17 Burst results for "More Than Once"
Homo Sapiens
"more than once" Discussed on Homo Sapiens
"To learn and <Speech_Female> get it right and <Speech_Female> I'm like, <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Male> this is amazing. Your mom <Speech_Male> needs to hold seminars. <Speech_Male> She does. <Speech_Male> I think she <Speech_Male> does. <SpeakerChange> Yeah, <Speech_Male> because <Speech_Male> it's really rare <Speech_Male> to hear that. And <Speech_Male> what <Speech_Male> wonderful person <Speech_Male> she is <SpeakerChange> as a result. <Speech_Male> And she's like a 6 year <Speech_Female> old lady <Speech_Female> who's just like, you <Speech_Female> know, walking <Speech_Female> family dog <Speech_Female> and hanging <Speech_Female> out. And <Speech_Female> then <Speech_Female> coming out with all of this <Speech_Female> <SpeakerChange> incredible <Speech_Male> stuff. <Speech_Male> Where do you think that comes <Speech_Male> from in her? <Speech_Female> I think it <SpeakerChange> comes from <Speech_Female> the fact that she <Speech_Female> has always <Speech_Female> been a bit of a rebel. <Speech_Female> She was <Speech_Female> always the kind of person <Speech_Female> who would question <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> authority around <Speech_Female> her. And <Speech_Female> so when she <Speech_Female> now even now <Speech_Female> is being told, <Speech_Female> this is <Speech_Female> this. She's <Speech_Female> going to question it and she's <Speech_Female> going to say, <Speech_Female> you know. <Speech_Female> Are you telling me the <Speech_Female> truth or do I need to <Speech_Female> interrogate this more because <Speech_Female> it seems like <Speech_Female> it's not fair <Speech_Female> what you're saying? <Speech_Female> It comes from the <Speech_Female> fundamental belief that <Speech_Female> like be <Speech_Female> nice to people <Speech_Female> and <Speech_Female> don't <Speech_Female> do any harm to anyone, <Speech_Male> you know? <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Male> And also analyze <Speech_Male> things on your own terms, <Speech_Male> like don't just <Speech_Male> accept the truth. <Speech_Male> <Speech_Male> And I think <Speech_Male> that that <Silence> is part <Speech_Male> of like, you know, when <Speech_Male> we're trying to understand <Speech_Male> people who come <Speech_Male> from the other side, <Speech_Male> you know, the transphobes and <Speech_Male> all that, which <Speech_Male> I am obsessed with <Speech_Male> understanding because I think if you <Speech_Male> could understand you might be able to <Speech_Male> solve it, <Speech_Male> I think <Speech_Male> that there is a lot <Speech_Male> of people who <Speech_Male> don't question anything. <Speech_Male> <Speech_Male> This is <Speech_Male> too broad a statement actually. <Speech_Male> But <Speech_Male> there's a lot of <Speech_Male> accepting <Speech_Male> the status quo <Speech_Male> without <Speech_Male> analysis <Speech_Male> that leads to <Speech_Male> a lot of <Speech_Male> hurt, actually. <Speech_Male> When <Silence> <Speech_Male> it's <Speech_Male> not necessarily. <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Female> And I think with that <Speech_Female> point on transphobes, <Speech_Female> like I think, <Silence> <Speech_Female> I don't think anybody is <Speech_Female> born transphobic <Speech_Female> and starts off that <Speech_Female> way, but <Speech_Female> I think <Silence> fear <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> is a really <Speech_Female> powerful emotion <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> and when people <Speech_Female> are <Speech_Female> in fear <Speech_Female> of something <Speech_Female> or someone, <Speech_Female> <Silence> it <Speech_Female> causes them <SpeakerChange> not to <Speech_Female> necessarily always <Speech_Female> behave most <Speech_Female> rationally, so when <Speech_Female> people are told to <Speech_Female> be fearful <Speech_Female> of a particular <Speech_Female> type of person, <Speech_Female> they don't necessarily <Speech_Female> always stop and <Speech_Female> think to <Speech_Female> interrogate what they're <Speech_Female> being told, they may be <Speech_Female> just <Speech_Female> respond based <Speech_Female> on what they've <Speech_Female> got right in front of them. <Speech_Female> And I think we <Speech_Female> saw that happen <Speech_Female> with <Speech_Female> particularly <Speech_Female> gay men in <Speech_Female> the 80s. <Speech_Female> We see it happen all <Speech_Female> the time with <Speech_Female> refugees <Speech_Female> and migrants <Speech_Female> and asylum seekers <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> and we see it happen <Speech_Female> with trans people. <Speech_Female> And it's this kind of, <Speech_Female> in <Speech_Female> my view, fear of <Speech_Female> something <Speech_Female> different, <Speech_Female> someone <Speech_Female> that people don't necessarily <Speech_Female> understand, <Speech_Female> because it <Speech_Female> looks different, it sounds <Speech_Female> different. It's <Speech_Female> going against the <Speech_Female> status quo. <Speech_Music_Male> <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Music_Male> <Advertisement> That's the end of part one, <Speech_Music_Male> <Advertisement> loving this chart. <Speech_Music_Male> We're gassing and we're <Speech_Music_Male> having a lovely time. <Speech_Music_Male> So <Speech_Music_Male> that's that part <Speech_Music_Male> two is on the <SpeakerChange> feet, go <Speech_Music_Male> <Advertisement> get it. <Music> <Speech_Music_Male> <Speech_Music_Male> Powered <Speech_Music_Male> by spirit <Speech_Music_Male> studios.
