22 Burst results for "Once"
All at Once
"once" Discussed on All at Once
"What have i had a guy show up to youth group in him like a song and it was funny. It was funny to everyone here. The girls are arranged words in peace rates in the pool. So we see all of these definitely double standards and what. I was told us out. Well then they can't control their fox. They can't control their actions until we have to do the work for them so it was kind of this narrative got supposed to be in charge of everything except their sexual. Urgent ledge obviously sets up a huge problem when it comes to sexual assault and sexual abuse Men in what reteaching women. So when i was thirteen i remember. I was reprimanded for rain shirt on a mission trip that it was a t shirt but when i rose my hand as i grew older on a small sliver my stomach would show as we cannot from alleged small slugger. My showed him and my youth. Pastor told me that it was shameful added. Make men do bangs in just saved a ton of shame on me and of course for the rest of the week. I wore nothing by Close and i thought you know that would protect me but internet because a week later sexually assaulted by a stranger all the street who grabbed my breast and so that was like my first time immense joe's because what was my teaching like this was my fault men can't control myself. It's my job to control them. So i must have somehow caused this even at the age of thirteen and so i didn't tell anyone because i felt so much. Shame so much. Shame about what happened to me for over a decade Until i was at least twenty three eighty because maybe maybe later when i first started telling people what happened and obviously it was terrifying nightmares. After that and it was just a terrible experience. The theology i had grown up with top on. It was my fault..
IRG Health Talk
Fresh update on "once" discussed on IRG Health Talk
"And Aaron, there's a lot of us, including me. Mark, wait till you at least get to 65. Once you get Medicare, Medicaid, it'll all be taken care of, Aaron. But that's not necessarily true, right? Medicare is fantastic if you're going to have broken bones or a simple heart attack or something a that doctor can give you a pill for or give you a bandage or a brace or a surgery. Once you start getting to the point where you need daily help, Medicare is more or less useless and still provides some great benefits for the health issues that come up. But it doesn't do anything to help with giving you a quality of life when a doctor can't charge you a bunch of money to fix what's wrong with you. And went I through this with my own father because of a mishap and he ended up in a care facility and then all of a sudden, you know, we were called to a meeting at the facility and they said, OK, Mark and brothers and sisters of Mark, the so -called coverage is going to end here. We didn't know finances here. If we want to keep George a little bit longer for rehab. And we were looking at each other like what burden time for the family. We don't know what's going to happen. I'm not going to be able to help. I'm not going to be able to help. I'm going to be I do with our clients' family meetings. We establish a plan with the people who are going to be retiring or that need the help. But it doesn't do any good if the family doesn't know that what plan is. So bringing the family together, making sure that everybody understands what they or want siblings, in some cases, what the siblings want and making sure that everybody knows the plan and can follow the plan is essential. You bet. OK, Aaron, we're going to take a quick break. You hang on. We'll get more with you here as you sitting in for Rajeev Nagai, elder attorney here who has been here to plan out retirement. Real quick, some seminars here, some workshops, if you want to work at a better plan here or see if yours is doing fine. Don't forget the dates of October 12th in Redmond, also October 14th in Federal Way. Rajeev Nagai, a chair of Aging Options will have a seminar also or workshop, Bellevue on October 17th. Easy to sign up. Just get to the website here. You're going to a lifepointlaw com and just register so he knows how many people are coming. This is where you can really have a look at your retirement plan here or get new some ideas. You will walk away with a lot of notes. Again, lifepointlaw .com Aging Options continues at here Northwest News Radio. The buck doesn't stop here. Hi, this is Rick Fancise, program and news director for Northwest News Radio letting you know that you can learn more by going to agingoptions .com. For blogs, videos, and the Aging Options portal, visit agingoptions .com for blogs, videos, and the portal. Truth be told, most of us procrastinate comes when it to retirement planning. And those of us who do take time to plan are relying on the traditional and outdated retirement planning tools. Using outdated retirement planning tools can turn our retirement dreams of travel, playing golf, family camping trips into a disaster of losing assets to uncovered medical expenses, being pushed into institutional care settings, and leaving loved ones in total despair. You can avoid turning your retirement dream into disaster by using a safe harbor trust, crafted by attorney Rajiv Nagayesh. Join Rajiv at his next free workshops, October 12th in Redmond, October 14th in Federal Way or October 17th in Bellevue. Register for Rajiv's free in -person workshop at LifePointLaw .com. That's LifePointLaw .com or call 253 -838 -3454. That's 253 -838 -3454, 253 -838 -3454. That's LifePointLaw .com. Northwest traffic
All at Once
"once" Discussed on All at Once
"Megan. Thanks for being on the podcast. And i think i found your podcasts. Whenever i was originally thinking about starting my own i literally just searched and giggled. Women who are christians who also are feminists. Has they were so touched. Very little content out there that wasn't afraid of the word. Feminism and so thank you for not shying away from these hard things of course. The name of megan's podcast is faith in feminism. By the way. Which i think is awesome. It definitely was eye catching to me. And i was like. Oh this is. This is what. I need to listen to you right here. So being raised in this kind of fundamental evangelical environment. I i realized looking back that. I was kind of taught what to believe and that i wasn't supposed to question it as i reflect back i remember. There were some things along the way. That i kind of felt uncomfortable with but i just kind of bought into the whole thing because i really kind of felt like. I shouldn't be questioning these. Things are exploring other perspectives. So my whole journey into really starting to deconstruct everything and questions. Some of my long held beliefs. That i now no longer hold to fully really started wayne had a bad experience in christian marriage and with the church as a result of that little under selling i think i i was abused by a man who said he was a christian and promised to love and care for me and then he became abusive and when i started speaking up about it. The message that i got from christians around me was that i needed to be silent and more submissive and that i needed to care more about managing his reputation than my own safety and sanity. So i'm i'm a little bit ashamed to admit that that was the thing that it took me having a personal crisis for me to really to question and dig into all of this stuff. It was very for my own sake..
