20 Episode results for "Mike Carruthers"

SYSK Choice: How to Age Better & Successful Leadership for You and Others

Something You Should Know

43:17 min | 10 months ago

SYSK Choice: How to Age Better & Successful Leadership for You and Others

"Today on something you should know you waste a lot of time on email more than you think. So I've got some ways to cut down on all that wasted time also want to look younger. Scientists who study aging have a message if people only knew how little they have have to do to affect major change in the way they're going to age years and decades from now also we all have the ability to be a leader. It's not just just about being the boss or having power. What makes a great leader? I'm talking about your ability as a person to do two things really well. How well you as an individual individual influence outcome and inspire others right? That's what I'm talking about and whether you can barely boil water or you're a gourmet cook. I've got some kitchen secrets that will transform your cooking all this today on something you should know. 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You can decide when and how often you want to host. So it's perfect for every schedule and lifestyle visit AIRBNB DOT com slash host post to learn more how to turn your extra space into extra cash AIRBNB DOT com slash host. Something you should know fascinating Intel the world's top experts and practical advice. You can use in your life today. Something he should now. Mike carruthers others N.. Welcome to our weekend episode of something you should know and I want to start today by talking about email because you probably league spend a lotta time on email probably wasted time with email. So here's some advice expert advice that will help you cut down on the amount of time you spend on email and it's from a guy named James Hamlyn from the Atlantic Dot Com and he claims these things helped him cut down on the time he spent on email in half and I eliminate the sign off. There's no need to write. You know sincerely best cheers or any. Oh the other farewells. There's no need for it and you can even skip your name in some cases because the email address makes it pretty clear who the email is from so it's somewhat redundant to sign the email it's really kind of a holdover from the handwritten note or the handwritten letter same anything with greeting. You don't really need to say deere Bob because you sent the email to Bob. and Bob's the only got the email and so you could eliminate that is well. Three sentences or fewer is his advice. The crux of any email usually doesn't need more than three sentences. If you're sending is more than three sentences you should probably consider calling the person instead. Check your email only two or three times a day. I don't know if I could do that but he says it's not that hard. And in fact the average American worker wastes thirty seconds every free time. They check their inbox. So if you think about all the Times you check your inbox in a day. Multiply that by thirty seconds and you'll see how many minutes a day you're really wasting. Think he says even if you think your job doesn't allow you to check your inbox that infrequently give it a try or cut down at least some but if you you give it a try. He says you'll be surprised how easy it is to get used to in time. And that is something you should know since aging is inevitable. You'd probably like to at least do it. Well but how much control do you have over how you age. Maybe you think it's the genetic or maybe you think you have to live by some strict set of rules to slow down the aging process. Well Margaret Pressler is a reporter for the Washington Post and she decided to really dive into this subject. The results of her research are in her book called cheap the clock and I think you'll be surprised. And and maybe encouraged by what she discovered about. How much control we have over? How we individually age so Margaret? It's kind of interesting interesting. Explain why you decided to investigate this in the first place Very quickly this actually came from personal experience. I am married to a man who is seventeen years older than me and he looks the same age as me it is. He is one of these people who just doesn't age and I am a reporter for the Washington Post so I took that as do as an opportunity to go ask top experts. Why does my husband looked like this? And what explains that. I fully explained expected that they would come back and say it was genetics and and every one of them came back and said it's not an that's what he does and I've always been interested in health and nutrition and this started a couple of years of of looking at all of the science on aging and and I just found incredible information that people really could benefit from. Well it's it's always kind of fascinated me with first time at fascinated me was going to high school reunions and seeing time is so kind to some people seemingly and so cruel to other the people but your point is perhaps. It's not just time. It's it's what goes on in that time. Oh there's no question and one of the best ways to look at that as studies that have been don in Scandinavia. They do a great job of tracking twins. They keep a twin registry. And there've been lots of research studies done tracking those twins especially identical article twins identical twins born the same the same genetic imprint of the same household but if they were then grew up to live very different lifestyles Food Food Exercise Sleep stress us. He dramatically different outcomes in identical twins. Even so it's not just luck of the draw. It's it's it's what you do and isn't it. Isn't it basically true though that it's it's kind of what everyone's heard that. If you lead a healthy life eat right. Exercise is that that's basically the prescription or is it more than that. You know there's no question you know the old mom's advice good advice. I think what's different about what I've got in the book. Is that what what science has really discovered. Because there's so much more technology going into the studying of aging now in the processes that go into into into their participating in the process of ageing scientists. Really understand how it's happening at the cellular level. They're on they really know now. Okay these are the things inside your body that are causing causing aging that that we think of outwardly as the the things that we see aging wrinkles or dementia later in life or whatever it may be and and what is really now clear is how these processes start when we're very young in an invisible way inside ourselves and that even those processes he's those infinitesimal. Prophecies are affected by even very small decisions. We make day in and day out throughout our lives. So the hopeful message here is is that yeah you yes eating well. All of that stuff is good. But you don't have to do as much as people think. Oh that's good news. Yes it is good news and that is this comes that is straight from science. And I don't think I spoke to a single aging researcher who didn't say with some sense of frustration if if people only knew how little they have to do to affect major change in the way they're going to age years and decades from now so specifically weekly what okay so for example if you WANNA look at nutritionist is obviously the low hanging. Fruit nutrition is great. But it doesn't mean you need to overhaul your diet. There certain things that you can do just on a daily basis that are easy and and I'm talking about starting by eating one more serving of fruit a day. The the government says eat five servings of fruits and vegetables a day. A lot of people don't even get close to that. Does that mean that you shouldn't even try like if you know you're not gonna eat five servings of fruits and vegetables should you not not even try no in fact just eating one or two apples. A day can have a huge impact on your blood pressure. There are chemicals phytochemicals michaels in fruits and vegetables. That have a very positive effect on ourselves. They help reduce oxidative stress. which we've all heard of free radicals But but if you're getting these particular chemicals in your from plants phytochemicals. I'M GONNA use that word because they are really healthy chemicals that as a species. She's we developed over the Millennia eating these kinds of foods and our body adapted to To use those chemicals in a beneficial way an apples for example have apples. Watermelon is another one that have a very beneficial phytochemicals in them that affect the The supplements of your cardiovascular system so in addition to diet what else is there okay. So there's obviously exercise but again you don't need to go join the gym and you don't need to look hot. In a bikini you can affect a big change in the way you age with just a little bit of exercise is and the the magic number is ten minutes a day and just about anybody can do a ten minute walk a day. Don't you think yeah. That's ten minutes is not not that long and the difference in when they look at at epidemiological studies long term studies following populations the difference between people who have just walked doc ten minutes a day versus people who haven't is dramatic in terms of of the strength and dementia and Overall illness death from all causes it's dramatic so it goes up from there so you benefit from that point on but but really that is ah ten minutes and there are lots of scientists who were looking at different aspects of why that is immune cells. Start flowing into your system from your from your marrow after just ten minutes of walking your brain cells start read you start generating new brain cells if you walk a mile a day. So they're huge benefits to just small amounts of getting moving and and and of course then it builds on itself. This is what my husband has done. He started very small and has shown dramatic dramatic effects. In how healthy he feels and looks over the starting very small almost nothing five minutes a day. Historically the advice has been thirty minutes a day three at least three times a week not ten ten minutes a day which you know thirty minutes is a reason to say no and Mike that would be ideal. Of course. It would be great if everybody would do that. But you have to think of it a little bit like your body. He's a little bit like a bank account. Like if you you know if you could discipline yourself to put ten dollars a day in your bank account then after ten days you've got one hundred dollars but if you can only put a dollar a day after ten days you've still got ten dollars you may not have a hundred but you've got ten and is better than nothing right right so if you figure you use that money at the end of that ten days to buy gas for your car so see how far you can go. You've got one hundred dollars you can drive. What five hundred miles? Maybe depending on your car. If you've got ten dollars you can drive. You know thirty forty fifty miles. That's still farther than you could go otherwise and your your health is the same way you you nurture it bit by bit and it is cumulative and that is what what the side with. The current science has been able to do is pinpoint why that is. And that's really what my book explains explains it sort of an empowering Very empowering message by understanding how it works inside yourself in ways you can't see and that's what's tough you know if you can't see it then. Is it really working with these studies. They have discovered through magnetic resonance imaging and Epidemiological Studies. So from looking inside the cell to looking at whole populations they have been able to determine how even small things make a big difference. Stresses another big one people especially people who you know. Don't don't get involved in this kind of stuff will always point to the you know the hundred ten year old lady who smoked a pack a day and drank a quart of whiskey and And so see. It's all genetic because look at her. She never lifted her finger and smoked and drank and she lived to be one hundred ten. Yeah I'm really glad you brought that up. Because there there is absolutely a genetic component aging. What scientists now say is that based on all of the current research? The best estimate now. Is that genetics is twenty five to thirty percent of aging. And there are some people and those people you're referring to are called super agers and those people do have some lucky genetic cocktail that protects them from the figured out what that is very going to be very complicated thing to figure out if they ever can but there are certain people people who can live to a hundred well into their nineties smoking or living in just a not very healthy lifestyle and be fine. That's a very very small percentage. Did you people the thing is. It's so cool that you hear about them right. You know you hear about the great uncle so and so but it does tend to run in families so they know that that there is a genetic component to that the real issue for the vast majority of us. It's not gonNA help so it's really. It's like a deck of cards and it's how you play it. So in what else is there. Is there any mental aspect to this. Absolutely I I mentioned Stress is another major component of aging. There have been some incredibly incredibly fascinating studies about how stress ages you were cells in ways that have only just been able to be discovered their little caps at at. The end of your chromosomes called telomeres. which protect the genetic material every time? Your cell divides but every time. Your cell divides the get a little bit shorter and and people who are chronically stressed. The telomeres get shorter much faster. So what does that mean. It means that once the telomeres are so short that it would compromise. Your genetic material yourself. Is that sell all that. Has that chromosome. And it does the more cells. We have cells that billions of cells die in our bodies every day but that increases with age cell death and cell deaf south and and sort of self going into arresting phase increases with age and contributes to the conditions of aging. And it's a that is a natural process but stress hastens that their stress hormones that get into ourselves and they mess with the way they work. Cortisol you can feel it flowing through through your body when you're stressed out. That is very harmful on a cellular level to the way your aging so being exposed to chronic long-term stress. Absolutely you see You know you see it in presidents. After four years. They've clearly aged more than four years right. But here's the good news. The good news is This is also something that you can do something about even if you can't remove the source of your stress and and often you can't you know if you're dealing with an ageing parent or a chronically sick tiled or a very stressful job or financial woes. The stress is. It feels insurmountable. It's there all the time however what what researchers have discovered is that it really what really matters is how you you deal with that stress. Different people with the same levels of stress the same exposure to to stress can handle it very differently and actually the way you handle handle the stress helps alleviate the impact on the aging of yourself inside your body and I'll give you a couple of examples and and this you know weed. Seems sort of new agey but meditation has been conclusively shown to have make concrete changes inside the brain that help it helped the brain recover from and handle and not produces many stress hormones and recover from it faster. So that's That's one thing any kind of break. You can give viewer brain from stressful thinking through mindfulness paying trying to teach yourself to pay close attention to what you're doing at the moment rather than worrying in constantly about what's going on in the background. It is something you can train your brain to do just like a muscle and that that actually really does help. Intimacy helps Alleviate stress physical contact with other people social engagement and exercise all help you deal with stress of course when you're stressed sometimes it's hard to make you do those things but if you could just pick one small thing say okay. I'm going to sit at my desk and I'm going to visualize myself out in nature I'm GonNa do some deep breathing. It feels may feel kind of pointless pointless in fact it's not and this is what the science has shown what about the issue of but it's too late. I'm too old never too late. It never too late and there are There's some wonderful studies in my book Human Studies that that look at people in You know in the upper age brackets sixties eighties That show some remarkable changes. There's a An exercise Physiologist a researcher at McMaster university. mcdonagh Polski who's done some wonderful Studies one of the things. For example was he took a group of individuals and older group group and a younger group and Exercise them forty five minutes a day three times a week. for five months and The the difference in the the mighty Andrea production in their muscles had reverted back. Almost in older group had reverted back to youthful levels. It it was it was it was almost a complete reversal of the aging process Another example is and another example is a group of if elderly subjects who were put on a Mediterranean Diet for four weeks and after four weeks the level of senescence cells and those arresting cells cells else that have have ceased their normal active dividing lifestyle last cycle Had dramatically decreased in their vascular system and the percentage themselves that had shortening. Telomeres has also decreased dramatically. Just after four weeks on the Mediterranean Diet and these people in their seventies and eighties so it absolutely one hundred present it is never too late and the great thing is it doesn't take that much and it also if you if you engage in some of these activities with friends you get the social benefit. Also which also has been shown to have pretty dramatic anti-aging properties one of the things. I think that concerns people in the reason that they often don't get too who invested in. This is because the advice seems to change a lot. You know what's good. This week isn't good next week and now it's true you're absolutely right and and they're also there's so so much see you know there's so many conflicting quote unquote programs out there. You know there's so many books and here I am adding another book to the Max But there there's so many books there's so many programs there's so many celebrities and celebrity doctors all saying do it this way do it that way but I think what's what's really great. What's different about my book? I I I believe is that there is. There's a certain fundamental approach to health that everybody sort of always knows. It's what your mother told you. It's what the government says and they're you know five servings of fruits and vegetables a day that you just Kinda know. Yeah Yeah Yeah I know I know that that's GonNa make me healthy it is almost so obvious. CBS and so out there that people don't really pay much attention to it. And I think people need they need concrete examples of why something works why it's is going to work and if I don't see the difference from eating an apple for a week is it really making a difference in fact it is and so you need to know why you need to be armed with some information about you know what's going on inside your body so that you feel empowered quite frankly you know if you do something good for yourself. It makes you feel better about yourself right. It makes you feel like you can do it. Well I think everybody wants to look as good as they can and want to stay looking young as long as they can. It's nice to know that maybe maybe is not as hard as people thought. Margaret Pressler has been my guest. She is the author of the book. Cheat the clock she is also a reporter for the Washington Post and and you will find a link to her book Amazon in the show notes with the capital one venture card you earn unlimited double miles on every purchase everyday Eh and you can use those miles toward travel expenses like flights hotels rental cars and more just book and pay for your travel using your venture venture card and redeem your miles toward the cost capital one. What's in your wallet? CREDIT APPROVAL REQUIRED CAPITAL ONE BANK USA. Na Hey this year the home depot can help bring the holidays home for free with free delivery online holiday decor like artificial. Oh Christmas trees big small white lights or multicolored hundred and forty varieties. Pick one out will deliver it over the river through the woods right to your door for free free delivery on online holiday decor only at the home depot more saving more doing. US only see store for details. There's no shortage of leadership gurus in the world and so much of their advice tends to be business oriented. It's for managers. Bosses corporate bigwigs in the like. But we all have to be leaders at times in our lives. We lead