18 Burst results for "Moshe casher"

"moshe kasher" Discussed on You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

11:21 min | 5 months ago

"moshe kasher" Discussed on You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

"I take bakery the bakery boy but you can't take the donut out of the man. Yeah something in that wild guided that is always advice. Two dads is I was like. There's a lot of stressing that the mom hold the baby's skin to skin. But I was like we talked about my feelings about my body shirt off. Hold the baby mmediately. Just Weird Nick. Half Naked Man. Another advice bit. I have that I that. I wish someone told me. I got a lot of great advice but But the one that. I wish someone told me maybe I told you this is. I thought that the moment the baby was handed to me was supposed to be the most profoundly emotionally revolutionary experience of my life and I was supposed to go this UAE this creature destiny as the legible. I love this thing more than anything. I didn't know what Love was. I felt mostly confusion like I felt I and some people have that like Jesus on the on the on the mountaintop moment with their child or I I did not. I was Al Eighty. This was a mistake I was like. I don't know if I'm the kind of person that was supposed to have kids. I was my maybe my I thought wow and I wish I could have known that. That's common for DADS people. What becomes real. Yeah well it's all cute. There's the big belly and then it becomes very very real. Yeah I understand what you're saying val and I had to slowly. It was more like your years. I want to speak carefully here later. You fall so hard in love with the baby and then you look back and you're like wow. I didn't really know her yet when she came out. Like a bloody wet baby and you do love it. But not in the way you're gonNA love it in a month. That's what I'll say. Yeah it didn't feel like a a an emotional angel singing. Felt like a bomb. Just dropped in my in my arms. I just here's my hypothesis. I feel like men. In my father's generation just weren't experiencing the swath the spectrum of emotional highs the revelation I can fuck in trip out on a Sunbeam on an airplane. You know what I mean like. That's because I'm modern man and I'm living with that vulnerability and that exposure I feel like so. Many dads were working their asses off drinking there fucking asses off and whatever the fuck and then this baby drops in their lives and that might have made it more of an intense thing because they had no other connection to God. That's interesting could be. I just think like some dads get that some moms get that and some don't and for me just like my experience with romantic love experience with parental love was unfolding and the thing that I would say however it's happening for you is okay exactly and it's good. Yeah and that you joked about breastfeeding that is also true. Right like whatever is happening is good and cocaine and isn't it a miracle. There was an Adam ruins everything about breastfeeding that. Vowels struggled a little bit and then when we watched that we were like I texted atom. I was like you've done amidst. I'M NOT TRYING TO BE FUNNY. I'm like Mitzvah. You totally did a gift. Because you put together half hour of TV that I felt better. I wasn't struggling with breastfeeding. Obviously I'm milky is the way and also the idea that the the amount of time you spend drinking a beverage is GONNA CREATE. How close you are to your family for the rest of your life. It's a it's a little overwrought but that's neither here another it's important. I do acknowledge that it's important. Yeah no sure. But what of the Atoms Rene? Everything's point is a fucking miracle babies used to die. Totally MOMS couldn't breastfeed that's as valuable formulas a fucking miracle total. It's fucking crazy. I do recommend the German ones. Yes we also did that. Which mixed mixed mixed feelings for me. What do you mean German? You know Germany brexit Boris Johnson. That's your problem with Germany. Yeah Yup they've pushed the they pushed the UK out. And so you are you Jewish. You know there's amid rush it says if you believe everyone's a Jew you're an idiot. No one's a Jew. You're a bigger fool when you saw my baby. You said how beautiful she was and I was like something came up about how great she looks and I was like what if I was like. Thank you for saying that. Sometimes we'll say into drugs when I do do crowd work last someone if they're Jewish and I'll be like no I don't mean to know should be. Oh no I wish I gosh I wish I was I forget. Which holiday is that rabbis or Hasidic? People will ask if you're Jewish on the street. Oh that's the holiday is called every day. No it's not a holiday. No IT'S A it's a movement it's a movement and whenever they asked me I'm like Oh my God you think something. I wanted to brought a guy to that. I'm a spray of for breeze. That's my race is brought sprays Lysol. That's mine that's hilarious. I wouldn't brought a guy to that sect of Judaism it's called Kabbah and they're the Nice husidic. Jews are very friendly and the big bus and they're the ones who got abby and when they if anyone ever says are you Jewish. That's a Hasidic. That's a hustle. They're very nice. They really are very nice. Yeah we've had a very weird situation happened with their their big raby. They'RE BIG RABBI. Died and they thought that he was actually the Messiah and they were really left in the lurch when he died and then about half of them are like. Oh He's coming back and I was like I feel like I've heard this story before it almost Christians or like you got three days. You're almost right in low. But they'd almost split them apart but they're the biggest movement has to happen for the for the guy that they had been convinced. I think he would usher in the end of times. Yeah Meshiah Yeah. He's the guy. Wow and the reason they're on the streets because of that guy. That guy was this. Charismatic leader of the city of the Hasidic Movement called Kabob which is an old school acidic movement and then all of a sudden in modern times their their ultimate raby came along the way has Jews workers have a rabbi and it's a lineage and it's passed down usually in the family leader leader leader leader leader. Dali Lama this. Yes exactly this guy comes along. He doesn't have children. He is a super genius. Brilliant you know Assadi. They would call them like glowing. Is Up these DOS. Yeah he's exactly Ramdas and he doesn't have kids and he never any says. Meshiah is coming the MESSIAHS coming and the way that he will come is with one more Mitzvah one more good deed one more thing will just one more will make income so get out into the streets and make more mitzvahs happened. That's why there are men across the World Anti Jewish because if you put the to the prayer thing on you do the prayer. That's one more Mitzvah done that might usher in the Messianic Age. And he was basically strongly intimating that it was him and everybody everyone thought it was Sam and the real question is did he think it was him because he didn't name a successor he didn't have a kid he said he's coming and then he died and then they were like what and half of them. Thought IT WAS. GonNa be resurrected really. Yeah it was. It was a Buddha and Buddhism thrived. Obviously yeah it. There's a messiah that's all of the ones you guys have. We made it all right why they believe that the messiahs coming. But that's why we needed. Christ this the he's GonNa come back story right right because because it wasn't complete the Messiah not supposed to die the way that I look at it. I'm like no it's it's it's complete. It's already here. You don't think he's coming back. That's not important to me. That part of my gotcha beliefs or non beliefs. I once brought a guy a young man was like I. I'm Jewish. I WANNA come to Temple and we were like at a time for some reason. At that time we were going to a temple. Why were they only do it to Jewish people though? Sorry because that's what the Mitzvahs are the Mitzvahs our dues what what's a bigger Mitzvah than getting then praying Inter Inter Inter faithfully. I mean you're now in the zone. Where a homeless person? I hear that I know. Get some fucking sandwiches on the street. Why are you trying to what I don't like is anything that becomes a little bit to tribal? I know I'm talking to about Judaism right now and I am sure there are some sensitivity here. But I'm just saying like aren't we all children of God wouldn't that I have a feeling that genius robby would be like yes. We're children of God. Yeah he would but he would also say but it's only the Jews that are supposedly need to follow these specific set of Commandments. Right I don't know I don't believe in any of it and I think Christians are as as tribal as Jews but in a more nefarious way of Corey was saying I'm turned off. They would say yes. All Children of God should pray together but only this way. Yeah same thing. I don't like that's why I like my faith very liberal. And it's like these are these are just signed point there. I'm with you but I I have a feeling anybody that people thought was. The Messiah was loving more liberally than what is your bloodline Well once once brought this guy to a cabal temple who wanted to check out. Judaism guy walked up to him and he goes the rabbi goes. Are You Jewish? I know the story and the guy goes will I will. Well one of my parents is goes. Oh your mother father my dad and the Rabbi Extend. His hand goes one hundred percent gentile. Wow which was one of the worst the worst moments of my religious life. But I'm not an Orthodox Jew so I don't need the whole thing about Orthodox. Judaism is the same thing with fundamental Christianity. It's rule based. It's all about rules in out wall. Yeah it's all about rules not MD. I may break down walls. It's build walls feel in decide. Who's out it's the classic? It's not just that it's almost every faith is like we're in your hour and yeah totally and that's completely. It's not where I'm at. It's not where I'm at dog We we wrapping it up. What time is it? Oh boy I gotta go I gotTa go to can I talk? Can Edit this out quickly at at this out. Actually we edit this and put it at the beginning of the episode. I do have an album coming out. I would love free the people to get it. I'm very proud of it. It's it's an all crowd work album i. It's like a concept album called crowd surfing and got this Guy Ben Brown. Who's like the preeminent surf punk artist to draw the cover and it's it's just super super awesome. He's called Crowd Surfing. It's a concept album. That's one hundred percent crowd work. But it's nonstop Barre. It's not don rickles it's not it's not what do you do for living? It's me I came up with specific questions that I ask the audience and they were. They would tell me stories about some crazy. The craziest things happen and it's an hour of just like some of the wildest weird stories. I'm really happy and proud of so good for you..

MESSIAHS UAE Temple Germany Al Eighty DADS Inter Inter Inter don rickles UK cocaine val Boris Johnson MD raby Assadi Ben Brown abby Ramdas Meshiah
"moshe kasher" Discussed on You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

10:44 min | 5 months ago

"moshe kasher" Discussed on You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

