20 Episode results for "Patton Oswalt"

REShow: Travis Kelce and Patton Oswalt. Hour 3 (10-21-20)

The Rich Eisen Show

55:16 min | 3 months ago

REShow: Travis Kelce and Patton Oswalt. Hour 3 (10-21-20)

"Thank you for listening to this podcast one production. Now, available on Apple podcasts podcast one spotify and anywhere else you get your podcasts. My local coffee shop is my Penn state world campus classroom giving me the full penn state experience online. My Penn state classroom is getting me to where I WANNA BE CLICK ON THE AD or visit World Campus Stop Psu, Dot Edu to learn more is the rich Eisen show I want to start they're. Doing everything right from the rich Eisen show studio in Los Angeles. Buki. Show bounce back This isn't a scenario that we wanted to raise it. GonNa. Win earlier on the show pro football hall of Famer Chris Carter Co host of Good Morning, football child brands coming up Kansas. City. Chiefs Tight End Travis Kelsey. Actor and comedian Patton Oswalt and now. Serves rich is. Wow. He just had quite a A commercial break with breaking stories here at the top of hour number three year on this busy Wednesday just a couple of things to just hit you on right now is. Odell Beckham junior according to Ross Dellinger and Pat Forty of sports illustrated. Yeah. Del received a two year ban from LSU. He handed out cash to La players on the field and we thought was that real that Real. Real, and Lsu is told Odell He's got to stay away. Apparently he handed out over two thousand dollars worth of one hundred during that wild scene, I always wild. and Ryan Fitzpatrick has spoken about to a getting the GIG. And to say that he is gutted by the decision is. An understatement. More have that later on this hour Patton, oswalt the delightful and funny actor and comedian. He's got virtual comedy show called Patton oswalt Arm's length. We'll be talking about that with him eight, four, two riches, the number to dial There's a new head coach in the NBA as well to to announce Stan van. Gundy he's now the new head coach of the New Orleans Pelicans. Just, went down where you take one commercial break in. And You bomb goes off in a pat. Forty goes off in a big. Patrick. Mahomes announced there. Is that right set he's going to be a girl dad is that right? Yeah. Hashtag Girl House. Man That's amazing. A girl dad and his his teammate. So that means he's you. You GotTa Get You GotTa make sure that you hit the. Girl side of the Registry Travis Kelsey do their Chavis backyard and the rich Eisen show. They're. That is. What News can you could by the way? Can you tell a home something for me please? You know again on behalf of all guys out there I'm a happily married man for two decades coming up but for those who aren't married, you know proposing to your longtime girlfriend the day you get a super bowl ring in which you're the MVP I mean that's that's a very high bar for many is that's just it's it's very difficult. He's no longer follows. He's left no room for anybody enough no room. He set the bar. So high it's absurd. You know. I don't. I know I've heard it to. Oh. I've heard it did I did I touch a nerve? A particular nerve travis no no, no nothing. No, it's been talked about it's been relayed. The message has been relayed and yeah just going to have to capitalize on it. They're rich. That's what it's about. It's about capitalizing on opportunities right Travis. That's why that's how you get a super bowl ring. That's how it works right there in this day and age. In general, how is that I? Do know I hear you I. Hear you how how is how is life for you It seems like everything is going fine and obviously things that little hiccup we can call maybe against the raiders but other than Matt, it seems like you picked up where you left off is that a fair assessment travis? Yes and I think we've with all the wacky stuff that's gone on over the off season in the in the beginning of the season with this Cova. Stuff and just all the protocols and the in switching up the games handling adversity. We've we've kind of had a we've been very fortunate to have a lot of guys back. So handling adversity is is still kinda familiar knowing that guys are holding each other accountable. The culture is already in the building coach read is unbelievable job of keeping. Guys motivated and wanting to do more if. Nothing. The guy's already don't have that mentality, but he's done unbelievable job of leading us in the right direction and none better than coming off the loss and getting ready for a Monday night game and in terms of culture in the building and adding people to it your comes levy on Bell Have you have you seen him yet? Have you cross paths with Lafayette? Okay. He's in the building. I believe he spoke to the media today about in. He's getting acclimated. What would you would you love about Levy out? So far is just energy man he's a he he brings energy every single every single day every time he touches the ball you can see electrifies the field I mean he's just he's that kind of guy and and I'm sure coach read is is just licking his chops on how he can implement them in the offense and get them going early. Have you sent a thank you note to the jets yet I know Lebanon hasn't played yet but if you sent that, thank you know because I can give you the address. No no I'M NOT GONNA I won't think I. WE'LL TAKE BREAD BEAT HER A. Rabbit out of his head again yet again, man that guy he's got a knack for May for making the right decisions and I think this is yet another one. Now obviously, you don't want to stunt the growth of Allaire who is just dynamite and had a great remarkable game in the Monday night rain in Buffalo. How is he handling the fact that there's GonNa be some sort of sharing I imagine of touches that that he might want for himself. Travis, now collide isn't that Guy Clyde Clyde, the pain Guy obviously. Who doesn't want to have the ball in their hands and be trusted with the ball in their hands? Every single play I mean it's we have. We have play makers everywhere on on on this offense and I think light is He has the right mentality is very humble dude. But just comes in works his tail off and when his numbers called, he's ready to he's ready to go off and have some fun. But I think I think that's Kinda. Unique about everybody in the in this offense is that nobody's really selfish in that regard everyone's kind of selfless and just trying to you know do their parts and When their numbers called, you know make a play I mean you're you're you're part of it all Travis Travis Kelsey here on the richeisenshow and by that I mean okay. So you're going to go out on some routes and catch touchdowns from a home that you did on Monday night, and then you're part and parcel of run game that racks up two hundred and forty five yards by my buddy Brian Baldinger pointed out that you basically ran only three running plays all night about forty six times over is that is that accurate? Did you run only just a handful of the same plays over and over again at the bills? There were a few plays that we that we ran back to back in a few places that we I would say was a little bit more than three but Yeah we've definitely we just we knew that we had to. We had we had to force the the defensive players in the run game and you know they I, guess their mentality was to try and stop the big place. The safeties and backers were at depths and are off into line did A. Job At just coming off the ball and just create creating a new line of scrimmage and and it made it easy for myself to get the second level blocks in a made it easy for for Clyde in the running backs to pick apart the defense and sure enough I mean two hundred and sixty are like you said later it's a it's a win on the. Board see what do you like best catching the touchdowns or being part of hitting people in the mouth for something like that? What do you gotTa Love Them, man. You gotTa Love them both you got to be equally as fired up when you get a good block that can spring a guy as well as getting in the end zone and taking a hit put up six. Points man it's It's just a love for the game man you. You gotta find those little Itty bitty parts of the game that you can just flourish, and you can just really appreciate doing your job and being held accountable and coming through for you guys. Now, you hear quite a bit around league. We're banged up this that the other thing offensive lineman being. Banged up. I'm staring directly at the Cowboy Fan on our set right now in TJ Jefferson who's sitting there not knowing why he needs his head on swivel during the Travis Kelsey interview I'm calling him out but you guys have got some injuries as well and you had people in the mouth and you got two hundred some odd yards rushing to what do you attribute all that Travis. I'm well I. Think one is the culture we were just talking about how coach read always. Always kind of set the tone and and and hold everyone accountable, and it's not just the starters and said, it's the guys that the the villain pieces knowing that there are only a step away or a play away from from getting their opportunity to go in and make a play for the team and I think that room that often collide room is such a tight tight room and it's it's very Business like and that's and that's hats off to coach heck goes Andy Heck is has been in the room so I've been hearing and and there's never been a flaw. In how he coaches and how he gets guys ready and prepared for the game and it's I mean one through ten or however many live and we got everybody is is definitely an understanding of what they're doing and and the mentality that they have to have gone out there and sure enough I mean it was on display this week. A few more minutes left with Travis Kelsey here on the rich Eisen show. Okay. You got your visiting Denver this week. A couple things just leapt to mind here. This is the spot where mahomes got a little bit of a wet speak a little bit at the end of the season and Alex Smith's last season there as the. quarterback of the Kansas City chiefs we just saw the Miami Dolphins make a move to to What is that like in a locker room where you know that there's a kid who's really special but you also adore the veteran quarterback that that you wanna play for walk me through. Do you think that Miami Dolphins players might be going through that potentially you guys did in that situation travis a lot of mixed feelings and granted every situation is different but a lot of mixed feelings because especially for when Alex was here for the situation that we went through in. Kansas. City, we everybody wanted to win win the Super Bowl for Alex men to see that guy come in and compete his tail off never shy away from the moment never shout never point a finger just always you know stood up in front of the team and demanded a accountability and excellence and You know knowing that that we you got something special in your back pocket man that's It's always going to be a business at the end of the day. So it's just it's an unfortunate situation and you'll for the for the veteran guy that's that's taken kind of the high. Road. Out. And And it's just. So it's pretty unfortunate especially when you see his Patrick talk about it like that you knew he was invested and he really wanted to take this team and keep winning and keep leading this team. The way he was but you know to was a great guy, a great player and I'm sure the dolphins will will have. Success with who out there on the field and if they don't I'm sure it's magic. We'll be able to come in and feel like you always have that and how about Alex Smith coming back making it all the way back and then carrying Aaron Donald and carrying Aaron Donald on his back for a couple of steps in the return. I'm sure you saw that right? Oh. Yeah. Man I mean, how can you not get fired up about that entire situation I? I'm just so excited that he's back playing football he looked like he was having fun. Trying to sling it around there and try to avoid Aaron. Donald in the pocket. Man is the IT I'm sure I'm sure it was fun for him to get a see wet again and to see his wife and kids in the stands are going crazy. That was just a awesome. Awesome seeing. to witness no everything has gone through such a touch topnotch human that Guy Alex Smith. He is one of the best man no doubt no doubt and then in Denver what is it like a mile high seriously like do you do you have to do anything different? Do it defined it that it's difficult to keep you breath up there for Me To say that I don't feel anything I mean I'll walk up. A flight of steps in feel way different. You know what? I mean just chest pump in lungs trying to find oxygen. It's a different feeling by by the time Second Corps or second quarter second half come around your your acclimated and everything. But for that first quarter man, you're sucking wind and there's not much you can do about it and with covert and everything I don't know how they're going to do the oxygen. Thanks sideline what to figure it out. How about that? Okay and then I guess. Is Somebody GonNa have to a test for the change in altitude with Andy Reed's visor system that it seemed to take a step back this week to be honest with you travis the visor system took a step back this past the Buffalo. The rain will get you foggy up. No matter what you got going. Hopefully we can. We can figure it out and if not. Going to have to handle adversity like he coaches. Would we need for him travis does not have the visor wipe guy how do we not have if Jerry Jones is a glasses clean guy how does not have visor white guy how do we not have? You know I don't I. Assign a guy to that. You know it's just there. It's such a manly sport to sign a guy to to. visor I just think it's just. It's a hard position. Put somebody just kind of got. Coaches get that guy right I mean doesn't chump face got a guy tells them to get back to get back how about adviser back guy like we gotta have that we gotta do something. Maybe. Make get back I have a dual role. Get, them going you know your adviser to get back. That's right. Sometimes, you gotTa play special teams to Right Travis. You know what I mean gotTa Make Equity Big. Backup long snapper here I got to be ready. Are you really are you really? I am I. Am I've been I've been a a a secret long long snapper since I was in I was in high school. Actually is my when I was a freshman is to tell everybody else varsity. Football player and I was, but I didn't play a lick on any down. Hold on a second. You're like, Hey, I'm on Varsity but you are the Varsity long snapper on punting that's what you were varsity long snapper. Yeah. That was my pickup line. All the ladies that I was. I was only. All the good guys long snappers are ladies men to Travis Kelsey. You just gave a whole bunch of people new. Hope Right now man you just did that. Never Emma tight end tight end tight coming up Sunday that's. Okay. So you, WanNa. That GIG is that isn't isn't that a kindle creation Brought it to life he brought to life, and now it's a holiday. Everybody's got party their tail off and enjoy the tight ends everybody. All tight ends have to score a touchdown by by the end of the game. Okay. I think they're actually going to implement the rule is there is there incentive to to have the best day? So you can. Have Bragging Rights on tight day with all these great Titans Travis. seriously. You know what? I'm GONNA say that's that's kind of like the underlying thing. But I I want all tied into have success. But yes, I want to have the most dare maybe an iron travis but he's a team player. You can't eat. There's also a t in Travis Kelsey. Thanks for the call brother always love our chats. Love our chats, best their best everybody there, and again, tell Mahomes to leave the rest of us a little bit of room as men. Okay. Trying to impress people. Long. Thank you right back at. Least Li Astray, it'll just a little bit of room here. Bars high I mean this Guy Girl Dad. How about that? That is so cool. That is so cool. And their straps, Kelsey with the ring and all that bling right there. Look at that. That's a that's a heck of a photograph. DENVER, for Kansas City is next. I just figured you know, hey, that's where mahomes got his taste and you knew that day I mean this is going to be at for Alex Smith. They had to know that this playoff run that they were going on with Alex Smith was going to be it probably knew beforehand and I'll tell you what? because. We saw you know. The excitement that. Ryan. Fitzpatrick was having it seeing to out there. We thought okay. He knew this was coming. He's on board for this sort of thing and. Oh my gosh. The fact that Schefter got the information out before floors could tell the team makes it even more difficult. So I. If you missed it, we'll get to that. Let's take a break here and then Patton. oswalt. We'll be calling into the show there is Patton Oswalt at arm's length is the actor comedians latest venture coming up and then Wait till. You hear what Ryan Fitzpatrick had to say that's still here on the rich Eisen show. Hey football fans are you an Amazon prime member? 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So if you're a stream or simply want the most custody of watching Thursday night football tune in live Thursday starting October eighth coverage begins at seven. PM and Kickoff is at eight twenty pm eastern on prime video also available on Fox and NFL network. NFL Network simulcasts subject to change Thursday night football is presented by Bud light platinum the. NASCAR playoffs returns Sunday three thirty eastern time on. NBC. Texas? Motor speedway I have been to that place that is very, very, very large facility. What were you doing they`re Doing something with Courtyard. Or something like that as the Cool. Yeah. It's it's it's quite a spot. That's awesome. S. At three thirty. PM Eastern Private Parts on yesterday. Yes. The last half hour. That movie is so good. It's kind of like you could say it's Paul Giamati. He's coming out party. I would I would say so yeah, he's so. Young. And I had never seen or heard of Paul Giamati before private parts neither yeah. Best acted by the real people movie ever right. Close got to be close. Yeah. I would say so they were amazing. What other movies are we talking about I mean were the guy pulled play your at don't forget Bora he's real like a you. Don't. Forget Borat Mike is basically don't click on why that's. Eight four four zero four rich is the number to Dow here on our program fund show ready with cow cow brandon and Chris. Carter. Travis Kelsey and Kyle. Brandt had my next guest on his podcast this week and you don't do that to the rich Eisen show. You don't do that to the rich Eisen show. seriously. If I was like, Ellen, I'd be freaking out right now. Well no one would be odd to look at you stop it. Stop It. and I've known this guy for quite some time our our our our children used to go to school together. That's how long it's been since I've known him and I love his work phenomenal stuff from this man who he's an AP bio by the way right here on peacock we can also mentioned that amongst many items including his live virtual comedy show Patton Oswalt arm's length patent office here on the show how you been patent. I'm doing great rich how you doing I'm doing fine. Did we ever did we ever? Handled parking and traffic together in front of the nursery school together we ever do that. Once upon a time, I seem to think that we might have put on those. The orange slicker days an although I may have been a few times I feel like I know the Tuesday's was was my day to go in and direct and move cars just waved people ended wait people off and yeah, and you had to be that guy sometimes with with parents move things along don't leave your car running without your keys in there and it was it got dicey patent I gotta be honest the little. It got a little dicey and it also got it was a it was a weird lesson in. Wow. I could actually slide pretty quickly into fascism. Forty. Very. Much. No, that is not how we do this. You've been here three weeks already know dokes like 'cause I would get you know there's kids walking along and people were like rushing into the driveway almost hitting people I would get really really like wound up about it. Really angry. All you need to do is just give me one orange vests slicker. Make me feel like I'm in charge. You know and just become a different person. You know it's your. It was really it was really weird how you would put that on and go. Well, you know I. I do as a matter of fact, you need to love your car up two inches. I'm going to be that guy you know like I did that are just memory that I think I did it with you once at any rate we been there done that essentially. been there done that What have you been up to in the pandemic sir other than just doing a ton of work but have you just been hanging out? What have you? What have you been up to so? It's such a why isn't that a weird question to know that now what we're because you, we all know in a way of version of what we're doing. I'm home trying to stay active listening the we all had I'm sure you had to vary quickly scramble to learn how to be your own engineer lighting guy sound like just have to do everything in your home basically. Now. You are a use. You are a mobile production fertility desert not by choice by necessity the Sir just give me a light in top I could make magic patent. That's all I need is my laptop I'm telling you I spent all day yesterday I got a new set of ring lights and the new microphone and I was so excited. It was sad it was I've become. You know what? This is how old people tell stories about their lives just when they get to the world, we're like a trip to the CVS is exciting and you actually want to tell someone about it and just like said that you know but but I left my house I was in the car I drove and you know when I put the, it's like you're just excited to be outside you haven't been outside. Exactly what about flipping around on TV throughout this time being endorsed and seeing and seeing something that you forgot your in. As anything that's how old you? Yeah, that wait a minute. When did that happen oh? They were showing A movie one night called observe and report it to Seth Rogan movie. Okay and I forgot that I was toasted manager and he shows my head into a toaster up. One Point in the movie which was. How did I? Could shut my editor at does. That that's a good question. That's a very good question you. You'd think you would remember something like that I don't I, don't. I know that is something else but I also I guess in this time and age I become Because of you know sports in whether a game's going to be on or not. I I've kind of become a practicing epidemiologist trying to learn all this stuff you know. I I never thought I would have to know about public health you know to talk about whether. Games happening or not so. I'M GONNA. Ask You something because I don't know I don't have a perspective on this about I don't really follow sports. Yes. Sir. But obviously, they started playing baseball again and I guess started playing they played a season of NBA basketball as they did they bubble up disneyworld actually patent they've sent they sent a whole bunch of people to Disneyworld. But what was it like for you as a sports fan watching Games and empty stands or cut out like did that affect your watching it? Let's get experience. No. No because it you know what it was. Weird. It was weird to start to be very honest with you. It was a little a little weird to start but once you realize that the athletes themselves treating it with the professionalism and the competitive value that that that was normal that I Lost Myself I. Didn't I didn't think about it. I really didn't I really didn't. Think about it it was just You know I I was just thrilled to have it again you know to to between I guess you know March and May or March and June doing a show like this every single day when you don't know sports, you're GONNA return and you're talking about what's going on in the real world more than what people would expect from a show like this it was it was unique. Let's put it that way you know it also. Because you're like, Hey, guys. I'm sorry if you're treating and I know I'm supposed to be your escape from the real world. None of us can escape it right now. So I kind of have to talk about it right which gives you I wish we could argue about this new running back that everyone thinks overrated and I can take calls we could scream at each other. I don't know what to do. That was accurate except for the part about the screaming, I like to just have normal nuanced conversation patent. You know what I mean like I'd like to. At least that's the way I could at least put my head on the pillow at night although there are some other people in my industry that would think differently I don't know. So what show I discovered during this, I'm Leykis show by the way I discovered it two weeks ago that blew through late. Is that show on Apple TV called Ted Lasso Oh, God? How great is that? What's your take us right? Is I. Again, I am so blown away by it is the simplest premise, the premise. Oh He's a good old boy who comes to England to coach soccer you like I can think of maybe five jokes for that. That's all it's going to be, and it is the deepest funniest like that. They take what seems to be. This premise shouldn't work or it should get boring immediately and it's the best show I've ever seen. I've ever seen. I've heard the same thing I've of my wife and I were or currently benching Shits Creek. Right now, we're trying to get through all. Our children don't go to sleep on time and we're wiped out, and if we can watch one or two of them were were, we're lucky but I ted last night after be next once we're through all that. You know as you all I'm. I'm really jealous that you're. GonNa get to watch tech laso for the first time. Okay. Like that's what other shows that when you recommend someone they go. Oh I haven't seen it yet. You don't go. You just go. I'm so jealous you're going to get to see it I wish I could raise it for my brain watch again. It's it's that again. You're GonNa Watch the beginning and go we'll this. There's no way to consider stain. It's like five jokes and then you realize no, this is about so much more. Than we should also. Good a will to US I. Guess The again, I've been using this phrase a lot I've seen it from all the CNN anchors these days we'll just leave it there. That's how they. That's how they finish conversations. We'll just have to leave it there and then also again. I guess a mandated station Simone Peacock as well and we did have Glenn Howard Tan on A couple of weeks ago AP bio is is right here. It's. It's still it's survived its back. It's pretty cool to see. Patent. Up that I lose them. The rights that I leave it there did we lose by leaving it there. Is He gone along let's see. Them. Do you think he really meant that that was the end of the conversation can't mean that. Oh my gosh. We're also not having issues with our phone system either. But anyway, AP buys available on Peacock. Maybe we can get him back on or something like that. I should also mention as well. Patton. oswalt arm's length taking place this very Friday at nine eastern six Pacific on the virtual platform on low on location live. Dot Com. To get your tickets spend an hour with patent. If your wife I can handle it and I'm assuming are wife is find out again. He's fine. You probably calling back on location live dot com slash Patton oswalt. I've had a few friends. Tell me to watch Ted Lasso right same haven't seen. Apple TVs, I've watched it yet but. I heard it's funny. Everyone's talking about. Jason Today. Kiss and. A. Mustache. Okay. All. Right. Let's let's take a break and we'll come back and patterns here That's great. If not then we'll do your news update, which is Levy on bell is spoken. Got A lot of San. Ryan Fitzpatrick is spoken and Mike McCarthy has spoken and if a patent Oswald is available to speak, we'll get back to that in just a couple of minutes right here on the rich Eisen show. Old Spice now has below deck a new line of products for your well below deck area new below deck powder spray helps you feel drier and cleaner down below new below deck anti chafe stick helps prevent inner thigh chafing nobody wants that available in the family planning aisle at Walmart or online at Walmart Dot com slash bice below deck peacock and a radio audience will join us in about sixty seconds time and that's when we'll patent back on the phone line he. Thinks, you know where it's timing is everything and. We'll bring it back on the radio audience returns, and now less than fifty seconds that when you say, we'll leave it there and then you ask a question and then gone I honestly thought. FOOF. Ever seen a gun never see him again but thankfully, he's going to get back and then. After just A, we'll finish up the conversation and then your news update So you we have levy on bell talking today. Right is Travis Kelsey said he met with the Media Ambala talking and Ryan, Fitzpatrick Dot is just I mean release. So sad I know, right. Didn't expect to lose his job to to he didn't expect it but it actually happened in happen out of the blue. Wow. Yeah, we'll get on that in just a couple of minutes here to finish up our Wednesday show here on the rich Eisen show. That we are now back here on the rich show on the mighty ten ninety and the rich Eisen show. Radio Network Patton. Oswalt, are you still there? Are you back do I still have you I'm here I don't know what happened. I'm sorry man it's all good. It's all good I said we'll leave it there and then you said you you you you. Thought I had something So let's talk about I. I mentioned the website just in case we were not going to get you back on location live dot com slash Patton Oswalt to see your virtual comedy show Patton oswalt arm's length I get that that information's correct right Correct this. Friday sixty. Nine o'clock Eastern. go there get a ticket and our new material, and so basically you're going to be in your in your your home and just talking doing your your setup acting how does this work? Is it going to be sitting in a very well lit kitchen nice because it has the best. Of all places that right I'm just talking about the world. So. You're not kidding when you got new microphone and a new system that you genuinely pumped up like this is this is actually important for your. This is an exciting moment in my last six months. This is a this is definitely a highlight of my life plus I got a new microphone in light. Okay. So tune in. To hear my new Mike and my new life. Okay. On location live dot com slash Patton oswalt man was mentioned as well since we're on peacock that AP bio thanks to peacock is is still alive pattern. Yes. They gave us a third season God bless them they let us do the best stuff on that show and still screaming and I just I just watched the Katie Holmes Day episode yesterday it's brilliant. Now. Really you WANNA put a little bit more meat on that bone right there for everybody. Out there well. There's so many basically they the riders. Idea for the episode episode where the town of Toledo celebrates Katie Holmes Day because Katie Holmes came from Toledo in this whole elaborate holiday that the town that the writers made up at the town light goes through and it almost feels like a real thing where they celebrate her career and her life and It's IT'S They're silly surprises in it, and of course, Jack Glenn Howard. Show. hates the idea of Katie Holmes Gay is now finding out about and like the grinch he tries to destroy it. but the latest work. So many amazing variations on on the grinch stole Christmas and the idea of what a holiday is, and of course, everything you need to know about Katie Holmes it's pretty brilliant. Well, as we know Katie Holmes just makes your heart grow larger I guess the continuum grinch. Very under the. Word. Rich thanks meaning home. Nailed it nailed it. I stuck the landing at Patton oswalt on twitter and instagram fall in I. Do a great follow with you patent and and let's you're most welcome. Thanks for the call. Let's do this again real soon, I'm one of those people I need closure whenever a phone call drops off I need to I need I even if you are just about to say goodbye I, I'm one of those people to call up to say goodbye. So I'm glad that we got to do this. Sweet. Thanks man. I will do that. Because you keep in shape. Okay. Gotcha. Thanks brother. That's Patton. oswalt Patton oswalt on twitter and instagram. It is true. I do believe I. Did do There was just any at these a lot well at the school then like the nursery school that's how long ago this was. We're talking about my twelve year old while back then it would have been two, three, three, four. Yeah right and it's was like this small little semi circle that could only fit like three cars. you know on the outer ring, you might be able to fit four. But the inner ring, it's just three and people would have to be waiting down the street can get. Onto this little semi circle to pick the kid up Nixon, and if somebody would just not move their car all the way. Or worse to get their kid and not leave the car running in the keys in the car. So your job was to not only wave the car's in park, but to move the cars up. Oh, my gosh. Fell Fun. I've done traffic control to school. Have you really when I was a cop more than once? Yeah. I was one of Simon's two people lip at you know some. You're out there like that. They informed her out now I pulled it in. You're like sitting there going come on I'd be like laughing or where let me let me let me put my. My hands on the wheel of your luxury vehicle I mean it's like, yeah you just gotTa move gotTa move not not easy to do. A lot of work. All right. Speaking of a lot of work Chris Brockman. You've got a large news update to do especially this Wednesday edition of the rich Eisen show go ahead and hit it please Lord. With a report of the day's news from the world of sports entertainment entertainment someone who is not a journalist or newsman by any definition of the word whatsoever which Chris Brockman by the way in terms of mentioning Borat, I did I just use that as an example I had no idea was in the news whatsoever. I'd no idea why it's in the news. From before when Mike said that private parts was the best acted movie in the history of movies by the people playing themselves I don't know of many other films and I just decided. Let's have fun I'll choose one of the Sasha Baron Cohen Character OMG's all have to say, yeah. All right. Chris, what do you have they Jerry Jones talk yesterday then this and he spoke before Jane released her anonymous cowboys quotes. Okay. He did. But this is Jerry on his radio show talking about Mike McCarthy. The good thing is that I know what? He's experienced You know he won a super bowl going up through the wildcard side. so you know to. Adjust overcome things when you. Have that kind of accomplishment on your record. What we don't have to worry about is he capable of coaching a team to the to the ultimate and he? Is. He's outstanding to say the least with his. Experience he has a a great and I mean great Football. Fundamental basics and with that you. Build on that. Okay so Jerry with some praise for my McCarthy's taken a lot of heat and this week. McCarthy did speak after Jane. Slayers. Out quotes were made public correct call saying that the coaches don't know what they're doing in the coaches can't adjust on the fly in. It's a total complete mess. Yes. So here responded to that afterward yesterday about the disconnect between players and coaches. Think like a lot of things. when you hit. A apart of your season. Ready Challenge. The raise negativity out there where in where it comes from and who comes from a mets. That's something that. Never chased but I I think you do have to. Recognize it. And I just go back to my first meeting with the football team. of always stated this Terry came that. That that coached I think it's important to handle things men. I mean if you do have something to say publicly that that is of utmost importance I think it's important to say to the individual particularly in in in a group dynamic setting especially in the game of football especially for the Dallas Cowboys I, mean, that's all part of the development. Of Our program of our system that we're installing here. So I think this you know part of our flight right now we don't like the way we played last night You. Know we had some some areas that we started strong in but You know it's it's it's it's definitely not what we're looking for. Definitely not what we're looking for. I'd say. You got the what were they really thinking? Can you find that one right there because You can't really say what he's really thinking. Really thinking. I love that. Dress. Things up a little bit. We got you years Mike. McCarthy's really thinking who the hell said that. Because you want to talk about unhelpful. You know say what you will about me and my coaches. But there's a door you don't like it. You can walk through it and there's a door. That's mine. That's open. So. Why don't you walk through that one and tell me what the hell's on your mind because. Is. Much. As you may think, I may not know what I'm doing and I may not be giving off the impression in the building that I know what I'm doing I do know what I'm doing. or at least I'd like to think so. And it's not my doing. That are quarterbacks leg got snapped and every single offensive Lineman is hurt and Zeke put the ball on the ground twice. But I'm not going to be calling him out publicly. For putting the ball on the ground twice, and I'm not GonNa sit here and make an excuse about the offensive lineman or the fact that the quarterbacks get snapped. But. We need to pull this damn thing together. And I'm not firing Mike Nolan, unless Jerry Jones is GonNa, make me do it and even then I might not. So you're here I'm here let's go beat the Washington football team. Honestly, what's he supposed to say to the media? And if he's not thinking that then Dallas cowboys have got a real big problem. What else do you have over there? Okay. new chiefs running back a levy on Beltran's Kelsey said that they talked to the media he did talk to the media. So Travis was not lying to was not lies seller. He told us the truth and Levy on bell spoke on why he chose to go to Kansas City. You know when I had opportunity Once I was free agent no talking to Kodori. Just, courses like we just kind of the niable to come. Charter. Come here you hoped team. anyways I help him out you know nope opportunity bellicose is going to be no magnificent for me. So these players around. No pay mahomes. I never pay the players know MVP wash. So it's GonNa be fun. Nothing is a lot of weapons for me. Did. You. Did you hear what I heard. Her that's got a touch of the Kyri to done. You hear what I just. Beyond the also go flatter later on. Off. Touch Curry. I've never played with somebody's talented his mahomes well. He never got a vote for MVP but your quarterback. Kind of one twice before you arrived on all fame can I also do? What were they really thinking? What would you really think? Slow. Here's what Levy on bell was really thinking. Okay. Look when I had some options here was I going to go to buffalo freeze my ass off. I've already done that. if I'M GONNA freeze my ass off I'M GONNA go with a guy in Pat Mahomes. And Patrick Mom I don't WanNa Piss you off. Just call them. Patty. Miami was very enticing to me I mean because I do love South Beach and I do love living there and what the state tax and all that stuff. But you know what I screwed up by going to the jets The jets are even worse in terms of screws up. I need to rehabilitate by game and. In. So, I can actually make up the money left on the table in Pittsburgh. Why shouldn't I signed with Kansas City and by the way, thanks the jets for screwing it up. So bad to let me sign with Kansas City. And did I say that I never played with an MVP quarterback before I'd like to retract that statement because I don't want to create a whole. Which is I'm sure phrase that. Loves not thinking about. He's going to be so good there. He's going to be so great there. I don't think an even don't take the cheese don't fall for the banana and the Tailpipe to the tune of seven rushes thirty five yards, three catches, twenty five yards and Edwards Allaire gets the lion's share of the snaps in in in game one don't fall for that banana and the Tailpipe if that's what in fact emerges as bananas and Tail Pipes. against. DENVER. which is a serious defense as we saw in New England and also is a difficult place to play as Travis Kelsey says, he's out of breath just walking up the steps as live hasn't gotten a lot of touches in the last year and a half the next week. The New York jets roll into town and Oh, boy, this is just a warm pack. This is off Broadway. This is. This is like waiting for Guffman right now for them. Okay. This. Is Him putting together the stools you know and and having you know the the the local The local production of backdraft. Against Denver and that's no disrespect to Denver just saying that that's a huge stage coming up for love. That's what I'm really thinking. What Else Chris? Okay. So Ryan. By the way I quite yeah. Waiting for Guffman with Levy on Bell but how could you that's why you come to the rich Eisen show yeah I don't think anybody else is doing that no no. So. We've been talking about the last two days dolphins going to uh as their starting quarterback. Now this is something. This is something. So Ryan Fitzpatrick met the media today and talked about getting told by Brian Forest that he's no longer the starter and what from. My heart is hurt all day. It was it was heartbreaking for me. they don't i. Flow contact said what he said and said what he said you guys as well, and that's the decision. The direction that the organization is going in and obviously. We talked in the past new guys about you know how the placeholder and this eventually was going to happen. No matter. Just, a matter of. Kind of win not if and. It's still just it. It broke my heart yesterday and know it's a tough. Tough thing for for me to ear and to now have to deal with but Going to do my best with it. This. Game Man. This game this this this National Football League, which is you know stands. As Jerry Glanville once pointed out as an stands for not for long. Well Ryan Fitzpatrick has been added a long time and you know I I have my fun. With his length of his career in multiple stops, as I, pointed out earlier that he set a record for most wins. By a quarterback on different teams against the Jacksonville Jaguars earlier this year that actually happened after Thursday night which he bawled out and then showed up and you know like seventies gear looked like with his chest hair hanging out in him with his. Beard and flowing chest hair and tell him his wife to put the kids to sleep and watching him score touchdowns with his legs and throw it with his arm and just it's an infectious game that he has not just watching it as a fan. But knowing what it means to a teammate to see him balling out the way that he does and being prepared professional as he is and seeing him rooting on tour I even wondered yesterday maybe they knew at the time this was the changing of the guard and I feel so silly for saying that. And I feel for him and also for Miami. And don't. Blame Schefter. Don't. Blame him. It's his job is to find out information and then let us all know. But clearly everybody found out through Adam schefters. Remarkable. And popular twitter. Account. What they hadn't yet told Ryan Fitzpatrick who deserves better than that and You know maybe the no way out hunt for that mole is on in the same way that it's on for whoever I'll say in the Fox sports world or wherever somebody thought it was funny or cool or good to have what Joe Buck and Troy Aikman said. That's not even a hot mic. That was a microphone that wasn't meant to be heard by anybody. And it got leaked out maybe that hunt for that mole is onto. But. This game will just make you exhilerated and filled with life and love for another and love of the game and love of a craft, and then it'll just got you. When you don't deserve it. And it's not like to is the one with the knife or clearly. Brian. Flora's isn't the one with the knife either I'm sure it did not take. You didn't take any pleasure delivering that News Ryan Fitzpatrick who by the way Is One snap away from being required to be the guy he was. In his last snap that he took for Miami before giving away. to He's got to be there and he's gotta be there in a way that support of two and is supportive of the team because they could turn back to him within one snap. As we saw with. Dowse. I mean we all know it's a cruel game in so many ways, but it's a beautiful game and it's a game that we love so much and it just. Is something that Ryan Fitzpatrick deserves better and I just feel for. Quotes We didn't have, but he said there's a lot of stuff going through my mind yesterday like is this it? Was My last game as an NFL player. Says he has no idea about next season and he's not the type of guy to go in there and ask or demand trade or any I mean so. Maja bomber he says, he said I've been a starter I've been benched all kinds of different ways. But this was kind of the first place other than buffalo that I've been fully committed and invested I. Felt that it was my team. Don't forget again when he did go on that run with the jets only to fall short playoffs, he was brought in to be Gene Smith's backup and suddenly became the starter because Gino how his face rearrange by his team which is. Jet Highlight of the last decade plus. A. Crazy crazy crazy sport. That will just. Make. You love it and hate it all at the same time but you can't be without it and I just I feel for Ryan Fitzpatrick who again. Just think about it. Don't forget. Drew bledsoe this hundred million dollar contract and took New England to the playoffs and then lost his job due to injuries. Bill Belichick as coach probably didn't want but had to do and then who got him to the Super Bowl that year? Let's head to come in because Brady turned his ankle. Championship game you never know. You never know. Wow. I WanNa thank Chris Carter Kyle Brandt. Travis Kelsey was delightful Patton Oswalt as well and you Albert is GonNa be our first guest up tomorrow. We've got a lot of other tricks up our sleeve for our Thursday program. Nobody caught top right or gun in our poll question. sixty, five percent didn't get any. Best Tom Cruise eighties movies top gun. Mike told me you that drum? Sorry. Sorry Yeah I mean. I guess we need to go nineties movie for for. Tomorrow few. whow man what a? Day. What a day in the NFL and it's just a middle of a week. So tomorrow, we'll get you set for the week seven kickoff between the one four and one eagles. All right and the one in five. New, York. Records out you. Can't you can't because I'll tell you what or place online And you know Puckett Aikman, we'll have fun with that. It's a it's a big rivalry game and it is a big game. It is a large game. But Buck and SMOLTZ will call game two of the world series tonight between Blake Snell and Tony Gone. We'll talk about that on our Thursday program for those of you who are watching US streaming on peacock stay tune there's still more to come as we get you set for brother from another to the rich Eisen show radio audience on Sirius Xm and the mightier ten ninety locally around the country we say, thanks for taking in this show. WAS COMING GUESS WHO. Started saying all join me every week. For the Michael Irvin podcast. We'll give you the four IMP IP experience. Everything football to fashion I will be chopping it up with playmakers, headline makers, and I am throwing haymakers I'm begins VP. Him, our teeth joe miss download new episodes of the MVP the Michael Irvin. PODCAST every Thursday on Apple podcasts cast one in spotify.

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Comedian Patton Oswalt On Parenting, Loss And Keeping Humor Alive

On Point with Tom Ashbrook | Podcasts

46:27 min | 5 months ago

Comedian Patton Oswalt On Parenting, Loss And Keeping Humor Alive

"From. NPR. And WB, you are Boston magnetized Birdie and this is on point Patton. oswalt is an actor and comedian known for his many film and TV roles including the voice of remmy. The culinary rat in Disney Pixar two, thousand, seven, Ratatouille. Three, Spencer, the paranoid friend, and CVS is the king of Queens and pen. Edna. The leader of a citizen crime. Sleuth Club lose season four of Veronica Mars. But most importantly as Oswalt himself will tell you, he's father to eleven year old. Alice, his daughter with his late wife author Andrew Crime Blogger Michelle McNamara since. Since Michelle, sudden death for years ago. Oswald, has spoken eloquently and hilariously about grief morning and learning to raise Alice without her mother. He also pushed through it all to publish McNamara's unfinished book. I'll be gone in the dark one woman's obsessive search for the Golden. State, killer and he's now executive producer of the forthcoming six part. Docu series of the same name premiering on HBO. This Sunday June twenty eighth and Patton oswalt joins us now to talk about that shot about parenting about humor in a pandemic. He's with us from Los Angeles. Welcome to on point. Oh. Thank you so much for having me. It's so great to talk with you. First of all, how do you feel about about this HBO, Docu series seeing the light of day here? Yeah. It's it's a mixed bag I mean, I'm very, very happy that. The, the fuller even deeper story more up-to-date story is getting told the one that that happily ends with. Joseph Dangelo being arrested for his crimes, but and I'm I'm extremely happy that that the series was directed by Liz Garbis, a WHO's an incredible documentarian and who made. I just think masterpiece. The mixed bag for me is that as exact producer, you know I have to watch the rough cuts and there were there are moments reliving moments in my life that were. Really, really, psychically emotionally and spiritually difficult. So there were you know I had to take breaks in between. Some of these. it was you know I'm certainly not gonNA. Let Alice. Watch this now, she can watch it when she soldier. Liz is really really good at getting into. The meat of things, not just with what I went through losing Michelle, which is a very small part of even deeper. What the survivors, the victims, victims, families, the investigators went through. The years of just. Rage hopelessness basically, and and so there's a, there's a an amazing redemptive arc at the end of all of it that that I'm again it's it's Liz Garvan her her filmmaking genius. mcvay. I, absolutely. Hear you about. That redemptive arc passing through the lives of the victims of the Golden State killer. And their families as well. And I think that's an important point to make. But since I've got you here on the other end. I did want to talk a little bit about. More about what the process was like for you. Because as you said, you had to go back to those. Credibly painful moments losing. Michelle. Do you WanNa, talk about that a little bit? Well the process for me was was very similar to the. Process of writing the book and that there was A. There was a huge ask on my end of when, I when I needed to get the book done, I didn't finish the book was Billie Johnson and Paul Haines and her her agent publisher. I handed all materials for them. Instead, this got to be done I. Don't know how to do it. You know this is so beyond my especially with how wrecked and wounded and wink I am right now and they really pick that up and then with the the documentary which. Goes deeper especially visually and Audibly, I kind of reached after Oliver Friends, all of her family went back through all of my. Photographs and films, and. Videos on my laptop it on my phone of her and. gave both of her laptops and her phone. I I called a computer guy that I know to get them unlocked. gave all that material to the filmmaker. So you see her emails or texts and everything. So. It was. Initially, that was really hard, and then there was that handing off and and being kind of like I've handed at put this in someone else's hands because I can't actually sift through it piece by piece myself because it'll be two devastating, but again. I'm GonNa, I'm GonNA bring up her name a lot. Miss. But Liz Garbis. If you watch her other stuff that in the Simone, documentary the New, York Times documentary. You know that you you feel confident putting material in her hands if you watch your other films Oh. Yeah. Well, let's listen to a little bit from the first episode. Okay. If we can this is episode one again premiering on Sunday June twenty eighth on Hbo of begun in the Dark. And here's a scene where patent you're signing copies of of the book of Michelle's book that you helped. See through to its completion. You're signing copies and reflecting on what that process was like having to to do that without her. I was in the basement struggling to get this after we're done because it was hard going because I was also reading the book. There were those moments when. I would want just. Like run upstairs and go tell her something because it felt like I was listening to her and then I like know what she's not. So it was just it was a very. It was very dark. That's from the first episode of All. Of. You WanNa. You WanNa talk about that a little bit more. Well, I mean the. There are moments when you read the book in especially when you watch. The documentary when her the actress. Ryan mazing. Actress Amy. Ryan. Gone Baby Gone and the office and the wire. reads Michelle's texts and emails letters. And other pieces of writing and You, know you. There is that feeling away transition she here like like, why isn't she here for the lake when you see because so much of her voice in her soul came through in her writing. So when you read her writing, it feels like you. WanNa turn to your right and Taylor something like she's come back because of the way that she roach, he was very, very personal in present In how she wrote and what she wrote about. So that's what I'd say it's a very dark week in that. It really exacerbated her. The the paradox was it really really amplified her absence by having her feel. So present, Indian, reading all that stuff and listening to all that stuff. Does that make any sense? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely does and I think that's one of the things that that is frequently experience when. People are remembering moments with with with loved ones. So it's like the right back there. Yeah in present in the room. Since you mentioned that we do have a clip of Amy Ryan reading. Some of of of Michele's writing, and here is a bit where Amy's reading Michelle's words about what? She thought of the early stages of your relationship Patton. So again, this is accurate. Amy Ryan, King Michelle. McNamara's words. We loved many of the same things like creature from the black lagoon tales of the grim and offbeat and. Food. I didn't like the way, his comedian friends including him seemed to tell jokes, but never listen. He's fought. I was thin skinned. For a while it seemed, it might not work. But. One night he was saying goodbye to me, anyone me over with an adorable Edward G. Robinson impression. Obviously I never knew Michele in person at all. But even just those words what an amazing woman I mean. She was, she was such a original. Personality in such. So her own person and just did not take. Didn't take crap from anyone, but then also surprise herself by what would delight her and she didn't judge what delighted her so again. She was such A. She was such an elevated person in in comparison to. Pretty much anyone else I admit up to that point in my life. So it was it was Kinda. You know it really bold me over took me took me off my. Feet for a long time, I I love her direct honesty there when she says. I didn't like the way, his comedian friends incuding him. Seemed to tell jokes but never listen. While that unfortunately in that one sentence, she absolutely nailed the species love, and if you've ever with Comedians were all waiting for our line where wait window I jump in withdrawal were all riffing. It's not a conversation It's a weird jousting match and yeah, she she saw that very early on. That kind of honest and loving directness. We need more long in this world. Yes. Oh, God. Yeah. Well, luckily, you know in a in a weird way. I I. I found that again, never thought I'd find that again and I did with Meredith the my my wife now married at Salinger. Who is the so? is in the exact same way of like I'm just GonNa. Tell you exactly what I'm feeling right now, why? What? What is the point of pulling a punch? It's just 'cause hassle town road. So it's amazing when you meet someone like that. So I didn't I. I wanted to talk about the Docu series and and Michelle not so not in order to sort of just drag out all these poignant and maybe even sometimes painful moments in in remembering her but also to. Just. I wanted to reflect for a second with you that. Honestly. As a nation because of this pandemic way we we there are more than one hundred, twenty, thousand people who have died so far meaning meaning. Millions possibly if people who who know someone who've lost someone they love. And? You know I was just hoping. Could we learn? Do you have? Anything from your experience of going through this in such a public. Wales. So that. You share with people. You know I remember. A few days after Michelle died. This was some late at night. Alice couldn't sleep. She'd come into bed. You know she was like I can't issue was having nightmares. Of course, I was having nightmares. We could not say three in the morning. We're sort of talking, and you know and I, and Alice said when your mom dies, you're the best memory of her. Everything that you do is a memory of her and I remember that moment. I. Remember I wrote it down because. When we I feel like when we lose people that we love or we see that even maybe someone that we weren't close to, but they're gone. It doesn't. Ultimately do them. They would not want their legacy to be someone's life was ruined because their absence Y- for for them be a living tribute to them. Well, we're talking this hour with patent oswalt. About. The new HBO, Docu series will come back and talk more about parenting and humor in pandemic as well. This is on point. This is on point I'm Meghna. Chakrabarti, we are talking this hour with Patton oswalt to the actor and comedian his latest stand up specials called. I love everything it streaming. Now on Netflix is also executive producer of I'll be gone in the dark. It's a six part Docu series on. HBO. Based on the book of the same name that explorers his late wife Michelle McNamara's investigation into the golden state killer again, that's on HBO now Patton before the break you talked about we started talking about Your, re raising raising your daughter after after Michelle passed away, but I want to I want to just play a little bit of A. Of A performance pen a stand up performance that you gave which I think Alice actually plays the key role here. Okay. So so this is from March okay. You perform and tweeted pandemic standup if we can call it that from your front yard. Okay. So there were like barely any audience members, Alice's. Let's hear a little moment from that. All right folks. Thanks for staying in tonight Hope you guys are isolating and securing in place. This covert nineteen. I didn't see covert one through eighteen so I don't really know. What this is all about. But Hey, you know great time to catch up on your streaming. Oh. Hey. How you doing there how you doing today? All right. Let's. So she's a tough crowd. She's a really tough crowd. That was we were I. Remember that was the very. The it was two days after the lockdown was announced in we had gone to. Visit a friend to make sure they were doing. Okay, and we just sort of came. We are doing that one of those social distance visits like, are you okay with you know and then ought to Kinda spontaneous. So it was like I just fill me doing stand up out on this lawn and then Marisa. Let's do like she did the cinematography where still let's start on you. Then all circle around reveal how empty everything is, and then we recruited hours to beat it. I just love the idea of. A 'cause Comedians were addicted to the we're addicted to what we do. So there were going to be you know. That's what that's. The first thing I envisioned was community. We're going to go out in their front lawn and start jamming because their circus audience. But also like no matter where we go, there will be a heckler and of course, ours was perfect is this. Takes, time to stop and let me know how awful I am. which it? It's weird. A lot of. A lot of my comedian were laughing to me about how the most comforting part of that video for me was the Heckler. Still there it is X. The club. Everything. Hasn't changed not everything. Okay. Good. We're we'RE GONNA make. There's still people tell me. How, is I mean? How is Alles doing? She's eleven now. I mean Alice's doing. O. K I mean I think for a lot of kids would bothers me is you know I'm still very very I think a lot of creative people. One of the one of the ways that you keep your creativity as you you kind of don't lose your child's perspective on things. You remember very strongly what it was like to be a kid in. A Kid's perspective on life. Looked like when you know summers were endlessly, it was an so to. See this generation of kids getting summer taken away from them. I just wonder what the if there's going to be psychic damage down the road. If that's GONNA shape how this generation season does things i. hope that it shapes it, they find a way to shape it in a good way. but that is something that weighs very very heavily on my mind like I'm doing what I can, whenever can't to give her a summer I, don't really know haven't figured out quite how to do that yet because I don't want to get on an airplane anywhere I don't want to. Go to a any kind of crowded public. Space but you know. Go bike riding with masks. Try to do a treasure hunts in the in the House Sir. I I don't know I'm just trying to. You WanNa. Give them those loose summer days because I. Think. That's a part of growing up to have just goof around time as a kid. Yeah, absolutely. Know and I mean. L I can see I can understand how this would be even more. This is on every parent parents minds, and in addition I mean in your case specifically, Alison already been through so much. Can you can you just? I'm pausing here patent because I'm a mom too, and sometimes I'm parents do these weird sort of mental gymnastics where every once in a while, maybe I'll just speak for myself here. Thank God. What what, what would I do if? What would I do if this sort of very carefully crafted? Family unit that we have. If a key part of that like just was gone with the keystone pulled out, how would I hold this bridge? I don't know. It's like a self torturing mental preparation exercise I. Don't know what it is, but just sometimes I do that and yet you had to live through that. So I, mean that first year after. After Michelle died like. How did you hold yourself together? I held myself to a lot of times I didn't. Flat out. Say they were days when I could not hold it together where I. I, I remember very specifically that Alice Mr David School. Because I could not sleep, and then when I go to sleep I didn't wake up till noon and I hadn't woken up and hadn't gotten like, Oh, I'm going to school today because I could not get it together Those days when you fall apart so profoundly. That's when you. Okay. You've got to function on a basic level here. You reach out to people You're you have to, you are living with the even though. Yes, there were there were. You know just like any. Any married couple anyone to win you meet someone that that further completes you and makes you a better person. You are. You do have those dark thoughts. What if I lost his person? How would I function? But in your mind, you're only imagining hypothetical the actual having to live through it is so. You're absolutely not prepared on any way It's a moment to moment terror. So if it's any comfort, this is this is not going to be comforting. You don't get through it. You're put through it like there are days where it gets so bad that it's almost like you have the. Freedom from choice really like well I. Don't have I'm just GONNA, get put through this like in a way I'm. I have the freedom of powerlessness here. I just have to put through this. And? The that's not. That's not a comforting thing to say, but it's true. It really is like. I'm just GONNA exist today and there are days when you know there's a lot of an and a lot of my the deeper grief I hid from Alice because I might reasoning was she's already going through a nightmare. She doesn't need to see her dad crying, just need to see her dad You know just scrolling through pictures or frequently having panic attacks just doesn't need that. So I did everything I could to hide that from her now, at least give her a rock. Yeah. I wanted to ask you a little bit more about that because That's that's. One of the your takeaways from here that that you've shared before and it's it's I totally get it right? Because you said you, WanNa, be the rock the remaining rock for your child when there's when she experienced such a profound and wrenching loss. But at the same time, like there's I, it's it's a balancing act right because. She was young. So I get it. The older different but. There's also the the affirmation of the grief that she's feeling that you might see in you as you were struggling to, you know what I mean, right? Exactly. I I did struggle with that. How do I show her I? Mean I think there are ways without it being overt that I showed her again, the day that daddy wakes up at noon and and it's just can't even think straight that the I think that that was the okay. Daddy's going through something too. But I I don't know what it was. Just I was trying not to mean when I the day that I told her. The day after Michelle passing ahead to sit down and tell her burst into tears trying to talk to her because I just couldn't you know. But after that, like don't want to add to this trauma. knows. She's a little kid. She's she's had enough trauma now, I can't add to it. Yeah. Well, we've got actually a listener on Facebook Jacob, Evans? Who says, Patton Oswalt is a delight. He'd be curious Jacobs curious to hear what keeps you going when things are rough. Well one one way to keep yourself going when things are rough. If you are struggling with depression is to just be very open about a i. need some help like I do weekly talk therapy on antidepressants. There's no shame in that. You those things help 'cause mankind developed those we quickly, we invited those for a reason. Why would you not take advantage of that but otherwise I think to keep going is is is one thing that? That really helped me was will, how can I help someone else out there? There's nothing that makes you feel more present and alive as a person. Then when you're lifting someone else out up or if you're giving away some of your power that it is such, an affirmation of I'm alive and I exist and and I have an effect on things. So look around maybe for someone else to help even if it's not direct like, can i? You know volunteers, alert can contribute donate some or whatever it is just. Check check in on someone that you think might need help it it it. It sounds weird. But it really really helps. Did you learn anything or what did you learn about yourself as a father? Having to do this. I learned as a father that you can do. You can royally screw up things and still be a good parent. You can. There are times when you're like Oh, God isn't cleaned socks Oh, man i. didn't. I didn't get this form signed for school and you just you go do. You very open about I. didn't sign this thing. I'm sorry I'm late. Can I please get this thing done or God? I forgot to make her lunch I gotta drive back to school just like. When, you screw up. A absorb the blow roll with it in fix it. I. Suppose you'RE GONNA YOU'RE GONNA screw up as a parent. You're going to happen. Tell me about you're going to I. Mean you're GonNa screw up is when you have when both parents are there I'm sure you've had that when you guys are like Oh, did we just totally forget to do this? It's going to happen. Every day. Every single day. I had it happened to me last night where we had a little. Incident in my household and I did not respond in with my best maternal cell. Know. Every parent is like I know exactly what? Afterwards after after I decided to finally get her out of taking some depressed I was like. Okay. So that did not go as I would have wanted. To start up. Again. Think of how would we growing up that the again? Well, intentioned. But really dumb things are apparent in the seventies and eighties you get through it. Everyone just doing the best that can with what they have. Yeah. The absolutely. Okay. So let's hear a little bit more about. How parenting or what it's been lake for you because there's also the issue now as of earlier, this year about homeschooling. So in a tweet from March you shared some of your home schooling method and methods, and here's this is Alice. We'll hear Alice year. And you she was working on a report about Cleveland Ohio, and you decided to teach her about some of the city's. To great comic. Book legends, including Harvey, P, cars here is. In fact, in two, thousand, three leading movie of American splendor. Actually, it came down to me and another comedian. Judah friedlander for the part of. Toby. RADLOFF. Harvey's best friend. They went with. With Judah. Judah was good. It was good. But he looked just like us again, that's as far as your imagination. Something different to. needed. Look exactly does. This. Vaccine. These. Patent. Can you tell me? Well, that's also mean kind of making fun of myself when emeritus points out all the time when I'll just start going off on these. Weird. Kind of riffs about pop culture in movies where. She's like you're talking to your daughter doesn't care about this when show watch some movie or read some graphic novel. Now, who might well, you know interestingly enough, there's three different like district gambling about this. All of this useless knowledge, it's in my brain America's Kinda go. No one knows what you're talking about right now. What are you doing? So you know I thought it'd be funny to make video that way of my my horrible parenting teaching techniques. It'll be great if she ever takes a college course on Trivia Dan, that's my time to shine. Well, I sorry, there's this happens. This is one of the things about radio wanted to go back and there's something I should have asked you earlier and I didn't. So I'm just going to circle back. About again, that that first year. After Michele died 'cause I. Did you did you turn to comedy at all during that time to help you and Alice or was it just? A no-go zone. For me, it was just being present with her and and just trying to like read to her and things like that. As far as comedy was concerned I didn't do comedy for. I think like I didn't even think of doing Santa like four or five months, and then it just got to like I don't know what else to do. And I remember I. Went didn't open MIC thinking. I'm just GonNa, do this so that it'll be so horrible that I'll remind myself that I shouldn't be doing comedy, but it was such a release for me. To go up in talk, and again, it was like this researching of the life force. So I kept. Going, and then as far as watching comedy, you know what? I really needed after. I was. After Michelle Pass in all my life I needed absolute absurdity turned to comedy like there was a lot of Tim and Eric a lot of Eric on Sunday, just nonsensical. I mean abstract weirdness. That's what I wanted I wanted. That's what the because because nothing made sense to me. It was actually comforting to see people embracing the nonsensical especially and I remember I kept listening to a lot of early. Steve. Martin albums, Let's get small comedy is not pretty because. I, he was just pure absurdity. and. It was so comforting to me. That makes total sense to me, I. Feel like. When when reality has ventured into the absurd like the. With is absurdity I've felt that law in the pin this pandemic actually. I mean again, that's why I think a lot of the the best comedy that's coming out of this pandemic is the absolute absurd. I mean it although in a weird way I'm sure you've talked about this to you know th this this new superstars Sarah Cooper who thinks the trump's have? What's so brilliant about her? Is, that her joke is she she's almost playing someone who's trying to make trump look better which only like highlights the absurdity of what he's saying like if she was there pulling faces in being goofy like look at this dummy, you would go okay. Your lip synching. But the fact that she's she's almost looks like she's playing someone who's on trump's media team like, okay. He said something really dumb today. Let's have you let you're really you. You're very intelligent put together. Let's have you do it and it makes it look ten times worse. It's so brilliant. We, talking this hour with Patton. oswalt. The actor and comedian. Will. Come back. This is on point. This is on point I'm making a chocolate bardy. Today, we are talking with Patton Oswalt. He's the actor and comedian known for his many film and TV roles including the voice of remmy and Disney Pixar ready-to-eat. By the way, we just watched rewatch that in my family a couple of weeks ago. Patent of the movie holds up as beautifully today as it did back in two thousand seven. Thank you. He's also been on ABC's the goldbergs on CBS. The King of Queens on Veronica Mars. He's author of Zombie. Spaceship Wasteland a book by Patton. Oswalt, and he's executive producer of begun in the dark, which is the six part HBO Docu Series Based on the book of the same name that explores his late wife Michelle McNamara's investigation into the golden state killer, and that's on HBO I. Wanted To get all that in patent because it's your long and rich career. Here is one of the reasons why we're getting all of this social media love for you here. Jamie bear cloth, bear, Clo-. Sorry, Jamie. I said your name. Wrong. But Jamie says the painting, the patron saint of nerds. I will watch everything with this guy in it everything. has been fantastic. Jamie. Good luck. Thank you. Wow. I'll take it. Out Totally, take it and Jin says totally enjoying the discussion about death and comedy. Thank you for this interview and my God, what a weird sentence. Totally join discussion of death and comedy. I. Think you just the complexity of thought amongst our listeners here. Okay, and then how about this one social distancing Stephanie says, thank you patent for sharing Alice's words. My mom died about a week ago and I found this very comforting album. Think she's referencing Alice's words about being the living memory of piano that you lost. So people are people are listening Patton, you not I also wanted to say that Earlier in the show and replace some of the clips. Of you and actually featuring and I laughed out loud. I have to say I. Just like feeling that belly laugh. It was kind of a surprise. I, was like Oh, that's what this feels like I haven't had this feeling in a long time. I. Do feel like all of us. Have had this sort of collective. Holding of our breasts or or or like suspended animation for many months now, and he was something as simple as the release of laughter actually is coming as a surprise. Yeah. I. Mean. We've been whistling past the graveyard for so long on a terrible analogy us right now, but you know with all this death there, I mean it, it's. I think. The dead would want us to laugh. You know it's the. It's the It's the tyrants who don't like the sound of laughter. So you know to go, we're going to live. We're GONNA fix this a lot of times that starts with laughter to not to sound dismissive of any of the horror that's going on around us but it it is an it's such state to state, but it's a release valve if you don't have that I, think people go insane. Yeah. That's what makes it so subversive actually also. One. Of the things. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. The the people in power, not crazy about comedy and laughter. But how? Okay. So earlier, in the show we were talking about how? The best you could do so far because of the pandemic regarding doing stand up was standing outside in your front yard. How has not being able to have that direct connection with audiences during the pandemic affected the COMEDIANS. I can't speak for other comedians for me. It's been pretty bad. I mean. I I I write. Ideas down in notebooks, but I don't flush them out until him in front of a crowd and they also don't. Flush them out to where I to be. Unless I'm hanging out with other comedians in in we all do shows together and then afterward related L. Hey, you can add to the end like I actually. This is so weird. I called a friend yesterday, this brilliant comedian named Todd. Glass and one of the last shows I did before the pandemic, he was a guest on it and I called him to tag joke that he had done I saw him do. I mean, I think five or six months ago. Just. So that I could go thought of little thing to add to your joke I. Hope you don't mind means like, no. No, you could tell that he had missed that to. Just comedians, trading ideas back and forth it was. It was like I needed a fix. So I called him up to give Metag tag for his joke. It was it was just insane like wheat I. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this is my. Thinking there are there are Gen Z. People that can see a way around it. I don't see a way that comedy works over zoom or comedy works over may not stand up comedy being podcasts are still there's amazing podcasts out there. You Know Comedy Bang, Bang and Anything. Like anything that Andy Daily does anything lower laptops does. Dave made that work. But but for me, I have to be in front of a crowd. I have to be, will you talked about in another interview that not having access to or not being able to perform it like comedy clubs etcetera that you're actually you were seeing a collapse, they're akin to what the collapse of the comedy clubs of the Eighties is that? Do I have that right? There was there was a boom. There was a huge boom in the eighties and then it was a collapse that collapsed. Led to stuff like people doing their own stuff and all comedy and rooms like the Largo in rooms like the embar and the stuff in New York like Fez, in the time cafe. So there was something good came out of that collapse. There's a collapse. Now I, think it's more economic that collapse came from. It was a glut of mediocrity and people got sick of it. So then the all stuff had to show rising right now, this is just you know the the clubs actually gotten. Really, amazing because they got taken over by the younger generation, they were booking way more interesting acts. So now, the clubs themselves are just simply struggling because there's not bodies in them. You know buying things. So we will see what comes hopefully, something good will come out of this right now I'm just I'm also I, I'm aware enough to admit that I don't see what would it could be. And I, hope I hope someone can prove me wrong. Please somebody, show me what, what missing because I. Need It. Yeah. Well, I to say even as as viewers watching. Comedians try to do the best work they can. On. Screens without. Even knowing that there's the energy of the live audience there. Even for television Comedians, it's a strange experiences as a viewer, right? If you like it's all your, we're trying to form a brand new different kind of relationship between audience and and the Comedians well, because the audience was part of the equation, they were part of the reaction because the how the audience reactor doesn't react changes the flow, the comedy. So when people are just putting stuff out into the I'm looking at a tiny little, you know lens on a laptop. I'm not shifting anything that I'm doing and there's something missing there. There's there's alchemy that's missing. You said that you that maybe people younger smarter than you will figure it out on always. They always to, but I was going to say that you've got to figure it out pretty well on twitter. Well Yeah I mean somewhat I mean twitter is its own. Four, my guests of. Writing Instruction stand up. Comedy and some people have really really mastered it I would say I'm pretty good at it. There's other people you know in my opinion people like. Just reckon, Michael Drucker and people like that. That are that are truly amazing with the form with the writing. And how they how they do things. But I adapted pretty well because I was always very rightfully. Anyway, I? Guess. So it can twitter is its own beast. is its own the someone? Just this morning speaking of Sarah. Cooper. Every time she puts a new video I retweeted because it's the best thing out there and. After watching I think Ben, Stiller Today said I watch this three times before realizing I'd watched it three times. When he tweeted it. And I just. I retrieved yes and just wrote clean over. Because a lot of times, I've learned on twitter. When you re tweet something, it actually gets it more of us. If you add a little comments like Oh, my God this is amazing. You know you quote tweeted and some. Woman I. I. Don't know her name, but she was like Our men just unable to re tweet something without adding comments. Like. Thank you, patriarchy. Mike. What? There's ways you can choose not like. Your God I'm I'm trying to say how brilliant I think this is I don't need you telling me how. So there's always those people that are just angry about. Speaking Mike Drucker tweeted I. think There's a few months ago. He's like twitter place where you could tweet like I like horses and your responses will be what about Z. Brits would about Your silence on hippos is very telling like Oh, my God. I was wrong with you. Your your version of the Patriarch has four point, six, million followers. I'm trying to amplify other voices of people like H. No. Thank you. Wait what? So. How Is your twitter who you are on twitter is that is that very similar to. Your your onstage comedy work because there's obviously a lot of there's a lot of politics on your twitter as well. Well, I mean. Yeah, I mean I. Don't do that much politics, my standup, but twitter is more about reacting to what's going on and there is so much absurdity that I think a lot of the Times. The reason that there's so much quote, unquote politics. My twitter is I'm almost doing sanity check with the rest of the world like, Hey, you guys are all saying this to right like I'm not. Going insane. Right now, I just want to check in to make sure that I saw I saw because. Also living in a reality where there are blatant videos and images of things that are happening in audio things are being said. And then immediately like that's not what you heard. That's not what you saw when you gotta go. No, I'm actually looking at this. This is this now this feels like A. Stanley milgram experiment that are being put through. So I need to check in and have someone told me. Yes, you also saw that. Wow, you're one of the I guess in a while that's gotten a milgram reference. Look Hey man, it's NPR. I know the audience ready. Go through a Graffman. They're gonNA throw a Shirley Jackson in there and you got a Garrett Kaiser boom. You're good. Well. It's not a, it's not a good NPR conversation unless we talk about people being told like, how how, how much voltage would you shock? You're a person on the other side of a screen. What what have actually that is. Exactly. Again MPR. Was Listen people are really responding to hearing you. We've got. We've got a cat view says, so talented carrying instill humble, thanks for all the laughs, Jessica, Gallagher Pile says, thank you for this patent. Well is a perfect disarming role model for widowers and widows everywhere. It's his openness about grief that brought me a widow to is comedy. It's his honesty that keeps me watching and listening. He is a gem and let's see here even more. Oh, how this Sam Ewing says does he think he knows who the Zodiac killer is? The Zodiac killer in this case if he wants to answer just yes or no, that's perfectly fine. No, I do not know that unfortunately, that's not my wheelhouse although Michelle reread Robert, Grossman book over and over again, that was one of her abiding. Obsessions. Was who's Zodiac and who's DB cooper she was. She was like I'm GonNa. Find out DVD Cooper is. So that was also made she. She was into crime. She knew all this up. She was the Jon. Benet. K. She was on all those message boards. She knew all the slang. So you know all that. That whole world she she knew that way better than I did. So I WANNA play one more clip here. I'm sorry. The Zodiac killer yeah. That's Ted Cruz six-month. Putting my serious journalist hat back here. I want to play one more clip here because this is actually a staff favorite. This is from NBC's Parks Recreation Yard. Garth. London. And you were determined to prevent. Leslie. No. Played by Amy Poehler from amending town? Charter. And you launched into a filibuster about stores and other things. Let's just quickly listen. Hand down. From the twin sons of tattooing, we are now close on the mouth of the Sarlak pit after a beat the gloved Mandel laurean armor gauntlet of Boba AFFEC- grabs onto the sand outside the Charlotte and the feared bounty hunter polls himself from the maw of the sand beasts. This isn't exactly and we realize that he survived his fall during the battle at joggers. Palace ship. Okay. So That's just twenty nine seconds of something that goes on for what he minutes is that. Right? Oh God. It was such A. They did not yell cut I was supposed to do is talk for ten seconds. They all said, don't. You'll cut how long ago the directors in the writers and so. Parks and REC is one of my favorite shows ever. It's one of my favorite shows. And I. So didn't want to embarrass myself or get fired or whatever. I didn't hear cut. So I just went going in apparently mine. You know the the the the classic fight or Flight Response Yes apparently, I have a third response, which is Trivia dump I just dumped every bit of nerd information in my head, and here's how brilliant Amy Poehler is. If you watch the whole eight minute clip, she I, she does that thing where she's trying to interject because she sees how crazy this is going to be. Then she starts to get into it a little bit when I say that layer is having an affair with Lando. She goes away to Middletown sick. And then she says this great line, which is the female characters a little underdeveloped, which so nails that whole comic book sci-fi World and when entertainment weekly did a poster of that pitch, they made a poster with every element of that is going GONNA come out. That was the tagline. Amy's brilliant rift tagline. She's such a genius. Well Patton Oswalt, of course, is the actor and comedian who can do an eight minute long trivia brain down. All they have to say his action. He's also executive producer of, I'll be gone in the dark, a six part, HBO Docu Series Patton. This has been such a pleasure to talk with you. Thank you so very much. Thank you from one parent to another during the pandemic stay. Strong. Bharti this is on point.

King Michelle Alice Patton oswalt Patton. oswalt Michelle McNamara HBO HBO executive producer twitter WanNa Amy Michele Liz Garvan Sarah Cooper Queens remmy Los Angeles Ratatouille Liz Garbis
Patton Oswalt Returns

