35 Burst results for "Monday"
Tropical Storm Colin threatens a wet weekend for Carolinas
"A tropical storm is bringing the threat of rain and high winds to the Carolinas I'm Ben Thomas with the latest Tropical storm Colin formed along the South Carolina coast Saturday the national hurricane center warns of possible flash flooding with up to four inches of rain possible in isolated areas At latest report the storm center was located inland about 25 miles west southwest of Myrtle Beach moving northeast at 8 mph maximum sustained winds near 40 mph with stronger gusts a tropical storm warning is in effect from south Santee river in South Carolina to duck North Carolina However the storm is not expected to strengthen as it moves into the Atlantic on Monday I'm Ben Thomas
Trial for US basketball star begins in Moscow-area court
"American basketball star Brittany griner has appeared in a Moscow area court for trial about four and a half months after she was arrested on cannabis possession while traveling to play for a Russian team Krona being led to the hearing in handcuffs with photographers on hand to grab shots At a closed door preliminary hearing on Monday in a Moscow suburb grinus detention was extended for another 6 months to December 20 the Phoenix mercury center and two time U.S. Olympic gold medalist was arrested in February at a Moscow airport police say she was carrying veep canisters with cannabis oil granite could face up to ten years in prison if convicted of large scale transportation of drugs I'm Charles De
Russian forces leave Snake Island, keep up eastern assault
"Russian forces are leaving snake island but keeping up its protracted eastern Ukraine assault Russia's pull back from a Black Sea location where they faced relentless Ukrainian army attacks but is keeping up the push to encircle the last bulwark of Ukraine's resistance in the eastern province of Luhansk While in central Ukraine funerals are being held for some of the 18 people confirm killed by Monday's Russian missile strike on a busy shopping mall in kremenchuk Crews continue to search through the rubble for another 20 people who remain missing I'm Charles De
Conservatives Won the Roe Narrative War Thanks to Drew Hernandez
"Won the narrative war that we were supposed to lose on Friday Saturday Sunday Monday is because your footage. And by the way, this is not just speculation drew. So we were told by everybody the following. Rove versus wade comes down and it's going to hurt our midterm chances. You heard something similar to that, right? Well, a generic congressional ballot before versus after roe versus wade, where on June 21st, Republicans were leading four on the generic ballot, and now we're leading by 5 on the generic ballot. Wow. You know, I think part of that could be the response as well. The violent response to this. I mean, you see this kind of footage. You see the way that these people respond to this type of thing. And I think a lot of pro life organizations that have been putting out a lot of education and media and social media informing the public just exactly what this is and what it looks like. And then you see people, yes, but then the other part is the other part is when you see a picture with a woman who's fully pregnant and she writes on their not yet. Exactly. And it all comes together. I don't think that's persuasive. I mean, a person is come on. I mean, it's not science. It's not science fact. It's evil. Listen, Charlie, when a regular person is like sitting on social media to go to your point and that pops up on their feed, they immediately say to themselves, that is, that's not the side I want to be on. That's right. At all. So you got this cut
51 migrants die after trailer abandoned in San Antonio heat
"I'm Mike Gracia reporting another victim dies after migrants are abandoned in a tractor trailer in San Antonio heat The death toll from a tractor trailer packed with migrants that was found abandoned and stifling San Antonio heat Monday evening rose to 51 Tuesday Authorities say it was the deadliest tragedy in a migrant smuggling case in U.S. history More than a dozen people including four children their bodies hopped to the touch were taken to area hospitals Antonio Fernández CEO of Catholic charity San Antonio tells The Associated Press he visited one of the survivors in a local hospital The Guatemala because we have been told that they were speaking Guatemala and she actually narrated The Mexico consul general in San Antonio said among the dead 27 are believed to be of Mexican origin U.S. representative Henry cuellar of Texas told the AP the driver of the truck and two other people were arrested I'm Mike
AP Sports SummaryBrief at 3:11 a.m. EDT
"AP sports I'm David Schuster the New York Yankees move to an amazing 34 games over 500 Monday night with a come from behind 9 5 victory over Oakland Elsewhere American League Gary Sanchez had three hits a home run and four RBIs in Minnesota's 11 one round of Cleveland Toronto down Boston 7 two Texas defeated Kansas City ten to four LA edging Chicago four to three in Baltimore over Seattle moving to the national league Paul Goldschmidt had four hits in St. Louis's 9 zero shot out of Miami Colorado blanked the Dodgers four zero and Washington got by Pittsburgh three to two Off the field Major League Baseball handed out a total of 12 suspensions as a result of a bench clearing brawl Sunday between the angels and the Mariners LA manager Phil Nevin getting the biggest suspension of ten games From the diamond to the hard court Kyrie Irving has decided to opt in with Brooklyn next season at $36.5 million while John wall who recently negotiated a buyout with Houston he plans to sign with the LA clippers I'm David Shuster AP sports
46 dead, 16 hospitalized after trailer of migrants found
"I'm Mike Gracia reporting over 40 people have been found dead in a tractor trailer 46 people were found dead inside a tractor trailer Monday and 16 others were taken to hospitals in a presumed migrant smuggling attempt in southwest San Antonio Police chief William McManus said a city worker at the scene heard a cry for help shortly before 6 p.m. when officers arrived They found a body on the ground outside the trailer Fire chief Charles hood said of the 16 people taken to hospitals with heat related illnesses 12 were adults and four were children Three people were taken into custody It may be the deadliest tragedy involving migrant smuggling attempts at the U.S. border with Mexico in recent decades I'm Mike Gracia
3 killed, dozens hurt in Amtrak train crash in Missouri
"I'm Mike rossia reporting three people were killed and dozens were hurt in an Amtrak crash in Missouri An Amtrak train traveling from Los Angeles to Chicago collided with a dump truck in a remote area of Missouri Monday afternoon killing three people Two on the train and one in the dump truck Corporal Justin Dunn of Missouri highway patrol The train had approximately 207 passengers as well as crew members Hospitals reported receiving more than 40 people who were injured in the crash and more were expected Amtrak officials said 7 cars derailed The collision was at a rural intersection on a gravel road with no lights or electric controls It was the second damn track collision in as many days Sunday afternoon three people were killed when an Amtrak commuter train smashed into a car in Northern California I'm Mike Gracia
3 killed when Amtrak train hits truck, derails in Missouri
"I'm Mike Gracia reporting fatalities are reported in an Amtrak train collision and derailment The Missouri highway patrol says three people were killed in the derailment of an Amtrak passenger train that collided with a dump truck Monday afternoon The collision occurred near menden Missouri about 84 miles northeast of Kansas City Amtrak said the Southwest chief was carrying about 243 passengers and 12 crew members passengers on the train included high school students from pleasant ridge high school in eastern Kansas who were headed to the future business leaders of America conference in Chicago superintendent Tim bay told the Kansas City star I'm Mike Gracia
'Elvis,' 'Top Gun' tie for box-office crown with $30.5M each
"There's a tie for number one at the box office A march is our letter with the latest I'm ready Well this does not usually happen The film Elvis brought in $30.5 million in ticket sales in its first weekend Top Gun: Maverick also brought in $30.5 million in its 5th week of release Final figures will come out Monday so it's likely that one film will pull ahead Maverick has already reached $1 billion in worldwide ticket sales As for the rest of the top 5 Jurassic World Dominion is in third followed by the black phone and light year
John Zmirak Reacts to SCOTUS Strike Down of New York Gun Law
"Meer agz. John, today is Friday the 24th of June. And as we're recording this, we don't know whether the Supreme Court will release its ruling that effectively ends roe V wade. But we do know that has to happen either today or Monday, I think. Yeah, they certainly have the tortured us with suspense, but yesterday they issued a decision, which is every bit as important. Yesterday, and I would say every bit as pro life. Yesterday, the Supreme Court said that the constitution means what it says in the Second Amendment. My hope is that today they're going to say the constitution doesn't mean what it doesn't say, which is anything about the right to kill your baby for sexual convenience. But let's look at the first half of that. New York State, where you live, where I used to live, makes it almost impossible to carry a gun from your own self protection. Unless you are friends with the member of the city council or Holly Hollywood star with a second home in New York or a corporate CEO or somebody with political connections or if you're a diamond dealer. Basically, if you don't deal in diamonds or have political connections, you can not carry a gun. So all the people who live in crime red neighborhoods in New York are out of luck. At best, when they need help in two minutes, the police will be there in ten minutes. And we'll draw a nice chalk circle around their body. This is not consistent with an important document that a lot of liberals don't know about called the United States Constitution
Maine Insurance Agency Slammed for Racist Sign
"This person ain't gonna be able to live this one down, ladies and gentlemen, a major insurance company or a major issue in this company's terminated their relationship with a main insurance agency after it allegedly displayed a racist sign about Juneteenth holiday earlier this week. A photo taken Monday, which the communist news network has obtained shows a signed taped to the inside window of the Harry E Reed insurance company in millinocket. Maine. Now, before we get to the story, have you ever heard of millinocket Maine? Well, you know what? We did our research. Miller not get made got 4000 people in it. And 90 plus percent are white people. And the only black person in the city took a picture of this fried chicken and collard green sign. So let me read you what the signs say, Juneteenth. At the very top of the sign and then it says you can see it here if you're watching on TV. And then it goes down and it says, it's whatever. And then below that, it says, we're closed, and then below that, it says, enjoy your fried chicken and collard greens. Now, before I got mad at this sign says, I actually got hungry. Because I love fried chicken. And collard greens. Especially if grandma cook it. When my grandma cooked, it's off the chain. But the young lady comes out. I don't know if this is a young lady or not. It says the person who said they posted the sign issued an apology on Facebook, writing, in part, in part on the company's page. I am so sorry for any pain, I have caused in a negative attention I have brought to our beautiful company. I don't want to hear it. You only sorry because you got in trouble. It is unacceptable.