our children. We lead others at work even if we're not the CEO. So I WANNA talk about leadership on a more individual scale less corporately although this certainly applies to leadership in the workplace as well my guest is Courtney Lynch she is a self proclaimed leadership junkie and she is co author of a new bestselling bestselling book out called spark how to lead yourself and others to greater success. Welcome Courtney thank you. It's a pleasure to be here. I'm excited to talk about leadership. So I'm I I don't usually like to ask start by asking people you know so tell me about yourself but I think you have an interesting story here with your co-authors coming out of the military and also I am. I'm going to ask you to tell me about yourself so tell me about yourself. Sure happy to do so. I think the most important thing to know about me is. I'm a leadership geek correct but I also was an accidental leader. I am someone that learned leadership. I guess in a pretty non traditional way at twenty one years of age I I made this interesting career choice to join the United States Marine Corps and to give you perspective. I think maybe gender makes it a little bit more Interesting out of one hundred eighty thousand Marines Only about a thousand one thousand are female Marine Corps officers so I had this very unique experience that not many people get learning to lead as a Marine Corps officer so I grew up in the marines. I'm an attorney. I worked in software yet. All of these different things I've done in my career. The one one common thread has been the leadership lessons that I learned firsthand in the military yet over the past thirteen. Fourteen years I've been consulting with our our nation and our world's leading organizations companies like facebook and Google and Walmart and Fedex helping them really understand how to leverage leadership skills and capabilities of their employees for greater success for the organization so I'm a leader. That's the best way to describe me with probably a unique background yet. It's all added up to being able to help others builder leadership skills were. You're quite a leadership. Smarty pants aren't it's what I love love. So the idea of the book and what your message is is what in big broad strokes here. The idea that all of us have this ability to lead others. Well it's just not a skill set that a lot of suspend a Lotta time developing right. I've met so many great professionals right amazing technical skills those advanced degrees Very capable very qualified high intellect right other smarty pants is out there yet. what we often don't do especially here in our American cultures build leadership skills. Well I think there's a sense that leaders are born not made and that they are there certain leadership type the people that that are better leaders than others. But but my guess is. You don't agree with that part and part of the fact I do right I think about you know there's been some really amazing studies. One of the best ones is out of the University of Minnesota Longitudinal Study of identical twins. Were they really looked at that. Born versus made question and that research looking at other a research kind of comes down about seventy thirty thirty percent of our ability. Delete is is inherited at birth things like R. I Q.. Things like maybe we leaned towards extroversion. people tend to think extroverts or better leaders CHARISMA OUR Ability to to influence and inspire though comes from truly are behaviors every day. And that's the extra seventy percent. What type of mindset do we have? What type of behaviors are we demonstrating? So yes some things fixed but at birth but the born with it peace I think falls away when you realize the majority of our ability to lead or based on the choices we make every day about how we're showing up and what behaviors were demonstrating restraining little. A lot of introverts for example might have real trouble with some of those behaviors. It's hard to you know be charming and and extroverted when you're not naturally see. I don't think charming extrovert didn't actually have much to do with leadership right. I think they're just a small piece. I think we're actually in the era of the introvert. great book quiet. That commanded a lot of attention. Not Too long ago and a lot of the research is moving towards with the nature of technology today again. The era of the introvert is upon us and I think the type of behaviors. I'm talking about things around your ability to be accountable. Your ability to have a sense of service towards others others your ability to credibly meet and exceed standards they transcend personality types versus extroversion introversion. I think they're more behaviors that anyone you want. Whether you're a social and outgoing or more quieted quiet and prefer to be on your own can can truly leverage to be effective will explain those behaviors in like real people terms arms because they can sound a bit platitude -i When you say exceed standards and all that sounds kind of like report card stuff but what does it mean in day to day? How how do people do this? Well how do people do credibility right. You're talking about exceed standards. The interesting thing about credibility is it's not us that evaluates our credibility pretty credibility is in the eye of the beholder meaning other people are always racking and stacking. You're right people are always evaluating you trying to decide. Can I trust this person. And do they know what they're talking about. Are they going to be able to get the job done. That's real world happening to us all the time anytime we're interacting with another human being so being credible means and really understanding what does success look like in this organization. What are the standards people that are doing well? Here are people that are contributing at Highest levels what what are they doing. How are they understanding success? And and how are they actually taken steps to meet and exceed those standards and the interesting thing. Is You know. We can have standards in our job right. We have a boss. That's who tells us what needs to be done. That's one opportunity to be credible right meeting and exceeding what we're asked to do but a lot of our credibility comes from our ability to read the circumstances and take some initiative in the areas. Sometimes we don't necessarily agree with or we're not excited about taking action there but those could be the things that actually help us be as credible as possible organization. I think a lot of people believe though and live the idea that if you show up and you do your job and you do it well everything else takes care of itself. I think that that's where credibility comes from yet. I think there's a bit more to it right so I think there's this dynamic of are you someone that naturally through how you engage with other people has the ability to influence and I think again we were talking earlier. You're about accountability when problems happen So you show up. You're doing your job. Something inevitably goes wrong. What do you do about it? Are you the person that jumps on the bandwagon right. It's become so socially acceptable to kind of blame. Someone else to blame the system or blame a process. Are you the person that can own it. Right seeking to to take responsibility not placing blame and then gets to what matters most how are we gonNA solve it and resolve it right so I think yeah if our worlds were super simple and and we can show up every day and everything was easy it would be just showing up and doing your job yet. The challenges of today's world. We're probably going to find a problem before you know before. Four we're an hour or two indoor morning and how do we take initiative at those points and take ownership and worked to solve those challenges. I think that's the above and beyond that's that's valuable and adds to credibility ability because this subject is is big. It's really big kind of hard to get your head around if someone's listening and saying well gee this this all sounds that's good but where do you begin. How do you start? How do you start showing up the way you're talking very specifically in everyday terms Maybe some examples would help of. What would I be doing differently that if I did what you're talking about that maybe I'm not doing now? I think the the biggest accelerate to how we develop as a leader and again. I think it's important. I'm thinking about leadership. Not about being the boss or notoriety or power prestige age now. Those things are important to someone. I think that's great. Nothing wrong with being the boss or having power and maybe having notoriety or prestige in your life yet. I'm talking about how your ability as a person to do two things really well. How well do you as an individual influence outcomes and inspire others right? That's what I'm talking talking about it. And and every day in our lives whether we're a parent and employees Involved in a volunteer organization we have to influence and inspire to get along well with others and to get things done and so I would say to someone that. Hey how do I elevate how do I get better. How do I you find more success? self-awareness what are your blind spots. And when I talk about blind spots okay it seems okay. They're blind. I'm blind to them. How we're GONNA know what they are but can you really really critically look at yourself and look at yourself with an eye for? What does everybody else know about me that? I'm not quite seeing around my own behavior. Like a practical article example. I think sometimes you know. We have tempers. People get angry right and in a professional situation. Let's bring it to the working world. What's your go-to behavior? When you're angry three some people scream and yell? Raise your voice some people it's withdraw right. We all have these behaviors that maybe are less than best when we're under stress or when we're angry and so it's really taking a step back and saying you know. Is that behavior of the most productive. What could I be doing better in those circumstances and I think that's the key if someone wants to develop their leadership skills they have to really be open to certainly recognizing what are my positive blind spots? What are the things that maybe little things I do? Each day that are valued at people but then they also have to look at those blind spots that are self-defeating and maybe holding them back a bit too so you have to be really out for a cold hard. Look at what's working here and what's not working here but when you say inspire others. Is that just doing you better or is that a deliberate act of. Hey you Chimera. I'm going to inspire you not in those words words but but you know deliberately go out and attempt to inspire. I don't think it is unsigned kind of charismatic. You know give a great speech. I'm going no you know raw inspiration. I think it's more subtle way. Do I because of who I am. I have an impact on you. That's positive and sometimes at at work that's about people getting work done I and sometimes in life. That's about hey look at that person. Look at their track record of success. Look at their character. Look at their Actions in this moment There's always an opportunity to inspire and there's always an opportunity to influence. My guest is Courtney Lynch she is co author of the bestselling pulling book spark how to lead yourself and others to greater success and we're talking about leadership skills developing your leadership skills shop over one hundred specials early at macy's black Friday preview and beat the rush. Get Fifty to sixty percents off coats jackets for the whole family and sixty to sixty five. I percents often Napkin hotel collection bedding to update the guest room and give the perfect surprise with sixty five percent off at the diamond rings pendants necklaces and more for more perks. Let's check out macy's star rewards. You'll get benefits no matter how you pay. That's the savings lineup. At macy's thirty day saving valid clarence prices exclusions apply. So Courtney these other behaviors that you talk about like act with intent and be of service confidence and I think confidence is probably one and that people struggle with because if you're not naturally self-confident it's hard to fake it. You can't fake it right. I think that's a really popular adage out there right. Fake get till you make it and I wholeheartedly disagree with confidence comes from within. You can't fake it but you can build it and I think that you'll all my work with leaders through the years is very focused on well. The ones that were confident. What was it And digging into the research and then working with folks to develop confidence and it's internal so much of what you project outwardly is because of where you are internally and so in the book and spark we talk about Really several categories. Right taking time to recognize your success. Even if it's making it through a difficult Tuesday right we all have those pretty terrible days and so being. I'm proud again internally. Not telling everybody how great you are for making it through your Difficult Tuesday confidence can be borderline arrogance but really the sincere so your understanding of your own beliefs capabilities. Positive Self Talk Right. I mean that was one that I found it a little trivia when I first heard about it right but really really understanding what we're telling ourselves internally has a big difference on how we show up to others in the world and then simple things I mean. Confidence is an emotion. Right confidence isn't isn't a skill. I still can practice bringing that emotion to the forefront when you need it the most and some of that is understanding things that yeah and Superman terms Kryptonite Kryptonite tear confidence. Things like fear. Worry insecurity very commonly felt human emotions yet. How often are you allowing them to get into your thinking and dispersed? You get rid of your confidence right when the moment you start to feel afraid the moment you're paralyzed by worry or the moment that you start to evaluate yourself against others and you don't quite feel like you're stacking up. Those are the moments that kill your confidence and so really just by understanding the internal dynamics of confidence it can translate to that stronger. Confidence projected outward. That sense of. I think it's been called the imposter syndrome Rome of of you know I really feel like I don't deserve this. I'm I don't know how I got here but sooner or later everybody's GonNa find me out for the fraud that I am. I think everybody feels that. And and that's pretty tough to deal with. I think everybody feels that and I love it. Mike that you're calling that out right that's the that's kind of a secret behind curtain and that's the unique thing about my work is the the privilege of it. Is I get to spend time with such amazing talented leaders right. I've had clients literally that were on the cover of Time magazine when I'm traveling to their client sites yet I know them as people and I see that they're dealing with these very same issues. People are people so yes. It's not Dismissing those feelings that are so common. It's working through them. And that's what I think we're a little bit of my marine training comes into play because they didn't teach us. I mean think about courage right I mean can courage really be todd. They didn't teach us to dismiss our fears. What they taught us to do was to face? Our our fear is and to move forward in spite of them right. Knowledge ing our own fallible nature. Is Humans Right. Were we all get scared. We all make mistakes. Abuse are common experiences for all of us as people yet. What do you do to rise? Above when you're in those circumstances and lives depend on it now in the private sector. Maybe maybe it's not always life or death but I think for professional today we take our career so seriously and we're proud of them and so understanding How we can work through challenges ages within ourselves or work to lead and serve and and Add value to other people more effectively. That's the essence of leadership development. So how'd you do in some nuts and bolts. Do that because I think when people hear things like work through your feelings and all this is glaze over. I don't know what that means. It's it's recognize them right and sometimes it's name your fears if we're talking about confidence if we're talking about accountability it's recognizing I am stuck in the story line. I'm blaming I mean everybody else right I mean again. WE BLAME CREDIT CARD COMPANIES FOR GETTING US into debt. We blame fast food restaurants for making fat. We blame our child's teacher for what our kids it's not doing right. I think practical nuts and bolts terms as we have to take ownership of what's going well in our lives and celebrate that and that contributes to confidence or what's not going well take ownership of that and figure out what are some steps to Betterman. Yeah well and that's that hard. Look in the mirror you talked about. It's some people aren't willing to take. Yeah I think everyone has the potential to be a better leader yet will and commitment have to be present present to that process. How how might not? How easy is this but I mean is this like a life a long journey or is this something you can work on for six months and and really see the difference? I think he can work on it for six days or six minutes and see the difference. As long as you're open to developing yet none of us will ever be the perfect leader. We can always be better again as much as as we commit to being better so it can be and I think for most folks who are achieving the success that matters to them. They've made it a commitment to continuously develop they're in a very much a growth mindset perspective and then I think some people and that doesn't mean they're bad or wrong but are in more of a fixed mindset and that's where they're staying gene and if that works for them. I think that's great. I think people are drawn to leadership development though at times when they get feedback from someone else that they need to develop their leadership skills sales right and like you've suggested sometimes that can be a bit vague yet if something's not going according to plan or something doesn't feel like it's working well turning to developing hoping yourself and developing your leadership skills can often be very Efficient and effective path to to betterment. Well that's a really interesting. Take GEICO leadership. And as I said as we started this discussion that that's different than the usual corporate business boss manager leadership skills. Dell's this is more about how you know. People look inward to become better leaders. So thanks Courtney Lynch has been my guest. She's author of the book spark how to lead yourself and others others to greater success in. You'll find a link to the book on Amazon on the show notes. Page for this episode of the podcast and all of our episodes are located aided at our website somethingyoushouldknow dot net. Thanks Courtney. Hey thank you I appreciate your time and thanks for having us be a part of the show the whether or not you're a great cook or maybe you just boil water and make some pasta every once in a while no matter what. I've got some expert tips for you. That will make your cooking much better. They come from the website pop. SUGAR DOT COM first of all protein including eggs. Protein hates heat. So if you've always ended up with overcooked and rubbery scrambled eggs. It's because you probably cook them too quickly at too high a heat low. Oh and slow is the only way to get soft custody scrambled eggs next almost every time you do make pasta. You should save about half a cup of the Pasta water. Before pouring the rest out of the drain that salty starchy liquid that the pasta cooked in becomes a crucial part to achieving. A Silky cohesive sauce in most pasta dishes sizzling bacon on the stove top typically results in splatters often painful bill burns and the tip is to roast baking in the oven on a cookie sheet lined with foil. So that the Bacon cooks evenly and the cleanup is effortless You'll never buy ground beef again. Once you start making burgers from Sirloin tips. Rather than ground chuck the flavor and the texture are far superior to plain old store bought ground beef and finally and I love this one ended. So it's so true any chocolate chip. Cookie is better with salt on it when you take the cookies out of the oven sprinkle them with just a little good quality flake salt preferably you know big flakes Salt Lake Kosher salt and it completely transforms the flavor of the chocolate chip cookies. And that is something you should know. And that is our podcast. Today you can subscribe to this podcast for free. and that way the episodes Get delivered right to whatever device you listen on. Just click the the subscribe button on whatever platform. You're listening on. I'm Mike carruthers. Thanks for listening today to something you should know.