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

1:12:22 hr | 7 months ago

Patton Oswalt Returns

"You. Believe! If made it weird with the home. I hope this episode finds you healthy and relatively sane I know it's a wild and crazy wet Steve Martin. It's a crazy time all all kidding aside. It's a crazy time. I hope you are saying. And I hope this wonderful conversation with Patton oswalt, the delightful, Patton oswalt, who's new special out now on that flex? Is a nice respite. And a nice break as it was for me to have some laughs and some connection, it's a little bit shorter. Than Usual episode because Patton was in the middle of a a press. I don't know what you want. Blitz oppress blitz, so he only had an hour for us. I think we went a little bit over which was fun and very sweet of him. But it's it short, but when you have a great guests like patent, we hit all. We got it all, and it's wonderful episode and I'm looking forward to you hearing it all episodes as usual or brought to you. Our Friends at Charlotte's Web Charlotte's Web dot com slash weird and Promo Code keep it crispy. Nineteen will get you ten percent off. I highly recommend. The calm. gummy is perfectly dosed, sweet, delicious gummy with CD in it from our friends at Charlotte's Web I got a few tweet, saying the link wasn't working I think it has been fixed, so please get some and show you support of the podcast speaking of showing your support of the podcast. We have a lot of Pete's picks on this episode including the one that's. That's been keeping me alive during the quarantine and getting the nutrition that it's hard for me to get as I. I don't know if you're like me, but I haven't been going to the grocery store. As much is coach Uva. CATAVA is a plant based born in the jungle superfood drink mix that is a loaded with nutrient rich superfoods that have been revered by tribal cultures for centuries. What I always point people to. If they want to try and eat more plant based, but they don't know where to start. Also a lot of people eat it because it's a good meal replacement keeping you full for four or five hours, which is completely true I can say for me personally you drink it. It's healthy. It's low calorie, and it keeps you full for a long time, so people see health benefits, obviously from that I drink it and love it and make smoothies with it and drink it on its own water, which is unbelievable that it's good enough that it's good in just water, because it gets me high from all the nutrition inside. It makes me feel fantastic as I said. said at one hundred percent plant based. You Get Omega. Threes from Chia seed flaxseed, eight super fruits are in the bag. Seventeen Greens and veggies are in the bag. It's got digestive support built in. There's no artificial sweeteners or preservatives. Gluten Free Soy free. There's twenty four grams of plant based protein and nine grams of fiber, but the kicker is. I've tried a lot of things like this. CATAVA is actually delicious. It tastes like a chocolate or vanilla. Depending on the flavor, you got milk shake. You can make it with almond, milk and frozen strawberries tastes like chocolate strawberry milkshake that CA- cow in there is a great mood elevator, the maca root, and they're wonderful for your vitality and for your energy. I'm BA I've been swearing by it. It's basically a meal and a pill, but better than that. It's got more nutrition in one serving than I fear. Most people are getting in a month, so try it show your support of the show. go to Catava. That's K. A. C. H., A. V., A. dot com slash weird, and you'll get twenty percents off your order. Speaking of super fruits, super fruits and superfoods I have been enjoying the benefits of Tahitian nonni juice for about a month. Now it's a little highlight of my day taking a four ounce shot of to heat known Ju I read the study from my friend David that four ounces twice a day. They did a pure. Forget how to say peer reviewed published and peer reviewed study of clinical double. Blind trials with placebo showed four ounces twice a day. Increases Your N, Que Cell Count, and as natural killer cells, these are the cells that help keep your immune system powerful by thirty percent, giving your body thirty percent more ammunition to stave off the nasties with the technical term. Stave off the NASTIES I. Like it because it's Tart. It's delicious tastes a little bit like pomegranate juice. It's got some blueberry in there. because I'm into superfoods, but that data was what really got me in was something that I knew I could do for my immune system. And keep me healthy and keep me active. It's something that I look forward to in the morning. It is I. TAKE IT IN CONJUNCTION WITH A. Supplement. That's the word I. Don't know. I'm so tired today. A supplement called cell defense also made by not new age self defense, which is clinically shown to help your body fight inflammation, so these two things together are super team, a super combo, usually at one liter bottle of to heat, known Jew and bottle of self defense would be one hundred bucks, but as a promo for this podcast. podcast you can get both for forty dollars. Do something great for your body. Feel better feel like you're doing something good and show your support of this podcast. Thank you to know any new age. The the landing page for that is known the and new age dot com slash weird forty Get it get some antioxidants. Get rid of harmful free radicals on that staff all that good stuff. On a not edible note. I'm pulling up my eight months. Is Mimi and these and it's mermaids. Walk around in my lounge pants by me on these or just in my Mimi undies. Leila always runs up to me. Points to the patterns. It's one of the things I really love about them. I heard about me undies from other podcasts and around my fortieth birthday, I was tired of just having. A scam gas, nasty, Holy ill-fitting underwear. I was like I'm a grown man. And now you're a grown woman. We both of us did a complete closet overhaul top to bottom all the UNDIES lounge pants, which is like Pajama Pants and the the boxer briefs, and I love them. They're the best fitting softest underwear I've ever own, and they have incredible fund patterns. Patterns like the Mermaids that I'm enjoying today, not only that, but if you buy now, this is really sweet. Miandi is making a fifty thousand dollar donation to both the it gets better project in observance of pride and black lives matter, so it's a wonderful company. It's a wonderful product if you want to do an overhaul and get the best fitting funnest. funnest and the softest micro modell fabric five times softer than cotton underwear that I've ever owned ankle. Your supported the podcast. Get yourself into symeonidis. Subscribe I, enjoy getting It's it's not free. You pay to subscribe, but I get a surprise pair of underwear and this month it was lounge pants in the mail I. Look Forward to it. Open it up. Up, a little present to myself or get some of the onesies, get the lounge pans. It's fantastic stuff and you'll show your support of the show. It's me these Emmy U.. N. D. I E. S. dot com slash weird. That's me UNDIES DOT com slash weird. Get fifteen percent off your first order, free shipping and one hundred percent satisfaction care on teed. Alright guys and check out Patton oswalt new, incredible, new hilarious special. He's one of the best. Try, apiece, pick hanging their love. One another love, everyone be kind. Watch the Mr Rogers highly recommend that you're going to hear me talking about this a lot on the show. I'm reading the good neighbor. It's Mr Rogers. Is biography fantastic stuff? Keep those vibrations high and and. Do what you can to be a positive change in the world I don't know I'm preaching in the Intro Asia just do that in between things. My guests are saying. All right. Guys enjoy my friend. The incredible Patton oswalt get into IT I. Get Your beautiful visage on this Oh away with sorry, hang on. Is, but we're just using the audio right. Yeah, we're not. We're not recording the video this. God because I am not. Look Great! Are you doing? Are you home or at your home? This is home this. Boy. Is this some sort of theater? I am all lender. I'M IN A. There's a couple of chairs in spare room and I kind of like the lighting so there you go I like it while you do look well. You look rested and healthy. Thank you, so, do you? How how? Are You a New Yorker. La Right now I'm in La. What part of La. We're not far from each other. I don't think unless you moved. I don't want to give, too. Much away, but I live in Los, villas no. I moved to studio city. That's one of those places that I pretend to know where it is I'm like Oh. Yeah, the valley, is it. Is. Yeah, it's. It's kind of in the valley. Yeah, what? What studio gives studio city its name? Is it near nearest studio? I think what it means. That's where a lot of studios worse and they just caught like. Oh, you're aware all the studios are you're in Studio City I think it was more of that kind of feel. When did you move? 'cause I always sort of enjoyed knowing that you lived in this little carmody commune your. And I lived over there. I loved living over there. I loved living in that area but I think I just wanted more More of family friendly VIBE. You know without any little older, so moved to studio city, which has become which has gotten very. Recurrent Los felices up. You know really. Great it doesn't take much. You just need a couple of Kinda. Nice restaurants in a movie theater, maybe little walkability. Yeah. Curve Very Nice. Yeah hang on. It's all good. This is one of those real podcasts. There's no flare. Your patent is is texting. This is our lives. This is modern life saying it's all like a million things going on How you doing my friend. No I WANNA. Know How you're doing. That's a good leader. What is what is your vibrate now? I can't get a read which is fine I like I I'm not saying seem weird. Weird. How are you right this moment? What's going on I? Mean my vibe is fine. It's at the point now where it's I I think there's a little frustration with doing so many interviews at this point in the the quarantine because it's all the same thing we're staying home in trying our best and just feels like a round robin of the same people saying the same things to each other. What to report, I don't I haven't had any new revelations. Except what we're all just staying home and doing the best, we can no I completely understand that I I'm not saying this is a gimmick for our say, first of all, we don't have to go two hours. I don't know if there's any dread when you do my show to be like. Oh, it's one of the long haul ones we can go, however long we want. I can only do an hour I'm sorry then. No Way I can do to. My my schedule today is insane. I Hate I. I'm sorry I wish they. Oh, DAMN! Sorry did not at all. It's I. In fact organically before I knew that said we don't have to go two hours, but you do feel you feel a little press mode and I I know that mode. And I typically I'm not. SAYING THIS TO BE WEIRD I'll turn down when people are like someone wants to do the show, and it's because they're doing press. It's the worst time to talk to somebody that we're just talking his friends. Oh Yeah Yeah. Let's. Be Honest. It's weird when you're on A. I like been doing interviews all morning, and it really has gotten like so what's going on Pat? And then I'm like I. Have What do you think is going on I? Have nothing to report I don't have anything like. It's happening because I'm trying my best not to go anywhere and make things bad for people, and then you see their frustration. It's like if I told you interesting stories. That would be mean than doing bad things. That were there were that are hurting people because I shouldn't be going out and shouldn't be doing things, so it would be very kind of yeary and disturbing if you're like. I, actually have a fresh anecdote. Love hugging strangers it. Now. I was actually talking about that was somebody. There have to be people. I almost don't even want to say this I. Don't want to put an idea. He said, but there have to be rascal assholes that are just going around freaking people out by getting too close on purpose like Zombie movies well, there are people that are doing the we'll I'm the I'm the cool bad boy because I'm not wearing a mask I am going out now like. For some reason that has become the the punk rock rebel thing to do is to go and. Risk other people's lives, which I didn't. I didn't think we'd ever get to that point, but here we are. Have you turned a corner recently and not known that somebody was coming at that corner, and you both have that sort of like. Like like Oh sorry I'm so sorry. I haven't done the turning the corner thing, but I have been going down like when we go for a walk around the neighborhood. Someone else will be approaching, and there's that weird little at a distance dance Who's GonNa Cross hit like I usually just immediately cross I just take the decision off their hands but yeah, there have been those I can. I can't imagine what it's like like walking around like Manhattan or San, Francisco or someplace where you know. I can't imagine what that must look like, but. For the most part I tried to do the okay, let's do you walk around Molds Felise I. Do I went on a little hike this morning and it's like playing. PACMAN and everybody's a ghost well. Big You're not because I can trails reclosed right? It's not a it's not an actual hike. Go up into the Franklin hills, so they're just so happen. He'll eat. Streets it's not a hike and I wear a mask and I do marvel at how many people aren't wearing masks. That's still happening quite a bit of chrome. I. Do you wear masking the car. Yeah. You know what I do just because in my mind, there's GonNa be some kind of emergency where. I may have to get out. Our someone will run up. I mean that's the other thing when I go out now I will be driving a few times if I had to go out to on like a mission. People are out there, driving and walking around like it's the purge I see people blowing through red lights. Is it was a guy a few nights ago I was I had to go get something for the house, and he was crossing like diagonally across four lanes of traffic like as if he just like walking meadow like there. Mike, they're still cars coming. Dude, there's like the laws still this I like. What do you think is going to happen? It was it was really scary. Yeah I can't help. Take it a little bit. I get a little offended if I see somebody and they quickly put on their mask I don't. I know it's what they should do, but they're still a part of me. That's like I'm wearing a mask I'm I'll I'm over here? I'm in the rules, but people like you still take it personally. A leper or something? Yeah, exactly let let's do the interview that is just I wanna be as your friend. The the breath of fresh air I'm not going to do the morning and go so patent. Do you really love everything? I? Did what I to say? Today with. which by the way podcasts are becoming more and more like morning radio I don't know this. I think about this all the time where we're taking something that was supposed to be this precious respite from like she go in the Gasman. And it's just become that so like let's let's do a nice proper. It seemed like you had a thought on that. Well I mean the the the two thoughts I had one being. I am getting that question of Blake. Count, what does it mean by? Obviously it's just. The irony of the title is the irony comedian understand immediately what what it is! Chelsea Peretti called I'm sorry to interrupt called her special one of the great one of the greats now so. that. You're all my fucking God. It's a title. It relates to nothing in the special. The title is a joke. It's a Gerald. You're the fact that you're trying to parse. It shows that you don't understand comedy, and you're not a comedian. That's right. That's right. Yeah, we're not doing that. And then I also said podcasts are turning into morning radio which. which which always breaks my heart a little bit but we're not GONNA do that. We're not doing, but also I wonder about these morning. Radio shows they tried to do that. It's a party every morning at six am and now you can't do that anymore because it's not a Goddamn party. Yeah, You know what I mean, so you'll for sure. So. That shit doesn't work. That's right, and that's where this podcast fits right in the niche. We've always been like a more somber. Like real like like my dinner with Andre Podcast so we're. We're thriving I understand wanting to. Be Positive in happy but. It it's like no just acknowledge. Whatever's actually going on because people that are trying to do that fake Kinda. It's just a good old crazy time that to me is more distressing. It sounds crazy. Of course, in fact, that is the thing that I love most about being a comedian is. We are the group that has going I'm uncomfortable with this level of enthusiasm. Yeah, you know what I mean. That's why like. I went through a big Tony Robbins phase there was. Let's not even get boring about that. For a moment I watched his documentary I am not your Guru. And it showed the seminars and I was like everything I am could never be there like now in a room. Jumping to the beat of tonight's GonNa be good night. I would find someone with your face. Your comedian face and go is going to be a good night. I need it. That's our oxygen. And this is one of the reasons I was excited to talk to you today. Just because I was like I. Find That wasn't one of the things I missing not to make it about the quarantine, but missing the Green Room, even more missing the back room at Largo I missing the the. Comedy store, and just that thing that I used to kind of. Add minimize that. Do it like I'd be like. Oh, I'm not going to hang for too long now. I wish I could just hang for nine hours well I mean that's part of what we do. Is is the hang and so much of what we do creatively comes from the hang. you know I. It's that it's that bouncing back and forth off by the creative people in now I mean I tried to zoom meetings with friends, and you know tax stuff back and forth, but it's not the same, and I really really miss it I. Really Really Miss it and the way that our jobs feed. Our social need is really showing me that I'm I in this time. I don't really know how to be a friend. Like the way that people are friends that they make plans and they're like I'll see you for coffee on Wednesday or go to. Yoga class together I never. Never had to do that because I'd go to a club and I would see in an hour. Twenty five people that I'm excited to see yes, and would get it out of the way, and now that I'm on my own I'm like. Is it weird to say? Do you WanNa talk on the phone I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah, and also there's that there's that stuff of like. Yes, seeing everyone it at the same time and kind of talking, but then there's like eight or nine people you WanNa talk to you, but disputed doctrine the day after like the third or fourth person like I. Don't want to talk to run right now. What and also those times when you? Talk just one on one over zoom in a dozen It just feels even more training then stimulating because you're on this weird delay that then after a while I don't WanNa I. Don't WanNa. Talk to anyone in delivery system. I hate talking on the phone. Everybody that listens to this podcast I. Hate talking on the phone I. Don't know what they're doing. I don't know what the cues are. It's almost like Ashby. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing on the phone I'm talking to. To nothing I'm just talking to a disembodied voice. I don't like it i. like seeing people at a club. And here I heard you saying something very interesting to Kevin. Nealon on hiking with Kevin. You're talking about all comedy club comedy something new. We've talked about and something I, know people burden you with kind of explaining a lot offset that, so that's not what I'm doing, but you said something very interesting. You talked about it being about. The expectation. At a club is you go weapon? It's like it's clever. Guy You're the audience like everything sort of assumed and given so what you're saying about these hangs that used to happen organically at a cab, and naturally it's like zoom hangs are sort of like well. We're going to hang now and it ruins the mood. Everyone lose I. Lose my social erection by going. I'll talk to you at noon. It's just like. I just yeah exactly when it's all scheduled like that and there isn't this. Organic Fun It's just a bummer it really is. It doesn't energize you. It doesn't replenish you. Yes, it's just not fun. It's not natural I'm blanking on his name. What is it? oh, I can't believe that Irish comedian David. David Door. You Sit. He has this great song where he talks about. The best drunks of your life are always like unexpected like you've got drunk at a lunch when you. Land and Jimmy Kimmel. My life on this podcast. He said to me if it's in the calendar, I don't WanNa do it. This is the kind of animals I think we are. Our lives are like you have to be funny at eight o'clock on Friday, we'll take that. That's the burden will carry, but I'd like everything else in my life to be as natural and organic and flow e as possible, or it's not fun. No it really, isn't it? It's A. It's a huge bummer if everything is. I mean obviously yeah, you should schedule some things, but if you're done, is scheduled after a while. It's not fun right valid. I joked to each other. Whenever we're laughing. Really Hard, we go try to laugh once a day. A middle of our laugh. We'll go. Try to laugh. Was it a and whenever I see like? Like have that little placard in their room? Just like something's wrong like if you need to remember something like there needs to be a bigger overhaul of your life that we need to be half. A Lot. You said that on Conan's guess. If you can mock it, you can manage it I really well. I was quoting. You. It was well now. That was talk glass. Glass, said that, so, but yeah that whole You have to if everything is deadly serious. Than everything is draining and there's there's nothing replenishing you after a while. So. Let's let's have some silly Chad so. You can have a break that'll be as if to. Everybody knows just your name popping up in the feed. He's got a special. You're one of the best comedians it's ever lived. We're GONNA, Watch. Let's get it the fuck out of the way. We're actually one of the comic said I did a little guest bottom show at a festival, and maybe we talked about this last time he did it. You know old wrath, our manager. He added probably hooked it up and you're the first guy that I saw that I was like first of all. You were doing these bits that had about a billion words and. I I hate to sound like such a Schmuck, but I was like. How is he remembering this? I know that's what idiots Seda actors like. It's a bad comp I. Remember where. You were saying these like flourishes, these like rapid fire gatling gun, it might have been the KFC bowl or or one of these classic sort of encore bits, and there was like how there's like a landmine, every three stabbed two steps and the crowd going and you're the first comedian that I saw. And this is real. That had established that report with an audience where they were yelling out bits and they and you. You took questions like I was just like what the fuck is going on here and I was like I. Want that not for the pride of it, but I want to I. Want to have that sort of rapport with the crowd where they can. Do Campsie Bowl, and then they were like talk about somebody who just like talk about ready to and you did it, and it was funny, and they loved it I was like it's not. This is the great compliment I think that you've achieved. It's not your new our. It's like patents. Come by here. He Oh, man, what he's here. We're not worried about it. We know will like it he he came over and he's our friend and we like it. Yeah I mean that comes from the the the memorizing. All of this text comes from the fact that I don't really sit down and write my bits I get up and work them out in front of an audience. It's almost like somebody from a tribe learning something. It's almost like oral tradition, so it's almost like learning a song I guess I mean I totally know lack of a better way to phrase it, so bax how I can! Seemingly memorize it just from night after night of just finding exactly the right way to have it all out of my head. That's right now, and that's a very very which also right now is making. Things feel very dire for me. Because I can't go into the clubs and workout material the way that I work it out, which is to do it me to live in front of people, and it's really It's really worrisome to me right now. There's going to be a time when we're back out touring. Who knows what it is but I? I hope to let's be. Let's let's be. You know I'm being bothered him. Sorry I know I'm with you, we can. We can have some salty sweet here but like. If there is. Which I think there will be I'm going to have to watch the video of this new our I'm doing and go like I'll be watching me going. How is he remembering these words? Because yes, I haven't Sung that song in a long time. Yes, exactly gonNA need to like. How do I get that group academic? How do I? I also I also wonder I. Honestly wonder if there's going to be moments where. People like us. The very first few times go on stage were just punchy from not having interacted with anybody. Is that going to affect things, but like will that literally will use see weird? Some early performances of Comedians Scott, who is calling me hang on, sorry is probably Dave wrath now it's not. Who is? Like Oh, this guy clearly hasn't. Had a chance to talk to people in a while, and he's a little things are a little shaky forum. You know that feeling going to be fascinating to see. There's another family that we're very close with, and they're super super careful because their daughters immuno-compromised, so we went and visited them. We kept a distance and stuff, but we went and visited them and I remember at a certain point. One of them, actually, they actually had a third person. They're not important because I didn't know them and they were talking. And they said something like something like a real catch up. Guy Or something, and I just like didn't know what the fuck to say like I forgot the skill of how to talk to someone. Who's telling you that they're a ketchup guy and. My heart broke. I went. We have to do this again like I. Don't Miss You. Miss going like yeah man mustards a bit much. It's a bit much i. want something sweet like I just didn't have it. We've been Thank like you forgot how to fill finances the trade so my advice when we start whatever the next phase is, go slow like breaking a fast or something, yeah! Cakes. No, no, you'll, you'll mess up your. Wow, that's a good way to put it. Yeah, like come out of this slowly. Don't run people at ninety miles an hour. Just because everyone's happy to be out 'cause then you might feel like. Were we never that I? Think a lot of people are gonNA falsely think their friendships that mean anything because the first. Few conversations with the awkward, but it's like no. No, you guys haven't talked to human being Nejad. Yourselves Dude I was like. Where do I look? I literally was like. Is this the right amount of icon? I don't know where to look I'm hanging out with the baby and my wife and. I started talking to them and I was like am I being a creep. I. Is like that's when we get on stage I did stand up once stone. It was it was a mistake. It was a Denver I. Took a sip of a of a we'd drink and I was like it's a we drink. How strong could it be? And I drank it, and I got sky high, and I remember being on stage, and it was like performing for ORCs. They weren't malicious, but it was just kind of like. But it was like what the fuck are they laughing at and? Edibles always hit you in the. Way. In unexpected ways where you like like you just said it's a drink. How bad can it be and then? Oh, no, yes. Yes. I would have been better to smoking something. I was I went to go ahead. I'll tell you really bad at obligatory. Wait for this edibles story. Space Amsterdam story keep going. Well I went to I was performing in Amsterdam for a week and. I went to a coffee shop called. Lucky mothers that they've across told me to go to. It's one of the last ones that still did edibles. And I bought a reason. This was in the late nineties. They stopped doing edibles I think for a while. Yeah, they did I mean they still you can go to as, but they didn't do edibles the way that they used to okay and so I went in there and I got a snickers bar they went will. We can put an knickers bar for you. Know that you're supposed to take a couple of bites, and like it lasts you the week I walked right into ate the whole snickers bar. And then. And I went onstage and here's what was weird. I could speak perfectly fine. I could formed perfectly fine I could not physically open my eyes. Oh, my God, I could not. It was almost like all. Off here's what I. Here's what I think what happened. I feel like? After the fact, my brain went all right. Do you need to be articulate to be able to speak quickly? Then you then? We can't have your eyes open. I can only do a couple of things so the starship enterprise. Yes, it was. All the power into shields shutdown communications like it was literally. My body was a starship compensating and I did my. My eyes closed and I was very open about. Eighty six bar and the crowd was oh a typical American like they had apparently seen allot yes. Americans went, it was my first time. Amsterdam Sonic. We'll be. And they were like Oh yeah. They're Harry goes and somebody was like that's a Mitch Hedberg bit. Yes. Yes exactly exactly what it was I. I went with my girlfriend at the time and we ate space cake. It's a very short story and we went and saw boom Chicago, which was the Improv Show Oh? Yeah, Oh, yeah, that's right. And I thought it would be fun, but it was scary like everyone was laughing was again the ORCS. And I was one of the ORCS which you know. One of the ORCs in the ORCs is the org that's like. Are we really working this right now, are we? Is this about? Still? We just like kind of eat things and Vade, and that's ocher. Because I mean guys look I. Mean Look at the elves look at them. It's. Is it impossible for us to do that? 'cause it's like an apple store in the tree. We could be doing that. We could totally like. How are we not doing that like just? Doing it out of spite like what's wrong with us, why do we? Why are we doing this and we're all up two weeks old. I mean it's not too late to change. With red, we're bread fully grown football players with weird blackout skin I. Think we need to think about that's that is man. If I didn't WANNA. Put on all that makeup with you. We could do a great the to works that are like that would be great get. Look I know our our skins, really weird and we're. So. Our skulls look weird. We gotta just act like ask olds. Why are we here? We get out of it. What are we getting? Aren't we're just living in mud like what the fuck? I don't want to drink fermented blood. Is that we're, is that. Have you had sprite? Weekend. String the string right right Sir ferries exactly. Doesn't seem to be that hard to have a nice life guys, I mean it's bigger than the one or A sense of aesthetics. That's it. We can't just put a tablecloth now. That's impossible or you realize what this is. It's Orca to. or It's Orca to. Remedy. That's like. There's better stuff. It's right Oh my God. That's right who? You the remmy or that's why it has to be you. That is perfect. This is how the sketch is just by US talking about it, I think half of I mean it is amazing to see how some people are adapting, and at how new stars are being minted that? Sarah Cooper doing the lip synching the trump soundbites is fantastic is absolutely capturing the absurdity of these times. And you know so people just having to adjust like well. We can't go in the clubs. How can I do really cool? You know who's been doing really amazing stuff Kevin James on his youtube channel. If you've been watching the little short videos, he makes no, my God. He does these. It's this sound man character like doing the sound. The boom mic famous movie, so he has himself. Like when Darth Vader is going I. Am your father and he's like what? Really really brilliant, and they're all like a minute long and they're. They're perfect. That is right now and people that listen to this podcast. We'll tell you I find sound booth humor and The drummer that doesn't know that they were gonNA play that Song I. It's confused. You have to keep drumming while you're. emoting confusion is exactly what I find funny, so a guy with a boom mic that can't. Can't express. Excitement is exactly what? FAULK! Of I love the real life videos of there's a bunch of them of the drummer who doesn't understand what the GIG is like. They're doing some like his party but roaming. In mastodon, doing these huge metal flourishes. Like what are you doing? Where do you think you are right now? We're like we're literally playing outdoors. A Kid's birthday party and you're nuts. His lambing the skins right now like. On what happened in your life? And you? Something like that's a great movie. If we know that that guy just went through a break up, and now he's young kids. Party like that's a satisfying cinematic moment where you're like. Yeah is funny and we know and they don't know it's hitchcock. It's are comedy. We know there was a bomb under the table Yes exactly so the audience to bomb. Don't show the characters. Yes, I love that so much that kills me I got it. I was actually thinking about that I was like people aren't gonNA stop creating. It's sort of like we're. We're all grounded like the the parents of the Earth have grounded us and that can. A really fruitful time like when we were kids. I attribute a lot of my talent development of mitalent. To being very bored as a kid, yes, and finding ways to battle, boredom is the root of so much comedy. That's right I think. Comedy I think my Gi Joe I played with Gi joes until I was eighteen and the only reason I stopped. Who is because people are making fun of me I wanted to keep like I. Know you're everyone's like. Oh, patent, sorta like the nerd guy, or whatever Poe seines the nerve I was like. I fuck in loved the secret world of Toys and action figures and I didn't understand. Now we have open world video games. It's the same fucking thing. It's just like socially acceptable I'm like fuck you. I was right. There are still some Dusen. Cobra commander. Because I like Bubis now I can't play with Stroh like it's like. I mean the guy that Compaq artist Todd McFarlane yet he started a multibillion dollar action figure empire solely from his disatisfaction as a kid for why can't action figures be cooler and had more cool stuff on them, and he basically is a good Jillian air because of that frustration. He's the guy that did I. Want multiple articulated action figures with. It's going to do stuff and armor. Armor the comes up or like a figure where the the costume is damaged because they've been in battle like all the stuff that we used to have to do manually. That's right figures like we got to cut spider-man's because he was just fighting with the Lizard Man. That's you're. Trying to take Cobra commander's mask off. I was always trying. I got the one with the hood so I could try and lift it off. But of course they thought of that. You can't do it. Because there were some action figures like yeah, you can't see what snake eyes. Cobra commander looks like the action figure company just fucking made it where you could see the face, and you could take the mask off. You're like no, that's not how this works. Filled had snow. That's he remembered that and it's like okay I'm going to I remember that experience and I'm going to respect that when I do this again, so he made it, so you couldn't remove an NCO. You cannot remove. Off No, I don't. Think. We've seen spun haven't seen. Actually spun. You can take off but Cobra commander in snake is you can't I had a friend? My and this is why A. I don't have to tell you this, but like you're such a you feel such a gap in the in the casting vocabulary in the in the world like we've all known a you and I hope you know that complement and the patent that I went to high school with that was the guy in the in the nerd. It was the math cafeteria where I. Yeah I mean he was like he told me about these Japanese action figures that I if I had them. This is no bullshit I would play with them because they had these hands that held guns, but they could interchange with actors, and this is the most important thing and I'm so excited, so not gonNA apologize that we're talking about this for so long as I am coming to life remembering this heap, bad armor that every piece of it could come off their armor their chest. Chest armor they're back arm or their leg armor so when you're fighting, you had a way of gauging how they're doing you. Had You had health bars? Basically this Guy Uae? He has no armor left, and they were awesome, and I swear to God when I'm writing a script or breaking story that skill that my I still mad at my daddy gave away my Ninja Turtles because I think that was his way of being like. You're too old for that. He gave them away and I'm. I'm doing this kid a favor. I'm still mad about it because I'm like dude like come on. Folks. Like modern parenting I feel like is so much more evolved because my dad was. Passed but like this this like how old is your daughter now? She's eleven. She is now eleven, so the idea of like looking at your daughter as I imagined. You do as a plant, you wanna like fostered and let it grow and encourage. It is a modern idea. How the fuck this happen well going. He likes action figures baseball. It's like exactly well. You know what else is a modern thing. Though is US remembering and. And just like growing a plan. You don't want to put a plant in a pot. That doesn't belong in that restricts its growth, and so just like remember a parents going used to be into sports. You know I am into science, fiction and complex, but I don't do I. Don't put that on my daughter with Jack Mentality of. You're GonNa Watch Star Wars. You're going to like I am going to let her develop in any direction. She wants that's. So I'm not going to. You'RE GONNA. Sit Down and you're going to. You know that I'm not doing that with with the nerd stuff. I've I've said this a million, but I'm going to say to you because I'd love to hear what you think about it. It always breaks my heart. I have a lot of baggage. This is Pete stuff. This is not for everybody. This is for Pete Pete has issues in this area, so I don't want my baby wearing a red sox jersey like really bothers me when people like you gotta put her in the teams put her in writing or teams and like my teams to quote. Christian Finnegan like those were the bully is the people that were those hats and those colors were mean demet. But I'm right there with you I'm not gonNA. Put her in a fucking Simpson's shirt either. I colors. I mean it is very very heartwarming. When you see Heron's a comic con with kids who are really into it misses their world, and they're taking them to do so, but then you will see a parent that is so clearly dragging a kid there and it's for. The parent has nothing to do with the kid. Other interests and the parent is like too bad. This is my thing and you're coming with me and the kid is a Lotta. Times I remember. you know and I'm not putting down autograph collecting of that Your Hobby. That's perfectly fine, but I've been places where an autograph collector has been waiting somewhere clearly for hours with a kid. On a week and it especially on Saturday. That was that kid Saturday and drag him into your hobby. That means nothing to him or her. They're going to remember that. Was that was like? I have a limited number of Saturday's. That's right thought. Hey, it's You get to hang out with me and wait for this. Celebrity that you don't know who is and you don't give a shit about. You should have annual. You're GONNA see Daddy. Get an autograph. That was. My brother is an autograph collectors, I, that that's personal and I hear that we the respect and the love, yes. No but I. Have Hobbies, but you cannot force your hobbies when your kids. Weren't convenience I I'm was antiques and Rockefeller Mansions. I always used to just have to slog through these now by valid I watched sensibility recently, and I was like. Oh, I would love to go to one of these mansions. Imagine the conversations. MC closed and the candles, and the smells and what it was like Oh, and this is the servants, but as a kid. All I thought was what if they're in inches here? Like? Where would they hide where they roof and and I'm totally with you? She's GonNa have her own stuff and I sort of that sort of absolutely can't wait to see what it is. Even if it is completely the opposite of what about yes, I love that. Here's something you brought up on the Conan podcast that you didn't. You didn't address to my satisfaction. What what is your favorite sugar cereal? Because you guys talked about it, but you never got to it. I'm also a sugared cereal. Yeah, I love my favorite if I wanNA, have a junky cereal. It's a toss up for me between. Lucky charms because I can fool myself. That I'm still having slightly healthy, even though even though the wheat things are are covered in sugar glaze. It's a frosted. Cheerio, which is. It's like when you realize. The Ninja Turtle Cereal was just frosted checks with marshmallows. I don't know if you're but it's like ballet. There's only seven moves, and they're not just a lot of a lot of the novelty cereals, the Mr, T. Cereal Itchen, crunching a different shape that was Mr Tall. It is which we all wanted because it was on. Do you remember we AIN'T NO MR? Pool? Anytime there was like a limited edition novelty cereal. It's Dave taken captain crunch. Put it in a different shape, or they took a big swing. There was one called morning funnies. It had I know it lasted for a month. I was probably a trial market and they went big. They went like fruit flavors. You've never tasted and it was like even as a kid I was like. Is this medicinal like is this? Is this vaccine like what is happening, so. Between lucky charms and what? Oh corn POPs formerly sugar corn POPs. Now. Corn POPs just it just so goddamn delicious. Yeah, it's kind of like. buttered popcorn kind of not I. Don't know it's just goddamn delicious and I love it I'm Gonna I'm GonNa create a term that has a big texture spectrum to the cereal you're eating at the beginning is very different from the cereal. You're eating at the end and it's great the whole time. Oh well. Yeah, there was that whole. It was that whole thing of the the cereal that would change the flavor of the milk at the end. So you have an extra opponents. They sell that at milk bar which is in our neighborhood. I don't know if you hell yeah. In well, that started in New York the nasty real is cream. Incredible I think I'm a different I'm must have a different palette than you because you can't beat cinnamon toast crunch for me. Even though I always try, I'll get toast crunch Nile. Get stoned and we'll back in the day we'll go to the grocery store and get like three and do a taste test. And then like a real grownup I have to throw them away or I'll eat the whole box. And it's always reese's peanut butter puffs, which is phenomenal cinnamon toast crunch. Wins. It doesn't matter it's so good. Okay. You wouldn't expect Chris picks to be good, but it's really good. Chris is Great. The cinnamon toast crunch and the the racist peanut butter. It's too much. Much for breakfast like I i. think that's our age difference I think. Centered in because you were at the age, where pops are sugar pops was like the crazy new kid and cinnamon toast crunch was a crazy new kid for me, but it was too crazy for you. It was yeah. It's just. There is something. I don't know what to it just. It's one step too far. Really know now. I'm just now I'm basically they? They didn't hide the fact that they just basically crumble a candy bar doable when I'm eating like I can't. It's like Seinfeld's bit cookie krispies like. Why didn't they just call this to hell with everything? That kind of is what it is. I just I'm done I. Don't that's right I was screaming not really, but listen to you talking to Conan, which was so funny and so great I kept going like you guys. Men in their forties can eat cereal if you look at it as a as a dessert like yes. Anyway. Hello! A hell was that. Here. That fighter jet just went over my house. Wow that was and now you're in Los beliefs right. And it's heading. Let's see which way am I facing setting north northwest. You. Didn't like Buzz Your House. I would call that a buzz that was close right like if my bowels shifted from on-deck to on like at back yeah. I think that was a buzzing. Wow. Scary I did not care for that. Makes My God, what were you asking me my God i? Did that really threw me for a second? I don't know that was suddenly. Sugar cereals don't seem that important. Dude I spent a semester in Israel, and it was after the Anti Fatah had begun, and all that sorta Stout Roy other doing those dumb jet flying's Katie, just me. It's. Jet Fly for morale unless they're sprinkling of vaccine. It's not working. So I love again it that it's done with such good intentions, but it's like we are openly. Earning away money that could be being spent for like frontline workers people that are out of their daughter. No, we're just GONNA fly jets, and it were openly not helping anybody. You WanNa. Know something that I wish. I didn't know what they fighter. Jets are left running all the time. Fleets A fighter jets I'm pretty sure I mean. Please tweet at me I'd like to be corrected if this isn't true, but if there's like an aircraft carrier, the jets are running. Because if there's a situation where you need them, you can't have the the starting up time. It needs to be all ago, so but then do today. Do they have to keep feeding fuel into at them because that's? Like crazy. That's that's what it is. It's like it's like a real sergeant patent. Sort of of course you've got to keep them running chewing on a cigar like an and I'm over here I. Get they cut down the tree on my street and I get sad and I'm like there's a hose blasting fuel premium jet fuel it by I to go look that up, but yeah I gotTA. Go confirm that because that sounds so crazy. Okay sounds crazy I now I now I hope it's not true, and if you find out, it's not true. Please text me Yeah, we only have fifteen minutes. Let's do a speed round I really love you. I'm just happy to get the word out about especially on. Thank, thanks, man, thank you, of course yeah, real fast Do you want to tell you I kiss or your virginity story. Guide. I'm like we only have a minute. Tell me how you your I guess. I really must have great. I guess story now I was. Not Really I was. I was at Church I was at a church camp. I went to this camp. Camp Hellas called. It was some with some Catholic. Church camp out in the middle of the Virginia Woods or something and role. In the girls tent named. Paula we read a campfire and I was just telling jokes, and just out of would no preamble or anything. She just kissed me because I was because I was making her laugh. Was a nice little nod of like do this because that is what that's what's going to work for you? That is wonderful and short. I mean everyone. Listening must be laughing that I wait for the last ten minutes to be like telling me a story and you. Did you told it in four lines? It's informative. I told it. No, thank you. That would happen that that's exactly what happened. I had a better story, but that's that's how it went down. What this I asked this shout out to Paula last name. I'm just getting. You thought about it. I did I got I can't remember poundstone. I think she said she had aged out of me that point. Wait wait, don't kiss me. I asked this to Louis. Black and he had the best answer. That's not to put pressure on you, but it made me realize I have to ask everybody else. Okay, and it's pretty broad. Something in your life that you can't explain like seeing. Go seeing a UFO, even if it was just like mine is dumb like when I used to fall asleep in my appearance, Bet I swear. The dead cat used to jump up on the bed and I could. Happen every single time, so it doesn't have to be sensational, but is there something in your life? His was meditating. He got the extreme sensation that he was in the sky. It was incredible story, but is there something? Have you seen a? UFO, have you? Have you seen an apparition? Now I here's what's weird I would very much like to encounter either the supernatural paranormal or the crypto zoological I'd love to see a Lake Monte stride, love to see an apparition, or or experience lost time or a time slip. I've never had that happened, but I know people and I'm very very close to people who have had very very profound. A paranormal experience, so it seems like I'm the guy that carries their stories so I had a My my when my dad was a test pilot. Outed L. Toro one time. I was like a little little kid. He didn't tell me this way older. He was out flying around down near, Anaheim and he and his squad saw some UFO's some no Shetty, McLean and my dad. The way he described goes. It looked like a circular cage like a lattice work of metal, and in the middle of this circular cage was glowing ball of energy, and they were racing along beside of us. They weren't making any sounds, and they weren't giving off any kind of turbulence very very close to us for like two or three of them, and then they just like turned and zipped away like an like at a classic like turning in a way that you couldn't turn at that level of Gi Dangle. Some crazy, and so he got down and said. He was told his base commander like Hey, our squad encountered these and he. We saw some UFO's up there in. His squad commander said that they look like metal cages with like light bulbs in them. No, he went Yeah, that's exactly to work, recuse. Yeah, we'll write that down. and. That's all he said about it like. Other people had clearly been seeing these Patton and he either said it in a way like that's something we're testing you should. You should pretend that you didn't see it or a lot of people have been seeing them, and we're just going to keep note of it, but it was just weird that the way that he was asked that question afterward is what always stuck with me. How the commander already knew what he was going to tell him, he saw. That's very very weird and I also had. My uncle, who suffered from schizophrenia but when he was very very young before the schizophrenia kind of you know. Manifest when he was a teenager, he was an ultra light. My Mom's all her relatives were Catholic and His He had a one of the priests in the parish went away to go. Help some kid in the mid West. Who was like? Sick or something, and then came back then immediately like quit. The priesthood like was done, and apparently that was the priest. Who did the exorcism that actually inspired the movie, the exorcist he was a Washington DC area priest who went to the mid West. There was some kid who was they thought possess probably also schizophrenic. But whatever he went through to cure the kid, he then came back and said I quit the priesthood. So that weird connection to. Slow but I myself and I'm I'm very open to it. I'm very open to encountering a ghost anything. I've never had it happened. Ever I I WANNA. Say this with full respect, and we can even edit this out if you don't WanNa. Talk about it, but with your wife passing. How is that relationship and I I? Don't WANNA sound cheap here I'm just wondering. How does she manifest in your life now and not in a super bowl. But how? This? She definitely manifests in our daughter I. See so many things that she. Put into. By birth, and then also by what she taught, Alison. How you know so so there's always a part of her that Ciller, and then also she manifested me. There was a lot about me that she made just a better person I was kind of. lost when I met her, and she kinda straighten me out. And then I was wounded after I lost her, and in Meredith came along and. Healed me in straight me out even more and really like the people in your life that you know the the the person that you want to fall in love with is the person that you can constantly evolve with, and is there to cheer you on while you were ball like that's what you want. Your Life and I've been very fortunate to have encountered to people like that, and that's what. Ultimately wished for everyone is someone that you never feel like you're trapped with, or you never feel like you have to be who you are not with yeah yeah. That both of those deficits which you never would've asked for. Created the space for this new. Yes, new healing, yes! This level of existence that I didn't think was possible and then. Married seems to to live on effortlessly, so it's constantly astounding to encounter that with her. Yeah, wow, that is beautiful. Once years question and this'll be the final question. Thank you though that that really spoke to my heart. Thanks, man, What is the hardest time you've laugh I think when you did the show. You were gracious to come on You were one of the reasons that the show became popular so thankful and here you are coming on a popular show. They you're part of. so I don't think I was asking this the hardest time you've laughed and it could be when you were a kid. I always like to remind people that it could just be something stupid. I could be a Fart. It could be someone falling, or it could be a movie. It doesn't matter. There's no wrong answer, but if you're laughing so hard, you're crying. who were you with? When when when is it that sort of stuff? mine was definitely I was in San Francisco for a friend's wedding. Which is going to happen on a Saturday and me and Brian postseason got to the day before with Rachel friend. We went that night to the punch line to see Dave attell. And he had a line that are not going to repeat. So funny. That I the expression you I fell out of my chair, laughing. I actually pitch forward so hard laughing. I was on a Barstool. No turned around looking at this stage than I fell off and. Kind of get back up. And then he kept hammering the bits, and then I started laughing so much both Brian back maybe this he and I had to leave the club per second into stand outside in the open. Out of the punchline and just get back, we were laughing so hard I was laughing so hard. I thought I was GONNA throw up. He said on stage it was eight. Yeah, he said this one joke, and then he kept following it up with all these little like throw away. Pepperell remarks picked up. So it, just it, it turned into An. I just could not get my. Goddamn. Breath in I could not get my breath back and then something like that happened recently where? I was doing my pat and I was wanting print show at Largo and todd glass was guessing he ended his set with a bit. That was so. Funny the bit itself was funny, but then imagining I a lot of times when Comedians comedians BITs. You'll extrapolate the bit in your head. like liquid over. They said you will keep an eye just kept running with what the implications today. Now, and I was laughing so hard. He ended on that and then when thank you so I, had to go back out. because. I was I also host my own show, and I could the first five minutes of my set I just couldn't get my should there. I was just standing there laughing. Closing bit that he did war I can't. Even I can't even do addresses because there's a sound Q. in it, but. My God I. It was one of the funniest ideas and concepts I've ever seen it made. So, fucking hard Oh. My God and I couldn't get I couldn't get it together but I was like I was so. Comfortable in not having it together. that. Would also we were recently shooting an episode of AP Bio and there's a scene where the janitor. Played by one of the writers Co and I'm blanking on his name right now. I'm so embarrassed. David. David o'doherty. Yeah. But he comes into confront He comes into confront. Glenn Howard Tan and he. He walks into the room all all standing there and he just says. He, his line is hey, buddy. What's your problem but the way? He says it. We had to do I think we did eleven takes of just him coming in and going. Hey, buddy, what's your problem because? Laughing and then it became narrower laughing. At the fact, it's going this long. Like it isn't even joke anymore. It's the fact that Holy Shit Wiser taking us this many tastes. It was like there were a couple I. think around take eight or nine. There was that it was an unspoken moment of panic of. Are we just not going to do this? Saint like maybe can't do this. is what if we can't do. It would show and he wasn't even saying joke. It was the way that he says hey. Buddy, what your problem only I just thinking of it now and then once we all decided. It was funny then we couldn't. Wouldn't get through it and it was sane. It's funny that you mentioned that cause. Val and I sometimes watch show like the leftovers was dark show so before we go to bed. Did you watch the leftovers? You know what I watched. The first season and I loved watchmen so much I just restarted watching the leftovers from season one because I couldn't for some reason I didn't stick with it. And now I WANNA I wanNA watch him all the way through. I well get let me give you this one bit because remember in in the leftovers. This is just for you. This is just for us in the leftovers. Leftovers there's the people in all white and their job. Their occult and they WanNa make everyone remember that five percent of the population vanished. Yeah, that's an doubt as the leader up right? That's right. Yeah, and my the way that we would keep the show light with Valerie, and this is actually won the hardest times I've laughed is we do Seinfeld in the world of the leftovers going who has forgetting? Secret who is forgetting that five percent. My uncle is God. You think you need to dress up and white and sabotage me with pranks. is forgetting and I mean. Once, we uncovered that the show became thirty percent of combination whenever it got too heavy would just go. Who is forgetting? One of the little jokes in my group of comedian friends whenever we watch like a serious movie where there's like some dark ceremony about to happen or some meeting, one of the running jokes we have is GonNa go. But I the comedy blink. Wayne has to go up somehow and we'll do that in like. Watching like the warriors and like before. Cyrus gets up to address all the gangs, and it's always badly recorded like what I the comedy of blamed. Men He has to go up and and whatever. will go like he'll Amigo hey and we're. Recurring thing, but for some reason he keeps getting in east events. And that happens by the way I did a Gig not long ago where the opener was a forty I swear, it was a forty five minute video about homelessness, and it had all these very heartbreaking like people that are sick and people that are and then they win ladies and Gentlemen Pete Holmes, and you think that's a joke, and it's not a joke. And you try and make a joke about it, and no one's on your side. No like yeah must be hard to do who? My friends one year performed Tom Lennon and Ben Grant from Reno nine one one. They presented at the Eisner Awards San Diego Comic Con, and they had to follow the death montage of all the people that they had lost. Not only not only did they do the death montage, which would have been bad enough. The woman reading it read the person that died and then read what they died from. Each. Stand Smith Cardiac embolism seven. Like twenty minutes and then offstage, Oh and now from Reno nine one one. And Ben Durant and the music would. Like making it fun, and the audience was like. Aw, you like. It was. Unbelievable we would do stuff like that on crashing and I was like this is important because it happens. I swear all the time all. There was a place one of the part of the. Now Ladies and gentlemen, the comedy blink a patch comes from. We did a he and I did a Gig to. In pleasanton California a place called the sunshine sleman. which is this notoriously horrible one nighter that you still did because you needed the seventy dollars? But they will miss gas. Yeah, they. Would, they were notorious for will. You would go there and there'd be some big sporting event going on on their big screen, TV, but the show started at eight matter what was going to game? They would switch it off and go all right. Let's get ready for. The whole audience was like. Bureau and then they made you go up because you're like the comedy show starts sedate. I and. I'm happy for us to start this. Two hours late as long as the game in that connects. You know what I mean like I will happily stay here and wait like show start. It was almost like this. ASPER agree like our show starts at eight o'clock like no. Awareness of how the crowd is feeling or I saw them. No, I didn't see them, but Blaine claims that he saw them switch it off when the guy was like, he's on the thirty. He's on the quality of I got click all right ladies. In. Yeah Rudolph. That's has back to what you were saying about all comedy. What did more than props or like a you know? A guitar with a brought in the anxiety induced level of awareness that people like you and I have for life. That's all it did. It gave accolades because angry dad's drunks. All this stuff is why we became comedians. Let's not incite the weird parents before we had the dinner show. Me Growing up going wait for them to have a cocktail before you. Buy. Nine is what made me a comedian. Get. Oh, I love it. I love it. I I have to hop off I. Know You do so sorry. Pete I know you do thank you. I was GONNA. Say this was like condensed milk. It's all good. If I was like look, we have an hour. I want a moment of heart I want great stories I want great bits. You did it and I I was I. don't know I moved to say this. I'm like you're one of the good gear, the good guy of so happy for you killing it I'm proud. I know it's weird for me to be proud because I'm a freshman year senior, but I'm proud. And you kill an and you're you are you are far beyond the point, my friend? Well we're both like nine years I'm a senior in your tenure or yes, there you go. That's the way to put it all right God. Love you. Would you say keep it crispy? It's how we end, you say. Hey. Keep it crispy. You. Good luck with the rest of your press patent and Everything is out on May. Tuesday may nineteenth on Netflix there. It is baby all right, thank you, pat and thanks for taking the time. See you fight. Or so crispy I'm so crispy.

Patton oswalt Pete Pete David Door Kevin James Catava Ju I Charlotte commander Mr Rogers Conan Steve Martin Dave Paula CA La Mimi K. A. C. H.
They Called This a Movie Episode 84 - The Toxic Avenger (1984)

They Called This a Movie

1:19:03 hr | 8 months ago

They Called This a Movie Episode 84 - The Toxic Avenger (1984)

"Meet Little Melvin. He's a ninety pound weekly. Everyone hated. Melvin PICK THIS MOPPING JUMPING DOWN. Your throat. Bay teased him. I'm GonNa do it with you. Taunted in Bay tormented him until he had are horrifying acted and fell into a VAT of nuclear waste. Transforming little into a hideously deformed creature of superhuman strength and claim the tactic of injure only the first Superhero born out of nuclear waste. Yes the muggers in the rapist. Didn't know what law and order was until the TUCK. Thank God I don't know what it was. But Hey my life I fuck your brains. Vandals in the perfect had their way with the little people of Trauma. Been until that tax avenger them apart. The toxic avenger. His face is so terrifying. We can't show it to you. You'll have to see the movie for yourself. The toxic avenger can been steel with his South leaps. Small cars in a single he. Crushes drug pushers shoes hit and run drivers all criminals. Their just desserts toxic got injured. He's a hero. He's a fighter. He the lover the good citizens love him. The fact corrupt. Kate him basically will he survive for incredible explosive action. You Must Z. The top sick. He's a different kind of hero. The tactic of injuries coming to you. Welcome Today Call. Some movie testing the strength of friendships. One terrible movie at a time. Subscribe the podcast and and other podcast services by searching. Nicholson movie we part of the main naming network. It's fun more from us to the website with meeting me dot com or on twitter facebook instagram at the main naming real. So now proud member Geek. Five inch you can find them at GB NATION DOT com. Welcome back the goals movie. This is anthony with me as always. Is Dan Acquino Mark Meyer? Say Hello Gentlemen everyone. Hey so did you guys get past level too. I had a hard time laying level to in this The game toxic adventure. So never man. I hope you've asked us to talk about probably should've let us know about it before mark did you. Did you mix up your podcast? Did you play the video game and not watch the movie? Is THAT WHENEVER. Shit fucking talk as as Aso. Yeah this week Once again we are still locked in our houses. So as we've been doing this week We're GONNA do the same thing again. what have you guys been watching? The I watched the Seinfeld standup special on Netflix. And I watched heartbreak kid so far I know you would talk about Seinfeld right It was it was pretty good. I think I think you've got on a little. Yeah that's right. Yeah you said it was just okay right. Yeah for some reason. I thought like it was awesome. I don't know why I'm putting that like those words in your mouth. I disagree with you know that was fine young. He's new sixty five year. Old Man Married with two kids that are high school age going into college. So he's talking about that kind of stuff which is not exactly I mean. He was never been never edgy. But he's also he's talking to Very specific group of people. At this point to me it sounded more like ramblings than jokes. Yeah so he was just kind of go one subject to the other and it was just more of him expressing opinions. I guess more so than jokes but it wasn't too bad. I mean he's still yes good lines in there. It's obviously Seinfeld. And even let's on in the beginning it could be anywhere in the world but I'm right here. So yeah it is moments. He definitely had his moment. That's all you watched the. Yeah I'm probably I know. The new Patton oswalt special recently came out so I might watch that as well okay. It's interesting that she watched the heartbreak kid this week. But I'll get into that when I tell about what I watched interesting mark. Yes so I won't keep people in suspense too long With that ledin finish last dance. There's one hundred things wrong with that documentary but it was. It's the best sports when I've seen in a while. Long-form not the thirty for thirty. You know those in our to four matter. Probably much better but Yeah it it's like I was talking to my Our friend John and Basically by the end of this it made me realize that. There's probably never going to be another basketball player. Michael Jordan like ever in terms of you know just the because so pre Internet social media and all that you know there's the this myth and Ara about the person Michael Jordan And then also how big of a social unnatural a commercial figgy became for like you know the be like Mike commercials and you know basically everybody associates the company. Hanes with you know like there's not going to be another basketball players much. Lebron James Dries. That's going to be able to reach what he did. And this was the perfect like Little behind the scenes stuff on our what happened so I recommend it for anybody like stock amenities men especially those sports documentaries. It's it's one of the better ones And besides just normal youtube stuff. I've been playing a good bit of of a compe- video games because my Computer is finally up the date and shouldn't have any issues going forward so I've been able to play Games that I have not been able to play in years because my computer would just shut off if I tried to play him. So that's mainly what I've been doing for the last week. Okay Great Yeah. I've I've been going on with my marvel. I've watched the original avengers this week. As well as individuals age altron watch cartoons the galaxy and watch hitman also rewatch Zootopia usually kind goto for family watching. When we're figuring out some to do is put on Disney plus put on a random Disney. Pixar movie also started watching defending Jacob. Which is an apple. Plus TV series starring. Chris Evans which is really good ends. I watched the brand new happy Madison Film. The wrong missy and this one is the one that ties into the heartbreak kid because it is believed was written by the team that wrote the heartbreak kid And it's just as bad. I think with heartbreak kid I was in the right mindset in the right place when I watched it at first because on second viewing it it had a few moments but it didn't hit me as hard as I did the first time. I think it's definitely movie. Where if you're around the right people. It's Funnier schorr because by myself I was just thinking all right. Well that's kind of funny you know and I really just watched it because of the late Jerry Stiller so I wanted to. I know a plate heavily in it so I just thought I would take a little trip and rewatch one of the comedy greats. Really With the wrong. See Not only a written by the team. It cribs heavily from the heartbreak. Kid steals like a lot of premise. A lot of like the. It's basically the same basic premise. Someone goes on vacation with a woman. Net is an insane person and it's a lot of the same beats. It sounds like a lot of same beads. It's like all about Steve. Meets the heartbreak kid with a little bit of forgetting Sarah Marshall just thrown in there for good measure? David spade is too old for this movie. He's he's like fifty five at this point and he's way too old to be in a movie where he's a single dude and a hooking up with Lauren laptop so maybe is in her mid thirties and he looks every bit. He looks like you know the the boy movies. The boy to Brahms the boy. Yeah he looks like the boy if the boy aged ending up plastic surgery. Yeah I don't know what the the resurgence of David Spade. Brea I mean I've I've seen an episode of the David Spade Show. I guess late night with David Spade or whatever and it's a bit you know standard late night Talking Heads Show pretty funny that the guests are funny but it I mean it's it's basically the soup I suppose and I don't know why Hollywood is pushing David Spade on us now at such a late age yeah. I don't dislike spayed but he's definitely wrong for. This movie is a movie that should've taken. That should have happened. Like fifteen years ago was feels very much like a mid two thousand sort of movie like right off the heels of like an old school. So it's like Raunchy but it's it's really more obnoxious than anything else. She's irredeemable as a person and I liked her like as an like comedian actress. I like her a so. It's disappointing to see like what should be like star making turn have just lay Socially apt and just hair awful human being. And now you're saying it's a happy Madison production. Right yes all right so how many folks are in it. I WANNA say there's at least three. There's not many it's more layer. Yeah I can't I can't recall one. Specific one is alive like Dick Jokes and she's very vulgar. Yeah it's IT'S A it's a two thousand and five movie taking in like being made in twenty twenty it really is. It feels a little besides mystic to you. I don't usually label movies massage as but I definitely feel it in this movie. And maybe it's just the fact that feels just so out of place. Yeah I'm looking at a screen shot right. Now it's lauren lap giving spada a lap dance Yeah I mean a pictures definitely worth a thousand words there folks. That's that's rough because she's wearing a purple and gold sequin dress and spayed. Just kind of looks really uninterested. Your this is this is rough like I have. I can't really compare it to any of the other pappy Madison Netflix's movies seen them. I've seen the ridiculous six and this is better than their ridiculous six. It's not saying much assuming it doesn't have Rob Rob Schneider in Ovo. Does IT HAVE UP SCHNEIDER MOVIE. Without Rob Schneider man. In that man he lucked out only at all Is He wearing it? Certain colored hat is moving not wearing a different color face. I think that's really hand. Okay could be playing a Hispanic to be honest with you anything but White Guy And that's about it. There is one thing I want because probably answers New Year earlier questions about meet you thinking that. I thought Seinfeld was excellent. I didn't mention it on past shows but I watched the middle digit shorts specials awfully. I think that's what you were saying. Those were those were excellent Yeah those are really good. Those guys are really funny together So you're into Improv. All check that out if you have netflix. It's well worth your time. They're really. They're like fifty minute three specials fifty minutes apiece and it's just one set up each pretty pretty clever and that's all. I've been watching except for this movie one question. Did you take the advice of our good frontier and use a certain part of Altron P break? I did not. I did not need to be because I don't really need to P when I watch movies. I'm an adult to adult size planner. I can't remember the last time in the when I've been in the movies I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the movie. let's look at an aunt with his big bladder bladder shaming the rest of us. Hang my hat on something these days. That's all I got giant newsletter. We had to sit through the quickness family. Seeing so WHO'S OFFICE? They're just that brings that whole movie just to screeching all. But obviously I digress. This week we are watching a movie that mark picks mark. WanNa you want to introduce our movie. This week so So I picked the toxic avenger which I believe is nineteen eighty-four Yet the main reason I did this was because I felt a little bad in our outside the podcast conversation. You guys were hoping that death of a cheerleader was a little more Based little more thriller So I tried to look through and find horror movies and I was having trouble An random this popped up when I checked Netflix and not prime on Sunday and I decided to choose it because I played the video game when I was growing up called toxic crusader which is based off. There was an animated show. I believe Crusaders. Yep Yeah and I remember waiting that video game and Being as bad as I remembered what I replayed it before after watching the movie But yeah so it was like. Hey I've never seen the actual movie. It's SORTA thing that's been in my atmosphere. You know sort of you know as like. Oh I kinda know this movie because it is game in the show you know but I've never actually seen the source material For it so I thought I throw it out there. I thought it would be a little more horror than than the campus But that's my fault for not reading. Who PRODUCED IT? Which would have been my first tip but I Yeah that's main reasons why I never seen it and it's something that's one of those things that I've heard about Just want the checkoff lists or something. Gotcha Dan. What's your experience with the toxic avenger? So I have had quite the experience with this movie. I've seen it several times. I watched the cartoon and I owned a bunch of the action. Figure I even brought some action figures in for show and tell when I was in first grade or whatever but the good thing about this movie. And it's you know this is definitely a product of the eighties where now for our listeners. Who may not have been born in that time period? X rated movies are rated. R movies could easily become child friendly cartoons and Tway lines Robo. Cop IS ONE THAT COMES TO MIND. ahead of ROBOCOP action figure. So did I. I had robocop. I had the car and I had. I forget what the other you know. The the giant mech was. I had that but you know as a kid. I wasn't allowed to see the movie. You know where the cop gets brutally blown to bits and you know it's one of the bloodiest movies you'll ever see but I made it into a cartoon Yeah and that's kind of what this movie is and I. I never saw it as a kid but you know again. I watch the the cartoons and I had the action figures. And you know you can kind of chalk it up to just a the time period or maybe bad parenting. I don't know but they they gave me the action figures and everything. So you don't get that nowadays and it's Kinda sad for our children now in the children that will become in the future. Because they're not going to get that that raw unadulterated movie that's turned into a kid show an everyone's lesser for it. I think be like getting like Nickelodeon TV show like based around Black Black Phillip from the witch persona you know. Yeah anything you Quentin Tarantino related. It's make Django into a Saturday morning. Kids cartoon well a thick. You do that. Got Flying Hours right. Yeah it's his companion or than they they solve crimes in the deep South Yeah I I think I mean. I guess that kind of takes a special kind of branding or people who just don't give an f where it's you know. Yeah we have one of the bloodiest movies ever. We have one of the grossest movies ever in toxic avenger. And we'll we market this towards the little kids. I you know I would imagine there was probably a serial that tied in with all of it I would have to do a google search but do that while you're talking with this kind of movie As I was watching it and I'm writing down notes about what to pick on. You kind of realized that it's kind of like pistol whipping a blind kid with this because this movie wants to be made fun of I. We're we're pretty much just giving into the movie wants reviewing it. You know what I mean or yeah so. There's nothing to be taken seriously about this movie and I do believe that this was traumas biggest movie it was there for it was definitely their first big one. That's kind of what put them on the map. I didn't Chet It's hard to come across numbers in terms of money. It made Because it wasn't really released to theaters but definitely it was the one that you know. They call like new line cinema. They call it. The house of Freddie built because that's that they made their money off of nightmare on ELM street and they'll existed f because of that and this is kind of the movie. That is the answer to that. The that house to talks he built more or less Yeah I I was aware of the cartoon I ever watched it although I did watch two episodes of it today also on prime after watched the movie and finish my notes And I didn't have any figures I don't really know why didn't I'm sure that they probably wound up on a Christmas list at some point and my parents should is like. I don't even know if he knows what this is. So we're not that we the funny. Gi Does and you're older than any. What are your two years old in the me? Your aunt you were you know. Obviously being older and your parents knew well enough a yeah. This probably is right for him. Meanwhile my parents yeah. Just give him whatever who cares. There's a creature with a giant knows that blow snot out of it that that'll entertain them for a couple months And I think I didn't watch this movie until maybe six or seven years ago Watched it once and in twenty minute chunks. Because that's really all I could handle and watched it twice this time this week and I liked it a little bit more on my last. Go Round Because as Dan said it's it's a movie that's not made to be taken seriously. It's it's made for the shock value. A pal how violent and how gross out they could make it. They're still they're still very much. Annoy me of this movie but We'll get into that but you know it. It's a true movie it really. Is it really set? The set the example that they kind of just lasted through that Yes and I also felt that. There's a line that they were just trying to push with everything like they went to be so edgy with it as well Just downtown despicable all the bad the evil people war In this movie and so it was if there is a level above cartoon initially evil All these villains exceed that level they make you immediately. It was one of the things I knew. It wasn't supposed to take it seriously but felt myself getting a little angry about Bozo and slug in this going. But they're taking this way too far whatever bit they're doing with these two guys here And it doesn't really pay off either. We'll get to that but Yeah it just it just felt like I thought it would be a little more serious. Probably the right word I was hoping that it would be sort of like how you mentioned. You know nightmare on ELM street. Have they just got sillier and Cilliers? It went I was expecting not to be with. This dead was like the first one was serious. You know we're building this character. And everything after that from the cartoon to the game to the sequel was like the silly campy can't be you know not take it seriously but the he did it from the beginning. Almost the first couple scenes of this movie was a little surprising to me and Kind of kind of set the tone for the whole thing where I probably would like it more maybe on multiple viewings but yeah. I had the same reaction. Where if I wasn't watching it for this. I would probably broken it up into chunks toxic danger from Nineteen eighty-four directed by Michael Hurt's and the comparable iconic lawyer Kaufman directing basically everything that trump has put out Starring Mitch Cohen Mark Total Andrea Miranda Pat Ryan Junior. Sarah Levinson. Dan Snow Gary Schneider in Robert Prichard holds a score of six point three in a rotten tomatoes score of seventy percent budget around five hundred thousand dollars and made about eight hundred thousand dollars according to wikipedia ceiling place. That has that information and one's a cool seventy nine minutes am. I didn't thought data Robert Robert PRICHARD RIGHT. could have been like action Older brother or something like that. He Z. stretched out version of Corey Feldman. That's who yeah 'cause that headband that I that I'm thinking the loss loss loss boys that has been before the lost boy said today. The domain rip-off slug. He might have yeah. This is three years prior Felton He was probably in the number street movie that he was in the fourth one. Yeah this with this post kunis. So yeah and it was. It was goonies that that was eighty. I don't really have any concept of time for GOONIES BIANCHI. I eighty five out loud. Guys were those guys. Were my favorite part of the movie by the way. Bozon slug. Yeah it's it's just so over the top that you can't to me you can't help but just laugh at it and I mean when when when they're in the gym and they're just going crazy in making all the faces and I know that's one thing that you hated and but I I was ruffling watching that. What is this guy doing he? He would have ranked Lanka alarm at planet fitness. Oh absolutely yeah. Kind of looks like He kinda like Bill Paxton in terminator a little the punk a little bit. Yeah Yeah I think I think the thing I didn't like about them was just the theme of the whole car. Crashing thing as seemed a little bit too edgy like they were trying to make people be shocked by it. You know so I hated everybody's faces and this movie Alvin face faces Bozo and slug make just ever topsy space. Might have been the best face. Because he can't remote book like thank God L. Melvin nells like I totally get it. Why Bozo like eight guy? His Melvin tour goal gives Clint Howard a run for his money. He's Clint Howard. Without all the charisma. Shore yes this guy man. Oh I picked on him and I'm and I'm nothing. Yeah I mean even the overweight person in the GM that was probably made fun of was making fun of about. Yeah definitely the enemy of my enemy. Kinda thing yeah where everyone can just unite under one banner to just shit all over Melvin. At least they chose an awesome name right. Melvin that's a great name to name your nerd main character. Sure it's no. It's no norman. I think Melvin worse. Never see any Melvin anymore. Nope right has any meant a Melvin. Malcolm I have I've met Eugene. That's like the same. Yeah Yeah that's definitely in the same branch I'd say we have to name our kid. Melvin now that's the so we'll meet one. Melvin W- we have to make a pact guys. Whoever has a child I legitimately or illegitimately has to name the Kid Melvin? We should inform John. Phone out of the three of us. Okay the three Amigos here you guys. WanNa get to the plot ensure went on Dan. You got something for US besides objections of course As I've been doing I wanNA plug our good friend. Tia from Geek. Vibes nation. Good friend re podcast. She has her own podcast that you should check out. It's called the top ten with Tia. And it's a weekly podcast. Where t and her crew tackle a number of entertaining topics like the top ten movies of the year. Or the top ten worst on-screen couples. It has it all so don't miss out and we will be right back but before we go. We are going to take a minute to listen to some friends. The podcast so we will be right back. Hey everyone this is Steve. And this is Adam and were part of the nation. Usa podcast Pittsburgh's number three craft beer. Podcast join us. Every Friday for new gear reviews. We'll talk about the news history and homebrew plus. We'll sit down with the best brewers industry personalities. That'll have us so whether you're a casual drinker hazy boy hop head or even if you're a whale hunting seller hoarder just search hop nation. Usa On apple spotify or your favorite podcast her and joined the nation. Ohi didn't see you there. It's me George from the best little horror house in Philly to show where we talk about the best horror movie ever made according to our guest. At least we've talked about groundbreaking classics Texas chainsaw massacre an alien. But we've also got a lotta great ones coming up including some very fun guests like Len Cab. Kinski of swamp zombies and red letter media fame Caroline Williams the star of Texas chainsaw massacre two and Chase Williamson from John. Dies at the end. So make sure you're subscribed to the best little horror house in Philly and I'll see you boils and ghouls over there and welcome back. And now it's time to get into the plot of the toxic Avenger Nineteen eighty-four. We opened on the standard trauma. New York City Skyline animation and a warning about the extreme violence of the TOXIC AVENGER. Then we get a skyline of the real. New York in a narrator comes on talks about New York technological progress in the side effect. Wastes seen Starts off in Trauma Ville which is a suburb of New York City. In this world population fifteen thousand and a toxic waste capital of the world we then zoom in on Zoo Trauma Ville Health Club. We MEET MELVIN THE JANITOR. Who has the dumbest face in the entire? World's meet certain it's the most punishable face. That's for sure fucking. That was the exact point that freeze frame. Just so you would have that reaction. And this movie is chock full of punishable faces. Absolutely every single mercy has got a basic punch from wall to wall and then we see the tightest packed. Jim In the history of gyms which in today's climate feels very weird because people just on top of each other working out eighties. An Jam is this have gyms are now Dan Yes and no but it is much smoking right back much. Less smoking. People aren't wearing speedo in it as far as I can tell but they you know people do grab their crotches every now and then you know. Act The fool but it's not as Weird I'll say that then we get a whole montage. These people working out as body talk song that we will get very familiar with the movie plays we get some shots boobs and butts and dudes speed Os and then we've we come across our two villains slugging. Bozo who just hate the MOP boy. My boy they're hanging out in a hot tub with their to hose and the MAPA comes over to their hot tub and he gets distract in the accidentally drops the mop into the water. Which Bozo get stressed out and really bucks up Karma so. He runs off really upset so he doesn't bench presses and makes the worst faces while he does so he looks like he's constipated while trying to bench press. Meanwhile slug walks around looking like a stretched up for Corey Feldman Smoking in the middle of the health club making out with his girlfriend and then all sudden he goes for they go for making out to two straight up fucking in the locker room. Might my favorite part of this is The girlfriend is asking him on you. This is a good idea if someone comes in and stretched out Corey Feldman tells her I paid. I paid the owner. Like ten bucks. We we have until tomorrow afternoon. I think it's like middle of the day already. So they have it for the whole night into the next day they did that. Owners real easy to pay off. Say Ten dollars gets you all that. What the ten dollars get him. Because Melvin walks in immediately. You think details. Hey can't go in there like a caution tape on the locker. I was like Oh busted pipe. We gotta you gotTa stay out of their guess. Ten dollars doesn't get you a locked door. Sure Maybe Twenty Sprang for twenty bucks right the the safety deposit so they start fucking mercury and says no no no They start fucking and the Melvin walks in and makes the worst faces and then they threaten his life and he runs away again. The worst face of foot I at the same time. That probably made it much better for slugging. His girlfriend right because now she has the knife out and they probably get some weird stuff there. Oh absolutely so that ten dollars might have gotten him pretty far again her pregnant. That's that's the The director's cut. I think we find about that and you can already tell. This was in your typical movie at this point. Is that at no point the day. Try and stop or cover up when they saw him staring at her. Get outta here in all today. Were in or all fucking cut. Shoes that night So they're outside at night so they weren't using the locker room for the full time they thought for Bose's gangs driving around while they talk about. How many points you get hitting people so this a game. They play is where they hit people. They get points when they find some dumb ass kid on a bike that is riding his bike out in the middle of the night for some reason that that actress his sister or whatever was definitely like somebody's like real sister or girlfriend or something that worked on the movie I was sad that he got hit by a bike because he he had come and I think the kid. Yeah Yeah Yeah right in his panicked like that. No it's like one o'clock at night and he's just dumb ass kid. Where's he going? Are you realize you're begging for trouble? Their kid you're in the waste capital of the world riding around on your bike like a nerd at eleven o'clock at night. Something's going to happen. Here's a question. Where would you rather live? Drellich'll live in trauma Ville or Gotham city. Everyone tennis everyone seems easy. Trauma Bill like all the women so probably Trauma Ville dot them. I could just I feel like I just walked down the street and the guy in a weird costume would come in you know. Do something weird to me. I got them. Has a guy named crazy quilts? You know I don't WanNa live in a town like that Ju- sweater. Yeah but yeah. It's like angsty sweater is made with angst on. I don't need that that one tweet where you know if you if you taught theatre without teaching humanities is that how you get Batman villains exactly suppose runs over the kid but he initially survived and tries to crawl away so we back it up and runs over. His head was pretty gruesome effect. Made by injecting food. I into watermelon head splatters all over the concrete so the girls get out steps polaroid's of the body and I think the horny about it. They're not upset by it. They love it back to the health club. The next day the aerobics class is going on where teachers trying to give instructions to his class. Sleigh slug puts a snake damage shirt for no reason so then he starts making weird movements and the classrooms copied him. Classic hijinks Bozo is then bozos gangs playing racket. Ball and dump faced Melvin staring at them through the glass the girls and idea and how to get back at Melvin for having dump face I suppose he really hasn't done anything besides that while mopping the pool area. Julie those are the girlfriend tells. Melvin meet her in the girls locker room after Schiff. Meanwhile truck drivers carrying toxic waste pullover front of the club so they could snort some dope Melvin all dope after shift. Melvin goes to the girls locker room and finds Julie there in the Bikini. She says that she's tired. Of the way Bozo treats everyone wants to get back. In by fucking Melvin. So she tells him she wants him to dress up in a two two and come out to the pool and then she shows little boob action than troy ounces off so he goes to change. Its come out the pool. All the lights are off. Street tells them to kiss her and kisses. What he thinks is her but they turn on the lights and he's been kissing a sheep the whole time. The whole health club is they're making fun of him and there's some really strange people making fun of him. I don't think these people look in the mirror. Very often now is literally anyone that they could get off the streets. There'd be seen. He wanted to make fun of nerd. Yeah thirty bucks sold. I'd do it for free. Melvin gets so upset that he runs away and ultimately jumps out the window and into open container toxic. Waste on a flatbed truck. I love those guys in flatbed truck. It was. Let's pullover. No they told me not to pull over but I got this nine bag of white powder. Shit we're GONNA pull over right now. Also why are they traveling on a flatbed truck with toxic waste no covers on it wondering when they hit a bump one of them goes over they turn the? Eighties Ciragan Eighties. There is no restrictions Slot Democrats. It's a I mean I guess. Toxic waste has produced some good heroes. Maybe that's the reason maybe So he jumps into a falls to the toxic waste and the crowd goes out of the health club. Watch them ride around on the ground as they watch. Bozo says he's faking it Cops come to try and help them. And one of them touches Melvin and his hands immediately burst into flames checks on the officer. Now I was reading Trivia and then on my second I made sure to look for it. Apparently that the fire effects dripped onto the plate. Melvin so he actually catches fire. There in that scene was like an overhead shot where you see the hands on fire and it was like a flame that falls off the hands onto Melvin News on the ground and you can see him started swatting it away and then just go with it. It's kind of funny because there's a little bit Tan tangent lies but I was watching When I was watching cursed films they were talking. He he made an appearance. I think. Either on the The crow or on The twilight zone the movie and just talking about safety in the precautions that they they do on set for trauma at this point now that they had a little bit more money so it was interesting to see. You know these kinds of almost fails. There is one thing that happened during the the the car. Chase to but little tangible. So then Melvin gets up and runs down the street. And then he bursts into flames out of nowhere and then goes home and locked himself in the bathtub leaving green footprints everywhere he goes jumps tub and his hair starts falling out and he starts a mutate. Is a skin still smokes? His mom listening in to the bathroom thinks he's jerking off. Ask kind of weird. And then Melvin the sides to just run off into the streets. I guess Get a night scene. Where skid row punks hanging out on the street cigar facing a couple punks talking about the score they hit and their plans to bribe a beat cop which is a weird. Thanks is we're GONNA try. We're going to bribe this low level COP to look the other way. He has no pull whatsoever. Yeah all right well. What if the other cops show? But he's like the only clean cop on the force is basically what they say. Jim Gordon Have Trauma Ville. Yeah Oh cleary is his name and he shows up and they tried to bribe him but he won't take it so they jump them instead. Now the COP does he go in and out of an Irish accent throughout the movie or does he constantly have the Irish accent A he kind of goes in and out he does right. Yeah Okay I WANNA make sure that I was missing it. 'cause in the first time museum he has the regular. Just you know regular accent. And then when he's being interviewed he has the Irish accent did he. I think it's like at that point. He found out his character's last name was Irish. I should play it up as an Irish cop. The point where it surprised me when he the first time he has it like oh I guess he's supposed to be Irish right he just kind of. I guess he goes at his own pace. Yeah so cigar. Face puts a cigarette out on his forehead. And they'll go. They'll get some good punches in then they try to shoot as Dick off. But Melvin shows up and starts beating them up. He picks up cigar face. Toss him away then. Breaks off one guy's nose and then he pulls the Trans woman to is out then. Brutalizes them some more Like if it was really supposed to be a translator to some guy in address for no reason but I can't tell I mean movies not exactly woke so. This movie is by far the least woke movie. We've watched I think. Yeah I mean Fritz. The cat comes close but at least they were trying to give a message across infringed Yeah there was some message in that unwillgness of Ritz the gut. Yeah this one is just balls to the wall. SAJEENI and Racism Racism Homophobia transphobia there. Again Reagan's eighties baby rules. Thunderdome in one thousand nine hundred eighty four. It's we went from watching the most depressing movie in reviewing it to the most despicable movie. Probably and this is a low for they call this movie. I think you're wait till next week. It's your next week right. Okay now I gotta prepare myself So then Melvin picks up scarface by the balls and threw some trash cam and then this is where I noticed that Melvin still has the two. I didn't realize that until this moment The cops the hospital. He wears it throughout the rest of the movie. I didn't realize until until my second viewing today the cops taken to the hospital and tells the story about the guy that saved him in the mayor and the other cops discuss what happened there. All DIRTY COPS. So it's a bad thing. Because Cigar face was one their biggest earners they say and and if you didn't get it. The chief of police was German. He liked to do certain salutes. And things like that. There's quite a few Germany in this movie and I don't know if there's a German population in New Jersey. I don't know at least in Trauma Velez the great German Immigration Nineteen Eighty. Apparently they're all at apparently they're all Sons or daughters of people escape Nordberg. It's my one of my other favorite characters in this movie. Is the mayor because he is constantly sweating. Well he's a very large van. Oh yeah he must have gone through several shirts in one take as he is. Just there's the old Kevin James Bit when he talks about how. He sweats peeling an orange. I this guy sweat's just by being. I think that's the area. That's that's the reason why they have him on the massage table. One of his scenes too so he doesn't have to wear shirt as they ran out of clothes for budget five. It was a five hundred thousand dollar budget. Three hundred thousand dollars went to his his clothing. I think that's the reason why he's constantly sitting. I think there's only one scene where he's at seen moving and it's at the very end. They are probably. They probably shot. That I was. What's his name or laying down. I can only be on its feet for five minutes at a time doctor's orders so let's look shoot the the ending. I being verticals hazardous hell. I'm sure know we joke about it but it probably was. He's he's definitely one of the guys who Would you would see it like disneyworld scooters. Yeah he and he would ram right India because he was Dick. Oh yeah absolutely I like unabashedly evil. He is though it's great initially like mark was saying cartoonish evil. We'll get to later that they're talking about. Yeah he's really cleaned that the streets all the criminals behind bars and he's like almost all the criminals. We're still here and he's the way they'd laugh is you know it's the classic villain laugh. A and he's he and his cronies have women dancing behind them attitude. I mean to know music dancing the ultimate villain task for me. Ladies Dance Music. I think pants a gun. Can you imagine being an actress? 'cause there's a couple scenes of him where he's on the massage table. Can You? Yeah can you imagine being cast and the director tells you you're GonNa rub that man down and you're just kinda after like you know this is. I'm trying to make it could. Could you tell your friends with a straight face that that's me. I just never tell just never name the movie that you were in. I don't even know what its goal released. Why movie poster? Hey toxic avenger. Isn't that movie Nope Nope No. It's something else. Who are you alone at the health center? Slugging his girlfriend or flirting around in the Sauna and he makes a weird elephant reference. And then that's it happens. That's a melodrama. Melvin tries to go home but he scares his mom away so he said Hulk ventures around term`veal until he comes upon a junk yard which he starts organized a clean up and turned into a place where you could stay and the mayor and some board members have a meeting. This is the one where they have their sex party with the women dancing. I really understand what deal broker here. I rewound it like three or four times to get exactly what they're trying to do but more or less that they. They mentioned that an old power plant is being replaced by dump and they also say that the new plan is going to be twenty feet away from the town reservoir and I laugh. And there's a newspaper that's strategically placed on it on the couch. The I think essentially what they were saying that they want the move the dumping all way from where it is because prime waterfront real estate and pay pay well. The other dump location puts it close to the reservoir and they were like basically basically like so. I understand about like what's the new dumb like they've already decided where it's going to go. They like really skipped that part for me that logic and it's it's weird like they're having sex party but it's you know there's women there but there's no drugs it's it's like sandwiches is the one that's mayors one request that's know then you don't get that big by snorting coke alday. Let's right it's you can't have an orgy on an empty stomach. I guess magic. Imagine fucking with US STOMACH. Full just Pounds STOMACH I guess if he's if he's on the bottom maybe it's not as bad but very minimal Washington round hole. Hold the sandwich here while you're riding me so I could just eat all you do that. It's like George Castanza's wetering. Essentially the newspaper headline on just cheese place on the CAP says the poll top polls taped at sex parties. Which I guess is where they're at and girls dancing with no music And then we cut to restaurant scene. Which is the most happening restaurants since the McDonald's and Mac and May Mexican place? Apparently that was the real name of the place able dancing outside making out. Cook drinking liquor from his crotch and a group of Thugs Cummins rob the place. Leroy Rico and frank who get introduced like a band. Which isn't that terrible. I thought that was kind of clever. Yeah they had some Charisma Leroy starts harassing a woman with a baby and then some team girls kissing on the cheek. Leroy the actor that played. Leroy got so upset that he had a point. A gun at a baby that he quit immediately after something seen then Pete Buddha judge steps up and tries to talk some sense into them away while you're on really good and then Yeah I think he gets pretty much would people would probably get situation. Absolute and then frank comes upon a blind woman Roy Shoot the guy dog and then tries to rape the blind girl. Yeah you guys in your animal abuse next dog in this one though because later on you could see. They cut to a shot of the dog with bullet holes in him and he's still the very guts are hanging out with a dog in the context of the movie. Yes but they didn't actually kill a dog which I wouldn't put past trauma exactly but see the dog. Clearly this as he's laying there guts hanging out it's essentially the puke on it like the rubber Puke but I mean I'm watching it and I got dirty look from Gen when we were watching it really. This had to happen while I'm not about it either. I take it up with aunt and mark. They're the ones that forced me to watch these movies. Did you tell her? It was the Reagan eighties. I did not dogs. We're getting shot all the TIME BABE. Eight. I'm sorry. Apparently that was the biggest complaint that people had against trauma was that seen. It is like the whole sequence is kinda funny because they train the dog to to slide and that's sliding on his own. This is no it's not. It is according to the Trivia. That's what they said dog was was trained to slide backwards on that so much better than Airbud gets super goofy like I know. I hate seeing dogs. I but I kind of chuckled. A little bit just because it's such a goofy like sequence of shots that happened in that moment but yeah. They kill a dog in this movie which nobody likes. And then Melvin shows up and immediately re rips Frank's arm off and beats him with it. The actor playing frank was actually an amputee so The the harm was a fake. The whole time really Yep Catan where a prosthetic Radha hall the trauma. Melvin Slaps Leroy around with it. And then he gets into a fight with Rico who knows a little bit of Confu- Moves Rico. Venture breaks out. Some nunchucks summarized sword. That just happens to be hang on the wall Mexico so dangerous. I kept thinking of the scene from a Shaun of the dead. Where they the winchesters? Yeah the gun doesn't really work. It's there for show. So tosses Rico on the back and then they're leroy pops back up a Nelson tournament into milkshake shoving the ingredients sentence throat and then the mixer in his face then Melvin clamps. Rico's hands into a FRY basket and sticks his hands in the hot oil goes console the blind woman who somehow becomes more untrusted or at the scene even though she stopped getting raped with fully clothed and he helps her home. A blind woman brings Melvin home and some slapstick. Blind humor takes place. She falls down She drops things she hits him in the Dick with her cane. And the cops get the Taco restaurant and they'll have some tacos as the check out the murder scene and get with the statements from the book Also otherwise face. Sort interrupt so at this point we still haven't seen the toxic avenger space Treating this like jaws moment. Where they're they're really doing their best to keep you dispensary. All you can only see his body and you don't see you don't see the hideous face everything just like. Well what are you? What are we really hiding from? The kid played Melvin. Was Gross. Enough could really be any worse than that. Just show what he looks like. You're not this isn't one of those historic Moments Guy. All right Sarah wants touch. Melvin space but freaks out so she reads his poems instead in jackson-lee grabs his crotch Was the press conference with the COPS to discuss monsters so they bring it in German scientists and he says the monster only destroying evil. That's basically what happens in that. Press conferencing Ceja. He's German guys back at the Health. Club. Subdued is dealing with steroids. The mayor's getting rubbed down with giant sandwich. All these scenes of same setups unseens used by talk month. From beginning. Surroi dealer goes to do some workouts. The Melvin comes in and slams his head with the in the weights crushing it. Then Wanda goes to the sauna and starts rubbing out to the pictures of the did kids body as it turns her on. Melvin shows up and picks her up and drops on the hot coals. Is the first time we see her his face because he puts on the elephant man covering and then she takes them all thinking it's slug but then the whole the whole time. I was watching that scene. I kept thinking of you have to speak up wearing towel. She's like million slug. You really do that again Jeetan now. She's talking to him and he's a toxic avengers in saying anything. Oh you have to speak up. He's wearing a towel so she gets hers. I guess kills her Then after Melvin goes into the alley and takes Piss pisses green than a pimp dress like harbour town taxi. Driver UPSIDE LIMO offers. Melvin a twelve year old prostitute so Melvin picks them up by the neck and then a whole group of punks. Get of them out. A beat up Melvin and he kicked our asses steals their limo. It's hard they just keep coming. That a montage. Melvin doing good things like you say it's a couple of kids from getting run over by Bozo helps. An Old lady across the street helps a woman open a jar of popcorn kernels and then because he is radioactive. He's opening it. All turns to popcorn. Opt Blunt porn saves the baby from doing from something. We've just see him handing the woman her baby back and then people start wearing shirts with the monster's face on at Saint. I love the monster. Whatever it says then. We get a rundown from the crooked cops and political figures prisons around criminals. They almost got all the criminals. According to a very self-aware mayor not them. They're still criminals just winked at the camera. They're not everyone weighing up like that. He is not afraid to say we're pretty we're we're criminally active. Nothing you can do about it. Then Melvin gets jumped by a cigar face and a bunch of other goons who all point guns at him in a circle so he jumps really high they shoot and they all manage to shoot each other instead. I wish they would've played the six million dollar man in an in-in-in-in in such a wasted moment. the meanwhile Sarah Hassled on the street by a bunch of bikers. Melvin COMES TO HARASS Q. And they run away. Love Montage with Melvin. Sarah all set to fake attorney Song Have Picnic. They have sex the breakfast he brings her back to his shack. They dress it up so women could live there. I guess back to the Health Club. Melvin Prizes Julian in the locker room and apparently Mr Marissa's tell me to is in the scene but I never would have guessed it. That was what she looked like. She looks very different than season towel. She comes out screams and runs away apparently mirrors the toilet until may not Julie. This is another girl. Oh okay wait till. She's in this movie supposedly her. Yep Yeah let me something. A picture of WHO THEY SAY IS MERCY? Dome Legal Vendor. It doesn't look like her low so I'm Scott event. Imdb as I'm I'm sorry go ahead. I was GonNa say it's it seems to be confirmed but I'm having a hard time believing. This person is actually Because it looks nothing like her. I didn't even notice now. Not In this scene in the Senate to the chat on in this scene. He surprises her right for some reason. Her him surprising her surprises him right. 'cause she gets away somehow because he's just go wait a minute. I wasn't expecting that you were waiting for her. Not expecting her to be totally terrified of your your gross face. I guess not you guys get see that picture. Nothing Sky skype buses yeah. I'd have to see you're not screaming. I guess it as in I don't see it being her ALGA. I don't doesn't look like it to me but I I am DB is never lead. Us astray strew but supposedly. That's her. I wonder if Lloyd Kaufman put that in there. We'll say mercer domain was in bed credibility Agile runs after she sprays. Melanie is hairspray. And then winds up in a vast boiler-room so up in some sort of utility closet. And then Melvin busted the door and stabs her with some scissors sky anti climactic and then she dies off screen. I think those are in slugger. Waiting for Julie Who has the car and both closes getting really stressed for waiting for fucking up as Karma again inside the beat up on a lady with Crowbar and steelers car. An elven shows up. Part made me laugh out loud too. I don't condone violence but just the total slapstick way to beat. This woman. Up is very very funny. Drive imported a Japanese car. Like yeah they just go to town on this woman really beat the shit back. Melvyn Melvin shows up and they tried to run him over but he managed to jump over the hood and clings onto the roof. So car chasing carriers. They tried to swerve. Melvin off the roof he pulls slug out of the car and then gets in inserts manhandling Bozo as he drives causing a lot of property damage and several car accidents and almost killing Perfectly innocent people. There's a lot of. He does more bad than good in this scene. Yeah he leads them into a group of children. Yep Yep eventually Melvin pulls the steering wheel often he and both go careening off a cliff in the car explodes. Melvin gets out of the charred car unharmed but Bozo is Cut To seen in a laundry mat and a tiny woman. Mrs Haskell brings in her son's jeans to get cleaned because of come stains all over. I don't think they know it. It looks like it can reality because they may he might be got some butter on there or powdered sugar right. He had some powdered sugar on there. They didn't are you telling me they didn't have the budget for seamen. Come on no as far as I know it's free you just make it yourself as. Yeah that's what I've been told I I don't I. Don't pay attention to such things and so the owner while he's trying to bring her up. Its ticket on his car so he goes out to stop the meter maid but meanwhile mills walks in and picks a fight with a woman. I chasing around them picking her up and put her in the washing machine than iron to death which you would think that this does not hold up his Mo but does later on yeah. I was a little confused and we will do this. The first time we see this woman or ever ever heard of her and toxic. You Buck. Wild Honor Yeah we because he's supposed to be able to sense that people are they do. What did dumb superpower? Yeah but he never so in full disclosure that is a super power that he has in the cartoon they never explicitly say. That's what he's he does. End this movie though. Yeah I if he's an ex-man they probably leave him behind missions yet like he has like a good and evil. We already know we're fighting MAGNETO. He's bad forget it It's like a spider sense in the in the cartoon like he he starts to glow or something like that But Melville returns home to Sarah. Who's Reading Braille magazine and Melvin? Says that he's out of control and he can't stop killing people. Sarah suggests that they go somewhere where they can be by themselves. They planned to go to a place in the country off of some farm property during press conference mayor finds out that. Mrs. Haskell was running a white slavery ring and then they decide that they're going to cover up Mrs Hat Mrs Haskell's back around the turn public opinion against the monster. It was such a random reason why she was evil. It almost feels like a note like they're like they like you know what like that whole scene laundromat love it but of doesn't stick to his. Mo So we have to add in something here trying to figure out a way reason why he would have killed her. And let's make it edgy and make it white slavery. We all know how much that goes around the cops a task force to kill the Monster. Cops go searching for them and they find him and Sarah and a tent outside the city so go tell the mayor the mayor the governor to get the National Guard to help governor says the guard but he says to capture them. Don't killing and the mayor totals is mustache. They'll see about that. It was pretty funny about that scene when they cops. Find Him and Sarah in the countryside Sarah's wearing a bikini for no reason yeah and she's not wearing it ever again. We were a strange thing to wear the country random. It only serves so that they can have that scene where that would be. The only reason the other cop would wanNA looked through the binoculars. Oh yeah third. She's in a bikini. Let me see so weird you. You could have just done for no other reason. You don't even need a reason to do it just it just doesn't fit. She didn't want get naked. So that was the reason why you never see her fully nude right some of it like the best one of the movie. How you GonNa do that to us. Trauma come on our only credit to. I think a lot of people quit after this moving. I don't think they couldn't get work happens like Ooh or they just didn't want to work. This is is this what Hollywood all Hollywood is like. I'm just going to go back to working in my dad's hardware store. I'm done with this national guard roles in with tanks Townspeople are very upset. That they're going to kill. Melvin the whole town shows up ten location. All Yeah Right. I'm sorry. Say They somehow role to tanks and a whole mob of people up to their front door without them. Realizing what the Hell's going on over there just like just balls deep. Yeah I mean I guess that Makes Sense. I his his Evil Power He's evil. Sensing power's probably good. When he's balls deep against the activated erection and use the sense of saint. It's definitely a double edged sword. So all guns pointed at the tent. Melanin arrogant ordered out of the tent. Melvin mom and a bunch of kids stand in the way. Firing Scott Squad but Melvin then tells them to leave the National Guard and the cops decide. Stand down the mayor orders. Shoot Melvin. So the mayor takes it upon himself as he tries to shoot. Melvin a couple of times to no effect and then Melvin. Disembowel him in front of everybody. I don't think at this point. Anyone knows the mayor's evil rate. No I think he wants to kill Melvin. That's as far as they know right. But there's a bunch of posters at say know re elected mayor to keep the city healthy so and it's never really said that you know he's a crooked mayor row he he literally disemboweled. The mayor in front of the town ended the National Guard. Like Oh my God. He's a monster kill killing everybody's horrified but then they cheer after it like. Oh my goodness he must. He was a fat guy. Yeah that's basically it so then Sarah for some reason can't find Melvyn in this crowd. You eventually finds her. And then the crowd cheers. That's the movie there's A. There's a voiceover. If you're ever in trouble the toxic avenger will be near. And for God's sake I hope that's not true because I would rather have literally anyone else save me other than the toxic adventure frame ending restraint ending. That's right mark. It's not a very good one because it's a re use shot is one of those things where you're in trouble and years ago. Got Hope someone comes me in toxic shares up. You're like oh I hope someone comes and helping me. I said I hope if somebody comes to help me. That's really looking forward to the a team is. I'll I'll even take like in Holograms at this point. Go Away I even settle for Hawkeye. If Jenny listen to this you would get an earful markets. Make that joke for an audience that listen this. You're going to bring down while they're there renner fans on us in. That's a group of people we can't afford to piss off on all the rough rough and tumble folk all the camping equipment from the renter store. Fools down riding around their GPS in their flannel says it's a it's a scary group. Yeah and the yeah. That's Chitty ending to a shitty movie. I mean it knows it's Shitty so I guess there's some credit to that but you know that only so far. I wish I liked trauma movies more than I do really do. I'd try like him and I didn't hate it the second time. I watched it today but yeah it's just a lot of it's lost on me. I think I think Lloyd Kaufman's like that too for me I. I saw him like he shows up on an episode of Angry Video Game Nerd. He's obnoxious throughout that whole thing he it's unwatchable because he's he's making dirty jokes and they're not funny he. He wears out his welcome in very quickly. Yeah he's like I think he's doing. He covered the because he was playing the toxic. Crusaders game. They're that upset and he's just like a cruise ship comedian basically. He's got like these like that. That would go on like twelve thirty at night. When everyone's all nice and liquor it up now I don't know if he has extended family like he's a grandfather. I wouldn't let my child anywhere near him. His family I know we. We don't talk to. We don't talk to Uncle Kaufman. We stay away from him without adult supervision on without him. We wouldn't have the guardians of Galaxy movies that we have What's his name was Gun James Gunn. He was inspired by Kaufman He wrote a few movies. Oh did he there in the nineties? I think trump Juliet one has interesting. Yeah so that. He cut his teeth on their in a coffin shoes up at least in the first one as like a prisoner. I think he's one the inmates Ath- right I remember hearing and I don't care and he he sucks. I'm sorry I get. These movies can hold a special place in like be level cinema history. And he's one of those guys who really kind of made it on his own but I mean I can't sit here and pretend that you know I care. Yeah I think I think he's more. Most enduring thing is his idea that you know. If you've got a movie that you want do go out and make it yourself. Don't don't wait for anybody else. We've got his whole like make your own damn movie. I think book series under like or whatever so I appreciate it. His that kind of like Red Latitude sort of like get together and make your make your movie yourself. Don't don't wait around so I appreciate that Yeah like I just like I said. I wish I'd like to show movies more than I do. I watched Glass nukem high not too long ago. It's just just out of my peripherals of movies. I like like I would. I probably won't watch this again for another fifteen years. Maybe if if that Until they rebooted eventually and it is actually they are sensory rebooted. It is being directed by making Blair Who is director on? I don't feel at home in this world anymore was a Netflix's film is also in Blue Ruin Green Room agreement. Greeter solent movie. Yeah I like that movie. So is this going to be. More of a a gritty reboot announced as the as the director writer director writer director in March nineteen. So bad as much information as up. Oh he actually commented on our on your twitter post yest- that's right. I remember seeing that. Now that's interesting Man I wish I could get excited for it. And maybe I'll watch the reboot. I I have no idea if it's on Netflix Amazon. Prime just out of curiosity but yeah I again this movie. It's it's not well acted. It's not were shot in and again. I know that's what it's going for. But if you're going to sit down and review a movie you got to review it for what it is and it's just that's what it is. Unfortunately Yeah Yeah Mark. Any final thoughts. Yeah I've just a little upset. It wasn't as You know closer to like a a more gritty harder than than I thought but then again I didn't look and see her was 'cause I try to when choosing these movies maybe go a little bit outside of a comfort zone and John Nra that I watch Just because we all have different. You know a preferences for genres and I think it wouldn't be fair if I just kept picking like. Oh I WANNA do dumb action movies or something like that So trying to you know I thought this would be more horror so I was slightly wrong but Yeah it was just. I probably will watch it again. I really didn't enjoy the through the first time here But and I also probably never touch anything with it again because at video game has not aged will So yeah this was probably the last ever think of this movie. I'm glad I checked it off the list. Is You know not having that curiosity anytime. I hear someone mentioned it so good for that you know what would be pretty cool. If they did a crossover between the toxic avenger and ash from the evil dead. I betcha that's the comic book. I think that would make a pretty good comic book at least because they're I mean they're both campy and you've had ash go up against Zombie. The the Marvel Universe zombies of Freddy Jason. And all that. So I could definitely see as I as the toxic avenger a trying to see if I can find anything and Bruce Campbell would be. You know he'd be fun enough to do it with. I'm sure he wouldn't care but it just I don't think there's really a want for the toxic avenger. Well they're making a reboot so there's something there I guess. Okay you guys You WanNa plug your ship. Sure At decline a one twenty two personal twitter. Come HANG OUT. We'll have some laughs cries And then our real play Dean D. Stranger Jamie's is also on twitter and instagram. At Stranger. Daime so yeah I mean we're over seven hundred followers now hour regaining some traction were. We're getting some good followers and having some good interactions with people. I love the community. So no thank you guys so much for making us feel a part of it. It's just a lot of fun so just keep it up. We're getting good reviews and yeah it's just it's a good time to be a part of the. Stranger Dame's crew. I'll say that. Yeah so the podcast airs every Wednesday. I tunes Google. Play in any way you get your podcast can find it there Make sure as he said twitter feed at Stranger Davies Just from my perspective. If you have a you know criticism comments anything on the game were direction of maybe Rule. I got wrong or something you know. I'm learning as I go along there So feel free to send it to that. That twitter account Said we can at least better to gain for you guys out there And we also have The game podcast which revenue episode next Monday. Were recording it this weekend. Will Tom Finally Finish? Final fantasy. Seven remake so probably the last time we'll talk about that until the spoiler cast sell For those of you that have been hating hearing all battle all that it should be over this week and will probably be back streaming on a more regular schedule. Now that Jenny and I I will both have You know computers. That won't set on fire if we tried to stream with them So be going out on that. I check twitter feed We're going to make Tom tweet. Added SCHEDULE ONCE WE GET. It settled giant. Keep up with that so and if you WanNa follow me on my personal twitter. It's at off the more tweet but a lot of times. I'm just responding to people and friends and making inside jokes and Phillies centric jokes so If you're more following me for the podcast it's probably better to go to twitter accounts. Okay and this is this movie. You can find that they they call this a movie. That POD DOT com we're on all podcast streaming APPS. Just look for they call movie and we should pop right up on all str- Social media we are available at the main daime because the main daime dot com is the main website and you can find us on facebook. Instagram and twitter at the main daime. You have any questions comments. You want us the movie to us. You could hit us up at the main name. Edgy. Mel Dot Com. And you could hit me up at andt. Delvecchio on Twitter A. That's my personal. So if you WanNa hit me up there you can We also proud member Geek. Vibes nation from the GBI NATION DOT COM and all podcast remained APPs at Geek Vibes nation. Look for Geek. Buys nation the pop up on a stream Bunch of great shows us. Dan mentioned t as show the whole bunch of other shows that I can't think of my head but if you're into geeked up comics comic book movies and anything else that's similar to that You could probably find it. Show that you like they're on all social media platforms for Geek Vibes nation or GB nation. It'll it'll pop up And that's due for us. This is being the toxic avenger episode of the cold. A movie directed by Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Hurst. So four Dan Aquino and Mark Myers. Is's Anthony Telling Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Hers to go? Fuck themselves

L. Melvin nells COPS Dick Jokes Trauma Ville Gotcha Dan mark Netflix Health Club Seinfeld Corey Feldman Melvin W Bozo twitter Patton oswalt Melvin News John Steve Julie Who David spade Jim Gordon
Comedian Patton Oswalt On Parenting, Loss And Keeping Humor Alive