Spellcaster: The Fall of Sam Bankman-Fried
Fresh update on "once" discussed on Spellcaster: The Fall of Sam Bankman-Fried
"Work with him. Sam would go into intense, almost endless detail. He'd blind them with his logic and reasoning and then once he had them on his side, he'd find the right moment to turn on them. He really, he did have a lot of glee when somebody discovered that he had tricked them and was someone who would just kind of get into the giggles once got he caught. This was Sam's signature tactic, going to great lengths to win the trust of an ally, then stabbing said ally in the back. The Epsilon Theta house also became a place where Sam cut out the kinds of intense conversations he'd grown up with. It was definitely the first time my in life. I've been surrounded by others around my age who actually were
All at Once
"once" Discussed on All at Once
"He's not interested in but of course he had to be there and sending me just hateful messages from across the room when my mom's sitting right there and so i think i knew at that point okay. This is really good. And i got home and i was around my family. I was around my friends. And i think it helped me see. This is love. Yeah and what. I'm going through back there. That is not an really in my belief. God is love like god is the ultimate love and so for me to be able to connect and go into church and have have that feeling of. He's speaking to me right now. I think that's really what opened my eyes to. This is what a loving relationship is like in. This is the what you're in right now is not that and so. That's what really kind of empowered me. Not not just that. But to no i'm away. I'm physically away four hundred miles away from this man. I feel safer. And then ultimately with the whole ending of the relationship it was finding out to make him feel like it was his decision that he was the one in control in order to make it a better smoother out for me tell us about the first overtly abusive episode. What was going through your mind. And what was your reaction. In that moment. I had just been asked to write article for my school newspaper about what. It's like to be a christian in college and in not Article i specifically wrote on waiting for marriage. And that i was so lucky to have a man who is supportive of that. While i think he'd probably been telling his friends something different in so in that came out. I think it really upset him so that night. We got back to my apartment. I was brushing my teeth taking my makeup off for the day and i had just said you know i really wanna just kinda get out of this. Rut where again. I'm looking for a solution. Because i know things aren't bad and i want to blame it on other things right but i asked you. Maybe if it's just us growing a drive or like going out to eat instead of just ordering in every day or like just something. We're maybe we're..
News, Traffic and Weather
Fresh "Once" from News, Traffic and Weather
"The weekend or maybe the Fisherman's Fall Festival which is going on here. It's back since the pandemic. Once we get through the fog and little clouds in the morning, mid -morning, we'll see the skies kind of break open. We'll get to some sunshine. Temperature today will be in the mid 60s and we'll do it again tomorrow. A little bit of rain on Monday. Could see a stray shower Tuesday and it's going to dry again for the rest of the week here. Could hit 70 by next weekend with sunny skies. We'll keep an eye here. on that Current temperature in Seattle 49 here. Northwest News Radio. News Radio 1000 FM 97 your .7 information station. A little bit of adjustment to the rain here in recent days forgot and you to get so cold so quick. Chances are you've turned on your thermostat already at least once or twice. In New City. York What a mess going on there. Traffic alone grinding to a halt after the streets were flooded by record rainfall there in New York ready for this all five boroughs reported several inches of rain Friday it gets crazy Forecasters say a month's worth of rain fell in Brooklyn in just three hours. That's nearly eight inches of rain also a JFK International Airport that's the most rain they're saying it's fallen in a single day in New York City since 1948 New York and New Jersey declared states of emergencies because of the rain. Wait till you see all the video on Social the media House and Senate on different paths still they could both ended a shutdown of the federal government at a minute And after midnight East Coast time that'd be about 9 p .m. our time here the Senate
All at Once
"once" Discussed on All at Once
"And i would just. I was not sleeping. I was crying. All night would have such batting zaidi and i just prayed. God please like i just need. I just need to fill you not. I literally felt like. I was wrapped in his arms. I just felt it. And it's like in those moments of peace where which is pure peace. Docs brie and i My best friend and i had gone to galveston one night. This was right after. All of that happened With getting out of the relationship and finally talking to my parents to her to my sister about everything a little more a little more detailed still not fully one of the things we do in high school was it would just drive down to galveston go to the beach. Sometimes sometimes just for the drive we would literally get there and turn around and it was usually had the music jam now and so we did that because she knew midas french struggling and i was so we needed just a happy a happy moment so we got in the car. Roll the windows down. Headed down forty five in blasted music. And we're singing sound like i'm sure nails on a chalkboard but we got down there and it was dark already and we parked on the beach and i said i really had been praying. Just god please give me peace. Please give me peace for for pretty much every day. Since i got out of that relationship in that moment i just felt nothing but peace and i knew that was a gift. I felt him in the stars. I felt him in the ocean. I felt him sitting in the sand next to me. It was still there. Were still hard days ahead. But i held onto that god is with you. That's powerful so one thing that you kind of touched on was how you're Of ex his relationship with you started to kind of change your relationship with god and how you view yourself and harrell. You've your relationship with god in. I experienced that exactly. Like that's what i would say. That was the hardest thing about what i went. Through as part of that Emotional psychological manipulation was that it changed how i viewed myself in relationship to guide and it changed how i viewed god. Can you talk a little bit about the changes that you noticed in yourself and the changes you noticed in hong you view yourself and god and all of that and how that played out in your relationship. Oh yeah so. I feel i have always had so much confidence in who i am not necessarily let me. I have insecurities believe me like any woman especially but i've always been so firm in. This is who i am. And it's because of christ. Like i know who i am. I know what stanford. I know where i'm going and i'm good with that. So when the relationship started he was not actively going to church. And i was and i said that was something that was important to me. I said i would never date a non-christian and so he told me he was. But he really didn't have relationship with christ like he said he. He was a believer but he didn't really have a relationship with christ but he wanted to and he thought that maybe i had been put in his path to to help encourage him..