FBI Seizes Nevada GOP Chairman’s Phone in Fake Elector Investigation
"I team news KLA S FBI seizes Nevada GOP's chairman's phone as part of a fake elector investing Oh my gosh Jim Pressuring electors The 2020 election sounds really horrible Sounds like a huge scandal Well we played this yesterday isn't it kind of interesting how something's only a scandal when the Republicans do it but when the Democrats pressure presidential electors in the 2016 election pressure them on national television by the way they don't get an FBI investigation Matter of fact they get raisins They get prime time shows They get celebrated They make documentaries Yeah we played this yesterday but it's worth playing again So a bunch of these people are under investigation for pressuring electors or whatever trying to appoint other electors whatever it may be because they had a problem with the 2020 election Democrats do the same thing on national television back in 2016 No problem at all Here listen for yourself FBI by the way if you're listening you may want to investigate these two Chris Hayes and Michael Moore check this out I think there are people who are pushing very hard to think that because of some of the constitutional perils of the emoluments clause because of the popular vote margin because of a fundamentals they think threat to liberal democracy that electors should be persuaded and pressured on Monday to part with what their pledges and vote and vote against Donald Trump Yes they absolutely should do that Absolutely I believe right now that there are electors And we need 38 of them who have a conscience or who are worried about a man who won't attend the daily security briefings who we now know Russia was trying to help get elected I mean can you imagine if I said if you or I had been running for office and they showed that the Iranians were somehow involved in helping you or me get elected what would happen to you or me Chris I'm just curious What would happen FBI is just throwing that out there
Stephen Colbert Remains Defensive About Staffers' Arrests
"He is very defensive about what took place with his staff He's the kingpin behind it obviously With his 7 staffers were arrested They rested because they defied the Capitol Hill police and you would think that with all the security there and walled all the attention given to January 6th that Colbert and his conga linea leftists would know better But they don't Because they think they're above the law They know they'll never have to pay the price So his staffers were arrested They spent a few hours in their D.C. jail and they were released And they flew back to New York I wonder if along the way they saw some of the January 6th trespassers In the D.C. jail probably not since summer in solitary confinement The U.S. attorney in Washington D.C. is a hack He worked on the Biden campaign he's a hack and his wife is a hack And so it really is unimaginable that there would be equal justice Equity I think we call it now The way AOL is regurgitating this And they pick it off from Yahoo entertainment On Monday is the Late Show with Stephen Colbert Open by addressing the arrest of some of the staff in the capital complex late last week The crew were there with Robert schmiegel who voices triumph the insult comic dog covering the January 6th hearings Covert said that both Republicans and Democrats were willingly interviewed So what
Nobel sold for Ukrainian kids shatters record at $103.5M
"A Nobel Prize sold off Monday night raised a staggering amount for Ukrainian charity The Nobel Peace Prize auctioned off by Russian journalist Dmitry muratov to raise money for Ukrainian child refugees sold Monday night for a $103.5 million shattering the old record for a Nobel No word on who bought it muratov said in an interview after the auction I was hoping that there was going to be an enormous amount of solidarity but I was not expecting this to be such a huge amount muratov has said the proceeds will go directly to UNICEF in its efforts to help children displaced by the war in Ukraine just minutes after bidding ended UNICEF told the auction house It had already received the funds I'm Jennifer King
"AP sports I'm Bruce Morton English man Matt Fitzpatrick and the country club course in Brookline Massachusetts have a good thing going Fitzpatrick Sunday finished at 6 under PAR-2 74 to win the U.S. open his first major title He prevailed at the U.S. amateur in 2013 on the same course Sunday Fitzpatrick finished a stroke ahead of will zalatoris and Scott scheffler baseball They may have the best record in the majors but even the Yankees can't win them all Toronto rallied from 5 down to defeat The Bronx bombers ten 9 Another action Andres gamines drove in the game winning run as the guardians rallied in the 9th to defeat the Dodgers 5 three Meanwhile on Monday Major League Baseball is imposing a 13 pitcher limit on active rosters This could result in more position players taking the hill and blowouts Auto racing max first stop and picked up his 6th Formula One win of the year and fairly easy fashion on Sunday at the Canadian Grand Prix in Montreal Bruce Morton AP sports
College Basketball Star Killed in Latest Round of Gun Violence
"College basketball star home from summer break was killed by a stray bullet and 8 people were wounded when a shooting erupted in Harlem at a harder Harlem rapper's Father's Day cookout earlier Monday, police say. So this pretty much just happened. What a very sad when I say Monday morning, I'm pretty sure it was through the night, but what a sad occurrence. A young star for what I read this kid was an amazing talent, he was going to go off probably to be able to raise his family and next generations out of poverty. Going on to be a probably an NBA star and do really well. According to people that make commentary about the young man who says the greatest kid ever, he was a good kid. And it's unfortunately because it's always seems like it always seems like these negative things happen to young good men. When you look at the inner city violence, it is shameful. And nobody wants to talk about it.
Abortion PSAs Are Now Playing at Concerts
"You're going to see more of this as the road decision comes down in the Dobbs case We don't know when it's going to happen I thought it was going to happen yesterday We thought it was going to happen on Monday The decision still hasn't been announced to overturn roe V wade It's expected any day now When it does come out you are going to see and hear more of this A bunch of celebrities who you ask basic questions of hey when does life begin I don't know man But abortion is great You're going to see this And kids listen to them I'll give you an experience that happened in my life when my daughter Went to a concert with my wife I'm going to say who but what do a concert with my wife Was having a good time Comes home My wife says to me you're never going to believe this Halfway through the concert Some like PSA airs or something for the abortion group And there's a bunch of young girls at the concert too And she was like I was disgusted I said you of course you were disgusted You know obviously that's how I should have done more homework on this artist I was just it was a lot going on folks It's totally my fault I'm not trying to put lipstick on it I just missed this one I should have seen it coming But I told my daughter that's it You're 18 you want to pay for whatever you want to pay for with your money I can't stop you I'm just telling you don't ask me I'm not sending you one of those again You're going to see more of this going forward with the row case
"monday" Discussed on Monday Morning Podcast
"On. its bill burr. And it's time for the monday morning. Podcast for monday. September sixth. I don't know i'm on the road. I have no idea. Hang on a second with the hills. Today's date do. I even have that on my thing air. It is september six cheese. Says they we go and guess what what up boudou boudou could it. It's football season. Everybody is fantastic. Isn't that something that you really enjoy. Maybe don't maybe one of those people with the with the what the telescopes you know. You don't know you don't know how to talk at a party and everybody's sitting there and you're just waiting for someone in the backyard. Look up and be like oh look at that shiny one. what's that one. And someone else saw the north star. You know nausea actually showed. He's warning you guys use to back. It's used navigation and then you finally get the pipe. Actually that's not the northstar that's chew and if you look right to the right of it that saturn every ninety seven thousand months their orbits are close enough that they're right next to each other true yes it is okay am still gonna fuck the guy that thought that was a north star but thanks for the information maybe one of those people but if you're not if you're not in your into football i one of the one of the best fuck at times. I've had watching a foot watching college football in a long time. I was at the hat. Rock cafe that used to be the trump taj mahal. It somehow that fucking thing went out of business. I just really don't understand how casino can go out of business unless the skins getting out of control you know. I've i've watched casino a couple of times. I feel like that makes me an expert. Right people can go on web. Md and fucking you know analyze themselves and decide you know Fucking what alligator plaque pill. They're going to take. I don't know maybe. I could fucking. Maybe i know some things Anyway i love people who do do it went on web. You know my neck was stiff right so last night i'm on web web. Md and it turns out. I think i have this very rare disease from south america. Even though i'd never been there but you know you know. People fly in on the airports all. Why don't you just go to a doctor. You.