On Point with Tom Ashbrook | Podcasts

47:30 min | 7 months ago

Comedian Patton Oswalt On Parenting, Loss And Keeping Humor Alive

"From NPR and WB, you are Boston magnetized Birdie and this is on point Patton. oswalt is an actor and comedian known for his many film and TV roles, including the voice of remmy. The culinary rat in Disney Pixar is two thousand seven. Ratatouille three Spencer. The paranoid friend and CBS is the king of Queens and pen. F Nur the leading the leader of a citizen, Crime Sleuth. Club, and whose season four of Veronica Mars, but most importantly as Oswalt himself will tell you. He's father to eleven year old Alice his daughter with his late wife author and True Crime Blogger Michelle. Michelle, McNamara since Michele's sudden death for years ago? Oswald has spoken eloquently and hilariously about grief morning and learning to raise Alice without her mother. He also pushed through it all to publish McNamara's unfinished book I'll be gone in the dark. One woman obsessive search for the Golden State killer and he's also, and he's now executive producer of the forthcoming six part Docu series of the same name premiering on Hbo this Sunday June Twenty Eighth and Patton Oswalt joins us now to talk about that shock about parenting about humor in pandemic. He's with us from Los Angeles, welcome to on point. Oh, thank you so much for having me. It's so great to talk with you well first of all. How do you feel about about this? Hbo Docu series seeing the Light of day here. Yeah. It's it's a mixed bag I mean I'm very very happy that the the fuller even deeper story. More up-to-date story is getting told the one that happily ends with Joseph Dangelo, being arrested for his crimes. And I'm I'm extremely happy that that the series was directed by Lewis Garbis who's an incredible documentarian and who made? I I just I. think a masterpiece, the mixed bag for me is that as a producer you know I have to watch the rough cuts and there were. There are moments reliving moments in my life that were. Really, really psychically and emotionally and spiritually difficult so there were you know I had to take breaks in between? Some of these. it was you know I'm certainly not GonNa let Alice Watch this now. She can watch it when she's older, but. Liz is really really good at getting into. The meat of things, not just with what I went through losing the show, which was a very small part of that, but but even deeper what the survivor is. The victims victims families. The investigators went through. The years of just. A rage and hopelessness basically, and and so there's a there's an amazing redemptive arc at the end, if all of it that that. Again it's it's garbage and her her filmmaking genius. I absolutely hear you about. That redemptive are passing through the lives of the victims of the golden state killer and their families as well. And I think that's an important point to make, but since I've got you here on the other end of a microphone. Talk, a little bit about you know more about what the process was like for you. Because as you said you had to go back to those. Yeah credibly painful moments losing. Michelle. Do you WanNa talk about that a little bit? Well, the process for me was was very similar to the process of writing the book and that there was A. There was a huge. Ask On my end of when I when I needed to get the book done I didn't finish. The book was Billie Jensen and Paul Haines, and her her agent publisher I handed materials to them and said this has got to be done I. Don't know how to do it. You know this is so beyond my especially with how wrecked and wounded in wink, I am right now, and they really pick that up and then with the documentary which. Goes deeper especially visually ought audibly I kind of? Reached after her Oliver Friends Oliver. Family went back to all of my. Photographs and films and. Videos on my laptop and on my phone of her and. I gave both of her laptops and her phone. I I called a computer guy that I know to get them unlocked, gave all that material to the filmmaker. So you see you see her emails or texts and everything so. It was initially that was really hard, and then there was that handing off and being kind like I've handed. Put this in someone else's hands, because I can't actually sift through it piece by piece myself because it'll be two devastating but again. I I'M GONNA I'M GONNA. Bring her name allotments but Liz Garbis. If you watch her other stuff that Nina Simone. Documentary The New York Times documentary. You know that you feel confident putting material in her hands if you watch her other films. Well. Let's listen to a little bit from the first episode. Okay if we can. This is episode one again premiering on Sunday June, twenty eighth on Hbo of I'll be gone in the dark. And here's a scene where patent. You're signing copies of of the book. Michelle's book that you help see through to its completion. You're signing copies and reflecting on what that process was like having to to do that without her. I was in the basement, struggling to get this afterward done because it was hard going. because I was also reading the book. In! There were those moments when. I would just. Like run upstairs and tell her something because it felt like I was listening to her, and then I'm like no, she's not know. So, it was just it was very. It was very talk. That's from the first episode of All. of YOU WANNA. You WanNa. Talk about that a little bit more. Well, I mean. There are moments when you read the book and especially when you watch, the documentary. When her the actress? Ryan mazing actress Amy Ryan Gone Baby Gone in the office and the wire. reads Michelle's texts and emails and Letters. And other pieces of writing and You know you there. Is that feeling of away tradition? She here like like. Why isn't she here for the lake? When you see because so much of her voice in her soul came through in her writing so when you read her writing. It feels like you want to turn to your right in teller. Something like she's come back because of the way that she wrote, she was very very personal in present. In how she wrote and what she wrote about so That's what I say. It's very dark week in that. It really exacerbated her. The paradox was it really really amplified absence by having her feel so present Indian reading all that stuff and listening to all that stuff is these make sense? Yeah, Oh, absolutely! Yeah, absolutely does, and I think that's the things that that is frequently experience when. People are remembering moments with with with loved ones, said the right back there. In present in the room. Since you mentioned that we do have a clip of amy, Ryan reading. Oh, some of of of Michelle's writing and here is a bit where Amy's reading. Michelle's words about what? She thought of the early stages of your relationship pattern. So again, this is accurate. Amy Ryan. Michelle McNamara's words. We loved many of the same things like creature from the Black Lagoon, tales of the grim and offbeat and good food. I didn't like the way his comedian friends including him seem to tell jokes, but never listen. He's I was thin skinned. For Awhile, it seemed it might not work. But one night he was saying goodbye to me and he won me over with an adorable. Edward G. Robinson impression. You know obviously I never knew Michelle in person at all, but even just those words. What an amazing. Woman I! mean she was. She was such a regional personality in such so her own person just take. Didn't take crap from anyone, but then would also surprise herself by what would delight her, and she didn't judge what delighted her so it again. She was such a. she was such an. person in in comparison to. Pretty much anyone else. I admit up to that point in my life, so it was, it was Kinda. You know it really bold me over took me took me off my. Feet for a long time. I love her direct honesty there when she says. I didn't like the way his comedian friends incuding him seemed to tell jokes, but never listen. Well that unfortunately in that one sentence, she absolutely nailed the species. I mean if you've ever on with Comedians were all waiting for our line, I. Or were riffing. It's not a conversation It's a weird jousting match and yeah, she. She saw that very early on. That kind of honest and loving directness. We need more of in this world yes. Oh, God, yeah, well, luckily in a in a weird way I I found that again and never thought I'd find that again an idea with. Merida's the my my wife now married at Sounder, who is? So? is in that exact same way of like. I'm just GONNA. Tell you exactly what I'm feeling right now. What what? What is the point pulling punch? It's just GonNa Cost Hassle town the road, so it's amazing when you meet someone like that. So I didn't I. I wanted to talk about the series and and Michelle not so not in order to sort of just drag out all these poignant, and maybe even sometimes painful moments in in remembering her, but also to. You know just I wanted to reflect for a second with you that honestly as a nation because of this pandemic. We are more than one hundred and twenty thousand people who have died so far meaning meaning. You know millions possibly people who who knows someone who lost someone they love. And you know I was just hoping. Could we learn? Do you have? Anything from your experience of going through this in such a public way so. that. You can share with people. You, know I remember. A few days after Michele died, this was some late at night. Alice couldn't sleep. She'd come into bed, you know. She was like I can't issue is having nightmares. Of course I was having nightmares with have three in the. And we're sort of talking you know and my an Alice said when your mom dies. You're the best memory of her everything that you do is a memory of her. And I remember that moment I remember I wrote it down because. When we feel like we people that we love, or will we see? That even maybe someone that we weren't close to. They're gone. It doesn't. Ultimately do them. They would not want their legacy to be. Someone's life was ruined because of their absence Y- for for them. The a living tribute to them. Will. We're talking this hour with Patton oswalt. About the new HBO Docu Series It's coming out on Sunday will come back and talk more about parenting and humor in a pandemic as well. This is on point. Bird! This is on point meg. Choco Bharti. We are talking this hour with Patton Oswalt the actor and comedian his latest stand up specials called I love everything. It's streaming now on net flicks is also executive. Producer of I'll be gone in the dark. It's a six part Docu series premiering this Sunday on HBO based on the Book of the same name that explorers his late wife Michelle McNamara's investigation into the golden state killer again. That's premiering on HBO on Sunday now patent before the break you talked about we started talking about. Your raising raising your daughter, after after Michelle passed away, but I wanNA. I WanNa just play a little bit of a of A. Of Performance Pan a stand up performance that you gave which I think Alice actually plays like the key role here. Okay, so this is from March. Okay, you perform and tweeted. Pandemic, stand up if we can call it that from your front yard. Okay, so there were like barely any audience members Alice. Let's hear a little moment from that. ALL RIGHT FOLKS! Thanks for staying in tonight. Hope, you guys. Isolating and securing place for. This covert nineteen. I tell you. I didn't see covert one through eighteen, so I don't really know. What this is all about, but hey great time to catch up on your streaming. Oh Hey, how you doing there. How you doing today? All right. Let's. So, she's a tough crowd. She's a really tough crowd that was. I remember that was the very. the two days after the the lockdown was announced in we had gone to. Visit a friend to make sure they were doing okay and we just SORTA came up. We're doing of those social distance visits like. Are you okay with you know and then? To kind of spontaneous so I should just fill me doing. Stand up out on this lawn and then Marisa let's do like she did the cinematography. Let's start on you and then I'll I'll circle around our reveal how empty everything is and then we recruited hours to beat it. I just love the idea of. It could a 'cause comedians were addicted to addicted to what we do, so there were going to be you know. That's what that's. The first thing I envision was comedians. We're going to go on their front lawn ring because their circus pretty audience, but was also like no matter where we go, there will be a Heckler, and of course ours was perfect, is this. who takes time to stop. Let me how awful I am. which it, it's weird. A lot of my comedian friends were laughing to me about how the most comforting part of that video for me was the heckler early? Still there it is. That's the club. So, everything hasn't changed. Okay, good, we're we're GONNA make it. There's still people telling me sir. How is I? Mean? How is else doing? She's eleven now. I mean Alice's doing. Okay I mean I. Think for a lot of kids would bothers me. Is You know I'm still very very? I think like a lot of creative people one of one of the ways that you keep your creativity as you you kind of. Don't lose your child's perspective on things. You remember very strongly what it was like to be a kid, and what a kid's perspective life looked like when you know summers were end listen. It was an so to. See this generation of kids getting a summer taken away from them. I just wonder what the if there's going to be psychic damage down the road. If that's GONNA shape how this generation season does things, I hope that it shapes it. They find a way to shape it in a good way but that is something that weighs very very heavily on my mind like I'm doing what I can whenever I can tell a give her a summer. I don't really know I haven't figured out quite had do that yet because. I don't want to get on an airplane anywhere I don't WanNa. Go to a any kind of crowded public. Space, but you know. Go bike riding with masks. Try to do a treasure hunts in the in the house Sir I I. Don't know I'm just trying to. You WanNa. Give them those loose summer days. 'CAUSE I. think that's part of growing up is to have goof around time as a kid. Yeah, absolutely. And I. Mean I L I can see I can understand how this would be even more. This is on every parent or parents minds, and in addition mean in your case specifically. Alice's already been through so much. Can You? Can you just? I'm pausing here patent because I'm a mom, too, and sometimes parents do these weird sort of mental gymnastics where every once in a while. Maybe I'll speak for myself here come. What would I do? If what would I do if this sort of very carefully crafted? He, family unit that we have that, if a key part of that like just was gone with the keystone got pulled out. How would I hold this bridge? And I. Don't know it's like a self torturing mental preparation exercise I. Don't know what it is, but just sometimes I do that and yet. You had to live through that so I mean that first year after. After Michele died. How did you hold yourself together? I held myself to a lot of times I didn't out flat out. Say there were days when I could not hold it together where I I remember very specifically that Alice Mr, Dave, school, because I could not sleep, and then when I did go to sleep I didn't wake up till noon and I hadn't woken rapid hadn't gotten like. Oh, she's not going to school today because I could not get it together but then those days when you when you fall apart so profoundly. That's when you okay. You've got to function on a basic level here. You reach out to people. You have to. You are living with the even though yeah, there were there were I. You know just like any. Any married couple anyone when you meet someone that that further completes you. It makes you a better person than you are. You do have those dark thoughts of what if I lost person? How would I function? But in your mind? You're only imagining a hypothetical the actual having to live through it is so. You're absolutely not prepared on any way it. It's a it's a moment to moment terror so If it's any comfort, this is This is so not going to be comforting. You don't get through it. You're put through it. Like there are days where it gets so bad that it's almost like you have the you get that freedom from choice, really like well I. Don't I'm just GonNa get put through this like in a way I'm. I have the freedom of powerlessness here. I just have to be put through this. And the that's not. That's not a comforting thing to say, but it's true it. It really is like. I'm just GONNA exist today and there are days when you know. There was a lot of a lot of my the deeper grief I hid from Alice I. my reasoning was. She's already going through a nightmare. She doesn't need to see her dad crying. Just need to see her dad You know just scrolling through pictures. freekick having panic attacks just doesn't need that so I did everything I could to hide that from her now at least give her a rock. Yeah I wanted to ask you a little bit more about that because. That's that's one of the your takeaways from here that you that you've shared before, and it's it's I. I totally get it right because you said you WANNA be. The Rock the remaining rock for your child when there's when she experienced such a profound and wrenching las, but at the same time like there's. It's kind of it's a balancing. Act Right because. She was young so I get it maybe. She were older. It'd be different, but. There's also the the affirmation of the grief that she's feeling that she might see in you as you were struggling to. You know what I mean right exactly I mean I I did struggle with that. How do I show her? I mean I. Think there were ways without it being overt that I showed her again the day. The daddy wakes up at noon and it's just can't even think straight that you know. The I think that that was the only key. Daddy's going through something too, but I. I don't know what it was I I was trying not to mean when I the day that I told her. The day after Michelle. Pass had to sit down and tell her I burst into tears trying to talk to her because I just couldn't you know yeah, but after that I'm like I, don't WanNa add to this trauma. Kids. She's a little kid. She's had enough trauma now I am I can't add to it. Yeah, well. We've got actually a listener on facebook Jacob Evans who says Patton oswalt is a delight. He'd be curious, Jacobs curious to hear what keeps you going when things are rough. One way to keep yourself going when things are rough, if you are struggling with depression is to just be very open about a I need some help like I do weekly talk therapy I'm on antidepressants. There's no shame in that you. Those things help you because mankind develop those we you've clearly. We invited those for a reason. Why would you not take advantage of that but other ways I think to keep going is. Is is one thing that really helped me was well. How can I help someone else out there? There's nothing that makes you feel more present and alive as a person than when you're lifting someone else out up or if you're giving away some of your power that it is such an affirmation of alive, I exist in an I haven't affect on things, so look around maybe for someone else to help, even if it's not direct like tonight. Volunteers American I can contribute donates whatever it is, you know just. Checking on someone that you think might need help it. It sounds weird, but it really really helps. Did you learn anything? Or what did you learn about yourself as a father? Having to do this. I learned a as a father that you can do. You can royally screw up a lot of things and still be a good parent you can. There are times when you're like Oh. God isn't clean socks Oh. Man, I didn't I didn't get this form signed for school and you. Just you go in you. Do you very open about I didn't sign this thing. I'm sorry I'm late. Can I please get this thing done or Oh, God? I forgot to make her lunch I gotTA drive back to School when you screw up. A absorbed the blow roll with it and fix it. I suppose you're GONNA YOU'RE GONNA screw up as a parent. You're just going to happen. Tell me you're gonNA. Mean you're gonNA. Screw up as when you have when both parents are there. Yeah I'm sure you've had that where you guys like Oh. Did we just totally forget to do this like it's going to happen? Every day. Every Day that I had it happened to be last night where we had a little. Incident in my household and I did not respond in with my best maternal self. I know every parent is like I know exactly what? Afterwards after after I decided to finally get her out of taking some depressed. I was like okay, so that did not go as I would have wanted it. Then again, think of how when we were growing up the the the again. Well intentioned, but really dumb things are appearance in the seventies and eighties. You get through it. Everyone just doing the best. They can with what they have. Yeah. Absolutely. Okay, so let's hear a little bit more about How parenting or what? It's been like for you because there's also the issue now as of earlier this year about. Schooling so in a tweet from March you shared some of your home. Schooling method and methods, and here's this is Alice will hear Alice here? And you, she's working on a report about Cleveland Ohio and you decided to teach her about some of the city's connections to great comic book legends including Harvey P Cars a here it is. In fact in two thousand three. They didn't movie of American Splendor. Actually it came down to me and another comedian Tim Judah friedlander for the part of Toby Radloff who's Harvey's best friend? They went with. Judah you know Judy was good. It was good, but he looked just like them, so I guess that's as far as. Different to. Make Living Zach doesn't. Get a vaccine. Me I was A. Patent. Can you tell us? WHO. Also mean kind of making fun of myself. When emeritus points this out all the time, when out to start going off on these weird kind of riffs about pop culture and movies were at. She's like you're talking to your. Your daughter doesn't care about this. When she'll watch some movie, a read some graphic novel or now, who might well you know interestingly enough? There was three different like I'll district gambling about this office? Useless knowledge? It's in my brain. Emeritus has to kind of go. No one knows what you're talking about now. What are you doing so? I thought it'd be funny to make a video that way of my my horrible parenting teaching techniques. It'll be great if she ever takes a college course Trivia and Dan, that's my time to shine. I. Sorry, there's this happens. This is one of things about live radio I wanted to go back. There's something I should have asked a little earlier and I didn't I'm going to circle, back? About again that the first year. After Michelle died 'cause. Did you. Did you turn to comedy at all? During that time to help you an Alice, or was it just? A no-go zone. For me, it was just being present with her, and and just trying to like read to her and things like that. As far as comedy was concerned, I didn't do comedy for. I think like I didn't even think of doing Santa four or five months, and then it just got to like I. Don't know what else to do. And I remember went did an open mic thinking. I'm just GONNA. Do this so that it'll be. It'll be so horrible that remind myself that I shouldn't be doing comedy, but it was such a release for me. To go up in talk and again it was like this researching the life force so I kept. Going and then as far as watching comedy, you know what I really needed after. was. After Michelle passengers in all my microwave I needed absolute absurdity in June to comedy like There was a lot of Tim and Eric a lot of Eric Andre. Just nonsensical I mean abstract weirdness. That's what I wanted I want. That's what the because because nothing made sense to me. It was actually comforting to see people embracing the nonsensical and especially and I remember. I kept listening to a lot of early. Steve Martin albums Let's get small. Comedy is not pretty because I he was just pure absurdity. At and it was so comforting to me. That makes total sense to me because I feel like. You when when reality has ventured into the absurd like the only thing to, too. Is Absurdity I've felt that law in the pin this pandemic actually. Oh, I mean again. That's why I think a lot of the the the best comedy that's coming out in this pandemic is the absolute absurd I mean. Although in a weird way I'm sure you've talked about this to. This is new superstar Sarah Cooper. Who things the trump? Steph would so brilliant about her. Is that. Her joke, is she? She's almost playing someone who's trying to make trump look better, which only like highlights his the absurdity of what he's saying like. If she was there pulling faces being goofy like look at this dummy, you go okay your lip synching, but the fact that she's. She's almost. It looks like she's playing. Someone who's on trump's media team like okay. He said something really dump today. Let's have you. You're. You're very intelligent. Put together. Let's have you do it and it makes it look ten times worse. It's so brilliant. Well. We are talking this hour with Patton. oswalt the actor and comedian. Was a lot more when we come back to this point. This is on point Meghna Chakrabarti tomorrow on the show, we're going to be asking. What would American democracy look like reimagined for the twenty-first century? WE'RE GONNA be talking to some scholars who've actually done that mental exercise, and so we WANNA know. What do you think What is the State of American democracy? What bold ideas would you propose to improve the system of governance and the democratic institutions of the United States for the Twenty First Century? Call us at six. Six, one, seven, three, five, three, zero, six, eight, three, that six, one, seven, three, five, three, zero, six, eight, three with your questions and ideas about revamping American democracy. That's the show tomorrow today we are talking with Patton Oswalt. He's the actor and comedian known for his many film and TV roles, including the voice of remmy and Disney Pixar. Ratatouille by the way we just watched rewatch that in my family a couple of weeks ago, patent of the movie holds up. Up as beautifully today as it did, back in two thousand seven. Thank you. He's also been on ABC's. The goldbergs on CBS is the King of Queens on Veronica Mars. He's author of Zombie. Spaceship Wasteland book by Patton. oswalt and he's executive producer of I'll be gone in the dark, which is the six part HBO Docu Series Based on the book of the same name that explorers, his late wife Michelle McNamara's investigation into the golden state killer and that again. Again premiers this Sunday on HBO I wanted to get all that in patent, because it's your your long and rich career. Here is one of the reasons why we're getting all of this social media. Love for you here. Jamie Barrick cloth. Bear Clo- sorry. Jamie I, said your name wrong, but Jamie says the painting, the patron saint of nerds I will watch anything with this guy in it. Every done has been fantastic. Jamie good, thank you. Wow, I'll take it. Out Take it and Jin says totally enjoying the discussion about death and comedy. Thank you for this interview and my God. What a weird sentence! Totally join the discussion of death and. I think it shows the complexity of thought amongst our listeners here. Okay, and then how about this one social distancing Stephanie See, says thank you patent for Sharing Alice's words. My mom died about a week ago and found this so very comforting. I think she's referencing Alice's words about being the living memory of that you lost, so people are people are listening Patton. I also wanted to say that. Earlier in the show and we're playing some of the clips. Of You actually featuring alison? I laughed out loud. I have to say I just feeling that belly laugh. It was kind of a surprise I was like Oh. That's what this feels like. Haven't had this feeling in a long time I. do feel like all of us. Have had this sort of collective. Holding of our breath or just like suspended animation for many months now, and he was something as simple as the release of laughter actually is coming as prize yeah I mean. We've been whistling past the graveyard for so long That's terrible. Analogy US right now, but you know with all this death there. I mean it, it's. I think. The dead would want us to laugh. You know it's the. It's the. It's the tyrants who don't like the sound of laughter. So you know to go. We're going to live and we're GONNA. Fix this a lot of times that starts with laughter to not to sound dismissive of any of the horror. That's going on around us, but it. It is a cliche to say, but it's a release valve. If you don't have that I think people go insane. Yeah, that's what makes us subversive actually. One of the things. Oh, yeah, yeah, the the people in power, not crazy about comedy and laughter. But how okay, so we? Earlier in the show we were talking about how? The Best, you could do so far because of the pandemic regarding doing stand up standing outside in your front yard. How has not being able to have that direct connection with audiences during the? Affected the COMEDIANS. I can't speak for other comedians for me. It's been pretty bad. I mean. I I write. Ideas down in notebooks, but I. don't flush them out and tell him in front of a crowd, and they also don't flush them out to where I like going to be unless I'm hanging out with other comedians and we all do shows together in the afterward You can add to the end like I actually. Cut this is so weird. I called a friend yesterday. This brilliant comedian named Todd Glass and one of the last shows I did before the pandemic. He was a guest on it and I called him to tag joke that he had done that I saw him do. I mean I think five or six months ago? Just so that I could go thought of a little thing to add to your joke. I hope you don't mind me. Like you could tell that he had missed that to like just comedians trading ideas back and forth it was. It was like I needed a fix so I called them up just to give them a tag for his joke. It was it was just in saint like in a week I. I maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this is my. gen-x thinking there are there are. People. That can see a way around it i. don't see a way. Comedy works over Zoom or comedy works. Over may not stand up comedy. Mean podcasts are still. There's amazing podcasts out there. You know comedy. Bang Bang and Anything, like anything that Andy daily does anything lap Kaz. Does Dave made that work, but but for me I have to be in front of a crowd i. just have to be. Will you talked about in another interview that not having access to or not being able to perform like comedy clubs etcetera that you're actually you were seeing a collapse, their akin to what the collapse of the comedy clubs eighties. Is that do I have that right? There was there was a boom. There was a huge boom in the eighties, and it was a collapse, but that collapsed. Led to stuff lake people doing their own stuff and comedy and rooms like the Largo in you know rooms like the embar and stuff in New York like Fez and the time cafe, so there was something good came out of that collapse. There's a collapsed now. I think it's more economic. You know that collapse came from a glut of mediocrity, and people got sick of it, said the alt- stuff had to come start rising right now. This is just you know. The the clubs actually had gotten. Really amazing because they got taken over by the younger generation, they were booking way more interesting axe. So now the clubs themselves are just simply struggling because there's not bodies in them. You know buying things, so we will see what comes hopefully. Something good will come out of this right now. I'm just I'm also. aware enough to admit that I don't see what would. It could be and I hope that I hope someone can prove me wrong. Please somebody show me what I'm missing. Because I I need it. Yeah, well. I have to say even as as viewers watching comedians try to do the best work they can. onscreen without. Even knowing that there's the energy of the live audience there for television Comedians, it's a strange experience as a as a viewer right, if feel like that's all, we're trying to form a brand new different kind relationship between audience, and and the Comedians will, because the audience was part of the equation, they were part of the reaction because the how the audience reactor doesn't react changes, the flow the comedy, so when people are just putting their stuff out into the I'm looking at a tiny little. You know a lens on a laptop. I'm not shifting anything that I'm doing and there's something missing there. There's there's alchemy that's missing now. You said that you that maybe people younger smarter than you will figure it out on he always. They always to but buzz going to say that you've got. It figured out pretty well on twitter. At well yeah. I mean somewhat. Twitter is its own. Form I guess of. Writing in in stand up and comedy, and some people have really really mastered it I would say I'm pretty good at it. There's other people in my opinion. People like Just wack! Michael Drucker and people like that that are that are truly amazing form the writing in the and how they how they do things, but I adapted pretty well because I was always very regularly anyway, I guess. So yeah, it can twitter is its own beast. Its own someone just this morning. Speaking of Sarah Cooper. Every time she puts out a new video I re tweeted because it's the best thing out there and. After watching it. I think Ben Stiller today, said I watched this three times before realizing I'd watched it three times when he re tweeted. And I just. I retrieved clover over it. 'cause a Lotta Times. I've learned on twitter when you re tweet something. It actually gets it more of us. If you add a little comment on the top, like Oh my God, this is amazing. You know quote, tweet it and some. Woman I I I don't know her name, but she was like. Our men just unable to retreat something without adding. To. Like, thank you patriarchy like. Hell. There's the ways you can choose not like. God I'm I'm trying to say how brilliant I think this. I don't need you telling me how really what? Okay, so there's always those people that are just angry about. Speaking Mike. Drucker tweeted I. think There's a few months ago. Is like twitter? A place for you tweet like I like horses and your responses will be. What about zebras would about cows up? Your silence on hippos is very telling. Oh my God. I was wrong with you. Your. Your version of of the Patriarchy has four point six million followers. And I'm trying to amplify other voices H. No, thank you. So. How is your twitter? Who you are on twitter is that? Is that very similar to? Your your onstage comedy work because there's obviously a lot of there's a lot of politics on your twitter. As well well I mean yeah, I mean I. Don't do that much politics. My standup but twitter is more about reacting to what's going on. There is so much absurdity that I think a lot of times. The reason that there's so much quote. Unquote politics on my twitter is I'm almost doing a sanity. Check with the rest of the world like hey, you guys are all saying this to right like I'm not. Going insane right now I, just want to check to make sure that I just saw what I saw because we're also living in a reality where they're just blatant videos and an images of of things that are happening audio things that are being said, and then immediately like that's not what you heard. That's not what you saw. You GotTa go no I'm actually looking at this like this. Is this now? This feels like A. Stanley milgram experiment that being put through so I need to check in and have. Someone told me yes, you also saw that. While you're one of the I guess in a while that's gotten milgram reference. Hey Man NPR. I know the audience. He got through a Milliman. They're gonNA throw it. Shirley Jackson in there and got to throw in a Garett Kaiser boom. You're good, right? Well, it's not A. it's not a good NPR conversation unless we talk about people being told to how how how much voltage would you shock? You're a person on the other side of a screen. Actually that is NPR exactly. On mill weren't. Listen people are really responding to hearing. You we've got. We've got a cat. View says so talented, carrying and still humble. Thanks for all the Laughs Jessica, Gallagher Pile says. Thank you for this patent. Oswald is a perfect disarming role model for widowers and widows everywhere. It's his openness about grief that brought me a widow to his comedy. It's his honesty. That keeps me watching and listening. He's Jim and let's see here even more. Oh, how about the Sam Doing Does. He think he knows who the Zodiac killer is Zodiac killer in this case if he wants to answer just yes, or no, that's perfectly fine. No I. Do not know that unfortunately, that's not my wheelhouse. Although Michelle reread Robert Grace Midst over and over again that was one of her biding. A obsessions was who's Zodiac and WHO'S D. B Cooper? She was. She was like I'm GonNa Find Out Devi Cooper's. So that was also made. She was into crime. She knew all this up. She was the Jonbenet case she was on all those message for she knew all the slang. So you know all that that whole world she she knew that way better than I did So. I WANNA play one more clip here. No I'm sorry the Zodiac killer. Yeah, that's Ted Cruz six. Putting my serious journalists back on here. I WANNA play one more clip here because this is actually a staff favorite. This is from NBC's parks and recreation. Garth London. And, you're determined to Rent Leslie. No played by amy, Poehler of course from amending a town charter. And you launched into a filibuster about star wars and other things. Let's listen. Hand Down from the twin sons of tattooing. We are now close on the mouth of the Sarlak pit after a beat, the gloved manned laurean armor gauntlet of boba FEC grabs onto the sand outside the Sarawak pit, and the feared bounty hunter pulls himself from the maw of the sand beasts. This is exactly and we realize that he survived his fall during the battle at job `as Palace ship, okay, so that's just twenty nine seconds of something that goes on for what eight minutes is that right? Oh God it was such a. They did not yell cut all I was supposed to do is talk for ten seconds, and they all said don't y'all cut. See How long ago the directors and the writers, and so I'd parks and REC is one of my favorite shows ever. It's one of my favorite shows. and I so didn't want to embarrass myself or get fired, or whatever I didn't hear cut so I just went going. Apparently, my you know the the the classic fight or Flight Response Yes, apparently I have a third response which is trivia dumped. Dumped every bit of nerd information in my head and here's how brilliant Amy Poehler if you watch the whole eight minute clip she. I. She does that thing where he's trying to interject because she sees how crazy this is going to be. Then she starts to get into it a little bit. When I say that lay is having an affair with Lando she goes away to Middletown. No and then she says this great line, which is the female characters, a little underdeveloped, which so nails that whole Comic Book Sci-fi? World, and when entertainment weekly did a poster of that pitch. They've made a poster with every element of pitch. As it was going to come out, that was tagline. Amy's brilliant rift tagline. She's such a genius. Well Patton Oswald of course is the actor and comedian who can do an eight minute long trivia brain down. All they have to say action. He's also executive producer of all begun in the dark, a six part HBO Docu series that Premieres this Sunday June twenty eighth patent. This has been such a pleasure to talk to you. Thank you so very much. Thank you from one parent to another during the pandemic stay strong. Magnet Talker Bharti. This is on point.

Michelle McNamara Alice Mr Patton. oswalt Hbo Patton Oswald Sarah Cooper Hbo Michele executive producer twitter CBS producer Disney Pixar Amy United States Queens Los Angeles Nina Simone remmy Liz Garbis
# 412 - Patton Oswalt & ME

Bertcast's Podcast

1:24:28 hr | 8 months ago

# 412 - Patton Oswalt & ME

"Hey guys brand new podcast. It's the broadcast for cruisers. One of three podcasts. Today out is a brand new two birds one cave. I think a new bill birt's out and and then I drop this one. I got hazy. Trae up this week. He's got a new special coming out on Friday on showtime. But we are here today to talk about my big white whale. I've been trying to get patent on the podcast for a long time. I'm a huge fan of Patton. Oswalt says you'll find throughout this podcast. I think look. I'm not embarrassed of the fact that I'm in love with stand up comedy and I'm in love with great comics. I Love Great. Comedy and patent is one of the best I I saw him at the El Rey Zach Alvin actors doing a show there and I went to go see Zach talking. Obviously huge fans axis is before they started doing the comedian's comedy. One of my favorite documentaries ever I watched it when you think it was just in. It was on comedy central and you had to watch chunks of it And I went to Watch Zach. Dare Zach was I think. One of the Knicks Sportsman's wrestling a watermelon. It was like a really weird show. It was a really weird show but patented just straight stand up and he told this joke. That fucking floored me. I mean really honestly floored me. It was about his. Dvr We talk about joke a tad bit here but Yeah I've been trying to get him on the podcast for a long time. A huge fan. He is one of the best writers and Bill Byrne Doug Stanhope have such an ability to grab phrases and make them so real. I wish I was smarter than I use. Bigger words to describe this but they can sue mayes a situation or feeling. Provoke a a moment in life with phraseology. That just blows me away. It's my favorite thing of standup. I love it so much. I wish I could do it more. I just I just don't I just don me look. There's a lot of things I wish it'd be better. Patents just amazing comment. We talked about him being on the King Queens. A little bits. We talk about if you don't know when this comes up and I don't think I was clear but I'm feeling a lot of people know patent lost his wife. I think about a year and a half two years ago. Talk about that kind of quickly. We talk about morning talk about that very quickly and then we at the very end. I talk about his new wife. I don't think I say that I'm talking about his new. I think I just ask him if he wants to. Movie She in when we were kids and so if you are a little confused at the end that's what I was talking about. Today's podcast is brought to you by teach Hanley. I started noticing those having problems with my skin older. I got. I felt like I feel like I felt like I would get these little breakouts in my beard and I would notice. Summit started growing my beard higher and higher my face a lot of people lately namely Thomas that I've been looking a lot better a lot of people said I've been looking a lot better and I think that's because I'm using tease emily. Everyone knows I have weird cleaning habits what I do is I keep this scrub the t. Shanley scrub out by the outdoor shower have shampoo and the tea Shanley Scrub. I love scrub sales blown away by the scrub. It makes my face feel so fresh. You're only supposed to use if product twice a week all the enough. I get super excited when I know that I am. It's my turn to start using the product. I've been using t Hanley skincare. The past probably seventy days. I think they gave it to me right when I got into quarantine. I've never felt or looked better in my face. They've got free. Us shipping standard no coupon code required. They ship to most other countries as well and since teach handling sells directly to the customer. You can get t. Hanley's high quality skin care products for super affordable price because Taylor sponsoring the podcast. They're offering my listeners. A great deal. Just GO TO TEASE DOT COM SLASH. Burke cast that's T. E. dot com slash burke to claim your offer and get started for just twenty five dollars. I'd like to thank all our sponsors today. You'll hear we have a few mid rolls so bear with us. Everybody just pays the bills and in times like these. I'm sure everyone understand that That that you gotTa do what you can do. Pay The bills around here. Listen we're trying to make a new podcast studio. I got big guests coming and this is one of the man. I'm telling you I'm so excited about this podcast. I hope I don't geek out too much. I hope you guys don't look like Jesus Christ. Burt get a fucking room But I'm just a huge fan of his. He has just had such an amazing career. I didn't even talk about movie. He did the fan which was when he played a A. I think it's called. The Fan was called the fan. It was only played in New York giants Fan. Who kind of lost his shed a little bit of such a great fucking movie. I talk a little bit about the Comedians of comedy We talk a little bit about nerd culture about how it's like what it's like having daughters to talk about being a parent a tad bit too. Great fucking podcast. It's a really great fucking podcast. Big Sam the biggest fan big San big fan big fan. My Bad Yeah it's a great podcast. You'RE GONNA love it we've got. I'm going to run through the list of once. We got back logged Put the brakes on podcasts. For a little bit because I am fucking overhauled does so many guests. We got one night with Joe Buck and Oliver Hudson. We got one with David Wayne. We've got one this one patent tomorrow. We're GONNA really relate ray release a Zeus trae. Who's got a special airing Friday night on showtime we got a podcast with Marc Norman. John Reap Jay Pharaoh Jessica Curse on Matt is men. I mean we're locked and loaded. I'm trying to put out as much content as possible for everyone. I got a big announcement coming up that I bring up in some of these podcasts. I haven't really officially announced and I will let you the second I do Do Announce I'll let you know. Obviously you know that he's got a new special streaming right now on Netflix. It's called I love everything. Ladies and Gentlemen Dow Further Ado stand up comedian author actor. Don't think he has a podcast with a brandon is special on Netflix. It's called I love everything. Ladies and gentlemen that novel where are you in your screening room? Yeah where are you? I'm in my man cave by the way if that doesn't define the two different men right there I have I am. I am consistently all the things I love are. The things comics love to make fun of men about like. I am Kevin James from Queens. Well I mean this is all I have is a Is a movie nerds. Version of a man K. I just just watching movies. That's what I like doing. I've got my criterion channel and I'm happy so and it's not I get just as wound up a about. This shit. Is People get wound up about sports and wrestling? It's it's literally. It's the same nerdiness. It's just different. You'll try to write. Can't judge people on like what their nerdy about because the exact same energy. I tried to write a joke about the last dance. Jordan documentary. Being game of thrones for Sports I game of thrones was such a I mean you were one of the guys that I remember held like game throw nights is yes I did. And by the way Sports Dot. I don't really why don't watch sports as it happens but sports documentaries. I Love I've watched every thirty for thirty that that Muhammad Ali documentary on. Hbo Any sports documentary. I watched all of them. Adam Corollas racing documentaries on Netflix. I loved that world because the personalities are so goddamn crazy. Yeah Oh one hundred percent because they have to be they have to be kind of crazy in order to win big to believe that they're God's giving it's fascinating that do you think it's fascinating that in a weird way our culture now in and I say this because when you were going this never would have happened when you were a child but our our our cultures now celebrate the same intensity people have sports with as the same intensity they love a comic books and and and and star wars and fantasy and and movies and literature. Isn't that crazy well? But I wonder is that because the our cultures away or because in the seventies sports were where the money was so it made sense the people wanting to get people feverish about the super bowl the NBA championships. Because and then they couldn't figure out a way to monetize people being in the comic books and then when the technology caught up and they could make spiderman swinging around and Wolverine claws pop out and they already had the model from decades of making sports fans. Go crazy and they they it feels they put the same model on the superhero films and Superhero Culture. It's I I went to. I'd never I'm not a big comic Book Guy. I'm not a big a nerd. Culture Guy. Just wasn't my daughter's oddly. Enough are both obsessed one's obsessed with the anime and was obsessed with comic books. I mean really. Oh Oh yell yeah but you know what it is patent. Is that the same way. I don't I don't know your relationship with your father and but I'm assuming for some reason I'm assuming because it's DC. I think I know it Virginia but But it's like the way that maybe fathers didn't embrace us as children when our personally started to shine. I had I had a great avenue in nervous meltdown. Earn MELTDOWN COMIC BOOKS as a comic to lean in and go. Hey my daughters are into some shit. Can you help and man and say what you want an I say what you want about? Sometimes the snobbery of culture and there you can see that places man every fucking person. I've ever read. A comic bookstore has been cool shit to me going. I don't know what I'm looking for. I just need help like Enron. They've been amazing. Umbrella Academy is our thing My oldest daughter is obsessed with umbrella. Kademi the runaways. Like all these great and it was just cool. Dudes and Chicks Comic Bookstore is GonNa come on. Let's go for a walk and walk around and show knew what they're into or if like this. Oh let let me lead over here. Because I've got eight of the things dilip. Yeah I mean I also there's a lot of You and I you know. We grew up in an era. Where sometimes your parents would force their likes on. You end my mom and dad. Neither of them were science fiction that my dad was big sports guy. My mom you know was just didn't care about any of that so I found what I was supposed to find by myself. So I'm very much about. My daughter isn't really ended superheroes all that much and are not going to be a jock dad about superheroes with you're gonNA watch every eventual you're gonNA understand. I showed her the first star. Wars was it's it's I don't care that's I'm not going to be that guy that wants to make a carbon copy of themselves. That's never fun so I don't do that. I just I I let her find her own thing yet. The I if I you know it's one of the cool things I think happened. Is People being allowed to going? Hey I'm into that bit transgendered Homosexuality you name it. Just the coolest thing is that people can go on into that and not feel like they're gonNA get shamed for the dude that used to cut. My Hair. Grew up really closeted and really scared in Washington state back in the seventies and eighties and it was rural farmland. And so he. He was gay but he kept quiet and played football and beat up kids that they thought were gay. The other jocks like protect himself and was blackout drunk and hated himself and then he moved on to l. a. and came out of the closet now. He's married totally happy but he has this nephew who goes to his old high school and he's very overprotective of him because nephew very openly very defiantly gaelic. Don't care knows it. And so my friends only reference point is what you get your ass kicked if you're gay in high school so he's really like is anyone fucking with you in high school and he said he went back home for Thanksgiving one year and was asking his nephew like A. Is Anyone Messing with you? Because you're earning high school in your very open about your sexuality and his nephew it's pretty rough man. They're not they don't treat us very well. Nothing's really changed. My friend got really defensive is like what are they doing what they're doing all talk you through well are gay. Lesbian Trans Club wanted to have their prom the same night as the regular prom. They're making us wait. Two weeks to have our prominence just absolute oppression in. My friend had to had to stop several going. Go Fuck. Are you kidding when you have a Bra? Like they was like those different shifting things with so hilarious that he added he was suddenly the Yudhoyono know how hard we had it now. That yet the stuff that used to be such a big deal for. Us growing up not only. Is it not a big deal? It's not a deal at all. You couldn't even do like it's weird to do TV shows now where I I've noticed. 'cause a lot of the young adult shows that my daughter watches my daughter's in the fourth grade and they have characters that are gay lesbian and it's not a plot point. It's not it's not a story anymore just like you some of your friends or gaze some of them are like no one gives a shit anymore. It's just not a thing did I. I have a lot and I think I wonder if you fight about this on with the within yourself on stage. So many people have ideas of who you are politically What I know that I I know that I have. That's sometimes like lately. I I wrote a joke about I had a dream that I that Kendall Jenner said I can affect to their if I could catch him fuck elephant and I was like it was a dream I rolled over imbibe woke up and I was gonNA tell my wife. He started flirting with. I'm not into it and then my head was like I was just about a fucking elephant in a dream then here. I don't WanNa start my wife but then I was like I was like I. You know what? Let's I share that on stage. That might not be like there might be fans that don't get it. So I kind of edit myself. Sometimes I is a multi-layered question but happening when you right. Is that your fans almost expecting from you. That sometimes you can't deliver like you. I don't know what you think I am. I am just the dude. And how do you do it? Well my thing. Now that I keep really hammering to people it's As far as like a little correctness goes in this whole woke culture. We have to have two things the same time. We HAVE TO HAVE CONTEXT. Look at the context. Things never ever ever lose context and we also but we also need evolution so you can't have There are certain an eye of their stuff in my first First couple of albums that I look back. Go Google very freely throwing around the words retard one of my favorite patent one of my favorite jokes and I. It's I was just talking to about this literally an hour ago and it's I don't know how implictly correct it was by. Just remember voices but your dvr joke is one of the greatest fucking jokes one of the greatest honestly patent. I can tell you where it was when I saw it and and I was blown away at how she onstage. How comfortable he wants. H How everything's did seem to come and as a professional comedian. I was floored at that joke. It's one of my favorite jokes. But yes again. You run it through the trainer of today's political correctness and it may catch some snags. But it's not a mean joke no also again. Keep the context in mind. If you're looking at something that things almost twenty years old so it absolutely you can hold it up and go dude. And then let let the other before cancelling them let the other person go. Oh Yeah I did know any better. I've evolved if the person then dig those. I apologize for nothing you know. He's like it's a freaking joke. This'll idea of like no apologies. No regrets you. That's impossible you're always going to make fuck ups in your life and you got just go. Oh God my bad. Yeah again putting looming on people's twitter feeds and instagram feeds. You know If they say something awful two weeks ago yes maybe. Let's look at that but if you dig up someone's tweet from two thousand eight give them a little bit of room to go. You know what yes. I shouldn't have said that I am is totally. No better sorry Fi. You know so again. It's going to be a constant balancing act between give the people that weren't woke when they needed to be some context but then but then also the people that are maybe fighting against the so called people in the so called P C. Police look at what they're asking you. Go Hey maybe I could evolve. Maybe all they're asking for our our Better Dick Jokes. They're like no one saying no Dick Jokes no gay jokes. They're like find an even more brilliantly vicious way to do this man. That's what I love is. There's nothing better for comedian and having stuff you're not supposed to say and then you get to find amazing ways around it so it the two worst things are anyone can say whatever they want will. Now there's no risk or don't say these things and everyone just immediately shuts down and no one goes away. The best thing is that that great sweet spot in the middle. Where like I know. I'm not supposed to say this. So had we find the middle ground here in? It's perfect. That's so much fun. Someone told me one time. Jim Jefferies has a joke about Oscar. Pistorius and they're saying I love this joke. 'cause he's just doing a disabled job really Mo- but but he's tricked us into going. He's outraged at the murder of this woman. It's I don't remember the joke but it's you're right finding a work around it. Almost is like the real treat in comedy. Yes I remember. Email Phillips or one of the Best Joke Writers Alana Book Bass Joke Writers? Ever redeem like on another level. You like they should just and by the way they should teach his jokes to beginning comedians. Don't try this at first. You need to work up to this. This is where you'll get to. He had the best Woody Allen Joke I've ever heard which is an imagine it in his voice where I'll try to do voice. A little bit goes soon. He was years old when Woody Allen I met her and he waited till she was eighteen to have sex with her patients of Saint. Like there's so many levels that they're like the closeness of him saying it just bad kind of all. I just love those work arounds. Yeah I do too I had. That's what people should celebrate. Now is the workaround thank you. Pc Culture for giving us the ability to do the work around now because then you really get those startling moments. You'll going all God. They wow you know and you know what. I would argue comedy as always had that standard to an extent. Yes yes if you did a lazy just hurt. Someone's feelings kind of joke. I remember Colin Quinn. Calling out someone in an article one time going. Hey we get it. You say you're just a Dick Joe Comic but strive for more and then we'll let us call you. Dick Joe Comments God. That's great well that's like it always bums me out when a comedian is innate. I I just believe that the best audience always every year performing in front of at that moment and comedian. Today's with they will go well. We're in roanoke this week. So you don't really make. These people are all talking to how about? Let them maybe rise to the occasion trip? Every audience like they're going to surprise. You don't have expectations for them. I mean there's there's brilliance and quirkiness everywhere don't just go our Tuscaloosa so we'll just give them Dick Jokes giving you deserve the best stop. That's the thing that really blew my mind about and and I have to say this is a a I Mike Channel Markers in Florida so yours going out to the ocean yours channel Margaret Know that you would be safe and to kind of give you guidance of where things could also go. Comedians of comedy is the greatest. I I might have watched that a hundred times I. It was my guilty. It was my warm blanket The same way. Fletch was when I started college when I had kids and I wanted to do the road and I didn't. I was barely doing the road doing some work but I I was in my apartment. I would open a bottle of wine and I would just start it beginning to end. Watch the entire. I want to say it was a six part. It would they did it in episodes away. I got it. Yep episodes in Netflix did the actual documentary so the documentary lead into the TV show. It was that idea of I wanted to show. Hey do you WanNa do this? This is what comedy on. The road is like there is work to it. There is no actual just Dole Labor every day before you get to do the fun stuff but it was also this great show of that and you and stanhope and I would argue Tom. Berry Cross Todd Berry David Cross. Were the first ones to say. I to really work outside the system. Yes they were the first ones. I was very very much inspired by todd. David of but you as well. That whole tour was worked outside of the system. But y'all give them credit as well they were the ones that you guys were all at the same kind of touchstone where you're like. I don't need to do comedy clubs. I can do this my own way. Yeah I gotta I gotTa go find my audience because I it also came out of me. It was partially my thought. I was very lazy. I gotten on to King of Queens. Which is a really funny. Show a really successful show. But it was eight o'clock on Monday night. Kinda family show. It was very funny but I was starting to get headlining gigs. And people coming to see me. Who knew me from King of Queens but didn't know the actual stuff that I did and I was lazy going yet. Give me the headline engaged. Rooms pack gotTa do any work and then I realized no. You need to maybe start. Educating your audience it can't just be you show up in there it is. It's got to be you know. Give and take back put. So that's when I started developing the community to come and it was also very and I'm sure you've had this to where I had to circle of friends. Brian and Zach Maria. That I thought weren't being served by the comedy clubs. Why all thought were brilliant. And who were really putting their heads against the clubs structure. Let's get them all out of here. Let's go rock clubs in music clubs little indie stuff and that's in the and then I you know it again. I was inspired by what David Cross. And then it's very. It makes me very feel really good to see other. Comedians started doing that as well and and really good voices started building and then I think that's kind of what started happening also with podcast. A lot of comedians are going. I need longer to get to where I'm going like. My my stuff is not that simple so I need this format and so people like you and and Bill. Burr have just really thrived in this environment. I'd like to thank our sponsor whoop whoop is a fitness wearable that provides personalized insights on the performance of. Your sleep. How your bodies recovered and how much stress you put on your body throughout the day from workouts and the normal stressors in life. It is the best fitness tracker. Have ever used in this month. This may being mental health awareness month and the current situation. 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That no matter what. You're into box awesome. Has You covered from style and grooming goods bar wear to cooking tools and outdoor gearbox? Balsam has carefully bill collections. For every part of your life get started take the quiz at some awesome dot com. Your answers will help them. Pick the right box of awesome for you. They released new boxes every month across different categories. It's free to sign up and you can skip months or canceled anytime. Each box costs only forty. Forty five bucks and has well over seventy dollars worth of gear inside right. Now get twenty percents off your first monthly box when you sign up box of awesome dot com and enter the code burt at checkout. That is box of awesome dot com and the code is Bert for twenty percent. Off Your first box your that is said so perfectly is that I i. I have a struggle with writing joke on twitter. I really do but I can. I can tell you the joke because that's what I do. I really have a hard time and even when my joke books are all just one word. It's like you know goats and then I'm like well then. Let me ask you this because my jokes are also one word or like a content a couple of sentences and then I got to go in front of an audience and start working it out. So have you been struggling now? That all the clubs are close. Like I missed the comedy store. And the Largo in the Improv and the Virgil really really badly. Because that's I went out to work my stuff out. Yeah I miss. I'm I'm having a really hard time. Everything I write is one word and I know the way I wanted to but even still I find myself going into my notes on my phone and then saying it the way I want to say it because I'm like don't forget. This is how the like because I may read a what time is it. But I won't know how I intend the joke to be Ocean I never thought of that you're right the inflection alone can be a new angle to the joke. Wherever I I'll be honest with you I when I when I when this comes back the one thing I really I really feel like I've been lazy with stage time in L. A. I'm on the road nonstop and one of the one of the things I think the com- definite compliments I'll pay you. Is that watching guys like yourself. And many other guys in what you would all Call the alternative scene was kind of how I I realized that it didn't have to be set up punch for me right. I'd hard time fitting in entirely because I just like I said I'd write a word down and I knew what I wanted to sound like and I just speak it and it wasn't like setup punch although I have a very a bro Comedy Body and face. I always feel like I would. I would love to try some of my material in like places like Largo or or or the Virgil or different places to I did. I did a spot one time. A machine story. I tell I don't know if you've heard a bit about getting involved with rush mafia and I told her one time at nervous meltdown and it was a completely different story because they were like comedy. Fans radio listen and they're like willing to go with you and you're like Oh. This isn't just a bunch of drunk Europeans this I don't I don't need to rush to keep the audience's attention I can actually take some time and do some stuff. Yeah I mean that that kind of I again. There's risks both ways though the mainstream clubs. I Love Them. Because that's where you edit an own but the risk in only the main clubs is you begin to have that same kind of impersonal rhythm. Because like you said I've got to keep these people's attention in the out rooms where you get to write and explore more but there is a danger there too in this happen to a lot of Comedians in the Largo Days. Which is the audience is so there for you almost to a fault. Sometimes that you don't learn how to add it and you think that everything that I remember. I forgot who said it. Oh Mitch Hedberg was on stage. The Largo one night and he was doing a lot of killer jokes and a lot of on jokes that even he wouldn't say that loud. It's like they're just not there yet. He's working on them but the crowd was going nuts. E coli for everything and and then Mitch stopped and he goes aware of any comedian. Who writes for a half an hour and says they have a half an hour of material? Which was his way of going a killer? Half an hour set at the Largo is probably about eight to nine minutes of solid material on the road. Like you know what I mean like your upstream from the gold strike so maybe keep it. Just keep it in perspective. You know what I'm saying. That's what I think is so great about you and what you do is that you can take something I hope received this as much as competent as it is meant. You can do observational material at times but it has such your thumbprint on it. But it doesn't seem as observational material your references when you said I I. I just started watching special this morning. First of all fucking amazing everything everything about it is everything I love about a fucking special. I hit play and you tell a joke and it started and I'm like that's what I'm talking about. That is my bet is my that is my barometer whether or not a specialist. How quickly do we get into this? But one of the things I love is. Is You talk about the color of the cereal boxes and you call them hospital white and I go. This is your this. Your this is an observational material about growing older and getting cereal. But you'd such your own fucking thumbprints through like any just when you say you're up steam from Goldstrike. How fucked like look I. Just I read a Lot. I watch a lot of movies. I like listening to people how talk different areas different accents and there are just certain phrases that hop out and they just laid limit my head until I need them like. I trust that something that I hear remember. Stephen King said he actually doesn't keep a notebook if if I did status head. He knows it's not worth pursuing as way doesn't bother writing things down and how trained he is now in. I mean I still writes up down. But there's other stuff I trust that when the time comes. That thing will leap forward. And that's that came from. I write I write them down and I and I think I write them down in like there's a there's a commercial for num num so weight loss. Apapa and this Guy Goes. This is just a struck me funny because it's the only way to say this respectively goes. I'm a third generation candy maker and all I could think was all the different ways. He said it without the bra like with them going. It sounds weird when you go. I work in the chocolate factory. Like hold on comes out wrong. Say it again. So the third generation candy maker gave it a little bit and so I just wrote it down. I go somewhere third-generation candy maker or just the idea that you're a candy maker at all is is occupationally but I always wondered about. You is because you have such great mean. I I remember reading was it. Where Wilson Send lollipops yes? Yay World's lollipops. Yeah I remember reading that and I a scene in my head all the time all the time and I don't even know if how accurate this is about a kid sitting behind the booth a movie theater reading his book to himself just reading and I and I read that and I visualize it so well that I went dammit. Patent is in apparel in nineteen thirty five. He would have been a just a novelist living in France. Like like. It's you're such a great fucking writer. Thanks man thank you. I mean I again being a great writer America. Legit fucking family. I have everything. Thank you Yeah I mean it comes from a I read a lot and there are certain and I read everything I don't like I'm I'm GonNa read science fiction horror. I always get the notes not an amazing to learn how to write. Read sports writing every year. I get the America's best sportswriting compilation sportswriting as some of the best phraseology. And some of the best like there's certain words that pop differently in your Ed. No like great comedy. Words are words like cancer hat. I don't know what it is. But that just their their their stronger and they land harder you know so I mean you know that it's just an instinctual thing that you learn over the years so you embraer have such a youtube specifically have such a stop in the back of the club and hit another comic. San Hope has the same thing. Yeah you go God. Damnit man is is the the the the quickness the quickness of getting to the point with so few of words that are so colorful? Yeah we'll people like Berhe Have that thing where you'll watch them. And then you'll SUBCO- you'll very quietly. The comedians will repeat back the punchline just to hear what it sounds like coming out of your skull go. It's almost like hey let me play that guitar for a second. Okay all right I gotta like you just WanNa hear how that feels because fucking exactly what it is. Yeah and I. I remember like people like him rain. Regan all left Tompkins there. Those words midwood where when they say something you just Kinda go. I mean to say a shit that was like you feel how good it feels like coming out of your at all. That feels good. That is not expired that that has said so perfectly. That is exactly I've done. I've done that with stanhope of denial with you. I've done that with. It's amazing that is other comics. It's like you're GonNa want to try that guitar. God you're so like well stanhope especially is so aware of it. There are moments. There's certain punch of his re. You all hear him smacking his lips as he says it. He's so happy that he's about to say this phrase like Oh here comes to really juicy by the stake here we get there. There's actually a moment like that and I was very very proud of myself is a bit of a Brag News Special. Have of phrase You don't want some ropy fitness or climbing all over you. I use the phrase ropy fitness or those guys at work out too much where it's like to healthy analysis on attractive anymore like night. You've creepy and That was one of my stanhope moments from like. I cannot wait to say when when that phrase came to be then. I didn't when that at the Improv Dana Gould commodities like you just went roby fitness or like. He was so happy at those three words together. Donegal's those guys they just has those perfect lip smacking little owns right there. Then a gold. It's funny man there you get. I think we can all appreciate the like the Dana Girls when I love when he gets to a point where he does something and then has to explain why he did that to the audience and why it's comedic value was under appreciated and yet and you're just sitting in the back going you you you just broke down something. I do on stage and I didn't know why I did it. I just do it then. You broke down the theory of it right and you're one hundred percent correct everything you just said you absolutely nailed an indisputable what you just said you're right and that'll be my head from now. He wasn't when you when you first started when you first started. Was that when the split with the all kind of BRO now. Bryce say bro Comics where they are. We are now more but like the all in the more Can't be seen the more like club scene. Was that one. That was no when I started. It was weird. I started an actually fortunate that I did. I started nineteen eighty eight. I would be my first date was the same night as Chapelle time on stage was a July eighteenth nineteen eighty eight. He was fourteen years old and was that in. Dc GARBAGE COMEDY CLUB IN WASHINGTON DC AT. He was fourteen years old and went onstage. It looked at felt like he'd been doing it for thirty years he just was Bam. It was just amazing but I started just as the boom was starting to end so there was still this ghostly feeling of comedy clubs even Mediocre Comedian can make fifty to one hundred grand a year as is anti killing. You say if you could say good evening ladies and gentlemen for time in the early eighties you could make one hundred grand a year like they just needed. Warm bodies didn't give a shit so I saw people that had gotten kind of lazy and leaned on the same forty five minutes and overspent because in their minds. Like I'll be making you know five grand a week forever and then. Suddenly every club is gone and watching older comedians. Getting houses repossessed owed so I learned very early. A everyday's a rainy day in this business just or whatever you make like you've made half a bat but the other half way who earned. I also saw the frustration of starting comedy when so much was already taken as a given like well. When do comedy you have to do this? You have to do this. You have to dress this way. You GotTa talk this way and then when it all collapse and I saw these people just kind of set adrift. And then I moved to San Francisco in ninety two. That was when I saw the beginnings of the so called Sandwich were comedians. They just wanted to do it even if they had to have day jobs like they just wanted to be on stage doing their own thing and that kind of built that scene up from there and weirdly enough even though if you're calling it like the Bro Comics or the club comics but those guys the so called broke comic still came out of the same motivation of WanNa do this no matter what so to me. Like the Largo seen or You know the comedians accommodate is for gang fest or anything else. Which is let's build our own thing. You're on our own crowd and I anything doesn't matter if I agree with it with with them. Politically your subject matter. That doesn't matter. I love the fact that creative people are like fuck it. I'll just do it myself. That always makes me excited because it means the industry's really vital. You know you're it's amazing you did you. I mean I I I saw you as both I never saw you as one of the other but because I would watch you do material that would kill any room and wear whatever the fuck you wanted to wear. Clothes weren't important to you and again I remember. It was a that that There was like well. It just wasn't my crowd and I. I think it was Louis. Ck said to me any make any crowd your crowd that job. It doesn't matter who you're in front of you make any crowder crowds so I always just kind of kept that In mind but again in the mid eighties comedy was very frost but it was dead because it was a very profitable narrow Cookie Cutter Thing. That people just expected to get the same prompt every time. Now comedy is a little more precarious. But it's never been more alive you know it's very very hard to make a living as a comedian and the people that are doing so feisty and committed and you know yes sometimes are at each other's throat huge adults but that's what happens when really creative opinion people get together. There weren't any massive battles going on during the comedy boom because it really just when you go in there you talk about airline food dogs and cats and then you make your paycheck ego home now. It's this really amazing Sometimes it's a battlefield but never not fascinating. This podcast is brought to you by Omaha steaks. I've been a fan of Amman stakes. 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I'd like to do multi Cam just because I think I would really enjoy it. But if I never D- multi-candidate guess fine but Milton came as so much fun our best when it's being done well working with Kevin James. That dude he to me is like Jackie gleason and Danny Devito. Those guys who are. It's really hard to be a great TV actor. Because of all forms of acting it's the most unnatural way to deliver jokes in pause and make it seem organic and those those guys Kevin especially just made it seem real and and could get laughs with the most subtle stuff even though it looks like he was going big. Do these little. He's those guys who's he seems easily big and bulky but he's weirdly balanced and agile and has almost like ballot quality to him. So it's it's kind of off setting like oh I didn't know he was so like coordinated. It's amazing Z. That and he's just he's amazing. Do we met. And what a great cast. Lear remedy is a fucking monster. Yeah is aiming monster. They don't make they don't make that anymore no emmy she took on. Goddamn churches. Tell me so awesome. She told me a really funny story. I was teasing her about battlefield. Earth came out that came out while we were working on Kingdom Queens was like why are you must be real excited for a movie coming out And she started laughing they had us go a premiere last night. It was like up in some theater like way up. Ray take trams and stuff to go up there for the theater was did. They put us back on. The tramway takes to the after party and get us all gushing about the movie and she goes you know I have never seen so many people come out of a movie. See the trams. They're going to take him to the after Party and then get them on camera going. It's the best science fiction. They're they're all running away in like she has me and all. My friends like walked down through the mountains of La. Avoid having to be on camera on al-Qaeda these scientologists trooping through the woods. I avoid having to give a good review which is just at such a great visual. Helje than in Stiller was on that Jerry Stiller would come into a room he would get he would get a laugh on his setup like in other words he was so funny at how he could deliver everything. I remember he came in. It was seen in the first line as he walks in a kitchen as hello Douglas and again no joke sentencing but the way he said it got a laugh and almost derailed the scene because they had to read it was just he was such a master or is that your first job. Was that your first big job. My first my first paid job was as a video store clerk on. Signed BELT IN ONE. Nine hundred four One Line Got My after card But King of Queens was my first steady. Like Oh my God. I'm a cast member of a series. Here I go. It was it was the best I had so much fundamental and all the writers were the biggest donors. We would all go to Vegas for the weekend. We rent a bus and I'll go massive poker tournaments every Friday night after rap shooting. It was just the best so fun. I'm always curious. I noticed this shallow question but I feel like the things that Everyone's always curious about money but like what was the for me how it's money or making on King of Queens unless you want to but What was the first like did you? I remember I remember going over to Kevin. James is apartment during king of Queens and he had a Cherokee Jeep Cherokee and I had already bought a expedition like the brand new Eddie. Bauer and I was living in Cecil. B Mills Old House and. I thought I may not be spending my money. Wisely show yeah okay. Well I'll all I remember is the first thing I had I got a staff. Writing job was my first actual big job on on. Tv Two seasons. I actually earth so. The first thing that I did was all the money I made on that I had a manager who gave me an Exxon card and so that I could buy gas to go to gigs. I'd saved every receipt I did this. It felt so good to come in. I took my very first paycheck. All the receipts and I paid off all the gas he had bought me or like a big deal for me to get to pay off credit card the got me but then when. I got the first job on King of Queens. I saved up like the first couple of seasons of money. I still have been a really dinky apartment on Normandy. Save up all the money because I wanted to pay my parents back for college. I wanted to pay off the for years. They had paid for college and they were so upset by that like they wanted. It was their dream to pay for their son's college and not have him pay them back as they were very insulted. So then suddenly Emma's up with this big Wad of money that I just put right back into savings again. I I started off during that time. When it's like there's not a lot of money save everything because it all this is a very you know an and look what's happening right now. This is a catastrophic business that we operate it. It's boom and bust. There's no middle ground. It makes me it makes me. It makes me feel good to know that you're not a flashy car. Flashy I need to drop money. Blow money on the because it made reassures who. I who we you know. I'm certain must happen with people who think of what my life is like book. You know when you're a fan of someone and I come at every Fan of comedy. I'M A fan. I may be good comedian but I am legit a fucking fan of comedy and you will I watch. I watch comedy all the time I love it. I love it. There's nothing better than laughing yet. When there's new specials out Doug Stanhope special drop the same day? When was so excited you know? He's got a great bit about Calling India during customer service. That's fucking monstrous. Well I even like now. What people are doing that thing? They Tom Sikora that film. He shot to promote his tour. Where he's doing the dancing. Oh don't don't dare promote. You know he did that for me. I started that right. I know that's what I loved. It is it was so hilarious that he just openly with the most unsubtle sweaty stealing from Bert Kreischer. And also he's opening it up with these other going dot. He's horrible you know. He's probably took like. Oh God that made me so happy that even the the way they're promoting things like I gotta work on my promo videos from a tour because I usually just let them like cut together from my last special make. No that was like. That's the new high bar. I got to do something really good it. I really feel like we're in a time with comedy where it's meant to be fun again. We're we're meant make each other laugh and just do the videos that do the things that we feel like we have and you know cigars angle is like. I made the money. I'll drop fucking forty grand fucking music billy. I know and the fact the fact that you're sitting there he's deep faked you under this morbidly obese body with the bucket much just made his fucking day we literally spent maybe literally just spent thirty minutes talking about you but then also it was the other thing too it goes back to Kevin James. You look at me. Tom Looks like just this kind of big bulky guides and then he starts dancing like Oh shit. The Guy Actually has an amazing central ballots. Clearly has some Like what what a so you do not expect him to be busting out. Those moves stunned. I was that was. I watched that live with him today. Dropped and it was one of my favorite things I've ever seen. I told him I go. This is like a love letter to me like this is. This is a love letter but again it's a love letter by someone who doesn't understand how insulting he's being like in his mind he's like and this is my tribute to procrastinate. Do you know what a tribute is because this is really offensive like the levels in that thing made me. Oh God. Oh you're when you mentioned molly Laughing because when you mentioned you don't have a flashy car. My car is now eleven years old. The front bumper off. Because my thing is I'm not gonna I'M GONNA save money not going to buy a car and my wife had to sit me down literally with like a legal. Pango the the money. You are now spending to repair this car. You could just have a monthly payment on a new car and not spend as much on Literally walk me through like a five year old like you need to get a new car. This car you're driving was built in the ninety S. It's the year twenty twenty. Let's get you a new car so it won't once the over. I will get a new carpet lake. She literally had to like show me because my thing is I can go buy anything. Just keep using it. She's like no sweetie. No no there's certain things about you that I that I that I force onto my image of you that I hope always like I. I remember one time hearing you say something. There's nothing better than a bathtub whiskey in a book and I went. Oh my God a day like that's one of the few good things about the end of the day is I can sit on this little chair on my front porch and just read a book and actually not have to go anywhere and go wellness going to sit. I'm actually we'd for four hours and just read. That's amazing to me like that. I'm not the best reader I'm like I just have a hard time reading of analysts and do a lot of books. These days is so hey books on tape. The actress are getting to do. Those now. Are Incredible have you. What have you been listening to on tape anything recently or a biography? Kim Jong UN. Who and WHO's reading it It's it's really racist. It's a white guy doing an Asian accent. It's it's Mickey Rooney doing his character from a breakfast at Tiffany's is I don't know who's about a chick. And she keeps saying Kim about referring to him his father and his grandfather. She's I Miss Kim. And so it's super fucking confusing one of the best books on tape. It's all been right now. This is a great. This is a great segment of this podcast. Please give I'm writing them down patent. Give me some books on tape or just go books. Well here's okay. The book itself World War Z. Is just a fun. Read because you know Remember the movie world. War Z book is written like a oral history like it's ten years after the Zombie outbreak. And they're just interviewing different people that survived it so they talked to a scientist soldier and stuff for the book on Tape. They cast it. So it's like Alan alda Marc Hamel Melissa Leo Raw Rob Reiner all talking about their experiences and some of the stuff it so weirdly timely about how like there was a Zombie attack on on Congress. All of the government was wiped out some guide. It was like an under secretary of Education. A local one up in Massachusetts made good on the whole line and he became president. He's like I was just running a school district and suddenly. I got to be the president. It's like rob. Reiner trying to explain it. Such an amazing listen Where you go like this is the oral history of of covid. Nineteen will sound like later. Wow THE INSANE MISTAKES. They were making mark. Hamill plays a special forces soldier who is trying to explain like. We're using to high caliber ammunition and it would go straight through zombies and they would keep way to learn to use lower cal that would hit them in stick inside them and maybe stopped them. The really high have just went through and it. Just just keep coming like. He was just amazing. How you didn't think about us up like Oh wait a minute. If you did shoot to close to powerful wouldn't do anything you just go sterile not. I mean it's just such a fun thing to listen to because it's so well directed and well cast who. I thought you'd always like this once again. Putting onto like James Michener. Did you ever listen to read him? I've read his books growing up. He would take like one subject to a massive like just the whole thing but I've never listened to them on tape they good. I haven't Lasagna tape. I read those those was. I stopped reading at a certain age where I was just like you know I. I actually talked about this today. I heard Seinfeld once time. Say he her. He saw people at a at a workplace. They went to lunch and then they came back and went back to work and he was like I started looking at my comedy that way and then I was like I don't I can't shut my brain off like I don't. I don't get a lot of even what was happening is when I started stand up and I would try to read. As I was reading I would start writing in my head and so I would disappear well but that's good that I think I mean there was like when I really got into comedy. It became time for about I say two decades. I just didn't read that much because I wanted to do was write comedy now. The more reading them that I'm getting back into reading. You should have those years for you. Also that's another thing too when people talk about. Tv shows from the late eighties and early. Nineties I have a huge gap because I was always in the clubs. I don't think I've ever seen an episode of Frazier or friends or not. Those are bad shows but were the nights. I didn't have a DVR. I couldn't you know I'm like I got to be out in the clubs I was. I wasn't performing. I was watching stuff. Never sold to do all this stuff. Never watched I never saw the sopranos. I just it was when I was working. 'cause that's when you yet whenever you're I started. Whatever the bug hits you a lot of pop culture. You just won't be into because you know I just WanNa Watch us. What's your what's your favorite book you've ever read like. Is there a book? You've read like my wife twice. Oh there's a book by a James Elroy called the Black Dahlia. I've read three times It is one of the most one of the darkest most fascinating crime novels in. It's basically a real case. The Elizabeth Short murder is still unsolved in. La One of the most gruesome murders ever and he weaves this massive fictional police tail around and says he thinks actually killed her. It's incredible one of the EAT Every couple of years I just pick it up and read it because it's so well done it's insane to me That true crime has become such a genre of just podcasting of books of it that it was a fascinating. Your your Your your I don't know how to say you don't say ex-wives lace your late wife. Sorry in your late wife. Late wife of everyone knows this but I just re wrote a book about the the Golden Gate Golden State Golden State go and say killer and ended up solving it and kind and it was just like an bestseller will. Yeah the book. The book itself didn't end up solving it with the book. Did is it put light back on the case and they reopened it there. That's what these are also going to sound kind of. This is gonNA sound a little creepy. But it's true he had. He did not have a good name. She thought the name Golden State killer for that. He liked to different names. They tried to combine them. 'cause your in two different decades and one of the homicide cops. I talked to was like if you don't bring if you don't do good branding on a serial killer a Lotta Times. The case that's why the become cold 'cause you got to give them a cool name which is a weird thing to say And I remember. Michelle always felt weird about that but all these like thank you for giving him a cool name. Now there's interest case and it helped to get the case solved. I just wrote a joke about that. The other day did a deep dive on your wife randomly because I got obsessed with the Boston Strangler and and then And then and then I got onto names of killers so interesting you say that because I said the joke I was trying to write was why why would they give him a cool name like the Boston Strangler here? That is the guy doing it going. Yeah that's what I do as opposed to just the Boston pervert is. That's not what I do. I'm GonNa stop if you think you're misconstruing what I make yet. That's one of the if if you go back and read the novel Red Dragon by Thomas Harris which is the novel before silence of the lambs. One of the things and again. It's very dark but it's true that the killer they're looking for they call him to fairy and he's angry because he wants to be called the Red Dragon he's they're not understanding what I'm doing is just but which by the way is a real thing that has happened with serial killers where they wanna they wanna Cooler name a megan. They're horrible human beings but that's a very human thing of like. I don't want that name on. You know it's Kinda crazy Yeah that true crime is really. I mean you look at you. Look at my favorite murder and you go yes. We'll also. Do you think that the reason the true crime is so popular now is because we now have these phones which apparently supposed to hold every piece of Information? Ever you can look anything up. So why are there still cold cases wire there unsolved things? Shouldn't we know you know So I think that that's one of the reasons that people like. Maybe if we talk it out and go over every of everyone looked at this thing. It's like when when when you're trying to find your car keys to go with everyone look around for these because you clearly. Maybe they're right in front of you can't see them in everyone else. Just bring in different is I don't know but it seems to be such a compulsion ineffective every couple years. Someone publishes a Goddamn Book. I figured out who Jack The ripper. It's like that will never let that go. Yeah it's You you finished that book you finish that book for her correct yes. I called a journalist friend of hers an her researcher and I said please help me finish this. None of us did any writing. We organize all main. She had pages and pages and pages of the book and we organized in a in a form that told the story because a writing was so good. If I tried to write I wrote the afterward but if I tried actually pick up a sentence that she didn't finish you would have seen the difference though will. Here's where writing like oh good Lord but Yeah there was that whole you know like I can't leave this on nut. I can't go on with my life until this is finished with. This is super personally. Don't answer it was that. Did that help you with the process of grieving. Yeah I mean that. That was a thing that helped the process of grieving. But what are the things that you find out Very very early about about grief is a refills like terror. They're the exact same emotion you're terrified and nothing nothing jurors it except time every single day it gets a little bit little bit little bit little bit you know less and then suddenly you're had a dad at my school. His wife died from cancer A data my daughter's school and he was like I you'll feel like I can't live then you'll feel like oh I can function but I'll never feel joy again and then you'll feel joy again and it happens and you have to let all of that happened to you and it's brutal but that's how it you you don't go through it your put through it so in a weird way. One of the few positives is you have freedom from choice. You don't have any other choice but to go through it interesting did there. Were there people? Did anyone reach out to your like why the Fucker you reaching out? No women was basically you know friends trying to end people that maybe I wasn't the best friends I mean. You know how especially in comedy you have a lot of friendly's there's a lot of yeah that's what. I like you know I mean I think candidly we've had a friend recently. Lost someone and and And I reached out and I felt really weird reaching out. I felt like I felt like I shouldn't say anything. Just shut up. Don't bring it up. You know. He said it was very. He said it meant a lot and when. I had known that I would reach out more to people but I feel like I don't want to bother anybody well but the thing is because we're fighting over creativity and our enact should be that's a function of our lives are actual lives everything else supersede status and if there's a real tragedy your minds that Richard. Pryor bit by had has the pet monkey monkey dies. There's a dog shakes tire in. He comes out and he's crowing. The dog jumps fence is like you'll UK and he tells them that the monkees dining. God don't hang onto that man located and the dog walks is about Turner goes you realize. I'm going to be chasing your ass tomorrow. And then and then he like jumps over so like I have. There's people that fight with on twitter that we don't agree politically but when that happened. They were like dude. If there's anything I can do we. Obviously we're GONNA fight about bullshit later but right now. I remember when those massive fires were happenings. None of the same level but those huge fires were happening out in the out in Malibu and James Woods who I could not agree about anything words on the literally awake for three days on his twitter like hey can someone come help beat like these horses are in trouble in some come to. This house key was like trying to marshal stuff. Anyone could do it and I was like. Hey James Woods will probably be fighting trump a few days right now. Get your probably saving people's lives of thank you like it was like. Oh yeah this is real lice oak me like they just those moments that bring should into perspective so the fact that you reached out to mark. I think that's beautiful. You know I I you know it's like I don't know I always. I think I look at things cynically the and I WANNA come out. I don't want to be I don't want to and I don't want anything to look like. It's any other motive other than Ham thinking about you and I and I think because we're still humans we're ultimately humans. I mean again when you're in your twenties that's when you have your crazy rivalries. I'll never speak to this person bucks. Many get to be my age like all. Come on. We're all the same basically so it is hard to keep again. That's why like when people get upset by Internet commenters. Internet trolls might feeling like they're supposed to be doing this. They're in their twenties right other young. They're in their fifties. They didn't evolve. Passer Twenty eight and let them work it out. It's just electrons. They they'll either get to this point or they'll die alone I know but there's eight away it doesn't affect you like that's how I will. I'm sure you've heard me talk about him. And how they're helping guys look their best. And if you haven't it's time to listen to what they're all about. Sixty six percent of men start losing their by the age of thirty five. A lot of men notice thinning hair. And then it's too late. I noticed that it was my hair was thinning and I jumped in front of it and I got on Medication Back. In the day you had to go to a doctor to sit with the nurse then talk to a doctor and then you had to go along. Pharmacy Line. You don't have to do that anymore. The best way to prevent air losses. The do something about it while you still have it. Don't be one of those GUYS AT TURNS TO GAS STATIONS. Luge or snake oil pills. That's bullshit you see those all over the place don't do it for him is for him. Dot Com as one STOP SHOPPING FOR HAIR LOSS. Skin Care Sexual Wellness for men. This is a company created by a man who realized that some conversations for men the for example hair loss for. Ed are better to have online than in person. So you don't have to go to a doctor like I did. It connects you for connects you with real doctors online. Move which would save you hours completely confidential and discreet. Answer a few quick questions. Doctors going to review today term and is right for you. They can prescribe the medication. To treat your hair loss. They shipped directly and discreetly to your door right now. My listeners can start with their first month for Free. Go to forums dot slash bird cast. That's four hymns dot com slash burke prescription Online consultation with physician will determine description is appropriate offer valid only prescribe three-month minimum subscription additional restrictions. Apply see what's our full details and important safety information it's remember that's four dot com slash. Burr cast yeah. Hey will pivot from this real quick. Look and I'll and I'll get you out of your soon. I don't want to keep you too long but My biggest fear. You get to an hour and everyone's like how fucking long just GonNa go. But how do you feel like you're someone in this business? That has worn a ton of different hats like an. I'm always curious. This side of me was always curious of like how many different jobs there are to have in Hollywood like you know I mean obviously been an actor in your obviously comedian but like what other stuff do you get brought on for projects to do. I do a lot of writing. I do a lot of punch-up and rewrites on scripts Now I'm starting to do a lot of hosting award shows. Bs Awards Writers Guild Award three years in a row. I for some reason. I think it's because I'm such a movie nerd that I get really I'm a host. Its excited about the show that I'm doing rather than trying to just do jokes actually know who's nominated. I've seen the films and I kind of bring the Hosted the independent spirit awards like. I was excited that John Waters was in. The crowd was actually giddy about that. And that's infectious. So yeah the things I wanted and I'm really starting to this past year. I'm starting to produce a lot of stuff. Just did it just a different variation what I was doing with comedians accommodate? Which is you're bringing people that you like work you like that you WanNa bring together and then make something amazing and then and I'm going to try to stop talking about it so much. I want to direct something. I'm going to start directing been a couple of COMEDIANS who specials. I want direct Once comedy comes back and then I wanNA start making movies. So that's the next thing that's interesting What did Do you did? Was there a party that felt like this? And this is the most ridiculous statement. I'll make was a party. That felt like I should get stock options in Zach. I think I can help. People understand him 'cause like he was the most misunderstood dude by industry. Forever and Africa means a comedy era including myself. I like that's how you show that man. Yeah I mean with me it. I 'cause I was of the feeling of if it wasn't going to be me. It would have been someone else he would have gotten through real way and I bet I mean. I'm not looking to go like I got to own a piece money more like I get to be friends with him and I get to tour with him. Like that's to me is way more fun than some cold like financial arrangement with them and also you know he As much as I was him to the world touring with him made me away. Better community made me think differently about how I wrote so I again. I benefited ten folds now with any kind of weird contract so but it's but it's still it was like it was the you know it's like it's when Zach made the brody enjoy it. Yeah he'll finally someone showing up the guy. We love how we love him. Yes that would that made me so and I had like brody do many shows with me as I possibly could largo whenever he was available for Community comedy but weirdly enough near the end. He became so in demand as an audience. Warm up guy because he would set the best tone for those rooms and it paid really well so as much as I was being greedy and wanted to take them on the road and have them open for me. I couldn't justify. Take him away from these. Really good paying gigs where the audiences really loved him. So I mean I had him toward me as much as I could. But you know he was he was. He was beloved within the industry. I wish he'd gotten some more love outside. St Definitely Yeah definitely. My daughter's knew who he was. We live near each other really yesterday. They they would see him starbucks and go dad brody Stevens love him. I just his lines I. I was an intense. I charge the mound playing t-ball just God voice. Yeah I I wish I wish she had stayed at the at the banquet a little longer and got a chance to really get out there and get. He should have had a a Netflix special netflix series. Something or or some new format that we don't know exist yet to showcase a mind like his invented. You know we agree that that's what I'm out. This is the question I was. Everyone had asked me when I was when I was promoting my special And and don't don't don't go into detail just want little hints. Okay and I'll give you examples from mind okay. So what's what's the joke. I'll answer I. What's the joke? You're most proud of not city joke but in my thing I called it. I caught a black starbucks. That was my joke where I went this way. I and I and I'll tell you I was. I felt because it was a layer joke. It wasn't what you thought it was. It wasn't what you think. The joke was. It was something else I was. I love that joke. What's the joke? You're most proud of mine and again I get it. There's going to be a bit of humble brag but I really so happy with the Denny's bit closes the special. The it's kind of a new level of writing for me in the special been out for two days. People are already making animations of artwork. I'm getting sent stuff like it's getting people like it's one of those things it's taking a life outside of it and people are adding to it or adding to the world that I map out and that and that is a writer and as a as a comedian always feels amazing. The fact that I'm already seen that two days in. I'm you know I'm not humble bragging. I'm openly bragging. I'm so happy about that bit. I'm so happy that I wrote it. It's so much fun loving a bit that you have where you go. I loved it really proud of myself. That gets back to that whole thing. I start my special mid joke. I'm just telling joke because all my dispatchers you see the openings get shorter and shorter because like I just want to get to it and then I re listened to. There's a nineteen sixty four live album. Its Jerry Lee Lewis in Hamburg Germany. It is a twenty four minute live album. It he put out. Maybe the best live album ever know prelude no good evening folks just it opens in. He's banging on the Piano. And here we go and it does not let up. I wanted my special to have that energy. Just let's go. It's almost like the older you get the more you can strip it down. You're young like I have so much to say. This is my only special and you front load with his Bullshit. Now just like pledges go go. What joke in your special do you feel like is is textbook patent. God Textbook Patent. Also I might my jokes about my daughters and my family. I go dots the bird that you liked secret time you get that you get a all that comes like I put it. I was very very particular about the way I structured by our because they didn't want to put. I wanted to put newer stuff that I was proud of the way I was writing and wasn't normally talking about up front and then the stuff that I did that people fell like me or in the time I put in a second thirty minutes. Oh that's a cool way to structure it because I didn't want people to turn it on and go. Oh It's a joke about his daughter. We did he. Did this last special. Go Away what is the use them a little bit and go I. Can you know I think it worked? I got the retention rate on my special so I think at work but mine was the the thing that's most patent is is the whole thing about breakfast cereals. Right take a its other food joke. But it's this seemingly disposable computer product that no one thinks about twice and I go into what is this actually saying about just the famous bowl just like with black angus like is there. A bigger human thing is being said but this frivolous you know. He stopped so yeah. That was the most at what was the names. You did not pick for the specials for the special. I gotta say I came up with. I love everything pretty early and I was because that. Because that's what I called the tour numb. Don't think I had other. I think the only other I was almost going to call it yelling but then but but then when I looked at him. I'm not yelling that much on this one so knowing that Mike I'm older I'm not yelling. So what were your other names? I was just looking at up right now. Oud I I know that I had to write them out. Titles here we go. Are you eric belly laughs? I'm just GONNA I'm just GONNA run through them because we've got a fucking list. Okay well okay. We belly laughs third trimester skinny fat. Gd American pits and pussies gun show ripped yoked. Hey big boy came in visceral to twenty-five skinny special trimming the fat hard pass artistically honest twelve jokes four stories. Nothing but nips bad dad. Hot Dad Hotbed Dad. Hot Dad Bod the special pony boy. Pony Boy Curtis Rat Dad Rad Bob Bodied full-bodied and firing hot dude. Those are great. The only thing I would add would be father figure. Far Father Figures. What I'm calling next. One Your fucking brilliant oh patent that is it bucking but artistically honest works on so many levels can we find? I WANNA find a way It's not I mean it's Gonna I I would want. I would love to get away to bridge the gap of nights where like guys like not just two spots but go out to dinner with guys like me you guys who still like to have a cocktail now and then just Hang Soo Gurre stanhope religion like like like Profane like you know. Yeah you like. There's a way of like you're such a brilliant dude but we're also we're all dads now and but that thing. I MISSED THE HANG. I missed doing the OPEN MIC. And then we all go sit somewhere and just hash over will be in someone will come up with a weird. Tatler Op Thank you. You know there's that moment in the in the Seinfeld documentary which working on a think tank. Joking is it's not there. Many sitting down with Colin Quinn. George Wallace and George Wallace riffs. That one line you see. Jerry's face go that's it that's like I've got it like you see him. Get the hook right there. And so those moments I really. I really miss those will dude on. I only have one more question for you. Okay what Did you see a dream a little dream when you were in college? I did not see that movie because when it came out I was just starting Stand up but I did. I did see the scene in the gymnasium. Where she's in Leotard with the Goddamn top hat and Corey. Feldman is doing his Michael Jackson dance and she is just like an so. There's moments when I go around the house. I'm like oh I'm married at that. I'm married can leaning diamond. It's dude it was one I of all big like time travel out of body type. Movie Guy Owledge Freshman Year. I'm must have. I must have watched that a thousand times. Jeff arly how I mean in in to the point where I said we were talking. We were talking about like crushes like childhood crushes and for and he said who did you like a childhood crush on. I said you know I got an say only respectfully but I go patents. Wife is was like all of our in college. I was like all of our dreamgirls. Was like she was so cool. And by the way this is still in both the Corey's coolest fuck okay. Well NO AGREEMENT SAYS. She was happy that she was so excited. Because I got a corey Aaron so but it's so cool. It's so fucking cool to know that the girl that we're all obsessed with we just ended up marrying a guy like you like a guy that legit is brilliant. Fucking hilarious fun hang and just an all around artist and in love with everything that is fucking art. It's so cool that she didn't end up marrying some fucking Polo player. Some shit you know she could have so? I don't know I. She picked me. So I'm and I'M NOT GONNA question it and I'm GonNa Roll with it and I'm going to try to keep quiet about it. Congratulations on the special. Thank you so much Matt Burke thanks. I'm so glad I got to do. Your your podcast. And just like I said to Joe Rogan when all this crazy sober when it come in I like sitting and talking with people definitely without a doubt doing his best. We can here but I wanNA commit into saying. I can't wait man. I'm GonNa play where I just started watching it and I put it on pause Leeann. My wife heard me playing said I WANNA watch that. I WanNa Watch that with you so I'm just outside the serial bit I'm GonNa Watch tonight with Lianne. Dm Me later. Because I would love to get your thoughts on the Denny's bit I think damn ruined will just knowing the kind of stuff that you do. I think that one you'll really really I can't wait Ma'am I can't wait. Thank you so much man man take care brother Zia. This episode is brought to you by the machine.

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Keeping Up with Coronavirus - International Edition | Michele Harper & Patton Oswalt

The Daily Show with Trevor Noah: Ears Edition

39:07 min | 6 months ago

Keeping Up with Coronavirus - International Edition | Michele Harper & Patton Oswalt

"You're listening to comedy central. Hey, everybody, welcome to the daily social distancing show. I'm Trevor Noah. Now. Before we begin, there's an issue that has been brewing online about me. And I've been trying to avoid this for a few days now, but I feel like I owe you. The views of the daily show an explanation. And also my boss's forcing me to address this I'm referring of course to. My hoodies. Many of you have been asking why I'm still wearing hoodies when it's ninety degrees outside. Well you may not have noticed, but I'm not outside. I have been taping the show from a place called inside, which contrary to popular belief is not outside. And, so because I am inside as it's known, I have the ability to condition the air to a level and temperature of my choosing. And I know some people might trigger than. Why don't you want to turn down the air conditioning so that the apartment is more warm well if I did that? I wouldn't be able to wear a hoodie. I like wearing hoodies, but still. To anyone who I've made feel hot. I Apologize. I never intended for my temperature choices to affect your temperature. Feelings also completely unrelated to the scandal. We won't be having a show Friday Saturday or Sunday as I will be taking a long planned vacation to go trout fishing. Anyway on tonight's episode Kanye. West is coming for the White House why celebrities were banned from sending tweets and reparations a finally here? So, let's do this. People welcome to the daily social distancing show. From Trevor's couch in New York City to your couch somewhere in the world. This is the daily social distancing show with Trevor Noah. Here's. Let's kick it off with twitter, social media network and trump's longest serving press secretary. On a normal day. It's a place where people can share ideas with each other. While also getting yelled at by Neo Nazis but yesterday was not a normal day today. Twitter is scrambling to recover from one of the biggest security breaches in internet history after Bitcoin scammers apparently compromised some of the platforms, highest profile accounts for hours, Wednesday targeting companies like Uber and apple and wealthy public figures like Bill Gates Elon. Musk and Jeff Bezos even former president, Barack Obama and former Vice President Joe. Biden many of the hijacked accounts posting similar language, inviting users to submit. Submit bitcoin payments to a single account promising to double their money. Several hundred people quickly responded sending in tens of thousands of dollars, twitter, revealing the hack was coordinated social engineering attack by people who successfully targeted some of our employees with access to internal systems in tools, twitter, also confirming they prevented some verified accounts from tweeting Wednesday evening as they investigated the attack. That's right Barack Obama Joe Biden Bill Gates Jeff Bezos Kim Kardashian. If you famous. That was a good chance, you were hacked on twitter yesterday. Now. For some reason, the hackers missed my account which. Makes no sense because I'm famous, but we'll whatever there's probably like a second round with something and. So twitter released a statement saying that luckily, the President's account was not hacked. But how would they know? I mean. This is the same guy who tweets about beans, Iran and the confederacy in the span of ten minutes. He projects himself the only way you'd know if a hacker got trump is if the spelling was correct, guys trump spelled corona virus right I think he got hacked so in response to the hack twitter, actually disabled tweets from anyone with a verified account. Yeah, blue checkmark couldn't tweet. And I gotta be honest. Someone who has a verified account, 'cause famous remember. It was hard, not being able to post for a few hours yesterday and I had to resort to some drastic measures at Anna Kendrick. I have a great voice and I would love to be in the next trolls movie. At Trevor? Noah I told you to leave me alone. Lots of reported. Anna Kendrick. Thanks so much responding big Fan. Moving onto some political news last week, Kanye West, hip hop, superstar and permanent residents on everyone's prayer list announced that he was running for president, and then a few days later, one of his advisers said actually he's not running for president, but now maybe use culinary wes unconventional presidential bid is showing signs of Life Oklahoma official, confirming that he will appear on the November. November general election ballot. The group called Connie Twenty. Twenty five, the first federal election forms for West Candidacy. Okay I'm sorry. This is just crazy Kanye. West is actually running for President I. Mean I guess he reversed his position on whether one man should have all that. How now a lot of people are worried that Kanye will be a spoiler for Joe Biden. Think about it. Who is Kanye West? He's a man who goes on long unintelligible rants. Constantly flops on these positions brags about the size of his penis. I mean if anything Kanye has trump but better beats. I mean this all goes to show you how much things can change? Who would have thought ten years ago? Then one day you'd be thinking who came? I'm scared. That could become president at least Kim Kardashian. We'll be there to bring them seriousness to the White House, but let's move onto someone even less qualified to be presidents. Then Connie Donald J trump. Most polls now show him losing badly to Democratic nominee and Sunglass hut platinum member Joe Biden. And yesterday trump took a big step to try and stop the bleeding breaking news in Washington. Where President Trump announced a shakeup in his reelection team with less than four months until election day, president trump is announcing a major change. His reelection team. The president demoted longtime manager, Brad Pascal it comes amid a string of botched efforts to reboot his campaign amid the ongoing pandemic, including his June rally in Tulsa, where only a third of the arena was filled, trump promoted the deputy campaign manager of Bill. steepen to the new role of manager will stay on the team. Sources say he was informed of the change by the president's son-in-law Jared Kushner. Wow I. I'M NOT GONNA lie I of feel bad for this guy. Not only did he get fired, but he got fired by jared. Kushner like what was that conversation like? We have to let you go because you're just not succeeding in your job now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to solving the Middle East. It's almost worse that he's also still part of the campaign team. I. Think about that staying on the team when you've been demoted. Your wife leaving you, but then you welcome to live with her and her new boyfriend, or you can watch baby, and you know what if you ask me? This guy is not the problem. He's a scapegoat. Donald Trump's campaign isn't struggling because of his campaign manager it struggling because Donald. Trump is the candidates. What's a new campaign manager going to do? He's going to say. Our campaign needs a consistent message, and then trump will be like you've got it I'm going to do a photo of myself in a bathtub covered in. Beans so much! Greg Greg oil over my bed so condolences to Brad Pascale, but you should be really proud of yourself man. Because at this point, getting out of the trump campaign without getting into prison. That's an achievement. In other news. As Corona virus continues to rage across the country, more people are finding learning the importance of wearing face mosques, Walmart and other major chains have announced that people must wear mosques in their stores. It is mandatory and the governor of Alabama issued a statewide mosque mandates, but unfortunately some people are still standing firm against science Georgia Governor Brian. Camp is banning. Banning local governments from mandating masks despite a sharp spike in cases in his State, he extended his public health declaration to include banning fifteen cities and counties from ordering people to wear a face mask in public. We can have all this guidance and everything else, but if people won't follow it and do the right thing, then it doesn't really matter okay, hold up, hold up all up. This governor. Is, saying. Why even have laws? People on can follow them anyway. Man! We're already living through outbreak. I'm not trying to add the courage I. don't even get what the hangup is. One of people fighting. Are they fighting tyranny? Is that what they don't WanNa wear mosques because you realize the government also makes you wear clothes in public. That's a thing. Yeah, but I don't see anyone showing up pencils to Walmart. Like these are free nuts. And finally it took one hundred fifty five years, but here's some good news. Full black people now historic moment in north, Carolina the city of. Of Asheville, apologizing to block residents for racist policies and approving a resolution for reparations, vote calls for increased investment in the black community, including in housing and business. The resolution also asked the state and federal governments to form policies to create generational wealth. Wow, wow, wow, wow, this is really special news and I. Think the first step of reparations should be changing that cities named from Asheville to moisturizer. Ville Com claimed to be an ally of black people. If you named after, they were worst enemy, unfortunately though. Because this is happening in Asheville. North Carolina. All reparations will be paid in autism crofts from the thriving gallery community. For More Asha specific comedy tune into my spinoff show the Dash Asheville show with Trevor North Carolina. Not Obviously people have a lot of strong opinions when it comes to reparations, so let's check in with our very own. Do Sloan and see what she thinks about Ashland's historic move. Don't say Sloan. This is some exciting news. Don't you think I mean African Americans beginning to get reparations. Yeah, it sounds good. Trevor but I've been black far too long. Trust government promises. We're still waiting for them. You'll. They promised us back. Back in eighteen sixty five. If you want me to trust the now I gotta pay up on that new where you really want the forty acres and a mule. No, I don't want the forty acres because I know these white people. They're going to give me a landfill and add a whole where Utah or some shit and make me pay taxes on it jeopardy. You know you have to pay taxes every year. No wonder. What's he's going to jail? Okay, so if don't want the forty acres then, I don't understand. Why would you want? The mule would not want a meal it can carry my groceries acted open. petting zoo, and the best part is why people will be jealous. I've got a pet debate on half. I can dress up from past at can post pictures on instagram. I'll bring it up playing. ooh people are going to be so thirsty for my mule. The jealousy. ooh, that'd be the real reparation or producer. You live in an apartment. Where where's the mule going to live? That's the meals problem. Off? Analysts are GonNa name of level and I'M GONNA. Teach them the by Karen Yeah College. Trapping on your ASS Care Ran. This anyway I gotta go run a moving van because I've moving to Asheville. You know home reparations, Ashville. You better have my money. All right good luck with that. Do say Sloan everybody. We have to take a quick break when we come back. We're going to be checking in with how other countries are dealing with the coronavirus right now? Stick around. This program is brought to you in part by EB sleep if current events are giving you stress and sleep deprivation, try the ebbsfleet machine, the new sleep aid backed by science that make sleep easy Ed is the first in only wearable drug-free solution that targets the root cause of sleeplessness, an inability to stop thinking. How does that work? It comfortably cools your forehead helps quiet, erasing mine, and promotes the natural onset of sleep ebb targets, the frontal cortex were judgment and thinking, take place it applies precise and continuous going to the forehead calming your mind. Ed is clinically validated and four to five users report falling asleep faster and improving overall sleep. Sleep quality producers at the daily show have found F helps him distress before sleep, fall asleep and stay asleep and they would recommend it for people who exiled. He is making sleep difficult right now. Epic Sleep understands the uncertainty. You may be experiencing at this time and wants to help. Listeners can save twenty five dollars off your order by using Promo Code Trevor to save and continue to try it risk free for sixty nights to confirm it's the solution you've been looking for at tribe dot com slash trevor. Get the sleep. You deserve and remove the risk from your purchase. That's T. R., Y. E. E.. B. Dot com slash trevor. Support for this program and the following message is brought to you by Manscaping the best in below the belt grooming manscaping offers precision engineer tools for your family jewels. They obsess over their technology developments to provide you the best tools for your grooming experience. 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That's twenty percents off with free shipping at Manscaping, Detroit Com, and use. Code daily show. Welcome back to the daily social distancing show. The United States continues to be overwhelmed by the coronavirus, but how other countries handling this global pandemic? Well. Let's find out in our ongoing segments keeping up with corona into national edition. Let's our world tour in Russia. August formerly known as the Soviet Union. Everyone around the world is trying to find a covert nineteen vaccine, but Russia may have found a competitive edge. CNN Breaking News, and we start with breaking news coming into CNN the US Canada and the United. Kingdom have accused Russia of carrying out cyber attacks on several corona virus research centers the three governments believe the aim was to steal information about vaccine development. That's why people Russia is trying to hack. It's way too vaccine. and honestly. I want Russia to steal vaccine. Yes, said it, because I'll be honest. Based on how good they are poisoning. People going to be really good at making sure everyone is vaccinated. You won't even have to go to a doctor. You just have to bump into a guy on a bridge with an umbrella, and you'll be over before you know. It also is a bad bad if they steal information if it leads to them getting a vaccine. I'll take the vaccine from anywhere. Same Way of thirsty men in the desert will drink the sunny. We don't have choice I'm just surprised Russia. Try to hack America for the solution. I mean the US handling corona worse than any other country. Like cheating off the kid who spends the whole cloth during Dixon Desk, so answer number three is flooded this moving on to Japan the country that always knew shaking hands was a bad idea. The Asian superpower has been doing a good job fighting the virus and they're starting to reopen the country, but they're being very very careful about it at Fuji Q. Amusement Park outside Tokyo these are two of the park's executives stoically riding Fuji, cues biggest coaster Fujiyama. Proper etiquette for their no screaming rule implemented apparently to prevent the spread of Corona Virus Fuji. Q said it received complaints. The rule was too strict, so the fun park released this video to prove it can be done. The two men as you see what wearing a full suit and tie do not change their expressions for the entirety of the four minute thrill ride. The video then concludes with this philosophical piece of advice quote. Please scream inside your heart. That's right. Scream. Inside Your Heart As the same advice, Doctor FAUCI tells himself before every press conference. is a really hard thing to not scream at an amusement park. and. It's going to be extra hard to Disneyworld. 'cause people there scream every time they see. How much hotdog cost would i? And I guess one person who will never be able to ride. Roller coasters in Japan is my best friend. Alisa 'cause. This is a clip from US writing a roller coaster before corona virus. Miss Human Beings next up. Let's go to Barbados a beautiful Caribbean country and the world's number one exporter of Riana. Jacobin, nine hundred, shutting down the tourism industry. Barbados is now trying to turn the global lockdowns to its advantage ever dreamed of living on an island paradise. That could be reality for you. Remote working is the new normal, and Barbados wants to turn its beaches Jason to the crystal blue water into your new outdoor office the Caribbean country is going to introduce a twelve month. Barbados Welcome Stamp Program, which would allow visitors from overseas to stay for an entire year and work remotely. Barbados officials are hoping it could help jump start the island's economy. Okay, Bob Aid us. Sounds like a pretty awesome deal and there's no catch. I mean it's not like. Barbados is an island or something, and you have to get an uber to go to the airport to get on an airplane and maybe catch, Croon virus ten times before you even set foot on the beach. I mean I'm not GONNA lie. This is tempting, but getting to Bombay Betas could be risky. I'm just GONNA to have to move to Barbados inside my heart now on the other hand. Maybe this is the perfect idea. Because if corona does get worse, and you're in the Caribbean hearing that music steel drums is gonNA. Make things sound better because it is impossible to be sad when a steel dramas playing. Even Dr vouches warnings would sound happier with the steel drum in the background. It's very difficult situation as predicted. This is going to get worse before it gets better for sure. That's right, guys. We're all GonNa die and finally. The coronavirus pandemic has been especially difficult for the wolves authoritarian dictators. They have to a very real disease. While also pretending the nothing in their country is ever wrong. But the Central Asian dictatorship of Turkmenistan has found a solution as serious as the global situation is one country claims to have covid nineteen completely under control former Soviet republic. Turkmenistan sits right beside Iran, which has reported more than two hundred sixty thousand infections. Turkmenistan says it has zero cases pretty unbelievable yet a week after a visit from the World Health Organization. The authoritarian government has now strongly recommended. It's people wear masks, but the reason given to protect them from dust. I feel like we don't really have the full story of what's happening in Turkmenistan. Because the sounds like the family who sends out a Christmas newsletter talking about how perfect everyone's lives. And then at the very end, they casually mentioned that bobbies being granted parole. Honestly I think that this dust excuse is actually more embarrassing than just saying you have coronavirus both worry. We don't have these here. We just have very dusty country because we don't own a vacuum cleaner, but if you think this dust, excuse ridiculous, wait until you see the public service announcement released by took minutes. Dan's Health Ministry. Greetings from the Turkmenistan health department. Now that you're all wearing masks to protect ourselves from our very non-contagious Turkmenistan dust here are some other tips for staying safe and are very healthy country where there's no corona virus at all. Stay six feet apart at all times to properly admire the beauty of the Turkmenistan people. All non essential businesses will be closed indefinitely. Because our glorious people deserve a vacation. Vacation must be taken inside your home. If, you experienced difficulty breathing. Go to the hospital immediately. So doctors can assure you that your breathing just fine, but in like a new special Turkmenistan way. And finally if you see anyone coughing. Just, give them a smile. And report them to the Ministry of Non Corona Virus Affairs. Stay safe? But there's no reason to. We. Totally made that video all right. Don't go away because after the break, we'll be talking with an er doctor, who has a close up view of the cove pandemic, and then I'll catch up with Patton oswalt. Don't go away. Welcome back to the daily social distancing show earlier today, I spoke with Emergency Room, physician, Michelle, hopper, we talked about being on the frontlines of the coronavirus, pandemic and her new memoir, the beauty in breaking. Up to hop welcome to the daily social distancing show. Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here. Let's start with congratulating you on your success. You are now, not just Dr! Hopper you also Dr Hope a new. York Times, bestselling author. How does it feel he's feels amazing. It's surreal. It I'm still getting used to it, so, but it's it's lovely. Thank you I. I. Think what I appreciate about. The most is the fact that it's not just that you're a bestselling author that it's a book that deserves to be read. Tell me a little bit about what it's been like being a doctor on the front lines of the worst pandemic, arguably that humankind has of. And so I'm in New Jersey. That's where a practice clinically so it's been a little bit of a roller coaster I mean six weeks ago. Maybe it was. It was what we're seeing in the south. Where there's a deluge of page chance We don't have an equipment. Still don't have an equipment. We don't have enough staff. People are people getting sick. It was not only US getting sick. and the patients getting sick I was taking care of healthcare providers from my region and other regions like the technician who came in, and he kept apologizing because he was feeling. Feeling Terrible, he couldn't breathe his resting. Heart rate was high in oxygen was low, and he's apologizing because his phone is blowing up because his boss is calling him telling him to get back to work, and they know you sick. They're all getting sick, but they don't know what to do. Because they can't staff the unit, and of course, he can't go back because I have to admit him back to the hospital. So that's what we went through. And now there's a little bit of a lull. Thank goodness in the northeast, but we're bracing because we see what's going on. We all feel it will come back another thing that's really opened. My eyes has been. You're writing not just in the book, but in the posts that you've put out. About the effect on healthcare workers and one thing I found really interesting was where you said a lot of. Healthcare workers don't know if we'll come back to this profession wants. This is all done. Tell me why there was that sentiment in a lot of the medical community because I'm seeing this from many healthcare workers who go I, don't know that this business for me I. Don't know that I wanna be a part of this. Why what other than the universe itself? What is what is what is driving the feeling? There is a lot of. Stress and. When I mentioned that we feel we're treated as more disposable than our equipment. That's a real thing it's. It's a strange thing to be called a hero. Yet I don't believe heroes are putting a position where they don't have the equipment that they need when they don't have the staffing departments that they need when their hours are being cut, their pays being cut because in healthcare in America, healthcare is. For the most part like any other private industries, and it's based on profit for a few. That's very demoralizing and those are the conditions we're working in. And that of course I work with many people. Do they have families? I know many healthcare providers. Whatever it was saying is true. I know every many healthcare providers who? Don't go home. They're staying in hotels. They're staying with a single friend where they can be in a basement apartment, so their whole lives are being turned upside down in the midst of this, you also talk extensively about the disparities between hospitals in underserved communities in poor communities in communities of color versus hospitals in wealthier. Affluent neighborhoods that's been difficult for some people to understand because I've seen newspapers or people who choose and they go I've been to this hospital. Everything seems fine and yet there are healthcare professionals saying yes, because the load is being unfairly born by certain communities where there is A. Disproportionate amount of people getting extremely sick from this disease. What is it like working in a community hospital? Hospital in a community with people do not have the means on the hospital doesn't have means what it's like. Is heartbreaking I mean I I personally I prefer to work and. Communities that are inner city, largely black and Brown and lower resource financially Because I go where the Nita's and so what I'm seeing is that. The people being most affected are the essential workers and we know that in these communities essential workers are the people who are working and. Mail delivery. Store clerks. These are people who. Can't not work. We need them to be working and they can't afford to not work. They don't have the kind of jobs that they can perform from home, so they're the greatest risk. Their greatest risk of infection rates risk of abuse. I took care of a young woman. Maybe around eighteen years old nineteen years old, who came in? Because? She didn't know she wanted to live anymore. She already was pretty isolated. Didn't have any support from family or friend now in further isolation from corona virus, working in a job where the. That customers coming in were abusive to her where she was being brass by her boss, and she didn't know where else to go. She needed someone to talk to you. And we just spoke and I listened to her and I told her what she's. Feeling is real, and we're all feeling it. And I asked. If there is anything else we could do for her if she felt she had to stay in the hospital and she said. Just needed someone to talk to. There's no one to talk to you and you listen to me and I feel like I can go on, and I'm seeing she was well. Thank goodness, but I'm seeing a lot of that versus the mail delivery person who wasn't well and his old department wasn't well, and he was admitted to an intensive care unit, so those are the burdens I'm. I'm seeing the the burn of not having access to regular care, not having benefits, not having pay and being forced to work under these stressful circumstances with long hours under certain. You know they're not healthcare providers. They didn't sign up for this. They don't have this training. We do and they don't have any equipment at all. So that's what I'm seeing. I also want to mention. That of course, some seeing nursing home patients being affected more. But also the prisoners. and. This is particularly heinous to me because. They can't make their own decisions. They can't say guess what today I want to go to the emergency department and I've seen so many of them when they come in, and they can't breathe, and they're just about to be intimated, or maybe we can stave it off with other therapies. And they're terrified. And many of them were young and healthy, and they tell me over and over again how they wanted to come in, but they were told them in prison they had to wait when they got around to it. When the next vehicle was ready to take them, and it could be days. So those are some of the of the disparities that cove is really laying bare for us all to reckon with. Well, I'll tell you this talk I. If I could wave a magic wand, everyone, read your book. especially. The people who don't think this is real. Don't to take it as seriously as they should. Thank you so much time and Thank you for the work that you're doing in the hospitals every single day. Thank you as a pleasure being here. Pleasure was mine. Thank you Dr, harbor. After the break I'll be speaking to the one and only hadn't Oswalt you don't WanNa. Miss It. Welcome back to the daily social distancing show. My next guest is the legendary comedian and actor Patton Oswalt we talked about his latest project. The HBO Docu Series about the Golden State killer called I'll be gone in the dock, which is based on the investigative work and book by his late wife. Michelle McNamara check it out. What drives me is the the need to put a face on a unknown killer and. What I love is intersection of search technology in crime solving in that people can get certain wheeled out of their house for something. They did nineteen fifty seven because of the Internet because DNA. I really get hung. promos world welcome to the daily social distancing show. Trevor Noah, thank you for having me on from SAR before we get into the Docu series, and really one of the most amazing stories ever told. How are you how you doing? Because you you your your parents. Are you home schooling? Are you living? What is happening right now? We are trying to do a combination of homeschooling and and living I think what you find out very very quickly as apparent. No matter what you do, education is not fun. When Kids Eight. One a summer they deserve just a Kinda day-dreaming, nonstructured time, and when you do that sneaky let's make math fun by playing poker. They Take Omega GonNa ruin poker for this like. I don't I just. I want them to have a summer. I don't want to you know may somehow swimming in with American history this Docu series. It's truly one of the most interesting shows I have ever. Ever watched based on one of the most interesting books that we've ever an honestly one of the most despicable stories that I think you know, humans can ever consume created and I mean people have credited your late wife with this work. Tell me about the DOCU series. Like like what what are you trying to do? That's different to the book. And what story are you trying to tell? Well lower especially. What Liz Garbis director who's incredible documentarian in this six part documentary? What she's doing is taking a lot of the stories of especially the victims and the detectives and expanding them. I mean Michelle del Pretty deeply into those in the book, but Liz is trying to show is the aftermath the resilience and especially the bounceback of a lot of these victims and survivors of this killer and of this this insect basically and you know it. It really feels amazing as point where they talk about how they've gone to everyone of his arraignment, and they just stare at him. He cannot. CanNot meet their as he can't lift his ED walkout them, and it's just this seeing this guy reduced in a way. He never wanted to be seen. It feels like justice and from everything I've heard from the during for law enforcement officials that I'm talking to. He's absolutely faking the need for the wheelchair. The the being frail, he's trying to garner sympathy and people are just like staring right at him with no with zero empathy and shrinking him even further and anytime, victims or survivors can be afforded that opportunity I think it's very important. You know what what's really tough in society is. Watching stories like this, but then not being terrified by these stories as if they all the GNOME. They are exceptionally. But. They are still exceptional in that. It's not everybody. So when when when the show is being put together. Is it a story that's being told like it could happen to you, or or did you guys make a conscious effort to tell a story that that is like man? It's crazy that this can happen. You know, but luckily it's not happening to everybody a couple of things that we emphasize were no. This is not happening to everyone's of serial. Killers are a or a very rare, very twisted, sad group of people, but we also especially this. What Michelle Kinda focused on in her book and Liz? I thought brought into even bigger focus is there was a certain way that women and especially women who had been raped and salted were treated and thought of in the seventies that we have. We've done a lot of progression on. We still have a long way to go, but when you see how a lot of them were treated, they kind of subconsciously had it in. They were partially at fault for this and so there's something very It's it's very frightening to think that that in the so in those so called Liberated Progressive Times things were so medieval in a Lotta ways and. See the progress. We've made away from it. You know your late. Wife was credited with putting so many of the pieces together, really guiding enforcement and the public at large to focus on the facts that helped get this killer court. You, you wrote in my opinion. One of the most beautiful love letters that I've ever heard or seen from a human to another human being. Surely, on a personal level delving into this work like it, it must make you proud must make. You must bring you joy and sadness at the same time. What is this journey been like for you? I mean it's a combination of. The sadness will ever totally be on, but but it does fairly good to know that in amongst all that tragedy Michelle left behind. You know dozens of portraits of strength and resilience and adaptation, men and women that hopefully other. Potential Crime Sauber's and other and I hope there's not a lot of them, but other victims and survivors can look at as a lifeline, or as a piece of wreckage to cling onto in the storm. Yeah, truly is one of the most amazing piece of work I've had the chance to see and I hope everybody watches it. Congratulations to you congratulations to the team for putting it together, and of course thank you too late for making this what it is hopefully the next time I, see you. We'll be back on stage performing for human beings in person. Because Lee right up thing. It's just. Listen I. DON'T WANNA. I don't WanNA blow too much. Smoke up your ass, but after we watch the news every night, then we dvr. You and my wife is like okay. Let's a little dessert a little relief. So just thank you I don't I don't know how you. You and your writers face all this madness every day and go. Let's put on a show, but you do so. Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much and I know you don't like it, but I think there's a great business opportunity in swimming American history. You should patent that and we can make a lot of money. Trust me on this one. Let's let's talk about that off the air. We'll talk about. Patton, oswalt! Thank you so much, my friend, thank you Trevor Thank you. Thank you so much again pattern well, that's all show for tonight's, but before we go America is facing a nationwide poll work shortage, and it's because most poll workers over sixty and covert is still in the air, and so understandably. They're not showing up. But fuel poll workers means fewer polling stations are open, and it means there's going to be longer lines, and not everyone can afford to stay and wait in those long lines, especially in communities of color. But the good news most poll working paid, and in some states you can be as young as sixteen to do it. So if you're interested and you have the time, this is your chance to save your granny. Protect Democracy and get paid until next week. Stay safe out there and remember if I ask you for money on social media. Send it to me. I'm joking I'm joking. That's never me. I will never ask you for money on social media. I will ask him person. The daily show, the criminal years addition watch the daily show weeknights at eleven ten central on comedy, central and comedy, central watch full episodes and videos at the daily show dot com follow us on facebook, twitter and Instagram, and subscribe to the daily show on Youtube Exclusive Austin and. This has been a comedy central podcast.