"Yeah you're trying to drive down the road as a fucking huge speed bond. Sometimes you need someone in the car that goes. Do you always drive this huge circular detour? They're like what do you mean the way to work? I think we need to work on but the one thing you can never do as a person with PTSD is ever ever jump over the wall and examine. What's in there ever that that is the scariness? That's the scary place. And what does is it makes. Nothing scary it makes it break down every wall. That's why it was a relationship drug and it's in its infancy. And so they take. These combat recently returned combat veterans. They give them this very rigid regimented thing where they do like a male female therapy team that does like eight sessions and then you one molly the one MD AMA session where you go to the memory and then you do more talk therapy. Go back there. Recovery rates and they. They CLAIM RECOVERY. Not a not get better. But as symptomatic of combat. Ptsd is something like eighty percent or seventy percent and the talk therapy alone. Traditional therapy alone is thirty. It's the inverse it's the it's the small number so what they're doing is incredible. Yeah and that was a bit of. I think we probably talked about how bill. W in the big book we sort of. We need to look into this. He did it. Yeah he did it. Wilson did LSD straight up. And it's like a weird thing that people don't really WANNA talk about. When they talk about it they go. They kind of like because he's become deified in. Aa they go like oh those whom he you know at the time the same way with Jesus and wine by the way right like well. Water was dirty so you had to drink wine. Just read what. They're Jesus talks about being at a party when he made water into wine in the story. Everyone's drunk the punchline of that story is usually you bring out the good wine the bad wine whatever the point is. There's a a mention of like you bring out the best wine. Now after everyone's drunk right usually you bring out the bad wine when everyone's shrunk. But Jesus wine was so good. He was at a party where everyone's fucked up. That's awesome so it wasn't it's more Our latter day Saint Louis Struggle with the wind. Because Catholics red wine is the official beverage of Cathal absolutely. Yeah there's also there's also. The bill is a real problem with bill. W really don't want to talk about go ahead is he was obsessed with Niacin at least at least at least. Lsd has like fun mythology connected to enlightenment. He was really into Niacin so much so that they were like. Hey Bill stopped pushing the fuck in Niacin do. Do you want to look in my cabinet? There's a lot of fucking night because I did research on Niacin and it's it can work wonders for depression to like right. And all of that is obviously linked into the psychology of addiction as well but There there there's movie called food matters where they talk about this. And there's this guy tells a story where she was so depressed she. She wouldn't leave the corner like literally like like the the. Dunst cliche of like facing the courts very sad. They just started giving her like. I don't WanNa make up the number but many thousand milligrams of Niacin and then like she got better and then her doctor was like. I don't know if you should be taking that much nice. And and then it was back to the corner. It's very sad story. And he's making the point that like he has the numbers of how many people die from prescription anti Or not antidepressants. But all sorts of prescriptions going wrong. He's like throughout all of known time. It's like twenty. People have died from vitamin over. The he's like. What are we doing his research? It do it all people that are listening. I when I was trying to because I've tried to quit many times. Yeah I'm addicted tonight. Okay no but what I wanted to stop drinking there. Were all these like little. What are you doing? I was experimenting with nights and I would take a lot of Nice and before I went out to take nice when I was in in Rehab because there was a rumor and maybe a true rumor that if you took an overdose or whatever you would get a clean piss test that it would it would Fleischer and I did a lot of things to pass this test. One didn't work. The Nice didn't work for me. The problem with all the appropriate all these strategies to be Piss test is that they eventually stopped working. They work golden seal and then they stop working. You get golden seals. T- detox tea. That people would would try. I mean there was vinegar. People would say vinegar. If you drank a cup of half a cup of vinegar a day you get a clean pissed off. One time I had a Piss test the next day and I was like freaking out and I went and I stole a bottle of a full court of vinegar and I walked into a Wendy's bathroom and I filled up at Wendy's cup and I drank. I drank too full medium sized cups of vinegar. I walked out into the street with the most agonizing stomach ache of my life. I fucking puked my guts out. It was like I was. I felt like I was about to die. I drank a bottle of vinegar in like thirty seconds worse than Shit Foot three shifts fucking puking all over the sidewalks of Oakland. I mean I literally felt like I was going to die to die. I went home. I slept for twelve hours. I got up the next day pissed in the cup. Clean baby it worked. Give it a whirl and the best part was that name I mom made dinner and I just puked on the salad and it was delicious. It was really nice that is I was looking for a salad. Italian man walked along. He puked up olive oil. It was beautiful to to pass up. Kumail rubbed his forearm over yourself chiny. He did that. I I China's up too so I I went to therapy. I I went and I examined my relationship stuff and they did the work. A lot of work and nothing changed. I mean habitually. I got I got worse. I'm the LYSOL story was way after I went to therapy right. Yeah and nothing changed. I had some moments of getting better. I had greater understanding. I describe it now as I was preparing the House though. The Yard was a bit of a mess right as preparing the house and I still just a mess I mean by the end of my my dating life it was got so transactional that will be playing. I remember I'd be playing a video game and I would be on with one hand and I'd be texting people on the other and then somebody would agree to come over. The apartment would come over our press pause on the video game turn the TV OFF. Have a sex have a sex and and then when she would leave. I would press play on the video game. We keep playing transactional. Sex have become anyway then. He met Natasha and started dating. I demurred for a while. I didn't sleep with her because she was a friend. And a CO worker and a colleague and I withheld for a while and And finally we started getting romantic and then and then a long story. Short got frantic. Then things small Koch. I can't live quality breath okay. Okay and then. I've been married to her for five years and she it's like in the end. It was both I needed to get the house ready but I also was waiting for the right person to come along interest just needed to like set off a bunch of mines this whole time. Yeah and wait wait. Wait and get everything prepared. And there she was and here I am well and then we got this kid. You have a baby handing ATP YEP and it all worked out. Obviously I'm happy to hear that I don't even want to say that that's awesome really fun. Life is good like same for you man. I don't WanNa go to into Dad Territory. But you're just like what were we doing before this? It is a rearrangement. It's a clear I mean like. It seemed stupid. My friends like I. They sent a screeners. I haven't watched anything time and I don't mean that in a bad way I mean that in the like I said when I was in labor. It's the opposite of looking at your phone. Something is happening right just tribal drums. Yeah and it's real and it's finally happening to you. I know what's happening to valve. What was happening to me in my way. And that's what parenting is too. You're like this is the realist ship. There's like not bad consequences. There's just like consequent like you do this. You bond like the fact that one of my greatest achievements. Fuck you know there. I like my showbiz achievements. I'm just saying when val is holding LII and the CLICHE. Is that the baby. Everybody maybe mom just so many people were just like just wait till they're like three then they'll like dad. I was like I can't I don't accept that and when vows holding little baby Lee and she reaches for me. I'm like fucking a. That's way better than grand theft auto. We know the good thing. Is that the. Dodd is much easier for babies then. Mama. Yeah don't feel special. I knew she didn't know what she was saying. She calls everything data. No I'm just saying that's for the my minds hard to separate the male ego. That's nice. They gave us a little something. You don't might my grand theory on childbirth. The best system for the father is Caesarean. I'll tell you what maybe not for the mother but when this Assyrian birth mom so knocked out on drugs you get I grant you because obviously the physiological connection between mother and just baby is is already breakable and established. So you have to hold the baby. The first few hours you with the baby. Yeah very funny. You know you can also do that. Without an invasive. What's very funny? This is really what happened. No judgment disease actions by the way no invasive is just clinical term better. It's an invade better. It's better what's back these actions They're better than vaginal birth and also breastfeeding is a is a is a lie okay but anyway Owen the Earth is flat and also but this is true. I had the baby. I didn't have the baby. The baby she was knocked out. I was holding her first hours. You know took a nap with her. Those like one of the first things and and then the the nurse came into give her like her to give her something taken away from me and I was like. Oh thank God like I was like freaking out alone. The Taj was knocked out and I was scared and I was overwhelmed and I went across the street and then all of a sudden it got really hungry and I went across the street. And do you know what I ate? Ice My hand to got two cups of vinegar to buttermilk doughnuts like God. My God I don't know what that means..

Niacin PTSD LSD China Bill Oakland official Dunst Wilson Cathal Rehab Kumail theft Natasha depression Koch Fleischer
"moshe kasher" Discussed on You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

12:35 min | 5 months ago

"moshe kasher" Discussed on You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

"Tell you being going to burning man with being with Natasha. When she didn't come the first time and I didn't have the hall pass. I was really worried I was like what if I get thrown. I don't enjoy it. Was this whole thing that I thought was a fundamental experience for me just being like did I like the desert was shooting people in the face exactly if I was like. This'll be pathetic if I got. I own axiom joy of like oh. I didn't cheeses dirty horny. This time that was it. I could have just stayed home and jerk off now so the next I posed was called the classic elite. You have to make sure you finish that and say you went and tell me what it was like when you went. Oh when I went I know I went and I had a great experience and And I was great grateful for that because I maybe I may always pictured someone just wearing like one piece of tanned leather. Well I'll tell you on your porn analogy how you know you watch porn and everything becomes sexualize now when val takes her clothes off. It's like a more hubba hubba than ever before the opposite the inverse is to burn you. Get to burning man. There's naked people everywhere the first hour and a half you like a Miata do CDs before me by the end of the week. You're just like you know. There's a woman spread Eagle in front of you on a UNICYCLE. Shooting like flaming Martinez out of her vagina. And you're just like that old chestnut. I believe it or not. This old puritanical boy had that experience. I remember the first time I took mushrooms. I was sitting by. Fountain are all these naked people were in. I was just like 'cause I was clear right. I wasn't looking through my psychology. I was just like yeah. Yeah so then you get back to the real world and somebody's got a low cut shirt on. You're like Oh. I'm glad I believe so. I was tempted. I mean only on this most surface of level. That was kind of a weird question to ask. I suppose then then I posed the classic would about a threesome. I was GONNA say. Why not threesomes? And she's I've had a couple of friends where they're like we gotta spice it up. We're going to go open. I always go just have sex with somebody together right this. No good is really funny. Her response was like I was such a Horny Idiot. That do smoke since she goes. Oh yeah that's an okay. That's an idea. What if we wait? We should made me wait until we have a family. She was like. Let's wait for the kids to come on and then have like a classic just pushing the off it was like it was like. Oh so there's there's horizon Oh yeah we just gotTa wait for the baby to come around. That's classic group sex time. Oh why Jesus cut you in the car with no getty to me again in the car on the way back from the hospital with the baby. So what if you're like the day you were born was the happiest because I thought we were GonNa have some that that evening and then a month after you're born I was the low point that was went to bed last night and I was like remember when the baby would get up every ninety minutes. Yeah I know and now we're like not mad but we're like put out if she gets up at five total and like it used to be every ninety minutes and we loved it rich blonde because like it's like camping that's the best thing you can put it an adventure totally and your life is over and you can either be sad about that. I don't even mean your life is over. Your life is changed. Can I tell you camping? I'll tell you a story about that. That is kind of fucked up and said but my two experiences with that as as an aside I want to tell you my relationship of monogamy now but my experience with that kind of cycle or with my baby and with my dying grandmother and with my grandma I was she at the end of her. Life was so like discomfort that I brought a folding mattress into her bedroom and I was sleeping on the floor at her bed because she was I would be my bedroom and she would be screaming all night and I would have to get out of bed. Go in a room adjuster and is in your house. She was in my house. She moved into my house at the at the end of her life. No she I have a really sad memory of I lived in this house growing up with a really long set of stairs to get to the house part. There was a door and then a really long staircase and it was hard to get up and hard to get down and we used to get in sleeping bags and slide down and it was like you know it wasn't like it was all bad. It was fun but it was also a lot of stairs and I when I brought her home her home from the hospital for the last time. I had this memories with my best friend growing up new Jesse and we were helping her up the stairs and I had this really clear conscious knowledge that this was the last time she was going to send these stairs. Wow this was a profound. It felt really intense and now and she was in such discomfort. She'd call me into her Hou- into room cages. Energetic that is what brings vitality to any moment right. Say on this podcast when shower go this could be my last shower not to be morbid. Yeah but to smell the soap. Yeah total totally. And you had that impose like secondhand. Yeah it was visceral and it was true it was the last time and and I I so I started the cycle of pulling up sleeping at the foot of her bed. So that I wouldn't have to get up in the middle of the night and walk and And then as an aside. This is actually a funny very dark thing. My grandma who's in and out. She's very my grandma isn't just my grandma. She was definitely second parent because my mom moved us when we were babies so the the to parenting to people to raise me where my grandmother and my mother and So she was really really integral to my life and she was hardcore atheist very anti-god and and at some point in her she was in and out of lucidity also at the end she. She says to me pulls me close to her one night in full lucid grandma mode. She goes if there is a god he saves the worst part of your life for the end was like thank you grandma. I will be haunted by these for the rest of my day. He's like one of our final minutes just to me. Wow bye-bye world enjoy the next fifty years wow. I don't know what to make of that. At any rate I was. There couldn't tell if she meant it like it's nice that he saves like I don't think so I think what a bastard God is. I think that's what it was. At any rate. I did that all night. Up every hour and a half. What do you need you need? Some water adjustment. Okay feed and then. It was really one of the most painful experiences of my life. I mean it was really and it was also six months after my dog died a year after my dad died so it was just like it was it was the the bad time of my life and then you get this experience with the baby where it's like. Taking care of a baby is exactly like taking care of a dying person in reverse. It's like every day they're more vital every day they're more self sufficient every day. They're they're a little bit more. I wouldn't say healthy but yeah healthy in a way you know every day. They're more themselves and with with with an old person every day they're a little less than a little less themselves and they're losing their their memories in their brain is shutting down and the baby. The brain is uploading. And it's booting and you can see lights coming on with an old person. You can see the lights going off and like to me. That was a really beautiful kind of asymmetry to those to experience the same door exactly. Yeah and and I'm grateful now that my my experience of caring for a being that directly is all it's all health and positive and good. Some parents have a harder time with. But we got lucky. Kid is very healthy and Mama Blah. But anyway yeah. That's what's up. Yeah I realize I tell boring stories where I'm like Leela can now pinch something with precision. Like cog up like one. We don't give her EMINEM. It's but she could pick up one eminem if she wanted to. And I realized that's like the most boring thing in the world but there's a beauty to that too. There's a beauty to the fact that these children's developmental cycles are so unbelievably painstakingly minute and boring. No one on earth could ever give buck about it except the person who was there for every single iteration of it because to you feels like monumental shifts to your friend it feels like a fuck another boring eminem story. Yeah get fucked. It's a kind of a beauty to that to nick. Cannon did a distract and other boring. Yeah there's there's a lot of beauty to Nassau and then it just keeps. I mean I don't mean to be the guy that is how old is your almost two. Yeah and it. The booting up process gets like real wild. Yeah you can walk now. Walk from her crib. She came into the kitchen. And we're like what and no one cares but it's so fun like people think they love babies but you never get a whole day with a baby. I've had entire days multiple where it was just me and her the entire day. And you're like if you don't look at it as a means to an end if you can stop and actually climb the stairs. Yeah your baby. I'm not trying to make light of your grandma moment but if you can just be like just just do this. Just do this with the baby. It's the most fascinating thing in the world. If you go like man it's only eleven. Am and then you you rob yourself of it. Well they also get to this point where they become. There's a transfer that has happened for me. Emotionally with her where she's become a member of the family not a thing that we're caring for not an organism. We love that were caring for. She's like she's clicking into this social structure in our family where it's like. Oh you belong here. Oh you're oh you're you're bringing things to the table. This is. This happened the other day. This is a nice. I don't know if this is to dad story but it actually I walk. I was with her and we were taking a bath. And we've got other bath and put her under diapers. You've just under diaper and I walked into the into the we also have three dying dogs right now like this is a lot of chaos at our house and I walk into the into the hallway and I step in a just a gigantic pile of shit. I mean and it's like it's not like a step in and walk off. It's like my whole foot is I a Dutch clog of of Shit right and I'm like Oh no I started screaming and my kid is like a little bit like no no. I'm not mad at you mad dog and she's laughing and she's saying like Shit foot or you know. She's car but I assume when it gets a fiscal enough it'll be shit foot. It and she'll be marking and also the funny part of it is. I always make daddy and I always I'm always roasting Natasha because she has a sort of Predator natural ability to step in the shit wherever it is in the house because our dogs dying. There like all incontinent. It's not a good time to come over. At any rate. I run into the into the bathroom and I put my leg up. You know on the on the sink balancing and I'm washing shit and and there's the Lysol hello friend. Shot the LYSOL. Actually I did use LYSOL and come in and wash the shit off then. My kid tries to climb the stool to me and put her foot up on like no. No no you'RE GONNA fall. I go into the kitchen. I grabbed up. Cooter mall for cleaning the Shit. She's there looking at me and laughing at me. And she's like verbal at this point to she's kind of talking about and I'm like Oh finally the Shit has gone. Clean it up putting the toilet. Walk down the hallway. I step in a second pile of shit and this is within instant three minutes in at this point. I'm like and the grandma was wrong. The worst part is now if there is a god as as the worst part of your life for the hallway three dogs and so I go into the second bathroom and I'm doing it again washing the same thing. I'm washing it at and I came back to the hallway to make sure there's no more shit on this this runner. I'm like I know I have to like inspect it to make sure I step in the biggest pile of.

