20 Episode results for "Miss Pat"

Money, with Roxane Gay, Ms. Pat, and Shiza Shahid

How It Is

29:15 min | 2 years ago

Money, with Roxane Gay, Ms. Pat, and Shiza Shahid

"Hello sunshine, low Sasha. Hello. Central gotta make hay while the sunshine. What's this? This is Hello. Sunshine. What is by sharing our stories? We could change the world. Welcome to Hello sunshine. I'm Diane Guerrero and this is how it is the show where you hear women tell their own stories in their own words where unfiltered real and totally ourselves. We are back with a brand new season all about value. And on this episode, we're talking about a topic that can make people feel little nervous money, your Queen. The own. Deserve to be wait deserve to be. On a on me hint there. Hello? I'm so glad you're here. Did you miss me? I've missed you this season. Our theme is values the value of our money, the value of our time, the value of our work, the value of play and how we incorporate our values into our life every day because there are so many assumptions about what we value and how we are value. Joining us this season to talk about our values will be some incredible women including the artists, Chantal Martin. The activists is seal Richards, and, oh yeah. The woman who has scored the most soccer goals in the world Abby Wambach you guys are in for a treat, not gonna lie. Deserve to be. One of the most obvious ways you're valued is in cold hard cash, which let's be honest, making money is pretty great, and what what's that line that Cardi says, alright million pills was my pet. I like the ones that look like stats. I like born took it apple. Doc saw him now was so today we're talking about the value of money, having it getting it, spending it saving it. We're going to hear from three women who learned about the value of a dollar in very different ways. Author Roxane gay. The venture capitalist Shizue Shah head and our first guest, the comedian miss Pat. The funny thing about money is how we value it changes all the time, right? Like, what does it even mean to have enough money. Let's talk about money. I got money to spend in here. So your family's rich, we're comfortable. That is exactly what a super rich person say. The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God grateful pay the bills. We'd all be Bill Gates. So what do you want money? Every cent when a man gives you money, you give him control. It's just money, man, woman, who cares? It's fluid, someone needs it. You give you needed tonk it. I would feel better about giving me the money. If you went to a therapist, you buy your two year old daughter eighty dollar shoes from France, and you just giving me a hard time. I'm uncomfortable with this conversation. We shouldn't be talking about money. Why not? We talk about everything else. I have a comfortable life now, but listen, I've been broke before. I, I remember when I was first working as an actor in New York in an have enough money to for my metro card to pay for the subway. So I needed to get back and forth from audition. So I would stand outside the turnstile and just wait for people to come out to see if someone would give me a free swipe own my goodness. It was so embarrassing, but it's like you had to do what you had to do and believe me girl. I was going to get to that addition. I was always hungry because I was always eating just the cheapest thing I could find. I mean, you know a couple of noodles the dollar menu for McDonald's, but I think I learned a lot from those days. I can't say that I wish that on anybody, but I will say that having nothing really push me to take risks because I mean, what did I have to lose? I didn't have a security net. My parents had been deported. I had no family, and I really had to hustle if I wanted to chase my dreams. So I fully respect the struggle. I got my life back together. Y'all. I went through the welfare to work program, and I don't know if y'all familiar with the welfare to work program with us a lot like diabetes. If the momma gated that's a good chance or daughter might get it. Mama. Got it. My sister got at my niece's got agony. Comedian and author, Pat Williams learned about making money as a little kid in Atlanta where she was raised in a bootleg house, which is basically an underground bar where people go to get drunk for cheap back. Then miss Pat was called rabbit, and now she's written a memoir of the same name. Her book is an example of how determination, a sense of humor and a whole lot of love can get you through anything that life throws at you even if you have zero money. And I mean zero money now rabbit lives on as an alter ego, but miss Pat is still making it happen. She's developing a TV show she towards the country, making us all laugh with her very real stories about growing up, eating ketchup, sandwiches, and something she calls chicken s. When I was a child money meant more to me than anything. My first memory money is when we lived in a bootleg house, what my grandfather and my momma would have me go in and take the drunk people while it out of their back pocket. And for every wallet I stole she would give me a dollar which was a lot of money in seventy nine. You know, I could go down the street and play pacman. Pacman had just came out seventy nine eighty. So you know if I still firewall that's five dollars, that's a lot of money kids in the hood in have five dollars back then. So I was really reach. I can stay man machine all day. My name was all up and down pacman machine. So you know is not something that I look forward to. It was something that she forced me to do. But in return I got a dollar per wallet, which was a lot of money. You know, it meant I could go to the store and I buy candy. I can go to the store and I could buy me something e I. Stay away from the bootleg house all day because I hate it being in that house because it was full of people. So if I may five dollars, I was going all day. So in a lot. I became a mother at fourteen and I don't care how old you are when you have a baby, we all got Molly is thinking those any minds just woke up and I started to realize is not me anymore. I'm a kid now. I'm in eighth grade seven, eighth grade. I was like, I gotta protect his child. Indiana started thinking about what I had been through. My daughter didn't know I was there young until she was in eighth grade as she did a a family tree as she's my mom is twenty eight and teaches stopped her, say, there's no way your mom is this young. That means y'all fourteen years apart. My daughter says she looked around the clubs, like y'all, my mind, twenty eight. There's like no, Alabama fifty. My daughter came home and said, my teacher say, you can't be twenty eight. That's when I realized. Oh my God. I had two kids at fifteen. Because I never thought about it with my life was so phased that I never really thought about how young I was other than when I went to prison for selling drugs. So you know, when I turned my life around, I had to go to her the hardest thing I had to go to her apology. I said, I'm sorry, I did the best I could do. I was fourteen she was there when I got shot. She was there when the daddy beat me. So I had a lot of policy is to do, and I told her, I said, I did my best, but you know her my first son there, so proud of me because they was there for the struggle. My son read the book one day and he said he said, because he was he was he was in impalpable. He's like, I had no idea that you've been through what you went through and he was crying and I was like, what's wrong? He's like rich a book. And that's the sun. I didn't know you could read. I learned the right way to make money is when I met my husband and he was, you know, you just got out of the military. He was working at Simmons mattress, and I'm selling drugs. I'm fortune checks. He was like, yo, why don't you get a real job? He say, you know what? You force those people checks, you hurting them and I'm like, I'm I'm hurting them. I don't know them. He said, how would you like to go to your account in somebody? Don't miss up all your money and I never thought about it that away. And he was like, you can. He said, he said, you can earn more than anybody can give you. And I'm like, no, no, no, you know, this is how we do this. He's like, no, do you want to change? And I was like, well, how do I do it? He say, get a job. I was like, a job don't know about he worked. I want got a job at McDonnell making four dollars and seventy five cents. Now I never felt so humiliated in my life. But he also told me he said, what? If you die get killed in the street, who don't take your keys? You wanna see your kids with your kids father. So I was willing to suck up my pride and go make those four dollars and seventy five, six in our to make a change in my life. I do have a have a bit about my. I of keys been Medicaid keys in my second set of kids, but my husband been Blue Cross Blue shield kids, and I tell you when I finally got healthcare other than he Medicaid, I felt so proud to be able to go in there and pull out a car to say, I'm married to somebody that cares about their family, all married to somebody that take care of. I got healthcare, never thought I would have a healthcare call other than Medicaid, and I tease my keys lot because you know, they had totally two different lifestyle. I mean, both of them, I think both of them had pretty good, but the Blue Cross Blue shield keys out the sale crack. They went to a better school. They went to private school. They could get braces where my medicate kids can get no braces. You know, money something up, not always had. But with these keys, you know, I was fortunate to be able to take care of them breaking that cycle and making sure they don't become what I went through teenage pregnancy. School drop-out convicted felon. I spent ever done to keep them from going through what they went through when you grew up a certain way, you wanna make sure your kids don't go through what you went through. Rabbit is still in me as she. She pushes the devil out of his pay rabbit is a hustle now don't like to be call rabbit, but she's still in me. I constantly remind my kids about rabbit all the time and it's like, oh, we don't wanna hear that. But then I tell my kids, you know, when when they'll slacking, I'll say when I was your age, I did this and I did that and my pet. They had a different life and I was like, oh, yeah, that's right. But you know, without rabbit it wouldn't be no MS pet. I wouldn't have these stores that rabbit went through the struggles that MS Pat is able to tell today. When I was a child money meant more to me than anything. Now, money means to me freedom because a. I say this on stage, I don't have to eat chicken as no. Boy, if I tell people all the time that was rough. When I grew up in realize my mother was feed me that crap. And you know, I can. I can. I can eat better. I can live better. I can dress belt. I can have better things. So is freedom. And I broke the cycle the legal way. I mean, a my family. Nobody ever leave anybody anything, but maybe a section they certificate. My dream is to leave each one of my keys a house, then some money. So it means finance need a lot to me. I don't wanna be in. I don't want anybody. You know as a first generation American, I think about that all the time about how to Bill generational wealth for someone like me or miss Pat. The statistics are pretty terrifying in America for every one hundred dollars in white family wealth, black families who just five dollars and four cents. And for the average Dottino family, it would take eighty four years to amass the same amount of wealth white Ganley's have today. We also learned from his shot, hit our investment expert that just three people have more money than fifty percent of most Americans combined. Ladies. I'm kind of obsessed with self care rituals these days between work and taking care of things at home and the million other things that women have to manage every day. There's a lot going on. I know I have to take care of myself. So every morning I drink my green juice and I hugged my dog. Penny penny, she's here and I take my vitamins. What's something that you do every morning? Here's something to think about. Did you know that ninety five percent of women do not get the vitamins and minerals they need on a daily basis ninety five percent. That's basically all of us buying lots of unnecessary vitamins can be expensive and annoying. So ritual has made it an obsessively research smarter vitamin with nine essential ingredients that women are missing. Most like k. two d three b, twelve and boron. Did you know you needed boron and it's delivered right to your door. So you never run out, go to ritual dot com slash how it is to choose vitamins with cleaning. Gradients backed by science. That's right. I said science, sign up now at ritual dot com. Slash how it is. Shizuka is the co, founder of the Malala fund, a global nonprofit whose mission is to secure access to girls' education worldwide. These days she's putting her energy into funding entrepreneurs with a social mission through the venture capital fund. Now ventures. And today she came by to remind us that we hold the power to make change in the world. Women do. So I spent my childhood and my adults since volunteering in women's prisons in microfinance and micro enterprise. I worked in a camp for internally, displaced people when a massive earthquake hit back, Assan killing about seventy thousand people. I was living at a time when back down had a military dictator who was taking away many civil liberties, and I became quite active in protesting those moves and demanding social Justice. So when I was about fourteen, I began volunteering with an organization that was creating programs for women around microfinance and micro enterprise. These were women that lived in in the slums around the city. So you know, they had very little and many of them were working in households as domestic help and everything. About their life was tenuous, you know, even their homes weren't permanent structures. They were living on essentially borrowed land and an any day could be forced to vacate. And so everything was so uncertain in their lives. And I remember this one woman in particular whom we gave alone to along with some business training, and she used that loan to start a corner shop to lift her family out of debt and to send her three daughters to school despite all the uncertainty, despite all the things that we take for granted that she didn't have that she was going to choose to make a better life for her daughter's that stayed with me. And this was a pattern that we saw over and over again on one that the Davis supported that when you empowered a woman to earn a dollar, she invested eighty to ninety percent back into her family and her community. It was typically thirty to forty percent for men. So if there's a silver bullet and fighting poverty, it's economically empower women. Yes, it is so satisfying to know that the research bears this out. Empowering women financially is the way to change the world. We know how it is. Listeners are some smart boss ladies and you're always looking for more smart people to hire. You know what's not smart job sites that overwhelm you with tons of the wrong resumes, but you know what is smart ZipRecruiter. Unlike other job sites, ZipRecruiter doesn't wait for candidates to find you. ZipRecruiter finds them for you. It's powerful matching technology skins, thousands of resumes, identifying people with the right skills, education, and experience for your job and actively invites them to apply. So you get qualified candidates fast, no more sorting through the wrong resumes. No more waiting for the right candidates to apply. It's no wonder that ZipRecruiter is rated number one by employers in the US. And right now how it is. Listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free at ZipRecruiter dot com. Slash how it is. That's ZipRecruiter, dot com. Slash h. o. w.. I t. I s. ZipRecruiter the smartest way to hire. So now we get to talk to someone very empowered. We are about to hear from the one, the only Roxane gay. Roxanne is the author of a bunch of bestsellers, including bad feminist difficult women and hunger for newcomers to Roxanne's work. Well, let me just say, I'm jealous. I'm jealous that you get to have the experience of reading her for the first time, Roxanne learned the value of her words pretty early on in her writing career, and one of the five of bazillion things I love about her is that when it comes to getting paid, she is never willing to compromise. I've been writing since I was four years old, and in my twenty s I wrote a few essays and I wrote many, many bad stories, but I started to really gain traction with my writing career while I was getting my PHD at Michigan technological university in Houghton Michigan, and I just started writing blog posts and someone at a website called HTML giant, saw those blog posts and invited me to contribute there. Then someone at a website called the rumpus saw what I was writing for HTML giant, and then someone at salon, what I was writing at the rumpus and then at the guardian they saw what I was writing at salon, and then the New York Times I what I was writing at the guardian. And so each writing opportunity parlayed, it was not until I started writing for salon that I was paid for my writing. And the first piece I wrote, I was paid fifty dollars for at salon. So I was living on a graduate student stipend and student loans. While I was. Living in a small apartment in Michigan, just writing whenever I could when I started to see how many people were reading my work in the various online outlets that I was publishing in. I started to realize there is value to what I'm saying. And in general, whenever I published something somewhere, I do ask for the analytics because it helps me to make a stronger case for the next time that someone comes to me with an offer. You know, we live in a capitalist society. So in general, it's what the market will bear. And I look at what men are being paid, and I ask for that and sometimes more. I think it's really hard to figure out what you're worth as a writer because most outlets pay such a pittance. And so it was when I no longer needed the money that I decided to set a dollar amount that was ridiculous, which is generally three to four dollars a word. And I picked that number because it takes time and energy and effort to right, and if you can't pay that, that's totally fine, but I don't need the work. And so for me, that was a good number where I could narrow down because I was getting so many opportunities and I just couldn't I hate saying, no. So I found a different way to say, no, it's a little passive aggressive, but it's also what I believe I'm worth. There are plenty of great writers in the world. We both know it. And so it's not that I think I'm that specialist just this is what it costs to get my words in your publication. And there are plenty of other writers who may or may not work for less, but I think more. Writers need to start holding this line so that we can lift everybody up and everyone can start making a more equitable rate wage for their writing. Like we should not be writing for less than a dollar a word. How do we do that? We do that by all holding the line. And unfortunately, there's just no real way there's always going to be someone who's like, yeah, Rick for penny a word. And so it's frustrating. In fact, a magazine, a glossy magazine recently asked me to do a profile of young actress, and they said it would be really empowering. But what I lower my rate and I said, if you really care about empowerment, you'll pay me three dollars and fifty cents a word which was a discount on my usual rate. And that was that. And I have no Gretz because my time is really valuable. And my words are valuable. I had a book deal with Ted books, an imprint of Simon and Schuster to publish a book called how to be heard, which was basically going to be a treatise on how to use your voice and make an impact. And one morning I woke up and I saw on the internet that Simon and Schuster had paid Milo Yannopoulos a quarter of a million dollars, which was many, many times more than what the hair where paying me. But that's not why I was upset and I thought about it and I just got angrier and angrier because enabling that kind of white supremacy is really unacceptable to me particularly because mile is not a true believer. He's a provocateur and so he's just doing it for attention which makes it even worse. It's one thing if you have a genuine conviction. But it's another thing when you pretend to have conviction simply because he like attention. And so I. Thought about it and I emailed my agent and I said, I don't want to work with and Shuster. I'm going to cancel this and she said, okay, and she never once questioned me and it was great. And so I canceled my contract and pay back the advance in some ways. It was scary because you know there only five big publishers and I worried about whether or not other publishers would be interested in working with me and. I just worried about what it would do to my career, but I have always had the luxury of a day job, and that has allowed me to make really solid ethical decisions about my work because my rent was being was not being paid necessarily by my writing. I think it's really hard to be consistent ethically and a world where pretty much everything is on ethical. And so I think we just make the best decisions that we can based on the current circumstances. And so it was a difficult decision, but it was also a very easy decision in that I knew I was not going to work for a company that thought it was good to do business with my low. I was in a financial position to pay back the advance, and so I did and I understood that there were other writers who wanted to pull their both from Simon and Schuster, but could not afford either career wise or financially to pull their books. And I totally understand that. You know, I think if you can't afford to say no, in the same ways, you want to be able to take the stands that you can. So it's important to take. Step back and look at your life and your circumstances, and try and decide what stands in my in a good position to make and then follow through. I think through is more important than anything else. It can be a small, STAN, just make it and stick to it. Do you hear that sound in her voice ladies? That is the sound of conviction and I love it, and I want to be just like you, Roxanne. I was so inspired by that. I hope you guys were to no matter how much is in your Bank account. Figure out what you're passionate about. Take a stand and stick to it. Listening to these women today also makes me realize the things that make me feel rich, have nothing to do with money like, you know what makes me feel like a million bucks knowledge, knowing stuff, knowing that I care about other people that said, I do love a little luxury, like getting my nails done, going shopping and getting nice makeup. Some of our upcoming storytellers ham like Cecile Richards and Maria menounos have their own definitions of luxury luxurious to me is hanging out in my kitchen with my three kids and sometimes Ali my dog, and sometimes my husband, Kirk and cooking all day. A nice soft bathrobe feels luxurious to me making some fabulous feast, soft bedsheets, fuel exerience to me, you know, arguing about what kind of pie that we wanna make getting. Sit in my yard and meditate feels luxurious to me, and I miss Pat really is busy week. Titian makes my ways I net. You have me looking like a horse in Indianapolis. On this episode you heard for miss Pat shows a shot head and Roxane gay. We live for your comments. People hit us up on Twitter and Instagram, and use that hashtag how it is. You can always find us at Hello dash sunshine dot com. Stay right where you are. So you can listen to the next episode which is all about something we do every single day work. Can move in. Damp dictating. I'm Diane radio, and I'm a bad ass Queen. That is an extra special Queen protector of Justice, daughter of immigrants, change maker and human lover. How it is is a production of Hello. Sunshine. It is executive produced by Amy s. Choi, Charlotte co, Rebecca layer and Reese Witherspoon or senior producers are Jillian Ferguson and CARA heart. Our development producer is Mary Phillips. Sandy sound design by Jocelyn Gonzales. Our theme song Queen is written and performed by Victoria. Deserve to be by the way. Did you like Queen acquaintances just a Queen, but it's just a Queen. You know what I mean? It says it's just a little more flair unless I haven't researched it. Maybe we should Google it is just an extra special way. Exactly.

miss Pat ZipRecruiter Roxanne Cecile Richards Bill Gates soccer writer Abby Wambach Diane Guerrero diabetes Sasha Cardi Chantal Martin Pacman Doc apple New York Medicaid Indiana
Episode 40: Culture Vulture

The Patdown with Ms. Pat

1:00:46 hr | 1 year ago

Episode 40: Culture Vulture

"Tissue Girl Miss Pat gotTa tell you upcoming date show January eighteenth. I'll be at the hull. Music Hall Monroe Louisiana. Get your tickets The whole music. How Monroe Louisiana January eighteenth one night only Chicago get get just together? Because I'm on my way. ZANIES COMEDY CLUB IS CHICAGO. One of my favorite clubs. I will be ways day. January twenty second the January twenty Phil who along wheat. But I'm here for you baby. Come on get your tickets. I'll be there. January twenty second through January Twenty Fifth Zanies Comedy Comedy Club One of the Best Comedy Club in Chicago. Hey It's white boy Chris if pat-downs ever made you laugh then join our Patriot support us get bonus content a t shirt or or an autograph copy of Rabbit. Miss pats autobiography visit. Miss Pat Comedy Dot Com for the link to the Patriots. And while you're there join our facebook group all right. Welcome to another episode of the PAT. Dan and we could talk about some crazy shit today. We'll talk about skiing skating clicks clicks which I didn't even know clicks KUSC. That's how confused is what I'd be doing. I'd be sleeping sixty three. Yeah that's really fucking is not what it is but yeah we're talking about all kinds of y'all stay tune up. Give me the voice. She steals each your the Challenge to doubt Napalm into real fat would at the same time to play with these same Lhasa politics on real take time to spend to weight. Uh again look funds full. I thought Alfano your this. Tuck tweeted over the you know. I'm all I'm here for Ya. She started sneezing. And then all of a sudden dion started sneezing. The Nice started sneezing her to contain up. You know what we like talking about current stuff so I got to talk to you about something that was bothering media's weekend Kim Qadesh took some pictures Kim Kardashian. She took pictures. Yes but the black people say the black woman says she was black facing she look black and she looked beautiful fucking patronage and so social media just lost their fucking mind where African American women say. Oh my gosh. She's trying to be Black Yoshio blessed she never black dickey on them as shing them black and so leave the girl alone my thing to me she was not black facing. I guarantee you why that man was taking photos awesome. Yeah I look at it I guarantee you. I only looked like her. She looks like Pam Grier in nineteen seventy five or hairs process. She didn't even she don't even look they don't even look like her out of me. I thought she was black to the thought. You Nice ten inch black. Women always get mad at white women. Call them coach. Poachers would bacall vulture coach vulture. Look when Kim was taken his economic I guarantee you want old light bulbs and it made her look a loaded darker. I don't know about that. I mean her hair is just a different hairstyle and it looks like a traditionally black hair style from Mike the Seventies or eighties everybody. Everybody won't all sister slaves had. Do you want us. Sisters was that group that data Ross was. The supreme does the supreme white blood when we got to stop this year. We gotTa Stop Dragging White Women. They coach poaching. They ain't culture. Poacher look is two hundred nineteen we is enough black dealer might not be enough but it's okay if they get the they get to the black date before you. We'll get to to have you run slow girl leading white women alone. The people she tried to be black one we got three or four. Aw Five or six black key and she. I don't think she went in there. And just fucking try to be darker you we always Fascinat- white women for coach vulture. But John. Oh ever I ain't gonNA stand with all black women until I see you start dragging white bitches out of tanning beds. Will you start dragging this. Dan Bay dear. I believe you for real about where they go about their body and turn just like my mother phone call. Leave 'em allow is a Netflix. Wrong with a little motherfucker milk chocolate they won't they won't go skiing to well that's the thing she's hurting. She's heavily Armenian so she's got very dark. Olive skinned again because Armenia's kind of down by the Metro train. All of all of all of colored skin is the term voice that Dan Microphone. Cushioning your mouth now. That's I don't get mad at me because they named it. I don't know how big a fast we're hey no NIGGA bitch and go our olive olive all of color. I'll leave me alone. I told you poultry knowledge. This girl motherfucking. I'll lose the sheer. Hey nobody know got got them on the bar in the middle of. She's she's just got Dr Dark Complexion because she's mentoring beautiful and I'm not a Kim K.. Fan On our supporter out. Watch out you fuck about. I have my own pro so oh got time to begin to fuck by his son at school Sir Kim K.. Who got our baby being cared about free? I'll folks all I'm saying is twenty nineteen Yao. How leading fucking white women alone gives them black? They eat some soul food. They can look cocoa butter if you're really don't want them out color to a protest in the street the burn all the way in bed. 'cause if you don't stop tanning bed they own they way to be your bitch way. Chris I wonder what you probably that pillow pillow. That's on top of you Mike. You my complexion in the in the summertime is very ham colored. It's yeah he's not wrong. Fuck is hey. I'm call ham is call for the color of Ham. Yeah so yeah I get I get pink look like spam yes. It's very spam with red hair. Imagine drawn a little orange beard on some spam. That's me you know back in the day when they use it to strive. ooh that basically like a paper sack shaped like a Coca Cola bottle. I guess you this dry you you can of Beer Moody's Tila let me flip it over. We own another sold wearing the exact same at this point. People know that we bulk record these base. That's crazy spam. I am calling but yeah so I kinda got me this weekend. I was like Yoga. Lee Kim K.. Alarm not even Kim K.. Fair but you know yeah want standing by the five black men before but soon does she grant cartier. So you know what it is about. Black women will mind you for them. They they don't they don't know about it when you get them rich ones who we've been waiting in live for the miracles. We've been waiting in line out Italian drilling us and they basement own away to the NFL. As soon as I get audio royal. Hey I'm looking at why you see you see after Antonio Brown that Nigga Cuckoo for Cocoa Paul he wrapping now she is dead. motherfucker craze is no more white women than twitter nineteen. So let me talk twenty so somebody take me shit me pets you might say there's about black women you'll be pissed off. I say Nigga. I couldn't have a lot of black people. Report to Fucker. Utah Stop tagging me. This bushy I can't get mad because he say Noble White Bitches and twenty twenty. What the fuck you want me to do? He know water fucker white bitchy out. I want him to fuck out. I'll give a fuck. I don't know Antonio Brown this but what am I you notice is the most racist ship as a why do does the white when we're talking about. You should want him that the fuck the white woman so you have a chain right you knockin you cop block you. I do not get out of this. I mean I'm going to go out on a limb. The woman that he just fucking this guy would not have a chance with but let let me ask the culturally naive question. Because they're at the root of his. This question is a confusion that a lot of white people have like in this instance. Y- you want like Kim Kardashian. If she is intentionally dressing up up like a black woman she is intending to honor that culture as opposed to put it down. And so why is that offensive to black women. Nobody nobody nobody drifts. Up to African outfit so Wilma from the Flintstones is is no but you understand what I'm saying like when when a win. Why would she shoot a picture like that and she looks sexy like that you said when she go for more of the black the hair and a black look I don't like honestly remain and you actually bring gear on and on these episodes shipbreaking a little bit more honestly with me? I don't really really get mad when I see white girls. Corn Roll we rock and peaked tales. Implants from the day one. I think I think when they when they try to they hair like my little girls running right here with their hair like that long. Does one black women really get me. I don't give a fuck. I reckon I've been Roch. And his mother fucking Indian Parisian african-amer. I don't know who to they dissolve four so I don't give up. I'm coaching too. If you beyond which the that that plus like cross cultural relationships cross racial like I guess too person who doesn't understand black culture or I'm asking like why is that offensive to black women that Gary he would cool until the white person does it so okay when black people do some that. We've we've been doing for a long long time. It gets doesn't get him credit they try to give them credit because a black woman created the bunny far as his white later on Internet's she created. And we're like no oh bitch no to okay Garrett exit question again Chris all right. So we're talking about Kim Kardashian Culture Poaching Culture Travolta why is offensive so Kim Kardashian's not intending to try to be offensive to black culture care. What she's intending ending to do is what she's continuously done now? Lookie here is what we talk about mullet Culture Travolta said he was writing them not correct. You Yeah Yeah that is first of all this woman has just one woman was. This woman is white. Let me not a lot to you. This woman is why in every year. She gets three shades darker Parker. She's slowly she do. Michael Jackson did but the opposite way and slowly move they slow getting blacker and blacker she go up one shea every year. Act Like we don't notice and we do but also that feeling the blackness from getting in fact he he produced Melania what does she didn't ask melon. Melon is producing producing melatonin. Kim Kardashian that's why he got his stomach out at blackness he probably Kwabena at how she's it's something that is as a whole. I didn't even notice you were getting black. I don't think she never year look at Kim Kardashian back in the day when I won a six tape first came out with her and Ray Ajay. I'm you know when she when she first I did last night. I wish she when she first came out and she just looked white and she say she Armenian. And I'm like that you just saying that you're white guys are the whitest the caucus mountains right there. That's where you came from it being we. My question in is because I don't understand I'm asking on behalf of whites so if if we're moving we're trying to move towards equality why is it. Why is it offensive? If if Kim Kardashian is black or if Shaun king pretends to be black or if Rachel was Al pretends to be blessed. That's not moving toward equality that is just white people wearing. We're in the skin of why we weren't going to black people like they always like they always have just taking stuff from black people. Just take then rebranding and making it acceptable acceptable and cool. And that's what they've always done. You see like black hoop earrings. Embrace that stuff that black women have always had and then when white woman Mr to where they're like. Oh that's culturally appropriate this high art now and that is the difference. It has nothing to do with US moving toward being more accepting society exciting. They're just don't do certain things. Okay let me ask you because we were air. No we don't. Is this a white woman or is this from a Brazilian. Why do you wear the woman we never take care from white women? We don't won't y'all Loosey Goosey long lock. We wise sticks the home in here and talk shit about your hair smells. Don't go out of our way to take anything thing from assimilate and there's a difference between the Black History Sheet wearing me here if you don't want to be informed you elect me now. I do want to be a former. Why let me ask you this? So do you get offended when you see white. Girls would corn rows. These look ugly ugly scenes look really good they never look right with Corals Hume K look the world should not be shown to the sky like that is just wipe is a white mess. Life is easier for the likes to get to so you. Don't play any type of games. Okay so yeah the Cornfield so so so gaby work so we'll do what well let me ask you this. Why don't black people get mad when white people Jordan's is that first of all Nike Billion Dollar Company owned by White people we'll founded Iceland? Why are you gonNA jumping on the bax you nigga jumping on the back of its data? Shoot first of all. That doesn't have anything. Let me let me explain the point. Gary Ana no Jordan's or black culture. These are white culture are who's in business down there definitely white. Yeah Jordan is black culture so let me ask you this let me ask you. I got another coach because I'm trying to figure out I'm down. The line was ill. Nam Coach Approach Culture Volgin. No no because look. He didn't come out here and act like he was the the best rapper of all time he came out here and just start to wrap. He ended up being good. See there's a difference. We we if we allow you into black spaces. You do not need to act like us. You need to talk like as you don't just do what you gotta do. If you good you good I guess Dale everybody looked okay. Keep maybe clarified it this way so like I so I run a podcast network and there's always a conversation. Like in the Libertarian podcast base. We need more women so people. I will create libertarian. PODCAST four women and it's like super condescending female type stuff whereas I'm the type like I just want a really good show that everybody would like and it happens to be hosted by women like is that the distinction like Eminem came in and participated in the activity but wasn't condescending about it. He wasn't trying what he didn't act like to act like what Kim Kardashian uh-huh act like she's she invents everything she does like that. Polls you like that that thing. That is from Diane Carroll. Dan Carol today years ago and they don't give nobody else body. Dying victim owns owns wife. But she she they always act like narrow by God Dang I knew that Shit look for me. So that's what she it. They Christopher Columbus they way they act like they discover something day. Slavery ready made hot. What we've known as cool for a long long long time and then y'all will come in and see it and be like free? You'll be culture police saying ham. He's a very nice. When you think of Crisp Angle you think of Culture Motrin iraq-turkey her dog? Jesus Fuck you look at your little hotdog hand. Look into a row technocrat. Well let me just healthy you healthy. North less are all more protein lower cholesterol. When black people have made something popular and then one white person will come in and see it claim that popular item? And then take it back to y'all and make it seem like they're the ones that discovered it. They're the ones that made it high. And now everybody Cobb. Abe's it as if black people haven't been doing that shit for us in black people get dragged for doing certain things like so like if you couldn't wear braids as it's inside like certain businesses right as a black person you could that wasn't professional and now white women have the luxury of wear braids anywhere. They want to wear them to work. But but we we used to be fired for that same act and so that's why you have this big ass. Hair industry of black women trying to get acceptable hair is just off now. It's everybody well. They are going a lot of black. Women are going to their natural hair now like I don't process my dog around no process her hair gear on where we and we just everybody's just going back to their natural state all right so gary let me ask you about like cross racial dating so it she was saying that Black Women Get mad when somebody black mandates a white woman is that and why is why is that. I don't know because look as long as you're not I don't like black men who go around here and put down black women. What date white white women see? That's the part that's problematic if you're going to have a white girlfriend in have one if you're gonNA fall in love with white person and do that but don't put down people in your own community why you do do that. And that's the only problem I ever have. It'd be like it'd be like these dudes be like. Oh I don't date. I only date lots. You know women or white women and that's me to the black women. They will lack woman dark. I don't WanNa have darts goes to say We allow skiing acute drug. The shit out of them last year we had a white wife and he was. He was at a restaurant. And he's like I'll I'll meet a latest due to get in trouble Florida's Patrick. Patterson is for Momma blogging coot kin and and he said he said he's he's married area to a white woman and he posted on Instagram. Saying we was bull. Go down here. He's a bulletin. 'cause I don't WanNa be with a bulldog y'all got a problem with my wife or something like that and I was like you a pussy ass Nigga. That's why you were because you got you from your mom because I know your mom is aboard doll. I WANNA whoop his mother fucking ads. That's the sheet. I don't like now because to me. Love don't have a color you fall in love with who the fuck you want and it should be no one. Why will it should just be a woman? Lois fucking treat you right right. Knock you all the white Bush's I said. Hey Gary on a Musselwhite. She says she don't listen to white noise into me love. They'll have a caller. You should who the fuck you wanted to. And it's a beautiful thing but you just because you date outside your race you shouldn't go back and put the people in your race down so that's when I have a problem. Dr Umar went on the breakfast club. You know about the Byron Allen Situation Right fighting for Byron Allen Oh you know who that okay. So he's he's in court right now with comcast over my dad just talking about anyway. They had Dr Lamar on afterward. He was talking talking about how he liked where buyer Allen was doing until buyer. I was married to a white woman. And he's like how you GonNa try to put on for black people when you married to a white woman. So that's what I didn't understand trying to help you but you mad because his wife you mad because that's the way fucking fell in love with dance when I don't that's what pisses me off off about white black people. There's some there's some really judgment it is based on like you like you cannot fuck you can legally Lee folk anybody you will to accept a dog or cat editor squirrel. Anybody who's sitting above you could see above as he's let me fuck no Keith. So fucking stupid. I didn't give a fuck McKee's date a lot of white girls when we look. I'm getting phone as long as they grandparents. Don't kill you and you're going to street right. That's all I say. He was saying who Mara was saying. No you can't be pro black if you have a wife that's not fucking true. 'cause they're white warm white man you will probably feel the same way about your culture like Gude. That's why he fucking you. Don't have the skiing on me. He don't have the feeling in the mind. which is debatable highly debatable? Because there are some people in our just in racist would you say there are some people with black people in Justice Thomas. It's Toxin Racist Racist Racist people in our situation mom and that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm what I'm saying is what all I'm saying is is nothing wrong. Aw How can you say you're not fighting for the black culture because you'll fucking wife is white and that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that you can sign up for black people when have of you know any type of wife but what I'm saying is not everybody Just because this person is dating a black person does not make that person you know like woeckel whatever stinking thank you still be just as problematic just as bad. I'm sorry I I read that wrong. Maybe just can't get them some black pussy and they down for the March arch so some of them do fuck and not be for our shared for up and they wanted to the black bear to sweeter the juice and then you get some who wants to drink the Kool aid and they so much which you did it makes his. Yes yes police. Oh so that's my thing I don't I don't I just don't like people people get mad when they see innovation day and you know is is so crazy because when I see interracial interracial dating the Black Man I go straight to the black woman and I'm like no you don't fuck you fuck. They might be our last say white women white woman turn away because she don't want she don't want him scrolling games black is on. I don't give a fuck are actually how to do his. Don't Suck my husband Dick. Why why the why do you get the what's The I'm not picking up and why the white woman looks away? What is it is it? Because they're expecting shit where they expect you to be mad because they win. They win a black man. I don't give a fuck if let me tell you. So as long as you would a motherfucker who treat you right. I remember when I used to get foc what you come on with. I didn't know she will come. The girl I say as low that treats you out of your fuck if you came out with a knee will only his nose and lower that motherfucker opened. His nose is on his head. You real on his head as low as he treats you right. How'd you get full gear? I'll give a fuck if you mayor Chris. A White Man Blue Moon out your fault. Whiteman twice White Man. Okay as long as you get to treat you right. And that's what it should be. You know when they make fun of you. It means it's like the playground rules. That's all I ask. You did like people really get mad because because Kanye west and Kim I'll give fuck you up. I got my own Brown mom luggage. Bet Now I have my own problem. I don't give full. Aw Fuck all the bitches see you say exclusive. It's not exclusive. He fucks Latinas C. D. Women Women. I've never seen you read a book that only you don't do it. I see right on our facebook new BAGEL. Read them on a page. We'll take a break. I'm GONNA blow my nose and I'll be right back. What was the one that you showed me the nine one one operator all right Charleston? New Year I got to tell you the broader. It's a New Year with a new holiday Common Valentine's Day ask Save Valentine's Day country. And I gotTa tell you about this product Outta fat fits fun. Fun is a unique box that you put together for your significant other who Elliot's -nificant other might be with topnotch ask products. 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Kiss my ass on the Front I care about you tune. So media was talking day. He was telling me about this thing about caring about people. Chris I I sent you the sue. How nine one one dispatcher told who told what a drowning woman to shut up will not face wash is she? She was right she likes shut up bitch. The water won't go in your mouth. I'm pretty sure that's not what you call you. Know call now and you drag. This woman's it was interest few SUV the and it was flooding. And she got Kinda trapped in the water started to rise and she was there for like twenty minutes on the phone before she finally go to heaven the funny but this is she and this poor woman is on the phone with this nine one one operator. She's like I shut up. Shut up I don't know what did it say what she was actually like telling you to shut up four. She was screaming. She told us she was drowning to death and she was hysterical. The lady the lady okay. No she died. Yeah Nigga you land there yeah she drowned and that's why so. The police police department was like well. Our dispatcher did everything that she is supposed to do as far as protocol. Why right now? We'll see insensitive as fuck by telling his drowning lady. Shut the fuck goes in the window. I have no idea. There is actually if you're underwater. You'd have to have like a tool like a screwdriver to break the window because the pressure of the water seals it in and the only way to get out you have to have like a special hammer so if you seriously like you have a retention pond here and people drowned in those retention ponds a crash into him and draw all the time so now this happened during a flood so they were getting the shit ton of calls people saying. Hey I'm trapped and he helped Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah and. I guess this lady just happened to be the unfortunate one. She was the fifteenth. Call that day and another one thousand nine hundred calls about vehicles calling. Floodwaters will follow. The situation was chaotic. At best. The report said anybody in the car order now. She joined by herself cheese after she told her that she go on a recording of the call dispatcher scolded Stevens for freaking out as water filter. Suv Stevens repeatedly told the operator she fears. She was going to die. You're not going to die. Dispatcher Toll Stevens I don't know why you're freaking out. It's okay I know the water level is high. I'm scared Steven's reply crying. I understand that you freaking out. It's doing nothing but losing your oxygen up in in there so just calm down. She drowned actually suffocated well. That's what happens when you drought. Yeah but like St. That's like they charge him for how you I mean. It is a horrible finished laughing at she drowned by. How are you going to charge the dispatcher? Because anytime anything bad happens and everybody's outraged about it. They don't think about what why. Why is that particular dispatcher? Saying shut up. She had a reason if he had say shit. I would say no. It's she was. She was unreachable. She was trying to drive in this flood and they couldn't get to her but because people are outraged that this woman had the audacity to tell the woman to shut up even though it was in the woman's interest to shut up. They want they want her skin like like they want her hide. Like we lose no. She's facing no punishment whatsoever because she didn't do anything wrong. I is what had happened. India Texas what was what was it is mentioned name. They didn't release it so I will call in Arkansas. If I was in Arkansas and I needed nine one one. The lady that told them showed up. Tell You my problem because I'm need you to transfer Michio manner because you'll be listening to niggles and I need to get this. Yeah I read now now one one. What's your emergency? You shut up bitch I if you got no emergency talk to your. Wow Wow that's crazy. That's really this sad and that's really funny but I mean can you imagine so the woman Manikin. The woman panicked. She couldn't swim okay. So so that's she just sat in the car and drown because our floated day. She eventually ended up floating. Take your chances you float climb up on top your car like maybe there'll be a boat or something come by a lot of people don't realize is that just because like water gets deep quickly during a flood like a lot of people think. Oh I can just drive through it. That's shit is dangerous. It's very dangerous. Angie one thing the water get up on your car and cut it off. Yeah as one of the thing you cough. Let me it just ancient fluids so very dangerous. It's like above. What is it the the axles on your wheels? Yeah or like you should not very bottom of your hubcap. I think what like okay that you should not drive in water deeper than that. Yeah don't don't be stupid fucking crazy. I'll be safe idea. What about the caning thing? Oh so let me find this. Yeah this is crazy. This man I was. I was hesitant for Dionne to do the story because it was him explaining what flogging was dimissed pat and I feared for the crack babies slogging. I've never heard of flying. Yeah it's illegal lawson not flogging so so a man who advocated caning adultery gets caned for adults this happened. Indonesia and Indonesian man has been publicly flogged for adultery under under a draconian law COLLAGEN. So basically they got a giant bamboo stick and then they wacky with it. That's called ass-whipping over here. Yeah yes well. Okay so we. They looked to grow ads for doing what. He advocated for people who cheat on their spouses to get him for cheating. No his how you GonNa make allow break impasse sluggish congress. They do it all so fucking stupid. Then the thing is how do they know you cheat in Indonesia because all the women got on black outfit and all of them look so who are you it up on his mother fucking out using this pattern of curry and fuck insure star Burns. Audio does not do these statements talking about how you gotta put out a disclaimer when you save fucked up. She can't say they all look alike. Going to Georgia And saying well look like down there. No Burqa would they alfred. I'm not I'm assuming him cheating. Would this lady in now see Outta outfit. Well when you fucking. I don't think they do it with the clothes. Oh Oh determine what outfit. She's talking about. Are you talking about the Islamic Guard Llamas. Wouldn't they cover right right a very beautiful. I mean without the Al Fayed but you know. That's that relief agency. So that's what I was saying. How did they know he was cheating when all I'm assuming he he was doing the girl he wasn't supposed to be doing and he got caught out phenomenal well? It wouldn't matter if she had to Alfred obsessed with that thou because in her brain like he's he's he's walking down the street with a girl in the outfit and everybody's assuming that's Y. Yeah and so. He's in hiding in plain sight. I'm sure he had sex with this girl. Without Alfred on his wife came home and it was like who the fuck that bitch judge. Oh I don't think it was. Nobody knew about it. And then somebody who's like oh who invested. Who invested other than your wife when you cheat and they got a whole squad Nikola looking for you to in other countries and places like Indonesia where it's it's a heavily Islamic area? They have very serious morality laws. And like you. Oh you. If you're cheating on your spouse adultery is punishable by death you can. Prostitution is punishable by the lady. It does not say in the article. Oh but he got caned sticks you gotta get Crossville. He got twenty eight lashes in front of a crowd and these are not like little ashes. Like these are lacerations. Looks looks like I mean it leaves marks on your back. These are very hard wax. So is that going to stop. The woman digging flogged. I'm sorry they beat the woman to out worth it and they usually do it in public to like in front of the whole town. You can get cain which does not say if she was married but you can get cain for homosexuality drinking alcohol or having sex outside of marriage how you get way to me how you get slog for drinking alcohol. How would they sell alcohol? They don't sell it there. Why are you get it here? You make you make moonshine. Oh but see the fucked up thing is he made. This is law so he was out there talking about reverse and he felt what it is across the bay. I guarantee he'll be like fuck. You won't in the next. You get all the pussy outfit. I I love it how guarantee Indonesia is coming anybody taking their goddamn allow twenty eight lashes to the back. Yeah he wanted to take it like a champ. He was taking. I'm GonNa Fuck Oh geek personally and I know the stick. The video is smallest shit. Let's switch I remember watching a video along. I think I was probably fourteen or fifteen. I saw it on Youtube or this. They had a a big ass fucking bamboo stick and they would just whack the fuck out of your across your back. How people didn't die immediately after that Shit I forget what it is but there's something about the way that they do this gaining the physics of it like add speed and it really just tears your skin? It's it's a really brutal 'cause I I do. You have a shared on everything. He takes me like a champ to. She must have some good Bush because he didn't cry. I'm telling the person on his fail. I'm GonNa do it again but you imagine if it's bad policy did you magic if it was like fuck it was bad pussy Atalaya lady what. Here's something crazy so I can't say who it is but it's I notice personally worked in jail and they had a funniest fucking source so they copy. Yes Dave. Hey but they called me and they said that one of the one of the deputies got got in trouble and they thought she was trafficking so they bring him his whole investigation team and so they walked out the fire and it must a person say when they were walking out of the fires. I just won't let you all know I wasn't trafficking. No draws in his jail our suck indeed so come to find out the God was looking did in where he found out she was looking dig. will she gained some an inmate lights and they got mad and told on so she a guard had the lice. The guy had license ahead. I guess you well given he and the lights jump today Dix and so they say so they told on the guy and made it lose a Joe like nine big she gave all on Lice. Yok considered the blow job. I mean this lady get up our bay it clot need to come suck your d a Utah. There's just tooth's classy lady is so fucked up for you. May Semi Leuze Joe to a free service I bet she looked like meredith from the office He said they knew she would go. Get in trouble. Because you have been like two months as to how you GONNA get in trouble. He was like 'cause she had a mustache in our the inmates to over her merced as well Sakes Truman. I almost as big well. You don't want to China. Got Lights go while she was looking at the lights. Were jumping off the top like freelance. Getting this this Puckett Ryan. I said I didn't know you could pay to license given that you know. I haven't been at the bus station in the last few months. No God no no we can't get lice. We can get lies but no no we cannot get along really no we. Can't we got too much grease in those demand if you could get lice. She would have gotten that. He's the expert okay. We can get crafts crafts. But we can't get life collide the hold onto dry. She a we got too much grease in skiing in their their their pairs. The fuck up because Jose. I'll have to sleep it to hold onto. I'm assuming she was fucking black man. Dick ain't never black people locked up in our jail knows a lot of white people. She was gay. She gave eight white means life and they. He told on a beach in the they had to get them all Kerr and evacuate and they should them off to another present but you do the math eight wightman that means at least twenty black men. Let me let you so they dig with mustache unless you get if you've been in prison. I'm sure I'm sure the you know the other day I was at other day here in. Somebody's waiting on me. I WanNa say was their hobby. Live latest you ever been out when you just want to tell somebody to take my phone number so I can show you how to get that beard off your fucking cheese. You are a girl. You should not be look alike crisp angle hobby lobby. This busy has so much cheer era. Sea that WGN stopping in Kenya right there. Why and you know? I'm looking at a May. She was a girl automation was teddy and they always like well. If I shave it it'll grow back thicker. Which is a myth? Shave your beard hair. Shave your fucking beard hair. I it was like yours Chris. Four grown is needed. A trio sad and I was I was like. Did you grow a beard. You can't grow a beard who career. You can't grow a beer and have on Lipsey. Could us she confuse the public. You can't do that now. There's no woman you gotta get Shit. I mean come on. We got to the point where they fucking Shaimaa knuckles on my toes and sheet Eh. Come everywhere and then you know when you get a certain eyebrows turning gray you snatch turn gray the booth because I never see. I'll kinda sheet. Just start turning the ground. We get a chance to get crunchy. You get out CATA sheet. I shave my back today and so I'm like super itchy back here but like it does it grows in. I'm thirty thirty six so you have like a single back shoot. Nobody helped me. You know that So I I did have a back shaver. Everything it looks like say gas back scratcher and it just like irreverent runs your hair cut your hair off while you do that because it just grows into thick now because the older you get like I don't know about you but like the older. I'm getting more chest hair. I have like I've gotten nipple hair. which is weird? I couldn't grow roburt until thirty two women had to do. We have to make sure Areola. Don't have hair cadet musburger. Look like a gardener. Evil one peach garden of evil each Making me fuck up. My I've known you since. Nineteen seventy two was gonna you. Oh you know. Because he's a little like a little apple Eden or e e even that I I got him so they could. Train is like y'all Chris again so much better when I first came what they should be eating. If you're a Patriot member you can listen to the first few episodes before dion joined us and I I just things go over my head because I I didn't know her well enough to. So what are you talking about. It wasn't here to translate yet. Yeah so it gets better. It gets better but yeah so when you get older. You'LL AREOLA have haire sticking out of the Air Force special when you blade thinking like a giant air. So you bother you give you with a woman. And she got the only a new viewer nip the only nipple hair I've ever run into in highschool and it didn't bother me at all because I was in high school. So was it a lot. Yeah she was a Harry girl. I mean it was pretty. There was a lot your book the three little strain like I do on my Chin plucked my father Komo D in His grow a lot on. TV They got shot. So I had to keep an eye on it because of guys began. Strang a gray hair hanging over your nipple are- padding. Yeah so you have to be really. I'm quite sure no man. I WANNA soccer team. Where hey on it but Chris Mos- me and maybe most women notice? I mean I would you. It depends like you're telling me a girl takes her shirt off you see some nipple hair. You'RE GONNA. I'm sorry you gotta go Ma'am now you're gonNA be like your nipple year it depends on how to you is much easier because you know you. I don't see you don't before you fuck the girl. Well well you don't girl black girl black hair. A cheat sheet is big like flaws. You fuck around swallow by strings mercer rug that's like barbed wire stomach. Pol III black lace stray. When you when you pull our men legit Kurla love? So can you imagine for curly black hair just sending your throat pigtails. So this is a good time to ask this question. I was over the summer I was with adding event and there was I was sitting next to a black girl and she had on a dress. She had long leg hair. She had a lot of leg here like in the black community. Does she not shave. 'cause you nasty okay all right. That's what I thought teaching women. I work with a one once as yeah four kids and she had a mustache and a beer and she had a lot of hair. All about I said you gotTA herdsmen. Sheila Green Love my head. I was in Atlanta. I say he is gay. He is gate. 'CAUSE BITTUN is reliability. We America deal with it a little bit. Well ain't no real marijuana marijuana business. Can I know Wolfman Kane. This bitch was covered from head to toe hywel. She had enough hair on her mother. fucking leg to to no fucking shame. And then she hit him long game nineteen seventy-two sideburns. She driving a Cadillac. Marco Martin Van Buren log a a sidebar. I said what to say. I couldn't believe she was alone. which she's a mahomes they were gay and before Atlanta became gay capital of the world? Your yeah your home your your your your yes Berto or your click turn until must stop Cardin. Uh spurts. I'll come my mom will call it a spurts what spared tongue oh Mama Colorado spur tone spero. Spur tongue or you. Don't somebody told me your your your click skeet. You mean squirt Squirt squirt. Yeah what did I say fuck. I'm so mad. Had I knew how you get your. Click the ski to dig without a cliff. Oh Garrett June bug answer how you get A. She's asking her husband. He probably doesn't want any part of this. He's not GonNa Answer the question. How do you make a click skeet at somebody's talking talking about some people think that it's just piss piss and then other people say that it's like it's female the jacket white female ejaculation piss only in movies movies? You never been scored a number. If you not ready for that shit scared. When I was younger I use the time I had a girl? Scored Gordo me. I was like this is like I wasn't expecting it was like it was literally like somebody just peed on me. It was like when you're younger I it was. It was warm water and I was like what the fuck when you're younger you go. That'd be the ultimate compliment that'd be so great and then when you're older I own this bed. I don't need you doing that here. I've never everyone can can network so I don't know if I was quoted enough I probably only Washington office piecing everything comes out. FASCES appears panty liners economy PENALUNA's PENALUNA's see I mean I've I've somebody was telling me I work with a guy and he was like. Oh my wife Hus- spare tongue or click. Whatever you WANNA call it these square in the fuck are you talking about? They got a little deep in Jackie. Lou Digs on your wife. Are you ever seen a squirt. I'll watch porn. I know you the have you know. I don't like porn you really. I WanNa live reaction. I don't WanNa see nobody screw us. Let's go to twitter really quickly and you know you shouldn't Google stuff lighted police dot com and get your goddamn foul. It's not Indonesia it's Hugo Skatin- click squared errors quarter. It's GonNa take me a second hold on. I'm not no no make square square to make they we go let me. Although it's a forty four second video let me see you. Don't WanNa see this part here. This is just the fuck and and can I turn to sound. Yeah Yeah Yeah Daisy Square. Because that's the name of the video hoop all right so they're calling Z.. There's a lot of white to white people woman I it's from a POV position point of view and then it's a it's reverse cowgirl basically she's riding them and pop and pop. I you know as a video to go to Thailand scored in this is the first one that came up. But Hey we'll she didn't squirt it was a waste of forty five seconds. I'm unbelievable uncooked. cheekily they know they gotta find one. This is annoying. I'm never seen this anyway. I'll show you afterward but none. It's we gotta hear it on the air. This is well nigh making me actually search for squirting editing Ed squirt there go see these pictures images so you don't have to watch the video. Well does what it is doc. Look look at the first video picture. That's pierce they don't know it looks like it's got pissed in it too. The violent debate actually researched it. Because I have been squirted a couple of me look at. How agape her Josh Grayson? She got got a second post that in the group. But I can't out against the head is so fucking crazy so if you're not ready for that it so fucking freak you out. So is that a good feeling. Usually women only square when they come so yeah sh which again. I don't know what do married twenty years. I didn't know we sleep in peace. I don't call it squared and I call it a wrastling. Ah We all who we rasping sonically when you hear yourself say. I don't know what I'd do sonically. That was the best part of the podcast that do come out. I never did know she lied. There'd be like a sprinkle AH Galley Yoyo. People didn't they do us on Yada doing a piece. No yow saying ah no one obits you say I rock your world and your mama bear freeze looney now. Now Rock Hill motherfucker. World Rummage clergy haunting grown up bringing the Laura Jean Iraq your social security check. We fuck out of here. I love doing this podcast. I'll keep listening. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of the PAT down. Make sure you check out my website at Miss Tech company DOT COM for all of my social media. My tour dates my book. Make sure you spread the word about my podcast please. Rate every veep please rate a review here here Seca so much Alabi Ms.

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Episode 67: RIP Rehab

The Patdown with Ms. Pat

50:48 min | 8 months ago

Episode 67: RIP Rehab

"STARLINGS! Thank you for listening to the Star audio podcast network. We have so many great comedy shows to add to your playlist just last week on Star Burns audio on Gilbert Godfrey the amazing colossal podcast, Gilbert and frank joined by the legendary, Allen and Adam Arkin. On. The untold our Jessica Joe and Andrew Bowser are joined by Connor. Go sell the man behind the haunted historian instagram account. On small doses. Amanda Seals is going full cancer season this week, talking about the side effects of feelings this week on profiles and Eccentricity, an interview with bill and Ted Creators Chris Matheson covering his new book, his famous father and time travel's most excellent adventurers on that black ash show, W Kamau Bell, writer, comedian and host of CNN's united. States of America joins. Joins say Sloan in celebrating Spike Lee's nineteen ninety two film Malcolm X. Search Star Burns audio on apple podcasts, spotify or any podcast platform, poor pool list of our shows, featuring hosts like Shane Moss Miss Pat and the sklar brothers don't forget to follow us on instagram twitter at star Burns audio. Enjoy the show and remember stay safe. Stay healthy and keep laughing. Hey. It's white boy Chris if pat-downs ever made you laugh, then join our patriotic and support, US get bonus, content, a t shirt, or an autograph copy of Rabbit Ms Pats autobiography visit. Miss Pat Comedy Dot Com for the link to the Patriot and while you're there, join our facebook group. Welcome to another episode of the plant. We're here with Christy. My good friend Courtney y'all say. Avenue. Hello. Crazy. We're talking about a blast from the past when you sit creeks and I lost my good friend Rehab and we also talking about Jd Peter Jada. Jada. Wheels. No, no, don't trump in on this list. On my Jamie MPC. Would Be Beckham. Real facts. Yet same time. To play with these same lines. Policies. Real? He's told. On. You? Turn off now. Playing. Earth! Don't. Fun Full. Listen Alpha. Tuck. tweeting. Repeating. Yes omission. We saw this. I guess she came back several times well. There's some sewer gas from the bar and I didn't know if it was you guys or the sewer gas, or what, but I'm gonNA. Keep it safe so I set you guys say you away over this. All the white person on these fucking Parque you gonNA Nickerson I like gas for gay. It's not it's not anything to do with your blackness. It's about your pussy. Oh you got another talk about black pushing that either. Chris. Hey Yeah, we gotta guest today we got my friend caught Lindsey I'll say how to call going on everybody. From, you say going on everybody but. Before you you're talking about. We got so much. Talk I've missed. You guys first thing I to talk out. About is Jada and we as she I tell you my opinion for. At people need to mind motherfucker. But then I saw a picture our sting, I'll stay favorite. What the? Algorithm Augustine. Whatever the nickname is! That's hard as name, but he was in his underwear. I was like she and I would got entangled tube. I. Wrote Dick. Todd. Rope Dake. Tangle to those go keep saying entangled. In Tang. detangle me but I see why you guy and. He was. remixed that they did for the for the US auto remakes no fucked. Remiss I'm saying that you see is pitcher. Put his pitch in his underwear and he ted it all up. I think that was because somebody asked me what Jada was entangle, she may. No. Longer under what he did. He takes wheels. Say Man I'm just checking on your case at Yale one together then he says somebody's dumped. She like why you lay him. Blow your wife Becca like. Fuck you feed I I the only story I read on it. was that he like he asked will. Smith's permission like I thought they were married, so they weren't together when it happened. Mayor. They was just separated separating Gotcha. First of all you nobody permission for some of your wife puts, does your we'll say we'll really didn't want to be on. Without UCD IT, she. We're reaching me. Stay relationship really who kills a fuck about fifty year. Digging Pussy what they do with it kind of. Me Who cares if it was me and Gary nobody will. Offer. Here come off the top ropes comes. Out. Talks about who to women. Poor He April. So that's why you know. Money's involved. She looks good. Yeah, yeah, they don't look like regular fifty year they don't even look like regular year. Old Black people so out of fucking bow talks to her face. Very well done dion. How old are you cordless? Alright, so we're all kind of the same age if Demi. Moore Halle Berry tyra banks comes up to you, you go. It's time to fulfil my thirteen year old famous Jada Beacon Smith. List. Yeah, well I mean I mean what I'm saying is really gears of fuck. If you. If you ask going on in your life, you will be giving a fuck about wheel. I mean about Jada peaky Gin, the fucking young boy I mean if this show fantasy what I sal. Knocked the girl. You know what I'm saying. When you deal with fit, he'll. Happened it did fall asleep. You GotTa play on you gotTa put some. Does that was a fixer upper though today as way, oh i. Was Sick. Well. What was he sick? Mentally? Ill News A. The she felt his dig once she's like. We gotTA REPAIR THIS I. Zero is a HGTV project. Foes that new. Got Entangled Can't let property loose. Didn't. Equity got got an equity together. What asked out? Hey. Mean, do you have you? Have you liked to be drill? By twenty seven hero Mo- pile to he's. He's twenty someplace. You got that you got that spirit like Eric about happened it. He he is, he got on TV. Say Look I, just WANNA. Get Telemachos. She Ask You. Either Dan she took all AARP COA back from it. At this council and hit. A handicap. Discount Go. He wanted to Brag He. We'd be the exact same way. I'm going to wrap this up in a serious comment, but I can't wait to tell everybody I don't i. don't think I think. She cut him off and he sneakers. When you get some good pussy or supposedly wasn't expecting, and then it just goes away. Literally lose your mother fucking. Couple months if you don't know what to do when he's eighteen was ruined for that reason. Is Hair. He looking to do some things. Know. What happened daddy came home is. A good dig baby, but you must be tied up outside and. Daddy's home in Daddy's got way more money than Augustine August I. Don't fucking know a gallstone whatever the nickname meals to the masters. You. If you're competing with? Kids father just don't even try like if. That's the first rule of dating single MOMS. You need to know how much they hate that guy because I've seen them. Go like I've been dumped for the kids dad before because that like bond family's always there. He should've known that he was not by somebody. Mom, absolutely for The for the kids, Dad Yeah. Yeah. You can't comp- I. He had he had no business. People will any real mother. Got, his Dick. Fuck you even if we got his dick cut out, he steal husband materials like that's big. Willie, you're not. You're not Tom Nickel writing welcome to Miami. Ashley. Men? In. Black. It's not beating. That dude is your. Arm and Eddie Murphy you. I don't know. August was expected I. Really don't. Vagabonds. Hole in want his time to go. In black thing and just went. Forgotten that Yup they. Got Rid of. Go I mean again. WHO gives a fuck? You know I'm sorry. But be people want entertainment this. Is, the thing is WHO gives a fuck? is they business and I mean she. She went to the red tape. I'm like Jada. You Ain't got to buy why you've. Seen Him in his drawl between. Know why you've heard a onboard. Courage to do and transparency on both parts to even go through the tabling. Bring it out like that he he committed so what happened? At. Know what happened, so was in tangled, and we got had gotten tangled and he was like a relationship. She was like well, yeah. Like Komo Jada caller what it is. They've been open about it for now. He's saying. I'm going to get you back. It seems like you've already got me that. Tell you fuck each. Everybody Oh. You if you on that famous over level like it should be expected when you get married and like yeah, I'm probably going fuck somebody else, but. I'm GonNa Fuck, anybody. Everybody's heard about the chemicals leaking out of your vagina. To. There is trust pilot review. Lewis. Sometime they earn nearly. We all know. It takes special diet hands with you. You GotTa go here with a mask angles fucking. Day. Come! He's like I'm feeling my fingers again I'm like. My baby getting this feeling bad foggy moment. They got no die here. They have to be out of there. I've heard a lot of people say that. If the roles reversed will, Smith will be getting killed in the news if he had groom some young girl. Of course because this bad comanche, but when a woman! Empowerment. Empower the. Best lives. To. Do for me. I understand why Jada dig up cigarette big. I get and getting into sixth grade like I did. I am sick of Dake. See, no did get the fuck out totally over. Over. I'm over Washington Shit out of me. I didn't cancel. I ain't gay them, but I'm lounge guy taverners you out on the. Roll over I'm good. She need. Baby. To All With a mask on though ooh! fucking mass, Garrett didn't he say he won't. He won't kiss you won't Kim? He say ise. We social distancing. So long so he could do it. Along You right I do have an old td now got questioned nipple. News Upbringing, that bag I'm GONNA. See here and have you talked about her titties Oh did it? Oh. What she say, say she. All stay. I, See A wh-. Anywhere! To. The table selling shirts. To Sell Insurance. She showed her titties for sure. She was. Zero, Growth Gone Wild Chris. He was wild into a little bit. One time I was reading my voice. I was auditioning for a show. What was that show what we did in Atlanta and it was It was a comedy show. We did it at the line Over there show no one last comic standing there was. Coming to the stage now I want to come to the white show. Oh? Embassy stand for the Varsity Ryan. Forgotten the name of the show before I. Say You had to say your name was show I. Say My Name Is Patricia William only and. I'm glad to be auditioned for girl going while. Ask! How did you give Tony? I didn't get. This ain't going. Be. The. Justice next story from last comic standing. That's my favorite MS power. So who? Need. was his first night at the Anthony just came. You know I didn't know the type of person. I heard Anthony Anthony Justin leak, but and never like like work with him. I didn't know that's the way he get out. He Sarcasm and she really committee said well. I don't care if you guys lose and and I'm getting physical fucking the white boy talking to this bullshit. Why only? That's what I'm saying to myself. Is this like a pep talk before pass? An asshole in the pep talk and so Out a little Bush's Saint. means she say an anti day. Of course I wanNA fuck, are you? Told me is she looked at him and said who the fuck are you Jessica Snack. I'm quite as he missed his name. I think just a snake because I. Got Him Jumping Jack. Everybody out like what the? Fuck. Are you he like? Oh. All I hate young people. Montreal! Oh my God. She's on. She's been selected for the superstar just like top ten list of up and coming comedians no one. Who writes. Top team rising light, it's to blow up. Next got right. Who's WHO's next, so it's basically like. Nine eight people to be fair who are like? Youtubers or like popular. And then there's Miss Pat, and she's sitting on the stage with with like six seven of them. I was a Youtube Youtube. was other girl. It was all kind of days love. Black girl name, she do the black sketch show. So she you know she she created. Amanda is not amount of southern dusty. Dusty slow now, but it was. It was just was. It was her name. Robin Robin Robin Robin. It was it was. It was a I felt like I didn't first of all I never heard of variety top team comic. Everybody heard it helped me, so I'm at home doing my laundry. I get a phone my manageable and he's like. Hey, this is rage I. Think the Manager Age and lawyers on a follow him. We'll fuck out what happened, and so it was like. Hey, we want to tell you something. I'm like Oh okay. He's a bad since auto zone designed time. As! They was like you was selected for the variety top team. USA what the fuck is day. And so as it and he was like. I'm doing my laundry. What are you guys one? So I hang up. Oh okay wow. Out fishy Google. I didn't even crew didn't cook though that's. About it now that's huge. What happened? Laws are hung up in my managers like we knew you. Don't give a fuck and it's a big deal to. And so I call caller followed a comedy. She and he's like you was chosen for that I'm like what the fuck is day. He's like DAS-. Good everybody so I started looking at started googling it and I was like damn. Everybody got this Damn Award. I I don't Fuck Shit. So I went to my lunch and we get there and he's all these youtuber. Transgender Gerda. I didn't know what transgender to the last fucking mid I'll put my hand on a kneecaps she. said she got totally fooled. ONSTAGE, she sitting there next to her, and they mentioned she's transgender. And what happens because you increase your I was. Out! Pat Doesn't say anything but her famous book everything. She found out she was pregnant. Do what was going through my mind, but I didn't WANNA. Fuck up my comedy career. I was like I wanna say you. FACEBOOK is. You. Look good look like a fucking garage looked good. Yeah, and she say. She says she was a transgender and I had no fucking clue, and then I looked at our feet, and she had some fucking jellies with some football size. Trading Ginger. You Ain't got the memo for our girl clothes. Congratulations you're on variety's top ten next, most likely to be canceled list. L. The best part and somebody was talking to. She goes fuck, are you? Say. It was the little it was a. she was a youtuber type person she was he. Is The why do. I don't know you, but I'm GONNA. Find out who you. Leave. Google. Just doesn't give a fuck, and that's my favorite thing about us. I say y'all told me with top tea. WHO WOULD FUCK OUT? Clans I'm on stage week when we really knew that he couldn't get in the country. Well. I knew the audit. Steve and then I knew Puerto Rican makes a cream on war. The white do there was up there like? he might be. Yeah? He's, but I knew him. I knew him and and then I knew Robin and I think she hated me. You, called her out in front of everybody. I wasn't trying to look. All I know. Pick. Occupy. bitchy groping no transport. I say. Downplay everything. My saw that one because I've been talking to somebody and I come in and. Stand there and Chitchat Boring Chitchat, and then you know and I was you know I grew up poor, and I grew up in a trailer park. Very solemn, and you didn't grow up in a trailer. I was. He Will Paul. Negro. Your trailer park had been and wheels. BTU World about. As. She looked as she was pissed and see what I like about. Hollywood is when you gotta play like you gotTa struggle I mean there's so many other ways to be funny. You Ain't gotTa have a struggle to be funny I think I think anyway I think I'll different types of comedy, or you need when his personally about you. I hate when a mother fucker try to be something that they're not even at the. We left that show and I only really know Robin. Robin, the-the is A. Good I mean a nice girl. Rue creative at I google her. Her pairs educated as a mother fucker. You'RE NOT GONNA, get to educate. It niggles in no train Paul unless somebody got all time amnesty, they don't they don't remember got bank account. My thing is what I don't like about. Hollywood because you gotta play like you something and not saying that that's what she was doing. I just say well. What kind of what kind of school you went to? You grew up in a trailer. Pa You, you sound like the way you sow versus way me and dusty sound a sound like you. Got New books ever you. Say Curriculum. And I said that they're gonNA. Make up anything so. I don't know I just. I like being earnest. I like an s mink I'm on I'll. Take it the wrong way. Be with me. I've always said me my pusher Tammy. I'll tell you. Bad up a little bit. Life, that's the thing that you're the closest I've ever come to Hollywood so like hearing your stories hearing like going to La with you being around. I'm just like I cannot wait to watch her career because I don't know how you do because it just seems so fake, and like everybody's so very fake plastic and Oh my God. What are you doing, yeah? You would me I'm down for you. Bitch on, even know you didn't get myself on. Leave me the fuck. Fuck alone I want to go. Back and forth my own. The. Like when when I was my pilot, literally, the lady who did cater was own pins and needles who I said what the fuck is wrong with you. You Star as opposed. That's a bitch, all stars. It takes all of us to shoot these pilot. Okay, don't be holding me people at way. No meat, eat bitch. I'm going to eat anyway and I. I mean like they one thing I did like when I show. My pilot is when they made the extras way. I'm like all human beings while we can't get to go. You got the other month that doing something. He's supposed to what tell his fucking assistant. Because everybody got assistant assistant got system the fix fucking play input into microwave like real nichols do. I think she called you driving back from. From Joe Rogan. and. Her lawyer had sent her dom Perignon as a thank you. She's like this is stupid. Why would he send me this? This is annoying. I'm. You coulda gave me to unfitted I'll give me a week. She literally called him and said that. Thank you token. Bullshit I you. House on flow right now. Not at ain't thanks I'll drink down. Open your. Now! IS A. Little bottle. I can't drink the she. Should I like olive garden. Allen Godoi. Are Down. Or go done gardening. K. Spell down breeze. My My agent but me. Bottom shoe because when I sat my. Set My Netflix. About shoes I had on was like. Nine hundred dollars and it was rare about my friend taught me. He's he's. GonNa go great with you. Would you do look good, but I don't. One hundred dollar heals our lie. Heels Niggle. About these you and what I did is i. tape the bottom up. Your. Red, electrical tape. No as hard wherever nine lose. PAYPAL and the Dow foam up under the bottom, so he's hurt me. SCREAM CREEK! So. I put on my manager. Lloyd out and it was like what did you get it on your shoes? I'm taking me she. was taking the ahead. Yeah, shoot now on the night. I. GotTa take a break. Vinny. Tell You A. Few days before guys. Is there something interfere with your happenings are prevent you from achieving your goals cannot tell you about a program called better help better health would assis- your knees and met you with your own licensed professional therapies. You Start Communicating under twenty four hours. Listen is not a crisis hotline. Okay is not self help is the professional counselor Don Secretly Online? You Ain't got nobody you'll be not your mama system not onto ninety is between you and whoever you choose to be your counselor. There's a broad range of experts available, which may not be locally available in many areas. 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P. and join over eight hundred thousand people taking care of their mental health with the help of his spears, professionals of for my down listeners. Because I love you guys, you get ten percent off your first month. Go to better help, DOT COM bt are. Snapchat down and get your ten percent and get Joe Mental, health and life together today. 'cause your girlfriend and got out to answer. You can thank me later. You already know Ms Pat. Favorite Z's whether you're working from home, or you're working on your fitness. You WanNa. Listen to whatever you want to listen to like. If you WANNA Bang. The pat down in your ears. Bena pat-downs in your ears with the one only recon ear bose. Everyone needs a great parent Yuba. Before you go dropping hundreds of dollars on a pair, you need to check out these wildly bullets ray on and yeah. I know about Y'all picking. We've percent yearbooks, but this week that you're. So come on and get yourself some you already know. Rake on. 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We make sharp durable blades and sell them at honest prices for as low as two dollars each. We care about quality so much that we do some crazy things like world class German Blade factory obsessing. Obsessing over, every detail means we're confident and offering one hundred percent quality guarantee. Millions of guys have already made the switch to Harry's so thank you if you're one of them, and if you're not, we hope you give us a try with this special offer. Get a Harry starter set with a five blade. Razor Waited Handle Shave Gel and a travel cover offered just three bucks plus free shipping just go to Harrys DOT COM and enter eight, nine, eight nine at checkout. That's Harrys dot com code, eight, nine, eight nine. Enjoy. So as I was saying vertebrae. I fucking take my shoes and they would look at me. Bitch you making decent Mungo Fuck I wanNA. Do, so when was that the pilot everybody bringing me right? Just alcohol, all kinds of sheep and wanted it gives was the pair ray bottom shoe decrease it towed as easy to get. That was a i. think toy at that. Whole shoes. She was she was hoping given to her. That's not what might crooked as John. I can't let them chew. Left man. Momma is pushing lake. Scales towards balloting. I would've putting them shoes all fucked up my equal liberty in my vagina. So I want fugger them shoot. I grabbed him focus shoes and took them back and got me a possible. Some I'm going use I can't do that. Shit, I'm. Like White Center brisket, be high as he shoe dog. Muggy kneecap shake. I can't do this. Shit me I just I like simple she. I like being around real people. I like simple she. Needs you coming up to me, acknowledged you crazy shit! I July simple sheet. Where do you think that comes from that? Just that you are exactly as you seem like this? Is You like there's no most people in entertainment. There's like two versions of them like where does that authenticity come from drug dealing money Nigga. I don't want to bring in the streets. I. Had a fucking dope dealing money so when you dope dealer Monday? This out is Hollywood money I don't give a fuck about having lunch. The wheels meal I don't me a nice guy. I'M A fan. I gives a fuck about ice cube. Everybody know in Chink fillets. Everybody, go fuck out. I'll say this to like coming from Atlanta. He's liberties all the time. You know what I'm saying they. Ain't nothing okay. Liberty you know I'll have to. Do it ain't even about being a celebrity I like people a pickup post beers, so if spirit right then I have a conversation with you have your spirit against the fuck. Fuck, who you I? Run up taking pictures you out. You Fuck. I don't folk who you are on folk. Don't dish. Don't excite me because his work. You know where people are Oh my God. You're doing his business as my job do I. Come to your job and get excited about what you do. So whatta fucker you getting excited about what I do a job I don't hear the physically klopp obituary. My Eyes Open working. Who Ram don't even think athlete. Knows, you, call, You woke me up at five the other morning. Why are you up? Breath is in the middle I. Wanted to. Get Oh, but let's say. Anything that's the worst part of being. PADS I had to go to braver never if I eat come on breakfast. Breakfast. It'd be oranges and bananas. Apples coffee. You may reservation for. GotTa! Talk. I like breakfast. I like to get up early because my mind is always fucking going I remember watching. The Michael Jackson move leaves a little boy, and he got his first lady damn near lost his mind and their market. The off his face. And so. New! Yeah and he was like he was locked in his room of Mr Bubble and he say I don't know Mommy I just get all of this music in my head, and I can't get it out and I feel like that all the time like Shit just be jumping at my and I'll be picking. We'll say what is dear. Let me. Just leave people to walk alone and just write this down because literally I can think of five six I. Did I just call you guys the other day about ideal and everybody's like fucking. Fun House like A. RANDOM STREET BAM POPS OUT OF MY head and Multi same way with comedy is like I'll go to sleep thinking about it i. wake up thinking about it little. Our my husband Miller Hey nigga style snow. What do you did define? He lead me to long. I'm like I need to test it out on somebody before I. write it down and you close them vulgar next sylvie. Clock in the morning to hey, you will. And I think. I think a lot of it is from me being a juror, dilip, because you know I'm always watching my back always up early Friday when I crack May. He's fucking like roaches may out waiting for their mother motherfucking direct deposit here she. Didn't. Rule Out. A. Young NIGGA. Sleep. I was getting out early. Modern more than one of from sixteen to clogging I will get all that money I'm about four five thousand votes day already started so everything else was gravy so I I stay even when I shake. I was there when the mall opened. 'cause people ain't focused when the mall is opening, and you go in there and do your business you out when out other criminals come through. They get caught so when you're selling drugs. You're making four five thousand dollars a day now. At one trip. I was about ten grand a day. When. I had a partner named fault. Yeah I so much money. What did you do? What would you do with that and they go to? A, young age so. Yeah, so that's my first one two thousand dollars when I was sixteen. Wow, I'm when I I made my first thousand dollar because on my his father went to jail. No But I was struggling and I'm got my because you know Whacko from. Style just counter. Thousand seem like a lot. where I came from so when I got my first thousand dollar actually thought I was reached. Anyone we kept going in hooked my friend fraud and the trump. Oh, my God was my old street on Baldwin play until it all down now over there in the way steam. And when I lived. We moved away when I came back, he was like Oh ain't nobody. Junk is coming out of the projects and I went over there, and I made out at money's got them. Quick I just moved to trout right? That's my old neighbor and the money was fucking. Stupid sounds. Yeah, it was stupid and I remember my I had a friend. We don't from nine. Then out of was what debt then? Ended up. In Israel, but he wanted to. Be Funny. Did there was. No one over there by. Over by the stadium over about dome. Those projects right there is. No not. Until now. I can call my question. But so any projects? I wanted to his house one time and see the fast out the him. When you on the federal government after you, you go and Change Your profession because you doubt they're going to get you, Jeff, so I went always house one in the first time I've seen the silence of God just had a shooting in the bag, and he just got salads of all his boys, guns and sheep. Sheep, and so I was over there to get like a quarter of a key. Don't and so I'll go now and I. Never seen this much dope in my life, and then Nigga Hey, money stacked to the wall by tallest me Co Cassidy. GimMe my little dope so I'll get the fuck outta here because they come in here right now. We ain't gonNA never get out of jail. Said and like this bitch was doing my hair because his girlfriend had. He ended up od, but I tell you. The willies re re weird. Is Drug Dylan? To! Have you go online? You Google Song can't get no lower. His name was Tim. He was big time. I can tell you now. 'cause he went to the face, and he was the most nerdy mother fucker. Look like he corre- nerdy is full out of low Ryan trucks used remember song can no law. That was my supply for own show A. Made that Nigga so much, mother fucking money. I probably made him millions and I had a college student, a boy who was in in house I mean morehouse college student. He was there for to be a doctor came from a very wealthy family and started selling dope. Lame is motherfucking lice. Game, Nigga you have WANNA see with the Kurla hair all the cocaine. You ever wanted to motherfucker city. He don't want taught me how to say it I mean he didn't want to cook though I'm like. Why are you selling dope and you and caused to be a mother fucking of Doctor. You! He was literally at Morehouse College. For some type of be doctor, he told me and he was selling old dote. Emma fell one time delivering two kilos adult over the only street in the rain on a motorcycle and Shit Damn near ripped. His showed he had their bleeding. He got like two hundred thousand book bag and. He got two kiddos dose strapped onto the fucking motorcycle. He said well, he failed. He told they can't. Take the dope and get the fuck out. I just rented a gay some who stopped two kilos adult. We used to take the dope and the money. That's why he didn't get locked up Knicks. His shoulder down to his elbow. Say. You shouldn't do in the Michael Jackson Thriller Back. Out of that ten thousand dollars a day. Like what's your profit margin like how much you keeping? And what are you doing? I had a partner. So what we would do is. We would take it and we buy a quarter key. Remember they she I think tank quarter Qisas nine ounces. Make you make about two grand up by eighteen thousand miles back by what we will do it. The nine thousand dollars I. WE SPLIT differ. We will go by. We'll split it down the mirror and go by what on the next time. Yeah, so you just keep putting back into it some of it. Yeah, and then you will take your money that you say, and you can't go to the bank account adult money. Down notes. Chris Wilken the trap and one. Oh One. Could take because I've never had a bank account. My Bank account was always in the house. He had no money. I can figure this out. Marine. Album somebody broke in my house. One time stole like twelve ounces of Dope twelve ounce. They used to go for nine hundred thousand dollars a piece. Wow, and I was so fucking pissed. Because I know these regular has negative live near me. She's still mad. My friend Tim like that. She brought me a whole nother fucking twelve ounces adult. Wow and edges heat the trip I used to. I was really comfortable, sixteen seventeen. This. I'll just trying to get my license permit. English. Just discovered. You know limp biscuit. Kool G Willa cours now. My my kids running with Jordan and Polo with no Paulo bag polo wasn't popular Tommy Hilfiger. Everybody had had some. Notable me now that what we wouldn't a trail. We Will Paulo and nautical. That's what everybody will polo in nautical. And it was MCM which made a major comeback and they will Gucci. Louvre Thanh and everybody you know, everybody wanted. A hand held phone. That's one thing I. Never I, I. couldn't I talked too much the? I fucking literally I would just tell him Gary on. There might say we saw my police brutality, right and I I don't know what type of police is I? Don't understand a police today. Even as a crack bill. They was nice to me like literally with Elvis a beer took their one on me because he found my dope that my cousin he he literally paid me and say you need to turn yourself in because you ain't GonNa say dope to get you for this war, so I was saying look Nigga let me, said land little bit of Dope, and then we'll come on determined because I gotTA. Make a bomb. It's an actual conversation you had. Office a beer. was at the mind, but let me try to Chelsea work with me, so I can work with. The more. Do Movement. Gala heads up on me but I gotta get you. Clack clack gotta run for Mayor, I will say dealt when he clocked out, when because I knew he was a morning officer, so whenever whenever three thirty. Hour literally call the police departments. They can be a beer. Oh, he's left for today. Yeah, come on and go, said it. Don't put it the clock in the morning. Thank you, what? What are you taking vacation? Did you ever think about like moving up to that next level? Where that you know, the doctor was or like growing it grows. I wasn't a very bad relationship with my first kid. And nobody will give me the, didn't. Won't they kind life back? Then you know that's when black really started killing each other during the crackup them I. Want to go kill nobody that's. Just wrong. We ain't got like that over there. She we sell and tell us and ORCAS and brothers and she'd. Been in the family. This is wholesome. Crack dealing yes. I was I wasn't. Even, when I had I had a Seville Cadillac and that beach was that they had to fucking remote control is I get. Remote Control Radio, the joystick rail machine. Then you this win pop your face. I came out. The joystick, the boom back I'm sixteen years old with a crackhead on the side lot of license and this. Like. Sixteen I had spoke on the back wheels on my bike. I don't want to hear your board. Not Crack rails. I had to chrome going down the side of the car. The Big Cadillac grew at egon out my out a sun roof. Hours. Ryden isn't stole my car and my kids. My father like they kidnap and don't beat Hey. NIGGA wingo about over no call. We're GONNA Whoop Disney as because he stole my boom macabre. We don't kill nobody. I ain't trying to go to jail. I'm just wanted. A new radio, mccaw so funny, so but I I wasn't violent like that like I respect it the the crank case. And then she had the kids. You know who I miss the most from selling crack, so it was, it was his junkie. He's name was rehab so every time he bought dope for me, said Hey, rabbit ginsu sacks. I'm going to the Rehab so i. just named Rehab because every time you buy, he's. Sexy? All. Relax. He said Rehab. I named Rehab. The funny. She had one time I'll moving. As Rehab, I need to go get into the trash can and give me a basel bunch of boxes because a movie, so we had to win and got out through the fucking hood and got out he fucking box out in the back of the ship, and so he's GonNa. Pay Me my three rocks whereabouts. GonNa, get fucked up my face. He's looking at Bitch GonNA. Or. You'RE GONNA pay Rent Cross. Who Do you want to pay? FORGOTTEN SC Go Nagai won't pay the Red Cross. That line to this day. That's why I got. Cranky Rehab so one day I go to say don't. have been raining like hail, so it was a Friday. I never forget. And, I, put on to ask regarding amas there, and so, what's going on and they say may Rehab those failing in the award, a little pole award and drown Abbas. Hurt I was so fucking. Her I ain't nobody GONNA tim they go into the Rehab No. Hours! He had a twin brother rights and I forgot swim. That was relapse. Redo. Brother was cry. Embedded. So I brother were crying. Games in dope and. Flowers. And I. Hope. Very your brother. Take take where he was going to. About. Ms Rehab I still call him he's bitch. Bushy your again you're GonNa pay me on a Red Cross, the line and that's. To require a fuck, you pay rent, cry now the funniest sheet to me and I run by Rehab all the fucking time. Rehab alighting Indian. Indiana mixed some really nice him and his brother. They could have been keep begging today, so rest impedes rehab wherever you might be slow Neyla Heaven. This time! By goes to hell when he comes down against the. Rehab. In having maybe. No his heaven was cracked. Right. GonNa say rest in peace of and we're going to close out. Thank you so much for leads to another episode of the PAT down. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of the Pat Down, make sure you check out my website at Miss Tech Company. Dot Com for all of my social media. My tour dates my bull. Make sure you spread the word about my podcast. Please rate every beep. Please rate and review share Seca so much alabi Ms Pat.