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My secret to staying focused under pressure | Russell Wilson

TED Talks Daily

12:26 min | 3 months ago

My secret to staying focused under pressure | Russell Wilson

"I'm Elise Hugh and you're listening to Ted Talks daily Today on the show. Russell Wilson I'm a big Fan. He's a super bowl winning quarterback of the Seattle seahawks and Wilson has more than just physical trainers. He has a mental conditioning coach from that coach and his own experiences. He has learned a turnaround negatively, and the difficult circumstances of his life to cultivate a calm mind uses what he calls neutral thinking, and he explains it in his Ted Twenty, twenty talk. It's a useful approach to overcome the pressures of painful times. There's another podcast. He might enjoy something. You should know with Mike Carruthers, sometimes all it takes is one little factor piece of wisdom to change your life forever in each episode Mike carruthers interviews experts in their field, bringing you fascinating information and advice that will help you get more out of life Mike also uncovers and share short engaging pieces of Intel to make your life better today, so look for the bright yellow light bulb to listen and subscribe to something. You should know wherever you get your podcasts. Hi! This is Adam grant hosted the Ted podcast work life. This year we worked with our sponsor better up to tell amazing stories from their workplace. Stay tuned for a story from Rachel about the surprising value of working with a coach. June eighth, two, thousand ten. Russell Wilson Fourth Round. Pick to the Colorado rockies baseball I'm fired up when the highest moments of my life every kid's dream to be drafted by Major League Baseball team June eighth, two thousand ten. June nine, two, thousand ten. The line goes flat. Dad passes away. Highest, the high the lowest of the low. Just, like that, my dad lane is deathbed, and just tears running down my face and you know what do i. do next you know in my mind. Racing Memories, flashbacks moments early mornings, getting up taking grounders in throwing speed outs and depot's routes to my brother and my dad. Too early morning car writes a baseball to my dad being the third base coach. Fast forward to the championship high of winning a super bowl, holding at the Lombardi trophy, and then motions and excitement of at all blue and green confetti all over the place, knowing that just won the super, Bowl. Two year later, the pressure of the game and the ball on the one yard line, and this is the chance to win the game and it doesn't work. In however many millions millions of people all over the world watching. And having to walk to the median, what do I say next? What do I do? What do I think? Being married a young age, and just out of college and everything else to shortly after marriage, not working out and realizing what life happens, life happens. Life happens to all of us lost family members, divorce, fear, pain, depression concerns worries. We think about being super positive. Yes, positive by nature positively. It doesn't always work because when you're down. Sixteen nothing NFC championship game. People are like Russ. We're not going to win this game and like you know it's. It's not a great situation right now. When you you're facing cancer when you have things, you have to deal with their finances and this and that like how do we deal with it? And it's hard to be positive in the midst of it all and what I definitely knew. This negativity works one hundred percent of the time negative he. He was going to get me nowhere. I started saying to myself new or his mercies every morning, new beginnings, new starts, and despite hardship and pain and worries, and wanted to get through wooden. How how do I do this I start thinking about a car? You drive a car and get stick shift, and you want to shift to neutral well you go from first year to second year way to fifth gotTa Know How to shift to neutral and needed to shift in neutral immediately before it crashed. Sitting there after the super. Bowl I had a decision to make. Why let this define my career wallet? Define my life, l., no, what have found out. Was this the mindset of the skill? It can't be taught and learned. I started ten years ago. Training my mind. This guy named Trevor Mohan mental conditioning coach and he's been with me for ten years, and we've been best friends and partners ever since and as athletes train the body, we train ourselves to be able to run faster and throw farther and jump higher. Do Different things. But why don't we train our mind what he wants your life to look like? You, talk about it, saying what's our language? What is our language? Look like watch. These highlights Russell when your best moments. What does that? What does that look like in be that? Live that sound like that. The best free throw is they. Don't worry about the shot. They just missed the. They think about this shot this this. Throw this first down. Then I met this kid Milton. Right nineteen years old. He had cancer three different times this day when I went to go. See Milton almost frustrated. Russ I'm done I don't WanNa. Do this anymore. It's my time to go. I said Milton I started telling the story about my dad and my. Son Why not you? Why not you graduate early. Why don't you play pro football pro baseball? Why not you? Why not you? Why not? You sit, Milton, why not you? If you try cell therapy? And you try this and it doesn't work. You won't remember so. Milton got a smile on his face and he said you know what you're exactly right. Yes, I do have cancer rough. But I can either let this kill me. Not just physically can also let it kill me emotionally and mentally, and I have a choice right now in the midst of the problem in the midst of the storm to decide to overcome. One of the questions I always get asked about neutral thinking is this. Does that mean I don't have any emotion. I always say absolutely not yeah. We have emotions. We have real life situations. We have things to deal with, but what you have to do is is to stay focused on the moment an to to not be super emotionally. It's okay to have emotions, but don't be emotional. When people look at me, they see that on the highest paid player in the NFL. They see that I have the girl in Sierra I had the family and this and that but I still have real life situations. We all do we all. Have you know sadness and loss in depression in worries in fear and then just get here. What's the truth and come through this better? And that's really kind of a my mind started. Shifting was not just on the on the success of at all or the failure of it. It was it was on the process like. What is the next step? How do I do this right here right now? We have a choice to make in life and for me when I was young, and I didn't have much I made a choice I made a choice that I was gonna believe that great things are GonNa. Happen that I was GONNA. Have my mindset right now is going to have the right language and the right things to think about which helped prepare me for today because I'm assuming I, just have ability to throw. Throw the ball a long way to run around and make some cool fun throws and and make some people smile, but the reality is that I still have pressure I still have worries I still have fears I still have things that happen. He's still have loss. positivity can be dangerous, but what always works as negatively and Never WanNa live in negativity so I stayed in neutral I kept my my shift in neutral and so that's where I lived. You know that's where I've been living ever since. When you consider completely different fields, it's really daunting to be a senior leader who can't told Lingo. That's Rachel Barton last year she landed a new job as director of technology at a bank. But! There was one problem. Didn't have much experience in technology. Her coworkers might as well have been speaking another language. Imposter Syndrome imposter syndrome. Belief you don't deserve your success survey. Suggest that more than half of people have Felton some days in in the depths of a hundred acronyms per mason. It was pretty tough. CNBC DI DI DI HPSM, idea, L. O. B. M. Q.. Whip T rex. Two months in Rachel was still having trouble while she had the leadership skills. Not Understanding the intricacies of the banks tech infrastructure was a real obstacle, but Rachel hesitated to ask for help because she didn't want her new colleagues to think she couldn't do her job. I was just completely beating myself up in my mind. I was worried that if I kinda showed my cars to say, here's what I think. I need to learn that I would have been on on the path our after a major data breach, Rachel had to meet with a senior technology executive to help triage the crisis. Oh, it's just nothing and scribbling away and then he kind of paused and. He said. You're not technology story on US NOT ACKNOWLEDGING I came here for business chain background, and he says well. He says you need to learn to be. Down Fast Rachel. Knew she had to make a change. She needed to boost her confidence and figure out how she was going to learn all this new material so quickly. Her company gave her access to better up a leading mobile coaching platform where professionals can tackle challenges at work with the help of expert coaches. She figured she'd give it a shot. Of course, be honest, was a little skeptical of coaching by virtual mean, but when Rachel met her better up coach Victoria on video chat, she was surprised at the outcome I remember my first session. 'cause I had an epiphany Victoria. Victoria sesame clearly if you've learned of three career. How going about lending now? I think it was those words and I went. Oh, I was just completely bouncing from thing to thing without actually having a plan, and that no even sat down and gone right Rachel. What do you actually need to learn hits? It's become comfortable with the Royal Victoria Ratio Plan actionable steps to build up her technology at work. She started reading books on cloud technology. She reached out to some co workers to get up to speed. She even signed up for coding class run by a colleague, so I went along to one of these one of the guys who was leading it says all Rachel. If you come to observe our session now I've learned how to Code, and he looked at me like a gun off his life, but your thyroid through Surely you can coat of light now. People are often afraid to admit gaps in their expertise. But there's evidence that seeking knowledge help and advice can actually signal confidence and a desire to learn. Those who use better up coaching reports, significant increases in confidence and resilience by working with Victoria to shift your mindset and build proactive habits. Rachel has overcome impostor syndrome. Coaching gave me the confidence to know that it's fine to not. Have to accept that. Some of these people have twenty years experience in doing this i. have absolutely no the now saying to the guys. Can you just summarize that for me and some needs to now? Bow ritualised successfully leading her team with a clear and compelling vision. And when it comes to tech, she starting to sound like a pro in the context of how we deliver work in our AV as we've now looked at this asp. Very shortly we will need to do a t rex. Out of never formula that sentence for you six months ago. I joined the Science Advisory Board at better up because coaches have been fundamental in helping me at every point in my career. I believe everyone should have a coach in their corner. If! You'd like to work with greater clarity, purpose and passion. You can get a free trial with better up at better up dot com slash work life. I'm Chris Anderson. Host of the Ted Interview podcast every week. We're conducting live interviews with people focused on how we dig ourselves out of this pendant crisis. Start rebuilding a better welt. You'll hear from people right at the frontlines of the pandemic people trying to figure out better ways that we can test and contact trace people working in finance and the economy to figure out the smart way where we can get back to work people who are involved in the sense, full vaccine and many many more. This is really important content for where we are right here right now, so do check out. The Ted Interview on Apple Costs spotify aware of unison.

Rachel Barton Russell Wilson cancer Milton Victoria sesame Mike Carruthers Russ Ted Twenty Colorado Seattle seahawks Ted Major League Elise Hugh Ted Intel NFC Adam Chris Anderson US
The Best Way to Learn Anything New & How to Deal With People You Cant Stand