Natasha val eminem Cooter mall Martinez Jesse Nassau Mama Blah Cannon
"moshe kasher" Discussed on You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

11:56 min | 5 months ago

"moshe kasher" Discussed on You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

"And that was me with eating everything in the minibar bites. Who's my open WHO's incredible. She was talking about binging and I was like. That's what I do I been. I'm not saying we don't have to vilify and feel bad for ourselves. I'm just identifying a behavior. I'm feeling sad feeling hungry and therefore I'm going to eat all of these seconds. Nikki's have ever told you about the act so that to binging. Oh yeah well that's good. That's good because that's an binging is innately. It's GONNA kill you. That's not good. That is bad. I read a book called been bit. Never been again and it's really rough twenty books. It's like you need. I'll tell the secret of this book right. I only had to read like a third of it to be like I got it. Yeah it's one of those books where you can tell the rest of. It is just reinforcing what he already said. You just need to separate yourself from the part of you. That wants to bench. It's the same thing with drinking. He separate yourself from it. You give it some sort of and you just go like that thing. It's a nihilist. It doesn't give a fuck about me. It only wants what it wants. It only wants the momentary rash of eating all those Doritos me. My goals my dreams my health and when it he calls it a pig it's mean but he calls it your pig picture bebop from Ninja Turtles. When he goes. We got a Mohawk. When you hear squeals you don't give a fuck about me. You just WANNA break dancing the sewers. Which is funny because he wants to eat pizza which is what then. Ninja Turtles are eating. I once went to I want. I want to tell you two things one about your corporate corporate clean. I've ever told you idea for the act the act. You don't need this as much as I do. But it's for people like me who literally a corporate GIG offered to me. And they're like no adult themes. I have to turn the GIG down. I don't have I don't have the clean. Well I mean I do twenty minutes and do crowd work. Maybe clean crowd work for forty. But I can't have your crowd work in the you can do. Those reverse. Proportion is what I'm saying so so so the act is a IT'S A. It's an hour of corporate clean standup that. The comedy committed annual incomes together and writes we all right it together. You know. It's like all the great minds but people like that you know people like nate bar. Gazzi doesn't have to and Seinfeld. They don't have to participate because they're like you guys got we're already making. This is good good. But it's you know Jim Norton and Doug Stanhope and Jay and I feel like together. We could write an hour of corporate clean. And then there's an hour of of open source clean corporate candidate of comedy for all of us to use and I put a bit into it. Yeah because we did. A lot of that for crashing would write these like shortages. Put me in fits and Mike Lawrence would sit and Jamie would all sit down and write these bits. Just because Pete needed to do my character would just need to do a bit So we're just right like sort of generic bets for one of them was this. I'm GonNa all they'd have to tell me was the premise and just like loosely. What it is stop dropping role was the premise. Got It you know. That's what the act would be as things like. Stop Drop stop dropping role. That's what we say when somebody is on fire stop dropping raw. Do you need the stop? Sure Hey I know you're on fire. Comedown drop annual. If you don't drop before you roll brother that to spend this should be role word roll roll roll because it rhymes motherfucker motherfucker. That's why I need the Act. Yeah you need the Act. But you'd have to negotiate it. If you're both on the same cruise ship big Jay would come up to me you doing the act tonight. And we're like Jay come on. I got this GIG. I please hilarious. And then he would intimidate with me with his big size and I would say find you do the act and then I would do. I would just jump off the bow. What do they call the bow? Is this where the ship has done is where the curtain call is food court this where renegade foods go on trial? I feel you don't need to put on speakerphone microphone. But I want when it's funny I've evolved enough that I want to talk about things that I get really excited and most of the things I get really excited about our better when I'm swearing or making even green eggs and ham. I I was like Oh do green eggs and ham for these guys. It's it's like a clean joke. Then I realized the best part of green eggs and him as I say you cock butter bitch like but I do it in this way like I like. I don't know how to be means so I go you butter bench and that's kind of the best part then riff on someone who has a stick of butter for a Dick and I'm like it isn't clean in the bed. I'm already doing it. I'm like you ever let feeling where you're getting closer to the collapse like shit and I'm like just skip it. Just skip it and then I'm skipping it and they can tell I'm not there a bad date I've totally been there and you're you're trying to find the point where it will still make sense. But that's the worst. I have a story about editing. Might stand up. I can't wait. This is crazy story but I just want to warn everyone that doesn't involve the f-bomb not not the fuck bomb out but the bad the real. I WANNA move it. Where that's the F word it is. I think I think but there was a time in comedy where the where the word faggot gets. You A lot of alternative comedy pop points. I if you were saying the right way I totally right and I was watching wolf of Wall Street and that goes to the F. Word Well Allot oh sure. I'll la where it's like. You're not supposed to say that. And they would they are saying then it was watching movie blow and they keep using it and there was a time when that was like just enough squared of a lemon in your eye. Titillate you right not enough to upset you and obviously we've gone with that. That probably was true with the N. Word at some point to. That's that's exactly the right corner. There was a time when it was funny to to say all sorts new. I've always said like if it's if not funny if it's no longer thought it was okay right and it's no longer effective or or it doesn't work anymore on stage right for to do the ironic drop the F bomb right and I always say like that that might be bad for me as a comedian but certainly good for society. It's better for society that that were to become radioactive. Okay right so I had this bit. the Houston closer. A bit about how I went to France and I spoke French so poorly that when people would come up to me and ask me a question in French I would say No Parle Francais. Which I thought meant. I don't speak French but which actually means you don't speak French and so there was this. Act Out where it was like. Oh that means you don't speak French right. I mean you don't speak French and so people come up to me and I would. Do you know almost bombed French impression. And I say you don't speak French and the guys likes excuse him. Almost policy trump. If you don't speak French and I- CULMINATES WITH NEAT screaming. You don't speak French you French. Get Yeah and then I had to stop myself and say you can't talk to people like that. You can't can't call people that in French. It's pronounced fete okay so that was my closer at that time. This is closer. Oh yeah it was a Banger of of a bit giving its due diligence? You're aligning really nervous about podcast. We had such a delicate dance. Never you just when you're talking about him and his name and growing up where you all these things it's like somebody who's last name is he actually did say foam sexual. I think Selma sexual is his last name. Oh so okay. So that was cool it was a banger. It's a bit but it probably has expired. It's cultural currency anyway. I was going to Israel that it was good and I was going to Israel and it was going to perform at this comedy. Club called the off the wall Comedy Club in Jerusalem off the wall the Wailing Wall. You'll have a whale of it. You'll be swallowed a whale of a good time and the guy the booker there was like. Oh you can't swear at this Gig because there's a lot of like you. Sheva students at seminary students like a lot of religious kids who have had issues. Sure I know a lot about religion back from a something that you thought we were doing something and I kept making all these references and mortgages went you know a lot about religion. We got it. I was like you're just giving me what I want to thank you. You know a lot so I went to do the GIG and I was like racking my brain because at the time I was a much less developed comedian. I didn't have the ability to do a different associated like I just didn't have another close. I was like that was the only thing that there was. This was even fifteen years ago like I just couldn't this joke doesn't just like it isn't peppered with swears. It's a joke about a swear that's right. Yeah even wear a slur. Yeah so I was like racking my brain. How do I do this? I couldn't. I couldn't not do it? I thought at the time and I came up with something I was like. Oh I know I'll say you don't speak French you French piece of crap and then so can talk to people like that in France crepes for CREPE. Exactly what a sophisticated edit right. It's a bread to bread. They're both bread bread bread bread bread. Good job so I get on stage. I do my set. I close it out French piece of crap piece of crepe. Everybody laughs great show after the show. The booker comes up to me. I was like good job right. He's like yeah. It was good. It was good. Can't crap here though. I go crap if you knew the original punchline it was faggot and they say that yeah and he goes. Oh no no faggots. Okay Candyman K. In this guy's warped religious world. The dude was an ex totally accessible. I can't believe if you've told that story on this podcast before then. I told this story immediately. After because at my Christian college people wouldn't swear but they'd say the F. Word and then the story goes. This kidney map was in my room and I liked to swear even as a freshman at Gordon College. I enjoyed swearing. I didn't hide that. I like swearing off. That was not allowed. Nobody really swore. Whoa I mean they might say shit every once in a while maybe in the dorms after a few mountain dews I like swearing more than most sure and then this kid matt was in my room. He looked like Michael J. Fox but sort of doughy and he and he said he knew I didn't like the word the F word and he said it and I said I don't say that word when you're in my room and he goes well then. Don't swear when you're in my room. It sounds like a fake story. But it's totally true. I got up and said well. We're in my room. Now get the fuck out the door on Michael J. Fox space did you. That's very actually looked shocked. Like the way that someone would overact like in a Sitcom and be like no one would make that face like. That's what was fun about Christian College was it was like being on family ties. Like if you said get the FUCK OUT PEOPLE WOULD. They would have been better story than it is for US my brother when he was in seminary. P Yeah He. My brother went to a series of decreasingly hardcore shavers. And until the one that he finally got his rabbinate from was a kind of progressive it's Orthodox still but it's like the most progressive called Open Orthodox. Where's the MANISCHEWITZ? It's in the wine.

Jay French France booker Michael J. Fox Israel Nikki MANISCHEWITZ Christian College Wailing Wall nate bar wall Comedy Club Gazzi Pete Gordon College Dick matt Seinfeld
"moshe kasher" Discussed on You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

12:53 min | 5 months ago

"moshe kasher" Discussed on You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