News, Traffic and Weather
Fresh "Once" from News, Traffic and Weather
"Dollar piggy bundles limited time only U .S. pricing participation may vary not valid in a combo single item at price regular yeah keep looking outside here for daylight still got about 15 minutes for official sunrise here of September radio it's your home breaking news traffic of weather every 10 minutes on the force once once again John Nelson for the high -performance homes traffic center I heard him breathe together report here on fill in while he has to reboot a microphone we did have a serious holiday on highway three just north of the Amazon warehouse there south of course investigations been going on since about 3 30 this this morning last word there was a detour of Flora Road so give yourself some extra time 520 bridge closed for the weekend for some maintenance that needs to be done there just keep in mind next weekend week to follow the lower Spokane Street bridge will be closed pretty much to all traffic for a solid week they've got to replace some parts there to keep it running smoothly for marine traffic and of course we'll be reminding you of that here through the coming days checking on our forecast here sponsored by Northwest Crawl Space Services we're looking at fog and low clouds sunny weather today temperatures normal
All at Once
"once" Discussed on All at Once
"Season two of the all at once. Podcast is presented by alan and beth stanfield of stanfield properties. Proud sponsors since the podcasts beginning. Contact alan and beth stanfield for all your real team needs though the actual best in every way whenever he starts feeding into that..
WTOP 24 Hour News
Fresh update on "once" discussed on WTOP 24 Hour News
"Coming up on WTOP in just a few moments. It'll be time for the WTOP Mystery Newsmaker contest. Get yourself ready. It's coming up right after these messages. Nobody brings you more value in fine jewelry the than Diamonds Direct and they're proving it again by rolling back interest rates to 0 % but you need to hurry now through Sunday only you can make any purchase and spread your payments over five years with an unheard of interest rate of 0 0%. A $6 ,000 ring is just 100 bucks a month. But hurry. This radical offer ends Sunday at 5 p .m. Miss this once a year blockbuster deal. Hurry. Five years zero interest financing. Get details and more at DiamondsDirect .com. Diamonds Direct. Your love, our passion. Proof credit. If you live in the counties of Fairfax, Arlington, Prince William, the cities of Alexandria, Fairfax, Falls Church, or the towns of Herndon, Clifton, Vienna, and your personal property
All at Once
"once" Discussed on All at Once
"That the implications of that. And they actually changed it. They brought more women in and changed it, but I was just like, you know, we just got to stop this. We've got to put women in the story because women are in the story. It's an injustice for sure. Well, and it doesn't show us the fullness of what happened. It doesn't show us the fullness of God. Yeah. When we don't have women represented, and when women are taught to be silent, it has very big consequences. We're going to talk more about this later on the consequences in your life. That you shared at the end of your book and the consequences of my life are going to kind of end on that, just the evidence of the dangers of that. But before we do that, I have to talk about Paul. Yeah, I was really curious how you were going to tackle that chapter and I am delighted to hear that took you a long time to write it because it felt like it took a long time to write. It felt so nuanced, and I was so grateful for that nuance because I had all of those questions and you answered them. So tell me about Pauline text, what do we do with Paul? How do we interpret Paul? I didn't want to write the poll chapter because I feel like this is where our argument has become jaded that it is simply people throwing proof text at each other over how do we interpret various words? How do we interpret and how it is often? It's the authority. And so on, you know, that is said that women are to be under the authority not to have teaching authority over men. And so vigorous debate about it. I just feel like it got mired. And so I really didn't want to do it. But then my husband actually convinced me, he was like, if you don't get them at Paul, they will not hear anything else..
All at Once
"once" Discussed on All at Once
"And so I love that as a historian, it gives me that big perspective that I think we are lacking in evangelical churches because we have such a narrow view of history. So patriarchy is subordination of women. The law, but it's a systemic, which means that it is not just made by individual decisions. It is made by the structures in which a society is built that always places women underneath the power of men. The fingerprints of that which you mentioned earlier just to connect that arguments systemically how women couldn't get a loan couldn't buy a car. Couldn't do things without the approval of their husband. Those are the fingerprints of the history of patriarchy and American culture. We can look at several examples of picture. He and other cultures, but we'll just stick to American patriarchy here. And one of the things that I say, because patriarchy is a word that turns people away like feminism. Feminism and patriarchy those are loaded words, just like submissions. Right. People quickly will turn away or turn two. Those words. So one of the things that I use in place a patriarchy sometimes just for the sake of getting people to listen to the conversation is gender hierarchy. And it's the same kind of thing, but it's systemic gender, hierarchy, continually over time, to where it's twined with what is truth. Right. And one of the systemic evidences of patriarchy that I used in my book, which is still one of the most shocking examples I think is the wage difference that women in the medieval world made about 70 cents to a male dollar for the same work. And today women make 75 cents on the male dollar. And so I mean, it's just amazing. That continuity despite 7, 800 years that separate us. So that's called systemic inequality. Okay. In your book, you talk about looking for what the Bible actually says about the origin of patriarchy..
All at Once
"once" Discussed on All at Once
"In fact, I have a book in here somewhere that's about the preaching women of the 17th century. And where we see all of these women, you know, the floodgates opened, and they were like, well, I can do this too, you know? And they say this over and over again, they believed that they did have the right and they were called by God to do this. But once again, and I think this is that the world in which we live is patriarchal. This systemic structure and what we saw was the reintroduction. I called it in the book. I said, patriarchy shapeshifted. And it shape shifted and by limiting women's godliness or by defining women's godliness by being a wife, what that did is legally, it put women under the authority of her husband because in the early modern world, early modern Europe, women legally are under the authority of their husbands. And in fact, by the time we get to the 19th century, women really have the legal status of children. And so we see this enforcement to be a godly woman is to be subordinates. You can see how that goes together. Yes, that idea of women being legally subordinate and financially subordinate to men. His carried over into modern day evangelical views to the point where my personal experience is my ex literally would tell me you don't get an equal say and you don't get to help decide how we spend our money or any of the finances and that was backed up with scripture. And I was not the head of the household. In the aftermath of my experiences there, I realized I'm not the only one that this is happening to. This is a common experience in evangelical households. Yes, no, it is. I mean, I tell my students when I'm teaching the modern part of the women's history course, as late as the 70s and 80s, women were not able to do things like bicarbs, get credit cards, et cetera without having.