"monday" Discussed on Monday Morning Podcast
"For the monday morning. Podcast from august thirtieth twenty twenty one holy shit. The summer is over the summer. Twenty twenty one is over but thank god for global warming because it will continue right in october on sorry climate change. Does that make you feel better about climate transitioning. How about the climate is living. Its best life. Yeah that's the one good thing. Can you wear white after labor day. What if it's still one hundred thirty degrees out. How do you think that climate change is going to affect halloween and some of the costume choices. What are some of the exciting new ones. Because i remember back in the day. You got the ghost. You'd go out as a vampire with makeup has got to be too much. Makeup can kiss up for joining us year. Well we they could go out as lifeguards. They could go out his adam and eve you know they could. Maybe you know. Come over to your friend's house and you could hide in the freezer. And then they yell boo and then you get in the freezer and maybe you warm up. They stick their candy in there before it melts. Sorry i'm feeling a little apocalyptic. Because i just did i just did a gig out there in florida man. I'll tell you there's a reason why that state is surrounded on three sides by water because only georgia and alabama can deliver.
"monday" Discussed on Monday Morning Podcast
"We don't see it happening stuff saying we. This is your point. Stop acting like everybody agrees with you. I one hundred percent disagree with you that this cancel culture thing is not some new thing you know it. It's ben ramped up. Like i said back in the day you add to get into a position of power and you had know enough people to control the narrative of what you wanted to have happen. You had to pay people off. You had to do all of that shit now like somebody you know in in some ways. It's good because if someone's actually doing something and they are super powerful it gets people who aren't powerful voice that aspect of it is good but with that power comes the abusive it and You know a lot of the shit that you see out there. So i disagree with what i agree that people have always been trying to take out people but back in the day for the most part it was it was powerful people doing it and Everybody walking down. The street didn't have the ability to create their own new story with their own thoughts in their own video in their own. Like clips we'll fucking click bait and all of that shit that they have out there that just regular regular people do that now because they know what place and they know what they have to say to get people to click on it so they can get click on it so they can get eyeballs to get people to advertise like. There's never been a time in history. Where every person walking down the street is thinking like. They're running their own. Tv network and then you combine that with how most people cannot handle positions of power and you have the shit show that is going on right now. Which i think that it's as the the similar thing from back then was it's always just been a distraction for what's really going on but you really should be safe paying attention to you. Know who actually has the money who really is running. Things put direction that we really going in. How politicians are all kinds of paid off deliberately underpaid so they owe people favors that whole fucking shit where you can attach all those things to bills so horrific things get attached to things that people want and then we don't have. We don't get a right to vote on a lot of those all of that bullshit. I don't know i disagree with you. I respect your opinion. there you go. Please don't cancel me all right. Angels of fenway. He saggy tits. I just listened to the latest episode of the thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning. Podcast and since you got sentimental about being back in boston and sitting by the ocean. I thought i'd send you a song recommendation. You probably know this but in case you don't check out james. Taylor's angels of fenway. I don't know this would be interesting to hear what you think. I heard you making fun of james taylor a few times. I may i make fun. Dude i there's so much shit i make fun of that. I actually like okay. I liked the carpenters. But you know rainy days and mondays always get me. I'm gonna make fun of that song. But i also am. I hear it. I go back to riding in the back of a station wagon in the seventies so this part of me that likes i like james taylor i also like making fun of. I assume that blacktop movie that he made whatever the fuck it was called. I forget aren't so anyway. So you open up a diet fan so opened up a diet fan that sit down by the ocean and give it a listen. Love your comedy podcasts. Please keep doing what you're doing all the best from germany. That's pretty random. Somebody from germany would know all of that stuff. Maybe it's a military guy. There he made one of the troops. Heroes.
"monday" Discussed on Monday Morning Podcast
"Monday morning. Podcast a monday august seventeenth. No august sixth eighth. Today's monday what's going on. I why echo sorry. I'm up in the fucking attica. This house you know still on vacation here enjoy myself. I apologize for the echo. That's not that. I could fuck and do about it but even if there wasn't an echo wouldn't it wouldn't you complain about something else you know. Wouldn't you be like. Oh you know good podcast. But what. Up with the treble. First of all you know anyway. Well what the fuck you want from me right. I'm not somebody that has a crew posse. I don't have it on samba around to rush like fucking do this shit wherever i could do so sometimes it sounds good. Sometimes it doesn't oh man fucking saw today really just annoyed the fucking shit out of me. God is just fucking bug the shit out of me. It bugged this shit out of me. Oh did it bug the fucking shit out of me. Some stupid fucking post where mothers are complaining once again about how they have. No fucking help. Jesus fucking christ. They're unbelievable it's really kid and then they have a kid. Guided.
"monday" Discussed on Monday Morning Podcast
"Monday morning podcast for monday. July twenty ninth two thousand and thirteen. How you doing I'm on the road right now. I'm currently in new orleans. And i brought all my podcast stuff with me but of course our kidding who i went to summer school. I should've gone three out of the four years. I went to high school. I should actually gone all four years but one year. My math teacher gave me the d. minus and then my senior year was kind of like well. What's the fucking point. But for the record. I should have gone four times all four years and free those you listening overseas basically summer school. If you don't have it over there is basically you fucked up so bad. They gave you ten months to get your shit together and evidently. That wasn't enough for you. So no swimming. No biking no experimental drugs for you and you have to go to fucking summer school so next week. I will have a power cord here. I am new orleans right now. And i'm starting my acting gig. I'm going to be here for the next couple two three weeks so yeah. I hope these levels are all right. I don't know how to fuck in. Adjust them on this garage band. That's what i'm recording it. It's it's the usual bullshit. I just i. Just don't get along with technology. I like to think i didn't started. Maybe i did. Maybe it did start by. Just you know you know what my problem was. i thought it was just a fad. You know. I thought computers in this new technology and shit. I just thought it was some i just. I looked at it as an extension to video games. I looked at at at it was just time sponge. I don't wanna do that shit. I want to go out and go fucking do something you know and i think we can say at this point that i was wrong. I remember when i was living with bobby. Kelly check avenue wrap it weighs forty seventy pounds beck in nineteen ninety five or ninety six or whatever the fuck we live together and he was he he just jumped all over that ship. And what was funny is i was smarter than bobby. Kelly in one thousand nine hundred ninety five and eighteen years later. He is way smarter than i am. Because i just just there was just something right out right right out of the gate that i just did not like about computers. I just didn't like it. You know. I remember back in high school when they had like the fucking piece of paper was coming out of the things and you had to. What the fuck computer programming. I was just sitting there. Like i would rather dig for fossils that fucking sit here another many typing in run enter. Whatever the fuck we were doing and it was. It was not fun on any fucking level so anyways. I'm not gonna ever really that smart. But i wasn't a fucking moron but my lack of embracing computers. I feel like in an odd way. I've gone from being literate to completely fucking illiterate unbelievably frustrated with them. And i do. I do with my computer a lot. I grab it. I picked the fucking thing up and i hold it over my head like fucking hog hogan when he's gonna slam share get. Somebody's fucking sweaty back. And i bite my bottom lip. I never do it because it costs so much. Fuckin- money but i swear to god one of these times. I just won't do it once. Just one tabora instantly regretted. But i just i apologize for the poor quality of this podcast. So i'm going to try to speak in regular speaking tones. I won't do my usual fucking with the microphone..