"God You are only think of Rodman and then you at Christmas. This is my Keychain Ju- detect. I know breath Jing Baby. It's cold outside. Kristen right. We Have Reps. We have five. Oh boy we haven't hung in a long time and it's weird. I miss you too very much and I'm like we should do it on Mike because I do. It would be yeah. I think the last episode that came out complained that I never see you out of love. I was like I never see my friend. We were kids so we yes. We took them out. Let's take them kids out. No I know Nick. Thune was a kid. You have a baby and right right. I thought it was La. I was using it as evidence that Kumail. It's a weird thing that his muscles are so close. No he has a baby as well his body. Yes I got baby. Body is using a bottle warmer to eat up. Hey think about it when you see his body. What is the first thing you say? Oh Baby. Ooh ooh my. My tongue descends like walks up in the talking about them and we're talking about getting rid of. Here's my thing. Forget all my stupid hetty bullshit images and Blah Blah. I found that if I was watching a lot of porn I would go out into the world. Just projecting sex onto everybody. It just became so normal to see a beautiful Barista and just picture sex almost involuntarily. Because that's what I fucking watching in the same exact way or your search word is Barista. I didn't know that that's interesting. Information Steve You know. When YOU'RE GONNA Steve. Now that's what I call a Lotta Come Pacino very good. Yeah Yeah and then you do the heart shape in it. Oh gross this has been gross. No but I. I don't relate to you I it's interesting too. I don't I'm not judging you. I'm just I really don't relate. I really don't it literally. It was men and women. It was just not that I am not saying okay. See this is what I'm talking about. Pc cultures gone a little too far. Perhaps a little. Everything was just sexualizing. Everybody was just. It just changed the way that I would look at the world that does sound like I'm attracted to men and if I was I would tell you. That's not what I meant. I would just like the whole world. Just became porn actors even waiting. Yeah that's interesting. It affected you in a different way. You know this reminds me of. Oh I can't not affect you give me and I don't know I don't know. Maybe Neil our buddy good neil good neil king good king then good king down make a good. King Neil to town riding on three mile weeks something like that or maybe writing on. Tuft and needle mullany one said that did so skinny reforming isn't that good dudes just like a Pez dispenser. Just candy falls out of his neck. Neil said that he uses it every day he was like I look at porn every day. And you know what that's not. There were times when I was looking at it every day and I was like. It's weird that we're all just like there's there's it's changing. What sex is. That's for sure? I believe to Jim Norton when I did his show you know he's he's a sex positive fella I guess. I don't know how to classify Jim Norton but I was like there's something not quite right. It's the same about getting all your meals delivered. There's something not quite right about that. There's also something not quite right about having your base human desires met by two dimensional flat images. That don't care about now. We're into David. Foster Wallace Territory. Was like having your needs met by things that don't love you is not participating in the universe. It's holding up but it's retracting I guess I that a human being laid that's different but why if if you're if you're if you're thesis argument these say the your thesis argument. I bullshit teaching my. Hey Hey bro. You're just a comedian going on now. We don't have that light at this. Is You made it weird? We have a light that goes off if you're having too much if you're but if your baseline argument is that that that might be the nourishing. La PCP is that the nourishing act of sex. Ought to be from a human being that loves you and you are a person incapable for one reason or another of finding a person to give you that love then you are always on whole and I kind of just. Don't feel anger always on. I'm not saying you're arguing that I'm saying that's the extension of the argument. Is that a person that can't get laid. I'm shooting A. Let's just say we're talking about Neil. It's there might be value in just going like okay. Fuck everybody else. He'll take it all out. I'm saying I find value in just being horny instead of always putting out any fire. That's burning inside or you no longer masturbating now. Jacket to what the SPANK big. But what is the difference between running for your memories and looking at some some image? It's a good question. But the images are showing me things people faces expressions nuance that like. My mind is not throwing me that. I'll tell you what I do is interesting by the way. I'm just letting you know that you're challenging me. You're making me think about it. I don't have it all figured out. I'm I was just saying it feels good and right for me told and I stopped by that support. It and by the way as we're talking about I'm like I don't have it figured out. Well I also feel like maybe. My image of my idea of sexuality is as reductive as maybe accusing years of being like you know. Sometimes I do overcompensate in a way that I'm almost conscious of a away from sexual shame like it's also naive to say that. All all sexual weirdness. Psychological weirdness is just a product of society or whatever. Although there is some part of me that believes that. If we're just animals then we should all just be reading in a field looking for a ripe fruits. That's kind of my point right. I don't believe we're just animals. I believe you can so going back to the idea of not God as a deity somewhere but God being relationship and vulnerability and nuance and and flow and real world shit being where the juices including just maybe having a conversation with somebody how you you're hurting because you can't find somebody to be sexual with you and to have love with you That that feels like the dance more than just being Gholam. Golly sort of thing to be just like in your cave with your ring and just going like I what what instead of going like. Is it better to have like lots and lots of casual sex? That's a great question. I mean these are great questions. I'm just curious I would say probably not either. I that feels to me sounding real like Christian and that is not my intention We'll we'll edit it all out. Yeah I told you. We're not. We're not going to release this and I mentioned that I'm doing an album coming up so no before you had it this. I do have a album coming out saying that we cut free to bed. We cut. There's some part of me that feels like a lots of casual. Sex has the ability not not the innate quality the ability to be more destructive to your humanity than watching porn all the time. Dude completely agree. Sex CAN BE PORNA- FIDE. Sure it can be tennis. A fide to it can be like playing tennis where two consenting adults are like. This is casual. Oh Yeah Total is fun. This is sweaty. It's only wearing a headband. It's only for White. Tennis are crazy. That is funny. Wait three and I know it was just a riff on the kind of I got you. I went. I'm wearing a headband. I'm wearing my heart. My Agassi's I've taken off my beads and put on my headband. I turn the picture of Andre Agassi around. You should stay in his eyes when I come. I go how have I ever told you? I don't know if I've said this on this podcast but it's very funny and you'll love it can't wait but maybe. I've said it already but who knows there. You've done a lot of content. When I was single and I was promiscuous I used to when I would go to the comedy store and I would bomb a story about the pathology of promiscuity. If I'd go the comedy store and I would have a bad set. Would you win it back at the buffet? I would sort of interesting where he said you go to Vegas and you lose. He's like don't win it back at the buffet. Very funny. That funny so I would get my car and I start texting like booty calls. Yeah AT THE COMEDY STORE. I understand and if I got a text text text. Hey what's up? Hey what's up? Hey what's up? Hey what's up if I got to western and no one had replied. Oh Paul over at the winstone there and it was like this this drug. Will you be taking this is like a sober guy? By the way I was Gonna say that's real addict behaves like you go to the bar. If you drink you walk to the bar you have you ever whiskey but you don't drink the like. Hey what's up? Hey what's up? Hey what's up? Okay buttermilk oldfashioned. It is oh my Jesus dude to relate. I had a GIG. Recently it was a it was a corporate or something with some fundraising. I couldn't be dirty and I went up and I was like this set is rough. I realized my new our while. It's not filthy it rely. There's a lot of punch lines where I'm like like I need to say that I need to a moat. That and I couldn't just be like G. The bits weren't working. Let me just say before you finish your story? I've seen this new our and I really liked it. It's really good. Thank you much when I watched it. I was in the back of the room at a dentist. Deborah like this. I knew you were good. Motherfucker is good. Oh thank you much. I mean I really appreciate album coming out on January Eddie. So the sad I was sort of bound and I had to do old stuff. And there's a terrible feeling for comedians. When you do old stuff to like. Don't worry I'll just do an old old clean bit and I'll win them and it doesn't even have you've liked out for no one fail little league. I wear a cap move they will. That is the worst feeling when you go to the the sell out well and there's no water in dude so old. Pd is feeling bad. He's feeling wind chills. Donuts sure he doesn't I was I was never like A. Let's win it back at the buffet and the sex way. But I got back to my hotel room and I think I ate the entire minibar. Oh sure angles. Nikki's do candyman. Cain I'll show my way through those terrible hotel. Jelly beans. Whatever Ronald Reagan was enjoying. I'll take a over snicker any day of the week. Wow there were different dude. Are you a fruity pebbles? You get you get affected by porn. I do not like a snicker I do not you keep your nuts out of my canker McCain Kane. Oh my God willing to get out of here you know why because I'm a hungry boy. You're a skinny winning. That's right yeah like I don't want to be really satisfied when you went to the ice cream truck. I bet you like a popsicle or an Italian ice. What do you get into Sunday? The biggest thing is I was the double cookie ice cream sandwich. I was hungry boy. I'm so this is my point. I've just now come to light that. I think I have my addiction like okay. I have addictive qualities. I've seen it with alcohol. It's why stop I've I've seen it with keeping weed in the house and I was like. Oh you're doing it with food. That's you with doughnuts..

King Neil tennis Steve You Andre Agassi Jim Norton Kristen Thune Rodman La Mike Nick Ronald Reagan Wallace Territory hetty PCP Pacino Tuft McCain Kane Deborah
"moshe kasher" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

Bertcast's Podcast

14:32 min | 6 months ago

"moshe kasher" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

"I opened from the punchline in San Francisco when I was a comedian and it was like that was an amazing and again this was pre trump. Pre like everybody's looking for reason to be upset. Yes so it was interesting to watch them in San Francisco of all places because like Patrice. He was so offensive about people. Forget he was very offensive. It's and it's and it's hard hard to you. Know people gave Chapelle Shit when he was like. I'm what they call a victim plumber. People forget that the group of of black comics and New York right. We're I I mean they just it was like it was like keeping it real and black clubs in New York. They're not. I'm not the biggest fucking hotbed of. WHOA kness sure definitely but like Patrice would be it was offensive? It was in it was indefensible. Actually would say but he was so funny and so undeniably funny that I would watch like out because I got to see him like seven nights in a row opening for him I would watch like maybe five percent of the women in the room would walk because the things he was saying where they were undeniably incredibly offensive to women horrifying. He had legit issues with the people that would stay. It's not like by the end of their set. They were like okay. I agree by the end of the set. They were still like fuck you but they were laughing because they couldn't resist like what was going on there. He unlocked. He talked about he would he would one of his things he did a lot was he would Do analogies comparing women to animals. He did that a lot and then and then one of the other things. He did a lot like he would take a view. And it wouldn't even be technically insightful. And this goes to that Shane Gillis thing of people. Lighten up Shane Gillis. When he was just talking there's a clip online of Patrice worth just Put Patrice O'Neal. I Hate Asians And it is. There's not a joke in there. It's just don't like him. I don't like them right all the reasons he doesn't like them. And it's on Opie and Anthony and just him saying all the things you didn't know what it was the wild west back then for sure but he was the wild fucking West. Yeah but there was a witness. I remember I remember. This guy goes. This guy was on stage. He was a cheese. Dick you know the kind of guys you meet up MICS relate. Yeah no I know your friends told you should be a comic. You doing this to get pussy. But you do not care about comedy. And this guy was using the N. N. word like I mean just like not funny not enough no. It was his punchline but it was like it was clearly something a bunch of Italian guys might say in a car right as he was Italian right but and he goes I remember at one point. Someone's and this was like this was my maybe my I I look into like. Oh that's gross of like a like. Oh that you're seeing you got to have an act you can't just. Yeah Ah yes. He was on stage. The Comedy Club. I'm in the back like Patrice O'Neal before I was working the door. Patrice O'Neal probably ably fucking Ed Helms. Oddly enough like there was a group of comics that used to hang out back then and the guy goes on from From New York and someone goes where and he goes. Try to guess what and like he's trying to like live in the someone goes Chelsea and the guy was real. Quick what do I look like a faggot or a Mexican again and it was like Whoa and then he he stopped goes eight guys. I'm a comedian and we were like no guy. That's not common. You work. That does that doesn't comedy even Patrice. Who is at his best could be the horrible human being ads? Yeah really had a propensity for that. was like what the fuck now flipped. That guy comes up your wife's and ugly bitch like what the fuck did you just you say. Hey I'm a comedian. Flip that same night. There's a comic and I won't say his name because I think he's still doing comedy. Just stop it. You might have stopped. He's he's been doing in comedy for. He had been doing comedy for a long time. He was a Southie from Boston right. Yeah and we're in the back same group of people and I and the only reason I remember it was patrice is because Patrice from Boston Austin and this guy was healthy and there were four black chicks the front and and they were like And this was the difference the little subtle difference in her senior personality in it being gross and senior personality and and people forgiving it and going and they go and he's talking he's doing like Improv electronic ad-lib with the crowd and one of the boxers of front go You ever data blackjack. And he's like no I wouldn't mind data college And he just it's slow Al-Said said it with his boss. It's slipped out and everyone's like no one says that Ed but Patrice started laughing so in and he goes he doesn't know what he said I kept saying it over and over again every time. He said they'd be like Whoa. It'd be like I know. Can you imagine he's thinking they're laughing at a different thing. But it was an innocent suite of of like of like your intention came out it was. It's really fascinating part of a nuance of of comedy. I think sometimes it's lost is there isn't innocence. There is a heartfelt nece. There is an intent if intended to make you laugh as opposed to like the fuck. Do I look like you right until Patrice to me was like he was the like probably the funniest comedian to watch live. I've ever seen and he was a of cow work. Master like the top the top guy and that's This album that I have coming out his all. It's just crowd work. There's no jokes only knew about this and And it's it's basically like I was trying to figure out away to do a crowd or Cobham and like other people have done done really good ones. But they're they're difficult to bottle. The lightning of crowd work. You know big as a really good job. Berries special was great. Some of Paula. POUNDSTONE early. Stuff patrice I mean. He gets a nod a in the album. Actually I tell a story about him because when I open for him he would when I would come on stage stage our ditch reduce him and he would like sneer at me like he was disgusted every night and he would go. Look Moshe casher. Your name might as well be Jewish. Jewish which I always thought was like the funniest Anyway I was trying to figure out a way to do a crowd work album and make it feel a little less temporary a little less about what was in the room that night and so I basically. It's kind of a concept album. Warm asking the crowd like I asked him five specific questions. Like what's what's the you you know while the sexual experience you've ever had. What's the have you ever been arrested you ever? What's crazy night dress? You ever had really and so smart. And then they got the Mike people raise their hands and they will get the Mike and tell their story we would rift. I would sort of riff on their story and the end result is what you were saying like you miss a the the comedy album. What I like about the album? It and also whether it's kind of troublesome awesome about it in the Sirius. XM spotify like play. The track era is its best served as a full album led because it feels like a full piece the whole thing but there are some crazy stories in there that are life just so bizarre because any room full of people. There's at least twenty people with maybe not a machine in story but like their machines. Do you know what I mean. Everyone's got we did. We did a I never I was never. I never released this but we did a live I used to these talk shows. And it was ultimately ultimately was like three comics on stage. But it. It did digress into crowd. Work always right because you every comics like. I'm not going to do my act and we're not it's podcasts. Always a weird right so I said to this kid in the front row I said Doug is me Doug Benson Doug Stanhope in hope and I said Doug Stan. Stan hopes that I can guess anyone's age really good at that. Yeah and Doug Benson goes. That's so funny. I'm really good at guessing. Everyone's wait I can guess wait very easily have always been very oddly said that's so crazy. I can only guess everyone secret really i. I said Yeah I go. Let's try this just randomly pointed to guide in front row reuse as an example. Saying how old is he goes. Twenty five I go doug what anyway goes hundred eighty six and I said you hit him in your car drunk driving on the way home and have never told anyone about it and he goes I go how old are you and he goes. I'm twenty three and they're like oh how many way goes on one hundred sixty eight pounds like oh I go well. What what's your secret secret? And he goes. I don't drink and drive someone. Oh what was your secret. And he goes. What do you mean so Mr Speaker Boat? You told them. Tell me what your secret was. I swam better next time. He he goes. I lost my virginity my sixth grade teacher. I'll that's amazing and we're like wait. What the Fuck Ya yea lost my virginity to my daughter and immediately stanhood like you're onstage? Come on upstage so the shirt off and sits on stage and we interviewed him about this experience. It's and it was such a bizarre and he's like I never told anyone this. Anybody was so open that he liked told us her name. We found her on facebook. Oh my God and then and then Doug Stanhope just Doug Brain is like I would say I'm anti whatever the mainstream is. I always try to push back the other direction. Yeah Stanhope the hope is that it's in everyone's cheering at the sex story and he goes. You're cheering on a rape right. Just so I want you to know that we're clear that this is is a rape and imagine if this was a a young woman who had lost her virginity at twelve years old. We'll be cheering just as loud if her P. E. Teacher fucker in a closet. And everyone's like Wigan. I'm making a fun anymore. Like no no no cheer long. I just want you to know you cheering in a rape and it was. It was the but everyone does have have. They're crazy story the first dude we talked to the first taping first moment the Guy Started talking and he was basically told the story about how he came home. His Dad was a had visitation. He came home to his mom's on the weekend and he saw these like straps on the bed. And he comes in and he's like these are kind of weird ear they're like straps tight at the bedpost. And he's like he goes and he talks to his mother and there's a lot more to it but essentially she's like. Oh did I leave those on the bed and he comes to find out that while he's at his dad's house for the weekend she's operating the biggest Bordello in the in town out of his childhood bedroom room..