All at Once
"once" Discussed on All at Once
"They're the actual best in every way. I mean, I think two of the most significant ones are if we think about the woman who anoints Jesus. And this actually happens more than once. And there's conversations about whether it's the same account, told differently or whether it's different women, it doesn't really matter. What we have is we have a woman doing something that in the Bible only a male priest does. And that's a 19 a king. And I mean, this is something that even medieval theologians understood and talked about. It's just mind boggling, that when evangelicals often look at that passage, what we often think about is the sin of the woman. Can you surely. This is the all at once podcast? For women and those who love them. I'm Kelly browning. And I'm Sarah mcduffie. We are God's image bearers, exploring ways, religion has been distorted to silence the marginalized and to justify abuse. We are Christians seeking to comfort, heal and free people from the pain caused by our own religion. We carry much, like all of humanity, all at once. To God be the glory. We want you to know that our show is not for little ears. Also, the content we cover may be triggering for those who have experienced trauma. The people we interview present ideas that we align with and they also present ideas that make us uncomfortable. I invite you to join us in this discomfort as our views, opinions and experiences are challenged. So take what is good and beneficial for you and leave what isn't. Here we go. Sarah Beth and I are together in her office. There are books everywhere it's so dreamy. In Waco and doctor Beth house and bar. Thank you for being on the other one's podcast. Thanks for having me. Patriarchy is fragile. Yes. It's very fragile. I think that the cracks aren't really coming. It's always been fragile. But the cracks are really clear. I think part of my book was people realized that their story is just repeating itself. All of these different churches. And that's one of the reasons why someone asked me very early on. They were like, you didn't mention any names, like everything is very impersonal, like you don't even you don't even mention yearning. You don't mention anything else. And I was like, well, I did that for two reasons. He said, one of the reasons was because it's real people. Yeah. And I was trying to keep something fuzzy, but the other reason was because I wanted people to see themselves in the story. They could put themselves in, you know, this was my women's retreat that I was. This was me sitting in the sermon when I heard something that was outrageous and nobody else is responding to it. I mean, how many women that's happened to you? You've heard something in your mind what did he just say that that she was complicit and rape? What is going on? And nobody else is reacting to. So I think women could see themselves in a lot of the stories I'm told..
All at Once
"once" Discussed on All at Once
"That you're interpreting comes at the very end of the book man you better read that whole entire book before you get to that story because there's so much good stuff leading up to that and it really makes interpreting the passage so much easier on you you're not grasping in asking all the wrong questions and so that leads to this so when you get to the story of the woman at the wheel and you lifted out of context. Here's what happens. Oftentimes we get to that story. And what the first question that people ask they ask. Why was she there alone in the middle of the day. A right wrong question because the story gives us that answer as to why it mentions this detail. It's not about the woman. It's about jesus. It gives context. Jesus is tired and thirsty and hungry. Wise disciples went into get food. It gives us context for why jesus is there alone in the middle of the day. Not why the woman is there in the middle of the day. The other question that we have to answer is the very first thing that it says is. Jesus was traveling through samaria. And he gets to this place to car. And he comes to jacob's well well that's the context of the story and so an astute reader goes. Why is it telling us about jacob's well man. There's a lot there right. It you the focus for what for what questions you need to be asking. So john is assuming that we know about jacob's well will. If you don't know about jacob's well you need to find out. And then it says he meets a woman at a well man that should be. That should alert you to the. How much is packed into this story. Because if you know anything about the old testament all you know that there were women at wells it's like it's you could be a book in itself right about about how the kinds of interactions that women the kinds of interactions. That women had at wells. And so those are the actual important questions that we start asking and so the your original questions there. I think was just about the lens of interpretation. And so those are the lenses that i'm using when i'm interpreting the scriptures and i always really wanna come with fresh eyes i mean. Isn't that how we want to enter. Like i wanna come to the scriptures. Everyday with fresh is in fact. The first thing i pray every day whenever whenever i read his help me this freshly let this be. Let stale bread out me. Read this like with fresh eyes and see something that i haven't seen before even leading up to that sermon. Part of what part of what made me know that. I was gonna preach that particular passage is because i had read it with fresh eyes. And there's something that popped out in that passage to me that had never popped out to me before and is new in my spirit. I had i had. This was a message that it needed to preach. I love that you talked about looking at With fresh eyes and incoming outlets knowing that there's a potential negative bias as they're dangerous consequences when we look at scripture with what we know already or with what we've been tolerating there can be some dangerous consequences that michelle. We talked about the podcast. And i'm glad that you said that. Because that's what i want to talk with you more about. What are some of those consequences i. I know i've heard this story interpreted that.
All at Once
"once" Discussed on All at Once
"For all your real team needs though the actual best in every way the damage that can be done and that i think we need to correct is that we have to be careful that we're not always paintin the female characters in such a way where it was like. Look at this week woman. This daughter of eve. Let's lay all the blame for everything that's wrong on this person because it shapes how we think this.