"monday" Discussed on Monday Morning Podcast
"Are you. how's it going. I know the podcast late. I don't understand why you guys feel like you actually have not all you guys just to feel. You actually feel that you know when this podcast is supposed to come about so. It's called the monday morning podcasts. Why isn't it around on monday morning. Let me ask you this. Fucking song led. Zeppelin did that. Hey mom it's the way you move gonna make gonna make you groom click about abutbul bob payback to throw that shit. The name of that song is called black dog. It's not about a black dog. He never says black dog. A black dog walked in the fucking studio. Right wasn't wearing a hoodie. So nobody's shot it john. Bonham didn't have to stand his ground. The fucking came walking in and called the song talk so they go monday morning. Podcast i do it monday mornings when i wake up when i'm in town i was on a fucking plane this monday morning flying from fucking from boston. B w people not be a h you mid western conce thinking. You can do a boston accent. It's baugh b. w. boston red sox as they w x like saw unit can you. Can you figure that out damage to green jeans. When you're not there plant food for the fucking country okay. All right then. I was just asking. You don't have to grab a little shoulder. Straps on your overalls. By the way what is that pocket for between you tits. What do you stick in there. You remote control stick something in therefore wetland she goes scrub your nails bomb. Fuck was talking about. Oh yeah i was. Flying back from boston and i got upgraded is a classic example of cold lotion. Everybody right in the back of the plane with the fucking animals right all of us back there clamor and around. We all sucked at math. Well maybe we good at math. We just want gonna fuck in getting along with people which one is one of the keys main keys to success people. You got to be a good shit. I don't care how smart you off you gotta be somebody that people wanna be around all right felber. Einstein was account just think how many more japanese people would be around today. I'm sorry i can never get past that. He made the bomb. He didn't have to do it. You know those fucking people asking them to make the goddamn thing. They didn't do it. He could just been like yeah. I don't make something like that. You know you can have to earn this one. There sergeant reicher all right probably offended at least nine different races at this point. Let's let's keep going here. I know there's a point near somewhere. So i'm flying back so i i'm in the back of the plane right with the people who say what they feel to their boss. The people who sucked at math the people who fucking knocked up somebody. They're not in love with you. Know what. I don't know what we did to deserve to be in the back of that fucking plane all right but with back there and all of a sudden fuck and tap on the shoulder and says mr burke on this desert spot up our first class cabin is a space available you've been upgraded you know. What do i say. Do i say no. I'm not going. I'm staying with my people. You know the downtrodden. The mentally challenged not not mentally challenged kind of way just like in. That guy's not all there kind of way you know do i fuck and hang in there like william wallis they pull out my entrails trying to drag me into first class and say no. I'm not going. i'm going to stand my ground. I'm gonna stay here in the fucking the the the main cabin only custom main fucking cabin right like you feel. Oh this is the main this shit. I'm in the main vip. Now you're not she. It the fuck corral for something like the stockade. Anyways that i stay with my people no i did. I saw them up. I said fuck this. I'm out like the leader of a union. Spokesman was some guy that smells like clam sauce as another group. And i go up to the front row. Fucking knees in my chest highlights magazine right right in my face. You know whatever they have there the sky mall wanna buy a fucking mickey mouse ashtray. Whatever the hell they have slash ipod judger. That's my joke. That joe always do our joke. I should say about bobby kelly. Whatever gadget he has it always ends with any judges my i i just bought a fucking guilty out you. It goes clockwise current clockwise charges. My iphone a sorry so anyway. So i go up there. I'm fucking excited to tell gonna sit in first class with all the big boys all the blood money everybody up there you know. Some bearded fellow with curly cues diamonds under his hat. Am trot up front with the blue bloods people own horses just to own. Because they think they're cute fuck until the land. That's how you say it. So i get up my seat. Only thing suck was. I was very front row. See you can't put your shit onto the person in front so i had to look for an overhead compartments based people. If you could just put your bags in the overhead compartments we could expedite the boarding process. We're trying to have an on time departure. They also the same thing. And i fly all the airlines ihor around how anyways so fucking get up there and i sit down and my first class fucking cabin seat. It's six fifty in the morning flight. All right i have a nice giant pillow. I have a nice blanket. First-class everything's nice. And you know pay for it all those poor saps back in the main cabin you know some lady going into labour. Three months in because unease is so fucked up fucking up to her chin. They don't care okay. When she has a little three pound baby we fly over the rockies. Dental care they don't give a fuck to them. That's just another three pound animal that stuff in the back of the fucking plane. And at this point i don't care because i'm selfish about me i'm upfront i'm rubbing elbows with bankers. You know. I'm the only person update without cufflinks.
"monday" Discussed on Monday Morning Podcast
"But anything anytime anywhere with my bookie what you guys think about that. Fight this weekend. I mean i always love seeing new blood coming in there but like i don't wanna fuck in. I don't wanna see conor mcgregor lose again. My crazy i'm route for mcgregor ghana mcgregor. You don't i hope he wins and then retires. I don't want to see that guy. Get off fucking knocked out and then fucked up and everything and then i. You wanna hate when somebody like. Somebody great gets beaten is in all these other people. That are too much of a bitch to fuck go into a ring or never even had a fight in their life gets talk shit like i love watching this fight. Why do you love watching the fight. Because he's so much of a fucking man that you can't handle it that you wanna see him lose you feel better about yourself. He's one of the greatest of all. Fuck that's like when what's her face. Loss to the holly homes to what is going on with my brain. That i can't remember anybody. I can't remember anybody's names. Holly homes ronda rousey everybody talking all that shit about rhonda rousey ronda. Rousey put women fighting on the map. She came out of fucking shoes to headline those fucking fights and all the entertainment that she gave you and then she gets knocked out once in all. These people are fucking excited. Look you and all. I don't understand that. I always have this way whenever i see that happen. Even sometimes there'd be a fighter that i didn't particularly care for. There's always an element of sadness. When i see a great fighter get knocked out and then you just have to respect the balls that they have to go in there knowing that that's going to happen at any time. And they could. They could actually have health issues for the rest of their life with the punishment that taking and then on top of all of that they gotta go on youtube and take shit from a guy like me to fight since the fucking six greatest ridiculous. It's ridiculous show to fight is some fucking respect so either way. I'm hoping for a great fight. And i know the younger kid has a huge future ahead of them so i got i gotta root for the underdog in that fight so i will be watching say night i will absolutely be watching so i've been working so hard. You know. flying chop is here. Trying to get ready for my instrument. Which i swear to god walking up to a mountain i keep thinking it's right there and every time you take another step it's like now it's another hundred yards away have been playing drums. Says i gotta sit down and play these things before i forget and sometimes taken like a week off from something is actually really good because you kind of forget what you were trying to do. He get out of iraq. You're excited to sit down. And i've been watching a lot of like drummers that rather than just shred on the drums crazy chops. I'm trying to watch people that are actually like saying something and Their approach to the kit versus somebody who learns a lick as their little thing to it. And then you know gets it up to a zillion. Bpm's and then moves it around the kit on all different sound sources. So it'd been took me the longest time to understand that you whatever the lick is right. It would be like i said. Put it in the microwave right if you just do the same. Lick all around the kit. It's gonna sound like you're doing a bunch of different shit but you really just put in the microwave. Great put it in a way but anyway you just saying the same like a crazy person where these people that i'm watching conga players to when everything how they kind of they build like a vibe and there's something about that so exciting because you can tell that something an idea came into the head that made him play something that then leads to something else like that level of freedom on the kit. So i've just been kind of experimenting at my pathetically low level playing like doubles on the snare and then added an accent to something and then thrown in a tom. And then like what that makes you think of next. And then can i play that. Can i do a little double role singha phil and then play. Whatever the fuck phil just sank because you can always sing something beyond your playing ability so it was funny shit. And i just was having a great domino's in a great mood and then i went to the triplets. After that afterwards. After i kind of tried to like i don't know how to connect with the instrument as opposed to sitting down i'm going to play para dentals yesterday. I played them at ninety bpm today. I will try to get it up to ninety one. Bp abs which this something to say about that if you work working on technique but after a while it it's just mind-numbingly it's boring as opposed to trying to get there where you could like play something that makes you feel something that that makes you play something and then all of a sudden maybe on some low level you're actually expressing yourself through an instrument which to me is one of the most exciting things i've ever seen any human being do so i don't know anyway but that we're kind of out of time here because i gotta go study. I gotta go study for this fucking thing. My little simulator All right. That's the thursday afternoon just before friday. Monday morning podcast The great end with families is going to place a little bit of music little music musical interlude and then we'll have a bonus A bonus track no bonus episode of the.
"monday" Discussed on Monday Morning Podcast
"I'm just sitting there reading the lyrics now. This is the wrong. This is a song called dreams of the everyday housewife. Which if you want to know why. The women's movement ever happened just read those fucking lyrics. Jesus christ like a tribute to the woman who just gives up everything that she ever had and now she's old and she's looking at old pictures of her when guys were all interested in her. Now they're not not. She's just a wrinkled housewife and she gave it all up from me in my dreams. I mean there's there's there's a you know it's much is a decades. I am i. It's not like i don't understand. Where all this fucking shit from the ladies is coming from. Oh gee bill. Thank you for extending the olive branch freckled county. Welcome our his gentle on my mind. Let me read some of these sad fucking lyrics. It's knowing that your door is always open and you path is free to walk. That makes me tend to leave. My sleeping bag rolled up and stashed behind your couch. So all right good. He's settling doubt. And it's no one. I'm not shackled by forgotten words bonds and the ink stains that have dried upon some lines. That keep you in the back roads by the rivers of my memory and keeps you ever gentle on my mind. So michael wait. What the fuck the back roads of your memory back roads and by the rivers of your memory like she's in your past so i feel bad for this guy because it's like whoa stop fucking running around like a goddamn idiot. And why don't you go to this person. And you know why. Because he can't so. Instead he's when i walk around so railroad track and find that you're moving on this fucking railroad tracks where else is he instill might run in silence. Tears of joy might stain my face. This is what he's hammered thinking about how much he loves her mumbling saying all the shitty should have said the now we say next to some fucking hoboken a campfire and the summer sun might burn me till i'm blind but not to wear. It cannot see you walking on the back roads by the rivers flow and gentle on my mind. Jesus christ and these songs will continue to be written until it's acceptable for a man to acknowledge. That crying is actually a viable. Fuck emotion that you supposed to use as opposed to fucking portion and go and play in a contact sport fucking you know. I don't know beating the shit out of some fucking weaker kid who then stands up and makes a bomb talk in that class. Sorry it's all connected but anyway. The song's called gentle on my mind by glen campbell. You should check it out. And i don't know if you live in that life you know it's never too late to turn it around. Maybe cheer up. That fucking waitress in arizona that i had thirty fucking look at me with nine seconds ago. Mike the milwaukee bucks here. You guys didn't think i was going to pull out a full hour. Guess what i did. That's it. That's the monday morning. Podcast go fuck yourselves. And i will check in on you on What is what does it day after wednesday. Sorry going to make it our. It's thursday bam our all right. Happy father's everybody i'll see..