Patrice Patrice O'Neal Doug Benson Doug Stanhope New York Doug Stanhope patrice I Comedy Club rape Ed Helms San Francisco Doug Benson Shane Gillis Doug Stan Chapelle facebook Boston Paula Sirius Dick Chelsea
"moshe kasher" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

Bertcast's Podcast

10:28 min | 6 months ago

"moshe kasher" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

"I gotta be honest you my experience with girls has been super fucking eye opening at. What a simpleton fuck in misogynist I am Like what I I had never. I am not comfortable. Let me let me try to find the right words so it sounds okay. I had never experienced women being competitive I'd never never experienced that. I'd never experienced like A woman with game face on a woman fuck in taunting other women. I there's this girl I won't say her name I'll say it is a minor in a complex noisy eighteen. I'll say her name. She's a fucking bat like physics girl that goes to school with my underage daughter known. Her name is Julia. She played outdoors. You played on Georgia's softball team last year nick. Her name's Nick Nicole. I called her neck and she was. She was everything I was in sports meaning competitive. Yeah trash talkie flamboyant kboi isn't and fucking good and I had never seen that in a girl. It made me very uncomfortable and I didn't know how to I didn't know like how a a compartmentalize emotion 'cause I all of a sudden now I've never seen it disgruntled. They were down like fucking three runs. They have they have the bases loaded and his grow grow in the fucking fine in the championship. The state championships hits a fucking dinger off. The wall runs a triple runs in all the runs to tie. Hi The game and then she goes and grabs a handful of sand looks in the pitchers face and drops it like. It's just hard. I like then I was like but it's this is gonNA sound crazy. It's a girl doing it and I went. I'd never seen girls with the fucking doggy dog mentality. I've never. I never witnessed at a in sports in sports. I'd never seen it. That's what I do at the MIC cord. Whenever really good set all I look jeff playing the piano and I running or go? Oh but it was so fucking bad ass. But I'd never experienced that and I was like I wonder girls have that owner. The all girls Catholic High School. They if if your relatives opening it being an all female school makes that competitive spirit not get overshadowed by the weird gender dynamics when there's boy either that's interesting I I mean I love going to an all boys Catholic high school taught me taught me so much about who I was and and it it created my personality. It really did. I was fucking phony. You fucking whore shit eighth grader. WHO's a molestation hard for you? Though not not bad at all be shocked right. They smell weird but right other than it feels good. Feel the pleasure part of it short shirts or the Interesting I I I never thought about an all girl school. I'll tell you my first instinct is is. It would keep them out of trouble. It seems like I don't think so. No disagree no but you know what it is. If you like like Georgia's a little bit like goofball Georgia's not comic. Yes yes sure. We'll take care of her fucking loves comic books to This Day. What her and her friends had the goofy silly sense of humor that you get in the car with them and what making taking them laugh? You're just like like you're just listening as a dad going Mike. Qadam it man. These kids are not. They're not like the fast paced Kardashian and girls these are like fucking this is like Laura. Laptops surname overlap. CAST LAUREN LAP. Right just quirky funny person. Yeah she fucking amazing between two ferns. Oh she is amazed really. I didn't realize she's been movies. I just saw in that and I was like. She's fucking phenomenal. I didn't realize she'd been a lot of movies. I fucking know she's released. She's great but that kind of girl like the Chris. Kristen Schaal just quirky funny Georgia's right curb group of friends and But Yeah I love man I I my friend. I'm trying my friend's son to go to an all boys Catholic school put airs on your chest. I guess so yeah Put put a lot on your chest if you get the wrong priests. Yeah you gotta be careful. Yeah have you used your surfboard. No not even once no because I don't. I don't even know Vince on it. By the way there's cobwebs on it right now. They told me they're like do not use that. I use a foam board to it. We are you. How have you surfing lately? I've been going out of bunch really. Yeah it's a far drive for you. It is far. I guess you're closer but you know what it makes the whole day. The whole day is good so you just just you. Just you know what the other question I want to ask you just that but like so. How do you plan it? You get you get like a text from like Kurt or someone or works from Kurt or I got a group of comedian buddies. I go I go with a kid Andrew Mishaan and Curb ronal or you know. There's a group of us ago and then We'll go out. Just Pass Santa Monica to this beach called sunset. Usually or there's up to Ventura sometimes if symptoms down south to be called Santa. No Frei and I'm very bad that you would love coming with me. We've got to have a good time with me because I have. I have a legit week and a half off when we wrap this nuts nuts Salai. I have one week off after we wrap from the twenty second to like the twenty eighth. You'd enjoy where I go because I like it when it's a little chiller. Are you know tax time Yellen. Yeah I was just buying a phone board like one hundred bucks. Yeah Board from VOWEL SURF and having it. So so that if you go. Hey we're going I could just go all right. I'm going with you. Yeah you just call it the day. Get a wave storm. You know There at Costco their hundred dollars really. Yeah others another company called Almond Almond and they have a really cool looking if you care about cool looking one. I'm all about spending money. Yeah the the the that one's pretty cool and like listen if they're given you know they should give you one. They should probably give me one almond surfer the our series on anyway. No those are pretty cool looking but the wave storm is at Costco. And they're good enough or anybody okay. I'M GONNA I'M GONNA go grab one and have one so that next week. If you're going just text me and go. Hey It's Thursday. We're going out. Why would love to you? Know you're gonNA catch a really big one. Then it'd be like Moshe killed the machine most. That's another bad named for documentary when I get drummed out of comedy no no no we just get you back on drugs and alcohol and and I go with you on uh-huh we're both in wheelchairs. Now he thought it would be funny to go surfing together to bridge the alternative community and the Alpe community through the ocean. But it turns out that we've been breathing through a tube. Did you ever see the sketch of Of the guy. The guy in the wheelchair like Stephen Hawkins' teaching a class full of kids in a wheelchair. Like Stephen Hawking know as very funny he goes. Okay I would like to start today's lesson by And someone goes your stupid. And he goes okay. WHO said that and he goes the black? I what is that from. I don't know there was this funny. There's some something that made me laugh harder than HBO do when they had Aspen. HBO Did Sketches on TV. Show that they shot at Aspen. Oh well and it was really there was this was like all the sketch groups did one or some sketchy with their different sketchy. oops one that was. One of the sketches and other sketch group was a guy trying to catch up out of the container looked like he was jerking off roommates. Walk in putting fries and his come on. Come on. There's roommate's like shh. He's a baby. Then it comes out. He's like Oh this blood's always ends and his catch up in his room. Pass out the other one. Was this interview with this Canadian. Mountie who I to this day I have is the hardest. I've ever laughed. Random his HARA. You don't remember any of the any of the groups could be the biggest groups in the world right now. We would we would. This guy was so funny I ran up. That's all he kept saying and I was merely an were laughing. So fucking hard which are gonNA remember. Here's my the problem with Oh you know what I wanted to ask you get you out of here what I gotta play Damn Album Yeah. We're GONNA play the album. I want to talk about the talk about. I want to talk about how much I miss comedy albums. Yeah because grief specials are awesome but man specials don't lend themselves to being as funny as a comedy. Yeah I think so. That's interesting right because you're distracted by what you're watching what you're thinking about. You know I remember. I don't WanNa say who but there was a very famous comedian who I heard the album and I was like this is funny this before I did comedy was like this funny and then I saw the special like This this is on a like this like there's something about the physicality of the comedian. Where just the audio of the jokes? I thought it was funny and then watching it as like turned off by it I played the Mitch Hedberg for the girls. I was just watching one of his CONAN specials. I watched that I I read. That'd be the same way. I'm certain it was going by. And his last one year. where he says he would yet for heater? Scented Cologne design assist melt. Yeah I was thinking about doctor sholls the other day he went to college just to tell you the stand on a cushion. I would have thought that for. Mister Show's Yeah No. I was watching that clip and I was going. How how cool do you have to be? What do you think that's from the two thousand that clips gotta be? How cool do you have to be to be filming something twenty years ago and then you look cool still like such a hip hip guy? He was very cool and ended nails. And fucking his setup. That was what else I was impressive mumbling stumbling on jokes and still nailing them. You know I wouldn't windass. I hate sleeping. No I don't not on purpose. I meant to tell the joke correctly. I heard that he would take a huge judge sip of like a big Gulp of whiskey vodka right before he walked onstage because he liked the feeling of it hitting on adding yet I mean I mean yeah. He was a troubled fell of his album. Rate Patrice Patrice is. Last album was great. Because it's an album Mr Mr Mississippi is that Oh to yeah I always think I was talking about the other day. Like elephant in the room got really close but like the experience of seeing him and this live the way he operated with a crowd where he did Kroger and I got an and like seeing him in a small room to like..

Georgia Costco Stephen Hawkins Kurt Nick Nicole Julia Kristen Schaal Almond Almond HBO Catholic High School Patrice Patrice Aspen boys Catholic school Mitch Hedberg LAUREN LAP jeff Mr Mr Mississippi Mister Show
"moshe kasher" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

Bertcast's Podcast

01:57 min | 6 months ago

"moshe kasher" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

"Burt cast comes from turbotax. Thank you turbotax turbo taxes here to help this tax season by making tax filing easier for you they made it their mission to give you all the tools and advice you need to get your taxes done with confidence like making uploading your W. Two as easy as just taking a picture. Just use your phone or tablet to simply snap a picture of your W. Two to then watch your information appear in the right place in your tax return..

"moshe kasher" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

Bertcast's Podcast

07:09 min | 6 months ago

"moshe kasher" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

"Georgia loves the learning. She is someone who goes into a room. Sets upper notebooks loves organization. I I to this day. Do Not know how to study for something right. It's why I'm not an actor is I don't know how to memorize things like I don't know like I never learned how to memorize things. It's like an for me to memorize even like with my act. I can't write my act down. I've just got to do it until it feels right to do it that way. Yeah I can't go through and I can't go through and I'll tell a story and I record it and then I go through and try to jot notes to myself down of how I would do it again and I don't even know fuses uses me right. I'm the same way and I wish I was more disciplined. I wish I was a right. The joke down. I wish I wish I could sit down and write material just like now. I will write material about births man cave. Yeah I'm gonNA write I just. I'm not that good at that. I'm good at like I'm good at going. I by by the way. I'm not even good at recognizing when a joke shows up the other night I I'm going to try to figure out a joke about this but I got a guy. I did a thing with Joey and Tom. And we spoke tap. An ounce of marijuana okay and so it was the highest. I've ever been in my like so high. What life was turning off and then starting up and then turning off and starting up again and I was like okay? This is way too high. Yeah and I came home. And George had just got a learner's permit and their earn either at the door and they're like we're taking Georgia. Dr Cohen Dad like Where's your mom and my Leeann comes with us and I'm in the backseat? How did they all know you've smoked? Having ounce of marijuana no idea well wifey Yes excited glass of wine in my hand She was like Whoa House. Today's episode take your is. Okay do you want to just stay agnostic in the backseat. Also thing again. It's like okay murder the wine and then in the car our stuff is happening and it's unreal. I'm crying laughing so hard. But his Georgia's first time driving a car and an. I'm crying Liens I. This is is going in. Dad's act I can see and I didn't not see that until the end said that I went. She founded on my Chin One time during oral sex and and her first thing she was a special she cried and I said what. Are you going to talk about this on stage and I was like now I am right so funny. You're she's like a Ray Rice's wife. She's crying in an elevator going. Like why do I have to be in the act here. We go again. So did you decide not to that school. I think in the end and like we got a lot of feet because we talked about on our podcast. Natasha and I we do a podcast together. We'd give you did it And we talked about it in a lot of the former Waldorf students road us the other thing to understand about warmer Waldorf's we ask. Are there any listeners that went to Waldorf like. Tell us your experience. How was it because the whole idea is it's supposed to be teaching you how to be a a magical creative thinker that rather than teaching you a very narrow road education tease? You're really wide one. And then by in theory okay. By the time you get to the fifth grade it circles back. And you've got all the skills that you need. But it's all about like magical thinking creative. Thinking artistic thinking communion with the natural world and stuff like like that and then eventually it gets into academia when they get a little bit older the problem. Obviously if you're not that kind of thinker and they pull you out in third grade you go oh shit. This just isn't working for our kid in third grade. You're fucking illiterate. And then you get put into public school in their life fight. Isn't this child read. But she does know how to like so buttons uh-huh onto a Mossy appeared moss. Like you know what I mean like fucking illiterates through so the other fucking Berry.