Something You Should Know

44:36 min | 1 year ago

The Best Way to Learn Anything New & How to Deal With People You Cant Stand

"Today on something you should know that you know the wave you smell can make you appear thinner. I'll explain that then if if you wanna learn anything you have to understand the good and bad ways to learn a lot of people when they are learning something will tend to cram it. They will try to learn it in a short short period of time and we just know from countless studies that this is actually the worst thing you can do. If you want to remember things long-term. If you want actually remember things long term you want to space space out also today why the next time you get a cramp you should reach for a jar of pickles and how effectively deal with people you can't stand dan you know those whining negative people and the problem is that when people are being y near negative. They tend to go into generalizations. Everything's wrong. Nothing's right. It's always always that way but you can't problem solve a generalization so they're kind of stuck in their own quicksand all this today on something. You should know so listen to this. The average person spends eleven hours a year resetting passwords. Don't you hate that you know you know the password it and it doesn't work and so you have to reset it and then wait for the confirmation email. That sometimes doesn't come and well now. I'm going to let you know how it feels to never have to do that again and you can try it for free with dash lane. Dash line isn't just a password management app. It is the ferrari of password managers. That's what fast company says because dash lanes saves and auto fills in your log in information everywhere across your phone your computer your tablet on on any operating system. Dash lane is secure. It's easy. It is in fact password magic. I just bought some airline tickets online and went to go through the process process and poof dash lane filled in everything over eleven million people use dash lane including me. No more guessing passwords dash lane in has an exclusive offer for my listeners a free thirty day trial of dash lean premium to redeem go to dash lane dot com slash s. y. Wii s. k. If you have more than one password dash lane is a no brainer goto dash lane dot com and start your free thirty day trial right now fix your password problem once and for all and support this podcast at dash lane dot com slash s. y. S. k. fascinating intel the world's top experts and practical advice. You can use in your life today something giving you should now it. Mike carruthers hi welcome to something you should know and we dive right in today talking about your sense since of smell of your five senses. The sense of smell is unique. It's not talked about a lot for example. You may not know that everyone has as their own unique odor except for children of multiple births twins and triplets all smell alike women have a better sense of smell than men smell falls off dramatically for men after their mid fifties and for women it doesn't happen until their mid sixties in a recent study eddie men thought women wearing a citrus floral scent were twelve pounds lighter green apple and cucumber sense create create the impression of a larger space while the scent of roasted meat creates the impression of closer quarters recall can be enhanced danced if learning is done in the presence of an odor and then that same odor is present at the time of recollection. This is why some teachers burn chocolate. It's scented candles in their classroom and then again on mandatory national tests like the s._a._t.'s and your sense of taste is about seventy eighty five percent smell and that is something you should know everything. You know you had to learn some things you learn quickly other things. Take time some things you learn to remember sometimes. Not we all do our best. Is we go through life to learn things. But how often have you ever thought about how you learn things. What does it mean to learn something. What's the best route to get there. How how can you be a better learner scott young as a successful writer who decided to take a hard and careful look at how human beings learn and he's he's author of a book called ultra learning master hard skills outsmart the competition and accelerate your career a scott welcome to something you should know. Oh no it's great to be here. So there is different kinds of learning right you can learn to ride a bike or play the trumpet which is different than learning about history and mathematics will. We're talking about <hes> scientific definitions. I think learning if we were to look up a textbook would probably say something about changes in the brain that adapt our behaviour based on experience so that's pretty broad and includes a lot of things that maybe we don't even think of as learning for instance you know our habits are incense. It's a kind of learning it's a change behavior in response to things and so learning is really quite broad and that's what i'm talking about that. It's it's really goes well beyond that certain certain narrow definition of studying for school and so we think we know how to learn right. I mean most people don't stop and think well. What's the best way to learn this. We just just try to learn stuff so there's actually a lot of really good. Research shows that people are absolutely terrible learning obviously if we were terrible learning we we wouldn't be very successful as a species but that there are lots of little traps that we can fall into so one of my favorite ones has to do with what is known as retrieval and basically there's a lot of studies on this but one of my favorites is they took <hes> students and put them into different groups and ask them to use different methods to study one of them they asked to do repeated review meaning that you just look over the text over and over again and the others they asked to do free recall which means that you close the book and you try to write down on a piece of paper paper everything that you can remember and immediately after they did this. They asked them how well did. They think they learned the information and the reviewers were the people who thought they had learned at best. They said yup. I've got this whereas the free recall people. They thought oh man this is really hard. I'm not actually getting this but when they tested them it was actually the opposite that those who did free recall perform better so the idea of learning is full of these little traps where you can think you're learning something really well. You're thinking you're doing what works best for your memory and it's actually something different is to learn to remember is that what learning is if you when people say you need to learn this. What what does that mean did that you not. You must memorize it. You must understand it. What what does it mean tone. Learn it will memory is certainly a component of learning obviously if you don't remember remember literally anything than there. It's hard to say that much learning took place but i think it's also important to separate what we talk about with memory because again going with the studying analogy algae a lot of people think memory is just okay. If i say you know what is the capital of france and you think paris you're able to just sort of spit out that answer that that is essentially what memory is a memory is also a lot of other things. It seems like when you're riding a bicycle for instance. You're doing that because you have memory stored in your head about how to move your muscles muscles in order to control the bicycle as there's lots of different types of member and there's lots of different ways that we <hes> remember things and so this is again that the the essence of of learning is not just being able to spit out facts but being able to perform in situations based on having experiences with them while the concept of learning to ride a bike is interesting because everyone knows the saying. Oh it's just like riding a bike meaning once you know it you always know it but when i learn stuff to study for a history test just because i know it now doesn't mean i'll know it a year from now. Why is that so so there seems to be a couple of reasons behind this but one of them that has been hypothesized that there is actually a difference between what psychologists call declared of memory which is the kind that you you can actually put into words and procedural memory which is the kind of informally known as muscle memory or this sort of motor skills that you learn throughout your lifetime and it seems is to be that procedural memory is more durable than declarative memory and this can actually have interesting interactions so in one example often we will remember our pin code road by how are hand moves. Even if you had to write down. Let's say well. Maybe not the numbers but if it was a longer password i certainly remember it by how it feels on the keyboard unless by what the exact letters are and that can be because you've got this muscle memory procedural memory of moving your fingers to type in your password that is more durable bowl than the ability to recall it explicitly and it may be that they are based on slightly different memory systems in one of them just lasts longer than the other. What about people's ability ready to learn. Is it different or is it more in the skill and the approach that everybody can learn more or less the same if they do it correctly will so it's both there's definitely a lot of evidence that some people can learn better than others and some people can learn certain skills better than others and i don't think there's much use denying that but at the same in time there's also effective ways to learn things and ineffective ways to learn things and so a lot of what i try to talk about is what are the effective ways to learn things so i mentioned one of those principles already which is retrieval that if you get students and you just ask them what would they like to do when they study so this is another experiment that was done they will often if they don't feel feel very confident use that strategy of repeated review so they'll continually review the same information and if you force them on the other hand to say okay you're not allowed to do that. You have have to do free recall than they actually will. Score better on the test so free recall is better for all people than repeated review. Some people will do better later with both then with <hes> with the other so there are people who will learn faster than other people but definitely this difference in how they learn is also based on what kind of methods they're using and what what are those two methods you just mentioned will so that this is just one idea but this is the contrast between what is called review you and recall so review is when you know what you're talking about when you have your notebook and you flip through it and you just sorta read it again and again and again and this makes you more and more familiar failure with the information but it doesn't necessarily help you remember it for test whereas recall is when you close the book and you try to actually recall for memory what was in the notebook without looking at it right and that's a there's a big difference between the two and and yet you would think well maybe that works at that one works just as well as the other but not so definitely and again. It's it's one of these deceptive things because after you do the review students will say oh i learned the material quite well and this this is because we actually don't really know how much we've remembered and so we use these proxy signals are these sort of little approximations to what we expect to to have remembered and in this case it's how familiar does it feel how when i read it again and again and again it's feeling more and more familiar to me but this is actually slightly different and the ability to recall it without looking at it on the page so in other words you're practicing being able to recognize the right answer but not necessarily to produce the right answer and i mean this is just one of many many different examples of little ways we get misled in are studying and and learning habits what about when you're trying to learn something being like playing an instrument or riding a bike or it isn't what you're trying to think about learn and remember. It's more about doing again. There's a lot of interesting little tidbits on that. So one of them that i find really interesting is that it has been known for a long time by psychologists colleges that people have difficulty transferring so if you learn something in one context <hes> say in the classroom and then you try to apply it in another context say real life we often fail at that we often are not able to transfer those contexts so one of the best things that you can do when you're learning is to try to practice the thing that you actually want to get good at and a lot of people when they are learning a new skill like let's say speaking a language for instance they will be working on a little app and they will be playing around with the app and they never actually actually practice having conversations or they decide. They're going to wait until they get to the point where they're ready and just like the people who were doing the review versus the recall they will often take a lot longer longer to actually learn the information in a way that they can use it because they have difficulty transferring those skills so so take me through. I wanna learn to play the violent so hutton. I don't really but let's say i want to learn violin. So what's the best way to do that will so the starting point i would say is to practice playing the violin so this is i know sounds kind of obvious but for a lot of people they would maybe start with a book they would start with you know while i'm going to have to go through all of these theoretical exercises so the first place would be to practice the violin. The next step is what i call drilling and this is something that we're all familiar with but it's often something that we don't understand astound why we're doing it and so in this case you want to break down. What is the activity of playing the violin into components that you can practice and get good at separately so the expert violin players do something which is called deliberate practice and this is something where you are trying to work on the points that you find hardest not just playing the same tunes sounds that you feel most comfortable with over and over again and so this often means that if you're working on an entire piece you don't play the entire piece from start to finish but you focus on the few little tricky the elements that you were starting to mess up when you were actually playing it through. There's a concept. I've heard over and over again. This particularly applies to sports that if you want to be a better tennis player play with people better than you will absolutely because if we don't get that feedback that you you know our skills are not as good as they could be than they tend to just stay where they are so and indeed a lot of the research done by anders eriksson on <hes> deliver for practice shows these plateaus so that we get to a level where we feel comfortable playing games tennis and then we don't improve because our habits are little kind of micro decisions that we make while we're playing the game are good enough but there may not the best thing for sue and this can lead to this situation where we don't get better because in order to get better. We actually have to to get a little worse. I we have to practice on working on something as if you play with someone who's better than you than your old habits are not going to be good enough and you're gonna get pushed to go further other whereas if you just play with people where you're winning all the time you're not gonna have that same pressure to improve so when you play someone who is better and you don't necessarily know how how to play someone better because they're doing things you're not used to. They're they're running circles around you. How is it that people somehow raise their game without necessarily knowing how to raise their game just by playing someone better well. There's two things obviously having a coach helps because they can tell oh you what you're doing wrong and what you're making mistakes with but even just the idea of you learning on your own and getting feedback can be enormously valuable because very often what we're doing is we're making subtle little adjustments and so if we get some kind of negative feedback oh i missed that shot then you start trying different things you start okay well. Maybe i will try to do this next next time. I'll try to do that next time and i will try to adjust to it and you can learn through this sort of approach. Get better and find ways to compensate for those weaknesses but again like we were saying thank. If you're playing against someone where you always get their shots and you're always able to return it. You're not going to get better at the same pace we're talking about and learning about learning and we're learning about learning with scott young. He's author of the book ultra learning master hard skills outsmart the competition and accelerate your career. Something you should know is sponsored by a._d._t. When you need real protection for your home and family you want the experts eh a._d._t. When you hear those three letters a._d._t. You think rock-solid home security and with a._d._t. You get all the latest innovation in smart home security combined with twenty four seven monitoring from the most trusted name in home security in fact a._d._t.'s the number one run smart home security provider. They have a team of professionals that will design and install a secure smart home just for you with a._d._t. So you get everything from video. Doorbells indoor and outdoor cameras smart locks in lights all controlled from the a._d._t. App or the sound of your voice and everything is custom designed to fit your home and lifestyle. They even have safety on the go in the car or when the kids are at school with the a._d._t. A._d._t. Go app with an s._o._s. button when it comes to real protection you need a._d._t. So scott. Let's talk about the idea of a coach or a tutor in school anyway. Usually you get a tutor when you're like falling behind. Its you know if you're the top of the class. You often don't have a tutor but but but when you're the top athlete you often do have a coach so wh what's the role there well. I think coaches can often see your performance separately from you. So you have your own sense of how you're performing but you're always inside your own head and in particular they can offer another perspective active on what you're doing so i think a lot of that sort of what you talked about that. We tend to think of tutors and people who are helping you as something that's more remedial because you're not able able to learn it on your own but i think really people of all stripes would benefit from tutors and benefit from coaches because they can see what you're doing and say hey what if you tried it this way hey what if you did it that way and that's true even if you are better than the coach that you're working with because even if you are better overall there may still be little things that you're doing which are tripping up your performance that you can work on and they might be able to spot those so you don't have to be the best to be the coach. You just have to be abled. Coaching is itself a whole all other skill actually isn't it isn't just playing the game well. It's learning how to coach will definitely just just like being a teacher is not the same as being being a performer as well like you have to learn how to see someone else's performance and figure out okay what are some ways that it can be improved and that's again slightly different from actually doing those things yourself. What a what we know from the research about things that may be people believe help them learn that don't or aren't very effective well so we just talked about one right now. Which is the idea of of this review versus retrieval so that's a really common one that people will tend to focus on review review instead of doing retrieval another one has to do with spacing so this is another <hes> really useful result from the psychological literature that a lot of people people when they are learning something will tend to cram it. They will try to learn it in a short period of time and we just know from countless studies that this is actually the worst thing you can do. If you want to remember things long-term that if you want actually remember things long term you want to space it out see want to expose yourself to the information either by doing some kind of recall what were by doing some kind of practice on multiple different occasions and this is gonna make it a lot more durable so continuing our discussion of memory if you are able to practice something just once it's very easy to forget it but if you practice it multiple times spread out over a few days or weeks it will store in your brain much much longer so oh cramming cramming at the last minute doesn't work in the long term but does it work for the test tomorrow. It can work for the very short term. So if you do do this kind of what's called mass practice. You can get over a very short term learning goal but again this is sort of a constant problem for students because they cram for this exam then they forget everything and then when they start the next class builds on it. They're already behind so really what i recommend. Is that if you can develop some kind of spacing schedule so if u._k. You're studying unit one and you're going to practice it again another three times in the semester and you had that in your calendar sure you'll do a lot better than if you just try to review just the week before the exam because you will have built it into your long term memory and that's just a much more stable thing for going forward. What else what. What else do you find it. Either people don't know about how to learn better or people think helps the dozen. One of the ones that i thought was really interesting has to do with feedback because feedback is obviously very important for learning and in some skills it would be nearly impossible to learn without any kind of a feedback if we're talking about learning bicycle if you had no sense of whether you are setting operate on the bicycle it would be almost impossible to learn but interestingly a lot of the studies that were done on feedback show that feedback often has a negative effect so in a meta analysis. I believe that was done by abraham closure and angelo denise we see they found that something like thirty seven percent of the studies they looked at feedback was actually negative and this can sometimes be because feedback as a distraction. It's not actually helping pink but it can also be because the information and the feedback doesn't help you improve so we can all think about that time that a teacher told us that we were no good at something and i mean that was feedback to who didn't exactly motivate us and so one thing that students often will focus on teachers will focus on and coaches will focus on is praise and so if you praise someone and say oh you did a really good job that's great. <hes> dot often actually can have a negative impact as well that if the information being given