Homo Sapiens
"more than once" Discussed on Homo Sapiens
"But we had these sort of expectations for what your life would be like and you coming out to us makes it seem like you would then be put in a world where there is more sort of bigotry and there is more homophobia and biphobia that you would have to put up with and we didn't want you to have to deal with that. But they've been incredibly supportive and when I came out as non binary and I told them about top surgery, they were like, okay, amazing. Which surgeon do you want to go with? Where is the surgery? They were like looking up all of the reviews. They have been absolutely incredible. And in recovery, I don't know how much you know about top surgery, but when you have the surgery, your whole upper body gets affected, 'cause everything's connected. So you can't do a whole lot. And that includes like making a cup of tea or making dinner or whatever. So while I was recovering, I was saying to my mom, I was texting, and I was like, can I have a cup of tea, please? And she'd be like, there, she'd bring me extra cookies. Amazing. An absolute star. That's incredible for, you know, there's so many things about that whole little potted history that is amazing. Because the fact that your parents could articulate, hey, I'm sorry, we didn't react right in the first place, but here's why. I mean, a lot of people could really do with a bit more of that. And a lot of parents to understand how healing that is. I don't need you to rewrite the past. I just need you to acknowledge that perhaps it wasn't handled well at the time and that's that. Let's move on, you know? Yeah, like make it right going forward rather than pretend you didn't happen. People will defend to they will just defend defender fan because they can't go back in a time machine. But that doesn't matter. We just want to hear. It was handled badly. And here's how it's going to be handled going forward. Yeah. So what was really gutting was in 20 20, my mom wanted to go to pride with me because it would have been like a certain number of years since I'd come out and I was like, 2019, I was like, mom, you should come, you should come and she was like, no, we do it for this anniversary of your coming out. And then the pandemic happened and all pride events were canceled. So she owes me. She owes me one big queer pride. So do you know what prior to go to? Well, I think it would be London pride because we're in London. But probably sort of one of the less crowded elements of London pride, because if you're watching the parade, it can be packed. So probably like hang out by Soho square where there's like a nice stage with people performing and like have a drink on the side of the grass or something. I'm coming to find you to meet your mother at the next pride because that is a cool mom. Yeah, she's literally my hero. She's. Oh, really? She's amazing, yeah. Because of the way she handled your queerness or just life in general. She's like all round pretty cool, but the way that she has handled my queerness. I mean, what you said about making assumptions about South Asian people and queerness
Homo Sapiens
"more than once" Discussed on Homo Sapiens
"Tell me about your childhood. Yeah, so I was like a little tomboy. I have a big brother who I used to follow around like a shadow and try and copy in every single way until I became cooler than him. And where was this? This was in northwest London in harrow. People know it and think it's fancy because there's a very posh school there. It's not fancy. But I used to follow him around and I used to I used to like go to football training with him and until I was sort of ten 11 and got told, you know, I'm not allowed to play football with the boys anymore or whatever. There was no way. So you were into football, that was what I was wondering. Yeah, it was hugely into football and then my parents sort of tried to look at where I could go and play football when there was nothing nearby, so it was sort of a passion that I had for a while. Gave up on, I was at an all girls school and tried to create a football club there and I convinced one of the science teachers to spend his lunch breaks sat out in the middle of the grassy field for us to play football and I think me and three other people showed up so not enough people for 5 a side. And we've all come out since. Really, that's hilarious. So that's fun. And then, you know, my footballing career didn't take off. I'm not Beth made or Jill Scott. But it's something that I've later in life, so the last couple of years joined a local grassroots team near me in Hackney.
Homo Sapiens
"more than once" Discussed on Homo Sapiens
"And you sort of saw that where I lived in Clapton, like all those cafes went from hungover people to people with children. And it's allegedly a progressive place. You know, like it's got its own problems of gentrification and we're talking about certain kinds of people and all this stuff. But you would think it was quite open minded. I think I saw 6 dance in the whole time I lived there, looking, doing primary care work. It was all moms, and it was all, you know, moms with buggies and you know, and I was talking to someone about this the other day that that's nobody's fault in a way. It's just that it's child care and women and the workplace and all of that is a really complex complex issue. This person I was talking to was like saying it's a conspiracy to keep women out of the workplace because they won't make working hours match with hours around having kids. And in the early months of having a kid, if a person is breastfeeding, that person would be the person who's at home, you know? Yeah, and I think the way that society has been built around this kind of idea that looking after children is what women do. It kind of has resulted in that being sort of easier for women because of things like the changing stations being in women's bathrooms. And things like that, but also like if you look at how things are legislated in terms of maternity and paternity care, we're still sort of playing catch up with the law, so I mean, I don't necessarily believe it's this horrible evil conspiracy where there are people at the top trying to keep women out of the workplace. But I do think that because the way our laws work is that they sort of build upon each other. We never sort of wipe the whole whiteboard clean and start from scratch. We're still playing catch up and trying to write some of the wrongs, or not even wrongs, but just some of the missteps that were made. The sort of discrepancies between yeah, and I think a lot of workplaces will still not offer equal maternity and paternity leave and pay and things like that. And there's no legal requirement for them to at the moment. It's sort of an individual basis, but in sort of like what has to happen to workplaces have to just take the initiative and do it themselves or does it need to be legislated? I mean, when you look at how parliament operates, who was that MP who'd recently had a baby and had to go and vote on something and oh yes.
