22 Burst results for "Nikki Glaser"
RISE Podcast
"nikki glaser" Discussed on RISE Podcast
"And I'm going to get this damn book. I appreciate it. I mean, you're really good at what you do. I really inspired by Yoda. So lucky to have met you and being able to do this podcast and just been turned on to you in a new way, which I'm like having listened to that just that one podcast. Send it to all my Friends immediately. You're very special and I'm so excited to dive into all of your work because you are the real deal and I'm so thrilled that I even got to talk to you today. Such a gift. So tell them, where do they find you? They want tickets. They want more of you. I'm on tour right now, big time. So there's so many tour dates. Nikki glaser dot com. I'm doing like a residency type thing in Vegas. For like four weekends with David Spade. So that is going to be an amazing show, but I'm all over the place touring. It's such a fun show. I would not, like, there have been times I've been on tour and it's been like, you should probably skip this. And I had to promote it. But this time, it's like, no, it's such a good show. It's all new material. Nothing you've heard in any of my specials. And I have tons of specials that you can watch to gear up for it. I have many on Netflix and then I have a brand new one that was just nominated for a critics choice award on HBO called good clean filth that came out in July of last year. And then you can listen to me. I have a podcast that I do two times a week on iHeartRadio called the Nikki glaser podcast and it's very much like this just honest conversations and just working things out. So I hope to have made some new fans today and I certainly am a new fan of yours. So thank you so much. Thank you too. Have a fantastic day of fantastic week. Good luck with the egg freezing. And I thank you so much. You've really changed my life today. Your major ramifications after this conference. I can not wait to hear where we go from here. The Rachel Hollis podcast is produced by me. Rachel Hollis. It's edited by Andrew weller and Jack noble.
AJ Benza: Fame is a Bitch
Is Caitlyn Jenner Doing Anything for the Transgender Community?
"Well, in walks onto the ranch, Caitlin Jenner. And she eventually sits down with bird and the female very, very blue comedian, Nikki glaser, who's great. She's a great comic. And they decide they didn't throw axes at a bull's eye from 20 feet away to, I don't know, get the anger rather bodies, and as they throw the axes, they exclaim things that really bug them its own fucking nonsense. But I'm watching this. And here we have a former decathlon champion. Once the greatest athlete in the world, and this is where he is now. It's hard to imagine he's happier with this new identity throwing axes. While wearing heels at a fucking bull's eye at some malleable ranch with two comedians that I know he's never probably heard of. I don't know what the paycheck was for. It couldn't be that much. Just very depressing for me to see? I don't know how Caitlyn Jenner felt, but good God. And then as if we never heard the story before, he goes into his cross dressing thing again and how it began and what it was like and blah blah blah. How many fucking times can we hear him talk about picking out a dress, is that all there is? Aren't we done with this shit yet? And now he's won. Now he's famous for being famous, like, his children, like his stepchildren. Has he changed anything about transgenders and the rights they all demand? It's easy for a rich guy with a gigantic platform to go and get the operation and become a woman, but what does he really done for the cause? I know he's invited on every show and he's paid a handsome fee to talk to industry leaders about transgenders and what have you. But what the fuck has he done? Her daily life looks nothing like that of the rest of the transgender community. And by keeping the focus solely on one high profile individual, much of the real story is being left out of the conversation. Don't you think?
Netflix is A Daily Joke
"nikki glaser" Discussed on Netflix is A Daily Joke
"I'm single and like I just like don't want to be anymore. I just I want a boyfriend so bad. I really and I know you're not supposed to say that. I'm reading all these books right now about how to trick a man into loving you. And you know the titles are like always written in like angry lipstick or period blood and it's just like why men love bitches or like getting two I do. I'm reading one right now. It's good. I'm in the middle of it. It's called fake it till you kill yourself. And I can't wait to finish it. Because I'm so exhausted with being single. The book say don't say you want a boyfriend. I know I already fucked that up. They definitely say don't talk about it into microphones on globally streaming platform services, but I want a boyfriend and another rule, ladies, listen up. The second rule is look fuckable all the time. All the time. Look fuckable. I have to wear makeup all the time now. And I know you guys are like, oh no, Nikki, you're beautiful. And it's like, I know, I know, without makeup, I am a beautiful man. Without makeup, I look like a yoga instructor named jesper. That's kind of my vibe. You can't risk going out without makeup. Are you joking me? I'm single. That's the thing. Whenever I throw my hair up in a bun, first of all, it's a man bun now. Like, men own buns. Who has a stolen the most fun, easy style from us. I can't wear my hair in a bun. The only safe style for a woman now when you wear your hair up is a high ponytail. Don't you dare take that from us. Don't you dare. I'm serious. Buns are safe anymore. Keep the high phone. If I ever wear a low phone, low bones, I've never been safe. When I wear low bone without makeup, I look like Beethoven. That hasn't been mine for centuries. I swear to God, you have to wear makeup all the time. If you're single, do not leave the house without making. If I see a girl without makeup, I always am just like, oh my God, someone loves her. That is so, what is that like? It's not feminist to say this. It isn't, but it's like, do you expect to find your, what if you're in line at the drugstore? And you're soulmate is in line next to you. The guy that you're meant to be with and you don't have makeup on and you don't have a hot outfit on. How is he supposed to know every best trait that you have that aren't your looks? 'cause I know you have a lot. I have tons. I have the Gisele Bündchen of personalities, but it doesn't mean shit unless I draw shadows on my face to make it look like I have bone structure, I do not have. He's not gonna look at me with my man face and my hair up in a bun and just know that I'm loyal. I'm funny. I do anal, like all of my best. That's stuff that comes out later. You get it. So have I ever go out without makeup? Have I ever do? Because sometimes you want to let your skin breathe. I always have to wear my eye do anal shirt. And that's just like, that catches the eye. But it's always in the wash, you know? 'cause. I'm such a whore. That's why I want a boyfriend. Can I be clear about this? I don't want a boyfriend 'cause I want to get married and settle in. I want a boyfriend so I can feel safe being a whore again. That's what I want. I really just I want a guy to date me for a couple months so I can feel safe to get lead out of my cage a little bit. And then put back into one, 'cause that's what I'm into. I really, I can't do this anymore. I can't casually hook up anymore. It hurts too much to hook up with the guy. I can't stand it when you come in my mouth and then you stop watching my Instagram story the next day. Why'd you drop off? You washed it before. What happened? Oh, is there anything more pathetic the next day when you're trying to wait for that guy to watch your story again? And you post one, you're like, hey guys, but you're really being like, hey guys, that I'm waiting to watch this. And you like touch your mouth to remind him where his dick was hours before. And you're like, oh, hey. And then you're just refreshing, waiting for him, and then your dad DMs you like killing it, Nick, and you're just like, not meltdown. He's like, would you have for breakfast? And I'm like, do you really wanna know, dad? An ounce of calm and half a kind bar, okay? That is exactly. A kind bar and a mean low dad. What flavor mixed nuts? What else, dad? I'm just. I just want to be a whore. I really do. I am such a whore, but outside of a relationship, I don't feel safe being a whore. I really don't. And for a while, I was like, oh, maybe if I don't have sex, maybe if I don't let them in my puss, I won't get attached. Maybe if I just blow guys. So I was blowing guys and that's not safe either girls. There's something about it's like closer to your heart or something. I go crazy. Catch Nikki glaser's standout set on the degenerate season two..
Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"nikki glaser" Discussed on Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"Ask them about themselves, offer to give them a ride if they need something, pick up some food for them if they're at a weird hotel, get them some pot if you know, be helpful without asking for anything in return and I swear to God this headliner will be like, you want to go to dinner tonight? Hey, come by and do a guest set. And then that's how you're going to get in. And it's just a good life lesson. Just be helpful, but focus on the funny on your own, just be cool to be around and don't be too cocky and don't ask people to watch your set. Please ever, ever, ever, ever. And last one, you did answers before, let's see if there's a new one. Do you have a joke that you thought was really funny? You can never get to work, but you'll go to your grave being like, I was right. They were wrong. Oh my God. Yeah, there's one of my act right now that definitely needs to be taken out because it's just crickets every fucking time. Oh, what did I tell the dog come joke before? No. Okay. You told one that I believe is in this set. I can't remember what it was. I have a feeling it was. Yes. My mom molested me. Yes. Yes, is that? Okay, so this one is, I talk about getting come in my eye at one point and going to the doctor and getting these drops from my eye that made it so that I didn't get an eye infection. I kept them in my bag forever. And then, and then my dog eventually gets an eye infection, and I have his eye drops in my bag, and they got mixed up, and so I just, it's a much longer bit than this. This is me, there's tons of punch lines. I swear to God, Chelsea, I can't wait for you to hear it someday. I won't let you down. But it gets to the point where I don't know what drops are for my dog and which ones are because they're not labeled and not a person that pays attention to that stuff. And so I was like, so, you know, I gave my dog both the drugs. So I would just at least get it right, but the hardest part was just getting the comment as I. And no one ever likes that, but I think it's so funny that I think I need to create the ailment to treat it. And just what kind of come do I do? Is it dog? I'm like all these that one. I always have to say, that's my favorite joke. And then people like it. That's totally a save. That's totally a charlatan magic trick of being like, well, I like that joke. But as long as it's true, I will keep saying it because it is true, it makes me laugh. It makes me think of putting my dog's eye, it's ridiculous, and so yeah, that's that. I mean, this question is legitimately that save in a question form, which is just sort of like, what is a context for you to say this thing that's not funny? That's funny. No, you give me, you've given me so many of those. The excuse to brag, the excuse to tell a bad joke. It's awesome. Thank you. Thank you, the
Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"nikki glaser" Discussed on Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"It's now time for our final segment. It's called the laughing round. It's like a lightning round because it's because this is comedy. It's called the laughing round. Oh, thank you so much. I thought it was going to be something stupid. No, it's very smart. And also you've done some of these before, but we'll see if you haven't done it. Let's see. Do you have a favorite joke joke? Like a street joke? Oh yeah, I think I've probably done this one before, but yeah, what's the difference between a rhinoceros and a refrigerator? What? Are you stupid? That's only when I can ever remember. But it's still nice to hear. I assume it's probably updated because time has passed, but I understand if not, is there a joke you wish you could steal? Oh yeah, I'll go David Spade this time. David Spade's it's my favorite. It might be one of my favorite jokes ever. I listened to it every time I go to Vegas and I always make whoever's driving me laugh so hard because it's a perfect amount of time to listen to it in the car ride from the airport to the hotel because such a quick ride. And it's about giving a girl directions it's about how confusing the hotel rooms are in Vegas and giving a girl directions to your room to come over late night later. Go just listen to it's on Spotify and I just search just search David Spade, go to his one album that's on there. I think it's from like 2014, 15, something like that. And then look at the one that's called Vegas. And you will see you will hear one of my favorite jokes ever. In the whole thing, they talk about he talks about circus circus about his friend who is convinced that Vegas is like hooking him up. He's like, yeah, they caught me flights, hotel. And he goes, oh, what did that $75 plane ticket on Southwest? You got the covered? Ground, totally covered. Spades like, oh, you mean that 7 minute ride? So I was just like, he's like, how down are you? Probably like 50 grand. He's like, wow, yeah, they're really going all out on you. So it's just spade is one of the best ever. I'm so lucky to be friends with him, but take the hit. That special is one of my favorite specials ever. And then that bit. And his most recent special is fantastic as well, but yeah, that Vegas bit from a couple of specials ago, I think. Do you have a short story of an interaction with a legendary comedian living or dead that you're willing to share with us? Yeah, Chris Rock one time was getting off stage at the comedy cellar and he had a great set, obviously. And I remember thinking, I don't need to say great set as he walks by me. Like, he knows it was. Even though that's protocol. And then I had a moment where I go, am I ever not going to want to hear great set, no matter who I am, and the truth is, I will always want to hear it. So I said great set and you could see him look at me like, oh, thanks. It mattered because the more famous you get and the more undeniably good you get less and less people say, good job, because everyone assumes they hear it all the time. What percentage of the time do you accidentally say fuckboy? 3% of the time. It really becomes common, it feels so weird at first to be like, all these F boys here, and then within the end of the day, the first shooting. I thought it was going to be a ridiculous term, but you really just, and the hardest part is calling the other guys good guys. Because sometimes I'd call them nice guys, and they're like, no, we branded them good guys. So that's the tough one. So F boys is easy. You were very good, I thought as a adviser judge on that drag race episode. Thank you. I felt like you gave them helpful notes. And it's in a challenge that I feel like needs someone giving them helpful notes. I thought so too. I felt like, oh, I see where I fit in here, and man, I had never watched drag race. I didn't care for drag queens. I didn't get it. But do I get it? Now, oh my God, that day was transformative for me. It really was like, I don't think it was captured as much as it was for me, but there were tears shed. I just saw these people who probably weren't that cool in high school and felt so different and didn't like who they were, who they were born as doing the thing that people said that, you know, instinctually they want to be a little bit more feminine. These are gay men. And to not only go, okay, I'm going to be gay, but I'm going to be a fucking really annoying woman with tons of sass and pizazz in your face. It's like with such a fuck you that I really, I know I'm late to the game and getting the appeal of drag queens, but man, I was just feeling it that day. I was like, I get this. You guys are so brave. This is beautiful and yeah, I thought that and they were amazing performers. I mean, it was literally judging, you know, people who are more professional than I am been working longer at this. So it was cool. Gave any bites for an aspiring comedy maker comedian. Yes. I love this question, because I have a different answer than anyone. Everyone will tell you on stage as much as possible, which is so true. But also, be cool. Don't ask comedians you work with to watch your set and give you advice. Don't ask, don't ask for advice. Just be fun to be around because it's really hard to make it as, unless you're an overnight success and just get plopped into something, you're going to be at this for a while and you're not going to make money until you're a headliner. So you need to get to be a headliner as soon as possible. And that is only going to be from learning how to feature, which is longer sets. And the only way to get out there and feature and make money at it, and because bookers do not give a fuck, they just plug in the same features every weekend. You have to glom onto a headliner and have them bring you out. And the reason I had to bring you out is not because you're funny, which I hope you are. It's because you're a good hang. It's because you don't require a lot of attention. It's because you make them feel good about themselves, you help them out. So when a headliner comes to town and you're a local comic, be very complimentary, don't talk about yourself, comedians, especially road comics are lonely, and they are narcissists, so compliment them, genuinely.
Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"nikki glaser" Discussed on Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"So they never asked her. And then all of a sudden she hears about it. And so I had to drop that joke, but man. But then, you know, I always say, whenever I forget a joke, or I am on a talk show and I forget to do this thing that I loved or they tell me I can't, I always suffer so much being like, fuck this, that's the best joke I have. Like, woe is me. Thank God I didn't do that joke, because then I get to do it on Howard Stern, and it has a life of its own. So that joke wasn't meant for that time, but man, it was a good one. It's such a me joke, too. That was the part I liked about it. I was like. This is exactly what Nikki glaser would do, which is one. You're taking what people assume is going to be with the joke is, and then going the other way and do a misdirection. And what I liked about that joke was I didn't want to make any trans jokes. I ended up doing some, but at first I didn't want to make fun of that she used to identify as a man. And so I believed the first part of that joke. You are a beautiful woman. She is. She is a woman through and through. She always has been. So I liked that joke because it wasn't about that. What I didn't like was that and what I was worried about was the woman who died in that car crash. Her family. But at the same time, I was like, well, this is kind of sticking up for her by acknowledging that she died and that he said kill in the car. You don't say died because of the car accident. You do like be like you kind of like kill and she didn't like it was an accident. It was like, but as soon as I found out it was something that would deeply upset her and that made me feel good because she has remorse and that's a thing in her life that she's so ashamed of, which she allowed us to talk about everything else, which she doesn't have shame over, which is great. Even being a bad father to be half of her children, the Brody jenners, I said that she was like a deadbeat dad at one point. And she was like, I was and like cheering me on. She was able to account for things that she deserved, but she didn't deserve to be called a killer. And so yeah, I appreciated that. She had that boundary and I respected it. But if they're about a sexual allegation about you when you were in college and conversation says I can't say it. I think I'm gonna stay. That's the little different. If there are allegations of you being a sexual pervert that I kind of believe the woman's side, I'm gonna make a roast joke about it. Do I know it's not gonna hair? Yeah, but are there people in that room that might need to know? Sure. And do you need to be reminded? Yeah, is it gonna be weird at the after party? Yeah, damn
Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"nikki glaser" Discussed on Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"Just topless, you know, not like Bush, but a nude stand up special. And first of all, I would make a lot of money just by people because it's nude and it's titillating. But really, now I'm kind of thinking, I might actually do that because it is a fuck you. And I don't understand why I can't have my boobs out. Not that I even want them to be up, but because you say they can't be, I really do want them out now. And so it was funny because I took off my shirt and Georgia and then the next night we were in Mississippi. It ended up getting rained out, but I was going to put pasties on my nipples with Bert's face on them. I was going to take it up a notch the next night. The show got canceled, so that didn't end up happening. But the production kind of told me, hey, we might not want to do that tonight because we're in Mississippi. And I go, what do you? That's exactly why you want to do it. It's different rules. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me that I couldn't put stickers on my nipples at a nighttime comedy show where people are talking about every other thing that and man did that fire me up. And I am not a bra burning feminist, but the more the shit happens, the more I'm getting lit up by it. So look forward to that in my act. But I will always still try to be funny and I'll always still try to appeal to men because at the end of the day I am just a woman who wants to be loved and wants to survive. So I'm kind of dependent on men liking me for that. The other thing you said in one of the emails was that one of the problems you have with comedies you can't be genuine or you can't be earnest in it that it's like because you need to do a joke on it and you've rested that it's like a bit of the nanette problem of like you cut off the part where you're really getting into it and it's like why you wish you're a musician and then I was thinking about you put out that Bob Saget song and like a lot of the trash. Yes. Of course. Do you feel like there are comedians who would be like, for this next minute we're not gonna be funny or this next, however like warning them. Not even warning. You can do whatever you want. You're in charge. I mean, it's free speech, right? Free speech is not just your same words. It means laws of comedy. No, they're not. Well, comedians are so desperate for the approval of the coolest comedians and the coolest comedians are like, it's about the joke. It's about making people laugh. It's about like and any kind of departure from that, which terrifies sorry men, but emotional vulnerability, terrifies men and comedians are most male comedians are terrified men. And so when we're on stage doing something that we have an easier ability to do because we're women and we've been conditioned to be talking about our feelings more. When we all of a sudden have this thing that is not something that comes easy to you as a comedian and then you make these rules where it's like, well that's not comedy and it's like or is it like this accordion that it can be different things? I don't know. I mean, I think that I'm insecure about being sincere and I fight it as much as I can and I'm trying to be more and more in my comedy and in life but I do understand why comedy works in ways that music doesn't. So as much as I used to be like kind of upset about how it's always just relieves the tension. It doesn't make you sit in the awkwardness. I found ways to sit in the awkwardness enough and then relieve it and people can go home and still be thinking about the uncomfortability that I left in them. That is going to make them maybe see things differently. There's a happy medium. So the first time you were on, we talked about roast jokes. And I feel like in full transparency and I think it would be nice to let people know that after that happened, you did another roast and I reached out and asked if I could help. Oh yeah. Yes. Did your jokes pick it on? So the one gone on TV and then one famously they wouldn't let you do. Yeah, oh my God, my best joke. Okay, so when I get a roast, I hire a writer's room of people. Hundreds of people. And it was amazing to see truly like, I was just like, I threw a friend, I was like, and she's like, sure, and then I sent it, and then you were giving prompts, and then you're sending email updates, like, okay, now we need things about crazy. It's a lot of work, and I do, I do a lot of jokes that I didn't write. I do a lot of jokes that I do write, and I would do all jokes, I didn't write if those were the best ones, so I still write jokes, but man, that one you gave me, Caitlyn Jenner, what a beautiful woman you killed with your car. It was going to be my intro to her, you know, as you set up each person, it was so perfect, it crushed every time from the first time I did it to like, you know, and no jokes go through that. It was just a sure fire one that I had to drop. You know, the day of because I found out that if anyone references that she's going to walk because she heard she heard rumblings that that joke was circulating. And I immediately pulled it as soon as I knew it would upset her. I don't have any central as soon as you as soon as I hear from her that I can't do jokes about her car accident. I won't do him, but they were too pussy because they didn't want to make her run away from it altogether by being like, hey, can we talk about this?
Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"nikki glaser" Discussed on Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"Honestly, I like the end of the joke where I go off about get your old body off their stop. Get off them and let them heal. Listen, I'm not really telling guys to dump your girlfriend and go let her heal and that all girls that date older guys are trauma victims. I'm not saying that. What I like about the joke is that I start out and I get accused story and then I say, actually, I'm not mad at you. And then I get back to being mean again and now I'm going, now I'm going back to me Nikki, which is just like and you're fucking pedophile. Let her heal you weird. She's a victim. You're a perpetrator. So I take away what I just gave them, which is like, I empathize. Nope, take it away. So in the end, we kind of go through the whole range of emotions regarding this. And back to where we started of just unbridled anger about aging. There's two joke jokes or like funny phrases when I ask you about one is you can't lie to older women because they've lied to more and we know you're wily ways. That's a funny little thing. Yes. That is the other version of that is, you know, younger girls are dumb. Yeah. That's essentially saying. And I don't know if I say in this, but I stayed on stage now when I do this bit. I'm like, and yeah, young girls are stupid. You can sleep with them sooner. You can lie to them and people don't like to say younger girls are stupid, but they are. Life experience gains intelligence. So it's not a I'm not saying like this generation stuff. I was done when I was that age, but you are stupider and men are taking advantage of girls being dumber and wily ways, yeah. I don't put up with the things that I see younger girls put up with. And I understand why men are like, well, I don't want to change and this girl's hotter than you and younger, and she's not asking me to change. So why wouldn't I be with her? And it makes me bad. That's why I want girls to like, maybe hear me say that I think they're stupid and go, well, I don't want to be dumb. Maybe I should be a little bit more demanding, 'cause you should. Don't wait till you're 35 to learn that you have boundaries. So then there's the big swing of 20 year old should not have despond the despondent glare of a depression error dust bowl widow with 7 mouths to feed. Yes. That was, I meant to say despondent stare, but then glare, I said instead, and then I go, well, I was gonna do ADR to put in stare 'cause I go, why did I say glare? But glare is kind of, it's fine. It suffices. I don't think I'd lose points on that. But yeah, we all know what picture I'm talking about there. That's what I was trying to conjure is that picture, and that's what I kind of like about it is I don't need to say, we all know exactly the face of that woman that's just been through a lot who's selling her children. Yeah. And yeah, that's kind of what I think of as an old soul. Like that woman's an old soul. And I think I did used to have the joke of unless she's Malala. I think I actually maybe had said that one point even prior to that podcast or whatever or afterwards of, yeah, she's been through she's been through war. And there are girls out there like that and they deserve love, but stop joking that your girlfriend who is not an old is not she's just because she likes The Rolling Stones. Or has heard of Nirvana and actually likes it, not just because her parents, yeah, okay, but stop trying to convince me that she's a contemporary. It's just, it's okay. It's okay that she's younger. Let's just live in the truth that she does. You mentioned other things were cut from the second half? Were there was there a longer section here about, oh my God, this fuck this was so fucking long. I cut so much stuff, the special was just so packed with tangents. It's just the way my mind is now and the way I do stand up. But I don't want to alienate any women in the crowd that might be dating older men and I never, I never wanted to be an older woman who was jealous of younger women, but and I think I even this is a pattern of mine where I make the same joke throughout my career, but in different ways. It truly is a problem for me, but it's still no one seems to notice that much. I'm sure you've made some connections, but I think now I do a joke of there are these girls in Austin when I was leaving my hotel to go to the show and they were writing their lime scooters on the sidewalk and which I know is very dangerous because my friend almost died from getting hit by one on a sidewalk and by some young kids. And these girls were coming back to beautiful flowing locks, just tan skin, sundresses, and I really was like, you can't ride on the side like I yelled at them after them. Like, it's really just protect them more than anything. And then I realized, you know what? They're gonna get drunk later and probably fall in mangle their faces. Let them go. There's a sick part of me that, and then I go into this whole thing now of I really, my favorite YouTube videos that if you went on my YouTube, the suggestions would be the beauty queen who fell in a fire and had to develop a personality. I love pretty girls aging, realizing that they're not gonna be hot forever.
Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"nikki glaser" Discussed on Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"Take the mic that I was using. He may he went to the other mic and when I tried to hug him because we're friends or I thought we were. We are now. We've made up since this, he wouldn't hug me, he just backed away like you're gross. And then I found out later, it was because he just thought I had done the easy thing of doing the grossest materials so that I was unfollow able, which I've never, ever thought about burying someone ahead of me. I just don't think that way. And I also just felt like my biggest fear is being disgusting and like having people go, you're gross. And it's funny because I talk about gross things, so why would I do that if I fear that, but it's almost like challenging then. I don't know. But he just really, he couldn't do his act. And he's like, comedians don't do that to each other. They don't get that disgusting. It's unfollow, and it's rude. And I think he was just going through something clearly. It didn't have to do with that. But I went into this defense mode of like, why do I do gross jokes? Like it is it? Easy? And I started, I never want someone to think that what I'm doing is I'm just doing it because it's easy. But the truth is, I am doing it because it's easy. I cut this out of the special, but when people go female comics just talk about sex because it's so easy. Do you want me to see something that's hard for me to talk about? Do you want to see Paul McCartney do a bad demonstration? Guitar and singing is easy for Paul McCartney's songwriting. And I'm not comparing myself to a beetle, but I'm just saying, why is there this need that everything has to be hard? And guess what? It is hard for it's not, it's not easy for everyone to talk about sex. It's easy for me because of that piece of my brain that's missing, but it's not easy for you, or else this wouldn't, so I think that I just want to call bullshit on this female comics, all they talk about is sex. Yeah, a lot of them do. It sometimes it is easy. Sometimes it is like peppering the word fucking jokes. You get more laughs. If you're more disgusting or more shocking. But for me, I know that's not why I'm doing it. And I think it's just an easy way to make us not talk about our bodies, because, you know, we all know how threatened, certain people are when we do know what's going on with our bodies and have opinions about it. It's all connected. And I don't think this person was trying to silence women, this guy that, you know, felt triggered by me being blue, but there wasn't element I felt of Nikki's only famous Nicki's only successful because she talks about sex. Guess what? It's been a huge hindrance to my career to be a sexual comedian. It's a huge hindrance to my relationships. I'm not saying that I'm a martyr. I can't do it any other way, but it is not easier being a dirty comedian. I wish the clean subject matter and being fascinated by elevators, interested me more than eating ass, but it doesn't. And so I don't want to talk about it. I have been on The Tonight Show 5 times and done 5 minute sets on each one, so I at least have 25 minutes of squeaky clean material. So I can write clean. It's just not as fun for me. And don't you want to watch your entertainers have fun? It's only easy if you can't hear what you're doing. Like it's only easy if you're like, you're talking about it for ten minutes. It's like, if you see what you're doing, it's just one joke, which is I'm a woman I have sex. Then yes, it is like an easy thing, but that's completely, it's something this person has to get past in terms of understanding that like, yes, it can be easy. Anything can be easy. But it's like mundane observations. No topic is inherently more easy or more sophisticated. It's just really the amount of thought and craft you're putting into it. Yes. And you've probably feel the same way, but there's no topic that you can't talk about in an interesting way that is off limits or like, but there's things within jokes, no matter what you're talking about, that can be the hack shit you've ever seen, but it's just like, I think that when people just dismiss you, it just, and it hurts just coming from a comedian more than anyone because you hope that the male comedians that I look up to don't dismiss me as a sex comic, but I find out some of them do. And it's because they're not listening. So in 2019, you tweeted a version of what is this joke? Yeah, so this is the question. So in November, you tweeted, guys who date women much younger than them often say, but she has an old soul. You never hear, yeah, she's 22, but she has a really old pussy. Oh, wow. So with that, you working on the joke or that was probably the first joke. That was probably it. That was probably the first time I had, I probably said it in a conversation with friends, wrote it in my phone, and then tried to make it like a one liner tweet. So yeah, November 2019, that would have been, yeah, I could see myself doing that back in November 2019, pre COVID, tweeting that. Yeah, I mean, that's a solid joke. I mean, that's exactly almost verbatim of what I say in the set that I taped in 2021, but yeah, I think that was probably the first time I don't do Twitter anymore because I can't read the replies because they're just so littered with just mean stuff, but that used to be a great way to test out nuggets of material. And I think, yeah, this was obviously something that was brewing in me for so long. And I would never have guessed it was early as an overview. I was 19. Then you even reply that tweet with a screenshot of something you read on Twitter about early childhood trauma and then it's like, you underline the old soul thing. Yes. Okay, so yeah, I connected it, which I do in the bit of, yeah, if someone has an old soul, they've been through something like, you know, you see kids that have lived through war and they're bug eyed and they're like stoic and it doesn't, there's nothing wrong with those people. You should still be able to date them, but just be aware that that's not like they're not just like a magical child, like maybe something's happening. And you shouldn't take advantage of it. I don't know.
Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"nikki glaser" Discussed on Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"My family's been making whisky since 1795. Well, when I enjoy a glass of knob creek, the first thing I do, you know, I put my nose into it and look at it. And to me, the vanilla notes kind of jump out of the glass. When white oak barrels are used to age whisking, you're gonna get vanillin, which is in wide out and that makes the vanilla flavor and smell that you pick up, come out of the wood. It's in the wood. Very distinctive and upgrade. I think it's the marrying of all of these flavors, the sweetness, and the oak Ness, that makes knob creek one of my favorites to sip and savor. It must be 21 years or older, drink responsibly, knob creek Kentucky straight bourbon whisky, 50% alcohol by volume. Copyright 2022, James B beam distilling company, clermont, Kentucky. And we're back with Nikki glaser. So you pointed out the anger in this joke, which is what I noticed. This is a different thing. This is a different way of being on stage for you. I don't remember another joke you had that had you just like, there's no clever line of it. You're just like, there's parts where you're just like, just yelling and your voice is horse. Yes. Yes. Thank you for acknowledging that. And that to me is funny. Like, I don't, I know how to write a punchline. I'm secure that I can always have that in my back pocket, but sometimes for me, emotion, unbridled emotion, is the most surprising thing I can bring out for myself or for the audience. And I think that comedy is surprise. So sometimes it's fun to see where it takes you. And I do let that out sometimes. And comedy's boring to watch when someone is just like the same level like little dips and valleys, but I want to, I want to be a little bit manic sometimes and there have been specials where I just want to be in the moment as much as I can. So I let those happen more often, but every special I'm learning, what not to do for the next one, what I want to do for, you know, it's exciting that I hopefully get to make more. I mean, on the similar but sort of the opposite, there's also a joke in here. It's the first laugh line of this joke where you go, I'm agent gracefully, but it's like whatever that means. And oh my God. That wasn't a joke I said ever said before. That truly was like, there's no joke there. And it's so amazing. Because people are so used to your ability to write jokes. You're like, oh, she's rapping up to do a big Nikki glaser punch. No, no, no, and that, Jesse, thank you so much for acknowledging. This is what I'm most insecure about about the special is that there's so many moments like that where there is no punchline. And that came out me saying, you know, Asian gracefully, and it's just like whatever. That was just an aside that I planned on taking out eventually. But then I was having my friend help me edit and he was like, it's so funny when you say, but it's just whatever. He was like, you're so right, you know what's funny about it is because it was conversational. That was the first time I had said it. So I have, I have a joke that I said for the first time ever on my special, which is usually the best time you take a joke. And there is no joke there, but there is that there is the spontaneity of it actually being one joke that you can watch on my special that I never done before, whereas every other joke I had done hundreds of times before. And even calling that a joke is quite a stretch, but there are things like that that I kept because I go, man, it sets the tone for the emotion of this. And I think I'm noticing a pattern my openers who I have watched my set to help me if they like one dumb line. I'm like, I'll keep it forever. That took was my friend Emil Joaquin being like, it's so funny when you say whatever. And so I kept it. It is. It's truly, I was shocked to see it. I love that you were shocked 'cause I love that you actually hold me to a standard of having a joke and there is no joke there. And that is my biggest fear is comics watching this, seeing that joke and going, 'cause if I saw that joke and someone special, I would go, that's the laziest shit I've ever seen. They couldn't think for 30 seconds to come up with a punchline. And the truth is, no, because that wasn't planned. And so that was, that was generally just a non sequitur thought. So I'm glad it to address it because, yeah, I'm aware that that is not a joke. I'm not trying to get that by as a joke. I am not trying to convince anyone that I'm a brilliant comedian for that kind of a side, but there's something very human and real about those sides. So the next part, you're going to talk about aging and you can say a million jokes. You can do just like a million jokes of parts of your that are aging and you decide and maybe cut out other things, but it was just the part of your eyelids being like, how did you land on that? Why is that the perfect one? That one, because that was the thing that I remember sitting in a makeup chair next to a woman who was older than me when I was young and seeing them have to lift her eyelid to do a winged eyeliner on the outside. And I remember just thinking, I don't want like I'll never gonna do that. I don't want my eye to do that. And just thinking I had maybe had some control over that in the future. There's just this idea that I can't really, I've even though it's in the special, I haven't found a way to really capture how it feels as a young woman to just really think you won't age. And I think men relate to it too, but you just really think you can opt out of these things. Which will a 100% befall you. And I remember the day that someone had to start lifting my eyelid and have to get in there. And it just reminds me, and I'm always talking about my vagina anywhere on stage. So that was the first thing it reminded me of. And that is the same kind of tissue almost that eyelid. But I really do think I might, I might have landed on the thing we should talk to a plastic surgeon, we won't, but that might be the first thing that kind of goes. Because it is a papery skin. And it's the first sign of your mid to late 30s is that eyelid starts to droop. You gotta pull it up? Yeah, I noticed one of my eyes and photographs was like, why is that eye not as open as the other eye? I was like, it's the first sign that, you know, you're gonna die someday. It's also what I like. It's a thing then we've talked about it before, which is this is the idea of sex jokes for women. It's like, if a woman talks about a vagina, it is categorized as a session stroke, where if a man talks about their penis, it's not as much. Well, it used to be. And it feels like you have pushed back upon that expectation enough. Yes. I had a bad right before this, maybe a couple months before I taped the special. I was doing a jokes about anal sex on stage and a comedian went after me. And I killed. I jumped on this show, I wasn't supposed to be on and I was in LA and it wasn't this person's show. He was just another comic on the show, but I ran in, did a set, got off stage, and I had a really strong set. And he goes on stage after me and he just can't stop talking about how disgusting I am. And how he's so shocked, he's like, apologizing to them for how gross I was.
Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"nikki glaser" Discussed on Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"You will bring up pedophiles. And I just one more caveat. It is so weird. I'm now being very open about my fascination and obsession with pedophiles and pedophilia. I wasn't molested or that I can remember, but I, and people think it's kind of weird, but it's only weird because it's such a taboo thing that no one talks about, and it's so shamed about. But it's no weirder than women listening to podcasts about murder. I mean, it's just being fascinated by something so morbidly disgusting and heinous. So that is my fascination. I don't know why, but it just because it's dude it's crazy. It's fucking crazy. It's way worse than anyone thinks. Knowing this, and knowing this is joke, there's just banging. It is not like it's not explicitly like, we're gonna be talking about me too, and we're gonna be saying like, this is what sexual assault is, and this was not, but it's like a special bout consent. And all types. And I think a lot of your comedy talks about things that are consent to and how we talk about it. And not just like one idea what consent is. And I think there's a story you told and I can't remember where. I think it was on when you're on Bob Saget's podcast. A few years ago, you tell a story about your parents taking photograph view kissing a boy. When you're a two, and I was thinking about how it seemed like a young age, and in general, people were aware of how they sexualized kids. Regardless of pedophilia, and I think it's sort of like created an awareness, if you were like, I think a lot of comedians are observers, and it made it to be a thing that you observe. So it's not even like, oh, you had to experience it to talk about it. It's a thing that you've been observing. And as a result, it's like a thing you continue to be fascinated by, 'cause no one talks about it. Yeah. I think you're right. There is a part of me that thinks because I know so much about how people create child sex images and how they molest children. It's different than just your uncle climbing into bed with you or a babysitter fondling you. It can happen so quickly. It can happen like I don't mean to be gross anyone, but a person can do it in front of you holding your baby by just moving their hand in a certain way through their diaper. And there could be a violation of your child that you wouldn't even know is happening. And that child will have this trauma that they won't remember because they're a baby. So I'm not ruling out that something like that may have happened to me, but there's something I was out of an awareness of sexuality. If I was ever sexualized at any age or if there was that it was, I wasn't safe. There was something about it that made me uneasy and I like we established at the beginning and I'm kind of making a breakthrough now is that I run to things that are not safe, which was the name of my family central show. Despite the fact that I tried to fight that name because it sounded so I'm not safe. It was supposed to be NSFW, but they were like, no one knows what that means. So instead it was, I'm not safe with Nikki. If you dare watch my show, it just made me cringe. But yeah, there is something about I did have that awareness early on. I do think that I am sensitive to things that are scary. I mean, my first word was dangerous as a child besides, it was mom, dad, and then dangerous. And then I would just point at things that were dangerous. So I have a lot of fierce. The, as we get into it, I guess one other question which you kind of mentioned, which is like, how do you navigate or balance your desire to talk about a subject because you believe it's beneficial and the awareness that there will be some people who just won't want to hear about it because it's triggering, but not because you're not a comedian who's like triggered much. It's more like in terms of like, it's hard to hear, but you feel like it is useful. How do you balance those desires? It doesn't seem like you have any desire to hurt anyone's feelings. No, I don't. I actually do a speech before my show now after, you know, in light of the Chris Rock stuff, I think at first, Will Smith Chris Rock thing happened. It was like, oh, if you're going on stage in the next two weeks, you've got to say something to reference it. And I was getting asked a lot about it in interviews, and I so I just started as a joke to reference it saying like, hey, if you're offended by anything, I say tonight, instead of assaulting me, honestly, go home. You can leave peacefully. I won't be like, what are you getting up for, ma'am? You can leave, write me a DM on Instagram. I swear to God, I'll see it. And if I don't see it write me again, tell me what I said that I got wrong that made you feel the need to leave. I will Venmo you your money back, full even like the fucking service fees that I don't even make anything off of.
Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"nikki glaser" Discussed on Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"Gets hard, but marriage is hard. It's like, no, it's hard 'cause you wanna fuck other people. And I don't know, this is kind of getting off on another tangent, maybe it's my next special, but when people think that if you fall in love with someone, you never have eyes for someone else and your husband will never be aroused by looking at another woman. You should hope so, because it means his body is not functioning. Like, do you want your husband to not be a functioning human? So I think that these are all things that we don't talk about and like, oh, he would never be and a lot of don't ask don't tell. Yeah, I know he's a chart to other women. I don't want to know about it. It's like, I want to know about it. I want to talk about these things. And there's a whole chunk that I had to cut for this special about molestation that is going to be my next special. And I've realized, thank God I didn't put in this one because I didn't make it palatable enough. My boyfriend at the time was like, I just don't think this is there. You haven't gotten the audience to get on board with this. Because I haven't been molested, so it's not like this thing I can deliver with this personal anecdotal evidence, but I have a lot to say about it. And then I realized recently, the reason I can talk about it and I should talk about it is because I haven't been molested. I'm not triggered by it. It's something I can look into and read about the facts and learn about it and see how to prevent it and this information in a way that isn't cruel to the victim so that maybe they can feel empowered. So it is my job to I believe to go to areas that as a kind of borderline sociopath in terms of just being, I don't know, I stayed in the special, but the part of my brain that says don't talk about eating ass in front of your dad doesn't exist for me. And it never has, it never will. It's, you know, when I watch love on the spectrum and hearing those autistic adults learn how to read people's emotions by their facial expression, that's a thing that I had to learn in my life of saying inappropriate things saying the truth, I just thought because it's the truth, it would be fine. And it's a fact, but it's not fine, and people have foundries and I just don't have those, but now I look at it as this superpower I have to, I have to manage in public and kind of be more aware of. It's funny you mentioned the molestation thing because when I heard when you picked the joke we're about to talk about, but I had not watched especially yet and I asked the colleague who did. Oh yeah, I dabble in. And I was like, is there like, I just saw the term old school old souls. I was like, is this about molestation? And I had no nothing about it. I was just sort of like I knew Nikki glaser was super into that like learning about pedophiles and molestation and I could see you just seeing the word old souls. I'm like, and Nikki glaser was like, and it goes. It is related to it because if you look into it, I mean, I end up going like what's going on here, but I do believe society is like, I believe that, I don't know, I got in trouble my boyfriend brought me to these seats that his mom got his mom got at the Cardinals game recently. I live in St. Louis and there are these nice seats that are like her clients lent her. And I was just on some tirade about the world is run by pedophiles. And it's just true. That's what men want to fuck children and I was just and he was just like, hey, can you just not do? And I was like, you're not going to silence me. This is the truth because I was, it was just some day where politically it was a nightmare. So like any other day. And I remember him just being like, but I get it, and we can talk about this later. This is not people don't want to hear about this. And that is a thing that happens to me all the time. And I had to, I had to kind of ease off of the molestation stuff even for this joke that has some of it in it. But I'm finding what a challenge it is to be able to talk about molestation, talk about the things I learn about it that are insane. It's so much worse than we all think and it's so much more insidious and I think I'm going to do a lot of good with the jokes that come out of it because I am able because I don't have kids so I'm not like ugh earmuffs don't want to hear how gross it is and how easy it is for someone to pray on your child. A lot of parents don't want to expose themselves to that information because it's horrifying. It's like factory farm footage for me. But because I don't have kids, I can watch it. And I can tell my sister, yeah, don't let anyone near your kids that you haven't been a kid in front of. That's the rule. That's the only way to know that someone's not going to molest your child. And also no men. Sorry, no more male babysitters. Done. I know, I know. People get shocked when I say that do not allow a male to babysit your child. I don't care who it is. Unless you have been a child around the kid or you know children that have grown up and gone on to have normal balanced lives when they were a kid around that kid, no, no, no. You don't do it. And people go, well, not all male babies sitters are pedophiles. Of course they're not, but mainly men, molest, and so you just why risk it. And also, I know if I was a pedophile, what field of expertise I would kind of slink towards. And so I don't know, if you like kids, you don't get the babies. I'm sorry, and I know that ruins it for a lot of guys that are just like, but I'd be a great nanny. Well, you just, I don't know, go join The Wiggles or something. Be on stage, performing for kids, but you have to stay away from them. We can't trust you. Yes, all men. I have not determined what my opinion on this one subject is. But no, you do not need to coastline on any of that. So, but I will say what I think and I think it captures
Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"nikki glaser" Discussed on Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"Was pretty prophetic to. I mean, it's not like I'm some kind of soothsayer that I knew they were going to overturn roe V wade. And that we're going to have a pandemic and all this stuff. But the stuff I was talking about in there about the apocalypse. That was all stuff I was doing before the pandemic and then the world shut of just like not wanting to have kids because I'm worried that I won't be able to plug in their iPads during the apocalypse so that I don't have to talk to them. Like that kind of thing of not wanting to have kids. Not because, oh, they won't be able to live. It's just like, no, it's just going to be so much more of a burden. That was something I was working on before the pandemic that I loved seeing it come to fruition. I hated it for parents, but a lot of parents being like, homeschooling my kids is not what I signed up for. And it's like, yeah, you signed up to be a parent in the modern age where the industrial complex was still in place as we know it. But when that falls, you got to be around your channel a lot. And I think that, I don't know, stuff like that. I'm off on 18 tangents, but back to you. I haven't even asked a question. I know the bit. I've totally ruined your format. It's time. It's fine. This is good. 'cause I think it captures where you're at at the beginning. We're going to see at the end if you're more comfortable with this conversation. But also to tie it in, I think what especially with this joke, this joke is in the section about reading the book getting to I do. And essentially it's a center about how it's talking to your audience about how if they wanted to find a husband, whether they need to do. And I was thinking about your comedy and I was watching banging before watching this. And it's like, begging, though it's not like you're like, this is a special about me too, but it was a special ridden in that time. So it has that energy about like, there's like consent Ness, too, without being like, these people, and this special feels like they'll there are parts directly about quarantine. Especially this marriage stuff, I was thinking about it as a reflection of the loneliness of quarantine and how so many people are coming out of it with that sort of feeling of having spent it so alone. Do you feel like, I mean, maybe it is explicit, but do you feel like you're ultimately these are just things that you're doing your job, but because you're talking to the audience, you're feeling the things of where they're at. I think that I really appreciate your analysis of this because you're right. I think what spurred me even reading the book getting to I do, which is, you know, these books that, you know, it's kind of like the rules. It's like these books that women in their mid 30s finally give up and go, okay, maybe I'll read a book to try to see what this is all about because this isn't working. And it turns out the book actually has a lot of merit to it, a lot of science behind it. And it was me, it was me realizing I lived with my parents during the pandemic, and I did that because I didn't want to be alone. I saw stand up going away. I saw my busy life just evaporating. And that was kind of keeping me from looking at the fact that I was extremely lonely and that I am scared of the apocalypse because I don't have anyone to live with. And my parents are aging. And so having my parents be as old as they are and living with them, I know that that's not going to be an option for the next one of these. So I definitely was feeling like that's why I need to talk about finding a person. And I think that we all are so fucking lonely. Even in relationships and I really do try to talk about things that will make people feel less alone, which is always kind of, I know that everyone always goes, isn't funny the first goal, and I'm like, actually not really. I mean, funny will come. I know that as a comedian, I'm supposed to always be like, it should be funny. Well, then I'm not a comedian, okay? Maybe I'm not. Because I do think that I can do more good being less of a clown and more of someone who makes light of things that everyone thinks they only go through alone. So that's always my goal. And I think that whatever I'm talking about in this special, it's talking to my younger self or young people dealing with fears about sex and intimacy and then also people like myself who are lonely but also terrified of being with someone and finding themselves at this stage in life where this seems like there must be something wrong here with there must be something wrong with me that I don't have this. Like I have everything else in my life and I think I just feel alone sometimes as I'm definitely getting more and more alone every year as my friends get married, have kids. I'm 38 now and they were all supposed to be getting divorces by now. Where's that? That's what you always hear about. Okay, then the first round of divorces then you get your friends back. I'm not getting any friends back, you know? If anything, I keep making younger friends and then they get married. So I'm just, and I don't mind being a single person. I don't have shame about it, but I do have loneliness. I do have a resentment that I don't have someone to live with during the apocalypse if that happens. You know, as we talked about, your work is often been about finding things people are afraid to talk about and talking about it. And for so long, marriage is like the opposite of a taboo in some ways, but do you feel like in 2022, especially from your perspective, it is a thing that is hard to talk about, or I think marriage is hard to talk about because people, what I want to talk about with marriage, really, because this book, the book getting to I do, it's about getting a commitment from a man, whether that be a boyfriend, marriage, an E reality show, whatever you want to get from a man, you can get them to commit to giving you it. If you follow these rules and it's not like I like to call it things that no one's talking about this, you need to know the truth. I get angry when I talk about sex. I really do think I talk about sex so much because when I was a kid, I just felt so deceived that there was this thing that everyone does and that motivates every single action as a human being, but that we act like it didn't happen. And it's how I'm here and it's how that person's here and it's why my parents are buried sex is this thing that permeates our entire being yet no one talks about it and it made me feel stupid and it made me feel like hoodwinked and I think that's what for me marriage, the truth about marriage that I know from having friends and from just reading enough about it is that it's very lonely and it's a thing that a lot of people feel stuck in and a lot of people do as because it's just the next thing to do. And then the next thing to do is have kids. And the next thing to do is have another kid. And then the next thing to do is get divorced. And then start over again. And I used to have that opinion about marriage. I used to be like, I'm never going to get married. It's stupid. It's just a construct. It's just pressure from now I understand that monogamy and marriage benefits your life in the modern society that we have now in a capitalist modern property owning society. It is a beneficial thing to enter into. An emotionally we've even adapted to need this lifelong partnerships. It is something that we as humans need, but I don't like to disregard the thing that I talk about in my special, it's like this brain we have that is thousands based on our wanting to survive thousands of years ago in tribes where there was no monogamy and we wanted to fuck everything. So I think I don't like talking about marriage like you'll never like anyone else and it's easy and you feel deep connection.
Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"nikki glaser" Discussed on Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"And that's enough for me. Like you said, that's enough. There's things like that. What did I make a reference to this weekend that no one fucking got? I mean, three people, but if those three people, how good it must feel to get such a specific reference for those three people is worth it. And then of course I say the caveat of that's for three people. So the people that feel left out understand that I meant to not make them laugh. That was on purpose. But yeah, I just know that I would be a better comedian and reach my full potential as a comic force. If I listen to my sets, which are all on my phone, I have thousands and thousands of hours not an exaggeration on various phones. Never listen to any of it. If I listen to my sets, if I even the farthest I'll go, Jesse, in terms of reviewing my material or trying to remember things I do on stage because I do a lot of writing on stage. Is that I will tell the audience will someone tweet that at me or will someone tweet me these three words so I'll remember it. Or I'll say to my openers who are watching or sleeping. Someone wake Andrew up and write down snowflake horse or whatever those words that will remind me of that thing that I just said. And I just, I think that people can relate to this of having just seeing how you could be better and it's these simple things that for some reason I have this block and that's why I'm reading all these books right now to conquer this fear I have and there was this one book that I was just reminded of by the same author it's called the tools and my friend Ari Finley and he's a comedian recommended it to me of like it helps you so much break through these mental barriers. And so I picked it up because I was trying to edit my Netflix special a million years ago and I was I don't like miss deadlines and if I do, it's a deadline I know I can miss, but I was missing deadlines that I could not miss between you and me and everyone listening. The special we're about to talk about was supposed to come out in March. And it's coming out in July. Why? Because they thought it'd be a better time to drop around FYI island season two, which also premieres two days before this on HBO Max? No, because I couldn't edit it in time. And I wasn't because I was avoiding it. I was procrastinating. Yeah. And so this one book, though, that I read that helped me through the Netflix one back in the day was you say to yourself over and over, it's called the tools and it's by a guide with less shorts. And now I'm reading his new book called coming alive, which is also about just identifying these mental blocks and what I said to myself over pride weekend in New York, what I was supposed to be editing my special I went for a walk to just get out of the house and clear my head and like, okay, when I get back, I'm doing it all. And then I had read this book that said, just say over and over, I love fear, fear sets me free. Bring it on, fear. And so I said that over and over. And so it makes you convince yourself that you love the things you fear, which I do love. I know that's the thing that I feel like, that's the Nikki glaser thing, is that she loves the things that she fears. I know, so why can't I just work that to get these specials at it sooner? And to not watch myself and because every time I do, I don't end up hating it, it's not as bad as I think it's gonna be. So that's the special we're about to talk about. I have to say, I want to be completely honest because I know a lot of comedians listen to this an artist and even fans of mine and I want people to watch the special, but I really felt like which I do with everything, but this one especially like, man, I could have done better. The timing of the special when I shot it, I was doing my reality show. It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I had just wrapped on my reality show day before Thanksgiving. I had was on tour on the weekend and then during the weeks when I would usually be just podcasting and chilling. I was like, you know, going canoeing with my dad and rollerblading with my date, and so I just didn't have the time. There's always excuses, but I just felt like after I taped it, I go, man, that could have been better. And then of course, by the time I'm reviewing the footage, it's now a month after the holidays. And I've been doing gigs and all of those jokes are now better than they were when I shot it. And so I'm like, oh, I don't even want to look at this. And it was painstaking. And by the time that I turned it in, I remember my boyfriend and I, my boyfriend is a TV producer and has helped with producing every special of mine. Just out of the kindness of his heart. And he was very instrumental in putting this together and we were watching one of the final edits. And I think we both had seen it so much at the end of it, I just go. I mean, I don't know. What do you think? And he's like, it's not your best. We both were like, and I go, that doesn't even hurt my feelings. You're right. This isn't based on what you see that I'm capable of. This isn't the greatest, but then I don't know. I think we both had just seen it too much because I really felt okay with it and I felt like we were clear headed in that assessment. But then I started showing it to people and people are like, I loved it. And HBO really liked it. And I was like, okay, maybe I'm wrong. And then I watched it four months later or whatever. Finally, when the coloring I had to watch one last time, I'm like, I thought this was over. So I do one last pass on it. And I wrote to my boyfriend, I go, don't ever let me ever say this isn't good again. I am so proud of this. I can't wait for people to see this. Yes, some of these jokes are much better and I've delivered them better even in the state they were in during the special. It could have been better. Sure, there's things I can learn. But I'm allowed to put out something that isn't perfection. In fact, it's part of watching George Carlin's special that apatow did. I'm like, I'm allowed to have dips. And by the way, this isn't a dip. But I do want to allow myself that if it was mediocre, I could say that and it's still worthy because to have the highs, you gotta have the lows, but this I look back on and I'm like, I learned a lot from it. I think it is the next step in what I'm doing, which is just being more conversational and being more leaning into the fact that, yeah, I talk about sex. I'm not trying to make it my thing anymore. It is just who I am and just being more honest and yeah, it's just, it feels authentic to what I was going through in November and it also it
Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"nikki glaser" Discussed on Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"Than an older woman would, because we've been lied to more and we know you're wily ways. She doesn't want to have kids yet, so you can take your time. There's a million reasons to do it. It's okay. You don't have to lie and say they have old songs. They don't have all. A few of them do. I know a couple that actually do have old souls because something traumatic happened to them. And they need to go heal from it. They don't need to be humped by you and your old body. They need to go talk to a woman in an office about why they're attracted to men that look like they're hung up. That's what they need to do. Leave them alone. 20 year olds should not have the despondent glare of a depression era, dust bowl, widow with 7 mouths to feed. Leave her alone. Let her go heal. That's weird. I am here with Nikki glaser. Thank you for joining me. Thank you for having me back. I'm honored. I'm so excited. I wanted to, 'cause I was like, we talked about roast, but like we've talked so little about your actual material. That was like, the people must know. They must know, must they know? Because we'll see. I get very nervous talking about stand up. For some reason, roast jokes, yeah, let's talk about it. I feel like removed from it, stand up. I'm just a much more insecure about my stand up than I should be, probably, because it's the one thing I've been doing the longest. I have confidence in literally everything else I do. As a TV host or even playing music, I just know where I stand, I don't think that I need to be better than I am, but with stand up, there's always maybe because it is the thing that I've done forever. I feel massive anxiety talking about it today with you, even editing my special is one of the most torturous things I've ever been through every single special I've ever had at part in editing is just, it's the worst. Yeah, I wanted to bring that up out of the gate because I didn't want to pretend like this is enjoyable for me. But I think it's going to be because I need to get over this fear. I don't even post clips on Instagram of stand up. And I've done three hour specials to have three hours. Two for Netflix one for Comedy Central. A numerous late night appearances. I have so much stand up out there that I could oh man, I could rule TikTok, but I can not look at myself. I can't watch it. And it's so weird that I expect people to pay to go see me. But I think that's why I like stand up is because when it first was available to me, it wasn't something that I had to watch tapes of. You know, this was 2003. So if you got a tape, you had to go to your way to get one. Now you just get them as soon as you leave the club, someone AirDrops it to you, and you're like, I don't want to see this. That was meant to, that was meant to be a thing that was a live experience. Yeah, yeah. That I don't have to analyze. I didn't really have to, I think that's what I like about it is that I can just, you know, leave it behind and no one can call me on like, well, that wasn't that funny. And I'm like, but how do you even remember it? Maybe you're remembering it wrong. Even for myself. I think you shouldn't be nervous. Well, I think it's fine if you're nervous because that's one knowing sort of how you work your career, like things that you're nervous about, you embark upon them. Sprint into? Yes. So that is sort of what I'm happy to guide you through this journey, but I think. Do you have that with this podcast? Do you listen back? The only time I listen back is if I am having people return on the show. So oh. So it's very good. Good for you for doing that. That's responsible, good journalist. This stuff works, by the way, to review the things you do and to watch them and to go back and go, oh, I liked that. I didn't like that. This is all part of the art, the creative process that I completely think that I can get away with, avoiding. And it's ridiculous. I have to do it. Everyone's process is their process. I mean, like, you know, if you hated listening back and then you were like the only way to do this is if I listen back, then you would not do it anymore. So you have to figure out whatever system it is to work. I like, yeah. Because it is possible, it will be, no matter what, you'll be different. Now different is either better or worse, depending on the eye of the beholder, right? But you have to live your life and the audience seems to be okay with it. So it's like, because just 'cause funny, you know, orders of magnitude doesn't really matter. Like you're funny to already this many people. So but Jesse, I think there are people that are very well known for being funny and they're not. And they don't like them. And it makes me think of my own insecurities. Like I hate what I am. So when I see comedians do things and get away with stuff that I'm like, well, I don't do that. I don't do that easy thing that would make everyone like me overnight. Is that me being like, I'm better than that and I don't do it. Or is that me being like, well, I just I really probably couldn't do that. I'm convincing myself I don't want to. I think it's a bit of a fear. I think it's a bit of both, but I think it's also like, you know, all art is a series of value systems and you have a sense of what you find fun. All communities need to have some internal barometer of what they find funny and what they don't. And then the audience is telling you that and you can decide if the audience is reaction is enough, right? Like you can do a joke that only one person likes in the audience and be like, that joke is enough for one. Right? There's a joke on this special where I'm like, I'm pretty sure the only person who liked that joke in the moment is yourself, which is how now brown towel. You're so right. That was a joke. I'm talking about the bit is about anal sex and I'm listing all these things that you should do to make sure you have the best experience. And I say, did you put down a brown towel? How now brown towel? And I don't even know, I don't even know if how now brown cow, which is what that comes from is a thing that is a thing that I don't even know what that is. It just is in my head and it rhymed with how now brown towel, and it made my opener my opener and my podcast co host, Andrew Kahn. It made him laugh. And after I said he was like, do you see how now brown towel? I was like, I did. I was like, did you like that? He was like, I loved it.
Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"nikki glaser" Discussed on Good One: A Podcast About Jokes
"Nick was first on the podcast in 2018, talking about writing roast jokes. It was one of my favorite early episodes. She is so good. And so smart about how she thinks about roast jokes. In it, she discussed assembly essentially a writer's room of whoever she can find to help pitch or write jokes that she can either use herself or build off from. I was so curious about this that when the next roast came around, I asked to be added to her email list of submitters and she said yes because she'll literally take anyone and to my surprise she actually ended up using a couple. None of them made it to the final broadcast, but it was a fascinating process to see how she worked. But ever since, I've always wanted to have her back on to talk about her actual material, which has grown increasingly complicated, idiosyncratic, sprawling, and filthy with each special. For a brief moment, I thought I actually might never be able to. See, 6 months into the pandemic, she appeared on our quarantine check in episode from her new home of St. Louis, where she was considering quitting stand up or at least quitting how she pursued it. Considering her new hour special good clean fun, premieres on HBO and HBO Max this week, clearly and thankfully she didn't. Before I start just a warning, we discussed some very sensitive subjects like molestation and pedophilia in our conversation. So I just wanted to give you a heads up. So here is Nikki glaser. That's why I'm trying to stay young. I'm aging, though. I'm aging gracefully, but it's like, whatever. That means. And I just want to let you girls in your 20s know you're going to age, too. And I know there's a secret part of you that's like, I don't want to. I don't feel like it. Because I used to be in my 20s and look at women with their skin slightly like succumbing to gravity. Their eyelids turning into vaginal lips. I used to see that. I have it now when people put on my eye makeup when I do it, I have to list my eyelid like I'm
Netflix is A Daily Joke
"nikki glaser" Discussed on Netflix is A Daily Joke
"I wanna boyfriend and another ladies. Listen up second rule is looks talkable all the time. All the time looks actually make all the time now. And i know there's like oh no nikki. You're beautiful and it's like i know. I know i am a beautiful man without makeup. I look like a yoga instructor named jesper. That's kind of risks joying out without makeup. Are you joking me. i'm single. That's the thing. I whenever i hear up in a bun a first of all. It's a man by now like a stolen the most fun easy style from us where my hair in a bun the only save star for a woman. Now when you wear. Your hair is a high ponytail. Don't you dare from. I'm serious safe anymore. Keep the hype loans. If i wear low bone and never been safe makeup. I look like beethoven for century. I swear you all the time. If you're single. Do not leave the house without makeup. I always. I'm just like oh my goodness someone loves her. What does that. It's not to say this. It isn't but it's like do you expect to find your. What is your in line at the drugstore and your soulmate is in line next. You the guy that you're meant to be with and you don't have makeup on. You don't have a hot outfit on. How is he supposed to know every best trait that you have or your looks because i know you have a lot of times. I the giselle bunch of personalities. But it doesn't mean shit unless i draw cheryl's on my face to make it look like a bull sharks. I do not have to look at me with my man's face in my hair up in a bond and just know that i'm loyal. I'm funny. I do an all like all with ever without making if i ever do. You wanna let your skin breathe. I always have to wear my. I do anal shirt and that's catches the eye but it's always in the wash you know because catch nikki. Glaser in the degenerates only on netflix eggs..
Netflix is A Daily Joke
I Was an Ugly Child
"Crave compliments. Love them so much. I was an ugly child. So i like i saw that people get them and i was like fun experience you know. I was diagnosed as ugly child at the age of eleven by caricature artist at six flags. And i didn't know until i really did it. You know and then he turned that canvas around. My dad was like great. Oh my god it's uncanny. My whole family is like what neck like really okay. I didn't know. I had bucked teeth and bushy eyebrows. A founding father haircut tiny bicycle. But then i know i know listen. I kind of had an idea that i wasn't that cute. You know because. I had a really beautiful sister. Growing up never went through an awkward phase. She would just so stunning she literally would stop traffic when i pushed her in front of it and tried to get her out of the way and i'm the second prettiest sister and then there isn't another one but got that but people would stop my mom as a child and tell my mom that my sister should be a model like right in front of me and be like this child needs to be a model and they wouldn't see me at first in the night emerged from behind my mom's legs like no s- fraud. What should i be desperate to be discovered or whatever and they're like you should be a. You're going to be a model train enthusiast probably. I think you should start collecting soon. 'cause you're gross and cool whenever i see two kids one's cuter than the other. I always tell them on. Your kids are cute. I make an emphasis on kids. Then i wink. She knows she'll now and you can get away with pretty obvious wing because usually ugly one has a lazy eye situation so they'll miss it entirely so you can be but just don't single out. One child is cuter than the other. Because we don't need more female comics. I can't take the competition. And that's that's how you make
Real Time with Bill Maher
"nikki glaser" Discussed on Real Time with Bill Maher
"Go through as you go through charging documents if you go through. Somebody's charging documents. I live in. dc. And i was there in january six and it was very weird very strange but you see people who were like taking a selfie after like breaking known the capital. And then they're like how could you possibly know it was me. Black guy also bragged about it on a dating site. Yes a dealing with the most supreme white people here dangerous offer together. It's true and that's obvious. And that's the challenge here. Is that like. We know that this can go terribly wrong. And we've seen it happen before we sought with oklahoma city. Which before then you saw that with ridge and waco and a host of other events and the concern here is that how the fbi how'd security agencies do basically everything which is to spend a lot of money overemphasize invasions of privacy and bumble. Along is going to get us into a disaster. So let me ask about the other crime issue which street crime which is going on in a very big way right now. Forty-nine percent of the people say it's a very big problem at homicides largest single year increase since nineteen sixty and the new york mayor race which the primary is tuesday or wednesday is going to be the mayor of new york. That is the big issue and the leading candidate. This is fairly new. Eric adams I'm just learning about him. After an american ex cop ex republican and i love this strapped all the time. This guy goes to church with a guy and he's got the issue crime you know. It may be big blue new york. But they're worried about it and he is the one who was when they were all zigging he was egging. He's like defunding the police no and he's ready. He talks about how opposition to funding the police. Opposition to it wins across everything race ideology age so my question is the democrats who are pandering to that. Who is it four or are you getting. Its for fifteen percent of the party. Who are the over educated over caffeinated over opinionated liberals on twitter. I guess we gotta have them. I check did with the pollsters democratic. Pollsters garin hart yang. They say in democratic dominated city's crime has no passed education and how housing affordability is a number one issue. So smart democrats are listening to that valdez. A former police chief is a congresswoman from florida. she's announced she's running for senate in her announcement. She talks about having been a police chief. You're seeing that more and more around the country here in la job. Kayano is a former cop running for mayor. I don't know how he's going to do but more more. You're seeing that democrats have got to get on offense on this. Because it's real you know a jeff bezos is not going to get mud. It's the people who are in my party who suffer. The most crime goes right. But i think that that's something in some ways you heard from people at what you've heard from. I would say class. African american communities for years is that you have simultaneous policing under policing if you look at say homicide clearance rates and a lot of major cities honolulu. There's a twenty five percent homicide clearance rate that means in one out of four cases. A case is closed. that doesn't necessarily mean solve. It just means closed like what exactly are homicide police in honolulu. Doing who knows who could say. But i think that that's the thing here. Is that when you heard what i heard people talking about. Defunding the police. I heard it in the way of like. Wow this restaurant sucks. We do not want this restaurant. Keep being like this restaurant anymore. Right and so report choice of words. There's also a sense that there's also a sense that like look among the people who is doing the biggest defunding of police in twenty nine hundred and twenty twenty with donald trump by trying to pull money from so-called sanctuary cities and so. I think that there's a real issue. I think that eric adams and i think there are a lot of people in the left. Who are less of him. That are really concerned about this. But if you can thread the needle. When i call the police someone should come and the police should not sit outside my apartment waiting for something to happen so that they can bust me on something and then know that they can violate my rights and received qualified immunity in court because the supreme court made it up. I think that's a needle that people are going to be into yes. They are.