isn't relevant to the task of his just saying you know you're so smart smart. You're so great then i can also have a demotivating effect and it can allow the person to not work as hard at improving so what does work what kind of feedback if any is better so the best kind of feedback that you can get is what i call corrective feedback which is where you not only are told what you're doing wrong but how you can fix it so this is. The kind often comes from coaching where they'll say oh. You're doing your tennis backhand like this. You should do it like that and thus you can correct it now. The challenge is that for a lot of domains. We don't actually have corrective the feedback. We just have feedback that says you know you're doing better or you're doing worse but you don't actually know what you need to do to fix it so the important thing to realize with feedback back i think is not so much okay well. We need to have corrective feedback because that's helpful but to recognize also when you can't have corrective feedback so if you are running a business for instance and and you release a product in your product absolutely flops. It's easy to say okay. I'm gonna talk to my customers and ask them what i should have done. Instead and i mean your customers can tell you whether or not they wanted to buy your product so that is kind of feedback but they probably can't tell you what you need to do to fix your product to make it better unless it's something really obvious because because they are not the product developers are just the customers and so it's important to also distinguish what kind of feedback you can get see you don't overreact to the feedback insert just implementing suggestions questions from people who don't actually know enough to give you the proper advice what about a learning with people not from people but you know i think the the beatles you know and and i don't think they had a whole lot if any formal musical education but boy when they came together and worked together something being very magical happened that probably might not have happened if the situation was different yeah so working in groups and i think think especially if picking environments where you can be exposed to people who can give you that kind of feedbacks really important so we all know that learning a language through immersion is much easier easier than learning it through a classroom for instance. If you're going to learn french and you live in france and you speak french every day that learning with other people is going to be a lot easier and more effective than and if you're just studying it from a textbook but this is also true of a lot of skills that we don't normally think of as learning through immersion so if you wanted to learn and academic skill for instance in grad school very often functions as this kind of environment where you're surrounded by people who are also smart and also researching this topic and you're having conversations about it constantly and you quickly pick up this sort of indirectly. What do people think is important. What do they think matters. What are the different effects. What are the different scientists going on. That would be actually quite difficult to just piece together. If you were only reading journal articles similarly if you want to be at the cutting edge in some kind of professional skill picking the right company or the right office to work for can also matter under because if you're again surrounded by those people who are doing cutting edge work like the beatles <hes> you're also going to naturally <hes> learn through watching other people and learn by kind of tacitly picking up the skills that they think matter great well. I think i've just learned more about how i learn than i've ever learned before my guest has been scott young and his book is called ultra learning master hard skills outsmart the competition and accelerate your career here. You will find a link to his book in the show notes. Thanks got really interesting. Well thank you so much. Mike curb appeal. You know what you see and with the homedepot today is the day for doing boost your curb appeal with the best brands at the best prices from new garage doors colorful flowers exterior lights to a new coat of paint inspiration to installation. You can do it or let the home depot do it for you. Visit homedepot dot com slash services for more information information on installing your next project more saving more doing u._s. Only see store for details. Capital one is building a better bank doc one that feels nothing like a typical bank. It's why they've reimagined banking and built something completely different capital one cafes they offer for checking accounts with no fees or minimums and savings accounts with one of the best savings rates in america. This is banking reimagined with your needs needs in mind open an account today at any capital one location or online and five minutes and experienced banking reimagined for yourself alf capital one. What's in your wallet capital one n._a. Member f._d._i._c. here is a universal experience that most of us have on a fairly frequent basis and that is having to deal with people who by all outward appearances. This is our idiots morons difficult. There are people you cannot stand. Wouldn't it be great to arm yourself with a little intel that would make it a a lot easier to interact with these people since they do show up sooner or later in your life well good news here to help as rick brinkman rick speaker and writer or who has developed some really keen insights into human behavior and he is the author of bestselling book called dealing with people. You can't stand how to bring out the best in people at their worst a rick. Let's pleasure to be here. Mike thanks for having me so generally. Why do you think people are difficult and and i suspect that we can all be difficult at times. Some people seem to make a career of it but but why do people become difficult well people get stressed out we all do and <hes> different things may stress it out differently and we found that there's ten behaviors that are stress responses. You know in the simplest thing. Some are more out there attacking when people attack you run over you or be a know it all others are more passive like <hes> somebody who's warnings kinda flopping around helpless but even more passive than that is people who say fine no nothing's wrong but you don't really know where they stand and you know it's it's not fine so everybody is potentially one of these people and we all have probably been that way absolutely and <hes> <hes> it depends on two factors our relationship at context who were you with and what's going on. I was interviewing a c._e._o. To do a program for her people will and she admitted to me that when she's a at work she's more likely in the control area the lens get it done. Make things happen. Things have to be under control if she gets a little you too stressed out. Control can easily manifest as what we call a tank where people all right let people here's what we need to do but then she says when she goes home she becomes a wigner to her husband about the problems at work. Her husband can't understand how does she possibly run a company. She's such a whiner but he doesn't get to see her in her other context and all or other relationships in her blazing tank laurie so you've mentioned a couple of them the wigner in the tank. Let's talk about these specific types. Can you walk us through them and and <hes> and perhaps the best way to deal with yes in what we call the lens of understanding their four quadrants and again. You're not strictly one thing and it's not personality typing. It's behavior savior because personality every behavior you have in every relationship in context so in the get it done area. The lens where people are being more controlling. You got your tank. You also have your sniper who has kind of covert control <hes> so they tried to cut you down in front appears very often with sniping or some kind of some suppressed anger girl resentment. Maybe you got the promotion they think they should have gotten or other people in general just angry and suppressed and so they snipe and then the third controlling behaviors no it all behavior. I know ninety nine percents. I'm happy to tell you how much over hours on end and you know maybe they do know ninety seven percent of a subject but let's remove only three parts on three percent of the parts in an airplane ready go for flight and this is the problem though it all behavior then you have an attention area of the lens where people need appreciation intention and that's where you're more likely legal. Tantrum tantrum is more rational than a tank attack attack attack. You know what's going on. You may disagree with what they're doing but you know what it's about and it makes accents to a degree whereas with a tantrum you know suddenly it's the proverbial straw that breaks camel's back here all this stuff that has nothing to do with circumstances which also get out of that ariza's a friendly sniper people who like you so. It's friendly teasing. It's friendly put down humor gossip not really intending to hurt people though it can have unwanted side effects and then the third behavior get <hes> and that area of the lens is your think they know it all where somebody has such a need for attention that they act like they know even when they don't moving over to another lens where we want to get it right and people get a little more perfectionist. That's where you get your whining winning negatively. Basically they see what could be as high standard perfection a look at what is what is does not measure what could be and then they feel helpless do anything about it and the problem is that when people are being y near negative. They tend to go into generalizations. Everything's wrong. Nothing's right. It's always that way but you can't problem solve the generalization so they're kind of stuck in their own their own quicksand what you'll also get added that get it right. Perfection is a nothing person fine. Do it your way. Don't come crying to me when it doesn't work out and that point on they say nothing but you also get nothing out of a different area lens where people want approval and they want to get along and they're concerned about relationship so that's kind of nothing is well. If you don't have something nice to say don't say it at all or or you get yes behavior where people really agreeable on the surface but you really don't know where they stand in relation to decisions you get maybe behavior. I'm sure we've all all told salesperson. I'll think about it. We really weren't planning on thinking about it but you didn't want to hurt the person's feelings and of course out of that area the lens. It's very easy for people people to become passive aggressive and so. How do we handle these people well. It depends what you on your dealing with. I mean let's say with somebody whining winning or negative. You have to break down there generalizations so you listen to them. They're going to go in an endless loop tape once they start to repeat something. They said you say excuse me for interrupting. Nothing i just wanna make sure i understand and you backtrack summarize everything they said and then you start asking questions to dig a little deeper now they won't answer. Your questions is right away. You'll say what's wrong. They'll say everything you say okay but what specifically all of it. When does it occur. It happens all the time but don't let that stop you. You wanna just if you stay with it. Even if your recycling questions you'll get them to be specific and once you're looking at specifics of say. What do you think we should do here and some people will immediately go well. I guess we should and they'll come up with something. Other people <hes> might say i don't know and what i found works great with. I don't know and take note. This is also your nothing person's first response on a talkative day. You say guests make something up. If you did know what would it be and then you give me an expectant looking expectant pause and it's amazing how nine out of ten people will go well. I guess and they bring in the makes total sense so clearly there are different ways to deal with different different types of difficult people but generally what's the goal here. I mean is it just it to deal with them to get it over with. Are you trying to get get them to change the way they see the world. I mean what what are we trying to do here. You're trying to get them out of that. What we call it the red zone <hes> the danger zone where they're in this difficult ogle behavior. You know somebody could be controlling. Let's say but they're still rational the bosses. I think we need to do this right away you yes that's true bus however we i have to handle analysts because it added on the bus goes okay. We'll handle it so that's that's. A person is still <hes> rational about it. We're trying to pull them back. In so with the somebody's buddies whining or negative we want him to pull them back in so they can start to think problem solve if somebody's being a know it all we're wanting to open their closed mind and consider other people's opinions and other other factors <hes> if somebody is you know being a tank extreme tank. We want to get them out of tank mode enough to have rational conversation. I mean i'll never forget this. One time. Amid a loss luggage claim in an airport in the guy in front of me is tagging the person counter as if she purposely mislabeled his bags incent them to el salvador of sun. She puts her down. She looks in the is she says sir sir sir. I get very inconvenient view and you think we're idiots. That's called backtracking when you say back with somebody says to you however they're only two people stand as counter who care about what happens your luggage and of those two people one one of them is quickly losing interest and he said what do you need to know now when she says to people stand at the counter what she is clarifying is the the intent. What's the intent of this interaction. His purpose is to get as bad bags back her purpose to get the bags back. We're on the same side your behaviors defeating our common purpose and he got it and see. There's a <hes> an advantage. You're dealing with people in tank mode. You can be really direct. You can be very blunt with them and and they don't really take that as rude because tank attack is not really ego motivated behavior. Now that doesn't mean the person doesn't have an ego. Everybody's got an ego like to have a liver but in this is context in this relationship egos not the big issue. The guy at the bank claim doesn't have a care in the world that i could be stand behind and thinking what a jerk he doesn't care what she she thinks so each of these behaviors you do have to approach in a a a different way but the overall is to think of it like it's a workout at the the gym in it's it's to your benefit to try to get a result these people and then continue to know what you want pay attention and be flexible but when is it better to maybe walk away and deal with these people at another time when they're not being this way oh absolutely that is definitely an option <hes> and sometimes. Let's say if we're at a meeting being an somebody's snipes me. I wouldn't want to ignore it because people can only pay attention to seven give or take two things at one time so wagner the sniping everybody. Everybody in the room is like two bits of attention on me. What's he gonna do next to bits of attention on the sniper. What will she say next. The rest of their attention is internal. What would i do and everybody's going hi. I'm not here right now but i'll get back to you. If you keep pretending we're meeting so i may want to handle it. Excuse me i heard you say <hes> that. I must be the twin. No one person could be that stupid. What's going on you innocently. Ask that'll get the sniper to back off but then after the meeting you may want to circle back around and in dig a little deeper and go what's going on between us. Is there some issue. If you can clear the air you clear the sniping so you don't always handle it totally in the moment it's happening. Sometimes there's a secondary step at a more appropriate time and place so you really you really have to choose your battles and also also you want to think more long term like <hes> usually with a tank. If you have one good interaction where you stand up to them. This is the proverbial high school bully stand up to and then becomes does your best friend. You tend to get a long term result with them. The no one knows the opposite though the know it all takes time they need to know first of all that you know how much they know oh and then they need to know that you understand relevant factors the important criteria and so if in the meeting let's say we get the know it all to feel like we understand that would happen by backtracking what they say so that no we heard them we would ideally right the relevant factors the criteria on a whiteboard or flip chart so they can and see the factors that we know to which then makes it easy and addition. Maybe we should consider this. We could add another factor to that chart and what happens if you do this over time the know it all starts to know first of all that you respect them and second of all you also understand the relevant factors that need to be attended to and so they elevate u._t. Equal you know it all status. It seems though that these are very deliberate strategies that are probably great to use but in the moment when you're confronted with jerkin really you just want to haul off and smack him. It's really hard to stop and think okay now. What type is he and what do i want to do. And how do i wanna get there. Which brings us to a very important internal strategy is that you want to prepay how you'd like to be with that person so let's say you know i. I've read the book understand. Dan what strategy has to happen with the the nodal then i want in my mind to imagine go back to that last meeting where they shut me down instead. I said this and i went walked over to the whiteboard. I wrote those things and then now. I imagine the beans can happen this friday imagined when they do that. Does what i'm gonna do again. This is called positive replay. Positive pre play play now. Take note that whenever we have an uncomfortable interaction with somebody. This is what we do but we do the negative oh. They said that they felt bad. They said that i felt i said i felt bad. Well well. You're creating association trigger. You know have you hear a song and it takes you back or you smell something and transported through time so an associations made by repetition shen and or intensity like if you get sick on a certain food is while before you wanna eat that food so really unless you take conscious control role of this process you are going to keep yourself stuck in the past every time you imagine it the way it was. It's more likely will repeat it. Every time you prepare yourself up in the future by thinking oh no what if it happens again you're going to repeat it but if you break that cycle which is first of all know what the strategy is and then imagine doing it every time you think of them. This is what i would have said. This is how i would have said is what i would have done next. This is what i'm going to do on friday before you know it like magic. You're keeping these people out of the danger zone. Well not only getting them out but even preventing it in the first place yeah and i would imagine that once you you deal with people in a certain way it's kind of a line line in the sand in the sense that they probably are less likely to jerky around the next time oh yeah because you're never really truly embarrassing in front of their appears appears you are. You are really helping them. The wigner feels helpless but if you can empower them to problem solve they're no longer miserable and helpless. Negativity negativity is the same thing. It's just a little further gone. It's kinda got all the arrogance of would also just by the dark side of the force or going to that nice area the lens you know oh you're approaching somebody into get along area would be like hey. How's it going. How's your weekend. How's the family you know. You're chatting friendly manner and then go listen. I want you to know that you know at that meeting. If there was something going on it's highly educated. Tell me i mean nothing says going to change how i feel about you. I feel like we have a good relationship and we're gonna feel closer to. It's okay to talk about it so with somebody there. You have to make it okay with them to share themselves and you may have to do it a few times once they do. The first thing you say when they stopped talking is thank you. You thank you so much. I reproach it. You tell me that thank you because what they're afraid of is losing approval and so you have an opportunity to prove to them that they could tell oh you anything and it's not going to have a consequence and that's what creates a long-term effect because they feel safe in your presence and perhaps you as if you do this fairly fairly consistently you you'd probably get the reputation of somebody not to mess around with because it doesn't work. That's true yeah i mean. Are you really going to get along with most people. The person who is most flexible <hes> will really survive and thrive in the world because the people can't get to them they and like anything you learn. I remember when i first learned to drive my mother sent me to store all the store but it was nighttime and it was raining and the world series was on and i sat and driver for out with the windshield wipers going and the game playing and i realized nope got to turn off the radio that was too much input now drive. I have one hundred miles. I don't even remember how i got there. You know there no dense on the car. It must have been okay like anything you learn. I you put a bunch of attention on it. It seems a little overwhelming but then it becomes automatic thing and the same is true with all these behaviors once you've got that strategy wired then you're going to be able to handle all kinds of people well as as i said earlier these people show up in your life sooner or later often sooner than later and it's good to have strategies to deal with them. Rick brinkmann's been my guest. His book is called dealing with people. You can't stand how to bring out the best in people at their worst. There's a link to his book in the show notes. Thanks all right. Thanks mike ever get a cramp really bad cramp. I've heard people say well. You should eat a banana or drink some gatorade and maybe that works but here's another idea reach for the pickle juice. It's been used in sports for decades in the study. At brigham young university put pickle juice to the test subjects exercise to the point of mild dehydration and then had cramps induced houston them those who drank pickle juice felt relief with an eighty five seconds almost twice as fast as water or other sports drinks researchers have yet to figure out exactly why pickle juice is so effective one theory is that pickle juice is a natural source of sodium and other electrolytes sodium is a component of sweat and the pickle juice helps replace what was lost and helps retain water in the body. Whatever the reason it seems to work. That's the podcast today. I'm mike carruthers. Thanks for listening to something you should know.