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Episode 58: Ms. Pat's Favorites

The Patdown with Ms. Pat

44:50 min | 10 months ago

Episode 58: Ms. Pat's Favorites

"Starlings thank you for listening to the Star Burns Audio podcast network. We have so many great comedy shows to add to your playlist just last week on Star. Burns audio on dumb gay politics. Julian Brandy Talk to fellow Bravo. Levity Cheyenne Shea. About all the drama happening this season on Banepa pump rules on ghosted by ROZ DRISCOLL AS Roma's welcomes Jack Osborne to talk about his paranormal. Show portals to hell and some ghostly experiences at home with his family on. Natch Jackie and her guests Laura Wilcox get intimate and talk all about eighty hygiene on your ever. David Hampton read listener stories. Well being banned from a place searched arbenz audio on apple podcasts spotify for any podcast platform for a full list of our shows featuring hosts like Joe boy the sklar brothers and Miss Pat. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and twitter at stubborn audio. Enjoy the show. 'em Remember. Stay safe stay healthy and keep laughing. Hey It's white boy Chris pat-downs ever made you laugh. Then join our patriotic and support US get bonus content a t shirt or an autograph copy of Rabbit. Ms Pats autobiography visit. Miss Pat Comedy Dot Com for the link to the Patriot. And while you're there join our facebook group welcome to another episode of the pet down We're talking about me so stay tuned so you can hear about me is best fitting. The real facts fat got to play with these same lines. Siemens on real crime time you put on you. The play pin up nothing ever taste often on your desktop computer to plead. I'm over our favorite Internet video sites. People always ask me. What's what's it like hanging out with miss. They always want to know more and more. What's your favorites? What stuff do you like? And I don't like having those conversations with people I prefer to come from you. So what are you asking me? People want to know. What are the things that Miss Pat Likes the most? So what's your favorite color? What's leaving in that? My favorite call is white. Lamma believe Motherfucker as well my favorite colors white at never guessed that yeah? I Love White. Why ruin he's going to do show always have on a White Lane? I do love like white is like I like clean and simple and start lives. Yeah you never see that in my house what else do I like? I like a like I said earlier. I like a lot of movies. Where you shoot. 'em Up and stuff like that. So titanic is your favorite drama De ever favorite action movie. 'cause we went and saw bad boys which was that was really fucking good. But I can't say that was like my favorite movie like I could sit and watch titanic Guinea combat. Me Titanic is something that and we're not fucking it's really what's it was so there's no way out of let you sit on that book door and Code Kodama fucking Rick were like in Lion King like you reach your hand. I know so who don't want a man that will freeze for you. He didn't have to. He didn't have to. She could have made room. You'd think so absolutely don't you? I don't think they would have both of them. But if he was really a man he'd Adiba wanted them bitches off their bowl. You had been on that motherfucker waiting in the water for Hill Depot. Even were Friday came up before. Titanic you Tanisha from Eighteen. Nineteen nineteen thirteen nineteen one. Nine hundred about a seri- what year was titanic. I think it was like one thousand nine hundred. What else do I like? I like Stan. Nineteen I was closed. Eighteen Ninety two was like ninety four. Yeah the movies. Like Ninety four at the movie came out like Ninety Eight. I don't listen to like I said this on another episode. I listened to a lot of owned music. Like I really like Whitney. Houston I listen to Ti. I like nineties are being hip hop your seventies seventies nineties eighties. That's me you rally GonNa hear me like Shit Tana jogging the same James Young. Are you foul you I do this I like? I like songs and put those songs on repeat and I listened to them over and over. I don't listen to whole albums I like. This is the album's either. This is one specific song from one specific artist and they should she jumps around to the next year so I like. I like listened to the whole album. Yeah Well John. Seem I do because Jay ain't got some songs that people didn't catch onto. That should have been here like I found you. I never heard of it listens to a lot of Lipton up lifting stuff. Listen TO BID SUMMA BIG HOLE. Now Hang on due out it now. I got Vertigo in. I'm old I don't listen sheet when they tell you to do. She can do so. They meet as a younger Lang Turano. As ain't making no get off like my daughter love making them little makeup tutorial videos that she would do. I hate doing what I see. Other people do everything you know like. Oh It's a challenge challenged kiss my eyes because I don't like to be challenged into way. Get caught up into the Internet bullshit. You had the first twenty years. You don't need anymore. Thank you God. Damn right do you. When did you because I would say in the last two or three years? I've given up on being trendy or following trendy things or any of that kind of stuff like. When did you decide? Like I'm not GonNa follow it any of these trends. I'm GONNA stick with what I like like. When did you cross that bridge about twenty five? I was old okay about in my early twenties I was. Oh because I already keys. That'd be shot up in prison. I I've fucking done. Yeah I was done so fuck you know like like to hang out with. Oh you gotta do is put a little push it up on the Beige limitation. I'm forty eight. Years old is terribly Koneohe thing you know how when get a little rings. A bunny is because you tied travel. Eight by snatching. Your Eyes Back Medicaid. Take your blood from Donald sticking around highway as as limitation. It's called heart before you say her body do all is Bush out doing okay. I ain't gonNA take motherfucking way back in the back seat to try to move up so that gap all pop musical chairs in your mouth wants to stops your ass. Better be edged walk. Somebody walking in with a molar tooth chewing teeth in the front today was no one day. She was making his shoemaking. His girl who falls teeth in a Michael you who heads Fossey with making them like an easy bake. Popcorn Rosen me. Teeth is what were they really. They called me. She say. Beat coke get your microwaveable t who give fun. She'll I'm telling she was. I'M GONNA cry. Tears wasn't wasn't flying so we could call making teeth. She don't give a question. You can't sit. What's at my house when I first met her own. Craig as we show is doing hair right so I go over to help you get had but she has somebody who still out at Teeth Whitening Dennis sheet from the light the jail and a chair own so as you would get your head. She was also. Whiten your spouse. You weren't lying first time you've ever mentioned on the show. I think it was a bonus episode for patriotic and IT WAS. They sell everything there. You want bikes chicken abortion. There's one thing that I need a professional for this my motherfucker teeth. I'm not going to the dentist. Day was selling the whitening thing and whoever worked at a did was still near the dentist chair to hold your mouth. She had the whole set up in her dining room and she charged you like seventy five dollars to. Whiten your teeth why she did show and it was literally Bitch Guinea. Talk you into some. She Go Goldberg Shaky. Wise as look bitch what I'm not GonNa do fuck around and put their UV like own. My mother fucker lives and burn them to fuck out. I'm not doing the fuck out doing. I don't even know what the right light ball for this whitening cream beat on. Bake my mother fucker phase. Yeah Man Day. My friend Khamis is a biscuit squish making teeth in the microwave wall she not got spaghetti. Stains no leader. Michael see new. Somebody who who made false team so the girl brought to clay over there as she bikes you bite into the clay and show your they make a mold and make the mold making them like teeth. Whitening I get because all right. You're just putting a light and some chemicals on your mouth but you're getting implants. Knicks can walk in and say I missed ghetto. I love the fucking ghetto. Keeps you humble? Let you know where you come from. Like our sitting in queasy shot one day. This do walking. He said Carol Daughters with me today no he popped his trump and I don't know what a fuck he get out care doors causing about fifteen dollars for the shampoo guys up you black lizzy not fucking. I'm semi is Netra have product I think he had at least fifteen to twenty Baig. Trash came big ass trash cans full of this year. It was three to five dollar which was a hell of a deal but when you try to talk him now he had taken a pitch out of Walmart and CVS. Would it really calls while before? Stolen comparison shopping. This deal and I say Yeah Fuck Shit Walmart and I'll Walmart is oh you so. I asked him what he stole. This from the trash game food take a break and this job you can get everything and this will come back into the we get. Something was talking about earlier. Is this something interfere with which happens other than this quarantine we've been in for? The last. Few months are preventing you from achieving your goals. You know like maybe a trip to the moon. Become a net teacher a lawyer doctor. Whatever you won't be can I just tell you about something called better help? How better health would assess your knees and met you with your own licensed therapist. You can start communicating. Y'All under twenty four hours. Let me just say one thing? Now this is not no crisis. Hotline Okay is not self help is a professional counselor done secretly online. There's a broad range of experts available which may not be available in your area you. Hey you might live in Utah. But you don't have to worry about. Do they have licensed counselor for you online secretly? Nobody knows about it. You can log into your account anytime and send a message to your counselor. You get timely. And thoughtful responses plus Yuka schedule a weekly videos in phone stations. Because you know we all can go outside right now but better health gotcha baby. Didn't want to sit in uncomfortable. Waiting Room Gins seek around people. That don't make you feel comfortable. Better help is committing to facilitate great therapeutic matches so day make it easy and free to change counselors needed. So if you might and you don't like call it a hair it ain't day here making you nervous better have got you baby. Better health wants you to start living a happier life today. All you gotTa do is visit their website and read their testimonies. They're posted daily fish offers for my podcast listeners. Because I know we all need better here. Baby we in corn. We need somebody to talk to. Our wigs got alopicia. I'm here to save the day along with better go to bt E. R. H. E. L. P. dot com slash pat down and my listeners. Get ten percent of the first month. Come on stopped. Lp On wis better help Gotcha baby wake up and get some happy in your life. Don't let this quarantine keep you. Dale go to R. H. E. L. P. dot com slash pet- down. For your first month. You get ten percent for all the PAT down podcast listeners. Hey guys raining Jason. Sklar here from the podcast dumb people town that we do with our buddy Daniel van Kirk. And if you haven't heard our podcast yet it is an exploration and a celebration of the stupidity that is happening in this world. It is a true crime. Podcast where no one dies just people's stupidity rates and it could kill us all it could We believe the world's getting dumber We believe that dumb is getting louder. or smart is a little bunny and dumb keeps putting it to heart. It's like he likes. He doesn't smile or hitting it now. He loved doing it. We get three unbelievable news. Stories sent to us about people doing dumb things and we break them down with incredible guests like Tiffany Haddish. Jon Hamm Patent Oswald Paul Tompkins and many more We try to get to the root of what is dumb behavior. It is a fantastic comedic romp. Please join US dumb people town. Check it out go so we were talking about F- fair video for US talking about how she go down in the hood and you can get your own to own. He'll street it. Will you mean by video music videos music video just people? They always in boxing me asking for more information about you. What what she really liked. But you really don't like we all know your favorite movie. Titanic like you know what I don't like when people when people write me and God is issue vision. You write me you know. I can rewrite the I get asked. I don't know about you. That's a real mess. Pat Does she have somebody run. Her account always me me me. It's definitely heard when you get a message with Typos. Go follow her twitter really. If it's all spill correctly heard one is me. One Night I was sitting there and I was getting ready to his personal message and then I needed to go back in the edited said. Is this right so I said the message and I was like fuck. I did not mean sending a message I was trying to end. It was like three o'clock in the morning was trying to answer this and then she was like as a child. I was not trying to sit in it and I was trying to end and she said Oh I speak as a okay. I'm glad you do 'cause some days I don't but I don't like day because I'm like sometime. I just pick up the phone and I ask a question I pick up. The phone is issue is me vocal. I like talking to people. I'm human being. I mean ambience. They yow I liked. I literally light talking to people and I think that's one of the qualities that you have is as you've gotten more and more successful you. I've seen that you've stayed the exact same person I think. I will always be the same person because I tell people all the time. You can't wine and dine me because I don't Dylan Four. Check foraging money so you know what I'm saying. I've I've had the finest dinner I've had good things in life. I'm okay I don't. I don't care to have a super famous person as my frame accurate. I have a normal person. You be round you guys in the be around the you know hiking when I be ready to face she I hate I hate when I go to places like Oh my God. I'm like Biz talk and Brevet saying You know got down. Well you ain't on all talk to your bill. I didn't know that was due today. Bitch breathe right that over the top fake excitement. Yeah I love you. Bet You don't even know me the fuck are you talking about? Yeah what the Fuck Night Glow. I think so many celebrities want that Dick Sucking though. That's why they do it because they just like. I'm safer to do it this way. Then they don't get offended even with like agents and managers like those people are day they. They're like the pacified a client. I hate to be pacified because to me I can't grow as a talent. If you scared to tell me well fucking up when I MAKE MONEY. We all make money so off. His don't work. Tell me so like when my own manager John. My old man's John McDonnell he was so fucking on it and we have been to get like five or six years. Where where he would just fuck and be honest. He was not scared to say what the fuck was on his mind to me was sometimes out of hand. But I'm like Oh no you work for me or for you for good with you but I love the man to death. We bought always knew that I really crazy about our great agent and But in the beginning you know you could tell it was scared to look how tell me? I don't I don't if tell me I don't need you. Pacify me if I get to the point where I'm acting stupid us a bitch come to fuck down. Let's talk but it will be scared. The tail me. Well fucking away. I can grow it because I'm not that type of I can take criticism sheet. I the day I was born and NECAS burs boy food. They need April. Maybe criticize me. I came a pussy ONA sidewalk. She says she been a call. But in a way that I like real people and that's one thing I always try to tell you know my team be real me. You don't ever don't shit from me if a mother fucking light me tell me you. Don't they don't like me and let me move the fuck on. I'll need you to say well. They decided to go another way now. That made them fuck enlighten me. Nick cited like me. I'm cool with it. She has there ever been some creative criticism that you've gotten in the last few years of you've you've been around Hollywood where you were just like man there right but this really sucks. I didn't hear that about myself now because I go to Real People. I like my friend. Cortlandt YOU GO TO REAL PEOPLE. I and I 'cause I noted not gonNA bite their tall. You know what I'm saying. I'm not going to bite my tongue when it comes down to them so if always if I feel like it's something that I need to work on I asked them. I what I what I think about you. That it's inspirational is it always seems like even if you're not where you want to be your always on that road. I don't think I've ever thirteen fourteen years that I've known you. I don't think you've ever been far off from what you've been trying to achieve. You know what I'm saying so it's like we go back to the drawing board and start all over. You've always been fairly close if you're not already on the track to where you want your building a wall you're always laying brick. Yeah it's never just you're never out there fucking around me because my you know I tell people I said I learned over the years of doing comedy people. I WANNA blow up all WanNa make the money I say. Stop focusing on the money and focus on the craft like comedy Mica Ritz. Meeting has been nothing but a big puzzle so every little thing I get it just another piece of land to the puzzle like the wall. You guys say so. Every time I get an opportunity. There's just another piece so if I happen to get a TV show or sh shut my pilot last year still way no NATO up you know whatever I get is one thing my husband always say you're never satisfied because I've said there's so many times before once you get satisfied you have nothing to work toys. You become a lazy motherfuckers and then you won't you want everybody else to prop up and tell you how great you are instead of working to continue to be great within yourself. Does this high look at it. You know what I'm saying. I think I'd say there's a couple of episodes ago. I have something in my head where I'm wake up in the morning. I was just talking to my friends less and we was talking about small business loan so she say. Do you ever sleep as she said. That's what I admire about. She said you always thinking about their next move. Because I've told you so many times people think I'm spontaneous. I'm not like I was telling us. Oh this is my plan. Pass my rental housing and Atlanta. I'm going to sell this House and I'm GonNa do this. I'm going to do that. And she's like what are you come up with? This shit is always my brain's is always taken. Yeah because that's the only way you're gonNA make moves. I don't think you're spontaneous at all. I think your strategic in. That's getting to know you. I can see how from the outside perspective. You'd look at you. Oh she's so crazy she just always is over the top. She's do you know like at and I used to think that like oh she's really over the top because the context in which I would I would meet you or see you was at Bob and Tom or at a comedy club. And you're performing. Yeah you know whereas the person is much more strategic about things and like the other thing that. I've I've come to really appreciate which I knew before was just how meticulous you are and how dedicated yard of the craft of comedy. Yeah and you can see that in the different comedians. That come through Bob and Tom. You can see the people who are always working working really hard. They care about the craft. They're gonNA get to like the big names that you know. They're all like that. They're they're really hardworking. Meticulous that care about the craft but they're also super nice people. They're very helpful to people you know you fit that mold of Jim Gaffe of the cable guy of Foxworthy all the people that I've met there that kind of have that same mentality that they do which is why your success in my opinion is inevitable versus the people who come through and they're doing comedy so they can get a VH1 show or leverage that into the Bachelorette or leverage that into something else. And it's like you're not funny. You're not focusing on the craft at the craft. Me Everything to me because I love doing comedy so like if I'm writing a bit and usually my bits coming from conversation or something that I remembered some nights fucking say our literally cow five comedians. Well not five two or three because only got two or three freeze that I'm really close with and I will literally say. Have you ever heard this before I do it all the time? Don't day said her something similar. I said well I'm not. I thought away our literally throw it away. Dads are hard. I WANNA be a region. That's a hard I worked to to to make. While 'cause we you got to be honest I'm a girl they already say would not find bright so is almost like being born Black Man in the Americas you got two strikes to start I I gotta I gotTa take and would not fund the social media when a female comic comes on and unfortunately there's less female comics come on because there's less clubs and so there's less opportunity you and so the conversation has never when a man is on its are they on. You're not when a woman is on. It's always what do they look like from social coming? Look like no but like the like an audience. Yes they is the looks. Come first when it's a female. Comedians Asian women play out. They looks like I tell you. Say I'm not fucking Dagombas not fucking no opportunity. First of all I'm lazy okay. I'M NOT GONNA get naked and do all that bullshit you see. I just sale pussyfooting to take on row like literally if I was with. What's the man who jacking his? Dig Louis? Ck Louis C. K. Following wrote with Louis C. K. And he was looking to dig out have been the laziest victim of them. I probably would have fell asleep while Louis. Ck was being dragging his date. Because I would have gained probably have never got trump water just being. You wouldn't have never reported Louis. Ck goes beyond which probably would have been sleep while he would do low sexual energy. That's what I'm getting from you. It's beyond my business. You GOTTA LEARN HOW TO MIND. Your Business in this comedy. Were being everybody being Louis C. K. We'll Jackie they'll Louis C. K. D. Louis C. K. You dig it up on the ceiling. Lonely don't touch me right. I'm gotten into a Louis C. K. D. That's much embiid. I don't give up. I mind my mind my being. I'm the I'm of hit. Long assured two hours before club store Pam the headline already. I'm always early and I always try to tell anybody else won't for me. I always get to the club early. And why do you do that for once? You don't know what's going on within the next three hours or you need to be there. You might want to jump off a bridge. Feel like he can fly. You just might have a mother fucker. Who decided walk down the street and shoot up the whole focus street but if you already building you avoid again shot. I was thinking you know you might get mustard on. Your shirt. Need a new shirt. She's talking about suicidal mass murderer. GotTa make them to you gotta make I got caught in a traffic jam. One day foam of going jump off the breeze to eight five doing rush. I'm like Nigga. I'm trying to get home. I got so when spring break years ago. And we were driving back from Florida's thirteen hours and we were stuck in Tennessee for four hours because some mother fucker committed suicide and had the whole. Goddamn highway shut down. We were literally standstill traffic for three hours. So they get this motherfuckers car and body out of the guy dead. It takes them four hours to draw cirque around by not before picking up the sheet case. Often work silly but that was very silly. We're watching TV. Drama feel like watching a Marx brothers movie down and they get a negative crawler politics. That would that be your calling up a white person to yeah. I just get there early because I always want people to say good things about my work ethic and everybody should you know. I always try to tell my kids. Don't Miss No flight is accurate. Never missed a flight own. I get to if my if my flight is at five o'clock in the morning I'm lying. I'll be at the airport to thirty. People are how because you know is all about being on time for me just being part of being a professional being professional if I got something to say you pissed me off. Alcl twenty years ago out of Beach. Fucking. I'll beat you up. No I just call my. I just call. My crew is a hey. Y'All tell his mother that they treat me wrong. Yeah you're one of the most professional people I've ever worked with and it all stems from you wanting to give the audience a really good experience. You don't want any of them to be. Let down your like your set is just. It's designed to make the audience laugh because that's all you care about. That's all I care about as our. I want you to laugh on this time. I hit this date and you know what they learned about comedy. Everybody ain't GonNa like you. I have some people like busiest tragic shooting funny and I tell them. If you can't let the boost that you went through in life than you was mu g you better stop thinking about decadence and get over that they can see what the fun part of that. Dick Baiju coming out as is you can always find a maybe. He's roller skates on lead right. Who knows me and I know Dr? Did I tell you guys yesterday? I was sitting at home and just looking at Instagram. And up pop. Hi Howie Mandel. And he was live so as to how we have so I was like how. God's Pepsi's funniest comedy like Richard Properties Ca. Please come on. Today's I looked like Harriet. Something I just read one hundred and I will tie so I was like arrest. Harriet Tubman has to Napoleon. Hey so he's co resting area. I thought you said you were arresting. Commuted Right Tubman do go to jail. I'll say Harriet tubman break. His Pat look like a pineapple that day Paulie so he keeps his thing as let's go live and I'm like oh how fucking hair has not done so I go into gear. Keep your hair wrapped because you never and I yanked rep awful. He put it on my and so I don't want anybody see me 'cause Skin broke out and I looked like she so I run outside and I put the light in the phone so he can see me and I was like. I can't let you see me. I'M ALL FUCKED UP I. It was such a great conversation so I said what are you doing? I said I'm working on a project downstairs. I say it so. I took him seven shoulder. My downstairs kitchen. He's like you. Do you do say all day and it was so fucking fun talking to Howie. Dale that's awesome. Yeah he's really funny he has. He's like he was like when he was on stage. She's just naturally funny. He seems like he might be uptight but he wasn't at all yet as he's like. I DID A PODCAST. Only one of my book and he was like. Oh I'm telling everybody re my booking I look up twelve fucking books damage but he was. It was a great conversation with him. And you know he just went on and on and on. About how like Richard Problem like one day and then I showed him my Richard Pryor pitcher in my office. He's like you are just you just not knowing I said. Yeah one day I would love to be like Richard because you heard other people being like Richard but not quite light Richard. I'd you are pretty close. There's I mean he was so unique in the fact that his he was the first one. Yeah we took a break. He you need to take that. So what would you say that? The animals are richer for his time. Frame I mean he was comedy really blew up in the seventies and Soga Baked in. And I wasn't even born. Are you heard? You don't remember if you were born? I was born in seventy two. So comedy was really popping bank thing so it. I mean the the the bubble was like late eighty s but as far as I mean your stories are similar with the beasts and the trauma and just being able to articulate the funny and the tragedy. I think that's where you compare to Richard. The most is your ability to find the humor in the most fucked up situations like he set on fire and he found funny in that. You really can you. I mean a lot a lot of comics to do that. I think what what I've learned over the eighteen years of doing comedy. You gotta be willing to put it all out there and I give a fuck what people think. You have to be healed. I I don't I don't think you can really talk about what fucks you up. What fuck you up with with this. I think the more you talk about. It's no different than you. Sit on a couch with a counselor only different. This you got fucking four hundred councils that night this listening to you so is really healing and not only is healing for you is also healing for the person in the audience that have similar situations let them know. Find funny and everything any heels. She'll me so much because like when I first started comedy. I was ashamed to tell people hours of teenage mom. It took some years. It wasn't so I moved here to indy. It took some years for me to tell people that I had my first child. Fourteen by mayor man was able to smile because they like what the fuck you know. People automatically WANNA judge. You Hot Bitch was. You didn't have you know High Bitch Old Negro rape you and I'm like you call your Dick what you want to call them. But don't call my Dick rape his was a rapist comfort with being judged like. That's the thing that I like. I I never wanted to do comedy or wanted to do. Stand up because I you know I'm comfortable here and I can talk about whatever we have a conversation but walking out on the stage and then exposing yourself to a group of people and maybe they'll laugh just the the amount of vulnerability that you like. I think it's easier than what people think. It is honestly because you don't go up there without a plan right. I mean obviously you. First start out doing comedy. You don't know what you're doing but the more and more you do it and when you get to talk to real comedians who give you real information get advice. Yeah it gets way easier to be open and I think that's really what helped me get over. Some of the tragedies in my life is when you get out there and you're up just you and you can only see like three or four people in the front row those bright lights but you can hear the relief that you're giving people it's a it's a feeling it's a healing of yourself through laughter of others which. I don't I don't know any other job that's like that. Yeah and ails. You know like when I wrote the book and you know maybe to talk about my Mama Boyfriend and and I was sitting there thinking about the situation of the day and I was like. That's my goal to find the funny. In what Mr John did to me and I will. It takes time like I used to tell a bit about being shot in the back of the head where I nobody will ever laugh at it. Oh my God did you got right. But then they started laughing one him saying my baby daddy shot in the back of the head. It was not his fault. It was my fault because duck slow and everybody started laughing because everybody knows fast enough. You might not get hit with a bullet in. Hey I interpret that. I'm laughing because what a bizarre weird thing to think you're GONNA get no try to find a I work really hard on it. You know some Nice. I'm up and I'm talking to D. N. A. Two or three o'clock in the morning. My friend Cartland really really. Because that's when I want 'cause I gotta began his family and that's when I can get some peace and I'm able to do I can do but you know I'll take this serious now and I hate to see eye to see before her witted. I literally hate to see before rerouted. I see mother. Fuckers ain't talking about Shida. I remember when I first moved any and I'm like hey whiteboard. Can You please go rob a bank so you can have something to talk about? This is one of my favorite things to do is a Sydney back of the room with Ms Pat. And just hear talk about comics this motherfucker sudden. I love to watch people bombed that shit makes. Oh It's so fun. She says every time and I'm sitting in the back like I know he tried to do with that shit ain't working at a if I bring up a comedian. He seemed funny. I mean I had to learn just because they're not funny to me. It doesn't make that person funny but I like people are like comics and talk about one of my favorite female comedians. Read now is fucking Michelle Wolf pitches. So she makes me laugh out loud all and I just. It's not only dead is the way she says she and. I love when you see when you don't know where comedian is going because I mean you've been doing coming along. And he said and beg Bob Shot all now. Okay you got gotTA DATE WITH A D. O. Guys CHOKED. What you did guarding your. Nobody would have come out where to put my act up. What were you we did was the married? Like a good comic like Deja Pale and Chris Rock and to size. You know those people. You don't know where it's coming from so Michelle. Wolf is the she to me. She is so fucking funny and I went up to helium and she was playing helium. One I really WanNa meet this career because I'm a fan and so I go and I was like hi. Michelle Wolf Ms pay and I just wanted to meet. She's like ms and I'm like bitching me bitch. I'm like they do and I was so I was actually a little group of Michelle Wolves. I really like her. She's so fucking funny to me and a rally. Do I see a woman that I really liked? She told she has this joke about not liking to fuck dues with big dicks and that may be so sad. I think favorite Michelle what is always in like with big dickey in a twist is actually like politics. Something connected to that big. She Ain't just dig jolt right she. So fuck is smart. She's good. We got to start wrapping up. Why I'm enjoying you guys got a meeting. Yeah I do have a at a meeting so you gotta you gotta you gotTa do make up. The we miss anything now. We can do it for another so they won't be. Oh okay. There's always new to talk about. We haven't talked about. Are we have done this for a year? And we have not run out of anything fifty episodes we and we literally never get to what we what we never know. We don't even really into star Talk. That's what I love about the chemistry with us. This is is is like is that natural. Just just said Neta fucking back posts shooting a sheet. They say I don't I mean I I don't know so much about you on. I know how prepared she always says. I always liked to prepare. You seem prepared like so. It's funny for three prepares to show up. We'd like we got to have this plane. We gotTA HAVE THAT. We never get to it. We never get to any of it so by the time this episode comes out of the contest will probably be over right. Do we're running a contest. The cry baby one year anniversary. Okay Yeah we can. We can cut something that I can put in all for all the crack babies in the pat down group We're doing a one year anniversary giveaway. We're going to three winners in order to enter the contest. You have to do a video with your favor. Miss Pat Ism. We've already got a couple. One Lady had me cracking up. I put these she. We've so I'M GONNA get. I'M GONNA get care packages together for first second and third place winner and I'm going to announce the I'm GonNa go live with you in a group to say that you wanted to package so please give us your favorite Ms Pat Ism. You gotTA make a video. It can be no fucking words. You gotTa make video. We want to see how you imitate MS pet. Okay hold on on good class. Who WOULD SEE. It has to be in Greece me and my Goddamn so make sure Yo. Y'All do this. You got to make a video posted. Its then announcements It's at the top of the announcements posted a video in the comments. The contest lasts a week so may fourth is the last day post videos videos and if we need to extend the contest we can cause I understand. Some people will have technical issue. Some people got old phones. But we just WANNA see your favorite miss `ISMs video this quarantines going on and you can grab that linked to the facebook group on the on myspace website. Ms Pat Comedy Dot Com or. It's in the description of the podcast. Yeah so thank you guys for tuning in to next time. Y'All stay safe. Keep your hands watchkeeping as watch. And don't get the Rona Babe intro. Welcome to another episode of the pet down. We'll talk about me so stay tuned to music. You can hear about main. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of the pet down. Make sure you check out my website at Ms Pack Comedy Dot Com for all of my social media. My tour dates my book. Make sure you spread the word about my podcast please. Rate every veep please rate a review a share psychosomatic Ms Pat.

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Episode 57: Chicken Ass By the L B

The Patdown with Ms. Pat

1:35:29 hr | 10 months ago

Episode 57: Chicken Ass By the L B

"Starlings thank you for listening to the Star Burns Audio podcast network. We have so many comedy shows to add to your playlist just last week on starnes audio on emotional support. Allesandra is joined by her guests arch. They talk all about mental health dealing with loneliness while moving to a different country and becoming Paris. Hilton's bff on dumb gay politics. Julian Brandy interview the high school senior. Who's viral tweet? To President? Obama led to his historic nationwide graduation. Commencement address in the season. One finale of musicals that never made it gave in the gang are joined by. Broadway's drew going for inspirational. Show about the magic of self worth in the Great Zine on that black ash show comedian and actor Jejomar neighbors joins hosts dulcie Sloan and discussing the cultural impact of the movie Friday audio on Apple Podcasts spotify or any podcast platform or full list of our shows featuring hosts like Gilbert Godfrey Paula poundstone. And Kyle Kinane. Don't forget the foul was on instagram twitter at starbucks audio. Enjoy the show and remember. Stay safe stay healthy and keep laughing. Hey It's way boy Chris pat-downs ever made you laugh. Then join our patriot. Support US get bonus content a t shirt or an autograph copy of Rabbit. Ms Pats autobiography visit. Miss Pat Comedy Dot Com for the link to the Patriot. And while you're there join our facebook group welcome to another episode on a pat down. We're talking about everything gary going. Join US and get custom. Fuck out believe. Do not take anything Gary literally because most of the time I literally mean everything I say. She's not dead racist now racist at all because I can't be a reverse racist you're black. I'm black shares of all. This is sociological thought gear. I'm not my white books. 'cause YOU GUYS. I MISS THE FUCK UP. Is Pat Calls Racist Halfway through? You're GONNA love it. Yes do I need heat? You life recorded my fucking podcast. We'll be right back. Stay tuned after the Buzek. You better into this. Show spitting real fast. Got Play politics on real own spin on. Thank you wait. Signed up funds. Full Alfano took huge sweet hug had. Actually what have you guys booing? Quarantine me personally. I've been paying my twenty six hundred square foot basement life terrible. You won't me at five o'clock I feel you. Were yelling about SCONCES SCUTTS godless sky. I don't know what is about scutts in the morning covers for a year. What a case brought my fucking God and I woke up to the F. Five in the morning and brought up in the united literally had to go out and buy new lies so in paint the she was she was going. I was GONNA use my old life because they were fucking find design. I'm doing now but for literally three weeks. I literally have been painting the basement. I mean because okay what happened was I am a diy person. I like to do diy. I don't cut the would my husband do it but I come up without ideals and get it started but when I go downstairs and guaranteed stay in. It is told to fuck up. You agree everybody sleep downstairs for of all. I'm not GonNa let you put all the blame on me like I'm the only person downstairs. We was all downstairs. Doing we have to do to survive the hundred games. Want the walking dead. She's she's not wrong on before you got here. I was just like Oh my God because we had a stranger in the house now. So she'll yell at the kids in front of me but you poor remote company was like in front of Company Real Right Gary on poor Ramon was asleep on the floor and the trash hadn't been taken out. I mean she came in with a broom like it was nineteen thirteen. Get the trash. And he a Muffin. Your cow number round is GonNa take another cab driver mean I gotTa wash got laundry over here. It was way more than I folded on now. Went Back to pain so today I fucking was painted. Door in the fucking paint have been frozen. You're mad that people are helping you live life. Is that what I'm hearing? GotTa do not e- Servicing Keys. Do what I want you to know. I'm telling you the way my project came up. His I wasn't going to do anything on his team but she'll know why does she. Allah? You're not even capable of doing look. Nice just chill Sheila. You don't know what have you ever just three weeks never you Tom. Anyway get up. Get Out and get something done type of person. I went downstairs one day because I never know. He went out and looking for a problem if you found herself. Don't go for your boy phone unless you don't want to fly them you don't want to ask you. Did she faster. She Ain't WanNa see a nephew. Her bathroom rule was his. I mean the keys and holes everywhere I was like. Oh my fucking going lives animals so I just do everything. All Room is just come on. Let's get this shit out. Debt Day I went to Lowe's I'm paying this and I was only gonNA paint Gary around the room. Did Not painting a romance. Otis really look good as she doesn't need to do to bat through the. Oh Shit came to the bathroom at Hallway. Then the next thing I know I don't i. Don't tell the countertops down painted expert. I look at the booty Ho what you can do. All it did have like a covert night then spread in. The basement started gary on his room in the quickly. Spread to that kitchen which is a perfectly fine kids room now and looking kicked me. I wasn't in the room to begin with because my bet with broken and I wasn't in the bathroom either because that was broken so I was sleeping on a couch now. She's uplift at my couch and moved. I've got to sleep in Uganda's room. This is a twin bit. I'm two people fool person if it's a full bed I'm a full person. This girl her hand was on my titties. Her leg was on top of my lake. I will sway it. I never sweat so exercise. I don't like that excess hours over here in last night. Do you want me up at five in the morning. Talking about -Sconsin someone a shy. Don't like what be replaced sign. And that's we're son about three weeks. I don't even know if she was out there like that now. Welcome to the sunshine. Who Do that. I'm nasty looks really good now so said Fuck. I take my vitamin D and that makes up for. I'm not really mental. Tucson like that at the same son at a press star answer that hoping for years beaming down on our sleigh Manson. That's not racist so the sun goes. I'm not GonNa let you do that to the sun is racing makes the food grow. There's some Republican listening. Right now. See they would just want to take everything from us. Clued into son so my project is going really well. This weekend I get my my my countertops and I even let me tell you so. I guess so crazy with the remodel because I love DIY. She when I start watching Wash it I just tell here for little. I've been wearing the same pants for three weeks. It's it looks like it. Looks like you know I wash my hands and I put on the same thing everyday. The good part about this whole project to close. That's what absorbs shut the fuck up the good thing. The good part about this is literally not head on a bronze we quarantine never had on the Bra like I do. I wear brought to work it. Only that you take thing you'll never win now. Don't you think after she get to their own? The if after a show you know I never went this law without Bro and I'm not putting on a bra until she's been liberated yes until they opened the economy. She's a protest when they open the lobby. Oh cracker barrel. Put on a bra you can. You can trust him cracker barrel when I can go sit down the e because I go to. Lowe's everyday just ten is hanging don't you? So why? Why would you switch back to a Bra? If you feel better without. Yeah Liberated Day Fair enough. But I'm talking about anywhere else. Oh when I'm home during a day you know I won't wear a BRA but if when I go to work on fly sometimes I I wear bra is the first time I've gone months without a broad. Yes he got to know. Actually give you some buoyancy but yours are your knees. I don't know how much lifting give you for real so are like when you talk about me. Say Look off a great finish. You're saying she has knock-kneed Titi. I'm not knee NAVO. Floating might be true. So yeah no I like to shop but I love the clearance ray right right so I was just laughing. I can't buy a toaster till it's on the clearance right there ten dollars. We got like we got a airborne and near-death like expire. Because it was on. I'm like I don't think this is working. You GotTa Take Pets. Get One one gram of vitamin C. Just take it out so anyway. I go up to various furniture today right south. Oh I need to find something just for the go downstairs for the keys. Hope places the clearance rack. You show is very serious. Got The worst fucking furniture unless you buy. What's on the floor because what's on. The floor is always better than what they deliver. Yes 'cause they try to make it look decent on the flow. But that's not what you're GONNA get at. Your House ended up going on there today. You know that but you still go there. Today is really going to be broken so in a way I go there and see all these Christmas. She uncle ninety percent and as Oh my God I guess to head clear she but I said I gotta run them. To Lowe's I come bay and the white women bought out a clean she. I was so mad. I wanted to push keirin. Dale literally wanted to push them caring. What kind of Christmas it was. It was a fucking Christmas trees Lineup Christmas trees. And little ones they was decorative type of vase. Count those the fucking little big gas countless all one hundred twenty nine dollars ninety percent. Dad's the type of I liked to do and I was like you bitches but I got these bad as car how shells that was original one zero nine and I pay twenty dollars from I say. Welcome on his knees. I saw these broke ass chairs on your instagram Bro. Doing so bad that in nominee always on your side Miss Pat but no that was a good shares or on your instagram yet. L. My instagram story. And they're beautiful. He's shown me I blocked her. Did you really thought I woke up early there on your story. Yeah that's what it was. Shit say say these shares look like belt? Oreos are gorgeous. Looks like a cow abortion. Ugly not going to be using these four debasement on the basement the sit at the bar. We haven't a cowboy themed. You've gotTa Change One thing now. Shares are hideous standing there. Now he's he's he keeps looking at them. They literally looked like somebody's bill. Cookies and cream ice cream Watch when I finished with it. You know my husband thought. My husband thought. It was hideous when I started the basement. Look at it now. Do love abused warmest pets or miss. I am a good provider provider. Thank you use the right. So how much more do you have to do three weeks? And now we three weeks in the kitchen the doors are going to go back up in the kitchen. The granted. It's common wisdom Thursday this week and then I have to paint the trim. So you know I'm not I'm forty something years. Oh I just can't bend over all the way around twenty houses coffee so I have this thing that went to some outdoor furniture. So I literally Leone and I- sly on a flow car mechanic. Because she up. She can't get back down so you can only get up and down town. Goes to the bathroom. God if you had to poop get up to be so Leone flat and I just drag myself like a dog with no legs and I paint all the trim and I do all the floor touchup and it is so pretty. That's what I do. I applaud you. You you're a hard worker. You're innovator you sound and my next project is I'm thinking about me and my husband start. Is We give them going to build an entertainment center? Because I got an idea or your idea ideal so I got a call and the guy was like the guy who was here early. He said four thousand dollars Nigga. No I'm not giving you know four thousand now Nigga. Now that's not what I'm GONNA do. How figures entertainments in it It was the size of a whole like much entertainment. You have. She's she's missing a movie theater for desk is it that no or at least for the big TV and a liberal Patty Gunda. And I really. I really loved him and I miss him dearly coming. So we're going to Israel simple heavily. Q. Is Really Simple. And so how big is the? Tv is already down. It's like well. We got a fifty s down there. Oh well we're doing two different sizes but okay. It's fifty six some already down for the keys so soundsystem now need out Edema Tarantino to lobby foaming. So what are you putting on his entertainment center. Then well pictures and stuff. We're going to build it. I'm GONNA make Ancestral Altar plus No matter what they cheat number one another bunch of fucking ancestors. We don't really talk to say you know you are one of her ancestors right. Technically talking about came before me. You Dope wasn't for you. She wouldn't be here so kind of how lineage works now. They'll try to explain. No family trees. She barely wash. She'd understand. So you're doing entertainment center you've already got the TV now. Yeah about a set. Gary you really need to get you them down there. I told you WANNA put them what they downstairs. Stairs it putting in the Patriots. How about we take a break. We're gonNA take a break. Let me ask you something other than his buyers at keeping US ALL ON TEEN AND MAKING US LOSE DOWN. My is there. Something interfere with John is preventing you from achieving your goals. Berryhill asset your knees match you with your own license professional therapist you can start communicating with somebody within twenty four hours baby and let me just say this is not a crisis line is not self hill is a professional counseling. Done own life so as nobody down business when you talk to. There's a broad range of experts available which may not be available in many areas the services available for clients worldwide. No matter where you at you can pick up the phone call better health and you can have your own professional therapist. You can log into your account anytime instead of Mrs to your counselor anytime. You can timely in thoughtful response. Plus you carry schedule a weekly videos or your weeklies phone section. So you don't have to sit an uncomfortable. Wayne area. The always like the traditional therapies office that I have is committed to facilitate great. They are -peutic matches so they make it easy and free to change council if needed. It is way more affordable tradition office counselor and financial aid is available. Better help wants you to start living a happier life to date. Yes why you incorporating better health want you to live a better life two day visit. Bt E. A GOP DOT com slash Dez better health in June. The eight hundred thousand people talking about changes of their Milton health with the hippo his peers professional special offer for my podcast for the pack narrowly right now the mind listeners. Get Ten percent off your first month. A better dot com slash is B. D. R. A. GOP DOT COM slash p. A. T. A. You get ten percent start changing your life today and get Better Hill with the pat down. Podcast you can thank me later. Please don't start that bullshit because I am a my fucking park case about craft and it's a craft cast some wonder these kids hate me when they see me? I get yelled at no. This is how it always was like I. Even even Santa Claus showed up. They were going to yelled it less entertainment so we bank. So that's my project and I fucking Allah. I can't I don't like to use big politics. Muzzle really never. Show them. Because if I won't eat some cut here cut it but usually come up with the ideal because I think I'm cheat definitely. Don't want to buy a toaster until it's unclear right dollars. Dion has five of them. You spend more money on fast food than you got. Spent on a toaster you got. Who is you or or Garrett? Oh really yes because pobably cheap on things that are like me. She'll be cheap things that actually require you to spend money on. It's the opposite when it comes to something important he'll spend money. No you won't E- quite toothpastes. But he'll get you high quality. Anything else only name-brand tissue. Scat everything else Walmart brain. I'm never seen about. How the fuck do you eat? Walmart. Doritos or Yo- fake as we ain't gonNA disparage twist and shout like also twisted kids. Go crazy plates shot like that. Don't do I don't know why that's so funny. I know I know just so funny. Shout Sam's Club Brann. Don't play my dad used by that for the life of us. We cannot figure nobody ate this shit my dad by boom cereal clown on it. Yeah it's disgusting ship good. Nobody eats this. Nobody we four boxes in the God. Damn pantry stop buying this bullshit. Nobody eats it good cereal maker. You don't even eat. It is better than no name cornflakes. And then we wouldn't have milk so we put water on our with sugar and when his don't trust your cooking 'cause you eat anything I but we didn't buy milk so she will literally go into like the Pantries the Rangers and get serious and I'm like. Why are you against Syria? We don't fuck in a meal and we try that like one time in my mind or sales say. Ua Debt Poor reason just use water just started using Water House zero three late that poor. We started using H. Assyria water mega. No I'm like sold tall around drink. Milk use water is water and cereal is the most disgusting thing I can think of. Y'All stay pregnant. You had to pop out Titi See. You Ain't trying to solve your own problems. I'm not eating no titty milk. Cereal get the fuck out of kids. Michelle tea milk favorite cereal for children. Thank you good iron. Their water in this area is such a bad. Like if you're going to do the powdered milk then you have to make that water so why not just. It just didn't taste good so we you can't tell me. Water in cereal tastes any worse. There's four kids in the corner. I don't remember I just remember. That's how you know Syria and we didn't eat a lot of cereal because my momma didn't spin her food stamps. Momma cooked every fucking day. Well Monday through Thursday. Know on the weekend you probably fan for yourself and so on. Sunday you will get a Sunday. Not We will go to the church and we're in a skiing but we you know was she would cook like Butterbean I. I don't like beans now like I can't eat a lot like my brother used to love butter beans beans a sometime. We'll have nothing to back out of the BUTTERBEAN. Because that's what she cooked him and he would get so fucking cited now tells you the story. He gets so excited we'd get bringing with hit a split. He was dancing. He will pour shit on a catch up on them and so I can't eat butter beings. I don't fucking know border being Momma Cook every fucking day and I remember. She's a cooking. We like our peak knicks. Pigtails pigtails detail from the P just eons face when you said picnic so out of the way poor out of the way the extra mile to be bored tales night. Abs- The work to go find pig don't because in the South Everywhere. I guess up north is different. What store where you don't know where to fuck because is like the farmers market downtown by Greg Memorial Hospital. That's why she got her chicken as about a pale where she got her. Chicken asked by the path. You laughing you speak. They serve chicken asked by the peace. Nick Ago Fat Ass. We're GONNA cut this bitch you only supposed to use those make broth out of. Nobody's actually supposed to eat. It doesn't only get sold to make broth and stuff but you. There wasn't like a grocery store or like a down yet regardless store now one dollar general back Dan Piggly-wiggly we will go to the farmers market piggly-wiggly Allow List Grocery stores. You know this is before the big store before Walmart was no walmart bag. I mean when we were kids. I remember Derek. I'm in my father taking me to shop. In one time and We add to allow distorted. Love meow so he took me out if I will tell you this story where he took me to sunshine which is equally to the dollar store now shoes bombing jelly shoes in the Maria shorts and he spent two dollars and gave them into two different bags and I felt like I had been shopping house. He loves me. He took me shopping. So you would go. You don't play like that. Kroger was always around. But you know poor. People are low. Income people went more to light or Wakefield and shit like that. I never went. I trying to think like my mom would go to cubs actually bounce around. She would never go to the same grocery store. If you didn't go to KKOB's unless you have some money some food stamps and my mom was person where she made her food. Stamp stretch for kids like and lease for twenty four days so it doesn't go to go sure every week now we got food sandals and we'd have a so we walked yeah we won't who stole the. Buggy imparted in your. That was one of our chores like Friday. You know us go have to take out a groceries out the car like that. Will Your Mom and dad had joe knowing their own at their Mama Foods. You know you're GONNA take out a try to call and my mom just by. I was just telling somebody I was talking to you. Mom just didn't back in those days when you got welfare and food stamp you could buy. Cd's yeah you can't and people don't do it anymore. You could take your welfare food. Stanton take your food and you can literally buy sees with the Food Stem. Mama will buy. Cd's and plant the mother fuckers because she had a guard so you will look back glad to MPC. Twelve hairs cabbages she. I know this story time. When it didn't rain will make put out nails in a tree because she if you put nails in a tree it was going to rain and issues a blaming on you doing it right. You putting nails at a tree right. It ain't rain. I'm like bits and nail tree. It was so many nails and the tree to fucking die. What did your mom? How did your mom make money? Where say okay? Listen it is so you gotta look at it like this. She used Mafa right though. You gotta look at it like this. Mom was born in Nineteen forty nine her first child when she was thirteen. So twelve or thirteen by man like Ming uneducated into Gadoe. When I tell you Nev- now Abby fucking when I be Reno I don't know some thank God. I got educated. Mom was plumb dumb. She can re nothing on a male but her fucking nine literally. We'll be the setting out really young trying to translate for this lady when I tell you she she. She say she dropped out of school in his sixth grade. she's born in nineteen backing. Knows you gotTA REMEMBER. The Times that she was coming up right. She had those kids really young. She she was in and out obese relationship a whole fucking light so and I saw like hated her because Bush would of the thing that happened to me but then I had to realize she she owns you. She only had me when she was when she had been handed right so what she was like. I never met anybody as dumb as mom. No because she was smart she she might not be able to read or whatever but she was smart because she planted fruit and vegetables. You try to get herself the best deal. She was smart and other ways. Yeah I don't quite litter like in her situation illiterate. Let's see what she I I say his mom and never had a job. I can never minimum. We'll have an agenda and let me say one of the reason why guys because we lived in some housing project and the security guard yet defying hostels housing project and. I told you this before. And she hit her back up against the wall of some kind of way and he fucked her spinal so that was one reason. Why always so she couldn't she was. She was an have disabled veteran. See look talking about. Serve your community. Think about that but what she dumb like or was she just like when you say. She couldn't read illiterate. I Don skiles like me. She's just she's just couldn't read the newspapers and stuff like that like when she got that lawsuit for The security guard her. They put us on the project. The lawyer literally took Armani educated. There's a huge difference between being incapable of learning versus. Just not knowing what you need to learn. Yeah so would day five keys and she didn't know ANYTHING ABOUT SCHOOL. She couldn't happen but when she was when she wasn't drunk. I can say is we always had a place to stay. We got evicted a lot. But we move. We got INVICTA together. She always you can't give victims part. What you four years petition. Now you stay here you know gotta go. I'm sorry this stuff you there. That's ridiculous. She can't been family together. Not Part we always knew houses. We never let an apartment but we we. We lived in a place called the bluffs. Use The documentary on guy. He Herron heroin really bad. We moved out but We just mood around and enable literally getting Vita from one house will move into another house. I remember I told you. We moved into place that she mama had you eat. The lights are gays so a lot of time we'd had gays so we always bought our water take Obama Anyway. Ball your water filling up there to war and another Nigga jumping your high. You would think you locked the bathroom door to sell you. Stand no hot plate heat up your next part and you have four brother going there dirty bud vogel. So as I grew up I grew up. We never like had we always lived in. Like maybe one or two bedroom out to one or two bedroom house. 'cause that's what it was back in those days like the house we had with a fireplace. Netted I look back at the house. I don't know what a room was because I remember living in or do play. Who was considered a one bedroom but the kitchen was so big like my kitchen. She hallway sheet up to make a room out of half of the kitchen and in a daytime. You had to take the sheet now so I'm going to be the whole kitchen. I mean this is how we grew up roaches and being with. Don't really know you poor when you coming up until somebody say you poor right so you happen to watch TV and say what the fuck is going on over there. Nigga got me Hambrecht. Hits you hard when you find out. How are you are it? Did it really did hit me really I. I used to get ice get really may like I was like. Why would she get all these food? And feed fetus chicken as question. We used to go to the crew. I don't know we machi. After the market closed we were digging a trash candidate food out because they will throw away. You know Brie and it'll be banned. It might be expire on a carriage. Might Be Brown one side. She cut it off. And the other part that's Goo- so back theory does not travel. Yeah restaurants still do that. I don't know why they do. So you know I grew up. I think that's why I get so mad like Adele my keys because I mean you look at my keys. They some bitches. What key came out? A grim hub can be is door. Data's Hoddinott she line she'd making up stories. Whatever and so you look at my keys and then they like when I said I wouldn't outselling the basement. I would have died to live in a house like this when I was little. Y- you're mad at them for the life we live you you get. You worked hard to give him a life. You've never had going to be mad. I just tap your furniture unity. They don't they take advantage sheet and they just. Did you ever tear up any furniture? Did your mom hat stain. Ham Book share. What kind of paying attention? What kind of furniture and stuff the driving the house? We always got out front. She wouldn't have nate when the next person got put out. So you wait on somebody. Viga you run over and grab it. She didn't put it in a recipe. Gala just weighed behind the corner. Got The notice on the door hours. We get everything you know. Who's to one day? We will get out as she. I remember the Self. I lane only say my life when I told Johnny store. The roads got overwhelming rob. The Pizza Bath no rob. Nobody will know well. I lived at was do not deliver pizza today. What it was when. When did you find the cash to order pizza? Dion fucking cast or are we buying chicken asked by the LB's I she didn't like out taking or takeout and as you like twenty eight or something like that. No I will not start. When I became a drug deal I wanted his mall in Atlanta. Greenbriar Mall. I was shopping and I was like look steps fucking cheek feed La what the Fuck is and heavens opened. The PRO games hearted on their own. Sounds terrible basketball out here making chicken? Y'All knows we start out with chicken la so my friend. I was whipped. Let's get some Nice. She's she's little my eat. That but in Bouzaiane greenbrier were black. People shot right but is like it was more like the upper class black people back when I was selling my. I don't eat shit. Were boozers Nichols and everybody as some minor. She likes to go to Church SAZANAMI issue. He'll I dylan minor. We're going to the CLUB NICK. You. I didn't even know how to say what about an order. You want a chicken sandwich. I guess what you gotTa Drive. Well we got lemonade. We make us give it to me. I try to say what the fuck is did. I Know I love I. That's it to how you fuck you got turned out by Chick-fil-a new 'cause we shop we shop. Before we went to the comedy club we went out to the clubs. And I never data stowing Greenbriar greenbrier still so as you. So all the riding boots. I don't job riding boobs. That's black all everybody was fucking old. Means about him riding boost CARAMBA watch rambles like one hundred. Eighty thousand eight is right. And it's booze that you see the horizontal black people turn them fashions so they tied up in his car riding boots. But you really couldn't afford it. Because they were like unfitted. Our tiny came in a cream and brown path and his place in mall called Horn. Shoe store you sell them near Gob of light may right. And the man who used to take my. He'd liked me all he was the most ugly thing ever seen in my life and he taught me the Taco Bell. One day. He was like what you want. I'm like no no Damn Taco base. We'll get a supreme fuck is the supreme. That's when I discovered sour cream only covers were. She's the Columbus Green. Why she's socities pretty good talk just killed by Taco Bell today and so I wanted to arrive. Isao offering and so. He bought me Rodham boot as he want him. Says I gotTa do did you solo? Because it is putting. Is Money's really nice by my babe area optic like Fi team keough God as low as you really don't want to. I don't want to hit you but I make sour cream. Oh my gosh look look legit. Won't we finally it took seventy episodes but we finally found the band that would exploit you. It's really it's up to re by a wrong. He would re my light meter wrong and he always gave me money and he's a when you were you attracted to me. Let me know neglect. Stop turning these lights and find. Oh he taught me right lobster he would take me out to eat and he would just so ugly to me. He was Qassim now. I hope they day he would talk kind of fat. What J. Recur own dare curl on his show. I'm picturing in Pinky from Friday picture. You know the guy from Come to America well. It wasn't like Chow. Watching China Fan in the brick. James is there any way that this guy came to your house and didn't know you were fifteen though like that guy knew then you had to be put into a lot of people our big lobby. I never talked like key because survive they. Kiki is so soon our it had a baby. Then so my mom used to always say you day and I'm like this day you like you went to school with it. 'cause you know my answer was true. He likes she's not. That's a good Masilela. Will you can have so. He will learn to come over and bring Ashley Stop but I just. I was not attracted to that. He never really forced me. We would come by. He will marry combined. Take me out to eat and I knew that he was too good to be true. Yeah I think he was married. I think he was mayor. I think he told me he was mayor. Well like He will put me in Georgia power truck and take me up to talk. I'm glad he wasn't a child. Rapist beat his as their self. You good man and he's gotTa lash onto the few that they're there but he was a nice guy. He was a nice guy. He bought me riding booths and fucking forum. He bought me to go through. The blue was just caged our cream. This guy's rent lofton forgot about that as you had a baby biscuit listened to. I love listening back to these. Because there's a piece of miss pat that's innocent and like you always starts off you know it's going to be that child like Miss Pat when she starts story stops because there's a and then you just like I don't know you tell these stories. It's not sad like your reminiscent in a way. That's like he was nice guy. He's a nice way really wasn't like man every ninety he crossed. My mind is a little old man. I don't even know his name. I always call them the light man. I met him chicken and he was gonNA cut my lights out and I was like. I really don't have any say well but you did have right. I have no money. I wasn't even drug tool I I I had actually got on welfare and moved into my own place and thought I could pay my rent and all. He was giving me to thirty five dollars so my mom ended up moving in with meat. Air Helping me paid him. It was a two bedroom then out today What does your sister live? She was living out to where her baby and and my brother was there. My brothers one of my brother. I can hardly remember my own brother Bo. He was always either in jail or go. It's like Bo was so young. He probably was sixteen years old and moved in with a twenty year. Old Lady who already hit like five keys the he ended up having two babies buyer. She's though his wife now no she did the. I'll be talking to my nieces and nephews on instagram. And so when he had those keys they need another baby another girl and then he just Kinda disappeared. He likes he will come. We come back to the house and he probably was seventeen and I. I don't know why this image of him sticks in my head but back in the day the Omni if you from Atlanta you know what I'm talking about which is a fucking was a Georgia Dome Nasa Mercedes Benz Stadium. You could literally swim you. I mean that's all you can ice skate inside of there. And he took me ice skate. My brother Ice Skate has asl. And that's all I remember him. Taking me is gain air ninety and he bought me a burger and I remember him to see the most inappropriate she ever purple rain. He took me to see Becca no Francis Crazy purple rain but he took me to see Parang at the reactor theater this. How far is this the early eighties and so he was like everything to me and then he just disappeared. So how does this work in Bandon issues? Let's unpack now. I mean you know like ee. Turn in droves and A. He's my oldest brother. He's he's really by racial and he just he turned into turned into somebody that I didn't know which he would. He would imitate the police he will he will take. Is that the right. We're active you to yeah. I don't think that they were laughing. At the imitate the word imitate. They were laughing at him imitating. He will walk up on people. Let me search any stealing wireless pockets playing like the police and the police. Yes fucking Kisha. Join the academy. He was doing all kinds of shit like he will use my step daddy name and he got on drugs and then when when I when I get what your daddy and we moved in our place. He came over and stole his. Watch one time and I'm like I'm trying to fucking family with he kneels. I'm sick. They may pop stole gearing necklace. Us I'm sick of these fucking nigger family members. I got it so you know we all just went on separate ways. My brother separate separately Barbara the Tony. I I'm podcasting my brother Tony. Is He some wrong him? That you know slow. Yeah he'll slow. He came over to the House one time. He planned Pope Pool with my husband and he said you know Whitney Uesugi her. Don't for me as you remember Whitney him bobby getting they don't for me as a Tony. Shut the fuck up. You don't know. But that's I go off. Ep fantasized like he famously. She remember your brother one time because I think you said like he had HIV. And I'll do your girlfriend. And she was he was like that's none of her business. Also Dan No. He said the look at Gary on his so smart even at ten. She's like that doesn't make any sense not my brother do have HIV. I don't know why you brought us auto but that was like the first so yeah. Hov away got it from people. Don't know where they got it from e at a girl for say do your girlfriend now you got HIV. He said bad. She said what he's A. Don't you know I got this shit? She's saying what she was like she. I'll in my head. I remember so vividly. I was like she got be like twenty six. She was young with three and she was jaime young but he's no knew. She knew she knew he added. He told me he called it. Don't you know I got that? She and she said Yeah. I know you got there. She what Kinda is a loved he would know about last. I heard his girlfriend would beat him up at a train station because he ain't tell these never mind. I don't even have anything to say what. Who goes the train station? Don't go there. I am brother. Jeff I my. That's that's my me me and my younger brother. Oh much closer but that brother. I don't know he just crazy now if I give him a phone number you literally call me ten times as to why you can call me yet. Have Shit Talk to you about. Sounds like me when you saw. I don't have I have literally been doing for way. Always about the do the other day Windy the phone yelling shot the Falko. This is a kick it okay. She goes I eaten Chesler food. Yes you know because you know she's going to be so you can hear her. Fuck here meet you know. I can take from space because you only chew them from front teeth are well. GotTa Have My. I like eating and talking on the phone and you just soak says when I do in the cover to my whole Europe sucks shit out of I okay. It's the CAN'T DO I. It drives me. It's like nails on a chalkboard. He probably use emails. If I hear anybody to and it drives me insane your small ears. It's your small ears deal. Almost shut like geared because then I grew out of. I don't know maybe maybe because you got baby ears but I grew out of it is like your mother fuckers in the group. The same problem to you'll be disrespect ears hospital. See why US grow. My mom has small ears a regular here. I've never seen Simpson's ears. Same is mind. Nick COME AS I. E she'll issue is bigger than your poor. Your hair bed. She's like your issue. You got your he kind of six zero six year old here. I got thirty five year. Old Big go go away. I've never noticed. No I've never been able to look at. What am I supposed to hold my breath and blow? I make my ears. Big Stop staring. You gotta get like an ear. Large repair erection surgers rather have small ears in them. Giant ass keep on growing as a white mate years a job heaven. Hey My ears my normal you gonNA have hair growing out of him every fire you Scotto. You had grown. I'm never gonNA have hair growing. No no no. You're not you would not. I can't believe you never you. Don't pay attention. She doesn't why. Pb keeled looking at my ears. I look at Dion is and when he talks sometimes his mouth. But that's it do you. Do you count all the exits and how many people are in a room. Because I do all the time exit account and everybody in the room. I even do it in movie theaters. I hate when people short light because they'd be messing up cow. I'm like so by just went outside. Goes to the bathroom and it is perfect combination. I can't really see him. So this the same amount of people love my. I don't do the count like that but I have spatial awareness of like all right if one of these people as white and crazy than than I know how to get out of. My Daddy always taught me he's account. Don't sit my back to the entrance of a Rami either. I don't like people are behind me like the kids are like. Oh I know I can't be behind. You only stands to the right of you. I cannot stand to let definitely. Don't make me hovering over me either. I'm sitting down and you're like get away from. Why are you still on that? Drives me insane. I always sit with my back to a wall or I. I don't like to feel exposed. I don't like you know I want to restaurant like that. Either you walk into a shoot me in the back of head. Lincoln Frederick assassinated conversation last story. When I was ten years. This makes sense not me. They did that man. Dirty dirty wooden teeth George Washington. He only he didn't have wouldn. T theat slave teeth but they made it cute for the books which means late. He took teeth from his slaves. Your teeth and he put them in his mouth and he had like a whole like mouthpiece made out of slave teeth. It was not would. He's this lady yes. Mommy yanked him out he pretty teeth rider. Go Okay Baby. How would they think they get brittle and die though? If you're taking teeth out of people like don't they have to be plugged in or something? I don't know I F- I don't know but he would re up on the teeth like every five years. Yeah like this one group of slay people. They had some good teams so he'd be like him. I'm platinum a girl. When she gets older he he looked at his one slave families. This where did you read this book a long time ago? I've been googling I've been Mount Vernon there were wooden teeth but like there were like teeth teeth in the. Yeah I went to Mount Vernon to lower like fuck this entire place. I hope it burns down on these fucking people walking around this guy. Damned slave plantation with fucking smiles on their faces. Like this is a cool place. Isn't it cool that the president lived like fuck this place? He was an asshole city. Uab y'all walking around here like this was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Fuck George Washington. Yeah Maggie Pieces. I was I was like I do not want to go to this but I was. One of those tours. Like Bernie is where he lives. No but is that like in Washington. It's Kinda outside yet. Man had this is worse lays live. I don't WanNa be here. This is a cool happy about this home. Do you screw this entire plantation. I hope all of it catches on. Why would not feel bad off it? All to the ground like they still had they still had the structures and black people working in and that was his house whereas the locate. He's saying Washington. It's a field trip did you. Did you not go on the seventh grade field trip to? Did you go on like a school field trip now I me. Oh yeah sixth grade. They always took us to DC. I didn't WanNa do that. I said Oh four to go. I wanted to go. But we couldn't afford to overnight in a room with white people. I was like no we go bring your racism on his podcast. I'm not being racist overnight now now. Christopher you went to the same school I went to where they white. You guys increase the black population of this town. By like fifty eighty percents percent of it was being gear and it was all new paired at one of them girls. I did not like any. Don't you just say girl why you guys as Kinko white why you gotta be why I mean why you gotTa Be White? I don't be wanting to be white. Why you gotta put a race in just that you didn't like the dirty Negros to you know I'm not I didn't go to school. No negroes I went to school it whites so you don't have to say why they were white but you don't have to say the script of like saying tall. Why would you say you? You didn't want to be in the room with holes you don't WanNa be in a good. I didn't want to be in there because they were white racist of thank. You know I don't want to because they're already always trying to touch my hair. I was trying to explain it to them. I wasn't trying to explain lotion. That doesn't have anything to do with race. Okay people curious people curry's like I'm curious. I Lis Lis. We the type of white would literally don't find the son so I don't I don't maybe it gets the son just like I am so you can say whites. Don't they say look. You look at Exit Cookie People's why. Why are we playing these games? We tip tack towing Gary on what I'm saying to you what I'm saying to you is. You can not say you didn't want to go with because they were white. How about because they're person wants she on it? She was a bitch and was A. I take those things better than other than race. Because I don't want you to say you don't like nobody for the color of their skin. 'cause you myemma right will you might marry a white man. Well I bet you. I won't because he white you might be racist daughter. Madison also reverse racism. But you tried it today. Know what she saw anyway because Marriages Archaic Institution Press. You go career you go has. Yeah maybe you into you probably understand what Gary Understanding as for I understand both sides. She didn't like them because of their white culture and not knowing shit about black people that bother her. I get acking saint. But you can't say you don't like somebody because they're white. Let me just save. You brought up the Bonnet. I have no idea why you wear that. And I've been curious who asks Negro. Who Am I going to ask? Oh that's why I'm asking. That's part of it. If it keeps Greece out the pillowcase. Okay what do we wear? Bunny gear around. Why didn't you wear? You don't even wear bonnets? It protects your hair at night. Yeah but that's one of those things where it's like people should learn black culture but if you're going to be hostile when they ask I get but I understand where you're saying like I just don't want to about engine. Light exist at think. She did not like the people they she went to school with. And that's why she feel the way she do about about people any how to me now about. Because I'll play dead people at my schoolwork garbage. Okay that's what I'm saying and I get along with almost everybody else but let me ask you this. Do you feel like all white. People like the people that he was raised. We are actress. Who are people around here? Yeah because all went to the same school as me so I'm GONNA say yeah. I'll why people around here Chris June we talking about Chris. I don't really. Chris doesn't do anything to me she like. I don't feel no way toward Chris. Like just blank. Yes she literally does not care about my existence like there's no hatred there's no white people just don't care. I don't put don't put them back or the front of my mind they just exist and then I exist. I don't think about a person like if I do. This will wipers and get mad. Site is I. Don't think about it either. But I want you to realize that we're all people and I don't want you to judge people by the color of their skis. All I don't want you to judge white people about Shit Happel fifty one hundred years of slavery or anything like no no no. I'm bringing up and why can't I went to school with garbage on the neighbor? Why but I don't want you to say you don't care to see them become better than what they are. Were you say we mean like so? You mean Roth Individual Right. Yeah we should go through growth okay so in order for. I'm not about to help you grow. That's what I'm saying. So that's how you want them to grow but you're not going to help them to grow. So how how can you expect them to ever grow? Because if you're only if you're the only black person that they're going to come in contact with because there was only two of y'all right yeah so class year there's you and Garett no. He was in my class over thirty Niro. Shell Weena me a lot more people. I graduated in. Oh two from plainfield and I bet you out of the thirteen hundred kids. There may have been one or two mix kids. I don't know if I there are a lot of Muslims but no What she makes the point. The point I'm trying to make is is is is both sides. You don't WanNA spend your time. Educating people who are completely uneducated you don't want to start at the bottom because you've been living at your whole life at the same time. They're the whites looking at you as why are you so hostile because bro no no why do I only because people are afraid to ask questions. Because they don't want to make you feel like you need to exploit they don't WanNa be the reason for you to be upset. Their ignorance for lack of a better term for them to explore their ignorance. They need to ask questions. Yeah but if when they ask any question we with got them. I don't WanNa be the sneaker that has to explain everything that you all the time like. I don't get better down. Should just shut them down but it keeps them from being able to grow. And that's something that I had to learn how to deal with as a black dude who won at white people to understand what it is like why people need to understand why we're angry and we need to better do a better job of not being so angry to where we shut them down. Because I think you guys could say at the beginning of this podcast. It's like I didn't know how to talk about any of this and I wasn't really like I was afraid to because my reaction had always been if I tried to to ask questions. There was an anger and I'm just like I didn't do anything. I'm just trying to ask like. Yeah I'm never like if you ask me a question isn't like I'm going to be angry about it. I'M GONNA. Here's your question. I just I WANNA be a first thing. I'm not like episode of black first thing I'm GonNa do is try to educate you don't don't care to do that because it's like a boy this weekend he he. He direct message me. He was like. Why don't you like it or why people re tweet work and I just gave him a list while he was like okay? Thank you cool. I'm not hostile to people I don't want to. I don't want to answer the question first place with an answer the question. I'm going to answer if I feel like in the mood to answer questions. I think you're going to be receptive to answer. I'll give you an answer but I'm not gonNA argue with somebody who or talk to somebody who I know not going to be recept to the answer is good wasting my breath. Very fat only got so much breath to list. I'm not going to waste my breath on you if you not about to take anything. I'm about to say the very Gary Ana has always been like I feel your unapproachable. Thank you that the air I want everybody to. And you're very into your world and you're not looking to if you if you wanted to get beyond your world you'd get beyond world you take people you treat people the way that they treat you like. You're nice to meet because I'm nice to you. We don't have long in depth conversations because I can tell you don't want that you know like you're not looking for a new friend and I don't. I don't take offence at that like it's I think you're very different than ms pat in that respect. Yeah because I'm a very private very antisocial person. To begin with you just happened to be my home in. A Nice thing to do is talk to people but me. I don't try to start a conversation with people because I'm very much like I don't WanNa waste your time and I want you to my time. I'M JUST GONNA. I'm just be nice. I'm going to kind to you and that's I don't want you to. I don't want you to people are because they have a different skin color. I mean Mama about to be looking at me. I'M ABOUT TO BE RACIST. I have white friends Have you had any white person I went to school with? They'll say I love you popular at this class town and I want you do use white as a pejorative term. You do use it as a term to put people down. I don't take offence to it because but I do see her point of view that like at what point do you allow yourself to grow a little bit and be more respectful? Because I wouldn't dare like be used as a pejorative just because it's diminishing and it's putting somebody down and so if you want that same being called black black is not diminishing is what I but if I used it in the way of like. Oh that guy's just he's using a website adding WANNA be. I didn't go on. Because the blacks was in the world. You'd be racist. Era will be and you said the white and to me sitting here you know as a white. Tell me how you feel. It's of happened in our group where people are people are making fun of trump people and Conservatives and Republicans in the group in a way. That's very rude and if if somebody would have Chris gone with that white. Bushy ain't never rude to make fun of the president. Not they're not making fun of they're making fun of the people there like one person posted a meme of all. Republicans are clansman. That shit is that I left it up because I wanted to make the comment that it wasn't appreciated in our group because that is just because it is socially acceptable to put Republicans down or to use the term like White Center pejorative way. It doesn't mean that you should do it and I think that's what she's saying like I don't appreciate it when somebody gets in the group and I'm not a conservative and I'm not a trump supporter but don't come in our group and like put all those people down and call them racists because John Lewis people are racist like you can't have a dialogue with somebody if you're putting them down at the beginning natural wrong with people thinking different from you as the wrong. And that's why I don't understand why in the fuck was somebody to be mad at somebody for dissent a different religion for somebody thinking something different. I'm curious to our conversation with people. There's different from me you see. Here's here's the hypocrisy of statement. This country wasn't designed for what they say it was. That's true so why people tell you you know we're all have the freedom and liberty to express ourselves and I know we don't we don't and you know and I'm hoping when you listen to this podcast you you begin to realize that that shit that went on at those state capita this wipe people with guns and marching screaming for the mayor. If black people would have did they shot every fucking body so debt you know down and would never gonna be equal liberty for all is liberty literally for White People White American. Yeah they get to do shit. Black people can't do still fighting to do. So you have to you know when you thinking about shit like that. You have to be aware that we're not equal and I give you an example. He just popped in my head coach like I said I like to buy sheet off marketplace and I liked to buy sheet right clean ship so a Golden I buy some furniture formulas white lady who live in Karma which is really rich neighborhood here. I think you're limited his county and richest county in Indiana. So I pull up these. I know who you are. And I'm like okay. Fuck and so. She gave me a really good deal on what I was buying. And I'll of confessional my truck so I say okay. I'M GONNA send my son Bay so literally she said Oh. Just tell him to hit this button on the garage door and come on in my garage and I say man. You don't understand I say. Do you realize my son is black. Do you realize what you live at us? Ma'am do you realize that your neighbor will probably somebody shoot my son thinking he still something that I paid for and the lady literally started. Cross it so sorry. I didn't even think about that. Well you don't have to when you white America but I have to because I'm black America and we ain't equal and we're not the same and I won't give fuck how much you want to say we are we not so do. WanNa to push back on the protests because when blackout when Ferguson happened that for me was the moment when I started pay attention because I wasn't one of the people that was like Oh fuck black. Lives matter like all right. Something significant is happening here. What's going on? What am I not getting because clearly? Something's not happening. And that's when I started to pay attention to police shootings and just racial injustice in general. I don't feel like the opposite is true of what the reaction towards these protesters. There isn't the same level of trying to understand what they're talking about like wide you guys just dismiss them and say. I'm not willing to listen to what they're talking about because they're putting other people's lives in jeopardy who in the long run because they think it can with protesters are you talking about people up at the State House. That's what we're talking about because I don't think people lives are in jeopardy and we're trying to get them out jeopardy when you when you talk about black lives matter white p Peru's lives. They WANNA go outside. Why people are protesting are why people who are putting people's lives in jeopardy because they wanna go outside because they want they want. They want low pay workers to do what they want him to do which is a cut their hair and so they can go onto restaurants freedom to be comfortable. You're not comfortable right now. And they don't like that. For Abraham you make a white person uncomfortable you see the ugly side of this country anytime. A white person gets uncomfortable. Look good when the stock market crashes look at after Obama got elected. We got trump anytime you make people outside of their comfort zone. What they're used to. What's something different? They always revert back to that person. You see the State House yelling and screaming at police. You aren't allowed to tell me what I can kate to every single time. That's what this country has always been. Do you agree or disagree? George Washington Thomas. Jefferson told the King. You can't tell me what the fuck to do peering chief. That's all we are as a country. Is that screaming dude? You're not my dad. You can't tell me what to do. That's all we are that's always ever been. That's all we're ever going to be because anytime we tried to move past that the guns protests and comes out the ridiculousness just the pure stupidity of marching to stay house to scream. Open up a restaurant. It try to save your life then the lives the re the thing that a Republican senator came out said some people need to die so we can get back to making money how that was not a ridiculous when he's saying grandma's and GRANDPA's going to sacrifice for what how can any American set there and CD's and want to vote for and you can say all you want the best not the majority of this country but that is the evidence is clearly showing the opposite and you have all these democratic centers where all these democratic people the big cities. But what are those small town. People huge families they. They're all think the same way they're not public with it. You may not know who your cousin voted for. But he identifies that motherfucker. He identifies with that Republican. He identifies with that person at the State House. He might not be out there protesting but he's sitting in this house. Yes he's got he's got the right idea. I don't like being told what to do. And then when black people do it? It's like Colin Kaepernick. How dare he take a knee? It's the exact same thing. The exact same thing when a black person says this country Shit. People get mad when clincher. Who why people say this country ain't she a? You can't tell me what to do. He's a patriot. He's like that's and that's where I agree. The hypocrisy of it where the people who are at the State House which I agree or being complete morons like the. That's a good opportunity in my mind to say to those people. And that's something that I've been trying to say to Libertarians. That follow me. You have to understand that your anger right now. You have to understand that. Discomfort is how a lot of other people feel a good time all the time. Start a dialogue. And I think that if we're dismissive of people in because the realities I know the I know the people who organized the Indiana Statehouse Rally for instance mud the majority of those people that went. Those are the looney there. Alex Jones people there. They literally don't think it's real. You see the science from the thing. It's like the viruses fake but their anger is shared by a lot of people about certain things and it's a good time to say to those people who are idiots. Who aren't going to these things like. Hey think about these things. Think about maybe your own hypocrisy about these issues. Where can we find common ground and start to work together? We lose that ability to have that common ground when we just say fuck you. You're it's Y- like I just don't like dismissing people. I think that it's there's a lot of when I look at twitter from the left. The reaction towards these protesters is not. What are they angry about? Where's the common ground? It's let's make fun of these people which I just wonder why that happens. Explain it why so when a conservative tries to stop you from living your life whether you're Lgbtq or black they literally try to stop you from just being who. You are based off their religion and their morals. You're just trying to live your life and they're coming and telling you you're not like me. I don't like how you do it. It affects my money. And I'M GONNA STOP. You from doing that. And your response to is. You can't dismiss that person. Know my very first thought is fucked that guy because he's a piece of shit because all I'm trying to do is be alive and live my life. That's all I'm trying to do. And you're literally writing loss to make my life harder. Go Fuck Yourself. I have no sympathy for you because you started it. I was trying to live my life. That's all I'm trying to do. That's all we're all trying to do and you make it harder because I'm not like you and you can't respect our differences and then you have the nerve in the audacity to ask me to give you a chance when I just watch you fuck over my ancestors for how many years giving you a chance. You haven't earned it. You have done nothing. Aren't you stolen everything you've earned shit free Labor Herod all the money that that free labor earned and then you have the audacity to tell me to be nice to you? Go Fuck yourself so in your own words. The people that are protesting the government off their back. And you just said you want the government off your back you want the system off your back and you don't WanNa see off our best what you read that. I'm different from you but we can be okay. Blanket will have a problem with the government. We don't have a problem with them and we'll have a problem with rules. We don't we like this and I've told you this time when she breakout pandemic everybody crazy. Why people always cool and calm as a cucumber as they say we don't fuck about no pandemic because we we we always a fucking pandemic aways word about go is always on yes always be alive just NBA alive. I'm okay Qaeda stole fucking this. We always get something. We always worried about some you why I turn his racial but you can. We don't have the same worries. Yeah because can happen. Black people have been in recession since the seventies we've had twenty percent unemployment rates since forever. Our laws unemployment rate has been in the last ten years under Obama and then I guess under trump was talk about it but you know he ain't DNA. We've had twenty percent unemployment for years. And then the the rest of America got slight. What was the highest employment rate donor? Tom Tamper that was nothing. We were already broke. We were already broke and s and asked me what so panic of uncomfortable that pisses people off. It's like you guys get uncomfortable for three months. Trat Chubby this uncomfortable for thirty five years. Like I don't have the time or the patience or the energy or the care to feel sorry for you. I don't like you caused this problem because you didn't listen because you never listen and I don't mean you specific like what why America creates his own problems and then they get mad at everybody else for having to deal with the problem. They created all these Mexicans coming across the border to get our jobs. Well you created the Mexican you know United States went out and got to make some do sheet American ones for cheaper Mexican justice coming over here in nineteen. They're yakking on China. You ship them there. You ship them down. They bid shipping our jobs to China. They they bid. Mexicans has been coming to America. Take our jobs on welfare. You stopped reconstruction. You did even reconstruct nothing. You quit yet acquit. Every problem America has created aided. And you get mad at other people. GonNa blame it on. The black people play on a Mexican. The Gays Mark Gaga did itself at the end of the day period. All I'm saying is is. Why mean fucked up this country if you look at the evidence. Do you agrees that white men were in charge history of also but Abraham Lincoln was also a white man. I mean I just kind of blink. I don't know why black white people why People White America thing. We still have it by like he took first of all he gave us back. Rice. We were equal. We were supposed to have anyway just because we were alive. You got you got the right to not be a slave just because you are human but human right to be free and you're going to give us backs up. We were inherently given up. Stop so that's like if I say get up give me a while and then I give it back to you. That was I get that but my my point is giving. If you're gonna you gotta ask. What was his motivation for doing that? Only reason he did it was to keep the country together more time. He didn't give a fuck about us. Being Black Enslave. He gave zero shits about that. Now you're asking me as a black American to respect it. Why why would you do that? I don't even want the civil war. Black people are fighting for freedom. They should have already met. I don't think I should have had black. People should have to fight in just war if we fought in the revolutionary war him to begin with if that's what we should've been free revolutionary. Here's what I want people to understand why I get so upset is because we do not look at the lowest common denominator like you can feel however the fuck you WanNa feel but look at the evidence because evidence doesn't give a shit about your feelings if you don't like being called races than don't be racist actively fight against racism and you have to understand what the institution of racism has created. It has created the white comfort of being ignorant to all the shit that people are telling you. We're still dealing with and you have the nerve to say I don't think that's right and it's created with Zero Zero. Ever you know research. You don't investigate any of the problems we've say we've had want to say is not talking to Chris. He's talking to General. Yeah just the person who says. I don't understand racism. Well what have you done to understand races period king? What have you done because if you're expecting me understand racism? Yeah if you're expecting me to explain it to you then you're you're not fighting. I guess told you that I listen to your little black lives matter thing. Black glass metal. No I think there is a large segment of millennials. Are What is it? Sixty percent multicultural. I think multi-ethnic or yeah so there's a lot of likes games so I think the reality is that black unemployment. I have no idea. I'm just guessing here. Is that in general? People want to see a change in their impositions to make change happen. They want to see women. People of Color have more opportunities and understand that imbalances and want to fix it. I look at it and I go. There is a movement. There is a there is a desire from a majority of this country to make a change. Did you hear he just said Oh. Yeah Black. Unemployment you've already sub categorized me. I'm repeating back what she but what I'm saying is the system has already sub categorized me. They just call them American unemployment. I'm an American. I'm an American. I'm an American. I just so happen to be black. That's it I'm no different from you other than the fact that my skin color is different from yours. Chocolate the remote control. Yeah I got a bad. It's not bad. Not all three distributes wake. You should talk to your grandfather about that one. Yeah what I'm saying is is like you got to look at the reason why we separate things the way we do when we talk about women are we about. We're talking about white women. We talk about man. Who are we talking about? We're talking about that. Particular metric is sub. Line is white male or why that particular metric and metrics of that type are a system of measurement by the government to measure across broad spectrum as things that particular number of black unemployment has been cherry picked by Donald Trump for a very specific reason and it is to deflect from his his deep seated racism. Yeah and so. It's so I don't want people like and it's easy to look at that and go I shouldn't be categorized and you're right but there is also a broad spectrum of categorization just so we can go. What's changing in society? It's not a way to oppress people just because you say understand what what quote Unquote Society is for the longest time. I wasn't part of society at all at all. Whoa ow yeah win win. And maybe Wolf Wolf. That was not. I was not the three fifth nick. I'd say fifth. You got put in a ghetto. You lean fat back all your life. You've got one hundred dollars worth of foosteps. You were three V vase because you're fat. She's also the richest person I know. Many people you Tom. You're right yeah. I'm by with field. My point is we love each other. I do I love you. It say IRA snow him so much for your ability to listen. Thank you you at brought this shit you you learn how to get past the emotional block of what you're hearing does to you right and a lot of people for whatever reason can't do that they get emotional. The moment they start hearing pushback from what they're comfortable from and I applaud you. Ms Pat for creating that space for him to grow and his comfort. You too nigga cause us a little crazy too and people in general. They get uncomfortable when they don't they don't agree. They don't know why they don't agree. They don't have the words yeah. I think they don't understand so like when people push back to me when they don't understand like when you say like like if you like like we're wind is still year and you don't walk them house like wow. Y'All got rags on your heat. We would like to me while we got you buddy rank. I wouldn't have put it that way. I would have been more respectful. May I please inquire why you have such do rags on your head Chris? Chris do you think this is a no fucking fucking around Gary? Chris my not good jokes by race of good Joe. Racism is not that night. Yeah but I mean so you so today. You said something like well. I am curious. Why do you have on a bunny and we told you and you know like I think as a I learned a lot from white culture you know like I learned how they work in dealing with my dinners and dealing with Chris and people in general just from chose dealing with Chris? What she just light never lived until white neighborhood. I never this is my first one neighbor Evelyn. I learned a lot about white coaching. Like if if outages Meron through here I wouldn't know white bitches landing her fucking dry way out of your day you fucking with the lady tain in Tom fucking driveway tanning now when I rob on my neighbor I'm laggard getting that blackness and keep going. Yeah there's I think there's ignorance in general and people have to accept that they are ignorant but not all ignorance is negative like my ignorance of a bonnet is a neutral ignorance. It's not and my asking is not to to put anybody down. It's because I'm genuinely curious about something. I don't know or understand those question that we as Black America White America Mix America Mexico. We need to start talking ignorance that I think that is frustrating. Is when somebody knows I should have I ferguson or I look at these rallies and I should go. What's the deal here and you don't because fucking care fuck that classroom everybody. 'cause we got to end these bitch and the everybody who listening if you don't do shit go and Google Black Wall Street. This is the only documentary she ever seen. This is only okay. I nobody documentary now. Did we thank you period? Lack Queens Black King. He shouldn't but anyway watching that last model. Call himself kings and Queens and the kingdoms. Not Everybody Queen. You Ain't got how many people will be serving. If everybody was queen. I hate that Shit. Black King Black. Stop that we don't gotta go the. Ps Yes we we. We have too closely because so many people put you down keen. We know King. Don't drive calls with no ties but choose a keen on time. Also you keep talking. I'll let you go king. Don't drive with no side meal. All you got humanising. Y'All y'all English fucking. You didn't have a back seat what you're talking about most likely all of us in this room were slaves in Africa. And that's how he got pulled a boat to America but we don't act like we weren't something we weren't okay we're GONNA WE'RE GONNA prop ourselves up okay periods so killing king. He something he the it say it eight of the Duke. He's a court. Jester stands for entertainment monkey. I love every every see his podcast. Come literally told the first white man ever daddy loved White Man. Yes uniforms white man he was. He loved who was yellow to white friends that. I Love Chris. That's the core of his that once beyond and I have talked deanza democratic socialist. I'm an anarchist libertarian. And like confused. And when I talk. About what motivates our politics a motive. I'm up. I'll tease money. Why would she said what he now? We agree look at that at the core of because there's a long conversation of the Patriot for people where when when you get down to it like Dionne I look at it from our end. Goal is to help people and we care about individuals. We want people to be better. We want people to be helped like we just have different solutions and at the core of it is not like it's not it doesn't have to be a back and white. It's just like George. Bush says we don't need all this partisan bickering in a time of you're going to quote Bush House a love George Bush's one of my favorite president. Yeah because you slow like him so me out. I'M NOT GONNA say that I'll probably if you were in the same class being back giggling tinge you six renew and keep on put me down a very few are please use a queen you are George. Bush will be in the back eating twists and she has been period. They seemed like they should be in the back. Twist and met George Bush guys would instantly be Savall George Bush's filthy rich. Shut the fuck up. First of all Bush's filthy rich second of all. I don't WanNA shout. Twist of any mother. Have you ever seen George Bush and Michelle Obama any event? They're always cutting each other cutting with each other. You Be Michelle. Obama Miss Pat and George Bush. They'd have no weirdest Kabul. Charlie's angels. I think that like George Bush was hanging out with Allen and Allen took so much shit over that Bush took shit over and he just go. That's exactly what we need to do. An Ellen should be with George Bush because Bush is less likely to be George Bush if he didn't atone for what he did he what he didn't atone for the bullshit that he caused. George Bush he never it out the ice. Okay now I gotta get ready to go. My hips locking up. But I'm just saying like a lot of meat there to keep it together. Here's the thing you say. I'm getting old like I don't exercise. My Shit certified combat some slipped. Kids need to put you together. Because they know how to do. Go this attract right. I will strike the hotwheel track down. High terrified just like one of her kids. Well I like George Bush. I like everybody and I just want you to go. I Don Donald Trump. You liked everybody. The whole purpose of this comes out the whole purpose of this conversation. Go on and talk to somebody that don't look like you. So we can all start having those conversations and we can all grow as a country but to me Gary on come. GimMe a hug. Absolutely not do not touch me. How are we going to start this first of all? There's only four people in his house at a hug. Boom boom boom boom. I don't have hung. Do you think about that. Make I close my par- case. We WanNA think out so much and we love you guys start talking. Have those conversations? And if you don't know nobody blackstone with deal he will answer all your fucking questions cow meal. I'm here I'm here for you but we gotta start talking to as a country so we can start to heal. Asked me to question. You would like to ask somebody blacks when you around. You know the fuck you talking about. And if anybody I graduated with a Masters Degree please. Hit me in my inbox. I need recommendations because I don't know anybody because I don't talk to people. Let's do this if you. What's the email again pat down podcasts? At gmail.com Hashtag need. I have a black question. That's I think that's what we ought to do. If you have a question about another race or another group of people or something along those lines send us an email. You can check it regularly right. I will answer it but if it's dumb you don't copy crisp angle gmail.com on tag me and it's them good because we want to start talking we we need we need. We need to get to know about each other culture. We need to not feel uncomfortable around people. That don't look like US 'cause I used to be scandal. Why People. I'm no longer scared of you. I notable in my own season salt and I know how to act when I come around. You guys be myself and don't eat the chicken salad the whites have here. They've asked you to stop being yourself. Just kidding a lunch lady. Ms Pat is out this bitch. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of the PAT down. Make sure you check out my website at mistake. Comedy Dot Com for all of my social media. My tour dates my book. Make sure you spread the word about my podcast please. Rate every beep please rate a review share Seca somewhat. Alabi Ms Pat.

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Episode 23: Does Your Church Have Snacks?

The Patdown with Ms. Pat

38:54 min | 1 year ago

Episode 23: Does Your Church Have Snacks?