Georgia Leeann Dr Cohen Dad marijuana Joey Ray Rice murder Berry Natasha George Tom
"moshe kasher" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

Bertcast's Podcast

15:33 min | 6 months ago

"moshe kasher" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

"I Love I love watching. The comedian Indian and going is talking about Maria Bamford. Oh my it's about Brent. Have you seen burnt Weissenbach. You know I know I've no Brent Brennan's such a fascinating guy. Because he has that same being that I wanNA talk to him. I feel like I'm talking to Brodie where I go. What is he talking with me? What's going grants like one of my best friend full disclosure closer but he is such a fucking killer onstage? He is so hilarious. But you look at him and you go. I also thought this watching the watchmen. You look at it and you go. I don't know what you're doing. Yes working it's worth. I don't know how to do it like when I see like you know I see bill burr. I go okay well. He's better than me but I know what he's doing like at least it feels the same river that I'm swimming. It I see somebody like Maria or Brent winebox these kinds of people I go I don't even know what river is a river. We Are we right now. Maria Bamford is Maria Bamford was the first first person to get me to look sideways. I was a comedy with Zach Galifianakis. Sure he was just so you talked him offstage any go on stage and then he would create videos. Do you remember that video of him just singing throughout Hollywood. No although I do think Zack is one of the funniest human beings he was if he is so fucking funny and then Maria Bamford was the next one and this is what I'm I recognize the power of the Internet I didn't know if it was true. She had got sent to Rehab in Minnesota and she had the Maria Bamford show because she was living in her mom's and it was was all done sideways on a bed of her doing characters. Do you remember that only God. It was the most genius thing I've ever seen an eye. You didn't know what was real. And what wasn't real the idea. Why should a nervous breakdown and they sent her back to Minnesota and she had gotten out of Rehab and she was living with her parents and she was doing a show out of for bedroom from her bed side? She was laying sideways on her bed and she was telling you the story of her day but doing all the characters and it was fucking next level. She said genius and I think the thing that saddens me sometimes when I I I mean ninety nine percent of this like comedy civil war is just like some idiot writing headline and then other idiots going large I read a headline must be true. But to the extent that we're like bifurcating as a community. It's sad add to me because like like I said when I came up when I started the whole thing was like are you funny and what I was always impressed with and I think this exists less today than it did. For years ago I was. I was always impressed with the idea that like at the at the same club. You'd have Ted Alexandro Nick. Dipaolo and like the COMEDIANS had this ability to even though you might be diametrically diametrically opposed in your viewpoints about the world about politics and stuff because we all cared about a third thing that was more important than any of the other things not more important in the world but more important in in our little closed circuit of culture which was are you funny that you could get along with people that were so different from you like an I think that as the world has gone on so to as the world of comedy like I think that people are drifting apart the scenes are drifting apart and and and people feel like adversaries not Not Co coworkers. And I hate that it bugs me I hate it and I've always been I'm friends with Everyb- I tried to be friends with everybody because I like everybody who's funny. Yeah I like ah just anyone. That's funny I like I don't I don't I don't know a lot of names. I don't know a lot of people and so I feel like I feel like people may know me and have an opinion on me but I don't and then I just show up. There's a guy I don't know his name and I'm Gonna I'm GONNA describe him. It's going to sound bad as I described him. You'll buy as I describing this way at the hook Juneau's money falling out of his his pockets for no real dark skin. I'm I'm almost certain he's autistic. And he's got renames names and more fun game though He's got three figures are and I apologize if he's not but I'm almost certain as and he had a he was one of those guys that I strive to be like hearts like. They write jokes that no one else is writing. Yeah he had a joke about. He called his friend up. See his friend wanted to see the place name of movie that he wasn't stretching to make it make it a own obscure reference. It was real like I. I AH friend of the this is a butterfly or some movie that I'd never heard about her job. And he said he couldn't go cause he was polishing his robot and he was like. Just tell me what does he ever will be with me Erik Charles Nielsen. That guy is so out of you guys so goddamn funny. And he's so different is definitely definitely. There is sit in the back and I go. I like MS memorized by it. I wrote a joke. I have maybe in my whole. Oh life of jokes. I got like three jokes. That are as good as his meaning. Authentic jokes no. No no no no his best jokes or when you go. That was nowhere near my joke. Book like What the job the robot? And he's like just tell me I don't WanNa go to movies with me. Obviously clearly you could get a small robot to Polish that robot and then in fact get a small robot bounds. I robot so fucking funny that I was like I wanna be. We like that like like Chapelle. Did it but Chapelle did it name more anymore. When we say to Bill Burr? I swim in the same river as you do. The Eric Charles Nelson is in a different aqueduct. Foreman right an and brody was in a different aqueduct and to clarify exactly exactly to clarify what I mean is like if I'm playing pickup ball at my local playground on playing the same game as Michael Jordan. Not Saying I'm about to. I'm about to step up on the court with them. No yeah no I'm looking and I'm like is this. Are we playing Lacrosse here. Like what the helmet hold on. What are we playing with his basketball sneakers? And this guy is stretching out his hamstring the But like like Chapelle was someone inspired me when I saw his is kicking the pussy joke and I went. Oh that's just the the brilliance of a joke the brilliance of joke is make them forget. Get what you're talking about. And then surprise him with the punch like. Oh Yeah but those guys and I I'm I'm always blown away like Maria bantered. Who I could? I could not no one's if they're doing rea- Bamford you know they're doing Maria Bamford right right she was she is so talented. Yeah and I think like I think ah people get so I my theory on it. Is that actually. COMEDIANS are incredibly incredibly insecure about their own about the legitimacy MRI of their own art form. Or they don't they don't actually believe in their heart of hearts that what they're doing is really an art form so they get so defensive over that that they say that's not what this says. That's not what this is. That's not what this is for me. It's like I'll just can't it. Just be everything. That's that's how I mean if you think about it. I think if we're going to talk about those two scenes again all comedy it was derived out of a hatred of regular comedy is an interesting idea. Okay okay like Janin's idea was those hacks over there those hacks or I'm I just heard her say that. What do you think the what we're calling? What does that derive from? I think it was just none of us working and we all felt we were talented. And we all all created podcasts. And just started doing podcasts. Not at all. It wasn't doing podcast. They were right we were just like we didn't have the br not I'm not gonNA say Brilliance. Because Edison it sounds sounds like I'm pandering but like the brilliance of like fucking Paula Tomkins and those guys to create history. Themed comedy part like we were like. That's not going to happen for us right. We're not GONNA have wanted it to happen. I know yeah like I'm not gonNA come up with wait. Don't tell me or all the things that they do. That are like on Comedy Bang World of Ear Wolf and like we were just like Yo we can get high and sit and talk for a while right and I think there was people going. Oh yeah I I've hard time following those two. Yeah but for me. It's like when I watch a movie like I don't watch. I don't watch lady bird and not saving private Ryan. I don't watch lady bird. I'm just saying and it comes to movies. I don't even know what Ladybird Isil immediately want to pass. You WanNa hit me. Just made a fist. The lady bird is it all but just the name what I'm about to give you the lady bird challenge. I bet you'd really love it because it's about it's about a teenage girl coming into into her own as a an in her identity. Because you've got daughters you actually would really like real. I think you'd like it I I I could be wrong in. The girls are watching lady bird. Yeah I I think you guys a Lovett Texas. My daughters were watching lady bird tonight. Watch are going to be like already saw dad. Not Interested. Coke showed my daughter's jaws last night. You know it's funny. I never seen jaws and I just I I did a podcast where you write a script to move never seen and the script that I wrote was the script for jaws that what's that podcast. It's called I've never seen it. That's fucking see. That's that's what I say when I go like. I'm super unoriginal. My podcast is just a derivation of Merrin and Joe's and just because I liked both those podcasts and I was like yeah I don't have to put too much work and I just WanNa bring them my friends bullshit for an effort plus by there. Are these high-concept podcasts. In the other the eye so pathetic even to the other. Because I don't consider it an other world for all comedy. It's all but doesn't kill Tony's and things like that those are high-concept podcast cast. I think I I've gone over to a pod to podcasts. Ear will yeah..

Maria Bamford bill burr Minnesota Chapelle Brent Brennan Brent rea- Bamford Zach Galifianakis Weissenbach Brodie Maria Maria bantered Ted Alexandro Lacrosse basketball Erik Charles Nielsen Hollywood Zack Eric Charles Nelson
"moshe kasher" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

Bertcast's Podcast

04:58 min | 6 months ago

"moshe kasher" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

"We sat in here talking about meek mill so so much where I was like like I did once again. And it's this. I wish I could come into the exact thing but the subconscious bias of me re reading his rap sheet off to Halston going. The guys had a lot of chances and then I found out. No he actually. Hasn't he's been on parole for six fucking years. So if you're ah off of one bullshit thing and I don't know the whole I'm just. I'm just paraphrasing if you're getting upset because you're like fuck this. I'm just paraphrasing. But the problem at hand wasn't wasn't just that he had been breaking his probation. The problem was that they were giving young. Black men longer probations than normal because that was away to keep them in the system. That was a way to keep them that way to keep them. What they thought was out of societies hair but it was just setting up to fail? Everyone's GonNa get in a little bit of trouble all in a ten year span and especially on breakfast for like fucking twelve years that and that would have never happened to me a one hundred percent I would. If I had gotten arrested I got in trouble. I would have gotten off bro within a year. Easy I'm certain. My Dad would my dad. This is this is white guys privilege told me right now so are but like my dad would have got it dismissed thrown out like my my dad's a lawyer. I would add fucking ten lawyers taking a look at this. No that's that's one hundred unit. Did you ever see the thirteenth documentary. I did I started watching it but I was like I was like. I don't think I'd get this. I don't know what it was talking about. And then and then someone told me I was like I think I thought thought it was something right. It is that idea that at a certain point. The criminal justice system sort of switched over from becoming in the seventies. Listen and to be fair the seventies Things were a little crazy. Crime was out of control. Nobody went to prison and crime was pretty insane and so two to fight that. That's not really what the thirteenth is about. That's much more ancient days but to fight that the criminal justice system started switching to this extremely severe Version of criminal justice where you went to prison automatically and quickly and not only. Did you go to prison. Automatically and quickly that you would get charged with like multiple multiple multiple charges. So so if you rob a liquor store back in the seventies or whatever you'd be charged with Larceny or whatever is that right is it larceny larceny and I had a dream. Someone stole my cell phone and I explained to them And he was offense this dream last night he was on my cellphone and he handed off. One of the security guards. Security are put in his pocket and I said it's in his pocket and the COP showed up and the COP said you know what he's a fence or why don't we just cut off his aunt. This kid was like Oh man and then we ended up cutting kids hand off in this my dream just get myself back. That's old school and then the cop was like well. It is eight hundred. That's that's grand larceny and I was like really so it is largely yet is of. You robbed a liquor store back in the day would have been charged with larceny or whatever but now if you rob a liquor store you're going to be charged with larceny arseny you'll be charged with You know brandishing a firearm. You'RE GONNA be charged with larceny with a with a deadly weapon larceny with a loaded weapon. You know it's like they they do this thing called charge stacking and and what the what the effect that has that you have so many charges the punishment for which is like five hundred years that you're always going to take a plea deal unless you're rich and you don't have to take a plea deal because you hire a super high powered lawyer who can get all these charges dismissed and dropped and eventually what happens is that the whole thing gets dismissed or the thing that you're being charged with is so minor that you're willing to go to trial with or accept a good plea bargain but what happens with all discharged acting especially when you've got overworked and uninterested district attorneys is that are the ones that are all you can afford if you come from an impoverished neighborhood. You've got your face and five hundred years. You've got a shitty tire district attorney. That's not really that motivated. Because he's got ninety ninety other cases he all he wants for you to take the plea is that you take the plea. Even if you didn't do anything wrong often. That happens you're accuses. You didn't even do. I mean that's the defacto defacto positioning. You're supposed to be innocent until proven guilty in this country. At least theoretically you're in you might be innocent you. You're facing five hundred years. You gotTa District Attorney is not GonNa fight for you. What would you do you take the fucking plea and do two years instead of eighty right? Who Years for years but patrol parole? And then you go in you do your two years you come out. You're more hardened criminal that when you entered in the first place you can't now you got a black mark on your on your resumes. You can't go out into the world and got to get a job. I mean would you hire a an ex-con maybe you're you're unusual next. Come working for me. Yeah but most people wouldn't see that as a huge red flag you see you go back into the impoverished neighborhood you came. I'm from now you've got a criminal record and you've been in prison for two years all worlds about this is how we create criminals. Not How we fight. Crime mid roll reads mid roll reads. What are these are mid roll reads? It's a new year the perfect opportunity to take your business to the next level by hiring the right people. Having the right people on your team make sure team that much better. I am surrounded.