scott young Mike carruthers writer beatles eddie tennis france brigham young university france paris intel america a._d._t. Rick brinkmann gatorade ariza anders eriksson
SYSK Choice: Stop Being So Busy & The Real Fountain of Youth

Something You Should Know

38:16 min | 11 months ago

SYSK Choice: Stop Being So Busy & The Real Fountain of Youth

"Today on something you should know what makes a person. Creepy will explore the characteristics of creepy nece. Also being busy everyone is so busy. How many times have you heard? Oh she's a very busy person in a way that's code for. She's important that impressive right. It seems like all the most impressive people in our world are busy busy busy but that is a big cultural lie. Plus most most cooks today know that if you cook with wine or alcohol. The alcohol Burns off accepted doesn't and it's important to understand. Why and wouldn't you love to find? Find the Fountain of Youth will one well respected. Doctor has in fact discovered it. The founder of youth is something I discovered last Fifteen years I've been in practice it turns out no one wants the bound view. Find Out why today on something you should know. Have you ever thought about being an AIRBNB host and turning your extra room into some extra income there are actually millions of airbnb hosts in over one hundred two thousand cities around the world. In fact I have a very good friend. WHO's been an AIRBNB host for a while now so Melissa? What's it like I love being an AIRBNB host? I I just got through my third summer. Which is the most fun time because people come from all over the US and from Europe Argentina? I guess the big question the people would have is what about the financial payoff here. Scrape money for me. I actually have my mortgage paid every month and when it's really busy. It's my mortgage all my utilities. So I'm living rent-free I imagine. There are some people who would be hesitant because of the idea of having strangers in their hole. I can't say that I've ever had the feeling of any kind of un-safety no matter. What kind of space you have you too can be a host Airbnb you can decide when and how often you WANNA host. So it's perfect for every schedule and lifestyle visit AIRBNB DOT com slash host post to learn more how to turn your extra space into extra cash. AIRBNB DOT com slash host somethingyoushouldknow fascinating Intel. The world's top experts and practical advice. You can use in your life today. Something he should. Now Mike carruthers others. Hello and welcome to our weekend episode. This week of something you should know and I want to start with something I think is really interesting and very appropriate as we head into the holiday season because it is this time of year when people start to do a lot of cooking and oftentimes holiday cooking involves alcohol. And I've always heard and I imagine you've heard this too that when you cook with alcohol alcohol it Burns off. I would guess that nine out of ten cooks if you ask them would say they believe that and yet it turns out to be false. It's in general. You would have to cook something for three hours to get rid of all the alcohol. Of course it depends on the food and the cooking method and Pan there are other factors but generally speaking alcohol does not disappear quickly in the cooking process. Many cookbooks say that when in cooking a sauce for example you simmered for twenty to thirty seconds to remove the alcohol but experiments show that it's just impossible couldn't possibly happen so when cooking for others remember the fact that some of the alcohol does remain could be a significant concern to recovering covering alcoholics parents of children and others who might have some ethical or religious reason to avoid alcohol and that is something you you should know. So let's talk about the problem of getting things done and multitasking. And being busy and I'm sure you can can relate to it on some level which is why I'm sure you're going to enjoy listening to my first guest today. Christine Carter Christine is a happiness expert at UC Berkeley. He's Greater Good Science Center. She's a speaker and a writer and a mother and like you. She's very very busy. Christine has a book out called the sweet spot pedophile your groove at home and at work and she believes this preoccupation. We have with always being busy trying to multitask all the time. It's taking a toll on all of us so Christine. What's what's the problem here? is you see what's what's so bad about being busy. That problem is is that we are so busy busy busy all the time and that we see that business overwhelm as a sign that we are on our on the road to success. We see business as a marker of significance. And it's not it's not. It's actually a sign that we are not fulfilling are potential dizziness closely resembles what researchers call cognitive overload in our brain that cognitive overload makes us less if decisive. It hinders our ability to think clearly to plan to organize ourselves to resist temptation to remember social information then like are. The name of our boss's daughter are daughters boss. It it hinders our ability to control our emotions really and makes it harder or to do all the things that we want to do. Well who knew that I thought being busy just meant you were busy than that. Maybe you didn't have time for things but who knew it had all these other side Defects yeah absolutely does and you know when we say oh you know. She's just really busy in a way. That's code for she's important important. That's impressive right. It seems like all the most impressive people in our world are busy busy busy and pressed for time but that is is a is a big cultural lie and when we dial back those feelings of overwhelm and business using sort of really strategic tactics. Ex- We can do this. We actually can accomplish more. So how did I get so busy being busy. Well you live in this culture which values in in prizes dizziness and is is throwing data. Act You all the time you have. You have unlimited opportunities to be busy all the time because even even if you're just standing in a line you can be busy checking your email or checking your social media feed or reading an interesting Article So you know there there. We live in a culture that says more is better especially more information more stuff more things to do and And so we we all end up here at one time or another. The trick is understanding that this is causing us to enjoy our lives less and also from accomplishing as much as we can when we are operating in our sweet spot so what is operating in the sweet spot. Look like if I'm not cut super busy. I think people have the tendency to think well. If you're not busy you're bored. Yeah or you're lazy or you must not be very important so operating in our sweet sweet spot. Is that place of maximum impact where we have our greatest powers where we're living our greatest strengths but also there. It's the least resistance right. The sweet spot in sports is that place where the bat doesn't break right or it doesn't move there's no impact On the athletes shoulder for example. So knowing that it's your greatest power but also the least tension the least stress because that tension and stress hinders. Our performance hinders our power. So the great news is that we can grow our sweet spots we can live our lives from our sweet spot both at home and at work we just need to dial up the the ease element of things and also increase our art power or love that I want to dial up the ease element and so but where do you even begin if you're one of those people who so super busy you don't don't even have time to barely have time to listen to this interview. I mean we're how do you even start to get off that. Merry go round the the business treadmill ever get out of the rat race K.. The first place to step is to start stinks single tasking so when we get really busy a lot of times we feel compelled L. to multitask and and a lot of times. We actually really pride ourselves on our multitasking ability. So the first step is to realize that when you're multitasking Jose tasking. You're much less efficient than if you were single tasking and you're increasing the strain and stress on your brain and sometimes even your body so so doing allowing yourself to focus singularly on one thing at a time without having your phone on without getting you know message alerts without checking in your email at the same time let yourself do with most powerful work by focusing on one thing at a time. You're going to complete each of those tasks much faster so actually actually be at work for less time at while. Still checking all the same things off your list but you're also going to do those tasks better there you're gonNA be. LS error-prone in In your work but if I am to do everything one at a time what if I I find that then. I don't have time for everything but you won't though this is. This is part of that myth. So yes the first time you you do this. It's GonNa be a leap of faith because we've all been taught that multitasking is the only way to get things done because it's more efficient but what research shows is is that it's actually considerably less efficient. We're not actually doing two things or three things at once. Our brain is switching back and forth really rapidly league between those different tasks and we lose time in that switching back and forth and become more error prone so not only does it. It take a lot more time to correct mistakes. We might make well multitasking it takes more time in general so you you just have to try it out one thing at a time. Move from one task. Start all the way to finish then go to the next thing. Start all the way to finish. And don't interrupt yourself during that with by just taking a quick little glance at your email or you know actually turn your phone off so that you can. You truly can focus well. It seems like from what you're saying. Is that that if you do that and you do the things well that you do that you decide tried to do that. That the superfluous will kind of fall away on. Its Own. What falls away is that is the tension that comes and and the ear it ability that comes from trying to do to operate in a way that your brain just really wasn't designed to operate we were not designed designed to multitask? Our brain was designed to be most powerful when we're doing one thing at a time so it's like switching from a tractor engine to a Ferrari Ferrari engine. It's it's unbelievably rewarding to work this way and you say that that I'll get more done. I promise you so you will actually be able to get more done. It's not about become doing less. I'll tell you you know. I was in a position in my life where I'm kind of a a recovering perfectionist. overachiever and I was. You know I had this great career. That was very successful. I loved it I did not want to give any part of it up. I had children. I love my family. I've ridden parenting book and didn't want to be less of a parent right. Everything in my life was really hard one. I DID NOT WANNA give anything but I was exhausted. I was busy. I was overwhelmed that with multitasking. All the time and I it really took a toll on my health. I was so exhausted. All the time and I had chronic STREP infections. I landed one day in the hospital with a kidney infection of all things and I realized that if I didn't WanNa give anything up I needed to learn to do things differently and so this is why I wrote this book. This is the sort of my recipe book for living within your sweet spot so that you can have it all so that you don't have to give up the things that you love. It's about learning to be more powerful and more efficient in the things that you do do well since you brought up parenting. I think that's really good. Example of if you've got three kids and they all want you now. How do you do that one at a time? Well if you you know you've just you've just said it so when you can group and activity into you know into one one actual activity activity from your brains point of view. That will work right so I have four kids. We eat dinner altogether for example right. That's one activity. I'm doing with them all. It is also so really important for me to remember that if I'm helping one kid with their homework that it's very hard for me to do another cognitive initiative task. I can't really helping to kids with their homework at the same time or reading a recipe. For what I need to Cook for dinner at the same time. I'm helping somebody with homework. I can do however. Here's a great caveat. I can do I can multitask if they're not too intellectual tasks at the same time so I just don't want my brain to be switching back and forth between two cognitive tasks so I have found. I'm I can fold laundry for example at the same time. I'm helping one kid with their homework because I don't have to pay attention really when I'm folding laundry. I'm not very good at folding laundry but I don't really care about it either right so errors don't it doesn't really matter. I can focus all of my attention on that one child. You know a lot of times people. When they're really really busy? They get less done because the they they spent a Lotta time worrying about all the things they have to do as opposed to doing it. They're stressed out rather than productive. How do you how do you switch from from one to the other you know? It's that's super common and and it's just this horrible snowball effect right. You're you have so much to do that. You feel feel stress and the more stress you are the less productive and efficient and effective that you are at that so it's stopping that snowball from rolling down the hill. One quick tip for how to do. This is when you make your task list. You're likely to feel really overwhelmed by it. If you don't tell your unconscious brain when you were going they do things so if you make a big long list of things that you have to do but your brain does not know. When you're you're planning on doing those things it will keep reminding you? It will wake you leaped in the middle of the night and tell you what it is you need to do. And it's not actually trying to remind you to do it or to help you complete it and none of those intrusive. Russa thoughts are helpful at all. Especially if you've got it written down on a list it's just basically asking you. What are you going to do this? When are you going to do this? When are you going to do this? And as soon as you say I'm GonNa do do that Thursday lunchtime. Your brain will quiet and those feelings of overwhelm will start to die down. So if you're feeling stressed out make a list and then tell your brain when you will do. It actually plotted out on your calendar. I love that. That's a great idea last Last question and just any other like really clever tips like that kind of wet people's appetite and kick start this process. That could get them going. Yes you know. The book is loaded with really quick and easy things that you can do that. We'll dial back overwhelm. One of my favorite things to do is to think about social connections any sort of social social connection is going to be a real force for power and also create easing our nervous system. It's just how we're built so smile at the Barista. The next time that you're rushing shing in to get yourself a cup of coffee to keep yourself going in the afternoon. Slow down enough to make eye contact at the Barista. How they're doing Chit Chat with somebody the in line any sort of social connection like that where you're smiling is basically helping your body reset itself from stress S. those social connections have tremendous power? It's magic to our nervous system. I always enjoy talking to you. Christine you always. You always kind of put Oughta fresh light on everything so I appreciate your time. Christine Carter is author of the book. The sweet spot how to find your groove at home and at work. There's a link to a her book on Amazon Dot Com. You can find the link on the show notes page for this episode of the podcast. Thanks Christine L.. Thank you lots of fun and good luck with a book. Thanks Kris Jenner. Thank you you know. People are often surprised when they hear statistics about home burglary for instance that only about ten percent of break ins is our planned beforehand. The rest of time it spur of the moment crimes of opportunity and most break INS happen in the middle of the day. When you're likely not home yet given that only one in five homes has home security and maybe that's because most companies really don't make it very easy? There are different plans at different prices. They can all add up to be pretty expensive in confusing. which is why simply safe is my top choice simply safe protects your whole home every window? Oh Room and door with twenty four seven monitoring for just a fraction of the cost. There's no contract no hidden fees no fine print. It's designed to blend right right into your home. There's no wires and no drilling and it's easy to order. An easy to set up takes about an hour and their prices are always fair and honest around round the clock monitoring is just fifteen dollars a month visit simplisafe dot com slash something and you'll get free shipping and a sixty day risk-free trial while you've got nothing to lose. Go now and be sure you go to simplisafe dot com slash. Something so they know this podcast sent you that simplisafe it dot com slash something this year. The Home Depot can help bring the holidays home for free with free delivery on online awed decor like artificial Christmas trees big small white lights or multicolored one hundred and forty varieties. Pick one out. We'll deliver it over over the river through the woods right to your door for free free delivery on online holiday decor only at the Home Depot. More saving more doing. US only see store for details staying healthy. It involves a lot of things and you're about to find find out some of the most important things for living a long and healthy and active life things both to do and some things not to do from Dr Davis Slew who is a board certified family physician and author of the book the thrifty patient so doctor. Let's begin with what I think is one of the cornerstones stones for many people when it comes to their healthcare and that is the annual physical exam which new believe is not necessary but the recommendation for a yearly. Physical goes back way back. I mean decades I. It's kind of like senior dentist every six months and I asked him. I think that's been hundreds of years. I at least one hundred years at least for dentists and they just because it seems like a reasonable thing who would question that and yet you say that that perhaps that's not necessary. Yes at least for the last few decades Recent article as recent as two thousand seven hundred this two thousand two said that. There's no medical evidence that saves lives and it makes makes sense We don't bring our car in just because we want to bring it in and get a checkup. So why would they checkup. Just out of the blue make any sense either and yet insurance earns companies still will pay for your you know your one free annual physical. I think it's benefit And if you can use it you should only use is it However a lot of evidence of one in twelve visits turns out are for physicals? And frankly there's no proof that save lives and whether it's worth your time or money I guess it's just people think well if there's something early you'll catch it you'll find it early on in a physical that if we wait till L. Symptom show up that then it might be too late. Yeah so I think the difference is what times might you seek to get a physical and so certainly in places like Ontario Canada. They've actually gotten rid of the physical but for people between eighteen and sixty four. What they offer it's called a personalized interview and they. Let's see what risk factors your at with things you're at risk for and should bring you in for a physical so absolutely true. Maybe not annual physical being mindful of certain milestones stones. Your life might be important to see a doctor things like what your age I think. Certainly at age twenty one Forty fifty sixty five important screening test. Come do at that point point if you have no family history of any illnesses then you don't need to see anyone sooner but if you have Those age points. You should be able to see a doctor then but otherwise if you feel okay you should just leave it alone and just not worry about general if you have no family history of diabetes heart disease you don't take classroom medicines for anything The keys are number one on your birthday. Check your blood pressure and your body. Mass Index makes you. Those numbers are normal. Check a website called Health Finder Dot Gov. I see what you're doing for. But in general eating healthy maintain a healthy weight and exercise are really critical staying healthy. So yes. If you're otherwise healthy and well you may not need annual physical physical. Do you find though as a practicing physician that people may not be leading such a healthy life and they come to you. May maybe fix that with a pill absolutely true Enforcing if they come to my practice. It'll be disappointed because they'll talk about the unsexy things of moving ten thousand thousands steps per day. I'm removing Lee eliminating a soda a day Because there are no quick fixes despite all the hype it really is as boring as eating less than moving living more and that's been shown to actually increase lifespan by quite a few years. Just those simple things simple things like five servings of fruits and vegetables so both don't smoke if you drink in moderation and exercise at least thirty minutes a day sounds sounds not to be very earth shattering but turns out. They've done some research. Searching people extend their lives by a few years. It is discouraging. Though when you hear about people or you know people who seem to be leading a fairly healthy lifestyle gal and yet at an early age they get cancer or something happens and they die at a fairly young age yes that's true. So we as his doctors have things we can do. Hence the importance of certain ages. You should see a doctor age. Twenty one to screen for Several cancer for women each forty cholesterol and blood sugar screening for both men and women age fifty for both men women for colon cancer screening. And then he's sixty five osteoperosis for women and and those age was ages. You probably should see a doctor for a physical and to see what things you need to be screened at at based on your risk factor. That plan your doctor may wanted to see every year at that point but prior tired of those ages particularly under age forty. Most of us don't eat physicals but certainly ages forty fifty and sixty five. We must check in with the doctor when I go to to the doctor for a physical. It doesn't seem to be as as a thorough or intense as I remember physicals when I was a kid you know it turns out a lot of physicals back when I was growing up to. We did a lot of tests. We did chest XRAYS for smokers. We did urine tests and it pans of the last probably twenty years or so a lot of these tests. We did thinking we were doing. Something actually had no value scientifically so a lot of those things aren't necessary anymore so a lot of it is asking patients during fiscal while your risk factors for certain illnesses and cancers might be taking a look at your blood pressure number one cause of death is heart disease. That's the silent killer and check your body mass index so most of my time if patients see me for physical remind them and get the important screening tests done for cancer. Get some blood work if they need it. And more importantly a big discussion about lifestyle changes maintain a healthy weight and eating healthy isn't though a lot of the reason that people go to the doctor. Sure when they're not sick is to be reassured that they're not sick absolutely and I think for those patients who absolutely feel that a annual fiscal helps them stay. Motivated helps them stay focused on what they need to do to stay healthy and well for another year. I think that's an absolutely great thing to do. And and certainly I welcome it however for those of us who think there's medical evidence that it's as live. Their answer is no that caveat is one eight tell all my patients is on your birthday. Check to see if you're that year they need to see Dr as at twenty one forty fifty or sixty five and those who Have a family history of diseases or not. Sure about. They'll talk to your doctor and see a A. Do you need to be tested. And Be Hoffman with your doctor to check on you. It seems like I guess. People think that if they if they're doing something then they're actually doing something. Yes I think they key about annual physicals is if you feel like you're actively doing something to see a doctor make sure you're gonNA evaluation kind of your overall health status. I think it's a wonderful thing and from patients who actually find that helps them stay motivated for the following year. Please continue for those who just wonder the minimum. Oh I'd say on your birthday check your blood pressure. Checked by mass index. Ask yourself getting enough fruits and veggies. You know five servings a day typically and moderate exercise thirty minutes a day can be broken broken up throughout the day and if you maintain a body mass next under thirty which is under obesity. I think that's a great start. I'm speaking with Dr Davis Lou. He is a family physician and author of the book. The thrifty patient with the capital. One saver card you can earn four percent cashback on dining earning an entertainment that means four percent on checking out that new French restaurant and four percent on bowling. With your friends. You'll also earn two percent cash rush back at grocery stores and one percent on all other purchases. Now when you go out you cash in. What's in your wallet? Credit approval level required capital one bank. Na macy's Veterans Day sale has our lowest prices of the season on furniture with cooler temperatures. Here's here you can stay cozy and update your home for holiday guests. The Joe Lean two piece sectional created for macy's seeds crowd for just nine hundred ninety. Nine dollars keep your bedroom germ clutter free with the TRIBECA. Queen Storage Bet. Only four hundred eighty nine dollars and get our lowest prices of the season on mattresses plus great Sealy closeouts Shop Kevin Sort at macys DOT COM or call. Eight hundred five. Maybe so Dr Lu when people get sick as they age when they get get diagnosed with something terrible like cancer or serious heart disease or diabetes. Something would a trip to the doctor earlier. Maybe have have caught it sooner or if there are no symptoms you are unlikely to catch it either. Great question so for illnesses like diabetes which are becoming more common as we get older facts one. In four adults over age sixty five it turns out having been overweight or obese body messing over thirty it can get caught sooner. So there's some things you can be done sooner for certain cancers like colon cancer breast cancer cervical cancer. Their test. We can do so. I encourage encourage patients to be screened at age. Forty and fifty for those But unfortunately turns out some cancers. There is no test for and there's no way the doctor would have picked it up that being said if you ever have symptoms of anything Don't don't let it wait too long. Usually if things improve within two to three weeks if things don't seem to be improving took a doctor and see what they may have to come up with. So what. What's the difference between the normal aches and pains of life and maybe getting older versus something? It's really worth going to see the doctor for great question so symptoms that don't make sense one of the biggest worries. I have when I talked to. Patients is when I see how you've been they say great. I've asked him. Have you lost weight. They go yes I have I say. How did you do that? They go. I don't know so any unexplained symptoms that don't make sense like weight loss. Unexplained would be one thing in terms of joint pains arthritis pain things like that. In general typical aches and pains. We get as we get older. Our Joey get better in the morning we get up. Even a little stiffness for the first hour as warm but by the end of the day. It's get- getting better and by nighttime they kind of can get it worse but then when you go to bed and get next morning it gets better so join paints tend to get worse as the day goes on but then better with rest. Joey more aches and pains. We get as we get older things that might be. More worrisome is joint pains the how with fever weight loss or swelling that seems continuous. Not Improving on its own when you talk To patients about leading a healthy life. And all how. How big a factor? Because we here it's a big factor. How big a factor do you see stress as being I think stress stress can be healthy? And when it's perceived the correct way Stress we all need a little bit of stress in our lives. It just becomes when it's not in balance with the rest of our lives and and when we find him balanced with stress it turns out we have different habits. Most of US respond in three different ways with stress. We have emotional changes behavioral changes changes or a physical changes Giving example one of the things that I can do actually is for behavioral changes when people drink more or they smoke more or they avoid exercise because they don't have time so that's one example of how stress can impact our lives because it changes the behavior so stress can play a role by. I've seen plenty of people also cope with stress and makes them be better. The question is how do we balance stress alive and do that in a healthy way. What are the things that if if if you could scream them from the mountaintop that you wish people would do well you and I were talking the other day about how you know the the Fountain of Youth and you said well? I'll let you repeat what you said. Well the founder of youth is something I've I've discovered last You know fifteen years. I've been in practice. It turns out. No one wants the Fountain of Youth because because it's incredibly hard. It is a magic pill everyone asks me for its exercise and turns out. I've got patience in their eighties. Who Do fabulous in fact? They're they're playing golf people in their sixties because when can keep up with them and beating them so they're real inspiration to me. I've got a paratrooper in world war. Two he's in his nineties now. He walked six miles a day and does easily one hundred push ups a day easily. Beats his doctor on on on a on a push up so these are my inspiration and it it turns out that is the only thing that keeps people healthy and well and very vibrant. So That's a fountain of Youth Hard to do but also the good news easy to do. You know I I remember number Talking to someone on it's always stuck with me it was a doctor or somebody that I had interviewed that said that. A huge percentage of people who are in nursing nursing homes rest homes. Aren't there because they're really sick. So much is that they just can't function they can't get the peanut butter jar lid off or they can't you know. Get in and out of the chair. I mean it's. It's just that they've atrophied into into an old person because they didn't stay active so another really great. Strive thread vine is this. debilitation is what you're referring to in just getting the basic stuff of work and life done and one of my patient remember many years ago still in my practice practice he He came with a Walker one day and and really looked his age. And ask what I could do and I can only offer some prescription medications for joint pains. So he thought about it went in home and then came back six months later without a walker without a cane looked fantastic and I said well. What did you do because clearly? I didn't do anything he was. You know what I heard what you said. I started exercising. And he loves to trim bonsai trees and so he did that and it said you know what Dr Lu that almost killed me. I tried that for two hours and then almost kill me but I stuck with it rain or shine and he started adding more time in gardening and now he's doing great and he looks fantastic but when he asked when people ask him what he did he goes IOS lying. I work in the garden four hours a day and people say well. I don't WanNa do that. What else can you got here? That's the only thing I got and so I again. A lot of patients inspire me. It is a lot of it. Is We lose function and our ability to move and do things as we get older so to fight back Father time exercise really pushes that back quite a bit and yet it is amazing. How people who when they say you know they hate to exercise and they hate to work out or they hate to do whatever it is they're going to do? I've never heard anybody. Do it. Go to the gym or go on a walk and come back and say God. That was horrible. Wish I hadn't done it. It's everybody always is is thankful that they did it but they hate doing it. Yeah that's really what makes us human isn't it is that we have an emotional part of our brain and irrational national part and the rational part knows we need to go out and move around The emotional parts as well. Maybe not today. Today's Kinda rainy. Maybe tomorrow or maybe not today because after all I'm really tired I deserve a break. And so how do we manage both sides of the brain having a partner exercise with you really helps Having little tricks like saying I'm I'm just going for a five minute walk and afterwards I don't like that by Milwaukee I'll go home because I'm done Turns out to your point after we get these things done. We get the motivation. Then emotional national park kicks and goes you know what that five minutes pretty good. I wonder how I might continue to do that. One other trick I learned is maybe to record yourself after a great walk that day. He Davis Lou. I finished the thirty minute walk today. It was a great day was sunny. Lot of fresh air because see treasonous scrolls running around and record that on your phone own so one day when you need to exercise. I don't want to play back. That voice and hear about high mostly excited you worry about that particular excise and saving do that. We'll grade right and those are some really practical tips on what to do to stay healthy. Not only things you can do but maybe some things you don't have to do like the annual physical that could would save you some time in money as well. Dr Davis Lou is a board certified family physician and he is author of the book the thrifty patient. There's a link to his book on on Amazon. You can find it on the show notes page for this episode of the podcast which you can check out on our website which I would love to have you check out if you haven't already and the website is something you should know dot net finally today on the podcast. What makes a person person creepy? It's a question. You kind of intuitively know the answer to but probably not one you think about very often but there's actually some research that looked into what makes someone a creep over thirteen hundred people were surveyed and it's widely believed that if you're a clown a taxidermist the sex shop owner or a funeral director pretty much people are GonNa think you're a creep. I guess until you prove otherwise. They're also so some behaviors and nonverbal cues. That makes someone come across as croupier being extremely thin. Sends that signal. Not Looking you in. The eye does well when people ask to take a picture of you. And you don't know them you're GONNA think they're a creep watching watching people before interacting with them tends to make people creepy when someone asks details about your personal life when you don't know them that's bats a pretty clear signal. That's just really creepy displaying too much or too little motion make someone creepy. Being older makes a person crappier and well. That's that's kind of age discrimination but I guess when you're young people who are who are very old and look very old can can sometimes kind of freak people out or creep people out and steering the conversation towards sex will pretty much give you the brand of of