"Hey you love music but have a hard time keeping up with the Tampa we gotta show all about news so join me Joan Array army and me cash heart slow weekly feature. You'll mahomes nailed it. As we discussed the current events in the world of music with our guests cross the plus minute music from listen bins can get pretty heated first of all fucking or we always guarantee sounds while you're asking check us out wherever you listen to podcasts and if you want your music featured on this show emails Jona radio are a wide. Do at G. L. DOT COM Hey It's white boy Chris. This pat-downs ever made you laugh join our patriotic and support US get bonus content a t shirt or an autograph copy of Rabbit Ms Pats Autobiography Visit Miss Pat Comedy Dot convert the link to the Patriot and while you're there join our facebook group hey this is ms pet with another episode pat down today I have with me my daughter Gary and DS Hello Y'all my free craze. What is what is Miss Pat Yeah and I got my friend deal with a smile Afro he's undercover comes Yongin already drugs? y'All going enjoyed this episode day I do because we'll be right back with the real. She got real fat. They got the play frame last on real crime. Uh other spend eight and go play everything fun full pledged Alpha. This tuck served in the way to overtake. Take the welcome another episode of the pack now. I'm here today with my lovely daughter Gary Yang Chris. I'm not gonNA say last name and a good friend. Dion Kerr who was late late is hail people time. I guess I don't know I guess he had to make a stop and make a baby our way was at. I just know you our late. We all pissed off. She told me five o'clock I got a job. There's traffic. She lives an hour from my house so he lime my ass uh-huh I if I was hours into email yours would be the one I wouldn't eat so no so starting off on a on a Nike we went to New York. We wanted to go see a great play call. Oh Ain't no mo yeah we're going to go see eight eight memorials great joining Cooper. I got blisters on my foot but it drains so as good. They're like really he like big pussy. GotTa do play berkinstocks shoes and I kept telling you need to put them. Why is it we just? I didn't know we were going to start walking. I say you need to put them white. Man sounders up accurate dad didn't look through the desert uh-huh healer who he had thirty years experience yeah he was Jesus saying South often for you great concrete with Pothole but in another way bigger than Jesus rats running up nibbling INTERF- he'll. I didn't know that we were going to start walking straight away. I thought we were going. I didn't know I was always a flat. I we were GONNA go walk around. Everybody wanted to walk around town that first day after nine hour flight I was tired. I didn't know where we're going to start walking around town. I thought we were GONNA go into the room. Use them get blister regard little burgers thousand thousands. I tried to tell us this is what fat girl ties catch on five feet lineup like we we visions so the one time I went in New York and I was walking in a park is have a seat baby have a seat not right now in New York one time and nobody told me anything about New York. I'm walking and I was like hey how you owe twenty blocks I watched I walk so much out my strobe together so bad. That didn't grow up the skiing. I'll feature they was I I was at the hotel berry part of vessel ING Inbetween like a rape victim lay holiday. I was on fire. I haven't fag APP. I don't know the fact that well. I was really have Eddie time so no we could get to my lead. Oh my God it was burning so bad. Daniel called the Amazon. Come put my I was. I was at the vending end. I was at the machine at the hotel is pay fast lane beggar pile you thought I was making a bomb between my Giannakou and then the next day I was still in New York so so about those big Old ben as they read it with people benefit when you get burnt put them in between my and now you hear me crunching crushing Jonah what I want yeah the mummify Vagina Mommy walking dead the dry as one time. I put Jones Jones between my legs. These and I had a pen and a lot of our so also I was. I was bowling. When I caught my flight? It was I was wrong. I would tell you I draw who's on the long weekend in New York but it didn't happen this time. Thank God the other thing that's gross about wearing sandals. A New Yorker like the puddles are all just full of botulism and Raptors Botulism Museum Kinda medieval diseases like why would you walk. Why would you walk in the dirtiest streets streets possible? Your feet was going to say where your feet black after your yeah they were black but our thoughts I step in anything or anything Ed this surprisingly clean. It wasn't till like the second day when I saw the dirt of the city. That's what it was disgusting. So your socks and sandals yeah see you WanNa comment me. Well make perfect sense. Nobody WanNA see Nasty Christie feet out most mainly. We go get their feet and you're out in sandals. You think it's appropriate because it's the summertime is not darryl. Put socks on you and I believe in socks and sandals and that's that's a hill I will die on is that is that not commonplace. Is that black thing just a black man thing. Why are you going to learn to put some goddamn socks on Yobe? y'All be having a berkinstocks at the airport in your feet are touching the ground gusting. Yeah wonder why y'all gal sick. All you got the measles you have you out here then everybody I got blacks. We don't believe in overhang the measles record correlation. I bet you could find everybody will measles do not wear socks and sandals this year for the airport and all of a sudden your child's Die Yup. That's exactly what happened. I know some black people that don't fuck in Don't they like I say don't bring your mother fucking know her immune system having made around me thought a fuck up there S. I'm not holding my gaze your baby. That ain't been investing. We should've fascinating fascinating that most because I don't know what type of games is. I'm about to put it in his body. Holy my gay as you'll guess kill vaccinated kid you talk about Ah. I don't get how people don't vaccinate their kids and I feel like this is the same wash their hands after you use the bathroom and its thing today national music off all all types of germs. That's not how it works honey. That's why millions of people die of measles D- measles. HIV Ghana sitting on the corner of the for you get maybe I've never come tails. We use them big EGO. Be on the corner. I dig is delicious. Don't forget the PODCAST Ooh. That's a do catchphrase delicious but that is the tagline yeah you have a buddy. Your pillow is birding chicken bone break you wish for this is my daughter. I sound grows. You Are Digging Your Daddy's vitiated native to well. I keep me out to fucking Paul and he's saying all the time uh-huh people get your kids vaccinated because it's very important so we had a really good weekend beginning in in New York when it's really good play with some girlfriends and we gotta meet Angela Davies. You know who that you do yeah okay. Didn't she tilted the picture I did at first I did because it was black afro the the school. We don't let her have it now she astro. She's really beautiful the blackout right yeah so she was she was there. Kiki Palmer was actually really nice. She was really. I have to go after go and she but she kept taking pictures like all these dusty poor people and I was really sweet of her because I wouldn't have done it. Oh like Bois. What was this young Lady's name Kiki Palmer you would she played that was my favorite movie and that movie that she real smart Black Girl Yeah Yeah Yeah what she's an show billionaires millionare's on showtime? I do debt. That's senior yeah so she she was there. was there yeah who else thought Oh the guy from a top model was there America's next top model. He was like the black the black gay were Rupaul. No Not American so you're not. You're getting your stuff. I'm Outta the same to me I don't watch the voice of and you watch Mitt to thousands like they had dues on America's top model aww he's like he was a judge or whatever so it was a lot of great like Lee Daniels there. was there year great interesting people but it was the right place at the top two yeah we do. We excuse me Miss Davies. My daughter loves you. She ready to March. I I was like please. Can we please get a picture with you and she's like sure come on and she was really nice really good place so that's what we did this weekend. What did you guys do? The I went to work. I went to work made lots lots of little bits of money what little bits of money just scrap were able to American yeah. What about you uh-huh went to church? Why no I just walked up? I feel like you go church. One time and it's the same every single time they couldn't be further from the truth Easter. You just need one good debt can do they want to go up when they need about new outfit East yes. You're Smith's you go and New Year's you want people. You got money you go on your best as you actually like going to church. I go to church we for what awards that you've got. Some Guy Says Jack you know if you had the job at the church that you enjoy. That's weird enjoyment nugget no pushy a church. That's not why I go to church believes he usually usually not casting giant. Whatever the Lord has this Jonah Ray here where not take that away so hot newsroom my ball? I bet steam powered you work at a church. How do you what do you do at Church like pray say a prayer hurt like we do believing leaving guy? We just don't go to church. You don't even organized religions. I think I believe in God but I'm not I'm not that type of Christian Jones. I'm coming. I don't even know I just I believe is a bigger. I believe in something that I truly do. I believe in as Dona Corner Remember Yeah. I don't go to church. I don't go to church right because I tidy church's chicken. Why don't you got three or four times a week? I go because I'm a Christian and I enjoy it and I I get something out of it and gain in everybody's face like we're so confused. He's he gets something. I what what did you get out of. How many times do you tie ah I give them monthly? I give one to go to white shirts. They'll be asking for money like that. Yeah I do my friend did ask me to come to his black church and I'm GonNa go because you they are. The bill had nothing to do later on a sleeping bag and YouTube. Why is it last a long time going well? It depends because like new or black black churches they get you in and out they get vacant. You'll be their own. You know old people who so how do they start. It's all Geez rest our devotion just leave everybody get up and say I want to thank the love what he did for me this week. You're not oh man. That's lay voice old old black man who the slave no he was up on underground railroad with hair you took him because he started the back of the Church and he on hold at one versus so he get all the way up to the P P P pool rally essay the report more Sandwich Way past pool pick pull back of the church and you owe. Ob Won't slow so you get an overweight black women behind woulda Tam Marie and don't take them. I mean in the church and don't go onto fifth Sunday because that's when they robby for the pastor's gift Sunday's past. Don't go on it. There's a fifth Sunday at a month. Don't go see the collection plate disclosure I did. I'm praying. Don't ask for change. Auto accident. Chains a great time to steal. I'd just say you need to eat before him because there there is no snacking acking unless you want to get looked at unless you wanna get slap old ladies you'll have butterscotch not even communion none Camelia Korea black bitches so mean with them small crafts Geek Body of Christ. You talk about they do you. You say they don't give you seconds. The point is about to have a Sunday e. You get your risk cracker. Go Yeah because I was like why can I have more and she's like no. You can't eat out Jesus blower and I was like Hey Greg my white church. It's an hour and a half. If you're if you're two hundred over there's countdown clocks in the back of the church and if you're two minutes over over you're in trouble if you're the pastor because everybody's gotta get to cracker barrel Yes e- Bob Evan at Black Church he asked for another verse of the same Damn Song they sing the song they cook innovate especially especially when like when offering and they start playing that song they go make sure it ain't no skip it. They don't skip roles and if you don't if you don't if you if you tie they'd be like being stone play with me to look them bitch really it'd be like Oh. It'd be old all black woman. She's looking at you like really having a strong. That's when I pulled a confused white person look and I just go no just stick your hand in around the tank. You put some in there okay all right. Isn't that knows the big plus. You got them. One at a time. The Jesus don't need no money they say having a golden role so if he's already paid way nobody cars in heaven. Uh No cars up there when go because we're no cars have been it when it was made thinking imported from Toyota you make if you had a car. Do you think he'd be tracking across the desert on bugging or what have you came back. Now I'm quite sure or he's got fucking a driver. He goes against the whole principle of him being like a minimalist individual he not mental Nomo so he got out his money from the reform Jesus and now he's upgraded like ofo phone down when Tom GonNA float down and his white gown with Jesus ain't coming back Jackie going to download the APP that negate we need to take a break mostly so I can pray. Don't take a break enlists Chris. We'll take a break in endless may land Chris pray. We're GONNA take a break and let Chris pray because I think we have. We did something to him blue but we didn't kill him. We'll be back after I use the bathroom. 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That's why simply safe is my top choice hands down you ring my bell accuracy. You you come in my yard. I can see you you knock on my show. I can see you you come anywhere near my family. Guess what I I can see you when they sent me that picture somebody coming to get you and it ain't Jesus and let me tell you something else about simplisafe simplisafe save protects. Everyone do door room twenty four seven professional monitoring. They can make it easy. There's no contract hidden fees. are fine prints and guess what you guys. Prices are always fair and honest and who don't like fair and honest the one thing that truly may simply safe stan out is his their video verification technology when your home security system are trigger a Lotta time police assume as a false alarm and a call go to the bottom of the list but now with simplisafe bliss say using their video verification technology. They're able to visually confirmed that the breaking happening allowing the police to come to get to your House House three point five times faster than any other home security company so check this out to all my listeners simplisafe has a huge deal going on right now. Go to simplisafe dot com slash pat down. Let me repeat myself simply say dot com slash pet- down and get free shipping and on a money back guarantee. There's simplisafe dot com slash pet- down. There's simplisafe dot com slash pet- down as I am L. I. S. A. F. E. DOT COM. COM SLASH PAT down. I so we back out to see what Chris do the church that we don't do church. You basically go walk in you. Get a seat. You kind of awkwardly smile at the white person next to you is everybody was that everybody that's why I went to white one time up here while they were able to see Blake parade and they will just tapping me. Give me gum and me and I'm not to allow. CBS Don't keep okay so like Louis got up and I started audit China but everybody was like I'm like I give up. This is like country. It was like Rock Country Rock Yeah Rock Christian wrap it you know Christian rap but it is controversial to clap like you you kinda stand up you saying using the the worship Song then you sit down the pastor it gives the sermon and then you do communion the offering and then you go home and they had a billboard write the Song Yeah Rolling in the song after the message it's in it's not anything like you describe seek because black people that you're not getting this message so you pay really. There's never any rainy preaching before. He thought they was rolling the song across. TV STREET SAYS I was like I've never heard this. Is it a big church it yeah it's a mega church on the south side. Okay wasn't what was the name of Mount Pleasant. Oh that sounds like a black church and then it it's and then on Sunday nights I I run the Audio Board for the high school ministers so you go there three times a week for that. I don't have to like to go. That's the difference this not making Nelson. There ain't no games nothing. I know own board no volunteer volunteer don't get paid at church. Nobody nobody gets paid. All those people are volunteers know Jesus. There's more tender something their staff has like the Oregon players lawyers the drummer's thank you pay. What do you mean it turns me tender 'cause like everybody seemed lonely and they WANNA waste time at Church Yogi on tinder doing something for duct? Yeah I have never ever done anything productive on tender. I don't know about well beyond maybe but I can neither confirm nor seems like tenders. The biggest waste of somebody should make a tender for Christians Christian mingle mangle. Oh that's what it is but it's the same it's the they're not current. It's the same girls that you see on match dot Com and you end up talking to the same weird one so it's really Penny Frisch or the country boy absolutely call for zone just like why Weiser is like why is only APPs. That's what they're trying to tell you. No blacks allow black people get on farmers only way I don't know about that but there's plenty black girls on matching tender and yeah I don't know about Christian I wouldn't waste my time but you a Christian or Christian black white blue. I don't give a damn why not because I need a center the feeling bad school which is some holes now what they some halls. That's what I say yeah okay well. I remember going to church. When I was younger in his past? This man will come and get us innova okay. There's what about your childhood advance. There's always who is a dentist okay so he came got us. He was a little past the right so we're lucky in church so he will he will pray and we'd like we would be Becca Joe. I wish you shit the fuck. We want to hunt right right so soon as he fall asleep behind you. What is that what is hunt dropping dryhome supposed to have chaperone road to dose mocking? We dropping to shoot at each other. Open it down for June Bob we got to do. I want to ask how old you were. I'll probably will those teen about right. Yeah no the answer eh kissed each other random around you know you look at the past was always sleep. We're going to pray out and I reload. You're right nickel. You'd be sleep in two hours. Go to get up reebok three versus varsity cheer at the Pierre Boy Appeal Pillbox two peas in it. You know what I'm trying to say. Al Poole P. P. Follows Lee and we'd be dropping wake ed seven o'clock back to pre July. We go home Robbie Deans. I'll tell fire I knew are you. We go to one church. That was a regular across street from my house. I don't know if I told you this story but we go to this church and it was only to eat on Sunday and then I'll tell you the story about the the black ushers were really mean no so get to the church and the black ushers us are and we would eat. We want we didn't we didn't we didn't go to hear Jesus we we didn't we didn't know we just hope you're black kid right. Momma doing a podcast will step out so so we we will get to the church across L. Street and we said no one son to me myself into the preachers like well. Kim is hard time for all of us run ring had just got reelected. I never get the yeah he's like so we can no longer give away free of Sunday on those. They're five dollars a day and I was like this she atto muscle. Look at fuck out here. I play we must of eight hours like we're GONNA get a meal. I was GONNA get a million. She's watched these bitch so does she go black churches to see key to hold goes. My sister was actually see run on his. He's loud good. I'll on the floor. She threw her legs and right. I Dunno draws zone legs out of the US Adecco. You say is Becky here. No Muslims who say why say every weekend you drowsy dirty my muscles bitch. I don't know drought the fuck out pitch for the hell. We're going to go down be sitting at a table when they get down now stands inside out and you know they they will dirty black he'd go hunger old black women who with his Canaria the Book Who's going to all the time just eat party Fridays. My mom used to tell us when we were loaded. She say she said look this weekend. She say fuck which are on Fridays Saturdays and Sundays. That's my weekend. I'M GONNA I'M GONNA I don't smoke a little we or barbecue on fought with NATO and we probably would probably six years old his stuff on the Wiki so we're probably a little bit old. Our I remember being really young and my brother one no no no older than probably teen or eleven so we will get out in foster cut grass and she embiid house Komo we drank alcohol player hormone for. Bb King in Marvin Gaye Crime said on Dr Bay is awesome. Yeah just rolling Mitchell beat Chad love. I love that song because of my grandparents used to take me out for ice cream. It's fun memories of family togetherness so we would only go to church to eat. I mean I know the there's a stylish coffee bar and they have free donuts. Oh yeah this is ridiculous Mega Church and they don't Cook No. That's not the you're not go the three times a week. You're you're not there to get like fed a municipal fellowship last separate every Sunday at Blackstone supple cease. I would like that but you can't fucking up my words you gotta get out mess suppler Supper Berkshire upper. She's looking at my she's. She's thirty off lasts up there. I'm with you Miss Pat Church E. I don't get people don't eat food like in the mornings you wake up in the morning editor at night a lot of expertise Zach's B.'s was the barbecue original originalist by seizing very arena pepper texting yesterday and I was confused about something because we have a difference in language sometimes uh-huh and she goes she was used to talk about just cut. I almost called you and I go. You're right. I'm sorry I'M ZAC spy's. The spices are getting the house like really okay. That's spicy shit me already then Zack space of all the places that's ridiculous. That's really it is actually we need you to sponsor of our each chicken all day. Fuck Yeah. I love chicken tenders. Oh they listen to me up for thirty minutes what Pat I and then it registered and I was like did she just say thirty minutes because it didn't do what they do. So so we know ideas episode was going to be about Church today but we learned a lot. I learned long yeah. We learned a lot about your pursue yeah. They don't feed you. They don't hold off a say. y'All be qui- I don't tell you twice. They hungry is supposed to feed in fifteen minutes ago. We learned a lot today. We learned Chris don't they don't eat at his church is very quick to get in and out so him not to go to the Black Church because they ask for your money and they gonNa automatically think you reach because you right and he did. They don't don't think you'd police which under the opposite of the police yes sure is always you walk in your black frame. You should be say okay. do you go to church for like funerals and weddings and nobody's getting married. People ain't down what they used to the OBAMACARE Macaire saving for a couple of years but I think about now they will be start dropping like flies and we'll be in touch all the time going to fuck so you like people weren't dying as much 'cause obamacare with really buffering their death rate but now they ain't got it. I know he buffering Renault. Ok P body. They still hanging on people you know shouldn't be dying Obamacare or not twenty years old. My family fucking talking got Obama. Can you read a false negative wheel out like a white man trying to kill me of Yogi sheet. I am I will now. I know we will think that far. y'All figured out what I'm Dan. I'm going to be like breeze. I got out of China who divided divided shitting Yama focus deal over whatever I'm GONNA get two weeks. I'll give ashes weeks. I'll take what I want to wring your hair down. I'm taking and I'll take some your clothes. It'll be nice. You have a nice you. He's already dividing your shit up. He was sick yeah not even in your fifties yet she going along like can't even stop away factories shutting down the box move out on me the factory ankle going out of business already stopped taking you like toys. The report gross my my bad in my view. We WanNa do know more about revenge edger of health. You'll put saying oh good hale going on. We don't if we would fall. They think if you ever Jonah forty you down okay I'll be sexually active sexual act tough he'll into whatever the hell you WANNA call it healing in what sexual he'll yeah. Oh okay. That's very old reference Jesus Christ. I think we should in there yeah we'll in. Can we ask be having. There's no proof thank you all so much a tune in to the Dale. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of the PAT down. Make sure you check out my website at MS pet comedy dot com for all of my social media my tour dates my book make sure you spread the word about my Pug

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Episode 80: Spurned Tongue

The Patdown with Ms. Pat

1:01:38 hr | 4 months ago

Episode 80: Spurned Tongue

"Hey. This is actor writer advocate and host of black folks Brandon Kyle Goodman, and I just want to give you a friendly reminder to vote on November. Third I know twenty twenty has been a whirlwind to say the least and all of us are exhausted but there is so much at stake and your vote matters remember voting is not about you. It's about the collective change can only take hold when we all ban together together we are unstoppable now I know there's a lot of. Out there and it can be overwhelming but had to vote dot org where you'll have access to all the information you need to navigate the electoral process. Again had to vote DOT ORG and make a plan to vote today lives are depending on it. Thank you. Hey, it's white boy Chris. If the pat-downs ever made you laugh then join our patriotic and support. US Get bonus content. A T shirt or an autograph copy of Rabbit. Ms. Pats Autobiography Visit Miss Pat Comedy Dot Com for the link to the Patriot and while you're there, join our facebook group. Welcome to another episode of the pet. Now I have the energy of a cow today is that low or high low low you? You're you're like in a funny mood you like your punchy this episode very silly. But a fun way. Yeah. I guess 'CAUSE I. AM store from south buying she's come onto a podcast, but we talking about some day when we talk about. Well, we're talking about phase with Roselle Spur tongues talked about your brother. My brother from jail with Ankle Monitor, verify a story. What else trying to get me some pussy we heard male labor songs going up. Yonder. Yeah. Quite the show. Variety low energy. But quite the fuck is jump at the music play to get you in the mood and get out the shower. We'll be right back out. His press. Real fat. Fat. The. Same, lines. Politics it's on real crime. You put on. You. Play thin. Nothing Ever taste. Full. Alpha. Your desktop computer. beat another. Over. Time. Thanks. Don't even don't even explain even. Explain it, and she just go forget it and this as you again, the next time every single town we do this, she always ask you why you this is the. Yes, all the time every time because. She goes. We want. Would wipe me we need to do video. Video, we need to do video and then I go. It's a lot of work you hate it you get mad you gotta put on makeup and then that's fine I'll be fine people love it, and then we do video and then you get mad at the whole process yell at me for Clap into sync the audio what do you mean? Oh, you got imagine stick. Yes. That's what the the. Yeah. I. Don't have that magic stick thing though we need to get one. Decrease. Well you fool who? I'm sorry Chris if you wasn't born, where did you gonNa Miss. We do need to take a moment of silence for my first key. Is Father he in hospital? Oh No. Yeah. Okay. He's just had surgery because he was fucking cranky isn't cult kidney stones. So if you fuck crackheads, it gives you kidney stones that. Make peaks his rock. Evidently, that's what I was told the other day. So take a moment of silence for him. No longer have to peace rocks. I heard there was very. US. Hey. Keep Briggs or crackheads to smoke kidneys. No can you? He's pigeon taking their diamonds? I wonder what caller ID, what if they break them up in smoke him Could totally see that trying to mend about her and this a rocky isn't it? Yeah I think I think it's like a legit rock. It's like a crystal calcium DAPA. It's it's not. Know smoke them. That's for sure I. You know because you can't. Have you draft. Why would I try to smoke a kidney stone? To say that you can't smoke a SA- kidney stones. There are some things you know without actually Mike an end up in a rural Guinea history. You. Know World, what you get his book. Wasn't a you drunk off again is what the? Book what is it call the Guinness Book of World Writer Guineas but what the fuck did ask I. Don't to roll back the tape on that one. Books again it. Here's what I heard the world of Guinness Book of Records. You. Crazy. fucking getting if you make their records that you shouldn't have some people shouldn't hold records and. Stones. Is One of those records you don't want to have that. So you don't agree with Dow in context I think it's dumbest Shit I I wouldn't is there a long? Pussy Pussy. We're here at Mile Marker number seven. John. I Tom I'm here at the Pussy Market Mile Seven this thing keeps on going. Out of breath, I needed to take a break back to you in the studio. Well. Let us know when you. Reach the uterus. On questions as a penis that against the world worker so I wanted to A. Clear is a click. I watched party tongue whatever you WANNA call it. What sparked tone. spared. Stunt. Birdsong. Spur spurt what. Cottages bertone. She's only known to just bertone. or US give us then as we are. Apparently because the baby daddy's got kidney stone. No I grew to realize the clink demand in about you know she's I don't know why she called this bertone. Member she's trying to say spare tone. Yeah. That's more like a spare tone. It makes more sense. Why does that make more sense? When you the miss pat part of my brain like you know the. Beginning of a show ever. going. down. Be. killed it. So no you. Know. I A call a Christian. Medina donate. Onda. Popped my head. She don't know cree even though. Quiz. He'd and she had no. Go. Never heard that song. That version. Fuck You DA. Foam agenda she knows what you call it. She. She has okay. I got another free another Christian frame. You gotTa keep them. Christians. On debt when you want to verify. A Good Ole Christian? Now she one no she I'm sorry. The she picked up and miss hung up immediately. Columbine no COB. No she? No. I'm telling you watch this. I'm. Yeah I gotTa Tell You 'cause Y'all got to join issued. This is I'm Christian music you know how to fuck you don't know these you'll Chris because you're ruining it that's how I don't know. Your. Whatever it is. You're fucking it up horribly not. Lati-. You remember that Christmas saw going. To be with my law. Wasn't I'm GonNa Song. Sell. Your. Youtube it because. His I'm drawing I'm Blake. Change this one. That's what Christmas is about everlasting memories of never having toys this so. What does thing in it? Now. Apparently spotify has three choices of it and two of them are white and one of them instrumental. Hey Chris gap. Own. What you plan is depressing. Damn. Hoti. Restaurant an ad hold on. Hardy. Ten seconds, and then it'll be the song. It's a black person singing hole. It'll be a black person saying I fuck. You know because their names tremaine. Germain's I'm not your you're my mom Bra. A piece. Of Sheet. Yeah from all foods. Third Rock. Cursing. They got to walk down the. She. Curled Griffin. They got there by the theories. No. We're. Blue. Studios. Wall. God. I do. If anybody wants to make remix that hit me up I've got the voice isolates. Always schooling. You niggles. Yeah. I have heard that song before your version of it. I don't ever WANNA. Hear again. Can't identify a song by Janda. Fuck. Yeah. So, call it begin a divorce I all that what through. Unbelievable. I would never in a million, the anybody nightmares of my name Oh said about the be offset pressure that's not his government named. Joe Me here. Well, you gotta be careful black. What they nature should they can't afford not. To. I asked. Apple Paltrow. Yeah who the fuck name is. Apple Paltrow, Gwyneth paltrow's daughter. You know why will just started doing rich ghetto people the poll trastevere achey Garrett and jared and and Reagan and Shit like that. Pendulum Kid's name is Moxie crimefighter, Gillette. Moxie crimefighter Gillette, who maybe Penn and teller the comedians the tall one that talks in the one that doesn't. Show Oh. My God. Are you? Joe Biden on this podcast what it's go. Talk about my moving president. IOVINE president. We gotTA give a shout out to we got a black woman run for president and I'm so grateful that we might get some more color in the White House. mean she ain't going lilly she don't visit right what does she say give her a give her a couple of weeks she made may take over the top topsy she accidentally slipped up and goes in a Harris Biden administration to like yeah, I really do think something is wrong with Joe Biden I I'm I'm hoping like hell he don't debate he is so as I. Don't give a fuck which I'll say because I'm voltage Oh bag is better than vote for creepy as South Orange Clown races on top of that I'm voting for. If you vote for your bullshit, I can vote for my bushy. I would say I'm voting Bush even though he dad boring I'm so scared that he won't get to the debate have a stroke and was. That NIGGA. Was Dan it. Is fucked up cave. Remember what he's reading. He gets to read. Where am I met? I'm. At Walmart any, go, back to. Being, present. I, think people underestimate the desire of the American people to have brain dead president that does nothing for four years. It isn't that what would you say? Well. A Lotta. She did a of he did too much. Yeah. He stole a lot of sheets and his son say I saw today what trump's sign was. The supreme. Court. Or Somebody Sola Miata come into cohesive nuts after the election. You don't get to decide with the government. I guess you do when Your Dad is running the government but wade. So junior was supposed to go to court and. Go to court and he said he going I think it was eric trump google eric trump and say I, just passed by a real quick I'm not going into what's at that election because he already know his Dan lose getting the fuck up a hill they going to Mars. Jupiter which one is the father's Jupiter. Going now, I don't know how you going to get there I guess he gonNa go melena bag. Of their spaceship that's what she looked like interface. Yeah. He's. He's he wasn't going to court to out the election. All I know I'm staying in my house on on election night. Eric. Trump says he's willing to be interviewed by The New York Attorney General's office. But not until after election I told you I'll be last I read some light dead what I told you yeah. What is it? What? What? What? The New York ag With the New York attorney general several different things that they're investigating trump for in and he like if he gets cocaine you see red his eyes he he is awesome dull. So good. Don't appreciate straight Outta Cue-ball. The chatter is that if trump loses the election, the New York Attorney General is going to have his way with Donald. Trump. and. So that's one of the reasons that trump fans want to vote for him. Is that to keep them from going to jail you're like, well, he's gotTa leave some time. Yeah. But he that's why wanted to thirty election. He's the third attorney. Is that possible crew? No no I know you why you know everything is that possible? No after FDR stay too long and I think he won his fourth election they they There was A. An amendment put in limits it too. So, you can only do to total terms as president in life. Yeah. So let's say Biden Harris Win Biden passes away Kamala Harris finishes his three three years of it. She can still serve to were terms but she. No No. Keep an airbag. Keep onto my and going die think that like. The health of these two men is not good and they're really old rob and this body on swamps year. Right. Mr Accidentally told everybody I had mini strokes like. Peak Twenty twenty is one of these two geezers Croak and right before the election and then there's a crisis but yeah, I don't know how fucking funny Dan, the man I don't wish I'll I want both of them Croak on November third one of them just one of them like how funny would be both of them? Oh Vote for. What did you think? Be Awesome, Joe rogan hosts, and debate. Have you talked to him or? Joyce, please do this person. I, as he can't stay awake for hours let alone of them will be in they might want to debate your neighbor John Lewis because they're going to roll both of them out of there do old people can stay awake. They got these take naps and she it they just can't stay straight awake they I'd take a couple of naps trumbull earliest hell tweet well, oh people being early because they won't they happen alive who Jesus and get my is last night is why people wake up at five o'clock in new. York. Well my dad. We're all people do things they go to bed early and they liked the TV to be on a walk to my dad won't trying to turn into. Yeah. I'm watching TV Nigga. You will snow but. Noah's from the TV. To that they're still alive. It's a defense mechanism. Yeah. So when you get a certain age, you know can't kill him he watching TV. Well. How death words get a certain age? You don't WanNa, fuck in Croke over you know we all gotta go the yellow thing about that. Yeah I used to be terrified of dying now Mike. Okay. No I've never was terrified but now that I'm I'm thirty seven now and the older you get you sorta go. Eight yeah like my parents are getting older I'm getting older like I'm almost forty like the. Then you start to think about, oh, what are the next thirty forty years going to be like? You start to think about a more when you get older I never planned on leaving this long because like when we were kids manet terrified us with the rapture in that shit like Jesus come back. We're in the year of our Lord and I'M Like, Oh, you mother fuckers lying to get people to act right and I, remember I remember when I used to go to church just to eat and they said. Is that the rapture God, you saw snatching eagles off our. But I realized my neighbor drive is. God I knew a bullet with Ben. Don't. Come, do. People disappear. Needs disappeared my neighbor it because my shadow, Sasa. Oh. This is what the rap G. O. Okay. Fuck with no by and you won't get you caught up enwrapped yourself Chris. You go to church all time right? Am, I saying this right? That after the rapture happens, there's seven years of tribulation. We can take the mark of the beast and all that dumb shit year. That's one view of it. So like that's the left behind version of it, which is kind of because of that series, the more popular version where the rapture happens. Then they're seven years and then Jesus comes back and then there's some people who like, oh, we're in the middle of it all like it's I don't believe in Jesus Chris Do. Me Too. Is got to be some special one may to give up his whole life To save all of us. He didn't and we still ain't doing right he didn't. He was talking to those people in that time. He didn't give a fuck about none of us. That's why he ain't came back. Know. What I think is true because on come back to save Nick. Let me let me say this notable. Let me say this you. Know babble. 'cause let me say some. When a bit there apple we will on. So she. Apple trees over there. What are you talking about? What was the fee Jerry? That's what it would have been. Had it been an actual thing? Yes. Well, she'd been a fee and made us have ears. Big and now you're telling fear I. Don't WanNa hear this doesn't That's why we all. Have your period shamed her because she. That God installed I got an apple and talk to the devil. And now we have appeared apples is ray I blood is read. How can I? How can I debate? Talking about the push that's Joe Biden is going to say the same thing. Debates, somebody who just makes things up The apple is read. That's why blow was really yeah that's. That's why we here because and that's why how come you don't have extra ribs. Who You Get three or four. Where you? Know Extra your new. World Order Real. This. One Rim I show him hungry. What does he say? About of. Drink. MARKUPS cost more than fifteen cents poorer hair for. A. Second, Christmas. Vehicle. Being. Believe in Geez. I. Believe how you POW why don't you? Don't believe in aliens but I do believe as a higher power and I do not. From Earth he's alien. How you know because he's not because he had to create this place how do you spear it? You see God. Again, how? She's on wanted today she she made a point that smile and that's what he knows. She's like fuck with the. God Light. Okay they say Jeez I have war any skiing level. Any feet of cross. Base calling domino's. Pizzas. Jesus feet anything like me it because. It was a covered. He could abate himself some wooden shoes. Look. Lip KLOPP. WHO's that? That's the savior of the World Clip Club. I don't believe he foot across because Arab I. Know when you get crossing the nowhere written in the Bible, never anywhere other than the gospel of Miss Pat. He's one of the book left. Feet across now it is not. You completely, what will skiing allow? Crossed Right. Jesus scarecrow you're making because I was always wondering why he just rubbing feet together when. You talking who the fuck out talking about giving it three things tried. Jesus. Looking, I've never heard hair hair of feet of burnt bronze. Feet. Where are you getting feet across from? 'cause a bar buyers it. Is Skiing Feet. What are you? What are you coming up with over there? I'm just trying I'm never heard hair of wool so like. I I'm trying to figure out like have you have our hair war? Why people got a different Bible? Ask Blackbox Oh, it's in revelation one fourteen. The heroine has head was white like wool as white as snow in his eyes like blazing fire. Now. Black. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace and his voice was like the sounding of rushing waters. NIGGERS y'all. Scan like. Did didn't get to the skit. Yeah. They don't describe Jesus the dude he's supposed to save everybody. They don't even tell you what the nigger look like. That makes sense. You're very negative about Jesus, not negative about Jesus negative about the story of your tail people who? Don't really know because stop you here letting you know you. Lose what I said. Stop letting liars tell you their troops. Jesus Rio. Diaz. Not. There's no evidence. Whatsoever of do actually existing what is not really a hairline. Jesus Christ. That allows you with a wig on her head. Talking about. But Agata hairline now, you ain't saying talk you have my God, would no bronze fee as of fire and throw on the water? Held seven stars in his hand he. Why? You know that will well read the Bible for more. You know what? The seven stars Walsworth here, Netflix Pass. Coal. Also got them. Stupid. How about logging? Jesus's account. No yes. Them stalls in his hand. came out of them. Let me more lies I thought you was a Christian Chris. Revelation. Memorized why this uses scattered Shit Outta Manger Yeah that's what they use it for. Make you frayed? What does it guide neat with people nothing he needs us for nothing if you create the universe why the fuck that you need people an ad coming out of his mouth was a sharp double edged sword. His face was like the sun shining and all it's brilliant. It's fucking allegory ain't none of that Shit what does Al Gore just fucking. It's a way to tell a story to get people to believe it this. All solid were he did this he will be like that because have saved you doing covert look you gotta call. You got bitches you got. He's you gave me bitch is. What you're right miss. Fads thank you. Lord you. Hope you being so motherfucking negative. I'm not. Be a realistic. There's no proof. You just you heard a story from someone you trusted. That's all. That's all. Church the EAT. So you. Clearly didn't kit message. For the mess for the cafeteria in the basement. But. I'm just saying I know I've been down and out he always kept me fail my mom was ideal drunken she. Put Out. He gave us a thirty day. No let us know star Patty if God really cared. He wouldn't let you go through all that just to get you some two pieces of chicken and juvenile he wouldn't take you because it's unnecessary. Sometime, you gotta go through something to get to something you don't have to you. Can you don't have to what's a world with? No struggle a peaceful great place will you guys what he was trying to create and then he led a snake talk to a bitch and she ate apple that's my point. That's. Perfect man, he had a perfect world. Focus they fucked it up. Get back to that you make. Me that she didn't need. No APP exactly I'm using what you said against you. And I have appeared. Do you have a game over no I don't. So I warn no laws. That's why you have a period because you lost because you didn't do you suppose a Biz My may pay. You Ain't GonNa put me way back there. He. Just watching. The Middle The stone magazine Raptor from Eve, which is a period. Out He had no most dust up and foul turned into lot's wife. Now it just say, Hey, I was going to appear in change your mind you dropped. I'm almost fifty. You don't get an old is scary like older woman because you know you say game you know I ain't got no wrinkles on net that day but you find yourself really wanting to count to keep up with young girls I. Don't I'm not trying to keep a younger like. Shit. You did when you was younger say John. You're. I I only shave my vagina when I'm going to colleges and his never even I went the other day I told you and I looked. Chip, the focus I did the best I could do with no mirror solar. Clips one side your head's cut wrong. Pretty much. We must stomach gave. Goes fucking. I'm glad I got a husband data. Can Help Save Miss Pats? John. Dow Music. Maybe go like that where you don't WanNa all bitch. I. Love Older Women because they have their shit together. They ain't about no bullshit young girls they care about dumb stuff that don't matter. They drop their phone, the toilet they're just always. There mess like. We're actually coming back in style. Yeah. I have never went out of style that's your problem. Yeah. Think y'all have the fucking shit is tiny. Only say somebody fucked you. Oh hypothetically hypothetically a phone woman fuck you. You Young. You Ain't guess you'd Alpha nobody. Older want a young man because they old Miss Dick don't work. Yeah. It's great. So you Dan the best spot possible when you when you see somebody who's like you help a bit bill what about only hill? That's exactly. Yeah. They don't fuck around like a single mom. How do you know we'll go because I did a lot of dating. You on tender you you hit them up to go listen I've got four hours. You can come over and eat me out and then you have to leave out to lead that ages may Chris this nasty the point is Apple from a snake what are you made, right? What are you just going over like Uber Embiid Uber eating. Over eating you have some I don't I date. No. Don't eat me on the first day. But let's not lose the point. Oh, we're GONNA. Have they have their shit together they tell you exactly what they want. They get straight to the point younger women are always like I'm GonNa just drop this hidden hope he guesses to see if he cares I. Don't have time for. Hints like you didn't know I was really into you 'cause you never fuck it said it right I don't have any games we're gonNA, take a break and come right begging them as she would old beaches say what are the stuff that's going on in the world times I don't feel totally comfortable in my clothes because I don't stayed in the house too much and got some H. Two lumps and stumps but those days our shape where from shape dot com shape where from shape permit dot com smooth all them stumps in bounce baby I feel comfortable and you know what I can. Find, shape where for my body because shape permit dot com has the best products brains they have tanks, shorts, batty soups, and much more and Bay they got shaped where for every occasion shake where form shape permanent gives a polished look and when you set out, it don't roll up onto your belly like some of that other stuff. 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Now are more ways to be a team with Microsoft teams bring everyone together in a new virtual room collaborate live building ideas on the same page and see more of your team onscreen at once learn more at Microsoft dot, com slash teams. You GotTa want her when you do that. Shot. Bitch. Sodomy issue. So what do what is you? What do old women do? What do all women do? What do they want? When an older while you don't why you don't like if I was out dating. And if I gave it to yellow guy what you were looking for and if a SPEC, you pay my bills, the help me out and I will tell you to go fuck yourselves. Inside would happen. Yeah pay bitches. But you appear young HBO No. No I'll pay I barely pay my own fucking build. True. What happens if you like really you what happened if you move in with a woman? Older woman. Then I help out wherever she needs me to help out if I got to install a cabinet I started no Nigga like, gas world food. half-and-half with your partner for I don't have a partner I. Don't want no part. Don't eat no partner. I'm Chris Rock and rush hour or Chris Tucker. Know Partners I. Feel like you irresponsible. That's why you don't have any kids and. No Wall? No. Because there's pullout game strong. He don't pull out. Ads. I think you don't eat enough fish. Package. Don't. Jesus. Node you. Think he go. Maybe like me. I mean you thirty some I mean don't you WANNA GET MARRIED WHOA I hate relationships they're terrible I don't WanNa wake up and you have to care about somebody else's fucking feelings I don't WanNa do that I won't care about my feelings you are you I'm a selfish as whole. Yes I am a Republican. When it comes to relationships probably, I'm very conservative. Things my it don't come off. Oh. You're a boomer white male. What's your opinions on the NFL get you? Get. A lot of white people that's like the Roger Rabbit. You. He can't resist say the NFL. I hate their political talk. I hate the cullens asset homeownership. Just entertain me. That's what they be Santa me like. Himself why can't the police killed them shut up and saying you shut up and dribble? Yeah. That's. Shut up and drip shut up, link my hands from the size. So define like define old like you keep saying older lady like who do you mean Miss Pat? Like are you talking about like he's saying Li years old sixty years old women they need love like a lot of single girlfriends, right and Like one of my girlfriends. So let me ask you this. Why do you think they're single? One of my girlfriend makes a lot of money. She just work all the time. She don't do anything really go meet a man and she literally. I don't even think she concentrated relations. She just concentrate on career career curricula and I'll be like you not that you need a man but I'm like just. What I would love to see her marriage. She's fifty some years old nobody wants to die alone. I've been married a long time and I have to say I do have to say the least I get and smell the NIGGA boy of. My give. My marriage. That was like the last thing like I'm not nostalgic for that. That's a weird. No what nostalgic mean but you. Do You will literally lay next to look like you craze. So you soon have been happy anyway. Somebody broken out and would have outages to laze attach. I'll look because it was Christie's dated this e two lesbians together and you'd have been killed and then realize the me. So. You know one thing I've heard is that women like let's say they're around fifty. They have a tough time on internet dating because all the guys their age set their age range from like eighteen to thirty five, and so they don't ever actually swipe and actually meet somebody their own age. I'm so glad I have a husband it will be hard for me to date have no tolerance for the bullshit. You know 'cause I back in the day when I had them STD's I don't have time for that. She our time approval d they don't work see. That's exactly like why dating older women's better because they don't fuck around they don't have time for your, but I just say less little. Yeah. He said I. Don't have to repeat it. You heard you heard demand you're demand. The White Man I'm. I'M GONNA ask my girlfriend like 'cause my girlfriend's I I. Don't have time for this bullshit is she's going by her Like what everybody wants to have sex that feeling never go away. Yeah. So one time beat around the Bush with all this other crap like fucking fucking I don't WanNa do. All the extras like I don't want to go target I. Don't I don't WanNa do that that circle yes or no bullshit you did when you were. Use I HAVE NO PROBLEM Nobody Ono. Empty. Stomach dangerous. E- creates lots of gays. CUIV, there's trying to figure out how you make a John and Cuiv. Have you ever had one. Bad would it happens? It's the funniest shit ever. Yeah Ed you both just start laughing. What was that? Why did that come from the Front? What was? Doing sex girls just can make it happen. Both usually happens during sex. Just. Going up in and then coming back a plunger you know nobody can so there are girls. On demand I just met. You just made me think something. So when I was young I used to go to this club. Card Charles. He's. Not Talking about I'm underage like a Muslim, but it will all the drug dealers Hong. Out It was nothing come out new club and seeing Nichole killed up on your car. Now you gotta go to child hotdog stand eat today removing. Go Man so they moved there. What the? One I came out here and. Speak up on my car. This is so inconvenient. One that I came out of child this go and his blog at Kiel he was a Posse Goddamn. Own, you failed to the right a little bit so. I could have had my. He was directly. It was all simpson row if you might agent. Charge this Cole. Was the sheep. So I'm underage my friend who was here. Her. So she got oldest is we really get free and so I'm like twelve night I just had as you. So I'm probably thirteen fourteen years old at the Clo- fake ID part of like a Weird Charm Negi. Kia we had to go over to the hot dog stay but he's a have. A Strip night mail night. Males in the women and you say she's a knock out she so fine loan. Fuck out. So, and this is what I did not. Do, audience but had scruples a crack as you end up having a baby. To go I saw smoke a cigarette. Well, how Pussy. fucking masks and. She was making so much money. She would spin around like breakdown and they just put cigarettes out pushing and she was at blacks blowing the small i. Push his sheet gap and you know and I. was smoking a cigarette like a real old man because I was a little raggedy on. Scoreless. It blue. Grass was doing. Because he makes circles. Man. I was like what? The fuck child this my brother and he'll tell you they used to days. Am I use like hall because she spoke cigarettes it'll I seen a girl? unscrew a milk jug were booty cheeks. She took the top off of milk with her but. That ain't got smoking a cigarette put. ME. Because, I used to go my brother, he's had a finger as it happened. He's had. His he had alone and. Child this cold. Ammonia podcast. Baltic, you remember that the script now now and smoking cigarettes on Pussy. You too young to remember that were you. Able to new. Nobody asked you to hold up was smoking cigarettes. I. Some points he was scared. Smoking the secret. To push it. Was You all be missile it. Hold on smoke cigarette wonderful into Singapore. Once, you come down low mom. Talking about. Pussy Ball. Bichir. Who've Jonah's most cigarettes. US. I'll see astles Morton, cigarette. To. Use. Needed about Dick. Got, one themselves. No No. piggly being bigly leader to the women's the gave. You the game boy. were. Country now everybody's doing it but still meet. Again. You. I. Mean to me into the miracle. Agree with all of that. You know back in the eighties it was all you had to hide that. You let go buy that. You will homosexual was against it was basically against what what, what, about the really become or will be known. Or Yeah I mean, he saying gay I told Me Okay, you get some poodle you game. Don't don't do it. To me is still okay so low marry twist. A woman now. You know he would warmer Y. Y, year. Basso I may switch back and forth. Have you talked to? Him. I thought. We told him. Air By? No, it's the whole. Anthony. Tony ILN alert down don't, make. You have to be home. Won't be no. Good No. Shit it ain't good. He's. What about what about gay stuff in prison is that? Okay. Gay stuff imprisoned light. It will from me. Using. Waiting trying to look for that pet nobody can rule. Play Gay Crap I've probably been I've been in a maximum-security by shit like they'll be nobody getty's. Ain't got no kids. No. Bill kind of like laid back it will. He had to pay for I. Don't you free you gotta you gotta peanut butter and Jelly sounds up but only sell every every irritate everyday. Baloney now. No. I told me why don't buy. Me So much I won't keep you can't eat peanut butter concentrates you need one little bag. Say You. Should you should be dry up you offer you try you still can't do you can't do it. Meets La there where you got by five or six lasted airtime eat food. L. S. should concentrate you he pays. Okay. Well I'm glad you. constipated constipated. I'm glad I'm not too. Okay well, I'M GONNA call you back. Don't do nothing. Wrong. Does I can't Doodo Volvo all read I'm I think I can go to megabucks. Shit there. They got GPS on my ankle and I thought they will put one. Oh man I told him no smell and now. I ain't a modified me. Oh, good. They wanted to put. This one guy said, they can do your they put. It. I just I stick with the League the ANC part. would be on their way to build anchorman the field the PRE president anyway it is. So you can't go past the mail box. try not to I don't go I mean I. Go to the mailbox and sometimes ain't go read to my own long enough. I stand proud out of five sick with from flack a recent and get it. Back in up. I mean. They treat you like a dog with Elektra fish nickel. I will put a collar around mme. I'm sorry. So I'M GONNA call you back up these podcast, but I just want make sure you remember the lady at the disco you smoke. Cigarettes put. Those. Focus. Craze more. My brother's home. As you can see, I'm so happy. Do. You believe that he's seen a lot of smoking pussies. He was real good looking back in the day yet them over got movie star Teeth Really Oh my God He. My brother has the most beautiful teeth that you ever want to see somebody to. He loves his he like me. And they were straight and I remember back in the day we was young she. He went to go get a gold teeth or go to a and he was. My straight teeth, he took a penny eight to go two thousand T-. No you did. I thought that she she on my mouth nomo. took a butter knife is straight the glue off what they Will want to throw up. Yeah that's what he did. He's draped the sheet off his I gotTa tell you this before we wrap up. So I'm in homegoods today because you know I like to go out shopping she facebook marketplace time fuck you called. So I'm standing now here's my bill to over you guys, but it's for the people at home they listen and these late cashiers. Oh my God you smell so good. I know fuck I don't. I said that is not being. So older white lady probably about six years old Sabe. That's probably Ming and I said I think it is you and in other to other cashier who was person what do you win? She said this is if you love Giorgio you're gonNA love Primo. I get it from walgreens and I looked at Kansas that bit one make. Walgreens you'll remember that if you love Giorgio you gotTa Love Primo No this Shit you get your Dick. From a bitch forbath foldout. Yeah. been around for so goddamn long it was knockoff Cologne if you love. You love figure he'll. You Membrane Man embiid channel so much today. Old Lands Oh. I felt like I was standing in nineteen eighty two. I'm like who the fuck on his this account of sheep will you an award at your house and you know little older you pose spray primer on it so you can go out to close smoke. Fuck. You. Use, menthols that takes care of all. Nice, friend. Oregon. Do that Shit Primo Georgia out at fake. Shave you love. Love Baggio don't wear perfume. It's it's an affront. Twenty twenty we need to stop per few. That's my firms to. I. Think it smells horrible. It makes my tongue swell up. that. Because business coming over your house. Well, you have a waitress walks up to your table and she just again reeks of perfume for the reasons you're talking about just because you eat in field and they all got on permeable and premio and taxi. Oh, and Maxi L. There's some fucking. Are when you when you hit up the coachman yeah. You you get a aggressively attacked by the ladies and they're perfect. Yeah. Well, you need to stay forgot coachman so at. Looks like a bar. Pitch. The women who used per ramon she being on dresses eighty two. Yes. So everything on separating the perfume to chemicals to Kane. New. They dammed. They got to put together like a biscuit spraying on. Did you ever wear Cologne when you're younger like brute? English leather. Brax body sprint own. Crews worker. Tommy Curve I. Wore curve at our age and middle school. You were curve man you were. That's how you get older women curb take it back to the high school. I. I can't say that green with the fly. Won't year Aspen. I couldn't stand that shit an old man we run up on you church socks and shoes and they got on their bruton and slap it on my phase and threw it on shirt you like pop. You don't get the fuck away from me smell like a barber shop wearing aqua- velva. The fuck is Aqua Vale after she. xactly. I. See why use a very euphoric. Reporting. You know that was a great joke but I want a personal apology please. Get it. We're taking up donations, not money, but Vagina for Chris you got any it as maleable we need. To this bomb. Or Malleable now. Melba were. maleable. Or malleable metal. Senate into my way my plus the. Stance. Pussy I ever male going to need you. Prepay, postseason. Marr- you have a janitor I. Care of spare tongue. Out, the have a spur of. Matt Wouldn't. Spur Talk Nj mayor. Mail him jaws. The office. I am. Not. Getting Lake is this I'm tired you come in with a dickey. Dick next deal. You have to involve me sitting. down. A little cat what I had on. You just straight Osama I have some like green eggs. One of my favorite because you've just been so silly. I'm. Kristie I WANNA question, Nipple. It's not that big. Oh. Definitely, not that wide Chris I promise you when I become famous. I'm going to get your Dick Transplant. Thank you as soon as somebody killed. Would it be deep I'm asking to donate a deep. Under a car in Atlanta I. Go play them. He's get shot I'll make name Chit hot down restaurant down we go to so it was it was charged go right here any three down with air by the one eight the hot dog stands like little hot old. Good ed chilly Dawood. The onion tool clock in the morning with Chili on top of the motherfucking g. then when I eat, she begged the fries. Oh. Leave their stuff. You leave your day does start with a V.. You've mentioned it maybe before that's a varsity not that she took acid first time you gotta eat this. Oh this shit horrible bring me. You got gotTA. Have people to. Because he's a staple of allow people who live there do not eat this year now that she will give you die real. GonNa Real Tranquilizer real actually you cross too much of it. is good going down, but it burns coming out. Oh, you've a seventy all on fire. Yeah. Yeah. There's some see. But I have you have you have you have a land you know go to the Varsity. Good. Luck. What a? Resounding. I'm -DORSEMENTS UTAH. Resounding. syllables. We're going to wrap down because they being our Buji. Shit. I'm really tired eleventh grade vocabulary. Bucci because he said, resounding. You know you even know what that were. Just, tired and honoring, right? Yeah. Zillow. That's not a word. Rotea she's No. Not. Your cheats. Asia reserva. Met Rouge. What is rule? Was your grandma put under cheeks. Blush that read stuff? Yeah we didn't do that. Grandma agent put Zemin vessels. Why wouldn't put rules on a now? They look like clowns in. Their old as perfume. I was ample time and I knew I said I was on but this lady had a little girl and the Graham was next. Eight years old and Luger is a grandmom she said. In my face going to look like when I. got. A little girl while. She was the Mama told me. She will literally scattered a grandma because you can understand why she had wrinkles interface I'm like, yeah I don't know anything about putting. On grandma and Nay, and pull that shit back up on her how. You you'd have seen that vote. No. You take your skin and you pull it back and you clamp bank in the bay like put ways on tight to run a phases back. In a movie. was. Belgium's death becomes her. Or, they're like movie stars and they had their faces pin back like that. Yeah. Yeah. Seen that before. So when you get I mean and I'm quite sure you can put a towel. On it out. Like. Maybe. There wasn't nice. Maybe you need to cut it. We're GONNA start cutting things because they're not nice when I going to have a show. She well, keep it the. Yeah. We're going to close this. So now i WanNa thank you for listening. Start from top. People this. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of Pat Down Make. Sure. You check out my website at Ms Tech Company dot, com for all of my social media, my tour dates my book make sure you spread the word about my plug as please rate every beep please rate and review a share sake themattallenshow Ms Pat.

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Episode 42: Dont F**k With Pats - Live at Sketchfest Part 1

The Patdown with Ms. Pat

46:46 min | 1 year ago

Episode 42: Dont F**k With Pats - Live at Sketchfest Part 1

"Gotcha your Mama up accommodate. Show first time in Austin Texas get ready. Ibm Cap City Comedy Club in Austin Texas baby favorite orig- fifth through eighth. Let me repeat Cap City Comedy Club. First Time in Austin Texas yes I will be federated food aid. Get your tickets is kept city comedy club Dot Com Rally Rally head North Carolina Baby. I met the new comedy clubs. Irala Alad Improv February thirteenth. Sixty year. Maybe bring you ladies on. Also I can make her laugh. It's Valentines weekend. And don't you dare get another issue issue decayed get her a ticket. See Ms pet something she going appreciate it. Remember Angle Hip hop burn pounds instead of gaining pounds federated. Thirteen through to sixteen. I'm at the Rally Improv. Get your ticket Improv. Dot Com slash Raleigh's. Hey It's playboy Chris. If pat-downs ever made you laugh the join our patriotic and support US get bonus content a t shirt an autographed copy of rabbit. Ms Pats autobiography visit. Ms Pat Comedy Dot Com for the link to the Patriot. And while you're there join our facebook group welcome to another another episode of the PAT down. y'All will live at the sketch. FESS fuck y'all I said right here in where we we're in Indianapolis right now but in San Francisco here in San Francisco so look we recorded this later. I'm just going to be honest with you. They'd break the mystery or we live in San Francisco at the sketch I got damaged. And we're ready and guess what this don't be special this one this pod muggle fucking one stay tuned after the music. That's sears we are. The case is true. Spitting real fast has got to play but these on real crime group spend down for the way he's playing track assigned funds four players. Listen to this. You Ain't no way to beat up Yoyo. They didn't give me much to sit on about now. We didn't have no in front out about a fucking throw Ville SA SF fat bitches. How they're doing some San Fran? Oh Shit what was that water. It looked like a beer. Okay they told you that she liquid quit death mountain water murder for your Thurs.. Shut the fuck up. They might be a sponsor ours by are up here. I what is this. Coal is fucking this place sit I had to put my panty line in the microwave like you. Don't do that everyday. The only way it gets hot both increase up. You're looking like the fucking gaffe out the Barney paper towel. I burning Barney's deport. You know to pay no the brownies. Brian Lama Jag due Out when he's out of work tomorrow near Y'all latest fuck welcome welcome welcome so we hear Ya our early. Who Do our waiter this launch? Today's here nigger now. He won't come Gomer PYLE. Yeah so here's what it's like to have lunch with Ms Pat before the food is brought out it looks way too. Hey she goes you know who you look like Gomer pyle while we all laugh and Indian goes. You know that's not a compliment right. That is a fucking compliment with a star. He's a fucking waiter. When you like to be? When you like somebody to say you look like you could have been a little short dude name? who was sexy? Why are you asking me? I don't know what's that sexy guys named short when they Tom Cruise I never was a million years from overclouded Tom Cruise. Yeah we AH give it up fuck you. I'm Liz with the bad knees. This this leads the way show on no publicity okay. We had a good launch. Though it was good it was good. It was good. How was your flight year horrible? It was really bad. Fuck talk about the flight yeah. It was on Frontier Airlines which means bike in his Scott. I paid half the ticket to we had the pedal and everything to get the fucking Denver and actually it was terrible. Fuck them Dave from Indiana. They never been nowhere so I just told him. The whole. The play was first class then. We sat in the seat which has just plastic with some rubber over. There called lawn chairs tray tables the size of my cell phone. That's because you got good. I actually like this because I could put it all the way down down on Delta where it just kind of goes you've never been on Delta. Still Stop Juryman. How was your flight? I was on the same flight. Nigger you book. Ah You I have more more legroom. You GotTa do what you can do you can or you can fly both of the answers here for seventy five dollars. Both of us was taking. So where were you you were you before you got here. You were somewhere where we haven't seen you in like two weeks. I was in la. I just shot a Bert Kreischer. New Show coming out on Netflix. So I shot an episode of debt. I think it's called the cabin. which is fucking crazy and of course you guys know crises right? Yeah we all know burt. Oh my God this motherfucker is naked in this show inviting me over to this cabin and get their. He's fucking steam coming off his back. All I says a little white I dig when loan nuts and I'm like oh my God we'll fucking TV and he was like give me a hug. I'm like get the fuck walk away from me for him. But how big was it. Oh it was so small is the rest of your disco layaway. So Chris you call she goes you not gonNA. I believe what just happened. I said what happened. Patchy said this Nigga naked. I know what I said was this whiteness. Scared the Dow Couch Shit out of me a white Dick Empires well other than one object in middle school. He paid me Bert. Like the only time I fucked when they pay. How much? But you can't crease. He flew in frontier. You Ain't got no money exactly fifty dollars for a check back all out of cash bit you are so dion was too cheap to check a bag. And he didn't read the fine print so you didn't bring a bag he goes. I didn't know I'm not checking a bag. It just stuffed under wearing my coat. It looked like he gained seventy five pounds and I was like you've been working out. Just have to pay for organ. I have my deodorant grandma toothbrush. Toothpaste my draws actually search. Fuck that I pay ninety dollars house both ways fuck all that. Well you got a down payment under Replacement Mirror for your car. So we'RE GONNA GET DEANNA CAR. One day anybody. The car with anybody got Latorre Card. They're not using toy car. Really drives up at a Barbie car. One of those little battery packs. Well he's not having he actually fit. He's he's Lemme fuck it. You really couldn't ride an electric Lecarr a very progressive. We're a long legs. Are you know I can't write your legs like you're getting a college visit I would. I don't make sense though adult. So what's going on with you guys. I want to hear more about Bert Kreischer. So what were you what is the TV show. Why was he? I don't know what defunct TV show is beyond is unscripted and they never told you what she was doing until you get there and guaranteed to do is when I get there there was like you gotta put it on the wetsuit. I'm light a wet suit. The yes they sit as little one white girl in there to help me put on a fucking wet and it was. She was sweating like a slave when she got through. I think she broke her back on her ear and I was like. Why don't fuck they send you have to put you on these little socks if you've ever been scuba diving or whatever what a fucking you let slip these socks on me and it took forever? 'cause my foot rusty was rusty Westie crusty. I didn't understand rusty food. Yeah so I need fucking lotion there. It was just. It was rough beginning between my legs to make you fit over my teddy and it was squeezing me like a fucking blood pressure. COPD Topsoil Day my next because you have to pull this thing out like bits. I feel like I'm having rough sex. and his mother and it was token a dog shit out of me and it was squeezing my arms and finally we get down to the lake and we supposed to go swimming so they he put me on this little flow and they put my biggest on his float and let me go and I started to float away. And I'm out there screaming. Come get me bit. embarked run out there to get me. We just fucking silly as a grabbed me with the GRA- slipped out for the flow into the fucking water. A him and the guy from other soup trying on a pick me up and we all just fucking fail in a week. Come out y'all have ever had a Wednesday like that McHale just comes and saves you a week. It was it. It was fucking horrible. It was horrible but my flight here was a lot better so I was able to relax and and it was so much bullshitted my fucking week from their pond and so at lunch she goes. My Wig is itching. Dion rightfully pointed out wigs. Each they have no real unless your head in your head in the middle of this restaurant and there's really thinking glue off from the table. While we waited east she moves it back with a receding hairline that white people behind us like. What's I remember? I remember when Robocop took his helmet. That was like you. I don't know shit about black women because you only fuck all white women affect our women just now. We're glue today you. You look back tonight gloat up very nicely. Well thank you you too because once you cut out shit you took that pitch i. I did not know that was you. I like funky on acute on India. Dion got a haircut. He's almost fuck you fuck you know sharing a room together knock occur. Don't get your ass whooped in front of the train broke we. y'All comfort queasy deny he got no chance how you know because I'm fucking queasy laugh when done cuisine Asian babies she is not fucking no Nigga with knows snoop pulse nipples said. I was going to Chinatown because I want to go. I go. That's like taking the gate orders a strip club. I'm not taking you to Chinatown you. E- everything in there. So have you been looking at Netflix. We just watched a documentary call. Don't fuck with case craziest. Easiest she let you know right now. Why people are serious about caring about people but nick of used a cat in a ziplock bag? You going to be investigated to addict. I'm like what was crazy as a world because she got dumped. So I'm like is this. What fat bitches doing they get? Don't start investigating investigating cast fucking murder. There wasn't a way too fucking Canada and I was like bitch. Did you have anything else to do. The eat Ding dongs and track this Nigga who fucking killing cats. I was like white people really fucking love that I watched that documentary. It's helped me three days because I was so fucking busy but and I got on my knees and I prayed prayed and I say Lord if I die please bring me back as a new gang omits no meal where he okay he might become a meal but he ain't GonNa miss that. That was crazy I mean. Of course the man who did it was crazy but I kinda feel like they pushed me to do all that bullshit by giving them so much attention Chris arguing other day I was like I. Don't I think he would have done it anyway. Yeah I don't agree. I think he would've totally done. I think he would have eventually killed somebody. If it wasn't them it would have been somebody else. He wanted to be famous and what. I don't understand what he was making in. Good Money Selling Dick. So Oh yeah. I haven't seen a document. He was making a shit talk because he was gorgeous. And I'm like outed voted. DIG Money. You get what the fuck you up playing cats in zip lock bags for never all this big money so we should explain this. Ah Folks in the audience who haven't seen it. I thought it was a documentary. About how bad ass cats were because he got a lot of cats. I love cats. We know all right you wise and I was watching it with a girl who really likes cats and she looked at me in the first five minutes goes. What the fuck are we watching? It's a serial killer who put some kittens in a bag and vacuums the Arrow and kills the cats then knowing down our in the cabin day for fifteen years. Aw and so this group of people online white people online spend the next like five years tracking the guy who did it. His name was listening Manado day before they figured out who it was though they got that one South African do kill. They've been wrongly named a guy in South Africa and he ended up committing suicide because he was already depressed best and pushed him over the edge. We don't want to talk about that part. We want to talk about chasing this. Look Fun part where we're killing cats. So weird about is how much time they spend they was determined and then he took another advantage saw fed into the fucking snake she was trying to when it was showing video. She was literally crying. And I'm thinking to myself is fucked up that you kill animals especially data way. But I'm saying woman you didn't even know to fucking first of all you know this cat. First of all and second they make a Lotta casts. Looked like that motherfucker. I'm like I mean it's fucked up but to me. It wasn't worth shedding tease out. A nickel there was the one where he strapped the cat to the broom and drowned it yet. Now hat was so poor. Little cats like MIA damn cat me out. He had it what it was. Is that. Ask Me Brian. That cat thought he's about to get a baptism auto back to laugh at this year happened twelve years ago. They're going. That's really start laughing when we talk about when he killed the person Oh so all of this shit lease him killing a real person because he was gay he decided to stop selling Dick. Eight wanted to be chased. This was really fucking gorgeous but he was really crazy so we go over and he gets his little short Asian. Do because I guess if you WANNA practice on killing somebody ha you start with small people. The views have missed. PAT ARE NOT THOSE EXPRESS DOT com commerce club. What are you talking about you? Just tell all serial killers listening to practice on little people no motherfucking. I would say everybody knows we. You start killing people I maybe toddler of committee. Wow did you graduate to short negative. became ever well. I don't think people keough the old people way bigger than them like snatching bitches off the porch now and just running of which all because y'all only dis shit and you won't eat I. Nobody goes snatch my big runoff with me. That's why I keep telling him and stop trying to maintain your fucking birthweight bitch. Aw eight pounds and six. Don't get you fucking kidnapping me. So I'm assuming most killers grab people that they can handle ain't nobody don't grab me because he no. I'm like Nigga. Today is not today. Did Not Wash my push to say what you want. Ah Fuck around and kill yourself. Plus that's why big girls West banks because there's a lot to get them pitches down a bit she got on A. spank you deserve that Pussy. You'd Never Michelle more secure when you're that wet. Well that's more like changing the tie and you never changed. Oh He's a fucking before you can get the tile from putting the notes back on you lose cheese something laughing eh you right now. Don't fuck up then. He did it in my name. I'm just saying I'm GonNa give you an example of a spank. Have you ever been to the bathroom with a factor. Despite that has been there all day trying to get that down a lot of time we piss own a spike trying to get the bitch. Talk to you Ma'am thank you. Thank them send here line is should I ain't line. I mean I'm not fucking low. We'll give me I have. I have no experience with spanked. Yeah that should as spanks tough. I'm telling you overseeing beak bitch come out in the bathroom swayed like he was I I promise you. She just went to the bathroom and a lot of time when you. What a bitch at the four hour just roll it up on your stomach? Say Fuck it I give up especially when you go to Egypt road at Montvale down like a blind under the table. There's one woman in the front who's fucking thing. I say. Thank why everybody else's scared the laugh at fat girl Shit. You shouldn't be laughing. Because they're gonNA kidnap your to give give me Nigga Nicobar need a snickers fat bitches snicker on a pistol bits by in give it up. We'll never get picked up and ran away with. I can tell you that you can't pick my mother fucking underway up by yourself when a dirty all right. I'll do it. What do you mean? Sometimes I hate being the voice of. That's what I'm saying. Is it crust. Is it wet. What what are we talking a little bit of both? Yeah well fuck you under Webby dirty too when you take it out do the same shit you roll it up and put it in fucking dirty clothes amter sometime you recent also your husband. Don't see that Shit. Every guys is staring straight ahead not to look at their date. It is so funny. Yeah so we were talking about the man killing cats and how we listen to. Heavy crusty drove enough of these uncomfortable topics. That's not fucking on comparable. Yogurt girlfriend was going to look like you when you were married to that bitchy looking to never look dirty underwear. Why because I don't want to see things I can't see when you have to put your face down there? You just want to pretend that this is clean all the time. There's not not sweat. What not blood not come not any of it just clean? I know you can't vote. Ah we're doing like that nickel. UK Fault they ran into no real. John does his own treat. You Yellow Chris. You probably delivering the Outer Walls uh-huh CB window Muslim GonNa go inside the House. Ma'am burn inside fucking. Is that okay. You live with us. Live the Moammar Gadhafi. I I think that's a Middle Eastern country. Just stay spend all my time looking in Tunisia. Libya's live so much saying the you push me no livelihood fuck I'm trying to cite majorities and Labia Majora you're my vagina expert. Minorities how you know that man. I don't know John Expire These to these guys are handsome. Look at the two of them with these beard so I went gave her a minute. Hashtag taste subject to come to San Francisco and I look at handsome men. The wrong place to be looking at me I get. I know you get pregnant from the bag. Hey this is it was it was here before was in Atlanta. So you might WanNa come you leave these bitch pregnant but soda the Labia Labia yes. We're explaining to me how to eat pussy. No one knows. That's my daughter's job. I don't know how did he put his eighty six. I've seen my pain is when a dirty I'm not I'm not a catfish. I don't eat eight at the bottom so about killing cats. Let's get back on that. Have you seen as pets but Jonah. It's been missing since Nineteen Pete. Eighty six my sheet on a milk cart. Start aired lawyer. FEELY OMA and you've been a victim of mistaken. Uh Don't you fucking look at me for all these people. Okay Boy George but anyway back to the cats and the team who's talking about a so so young yound to watch. This documentary is GonNa fucking. Will you in like a fucking murder with cookies. I'm telling truly great. It's a great documentary. We WanNA finish. He's talking about it. Yeah you were saying when he baptized the cat so he ended up running off to Paris pairs. Yeah he went the pairs so he starts. It starts off in Montreal right no Toronto Toronto. He carries the cats in Toronto. Goes to Montreal to hide out. That's that's where I believe. He kills the guy the guy and then flees Paris and that's where he he gets caught in Germany and this guy has he's like has eight one hundred thousand hits on Google because he spent so much time this this believe it or not is the part where I knew. This guy was the craziest thing to me. He spent time creating like hundreds of fake profiles. Oh files of Luca Manati lament fan pages and it looked like he was like some sort of Russian singer so I thought wow this famous guys killing people but no he. He was just spending all day promoting. I WANNA be famous. But he didn't have the talent but he was fucking drop dead gorgeous and he had a bag full of money that he got from. Dick's yeah he sold a lot of digs so a lot of dig to make the whole story short he did all of this show. I hate the word for you guys to fuck and Rian a movie basic instinct s with Douglas. Might he even befriended a white dude and look like Michael Douglas. The lawyer yeah and then there was manny. Yeah Yeah managed you fall for the Mandy part because I fell for it and it's easy for you. Ah fucking it's been years since I've seen the fucking movie so I didn't know who the fuck manuals but when I found out there was all about basic instincts. I was like this motherfucker. How the fuck is crazy? I'll watch three hours shit for this man to murder somebody for fucking bases as thank you. Sorry White Bitch so it was a pretty pretty good pretty good chow. y'All should definitely check it out. It's worth the fuck and chase is worth the chase. So we've got. You're going onto Australia pretty soon. I am going to Australia for a Pussy Chris. I thought it'd be helpful and help you promote promote your date. But I'll tell you withdraw my question. No no I withdraw my question before she has been withdrawn. Miss Pat. I'm here for ten days. I'm going to perform helped by the fires over there. Ha No I actually called a day was like we're gonNA cancel these sheet because all of this mobile fuck up my we'd that's what you worried about her fucking wing this national tragedy down. I mean if someone Australia after nine. Eleven called listen. I don't think I can make it my wig. We'll get messed up. I can't do it well. I mean I call it a date so it's still all but I'm going to Australia and I'm going to Hawaii. We need to get to prepare for Australia. We got some Australian Australian Lingo. What who got? I looked up some Australia's slang for you may speak. English is not quite the same as I'm going I'm going I'm GONNA in some terms and we're GONNA try to figure out what you know what it means so you motherfuckers came together. We hear paired we okay so your first term Dow Dundee Crocodile every answer Koalas. Which one are you doing Chris? Barbie I'm going to start easy all right all right. So what's a Barbie. The beach in style for no in Australia. What's a Barbie? The bitterness Alpha Nine Barbie Barbecue put what put another shrimp on the Barbie. You've heard that no. I never heard that she all right. Thank you because black people like the barbecue so now I'm talking about what is fair. Dinkum main fair dinkum `sound like it's fair Arvo. It is fair. That's not what it means. What is it means of? Course I'm telling the truth. Why are you telling? Let me just bullshit. I'M NOT GONNA speak they lined because we want you to fit in so when you go into a big black woman. They have big black women in Australia. None Walla's house and Kangaroos cute and they can recognize the Hambro. Goon like who would. It's she's tried hi to give me cancelled off the stage in front of all these people goon gio illness. No cheap wine a goon of wine So that would be olive garden wise. Yes give me something that goon okay coulda sexy dion have a gender that sound like some Taco me as Mexican food. ooh What's left in your underpants at the challenges which you would you. Would you wish you had in your pay. Ah Dinkum under means the throw up to throw a polk okay. I don't get that type of drunk. Okay go all right. Let's let's go with another easy one thongs half an audience wearing it. I know flipflops. That's what I heard it before. Okay you palm. If I say you pawn what does that mean some Chinese shit. There's somebody named. WHO's a Chinese? Hey you know I'm where you stand up in audience you a Kiki in and dot quiz show that's race. That's somebody named. I know a bit in the back. Name Doc wait show. Hey Boo means you smell. You smell smell okay. All right you might you might order a stubby what does this all white dictate. Yeah I know daddy you looked me square in my eyes and it was so uncool I saw it as you. Bert Kreischer I saw Gallison stubby. Lavar ball's too small beer bottle you get nicked get get one get nicked get naked. Please don't get nicked and I. C K E get nicked sound title. I get naked but I don't know get let me get some of that net. No Go away with that booth it. Oh okay all right. When you're in Australia you might get called a Dag? What a DAG? A funny person. Oh Okay you're definitely only a dag you're GONNA have to okay three daggs fuck you. You're you invisible bitch the small as our. This is something you hurry without straying. She can we talk about. Shit is to Abram Naggar preliminary you DAG Pognon Lean to the point. Yeah boring me with you and Garett might not have a passion for close passionate kiss. PASSIONATE KISS is a passion. A pash. She she she definitely not going to have that. And I'll show you so if I kiss you that would be a passion. Would you feel passion for me. No well then it would not be a Pash. Okay Oh okay well you don't alright go all right. So that's it for us to gather ourselves. Oh yeah we gotta we gotta cut it out for and we'll be right back after the break we're GonNa talk about twelve year olds getting Shafir snowballs. God Damn dark show you guys. It's Valentine's Day is just around. The corner is only right that I tell you by the Biz. Give out there manscaping. Mascot is the best immune me and below the belt growing Komo ladies. Valentine's Day you gotTa Hook it up right. I don't want your Valentine's Day to be ruined this Valentine's Day Miss Pat is looking out for you. Guys keep the hair out to chocolate with mainstay. Ladies you can use the lawn mower to to trim your moustache end your top and bottom. I want your Valentine's Day to be special. And guess what you could pick your own set for your special set of balls the best below to bet grooming. You would ever be able to get for me. I'm talking about manscaping. Perfect package. Three Porno in is the perfect package for your perfect package. 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I'm excited it's compete ally essay. NB DOT COM slash P. A. T. D. O. W. E.. Let him know passage you. 'cause I don't nobody still no packages could you stop your ports. I don't want nobody breaking into your house and nobody interrupts your Valentine's Day baby where you never trying to have fun and somebody out there. Missile Joke Broccoli. You can thank me later. All Right Charlie Beck from the fucking break in uh-huh why you want to talk about a fucking way of yoga shot by WHO's fucked up them about nicotine kill that guy shot God a man so twelve thirteen rolls. They got off the school school bus. It was snowing outside and it was fucking around his do right and so they were snow snowballs at each other right. Then this man drive by and it was like book one snowballs at each other less. Like like this Nigga call so this was like yeah yeah pick the wrong car. And then he pulled his gat out and he shot him. We should have met one guy. Shana John Rich's she aimed at C.. Shot a boy and a girl out there fucking Arou- you heard about it for this fucked up. Aw He was having a bad day. You see you just brought the crowd down. There's here's a peek behind you have anything nice happy to say about black people in about a black hit the lottery. You always want to talk about a Nigga key negus. Oh okay. Is that compensation the races the antiracism. Because there's a lot of white people here when I was getting shot. They shot out. Lee's I'm sorry that the Mashhad keys and I guess he felt like he was threatened with his life. The ice melt in his car and carpet up. Never do shit like that when he was a kid. Like throw rocks off the overpass or fucking no like kids who dumb shit like tissue. And that's why keys. You must find my son. June book to tissue at his friend's house one time Halloween until we got no toilet paper to my neighbor's house up the street and the gap put on our facebook page. Like I don't know who you're doing this but your child fuck around and get shot and I found. I was my son June. We're GONNA time. He's really fucking fat. And I'm like Jim Bob you fat. You don't catch all all the bullets white keys and do some real shifts like we was when I was coming up. We never ever fucking Di Dum. She out thing was to run into convenience store. Grab some twelve packs and run out the fucking door twelve packs. A what beer nick. uh-huh how old were you. We was like twelve thirteen. I my baby daddy drink because you know I had to buy their own niggle. Ah So he didn't have no money so he was like yeah. I'll run into store and get some Sikhs Peixe so we running at my literally ran into graphs and six packs. Well we walked in style and we looked around and picking up to look suspicious in the liquor store. When you're fucking awesome? I never looked suspicious. I always I'm no offer that never got so you. Would you would grabbed a beer and a convenience. Though you know look gas station. You'll never go to look story you can go to. The gas station grabbed to be around the fuck about career. That's we D for phone and then we will go to the park and fucking have sakes. That's what you do when you're now he was married he no fucking hotel money so we had to do it in a graveyard at the park. Fucker you are in force free in the beer soaking in the faces you never. You never had sex in a car before. That's the most romantic shit. It's like I could ever have sex in the front. So you get out to booster chair and everything is wrong with you. Know Mother Fucker. He had one ole as noval deceit was really really broke and he kept the lack of to buy in the backseat to hold it for seat up so when he wanted to fuck just mood. Fucking Mood Athena. Fuck it'd be like a letdown. He moved the woods so we could give you the worst out very romantic. You're right fog up and she and you like you know like you could imagine like you're on a beach shit Outta so. I had to take my son. Well I don't know maybe that's just me. That's what we you you were at the beach. I didn't know what a fucking beach was back. Nope we didn't have hot water until I got my own apartment when you finally went to the beach. What was the was it a trip? I went to go meet my daddy's side of the family and we went to Jacksonville and I've never told this story so my my aunt. My main is becoming over all the time. A who really fucking cook she's mean as I t.. Glory I love. What you mean is for some? She loves me but she will. Cut Your fucking head so my dad was like look I. It was my dedicate my life when I was like twenty years old and he just wanted his playing while he ran away and she. I was looking dude. I don't give a fuck with my going on. We could just start over. He's a well I want. I want you to beat your grandma and I'm like I gotTA grandmom. He's like yeah she by the die. So let's go back to you. Wait a ring. The puck I was was waiting for one. We just cannot do a half day. Oh I kinda got the normal. When I met my husband I was like let's go? You'll meet my grandma because she had to get on the patio so I pretty much. That's what is because she die real quick and So I go and he was like I got assist in Jacksonville. And I'm like I've got an aunt that ain't crazy. 'cause I read on my mom's side was crazy so we drove to Jacksonville to meet my ship and she took us to the beach and I. I'm walking on the beach. That's the first time I've been the beach and I walk out there. I'll fucking water and out at fucking saltwater got in my mouth and I run Michael to my and I was like who puts out you crazy. Just the ocean. I'm my what fucking else. They put one in the fucking out. They put so in the ocean so that was my first experience with the ocean. That should drive me to fuck out to. How old were you? The old were you. That was before I met my husband so I think I was like eighteen. Yeah I didn't know what it was in an email. Yeah go out of time now. You Know Shit. I do some different sheets other than just a barbecue and get the fighting birthday on Ha upgraded. A little bit bites at the airport was fucking airport that we talked about last week on the pod. What she was fucking me? Your thank y'all so much for tuning into another episode of the PAT down. Sure you check out my website at Miss Tech company DOT COM for all of my social media. My tour dates my book. Make sure you spread the word about my podcast please. Rate area veep please. Rate A review Ashir Seca so much ALABI MS.