"monday" Discussed on Monday Morning Podcast
"Here what i added something there is you to say it's the monday morning podcast and i want it. Is the monday morning. Podcast is if to suggest that. I'm even more impressed with myself this week than i usually am guys doing. How's your monday. Yeah you have a bad one. It's okay 'cause there's always tuesday what you guys do for actually wrote a show tune about tuesday was a blatant rip off of anti. You know you could actually play any when. I was younger when i was twelve. I could've played any. You know said fucking true. That is i really. Could've you know twelve. my voice. Eleven changed this. Big stupid fucking. You know you know is into getting into metal music. I tried to grow my hair long but it just. It was too thick back in the day. Still wish it was thick. But we're just fucking grow out an afro. i just looked like an extra unlike. Welcome back kotter. You know which is which would have been cool in the late seventies. You know. I missed my fucking wheelhouse by like i swear to god. Maybe six seven years. If i had been born stead at one thousand nine hundred sixty eight five born been born in nineteen sixty two but then you know what i would have been. I'd be fifty one right now. You know i would have started podcasting late in the game. You know beetle. Grampian candidate job on radio anyways. Somebody told me a funny joke that they had in the onion. I don't know if you guys read that that that periodical whatever the fuck you call. Newspaper photo news. Is that what it's called out of fucking no but they had something whether somebody's sitting in front of a laptop i guess with an anger anguish. Look on their face. I haven't seen it but it says something over two hundred fifty thousand podcasters stress trying to find guests for their podcast this week. What that made me feel good. That made me feel really good. Because i don't have any guest on my fucking podcasts. Rarely do i have guessed. And that's the fucking main reason. Because i don't wanna have to sit there and try to work with other people and their schedules and that type of shit and fuck it you know. I don't want to interview my friends. So what what is your middle name. I don't want to do that. And then you know they fucking bullshit then they cancel on you and then you struggling for guest and then you have somebody in there and you're like i want. This person realized that they weren't my first choice. You know speaking of which that reminds me to get back to jay more. I've been going in and out on the war on the war going in and out on the road. What i say the war because i was just reading a bunch of international shit i think and yeah he sent me a very flippant text message that they intend to address it you know classic east coast guy. He just can't ask you to be on the podcast. He has to put you on the fuck defensive. You know so. I'm gonna call him today. Try to set up a time to do his podcast. And and we'll fuck and discuss his flippant fucking text message to me which i did not appreciate all right. See that jay fucking up cross pollinate in here right fucking guy texted me. He's text to me. He comes at me with this fucking tone like i owe money whereas the fucking text message. He writes this shit like gathering. I gather be by hearing you on other people's podcast. You're back in town. Because i told him a few weeks ago he can do my podcast. They go no. I'm out of town. And then i went over to burke crisis house. I'll give you the whole fucking soap opera over per crisis. Because i'm trying to get him on our all things comedy podcast network right so i'm shooting the shit over. I'm pitching the fucking network to berkshire and he goes. Well this is my podcast dupouy. Fuck it let's to a podcast. So that's what happened then. J. gets his tears me on this one. I'm guessing here's beyond births and he's like i thought this guy said he's outta town..
"monday" Discussed on Monday Morning Podcast
"Hanging over his belt. Fat when your belt buckle is heating up from the back side of your stomach the belly when you sit down and the cat when you drive with the air conditioning on full blast even at night. It's probably a good idea that you maybe need to drop some weight. You know when you get undressed at night and your wife sees the fucking your hips there. And she goes what happened to you. Did you get into a fight now. That was just me being too stubborn to move up a notch on the belt. That's what those red welzer about. Whatever see this right here. This is called fat shaming you sell my own corn amount of fat shaving myself. All right there. Billy cupcake. Hey billy sprinkles heo ice cream scope fucking layoff the sherbert. Well you i've actually. I don't think i've ever tried more than a mouth and a half full of sherbert. In my life i ate it. I'm like that. Dan that is to fuck and tangy and it doesn't give me the sugar right rush. Fuck this shit and you know what. Maybe that was my big mistake. Let's look this up right before. I get out of here. Sherbert healthy is sherbert. Healthy most schubert's in sorbets sore bets sorbet have about the same number of calories light or low fat or nonfat ice cream or frozen yogurt but what they lack in fat they make up for in suga which in my opinion makes them no healthier. Who the fuck wrote that. They wrote it june ninth. Two thousand ten they just drop the mic. The scoop on low fat frozen treats learned the difference between light ice cream sherbert sober. I don't wanna read all of this. Jesus christ it's written by a woman named joyce. Oh tell me. She's going to get to the point quickly and to to further elaborate joy. Could you come up here. Every guy's head in the room fuck looks like we're not getting a lunch today. Looks like we're working through lunch. All right okay everybody. That's the podcast. There's no joy in listening to somebody named joy described something. stop jane. please listen to the music. And then there's a bonus. Thursday afternoon just before friday. Monday morning podcast Have a great weekend. You constant joined the hockey. I'm still pulling for the vegas nights. But i got damaged man. I'll tell you you're in las vegas right now. You have to be fucking staring into your crack. Pipe being like what the fuck i. we'd be up two gangsta. You're crawling around. That motel rudd look for nugget another nugget. Sorry all right. that's it. I'll talk to you guys on monday..
"monday" Discussed on Monday Morning Podcast
"No it isn't. It's time for the monday morning. Podcast what am i doing what am i doing. I'll cheese the birthday week. I'm so full of cake. I don't you know what. I'm saying the monday morning. Podcast for monday for monday. June thirteenth to june fourteenth out gives a shit. I'm so full of cake. I even hip fuck and reset at this point a race and start over again. This is what it is. Oh billy frost and face. I've eaten so much fucking cake this month with all the birthdays. You know. I just had this thing where i got like three close friends. My wife and myself all have birthdays. And it's just it's been nothing but cake and then I by the way. I had the greatest birthday of my life This past week it was just it was phenomenal. just had the best day and As much as i was telling about you on saturday you know everything that i happened That night my lovely wife was taken me out to dinner. She didn't tell me where and i was. Just you know. I didn't ask her. Where so we're we're we're on our way to the restaurant she goes you know. Aren't you surprised you haven't even asked me where we're going. I want to be like. I understand it surprise. I'm not trying to ask questions to ruin it. Because that's what my wife does she. Just ask questions. She fucking colombo's me. I get it's a surprise but you know what there's just one what thing. And then she asked me the thing and then she figure out what it was. And then i would get upset. I think that's like a sport for you. Don't they don't like that. You can surprise sir. Okay because that means that you could trick them if you can trick them. The doors wide open free to do it fucks with their own security. That's this shit. This shit is like listen. you can go. You can pick up as much heavy shit around me as you like. That doesn't scare me. Okay if you start winning in a cerebral way on any level i cannot fuck can handle it so i think that that's what the game is. I don't know why. But anytime. I try to surprise her with the gift. She just figures it out. It's so fucking annoying. And she knows it bothers me and she just. She can't get enough of it. She loves it right so anyway. We're go to this restaurant. I don't know where i'm going. I know she just said hey. I'm taking you out to dinner. And she didn't say where so mmediately. Click to me. Well obviously it's a surprise. So i was just like all right. How should i address because you know just casual but nice cool but warm summary but what if it snows right casual but nice got it right so i dressed that way. We're driving over there over and over. You know having a good time and shit and then she just goes. I'm surprised you haven't asked where you're going. And i just laughed and i was like well. I figured it was surprise. If i ask questions do you want me to figure it out. And she laughed and she said no so we were on our way over there and we went by some italian restaurant and my wife was like. I didn't know they have one of those there. They got one of those in the valley too. I didn't know that must be like a chain or something i go. They have good italian. She said yes. Well my favorite chicken parm and the city is that dan tennis and then i immediately went like why did you say that. Because she's most likely taking you to a different restaurant and you just kind of said your favorite restaurant is that place and that dish right. Why would you say that you dumb. fuck right. And lo and behold. She doesn't say anything. I'm like all right. Is she being cool. Is it going to come back and bite me in my pasty freckled asks. What's going to happen right well. Wouldn't you know we pull up to dan. Tana's like you gotta be kidding me. Take me to dan. Tana's she smiled. She goes yeah all right so then we walk up to the place. People got mass on. Its shit doing whatever she goes right. I'm going to go in and check in. Just stand outside. So i say okay. I know you guys all know where this is going to stupid right so i'm just like all right. I'll stand side so you could have like outdoor sees so we go. We walk around the back. And i come around the back and i see joe barton ext mustache moustachioed face and like the fuck. Is he doing here. And then i look over. And i see my father-in-law. Like oh my god all like supply. That's what they did that in yell surprise every just what which is funny. 'cause no strangers didn't know there was a surprise party they all just looking like. Oh no these people are gonna be this loud and it was awesome. It was like everybody that i loved was there. I always wanted to surprise party. I was just always to fucking walled off and whatever it just never happened for me. You know you put the this is certain type of person that they throw a surprise party. For and i'm not that person so i don't know what happened this year. But she did it. And i had a great time and then afterwards she was like did you like it. Were you joying. And i was like yeah. She goes okay. Because the couple times i was looking at your face and you didn't seem like you were joy to i was just like jesus.