Homo Sapiens
"more than once" Discussed on Homo Sapiens
"The bad stuff. Yeah, because you don't want I'm pleased you said that because I feel the same of this for this podcast is like, I don't want to play into the hands of news editors and just constantly be arguing on behalf of, you know, there's a place for that absolutely, but we are also just people who want to have a chat. Yeah. And I don't have to be on the news advocating for myself or someone else from the community 24/7. They put us in that role and whenever you see a queer person on any current first show, they're advocating for rights. Fantastic that they're doing that. But we need to be seeing an expanded version of that with just talking about accepted truths like trans women are women. Let's now let's carry on, you know? It's so nice that there are outlets doing. I think also when you think about more of the mainstream news, like I want to be in a world where eventually we get LGBTQ+ people who aren't just on the TV to talk about LGBTQ+ issues, like why can't why can't they talk about what they're outside of that? Like whether that's, I don't know anything, but we can put the world to rights tomorrow, I reckon. Yeah. Some conversations put a spring in your step and that's one of them. For me, love shivani. Speaking of which, next week, another conversation that puts spring in my step. We're talking to the TV vet doctor James Greenwood. I would call it more of an Instagram vet myself. He's a superstar vet. He's on Instagram at doctor James Greenwood, I think is the handle handle as they say. I always feel like I'm playing Warcraft when I say things like that. Am I wrong? I didn't tell me. James actually started out on that TV show pottery throwdown. But it's also vet and is now it does BBC morning live every day. Or at least some days. And he is a wonderful man, and learning all about his story is really fascinating about being a gay man, growing up, gay men in Yorkshire, growing up wanting to become a vet, all the intricacies, actually really links to being gay, interestingly enough. And I think it will really resonate with you all. So tune in for that next week, let us know what you thought of today's conversation. Tell us evolving coming out stories. Let's hear them. Hello at homo sapiens podcast dot com at homo sapiens on Instagram. This has been wonderful. You've been wonderful. I'm going to go and now resume my horizontal position on the safer with the box of celebrations resting on my chest. And everybody, please write in and tell me your New Year's Eve plans. If someone knows how to crack New Year's Eve, I am all ears as they say. Let me know, let me know, let me know in times 1000. Hello at homo sapiens podcast dot com. If we don't speak before then as they say, have a brilliant year, happy new year to you all and sending you a ton of love. Bye for now. Powered by spirit shootings.
Homo Sapiens
"more than once" Discussed on Homo Sapiens
"But I think it's really interesting how we say boys are socialized to like football, for example. But then we're talking about it could be an identifier of a queer woman if that queer woman likes football. It's an interests me that we are quite different things, aren't they? Yeah, and I think it's one of those things that the culture and the society that you're brought up in not just the gender or the sex that you're assigned at birth. But the way that people around you interact with you as well and how much they socialise you down that path. But then also how much accessibility you have to certain things. It's a very interesting question. But good. I think it's got something to do with the fact that largely football in this case for boys is something that is sort of like an assumption and the way you sport is at the moment sadly is that it's quite it leans towards sort of like dominant personalities and aggression and that sort of fighting spirit that need to win. Which is things that we associate with sort of masculinity. And with boys, when they sort of pop out of the womb, there's automatically those assumptions that are made about them. So when that child is like three or four and learns to toggle about and you can put a ball in front of them, the assumption is there that they will go on to do more sport in general because they have this like the assumption is it's like a genetic in built hardwired thing for macho men to like sport. And for women it's I think we're still socialised in a way no matter how far we've come with feminism to see women or girls as more dainty, figurines. Who are precious and breakable if you touch them.
Homo Sapiens
"more than once" Discussed on Homo Sapiens
"So okay, let's have a look at D here says, seems very natural now. I remember feeling so fearful when I came out the first time. Well that is lovely because that's a listener who has been through a right journey and we've been through it together. So thank you so much for writing that in. That's wonderful. Prince of androgyny says the first felt like a step in the right direction and the last felt like I was more complete and secure. Because it's funny, isn't it? People are saying, you know, it feels like it was two steps, like two step verification when you're trying to log into your hotmail. But it's like you still use hotmail. No. And then here we go. First time speaking of which rye says first time was by email and group Facebook message, latest was on a video call. So look at the technology jumps between that. So the first time where I came out was by email in a group Facebook message. And then you're on a video call. That's the pandemic. That would do it for you. Yeah. Someone wrote in and I wonder if this was you right, who was asking about coming out on a zoom on a family zoom? Should I do it on Zoom? And while our advice was pulled the plaster off and do it. Because it was coming out to a family in New Zealand. Whoever that was, me right in, say, what happened? Did you do? Did you take our advice? No harm feelings if you didn't. Sean says nothing Lowell between the two times, which is good. Got a lot easier to talk about and didn't really care about others opinions in my life says Dan. That's nice growth, like taking away that power from other people. Isn't it? And actually, that's the version of pride. I can relate to in a way. Yeah. Just not caring, just being like, these are the facts, which I think takes in innate sense of pride within you, but it's not the version that is on posters around Pride Month. Yeah, I think so. And I think this version here that you and Dan and I have all experienced is more true to the communities experience than the sort of glossy posters. I mean, completely. Although, I still enjoy the parades and the parties, so I'm not saying abolish them all together. I'm just saying, yeah. No, I think Pride Month for me, it's a celebration of the community, but is also for non queer people. And that's great. That's what I want. But I don't know that I relate to that part of it. I do not relate to the rainbow jumper in target. Sorry. Yeah, what's happened with Christmas has happened to pride where like? Yes. It's less about the actual thing and it's more about how you can celebrate the thing even if you're no where near involved in it. And I think that's happened to pride. Everyone wants to celebrate the thing even if they have no sort of actual involvement, the other 364 days of the year. Yes. Why don't we get presents then? Oh, I do. Yeah. I've trained my