Trevor twitter President Trevor Noah Connie Donald J trump Patton oswalt Barbados Asheville Turkmenistan Joe Biden United States Russia White House Sloan Michelle Iran America Instagram
671. Patton Oswalt, Mike O'Brien, Mary Sohn

Comedy Bang Bang

1:17:36 hr | 5 months ago

671. Patton Oswalt, Mike O'Brien, Mary Sohn

"UNSPOILED is back for season two Paul and amy tackle the one hundred, and now they're making their own list starting with back to school movies. Check out the first episode on Mean Girls Right now on stitcher apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Are you. One of those people who think it's okay to drive stone I, mean, what's the worst that can happen you end up driving below the speed limit right? It's no big deal. Oh wrong. The truth is your reaction time slow way down when you're high, you not only put yourself in danger but everyone around you talk about a buzzkill stop kidding yourself. It's not okay to drive high. If you've been using marijuana in any form, do not get behind the wheel. If you feel different, you drive different drive high get a Dui everyone Scott Ackerman you're old buddy. Host of Comedy Bang Bang you know if you WANNA listen to Comedy Bang Bang without ads and get access to our older episodes all of the older episodes that are so classic well. There's I'm sorry there's just no way to do that. Except by signing up for stitcher premium, that's right. Just go to stitcher premium DOT COM or the premium tab in your stitcher APP and sign up with the Promo Code CB to get a free month of premium listening you get added free listening to Comedy Bang Bang All your favorite ear wolf and stitcher shows plus our full episode archive and your premium subscription helps support us in the show directly to that stitcher premium dot Com Promo Code CB for a free month of stitcher premium. Thanks. Dan. Back. I'm by. A. Rub My belly for luck. Go a little lower. We'll fuck welcome to comedy bang. o our guest just about did a spit take. took an opportune sip of water right? What I said the Catchphrase Division. Thank you to Tuti, but to D- Butts for that wonderful catchphrases admission. And Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week last day of Augie Doggie and Augie Doggie to remember Augie Doggie twenty twenty one of the best ones of all of our lives. And Welcome to Bang Bang. We have very exciting show coming up I. We have a three participants in what I, like to call a television program. And then coming up a little later in the show, we have a couple of thespians that'll be very exciting to duct to some people who tread the boards as the immortal Bard One said, he should call himself the immortal board because he tread the boards but you know that was his mistake Shakespeare Ya done fucked up. Let's get to our I. Guess I'm Scott Document by the way I'm your host and. Make her way through twenty twenty and just a few scant months ahead of us but let's talk to our first guests. They are the aforementioned participants in the television show, which is called AP bio. And the third season of which premieres on peacock this Thursday all eight episodes available at once for you to binge-watch of your individ- watching I of course, like to purge watch things I watch the purge. But you can do at this Thursday. Please, welcome Creator Mike O'Brien and stars Patton oswalt and Mary Sewn. Hello. Hi Sean Mary you just did something physical. But now you said hello okay. Thank you. This is an audio medium. You can't just wave your hands. What do you call that move by the way it almost seemed like reverse karate chops and that's not that's not that's not me. Let's literally with what the hands were doing. Not Putting anything on that. Let's let's go from the top on this. Bang. Bang Bang. Oh, man I. Love The way you sing that Mike. I think I. Think the fact that you use the term karate chops like. Early Seventies. How else would you describe this? I mean you could call it a Tomahawk Chop because that's not even that's not better. There's no way out of this. There's no way. Did I guess I guess our robots is that what is that offensive to robots suddenly? Oh boy I've done it. I'm canceled. Welcome to the show guys. Welcome back to the show. Patent you've been on the show before yes. Hang on I just got a text from my daughter she locks herself out on the front porch. So talk to Mike and Mary back in two seconds okay wow. I have never heard that particular excuse for exiting podcast before but that's that's definitely a poop. Well Mike and Mary so good to see you guys ap bio this Thursday Mike. You are the Creator is that safe to say do you have created by credit? Yes that's we've we've gone through the all the lawyers and everything and It's safe to say now. Yeah. Okay. There was some sort of issue before and. Did Did Fast Times at Ridgemont high get a hold of you or what exactly was the issue What what I got asked this week was how much I borrowed from Cameron Diaz is bad teacher. Seen. So I was kidding but I I'm aware that As as people may become an me at some point, even though you haven't seen it, it's safe to say she was a pretty bad teacher and you know you can just extrapolate from there and create ap Bio, right? Yeah. You see the poster you're like Oh. Okay. So maybe teachers not so good. Like we need a revolutionary idea when you think about it because we're used to things like dead poet's society where as far as I'm concerned that's one of the best teachers. Well I mean didn't the guys hang himself Drew or did he have a window? Of, rope around his. Neck. He certainly did something. So and really it was a smallish classroom. There is maybe only sixteen students. So that's a really high ratio. For Dead, students. You could so yeah, most students kill themselves. So a bad teacher. Okay. So he was the original bad teacher and then you have Cameron Diaz. Bad teacher but who are some good teachers in in cinematic history or television history I'll take either well, I mean, you know obviously Gabe Kotter? Yes. Is The gold standard which now I just saw him he's he's a poker champion. Now he is a poker champion and poker commenter commentator and I think actually ended up he it was almost like a Jennifer Tilly situation where he ended up making way more money playing poker than he did acting like, Hey, I'm just gonNA play poker. This is awesome which is ironic because it's the kind of thing that he would probably worn his students against. Yes exactly interesting. Does anyone know who we're talking about I wonder padding or you and the oldest people in the world we aren't we really are. We're going to be dropping some Hazel references. And when I talked about the Goldbergs I mean the original Jewish Sitcom from nineteen forty eight. So. Mike you. This is the third season. Of of APP bio and do take us through spoilers on go ahead just take us through everything that happened in the first two seasons. So the biggest thing that I feel like I'm always butting against is that we try we're trying to make a non serialized. Nobody wants anymore. So these are. These are standalone episodes. You can watch one and go that was funny and turned off and not have this issue in the back of your mind like what happens next what happens next yeah, and what were they talking about the whole time? I. Haven't watched it the twenty four before So yeah, it's it's we try to dig deeper into the characters each season, but it doesn't exactly have the like this is the season where they all do this or that, and there's a big change or anything the. What are they do? The main character a failed Harvard professor who's bitter and he moves home. Town of Toledo Ohio and he this all came. and He. Picks a lives in his dad mom's apartment picks up a job teaching high school as an AP bio teacher and in the pilot he realizes he'd be better off to just use these kids to exact revenge on his enemies as opposed to teaching them. Anything and the principal played by Patton oswalt. kind of he doesn't know that detail buddies in on. letting Jack played by Glenn Howard get away with a lot because it looks good for a school to have a former Harvard professor on its website and They also become friends and Jack also slowly becomes friends with the other teachers played by Mary Sewn and company, and eventually a gross really like the kids and bond with them, but not teach them biology. So what takes longer watching? The first two seasons are listening to you describe the. Pushed and pushed. I do bit answers. It sounds fascinating. I gotTA catch up with his show. Mary you play the Character Burger I figure if I pause long enough to jump in Oh. Yeah I just didn't WANNA blast through with my audio. That's actually good test for Kobe. See Ya. We're sending someone over Oh. Thank you. I. Her name yesterday Mary and was this written for you or did they change your name once you were cast or was it just serendipity? You know I would say I credit myself as co-creator kind of. Mike was always coming to me like I. Don't know if he should be a nice teacher. Amedure, and I'm like with bad one bad teacher. and. So I think he just Kinda threw me about you know nice and you guys used to know each other back in Chicago. Did you not? We did indeed we did. We toured in the second city touring company together for a little under a year. We were in a van together about three hundred, sixty, four days of sounds like. Eight. Months. Okay. I'm not doing great at this. I am. You're giving all real answers really respect. Usually do like like a perverted janitor whatever and. No sense it sounds like you resent the fact that we have a third season of our show. Your tone is like I don't know we just. Wanted more. We didn't more than a of people. They sign these contracts thinking wow look at all this money and then come to third year. They're like why the fuck did I do to be doing anything else? Company seasons of this how many seasons are you GonNa do I genuinely I don't know what you're being genuine where you're allowed to be sincere and genuine but I would love to do some more and then we were like, let's all be honest with each other when we're like God, please cancel us because I've been a part of projects where you say that. Yes. please. Cancel it. We've done it. We've done a game show or to be proved or. but then. Chief comes around and like. Wind beneath their wings. Kinda step in for a second. I. Please daily really quick just I just got to say I. Really Really Love after the first two seasons we had on the show which were funny but they were still going. You can sense the how far can we take this and season three is where they went. Oh, we can actually do there's an episode that plays with time and place not just with determined the show but with how TV shows do like previously honor coming up is so it feels like someone is playing a prank on. The network. I I love that episode so much and then there's another one were basically Jack is driven into psychosis from lack of sleep. That is so well written and episode is called this this this for a very specific reason and in it is I mean I laugh and every discussed but that one like I called Glen Up Mike, I cannot wait to see how they shoot. This is GonNa be so fun to watch, but you didn't call Mike up like, Hey, thanks for writing such a great. But you know why? Because he was a guy for doing the job he's supposed to be doing. He's below the line. Yeah. You want to encourage a guy who's about to do a job. that. Sounds amazing. Are you? You're SORTA playing structure this season, Mike Yeah a little bit more. We were debating how often to do that but I think and and we didn't like twice per season. Well would have been three, but it wasn't for covid or kind of four. There's IT depending on how you look at it. But yeah, a little little under half, and then there were two written that we didn't get to shoot a lot of math. 'cause of the China thing but yeah. Also. Trying to remember. Mary has. Just about to click of media. And joining her by the way that's not just joining. Her is true if I could figure out how to do that I'd be. So you there eight episodes coming out. This Thursday you were going to make ten was you know it's funny as you're able to complete all aid there it doesn't just end like seven and a half in is really close to that last day. Pat And you're shooting with Paula Pell right? Yes. I wasn't. It was very touching. Go there is a lot of. At one point halfway through the day someone came through and removed all the doorknobs. Can Push things open with your elbow. We're like, maybe that is it was like march in the scenes. There are no doorknobs in the in the final episode. Well in this, I'm the sets like moving around the set to go from holding or whatever you could push them all that was like an hour before we shut the whole thing down, but there's weird panicky it was tense and we just kept saying if we can get to like nine pm, we have eight episodes and we don't we have six because we black shoot. So I'm of Yup. Wow. So but you got to eight you you endangered everyone's health. And we. We have eight and a half and the ninth episode halfway through, we cut to a lab and a guy like drops beaker and just looks at Oh and then we knew we cut to black eight and a half that reminds me of one of my favorite films. Nine months eight and a half weeks with. That was a great one a good one with some editing. It could've been eight and a half weeks. Yeah. Exactly a little long. I would've taken. Speaking of trip though can base Andrews. Marianne Presley meeting again what happening? I got. To do this. Well. It's a really great show I'm. You know it's it's no secret. You guys that I'm a fan in that You know I asked you guys to be on. And little did I know Mike? You would be so clinical and all your answers. Uh, I don't know whether it's the time of Day the fact that or like do does your brain just kind of like shutdown all of your bid energy after after three or what exactly happens. Yeah great question thank you Scott. So. I I. You know what? I feel like. You haven't watched AP bio and I haven't listened to a lot of Comedy Bang Bang and I didn't know that US genuine questions and then we're supposed to give like. French clowning answers. How this? Works. Okay. Okay, you can listen to other episodes In between the next time, you're on Scott's defense in the with zoom like they send us. The name of three Jacques, Tati? Films. Get Ready I. Hope you prepared. Please I. told You I got that Jacques box at the criterion put out and I could not look at it less often. It's just one of those things I think bought because I was like, yeah, I WANNA be smart this look good on my shelf. Yeah and I just have never cracked it open unfortunately. Oh, the rap still on it. Yeah exactly. My favorite teachers growing up I think. One of the most inspiring. Was Freshman English teacher in College. Kinda. Just blew the lid off like what is possible and what is literature and what is pros and his name's Japan Caskey and that's a real answering of also fucking force in here where exactly was that which Where did you grow up I wanna hear everything about you? I was I grew up in Zane Eve. Is that what in Mexico to? Michigan. Okay. Right outside of Detroit whereas it. was an hour south of Detroit okay wonderful. You hate the real answers you as the Guy Keep you on your toes. GotTa. Keep on your toes. Mary. It's a it's always great to see you on our our screens. Be The be the big. Be They small you? Of course, were in a feature film last year a brightening up the silver screen as they call it. how is it? What is it like to go from a a major motion picture? and then segue into a smaller television show like this. Yeah. Thanks. So much I. would have to say the major difference is on the set of a film. We had some meatballs some loose meatballs, and then how were these meatballs pretty loose I'm talking there was a lot of negative space in between that's not slang. Okay make sure. I'm just imagining a tray with like three meatballs was so much space around them that they just rattle around in there. Forever, rattling their lesson rattling I. Believe on that on that feature film you also were there for about two hours or so I WANNA say as opposed to. AP. Bio where it probably is How how long do you shoot? Let me guess how many days you do per episode great. Let's say you're block shooting I would say you're probably You probably do a lot of your stuff in one day. Per Episode I'm GonNa I'M GONNA say one and a half days per episode. While that's grossly underestimating comedies. How many days per episode we talk at five six what are we? In five per episode. Okay. And so you think you think that that's underestimate you. What are you three days? Four days three to four? Yeah. Three, four on you said. What Are you are you are you down to one what are going to compare now they we have it now where they Come into my trailer. There's a green screen. Move the camera to make look like I'm walking which actually if you've watched Steven seagal films, I think that's what they're doing. Now they literally move the chamber to make it look like he's walking. And he just put different backgrounds. It dreams the set on the show where my offices is so comfy. The couches so nice and the deaths I actually hang out there and I would just told by one of the students one of the accusers students that they've been told not to hang out there you can hang out but it's a very comfy desk. Okay. So this is you publicly saying they can hang out what do you actually tell the these though the dim behind the Staff. I need you to Dylan this. Thing, they can totally hang out and then you. said. Well, AP. Bio is going to be out this Thursday what and on peacock, which is like. A totally new thing it used to be on NBC and now it's on this peacock thing and what is success like Mike what what's IT GONNA take? Does peak, call you after the first weekend and say you're a hint. Do they call you and say like we have no idea how how many people are watching? This is all new. What do they do? Yeah. They say how do you count the people who click it and I'm like you guys didn't set anything up. That's not my job was. Early on, there was a a lot of bad kind of vibe. They're like we really don't know. We really haven't even hired anyone for that area that you're asking about yet but now they seem to have their stuff together and everything and. I can tell because they're being very quiet about it. So I. Think they know exactly what they're doing now and we'll be watching our numbers judge Lee but they've been great Here's the sincere half that you'll hate. Okay. Let's count it down I'll just I'll do a countdown of twenty in the background or do ten. Ted they've been really great were like minimum notes really letting do want gotta gotta eat up seven seconds. Platform. Maneuvers going beyond their. Fun. Thank you could have done five. Great. The Gruber. Yeah use like six seconds on. I can't wait I you know one of my favorite shows now on one of my favorite streaming services, this is like you know you got chocolate peanut butter here. This is amazing which is a reference to Patton you and I would get I'm not sure about anyone younger than us. But Very excited about it great show all the quality of the first two seasons The the budgets was in the in the realm budget within in the realm and I would say, honestly by our strongest season. Wow. Amazing. Well, it's a great show. I can't wait to see it and peacock this Thursday. If you don't have peacock yet, it's as simple as just pressing a couple of buttons on a remote I think and then it comes up or something like that. It's pretty amazing. We have to take a break did my mom right that for you? You hit some buttons on thing and then it's there I got a little text from her if you don't mind I I, I've been constantly texting your mom. Hey tell them. And get it. All right. Well, that's enough of that. We are going to be right back with more from Patton Oswalt and Mike and Mary. I know you guys have gotta go That's okay. So we'll see you another time. But when we come back, we'll have a couple of thespians very exciting. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang Bang after this. 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And then millions of other things restaurants in gyms, for instance, to turn great ideas into something real head over to squarespace dot com slash Bang Bang for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch us the offer Code Bang and you will save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain that is squarespace.com com slash Bang Bang Offer Code Bang Bang. Bang Bang. We're back here Patton Oswalt this here and Mike and Mary had ago. How do you feel about that pattern? I'm a little bit insulted like I thought I was also busy but apparently non. Busy as those guys and I'm happy to be here for the duration because. That's gives us room to talk about agents of shield in was You know all of Veronica Mars, all of the stuff you're not willing grace. Shows there is not a show the patent does not owner you're trying to hit them. All right touch them I. Really Am I'm trying to I'm basically trying to unlock my version of the Davinci code if I can just. Get, an MD, seeing of every show going I'd want to say what will happen but there's some sort of a boss level isn't there some show like Sopranos or something like that there is a there's a date player boss level I'm trying to reach an damaged I'm gonNA. Do it well, speaking of days Let's bring on our next guests who are alive during the days as well as nights good segue and They are to thespians patented you ever do any theater. I've never actually I did a little bit in high school but what do? I did or are you the guy in Carousel came out and said Charissa know gun that would have been great I did music man I was the Little Ron. Howard role. Oh the guy who's like what does he sing? Well, Fargo Wagon it. Doesn't have a solo. He seems like something Thorpe winthrop Gary Indiana Gary Indiana. Indian GECKO. Music Man I was. We just mentioned, music man. Oh. Man. Bye Bye Birdie Oh, by bet where you Conrad know who is the boyfriend? Don't know I. Am Not that familiar with bye birdie Oh blanking. Okay. He's the one that liked the girl dumps for. Birdie. Is. He come to me late he a drip and Conrad is cool or. Drip and then Conrad although she thinks he's a dream and then when Conrad comes to town, it's like, oh no, you get to wear a leather jacket or where you like a suit jacket let sweater and Letterman jacket. Pictures of this if you can send me pictures, that's all right. But we do need to get to our next guest. They they are in a I would imagine assorted theater roles themselves from Adrian Michigan. Please welcome Bob and Cherilyn Wessex. Readings. Yes. Hello. Nice to meet you. You are a married couple or you or do you just have the same name Wessex and I joined you together? Rudely like that in your introduction. You wouldn't believe how many times we get that. We have been married for thirty years happily and performing at nightly in our own theater here Adrian for twenty-five while so you there was a good five year honeymoon period where you guys were just what enjoying each other's bodies in marital bliss. What exactly A very slow chuckle just saying. I get all of you Scott. Thank you very much but if you could compress, you're chuckling time I. Look I, Love It. I love the immediate feedback that laugh brings. But if you could just take down, your chuckle seems to be about five seconds if you could take it down to three, that would be okay I'll give it a try. Why just now I'm wondering what is the timeframe were chuckle. Were reached the point where then it becomes kind of eerie like what is the cutoff point of that? That's that's interesting and every thought of that it crossed over at five seconds to me I. Agree I. Think I agree a little ominous then after five. Yeah. Three thanks got if you need me to count it down I, did that for previous guest worked out really well yes I heard that and he was a great guest I liked his sincere answers. Phantasmal I expect no less from the two of you. You've been married for thirty years sounds to me like one, thousand, nine, hundred, ninety you got married just right before grunge swept the imagination of America that play into why you got married at all. That was about three You you have teed us up says to old dusty theater creators. We love to talk about grunge. Thank you Scott. Do. So because nineteen ninety-five is when you started. Theater, that's right. and. We we went to Lollapalooza drove home and wrote the icy frosty marriage, which was our first play. We did not. We did not go to Lollapalooza. We went to see the ice man cometh Oh na kept it ice based. Okay. So the icy frosty marriage was your first theater production and you wrote this to us we ride actually all of our. Our our plays and we produce them ourselves as well. Oh. Okay. So writer producer, what about director you a farm that out? No Sir Direction we do the costumes and all the makeup. What would you like a sample of ICY PROC- marriage I frosty marriage, and this is somewhat inspired by the ICEMAN Cometh, which is another one of those ones that just have never dipped into it. So long isn't like four hours long. It's I don't know how many hours it's one hundred and forty two pages Oh. Okay. That's well okay. Yeah. Minute a page it's over two hours. Didn't Kevin Spacey do the iceman Cometh is at the the version useful yes we saw Kevin in Adrian and. It was great. We did Miss Lau Blues Afford as I said, but it was Oh, so you had tickets to Lollapalooza. Primacy you. Because you were denigrate again earlier but you actually it was just they were on the same night. Okay. Yes. I, do want to hear this is a got your money or saying Perry Farrell got your money, but you'd you picked iceman cometh. That's correct. Yes. Perry. Got My money gave some to less pool and sure we I mean how how much we don't know but. I I don't know how much it broke down per ticket price and what we're tickets back. Then they were probably about a fifty dollars or so back in one, thousand, nine, hundred, and ninety five. Hundred. Three two. He took the note he truly did. All right. The IC. What does it call the ICY frosty marriage? Yes. The ICY frosty marriage. What what? Do we need any kind of a setup to this I. Think it's pretty it'll be apparent. Okay. Yeah. Everyone in Adrian. Michigan asked us to do this scene. It's a bit well known. It's. All. Right. Well, let's take it into the national spotlight here on Comedy Bang Bang. This is a piece from icy frosty marriage by Baba and in Wessex take it away guys. The door slams. Your home. Did you think I wouldn't be waiting for you. In the garden at. Eleven PM Stanley. I got my foot cart. Otherwise I would. How was dinner? Your breath smells like booze and if I hear that your foot is stuck in another thing that's divorce. God I. Hope it doesn't get caught and another thing then. Because, honey baby. I want to iron out the wrinkles once and for all. What? I didn't kiss that chick. Then, what is this on your caller? Bats stick. From Hera. And that's where that scene ends. Oh, that's where that's. The big. Very. Nice. Taste. That was powerful stuff. Amazing Weta is the first seen in the play or the last scene or somewhere in the middle? That's the beginning of act for the beginning of four. Okay. Out of how many acts six six act. Wow Shakespeare permission no intermission no intermission. It's clearly to be consumed as one Well, I mean you wouldn't take an intermission in the middle of a sandwich. Would you? That's my thoughts. Exactly. Yeah. How many? How many pages result pages the is marriage Four, hundred, fifty, two pages. WHOA. That's step. Aside a apartment perfect doesn't exactly what I was GonNa? Say I. was going to say a little long to sounds to be about nine hour long performances it. That's about right yes sir. I would need maybe a snack. And we some some cheese and crackers. It's like a eight primis sets at one, thousand, nine, hundred, five Lollapalooza. Trying to picture how long were usually primis would only do one per lollapalooza right right I'm just saying. To give a chunk of time, people can relate to sure. Okay and so what so in if we're using primates sets to measure this, what song does that seem drop on that? Jerry. was raised racecar driver a mud like which one is that Yes i South Park theme in any of the sets. If. You're lucky I suppose I wouldn't know I was at iceman. You missed it was boring. It was. My God. Why are you so inspired to write this show. Then if you hate it was we did a hate, right Okay Average of Eight. Eight writing Oh my gosh. So so how is it different than? Than the iceman cometh because it seems to be mining similar territory Oh yeah. Of a marriage that's dissolving and falling apart and infidelity I would say it was mostly took the name. As the inspiration rather than the content and I remember that particular summer we didn't go to Lollapalooza also because was incredibly hot I don't know if you know. In Chicago and the debt summer, you don't want to be called there. Where do you WANNA be in ICEMAN's icebox. Okay. So you were living in Chicago at the time or you're traveling over for Michigan is that what we're doing? The iceman cometh is that's that's the one with the main characters. Hickey right. So who who played him in the version that you saw we as we said, we saw it with space that was A. Chicago yeah. Okay Yeah Yeah, was that at the steppenwolf where exactly what? We didn't go to iceman comments what that what you want them lawyers. I. You guys comey had tickets iceman comment, and we'd tickets to Lollapalooza with featuring primis and Alice in chains and we stayed home and had sex is that what you want? A Yeah I don't know why you're lying about it. Is that what you're wanting us? Visions and then we wrote a play afterwards. Where does the where did the hate right come from? Then if you didn't have to experience I, think he was lying I. Think he was lying about there was no. Okay. Why were you lying to seem cool? Yes. I have heavy guilt about missing Lollapalooza and when you say, Oh, it's because we we were driving to see a famous play they were like well, then that makes sense because primus killed in you missed it. and. Then when you say, no, we got kind of lazy and we ate a bunch of chicken wings and had sex and Rhode terrible play. Then you as a terrible terrible, our number one. This is prize to use heroin. I was never discussed this. No, grilling us and grilling us what about the second word of ICEMAN coming we didn't go. We had sweaty panty sex. Heavy breathing not underwear I. Okay. I'm over that part of it. Now, I'm I've actually moved onto the fact that you seem to hate this play that you've written has been performing for the past twenty five years I'm stupid in it Bob you are remarkable. Well, let me ask you this. Do hate all of our place I hate my. What are what are some of the other plays? Well, I'm Bob I'm thinking right off the top of my second favorite is the women who speak their mind series we did Gal Gal. Gal Yes I like that one as a play. At the hated my performance. Yes Galileo around Gal was great. It's what part did you have in that Bob. Sally you Sally Okay Doi of two sisters. So. You just don't like your performances. You think you're a bad actor or you don't like the lines of the you're you have to speak. Bob Hope some of the costumes make me look fat and stupid. Do you WANNA see some, Gail come around go. Yeah, I do. Yeah. Go you're playing two sisters guess Scott. Don't you testy with me Bob, you're the one who came on this show lying to patent. I hadn't Nyerere here we're interested in your life in the whole. The whole first fifteen minutes of this has just been a duplicitous Chirad, the the two things I like our live theater and the truth and. Both. Of those are are just often go hand in hand. Do they not I would say always go yes. Yes. So to see these two liars well I guess. I don't know that you're. there. Well. I. Mean you lying by Omission? You never said, Hey, no, we never did see the ICEMAN cometh corrected him. All right anyway. And you know a lot of prime songs for that. Now being in your top two things you like. Did, you ever get to see PRIMIS. I still have not are they done? I don't know. Nobody knows that. I'm. Fairly easy to find out you think now. Never know do you know less Klay Pool? Know who are the other two people in the ban by the way and the other guys? The rest of the old professor Marianne treatment. Do you know what that means I. Yes you and I are the only ones. If you make any old reference, just you don't need to ask not. Sad. Are Right. Bother sherline. Let's hear a little bit from Gal. Gal Is that what the title was correct. I was changing. I didn't mean to come in like that. I just barged in looking all fat and stupid. Don't look fat and stupid Sally I think you coaches. Like what what part? Well, I like the way your stomach looks like its divided in between those shoelaces. Looks Neat. Like it's blast out. I don't think I look fat and stupid I would have liked to have a baggy dress. But that wouldn't suit you and you're not stupid look. You've got a book in your left hand. Well, I was just using that to hit my face every time I say something stupid. Sale it. What if we did this would if you put on this gown and you went out there and you got married today. You would let me do that with your boyfriend. What our sisters for? Thank you and mind you. Do. End Seen Oh. Okay. They're not twins by the way. Okay. I not no one said they were I know I'm just saying you must be curious how we tricked the husband. Yeah. I didn't I didn't think there was a trick part of it. I just thought that it was explained to him. What was that? Take place early in the play, and then we see the rams. Or is that? A, two gentlemen of Verona like you know Not to mention the immortal bard again. It is it's kind of like two gentlemen of Verona and a lot of ways having seen that I would say. Hey Stop I can tell now you have you ever tell you have. You looked up into the left when you said that. You didn't see that. Did you what did you do? Instead we got pizza and and and we ate the whole. And then we fell asleep and then we woke up and then we did it Doggie style and then we went back to bed sweaty and t sex sweaty. Knew it. I knew it. Well, they're going to ask you something you. You write these plays Yes yes. Yes. All of them but you hate. Your what you have to say and that you you look at just the White, why do you write characters that make you feel awful about yourself that you eight playing it's a good good hard hard. I I would say I i. go into it loving it, and then we be making the costumes and by the time we're done I I hate the costumes because we're not very good at that part, and so always there's a little part of you and sometimes tends to be the part. You're not liking that month that pokes out of the custom somewhere and you don't realize it until opening night and I add some lines about that too because I assume everyone's thinking it. Yeah. Home. Could somehow during the process, stop yourself and say, Oh, wait a minute maybe maybe we should hire someone to make these costumes instead of doing something I'm not good at you know and making myself look fat and and shutting my distended belly out for the entire audience to see it sounds like you guys are teeing up to Mars and back I don't I don't. Know what that means. What does that mean we're catching your drift where can you want a little little taste of Mars and back to? Sports play Oh it's not the name of a lawyer. To. Mars and back. And Associates. This is to Mars and back is that what you're saying that's correct. Yes. No. Not My lawyers name. That is the same syllables. Okay. So you WANNA do a section from to Mars and back? Yes. Okay. This is two thousand and four. Yes. Okay. Fantastic. Jenny do you think the spaceship will really make it the whole way you know it I believe believed to? Oh my gosh. What could it be a flying saucer right at me. Could it be coded be. Grade in these little pants. Enzi. That's that's Oh, I can't even plot was so startled by the was starting. Her more than. That seen mid song what you know what? That's the kind of game of the play that we start songs and abruptly stopped them. It keeps the. Audience. On the edge of their seats I'm wondering Bob Y. You thought I was teen you up to to hear that when we were talking about your fat belly well. Okay. Fine. So the song had five more verses originally and they were all about how the pants were too tight and I feel fat and stupid. And the critics came at and so after the first night, we cut it down to just those few lines where I say these answer but it's OK. and. Critics like anything you do however your reviews well, the critics in Adrian Michigan just the folks that live there. They can't they. There's more than one. There's more than one critic you have a lot of newspapers in Adrian, Michigan. We've got three, two three, which will listen if you could. There's the Adrian Telegram. Okay. Then there's the the right wing hatch it. They're. Rough. Oh. Really see they don't like our stuff theater in general or just your stuff. I'm impressed. The right wing paper has a theater critic though like it goes out reviews plays do they do and then there's the COINCIDENTALLY NAMED INSANE CLOWN POSSE hatchet they're both the hatchet. So you always say, well, which hatchet pandas this. Exactly with insane clown posse started a newspaper in your town of Michigan. Yes. Southeast Michigan Insane. Clown posse and there's a theater review section in the insane clown Posse newspaper both hatchets fulltime reviewers they're both making over fifty thousand dollars a year to just review Adrian Michigan Place. Yes. I'm Sherry does the ICP theater critic this show up in the clown makeup. Would imagine would make it very easy to being run focus. He steals a lot of. People think that he's part of the show and they're always looking at him you. It's like other. Yeah, the other hatchet review is always I wondered when the guy with the makeup would get up and say something and he never did. All right. Look we have to take a break. You guys stick around I find you guys endlessly fascinating if that's okay, we have to go Scott. Please don't. Police say okay. Plays I WANNA it. Yeah. I WANNA. Hear about it. Okay. We'll be right back more comedy Bang Bang after this. As we slowly adjust to a new normal, we still need to be smart about how we do business well. With a problem like that seemingly has no solution. But actually there is we have stamps dot com to make things easier stamps, dot com brings all the mailing and all those shipping services that you need right to your computer in the comfort and I sincerely hope it's comfortable of your home or your office so whether you're a small business sending invoices or maybe you're an online seller shipping out products or maybe you're just. Average. Joe Real Joe the plumber type just working from home just a working stiff from home with a gravelly voice. 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Dude who? Dude. Tom Company Bang Bang we are back Patton Oswalt is here of the Virginia Oswalt. Yes. Virginia Aswa the tidewater oswalt says we call ourselves States we have from the great. State of Michigan. We have Bob and Lynn Wessex here who are a they are dramatists They are They write the book and apparently the music to their plays. They also make the costumes they apply makeup or do you make the makeup we do both. We do you mix the makeup that you use? mixologist. We find colorful stones and mash them up and. Get some oils from leaves, it's not rocket science. It's makeup sides I. Don't think I can do it. Now are all I'm to person plays or D- is there a theater community in Adrian Michigan that you guys draw from a well we don't draw from the community although it's vibrant but it sounds like an order to have so many theatre critics working full-time. Yeah that's true. All making over fifty th. Over, fifty thousand. Fifty, one, thousand, fifty to. One hundred and fifty thousand, a million dollars. The last time I got drunk with those mean critics and they told me their salaries was two years ago so. I don't know if it's gone up more but their salaries door few guys like. The nut you make at the end of your productions. The nut. What The nut. You're like, what? What are you making? What's Yeah, what's your nut at the end of the production? We have not and you want to know what it is. Yeah. How much you make how much you clearing? I just don't want it ask that way. L., how much money do you make? Zach clinical enough for you. Thank you. Negative. O. Every? To answer. Your question patent one of our plays involved twelve people. With actors if you will. Oh, how many of these characters did you play Bob Six? Oh so it was purely even six and six. Yes I. Most challenging play but are most controversial wouldn't you? Don't see. Yeah. The two don't seem related I. Don't know why you said but in the middle of I have trouble with words sometimes while the other day I said God rest his soul and the person thought I was talking about somebody who had died but I just met I, met God bless her soul Oh, I see I see de did that lead to any kind of like You. Know Two gentlemen of Rona style escapades Scott I see what you're trying to do, and we're just trying to have a nice night. This is actually our anniversary today. So congratulations go. Twenty five. No thirty. For thirty years. which the gift. For us it's a, it's a tremendously large rock. I found that I think will be years worth of That's right. Yeah. You know sherline you should surprise Bob may be with the primary tickets on one of these wedding anniversary Scott Way to ruin the surprise. Whole. I'm so sorry that's what you were. That's what you got Bob this year. Yes. I actually did look and promises not touring anymore. So I. learned their whole Canon and I was going to do it for you this evening. Oh go go ahead. Go I mean I hate to spoil the surprise but go ahead and do it right now. Gosh. But where to even start I just learned. So many of them please have the beginning worse. The first album actually hold on. Let me. I'm just going to order a Burrito if like one as well. Make It. Get. ONE IS LARGEST MED. Boy Sounds like you guys are GonNa get wet and sticky tonight if you know. What happens after you guys order out. We're going to ring your next, but you're right. We're going to have sex afterwards. All right. So let's hear a selection from sailing the seas of cheese. This is Cheryl in. Wessex doing the music of Primis. Dude. Dude. Don't do the play where we are all different parts Oh. Yeah. I. Guess. Actually the beginning of the nine. Oh, two one. Oh, theme song. Not Right. Right Oh. I wonder. You were just about to clap claps. Okay. Maybe you just learned the wrong songs. Yeah. What is the show where you played six different parts of peace it's called my China doll. My China doll okay. Interesting. Is that a metaphor for what the characters are going through the does do some of the characters feel trapped in unable a little like the glass menagerie the glass menagerie reflects the. Emotional state of the protagonist where she feels like she's always protected and unable to have relationships is that is that what this is like? You know that that's what that is Yeah. No This is a this was about a dollar, a woman who brings a down home from China to our big family. Oh and does it okay well, I don't WANNA spoil it go ahead. Let's. Let's see the scene. The fuck is this. The fuck is this little fucking doll some special in it's not for you. Well I WANNA see it. You get away from it you get out of here. Talk perhaps you're never getting out of that box letter out telegram. Please sweet. Oh a telegram. Hello. Yes it's from the front. It says send help. Germans have cornered stop. Sent help soon stop. That sounds trouble. All right. Let her out of the box. No. You broke the doll, the one thing I own. argest I just wanted to have a nice thanksgiving. So Oh over. Here Yeah, the the reveal at the end is that it's thanksgiving. Oh okay. How do people leave theater with a sense of clarity regarding that? Or how does that change I mean? Why is it a reveal? Usually that would be at the beginning you hide that it's thanksgiving. The whole time wouldn't of yeah. It seems like the smell of Turkey. Ever all those drawings of people's hands the dirt turned into Turkeys everywhere. Well, for one thing, we do the set design so we just didn't put those up. But we say Throughout Act One what holiday we're having homemade. Gosh. This holiday and then at the Act One intermission guy says I'll tell you what holiday it is in the curtains come crashing close how fast do they come crashing? Injury. You guys doing the curtains as well. Absolutely. Oh higher out guys get some employees I mean look I love the efficiency. I. Love the DIY Spirit but sure you're keeping Costlo. Search thing that's taking it too far. When you want it done right you do it yourself art yes but. It seems that yeah you're very diy but it seems you make costumes that you hate that you hate wearing that make you angry and make you add lines and then the curtain Churchill. And you're not in the woods banging rocks and leaves together to make it just seems a little aggressive into yourselves. And don't make any money I I'm not convinced that you guys should be doing any of this. Yeah. Are you popular like just like Oh there's a new one. They did it again. Here we go. Like, do you have a following her pet and have you been talking to the people of Adrian Michigan I was wondering? 'cause they. They show up in droves and and yeah, they they laugh. They laugh at times when we're not hoping for a laugh but go. Thanks sorry speaking they might be hate watching it and I've seen money exchange hands in the middle of it like there are bets on when. A lot of times I'll say I feel fat and stupid and you see just money things all over the place people look at their watch and then. To the person next to them. And that leads you to believe that. What the people in her? Information you've picked. I worry I worry that. There are beds. And that they're not really losing themselves in the. World. We've created. You keep on changing the dialogue I wish it would just. Text. I trusted until I look down and see like whiteside squeezing out of a weird whole. We both thought was cool to cut into the. You're cutting holes in the sites of all these. Costumes. This. Okay. All right I mean look I'm no the I know you would never do this, but has it ever been? Have you ever been tempted to go? Well, I know that they're going I know that funny it's going to be exchanged when I say feel fence stupid. So do you you anonymously make bets on on? Yeah you can be throwing. Yeah. Yes. Throwing stupidly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Do that. Yeah. Like anonymously taking on you calling the local bookie and figuring out what the odds are on either side of the line and then you know basically essentially you'd make more money than doing the theater you keep financing future place yeah. Yes this is see what all this is. You brought us on here you're asking how much we make in comparison to the rich critics at the hatchets and all that and then you're saying Oh you fix the bets and if you guys don't make any money yes. Yes. Yes is that what? Yes, what? Yes it's rigged where Pete Rose of theatre Adrian's you are doing it. Oh, my God I can't believe you just drop that. You've been lying to us this whole time you. Stupid. I do feel fat and sue but I just get the over under on when people think I'll say. How do you think we've maintained this theater? What incredible con now, I respect you guys sometimes most often nowadays has to be the opening line of the play because people say. Stupid. It seems to be like you get out of the way then people can relax and enjoy the rest of the show. Yeah. It's true and I'd like to think they do maybe they do I mean you're saying people are it seems to be something that's bringing Adrian together as a community. Yeah, and you guys seem to enjoy each other Bob. You don't seem to enjoy the process as much as maybe Sheridan does but it's kept you guys together for now twenty five of those thirty years you've been married is true I'm very happy happily married and all that and and at least even our worst little turds squeezed out our bodies better than fucking Hamilton well Oh. Okay. I would agree with that. So yeah. Did you ever see Hamilton I actually did see Hamilton No, you didn't I can tell me. What did you do? Instead, we got heroes and had sex. and wasn't good sex. Was it worth it? It was. Tickets are expensive was. I was too sweaty at the euro. was was a very heavy garlicky. Wet. Zeki was every we were in the back of a What? Like a station wagon. are in the back of a station wagon, have the euros and also I'll tell you what when someone burps in the back of a station wagon having housed a euro you really get to know a different side of them. A little microwave with all the Hamilton people pouring out of the theater around US laughing and rapping, and we're in there just steaming up the station wagon. Amazing. Park. I don't know. How were you able to park your station wagon right in front of the Richard Rodgers theatre. Yes. Right. In front of Richard Rodgers theatre. Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. It sounds like you're lying. Park there. Did you even make it to New York? Yeah. No, we were in New York and. Data where were you? Where were you? We're in the back of Arby's parking lot in the people passing by we're slapping the windows and same you guys are having the smelly as sex please stop. Oh my God. I look I. I, gotTa Ask like, were you both in the theater when you met was one in the theater was one not was this a shared dream as a dream that you have it seems like neither of you like it well, especially, I I was going to say besides the writing the set direction, the costuming and the performing Is there anything you like about theater I. Love Stage whispering. Oh that is search whispering for people who don't know is is is giving the illusion that you're whispering when you're on stage but it's loud enough for the entire Rice era it was a little example of that sherline. Buddy thought all. Right so that is a projecting enough for the back of the theater to here and you put your hand you it took us five plays to learn that you put your hand up stage. Yeah. So so that the audience can see your mouth than blocking your mouth. Yes, got yes I know these terms because I know you know it used to be a bit of Thespian myself up stage, of course, refers to the days when stages were tilted so that the bottom of the stage was down in the back of the stage was up. Raked. Thank. You wait. Did you know that or you just shouting out raked? I. took a guest in just looking at the leaves outside Your House right now. Yes I would I describe them Scott. What what what plays were you in I was in Oklahoma West side story Joseph Amazing technicolor dream codes you see any of those we all know you haven't God. Damn. It have you seen any play. Do. have. You seen any theater at all your entire life good question tough question tough to I already know the answer you have not why would you ever? Why would you do plays if you've never even seen one in, don't know what makes a good one it's not a play but one time I I saw a man who murdered my grandmother electrocuted. I mean there was a curtain probably when they pulled the current. wiki little yellow curtain closed when they're like Outta here. Now it's done. Yeah. How did that affect you profoundly? It's basically the whole thing of. Zig App Ouchi my head the two thousand, fourteen I'm sorry use you. You watched alive execution in your interpretation that is a play cuff ZIP ZAP out she my head yes. That the title is from the point of view of the Guy Getting the guy getting your. That? Yeah. Yeah. Let's hear a little bit of zips APP. Ouchi my head and and then that's GonNa be the last one here because we we are running out of time Okay I'm just trying to set expectations last one. No I. Mean. I would love to hear more but unfortunately, the clock ticking as it does. This is Bob and Cherilyn Wessex from ZIP ZAP out she my head inspired by the death of. The man who murdered your grandfather grandmother Yes grandmother Owen how did she die? Strangulation from a man who got electrocuted later. Okay. So it was was it a mutual strangulation was at some sort of like sex thing or she was in her hands were the first layer in his the outer, but he's still got in trouble. Unusual. To ask about murders wasn't mutual shirt. I just wanted to know this ZIP ZAP out. Bobbins Cherilyn Wessex. Here we go. Well, what would you like is your last meal. I'd like a little bit of beans. Coleslaw. Go. Easy on the juice you just want fix. Well what do you suggest a slab of meat do rib how about a porterhouse now, this section, she lists cuts of meat for about five more minutes and then we snap back. Okay or just. Just a salad for me this frigging jumpsuit with all its weird holes in. Got Me feeling so fat and stupid. Just give me some kind of light salad or whatever I don't care. It's your last meal at a California roll at most I just. I can't I if I have another meal like that I just feel like shit. Three, sill one the. I'll my head. That's The and the lights flickered in the theater I can only imagine yeah, that's impactful. Honestly, that was the most powerful one yet I you know I mean the whole five minutes period of listening stakes I think you right to edit that out in the reality so yeah, I mean it's canned. We got can't buy that one would've been avangard. Violent J gripped in this steak list. He is their theater. Is there an? Amazing that. Guys I keep making that money keep making that that I mean you you're raking it in hand over fist with the site bits the side pot action. Actually. Yeah I mean to Gabe Kaplan Rake. Oh. Okay. Yes. I think he's a great callback, but you said Rick Callback who gave Kaplan no callback. Who gave Catholic Oh that'll be a sideshow will We do a podcast I just explained Gabe. Kaplan things yet. We should do a little or wish you and I should do one at the end of each episode. We explain all of our references. Yeah. That'll be good. Well, I've footnotes at the end of these while we are running out of time, we just have time for one final feature on the show, and that is a little something called plugs. Shut. down. Your. Body cares which? Hey that was existential plug by Wasi Wasi thank you. For that all right guys what are we plugging obviously ap bio this Thursday, first of all, you can see all of the previous two seasons on peacock currently, and then this Thursday they're all dropped all at the same time, all these AIDS including these to that that sound incredibly amazing, and then a couple of those episodes sound. Probably you can see them being a little rushed because it sounds like you're getting to the end of the day. Up Against. People like saying their lines really quickly looking at their watches you can tell it's from those today's right. There's there's some boom legs in the shot we just we had to us we had no. Yes all all eight episodes are favorite season yet super exciting check it out set third this Thursday this Thursday into you guys plug anything else you want I mean this is your time patent. You have anything else coming out I just really am excited for people to watch three of AP bio on peacock. Good Yeah, are you nominated for an emmy or anything coming up I am nominated for a best writing and variety special and today's the last day the people can vote on that if you are a television academy member. Throw. Talking for clapping how about you go there click that box. Thanks. Yeah. Mike anything or no I'm sorry. Not Mike Bob. Anything else. Looking AP bio Bob. Yes I. I was check out the eight episodes. But yeah, no this Friday, we open our brand new musical Don't tell me about it. Sing me about it. So check it out. It's at eight PM tickets are forty five dollars piece and we will see you there I think it's a I think this one's a really good Scott. We haven't finished the costumes yet but. They're getting there and we're very confident and this don't put those don't put the holes that don't put the weird holes where your stomach is. Okay. I doubt I doubt. We will we I don't think we will is that a late edition in the process usually sometimes that's the night before screaming and crying and then yes, some of the lines change the next day. Yes. Okay. All right. Only not this time Charlotte anything else else you WANNA plug. Just I. Just that show ap bio I just heard. It's fantastic again towards the end it seems like anytime a character would cough. Do a star swipe off into something else but again, I think it's an incredible show. Fantastic. All right I wanNA plug. First of all, we mentioned emmys. If you are a television academy voter, throw me a vote for between two earns anyone in the EMMYS. Vote on that so You know please please feel free to click on our name and I. Also WanNa Plug. My side podcasts. We have to talking TNT on CB, we have new episodes coming out this Thursday. It's the podcast where I talk about the teenage mutant Ninja Turtles. With sprague the whisper you can get all of those episodes at distance Patriot fan which is You just look patriotic. Sean distant. All right. Let's close up the plug bag. With a see when you own go. Within And then you. Yoko Power bag. All right guys I WANNA. Thank you so much a patent always great to see you. Thank you so much for having me on. Again, our beloved leisure Thank you for being here and Bob and Lynn Good luck to you I mean how much do you think you're going to rake in on these on these bets come Friday if we go fat and stupid in the first twenty minutes, we stand to gain forty thousand dollars. So you bet. So you bet forty and you're gonNA gain forty or you bet twenty and you're going to get twenty. What's your nut? Scott. Okay, right. Well. Good luck and can do just a little section of that show Don't don't tell me about it. Sing me about it opening this. Friday in Michigan I forget the name of the. Town there Adrian just a little skin. Yeah. Adrian Michigan, just a little taste. Well Barbara don't tell me about it. Just say it. You, expect me to say. Well why wouldn't you? Because I. Want to sing about it I. don't care about that. Just say it are you pregnant or not just say the words don't sing it. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. You didn't tell me. Oh. Shit what is this teacher as it's been the whole time this whole sweaty side of my stomach. Yeah. How bags by.

Mike Bang Bang Scott Ackerman Michigan Bob Patton oswalt Sean Mary squarespace Adrian Michigan ICEMAN Chicago Mike Yeah Adrian China Shakespeare Cameron Diaz professor US front porch Jennifer Tilly
Mary Lynn Rajskub | Comedy|Actress| 24 |Mr. Show| Doin' It! With Danny and Jenny | Danny Zuker & Jenny Johnson

Doin it! with Danny and Jenny

1:25:26 hr | 2 years ago

Mary Lynn Rajskub | Comedy|Actress| 24 |Mr. Show| Doin' It! With Danny and Jenny | Danny Zuker & Jenny Johnson

"GW Aja pea really and bought a revolution in podcasts. Thank you. We like Brayden for the theme song Always as always thought I get to listen to that song everytime. We have a podcast or I'm in my car. I actually set my alarm for wake up. Yeah. Yeah, so I feel good about me. I am a wake up song. I do Bill Withers Lovely Day me to do we ever talked about this. Have you ever thought about this know whether it's lovely day is your wake-up song literally was my wake-up song. Is it still? Well, I I got rid of that job. But what is it now? Nothing. It's just an alarm someone going like you or you push it is your fuckin Loser. Yeah, but get so weird that it's lovely day. That was mine. That is interesting. Yeah. I thought maybe this is why we're maybe we're friends. I know in this call May wake up song is War. What? Is it? Good for absolutely. Nothing. Say it again. Yeah, I'm thinking about making mine Rock Me Amadeus. Mine used to be the Smiths How Soon Is Now. Yeah. Yeah, but then when I woke up and I felt like I was looking at an orgy or something. It felt weird or on in the comments tells your wake-up song. Yeah, it would love to hear that. We don't really care. Mine is One Night in Bangkok in. Oh, by the way, that is my favorite song from Shrek the Musical this out. You know, that's where that's from right? Of course who doesn't I mean Jeff I don't I don't know. Well, I'm going to let you introduce the guest today. I'll totally do it do it we're good friends do it and you know how to pronounce your last name? Yes. I can totally pronounce it Jenny you pronounce it off. I'm going to know how to pronounce everybody's and he danced. How do you say your name Janu? Yeah, or nay nay we've had guess before if I know that Danny doesn't know how to pronounce his name. I'm going to let you do it Jimmy. He's so true. I'm like and and I've sent you up to go do you like to do it? No, she doesn't give me any slack. Like there's running a comic friend of her a couple, for Israeli. Didn't know well and tell you they were after you after killing cuz you would know but I just wanted to make sure I had their name exactly, right and I so and you were friends. I thought you do the introduction, but I knew that you know how to pronounce your last name. So I purposely was like, hey Danny, would you like to do it right, you know and let the maddening Gulf you guys go crossed between super casual and super profession wage. Putting this pressure on yourself to say the name, right? But then you really have we're looking casual and in other ways we're way casual and I'm sorry and I are pretty I know you and I are pretty like anomaly like we're amazing people people love us. There's so much we can do. Yeah, you know, I know it's weird names right or wrong or wrong but one of us can't wait another one picks up the exactly yes, we finish each other's sandwiches off hardcore is Free as a bird. Nobody knows no one knows. Well, you may know our next guest well from such shows as dreams. I'll talk about that later. Mister show was where I first became acquainted with her work, but then on 24 and everything else in the world, she's always showing up. In fact, she's been on birth family. I have so fun like a distant dream is please welcome my dear friend Mary Lynn Rajskub. You said at perfect wage? Marilyn rice, please play give us well flaws their sheer. Oh my God, the crowd is going not look. Like I said has a big you want you to sign in Jack Bauer off Jimmy's Lobster. He's he's done. Obviously the question. You're probably sick of a stirring today. But why did you think it was? Okay, I suppose in a KKK uniform. What was that about for your yearbook? And a lot of people are in Pleasant blackface? I am, you know, I was horrified when I saw that and I am so sorry, but also it wasn't me. So yeah, it wasn't, you know, it really wasn't, you know, oh look it's on the news right now. We're watching. He's actually talking about it right now. Yeah, my favorite thing is no no, it wasn't me for governor north of it wasn't me? It was two other doctors like it was a mental obstacle school. So it was two other doctors haven't been a full day and I listened intermittently, but the other thing along those lines is well, do you is it okay for you to just even be consider that it might be it's like the whole thing is just wrong. So here's level it. Well when he goes, okay first he apologizes then he comes back. No it wasn't me and then goes but I did however black face off San Antonio for Michael Jackson and you're like, well, you didn't even have to say that I no no, I would have remembered because I remember wearing black faces might look right, right. Yeah and that shoe polish burn like a motherfuker. I was I mean, it's such an odd cocktail though, because in some ways don't you think he is feeling the pain of it? Like I'm more I'm not even then he can't even accept. It's like he's we're watching somebody else. In the midst of starting his apology for the way he's lived his life, but he can't fully do it. He doesn't have the words or the capacity but he's he knows it's wrong. He's like trying to take it back trying to quantify. Like he's like I have feelings. I'm having a feeling in a thought. He's also this laid-back southern guy. It's like look, okay. I didn't really, you know, I mean Michael Jackson San Antonio, I did not see Paul's on my face, but that other stuff was not me I could actually make my peace with someone we've if ever if everyone of us has shipped dug up on us, we've all done something wrong. I've done so much stupid shit. I have never even thought to go. You know, what a KKK outfit. Yeah. Fukin Crush black face on me nailing. Oh my god. I've done dumb shit. I can't imagine that in any capacity of life going. I think this is a good look for me. I think, you know means really good point. I mean and now this day and age admitting to that and going well I did that right you guys home. Yeah, we World At Large. I mean I I I'm full. I'm a I'm a forgiving person you fuk up and and you don't do it again. Like if somebody does something that's stupid and if he just straight-up was like wage. I don't even have anything to say that is me fully wearing a hood okk and I hope the time I don't know what I was thinking. There's no way I could have like I can't apologize. I hope everything I've done has been better. I'm like that's got nothing but incredible of that and they're always talking there's a kernel of it. But the the head of the n-double-acp, I've only listened to it in my car, but I thought he said almost exactly what you're saying, which is just truly apologize know say something to the effect of you know, say something eloquent about we need you better now, I'm here in this is where it starts and under Robert Burton was like a giant of grand Wizard or something. I never had a party and and dedicated to the Civil Rights and everything else. Was in the KKK and he reformed and there we go do it. That's what I'm talking about if you but we've all done stupid shit and I think no I don't we've all done stupid shit, but that's something that I never win that like, yeah. I've you know, I've never there's never going to be all of a sudden. Hey Jenny, here's your yearbook. Yeah. No, no. No, I'm not sitting there with the news on something like no. I've never not a million years because I was way better than you think it's you and then you're then you're sure it's not you can remember. I remember my Halloween costume for a 1984 though, which I was a soft. When I was in college. There were a couple of kids in a fraternity at Syracuse who were in black face and then and then fraternity got suspended off so it like we knew in Nineteen Eighty-Four. That's a No-No but there's so much that's wrong with it. Yeah, it's medical school. First of all, right, he's twenty-five and okay. Let's say you're fuked up at a party wage. And you're an asshole and you dress that way still disqualify but that picture exists you regret it even had to go and say well I need for pictures for the old yearbook this one that would be good. I mean they could have a yearbook committee that dug up pictures necessarily a point that he had never gotten that yearbook or looked in that year. But because there are yearbook committee that just yeah do shit like that how the year but oh classic yearbook. Oh my gosh classic. They're all such races underneath that picture though. One of my favorite Parts was named no money that where it said his like specialty Pediatrics Patrick's underneath that fucking photo. You're like, well God, just let me get my baby to this be such Mai bheju. Ya, please give it the video and whoever is in that is a fucking doctor like those are two doctors, right? It's amazing. That's not heartwarming. Yeah, that's that doesn't give you the warm fuzzies wage. No, I know. I don't know we could figure the world's problems out. We really could let's do it be in charge of some stuff we even thank Marilyn for being here Maryland. Hey your two biggest star. Yeah even be near birth. You are what's what went wrong? You guys puff up your yeah. So they start what went wrong. What went wrong that Scott Kelly found it a year in space and he's like, so what else have you done besides? Yes fucking yeah, seriously about floating. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'd like to float around I did an isolated from basically. You didn't have to go to work for a year. Yeah. Like that's what Danny told. No, I did was I was very surprised breaking into David Bowie. I did I did I was like, yeah, I did. In fact, I'm an interesting thing in that in that podcast was because I listened to it again like recently cuz my kid wanting to listen to that one and I bring up. How about that guy who sang Major Tom? On this went viral and he was like, yeah and it's like so clearly Scott has beef with that guy. That's how I left it with with the Major Tom guy. Oh, that's what I thought. I may be wrong. Just want to play ground control to Major Scott. Oh, maybe that's what it was good and they guess the identical twin and they gotta deal with you know, there's two of them Maryland. Where are you from originally from took you from from Mary Mary? Where are you from? I'm from Trenton, Michigan South of Detroit, you know, once I did it independent movie with Billy Baldwin and named I okay. Well this name-drop is not worth it. Cuz here comes another name drop. I could not stop in my head singing hold on for one more day to the point where all the way to the point where it started coming out of my mouth under my breath and he I think he heard it and it was so embarrassing and so tacky, but it was it was running through my head cuz we were standing on set and it was just non-stop. Every time you cannot sing that to his I would do it. There's no way to China Phillips. Yeah. Yeah. I think they're the Christians. I don't know it was it was many years ago. But but I would like the same, you know, I was thinking Major Tom to the astronaut made me that I say on the beach with two of your friends and like break free. But yeah, I always want to break free from the kids know. I know who I'm speaking of Breaking Free from Trenton, Michigan. My name's Mary Lynn Rajskub. I went to Art School in Detroit and then I finished up art school in San Francisco where I started doing performance art, but I am in fun of performance art and that's where I met Comedians and then moved to LA with schools the school called Center for Creative Studies in Detroit. And then the second one was the Art Institute in San Francisco. Nice. Oh and then they you you came across some comedians. Who is the comedian that made you go? Like what I can do. Well, one of them was Patton Oswalt, he doesn't remember but I remember seeing him. I was going to all these open mics. Okay, so I was taking a bath It's art class in the Art Institute and I really did not that school was not a good experience. It was kind of amazing in one way cuz I was in San Francisco but being at the school was not because everybody was really full themselves and wait, wait, wait, wait, wait in performance art. Well all the all the foundation classes went out the window. Cuz once you went to San Francisco art institute thought they were one of the first like their pedigree is all these performance artists. So I I mean my take on it knowing nothing really was that once the once the lid kind of got blown open with art that that drawing sort of became like a lame class. Yeah. So the school was Progressive in that way home artistically, but then it becomes highly conceptual to the point where I'm just looking around going. You know, I'm from the suburbs of Detroit. I don't know what anyone's doing part of me kind of loves it. Yeah, and then part of me is like I don't game. You people at all. I don't fit in here, but I loved performing so I started and I love San Francisco. So I started going to all the open mic nights, but they were open mic poetry nights. It was it's lamp post office Slam Poet shut the fuk up and I I used to do slam poetry but I didn't realize I was doing comedy until years later and I'd always get like the I always got like the worst scores and I would just like do like fragments of words and I really was like damaged socially and I I only am now at almost fifty years old figuring out what the hell like. Oh, that's a subject. You should talk about like I didn't know how to speak English. So well reading from their journals and Patton Oswalt just to that. Yeah, that's a whole other story. But Patton Oswalt was somebody that like to comedy clubs were closing so they were doing these open mics off and when I saw him I was like, oh like that's somebody that knows he's their voice and I just didn't know what that was until I saw in the home. All these other people that are not great performers then to watch somebody who's like totally polished on their off night just you know, fooling around how he wasn't doing open mics then was he well, he was doing these. Yeah these open-mike poetry rooms because they were in San Francisco and it was that time and it was a place to get stage time and he was just like dropping in. Yeah, how many how many years were you there or like how like how long of a period of time there in like from ninety-four to ninety-six? Okay. So this is like a two year. If you like and like but it's it is but it's like poignant like it totally huge. So when you saw a patent doing this did you all of a sudden like look at the other people performing go? You don't know what the fuck they're doing. This is Faith. Yeah. Yeah. Did you all like in your mental Eagle? Like I think I can do this better. I definitely was interested in going in that direction, but I still dead. And once I came to La I it's weird because I was so damaged that I was I put everybody up on a pedestal but I definitely was way more attracted to that and was like, these are young people then I was with fine artists. Who were you damaged in a way because of like watching the other people in you finding like that you feel insecure damaged or that was just very socially disconnect. I personally was like disconnected from my own point of view. Yeah and my own Personality. Yeah, and so I was just incredibly attractive to other people and so seeing someone like Patton was very attractive, you know, anyone who was you know, cuz those other it would be like Not too but this was a real person a transvestite who was reading from her journal, which I was sort of endlessly fascinated with but then when you see somebody who's like, oh, I'm just doing it home in my voice. Yeah, then I was like that's attractive to me and I gravitated towards that know I could feel it. I love that whole scene and all the different types of people and I loved the solo performer standing onstage. Yeah, and every time I did a performance art piece people would just line up their chairs because of the essentially was like a monologue, you know what I mean other people would be like sculptural like taping my genitals to the side. I am jumping in which I always go to the scene in The Big Lebowski where they're going to the landlord or To Do Is Dance with like and he's doing God. I kind of a heavy-set guy in a lien thong. Yeah, you know, it's like a big like a one's a onesie with like leaves. Yeah, and it's like a nude my two my two references are that and Karen Finley putting a yam in her and pulling the scroll on bulb. I guess to complete that thought I was really into performance art because I was so fragmented in my ability. I just wanted to express myself and I know how so if I were to have looked a comedians that early on or like growing up. Yeah, I couldn't relate because I was like, oh a guy in a suit. Yeah talking complete sentences. That was so far from where I was or that I needed to life. I needed the Gateway of abstract performance to get into it. Yeah to just get your stage legs. Yeah. Yeah, very attracted to like seeing patent and like blank a package. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I kind of him. I mean he's so verbally quick and amazing show. I didn't think I could do that, but I loved it and I loved being around those guys. How did I use? So what was like your what were the big what was Mister show like a big break for you or were there a huge? Was that huge? And how did you become associated with that? Were you part of the show? Did you join those guys? Were you part of that little Mister show thing that they were doing before the show got on? Yeah, I did live show a couple of the live shows. Well, they they did live shows to get that together. Yeah. Yeah, where would you look at the HBO? Yeah, and there was no Santa Monica that Bob Odenkirk used to do is one man show, right? Right, right. I remember that HBO space on Thursday as I saw something on that. I'm back in the day. I saw yeah, I was like, wow, this is really funny and and like never thought of it again and then suddenly was on T. So I actually did a thing that was related to performance art. I remember they put me in interstitial E. I took out a roll of duct tape and taped my my boobies in my vagina and I was like, these are not for you but it was it was just the way the gesture you just did. It was like I took a roll of duct tape and did you say that she mimicked as if it was coming from your phone or like I took a roll of duct? Yeah, actually actually Regina excellent for trying to spacewalk You're very welcome. One of you guys are really great. I don't want things to go unnoticed when it's impressive. Was that a super fun? It really is. I don't have that kind of like I said, I want to wait until your computer stand up. It's not know. You're not physically not pulling miming pulling something out. You might find it liberating. I mean, that's where you keep everything. Anyway, I do. Yeah. It's like a Foot Locker in there. Yeah, absolutely. So so from I have a question now so from so so 94-96 San Francisco then after 96. Were you still in San Francisco and La? Okay, actually with Blaine was one of the people that was like and there was this woman named Laura Milligan and Greg behrendt. Oh, yes an idiot now Karen kilgariff. They he's funny. Yeah, they were like, we're doing live shows in L home. Done with college. I think I don't know. I never got the the degree, but I was just like yeah, I'll go to college. I think like I got into someone's car and drove to Chicago and and then was like, yeah, I want to do live shows in LA and then that was that so was that live shows was that you doing like kind of like improv work or just stand up or both? It was my birth of stand-up which really was like performance art. Okay a character. Yeah, but it really was just me trying to figure out how to do stand-up but do you feel like when you're doing stand-up cuz I think this sometimes when you're onstage are a character innocent, you know, like you are you're not you know, I'm not as I'm not mean but I guess we're meaner on stage. Yeah. I mean, it's like I don't get off, you know, it's like like I'm not that way but it's a character it's like but I think that way with when you were were talking about like, okay your Twitter. Yeah. Yeah, like you just I can have a tweet that I write and I can use them. Didn't get on stage and kind of take that joke, even when you're writing your Twitter, for example, you do you feel like you're heightening and being in a oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what do you what's your process for getting in that headspace? I don't really have one. I just like it's more it's more of like, you know, if you if you're sitting in a restaurant or something and and your head you go, you know, it'd be really funny. If somebody that waiter went up to that table and just said that shit like if you ever just like have that so it's a brain. So in your head it's like a running thing even though you're not necessarily acting in that voice on your in your daily wage, like writing or saying the things that I maybe think would be funny if it were to happen in real life. Like I would never say something I see you know off the light in real life. Yeah, it's nice talking to people cuz people strangely cutting they want to high-five me. I'm like, well, I'm not really like, okay. Thanks. Yeah, I appreciate that. But no, but it's wrong but go on. Well, I mean, you know, I mean, I like how I feel. Jewish people, you know like that and by the way, but how far do we go for I said you you know, it was a long one. Yeah, it was pretty good. I know spend time like I talked a bit I should have some stuffing. Yeah. Well, I thought you should know you get the credit but like the credit so do you but do you feel when you're up on stage? Cuz I mean I've done I've done shows with you and everything when you're on stage or life that you're yourself you feel that you're an exaggerated version. Do you feel you're playing a character or do you feel it's just you doing stand-up and do you separate it or do you think it's a I drink that wine real fast, and you know, I don't need I didn't have any but I I think I look I have problems and I'm I swear to God, I'm only now I'm under getting a glimpse of what my actual voice as a person is and for stand up and I think that, you know will always be a high top table. Conversion of you but in the like back in the nineties, I really there was this I was dying inside and I needed to express myself and I didn't know what that was. So it was a Subaru all seen so I would always go out and not know exactly what I was going to say and stuff would come out of my mouth. Right that was fueled by some this angst that's inside of me. You know what I mean? So it's been like sifting through that like, I would say like five years ago. I used to practice because I would be so down and so Interior right that I would practice opening like hey guys, what's up? Yeah practice doing that. Yeah for a while until I knew what that energy was. Like. Do you know what I mean? Yeah R Donnelley, my career is also acting so I knew sometimes I would say stuff that I thought was hilarious but the audience just go with me too much. Yeah. Have you had those before sure where they go? Oh, oh that's and then I have to develop like, oh, I'm actually the narrator of the thing. That's the Joker ripped my chest birth. If that's the worst reaction never yeah, oh you're like, oh here there's a lot of different things that play that also is like they're not what a boner killer. Yeah. It's like which by the way is to bring up one of the not coolest audience members ever during one of our shows that we didn't really but when did you feel like you were saying like when you were doing your in San Francisco and you didn't feel like you belong like you bout? Yeah. Do you feel like you belong now? I definitely when I first moved to LA that was the first time when I met Comedians and you felt like you were part I found your tribe for sure off tribe, but I was still terrified to speak to them and be around them but you feel that acceptance with them because comedians are very like it's like if you're the one that gets up on stage and you're doing it to them probably for the first time in my life. Yeah, that was something that I always felt too cuz I always like to show, you know, like they brought me in like kind of a mascot right and and during that month. Bit of time. I mean you guys were you were the cool comedy kids? I mean you really were that was like the that was like the cool table to be I remember like I worked with he was helping he guested on a bunch of shows and I liked him John Ennis who was on that show. Yeah. Yeah, and I was just like I was just like I was really geeking out cuz I really did feel like a guy can I save a table for a little bit just like hanging out. But yeah, it was cuz that show was just like there was so pivotal. It was so pivotal. I mean it was like you guys are doing that that and there was Kids in the Hall. What were you doing at that time? Mister show I was you know, I was writing I was already said, I think I was reading on just shoot me at that point. So I was like doing just shoot me and cuz I remember going to see if it was just Junior was it was Grace Under Fire, but I was I went to see with a bunch of writer friends another another one of my writers friends said, oh they're doing the show at the HBO space. It's really really good and I didn't know any wage. I didn't know Bob. I didn't know David. I didn't know I really don't know any of you guys and it was like, holy shit, cuz my Touchstone like the comedy group that I when I first moved out here that was on that I thought was Fantastic Four Kids in the Hall watching them and I was like, oh, yeah, that's some nice slow and then you sort of took it to this other just this other level it was so it was it had sort of absurdity of Monty Python but meaner and and I just I really I really loved it. So yeah, that's not know each other then I don't know. I mean again it was like sort of like they were it was it was a different world because he was supposed to be over a hundred yards of women of different things. Well, I was like, wow, you know to be able to be like you were much further along in your peer group at that point that I was in mind I was still but but yeah, it's pretty cool. It was it was cool. It was cool to watch that. Did yep? Always continued doing stand up throughout all of that cuz I mean I imagine like when you're doing mister show like twenty-four like you're pretty fucking busy, but did you continue doing I never fully quit, but the way I'm doing stand-up now is almost like a completely different approach than it was then. It's almost like a world like I never I got to the point a few years ago where I was like, all right, you're either going to quit completely or you're actually going to start doing stand-up. Yeah, how how much are you doing it like per week like how many per night like how many nights 224? Okay. Do you do the same clubs? You do the same thing. I do. You know what I do. I do the I do the Improv the laptop and The Comedy Store these Flappers bar show here there and you know, we did a show together at The Improv. It was Rebecca Corey's. Oh and it was you and me and I think it was tempted was Tim back. Yes and off. Homeless woman just oh my God. I wondered and like just wandered in randomly at The Improv at The Improv and set front row and as many thoughts on stage precedes to just fall asleep really in the front but no but people didn't like she it was like in between know what was happening when he was like a normal person all she did but it was like in between Comics. She just kind of walked up to the front and got right at the bistro table in the front room. It was like two people kind of sat there and I think right at the beginning were like, oh, wow, this was in the other room or some shit. Yeah, and then all of a sudden it's just always the fun vibe in the lab. We couldn't get into the main room. And so they ushered Us in here. She was a suck it like that but also took honestly for this chick just went with a big Parker on and she just had gotten the front row fold her arms and just totally totally fell asleep and you were like do it and then all of a sudden went now, I'm sorry am I bought off? And she just she was completely Cuckoo Pants and started telling you that she was a singer and you just kept going. Okay. All right and hold myself and Tim and I are in the back lord. We were fighting but the thing was no one else the whole no one could see what was taking place because everyone else was sitting behind so the hook we were just on the ground laughing and this woman in the front just had dumped over we're going up really good. I'd I'd have singing didn't show you go to the microphone she sang for you. Yeah. I'm so sorry. I missed the show thought it was hilarious. Yeah, it was really funny. She goes from sleeping to like boasting about herself. It was like, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize we had a yeah our in our midst. Oh and you just kept going with him. You were know the microphone know it was she handed you a head shop. I was one of those head shots with different characters on it tennis tennis anyone. Yeah exactly. I'm the professor everything a picture off. Hey hanging out. Okay, good. Okay. We're just like a picture. Thanks guy, but it was real candid. Nobody will super super headed. You can see them later on the website. You see later on the web page. So are you are you are you still are you auditioning for things? Are you are you do you think I'm going to quit acting know I mean for me I can't audition anymore. It's an act. This is Faith know. I'm going to be serious. Here's what happened. Here's this here's the corner. I turn this is a couple of days ago. Let's go. Oh, this is fresh. This is French. This is real nice talking to you right before and I felt like you had something to say. I took last pilot season I auditioned so long and so hard and I'm like, Mommy just wants a job. Yeah, and I know I did good work. Yeah, of course. I know and I because also took the past now I'm going back over going. I was so lucky that I was giving some weird thing and I hit this know where I just got work after work after work and now I almost dead. Expect the process more in a weird way prep more more working. I'm really good. And I know I'm really good and people are like they do you did earlier in in jest. We're like God. Thank you for coming in and I'm like, okay great. So you got me as an option on tape and I'm number five or six after you get people that you want but something happened to me a couple of days ago with my agent's assistant was like can we confirm it for this thing tomorrow? And I realized I was like, oh I didn't read it. Now. It's it's not it's not unusual for me to be a total Crabapple. Usually I have to walk through eight layers of like a stock you would it be like an artist and I just play you know, so I know I have to work through my own stuff to get to that point to get into the room. I know that about myself I've known that I have a bad attitude and I have to get to the place where I just go in there like, you know, it's great. I love I the other day he goes. Are you confirming tomorrow? And I go no like no like I have a life. I'm I can't make it tomorrow and he goes would you like me to get another you know email another time and I'm like, oh, yeah, cuz it's my same thing. You didn't get to reading the script yet. Yeah, and I'm also the new me is like no, I'm not going to just do the sides and Russian. I'm actually going to read the script and took care about it, right? Yeah. So am I I'm not making it in tomorrow. I'm going to take the time to read the script and I go home and I get four pages in and I'm like something deep inside me was like, I I know I could do this. It's the part of the friend of the main lady who's like girl you madam. I don't even know what it was but we're does a sex outfit if I ever saw one off by the way, you're hired. I yes, I so my is crying right now. He believed I know so no worry, so I know my version of that part. Yes, I know what time Would give them and their room and I'm like again, this is not an unusual thing. I know you're not going to hire me. Usually I go in anyway, cuz I'm like, I want to throw my hat in the ring. I want a job, but this time I got to page 4 and something deep inside me was like no. Yeah, you don't care about this you're going on tape as an option for them and I wrote them back and I said offer only song. Yeah. No, I don't want to be just another option for them. There's nothing that I'm going to do. That's going to be so special. Yeah, like you've seen it. You know what I look like, you know what I sound like, I have a body of work if you would like me for this part. Yes, and then beyond that a deeper part of me was like, I don't have the time and energy to get dressed and drive across town and give you the option and that's the first time that I haven't been able to like drag myself from that spot and go stop acting like that. Just put the work in and go do it was the first time where I was like, no, I don't want to wage. This is a waste of my time. Right? I don't want to if someone wants me for something. I don't even I don't know. I mean, we'll see if it's something like amazing that they're like, wow, you know, there's always like it's a special situation like come in and tests or like, you know comment on this appointment and we'll put you in a separate room and you can like even that I'm like dead. No, I don't I don't want to go through that process. I don't think people understand like cuz you'll you'll hear this. Even when I was a kid when I'd watched them on actors on Johnny Carson off talking about this kind of stuff and they'd be like complaining. Oh, you're you're right. You're flavors. You you there's there's this notion about acting and make sure that it's so precious that it's so precious and it's great and all that but I don't think people realize how soul-sucking it is and my so I've sat on the other side of that table that song You like I did it briefly and that's just as hard through it with them. I am and I find it. I find it really hard and I've I've spent all of my time on that table seen thousands of people and watching and it's so not personal right and I know that no, but it's not personal at all. And there are people who are so good. Who who then somebody took you just having to be taller than a man or you're like, you look too much like this person. We already cash or all that and and what's crazy is how they never know. Like I have gotten in trouble in the past with actors. I I only took a peripheral way where I after they don't get the part call them and tell them and tell them because I it's like they like cuz I feel bad cuz my my reaction to an actor who's really doing well, I'm always polite but if you're really doing well, especially in a common room like I'm laughing. I'm like fucking hey, that was great. And and so I don't want then leave em, Making slow heart. I've had a couple you reminding me I've had a couple of use in in the past. I would say six to eight months a couple of little angels that have kept me going where it's like, a really good and it's like you do need to hear that you do and I was like, okay, I'll keep going but now it's like I don't even know I'm not saying I'm not going to go on if it's something like really amazing that I can't refuse but by and large I can't like I'm going to turn down much more and there's not even that much stuff cuz I am sort of a known. Yeah. I'm I'm sort of like, oh, she's a great interesting option cuz unless you know, you want me for something which yeah, so yeah, it's sort of taking the audition out of the equation for me. It's a sign do you feel like you have to like almost wage was like if I can't get it up for this role. I'm not going to bother like it has to be something that you feel that might be a bottom line is like I like I like the parts not even I don't know off. You know where you're like, I can't even every time I've been in a the most the ones that really break my heart the most is like so if when you get to the about the seven year old age range of actors because often they're IMDb page and I mean, you've got a couple of years but the yeah the this is the party starts kissing up to our know but the IMT pages are like four pages long 800 you were the star of you were the second lead in Mannix where you were like, you know, like 30 Rockford Files or this or that and it's like matter and they're coming in to read school teacher with three lines and they're driving across town and they're all dressed and I recognize them and it's like I just want to like I want to say you're too good for this. But of course they know that but they they have work and it's weird business man. It's hard. It's hard. I mean like as a writer I don't but I could let myself go home. Now obviously I say, you know pretty tight. I mean we can tell ya but look great. Yeah. Well that's interesting. But are you have you like I'm done with acting before I guess I don't want to be that no, I don't know you don't going out or not. Just you know, I know you don't but you also I mean, I just think that the most important thing is to be the person you want to have passion for what you do and not lose a passion for what you do like. I can take you know when I'm writing something or you know, like okay, so you're pitching something, you know pitching something ever. Okay, great. Well the people in the room sure you're okay. I know where the jokes are supposed to be as I'm making my pitch and and you realizing sometimes you're you're pitching the people that have no sense of humor. They don't know what's funnier. They're they're not you know it like oh I see why you think it's funny but I don't really so how does that work for you? You do it I do it because I still love riding. I still love creating and and but I said line of the soul-sucking for that well Find the right person you pitch to you know, however many different places and and you hope to find the right like the right partnership like okay, you know you get with right producer and then you go and you pitch and and if you find the right home for your place now Granite could sell a pilot. They pass your right another one like they pay for it. Yeah, I think that's not the end of the world. But if it wasn't if it stopped being fun and interesting to write and create something but you know, like when it will like I haven't I haven't lost that but like when I was a t news producer like I did I was a TV for twelve years. Yeah, and at some point all of a sudden I was like I can't do this anymore. I'm pressing like I just can't like I knew that my time had like I felt it like with the thing is that ended I need to the thing is like even if you're on sea most things that get made our shity 97% of stuff that you see on TV or in the movies a shity. It's or it's just mediocre but if you're hired on those things, yeah, you are expecting. As a professional to you have to deliver like you're delivering Shakespeare in the park. And and and if you if you so you can't have assets so that is part of and so like cuz I got knows you could look at my I mean d page and there's a lot of shity stuff on that and I remember early on was co-writing a show and we had a writer brilliant guy. He was from Harvard home and so shocked the show is so bad and it wasn't working. It was terrible and every day would come in and it's like right this and he was like, he was smart and funny and he was like, yeah, but it's said he talked about his life and finally like I had to fire him cuz I warned him and I said, you're a great writer you're brilliant because he was showing up every day, but he wasn't doing the work cuz he had seriously. It's like it's like here's the thing that's bothering me. Is that despite me cheerleading because I'm running the show. I promise you. I know it's a shity as you think it is I do wage. What so now our challenge is to make it just like 1% less like our our window of Victory is to make it 2% less shity. And I can't do that with you reminding me how long it is all the time. But you're also getting your not a person that lives life in a shity manner. Like you're you are one. That's like, all right, you know you take here's the job and and here's my ways I can like you can get down there. I don't you don't you don't put that off right? You're right now he doesn't your you try to break through. But when somebody's I do bring in the party I do but I will say like I've also until Modern Family I never had a job for less than two years. But like if I had to work like if I was like if I was one of the people who was on According to Jim from the very beginning and it was like I had twelve years as a I mean way that I couldn't do cuz you know, what what you're saying kind of is putting a positive spin on me going. I'm quitting because that's why I'm saying it. Yeah, cuz I don't know. I forget what I'm saying is I'm quitting. What I've I've been trying to be like I just want a job really what I'm saying is I don't really want a job. I want like the right thing in the right thing with the job if it happens it happens, but I'm also done with the feeling of like hardened. Another big thing is coming. It's like, you know what it might not be ever and there's no guarantee of that. And did I want to do more birth? Yeah, but in my it's almost like coming to terms with being okay if there's not more oh and also not putting my hat in the ring for things that not looking at it like but but it's the lottery and if I get a pilot, it's almost like it's really healthy. But do you feel like might be a healthy boundaries that I'm instead of just quitting your Mac. Could you imagine? Well, you're tracking a suddenly healthy. It's amazing weird. Do you feel in a sense that it's like like people have I've sold pilot like I pitched and so Pilots that have obviously done really well. You've never heard of shoes off. Right like they value but I've never gotten married to anything that I've pitched like I I ride. I don't I don't owe I distance my I take my heart out like wage because I can't because I know the odds of it and all that are slim-to-none, you know, I can't help it the one I had like I followed I don't know how like, I know I have to tell myself. I love it. I write off and it takes time and work out what you're doing and I have to understand in my brain the reality of this town. I I can't let myself get oh my God. What if like if I do I'll just be heartbreak on I have to like I have to have hope and I don't go in there with a flippant attitude like, you know, not me. I'm I get to the if I finish the First Act of a pilot, I often have to stop to write Miami Beach. I like and it's like oh wow. This is the first Nobel Prize for sitcoms. I mean like I don't know except my shampoo bottle. Is it a war? I mean I'm saying, I'm right. Yeah, I'm I am utterly delusional and it's exhausting but I can't like I'm I'm probably like more emotional than you are like, I'm a my ups and downs are yeah. Well I'm off but it's like I've mentally have to like you're tougher than I am. Well, I'm not really no but you but I but I like can I try to make myself go? Okay Jenny if this doesn't go it's like a training like she's off until my practice the yeah, and I don't know if if maybe maybe because I was a TV news producer and this was me writing just news and like terrible things like there there. There is a part of me that did that for so long on that. I think how does that work? You say a little bit more but when you started super invested, well, I think I learned I trained myself to to leave it at home like okay, I would rub This horrible shit that normally, you know to take that home with you like, oh wow. So this, you know father backed over his three-year-old daughter and that's the lead, you know, and I have to that is what helped her off these things and I have but it was like I did this for so long and then honest to God one day I in the middle of the night. I had this horrible nightmare and it was like due to something I had written you got a gym. I was not at a channel tell you that later but I remember having like just like in the middle of the night like I kind of when my alarm clock went to remember like I was married at the time and I ripped my alarm clock out of the wall like and in my sleep, I'm not a wait. I'm not quite grasp like what you wrote there were there was a story that was like this kid had jumped off a roof of a cruise ship. Okay, and and he had done this because he had been two years before a victim of a hate crime and he ended up being in the hospital. He was a sweet as he came home. The station and I had the chance to meet he have he had a umbrella brutally kicked up his rectum. Like they poured bleach on this kid was thirteen years old and all he did was trying to kiss a girl and he was half parrot and and I remember it was that I met home. He came up and he spoke before Congress about hate crimes like he wow and and then his family that go on a Carnival Cruise Ship whatever off and he had have a cost me back the rest of his life and he said I can't do it anymore. His name was Dave Richardson, and he said I can time the kid. I'm the kid that got the and just went up to the top and Kolb self. I and after that I couldn't shake it like Ike because I met him like when I was like producing news, it was on a monitor. Like I wasn't a reporter. I wasn't there in front of your saying just the act of I can recording that or we'll just know when it happened and then the kid came up and I met him like it was because all the stories I had written before I could log. Move myself from it cuz I never saw the people in person, right? This was someone I saw and that's when you had enough and I couldn't do it anymore. It was like it shook me like to my core that I couldn't do anymore. But I I do think it taught me how to detach. Yeah from from the thing. Yeah, that's interesting. I mean, I I wish I I wish I could do that more. I mean, I do think that it's all like they're still telling you guys like before this but like I took like really trying to do stand-up comedy again and I I wound up going with a friend to a comedy class at Flappers. I thought like okay. I'm just going to sort of sit in the back, but then he had us get up and like every day. Okay, give me some stuff from your act like and do stuff like that after the break we'll do that and we'll go over like what give me like like three jokes from your act and so like I said, I was like I and I realized like I don't I don't know what I would say. I still don't know. So I went to the bathroom. I wrote a joke that I thought was like based on what he was telling me what he thought my Persona could be dead. And when I was like me, but what would the exaggerated version of me? And I did it and I was like classier 14 people there. I don't care but I was it was life or death. If I don't like this if this doesn't if I don't get a laugh here, I'm my life's over. Like I still have that like I turn I turn in a script like I just I'm doing a script from Modern Family. I'm sure this week. It's I think the 26th script I've written for the show. It's ridiculous. I Sunday I turn in the script and all the writers get too busy on Monday. I have yet to be able to sleep on a Sunday because I am utterly convinced that this will be the script that everybody discovers that I've just been thinking at the whole time and I need to prove it to my dad. I mean my co-workers. Why do I when you told me this before this is actually what helps me? Yeah, because I want to throw up. No, it takes me a while to hit never goes never goes away. And I mean, I think that might be like I've talked I have a friend is a very successful novelist like one of the top selling novelists home. And and he say my name was like and you know, I remember I was stressing out. I was calling him and he was like, you wouldn't understand this and I was like every book every book I feel this way and I was like, oh that's good to know and I think like I've talked about this with other writers and performers the ones who are from at least from a writing standpoint. I've never had somebody who turned in a script to my boss who say like I was like, hey, how did it go? And if anybody who said gotta be honest, I nailed it. It's pretty fucking good. You're welcome here. Yeah like that attitude. I have never met the people. I know who do that. First of all, I don't even know what that instinct is, but then the fact that they do it. It's never panned out for me. It is a total surprise each and every time That first one you don't hate it if they like it. It's like what and then I was like and I Revel in that for about 30 seconds and I was like fooled them again and it off and it really I go through this all the time. I don't know. I mean, I know I probably is not healthy. Well, no, I think it actually I think it makes more sense. I was just talking to a comedian friend of mine who's also a writer an hour chatting about like like okay if I have a set. All right, I'm going to do a set of flappers just for example. All right, I got to set it Flappers next week Tuesday for March 12th, either. Okay, Let me just tell you somebody goes like all right. So let's just say I'm supposed to be on 9:30 and someone goes hey want to meet group was for dinner at 8. There's no fucking way I could go but there are comedians that have done. That's my goal right now. If as a comedian is to be the person that goes like yeah, I mean out for drinks and then actually just look at my fucking watch and go. Oh, yep. I got to get over to the fucking Comedy Store, you know, yeah, I'm supposed to be there and then walk right in and walk up and and have tell I'm sitting there going over index cards of notes and like panicking myself a get up and I'm like, okay, I did it and then you gotta act like what else? Yeah, and when I get up there but the moment I walk up I actually feel fine. But it's the anticipation of jobs in in the anticipation of not it's it's turning the turning this bucking script and it's it's getting up there in in the failure like the possibility of failing or but I don't know what your feelings superhero when you do it. I understand this completely, but but there's a difference between having to perform as a stand-up but what how does that I mean when you write the script aren't you sort of like I already wrote it. No because what it is is it's not I don't or I almost don't care about the actors, but I am around it's sort of I am around a tribunal of other funny people, especially if I respect the Staffing Okay, cuz I'm backing up when you're writing it you're alone and you're going I think this is funny but I still don't know. I don't know. I hope it's not about the actors but it's about other writers. When you hear it out loud. It's about that. Is that sound right now there that's like that's like going up for the set it is because my review is that Monday morning Applause or my crickets are the reaction I get from my fellow writers. So when I turn this in are they going to be like it's good or they going to be like whole shed. I had I want them to hate themselves because my script is so good. And if I can achieve that that's good not like an extreme pressure of like almost like like your if a guy was going to be like that's my special taping. Yeah, you're doing all that work for the table read and that's your yeah Special. Yeah taping right there if you get the responses, right? Well how long Much pressure the pressure is this if I write you know is going to be Rewritten anyway, right but if I write a good script, we don't have like we don't have to stay late we were glass and and he was lives you can get it done that week that week because we write it anyway, but if I can solve problems and have big laughs and people are like excited to get to this thing. Is there a percentage of like big laughs are big for me. Honestly. If I if a script of mine goes on air with anywhere between forty and 55% May from my first draft. That's a fucking win. That's you're so excited. You're so excited. So that's what that's you just it depends there there there. I've worked on shih T shows which I didn't know where we were like. Oh my God, this is a great. Let's just shoot it. Like they've done that but it wasn't good because Towing was trying to make it better. Do you have a like I am super super like man, I just assumed birth. One I'm so cynical like when somebody tells me they think something's really funny. I'm like, fuck you you just like I'm saying that like I had a producer with him that I had sold a script and I just the projector would compliment sandwich me. Yeah, like I would turn something in like a first draft and then it would be like so funny love this part now in the middle. Yeah, and then try to end on a high note. It's like I know what you're you're handling me. I handle you. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm like, I know what you're doing. You've already talked about me behind my back already know this and so then I get real like sensitive and insecure because I feel like I'm nothing worse for me like my biggest Achilles heel talk being talked about behind my back which yeah, nobody likes it. But that's something that because it's such a sensitive thing for me to send like to turn something. In fact, I've sent you know, you have something even to send you don't know I agree. I've literally sent a niche it and then like in the friendships over. Yeah the friendships over he's going to be like what song Actually thought you are you are you are you you find say that you have are do you go through these dark nights of the Soul with your creative stuff? Yeah. Yeah, you do often. Okay, you were very often like scripts like besides your like stand-up in your do you do much writing? I have done some I'm perpetually struggling with that because I I don't know how to do it. I procrastinate a lot. Yeah. Well that just puts you in the club of writers. Yeah, and I am constantly berating myself for not having written more or produced more. Well, you have the honestly with me to welcome. Yeah, it never ends. Yeah. It's a never-ending thing how I don't know. Is there any I know you look at you honey? I don't use you as a matter of five. Yeah, you understand. No, but but that but it never goes away, but here's the thing down. Because I know I must be able to be like I know I can do it. I simultaneously so I crashed and burned on cocaine and I used to go to Cocaine Anonymous and I haven't done cocaine, you know twenty years but I remember somebody in my Cocaine Anonymous meeting who said she described herself. She said I'm a piece of shit that the world revolves around them. And and I was like, holy shit that to me. And so honestly I go through this almost every every week. It was just some Rando it's cocaine's Anonymous. Oh, yeah, but Anonymous I get off able to get it done. I've done I do but I struggle with it and I will expect like I will spend the first two days. I have a week to write a script I will have the spend the first two days off writing a page maybe and just sort of sitting there. It's like, oh, yeah. No, we'll get to this we can do this and then but it's not like I'm even enjoying my time not writing. I'm I'm all you lazy piece of shit. How can you not do and then fear just the deadline hits? And I you know, I I don't want to let people I am a people-pleaser but I also have this thing though where like you're asking like do I know I it's good. I you know, I can do it. Well, I'll turn in a script and I'll think everybody's going to hate me. I think this isn't great. It's not great. And then people tell me it's great and it's like, oh thanks. Thanks and then we'll get into the rewrite will say can we change this joke and I'll be like no know what the fuck this is perfect. Like it's like I can sign most famously do that. Well, it's like but it's hard for you to like when you're because you and I are both people Pleasers. We've yeah. Yeah people pleasing ways and it's so hard like do you find for you? Are you a people pleaser or you just harder on yourself? Do you care about I am both and I'm also like a Perpetual reacting to others and doing a bunch of tasks so that I don't face what I actually want to do. I get that you're when you're doing your stand-up. Do you find like when you with what you're saying is when it gets down to it the first page like sometimes I'll find when I have a set like when I thought okay. I know this is coming up and I've got these jokes and I'm like I kind of procrastinate cuz I'm like, I'm not there with like I have some new stuff but then all of a sudden about three hours before God, that's when I actually yeah, it's something starts clicking and I can like I almost work better when I'm afraid know. That's what does that do have that? Yes. Yes. I am always with everything or yeah always with everything. I also like I told the story on stage the other night and then I and then I got off stage and I was like, yeah. Yep. Should have wrote more before you did it on stage, which is a good thing. I'm getting to the point now and this connects to before when I was just out of my mind and saying things not knowing what it was and I was always on the tightrope of like if it worked I'm amazing if it didn't work. It's still just like well she doesn't know what's coming out of her mouth. So it's okay. And now I'm to the point where I have an idea a year and I won't and I envy people who will write it out and know what the conclusion is because I will go on stage and I will try it and then I'll go off stage and I'll go dead. It was okay, but had you thought it through a little bit more. It could have been that much incrementally close. Let me ask you this question to be it's a question about processing which is just for my own edification cuz I'm torn is I'm thinking bout you. Yeah, it's all about me. I'm narcissistic but as I'm thinking about this, can you consider that time writing time? I'm talking about on stage. So when you're working out and maybe you weren't fully prepared for it. But are you applying Lessons Learned From that to the next set and are you ask but no I'm starting to do that kahless and would just happen. I record every set I rarely talk to them when I told myself yesterday yesterday. This is all fresh. So I go this is the new me. I'm not going to be emotionally attached and I'm going to and I searched cuz I did Rooster Teeth feathers V shows. No remember that little run that you did where it's your app. And I was saying off the top of my head cuz it really happened exaggerated, of course on stage, but I'm at the basketball game and my my kid is 10 a.m. And see it's already convoluted. I'm already mad at myself for not being more concise. And the other mom was giving this really eloquent speech and she was calling out all the kids after the game and she took like you were like Dennis Rodman and you were this and you were that and so the joke is that I go she's so inspiring I want to do that. But when I my mouth I'm like you guys were pretty hot out there Life coming into your manhood and I just like I get so inspired by her, but then what comes out of my mouth so I must report I write them girls things when you're like Dennis Rodman not reading or yeah. I wish I was I mean by that so this story I actually forced myself to go back and listen to it. And to the point of what you're saying the mechanism of forcing it on stage. I actually got the colonel of goodness. That's what I'm wonderful thing was convoluted the into it the out of it was just popped up. I was like bitch if you just would have been a little bit clearer, but there was a little bit of magic in there which I heard and and that being on stage took it out of my mouth know. I wish that I would have pre-planned. It's like why couldn't you just written that I know but maybe that's when you earlier when you're writing when you're even like with Twitter do you get into office space of that exaggerated in order to execute it when when I'm writing something on Twitter? It's like I will sit there and I have the joke and sometimes it's like the wording of it, you know, okay. I may need to go like get some better if I say those of us are they, you know, like but I have the joke when I'm on stage. I don't verbatim tell right might just learn so I I have a dog But I know where I want to go. I practice I record all my shit. I can barely ever listened to but what always happens is there's one thing I say Adam my ass. That'll get a huge fucking laugh and I may have to go back and listen because I can't remember. Yeah the shit that I said. Yeah, it was funny. And so then I go back and I have to listen to it and I'm like and I cringe the whole time I hear myself sometimes I watch too fast. I I saw the red light and I just I just started spewing through something right everything that I have. I'll have like this. I have the joke. I have the joke, but then I know there's more to it but it's better if I keep talking. I guess I could talk myself, you know, I have the joke and I'm saying it and then all of a sudden I'm like all right off, like for example, they're just recently I had I have a thing that I keep talking about like watching an old show an old movie. Yeah in an old song lyric and we'll ride around our cars and then you realize like home. That shouldn't have happened that song. Lyric is really inappropriate like salt and pepper. What a man. There's one that's like he spends quality time with his kids when he can and like that's not chill at all. Like if there was a slight, you know, so then I started like adding. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so song lyrics okay, so shows whatever and I had this thought about like that's just that's just happened and it's not that funny and I don't really have like the joke joke, but in television shows like in the eighties and nineties when a kid would get punched in the face like a you know, the sun gets the fucking fist and he's yeah, he's home and the bully him. It could be on the Roseanne. It could be a family that strapped for cash, but they opened the refrigerator and they pull it a porterhouse steak. It's on a plate and they put it on the kids, even though Roseanne am eating fucking generic cornflakes every fucking day. Yes porterhouse will go on the kids I and they have a talking to and I thought that's there's nothing funny about the sure. Yep. Early have like the joke, but I did was just something I noticed I guess my I guess it's so then like when I when I would just do something like I'm like, I don't really have a joke there but I would work this out but that's right. But but is without a doubt the Finish. Yes, that's isn't that writing? I mean, honestly, I feel like I should have had that I know but maybe but maybe me I am trying to figure this out myself just like is that maybe that's right. I mean, it's like maybe that time you're spending on that stage in this show is the writing show. Then you're you're taking that into the next one. I don't know. I can't I'm I'm not sure but now I'm kind of curious about you and your stand-up class, but also you writing your script alone because you're still putting that same Stakes to it. Yeah going through that you're creating the yeah part of the joke or the story off but you like again and it's the big difference is so like again for the same because I had to go in the bathroom. I didn't think of like a joke you say, you know, he said you're you have a little bit of a you know, you're you you project confidence, but you all suck. A lot of poor me and you which I thought was a really good way to put it so like I was like, oh, I don't know and so like I just like in the in the in the I just like typed it into my phone and I just came this is the this is the joke that came up with rope. I didn't okay, it still needs work, but it's like I had a horrible thing happened on the way over here. I am I dropped a bunch of change and I picked it up and I saw my reflection in a store window and now I'm anti-semitic and so long and and like and and it went it did well it was like, okay good so I cuz but I took that advice but like I would never have written that joke in a million years if I didn't feel like I'm embarrassed myself in Fort in front of forty-thousand people if I just go and read something from Twitter, you know what I mean? If I if I do something like that. Well, it's not necessarily from Twitter. It's just like you wrote the joke. Yeah, you know like so Twitter you Patton Oswalt by the way to give him credit. He was the first person that really helped me. Really? Yeah. He was everything he was the first person who like retweeted me and told people to follow me and like he he gave The interviews in magazines. Who do you follow it? Oh my God, he I I credit him for so much for helping me. And and and you know, I remember like the first time going holyshit birth wasn't you know, they're in living in Houston and I'm like, these people are wanting me to write for all this stuff and he's like, woah, woah Jenny, you've got the jokes just pump the brakes like just let things happen often supposed to have no Force, you know, like don't take this job writing something. You don't like like you have the material and Garfunkel a little bit more. Well, here's you had established the people there aren't you to do here? I was sitting in his of things. You didn't necessarily want. Well. No, it was like I was singing a newsroom in Houston, Texas. She's thinking about making this move. Yeah, and I'm writing this I went from 0 followers. Mm. I'm like cool. I've got 10 No One In The Newsroom know when I worked with knew it was me. I was getting to write whatever the fuck I wanted to write on Twitter and then all of a sudden one day, I was like, oh cool. I got a hundredfold o v hub Dollars, that's cool. Oh, I got a thousand follow. Oh fun and all of a sudden people were like sweet something and everyone in The Newsroom heads would slowly turn. Like is this you cuz Patton had started retweeting me off in like telling people encouraging people to follow me right in the moment. He did I had my whole like after I graduated from college. I would write for different freebie magazine zigzag on Austin around San Antonio Network there around they went nowhere. They just circulated through no one. So the moment all of a sudden people were asking me to write something. I remember you writing the Grantland. Yeah, but but like even even before like something that was just anything that that moment were the first agent when you start to panic like the first agents that are reaching out to me the person managers and I'm like, whoa. Oh my God, like how about that? He's like no. No just do what you're just just take your time. Just keep you'll things will happen. Don't don't just take the first thing don't see I relate that to stand up in the sense that the people that I look up dog. Like no matter how big or how or even sometimes the intro? Oh even for myself. She's been on this this it's like learning to be like, hey, I'm here doing my thing. No matter what? Yeah. I never think I've done shit. Yeah, I get yeah, like I try to make better, you know, I try to just make good choices for myself. I don't like just jump and go off. Hey, this manager wants to manage me. I'm done. Like I actually flew out here like met with a bunch of agents and met with manager. Like I took my time. Yeah, and I did that because of him, you know, like and he he was just like a very generous guy really supportive a really really just so he's he's a really good. He's a good Soul. He's a I can't say enough nice things about Patton Oswalt. He's a good person. But like do you remember what the first thing or the first one of the first few things were he liked of years or retweeted? Yeah. I was something about waking up to the sound of my bass sound like a dog. Wat, I was like, I don't know if I just want to and I remember him like retweeting it and he he's he wrote something. That was like, I don't know if Henry Kissinger I thought I might be behind this account like you put something that was really funny. Like it was just such an intimate thing and he did that and I just like when he was so fucking funny and when he did that all of a sudden I had like notifications where I would get an email for a new follower in this all of a sudden when I'm like why do I have 1,500 emails like? Oh, yeah looking and I'm like, oh my God like Jim Gaffigan's felt like well, I know it's like all of a sudden these people and of course at the time there. I'm sitting in a newsroom and Houston Texas going fucking kidding me. Yeah, like but even thought that was such a rush for me like, you know at the beginning of Twitter like riding a joke and getting the the accolades the the retweets and the fauves are a little round table. Pause and that's something that I think helped Danny. I'm Shirley for yourself and for like doing stand-up. I I definitely got to cut in front of the line. Yeah, like I moved out here and the last Factor they were asking me if I wanted to come and do a set and I'm thinking there's people that have lived out here for twenty years, but have never been at the Laugh Factory. But because I have a yeah a popular Twitter account, you know, that's but it makes me feel like even more of a fraud like, I don't believe I deserve it. Yeah, I don't deserve that stage time that other people have, you know, been a part of you knows that you that you do no. No, I don't I feel that you know, I totally the, fraud I like I since I scripts I always think I'm more fraud God. Yeah. Well like people laugh, but Danny and I are both just we're we're messes. Yeah, but I says, by the way, I do like your shoes daily Oh, thanks. Thank you very much. Thank you suck. Hold on. Hold on a second hun. So you said you really like my shoes? Yeah, Maryland pretty easy. I just like I was like, I was pretty good pretty good. Now. Do you have your parents siblings? Does anything else do what you do know do they respect it and love it and think you're awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah husband that girls. For the kid. Yeah, that's awesome. Do they really like I always think is like, you know, sometimes with family it's like, oh, you know your significant others like over your well-known. It's I mean I talk about my husband a lot in my Act. And she cool with that. He is cool with it, but we get clearance from know. I just do it and he knows I'm really yeah, like he knows that I'm doing it and he like before we had our kids we used to come and see me and now he doesn't really but he knows that I talked about him, but you don't expect him to come see over known only know. Yeah, and I and I have this expectation that he could be okay with if I'm saying shit about him. So see you ever heard something that you've said that oh for sure that he's been like, whoa, what's up dog? For sure the fur like I did a one-woman show me where tell us where I was like, I was working with this director and talking about heightening moments. Right? So I I this is the only one I'm going to show cuz usually was just like run-on stream-of-consciousness. But when I was working with this director, I would go into caricature. So I was me and then I was my now-husband but I remember in the play I yelled at him. You were my revenge fuck and I remember seeing him afterwards and he was like off like just kind of like totally shell-shocked because I took something that was personal personal and also a colonel of the truth. Like I never would have actually completely thought that out loud goes back to what you were saying about like I totally exaggerated that like, it's not not me but I wouldn't have never yeah, we got pregnant by accident and he I said I've said this on stage all it's a classic Chicago too and my ACT where I'm like, my husband was my rebound and you know, I had given up on men and I saw this hot guy and I slept with him and he became the husband my husband and the father of my child and it doesn't always happen in my ACT, but that's that's my Foundation. Yeah, I go to bed if I if I need to and like yeah, and that one show was like, you're my revenge fucking it's like that was too much. It was too much. Yeah, and as well as it should be and it was too much for me in a sense, but she matically it was really know but you haven't like you have to like I you know you ever do that like in a script we're obviously like lately. I I wrote a pilot far know I wrote a pilot like two years ago one that I thought that was it was pretty autobiographical but things were heightened and like one of my daughters who at the time I think was like she was probably like eighteen at the time and I was thinking about like was your favorite one of the other one the other one was but she was very much like it's really good. Is this how you feel about birth? And it was really it was hard. It was hard to live cuz it's like no, I mean I'm I'm drawing on various frustrations that I have. But you know, if you read between the lines it's all yourself. It's the villain in the piece is is me. I'm like, I'm not I'm never punching her. It's like, you know, you said something that yeah, but jokes are awful, you know about that. So it is it's it's it's really I mean I have you know, my my kid reduce I never forget this but my throat I obviously brought this the specific but my kid did some work like silly like it was like embarrassing and I was like, I just got to look in my eye and she was like don't put that on the show, which is something I would just order something. I never had to save my parents, you know, it's an ad in it's a little added stress because some of them yeah, I mean, yeah, one of them was like my other daughter was once so one point I did use this on the show. Wow. And and and she doesn't like when I was like I've been public you want to find. Yeah, but but but have to use yes. No one no one saw it. No behaviors an Emmy. Do you understand? What a my daughter's she found out later that it was there and she asked cuz he heard me like my rent an interview and I decided this is just not mentioned that that's like from your life, but it was not even that embarrassing but it was like she was just like she was eight and and we had a you know, it was open house at the school and I have twins and so we'd have we had to basically decide divided like wage which daughter we'd go to which class and so I said to her hey honey tonight your mom and I are going to need to split up. Do you have any preference and she said to me, you know, I love you, but I think Mom would take better care of me and I was like and it's like I might not be with the wrong. How about a hundred percent right dead if I was taking a bath Yeah, I but you know, but she didn't like that. I attributed those little those little things that are I know was very precious though. Well when I was in here, so, you know, I was married. I'm divorced my step kids which I still consider my step kids. Like they I still fly them out to see me and everything and they're my step-son step daughter, but I wouldn't you're married by the way. What how long were you married? I was married we were together from home like seven or eight years. Okay going all together about ten years total, but I would write like, oh my step-son because it was just so funny for the sake of a joke to like life steps on my step daughter and I would and I would write things that were so unbelievably not true. Oh, yeah, like just she ate the last bowl of Apple Jacks back to over with my car like fuck that like I would just need a, you know, just the most random thing and when they found out that I had all of a sudden they had no idea. Oh, wow, you know Mama Jennie's got this popular Twitter they were so thrilled to be included and they want off. Aware of it and I'm like wait now that you know, I can't look you in the face after I've written this horrific shit about you but they always thought it was funny like they never oh that's too but it was never true. I never wrote things that were true. Like I never put them. I'm like I'm like, you know, and I was always very protective. I saw him. I don't put pictures of them on like people can rip on me all day, but I'm not putting like my loved ones. I took my son but I have fans that are horrible. You're all my fans are like straight up like yeah. Yeah, you've gained weight. Like they'll just fucking suck you right like I have those so I never put pictures of like my loved ones cuz I don't want them to be set up like you can do that to me, but don't do that to you know, I may have messed up because I put family on their own know I my first, you know, when people ask me about you, my first thing is like well, she's a terrible mother. Yeah. No. No, I I have a wife terrible. I I have I have to log But it's you actually have three kids. I do. Yeah. Yeah I have here is what I said. I have t o o. Two Oh, I thought you said I have to like to it was funnier my life and my cuz my iPhone connected to my Bluetooth and my ex and my son was in the car today and he's and it started playing and I was like he goes and I go it's it's dirty you like you can't hear it. Yeah, that's totally before I talk about you. You have at the moment. He hears that he's going to be like shit. Yeah. I got it here that it's dirty. It's inappropriate. I know like that's I mean it's so we do well what how long time we went along really? Well we went really wow. This is it usually we're trying to get people out of here. I know I want felt like I'm like refilling wine. I want you to stay and hang out. Yeah. Well, how bout you feel it Marilyn? It's no secret that you're a delight. I mean, I think everybody really is it's the worst kept secret in Hollywood. You know what I mean? Should be married Linda like I don't even want a job you guys ya know but off Delightful and myself. You're just making yourself more attract. It's like saying no. No, you know what we should do. Let's go to the Beverly Wilshire Peninsula hotel lobby bars. Yeah, and let's see what we can get done Thursday. We can Wrangle. Let's just grab some what we can get done omigod. Just real men alone. But yeah, it's like mr. Hairy Knuckles. Oh, you're plastic surgeon Persian man. Well, I will be your receptionist. Okay, so we're going to start plugging now. Yeah, that's what we do. What should we plug for you? I have stepped plug here. She's looking at her. Oh my God. Look at this point there. We've got some shit that Windsor Locks, Connecticut winter, February 14th Windsor Locks, Connecticut people there. No that's on Valentine's Day this Thursday. Yeah, you can opener. Yeah. Can you find yourself and get paid? Nothing? Yeah. Well, no, I can't get that. That's what date was that. That was February big enough to have an actual birth. Right here either so February 4th on this cuz I booked it first class. Don't tell anybody. Okay, cuz I couldn't bear it. I couldn't bear it. I had a connecting flight and I can't help. Nobody know judge. My basically they you know, just you're bringing you may be breaking even yeah. Okay. Yep. That's it. That's all you're going to promote. Oh, I've got the I've got the thing that the clip that we're going to yeah, but I had to start broadcasting and we're going to play a clip or later you sure I got the what's it called called Marilyn Marilyn. I just talked to myself. I think that's cool. So we just Maryland or Maryland to Marilyn like this color. Yeah, it's called Marilyn, Maryland quick question, cuz I know I know we want to I know it's like Mary parts are taking them like, Maryland Maryland. Is it like Mary Hartman Mary Hartman be kind of thing off. So hold on. How many have you done have been like twenty just to see if I could do it. That's something I try even notice a big guy. Yeah. I know we have a name and we don't even dead. Because my plan to do like little ones and then be with somebody so I do a couple during the week and have like a a big one. Yeah with another person. I do little check-ins. Yeah, it sounds like just talk for ten minutes. And then I I talked for like a half hour. So am I going back to your monologues that you did in but it's well, that's cool. I'm in Charlotte this I'm going to download on my way. I don't know. I'm not sure if you would like it for those of you who might want to listen to Mary Lynn, Mary Lynn. Here's a little sample of it right now. What are you thinking about when you're walking down the street is your head in the clouds? And so I say I can't see I can't see and I start to fall to the ground. I take a deep breath because I start to panic because I can't see and then I think just tell yourself that your thoughts are closed for a moment of relief. Okay, and we're back with enough time to say goodbye know Jenny anything to place. Yeah. Let's see. Why are we on the road together? I don't know. We should that's what we should do. Remember Mary Linda Jenny. You know what? I'm doing what before you plug yourself. I'm going to go on tour with Fred Armisen Mondays. I am not sure you say 20th, February 20th. You said February 20th? Yeah, you're Fred Armisen. Yeah. Do you know the the places are different cities every night? Okay. Give it to us and then we'll put it on our okay. I saw you perform with him. I'd flap I think where you at Flappers with him tonight. That's when yeah, I'm hopping on his first American family and hopping on his tour for ten days. Say Okay Okay, cool. So February 12th, I will be at Flappers. Hello. Okay, I will be on the 22nd. I'm going to know I'm sorry on the 15th. I will be at The Comedy Store. Hell, yeah, and then let's see. There's some shit March. I'm going to be oh, yeah, I think I'll be at the DC Improv Boston. It's going to be a Helium Comedy Club, Philadelphia. No Liberty City, March 13th through 16th. I'll put it on my website Jimmy John's by 5 a.m. He'll you that would be awesome. Oh now we're shooting nails now cuz I feel like yeah this really happen. We could actually I have nothing to plug you can get my book at he started it and log. Amazon.com guy. Oh by the way, you could follow me. Jimmy Johnson i v on Twitter Instagram Danny Danny zuker and Twitter and Instagram. I met the guy BF. Hell. Yeah. Wow, and you're about to fall off. My mom died. We went long so we don't have time to really talk to you Maryland. Would you like to plug your social media though? It's just my whole name Marilyn my scope. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's spelled just as a salvage. Yeah rice and Cub. It's a it's a nightmare of a name. Yeah, but we thank you. Thank you. This is really fun. It was super fun. You guys provide me with wine. And then yeah, that's what we try to other people wage. I really worked for me. Although you brought your own heroin. So that was that's on you. But you know what, it's called still going to drive home. It's called manners and you don't show up empty-handed that right. Yep. I hope you enjoyed it. We did very much. Well, thank you. Thank you. And and by the way, thank you audience and you listen to that first thing in the morning. I have a guest room. You're okay. Good night song. Dewey everyone. Well right by right