Miss Pat Australia Chris Bert Kreischer San Francisco murder dion Netflix Austin Texas DOT COM US facebook Michael Douglas Tom Cruise Dick Gomer PYLE Simplisafe Joe Man
Ms. Pat - Joke's On You

expediTIously with Tip "T.I." Harris

51:29 min | 1 year ago

Ms. Pat - Joke's On You

"Thank you for listening to this. podcast one production available on Apple podcasts. And podcast one when confederate flag plan. All I see the Cleveland Browns Fan. Somebody light to continue to lose. That is an interesting point. The civil war is the only war I've ever seen where we continue to sell them. That we damn well we as a country idea story so I wanted to be a support. Mom I didn't want to be seen in mom like my mom was so we live in Riverdale Georgia early ninety and we've gone his field trip and literally. It was to a confederate cemetery. Let tell you all about these fucking confederate. So I don't know the covert Sodas. I'm ready to fucking. It is a generally buried. Here I WANNA fuck is generally might've dumb ass can't bear to do Suheil. I'm a diverse individuals out here about like what is he. A family man is a triple late. I'm all of it all of it. Be Eacho a kiss. Showgirl took my king. Easy Andy and I show up lead. A march on the weekend is all real real in this expedition. I am too yes sir. So the following experiences Outta tits these conversations. The stations are stories express of this podcast meant to be an expression of purpose and truth. This show properly entitled expeditiously is a free exchange of ideas and opinions no judgment no preconceived belief in no fear. Open your mind up and ask follow so your courage to share your thousand as any question as long always done with respect we believe it is through love and respect for others that we will have an opportunity to change the world. Speak Truth to power. Do that Sheila Sheila now this expedition. I'm your home's not. Ti hairs guess for today is someone who is you know very of the culture. You know what I'm saying and we have similar backgrounds. She's a comedian and author a podcast. The an actress who's taking raw real in your face comedy to the next level. She has an amazing story I I guess one of a part of this story of hers is at the age of fifteen with two kids. She was selling crack on the streets of Atlanta and in nineteen years of age with two toddlers new husband. Her sister who is struggling with addiction handed her full more kids. And all of these stories made up a book. Look she put into a book car rabbit. The autobiography of Miss Pat and she was nominated for an image award for that book. She's a wife a mother and most importantly she fund hair so everybody please give you attention to the guest of expeditiously today. The talented miss pack worth going on it. Hey how you doing man. I'm chilling sheets. I gotta take my favorite rap man PC. But I've never okay you you win using an ice key why would not bootleg man appreciate. Every time I see I help you watch Titas right. I deserve deservingly so yes no tell us about like miss like where do you draw the inspiration for for for your comedy because you can't make kind of shoot up no I just. I'd life life. I mean we found a similar background grew counting same neighborhood. Refugees of the wound drugs. Yes I was there when I'm a little bit older than you so I was there when I hit the black community when early eighty. Yeah because I had my daughter in eighty eighty six by the time eighty seven I was selling crack. That's right so people would be. Were still woman up to eighty three eighty five eighty seats full blown. I mean people making fucking minded people still thought it was just a cool part of drug and they thought it was like we didn't realize it is. Yeah so they realize one thing. I always tell people crank tenth. The price will put out so I could tell my mom they was giving black people and hundred dollars hold uncut chicken legs downtown new. I was like wait. What an again? We would look informed with too but I mean I think the best part about it is we endure we overcame and now we get to make money off of our stories. Yeah you know what I'm saying. Develop a store. I ended up having two. Two kids. my head. I have fourteen out another kid. Fifteen by air may oh man. He was marijuana. Why did he stay married a now? We're well mayor for a little while but when I met him yet one child first time I left me here like twenty two key so I ended up staying with him for ten years and I sold drugs. He sold drones. He ended up shooting me in another. Shot you yeah he shopping. Okay yeah I was crazy. Oh my momma tell my Mama told me one of the most dangerous. We'll make a man shoot a woman cheating. I would say the push it but I don't think I don't know any back of the head zoo. God Dang Oh seven cause remember seven courts. Read their own. I I used to. I used to live in seven calls when it was really nice back in the day I was cheating and he shot me. He said he didn't mean to shoot me. So you hit me with a pistol in the went off and in Nagoya arena. Thirty eight is fucking. had a hatch hatch triggered. You ain't even get too much you know we're we're just GONNA win off and it just cracked. My skull cracked you school year so I ended up taking his ended up going back to the hospital to pick him up finally so the next time he he learned from what they put a new cast on his leg so I beeped him. Okay let him know. I'm coming to get his mother. I went back and I picked them up and take him home. How long did that take? What the new K.? A couple of hours you know has low greenhouse believes she it man I mean he lived to the store store are we. Don't tell she flew so you actually ended up getting married. Nineteen yes it nineteen. I got married. I kid I was thinking of the street. I mean I've been in the street ever since I was fourteen. You know how they have a life. You must live to be sick of the streets by the time you nineteen o our saying I mean I went to Charles. This remember this everybody the answer to ten dollars so I was partying. I was fucking industries. I had two kids by the time I was nineteen. I was like I'm over this year. I got keys to raise. Plus I went to Jail Alpha selling Craig okay. I'm going to Jefferson and crack. I did a year and I was like dude and did a year at nineteen. I did a year at eighteen. You remember when they changed. The law in Georgia used to go to jail when he was seventeen or eighteen. Seventeen you. My birthday was in April officer beard. He was on a narcotic and scored What Atlanta police say? I'M GONNA wait till you turn eighteen. I'm a lucky seventeen. I'm a lucky motherfucking because if I lock you up now you're gonNA go to juvenile. I attorney in April turn. Seventeen five days later I was in jail. I gotTA descript traffic in charge and so I ended up doing a year behind before to crack law. That will I miss that. I miss that cut over for Carrillo when they took your rights to vote. Lose my bryce devote right. Well you know in Georgia if you e- even if you have a felony you serve time you can still You can still reregister after do you got done all your time. Got Off probation. Not every state is like that but Georgios Yeah and before you actually like plead guilty and been sentenced. If you've been locked up you you gotta change. But you ain't been sentenced yet or you ain't been found guilty or innocent. You can still vote within that time as well. I don't think it was like they make when I went to jail. Because I was like snatching Etchingham over rice snatching all. You'll convict a fairly so I remember missing it by one year cut off and I ended up doing a year and then getting out and not house like law and I think the black man with back teeth. A black T.. Can read has is what I believe and so I ended ended up Munin. Nice guy just got out the military. And he wasn't with their Hulu Sheila Street sheet and I was like. How difficult was it for you to Make that adjustment. Oh fuck from selling crack to trying to be a house mom very fucking difficult. 'cause I got eighth grade education so I had had to go and get a job out. Gave me when I took him my sister keys. Were Section Eight. So I'm about to Rupe Adel Georgia and I can't get a fucking jail because I'm a convicted Felon So it was really really rough like I went to school to be a medical system I got my Gd. And I still get no because felonies. And I'll tell you. This is the only time in my the life that I ever thought about committing suicide would I never thought about killing his wars bullshit edge. It was because I did. All of this sheet turned in my life around. You know get out of St to raise. My key is right as a society. Keep pushing my face. You Ain't shit. You go to advocate months to draw his blood. aww I do blow for cheaper. I wouldn't shop owners to get my life together and then I look up and Bam. They say Society say no. You don't WanNa step you. But they'll accept they own. They own one hundred mistakes when you when you when you're not fucking black and I always always told my kids. I said look with the Shit I've been through in life. You our never let you become a convicted felon. I said you can fuck your critical million times but you fuck up your criminal background history. They're going to judge you dirty in your face so I always stayed on especially I have two sons. I always stayed on my keys. I said don't you ever ever give the opportunity to put their sheet over your fucking Hainburg. So that's one of the things. I really work hard to keep my kids becoming convicted felon asking dropouts very right. I think man I think all of this was was it was instituted. So it is meant to demoralize. Yeah you know what I'm saying is meant to make you give up for whatever reason and I was so many times I wanted to give up but then you know I. I'm such a hustle from the streets. I mean this is way before before I ever was a drug dealer group in fucking O r right place over there. And the Cato June my grenade was a bootleg so I I all I saw in my whole fucking life was hustling verse. So that's all I knew. And I I mean my Greenwich told me how to get knocked down. Get back up when I got married and I wanted to live my husband thought I could have. Oh Oh you know beal house mama go out the right way you cover them selling dope forging checks megan the Chitaun among go work at McDonalds. You fucking crazy. I got my check. Ah to allow for a whole week. I in tennis shoes artist. Second Gear Lama merited laymen's motherfucker. Who Do the right thing? Water Going Gang Bang then I had to say comrades so fucking boring Doing right so that. We're more focused on taking naps. Send a middle of the day. When it's old is he is an animal's doing right? I mean Oh tertiary do drive is ah well no comment. Yeah I mean so it also at a very young age you had your own two children and and then your your your sister live. You're responsible for her chewed four keys. must've my sister. Was Craig really bad and I ended up getting customer. Her for not is just before twenty one six year with a man who had Nokia Guide he are no forget out of saint come. They don't go get them fucking keys. I gotta go get my nieces. They don't split they're gonNA put them in. They'RE GONNA put in foster home and I remember how I came up how the my life form and every time I see a kid I see Ming and I was like look. This is my family. This is optimal for Medicaid. These kids together so I went and got him. I came back shoot was and I said I can't shoot between you and my fucking nieces nephews. My nieces you gotta understand you know. He comes from a Christian family. It was sixteen now. They had a fucking Dan. I didn't come from their lives and I'm like do I is nothing I can do. I gotTA help these keen and so I was like well all I can tell you got created department in your name my pain and I think that what made instill fuck up you created. Because I can't pay you fucking deal out of citizen. We're room ashes. I guess man they say a good run beat a bad stay in today so maybe you know to stay one is bad eh now. Twenty some years later he complained he never fucking complying. I got my niece. My niece fourteen. Now Downright I went and got my niece children. Why did you start today kill cheaper? You missed Carla now for you. Keep your keys sir. I have my niece keys now. I went and got her five years ago from Atlanta. 'cause she was home one of the bay was two weeks old. Picking her up bringing her two the miles and it's beach ran off. Left me with the folks here but Mochi for marketing it. Yes hey wait a minute was it was it was I have to I right to it. It's up to four now so for as twelve in olive raised now right. I'm this is it but I'm done. I'm good. I got to be done. I'm I'm in my forties. I can't do this shit anymore. You know once you become a grandmom. I'm already grandma I'm good. I got face time you motherfucker. Click by hang the best part about being a grand mamma. Now the key to come over you gotTa Begum Apple Pie. You know you just face fuck you hang up this name in Shakespeare Shakespeare too busy you raise enough. Thank you done. You'll you'll you've paid your debt to society twice. Hey what's going on man. Let's take a pause discussion to talk about their shops. Never shop is a new online shopping site with fashionable brands. You need for every moment in your life from women me as fashion to home decor beauty and wellness and they get your purchase to you fast with free one day shipping air free return with no membership fee. He and no minimum purchase required. Which means you can even by Perr socks with free one day shipping just to see how you like it now you learned at various shops expert retain Hansel legs and everything idle for more than three hundred brands all over the world? So there's no chance to counties or fake goods get fashioned brands like like Vince. Levi's and deer would then you can even get home to call brands like bollandbranch stalled and smeg and beauty and grooming brands like blind bar brawl all in one place with the premium chiappa experience. You deserve shot fair shot for the fastest free shipping that deal and when my Promo code new customers can take fifteen percent off after I purchased. Try that just go to shop dot com and use my code. CIP that's very shop V. E. R. S. H. O. P. Dot that code would be called. CIP for fifteen percent off your first purchase exclusions. Apply that. Go here shot get you drip together. I always tell people. I can't can't dwell on sheet. I didn't have control over it. Didn't I mean it was. Life is my life was handed to me. And that's what I had. I realized my family was in a cycle cycle Does she happened to me. Happen to my mom up until my grandmom. Only thing different in me is I broke the fucking cycle so I look at it like this. I don't dwell on sheet. That's exactly how I feel. I mean I think that Coming up my uncle went to prison. you know everybody. Everybody around me was pretty much George Villas in you know what I'm saying just in the gain I went to prison but after me. None of my cousins dozens. None of you know nobody in my family after me is made it to prison so I feel like I have broken the cycle. I think I took time for them. Yeah and that's what what you WANNA do. Somebody's gotTa step in and say. Hey we got we got we can do better people. We can do better what I've learned from dealing with my family. Everybody don't won't change my family. Some of them get mad. When I wrote that book? They lose fucking beyond saying that was telling the Jackson storm like motherfucker. Louis poll book. You should be happy for motherfucking. They ready to sue. I'm like for what Y'all smoke. Tell me where I'm lying lying on my mom who the fuck on allowing my poor mom was poisoned. Mother fucking everything in that in a one hundred and ten percent true will yeah. You can't really argue with the truth. No you can't. That's why I never got so I'm like who I'm lying or even my kids follow. I'M GONNA sue you for what bitch you behind on your child. When she started three years I I can get my money right back Jiffy Lube telling you fucked up my archer Nazi this type of true raw honesty? This shit. Don't come every day now. It doesn't you know what I'm saying. Ogle who got the nets to speak the truth it to me is one of society's jewels and that's what I try to do a comic. Now take all that. She used to cause me pain to everything eh pain. No that was one hundred ticketed wrestling match. All of this in ended eighty nine. I was living over there by the bluff ten thousand allegations about front row wrestling ticky. How about popcorn's in drank jacket? Chicken League. Yeah that's what I'm thinking. I'm going to be better jagged chicken legs but I mean I'll take everything I've been through and I I try to tell people through my comedy. It's not about how you start. It's about how you finish and I try to find the funny in everything. They used to call me pain because when you can laugh at what caused you pain. I truly believe you got controlling. I got control of it. I could be cranked winding about. What's what what the situation I was born in Make money from it. I saw a book from fucking TV. Show coming out. Who knew from it and this is the silver lining signing of the crash era? Yeah we invested atime efforts energy resources into An industry or a vice that it taught families took away freedom and it can destroy the morale of community however gave us our first little piece of insight take on the structure of real business. Yeah you know what I'm saying. You learn manufacturing distribution who get you know what I'm saying I mean the science But that is I. Think the city of land like that was our sub sedation. You know what I'm saying when you get I guess I I hear I heard my luther king talking about how back in his day. You know if a formal of a white guy wanted to be a farm. There were all kinds of grants assistance for him and For nigger wanted to be a former yet she get together the best way you can and so I think crack Kinda answered that call how for Emmy. Why folks do it all the time? They'll tell you store that was a gentleman back in the twenties and it was during the time of prohibition That means that liquor was illegal. I know a probation probably talked to the dumber focus with no back teeth. I tell you. I don't know whatever may be on instagram Google. So so so. This gentleman said he'd have a great time selling liquor in times of prohibition where he was right he got so good at it that he made himself a millionaire and He made himself enough money to send his kids to find this Ivy League schools from elementary up to college and This gentleman who used illegal means to change the trajectory of his children His son became the president this Robert Kennedy's Day. JFK YEAH JFK okay. Yeah we're both of them. Both of them was the senate president. Yeah Yeah so they did. It started out. In prohibition how you build up Your Bank roll them to the Ivy League schools and stuff and he became the president president. So that means it. Don't matter how bad you start out. Yeah you know what I'm saying. What is the Endgame Long Ball? Yeah I mean me so if you sell it today and ten twenty years later you turn it into a best selling book and a TV show on Hulu and you know what I'm saying and Hilarious hilarious gut wrenching. Stand up comedy. I think that's you know that is that is a positive it up again as a negative every I truly truly believe it because I was times I wanted to fall down and I just kept telling genuine. Let you do it with you know you will. Do you know I never ever wanted to do comedy. Never wanted to do. I always just. I was always shit talk. I consider myself a shit talk into the whale is and I tried to run the scheme on a case workers. Who say you should really look into doing standup? What did the K.? Work Grant you. She did she. She gave me my food stamps. Okay Yeah but she said I really is something about you. You should go try stand up. I'll be John John. Aw fucking WANNA go west young wrestle my free rent my Youtube S.. Just kill when fucked around voted for Bill Clinton and he created the Welfare Federal Work Program. Go and fuck and get my ged and get a job. And that started it. And I was like. I can't do this job. She'd out the forging checks and selling dope there and I just did an open mic and it went from there. What was your strategy like going into do comedy for the first time? It's an open. My Union never did it before. Did you write jokes down China. I went and watched the uptown. Comedy Corner Watch for like six months every hour go up there and just sit in the back and I was like I do my very first story I ever thought was was my brother and my brother was a fat cat burglar. He's breaking A. He's a break in houses and one time I was with him. I broken a house with him him and the lady all white sending Sydney in looking at the TV. He's like free bitch. FBI fucking VCR. Don't know the very first story I ever told. Yeah affect us. We can steal Yoshi ended up doing like fifteen years years one time before stealing a VCR novel. St Stole fucking a very specific rain got a bookie on his hand for years and finally they just gave them off a fifteen year And he and he did fifteen years out in begging at a day. But that's a whole different score. You see how bad things are for us. Community is getting better. I I look at your instagram. I see how much you care about the west end and all area where we grow and I was like I. I love you for that. Thank you You really push for for the community to stay original more. Thank you and I don't even live but I'll be cheering. You on all the way from Indiana man. I appreciate the Indiana. He moved to Yana twelve years ago. 'cause my husband worked at General Motors. Endorse me right okay. This just reminded for everybody to go to expeditiously slit dot com to get all of your expeditiously merch. And if you don't know how to spell it look it up. MOTHERFUCKER is the information age expeditiously just live dot com. You Ain't got to make TEAC capital in the dog. Get your merge right now man because it is available and I can tell you With a clear conscience and a pure heart you buy it you wear it. All right. Man knows enough capital today and Asiatic aaliyah expedition. Think you showing over here expedition. I I don't like in high like compared I live in is very small small town raising you potato. Yeah raising you say. Maybe they got carrot salad. I don't eat they food but I will tell you this Bible thumping in trump loving gun toters. Where shoot working you do now? I got good neighbors. I like I tell you about some. I don't get offended when I say a confederate flag because when I confederate flag all I see is a Cleveland Brown Fan. Somebody's like to continue to lose. Amen that is an interesting point. The civil war is the only the war I've ever seen where we continue to sell them not damsel damn well we as a country. You know what I'm saying. We we ain't got got in the school and they tout this shit and these mother fuckers Robert E. Leonardo motherfuckers detests. Say They were heroes. Rose test you had to put he wrote. Yes you did A motherfucker window. He wrote for me he wasn't they were fighting against my freedom but they don't tell you when I first moved to Riverdale. I tell you story so I wanted to be a support of mom. I didn't want to be a sheet of mom like my mom was We lived in Riverdale Georgia in the early nineties and we go on a field trip and literally tip. It was to a confederate cemetery. What I had no fucking clue with the conflict number? I'm a bitch I'm from the street. I don't talk about no school here and we had this we at the cemetery they tell you all about these fucking confederate soldiers to convert associate. All I know is I'm ready to fucking the job. Ah One of the keys was Robert e Barrett here. And I'm life. No he say he is the general. The General Robert generally buried you. You WanNa fuck is generally and I'm like this here. You can't bear to do Suheil I thought he would. It's fucking generally i. I never thought the fuck are my told. My husband wanted his confidence. What the fuck why would they tell you to confer semi what what is that? And I caught a school. I was like oh you fuckers crazy. Yeah see that's the thing right. I think us as you know as a community of of black people we. We can't continue to expect to advance. While we let oppresses educate I choose the true true. Yeah I mean you what you would never find. You will never find A Jewish family sending their child to to a school that post Hitler as a hero. You never do that. They'll never do never happen. Yeah I mean I think that you know for us to continue to evolve and be as progressive as we need to be to advance us. Yeah I think that's he's my key man. What did you learn in school? Monette the net. That's mostly bullshit. But it's you know it's the the bare minimum of bullshit that you have to learn well for kids at house in my my I remember my niece come. How and she was like the pilgrim gay? I mean she was like it was the pilgrims gave the land no the native American gay the peer grounded. And so my daughter WHO's fucking big and black kids and she let me let me talk to. You Ain't nobody gay white people motherfucking out. He black he's the book and they beat us and I'm like Gariana. You can't teach fee key and all the fucking history moment when I go to school with all these wikileaks they going to. We look inside way. I mean I think you should applaud her. She do. She turned them racist. Say Look Alonzo do is history but you cannot judge everybody what happened. No you came in the fucking pairs or if you do that. We know by Russia's babies the U. S. was wrong with us we all need to fucking each other ZSA I. That's what I believe. That's how you get rid of fun. Little mix babies can chain were. Yeah because they're gonNA be happening at White Grenada. Say Nigga at the Seoul loan visiting fall in love with the software you know just kid- black people sheet south to don't be fucking at me and my instagram talking about. I'll fucking hair shit. The fuck up man. I think all of these things like it's a testament to what you stand for. Thank you how you represent strong independent women who started you know from from more humble means in turn that struggle into into progress and advancement. I mean I think it's a phenomenal story. Thank you ED. TV Show Hulu. Yes and have the right here with me back to follow focused that interesting. Listen deeply analyze my fucking interviews but these derided his name is Jordan Cooper Twenty four now twenty four. I'm the project is with lead down your run. How company and it's been? It's been in progress for three years now and Lee brought him on a year ago. And Twenty. Something you'll like. He never gonNA fucking get my voice and he came in fucking sleigh. Don't yes that's dope. Man Has Been Kinda translate. Translate her voice into your writing. It's been amazing. We I think we have the same sense of humor. And that's what that's what helps it. I was talking about her like whenever she came to see one of my place in New York and immediately after whereas she told me she said Nikki right like a big lead woman. I I tell us make use of the old black woman came as a black man. So it's been it's been. Her stories are amazing. As you already know so like turning that into television but not only television but try try my best to take that old sitcom film bring her newness which is really I say. It's like if Archie bunker was a black woman and that's what so. What is the show of bow? Now yes so basically. It's about Miss Pat and her family moving Indianapolis move in for a million fish neighborhood. Yeah fish out of water story And the Basically just all the shit that they deal with as a family In this all white neighborhood things that come up that We haven't haven't really seen in other television was calling the police. Will you go and Johal House. I don't have always always joined by my fucking house and I had to tell like bitch you go get your father white neighbors Doodad fucking home. They stop asking me what about machine. I had to wait. You know what I'm saying. Police Book It'd be became friends with the police out there right because I think you were they it was it was out of you being scared. Not what you wanted them to know your pear being very small town you know. We don't have a police. He's also I mean I mean you let me tell you about where living okay okay. I'm going to ICU. Go when I'm in a very small town out by the airport so so is no black. Police officers only fucking one Mexican so but everybody knows who I am today. I got I got pulled over all the fucking time you know. They were like I don't know if it was pulling me because I was black because I was new they would just fucking curies but mainly because I was thinking Oh it was twenty thirty miles an hour on a mainstream. They was fucking ten years behind. I'm like what the fuck it. He's white twin. Man was twenty five miles or twenty miles. I was just too slow at getting traffic tickets But you know the community to me of wrapped around me and like I say that I'll views are totally different. But I get respect from both. I think we respect each other. My the Dennis is a huge trump supporter. Yeah man to battle. Yeah and I like my my I mean is okay and I tell you I know you support what kind of speaks to you. Know your standards. Would you feel worse if if they were giving money to the trump campaign probably do. Yeah about corporations. Yeah but you know if you support somebody and they invite you to a fundraiser. I'm sure you'll go and you're probably write him a check. So I mean I. I feel more about Corporations corporations yeah I mean individuals individuals. You know what I'm saying everybody's entitled to they own opinion however this corporation right here I'm I'm actually like we're giving you the money that you feel like you take my money and handed over to them which is is unsettling? You know. I mean I've I've left companies for that too. I tell you it's high sheriff though Shit See bears his game as close. Yeah but also like I got on my falcon shoes. Del TACO. I hope tipped Emma Gucci was groups in Glasgow. Look man if only she went down. I put my prescription in Ema Komo before I came so I went over my head when you stop when they go for Gucci. I got my and me take a picture and I you know I took. The picture took the picture I step back and looked at him. I say man you got to raise their pitch beget raised up as you said what do you mean I say because you got like kind of like saying I'm all right with this and at the time I wasn't now unique with the fuck. You WanNa Unaware Man Real we all in March we forget so fucking quickey like black people. I'm Tom fucking margin but in thinking about March you know I the thing that I see is if a Nigga walk up to you. uh-huh put his finger in your face and call you a punk motherfucker. You ready to knock down. You know what I'm saying temporarily or permanently so so why you keep saying energy corporation that put a finger facing algae Koon and they pretty much then like wh why. Why now now are you so forgiving? We so easy to forget man. Your Dad Take that same Nicholas stuck his hand in his faith and Shaquille Him and and they won't do anything to kill the corporations. They don't want a lot of people. Don't pay attention when corporations duty to do these things about anybody like ignorance is now how you learned what I learned right. So I ask for a Ninety Day Ninety Day Powell's on on the brand and Just to affect the bottom line because I knew when they post when they posted their quarterly earnings the parent brand and we succeeded. You know saying it took a huge deal and people start fucking with him like I remember right after the announcement after we we went online and said Yo yes and fuck with these people. I think that was a an award show coming up but it was an emotionally wider. Show I think it may have been the Oscars the Golden Globes like like the white people were saying. Now we fucking enough. I don't WanNa tell style this. No we don't want to wear that night. So that's when Guzzi star called. They was in the they should boost Dan the bt awards came around every nigger in all every time. What I'm saying so any 'cause I attribute this one needs a couple of ladies you get Ryan Man we straight mcelhinney about you being got defa Dan and all these NBA players when this shit from head to toe was never? Dan spoke going into. Yeah man you he worked for them. How can you say you wanted to get to the bottom of the bias? The bias man or by if to pay me some money and I'm like yeah these people because they're good people you use if you have you have you collect weren't for slumdog together. You say you're going to listen to the complaints of the other people. That's that's I think that's well I'll people fall short sometime. We don't stick together. We do we gotta do better as a community a community of people. I mean we gotta do you better young because we lost our leaders because I felt like we were together at one point and then once we lost why the gray loss oh befo correct before crack like I feel like I'm wondering what happened because I remember being at a black lives matter protests and like it was like a group of like maybe like four hundred people and then some people are GonNa sing this song some people in bad singing this some people on the saddest thing and it's like we all seem the same fuck so and then we get to a certain part of the street and everybody's like walking and we're talking and we're seeing guide guy at the front this is not a peaceful protests is not a piece I said let me turn my ass around you. Mean is not a peaceful protest. Anyone smoke doc. SMOKE ITEMIZE RABBLE CHURCH SPRING UP and got on the train. Yeah I really think I really think it has a lot to do because of how we were brought up and our position in society black people we will never really ran nothing but a Kona. So everybody won't they idea to be the idea that everyone follows so someone else has a good idea or you know a purposeful movement. They like who can he is saying is now now now. I got my own idea. This is what we're going to do and I think Danish yeah man and that's what's wrong with it. I mean it's like back in the day mullet King could lead you go one nearby to win in the way. Don't get me wrong. Goes back into dating life money. Talk about him until he was a cycling. And that's what made me mad about the black community. They we don't live from up until they die was naming La. He's GonNa kill it so I never heard of in my life when actually today he got killed. I thought they was talking about the only single nipsy Russell Salsa what's the big deal this man been day so I started to Google. This do then I read out his great shitty. I'm like black people who what fuck we got a way to Iggy Keel to put somebody like this. Do upon appeals. Why I didn't know about it? And I live in in Indiana. Listen to rap me but if you do something good in the community something positive black people. Why do we have to wait to gun down like a dog to even discuss somebody who was as great as Nipsy? It's a fucking shine and never heard his name before -til never heard his name now. One single I'm not into hip-hop were y'all got to remember I'm forty something years I don't get out there like that but if somebody doing something I know the fuck sharp near I. I know the fucking autumn attorney run when black votes get shot down by the police. I am what a fuck. We're not talking about positive black people in our community so we can spray convert and lift those types of black people black people I want to hear about. I don't instagram shape shaking up motherfucking. As this over time and a place favorite the good black leaders are we doing the positives she. I think they just don't got the spotlight. Yeah well see the thing is right if you if you truly passionate insincere about the work you do or not standing up on a soapbox telling everybody that you're doing so you just kind of leading by example and and let the word spread that as it does. I think that was I think. That's that's one reason why you know new wooden wooden as Known as he was at the his past and because he just when no like he went like here the broadcast everything he had going. No No I'll those phenomenal. You know what I'm saying. She's delivers phenomena But when he passed it was everywhere everywhere. You know what I'm saying. It was everywhere. And that's what made people go research fund. I no clue and I'm being on his right knee Sam stupid. I'm you don't fucking heard of nipsy before when I started getting I have a daughter of Herod of nipsy started to reese I was like wow I mean is I wanNA appreciate people why they're here and I'll tell you some I've been I grew up in air will route. I started fucking call. What is it Kumo D.? And all of those people I tell another one appreciate took to pay to park. I never fucking listen to you serious. I I'm telling you is Q.. By listening to you Whitney us the first of all to pot one OUTTA got kicked ass won't lobos it shows. I like Taverny. She's now started listening as a Disney was. Smarter intelligent fucking genius and he was talking about Happening today it's like. He was warning police Asia. He was just telling us out. Nobody really listen. I know I wasn't listening. That's all I bump. Nasr is to Palm Right Mike. God Damn to listen twenty years ago I think so people may be good for I mean maybe too good for the generation today in. Yeah I think to park came along in the sixties he would have been right though we Malcolm Martin and the Black Panthers We're and his mom was a black pound came from a family of Black Panthers so I think that that energy eighty. It just weren't being received in the nineties. You notice a air in the ninety day but I thought there was no problem and I'm cool too. So smart. They had the white they had. They had the welfare and food stamps. Man Man White people. I lead them people alone so you find out later on this year it was all systematic playing with your neighborhood fucking forever control. They didn't talk about you. Know they didn't talk about shit like that. They fucking rearranged voting for youthful soda can make sure forever control your people but I mean you Turkey League when you get older you you realize how God damn just been sneaking look at the west end in the C- motherfucking white people have to baby daddy. You the fucking fucking out my memories planting flowers this shit. Get happy you know. And we don't like gentrification this is the thing that's kind of all right so when we were living in the WHO First thing we wanted to do the problem I way to fix everything in our community has always been make enough money and leave and never looked back. That's right right and we move into a white name looking at her sideways shitty cakes doubt but we not afraid when we move of into that neighborhood but will we see them moving to add neighbor. Who We afraid this is like Oh shit? It's like everybody's afraid of the unknown. You know what I'm saying like when we are the new people they're afraid of US and when they're the new people we tend to be afraid of them don't understand the juxtaposition of dead I think it's I think maybe it's attached to the fact that the neighborhood like your memories like you said your memory like that. Maybe Daddy. That's going I wanNA white person moves in and starbucks comes up. He's gone you lose in when you thought you had so I feel like maybe when white people won't move into white neighborhoods. They feel like Oh there goes the neighborhood. Oh hosts you. Yeah I mean I guess you could say now for for bank it and you know what I'm saying. It's it devastated. I mean and to see a mother fucker. Walk in a little. God Damn Teacup Yorkie. He's you know what I'm saying down the street when my saying street Myeloma Punch you get kin- it is weird but jack. Can't we fix up our own ship. Why we need them to come from plant flowers? Well all we need an a brain it. We don't support each supply. People think when you support each other is free well Nigga it ain't free and my audience is mostly why when I tell black black people come see me. I literally told my brother H.. Girlfriend to come see me. She ticket our panel third. I'll see you as a bit. You pay thirty one all be meeting and finally to loan new shit. You've been battleship from the old. Ask me so I told her I said don't come bitch because guess whip the abuse me you see my joke three. Don't help me pay my fucking bills when my free has got busy I'd be like this. What can I buy from working? I do from the you know I. Didn't you realize how bootleg hurt the fucking defunct music industry. Until I started become a comedian bootleg mash it bootleg Muni. They go on to the Muslim movie. Go do we're GONNA put some food. And now we got paid about his mother fucking movie. That's what we and that's how you support report each other but we always complain. We lose now community. Why can't we plan on all fucking flour walk it we make a better school for our own goddamn keen? We really didn't lose it. We'll we'll we gave it away. Yeah pretty much. We gave it away for pennies. We gave it away and and I think the the the takeaway we use any term. You leave something behind in someone else fans value in it. You can't get mad at someone else. Seeing potential learn something. You didn't see that's pretty much my marriage you hit the nail on and whatever the fuck the saying that's pretty much my man. He took that trash and turn it into trees. And you do what I'm saying. Yes here expeditiously. We have a word take a week and the word of the week usually is fit to suit the discussion okay. This is the word that you have inspired for the US. Well she don't watch every nigger now. I I never know. That's a that's a black baby. Nine the bachelor by going drop the knowledgeable never heard no Goddamn to back. That's a black like ninety three. Okay so the bachelor is definition. Is Extreme indulgence in bodily pleasures in especially sexual pleasure as you guys say. A Marietta was look as insane is oh ah so. The batch is mainly focusing. No behavior involved six drugs alcohol CETERA. The things that are often considered immoral. So I'm using in the Senate just in case you go and say the word that I'm a name my next grandbaby the botchy the last night I woke up with a terrible hangover after a crazy night of drunken debauchery. Man will appreciate you. You ask you so much for having me and you have your own podcast as well I do is called the pat down with Ms pay and you can find me on social media. COMEDIAN MS a high in any way. Ms Pat also got a show coming out on Hulu and my website is mispaid comedy dot Com. That's right and and Winston do you have like a tour that you're going on. We could see you live. Yes on my on my my my website. I'm I can't wait to see you in person Eh. Just kicking their stage. It's GonNa be fun to watch white people laugh at this Joe Tiki think in Alabama ticket as you ticket to your concert from my. I can't wait a minute now. You see I go tell. She ain't going to Tokyo luggage and do so now. I want to thank you guys for joining us here. And thank you for listening and Abby your host tip. Ti Harris Deceased Listening to expeditiously. Thank you so very much. Thanks for listening to expeditiously need leap T._I.. P Don't forget to subscribe Apple podcasts. And podcast one and rate and review please. Expeditiously is produced engineered and edited by Casey Morris.

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Episode 89: Therapy

The Patdown with Ms. Pat

56:00 min | 2 months ago

Episode 89: Therapy

"Hey it's white. Boy chris if the pat-downs ever made you laugh. Then join our patriotic and support us get bonus content a t shirt or an autograph copy of rabbit. Ms pats autobiography visit. Ms pat comedy dot com for the link to the patriot. And while you're there join our facebook group to episode pat down. We have some real shit therapy church. Mom crazy people down at trump t- we'll talk about all kinds of she nacionales diseases borderline borderline nazir's and what else borderline narcissist and sociopath so she passed so social security check all them niggers crazy. Stay tuned to music. Baby's laugh at you talk real fat time play that same lines policies zebulon real crime equal phone. You put on. It's been you know back to earth. Everything full plans to listener alpha nuggets. This tuck beat literally talking about different What is it call. Threes helicopter parents filtered kids. Or or you're talking about dishes condition mental health mental health. And you know. We're talking to our producer. Kate in She's you do iran russia. oh she was saying that you know how you call them. Pk pasok he is and how she was all sheltered in. And she learned of these conditions which is borderline narcissism. Sociopaths history history like all that stuff like all the personality disorders. Yeah and and she's like her mom will do shit like triple going upstairs. Mostly like you would think it is playing. But his wasn't really playing this this okay. It's okay to do a one tax but you doing two three times a day. Bet you crazy. It's mind games to create control control. Like what what happens in a lot of households and like especially i think in suburban white households is control games mind games. It's very sheltered. We're going to. We're gonna keep you in a bubble and then there's also like this cruelty and this narcissism and it's like so you get out into the world and you're totally not prepared for the world you end up kidnapping and you have all your parents bad thinking patterns and then no and then mental health is stigmatized. So it's like i was in. I'm glad we're talking about this. Because i was in a store and other day and i was. I was getting some done with ipad and i mean i'm in now one of the guys worked as a fan. He listen to podcasts. Hey dialing but N n walk this couple in i'll say they. They like carol baskin. That's what a so. Maybe it shows me months hand. He's saying they older companies. My daughter says time for me to get off her account. And i'm lookin like folk. What he ovals on daughter account so they said annonay started talking. Y'all and the. I was like well. You can get your own account and He's but we have to run. A credit always locked out critical. We'll warm about it. If you know what the fuck wrong with these folks then did they went on to say may say well with the plan you know with. At and t. plants go. You can get a show who and this couple literally say. What is this. Oh no. We watch the hallmark channel. That's all we watched annan cartoon right and i was like. Oh my god deep. People don't want to believe that the world is real so they watch hallmark channel was she is perfect. And if you threaten like we had an instance on a show that i work on where we had a guest and they mentioned diversity is a good thing and said the word white man and this is the white older man that said it. You wouldn't believe the crying about it. I mean it was like you had invaded the safe space and had basically. How dare you confront me with black people in this safe bubble that i've created for myself and like that's the whole think boomer parents white parents because that's what i know like there has been an effort to keep themselves protected from everything their kids protected from everything and it's just created this fragility in people that makes them totally ill-equipped to talk about the real issues in those worlds. Like me at the go to join the patriot on goal is to me and those first few episodes that we talk about race. Because it's like and we there in the patriot. Because i didn't want them in the public fee because i wasn't ready for all that you know what i mean. We know niggly not we know yet but it's like that for jilani of like to be pledge it know be racist for the rest of your life only for cucumbers i saw but it starts it starts show thing would cucumber like goto. Don't you don't have any. They don't wait when they froze peak peak. I'm point ed what you what you saw at. At and t. Store is my friends parents. Yea i was actually really shocked. And i'm listening. I was like they really care. Baskin without the motherfucker route tiles. Or whatever folks she was over there raise we still green on so there was like a. We all watched much and cartoon we like bugs. Bunny i said there's an in what they big fans daughter that look like. She shook land coin. Disease corvette fetish had awesome crop shoes and and they will. They will tilting tuna right like there was a bridge. Might that lead up on the other side. And i was big beads. That what i'm saying to myself. And i say deeply also discussed. I'll just listening to their conversation. How disconnected they were from reality was going on in the world. They said he say well he said well you can get hbo. Oh no no no. No no who. We not watching nothing like that. I'm like do you know how much fucking you missing you. Oh hey we didn't grow up in that kind of like she grew up at a p as a pk. So i'm sure she wasn't allowed to watch any nickelodeon but like you can watch nickelodeon nickelodeon my home. Schooled cut k with the funky behind a campfire. You want to be on a camera you come. You'll be okay cova do you. My my hall has got it anyway. My home school cousin came over one time and we showed her south park and she was like shaking and tear because she was so afraid of getting caught by my aunt and uncle. And i used to get in trouble for china-watch fucking living color because my mom. My mom wanted to be first lady at a church. Big fucking tom. So like we weren't allowed to watch that shit either but we didn't have it to the extreme that y'all did like maas. My husband was like that he grew up in vary church family. And and you know you know my church. We would to eat at hunch. My husband grow. They went to school the school they went to church. Hungry every step sunday. Yeah they went to church sunday. It's the worst. Yeah my like. Let's take a break plug this in. And then we'll talk to kate. Okay yeah we're gonna take a break squeeze it was like i'm ready to sit down. Don't stop can't let run support for this. Podcast comes from progressive. Saving money on your car. Insurance is easy with progressive. It's an average savings of seven hundred ninety six dollars for customers who switch and save in fact. Customers can qualify for an average of six discounts on their auto policy with progressive including discounts. Just for starting a quote online or owning multiple vehicles get your quote online and progressive dot com and see how much you could be saving national average car insurance savings by new customer survey who save with progressive twenty nineteen discounts vary and are not available in all states and situations. So this is all you hear behind the camera. Breathing problems food. We're talking about preaches. And she was telling me which i thought was very interesting. She grew up with go. Kate store the whole story are wishes that cool I did grow up closer. I did grow up as a pastor's kid and kind of what you're just mentioning was like not even being allowed to watch nickelodeon saying the. Hbo was like i was for dirty people right. And i think that's definitely sent me in the basement of everybody except for pets us real sakes newhouse fucking jesus. Doing dig is delicious. I was getting it early. Bird catches the worms and crabs. And everything else go keep going now i mean. Hbo's pretty much ninety percent of what i watch. So i've come a long way. You'd like my cousin. You were kept in bubble wrap. Yeah those pretty much. What i was like like radio. Disney's what. I was allowed to listen to for a really long time. So like to this day when i hear. What's that foggy song. The one that really made famous about london blue london bridge that that song it says. Oh shit at the beginning but i grew up just hearing. Oh snap all the time right recently. And i was like wow. It sounds so much better. If you say shit they just robbed you around me. Yeah of everything. Yeah god the whole sheet for some sure. That's not like damn furger did a remix. I love my mom. But like i was thirty three before i finally told my mom not to talk to be a certain way and like that. Disobeying my mother by talking back to her at thirty three was like the most liberating thing because you were not talked to do that now. Like there was an anxiety you were to respect authority at all costs you to obey the government to bay police officers. Obey your parents. Obey your teachers like that constant like anxiety around authority figures. I think is that is why. There's such disconnect between the cultures. Yeah because y'all why don't we just do what the cops fuck because it's not the same. Yeah that's a huge huge issue right that no one ever wants to address is how authority figures in in suburban white. Households are good like you. See it on your facebook with the back. The blue people like you're not to talk to your parents certainly like. I think that creates a certain level of anxiety like kate. And i've talked about this privately like you or i born where super responsible. We don't stand up for ourselves because you are not to stand up for yourself like you've listened to me like be mothered by miss pat right because we were not. I'm not like when i was going. I felt so bad in that last episode. When i was going back at ms pat in my mind. I'm going man. Did i hurt her feelings. I really. I'm not mother motherfucking. Mama i know. But that's not my real mama bitch if you hit me in his own but that's the script that goes on in our heads that's right full strip bank. He's talking make the but nowadays. Just you know keep going. Keep telling you this story. But i mean you stored. Don't fuck you mama. I mean yes. It was a lot of your therapy. To then i know you mentioned therapy changed my life. A lot of it is learning to take up your own space. A lot of what you're saying they're like you just. You don't feel like you're allowed to the way i grew up at least like it was like. Keep your thoughts yourself. You don't matter. Yep yep you're not you're not your doormat and that's the best way to be is a doormat. Because that's the polite thing to do if you're not to stand up for yourself That's how image podcast. Every time we have ever recorded that i haven't left this podcast and thought man. I was really mean to them. I should really like apologize. Oh no what then. I go fuck that apologized. He's he's really came alone way. 'cause i i used to say why are you. So fidgety was was fuck wrong with you. And i mean i've seen the growth thing you just how. How confidence in yourself. India you know how you should. It's for yourself. You will in our in our brains. It's not acceptable it's disrespectful. It's this obedient like you know. Kate was telling her story off the air. Like it's hard to break that script because you've just been so ingrained with it and it's kind of like it at least in my therapy part of what i learned. Sometimes the voice doesn't go away completely like you're saying like when you leave you're still thinking like oh shit was i to mean but like the fact that you are able to still like go back at her means like there is still part of your brain that like is learning how to override it that that the next thought is but patent dion still love me and they still invite me back and like they they tell me if there's something wrong i'll think did i say something braces. Did i think. Say something offensive. And i go diaz the first person that will tell me and if they don't tell you then there's constant work to kind of get constant. Worry yeah people. i don't i didn't have that growing. We you know we can tell bay boy was like yow sheets and mama listen to for can be being and ride the white horse and our toys to do to her. Mom what did he say. Does your mom do heroin to. My mom actually was fucking white man but it was hair. But it's a lot of stuff like this. You know when you've been when you've been abused or people have control you. Because i like my fear is that i really don't ever talk about is never thinking i'm good enough. Yeah as me fucking insane. But she says i go man. I know exactly how she feels. I i'm never good enough and every opportunity to get Do our desert his like whole so bizarre. Have you heard about imposter syndrome. So that's like a lot of people in entertainment talk about it too specifically but it's it's that constant feeling of like you are good enough if like you got an opportunity but you're saying when you get it you're still like am i good enough for this opportunity. Is it a fluke. That i got it like do i deserve it. Miss pats syndrome. Miss pat will call me for the first year of this podcast and go. Do you think they like it. Do you think it's catching on. We have tens of thousands of downloads a week and people up by the hundreds or messaging saying how much they love it like. Listen to that. Like what what you have a hard time with. Which i do too. I'm sure kate those to like anytime. You have proven experience proven like worth. You have proven talent in something. You've you've shown up like you sold out your two theaters. Almost like you have a tv show like listen to that. Which still is i think his is. I think when you've been abused you learn how to deal with with the abuse. It never that stuff. Never go away. I still hear my voice when i get something saying bitch. You ain't she. Yup and and then i start doubt myself like you know like when when even when i saw the tv show. I mean i. I think i'm funny but i'm never going to think and i think that's come from abuse. I'm never gonna think. I'm as good as people think i am right. You know like when when you got people say you've famous. I said no. I'm just gonna go to lows with no brown and is like i make up. His skews is so. I don't i don't another thing i can't do and i think he's from the abuse can't take on titles yeah Like today was on zone and they was like i'm producing an enjoyable like i'm creating producer and everybody's doing their big titles and i just miss paired and they don't joe was like i can't i can't i can't do it because then i feel like i think i can't do it because i think my voice is gonna come in my head and tell me i ain't she so as long as i downplay like i haven't did anything good to hear that voice. Yeah there's nothing to live up to. There's nothing to live up to. Like if i think i know. I think that's why i do it. I never i never put myself up there. Because dan i started hearing my mom. You know you ain't shit you know like dick dick. My first kid's father you ain't she here in the negative and people then. I started questioning myself am. I'm good enough. You know like eight. Does this happen to where you hear the negative voices from the people that you love but people you don't actually know they build you up but that doesn't matter as much. Yeah i like like. I used to always say when i got a parking up i started. Get publicity. what was you motherfucker. Eight when i needed you the most know my father got boom. Yeah i mean. I get that a lot i mean and i deal with it. I think at deal with it by playing down and since i started therapy stuff. I'm starting to realize a lot of things like how like how voices comeback and how how to control never goes away. You know the things that you don't forget that people to you. Yeah and then then typically when you're getting really angry and lashing out it's typically. I started learning. That means. i'm hearing my mom in that person or my dad in that person. And so if i'm a rationally angry it's because they're triggering me using all the fears. I had because of my mom and my dad's voice that you project onto them. That's the person that punished you. Yes like. I have a hard time taking compliments. So somebody messages me and says you're really funny. I wanna make a joke about that and put that complement down. Instead of what i've learned to do now is just thank you. I appreciate that you may need effort to make me feel good if this were three four or five years ago before therapy like i would have tried to make a joke or i'm not this or i'm not that like there's a rejection of any compliment and an internalisation of every criticism you now. I've learned took like go. See not every criticism as equal and every compliment is deeply. It's not bullshit like they're not lying to me in on. I see other people too. I see that new sometimes as pat where. It's like you get a compliment. And they're they're not telling the truth I don't know how old are meeting. And that's almost every. I don't really. I don't really like talking on facebook. Dot com read coming and i just stroll now like whatever a you know i. It's crazy 'cause i it just as my career started to. Bill is when. I really started to notice this. Yeah and even before. I got the therapy when i was shooting show i started to say i remember leaving a show. One time mean dion was a and his older black man came out and i was telling these stories on stage in laughing about and he was like if you get therapy. I'm telling you it really works. As ali said to be like a goal and know what his big as his so. I'm like Now no therapy. But it's going to make you the greatest comedian of your generation if you go to therapy because all asset and bad scripts that are limiting you that are holding you back are all going to go away and it does mean you lose like being able to talk about it or like any of that. Yeah i used to have this real big fear of like really succeeding. Like i will go. I remember i tell you when it happened. When i knew i was an issue when i did the roast battle when we went to chicago and i killed and i did not want to win in canada i d. I didn't even really try if you look. I never seen it but my husband say wolves. What was wrong with you. I was scared to win. I was literally scared to win and it wasn't because reform may was forever. Resume was funny but i know i coulda hung him. I didn't even try. I'll i wanted to do was it was a big stage for me. I didn't want to go to in the first place. Only i thought i was just going to get knocked out in chicago and i ended up making it. She killed a dude core. Yeah so. I didn't wanna put me against resume. I didn't even try. I really didn't even try. And so because i didn't want it. I didn't want to be on that stage with him. So much of therapy in like the last five years of my life. Because i went twice a week for two years and then once a week for two more years it's like every missed opportunity or every failure is because i held myself back because i was afraid. Like therapy helps you get rid of those blocks like you get over. That fear helps you to not see. Everybody is the same person. Like i can still fall back into that stuff when i'm stressed but like you know it helps you just i. It's if you're dude especially go to therapy because you know your your relationship if your relationship sucks. It's because you're not in therapy sir. It's not your girlfriend or wife all it's your fault because you're fucked up. Guaranteed so weird like therapy is actual medicine for your emotional state of be whole yet. Yeah we look at it that profession as weak and fuck it's and stigmatized but it literally just being able to talk to a professional about what's going on inside of you and how you feel that could save so many people if we just got over the oh i don't wanna look a certain way and it's like my you already. Yeah we we already see you. So what if. That's the worst. Just imagine how much better you're going to be afterward. It literally like. I don't know about you. But like i gave all the excuses of now. That's week i'm not going. I'm guys don't do that like but when you went having to the ability to tell somebody who legally couldn't tell anybody anything like you could tell them anything. It trained me to have those conversations. Because all of a sudden i felt safe having those conversations and i got a lot less anxiety and afraid about stuff because i learned how to do it with a safe person. That couldn't tell anybody my deepest darkest secrets which oh by the way. She'd heard a hundred times a week. Yeah see their professional so they know how to get out of you. You're afraid to release so if they'll just have you start talking. Yeah right and before you know it you're telling all the shit that has makes you cry or makes you afraid but they do it in a way that if one you feel safe you don't feel judged. Yeah they definitely don't judge and then they they're helping you go so it's like you're not by yourself in that trauma the at least that's how it was for me. When i was sixteen. I went from sixteen. Seventeen the whole school year. I actually get to get out of class Every thursday to go for like forty minutes to talk to this. She literally saved my life. How did you because i think the starting. It's the hardest part like. How'd you get hooked up with them all. The school saw that. I was having some behavioral issues so it was mandated for me and for the first session. I was like. I'm not gonna talk to you. And she just sat there with me. She's like you will. And i was like i'm not. I'm i'm glad i'm out of class. But she got me to start talking. She's you know i. it wasn't even about traumatic issues. Like what do you like. What don't you like stuff like that. And she made me feel comfortable and then we got into the home stuff. How i was dealing with my parents. And they're they're divorcing. It was just like before. I knew i was. I was thinking about things that i knew that i didn't know i knew. Yeah i mean. I know you witnessed trauma but you don't recognize it as trauma in the moment and then they bring it up to you like off. That's that's exactly. Why felt like that. We were yeah we she walked me through it and like she sh- we got to my the the night my dad left and if i talk about it's still now i will start crying like has that is just right on the surface but we got to that after like six months and i just started bawling like a like a literally went through the same emotions ahead but i walked out of there feeling like so light you and all i did was just go to my insurance website. Find a provider. I knew i liked talking to women. Better and i knew i wanted somebody that i wouldn't fox so i'd like chose somebody who is older and we had like the best conversations legit. I have a friend goes. Don't hire a therapist. You wanna fuck. Because i fired my therapist and all i want for who you are. I wanted to fuck about there. But i was old enough and you don't like the person go to another therapist. You'll connect with somebody eventually. It's sometimes it takes people to how did you get. How did you get into therapy. Well it's a great. I went to college in really started realizing even more. I knew when. I left for college. That i didn't exactly love my life at home Then i became a lot more aware of it once. I was away and so Started kind of clashing with my parents. Mainly my mom at the time But i pretty much kinda started figuring out with read it. Actually that it sounded like she was a narcissist though. I stumbled upon that myself and started learning that no contact is pretty much. Your only option when you're dealing with someone who's not gonna hear you like is not going to be able to hear you so i hadn't even been in therapy quite yet and i told her i pretty much decided to go. No contact with her doubt. Blew everything up and so the interesting thing is My mom found the therapist for our family to start going to and she got diagnosed and didn't like her diagnosis and in like hearing the things that we were saying and so she quit. And i actually stayed on without therapists for about six years and yeah i would. I was a mess. I would not be where i am now. If it weren't for therapy do you talk. Now do you montauk now. We don't know it's been seven years. I think since. I've talked to my mom really. Yeah she just doesn't believe the diagnosis which is a really common thing with borderlines in cest doesn't doesn't believe any of the diagnoses and says i'm lying about the things that happened. I actually actually the last time. Sure pretty much. Last time i got a text from her. I think this is the last one i got. I started blogging about it. A little bit. Just because it's like what i think is really important. Even when you're able to say like you even don't always feel good enough. I think a lot of people that's helpful for a lot of people because a lot of people probably like miss patent. That feels that way like you likes. Go to hobby lobby right so i. I've always felt hours. Respect people who can talk about it too. And i know how helpful it is here. Someone else's story so i started kind of blogging about what was happening in the last time. My mom texted me. She said she was going to sue me. If i didn't take down of course they hate when you start talking about him. Yeah so i was the last like donald trump. Last time. I talked to her. I think i know there is a christmas. She reached out. And i was like. I'm like just because it's the holidays and you're lonely and you don't have anyone like she doesn't get to have pictures with their kids and post them on facebook and be like i'm such a great person. I pretty much sold that. I was like just because you wanna look good and it's the holidays doesn't mean you're talking. Do you think that there is any ability to reconcile. I don't know no not unless there is a big change. She's never apologized and she still doesn't think she did anything wrong. So i just can't wrap my head around spending time with someone like that. Be able to heal unless that apology comes. Because for the longest time can heal relations. There has to be a conscience. You gotta forgive you can live. And that's what i had to do because you know my mama had died and i can get an apology from her and my ex. You know. I've told that store. Hundred time when i you know when i thought he was going to apologize. So you can heal by forgiving them and that you will release their same amount of pressure off you as christie when he cried or you d you cried and me just full you to lille. I know you can't heal that relationship until your because that's what happened between me and my mom for the longest time like i didn't talk to her like do you say to me other than we address the issue. That where i left you at until that is reconciled. We don't have anything to talk about. And it took a couple years like three or four years where i had no contact outside of holidays and the whole family got together but i was in no hurry to talk to her. You know when. I first met you and i knew year mother issues because of the way he talked to women and the way he used to try to talk she eight this story. Yeah but not told him. I say i say you have said you. Don't respect your mother. Because not. Because i'm older than him by a few years but i saw the way he would talk like we've phrase. We've been friends since i moved here. But the way he talked. And i was like nigga you know you wanna break man being raised by mom and they respect they mom. They have respectful black women day in their minds. We're queens and it wasn't because he dated a bunch of white women. I told him this from day. One now. work on your coping skills am online. I told this day. No no no no. I m lowering. I told you that's a you have a mama issues. I told him that a long time ago. i sure. Did i need you to tell me that. I mean that is not. I didn't know that about you. But i can tell from the way you were at with me. Speak to me. I don't let anybody speak to me the way you used to speak to me including my mother because she used to try to talk to me like that. Yeah that was part of the therapy. That i went to like. Don't let anybody talk to you. that way. Then was also a person. When i first met him like he didn't want you to be like i'm blind and i tell you what the fuck am i tell you fuck up. Like when i first met him he was like he thought he was like the fun he was like most comes when we first started coming. You know we get a few good sex. We think we share. And i was trying to tell him certain things and he will fight back. And i'm like nigga y you'll find back i know fuck. I'm talking about right here. But he over the years. He has gotten a lot better like he wouldn't listen. When i for it was always this with us as you learn how to talk to me is. It wasn't what you were saying. It was how you were saying is why wasn't receiving. I can tell you from from your dynamic. Let me help change the subject. Let me have to talk gonna break out and fight you. It's not a bad subject. We also are but i'm saying like watching youtube and you dion stand up for yourself and say i'm not going to accept less than how i'm supposed to be treated. You has helped me and like it's been a great example. Because and you saying i'm safe you can say it to me. You can say it to my face when you're dealing with narcissistic people you have to have a spine of iron like you have to have the ran into when you do you have you have you have you just. I mean i mean you couldn't be in your industry and not you. You beat both of yours up you never. You never started. Where kate and i started. Or maybe dion. You don't feel you're worthy of having like the year you just allowed to be talked to that way. You don't have that same thing where it's like when you're dealing with a narcissistic person like our mom. It's like you've got you've got to cut it off because classic example is when you beat the boy up in the office and every was just standing there. I mean he's he's he is definitely i'll he was. He's definitely live his azov gardner. Okay yeah yeah no one hundred percent. Yes oh. I remember when i first met this dude. When i first moved here you know like he was a comedian. You know he was wondering why they thought was she and he told me he was a professional golf instructor and so he said i fly down and i train people like tiger woods. And i'm like were saying to myself. And i'm like oh he must be reach and he walked around would that white boy swag with decay. Act like he looked like he has some money. I'd never seen him get out of a car so i never knew what he drove. Anyway but then. I learned he was just a lying. Gambling broke piece of shit. You know what's amazing about those people as they can be successful for a period of time they can be president but eventually like they overstay their welcome and everybody figures out exactly who they are. The emperor can only have no close for so zack. And then it's like what is going on now closely right. Yeah and often people actually did know they just. Yeah and that's another thing that like just speak up is the second you speak up all those people like. I had a situation with a friend where i finally was like. I think this guy is no good. And i had like half a dozen people go. Hey i didn't know how to tell you this around waiting for you to figure it out but you need to know like it's once you kind of go. Hey that person is that that yes. That's exactly you know that's where great friendships like. What what you to have where you can like to be more honest with each other and that's been great for me to watch. I love your facebook. I mean he be going in. And maybe ooh look at chris. Oh he's the plainfield people be at his age. Eighty five back like get them. Chris and then. I always come on chris you know know. What's hilarious is over this year. Doing that it's been my libertarian. People that don't like me as much. It's been my high school friends that i didn't think let me be go here. Exactly right. you'd say what. I like it because i think a lot of them. And like cam i know she listens. We grew up and we listened to this show. They listen to the show and the go man. I think in the same like you. You're articulating our ticketing. What a lot of suburban white people wanna know. Wanna talk about. They just need to do. They needed a model. And either my. Yeah but we all got issues every and we all got issues. It's all about just you know fighting them demons and you know. Try to come around. I'm not perfect. I mean i like. I like doing podcast because it let people know that i'm human talking about fart jokes. I want to talk about real. She i i told my husband about a month ago. I think i'm scared to see. i think. I think there's a problem that i have and once i started talking to the To the are the therapies lady. She she made me realize what the problem was. Yeah the fear that i have. You know i'll fight ya as but when it come to light. Like i like i have. I don't have i. Don't call them freeze. i people. That's famous that i to and like the what i started down my said. Why would they want to talk to me. You know what they want. Wanna be free right. Like i'm laying in bed one night and i can take this. I have to camp. And i'm like who the fuck is as a straw down and it's fucking joel mchale. Fuck you won't be this. What my mind. What makes me push everybody away. Say yeah and i just started talking to me it'll be. It'll really funny conversation. But i'm glad i was able to realize that you know 'cause i've i've missed opportunities from being scared like they do you find yourself. Unconsciously causing chaos to avoid success in yup have been times. When i was like they've been they've been times when i didn't want to do something i mean. I've talked to you one hundred times by the. I don't wanna do that. And like i don't know i just don't want to do that because i know i know. Go out and do well. And then i started doubt myself like i remember when i did the fifteen minute nick. Twenty minute netflix expansion. The lady from netflix me losing canada as she say ms pack coming here. And i'm like i'm saying to myself. I know folks she is you little fuck around common department. Nathalie decrees each person than me. On a little thing. They try to keep me down. What fuck. This bitch focused socks. You don't talk bitch and so i go in. I talked to. She's a we want to give you a twenty minute. Netflix special and i was like my mindset. For what bitch thank you. Did you tell rich as she looked at me. 'cause i guess you like i was like oh okay terrain. She's a uso okay. I'm going back over here. Desk at this day of fear in me and i remember when i was in. La shoot nepali. Getting ready for that and I was talking to join. I've told his story. Before i was talking to jordan. He fucking literally practicing all day for the pilot. And i mean deva was wearing our answers out and i will go stabbed two or three o'clock in the morning. He different spots in la and he's like. Why are you doing this. Because it wasn't because i didn't know those jokes. Tv jokes you burn sheet. Never use it a game. I knew jokes. But i wanted to follow out of my mouth like it. All went together like butter. And that's something jordan the writer my show could understand and he's like but you already know this already funny you to. I had to overcompensate. Because i was so scared i was going fail right so which is so frustrating. I know sitting next to her. And it's like. I don't get jealous of you but i do get frustrated because you think you're not like you don't see where everybody else like an eye. That frustrates me. Because i want you to be able to see that even if it's just for like pay you are so good at what you do like you. It's one it's natural like if if you never took comedy class like lear fucking your first time. That lady told you to go. You need to go. do stand up. Comedy is so easy for you to elicit laughter from people. And it's like you're so good at it without even trying. And then i watch you actually try and it's just like oh she's so good and then like man. I didn't like that. And i'm like what are you talking about task that you have you have a level of experience that like you should just trust yourself more than you do. I'm working on it. And i think a lot of that. Come from you know child. Just from what. I what i've been through in life and and it's like my you know my family say i'm a person that's never satisfied. I say you should never get satisfied. And you'll have anything to work towards when you start to think. I always say in this business. Never suck your own dicky's to winning people willing to suck it for you. You know you see people. That's not even that good and economic like their famous. Then when you when you start to act like that then to mean you don't have any you don't you're not working. Yeah oh you wanna do somebody to give you something. So i think that's why i always try to continue to work in. I don't see this stuff. Other people see as his famous people like. Why are you talk to these people. Like fucking people. They people hobby lobby for me. I like targeted. Because they're real fucking people. I enjoy actually think deals my elite force of karen's no but you know like some people come in my inbox and they talk him. If i'm not busy i talked. Beckoning uson talk beckenham. Like i'd rather talk to them. That it talk to you. Mother fuckers with fucking problems there. I'm not talking to you. Mother fuckers. I wanna talk to the real people bitch. What kind of do you saw habra today. Yeah to use. And i'm just thinking this but you tell me if this is right or not. Do you. tend to look at your career or your work as i'm other talented or not talented. As opposed to. I've worked a nut like exercise for me was really important because it learned. I never thought. I could lose weight until i exercised i was like oh you just do this over and over and over and you can do whatever you wanna do like do you look at creative work is something that you've done enough reps to be really good or do you view it as i might just talented because god blessed me or not because you have put in the work to be great at everything you do and you don't trust that work. Yeah i mean i. I know him tally. I mean i know comedy comes easy for me but i still feel like i'm not there yet. I know i'm not there yet. I'm not i got. I got a lot of work to do. Yeah know like. Because i dreamed of being somebody like richard pry. That's what i look up to. And you know i just. I don't think i'm there. I know i'm not dare year our love to be but I don't think i ever see myself like everybody else seem. You'll you'll be great because you'll never. It'll never be good enough as long as you don't anybody else up you'll be out later is going up. Listen to the line coach. you'll be fine. Yeah so. I mean and i. I don't know if i do that too. Humble to make keep myself humble. My husband said he said i do that. So it's like not in reality you know like if i'm in a store and you recognize me. Our run from your. Oh fuck out of here. Okay let me get the fuck outta here. You know I don't know. I just think i do at at at i think i'm just a humble talked to anybody. I mean you know i. That's what makes you humble not denying your talent like you have the ability to be the next richard. Pryor like you know you have a gift that other people don't so your hard work plus your talent means you're not gonna fail at whatever you put your mind to well probably not but i probably get famous and then behind in the house i am i am i gonna be beyond say rich and calling us. Are you near the north side. I got a table on facebook. Watch that i need you to get. I probably go to add a house mega but it was. I don't know you know. Just how i work you know and lucy. I don't. I don't know how i'm to react once all of this. She don't mean to eventually pop. I remember talking to the show running. You know aids like are you ready for this. I said well. I'm just ready to go to work and get my paycheck like everybody else. You don't was about to happen to you said a note nigger but i know how much they say. They're gonna pay me. You and i had a conversation two years ago when we started talking about the podcast bob and tom. We had almost this exact same conversation. You have no idea. Because i mean maybe you don't let yourself take those benchmarks and reflect on how how far you've grown like we talk a lot about how far i've come and this and that on the show but like take the benchmarks of that conversation two years ago where your career was where you're like. I was helping you shoot an audition that you were kind of hoping to get you have your own. Tv show now. You know what i mean like. Think about all the tapping in the two years. And we're having the same conversation about like and you could be super famous. You're really good at this. You're great and you're like we'll see we'll see i take stock and where you're at. I think you're you're in a great position i am. I mean i got a lot of stuff that we work. you know. i am in a great position. If it pops he can he can be life changing island-based i'm nice and not thinking about it and i ex my husband i said. Do you realize all life is about to change. include change as i. Because i'm really this fucking job. He's awesome plant them and you can think of rich and they'd be like well. Fuck you doing here. Why phone tv among those ages terrible idea get the fuck away from me. Even like he's saying we talk on the park and they'd be walking coming next day talking sheet because he listed the puck. He'll fuck you talking about fuck. Are you talking about when tuesdays. Every tuesday morning they ride into the park as wins the more and they come in and talk and she damning that his work call them hands. Yeah so he's saying This plan so you know. I mean i think that's what i'm working towards the of him getting retired so we can move and that's what famous when say. Hey do i got it. Let's go home. let's move back home. You know i'm just with my family. You know i can tell you this. I don't know what the future holds for the tv show. But i know it won't be your fault if it don't go the way you wanted to go. You work super super hard. You you hire the right people you put in the effort and you. You're really fucking funny. Hey you've you've let me you know you give me a little bit of a view on the inside and from what i've seen like the only way this show doesn't work is if somehow the marketing team doesn't do enough promotion for it because it's it's fucking funny well. The crack babies are not going to let that happen but dion. Is there any job you could do that. You'd stay up till two in the morning like she's up to waking up. I literally get up every morning. Read the strips and go over my punch him and and off joe everybody else's in la do you fuck in sleep. I'm just like that. That's that's the type of person. I i would think about each line on the strip is that oh my god this joe go right down all my and the great part about it because i have. Tom seem as you know what i'm saying. And he saying all you need to do is the water in his face and fucking wait is white face. He's fucking good all you need to do. I mean a cup of coffee and is white facing. He's fucking ready to go. He's like roh rana. Rent there by my side whitman. And i was like. Oh my god. I found somebody who just is fucking a workaholic. Like i am. But i. I literally get up every morning with my husband going into office and by the time. La woke up. Hey tick fuck. I'm reduce already change and it'll be mornings i know. Dmv pushing me over to know. Don't answer this bitch. Five o'clock in the morning nigger wake up. I gotta tell you jokes. His life is working and so he eventually called back. I think it's the work ethic for me. I like i like. I like bury myself in the work at the i mean i. Don't i know the famous coming. But i don't give a fuck about that like when we went to end up lacey pe- image award. My book was nominated queasy. Try everything to give me. The walked orient karp. I said i of obvious issues are segmented. Nobody knows fuck. I am third about. I don't wanna walk. No rea- cop. I just to go eat chicken. Them that i've reserved. Sit down and get the fuck outta. He'll see but that annoys me. And i'll tell you why you're always on dion to get a nicer shirt images everything. Perception is important in all this and then you know that because you're telling him that advice walking the red carpet is how you get more promotion for your tv. Show your podcast. You're sets like all that's importantly you hate it when she's a hypocrite to i know but you're not letting yourself do it because you don't think you deserve it and you do. Yeah well the knicks carpet. I get on my walkin just for you chris. I'll follow behind you pushing pushing you on their yeah. I'm almost comfortable shoes where we'll give you a shot. I mean. I don't know if i i try to voice stuff like that i do. I don't i don't care following attention. And that's what cui. Hey she was like. Let me go. Let's go to our parties. I said no beach. I'm going to be what was that we had to go. I said i get you in. But i'm going to beg dole now is even when i did not. I avenue invited me to his dog. Mythbusters parties there was no backdoor way away fucking garage. And all the way san francisco livers like the are leaving. New blacks literally like fucking fashion. Show the way we walked in and out that bitch. I wanted those fucking chips and salsa so bad we leave it. Okay here we go. You won't security go would you. All what did he would he. Captain saving exc look like a free agent bodyguard. I just love these conversations. Areas is healing. Because i mean. I don't think i'd say a year ago but hey we all got issues around. Let me get more confidence than you. Oh god don't let it happen. I won't push them down that my fuck walkie-talkie fucking wrong with you radio for gay ready you cuba gooding junior mother so poking fun so we go onto that lanta and kate is going widow skip and and we have a good time and we is going to be interesting. It's gonna be interesting. We're gonna good time. We got the final date for when you need to report jerry four. Oh i gotta tell you. I gotta figure i'll tell you won't get off air and stuff like that. I did get a place to stay but it was nice so i'm looking forward to it. Keep healing hey and yeah you know if you need counselling i'm in therapy and i on his focus in therapy and new resolve nudity month crazy gang you know. I got a sponsor call better help. You ain't got to sit in there and talk to them the focal you can do it on zoom likely to nick across. I get you another motherfucker. Castle would to as directly. I know since you looking at a negative rate at eight years to the way alo- one grandbabies. I know i gotta go for some of my kidnapping anymore. We wanna thank you for two needs. So hey young mandy. Want to try better. Help on need it. I made what's your name. Lay that my baby radio. Come and we've been doing our day. I didn't ask god. Forgive me allow Petroleum has to be for game at welfare. Mays skating you to absolutely satam. The arab you look like you're about the data sour cute by i. Thank you for tuning into episode of the pat down. Okay our gave him the boy cowboys. Okay would you give christmas attack now on Reincarnate he'd be telling my son's a hedge oughta she only she was probably his age. Yes i don't know what the fuck you talking about. Sunday's heads off making a comeback. He thirty haters. Hey thank you tune into another episode of the pat down. Make sure you check out my sponsor better because we all the fucking me berryhill. And i'm new to the crazy gang. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of the pat down. Check out my website at ms pat comedy dot com for all of my social media. My tour dates my book. Make sure you spread the word about my pug has please rate every beep. Please write a review share sake so much. Alipay ms pat.

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Episode 24: Whizzinator

The Patdown with Ms. Pat

36:40 min | 1 year ago

Episode 24: Whizzinator

"Hey you love music but have a hard time keeping up with the Tampa we gotta show all about news so join me Joan Array army and me cash heart slow weekly feature. You'll mahomes nailed it. As we discussed the current events in the world of music with our guests cross the plus minute music from listen bins can get pretty heated first of all fucking or we always guarantee sounds while you're asking check us out wherever you listen to podcasts and if you want your music featured on this show emails Jona radio are a wide. Do at G. L. DOT COM Hey It's white boy Chris. This pat-downs ever made you laugh join our patriotic and support US get bonus content a t shirt or an autograph copy of Rabbit Miss Pats Autobiography Visit Miss Pat Comedy Dot convert the link to the Patriot and while you're there join our facebook group thank y'all for tune into another episode of the PAT down. I'm hearing chilling today Titas flat and I'm I'm gonNA give Mu I'm hanging out with say what did he what it is you know and I got white Christmas almost about the data black girl yeah yeah we got gary on fresh aches. You don't know what to do with Allah. ooh Charles Stay tuned into a real fat has yet against the play with these policies on real equal time they put on you. Turn off the play nothing but talk to you know you get this huge tweeted. Hello Nicholson Ray Danton bouts urine. Just go get your own fucking ginger snacks. Okay okay. I'll need you to yell at Me Patricia. Hi Sucked report cards. Now is the last day of school yup. Come on we can do this. You put this podcast mocking listen every I like you. My my brand new two things that were not people like you so what they like. Y Y you gotTa Michael. Utd but I'm reading. I got arrested somewhere Dr John. How are you what's up Chris so we live report cards parts and all that go to school for the whole year just to say fuck you fuck the report card okay? I'm saying we're going to see him. After the PODCAST. I'm a very concerned mom and he keeps what grade portion it don't matter today's more chaotic than normal. When we begin the pot you were telling me when you put it in the face book group and I got here she yelling at them? Damn Shit and I'll tell you what happened so I go outside the welcome deal in the house right and I know for some reason burs lights building a nest on my porch and I've actually burst seven attracted attracted to loud noises. I don't know what the hell they're trying to but accident. I'd see my package outside the bird up their billing sheet it all Falcon doc and jackets and machine here. I'll take these factors. You'll be seated but I bought them. They put themselves every season. Are we gonNA take. They're I mean they don't shoot it. Almost all down box is that they're so as the bird her as an overt fucking house he did not ask as the birds you keep on turning into a fish fry. I'll fuck you a rabid fucking blackbird chamber bird flavors money what is as a cherry bus flavors. Not One of those species of bird didn't get sparrow or swell yeah. That's where I got my car news. Fucking Game Falcons Hawks on my poet free loan fucking this mortgage 'cause money around here that I put my league crease for no reason today day was an exciting day so I had to go to guaranteed. They might like flying saucers little flat no yeah they fled. She take material saucers ice skaters. It's just a lot so I gotta go back tomorrow and give them A. Td jakes a Oh man our no ma'am does get no so that's what I give them a tedious check then what are they check for anything it look abnormal novel normal norm like not having a nipple who's that they mark that with there's lots in all kinds of so it was really nice. She said Ma'am I care about your. Td's and she really examining today so I'm going to a specialist tomorrow. Are you kidding me right now. That's what we broadcast motherfucking struggle. I'm sitting here. These every time is pat caused me. She's you either about to eat some eating or just finishing up eating some. She got half a hamburger. Every time I talk to you and Taco Bell eating. She go kill you. They're going record anyway so at least let me get some good and let me get some good. We'll call me after you dating and I'll call you when I stuff in my fucking face you nasty we used to because he smacked show. We'll be on the commercial side T. so I suppose fucking smack Quanta is Guantanamo Bay level like torture all the secrets out. The terrorists is annoying. I the cheese because bin Laden if you would I personally like when you eat eight minutes past yeah. She had the fuck up before I take dion sticking me Yo as we know that's not gonNA work. She just said you had a loose asmat. Can you believe that you use a tuna. I do have a fucking meatball hanging out the back of it. Yeah it went back elected to sign the I saw article right and it was about a man who donated his sperm to make a living out there he would get twelve thousand dollars a month. She's just by thousands only job just Jackie housing yeah he would go to the burn bank and they had all these rules like you couldn't. He couldn't drink within like a week of going donate. He couldn't have sex with two days before for he went to go donate all these rules and he would get it thousand dollars and that was his only job because he lived out of this car and how much was he making. You're doing this twelve thousand dollars a year. Not Not an all right. I mean there's still technically a McDonald's employee there. There's some perverts out there paying twelve thousand dollars a year to Jack off so at least he's going the other way. He's making money. I'll tell you a story I I think lazy because he should've went to multiple places and really racked up here and you don't know anything about AMAC when they they fall asleep mom. No you ain't day they dig. Don't work like ah go into somebody. Call Komal was was he eighteen or was he thirty five different young a young they can both to nuts follows leave for three but when they own you gotta plan the frigerator true so my brother I had a brother right uh when he told me not to tell you the name called me today so making what's his name I can't my brother used to go to old white lady house in Atlanta right right and she had she chanted thing her basement account a little like US group Opole and I'm not like because I've been over that William O. Surf stripper poles triple. Thank God for you so you get an any. She play Oh you music. She didn't WanNa fuck you as you want to do with Jack you're taking forever nuts and both she paid your one hundred dollars so one day I went out my brother-in-law the gas money so I'll go over one day. He's like I'm sorry. Go ahead and get all these bits money. He's a eight came out and I think the two nuns crawling only I was like money may like two hundred. I like to make another. What's your what's your daily record dion? The most I ever did in one day was seven and I was so tired the next three days I didn't even want to look at it. It starts to hurt after awhile I got six and it's just like after the fourth or doing it to yourself when you're like fifteen like it's just experimentation land. I remember the first time I did. I was in sixth grade right the the kids at lunch. We're talking about if you beat you. Go hair on your palms. I ain't no they were talking about so I was like what are you even talking about. You'll never jackie dig it. I was like no but I'm going to try when I get home. Tom And I remember the first day I did. It was like I did like five times. My brother would banging on the bathroom to take so. Why are your voice so close to the door? I the first time I think it was thirteen the first time it happens. You're like this is like some sort of crazy ball ben if we cannot relate to this can we do. We totally sorry. What were your world see? What's the first time you busted? Pat Terrell hold on. Let's move on baby. Gary wins the last time you rub your being rubbed a baby beanie baby I. I have a beanie baby got. That's called the pianist the baby she shaking her head no radio down now. He's supposed to put ice cubes on it right. Dump it the unsure what to know why lock you volunteered. That's the only reason and uh-huh texted you. Today told her told you to sucker click yeah. I didn't always use talking about said it's loaded assuming with their click because he can't fucking when we can cook shit so are we talking about penises and I talk about this house so what by pink they nobody does. He Craig Chapman Google Ailes de Whoa preteen trust okay so I was watching porn the other day no hold on. I'm I'm telling you this because you brought up else's Day. I was watching the other day and what after the video ended it went onto the next video and it was a big go so I saw I saw I saw Lamar Odom Yeah. We're the limpets with a fake penis yeah now nobody faked leaks. I know by feet tink tink who Lamar Odom the marlins back he was married news were the big Kardashian year she almost killed the almost died Kardashian they call her. They call her thaw his own. OJ's done daughter she could do a tractor pull guessing big as she you know she she got there. She got their surge. She turned host. They have all the way until girl. I mean so did did her dad gabby hard having a change in today Y- yeah 'cause you call her. Mom Can't call her dad anymore. Yeah what. What do we call him? You call her. Mom came now yeah she wants a female pronoun so you say female I say hey. Let's ignored it altogether because you can't go wrong with hey people. Just hey how you doing. Hey what's your name. Hey so what you're saying. Hey we should probably just take a breaking regather who are selves and like just getting diving. This autumn fake penis went to the limpet with a faint Pena's. Gary mostly hit the Olympics begin with we'll find out after the break we will find out there to bring back from the break so we're talking about the mall older men is fake subpoenas right. He got into the LYMPICS. I WANNA know how to subpoenas peace. Let's call a whiz nater. It's today CEO Anything Eliana so he can pass a drug test you deal. How do I know about this the one you got them locked? I ended up a lot and it had why you snitch. I'm just GonNa work that you you have pregnant woman pioneer so he would get a job at ups near like you're pregnant sows this he cheated and he couldn't get a job at a ups. He didn't get the job happens to a lot of. I think you could have gotten up. You couldn't have got like a man's p all he had to say he was transgender. The topic was back yeah. He was so many they used to ask for my pee. I'm not upbringing. We know you could ask for your your lost. I applaud your chastity. I don't buy into this chassis. Chastity means that you don't know because you never did what Jesse is impeach Woodham. I'm belts around. Keep neighbor Jonah from being tell so the cute you know fucking game withdrawal history the name of the also the name of a stripper. My favorite one is the black women to women ain't Jesse's so you can buy a whiz nater. It's it's a fake penis the top European yes what happened if you're peanuts smart holder was a native and they fall off. It's like I think you have like an elastic belt. You put around around and then it looks like look in when you're peeing sometimes and so you have to look like a real penis so do feel real sex with it. I've never never tried. I've not put one of my mouth. I don't know Miss Pat. Did you see your brothers. Yeah didn't look real no just like it did use it It's full of P. It's full of P so's my Dick but still use it. Can you have sex with it. No ooh pass drug. Tests is not do keep the PY heated. Yeah Yeah you because it's up next to your body so it keeps it warm well. He was caught because they were just sitting on Juror addresses. Your he's a big piece in it. Yeah here's what it looks like and then you get faked synthetic. You're in that that she can put with it to synthetic. He's I don't know but apparently they sell it at the gas station by my house. I think a hundred and twenty nine dollars won't you don't do del just if people cannot do dope really that's where you're going to be like a crack at the time to the last last Olympics when he was addicted. Now this was in two thousand four so he was navy royds or Pod or something he was always smoking heated. Dod Oh baby that you can put onto your kid. Let you out there. He just outdoor said wow wow. I've never heard that he did this. He told he he wrote a book. Oh look muscles craziest by collection l'idee and you can get all races. Yes there's like dark. African black beard black shoot putting the five black now been put in the five bed is charcoal black itchy black itchy blake senior uh-huh and this stuff will make you pass a drug test and if you get the correct p a single person that has ever used one successfully do you do. I I used to work at this health food store and we would come in people will come in all all the time trying to buy stuff to flush out systems. There wasn't itself no but we had all this other stuff that if you drank within twenty four hours to forty eight hours supposedly clean out your talks yeah yeah right. A lot of those people kept coming back so I'm assuming it worked. This is the craziest. Should I ever say I've never heard of this was next now relatively probably for what do what do women do. That's a good question behavior. These draw yeah probably behave yeah. No this girl asks for my p. One TA A- and Yeah did give it to her 'cause twenty dollars something to advocate for Gary honored to go out and sell oh her asset. Yes we're going to just focus on you know in Atlanta right and why get my eyebrows is this lady is coming. She used to say her aides eggs egg. She's coming down like every so many months and she will or no. You're fucking eight. We'd be busing in our stomachs for baby fussing about reproductive. No I don't okay. I didn't know you lay down and you wake up. She selling the eggs six thousand dollars you go oh and they take they remove your eggs and you you get I guess they would like six thousand dollars. That's how she made a yeah. You can get a thousand dollars nick. I don't want to art yeah. I don't I want to trigger dion but I know a tall white blond that got ten thousand for her eggs so God damn and especially that runs in your family well. You seem to be smart like you so if you went to Harvard you got like more Ex. You're worth more but what I'm saying is is. How does she bring them to the shop carrying like Oh? She was getting eyebrows garage Appalachian. We miss you walked in the shop. I got sales six fucking cool caressing whip cream. No you can't say a black babies like that. Okay you had the eyebrow arch in the week stolen and beauty salon but you defecate walking AIDS having babies. They don't fuck you. Won't you just try just wait whatnot India raggedy as though what what are you won't find what you want and give you know money Nigga we yeah they come told what does she look on by the park. As what do you want to give up you bid. You GotTa Get Noble. What I know sent him over there union well? You Ain't got opening. If you ain't got it on your phone you gatty you have lost your monkey mind. You tell me when pick them up. Folks want him here. Tell Him he part to my a parking spot. When that's your fucking problem now you need to sit down and play with yourself? Are we talking about like you'll be playing when they ask ask all right. We'll go ahead and peel. Your bean is bad because you know you're uncircumcised. Take himself more. He got like eighteen keys being got three she would come in and she was selling eggs. She cannot every six six months and I was like you made me. I'd have to say crack all I had to do say own. Nobody wants your dyslexic babies. You keep those where they are talking about. You mirror. I'm the only one that turned out okay rested him. Just here that phone conversation she might have a point. It rescues me. He was developed graveyard so it makes it. Oh my God all your kids our whole received granddaddies hairlines W was conceived in the greater so he has he has an issue. They all got issue not a don't talk about family like that. Yeah we know you wouldn't have just call them retarded. What are you crazy? 'cause you say all this stuff about them but did not say one thing. Almost I can talk about my coma only academic coma you saw me no. You're sucking what he's done. Bake Point Gary on that is not no. I'm like a tennis match going to you know either either by favorite part of the podcast when Miss Pat Yells at Gary Honor for the same thing she just did his. She's not kidding either hurt yeah. We're GONNA tag around in two weeks in so doing you a college graduate you. A black college alleged graduate. Can you all your she's a beautiful rider beautiful rider funny. The bar is so low for these in six thousand miles ten thousand. Excuse me Chris the baseline quality. We get less fuck that shoved. He's an ex to exit. I'll make that now. I'll come on all right. I'm ready. I want to get one of those packages. Walk out the door. There's a xm you ain't doing what kids I can give him somebody. You don't want any kids. You don't WanNa make me a grandmother you already. You have three garbage. Lou Gram. I think is still going to grab right. She's every episode is I can't stand all these fucking kids a month. Why wouldn't you WanNa be a moment because I've been to these children? You have your liar. I'm done you done already done before eight isn't aren't even say is fine getting them upon raising them trust me now. I'm you skip tale to the bad part right and I won't it yeah but once you start once you once you can ask Jimbo. He say you don't WanNa kiss either but you you can ask him. Maybe he'll give you one but for right. Now you know about the ISI more candy on the air. She's doing my fucking. We've had seven minutes. 'til we end this podcast. At least please not putting your mouth. I can take it a little bit of my mouth. Gary on gets one ginger snap at the end of the world. You try to genius now. GimMe got a soaking. My is put that dry as piece of bread. I try cooking. Your arrate value. Ginger snaps value the Walmart these laws you want one. Hell No. She's GONNA eat. All I know right. We all CAN START SMACK mackin lose listeners Jesus Christ fight that is GonNa fuck up your feet. You don't tell them what do you do. I am sorry they are two hundred on the microphone. Why Boy Chris I would expect more from you meet? This is very unprofessional. Wash your hair good ginger it now so they strip out here by the Strip was one million dollars. No yes and I'm so proud house need money to what happened. Apple was on hold needs safe working conditions so there's like what was the Osha lawsuit because they're working conditions were worse than their white. I stripper counterpart is was you saw the conditions of the club. When you walked in in like you walked into no fucking Nice clothing put an application construe there's clubs and so the black girls kept getting pushed to like the other club the blacker club that was like less safe and got like ran ran into and people were getting robbed they have they begin their money and they'd be going home? Maybe getting robbed by people so more unsafe than the other so why didn't they just changed is clubs. I mean you could have left him. Most Grip Elise small towns was there. was there like a what town was this. What city remember we'll indeed and you can google but I think what am I putting in Guzzo strippers win three million yeah? This is going to take me to the video you just as Dionne on to look up strippers coming back to fuck you strip. They want to three million dollars three of them. I was three million dollars. I want my thing. Is I want it still. Are they still stripping due to that game on three million. I'm not stripping more. You got three million at the lawyer fees. They got a couple of Bob Eight hundred thousand enough for me. Now Google search was Polish meat. I've just found most strippers to love the craft of what they do there for the art. I oh come on the drug money yeah because I've went to shitty places to perform myself but it's more about is more about the message in the jokes out in my my but clap clap see my thing is these women. I don't want to say they hold but if y'all environment environment was bad and he was a white strip club I personally would have did like what I'm doing when I moved out of why people you ain't keeps pushing me over there. I'm run my air so we're that's why I live in the white label who's walking put fifty black kids and his wife school to diversify. Why didn't they just go over to the white customers I Jackson Mississippi? See so you know the Black Club had to be terrible in Jackson. Mississippi get around the White Club Jackson Mississippi term. I guarantee you hoes heels on them shoe now clear. What do you think the judge's name was? This is the most judgy name I've ever heard the Henry T wingate say I'll bet you anything he was at the Black Club. I'm pushing they. You want three point three million split between five strippers so he was sued because black women could work and he was limiting when the black women could work in fine them twenty five dollars if they did not show up white strippers had more flexible schedules and fined for missing their shifts the measure this wasn't it was on a black white. The owner was white and Danny's manager was also accused of using racial slurs towards the black dancer the owners of the club force black women to work at another club they own black diamonds where conditions and security were worse than the answer over paid less. You see that Mama injustice anywhere justice. So what do you mean paying that nobody golden out to black diamond. What was Vice Grip Club? Call at you're right. It is a free market economy. I mean I do see your point but at the same time it was clearly the only way you can be calling them nigger bitches. That's probably where you fucked up. My friend used to work with o-man and they bring trump this. I taught about blaming. He's got ooh wiggins. Look at fine as nigger bitch rats well. He will like eighty some years. I am well I mean and they probably was nickel. BITCHES bank teams can't call them nigger bitch the nails finance and they go down. It's it's such a sweet and sour complement me but that's probably what they was calling them and Mississippi. Come get this dollar Nigga Bitch. Ah Fuck Jacksonville native now. They really deserve their money. I just say when you sign up for the job up in Jackson. Mississippi environment had to believe fucking horrible. It's like a huge like Osha things and have like I have nothing to do ocean ugliest business. It's a business. They smell like I'm saying I'm not saying ocean honey. Oh okay okay I sent Osha along in place for Mortgage Valley's House by the seashore and Pussy the water right. It's water right so honoring on Jose whereabout oceans. You sound like what's his his face from yesterday. What was his name Guy who always asleep who over housing being sent oriented sleepy is Ben Carson him so the Orioles you tell me about the Oreos? He's like why he's in a case of Orios. He's a case Oreo. Thanks for the questions you ask me. Here's my favorite Orioles Center case a double stuff as wife singing thing and he and he doesn't know any better he thought he has no idea what's going on. He has no fuck yeah well. What is the Oreo was talking about the double stuff? I'm not fucking. Reo Rei R. E. R. E. Oh well I would have missed the orioles to glad you're not in charge the listen to your job to know Ari now it really the emails Oreo just missing. The Appointments Pat me big about our IOS he. Are you really defending dumb ass Ben Carson. He almost bare orioles without a year almost almost manages missing a Dick. Wow you're young boy motown bitch Tom the she came over this desk. We'll tell you one more time. Islamic shut the fuck up and got no Dick. You'd be if you that one. I've seen the video you gotTa Stop. Stop Stop Gasoline Wiki. You Sill you get out my God. Damn House know exactly so what was I saying Laurie Extreme Club and Orioles hope you'll know what else they just stay shaken professional dancer Yeah Not in Mississippi Professionals Neta Professional Mississippi not even the plumbers what what's wrong with plumbing and Mississippi. Did you have a bad experience and I'm just saying you WANNA tell us a shitty story clogged toilet or Mississippi. They probably don't have no problem is septic tanks points pat I mean why are we taking from an plumbing. Go into the septic tank. You're right good point yeah. Let at that point back. We'll of Fortune Daddy. You're not even getting the right answer with jeopardy what they didn't ask in the form of a question but anyway so fucking pissed off 'cause y'all won't let me make this oriole point yeah. I understand that Ben Carson say Oreos R. E. O. so I'll he think he does what he said he was trying to guess the other level before she knows the stupidity that dumb motherfucker new while he was there he was there for housing are is Some Real Estate Ordinance is real estate education no artist. The email real estate is e is something else. I don't know. That's not my fucking job. What I do know is Ben? Carson is in charge of all that shit and he should fuck better. That's all I'm saying but I'm saying I'm not defending him. All I'm saying if you can't asking you carrying you are e. L. I will say Oh Oreo but Mama because you're not that's job. You're ahead of housing somebody oriented. Have you had a something that you don't know nothing nothing about US Borneo that's what we're saying is being Carson. If you don't know what the funds go why so about come down to it we I'll how fucking right are you. You sound drunk. You may say two wrongs. Make a wrong talking to you talking about. I don't know what just happened but I agree with L. Out so the example this sound good. I'm the smartest bitching okay you'd only because I know that's right. Young Lady of God Amen See who cares I mean and and God amy she oh she don't even know nothing about the first of all I got a degree in Bible study from my Little Bible and get a degree in downstairs it says certify up bibles gear and you only went there for the sandwiches sound you want it for the muskateers honey bee and I got my degree. It and Miss Pam hated me because I'll I'll ask him to me but it don't matter what do you think of when you think of Jesus creamy asked Nougat and we go in on that new he in that note until the next Sam Y'all on a pet day. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of the pet down. Make sure you check out my website at Ms Pack Comedy Dot Com for all of my social media. My tour dates my book. Make sure you spread the word

Gary Honor Chris Ben Carson Mississippi dion Mississippi Orioles Pat Terrell US Miss Pat Olympics Ray Danton Atlanta Dr John Tampa Tom Lamar Odom Osha
Episode 55: Social Disc'in