brother. What? Yeah, so he every year gets me a gift for Pride Month. Okay, let's start making this. And then who would be the queer father Christmas? It probably would have been Leslie Jordan. Maybe, yes. It could be Lil Nas X. Yes. And he's got enough money to just buy us all a person anyway. He could actually get on a sleigh around the world. I think he did it in a music video. I think he's done a Santa themed music video. If not, Lil Nas X, you can have this idea for free. Well, listeners, thank you so much. This has been really lovely reading all your responses. I just think the most fascinating thing about that is 75% of you have evolved your sexual and gender identity since first coming out because that's nearly everybody, you know? And I think if you look at it from the way coming out is portrayed, it's always this one big event, not true, as per you as but more as per these surveys. And shivani, what are you up to next in life? Aside from choosing your next pride present. So I make podcasts as a thing as a little side thing. So we will put in the show notes, the links to two, three. There have been many, but the one that I'm most proud of at the moment is what I'm working on at the moment called black and gay back in the day, which is sort of all about sharing black queer stories throughout British history. Mark came on the podcast. Yes. Mark is our host, mark Thompson, incredible moment. So that's what I'm sort of filling my time with at the moment and increasingly just trying to do things to support the queer community and to champion that. So I am a journalist for openly news on TikTok and it's a branch of the Thomson Reuters foundation. Where I make TikTok videos about what's going on, I think the tagline is impartial LGBTQ+ news for a world that isn't. And it's great because it's impartial, yes, but not in the sense that other organizations have been in the past. We don't say let's debate trans rights. We say trans people are people. So that is our baseline foundation, which is literally the floor, but you know when the bar is so low for some media organizations that can be reassuring for the trans community to hear. And then we sort of just tackle some of the biggest news topics. So things like the midterm elections and how that was going to affect LGBTQ+ people, but also Qatar and football. And all of that is basically anything in the LGBTQ+ sphere. We try and make it relatable and accessible. Well, it's funny, isn't it, 'cause when we started this podcast 5 years ago, we would sort of look around for things in the news. Headlines anyway, there were related to our community and it was like really ending, maybe one thing about one thing. Now it's like every day. Yeah. It's everywhere. It's really, it's very sad when it's the destructive stuff. But it's just very different. I suppose it's the majority. Yeah, I think what's important to note about what we do is the fact that, like you say, a lot of it can be quite destructive and it can be sort of hate crimes and homophobia and transphobia, but we solely focus on LGBTQ+ news, which means that we also get to focus on the positive things and the things that uplift the community and frankly from my point of view if we were just focusing on all the horrible things it would just be really depressing to work on, but we sort of want to shout about the good news as much as we want to explain
Homo Sapiens
"more than once" Discussed on Homo Sapiens
"To adopt a cat and that was where the inspiration came from for his name. Oh, lovely. I've seen pride, so was that performance in the film? No, no, no, no. Right. I thought I was like, you know when you just this huge sections of films that you completely forgotten when you watched them a while ago. I went to see this amazing thing, a symphony orchestra playing the soundtrack of Jurassic Park while you watched Jurassic Park. And it was so cool. But watching that film again, it's nothing like you remember. Have you seen it? Ages ago. I don't think I could tell you that any details of the film. To any great depth. I went into a weird wormhole as well about sexual politics in the film Groundhog Day. Have you ever seen groundhog? I've not. Have you known? Do you know the story? Yeah, kind of. It's like the same thing over and over again. Yeah, Bill Murray has the same day over and over again. And throughout the story of the film, he is learning how to make Andy McDowell fall in love with him. Okay. But the way that it's executed because it was done in whatever 1990 is problematic to say the least because he's basically kind of secretly finding out things she likes and then saying them even though he doesn't agree with him in order to make her have sex with him. And you go, God, I remember being thinking this film was lovely when I was a kid. Yeah, that feels very. Out of date. But it's quite true of many films now, don't you think? Oh, for sure. Yeah. I'm trying to think what like so many films bend it like Beckham, I can't go a day without mentioning bender like Beckham. And I think that film, I mean, besides the fact that it should have been queer, largely holds up apart from the fact that you realize that Jess, the lead character, is supposed to be something like 16 17 in the film. And she starts dating the coach.
Homo Sapiens
"more than once" Discussed on Homo Sapiens
"Tell people I don't know. It's hard. I think with all of these scenarios it's so personal like every single person will have a different response to how this would be and it could be the same situation with the same sort of identity or words to identify but you have different responses yeah and you feel different every day. Sometimes I find things easy sometimes I find it hard and I'm like, what's changed? Just the day. Have I had any sugar? How many coffees have I ever had a break? Lean says, I'm no longer scared of the response. I'm confident that's lovely. Chris is the first time I came out experienced a little shame. Now when I come out, I do it with pride. I mean, is that the same for you, Chris? Like coming out to the hotel receptionist thing. Yeah. I don't know that I come out with pride. I think I come out with absolute just this is who I am. You know what I mean? Unapologetic. Yeah, yeah. It's weird. I feel pride for others. You know, I think we are this amazing community, but I don't know that I feel pride in the moment of saying those things. I also think I can feel the tension in the moment. Whenever I do it, if that makes any sense. So like, you know, I was trying to talk to someone about insurance the other day. And I was on the phone someone at the insurance company. And I was trying to explain that it was my husband who was going to be calling and they needed to call him and I could hear them being like, not understanding. You know what I mean? And also like we don't have the same surname, so then it's like, even that's confusing them. And I would say when I'm coming out in that moment, I don't feel pride. I feel a bit like, oh, here we go. Yeah. But I have no, I really school myself to not elide over it to make their life easier, if that makes sense. For sure, but sometimes I feel like it's a controversial opinion I have, but sometimes I feel like there's so much emphasis on the LGBTQ+ community to be proud and to feel pride and rainbows and joy and happiness and all of that stuff, which is great, and I do think that we should be able to feel all of those emotions and not have any shame around our identities, but sometimes I don't want to feel pride and sometimes I just want to feel like contentment. Or just seeing. Just yeah, I just want to feel relaxed as opposed to like any sort of overwhelming joy or sadness. I just want to feel like toasty and warm. Does that make sense? Yes, it makes a lot of sense and I think there's a lot of people