All at Once
"once" Discussed on All at Once
"That's what I would say. How many reports of sexual assault are actually false? Not very many. And if they are, there's a mental health issue associated with it. And so even then we still have to be compassionate because we have to ask the question, why would this person give this false report? Because there's usually some reason why they would. And so that's why I always say err on the side of belief. It'll get if you err on the side of belief and then turn it into the authorities, it'll get sifted out. They can easily find out if that's true or not. And I'm kind of concerned by male leaders who are like so freaked out about, well, you know, anyone could say anything about me. Well, if you're walking well with the lord, the lord is your defender, and he will, I know that it's hard to have some false report against you, but it's exceedingly rare. And I kind of wonder if maybe people who are saying that are wondering looking back over their lives and going, oh, I wonder when I did that to that person. If that was a salt, you know what I mean? Like they might have some skeletons in their closet that makes the fear real to them. Mary, you have a whole chapter in your book that talks about the power of secrets. What are some reasons that survivors of sexual assault often feel the need to keep silent or to keep secrets? Well, there's definitely especially in a closed family system that's probably the easiest one to look at. You know, if you tell you're going to ruin uncle so and so's life, that thing is huge. And one of the people I'm Friends with, she was talking about how she had this really great relationship with all of her cousins, but when she came out and said this happened to me, the family got split right down the middle and suddenly she had no more cousin time. And so she had to bear the weight of that. And I think that's, you know, that's why people don't tell, because there are consequences. You will mess up someone's reputation. And which they deserve, but it still will happen and it will divide a family and it will divide a church. And so that secret is sometimes I think a lot of us are like, well, yeah, this is terrible, but it's going to be worse if I tell. So I'm just going to keep I'm going to take one for the team here and not tell. What would it look like for churches to give up reputation, power and stability and truly focus on being the hands and feet of Jesus to the marginalized and the abused? I think it comes from the leadership and the culture of leadership within the church. And that culture has to be more about humility and confession of sin and repentance of sin than it is about preserving reputation. God is very capable of preserving reputation. It's not our job to do. And I think that we need to be more consumed with the holiness of Jesus than we are consumed with our standing in the community. And that's why I always appreciate it when a healthy church, you know, I've seen a couple of examples of a healthy church where they find out something happened ten years ago. A healthy church will say, oh my goodness, we're so sorry. I wasn't there at the time, but I apologize, I repent. I'm, you know, here's all the things that we're going to do for you. Here's the dates that this person was at our church and here's a hotline and here's what we're going to do and if you need counseling, like that to me is what a shepherd would do, right? You're taking care of your sheep that have been harmed. And it's more important about the reputation of the holiness of God than it is your own personal holiness. And so it's important. I think people are more attracted to an honest church like that in a church that repents and admits. Why do we keep thinking that, oh no, if I admit I'm wrong, people won't like me anymore. If our church admits an error, then it will it will shrink. Well, okay, let us shrink a little bit, but do the right thing because you're going to be held to account on the day of judgment and wouldn't you rather have done the right thing and protected the innocent rather than protected the guilty? I think we forgot. I don't know. How does your church marry do this? How does your church represent women and survivors? While also holding intention, maybe differing views of women in the Bible. I go to a Southern Baptist church, a large one in the Dallas Fort Worth area. We have I was actually one of the first people to woman to be on the stage in that church. We are continuing to host voices like that. And I think we're moving more toward having that kind of voice we have people in executive leadership who are women. And so things have transitioned and I'm really grateful for that. I always think there's more to do, but when you're a girl in the south and you might hear from my accent, I'm not from the south, but you learn to live within the parameters that are given to you and my little joke is that I can preach a sermon north of the mason Dixon line, usually, but not south of it. So I think I said this maybe in our last interview. But it can be a little frustrating. We'll just put it that way. Like Mary, like you say so many times in her book. I love it 'cause I so know why you say it. I love the church. I have a deep, deep, long-lasting love for the church. The church heals me, the church brings me closer to Jesus in my creator. And unfortunately, all things aren't right yet. Shalom, perfect peace is not going to be possible on this side of heaven, but I have hope for God's kingdom to be here on earth as it is in heaven. And I am going to be relentless in my pursuit of building God's kingdom here on earth right now so that we can experience the fullness of God now as close as we can on this side of heaven. Amen, that'll preach. I conclude the book by that little bit of a metaphor of the water and, you know, a little bit of drops here and there. I can see them dropping on the dusty ground. And not making much of a difference, except for that little spot of earth. And we're not where we should be yet, as you said, I love the church and that's why I wrote the book. I didn't write the book to condemn the church. I wrote the book to encourage and to be a prophetic voice for what could be because I believe that revival is on the cusp, but revival never comes unless there's repentance first. And so part of this drop by drop river by river ocean by ocean comes by all of us coming together and using our voices in humbleness and humility and saying, this isn't right, and we need to do better. And so I think that's my heart for writing week two and I'm seeing it. I'm seeing some of it happen. And that's been really encouraging because as a pioneering voice as someone who has been talking about this issue since the 90s and not being received well until just recently. That's a lot of jungle to hack through. And it's mostly thorny and there's lots of snakes and things that people are biting at me and I get all sorts of, you know, negative things. It's humbling and sweet to see some light come into this situation. I hope that our river joins your river and joins all the rivers that go before us into this mighty, powerful river of justice. And I thank you for walking through that jungle and for being a pioneer. You've paved the way for me and I'm thankful for you. That's sweet. Thanks. Thank you, Mary for joining us, listeners. Go to your favorite bookstore or your favorite bookstores website, look at Mary de meuse, go buy all of her books. She has 43 of them. All of them are phenomenal and wonderful. Thank you, Mary for joining us. My pleasure, thank you. Before you go, if you like what you hear, please consider contributing to our podcast via Patreon, which is a monthly giving platform for creators like us, visit the show notes for details or our website at all at once U.S.. Sarah and I also want to recognize that all at once team who works tirelessly alongside us. Robin bourin is our marketing director, Molly baze is our social media manager and Matty rayna, who designed all of our podcast logos, a special thanks goes out to alita Caldwell. Owner.