The Patdown with Ms. Pat

54:45 min | 11 months ago

Episode 55: Social Disc'in

"Starlings thank you for listening to the starbucks audio podcast network. We have so many great comedy shows to add to your playlist. Just last week on starbucks audio on the untold our Jessen bowser joined by Alison Schedule. Yoji and her alter ego. Defen- Penn do their first musical guests on ghosted by Roz dreadful as my favorite murders Karen Killed Gareth talks about a creepy and terrifying. Ghost encounter this week on Boogie. Monster Cow Canadian and Dave Stone catch up on food ninety day fiance and the reopening of the country on never seen it. Kyle Ariza's joined by Langston permit. Who has never seen rebel without a cause but wrote his hilarious. Take on so starbucks audio on apple podcast spotify or any podcast platform for full list of our shows featuring hosts like Miss Calcutta main Jackie Johnson. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and twitter at starbucks audio the show and remember stay safe. Stay healthy and keep laughing. Hey It's white boy Chris pat-downs ever made you laugh. Then join our patriotic and support US get bonus content a t shirt or an autograph copy of Rabbit. Ms Pats autobiography visit. Ms Pat Comedy Dot Com for the link to the Patriot. And while you're there join our facebook group welcome to another episode of the PAT down. This is a special fucking episode. Rayo we talked so much my titty study each. I'm sitting here with a look like a mother fucking house. Mom haircuts soon. I'm going to start calling myself care. And yeah he's a soccer mom who out stay tuned up in the museum. We have some good conversation for. Y'All real fat late. Play these same lines policies Zebulon real crime time you put on. It's been that way it's laugh back to Earth. Everything full listener Alpha Nuggets. Tuck tweet tweet. So everybody knows that my son is dealing with the He was dealing with the the covert nineteen corona virus. He's doing good job. I'm so glad motherfucking. Doing good to be honest with you because who when. I went up to his job to get him he's gained the Dow. Should I be first of all? I don't know why if they fail out why they call his Mama to come get in from work when he thirty something years so I get up there where he works. He's I was emergency. Contact Fuck you. Don't call somebody fall out. You call them with motherfucking trip from fouled and they break their arm and they cut the hand. I get up here in a wheelchair. He's they can't get him out of jail. They trying to roll him to the front. And the nigger late the fuck out and I'm like what fuck I'll do my side come. You looked like that today. This ma'am he ain't got no fee last year nigger look to me. I go up there night and so so I got me a Napkin and touch my Nigga as he got the shit child. Wait a minute. You got a Napkin touch him. He would later. He won't get this Napkin from you. Pull it out Titi. Oh no I walk around my wife's my wife's an aerosol virus. I don't give a fog. Somebody he might call any laying on his head and he got one put my hand. Net voguish turtle instincts of L. No so I had to go through Audi Gates to get inside his job and I said he ain't got no fever. I say bitchy look at so I took my mother fucking wipe out. I keep going keep the white on his forehead and it was a Clo- Ross white brought them so so the Dow now now we call the Yankees in my Car Lay Fuck Aka his feet as he opened his eyes and his eyes was five rich. I'll look like somebody has his eyes on and I said Oh. Hey Al Disney is sickly and so I beg the Fuck Up. I'm concerned because his mama is concerned about what she wouldn't give a foul. He's concerned hit. This hot away from me. Don't touch call me. I'll notice Megan thirty. What the fuck out. Call me thirty two. I literally opened his eyes. He looked at me. Say why are you didn't call me before you came to my dad. Say Fuck you NIGGA. Why you why you like fucking tales from Crete cow. So I got a phone. I'm calling nine one. Yeah my fucking. He'd come up with this Nigga he I think he got this shit. We gotta find this nine one one call one. What's your on. What the Fuck Kierra saying care? I look over my girlfriend cry. That's why didn't they go. It's so hard she laughs at you being mean to him she say here say here and now the now I wanted to calm down they do buffet putting Nikki my car. Didn't they go out for Coda? She S O supervise right. He's out scanning mail. I don't know what you get in my car. And they are white people so file really really right now. I think I hear somebody. Didn't he goes all the way to get him so they pull up right way you work. He's a first respondent so I guess they knew what was going on at his job new. They thought that motherfucker like they was that there was that movie contagious. They just four bodysuit with the big mother fucking whores a little breathing things on Saturday. Getting them off a mass. I'm giving one man and we won't say where he works. But certain CO CO WORKERS. Were screaming out the window. They were screaming out of one August. Fuck Out daffairs. Fascist bond got him on the beach on what? The Fuck is wrong today to my day home I saw down Nigga but hope going down so so they pull up right in a fire truck. Ivanka paramedics about moving big a breed mason. And our this should I say oh. Hey I'll now what's going on. I said we already know so. They put him on a stretcher. And then you wanted to ask. I want to get with whatever he I is rare. Don't give them cope put shit on him. They're like where are they all know him? They change their blood pressure. Rights too old some. Because you're there have your hair comb streaming in his face. Wouldn't comfort him wanted to hug so far. It's just the touch you ain't GonNa Fuck about that `cau- you ain't covert nineteen twenty one and nineteen year olds so they put him in Angola's right and they say blueprints tool fast. Oh Hey now as I don't want to catch the diabetes. I gotTA wipe this bathroom. Was like how that's why we're laughing. Did they say they go look at me? I don't even bother coming. I said NIGGA AIn't coming. I'm going home I cook dinner. Go high as fuck with that. Nigga ain't GonNa let you see them. He's special needs so she calls and tells me this and so. My mom is a nurse at the hospital where they took him. I WANNA thank the crack babies who donate mass to my mom. She really appreciates it but I go. Oh I think my mom's going to be taking care of them. Can you take him his phone charger? He's working today all. I need to get Cova. Nineteen because I'm going to talk to her. Bring 'em his phone judge so I go on his phone when they say they they need to talk to you about face time. 'cause we can't seem to so they got him. I see you saw I say so I go to undertake. I give him his phone and go back to take his phone charge and I told. The lady at the desk I need to get my son his sponsor or I don't know why I said Look Lady as my son. Got Covert Ninety overnight. Jane Start Running for two colon ninety. Well you've been in contrast to my son in three weeks I'll tell him. Say The fuck away from my how we wanted when he wanted washing his hand on time. You're going oh I said I told my son stay the fuck away when he won't washing his hands on time. I thought I ain't got no copeland. It getting my son in charge. So I could facetime him back to health. Did you ever comb your hair? Why you face tough but I remember him. Cough lasted stop coughing. I'M GONNA HANG UP COW. I'm getting the fuck up. I'm face our negotiate. My travel through the line hasn't do my speaker she. You know that five G. powerful or sufferings on. I can't talk to you. What ARE THESE CONDITIONS Z? Up Golfing did you. Was there a little part of you? That was worried that he was coughing. On the phone with you that you'd get it. I mean facetime avenue. I started facetime with a mask. That's our series I with lifestyle and wipes in my head. I would not catch an issue because he told me he said we don't column to. He's an s shape. Make your hair her and she I can do it. But good part about corona virus and I know yeah I don't think is a good part too but it he is. He lost thirty fucking pounds. Thirty Pounds Yale. So I'm thinking about taking the Koran. Look at no toilets. Easterly thirty pounds taking what that relation. He lost thirty pain last time. We talked when we are. I asked about him. He the only fat motherfucker who gets covert nineteen and gets hungry. Oh yeah he's saying make him really fucking home so I think that's the wrong disease for you. You already eat like a motherfucker and I know why he lost thirty Pam because a girl can't cook so she told me she say you you wanting with the wrong. He thought bring me peanut butter and Jelly debate. He bullshit since lightened cheese slices under the Dover The keys. I hit my GRANDPA. You won't see Chili Dogs. Good for covert. Now that's a nutritious meal. Well we made him. Some soupy was so motherfucking. Happy he didn't know to do and Gary Tuchman this. We'll do you want to take a break real quick. And then we'll take a break and we're GONNA call me out so he can tell you by his parents with covert nineteen. Got a question for you. Is there something interfere with John? Happen offer venues achieving your goals. You know you want to do a project you want to go back to school. You really want to dig deep inside Finnish something that you started but you need to boost. I'm here to tell you about better health. Yep I said better H. E. L. P. Better Health will assess your knees in met you with your own licensed professional therapists. You Start Communicating number twenty four hours and let me just say this this is not a crisis is not a self. Help is the professional counseling done. Securely online there is broad range of expertise available which may not locally available in many areas. This service is also available for people were wide. All you have to do is log into your account any time to send a message to your counselor that you can't even do this. Took no doctor's appointment no. Do you have any ability? All you have to do it. Just log into your account anytime instead. A message to your counseling. You will get timely thoughtful response plus you can schedule weekly videos of foundations. So you won't even have to sit in uncomfortable waiting on this between you and your therapist. You ain't even gotta get up out if you WANNA do that video recording you look like pokemon. That's fine with trump there. Become as you have this conversation so you can do what you need to do. You can't beat that with a broom. Sti Better help is committed to facilitate great therapeutic matches so they can make it easy and it's free to change counselors if you needed so if you don't like that boom boom you talk to better help. Gotcha baby they let you. Change Council for free until you feel as comfortable as you need to feel so you could open up in deal with anything that you need to deal with it. Can I say is better? Help is more affordable than any traditional. Offline counselor if financial aid is available. Better help a missed. Pat will do to start living a happier life today. Don't take my rear visit better. Health website read. The testimony is dead. Posted daily. Visit Battle help go to bt T. E. R. H. E. L. P. dot com slash. The PAT DOWN. That's the better help. Bt T. E. R. H. E. L. P. dot com slash. The PAT down enjoying eighty thousand people taking charge of their mental health with the help of newspapers professional and as a special offer for my Pack Down Lists Better. We get down like this over here on the pat down. My panelists will get ten percent off your first month. So take your own over to better help. B. E. T. T. E. R. H. E. P. Dot Com. That's the pat down a get the help you need because Miss Pat won't g to grow baby. Yes I want you to grow like everybody else. Let's get it. Hey I'm andy if you don't know me it's probably because I'm not famous but I did start a men's grooming company called Harry's the idea for Harry's came out of a frustrating experience I had buying razor blades. Most brands were overpriced over designed and out of touch. At Harry's our approach is simple. Here's our secret. We make sharp durable blades. Sell them at honest prices for as low as two dollars. Each we care about quality so much that we do some crazy things like by a world class German blade factory obsessing over every detail means we're and offering one hundred percent quality guarantee. Millions of guys have already made the switch to Harry's so thank you if you're one of them and if you're not we hope you give us a try with this special offer get a Harry starter. Set with a five Blade Razor waited handle Shave Gel and travel cover offered just three bucks plus free shipping just go to Harrys DOT COM and enter eight nine eight nine at checkout. That's Harrys Dot com code. Eight nine eight nine enjoy. We call Nacchio beach. Mama did talk to dad this both. Fuck you WANNA call my daddy at night when the sun go down Easter Bunny. Not even the money because he has the flap is ills on the bunny. No Imagine Easter Bunny answered his phone. So we haven't apart we doing our podcast. You only corona virus motherfucker. I know I know but you still in quarantine so I'm going to interview you like. Cbs News reported. Do not answer like our president. I know you can read it. Well Fuck you bitch. So you're saying that she reads as well as Donald Trump. Is that what you're saying thing educational off a bitch? I went to West Ian Hoskins. Sri Maybe True Wagon Day Cheek University Police. Gam they tell the ball was he called the appointment with Polynesian. That's not degrees Polynesia certify cases they sell tubs chick-fil-a sauce only district. But anyway we call them to talk to you by the qualifiers and that you look like a mother fucking buckwheat and you look like the state Sunday Nike as she. She told us the story of when she came to pick you up. What can you tell us about when she came to pick your? What is your version of events? Have you know you attack? Chloride white bow your name. Rise from the dead. Allah way wrote quoted in the sleigh ropes. Light pay plants on my head like I was saying it out. I'll deep conditioning behalf. When they told me to come get that nigger so it was like yeah like loan plants. I got my really long so he was in different little plates all over here so they told me to come get him and care. Call me say. They say he can't walk and I was like what's so. I went down like a concern. Mother he whereby my mother Fucking Hell? When did you start feeling bad that day? Eight hundred wings. My thought on thought. Today don't work when I got this massive headache going on I call it a Medical grab three or four times to come see me and window point the APP Athlete Penalty. Cain my blood personally tool to usually to a one point difference to get to where you will get the negative ion excuse me dion game. He weighed newborn. Get One hour. He started with with the way seen so so. When you started feeling bad did you fall out? I would hate Nike Real quick. Are you on speaker phone? Yeah can you take us off? Speaker doesn't sounds good. Okay so you passed out all right. That was passed all I remember a bunch of people trying to put him in the ambulance. Bay Body I can't remember when I was an intro about you know. Do you remember her showing up at all. I didn't know her throwing up. Is that my oldest is a little bit thinking fast. Here are still responsive to hear everything you know. I wasn't like completely completely out. You look around now but I couldn't hear everybody was I saying Do I really don't know out here. Nobody I heard a little bit here down here the peace. I'm Oh okay and so. Would you scared when you got to the hospital when they when they brought you back through to a through or whatever they eighty there? Yeah no no not at my really when you woke up was you scared already woke. I will tell us what you peed on yourself. Well I didn't know that later on though the process what you really get yourself like in a truck. I know they have to answer. Mclovin off fighting with my body was numb. I didn't feel nothing. I didn't know what was going on. You know did you. Did you have Simpson? Like you've not for the days leading up to that before you have symptoms right so I'm just like what would you feel the light and when I I I felt like The first my my thought was really stop. I was like so medicine for Sore Throat. Danda sore throat when away from me. Lewis on my face and my taste when after my taste when I lost my ride already like in a week process but then again I didn't have nothing else. I thought my taste is coming back. And so you around taking nate when you got when you got the Cova nineteen and so I remember him the night before he with my youngest son and he had on his mess and Duma's he will call for like a Nigga. Smoke cigarettes really hates you. Run on the one. That's their whole your head at one of his whole rat. You need to help him move them. Bob Base Nikea literally role with the one that day. Well he got his coughing June bus. Whatever you got. And he's going to land on the back of popular truck. We're saying gene book so we got to the hospital in. You Realize. Tell us about when you test positive. Tests came back. Had a nurse came and told so not positive. They usually come. They didn't come to all when I found out I had positive nobody. Okay making ruined. Everybody start talking door. Where's he told me? He like. She's a little bit. You test positive for cover. Nineteen like are you. Don't coming up. I mean it is what it is just like. What's it like a really bad cold or like what could you compare it to what it feel like? I just I just felt like the way you look and if you were the way I feel the way you look I I would say gonNA real look like he had a bad case. Gonorrhea if you're going to compare it to if the answer later came in my body the navy very time Lazy Nigga as opposed to regular your. Thank you for taking the kids. I was like WHO's coming in. What twice now Nike. Is it true? I've I've heard that only gay guys get this. Is that right? Yeah you'll be talking. Wish no but like seriously like what did it feel like it was like a like a bad cold. You may not feel I really tired. That's how I feel tired. Felt like I didn't want to get up and move it off but it somehow had to force myself to get up so I forced myself to work out in the hospital. So you know. What did you have a fever? The whole time like and they haven't figuring my favorite go up and down so my favorite dropped ninety eight being laid on at night it park up in. Tonight's like one. Oh three what did you feel like that but three eight? Oh say did in hospital did like your lungs her where you coughing. A bunch. No my lot of having having any breathing H. Along with the company then day they just my the migraines you know things like that happening A headache what type of. What type of medical care did they give you as far as to to help you like what were the nurses constantly coming back in the room or they leave you by herself and push this button? People like in the middle of night but not the you know taking blood and stuff like that from concert so it was like in late night. They was constantly doing towards me again now. Giving it medicine at night. The appeals to take three days out of the UH depends. I had to take three today. Yeah what are they are they giving? What kind of medicine other than the deal? Chew on anything else. You eight a serious question though when you're going to get back to kissing guys. Do you miss them? Chris Williams kiss me again a thing so come on Tuesday. So what was it like? With your doctor's appointment dot appointment is basically basically if I had any breathing problems. Amy Fever and stuff like that make leadership and go on with. I was so they'll get east like migraine throughout the day. So are you trapping in your room like were you are you? Where's I think when I was at work where it really probably set it off when I took an ad view when I put advil at work? That's when everything I sparked up for me I had it. Yeah I've been though I had the advil that's what made me. That's what made it worse. There's something in advil. I vaguely remember the aspirin or something. No so what at the way that be profiled and advil work is in these things give it like do it does something to certain receptors in your body. And that's the same receptor that covert attacks. And so when you take advil just basically gives the virus free rein and like really fucks you up so that makes total sense. Yeah because they got him on Tylenol. You still having headaches. You need to be quarantined. A little bit more sign. Yeah sounds like no no. This was the one I told you. I mean I had my appointment that I could do. A quarantine situation. We HOPE SO SAGA UTAH. I'll I'm saying I only to see the twenty twenty to say get cancelled Christmas bitch. I'm you come over here. You have so much Lysol clorox wipe in in your face up. Yo as we dishing the static you over. What did I say do sounds like? Is this something. I'm not missing Dushi newspaper. Your Mommy used to stick of John McCain your daddy out. Oh Yeah Yeah. That's what I'm GonNa do not you don't need to see you. Twenty twenty one each Jeez rise again. Twenty Gail I fucking what you come over here. We'll none of that shit. I can't handle shit. I can't no gunshot wound. Sd No cove nineteen no. Kobe won over to know. Carinthia's throwing the rice over your back. Shit that's the way I collisions. No revelation no genesee no Lutheran Lutheran. I can't what about Jackson Jackson? Prints lean stevie wonder gap band. You heard the Stevie wonder. Have you heard that conspiracy? I haven't seen the video now man so this is how we won't call you. Let it go grow. Stay Save Nike. Estee say that's my son with the corona virus and doing well. Thank you for your prayers and he ten dollar donation. So I've been bored. Obviously this stuck in the house and I got down Goddamn Youtube rabbit hole where I saw this video of a conspiracy where people think stevie wonder can see as I started seeing all these videos. There's video of Anthony Anderson. He was talking about. He did this benefit show. Stevie wonder and he's out on stage stevie walks right up to him and goes. Hey Anthony take me to the piano. And he's like how do you? How do you know where I was like? He had to play it off. Then there's another video of Paul McCartney. There's all these people on stage and Paul McCartney dashes across the screen and he knocks over a microphone. Stand stevie wonder catches it as like you know. Yeah they got the chance to sit you leave. Harvey was like Yo so Steve. I was supposed to do an interview with Stevie wonder and I had just bought his brand new truck and Stevie wonder's late so he's like man where the fuck are you. Steve Stevie wonder calls him. He's like yeah. I'm outside and truck. I'm pulling up right now. And he was in Steve. Harvey's brand new driving. Lionel Ritchie did an interview on Jimmy Kimmel or Fallon and he was talking about. Yeah again. The car was Stevie. Wonder he's like yeah man. Let's go and he was like a Nigga you blind. Don't worry about and he fucking got in the car. He was parallel parking. This I'm I'm a man. Could you keep it up that long? I mean it's been eight years since he's been famous right like he's old them. Manning let me tell you something I sixty line because Stephen wanted to see how much you know. Lost his hair. He's had hanged becky's he would be news breaks blindness day. Do you know I have it in. WouldN'T BE EASIEST. T want to be weighing on the back of your say it'd be getting disability this long. They've found out he could see he going to get them anyway. You know you motherfucker mind. Thirty three dollars among his fucking millions should cover actions that he wanna Casey any doing them arrival government and his friends. I know Steve Case because he knew how could be mad the next Nigga who let him walk around like that did you? Did you see the Apparently this whole conspiracy. Donald trump is a time traveller. Yeah he knicks. Last time travel all Russian bit evil. That didn't get power then came over here and di- became undercover. Donald J trump was mean Donna Jackass trump and came agla. He'll fake a billionaire hotel owner and he don't treat US I think he he'll he's fat. He'll look allegedly. Hitler still alive down in Brazil. Yeah he'll allegedly. He escaped to Brazil because the Russians moved in and they never found Hitler's they've found charred remains and that the German said was Hitler but they never actually found Hitler's body. They think it was just one of his stunt doubles. How would he be today? One hundred nineteen. I mean he's even Orlando that long born in late eighteen ninety S. Oh yeah he ain't. Nobody know Germany probably was in Germany? I mean probably all Brazil but again able to coconut now they do they do some transgender operation down know. Bhikhuni Hitler saying you never know that carnival first of all he was white so when I go hang hold up like day I'll go fuck. How many pills? You stuffing down there with no money. No I'm I'm saying he hundred nine. Who WANTS TO FUCK? Your booty can be eighty. You're Buddha can be seventy five but eh puts it dry? Sleep a draft already shopping. That's just because you use yours way too early. So you're saying she's forty eight but her pussies ninety seven. At least I'm forty eight. I'm a Pussy. Forty folks because I've been married almost thirty years left back in Third Grade. Audi in who was killed not at all use ours years got a movie. Don't know about that story not at all you listeners. From with me but I say not at all. Oh really it's definitely it's so funny not at all you know Bush and not in my friend laugh so hard when he says a gear would also boosted nine dollars. How's he feeling with his? I feeling you. He's still don't want no pen. David puts it always at home and this is a pandemic Dale. We bought disk in new social disc voters out this sport. A disk disk associated. What are fucking cost lows? It is you know you got to be six foot for six feet away from somebody. As always guy from Alkatiri he was like oh some withdrawals can he drank a meal. It made me think he was maybe on mental some shitting trying to keep from throwing up. 'cause he drank milk out of a fucking water mada and well. He couldn't be still look at his own. Mind me and I said this on some aims to white main focus on something any and he just turned around the Star Talk said Nigga we social disc stop talking at Foca won't be talking about fucking lowland unique you on this Shit U K B Steal. Your shoe turn no like trying to fight each other. Get sucked wife main. What does it have turned up like? They've been fighting this sheet the toes curl up like the wicked witch. Motherfucking bike cliff. I go on a bike rail. Aw that's the funniest cover. Can I fly Nigga? Say what she was trying to say. Snow Leopard eight by is and when I say is. Don't forget you then you'll be able to muffle guys lot better name for like bike cliff better than a like. Ram. Wouldn't it be crazy if like two hundred years you were time travel you go forward. And they were called bike. Clinton started right with her. I wouldn't I would doubt it token this shit but we literally between episodes are all coffee because we just start laughing so hard yeah bite of negative shoot turned up for grabs Hsun. They like you know how to March tunny. Pb Put an eight day. Wise in wooden shoes and feet won't grow. Yeah finding their feet. Were buying into backflips Muslim shoes. He had feet by NASA looking at a distance. Stopped turning around and start talking to you here for some she gras. I'm not here for covert nineteen and she tear gas ramp. The fuck you out here. For highs you highs motherfucking Kinda bleak order that is the Jewish a wrong application of the word Kite. Well what you just said is not to go where it's not. It's not a cake zone. Kite kite kite is fine. Kite is what you're supposed to say the waving thing in the air. Yeah that's no. You're not saying that saying saying you're saying what the fuck is Jewish slurred. I wish you'd stop saying it. Stop saying please I swear to God. Let me ask you. Do you focus on security. What is slower for like Jews? Yes why columnist. I have no idea they call us so they say they fly move on somebody else. We signed kite. I'm not what you think you're saying. Why now the fuck fuck as you talk about what we're hearing? I'll give fuck. What U K? I T has a mother fucking K I t de with old and stick with that from here on out young. Kill me probably would at a meeting and saying and it's GONNA go bad. It's very offensive term to Jewish yet. I never call my Jewish friends. Oh Lord Board. The board is not working. It's not a it's A. It's a really talk. We just just. Don't call your Jewish or whatever you know that that Michael Jackson Song they don't really care about US kick me. Don't you. Black or white meat. They bleep that out. That's bad of a word it is. They did a video dirty because they had to reshoot it I was talking to D- another day and I was telling him when I was a key that in Atlanta Georgia they gave us rate was as clean as you've ever. Having a rape whistle no issue. We had anybody wanted to fuck me. Plainfield Brentwood we had slap bracelets trapper keeper. We're right Walsall's some dystopia. No they keep saying so when you felt like you know what a rape whistle is. You shouldn't have to give them the Little Kid. That's the point. We don't believe they gave into the whole damn call school and I call quiz show. She said what color was your masters blue. Pink steady worked out because we wouldn't stop blown them nobody rape and there's many. Goddamn kids all here's Michael Jackson. Fuck you I'm Seri- WE ARE RATE Walsall's dangerous strange. I just remember getting the worst and food. He Rape Whistle. But it will literally just goes off say. Did you blow when your baby daddy is she a rapist dot com catering border with somebody? Here yeah we all got right. We'll Mabul remember to write. We'll see how are you? We was like an elementary under ten. Yeah negate a whole school like you got to pick your calling a dare program thing. It was like a dare program. I don't know whether name worst came from. But getting rate yet. Us opposed to blow the whistle as well as like mother buggies by and say but it is kind of a dumb concept. We I think we blew him so much. That man who help and he just quit you. Just go back though. I can't save these kids. Hold on Sir. I need to get my whistle. Could you please take a break right? Wills Elementary School. I could picture every stroke so with Google. Play a little boy. I thought it was the Catholic Church. They should Catholic. Usually stop going to fucking Catholic Church One Hundred Years Very. Leave your child booty hole. Oh Yeah I'll give them. A rate was at home younger about him. 'cause I it was something print on the side of the right. What's the but I can't remember what it won't say noted. Yeah we got right. Wilson Elementary School. Because they gave Liu wrote Ryan is blue. That vaguely remember the dare package but my hat like a ruler. We didn't have a DARE PECK. Is they gave? I don't know if it because it was like we did kidnapping with black kids going on the Leno. Let him mass murderer. I don't remember I just remember the rate Wilson. That's what we column and they said if you endanger blow the whistle somebody will save you but literally the whole school bloat day. Long really is a stupid idea to give a grade school whistles at the same time it teaches. You got down seven danger. She just went home. Walk in the door. Blowing the whistle crass mile. Where yeah we fucked up. They were all signalling to the rapist. Here we are here. But that's fucked up. That's fucked about Blackie. We'll get your so your Kagan just signaling the rapist. We're over here come game. Just play ice cream truck music. Yeah we all head Motherfucker Rate Wilson and I had to call. I know somebody. Remember the rate Wilson. I don't think I'm trying to remember. I don't think we got never well. I grew up in Orlando so they gave us out. Who is it June do might? Did you ever get a right? Wilson said Ma not doing this. You Know Right Wilson trying to think I don't I don't remember my brother's coming home whistles in fifth grade we had sex ed class and the girls all kinda snuck back with pads up. Their shirts got tampons. That's closest to even close to it. My Second Cajun class was nothing like rating. So you were late for class now. Appear was like I was pregnant. I told you must teach put me at declared because you're are knowledgeable cause a little. Dick they showed little micro penis is condition though. Yeah hurtful when you talk like what she would say to the listeners. She said it wasn't erected yet it wasn't it wasn't woke up and grow or not ashore. -nology say they really looked like when they wake up and I say I don't know nobody look like they don't solve man I got my ass. How did you did? I ever tell store you told it to me. I don't know if you told it so when I saw when I when I before I even became a drug dealer. I lived in a Western Not Fast Three. I lived over near ASPER STREET IN ATLANTA GEORGIA GHETTO. So wasn't crack wasn't crack it. It was heroin in the community. How we had this big time as drug dealer who was selling heroin heroin. Heroin what do you call it? And this guy was engineer of fucking engineer. May Good fucking money. Has Brother was a heroin? Drug Drug Dope. His name was J bev very smart black man but he was shoot dope he was shooting heroin and when he shot the hair he would get bud. S Nikki Essay. Do we talk to? Ben DOES GET. My hands were pregnant. Lick it up his ASS J Rey. Yes he's trying to put up your hands. I'll see it almost appears so it became a thing. We shot dope. Everybody know he was going to ask you to get to read so we literally walked by and I am not I remember standing on the ray it matters what his fucking legs and Alexa fucking him. No matter way you run out the house is they get get but ask me. And when he came down he was so embarrassed he was a totally different per. He will see it was almost like he turned into the incredible. Hulk didn't realize you were naked. When he came down and we have his claws at next to him is literally he literally every time he shot though he was screen. Right I mean he. I mean I've never seen about just fist. They booted old where he wasn't. Even gay was married the way you will go up in his home. That is not a blocker Selana. That's what they do. I'll know Jay bad day to what but Jay Bell always screen getting read out his and that's the first time I ever really dealt with somebody who did drove right. Because I I mean I was pregnant with Ashley so I knew you wake up in the morning. Needles will be all over the place that she and my mom was diabetic as a lot of diabetes. And this is the learning shooting. Don't right and that's why Jay back then I asked him. I should say Jay Baer. Why are you shoot? He says so good. I said but you always Alabama recipe is what he say. He'll remember the rat being in his eyes when he came down. Wow be so embarrassing. What not out to eat on the ten years in a row ten years straight. So you know. He did as a community to support him whatever. He took all right S. tote BAGS. Yes fundraiser gratitude to. We just made sure wherever he got naked started coming down that we had his close near so he can put his clothes back on. Nice but that was the craziest she ever say every Friday. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of the PAT down. Make sure you check out my website at Ms Pack Comedy Dot Com for all of my social media. My tour dates my book. Make sure you spread the word about my podcast please. Rate every veep please rate a review a share say Kasowitz. Alipay Ms Pat.

Steve Stevie Wilson starbucks Miss Pat heroin Donald J trump Audi fever US diabetes advil Nike Harry Orlando John McCain Atlanta Nikki Essay soccer Michael Jackson Bhikhuni Hitler
Nicole Still Doesn't Know That Much About Cake - LIVE

Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata

1:06:21 hr | 10 months ago

Nicole Still Doesn't Know That Much About Cake - LIVE

"Right now on your will bake. The nation celebrates two hundred episodes with special guest John Hodgman and Mazda Varney to discuss the lockdown with kids and the future of handshakes for more follow at your wolf on social media. Have you listening? Look we famously love. When people wash themselves in the shower and your shower is a time for self care for your mind and your body. That's why Ole just launched a new collection of skin-care inspired body washes that include ingredients like vitamin B. Complex vitamin C. Collagen and highly roddick acid. You need to give these old lay body washes a try and while you're at it also try as new rim soft body conditioners. You can find both Olay. Skin care. Inspired body washes and body conditioners in stores or online anywhere body washes are sold. It's time you and breakfast had a fresh start just head over to the egg. I'll and pick up just crack an egg for a hot fluffy scramble ready in less than two minutes. Just add a fresh egg over their breakfast fix in like real potatoes meat. Veggies and cheese. Stir Microwave and reignite your love for breakfast. Try all seven varieties like Denver protein pat and all American and take breakfast back. Hi Oh boy oh boy well. We should walk this. This is best friend. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so here's made Nicole buyer. I Miss Pat. According to some is another black female. Comedians someone's called Ramsey last night share. Refund me here in Montreal and I love on all of instagram posts. Your Lake CR show thirty in the morning we'll will probably be hung over and it happens. Bradford we put in the universe and a universe gave it right back really did we were drinking until three thirty in the morning and then I can actually go to sleep when I got to my room. Tired was you do. Are you fiddling? I I was feeling. I Like Stumble on an article talking about Jack Horsemen and I was like did I miss a season of Beau Jack Horsemen. I love that show so much I know you. I missed a whole last season. I watched up to four. And it's like wow I can't wait for five and then look like five came out last year last September of last year of two thousand eighteen. I started watching the first episode and I was like what am I do? I gotta go to bed. You're dedicated fan. I Love I love it. I think it's a really good show We've done some voices on my show. You have not together though now. It'd be nice yea It was an episode with you. Should Tyler so people think I might use tyler value? Black is fun they even confuse your voice Yes and we don't sound anything alike. No it's just really interesting. They're just like a black and it must be yell. You know America's fun too now. I feel so wild right now. Yeah when I went to my room. Yeah I took off. All of my clothes giggling. And Grand Ole Time. Yeah seven. A great time has giggling in the dark. I smoked some weed that I didn't declare and I do declare because on that one machine you get to the airport there like declare everything you have and I was like no not me. You're not GonNa get me because remember that one time I came to. Oh boy no and coober and I didn't have a luggage because I was poor. So my roommate at the Time Jen. Jen was like here. Use My bag. It's been under my bed for like two years and I was like sick and it was dry. Rotted and it was fine until we got to the airport. We're standing in line at customs and then the bag just disintegrated. They're like why are you here? I'm like holding my clothes and I'm like I don't know why are you here. And you can't say that customs officers and then I didn't realize that people in Canada got paid to do Improv. You don't America unless you're doing like doors or whatever so they were like. Are you here for work and I was like? I don't know you here for work. And they're like where are you going? I think I answered nothing correctly. You also expedited your passport. The day before I'd be the worst terrorist you know I'm holding my clothes my got my passport yesterday. I don't know where I'm going to do the terror and you're the person they need to be investigated like Oh. She can't get anything right now. Let her go in before we had to. We can be in cancer or waiting just at the side while we were like don't know she's going to get out. We don't know what's going to happen. What what about our show and they really ask you all these questions like. Have you been arrested? I was like sure have sticky fingers and answering the questions properly. And they're like well. We don't let criminals and I was like well. You should isn't that I said now but then they let me free as close. We went and we didn't Improv. And then we won best of the fest. Really thank you. Thank you thank you. We did a lot of Improv festivals. At your loved him pro fastballs. We went to DAD's garage Atlanta. Yeah we went to Vancouver a couple of Times Edmonton Edmonton which like at me. Say That you can't is like and we were like we love a great time. Great thrifty I still have a pair of acid. Wash jeans from that decadence store. Oh you remember the fucking name as bad. I still have a vest with Zebra on a yeah. That's like one of our favorite things to do when we go to. Town is the shop and see like what dead people in that town war? We haven't fifteen in Montreal really though. I've never never had time when I've come here. Yeah I don't have time either. I don't I don't know anything in Montreal. Other than this St. Yeah like a six block radius. Good thriftiness or good scripting. Oh Oh really. What's it called at the BS at? He doesn't is that. What is that. Where Michael Jackson's baby? So he said or is that there's a picture of that there's a mannequin. My question isn't that where I need to be. Yeah Nice Lady. Said there's a store where there's a mannequin Michael Jackson holding a baby outside. I don't know how they're in business. I fully would go. That's not for me. That's not my style. I think this is like a Wax Museum of Hor. These are bad things happen. Yeah like Madam Med. Not what I thought it was GONNA say. How do you say that? That's how I pronounced Laureus a not. I'm sure Chart Char which doesn't make sense because now I'm thinking about it and there's a bunch of S.'s. There is a couple of S.'s. Yeah I'm a student of the world always learned it and isn't that Nice. It is nice but sometimes it's really overwhelming with the amount of information. I do not know just as wild that I said into this world so so dumb. You know you are very smart like still pay attention okay. Yeah that makes sense. You think you're just having so much fun In your own life that just facts whizzing by you all the time I think. So yeah I yeah yeah. Facts are whizzing by and I'll have a blockade bug catcher. Help you know what the Fuck Hook on it or like fucking long well will hobos things. Oh okay with the stick and then a bag yes. We'll take the bag and put a net. Have you seen those? Yes yes nets you don't have to. I didn't need the example of a Hobo stick. I understood the concept of a stick and a nets that exists already. I was on board already conversation. About Street scoopers. Oh my construction vehicles and there had been a street scooper. I don't know what they're actually called. It's one of those orange yellow things at scoops up the road a street scooper and I was trying to explain straight scoop and so then I say picture of the streets know what you're talking like. I never needed the picture. Like a straight scoop. If you straight then you went to Google dot com to find stupor. And that's what I put in and it should be exactly what I wanted. So it's called the streets. Cooper actually know what it's called street sweeper. No the thing that has that skill scooper scooper. Yeah big her say to yellow. Who has phones have have Wifi and that work? We need a couple of people to be on the googles for us yes no big ball swings into a building no Iraqi is like men are now wow. Do you know what I'm talking about. What's it called? Abaco who I like that you call me about wonder well great scene. We don't have prizes here but thank you. Want a bottle of water down my love. It take good notes. Your shower is one of the few spaces that is truly yours. A place where you can go take a moment of self care for your mind and your body. Ole recognizes the importance of that moment and they believe that your shower products should indulge. You leave you feeling transformed and confident. That's why Ole just launched a new collection of skincare inspired body washes that include ingredients like vitamin B. Three Complex Vitamin C. Collagen and Heil Arana. Gasset I like the cleansing and nourishing body wash with vitamin B. Three conflicts and Hyler onic acid. Everyone's trying to get high erotic acid up in their lives and all over their skin because it retains water it's moisture magnet and that's really helpful because the air is getting drier. The seasons are changing. Or you're stuck inside all of air conditioning. So it's good to actually moisturizer your skin and give it away to keep moisturizing. Throughout the day away premium body wash with gas it locks moisture to keep the skin moisturised throughout the day without feeling heavy and honestly it's just a good way to treat yourself. You take care of your face all the time. Why Not Take Care of your body? Your skin also needs the same kind of love and care you give from the neck up you need to give these ole body washes try and while you're at it also try allays. New Rinse off body conditioners. You use them after your body wash and they take body care even one step further to help. Stop Dry skin before it starts. You can find both Olay. Skincare inspired body washes and body conditioners in stores or online anywhere where body washes are sold. You know it's not easy to eat healthy during this time that we're in because I want to eat snacks on a snack all day. I want to eat junk. Food is it's easy to do that when you're inside but with new you can actually break some habits now. As the habit change program that uses psychology to help users learn to develop a new relationship with food through personalized courses. Helps you feel empowered to build healthier habits and feel better about yourself. Newman's Greg because if you're trying to focus on specific things with your eating patterns you can put it into the website and it'll help you adjust and I like that. I just need someone to tell me what to do when to do it. How to do it because if it was up to me. I be eating bread all day every day name. Teaches you why you do the things you do? And empowers you with the tools to break the bad habits and replaced them with better ones? It's designed by psychologists and they meet you where you are so. The program is accessible to everyone and numerous forgiving. Because you're human. No food is good or bad or off limits. You'll be able to chat with your goal specialists and the neum community to get and give help to people who are going through the same things sign up for your trial today at noon in show 'em dot com slash best friends. What do you have to lose? Visit noon Dot com slash. Best Friends to start your trial today. That's new in O. M. DOT COM slash best friends. Nicole pizzas so good last night man. There is a savior last night in the bar in this hotel and I was like okay. So let's go for one drink and you were like. Yeah so then I ordered a double grey goose on the rocks. Two of them then ordered you to double jamison and that's not the definition of one drink. That's that's four during. I'd never want to go up to the bargain and that's supposed to do. It was so hot. I couldn't believe it that we chose to sit by the fire. Yes it was. It's too hot by the bar. Go sit by the fire and it was really nice because we had you chairs and then we were entertaining. People came by as they came to us as if we had a talk show fireside chat. We should do that. We are doing that right now. That is currently what's happening. You're absolutely right. That's the time Kim Kardashian on her show was like main. Do Documentary about my life was like what do you think this? It made me laugh so hard and I was like. I don't think that got its moments in history that I should have gotten so funny Kim so funny to finish. Yeah it is and people say they don't have talent. They have a lot of talent or do they tell us people watch their lives in real time and then watch it again on a TV show. That's a talent you don't think so. It's redundant and people eat it. The fuck up yeah. That's a talent. Yeah get area very passionate about this. Yeah I don't watch the show a lot but I do know that they have been trying to do like educational things within the show. Like when I'M GONNA CHECK OUT. Land Baron just see what it's about that's like you know what you're doing and I like that. I like that too. There was one time they went to downtown. La Mike went to like a homeless like a encampment and she was like this was bad professional opinion. This yuck him. Of course. It's bad fucking. Put Him in one of your empty houses. Yeah you could do that. Yeah did they try to find a solution and oh it just like her enclosure like hung and that's about it. Yeah Yeah it's tough. Is the homeless situation here. Bad because everywhere it is everywhere. We gotta give these people homes. Yeah I don't is in there like a statistic in America that's Lake. They're more empty home than there are homeless people. Yeah wild it's so great. Yeah put them in homes homes air. Put Him in there. Yeah well we almost done. When did you go back to Mercury Saturday? And then your trip here was like smooth. Trigger is not smooth. I showed up okay so my plate was at ten fifty five. I showed up at ten because I like to get on a plane. Sit Down have the door closed and being there. So that's how I liked time things out but then I was like Canada's Canada's not Super International. Select Overseas Yeah. There's no see overall land and then you. Yes yes so. I don't get there that early and then I got there and then I was at the kiosk and I was like bitch. You can't check in and then I was like so then I went got him line. There was one person working the Air Canada fucking thing so then I had a weight. This man with a dog was very frazzled and then he finally got checked in and then they're like you and I was like hi. He was like Oh and I was like what so then he was like. I don't know if I can check you in and I said maybe please. And then he checks in he was like if I were you. I would run like walk so then I run but I did walk slightly faster than normal and then I got to the gate and they were only. I think they just boarded like first class in my zone. One and I was like hurry. This man sent me on a fool's errand to run. I didn't have to slightly out of breath waiting to get on this plane. So then I'm like checking in my said to the gate agent. I said Oh I don't have a seat. They didn't give me one when I checked in and she was like. Oh really I'm business class. I think you'd have excellent. I think it was French because on frontier in La. Maybe it wasn't yeah you're still in La at this point. Yeah you're right okay. So it's like you're supposed to be a business class but we don't have a business class seat for you and I was like why and she was like because you were late and I was like but I paid for the upgrade and she was like your late and I was like so the person who may see also paid for the upgrade. You double sold the C. She's like no. He got an upgrade. You lost your upgrade and I was like but I paid five hundred dollars so much money. I need a seat and then I almost three Tantrum and my brain I was like I will not fly I but I didn't scream it. I was just like shaking and she was like moved to the side so then I was like on the side in the way with people getting on it. The friends I knew were walking passing going. What happened I was lady gave away my seats us like you and then another lady. I really do think this one had frenchaccent. Does she was like I? We didn't you event. She like tiffany tapped on the computer and then she was like okay. We've got your back. I used to hear on the plane. So won't be embarrassing for the men sitting there so girl went on the plane. Got that man to get up and then he had to go to the back of the plane so I can sit down and I'll tell you something it was worth it. Thank you and that's the second time I've had someone removed from see both times questioned dream for the first time is a Delta and the lady was like closing the door and I was like can I get on. She went okay and she opened the door again. And then there was a man of my seat and then I went to the plate and I was like there's a man they're like gleefully was like you so then he went back there then the lady and his stamp by Allah. Yes not nice now. Whatever who cares you WANNA fly pay for one time I? This was like for Christmas. I don't know what I was thinking but I I got the times wrong. I thought I was bored at one thirty and it was like I was just sitting there. Jilin my aunt's house and it was like one and I was like damn I gotta go so quickly drove into the airport. I it was very small so I rushed through and And they had just closed the doors in a movie like banging on the glass door go light and it was the end like like kind of teetered up to the door opened. And she's like you know you're late right like I know but it's ABC repeated it. She's like I'm only doing this because his Christmas. And she like print me and she was like running down the hallway which is short and then. I I get to my seat. And then we're sitting in for like twenty minutes. Then why did you make me run like now? I'm sweating in front of all these people and they're like they had no idea that we going to take off anytime soon. It was fine. I love being told to run when it's not necessary. Yeah we're was maybe it was JFK. I was super late like the plane was leaving and like maybe like twenty minutes thirty minutes and she was like. I'LL HELP JOSE. Okay and then. She took me in front of the line to go through the x-ray machine. She was like okay. She was like a very small. White Lady. I gotta find her. She was great. I really wanted to get her a car. Those people are heroes. I like this and then as I went through the metal detector. She was going and I think she was screaming for a while. There was a someone who helped me in JFK. I can't remember what flavor was but he like same thing. Put me at the front of the line and like helped me out and I tweeted Delta and I was like please help this anything all the money he to say to you like we'll figure it out. That same thing happened to me. Yeah okay so I couldn't figure out why. Tsa Pre check wasn't on my boarding pass. So I went up to this lady this cute little black girl and she was like oh I can't. I don't know what's going on. Maybe Bonnie can help came over. It was a big white lady. She was like Y'all body in the house and then I'll take it right out who it was also like four in the morning like clearly class and she was like. I don't know this. She was like Brian McFadden. Burundi was like Bonnie's twin because Brennan came over still big and white and was like Brown and then Brennan started clicking clogging. Brennan figured it out and we were all like and then there were like your fun. Why are you still awake in the morning was GonNa Comedian? I never really tell anybody that but they were so fun they were like. Oh that's nice. What do you do and I was like a host of baking competition show and she was like you know a way to a man's heart is through his stomach or good dick suck and then both and then also literally through their heads back and I was like what are your names and I didn't see any other real names. I cannot remember them but I wrote it down to a delta. These three women are spectacular. They need to be recognized and data was like we'll do it and I said what are you GonNa do show me and I said show me the receipts. And they were like we don't do that. We don't tell you what we do for them and I was like Barron certificate. You'll these women cash. Yeah like very good. And they're like we will not disclose it and I was like fucking. I'll start a fight with you any day of the Week Delta help my friend love starting fights with airlines and that's the one you're loyal. I almost a million miles with them. I fucking loved argue with him. You flew South West recently. Served you fritos. Yeah I I like had a hookup like my dad's friend were says. South West South Carolina for some reason from La. The tickets were like nine hundred dollars and I was like. I don't want to do that for family and pay anything for my family. But I didn't want to be that this boy and so as the l let me ask this guy. He has this hook up and he's like. Oh Yeah I can get you some South West tickets. I thought that meant a guaranteed seat on the flight. That only meant like a standby tickets. I got to the airport and I was like these standby tickets to see and be like And then I just waited and then going to South Carolina was fine. I got going back was hell. I was in the airport the whole damn day and there was like weather problems here. And there trial rearrange. My flights flew to Houston. I guess that was my first mistake and I miss my I was. I think I was the one step away from getting on the flight. There was like some kid in front of me. Who had like a little tag like I'm flying by myself like get the kid on here and I was like what I need to go home. Should've kicked kid here though. No I'm kidding. Never kicked him down a flight of stairs. They weren't around then. I called you was leaked. Chill in the hallway and I was like I have like hours to kill and then eventually bother ticket yeah. I was like sincere Baya ticket. You have money. Yeah as what am I doing? I can be a poor person to stand by for a flame. Getting the got a huge. It was truly so wild. You wasted of money. Yeah probably just should've paid nine hundred dollars or whatever you want to see. Yeah you could have just flown there and back waste hours in my day truly do and yet the food was like fritos which is like a smelly chips smelly. Chistmas like feet and they're like everyone have a backup free and that was it. There was no other choices usually on Delta. They're like do you want banana cookies like multiple ribs. This is like we have one ship the whole flight. It's very like equalizer. Like you know. One has priority seating and I don't like the and there's no first class and I'm like so. How do we know who's better you know? There's no there's no car. No hot food is their booze. Probably but like a new rule player. You can't be why Opie you think there's a new yes before they announce it every been on recently. They're like pleased. You're not drink your own alcohol lie. I brought it to the really good. Yeah I feel like that's probably always been the robot. Maybe they need to start announcing it. I maybe he's only on your flights picture by the door. They're like Kohl's on she. She's got her little airplane bottle. I like ringing. I like bringing my sometimes. They're not quick enough like like they serve you. And you're like I need a refill. Sometimes they go and talk or whatever and I'm like ring any more skews me then. Sometimes they're too attentive. There was one time I couldn't get off our pour me so Comfort Plaza and the flight attendant. You can't remember his name of the K. He's really sweet. He's been on like a lot of New York to La plates and he recognized me. He was like you. Fly this rat a lot and I was like I do. I like you. You're like a good Disposition I said to you and he was like well. We opened a bottle of champagne in first class. Nobody's drinking at. Do you want some? I thought it was maybe like a glass. It was like three quarters of the bottle so I drank all of that and then when the cart was like going around the guy was like do you want something to drink and I was like dismissed. Sound like this my sound weird but I want a cup of juice and supper a couple of Some and then he went and I was like please. Don't judge me what my wants today. So then I liked that. And then he stopped by again gave me a double and he was like there. You go and then three doubles. So that's like six vodka on the rocks a glass of apple juice and three fourths of a bottle of champagne. And that's my airplane limit. Like I just your limit in general. There's no airplane. I was not okay. I watched forrest gump. Truly maybe an interim the monitor was wild. It's wild what you're sober but like drunk. I was like and then we've landed. Then we were stuck on the runway and I was like sitting there and I was like why don't I can't. I can't sit drunk. I can't sit. I can't I can't be still be free. Maybe scream we can get off this phone. No my screen. We could get off and then I was like. Oh No if I scream. They might take me to jail. It'll take me longer to get home so I was like quiet but just revenue. We got to the gate and then I remember getting off the plane and I remember getting into my left and remember the driver going. Are you all right and I was like I'm sleepy? She was like okay and then I passed out and I think I was snoring. Really hard or moaning. Because that's a fun thing. I do now since I've known you. I Moan since you know the whole time I've known you the whole time the whole ten years we've known each other. I've been known in your sleep. Yeah I didn't know this. You thought this was a new thing. Either this developed. I thought the moaning was new. I I knew I snored but I thought it morphed into moaning. I've been moaning for ten years. This is us you. You either snore or more. It's a you got a little platter options for when you sleep. It's okay I didn't know I saw with my eyes open and it's so scary so this year and I were on a train and I guess you were trying to sleep and I was just talking to you and you're like why are you talking to me and I was like I don't know because you're awake a you were like I'm not awake. Can't you see my eyes are closed? And they're not close when you sleep the whites of your eyes show and your lids flutter and it's terrifying. I had no idea ever told me. Then you asked your boyfriend and he was like yeah. Yeah I like Nicole so this weird thing I never close my eyes and I sleep. Did you notice. He's like I've been sleeping in tear. I did not know that you didn't know your boyfriend texted me the other night and was like have you heard from this year. No what's up. And he was like I haven't heard from her and two hours. She stopped texting me. She says she's going to a show. I know she loves coming. Home Right. After shows. She did not come home. She's not answering. I've done a flyer for the show is the show was yesterday and I was like go. Get our girl North Carolina otherwise. I wouldn't hop to my car going to your house and then Texan you. Please call him and then you were like. I'm having a drink at the bar and I was like us shit. She's having a trick he's like. Yeah yeah I figured it out and I was like okay. You're supposed to calm him down and I was like no. I thought maybe you went to a location with a promise of a show and then ended up with a rare treat like I was just so scared I felt really bad it because my usual behavior is to go home immediately. Enter anything I do. So so he wasn't my man was expecting B2b home and the show was what started eight. It didn't because we're in la and everything starts late and A friend of mine. An old roommate was at the show so I was like. Oh let's get a drink and I didn't realize how much time had passed so I miss a couple of calls from him and tax and then call meal and then I looked at my phone and I was like Oh there. They wanted to know where I was like. Like all your man and then I get home. And he was riled up like pacing doing push apps like try to play. Nba Two K. Doesn't really we're worried. Yeah it just seemed episode of Sex and the city where Kerry goes to Paris than big goes and meets with the girls and by good appears to have a chance to get her back. Marina leans then she like go get our girl and that's literally what I said also looks at the time line. It wasn't that much time had passed for the first call at thirty and then like when I responded it was eleven and then a lot happened in between our I mean it was like I left the house a couple of hours ago. I mean he's not rob but I should've texted been like getting a drink but I just didn't know the freak out would happen that fast. We were all freaked out. I was awake in North Carolina. That's good to know that y'all will have my back heal. Yeah if I go missing. I'll know who's come for me. I'll come for you. I don't think you'll know if I miss this is true. You don't tell me anything I don't know what state you're in sometimes you have not been in La for awhile. I'll be missing you. Were texting me in Napa. And you're like I with a bunch of people out now and I'm like why. Why are you what's happening? And you're like what what's going and then I called you after drinking from ten. Am to one thousand. And then. I don't think I made very much now. You did and I'm sorry. No it's okay. It was fun. Napa was wild people truly start drinking at ten. Am these wine tours. And then you're supposed to like spit the wine out and I was like no. Why would you ever? And then we figured out a good way to like stay up in between wine tours is to drink in between so we rented a party bus so then we drank vodka inbetween wineries and it was a great idea. Yeah you want to say said yes. Well it keeps you up you know. So there's no lull And then we went to this really fancy bar like we were on a party bus blasting my neck my back and we're all just like dancing and then my friend. Nick was like look at look at the server. Server had come from the restaurant was like what and then they put us in the basement. They were like there's a speakeasy down there. It was just a basement bar and I think we don't want these wild people in our fancy play. Yeah you're fucking nuts. White people imagine all of them or they're all of them. Are there every single white person we we? GotTa go to drink. They do and then there. Was this one wind tour that was unguided and I was like. That's not it. Not a tour guide at legs. There's there's like was a winery where they were like. Just walk around. It was not sure we were hoodwinked. Did you even have this audio things? Where no no okay? People free ball in it around. The House is so important these days which is why. I love Bomba's socks Bomba snakes. Those comfortable socks in the history of feet having rethought every detail of the socks. We wear to make something way. Better bombers are great they like squeezy your feet not in a tight way just like in a nice warm hugging kinder way and they like have arch support help which I am always on the hunt for need our support any way I can get it and these socks help with that. Bobby socks do more than keep your fee cozy. They help give back to the most vulnerable members of our community for every pair of socks. 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No that's okay we you're about about everyone Hey Guys Gamete oh so much for having me on whenever I listen to you guys talk because normally as three on the phone or texting or instagram or twitter we have multiple threads careful jealous. I can't throw my opinion high high high high high. What did you do last night? You left US early. You dipped out. I went to bed Smart thing I'm trying to get I'm trying to finish. I haven't seen seasons one two or three of drag race so I'm finished too so now I'm in the middle of threes so I like put it on Blake six minutes and fell asleep and literally woke up to now play the music and I gotTa Sleep. So there's an emotional. I was sick this okay. So speaking of travel yes I had the most hell travel to get here. I literally get to Montreal. I was in Rome and to get to Montreal because all this like weather in the northeast was fucking stuff like well. We can get you to Montreal like there's a flight leaving from JFK that we can move to get you there at ten thirty and I was like show at ten thirty six people but So she's like all right. Well here's the deal. Do you think you can do this? I was like all right so I flew from Rome to Barcelona Barcelona to Amsterdam Amsterdam. Jfk LEFT JFK. Went through customs. Got In the cab wind Laguardia and then came to Montreal and Ryan like this is me like the Montreal like on the tarmac a La Guardia and ever had their windows shut except this one woman who knew the entire window open so she could read her shit love novel mad. But that's too much travel. I would have stayed in Rome and then I got the flu so no wonder SIC. I became an uncle yesterday. Citing I know that sick from from travel down seats and stuff. No did you see me. Camel travel that China. I mean I don't wear the mask but I do wipe down everything. She's you guys you know. Put on gloves. And then she put on a mask and then she literally not. She wiped down everything everything she had she was like. I don't care if I look stupid. And then she's wiping. Everything's and then the woman behind her like. Can you do me next? It's Naomi Campbell. Yeah she's down your seat. You know. She thought she was being cute. Funded she looks wild. She looked insane and then she was just wiping everything down. Meanwhile she's running through the airport like I love these snacks. Oh this snack snack. That's not going to be germs. Should we bring him up here? All right yeah. She's them all right Emma from net flicks and go hosting a podcast with Matteo. Ever well Thank you guys so much. Thank you for being here. Course is the everybody I told. Matteo is to get more copy. And he said maybe less coffee because coffee. Yesterday you're probably dehydrated to not women choice. Those roses I like the idea of less copy too because I was like. How do I do that? No more always drink more water. That's okay mcaulifee has water. Yes but it has caffeine. Which dehydrates you go on seeing the wheels but wouldn't that just like cancel each other out so coffee. Dehydrates you but then there's water so you're I'm following copy. Can't dehydrate you more because the coffee dehydrate you because of the caffeine but then there's water in it so then it's a it's a it's a it's a wash. Yeah much watering coffee. That those what water in there there's water it's like one her beans and some of them that make mix. It's like having a beer and then the water doing cocaine half Part Caffeine. That's what gives you a little pep. I've never made a cup of coffee correctly when we are in Costa Rica. Do you remember. I made it explicit. Yeah why put does you may coffee at Your House. No John Does may remain. John Does the. I've stated your John as they may be less. She got a boo so my my roommate. John makes the coffee in the morning. He makes you copy every morning even if you don't wake up at the same time. Yeah so the I make the coffee for everyone so you always have someone in meals and stuff. You figured out how to how to do that. Yes I have nice gaming. Make me copy. Make me food I like it. I'm still really stuck on this coffee. Thanks well google it or just without Google people right. Can you guys Google? It does way we are? We get dehydrated you. Yes he does and someone else do. Does coffee hydrate you? Yeah and it's I'm kin but if you have one cup of coffee two cups of water then you're back to normal like my dad's a math teacher see and you guys talk to him about that. Well that that equation but it's like today we're learning about life because it's like. Oh you have an answer. Thanks SAM I a rate. Adri your fucking face. It sounds like a new like like club or something like well. We're going to a drug like your net hydrating. What's that does sound like a drug Raipur way? Okay you to our best friends. Yes Yeah Really. Good friends show on. Yeah but a best friend for sure. Why are you both about calling? That's a good word. Why are you guys wasn't roll girl? Jeff I gotta get net hydrate dishes. What call each other best friends best friends? That are your best friends and we. I think we have a really good best friend of you. Guys say you guys are best friends. Best friends period. Yeah Wow we're ten years old. Yeah wow best friends for a long time. We used to wear half hearts the FRY. Yeah I think I was the end. I can't remember. I think you'll be fry. Yeah I mean I would do that with Matteo half heart. Yeah what would your heart say man one. Yeah I would say Mariah. Yeah okay so your friends too. I remember the creek years ago and we were comedy places and then there was like four people in the audience and I am onstage was like Oh my God. You're so funny I've never. I've never been on hiatus or something it's like going back. I was in Boston for a while. Whatever and then we just became. I don't know we just became friends. And then we kept talking. We're like Oh Keith. And the girl had it was a podcast. They had us do like a monthly thing. Hey you to host a podcast just for fun like sure and then we had so much fun doing it. We should continue to do this. We have and it's been a blast. Yeah I would say in comedy if I stopped doing comedy. It's where I like. Look at it like comedy friend than real friends like I would say Mateos now. Like a real friend yeah. We're like friends that don't stress. There's certain friends that can like stress you out or there's there's no stress you know not at all really well dismutase literally. Twenty minutes ago he went. How about less up till six? Am All day. That was the problem right me with a cup of coffee yet. A bottle of water and you said should I get more coffee and it was like less coffee. Coffee is being a good stress stress. Man Sometimes oh I think I stress you out sometime. Do I stress? You know loss. Our friendships right now. I is the last episode. Our own podcast. And you guys pair off your own. We'll find that. Call our guest on a podcast. Apparently they were supposed to have like four segments and we just completely dominated it. I don't think the host spoke once and they really Matteo. We were having fun. Yeah Ecole doesn't know anything about cake. And she hosts the show specifically about cake and she's trying to find that interview with Afterlife Habit. I okay can I please read it so Nicole right so she hopes nailed it right and so we were. I was windy colder in New York. She was doing a bunch of presents. Just like Matteo. Do you WANNA come with of course so we went to Wendy Williams and then we went to was it for L. it was. I believe it was Elle magazine. Split on Wendy Williams right. I saw that picture come about. How did you even? How did you even know how to do that physically? I've been taking a pole dancing class. Ooh and then I started taking up flexibility class now and then I was able to do split until I was twenty two before I started like really like just eating for sport and and Fun Party trigger then. I was like I can't do anymore. Got Too big. But then I was like taking this flexibility class that she was like just like push yourself a little harder and I was like okay and then I was like oh I got my back when we were in the same class and then I was like back got back. Yeah so if I stretch pretty well I can just do it now. So for Wendy Williams. Is You know you were going to do that? Split yeah the producer assimilate before any interview people do pre interviews so during the pre interview. The producer was like. It's on your instagram. That you can do a split. Wendy's really excited about that. She's going to ask you to do as like. Oh okay. I don't know I'm wearing a suit. And they were like figure it out. Now she's GonNa add like all right. I don't have it bookmarked but I will find A. I WANNA do a split teach you take for. I'm not flexible at all. Probably A COUPLE OF MONTHS. You have to keep doing pigeon poses. Scorpion poses have to be a pigeon or a Scorpion Scorpion. So you're down for a pigeon a Scorpion. You lean back then pull your leg behind. Your head was like hitching Scorpion Chicken. Dan's the flexibility clinical was in and I was trying to do like move from one to another. There's a person in between me and Nicole and Nicole leaned her face around the person to laugh at me like I was trying my hardest. I don't even know if I've ever been able to do splits and so I'm trying to do it. And this would be a safe space right where we like leg long legs. Make me laugh so hard because you look like one of those things that a car wash lobby. Yeah like when you run. I don't think I laugh harder long. Lives yeah all right. We've found it title. Nicole buyer doesn't know that much about all right. Dan goes the interview. Now keep in mind. There's like at one point. It was Nicole interviewer and then me and Nicole's friends just started like friends from High School John and Nick so all right interview. You don't care about whether cakes cedar succeed or fail Nicole. Here's a thing. I just eat food. I'm not looking for pictures of it unless it's like tasty food at a restaurant. I'm not heavily into baking. Okay well on your list. Favorite things to eat whereas K. tenth and fifty ninth well. I love a traditional pound cake. That probably would be number five have you. Have you ever had real pound cake a pound of each ingredient? Yeah that's why they call it out if you had to impress someone a first date. What kind of Cape would you bring them? This is L. Magazine. I would bring them a bunket because it's got a big hole in their dick and then eat around it and suck it. You want to print ads third question. I WANNA print that very badly Nicole. I'll say something normal. Okay that's that's the answer. I won't change then. This is my favorite. When we started interrupting she goes. If you had to be cake cake would you be? It'd be a cake. I guess that'd be a chocolate cake. Or maybe a burnt. Hake then friend of Nicole. This is me and said what about a three tiered rainbow is she. She said burnt cake. Friend says why not something. Better friend of Nicole? You're so colorful in your life. So wonderful other Nicole you're burnt cake with no frosting Berry. Try Then Nicole. Yes very dry burnt cake no frosting the hosted or the lady goes okay. Whoa goes what can you tell me? What is it cake? Nicole is a spongy bread with processing Kramer founded on it. You slice it up. Friend Nicole just slice it up forever. It's been known that you cut the cake. Nicole by your right eye login. Have no idea what about anything about a friend of Nicole slice up that warm cake Nicole. Buyer this interview. I've ever done. Because you have to transcribe this right men. She goes so you still don't know a cake is Nicole. I told you cake is Brad and use it up. It looks like you're a swing grids okay. Let's see that at that. Oh Yeah how did you someone Brennan? How did you get this job? And then Nicole said you must be used in cakes and she goes no. It was donuts. I don't know anything about anything. I was a secretary for a while. And they were like do you not know. I'll learn and they were. They were like what do you think you bring this job and it said I know how to look busy and they hired me all right. Speed round cake POPs. Yes no Nicole. Sometimes the answers to win there too wet. They're not good. I cake POPs. Yes CARROT CAKE. Yes or no. Yes hummingbird cake. Whoa no. I don't know what that is. What's a hummingbird cake? Pineapple in it no agent food cake. No Alaba cake cake. Oh that's like chocolate cake. Oozes in the middle Have you ever had a she goes? Yeah I just learned what those are when they have a hard topic crack him open and there's goop in the middle. That's creme Brulee cold. Not a suit Larry. Wait wait a minute. Can You? Ten facts about cake and then your other know she can't and then it goes. Yes you can you bake it? That'd be crossing or jam in the layers. And then she goes. I don't think that's true. Yes it is. Also you've got dry cake that's Jaakko says it can also be a sponge. You cut it. I said you smell it. You see it you chasing guys. I guess what cake is there. You go thank you. It is the greatest interview of all time before it's like you just have facts wisdom by all the time. I'm like that name. This is our guy who's just like how you doing trivia how I'm good. Oh yeah so. It's like accurate backs. Yeah I love jeopardy but also when I watched jeopardy I do shot the wrong thing all the time and I'm always like darn. I think we should listen to voicemail and we all answer this person. You have voicemail man. They do. Yeah we talked about before you got here. Nicole Sneeze. Three times fell on the ground before Emma goes. You Look Really. Pretty Nicole goes you. Are I wish that wasn't true? I did new so hard. I rolled right out of my chair and you held it. You stay on the you didn't bounds up. No stayed there and kind of graceful network okay. Let's hear voicemail. Yeah for the show. Sometimes he will write emails to us or like. Leave a voicemail about a friendship question advice. Ernest do our best ability or email addresses. Nicola sheer friends elbowing. It's it's fine. It's we'll just do it later and then there's a phone number it's okay it's okay. We don't have to do that right now. Okay let's talk to your. We don't have to say it right now. Listen to the voice mail and left for us and we'll answer the question and we'll figure out the other stuff later pay. It's going to be another interview with the lake. Nicole not podcast now. It's warming okay. Let's hear it all right. Can we get to the voicemail? Please all Nicole and this year I love you both so much I have been dealing with a friend to. We've been friends and really close friends for about four years and about a year ago. She started being really creepy. Do that says creepy stuff to me and touches me fully. And so I told her. Hey I think this guy is a creep. And there's a lot of red flags and she decided to in many ways prioritize me and other friends Or prior for over me and other friends and then recently bought it up. Turn that she really wasn't acknowledging a lot of my feeling around things and she told me that she felt judged because I talked about no boarding and straight people got makerfield. Unsafe think anyway to salvage relationship at all or any different folks kind of feeling like me and I don't know where to go. I love the twist at the end. Yeah talks snowboarding. It's like Yeah Right. Renew its talking. Like and then the snowboarding in that show. Aides say she didn't feel safe. Did you say that I thought I think she said she's talking about sn? Talks about straight people and snowboarding and she doesn't feel safe. Is that what she said? I think you said you like a friend. Snowboard you state. That's a little tough but I think since she like told her friend how she felt that now she can remove herself from the situation. She doesn't have to hang out with creepy guy and it's not like you can talk to your friend and say I need you to break up with us. That's just not going to happen. That person personnel to break up with that person on their own accord. Yeah but I think you have the choice to not hang out with him. Yeah I think she already did like what she can do right now. You were honest you said what you wanted and what you saw and if your friend can't hear it then then that's on them they gotta figure that out that's Nice But Yeah I think I think the honesty is always the best thing in communication. And she's already taking that first step and hopefully the friends will hear it but sometimes it takes people a minute to receive the message so maybe one day the friend will figure it out or maybe that friend will just be with the group for the rest of her life and what about skiing. Yeah maybe they should take skiing instead of snowboarding. Yeah that sounds good. It's so tough with the friend is in like you know if someone if you're in love with someone you like someone you're just like blinders on to one to hear anything negative about it. You might think the friend is like resentful relationship with the personnel. Getting but then. The trick is if the person's sending her creepy messages or saying anything like with a paper trail should she like show her show her friend. Hey Look I'm not just saying this out of hate like he I I hate to. I want you to be happy. I support you in a relationship really like make it clear that that's not what's going on. Then like anything about snowboarding street people I guess not triggering for that girl again so many more questions but great betrayal because but then I mean that's tough because like the person might then project onto you all the things upset about like they might get jealous at. The guy reached out to her. You know what I'm saying. So do you think she should show and be like here? He actually did do this. I say yes I swear. Yeah I think there's a paper trail you should absolutely choose. It is a risk because what if she's more mad at the friend and the boyfriend right. If that is your friend you do want them to get out of that relationship. Like what if he just like you? Look cute or something. I mean. If it's just you look cute than maybe. It's got to be more than that snowboarding. Maybe that's where he loves. No great the snow and the girlfriend doesn't maybe but we did figure out. Our email address is Nicole to share a g mail DOT COM. And then if you WANNA leave us a voicemail it is four to what you had a hard time remembering. It wasn't just nice this year. Also did it remember everything you read the email again to shoot she notes. It's a first in first names in the number is four two four six four five seven zero zero three. We're running out of time. So let's do one more question than we have to get out of here. Oh we know I'm well thank you for having a question in your head. Thank you for asking a question. Thanks for having me thank you. We really appreciate it for coming later. Well it's been best friend. Our podcast on ear will and bye-bye.

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Episode 68: Vertigo

The Patdown with Ms. Pat

55:57 min | 7 months ago

Episode 68: Vertigo

"What's up, St Louis. Issue is pat. I'm on my way to helium comedy club. July thirtieth to August I. Get your tickets at helium dot. com I'm on my way to Saint Louis get ready to Saint Louis. Ain't shit else to do. Come laugh with me Babe Buffalo. I'm on my way. Damn and AIN'T GONNA. Quarantine for fourteen days either I'm on my way August six. Nine yard and keeping me for no fourteen day bringing you. Get Two tickets I'm going to be a helium comedy club Buffalo. I'm on my way. August seeks through tonight first time in Buffalo. Get your tickets. We can laugh ourself. Hey, it's boy, Chris, if pat-downs ever made you laugh, the join our patriotic and support US get bonus, content, a t shirt, or an autograph copy of Rabbit Miss Pats Autobiography Visit Ms Pat Comedy Dot Com for the link to the Patriot and while you're there, join our facebook group. Welcome to another episode of the PAT. Now he'll crease in. And we'll talk about my as I've been in the hospital. That's why you don't see no steps on my fucking phoebe. Went, down down down I can't say A. Branch was in distress. Some real distress beat myself. Here about after his yeezy. took. Best. Fitting real fat not. GonNa play with. Him Live. On real crime equal. Again. Going to spend. You. Cut Earth but. Everything. Fun Full Taste. Alpha annoyed your this computer. So let me let me say. Anybody out there. My started his own. Thing we walk right. And I was in third place for the loan. She has an elaborate scheme to get out of it. So if you notice I haven't had any movement is because. I was in the hospital, so I started this whole. Thing. I'm going to get healthy well. I always suffer from something called Vertigo Yeah. I'll probably heard me say if you ever see me, do focus. Stand up, which is running my mouth. Always talk about Vertigo but this time I woke up. He hit me like a fucking Brie. And if you don't know Vertigo is is when you hit really Diese so I'll Waco with I go first of all I put court in him and some of the fuck. You can name jump John Paul is your fucking John Paul. I think you got one hundred thousand steps. Let me check while I'm here I think. He got like one hundred thousand fucking steps, and we all just gave them sneaky. You can win. We'll give up, but almost. Bid On the treadmill and just let that bitch go. Today I'm surprised, but shot up to Kansas for posting the lake photos of the group though she felt the John Paul up to one hundred and twenty-one MS, genie is up to ninety seven, Nikita be calling on fair down, and I think a might be next delays, so I wake up at two three or close losing you. Hospital for four days so. We need to check on the last. Five! So! I ended up in hospital. Dion fucking, but I got this all wake up at three o'clock because getting for. And so I get up and take a piece in and I come back to the room, but wold wrongful hoop, just real quick one time and I was like okay. Just calm down beach, vertigo by the folk up so I get back to the bed, and I sat out in the fucking room. Take off like a fucking roller who? And when your head is spinning, like that is like you know, you look. What is it called loosening loosening you room I really spinning, but that's what you're fucking is see and that fucker role where round around grabbed their cover, and I'm used to Vertigo, but I never had these bay so I tell my husband just vertigo set out and I said No. This is a new type of Vertigo right here I got real cold, and I just started pouring sweat like I was in a son, and that's a fucking now I want, and my husband's the most common for he ain't going crazy. He Ain't movie called the Thakin now on one eight. Because you know, I took a shower night. Thank so I got him. A raggedy draws I'm comfortable. You don't want Lebron and came one sexism's. To holes in them so. She got on the Hog Hogan t shirts. What you're GONNA do brother. MAS Say. He. When he pulls a parent I, can't I see 'cause like my eyesight just fucking one away. So he on the doors. And so. So. He helped me with my pants. So and I said I can't see, but I walk out one. Those I love you. Tell me you want. You can stand up with Sony mcgeough you stand. They put me on a stretcher when I get to the hospital. The doctor was like well. You need. It'll take a year. And they give me up and I started gagging, throwing up in peace netted same time, and so Dr Piecemeal folk out because he was like I'm sending. which and I was like this ain't the same fucking vertigo. This is something different, so then I think I'm having a stroke right, so they opened. My. fucking my husband, say my our just going. Woo Woo, Woo, Woo Woo like wish. So. Close as I see what I need to see. So they literally in my chest, Guy Real, it felt like a fat bitches sitting in my chest, so as I came. Came resort inside of all kind of she'd gone heart attack stroke, so they give me and they give me some medicine in. It comes down. I'm fucking drought and I land in some tapped me on there and these excuse me as An Ip. Catechal I really can't mind. She said Oh. You can medium is paying and say yeah. She's I knew that was you. Can I get autographs? A bitch I can see the. The fuck away from me I. Can't he focusing my eyeballs out of control, this might be the last one. Soda ended up the ended up in hospital hospitals in hospital four five days and and I'm still suffering from a now. That's why you haven't seen a lot of movement out of me. Because I have the rest I got you so bad. This time I literally have to go through fiscal therapy, so they had to go on my ear and I didn't realize how for the ear was. these Malachy says Oregon in our ear. Molecules associate so when you're vertical mess up then little hairs they stick and details on the Phoenix in sickness to your brings or some shit like. And, so what happened was. Stuck, so they went in my ear. LIQUID IS JEALOUS STUFFING YOU'RE! Stuck on jealousy because you'd be really fucked up so bar with day three in hospital I started to be able to open my eyes staying light, but. On the last day I had to do some physical therapy itself and what type of therapy when I get out this and the later Bay Sleigh, I can't lay flat turned me. Count of light me up. Oh my God! I serve you. Don't put me back down everything spending, and when you when you spend, you really scrimmages. Your body makes you feel like you're It is the worst feeling that you vomit and you. fucking Piss is like he losing control of Your Argon. That's how bad I got it now. I can't even drive right now. I literally cannot drive I have vertigo one time in my entire life, I was probably five or six and I just I remember. I was trying to go to the bathroom. And I remember getting to the door handle, and then literally like it was like the whole room like flipped. Upside down and by bound. You. I understand why she throws up because it feels like your body makes you feel like you're spinning, even though you're not at all like. That that that feeling like you're on the little to world like it's like that, but it's super intense and I remember passing out and be like what? I've never had it again, but I was like what the fuck was that for her to be in the hospital for. Four days because I day five days a week. I can't like. I know that minor feeling had that one. I can't imagine feeling like that for five days, I cannot. And I'm still suffer from like. Today's a good day. Yesterday was not a good day, so I can't like I just can't I got they said I have? Optical. Vertigo I can straight if I look side to side it fucks me up so. I, do take medication for nausea dizzy and you're not take something for the Vertigo. To black trump supporters. Nausea Dizzy. Folk. Yeah, they ought to cover that and trump border, but. It was. It was a modified was. Fuck me because I'm just like I know how I got it. So I started his thing. Hey, guys, come, join me because I got an Apple Watch and I WANNA walk. A baby daddy gave it to. Late for to go. Like I said John Paul walked so mustard day and I. Just wanted to Outdo Court records. I'M GONNA. Keep up with John Positive. John Paul Crazy here in the UK to be clemen mountain, goat backs and she. Should go bash how Jason Sheep Everywhere I. Don't know what the fuck over doing, but I'm trying to outdo quality I wouldn't sit down. I walked I walk for miles. Five miles at the par came. Home walked another two miles either how any calling me and colleges income? Nobody could kid jump power will. Jump passes I'm just walk around Alan. Guinness stabs getting instead of getting instead of our. Nine the kitchen island the kitchen allen. Got At two o'clock in the morning caller move I moved caller move our mood and early childcare pay USO, he damn near kill me and I ended up in hospital and it was. It was not fucking fun, so so when I said that I had a heart attack and so. When they realize I wasn't having a heart attack him to this heart. Monitor their piece. And then they said well. Maybe she had a stroke Dieter Dr Tell I think she had a stroke so the next day. They gave an MRI MTI PPI. Air Thank wasn't. He realized decent insurance crazy nuts in here. Which is? Sales are. So. Plays Your titties every five minutes. Let a man unstick is ball's from his thigh hot in here. He's. You know he calls Whiteboard you dig it. Would probably be and so they know I didn't. Know Common. Common so. Why I'll shut the fuck. You. Stop to sell his nuts, so let me say they coming home. Played Yourself. Come in a room and they had a stroke right and so I'm starving she. I'm starving. They don't know what type of Diet they won't me on so to stay where I'm from. Therapy and I gotTA. Make sure you didn't have a stroke. And he coming out with two little packs, cracker right and it's a war. GotTa move stroke to his. These smell like toad. So. He's I I need to see you chew. It was granted. I love Frank Okay. You May. Greg, Cross Nick I had no Gimme out emotion. I'm just to give you the water. Dry. He said well. You didn't have a stroke. I said I'm. So. That's why you have seen me moving much because my has been in the hospital for about five days, and I got home this weekend and hopefully I'll be back cupping attic, so I can't drive for the rest of the week. And it was the guy was like you're going to be down for about six years to work for Vertigo. I'll go and get dizzy when they stop stopped. Tell a joke when it stopped by telling Joan. So. I didn't know what tied messaged. You guys and said Hey. Are we still meeting four on Monday? Deanne responded no. She's in the hospital. I go. Oh, no something serious and he goes no her. Equal Liberties fucked up. So I call you. Call me or I called you go. You're right. Chris? I can't see you know. When black people get rich, they go blind. Yes she goes. A shuffling around this hospital like Ray Charles. Because I feel my way to the only. You know was the you lar-. You see the bay, so you kinda learn where everything is, and you got these. These nurses they in the small is bitches to pull your off the toilet, so I said Ma'am. Just let me. bitches regard. And they put me on a covert flow right Oh. Let me tell you we're gonNA, take a break, and then I'm GonNa. Tell you this. As. Folks adapt to changes in world. We're going about most of online more than ever so just get ready for it you an ECOMMERCE seller and you're ready to meet the demands of all new deliverers culture be ready. 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The whole five days I would doubt. Over saying but Dakota, Co.. Pay Them. No But He got talk. He's I gotta how surgeon in three weeks I can't be cold with FLO. He got the home so. They put me they give me the Cobra takes. Read out that I had this episode of peace and no myself in fucking seeing just having a hard time. They little white later only I just know she white 'cause I grabbed him, and she said I cova tests, and it's a longest cute timothy. Skinny is I never Q. Like this. issue down my nose and my reflex Bitchy, her chair so hot. I say Ma'am I hit. You Re Flake. You told me you were going at my nose like that. You hit her. Well? I didn't mean to you I. Just Bam. Get at my know. I'm laying up there and Rachel status can see. She said I'm going. To do now she is. Taste. Jack. Treated her like an open Mike Comic. Mari flair hit the little girl. Chess Oatman saw as. You come on. dopey seven key kits knows. That she. s she heard that. I've heard horrible. It is hard. It's not that bad I've heard it's horrible. Horror. Ask You almost feel like a roach you're. Up, you know it's a relatable. Yeah I'm like. Shit I WANNA never felt that down now. That's a whole nother set of. Viruses, yeah, but I'm like. So, you feel anything. So. They put me on a cold. Here, and why I'm on a college flow. I'm said. Everybody coming out any light. They liked that real movie out. What was outbreak? When ahead on it? Has and there was just like day. Until the I test negative. Then they start coming our regular mask on. On a cold floor because my eyes closed the whole time, right? Glasses so I couldn't see what was wrote on the board. And I, actually while you walk around with that outfit on I'm I'm Monaco inflow. She's like yeah, well. WHAT THE FOCUS! My date three a day, fo-, she's all. We tested comeback. So you got tested when you first got there or they tested me for everything I had an MRI and heard. It's been taken longer to get the test. Hospital but I am I that was really fucking scary? So you know that's when they put your big as machines get one from my faintness him. Yeah, and they They sound like they join you a whole new Scott talented. Like, if you? With me by me being by me, already having you know businesses she. Came is club, and then I kind of opened my eyes. Trying to be knows. You. fucking machine and your whole body. It was it was Kinda weird. CLAUSTROPHOBIC. yeah, but I kept. My eyes closed so I wouldn't act I wonder what they do. People really can't go in on. I think there's like more like open is now like they've tried to create machines, but like I've heard when they go in there and they're claustrophobic they they freak out. Yeah. I used to be held across claustrophobic like big to. What did I say? It. I told them. I was like the reason why I think I. It was because I was just I over heated and when I got, everything checked, they were like. Yeah, you're normal. Your levels are normal. Everything seems fine and I think it was because I had a pinched nerve. which is what was causing the majority of my chest pain issues. Which? The overheating, I think freaked me out, and that's why I passed out because I just get like super hot and like. It heals on its own. Mostly because I have shitty shitty posture, I can go to physical therapy, but I don't WanNa. Pay For it so. Just gotta sit up straight every now and then. Is He see? Reminded I do that, too where it's like. Oh, correct posture here I'll tell you when I when I out what opened my eyes on day four, and now I have a sofa. Husband like a little sweet, so I, look on the, so. I got all of these Beagle. Ole Granny Pampers Hulu fuck is that. You know me being black, I, said who I know, need some Powell's. Meanwhile Hafer jokes. Are Up panty liners. No some big air. English Bitch, get rid easy. They would like three pro. What the thaw. Did you have them on no I. Put this shit on me I needed she. They try to give me the bed. Pass man, my my johnny. Carry out on the. Come out and play. She's not a Portland and. Tell everybody who are? Every dot became so i. You a comedian yet, Dr. I ain't now today I'm GonNa. Seek Nickel as The pretty good joke you got. I'm GONNA CU when I get to conjugate. Tell us a joke now. I didn't get. That was so terrible. Awkward. They should have like digger. You the joke. That's why I'm here. Don't talk about. That that's why been out of commission, yeah, because I- vertical, but I'm better than this using the hospital. I was on facebook jail. How was your weekend? It was great. It was white, so uneventful made a lot of money. A lot of privilege and I'm just kidding. Why were you in facebook jail and Reported my sheet. He going to say every other day. Isn't this the second time in like? Is the third time so I got I got a bay in the first time for like twenty four hours. The second time was three this time it was seven. I they give you a list of all the things. You've got banned for the first. Three bands I got banned for reposted and laughing emojis. They don't even show you the video that reposted so I have no idea I guess they WANNA get community standards I. Don't know what the fuck video. It was so I can't be like my bad. The the first twenty four hour on I said Americans are fucking idiots, and that's what got me saying. That's crazy. Because Americans are fucking idiots, the second the three-day band. I don't remember what I did. I I think. I posted a video that they didn't like and then this time I move my buddy. Sydney does a facebook live show and they were talking about blow jobs and he has his. Sex doctrine she was talking about women giving blow jobs, and how to get better I was like. Yeah, because women aren't as good as think they are. That guy flag for hate speech. Because women aren't as good. Don't you hate when the truth is hate? Has True. You should have been flag what that women aren't good. Give hate as they think they are. Do aren't as good at fucking as we think we are. that. Somebody else said that they didn't get. What a thing is that most women? Do that probably have had a bills paid and you fucking up their. Their employment by saying that they're not good what you like to go to work and being and give snitched on by your supervisor. To supervisor. I'll put the matter. Matter. I! So thin line. Mouth talking about people you don't know. No? No, he knows. A DICK SECTOR LAP. Some are not as good as you say are, but I'm not rude about it I. Don't say anything right to your face. Just post online don't name names. That's really a bullshit reason to get like you've got I was. So I said that at like eight o'clock and then at two forty. It was like yeah, we this has been playing. That was so yeah. Waited a whole six hours I've had stuff where I've gotten bands. I've been twice so once I what it was you when you fucking threaten me to. You report me it. You remember that picture that you took a let me see if I can fuck him. Find It. You did something. Don't you? Blame the White Man. You, got it. So? I got banned years ago for something I had posted years before, and they had just implemented a system where they were able to scan all the images, and I had a Meema that like three years after I posted that got me, and so I got a one day ban, and the next time was like a few months later right before the twenty eighteen election's I said I, said something I used I said Jews but I said in a historical context, and they took me out for thirty days beyond the election. They were not play in with me. They're relying. You're a libertarian needed to get of here. So the next, the next one's a thirty day. You'll get a thirty day. So. My first one was march sixth. I don't remember what that was four and then June twenty seven to twenty nine, and then the fifteenth. You've got somebody reporting. Oh Yeah, absolutely! Yeah, so the very first thing on here was. Jokingly, doing it in the group like when we first started doing. Remember I think you'll like I'm GONNA report you for hate speech. I guess they took that seriously. Oh, and maybe they're following. So L. Well, so I found out that he was banned and I knew how long has banned was and I got in the group and I said Dionne has. Eight hours to respond to this quiz mind. Out it and he didn't, so she's mine. No, I did respond now I. You said Twelve and the you cut it to four and I responded within the four hours. because. He was on facebook jail. I literally got out like an hour before. Dame it. I'm surprised people don't flag me. Get Show ass can't get you banned. They can ban you for anything like and it just depends on how you say I think we've got. His. My is like three months. Four months left until the election and they're going to be so so so tight on all these that they removed a lot of. Crazy ship out people go out and make those pages. Drunk. They just removed the sheet tunnels they they don't even have so. When you do get flagged, you can challenge it. But when you challenge it, they're like Oh dude covert nineteen. We don't have as many people so they just they like. We're not gonNA. Take they just. You, don't get to UN. On be banned, I guess India because they don't have enough people working. Yeah, but they're taking no chances. They'll take everybody down for anything on Facebook, because I don't WanNa, get blamed. NOT, only! He just lost a lot of fucking. Is Money remember a couple months ago? Who was that left him? Everybody left his ass because he wouldn't. All of that trump ship and that racist. She go on facebook Coburg soccer. Yeah, he. was seven billion. Dollars Worth Advertising One day. Yeah, so I don't envy their task. Because if you watch Jack Dorsey from twitter on Rogan, you get a better person for like the scope of what they're dealing with, and there away small like three hundred people at twitter, and there's like billions of people that use this shit, but like facebook has literally like two point five three billion people on it like that's I can't even imagine like I run a couple websites. Over my head like imagine having two point five billion years half the planet uses your Shit, and like it's just an impossible task to expect them to predict what is going to be outrageous months for now. You know like their stuff that you can. You can probably guests that like. Okay. These foreign actors are coming in from Russia to do this thing, and they say these things like some of that's probably predictable, but like. I I somewhat give them a pass because it's just like the task of managing these social media companies. If you're the CEO probably technically is just incredibly difficult. I mean that there's there's security division is huge and the the content people have to be. Probably the second largest, yeah, just a filter through all that bullshit like that's a monumental. To. Have you ever read the stories? So there's all these stories from like facebook like facebook twitter Youtube specially more than any of them. The people that go and review the shit so like you. That's automated, but then you request to review in a person looks at that and so. These people who work in the Review Department that look at the stuff all day long developed PTSD after like a couple weeks, just because of the horrific shit, people say that they see an images or videos on youtube on facebook like if you're one of those reviewers like. Horrible the Shit. That's on there that people see. My brother follows a instagram channel like. Just to most disgusting like animals fucking up other animals like faces of death. Do you remember that like that? So I saw the that white terrorist down in was either Australia New Zealand who went in the mosque and yeah. I've seen that video. Yeah I saw. That was just fucking. Why would you WanNa Watch that I saw it on Instagram, and it was down about two hours later because people reported it, but like somebody has to watch that video of people getting killed so like I'm sorry like the mean tweet. They don't really give that much of a shit about so, which is why like it's Sorta, so it's like when you know that everybody's watching you before the election because you're blamed for trump getting elected for some odd reason. Instead of Hillary, being a candidate. Like they're gonNA. Just go over time like there's GonNa. Anything, we'll take you down. We don't need you on here. He had lose back hair when he lost their seven billion dollars in one day. That stuff comes back though like they do as do for the press, but then like after everybody moves on and forgets they all. Go back and start advertising again. And that's why so important to hold these people accountable. That's why it's so important. You say you spend your money. It's like. If, you're really against that Shit, then you have to be vigilant until you. Ain't never seen nobody vision about their money then fucking around really. She walked in the room one day. No Papa John's. Why bit we like Papa John. He's racist okay. But they got check. Gosh Agnew. He's trying mad. Shack is on every advertisement. The General One day was the general and their Papa John's icy hat, and like man I ain't buying no Moshe itch check. It's like when you when your company's in trouble. You're being Jonah Combat I. Don't think I ever Papa John Not because. Papa John Nonprofit John's sheet. A piece of what is good piece of the family okay. I like Papa John. Piece was one of my favorite. The the. Deals yes, the owner is what turned me off their. He got well, he's he was such at how back in the day when he first started I really was rooting for gas mileage. Businessman came out of nowhere with a piece ideal you know. When he jumped on him, bob better better ingredients. He had to change his slogan. One time I thought that was unfair. I always cheer for the Public Don Guy and he just got so be where I guess it was more about the. Always more about the money. When you get rich, I guess where he act like he didn't give a fuck about people. She he was saying yeah, and he didn't like saying he's board meeting. He will use the N. word, and and that's why I left. It's not because he said the and word is because that board didn't do anything about it like that's why stop it was like. He can be as racist as he wanted, but y'all to check him, and nobody did anything. It took a while to check him, and I was like Y'all plea if you just get rid of him and after they get rid of him. After they got rid of him a little bit any says. This no Papa John's for me and I learned have had papa John in two years. I used points. I'm Kinda Mad. And piece is shit. I mean I prefer domino, but they take too long and never get your order. Right I work for Dinardo's and I love them. Hardly Pizza Yeah. We probably go fuck this shit up so if if we do. We'll fix it. We probably we'll make. Whole slogan. All paved the road if we. Like we fuck up your pizza. We got pizza insurance because we probably GONNA fuck you. Commercial Senate. We're going to bring it back to the house. Just like you ask for the first time. I? Think Greg's like day of Domino's. Why is it so hard to get it right? The first one atop so we eat dominoes. That's what we eat a lot of the I mean you know whenever I order out, but. They say they say it's shitty piece, but I like it. Yeah like Papa John's is always the best of the low tier pizza joins. You know like I love D'Amato's, but I also worked there for three years. When you work at a food place. Oh, it's like. Not a garbage can. Place you took me Markle's Monica and Garin annoy Indian place over there in Avon is really fucking. Let me excellent I remember the day I. Quit Monaco's I was a dishwasher. They're just extra job. And they cheated me like such shit, and they treated their dishwashers like they were fucking sly. They would just come back there and so conditions, and they're doling shit. It's because it's the middle of the rush like that place will be chomping literally. Just fucking wall to wall people. They're coming back here. Throwing dishes and this splashing in my face. They don't even say sorry, and I'm like. These fuckers have no respect for me I've I literally like? UNPLUGGED MY CD player. That's how long ago it was. Plug my people. I'm getting the fuck out of here. The owner didn't even know my name. She saw me every fucking day so when you quit. Did they know you was gong? Dishes getting. I didn't go. I didn't go fuck what they thought. If you. Splash me dirty dishwasher Nata not apologize and fuck that I was I was literally making minimum wage to like was the only reason I was there to have spending money, so I didn't need the job, and they treat me like Shit. I'm like fuck this I'm Outta here. I ordered Domino's the other day, and it had the pizza tracker thing and it showed you like we're the driver. I delivered pizzas for Denardo, and that was the best like if all the jobs I've had. That was like the most fun, because there's no responsibility. Drive around in your car. Listen to music doing whatever you could stop and you know you'd have the D'Amato's thing on. You'd pull in the McDonald's parking lot. Like now they're tracking you every step of the way like you. You can't get away shit anymore. In the in the digital age. It's bullshit. So. That you may get to i. made good money because everybody else wanted to get stoned and go home early, and I was a hard worker and so like. Oh Yeah I'll take that run. I'll take that run so like I. Did you can make good money doing pizza delivery if you're if you're a hustler? Yeah I remember my dad was A. I had seen this like six years ordered a pizza and this. was like yeah I'm not paying for this one. Leg. showed up. Would you open the door one? Did you say was like this pizzas free? That's what I said. I'm not paying for this. Wow was like where the fuck have you been? Not. Not opted pizza delivery man comes in. It has a slice with you. Yeah. I haven't seen him in like six years old, were you? Twenties okay. What did he say? He's like? Hey, son I was like. Up Dan, where the fuck have you been? Let's let's sit down and talk we. We talked. SLICE PIZZA! I wonder if he saw your name on the ticket as I probably should take that one. I never even thought about that, yeah! I don't think he knew I think because I'm pretty sure my roommate about it on his car I don't. I just remember being like. Just blown away. It was like. I will never expected. My Dad had just short but pizza. Pizza and a catch. She WanNa go back. You can't find your baby. Daddy maybe should be ordering. Baby Daddy Pizza. Somebody's coming over. No Open over that's. Notifying. Putting a Yankee defined. New Job. As, a little black Mahmoud! Do Hey pay for day you. Work in bitch how. I knew one guy who was. To? Pay Child support. It was actually Mike is Father to What always could a job time? You put him on child support. Until he got real older and he you know he can Hatton almo. He will literally quid fucking job because he didn't want to pay child support Jeez. Lock you up for that now. They can't. They used to lock them up all the time. It was twenty getting my jail. Put money together to get him out of jail. Every minds the time and that story retail people go have abortions. Unless they pay for. What did I don't pocket? Forget it. He told in San Francisco. I did tell him in San Francisco. was those people call who try to say the from getting the board? The pro-life people pro-life people when they first came out in the nineties. They was car. We thought Blitar. It was crazy, so they will get. They will get locked up and get drug to jail for quality crazy people. Started bombing Bush. At the Bush craning. Say Your Baby, so somehow he blacked business, knowing came gaining their boyfriends out of jail and scheme was. Is he meet a prolife person in jail? Tell him that he girly prints. She's GonNa. Get an abortion and the pro-lifers called headquarters and getting out of jail. To save the baby should. God forgive him. My Baby Daddy got out several times. My friend was dead now, but she was like she got my brother outlets you like. Your brother in jail, what creating a pro-life people and they say? He told me they got a baby on the way. They white people. You don't I call them flower child small. We Yucca County hearbeat. and. They will literally making bail. Only black people saying they trying to say to keys from getting the border I do go sit down. With whose role would you know? My girlfriend will get an abortion. Why meant you know? I can. Come up with his student I. had a fucking stupid life. And I look back and I was like Oh. My God I was such a piece a sheet. To take advantage of people to get a no good piece of sheet out of jail. They didn't do their due diligence their fault, but they didn't do ten percent. They paid the whole fucking bones. So! It was no somebody sign if they will pay the whole fucking bond and you literally got by pro-life people so funny. I imagine on some level like if they taken advantage fine, but then when they pay the whole bond mad, they're probably gullible. Gullible because. You asked. Them are. Going to make another way when you get home, have you ever gone into an abortion clinic? Have you ever? Driven past one every I went to planned parenthood to get an D. test because it was free and I was like I'm GonNa. Go see what it's about because I'm pro-life and I was like all right. Let me see what what it's like inside. In got the test they were. Super Nice. Waited twenty minutes to get my aides results longest twenty minutes of my life AIDS tests is so dumb, but you know you have AIDS when you're waiting for that test. You're just like I'm sure of it. Have you had sex with anybody? Since one thousand, nine, hundred, seventy, five, like bitch I wasn't even live right? No, it's so I was walking out, and all of a sudden tears in heaven started playing as I walked out and I was like this is hilarious, but then you walk out in the waiting room and sad, but now I mean it. was you know it's like one of those things where? Apparently do more than a boy. Right a lot more I think. Those weird people protested outside. Yeah, they weren't there. So what about what about say to claim? Media say to people that you. Say Baby Well. How about say digs? Keep going to long turn into flus. Holes in them. To. Do. I remember when I was in my GD class and This is. One time. Flute. Vertigo fucking up. GD Klay. This girl, they were talking about as right because they were talk about like real life ship, and they said they said everybody stand up, and as we named she chew, sit down. So, they say. You. Know what I did. The whole thing by nights was I'm the WHO was. It was a lady who had? Who had four blown as assumption real, pretty black lady, she came to speak to us, and she was on drugs real bad and she was telling us how store how does she didn't get out how she realize how fucked up? She was until she got locked up and she looked in the mirror. She Got Holy Fuck. Is that me? And so why she was ideal shooting dope or whatever selling pussy, she called as and so she came his pizza. I'll. Look where Federal Work Program Claes, and she's the everybody. STAND UP! Have you had sex from nineteen? SEVENTY FIVE IS A. You know everybody's started to sit down and it will literally one girl standing. To all pretty girl to issue mace and I remember looking up lay between I know. It was like the late nineties. We'll fuck you know. Why are you here? This is what I'm saying to my saying. He whereabouts lay ladies speaking I won't know how to fuck. You Ain't tragedy cow. I'm hopping Garrett every chance. That did. Do for you. Have you got you count the child of horses and she'd Hey. Ice Water by the Jerusalem Man Charlie horses a bitch as you get older. Thought, that was the good old days and I'm like why the fuck are you still stand and she was like. She says she was a virgin and everybody applaud her and I was like you the stupidest. Audi Good Dick Iowa. You even hear you there. Why are you here bid took? That's what I was saying to myself. Who? Why are you ain't giving the policy? So I just remember that I always think about that lady every now and then I wanted to. She die from. The black speaker yet black Spiegel this year. She said I have four blown AIDS and she said. She's telling us she still date she only date. People would aid how who thank God for that and it's a felony if you don't tell people. Back then it was back then. Like holiday transmitted now because my first father brother data's elsom scary sheet. Yeah, I! Remember being a kid in the mid nineties. Terrified. So the road that I drive to get to Miss Pat's house, that's where we listened to the Magic Johnson press conference. So every time I drive them pats I. Think about that because we passed this neighborhood on, you know unhappily road and I'm like. Man, I remember thinking Magic Johnson was GonNa die my. It was over for him. How could he play basketball? And what about the cuts like you know? He's Fine Charlie. Sheen's cured like it's. It's challenging Kerr Yeah like he has like zero, the T. Cell Count or whatever it is, he has like nothing like you need to check on my brother because I had a brother witty. One time, and you don't talk to him. Night my brother. Nine brother-in-law codeine. Okay? Yeah, it's a whole another brother, but. He he gets your phone on media. Times what you do, what you do, so I had to block him and I remember what the number was on blocking. And then he will call you like I. Try to make them beat about. Friendship, but no, he will call me was stupid shit like. Everybody else out a mother nickel dime it Carolina million. I don't fuck about. Cook? Literally call and talk to you like you had. I'm like I don't get it okay. I. Don't call you. My diabetes won't be coming back. I WANNA. Know what your fucking teak CEO County. Say. Healthy. Okay. Just in case, he wasn't sure he will tell me every day with a T. Cell Count Wall. At. Even know how he checked his T. Cell count every day I. don't know if it's like you checking your diabetes possible. He was lying. He was a diesel counseling. You know he called me and my other brother says same thing. Did he call you? Somebody Teaser I. Don't know why he about t CEO. Then He. He was he's never taught medication for years and went on medication probably I. WanNa say four or five years ago, she. My uses strong here Jake I. Don't Medication David Armstrong I'm like. What are you say to I? Don't want to be Rou- I. Don't WanNa say what minor thing in new. Does she. You hit by balls cows. You'RE GONNA die regards okay. So I just blocked. Through Anyway. Because I got tired of him. It Camp I got tired of hearing my own in about. You know what I'm saying and city so irreversible. Now Ed's my sending me out new girlfriend lezama brother, say Marlboro, he getting beat up at trains, anybody other girls. I don't fucking know so now. I just. Got A block because you call too many times they you'll never calming because Meka. You already call me thirteen today. Macao. What am I going to say? You got it that me if I. Know you're crazy. SOMMA bitch. Where my Toyoko! FUCKING CRAZY! I'm telling my brother's crazy, so then I bought my other brother. Because biracial brother didn't you learn how to do group takes, and would you put everybody your phone? Text me and everyone who who who? I say I ACTU- to stop. PA- Mini Group tests. You Stoop Osama bin. Blocked him. Literally blocked. I don't blame you because he wouldn't stop me in group says. You ask them how to get him out. He Act like he can't do one. Without group takes air by phone. I think it's funny. How group texts is supposed to make your life easier and everybody hates it. And the worst is if it's at work and at your boss. And you can't say Shit because it's your boss, you know. This is be you'd be the only person in the group texts that don't need none of the fucking messages. Like I don't need to hear any of this. None of this ship pertains to. It's the worst Yup I just decided. I block him, so I haven't heard from him either and whatever we're going to wrap it up and we have in. George Gas look forward to seeing. What I suppose say! Thank you for listening to another episode of the PAT. Down we truly truly appreciate you guys. Thank. You all so much for tuning into another episode of the Pat Down Make sure you check out my website at Ms Pat. Comedy Dot Com for all of my social media. My tour dates my book. Make sure you spread the word about my pug. As please rate every veep, please rate and review a share sake alabi Ms Pat.