"monday" Discussed on Monday Morning Podcast
"Said. They could be freed by later on monday tuesday after remission for good behaviour and due to time already served awaiting their sentences. The fuck broke down and cried cried. All right let me tell you something. I don't know much. I don't know much about going to prison. But i know you don't wanna fuck and cry going into prison. I don't think you want to do that. I really don't unless maybe they're crying. Because maybe they just dip putting them into the regular jail with all the fucking rapist and that type of shit and they got somehow not get fucked in the ass until monday tuesday. Jesus christ the calories you would burn just by stressing that someone was gonna fucking rape you and the goddamn booty hole in order to make i would just think the quivering alone would be like walking on a treadmill at like three point. One i don't want to get into. That was a joke right. Is that fucking failed. Comic turn blogger going to give me shit about it you know. I did comedy for a minute and wasn't successful. And these are the jokes that i think people should be doing. Did you guys see that thing with jim. Norton was on with that that blogger person. I was just fucking was hilarious. She was saying that comedy clubs were filled were basements filled with angry. Men and she was coming off is quite angry herself. The whole thing was fucking hilarious and this is the thing about. People will get offended by comedy. I wanna see somebody get outside of their own box you know. I want to see the fat person in the crowd. Get offended by. I don't know i don't know what. Pick a topic a different topic. I'm trying to think okay. A fat guy get offended by misogynistic material. Have the dog lover. The pita person get offended by fucking. I know rape jokes. Whatever whatever the fuck out gives a fuck who goes to a comedy club and takes joke seriously especially as a standup comedian. You know what i mean. I'd just for the life of me. I'll never fucking understand that. I i had the right when i came up to fucking talk about whatever i wanted to talk about and i failed miserably flailed and i made big mistakes and i offended people in the crowd and all of that fucking shit but that was all part of learning to become a comic finding what it is. You're supposed to be doing on stage as part of the learning process so to try and fuck and just cut that off. I don't know. I think it was really just a publicity stunt. You know when you write open letter to white male comics right there. How how much harder could be trying to be like a lightning rod. Fucking get them. Hey i played guitar for like six seven years. And i'm offended by the cords. Eric clapton is using ed. If you listen to this angry blogger. I'm just fucking around. It's just jokes before you get your fucking pants an goddamn bunch again. But maybe that's what you should do and then you can get on another talk show and discuss comedy anyways plowing ahead by the way of thought. Jim was great on it. I thought he was fucking. I thought he was tremendous. All right there we go. What else am i talking about here. I sold lemonade. Streetside flake three weeks when i was a kid and I would like to talk to the people at lipton ice tea about some of the things that they're doing with their iced tea and lemonade. You know i don't like the arnold palmer. I feel that they should be separate all right. I'm sorry what am i talking about it. Let's get back to the podcast all right. Can we do that. Bill for the love of fucking god apologies to the chicago blackhawks. By the way my apologies chicago blackhawks. I thought the kings. We're going to beat you guys. I really did like damn. I'm like don't even act like he didn't age. Turn both of those games. Since the last time. I said that. And i gotta tell you. A lot of blackhawk fans really confident. Talking a lot of shit on my twitter. It's almost as if the bruins didn't just sweep the fucking pittsburgh penguins. I guess that doesn't mean anything to them. I'm impressed with the way that they beat. The la kings evidently then not to impress with sweeping the pittsburgh penguins by the way that anybody watch the after the bruins one. Did anybody. watch the sidney crosby press conference that dude would not give it up to the bruins on any fucking level whatsoever. They'd be like you know you were held scoreless. You had zero points through four games in a playoff game. That's never happened to you. Ever in the history of your being the wayne gretzky of right. Now why do you think that was. He's just like i don't know i was weird. It was like you know. I don't know. Do you think it was the goaltending on the other team. He's like now. I wasn't it i don't think so when the goaltending we had our opportunities and just wouldn't go in. What do you think. Maybe they block the shots and they they were playing it now. That wasn't that when that..
"monday" Discussed on Monday Morning Podcast
"Is podcasts. Everybody by gas everybody. Thank you so much for joining. Yes but enjoy the music picked up by andrew bemba's which should be so fucking skid row but doing it right and then They'll be a bonus half hour footage of a thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning. Podcast from few years ago. Whatever that's how it works. That's it happy birthday to me. Happy for all right. Happy birthday to anybody else's birthday out there and the rest you relax your day's coming. Hey what's going on. its bill burr. And it's the monday morning podcast for monday. June tenth two thousand and thirteen. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to be happy birthday. You ran on to me. What's going on. Uh sorry this year older. i'm excited. This is the first time i've been doing. Been doing this. Podcast for six years and not once has the the podcasting god's ever graced me with the podcast that actually fell on my birthday. And i'm going to go out on a limb here. And i'm going to say despite the fact that there are over. Seven thousand. Four hundred fifty eight podcasts. On my street alone that i am the first podcast to ever host a fucking podcast on his birthday. I'm putting that out there. All right you can go. Whoa wikipedia google it or do whatever the fuck you want to do with it. I'm telling you on the first one. Whoever did it these other guys and women who said that they did it. They're just talking all right. That's just talk over there. I'm actually doing it so what you think right now. You like out bill. it's your birthday. I question everybody asks. How old are you now. I'm forty five. Me tastes something about the fives. All you youngsters out there. It's not the ones the twos. it's not the sevens. It's the five the five get. You know what i mean. Twenty five twenty four kind of scares but twenty five. Faulk go sliding into thirty. You know. that's when you're you're right on top of the fence there the fucking berlin wall you know. Which way am i going to fall. free side. The countryside right aging is like it's like reverse progress so you would actually when you get to the fives you fall back over into fucking post world war two germ. I guess from now until forever. It's going to be post world. War two bill. What you know what fuck talking about. Whenever they put up that goddamn wall. When did they put it up. Put it up during a kennedy was it. Nineteen forty eight. Was that israel fucker. Remember thirty five was a bitch. They all suck. I'm not gonna do. They all suck but thirty five was a bitch and now forty five sliding into fifty. Does that even make sense. I still doing pull ups. How can i be forty five. What i'm still doing pull ups. That doesn't make any fucking sense. Because when i was a kid old people nobody actually. Nobody worked out when i was a kid. Nobody's strength like. I've never seen my dad trying to touch his toes my entire fucking life. I never seen him do a jumping. Jack i never saw his friends not. They just rolled out of bed. You know sat on the side of the bed for a second going ahead and then they get up. Brush your teeth. Take a shower for us. Close bacon and eggs and go out to work and then they fucking come home. Walk through the door and be like all right i call. Everybody would shut the fuck up and they'd sit down and they eat fucking beef stew and then they go in the living room. They'd sit down in. That chair is fucking tired. What what did you do today. Listen i'm tired. Okay all right. Just go to your room. You know. Then they'd watch a little bit. Tv right now within two hours the fucking head was just back right and that was that there was no working out whatsoever. There was maybe like two people who could do still do pull ups at forty five. When i was a kid and it was like johnny weissmuller and that guy did the juicer who use address like arthur funds rallying when he worked on cars on happy days. A want to three o'clock. That i tell you this i actually. I can't remember because i did that. That quick podcasts. The middle of the week. I did an episode of nick kroll show. And i got to work with ron howard's dad and he was. He was in cool hand luke and he actually told me stories about being in the I guess he's in the had a small role and he's in the last scene. Were cool hand luke. For those of you are evans. Seen it yet spoiler alert all right. Stick your fingers in your ears and go or for the next bucket. Ten seconds right. 'cause i wanna shit and the end of the movie when cool hand luke gets shot in the church. He's part of the cops taken out and then that what we've got here. That guy says now we'll take him from here in that scene absolutely legendary and he said they shot up in bakersfield california. So there you go and the guy was hilarious. And he was eighty five years old improv and still sharp as hell was awesome. Great great guy. So thanks to crawl show in nick kroll. Forget me on. Because if he didn't. I wouldn't have had that experience and please watch the kroll show because i think that was a fucking genius they go. That's my plug for the we look at that on my birthday. Hyping somebody else's project that that isn't right at all. It's very generous way being a martyr. Bill don't cry for me fucking billy. I'm gonna. I'm gonna hide something right now. Pay built nobody stopping you. It's just stupid podcast. All right fucking grumpy. Count.