San Francisco writer LA Jenny Detroit Mary Lynn Rajskub Danny HBO Patton Oswalt Marilyn rice Tim David Bowie Art Institute Bill Withers Smiths Bangkok Bob Odenkirk Gulf Flappers
Warning: HBO's I'll Be Gone In The Dark Might Mess With Your Headspace

Your Story or Your Life

17:43 min | 7 months ago

Warning: HBO's I'll Be Gone In The Dark Might Mess With Your Headspace

"Hey It's chip Mahoney. If you haven't heard about anchor, it's the easiest way to make podcast. Let me explain first of all. It's free. There's creation tolls that allow you to record and Eddie your podcast. Right from your computer or phone eight. Her will distributor podcast four. You so can be heard on spotify apple podcasts at me more, and you can make my from your podcast with no minimum listenership. It's everything you need to make podcast in one place, download the free anchor up or go to anchor DOT FM to get started. Hey. What's going on this ship Mahoney and you're listening to your story or your life podcast this podcast where I talked about true crime and compelling persons of interest. And, if you found me like my youtube channel, that's a great way to get future episodes when they come out in youtube format. And if you said there, you can also get my other podcasts called drowning verdict where I go into true crime more in depth. That's some good stuff going on over there. So if he sub, you're going to get that. And I totally appreciate you coming back for more share with friends. If you think my contents could enough because I'm always trying to deliver the best I can't for you with each and every new episode, so I appreciate that. You'd also find me on really anywhere that she get your podcast so spotify iheartradio apple podcasts. You can follow me there, and yours can be more part of the show. And if you want to be part of the show and support, the effort helped me get. New Minin just grow and get better with interviews and all the cool stuff I've got on the future got a co five page which you can see on Youtube there and click to that and. Be Part of the show sporting the effort. They're totally appreciate that. You're awesome person for doing that and. If you just give you more exclusive content and just helped me grow what I'm doing and just be more part of it so? Thanks for doing that and being apart of it and being here because I think I've got a good episode for you a timely episode. On a subject that I've talked about before and I think it's really. Pretty interesting stuff. It's about that art life connection that I've often talked about in previous episodes on your story of Your Life. because. I think a lot like Oscar Wilde said that. Life imitates art far more than art imitates life, and I see that a lot with true crime and other stories out there so if you are listening and have checked precepts, you'll hear me talk about that, and then also my method for storytelling, which is the heroes method for storytelling, which is a great way to? Go about. Formatting your story whether you're talking one on one with people or in a group setting giving a talk somewhere, it's going to really help you connect, so you'll hear me talk about that stuff future episodes, but in today I've got that are live connection because i. see that a lot in that that just kinda makes. The you know the hairs on my neck. Go up because it's just so interesting. Today's subject I'm talking about is a documented. There's coming up on June twenty eighth. It's HBO's all begun in the dark, and that's about the book. Yeah, but it's really about the author who wrote that book. Michelle, McNamara and it's really about her obsessive journey to. Really unraveled mistress, who the? Killer as he had multiple different names like the original night, Stalker and And The Vice Alya ransacking just got so many of bitchy coined the name. Golden, state killer in. It's about her. Really her obsessive search. And in that art, life connection I found something. Just in my author mind that just stuck out and I had to Charlotte. So the book came out in two thousand and eighteen. which was a few months before the golden state killer God nabbed by? The COPS people in Mesquite in that case, which took a forty years amazingly. But in two thousand twelve, there was a movie. Starring Ethan Hawke. Playing a true crime writer. The movie is called sinister. And in that movie, He plays a famous true crime writer who wrote a book called Kentucky Blood. That's a fictional book inside of a fictional. Tell there. But his character's name in that movie is Ellison oswalt. A true crime writer, famous true crime writer. Now. Whoever wrote that movie when they're given the character's names? The last name Oswald was taken from Comedian Patton Oswalt. That's where the aspersion came from. That's where the character got the name else oswalt. Well Patton Oswalt the comedian who you probably know. He was married at the time to Michelle McNamara. Who is the subject of the documentary up? She wrote the book, however in two thousand and sixteen. She died in her sleep before the buck before the book was finished she. Did most of that work, but she died before it. Came to publish it, so it needs to be finished. Whether was chapter two. It just needed to be. Finish Shell. Because of that. Patton oswalt. Her husband stepped in to finish that book, so he became a true crime writer. He became a true crime writer and this book I'll be gone in the dark is a famous true crime book right now? And it's going to be on. That pedestal with other great true crime books. Executioners Song. Onion field. I think it's that good. So. Isn't that interesting? that. They really had no connection before the movie. Sinister two thousand twelve. Michelle Mac Maria's. Going in deep on the story about find out who the golden state killer is. She had coined that name. She had brought that to light. and. She was running a blog. She running doing articles for major news organizations and really. Just investigating. She was becoming a sleuth. She uncovered a lot of interesting things. She purchased items that possibly had belonged to. The killer may be victims. I don't know how that worked out, but she was just really really close to the subject and she died I believe in her sleep. It was in two thousand sixteen and. That's what this story. When be talking about this documentary starting on June twenty eighth. And I think it's going to mess with your head space so in this day and age where we are concerned with so many things out there that the news is bringing to us all the the bad news constant. Constant bad news. That Getting into this story. You. GotTa Watch out. You GotTa Watch out and I'll talk about that because I'll be gone in the dark as a guy who has read a lot of true crime who has taken classes on true crime and who's met with True Crime Authors Anna's author myself writing a couple of novels out there that have true crime elements. Got To tell you I could only read one chapter of all. Be Gone in the dark. You might read the book you could. You could tell me about it. But I had to stop because it is so personal, it's as if she is a victim and is. It's as if. She had experienced something that happened to her. and. Maybe that. had related to the way that she was her sleep patterns and her may be. Anxiety may be stress overtaking her in. Taking prescriptions and stuff like that I don't know a whole lot about that because it's just not something that. I've got into, but. I can see where. That it just goes to deep. It goes too far. And if you're somebody who is in a true crime, you're obviously listened to this podcast, but if you're going to be watching. The. Documentary. I'm going to be down. Word spiral. It's GonNa. Be Really really scary thing. So, I don't know if I can watch it. I'm very curious about it, but I think it's just GonNa mess with the positiveness that. You need to have at this time. The mental health and What, we're all experienced as far as all the stuff in the world, obviously the coronavirus, the wearing of mass all this unusual stuff that we've had to adopt the last. Two and a half three months that we never had to think about before, but we are here right now. And who would have thunk it that we all have to wear masks and walk around thinking that people have diseases, and we're not seeing people fall over in the street from something called the coronavirus just dealing with the fear. We're dealing with emotion and the fear and the new cycle, and that does a lot to the mental health so. If. You're using head space. APP. and. Taking care of your mind as had space will say take care of your mind. That true crime. If you're not careful with something like this, it can really mess with your head space as somebody who reads a lot of true crime. I often look at story I'm always looking out story because. That's where I can keep on the level. I can't get into the gory details as much because it's just. Too Sad it's too sad. Now there's a way to investigating things and bringing nutritious to light. Obviously Michelle was somebody who did that and that takes a lot from somebody. You ever met a detective who works in? the police. The Police Department who deals with. Killings and with all sorts of stuff that. We may see on the news the local news, but we don't get to see the scene. After certain time, those detectives it takes, their toilet wears them down. They become different. And I think that's something that happened to her. Now when I talk about? Or think about this. I WANNA related to you. I often think about a method actor. Somebody who is really good at taking on a role and becoming that person on film, and there are some great method actors out there. Who have become the person that the subject of the film. Thorir onset. They're in their trailer. They are that person. They're not the actor, the not the actor's name. They are in a method role. And if the character was v Wade fifty pounds less than the character that who or who they are, they're real way at. They'RE GONNA lose fifty pounds in like. A month and a half. They're gonNA just eat tuna fish and a bite of apple here and there their method actors A. Go somewhere that other people can't go. And a lot Lotta Times. They pulled off on film. So. When I think about. This stuff I'll be on the dark and the documentary coming up, and and even the book, but think that the. You know. The documentaries can be very dark because we're. Sick were so into dark stories. Dark stories in the darker. They're better and that's where they're going with us. I believe. So. I remember when the first. Big Batman movie came out in the late eighties starring Jack Nicholson that he had played the joker. And he had. Gone into that character as a method actor. Who was playing a comedic psychopath? Somebody who is intent on destroying Batman but driving everybody else crazy. Turning right to wrong. Just just psychopathic killer. So, that was a more comedic. It was more whimsical that sort of movie. Fast forward after that years after that when he's ledger how that part to play the joker in the Dark Knight? That Nicholson had. Spoken with the actor about the method that when you go into that place that dark place that no one else is going as a method actor that it's it's impossible, not how some traces back with you, so you can't go there without having that some of that DNA comeback with you so. If you're playing psychopath which you aren't. But your method actor and you're going into that role. You're coming out of it. A little screwed up. A little screwed up. Now. That's the actress job. That's the choice that they make. But when we are as People who are interested in true crime and story. What's the best way to get? Get Out of it without going into deep. I think it's just a stay on the surface to think about the story and and think about. If there's some positive things to be taken from it to to stay there, because if you go into deep, were A. Show like this brings you into. It might give you nightmares. It might bring you into a place that you don't WanNa go and you'll be thinking about. Some things that she had. been thinking about because. In her book. It's an obsession. It's one woman's obsession with the golden state killer. Finding out who he is. You know what a Deviant that personnel, the gone killer Gino how. Sick and twisted that stuff is and the people that had experienced it the real victims what they had to go through. She put herself into that role. And I really think in the writing in some of what I've read. I couldn't continue. Because? It was just as if I felt bad like she was the victim and she might have thought that. In order to go into the place to catch the killer to to bring one piece. Of thing to light after forty years of so I wanna go cold and Die. She had to be the method actor actress and go in to dot role and I I don't know if she ever came back I. Don't know. Maybe the documentary will discuss that. But I think it's going to be really eerie. and. She Got Watch out just gotTA watch out. I'm very curious about it because it's a story that just. Yet an entices me I think the book Maybe I will read it someday. Go Go past chapter one or Maybe the first chapters. But I think it's up there with some of the greatest works and true crime. As some of the grace works in true. Really focus on the story and the intricate stories, the back stories, and how they they in. Influence others and how it comes to where there's a there's a body because when there's a body working back from backwards from that body is where you you get to the story, and if there's multiple bodies. then. They're all intertwined them some twisted story. So so warning. HBO's done in the dark might mess with your head space. Because in this time right now it's. Really, good idea to take care of your mental health. Because, they're just such bad news. All the time. All the time there's. There's something else coming out you'd never would have thought of. And it's coming soon. It's coming soon and you got to prepare for it. So, that's a little bit of the art life connection and my thoughts on this new documentary. And if it's anything how I see how HBO stuff. It's GONNA be. Really Eerie. So maybe stay on the surface with this one. And don't watch it with the lights out. So thanks for listening and being a part of your story or your life, because it is come back for more, and I'll have more for you. Sign off now. Have Day. And Be careful. This one my mess with your head space.

writer Patton Oswalt Michelle Youtube HBO spotify Michelle McNamara apple Mahoney Ellison oswalt Eddie Oscar Wilde oswalt Ethan Hawke COPS Jack Nicholson HBO Batman Michelle Mac Maria Mesquite
Patton Oswalt Rerelease

Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast

1:54:07 hr | 4 months ago

Patton Oswalt Rerelease

"Hello I'm Malcolm, McDowell and you. privilege to be listening to Gilbert God reads amazing podcast. So listening if you have any bulls at all and you want a good laugh, you better listen to this one because. doozy. Hi This is Gilbert Godfrey and you know we love all our generous supporters on Patriot and we're adding more goodies all the time bonus episodes behind the scenes, videos, questions, trump patrons, coming dragons, and more GOEDE PATRIAE ON DOT com. Slash. Gilbert Godfrey. Thank you for your support. Hi. Dave. Gilbert Gottfried I'm here with my co host Frank Santo by Jerry. Gill were doing it again. What last week we took our first week off in three hundred and thirty something weeks. Yes we put. We put up a best of Gilbert the best of Johnny Yeah I yeah, and sharrow will be making Charles. De Joan embry is bringing on a to Ken. Monte rock the Thursday Serramonte Rock. Best of Carson this is the best of Gilbert. We're going to run an episode of from twenty eighteen with a great actor comedian. Patton. oswalt. This one is memorable because it was recorded the same day if you remember but we did this nutmeg with Frankfurt Arosa this was recorded the same day that authorities captured the golden state killer a fascinating. Yes. Even, though patent was having an insane day a chaotic day he still kept the appointment with US still needs to push his wife which doing that in-depth book. Yes. About I think. His late wife Michelle McNamara. And then after she died, he took over the book. That day they caught the killer and he did the show. Yeah, he was he's a standup guy. You should pardon the expression and he he kept his commitment to us even though he had a million reasons to to bail and reschedule angle. Very Fun entertaining. Interview Yeah we've spent the first fifteen minutes of the show talking about the pursuit of the of the the golden state killer, the capture, and his late wife Michelle's Dogged determination and how she spent years devoting her life to this. There's also some fun stuff about Radha to we. Seek, you talk about sequels, two movies that you wanted to see like a sequel to titanic yet. We talked about B movies and revival houses and the new beverly and Blacula edney lament and all kinds of things and even a mention of Gloria Swanson Chimp. Love. Show my God. Yes this episode so And are doing something again here for the second week that we haven't done in many many years and that's take a little time for ourselves. So. We're going to take a much needed rest and break. These are hilarious episodes gaffe again last week Patton this week from two thousand, eighteen we hope you guys enjoy it. We hope you enjoy talk about the Malinga ships. Yes. It's required listening. So from twenty eighteen. Here's the best of show with the Great Patton oswalt enjoy. Hi. This is Gilbert Godfrey assist Gilbert Godfrey to mazing colossal podcasts. I'm here with my co host Frank Santo Padre and once again. Where according to get nutmeg with our engineer? Frankford Rozo. Our guest. This week is an actor screen and television writer Emmy and Grammy winning performer and one of the most popular admired and prolific stand up comedians of his generation. As an actor, you seen him in hit TV shows. The King of Queens the simpsons. Archer justified. Mystery Science Theater. Three thousand. Science Theater. Three thousand. One of those shows. Each. Turn. Agents have sealed the. Birds and AP bio. You also know him for movies such as Magnolias Zoo Lander glade. Way Trick knee. Friendly. From A. And feel and format young adult, and of course, the brilliant sharp Ramey. Picks Hours Oscar. Any comedy rat tool rabbit threatened. Sui Little One word you actually should be saying like Jerry. Lewis you're struggling. He. These don't saw film scholar. Yes in the. The New York Times Bestsellers Sambi Spaceship Wasteland Silverscreen feen and his new crime book in which he completed the work of his late wife Michelle McNamara. I'll be gone in the dark I. I. didn't write that one. I got it finished. Yes. Okay. God. Okay. Okay sorry. Guess. Topic. I'm doing very professional oh yeah. GRACING and you're. One so it's I'll be gone and Dr. One woman's obsessive surge. The Golden State? Killer? Welcome to the show a sought after comedian actor and writer who somehow finds time to listen to this podcast and a male. fantasizes about seeing a movie called. Billy Jack Purses lack, yellow. You you all know him from science-fiction three. Zero. Rash? Russell. Our Pal had nozzle Oh Gilbert and Franklin. So. Happy to be. Here you are. Here I am rambling. Three and a half years. I could have done this way earlier I hate calling shows Oh hold out till I can be there live. We're so glad you're yeah, it's so much fun this way and you're not you got a lot going on. This has been one of the most surreal. It is so strange how my my my late wife's book. On in the dark which this morning was about this serum kill that she was trying to solve this case where six years on it and did not live to see it completed but this morning I woke up. There were pins on the cell phone. All these news alerts they caught the guy he's in jail the Golden State was caught and is now in prison and credibly, and that's how I began the day and I'm ending it with Gilbert Godfrey. No one's going to be one of the weirder. Surreal the. Serial killer. and. What can you ask what really I mean? Let's Seize the day isn't it? Living your best life which just talk a little bit about about this the the book and what happened and I mean because this is such yeah. She was a a true crime writer and investigative journalists but which he would do is she was kind of perfecting this new sort of. Method of where she would use a lot of online resources and searching because everything's being digitized. Now, for this stuff that normally would be hidden police files that was she was suddenly using Google maps and da searches and familial DNA and an geographic profiling to figure out this guy was the worst uncaught serial killer in California history and one of the reasons he wasn't caught and is going to sound very creepy was. They didn't give him a good name. He started he was called Iran's ear. Hans was in the seventies he started in Sacramento East area rapist. Then he stopped for awhile shows up down in southern California as the original night stalker they didn't know these two guys were the same guy for years. DNA comes along in the nineties realize the same guy they called him. Iran's the take your ten minutes to explain what that means. And that doesn't catch on. So she and when she came up with golden state killer, a lot of these like, yeah. That actually is helpful because you know he didn't have a name that land like Zodiac or nightstop marketing. So it is working in a in a case like that. It's true. It is truly advertise. You cannot keep people's attention unless you give them a cool name like like son of Sam son of Sam Great Name Yeah and I'm not saying that like Oh. Yeah. He's killing people. But if you WANNA catch him take a deep breath and give them a really good name. You know don't don't call him the the third left up after the barn killer like wait what don't let Gilbert tried to pronounce Joey Gilbert It's funny like. Sale. A serial killer like a breakfast cereal or dishwashing. And give it a cool name that rings and People's head. Did you see this coming at all was was this this take you completely by stock I thought it would be it was weird because the night before I was in Chicago doing a book event with the journalists who helped finish the book and Michelle's researcher and we ended the lanes and Billy Johnson Billie, Jensen and Paul. Haines and we ended the evening This is in Chicago where my wife's from her family's there and someone was asking, do you think you'll ever be caught and we think and I think the evening by basically saying I think time is running out for him. In my mind thinking five maybe ten more years on the road with because he was so uncalled for so long wake up i. mean we went to bed at eleven thirty I get started getting things at like four in the morning he's caught. He's in jail they're gonNA have a press conference that a huge press conference and it was crazy. It says it's been a very, very surreal day and now there's like you know he's been convicted of two these murders clearly if he's his DNA if he's the east rapists, he's also the original night stalker and he's killed twelve people and raped fifty unbelievable and also more that we probably don't know about. And former policeman. Right, right right. Right. Probably flashing a badge and the reason he had to quit the police force and this sounds like something out of a bad laughing sketch. But in the seventies he was caught shoplifting reassigned saw the hammer and dog or. He would invade homes and he was shoplifting hammer and dog repellent, and then they they were going to usually in the force will usually help cover that any immediately quick don't dig any further. I'm done I'm out which should have been very suspicious. He was shopping because he didn't want any record him bind these items you know. So again, it's just the levels of the story can end here. I mean they're no, this is. Part two of the story is. A whole other. That's what I mean. There has documentary or something or HBO is doing a multi part documentary about Michelle and the writing of the bonder full at now, this morning should happen documentaries like it's a different movie. Now, I don't know what's GonNa. Happen like now they're trying to figure out what's this old moving into being because we didn't do a big like like they're gonNA, do it like the jinx or making a murderer a big long series so they already had him under two names. Under two names in the seventies he was the east area rapist ear then he vanished. because guy one of the guys he was trying to attack and he was dialect, he would attack couples he would tie the the husband up. Make them lie face down on the kitchen, stack plates and cups on his back and go if I hear any of these hit the floor while I'm in the other room with your wife I'll kill both of you. Like just Like these, he would. He would break into houses early and leave stuff like hide stuff like handcuffs and ligature. He could use later like he would prep the scene and he was held at gunpoint at one at one time and got away. He would volt fences. It was just it was really end. he and then he vanished for a little bit because that the one where he almost got caught spooked him then he shows up. They didn't realize it was him down in Galena in Irvine as the original night stalker, and that's when you start murdering people. It's incredible. It's the whole thing is it's insane and you must be numb I mean we've caught you day. Job. Yeah. Just talk about our favorite Buddy Hackett. Laker into. How do do we say? Duck Which? Disappointing. Well because. Because I wanted to lay had that little subplot in it's a mad mad world in the studio went there's new comedy team and we'll George axelrod with somebody to be reckoned with but the movies just kind of mess. McDowell and Roddy McDowell it's funny. It's kind of like that movie was the original Ferris Bueller. Could say this noxious kid. Over on everybody horrible except you're not rooting for him. I wasn't ruining first Bueller and that's the first thing I used to broaddrick episode where he trash Bueller five minutes into the show. No sitting right. Where you're sitting guy opened with it, I told Matt's broader who is a very nice. Guy. I was nice enough to show up here between plays a break is like a two hour break. Tickets ass until can read them. I. Had it. I had to open up the interview saying I fucking hated Ferris. His response now. Sharing Nicer very cool okay nice. It's weird how you get back on some of these eighties movies where I liked Ferris Bueller when I saw it but I can't not look at it with my eyes go. This is a movie about a sociopath. Yes, she's associated. and. Then there's of course you know the other theory about Ferris Bueller of course is it Bueller doesn't exist. It's all in Cameron's mind. It's a fight club situation hyper he's imagining he wants would have been a good movie. and. He had an exists, but it's weird tomorrow I fly back to La and I'm going to go. To the premiere of a new Youtube Red Show called Cobra Kai and remember the movie Karate Kid yes. Okay and the and the blonde villain. Johnny. Lawrence. Who was in Cobra Kai this TV show it's ten episodes. I've seen all ten episodes going tomorrow. It's Johnny Lawrence his age. Now in his forties love at total loser he's never gotten over losing the thing and now he and Daniel Russo is like the successful auto dealership guy in the valley and Johnny Lawrence Decide to bring Cobra Kai back and try to get revenge and it is so funny what a smart found the same actors. And getting. Back to Ferris. Feeler I also thought. Okay. So the Prince and felt sorry for Rooney. Yeah. Principal Villain. Unless. He's got a kid who's constantly missing schools. Any goes after I'm as a principal should do and so the kids missing school lying to his fair and. Yes, he's a scumbag. Although it is weird. Now, also watching the movie knowing what you know about Jeffrey Jones and seeing him. The teen boy or turn of. Like Oh, that's not going to aides ver-very were. Facing after a boy. Shame because e such a good actor he see was such. He was so great nominee. And beetlejuice. Devil's advocate. He was the only unfunny part of Howard. The duck when he gets possessed by that demons remember that the alien monster possesses him and all his lines are hilarious. You you and I are the two guys that sell Howard the duck. Oh. See. Howard the duck. I. Saw it when it came out because I. was like Oh maybe this'll be good and but he has a great she took my eggs The diner he went underground the poor guy well, what? Yeah. What's he gonNA do Chopin Auditions and it's One of those things like I. You know. It's to say you feel bad for. Guy But I feel bad for I. Feel Bad for the fact that you know he did have all this talent and why couldn't he have you know I i. if you're that talented and clearly that intelligent, why don't you go seek helper more? Self aware enough to you know what I mean but I I it's tragic and also ultimately the people that he messed with is awful. They're excited to meet him like, Hey, you know those movies and then. You know from this show from listening to this show that we jump around and there's no rhyme or reason to anything. No sequence. No. This is made perfect sense. We've gone from a serial killer to buddy, Hackett? To Pedophilia and then, and now we go to. And you know you were talking about that movie that's made from. Brings his own segues. With the villain from Karate Kid. Yes. I always wanted to do sequels to movies where like Titanic I wanted to make a sequel where the Leonardo DiCaprio character does live. And and the two of them get married and then she's gone wait a minute. We're in a rat infested that apart, right? Exactly. What if? Going to be cooking my meals and light and why am I wearing these rags for? Yeah and also that thing Oh wait a minute. No, you were my slumming side snack but I'm not shouldn't be married. Yeah. Like your fun to spend a crazy night with but a life. Oh No, this is a new. He's GonNa. He's GonNa grow up to become a temperamental alcoholic artists. Yes. You know who's just like, ooh I. Wait a minute. We her choices were this very handsome stable violent psychopath and this fun. But also clearly someday, very destruct like she just had no real options. It was good that she got away from the music I in the artist she just she nailed him and then let him die good best of all possible. As long as we're talking about fantasy scenarios I before we lose this because it's in the intro Billy Jack Versus Blacula. Oh. Maybe my favorite from your book. Yes you're wonderful book silverscreen fiend. And in the back of the book, one of the sections of the book is you imagine fantasy films with directors I imagine yeah I imagine a month of films. This place called the new beverly in L. A., the the owner died Sherman Oregon and I go I WANNA program. The Great Sherman to Oregon and I want to I wanted a program one month of movies that people either dreamed of making or should have been made some of those are based on movies that were being developed at one point. Yeah. Like French Fort Coco. Doing back in the early Seventies. Wait. What can you imagine? You actually put Christopher Walken in yours? Yes. I did he would have been a great doctor straight young Christopher Walken. I'll give an amazing doctor strange. What about Sam Peckinpah Superman starring Steve McQueen he was developing that at one point. Can you imagine he was one of the they? They had him on his director for a little bit and he wanted and my my my my dream scene in that will be you know someone blast machine-gun men's chests and the bullets deflect off but just go into other people and it's a bloodbath. And he doesn't slow motion and. Yeah falling back with the arms in the air. And William Holden, his lex luther. Avenue. He you even put the dreamcast together in each one of these. Well, Steve McQueen is Superman. I thought you said, you say, well, fuck it. Was Great, right right? Yeah. Right. Come on. Billy Jack versus blacula because those two movies that have been discussed on this show. Yes. Well, I mean the First Billy Jack Movie. If you've seen it recently is so insanely slow. Everyone remembers the ass kicking in the park seen and what they forget is it's literally ninety minutes of talking with three minutes ass kicking it so bad and then actually the original Blacula is kind of fun is you know? When they talk about black. I'm sorry for jumping. Talk. About Shaggy. Schizophrenic. They. They they always review it may say, and the Great William Marshall. And I'm going well, what where do we know William Marshall from other than black peewee. Peewee show but he was also he was a huge. Wasn't he the King of Tunes or something. Yeah the black he was playhouse Laurence Fishburne. Lawrence fish as the cowboy. Right. But yeah. People on he's. That's A whole other how is that? Little hipster bands named black. Also you. You imagined a bio pic. This was sweet with your friend. Sherman. Played by John the. Great. The late great. John Khazal. Yes. Yeah. The movie goer Percy's The moviegoer. Yeah. Yeah and Yeah. That would be a good Sherman bio-pic. Yeah. Just 'cause John is only got to do those five movies and that one episode of Streets San Francisco and then gone five big movie. So it's so insane, he does five movies but five iconic move. Yeah. They're all pictures. Yeah. Three Free Best Picture Three Godfather to and was was insanely memorable interviews. Yeah. You know playing playing characters that would normally would would fade into the background. But he made so real the conversation in. Deer Hunter. Aw, let's. Oh dog a afternoon of course. That haircut. Dog, day, he was course. He. was was really weird because I did a movie a little movie called Big Fan and my mom was played by Marcia Jean Kurtz who's one of the bank tellers in dog day afternoon and In there's there's a spike Lee film called the inside man like the picture, and she also plays a bank teller with the exact same name. Cool as her character indoor and she says, while the questions I've been held up before. And it's supposed to be the same character. Joke little in joke. Is Yeah Yeah Yeah we talk a lot about lumet. On this show we tal- Sidney Lumet I was just the other day talk about that guy he does what? What did he do? Dog Day afternoon Serpico, and then murder on Orient. The crazy away from to change. But still, but but murder on the Orient Express is so weirdly violent and dark G. rated. But that murder scene at the end in the blue light with all stabbing the Guy Nightmare it's great. It's one of your favorite movie moments too. I saw the Perot? Did another movie I. That's a favorite of mine even though it's not a perfect film and and he himself thought it wasn't perfect the Wiz and I know. I've got swear there's no seen. Bye Bye. Man. You were talking about on the show and when you mentioned that, Sorrel Brooke was in Mike and now I gotta go Oh, you went and downloaded it to watch it soil Brooke places kind of. Swish e writer this big Red Electric Typewriter and it's kind of just a day in the life. It's. It's really good of wiseman shows up in a to know and and Jack Warden I mean great actors. Yeah. But but it but it has the pacing and the stakes of these little precious indie films. Yeah. You would see at Sundance now but they were making this in the early seventies like the stakes are so low but you put you care when you look at his body of work and. You look at things, and then you look things like prints of the city and and and and twelve angry men and pawnbroker, and it's just it's a wonderful output. He has a verdict and the verdict and q a John Q. and A. Ryan, and then what does it before table knows your dead a great one? Yes. Yeah. Very that's the last one I think I think he was like in his seventies and it looks like it was made by a twenty three year old on answer all. Sense. Crazy energy to it, and that was one of those movies. That those rarities when you got those movies that grab you in the first minute. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. That was one of those one. Was it Sidney. Lumet just going new with his lifetime go and then cast. Philip Seymour Hoffman. Wonderful. into it yeah. He his he wrote a book called making movies is so. Kind of squirming Lee honest about he goes I've done a couple of movies where you realize halfway through. Well, this movie is GonNa Suck we didn't do it. I gotta finish it because and then you watch previews going he at this is this. and. He never says what the movies are but you can kind of guess Matthew Broderick was sitting in that chair talking family business. And saying, he didn't understand it and he still doesn't. Yeah. I, think that's the one where in the book he he all but says, he goes I got all these huge stars. It was one of those things like a can't miss and we're watching the early cuts I'm like this is no one's GonNa go see. Such Weird I guess Sean Connery was supposed to be Irish in that even those doing Scottish. Doesn't do as he's always is reddish. Yeah. He's got us this strong Scottish accent buddies Irish and his son. Is Talent. And his grandson is Jew his son is Dustin Hoffman, right? Yeah and then his. His son is Italian but he converts for his wife and that's how Matthew Broderick is Jewish. Yes. Yes. Yes. Right. So so an Irish. Irish guys playing a Jew. The juice playing an Italian guy and the Scotsman's playing an Irishman. Yes. Got Set up to the shittiest job. But it also wasn't the cast. It was one of those movies where you know Deniro was supposed to be. was totally different casts and. They just cobbled it together with the pulling off this. Criminal operation. Because of some Chinese guy. You each one cannot even remember this Oh my God I can't even remember this movie I live. Things one of those movies that you watch immediately forget there's no there's nothing to cling to know nothing stays with you know. And they all must have been so oh, my God him because that was probably right after connery won his Oscar also for playing an Irish guy with the Scottish Rex Tillerson Oscar. Fathers in dog day so he wanted to work with. James Broaddrick. Is the the COP? Oh, at the end of the end that it keeps, could you put your gun down and then he shoots corral and the head so he knew. So he was on the Dog Day said as a kid, any new lumet no never worked. was their chance to work together I didn't okay but it just didn't happen. Wow that makes so much sense but I still don't care. And I was like Prince of the city because unlike Serpico, which is a great movie prince of the city really makes it more. SERPICO is black and white. Yeah and printed the city you go. You know you're not sure who decide with. An even the main Guy Treat Williams clearly at the end doesn't even know am I good or he just so adrift and they he shoots it. So well where he starts off with all those big wide shots and the shots keep getting tighter and tighter till at the end, you're just stuck the so claustrophobic watching that film and it was also the first on the anyone looked at Jerry Orbach and went top. Yeah. That's right song and dance man. That's right. We face for that was it. We love character actors like you love character because we had Tony Robertson here's and Serpico no she to get these guys in here and we had Bruce Stern and we had Tony Lo Bianco I know you like Wasn't even killers the Coen picture to the the one with Andy Kaufman. Oh I they said the COEN brothers. have. Picture God told me to Yeah Yeah. We had Larry Cohen in here to. Real I. Think you already told the story in the show when when when he was at Khan, who he was a can with a Q., the wing serpent erect and Roger Ebert went and saw it and he comes out a zero the story. Yeah. SEES LARRY IN ARKANSAS God you have the most amazing method act acting job. I've ever seen in the middle of all this shit and then it goes to shit was my. Story Proud of himself. The great thing about one Larry Cohen was on this show. It's like you're listening to him and you go. I think ninety nine percent of this bullshit except find. But nobody had a rifle in the opening scene when the guys on the tower when the snipers on the tower in in God told me. And they end the prop guy doesn't bring a gun and he's got something like six hundred extras. Yeah. Down in the street and no gun and he got on a bullhorn he said, does anybody have a rifle? Some woman in the crowd said what we do and ran home and got a rifle and that was the rightful that they used in the movie I do would you hope these stories? Hope they are I do know that he he told her about how when the scene were Andy Kaufman is the cop who goes on the shooting spree. He was in there against guess they just went and guerrilla style in in an actual parade kind of. Started, taunting the parade goers and they were going to kill him like they were going to start a fight and then they get the scene done quickly that I believe I could see Andy Kaufman just. With these people. But yeah, it was I don't know he gave a really later this really interview years ago where he said, you know Superman Superman never made sense to me because he comes down to earth and a spaceship in the fifties and Ma and PA Kent Find Kansas in American, the fifties. So they're gonNA take in church every Sunday and little baby Clark Kent is going to be sitting there little kid Clark Kent, Tomlin this guy. Named Jesus who comes out of the sky who has powers and abilities that no one else has and he's going to I think on Jesus I think that's what they're talking about and he wouldn't have become reportedly would've started religion or something like that was such an interesting take. He's in La. You look them up you should take him to lunch and hang out with him. He's a lot of fun. Yeah. Think, he'd sportsmen a couple of things and I think I got a card from him once and I lost it or I just But someday hope I'll hang with that but he seems like really he's made some very weird move the stuff. Oh Yeah Oh yeah. Oh Yeah I'd. Go. And those blaxploitation pictures crazy. Oh. Cesar Yeah Yeah up in Harlem, and he's listened to that episode for just you know they never got permits I mean real guerrilla filmmaking. Yeah. And there's one called bone with Joyce van Patten and Koto. That's very disturbing that he shot in his own house. Oh Lord and the whole movies on Youtube if you got nothing to do one night for two hours. Okay. So weird fever dream. But talking about the stuff in the book and it's Kinda touching the your your relationship with with Sherman and the and your five dollar. Film School. The beloved new Beverly Mace go to the new beverly Now it's being renovated. Quentin Tarantino bought it, and he's Totally refurbishing it. But back in the day, you could see a double feature every night for five bucks and I just got a F- a cheap film education but I, remember I would I would talk to. Me was always in the ticket booth like he was just this little face in the ticket booth like this little YODA figure and I remember I went there the first time May of nineteen ninety five to see eight and the whole and sunset boulevard. There's I double feature there and then I went back and they kept going every night but then I remember four years into it they were showing that double feature again and went to buy my ticket and Shimmering Oh hey pat and he Thought you'd be showing me a screenplay by now. Like it was his way of going. You need to go and do some stuff like you've seen enough movies go make a movie like that's cool. All right a movie. So it was that. He just kept track like he saw the world through that stream, but he remembered everyone that came in and out and. It was a back in the day when you've got a couple of times I was there Lawrence Tierney would show up. And I was watching. I was watching citizen Kane one day for nine hundred time and I'm half an hour to the movie enjoying it, and this someone sits down behind me I. Got The. And then he starts to whoever this is just talking to the screen and about the movie like let the fat ass on that at that Guy Oh he's kissing her everyone knows your fag. And I was GONNA. Turn around and go like, would you shut the fuck up and it's Lawrence Tierney just rattling awfully I knew that. And then it became great like this is the best DVD comedy I've ever heard and I'm really kind of digging him and I half an hour of him just dishing on everyone and it was an immunizing dishing. And that motherfucker right there. At other. Aso. And then his handler came in some kid and was like, Oh, Larry there you are come on we gotta go man and then Lawrence Lawrence Tierney stands up and says I never seen this cuck before it ain't bad and then he let like he just saw half an hour of citizen Kane context. Not Bad even though according to him hats off for fags pitches. Just when the show is starting to get good gonNA throw a monkey wrench into the works with this commercial word. I want to tell you about express VPN. Go right ahead. You love movies you love television I seen one. Lets, you access the Internet as if you're from a different country. Netflix has different shows and movies available depending on where you are and with express VPN, you can unlock thousands of new shows and movies from streaming libraries around the globe. Gilbert. Do Much, it's obviously obviously there are hundreds of out there but express VPN is ridiculously fast and you can stream everything hd quality would zero buffering. 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On their. GotTa. T it's time to get back to Gilbert and frank's amazing. Cool offer podcast. Let's go. You you. Of course, have very important topic. You're brought out sunset boulevard boy now I got into a talk with Old People Jackie the joke man. This Oh. Yes Jackie. That's. And and you know in the beginning of the movie, she's holding a funeral for her beloved pet chimp. Right. Story you know where he's going here. Pun. No I don't Dorey has it bad rich women back then like especially in Hollywood where this depravity was going chimps were trained to perform Connell lingus. On show these women would by train chimps to perform. On this is according to Jackie. Martling becky Marlene and and cheap but then I looked up on the Internet And so you went to the verifiable source. To get the salad information. Let's back up. This could bullshit. Let's go to the Internet. Noble. To the. True where where they're reporting John Travolta died today. Yeah exactly. Let's check out of. That old, the old gray lady the Internet out. Okay but hang on let's say that is true. Yeah. Let's say they were training camps to. Put. But when chimps get older, don't they go crazy and get feral and. Break People's jaws neat their faces off like. Why why? Why did we never hear about some actress getting killed by her pussy eating chimp Gill while the studio. The. Fixes. Abby Mannix they say. To the house she was in and hardcore would be. Court and part of that story was that wilder goes up to Gloria Swanson and gives her that piece of direction at the beginning Oh. Yes. Yes. They're said. Remember your fucking chimp. It gets better. Ask. fucking? fucking Jim. Losing the light quickly. And you mentioned Ace in the hole, which was also the big carnival big carnival, and also you know the slang term for that movie was why? Because it failed? So horribly because he was riding such a high, he's like this movie i WanNa do I got control now and they called it s in the ringer. Lost so much God damn money. It's it became like. Specialty. Ballsy. Movie Oh God was so ballsy for its day and Chris. It really is a head of the time on talking about the media and how old's and fake news and how the how the news is whatever you decide to make it. We will just keep changing store. It was really. I think it was just an but he it. He delivers the message was such a fuck and sledgehammer because Kirk Douglas is such an asshole with it. Now garlic pickles he cast is Great Yeah Oh that whole yeah. The whole the the guy from the plate animal install seventeen who just dying slowly in this Goddamn Mine Leo Waiting Foley whatever they remember this of air changing it. Where they have a way to rescue them early way quicker and he yeah and Kirk Douglas and the Sheriff Bury it because they want him in mind longer 'cause they're making so much money when he slaps the wife great to make her cry for the Douglas was not afraid to play an asshole no, the bad and the beautiful. Some of those performances I think mad city I think that Travolta remain GOBY IS A. Remake. Yeah Yeah, and not very good new. Yeah. Yeah Travolta and Hoffman. Tell the story to and it's it's a story. You tell that Casablanca story about the new beverly. Oh this is going to make me so sad. Oh, you don't have to tell. It's sweet. Sweet. Okay. Yeah one night the new beverly was Friday. Night Raining go see Casablanca twentieth time with all the other Weirdos who again and I look back on it. Now I was in my twenties I was I wasn't bad looking I could be but I was like, no, I want to be in the dark with these eighty year old. Film freaks with their. Just seeing this movie one hundred time and and in watching Casablanca and right near the it's literally like comedy sketch. It's right. As are saying goodbye at the airport he goes I mean listen we'd had promised to. In the the the film broke at that moment, which is oh God but it was so bad. For, there was also funny kind of started laughing, and then you can hear them fixing the projector and they didn't turn the lights just sitting there and everyone started whistling as time goes by in the dark while they fixed the whole theater I love on rainy Friday night there were maybe thirty of us in this theater just like. If. You don't one of those montage scenes of like it's nineteen ninety-six in La. Let's cut to this dance club this Bar, this movie premiere this you know restaurant and then these thirty people just alone in this little theater in the rain whistling, and then just cut to the next thing that was going on somewhere in the city that night late. As the book it's Yeah Yeah it's now it's funny because you talk about your childhood there or year teenage twenty some and I remember during my teens. Used to have revival houses all over Manhattan on what year was this. In the seventies or sixties and seventies well, there was the biographic there was the regency. Failure sixties, early seventies was the heyday. Of Revival Theaters in New York nighmare cinema I the the waverly waverly. Go to them a lot. I would catch old movies you know old Marx brothers movies are obscure films. and. The funny thing is now and I look back on and picture myself going to theaters. It makes me very sad it kind of makes me sad to lick what was drawing me into the darkness during the years when I should have been out in the sun like like my wife now I've I've remarried and she was one of those people that and she she's an actress and she's amazing. He was married at Salinger she was she was dream a little dream this of course we met backstage. Quite. A hottie over still is but I but in fact, in fact, what I I'm sure must've jerked off one of her movies she'll be so pleased that yes, that's A. Next time you're having sex you WANNA make sure to mention. ME. Off. Sitting in. Hitter with Dick. and. Jerking off to your wife while year. A matter of fact makes time you're having sex. Imagine you're fucking May. Ask. You got on that one. For the rest of your life. Time you had sex with your wife, your picture that you really fucking. Well, thanks go see you in ten years erections. Ten. But you know she was she didn't see a lot of movies because knows how are you kidding making movies I was making movies but also at the beach and I was you know going out with hot guys and enjoying life and I was just in the dark but but I love those little moments these weird pockets of time like I remember reading about there was some little coffee shop in the village back in the early seventies that I forget what it was called. But during the day Richard Pryor and George Carlin who were who they were was that Hansen's or something might impact. Would they would. To handoffs, just doing stand up to whoever was sitting there and it like eight people and they would they would like and let people just ignore them like the fuck this shit you know because they were. They were kind of going through their transformation. So again, you could do that montage of. Late sixties early, seventies New York City where you know this amazing thing is going on on Broadway and there's a thing at the met this restaurant. This and then you cut this little coffee shop. Two guys we're going to be giant someday right are eight people or just Oh God shut the hell up. You know like I just love those little moments. That's what this shows about stuff we miss. There is we missed out on the things we didn't. We didn't actually you to experience. Why weren't you there for that? Yeah. Someone pointed out that the hotel that I'm staying up as a little Bodega next door. We're pulling up today and they're like, see that potato mega that used to be Max's Kansas City I'm like what? Literally. Max It was announced a little Bodega New York's changed my friend and and it will always every ten years you'll come back and half of it's gone you worried about the the Mayes of movie theaters as I'm worried now more about his worried about the demise of movie theaters. I'm worried about the demise of just a basic knowledge of. Of just a basic outline of film history because it's going to let a lot of. People that are audacious but not talented get away with a warming stuff and being hailed as geniuses or being. You know what I mean like it'll be I mean there will always be originality. Originality is going to fight harder and harder for air but the thing that's really scaring me right now in La are all these weird little. small business stores that are run by that aren't necessarily in it for the Prophet. It's almost like they have their collection of stuff on display. So there's like a weird little bookstore like dark delicacies or a little place like secret headquarters or House of secrets or. Or a a a a little vintage store like bearded lady all along Magnolia and what happened like I was driving through Silverlake. Has All these little final record stores, eateries and little. You know clothing stores, knickknacks, tours, and right near Rosemont and sunset. Now, there's a giant. One of those three plex is with a starbucks, a Japodlay and a hamburger habit right smack in the middle of Silverlake now in La in East La and I'm Mike that's the beginning of the end of all small businesses. Yeah. Once that thing lands think of that as I remember the monolith monsters. Rocks man they would land and they would just start taking over the landscape. That's that is and then. Businesses he the the the the landlords go wait a minute. Here's what sucks. I have nothing against chipotle and starbucks. Great. But there they are accessible everywhere. But the two blocks of Magnolia that have those weird little stores that's the only place you can go there and every week. No, they don't make crazy money during the week. But on the weekend they do great 'cause that's the only place you can go get them and then people go shopping then they go to a starbucks and they want to gut all those stores and dropped starbucks in there they want. To drop a starbucks half a mile from the starbucks you were going to go to when you were done antiquing same thing's happening here on the east side. Oh it is sure sure. Was York. Ville was you know it was it was a German neighborhood and it was all mom and pop shops for years I mean until recently and it's being driven out by that kind of stuff and you see the you know. So the bakery that was that's been there since one thousand, nine, hundred, nineteen closes. And slow and they don't. Bothers me like that. Again, I have no problem with capitalism and profit, but it's like what starbucks makes twenty, billion a year but someone in the world goes. But what if we made twenty one? How does that? How does twenty one change anything from twenty at that point? You've made it you should actually relax that's like that Hard. In Chinatown. How? Yeah. Like how much Richard? How much? Yeah. How much better can you eat? Yeah. How much better can you eat? What can you buy that? You can already afford those future Mr. Gate. Other other cool store still, they're like Larry Edmonds bookshop in Hollywood. City. Hanging on by their fingertips. Sure. To like when I was. In my teens and twenties. I walk around. The. Street and they would junk stores that you go in. You could kill your entire day in one of those still bookstores where you could go and kill him. Well like right strands is still there but the. Yeah. About. Going to these tiny bookstores. The thing that was was was great about those stores was not only were they selling books. They were also selling the hunt. Of course, we eat part of. Of of filling yourself with endorphins is the hunt no, and we're getting rid of the hunt record stores to yeah and that's why I was I, did a lot of stuff on record store day the whole vital thing like, oh, great talk because they're all holding on the AMOEBA records might be going away or my. You know all these other places it really I don't know. It gives me the he be a little bit because. It makes me look at no across in trying to at least know across was trying to build a future of water and whatever it was. He was trying to build these people. They don't even they don't even want to own the future they wanna there is no future. If everything is just chipotle starbucks Hamburg Habit Japodlay starbucks is just boom won't that's it and I can easily see. A day very nearby with there are no movie theaters. We're heading toward and we're heading their natural. I moved to new. York and moved back to New York two in two thousand and three from La and I think at least fifteen theaters disappeared in the in the thirteen years fourteen years that I've been back. I. Mean and none of those revival houses exist. The goddamn Ziegfeld went away. Wait what Gone Yeah Sake failed gone it's gone. Oh Shit breaking. Yeah and nothing to replace it believe me. I remember the Waverley. Would made the when when they had L. Topa that the legendary assures tribute or Ben Barunholtz yes and we worked with the COENS. Yeah. He he he famously it took out newspaper ads the size of a postage emptor said L. Topa at midnight, and then in the window of the no poster just a piece of Cardboard L. Topa at midnight no one knew what that meant and word of mouth just that's how 'cause I. Remember there was a simpsons named George. Martin. That was like you know things that are just inherently good and interesting will catch on without like that's why. So when they have these gigantic ad campaigns for milk. Or the family will something's kind of weird about those. But something like yoga or some little they have there's no giant there's no Yoga Council it just people do it and go look I know is going to sound really wearing me saying it really works great go do it you know it does doesn't need the it's the stuff that is inherently shitty that needs the giant push because it's not all that good and I noticed too in newspapers which saying the word newspaper is anxious Oh my God yeah could be a whole big section of Ed's for movie I got some fans have been sending those to me. They've been sending me old newspapers from Seventies. With the full page ads where there's like. Guys Right. Newspaper, no no. Said everybody in you know soon, everybody will have a theater in their in their house, the TV's even worse but then the home theaters going 'cause what's going to happen is that they're doing the. Thing, where you can put a headset on and it creates the experience of being and you'll watch you plug in something the size of a cigarette but it'll feel like you're sitting in the arc light or the Cinerama Dome that's how big the screen will seem to you. You'll have on noise canceling headphones this great sound look. Fine. I'm not against anyone's amusement but a movie you will see a movie different. You'll see it everything's about it. When you watch with a bunch of people course, there's nothing at all generally with a bunch of people that that's the thing that experience well, number one. putting your shoes on and going to. Exactly, and then being in a movie theater where everyone laughs at the same time screams at the same time or even when you're in a movie that's not working is so fascinating. When. There's a comedy and made clearly landed what they thought was going to be a joke and the audience is like. Yes. That to me I love. It. and. Then the especially, the other thing I have missed about I'm so jealous of you you were because not only did you have access to all these rep theaters but you had access to Times Square and all those You never knew what was playing some weird thing that would that would There's there's a guy, one of my favorite filmmakers got him, Andy Milligan Andy Milligan, torture garden, and the are coming the where wolves are here and Dr Jekyll sister hide he was the the ghastly ones he was the heat he was he made like Ed Wood look like Wes Anderson his ship was so awful and half of his filmography is gone because he. would. Make films for these Grind House theaters they show them for the weekend and then the distributor they would call this year we're going where do we mail this back there like Oh, we don't fuck you toss it. We don't want it. We're not paying the post for that Shit just you know send us the money made were we're done I don't care and And he would And and and he would just. But there was no such thing as previewing it a poster nothing you walked in and the ghastly ones the fuck is this. Those days are gone to square well, they would have porn. and. Movies, but but slasher movies like maniacs. Able for our pictures driller killer. Tonight Forty Five Times Square I saw on, make them die slowly yes. Wait a minute, hatch them and killed them. Make them die slowly. Is The jungle one like the Cannibal. Yes. Them, both of them. Would have like a a half a minute scene in Manhattan. And then they'd go to the jungle with actual tribe. Yeah. Yeah and and I basically I think the correct term is fucking guineas. He's obsessed with these Italian directors who are working under in the states under under pseudonyms well. I mean, initially they made doctor, Butcher, they made Sergio Leone work under a pseudonym. Let him use his own? Yes. There was this guy that was the he was the asylum films of his time. He did the visitor and tentacles and where he would see a movie that was coming and he would very quickly crank out a layman and imitation and this movie called the visitor that was his it's the exorcist but also close encounters helix slapped together three phone even notice these and the and the Goddamn cat. It's like Glenn Ford and John Huston it is the nuttiest Goddamn movie called the visitor you. Oh, you have to go know a movie called the night visitor. With Max von seat out about a guy who escapes from a mental hospital at night and commits killings and sneaks back into the mental hospital. This picture sounds great words thing. Now, now, a more recent film. That's one of these like low budget but let's see what movies work and slapping together. There's one movie it has to do with finding loss footage and it's it's after the Blair witch prior. came out a ton of short. So found open water loss footage, it's all very shaky. Camera, work and where they're stuck in a place with dinosaurs. So it's a it's a hybrid of Blair witch in Jurassic Park Holy Shit. This isn't Roger. Cormon Karna souris. No Karnisovas the movie with I. Think Clint Howard Zinn Karna saw has and he probably. Got Two hours. That's your name Laura dern. We had Cormon here too which was oh, that must have been a May. Have Cormon and and and Larry Cohen and Dick Miller. Wait a minute Laura dern wasn't carnivore was wait wait. No she wants the Jurassic. That's lords earned Sam Neill Diane earn. What's your name? Diane Ladd, her mother. MOM and. Yeah, I? Think she's the man. Yeah well. Okay. Sometime. In this next decade hall, we'll come up with. But you know again I there these little I remember there was this movie I was obsessed with for years to the point where I did a bit about it call death bed the bed that eats and it's about a bed that indeed is obsessed possessed by demons. When people fuck on the bed, the bed eats them. It was a it was a way to get like softcore, and then they would people would just get dissolved by the bed. And And it was just legendary like loss film and then someone found a picture of Times Square one of these with deathbed on the marquee which probably played for a day and then vanished, and then eventually it showed up again like ten year. showed up like five or six years ago on DVD and I did a screening of it at the Alamo Draft House just so that I could see it and like I should see this movies. They was some movie. believe it or not low budget. And and it had to do with a deadly a girl with the steadily vagina that had teeth. It was called teeth yellow not was called teeth and Regina grew teeth. Yes and. What do they call it but joint Dantata? Didn't Totta. Sigmund, Freud. There's like the lion king's. The sci-fi channel of John. I'm. Glad we have a we ran last. Thank you. My Lord to Crack Research Team but yeah, the in. Places, like the asylum and also just people that are doing direct to video of that. That's that's the the new ground grind house. Now know and also like their stuff netflix's has this sort of hidden basement. Now, when you go searching for horror and sci fi there suddenly if you go like to row eight or nine, suddenly these movies like they're the disc from and you give it a checkout, it's pretty cool though I remember being in Times Square and they still the idea of double features that's and. Also. Go but they was a I wished to Christ I had. Brought a camera. With Me Push. A double feature of Ford Fairlane and problem child my God. You'll recover it extravaganza. Wow disturbing. There's there are some moments in in Fort. Fairly my brother was pointing out to me that the movie Ford Fairlane doesn't work but. Are these individual moments that are so goddamn funny when he after he comes and sees you and I remember because the exterior shot in front of the directors guild building on sunset. So I if the camera panned over, he be across in the fact. Yeah, and you've just said, I'll give you a thousand dollars. Give me your note no desert till. Have the finish dealing in one hundred and then he walks out voiceover he goes money money money. Does weird little ask kind of. Dutch kick. Weirdest moment, it makes me laugh so hard every time. Out of nowhere I saw you and Karen your friend Karen doing the grabbing the the blast of silence where they turn you loose in the in the academy. Academy. Of Silence Yeah. They're gonNA. Let me start doing that again I t c Sam is doing their Their big film festival there they're opening their vault and the thing that they're showing the Saturday but I don't think I can see midnight and very early Sunday is one of my favorite movies. It's Timothy Carey Film. Oh I know this picture no it Oh God well, John. Cassidy's favorite comedy. Yes. Yes. Yes. The world's greatest sinner. World's greatest. Center is this movie Gilbert. You have to see this guy. Timothy Carey who is a fucking lunatic and he wrote produced shot starred in directed edited this movie took him five years to make you make it piecemeal. He shoots him and he would of so he kind of legendary it's legendary us as black went move about a guy who decides he's got an insurance salesman. He's gone forms of rock and roll band forms of religion and And the soundtrack is was done by then eighteen year old. I used to know this. Give me a hint I I can't really think of him. Okay. Frank Zappa. Yes and it is. It is so Goddamn bonkers. But really really funny. Okay. We'll watch greatest center you'll love at. This is something also that gets me. It's like. Years ago they could make these weird films that are totally out like spider baby. Yeah. Hey spider baby. So On the show. You did we're going to God ago and it's like now when they make a movie that looks like it's GonNa be weird now they're. You know they made it. Does. Not. Look like the world's Greatest Center Timothy Carey thinks he is making a serious statement on our times and he's he's a he's a goddamn lunatic like but he does not think he's making a crazy movie. He does he's not tongue-in-cheek. He's not trying to be funny and that's what makes it so amazing. Spider Babe sub-genre of crackpot movies. Yeah. Made by guys. They're visionaries at least serious. Yes. Yeah. Like well, obviously the room. Would the grand maybe the granddaddy you'll bring stuff is a ma- neil Neil Breen I can't think of to look up neal bringing. Tommy was so of. Oh boy, another star and director and there's a guy a what the hell is his name. He made a movie called it called road to revenge, but it's also called get even but the spacing on the title squashes it together. So the title carts has given. Oh. My God you have to it. They're they're amazing class, a total vanity projects but also I'm I'm bringing the mass is something changed the world? Yes. You watching a what the fuck is wrong with this the way both you guys did TC essentials. What did you pick for your Special Lake Ray Roberts with? Robin is. Reforming. Lovely. So cool and my movies were. The conversation there you go. Freak slow 'cause you're such a huge shields in your L. Fan. More there's more. In the beginning. Yeah, right. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. With Cindy Williams within. The conversation on that freaks. By the way freaks was one of the was the only time minutes in a movie because I've been I've been to a lot of movies where I've seen parents just bring a kid. Yes, and then you WANNA I don't WanNa, be the asked with the goes don't have your fucking kidding here I went to see maniac midnight and there was a guy holding a baby. We Lost William lusting introduce the film he goes. Thank you off coming out We made this movie back in Nineteen, seventy nine on a wing and a prayer. Joe Spinella. Joe's but fucking rules is God bless you heat. He's dead now. So after the movie I'll be in the lobby I might be in the lobby hang on. Now. I'm leaving all right enjoy the movie that was his introduction for the Other ones of the original of mice and men with launch our. Junior and and A. Strange films swimmer with. Cash and and a and a very young Joan rivers and. It's based on a John Cheever short-story Regina thank Schori she john cheever that movies incredible and that was one of those movies. It's weird but not with that self conscious sense of weirdness it's one of those that. It's so different that draws you in. Yes you can't. You can't turn off and it's got that actor in it from when we do a whole show token about jumped McCain. In the right guard commercials Oh that guy whose name I don't know bill feel. Very good terrific Karaoke Mike God Musset Nat. I cannot picture him strike McCain did these commercials for right guard a million years ago high guy he would open his medicine chest and then. The neighbor was on the other side of the medicine chest and. Fury. Like Gino Conforti type. Okay. Oh I I when you were talking about I'd Jane Tierney of boy I once met Alice Cooper who became friends with Groucho, Marx Oh. Yeah. Sure. Them would watch the late show together. Oh. GROUT show would be sitting there he's. going. Your your shoes I after overnight chain he was should big fake. Doing old. Groucho with. Cabinet hanging on every word like. To a joke and the. How you describe my favorite respectful. Was He skinny but he somehow still has. Yes. Yes. Oh. God. Oh, you mentioned freaks that was the only that was the one time where there was a guy behind me with a kid it was at the old silent movie theater before it came came to the family. It was one time when I was like and I wasn't being mean about I'm like your was like eight Mike you should take your kid home and watch this and he's like, oh, it's an old movie. And like this is not what you think it is and it's really gonNA. Mess him up I'm just telling you and I think they stayed for about fifteen minutes in the kid was like I wanna to go the whole movie of Greeks even one it's not a scary scene. It's still care starving that that long shot of of the woman out in the woods with them and they're just kinda frolicking around. Yeah. So disturbing. Disturbing Oh, God what were the movies you pick before we lose track of it really quickly three, ten huma. Journal End Ford and. Van Heflin, which basically the whole movie is about an older gay dude who is his sick of his young rough trade and he wants to settle down with another. Old Bear and GonNa try Seduce Van Heflin. If you watch it, it's it's he's lying in the bridal suite up in the bed just GonNa, WanNa join me making his his Glenn Ford's attended. Is this guy skinny blond guy all in black leather and it looks like this little like rent boy it was it's the weirdest and it's an elmore Leonard script. That's right. Yeah. They remained it not as not to actually they remained it really well, but it was more like you know J- just rugged manly violent but the original for the fifties and it had the Great Song Sung by The guy that saying blazing saddles as your Frankie Laine Frankie Laine, yeah So I showed that. I showed the Oh God why am I blanking kind hearts and coronets? That's wonderful which is Alec Guinness playing seven different assholes being killed up by an even bigger asshole and then I showed these with the Colombian film called the wind journeys worst title for a great movies made in the early arts a guy who's convinced he has the devils accordion and must travel to the edge of the world and throw it off and they just any just it's the low budget shot and Columbia as he travels through the landscape and it's so beautiful and he's got this accordion leaves the devils accordion and it makes them do weird stuff. It's brilliant and then this Belgian comedy called ultra. About these two Douche bags one of them is a stone or that drives a tractor combine. The other one is a professor at some shitty college and they hate each other they get into this huge fight out in this field and the combine like malfunction crushes both of them and makes them both quadriplegics and they travel across Belgium in his little motorized wheelchairs to go to the company ultra that built the open to sue them and you follow these two and they become even their paralyzed and even bigger assholes now and it. So it's like this classic Laurel and hardy comedy, but there's little. and. You see these long touch them just buzzing along these it's Not Doing adjusted but it's so funny where do you find these offbeat pictures these these I mean there's this there's this subscription service called film movement where every month okay. They go to film festivals and they find really cool films that get all this attention you've seen this you go to film festival film it gets all these awards doesn't get any distribution so. They every month they send you a new film and they send you really interesting stuff. They sent me all altron. I'm running these down wind journey sounds like they should have called the devil's accordion. It sounds like a Herzog thing. Yeah. It's amazing free out there and then all tra-, A. L. T. R. A. let me ask you real quick a couple of questions. From listeners. Guy. Diagne ask you questions I'll go quick Chris Hankinson How is production on MSG three thousand going we are starting next week and that's all I can say okay. Don't WanNA. Talk about the movies that were doing on if was here but we're oh, was snatched the. Okay. But we we're doing some pretty interesting films as time around the the the last season we did season eleven as a film in called Carnival Magic. My brother was a writer on that show and he was like I'm going to commit suicide. If I have to watch this movie because he was reading the jokes, I came in one day and he was like I'm Gonna I'm GonNa Kill Myself I. This is the worst movie I've ever seen your brother Matt, my brother Guy and a great twitter feed. Funny Guy by the way count this is quick from Big Daddy Pat, and welcome to the ACP universe. Poor man You said Repo man was a game changing inspiration. can you talk a little bit about either Reprimand Barber Rosa or Richard Pryor live in concert We'll Richard Pryor live in concert just goes without saying it was what made me go? You can a comedian that's like watching a movie a really good one is just as good as seeing a movie because of the Little Caesar. Yeah. Now, when when you saw that filled. You aware that Marlon Brando talked to Richard Pryor in the ASS. I saw that. Was Eleven and as little as I knew I could sense. It was like you know what? is going to sound really weird coming out of an eleven year old. Guy Was fucked by Marlon Brando and as a fuck Marlon Brando vied coming off of hip eleven or a little. Is that Marlin. Richard. Pryor. Is that Kurtz come on on prior he's got. Him. Repairman was just that thing of a hit me right at the right time a teenager in the suburbs on board I discovered punk way too late and just that movie about having a job where you get to be an asshole to other people that was that was where my head was. You just take stuff from people making anything about it and then some other aliens and it also was like it was it shot in the shittiest parts of La, but it makes them look so beautiful you just WanNa go live. I don't know that movie's just I I WanNa live in that movie as Grimy and horrible as it is and Harry Dean Stanton is nonstop. Stan Oh my God. He's so which we gotten him here but I heard him on Benson's podcast and he basically just he was on Doug loves movies at a live episode. You know about the no or you can track it down and he basically sat there and and gave monosylabic responses in. Yeah. For about an hour. So I could totally see we didn't pursue it. No. I. Isn't gonNA. Go anywhere. We will return to Gilbert Godfrey Jr. amazing colossal podcast after this should. Support for this podcast comes from state farm with surprisingly great rates state farm is the real deal when it comes to home and car insurance state farm agents are in your neighborhood ready to help personalize your insurance and you can manage your coverage, pay your bill or even file a claim right from your phone with the state farm mobile APP visit State Farm Dot. com today to get a great rate without sacrificing great service that State Farm Dot Com when you want the real deal like a good neighbor state farm is there hey guys randy sklar here i WanNa talk to you about what I'm wearing under my pants right now, and they are my favorite underwear in the world and they are Mac. Waldon's Mac well makes the best. Men's underwear and close but the underwear I'm just telling you I've never had underwear like this in my life. I've worn them so much they bring me so much comfort. They feel good. 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You will love this underwear so much. You'll love it as much as we do, and that's a whole heck of a lot macworld dot com slash star Burns Promo Code starbucks. I just got to ask you a quick about it too we oh, boy. And Mike Aquino's coming here by the way to a couple of weeks. Out of the rat anti-semitic. That show, it will appeal to the. Now I can't say anything sentimental Oh God. God Damn. Good. It is and how well it holds up I mean it's it's it's as it is so Goddamn Good T. Not. A false mover no, no no. Not a false moment. Not a none of the stakes ever false at Brad Bird is just so they're rats at and you're rooting for these goddamn rats and he went out of his way to make them look and act like rats they. Didn't weren't they studied. The animators were studied rats studied kitchens. They studied they went and they built a separate computer programs so that the tiles in the kitchen would all be uneven because they would go to these great kitchens tiles and even and they made sure that it wasn't. It's nice grid they. Had A friend WHO's chef is like, oh, my God in the backer, there's always a pot of potatoes and water which every restaurant just they always have potato soak in water watery to go. That's what restaurants have. It's a great little. They're little as details. It's a great movie about creativity. A. Yeah and how individuality you can't decide where creativity is going to land and if it lands someplace weird, help it out. Help. It out of it lands someplace weird. It's that whole cast I have to say and just watching it again last night in home and you and Jean Rice, and Brad and Peter O'Toole they. The animators would have fights they would draw lots to see who got to animate Peterborough tools lines because they played me his dialogue years before they animated it I spent two years on that and so always alone by the way because I know Gilbert was in the booth because Gilbertson interact with Robin. Williams. I was most of. Those they would do it alone. Most voiceover. You are alone. Yeah. Sometimes I would do it with Jonathan Freeman. who was the WHO is Jaffar? Oh Oh because you're going back and forth. Yeah. But even then when you're whistling, they don't want you overlapping dialogue. Very much doing it by yourself. That's what always gets me when I hear these stories. All God when Robin Gilbert with together and that. That would be and I thought I never ran a tomb. Most boast voice our I do a lot of voiceover and I'm always alone. The Simpsons. or at least say use do it like an old radio show they maybe they did at the beginning but I also think of when they were starting out I mean digital technology recording technology i. you can record shows anywhere when I is a show that I do for Sifi called happy where I do it over skype you know with direct so I it's all keeps changing you can do it so that you know. I. Think a good actor can even out of context can figure out where the line should be in how it should land and I had Brad burge directing me so it was he really knew exactly what he wanted. He had the whole movie in his head and he knew what the other performance would be like and how they bounce off of each other. You show a lot arranged I. Mean I'm watching the scene last night in the sewer. Oh man you're turning the page and gustave was coming alive off of off of the cookbook and it's heartbreaking. Yeah. It's really and also the the scene where he is is kind of breaking off with his family. He thinks it's one or the other now really really sad. Yeah. Yeah. The world we live belongs to the enemy. We must live CANCELMI. We look out for our own kind. When all is said and done. We're only got. No. What? No Dad don't believe. You telling me that the future is. Can only be more of this this. Is, the way things are. You can't Change Nature Change is nature dad depart we can influence. And it starts. When we decide. Where you're going. With. Lot. Four. Terrific performance. How did he heard you in a he was riding around and his car in his car they they were having trouble casting the lead I didn't know they brought me in for the lead I was driving his car. They played a bit of mine for my first album. I'm talking about steakhouses and very filthy. talk about gravy pipe going up your ass and. So he says, that's the voice I want any did I've never seen it but he apparently he sitting to Pencil test of remmy doing that routine and he showed it to the dizzy people in there like is he gonNA curse like? He's not GonNa he's GonNa, it'll be his voice to log and then they brought me in for a couple of reads and I thought I was just coming to read for a rat I did not know us, coming in for the lead right after a couple weeks are like, okay you're Ramonica who's running like the rat it's cooking like wet and it was it went from you know I pop up on shows to be lead Pixar you re reference in the book when you went to see toy story that you had no idea you say no. Into the future if I had idea that I was going to be. Wouldn't have believed it can pick. Thought. Toy Story was this brilliant one off and I didn't know that they would build this empire of brilliant films. You know what I mean like you see it also good and toy story two has seen that Oh you know the John Cusak sent Oh God. I can't even think about that cry so hard. You, they're all good. I always think like when I did a Latin, it's like had that been done like maybe a year later it would've been like Tom Cruise would have been the power. Leonardo DiCaprio would be far right. Yeah. That's the one thing about really good animation as they don't necessarily. Go first a celebrity because the celebrity voice doesn't really give you any value unless they're good. I'm not saying never use celebrity like Eddie Murphy is worth his weight in diamonds voiceover actor. My God. He's amazing Antonio. Garrison amazing voice over actor but there's other huge stars they brought into voice over and And you spent too much money and he didn't you wanted to name but then they can't actually sustain a character and it's like kids watching the movie don't know you'll care and they can bring in look. What's weird is voiceover is very, very just like live acting is sometimes a brilliant live actor ends up being a voiceover actor. It has nothing to do with their skills and it's just different I've that I want to name names but there's been some because I did a lot of punch Yvonne animated movies. There's. been a couple when they brought some pretty big brilliant actors union like Oh, boy, do you guys waste your money? This person did not deliver. This was not you know whereas then there's other times where like again, going back to Eddie Murphy is yeah. Just amazing as voiceover actor can't believe he I can't believe what does he done he did Moulana and he did the Shrek movies as at it I that's insane and then needed the PJ's for Fox. Bright. Why isn't he constantly doing voice over so good maybe we need. Remmy movie. A. In the time we have left, we done Mr Oswalt would you like listeners? I'm so sorry gone on this journey with us. Nowhere did. A good show my God. You WanNa talk about you can talk about I'm going to give your choice. You can tell those those funny blades stories, the the stuff about Wesley Snipes fucking hilarious a layoff. Now I feel bad. He was going through such a bad time. Let's not. I feel like in the future I'm going to be doing some movie where I have some kind of crazy meltdown. There's GONNA be some. Write it all down for all I. Know He was having a horrible week. You want to tell us about us that one. Instead. Would you like to talk about working with the Great Jerry Stiller? Oh, Jesus well I mean Jerry Stiller was he was great though sometimes and I don't think he meant to do this but his his way of reading lines was so inherently funny that sometimes he would get a laugh online's that he needed to not get a laugh on because it would hurt the joke after it like the way he would come and go hello children but it was always so weird that would get a lap. You're like, no that's to just set the. Yes. He did he did he did a read one time on line about he was with a bunch of because I remember I was hanging out with a bunch of bikers in the sixties but that didn't. Line was but that didn't last long because they treated me very badly but the way he goes, but that didn't last long because they treated me. Very badly. His head back and you see him live this whole which is. It was so disturbing that they went. Let's do that again and don't take that pause made the line not funny. made it creepy amid The audience is like I, Oh, wait a minute. What does he referenced think? That weird and then he also just like he was in so many movies that I loved like you know was using lovers and other strangers he's part of He's in taking a. Through. which all of his dialogue improvised Oh man that was a script yeah that's cool and and the reason the improvised he says because at one time he blew a line is when Matha comes and goes dishes Rico patrol on weekends he works for the Mafia Areco, tell these gentlemen the exciting things that are happening in the transit authority, and then he kind of looked up it from his he goes Goes well last week on Ninth Street station we thought we had a bomb it turned out to be a cantaloupe. And then he goes. All right. Thanks. Rico. And that was all and then the directors I say whatever the Hell you want. So then he just kept riffing that whole thing about even great men have to be like I said, you learn to act on that show because you kept waiting, you get the axe Oh my God well, the first two seasons so bad I was so bad and the two. Things that save me where I really started honing in on Kevin James who is a brilliant TV actor I don't say that to diminish him t especially Sitcom acting is so fucking hard to do because it's so unnatural it's hard to make it seem natural and he could he had that Jackie gleason Danny, Devito, kind of thing where he could make it. Make, bigness. Yeah and so I had that going for me and then I also had I had this amazing. We'd connection this at this Guy I was firm for this guy that grew this legendary weed out in the mid west and he had moved to l.. A. And one of the show creators was a huge pothead and bring this weeden bring them a little bit of the weed and he was like, oh You. Know I. I, feel like partially he kept me around because I had this really good. We'd ask gave me time to learn how to act. Before I jump off voice overs. Because There was something loss on one of my cards. This is kind of interesting. You both play DC, comics, villains. Over you played the toymaker yes the Batman Cartoon and Gilbert, I was okay. I was to you were too. Yeah. In the Super Boy Seer let me guess Mister Mixed. OPEC's how'd you know play? Had Voice. I've been that and a bunch of five. No Kidding Tim. Daly. Tim, Daly Superman. Tim Daly One. And I was also in the super bowl series. I did two episodes where I was knickknack master of toys. Yeah so you both played evil toy make. Guy DC comics properties. Yes. Well, I played the toy. What did I play again I'm so my God we maker Toymaker, but then I also in college humorous short I played the Penguin Did you in a live action short? I played the penguin and it was just really cool series called Batman and it's Oh Mike Y. Blanco on his name Pete Holmes. Batman but Batman. Yeah basically, he's basically like like brain damage. She's like the dumbest human being on the planet, but he does that voice. Got Goes Does the the Christian Bale Voice and and they do and I was like a Christopher Nolan version of what the penguin will look like if he had used them in the movies, it's funny scene but the makeup is so like holy of someone should actually do this. It's really cool. You can look it up online. It's a very funny sketch I when we one of my my happiest moments. We had on Adam West's know man and he said to me goes. You know. You would have made a great penguin. Yeah. Yeah and I thought wow maybe a great ridler. Yeah maybe Gr-. Well, there's a rumor range ridler Harlan. Ellison pitched an outline for an episode Batman that would have had to face in it. Yes. But it was apparently they thought it was too gruesome and they didn't do it and the rumor was they were going to at the time very young Clint Eastwood was gonNA play to face 'cause Dan here that was the rumor Harlan. Yes. Go, visit him next week and the interesting. How's he doing He his his mind is so goddamn sharp. He's know he's doing some physical therapy is bodies can, but he just does not lose a Goddamn beat and it's I. Think it's just from pure ordinariness, ass-. He just stays sharp. So angry on best but he's so hilarious while I ask for selfish reasons because we thought about having him on here. Oh, boy that'd be great and talked to him I. Mean the God, the stories that guy has yes. Well, he was also a crooner. He was lounge singer. Yes I. Know He was a trumpet player He Sang Sang. He'll tell you about it i. know he used to also go straight stuff lenny bruce? Yes. Yes. We should get Harlan Ellison on. On my phone rates storyteller he the one of the guy who was so many stories but he did when he wrote city on the edge of forever for Star Trek he had to get approval script approval from William Shatner and he he claims William. Shatner wrote over to his house on a motorcycle parts of the driveway read the script in the driveway but counted that he had more lines and Linda. Great. which makes if that is a I don't even think that's true. I wanted to be true and if it is true, it makes me love him even more. With Harlan Ellison and we. Oh. When you really Lakeway Linda Allison Wonderland Lens House I'll tell you. About. Ellison Wonderland have not had the play. With the secret rooms and the hidden pause. Weird. Yeah they're never. Yeah. Mick Jagger used to crash there. I know back in the day. Do you and they. Oh, you guys love this. There's there's a Bill Rossler softcore nudie flick called the Godson with regard. One of my favorite Russ Meyer actresses that was shot almost entirely inside ellison wonderland back in the sixties. No Shit. So if you want to see what this house looks like, go watch the Godson by William Rossler I'm writing all this down. Yeah and and and and you have to anti Larry Cohen's bone and and God Damn Harlan Ellison gets to bury his face between who she guards breasts. I remember forever. I remember asking him why he wanted to write for the flying nun back in the day and he said, won't obviously I wanted to fuck sally. Had just the right answer you have to and it's getting late in Dave's here. All right wonderful. Do Do you want it quickly tell the the day the clown cried story because I know Gilbert will appreciate it God. Okay. Very very quickly I came in possession of the shooting script for the day the clown cried which I sat down and read this way back in the ninety, five, ninety six and it's a Goddamn bunker script because it was John O'Brien and simply Denton Oh. Yes and they wrote a very serious Krypton and he. Could see where he swooped in his comedy pass like the scene where he's pissing ice literally pissing ice. So I boil it down to like the scenes that really worked and I would do these invite only stage readings of it with like David Cross and you know Jon Glaser Stephen Colbert narrated at one time We did them in New York and and then I got busted because the the La weekly caught wind of it and did a whole like pick of the week You know the day the clown cried, and then we were served with season desist papers at the theater. We're going to do it at in Santa Monica I thought they were from. Jerry. Lewis. But it turns out. It's from this producer who had the right to the original script who wanted to do it and at the time he was like. I have got I'm not going to let a bunch of Goddamn nobody's read this thing in some shit ask theater in Santa Monica. I've got Chevy chase interested in this and and that night you know he was screaming at me and then I and Bob Odenkirk was in the cast and then so we did a whole show out being shut down and Bob and David Sketch about the Guy Finding, out about it and my favorite line was Chevy Chase was born to play a clown who marches children and do an attack. Was So Goddamn hilarious. So. Yeah just. Had All these like you know it was just. It was one of those very surreal and then you got to meet Jerry for that. Well Yeah. Wisely doing these the the the year that Henny youngman died they brought in Jerry was wondering and all these young Comedians to up and read when of Henny youngman jokes in a line like, yes. Well as a tribute which I love Henny. YOUNGMAN I. Have you listened to one of his albums recently I'd forgotten how fast pace on it is a machine gun of jokes remember as no breathing room I once went out to lunch with many young men really, and it was great. 'cause he that's who he was but it's such a people keep forgetting like the hear his. His jokes isolated? Yeah. Okay. It's a funny joke I. Don't see why this guy but it's not the. The pacing is so relentless that while you can't keep up with I, it's like it's like. Death by a thousand cuts after a while it just becomes almost exciting. How funny is because it's these little extra just building and building, and it's amazing listener. So and they were trying out and then they ended up cutting the sketch Jerry sitting there in his always wearing. Shorts. and Zip up jacket but he but on his desk, he had that the rumor was he had that big silver briefcase, the bulletproof briefcase that had the reels for the day. The clown cried in it that was always carrying around I'm like I should fucking grab that and just run. Grab it and run, and then I will be chased around there'll be helicopters but back, you just get this do a thing. I could transfer to videotape and just get it out there Vira like I'd be I'd I'd be in jail, but I will be this weird. Yeah. Yeah exactly. Like a noir film where I have the day, the clown cried in the city's trying to get. Me Wasn't the route when the rumor that he would go into a room with a suitcase and he taper secretly recorded conversations, he would he would pretend to leave it in the room. So that he would record what people said about him when he left, they even made a Seinfeld episode. Yeah. That was the rumor. Really he would leave it and then come back for it. So I left my suitcase but it was recording. US. When you think about it I you go guide one and Asshole nuns. You think God, what are people saying about? Really Genius idea. I heard that Brian Grazer I don't know if this I there's nothing that. I've I've heard I've actually heard this confirm which makes me love him he apparently when he goes and gets invited to someone's party, he'll have hidden in his pocket a little frame photo of himself arose and a couple of candles and we're going to one the other instruments looking. He'll set up this little like all true to himself and then we weren't like why do they have? Candles and flowers in front of a picture Brian Lake. One thing I've ever heard again I want it to be true and also WANNA steal that like go to house and then just laid on ask why do we? Is there an alternate pat what is it like? Yeah, and before we jump I I just I want to mention that you also liked the documentary you tweeted about it Oh my God I that. Berkeley has props is so because the I it structured so brilliantly whether you open up on the life of Gilbert Godfried. They show him doing sketches and stand up on my God. He's such a Weirdo and then you reveal the wife who so sweet like it's it's the it's the opposite of like the monster reveal the it's it's the shark in jaws water. But what the shark is is a quiet normal life and it's the last thing you expect to see coming in this documentary and it's genuinely shocking like Oh wait his wife and kids are awesome. Wait a minute what the fuck was I I. I literally live. Station or something yeah. Exactly. Show up in for a second. But like but the way the the opening structured is so brilliant young you just don't see that coming. Yeah and and it's funny because I didn't WanNa do it all but boy what Nia nailed Berkeley? Yeah, anyway. Trump's Gilbert. It's so good why the first fifteen minutes or structured. So brilliantly great reveal of your delightful normal life with your. Department really well again I thought it'd be one actually know what and I mean this in in as respectfully I thought you'd be living one of those classic Manhattan kind of misanthrope small apartment like crammed with. Could you see guys like that like lake or like rats? and. Great you know Joe Franklin's office. Rat Pack kind of thing. But there's something kind of beautiful about that to Mike. Yeah. That's obviously religion like Oh my God that that is the most beautiful Marvin. Reserve gave a nice comfortable. How yeah. So great and and then you brought back down to earth watching him wash his socks in a hotel, and then you and then also when the L. A. Well, you brought back into when he drags out from under the bed trigano. Diptych tupperware things era. Skin lotions. That is the that is the and that's the scene like in the ninety s serial killer movie when they like the person realizes her husband's nuts when she finds the weird scrapbook, the weird box. Yes. My God, he collects children's shoes. That was weird trope of the in. I call it the hanging scrapbook where the killer would keep a shoebox or scrapbook full of incriminating. The lake out dislike I hope no one opens drawer and right finds enough stuff to pull in the gas chamber going to go into the apartment and seven but. But. They do that. Almost as I'm trying my movies like misery single white female and fatal attraction. There are these like things of like, Hey, I hope no one opens up. Massive. Yes. They would have these. With the walls were completely cub yes Anyone comes in here. You know you're going to jail yes. Yeah. So my favorite moment in the movie is bill Burr saying East. Fuck riding the bus. Somebody's GonNa somebody going see go is it Gilbert Godfrey Moment meal customers this black woman doing a complete three eighty. So. Wonderful Yeah. was. To do this, and this is what's so insane about this is this is the first time we've met the first time I've ever gotten to meet you. Yeah I've heard so many literally true. Oh, first time ever unbelievable and yes. A Patriot I'm saying. Think of how my day started. This is how it ended. I'M GONNA put that on. Such fans of. It's weird because you work when you get to a certain level in comedy and this isn't a brag you don't get to see your friends much because because you're now you're working, you're not doing the hang. Hanging out like you know there was times I I would see Linka patch and Brian. and Greg Barron every day of my life because we had all day and then when you start getting busy and working I, don't get to see Brian that much and we're still like best friends but I'm not upset I'm happy he's working yeah I don't want us to hang out for five hours at exit means something's gone horribly wrong in our lives. Well. So the next time Gilbertson L., La. Yes. Yes. You have one of two invitations you can drive down to San Diego because Tippi hedren invited us to come to. The Lion Reserves Can go you can take. A little more down scale you can go to Bob Burns House already been. Go, to I lift light rebounding. No. His Halloween party Oh, you went to those any the by have an imitation to go to Gimmel del Toro's house. All is I. Don't know if you've seen pictures of the interior now. Gilbert go look up right Gilmore del Toro's house and look how he decorates. You'll lose your mind and and it's it's the stuff you love I did like a weekend at a club in Pittsburgh and I was bored item my which during the day as you always are. And and what's his name Vini Savini Tom Savini. Shift. EEK House with all this monster stuff. I got the tour Rick Baker's house and I have an open invitation. Oh. My God basement alone is insane. Guy. He's right into Luke is will have to do when you guys come out. Let Me Know I. Will I rick will love to have you over and he is a fast. He worked on Star Wars for God's The cantinas scene and he has all the original masks on the wall and then we can we go to Rosenthal's house for the pizza. Oh absolutely every Sunday, kid yeah I'll bring you. He actually. Created a lot of the stuff that was in the howling. Oh, he not only did he create it wasn't even that he created make-up's he created techniques and bits of hardware that are now just standard issue that he had to build from the ground up they didn't exist until he built quite brilliant. He's he's a genius and there's a movie that he did the makeup for where if when you watch it now you think if someone said, this guy is going to be a legendary make part right? Right. Go go fuck. I do man, he did octo man yeah. Gorman thing. Yeah he's. Talk. Man I need to because I thought one of his early ones was just one. They did on Mystery Science Theater called Squirm Oh then I think Jeff Lieberman with the yeah. With the worm worse guy has a little. Bit Lewd worm face or some weird kind of yeah. But he's a genius. He is. He's a genius. My God yeah does that and he were tired now I think he's retired but he does like I mean he does lectures and yes but. You. Know he's he of course he's retired. He's there's nothing left for him to invent this you know. But the one good thing that's weird is now that he's retired, there's a generation of filmmakers coming up that have kind of rejected CGI and are trying to go back to practical effects because all the central because CGI just doesn't stunt anyone anymore there's like, yeah, it's fake and finally to practically freaks people out. Let this man go home. He's got to get up at seven o'clock and be on television. Yeah all so but. I mean. If you coming. Let me know on. I WANNA I WANNA. Watch react to Rick Baker's house. That would be fascinating and his. For his Halloween cards, the makeup he does for his family hall while Insane. What this thing just one more thing with computerization. I think Roger Ebert said I can pewter You know. CGI. A looks real but fields fake. stop action yes. Looks fake but feels real because there's a sense of wonder and manage again with that that you connect with whereas all you can do the most you can do with. CGI is just as well. That's technically very solid. Yes. Yeah but it doesn't throw. Big because I think it was like Jesus. He had to do that with Klay how did they pull that off? Yeah. The Guy Fighting five different skeletons in your brain goes they do coordinate that actor then they had to make sure to get I. It's it's incredible. Exhausting. Thanks for doing I'm. About forty minutes ago. Yeah. They say Spin Gilbert and Franks. The other show out this. Is your consistent Mike. Gilbert Godfrey each amazing colossal podcast with my co host Frank Santo Padre, and we've been talking to a man who's going to go home have sex with his wife. and. Imagine that I'm fucking. Like. He's Ned. Beatty married at. If Merit sounders pleased I. I'M GONNA. Make sure she does not listen to this podcast. But. We'll see you know. Thank you.