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Episode 81: Conversations with Racist Family Members

The Patdown with Ms. Pat

1:27:18 hr | 4 months ago

Episode 81: Conversations with Racist Family Members

"Hey this is actor writer advocate and host of black folks Brandon, Kyle Goodman, and I just want to give you a friendly reminder to vote on November. Third I know twenty twenty has been a whirlwind to say the least and all of us are exhausted but there is so much at stake and your vote matters remember voting is not about you. It's about the collective change can only take hold when we all ban together together we are unstoppable. Now I know there's a lot of. Out there and it can be overwhelming but had to vote dot org where you'll have access to all the information you need to navigate the electoral process again had to vote dot org and make a plan to vote today lives are depending on it. Thank you. Hey, it's white boy Chris if the pat-downs ever made you laugh then join our patriotic and support US get bonus content a t shirt or an autograph copy of Rabbit Ms Pats Autobiography Visit Ms, Pat Comedy Dot Com for the link to the Patriot, and while you're there, join our facebook group. Welcome to another episode Pat Down I'm here with Chris Indiana we talking about from series Shit. Some series sheet. Police in America. Don't turn it off listen. You need to hear his bushy. If you turn it off your bitches nickel. Bitch ass. Food. True. Spitting real facts. The class. That got to play with these same lines. On Real. Equal. Thank. You. Spend that. Way It's Again you. Know. A Funds. Full. Load. On your desktop computer. tweet. That's What the fuck is? How much time? You know what I'm I'll have. I'll have when I was coming out. The police is not the same police say this one hundred times. But I've watched a couple videos day what a police literally led dogs by people like they did black people back today they literally had his black man in his yard told him to get now and adult and the man told the dog bite Blah I've seen. Him Do the same thing Mexican guy if you hate or certain group of people that much why take a public job I guess you take you so you can kill them 'cause you hate him so much. But do you think there's no consequence that's GonNa come to you as a police officer have this this country have gone today or polices almost untouchable qualified immunity. Qualified immunity basically like the person individually suffers no consequences like Brianna Taylor, the family got twelve million dollars the only people that faced any consequences for the death of the tax payers but. The people in this state will won't the police to go to jail our want you to lock that motherfucker up before you fall you keep raising my taxes for Y'all mistakes because that's when you hear people say well, if they just cooperate. And it's like she didn't even have the option to cooperate because she was sleep and fucking killed her, and now you have to pay because instead of checking the police. You're more worried about Brianna, Taylor's history. That's the problem. That's the problem that we face. Shit happens and instead of dealing with the reason why happens we make all these excuses and just spend money just give them some money that'd be quiet. S. As in my I cannot wait out of my seat com that is a really sheet when when when that was breaking news as she got multimillionaires. Oh. Oh. Finally, they gotta pay. Double Digit for Black Death and look down it was twelve million dollars don't. Thanks FRITO IT AIn't tax. About Well I run. I. Don't give a fuck I'd rather have my child a rather have my fucking loved one. I. Don't understand. I mean I I mean. I'm all for the police, the police citizen they get out we paid a police. But a run around here and they they they commit more crimes motherfucker we do. I think people get the police and the police officers confuse the job versus the person I think that's what people aren't understanding. Is that the person that does the job poorly makes all the police officers look bad. What doesn't happen is when a cop does do something poorly. None of the other quote unquote good cops do anything. Speak out and when they do they get fired or harassed and they it made so that if you are a good police officer and you do call out bullshit, you find yourself alone in a hurry there was a guy forget his name. Daniel something. But he posted on Instagram Aram basically saying we need to do better and do this. Right he got fired within like two weeks. But if he if he had shot somebody, he wouldn't have gotten back him up. Yes. They will find the reason why it was justified. So if you find good officer WHO's calling are bad I was how do you expect the citizen? I mean the US to respect you 'cause retinas thing like the police department only white people to respect to haul back to blue and you know at bag the blue sheet is so full of Shit and a lot of people cut off this park as and I'll give up. But when you say bank the blue but you said you you say American flag means so much to you but you take it and change the mother fucking call the black and blue. How can you love flag so much when you change the motherfucking coal that blue and black flag that I see y'all walking around here that's not what knows my husband fall for he did not fight for that fucking flay. then. Debt flag does not represent. The United. States. Blue on blue long no one is black and blue. On everybody's shirts and I'm like, you say you love this country. You say, you love this country you love the flag niggles came Neil because if we knew that disrespecting flat but you'll take the whole motherfucking flay and you turn black and blue count issue today I I think it's like A. Way To show that you love power and power over other people that you don't like I got that sort of how I interpreted because I don't personally get it like. I like. If you're a police officer, I've had because of all the of my mouth Innis on cops and stuff I've had a lot of friends who especially like high school friends who are cops reach out to me and say, Hey, like I've listened to the PAT down, I've listened to your other podcast like. You have to understand like from our perspective and I've had the opportunity to talk to them and go like when you're in these situations than this happens. This happens I think that you kind of just touched on that like if you're an individual cop and a lot of these situations, it's difficult for them and then the like the world's shitting on them, and so they're just quitting and mass numbers because they don't want to do the job. Because people want him Hale responsible because let me say this to you. Let me say this to you if I'm doing a job and if I'm doing it right I give a fuck about everybody else quit when people get the wrong get to run. It is for his full reason. He's job a right a corporation. A right got caught up in some Bull Sheva. But if you at work and you doing what you supposed to do, you ain't GonNa be dropping, off. Me You doing it. You run in because you don't want to get caught up with the bullshit. You know you've been doing. There's Nasr GonNa get highlighted because you know why are you got white kids I say stop the bullshit. We just WANNA fuck in Lille near we literally WANNA. Fuck fucking Lille and they call it. You actually trying to start locking you motherfucker up the NFL something what doing something. With the police I just read something briefly yesterday. Some type of training. I haven't seen it. Either it was on Fox weekday now I got asked Rebecca literally live around the corner from where all the cops and the state are trained. I. See Cop cars around here all the time you know and I really don't. It's like, what if why can't a police poor somebody over and treat them like a human being whether you black white green ready and I understand the police Wanna, go home like everybody else. But for you, let's listen incidents for you. Literally let a dog Oh on an unarmed person has into air whose own a needs who's turning around you steal let the dog, go you racist piece of sheet because what you want somebody to do that to you I keep telling people the reason when you're racist or you hate a group of people. Because you know that you'll never be in that situation. You know you never been in that situation that's why you can't all Blah Blah black and blue back the police but I ask you this what you want the police to seek a dog on your mom white child. Would you want police a fucking have that the black boy got his leg told a fuck off the back East Lake told fuck off from a doubt. But that's the problem with those types of people say I back the blue, take a mini and put take the face off that nick or whatever you WANNA call them, and put your white child that you love. So fucking precious face there and you ask. Is this this this high won't my child to be treated when Brianna Taylor was fucking Keel y'all still sage are packed police. Yes were shot while I'm day was in the Fucking Bay he should've shot him. But. Let me ask you this what you want your child in the best sleep in come to fucking fate one or whatever. Fuck no not one and blow your child Hey al you don't care because you know you ain't going to be in this situation you. We don't have the same fears black America, Brown a miracle when you don't have that same fear to me, you are a fucking. Races our father police to do they fucking job. Listen to me Nigga. I'm all for the Fire Department to put out fires too. But if a fire comma with the whole is skied a Nigga down the street instead of putting his house up out I, put his house out put the fire on his house. I got a problem with that was the focus of negative out for he went. Oh he was a Nigga so I needed to take true. I mean think about think about a Pharma come up and people use them as they skate you fucking heavens and let Joe, how's your travel agent the Fire Department? I mean I just I don't get it and I try really fucking hot to say but I don't WanNa hate the police because I remember the police that I grew they fat. They wears the people they gave a folk. You can separate the from the person I hate the system I don't hate individual police officers I hate their fucking job because they know when they go into work that if shit hits the fan, they're gonNa be protected they are aware of what's happening. And none of them are speaking out about it. They're quiet. They're UNBEL-. None of them are holding the people in positions of power accountable for the bullshit that they are getting away with their starting to be held accountable and they don't like it. That's my point is like Oh, I. you see some of these videos that come out where you hear the cops like fuck earned in trouble for this and it's like you. So you readily admit that you did something you weren't supposed to do instead of just owning it and be like man fucked up I need help. Everybody just is like oh well. It this person's fall and they should have had this this this this this this not happen. The none of this would have happened instead of just being like. WE'VE FUCKED UP WE'RE GONNA. Kick this guy out of police force. He's never going to police job. Again, we're going to hold them accountable and from here on out anybody who does these things will face the exact same amount justice. Yeah I think that's never going to happen. Was It let me ask you some white American because I have a lot of white phase and I'm saying why to Miracle Does it not concern you all the black and Brown people being killed by police? Do you think everyone those criminals like I literally re sometime Like the likes. Light Fox denies any relay. Races Indiana was and people say she george floor was on methamphetamine or what are So. What was it right for that motherfucking is need to sneak. Was it right when somebody tell you that they can't breathe and you in a police continue to kill you. Actually yourself what you want to be treated like that. Would you wanna live you're skiing. If you had my skin call, you'll be living in fear every fucking day to the point where I never dealt with guns and I literally told my kids everybody get a gun. So every fucking body Gilligan you saw the two officers and California that would just sit in the car and they got walked on shot right. Well a couple of weeks before that happened these why officers were trying to arrest dude in Oklahoma he kill one of them and seriously injured the other one I saw that but the. President. Trump didn't come out and say looking worried about let me say this you when I saw. Is. They they take. They treated him like sheep. They treated him like sheet. And I truly think the guy was on something to it. Look like the gap problem was high from the Mug shot. I. Let me show you what I'm talking about. ACT The the basically the execution in L. A. Though. Or like heard about it no, I didn't watch that but I truly believe is really believed that dude was on something. And I think when a police in Karaoke people like dead they should have somebody to come in. There's almost like somebody robbed a bank in you doing negotiation negotiating that's the type of desert type of people that the police department should call for mentally their fucking job yet. Did you see the autistic? Hate. That fucking cystic key yeah and he's still he was white. White Yeah that's there they so quick to shoot. How do you shoot somebody? They tell you hey, my child a problem. We can. You please come help? Well, it ain't to say come kill my child because he got a mental illness. Yeap asking the question how and why and you have to look at the reason the system is designed that way. There's there's no other explanation other than the fact that this is how we are trained because we're all these officers to Mac make the exact they do the exact same thing. Right, they do the it doesn't matter what happens in the. Exact same day no, and it doesn't. Care today how many doesn't matter if they're white black Asian it doesn't they all the officers do the exact same thing instead of de escalating the s when you challenge police officers quote unquote? Authority. They all escalate. Because that is they are trained to think that they are the enforcers of whatever bullshit law that they think they have you on innocent until proven guilty that Shit's for TV if you're in if you're a police officer in training. At the beginning, you get fifty two hours of weapons training an eight hours of de escalation training, and the weapons training is consistently given over the course of your career. It's consistently given away that you will learn the weapons training in the academy. The escalation training is all fragmented and it's basically an afterthought and so you're right. It's it's the way they're trained de-escalate trainees called blitz holidays right? Key Force. The Dow? It until until we actually get the police. Money involved and ain't. GonNa Change. It ain't going because, hey, if you can get paid. The starting salary for cops like thirty thousand dollars. And then by the time you. Reach Sergeant you're making sixty seventy. Yeah. You're not making a ton of money. Yeah. So why are you gonNA take shit from no from from random people every day when they tell you oh, you train for fifty two hours with this pistol, right? I'm not GonNa talk to you about Shit. If they go check me if they going back me up regardless of what the fuck I do as long as I can. Vilify you instead of vilifying me. Why would I change if I'm just putting myself in a cop shoes? Why would asked and? that. Why would why are we expecting these people to be moral and citizens of this country when we're not gonNA punish them for what they do like you said, taxpayers paid that twelve million dollars it's incentives and consequences. You're not giving them any incentive to fucking change until you defend all that bullshit they're they're going to keep doing it. So you can ask all the fucking questions you too how and why and all this. They don't fucking. If they fucking cared they would've changed. They don't fucking care start paying that twelve million dollars out of police pensions. If if exactly if you gonNA. Put Fuck in blue and black flag on your shirt march down the street and say how also police are regardless of how they treat people why the fuck would they give those people are not helping either like. So in those conversations, kind of what I was trying to say is in these conversations with cop friends like. They tried to explain the complexity of the job which does exist, and then the people that are allegedly their supporters go on social media and act like fools and make it worse and don't explain like they don't feel supported by those people. They don't Saddam down either. Yeah. They go th the one I was just like all the sudden everybody thinks racist because the people are defending us the loudest say the most racist stuff and you don't check those people. That's why they think that because you let your quiet about it me why tell all these marchers get the fuck out the street and you know black lives matter so much why you killing yourself but she never checked the motherfuckers on your side. You don't ever come out and say, Hey, all these back the blue no matter what my focus need to calm the fuck down and shut the hell did that though if they did that, would you hear it? Yes, I'm saying I think the way that social media set up is that the calm reasonable voice that gives an opinion that that isn't enflaming doesn't get hurt it's not incentivized. To me you to me dealing with people like that. And you know a lot of time when you try to do it in a massive doesn't work because people get tuned out. What do you do to change people mind one on one like safe instant if you've got a person in your household that should not races instead of saying, you know you fucking races have changed shit don't work like that. Anymore a lot of time when you white a miracle, you just say he's fucking race. I'm not going to deal with him well who the? Fuck going check that person that person known as long as they and they white circuit never gonNA be fucking shaved. You know what I'm saying. So that's was wrong when you don't force people when you don't call people out on a Bush I just told you on podcast go a gap put on my facebook, our facebook page community paid and say black live enough team. Airbus, tiptoed around saying no Bichir Racist. I'm Black Lavar here to I pay my mother fucking texts fuck is wrong to white boy. and. He could. He could not believe blog me then wrote a whole bunch she. So I, put it back on our facebook page but just think about this white man probably his fifty years old ain't never been. And never had a real conversation about he only. Passed Dale. So if you go to your, if you go to your fucking Thanksgiving a, you know your uncle whatever is fucking races and you just said, makes he needs to change and opium. How do you expect to happen if you don't speak the fuck up I'm just saying period people how do you have you don't check racist relatives and let me is not going to Thanksgiving aw ain't going to fuck and situation you check that Nigga in front of every motherfucking body because you've seen me minattan check my daughter when I said no, you ain't better put everybody in the same fucking category. Our white people, ain't, fucking evil. Mother fucking black people eight dogs and I'll white Mir's don't rape day daughters. Have fucked this you have to you have to approach it to without. Hostility. I think what I don't think that you do you Gary on talk the way that you do, but you're not going to change somebody's mind by shot not trying to change their mind. You're trying to change the circumstances in which they operate their bullshit. You don't right. If look, you can't stop people from being racist, but you can't stop that races motherfucker from being comfortable. So every time he comes around people that he knows don't think the way he does he got to check himself or he can't operate in that space anymore I'm not trying to change no racist motherfuckers mind. China make it so that they stay the fuck out of the way between everybody else you WanNa have. Evil in that bullshit and Johar GonNa bring it to these things to this white. You not coming around where everybody else around Thanksgiving dinner you. You're not gonNA fuck up. Thanksgiving because you a piece of shit not finished. Sit here and eat up here and let you have fuck that. But when you know. Let vice versa even with anything that I do in like you not by say here in A. fucking. Punch of people one category because it's not fucking true like out all my neighbors I told this park at winning my facebook. Why people in like that? I know you're not like the I'm not gonNA. Group you because this motherfucker is a fucking Ding don't dumb ass pieces sheep that's not how I roll but I'm I called him out when so many others call him out. So you make changes about you know Colin Powell mullet go talk to the president say, Hey data sticking dolls on legal we need to do some country need to change but if you setback Began He. Could be a better play. It ain't GonNa be no better for like guess what he raised another one him. and. He will raise another one at him. You don't understand White America don't feel black America pain because somewhere. Somebody. Make sure you didn't feel all paying. Somebody say my kids are not gonNA be exposed Niggle in black folks are black folks shit because I don't want my white baby give a fuck. You mentioned you said the word group and that's the thing like out group versus in group policing like you expect a Republican and a Democrat to go at each other like you expect Nancy Pelosi to say Shit about Donald Trump but it's more powerful when like James Madison Square Mucci and all these people who are in his group come out and say, no, this guy's really legitimately crazy. You listen to that voice. So like if you're in a family, the person goes this isn't acceptable here. You can't talk like that I'm going to challenge you on this that's more powerful and that's I. Think when When it's talked about like. anti-racism like that's what. That's what you've told me. That's what we're talking about. Like just don't allow that. Don't make. Let them be comfortable to sit there with a smirk on your face disagreeing like actually challenge that and say what you feel. That's acceptable I do. Yeah. I absolutely do did it two weeks ago you have to? You have to that's the only way world gets better because those people make this world a bad place I I do it differently because. I, I. Got To Yale in Colorado. Snap them upside to hear you say the where have Chinese yeah. I I just like my approach towards these kind of conversations as always different than a lot of other people's like I tried to question them and challenge those beliefs and like try to get like, why do you feel that this is okay like why would you say that? Don't you understand this as opposed to just like the way The Way to my sister does it which is just yelling you're fucking racist use I us. Because when you when you why? When you've known this person, say if you had a Thanksgiving dinner, you known this person personality your fucking life was the purpose of tapping him on his hand. It's time for somebody say you don't Shit in your draws baby and it's time for you to stop in draws. So you say you fucking races and you look at your pretty blue eyes and you stand the thought. Yeah. But you know what you get twenty years of just don't that up around her no again to actually damaging. Environment when who is uncomfortable in that situation the racist or you you? Know everybody. Know. The racist he's not uncomfortable. Yeah. That's why he doesn't bring the subject up again you bring a motherfucker say you're. Is You. Know this person is racist. Why are you allowing them in your space? Sometimes, you don't have an. You always have an option. Because if that person if if why would you hang out with somebody who's against everything? You're you're four. Regardless of regardless of biology. Why would you do that to yourself? How can you call yourself a ally? When you you break bread with the enemy I that doesn't make any sense to me. If I know somebody, did you guys just not say did Miss Pat just not say don't go to Thanksgiving with your parents. There's a lot of people whose parents are really racist. You know why you know why they're still racist 'cause you don't fucking do anything because because you. About An. Hang out with them, you allow them to be on their. Conversation. Is Not doing nothing listen doing nothing no no let me finish. Let me finish my point. Having A. Is, not doing nothing sitting there smiling Lee avoiding avoiding confrontation is doing nothing screaming at them are saying I'm not coming Thanksgiving. Is Not productive. What I'm saying is it's like we're not broke the psych in my family I broke the cycle of welfare. Being, educated. Still dropped out, you know Abusive relationship. I'm the only person my family was like this. Okay. I ask say this is not how I wanted to live I couldn't deal my sister de so take being poor and say all of these nickel races. So it was my choice to step outside the box. So if you dealing with a racist in your family, but I constantly tell my family, you can do better. You don't WanNa fuck and do better. If I just walked away and just say I'm going to let them be racing different thing I'm always conscious call my sister we look at you really need to fucking vote she's like why should I do bitch because you're right and so many people daf you'd have that fucking right. Can You please stop smoking Craig for two days and fill out absentee ballot 'cause you're going to be needed bitch. You know what I'm saying. So you've gotta constantly with me I constantly, my cousins them when I'm talking to, you can do it if you want to do better. I call him out. Well, why are you in this bullshit? You fifty some years old you still doing the same drinking and whatever what is the same thing racism you gotTa have no on your why people have a tendency of just getting comfortable just to fucking conflict and you don't want to have those conversations like my neighbors they don't want to have those conversations I want you to know what it is to be black in America is not like being white in America I'm not comfortable in this fucking country and I made Mo- money than a lot of people in my neighborhood do but I'm not comfortable because I was bored with something America? Thank is a fucking disease, which is black, skiing. Is, not the fuck insane. So every chance I have every time, I have a chance of talking to a motherfucker who don't understand what it is to be black and brown in this country. I talked to Him Mollahs men and Gary I know have like let them be no I'm not GonNa let them but that's my point and your your approach with your neighbor is. The right approach you don't leave him alone. He's not comfortable. We're really not comfortable, but you're having a conversation and I guarantee you made that guy think about things he's never thought or when you have a racist Thanksgiving and you got that racist offer every time you encounter that motherfucker you should continue to throw knowledge of nowhere have changed the world don't need people like you. I'm quite sure if you had a conversation with a racist in your family if you gotTa races in your family, and if you keep having these uncomfortable conversation that person was started to fucking think that personal thing because you say, well, Hey, personal be who that's not how you make changing his country. Hey been getting into the Halloween mood. This year as the whole world has been scary as hail I'm right. There we job but I gotTa Tell Ya what I've been watching why home going through the scariest time I've been watching scary movies Ns. Bad hair can I tell you how bad hair throws us back to nineteen eighty nine thing neil top music video countdown baby any follows Anna and ambitious young black woman who changes are head of Industry Yep. That's what we do. Some town we black but finds out her hair my half a man of his own like mass stand on my head right now like a damn peacock that freaks. ME. Out. You can watch bad hair right now take over the Hulu athey listening to this podcast is that time of year again y'all it's getting cold outside in God. Knows we been through some shit this year that's why I tell you every week about Barra help better assess your knees and met your own license professional therapy and God knows we can all professional therapy Brown about this time? Okay. You can start communicating under forty eight hours is not a crisis hotline is not self. Help is a professional counseling done securely online guys. There's a broad range of experts available, which may not be available in many areas. 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You can now get the service and convenience of local state farm agent at surprisingly great rates state farm can help you save more cash and get the good neighbor service. You deserve just talked to your local state farm agent or visit state, Farm Dot Com to find out how much you can save on your car insurance when you want the real deal like a good neighbor state farm is there. What is I want to understand your approach. Chris. I love when we? Disagreed about approach so I want to hear you out on. How you handle and we do love each other. I, think the the the difference in. Your racist. And you're saying something very racist why do you think that? The the difference in that. Can you you can change a mind one way and you can push in person back in the other way. If I walked into this podcast two years ago with the brainwashing that I basically had had and I had felt that you guys were attacking my identity calling Nia. Racist. I would have just quit and it was uncomfortable but you guys said, why do you think that way? You specifically said, why do you think that way? Don't you realize this see this point. You're educated on all these different points and you made me think about things that I hadn't thought about before. But that only happened because I felt respected by you. But if I walked in here and you just started yelling, you're a racist motherfucker I'm not coming back you know and that's the difference between like your neighbor specifically like between Gary, on it we're she'll just say you're racist I'm not fucking with you and your approach where which is really rooted in love and that I'm going to change this person's mind or I'm GONNA at least try because this person deserves to think about what they're saying that's that's what I'm saying I think if you approach Thanksgiving with. I'm not showing up because they're fucking racist. You've lost an opportunity. Sitting there silently, you've lost an opportunity. Saying you're a racist motherfucker piece of Shit you've lost an opportunity. But. If you step back in approach at the way that you guys approached it with me and go, that's pretty racist. You understand like when you say Like the NFL for instance, because that's what that's what you'll be there. Thanksgiving Day. Black athletes will do something. Around black lives matter and your uncle or your dad or hey, would you say is black people go Neil? Th. That's what I'm saying. Black. People Go Neil. It's the blackness that they're going to be offended by they're going to say something because they feel comfortable saying it because they've said it forever and you just sat there or you now think differently than you did a year ago. And you have a choice in that moment. So let me ask you this. So if you was in that situation where you said that Thanksgiving and NFL came all in black folks to kneel and. Some somebody your families see something about the black athletes are you going to speak up and say, Hey, you're racist. No not that racist you're racist don't say, De USA you're racist. Do you realize the world has changed. Do you realize what we're going through. Do you realize black people has been yelling for the same thing since the star time? Do you realize how fucked up this country is? It takes a lot of guts when you dealing with reality it's what it takes his courage. That's exactly what it is. It's courage. What Endesa which would. That's what everybody needs to get this thanksgiving I feel call your side I don't a bushy whether they black are you white or whatever the fuck because if you come to my house talking about, Chris who's like family to me I will your mother fucking at. This I appreciate it. Because one of the girls said something and it was racist and it was. One of kids crack babies. We were all hanging out and I was having a conversation and one of the other girls came in your white you're white you're white like, put me down basically for being for my skill up here and you go you're not house. Yeah. You you're not gonNA talk to my friend that way. Like correct baby the oldest my kids I know correct Babe Neil. No no no. No. Oldest crack baby. One of the girls. Said what am I kid? Yeah, we're hanging out. Not, Gary Andrea Ashley No. Areas no you say may you about the fans you talking about one of the kids they know Crepe? No we were hanging out you and I were talking in the kitchen and the four crack babies were all kind of coming in and they were making Craig Babies crease there my kids. Know. Okay, and so one of them just kept like really just hammering the white thing and I started to think like. I would never like talk to I would never come in like, oh, they are being black again. I was just kind of like all right that sucks and then you go hey, you're not gonNA talk to my friend like that like that. You don't you're being racist and she goes how am I being racist? Like you go. You're being racist like, do you realize that here? You're putting him down for the color of his skin would you like he did that to you remember the and she goes no. Because then you that's called racism. because she got embarrassed and so she didn't like straight up apologize but you could tell like she started thinking and the other three kids notice that to. Speak of the devil and so. Like that was a moment where like I felt appreciated because you you were calling it out and everybody else in the room noticed that like that's not acceptable and even if other people in the House make that joke. You're not going to do that especially to somebody because you can love person of different skin. I don't make jokes like that. A lot of this she become because. This is the problem I have with. With, Blackie strategic teaching black kids, black history, which we should. We should teach our kids black history but some of it is just too strong and you put all of this sheet in these young keys head and they don't know how they don't really know how to Sake did all. And it scares me some time because you want them teaching the history. You want them tell them how you know they seek dolls on our people and they were slaves and all that. But me. I don't want my kids to hate. I don't want my kids look say, Oh, my God we will slaving your fucking decrease even as even when I just know we keys you Paulo that she'd owned him because I'm forty eight years old and I remember watching roofs and watching the day you should let his wash it like that you remove groups. Yeah. It didn't make me hey, why people is scared the Shit Outta mean. Literally scared the shit out of me but we was raised in a different hustle and I also had a mama was always say why people's fucking devil. This white man and when rules came all black folks watch what was I should a week long? It was like Nah far many series was like nine or fifteen hours a day a we sat out of we watched it and all you watch these white people whipping in raping and use. Your. Mom. Black. Mama in my ear, saying white people is the devil and I was so fucking schedule white people between routes and what mutual had told me about them. But. Then I grew up and I realize that we're fucking all the same what? Did. She build some hey, therefore you yes he build some. Hey, the I guess let me and I'll ask you this day on because like the difference that the way that I saw race. Being checked on race the way that MS, pat did it was it was firm? But it was like, Hey, stop, you can't do the like it made her think and the way the race was always talked about a my house, the way the family members would check. Racist family members yelling and I've just never seen that work. You know I've never seen that like that. Agree like I guess if it gets to a point where it's like a heated argument, then you just sort of lost and there's no point in continuing the conversation. It's more like just like move on where is like when she checked. One of the kids it wasn't anger. It wasn't out of a place of anger, but it was tough. It was firm. And you tell me but like that's what I'm trying to say is that like? Just, the angry yelling doesn't really it's not whoever whoever you deal with your family that you feel like races Chris, you don't have the Yale just educate when I talked to when I talked to my dinners who I think is a little racist, but I liked him. He don't think he's racist. To mean sometime, he say some racist Shit. I'm not. Yelling. I try to educate because you live before i. go up there to him I got list of things I wanNA talk about anyway I'll talk about socialism and do you want to? What concert socialism me he didn't look the union the fuck me, but Albie highlands socially was wrong. We helping the next person isn't that what the Babas say that? y'All read Desa love their neighbors. Ain't that what the Bible say. Give me started on that I. Know I know I know but I mean when you say here and you just let these people go and say what I'm going to let that person be no call them out. In a nice way if you think that person will listen to you talking calm and say, Hey, you're racist. That's racist time had changed and there's no place on this earth with people like the way you think anymore one hundred percent of the time you're asked why any better have a good answer for it too, and that's why I think like. The the courage is backed by preparation and knowledge and you read us. Races I'm quite sure you ready to throw them knowledge. She don't him out of books. Are you them. Or educating because there's a difference now if your goal is to educate them and there's a way of going about it if you're there to just check them. and. That's all you need to do. So Yo check your, I'm not trying to change your mother fucking mind if you WANNA be racist five I'm not trying to change your mom but you nothing dude, I hear and you not famous oc with me and my people now. They have to be willing to want to be educated if they are willing to have that conversation than have it. If if they have demonstrated to you that they're not willing to have that conversation, then fuck them they're grown. It's different. You talking about kids because they have a whole life of learning ahead of that. Yeah. That grow motherfuckers already may his choices fuck them like I'M I'M NOT GONNA sit here and try to change the euro white man's mind. Fuck Him. But you. But let me ask you this. Would you sit there and have a conversation? He wanted to talk about it absolutely. But I'm not he's not coming to my space with his racist bullshit and then get checked on it and they have attitude with me. That's. Not Going. To happen you're not gonNA come over to my house and to my area will your bullshit and I I stand firm on Yo that's not cool here, and then you want to debate me about why it's not cool. Fuck out of here I'm not doing that you are old enough. You are grown enough to go and do the research. Yourself. I'm not trying to change your life. That's all you. Now, if you need help and you need clues, you actually WanNa talk the fire we'll have a conversation but don't be on no bullshit talk about. Well, you're wrong because it's been this way for years years years and I don't want to change fuck out of here. I don't time for that. You don't have time for that. Best. Races Oh give full I like talking night. We should whatever happened with your neighbor because you mentioned him again and I was like. Again I wondered you know has that whereas that gone 'cause you've meant we talked about. What I don't even know of my I don't even know if that's what you call racist I. think that's Close. My was a weird is that he's got a beautiful Mexican wife. So I say how you GonNa fuck the minority, but you don't like the minority. Three beautiful keys by. We you know I'm open minded person he was over here. Today I. Don't I don't have a problem with him I I just I, call them close minded because he don't get it. You know when people say well, liberals on work. I'm like, nick up my husband go to General Motors every. Our I don't know what they get this concept that we don't work that. We you know people down there Looney I. I'll say that those are all types of people down at Luton. But why are they were started Lou now never want to talk about what started losing. Use The because police kills them out of some color. Said no business got burned down when the cops was acting right? It only seems to happen when people don't act right and. Look. This country. Has a history of bullshit racism. You got trump coming out with an executive order on teaching pro-american fucking indoctrination to children in schools. Now man he's not eat they don't. WanNa. Tell you the truth about what happened in this country because it makes people feel bad. They don't take into account that. Thirteen percent of the population always feels bad because when we bring up what's happening, we are met with that's not true because I don't have any experience in that. People deny other people's reality because they haven't experienced themselves and then when you when you talk to them about it, they get an ad to with you like you're an asshole. So Dion is playing. To the audience that thing with the whole trump thing because as you a date. So basically, the sixteen nineteen project is actually trying to teach the real history and how brutal racism and slavery and all that other shit that happened in this country and trump was like I. don't why are we teaching people that? That's not what America stands for. People need to understand is something new. No it's it's a whitewashing. Know what trump is doing is he's releasing a bunch of executive orders right now to try and gin up to make it look like he's doing something he's turning in his homework last minute. So it looks like he gets credit. So right before the election like he's banning Tiktok, by executive order he's GonNa roll out by executive order a healthcare plan which was hilarious. He's doing this like it's just a bunch of it's like him trying to look like he's Tough on basically the left and anything the left holds dear and obviously, if you believe that racism exists, you're brainwashed by liberals you know you're brainwashed by the media, which is just a frustrating thing like and you've nailed it like this year has shown me more than any other year that if people don't see it happening, they don't experience if it's not in their world, they don't give a fuck about it, and if it threatens their world, they'll do anything to make sure that you. Don't. Understand why YOU WHY IS THIRD PARTY because. I know the fuck I wanna I know Joe Biden and on record book I. Don't give a fuck. We gotTA stop declaring. You can't fix the problem if you denied exists and the reason this if I was if I was a libertarian Terry and I saw that my focus off our lead my team because I know my team ain't got chain and join your team. So we can re reunite to get rid of these evil motherfucker. That's what I would do because if I love my country so much like I was listening to thing I posted it and this guy was like if the Brown if Mexican and black people get together in Texas, they can run motherfucking Texas. That's what I would do to get rid of the evil motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah. LE- my post I'M GONNA. Leave my post in join you. So we can make the world so we could make it a little bit better. And I know Joe bad. That's that's a liberal concept of everybody. Everybody to do. I look at. How the system works I keep trying to tell you that America doesn't give a fuck about everybody America says, what can you do for me and is it going to cost me money because if it is I don't want to I'm bill if I see you lose it and I'm winning I'm GonNa go pull you up so we can both float together. That's why I suppose. That's what's supposed to happen with just strong believe and I beg you all the time in text message. You will have a chance to win. So why not come join my party? So we can be strong font unite to get this clown out I. Don't understand why I should believe anything. Joe. Biden about it's just better. It's better than what we already got. It ain't even about day battle it just better than what we got and I don't believe in perpetuating that system rather be registered as a protest vote against these two options. Yeah and it doesn't count. It doesn't help miracle because of trump get back in you'll be still reading tweet and talking to same bullshit DASS why this country is so fucked I live in Indiana. What's the chances of Indiana being? To tell her that she don't she let me take my voice. My vote is who account the actual Obama. Turned my electric yes. Because he was a good candidate. Joe Biden and income La- Harris right now right now we're in a wheel by well put Nokia, was a candidate. For Real, you know, let me say this to you understand me latest. was. Not. If trump was not the Republican party. If it was Bush and it was Joe Biden and I'm a big Democrat I probably go vote for Bush. Did you I never voted for. I like Bush. I really did like almost voted for him his second term. But when you gas somebody with the Division that this has put in his world with the stuff that he say about black and Brown people with the Bush that spirit I don't give a fuck what party I am I, got to join the party. That's big enough to get this motherfucker. Joe. Biden's the guy that is. A major contributor, he was the in group Guy on the left saying you guys need to vote for these two crime Villes for the drug war. Let me say that he is the root of white people growing up I. Ninety are never been sheet when it came down to us y'all may lousy. Keep US rioting. So what the Fuck Y'all talking about when you I won't say stop when Y'all want to say Joe Biden he'd just evers white motherfucker. Did their who made the law from the time nigger Guy Bit from the motherfucker every Lotta ever been made against Black America has been made by white people. Want to street. He locked up Nichols he ate the first one he ain't going be the last one y'all been doing this since you brought us hill. So what are you talking about? Don't hold them accountable because he's Accountable he was already vice president. Every wasn't trump I wouldn't be vote if it was not donald trump, I would not be voting. I go if it was somebody else but this piece of sheet with the division, the bullshit he's per the ugliness. The fucking is fear Fi and walk outside. I can't even walk on a track from taking somebody kill me I never been his own wind is contrary dealing with his mother fucking fool I hate to break it to you pat but it ain't never going back you're. Not. You're not getting your country back. You're not. It was well, they let like I say once you open that box, you can't put it back in. He has open that box. It's GONNA be generation it. It's a generation before we go back there's there is not the new normal is this right now because everybody's got cell phones, these feelings that people are having are not going away. They've been amplified. They've been put into the mainstream now it's a mainstream issue. that. We have to say black lives matter and then people immediately say all lives matter and blue lives matter that's not going away and the reason why people feel that way is because they don't have experience. You don't have experience with the black life so you don't know why they you. That they are saying it matters. It's take the politics out of it when a black person says to you, my life matters in your response to that is all life matters. Then why is that black life not included in that? Why is why is it a black person is telling you that their life matters why aren't black people screaming all lives matter that's the question you need to ask yourself and you scream at somebody all lives matter how come black people do not feel included in all lives matter. If you can answer that question, then you'll understand why why they're saying black lives matter because when it comes to all lives, nobody seems to give a shit about the black ones to no one seems to give a fuck and people are tired of watching themselves killed on the nightly news by people who shouldn't be killing them. Nobody should kill anybody but the Dasher shouldn't be somebody funded by taxpayers. And they should be held accountable when that happens where we are of what they're fucking criminal history is unless you have visual evidence of them in the act of murdering someone else because that's really the only reason you should be getting the death penalty if you kill somebody yourself. So if if a cop if a cop thank, you wrote a bad check, should they shoot you in the back seven times? If you tell a cop the, you have a gun permit you reaching your bag to get it out shit cop shoot you in the face with your kids in the back seat. No. That's that's the issue. Take all the George Soros Bullshit end up propaganda bullshit it ask yourself that question. Should this happen to anybody? For whatever agreed is crime you think they committed if the answer to that is, yes. Then there is no conversation it'd be had. If you believe that somebody should be shot because they had a fake twenty dollar bill I cannot talk to you. I can't change your mind. You have already decided that that is self a death penalty and that's where the conversation should need to start not whether their life matter. But why you think it's okay to kill them for twenty fucking dollars said it early so All this other, Joe Biden Donald Trump of take the fucking politics out of it because all of that Shit's really about finance. Anyway it's a financial gain to keep the system that we have. The system that we have is predicated on race. There's a reason why ninety six percent of all lawmakers have been white men. There's a reason that happens. There's a reason why they Ration- can be labeled as an individual and they can they can get. To write laws to help them make more. There's a reason for days. So if you're on the fence or you're not sure you hear people talk about why is this happening? You need to go to the root of why that's happening why is it beneficial for the system to rate the way that it's been operating because it doesn't cost old man anything when a black person is cops cops. Are having so many white people. Without the COPS, those old white people or people bad opinions they need the cops to enforce the law, the laws of the problem. So what happens is who funds who who backs, what what politicians are backed by police unions? Both parties exactly and so what happens is when you when your candidate I'm tough on crime is is a fake dollar is a fake twenty dollar bill a crime were death no, it's not but it's a crime and you got to be tough on crime and so there's no dissection between what actual law and order is is just Oh, I'm for pro-police regardless of how stupid the policing system is we don't know one breaks that down says, Hey, yes I want police but I want police do their job I don't want police to kill people when shouldn't be killing people it's just oh either your pro-police or you're not you're against police and you Don't think happily and it's like, where's the new ones? Yeah. Because as a black person in this country, you deal with nuance every day you walk out your house, you have to deal with the nuance of white comfort and why you don't belong there you have to you have to earn your place and when you're trying to earn your place, they're still telling you no matter what you do you still going to be a nigger you still going to be a Nigga. I'm still going to see you that way why? Because the system is designed for me to see that way and it isn't until you actually look at the reason why there is a barrier Why there's an increase income inequality until you actually look at those reasons. That this shit happens that you realize. Oh, fuck. This country is not what it says it is there's a reason why all those people off the Vietnam to die knowing they were going to lose. There's a reason why they did that. Part of that problem is that people who don't experience what the other side is going through look at the other side and say, Oh, they're just a bunch of wine and bitch ask cry babies. They don't sit down and have a conversation like, Oh, I'm doing that to you and that's not in my heart I believe that Christ is Lord and that we should love our neighbors. But here in my home we don't we don't act like that but then you allow all your friends and your your peers, you outsource the morality that's why I would I'm not voting for Joe Biden and I have no disagreement. That Joe Biden sleeping in the White House is going to be less than divisive than Donald Trump. But at the end of the day, it's exactly what Dion said like. I'm not going to vote for somebody who continues to allow the tools that are used to perpetuate the system. He's talking about your advocating for more laws do more enforce more and more interactions with the police more. More more at the end of the day I'm not comfortable outsourcing that to other people to use that force against other people I'm not going to vote for people who are going to to hurt other people in my name I. Just Hope we we always be hurt because we black. Yeah. Always we're GONNA. You you. You never got to know what it feel likes to be black and. I just I. Don't know a lot about politics, but I will say this if I was a little bit teary. And Donald Trump was in office our vote for less evil. And Right now. To me, Joe Biden is evil. Ain't none of them a no white man. That ever being president that I've only forty, nine, forty, eight that I ever thought. They gave a fuck about black mayor. No politician none of molesting was black. Dave everybody does it upset me when I want to say? Well, he may loss for black people to go to jail. Everybody before him made laws to hurt us. And they're going to continue to make laws to hurt us. But this bullshit I'm living in now I feel like I'm living the my mom namely through. You were you riding in the street and your white neighborhood and you don't even WanNa look over at a white person in the call 'cause you too scared that they might just fucking shoot you. That's how it feels to be black in America Chris. You know how bad I won't let Jimbo go nowhere. When is is you know as bad when I'm a convicted felon I want anybody in my house gun. When I'm giving my son hundreds of dollars a show him how to stand right to shoot motherfucker before they shoot them. In the might be right. We might never get all America back. Well, you can speak him and you know what people wasn't saw front with their racism. We might not think the goal is not. I don't think the goal is to change. I just need people to recognize just wreck if you WANNA be racist fine. Just wreck. Don't call me a liar when I tell you what you're doing. When I show you who you are, don't tell me I'm the fucking fool. Best you, this is what you are doing or what you are not doing by proxy. That's all I just because I know that you can't change someone's heart who doesn't want to change I. Know that for a fact I've witnessed I've experienced that you can't change somebody who don't want to change but you can't call them out on the lies that they tell themselves and our fucking line to yourself. If you think that racism doesn't exist and that is not a problem you are lying to yourself. Do you racism doesn't exist Chris? Of course? It exists yeah. No I mean. Fearful I'm looking dated the camera. It is fearful to be a black person in this country. You know when June Mba when my youngest son even kill I was crazy. And it's bad when you gotta tell black son keeping uniform all. 'cause you would think that they pull up. Sam His police looking at uniform. Oh. Okay. You know. I feel safe when I see my son in a uniform but my youngest son got a little twisted his hair who drive his car and I'm takes them all the time and I'm scared out of time, and that's no way to live. It's no way to live I I've told I've said so many time on his park rather fight brisk council in the fight to fear that I have every night there's somebody. Some white person going to shoot Jimbo A. Some racist officers gonNA, pull him over and put a dog on a killing any. I don't need I. Don't need to see the as millions of dollars. I just want to leave my fucking child alone. That's why I'm. The Shit that I mean I don't know if he was headed this way I don't know when Obama was in office she steamed up and people is like really crazy because they didn't want to black president. I'm quite sure it was if you use a true racist like you always bean. Shit looked like nineteen fifty to me. Yes. Oh I was talking to an older white male family member. and. They were like, Oh, it's just out of control in I'm curious on your your guys opinion on this because I'd never heard this person say anything like this. I was in the grocery store and I could just I saw this black guy staring at me and it's just so awful what's happened because now all the sudden I uncomfortable and I don't and I feel afraid of like this person. Staring at me. And I went yet but you're just experiencing that for the first time you realize that right? They go. What do you mean and I explained kind of what you just said. I hadn't thought about the about it that way. But like I thought that that was an instructive thing where this person who? Is going to vote for the system that is going to continue to perpetuate the thing that makes you afraid for June bug and I go like you realize every he's probably staring at you because he's afraid of you. And it had never occurred to this person I was just like. We're at a really like. Awful. Point. Where everybody's afraid of each other in like I don't know I don't know what to do with it. You guys I'm not afraid. That's part of the problem is fear. Shakeel you play your game out. Well, here's the thing though regardless of where I go in this country I, go on the road with deal I I don't fear people I don't know, and that's part of the problem is everybody is afraid of people they don't fucking know that will kill you and in of itself that fear of the unknown will kill you because it will drive your mind to places that you ain't got no business being fear. My biggest fear is for my black song you never have that fear Bassim understand that's an understandable fear. But at the same time you live you live A. Life of. Comfort that you should not have that fear Trayvon Martin was killed in the white neighborhood. Again. What happened to him? He wasn't afraid of George Zimmerman? He was going home. He was targeted. There's a huge difference between being target and that's what I don't want Jill to become. That's what I don't want. To be coming right on become you just don't know you can't. You can't speak for the racist individual right now is almost like they hunting us I would feel like they hunting US killing us. So frequent, I cannot remember in my life the way black people is getting killed naive who's killing our says I can. I just don't remember this type of killing from white people the police they're literally sticking dogs on US they're killing us I mean you might have a you know shit goes on in Chicago the different fucking. But I mean when you pay tax payer, you're, will you pay a person's salary? You don't pay for them to be killing somebody every other weekend and and then you don't go to jail, but you get a lawsuit. So since George Floyd died two, hundred, eighty eight people have been killed by police. There's probably more because that was like a week ago that I read that. So again. Is that more or is that just because we're more aware? I don't know I. I couldn't tell you because everybody has a phone. Now we're all seeing what what's been here because that's what I was. She was playing the the man being attacked by the dog I'm like, God, is this just like it feels like every other day there's another video which it didn't feel that way two years ago. But I don't know if it's just more frequent because the tensions are higher or what but is a combination of boat. Yeah. The fact that it's always been here, and now we're seeing it more and now we're trying to deal with it. You know you got. Like we have a cop friend who almost got killed. Because he was afraid to be one of the police officer killed another black person even though that person was shooting at him. Now I don't want any police to live that way. Yeah I don't want you to not. Nervous crazy 'cause I was calling him they day and he answered a foul. He's a shootout and I was like you know turn on the news it was your Nandy and it was and I was one for Kira faulk. He's like he's like he's the say to be honest with you some kids out there and I didn't want to shoot no fucking by the key I don't want to be a white man they kill. You should have shot that motherfucker but he's I was more concerned or the keys that was out there that day. But you got some just shoot, you read in front of you like the story out of Chicago, is that the the? The gangs there have all like have put a bounty on cops and like shots at cops have gone up like nine hundred percent this year. I, read that my heart sank for the cops like I started feel empathy for police officers and their families like just that that. Now how's that GONNA why? Why would they feel the need to put a bounty on police now I get what you're saying yeah, I understand. So it's like you create a new problem. We're not dealing with the old one right and it's like so you don't have you can blame them if you want to. But they will be doing that before why weren't they doing it before why? Why haven't there been bounties police for hundreds of years There's a reason why shit happens people call is tiger and you know when I heard, they'd House late man you know you I won't police officer to go home to their key is I wanted to I. wanted my heart is saying. But. As a black person in this country I, didn't know how to feel the blessed way for you to go home safe is to do your job the correct way no one no one kills. No one is dumb enough to kill a cop and think they're going to get away with it. Well, what about the two cups just kill it in La now I heard today was in some type of gain or something that was a hit out on. It's probably I've read that that's kind of that Chicago examples happening all over the places and then there. Was An gain or something some like I? Yes I think I was a hit on some shit I like. To. Know they lived and the two women that they had in the back of the car I think lived as well. Yeah and they have a long road to recovery, and then there were protesters outside of their. Hospital, it wasn't yet but like even a dozen people chanting and hope you die is like ugly. But what has like when people when why folks chanted they hoped George Floyd didn't give an ugly and it should be should be like the coalition instinct is these people are with me and I should just stay silent or speak on their behalf. When bad shit happens we should say like, Dion Right. Gang members putting bounties on COPs is horrible and ugly and shouldn't happen and the way to fix is to examine the steps of how we got there and change that link like not to encourage another step that makes it even worse that's going to make it even more violent. Do you think trump walk this year because we wasn't allowed just eight years ago now we were you just didn't see it. I mean traveling in Libertarian circles going to tea parties like. He would go to tea party I. Hope. I helped found the Indiana tea party I went to all that Shit and what you saw founded any antique did you was a racist? It was not a racist that's where that's. Wonderful. Lipton tea if you call anybody in the tea party a racist you like. That's offensive not party. Raises. His No. There were racist in the tea party. That's like saying all black lives matter. It's Marxist. If you're. If you're in the tea party and you hear the racist Shit and you don't really shut the fuck up get out of here. Yeah. The Tea Party doesn't exist anymore. This was ten years ago. That's what I'm saying you in. Teapot and you ate my reels. You've never made me reps what you eat over. Yes to. You A box. You have produces your podcast. You have a completely different conception of what the tea party is and then the reality of where the rooms that I was in apparently. Flat out I do have a whole for racist. I mean go fuck yourself. Really. No, there's no other thing for me to say then you're being rude as fuck right now you can go fuck yourself. Now she's just trying to me as you. Know the there is, but I will tell you ten years ago. There were definitely racist. Teapot a good day. Willie. It wasn't that kind of tea party. I didn't wear a big hat. No. The point is, is that those groups in those groups the reason I stopped going? After about a year. It was like all the sudden, all these dudes who are wind, the black and blue flags started showing up and you went I'm not going to be part of a militia. Oath keepers is a great example of one of those groups are like, yeah cops for the constitution cool and all the sudden. Now they're like we need to turn the US military on the blacks and you're like. How did you get from there to here like who you? It didn't take long but you saw in in Twenty Ten and twenty eleven you started to see the seeds of wh-. We see now like I'm surprised by none of this because in those tea parties in Dallas. Coming, but you didn't tell me that's what I'm saying. So again, you have groups that court that type of behavior. Absolutely. That's the southern, the southern sweetness. which you t? That's the southern strategies were low Nixon. Nixon. Would you go to sleep. So Nixon made the conscious choice of. T T ass motherfucker. Nixon made the conscious choice knicks. What happened t nichols? Stand up for yourself. For Yourself Chris you don't keep doing it. You know he was in the teapot I did. Not, two thousand nine. New. Party absolutely, we want blood pounds in two thousand dollars third by panthers we. Are You Black Panther now? Conduct forever. Book. I'm. Black. Black. With the old Ed dog name, I put a German shepherd black German shepherd. I didn't know I was hanging out with not potter your the creator of the not potter founder of it. All founder I have a found of the tea party for. Okay. Go Nixon. You were saying I was in a room fifteen other. Finish your point about Nixon. So what people need as as the party's broke down because in one, thousand, nine, hundred, sixty, for instance, Republican Democrat didn't mean Shit right it was. So as that broke down all the southern segregationists, the the Democrats under Johnson starting with. Kennedy and then Johnson said we're not interested in the union more thanks for your thanks for joining the Party and so they all. So Nixon said, I'm going to court all these people for the vote and sixty eight and then through the Republican Party. Through Nixon and Reagan, and Ford, and some of these other people they courted that vote and Ken Melman who is the RNC chairman two, thousand five actually came out and publicly apologized for this. So we don't we're not. You know we're sorry this was he went to the ACP and apologize for it and then. Trump comes along and says, fuck that they because he's Pat Buchanan's the one who came up with the southern strategy he worked for Nixon and Donald. Trump is a big Buchanan fan and Buchanan's one ninety two who started the cultural we're on the right we need to fight for anti antiabortion. We need Bob Dole who ran ninety six was the nominee was not pro-life Bob Dole was like if you want me to be pro-life in this, I'll be pro-life but he didn't give a shit about abortion. And so. Donald Trump is the last gasp of that courting of that wing, and once he dies there's going to be people like Tom Cotton who tried to take advantage of it but I think in the Republican world like there is a a pretty healthy portion of the people that like got called the establishment by the tea party who are just like. Fuck this we like the southern strategy is back, and this is like I've heard people who worked on presidential campaigns on these podcasts go. I knew what I was doing. I knew I was like an stoking racial tension and I knew that it wasn't great but it wasn't that bad like in terms of what we have now. But now I'm like one just wrote a book and he's like I'm sorry for at all like I'm personally. Too late for that. Yeah. See and that and that's my point is if you're one of those people who are trying to get your means to an end without giving the fuck about the guy standing next to you, you're part that's the reason why the shit is the way it is, and if if you can make a dollar off blood. and. Don't think can make dollar without blood then you're part of the problem. If you want to be a conservative fine be conservative but do you have to be that type of conservative the winking and nodding by the Republican Party at these people forever has bit them in the ass that's what they all they all talk about it. They all go all the sudden. We're the party of Cunanan. Well you gotta own it. You you courted the conspiracy theorist supported the racist. You quote it all these people because it was beneficial in your Tom Right but. I just I know just gotTa find more people that don't look like you to love. How to love multi, party creator. I had no clue. You'll part of the party. See have come out. I the class this forever he's he said it on the podcast before. Yeah I thought it was about drank it was about limited government it was about. Taxes it was about, and then all of a sudden it became about we need a Christian state and we need to force everybody to live the way we wanna live and I went. All right. Bye Bye. See you later. Too late then Yep you quit Oh. Yeah. You didn't call the police on until they were trying to make you live like them. No that's not how it works. You don't you don't ever. That's the way politics works. I. Don't put a gun in your face and demand you live that way I, outsource it to the government I'm thinking about kidnapping you to make vote for Joe. Biden. You just put it on record so. Nobody's GonNa to take one vote away from Joe Biden at the end of. That was under duress, which is A. Valid. There's going to be a lot of votes thrown out so. It's GonNa be a long long election season. I. Hope they both back right before November second be what do you think about the mail in balloting? I'm thinking Mellon this time. All right. So here's the key. So I've been part of recounts. It's a team of lawyers on each side standing over a ballot comparing your signature on your voter registration to the signature on your ballot. And if you don't cross T. than the other side's GonNa, go the if you're a A. Vote, for Biden, they're going to go the Republicans will go. They didn't cross their T. They didn't intend to vote for Joe Biden throw it out. It's not it's fraud, throw it out. So you need to call your clerk go check out how you signed your voter registration card. If you're in one of these swing states especially, Florida and one of the contentious counties see how you sign your name and. Make sure you sign it as close to that as possible. That's how they determine if it's fraud or not. Because it's pretty obvious if you like from sending a mail in ballot and the signatures are totally different, but that's not the game that they play. Those get tossed out twenty five percent of mail in ballots tossed out the ones that they face way to vote. You'd think standing in line and just. The. The best way is to show up at the polls on election day because to be honest if. The what everybody Kinda predicts happening is Republicans are gonNA turn out on election. Day We're going to have about three to five days where trump thinks he won, and then the mail in ballots are GonNa come in and Biden winds, and so if it's an overwhelming crushing win in Florida specifically for Biden on election night, it's over or if trump wins Florida that night it's probably over so. Florida's the one watch again. What can go wrong. A, lot in Florida. Have you not seen them? NASA people. I don't know. Yeah. We just try to make the world better around these other fuck. You know we are I challenge each and every one of you on both sides black white green blue if you have if you have a person that your Thanksgiving dinner in your family that you know. Don't speak kindly of people that don't look like you. You should call them out. Whether. You call him out yelling what you call them out speaking. Nice. But I really think that person should be confronted in front of everybody. Out of the whole family is racist, not everybody should be called out. Because until you start putting these mother focused on blast they're gonNA keep on, they can get away with it. I mean eventually the cat burglar get caught, you gotTa hold people accountable for what they are doing. Yeah. You GotTa, if if you're the racist person in your family, you need to be held accountable for that. When I think about my family and started put our families business out there. But you know my sister I know she's on my side because she's been vocal about it and I know that my brother is probably on our side but doesn't have the words he has the feelings, but he doesn't have the words and the second the other two of US start speaking up, he's going to go. That's it. That's what I've been thinking. You know like it's and then all of a sudden everything changes because it's three instead of one. And she'll be I. Remember your brother went to ask you with my son and he's telling my son don't go over there personnels their races new. Literally said that he literally uses a my son still talk about how spank your brother kept him from a lot of bullshit when he was a husky usually use fucking black key from Atlanta Georgia and his little closed minded state. Yeah. My mom was adamant about that and my mom is is The champ on that stuff like she she did. A good job of saying like. Racist. Household and I'm not gonNA teach my kids that. You know. I mean on both sides we can. What do we hate each other for? Apparently. If you in the tea party, you can go fuck yourself. You can. Glad to quick motherfucking tea party. Colombo to take you to starbucks. Niggle. TV coffee can I have some. These game black coffee. Black. No, he got green tea. Like Green Tea, he's agreeing he's agreeing. Libertarians Green. There's a lot of libertarians who are pro pro green of green way program. We'd Pro Green Tea. Kurt Program. T program money you know bordering wasn't for. Pro. Life Yeah he's So if somebody to write doing, get you pregnant you go. have it. Yes. Look and I have no problem with that. What I'm saying is you can't take away people's options. That's what I'm saying whether I want them to keep the baby or not is irrelevant I. Don't want to take away their option that's all I'm saying and when you do take away people's options, they go it gets worse it doesn't get better prohibition fails advertisements. So again, I don't understand why we are supposed to be the greatest country in the world while we can't solve simple problems with simple solution is called. If you're vibe white me here Bible tells you this wrong. Then you yourself don't do it but if I don't adhere to that fucking Bible, you have no right to tell me I should have to listen to anything that's in that fucking book period. That's why hey, when is this is a Christian nation we've gotTA have fuck out as ship why best best way you believe. So you teach that in your house but when you leave your house, you need to understand that not everybody operates that way. lloc it doesn't make the world go round patches nailed it. It's control. It's a need for control and it's ruining. Didn't fear why means why means can no longer slaves but they're gonNA find a way to control sheer. Control, the needs of control is not is not a racial. The Republican. This country want you to have an abortion that is all white means. White me imperial who continue to pay down bullshit of one I control I told you use affirmative action is we don't why people why women use affirmative could they tired of baking your Shitty pies? It's a combination of a bunch of bullshit base. Yeah. It was white may want to be in control I can tell you what to do. You can't tell me a motherfucker. Nigga, if you make any league is always a bitch and a kitchen, there was soaked somebody of you say where you can get your head and kitchen by bitch you don't have a license to do your hair. You can get a boy about license until Nagin. Naeli. Stupid I did. I won't tell you what to do. When you criminalize something that shouldn't be criminal it should be treated like a medical issue because it is a medical issue just just like with addiction people addicted to to math. Some medical condition as a chemical imbalance in that person and instead of locking them up, you should get them treatment and if they want. If. It works works but here in America, the pro, the the right wing this country is like what we can't have that because of the kids and I'm like look your kids those is the main motherfuckers doing in Campbell Ohio. They have a drug problem. They don't put you in jail they put you in Rehab they get you council. Get you treat me here in America, they lock you. Only fucking choice. There's a great documentary on it called the House I live in and a basically just like the war on drugs is a for profit system to warehouses the bottom ten percent of the economic ladder because we don't know what to do with people who were born the country curry's read fuck much and come up with this intelligence to equal Lida bottom of what's going on. I. Just say it's a movie idea. You should also check out Portugal when they decriminalized heroin than overdoses drop to almost zero. Portage. I guess. We're back to the bread and Butter Ladies and Gentlemen Fall Circle. It's a country. It's right next to Spain. Oh I thought she was like poltergeist. Ghost don't do Math Mus Pat. And Vampires Potato. Chips. Cattle fucking no. We won't get. y'All we. Hope, you'll enjoy it. I love talking about this sheet because we love each other and we try to. Bring everybody a little bit closer and don't forget this Thanksgiving call out there races in your family. No matter if he black white or what local manufacturing say Daddy. Enough or your bullshit this is not nineteen, twenty, nine nil. Call Your White Data Analytical. And you tell me he keep on fucking around you gonNA push it in the Pumpkin Pie. Thank you all so much for tuning into another episode of the pet down. Make sure you check out my website at MS, pack, company Dot Com for all of my social media my tour dates my book make sure you spread the word about my podcast please rate every beep. Please rate and review share say Catholic Alabi. Ms Pat.