All at Once
"once" Discussed on All at Once
"I don't want to get into what's an elder what's a deacon and all that. But all that to say, they're eliminating the only people that could speak life into them or they cause them to be so anemic that they just dismiss everything they say. And we saw this even in willow creek that had female elders. It didn't matter because the structure was such that the person at the top had all authority, and that's where I think we get into trouble. I was just thinking today about how if we never have women speaking from the pulpit to both males and females. If we never do that in a church, a young girl, which is my case, would never see themselves able to speak and lead and teach, which is what happened to me. And so now that I'm an adult in my theology has changed on that, I'm preaching for the first time this Sunday and it's very difficult for me to I'm dealing with a lot of tension because I've never seen that modeled for me until I started attending the church I attend 8 years ago. And so we just missed so many people who would be great leaders for God's kingdom by not representing them from the pulpit. And so I'm glad that that's my high horse, so. Well, I'll tell you a little story when I was in my late 20s early 30s. I don't typically have a vision of anything like I usually am not a visionary God gives me this vision. But this happened to me. And I had this vision and I was standing in front of a crowd and I couldn't number it. It was a large crowd. It was a large auditorium, and there were both men and women in that auditorium. And at this point, in my walk with Christ and I had been in for 15, 20 years, by this time, you know, walk with Christ a long time. And I lived in a pretty progressive area. I was living in the Pacific Northwest of the time, but in my mind, I thought, I don't understand this vision because I can't do that. I'm not allowed to say anything to a mixed group. If all that crowd was women, I would be okay. So it was perplexing for me. And I was confused. Like, why would God give me that vision if it's supposed to be unfulfilled? And then, you know, I flash forward to being able to speak and pray at the Southern Baptist convention where it was mostly men. And that memory came back to me of, okay, I see it now, but I didn't think that I could ever fulfill it. I thought it was a weird like it was like something dangled in front of me that would never happen. I'm so glad you spoke at that convention. I was there, and that's where I bought your book. And my goodness. Yeah. Girl power. So there's this theme in the Bible that it feels like we just too often skip over it, this theme of justice. I feel like in evangelical churches, we emphasize grace and sometimes cheap grace. A little bit too much. And we don't talk about justice. What is going on in the church that this grace is prioritized over justice and there's not this balance really anymore. And why do perpetrators and predators often receive far more grace than the victims and survivors of abuse? I flat out can understand that. But I will say that I have a literary agent and one of my clients is writing a book about this very thing, and I just pitched it today, so I'm praying that it will have favor out there in the publishing world. She's taking the theme of grace and justice throughout the whole Bible and it's brilliant. And she's coming from a very strong theological perspective and if you put the I think part of it is we haven't put that lens on. So when we read the whole Bible, we don't think, oh, I wonder if righteousness and grace can coexist. And if you read through the whole old and New Testament, you see it all the time. And then if you think, well, do those two exist with Jesus oh yes, they do. You can't have both. And cheap grace at what bonhoeffer coined is grace without repentance. And so I am, I'm sorry, but if someone feels bad for getting caught for harming someone and they cry, that doesn't necessarily mean their repentant. It means they were caught in their sad that they got caught. If they're a pedophile, they have had hundreds of victims. It's the stats are very clear. And so, but they know how to work a room. And so we are more convinced by the tears of a pedophile than we are by the tears of a victim. In your book you say all crime is a sin, not often is a crime. Why is it so important for us to know the difference between that? Well, right. So I often I have to ask God for forgiveness all the time, but that sin is not land me in jail. There's a big difference between going to the lord and getting on my knees and repenting for saying that white lie or trying to say something to make me look cool or whatever versus a human being who constantly spends their life learning how to prey on little children. That is a crime that is different. And there is degrees of depravity and we see it in Romans one, God gave them over. And I can't think of a better example than a pedophile who has been given over to their desires and they continually continually think about how they can perfect their technique so that they can do it more and more and more. It's why we see with Josh Duggar that the images that he downloaded were can't even talk about them. Just so depraved. One of the things that I really appreciate in your book is your push to share stories and to report abuse report crimes because crimes are criminal and they belong with the police not the church. But that's really hard to do and sometimes reporting abuses risky. Why is that? Well, first of all, say we have to. If it is a minor. So if you know about a minor being harmed, I don't care how uncomfortable that is, you have to report it. It's the law you have to. And even if it's not the law, I think it's the law of love. You have to, because they can not defend themselves. Where it gets tricky is when you have an adult person who has been harmed by somebody else and now we're talking about volition. And you don't want to go behind their back and tell their story for them. That involves a lot more nuance and conversation and support. So you can say things like, wow, that's terrible. Have you ever reported it to the police? Have you ever felt comfortable doing that? No, I don't want to, or whatever. We need to respect their right to do that. However, if they're 12 years old, 15 years old, we have a we have to report it. Yeah, for sure. There's people have all kinds of opinions about should victims be pushed to report or should they just be supported in whatever their decision is or and then there's the whole other side of that issue or sometimes they're silent. So they're told not to report because the ruined grandpa's life, right? The reputation of the perpetrator. But yeah, every situation.