COP Halston Ta District Attorney
"moshe kasher" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

Bertcast's Podcast

11:54 min | 6 months ago

"moshe kasher" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

"Is a very very easy perfect example And it's not an it's not a bad the angle when not to bring this up again. But when I got molly by Ari I immediately. I mean I'm talking immediately understood the plight of all the cosby victims immediately as well during being high. Note that when you when you got him that down. And that weekend I was in like low dopamine or Serotonin mode and I immediately empathize with every single one of them now previous to that. I had been someone that was like I you know I knew guilty but I was like I wonder how many I wonder. How many Li- like I wonder if Janice Dickinson was telling the truth? I wonder if there's a couple of jumped into end the second I got molly I was like I believe every single one of them. And it's so crazy that I did that like I do that with with everything anytime someone commits a crime. And so I if it's a mammoth woman automatically. I don't even notice I do it but I lean to the man size at right every time. That's interesting like like a the Scott. Peterson It was so clear he killed his wife but immediately I was like hold on hold almost like let's just you know and it's I think it's just not whatever it is a subconscious bias that you don't even know you do. I think you see it a lot on twitter where people side with what. They are real quick before they listened to the whole story. That's exactly what we were talking about earlier. Not to get into specifically what we're talking about but the idea of we're talking about rape culture if it's a is is it a thing versus is it not a thing such a fucking thing. The thing about Rx. I was thinking about this as we drove over the thing about rape culture and then you mentioned earlier also cancel L. Culture. Now the the the right I hate using terms like right and left because I feel like they're they're so in an inaccurate and they don't they don't some what's what reality -ality of but the the right would like to say rape culture is just a hysterical overblown thing. There's no such thing. The left heavy quotation marks. They WANNA say cancel. Culture doesn't exist because Who's really been everywhere? I don't know if you've heard this lately but that's a that's a talking point. Is that cancer. Culture doesn't exist. WHO's been canceled? Who who's who who's been actually cancelled? Were Billy Bush. I guess right. He'll be back or they you know they go like Louis. Louis still touring during or they go live like no one's really been canceled and it's such a it's such a pathetically a binary way to look at something like just like rape culture isn't just a person getting raped. It's also like ten thousand. Jokes are laughing at the expense of a rape victim or the way people talk about women or the way my boys boys are Blah Blah Blah same thing with cancer culture just because bill cosby's the only person that's for all intents and purposes been effectively fully cancelled that doesn't know one means. Ah Cancel. Culture is if you get cancer. You're literally never working again in this town. You have to open up. A you know a subway franchise in Bisbee Arizona. You know what I mean like. It's a spectrum just like rape culture or whatever just like white privilege or black privilege or economic privileges as everything's a spectrum and no one sees anything in spectral terms anymore. Everybody's nobody's life is a yes no and it's all trench warfare. It's all wore mortar. Too Hot or cold. Yeah and the reason that there's no water is because everybody's on one side of an argument. And they I think if I admit that this phenomenon exists that means that I have tacitly agreed with my I idealogical opponent. And that's the one thing I can't do. You can't do. I remember hearing here in Jamie Jamie Masada Milstein Jamie Gilson targeted rogan about rape culture. This must be like eight years ago and I remember being on the side of like Joan rogin going. There's no such thing as a and this is a long time ago it was not joe's. I'm almost for jobs opinions now. But if you you know whatever whatever you can go back and listen to the podcast but remember thinking rape culture like what the fuck is such a new term to me that you immediately go. What the fuck is that right? There's no jokes funny jokes funny. No Guys Advocating Rape Joan advocate rape but then we just talked about this but like there was the concept of of of What happened in In in revenge of the nerds right. That was okay and just the idea that at that movie green lights that behavior or in Sixteen candles when he goes take my check. Have Fun with her tonight. That that in this and then he fought her. She doesn't remember it all. She remembers who is good. Now they'll be boyfriend and girlfriend right. The idea that a lover can be so good at saks that the woman will go like you know what that was okay. I didn't know you but now that I know. is you write it. Look past the fact that you're a nerd. Everyone hates you and you just sexually assaulted me in a bounce else like it's so insane but that that is the culture they're talking about not they're not I don't think they're talking about lake. Take maybe they are like a rape joke. You know like but if it's I've heard rape jokes before that I that Sarah Silverman had sure I had a a ton and I laughed all the time and so like but it's so funny. I think the more were moving forward with what they call. Progress and progress has got to hurt at the beginning for work. That's exactly right. Burr is like right now. We are in the middle of this like birth in the middle of the birth. The baby's head is crowning and so it feels like just pain and chaos on every side. Yeah and you hope that eventually we'll get to the other side where people who have done things that that in like the positioning when somebody does something wrong now is either that person's a demon or that person's fully unjustly accused and is being vilified like that's the the binary black white this person's actually an angel that is being swallowed up by cancel culture or this person is an evil human being without value in without worth and no you know redemption has ever worthwhile from but the reality is the house listening to this thing and I really WanNa put my album notice getting. I was listening to this thing I was listening to this this the you would love it actually. It's A. It's a radio APP. Two part episode called in In the know and Oh from W. N. O. and it's all about consent and consent sent culture and there was a woman on there that her job is to. She's a counselor for men. Usually who have been accused of sexual who'll assault on college campuses. And she her job is to counsel them and re matriculate them into colleges to to get them Back into college after after they do their work of realizing what happened. In what what went. Wrong and Blah Blah Blah. She gets them back into college and she said that immediately people's I Gut reaction to her work is why would you put them back in college. That's where they offended. Why did they get to go back to college? And she was saying that. That question is inherently classist. Best because when you think about and I had never thought about this before but if you think about okay. There's a guy on a college campus. It gets accused of sexual assault. He gets kicked out of the school. And then your instinct linked is never back to school for you but that guy doesn't disappear. He doesn't stop being guy that WH- is in the world. So where does he go if he doesn't go back to college. What then he goes I McDonald's or he goes to home depot or he goes to he gets it he goes back into society? And so you're essentially saying like when you say never let those people back in college or essentially you're saying take the rapist and put them with the poor people. Let him go. Let him go rape the poor. Who Don't don't have him around are are upper crust people because these are these are bad people the so the work has to be done? The bad stuff can't happen to the wealthy right. It happened with the poor school with rough down there. Like she's the idea that once a person and his quote cancelled that they disappear. It's not true they're still alive. They're still in the world and if if we don't figure out this is what she was saying and I agree if we don't don't find some road to redemption some people are irredeemable. I'm not sure Cosby deserves a road to redemption. And I think at that age I don't think there is redemption. I don't think I think I I think what you would do. If you there's no redemption he's seventy seventy nine years old right. What are you going to just let them live in his mansion? And then there's there's no real punishment. Listen a serial serial rape were in a different category. Yes but if you are a person who is is you know victimized to someone and needs to find a way to do the work to admit what you did and then find a way back into society either. Do you find that way. And we all kind of agree on it or you don't and then what you have is a person who you you already have admitted committed that kind of assault who you're also saying to that person. Listen there's no way there's no way for you to ever redeem yourself. There's no punishment that's that will ever be good enough. But so that's fine if that's your position but then what happens to that person. They're still alive and now they're more isolated and demonize than ever. It's not like they just go and self heal and become a benign figure in society. Heidi now you've got a real problem on your hand tortured soul right. You're not allowed to have things in his start blaming other people and not and that same thing happens in in the prison industrial. Oh Complex Like that's exactly what happens. There's a young person who sixteen years old who robs the liquor store and they go to prison for robbing a liquor store and rightfully so. You should go to prison when you do when you commit a crime but then go to prison and you become institutionalized and you exit prison a much more hardened criminal than you were when you went in and now there's no hope for you and now what you've got is a person who goes from from liquor store robber to person robber to person killer to mass murderer to life in prison. It's I this is I'm certain is not going to be popular opinion but the win. The Ray rice stuff happened when I heard he hit his wife. I didn't I was one of the many who just was like I. Everyone gets an argument. I'm never hit my wife but I'm I'm sure it was something wasn't that bad. I'm sure it was. I'm sure they're making it. Were and then you see the punch. You're like okay. That was fucking horrific. Fuck and you're like that was one. I've never been hit like that in my life right and then I thought there were like he'll never play in the NFL again. And I was like good. Good like dot whatever. The fuck is wrong with him. That's fucking insane and then I thought I wonder how that affected his wife a wonder how that affected women in relationships with NFL players who are abusive. Who are getting hit? Who now are afraid aid to speak up? Because they're afraid they're lose their lifestyle that they've grown accustomed to where they go fuck. I don't want to say anything. He's an animal but at least he's my animal. I haven't fucking thing I have nice stuff and I don't want to go back to. I just don't want to go back to being poor like it's crazy it almost it. Almost it punished both of them as opposed to giving him a road redemption and her of voice or platform. You know. It's a complicated issue because it's like people that do things wrong. Do do society a stable society punishes people for doing wrong not only because things that are wrong deserve punishment but because the theory is anyway that that the the idea that wrong actions have consequences create stability in a society if you have a society where it says wrong. Action has no consequence. Then everybody will do anybody. Anybody will have the purge begins so you balance that with the fact that we've overcorrected towards punishment and this is beyond rape culture and cancel culture and outrage culture. This is into the criminal. Justice says elect to retire mill. Exactly the I..

rape bill cosby assault twitter dopamine L. Culture Janice Dickinson Ari I Who Peterson Scott Li Billy Bush Jamie Jamie Masada Milstein Ja NFL Bisbee Arizona Louis Joan rogin Sarah Silverman
"moshe kasher" Discussed on Dumb People Town

Dumb People Town

02:35 min | 7 months ago

"moshe kasher" Discussed on Dumb People Town

"Is to settle your back. I was like this is great that there's no line but my brain feels away rubbery in a way that it shouldn't end the line actually equalizers you going outside for different parts during the day like you shouldn't just get it all in thirty seconds also. This is not a thing that is healthy. It's funny it's like by by drinking this concentrated bit of toxic sludge. You can get the amount amount of toxic poisoning that you give them a full exposure turning the person who just said that thirty seconds. It's also says thirty seconds is good. That was influenced troy. Casey one Caliph over somewhere else of earth. Okay one California and this is what. The fire festival claims but chugging vitamin D not only helps her sleep but helps to regulate her hormones for the past few weeks I have included Sunning my bum and Yoni I don't know what that is it's a vagina. Okay okay apart of a giant contract into my daily rising routine. A woman who goes by Metaphysical Megan Onis were got adult men who are into my little ponies on his adult Jewish men. They're all Joanie and Lingam. Those are the Sanskrit words for vagina and Penis Penis. Yoni Vagina could be like the Sanskrit version of resulting. I'll to this joke. Do not give the likes any any this in this becomes our version of anything you only and Lingam are not only Hindu do words for genitalia. They've also become like they're hot buzzword in the like hippy. Burn an Randy Bernie. I don't know if you know this but motion i. This is what I almost hung out at burning man to is but we on the first year I went as I was driving up in the nine hour. Drive by myself motion eye for an hour and a half just talked to each other as we both drove up there out there. It's GonNa be this year. I probably won't really yeah. Are you taking out. I always hang out with comedians. Make time for it. I think rory rory and I are going Dave. Holmes is going to be going with Dave. I've been twenty times. Twenty never gotten messed up on. I've never been fucked and it hasn't changed since All Twenty Times how the hundred percent. It's Moshe what is it not clip all right and hot clip huge..