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#1312 - Ms. Pat

The Joe Rogan Experience

1:51:18 hr | 1 year ago

#1312 - Ms. Pat

"Hello, friends, and welcome to the show. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by squarespace. Squarespace. What, what are you talking about? It is a website where you can make a website now. I know for most people that seems completely out of your realm, you like what I can't make a fucking website. But you can if you know how to do regular things on your computer like if you knew how to attach a photograph to an Email or move stuff around on your desktop drag and drop. Do you know do that? We'll that's what you need to make a bitch and website with squarespace. They have an easy to use drag and drop user, interface and beautiful designer templates that will allow you a regular person to make a fucking amazing website, and they have twenty four seven award winning customer support in case things ever get squirrelly on you. They have built in search engine optimization. You get a free online store, and you get a free domain name if you sign up for a year. 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Also, the most convenient way to buy bitcoin, because most bitcoin exchanges require five days, or more for the Bank transfers to become investable. With the cash apt, the only takes seconds. So what the fuck are you waiting for download the cash out from the app store or the Google play market today? And when you download the cash app entered the referral code Joe Rogan five dollars will go to you and five dollars would go to support our good friend, Justin Rennes fight for the forgotten charity, which is building wells for the pygmies. It's a true win-win, so download the cash apt today and we are also brought to you by simply safe. A recent Gallup poll survey showed Americans worry more about burglary than any other crime. More than mugging more than terrorism more than car theft and murder. Jesus. How does this? According to the studies over ten percent of break ins are planned beforehand, and the rest are spur of the moment crimes of opportunity in other words, there random, and did you know that most break ins happen between six AM and six PM. It's the middle of the day. And according to the FBI the average loss in a burglaries over two thousand dollars and that could be hard to recover from his over two million burglaries reported every year. It's one every thirteen seconds. Jesus. And what's really crazy is at only one in five homes as home security. Let maybe it's because most companies don't make it very easy. That's why simply safe is your top choice. Simply say protects your whole home every window every room and every door with twenty four seven monitoring for just a fraction of the cost of other companies. The police dispatch is up to three point five times faster because they use video verification, there's no hidden contract. No hidden fees. No fine print. It's designed to blend, right in your home with no wires no drilling and it's easy to order. Easiest setup takes under an hour. And SimpliSafe has won a ton of awards from seen it to the New York Times, wire cutter prices are always fair and honest, and around the clock monitoring is just fifteen dollars a month. Hm. Visit SimpliSafe dot com slash Rogan. You'll get free shipping and a sixty day risk-free trial. You got nothing to lose go now. It'd be sure you go to SimpliSafe dot com slash Rogan. So that they know this show sent you. That's SimpliSafe dot com slash Rogan. My guest today is absolutely one of the funniest human beings on the planet, her her stories are so fucking insane. And so heartbreaking, and also whole Larry's at the same time, it's I don't know anybody like MS, Pat and. I talked her into doing a podcast she's got her own podcast now. It's called the Pat down, and we tried to talk her, and some other stuff on the show today to I love her to death. Please, welcome the hilarious. An amazing. Ms, pat. The Joe Rogan experience joy. Joe Rogan podcast by. Miss Pat rely, what's up? How are you? Hey, great to see you again. Glad to be back man studios better than my house crab. I'm gonna go Tim is we need to move in Joe Rogan. Studio does not a lot of room for extra people. I know I'm not I'm not going was just found signs but he's still in Indianapolis. Unfortunately, you don't like it there. Hail now. I like my pants, but I'm black and, you know, his snowing snowing, we don't go together. And, you know, I just don't like it, it's the same everybody eat at Applebee's and golden corral on the culture outer yeah. Why don't you cargo? I'm I wanna go back to Atlanta Atlanta. That's why I wanna be. I wanna be in Atlanta. I love Atlanta. Yes man, the food of Dessel. Yes. I just I wanna walk out my dole and smell Mexican Indian, I'll type of spices, allies mail and my communities dog shit in ticket. Torches. And dry your seats because white women. Do they lunge dryer, she? Yeah. I need some coaching. I need to walk outside of Seattle tight. Some people isn't it weird places. Just never develop a lot of culture someplace. It's just the spots. Just never get any more interesting. Yeah. It's so bored. Everybody go to church. Nobody Kerr's when I come on my door. And if I'm talking to a neighbor, not use professor. I said, I'm not gonna change my language because you decide to walk your dog today and stop in Maine. Talk to me, and everybody up dog she they might community and well from, hey, that was fertilizer. Usually your name with a big old pound of Dowell crap in his hand. I'm like, dude. No, no. I don't think it works as fertilizer, was my dog pisses and shits on the lawn. Just leaves these big old like yellow and it rains on. They just go into the grave. That's true. They don't care. They don't kill the grass. I did the pissed us to piss seems to kill the grass. I don't know. We didn't have. No grave, everybody walked through the grades getting care about loans until came became a homeowner. Yeah. Homeowners care about lawns homeowners care about a lot of crap. You have to. Yeah, I have a rental property in Atlanta and Mike. And get rid of that, I would never have black people come up with some of the strangest things. What ain't got they like ASA opposed to care. I'll tell them Bank of America don't care, that your mom that your your grandchild, had a seizure. I need my rent money put us boom in his mouth. Tell me about seeping. Yeah. I'm getting. I mean, I'll be so glad when I can get rid of this property, so you own a place in Atlanta. Yes. Would you live there at the place a own? Hell no, no, no. I'm a little too you for that booze. I got out here. Success, too much to says, I'm a little too booze little bit. But I rent it out. I ran out some nice place, but you would live in Atlanta somewhere else, how, yeah I wanna go to peace, three city. Kennesaw? Live in Atlanta. I love it. Lanta. Why don't you make you way down there? What's, what's new in Indianapolis healthcare, Jeff healthcare? My husband has a really good job that we pay nothing. His knee. Just went out his hands on going out, and I can't pay them types of things. What him he towards ACL run into the cafeteria work. Oh, yeah. I've done that Don tour, both of them, you probably will exercise going to get food. Don't want this episode of Joe Rogan, baby. I'm sorry. Tune out now, sir. That's a rough one recover from till he's six months. Yeah. Six months as he competent in his hands and get rid of him. Handsome type. What does he he builds the Allison transmission for Alison? Oh motors. Promoters, always constantly moving things with his hands. Yes, it was handed connel's a bitch. My mom got that that's a rough one. Well, I never had a job. Why did that much repetition, you know, sold drugs and checks? Wasn't an everyday thing I had to do. So you've checked it up to four carpal tunnel. Yeah. A lot. So that was burned thirty two. You don't have any mo- to tomorrow. You gotta went to somebody steal the next book. Plus I was really young back in the day. Yeah. Damn. So that's what's keeping apple husband. Husband on TV show, so I can get some really good health care, where your podcast is launched now, it is, it's called the Pat down Pat down, and I have my own song to oh, thank. Yes, we're talking about Ari. Yes. But argon in trouble for putting other people's songs on his podcast and the D monetize podcast. Yeah. My nephew. Riverdale shouted made me my own pet down some nice. So, yes. Also many made a song for you. That's yeah, yeah. I was just trying to do something different. He's only thirty minutes of me talking crap about whatever's going on in my life. You mckee's in the background getting cost out. You hit a credit a Colin me and my co host la-, whiteboard named Chris who don't know nothing about black America, and then I got my friend. Who is he ready to go March? If you if you need him too. I got I got his libertarian this crazy as democrat together, and I'm down a meal and say, hey, we can all get along. And they hated each other their furs. How'd you get them together because they hated each other. Yeah. My black friend thought Chris was racist. And I was like, no I know racist. He's not racist. Each is not e to the fake, and so I would not eat you'd tell them what I'm trying to say now eve, oh, naive. Now you've got to translate. Yeah. Trying to go with this, but it sounds like Adam and the so he just didn't understand. So we get them together. We have these conversation about race and we did an episode about abortion. And Chris was he's really Christian and he was like I was like, do you believe a woman should have a right to have an abortion? He just pit a pet out around Chris just say, yes, a fucking. No. And finally said, I don't believe a woman should have an abortion. I say that's fine. But this is my vagina and I can do what I want to do with, if I wanna stick firecrackers in my John and turn it into the fourth of July Joe Rogan. This is my vagina, as long as I don't get Nova, John juice. Oh, you dummy sense is. In inland has got a problem now without right? Isn't that Georgia just passed a new abortion law? She just cancelled her shows. Yeah. She's canceled. Her shows in Atlanta, because I think it passed I think that was the idea. That's why she canceled it. Now think you pay joke because the TV people have them pulled out, you. Oh, you can't it would if it passed I think they would think the money got them in there, because the tax money. Yeah. And I think they're leaving it get lose their jobs. I don't think they're gonna leave. I don't think the what it should be telling us what to do with our bodies. I don't think so either. Yeah. I mean you know, I've been shot in the that my one-minute messed up. So that's like you trying to tell me. I should get my teeth fix if I don't want my titty fish is my prerogative. I shouldn't have to have my defeats right Joe. How do you feel about late term abortions? That's where people get scared. Squirrelly. Yeah. I don't think you should be killing having abortion and no six to eight months now and I don't think it should be recreation, either because I had an abortion wreck. You're just doing it for fine, right? Oh, I've had a few freeze. Today. What I was thinking about riding a roller coaster, but fuck it I'll get an abortion. I've had a few friends ahead quite a few abortions. Now, I've had one myself. I mean my in my situation, I think everybody's situation is different my situation. I was I already had my first baby at fourteen my second child at fifteen and it was by mayor man. Well, I got pregnant about his mayor man again. And I just looked at myself. I say here I am seeks teen pregnant with my third child. I cannot take care to get and you know, it was all of this stuff like, what they tell you about birth control and say six that wasn't going on in the eighties. You know, people shedding they those and talking wouldn't even talk about it. Well, especially when you were a little kitten, you're, you're fourteen I was a kid. So when I got pregnant with my third child, I became a massive paid in minor in divorce. My mom, and I went and got an abortion because I knew he wasn't helping me with the first two so crews, so story on the first podcast and still to this day. Sometimes I'll be doing something, and I'll just. About your store in the scope. Sound drugs as a teenager pregnant with two kids by the time you're sixteen rain. Crazy in jail. I mean dropped out of school in eighth grade. You know, all of this stuff, and I just say, I said, I don't want my kids in a blade me. So, I was like, I can't keep having these babies. And after that, I got on birth control, and I just prayed at home won't Nomo kid about his bomb, and I never got pregnant. So I got married. Well, that's good. Yeah. So now have those two I used to tell a bit about, I got set a Medicaid kids instead of Blue Cross Blue shield kid. So I wanted to they got older. I mean, I got older, and I became I started to learn about life. He taught me a lot. And so I had those last two and I taught my tunes for very good move. Yeah. I'm for more than that's a good number. But, you know, Joe on black so my family smoked Craig so to keep giving me kids, and so I had time to, to make room for the crack baby. They keep coming in and not my I'm raising four right now. Yeah, I have my niece my niece, my picked up, my niece like five years ago to help her out. She had a baby that was two weeks old. And I have this thing like I ho- keys deserve of solid foundation because I didn't have one. So I picked this my thirst kids, I've raised. And I'm just forty seven so I pick my niece up, maybe two weeks old, and she got three other kids, I said, okay, I got this big house in Indianapolis come with me. I got three full extra bedroom. Well this bitch ran off left me with him. Now, I have a five or you with her, too. Yeah. On a ten and eleven year old, and I've had these kids for six years. And I literally have not seen my niece and almost four years. No phone call. No, nothing. And you know, I'm trying to build a career. So I have a daughter who my whole my, my kids who at the house, and they had to make a major sacrifice, like my daughter, couldn't go off to college because she don't want to leave my husband with these four kids. So she went to college in Indianapolis, but she, she went mostly from home. My son can go off to college because they at home helping raise the four kids that I called my crack babies, but they're raising my crack babies because you don't want to leave my husband would forty crack babies by sales. So, you know, where's the mother, you want to hear some great the beast block me on Facebook job? She won't even let me be afraid face. You'll take care of her children. She blocked you. On Facebook, watch you block. You can't sell them a kill you bitch. I was ready to Liam best life. I was older mix the money. My husband go to Hawaii getting naked floating in the water. Bam fo- crack babies. You can't you don't want to take the how why you call. I can't take credit. Oh my God. Yeah. So I mean it chain is changed everything. And then, you know my when she left and she didn't even give me Custer had to go and hide his lawyer and go and get custody because she just ran off and I asked the, you know, the welfare system in Indianapolis, I can ya'll just give me childcare childcare was going to be like, eight hundred dollars a week because my kids was in high school when she left and they was, like, no, we can't give you that. But we will give you Medicaid and three hundred dollars. They, they didn't. They didn't give me shit. Jesus christ. So I just I just made away myself. And I said, you know what I've had this baby since she was two weeks old. How do you drop a baby that you've had since she was two weeks old Presley your baby now? Yeah. You can't I can't give blocked you. Yeah. So fucking crazy. The mother blocked you know where she is? No. Oh my God. No. But we did make a secret can't right of a nice fine man. Like yourself Joe Royle nice fine black man. And we we, we ended her. So she is sent to the free. So she don't know that that's us. And she only SNIA podcast, so I can tell so we follow her like that. So she's on the other side of town getting high. Never hit me up. Never talk about the kids. You know, I don't get a dime from nobody nobody and excellent. I mean, I'm just at this point, I'm thankful that I can even take care of these kids 'cause my sister was on drugs and not took care, her keys. My niece was on drugs now. I took them for ten years with my husband and she's on drugs. Now, the door is on what am I supposed to get them back and got him out on drugs, like her was cross? So I made sure that these kids can't go back to that situation. Now, call him my boobs crack babies, they won't even eat. Mcdonald's only cheek fillet. Oh, we don't eat Meg Donald's, we eat chick fillet. And I was like, I remember when you eat at all baby. They give me great material, but is not easy. But I'm no you call them crack babies. No. They don't. Damn kids crack? They don't know. I call them. Only American noted I call them crack babies, but y'all can't call them crack babies Comart God, do they call you, mom. They do in his council. Calling me mom out of nowhere. Don't coming fucking. Mama tea now. Just let them go beautiful. Well, they go to school, and they see out of living his white community say all these kids won't mom and daddy, and, like, why don't we have, and it just started calling me mom, and so we're mom and my daughter, who she just graduated from college, but she's got two moms, and then my dad, my husband is their daddy. Yeah. I love the what thank you. That's a beautiful thing. You're doing it really is. Even though the, the ladies cont. Kids in the black man. She's a bitch. She was she got lucky. They got lucky. He really did it really talking on a Disney cruise last year, Joe and oh my God. They had the time or they live look at my Craig, babe. They don't know what I don't say impromptu, Craig. They're on a Disney cruise yet Craig by indeed and cruise with matching outfits. But I love him. I mean raising that you're doing that really is. I mean no, it's hard. But it's amazing that you're doing that. Well, you know, like I said early every every child is a solid foundation start on. Unfortunately, for me. I didn't have this solid foundation. I didn't have nobody to step in my life. And you know snatch me from my mom, but, you know, whenever the child and needed special. Family member always try to step in because I know I know when you don't have that solid foundation, where you can end up in some kids, in, you know, even with a solid foundation. But if you can give them a good star at least give them a good start. That's all I ever wanted to do. That's beautiful son is killing me. Put black Craig White community kid, be reading since they will they will we'll put my black Weber as Joe. Royle's tutors. Outgun alone. Like, who when you crack babies catch up when y'all get to this podcast take off? Yes. Yes. Yes. TV show. These does don't just need a podcast, keep going. I know I'm enjoying the two hundred perfect for it. Like that's what we were talking about the comedy store. It last time I saw four o'clock in the morning. I was like you've got to you have to you, right you. Right. And I really like it too. I knew I was like it doesn't make any sense that you don't have one. Yup. And enjoying it. Thirty minutes. They've always Peggy more excuse me. I'm sitting here with no wheat on. No, no bail. And Chris might be smelling me at the thirty five minutes. This is all you get. Plus, you know, he come over at four three o'clock, and in my baby's come in and do it for Klux task dial screaming and hollering. I gotta go fix food and got a life. I'm married. I can't sit down for you know, this is fine as long as you're consistent. That's. That's the whole thing is like be consistent. Don't take weeks off. Like when when people take four weeks off. I was so people forget and then not interested in your podcast anymore. But if you, if you just consist it and just keep doing it people get it becomes a part of their routine. And then they tell people you gotta listen to miss path podcast and see. No by word of mouth spreads. Yeah. I mean we, we have so many episodes in the Bank, how many I think we probably twenty anybody. They wasn't as good as the ones that I put out regular but, you know, we're not I thought I was kinda shied low. What I'm I'm southern you look how many times you have to say what the fuck did you? I was kinda shy. The lettuce word I would ever use for you fight, but I'm kinda shot Joe. I mean you know, 'cause I'm contrary and people look the book. I actually talked about you on my first one. So when I did a podcast it was his story out that Joe Rogan is a bad, and he choked out mountain line. And I was like I don't wanna go to know white men, and hook fuck and Matt line that's made up stores. No. But I didn't know at first and I was so scared Joe gives a mountain lion. Killer goes out there choking. I'm used to black people doing drab I used to why people took it out of mount LA figure how to fuck you get up on a mountain line. Sneak own amount line from behind it took the shit out of them. He kinda be strong. So I kept digging, and I realize the store was. I didn't want to know white folk. You know, I see you that big way is big on horse. I know he killed their fucking mount lines. While for me to realize it took about two about a month before. I realized that story was very well, sister, didn't think mild thought it was real really Texan me because you really choked out amount. Is wrong with you? You bad as you only, you sneak up on a mountain line and choke. I don't think so. Well run with a knife. When I run, I carry a knife with me just in case because there's outlines in my community. Really? Yeah. Yeah. They've seen him then a run with my dog in from outlying. Tries Jack me and my dog, I wanna have something on me. So you if he Jackie doll, stamping fuck. Yeah. You know, I was just telling the story about my you know, from the south. Right. So back in the day, don't get offended people. But, you know, dogfighting is big in the south. So we didn't fight like no dangerous. She, we just put them down late as on ground who have adult get the best they win. And download my dog's name. Pup pup now or later candy now in laters candy, candy, you have the dogs fight over candy. Yeah. Split cane. The kid if it wins on black dogs, eat anything, then green peak feet, whatever black black people doubt, food, so we will me, my dot will fight a lot. But if you got the best of my, I would jump in and we'll peel down as. You know what my own land germs. Then I'll be calling every time I'm abusive down because I don't own fucking got folk crack babies and I don't have a now, this was begging the day, and I was a little girl, but that's what we used to do. It is a big thing in this out, period, a new guy who had thirty pit bulls and his backyard. He had these boxes that the dogs Livni's little dog houses, and they were chained to a post and they were in his yard and I, I didn't see it. My friend was telling me about it, but I knew the guy he lived down lived in Kentucky. Yeah, we lived in Kentucky, and they fought dogs. Well, we, it would just keys. We'll be who have adult get the best of dollars. They that's the winning now. So if I thought putt putt will buy the get go down on his back, I would jump in and put your dog in a chokehold because I like raffling our fish. Yeah. I, I will and folded sheet out of your. I was not losing them. Now lady Joe, we didn't eat a lot. I can lose my only meal that day you're only meal was now or later today. Was it on the sidewalk below? We will pop up it will split the now later while there's a lot of people right now. Listen like this lady for real, and I can shoot assure them that you are. I'm for real young crazy fucking life. You know, I mean, there's so many people that are insulated from the kind of life that you've had they don't know anybody like you. You know. So I'm realizing that, Chris, my producer I get shit on it. And we'd like, why are you yelling at me? I'm like, Chris. I'm not yelling, you know, in a black woman to twist and hunting taken off a week and bra. I'm yelling. I'm just talking, my voice, I have a deep voice and it carries. It was crazy. 'cause like I say he's a little white kid from Indianapolis. And so I'm talking on the puck has I'm teaching them about black pussy incense. You've heard of that, pussy incense. Yeah. You know that you burn the black people use about in the house, are nobody incense pussy me down. It wasn't real. So we put out the puck has mom. Mama. Say black push. The it was the best sent out there. Joe? What it is. Mel, I like incense. Yeah. The name of not told told him about, and he's like, what are you talking about? I'm, I'm telling you black is everybody listening to art, Kelly embark bland puts incense on a Saturday morning cleaning out, everybody. Artello Liam berm black pudding. So every week every week, I'm teaching him something that he is never heard of. What do you think about all this shit? I think he did a Joe. I mean, people people just looked away, you know. You know. I tell a bit on stage has some about a big dick man beat dick black man. They can't read they put down. Can't put it up. I couldn't read he ain't got no side teeth and they can't read, they got the best sakes, they practice out of time. Black Mizzou, Kate Reid don't have safe like black me is who got a nine to five who can't read the sex is totally different because they're not tired, because they practice oughta do practice on women. You got my husband got to go to work. Joey got time flipping me over slapped me calls head. Wanna get a loan? Would you got a brother that case read and don't work? The best sakes, now he'll go to work, but you're gonna watch the young and resolute and housewife over lamb. But when you know when he gets back dig laying on that pillow for you. I know a Whitney used to win through. Putting. You know, yet work even harder because yet more money than him, right? Yeah. That's true. So he had a mean they put up on Instagram the other day of how every dude, whose girlfriend is paying for everything stands, and it's like a guy standing with his arm deep around the girl, deep around holding on the waiting in line for things baby in public, always bay holding the hand. You can't get my home. The whole my hand. You know what you pay the mortgage. Call home your essay, I love you say thank you. I mean to be I was on the phone my brain one day. So I was listening to my husband. My husband funniest folk. So I said, hey, I said, a baby, you want some pussy. He say not at all. No. I, I didn't say nothing. I what he's knowing our. Type of relationship. Fuck me on the fourteen 'cause I think of late, and I need to get some stuff chance. He say not at all Joe. We bought a sleep number bay, and he's like, because his knee was missed by the sleep number bed. I'm gonna put it out every time like fuck out. So I just gotta deal with FOX for my TV show. So I walk in there, I walk in them sleep number like a real negro, when they get the money give me the best fucking bad, you won't. 'cause I'm fuck every night. Thirteen thousand I'll sleep number, but I know you wanna do see because he was his system. Getting metro split down the middle to metro separate split down the middle. Time. I wanna say you won't come to American Bush. The harder side. Always I fucked with two metrics to south on. Clovio. We don't gave it. We did fucking the middle. And by the time we get through the fuck metrics, fill out the band 'cause we in the middle of the whole. And having the time just. The remote my week. Everything. Get my TV show owned by me, a metric poodles back the bugging gal. Yeah. I didn't like that sleepnumber. Try that thing. I was too confusing. I didn't like it. He loves Joe airtime. I come home. He got his feeding air like he had a gun a college visit one of those. I'm like this measures only good for your balls. We could have got your blow dry. Your balls up. They sell matches now that cool you Mark system was. I wanna get one. Awesome. Yes system was just telling me about that. I'm going through menopause. I might need to get that through. I'm be heating up Joe there. He almighty, I'm like, I'm having a hot flash now and I don't wanna drop materials all your table. But boy, in here, I don't feel Joe when you get a AC K stop. No high Flesch's like five minutes. He up now but. Yeah. Goes away what does that caused by? I don't know you gotta as Mary. I don't know what Mary dating the beginning those Mary with Jesus mayor with Jesus Jesus on about who. You mean Mary Mary, but who do you mean when you're saying, merica, no eve? We started here you. Who debit everything up? Yeah. Talking snake. Talk is Nate. I mean, I'm cramps ain't no joke. And now. Bill. Came in between the by the F I won't buy take half. I'll be on a plane with TD heat up white me next on the stand while got material. Fam- yourself off. Yes. Yes, comes and goes. Like how glass five minutes and then? Let's go back to Phnom and like I'm cooling down now so nowhere. You just get hot. Yeah. And it hit you in different places like mines is could between my on my neck, some people's up on the OEMs, you know, into a spot or warn smile. Hit me read here, my titties, my tits heat up. Like if you took the ninety five degrees. Don't touch him 'cause you mayor. But I'm just saying fingers goes more than two thirds of North American women who are headed into menopause have hot flashes. They also affect women who start menopause after chemotherapy or surgery to move their over doesn't say anything on why. It's North American. That's what I was wondering it says, what is a hot flash is feeling of heat. Sometimes a red flesh facing sweating. We don't know exactly what causes them, but the may related to changes in circulation. I guarantee if they happen to men, they'd know exactly what caused them fitness, the figured out. If they if they can fix a soft painters. Yeah, yeah. They'll fix the mandate, but we can't do without body fixing solve and everything else will be solved. No. I don't think that would work there things that can't say, stop fixing. Unlearn did have to unlearn via look just let the mandate due to do when it died, let it die. Then that's, that's the point where the lady needed note, you need to put some CoCo butter on the hippie slide across it that. That's going to help either when his always Alva right? I guess. Yeah. Yeah. People think that they would be happy when it's over, like good finally women will happen when they Pierce, don't come on them. Pena's door because for men like your dick not working as a sign of you, don't you know. Yeah. For sure. Hey, you feel you're not a man anymore. Oh, really? Yeah. So I don't feel like I'm not a woman my parents, we'd be happy. He it's different if you pussy dried up and became useless, like sealed up. Like nothing, you know, like maybe meet a man, maybe you and your husband get divorced. You met a man. He's beautiful. Can't read. So he's got good dick and put it in a mess down there. Yeah. Saying, I'm black it. Grow real thick. So it was always miss down. I call it Nepi grew out of Jackson Five air. Fro-. I mean for some women it matters. But I guess because I started really early. I don't wanna dig I won't healthcare. No. You ain't gotta do that to me. It's true. I put for men though. It's like a sign of weakness weakness. Yeah. Yeah. You don't feel like a man anymore. But if you love that person, I think he read it you willing to the deal with the softness. Yeah. Especially if you don't want any dick. Yeah. You want dick and his. Ice cream sticks around it. Oh a brace. Someone broken. Lucky you break your leg in the forest strap. It. Twigs. What else would I was doing before? I ever came along. I don't know what they were doing. That's what that's why they kill rhinos. You know, rhino horn, they think rhino horn gets you dick hard really doesn't do shit. Do you eat the I guess they make a tea out of it really doesn't even work, but guys have been taken rhino horn forever to, to get their card and so much so that now that it's forbidden and it's expensive because it's forbidden, it's like a sign of luxury like you drink in rhino horn T. It's a big thing. And apparently some Asian countries like with, like people. We have Dixon Asian. They don't. I mean I heard it was small. Well, I have a girlfriend six Asian the baby's. Right. But she don't have any scripts Mars. And I was, you know, most women get stretch Mars. Right. But I don't think it has to do at dick, but I'm saying small babies. So I'm just assuming what would have been. It's like I don't know to fuck. I'm talking basketball player was the giant dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What about that guy? If he has a normal size, he tal- he ain't got no Dicky's to here. To you. He pissed on the top of his pains. It's a way. Amanda brought James is tall to. He had a lot of and TV today bet. Oh my God. When he went to go scripts. I was like, I'm not into young dick like that. But that was nice. And I. I'll tell you somebody else who got a nice, Nick ex-boyfriends safari. He broke the internet wait it he broke in and that was hit a curve, any Joe fuck in it. You can act. It could probably await in. It's fucking weight room here, it was so big it can fit on at home only at pad action. I was sitting to everybody bitch. Look, you today, you blade and he made a little five minute video that thing swinging like American flag on top of building. It was nice that's thing like you either have a big dick or you do not. There's nothing you can do about it. Like there's operations dudes get somebody just die from that. Yeah. Billionaire diamond cellar. A guy was a things in Europe, somewhere in Europe, some billionaire diamond trick, Daffy Dc implant while they were doing operation. And when they put him under two complications of anesthesia died. He was like sixty five years old, too. I mean, when you sixty five wouldn't you think you're like, look. Had this thing. Oh my diamond dealer. Who's not going to turn this down probably some young little floozy with. And she's just a few dick was a little bit bigger. Maybe I'd be happy bid you going to be happy anyway. Naaman diller. Maybe not. Maybe there's other diamond dealers wanna give her a bigger dick. You know, depends on hot girls, some, some girls get a lot of offers. I get no offers. What's up James that remember that's thing? They slide in there that piece of plast. Oh, that's right. It's the implant. A mess website for it. And numa. Wow. Look at this shit. Look, they take a look at that. It's like a webbing. Yeah. Put the glasses on. Has grown. Extra large and extra extra large, who the fuck is going to go with large large the fuck out of here. You're gonna get put under and they're gonna stick a Rodney dick do. It's a well let's play the video for you guys to see not the, the new most. So, yeah, the people online are not gonna build this. But see that does dick that's, that's a regular deck. Now what they do is they do, see if you have a dig like that Jesus Christ. Don't get it cut just deal with it just deal with it. But some people there's never you know, some people want crazy ship. So they take this. Put a slice above the deck. Watch whoop sees. Like a c section this take, maybe exactly the open that shit up like a chain first, and then they slide this tube. And they gigging gig. And then they. Caparo. So that's what that, dude. Got he didn't make it out. The house Bill. No. He's dead now. He's dead big-box diamonds at home with a big. The big dick part. So it makes you dick fatter, and longer and the procedure takes proximity Forty-five minutes, sexual activity can typically be resumed in four to six weeks. Patients are ambulatory the next day. Oh my God. Ambulatory and was returned routine daily activities in two to three days. Patients do not experience any issues with urination after the procedure possible risks complications alternatives and benefits will be discussed by the surgeon prior to the procedure. Oh, and you could fucking die. Any time you get put under? I mean, that's not how Connie's mom died, didn't she from plastic surgery? I think she was getting a stomach, Don. I think a lot of that is just wanna finish losing weight. Don't do it don't lie. I want my titties lifted. You don't Joe. Getting put under what I worry about. Well, she, I mean I wanted nifty understand, hall when you got big titties, and they all in your lap. And she when you borough come do you want your to work out of shower her teething they've been in dry by feel you understand what you're saying? Titi live there woman. Done. I want you to stay alive pattern alive. I love you. I want to give me a juvenile to don't do it. Don't do it. Don't get tightened up. I don't even want anymore. Pampa. Oh my God. But we'll rejuvenation fix. I got a leak that a poem came fake. What's happening here just to. He's my friend. There's only reason I could tell. That's all right. I don't know. I don't know. Kim cadastre them. Don't knows? I'm okay with a black nose. Thank you. So I would like to get my stomach done, so I can see my John. It's been a long time. We've been disconnected for a long time. Have you ever gone diet? Yeah. Didn't like it. I. And it just stop. So I stopped he's like you gotta go to the gym. I'm like, no. Lost one hundred pounds, just dieting, no weight loss surgery ago. That was real juicy almost four hundred. So you had the stomach stapled thing. No, I my stomach could. Yeah. It was. It was. It was easy as hell really. Yeah. Allows I was almost read at four while in allows like so you lost one hundred pounds and then they go to the gym you like fuck you. I'm just so busy. There's no fucking excuse. I mean trainer that could be another podcast. You complain at the gym that it would be hilarious. Yeah. Would be complaining that would be hilarious. Something crazy my kids affect because the parents, the key is a fan. My son was four hundred ten pounds, joke, and leaving his white neighborhood, and it couldn't get no pussy literally went on a diet. Joe? When I tell you this boys, two hundred and twenty pounds and every night when we go to bed he go into Patrick throw away the junk, and I say, you got one more time to throw away my month for food. He's that he read everything he just go to the gym. He was fat his folk. That's amazing. Eighties, his titties goal his stomach flat every day. What does he do kind of exercise? I don't know. I can call him his name June bug June bug. Yeah. Not as real night. He that's his nickname nickname. He's just a gym. Attic fucking Jim at and he's beautiful. He told he's like, I'm gonna make this whole family lose weight. I said, not today bitch. Podcast. And mama at the gym. Oh, god. Funny of video of you at the gym would be just you complain and talking shit while someone gets you to work out, goddamn hilarious, Duma. We going to do a podcast, but he tried to kill me Joe. But if you just listen to him and did it and did a video, I guarantee that we get a shitload of us. Okay. We'll managing Duma. We gonna help actually I'm getting ready to move to LA for the pilot of my shell. You're gonna move here. I'm a movie or for a little bit for how long well we gonna shoot the pilot. So if the Polly picked up Hulu, so I be here doing this shoot. And then I'm gonna go back home. I can't take out. He's nice run around. Bring JIMBO out with me. Bring start to start filming video. You ought to seem like big titties like minds. They're dome. Beautiful a love it. Love stories like that. He just did it. I know it was he couldn't get laid. Well, that'll be a motivator. Yeah. I actually must be because he told me mom because I mean, I'm doing a little bit nap probably lost fifteen pounds. I've been dealing with JIMBO. He say, mama when you lose weight when you started whose way he just takes me when he said, do come on your period. What are you saying fucking mama? The route one he's conversations are having why you asking me because when I help you lose what you're gonna come back. I said, why fucking period is not on a doctor? I don't know. He just read out. Do I lost like toil pounds and my period? I know mom you stopped up from all the fat. Big crises miserable. London. Joe? But my cycle, what the fuck up here came the more, I work with the MO you're gonna flow. He's right. That's what's crazy. Yeah. A lot about fitness and health. He's I'm telling you joke. He's nineteen what is he doing? He works. He works at enterprise. He, he should get together with you fuck enterprise just together working out making YouTube videos, OB huge. Yes. Basically, if I can get into like him, he's like mom gonna get you in shape, and my daughter is on the plus size to he's like, I'm whipping all y'all s. All because he's just he just he just popped them to sickle being fat. That's awesome. He's that he was sickle being fan, my baby. If you go to my Instagram he's on. He's even he's to twenty now JIMBO stop. He's like, no. Wow. I mean, he got a chis- Joe stomach flat. He looks good and I asked him, I said, son, did you get bigger 'cause I remember small. Is better mom? It's. When you're get smaller. You'll start. Your naval become your dick when you real fat Joe. Oh my God. You should do the look I talked to into doing a podcast, I'm gonna talk you into doing this. You have to okay Jill. I know you're gonna see this book please you and your mom at the gym. It'll be gigantic. I'll help you I'll promote it. I'll put it up on Twitter and Instagram, please do this. So he go. Kill me. You gotta go in there with a depend on if he gets you in crazy shape. Imagine if you get to like bikini shape seriously. I ain't been like this is the third grade. I need us Akini shape. I'm telling you Joe Joe. He can do that, though. He does that. You don't know I have would be vodka. Gin look straight down and see shit a lot of times the food that you crave is the food that you eat. So if you eat food is not healthy for it. That's what you crave all the time, you stomach gets used to it that what they call your gut by your stomach bacteria wants sugar, bread and pasta. As soon as you start eating healthy food, your body starts craving healthy food, you bought him start. Craving Sal is and lean meat and chicken to he started. We don't drink water. But I do. Now he makes me drink. Well, he literally comedy, mom because I can do one leader day. I'm up to one lead. That's what you drink besides more. I'll drink coffee in the morning, and after that Nomo coffee I have to have one Cup coffees I, I do sugar and cream and I got folk Craig, maybe I need some. So I told him I can't give them a call for right now. So I drink coffee in the morning, and then I drink all day at work on a leader water, and he literally go through the house and tell us what we can came, which is we want to punch him in the face. But I am losing a few pounds with him like, you know, I got I got any back on, like grandma, and he was like, I'm gonna get all of that, for you, because he will hear fed owns two and big titties. I mean, he loves all of it, then I'm so you could do it too. Yeah. Because I was told him, I said, look, you nineteen insurance, the twenty six they will give you weight loss surgery. I don't want won't go get the weight loss surgery, not get your tickets taking off and your stomach took, he's like mom that don't sound like no manly thing. Hit it all planned out. I was going to get his telling me his titties could get him weight loss. My fat daughter, she fed, and I'm gonna get your Tommy, I'm gonna get your stomach could and the number by your as 'cause she had. No, as so. And then I told my husband, he don't have no as I was going hear my heirs chooses. Everybody asks is people getting cancer from that as they take the fat from, you know, take the fed, they're getting a lot of they get cancer from the implants. What titties ask implants Alang do? Do you know issue? But some people who get asked implants. They're starting to get cancer a real s implants are only a few years old. I you know what? I don't want to. I'm from the state of Atlanta. We was coming up. Joe? If you wanna titties, as it had this thing going around, and I did a podcast on said, we didn't people let you know what plastic surgery world. So the deal was you take that government Bader. And you rub it on your titties on your heirs. And they said it a make it grow. What? Yeah. I'm not lying. That's what we used to do back in the day. Look at Ming there. But look at me, don't think it's from the butter ever bad. I know robot, but on. You don't know that government. But let's see on the hot water. They sit together to kill everybody. Joe stores once. My name was like just put the button on your your heirs. We put the ball all on my mom. 'cause you say no, you bitches ain't got my bought on y'all. You know that shit got last me tornado day. She took this Jakarta. She hit us and that stuck in that border. She gave us one wooden. She's I spray by shit off. You bitches we're not scrape her all off. She put this year begging frigerator she'd beat the shit out of all my God. She scraped the butter of your tits and put it back in the fridge. We'll pull we could always on it. Good bottle. Joe? Larry. This year out almost playing her butter magic putter really did that all your to do to get big tits and big ass butter Titas is the fourth grade. So that's when I did it. Like like you just have good genetics. Now, Joe mama have not. Yeah. But sometimes it doesn't get your mom, and it goes to you. I'm trying to build. Don't do that education shit. Don't break it out away down for the late. Let them try to butter before they try to pause. Okay. So go out and get you some good old government butter, they won't mail and just said, on, like, like, like fucking a bird, trying to hatch your aid to sit art. Yeah. Boot in stuff, seed, are like. Hopefully it'll make your booties and TD's as it did work that work. There's a lot of questions on Yahoo people asking that does it make you. Bigger. And then I found product is on called, but butter. Cream for smoother fuller and firmer skin. I don't know if that's what I had. Natural but enhanced cream for women and men, plump booty enhancer lotion, but firming and tightening cream sexy, but was. Once. A sexy, but lift or cream button larger this horsh it most likely got four stars. Grenache from people that are assholes that worked for the company they're reviewing it. Three hundred sixty four custom reviews. Hold on click. Really? The good ones, adding to my flat booty, my family and. My family, I inherited flat butts syndrome. It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing have your butthurt because you have no padding when you sit and have no pants fall have your pants fall because there's nothing in the back to hold them up after week. I deaf noticed something extra in the back. I'll keep using. That's the people that you want to buy your but cream because they're morons. That's like people that give money to preachers that flying private jets. Yeah. I think that's crazy that don't work. But I I'm telling gunmen bought a work Joe, I'm telling you this, who would have known it works faster on your breasts that on your butt. But it's work more. This is not real. It is real looking ten forty eight. The. I Casey, she. Glasses so fun. Telling, but listen, these fucking the people that are right need reviews. Not only does it works. That's it works. Not only does it works. It increased my breast size. They probably should change the name to breasts and button handsome, butter. I know it for the but I know it for the but so I figured let me see will it do anything for my breasts in quotes all natural. So I did. So within a week. My breast was full our last time I seen them, this was right before it was time to breastfeed. My baby is now nine years old. So imagine what we was doing. Ghetto. I'm telling you at thick as does work. Watch people. Who knows what I'm talking about from the south say Joe, we did that. And it worked, I agree too. But we shoulda done on one did what does the see? No, joe. I wanted to be one way to find out. Onto you bounce it out level cheek right to I'm gonna find that, but, but it rub it on my crack baby one hundred teeters his day. Grow in just don't even tell them what you doing. Just put it on one titty. I okay I'm going to get her to do it. I don't think I feel appropriate how old is she? No. She's nine no, no. She's four. You can do it. You have a five contested already got a big as booty. Oh, yeah. Then but I'm going to get some of that if you work. My husband will kill me was, I don't know if it's true, but I don't think it is it doesn't make sense. But then again, I'm not scientist. I'm telling you, it's like that peanut butter that they used to send to the ghetto the choke negroes out. What did they do about it? The government us give black people. Peanut butter, choke him out the heading wanna talk about air peanut butter. You had a heated you wanna Mike, what you're heated on a stove, like you buy the cookies Trumbull eight for the thin now. So you sprayed it on the sandwich, really. Then they found out later only we're gonna kill it was like it was big as fuck. It came in a king. The government peanut butter googly. It was some dude on Instagram, who was in school. Some kid in school. And they were there. They, you know they feed him cheese sandwiches for lunch, and he was lighting the cheese sandwich. He was like, look at this cheese, look at the shit, and he's lighting lighter to would not melt. It was just turning black. It was just getting bland. Yeah. On the smoke from the lighter, it was not melting. Fuck kinda cheeses this. Yeah. It wasn't real cheese. There's this parts of America that the government Nores, right? Yeah. Me. You got through got through made it through the net. Yeah. They only come to you, when they when they need your vote. They only come to light black pastor. They like black past. You know that's why I don't go to church. I tell them all the time I tied at church's chicken. You get more for your money, churches chickens. Two dollars Tuesday, get you to chicken a biscuit. The Nida papa's alone on Tuesday and go to churches today, the spicing Janney. Yeah. That's the thing that I'm not I'm not even past my money. Good for you and ride not there. I mean they the Bob is free, then ever hotel deal about about hotel, like everybody else used to. I'm not going to get you that you are here buying jets and shit. And I'm struggling fucking, the holes in church Cheney sharing holding church Nomo. They're fucking those insurance. Oh, yeah. They beats up. I don't know. I don't know. I don't go to church with no underway on the past. No. Oh fuck the first lady, they don't care about. Hey goes where no underwear in church to lure the pastor really you at a the passes sexy is back in the day when you might not member, 'cause you white, Meghan. Data Pasa will ugly all the past ugly. TD jakes. They was on fuck -able, but now they all sexy many all sexy. Everybody will vote the seeks. That's what they said. They made when they made Catholic preachers become celebrate one of the reasons why the men become. So, because the Catholic preachers were banging all the ladies. Rockstars, because they were the ones who are the word of God. And this is before anyone could read the bible, because it was all in Latin. So they didn't know how to read Latin, so they relied on these priests, read it look Joe or sting. Yeah. He's fuck -able. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Do you think he gets them? Give him song. This. And not in Jesus. Sexy. Joel owning do white me. Our do Joel Osteen in the poor p-. Do you think he gets them? He got a wife, other than her. Hey, just one side. Hey. And I let him too. Yeah. You pay the Bill, he killed any aged at all. Four at a hell. He's six. He. Fifty I but he doesn't have a six pack right. And problems, his wife and up writing a corner go back fifty six good for fifty so why is that his wife she's hot? Yes. She hasn't planned. Let's say his wife Caparo. Yeah. He could take that Joel. Joe's good luck. God. Marina. Yeah. Date day of the new drug. The new pimps women pills had, hold on hold, and get their money church like that. Now, let's all it is he does it in Vegas at the same arena where the UFC plays. Thought he was in Dallas. It goes all over the place goes on the road. Sometimes they go on. These is in Houston. Dallas somewhere in Texas, Houston does that. But he also does like giant arenas on the road. Like he does he does the T mobile center, whether you have see place that. Place. Now, you can keep that how many of those bitches in the audience have no underworld pub sixty percent. Going to church when they started charging for meals, I'll jerk who am I gonna? Notice that I didn't know that they were banging churches mail the front row. Smoggy. Yeah. Appelation relation. Yes. They hey, that's how you have a baby by man like Joe pay jobs pope on time. Don't imagine if you, if you're the type of person that wants that much money. Right. You want that much money you want private jets big houses. Gonna want some extra pushing. He will get tired of paying the same plastic face white woman who could. Yeah, but he wants them. I like meet with the teacher. They move on inside move on. Yeah. You know, I got real tater so much go all over the place. Oh and hers her. Yeah. They just firm just one position ups. Great. That's where the people like that. They like him hard. I got him to you got to pick up and dull stone. Slop more. No does because everything on borough. Like how gross you out? You don't be all this issue. I'm telling you, sometimes the other podcasts, we've done, stop in the middle of the dangle. Fuck. Yes. Some of the well, mostly about the tragedies mostly about your childhood. It's funny. Now Joe it is that I took I you know, I say stay just say. When you when you when you can laugh at what you've been through, then you got control of it only reason why can laugh about being shot, and I my husband hate this bid I do. I do a bit about I guess, father giving me crabs gonna Rian fleet. Please. With no toys. Fucking fleas. I mean people get crabs. I get it. But when someone gives you fleas like what the fuck. But back in those days, the health department will come and pick you up and say, hey, you push the on five we need to put it out. Pick you up pick you up and. He'd be don't gave somebody else crap going to replace a report everybody. He was missing. We and I was always on list. Can you tell people I think is funny that they used to come get me in the health department man had a relationship, not we want sleeping together. Here's a you push. It was only list again. Can you tell people to Larry's have ST? But I was young, you know it was simple. She gonorrhea you're gonna shouting, and I remember they came one time Joe and they knocked doing all my God you here. I thought he was gonna let me brought up. He's like you put on this. Let me put it out. So my heading what he would say what he puts these on the list pretty much call it. You're pushing he's saying he puts a bit report. It. My kids father was down. Let's go together and get cured. He's on. I don't wanna go somebody might see me. So this is what he told me say, look, it was going to when you gonna ready to get a shot, you take pills for seven days. So he said, look, go to health department, but don't get the shot, get the peel. So we split them. So I'm so stupid. I come back split Sam pills. When we still both got having. Oh my God. -cation all the ways my God stupid. It's So Chris like. Well, you tell people hitting everybody always think he gave me gonna gun and shot me and beat me like you. Please people. I didn't do this to you. How does he deal with you having this act like when you go on stage and talk about all shit? How does he handle it? Does. He covers years, the I never he only see me once what he won't come. See me. Joe come on. He wouldn't he came to see me. We can't William accident when I was opening for cat Williams. And but that's the only time. But he's, he's got a no, no, funniest fuck. Like how does he not want to see that? He don't wanna see Joe comes to comedy store tonight because you're gonna be there for the ten thirty show. Yeah, I am. He's in these Napoli. He'll watch over and park as until my daughter. Oh, she was so fucking funny, but he's not going to directly say to me you so fucking funny. He's my biggest cheerleader. I mean support I mean, you know, I've been doing this seventeen years, you know, how many times I had to make that man credit card to go and do. So you know what he would not come see me. He's like I live with you. I hear this she ever. Well, he gives me like he's funny to me, like I told you say not today I wanna put today, not at all. He's as I'm gonna funniest sheep. But he's he's he can't leave. He's only do comedy once a wine time out of seventeen a good one, though to open for cat Williams. Are you still in touch with cat? No, but I love cat can't tell me shit about my daddy my daddy died. And I just got a job with cat Williams. He walked in, and he was, like, what are you doing? I said my daddy died like two days before he called me on a tour and trying to I'm just trying to get this money together raising care where you can go to the Bank with a stack of money. He gave me like four grand to bear, my dad, and I was like you don't have to do this. And I was like our work for. He's like, look. No go Beria daddy, because before he did that about put my fucking dating potato sack sticking in the ground because we on it, and I try to fish from the black community. I mean the white neighborhood they don't own about. No fucking fish frown on Tuesday and can't wouldn't give me the money to bury him. That's all. Yeah. So can't tell me shit about cat. We he's crazy. But he's funny as fuck. He's, he's one of my favorites all time he tells the fucking truth to if you go to go back. Like the pimp, chronicles prime that is those are some of the best specials ever. Yes. He's a funny motherfucker and he's so original so region. Like that is him. You know what I mean? Like his delivery, his style. Everything I love him. Can't tell me shit about. The cat William Moseley would finish my basement tour. He he gave me some not gave me but he gave some great advice once about comedy, one of the things he says, don't eat before you go on stage and those like, yeah. Why would you don't eat before he fight? Why you eat before you go on stage. Was it causes your body, your body when you eat has to break down that food? So it's, it's using energy like some of the energy that you'd have to do stand up is now breaking down that food in your body. That's why I'll be about to fall asleep and say, yes. Yes shit. I gotta stop eating just don't eat right before you go on stage she'd afterwards. Okay. Yeah. I mean listen to him, and I was like that makes so much sense. And also, he has a playlist of music that he plays right before he goes on stage like sets it up. He's like, put them in the mood to go onstage. Do that, too. I do too. I like a lot of. I want to say outcasts, but that ain't going for who the fuck fucking rabbi. Collie be oh, they're little nasty thing. That's what I would be if I had a body like that girl, got a tone that a drag afloat. See my person in my head, and I wanna be. I listen to a lot of Cardi B I like her, maybe you can get that body. Maybe maybe June bug. Jim get on that elliptical machine. Come on doom, but we're gonna need you to help you mom, stop you from peeing on sale. Just just change up the diet. I'm working, I sweat. Sneer son. I'm gonna look like you. If. That they go to harm. Different. Dr. I'm line. But if you, if you did that I'm telling you, if you did a video with your son, and your son, getting you to the gym and did that regularly on YouTube June bug and MS Pat just do that. It would be hilarious. It's so funny 'cause I 'cause I cook Mike is out, especially when they're making you do shit. You don't wanna do working out like doing sit ups and shit and squats sprayed my leg. Why did they never been used at away since the eighties? My but home. Exactly. Yeah. What we do it do it do it definitely do it. So, so you, do you bring bring like one of those MP3. bluetooth speaker things with me. You know, have like one of those JPL extremes. Bring them with me. And I put in the green room play music. Now usually listening going before performing. No, I listen to me. Yeah. But you get yourself in a mood do you, do you have a drink before you go stage? I don't drink alcohol at all. No. What about weed do? Anyway, drug nothing. I grew up in. Invite me as I just don't. I mean I echo does nothing for me. It makes me sleepy. And I my mom was neck hall, and I used to always say, I'm gonna be nothing like this bitch. So. Mission accomplished. Yeah. I don't I don't do my whole family drink. And I just don't do it. No, I don't. I don't smoke. We I don't you know, I was just telling them earlier, like JIMBO tried to smoke. Wait one time. And what is white friends, but they were so stupid Joe they didn't know how to roll the we. So they got the they got the, the copy of paper off the machine enrolled read. Oh, god. Yeah. And Tommy, leading it is Bert in out a week fill in his chest. And I beat the dog shit outta JIMBO, and I'll tell them. I don't buy groceries for you to create an appetite. You already fucking fat. Oh my God. And I just told my kids when I was young. I say, look, I told my son I kill I said, look, I get food stamps and I don't get enough food stamp for your weed habit. So we're not gonna do drugs. We're not gonna join gangs. We're not gonna do drill is awesome fucker. So we're not going to do so, but June bug is only kid, I've had that really tried to Deb into we, that's a weird when do it, though copy paper what they was terrible for. They will go to the ghetto in by the we out of where I live. They would go over to the ghetto. Joe McConnell, how much we about one point five grams? What the hell is that? I don't know. Call the police own. I. What are you, I call the police on the shaking mutt? Right. And the police. But I say, hey, we Blake's guns in the car. So come over here and shake my son, the police get over there. The police in June. Book son, go to school together this come on and start crying. We love you. I call you fucking crack. I was crying so that didn't help but eventually, I think gonna start smoking now. He's gonna stop or start. I think he stopped I ran off all his friends. I told her I said, look. Yup. Your white sun, just lost his only black friend. Fuck your white baby back here with the week. Do more everybody must say you're just a fuck them whiteboards as. 'cause I call a caught on. I caught on smoking weed it looking at some of the white girl pussy on the phone do what you NAMA standing there. But his wife puts it floating on the phone like a girl from the school. Yeah, trouble for that. So I put the put up a crown cast the pitcher who white puts his own you put it on the TV. Pissed off at me. Look, kidney bitches away from June bug Jomaa, Tim Grady. Look dick is real real small written. Trying to kill them. Trying to get my baby locked up white pussy foot, white puts Dicky got enough sense. God, so. So you had the parents come over television. What the fuck today say? I believe you did this. But the fuck you made it was on the phone. Just looking at it too. They. They wouldn't speak to me at no, no county, no frames. Don't you ever in your life violate? No. She gave to one of the football. He just pass it around. Yeah. June bugs think about you're supposed to Gary on. He's like mom gear on and get naked. They can see nothing. Yep. The stuff I went through he's the only one ever really tried me. Because my other kids, I tell, like I tell my Craig may say, I'm gonna take you out in public, but you gotta option. Do you wanna get on mom? Do you want to soccer mom, and they don't like the ghetto mom because ghetto mom would knock the shit out of them in public, and I give option and we get in public in white people. Always come to me like, oh, my God. Your kids are so well disciplined. I said, I told him I was gonna fuck him up. They just look like what I think you should forget keys up to. Tell him I say, I will you up. Don't play with me, the F H in when we was coming back from the Disney cruise, they all plan with those things that separate, you know when you lie. So I told them like three full-time stop the grandbaby, and it was the full crack baby. So they wouldn't stop. Joe, I slept all at the same time pep I've ever. What, what the fuck what you looking at me for you also to stop by four time. Don't play with me. You know manure as bad. I've been shot a couple times, Noam crazy. And I just tell them that they good kids, the good kids now. Oh, they know out fucking. I have a lot of bits of them because, like just like I do this bit about used to do the bit about the teacher school, calling me all the time, white schools, call you for anything. Anything joe? I mean, just dumb shit black skin. We look that's your child at two thirty. Don't you wake me up? So one of the. Wanted to tear they call me by my knees, your London, because she was sitting decree on table. Hello, white friends, and they're talking about their daddies. So you'll understand what an ex time I see. My dad I'm gonna stab him in neck and all the white kids started crying. And they asked me to come up there and emergency come up there to talk to get them like, ma'am. She stab that Nick donegan jail. Somebody else, go stab him in knee. Don't wake me up with no wait meal for this bullshit, though, they don't have anything. I had to sit in the school down. I said, look, these kids from the hood, they only talk and do what they know you gotta give me time to help them grow. But then they wanted to put him on medication. I said, what we. Yeah. Because they didn't want to deal with this so so much, like mom was into hornet that drove the data will be known a mom, and they, they didn't know how to handle them. I say, look, we go help them grow together, as what we not gonna do. We're not gonna put these kids on Medicare what we gotta do is surrounded with love they so good. Now out of five year this baby just now, passing the ice step test. They took a minute to get there. But he's finally there. What's the asset? Those pub, those standardized tests. They give kids and the kids just wasn't ready, not his neighborhood Tumen environment that they wasn't used to. And then, you know they talked they did you see our country. I am when eight talk straight streets. Sometimes what the fuck y'all talking about. We bowed about another fuck you and get brush, across Shohei. Baudi baudi. Yeah. They, they ready to rumble they ready to fight the Lombardo. I'm bout about. I said, put your fucking fingernail for break, but I had to retrain him because he saw in. It wasn't going at my nice little white skin, right? No. What would I good? Now they're getting all the kids that don't and you can imagine because it was you. But all the kids who don't have someone like you. My niece is twenty years old twenty one she six kids, and she in jail for twenty years for knocking people, Robin. So her keys is in a situation. So just magin all the keys, I think about it all the time, especially, when it's my family member. But Joe I had to realize this I can't say or can't save everybody possible. I try to say one other time, and that's all I can do. That's all you can do that is all you can do. I can't say the world. I mean I can't live if I keep trying to say the world known, well, you won't be able to do what you're doing helping people to one of the things you're doing help me make people laugh. Yeah. That, that helps a lot. Yeah. Fuck in need that they need it so bad, so many people right now with the headphones on in their cubicle laugh, in the ass off right now hope so they need it. Pet down Joe Royle for sure. They're going to subscribe, guaranteed. I hope so hundred percent. I mean I was dealer show last night at the verger here in LA and a man came to meet the man, my daughter died today, and I've been crying all day, but I wanna tell you how much you helped me fucking relieve. I well I'm sorry about your dog. Did you burn them up? He actually started laughing, you know, after they died, you gotta Bardawil cremate, cremate them. Yeah. We actually started. But I mean I get that all the time. And, you know, laughter is what he'll me when I was able when I was able to write my book, and, you know, started doing comedy, especially like it was one story now about my mama boyfriend, who molest me, and I never told this story over thirty something years. My husband, no only person knows me and my sister, 'cause all we happened to us at the same time, we're him and never told this store, and I remember when I was writing my book, the lady who co wrote my book, she was, like, you gotta tell the store and I said, well, I gotta ask my sister, and I get my on a phone Joe and I was like may pop that was on a name. I say you ready a detail with MISA John. And we both just boo whom I, we told some of the store we got up the phone, and it took for me to tell a story took almost wheat me in the writer cry so much because I had I had all of that built up in me, but I'm so happy, I was able to tell that story now because that was the only store I had never told public about how my mama boyfriend did me and my sister from the age of probably six or eight towers eleven years, because I started my kid's father was twenty one and I was twelve when I made so I started having six at twelve so when he started touching me Mike when I got a boyfriend my momma, my momma boyfriend enough us, alone months, you got a boyfriend once I got a boy for Christ. So that was the only store had never told. But when I told I felt like I lost twenty probably hundred pounds I felt like it, but it didn't go anywhere. But I just felt a relief. Yeah. So I know left. I just know left the does a lot for me. So I know it does the same. For the people dam, you crazy. Fucking. And I laugh at every until two. Well, it's that's the only way you can. I mean, what you've done is, you've done alternate take a negative turn into a positive after. I try really hard. But you mean you really have because your your sense of humor, so fucked up. Because of your life that it's so funny. I mean that's why it works. If you had a cushy life, and you were saying the shit that you say it wouldn't be funny, so it wouldn't be. No. And that's one of the things with my husband like when I was share with, like, by K father shot me and beat me, almost listeners kinda know who I am. They know my background. And one of the things when I started share my life. My husband had that protected mo-, he didn't want me to, you know, he knew how negative the world could be when I started to share these stories so I could see what he wanted to step in and protect me. Right. You know, when people would judge me, you know, like I dropped out of school in eighth grade when my husband went to the military went on he had a mom and daddy away, better life than me. So he would always be there to like beat at protector, like, well, oh, they think I'm stupid or they think I'm nearing and I just I just he helped me grew a backbone to say. Fuck with people think about, you mean because it was so much screwed up stuffing, my like one of the theme. Mamma taught me about white people. Like I didn't deal white people. I mean let's honest, I'm from the police of the fucking of the caseworker. My mama told me she said, why people better than you never look them in high near the fucking devil. So my whole life, Joe Rogan. I was skill white people. And when I when I wrote the book, and I told the lady this when I was see why people immediately look down. What else was the slaves used to do? And that's what the book lady told me. And I was like, I can't look them in, and then she was like, why not told her to store, and I told my husband stories, he say, pet, he say, we're all the same your fucking mama stupid. I used to sell a bit. I said, only between me you white woman is my Titas is bigger than yours. But I was in, I was in my late twenties, when I learned it because you like when I moved to Indianapolis, I can talk to you fucking my was stump. And I we mealy say I'm stupid and I will look away. And when I started doing coming in Indianapolis and my fan base term white, and I was like, what a fuck out light me get away from me. I said to myself, and my husband sent me down. It was like pet. We all the same your fucking mommy's. Stupid. I'm like, we are. And I was in my late twin by never ever will white people like I dealt with when I moved into that community, and I'm glad because it taught me a lot as a young girl out of it out of the inner city of Atlanta that we all the same the problem the problem with this country. We don't fuck in talk. We know communication where does that. And then there's the, these communities, stay the way they are, like, whether it's Baltimore where they had it set up or black people literally wearing allowed to buy homes outside of certain areas or any inner city like you know, in inner city in Houston, or New York, or anywhere where the neighborhood stay the same. Yeah, stay the same generation generation crime poverty drugs. Everything stays the same. You tell my kids, my kids fucking they blessings and they don't realize they are. And sometimes, I get so pissed off at them like they go to this really nice high school where I live in Indiana, they little laptops and you know they get new books every fucking year. Joe when I went to school, it was so many niggles name rolling that same book where it hit unchecked, it out every year you at the flipper page and you just see Ramone, Tyrone three pages of kids who had that book. It pisses me off, because, you know, I look at it and I was like, well, this is the old curriculum where these my kids are getting a new curriculum every year. And it's still like that in certain parts of America. And it pisses me like, yeah, you guys realize how bless you? You come into a fucking this fucking thousand dollar, pay on the Florida school, and gave you take shift grant, like my daughter will literally hold up the school bus because she wanted to walk slow because she was fat. So the lady called me was, like MS pet everyday I gotta wait on Gary on to get on a bus. And I've extra several time to be at the bus that when I get there, and I said, ma'am lead at bitch. Lever. You lead at motherfucker she'll get there on time. But you know you they pamper 'em in my neighbourhood. I said, don't you dare pamper my black? He lied at bits because I'll leave you ain't you ain't in. Get in the car bitch back. Bad my kid. No, you better get in cuff Obama. 'cause you lay your fuck you. I mean, my daughter will come in house. One time I need you to take me to Starbucks. I'm like, what cool kids come to school, Starbucks? I said bitch better go to better as the night. That's Ukraine's, if you get up at six o'clock in the morning, take your starbuck, you better, take fed, as Starbucks night and get your Cup and put some hot chocolate in the morning. I'm not going. I'm not getting up at no six o'clock to make you cool, but they do that status thing. Here's a standard thing come. Bring me my lunch I left my I tell my kids if you leave some you didn't fucking warning 'cause I'm in the bed with no wig, and no bra. And yesterday puts it I'm not giving up. Yesterday's post. How's that work? I wouldn't admit last night. They watched it before they call so yesterday pussies. I'm not getting up you crazy. I'm not nobody. Nobody gave me nuts. They understand that. No one gave you anything to get it day. Get it yet. Get it. But they never. I don't wanna hear yo poor stories true. This does not true days. My, my here, thank you. My cable got cut off one day. Right. So I'll go it in house, on my cable cut Tim us. I like did you pay the fucking Kaby? My all my, I've got to pay the Cape go turn to Cabo before the kids get on, like fuck these keys. You know how many time I had to look at a TV and thought it was snowing. I'm not I'm not going. I'm going to be the keys. I don't care about the keys, but he broke his neck to pay the cable because he don't want the kids Evernote is like, they're not have light gas. And what did they, they miss a couple of meal? Joe? I didn't cut that cable back on. But he it. He came home and cut it on out. I don't I don't go out the way. I love you. But I tell you, I don't love you like Jesus. Do he love you unconditionally? I was stabbed shit out. I lost my kids money. You gotta pay me bay. My daughter comes, you say cannot bar three thousand dollars a bit. You got wrong number three thousand yet about her call, I'll get into that. She got my call Joma Cup paid off. I drive a little old last crew that McCray. Mcrae kidneys, left about for her. That's what I drive every must pay it out. I'm not buying. You know, will bitch us on the phone threes, never pay phone. So how you gonna play three thousand dollars pushy said that act you back. You. This is my money. I worked up this money. I know you was there when I was selling crack and for the check, but you had jaws nice year. I don't know that your life was hard. But if you live it over again. What I mean? It made you who you are. May change. Yeah. That's what I was gonna ask you fucked up thing to ask someone when they tell you them molested, but your mom's boyfriend and that, you know, you had a baby with this guy when you were fourteen, and he's married. Another one. And by the time you're sixteen. You're pregnant with third. Yeah. No, no. Right. Selling crack and shot in the Tet, no one would ever ask you to live that life again. But you, you wouldn't change it. I don't know Joe. I mean it made me who I am. I always look at life like this. I think you know, everybody coulda dealt with the stuff that I dealt with, like I dealt with it like some people commit suicide complete when people always depressed, you know, I kind of feel like I was chosen one God, take you through something. So it can, you know, to make other people see maybe I was put maybe I took burden that everybody else was going through in life and I was chosen one, then I bring it out and make it funny. So I'm here to make people let let people know. It's okay. It's okay, it's not about how you start about how you finish. I don't dwell shit. Don't have control over. I can't change the pays. But let's laugh today. And I tell people every night on stage when you can laugh about it. You got control of it. That's a powerful thing to be able to look at your life like that. And just take on ship. Yeah. You know like my first kid for the hates me. He fucking. Hayes me, you know why? Because I'm not that little girl rabbit anymore that he had control of that. He. Be any, you know, I was little girl searching for love in his whole situation. I learned love myself Joe touch with him. Yeah. Talk to him because of me out as not in jail. Yeah. That's what I be telling. Like trauma, Lester channel, I'm not a I remember when I needed closure, and I was, I was out here in LA, and I'm starting to tell these stories about my life, and I just wanted him to apologize for doing shot in the back of the head fucking beat me. So I wanted to apologize my house. Like why do you need him to apologize? I just wanna he as wanna take rabbit. I'm sorry. So I call him up. And I said there we started. Oh shit. I said his name. So I call him and. Apologize and say how can you fuck a twelve year old and you grown you mayor. You know what he said? He's a your mind and body wasn't toil. And she kicked me in my fucking chest like a horse, and I blew who and Dan day, Joe, I decided, I was no long ago. XM to ask from to, you know, to ask me to forgive him. I decided to forgive him. I forgave my mama. I forgave my momma boyfriend and everybody else that stepped on me. And I said, no longer I'm ever going to want to come company a note. I say from that day on, I'm never gonna X, y'all forget, I'm never gonna ask you again. I'm I decided to forgive you, and I've delegate him my mom and her boyfriend and everybody else that ever violated because it was so many other people that I don't still don't talk about, but I forgave him a very powerful thing. And I'm happy, the thing if you could forgive people who've done, terrible things you haven't done shit to them. Yeah. The people that want. Them to apologize chase them. Get back. The you're eating yourself up, you eating yourself now was eating myself because I just wanted to say, I'm sorry, any never said it told you that when you were twelve your mind your body weren't young. You gotta realize you're talking to fucking idiot idiot, and I call my husband and I was crying. He's like, why you keep just want him to ask me to I just wanted to say he sorry. That's all I want him to say. And he's like why? And I remember hanging up the phone and I got on my knees and I rarely get on my knees job and I got vertigo, so I don't get. You know what I'm talking about. So I just figured, I mean, I forgave him they forgave him and my momma because of him my mom in her boyfriend. John is three of the people that I hated the most because she didn't protect me. And when we wanna try to tell her, that her boyfriend was doing it to us, you know, he wouldn't listen, she wouldn't listen. Because this man was provided it was only time in my life that we didn't get evicted, because he was touching me. And my sister was always say, well, if you tell your mama, y'all get pulled out yelling hell no food. So we always thought we was happened. We always thought it was happened. So you know what? I forgave him. They was day was already dead. But he's still alive. He's still my kid's father still alive. And you wanna know something crazy? I never told anybody this. So people like why you don't go to your mama gravesite a lot of people like I don't like fucking with the day, and I figured they wanna raise leaving the fuck alone. They don't wanna hear about it love lively sheet. I don't go to her grave y'all because that motherfucker put yourself next to her. He bared his next to my mama. So I say fuck both of you. I'm not going up there. He's laying rednecks tool. Wow, last time I was there before he died. I was there cleaning off some ants on top grade. And, you know, I'm young, I'm probably she died. When I was six ten dollars sixteen seventeen I go, I guess, can't pull it on top of light. It on fire to get the bid on sitting from. I'd say the ants. Fire? Jesus fucking. Oh my God. I haven't been back. Joe? I'll need to go back. I'll go back next tool. So he he wanted that controls. All he got it fuck. I'm never going back. God, damn Pat, every every time I talked to you. I think I've heard it all. Oh shit, Joe. We need. Give me some allegory why. And I can tell you a hundred never fuck star. One olive going. Yes, I love that. She class today and I tell you a million. I was telling the story I just started writing a bit about how mommy's was a crap shooter and propose. She shoot a dice. She would lot of five kids, and she were rubbing Manama Jonah upon teeters that was good. Look for her. Should rub the dice on your vagina. Puts it for good luck. View. Oh my God. I don't want to tell I'll start because I just wrote a. Fucking hilarious. You're not gonna do it tonight. Now, I'm not gonna do not outweigh down. But when I my first pet, you gotta be like I said, I call my brother. I said, say that's my oldest brother Barish. Right. We say mom say we got saying, but didn't got good health. So we. We know that's then Jerry. So as you know, do you remember, the mom used to shoot Deitz she's? Yeah. She's Rama my mother fucking nuts. My goal shit when black folk rain. Can't breeze. Up to. Cryan agrees. Oh shit. Tammuz pat. Still ahead. Fucking love it. I know you, do you make people laugh you wanna find people met. Thank you. Joe to fact. Fuck. Life. You had God damnit so hard to listen to a person who has kids. You know, it's so hard to think about you being a little girl having to go through that, you know, it used people say, oh, you should get counseling. But honestly comedy has been my counseling. It is a form of counselling, for sure. I was able to share with sheet that I had I was angry about I'm no longer angry making people laugh look fucking crying. I'm literally crying. Yeah. See. Then you meet so many people who have a story, like people pet, you tell him, I store. Thank you so much out of black Tim one time. She's like I had my baby thirteen. How can you talk about that? I said bitch, I'm happy. And my child didn't have the life that I had. So I'm happy. You know, I only thing I actually my keys, I actually college for everybody. So I'm not gonna force college on you. But what you do is a high school diploma. And you do me the prom because I didn't have an opportunity to do nomination. So all of them go to the alum went to the prompt. I pick that outfit and everyone of them graduated from high school. You know, out my daughter was the first one in three generation the graduated high school in the first one of go to college. Then she didn't finish what my my, my youngest daughter just finished criminal Justice she ever social degree, and, you know, every time they do it, I'm going to the prom for you. They graduated high school they gave me house. Good point my daughter. Well, I just graduated from college Higl your degree. I was like, did you. Cloudy or whatever fucking straight as. Commodity. A lot. She didn't. She didn't go to a graduation. She's she. She didn't wanna go to graduate. So she book that she had to Upjohn's. So she booked on day, I was outta town, but she, she's my first child graduated college, and I look back here on eighth grade education GD, and I was able to keep my kids from going down the road that I went down. And, you know, most most most kids try to make their pants proud. I try to make my kids proud to let them know it's not about how you start as about how you finish. You know, I had I had to meet to my oldest daughter, I said, jobs front, ho school. And I know I had the waker on time, and I said, I want to apologize for being such a horrible mom in the beginning, but I was fucking fourteen you know, she was in housing what a his shoot. She saw me drugs in front of her school. I said, I made a lot of fucking mistakes. But I'm sorry, because I did what everybody else was doing in my commute. Trying to survive. And that was one of the hardest thing as a pair, because a lot of payers, high, you know, their past when they kid, but I literally went to my daughter, and I, you know, 'cause she hated me Joe she fucking hated me. She's like why do you have to sell drills in front of my school because I was here. I bitch. You know, I think you know, we, we have a relationship now and then I went off to jail, and Mr. going. To kindergarten name, I grew up in a community where he was gay. Something was wrong with you. You know my daughter. She gets fuck. She eat everything and allow. She pacman with the push it. So I had to deal with that too, because she ran off for a while. When she when she wouldn't, you know, when I, she didn't wanna tell me she was gay, 'cause, I mean, I had this thing, where, if you gave some Roach, fucking hated gay women, and I say, this on stage when I say, white, man, when you when you when you hate niggers as a good chance, you're white daughter gonna come home with a big dig nickel. It will open your my daughter came home, and she was gay and it opened my fucking world to the gay community. And now like, I remember my daughter came out of some like you must be ashamed daughters guests on your daughter's a whole. So you're gonna take way more than my daughter do. Okay. In a made. I love my daughter. I love all of my kids in tow. Actually, that's a name. I say it's not about I had to learn, it's not about your sexuality, do what make you happy? And I was a port you to the end as low as you happy because you saw your data stump my face shoot me and mistreatment. So if what do what makes you happy? Just don't do drugs bitch. But do what make you happy? What, what made you not like gay women before that? 'cause I was raised on black community. If he was gay, you know, we're the big motherfucker black people who would throw a gay child. I'll tell you some wrong, which we talked to hate you know, especially that old school black community. That's why so you know, people you know. I don't know Jodi how we was raised the black church trillion in your head of you. You go to hell. And you know what happens with gay people in the black community. A lot of them leave and never come back back in the day. A lot of weight say, you know, they fucking mental problems. I don't know. Like I didn't I don't remember gay uncle anybody. So, but, you know, I know we the black community you have to hide you had to hide making those days. So I was told if he was gay it would you if some wrong with you? And when my daughter came out to be gay it opened my fucking world up and I was like, do I judge my daughter over six wealthy? Do I love my child, because it's my fucking child. And I remember not saying her for three years, she just running dropped out of college. She just go from state to state them. Their home is a lot on be homeless. And I said, look, actually, I said, are you gay? I just want. We're here for myself. She was like, yes, ma'am, as will come on home to eat pushing the land is cheap. Am I came home? And we built a relationship that I you know, I was wrong out because she her talked about gay people, and how is almost like when you hear your book, if you if you want to hear your negative thinking then you want wanna know why Nikki get carries and you go outside and they want you think it is. So when she came out, and, you know, she when she came out opened my rural, and I'm happy, I'm happy for my baby, and I'll tell you about my daughter will eat shit out. She would dick you down. What? But she happy Joe. And this, what is all about. You know, all you can ask this lock in ally accident. She get a treat a right that she's a whole rent now. But, you know, new girl, ever six what is new girl? She got she'd been sticking with for a long. Well, I like the last girlfriend, we saw Bigfoot but she got rid of big Rudge. Rudge cupboard for if she was born, she'll play professional basketball. Big old beat. Lebron James, but I liked her alive. New girlfriend. She growing on me, so but it's all about being happy is all about being happy. You you've you've done an amazing thing with your life. Thank you took a terrible beginning and turned it into an amazing present. You know, one of the funniest people, I swear to God, you wanna funniest people have ever met your a like a big time, professional comedian people. Love you. I mean, I think what you've done is amazing to come where you started from and to be, who you are now it's, it's amazing. Thank you me. And I tell people, I'm a convicted felon those I can do either you laugh. I rob you tonight. But your crate habit. It's not just that you had a hard life, you had a hard life, and you worked hard to come a great comic well of hot life, and I wanted to say my keys in the beginning. I just didn't want my kids to go through what I went through. So that was the biggest files like y'all ain't sticking out in my baby. Asshole there. I'm sorry, y'all. Don't do that to my children, but you're not going to jail. You're not gonna drop out. You know, I just I just wanted my kids to have that I never had, which was a life, you know, any then, you know, one thing, my book is about I was searching for something. I wanted a family. I never had a family. I never felt love like I failed today. You know, I got a family, I go home to a husband that see me two times a week, but he's still fucking love me even though he say, not at all. He's being funny. Yeah, he'd being funny but I know him love Georgia, a normal, not never had that as a child. I, I plan vacation hall. We gotta do fuck air. We gotta do you want to know what it is to be without FM fucking when we go on, which we don't we don't wanna hit horror stories. Disney crew. They was all pissed out but they had a fucking ball. It was twenty two of us when we was there as a family, and that's all I don't care to go when I go take him to the Lakers, take him. I don't care to participate as wanna know I just look at him and say, oh, my God. Again, what I fought for my whole fucking like a family to be loved. And I'm love Joan as beautiful, then as I ever wanted byu fuck about fancy call, I care about a nice weeks. But. Listen. You June bug. You're gonna start this YouTube series to work out together. And then the Pat down is available on, I tunes available everywhere. Your book is still at the door really? Well, rabbit rabbit right nominated for end up Lacey PM jewel, and we're working tonight tonight, the comedy store. Thank you. Thank you. God, damn was funny. Thank you, everyone for tune into the show. And thank you to our sponsors. Thank you to simply safe. Ladies and motherfucking. Gentlemen, you need home security, and SimpliSafe dot com slash Rogan is the best way to get it. Prices are fair and honest, and around the clock monitoring is just fifteen dollars a month. And you can get free shipping and a sixty day risk free trial when you go to SimpliSafe dot com slash Rogan. You got nothing to lose. You FOX go. Now, be sure you go to SimpliSafe as I am. P. L. I S, A, F E, SimpliSafe dot com slash Rogan. So they know that I sent you that SimpliSafe dot com slash Rogan. We are also brought to you by the mother fuck, and cash, oh, the number one finance app in the app store, Yomi fucking finance apps. There are we'll tell you which one is number one bitch. It's the cash it's out of control and they're beautiful people. They're, they're not just making money with this. They're spreading it in an amazing way. Because every time you download the cash app and enter the referral code Joe Rogan five dollars go to support our good friend, Justin. Wren's fight for the forgotten charity, which is building wells for the pygmies in the Congo. They've already built several wells. They're in the process of building. More that bringing fresh clean water to thousands of people. It is truly amazing. And when you use the referral code Joe Rogan you also get five bucks. So it's a win win. So go to the app store Google play market. Download the motherfucking cash wrap and enter the referral code Joe Rogan all one word for that amazing thing that will happen. Five bucks goes to you and five bucks goes to Justin Rennes fight for the forgotten charity, and last, but not least we're brought to you by squarespace. The host of Joe Rogan dot com. That is where my website was created and it's where it is right now square spaces shit. It's, it's just you don't have to hire someone doing anymore. You can really do it yourself and let you try it for free because they're so confident that they have a folk. Amazing program, go to squarespace dot com slash Joe for a free trial. Then when you are ready to launch us, the offer Kodjo save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain, my friends much love to you all. Thank you. Tune in. Bye. Bye.

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Episode 25: Tropicainical

The Patdown with Ms. Pat

48:13 min | 1 year ago

Episode 25: Tropicainical

"Hey you love music but have a hard time keeping up with the Tampa we gotta show all about news so join me Joan Array army and me cash heart slow weekly feature. You'll mahomes nailed it. As we discussed the current events in the world of music with our guests cross the plus minute music from Listen Bins Kim get pretty heated first of all fucking or we always guarantee sounds while you're asking check us out wherever you listen to podcasts and if you want your music featured on this show emails Jona radio are a wide. Do at G. L. DOT COM Hey It's white boy Chris this. If pat-downs ever made you laugh join our patriotic and support US get bonus content a t shirt or an autograph copy of Rabbit Miss Pats Autobiography Visit Miss Pat Comedy Dot convert the link to the Patriot and while you're there join our facebook group welcome back to the PAT down. I'm here with my good friend crease. Hello Good Friend D- what up y'all we're here today. Where are we talking about? Oh God what section eight housing talking about being on welfare section eight high got off the program because a night and they took to shoot from Judge Joe Brown Judge Joe Brown and just growing up in America. Hey and I saw vitual five bucket. Quick Tropical and Tropical. Just wait the out here series troppled Cannell always used yes and I started to hate. y'All stay tuned. We'll be better into the real facts to put that play that same nice pass policies on real exciting time on the way it turned out it could not look everything no fun. We'll take on your desktop computer the pat down. I'm here by good free today. I didn't realize it what three good friends sit joe as down is in the building. Y'All what else did you ask them. Why are you standing up? Was it joe as the poor girl that she was in the corner for forty five minutes and then you look at her you go. Do you like that podcast. You know they need so you may have stayed there the and and if you've got some welcome back to another episode. I'm Chris Theon deal and I'm sorry. Are you know I have to raise these keys in the middle of doing this shit. I'm somebody Mama. I didn't even WANNA be my mother dropped Niki at my house in Game Two action have no. She's choking on orange. Yeah you guys doing okay. They like you know. We're here to be quiet. This is my fault. I'm sorry I always blaming the white blame. I'm sorry yeah I assume you have no keys. I should be somewhere living best light with as you know back you do. I can't give him back. I fucking love kids. You hear that out no conversation she he loves you guys and the rule in my house. Don't talk to each other unless you pay bills and I'm not I'm not gonNA like being born in jail right honestly mockus paths and notes they talk be quiet on grandma grandma doing a podcast and he can be done. I want to talk about today because we're having this conversation with my husband right as I'm having this conversation with my husband I'm Elaine Elaine lower on a property in Orlando and one that comes as we were talking about is being on government assistance pay you shouldn't talk about it and I'm my wife. He's a booze. I'm like no. I used to be on section eight. I used to be on welfare. I used to be on food stamps and Medicaid. I am my frustration. It is a people standing on the system too long I I think I truly truly believe that. These systems are here to help. You would not caring you right so fuck. Are you talking about Pam so I say I say nobody should be able to be on section eight for thirty fucking years sections. They help you with Iran right. Aren't you being a little boost. I say unless you especially keys or you specially elderly motherfucker like me you deal. Nobody should be helping us what I'll ring and if it is for should be for term limits and on top of that a lot of times when you rent your property out to section Khanate a lot of these motherfuckers know how to act they tear your fucking property up and the government do absolutely nothing they beg you to get on the he program but they don't they don't protect landlord and I and now they have a program in place. I ran into six. I was on section eight. When I was on section eight? I six fucking keys and a five bedroom house. My rent was nothing but yeah so zero literally zero. What's was hold on a second yeah coming from liberal go downstairs and liberal scattered? They scattered like what else Dan some liberal. I'm sorry I'm not being loaded keys issues. They were like ground railroad. We talked we talked about in the giftedness of black Catholic. That's why from the funny black mothers so I used to be so my rent was literally zero I have I used to six keys. Which Forum was my sister's in two of them was minds so I mean I was on where foul latest watching TV one trying to work on them until the Bill Clinton change everything but I never talk the tenant that that'd be the unit that lifted our took care of this house right so when I bought the house which still to this day I wanted to give back and when I wanted to give back I said I'm going to read this House on to section eight? You know so somebody camera better place to live well. I read a mouse and get obese told my the house of the bitch stole a plumbing where you essentially subleasing it so you get the section eight but then you're letting them live so or landlord I read the House so sexual okay again the government as the rim okay well. This girl taught my house show literally told my fucking house up my insurance company pay me eighteen eighteen thousand dollars in damn she she had uncles come in and take the copper out of the walls of an older house remodeled in tow it up and they gave me absolutely nothing was pissing me off now being somebody who's previews on a program who wanted to give back. I personally think that nobody owes you shouldn't contrary you. Nobody should pay your rent for thirty years. It should be a time limit owning you should have ten years at the most to be on section eight so here in Indiana we used to we still have township trustees but like we had very hyper local charitable organizations in the beginning of the state and so if you can go to the township trustee and you can say you know. I've got to pay for school clothing. I can't make this month or I can't pay my light bill or I can't do this and so they'll float you for a couple of months. They'll pay the bill or the help rant or they'll get you caught up but out of nine hundred applications as one trustee only granted two hundred because you'd walk in and say well totally look look out yeah I mean it's so it's it's section eight well but I'm saying that system system of government assistance is sort of like what you're talking a little bit about no arose we have that too. They do that in Atlanta okay and it's happening online and they do that with our with the amount of money people pay rent utilities bill. That's more like energy. Assistance Reynolds Sister Section eight is something that you can have and you can actually pass pass it down after you die in some states really Atlanta if you die from not mistaken if somebody dies and they're on section eight the next kid in liking it is almost like a a shake sure so many awesome money it makes sense of your mom's like on drugs and she's he's the only person like their kids need. A place to Mama can be eighty and you could be forty. She died section. I think I think I'm not for sure but my whole thing is what I wanNA do. A park has become owners own has become. I'm a landlord. This lady taught my house over eighteen thousand mile and the government in lady that you don't Judge Joe Brown for Oh. That was another beach. She wants to action. Yeah Judge Joe Brown. You Ain't seen Avezzano I was I will show you how you youtube. You know. I've been looking for that episode. I was so she taught my house but okay this one to my house before. No that will talk my house. I let me back before I get to the section eight lady so I ran into this latest says he brought up judge O'Brien. I got a whole different thing so she stayed in my house. A year. I'm reading and I got a pretty nice house in Atlanta four bedroom about thirty five hundred square feet and moved out toward my door Hassan Stab madore would fucking accent and I said look just come you know hello trying to be nice to just common by me to more Dole's and clean how sal and I give you a deposit well. She wanted to be stupid she. She told she'd fucking trashed my house. Let my Dole's Tobe fucked up McCarthy every day at the Dow scratch them with Flo so I told us look twenty years ago Bitch Outta Whoop Joe as I'm too old. I'm going to get you like the White Peop- I'm Osuna fuck out. I'm seriously I have a judge Joe but I gotTa Judge Joe Brown. I opened fobel because she ran on literally fucking flip the pages. She worked for transportation on the land. I call every department said Hey do. Do you notice betray hill because she told my house she didn't pay my guys and ladies like Ma'am. Does the maintenance department. Some of you see that bitch you got aw so long story short found out got lawyer department and you know black folks don't like black folks fucking go at each. Oh I've got this black Christly Christly Godel black people to sue Bragg peak most this is what she said and I said well. Let me tell you this bitch. Don't know wipe out a black base to my house so I thank God want me to suit his black. I want my money to be talking. Houses ran out of money reminding no matter run off with her money but me she ended up Collins. She's there. I don't know who it is crazy bitchy. She was a manager to monitor. She say aw this bitch is going to sue you. You need to fuck you make out arrangement I made out of range me right and she said well. I said I WANNA fuck twenty five hundred papers and everything I found a paper that sudas Sudanese bitch right so mega long story short two weeks so we set it up cheated on me. She did get torn two weeks later Joe Brown cow now. I'm like really WanNa go not just tell us what have I said. Well the BIZ trestman housing if Audi fucking bubis picking up. I didn't even know the bees. Kane asked to be down to be pootie beads. Oh caused them. Booty beats for for those of you. Who Know what that meant like? You know maybe no beads are sex toys. I thought maybe that baby puts and no no would. Would it be import him out there. When I closed on they were kinda dirty? I'm like Oh bitch. I'm making around Ma'am. You know maybe picking up the fucking BS. I was pissed was just as fun. Take this Pat Breeze Judge Joe Brown to say booty judge around side so there were Buddha beads and no. I know what I'm doing tonight yeah so that's all I said Ma'am. I really don't WanNa go. She's like Oh my God you just finding. What do you do for a living so you put all of that paperwork? When you sue somebody I'm GonNa meet since do you think we we can fire her as I don't know but the number on my pay work so they call her so she's got him? I WANNA go to court. I said you really want to go to court me on national TV. Yeah I want to ask thank you so much money back from your way also come on business with the phone. I'M GONNA be famous now. Yeah I would've caught like a white bitch. I all my paperwork. Ah Paperwork I have to go to court like bitch. Michael Nick had nobody with her. I ask ask how goes to court help to court with no paperwork no witnesses no receipts have pictures just the spirit of the Lewis. He was just like well. I mean I didn't know finding me as is pay bitch being got their money. You got me in his mouth and courtroom courtroom Shit fucking Gioja Brown so so we get what folks are Joe Brown slow he slutty. Oh Joy Browne Joe Brown. Tell me about the booty that's like he's ask speed up. Put a recording as fast so I can get it crooked so we went to court winning like forty eight hundred dollar right and I got my mind baking got rid of her and then I read it then I started showing that judge Joe Brown take to everybody who were alleyoop Mitch notified you Masuda Mother fucking shit out of you. Get this section eighteen this bitch rip all walls out. I'm crying. They didn't give me motherfucking thing. They give me sit for this bit because she was on a government program so now I truly believe Bam judge Judy. Oh I I wish will judge you know work in welfare recipient. You know that shit made me almost vote Republican that Republican all fuck what you motherfucker. I'm almost voted Republican after this ship. Will you become a land when you become a homeowners and you pay Texan. You start live around. You see why the white people here crazy. The mother thought when you live in free like walls. I'll say she didn't eat food. I'm like why you motherfucker. Hey No me in line with fogies grocery nigger 'cause. I can't do it right right yeah so after that I truly believe that the program should have a time limit. I don't think you should unless there's something physically wrong with you physically wrong with you now. I'm not GonNa talk about food stamp because everybody can't buy food but but as far as section at truly believe nobody pay your rent because I got a girlfriend. I've been on Fucking C. One the Bengal put their groceries the refrigerator box growth you know get in California. You could buy fast food food stamps yeah so a lot of places even get beginning the let them by fool yeah. I'M NOT GONNA take food at but nobody's in five years. If is a ten year program in five years you can become a doctor you can become a lawyer. You could become a teacher. You educate yourself to become a better person. That's all I'm saying and I was a welfare recipient. SCIPIO FOOD STAMPS GIG land section eight getting bit so I know how it is scheme each one teach one. I used to have a bit about if the Momma get the Mama get welfare nine I times out of ten the daughter going to get where where fans like diabetes at the Mama guided daughter. Just fucking Mama had diabetes I had until I had weight loss. Surgery is a fucking cycle so actually nobody help you with your rent for longer than fucking that just mink unless you some rose physically something ophthalmology with you gotTa. Have you got a fucking. Oh parcel opioid healthy motherfucker like some of my friends have been on section eight for thirty years no bitch we we have helped you longer. No this time whole you should be able to fly we're in a white neighborhood and they're walking by going. Damn black woman is right the white man walking by nodding their heads your fucking Republican no fucking in real news because I been there. I know that mentality of getting it's not theoretical for you. It's you lived it. It's not something that you just sat there and you know well L. People should have that opportunity. You realize what it is to actually be enabled and then not enabled and and how much better your life isn't that this scheme in another the Salvator Lazy motherfucker and you found a way to circumvent getting a real job and dealing with other people share of course there's unless somebody actually actually fucking makes you get up and do the why would you change right. If you've got the gravy train wile the fuck unless you just end it like this is why I say about Miss she's so unique is she could have stayed on that gravy train running like everybody else but there was something inside her that told her. I'm like these motherfuckers. I don't want this yeah that takes that takes a certain level of self awareness that a lot of people don't have I'm on my ex wife and I did the math one time if we quit our jobs and went on every available government program we were GonNa make an extra fifty dollars a day fifty dollars a month. I mean so you you look at it and you go like I guess if you're if you're just living off of government programs like what's the incentive to to work. I was working sixty hours a week at that point so she it's like why wouldn't you do that. If you don't have to again. Let me reiterate. This is nothing wrong with getting help is nothing and we're not talking about the people when you you know your income don't allow you to buy the the the amount of food that you have. You know that you need. I'm not talking about those people. I'm talking about lazy. Motherfucker who just wore handouts been on the system for ever like okay so I had this these keys. I won't say who they are so these these kids in the car will mean one time. My son worked at CHICK-FIL-A. I may get a job when he's fourteen years old and my daughter you know she fucking working she did she go to college job but anyway so I set my son has to divert all you shit get a job fourteen years old and it's not because you need the money is because I'm teaching you life skilled thirstier work today. Make a long story short. I had these two kids in the car with him. One day and I say hey they say why yelling Donald Job yet as like June bug driving them like him really gotta call. You got a job and that's why you don't have a why not why don't you have a job yet. He's like a Mama's there. We can't get no job because if we do is gonNA fuck up a food stamps and as she kicked me in my chest because I was like. Do you know what you train in here. Do you know the mass that you put unease and I know a lot of people go right in calling and say well. What about Corporate America stealing? We're not talking about corporate America still. We're not talking about a government still. I'm just talking about the programs that I've been on an ASI people that continue to hinder them sales by stand on these programs like a girl for always. Tell me I'm poor even even when I was fucking poor right I said when you when you feed the brain certain sheet the brains begin to allow you to live there when you Taylor brain that you pour the brain allow you to function because you don't talk the brain told bring your poll hours the rich. I'm going about his motherfucking out. I didn't have no clue house on my fiction. Now I wanted to only by was twenty advocate so correct. Let me tell you about my house. What happened was our old scheming? Bitch is a lot of what was what happened. No not now. No I win at work for General Motors right and when you work for you. Are you supposed to report at this time I eh one the first time I worked for. Generals Unemployment Alpha was not hooked up to the way of Al Right so you're supposed to tell us everything doing hey. I got a job and you need to recalculate elite Maria. Oh you need to recalculate benefits fucked now. I'm going to give free rein and making twenty thousand now. What an inch time I wanted to go do tint tint work? They call me and it was like hey bitch. Did you work at General Motors. I'm how you know there's an unemployment office. You all US seven thousand dollars dollars in back way so that wasn't enough so at the time I didn't have now out of such a great landlord the time blessed us any 'cause if she's still alive but as such great landlord who didn't want me to lose my fiction certificates. She gave me the seven thousand dollars and she knew awesome. My husband was living with me and she said Hey and then I had a husband who probably toils now is the time that I didn't report either so I tell her I said hey we're going to do. Is She. Say she said just pay me back. Mark the extra degree so we ended up panic when we got our taxes I went into the same stupid shit again so I run into this mean bitching not knowing you bled I I you won't pull his race car she. She said I've given you to change his three changes. Each time you lie. I'm take years a typical the crank names tape. I'm Paul. She say get a job entail the the truth next time and she looked at me like a devil house. I hate you bitch a racist. She said what you gotTa appreciate me later. 'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA get a job and do you. A NIGGA went out and bought that house about their house got a job and got my sheet together and I have to say that it was the one that was one of the biggest step in my life that lady taking this fucking fucking certificate from me because I don't know if I was still be owned by probably probably was still would have been scheming for another five years on it and I go home and I'll tell him I lost my yeah. My husband like good now. You'll go to work everyday and I think the older you get the more you realize like. I wish I had started X. earlier. I wish wish I'd started excellently that lost time that five years you may not be sitting here with all the opportunities. You've got if you hadn't had that happen. I and I'm just I'm glad my mind open. I started ought to light and I had a talk our time was my caseworker told me she used to beat me down about being on. Where like aren't you a shame on my now bitchy Free Free Medicai- free where found she was like? Do you understand that you may way more than you could ever they could ever you could earn away more than they could ever pay you and she started to change my mind and it's just like we're talking about race. You have a lot of times if you don't talk about. People don't know you'd be surprised how conversation bring on a mother fucker youth out who you are shooting. No just don't know and you take them. Something and I learned a lot from her. I learned standards to to be honest. She taught me a lot of fucking standards. Name is Ms Jarver. She shouldn't be on welfare. You shouldn't be on welfare with no matter how why not be free you get anything. It should should be for your kid but are really hard to eventually when my husband got when we both will my husband went to go work for General Motors for time to take everybody off Amerique. Okay everybody off of Welfare Yeah. My Dad ran a janitorial company when I was a kid and he hired a lot of poor whites and they would always say. Can you only scheduling for thirty nine hours this week. I don't want to lose any of my benefits and he would eventually find a way to fire them after that because he thought if they're going to rip off the taxpayers or if they're gonNA scheme on on them then what are they gonNA do when they're cleaning banks for me you know it's kind of like if you're if you're like did when you look back like. Did you look get that. As it was free it was free. It was like two but it'll be. Where did you think the money came from you? Don't you don't know no when you were not a part of system. We didn't know because I wasn't paying attention to what was going on in the world right. I didn't know it was techs. Pills like honestly when I started to what became a homeowner and I started to really work for what I get and I was like it when like this like I never ever thought it will get mad at people with food stamps. I'm here in in my neighborhood and I I think I told you doesn't matter I'm at Walmart and I'm sitting there and I got some frozen Jews and I look over in a buggy dougy and I used to tell a bit about these five things of Tropicana and I never look up at the person I was like pitch. What are you working that you can buy fire Tropicana mechanical at one time at the little big when they're like fourteen dollars each okay juice tropical always real deal you would the snap top and the fucking aluminum foil on the top you got appeal to the recyclable containers us as cool Niger when you finish ah so she found in a bug and I'm like bitch? What are you working there? In the middle of the day you just back fat days of fucking Tropicana on a good use at one time and I look she pulled out a fucking food stamp car and I was disbanded and I'm looking at my book and I got frozen Jews and I was on my car. I gotTA to stop. I feel like a middle aged white man. I'm hey girl my my son used to date this. Is this have like it'd be wanted him to put his frozen shooting in that moment I really felt like a Republican is the second let me see the Hanes. Let me say to hate. I'll not Republicans. Hey I mean hateful but dave boy. I was pissed off that. BJ always you. I'm GonNa take a break and when I come back we're GONNA finish talking about how you buy gals orange juice and not be broke. We're back talking about being on welfare making changes in your life Tropicana Tropicana Orange Sousse Santa right no no why say Diaz is this one of your Cooley Soda Fucking Liaison Chris. I really do Tropicana travel what the fuck is trump mechanical cool. I've no idea I was mysterious code. How I know what you're trying to say? GotTa gotTA stop. Let me pronounced out. He's just sitting there like we have great conversations. Were trying to figure out what you say. I don't want to make you feel like you're fucking these Tropicana coil drop Cana- Tropicana annacone no no trump accountable. We don't know the sound good though yeah use use sponsors sponsored. I love when I fuck. That's where you're not fuck up. There were intentionally just come out of my my mouth in for some reason I think my tongue is long is called. You have a lot of kids troppled council either. They Drank Tropicana ICAL mechanical. I'd be laughing at this shit. Tropicana Tropicana Pecans owns US yeah Tropicana ause you know seeing her on Jews in Dallas I oh I said I'm really fucking coming a Republican. I'm hey known a girl for being able to buy builder Jews right and I'm like but that's my money. She bounds you and so I had to shake it off. y'All test now right. You don't know people's situation. Don't we'll be acting like that and I gave her total. Enjoy the Jews okay so let me ask you guys this because I personally feel like as as long as I'm okay. I don't care what you do with whatever money that I've spent in taxes so now if I'm out here struggling ragland where I'm barely making ends meet and I see you by Eighteen Tropicana cus I would be pissed the fuck all but if if I'm good and I see you buying Tropicana I I'm not going to give a fuck. I don't know I mean I've. I'm at a point in my life where I have made seventeen thousand dollars and then I'm at a point point where I'm doing well and I work so much harder and I have had so many years of sacrificing and not having not doing well not like to get to a point for the ability to pay this much in taxes and I'm like why are they eating eating better than like you get that bill every April fifteenth and you just go fuck. It's probably worse for you because you're you're a ten ninety nine all over the place like I mean at the end. I think it's more opposite for me like I. I don't mind happen but I don't want to hinder like I don't mind you know I like. I say someone Democrat. I would never vote Aguirre's sheet that I might need in the future but I don't have a problem with getting food stamps but my whole thing is. I don't want to give your life yeah. I mean if if we need because you never know when something might have y'all literally my husband went down at the beginning of January what was January he had a tornado tornado that rocked my fucking house whole it didn't kill but Iraq my fucking household yeah you talking about a man who fucking make good money to go down to fucking disability in something else's job game which is probably more than a lot of people pay but still when your household is functioning it it didn't it didn't it didn't break but I we miss that extra income right so it didn't it didn't make me need to go apply foods that we casteel. Here's around here I understand everybody has ups and downs in life and that's what we're supposed to be here. Everybody you know I help you. You helped me in the world's busiest impeach album. My problem is when you when you abuse the system Yeah No. I've had a lot of friends and a lot of them. Even are Libertarians who have used you know the the like the Healthy Indiana plan for their kids or you know which is kind of our Medicaid for for Medicare American I can never I don't know what the differences or have used food stamps programs to get by and it's not a lifestyle. It's like I need temporary. Help like you go well. You paid all the money when you were productive and then at this point if you need to get by like take take the government health. That's kind of what I tell people. I if I'm cutting stuff off of I'm trying to save money. I'm starting with the bombs in Yemen. I'm starting with military spending route forming entitlements like I don't. I'm not the type of person that says our first cut ought to be food stamps in Medicaid security but I do think that it is interesting to go back and re Bill Clinton's nineteen ninety-two campaign book which reads like a Republicans book now like he would be Mitt Romney's campaign book of to see the way that he ran in ninety two and most of it was about welfare affair reform and I know that I know you talked a lot about that. Not a lot of people like I've heard people have similar stories where his welfare reform kind of force them to go all right time to the I mean what were some of the things that kind of forced you. What what are the changes in the made it not a lifestyle wild turkeys well? He started taking sheet where before they were just giving you just stay at home. State vote vote instead of fuck at home well when Bill Clinton came along. You know these he's I I. I will vote for he came on. He started taking these. Hey you're not going to give foods now. You're not going to get welfare. You'RE NOT GONNA get section eight if you don't get out and go and get educate yourself of you go out and get a job right so when they take their forcing you to get up off your as like now in certain places in his world and his country you can't get way of a they just started making allowing you to Ed kids but Bill Clinton now. They stopped it. Whatever amount of keys you had on welfare you had anymore Canadian? you know so that were forced me to get my is because I wasn't getting an extra forty dollars for normal children. Throw yeah discharge here. They're gonNA give it another one hundred dollars foods no mother fucker you can give food but you can get welfare and when you add another mouth whether them a little extra money they will give you help so you like Oh. I gotta I gotTa feed this motherfucker apples so that what made me give up when they started to take freesheet for me and it won't me to fuck up especially excellent. I lost their free reign you make about Lou reed either going to become homeless. Are they going to go out and do what the fuck they gotta do to have a roof over their baby a real mama survive by the big three jobs. That's what I believe. There's a that's the problem I have with it and you know and and and been landlord how to government you you you get on these program program to help people is nothing to help the landlord when they tap your fucking property right isn't it cost me eighteen thousand dollars worth of damage and I literally did it not get a dime from them at the beater as and I didn't get the beater asked if I got to be there. Is it a lot me up bitch anyway her heifers certificate so she can go walk to the next person and treat their properties like that. That's baffling now. She's really not though honestly Dan you. You asked me for her deposit. which was a thousand dollars? I say bitch I will not on your view. It's not surprising that she tore up your house and then in just was because it happened so like honestly it probably happens a lot so much so that when you you get arrested like the logjam they just trying to get people out of the yes. No I got my tires stolen off my car. All four tires and the cops didn't investigate instigated and the people that stole my tires knew that they weren't ever going to investigate it and so when there's no real penalties today so I'm not a libertarian because I just I'm selfish wanted to lose every election. It's just when you talk to so many people you lose a lot of Alexa everyone every single every single one but you never vote Democrat. Yeah I vote Democrat. I vote Democrat Republican Libertarian and an independent almost every election. I vote stay on this side. You'll lose yeah you like the Cleveland Brown. It's it's like. CPI him he just he just trashed all your Cleveland they have a good team issue like CPS. I just had an instance where a friend their kids going through something and it's because of the other parent and end the kid told the doctor so the doctor called. CPS Well a report was written. They show up to the parent that is the good parents house to do the inspection and they never show up to the bad parents house because they have a lawyer and everybody just sort of feels like something was done. We call this government agency meanwhile L. Nothing ever changes for the kid. Now I mean you so fucked up. CPS years so fuck you have all of these institutions that just bureau the bureaucracy accuracy allows you to hide and get away with bad behavior and there's never any consequences and it's just like it just doesn't work so I'm not surprised that they never faced any kind of consequences awesome like I have. I have custody of my niece four kids right and so she just opened up she said I later like Oh okay what nobody cheering just disappear went on vacation came back and say this bitch and left him so it's been about three four years ago now literally when I went to Damn I say I don't want food stamps out on won't medicate all our won't childcare our welfare. They said no childcare. I say the fuck as opposed to do with four keys when I travel and I got two kids in high school I don't so then they say well. I sent. CPS come. I hear Kiosk has helped help me get daycare and they said well while maybe you can be a foster pair and started talking to him about my bag. Oh you victor fell unlike year. Oh Oh will you gotta put the keys in his system and if you put them in the system might not never get them bay bitch. I'm not taking any kid but I love Pussy Shichao giving me so also ma'am. I just won't day-care no literally they took it. They didn't give me Shit for fo- fucking keys at raising now for almost five years but listen it is just how fucked up the system Chris. If you would have taken those keys they'd gave us seven hundred dollars a pop in his why because you know kindle Oh yeah it just seems like government in general from the president on down rewards bad behavior the worst worst you are the less it works like American way which you talking about your productive. I really is like if you're a decent hardworking person you get fucked every fault and if you're a piece of shit you're going to succeed and I just account cowboys Indians. I'm telling you because the Indians was decent. They cared about the land cow was Zyppah guns guys. Let me get shit trail of tears best literally how it fucking people came over here. She was going fine and Dandy they they default but the land was good. fucking corporations came over here. The water's fucked up and they just move somewhere else. It's like game of thrones Thomas. He failed at every fucking job he had he can't get work was the Pacers head coach sucked became he was the raptors. GM sucked sucked into the Knicks suck twice twice. They brought a was getting paid the he hasn't won anything anywhere anywhere. Since he left the player he left the Pistons he wanted to championship. Where is he now? He's NBA. The House is more focused. Keep getting fucking is so amazing you reward is comedy ever wanted to bat somebody right now that I hate so much and is such an asshole and they just keep failing and failing up and you just go and if he's anything you're fucking okay. Hey talking. Hey person you just go. How does this person keep failing integrate opportunities? What a piece of garbage because like you said they just like the government? Just keep rewarding bushier mindy and talk about it all the time 'cause we since we moved away from our way of fan crazy raise them above and we moved into the comedy you look at comedy. You like how to talk to this person. Get this. I had a friend that told me it was like didn't even been funding them. Oh Oh yeah at the fucking hilarious everyday conversation is fucking funny at my house but funny on a mother fucking thing for me sometime yeah because you look at it like this motherfucker selling out theaters and they pretty much just talking about second date and honestly I've seen some of these people that we've talked about live and I watched the crown. What are y'all what is it? Why do I not find that funny right as a person in the industry like look if anything a comics laugh at your job because they get how you came up with it you know I know where you're going so I should be like that's funny? I'm just sitting back and I'm like do so much more with that idea and just shit. It's politics two. I look at it and and I go. Why are you people falling for this? It doesn't matter what party you just go. Why are you saying this about immigration when it's verifiably are finally untrue? It's just I don't know what it is about the human animal. Everybody jumped on his same fucking way going to ride it out hack animals yeah it's like nobody wants to do research research for the sales. Nobody wants to say you know like it's almost like it's like Hollywood to all the movies if they don't start remaking those seat comms and remaking moves. I'M GONNA kill Hugh Myself. I'm literally GONNA kill myself. If I see one Moma fucking moving on the nineteen eighties remix Allow Action Little Mermaid is over over no goven yeah. I'm like Goupil just a disclaimer if you'd like to hire Miss Pat for remains please touch with her age. Do Hollywood have any fucking original ideals twenty years from now. We're GONNA be doing black game of thrones voted taught Pat I have I'm GONNA kill myself. Twenty Twenty minutes Pat yes calm easy. Ah for a piece Earth Moving Bumi on up on weezer season. You could be fucking joy joy young as I just I'm tired and rewarding bushy. What is in politics was fuck and being lazy piece of sheet not giving you a part of society? What is his comedy of? Whatever is sick as me fucking sick as me we empower it with the choices we make every dollar you spend every click online every vote the you make we reward bad behavior? If you're tired of it you gotTa make you gotTa make some chain. I came look at the Dow Dick Sucking Joe Videos you wouldn't I don't. I don't know why you would be looking at those. This video like crazy videos. I'm listening to you. Ms Pat sends me videos. My inbox with looks like a world star like I send it to video the stripper in Atlanta with the fucked up as I did. You get that watch ninety percent of those. She'll be like if you watch. That's so funny. I'm like no ah over warm bed because so many were Maggie hitting the ball yeah right yes yes the fucking camera who stopped them start the Manhattan his mouth. The Camel Campbell Campbell was fucking hilarious. Yeah I mean these people aren't getting hurt the buffoons. I'm talking about like your exploiting the tragic lake break of this college girl. Who's the gymnast and you just go? I'm not clicking on that like that's just painful like that's no the same human impulse that I'd go watch you know the Christians being killed in the coliseum or a hanging. You know like you just go that's you morning. Mayhem got cut off the first time they could be the only time they have videotaped they may he could've bird and I would. I would not my I remember watching it. Saddam get hung yeah. I remember watching. I didn't watch that either. I can't watch Yukio. No nobody you fuck what you say I can't do it. I watched the Nick Berg video and I've how dare you I'd. I was like eighteen. Maybe and I will never watch anything like that again yeah. I'm like that too I can't I don't find pleasure in actual death breath or like it's not funny but if you get hit in the nuts with a fucking that video I showed you like camel. Put your hand in his mouth. That's funny funny but like I don't get off on that. I don't go looking for that if it shows up on my time line view but I'm not one of those people who like Oh let me find the next video of this gagging his head chopped off or even people spend hours on youtube faces of death yeah or thousand ways to die that type of of Crete me to fall. I I have no interest in any of that. Shit me neither so I mean that's just what I do. I mean I don't know I can't. I can't watch certain sheet like that. I won't say nobody died. You know I just WANNA see everybody payday part. I don't mind helping anybody here. Come my daughter-in-law. It's always somebody come into my fucking house. Grand Central Station is is is damn near and she got the cold too dull to hey daughter-in-law y'all got to remember. This is just all opinion. You don't mean she just the way we feel Chris Dion I don't go out and he's talking about people on Welfare because you got Ta. I'm not I'm just giving you my part my point of view from being a landlord it'd be taught my house and yeah him grandsons because they they don't take off your call. What's happening right? Now is one of Ms Pets daughter-in-law Orlov's from sign. Ya'll really good for my son so when we wrap it up because we fucking in phone calls coming in yeah I gotta go feed. This dog feed myself what Cortlandt what are we doing a podcast. They have a yeah. I'm GonNa Join US now Brown. What'd you say Bobby? I love you get Abbad lead please. That's been MS pay Chris. Thank you for tuning in another episode of the PAT down. Thank thank you so much for tuning into another episode of the PAT down. Make sure you check out my website at Tech Company Dot Com for all of my social media.