Gilbert Godfrey La starbucks writer Michelle McNamara Johnny Lawrence Ferris Bueller Joey Gilbert Sherman tal- Sidney Lumet beverly murder Jerry Orbach Matthew Broderick Buddy Hackett Roddy McDowell New York Patton oswalt Oscar
#1476 - Patton Oswalt

The Joe Rogan Experience

1:24:49 hr | 8 months ago

#1476 - Patton Oswalt

"Hello everybody I have an announcement. The podcast is moving to spotify. I signed a Multi Year Licensing Agreement with spotify that will start on September first starting on September first the entire J. E. Library will be available on spotify all the other platforms than somewhere. Around the end of the year. It will become exclusive to spotify including the video version of the podcast. It will be the exact same show. I'm not going to be an employee of spotify. We're going to be working the same crew doing the exact same show. The only difference will be it will now be available on the largest audio platform in the world. Nothing else will change. It will be free. It'll be free to you. You just have to go to spotify to get it. We're very excited to begin this new chapter of the jre. And I hope you're there when we crossover thanks. Oh Hi friends this up so the podcast is brought to you by the GATT damn motherfucking cash APP. 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You can stop worrying about life insurance and just go back to trying to be the best person that you could be through all this. That's policy genius Dot Com. My friends my guest. Today is one of the best stand up comics alive He's a great guy. He's he's done too many things to name and he has a new netflix special. That's coming out tomorrow. It's called. I love everything in his name. Is Patent Oswal the Joe Rogan experience? Podcast all right. We're rolling patent Oswald. How already fellow? I'm good. How are you doing man? It's good to see you. I wish I saw you right here. Give you a hug. A wish. We weren't in the plague Bu- It is weird. It is very weird. I've been trying to do your show for so long. My schedule's always insane. The drive for me is restricted because usually shooting something doing voice over something so it it took a plague. I know we see each other. Like ships passing in the night. The comedy store. That's my relationship with you. Exactly I see in the parking lot going in. I'm going in your coming out. Something we're in God. How much do you miss? Just just going in with a notebook stuff and just trying it out see of works. It's making me appreciate everything you know. The the downside of it I mean I can look at the negative. Yes I miss it. Yes I'm frustrated but the positive side of it. I appreciate everything I appreciate comics. Appreciate just be able to talk to you. I appreciate having friends that I can communicate with and just talk shit to each other and make each other laugh and saying horrible things over text messages. I appreciate that I appreciate that if this comes back if we get to do stand up again ever I feel. Comedians are going to be so much more social and just happy to be with each other and appreciate the being around people were. You can run jokes. And they're honest enough either tags something. Brilliant or tell you dude. It's so lame. Don't run down their approach at so 'cause I I'm trying to sit down and write every day I don't know what your processes my processes to rate general ideas and then worked out on stage and then worked them out with friends sitting and actually writing it no matter how detailed I make it. I don't know if it's funny or not till I get it up there. It's a weird disconnect. Isn't it yeah? My process is very similar. I write like an essay form and then I extract stuff out of that and turn that into bits war and carefully idea just comes and I start going with it and then I build it up on stage. That's rare though. Most of the time comes from an essay. And also I missed a deleting of stuff where you write something down or you have to. Then your mind is awesome and you go up on stage at the beginning parts. Great and the end parts great. And you're like this whole middle section. I thought I was George Carlin and it's just I could lose all of that in this and that's what it is. Yeah it's a weird art form. We're I think the only art form that I'm aware of that. You must have an audience in order to fully create it doesn't it created a vacuum no and I logged onto some early zoom. Open mics to watch the my I logged on hopefully thinking. Maybe they'll be an I five minutes an this is all God is not for. You doesn't the job like when you watch someone who's really terrible it makes you think. I'm Nev- nothing's funny. I can't do comedy it doesn't exist or you watch someone who you know is great. But they're trying it over zoom out this dry talking ninety miles. Now you're like. Maybe maybe we shouldn't be doing this. And people record those sets to those those gotTa be recorded but you you have a mix of people coming in live in person with you and then people doing it over remote right. Yes yes most people coming in live and test all those people come in they get the test. Yeah but if you get the test in your negative you can still get it right. Well you could get it right after you walk out the door Ryan. It really depends on what you're being in contact with and what you do and if you're smart but you know thankfully everyone's honest they don't know one said Hey. I don't feel so good I shouldn't do this. That'd be weird We've been real lucky. Everybody's been negative but we tested a lot of people Dan Who is Tim Dylan's producer. He had a false positive and so we give him a second task and we gave them no swab and it turned out he was negative. But it's if he stuff until we really can tell and then what are you going to give up for them to know? Are you going to give up contact tracing are you? Are you willing to do that? You really need willing to have something on your phone. That shows who you've been in contact with and who your phone has come near and whether or not they're negative or positive like ooh that's a slippery slope and also are there ways this again. I know so little about Internet testing level. Are there ways? If you get tested that they can go. Oh you actually had it and you recovered from it. Yes yes we do those too. Yeah yeah there's two different when you do an antibody test. There's one line that shows where whether it's an active virus and there's another line that shows that it's just the antibodies of a virus that you've got an recovered from and a lot of people that recover from. Apparently they didn't even know they had. They had no idea they had. It had a couple of friends who were convinced. They had it back in January. They had every symptom that they talk about and they thought Oh well exclude these shady poo and they recovered and they don't WanNa go out and get tested right now because they don't WanNa go out so Lebron feel like I at it so everybody thinks that everybody thinks. But here's the thing like all the old colds are still around like the common cold the flu all that stuff still around. The flu is different every year. Still around it's like you most likely didn't have it and it's it's obviously a really fucked up disease vid gets you if it really gets you. It's really fucked up and it's it varies so much. It's so hard to feel confident one way or another. It's so hard like I vacillate. I go back and forth all day long like parts day. Were not worried about it at all and this parts my day where I'm like fuck. What if this mutates right or would if I just did something that I thought was saved? And but now I've met the new strain and in two weeks ago. Remember how we told you to do this. You actually need to be doing. And it was also man is they? Don't know what the long-term aftereffects are this even if you recover from it. They're thinking that there could be long-term bronchial issues respiratory issues. They don't know yet they really have. I was reading about this article in The Times today about children that get it get a particular type of inflammatory disorder. That's causing. One kid was like fourteen years old. He got heart failure. It's very rare at all the people that have gotten it. It's like less than two hundred. People have got this disorder most children when they come in contact with this disease. Don't have an issue but some of them do in this particular kid basically was fourteen. He was having heart failure and they don't know why they don't know like it's not S. Would they used to think it was just a respiratory disease and now they're like well. What is this so these are new things? They're trying to figure out as they go along again. We're talking about this now because we're going through this. I just feel like and again. I don't like to predict the future. If we do get to go back doing comedy I just feel like I'll never talk about this on the last thing. People are GonNA WANNA see on. Stage IS MY FUNNY. Kkob story was going to be on. Everyone's funny Kobe Story. So there's no real you know I'm not going to inflict out on an audience. Go Up ten at the store on a Wednesday night. It's covered bro. Someone is government way better than you move on. Let's move on. Yeah. I think it's one of those things. It's going to be a real problem for comics. I mean you ha. I hear what you're saying but on the other hand someone will come along like a tell or someone will come along and have the perfect. Take on it and you're like Oh there it. Is You know or whether on the other end of the spectrum like Joey Diaz will come up and do the raw most personal uncomfortable but also brilliant takes where you're like. Were you might actually have a unique story of after hearing Josh like. Yeah I don't need to share exactly right. Yeah that one's going to have a crazy story that you're going to go. Well yeah someone will nail it. Yeah and hopefully someone who's I think? First Dibs go to people who caught it. Yeah let them comedian actually gets it. Maybe they get to do the bid. I yeah like Michael Michael. Yo almost died. I didn't know that. Yeah he got a real battle. Yeah he actually was here in studio the week before he went to New York. He was run burning. The candle both ends flies to New York. Would no sleep does radio does all the Promo show? Does everything does stand up at. Gotham back with no sleep. Drives THE NEXT DAY TO VEGAS N. Home from Vegas in the same day with his family. Kids screaming has auditions for the next two days stressed out burnt out boom than it hits them and when it hit him it was felt like shit that his friend while he was suffering one of his friends whose doctor told them to take advil because he said he had a headache because he gets migraines he takes bill. Boom goes off the deep end. And then it gets real bad and he was in hospital for a week and the doctor you know they were talking about putting him on a ventilator. This is the early days of the disease very early. This is the beginning of March. I think the end of February February beginning. I think somewhere around there but early early. When they didn't really know his doctors wise doctor says if you put him on a ventilator his heart is just gonna his lungs are just going to give up and he could die so they don't put him on a ventilator then it turns out in New York City and correlation of causation obviously but eighty percent of the people they put on ventilators wound up dying and his doctor. Yes yeah could be that they want up dying because they were so far gone they were going to Die Anyway. Could be right. They were going to die because of what the doctor said because if you put people on a ventilator when their their lungs working and then the lungs don't have to work anymore did give up. His doctor was essentially saying was going to happen to him if they put him on the ventilator so they didn't put him on it they put him on that hydroxy chloroquine shit and didn't he didn't react well to it. It made him feel worse so he got off of that and then slowly got back to feeling better and better and to this day. He's been out of the hospital. I think a month and he can only do like two chimps. These are really strong. Active like really healthy guy. Normally he can only do like to ops. Is Listless as very little energy. Just fill still feels like he's still struggling. He came in. He looked great. He looked totally normal. I would not know if he didn't tell me but he still feels like he's got fatigue. Yeah I mean I'm sure the body battling that it's like okay. You need to shut down. We can build you back up. You cannot go back to whatever your regimen is. Let yourself wind down another thing. He had was a vitamin D deficiency. And I didn't know about that until after I did a podcast with Doctor Rhonda Patrick and she was talking about studies that have been done in New Orleans and Indonesia and several different studies would with one of the things they've shown is the people that are in critical care in the Icu THERE'S A. Large percentage in some cases over eighty percent of them are vitamin D deficient versus the people who have sufficient levels of serum vitamin C. Vitamin D. In their in their body. Those people it's less than five percent so it was four percent of them that were in the ICU. People with sufficient vitamin D and more than eighty percent of people with deficient in vitamin D is not just a vitamin apparently. According to her it's actually a hormone and it regulates many things in the body and most people are deficient from it. And in the United States I'm more than seventy percent of people have insufficient levels of Vitamin D and twenty. Nine percent are deficient to the point. Where it actually can cause medical issues. My doctors is like take here. You take vitamin D Everyday Sun. Get some that's the best ways the sun so number one. Yeah but if you can't get an aside all the time vitamin D supplements do work. You know and I've seen people argue this like really the best way supplements bullshit like no. They're not they're they're okay head. They're just not as good as the sun. Don't be stupid like look. I get my blood tested take vitamins and I and I find out what my serum levels are the works you take vitamin D higher levels. It's really simple. The Sun is for sure better though. No one's going to argue that but for black folks. It's even harder because you know their their bodies are designed with all that Melanin to the they evolved in different climates and anybody Brown. Anybody who's got darker skin. There used to warmer climates. So they're out in the sun all the time so the bodies protecting itself from cancer with the Melanin but unfortunately it also prevents you from absorbing vitamin D as easily. That's why people that live in places where it's really fucking cloudy or Super Pale. Because they're basically like a son like a a a solar panel provided just like talking as much in you know so. It's tricky for everybody but it's particularly tricker. Trickier FOR PEOPLE WITH TANNED. Skin darker skin. Like you gotta get that Vitamin D. And it's so important and it's one of many factors that they think Is that play with people to get really sick from this disease vitamin D. Yeah well that's okay. That's another thing too much disease it I it just I. I've I reread guns. Germs and steel about the Spanish flu. And the way that diseases you know rewire and reboot your body to benefit the. It's just it seems like we're making the same mistakes at the beginning of the Spanish flu epidemic. And there's going to be an insane. Spike which is where all the real death and destruction happened with that if that spike is coming because of all of these half measures and all of these amount wearing a mask that defiant. I'm going out and we're just. We have to brace ourselves with this other spike. That's coming in but also what could happen is we could get an education on how to boost your immune system. I mean one of the things that really drive me crazy about this is. There's nothing proactive about what we're being asked to do. Everyone's being asked to shelter in place but somehow another. It's okay to go to the grocery store it's okay to target. It's okay to go to a lot of places but it's not okay to go to some places and I feel like people need to have the ability to take their own chances and need to have the ability to protect themselves like you. You need to give people the opportunity to work especially in in situations where you know. You're you're dealing with people who their entire life could fall apart over these couple of months where you tell them. They can't work and there is. There is a way to test people. There is a way to sanitizers way to be safe. There is way to be smart about this. There is a way to keep your immune system strong and we're only looking at keep away. We're not looking at the whole spectrum of possibilities that we can do here to to move on I. Obviously everyone's anyone could be should be allowed to take their own risks accepted in this case in this scenario you taking your own risks tips other people who might not want to take that risk into those areas and I absolutely understand that. Someone's life could fall apart in two months if they don't work that's I think that's more of a symptom of being the social safety net that we have to have out there for these kinda situations. We're seeing that in a very stark way. But what I'm saying is if we don't follow these harsh because the other the other scary thing about the Spanish flu. Was it kind of the way we got over it as a kind of when it kind of just burned itself out and we need to burn it out of the population that way and ducks. That's right now. The only way we have to do it because we clearly don't have the testing capacity. No it's so weird like everything you say is right but we don't have the stuff to implement what you're saying. It's so frustrating. Well we don't have the stuff to implement what I'm saying right now but we do have. We do have the information as far as like things you can do to boost your immune system. Make sure you get better sleep. Don't eat this but then you've got people that look how many kids relied on school for food. Knits are huge problem right now. That's a giant problem because there's a lot of poor kids who literally rule relied on school in order to get their meals in and now they're family has scramble and figure out how to come up with more money to feed these kids when they can't work like it's it's madness we. These kids relied on school for food. They relied on school per shelter for a safe. Space actually talked to a responsible adults of come from very bad home situations like a again. All we do is cut money for schools which is where such a big part of the population is alive because of what the schools provide and I don't think it has to come. I don't think should come down to Billionaires women of what they want to give money to or not or your local church there should be some kind of structure so that people can have some dignity and not have to beg also stressed. That goes onto the living under the stigma of. Oh He's got to get the free lunch or they've got there still were so anti poor in this country we treat poor people like they have a disease or something or they or that. They've done something wrong and that can really fuck with kids. Psychologically growing up it really can one thing that I would hope out of. This is the shock of all being so vulnerable will make people a little bit more humble and hopefully hopefully dash some of the flames of materialism that have gone through our society during these soft times and people just getting really into shiny bullshit and just recognize like boy. We live in a very fi finite state. We don't have much time. We evoked Raj out very agile. Yeah and we're waking up to that we existed in a goldilocks period in this country. From essentially away from World War. Two on two here where there's a there's an instagram page history. And they had this. This really sobering post about imagine if you were born and the year nine thousand nine hundred and then it goes on to. What would happen by the time? You're x? Years old the Spanish flu starts by the time. You're Y years old World War Two and it just goes on and on and on and shows how fucking horrific it was for people who were born a hundred and twenty years ago. We got lucky. We had a nice sweet spot where the waves weren't there. It was nice and it wasn't too hot out. And then we got cocky accepted. It feels like now especially Gen Z. Is Repeating version of what people born in one thousand nine hundred went through because they a lot of them remember? Oh my God it was nine eleven and then now this they they actually remember. A lot of Australia was on fire us. This year started with Australia on fire. That's how we rang in the new year and it's gotten so much worse. Did you ever see the size of the burned area of Australia? It's fucking crazy. It will it. I don't even your I think some people's minds shutdown about that philosophy billion animals apple billion. And that's going to start becoming a typical summers. That is going to become the norm if a radical drastic change isn't made but maybe you were talking about. How would if there was a shift in consciousness in terms of how for knowing how fragile and how precarious everything is it? I think it'd be really cool if America's switched to I don't mind America flexing. Its might and saying we're number one but it will be so cool if we change that flex to like the way a small town gangster flexes and he goes everyone here. If there's some old lady that's about get addicted. I pay for everyone of my everyone in my five blocks is taken care of. That's the Bragg. Yes he drives a nice color on where to sued but the extent brag of my flex is no one in this country. Goes hungry doesn't get medical care and that's what we flex to the world instead of flexing look are billionaires. We have like twenty crazy rich billionaires. It's amazing and instead of that are the Bragg should be that no one in America is is in need and is desperate and dying. That should be the weird jock flex. That'd be cool if we could shift that and I think we need we need a weird jock flex but it's an interesting motivation a weird Jock flex but a a jock flex can be used for good. You know what like instead of using it instead of drinking back on your self directed outward and make that thing like hey you know. Could you imagine if if there was a high school? Where all the jocks? All the Alpha. Jocks were by. No one gets bullied in my high school. If I see any bullying going on shut that down like that was their there. I bet this more today than you believe. There's a lot more than when we were growing up. People are aware of it now also especially because I think people are aware that kind of the NERD fringy Weirdo. Kids tend to end up running the world. So you've seen enough. Examples of those guys tend to run things so there's definitely that well one thing that we are realizing from. This is that you know. There's a lot of people that have that libertarian bent. Let the market decide. You know we need a small government. Isn't that when something like this goes down? You realize oh you need structure. You need a pandemic response team. You need people to figure out a way to get food to folks you know we need. We need to plan like this can happen again. It's very again. Visit any third world country after an earthquake and look at all the crumble buildings with no rebar and go gee really want building. Inspector's that what you're saying because it'll all fucking crumble argument with people. That STUPID LIBERTARIAN ARGUMENT. Like my dad's an architect. My Stepfather's architect grew up on construction sites. You have to have inspectors if you don't have inspectors man you're fucked. It's like these guys are. There's a lot of dirt bags out there. Making houses there people cutting stealing money and watering down the cement. Like the Fuck Outta here. You can't can't let the market decide takes too long to if you buy a house it takes years before it starts fucking up if they do a shitty job. It's like two years in the inspectors. Are there to protect the people that are actually doing it correctly because a lot of times people doing it correctly have got to go to sub contractors and contractors supplies and those people can be sketchy. So if you don't have the inspector come by going. Oh Stu just rip you off with Substandard Cement foxy. 'cause I have that guy's got nine hundred things. He's gotTA DO Everyday Day. The guy in their check tobacco on Chris doing it so that should doesn't collapse on you. Well the world is really complicated and people love simplistic answers and simple government. Answer the left. We don't need cops. We don't need cops enter kiss. Oh Oh you've never been robbed. I guess you've never been robbed. Never seen a guy with a gun the fuck out of here. We don't need cops course. We need cop stupid. We can do all get together and put out the fires. We don't need. Firemen would save our tax money. No you need government you need it yes important just has to be effective in good and sometimes like all systems it has to be test tested for flaws and. I feel like this. Experience has been a great test for our system. And it's flawed. It's fucked up beyond belief especially with like distribution of food. The food supply chains like falling apart in front of our on. What's I know that it's twenty twenty winning? Nobody planned for this. We plan they plan to make as much money as possible by selling as much food as possible every single week and then they were basically spending all that money and investing all that money and distributing all that money. They didn't have enough money for a couple of months off. They don't have enough money for anything to go sideways. Everything has to maintain. Well that will weirdly enough. That might be something that comes out of. This is what if people in the private sector started thinking more like people in show business or Comedians. Comedians act like every day's rainy day except for a few idiots that we've seen and I remember coming up as a comedian. I I started comedy boom ended so I was very fortunate. Your nine hundred me too. Yeah Eighty Eight. Where did YOU START BOSTON? I started in. Dc In me and Dave Chapelle went up on the same night for the first time. No Shit that's wild was fourteen. I was nineteen. Why wow so that? Maybe you saw this then. At the end of the boom there were a lot of comedians. That for a time you could be not great. Make one hundred grand a year because everywhere and these guys spent money like I'm GonNa make one hundred grand a year forever like this'll be my base and then suddenly I was watching headliners getting cars code. I saw a guy get his house. Repossess I came in and goes on. Maybe had to go crash on someone's apartment because they weren't at and then I was told by a younger guy. Whatever you make half of it you don't have just save it or put it away or ten like you're making half a you're making live on that that's how you live in this business. That's very worried. Which is what I think. That's how the world should be protected. Act as if there's going to be this happy again and say for it. It's hard to be a baller like that though dude. If you WANNA be Ballin if you WANNA like blame blooding if you want to let everybody know that. Make the baller move to do that. Mandible new thing. You have to look dressed in sackcloth and have shoes made at a rope. But I'm saying dress. Nice take care of your needs not your wants your needs and then the baller move is and I'm ready of Shit goes south. Sounds like somebody has fun. What the fuck you're talking about patent day. You know the thing about Comedians is. We're all childish childish impulsive. Well sometimes the thing that makes me very successful in comedy is still be in touch with being a child and being over emotional oversensitive to things. That's where some of the best material comes for sure. Yeah and it's like you can maintain childhood childhood. Instincts are childish notions while still being a responsible adult. It is possible you can totally do both. Yes it can be done like I haven't friend and he doesn't have kids and he said to me goes. I forget sometimes that you're a dad because you're such a fucking child and I'm like yeah but I'm actually responsible father exactly I look. I still get all wound up about the new macbook releases or online don twenty. But then I'm also like Alice vegetables and chicken and now a little bit of Mac and cheese. But you got eat all those person that whatever you have your like. There's still that then you got to be. I think a lot of people end up being bad parents. Because they don't want to be on cool and being a good parent means you're Kinda cool is sometimes you to establish boundaries and it's tricky because you love them in almost a little friends but then like can. I just do something like sometimes. My daughter is as cute. Little trick. She'll ask my wife first and then she'll say no but then she come to Daddy. Daddy is a big softie and I'm like I don't see why not and then she's like dad says it's okay and then like oh. I was using it that so brilliantly where she will cause because my wife. Meredith is such a great mom but she's berry she was raised it would very responsible parents and berry not strict. Just like if I say this will happen. She's she's consistent both ways. If I'd say we're going to the beach on Saturday it will happen. I will not flake out if I also say no IPAD for a week. You're will not see that. I won't flake either way. There's always C. C. And so my you my toes. I guess so now although now she did to her well to art credit. She's done it so clumsily whenever she asked that we me hang on. Let me text mommy and I can see her face like Tamika and I'm like hey you can't do this to me you know. Are you noticing that people are through this nonsense or at least taking a little bit better care of their health or recognizing that this is? This is a real thing. They need to invest in. Have you noticed that I have noticed? I've noticed it in myself that unfortunately a lot of this. A lot of the lockdown means you got to eat a lot of processed food because it lasts longer. And you know that's how you make your your dollar stretch in a lot of ways and you see the immediate effects of not having fresh food and organic stuff in your diet very very quickly and and what. I also hope that people including me who again. Sometimes I forget my fucking privilege and you go. Oh this is how people who don't have a lot of money or forced to eat and live and maybe make things better for dam and they'll be less stress and anger and depression across the spectrum. You know one hundred percent up. Yeah I mean that's what you what you were saying before about a flex for the whole you know like we're taking care of that is that is something that's really missing in this country. In a big way is that we'll we'll spend a lot of money fixing up other places that we blown up all over the world but we'll spend no money trying to balance out Baltimore or South side of Chicago or Detroit right or we will do that. We will do it and sort of. I'm guilty of this too. We will do it. If there's a photo op and our name can be tagged it in other words. It's that saying it's why I think. A lot of political campaigns get hurt when celebrities? Try to do it so instead of celebrities using their platform they use their voice and their face. So it's like me. I this person for for that. I don't even know what they're talking about. But whatever they're talking about I don't support it. Yeah well that's the problem brightest especially if you've someone's annoying attached to this Presidential Canyon like Oh that guy. Would you like whatever I supportive people? Now I try to form and not my voice and I've been when I was at. I was at Sundance when they had the women's March the day after trump was inaugurated. I think those January twenty. I was at Sundance. I was judge on the short film panel and I begged the organizers. I was like please please. Please don't have the march here in Park City. Do not have photos of celebrities in front of the Vivienne Westwood Outlet in Park City Utah because all that is going to be fueled for the other side like amplify the marches happening in Charlotte in Tuscaloosa. Because they got all those were happening and half of the marches that got filmed. Were the ones where they were celebrities. They're trying to do like what you're doing. It drove me crazy. It really annoyed me but and also times I've been guilty of that because we're in this business because we're narcissists and show is. I wanted to be meet supporting this person whereas it should be your platform in your audience. Supporting that person. And that's a very delicate line to cross which I all the time. We're at a point now where it's like. Who who the fuck would want to be president. Right who the fuck would want that job? Even if you have some good ideas like you have to go way out on a limb to take that job so who getting you know. We're getting young apple idealistic and they get four kind of tr- Tulsi Gabbard in the like. They kind of pushed aside by the machine because they're not willing to play ball. And then you get to this ancient dinosaurs of the system like Biden and then on the other side you have trump. We have this chaotic scene. Where the economy's imploding? Everybody's fucking terrified of this new virus. China might want to go to war with us. I mean who knows what the fuck is happening with that and then we have these two to pick from like this is madness. This is the best we can do. We're we're China's main trading partner. They're not going to war with US unless we cut off trade so I think that's that's a nice paranoid thing but I don't think i. I don't think that'll happen. Would I don't think so either but it still scares? Yeah what what. He Hears. Me being hopeful. I think that we're living in his age. Now of you know like this all the time. Everything is just being broadcast all the time. And there's no such thing as like digging up a pass anymore because everyone just put their puts their life out there many. Just go digging through. Someone's twitter feed or Youtube. Mr Whatever you WANNA do. So there's this wave coming up like The Octavio. Cortez and and people like that. That are like yeah. It's all out there. I don't care about that. Here's what I WANNA do and I think generation is going to come up. That are that will go. Oh Yeah I tweeted out stupid shit when I was eighteen. Yeah I you know. When was that tweet from ten? Years Ago Doesn't count. Whatever she was being an idiot I was being like. The standards are definitely different now than they were ago. But there's a generation of April putting luminol on people's online history. That that will die out and it'll turn into if it was something horrible a week ago. Yes let's talk about that. If you dug up something someone ten years ago. Everyone's going to go. Yeah you should see this shit. I would like that will. That won't land the way that it is now. It kind of people are different. We don't we're not under the illusion anymore that these aren't real people because we want them to be presidential. We want him to be a representative. We're not under the illusion anymore that they that they're not real people. It's almost like when they had to admit the wwe was fake. It's like okay now we can just enjoy it for what it is. You don't have to have these arguments with your your friends over whether or not it's fake. Wwe that everyone keeps forgetting is yes. It's scripted but it's scripted mayhem and destruction. They are scripting out. These people these men and women going in the script. You're going to fall forty feet onto a table of glass. Yes we scripted that to happen but it's still a person doing this like there is a level of of of adrenaline. Junkie and athleticism. That goes beyond think athletics. People like Wrestling's fake yet. No Shit these. It's like when you watch your Jackie Chan Film Script. Don't to stick around for the end credits. He just got his skull knocked open. They little punched a hole through his skull doing stunt. So you're you're you're dismissing something. Your definition to fake needs to be tweaked a little bit in this case. It's another way of looking at it. It's it's definitely It's definitely scripted. It's not like they're risking it all because it they don't know what the outcome is. GonNa be it's different than an actual athletic event. But it's still pretty bad ass like as far as what they're able to do. I mean they don't get nearly enough credit for it either because while they were doing it before the the lockdown but they were doing it two hundred and fifty plus days a year traveling all over the country throwing each other on tables different time zones bad jetlag bad food great. No sleep like these people that have to be in peak physical condition under the worst conditions to maintain that and and also think of the years when the WWe was this struggling basically mom and pop operation trying to launch itself and they had even less resources than they do now but those guys were still doing that over and over and over again it's brutal and is the same way those guys. There's no money. There's the travels brutal that mic like. The amount of matches they have to do is brutal. Oh and it's all brutal ever watched the video were trump was on the wwe. Have you ever seen that? We've all seen it. Because he loves for Tweety but it's it's so strange to think that the current president used to be on the was on an episode of the WWe. He was in a match. He okay he when he pardoned Nagoya Bitch of a game show just became president and pardon one of his former contestant. Dick would read that and go. Yeah I'm getting the cancer. Hurry up and I'm done. I don't know it's so strange. It's so strange. It's so strange. My most my most conspiratorial dots are that this this and that is slowly. Bring US deeper and deeper into into the hive into the Matrix and the way they're doing. It is by disconnecting us. From each other making social distancing the norm cover your face with mask. Don't touch anything everything you're going to do. Virtually and slowly but surely it's going to lead to this new way of life where you're you're you're no longer risk by going out there and making yourself susceptible to biological nasties you're going to stay home and you're gonNa plug-in or what if the I knows that eventually it does have to unplug us and let us see there were in the protein pods. That's GonNa Freak them out. Let's make this fake reality. So fucking insane an awful. We'll have trumpy president. Have this virus that we do unplug. Oh thank God okay good fine. I'm okay with being in the protein pod. Good like actually they're making. It will be happy when we're shown that we're living in writing as land is order in the universe and it's not just completely ridiculous. I mean I've had those arguments with people about there's A. There's a very strong case to be made a for Cyprus character in the matrix like know. Plug me the fuck back into this one. So I'm nude with no muscles atrophied muscles airless in a jagged wasteland of radioactive slag or I could be in this world where I have a nice job and I eat a steak and marry someone just living this. I'm fine with it like Morpheus fucking you helping dragging it that the machines are trying to kill us just like look you guys and watch with by the way the machines like you guys fucked up the earth. We're doing the best we can for you guys. We could've just let you all died in the wasteland but instead we found a way so that you can have like. The machines are doing anything nefarious. Right right they're just letting you have a better existence than you real one and it's indistinguishable it's also feels. It feels better it actually. Does people always miss that line? Were Smith says you know what we I did the Matrix it was just flat out erronous and you guys couldn't handle that in. You rejected it like we literally had you. Where probably the first version of the Matrix? Everybody could fly and orgasms lasted three months. And you could just eat all the chocolate you wanted like no no and then. I want to God damn cubicle. I guess they want Cuba fine. Give them that I. We tried to be nice. But I think we evolved. We human beings evolved with this need to overcome adversity. We evolved with this. That's why we like puzzles. I mean we're just sitting around bored. Would we do get the family gets together? And you play puzzles. You Play Games. He try to solve things figure things because I think it's still in our in a or in our DNA that the ones who thrived were the ones who solved puzzles and push against adversity. When you don't have that you have a memory of dying if you don't do that do crave that we need to have that a little bit or we go. That's why I think a lot of the people that are out protesting the other protested. Because I don't have might have a job. I need money right now but also like what you were saying earlier. Let me decide to take a risk like like we will. There's a part of us that will push against that even if it's deadly and even if it selfish because it's part of what made our species we took the going. GonNa flop out on land able there's predators out there is gonNA push we're also deeply distrustful of people who tell us what to do because we know that when people have the power to tell you what to do when they didn't have that power before and that's what's going on right now in the state there's new power right. The governor has the power to shut businesses down. The mayor has the power to shut everything down when people get into that position power. No we don't ever want to think that and we want to all of all of the reasons why they do. Things are altruistic. They're great people. But there's just human instincts just like the human need to sort of overcome adversity. There's a real human instinct to control people. I mean it's the reason why cults exists the reason why we're very very careful in how we give out power and we're going to situate like even the the mayor phrased it something like if we all wear masks. This is the way we can get back some of our freedoms like I don't know who the FUCK HIS PR guy is. But he man. That's the worst thing you could say. You don't have power over. The GENERAL POPULATIONS FREEDOMS. That's not in your fucking job description so when you say shit like that we can get back. Some of our freedoms people are naturally going to get very upset because it puts them in like. Oh I've seen this before. I know what this is now. There's a person who's got power over me and so that's part of what these protests are. It's not just simply like I want to be selfish. I WANNA put my grandma at risk because I want to be able to make a living again and I'd rather have the old people die off. Then lose my business. It's also I don't like you telling me what to do because I don't think you're any different than me. I think you're just a person and a person that has power and new power like the power to tell people you can or can't do something that's a very tricky position but it's so weird. How are the kinds of statements that we push back on and yet there are other more blatantly controlling statements that we will absolutely except if you would look at some of the stuff that trump says to his audience basically mocking them like holding up a Bible going boy? You people sure love this like you would think they would go. I think he's making fun of US. But they're just like yeah. It's like it's just weird. How what one person will push against. You would think that. That's a critical thinker. But then they'll turn around and blindly accept something else like wait a minute you were so rightfully suspicious and cautious about that statement and yet that one got no review from you and you just want A. I don't know what you're talking about in particular because I I didn't see trump do that but the thing about him like mocking a Bible even if it's offensive. It doesn't stop people from doing anything. What this these orders. Are there stopping people from making a living and it's never happened before it's not stopping anyone from doing anything but the way that he held it up the way he said it? Is this thing that you believe. I really don't believe it and I'm just going to use you to get the power that I've never seen that it was at one of his rallies and he was like and again. It was his way of going. Isn't the Bible Great? But he was saying or you sure love this like the undercurrent was carrying me. All I gotta do. Is this thing up in your mind. Like barely from hiding and it was like you talk about bad. Pr Like such clumsy statecraft. They're like why are you doing that? Well it's more confusing than that is some of the other bad PR. He's gotten away with like the stuff that said about McCain and he said I prefer my soldiers that don't get caught like dealing say something like data better soldiers that don't get caught. I prefer my heroes to not be like something it would end the political career on the spot ended and how about the other family of the soldier that had died and there. He had been in some sort of a dispute with the family and openly dismissive about that situation. Yes I would fascinate when they ask because father went up and said what have you sacrificed? And then the interviewer was talking to trump. And wasn't returned anything. Gotcha dislike what HAP. How do you answer that? Like what dis and he like his brain. Fritz doubt he couldn't phrase it in a way of I've built great buildings made. I've been very successful. I've made a lot of money in like that. That's the closest that he could get to embracing the idea or the concept of sacrifice. Nuts an alien concept what he literally doesn't understand what but it was like maybe part of the reason that April keep them around requested. Siri Siri you're listening to everything. Nosey Bitch we're not talking about you. Listen I'm just. I'm just promoting my album on Joe Rogan. What what you are here to promote. Something tells about it. Well let me really quick. Good feel like one of the reasons that trump has been able to stick around an office and he's going to have a full term and maybe have a second. One is as horrible as it is. It is it is a fascinating psychological. Study of a soul in torment. We get to watch for free every week when he gives an interview or does a rally. There's some will you get to go back and watch this thing like I gotta go. Look at this thing again. This all can be avoided if he had a coach link legitimately. It's look it's all bullshit right like someone's D you're basically representing bankers. And you're you know you got a bunch of special interest tugging at you and you've got your agenda but the way he interacts with the press like. He needs to be coached if he had a coach. Like someone. Who's like very socially Astute. Maybe even a comic someone who can say. Look man you gotTa show some humility that you can't get a joke across if you're like there's a few guys can get a job across their cocky liked dice clay or someone along. Yeah Jazz Lynette can do it thought. Brilliant but you better have some really fucking tight writing yet attacked. His writing is tight tight riding. Not a single wasted letter in those no wasted. Space Really Brilliant. Brilliant brilliant pausing timing trump would never accept a coach that that's not in his nature like no. No I got this. That's why he was like I'm going to do these. Corona virus press conferences every day. And then he was going to and then he realized wait he's on TV. And I'm not out of the way many. That's why he was going out there. Gambling about whatever. Jackie disaffected fair to like. Get to stop doing because like we're trying to get a story about Biden gets traction and you keep making all the air out of the news. We need to sit down for a couple of days. And it's it's you know. Everybody needs a coach. Everybody does he could use a coach he could use someone just someone who just explained like this is where you trip trip on. Your Dick. Have you. Just don't do that. Look you already have all these people that are on your side no matter what. And he's publicly. Said I could go shoot someone in the street and you know X. amount of people would vote for me no matter what and he's right he's right when he would shoot someone in the street you would. The spin would begin before the body hit the ground. We didn't know if that was our maybe he was and then then they would fill the air with verbal. Ever get to the truth fright trying to drive through smoke. I don't know where the fuck I'm going. I'm suddenly lost. I just watched the guy shoot a guy making twenty other thing. Yeah it's it's a weird time man but it's it's it's an opportunity not looking at this. Yeah let's look positive side because look it's it's negative for a lot of people particularly people that have lost people and people that have lost their own health. But there's an opportunity for us that haven't to restructure in just rethink this thing and recognize what it really is because he just run around with momentum thinking well I'm in the business and I gotTa do this and I got to do that. And Hey this is what I do and you know maybe not like I haven't been on the road in two fucking months and me is like boy. I feel really healthy. You know I feel like as good as I've ever felt like steady. It's like the same every day. There's not these big ups and downs when I come on Sunday and I fucking crash and I try to get back to the things on Monday. It's like you're taking them. West way less damage to your body also spend more time with my family being around walk. Just walk into the neighborhood and when you don't have to go anywhere sometimes you just enjoy the moment. Enjoy the moment of being alive. A human being in twenty twenty and being one of the fortunate ones. It isn't sick. Yeah and maybe look at the idea that everything doesn't have to be constant growth. You're allowed ups and downs. The only thing that actually follows the idea of constant growth is cancer is not a good thing. Only does that answer in a way. We're feeling the effects of this. Don't that can economic form of cancer every quarter to be bigger bigger bigger bigger bigger. And now here we are. I know. Isn't that insane? Like if you have a business that makes the same amount of money every year. It's a fucking failure even. If it's a Lotta money I know it's such ridiculous way to approach anything. But the fact that that's the core thing that structures our society is economics. It's the the one of the most important values the most important factors and what we do. That's the reason why we get up all fucking day and we work all day from nine to five plus over the whole reason for that is economics. And it's all structured in this weird way where these companies are supposed to somehow or another make more money every year. It's it yeah I mean again. I think automatic medium because COMEDIANS. We can actually embrace that. You're going to have some off years. It's not it can't be with all the time some years you're GONNA do. You'll do Carnegie Hall. And then then you're going to work the clubs for a little while. And then you'll be on an upswing again like this long enough it's up and down and up and down but the whole thing is on could you. Do you like do a lot of this corporate stuff. It's all. There's no joy it's just as death. Rick Dees moving forward consuming. Everything Dan just boats and explodes. It's also great about our business. You put out specials and then you become a beginner again. That's so valuable. I feel like such a fraud every two years. I get to the point where I feel like. I'm a killer and then right afterward I'm a fraud. I Have A fucking flimsy act for months for three four months it's garbage and I'm out there slinging it at the store trying to piece things together China exactly again. My special drops tomorrow on Netflix. And after tomorrow I have a blank notebook. Onstage it'll be like you when we see each other at the comedy store seven to ten minute chunks. Just I don't I guess Shit. I thought this was going to be something folks. I'm sorry and you and you feel like you said you feel like an asshole if you go back to your old stuff. 'cause you're like we've seen that shit? Why don't make us pay to watch that again? So you know the process you know you can do it. You've done it before you know you could. There's sometimes where I honestly in the first couple of weeks especially after a special my boy I might hit the fucking bottom of the well. I might not have anything left. There's been especially after the last one annihilation. It was like. Maybe I'm done doing. Standup stand up anymore. And then somehow this thing happened but there's always that feeling of blake maybe it's time to retire and then you get the edge because it was always there see myself dying like George Carlin in a hotel room in vegas somewhere in between shows. I don't think I'M GONNA quit. It's too much fun. I miss it so much. He stuck with it. That guy had crazy highs and crazy lows he had all the highs of like you know occupation fool class clown then him in the Eighties Warner Theater. And he kind of flailing a little bit like his way and then he he was trying up. These new concepts some worked. Some didn't ended with seven dirty words. Because I got my show. Then he came roaring back with that The one about the earth The Earth is not dying we are you know that because I think he thought maybe I'm done maybe I'm a relic. And no he stuck with it and then he came roaring back. And you can always do that. I got a chance to see him. In Hampton Beach Casino in New Hampshire. Yeah when I was a I mean I think I was twenty something like that twenty or twenty one and I took my roommates to see him any bombed. It was a weird time for his career. It was one of those weird moments where he had this routine that he was working on. Where you basically say fuck everything who would say fuck Israel and FUCK COMEDY CLUBS? He here this list of things that he was saying. Fuck too but I think was going through a lot of weird stuff in his life then. There was some substance issues that he had had money. Problems the IRS owing too much money to the IRS. There was a lot of shit that was going on in his life at those times and also. I think that he was a little freaked out by you. Know he had opened the door and prior especially in terms of language and subject matter and now. Here's like Sam Kennison and enter clay coming along and Chris rock that are pushing it even further in both good and bad ways. And he's like do. I even fucking Blake. They need me like like. I think there was a couple years where he felt like am. I John Wayne at the end of the searchers. I've rescued everyone and I've helped progress the world that I don't belong in the world and then I'm just gonNA walk away into the desert. There's always that open up like sometimes your bravery helps bring about a world that ironically you don't belong anymore and it's a weird. I mean I feel like that's what happened to Joan rivers at the end of her career. She broke so many goddamn barriers are women and talking about certain subject matter and then at the end of a career she suddenly saw Oliver Stuff get par St- by this new generation. That's like this this generation that's attacking her partner stuff. You're enjoying the freedoms you're enjoying partially because of the shit that she did. He doubt our wire. You could run across it. And then pointed her for not using the correct language nine mainly. Yeah Yeah not just not the correct language deciding what she can and can't joke about and I love the fact that to her dying day. She didn't balk she was like. I'm not apologizing for Shit. This is what I do. I Make Fun of things and I'm GonNa Make Fun of you and I make fun of me and I make fun of my family. Fuck you and she held onto her guns forever forever. She never never let it go. Never let it go. Never shifted fearless will. Happen will happen to all of us. At some point there will be another wave of podcasters. That won't understand the stuff that you and man and people like that did podcasting wise and will do it and look back at you guys like what are you even talking about the reason you're doing what you're doing this because of the chip that we laid down like the it'll happen to me as a comedian. It's happened to filmmakers everyone's shooting. Martin Scorsese for going not a fan of the marvel films in he was he never said. Don't go see them. They're not for me like you. You wouldn't have your if score. Says he hadn't done his movies. All these are what made the guys who direct your movies. You like go. I want to do that right. You get to be eager to have any fucking opinion. He wants well. An- often also what's wrong with not liking certain things like I have very good friends. Who like things that? I think are terrible. Still like you're allowed that if you don't like I have friends who hate marvel comic movies. I fucking love them. I'm yeah of Comic Book Movies and I have friends like I'm not watching that stupid shit. That guy's definitely gonNA live. Nothing's going to happen. He's the hero like this man. I get it. I understand how you feel a certain way but the other thing about film to think about a guy like Scorsese where he needs to be put in much a much better perspective. Is that when you think about some of the stuff that he did and like the seventies movies had only been around for like real movies for like forty years? King Kong like the thirties and then forty years. Later you're talking about some of those scorsese movies or the Coppola Apocalypse. Now like think about how crazy that movie is when you really stop and think about when it was actually created and how what does a short time films had even been made like that and how the execution of it is. It's like when I when I hosted the independent spirit awards the year. I hosted it in two thousand fourteen. It was the fiftieth anniversary of John. Waters First Film. Which maybe he was nature in Baltimore. It's called Hashtag black leather jacket. And it's about an interracial wedding being cited by clansman. It's a clansman marrying a interracial. He his errant proof in Baltimore in the sixties. And I told you. This is the fiftieth anniversary of John Waters. I film any of you guys are like. Are we pushing too far? Are we going to? He's already done all that work for you. Fucking go for it. He was an openly gay teenager in one thousand nine hundred eighty s Baltimore shooting an interracial betting on his parents roof with a clansman during the ceremony. Do whatever you want. It's okay so perfect. Yeah so beautiful. Yeah but getting back to what you were saying. In the reason it's where you brought up I have friends who love stuff that I hate but I don't give it. The reason why specialists called I love. Everything is when you get to age fifty. There's still something annoys you and stuff you don't like but I know where this is right. I know why he's acting that way or I I don't I'm not a fan of Donald Trump. I think he's fucking horrible but I also know about his childhood and how he was raised and I know why he is the way he is. He grew up in a monster factory. Silly well run monster factory and it made an incredible monster like I know why he is the way he is. So you can only go so like hatred is a luxury for you. When you're young you can go. This is both it and then you get to fifty like it's not for me but I don't care okay. Fine what I also think it. Is I talk about this often. You have children you have child. I have daughters and when I think of people now think of them as babies that grew up and when I was younger I used to think if I knew you now I know I think patent is always been this patent but now I can see because I've seen little babies become little people and I go. Oh okay you just got terrible input terrible feedback bad epigenetics lot of shit wrong here. You're a victim of circumstance as much as you. Are you know being an asshole? You're actually you're the reason why your Aso's your victim the case in a lot of a lot of times and sometimes people can become an asshole. Y- obviously some people can become an asshole because trump had a lifetime of systematic abuse but also people can become horrible for from having one bad day bad day. Sent you the wrong direction. Yeah so you But it's not so you get older where you've suffer all those blows and setbacks and reversal of fortune that you go okay. Let's maybe give someone a little bit of breathing room? Yes even if they're being horrible think about why they're being doing this. You know that's just how it is. Also it's also. It's not beneficial to anybody to be confrontational and to be angry about things all the time even though it seems fun when you're young as you get older you realize it's a terrible way of using your resources and it also doesn't create any harmony it just makes the people on the other side fightback harder like there's no middle ground given there's no compromise. There's no forgiveness. There's no equanimity. There's no there's no moment where you feel like this is a human being and I'm a human being and I make mistakes and they make mistakes and let's figure out how we could be nicer to each other. I mean that's what everybody would like. Everybody was like fucking hardest thing to do. And you'RE GONNA fail a Lotta time trump because otherwise the only other option is the person who's pissing you off actually wins and takes over space in your mind and stop doing this shit. You need to do if you're living. Then centered life or respect centered life than that runs you. That other person runs your life and think of all the jokes albums and movies or whatever you were going to do that. You never did as you were focused on them. That's really common you know. And there's a lot of people that are doing that with trump. There's a lot of people that are follow on twitter while just go there twitter feed. It's just just railing about trump all day and I wanna go over their house and you can't anymore but hug them and go. Hey Man gotTa Stop Paying Attention. To this like your. How much time do you have in a day? How much time is spent on things you hate and how much time is spent on things you love. You need to figure out a way to shift that for me. Hating trump is become like a glass of wine. I indulged in it. Enjoyed it when he does something really crazy and also every now and every now and then you need to check any go just wondering why did this isn't normal. This shouldn't be happening. Let's not get used to this. But then also yeah. I promoted that people stuff. I signal boost other comedians. I re tweet really funny tweet. Lake that has to be fun. Because you're right there are. There are people that I love. Ooh twitter feeds have just evolved into book. Yes yeah I have a bit about am. I don't have any trump jokes because he's made comedians obsolete. How do you write a joke? Funnier than this shit. He's doing in front of us. You know it's like he's doing this great and you look. You WanNa hear a joke. I wrote about this. Everyone's like no. I'm just I'm watching this. I'm good all the things to it's the Tan in the air in the madness not willing to admit these ever wrong. It's like Jesus Christ. This is someone Rick Joke. Today was a little graphic but it is true. You know he won't wear a mask. Yeah it'll rub the makeup raw. Oh Yeah for sure. He can't put a mask on because it takes it off. Have this weird. And he knows he can't do it. I bet on the first day he tried to do it when I know we can't do it well. Why didn't pence where in that that one time when everybody was wearing at the Mayo Clinic and he didn't I feel like Trump Belida? My late trump was like you're not going to go out there and a mask made me look like no era by. Would it be nice if there was someone who's running for President? That really made sense someone who you like. Yes like this okay. This this guy's alright or she's the best we can get behind her. This is it got one. We have a person who's moral and ethical though flawed their hearts in the right place. We can do like a weirdly enough. That's now what the trump line is is no is bane. He is me but he gets shit. Done guys this. Isn't the movie Pitch Black? And he's not riddick we don't need you know I'm voting by the way now I'm broke the I think I think Biden is a little see now. You know what I'm voting for. I'm going for his cabinet voting for the team. He's going to bring it. I could give a fuck about him. He might not even survive. I mean he looked so bad but all trump does is. It's just it's just Griffin's around him and they Whatever money they can both. That's all there. There's no plan. There's no team voice also big Alpha right so he needs everybody to kind of kiss his ass and teams like the true big. I'll never has to say he's the big. He's Paulie and Goodfellas all. We never moved him because he didn't have to move past us. New Trump has E. L. ING people whenever a comedian tells you how dangerous engineer like. He's not he's not edgier date rite aid. That was going to say nonsense. Heard before. Yeah like David. Tell never tells the audience hang on. But that's just how he thinks exactly which makes times edgier now mypillow lamest thing. Comedians do is tell you they're edgy. I see that all the time I there was a guy who would go on stage and he would sit backwards in a charity would go. Welcome to the inside of my. That man needs some mushrooms. Oh so bad that you need to wake up after it's over and go. Oh my God I gotTa Change Everything who am I? I'm so glad for all the LSD trips. I took back in the nineties. Because they you come out of and just go to go. Oh yeah okay. Maybe I need to like just anything to shrink yourself in the universe. Be Making more secure with like. Oh this is actually vast and I'm tiny in it knowing how tiny you are actually gives you more strength and freedom. 'cause you're like if everything? I do is insignificant than I can do anything. Like if it's ultimately all crumbles just do whatever you want will sometimes when I get really high I feel real vulnerable. Feel like there's almost like there's magic in the world whereas like when I'm sober. Everything seems sort of the standard. Everything's just as it always is. I'm accustomed to all these paths and I'm accustomed to getting in my car and driving soot high. The whole thing is magic. It's like this is madness. This whole thing is crazy and there's possibility yes too many red and bad possibilities but there that's what I like. That's when people say they pop makes him paranoid. I'm like my favorite part. 'cause THAT PARANOIA. I need it for me. It's giant. It helps me a lot. It really does. It's it's responsible for a lot of activity you know like some people say that it makes you lazy like it's not. I'm not getting lazy. I'm getting I'm gay scared and then because then I go I go gotta go do something. Yeah it was. I remember Harlan. Ellison who was very anti-drug very anti drink but it was putting together an anthology and he had illiterate Dick Story. Faith of our fathers in it. It was like I've never advocated the use of psychedelics or drugs but my God if I could write on this level maybe I totally gobble them. Because he's he's operating on a different level rate now. Well I think people are scared of him because for rightly so because we've all heard stories of people losing everything lose their mind you know. We're we're talking Yesterday about this. This o'farrell theatre signed that Hunter S. Thompson had given this couple on their wedding anniversary or their their wedding day. He stole from from San Francisco. He stole this Gary Street in. He stole the sign outside and it was a sign that said well. You know if you are scared of sex acts or whatever it's on the Guy I follow on instagram the Jacka understand underscore lope and he's a hunter S. Thompson enthusiasts. And he posted this. The hunter gave it to this couple along with twenty hits of acid and the woman of took all the acid and was immediately checked into a mental institution and never got out so on the day of their wedding hunter. S. Thompson ruined. There's there's the photo I don't know if you could see they can see there. Yeah there you go. Yeah so but the story is so quick. Screw the story Jimmy on the. Yeah so you can see where it said gave it to his friend. Along with twenty hits of acid as a wedding gift the bride took the acid was committed to a mental institution. Never came back. Oh by the way. Look I'm I am very for people if he wanted to experiment with psychedelics. But I'm also very four. Set the correct stage for it. Also don't take all twenty you fucking crazy bitch. They'll take one five one the wood where it goes but also even if you knew one. Don't you would on the roof of a building with Tom? Petty's free falling playing on a boom hamic somewhere time I did. Acid was the night that Bill Clinton won the presidency. This is ninety two and I was in Matt. Wine holds apartment in San Francisco and that wind hold and his roommate this illustrator named Derek Robertson. Barbara Illustrator Great Comic Book Guy. Trans Metropolitan illustrated else sprint metropolitan. And the boys regard tennis owned every action figure in the world. They may have them all on little shows. Walls were nothing but action figures. I'm sitting there. And you know the the pattern table started to melt and move a little bit and then that would maximum. Don't start thinking about to member. They're all dancing on stage. Yes or as mcclinton. I looked over at the wall and the figures want going crazy but as the music played they were all just kind of subtly. Just Kinda bounced like they were in line outside of sound check just listening music and it. It gives me this thing of such APP salute like Oh like everything in the world is like bouncing to a better beat right now. It felt it was A. I'm take gigawatts deep on that note that is that's a good. Not Don. Isn't it well you have to get to right. You got something else going on at two see. Oh that's a good ended. Tell everybody your special the name. I love everything at it. Tomorrow I ll everything on Net flicks on watch. This has nothing to do with me. Doug Stanhope Special also drops tomorrow which I wanted to include is on this as well. I think it's on Demio okay. Beautiful dropping a special in this day and I wanted to give them a plug. Oh well you're awesome. I love that guy to I'll contact him. I'll get that out there so thank you next time I see you. I hope I see you in person. I don't I don't WanNa be looking at you through screen. Stay healthy because there's so much I wanNA talk to you about and there's some books I wanNA give you all right man. Well thank you my friend. Good luck special appreciate you thanks bye bye. Thank you friends for tune into the show and thank you to policy. Genius Policy Genus Compares quotes from top life insurance companies in one place takes just a few minutes to compare the quotes from top insurers to find your best price and they'll save you. Cheddar and plus. You'll have that thing taking care of the thing that's hovering over the back of your head so if you're one of the many people looking to buy life insurance right now but you're not sure where to start head to policy genius dot. Com policy genes will find you the best rate and they'll handle the process completely that's policy genius dot com. Were also brought to you by simply safe home security that makes sense award winning home security that you could set up yourself you just order online. Set IT UP YOURSELF. An under an hour and your home is protected. Twenty four seven with emergency dispatch for break INS. Fire and more all for just fifty cents a day and right now when you head to simplisafe dot com slash rogan listeners. This podcast will get a free simplisafe security camera. That's simplisave dot com slash Rogan. Go there make sure they know we set you simply safe dot com slash rogan and from simply safe and all of us. Here we are wishing you safety and good health. We're also brought to you by squarespace the host of my website. And a place where you're going to build your next website. Please try this. I've sent so many people to squarespace it. Is that good and they want you to try it. So they're going to let you try it for free for a free trial go to squarespace DOT COM Joe. And then when you're ready to launch us the offer code Joe and you'll save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain. It is really truly incredible. Service at squarespace go to squarespace dot com slash. Joe Get that free trial. I'm telling you once you set that website up like this my website. Yes that's your website. Use the offer code. Joe Save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain. And we're brought to you by the mother fuck in cash. The cash APP the best got damn financial application. The world has ever known. Download the cash APP from the APP store or the Google play store today and when you do download the cash up. Make sure you use the referral code. Joe Rogan. You will receive ten dollars and the cash. App will send ten dollars to our good friend. Just Rennes fight for the forgotten. Charity Building Wells for the pygmies in the Congo. Thank you thanks. Everybody for tuning in much love to you. All and bye-bye.

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Patton Oswalt | Trump and Fox Try to Distract from the DNC: A Closer Look

Late Night with Seth Meyers Podcast

21:23 min | 5 months ago

Patton Oswalt | Trump and Fox Try to Distract from the DNC: A Closer Look

"Hi I'm Seth Meyers. Please check out the official PODCAST FOR AP bio on peacock are two fantastic hosts any lady and Syria Rambo chat with guests like ap Bio Creator Mike O'Brien and Patton oswalt to get behind the scenes, anecdotes, audition stories, and much more listening subscribe to ap bio the podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. During an event yesterday commemorating the one hundredth anniversary of the women's right to vote president trump attacked former first lady Michelle Obama and said, she was quote in over her head. I don't know about that. She went to Harvard Law. She could easily be the next president if she wanted to and instead she just produces shows for Netflix's if anything she's in way way under her head. Recorded from locations that are not Thirty Rockefeller Plaza please enjoy this podcast edition of late night with Seth. Meyers, on today's show, Sept? Chaz with Comedian Patton oswalt but I closer look. The President Fox. News desperately trying to distract from the Democratic National Convention for more on this. It's time for a closer look. Donald Trump has been trying to counter program the DNC with his own campaign events and look whatever you want to say about trump like he's an incompetent grafting sociopathic golf ogre at least he's also a terrible campaigner. He's been trying to win over voters. He condescendingly refers to as suburban housewives with some bald face racism and Wisconsin on Monday. He took another shot wooing key voting bloc by continuing to insult them but this is the future the Joe Biden plans to bring. Every city town and suburb in our nation, and you know for those suburbs I, keep hearing about suburban women. I made the. Well, you know. In one speech recently, I call you suburban housewives and they all love did. Sorry I don't know if that's politically correct I said don't worry about it. They'll get over it. Right? He's a political mastermind folk. Some people think he's playing three dimensional chess but I think he's playing shoots and ladders all shoot sedition I hope the trump campaign is already printing up their new lawn signs trump twenty twenty you'll get over it. It's amazing. Even insults voter he's trying to win over he can't help himself and which. With evangelical are these guys we're to what I made of Jesus is. A Little Gregor way were they don't need Jesus. Or they'll get over it. And then trump wine that because he was investigated for Russian collusion he he should get a third term. We're going to win the state of Wisconsin and we are going to win four more years. And then after that, we'll go for another four years because. You know what they spied on my campaign. We should get a Redo of for you. You're still on that man when it comes to get over it, he is no suburban housewife and even when he's pretending to be a politician, he can't shake is loan shark, DNA the interest is one hundred percent but let's make a two hundred percent because I saw you looking at girlfriend how about that? The only Redo anyone is getting? Is US listening to you bitch about an election you one but yeah, I'm sure he'll be laid back and cool. If he loses I may be terrible winner Joe but I'm an exception loser congratulations. President Biden in fact, a day after trump wind about the Russia. Probe we got definitive evidence that his campaign did collude with Russian intelligence from a Republican led a Republican led Senate. Intelligence Committee a newly released centerpoint. Natalie. Raising more red flags about the relationship between the two thousand sixteen trump campaign and Russia according to the Senate Intelligence Committee former campaign chairman Paul Manafort employed a Russian intelligence officer named Constantine Kalinic, and Breathe Kalinic on the campaign strategy for beating Hillary Clinton. Report also says Manafort might have had a connection to Russian hack and leak operations. Right. The Russian investigation is back baby. Remember that whole plotline from a few seasons ago we all got to know and love crazy characters like Paul, Manafort, Felix Seder Constant Tin Kalinic George Popadopoulos and Sam Clovis. You remember Hogan's heroes. Well, they're back in the news. Now that Senate Intelligence Committee has released the final volume of its Russia report with the shocking finding the. Trump campaign manager Paul manafort shared internal campaign polling data with the Russian intelligence officer who may well have been involved in the hacking. This is as definitive as it gets collusion happened in the worst part is no one cares because old news it's like finding out now that the characters on lost really did die in the plane crash. Huh. So the island was purgatory. Also, just want to say to the Senate and Robert Muller and everyone everyone else involved in the Russian investigation way too slow walk in Fellas couldn't have released definitive proof of a criminal conspiracy to cheat in the two thousand sixteen election before trump botched deadly pandemic the left the nation in ruins I can't wait until August twenty, twenty, two in the Senate announces the Yes trump did burn all the mail in ballots from blue. States the day before the election trump cheated in two thousand sixteen just think he's trying to cheat. Now this time trying to subvert mail in voting, sow chaos and confusion. Once again, for example, here repeated a bunch of insane lies about non existent voter fraud. Go with this universal mail and we send millions of votes in California tens of millions of dollars being sent to everybody and their dogs. Ok Dogs are getting I'm okay. People that have been dead for twenty five years getting you up to see what's happening. Then you're never going to have a fair election day this you'd Never GonNa, have a fair election and it's worse than you think people because one dog vote I don't need to tell you. Counts as much as seven human votes. Also, you're complaining about people who've been dead for twenty five years getting balanced look I, don't like them either but rudy has just as much of a right to vote as anyone else I vote for more soup and does he really think dogs are getting balanced? How does he think that works like you? You'd get an envelope a your house from your local board of elections address arresting. And you'd go inside you say rusty Rusty Buddy. You got some mail and then he'd come over and just put it in his mouth. Then he would take it into the kitchen sit down, grab a pen filled out Stan but with his palm, then he would put it back in the mail I guess and and then it gets to the county registrar and they take a look at it and they check rusty's name to. The name and the registration and they say, Oh, looks good to me, and then rusty gets on the phone and calls Joe Biden says, it's done and then Joe, Biden's is good boy just as it wasn't two thousand sixteen trump's strategy twenty twenty, it's not to win the most votes but to cheat Democrats meanwhile have been focused on their own convention. There've been some memorable moments from Bernie speech in front of the National Strategic Firewood Reserve to Michelle Obama's powerful address to the guy from Rhode Island apparently holding A. Plate, of Calamari, hostage give us the money. You'll never see this plate of fried squid again, although I have to ask what was the obsessive focus on Republicans about I mean who cares what Meg Whitman, John Casick thing you do know they can't even get Republicans to listen to them right case speech looked like a commercial for td Ameritrade down this path is a lifetime of debt down this path is the secure retirement outside of that. The Convention is feature inspiring stories of activists everyday American's essential workers, some of. The party's most talented rising stars. So Fox News was desperate to counter program at. Here's what Sean Hannity told his viewers last night it was boring. It was awkward. It was disjointed. All you got was a temper tantrum bumper sticker slogans about pretty much how much they hate donald trump and behind the hatred of him as a hatred of we smelly Walmart Shopper Trump supporters. Oh, WE SEAN sue you're one the so-called smelly walmart shoppers when you're done with your million dollar Cable News Gig Manhattan. I'm sure you're swinging. By the local Walmart to pick up some grass seed in hair wax Mason Kyle Busch Pajamas for the kids. Please if you're driver accidentally went by Walmart, you'd be screaming at him lock the doors also, no one called them that you call them that if anything you just revealed what you think of trump's supporters smelly Walmart shopping trump supporters and I made trump supporters just think all right there rank probably because they're stupid gave a trump supporter a bar soap they cut it in half and put it on their toast. smelly stupid trump supporters. That's us. These guys are such cheesy scam artists. Their whole shtick is pretending to be every man populists when in reality they're trying to use you as cannon fodder to rev up the economy while they safely ensconced in the White House or their studios with their million dollar contracts. Meanwhile, there is trailing badly in the polls loses we'll just have to tell them to get over it right. This has been. A closer look. You know those mornings when you feel like you just can't get it right over slapped caught in traffic coffee spilled on your crisp white shirt. It can be hard out there but you know what? L. Transform your morning Dave's killer bread. Dave's hardy lineup of morning makers, organic bread bagels and English Muffins are here to revive your day and fix all the things and it all tastes real good. Never skip on dkb a guaranteed fresh start visit Dave's killer bread dot Com to learn more and look for Dave's killer bread in the bread aisle of your local grocery store. Our guest is an Emmy Award winning comedian you knew from his work and. The King of Queens and VP STARS AP bio, the Third Season Premiere September third on Peacock here's my conversation with our friend Patton oswalt while the maximum show Patton. Thanks for having me back seth. It's sugar to be back. you joy very elite club of people who have managed to be on the show twice since we left the studio. Wow that. Is. An honor true story I believe it's you and Kamala. Harris. So. Normal for. Something like that will be icebreaker for ever get to meet her. Yeah you hit both attic show the captain's quarters show so. So, well then. Thank. You thank you for for your loyalty and friendship in these times of need on I. Want You want something else? You're wonderful standup special was nominated for best writing. For Variety special guess category we are both nominated in the same category I. Was GonNa say who else was nominated for best writing own gun lobby baby. Yeah. So hilarious and and again that that the I remember the first time I heard the whole lobby baby story that amaze like you could turn that into like a one man show or young who? That is one hysterical story in Nate, a group of other hysterical stories that you have that special I so needed the the goofiness in silliness and sweetness of that. So thank you. I think the best thing child can do is give you an experience that you as a comedian monetize and that that's right. Your your your baby has a an emmy nominated special named and yeah, you did something really cool. I we were talking before this started I a house I fifth grade today. Yes. and You did a very cool dad thing for her you got her skateboard lessons from perhaps the best. Gerson. You could possibly get skateboard lessons route. Yes. Her I skateboard lesson was would Tony Hawk. It's not this is not me Having the resources and access he we follow each other on instagram and twitter and he deemed me and said I you know my wife and I have been watching the documentary on be gone in the dark really really love it, and if your if your daughter would like some skateboard equipment I love send stuff and then I. Said you know I'm Gonna I'm gonNA take an enrolled the dice on being a jerk I said Look Tony Absolutely. She would love that because she really does want escape board she's wanting escape But is there any way I will bring her to? You can get skateboarding lesson from you and he was like, Oh my God. That'd be great and we he has a warehouse in San Diego, the half pipes and him in Andy McDonald another legend. Were just teaching her in showing her skate stuff. You could see like they were showing her basic stuff and then they would do crazy happens. Any McDonald did a flip in the air? In the League the top did a flipped managed to get his feedback on his skateboard in land back it was. It was insane. I think the other thing that's incredible hearing that story is you realise How few people were the best in their field when we were young that still are to leg now like four generations. Immune it's crazy but you know the fact that Alex would be excited about Tony Hawk, the same way that I would end when I was alice's age is just pleasures our APPS, the Tony Hawk's longevity, and the fact that he's fifty and is doing tricks that the teams can't do it was it was ridiculous the he looked like CGI thing for a while. Didn't really look like it was real. It was a you. You mentioned that he reached out about the documentary I'll be gone in the dark, which is about your late wife's Michelle's. Sort of efforts to. Find a reveal the golden state killer. There was a crazy bit of circumstance back in Studio I guess a year ago now where you were on show to promote your works and that morning of the Golden State killer was arrested which was an incredibly surreal thing, and now I'm assuming this is extra surreal. Of there being documentary that is obviously documenting some big. You lived through. have. You been able to engage with the material or or is it too painful? I've only been able to watch the first four episodes me and I had to watch the rough when we were making them an episode four, I call up Liz Garbis, the director and I just said I cannot. I can't do this I can't watch anymore I. Hope You understand it. She goes. I, totally get it. Don't worry about it. You don't have to. Do this. My. My wife and daughter went out front take their for fifteen. And now they locked themselves out. Can you give me a second? I'm going to let them in there. Literally feet away. Don't it this out. Bill. Was a I mean I'm really happy that you got the cartoon doorbell sound I swear to God. I have not heard that actual doorbells since a looney tunes cartoon. Fully, allegations down your doorbell scale. Chat. Okay. Let me just feet to what perfect of comedy it is that we were talking about very real, very traumatic thing, and then the puncturing of that was the longest doorbell ever heard anything you and I can appreciate that was Sometimes life is perfect. A tiny could not have been more perfectly time to burst at. Off. I I do it must be special to know you know. I feel like there's been A. There's these waves of appreciation for what? Michelle Don Right. Like there was a the book and the arrest, and now you know just incredible documentary that tells the story It must be special to know that people will continue to have this appreciation for how she spent her her her time on this earth. Yet I mean it. It's also really important that that Liz garbage made a documentary that will live on as this is the kind of focus these things should have, which is also Michelle wanted, which is not the killer, not this dark you know Anti Hero Wannabe but these these victims, these survivors, these resilient men and women the people that were chasing the people that had to survive his his sickness. Basically, that is the focus of it it. It brings the focus back on the life, and that is the legacy that that gets remembered. You know that that to me is is really what means the most? that. Dom If. I also want to talk about in lighter fare very excited a new season season three of anti bio coming out on. I remember you know a it's surreal to think back but you guys did get eight out of ten. Of which is luckier than most shows certainly. And I can imagine I think you wraps the episode on March Twelfth, which was the same that we had to cancel our show. I remember it was to afternoon of Thursday march twelfth and everyone was checking their twitter their news updates weather locking everything. We can you know and the you could. You could feel the pacing. Become faster and very running gun because it felt like we gotta get these in the can how do we do this? How do we so and I remember we shot till nine o'clock that night in an nine o'clock a brought us all together and then we were all looking into the we know what's happening with your. It's all being locked down everyone go home and I remember getting in my car and going to. Vons and buying like as much bottled water and Power bars and stuff and I could, but it really felt like with this is the last these. This is the last Hurrah of this world for a little while and it will be I. Think Surreal is well for people to watch show that takes place in high school where you know no one is obviously taking any precautions about transmitting diseases. So hopefully, people will enjoy the escapism of times where. In things like that were one of the toughest turtles for yet another show that is even though it's about a murder. Maybe worth murders. Innocent and incredibly sweet show that stars, your cohort that ap bio, Paula Pell and yourself and That's available quickly, and certainly is fun to watch and I'm assuming. It there's a scene. Paula pell is such a frigging genius she. It's basically if if if if Martin says he directed a murder, she wrote that kind of the vibe to it where it's really nice and sunny, and then it gets too violent and sexual for no reason. Oblivious in the middle of it, and she calls in a murderer Israel, all of her friends Tina fey and Fred Arnesen all in there in it's just John Lutz. There's a scene where she sucking get through Lemme she's she's explaining the solution to murder, but it involves all this really really graphic sexual stuff and. I don't say anything but I was facing Jack mcbrayer in all he's doing is just reacting to what she said in. Rosemead smile of tear and I. I was. Was Gonna blow the take because he is so hilarious that shows amazing I hope they get to do more of those because she said to and I can't eight to see a more BIOS, and it's always a delight to see best of luck to you my friend well-deserved now soon, I would love to talk to you more but alice has a singing lesson with Adele show. I have. And she went outside the does not here yet and she's lockout exactly. You find. AP Bio. Returns with new episodes peacock September third and in the meantime checkout AP bio the podcast wherever you get your podcasts. As. Late night with Seth Meyers weeknights on NBC at twelve thirty, five eleven thirty, five central originally music on the late night podcast is by the eight g band. Don't forget to follow the hand late night set on social media until your friends who subscribed to the late night podcast wherever they get their podcasts.