cancer Airbnb US Christine Carter Christine family physician Fountain of Youth founder Dr Davis Lou dizziness AIRBNB DOT Dr Lu Intel Mike carruthers Home Depot Europe kidney infection Melissa Kris Jenner
If Your Heart Has Ever Been Broken - Listen to This & Amazing Ways Numbers Affect You

Something You Should Know

45:20 min | 1 year ago

If Your Heart Has Ever Been Broken - Listen to This & Amazing Ways Numbers Affect You

"Today on something you should know if you need to solve a problem lie down. I I'll explain why. Then everyone has had their heart broken and the effects can be more devastating than you think if you're heartbroken, and you'll heart is ripped out of your gut and you'll all you can do is be in bed and cried for a day. There's no medical organizations like logical organization that feels that it actually tempting merit its own category or its own consideration. And it's remarkable the bench the case. Plus, we have a real food problem. Too much of it is thrown away and the fascinating world of math and numbers. For example. Our number system is based ten but very system of youth by two million years ago with faith sixty K, basically, it's kind of seems crazy. But that's why we have the fifty seconds in a minute. Thirty minutes of the now all this today on something you should know. You know, my car insurance company is Geico has been for a long time. That's because Geico saves me money, and maybe they could do the same for you. If you switch all it takes fifteen minutes to find out if you could save fifteen percent or more on car insurance. And Geico also offers coverage for motorcycles are vs and boats. Do you have renders or homeowners insurance perhaps? Geico could save you money there too. And there's so much more. Geico could help with plus don't forget the discounts. Go to Geico dot com today and see how much you could save. That's geiko dot com. Somethingyoushouldknow is sponsored by ADT. That's a name, you know, when it comes to home security, and now ADT can install a state of the art smart home. You can set up custom automations unique to your home to automatically do things. Like lock the doors and set the thermostat when you leave even close the garage. Door from virtually anywhere. You can control your smart home with the ADT app, or the sound of your voice and ADT will install the entire system for you. Visit ADT dot com slash smart. To learn more about how ADT can design and install a secure smart home. Just for you, ADT dot com slash smart. Somethingyoushouldknow fascinating Intel world, Tom experts and practical advice, you can use in your life today. Something you should now. Mike carruthers? Hi, welcome. So a couple of feet away from where I'm sitting in my studio, I have a couch, and I use that couch frequently not because I'm because I'm lazy because often what I do is. When I when I'm trying to come up with things to say to introduce a segment to introduce a guest, I often go over to the couch lie down close my eyes and things pop into my head, and that is part of my creative process. And as it turns out, I'm onto something it seems that the next time you're struggling to find a solution or to come up with a creative idea. Lying down is a good way to do it in an Australian National University study participants were asked to solve problems specifically what they were asked to do is solve anagrams. And when the volunteers were lying down they solve the problem ten times faster than when they were standing up. The theory is that when you lie down it slows down, the brains production of chemicals, which can actually help you think more creatively and make connections between unrelated concepts. And that is something you should know. Do you have a Valentine to celebrate with this year lucky you if you do many people don't and many people are reminded around Valentine's Day of past loves who broke our heart. I suspect almost everyone at some point has had their heartbroken by someone. And if you've ever felt that feeling you know, how crushing and horrible. It can be yet. We often don't take it. Seriously. We toss out phrases like, oh, he just had his heart broken as if it's nothing is it nothing. What is a broken heart? What can you learn from it? And what's the best way to get over one guy? Winch is a licensed psychologist in New York. And he's author of a couple of really interesting books, including how to fix a broken heart. I guy welcome. Thank you very much for having me. So anyone who's had a broken heart knows what it is. But from a more clinical perspective is is. A broken heart are real thing. Oh, it's very much a real thing. A broken heart is a phone of grief. It's full of unsanctioned this enfranchised grief, and that it's not one that we tend to take very seriously, although we should but it's a form of loss. It's full of grief, and it impacts people as much as other films of grief. Do well. It is interesting that everyone gets their heart broken. It seems I I don't know if there's any statistics on it. But it seems to be a pretty common experience. And yet when you talk about it in a more clinical medical way, we give it another name, it's depression, or sadness or something. But heartbreak is not a medical diagnosis, and that's interesting, right because medical diagnoses, I mean, really very in a very wide. It's like what the moment we consider to be problematic. Let me keep up dating these things as you know. But if you think about the result of hot Riddick can Ren to people. Reading on functional. It can be as severe in its initial impact as the most severe clinical depressions, and yet while those things you can -pletely consider, you know, legit and the mental health is soda and comfortable by insurance into the vet if you'll heartbroken, and he'll literally a heart is ripped out of your gut. All you can do is be in bed and cry for a day. There's no organization that that feels no company no medical organization, psychological organization that feels that that is actually something that merits its own category or its own consideration. And it's remarkable that that's the case. How do you define a broken heart? I define a broken heart by anything that really causes a shock response of loss and grief and massive massive yearning that comes with it. The thing about heartbreak that makes it complicated. Is that we yearn for the person who broke hot in intense, intense ways, a brain chemistry, brain functions, really get altered in that moment and reflect a huge systematic, physical and psychological change that's happening in us in those moments. And so it's not just the reef and the loss. But it's the intense intense yearning that comes with it. Isn't it interesting how and it's probably happened to lots if not most people where there's someone in their life who. Not necessarily take for granted. But, you know, th they're not madly passionate about until they're told they don't that person doesn't want to be in their life anymore, and then that person becomes amazingly attractive, and that's really about the fact that a lot of walk around without really being fully appreciative of the things in the people. We have in lives until they've actually taken away, and it's always reminded to me to practice some kind of regular gratitude about those things and the people that you have that make your life good. But it's also true that we tend to value things once they gone often more than they do once we have done all once they hot it to get. So so when something is hot to get because it's gone. It seems like it might be sudden the get, you know, much more motivated to pay attention to it. And that's just thought of us. It seems to be human nature, and perhaps it serves some sort of evolutionary purpose. But it does compound the problem of when you feel sad that someone's broken, your heart. Amplifies it to such an extent that it. It's really all often debilitating. That is the case the other thing that happens though in pot Wyatt. So debilitating is the way online responds on a heart is broken. A mine's job is to keep us from home. Right. It's it's job is to revise was to. If something we did is very painful, very damaging. Let's make sure we don't do that again. And so when we experienced hot break, and it's very painful, a mine job is to say, oh, if that's painful, I'll make sure you won't forget how paying for this. So he won't make mistake again. But our job is to actually indeed and we've on so we can make the mistake again, quote, unquote, and find love, and then therefore a mind is working to keep the pain as shop as possible as present as possible to keep the person as fresh in thoughts to give them as much stage time in a brains as possibly can while up is legally the opposite. And unless we realized on. Booking at cross-purposes to what actual needs. We keep going down the wrong rabbit holes. And we'll keep responding to what got to us to do even though it will be absolutely the wrong and harmful thing to do in terms of ability to recover. So what's the best thing to do where do you where do you make the break and say, okay, I know, I'm my mind wants me to dwell on this. What do I do instead that that breaks away from the supposed to, but you have to be aware? I think this is true of all emotional injuries. Including heartbreak, you have to be aware that you'll mind is not going to serve you. And you have to know that when you you know, you is lay open. It's being in the morning and you'll remembering oh, my ex's cousin's wedding was last night. Maybe I'll go and Scala that cousins Instagram because the other guy blocked me, you know, and you find some good excuse to spend three hours four hours, you know, soaking somebody on social media, and it seems like a great reason at the time on the you need to be able to catch it and go. Oh, no. No. No, no. That's just me trying to, you know, get more of a taste of what that relationship felt like when I had it, and we do that. Because the way brain works responds to break the way heroine had brain responds to a withdrawal. We just become intensely intensity needy of that fix of having some kind of taste of what that felt like. And if you don't have the actual person can have the methadone of the memories of them seeing them in an image, except that's really bad for us. We need to get off the heroin, quote, unquote, and they need to be able to re-engage in a and rebuild our lives. And so when you say what can people do one of the things you need to do is the to reformulate what life is about? Now, you know, then that relationship anymore. You'll no longer we. So now, you're an eye against who is that. I are you the same person you were before that relationship updates. You need to do to your life to your identity to you know, the people. Around you to what, you know, do hubby's do everything. So we really have to pay attention. This is a rebuild of our lives. Both in the external, and the internal and we actually have to focus on that rebuilding job in that immediate aftermath when your heart just gets crushed in the moments in minutes days after you hear I don't wanna see you anymore. What's the best advice, surround yourself by people who care about you get that emotional and social support had the beginning. But pretty much the beginning trying to come up with a good understanding of the best one you have about why it ended and tried to come to terms with the fact that it has with all forms of grief. We tend to do the bargaining right in heads, even when someone dies. Oh. But if only I had done this maybe would have caught it in time. And we always do that bargaining. The the counterfactual thinking of what if trying and get to the point and try working on that reality to absorb the reality of this. Is over because that will help you move full more quickly and on wanted to wrestle with that. And to deny that and every time the phone, you know, the beeps with a message to think maybe it's them, and they changed their mind. Probably not that very very rarely happens. It's interesting at least, it's my observe -ation that people tend to take their own broken heart. Very seriously. It hurts so much. You can't possibly understand what I'm going through. But we look at other people's heartbreak through a lighter lens, particularly I think maybe with kids teenagers middle school kids who are perhaps coming out of a first romance and getting their heartbroken, which hurts a lot. But we tend to minimize the impact we tend to I think minimize it more for adults because at least with teenagers. We think it goes with the territory. Oh, just discovering. What that feels like except when you discover what that feels like when you're a teenager. And then it happens. Diva new v. As it turns out. Oh, it sucks just as badly. It's just as painful, and so we tend to be on sufficiently unsympathetic and not compassionate enough. At all ages. You know, in other words, somebody gets the flu can go. Yeah. The flu happens. It's bad. It really is debilitating. When you have it. It's nothing nothing to it's a health miss gets a health concern, people take all kinds of drastic steps when the hunt is broken. So Tom is one of them, but also desperate measures of I'm going to sell my house and buy a ring to prove my love. She just dumped you what are you doing? That's the thought you'll have. And so, you know, it's a big deal. I'm speaking with guy winch, he is a psychologist who practices in New York, and he's author of the book how to fix a broken heart. You know, this is the time of year when a lot of people and their and their New Year's resolutions kind of go their separate ways. But here's one New Year's resolution that you can. Really stick with and be happy about its brushing and maintaining your oral health with a quip electric toothbrush. I use a quip every day, and I'm never going back to a plain old toothbrush. Why? Because the quip has sensitive sonic vibrations for ineffective clean that's gentle on your gums because often people brush too hard, and some electric toothbrushes are just too abrasive. 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Everyone is different and circumstances often very different if you'll someone that hasn't dated in seven years, and then you had two months of dating with this month with one person. And you said, oh, finally this is going to now happen to me. That's wonderful. And then that gets taken away and you'll facing another leak period of like, I don't know what I'm gonna meet the next person because it took seventy s to meet that one that's gonna be a huge impact from a two months relationship as opposed to somebody who's been a serial relationship Essen in another one ends, and it's very very difficult, but they will find someone else. They tend to those people around them that are in the circumstance by which they can meet. People. So it the circumstance Mata's almost is not just individual personalities because Julie people get Todd broken sometimes multiple times in their lives. And it's not that one circumstances. Exactly. Like the same. They experienced them in the same way. It can come at a time and in place, and in a way that can be more or less damaging and more or less debilitating. And there's a lot of it depends when it comes to that how bad it is. Do you think that when people finally do move on that the baggage of the broken heart has a tendency to creep into the next relationship? Yeah. That's often the case often when people get divorced, for example, they go and look for the person that's not like my ex. And then they get very chagrined because then they join all these, you know, apps in the suspect and the app is going to suggest as their ex because still consistent in their taste. And that happens so many times that somebody gets divorced and the next person to the app recommends is you should try this woman just devotchka. But we we often want to go, and do, you know better than differently than, but it depends? If there's a gap between those those events might not and sometimes when the hottest broken, they wanna go and find the clone of the person who broke a hot and give it another try with that Glenn. So what I have to go and look for the exact same kind of person. At least if often physically or with attribute, so Korea putz, and that can equally be funny because whenever you're going for a specific thing, you'll actually going to sign up something, maybe when you shouldn't and toss on things that you should not possum. So it just limits are thinking not options in unnecessary way. You'd seems to happen, and perhaps one of the reasons broken heart is so painful is because it seems to happen out of the blue. I don't wanna see you anymore. I think we should see other people are I met someone else or something. And as. Where did that come from wanting to keep in mind is this when people break up when people say, okay, I'm out whether it's in a relationship short term one, certainly if it's in a longtime one or marriage, they have been thinking about that way before they verbalize it. They have been going through a psychological exit process or distancing most of the process for a long time before they'll actually vocalise it, that's very very standard. And so when you hit it for the first time as the person who's hot broken, you think but just lost weekly on vacation. And they seemed happy how can that possibly be? And the answer is. Yeah, they'd nothing to tell you that thinking leaving. They will go through the motions of regular life until they're ready to tell you whenever that is. And very often they'll thinking, oh, that's gets the vacation not ruin that. And then and then I'll tell them, but what happens to the peasants hottest broken. It's like well something must have changed in the last four days. What was it? But nothing has it's been changing the possible months. You know? So you hear it after it's been pretty well, processed on behalf of the other person. They are the very different point than you in getting ready to leave this relationship. They already by the time. There's nothing to talk about it all getting ready. And so that has been going on for a long time. You have to understand that you haven't been privy to that boasts us any might have feelings about that. But that they it's you being brought into the loop at the much later stage. I guess the the eternally optimistic advice for for this is that you know, you will get over it because people pretty much do get over it, don't they most? Some don't though I mean in other words, you really have to do some work to get over it you and I keep talking about a recovery process. It is a recovery process when you have severe physical injury, you might get over it. But you probably going to need some physical therapies, you know, constant attention. This is true of heartbreak this is to of any most injury. But certainly of heartbreak as well. You have to manage that recovery. Not be on autopilot and just wait for it to happen and to manage. It means to limit the damage and things that can really interfere with your ability to to recover like stoking hillocks on social media say oh spending hours going through the great memories that you had together when you're trying to get over a person. And no, you can't be friends with them note right away, and the vast majority of people if you wait long enough once you're over them, you don't necessarily want to be friends with them. So but taking over means that you have to repay your life. You have to they are gonna be empty things in your apartment with