Joe Brown Bill Clinton US Tropicana youtube General Motors Atlanta America Indiana Chris this Miss Pat Tampa Dan facebook Chris Chris Theon troppled Cannell Orlando
Butt Butter and Abortion

The Patdown with Ms. Pat

49:34 min | 1 year ago

Butt Butter and Abortion

"Hey, it's white boy, Chris, if the pat-downs ever made you laugh, then join our patriotic and support us, get bonus content a t shirt or an autograph copy of rabbit, MS pats autobiography visit miss. Pat comedy dot com for the link to the patriot. And while you're there. Join our Facebook group, thank you off a tune into another episode of the Pat down. I wanna I think you guys for making putting this podcast and the top team out the just four weeks. I we truly appreciate it. No. We'd be on increased. Hell. Yeah. Hell motherfucker year, I'm actually blown away. When, when, like I say increase, I CD sheet, I was like should the folk up crazy. So let me know pack pipedream a we I I'm truly truly appreciated. Make sure you would. Yeah, the rate review subscribe in itunes, go give us a review five stars that helps us get to number one. We want to be the number one, not just comedy podcast. But number one podcast, if you'd like to show go do that for us and to help us get to number one. And you know what make we just got it a patriotic this week. Yup. Yeah. Because y'all keep s. Asking me to do video. I'm sitting in my house right now with Chris with no borough when no Wego alleged like his uncle, Pat. You gotta see this. Honestly, I've had a Woody the entire time saw what he's the on. Not to other men. What is that, like a small? Away. Well, there's a difference between your neighborhood my neighborhood miss bat in terms of size. But we. Just say, take me. Thank you for tuning in today. I'm sitting here with say, hey, what's up y'all y'all give it up for my Whitemore tree? How's it going, and y'all show some love to my daughter would allow voice, Gary, Ana? Joe is that was so fucking energetic going to be a good podcast. Yeah. That means you don't exercise own now. All right. John stay to you about housing fucking fun. He's about to get real. But. That's true. Spitting real fat. Got to play. Real. Spin? Wait and turn off. Now. Play. Signed up, everything funds full. Alpha this tuck. The way to bleed over. So how's everybody doing today? What's everybody mad? I think the man I was watching beyond saying, because your energy is shit. You've been ordering people around like the goddamn dictator you are. Castro whole, Pat. Great hurry up. Little Murray and up to everybody. Well, I mean, the close boy, just got off the school bus walked in the house on, you can get that up put that down. Get that out there now. I walk in the house. He's got a house while into there was days. I walk I got home. And she was sitting on the side of the street. Try try watching this Merv from the sidewalk in front of your house. So learn how to be thankful. God, dammit. What about us, Murph this, Murph, the cartoon ho you were watching TV, our rather, watch TV? Honestly, it's a beautiful day, so nice beautiful outside Gary on fuck this shit leaky. Hey, you fuck house. You're gonna clean it up Hazel dweller like a may episode in this house all day with no bath no week just chilling. I don't wanna clean up behind. No fucking kid. My kids are grown, and I should be off on my own living my best life, but I decided to sacrifice my life with somebody else key. I'm not picking up draws I'm not seeing about I'm not doing that fucking sheet. And when you're like in pre before middle school, they're always shitty drawers to, like, I don't know about you Dion, but boys are gross. I was a smelly kid. I wipe my ass. I he got a little bit. Tony toilet. Why busy? You know as he, he's skimming built like a white girl before as implants. Me and you gotta Degan our as like a we run into a trance gain and get it clean. Garryowen. How are you today? His hiding it is hot. And here's why I had the window open somebody. This not working. Minions. Why would you. To save energy, aren't you try to say the planet? That is a good point. Pat, well, should be telling me to recycling. She hit him. They don't throw it out for the dolphins. Go get it. And I don't know how hold on for me. Queasy column. Sorry. Yeah. You know, me I answer phone calls in the middle of the thing house, our weekend. I went I was in New York is she the one with all the Asian babies? She's the one without Asian babies two keys. Asian by two different Asian. Blake me Dion. I learned she has a graveyard pussy, I think is what it was. So that's actually seen. On Sean Letham show, and your daughter, Ashley walked up and just one word destroyed the whole show is hilarious. And then I saw a picture of Ashley for the first time went holy shit miss. Pat has twin actually looks exactly exactly like she had her by herself cut carbon copies kinda gross to be on. Why you want to sleep with me and ask. I've never seen somebody. You know, look, exactly like like she looks nut. I don't I've never seen her father. It's like your genes marched in and said, get the fuck on these, like they took that one little piece they needed from his it was like get the fuck out of here. We got this. There's what happened when you pull and grew up together. They say feed them today. Looked like it. Back in the day before DNA tests came out of that's the baby that well feed the nicotine you look like. I did not have that same DNA came out. You took demand, the child's work call he say, what did ain't my eyes? The jury say. Well, there's no way to prove you, not dad just feed them today. Look like you what? Oh, fees into they owe eighteen no feed them today. Look like you feed anything enough, you start to look like him now that's not our new people who like their dogs, and their lizard, feel like you get twin babies when you have sex integrated like I feel like that's what happened. Have a great job out of duty. Conceive the greenback, you was conceived there. That's wise. I was d. You say was there. So it was a live. Now resurrection is starting to open open a gear born with one I close night. Does he got he's, he's just fed is, is. Well, like very eyelids. Yeah. Guess we got to look out for ghosts. Or. Ain't no damn ghost in. I mean, they add, but they don't say nothing, just look, they look, they don't bother you do you believe in ghosts. Holy goes. The Holy Ghost one time at a Paolo do Paula Abdul. Maybe. You felt. No, Paula why I was at the Georgia Dome. This Christian thing I used to say. Hamburgers and hot dogs. They're back in the day, where the keys in my neighbor in Paula white TD, Jakes non was death. Get ready. Get ready. Get ready. It was the most crazy ever seen Christian people. Do they it was, like so Gaza saw one hundred dollars? See, I'm like Donald Garate ground. Outy turns people just grabbed the hundred I'll do it in back in the day to Donald was three tiers. So did you pick it up? You just keep toy ASA use some crazy motherfucker. I ain't Nelson anyway. Like that. A bunch of black patted ended up picking sheet up, but she almost made me that day. I really felt the Holy Ghost. And I ran up out of there. Get my Hafeez the Holy Ghost came fuck. Beautiful fuck around him out. One is back deal goes fucked up being the only reason she went to hell because she didn't want to mess up here. Jesus that humidity. Don't kill you. Do you know today said as one of the reason why black women are overweight, because we won't work out because of our hair? Really? Yeah. We will not fuck about hair. So now we wearing weeks I still. I still. I was going to bag Gary on it. But I can't I just listened to the I can't go start. Now you can't finish. I'm gonna see what she's too funny, but they say black women all workout. So that's, that's one of the reason why we saw overweight. So now we're going to weeks and plastic surgery. We just skip the workout just fucking suck it out of us. And then give us a nice little baby. Doe figure. Well, that's how why people did it. Yeah. They know they create a whole new profession. So they didn't have to work out. They want to ask this. So what they do instead of working out to get asked. They just got a doctor. Hey puts them ass only, you know. And I don't understand about people because back in the day, if you wanted to, as when I was little, I'll, you had to do was use your mother, government butter, does, she just to get? What are your chest? You never heard that you rub it on your hands. This is opposed to make your booty grow. When we was little, you won't t put butter on your beat. This sounds like some creative molest. They creepy uncle Mr. illegal dis hanging now. Now's the next night with them. Tweens for drinking alcohol. They were stupid. Stories about your next door neighbor. Say it might have worked because you got a big, but I've got big tennis too. I don't think the had anything to do with both. Genetics. Today, they're using that wrong. But she they don't take cholesterol, not. Glad here and get that expensive care goat butter and put that on organic butter. No, you can't use that Gucci. Like drinking a coke new straight at the we're. No. You gotta use bash make AS growth like country crock. That's the bad, but don't remarks or not in Parque water. Water. Can't believe I have no ass. These same Bader. I've never seen just called butter. Don't got no ingredients no agrees. Take bill. Value. Just butter angry on your imagination. You guessed what it is you guess, but you think what does she work for me? I gotta began Buddhist speaking of women. We won't talk about I was thinking today that Alabama, Alabama, as long as they get damn mind. Go ban abortion, even for rape victim. How you go is Alabama out of all states with the cousin focus the daddy, fuck of the uncle folks, the next door neighbor. The Dow fuckers. To ban abortion. I feel like that's probably a small minority of. I'm talking to serve in Alabama are plummeting. We get the same thing about Georgia to, because they did the same. Well, we're not talking about joy, Dane past. We'll talk my Alabama. They real close to pays. Isn't that crazy? You know what's crazy about banning abortion, and I don't get fucked what you write, in say, I personally do not give because I will have Gary on a hurt feeling what opinion PayPal. Doesn't have anything better to book you up and shooter. She got writers. God. Damn right. So my thing is, is they do all of this shit to control the women by but nobody ever come up. We clip the Neagle Milas really go have. Clip the nigger nuts day that is true ladies. If a man tells you that it was an accident he came in you. He is fucking lying. You know, when you're about to come Dion, you want to get in on this had an accident. Your God knew. Title. He was his implicit. Listen, if one hundred percent of unwanted pregnancies are caused by the man because he can't control his shit. Well, my thing is they always talking about doing it to the woman, but they don't ever say, I wanna hear you somebody in pass a Bill to say, I'll means must Clinton being here's you're never going to get that because the women who agree with them. Keep bucking. You gotta stop those bitches from giving pussy do the dudes who say, oh, layers, white Mazel. The thing is you got all of these whole last white means making the decision it was twenty five white man's pass that Bill and I guarantee you maybe toward a Dick's work. Maybe that's not the problem. The problem is the women that agree with those dudes but it was twenty five minutes past it. They're the ones in charge. But their wives are, like, hey Honey, preach. Those bitches you gotta check. This is the minute, those stop giving up pussy. Those dues will be like, well fuck will you just got to change our attitude? Notify more bitches like that. That's what I'm saying. Those are the ones you have to stop. You gotta stop tho those people. You got to not gonna you cannot tell because twenty-five bitches decide of the play with twenty five small Deeks in Alabama decisions to make what happened. It's been happening for four hundred years, small dinner. Beat the racist. Now, focused keep giving fuck by racist bitches, and in the shadows anything to do I'm saying it's the mentality of I agree with the person in charge who's got a fucked up mindset. Don't make them racist. I'm now she's nothing races. He just saying dumb holes. They'll say, whole see not so sick a you actually think I'll say nothing. The clock. The clock it, what it down. And I'll say, for right now, I will say I have now he's trying to say that, that dumb girls be like messing with dumb. Do see not personally affects them personally affects them. Then they'll change their behaviors back always winning person fake. That's what I'm saying. So you gotta get the so whoever's in charge making stupid decision that affects the majority, but they're in the minority, but they're controlling everybody, so like eighty year old. Why do who cares if he's go? Having no one cares. But he's going to tell you, you have an abortion having no more kids, not to say every pro-lifer as soon as one of their mistresses get pregnant. They like go get an abortion. Exactly. They loved that. Donald Trump asked what his mistress to get an abortion. I'm sorry, I was so. Amped up the minute. The minute those do have to face the same consequences as everybody else will be the minute there. Like, what are you sit down and talk? Is always I mean even with everything it just blows my fucking man. Why do they have to happen to you before you give a fuck were happening to everybody else is none of your business is none of your fucking business? What women do what they body is none of your business, which is worse, a girl having an abortion at fifteen or a girl, having a kid at fifteen who Jato help her raise this kid. I don't give her no money. She ends up having to break the law or to provide for these kids. She goes to jail to kick goes into the system. He's fucked up in the Hague. He took his mom away. So now not only do you have her in jail, but you got to meet you speak up because use a courteous to this. I was driving here. And I was like, you know what I hope we have a fun show today. Last fucking thing. I wanted to talk about was ele- Bama an abortion, because I tell you, because I think the way you because I think that the way that these two have framed pro-life people is incredibly insulting to per life, people, and the things that they believe that I believe, I'm pro-life, I personally would not have kiss your pro-life and then take away all protections once that life gets here. Best stupid that has nothing to do with any you say, did I did. I say, did you hear those words come out of my Ma I'm trying to get you going finish that people get excited some key ski it, and that's why you'll back that's lasted after the last one. She goes, he just kinda start fucking yell and back in go, go. I think that the people that are in Alabama passing these laws, you may disagree with them. But they passionately believe what they're doing is right. And they operate from a different world view than you have. And to just say that they're all fucking mistresses, and that they're all a bunch of backward. Mouth, breathing Hicks is incredibly insulting to those people because we're not talking about, we're not talking about people that, when I say cousin fuckers, if you're not fucking your cousin, then this don't go towards. Say because I said cousin fucking doubt fucking what if you don't have fucking dogs in your cousin and your aunty? What in this don't fuck it apply to you? You just like Sam I'll nNcholas breaking styles. Chris, I don't work in. No mother fucking stutter. I go and use my fucking speedway card, the right way. But oh, but here's where I do think that I would agree with you guys. Is that the use of the government to force other people to live that, those the way that those guys want them to live is inappropriate? Like my personal choices would be pro-life every time. But I understand that like you can never prohibition on anything does not work. You will never be able to prohibit abortion out of existence and the pro-life position that if you're a pro-lifer and you're not willing to say, I will put a woman and a doctor in jail for life for committing murder. If you're not willing to go to that point, then you're hypocritical and they're never willing to go to that point. And so, because it is it is not miss pats on the phone. He's her Boertien doctors. But so are you for or against the Bush I am against abortion? Okay. That's what I thought. That's why you turn right in the face because those three miles, you'll have a pussy, you are white man in America. And my thing is nobody should tell us what the fuck to do with our body you this is what I don't understand about this country. You say we can't kill the bay, but you don't want to feed the baby make the fuck up your mind cause us a people in abortions usually can't afford to fucking baby. I have a person who had an abortion to have an abortion is fucking horrible. It is fucking horrible. I felt so bad that I never got to know what the fuck I just killed and to be honest with you. I would never do it again. Well, here I am Chris as sixteen years old with my third child by mayor, man uneducated, beam me. I'm already struggling with the first fucking to got an eighth grade education. I brought another baby into the word they want get Nicobar two hundred thirty five dollars. So I had to make the age. I couldn't even get a job. And. I knew what it was the steel mill for two, baby. And that Bhagat damn. If I was good enough to still three. That's right. That's the shit. I'm talking he's easy to run your mouth. And I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about is, is easier for motherfucking to run. They mouth when they never been in this situation, I was pro choice until I was in a relationship with a woman who had an abortion well at Christian. Kennedy won't you, baby. But it was it wasn't the Boertien by my wasn't my child. But oh, you want her to keep somebody else child, which, you know, I'm saying that this had happened in that person's past. And then you spend a lot of time with somebody who deals with that grief. I mean that she would crazy to say that to say that men aren't affected by abortion. It's not even close in terms of effects. But, but I personally was I, personally saw the effects that an abortion hat on someone that I loved it ruined our relationship that grief ruined our relationship years after it had happened. And so she Royal relations crease because you're supposed to fucking got pregnant. You wanna do your fucking job, create? I'm begging of John, I would have loved to, but she was afraid of getting pregnant and so because of that experience. So to say who's a condo. Yeah. And pulled out and she was on birth control mentioned, how great my sex life was. Here's the thing. Here's the thing if she clearly, she's got trauma that she didn't deal with for you to be in a relationship with a person like that. You are taking on a responsibility. He wanted some very I mean, you knew what you were getting into so didn't until years down the road. And then I was then finally that whose fault is it that you didn't do the research, Chris, you gotta do. I gotta do stupid as fucking convene. Hindsight. Bullshit argument. I've ever heard Dion how you up front them crazy. But you wanted to push the training to me. Miss Pat, I knew she was nuts on something. Got this. He didn't do. So now, so now now, you want to sell women's because using a crazy relationship with a bit. You who had whatever you thought the function now is your dick didn't do the job, Chris. He was supposed to reverse out my, I know some digs or make you. We will talk about him digs at that connect from this break. We thank the Dixit change your mind that was an enlightening break. Quite the break. I, I loved his bucket podcast because you can talk about anything you get really, really serious, 'cause Chris, oh ally by the fucking cry. As soon as we said, Alabama turned Red Eye. He was how fucking quiet. Get out like I go God damn. And I don't want to do this. Yes. I think people should have more abortions. I've been to school with some idiot say y'all rain and I can't take it yellow raising some dumb kids. Yeah. Don't teach them. No manners. They don't be washing their hands. When they come out the bathroom, maybe picking a no. And this is in high school, no raising if you're not going to put the time in the be good. Parents just clip it out. Well, well. You had a collection, plate out the money. I'm feeling everything about Chris's not feeling. His blackshirts unique is going. That my arms crossed. I was like a soon as the collection plate passes. I'm leaving. Okay. Stand him up a who don't have no say, like you can, if bitches came up to you, it was like, look, you gotta put you, you can't Jackie O dick. I don't care what you say. You can't Jackie dick. No more, you gotta stop jacking your dick or you going to do this. This is going to be out there market, but it isn't about controlling a woman's body. It's a bad protecting a life. That is inside. What do you think swimming around right now? And you got out it, it cannot cut your nuts or you are you willing to cut your mother fucking nuts. It's. Yes, and no pro-life. Of course, I would suspect the fuck up about my because this is my pushing I've said it before I could sit fat crackles off. You can't say when life starts if sperm is swimming is alive is moving. It may not be thinking, but it knows where to go if, if fast life I'm usually lie. Explain biology, too. You know. Does the last start? Because if we argue too stupid as life starts to conception in a heartbeat and all that other bullshit. We argued at all day, but at the end of the day, you cannot tell a woman, you just can't do that because I don't think it's right who gives a fuck what you think. And if you heard me earlier, I'm not saying that I should have that power to force. Ms Pat to do anything, and I'm not gonna I'm not talking about you. So I wanna make that clear. I think it's the end of the day life. So if I have an abortion because at the end of the day, my beliefs, control myself and know that's the problem, a bus who believe the same dumb bullshit. Get together. And you make that pass. This is all free. You using the word you know, let me ask you some, Chris. Yes, man. So if you had to vote, Liz, you'll be hall them away freeze three news against one that ain't right bigger than me to me. I'm not afraid of the let me say it again. So if you had afraid of MS pets. You better be. I've seen the tape. Which one? So if you had an opportunity if you own a border, you had to vote to stop abortion. How would you vote Chris? I mean, I will personally say no allow women to do what they wanna do that, just my belief. I'll give fuck what y'all say, I have made you get. I believe that nobody should be able to tell me what to do with my fucking like do. I think you should use abortions. And recreation fuck now you should be more responsible. But if somebody get raped or whatever your fucking reasoning, you shouldn't have you should know woman. She had nine abortion, no woman. So if you had to vote on abortion, you sitting there, you part a congress you in Alabama with a white head on a why he will. How did that came into Thomas? Fucking jefferson. I use the pope. So you got on a white robe, but you look like ABRAHAM LINCOLN and you the vote if you vote today. So stop abortions, what would you vote my personal belief so fucking believe that's exactly what you just asked me. What does he believe? I'm asking you how vote because you're trying to put me into a false choice because I don't believe that I have the right as an intimate this Blaine. Everything. Chris, I just I know how because because I think it's important for the nuance to be funk as they want. Cuss work later on. No just one go create because. Using laws at the end of the day is using the barrel of a gun to force somebody else to live the way that you think they ought to live. I don't feel that that is an appropriate. Use my time would be better spent supporting crisis pregnancy centers on helping young women who are in Christ, not what I asked you back in light. But if I here's the thing, if I say, no, if I say, yes, yes, I would vote pro-life you're, you are assigning to me an answer that I do not believe I do not believe that it is appropriate just because I have a different view of abortion, the so, oh, yes or no on, whether you would allow abortion to be legal in your state is the question, if we all had to go to the poll today, I will vote. Hey, do how FM kids because out of shut the fuck up. Would you would you go? I mean you're creating scenarios, though, that, but that's the problem we think he doing that. White man tap dance. No, it's not it's not the issue. I'll be happy. Fucking it. Dan? Yes. You a direct question. Would you vote? Yes or no to log allies Washington like, well, my personal belief goes, she is asking me for an opinion that I do not know she will not ask you're probably would never want to put myself in a position where I was in. I was the personal use citing list, so you wouldn't vote, you wouldn't vote if it was if it was on a ballot you wouldn't vote, I wouldn't vote, okay? If we were having sakes, it will like you go you with six minutes, not only expert three because you're asking me because you're trying to put me into actual question. But you ask me, a question that would put me into a position, I don't agree. And I think Dion, you're trying to. No, I'm just telling you that how black people live, we get put in positions. We didn't ask for all the fucking time, and we gotta deal with it. You always British. No, I'm just saying I want him to understand the mentality of the thought process, that's all every single person. Breathing that lives under a government is not wrong to say, I would vote to. Now all borsch, invest, not wrong best, your opinion. If that's how you feel fine. We all respect you. You are saying is don't give me a no answer because that's bullshit. He's an give you don't know fucking beat around this simplest. No, I respect anon- answer feeling the way I feel and it's nothing wrong with that. But honestly, overall the government I don't think they, they should have. They should have a right to tell those without, and I'm a woman, and I'm speaking from a woman point of view, not for all women. I fall on speaking, I am a girl. I want to know why is so bad that you want to chase us down not to have an abortion, but you does absolutely nothing for the man. I never heard a clip, Dan. Did law. I never heard of a lot. Why aren't we clipping digs? If you wanna stop baby clip, the dick, the dick steal can work with the dick being clip. And then you that's how you outlaw abortion just go and clip nickel. Dick's all because because their location was already tried. And it didn't go. So I mean sterilization, a lot of white. As in my community. I hear got clip Dixon, no have cheered by choice. That's the difference is the stereo stairwells out a week at a choice, and they don't know you ain't we all America loves oppress, women. That's what I'm saying. Man, have the choice to be sterilized. And then you woman hasn't choice whether or not to have the baby and now we're arguing about it. Yes. Why would we ever? Yeah. Every right. Woman is able to get about her body. She had to get from a man, then it's up to be taken away from me is, I just don't I, I personally do not. And I'm not attacking you, Chris if you like I'm attacking you, apologize because yes. I have the abortion get pregnant. I. At least maybe fuck you. Gary it'd be a coupon. When that you've ever knows campaigns y'all might be too young. But back in the day, he said he'd campaign with me and were pregnant. And I think the whole message was making me feel look like and feel like what women go through, but I actually as a little girl, I thought mean could get pregnant. So when I when I saw two gave me as gal who will carry that was always in the back of my head from that campaign, which bookmakers, honestly, yes. You've got the Snapchat filter on and he looks fucking. Yell crate, the pro-life people. Don't see it as a birth control issue, which is really kind of how you're framing Dion. They see it as a a life being ended. They see it as a murder issue. The, the problem. The problem is that there are two fundamental irreconcilable irreconcilable worldviews here that at the end of this podcast, we're not going to change each other's minds. We not we will not how, and so how do you that's part of the reason that I fucking hate this issue so much because it's so good for fundraising, and it's an, it's y'all. Jafar raise. I don't. But I think the ears, the groups on either side do fundraisers, and instead I got it instead of hold on. Let me like instead of finding the issues that would help children in the position that MS Pat was in like how many how, how do we do more for the foster care system. How do we make a Dopp shin easier? How do we how do we fix Tom fundraising on a portion? Exactly. Right. Okay. And on that we agree. And so if you look at the way that MS Pat grew up. What are the conditions that were contributed by the government that we supposedly control and other issues, we could come together around some of those things instead of having these fucking bullshit debates? We're never going to agree. It's not me. Told me you just told me that your view is you feel like someone's killing alive. Okay. But if if the parent has that, right? It is by child. It's her body. She has that, right? Have concern about how about giving me some money for the key that made the Craig may they made? I have a question. So do you believe in capital punishment? I don't we you mean meaning this should you put to put to death for having an abortion. I'm finding on net one. Now I'm still cool. I'm you know I use that I flip flop. Negoti. Because because let me say this is a cord into who you kill it to be honest with you. It ain't about black and white is more of the crime. Like, like they have so many black men in Hispanic means on death row and come to find out DNA release them. So that's why I'm calling. Because if you have, like if it's an old case, and you have a one percent prove it, then twenty nine thousand nine hundred and you ain't fucker ran a DNA something to get these people. I think the evidence should be looked at again befo you fried him. I'm one hundred percent against the death penalty. In all cases, there just should absolutely no. The government should not have the power doesn't make sense with you. You don't think the government have a right to in a light. I don't you think is okay for them? Tell me what to do. My that's still in the Boertien you kill them at Ford. Or you kill them at one day. I, I don't believe the government should exist. That's, that's the part of the. When is this Moby shooting they're about in the street and they're not doing that now? Am I hope because of the fact that there's a government really the more the more people you put together the crazier? They get y'all be quiet. Now. We're trying to solve abortion. God dip. The Seoul capital punishment abortion, the problem of government. Yes, we're going to do our. Is is like to see somebody like for olas ks. What a murder somebody years ago, especially when it's a black defendant, because, you know, backing those two we still get tree light ship. This thirst in search to evidence a little bit more before you just put his personal debt, one person that I did not give a fuck about it. I don't know if you remember this case because you to remember game member in LA. He was started Tim, so we had learned about them school. Yeah. He did it reform yourself. But, but that's that's supposed to be what the prison system is about reformation now punishment, punishment punishment. I was on a fist with to key because he ended up, you know. And I understand what you come from a bad light like when I was in Canada. They don't fucking kill you like they do over in America. You do the sheet fucking put you in jail and try to find out where why how can, we reform you make you a better person which I totally agree from day. But I mean if you I took it was I was count on offense was that when I didn't know if I want to kill him because he. He had done such good things, and I know what it is a come from a bag light. Now, when you get him up shoot, they whole got them family. I have no pity for them. Damning end this brothers. Yeah. That's. That was a super long trial. And at the end of the day, the American Justice system is supposed to be about the can't reform them. You came before you cannot reform, which you have to leave the ability for some if, if there was a mistake, the death penalty is so final. And if you look at, for instance, in Dallas, all of the death penalty cases where the men would never been put to death, because a racist as prosecutor in the sixties, and seventies was just putting black men on death row today, too. And now that you now that you have DNA evidence those guys are being exonerating and say, oh, sorry we didn't mean to kill them in one thousand nine hundred ninety all who have died over those forty years, because they didn't have DNA. I don't believe like, I'm a criminal Justice major. I do not believe in the death penalty death penalty was still ever it. You don't think the Menendez brothers? I believe. No, but, but this is the thing Canada's worst serial killer in all of their history Gat, like sixty five years in prison. Give people licenses give people longer sentences, but you need to look to, to reform people first. That's. What I think, why are you giving chance to fucking kill somebody like there's, I'm getting every, you're not gonna form one hundred percent of people saying, so. Because at this point in the criminal Justice system, you're not reforming anybody. Well, you're not trying to help you put was just as what is just go get that life back. And you punish the smoker for sixty five years, seventy. Hold on a month. Fuck been in jail. He ain't killin nobody, but he's fucking kitten, isn't diabetes. You never know he, he could get out of jail car accident so Karan ain't about is about circumstances about situation that motherfucker killing, nobody you probably want to jail when he was thirty six five thirty. If I'm not wrong ain't that ninety five ninety five year by the phone, Betty white raping you, that isn't impact. That's like a great show. Would you rather? Fuck me everybody white white. Okay, white. Sorry, chris. That's okay. Pants. Wow. Plus, you got money. Chris, the other. That's true. The will to my love Mina lovely Nubian a lover. The other part about the death penalty is that it's way more expensive for somebody to be put to death because of the amount of appeals, and the overworked criminal Justice system that prosecutors have to read defend these cases over and over. It's easier just to keep them in jail than to put them to death. And so there's more to keep them alive. Mowing, it costs more to eventually put them to death because of the continuous appeals. It's, it's cheaper to give them life in prison by tens of thousands of dollars. So they're really time about, what are we talking about money, because money, we can print but you're talking about time and effort that what you're talking when you're talking about makes more effort to kill them than it does right to keep them in jail sale for the rest of, and any any government. How many do they get? Well, they get to cocktail of two different like sodium. Chloride. Chloride. Would you kill them with I say, how many appeals do they get? Oh, appeals. I saw my apology kill you. I was like cutting. Is being you may know on the amount of appeals, they get, but you can retry but at the end of the day when you're talking about a government agency like a prosecutor's office or public defender's office, you're talking about a finite amount of resources with the government agency, and by continually taxing like the Marion county prosecutor's office here in Indianapolis to retry, these cases you're taking away. Manpower and time and energy from real cases like child, molesters and other shit that may need done. And then you're sucking up resources that those agencies need. Now, I'd argue that the entire criminal Justice system that we have set up right now is not to reform anybody. It's two warehouse. The bottom the socio economic bottom fifteen percent of society because we just well, we don't know what to do with you. So we'll put you in jail for drugs and for for petty crimes, and repeated defenses and put money off of, and that's exactly right now, he literally when I went to jail, you can make a phone call. We'll call and talk all fucking day on that call. Just don't hang up. Tell you family. I'm gonna go up and take a nap and foam out. You can't do this. She had no MO literally, it calls you. I don't know what it it. 'cause you but my brother can go through one hundred dollars a week. Commissary, my actually, my brother actually is all about money keeping. Bays one like the hospital if you let them on the fucking go home. You ain't gonna have no money, so you not making any money my brother, I spent ninety dollars on a very first Nanno APO ninety fuck, y'all know that thing only they make them no more. They must redo them and sell them sell them to them in jail is all about the fucking money. So this nigga NGO knee woulda ipod needless to motherfucking. Rick James better. I'm not ninety dollars Pat down. If you listen, if you're in jail, listen to the show. Write us a letter. So privatization, so they try to privatize anytime you privatize human lives. It gets bad. Like, for instance, there's a company that was. Private. They privatize the healthcare for prisoners, and it's a four profit company, of course. And so they have a monopoly on the service here in the state of Indiana. And so to give their shareholders what they need. They start cutting services and medicine and healthcare. Unlike start die. Yeah. And my friend, my friend. Woody, we did an episode on my podcast about his. I guess a fuck about you punk. About his about his dawn is kidding. She had a complicated blood disease, and she ended up, dying in prison because they didn't have the resources to take care of her because it's a private company that eventually got kicked out, but it took a ton of people dying here in the state of Indiana because a bad medical care. And so that's an it's not privatization in the free market since that Republicans say it is, it's a monopoly meant to give shareholders better return. And it's both all about money. How out of the cloak and dagger shitty right, though, is, you know, it'll be better if we're in charge. Because we'll trickle it down. Those mother never tickle. She don't trick. We pull his I'm Paul EUPOL. We know you pump triple fucking side window his call. Do up. I wanna come back mirror out a window drill down the legs to get. Gosh shows. I was going to get rent. Yes. Car, Robert meal, Cussing, I got home on it, but I'm too boozer to be round his mouth, fucking long. Now, you should be happy just to have a car. Thank you. I'm pro choice. I'm not. Dravid down. I'm driving down to Kentucky and as I'm driving. I hit a bump in my fucking thing. You use the block the sun. One of the screws hit me, right? Demo cars. Even let me tell you some. He going to have to live in Indianapolis forever, because he ever try to get that admission somewhere. They throw that they were road at motherfucker in, in down in that hole where you change the oil, it looks like pig pin from olive Brown drives down the road. I mean the why is it just literally got the why isn't duct tape hanging out? I'm like, what the fuck? No, no. He air is call eighty miles on the freeway. The lord. Remind me when I first started dating my first kid's father. He had a call like that. Fucking new ones you at the shake him to go. You had to take a piece of wood and clamp down. And that's what and. And he's taught you how to reach through the dope pan and push the one on one no roll nigger you had to read through the dope, pennant putting the wound up hold or motherfucking would. But the thing that got me the most was he had no floor as in it was rusted out. So we had a piece of wood and sometime like, sometimes you can put a man over or if a guy like if you clean on his car, your feet will fall clean. You be like the Flintstones a lot of time. You just wrote what your legs on the ragged. That's what should he have no heat? No AC couldn't use call us. So ranking in the wire was so bad no radio. So back in the day, the black votes told him being a boombox AKU Jan we had a we wear at one on the back seat. And I thought we boom in a call. All right. So now after hearing who you were dating I'm for abortions. Not appropriate with him. Single handedly changed qui, what Ashley? Poor. Ashley. Well. Keel, some subway lucky? You know what? But like if anybody in Alabama need an abortion, I'm willing to kick. Anybody down a flight? Fifteen easy dollars, and I'll kick you down, and make sure you stick. She don't mean this I am. You know, I told my mom in law. What's her name? I cannot say, mama. All because they marry they give me when they get married, then she'll be my once you've sister-in-law but for national mom. What I was. So if you got what you don't have a husband. Cheating on you now that you explain it. I completely understand what doesn't make sense. Smarter. But my baby mama lotto her when she was pregnant with my knees, I told her kick her down a flight, as she ain't listen to me. Don't grandbabies. I was. She she was a good situation. It used to be safe for legal. And now she's kicking women down the state not advocating abortion, just want to put that up. I'm not advocating for I'm not having. Away. Somebody's options. I'm just you. It can't it can't do. That's all I'm saying. And I'm saying, I'm for whatever you decide to do. I respect your choice, and I'm also a campaign clip, the newest campaign, we gotta start clipping these nuts ladies. So does she can stop going through holding up congress and weaning gotta Votto, just clip our out? We don't even well we won't his hood, dick. We don't even care about you have anybody ever cared about. You know I had a few young ladies than really cared about my nut. How young were they Chris killer? Twenty. Mean to me. This is not. I wanna know how does she care about you knows this. She put him in their velvety tongue this, Pat. Velvet on hotel. Which is I should've known better than to try picture. Velvety don't give her new verbs U S outta here. We park and you don't walk in here right now especially when he's talking. So this zone was. Zone was to apply. Disgusting. See I'm gonna cut that out because the white man, walks in the podcast. And all of a sudden you turn them into fuck trauma Chomo child molester that what you call them. So I've never heard of never heard that we call them chest molester. Chess masses, the molest. Yeah, we call them at to most of the most of the communists. And my name who was named Chester patent Oswald. What is it touches puzzle basement? We got to wrap we need to end the five minutes. This went to five minutes too goddamn long. Oh, I've enjoyed. Yeah. Make sure you check out my website. Ms pack coming dot com for all the great merch and outta dates where I'm going to be performing it, and get you tickets to come out of the same you'll have a good fucking time. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of the pet down. Make sure you check out my website at MS pack how many home for all of my social media. My tour dates my book, make sure you spread the word about my pug has please rate every veep. Please rate, a review share, thank you so much as pets.

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Episode 46: Buddhachuck

The Patdown with Ms. Pat

49:21 min | 1 year ago

Episode 46: Buddhachuck

"Oklahoma City get to life right because MS PAT is on the way our be their favorite at twenty six th through the twenty nineth at the loan in Oklahoma City. Ok See looney being comedy dot Com and get your tickets because bay. I'm coming to put it down there in three years. Get your tickets looney being Oklahoma City. I'm on my way favorite at twenty six. Th through the twenty nineth our Riley one on one of my favorite cities. I'm on my way back to Mugabe's Joke Housing Baltimore Maryland Marston. Fifty-seven get your tickets right now because I'm on my way and I'm telling you this shit is hotter than cupcakes out of a oven. Come on and watch me do this new our at Magoo B.'s. Joke HOUSE DOT COM. That's M. O. B Wa s J. O. K. E. H. O. U. S. DOT COM. Get your tickets. Hey It's white boy Chris if the pat-downs ever made you laugh. Then join our patriotic and support US get bonus content a t shirt or an autograph copy of Rabbit. Ms Pats autobiography visit. Miss Pat Comedy Dot Com for the link to the Patriot. And while you're there join our facebook group. Welcome to another episode of Pat Dan. This has been a real fucking day gassed. You had to spend it with him and I've been ugly with Dion like a pregnant mother fucker. So we've been talking about all kinds of things from Elizabeth Warren using her zero point one percent native American to shop day S is last night. Go in warm up. Ted Why dance up and this is exactly what she did and Bloomberg and other corner boxing. It out I think she kind of slapped him straight but he was not here. She's so he thought back to. I don't remember I think Joe Biden disappeared the fucking stage. He's all the way he ordered away. So after the music all the bullshit we went through and going through and Chris hanging out with me. Control spitting real fat. The Fat Guy. Same lines on real crime puts a lock going to spend other thing. He's playing signed up everything. No funds full apponaug at this. Tuck put. Hi Are you guys. So welcome to the PAT down. Yeah I'm pissed off that we make too 'cause you wind like a bitch all the time. Listen let's do this all the air. We're not doing that now. So Ms Patton Dion had some words before the show now. We're going to try and be funny so Chris. Did you hear about the the guy that went on tender date and they were the room? You'd feel the tension the tension. I'm over it. I'm literally elry. I'm not over. You gotta get over it now. It'll be tomorrow all right. We're all friends. It's all good so you guys know I've had my tired get Yahoo. Myspace helped me out. Today I spent the day driving around with Miss Pat. She already here. That actually was great. I've never I don't know how you do it. I would be exhausted you you. You are constantly moving so I met her at work. I lifted work. And then she. We drove from Bob and Tom. To Bob and Tom. I didn't get here. She said what did you say? Won't you see? Am I allowed to say no? You're not she said Negro Sandwich and the room was like when the guys you could Negro Sandwich or did she say yes N. Word said Negro. So she she they were trying they were putting mustard on a limited oreos. Because that's apparently talking to me regular orioles putting putting mustard on regular. Oreo mustard tastes pretty good. It was a New York. Times crossword puzzle clue was what what cookie do you put mustard on and the answer was Oreo and so they had mustard and so. Tom Looks at her and goes. What does it taste like goes Negro Sandwich and it was like an animal house walk in and it goes through the whole room. Oh I don't think negroes a bad word. I don't think so either I just. It was just an old word. It's an old old certificate. It might not be a bad word anymore university. I mean I'm not gonNA walk around saying it probably wouldn't recommend it. I don't think it's I think it's like an old. It's actually some people black people race. You GotTa hold the mic coach through your actually she's using her titties as Mike stay actually some black people race so I don't know what the it's sort of like African American seems like it's fallen out of parlance. I should have never gone to African Americans. It's been black right but I don't understand black because we're not black black. Is your shirt right and I only know. A few people look like that. Yeah there was a model who They just what do they bow? What is that woman's name? She was dubbed the blackest person alive and her skin was literally as black as your shirt. That's insane but she was pretty as hell. Yeah so we left there and then I went to saks fifth avenue for the first time and saw Gucci stores. You look like that was your first time too. I'm in there with my car. Heart's on and I'm just like the the Pants Jacket. I'm wearing I look like I'm Kim Jong Hyun Sun. Carl Hart is the Redneck Gucci. That's she's she's looking at like thousand dollar purses and that she walks to the five hundred dollar shoes and then she walks back over to the thousand dollar purses and then back over the shoes. And it's like we're ping pong back and forth. And so she's walking around with their big falcons thing and her Gucci bag and she's just talking talking talking and then she's got this little duckling following a little white. Knuckling suspicious at a place that the cop started hanging around us. I don't know if you notice that they look like there is suspicion of the two of them. That store had a lot of people running up in it. Still in Snatching GUCCI BAGS AND LOUIS VUITTON BAGS. So the lady said a couple of months ago where police? Solas US one storm-related authority let yesterday that corporate or with nine people in Chicago? Literally with Ski Masks came in spray sprayed the spray the The security guy and then grab Gucci Louis Vuitton. Because and I'm like you right there in front of why is ao? Why didn't you grab this shit too? It was easier. Why Saint don't look at the White Person? I von Saint Lauren. Something like that. It's a brand calls a YSL. Because Gary on US said you can't buy things you don't know how to know so bud St Lawrence Alaria so we're walking out at this pat like so I'm literally seen this. Pat Been around her since like adm today and it's five thirty six o'clock and she talks to everybody all day. She's yelled at least half a dozen people. Maybe a dozen she. She's yelled as one of them today. I was GONNA SAY WHY IS AL? What what is the name of? Ysl E Saint Laurent. Yes about that purse and I was looking for some shoes to match. And who are you looking like? You're giving into capitalism is ugly. I really hate to see it. I really hates us off. I I'm not about to fill. What are we? You're buying these luxury goods for no reason. We are middle-class. Cut It out. Get your life together. But that's not cute seriously by goal. That's not to invest your money doing money but real look we'd that's not what we went back and we went back for my gift card. Yeah so I got a gift card and I wanted to spend my gift card. But I couldn't find anything so I've been buying anything real problems. I can't find anything saks. Fifth Avenue Oh shaking Ma. Maybe they've got some. Nah You can find some showers millionaires. I don't I'm so sick of it. Give me back. This Libertarian Mike. I'm sorry she was just watching it. She's watching Bernie Sanders rail against capital rubbing her being what did you think about how? Keel last night. I'm sorry what are you get the other Mike? I gotta known who Elizabeth One drop the MIC on. My House. Looking at some of it she destroyed was nine Bloomberg. Blue Album macos ALPO. When she tell them I'm not talking about trump. She's she said what did you say? He says somebody calls women was she say duck face white women and I was like damn trump. Call your duck face bitch. And she's I'm not talking about Donald Trump. I'm talking about Bloomberg and Blue Earth. Said he was in a casket here standing up stuff like it was like a rat beep like she had like whole call backs and everything we were. I heard it was like the. Wwe I said. Did you get a rapper? Too right because it was? It was an Easter. You know what I'm saying. She came out like the annex. Yeah I watched it too. It was literally like they. Everybody's fighting amy and Pete going back at each other everybody on stage or it was Bloomberg Amy Elizabeth Warren Peach. And I think I really inhale Biden. Wasn't there Joe Biden. Was there was there in spirit necessarily. Why wasn't he there is? He didn't do anything he had. He actually had a pretty good debate because he was like. You guys are arguing about her. Forgetting the name of this guy. I've been the only one of the stages ever met with him like he did a good job of kind of tying himself back to Obama. Yeah he was a Obama. Doesn't he wasn't risky like everybody? His very frisky but then Obama endorsed Bloomberg Asada. No Bloomberg is running campaign videos like him hanging out with Obama and stuff like that to like science he is I mean. He is a honestly. Don't understand how he has any chance of winning. You reach re- of Political Science Mabel. Only the trump. That's what I thought. He is feeling billionaire. Yes along with better hair but then I realized it was friends. The only thing that matters in politics is name. Id and he knows that he can raise his name. I D to a point where he can be competitive which is working because he's rising in the polls he's now second so he's he's got a shot but the reality is he. He looked really bad last night. He got savaged on several different points. That just he didn't look good at all. He didn't look like he was up there with professional politicians and debaters and for the first half of the debate. They savaged him. They made terrible. They throughs on quotes back in. His face is flip flopping back in his face he can out spin. You like a second right. That's what I hate the most how much I should be a cap them on how much you can spend a real. I really feel like these people are just rich. And there's nothing else to do it as well fuck it. I got yes in money and bitches I WANNA BE President Right. Yeah because we put too much. We put too much faith and people with a lot of money. We think them to be smarter than the average Person Day. Dumber they come. Why don't you can tell the way Bloomberg got. I swear I thought. He was standing up in a casket last night with the look on his face he was getting. Slota and I was like you go. Elizabeth that zero point zero point zero percent native American came out to kick ass. And you got that little fucking Indian file gone around that White Man. Whoa Chop Chop motherfucker chop shop. Even I thought that was a little agreement. Gary A bad. I'm just saying to me was go. Cancel you talking about Republican. We'll talk about why is not my native. American came out mixed with a little black woman in Mexico and she was destroying mobile. I when I was listening to Elizabeth Warren is all I saw was a black bitch a Mexican beach who was fair with the Boola. She and she would you in and outside a little bit of native America. Say go girl and then I got really happy. Clint went off. Yeah it was. It was her being tough for the first time that I've seen I mean she was like Amy Klobuchar to like nature. Forget she was supposed to be poke on yes so Buddha judge was just an asshole. Rv Was a smarmy Dick last night. Nine lying about everybody and Amy Klobuchar was having none of it and just kept throwing that shit back in his face. Bernie I thought Bernie Look Really No. He reminded me A. There's this boy at my school has got picked on and he said I'm getting picked on because I'm gay and I was like No. You can pick them because you suck. Yeah that's how he is. He thinks people don't like him because he's gay. We don't like him actually garbage. High Tech Rick. We all right. So are you looking for a job? I got some good news for you. Baby according to Ziprecruiter research nearly seventy five percent of employees. Say they're finding it difficult to find open position. Sixty eight percent of the employees have raised their wages. Twenty three percent increased their benefits. You WanNa tell them about the other bar If you have a difficult role to fill no matter what your industry higher ziprecruiter now a you can try ziprecruiter for Free Ziprecruiter Dot com slash pat down. You are my baby. She said if you haven't a difficult role to feel no matter what your Industry Harwood Zip Recruiter Zip. Recruiter was seeing your job to over a merger top job sites but guess what maybe they don't stop there with the powerful matching technology anatomy powerful. 'cause ZIPRECRUITER got jobs. Ziprecruiter was gained thousands of resumes to find people with the right skills inexperienced for your job and actively invite them to apply and actively invite them to apply. That's how I got this job. You think he might real Mama. No I would on cuter about this job. I pay well to to fourteen Gary L. is my daughter. Y'All better stopping. I'm telling you now you better get zip recruiter. It is so effective four out of five employees WHO POSE ZIP RECRUITER. Get a quality candidate within the first day. Gary found a mom in the first day own zip recruiter. You can't beat that. I still know some people. That don't know what daddy at job. Try ZIPRECRUITER FOR FREE AS ZIPRECRUITER DOT COM SLASH. Pat Down Jolly spare that. 'cause y'all know have missing at worse that Zia P. R. E. C. R. U. T. E. R. dot com slash. The PAT down. Pat T. D. O. W. E. ZIPRECRUITER DOT com slash pat down. You can try for fruit and let me know when you find yourself a good job. It's the smartest way to hire. 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Is that when when he started kind of going back at Bernie and he dumped on them and basically goes America's the greatest country in the world with Ken? Capitalism's the best because our best socialist has three houses and like he he started Bernie seen rattled and upset. And I think it was a bad omen of Bernie were to get the nomination. I don't know that he'd be able to handle trump. But I think Elizabeth in a debate. I don't think Elizabeth I think Elizabeth Warren. Excuse me and Amy Klobuchar. Showed that like if they were under debate with trump and he tried to pull some bullshit they were the two that would be able to handle that. I also think that Elizabeth Ain't GonNa let that happen happen to Hillary. He's not going to be how looking at her. As stare her down. China Mug from tobacco. Fucking down Madonna weaned dumb and dumber. We think she's going to go for that she all. I really think that she will fucking handling. And how cool would it to see Hillary Roy and twice and never got it in the you just get you give it to fucking Elizabeth. I think Hillary will fly. Wait I hillary flies away. Fuck Hillary Hillary is the reason that Donald trump president because she was a shitty candidate. She she was arrogant and no he was a shitty candidate. If you look if you look at Mitt Romney's numbers Donald Trump's numbers. They're pretty much the same. You look at Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. She didn't have people she didn't have. Democrats show up to vote for her specifically what the DNC do all those tricks that year. Exactly and then. And then she cheats to win the Nomination Bernie out of the nomination and then he even knowing that goes out and supports her doesn't talk shit about her. Never says a bad word about her goes out and stumps for her and then she has the audacity two or three weeks ago to say that he did nothing to help her and he talked shit about her. Understand LIFE. D You babe something to you. Fuck Hillary Clinton is on no. Let me let me explain some burn about. Did he trying to get into heaven? He ain't trying to fight with his bit and put them scenes on him before he data extra thing he got to be judged for so burn it always be. His back is bid. He can't hold up his hair as what you get to leaguers on his shoulder holding up his fucking over his half fallen is is has crawls he's just trying to get to heaven right so he kept me down. He can't be I A- calling a woman account where he bat day now but it's more about Hillary Clinton just being a disloyal asshole. Somebody who she fucked over. Everybody knows you fucking Shit About Clinton. That's a staple right. Well she got a fuck over somebody her husband and Fokker. That's true so you. Do you think any of the candidates will pick any of the current candidates to be their VP. If I don't think so and I think they're going to want some balance because this crop of candidates with the exception of Amy Klobuchar are fairly left. Buddha Buddhist shock and the Buddha chuck could chuck wood Buddha Chuck and warned together. I in a nightmare. No I think what they're going to do is they'll pick some southern senator who's fairly liberal or they'll pick like who's the guy that beat. Roy Moore in Alabama or. They'll they'll want to try and balance it out to try it will be Romo. Yes so the reason that Donald doing away with no black again There no no no. I'm talking about I forget what his name is. The one in Alabama. He turned Republican. No my point is that they need somebody. Why Donald Trump picked Mike pence is because my Mike Pence was the only person then Democrat trying to say you need. Somebody Hillary Clinton. Did you gotta southern you know you need Interior Airport Ashley Gary on what the Gerda Black late I saw airflow warrant for meal. Stacey what s so you need. That's exact opposite no because Oh no you need dumb southern white men Democrat. That's what you need you need. You Need Joe Biden but with less sexual assault that it was it was funny at one point. When they were talking about Bloomberg's nondisclosure agreements and Biden was slamming them on his nondisclosure agreements about sexually harassing women and Biden goes and you know and not for nothing but Pete Buddha judge has nondisclosure agreements to and Buddha judge goes because I was protecting clients. Let's just be clear about that right now. And we were like yeah. We know it wasn't sexually harassing women. It was okay but he was. Thank your resume. No no he was. He was just as clients. He was trying to protect. He didn't want his client list out there. But if Gary on a let's say Gary on his vein of the Party let's say Bernie Sanders is is the wing there. There are lot of people in the Democratic Party especially over forty. Who are not going to be necessarily comfortable with Bernie. So he's going to have to pick somebody Barney because Bernie's socialist. He won't give everything away free. You know he wants to tax rich people in rich people like I don't want to the whole reason. Bloomberg is in the race. He's he heard what Elizabeth Warren was. But what Bernie Center for saying about taxation in he said no whole McChrystal arm coming. I absolutely Bloomberg l acid down and protect the res not me but particularly yet ho your crystal. I was younger. Who Your Crystal Bloomber? I was actually liking Bloomberg. A little bit silly. I heard that racist video pop out at me. I thought he was coming loose strong. I hadn't done my research and I said. Oh he ain't too. You know I always pick. Yeah Pick my candidate and what? They looked like why she picked bill. Clinton Bill Clinton Bob Dole be the ugliest motherfucker to run for president. Bob Dole look like a fucking dog booted. And he's still I'm Bob Booty Hole. Boo-ho his message. I Bob Buddha like Rica ads on a little fucking dollar deal curly tail at the bay. I was not vote. I was not wasting my vote on it as white man. He was like one of the first celebrities to endorse Viagra publicly. I remember that yeah. I remember when it first came out. Yeah because of his war injuries you know. That's why I always had the pen in his right hand so people wouldn't try and shake it because he was paralyzed from World War. Two in his hand like a cup holder. Let it go day. I was thinking norm MacDonald on Bob. Dole have you've never seen a go. Look up Bob. Dole in the real world is so funny so every day. They're just saying he go- up. Mr Don't change colors depending on his mood. Outta motherfucker too long. It started turn ran a red pen. He was GonNa stab you Bob Towards going. So what did he keep his arm? Like the Guy who died? What's his name moved out. Who Does what is on the view. John McCain yeah did keep his on like kind of like that yeah. It was stiff like Oh. What's the purpose of the pain? The pen was just because people would walk up to shake his hand and his right hand he he. He couldn't shake your hand so he just go grab his fears. Yeah fist-bump shake with the left hand. Yeah most left-hand presidential facts. Bob Dole invented the fist-bump. No he did it. No no no. No Bob Dole taught. Obama had a fist-bump. Well Bob Dole trying. I mean he was dead. He'd have a choice right. Obama did for chemicals. I mean fucking with every I was hoping there would be some dumb listener out there. Who'd fall for my bullshit? And she didn't I gary the mood. The mood was a joke to real. Bob Worries means things. You're spreading propaganda in comedy. You as I like and I'm saying thinking that's fucked up. They put different than this man. He had interleague kidnap agency. He chose to put the pin in his hand. He's not like a specialty up and say go. You're paying for today so don't shake your right hand. That's what I'm thinking. That's literally what I'm thinking the outfit Hugo you grab your fucking fuck bomb. Yeah happened at. Oh my God you ask. I'm sorry Bob Doty's Nigga got me thinking you booty I said you ask. I don't want to talk about his fucking war written on. He apparently like a really funny guy. Really Nice Guy. And he like they put out some book like try to ninety-six trying to humanize him about his humor and they tried everything up against Bill Clinton and it just didn't work because Ms Pat was like Play that I was when I was eighteen and he was really ugly. And so you know when you raise the black community. If you'RE GONNA look on other side they gotTa Blues. Bq right you know. What I'm saying my Momma Tau The cutest. Why do I saw on? Tv was victim. Numerous from the young and restless. Oh God Victims Ed Nice Moustache so fucking but he caroline magnum Pi Right. Tom selleck Tom Selling his name was. Then Victor Newman is. We're at night. He was on the titanic. He played the rich guy on the titanic. Okay I'm looking at him up. Yeah he was. Victim Narrows is husband. They win eight. We're roses not house. Oh do what? It's thick mustache on the top ten. I was so evident guy. That's victim. He looks like Bob Dole back in the day. Now go to earlier pitcher with victim he was. He still likes to only young and restless. Yeah he looked at him he looks like yeah. Look like Tom Selleck. So that was good looking white to me okay. Tall dark as I'll fucked up. He creepy and cross the in San and Van. It'd be like if this is his favorite. Podcast veterans like got all excited than anyone who was talking about him and then in the eighties when my mom used to watch a young resident? Oh Maga you literally could not talk at twelve thirty. When she came on the news went off to a young wrestling bowling beautiful As the world turns and I think it was guiding light. God saw my Mama literally side. It was priced. It started off with prices right so my momma will watch prices right right and she would literally she was so fucking good at all. She needed was a riot to fucking preser- 'cause she could guess those prize as she. I don't know if I was told Giannis but she'll be like oh it's a family tradition. Yeah so she guest. I want a new car. I want a new washing machine and we we want a new washing machine and we think machine comes on prices right and we never got a fucking Washington. She got what some more sadness and. I'm like this bitch is just watch. I thought she was really winning because she will win like well. You know how you bet and you can get so close in the win. A thousand dollars. She would fucking Tan up every fucking day. Have you have you seen that documentary about that? No they made a documentary. This guy went on the prices. They ended up banning him from the show because he cataloged all the prices for the longest time. They didn't change like the the gifts like every third show. It will be the same fucking list of Shit that you know. He mapped it all out and he went out there and he fucking started. He won Bo showcases. He got two thousand dollars. He won ten thousand dollars on the wheel. This man was killing the game. Just like your mom said he actually owned a show. How did they found he was? He was doing well because they saw him so many times and they started to look back at the table because he when people would guess he was shot. Ten thousand five hundred seventy two dollars and it would be free and he was doing some near where I can't win them over. I'm GonNa take you and just listen to my well because you have to wait in line to be part of the audience and talk to people you'd be like I'm really good at this. You know if you get picked listen to me. I'm I can help you. And so he did that a couple of times when people start listening to him he fucking. I think. The documentary still on Netflix. That's where I watched it cards or something. Wow that's awesome. But my mom was like that but she never went anywhere because we was poised but she knew the fucking prices right and he used newest case. You would get up in the morning. Washington news cry any. She'd do a little cry. Because my daddy left my dad's been going for like ten years. Which is still crying. My Stepdad win the fuck. Are you gonNA realize this Nigga it's GonNa go for a walk comeback? Eat Lunch. She she had a fucking which in one way so so. Candy Fago. Just whatever. We're you can't take you can do this. I WANNA cry one spot Nigga. My mental image of your mom is so sad that I imagined her. Like one of those little dogs look pitcher over. Never seen it. I just imagine her with A. Don't WanNa see her. I don't want it to ruin the picture. I HAVE IDO L. Let me see if I can hear her. Step Daddy my phone. Mine my picture of your mom in my mind is kind of like you know the run. Tell that guy you know Martin. They out here raping everybody. Oh she looks like that guy you. Yeah you pretty close I do I. I know keys. They are here raven everybody. God when the Gregory Brothers did the remix of that. I'm I put that on my iphone and played in a way or or what was. What was her name? Something Brown. She's like ain't nobody tavern. That got pneumonia teeth. Best Sheet a dentist. Say Come on down and get your grill fix. You'll be fucked up like Oh. Do you remember the really big voice guy in Cincinnati? He was like a homeless crackhead and then pulled up and I have five dollars. Yeah getting the job and got on drugs. Yeah. I can't find a pitcher. He he did he ever hear of beautiful voice but Anyway mom watched the young in wrestling and like I said the news. Kreil young Aristocrat beat then she wouldn't cry from twelve thirty two four o'clock because that's what the soap opera and my mom mama hated can't chancellor because she was fucking rich and she's a drinker. She's a drinker chancellor have you watched young alcohol really so she she reaches so she drunk everything out of Chris glaze and won't be able to quote bottle and a cigarette that up the ASS. White Bishop need to give me some of that motherfucker money so editor here just crazy. Yeah fucking Mommy's walk recipe cracker holding me back all day so a lot of that. It was the crap I would never cry but it was the she made. It seem like Kent Chessmen them was holding her back and as a kid. You can't put together up the as BS drinking her mother fucking look at them critically. Fuck you bitch. Is You take a suite of Fort? Colt forty five out of the fucking out of the court bottles and it can't smoke. Cigarettes were filled to fuck you. Bitch GonNa take off this nicotine and kill myself and she fucking hate. It can't Tesla because she was rich and she was white. I didn't know it was. I thought in these people looking at what the fuck they was doing right. So but that's what my mom will watch all day so you thought soap operas where reality. Tv Yeah I thought it was real. I was a fucking kid. 'cause my mom would literally go. Let me see what this bitch up today. It is so stinking as white bitch and I'm like you talk about. What are you watch her rich bits bits? She needed to send me some of that. Mother fucking mind like she can send them some money Biz. We're here watching close when I'll feet nine monkeys Nikolai black and decker. My sister were black and decorated name. Ramic in black and decker malls put the clothes in the TUB right and it was his oxygen. So I'm not about this mother fucking not only did she wash clothes with their. So called oxygen so you also via tie goes muskie. Despite you down you take this big boss. You scrubbed a scam off your title and put medicine on it. And that's it was the most gadoe country in humane way to fucking heal your keys. Mosquito Bites we'll go to the clinic and some other cream and that was the but back in the day they thought inventory goals. You hit the scrub the skiing every other day and put his mother fucking art. Minnow with Alex is so so oxen soap. Wash clothes whether you scrub the Tigers when you are you fucking wash dishes witty. You've probably not with the only soap that I ever seen. That how one could not mill. That's way like fo- fucking so we will. We will fill with close a washboard on and my mom like you bitches getting a you get ready to Qatar's bitchy you get and you get rid of. And then I'll start putting the soap in the Middle Ages Star skirt. Scrutiny is coming up so we just have a little bet you. That was the most fun. It was like a bubble bath. No Nick Work. No I mean beginning but no that was. We knew watching close so didn't get it going them and then you go to water. Did you take take a one at a time? When you take the boys and you just wash clothes on his robe will re real good name me and my sister and I thought she had never seen him before she gets one in. I get on we twist opposite. That's how we run the clothes out. And then we go outside and hang him out so damn mom random street one day and she sees wash and dry little bit in Washington. Dry are a bit of wash on the side of the road. She's like Oh my God bits. We gotta washing machines. We don't pick this up and put it in the back of a C O. So Electricity had been invented by this point. Is this was? Reagan was president. Fdr So she got his little washing machine so we get home. We had to fill it out water. It will go. Who am I going to have to drain? So we did the Washington part for us. I would take it out and we will fucking black and decker bits and put it online. What'd you do with? All the water in the washing machine would suck up close and never wrist either. I don't think it really is. I think the closeout ransom and then we scooped award. I would come and then we'll put the next lower in clean water out that slavery happening my God. Yeah that's what we did we hit. It's called me fat in third grade. I no longer feel that was traumatic. Well we knew well. We knew we had to wash clothes and put them on. Algae was black. I was Dick. We've got to start wrapping up. She was black and decker. And that's what we did. We did as key family. We would We would would wou by we. I told you by the time we will cook outside on a barbecue grill in front of the House and that was very embarrassing. That's when I really knew it was something wrong with this fucking warmer frying whole chicken on a barbecue grill. But I think the laundry was a wasn't bad as well. You know you don't really know what you know so bad down as I look back at my fucking kid I never had to be black and decker to be black but it will. You'll give them the decker so I saw a knocked the fuck out so I mean it was okay. It wasn't me to soap. Was very painful to take the mosquito bites to what is infant Taisho. Everyti- goals is When the mosquitoes bite you in and they get like really infected and a lot of children in in a in a lot of people get it but I- popey buzz ones. I saw with it like if you had in the woods hung. I never heard of you. Don't have mosquitoes up here. Mosquitos up here but not like landing pads down. Yeah yeah they they they push around down here like they don't give a fuck why they bite. You took those keys. They literally beat. Ramon four here and I said. How evil are you motherfucker? Mosquito BITE A NIGGA FOUR. Ainhoa skiing on the head right and so he had a big is not for biting him on the phone. So it's like when they get infected and then you when they bite you start scratching them as they get really infected from the dirty nails maybe using these really bad scarring so a lot of people on the south probably got a lot of calls. Like eight hundred seventy eighty babies. 'cause that's how you took care of them got it. Yes those luckily infection. It was nasty to have columbine lotion down and no date. My mom deal bath. Yeah my Momma. Did everything like Old Town. I think we talked about this before. Like if you Bazeley a Lotta time we use tide washing pilot. And that's why I'm allergic to tie really. And then you drop a little bleach in the water but of a Jonah. Don't have smale no no not even remotely safe. Everybody Baid with bleach when I was little all right. That explains the boomer generation. Let's be was just means everybody over. Forty is a little different yeah. Everybody put a cup full of bleach and water. And if you wanted to Jonah Titan you bays with vinegar vinegary Deuce Bay. I've heard that dish bank. You do you put it up the bag. You put it up vaginal bag okay. Do I grew up different. But you had bags for your dishes bitch so you put vinegar in their you clean out the inside view and it was opposed to make Jonah. Tight. It's no no I don't even have China and I know that was all wrong. Well yeah that was very wrong. I mean just walking around with motherfucking Saudi Pussy. You push his cucumbers onions and tomatoes pickles. Yeah they work cucumbers. I would say the country one time. My mom has some relatives in what was crazy. Is that we city bad three even though he was poor. But you don't realize I pull you to visit your poise relatives. So I dunno volatility store where one time we had just met them. Well I gotta go to Bedford. She's Oh the bucket in the kitchen and talking like what are you talking about? She's like go shit in the kitchen and makes you clean up by yourself. Take it out behind the woods. I like what though Dachau Kevin? Faulk did trait by shitting beside the ten year. Old pats poor is this. Oh Shit in your kitchen. You can't put an egg in the clouds ee. It's good logic. Honestly you're GONNA sit in the House through the closet so you didn't take the bucket elsewhere. You just share right there in the world. But you could move a bucket. I'm telling you lose momentum because all you can just take a sheet in the kids and I'm like what the fuck and she's a kids day was cooking later on bitch hours like D crate. I'm GONNA fucking throw a keep the ship bucket into kitchen. I guess once you finish and you dump it outside. Kitchen put some lysol cleaning eight. Hey dummy you don't want to get onto the carpet. This house brew running bathroom. I lead the run. It just needs to have a just put the bucket. I would live go all right. Sorry sure I thank God. She said I couldn't see it. So I just had to go pee in the buck gave as you clean the mind. You're thinking bitch go out there and thought I didn't lose them like in the woods already. Then we'll just skip the bucket and go pin you. Well at least you something to put your hands onto the rail. This is why we won the war. God Yeah I did that when I was a little kid you like. I say you don't know you pour into you fucking grow up in you. See other people with night. She'd be like Oh fog. I got fucked up live so ms Pat. What another craziest or as always info tie goals and shitting in buckets or make you humble. Put earning as what probably never cheated on a buggy and put their whole ring around. You know I've never done anything that didn't require door plumbing. I heard a funny story last night. I know we gotta go. And so I'm sitting at open mic talking to this guy and he would say he said he was a lawyer and I said okay he said I want to be a comedian. I said well you doing the right thing by coming to watch. He's got all of these stories. All what is your story. He say one time he he's clients on Nethon. Were lots in a fucking lawyer. And we're talking about. He's it so he was represented wife in a divorce and other guy was represent the divorce and they went to court and then wife ex for the House. So the husband say woodhouse is inhumane is not livable and adjusted. What do you mean is inhumane? And not a little boy. He's in because I took every one of their bitch toilets mikey's can live in a house without a toilet. Wow that's of level of hatred that I'm going to give her those fucking toilet bank so those kids can have something to sit down and they got a divorce is wild heart is a fucking toilet up. You know how hateful you got to be to take your kids toilet out the house. Yeah well get divorced. You'll trust personally. All you gotta do is stuff that whole up. So does Kim. Fuck you up. And when you're ready to she just then over the whole in position in the whole as all you gotta do. So that's been another episode of the PAT down. We appreciate you fucking logging. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of the PAT down. Make sure you check out my website at Ms Pack. How many dot com for all of my social media? My tour dates my book. Make sure you spread the word about my podcast. Please Rate Area. Veep beep please. Rate A review share Seca so much alabi Ms Pat.

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Episode 64: Bubba and Baby Tupac

The Patdown with Ms. Pat

41:36 min | 8 months ago

Episode 64: Bubba and Baby Tupac

"Starving. Thank you for listening to the Star Burns Audio podcast network. We have so many great comedy shows to add to your playlist just last week on starbucks audio on Dumb Gay Politics Julian Brandy talked to Senate candidate. Charles Booker about his moving viral video and how his to unseat mixed. McConnell could actually be the thing that makes America the land of opportunity for everyone. This week on boogie monster cow Canadian Dave Stone are talking comedy, creeps, cops and barbecue on that black ash show celebrity drag Queen Monique, heart joins stole Sloan to talk about being a black drag queen in Hollywood and checking in on all things, black excellence search star Burns audio on apple podcasts, spotify or any podcast platform for a full list of our shows, featuring hosts like the sklar brothers, man deals and Paula poundstone. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and twitter at starbucks audio now enjoy the show and remember stay safe. Stay healthy and keep laughing. Hey, it's white boy Chris pat-downs ever made you laugh, then join our patriotic and support. US get bonus content, a t shirt, or an autograph copy of Rabbit Ms Pats Autobiography Visit Miss Pat Comedy Dot Com for the link to the Patriot, and while you're there, join our facebook group welcome to another episode of the PAT down. I'm sitting here with deal and increasing we talking about. A, Willie Dry Way Willie. I got robbed allowed him nigger raw may. They ain't shit down south. From. The. Real facts. Of the? Same! Play. Same Lines. Politic, zebulon real prime equal. Four. Going to spend. The way it's. Now. Playing. Fun We'll. Listen Alpha. Tuck cute. tweeted. beat. Over. Me I took a trip to Atlanta. My is robbed. What. Yeah Guy Rob so I was telling my friend I was like you know what I really miss it now I say I. Say you just missed a ghetto? She didn't go right no. I would like to be robbed. Literally I wouldn't allow, and they fucking robbed always on time. was saying he has a joke. You know you WANNA see Nigga. She and you don't get stupid shit. People fighting in history. People. A met this hotel have no desire to see you this shit. Keeps Jombal and I like I. Like being around. People so human cockfighting. So I'll check into this hotel and I should have known time I checked into it. It was the. Notice Western. The embassy suite by the Atlanta airport. They're them nigger. Set you up, they're. Not Stayed Out, so go and checking and I should've known where did that. It was some boost. She couldn't the cash her. We was pulled back too far. She had apart from her nose. To tobacco. Busy if you don't put some hydraulic zone, we'd laid it down on your head the right way. You Bet wiggle low rider. Back like he was a low rider. So she had only? Shoes so I know right now when they got ever sues. No no focus shoes on shirts. No shoes. I'm not giving you service so. I took it out to. Her. So. Check this shit out. I check into the role May and June. and asked. Time I walk into the room. y'All blow it on the wall like what is dull, hail what? Is, this so I called as a a yoga. You need to get muffler low blood. You! Did they stab on? It was on a while going through a debate room like the NIGGA. Whoever got spam headed? Grab onto. So Housekeeping Nutsy, this fucking blow it, so she coming in all I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry only got rooms on a really really tough roster. Now we're to go and clean this motherfucker, so I take my mother fucking Weiss and I cleaned the whole fucking room, she she. gasped me with Lysol to afford covert. But. She's cleaning up some pathogen. They'll. Clean up the blood, I just wipe down the whole room of sanitary white, so I'm Dr by two nights in choosing my well, you needed breakfast ticket for breakfast and burqas. FUCKING HORB so I ended up going. Eat It. Quick trip, some gas stations and give them a call for them by the third night. I'm in now. I would come four. O'clock I'm talking to my non phone. All your she so I'll tell you my somebody go out here five thirty in morning. Get a cup of coffee. Neagh on, not my motherfucking. Wonder how my Runako don't acid. Oh my mother fucking! Essay. Why Yelstin Me Shit in his mother, fucking call. So then I say. Oh. My God Jimbo, mother, fucking Lovato and slippers in their allow lot forty. New Stall mcglasson. Motherfucker fucking shoes K. have nothing real. See Picture. Long Cabinet Jomaa. You have less. Of A. Tell us. He's yes. Oh, I can't a more shoes, Mon! How about can I can't afford it I cannot fucking and they lie. So. So we got get the security the police we call the police as Goddamn Poland they don't brought him. My mother fucking call so no me. Jimbo said now. It no-one. PD's working. The police walk to to sing. Lewis. Bush! I must say. Police. He said Yes, what Fuck your call I? I no savary. Now you? Can put in uniform bathroom. Like the pursuit of happiness. Live. Abe. Oh Federal. You know he won't do. She drank quick trip covering. Eat Doda. Me So he walked right acidy need. For car style muggy thousand miles. You still black, our Capri extra hundred. They're pistol, so I'm cousin. Do because I told him I leave fucker shoes. We right across from hood so to police ma'am. This happened around five thirty I'm not of fuck. You know he's over. They called US and tossing and y'all didn't connect on. Slept through the fucking robbery, so he said well Ma'am this. She have every night. It is like y'all ain't. Cheese. So dishonest started come on. That's why he didn't dry. Staying there. Was Not a security guy. He's a real fucking police out. So No. Liau College Poli as well so long story short song come on Nigga. Everybody calls broken in. His came out you saw was shattered glass. Every wasn't what an adult here folks lady come up I had out these new military people whatever they call when you first join, the military is all standing. They fucked autumn soldiers car so longer. Okay, myself plus a nickel. They only know how to stealing the fucking gun all fucking gun. But what parts I understand is rubber at out. They got on these nego sunroof and proud, proudly sunroof open I'm like you could have broken wondering like know my call. You Dumb motherfucker. They literally proud his son. RUFA PAU and couldn't get on. A volunteer broke the fuck. With some dumb keys, one man, so this is a this is a topper. So Buddy's time I'm a bitch and my car being broken into and Duma finally found out that they didn't steal moshing. They stole his shooting. No now sudden. She's not upset. I'm upset about the one do so. Turn the when you have insurance on the car. No I have my insurance not covered a little one because it was like three hundred dollars, but I wouldn't. The next car I would never call in Atlanta game without full coverage insurance, so then is black man. Come on. He said what happened I. Myself I broken by cousy y'all niggers Guy He. Looked at his Co., she fled I got to I said Nigga. Ain't nobody flagging your mother fucking time. Made a police. Right up a police report to my. He got he. Got No rubber on it beach, maybe tie. It was heartbroken watching the. Not Good enough once again. Given up, I could not believe. They broke into my Rona call so. Ladies were Ma'am I. Give Two nights free as Bitchy can't give me nothing. That's what. I'm getting the fuck about here and I wasn't even sears about leaving, but I looked and do bucket picked up I'll I'll hand fuck you. We're go on wife meal. Suburban you scared motherfucker. They still brand new shoes just bought air force one on eighty dollars out doing. Knock on an accident you, can they how? Can Get out of bed and lot motherfucker Bay as a decent, Steuben of fog will come to find out hotel. You get broken into all the fucking time. Chicago asked me you WANNA come to Atlanta with me like fuck no! LANNA is I'm from Saudi is wow is like watching the news. Now, the news which really see I mean they. They just show you one part, but it's like it's like everybody is hungry down near. Everybody got say his everybody got. Everybody cracking everybody as They don't have zones for foolishness. Annapolis, we gotTA foolishness zone easily. Foolishness happens over there necessarily keys to everything every every other place you'd be I you go to the East You risk your Atlanta, his foolishness everywhere. Every and I can't handle that I just I can't handle that I need my foolishness places so. You don't go near Crown Hill and you don't go in that ten block radius at thirty fourth and keystone everywhere else. You're totally new. But if you in area, you know as some share by Papa, right and Atlanta's not like that at all I remember to the ball that fucking crazy lady was going off on a security guard till he pushed her down, and she got up and just walked out like maybe I should call them the fuck. What is happening? Well, that's. A West, the imam anything they jump off a net Mungo. My friends own eyebrows your shopping there. One day age shot the fucking. The money man who pick up the money shot his head and Tobago. Debating security wasn't brings was another one, but. It was coming out of Mexico like the Dallas Stars who the Fuck Rodney coming out of the Dallas though? People. Say I'll give you one. Is it that it's hot, is it I? Don't know, but it's like I did not just the first time I've been to Atlanta what it is, they don't zone off. That's the problem. Better K. Yeah, crazy! Nobody says John pushed everybody just one look like. Oh, you crazy! Fuck is fine. Go crazy for be crazy over there. They just let that Shit. Go wherever you was I can tell you this. That was the first time I've been allowed. And I did not feel safe like literally I had a lot of work done on my run house and I had to go get cash because nobody rice cakes anymore and I was dealing with the Mexicans. Who could under tree? They're like cash if you've got cash if you got it so. As, we made together. Be Dead, but he's like. That's all he knew was cash so. The bank account. What. Would, you to set i. don't like Baker Accounts. In Spanish. Oh, well I don't know if they liked bank account but Carolina Gash. Okay! They sound like the man on Fantasy Island Ally, Cash biles. And so I had to go get them cares to get I got some trees cut down and so I was like very fucking scared to the point where I was thinking the money all the way up my vagina like a fucking. Tampon because I was like nobody wants money. I Want my money I'll take it I don't her web. Checks ex. Fix Money Laundering. Since breaking bad. I remember when I used to crack I used to keep it in my underwear and some days it did not feel. Some days would I crack Abloh. I need to. Who cut this? will be a little baby. They'd be wearing. They will be staying take. This. Day Boys put everything my underwear. It was many people that smoke crack overdraw. What do. The backstory so much worse. No FDA on this. It was FDA of. APPRO- FISHY dickey! Gosh. Do not feel safe, because just like the news is crazy or you've been on like. Why didn't you feel safe I? Think I just been here too long. You let your guard down. Allowing man you be looking over. Your shoulders is like you know like. Walking around. I felt really uncomfortable walking around with light. name-brand cell phone. You Cause Martha US take your sheet. Mobile will literally take Shit but in tell myself well on black can always think it's fake anyway, so imagine it's felt very fucking uncomfortable the blue. Not One time did I feel comfortable? And I'm always looking over my shoulders. KAZEEM UVA crazy down there. So we just posted a Patriot episode with TV shows by the way, so join the patron to hear that. You were talking in that episode about how you wanted to move from here and go back to Atlanta. You're tired of white people. You wanted to go back to where their culture were. There was culture like. Do you feel that way now? Two weeks later after having spent a couple of weeks down there, I think it will need to move around more white. With a few black people frequently maybe Marietta. Maybe piece. I need to go to. Our black people scavenges ride at night. They they scare the shit out of him of a craze Landau they. You just saw people fighting in the street and she is just I think he's just too many people to update his corona vars have made all of those fuck impair. No, you know we at the point of staying in house with the same person and people need to cheat can't cheat because you get the same od. Native prayers of don't work of his ice cold. We need to get out. Confession to over. The Coronavirus I was really fucked up. His Atlanta was like that before. Marla what's pussies it's. Didn't want to catch the virus. Alan he got. Do you not understand so she disciplines. Say. He's Bank Tar. Remind me a three's company when we'RE LANDLORD THEY WANNA fuck. Soon? Knock on. My. On my door, do you? Them Pussy you're? Not at all. I'd actually sometimes as your mammoth at math from three company you don't want me to. What are you talking about? I, said that while you sleep every night. Like? He got any weed Europe's that he and I think he'd be then on, so wait you way. He's got what trips we drew. Let the. We dress? Somebody sent me we. What do they look like? They lie drops dropping. You may be the oil. It's not like a knockoff, candy or something. Yeah, we drift, so he takes that night to relate. Are you tired of steak? Drop this. A buddy turned out like a motherfucker. 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We Rais Khan's pick up a pair, and see what the hype is all about Nasr Time to get the latest and the greatest from raker get fifty percents off your order, a Bat Raycatena Dot com slash pat down. Let me say that again. Fifty percent off y'all A. B. U.. R. A. C. O. N. DOT COM SLASH PET- down for fifteen percents off your rate, Con Wireless Air, both you can thank me later by RECON DOT com, slash pat down. I know you can call me no. More Day. By the way actually looks phenomenal, you really do. I haven't seen her in like three weeks, Falker. She's lost like how how much have you lost overall nine fifty pounds? Your glasses look great the Thank you Chris Young new. Glasgow she he could see the walls. The model was from elementary school, wasn't he? Not Quite but close. The biggest is the great after you. Who that was a long. I'm surprised at glasses. Didn't fall like started to light. Just disappear these these are. They got that new coating that you can put on the anti-glare coating which was like an extra? You just had no glasses. I'm talk. That's been around for a long, so they tent they ten when go from light to dark. Glasses do that, did no they not everybody's. Yeah that's why they stolen so much. So I gotTA. Tell you is so many I mean I mean Walmart here, my neighborhood and when I go. I don't put on makeup no week. No Bra because I fucking hate abroad and so I'm in Walmart running their rear quicken graphs and she didn't come back out, so look around is little black. Due following me I'm like. He by to get his ass well. 'cause I'm thinking you know right now. They just grabbing people in Lynch lynching our that's one reason. Why lose weight because if you grab me motherfucker some, you want to put me on a oak tree because it ain't GonNa work so. I mean I don't know who they got. Traffic and people. Kidnapping people I don't fuck. You know I look at Ed. Kid Is. Kidnap Holly Hill, academics or Miss. Bet Nicole is you do it I need somebody grabbed the. motherfucker. Walk at Walmart right and this guy. Just keep following me, so we own a chip out a about to say nigger. Would you follow me, so he said Hey I say hey, he's. Are you miss a? Fuck you. I'm a big Fan I heard your. Your podcast. What Nigga you could have said that, too. I'm figuring out. What the fuck in your face. So chips? Yeah, I'm like what the for because I seen I caught his eye and I knew as either no me. He secured. They come back to steal, but. It never occurred to her that she's famous. Now, he's such a good fan I. Don't tell nobody you see me my week off my plate hanging out. Soon drugged him with some drugs. So I'm at a post office day talking sheep, just talking match she. They learned a common name when I go in there so I go, and he said. Fuck you. That's a lot I. put my hand on makeup I got I got to get into this pretty sheet. I'll put on a bra and makeup him. Shave Ain, shade and so long. Didn't say wait here. We know we know you see you, TMI Nigga. Fuck! You I shame. Gosh, my kids. was just a drone strike Joe. Sounds getting them. Look Gray House down. They'd be. Don't WanNa, come. She had them. They've got to get the hammer get. Little grabby to get. My husband are like we don't tell me a lot Nick Junior. Your husband like your beard. So we talk them I'd do it on the Knicks. Now do par to my spirit's from being allowed. It was so fucking crazy. It was so, but you know the good part is. I started doing stuff to my house 'cause I had to driveway dunks trees canal now. My prowse pressure wash. You need to tell a story about the first driveway man that she was going. Was a phone and. I I. DO I guess this is going to go along so I do I'll doing different estimates and my thing is you know right now? Black people black lives matter black business black business so I said okay I gotta get a black man a chain. They're always worked at, but you'd be trying to get you. People fucking Jay. Black Dude named Mr Wheeler one he sounds like. A black dude from court. He sounds like he looked just like that Nigga. So I never get to me, so I said Hey. I'm calling about Madrid, Wayne? Gave me a price. He said we'll just talk about nearly. Around he'll protests sheet. As would. You missed a willie? Just thought. At the quota, Madrid worth stupid ethnic. Hey, how you? That's how you want to do. It is a better way to do it as Mr Willy how to fuck you all? This data found myself an argument with this man. That's a whole nigger. I'm trying to some busy. You'll fuck it for yourself. Fine! Matt. Didn't even paid. Job Yeah he already arguing. About I. Don't think they should be doing it like. I said Mr winning what the? No you. The Fuck is wrong with you black nigger. Ask you ain't fucking. Ole Essay marching. She total was. She told her I don't even know us like well. You'll get to know me, but I do, too. I was so pissed. I mean Eh. It was my first phone call. And we start of no black lives matter he black. y'All so stupid. Stupid News I'm like what the fuck. Are you trying to give you a job? Chris Hours I was laughing so hard, but I couldn't be loud because speaker in. House, I see a CD anyway. You can't support this. She was trying to go through a black business I was like I were. Neagle, because literally me and him, arguing over Black Lab Madison about twenty minutes, and every time I called him back to say something like about the job when I thought I'd give it to. Get shot wouldn't stay acid house. You wouldn't get shot I, said what the Fuck is wrong with you, oh COONASS. So long story short I couldn't deal Mr Wind. I could not do. I wanted to give the will of money, but I couldn't. So and you know what's on my friend. Who is just too fucking ha any I. Try I. TRY TO NICHOLS ON. The white man and white man came in a lot cheaper and he did. A good job became Mexican crew. He won't talk no bladder Shit Oh. He won't do back home tab dry driveway. He didn't say Muslim thanksgiving. was also de cheapest, and he was the only one that had a concrete contrary. Everybody knows wanted me about my own country when you get to dry ways when you deal with concrete. Let me say to you guys. You need to realize if they're real concrete people to have something concrete contrary, the concrete people got a concrete country gives us it a lot cheaper from the regular Nigga. You spell it with the K. Dome By. A. Mark Creek. Off driveways Matt. A fucking. Fun KKK gone. Congress we go. All. Right, I'm just saying if it's spelled with a K. Dome by it. Fuck you with you. Know concrete so to. Get that warded concrete is. I paid one hundred fifteen dollars a year, but if you go through somebody who don't have a concrete. It was seek five dollars. Yeah, so of course I was going to meet the White Man, and he did a really good job Outta have to with him like I did Mr Willy and I had to put up Mr Willy Bushy commits one English tab, or he just wanted to let him driveway then he got small me and cost me before I even gave him the fucking. Old as sound light motherfucker Harriet Tubman. The deepest fucking voice. A, Harry took me what a D. cussing. Got fucking job. It's fuck. You Miss Wilma going on over here to Louis. Louis did a good job. It looked great. Look really good. A Ada Louisville because I cost Louis. A is out. Jam I met Louis like Louis Concrete Man, a Lotta call his. His name is concrete comedies. Is just. Right, Right, adjust right or some shit. Knows get right Oh. Let me see Louis. Louis did a good job. He had me cracking up and do we say Armstrong. Louisa is be on. Math is act. You know why people say they gotTA struggle I was on my son did for the first time a and other son Jeff Twenty like God damn. Lewis I'd know. What he told me this, she got the job. I was like God Damn Louis out as I. You sound. Get on methods as He win. Would a strip way first time in a? ACID. Yeah, you sure Louie do that, is I. Think this group pausing your son. So Dowell Louis problem was when he was a nice guy. Jail she's looking for that. I came in I go. Hey, we post that bonus episode. Where that that? Drop that kit off when you were eleven. She goes. That may be turned out to be a stripper. Yup No. That's all right. Have you listened to the bone episode? Adele them at the end of the podcast that when I was by. Nothing. Like when I was like ten eleven, my friend from school I'm pregnant at the time, but was i. don't remember but. In a way, she asked me to keep her baby and when I kept her baby, she never came. Don't tell anymore. Let people go. Yeah, so they didn't believe me and I remember this year, but I remember classmate who found a baby that I gave I had to get a baby to the police 'cause bishop, going by two three growing. Up But I. I I know I needed shots I. fucking baby deer. You'll get el-gamaa fuck about you, but I will tell Chris that I found out at the after they left I. Call My friend verify that my friend classmate really left me with the baby I gave a paper to the police. And I find the baby turned out to be a scruple and I'm like that my baby scruple. Definitely nuts. No, no, Gary On. For its Momma. They say lady who adopted the baby that I gave to the police. Wanted to thank me for giving her to the police. But I wanted to thank you, yeah! Wouldn't you? Your mom left you just some random eleven-year-old. Yes thank you. Lady with some money adopted her any. She turned out to be a scruple. There's not wrong with being a stripper. You know it's the professional. That's right well fashion. What Gong. Profession, you right yeah, just think I just think it'd be a scruple. You gotta be really wet in the middle of the slide down the pole. This shit all right. Emma marrone. A screwball nickel. I know, we heard about your crack. Name be pay. For that. Nothing says. Naxi like pins. So people like all beaches. They went out Hutch it. In their face. I shouldn't be doing that. You'd be fill out. Episode, thank you to make any sound bitches crazy. Thank y'all so much for tuning into another episode of Pat Down. You. Check out my website at Ms Pack Comedy Dot Com for all of my social media. My tour dates my book. Make sure you spread the word about my dog has please rate every beep. Please rate a review a share. So Much Alabi MS, Pat?

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