Homo Sapiens
"more than once" Discussed on Homo Sapiens
"And it's really cool. It says homo on the front sapiens on the back and it's really sort of creates the logo as you turn around. Perhaps maybe when you're dancing somewhere. Let's have a look at emails, shall we? Jamie got in touch about our coming out at work episode, which was the other week. With Micah. Hi, Chris. Hi, Jamie. I really enjoyed listening to you and Micah talk about his experiences of coming out as a trans man at work this morning. And the 51 year old gay man who have worked most of my life in corporate offices, firms in law firms. First in law firm, sorry? In law firms. And then as an in-house lawyer, I know. Far from the world's entertainment and far from being viewed as a sexy profession. Jamie, lesson, my husband's a lawyer. I find him very sexy himself. I think a lawyer is a really sexy profession. One thing I didn't see lots of when I started off his work and that we are still lacking is LGBTQ+ people in senior positions totes. I so agree with this. There's a body of evidence to say that if you can't see it, you can't be it. Love that saying, that's me interjecting them. So size from it being much better personally for a person not to have to hide part of their identity at work. There's a career development, perhaps I mean societal benefit to. We owe these help others by being visibly gay, visibly trans or visibly queer. Very true. I did the video in the link below for my current place of work about my experiences of coming out in the workplace. Oh, cool. I didn't know there was a link. And my last workplace employees were encouraged to do if they wanted to a short video talking about an aspect of their identity that made them feel different. We ended up with a very wide ranging series of talks, but people's culture background, how difficult it was moving countries, their experience of anxiety attacks at work. We posted them on the company intranet. They were a huge hit. We were quickly overwhelmed with all sorts of interesting informative insights to people's experiences. This is really cool. They became kind of like a microcosm of what you're doing with the podcast, a gentle but persistent reminder of all the ways in which a person can feel different. I love that. It also left me feeling different about the sector I work in. Yes, office work, yes, the corporate life, yes, the law, sometimes yawn, and definitely viewed as a bit of a soul destroying.
Homo Sapiens
"more than once" Discussed on Homo Sapiens
"So you can try before you buy, which is my favorite I like to do that in the supermarket whenever they've got a little snack being handed out. Anyway, I digress. Hello, this is what they call part two of a podcast called homo sapiens. Part ones on the feet, but if you've already heard that, this will now become part two magically. You just have to sit there and wait and it'll become part two. Me talking to shivani darpa. It's a great chat. Here it is. Can I ask you a question about your second coming out? Do you remember what kind of took you between the first one and the second one and what made you say I needed you felt you needed to redefine the person you are. Yeah, I don't know if it was that deep, I don't know if it was something, you know, chewing me up inside and causing me to lose sleep, what I think it was was like, I came out as bisexual and largely I hadn't changed as a person I was sort of always the person I had been, but a bit more open about who I am. And before coming out and after my Friends were sort of call me a boy would boobs, just the way that I was and my interests and my hobbies and that sort of how I was identified among some of my friends and that was sort of like a jokey little thing. Then years later, I guess I found the terminology non binary. I don't think I necessarily knew it or I knew it, but I didn't really identify with it or understand fully what it means. It was 2020 and I kind of just was, this is me, this is kind of who I've always been and now I know this language and it's right there. You know it's a word that really does describe how I feel and who I am. And what actually did eat me up inside and what caused a lot of anxiety for me was not accepting myself as being non binary and not coming out to myself, but it was saying those words out loud to other people because in the last few years transphobia has only gotten worse and worse and worse and I feel incredibly privileged to be surrounded by people who are all kind of like, okay, great. Cool. What pronouns do you want us to use? And that that was really lovely for me. But it was a bit weird because, you know, on the flip side, when I first came out, I'd been at school, people at school were calling me gay or a Dyke or whatever the slur of the week was. And now I really like reclaiming those, but that really taught me up inside and I really tried hard not to give any of that away and I really tried not to be seen or associated as gay or queer or bi and that's what I lost sleep over and that gave me a lot of anxiety until and it was really hard for me to come out to myself as bi but then it flipped and I was, I'd already come out once and I was already comfortable with myself and I knew the feelings of how good and how liberating it was to finally accept that part of me. So then the second coming out was almost an easier step to make. When you say that you sort of struggled to give that bit away, I think was your words. As in do you mean like you told people but then you were like, but there's no way I'm going to act in any way that they think would make me. No, I didn't even tell people. I think, you know. I think I probably knew from when I was like 11 or 12 when I started secondary school. I basically knew. I see. And I didn't then come out until I was 19. And okay, so you had and it was a whole lot of me trying to pretend that I was the straightest straight to ever straight. The straightest straight to ever straight. But then at the same time I was playing sport and I was playing sport doesn't mean that you're queer if you're assigned female at birth, but you know the assumptions there, the stereotypes are there and it was really not helping me keep my cover as the straightest straight to ever straight. It was blowing your cover. Yes. So we asked the listeners about their own versions of this. Really fascinating results. So have you come out more than once? We are sisters. Yeah. 94% of people said yes. Is that because they're coming out as the same thing to multiple people, multiple times? I think that it's a combo to be honest because we haven't specified. So I think it's kind of like, but then as it goes as the question sort of move on, it gets more into like that whole doing the big announcement to your mates type coming out rather than trying to tell the person it reception in a hotel that you actually do need to jump. Second question, how is your relationship with your gender identity forward slash sexuality evolved since you first came out? 78% of people said yes. So that's over three quarters for the mathematicians among us. I'm really amazed by that actually. And I'm really