Geeks Under the Influence
TV & Movie Recap: Week of September 30th
"Are going to have makes is supposedly amazing this film I will be checking out this weekend for TV pages on Monday. CW has the finale a of Penn and teller fool us for Tuesday cw has the finale of Pandora paramount network has ink master grudge match premier and travel network has most terrifying places premier for Wednesday CBS has the premiere of seal team. and Swat Fox has the premiere of almost family CW has the I heart music festival night one and t and t has the premiere of all elite wrestling dynamite for Thursday cw has the I heart music festival night two on Friday NBC has the premiere of the blacklist and history channel has the reboot of the series in search of verse Saturday. HBO Has the Premiere of cold suit and on Sunday CBS as the premiere of Madam Secretary ABC has the premiere of kids say the darndest things see He w has the premiere of Bat woman and supergirl ABC has the premiere of Mister Robot AMC has the walking dead and talking dead and travel network has the witches of Salem for box office result in fifth place you have Ed Astra fourth-place it chapter two third-place Hustlers second-place Downton Abbey and in first place making twenty point eight million dollars is this abominable for movies coming out this week the only thing that's coming out in wide release is joker but for DVD's you have spiderman and far from home maiden and the apocalypse and framing John delorean for on Line Services Net flicks you have uh-huh Gillian momentum you've Nikki glaser living undocumented in the tall grass raising dion season one and Roy gotten season two who has light as a feather season two and prime has goliath season three for video games you have destiny a to shadow keep and Tom Clancy Ghost recon break point for Gui News you have Mondays Trivia at fallen up directly after Trivia stick around for Karaoke with Carla Trivia is from eight to ten Karaoke goes from ten until close new episodes geeks under the influence blue's clues smack my pitch up keith father and for the mouths of madness and beautiful disasters make sure that you come out on Tober thirteenth for the Darker Room in the Hof Heimer building located in Scott's addition for G. pod Wayne featuring live recordings of booze clues and smack my pitch up clues will be an all Florida man edition because nothing says horror like Fordham with our investigators dressed up as Florida man this is not dimissed doors open at six show starts at seven twenty one up only ended is free for one more thing if you like blooding gorgeous stories view I mean the fake stuff that you get inundated with all month long no I am referring to the real deal actress and star of the new C. he w show bat woman Ruby Rose had emergency surgery on her neck and upper back being that the star that she is in Hollywood she posted the video on Instagram Ram the surgery was for two herniated discs She received while doing a stunt for her show it was emergency procedure because there was a chance they would continue to herniated and risk per becoming paralysed obviously the surgery went well and she has a show a small scar on the back of her neck she's been quoted making jokes about a Pez dispenser If you want to see the video I'm not really sure why you would you can find it online
Morning Show with Sean and Frank
Eminem Takes Aim at Machine Gun Kelly With ''Killshot'' Diss Track
"Goes by Hennessy. By name is Gucci. Greg. The and Bacardi Zima p. If I were to drink. That's a week alcohol last name. I think the everyone and everything is super annoyed. No, but Cardi B Bacardi. I know what were you g? Z Z day ago. Ema Z eczema. I don't to be that. All right. I mentally checked out of this conversation, happier
Steve Cochran
Neil Diamond Thanks Colorado Firefighters With Private Concert
"Conversation so, I there weren't enough Bartelson James jokes like he was disposed person for. The wine coolers back in the day I was assuming I was assuming they'd comes straight out with that right at the beginning. It was funny It is funny the comedy central roast the only problem I have is that, they'll they'll, diversify the day to to get as many different types, of people up there actors others and they had Dresen Joseph Gordon Levitt the MC I it's getting. To a point where you could tell all. Of their stuff is written by somebody else I think, that's why I like Nikki Glaser it always feels even if somebody else wrote her. Material she owns it and she makes it personal and you think it's, from her voice a lot of the times you get up there like Joseph Gordon Levitt you could tell he just reading something that. Some writers, wrote him about Bruce well did do a, movie with movie, loopers with, them and I I. Got the sense? That they were friends but you know for example Chicago comedian Lil rel. How was there And except for watching Bruce Willis movies, admitted on the day that he has zero connection to this whole thing human there were some people up there it's like why even. Their comedy, central star Edward Norton was on the desk, and he was, kind of, funny but like why. Is it north It didn't it didn't make any sense but, it was funny and like I said the clips are all on one gene naughty though we have a text question going today about celebrity crushes that you may. Have. Met and then you had a. Different impression after and just just I want to go on record Bruce Willis and Edward Norton both celebrity crushes. Wine that, did you meet them No not yet so they're just. Still really held high in my in my mind let me tell you having met, and interviewed both of them several times you're Bruce Willis crush would still be intact he is what you see is what, he is the Edward Norton one not so much Bruce Willis is my wife said last. Night to the reason he's he's continued to be a star. Is he's hot he's. High I don't see it, by I don't. See I don't see hotness the ball yeah but continues to be a sex symbol all, right, real quick. Neil diamond puts on a mini concert for firefighter years apparently been. In a raging fires in the where he lives I did not know. He lived in Colorado area but he does. And even though he went into retirement in January. Because he's been diagnosed, with Parkinson's disease Went to the, fire station and performed a. Mini concert for seventy people to say thank you to these firefighters for saving their community that's great basically a Neil. Diamond he. Looked great he sounded great. Bob Odenkirk shows. Up as better call Saul tattoo. I, saw the picture this great e they. Were meeting. With television. Critics the stars over the weekend and he was talking. About the new season of better call Saul and he wanted. To show the logo. Where people would remember it, and is a. Fake tattoo I think they'd looks like your fake deck too but it's on his buttocks Okay Pull his pants. Down His pants down to show offers better, call Saul buttocks tattoo which is probably a. Good time to announce I don't know if Steve mentioned it, to all of you but when, Steve is back tomorrow all of us are going to be required, to guess Steve Cochran tattoos on our buttocks are buttocks are lower hips have it's not as head because that takes up a lot of real estate would, be one. Full cheek at least and finally on a much more, serious note news. Today less moon Vesa the story that came out running pharaoh story about sexual misconduct allegations CBS is. Dealing with this today how about this Ronan Farrow by the way because he's the one that broke, the Harvey Weinstein story And now. He breaks this other story about the the CEO of, CBS. Les, Moonves about sexual allegation charges that have been leveled against him CBS. Today is forming a committee to decide. What they're going to do they. Have hired an independent law firm that will be conducting the investigation about, this and they're going to decide whether or. Not he should step aside while this investigation goes forward but, has acknowledged in a statement that, he made advances toward women decades ago but he said. That he, always understood that no means no inside he'd never hindered anybody's career as a result so very interesting we'll see the developments play out today Dean Richards thanks, see you. Tomorrow area, go Dean Richards here on seven twenty WGN, we'll take a. Break at the news and coming up Heather Sharon we'll talk about the plans for federal oversight for. Chicago police reform very interesting story that happened Friday night the mayor and the attorney general Lisa Madigan States at a press conference. Will it happen we'll find out here seven twenty WGN Chicago's premier podcast collection what's going on with WGN plus. It's two thousand. Eighteen and things are much different than, the old, day, so what's changed about. Protester etiquette John cast let's knows, thoughts about. It the corner store is covering everything culture and diversity, with. This, year's Bantu fest in Hyde Park dog thin Humpty you're trying to. Get over some daddy issues just look. Up WGN pas I tunes and, Google play Baseball is about stats and figures at wintrust we're? About numbers to? Like the number of hot dogs sold the Wrigley field each. Game seventeen thousand that's a?.