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Carolla Classics: Patton Oswalt, Dana Gould, and Paul F. Tompkins

The Adam Carolla Show

2:26:59 hr | 6 months ago

Carolla Classics: Patton Oswalt, Dana Gould, and Paul F. Tompkins

"Thanks for listening to the Adam Corolla show. On podcast one. Big. Mac Chicken mcnuggets. Big Mac in quarter pounder with cheese are FILET O. Fish. You'd be doing the same thing if you were at McDonald's because you can choose not just one, but two love your favorites for just six bucks. Tasty. Big Mac crispy ten piece chicken mcnuggets, juicy quarter pounder with cheese or savory below fish. Enjoy Two of your all time favorites for just sixty bucks. If you can decide to prices and participation may vary cannot be combined with any other offer or Combo deals single item at regular price. Bet Online sports are coming back. Yeah. So your chance to bet with our exclusive partner Bet Online Dot AG. MLB IS BACK NFL. Camps have opened NBA's in full swing now, plus you have see lots of good uc stuff going on on that fight island boxing NASCAR NASCAR, sh- back then limited. The crowd. But their race in man and no shortage ways to get in on the action visit bed online, Dot AG, do it today check out all the odds up to date sports news. Don't forget to sign up and take advantage of all the welcome back to sports bonuses they half what you do is you visit bed online dot ag, our exclusive partner at podcast one. Don't forget Promo. Promo Code podcast one for your sign up bonus today, bet online your online sportsbook experts. Well, we got another good show coming. Your Way may great show coming your way because it's a corolla classic and they're so many millions of hours to choose from which use the best. So buckle up and get show to share with a friend who went to get people onto the show I do the collector. Over forty million people are unemployed that means unpaid bills, but does that mean debt collectors can abuse you trying to collect the debt? No, it does not. If the debt collector lives or verbally abusive or treat you unfairly, you don't have to put up with it. Get free legal help. It sued the collector DOT COM skilled consumer law attorneys will take your case for free. They eliminate the debt, you owe pay you up to a thousand bucks. Bucks in a race and airs on your credit report that were caused through. No fault of your own take care of yourself, sue the collector dot com right Dawson, get a three attorney plus went up to one thousand dollars and get the data raised forever. That's what the team had sued the collector offer and they never charge for their services. That's S. U. E. T. H.. E.. C. O. L. L.. E. C., T. O. R.. Dot. com. Hello, and welcome to Corolla classics for August Seventh Twenty Twenty. The show, we're going to play some the greatest moments of the Adam, Corolla show my name's Chris, locks Amman, executive producer of the Adam. Corolla show in with me as always parole archivist. Super Fangio von. Body. These episodes been putting out this week are essentially all primers to get your friends and family hooked on the Parola. Show. So a lot of the stuff will be fresh to you as well. But for them, it's going to be all fresh. So if you WANNA play entities for friends family from on the computers on their phones like this I, don't know just listen to it. Please do that because we put a lot of work into the show and we do it all for you. Little. That's completely correct and yes. So and it also catches up people who who haven't really who just started listening more recently, they wanna, know what was. Out Too. So there's all kinds of different stories of widest show my work for you and if so share with somebody else who also enjoy and just reminded the Adam. Karol show returns Tuesday. But till. Then during this break Jianye, taken it over and going to play some of the history of the Adam Corolla show. Now, the first day on Wednesday, we played the first year of the podcast, and then yesterday we introduced the format switch from the one on ones and the sitting on. The couch with the law, Mike's to the more radio show style format, and today. We're going to show you. What? our next news girl sounded like because that's kind of like a lot of people Explain the different areas of the cruel show. The go the Teresa Strasser era or the Alison Rosen era or Gina Grad era, which is now. and. We fat wants. Teresa Strasser. She moved away. To Arizona, she got a great new job there. She just coming off her her newly released a book. And we hit the search for news girl and we found that in the very funny Alison Rosen. Zam Cruel show for eighty-one Fidgeting Patton oswalt Alison Rosen Brian. Bishop this from January twentieth twenty eleven recorded the previous day. Asia's Nice little chunk of what the format is like. Now, you get a little bit of patent, a little bounce news. The super cut for what the show was twenty eleven checkout. Love, me a little molly hatchet. Towns Patton. oswalt is here. Pat, yourself a book could see pen. I wrote a book your book. Ambi- SPACESHIP WASTELAND I've been reading it and watching it on I. Tunes up there near the top of the charts in the audio, the audience selection. How did you do your audio book? I sat down and read my book, and then there were certain sections. Like there's a chapter where I talk about working at a movie theater and the rem album fables of the reconstruction was a big deal for me. So I used the lyrics of it as like little breaks in the narrative, and I got Michael Stipe read his lyrics on the book or I. Think That's a big poll. Get. Because it's not like he does anything. Right? I mean he he's very active guy. He does a lot of stuff and produces. Commercial for eighteen. He wouldn't go like I'm Michael Stipe and when I'm chafing right I retold. Thanks gold, bond right I mean through my Sherman tour that I did. I. Do you know him happy? They have friends. We have many many friends in common and he turned out. He said he was. He'd be glad to do it and and like the chapter, and what was really cool was when he read the lyrics that I wrote down what I went to lyric sites where people hit, you know he has hard lyrics to decipher sure and he read the lyrics. He's like Oh. These are wrong. These aren't the lyrics that we wrote, but but he loved the fact that that's how. How they've been interpreted and that's how I heard it. Right. And that's how it affected my life. She goes we're going to go with these. Yeah. So he was so cool about that, but he's like, no. Once you I think he has that philosophy of when you record a song. It's not yours anymore then in the hands of people that listen to it. Yeah. I, It is funny though when you are sitting around with somebody especially when a song is fifteen or twenty years old that comes on radio. Starts Singing, and then they start fucking it up. Oh boy and it's a weird moment where. You're. GonNa. Weird look on your face and then you have a decision to make do yes. Roy Their world. You them embarrassing themselves. In front of others. You may not be as kind as you and what happens on Karaoke. But. What if there what? I. What happens? What happens if you look at that? Screaming their hearts broken, my my friend mark. Did the Toto Song hold the line, hold the line and. And I'm just drive driving Vegas and it came on I. Love this song. And it's like not in the way that you. As a certain point, and then he bursts into those who lives. And I realized. He's had a nineteen year run with this song screaming those. In the context of the lyrics that still works. Yeah. In building them what they're what they're talking about that. No, I know unlike when my buddy Steve turned taking care of business by Bto into taking care. Pistons that. Did Not work. I always have. We do this one play the song if we yell. Those are allies. I think an award. Yeah. Those allies isn't always. It's still fit. As bad. Love isn't always on. Plus. Your brain when it's fucking up can build a bridge. Listen Channel really creative. Really, build bridges who thought that the squeeze song pulling Mussels from the shell was actually about a girl named Michelle that gets murdered Oh. Yeah, and it was something like zone. Love. Michelle like like a guy. He thought it was a guy who was pulling the muscles out of Michaud. Had gone crazy and was murdering her at the beach or something in love this song. Don't maybe here, anymore black coffee in bed. But this I could hear a lot a lot. Yes, nothing wrong with this one. Bit. Bag. and Michael Stipe. Is has got to be the ultimate guided. His talk about my song getting misinterpreted because he wrote they did that song the one I loved Oh. It's just about hatred. It's about you know you're just a prop now on the road and another prop is occupy my time and it was like this song that people played at. Weddings. PROMS. Ir, THAT'S NOT A. Good Shiny, Happy People. Sort of a goof to he probably did that to go. Look you WANNA. Happy Song people about this. Gu Friend. I think I. Really, tortured brilliant piece of I. Don't know anything about the man other than he's huge into the AMA. Loves Mixed Martial Arts. That's all. I've heard about it. That's all I can tell. So He's ring. Joe. Rogan. But that's all I. Know About Demand Yeah look. Then then you know what? Everyone? So. You can't say you know he loves the Mickey Astle are. So what is it? IS HE IN ATLANTA? He's living in Atlanta lives in it. I'm I. Have a feeling. He has homes everywhere, but he probably lives in. Athens or Atlanta or someplace, and he's of citizen of the world. Is. He. Is he by is he played You know, Joan? No, I you know. I have a better shot with. A better. Shot. and. He's really at a certain point east. He's starting to look like. Bill. Murray. If we could put some weight on him. There's nothing wrong with with turning into Bill Murray. No. Because you just just basically turning into bill. Murray says you're turning into hot rumpled wisdom. You. Turn into the rumpled. That still gets chicks, right. So if he's headed towards Bill Murray, then he can just kick back and coast. That's a great place to head toward although I don't know if he wants to pointing towards Tova. Board ninth. Second. Way I don't know if he wants to draw. Rumpled wisdom. Looks like he's he is beginning to look like the guy upon the data in Juneau. I'm forgetting. Yellow. So He read the. Mo- Michael Stipe to read. Lyrics on the audio book. That is a huge I asked a friend who asked him and it wasn't I got him to do it. It was that Michael? Ridiculously Nice to go. Yeah. I'll read this. Part of it, you know part of it is. Cool. I mean I hope so I mean. I mean the reason? No. But I mean, you're not a Douche bag comedian. Get, you know what I mean I. You know what? I'm going to go ahead and agree with you. I takes a brave man hang on. Just feel like I've just I've just taken a step off a cliff I'm not bay comedian. Okay. Oh, I've admitted it. If you were. You know I don't Know Jeff Foxworthy or the guy doesn't ventriloquist things that sells a million. Stadiums or yeah Donham. Dan Racist. Right if you're that guy, Michael probably wouldn't have agreed. Fuck, could you read something with my puppet, the black puppet with a gigantic lips and teeth? With that name, Lucia. Help you out right that should help your image. You're you're you're thinking man's comic and a smart comic. That's what I would saw. Versatile I was I was saying I heard a very interesting story that J. K., Simmons told me I I met him minute screening and and I was like I've just been a huge I. don't want to pay the huge fan of your's ever since like Oz. And again, he was so nice to me for like ten minutes and he was saying you know my wife is a Broadway actress and she was in. Beauty and the beast she was one of the. Dancers and chorus members. There were all these in the broader musical. The the silverware comes out and dances, and the teapot. There's everyone is she said a lot of the when he was doing is a lot of the knives and forks were you know gay men came in replaying these par and they all would tell her? Oh, your husband is J. K. Simmons. They. They. All had these weird fantasies about his character on the kind of the the rapist white supremacist guy. Sure. So there was a whole line of knives and forks in the beauty and the beast musical that had like gay rape, white power fantasies about chickens. Wonder. It's like if you're a spark or you buy like, I'm trying to think like all right in this. Case Knives. Gay. Guys, four sports, you guys. Elton. John. Your sport is. Three times versus four. One of those weird. You know I made out with him last week, and now he's he's hanging out with with frank. The spoon. What's going? Well, he's you know he's a sport. Always. Warn kids crying. He's cool. He's a sport. Sport phase. Yeah. Fence sitters. He's in college right now. College. Sport to one time or another. Phase. Just because I'm sort of shut down. On. Ron. If you'd gone to Jewish camp in the seventies, you would have had A. exerience. That's all I'm saying. Free for you and I was watching to with my kids and John Joining that Explaining explaining to my Guatemala, nanny, old guy i. know the guy does the voice of the rat. and. She said, he doesn't talk and. Does and she just does and I said, yeah, he's GonNa. Wait. He'll start talking and then certain point you start talking and she went. Noise Atlantan you're right. Talking. So That was that and and I was thinking it's Nice So you know you make you make independent films. You you do stand up right books, do animated films, budget stuff, and all that kind of stuff. Do you like just bopping around and playing all the different instruments in the orchestra pit? Definitely? Yeah. That's that was my. Co. Kinda. My dream was I always wanted to stand up first and foremost. To. Get to do interesting things and make money doing it and or not know. Not not to make like crazy money because then then it takes over your career and that's you have to do just to be to have the freedom to keep being a moving target and never have to settle on one thing right and just Oh, I'm interested in doing this I'm GonNa go do this dry in the always stand up is basically like your blacksmith and two hundred years ago and you're just walking from town to town, but a hammer and Manville Always pick up some work. If the shit work out and whatever the trading, the whole spice thing doesn't work out. You can always just pick up that hammer and the anvil get passed a war zone. Zoe's a horse that need shoeing. There's always a pot of stew shirts. Someone's someone's arth right and I just kind of go in and just show your mules if you that's. What stand up is to is now guy, yeah. Yeah, it's. It's also it is a completely dictatorial post, I it. There's no committee rose no collaboration share, just go up and whenever I say goes and there's still have that outlet with all the other stuff and doing which and I have no problem with like. But writing a book you, you weren't you, you wrote a book, they were had an editor was like, Hey, it might work better if like you had to work back and forth well a little bit. Me I always get the twenty, seven year. Old Chick. Who has no idea what I'm talking about. And then does the no, one would ever put. No. One's heard of Huey Lewis and the news that kind of thing, and you go play have sweetie. You're just you're too. You're not in your. Yep Slade, can we say Justin? Bieber. Just float that out there. Right I. Know You like slade, whoever that person is I and I got along great with my editor and she was great. But she comes from a completely different background I as she's much younger than I, she's a different gender different color than mine, and you're just not going to have these shared experiences in. Your experience, it's GonNa seem sort of alien to her and and so you have to deal with that, and by the way you're writing a book, you can't tell crown or whatever my. Publisher my book and I'm GonNa find. Good Question Yeah Schmucky books. Schwanke both wish. Mickey. Yeah, it was around. Harpercollins. Yeah, and then crown or something like that. But they. Go. Fuck off like you gotTa Listen Sweetie. I've written no books in my life. So I think I know what I'm talking about. All right. You can't argue with zero track record. I. Don't know who this Don delillo is you've edited. I have been on Conan O'Brien eleven times. So I think I know what I'm talking. Right with my I was in a Sierra Miss Commercial. Paragraph touched right. I don't care how passive verbs all random house are. There you go. Yeah. You're little unknown indy. Label Random House. Yeah. She can't do it. But now though so speaking of you know independence and doing your own thing and and and as as a creator I, it's not just comedy. It's really. What whether you're painting or whether you're doing poetry? Yeah. You sort of want to be left alone. Anyone do what you? Think's interesting. Time to go hermit it up a little band. There's a lot of lot lot of chefs in the kitchen when it comes to comedy especially sitcoms. and. Yes. And the thing I wanted to ask you about is when I was at NBC. Failed Sitcom Matthew Broderick. was at NBC doing his failed Sitcom and. Who else is in the sitcoms, Patton Oswalt Sitcom, and then at a certain point, they did a table read and they said Patton Oswalt, not in the Sitcom and I said. And I'm not just you know restaurants kissing ass. is a super talented guy. Has it big body work behind him? They knew exactly what they were getting when they hired him, what could have happened at the table read? From, what I can? Love it. No. Basically, what happened was the healing star the the by the way. The table read is just before you start shooting. Agree much. It was the here's what sucks about. It was the creator and the and the exact producer wanted me over the objections to the network from the get-go. This is the guy we want. This is how we want to take the show, and then it was like we want a really young guy in this role and they would know young guys not right. It's got to be an older guy because of how were doing this this thing, and so they basically they dug their heels in and they won that battle. But the network let that goes they could eventually win the war and you know I'm not trying to say that. I got. I'm not trying to wind screwed over stuff. Bad stuff happens all the time you just move on, but it was one of those table reads where they had a satellite hookup with La that the screen kept going out, you're in new, your. Work Matthew. Broderick was like the nicest guy and then after another big fan and then after own gut. Is, telling the CLAP pushups, she'll seventy right there. Yeah. So he He was like so nice to me after the next day when when basically I got the call from the Creator. Saying look they're they're telling me either you get fired or there's no show and the table, he was a disaster for everybody because. MICS would cut out. The screen would cut out. It was a nightmare, but and then I said, look I just went through this really bad experience on Broadway where I got dragged into something that I had nothing to do with, and I'd really like this to be kept out of the press because people get. Let go from all the time in the early stages. Right and he said Oh. Yeah. This'll be nothing, and then when I landed the next day in La I get a call, I've I got a text from the show's creator, Gwen, I'm so sorry about the Hollywood reporter. Man. And I and I. I was in the car going home and I had to pull over at the newsstand. And right on the front, but Patton oswalt fired after disastrous table read. Yeah, and I was just like this. So that was that was a really awful three. It's if you fucked up the table raid. Yeah, and what really suck was the people that were being really good the creators and I'll say it I did a really good job I did a really good job and. Reporter well, is Holly Reporters Gospel Basically Yeah. So Matthew Broderick was so fun to work with and the these two unknown to also they played people that were on the staff, these two young actors that were fantastic, and then everything just got kinda screwed over because of the. Because of the the network had a different idea about it it and sometimes. People go to bat on your behalf that can really backfire. What happens is it? You know somebody says No we want pant in the network says, no, we don't want, and then they go shove it up the ass, but it's a temporary at shovel. We'll get shutout eventually the network. T. Strong ASS. Muscle right, and can shoot something right back. Dr Different Cure. Will buyers that Beitar they fired that, but all the way back to La. Debut. Here's what you don't hear out of the network folks. You don't hear, Hey, man, we were wrong that guy's awesome. So what what they you? It's hard to turn them around. So they just wait for an opportunity the I would have been totally cool with you know you did a good job, but it's not what we want. I. Understand that I've been on the other end of that casting stuff. You know testing other pilots were worse. There's someone that I fought for so hard and then I then the network makes an ultimatum and I have to go either fight for this person or. Or I have no show right and it really sucks. You Know Me Tina Fey. Went through that on thirty rock. You know. So it's really hard. Jerry, really such. But again, that's what we were talking about earlier. When you get to that level, there are cooks in the kitchen way more than you and you don't have. It's not a dictatorial post to create a commodore movie or write a book right and but little more writing a book. Maybe a little more than an independent film. Yeah. something. Big Fan. Especially, which pants was great in and did a you know almost serious roll which was. Very good and and then there is now. And then you get into sit. But the thing I couldn't figure out because I was doing a Sitcom simultaneously for NBC. No. I was in la having having the same kind of casting arguments with the Braille. Yeah. Except for an an indifferent one except for. It. It's so awesome. No one. I don't mind people being wrong I mind when people are wrong and then just grab onto it with both hands and take it to the grave like they never go. Sorry bligh. We we were doing a Sitcom and they basically saw my independent movie, the Hammer, and they want we want, which is a terrific movie by the way interest. That is a that was a really terrific lake or early seventies, kind of that era of filmmaking kind of movie that that was the plan actually and task and. And, and so they wanted to capture little slice of that. So I said okay, we'll do that and we'll get me and Kevin Hinchey wrote the hammer and we'll do it Sitcom Single Camera Sitcom, version of that. It'll be me and my sidekick Oswaldo from the hammer and everyone loved, and they're like, well, we're not casting that guy and I was like why? Not An like a? He's known. He's not an actor and I was like, well, he wasn't an actor before we get a ninety minute. Yeah. He was good in what you seem to like you guys like that movie. Straight Service the best sports comedy of aid. So how bad can he be? So why don't we and I've known the Guy for twenty years? So why don't the camera likes him? There is why not just put Ozzy in the role of by the way it rolls called Ozzy. Scars with names. Oswald. The just get screwed with related. That's it. Glanton version pattern we looked at seven hundred Latin guys, and the problem was that they all had to do a bad fake accent and the bad fake accent was kind of a turnoff like. Racist Racist. So they ended up. So it's important. I gave an impassioned speech in front of everyone and I said look, you know now we're like Gary Cooper the fountainhead. Days away from taping I said. Please listen to me. That's the they cast a Puerto Rican guy who had red hair freckles and was in his early twenties for this side Kick Guy, who was supposed to be in his early fifties, late forties whatever. Right. And at a certain point I said to everybody, please listen to me. I, noticed guy we've worked together. We shot a movie together, the producer, the crater of this show, the Co creators of the show shot an independent film that you guys all love with this. Believe me the audiences love this guy start laughing when he walks onto the end of the frame, he's lovable. Lovable Likable Guy. Believe me, there's no prom, and if you hire the guy from New York, who's Puerto, Rican. Who speaks perfect English and tell them to ham up a Spanish accent. You could offend some people and they said, thank you. Now, we're going to hire the guy from New York, who's twenty four with Puerto. Rican who speaks perfect? English and they hired him two days. Later, we did a table read and he faked the accent The table read went great except for one part. This guy's comical fake Spanish accent, which wasn't really his fault. He was trying to do it. When we were done, they went in the room convened for half an hour came back in and said, we liked it. Everything was great. We had one major problem. That guy with the fake accent was offensive. It's like. Hello. What. Sucks. Is that not off the fruit basket and then say what you have to say, fucking nut jobs or all wrong. All the time Jesus fucking cries not only do you does it make you look bad. It takes this young actor who's probably a terrific actor. Horrible position where he has to do. And then he looks awful and then they blame so so just. Again. Everyone looks awful. Accept them. They're the ones that Adam, what is your problem? That was so racist? And you look like this. This animal basically Nice Guy, good actor. He wasn't Ozzie. Ozzie is a forty nine year old. Blaming him for not being forty nine years old. I, know hard this twenty year old and he didn't have the courtesy to turn forty nine years old after we hired Ozzy's. Ozzy's character. Anastazia Nicaraguan. This guy's not Nicaraguan. This guy has red hair and freckles. He had a fake accent. It was a horrible decision made by a group of what I now know are stupid people who are not smart enough to apologize quite honestly when they're fucking wrong but human to human enough I spent an entire the entire prep for the show arguing over Ozzy's role when we could have been actually working on how did the product take? As he is the nicest guy in the world and Ozzy just sat there, and then a certain point when we were done and this guy gave his semi offensive performance two days before it was time to start rolling nap. They said, I said, all right now. Do you understand what just happened there? Let's get ozzy and they said not so fast. You need to work with this guy and get him in shape and I said really Still, not still not ready to cut this one feels like every time I get hired a bunch of a and I'm being paid a nice a nice amount of money. To work to fix a script that someone got a profane amount of money to write badly Does that make sense? Oh. Yes, and that always drives me nuts when they're just like we look this guy wrote a horrible script, but we sent him away with a couple million. So he's off rocking his wounds. Here is a a Bagel trae and all the coffee. You can drink to punch this thing up and make it work because of this script or diffuse go that. We really liked that will never shoot in a million years, but it certainly got you the punch up here that doesn't sound like. No, but again, it's like. I'm not. I'm not trying to bitch about Oh woe is me. I'm just saying look at the value system is very skewed and not only aries. Is Insane to me insane to me in an almost all facets of life, which is this at at a certain point, and I don't know why people don't focus. Wish people focused a little more on psychology in a little less on religion politics or even the bottom line at a certain point. Somebody's got to say to somebody. Hey, man. The Star. The show in the creator of the show and the writer of the show does not want to work with this Puerto. Rican guy who he's never met before who's twenty four and from New York who he has no chemistry with. Why do we want to shove these two together to create instant chemistry chemistry when the star of the show obviously just doesn't WanNa dance with this dude, why not just give him the guy he's used to working with even if that guy has his shortcomings are limitations at least the guys known him for twenty years in a shot and independent movie with where's the psychology of fucking retards the psychology obviously there pompous asses, and that's where it comes also, but it's it's it's the insecurity of it's the people at the top, and it seems three words that ruined so many sitcoms in development, which is unfunny to. The always nation when I was in college, I did a little creative writing I. Mean I'm funny too. I can add stuff to this and I'll be glad to help you out like, yeah. I mean you you have that that that podcast and you were on all the shows I just. It'll. It'll relieve you know that I'm also really funny like around the office and the people that I pay. Their hysterics. As it. I want to I. Always want to do this because you know you know this goes especially when you're doing the table read or punch getting the notes or whatever you're getting somebody who's in the business of being funny. But doesn't have shred of funny in gives you this at some point they go. What? If PAT and PAT? What if what? If instead of Roy? Instead of confronting your ex girlfriend at the dry cleaners, you did not this. But like not this, not this isn't funny. But something like something, I've always WANNA. Yell. Dick how about you spread some. About that. Again, see this I got ballpoint pen. Go Go ahead. Don't give me not this now. Right? They do. They do not what you want to do. Not. What you think is funny I have another idea. It's not funny. Not This not this, but something like, but not this, but then shoulder blades. Yeah. Not This, not this really here's the deal. How about this? How about I got a solid eight, you beat it with a nine or shut the fuck up. Fights I've I've never nothing more frustrating than when you're in a room and there's some guy I worked in a sketch show and there was some kind of like writers intern program, and so they brought in this guy that was a friend of mine and the cast members, and he was the worst. He had not a shred of funny in him. But what happens is when somebody dumb pipes up and says something. Something, stupid. Instead of everyone going, can we just not address that at all and just move on the guys like wait a minute. If he had a problem, right? We should be discuss this. You're like we're going to waste it. I'll give an example, a guy on this show. One of the writers pitch just catching it was it was simple idea and really funny a guy is giving a eulogy at the funeral. Jeremy Eulogy. It becomes clear that the guy who died died owing him twenty dollars and he has not let that go and it seeping into the eulogy and there you go. There's your sketch. So the raiders intern. Twenty dollars I mean, who cares the guy should have died owing him like one, hundred, thousand dollars then have a right to be pissed and. You could see. Let's pretend he didn't just sit please God, please and then. Maybe. That is the way to go rhino in other words. Yeah. So you're making it not a comedic sketch, right? That is a perfectly logical thing to be upset about shirt. And an hour of my life is forever going an hour because. I know. You should have a fucking air horn that they used to start boat regattas with just half halfway into his wait a minute. You just bran. Even. Going down this now, how about this one? How about the I was calling the friends of your minds? NBC was just like H, x, and none of them were funny and you're like, remind me of my mom's friends when I was a kid like I don't know what you do, but you're kind of scary but you walking funny. But I'm scared if you and I don't know what to do and they're certainly we have no common ground and I don't WanNa talk to you, and even though we're in my home I'm still scared Shitless, you're GonNa yell at me. So right, the friend, one of the MOMS of your mom's ran is sitting at the table at the end goes. I didn't get that. They were divorced and you go Well, it says, you know you're my ex wife and I don't need to listen to you anymore because I don't once you get divorced. Yeah. But it was. Shelly was unclear to you. Yeah. I. Was a little unclear that. Okay. Well, maybe you guys could make that and it's like now maybe shelley's fucking dumb or was tuned out. Why should we go ahead and tweet the scrap when it's already in the fucking struck out? Right now. JELLIES dumb, and doesn't know shit about COM-. If if the people existed that the networks thought up in their heads that were out there watching that were potential watching that stuff there would be people out there. That literally could not could not. Defecate? In their pants. Held jobs and could buy the products they advertise. Right. Also, weirdly enough defecate defecating their pants and name for. Randy Masturbate for no reason while they talk to people. Right. And if if you if you give them more than two concepts like, Hey, could you a can I get a coffee and put some sugar in it for they would scream and run away? If those people existed that there'd be a frightening world lease. The Broderick pilot never got picked up to even have to go through watching a young. Game. But that sucks to because then I ended up part of me and I'm going to be totally honest part of me was rooting against people that I've worked with for four days that I genuinely liked and I was rooting for them to fail as nothing more hateful in this business than because of a decision like that where you're hurt embarrassed, you then end up I spent some time part of me was hoping that they all failed sure and I hate that I felt that way, but part of new wouldn't does have. Totally, but but it just like, why am I put that like I'm the guy who's trying to be creative and helpful and curious and outgoing and people that are closed, minded and kind of frightened. They're the ones that that get to have ten hours, sleep a night and never worry you know have increased face. Stamps. Dot Com love these guys. As we adjusted the new normal. We still need to be smart about how we do business. Luckily, stamps dot com make things easier. I've used stamps, DOT COM for over ten years. That's what we do here. We send out every book, every t shirt Merch, whatever it's all done through stamps, dot com because it's easy I wouldn't WANNA pay people to go back and forth to the post office and by the way WHO's going into the The Post Office these days who even knows what the rules are whether you're small business sending invoices or online seller shipping products just work from home. You could do it that way to mail stuff with stamps, DOT com. They let you buy and print official US postage any package, any letter twenty, four, seven at home five cents off every first class stamp and up to sixty two percent discount on USPS and ups shipping rates as well. Special offer for week trial. And get the free postage and digital scale. It goes up to eighty pounds. So everything you need to send no long term commitment. Just go to stamps, dot com, click the microphone top of the homepage type in at. And now patent oswalt Alison, Rosen and Brian Bishop on the Adam Corolla Shell back in January of twenty eleven. Patent being one of my favorite guests that comes in He was recently recently zoomed in his new special came out and and I've seen a lot of him on HBO from The the new documentary. On the. Most. Recent episode that has aired is truly gut wrenching and heartbreaking the fact they shared so much as. It's beautiful when the most amazing television documentaries I've seen. It doesn't have any of those blow to filler episodes. Have you love Patton Oswalt? Haven't seen US do yourself a favor? It's a love letter to his late wife interested, honest. Open wound of true crime and humanity. I couldn't put it better myself. All, right. Let's keep. Let's keep going some more Adam. Corolla show cliffs. Now we're GONNA. Go a month later from the episode you just heard and this one features allison once again is the news girl and Scott Thompson. Yeah, they didn't fight her month one. Now, he's Thompson a founding member of kids in the hall Hilarious Comedian. Talented actor. Comes on the show for of five hundred. His first appearance from February twenty eleven ns, Scott is this really beautiful sentiment actually shared on the dock drew's podcast about all of them gay men who died of AIDS in the eighties in the nineties and all the scientists and artists in every single profession can imagine that was lost from society because all these men died all these people hide and they didn't get to contribute whenever their skill their passion was. It was really eloquent idea that Dr drew share passionately dot crews on the frontlines epidemic. PANDEMIC WHEREVER YOU WANNA call it So. This is a more light-hearted Clip Scott Thomsen Adam Corolla Alzheimer's and Brian. Bishop absolute five hundred, check it out. Yeah back with Scott Johnson, you know well from the kids in the hall, many other endeavors I. I love the theme song, the kids in the hall. By the way, I say that every time we have a kid in the hall on the show, but I love that risk. I don't know what the name of the band is shadowy men from shadowy planet. Are they still around the e? No. I. Don't think so I don't think so no, they're probably during the time would go out and start playing a son kids. Yeah. Think it drove him crazy until he started getting residual checks. Crazy just went away. Now. They're cool. They ended up making more money than us Scott by the way is doing his own podcast Scott. Free I like that available on the I tunes and you can go to the website Scott Free podcast dot com Scott was reminding me. I'd blanket out that he was one of the guy there were. There were a handful of guys when we did crank yankers that didn't bear fruit. Sorry pardon puzzle. Right that. But not a slight. There were few guys who we went to. Vegas. With who the way we would do. Crank Yankers is. We would sort of sit around back at our office in L.. A., and me and Jimmy, and we'd. All the other folks, and we'd sit there and we'd guard. We be funny ideas and I'd be like. Oh. Well, let's see You'd think we'd all like the celebrities that we we may know and who would be good for this and fried armistead. Funny by doing this, he he did this did is like Hispanic character that was really funny and. All the different various peoples we work with and I don't know how -Sconsin Amo came up. I, don't either it was. Not I. Don't mean this in a pejorative way, but I didn't suggest you. But I wasn't like. Seth Macfarlane I knew. So I was like Seth McFarland should come in. He does this like old timey twenties radio guy and he'll come in and call a game tomorrow. It'll be like, Hey, follow what gives you know and and it will work. So we had a few bus way with a lot of a lot of fruit little one time. We brought Andy Dick out there, not leave his hotel room. Okay. So Little Asian man friend would pick up the phone and say Andy. Sick. He can't come out and we're all in the studio just sort of waiting for him do ever show. Now never never did get him out eventually. I realized we should just record the conversations we have with him in his hotel room, but he caught onto that somehow Then there's Jeff Garlan. Oh Yeah. Who just? Couldn't come up anything funny after about seven hours. Not. His fault must have been a bad day with the phone book but hysterical man. and. Then there were Scott. Thompson. Scott. And I do remember this now. Yeah. Scott you sit booth and he's start opening. Numbers, you can start fucking with people essentially and. I don't like it either but I, somehow able to remind I. Think it was one I was trying to convince a guy that it was a wrestler that we wrestled naked with oil and we had strange holes and Blah Blah Blah and I guess I was like wait a second that all sounds great to me. So I was remember I. Think it was like a homophobia thing, I thought everything turn tried to make guy seemed gay and for me, that's the greatest thing on earth. So I. So I was like I can't. It's weird for me to kind of like Laura Guy into into a gay thing when I would totally Want that and deliver. I felt it just didn't make sense to me. It'd be like me making fun of people that eight Pie. Or, put. Say pice Skin Oh. Yeah. Laissez. Pumpkin. Okay exactly. So I was Penis Pie. Every. Latinas Pine for me. It's the greatest. It's the greatest thing that you can do on this earth said have a Graham cracker across what's that come with? Well, they don't as much as they used to. Do. Look across put whipped cream on the side. Of Spy. So that was basically and I guess I just didn't want to light and there was a woman that I was supposed to. Think. Make think that she was I was the world's greatest Tango Dancer and I was trying to lure her. I was going to make her a star, the middle of it just went. I'm really just a guy trying to fuck you up. I can't do this. Right? Yelling, no, throw dry race board. No. So I I wasn't I wasn't very good. Scott just like that. I'm not comfortable with this and we're going to give you time. No, not at all I. It was a fun time. It wasn't ugly. I did I. Got I came out of my hotel room just just not. My thing is just not how I? What I see the thing for most comedians. They all started off just making prank calls. That's. What, most like when when we would get a comedian in there to do a professionally, they would go. Oh, man I've done this for free my whole life. Most of the and I don't know that it would be that way for comedians twenty years from now, 'cause there's more ways to fuck with people, but you leave a nine year old with a sense of humor alone with telephone and he will be dialing whoever saying whatever I mean. It's just debts. That's what they do. So every single person, almost every person we brought and then went up two thousand. He's now for me, Andy Dick and Jeff Garland. Well, what is the Garland haven't garland tried it's just nothing and he didn't even get anything out of it. Sometimes, it's luck. You just get a whole bunch of bad people on the other line. But I don't remember getting anything. Usable. Out of him. and. Andy Dick Never came out of his room. Yeah. Well, that's that's Andy. and Andy's track, record with Vegas. Not. Not. Awesome. but but it's that kind of thing where he wouldn't come out as room. So I, just made some crank phone calls but yes, Scott. So sorry. To nicer soul or WH- what's up? I'm not that Nice at all. Really. It wasn't that day I. Remember it was a bad day and I just didn't WanNa. Do it what. Let's go back with you enjoy your comedy. How did it all start I actually I did start out as a stand-up and then I I. Didn't have a control of myself and I did it in character and I I used to perform as a character Mandy coon. and. He was violent drunk, just probably not the persona that I should've taken and he also he had a real. He was really he had a chip on his shoulder and I was always attacking people in the audience. So I just wasn't my thing and then I saw the kids in the hall one day, and that was it. I was like that's what I WANNA do. So I just basically became their friend and then ended up being indispensable. You saw them performing live. Yeah. What year was this one? Thousand, nine, hundred, four Yeah, and I just finished school and. I didn't want to be an actor like a real serious actor, right and then. I saw these guys that were eight of them. There were four the guys at all quit. Once I joined and. They were unbelievable is a midnight show and I remember was I knew I had a bolt from the blue I turned to my friend and I said I'm GonNa be in that group that you don't even know them but I'm like, yeah, I know. I said the same thing with. Earth wind and fire nineteen, seventy seven. Three. Fate. When you meet someone, that's like you know, didn't have that when you met Jimmy You know it was. You know the thing thing about me and Jimmy in our fateful meeting was more of a thing that was. I wasn't aware of it was just it was powerful. It may be transcended words like there wasn't anyone I turned to and said I'M GONNA. Be I mean hang out with Jimmy Kimmel. I was just like I've got to get in there. It was a weird. Weird wasn't even meet Jimmy. It's like I get into k rock and teach someone how to box is my whole thing, and then after I met Jimmy. I had been a floating out in rough water for so long that when that Harry backed buoy came near me, I shot him with both hands. Get them. I'm not letting go. He's bear in your community, I know, I, like Harry back. We myself. He's Harry back. Bowie sounds like a bird. I was like I. This is. This is my What a lovely high some this morning I was like you're my only chance out of this shift box, shitty thing called life and. But so you just the same. For men format, I, need four men to right. So how how did it work then? So the show's over air blown away? No. Why are they doing sketch and Improv at this? Yeah. They are, and they're doing long form Improv and they're just going all over the place and they're they're naked and really. Yeah. One Guy Frank who quit soon after joint, he did a whole monologue. Monologue completely naked, and I. Remember. They also had take donuts under the chair under people's chairs and I remember there for a sketch later and I found them in the middle of the sketch. I. Started Whipping donuts at them, and then they found out that it was me later and and then they kind of liked it I'd done that right and so showed you inhibits. Yeah. And then they then they realize they had bag of wigs in women's dresses, and that was it. They said, we want you. So that's really like a guy. If you can get to any I, don't care if it's the Beatles aerosmith or led Zeppelin if you could have got to them at the right time in their career and headed van. Yeah. You would be successful in the band. Yeah. At that point van or I had like drums and that's it. So therefore, I Brian Bag of WIG. That's it. That's the. Equivalent of Van imprint on old grey way, and like a like a Green Cardigan. So you said I wanNA work with you and be a part of this. Yeah. I just basically started doing. Improv. With a group by group called the love cats and they were also doing Improv and they would watch me and I was notorious not for being the best or anything. But I. I was kind of out of control and I used to dress up a lot like my team would wear like pantsuits or sometimes we would just dress as nurses or whatever. We would always try to make keep it fun, and I was always losing control a lot and one time mark saw me perform and I did this monologue where I I picked up a someone's. His turn in a toilet and a speech to it. I pretend her, it wasn't hurt and that was it. He said to me. He was like that guy could made talk to that Turkey. We need them in our show and the four light. Now, he's really weird. He's an actor, they hated actors and. They started doing guest spots with them. And then I wrote. A monolog for my character friend, my middle aged woman mother character, and after that they was it would they in what part of Canada's is in Toronto? Would would the folks come out and support the man? Yeah, it was. It was it didn't take long. We became a real a real sensation we had. We do shows every two weeks at this rock club, and no one had done comedy outside of traditional venues. It was all about second city and Yuk Yuks. Those Yuk Yuks. Basically they controlled standup and consider controlled sketch, and we just changed everything. We started performing in a rock club not in a comedy club and we started writing tons of stuff. We would perform new shows every two weeks while, and then we started we never we just kept were so prolific and people just kept coming, and then we just had we started getting an audience and then. Some of the people. From SETV, it always works that way they came in Martin, Short and. Catherine, O'Hara? And Dave Thomas, and then they told people and then it got basically two Dave Thomas's wife Pam. Thomas, and her partner Diane Paulie managed the scientists to manage us, and then Lorne michaels found out about us and then he had just come back to Saturday night live. He'd gone away for a bit and then come back and he was casting. So it came up to Canada to see us and we put on a wild show for him just for him for him and everybody in the whole comedy community in Toronto showed up, it was huge and people crashed the stage and it was wild like a two hour show all the. I, did sketch comedy in North Hollywood for a while I don't feel like they support the arts who north Hollywood like. Eight people in the audience six people. This was a big deal. You guys they supported and it was It was a different time in sketch comedy. What people saw that we were tackling things that had never been tackled by sketch comedy before. The. Canadians. Sharper than they love. I don't hear. It's different everything. So about the business and everybody's about making you and with us, you don't make it in. Canada? So you're just. There's so. There's so little the pie, so small so. The the both is popcorn and peanuts guy. At the small penis by no, I never went for this moment. I mean, look at me. I'm obviously I need that big meetings crest on top uncircumcised. Course again up. Not The motion and the Pan. No, it's it's it's size of the Pie right I mean pie needs right double cross double car. That's were that's the don't work if they don't give. Younger. So morning. Yeah. I'm already horny and hungry yeah. So wait year does the show kids all television? Sorry about that showcase, i. heard a story and Dave Foley. During that showcase for Lorne Michaels. From competing. Improv tree. Crashed the stage like jumped on the stage and started performing for lords in the middle of their showcase and Scott more or less was like get the off are stay. At work I just tossed her off. Wow. I was decided I was like honey. please. This is our break at the fuck off our stage within just booder. was she doing a cockney accent off the accents? She had a funny skirt a rope and she was playing a flute. It was just crazy and we looked at our. We were like what and that was it. I just tossed her wow I like that. Yeah, I mean I. Guess they were like, do we? How do we do this and I was like I'll take care of this, and if you're in the crowd Lorne Michaels, you don't exactly know what's What's going on when he? No, it'd be a positive it. Yeah, and it was wild because we didn't even we did all new material for him. We were so stupid, we had no idea what we were doing. So we wrote a new show for the guy. So what year does it go on television eighty, nine was the special waited an hour special, and then the series started in ninety Yup. I remember that and I remember being was so fresh and new and different, and cool and young, and all that stuff like like felt like it was weird even though it was twenty one years ago. Felt like. It was sort of second city TV show wasn't on anymore out here at least, and then it felt like Saturday night live had run its course. That was twenty years ago. But I guess it just come off a really bad stretch. Yeah. They'd like Jan Hooks on the part of the good stretch. Randy? Quaid. Robert Downey. anti-alcohol run where Lorne michaels left the show. Right and that's a horrible and he came back in the late eighties got rid of that. CAST is really random when you think about. How they have their pick of the Improv comedic litter and how you could end up with some of the decisions they've made over the years seems insane. Some are brilliant, but others are mind numbing. But yeah, they were doing. I. Maybe the timing was good for kids in the hall because they were waning and here comes these guys. Actually I mean, he actually kind of poached from us. He brought mark and Bruce to Saturday night live, but they didn't work out and so they came back and then A. Post from for second city, but we didn't work out either Lorne Michaels Dick. Is He a Dick? Yeah. No. Not Really, no. Really, no. Really. Liz Pi. No. Daddy. Daddy? Say Things. I don't want to say how would you describe? I'd say he's. He's. He's my benevolent Daddy who rescued me from obscurity in Canada. You feel that your father I. Love. Me For a reason. Okay. Better for. Bad to say about some. Say Lawrence Lorn Lorne is Lauren. All right. We get you. You know. He's our. He's the godfather of Canadian comedy. I get you. All right. You want to hang and do some news with us. Sure News. Carring. The fast and easy way to declutter your Home God I. Love these guys have so much junk hanging around my house. You know when you have kids especially when they're a little bit spoil that get all the sporting goods and the equipment ice skates, my daughter's ice skates sold on macari. Super Easy. She can't use them anymore feeder too big and she's playing volleyball in minutes. You can download our car and take picture your stuff added description and it's listed just like that once it sold Macara. A shipping label. Yes. Stick it on the box and you ship it from your home. No meet UPS. No hassles super easy over fifty million downloads in all fifty states. Try MACARI and make some extra cash seller by almost anything from your home, find it at the APP store or go to macari. A. M. E. R. C. A. R.. I.. MACARI AMERICA'S NO MEET UP MARKETPLACE Scott tops in on episode five, hundred of the cruel show. And time is flying by. And looks like we're firing on all cylinders within the protection of the show and just how comfortable everybody is, we'll be the judge of that Chris I. Think I was just judge of Geo and I just announced it. All right. So you're looking in the mirror, Tokyo. So handsome yards who play guitar. Oh, I can't even imagine what it looks like the your is 'cause it looks glorious through mind of sorry shared. What makes me do after we report? Hey. That's our Po- show ritual GIO. I, love it to. Our I let. This one is going to feature another Adam. Karol. Show, Hall. Of Famer, Dana. Gould comedian. Dana. Go We all love him when he does his hules jewels on a cruel show, he's been coming on since the radio show days also featured in Adams movie rode hard. Since love line, he did like this parody of like thunderbirds like weird puppeteer thing treating t America world police on MTV and things. I Call Thunder, the title of promoting a love linebacking like ninety eight, and it was when they still have the end the ten spot on MTV and loved wine was arrogant. MTV's well the radio show. Weird about that. Have Bogus caller who had a very serious call about a five year old HIV, and like day ended was like not into the episode was bummed out and he never came back on the show again, and the next week they found out. That was actually a fictitious call she called back. Her I don't think date ever knew is he'd never came back online, didn't appear till the morning show and that he's never stopped appearing on the show they've they both were in love with you'll. You'll hauser and admiral has been talking about houses, Love Line, and so data comes on the always trying to do a huge jewels. This is episode seven, forty, nine writing Alison Rosen era from February of Twenty, twelve day goals in this portion of the episode, check it out. To White, guys I was driving through North Hollywood today with Mike Lynch, going up to pick up some lamb. At a place for our new car, T. stay grounded. I was picking a drive through my old neighborhood. Yeah. Went over to the guy who's doing some welding fabrication. I'm building the new console now is this just a? North Hollywood. The no-ho arts. This is deep north. Hollywood this is Santa Koi, whatever not? No, it's know how? Yeah. No, there's you know. This is no moss because when I understand. Yeah, that's where traveling because it. No, it's like being in Berlin and the twenties. Arts district. The signs everywhere. This is scary and driving through and I'm going to the place on Sherman Way to pick up my lamp at, you're out there to go ahead and build the console for the new studio, and then I'm gonNA swing by my buddy Rudy's welding shop, and we pass this sign which I don't think any of the The partisan Hispanic speaking crowd is really GonNa. WanNa see, but It's good deeds and it's the new Tyler Perry bill and we took a look at it and I was just driving and we're looking you know. I said as I saw US I said, okay. Here goes an hour with the lady. Oh, about bringing that character home and not liking what he saw in the mirror and you know all that kind of bullshit actor talk and then Mike is Reading the billboard, but I don't know he's reading it I. Think he's just cracking wise, and it says Wesley deeds is about to discover the person. He was meant to be good, and I really just thought the really the good deeds deeds and the name with these. have to be named Wesley. DC I'd so does anyone ever say like any of these meetings is anyone like? In the way. Queen Latifah justed this with just right. Marsha right. A team. Like this. Is there a human being who raises their hand goes? Bosses. Kind of fucked out. We just come up the cool title for the. Wesley Deeds. Going home. It's about again him, Craig home. Can Handle that Wesley deeds is about to discover the person he was meant to be. It's gotTA. Be Good. He takes a turn that like real puke. It's GonNa be great to see. Tyler, stretch his acting chops just a little bit. It's so weird because I just it's like seeing, tyler, Perry dressed as a man i. it's like when you see a porn star dressed, it's just wrong You should be in drag I feel a lot more comfortable with you right before his wedding and affluent man. Tyler Perry develops complicated feelings for a single mom also play by the parents. Lost A cat. I always love. Ct.. Tyler, it's such a positive example you're setting for the black. Caviar. Mailman. As you come up on. All right stop threatening people with violence before i. see good deeds as Medina still in jail because I can't move on until I, know she's safe. Yeah. That's true. We gotTA spring media. And, then tyler can move onto good deeds. ME, the role I'm to guess that. Let me can I just say. So He's about to get married to his wife and they're both very, very Consumerist. Mike a lot of stuff. Flashy signs of wealth, and then I'm GonNa to order coffee that takes fifteen minutes at the starbucks holiday. She's kind of a long conversation about what designer wedding dress she's. He's GonNa. Single Mom. I'm going to spit ball here. This is based on. She's not that wealthy what she's more down to Earth. Now, bear with me Phar- alerts fat basket. Well. No, she's going to be incredibly hot. She's like she'll be glamorous. She doesn't. She's barely quarters. Can. I just throw that she's black? Bailey? And? And her name because. And the movie, she's a single mom. Bloom. Now, her name is Daphne Mom. Billy. was the hot chick on W. K. RPM CINCINNATI? Oh. Yes. Yeah had the glasses. She was lightly good-looking, gorgeous? Yeah Yes. No, I loved her. Yeah. For All the folks that like Sabrina in Charlie's angels yes. Exactly. So through college. And she's going to teach him, she's going to teach him how to be himself. He doesn't need all this stuff, right? Right, and he's going to have to break it to his fiancee. There'll be some comedy where he's trying to play both sides against the middle. And then finally, he's kind of jump in short, the fiance will be super likable. So it's going to be tough when he asked the dumper. No, no, what she's not gonNA be Super Likable. He's she's going to be very. Greedy and money conscious and very. What status conscious and then so and you're the audience will be stunned when but hold on but but works with kids, right? No. No. No. That you've. You have to understand how these movies you. Know, she's you. Root for him to stay with the fiance, right? Yes. But what's going to happen is she's GonNa catch him and his parents will turn against him. Everybody's GonNa turn against him, and he's going to have to either give up everything he has for true. Love are so way Woody Allen did right with his girlfriend's kid so. He's not going to give up the BMW seven series. Yes, he oh, he. But you know, what can I tell you what he's going to be at the end richer for it? And I think at the end of life is going to see him his friend Richard for it. And and I forgot play I'm GONNA guess I I haven't seen this round. Trip the single. MOMS. Child precocious Oh. No. But. Let me say this. Let me say this you probably twenty twenty vision. I have been wrong about a few of these things but the. The fiance the fiance. Very forgiving is. Super forgiving is very forgiving, ass? Basically. Snake eyes of a snake. I just don't know coding for stuff. She'll sovereign at the end when she sees him. Happy. That, she's unhappy she's going to be and she's going to be driving to like with an asshole. A Bentley. See them at the park and she's going to be, and then kind gave one of those Okay. Thank. You. All right. Squeaking parts. Can I say this? The the enact one. Yes. The the. At least one of these. Because I've seen a lot of most in act one. The fiance. Yes. is going to have some help yet the house as you be super, generous and Nice. No? No, no, no, no. No. Like a Latin made come in and be really cool if she offers something to drink. Guy. I know this. This is what this is a fresh different kind of move never seen this. I don't know what this is that she was white. Her friend would be gay and he'd be played by John. Michael Higgins who's not. Right now bundle. Yeah. That that's. The black community, they're not to down with the gay best friend right a decade. Out Right. Okay I wanted to see this movie. You don't need to see how early on in the first act when the too busy professional fiancee's are doing wedding planning with the wedding planner. Are they going to devote all their attention to the wedding details are going to be constantly distracted by? A lot of scenes with them together on their devices, not communicating with each other when they had own world and the single mom is going to have no phones at dinner, and there's going to be like a terrible scene of him trying to eat corn a phone in his hand and to do with his other hand. It's GonNa Start Banging on the table like a fish on a boat. Oh Man, it's not holding a phone while now i. Don't need to see. owner. When the to rich professionals have dinner, they are going to be sitting right next to each other at. Opposite ends of the long. Now. You're talking crazy talking. Should come media. John. John Line Three. Journey. But. Jenny Line three hole on Dana. Good. Yes. About the good deeds tyler it. The credits will say, Tyler Perry presents a toddler movies. Great, he's. The poster itself, The Sun. Is emanating from behind him. It's the most messianic somebody's GonNa. TAP. Yeah not the sun the. Yeah. Yeah. somebody's GONNA tapped him down but will hate it and shit all over it. Yes. Please tell me. Walk. On any more often I'm way off John, I'm on Bizarro. What's going on John? John You? You played the guitar on the Taboo to soundtrack I'm the guy you'll as charged. This is you. and. All. Yes. You. Think, know this song. No. ME. I'm going to be opening for Van halen singing a tablet. He can do more then. He. Does. This approach? Oh. Yes, he. How old were you when you played this? Twenty five years old. How does it work, hound? You become a legendary guitar? Like. Now you playing to as. You know and all those movies of famous. They're scoring north by northwest and they're playing the movie on the big screen, and you'll see the Orchestra Carey grant running from this guy like tit faulk detail. Just, like I'd offer poking its head out of the. Of An? Awesome. No, it was. At. All I think we're in a mini, mall. At four in the morning when the guy that wrote that Song Leon. Is. The tightest guy. Ever ever. I think I may twenty five dollars a night. All right now. All right. Let me get this straight. What year? Is it? What years? That's like a admitted at eighty to eighty? Porn producer very generous with his money. Yeah he was really generous I'm telling you. It was probably for the whole thing. It was probably a hundred bucks which like Adam would say in today's dollars, it's like one hundred and two dollars. You're you're you're fresh off the road with the stones. You get a little time to kill. So you're twenty, five, twenty, five, play the guitar. Well, I was doing casual casuals are like this casuals are like bar, mitzvahs and weddings. Not Regular when you're not the house band, you're shit to make money. Right, and you're you're you're covering a lot of songs and doing stuff like that. Exactly. Exactly. And Somehow I, meet this, Guy Leon and and I'm from Venice and I've got these other guys are like my rhythm section and and he started. We'd start doing these gigs. He's wedding gigs and he says, have you ever worked in the studio and I said now I'm but I'm, I'm trying to get into studio playing and he says, okay. So I've got this coming up and I, need a bass player and drummer as well and I said I got him. I got him and he says a great. I'm really excited now who houses a sedates and you don't know what it is yet. No. Now. Do you know first off? Are you familiar with taboo one? All right number. One shame on you. Remember, that was the subtitle of Tabby. Shame. Shame on you. Familiarized myself with it and did you have any part of gotta get it on? GotTa get it on. Oh, baby. That's me. That's. Where we figured out what we were doing. Oh Yeah. That's and his. Brother and a sister. Layer emotions. Yes. Yeah. And now did somebody to you the plot of taboo before you plugged in the Qatar. No No By the way, just for the just for Dana. Is, not. A spy thriller. No junior is having sex with his sister and his mom now. Others as as a step relationship or is. This is. This a lot. And they do that. They do they do the move they used to do in every eighties and seventies porn movie, which is the chick objects at the beginning like imagine if you'd mounted your mother and Around we're talking about. Very beginning, she'd go. Dana, and then at certain points, she'd be like Jane. Would work that would work. So that's what happened. I want to know the singer, I wanNA know the lead singer. And I want to know if she's alive or was killed by townspeople. Like, angry people at tortures coming apart. Well, that's the kicker and all this. You know we did the guitar. Just. Worse. Here's the I wanNA hear. GotTa get it on while you're talking. Here, is my mother singing in the background oh you had. You had to do the wall while ago. Sound. It is. It's ironic that. You know we did this. Girl singers fills Phil speculate. Spunk. Now. What? Does, your mom is in the background yelling gotta get it on. You gotta get it on. The when it says Ou may be I to be. Go around and. That's Only I'd hold on. We gotta hear it. You tell your mom like it's it's a cartoon. It's a Muffin and you're talking to some blueberries and trying to get them into the mix. Together. So the movies actual taboo theme, the taboo theme spilled over into real life. It's. Life Imitating Art. For instance. Story. Neither. I WanNa, hear your mom. I want to hear your mom's also the. GotTa be going and coming with you. Thank God faith, Qatar work quiet while you lifted. There was. Good, this is the lead singer. Donna the lead that got to get it on girl. Just your mom here. Now. down. The middle or the end. smokey Philadelphia saw sex. Marcelino. Very. Young Americans, I thought I was listening. Now. It's your mom. Subtext here called. Yet the little baby that's out admirably. Very complex. Yeah. A lot of layers. How much would you say again, Gel, man? It was nothing. You know he he he thought that he was doing us a favor by giving us our first video Yeah. Yeah. Here. and. We go to the premier. Euros over with her boyfriend. Girlfriend of watching the premiere. By the way intermission at the premier's where the guy runs out of quarters. A mother. I? WanNa be all we need. We need plums and paper towels. I watch porn with my mother and her boyfriend. One to food. Should you get to walk the off white carpet? Now, wait a minute. Did you go to the Premier with your mother? Wouldn't separate cars man. But you both sat there and watched taboo to at a movie theater. They took this very seriously. Then you know the actors. The crew were all expected to go. Here's my. Guys walking to your seats. You look like you're in a giant Roach. Motel. The. Worst was I. didn't even get laid. Rubbing up against all those people. No Pun intended with me late. But no. Hotshot Twenty Five Zero Guitar Player. Interesting, and then was your mom. You did. She do that thing where like? Well, somewhere in act two when junior was fucking sister I lost interest. But then he got he won the audience back at AC three when he started raping smother like. This, guys actually discuss the filming. Of course, not never talk to her about it. In, the room sleep right away knows where to draw the line. Bill. His mother into record orgasmic sounds from the soundtrack of a porn movie and attend the Premiere with her. GonNa talk about. Weird. I'd say John How what about you? First, when did hear me talking about this? If I. Don't know if when you were on Kayla sex I, heard it or for the podcast. But you and I met I, I'm a real estate agent now. Thank you. I was just about to say I WANNA. Sell this house to you. Got Some. Offer. Last on a hung himself in the. Leave. Ain't no such thing is goes with really sure. GonNa help me so. I was thinking. Neighbor special and he will poop in the pool. God. Made Them. How can you judge? A Harry reams by the way sells real estate now, and there was a story talking mother. Yes. Somehow real estate guys when they when they the porn world going out the past year. Doing real estate. So. Then Guitar player Yes did anyone so I'm the only person to your. Cross up, it goes from I'm going to put this in you to I want to put you in this, right? and. If you're not gonNA use the house, we can rent it out on support. Sure. There is Harry Reams of Oh by the way circa one, thousand, nine, hundred, seventy, five is Geraldo. Rivera. You'll have to see the pictures I John. You've brought sunshine to my life. I've made me a happier man. I'm GonNa get you the master tapes and the. Charts you put in. Lia? No other called Master, Tony, can I. Guess You Quick Question John So? Did you work as a studio guitarist for a bit? Did you get? Yeah, I was trying to make it in the music business by age twenty, nine, I was out of it though the light at the end of the tunnel is going the wrong way. Right, who Tommy, TEDESCO is. Sweating. He was a great guy. He was my friend's father. He is my well. Yeah Denny's one of my best friends. Jenny knows me well. GonNa, call. Porn, Star. Data. World is really crazy small and he's a filmmaker. Yes. The green critters. Amazing. Oh, this is crazy. The rest of the backup bay at the Batman the session. Yes. Teddy Tedesco was the guitarist and the wrecking crew. There's A, there's A. Tiny. Today confusing. There's a Tommy Tedesco or Terry. TEDESCO WHO's a male porn star? Two, thousand, I know anything about. But. He, we happen to. You tell me which ones Geraldo. Rivera? RAN which one is. Harry Ramos. Crazy that we have a friend in common randomly calls in. France. La. Local because I grew up here. Yeah. Everybody's two degrees of separation. been here since eighty nine, but denny's now north. All right. Thank you John and find me by the way. It's like a make a wish foundation for guys who beat off in the hampers Now I gotTa Find Terry Tedesco the porn star. Tommy or? Tommy is the father. Teddy. His son Denny's brother. I'm telling you. There's a porn male porn star from the eighties and. Early. Nineties named Tommy Tedesco or something like. I walked him this real quick. I. Walk Into My Denny Tedesco House, and there's guitar on the wall like Lucite frame signed by a bunch of stuff and go. What's that? He goes on. That was my dad's guitar. What did he plan that he played was on pet sounds in that album. Good vibrations. He played guitar the munsters theme. If you WANNA know why everything back in the day, it really cool documentary on it by the way. That he made. Great. and. If you WANNA know why you know the Mamas and Papas sounded so damn good. Is was held lanes. A whole bunch of really good players behind them. Oh. That's I'm so glad you saw that movie he. Was Great. Great. Great documentary. All right. We have a question for Dana. We had. Oh, our caller from Australia. Did he fall off? Okay. All right. So we have the tambourine player from on Golden Blond Oh. Okay. Well, let's check. Jason. Adam, you have a question for Mr. Dana. Gould. Question Crystal First of all I, don't know how I can. Even follow up you. Don't drive yourself. That's right. Thank you. Own The porn movie you never. Played. Guitar on. Legalzoom, it's a new world out there man a lot of challenges. If you need legal help to overcome your challenges, might I suggest legalzoom the great mark arrogance, US legalzoom and tells people the US legalzoom who come to him all the time because he's too expensive, and there's so much of the stuff that you could take care of with legalzoom wondering the best way to protect your family. Think about starting a business. When a legal questions, you don't want those legal questions to hold you back legalzoom helping with. With the right solutions for over nineteen years protect your family with a will or living trusts start a business with a DA LLC or nonprofit get started online. If you need guidance, their network of attorneys can provide advice legalzoom. They're not a law firm, so you won't have to leave your home and you won't get charged by the hour. It's Legalzoom, right? Dawson visit, legalzoom, DOT com today to take care of some important things you need to get done. That's legalzoom. Dot Com legalzoom were life meet legal. Now, Dana Gould. Back in twenty twelve. Adam Corolla show one of my favorite guests comes in and Mike Lynch's favorite guests from former producer, Mike Lynch, and now who. Writes all that books. At Mike Is. He's just the Danish biggest fan. And he Larry's dude, I shall be the same without Dana. Met Him at the original laughs for Ball Brian Charity event. and. He was one of the kindest people have. Ever, I agree, and still just one of my favorite guys to call and ask come in because he's always very gracious and I know he may differ with Adam. A lot politically. But he always says the one of my favorite things, politics, politics, people are people and he loves Adam. I've heard every episode of this podcast, they don't actually disagreed on it's. Ninety nine percent what happens is Dana doesn't always get all the information like he was recently complaining about Joe Rogan's saying masks are Forbi-, choose unaware that Joe is kidding and it was the rare instance of his podcast where he was trying to make bill Burr GONNA rant. So he was saying fake opinion, we had a mask in his pocket because he wears. Wears masks and then his guest Eddie Pepe Tomes asking about Adam Corolla. And then Dana appreciate. He was anti mask for like, nope. They didn't even know that curl is not at maximum. So it's just a misunderstanding and not having full information. So Dana will bring that up and always defend Corolla. But in reality they actually way more than I think either them. No. See can masks we now have masks in the Adam Corolla store down dot com check at the store and their gators it are, and it can be used as face masks while supporting the podcast. All. Right. Let's get. You gotta go and Geo. Let's go on with another clip. This one are going fast for two months later to. April twenty twelve and this one features. Paul F Tompkins very funny. Man Cruel show seven hundred, ninety two, this one was recorded on April second released April Third Paul. Tompkins making his first and only appearance on the show. He's a dream gas people always wanted on he appeared on Adam Corolla show too late which a lot of guests did, but it's almost like they were burned and never used again on atoms shows coin shows podcasts, and it's unfortunate. Was Paula Comeback oxy's Larry's the brilliant CFP and cruel show seven, ninety two. Yeah back with Paul Tomkins. The first tile all time. You're a lot of acting ICU A. Lot of stand up. Hosting, do it all at them? Yeah. A lot of people I. Think I saw you in the last man standing on the Tim Allen. I forgot about that. Yes, he did. I mean at minimum, most most stand up sorta crappy actor. That is true. And then I think you're not for standup. You're horrible standup. I am the I'm the Olivier of. Actor. Better. Rodney Dangerfield. This. Hack. caddyshack was literally just like stuff from his act that he writes wandering around. Get a free. Ball. Kara. Yeah but no, there's there's a certain finesse to Paul Tompkins. Female for Camera Sitcom or. So. That's nice to be able to do that I, only people on planes can see me as well. That's right. That's true because they will run those ABC sitcoms ever been on a plane when they played you. And then have you walked sort of obnoxiously up and down the aisles because that's what I would do. I have I. have had that experience I would and A. jetblue flipping through the channels you catch your. Food. Up PD. Holding a little bit of foliage. Taking your virgin, finally, I could stop dvr in the show. To catch. And the person next to me, I stopped on the show that I was on and I can't remember what it was like some clip show or something and I. was waiting to see if the person next to me was going to see that I was on the TV, and then I thought wait a minute. I'm the one watching the. This person watching. duckie the discovery or something. I have to change the channel immediately. I those the clip shows that Paul's done a ton of and I used to do to I figured out, they'll fuck with you because they'll go like, hey, we wanted to this funny thing. We're talking about Ricky Martin and you go all right and then they'll interview and you'll go. Oh, I love Ricky, Martin. Except for I don't Caq and they'll cut that part on the go I. Love Ricky Martin, and then they'll just cut to someone from different strokes and you'll go wait a minute. You're just using the part of. The last surviving. Ernest meter, right? Yeah. They do a lot of that with that. So many times where I real. Then it finally dawned on me, it's like you can't ever not be funny. So I started the setups to the things as insanely as I could share. So I could never be caught road just if. Anything. Straight. Yeah. Exactly. Paul F Tompkins by the ways got himself a one hour stand up. Special. That's going to premiere Saturday April Twenty First Olympia them on Comedy Central Laboring Under Delusions which also the consent uncensored and extended dvd out April twenty fourth. You can get on Amazon and you know what that means. Maybe you're going to Amazon you go through our website. Go pick up some on Amazon good. Keep the pirate ship afloat. GOJAM Krolak I'm click on Amazon banner then gets off Tomkins. CD. Everybody will win and win some more so. That's the one. How many one hour specials to be done. This is my second one. And both were comedy central. And you go out and you'll shoot usually two shows in one night, right? That is the typical thing. Yes. So where the same shirt of bring an extra sweat through I went, right? Exactly. Yeah, and every. Every time I talked to anyone who does these things they go? Well, you do too, but you end up just probably used second one anyway. But they never go used to, and it's a good thing we did because we tackled back and forth constantly. Well. This is the thing. So I only did one show this last one that I did because I. Show. That's right. I just think toys. Immediately again. I've been doing a long time and you know knowing that I've been through that your teeth. Well, it's unnecessary. It's like because you can because you can stop Donald something goes wrong. The audiences. Especially, you're in Los Angeles like they've. Probably, been TV tapings before, right there enough. You could say are screwed up. I'M GONNA, take out again, start from there. What did you think and I thought it was was one of those things where Chris Rock did his last one a few years ago and I thought it was a really cool device, but then I realized bumped me because Ho here he is in Tokyo telling the same joke, he said Argentina's. And they edit it so that it's it's he begins the sentence in London, and then he finishes it in Chicago or something. Right, and it's it's it seems like a cool idea when you think about it, and then when you see it, it shatters the little illusion of realize. Yeah. Here, nine years not seeing an original show like at all either word, it's one of those things where you go. That's a cool idea, and then you see it and you go not so cool. Yeah, and maybe it was too late and it it seemed like a great idea. But yes, it's sort of stepped on the illusion of comedy. So wow. I know. I. Hope it wants some sort of Emmy know. And by the way if you WANNA preorder my book and my plan by the way for all you kids is. Coming out number one on New York. Times. Bestseller list. That's right. The man who barely graduated North Hollywood, high demand who graduated with a one point, seven GPA, and that is with six as from football and baseball these to give back. Then imagine if I back those out of my one point seven. GPA All. Meter Academic Probation at Valley College functionally literate, and we can debut at number one number. Like Taco Bell should give you an honorary employee name tag or something. He's talked about wouldn't hire him. Hence, the title, Not Taco Bell Material. Asks? Oh. Yes. It turned down for a job ripping tickets at a movie theater. What. More do. I. Keep going long way short. That's dangled I didn't get a chance. Why I don't think this guy's got the stuff. Let me see your hands. Bricks. Paulo. Europe this ticket. Because it looks like your work none of that was Jerry, I have risks. was great at the interview. They said tear paper. What you can do, there's all son-in-law smaller acute ecoles nor the intestinal fortitude or. Maybe, another theater. Amount of demand that's called man for risk. Well. I know like I. Just thought the I. Thought they application at Taco. Bell was a formality like I didn't know they actually review it and go. Well, you can't work here and letting must have been a fucking astor it on my right hand for references and things like that. It was at that kind of. Well. For. Your TACO portfolio padded up with goals. and. Lord of the Rings and DEL TACO and there's You know really what attack really old west coast rest. Of nockles used, you will fine. We'll find something that you're. Talking about. Part of IT I. Was One of those places that was sort of like the von's markets when the John's. Like I, think I think del Taco took over the novels that that could just be me, but you'll. You'll see when you see the Nagase you'll go. Unappetizing. Perform. It'd be burnt off at the at the podiatrist born August. They can correct those now brought up before that. You're part of a very, very small fraternity. Now of people who have been hired to endorse the companies that wouldn't hire them as teenagers. TACO bell commercials. Well. Well, here's very small group. It's it's. It's microscopic group because in order to not be hired. Deliberately not, Taco Bell Material at age sixteen, you have to have you know a cleft palate or hair lip or some sort of fizzles our jobs to I'm just saying you have to have something you have to be grotesque physically like something wrong or you mentally impaired such point and you're holding a bong when. Right right. You're actually dipping your quilt. In the car. So. That's how you have to be. So now that guy could never be, he's not going to be comedian because if you're smart fast talking and you're charismatic than, maybe it'll be a comedian. But then you'll be hired by Taco bell. If you're functionally illiterate and semi-retarded, then you'll not be hired by TACO, but you're not going to go off to host demand show. So it'll be one. told him. One day I'll be working for you for scale this time body. Got, what scale was. Still had the last time I through my scarf on my shoulder, and I walked to another walked into the fire. Have those back there. Geno good day. I'd like to talk to the guy who was selling the notion of the firepit in front of the Taco Bell back, it'll be huge ball of fire. I sort of, don't you think people might by twenty, nine, hundred tackles without the ball of fire I mean, how much should it going to cost us? Falls in and is we put their straws and they're really I've made my decision huge ball of open flames in front of the huge firepit. Now, we gotta find novels and the huge in the huge firepit. Sorry. Didn't Nagas to have an alligator filled moat and flew. Its Tall it's twenty four hours. Talk Tacos. Ugly I. will say something about Nagas. Juice was thinking Burrito. Look, how look how retro that Menu Look? Nog there used to be well, that's what we call the there used to be the one that was on like melrose highland or something, and I think that's the one that turned into talk about. But the one that about the Tacos not hurt by the twenty four hours, you know what I mean like like you know. They're certain foods where you go, you know filling into blanket. Salad at four. Am I don't think. She Sushi twenty four hours Sushi that doesn't sound tacos is one of those. It's probably going to be better for him than it was at two pm because you're going to be drunk and not not so crazy for. Private detective. He's the best. Prepare food. costumers fast keep place clean does Dick. I like, who in with technology? We do it. We do it. Every business starts off with some founder guy saying offer people bargain at a fair price. But at some point, some astle takes it over runs it into the ground. There's no doubt. No one ever goes, Hey, I want a lot of rape into the customers and some gouging. County that we started with a good honest prices honest back even if we sacrifice quality do it. That's right. Thanks. McDonald. Ray. KROC. Will take over from me but. Yeah there's the NAGAS everybody. Well, anyway I patted my resume with. All right. What we just did a twenty minute spot for business that hasn't existed. I think novels, I would say. Working Construction I think that there was a Naga lls. And Melrose, and like I used to eat there, and like the eighties I think, may have made it into the eighties early, ninety target probably prime spot. juggernaut known as del Taco just just took over, just just mowed them over aright. You want to do a little made up movie. Can we do that? Let's do. All right. I'll tell you what space on. Mayan prophecy. Hero would rise to turn your movie titles. Into blockbusters. That hero is Adam Corolla. That could be and this is made We, got the titles up there. People just through these tweeted us these things it was based on. When was this Gary? Did you show me this today or is this Matt Find Allaire? It was matt fondly hold on Brian. I said Matt. Said of twice. More time. On the porcelain punishable flush. Yeah. He said boss have seen the trailer, this new movie and I think I had. But he said you and bill. Simmons. Definitely going to be seeing today with Guy Pierce. It's cannon. Yeah. Here we go. It's coming in two weeks, words most secure prison. Usually, the second most secure. Up there in the rankings code Let's say perennial talk Toyota, you're so miserable report secure prisons. Let's say secure enough for you. Want. My daughter on a goodwill mission on that stage show. White House. One man who can get. Snow. He's the best. But, he's a loose cannon. We need to tighten up these canons. Yeah. He's the best areas, but he's a loose cannon took wisecracks on the job. As. By his own rules, it's one of the most secure prisons on the planet, and there's only a handful of guys. The could possibly. gettable. Dozen way under wonder Baker's does shortlist. Yeah. It's double digits under Baker's dozen. Any of these dudes really will be fine. alphabetical order. Well, let's do it on a based on a bail ability because obviously when you're somewhere near the best you're usually employed. That's the thing whether you paint houses or a or you're. You're an accountant. If you're good, you're gonNA have a GIG but I'm going to write them down in the order of my preference Let's start making calls start at the top down to the body yours out a few at a time, but don't leave. More than ones available. Big Deal out of it, talking trash other I. I, just I just rang Snow Oh. What is he said he's one of the best. He doesn't play by the rules. Go by the book when he plays by pamphlet that smaller easier. Can Carry. With him. And he said most importantly, this is second to last shop. One more after this. That's it. One more probably could be somewhat careful. says. Do. This'll be a winding down. Right. This will not be as last GIG. And he's not retired. So we're not taking him out of retirement, but he's close to it, and this'll be amongst his last jobs. If he were a cannon how tight? Would you say he is at this stage toy. His He's barreled. He's got rifling. But he's. He's a little bit. I wouldn't call them sloppy or loose. But let's say you to put an extra hole in his cannon belt to be that kind of thing I got I got so and he says, he works with a couple of guys. He doesn't work a lot. Oh. Okay. Friends. Dear friends. We are trying to make room for those guys up the budget of bit I. Guess. Yeah. And they don't play by the book either but they go with his pamphlet. So he's sort of in charge any filters down with the pamphlet. Definitely. Doesn't work along because he gets lonely. Liking blame. Yeah. It makes the job go by faster pal. All right. So that guy should work. Right. Like my guy. NAGAS. Him Up. That he's been thinking about getting back in the game. Sworn. And off when he lost his daughter, here's what. You've got three rules. Yeah, and he does not deviate from being nice to customer. Right? He plays. Number three. There are no rules. Yeah. So we could use a guy like that because when Dick Novels says it they. The president's daughter is on the asteroid with maximum security prison. Goodwill goodwill. Feel, like go to Haiti if you want to do goodwill mission, well, how you going into the focus maximum-security Astros? Goodwill missions to prisons. Yeah. Do they are they? Are they worried about the prisoner who can't vote? I don't know after watching prison movies and then want you like any prison shows like in the yard or something real. fucking boring, super slow, talking Mexican guys like I don't know why stab? Food's good and. I, Miss my my daughter, but anyway. Like. Where Cyrus the virus and the guy's crazy TAT's in different colored is you know normal prisoners. Tone. The cameras on, kick it up a notch. Would you fun with it? But you know I think those guys, they avoid the camera because they're they because they love it. They don't do it for the glory. They're just they're just boring the real, the real prisoners, even like even the multiple murder. So no and in the movies. Anyway. I will be there. I one again. All right. I see a movie that I like. It's hand. Well, Andrew Han. Well, gave us the tweet. It's called hard land. Okay. Now, dig this. ooh. Wow. I'm bringing it around I'm bringing it around. Kevin Costner. Flies Air Force One. Pilot Air, force. One. Right Has a tough landing. They. They call it pilot error, but he always knows it's like what some bad potentially omit or valve or something. You know some bad hydraulic hose or something, but but the Boeing or the main the people that make you know, of course, they're not. They're going to pin it on Costner. He's drummed out. Now, it's now twelve years on. hard-drinking Bush pilot working out of Alaska, just getting work where he can find it. He's the best crummy. Crop well, so much of that in Alaska. That just fighting. Close enough, the Alaskan Bush pilot to the guys are in their flying in and out, and you know he's great and he's got. He's got and at some point there some super-rich business guy, and he's out on one of those. He's he's. He's. He's out on salmon fishing thing where the go into the lodge and they do the whole thing. Plane crashes gotTa Keep Them Alive. It's basically it's redemption. He has a daughter. Everyone blamed him for the hard landing that put that fucked up the president, neck. Wheelchair put him in a wheelchair. FDR. Numerous chiropractors try. That's right. Seventy had to take the fall. Yeah. So I think there's got to be. There's gotta be a little element has got to be that element of somebody wants these guys. You know, what was that Alec Baldwin movie where he was out there with Sir Anthony? Hopkins Anthony Hopkins Yeah Yeah Yeah. It's air force, one meets the edge. So how about if there's also costumes got a daughter WHO's got some. She's got some disease or something like that. This rich Guy He's got some sort of pharmaceutical company something like Oh, right He's got this thing that is the only thing. Save Costner's daughter or Costner's daughter died. Because this guy? Keep this drug off. That's right. So even though costumers an ax to grind with this guy, he's still going to save his life. Yeah, and teach them a lesson. About. Humanity. Right. Right. Right, but he's not gonNA. Let bitterness consume has that moment where the guys hanging off the cliff and he's holding the robe. And he says. Do. You know the name Dakota McMahon. Should, she's right daughter. She's one of the nameless faceless many you've killed. I should let this God Damn Roco Right. Now she needed with five. That's right. That's right. Under insurance. COPAY was way too. Maybe. I'm getting too wordy. He'll hold on makes graph I. have. A contracted rate for paying with cash? Now. Guy Played by Gene Hackman. ooh. Yeah. Good luck retirement. Retie. By the rules. Loose cannon. And Ryobu. One last score for flashback scenes, co fannings, kid sister, Elle. Fanning Elle fanning right. Why do I know that? I? Don't know because you're pedophile. Yeah. Ashton, answer tightrope hard landing Air Force One Bush pilot now. Okay. It's the guy from. And we make up the we take, we take the We take the drug company and we call it like, Elax? Star. Something retake like a couple of drug things. Put it together. Okay, you guys see anything you like. What do you like up there? How about playmaker? Havi has t up How about you? Know, how to work for confident? You're right on the Gulf though about. Dave, chapelle sort of tiger woods type and his images ruined has a scandal sexto ruined and you want to get back in the game. So the ability, but he's lost all its endorsements. He's out. He's out the. White Guy. He's got to go as a white. Same thing. Reverse soul man who put whiteface? Who is this great white Gulf of nowhere spend? Golly. Like you know PR person who like manipulates the whole comeback plans. All thing gets. Hot Young wife or whatever and. Adopts a kid hooks them up with a new caddy and all that stuff and? You'RE GONNA find. It's hard to believe Chapelle Fosse for the PR lady falls for the PR. Lady. Comeback. Plays her because I. FRIZZ. Yeah. I don't know I. Liked the part. I like the part where he becomes to white guy that's going to work. Even yet. He's learning how? Is. It all just funny thing yet, he's. mentored by grizzled former pro golfer disgrace. Pro Golfer. Rip Torn. Damn exciting stuff. Knows the boys network. Control that controls golf. We all know the PTA let's. All right. Let's do one more Paul. have one or allison. Do you have one on palled choose if he wants to? Say blindspot. From Antonio Babic Matthew mcconaughey he's an advertising executive. he has sold his soul to sell junk people who don't need it. And he's a master of of arresting visual ads cause people to get in a car accident. The beginning scene. Yes him top of the world walking through the offense. Yeah. Looking Great. Right. Everyone kissing his ad trying to hand him thing is he knows everyone's name. There's some sort of funny exchange with coffee, young women lean out of there. To Watch. You know, and then he has the hot secretary who asked to basically explain that two chicks fucked are on the line simultaneously and she found these drawer last night. We had this thing where it's like any pulls up in in the vintage convertible. Jag. You know, and by the way parks are every once it's crowded Manhattan, it's right in front of the building live doesn't appear to even shut the car off, pull the keys out hops over the passenger seat and starts walking into the front of fracas part of every thing where they are. Yeah. There's never any fucking elevator, the park nine keep circling around some. They just pull right in front the Manhattan Spun. Jump Right on Broadway. Jump out and then getting into their high-rise, there's no holding the key card are the key thing, air? Flash. On. The way. It worked at. Park. Right in front and the high. Rise Prom Doorman. Asked or. Boston out real good. Yeah. So good look. Any staffer he's He's juggling the phone calls. He has too many hot chicks called them at once. But what happened E. Salad? He struck blind in a freak accident do. and. So now he can't rely on his keen visual senses anymore. People think he doesn't know what stuff looks like. So he has to now, this is how he learns about the world around him and what a shallow person he's been because he's been relying on just the one way of looking at things. Jennifer Garner is the secretary who finds out. He only sees her beauty after he loses his sight. And if that moment were touching, right, we takes her glasses off, of course you. Guys, tips, grazing her double chain, which you have in this movie, guys can't do the fucking classes hair nwabunne math like L. Punch and had her hair. Who is at cow, how she's blocking a five year? Old Crone. Back to the old bombing. Yoga. You're discussing. We. Couldn't tell. Had fucking. Glasses. They're hearing about and we'd never just can't do that math fucking impossible I can't tell. This it over and over and. then. Once he finally redeems himself. By. This campaign? That is just like it's like a blank billboard. Somehow. Everyone. Like I. Get it. Yes. Because when he regains his sight. And he's redeemed and he. Donates all his money to this. Clinic for, the, blind, who whatever. And he retires on some island with with Jennifer. Garner. Good. Yeah. Because he kept some of the money, that's right because we. All right I like that blind spot like we got some winners here. Hell. Return in made a movie. He was blind. Can Tell lost his sight. And then he got it right back and turned right back into the pricky was before. I. Feel like I'd be right back and prick mode seconds after I. got my sight back our double down on the perpetrators now. Visible. Yeah Oh. It turns out. Immune to blindness. Tortured? Just be like. Is there anyone around I have to far? Is there anyone in this room today? Okay. farting. You'd have to announce when you're pardoning, right. Be. Horrible. Lifelock two thousand and nineteen data breach of MGM resorts impacted more than one hundred and forty, two, million hotel guests. That's right. The hackers took the data, put it for sale on the dark web cybercrime marketplace man, it's going for twenty, nine, hundred bucks at that could be your information. It's important. Understand how cybercrime and identity theft are affecting our lives every day. Put our Info on the Internet and you're out there. Now look, it's convenient. It's great. You're ordering things ordering food, you're taking care of business. You're doing it all from the comfort safety of your own home. But your info is out there. lifelock detects a wide range of identity threats like your social security number for sale on the dark web, protect yourself with lifelock Dawson, not you prevent all identity theft or monitor all transactions at all businesses. Lifelock can see threats that you might miss on your own join now and save up to twenty five percent off your first year by using Promo Code Adam call one, eight, hundred lifelock or dot com use Promo Code Adam for twenty, five percent off. Now. From April twenty twelve. Paul F Tompkins on the. Adam. Corolla show. Now, I'm really excited. We're going to go past the episode one. Thousand Marks. Episode Ten Twenty Six, and this features the triumphant return of musician Lisa Loeb. Now, can you give short history of why lease alot is so? Ingrained in the Adam, Corolla show history. She, of course, pure in love line. But this is more about the morning show while they were doing it was coming one day and Mike Dawson showed up particularly fresh show. Spring in his step in notice that one him. What's going on Dawson in Dawson's like going out with Lisa Loeb ads like. We'll say what is your date? He's like, no I'm an aspirin that we might go out like Oh really now, and so the the everybody on the show is now aware that Dawson was going to try to day with her. So they were gonNA, try to set it up when she came in studio and it did not go well for Mike Dawson, because she was getting out of relationship with the marijuana fan at the time. But. But, she was not interested in going back to new one and she was very kind and polite to him, and we played the clip or something that had part of the clip before. But probably will be playing in the future, and this is her coming back on the show and she plays live and studio No Fairytale. This is for manual show ten, twenty, six, March of two, thousand, thirteen Lisa, Loeb Alison. Rosen Brian Bishop, check it out. Go Lisa Low in studio. Great. She is rated. No Fairytale. Get. It together, Dawson. He's all over the place because he's smitten by you. As we all are know, fairy tale name. Now available on Amazon, you know to do WANNA put a little wind in the sales of the pirate ship made eash. Dot. com, click on them banner and you get the Lisa low bound. No Fairytale. Good. See again you too and by don't just listen to it for free. That's what we do. These days we watch music. Yeah, well. Now Awesome I have family members who are in a book. I wrote saying hey read fairmount of it on Amazon good. You're in the book you know and squeeze the trigger Sweetie I know enough they put a lot. Thank you. That's how I got rich. My father's a doctor and people come in all the time who are very, very sweet and they tell them that they bought the record and I. Say you know what? That's impossible. I've seen exactly how many people have bought the record in Dallas and. Well or or or I think people can use the bought it with. They. You know. They confuse things with I've actually listened to it and I've purchased it with I. Know who you are. I've seen you be. Yes. I mean, it's flattering. They made it to be flattering and I, appreciate that, but it's also wonderful and they take that extra step. Dollars. I, I have found and I've always, I've never been this. Hey, man, it's the Internet and it's art and it's Freeman. It's like, no, it's. It's not. It's somebody putting a lot of work into something and it's money to pay engineers and there's equipment and there's there's time and everything else. But. I think there's an interesting thing that go that's going on in our society and you tell me what you think Lisa Loeb. Money used to count for more because you held it in your hand. Oh. Yeah. That's right. You gave it to people and it's like you felt that and I, know a lot of people that just kind of go through life. A lot of my friends, wives and a few dudes out there that they never really come across money. It's like I got a credit card, I got a debit card. I got gas card, and it becomes of easy because you never really see it or feel it. Right? It's like pretend and avery I was thinking about this. To. No one would ever lean into your car with the window open and grab your CD off your passenger seat. You're right when you can add. Danjabbo. Like. Decent person would do that. But Hey, if you can share file for free somebody else maybe purchased it and it's going to give it to you or let you download it or whatever. That doesn't feel like leaning into someone's car just like it just like swiping the debit card doesn't feel it's so much easier to take all your girlfriends out to Sushi, when you're swiping the card versus peeling off like when you pay for gas and you pay for it with credit card, don't even take the receipt. I don't even want the receipt. You, but it's like buying a pair of jeans or something. Just buying jeans, but but it's gas so and it's not with money. It's tough. Somalian's yeah. Because when you started back in the day. have credit cards and nobody has nobody could go the. There's no. It's true I. I will say though it is a, it is A. Know, I don't always purchase all my money, all my music, either I do go check out music on the Internet, and even when I was a kid, we all made mix tapes for each other. But we all had our albums and we'd make mix tapes and we'd bring him with US everywhere and share them with people eventually. Sometimes, we'd buy the records. It was kind of fun, and it's a thing that are will never really really have I mean that. Hitting it just right I, remember getting the ninety minute cassette and hitting pause. Just right. Skipping ahead to the next song, then timing it out. Right. You know. So run out of tape at the end or have. Enough at the annual, keeping the counter and everything, and we all knew a couple of short songs. We've just been at the very end of a side of it's only have ninety eight seconds left. Stupid like I used to teach boxing classes. So I had like my mix tape boxing. Fast Fun one and then I got dumped again. Tape Do you do you still have them? I still have those. Dumped again tape, but I do have a lot of mix tapes still listen to them. You have a cassette, play them I in my car somebody, ripped it off in my car. My car cassette player in my car. Razi side. It's awesome. It's not very bad. I was still writing music on cassette tapes when I bought the car. Did. By the West. So yeah, having the CASSATT is I'm looking here and it says that you attended Brown University. Smarty Pants, man. That's an Ivy. League. School. David. My homework. So school. Yeah. What. So what is your? What is your story going back back in the day in the olden days? Well, I listened to cassette tapes and albums in Vinyl in high school I was a DJ and I wanted to be a DJ when I grew up. Because I thought you could play any music, you want it. Turns out. That's what Dj's get to do anymore. But? Yeah, I wouldn't I grew up in Dallas. Texas. And by the way Dj back then meant radio DJ NUT JACKASS IT Club, right? I turned side. I did play parties though I did do parties de actual albums and We didn't. We weren't like those kind of deejays. Is there anything heavier than a milk crate filled with seventies out now? Seriously, I would carry this big to crates, peaches. That was some record store called peaches, huge crates of records like the cure and led Zeppelin and Brian, you know and whatever else I was listening to. Carry these huge crates night into this radio station to play whatever wanted to play and And I used to play electric guitar and and carry an amplifier in an electric guitar too, and I play electric now. But I don't walk around carrying a really huge amplifier and I. Show insane I mean. You talk about all. They should've technology stuff and how it's touched your life and stuff I'm just picturing like A. Nineteen year old Jimmy Kimmel as a wedding. Dj. Coming up with the four crates of records and the stands with the big with the big amps on there and. The smoke gene setting up the table I mean strobe light. You had to have a van. If you wanted to do that for Gig now, just get the ipod. Everyone a smaller girl that one, thousand, nine, hundred, Lisa Loeb with. God carrying crates doing well in school. I was doing well in school and doing lots of other fun things on the side for school and I got into. Brown. University. which was so exciting. Dial. Happy. But you wanted to get far away. I wanted to go someplace where when I visited. Brown. It was rainy and cloudy outside and I thought this is the perfect place for me. Really our like cable knit sweaters and you know study which I I probably Waratah cable knit sweaters, Benetton twitter's remember those. I don't know if I studied as much as I probably should have and then wanted the music i. mean a music was always around. But when did go full-time you all all all freshman year I had a freshman roommate named Elizabeth Mitchell and we had a band together and we played like the first week of school we played, and actually we were going to play the first week of. Of School, it didn't work out because we didn't sign up for the freshman talent show soon, enough or whatever whatever. But we played a few months in and we had a great audience like everyone from our freshmen hall showed up. We had a great audience and we just kept playing and it was all going really well, and I probably focused way more on music than I did on my studies. Dr Dad initially a little disappointed in. Then my mom and my dad were not super excited that I was going to be a musician when I grew up even though they would come visit me at school and I play concerts and they'd come. See me. I was are it was kind of like? I was already doing it. So and I think I was probably just as worried as they were. So I was trying to make it work I. wanted to make make a living being a musician and was the plan to be a working musician. I mean the success that you had I mean having billboard number one song in Nineteen ninety-four. That had to be insane. Right? That was crazy I. It was it was one of those things where I was temp temp a lot as an office temp worker because I type pretty fast and. I owned an Ann Taylor suit. So I would go tim and I did that for a few years and I try to go back to school for psychology at Nyu, but I was still focus too much on music. So I i. all of a sudden I. got this opportunity to put my song day on a soundtrack. Ethan Hawke was a friend of mine. He's an actor. She's a friend of mine and he offered to he wanted to to give that song. Ben. Stiller to see if ben would put that that song to a movie and Ben did the song to reality bites along with a bunch of other people executives who are in charge? So that was a really huge opportunity and it made me quit my temp jobs and and say this was going to be at this. I was going to make music I. mean in retrospect that probably wouldn't have been a good reason just to quit your temp jobs like you. You'd think those kind of opportunities when you're starting out, you think those opportunities, that's it. So happening but it actually was happening, but you know I. Meant to be quit. So or at least temporarily. Are, you married I'm married and I have two kids. Wow. And on my way over here, actually a three year old and an eight month. Old Baby. Wow, I know. Oh. I left them with my husband for the next hour. An homily feeds them and puts them to bed. One of ZAPPA's now it's not. Is it a? Is it a famous person? It's my husband. Really Hershkovitz. Very famous, really her SCOVILLE. The power forward for the for the avalanche. Team play for I. Actually felt like I was in some early eighties movie when I was driving over here in the valley. and that trying to like eat an apple and put lipstick on in the car. Going down, it should have been the send coming up and something about alliens. But I just felt like it was, you know I have the whole family. So you're, yeah, you're a single one of the second to last time or whenever we saw each other and. Number. One single, the show you being single, which may Dawson thank your single. Single. Yeah I am. preference. Hey, are you sitting down by the way Dawson? Yes Dad from Brady Bunch. Gay. Family. They weren't even married. While singer. Dude. Yeah, you can't discuss Lisa's plane single on TV domain. She's available. I was single on TV then. You single when Dawson asked you out. When Goss saying how it'll be so. Good. Otherwise, otherwise yeah, married children. You'd have a little what you got a three year old, just be smoking a cigarette and talking about Avocados right now. because. That's his thing Allen, Parsons. Allan Parsons Yeah Perfect. So. sounds so similar to what's going on in my house, right, and what does your husband do? He works at at Conan O'Brien? Oh as. The show. No. He's working in music production. So you might. Run into him over there. It's a perfect. It's a perfect marriage that. We actually was on the show I was on the show, the other day and So I got to hang out with him at work. That was fun. My daughter keeps talking about Conan O'Brien. She's Conan. O'Brien is very tall. He that's especially when you three years old. He's calls me. That's always felt bad for Andy Richter been, and it's the way everything in life works and just everyone should know this, which is Andy Richter. I've met a bunch of times person. The first thing you think is, Oh, you're not sure. No, he's super tall. Also, he's I duNno six one. Maybe he's not a short guy at all. But if you stand extra guys six or seven, then you're a short guy, that's just the way it goes. You do that math. No matter what. Poor, any Richter could not look shorter fatter standing next to a guy who's taller skinnier than Conan O'Brien, and that's how you will look. This is totally true I'm actually not bald, all everyone. Here soon, always. Yeah, always told. told. I've always said I want a guy to follow me around when I'm rich. I want we're an airplane. I want a guy I got a guy by the way. I got a guy breaking breaks, my shoes in. Right and need another Guiseley. No, I need I needed one of those for my wedding I went in the day before my wedding to say, can you stretch these shoes out for me really and the guy was like you need to be wearing? That's the only way to stretch out your shoes. But I'm getting married tomorrow. Yeah. So I should have hired somebody in New York City to do that. Yeah. Yeah. I. Do they should combine the shoe breaker enters with the dog walkers. Yeah. Wait idea. So solar power. Speed, breaking in enemy hilarious to see, and again, another one great eighty s or ninety six. had. The fifteen dogs we pulled along with a skirt flying up in the? Patrick Dempsey with fifteen dogs wearing pumps. We. Got A ROM COM. You gotta run another song. So. I always think I need a guy with a super huge fat big melon head. You know those guys are the big melon head to get in the picture with me because I'm tired of seeing my big fat head in the picture with the guy with the skinny head. So I want to travel with a guy with a huge. It's not, it's not. That's what I'm hearing. It's medium fat, but I want the fat. I always wanted to be the second fattest head in the picture. You don't want the fattest picture its smallest one too though because you feel like something like this watch that was watch and the eighties and all the faces. A ban from eighties. Yeah. With the you know Mark Martin. Parker man was huge. It was like they'd cut the face out and stuck a different face in there for the Placement Guy. But I always have like in Japan people always say to me like you have such a small face and I never thought about that before it's nice. I don't think about having a small lucky especially when you're looking your face down here and you like on your iphone and you're going down escalator and you look see your face by accident. That's horrible. Monsters like there's a monster in my phone now, I've. Said many times the. Actually only said, it wants the worst mere on the planet is the one in in the barber chair for the barbed chair because they put that cave me. Put that Cape around you and what? You gotta go in just to see what's going on in those places overshot. I'll tell about Linda, they put Cape on you and they'll choke your head off. So Sergio. Oh and my next fat your head mushrooms up. Then they lift me up and then you're kind of looking down on yourself a little. So you just took a big mushroom head with five kids like looking at yourself in this way to well lit area. Neck has love handles. Yes. The right breast Mir on the planet, it's the one on the ceiling in the elevator. Elevator Co.. Telling you what's up do not side mirrors. The. Yeah, we're going hello cheekbone bones. We're taking you to. All. Right Lisa has a Song I. Record bonsor sponsor. Well, I'm GonNa I. Figured you step up and get stuff ready. Oh Yeah. That was my plan. We'll talk. Okay. Cool. Tell me about the new record. We don't want us to talk about. Iraq. Iraq. It's a record CD it's called no fairytale and actually on the front of it. When I took that picture I was pregnant, very pregnant I don't have it on. Yeah Yeah. I was in the middle of May. I made the record really quickly with my friend named Chad, Gilbert, whose in a band called new found glory. Rock Ban. Yeah they're great and. They covered my song stay and they did really punky version of it, which was really cute and asked me to sing on it. I don't know if it's supposed to be cute. It's tough to. Tough. It's edgy. Vida's cute because it was just totally different in energetic and everything. So I sang on it, and later Chad asked if he could produce a record for me and we made like a Punky poppy rock record together. There's a by the way them and see look at you pregnant with a thin face. Then facing pregnancy camera slightly above smart, don't go low with the camera with the Cameron. By the way who are these assholes boy? I'm you know what I'm talking about I'm I'm six two and all I do is take pictures all day long with people after the show at selling this thing that here's a picture thing and these guys you the person hands at the camera, they hold the camera down into fucking belt buckle like eight. Could you make my head. Look any fatter. This is where they flip the. If it's an IPHONE, they flip it. So the Lens is on the bottom right and then they hold it. Yeah. Them down and they're five, nine six. More listen ansel Adams. Just take a little bit above my husband is tall. have some dignity comes from above? Yes. Get an frame ladder. Thank you bring with you. All right. Little love to walk her. Dog Walker shoe breaker in her should ladder who also have a huge head. And in a frame ladder, Lisa Loeb, no fairy tale tuning guitars to make sure you. Citing. Sign. What would my friend my shirt? And I even got teagan from. Tina. Sarah. To she. She wrote a couple of songs on the record. It's nice that you collaborate and give everyone credit. Why? Do people collaborate and they pretend they did it themselves. Well, people tend to leave out other people's names sometimes talking about stuff. They did. I come from a family for kids. We gotta give each other credit. Where else you know? That would be bad. Okay. Play this song. This is called no fairy tale. Prince in. Summer. was. Dragging the. Spring. Could you know? That he took off. SRI. Everything you wanted. Behind the. Castle. Hundred Wide Or. Stall. S No breadcrumb trail. Lead you bed but is just as well that better one. Tried, but you can bear the way, the glitter, and Liu. So you. Lay Down Dream. Of the kids said a week. Time can lead to the seven after. Matiz his real. Laughter. It's not fair retail. No Red? CRUMB. Trail. that. But it's just as well and you can close the book. And curse the turn it back. And tell the story of. The. That One. When The leaves are. Red and gold, and the one had to come along. And cast. But. It's not you. Know. There's no bread crumb trail. You back, but it's just as well. And you can cost book. took. And tell the true story of how. Bad. One A. Bad do. Lisa Loeb. Everybody almost called no fairy tale available on Amazon. You know what to do. That sounded amazing, and it's always so nice. We get so many great acts coming in here and it's it's. It's funny. And Nice when When somebody like Lisa Loeb who you look at and you see the glasses and see the cute little face and you go, Oh, let's that's just so much popcorn, and then you see your pickup guitar and Great. Thank you. Yeah, and I love popcorn. But you know what I'm talking. Your packages. So at tailored, it almost seems like. You can be overlooked. There's not as much substance there because of what you look like and how you come across I'm sure you remember. That in the nineties are actually I wrote the song, the nineties about the nineties with Chad, and it was about that time period and. In one line I wrote, I'm the angel and she's the demon. It's like if you're not you know crazy or something then seven you get. Overlooked or you don't get overlooked, but instead you have to prove that you're not yet. There's something. Can you can have a conversation with a human I remember going into record labels like when I was when? I signed to a big major label. Now, I'm on a smaller label because I had been putting out records on my own with distributors trying to do it on my own because I like being independent, but I went back with small label called Savoy records. But anyway before when I was on the huge conglomerates like the huge, I remember going into these meetings where you were just. was, the strangest thing to feel like you're not going to be heard because you actually making sentence. were. Having marketing meeting conversations and that was like not impressive to them. That was kind of like a bad thing. Well, I needed to walk like barely walk in office crawling with your gun i. don't even know what it is. Is Artists aren't supposed to be saying. Right and I suffer from the same thing as a comedian where I'm just a regular person. But I'm comedian, but I'm less and less artistic because I'm normal or at least percents, right? Right. So you're normal. So artistic, can you be if you're not cutting yourself exactly I, did actually cut myself yesterday. But, that was an accident. Entertain. I opened the the bar sink to get some. Paper Bag from hundred. Yeah. No, that's not. That's not rock and roll open. Feel. And she wanted to see if she wanted to be the one who inflicted the pain on herself for change. I found a Criolla bandit. Bad, online sports are coming back. They just it just keeps opening up. Nice, right. Here's your chance to bet on them with our exclusive partner Bet Online Dot AG. MLB is back NFL camps. They've reopened NBA is in full swing now, plus you have see lots of UFC. You'll see never really slow down boxing a NASCAR. That's cards back to yeah. No shortage of ways to get in on the Action Visit Bet online dot ag today to check out all the odds and Sports News don't forget to sign up and take advantage of the welcome back sports bonuses visit bet. Online dot ag our exclusive partner podcast One and don't forget Promo. Code, podcast one for your free sign up bonus today GYCO. Right now, GEICO's offering an extra fifteen percent credit on car motorcycle RV policies. Fifteen percent on top of the money GEICO could already be saving. Saving you. So what are you waiting for? Let's get to get and man. There's never been a better time to switch to geico save an extra fifteen percent when you switch by October seventh visit, GEICO DOT COM to learn more save that fifteen percent and should be gyco. Anyway, be saving already, and then the fifteen on top of that. If GEIKO DOT com. And that was at least a low playing. No Fairytale Live Studio we've gone on to have. Many, more musical performances and almost every single one classics. Worthy. Because all of them. I don't think there is one that isn't classics. That have a little bit of sound production issues because of the learning curve They're still very special, very special sound. I agree. Yeah, it's. It's. It's kind of the era as well. just the way it was recorded and produced, but Adam also talented musicians bring something. So like even like crappy bootleg, some some artists have really given it. In spite of the with makes it hard to hear. You can hear the energy of that. Right? I. Mean we we have to be the only the only podcast that really. Gets. People, in. Hanson right. What Hanson does in our studio is second to none and we see. The twice. They've inform live and the two different areas in a completely different sounding shows. Beautiful. You got to have the boys back on. Every time they're on, it splits match. They still send US Christmas cards every year. Class such classics. Yeah. And and and sometimes they have cookies with too I. Mean Those Hanson. Boys, they know what they're doing. All, right. That'll do it for today's Corolla classics or return tomorrow with some more more historic moments of the Adam Corolla show and get everybody caught up. So, we'll see there my name's Chris Locks Simona on that superfan. Giovanni. And give on.