pleased by that because I've spoken on this podcast about I came out as a gay man, but I don't find that fully satisfactory. It's not all of it. And I think I used to be sort of reaching around for a label and I'm not anymore, but I'm not currently. But non binary didn't work for me. Gender fluid oddly works better. Although, you know, I think which is your version. Because I really like femininity and I really like masculinity and I don't feel like either or not me if that makes any sense. I feel like it's all a construct and I don't fully understand it. I think that's the best way I've ever been able to verbalize it. Like I can't remember if I said this before, but it's like gender is just everywhere. I find it quite overbearing and it feels like other people seem to think it's just like oxygen. It tastes of nothing. We just breathe it and that's that. And I feel like I'm the only person going, can you taste air? Like it's quite strong flavor. Does that make any sense? Yeah, I think so. I think you're a 100% right though, like gender definitely feels to me like a construct and it simultaneously has this ability to mean nothing and everything at the same time. Like it has this absolute chokehold on the way society operates. But what's the point of it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, totally. Chokehold is the word. And sometimes the chokehold grabs you around the throat, and you're like, I was just walking down the street, and now you're shouting at me. Like, what are you talking, you know? So to go into listeners sort of expanding on that about how they felt between the two or more coming out. So Tia said, the first time I came out as bi, just let you didn't think it was a big deal because I didn't connect with it. Second time I came out with lesbian and I felt it with my whole soul. That's lovely. That's nice. Ben says pandemic really fucked me up because now I have anxiety telling people even when they affirm. I wonder if you would be able to elaborate for us Ben, but is that because we spent so much time alone and now you have to go out into the world and
Homo Sapiens
"more than once" Discussed on Homo Sapiens
"Welcome toma sapiens. You probably don't realize this, but it's Thursday upper body because how are you supposed to know what day it is between Christmas and new year? I ask you. I have just finished because we don't eat on this podcast. My 473rd celebration from a big pot that I bought in co op. That's all I eat now. I just eat celebrations. It's called the celebrations diet. You should try it. And I am one third turkey, three quarters stuffing. It doesn't really add up. And 7% James Bond movies. What have you been watching over this festive period? I so I finished white lotus. Where did you all get to? Did you all love it? What did you think? I adored it. I love that meme that's going around of Jennifer Coolidge. I think that's her name. I'm having a brain freeze. Going, these gays are trying to kill me. I just love that bit. It was so good and the cast was so brilliant and loved it. So that was my, what'd you call it? My festive watching. And I want to know how your christmases have been, what's the goss? Who who? Over the eggnog. If such a thing happened, very harmonious Christmas over here and pleased to report, I had the whole family round absolute heaven. We've had a lovely time. Husband liked his presence, pleased to report. I very much liked my presence, and as we're talking about on the episode before Christmas, did I give him some things that I actually wanted well, we'll have to get him in here to be the judge of that actually. Onto today's episode. I'm thrilled to bring you a really lovely conversation with broadcaster shivani Dave. We talk about all sorts. We're talking about non binary inclusive football teams to maternity laws and how they impact LGBTQ+ people. Plus, we're also going to be talking about shivani's experience of coming out as bisexual and then coming out again as non binary when they discovered this term. Bit because the theme of today's episode is coming out more than once. You all wrote in a lot when we put this on socials about how I think the 75% of you we get into it in the chat with shivani, 75% of you feel that you have your identity gender identity sexual identity, sexuality identity, is that even a word. Your sexuality has evolved,
The Slowdown
"more than once" Discussed on The Slowdown
"Eye. And a Tennessee school board banned mouse, the graphic memoir of art spiegelman, about his own family's experience in the Holocaust. Book banning infuriates me. We are banning books to keep our children safe, but we can't pass gun laws to protect our children from school shootings. In today's urgent poem, we see the speaker wonder what it might take to value the safety of all children. Let me tell you, it's not banning books. The wrong question, more than once. By Matt, Donovan. For most of the shift, it was more about not looking bored of wanting to seem invisible behind the ER desk. While nothing much happened at all. A cubs banner, twitched in the air vent, a nurse wearing a welcome to the madhouse T-shirt, described a stick figure mean. Someone wanted to know why a drunken John Doe had pissed in the supply closet and a man half hidden behind a triage curtain never stopped staring me down. Off rhythm pings from somewhere, chased a pulsing beep that made it seem as if something had gone wrong. I asked, and then later asked again. Nothing was ever wrong. And because the shift would be ending soon, I asked the question I was there to ask after reading about a surgeon who'd claimed our gun problems could be solved if only we'd release the autopsy photos from sandy hook. That's the only hope she insisted for this to be reversed. No doubt, even if I had found a better shape to my words, the doctor chaperoning my visit would have given me the same look that said as an act of mercy to everyone with an earshot, please shut the fuck up. The idea seems stolen from scared straight, he said, the 1970s documentary in which prison lifers rage at juvenile delinquents as a means of mending lives. Shoes squeaked. Phones rang. More off rhythm pings. Besides, why would sing bodies with gunshot trauma make any difference to Second Amendment fans? They'd say, yeah, that's what guns do. The next day, in the basement of saint Sabina church, talking to the woman from purpose over pain. What easier way to proclaim what little I knew than to ask the same question. Even after she told me, calmly, quietly, how her son was shot, unloading a drum kit, outside a church. We have mass shootings all the time in Chicago, and they do nothing. It's a problem when it's white lives. When a 6 year old gets shot on the south side, it's just crime as usual. And after she walked me upstairs through the pews, past the sculpture of an ash gray figure gripping a pistol with one hand, while piercing the chest of a young girl with another, leading me through the locked front doors, and out to the display case lining the sidewalk. Was I thinking even then about how photos of the dead might enact change? This is our memorial wall, she told me, matter of fact. I knew everyone here. She watched me for a moment, scanning the faces, stapled in place. School photos, caps and gowns, plenty of thumbs up, and basketballs, children, a few months old. Before pointing at a teenager, grinning in a white tuxedo in front of a drawing of a skyline, and a fountain. There is my Terrell,.