All at Once
"once" Discussed on All at Once
"Today. What is the church missing. I think it's just a sensitivity to the holy spirit within think we've quenched the spirit for so long that we've we don't hear any more in the spirit within is going to say. Go across the street and help. That person is going to say. Go empathize with that person. Who's hurting and if we've been quenching the spirit for years and years and years we're never going to know what a sound. What he sounds like anymore. I think we're i think also were in love with power and domination and we have wrongly felt that christianity was a was a religion of just get the right people in the right places and we need to have all this power and If only we can have all this. Then things will be better. I used to always think it was weird. Like when a celebrity met jesus and christians back off so good what a great testimony and i just think that's not really the way the kingdom works. The first will be last. The last will be first. The small of a big in the big will be small. And so jesus isn't going to build his kingdom through cool celebrity people. He's gonna build his kingdom through outcast and people who have been broken by the world and who have understood that it's his strength in our weakness and you know that scripture about god chooses a foolish to shame the wise. I just think that's really what it's about. I think Part of our problem is the body of crisis. We worship celebrity worship certain kinds of men. We worshiped certain types of leaders because they get things done but we jesus was never liked that he wasn't ever like that and he didn't come in to overthrow rome. He came in to overthrow our sins. And so i think we just need to re preach the gospel to ourselves. Thank you for sharing heart of survivor in the second episode with mary. We're gonna take a closer look at. What scripture specifically tells us about sexual assault and what churches must do in order to become a safer place for survivors of all kinds of abuse and violence. So thank you mary. I appreciate your time in my pleasure. Thank you and thanks for letting me preach. I live south of the mason dixon. Line sun ever get to. It's always nice to kind of preach a little in the south before you go if you like what you hear. Please consider contributing to our podcast. The patriot on which is a monthly giving platform for creators. Like us visit the show notes for details or our website at all at once dot us. Sarah and i also want to recognize the all at once team who works tirelessly alongside us. Robyn boran is our marketing director. Molly bays is our social media manager and matt raina who designed all of our podcast logos especial. Thanks goes out to a leader. Caldwell owner funky monkey a boutique in shop in our hometown. Who loaned us a professional podcasts face. Which helped make our lives easier and more balanced and also exponentially elevated the quality of the podcast. There are two more people. I have to shot out before you stop listening to this episode. And not as larry's designs and friends would and lastly and probably one of the coolest people that i need to talk about. Is kate short. She wrote the music. You here in.
All at Once
"once" Discussed on All at Once
"Well. I don't really wanna take a side. I don't want to blame anybody. I wanna make sure. I'm still in a good relationship with everybody. What is wrong. with that. kind of response. When somebody discloses any kind of abuse or assault it means that we have forgotten that god is on the side of the downtrodden. And if we side with the one empower who has the power then we're not on the side of the lord. It's as simple as that. I remember a time where My husband was in seminary dallas theological and we were in a small group or i i was leading a group of women and one of them basically disclosed that she is being hammered on by her husband. And you know we could have got his side of the story but it she had small children and we basically risked our lives and protected her He started stalking us and we had to call the police. It was really scary but that was the right. I don't want sing this to sam so cool or anything but it was the right thing to do because she was helpless and he was harming her and so i don't ever see jesus not jumping into those kinds of situations. He he did intercede when people were hurting he did dignify people who are on the outside or the outcasts of the world. He always almost always cited on the side of the one that's unseen and Chastise the ones who were super cool and had it all together and were actually harming the jewish people with their regulations and rules. So if we want to be more like jesus we need to. We can't just close our eyes because then the world's gonna go on as it's always gone on. The enemy of our souls is going to win. He loves to steal kill destroy. he's a liar. He loves the darkness he puts things he loves to keep people in darkness and he does not like rescue and he certainly doesn't like image bearers or light bears coming into a situation rescuing people. But that's what jesus said. He said i actually i. Donna says jesus came for this very reason to destroy the works of the evil one in if we are christ followers part of that is rescuing people from darkness and any time. What i hear you saying any time. Someone comes forward with a harm. We should know how to respond to that. And i understand though that more often than not adults do not respond well to any kind of disclosure reviews because they haven't practiced it in particular with sexual cases of abuse. We don't talk about it in churches. We don't rehearse our responses and we don't know how to respond appropriately so we end up fumbling in you and we're going to talk in detail about how a church can respond whilst survivors in the second part of this episode. So just hold on to that. Thought if you're like what is the church to do. We're going to answer that in a little bit. But in your book you talk about several phrases. That are common for survivors to here. I was literally shocked. That had to put the book away and cry. And come back to it that you said the very things people in my family sets in one instance i disclosed my assaults and ask for help with the investigation at the instruction of the detective was covering my case. I was assaulted as a child also did not report it until twenty years later. Because i didn't know that what happened was sexual assault. I thought i was an active participant in it until i attended a training and in that training talked about the markers of someone who's been assaulted and i had all of them and that's when the puzzle pieces started to come together and i and heal the family member whenever i approached him said that he couldn't believe i was assaulted. Because i'm so strong. And so he ended up choosing to not assistant detective with the investigation because of that and a slew of other comments that basically some up to me being a liar about my abuse. His comments in his response felt like a new betrayal that secondary trauma. We've been talking about the felt. Like can even deeper wounds morris fonseca's i've got where why didn't you tell me making my salts about them instead of about the assaulter and they assaulted. Why didn't you say something. I would have killed him if you have told me. Why are you just now reporting. You're doing it for attention. What if your report ruins their life. So after i reported i once again felts and was abandoned by my family to deal with my assault on my own without their protection and guidance that a family unit is supposed to to surf. Can you tell me a little bit more about what's problematic and also really common about these responses again. I think we're going back to the happy world. Your family doesn't want you to. They don't wanna believe this happened and it's easier for them to say maybe it didn't because you're so strong and you probably would have resisted so it must not have happened or you know whatever. Excuse that they'll say it's it's dismissive. it's wrong it's unfair. It's unkind and romans. Twelve very clearly says rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep kind of frame my answer with with a story and i think i shared this way too but i was in south africa at the world. Evangelization congress for cape twenty. Ten and i was at the table leader and i had been praying that the people at my table will be from all over and one of my prayers was. I really want to meet someone from the persecuted. Church which he one of them was there and then another guy was there who is from south africa who had his own difficult story of violence in and things like that but we all kind of shared our stories and on the very last day he came up to me and he said i have to say something to you and i want you to pay attention to me and i just felt like the holy spirit was saying. This is a holy moment. You need to just pay very close attention. So i did. And he got on his knees before me and he said i want to apologize for every man that has ever hurt you and violated you. I am so sorry. Please forgive us and he really did like the thing that justices about daniel had those kinds of prayers. There's a there's a lot of people in scripture that prey on behalf of a nation that the sins of the nation without even having to be their own sins and so this is what my friend malcolm did for me. That was such a beautiful response to my story and he cried and i cried and that was probably the best response i've ever had another best response is just a friend crying saying i'm so sorry that happened to you. That's really all we're looking for. We're not looking for you to solve our problems. We're not looking for. You certainly not looking for you to blame us for not telling you. That's one of the most frustrating ones. First of all people need to realize that most people don't tell in the moment it takes them until their late twenties usually to tell also with me in my story. I was five years old. I did tell. I told my babysitter. What was going on. She told me she would tell my mom she didn't but i thought she did and the abuse kept happening so in my mind. I'm thinking well everyone knows. I guess this is okay. And then when. I finally retold my mom. A decade later took me a decade to get to that place of being able to say this happened. I had to tell her the story like eight ten twelve times before she would finally believe me. She wouldn't believe me the first time the second time for the third time or the four-time or the fifth time had to keep telling the story. I only chalk that up to the fact that i had just met. Jesus and i had i had the strength of the lord to be able to say no dang it happened and i'm gonna make you believe that happen if it takes me telling the story over and over again when i did go back to that place of violation a couple of years ago and it was the first time i'd ever been back and i'm in my fifties now so it was like decades for at least four decades and so when people say.