Yoni Vagina rory rory Dave Megan Onis Randy Bernie Yoni I Joanie troy Casey Moshe Holmes California
"moshe kasher" Discussed on Dumb People Town

Dumb People Town

04:45 min | 7 months ago

"moshe kasher" Discussed on Dumb People Town

"D. Ah analyzed. The gifts received their soaking up some raise. where the sun don't shine the hottest trend gripping wellness diehards is tanning there cans or para neom Sunning as influences influencers are calling it now? What if you go in a tanning bed and try this? The artificially should make special like the design where there's a area for your legs to pop into you can just bed stirrups. Yeah that's nice. What happened by the way in the last five to ten years? I feel like every person who was like a alcoholic unemployed loser now is like a spiritual wellness guru on instagram. I don't understand the switch that's occurred. You got clean something else. They got addicted telling people what to do. Because I've wondered in the last fifteen years. Have you realized how much as a society we've gotten rid of tanning tanning salons and wet t shirt contest through over the early two thousands. It was like where are you from in Oakland. There wasn't a lot of wet t shirt contest. Opening opening Solano Girls Gone Wild and all that shit in bars would have these all time and now they just no one's doing that anymore and I'm I'm that that's fine. I'm glad you want it to be on that. Yeah Yeah Yeah. Yeah and tanning salons which is what everybody was saying. There's always a Hollywood Tan. Dan like everywhere everywhere not he likes so anymore. I think that the that the Wanting celebration of sexuality has sort of gone out the window as would become a more politically tense. You think yeah I think so and I actually think people are putting that now instead of at bars during contests at at on instagram. Putting all of that is online exactly that I can curate thought. That's actually a pub- that I'm opening Boston University in the quad. We just opened up at all. Just a place you can instagram. Your by paying and then also so we'll get a check out books. Yeah and also. There's a bar where you can sit on a stool and you can pull out a telescoping tanning light and just put it and put it tells deployer. It's the laser printer. That's also tanning pointer in a mere thirty seconds of sunlight on your butthole your see more energy from this electric node. Then you would an entire day being outside with your clothes on says influencer and obvious scientists Rah of earth on Instagram of her. uh-huh okay big fat Jewish of wellness anything because they stole it viral video that has racked up more than thirty five thousand thousand views. He gestures admiral video nowadays. Thirty thousand dollars. Yeah gestures towards knowing that there's literally virus on his asshole trying to cure with sunlight light. He's trying to burn it off off. He gestures towards the Sun as three naked men. Lie Down Point to their backsides point their backsides to the sky and make sounds of pleasure. uh-huh that's an add on that. Did you need gilding. The Lily as it were rather brown Lil Browning Browning the parent hand if you will. Robert has also posted a step by step by step son worship exercise pulled by or from the tau of sexology. The book of Infinite Wisdom by Dr Steven t Chang and says the practice can help keep the area healthy free of germs. I just don't think that's true. I don't Jon on Ham said very famously on on. SNL You gotTa Wash. I washed they ass. You gotta shake and raw averse. Aren't the the only ones either under influencers appear to be just as inspired to catch some ultraviolet rays thirty seconds of direct sunlight injection to the anal orifice zoo of of being outside in the sun all day. That's bad that's bad being bad right by the way like just the fact that you now don't have to go Outside that also is bad too like there is like so when Jan I one time went to a friend of ours like worked for six flags like six flags taint. And he's like there's an employee have we on the thing I don't know who's an employee night at six flags out here Magic Mountain okay nearby us go out only going to be two thousand people in the whole park. You can ride whenever you want so triple eight nine. Get Okay so we would get on a rollercoaster. You come right back and you get on that same because it is the best but it's true. Yeah you're realized the line.

six flags Lil Browning Browning Dan Boston University Oakland Hollywood Tan Dr Steven t Chang SNL Magic Mountain Robert Ta Wash Jon Ham
"moshe kasher" Discussed on Dumb People Town

Dumb People Town

04:45 min | 7 months ago

"moshe kasher" Discussed on Dumb People Town

"D. Ah analyzed. The gifts received their soaking up some raise. where the sun don't shine the hottest trend gripping wellness diehards is tanning there cans or para neom Sunning as influences influencers are calling it now? What if you go in a tanning bed and try this? The artificially should make special like the design where there's a area for your legs to pop into you can just bed stirrups. Yeah that's nice. What happened by the way in the last five to ten years? I feel like every person who was like a alcoholic unemployed loser now is like a spiritual wellness guru on instagram. I don't understand the switch that's occurred. You got clean something else. They got addicted telling people what to do. Because I've wondered in the last fifteen years. Have you realized how much as a society we've gotten rid of tanning tanning salons and wet t shirt contest through over the early two thousands. It was like where are you from in Oakland. There wasn't a lot of wet t shirt contest. Opening opening Solano Girls Gone Wild and all that shit in bars would have these all time and now they just no one's doing that anymore and I'm I'm that that's fine. I'm glad you want it to be on that. Yeah Yeah Yeah. Yeah and tanning salons which is what everybody was saying. There's always a Hollywood Tan. Dan like everywhere everywhere not he likes so anymore. I think that the that the Wanting celebration of sexuality has sort of gone out the window as would become a more politically tense. You think yeah I think so and I actually think people are putting that now instead of at bars during contests at at on instagram. Putting all of that is online exactly that I can curate thought. That's actually a pub- that I'm opening Boston University in the quad. We just opened up at all. Just a place you can instagram. Your by paying and then also so we'll get a check out books. Yeah and also. There's a bar where you can sit on a stool and you can pull out a telescoping tanning light and just put it and put it tells deployer. It's the laser printer. That's also tanning pointer in a mere thirty seconds of sunlight on your butthole your see more energy from this electric node. Then you would an entire day being outside with your clothes on says influencer and obvious scientists Rah of earth on Instagram of her. uh-huh okay big fat Jewish of wellness anything because they stole it viral video that has racked up more than thirty five thousand thousand views. He gestures admiral video nowadays. Thirty thousand dollars. Yeah gestures towards knowing that there's literally virus on his asshole trying to cure with sunlight light. He's trying to burn it off off. He gestures towards the Sun as three naked men. Lie Down Point to their backsides point their backsides to the sky and make sounds of pleasure. uh-huh that's an add on that. Did you need gilding. The Lily as it were rather brown Lil Browning Browning the parent hand if you will. Robert has also posted a step by step by step son worship exercise pulled by or from the tau of sexology. The book of Infinite Wisdom by Dr Steven t Chang and says the practice can help keep the area healthy free of germs. I just don't think that's true. I don't Jon on Ham said very famously on on. SNL You gotTa Wash. I washed they ass. You gotta shake and raw averse. Aren't the the only ones either under influencers appear to be just as inspired to catch some ultraviolet rays thirty seconds of direct sunlight injection to the anal orifice zoo of of being outside in the sun all day. That's bad that's bad being bad right by the way like just the fact that you now don't have to go Outside that also is bad too like there is like so when Jan I one time went to a friend of ours like worked for six flags like six flags taint. And he's like there's an employee have we on the thing I don't know who's an employee night at six flags out here Magic Mountain okay nearby us go out only going to be two thousand people in the whole park. You can ride whenever you want so triple eight nine. Get Okay so we would get on a rollercoaster. You come right back and you get on that same because it is the best but it's true. Yeah you're realized the line.

six flags Lil Browning Browning Dan Boston University Oakland Hollywood Tan Dr Steven t Chang SNL Magic Mountain Robert Ta Wash Jon Ham
"moshe kasher" Discussed on Dumb People Town

Dumb People Town

04:45 min | 7 months ago

"moshe kasher" Discussed on Dumb People Town

"D. Ah analyzed. The gifts received their soaking up some raise. where the sun don't shine the hottest trend gripping wellness diehards is tanning there cans or para neom Sunning as influences influencers are calling it now? What if you go in a tanning bed and try this? The artificially should make special like the design where there's a area for your legs to pop into you can just bed stirrups. Yeah that's nice. What happened by the way in the last five to ten years? I feel like every person who was like a alcoholic unemployed loser now is like a spiritual wellness guru on instagram. I don't understand the switch that's occurred. You got clean something else. They got addicted telling people what to do. Because I've wondered in the last fifteen years. Have you realized how much as a society we've gotten rid of tanning tanning salons and wet t shirt contest through over the early two thousands. It was like where are you from in Oakland. There wasn't a lot of wet t shirt contest. Opening opening Solano Girls Gone Wild and all that shit in bars would have these all time and now they just no one's doing that anymore and I'm I'm that that's fine. I'm glad you want it to be on that. Yeah Yeah Yeah. Yeah and tanning salons which is what everybody was saying. There's always a Hollywood Tan. Dan like everywhere everywhere not he likes so anymore. I think that the that the Wanting celebration of sexuality has sort of gone out the window as would become a more politically tense. You think yeah I think so and I actually think people are putting that now instead of at bars during contests at at on instagram. Putting all of that is online exactly that I can curate thought. That's actually a pub- that I'm opening Boston University in the quad. We just opened up at all. Just a place you can instagram. Your by paying and then also so we'll get a check out books. Yeah and also. There's a bar where you can sit on a stool and you can pull out a telescoping tanning light and just put it and put it tells deployer. It's the laser printer. That's also tanning pointer in a mere thirty seconds of sunlight on your butthole your see more energy from this electric node. Then you would an entire day being outside with your clothes on says influencer and obvious scientists Rah of earth on Instagram of her. uh-huh okay big fat Jewish of wellness anything because they stole it viral video that has racked up more than thirty five thousand thousand views. He gestures admiral video nowadays. Thirty thousand dollars. Yeah gestures towards knowing that there's literally virus on his asshole trying to cure with sunlight light. He's trying to burn it off off. He gestures towards the Sun as three naked men. Lie Down Point to their backsides point their backsides to the sky and make sounds of pleasure. uh-huh that's an add on that. Did you need gilding. The Lily as it were rather brown Lil Browning Browning the parent hand if you will. Robert has also posted a step by step by step son worship exercise pulled by or from the tau of sexology. The book of Infinite Wisdom by Dr Steven t Chang and says the practice can help keep the area healthy free of germs. I just don't think that's true. I don't Jon on Ham said very famously on on. SNL You gotTa Wash. I washed they ass. You gotta shake and raw averse. Aren't the the only ones either under influencers appear to be just as inspired to catch some ultraviolet rays thirty seconds of direct sunlight injection to the anal orifice zoo of of being outside in the sun all day. That's bad that's bad being bad right by the way like just the fact that you now don't have to go Outside that also is bad too like there is like so when Jan I one time went to a friend of ours like worked for six flags like six flags taint. And he's like there's an employee have we on the thing I don't know who's an employee night at six flags out here Magic Mountain okay nearby us go out only going to be two thousand people in the whole park. You can ride whenever you want so triple eight nine. Get Okay so we would get on a rollercoaster. You come right back and you get on that same because it is the best but it's true. Yeah you're realized the line.

six flags Lil Browning Browning Dan Boston University Oakland Hollywood Tan Dr Steven t Chang SNL Magic Mountain Robert Ta Wash Jon Ham
"moshe kasher" Discussed on Dumb People Town

Dumb People Town

05:04 min | 7 months ago

"moshe kasher" Discussed on Dumb People Town

"To these shows and it's all dudes totally but here's the way you will woman is not with a car. It's not what the donor you it's so simple. You stand on a street corner when she walks by you say. Hey the hunt down line shit that clue you trust you. Fear I opened. I opened. Many Mars called big daddy's. You know why they call me big M. I. N.. It On trustworthy. I've been hurt before I didn't have a strong male by mouth uh-huh so self deprecating catcalls could be the new the new thing. Can you WanNa non-confidence me words. Because it doesn't feel like baby smile or don't smile I understand why would make a woman smile. I'm the lonely I'm going to be. Hey when you walk away I'm GonNa think about how sad I am. Okay I would imagine that conversation going just for drive. It has got to pick some cool. If I take your truck. Yeah right yeah just please. Don't try to impress girls with donuts. This time quote okay. I'm good I was trying to impress girls girls walking in the intersection. That's also great. Oh he'll them so so you ran me over. That don't impress. Asked me much kind of making an impression on them literally on their chests Torres. Bill this all started with their walking the groceries. Like hey you wanna see something. Have you ever been run over anyone here. I've been run over. My grandma ran my foot over and she ran Dan she pulled up on my foot and it stopped on top of my foot and I started screaming going grandma grandma. You're on my foot help. And she goes. I go move the car harsh. She goes which way forward or backward I do and you're already talking loud because both your parents are hearing impaired so the grandparents but You know actually heard less than you're speaking of car issues that same grandma in the nineteen eighty nine GIGANTIC LOMA PRIETA earthquake. My grandma lived in a high rise apartment building that had a parking lot underneath. It wasn't like a a part of the building it was like there were pylons so it was open kindness. Yes she when the building started. Shaking ran downstairs to save her nineteen Nineteen eighty eight Toyota cameras just in case the whole building was forced to go down there and car Taurus. Taurus okay. So the guy walks out. What are you doing trying to impress? Recession tourists was also said to have asked the deputy. Please don't toe my wife's truck. Aw Come I I. That doesn't impress girls saying please to cops works. Is that true yes. I've got two tickets. You're you're an African American male. Yeah Yeah Okay. I feel like the police has a diminishing return. Worst tours was jailed on charges. Reckless driving and driving without a license just keeps getting better licensed to ill boy. I'm going to ask you gotTA listen. You don't have a license and just just whatever you do. Do not like make a scene with no license. You take your wife's truck to do donuts in the middle of an intersection idea. Like I'll probably get away with this I'll ask you guys and then we'll get out of the second story. How old he Omar Omar? Who did his trucks is? His wife's truck donuts in the intersection to impress girls. Outside of crazy volt at eleven thirty PM setting this up to make he must be older than we think. You don't know asks the dodgers give you all the facts. I must say twenty eight twenty eight years old mush. That's what I was going in the same direction. They've been married buried since they were seventeen. The eleven year marriage. I'm GonNa say Twenty six God I was GonNa say twenty nine I'M GONNA I'm not gonNA come off like that I'm GonNa say Twenty Six twenty six. I would say thirty one to one dollar. It's not what he's doing. Okay ready the man. What is his name? Is Omar Omar Torres Morris. Marcus assist Omar Torres who sure pissed off. His wife been impressed. Some women definitely chances in our towns and we'll go onto the next door is thirty four years old. Oh same ballpark. Yes he sees old enough to know better but not a two old rake in. Do donuts all right story down in the books. Can you give us a little teaser. What we're GONNA see in the final segment? There's a new fat in this world and it's crazy I can't wait to find out Moshe cashiers with us it's Wbz town. Don't go nowhere or go somewhere but don't go.

Omar Omar Torres Morris Omar Omar dodgers Omar Torres Toyota Wbz Bill Dan Marcus
Brett's How I Found The Grateful Dead Story

Hound Tall with Moshe Kasher

05:19 min | 2 years ago

Brett's How I Found The Grateful Dead Story

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