The Patriot AM 1150
"more than once" Discussed on The Patriot AM 1150
"May have to fight a battle more than once to win it. That's the truth. Some of these battles are just what are known as ongoing. Oh, well, this is what happens. Better a wounded warrior than who had never been in the battle. Opened phones a triple 882552 to 5. You jump in. We'll talk about your life and your money. Anthony O'Neill, Ramsey. Personality is my co host. Today. Jake is in San Diego. Hi, Jake. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. I did very started to speak with you. I am currently 24 years old, and I just graduated from law school. I have $130,000 in debt. All of it. Student loans. I am starting a job taking the bar in July and starting a job the first week of October. That job is going to allow me to refinance to a bank at about 2%. And then fixed And then on top of that, many making 190,000 plus bonus. My question for you today is Does it make sense while I'm in baby? Step two and aggressively paying down the 130,000 to Max, my four Oh, one k and a health savings account. No, that Z baby. Step four. Yeah. What makes you know? What did you make this year? This year. I Didn't technically work, but the firm would be working for sent me about 40. 40,000 and I had another job, so it's 46,000. So did you pay any of that on to the student loans? I paid tuition for my final year. And before I start listening to you, I actually funded around Okay, Okay. All right. So what my challenge would be would be to live like a college student. You know? What if I woke up in your shoes I think you have landed an unbelievably awesome job, so and you haven't unbelievably awesome future ahead of you. Would you agree with that? Yes, they did. I understand you correctly. You say a 24 years old. You're gonna be making $190,000 next year. Yes, Okay, and you owe 130,000 and student loan debt. Yeah. You know what I would do? I would live on nothing. And I would be debt free and one year absolutely. Okay? And you stay home, Jake. I can't believe the way of my job is, but I'm gonna have to pay around himself. Um, worst. I'm working. It can be in New York City, and the hours are gonna be very long, but I was in Manhattan. Yeah. Okay. You're not gonna be debt free in one year here, Not okay. But you're gonna be dead free in two years. Yeah. Oh, yeah, You're gonna You're not gonna buy housing and you're not gonna pay for housing of any kind in New York city and do what I was talking about. So you cannot live on Absolutely nothing but just the same. You still landed a wonderful income. Yes, and congratulations. You obviously were quite a star pupil in your law school because you got recruited by a big time firm. This pain, you big time Money. Way to go. I'm so proud of you. Yeah, well done, But listen, don't fall into the trap of doing what a bunch of the Guv's got recruited with you. We'll do Don't do it. These groups will be in debt for 10 years because there's 2% You don't pay up 2% Bull craps on pay it off now. Fast fashion attack it, bro. Masters. You can, Jake, this means you. You need to look for roommates in New York. You need to. Really. I mean, bro, You are living as cheap and as lowest pas gonna work you 80 hours a week, Anyway, you're not gonna have time to do anything but work right? Yeah, I'm expecting your first year out. They're gonna try to kill you. That's your job, So you just just work all the time, do nothing and pay debt and do that for a year and a half to two years you'll be free and all of your compadres. All of your peers will still be struggling with 100 to 200 to $300,000 with a student loan debt. And they will all be walking around the halls with their lips stuck out and making a ton of money and have no money. Yeah. And you son will be on your way. If you'll do what I say to do. Not many people will do this. But let me tell you wealth is weird. Even in the hallways of big time law firms in New York City wealth is weird. There's a lot of people walking around with her chest stuck out like like they've got something and all they got the payments. Don't be one of those. I want you to look and act like you are poor because you are you are deeply in debt. And clean this mess up as fast as you can. I don't know if you'll do it or not the man if you don't this conversation's gonna haunt you later, so well, sure will And he could be free. So what a killer job. Maybe he's a stud, and he's a lawyer. I mean, if he works it right. David's income is going to go up. Yeah, you might get $4 Million with no doubt, no doubt and no twenties in no time at 24 years old man. What was I doing thing? Ding ding. Well, it wasn't law school That show was so I'm so if it had have been, I would have been one of those, but anyway, I didn't qualify for that. It's still very cool, and the point is mathematically. If you will lean into this, he has a he has a future that's so bright Susan's with us, Susan's in Memphis. Hi, Susan. How are you? Good and yourself better than I deserve. How can Anthony not help? Have a question kind of twofold. I have a daughter who came out of a four year undergraduate program debt free. We were able to get the RGs teach four kids in four years debt free. Yeah, She's.
PLAYING GAMES with Strangers
"more than once" Discussed on PLAYING GAMES with Strangers
"Did you hear that. And i agree completely. It almost seems it almost seems like It almost seems like there was you while there is it. Yes yeah. I believe you were touched by the divine not the divine capital but You said you said he referred to himself as the keeper. Yes this what he said to me in a barely talk to these people to recruit flu like him very much glue. I do believe we are familiar. With this keeper. He has visited us once end. He has showed us that he explained that what we believe comes from a different realm and gave us a bit of history tweeden as far as the faith is concerned These markings on your head are very very peculiar. Because they make reference to something very very sacred we have come to believe that the keeper is what we call a meta tron a. What a meta tron and This this is this. You said you've you've encountered him more than once. His part of the reason that we are win we are i. He's the reason that we we missed several years. I let go let go or boggs mouth okay. So so if you have encountered this being more than once the divine has taken a specific interest with your with you and this dream you have had Welder i do think that was trying to other than giving you this exceptional blessing with whatever it was. He did He i do believe that He was trying to show you something. Make something evident to you Given that it is your he showed you your mentor. And then you right. I think he was trying to show you that you can ascend to whoever this mentor was if that makes sense It does i mean especially when you say that he was telling you that you could be better than you are. Yeah so. I think that's what he was trying to say In in an in this mark.