All at Once
"once" Discussed on All at Once
"Powerlessness to those who are in power to those who have the power to kill him and did But what's what's amazing about these woes is how they functioned in the gospel of matthew to not get into too much detail to say this. Jesus starts his public. Teaching ministry with the beatitudes is the first thing. He teaches publicly. The lasting he teaches publicly are the seven woes. They functioned like matching book ends and like all paired book and they face in the opposite direction so the beatitudes command the character. Traits of shoe disciples the seven woes condemn the these religious leaders for the opposite. They're the negative image of the beatitudes. You can go through those two lists and see how they're basically saying the same thing. I mean case in point blessed are the pure in heart for the shall seek hypocrites. You are blind guides you know of so you can see that over and over again list. So what does this teach us about. How sin is moving against god. My first professor. I had in seminary dr gary detto cookie. Short guy. wonderful wonderfully brilliant. Though and he talked about he likened our experience of god's love to sailing he loved to sail and he said you know. One time i was sailing off the coast of going to a catalina island are stolen due west. He set and the wind was was at our back. It was blowing a straight towards the island and he said you know everything was peaceful. We were moving at the same speed as the windswept waves so the water seemed perfectly still. There was no breeze because we were moving the same same speed as the breeze. He said you could hear the birds feel the sun on your back but actually ran out of time so they had to turn around halfway now in a good sailboat. You can actually go against the wind. You can zigzag about a forty five degree angle and you rotate right at the center of the boat. So you just turn almost instantly when he turned around and he said as soon as we turned around and against the wind whole experience suddenly changed. Suddenly the wind is roaring we fight against the sales of flapping wave after wave is eating against the plo. Drenching them they're cold. They're wet now. He went on to say you. You would swear that mother nature had just unleashed all her fury upon you but the only thing that's actually changed is you. Yeah and he went on say. That's what our experience of god's love is like. And i would to now shape it more into to the question. That's what it feels like when we are moving against god. God's love is not like those heart reading cards sentimental of that just says nice things all the time you know the scriptures say that god disciplines those she loves that and and so god's love is like the wind is always moving. it's always blowing. It's always pointing us towards god in a better way of living. The jesus way now we can resist that and we do we. Might you'll as if god has unleashed all Upon us but the truth is nothing. The only thing that's changed is us. God's love is still willing are good gotta still with us in that. Were just finding more guiding his love which i relate to as apparent just yesterday morning i five year old was throwing a fit. That would probably win. An oscar fight filmed it and i held you know. I had to restrain him because he was starting to hit..
All at Once
"once" Discussed on All at Once
"For women and those who loved them. I'm kelly ramming. And i'm sarah mcduffie. We are god's image bearers exploring ways. Religion has been distorted to silence the marginalized and to justify approves. We're christians seeking to comfort. He'll and free people from the pain caused by our own religion. We carry much like all of humanity. All at once to god be the glory we want you to know that our show is not for little ears also the content we cover may be triggering for those who have experienced trauma. The people we interview present ideas that we align with and they also present ideas that make us uncomfortable. I invite you to join us in this discomfort as our views opinions and experiences our challenge so take what is getting beneficial for you. And what isn't area jason porterfield. Welcome to the all at once. Podcast my friend thanks kelly. I'm really excited to be here. It's an honor when i was in the beginning stages of this podcast jason out. And if you remember this but after youth group one night. I was doubting my purpose. I wanted to quit. Everything was too difficult. The risks were too costly. And i told you that. Because i know you were kind of walking this path your book and you said something like but you have to. The world needs to hear your story. It's too powerful and that motivated me to press back into the work. And i will never forget that. Wow thanks for sharing that. I remember that. But i'm so thankful you did the first season just so impactful for my own life so i'm so glad you're doing this. I'm glad that you're here. You don't remember. But jason's y dr laura porterfield share with us in season one and she also co preached with me on mother's day which was my first time ever delivering sermon. And when i imagine god being with me when i do hard things i remember that comfort and peace and strength. I felt when i look next to me when we are preaching in salt. Laura i remember what that felt like as we preach together laura and jason are tangible. People i look to on earth to remember how that sees me delights. Me weeps with me and comes alongside me to encourage when i do hard things. What jason neier. Kicking season two with is a chat about the concept of power. What is power how jesus encountered power. What he did with his own power and how. We see that playing out an american church culture. Today jason is writing a book titled fight like jesus. I just learned the title on saw the cover..