Patton. oswalt Mo- Michael Stipe DOT COM Adam Scott Andy Dick NBC Vegas Ozzy partner Matthew Broderick Jimmy Bill Murray Fidgeting Patton Brian Bishop Mickey Astle Pat Alison Rosen Teresa Strasser Asia
Carolla Classics: Eric Bana, Patton Oswalt, and Pete Holmes

The Adam Carolla Show

2:41:36 hr | 8 months ago

Carolla Classics: Eric Bana, Patton Oswalt, and Pete Holmes

"Thanks for listening to the Adam Corolla show on podcast one. Kurla classics is brought to you by GEICO. Look, we're all physically part these days, but we're sharing more. Thanks you the Internet. All of our videos oversell raw connected, and we're sharing more and GYCO would like to say thanks, and now it's GEICO's turned to share to with the Geiko. Give back. That's a fifteen percent credit on car and motorcycle policies for current and new customers gyco committed for the long haul, the fifteen percent credit last year, full policy term actually customer separately from all of this and I received my fifteen percent credit. It is legit ended last month. Tire policy term. That's right so to get yours visit GEICO, dot, com slash give back for Info and eligibility. Walking across the classics for June six Twenty Twenty. Of the greatest moments of the Adam Corolla show my name's Chris Locks Amman executive producer of that show, and with me as always Corolla archivist superfan Giovanni. A. Hoy Geo got some great clips coming up. But first to learn more about GEICO's fifteen percent credit on car and motorcycle policies just head over to Geico dot. com slash give back. Geo this first clip I'm really excited about because it features one of my favorite guests Pete Holmes. We know best from when he had his show crashing on HBO. I I've said it before I think that had. To deal with Adam, getting back into stand up. And they just have a great rapport. Indeed, this is the second appearance Adam Corolla show thirteen, sixty four in honor of D, war veteran hero Pete Holmes from two, thousand, fourteen with Alison Rosen and Brian Bishop. Pete, thank you, Adam! Thanks for having me you are on. You made it weird I. Very much enjoyed my time and you made it weird. It was great and I. I love being interviewed I love the Long-form View I love the person that's just. What I love about the podcasting medium assisted people get to you get to go in depth. Yep, you have you get to ask questions that you could never ask in the late night format or any other format? It wouldn't even be appropriate for me to be like because I didn't know you and I was like I had done your show but I was like. Would you like to sit in a room with me for three hours? Like a weird offer right if we're recording it because of the show Biz and all of us were like. Yeah, that's fine. It's literally how I meet all my social needs these days. That's A. Episode episodes never came out. A lot like porn, which is just said, hey run away and twenty two year old dude. Could you guys just have sex while I kinda chill, they'd be like. Are you nuts, but if you film it Yup? INCENTIVIZES, contacts and legal to then all of a sudden legal illegal up until the point that you presented the cash, yeah, and paid taxes. It is Kinda Weird. I'm curious now. I think about it like if you. Guys essentially worked for free and porn, or they don't have to bring chick with them. Is that true and it can't be family members that I learned I learned the hard way. My mom was not welcome on that. You brought mom Corolla. Said bring a check. Springer show mill. Foreign is the number one type of I don't know why we all skirt this issue. Number one type of porn number one meaning the one I look at the. I'm just going by me. Everybody's The star of their own life. Now I just read that somewhere i. do think the psychological ramifications of what type of porn you like. It says a lot about your mother. No, you were just joking. I don't mean to be armchair cycle. No I'm I'm I'm with you on that? I feel like I'm like meat and potatoes said that. Might bread and butter, meat and potatoes. That's what I want and porn. I never get tired of kitties asked. At a restaurant when you sat down before you order, they just put a basket of meat and potatoes on the table you would. Be Faster. Praise. And a good point name, yeah, very very good. Meat. And potatoes, you mean like a man and one woman having intercourse. Going into vagina but I mean that's not really mean more that would. Know the, but you've gone off menu. That's right now. We're GONNA special menu. What did the chef have? Yeah, he but sex. and. There's a market price for that I mean. That's the thing. I see the, but thing feels like somebody lost the bet like that. Yeah, that's now. What people like guys like a lot of guys in their porn is a little. Bit It's not that we love seeing the by. We love the fact that we know. She hates the by it and that and folks this education. Yes, that's quite a bit of pleasure for us. Candor. Thing about, but a lot of trends do tend towards things that can't be faked. There is no such thing as porn where the guy comes in a ziplock bag. In Japan unless he throws it at the check at the end of it, but it's not like well. Just be over here with my paper towels. No, it's got to be ways the titties. I'm talking about this on stage a little bit I'm not about to launch into a bit. That's not why I'm here. I'm real free listen by my persona, just completely changes I. Stop Looking at you. I think it's interesting. It's tamped. NELL! Girls. down. You gotta get another girl and they're looking it up, jared. Jerry doesn't work white. Things are looking up. Okay, that was a bad sign bill bit for everybody I think porn is fact it's ruining sacks erectile dysfunction. Here's the thing Adam Kroll when you start looking at porn. How hard core Internet pornography! Here's. My relationship with porn dates back to talking about those were AIDS real. Well Nicholas cage going to the mansion and eight millimeter. Well I'm old, so we just landed back in the field and say wait till clouds took the shape of. In that. Straw. Yeah, but we would. We would find you know. Like L., A. Star, magazine and stuff, and you get black and white grainy. Black and white grainy Titi magazine occasionally is such a better mental outlook. You know to have that popping into your life and still having some novelty these twelve year old kids eleven year old kids that have instant access to everything. You know what? Is Today just learned how to how to fucking write cursive? And then they see some mount. That's fucking them up. Because once you're watching all that stimuli and jerking off to it, and your brain is very smart where your brain is also very stupid, so you think you're doing it. You know what I mean. You're watching it you coming. It's it's a sexual experience. Your brain they need. Go with your fucking twelve year old girlfriend. Let's bring it age appropriate. Your eighteen year old girlfriend says she takes her bra that compete with the donkey in the fifteen European women orgies. You can't all these guys the average age of Seattle. Prescription I believe is like twenty four really. That's the same to me. It's not insane. To realize that they're watching constant influxes of people coming on tits, and then you only have one girlfriend and your brain is ripped on. Novelty has worn off, and it's a very good point, which is that relationship that we had with our bicycle, or as I was complaining and lamenting on the show. My kids got an air hockey game. Not a big. You know commercial. Commercial style at the arcade, but just a little sorta home style. Put it together yourself air hockey game for Christmas. They played it for about twenty minutes on Christmas Day, and for about four minutes, the following gay and it's been sitting on the fucking backyard Jimmy. Mildew, they don't give a fuck about air hockey by the way I would've built my childhood around this. Table, we would add earhart guy. He's looking at the clouds and place. That's right. The boys running in stop painting fences. In their overall. Role to the knee, weird sailor hats that have been cutting a serrated fashion. Yes, and I it way back. Yes, I I'm saying yeah, enough with the giant hoop and the stick going down the cobblestone I've something called the air that with hockey. My kids don't give a fuck about this air hockey game anymore. It's sitting in the back. I don't it's it's. It's at the point where I don't want to get them presents for Christmas because they're going to use it. Look at it. I mean even if it's the coolest off wheel off road. Four wheel drive remote control truck myself use it for ten minutes, and then move onto the sixty inch plasma, but we have too many choices that problem with porn, and that's the problem with your kids in their air hockey. Thing is if they did this really interesting experiment I feel like we talked about this possibly. When needed my show I did your show, but it's the thing where like I take you Adam into a room, and I'm like you can have one of these paintings right, and only one of them, and they're just gorgeous reproductions of classic art. Art and you pick one and then in two weeks going to survey to you. How happy you are with that painting! If if I say, you have to pick one and that's the only one you get. Those people are very very happy with their painting. If I say, you can have one of the paintings, and then in a week you can swap it if you change your mind for another painting, people always come back and they swap, and then they're less happy. Sir, on something called the treadmill. We keep getting used to the hedonism in our lives. Who are online dating saying that they're looking for the one I? Believe aren't at all sir. Just it's just about. The next one. On the head because when you're on a date and when you go to Piss I haven't peed year no without looking at my phone since two thousand seven, so you're on your phone on an Internet date and you see how many people send you a wink or a how many profile picks. Everybody's a celebrity. All of a sudden. We're all Steve McQueen well. You know what I thought that the right name of the Yes. That's him. Thank you. This couple things I thought you're going to say about the treadmill. that. And another cruel joke. You could play to people's. You could just have them go into a room with all this fine art and say you can take one painting, or you can take ten paintings, and of course everyone would take ten paintings, and I think you would find that. The people that took the ten paintings were unhappy or more less happy a week from than the person took the one painting right because there's this thing I've always said the guys with the big car collections. Collections like Jay Leno loves cars. He doesn't have any one of his cars that much, because he has three hundred and fifty cars. Then there's that old guy who's got the Ford step side from one, thousand, nine, hundred, ninety five, and that's his baby, and you have drives it down to the BOB's big boy, every Friday night, because that's crews and ninety sits by super super duper. PROUN- every weekend. It's just parked in front of his house, putting another coat of wax on it. And the thing is probably worth nine thousand dollars I mean literally get a used mini cooper with low mileage for the price of what this guy could get, and you could get this all day long on Ebay his, but that's the thing baby. A lot of people are married to nine thousand dollar cars, and they're very happy that we've learned that we go like you can always move on to something better. Something better something better something better. That's why we're always going to keep moving on well. The option unknowing our wives. And I and I do believe that seeing. What else is out there and who has what I mean? If you want to. My Wife, if you WANNA, make our sort of instantly miserable. All all she has to do is turn on entertainment tonight and see somebody going on a great vacation like Oh came in con-. Yay, and they're on masterpiece yacht, and there in the Caribbean and Oh my goodness, and then she just looks at me and goes. We didn't go anywhere this year. Now they show picture of the kids and Biafran that starving no opposite reaction. Right I. CAN'T WE SKIP A meal? That's the point I mean. If you just going to be inundated and that's all we are now. It's just inundated with that I saw kids taking pictures with with a disposable camera. They still make those you can buy them like CBS, or whatever you take a picture with a disposable camera and the kids were like. Where's the picture? Whereas the picture, they couldn't comprehend a world where there isn't automatic instant gratification, and what is it doing I mean every generation things the one behind them as fact, but is this one well it all it all. It's and I think they are. All it does. Is I mean there was a time I. Don't know of the century where they said look. You get a washing machine. You have more time for leisure. You. Get an automobile. You don't have to ride a horse or donkey of the more time for leisure. Have these. Commercials I, DunNo from the thirties or forties where cloud boobs. More time to start cloud boobs. That's leisure. And if you're gay, one will turn into a cock eventually. That's the great thing about clouds on trails. Endless Cox, doing asked out. The mental looking at cloud boobs that turns into cloud cock, can using knowledge that it's all basically the same ingredients in a man's ass looks a little bit like cleavage. Everybody's a little bit weird. Yeah, I'm saying. When they came out with washers and dryers, they showed the woman with her feet up reading magazine, not doing something else because now. This box had been checked and that's where we're at now. It's now so much technology. and. It is not made life easier. It is US going. Oh, you can do more once right so now. Brains going nuts with the option. It used to be fairly impossible to work on the weekend I mean. How could you work on the weekend? fucking office? CLO- this lock. You can't go in there. You don't have the key. What are you the janitor? You're not going into that place on the weekend. They locked the door at five o'clock on Friday. There's no the stores are closed on Sunday. Sunday the bank is closed, there's nothing to do. You must stare at clouds and beat off. Yeah, you have no choice well. It's interesting, I mean we always say that we're going to lose creativity. There was actually a funny line I saw a million ways to die in the West, and they were talking about the kids with the hoop and the stick, and they were talking about how it's rotting their brains, and it's killing me potential for creativity, so that's true, but I do worry about losing boredom. Yes comic as somebody who has to drive himself to a lot of shows. That's where you have the Mo. that's why we you know in the shower. It's like the last place we designed the the shower plasma, or whatever it's like eight. The Fun Ness of of just taking ride with the radio off like you have to do it, and that's where you get ideas, and that's where you get inspiration from that sort of listening. Yes, I have said a million times. Stop Walking through everyone else's museum. You know since you can create your own. Mike kids sit and watch a huge plasma screen and just watch other people's art. Yeah, which comes at them at a million miles an hour downtime is huge and were nuts because we got it backwards. We're like these kids need to be stimulated. They need to be stimulated. They need to turn on their brain by being stimulated and exposed to, and it's like no, no, that's you just chilling kicking back, open a juice box and watching someone else's creativity. EARN NONE FOR YOURSELF RIGHT? Leave the kid alone. Give the kids downtime. He'll get real creative real fast. That's true, I think. And a lot of really creative people that they were bored as fuck, you noted I always say like you think John Popper could play the harmonica the way he plays a harmonica, he was getting laid and had an xbox and a plasma screen. That's something we talk about all the time. The people that went into comedy to get laid and then the people that got into comedy because they were like. What else do you do there you? You gotTA. Do something I have for you know I. Don't WanNa Sound try, but you have something to say. You want to communicate something. There's an itch they're as opposed to just try, and you want a job that you can drink avenue. You WanNa get a blowjob. Yeah, well. I always say that but I replaced the blow job and the drinking with the guys don't feel like working like I just don't want to get up four. Bonded over this year like your work ethic, transferring into the world of comedy I, am remembering that now coming from construction and all that sort of stuff. Yeah, but. I do but I do feel like there's a fair amount of guys like. Jeff Ross, he doesn't here's like he's not a morning. Person I him and Doug. Benson would be the worst employees ever. They had to deliver milk. Show up his cottage cheese around one PM. Milk. Does. It does just suit some people better. Absolutely get up the ripple. balling load liked to catch a matinee and then. Time permitted I'll get over. The IMPROV said Yeah I. Don't know why this went back to porn for me. Maybe I just started thinking about porn again. But that idea of not getting every need gratified instantly breeds, a better society. Take for example. If you're not constantly drinking it to porn, you could potentially meet your wife you. Get on an elevator. Say That's when it happened. Yeah! The old adage. You've lost the Pinkai Tiger You're not hungry. Take you got the fucking hunt? No I tell guys all time let's. Get it got it. Got It. That's good. I was listening downs in his well. It's hard you gotTa. You GotTa fucking hungry, but you have to allow yourself to feel a need requires another person to fulfil unfortunately. I consider it home. I can get myself drunk if I want to. I can order food if I want to. And I can simulate pretty realistic sexual experiences with the right mix of Lebanon sense, and you know what I mean like then I'm done, but what the fuck my doing. Coasting through life and at the end you look back on what to quote you. Other people's art I was like remember when I was in that prison with Morgan Freeman. Well can I ask this then. Let me make this Let me make this suggestion. How about this. I think this could sell somebody. Write this down. It's going to be my and then when someone else uses it, I'm suing their assets by trump. You learned a lesson. He think the single man's computer especially home computer with a laptop whatever is. Should have A. it's one of those things that is going to save you from yourself. which is when you sit down for porn session? We have a setting fifteen twenty twenty five minute. You're on the siding on the cloud cock now once that thing goes south i. mean once you expire. The computer cannot be turned on for ninety minutes. You get locked out. You get locked out for ninety minutes I think we'd have a much more productive society but I think a Lotta guys shit home with the takeout with the booze with the Lube, and they just kind of drift away, and you look at the clock and I would spend four hours Jesus. Christ I'm still on Newport like right. If you had the lockout, Yup and ultimately that would be good for you, that's. That's exactly what the function of higher brain is. If we started the reptile brain, that's where all those impulses come in. It makes perfect sense to stay home shelter. Food Feed Yourself. You'RE NOT GONNA die sex there. It is and sleep. Everything you need is right there, so you have the core part of your brain telling you to do that all the time. The higher part of your brain is those types of ideas. What would you set your porn lockout turn? Now, what are the factors? It's because I need to. is trying to prevent well. Would you're trying to I? Need to do it clearly prevent. Is You realizing that you just dedicated an hour and forty five minutes to something that you could have dedicated for minutes to, and you're really ended up in the same place. There is a humorous to the porn searching man. That's just like not good enough. Turning. King my also potential of what if I get hit by municipal boss tonight and this is the last time ever paid off and ended up going into a five. Minute session! It's not your repeatedly. No. You're just looking for something better and better at is the museum with the endless hallway, and that's the problem, and that's what we get into. A certain aroused the whole time. No, sorry, typically not me. Not Arouse. The! What I'm saying is what number could we put down for I? Bet I can get in first of all. I'm trying to stay, not not interested in I'm not interested in you. Give me ten minutes ten minutes. Not, good enough notes that. How long do you want to be locked out for right? No, it's what I put you down for. In terms of your time I'm not interested in you. Breaking records saying realistically I want a four hour lockout. You want to be locked out for four hours sure after ten minutes. Yeah, what if you don't achieve and ten minutes? I'll achieve no. P. Please understand what I'm saying contest. Contests can be done in. You know under three. I've done it on camera. You have. A Have Oh God, there was an episode of the man show. I was GONNA say please be on the young show, not just you over the camera. Here we go. I I'm not looking at. Don't Brag. Don't try to impress me. I. Wasn't what I was doing I'm saying. Let's pick a realistic number. That you would not that. You could do that that you would like. To Bowl this is not to pressure. Has Ray Romano said the launch sequence to the right? Not to feel pressure to hurry, but also feeling like you're not killing your day sitting into computer, staring at endless amounts porn forty five minutes forty five minutes. Respect all right. Because when you get beyond forty when you realize you've dedicate an hour and. Realize! I've done this I've had my laptop open and seeing that on the boop comes up and says you're now on reserve power You gotTa make a choice. That's right. You Get up and get that cord. This is your invention, but you're I found a way to monetize it. Away, we can do this as an APP or something. Really I'm sure there. If I may be so bold as to interpret your first ten minute. Theory. Goldfish grows to the size of its bowl. You know what I'm saying like ten minutes then you condition yourself up a sixty minute session every time it's forty five minutes. You condition yourself to have a forty two forty two minutes session. Every time I think was looking for efficiency. I think that. I was trying to bring it out quicker. He'd understand what I'm saying. But I'm saying as sorry. I do not want to ruin this experience for you. I'm just saying I get it now to me I've realized that. Since, it's analysts. It's a fool's errand to just spend four hours. Staring at the will be selfish on the Internet appreciative. You'll find the right person and you'll stick with them. I was porn monogamous for ten years really when I first started looking important I one person that I that I really just loved. What was this new? At one really was one person. Wow, yeah, well I! Mean you know I dabble, but this isn't the the day of dial up, so it's kind of like your system. Find Them. You'd be like I know I like this person and we're done, and you know what I think. That was better. They say now to reset yourself. You need to be off porn for thirty days and that'll get you back to normal if you start looking at like high speed porn later. If. You're twelve and you started looking at it. You've got a decade on your belt. You need more of a detox. And what is the situation there helping you detox? Basically people who hits parents. My Dad keeps coming in. Like Dad I. Put a sign on my forty five minutes. With a big. Turn your computer on son forty seven five you. We're locked out. I grew up, so we want to get some tickets online well. I'm sorry, nobody seeing wants the musical. Sorry pops I used to have my because I grew up super. Christian I would ask my friends to put passwords on my computer for me. That's like a big thing to stop yourself before you. Have to call. It was it was like lock me up. Lock me up and down the cage. It's a full moon tonight so right now. Yes, Earth! You abandoned your Christianity and in every religion. Forty five minutes would be your lockout time. Yeah, and then what would you be comfortable for if you exceeded that forty five in terms of your computer being down? Oh. It's only if I exceeded that along tactics. Seed it. Down Oh I'M GONNA. Let you set your Max. Yeah, once we set the Max. If you go beyond the Max, you're locked out I understand it's. It's a punitive part. Doing forty five sessions back-to-back great question. That is no. You're locked out. Let's say forty five minutes. Bang went out in four minutes. Can I then come back and do I still? You have forty five minutes or whatever you set it to. Exceed that you locked out if you come, you have to hit the space bar twice and then it's like all right. Everything else has to be spread there. No rollover minutes though we don't get to put that into the next session. Forty five. I for you. It's forty five see. I would go a little lighter. A little more efficient about save more time, yeah! I put it on market. More Twenty, five, twenty five is all you got. Well again you're GONNA commit. You'll thank me when you're done. That's twenty minutes. You could have the writing jokes. What when I come and go, thank you out I'm saying when you're coming, but yes. I mean. Would you put it at forty five? I'd move it down a little. That's me. I could be persuaded to do a twenty five twenty five guy. My first poll was. And that is your first post. Well, that was just you saying what you could do now? I'm looking what your load Brian I would go low. I would try and go like fifteen and on bishops, but I don't Wanna condition myself to twenty-five. Session every two. Here's a condition myself to. Put that you can go fifteen, but why put that pressure on yourself? You turn to enjoy. It's the same restful the same reason you. You do the one one one in the microwave. It's like just an efficient way to live your life. The Minute Moving back. This is the part of not getting so let's say you you meet your times. Now you'd get up go to the bathroom. Do whatever you do. You. Here is going to lay salary. If you meet your time, you get your computer. You exceed your time. You get locked out right, but let's say you have a session and then ten minutes later. You WanNa go again. That's. Not exceeded right along under the session. You get the back, but you have unlimited sessions. That is defined you whatever you want. It's I'm counting on you not beating off thirteen times in a row. A big assumption I what I was saying. I'm not worried about that. I think you need to set it. You get one a day. One jerk to porn a day. Look Harsh. You get one a day. You get twenty five minutes I can find him on. Lockout time once you exceed. If you exceed your time limit if I accede to make me, take it serious two hours a serious too high fuck. I can't do this, so we do twenty five minutes twenty, five, two and two twenty five call into. That's how we right into the. And Twenty five and once a day and one today to. Imagine, how much more you'd get done if that was just those are now the ground rule. I agree okay. Hugh, many too many options I keep returning my painting. Brian, you go fifteen to. Fifteen if you allow fifteen forty five, it's like playing poker. You double the blind triple. The limit I don't like forty five. It's not punitive enough for me I need an hour plus I. Agree with that I'll try and get done. And Sixty fifteen and sixteen. On Gary Sorry. Gary I'm limited. I think I'm GonNa go twenty nine hundred. Ninety one ninety years a good answer answer answer Dasa. I'm just GONNA. Say Eighty twenty. One footer take. The box right there. needs to be the need to be punished. twenty. That's. The twenty five is. that. These our. Off. Eighty two minutes, and then making yourself a sandwich for nineteen and a half minutes, and then coming back around to is hardly punishment. Now that. The punitive. Here's here's what I will say. The punitive number needs to be four times. What your first number is so if you'd like to give yourself an hour fine, so my fifteen you screw up. You're going five hours, okay? Fifteen or get your sixty now, Pete! If you'RE GONNA go half hour, you can get two hours where unitive time if you WANNA, be a hot chat like Brian over here and go for if you. WanNa go for five minutes fine. You're punitive times not going to be that long punishment times is going to be that. Long Beach Show only five minutes. Yeah, that's that's what it is. It's a ratio. This whole the whole reason I brought this was to say like I. Think we should stop. Looking at porn so much and Sports. All we've done is used all the creativity. Due to computers. High Dawson WanNa, go eighty minutes. Then you're gonNA have to have like seven hours of punitive time. That's what I'm saying all right all right. I think the sensible I think the sensible time would be twenty minute within eighty minute punitive, not bad punishment. He does bring in the second device. That's the problem again. Luck all. You're going to have as a bunch of guys with the APP on the computer. Then they're drivenow in the bathroom of their phones. This is me saying we're put some snacks out. There's a little kitty feeds them change into it. It's just the right thing to do you know what I mean at a certain point. You WanNa just run in a high on. Elephant tranquilizer and grabbed the whole thing and run for the parking. Lot. I can't stop. You know what I mean. I'm not going to be able to stop. Just saying this is a nice little way to sort of stay on your died alison, Rosen. You've been on a diet, yes? Have, you had have women. I, I was not born perfect. I've been on diets to have little tricks that Kinda, but it's up to you. You know what I mean by forcing my finger down my throat. It's because I have grit. It's up to you. Is that true grit was about. Absolutely. Pete Holmes hanging out with Allison Adam and Brian back in two thousand fourteen, and I suggest you check out any other time Peten. Atom are in a room whether it's on podcast. You made it weird or just whenever Pitas come on the show. And also fun tidbit. When we had our ten year anniversary I put out a call to all the friends of the show to make a video for Adam congratulating him just if they had time Pete centre-back within an hour. Yeah he was really nice about a new is a really funny video too so. Thank you pete? We Love you? Hope to have you back on soon. You guys didn't play my video. Tell me what the rules were always say well. You can't send a forty minute video. Can't. He's full nudity. Let's see. It was very very tasteful though I will admit. Is Lonzo Willingham it, then I tried to operate. Apprentice are right before we get going with the next clip, also want to let everybody know about Tommy, John. The try. Father's Day is coming up in. What's not weird. Barner dead underwear. That's right or just any or just any dad. You know if your buddies a dad, your Granddad, your neighbors, a Dad I'd actually rather buy underwear if my friend's DAD's. Well then do that. 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The show Pat nozzle was on recently, and even though he wasn't in, it wasn't person. It was a really great show promoting his new netflix special, which I recommend, everybody watching. It felt like he was their presence, really good he did. He did a several podcast view remote to skype zoom stuff and I got to say the Adam cruel show one felt the most homey in familiar, probably just as the show so many times, or maybe possibly due to the setup with Adam going back the studio. It felt the. The best. I thought so too. It was really really comfortable on him. Adam have actually been talking privately because he's been watching, Adams documentaries and just really he's been tweeting about them, but even sending Adam private messages, just saying how much she loved them, you talked about watching the documentaries on these other podcasts, and how how how much into watching things about people involved with sports or some sort of accomplished that way because they're so dedicated that mindset and he's even to the extent that I'm watching Adam pools racing documentaries and what you've. Touched on all of them, give them free promos older. Just such a sweet guy and just very very genuine, so. back in two thousand twelve. He came in studio and it was a lot of fun. I'm cruel show seven forty four rows and Brian Bishop January twenty twelve. Check it out. Yea Get it on got to get it on choice, but to get it on mandate. Get It on today. Ball Brian about that GRANDPA Corolla. Day Alison Rosen. And Patton Oswalt as well. W IN YOUNG ADULT I. I thought you would get nomination. Thank you. Thank you for that. There was a lot of. The! They talk about everyone getting a nomination at one point or there was all this, but yeah, the the I got to do an Oscar campaign I've never done one of those wild and got to kind of put through those paces right not since you're heisman campaign of. Eighty, nine, eighty, eight, eighty nine. She's yeah yeah. Right around the time. She would've been coming out and who would have been campaigning about that time of year Andre Ware trying to Adelaide late eight mid late eighty round, notre dame took Tim Brown Tim Brown. Just knock by Oh yeah. I remember that I'm sorry everything you guys just said. Send like Pekinese bars. Time I don't know what. How does the Oscar campaign work? I know there's ads and Trade Kazan, and then you go to a lot of screenings and QNA's and you meet people and go to. What was weird was they kept the studio. People kept saying that. It's really rough and there's a lot of time spent. Meeting people, and but I. What happened was I'm such a film. Geek and I am such a film buff that I would go to these things and I would meet people that I'm genuinely a fan of end up talking to them for hours about their career, like actually wanted to talk to Rick Baker and Paul Schrader. Touchdown maker was also part of the heisman. He doesn't come charges. There's some really sharp. You're my Rick headphone the dogs. It's only two dollars for finding. That was weird Baker. The makeup special facts. Yes. Yes how dare you. Yes, yes, I. Get all Schrader, Roy taxi driver right for. Talking to those do yes. I got to talk to Al. Pacino I got to talk to talk to Catherine. O'hara for like an hour. Wow and. griller about. Al Commenting on on Catherine. Yeah so that part of it for me was really really fun and I wonder. When the dust settles in a few years on who actually won the Oscar not just kind of being? It's sort of I don't know. honor to be nominated. Like. It's been what four five years since Ruben stuttered and Clay Aitken. I think most people think Klay Ache and one American idol at this point. Five years from now, everyone's going to think lake and won it so maybe just being out on the campaign trail makes people think Oh yeah pant he an Oscar nominated the thing about the Oscars is. All my friends are so down on them and go on the Oscars such crap, and it's. But the whole point of the Oscars. The whole point that they were founded was to get people talking about and be interested in movies and right in that in that respect, they've done their job spectacular because every time that people without the Oscars and there's nine million articles and and ten million conversations about well. This person should have been nominated this. The the people that were nominated this year were all really great. I know that a lot of good people didn't get nominated, but then really really great people got in. I mean Damian Bashir. For a better life that he was, he could not have been more of A. He was a long shot. That dark horses thought were a long shot. That's how you know, so they for as much as they get wrong. They think they get a lot of am. They keep people arguing and right talking about film, and that's why you do it and right men working with Jason. Reitman had to be just awesome. He's such a nice dude. Have you met Jason? Yes, I've been to a few of a school dance parties. Never been in a school dance parties I have never been. Oh, wait a minute. He told me about those. into one of the I go to screenings at his house every week. He screening, he used to I think he worked for the man show for a season and. He's just he's super talented. Yeah, and a really cool dude found him to be a really good dude. He's super enthusiastic about things like just likes doing stuff. Yes, his dad, not so much as dad yelled at me. Make what were you doing though while? I was trying to break into car. Then There you go now, mean Kimmel were writing a script with him and he you know he did one of the. He's one of those guys I don't know if you've been to the right. Mun Estate, affair, Cross, from Oprah's place and The Dad's place Jason's a bunch of I'm into Ivan's Place. I'll I'll say this about the DAD's place. When Oprah BR bought her place up in Montecito and Mendocino. MONTECITO MONTECITO and She paid fifty five million dollars for her place and you have to kind of do that. Math like settle in if you've been an eight million dollar house. That's pretty fucking Nice. When you see, and you see what eight nine ten million dollars gets you. That's holy, Shit now you go fifty five million dollars, and that's holy fuck, and when I said Ivan. Put for fifty. How much better in fifty five million? million, but much bigger it's. Like are there things where you could go? I could be born in this house and never leave it and still live a full life. Right the right. Senior! People that travel the world if I stay. I will grow to nine feet tall because the ceilings are so high. Yeah, I understand what right yeah. You can see the by the way. Oprah's estate fifty eight million dollars by the way when I said to Ivan. What do you think about Oprah's place? For fifty eight million dollars, he said. My place is a little nicer and gave that. Afterward and I was like okay so now we're talking sixty, five million, or whatever and he also owns owns the X. Shaw's sisters whatever place up top. That's his. The other state is his workplace, but anyway Ivan's a busy man. And unified if I did that I would. Here's what I would do. I would live up in up in the Shah's sister's place above my house. My House my office every morning. Get up in the main house. Have Breakfast I would build a gigantic water slide the that would that would shoot me down from my house into my office where then come out of the pool into start writing? That's how it started every workday. would-be patent on a ZIP line with Cape. Kate Cooper Patton yes, and as I, as I sailed down towards my laptop, I would, I would yell. These hands have been touched by God. And the neighbors would hear that and go. Oh, he's writing again. Well, instead. He just has a golf cart to get him from one. State to the next, but anyway I've I've found that when guys are super rich and have a lot on their plate. When they give you notes on a script they want them implemented the next time they see. Generally implemented, they're not inviting debate, either not inviting debate, and they don't have a lot of time, and they certainly don't have time to mince words with guys from the man show who aren't implementing their notes, though is a lot of Ivan Yelich. What I take! I've inside because I was Ivan in. He gave he notes and you guys would just go. Show me your stripes. Stripe literally threats right yeah, yeah, so what happened with that script They still own it. It became the help nominated. Taking. A lot of rewrites, but it's weird. It became the help now. All I remember about it is the very first thing we pitched him in two thousand and one or two, thousand and two was. Jimmy was like a thirty three year old virgin. And that's the story I was going to get them laid, and I've instead. Nobody's going to buy a thirty three year old, Virgin, and then three years later the forty year old virgin. Years old are totally. Judge realize. Rounded numbers. Rounded numbers that she. Should have done it anyway. I enjoyed the movie mentally and Shirley. Iran was great and pant was great and Ivan Reitman. Just just doesn't doesn't do wrong. Jason Reitman. Sorry Jason Ivan Ivan doesn't either, but. Jason He made Jason. Jason, I don't think. Jason's movies range from good to extra scrummed delicious. Good like he doesn't. He hasn't made a thinkers I. If if I were Jason Ayob so inside Mon, head right now going by the laws of the universe. It's almost like. If I were him I would purposely make my next film awful just to get that. He needs a Hudson Hawk yeah in. There s to get things right or like some mad visionary thing where we go. This is the movie I've dreamed doing it. But? That was an insane success I. mean like. The mad through visionary thing that people just go dude. Yeah maybe and Howard the duck. Duck. Duck, I'm going to do the Peter Marshall Story. The Hollywood squares are going to do. and. We're GONNA cast and I'm telling you C C H. Pounder is Peter Marshall a ballsy choice. I'm going to make it work best musical. Anyone's ever seen about a game show name show. I'm reading here that. Somebody was. Filming Your New Act, and you didn't dig it and I want to know because I do a lot of shows now and I see people standing there holding their phones filming me and I'm not sure whether they like say. Hey, knock it off or Or what to do, if I've if I've already put the album out. Or if I put an amount, someone uploads like a track from the album. It's already out there. I can't do anything about it, but if I'm up there and I'm working on a new bit, and it's not there yet, and that's why I'm up on stage doing the show at a club at a club or in this in this case and a little space. Then yet can I. Could you let me decide what version gets out there, not you. Even said when I started. This is a very new bit I'm very nervous about this. It was only the fourth on my son, and and like having heard me say that, and then to go, and I'm filming this right like it's so rude they. The real problem with them filming. Whatever it is you're doing, is they? Keep filming it when you say excuse me, could you put then? They just keep filming. And then you look like an ass. Wipe because you're yelling at them while they're filming you and Sarah Silverman's run into this they film. You and they keep going because what they they don't care about. They want footage of you being angry. Right? What they want is to post you going. Look at this guy's snapping and go nuts, and then and then they look at the footage. Someone going I'm asked you five hundred. Please just don't. I remember there was this footage and see where you it was like Tom Hanks going nuts, and he's just walking on a beach with his wife, and there's some Douche is felt like they just want to go for a walk and talking. This guy will not like is just shoving cam of the face and Tom Hanks is going. Hey, we asked you like three times I just want to have walk your my wife. Why are you doing this? This is really rude. Right and the guy just will not put his camera down. And a Tom's not going nuts. He's like. Why are you being such a psycho and realize the guy is just trying to please throw at me something right something I. Don't you know I've often said you know? Nobody feel sorry for celebrities, and even though that's not. A great interpretation of the law. That's the bottom line. When you say to people, wise this, not illegal, it should be illegal. You shouldn't be able to invade someone's privacy and by the way for profit, because I'm going to sell it to him Z., you shouldn't be able to do this and it would be illegal except for your celebrity and the answer sort of nobody feel sorry for celebrities, but wh but people. People people confuse what being a celebrity means especially. Let's say you're an actor. Comedian I I'd I'm not on all of the. I'm not constantly doing my act. I I my doing doing. My comedy is a job I do it. In the evenings I go do my set and then during the day like anyone else i. try to live my life so. Don't we get to decide when we do our job? That's again you filming me going. Hey, you're a celebrity that'd be like mingle and well if you're a plumber. Come on my house right now and I know that you're not working, but hey, you're a plumber. Brian CIDER to be a plumber, so get over here now. Deciding when you work, that's the whole thing. It's like athletes. These guys happen to be blessed physically, so they make a profession where they can make twenty million dollars a year versus is nine dollars an hour working at a supermarket, so they choose that, and then everyone says well. They chose it. They chose it like it's this. You brought it on yourself because you have a sense of humor, or you brought it on yourself, because you're a power forward and the NBA No. This is my profession and. And also an athlete. Yes, the maybe you're blessed with some talent, but at a someone who makes athlete is someone who then applies work and sacrifice to the base of talent that they have I had a tiny crumb of comedic talent that I then worked for twenty five years, so that I could do it as a professional while now Rutan and now it's well now I would say yeah. It's almost a Croutons, Curtin exactly and maybe some Parmesan to titus. Can Pile capita on top of it, and you'll make it seem even bigger, but. It's that it's that idea that yeah that again. It's almost like it's an accusation. You chose this is. If you chose the wrong door, right, you must be punished I dedicated and took a lot of risks to do something and I kind of love and I wanna keep doing it when what now so as far as pan, oswalt goes now if you'd been nominated. then you're, you're star would have gotten that much bigger and that many more people who wanted to know what you're doing in the comic book store on Melrose. Would be here with us. So the question is what do you hope for because there's this feeling? In the profession of just move forward, and just bigger and better and see what else we can do next year and in the upcoming, there's but I think that's a really bad way to think about things there is not it is not a constant straight line of bigger and better. You know this. There's ups and downs, and now have good times and bad. I just want to keep working at things and trying to create. Create new things some things, some of those things are gonNA fail. Some of those things are going to and I just. I like random new experiences. Hey, I got to go. Do this movie now one. You're getting an offer to go do this thing. That's totally unlike okay. Let's go do that like why not? Why not have a variety of experience? If you're offered, his has the movie. Young adult opened up doors for acting. Yes I mean there's been a lot of very good offers. A couple of which I've taken in a couple of which I've turned down. I mean what what happens is. If you do one thing well, then there's a lot of will hey. How `Bout you do that in this thing and you Kinda like I sorta did that and the other thing so maybe. That's a little that can be I mean. I'm like I'm still a minor d list I. I can't imagine what someone like a will ferrell or a Tom. Hanks goes through with the having to constantly battle the I. WanNa keep doing creative I mean at the end of the day. Being recognized when you go into a restaurant and you know maybe having a more perks they get. They're not as they're not nearly as exciting as when you actually do work, and you take a risk, and it pays off the most fun. Well I don't like to Brag, but my independent move. The hammer kicked the door wide open to doing podcasts. I don't think I got my foot in the podcast door. Had I not started? Most people when they want to sort of podcast I'll go start a couple of movies and then come to us. Yes, that sent what happens. That's the only phone call. Now, here's what's really. Here's what's really frustrating. Though for all of the annoying like someone that films unit that is like point, zero one percent of the fan base. Most people out there are the nicest. Supportive great most quote unquote celebrities actors. COMEDIANS musicians ninety nine percent of them are great. They just want to do their work. Then go live their life. The the then there's that horrible one percent share. They do want to be photographed all the time they do. Tell the publicist to call the Paparazzi and catch them coming out of clubs with these. You know weirdly dressed awesomely like Daniel. From. I remember. I was outside of a restaurant and I was going in there to buy I wanted to get a gift certificate for the restaurant for a friend of mine. First Birthday is really Nice restaurant and they were all these black SUV's outside all this Paparazzi. and. And I was like what is that? I knew that I knew the the manager was like what's going on tonight. Man He goes got any name these two huge actresses. We're both having dinner at different tables with other friends. I was like Oh because I knew that he had to fire to other valet parking services because of allegations would call or all right, so he's got a gold digger. Valley guys do this. He goes. No. Their publicist totally set this up while they're going to go out and act like Oh my God the Paparazzi. Here right well I hate that and and and I feel the same way you feel about it. It's what makes the dumb part of the public. Oh, that's what these celebrities all want. Yeah, no ninety percent of don't I'm like we should get a hint as to who they are. Who No I. Wall, just think about people you don't want to say. I think one of them was mayor mccheese. There's times when I think God. I can't believe that douchebag would do something like that, and then there are times when I think. It's a business. They're smarter than I. Am I mean the more business savvy than than I. Am you hate them and you should hate them. I hate them, too, but only after all. If we were talking about selling aluminum siding, those guys would be better than us right well may yes, no, because you're you're you're confess. I think you're confusing. Business Savvy with pathology there is. There's nothing wrong with embiid and keeping your name, but there's. There's that, but then that slips into pathology when it's people that want to be photographed when I. I certainly want people talking about me. If I've done something and want to promote the thing I've done, but I don't want I. Don't WanNa be in a magazine for eating sandwich. Right that that gets to be sad and pathetic by the way, yes, no I I understand, and yes, you picking up dry cleaning is not an achievement. No. Why do we need to see what you look like picking up dry cleaning and I agree there are other things. Yes, you want to promote. The movie come out with a you. Come out in the stand up special. I'm just as big of a fan of movie, Stars and Rock Stars as anyone else, but I wanna see the work. They do I. don't care about them. He's picking up after his dog. Right? Okay? What about air? What about another book? When I'm working on one now, hopefully I'll be I'll turn it in at the end of the summer. I had a lot of fun writing the for. Are you writing another book? Yes, I am. How far would you say you're in? It I'm almost done and. I. I think about done. About done well, no, the reason I say that is because it's just a compilation of stories from your. Life Yeah from my life. Yeah, what period of your life would you say? It was from well actually. My entire life, but I thought it was pretty interesting. Way Mike. Lynch had this idea. which is this sort of from zero to two now? And we thought well. How do we break this up and Mike said you've lived in like seventeen places. You know you lived in your crappy. Bali houses you. Had Your first apartment rented your house. Each chapter should have the house. You were in a little. Nice, and the square footage, and and what you did, and it's all about the same amount of time you know, had each chapters about the same length and I lived in these apartments, and I lived with my stripper girlfriend in this apartment I had all my roommates in that apartment. That is my first house. My mom had you know that kind of stuff, so it's all all houses that yeah. I thought it was. That was a really good idea of houses. Wow, yeah, in crappy apartments, and you can see chronologically as the places get better. Yeah, you know. Life is getting better, and the cover is going to be you in wraparound shades, and it's going to be called the CRIBS got bigger. It'd be called can't stop mcrib growth. This is this is one of my mom's ten thousand dollar house in North Hollywood and the thing in over your left shoulder. That stripper girlfriend right there. She was rolled well. You know back back then. They'd like the veterans with veteran moves as to do the very patriot dance. Yeah, they wanted to know there was some time in Korea. The thing I forgot about that that House that I grew up in innocent, had two front doors, nine inches apart, and that was weird. I just noticed that it has a front door to the right and a front door to the left. In case you WANNA. Do like a fun. Scooby Doo Chase, the and going between the. FRENCH FARCE! And there's a kid standing in the middle with a NERF ball. and. What's his deal. Is Name is David. Yeah he's got a lot of hands on him. He well, he was, he had he was. What's called hyperactive. Oh and he ended up joining the army. Okay, and the he went to Korea And he came home with a little Gal by the name of Mitsuko. And her mom. And as it turns out, Mitsu can her mom and he. We're all living in same apartment, and it's certain point Mitsuko was turn tricks, and mom was the she was doing the pimping Oh, and he knows this. He found out at some point like the worst episode Mash. became a sheriff. Or One of the best I think. He had six or seven kids, who boy Mitsuko in Mama may have went back to Korea and one of the kids got shaken a little too much by the babysitter, and is never going to be right again other that kid landed on his feet, happy store. Yeah you said he went to Korea. Where were they fighting with creed that he just go there on his own recognizance I just wanted air to score political. Make sure everything's okay. We don't know tell us it's okay, but we don't know. I think he I he that's the book. That's the latest booker. Coming out. That's the one that's coming out of cool title. Yeah it's called not Taco bell material, which, at least on May Fifteenth, basically basically story of me putting applying for. At the Taco Bell North Hollywood and then saying thanks, but no thanks and this was that was like a year after you've done the podcast, they yes. She's in one of the man show. Sorry, we don't hire basic cable so. Then, you sit there and fume that while Tim. Allen walked in. The job away from you that was that was a north Hollywood Taco Bell. No kidding I walked over there from my house, which is very close by when I was in the tenth grade of north of hi. I'd like to work here. And they said fill out this application. I came back the next day and went I. Think we're good. Impulse like I'm white. Have to hire me. Now No, we're sorry. We can't have you working. Are caulking guns? Yes, yeah, you are not fit to squirt bean paste. hairnets big enough. Yeah, yeah, the we have certain standards as to WHO's going to shoot the sour cream out of the gun and we just think you're up to that. Yeah, sorry, not Taco bell material. And I just thought. I Don I thought it'd be a good title for the Book I love that I wonder if that managers are like somewhere now. He's like the guy that passed on the Beatles. What like when they they wanted? Who's the guy that did the the Song Telstar that the J- Joe Meek. British pollution in the the Beatles were like we want you to produce these I know you guys are terrible. Well that that is really the story I went told I want a collection of those stories. I mean because we all love the Schadenfreude of it. They just had the guy in the news. Who had the apple stock? Back in the day like he was. Fourth, he was the Murray the K or the Pete Bass. There's something like that apple and I ran apple NAPA records, but they said to him like look. Would you like you know ten percent of Apple, or would you like twelve hundred dollars? You know what he's like I'll take that twelve hundred. Well. That was, and then they do the that stock today. would be worth two hundred billion dollars. Hey, when James Earl Jones did a star wars. All out in a day and and then they said we can give you like. Seven thousand dollars, or you can get like point. Oh, five percent of this movie because you can give me set like. What you guys are trying to deal. When he came back for empires like remember that thing about the. And then to George Lucas is I think he gave everyone. Like half a point in the movies from that point, and so they're all fine just. Those are the stories I would like to. I'd like told because the all the people who didn't believe in you and general. No, but I mean I remember working with Kimmel many years ago and somebody said we want you to do a radio me. Yeah, we'd like you. Adam Corolla in one, thousand, nine, hundred, Ninety, eight, or seven or something to do a radio show and I said how. How about I do a show this Guy Jimmy Kimmel and we do it together. And he said he's a behind the scenes. Guys, not he's not. He's a producer type, but he's not talent. We don't want him to show. We want you on the show. He can produce the show. He can sharpen the pencils and cut the tape and ovoid well this show, but he can't be on. Yeah just that just those moments. Those things fantastic. It's right, yeah, or like when a win win Dustin Hoffman and Gene Hackman at the Pasadena playhouse and they got basically got fired. There's like you can stay and build sets and do stuff like that. No way you're doing place here I. Knew. That's my point. I would find that kind of documentary or bio much more interesting than the guy who just that's your third book, a collection, not even of you, but of other than just called I'll show you bastards all the people that. He could add the best day with take that Patton. Oswalt by the way young adult. PRE-ORDER IT by the way on DVD on Amazon. If you're going to get something from Amazon, what do you do, people you click through our website, you go to an kroll dot com. You hit the Amazon banner and that way. We get a little Tell people it's like if the Paul Newman Salad dressing is exactly the same price generic brand. You have a choice. Get the Newman help the kids. It's like it's like Adam says pay it backwards. Hey Liza backwards right to me all right. Patents got to leave fairly soon. We're GONNA. Here I can hang on a little bit longer. You WanNa. Play a little more fun than I thought you WANNA tailing. I look. About Patent, a humble guy. And such a complimentary guy. ooh! I ran into. You think backstage. At, Upright Citizens Brigade theatre something in each, said something very nice about my movie to me and it just it made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside. It was so good. You don't have to I'm willing. That's again. That's one of those great movies that's going to have a nice following a people that are like. Yeah, it's great. It's and it happens all the time. Great movies come out, and nobody sees them, and it's very frustrating. Yes, asked us you ever see that Dustin. Hoffman. Film Short Time Yes. Yes. He had he sued the studio because they buried it right? It's like one of the best films he ever. He should've gotten an Oscar for that. They buried it. You know what I believe. He should have got an Oscar for happy on. Yes and peppy on. He went from a young man to an old crazy. And scary, old grand like talking to was pigs on an unannounced devil's island. Yeah, and with a weird tech he had a tick going, and it was before all the special effects makeup and everything like he just took Dustin Hoffman and puts them. Talcum powder in his hair and he was still. Aged himself through his performance mazing and he got all weird ticket, and he was talking to the pigs and stuff any any turn out and Steve McQueen. Should've got something for that, too, because they both got really old great dustin often. The scene where he's in solitary for so long, just losing, his mind was kind of amazing. Yes, yeah. Ray It was Buddy Ray yeah. I'll tell you if you haven't seen preppy on police, do yourself a favor man that epic that that film? All Right? We should play a little totally topical Tivo. Trivia let me let me give a little love to Go to my P., C.. You GotTa get this plan. You got an iphone IPAD I. got an Iphone all right you, wouldn't it be nice? You can access say you're on the road because you go on the road. Travel up and you've got your home computer. And you are work computer. You just took your zip-line down to the office. Exactly and you to act, so you've got on your zip line and you want to your office and you want to get off your home computer. What you can use the go to my PC APP for your iphone, only everything you can get anything you want off your computer and not only get it off there, but you can work on files and start files. Do Anything to save lining. I don't have to go into weird rages on airplanes when I can't access my computer now tasers by now. An air marshal again ever did of this APP that's right. Wow, that's finally go to. My hat brought to you by citric. Go to my, and you can try it free for forty five days and luck I. Don't know where we're at what they making money. Obviously obviously, they bought into this whole mind calendar. Fuck. We're going to be gone thirty nine days, so let's give this sucks forty five. Short Term Hor money and were out. We're going on. Coke and horns, because according to the calendar, and you know mindsets, just good science. Solid Science, right there, yes. They're giving it away all right. Shall we do a little totally topical tvos trivial? This is as red from T- description. We love the movie minus the name of the actors and actress Dot. You Yell Your Name Out Yeah when you think. You may know the movie. Brian is unbelievable. Trivia tying. Today. Never, what's my name? Because five wins in your name is Pete, Pete because he got pete and Patton. Adam is too soft and I would do A. And Brian with yelp Brian and he'd take. Take should take. Kirk. Kirk get a lot of hard con. Kirk. Gunshot I've bet allison which is soft except. Game is saw. Yes true all right here we go. You saw him. DETROIT DETECTIVE, Burke! I heard Brian Turk. I really hills cop. From nine hundred eighty. That was. Morning we is the Detroit. Not when to first off. Who Pays you? Kirker Brian. You heard you heard Brian when I yelled Kirk. I'm sorry this is how Qaddafi played games at the palace. Who Hope as you? Put you in a burlap sack and thrown off the roof. Two sons do that later on. I. Swear to God. I was fucking me. You're out right. I'll hold on a second. Brian's got one surprise surprise. Anyone else in that room think Brian got their tape. We, don't take. All. All right here we go. A water boys temper. The water, boy! From one thousand nine hundred. was, writing pants. Cheating. A Racist Prison Guard. Has An intense affair. Patent Patent. Monster's ball two thousand. Ten. You had me raises her. And over thirty X quarterback. gets to play as a freshman? Bryant this roughness, hundred and ninety one. Back. Yeah. Teenage California Buddies. Grind Brian Balance Says Excellent Adventure groom, a thought out cave. Kirk. Valley. Dude Allison. Well Patent your. Alison well, I think he might. And See man get from ninety minutes. The film debut of Tenacious D. No no I think that's their debut together Jack like rally before that I think I'm wrong got. Selected for human, hibernation project. idiosyncrasy. Else? Does win! The probably got four for. One more a rally here. To veteran NYPD detectives, Confronted, gangster, who is obsessed with sports memorabilia. In order to retrieve an invaluable baseball, Card. Wow. Shit O'Brien. Is Not. Mad Dog and glory. No. KIRK Boy. City! Grid. It's cop-out from to. Battle. My Gosh it a Russian immigrant mouse. Kirk prepared. To Bright? Ryan American tale that's the game. Wasn't. Angry there. I thought maybe they were throwing so. This is my life. Yeah I love winning for more totally topical Tivo Tree I two. TV shows instead of. TV shows. Panting. That was merciful. Got It over with. We struggle that gets down to the end. The end but that was merciful. So that, yeah, that was Let's just put them down crazy. Reversed now it's actually grow. Yes, I love when when you're reading a description, and you can sort of get a glimpse of the personality of the person that wrote it like how they feel about the film. Sometimes it's very very subtle There was one it was a description of one of the Friday. The thirteenth movies is four or five, and I'm not kidding. The description was. Jason Voorhees Slaughters yet another group. Camper, so it's the word yet right, and then another is that he's. Right, dammit can hear the exhale. Should be allowed to put aside. voorhees Cy Slaughters yet another grew. We have some news. We have some well. We do when we roll into a little bit of news. Can jump in on that and the news with Allison. Do from. And when it's time to wrap it up just. Dude allergies are in the news has a story that has come out, says that are not as rampant as people think. I owe everyone. No wait a minute I was right. Research shows that as many as twenty percent of people claim to have a food allergy, but the truth is that only about three to four percent really do. But people that claim it do. They still say they suffer from symptoms or is totally psychosomatic. Well they the thing is there's a difference between food, intolerance and true food allergies. Number will have an intolerance which is like when your gastrointestinal tract is messed up, so you can have nausea, or you can have diarrhea things like that, versus when it's coming from immune system, which is an actual allergy plus reactions to food can change over time, and very symptoms are sometimes mistakenly attributed to food when they're from when they. They really from something else. Here's a weird thing, though it says that some life threatening food, allergies do appear to be on the rise for example, two thousand and ten report, comparing surveys of us. Households found a steady increase in allergies to peanuts and tree, nuts and children. The reason for the trend aren't clear, but I'm thinking if they've already established that people are misdiagnosed, are misdiagnosed. Then how can they trust that? And also, if you tell a kid anything, take it and run with it, so they're logic of peanuts. They'll announced to peanuts and it also almost becomes even though and I have to explain. Explain my kids. Don't announce your puss. You know what I mean. 'cause I mean there's people go i. don't I can't eat Dan. I can't and all I think I think post when I hear him say that. So how should they say it? They man. Know this morning already. Know they go, look I got a syringe full of adrenaline. Here I'm gonna eat this peanut butter and Jelly Sandwich and then I. Want you to jam it into my neck. Because I'm definitely not a place, but my wife. The one thing that drives her nuts are these she goes these. Especially, a lot of actresses do this. Their stay suddenly get wheat allergies there. Oh Yeah can't wait anyway. Just just say you're cutting out. CARBS don't right suddenly. Suddenly. Everyone has disease at a nowhere like come on, and some people do have it, and it's very very serious, but just say your dining, okay. Let's say half the people I know. have it right now exactly. Gluten thing what are people. because. It's a way of saying I'm cutting out. CARBS I've I've said it said this one million times I've worked construction with poor Mexicans from the valley, my whole life, and every once in a while. When the boss man went on a lunch run, there were no. Hold on. Listen I got a thing going on with. So I, don't know if you're planning. I don't know where you're going I. Know if we're going for smoothies or we're going great, but or there's no gluten allergies. There's no not allergies. There was nobody's lactose intolerant. No, no poor people that work super hard for living. There was nothing that was not on their of there was nothing on there. No fly list. They had nothing. You brought back whatever they ate. It end of discussion. I this is. This is going to sort of weirdly related. I would say or not I would make really quick. We moved into a new house last year, and we didn't really hire a lot of movies which are much of it ourselves that we could to save some money. We got rubers for the big stuff, but then also hauling it up, and for three days, just hauling stuff moving around the house and unpacking stuff and. I have trouble sleeping at night. Sometimes when lying there, my brain is. Those three days of working dawn to dusk, I'd I'd be asleep. When might like? It solved all my psychological problems those nights. I would be out. Yes, it was like that the body exhaustion. It cleared up all mental things. Yeah I think we well that again. We are stewing in our own mental juices, and creating of always thought as a human being. We're hard wired sort of have a fo you know, and it's fight or flight, and there's a bunch of stuff that's just in. Brain. That's never going to go away. Maybe it'll be washed down two million more years, but for now it's still there, and we don't have sabertooth tigers to run from anymore, and we don't really have any real physical threats so thus we must take things like terrorism and. The chances of you. Dying in terrorist activities or same as you you dying from a lawn dart that is. That is from the nineteen seventies. Yeah, they've got thrown up in the air in the seventies and hasn't hasn't no. That's been thrown by I. Don't know why, but I Paul Williams Paul. Williams. The actor Yeah Paul. And Singer. Yeah he looked up Paul Williams. was was in a movie. I was Brian Diploma movie I think. called. Anima the Paradise that one yeah and Paul Williams looked like a young jodie foster. How exactly same you'll see Paul and a good songwriter, but anyway great song writer, a Great Song Rice chances of you dying from a lawn dart that Paul Williams through is about same thing you have with terrorists, but. If you see. A thirteen year old Jodie Foster, you will see Paul Williams exactly and now the bad guys from time forever, so we we need. Oh, no I'm sorry. No, he wasn't. He's not one of the looking at him, but it's not him. No, we need to make up a smoking. Ban it though we need rate invisible things to attack us, we don't have we live in houses with alarms and bars on the windows and dead bolts and heating and air systems, and we don't have anything really, and there's no volcanoes that are going off or anything, so we must. We must create. We must create something and Epstein Barr. Bar Nuts in. Enemies from within the body is rebelling against you. Be Roughly. Maybe that's a new service that we should. Do a service where for a month we'll have people just randomly attack your home and not worry about the seriously. You'll stop black mold member Black Mall. By the way mold that's been around for two hundred billion years. This is the oldest thing on the planet. If we can't live with mold, we have to kill ourselves. Because it was here for two billion years, we got here was a magazine that I worked at in New York and there was an email that went around that. Oh, we found some black mold spores in. In a certain something or whatever and to watch the hysteria spread through little cubicle farm was all women, no offence to women I am one, but it was. People had to go work on different floors because they were nervous about it, and it's going Jesus Christ. So when you put in a good day's work, and you're working for ten bucks an hour and you're busting your. Your ass you know not sure if you're gonNA, make rent this month and you don't know where your next meal is coming from your drive around a car. That's not insured that is. There's your mold spores. Yeah, we should all aspire to. Those people don't care about Boll and they don't care about being lactose intolerant because they have a modern version of real problems that is. Is Their grizzly bear coming after them, and when we get rid of all that stuff, we forget all about it, and we start fucking with the mole and everything, but you go back to moving, and you've gone back to this lifestyle and you sleep that night I slept, so yes, so with the real food allergy. Even trace amount can cause symptoms, and in some cases our. Nuts can trigger an AFL axis, which is why you have to carry the Epi Pen and speaking of. I left my trash can out overnight and guess what I found in the morning, EPI pen, dog, Poo and a syringe and a serene. Wool wait a minute. It makes me wonder what kind of diabetics are living near me. Oh that could have been me. My dog diabetics yeah the shot every night. Yes, that must have been. Maybe they were out for a walk APU shot, and then they drove over to my place to throw it out Orange Day. Or they were walking by your place, and they gave the drug and Adrenaline, and the dog fired out an Adrenalin. True. Look nervous June. Do you yourself when you get adrenaline? Is There Pu? Think that. Scared shitless. If if you watch the BLU ray of all fiction pulp fiction, you'll see defecation. There's. A she ruined Travolta's. The Interior Ford found. Yeah to me! More was rushed to the hospital. After having some kind of seizures isn't everyone rushed to the hospital. Is there such a thing where if it? Goes. In and out I don't know the Line Twenty Long I'm pretty hungry. To me more was driven at a reasonable speed right with. The Stop box brothers delivery. I WANNA swing by pick up dry cleaning. Then then I just WanNa go by my apartment, because I left some jeans over there, and then it's off to the hospital, so she was rushed to the hospital. After having a seizure of some sort, and then publicist is saying it was exhaustion, but various reports have come out. One said she's ANOREXIC. Apparently, she's under one hundred pounds right now and her friends have been very worried about her because she's lost a lot of weight since. I. came out that it was drugs and according to TMZ. She was doing wip its. World School. I like to ask I like that, too. This. poppers are but no poppers. That's a whole different thing. whippet through witcher like you're. You're sucking the no out of Reddi whip. Yeah, no, you're right. You're right. That is that is. That is not gay. The popper. The aimal poppers are gay. The whip it's are awesome with her whip. It's or for like thirteen year, Old Judas, priest. Not Not a common drug among people of Demeans Age and social status. Maybe you know what maybe she was driven by Taco Bell Parking. Lot saw a bunch of. Young kids just like they look like they're having a lot of fun. She's like hey, guys, you ever seen ghost. Get One of those whip. It's I. Wonder if there's ever been a guy dumb, enough are high enough to pull the lid off a cool weapon. Shove his face in there and. I can feel it. Oh, DUDE! I gotta sit out I guess seven spinning on me. Have you ever I. I've never met to me, but I saw her at a at a club one night under one hundred pounds is not, and she is really tiny. Yeah, that is not anorexic for her. Sorry, it's not yeah, the the whole thing couple things. It's gotTA. Suck to be, you will pant. You know this. Physically perfect all the time constantly being judged on your physicality. I got count. Every rice cake. Like my eyes are up here. I know guys. Please yeah, right. Yeah, it's got three four of Nutella in between the two. Cakes. Rice cake. Leaning Tower of metallic. My Torso looks like Walter. Matthau face. A. Well man here you are. Ashy Ashton coaches moving on, and you're getting up there in years and everything is always based on the looks, and also she is. You're not GonNa who I'M GONNA. Talk talking about Brian appreciate this she isn't he west? She see wes. Welker of hot chicks all right. Let's hear it okay here we go. Possession receiver now I mean yes, but no. There's a lot of guys in the League you who are just. Just physical fina comes. Sure you know what I mean. Tell them what League football. Football. I think the Justice League American football. I'm I'm sorry, not the justice. American football yeah. There is. You know I mean there's guys like Thomas. On on Calvin Johnson Alvin Johnson Will Williams as John Williams on Detroit's. Calvin Johnson and yeah the. Bringing Moss back, and he played with Russ, Bulker, right and Talent physical skill. They're so big. They're so strong whatever WES WELKER is! One eighty pound, five foot, seven and a half five foot, nine white dude, who relies on nothing but hard work. But disciplined enough nothing, but he does not have the. Talent that Teo Torello Torello and just go out. JUMP UP! Take the ball away from somebody wes Welker, busting his ass and there's women. He's the John starks that. I know that guy, he sheer willpower. Height but he like I'm going to outplay everyone. Yeah, he's the Knicks Guy. So I saw a game of thrones character they he needs. Jeez constantly now there's there's Jessica Alba. Jessica Alba. Is the Te'o of hot chick? She's just born that way. She looks like that. She's differently her next four inches longer than everyone else is. She's beautiful. Whatever Demi Moore's not a beautiful woman traditionally. She has to work it. You think so. Yes, she's not traditionally good looking like. Attractive, but she's not hobby scenes almost fire. She's Brian Police. Back me up pitch. Great analogy except that it's wrong, yeah! Well No! Get Goal, today was. To me more is not what she was. A few good men she was. Off. and. Unconventional working if she if she ever gained ten pounds, she'd be right out of the game fake. BOOBS skinniest HAL can all the time teeth wide. Just working it constantly. She's not a Shar least Iran. Your Co Star. She's A. She's a beautiful there many women. They're just naturally beautiful. Charlene more is not one of them. She's not super tall and long. Sure knows is a little whacked out. I don't know she's I think she got a nose job and boob I'll have. She didn't come out like I'm hot so two thousand twelve, yeah? She works really hard. For another sports analogy, Shirley's reminds me of Andre, the giant and the princess bride when he's to. He goes look, it's not my fault. I don't I, don't exercise strong. I'm the strongest guy. Right yeah, and she's like she I drink pizza, but this is how I look I don't it's not my fault? This is what it looked like. Is Tony Gonzalez? Talks fit into all this Courtney Cox is much more naturally beautiful than Demi Moore is, but she still has a little bit of the work. That I feel like you can see that she's had work done of late. Yeah, maybe of light, but I'm just talking about Demi Moore at age fourteen was not the hottest chicken, her high school or junior high. That's what I'm saying. Be Works the shit out of it. Didn't she drop out of high school to become a model like she had so many modeling authorized. Watch me. Yeah but still. See. Why aren't you on like box more for the? Skills are amazing. She had she had that. One on the right is. ALBA YEAH OKAY SO BLONDE! It's Michael Chiklis. Yeah right find a picture Gel Scott's CALVA. That one hundred people can't tell US Jessica. Never Find Picture. It looks like just Gal. Could you tell us gallons a tall order. Of course you can never find a picture just I. think Maybe I already said this, but when I was living in New York, I had this very brief fling with. I was in my thirties. And this guy who was in his. Early Twenties. It was a stupid thing to do, but a friend of mine was like. This is never ever ever ever going to work. Because you think you're not going to get involved, but you are and based on your age difference. There's just no you just. You can't be the woman who's ten years older. It just don't work. Look at me, and Ashton and even that's not a key bridge that that wouldn't work. Do you agree with that that even if you're super duper hot? But you're older. The Guy will want to be with someone in their twenties. It's not even about the age difference, and yes, I. She may have dropped out tomorrow, but I think Demi Moore was always wildly driven. Had A showbiz thing I've seen BIOS on her and just to shoot on the person who was thirteen sorta white trash said I'm going to be a star, and nothing's going to get my way and I'm good. Looking I'll make myself great. Looking fucking knocked down every door in this town and Tell Him Star. She's like. I don't even know how much talent she has as an actress and I. Don't even know how beautiful she is, she's made. She's got much more drive than she has anything else in. That's not putting down. As far as guys when you take. Good looking guys. and. You send them abroad alone and chicks throw themselves at those guys. Free Patent we. Warning for me. Guys do not have the. We are not wired to shun pussy. We instead go out with Gill net trying to track pussy, you spend your entire life trying to capture corner, lie and Rufi Pussy, overpower overpower. See Getting. Being About the word overpower come on. That's going to be able to read out in court. May I refer you to episode? Zip Time Baling Wire. Duct Tape Pussy. And then. At a certain point. You, get on MTV, or you get on whatever and you're traveling around, and the post starts getting fired at you from an air cannon, and you're not good at ducking. My right eye. Being fired from a bigger, it is like how they test jet engines that like a pussy drill. It still looks like it's like you. Here's what you like a meth addict that has stolen the idea of poetry. Doing. You're doing donuts with it in a parking lot and burning out all the years and they're just like. Would you please give us poetry back but pushy out of? God Oh God, he's. He threw a rod on that one. Beat poet you. Alison. As a as a beautiful woman grow up. Women grow up saying thanks, but no thanks or I get it. I can't go now. I have a boyfriend I can't go with you or we're pretty serious. Guys do not grow up with that muscle exercised very well, and thus when they go out and start coming their way. They have a difficult time. When to really hot chicks say to you. Would you like to get into a hot tub back at our place in Aspen? Guys aren't wired for take your pussy hit the brakes. I'm going to go back to my room and quietly beat off. This. I think maybe women have a little bit more of an imagination in that they can say well. That guy wanted me. I could have done him that in somewhere in a timeframe that is happening, knowing that he wanted me satisfying. Enough guy can't go. I know those two. Unless it happened, it doesn't exist, and that is a like. It's that lack of imagination Augusta you'd happened just. Why did you imagine happening and then not have to give away your house and your wife? Say No goggles, that is a great point from a guy with high levels of circulating estrogen. And I mean it as a compliment. That's why you're able to speak this way. No, you're able to think a woman. He took an amazing. No, it's like that scene inglorious bastards. All says he can think do you can think like a woman? It's a compliment you're right. Thank for a woman. If a celebrity dude came onto them. It would be good enough or almost good enough for them to say George Clooney hit on me rather than I sucked off George Clooney outpost better. It's actually better go because he hit on me. Good enough goodness. We're done for a guy. It's a zero that this chick hit on us unless something flies out of our penis other than urine. Right or in some cases that's actually the urine fine. You're spending if you're really only fucked up, so there's there's a of hypothetical world. Then that's why when you guys have your sexual fantasies, which was always weird like where where you go like in who fantasizes about I don't know he couldn't see his face. In my fantasy, like guys jerk off specifically to people. We've seen people. We've known people who are in magazines. There's never liked the fuzzy headed girl. We beat off to where face I. Yeah, no, you're right. It's it's I I don't know how it is for all women, but it's usually some sort of just amalgam of like. It's just like some guy they have to. Have Dreams, and you go I sex stream you go. Who Was it with I now and IT'S A. fucked just for my work in the ASS. So, how did you pitch to the own network? Oh, not God like. How did the whole verbatim basically? Transcript and you? Don't know this is really. Next on the oxygen network. Adam Corollas hot cup of camel. So coacher. Everyone's now. She's doing limits now and whip. It's true and I. I hope he doesn't use that as like a weird like him when I was a girl. Doing whip, it's. spittle that's right devastating. It is to leave me. Yeah, so speaking of Penis fifty cent. tweet a picture of his penis. If the giants lose the Super, bowl according to twitter because. That's going to motivate them. Yes. Okay see someone on twitter Dora Dora. My best asset said. Now. Let's bet if the giants lose the Super Bowl. You Must Post Your Dick on the twitter. And then he said okay. It's way where he he said. Okay allowed to tweet your Dick. I mean are the rules well. I think it'll get taken down but all. Tweet at once, and then it exists right forever. He's only get it in there for a few seconds and then then everyone's GonNa you know. That is the Abridge tweet this? Okay, she said. Let's bet if the giants was super bowl you must. You Must Post Your Dick on the twitter. If they win all post. My boobs face on here. Bet, and then he wrote back. Okay! Wow, she looks like she's doing all right or over there like the explorer those boobs. I if I were fifty cents. This is where I call in. EX PORN STAR LEGEND FM Bradley Field Marshall Bradley who has a large black Venus, and there's FM Bradley and. Nobody is going to see a picture of a big black cock and go. That doesn't look like fifty cents. Weighed in both races. Bradley's yeah. Recognize tackling the eighties. I was just fine. Leg warm brother with a large penis and I all. That fifty cent doesn't have one though well, even if he does, he doesn't want. Show his large pain. Oh Right Jim saying I'll tell you the guy you could get because I've seen this guy's penis in the shower. The Guy Played The guy for Major League played First Base Pedro Serrano. The president yeah the first. The Guy was playing the the big black dude from major league. He wasn't first baseman. What was the Patriots the field? The President President. Palmer so yeah, bomber, yes! He was back then. Marshall that he does this allstate. Guy. majorly speak with a Dominican action given okay reprinted Joe Boo I. Show me picture of Major League. I I played like a celebrity baseball game with that guy, and made the mistake of hitting the showers with him afterward. I not a good call. As. Bert do not as Bert. Stand you saying he got the hose the Yes. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying yours. Okay. You're saying yeah, yes, that's him. He's got you covered the you're hung like a telephone pole or just average I'm saying they're on my ass, needed comp and collision when I was in the shower. With him because. In good hands. By the way I'm just saying as as a large man of color. He did not disappoint. As large men of color he was, he was very. He was very stereotypical. He was he was racist. What he was doing is what you're saying. His penis ranked. Venus being very racist stereotype. Yes, exactly now, did you? You could have called the. Totally, this is this perpetuation of this negativity. This is the reason why. Yeah now did you look at the corner of your eye or did you stay right at it right when I? was make eye contact. It was dudes showering after a game and. One of the Jews was a guy who I known and I was surprised at just how under-sized he was! I'm sorry. There's no way you have a sample of Donald Sutherland. Saying did the fire. Look at you from backdraft for this segment. You have every other sound key on the planet. There was going to the fire. Look at you. Did it look at you I. I look at this burnt offering. And first off, I thought to the guy who was standing next to them like. Hey, let's get some separation here. You know what I mean. I stand in the middle of Youtube, so people have sort of. The scale. House right! No one wants to get depends on the hour with the. Well Anyway I take a picture his dark and tweeted out! That's if I'm fifty. That's just that's smart. It's just smart I feel like you should bet someone that you'll tweet a picture of Europeans and then you do have Bradley's peanuts and then. Just good penis policy. So. Be Twitter Smart when you're posting. Racially conscious. Patent Oswald hanging with Allison Brian's kicking the year off. Right talking about twenty twelve. I love that show because I remember that day. I was wearing a three wolf moon. Sure you remember that shirt that. Went viral on Amazon just because of the outrage us, so I bought that shirt, just a part of the joke and I worked surreal hipster. Yeah, and and patent stopped me was. I still am, am I? I don't wear it anymore. Maybe that makes me hipster even more than. You got you got you got? Into that three Wilshire, and we all know not to commit to I don't. But he he pointed it out, and he said pool through shirt, and that made me feel lucky. Actually made my made my day so patent very Nice Guy Love, him and Adam together and looking forward to seeing more of them together whether it's on the show, or just whatever they do. I got to meet him at Shakespeare. That's right. Back before his popular Adam Corolla hat a charity event at his Malibu home for Inner City Youth Shakespeare then mostly Hispanic and black kids and people don't remember this talk about. It was really cool thing he did. And at the event all these comics came and performed including Ban Oswalt who had a brand new daughter at the time and a wife at home, so they keep calling his wife check on her, so I was talking to your off about his love line trek appearances with Brian Poe sane, and what a legend is, and there's always people that appreciate his comedy also stuff, but these specifically these three level episodes. They don't stop listening to for now twenty years and GonNa, take my wife. And I felt bad keeping miss especially now from having more time, his wife or keeping busy, but really Nice Guy Hilarious impression that day so cool part of it and. Nothing. We should do a curl classics with Patton oswalt. Dana Gould and Bryant Sane because back in the radio show days they had all three of those guys in the student wants to do nerd offs. Do. They had a recurring bit where they're trying to. The nerd was it was in the early days I'm trying to figure out where take like this moment line chemistry adopt adapted to this morning show, and there's some really interesting bits that came out of that. You know. There was a ton of people that came through there, and then they still guest on the podcast is very day, yeah? Definitely all friends of the ship for our out we've got another clip lined up I wanNA. Remind everybody to check out method man, all right method man, is they? Do they do hair products? Shampoo Conditioner Deodorant. Body Wash I actually use the Cedar Cypress Body Wash and it makes. Oh so good look Gio I hate. I hate smelling I hate being the stinky guy. And I know what social distancing. It doesn't seem like that big of a deal. It's still a big deal, so make sure that you use method men because they make the best the best soaps and deodorants. F He's talking about good. You smell doors this early means only the Cedar WanNa really smells Nice sounds Nice. I don't like heavy perfume. Cedar sent might actually be. That's right. It's not overpowering subtle, but it still smells really great, so here's a everybody else could try method man you go to method. Men Dot com, that's Emmy H, od, Emmy and calm, and you could save fifteen percent off with the code classic that singular. Classic, when you buy online, method, Dot, com, so visit Methuen dot, com use the code classic and get fresh without the fuss all right. Speaking of getting fresh. Eric van came on the show and man. That guy is just a refreshing. Is running for what top ten handsome has guests. Yeah no doubt. Talk Shadow. He's probably number one. and. Human. Facial hair, little stubble and Eric Bana. Humid Adam got along swimmingly. Because Eric also has a really great car documentary, and he visited Adams Garage and they just they had brand all-time walked around the garage. Guess, super enthusiastic about whatever Adams into, but truly enthusiastic, and even some cases with other guests with. Don't as much as long as they're really into it I hate it when they're like. Look at your cars, or there's excuses not to show up when they're actually into it and Eric. Bana couldn't have been better. like the movie. Funny People. The dinner scene were Eric Bandages so charming. Yes, podcast, equivalent to that like this great moment reviles got all got to be there with him and his Adam. Corolla show twenty, two, seventy, five March twenty eighteen. It was just recent. Geographic Brian Bishop Eric Bana in studio in cars a stuff. Eric Bana is in Studio Brian is moist over there. I'm a keep it together. Ball I'm a big Eric Bana. Fan but Brian a huge fan so. Chopper. Will Tell, and then we got car stuff to talk about two awesome. That's media. Well, I I gotta say. This is going to be the best press. You've done all week on this. Because one hundred feet from here, I have all of Paul Newman's race cars why we hear! That and I don't mean here. I mean on earth. Like what are we even doing anymore? Eric Brandon. The movie is called the forgiven. It's in theaters at is Friday march nine? That's on all digital platforms following Friday. That is the sixteenth. It's It's stirring. It's powerful I tried to watch it last night and link they sent me had no sound and I still watch a third of. His! Powerful force whitaker is in this thing is well, but I did watch the trailer, so we'll talk about that, and then we'll let the ask kiss thon again. AWESOME AWESOME! The movie I heard of originally Vince Vaughn was supposed to be involved, and then he wasn't, and and by the way force whitaker who? By the way. It's like a screw. False Internet rumor. He was my neighbor for ten minutes, and then immediately moved after we went to dinner once one time, not a car. So. Here's the thing. Forest whittaker becomes Desmond Tutu in this this movie. It's pretty amazing. We could forest whittaker not really known for becoming other people. He's kind of forced whitaker. Shall we kiss his. Yeah. He was unbelievable. I. Fortunately when I read the script. I already knew that forrest was going to be applying to two, so I was able to read that. In my imagination and he was just. It just transformed the main like. I I saw him this to I just couldn't couldn't believe it and we didn't. We didn't rehearse without. We have very long. Dialogue driven saints together with set in a prison on Playa, prisoner and he played dismal to comes to visit. And Saints? We didn't rehearse literally. The I I saw him on set was Desmond Tutu unlock wells forest has gone. He's no longer here. I want to Take care of her little. Housework Beach Body on demand I. WanNa thank them for making this half of the show. Possible Text Adam to thirty thirty thirty, and then Tommy John I'm wearing the Tommy John Underwear right now. Just the best and Castro Castrol Edge because we'll talk about. Well me and Eric will do about twenty minutes on synthetic lubrication awesome ranks. Folks boy I was like I was like over two with you last night because I tried to watch the movie I try to watch your forgiven, and it didn't have the sound, and then I went. Okay, but I want to watch. His doc loved the beast. No. I don't I don't know how I missed it. Picture. Now! Go. Find it, and it said was on Amazon, and then I went to Amazon on demand, and it said you gotta sign up for something else. As well, isn't it? I'm pretty sure could not find money. Good on my phone and watch it whilst we. Will Watch it so this is about Eric. and has one thousand, nine, hundred, Ninety four Ford XP Falcon Coupe, which is sort of the Australian big into V8's. And hence the all sort of Mad Max is slowly trying to wean us off them in like like a dummy, and they give us a little date, right? We're still. Lovers I heard last night, talking to somebody that more per capita, eight guys, muscle guys in Australia, then then here are ratio from a from a racial standpoint which made sense so the car you got when you're fifteen. You've had it your whole life. Yeah, you've always worked on it. What is the power plant in that? It's a four zero, eight four four, so it's adopt block Eloi headed. Say Hi China headed so four hundred cubic inch. Small Block yeah, about six hundred dollars pound and you went and did the TARGA rally or the Tasmanian target has minor rally. How does that? How does that work? How many days how many miles it's I think now about six days and it's it's basically. They closed down the greatest roads in Tasmania and let you loose. And it's like an old like they used to do many many years ago in Italy like the Taga floor, our analyze all classics and it is the best but most dangerous rice you can do and the fact whistle able to do it in two thousand and eighteen just absolutely blows my mind, but not a couple of times and yeah, it's an incredible incredible event. Somebody like the Isle of Man Exhibitor T T for automobiles and the reason all talk to Gina and bald about this. The reason it's, it's more dangerous than a race on a track is because it raises on tracks, most of the time have a gravel, run-off pits and Hay Bales and big piles of tires and things you can run into sometimes you hit some some concrete, but for the most part stuff that moves this has trees and buildings. Yeah and hardware Meyerbeer. Mighty Australian oak and then oftentimes. Bystanders! Slows you down as you run over a few people, they pictures. The tree need them in a straight line as well. slugged down so Law these races oftentimes else to explain it to me. I've seen the most because I. I love and appreciate aesthetically a classic Eric Bana. Cars, method. I did so. Car Docs Rita watches. So the so the love, and also I don't think many people know from who watch no you from Black Hawk down and and Troy and hulk and Munich and all that star trek the they don't know you start as a comedian. Yeah, and I think it's just easy for us to do some math where it goes man. He's a heavy guy who flies a blackhawks. Oh, he can't do comedy, but you started off in comedy. That was all I was nine, four at high and. Most still view me through the Lens of stand up comedy and sketch comedy studied. He'd stand up comedy committees and. Went sideways into sketch, which is where I really sort of got a nine from self restrained, had shower for wall and and then made the switch to drama so many many many years I was like literally had to existences I'd get on a plane and come here, and no one knew about my comedy background, and we'll escape to meet me then I go. What what sort of potty tricky you pool. So. It was like having two completely different lives He wasn't funny people. At the in the Third Act Mary to Leslie man or with the old girlfriend, but the funny power was you were in the comedy playing almost a straight straight character, you or the? Criticized from Australian accent. I'll be honest with. The, we know you do impersonations. There was much di