"monday" Discussed on Monday Morning Podcast
"They lost. It. Is and ice play at first to get Mickey Mantle. Mickey Mantle. Twenty years old at this point just taken over for Joe Day. And call them a Mel Allen's doing the game and he's he guy comes up to the plate. Batting left handed hits a home run. Two innings later comes up, hits a base it to drive in a run, and they key called the magnificent Mickey Twenty year old. Nobody knew nobody knew what this kid was going to be so anyway. They lost to the Yankees in one, thousand, nine, hundred nineteen. Forty seven in seven games. They lost in five games in forty nine. They lost in seven games. In fifty two and they lost in six games in fifty three. And at that point people like well. They're never gonNA fuck and beat him and then in nineteen fifty five. Giants want fifty four beat the Cleveland Indians in fifty four. They beat him. They beat the Yankees in in Seven Games! Unbelievable so Brooklyn got their championship, and then unfortunately the dodgers left I think in fifty, seven, fifty, eight, fifty, nine at Los Angeles dodgers won the world series. and in sixty, three and sixty five and all those. Titles would have been in Brooklyn. That would have been so cool if they still had the three teams there. We had the Brooklyn dodgers. The New York giants playing in the Polo grounds, but What do I have to do I hit forced fucking quit. Dude. I don't know what the I'm beside myself. I just hit force fucking quit. I can't force. quit at a messenger. Now it doesn't even show up. I'm taking this. I'm taking this fucking APP and I'm dragging it over to the fucking trash once I get all my numbers back. That's what the Fuck Am. I got most of my back, but what I'm doing is putting in them into my computer. As I get that Dad Dad Dad. That's what I'm doing. So anyway I'm watching this. Game Seven nineteen fifty two world series. Okay? The Red Sox have broken the curse. You know we want what we want we want. One, two, three, four, four, right, buried the curse. We're back, right. We're doing what we do. Every century we went five in the early part. We're in four or five early, and then when then we take it easy. Take Gate Asia. You know it'd be funny. Because a lot of people who wouldn't be funny. He's a Red Sox Fan, but I won't be I'm going to be around to see it for the rest of the century. Although! I plan on making the seventies again. I'll be one hundred one years old and twenty seventy. Anyway. One of the major reasons they tried to say that the red sox didn't win it. They had all these fucking things they were cursed all that stupid fucking Shit, and then there was the real reasons. Okay, the ballpark the way the ballpark was built, and how we would always try to Oh my God. If we get a power hitter, fucking right handed hitter. He's GonNa hit ninety home runs. Never happened. They just pitch some low and inside, and he ground into a double play every fucking time to end the inning. But the major reason why was side of Beck? We just weren't organization. In the Yankees were phenomenal organization. Was We also were the last team to integrate? So what I'm thinking. What would be wild can imagine if that repeated itself. This century with the Red Sox won four or five before nine hundred twenty. We want five last century this year. This century one four now. What if? Robots? Get so lifelike. And then they have rights you know and they're protesting and like you know, we should be allowed to play in sports to right and then everybody debating, but then human element is gone I mean a robot doesn't give a fuck about you know that it's seven. He's just he's a fucking robot. And then people will be like well. You know we. would be like well. We actually did when we put a and emotion program, and we run a little higher emotion during a game seven whatever. But, what if like Seko's that way and the red sox end up being the last team to integrate? With robots? And then Dan Shaughnessy great grandson ends up writing curse. Cursive I duNno, whatever the fucking. cursor the Dave, or something like that. Whatever you, whatever you call the fucking robot. I'm sorry. So anyway. It's like four two Casey Stengel slapping fucking arms. Flipping out how bad these I love watching! How similar the game still is in who knew they had split screen technology back then? They'd have a runner on first and Mel Allen was explaining. We're GONNA. Go to the dual screen here. And the quality of the picture so poor almost looks like the guy on I is standing next to the batter. Why is that guy in the on deck? Circle that close? What if he falls off? And why is any holding up? So. What are you? What? What do you want from me, people? What do you want me to do? Do you want me watch the news? And watch that fucking over fucking dumb Cont! That's racist. Dumb count what what is fucking wrong with that guy? It's going to have a rally in Tulsa Oklahoma like you know. I don't off. I. Just you know with with any with any luck. The guy just slips on a banana peel. I don't wish death on anyone, he slips on a banana peel, and then it's just basically Whatever is in command guy is versus the the guy there. The boring guy you know we kind of get past this guy because I can handle conservative, I can handle liberal thought. I can handle both of them to a fucking point, but you can't have a fucking. You will. Will people still vote them in? Great again. He's proud of what happened in also. I mean. How much do you love you fucking money that you're that you're able to fucking sleep at night. fucking, you know. It's literally. It's like watching sports. It's like me sitting here right now. Rudy hits the fucking Yankee who gives us. They already have the title. The flag has been flying over there from sixty eight fucking years and I'm still rooting against the..
"monday" Discussed on Masturbation Monday
"My phone buzzed in my hand. Tricia Hey macy are you into Yoga Studio. I'm just leaving. Why stop and look at the Bulletin Board? I'm already in the car. What is it? There's a fundraiser tonight. For the domestic abuse shelter. You have to to go with me. Come on sis you always drag me two things last minute I do but you always have fun. We'll have another crazy Z.. Sister Story to tell your chicken are you. I hated it when she called me that she's done it since we were kids. I'm available what time time I'll pick you up seven thirty. Make sure you bring your checkbook and lots of one dollar bills wait for what mm-hmm for tipping the. You're taking me to a strip club not exactly how not exactly. There is a strip club stage and there will be bodies to Byu. She yanked my chain hard now Tricia Tricia an Williams okay okay. A group of firefighters sponsor the event to make a nude calendar they create an individual will act with some holiday music and scenes you know like for the backdrop of their photo the audience members select the top twelve to get on the calendar by voting with their wallet and the top contributor to each firefighter gets a date with him. When you're gonNa tell me all of this You weren't going to worry you bed cell reception. I'll see you at seven thirty PM. TRICIA as usual promptness prevailed and when I saw her caring look all was forgiven mulder system and make me crazy with all her schemes but she was the most big hearted person I know. The entire community supported local fundraisers especially if they thought that skin would be on display. It was as much much social event. As a moneymaker Tristesse description had been accurate. The Strip club had been classed up the stripper. Poles were decorated. It wouldn't matter. Everyone focused on stage to the men teasing us. In their performance. Each man commanded attention and some were more sexually sexually provocative than others. The audience was alive as a living thing. I laughed and yelled until the arrival of one particular. Go on the stage. Who stole my breath away? He may have been introduced his todd the Rod but I knew him as the new guy from my yoga class who sprawled his matt next to me. I had lusted after him for weeks and hadn't found the courage to speak as todd appeared on stage. wjr Strands of white light. Dropped from the ceiling. Music blared his costume. If you can call hand held props costume was art inspired. He reminded me of a male version of a burlesque dancer in a setting like the garden of Eden or on stage in the play a midsummer. Summer night dream erotic and seductive. He was the most forward contestant is he was naked and using his props to hide the enticing icing parts and like in class his skin glistened highlighting the detail every visible muscle. That was my invitation to watch and it Ms Marai's me the crowds hooping and hollering increased as he began to interact individually with audience members. And then he pointed his finger at me hesitant began but the crowd would have none of it. Hands on my back pushed me forward right up to the stage. Todd's suggestive movements hypnotize me and my arousal grew as it moved through my body audie. I tasted it in my mouth. I had lusted after this body in every yoga class. And now I fixated on all his sexual goodness todd held his prop like figleaf over as cock move to the edge of the stage in lean down to my ear. You have to help help me. He stood and danced around the stage. Men returned to me in bend over again. What I screamed? They bet me the rookie that I couldn't get on the calendar. The music tempo changed and he danced a Jig. I laughed and gave him a thumbs up when I got a glimpse absolutely goods and I- throbbed time with the music. This man was so at ease in his body and he was sex on legs money. Give me some money. I reached into my pocket took out some dollar bills and spewed them all at his feet. It's set up a giving mm frenzy. The music boomed secured in an erotic bubble with bodies pressed up against me a mostly naked muscle tone and Dan dance for me. Todd became