She Podcasts
"more than once" Discussed on She Podcasts
"Let's take no more people know. Don't bother miles. Love box at all paul for the low box. Listen you know what it means. You either want to use it or you. Don't you don't have to ask them if they approve of your vagina being a segment. I mean who's going stay node else. He's giant nobody. Nobody they're not going to say you can't use else's love box because it's hilarious and also indicative of your entire personality and the way you approach life in this country. Which is i make my own rules and i don't care what other americans want need. Look at judge roy. I'm just gonna do what i do all right. Well okay. so we'll call box. Great here we go but at least yuccas yeah box. That's going to be your jingle love box. That's where it's that box blaming. Oh my god y'all gonna take the okay but so let me talk about. Why wanted to have this conversation because people have been approaching me more than once from our community about clubhouse in it. There's a part of me like you heard there's a lot of incredible goodness to it. S there is. There is a lot of positive stuff that could happen from that plow for sure i mean we had somebody sign up for the super squad directly from you speaking at clubhouse so obviously there are results yummy. I spoke club and you weren't clubhouse and dod posted that we had somebody came into the super squad directly from clubhouse. They said it was because they heard you talk. Okay okay. yeah that was with. I think that was a spontaneous joining that. I did with dave jackson and robbery a bunch of other yvo. All i'm saying. Is that as you see with. Even just not worth small thing. There is something to be said about that platform and the value that brings to us. I'm not opposed to. I just don't like everyone else on it right right kidding. But here's my my whole thing about this. Is that the concerns. That i was getting in the feeling that i was getting from. Our community was based on the fear of missing out and it was giving people the folks that i serve the people that i care for in podcasting he giving them anxiety and making them feel like they didn't like they needed to do this thing and if they didn't do this thing then they were gonna miss out on insert. Whatever that is the money the fame the connections. Something's going in there. I'm not in there and it was this feeling of like. Should i be there or should. I not be there as if joining clubhouse is going to somehow be the thing that defines success and i'm not saying this to do belittle them at all. This is about the feeling that you have that we often have about not being somewhere and feeling like we should do that and then somehow giving our power to something that is outside of ourselves. That isn't really relevant to who we are or our success and addressing the anxiety that comes from owning yourself and saying you know what this isn't right for me right now. I don't want to join and it's okay if i don't and i'm not missing out and the power that social media and the conversations out there in the space particularly with with these viral platforms. That are happening that you.
90 Day Fiance Trash Talk
"more than once" Discussed on 90 Day Fiance Trash Talk
"And she's like i want to dress sir and he's like all of the things you're going to get everything you want. And she's like. I don't hang up my clothes and then i don't have shirts because he's like you could hang up church. I don't have shirts. shorts pants. This is this is my flesh. I paint every morning and the woman who does it is so good. You think this is a shirt. But it's not even makes maggie. These are my breasts cook. So she's just. I gotta tell you she's over. The top would every emotion and she's each each end of the spectrum is over the top so now. She's very very mad because he's going to give her the dresser that she wants anyway and he's like okay just like i said one minute ago you can also have the dresser and then she's like oh my god my hero and she goes. She's saying in the confessional. I don't know if it's maybe. I'm difficult person. It's like you know she's like i think things are easy and maybe i you know. I'm very hard. Okay so now she also go into the bedroom and he takes his things out of the jury is like here you go. And she's like no. These are so filthy dirty. I would never put my clothes in there. And then he's like okay. Hang some stuff up. And she's like the closet smells so bad but like what. She can't put her finger on it. She says strange smell now. Here's the thing. Yeah i gotta side with natalie on this one. Oh i know the it smells. There is definitely a strange smell. It's probably from using were closed more than once. Yeah he puts his work. Like what's in there Definitely smells like motor oil. Has that see. i like that. I was thinking like baloney. I'm glad you said the motor oil and bologna motor oil and baloney sandwich yum lubrication and then she goes but i deserve this. It's like oh. I mean you do but all right all right. But here's the thing right. So she's complaining that the closet smells and the drawers or dirty. Aren't home all the time. And you're bored. Why don't you clean. I mean i would. I have to tell you i would. Especially if i didn't like the smell or the looks of my house. Don't you remember when she came. She was like what am i gonna do. I'll clean the whole house in two hours. doesn't seem that way to me sister. Okay so sh- then she says something. That's so great. Told me she said it's boring. I want to die. I feel that way a lot. So i jabbing her relationship. Okay in the confessional again. Instead of blush she has bronze are on his blush. Yes she does. An a lots of highlight. Yes why who did that. I don't think she knows about makeup. I don't know about makeup. And i know not to do that. Okay well she loves less about makeup than you do for sure now Well speaking of beauty. She said that she had to remove her nails and it was very painful. Okay well was she declawed. I was just gonna say. She declawed herself. Yes what does that. What does that mean. She removed in haywar painful emotionally. Like i go. Oh my god. Did he get hurt to clubs. She wouldn't ruin the furniture. Listen there was. I know some people not you. But i know some people it lists used to watch jersey malicious and on episode of three. They took the gross of new york city for a makeover. 'cause they were to jersey and they got rid of their nails. 'cause they were like this is not hygienic to put on makeup with all these long. Yeah als- their nails. Were so long. The girls cried tears hysterical tears and i feel like that's all i thought of natalie. She was crying well. Guess what natalie. You don't even really know about makeup. How do you know so much about nails bryan. Who's doing them in square. Don't even wear shirts. wear pate. Maybe maybe some of her body paint from her blouse got on her. She got her nails. That's how she polishes her nail. Oh my god says she was declawed and she said that she has nothing to okay. But if you have nothing to do but clean then do better because that houses not organized. It's not clean. Those countertops right. Oh my what are you cleaning.