masturbation aid Yup. I imagined his gyrations meeting my body. My hips Mike Damn I was buzzing. I was hot. He was hot fantasies of licking licking tasting and touching him. Ran Through my mind is he moved my body mirrored response to every movement he made and he grinned. I hope that everyone else was watching him and paid. No attention to me. There was no hiding my interest from him. Now I Lick Lick My lips in place. My Mom's on the stage and danced in places if I was his partner I had never been so worked up my bobbing. Rub the seem in my jeans. The right way stimulating Michael it. I was sure I would orgasm on the spot along with. Todd's Tom Body. His intense stare gave me things I never expected he will up my sexual self. I locked my gaze on him as he brought his number to a close when he blew me a kiss. My body shuddered and orgasm on the spot and todd knew it next week in Yoga class when Todd placed his matt beside mine. I revisited. My orgasmic vibrations as he sat on his matt stretching his long legs out in front of him. He looked as good does he did on stage. I took a deep breath and bolstered my nerve to speak. Congratulations Todd. I I hear you secured. You're spot on the calendar. He chuckled. Yes I did. I slid in at number twelve. He bent forward forward stretching his arms down to his toes. I thought I might incinerate watching his muscles. Flex a wonderful fans donation in. Put me over the edge really. You're GONNA be shy now are you. I felt the heat of my blush. Run up my neck. I'd like to thank you with a special date. macy my nervous giggle filled the room. What did you have in mind on? Maintaining his stretch with his hands on his ankles. He turned his head toward me. Something private even because if you can orgasm from I connection. Imagine what skin to skin contact and gadgets might do. He said with a raised eyebrow. I attempted to swallow my nerves but my dry mouth dot in the way and my words were whisper. Yes imagine the room temperature rose and I wonder if everyone heard my pulsing heart. Todd Ah did a twisting stretch from his waist. You're not chicken are you. If you love what you just heard and want more followed doctor. Jay On twitter at Dr J. Author on Facebook Look at Dr J. Author on Instagram at Dr J. Author underscore or checkout her blog at Dr J. authored dot com want more head to masturbation Monday dot Kahlil Lords Dot com for all the one handed handed reads. You can handle ooh..
"monday" Discussed on Masturbation Monday
"Explain this week. Our piece is yours by violet. Fox loquacious by Nature Violet Fox puts virtual pen to paper as the sole author of fire and honey a sex body and kink positive blog focusing on erotic roddick photography and erotic FEM dom fiction when not writing violet can be found consuming unholy amounts of coffee and and testing and reviewing sex toys. It started as a joke acute acute thing that he did to make her smile. They'd had a disconnected week. Missed calls and texts. Rescheduling dates finally really getting to be in each other's arms on Friday night tired and both a little unsure their mutual absence making them both a bit skittish. Dade talked shared some takeout and lounged. He had spontaneously grabbed the pen as she chuckled. Scrawling a hasty yours over his heart. A schoolboy moment a sweet gesture it had worked. She'd bitten her lip And straddled his lap and taken. What he showed her was hers. That was months ago back when the streets were slushy washy and the sky was gray back when he was happy and full of life and full of her now. He lay alone bands of July sun falling across his bed. Blue Sky mocking him. He kicked the sheets off. Lay there naked. Just listening to his alarm unaffected by. Its tone he'd been awake for hours when she she was around. His mornings had been bright. He was eager to wake up to see her sleeping keen to make her tea and cuddle her to him in the soft Pale brightness of their winter mornings entwined. She had been gone now longer than they've been together but she was still the only real real that played in his head. The bleak heated. The bedroom sapped his energy but he could not ignore the tightly coiled urge in his abdomen. The way is ball's ached. And how cock stiffened in Bob when he thought of her. This was his morning routine. Now wake up feeling shattered. Resent the sunshine and wish for the gloom furiously masturbate and then shower his memories sent him swirling swirling as he began to stroke himself his spit slathered hand. Pump confidently down a shaft. A dramatic tug at the head as he came back up his mind of flickerings trope fleeting snippets of her her eyes and hands her voice that time he fingered angered her in a taxi. The way they kissed how cool is had been when she told him it was over the lush rush wetness. Every time he'd plunged into her the cloth of her coat under his hands the last time he'd hugged her the tired way she'd he'd told him good by the way her hair smelled the knocking in his chest when he called and heard a man's voice in the background his chest and stomach were wet with come his Choke to deep purple in his fist. The tip of his tongue bitten hard as he panted the rage in shame. An aching pain flood through him and and was gone as quickly as it had. Come abandoning the bed. He crossed the apartment and stepped under the shower. The familiar you're staying on. His chest was almost comfort. He soaked himself methodically and watched as scalded skin. Turn Red as is if the heat and lather could wash away. Anything of consequence towel off. Brush teeth staring into the mirror. Try to make sense. Why his hands shook and his ears filled with the rushing. Sound the blood. His internal monologue was always always the same at this point in routine comforted by the regularity of it terrified that he needed it not today. Just stop it doesn't matter it won't feel good. It won't feel like anything at all. This says crazy. Stop it just once more. Today is the last day tomorrow will be different. He knew it was silly to hide the blade on himself as if it would slow his hands from finding it in the drawer behind the allergy. Tablets glinting darkly as he brought it out his movements measured and frighteningly calm even to himself. He often wondered what she'd say. She saw him if she was suddenly in the doorway behind him rumpled from sleep wearing his t shirt with their eyes meet in the mirror as the blood rush to the surface of his skin. Skin would be appalled frightened. Honored or aroused. Which you WanNa know that each morning he. He carved the Y. O. U. R. S. into his chest because he still felt he. It was hers which he lapped the blood from his chest and press her lips to his thundering heart which he back away slowly and disappear again he watched his hand traced the wound. He tend to daily the word. He kept opening his flesh. Just in case just in case she ever wanted to know how he felt what he was because surely if he had the chance to tell her he would never find a better word than yours if.
"monday" Discussed on Masturbation Monday
"This week. Our piece is New Year's resolution by Sarah Helena. Heart Sarah Selena heart also known as China doll. Three twenty is a twenty year old submissive who loves reading writing her dog and Bedia Sam. She's a self professed. Nerd watches too much net flicks and loves musical theater. Helena knelt before master as he used her mouth after the semester ended. He told her to stay with him and to tell her parents parents that her adviser had hired her as a paid intern for his book. It was news thrilled her mother but her father had immediately. We asked about her housing situation. Her master had told her to say that since it was a paid academic internship the school would pay for housing housing that appeased her father and here. She was living at the foot of her master day in and day out. He brushed a piece of hair out of her eyes. You wanted me to set your New Year's resolution and I've decided I want you to work out more. Your stamina needs a boost pet and while I love using your sleepy policy. I want you alert for more of our games. She nodded audited and licked the underside of his hard cock. Luckily for you there is a gym in this building and a room for private but sessions. He thrust deep into her making her eyes water once. I'm done here. We'll go down your workout clothes or on on my bed. He unloaded in her mouth and she swallowed every drop. He pulled out brought her up for for a quick kiss and smacked her ass. Go Change meet me by the door in a minute. Downstairs in the basement. Helena was surprised to see how Nice Jim was. Her master led her to adore in the far corner and ushered her through it. He flipped looked on a light and she found herself in a small yoga studio with mats covering the floor and mirrors everywhere lie down. He said she did and he lifted her legs into the air positioning himself between them. She could feel the heat of his cock through his workout workout shorts and her super thin leggings and she felt herself begin to get wet again an instinct. He trained her in. Since her first detention he leaned forward pressing them further apart in pulses until he kept them as far apart as they go from a good workout always requires a good stretch beforehand. He let her go and grab one leg replacing her ankle on her on his shoulder while he lay the other leg straight on the ground he leaned over her pressing her leg against her until she was essentially doing upside down split this time. She felt the weight of him between her thighs and couldn't help but moan home good girl said switching legs. I bet you WANNA be of service again don't you. Yes S. Master. She whispered unsure of whether the security camera in the top corner was on. If you're a good girl and finish your workout up maybe a reward you with my cock in your eager pussy would you like that. Yes master good girl. He kissed her in Rockdale hips ones. Then let's begin..