it. Possessions used to be and they and you'll weakens are gonna look different because you don't have a partner with whom you spend them now and you'll socialize is going to be different. And who you text joined the day to say how you look they is going is going to have to be someone else. And the idea is you need to find substitutions and ways to fill these voids and ways to reformulate your life and you'll see. Sense of who you are. And what you're about. And that's an active process and time does some of that. But slowly, and well, you have to contribute so time helps but you have to make it make that recovery. Go more quickly and more efficiently and more comprehensively by the actions. You take the ones you avoid taking what about the action of obviously not the next day but relatively soon to, you know, get back on the horse get another get another mate. I have a guideline about that which most people don't agree with or look at me sideways when vocalized, but I say almost not joking knees that if you can get through your date without talking about your ex all bursting into tears, you might be ready. That's the test. Yeah. I mean, it's a low bar. But maybe low bar is better. You know, because then, you know, and and you know, you can feel like your heart isn't in it. And certainly I wouldn't portray to the person who's on that date with you that I'm ready to jump into relationship right now. You don't have to say that or otherwise, you just don't touch it. But but the idea is get that seal of because there's nothing like going on a few dates to remind you that yes, this is going to be the path forward. And even if it's not necessarily an appetizing one that have that reality to get a sense of. Hey, there are the people there for me to meet even if I'm not necessarily that opened all that interested in going, you know, fully full at right now to remember that is out there that that exists and to remember that you can be in that world and even present yourself decent, and maybe even have a better time than you would sitting home, and and and and going over a pint of ice cream and binge-watching whatever net flicks. Like that might be a better thing for you to do. Now, if it makes you. Absolutely miserable. Then don't wait a little bit longer. But you don't have. But most people say, I I'm not ready when I think they absolutely radio point. Oh, I'm going to be off dating for a year. Now for what what do you think you're gonna be more confident in a, you know, you'll be more anxious, and you'll be more demoralized because now you've really been out of it. And now you'll really lonely, so you're more desperate. So it's not necessarily a great idea to, you know, wait until you feel absolutely amazing part of getting to the amazing is putting us back in that world. I see that a lot where people after a break-up decide, you know, off the market have no interest in dating for a while. But as you say to what end what's the purpose of that? That's an anxiety response. Right. That's a fear of I I'm really worried about being rejected because I'm feeding so shaky etcetera etcetera, and I understand that. And it feels terrible to be rejected and go in the first date. But if you go on a first date, knowing I am barely ready, and I'm certainly not ready to jump into relationship. So even if this person ends up, you know, rejecting me. It's not as if that would have gone somewhere in the but let me go and interacting may. And look once in a while you do that. And you meet somebody who's so amazing. You clicked so well with people say to me like, you know, I really good time on that date. It's amazing and miserable again 'cause I got home and missing my ex. But that was actually a good time. I for now we talked and I was distracted. And I didn't think about my thought this is an interesting person. So, you know for those experiences it's worth it. Well, this is a subject that people. Don't talk about a whole lot or talk very deeply about. And yet it is a fairly universal experience to have your heartbroken, and it is painful, right? And the people around him have to understand that this person is going to be compromised emotionally for a while. I either going to be suffering for a while. And and therefore they need support not judgment. Oh said ridicule, but they need support and understanding and compassionate encouragement to. Build an ice. And that compassionate. I think if we could have more of it for people who are heartbroken would do other good, well as we discussed it's a pretty universal experience. I don't know too many people who haven't had their heart broken who aren't in the middle of a heartbreak or who one day won't get their heartbroken. So it's good to get some some of the science behind the best ways to fix it guy. Winches been my guest. He's a licensed psychologist in New York. He's the author of a couple of books, including how to fix a broken heart. There's a link to the book in the show notes. Thank you guy. Thank you so much having me with the quicksilver car from Capital One. You earn unlimited one point five percent cash back on every purchase unlimited unlimited. All. Anyway, you said only unlimited one point five cashback on every purchase just sound capital. One butts in your wallet. What's in your wallet? Plus in your wallet capital? One Bank USA a. Every single day of your life. You use numbers and math multiple times. And yet many of us claim not to like math. But it's hard and not particularly useful in everyday grownup. Life someone who would disagree with that is Alex bellows, Alex is a writer and broadcaster in the UK who writes a lot about math and numbers. He's written several books, including Alex's adventures in number land. He also has some other projects, including a book of handcrafted Japanese puzzles called puzzle ninja and a series of books called soccer school, which teaches kids about the world through soccer. And he's here to take us on a fascinating journey through the world of numbers. Hi, alex. Welcome to be. So do we know where numbers came from do? We know the origins of those numbers that we use commonly every day what we? What we can do can get back to the earliest civilization that we know that had simple for numbers, and we can say, well, that's where number started. And that would be about six seven thousand years ago in Suma, which is where Iraq is now and they develop the first system for numbers which had symbols and those have different words for those numbers. So interestingly, the very first words it was ever used for the number one was the same as the win for man. And the very first would use for them to with the wood for women. No one knows why this the case. But that's what we why do you suppose that some people love math love numbers in the whole concept of that. And others of us like run the other way. I imagine it has to do with aptitude. I mean, if you're good at something you're going to like it more than if you suck it something. But math in numbers seem to divide people between those. People who like numbers and math and those people who don't. Yeah. I mean, I think everyone has their own personal story. My personal story that I was getting numbers. I enjoyed it. And when school bike when I was a kid if you're good at something masters be getting something right or wrong. And I would get it. Right. And so I was told I was good. So I liked it. Because it made me feel good. It also kids who don't get it. Right. And they don't like it because it told right from the beginning that his role, and it's one of the subjects where there is. Right. And there is a rogue and no one likes being told that that Roe. There's also the whole sort of social cultural attitudes towards math. You know? It's fine to say, oh, I'm terrible at sums can post do that. I'm rubbish math so much a badge of own people say that. Whereas people would never say ho Haikal raid that I'm terrible to reading right. But there does seem to be a shift. It used to be that, you know, math and science those were nerdy subjects that, you know, cool kids than get involved in. But now, I mean, you've got shows like the big bang theory that that celebrate math and science you've got movies about Stephen hawking. And and you know, he was a rock star. I mean, this there is a shift. Absolutely. I don't say who all the icons of the modern day. Steve Jobs like well. Biggest nut Stephen whole king. Another huge nut hero. We have kind of nerd role models in a way that that we didn't before I can that can only be a good thing. One of the things you talk about that. I think is really interesting is this whole concept of zero the fact that we have a symbol that represents nothing. And that that's a fairly recent concept in math, and yet imagine trying to do math of any sort and not having some sort of Representative for nothing for zero zero has not been around since the beginning of numbers. It really hasn't until and five zero. It was invented or invented it kind of emerged in India one in hall fastened years ago before then it wasn't easy. Right. So the first people to realize that you can actually have. Describe some snow that with India, and what I find fascinating about one again in India is the Indian already that time had these spiritual ideas of nothingness, Nevada dude of nothingness, you need to kind of chief Nevada, you need to get rid of all your worldly, desires and cravings, and then just kind of disappear, but having that nothing is something the reason why we need hero. He's because it makes county so much easier and makes arithmetic so much easier. The reason why we can't count calculate is that we have developed a positional way of describing numbers. We have one called two units position. The unions. Call them one position for ten the one for hundreds etcetera, etcetera rid a positional system. You need a symbol when there's nothing in that position. And that's the zero is. But just imagine. I mean, really stop and think about what if there was no zero how hard life would be. I mean, it would be so difficult to figure out anything. Everything becomes so much more long winded and complications because you to rephrase everything in such a way to avoid it. I mean and make sure zero will the the problem is there have so kind of infiltrated. They lives because we have numbers everywhere. And we take it for ground zero is a number that it's almost impossible to extract and one final thing I want to say about zero which is interesting. I realized when I started looking into it is that Lovie the new movie that we use for one to nine have changed loss since they fest emerged zero has always been suckle always. And he's the first thing. By maybe that's because it's like a hole with nothing there. But that's the misunderstand. The origin zero the circle represents sort of a tunnel everlasting circle of life and actually represents kind of Infinity. So every time you see zero every time you write the died. You're actually thinking about Navonna one of the things I think is so interesting is whereas the world has a lot of different written and verbal languages. There's really only one number system everybody on the planet more or less uses our number system, and it is a base ten number system. It it's it's based on the number ten that wasn't the case the very full system. The system used by the Samaritan six thousand years ago with sex adjustable base sixty okay, basically, it's kinda seems crazy but site they was based sixty that's why we have to this day, sixty seconds in a minute sixty minutes now. But as a bit too complicated. So when the other people have come along be other different basis than around the world, but the one which is the most sensible really is based hand, and it's not because there's anything medically good about ten is because Egypt for us to learn because we got ten fingers on a on by the hand of the five and one five on the other. So what did we start counting ten is easy thing to count? So we've chosen ten for amateur McCall reasons were we to have chosen the best base for counting reasons. Our medical reasons for what is going to make mess easier. Kathy easier. We would have chosen twelve. So we would count one two three four five six seven eight nine. Deck which is people like to kind of like that with who van which is be single digits for what ten L, she's the one was us eleven and then twelve would be one zero. Okay. So that's how decimal system would what we would have twelve digits rather than having ten. Why is that better? So the thing about multiplication tables won't the multiplication tables of Egypt wants to learn in base ten well two times tables daddy's that he people six eight ten who also the five times table today's easy five ten fifteen twenty why too in five easy. Well, that's because two and five divide into ten. In other words, the timetables are easy are the ones are devises over the base. If we had base twelve to divide into twelve three dividers twelve. Food divides into twelve and six divides into twelve which means the two times table the three times table, but full-time stable. I'm the six times day would be incredibly easy talk about randomness. Because it's one of those mathematical ideas that I think people think they understand that perhaps they don't easiest way to show people that understand randomness is to ask them to imagine flipping a coin you're gonna flip the coin. But I don't have a just imagine it and tell me is it heads titles. And if you get someone say thirty results over the magic coin, and then you compare that with what you actually get a coin flip it, and you'll have the real causes the real coin tosses random, you'll see that the one imagined by human is very different for example. It's very rare that if you're. Flicking in your head that you will have three heads of three titles in a row. He think oh, well, I've done it enough. You know heads has has often enough head eleven tales now. So in other words, you're thinking there's a memory that you sort of thinking, well, if I too much of that I'm going to have one or the other night. But obviously the coin that you're flipping has no memory and is more likely than those in thirty confidence. You'll get a row by the full heads or tails, there are ways that humans. Misunderstand this to make kind of bad decisions, for example. But probably the most obvious example is on the slot machines. You think this machine has not paying out for awhile? It's ju- it's used to pay out. But now it's not to pay at the probability for paying out. Anyone time is exactly the same. That's why they're so dictates because you kind of think, well, it must remember that having paid them for a while is gonna pay out didn't Steve Jobs. Have a problem with randomness back in the days of the ipod when he first when you put it on shuffle. Can you tell that imagine a black piece of paper and say we're going to just randomly put there? If he was around put this blank piece of paper, you wouldn't get a nice sort of gray shading of dogs. You would get some clusters of dots. And some bits of the white paper where there's nothing there. So randomness is not older like that. And when the aren't you ipod I had their shuffled if it was perfectly around them, you expect it to be clusters. So you would expect it to play. Sometimes the same song several times in the road. Because it's not remember each time. It plays that song. It's not remembering the played it. Love time before is just the most chums it might play it each time and people started to complain, and they write in and they said, you know, whenever I put my ipod on it plays just for my Led Zeppelin album, not for my black Sabbath album. And then is perfectly predictable within randomness. And so they Steve Jobs changed the shuffle to not really be random tool, but to be more of a selective going through the you will Konta logo the songs you've got on the list and not repeating them. And that has not random because if it was random you'd end up getting clusters you'd end up getting repeats. So people think that putting something on shuffle is random, but what you're really getting is deliberate variety. Correct. Correct. You know, we really what my whole randomness. We want variety you talked earlier about zero and what a novel concept that was when it was first introduced that. You would have a symbol that stands for nothing. So I would imagine that the negative numbers had to be even more perplexing people. How could you actually have a negative number of something and? And yet, it it turns out negative numbers or minus numbers are really important. Mine is numbers early. Few hundred years old. They were in the same way that people will have we have a number zero. I'm the how can we have a number of something, which is mine is I what is the minus number main and actually minus numbers confuse a lot of people. I think that's one reason why for example in enlists when you see the the numbers of fluids gang up is one two three four five when he go dad never goes modest one Muncie, minus three those that in the UK, very ready. It will say basement or lower grounds and then basement and then garage, wh whatever, and I think that's because having the numbers coming down, and then stop going up again, but they're actually going further Dan is really quite hard to understand. And the you understand the history of. That you know, they was even just a a hundred years ago. They were mathematicians who are writing books that have no negative numbers in them because they thought the negative numbers. How can they exist? And then you follow on from that you thinking. Well, there's consented math, which all square roots of minus one like how can minus one have a square because whenever you square anything you becomes positive and the square roots of minus one such amazing idea that without it. We wouldn't have modern physics. We wouldn't have kind of electronics is such a powerful idea quickly something you talk about. It's really interesting. Everybody knows what dyslexia is and it causes people to have trouble with words. But there's a number version of that. There's people who have the same problem or more or less the same problem with numbers as people with dyslexia have with letters and words, and it's called the dyscalculia. Talk about that. I think about five percent of the population have dyslexia. So everyone knows dyslexia is studied a lot. 'cause Calcuta is a number quivalent of that people who see numbers, we'll see the symbol for numbers. And just it just doesn't go in. They just there's some kind of blindness to it. They just don't get it. And this is happens to affect probably about the same about five percent of the population. And it's a lot less well researched. And if you do find numbers really really difficult, they just sort of don't get away. And you just don't quite gross them. You feel blind by them. It could be the case that you have this calculator and just go Q. There is nothing about mathematical ability. You can have Britain mathematicians who are little bit discount cubic when it comes to actual numbers. And if you do this co Q to do your children might we just calculate if you look online there. Little things that can help you assess whether you are and give you strategies on how to cope with numbers in. In life. Well, as I used to say to my parents, and as my son says to me about the math. He learns in school. You know, this is never going to be helpful to me in real life. I'll never need to know this stuff. But in fact, numbers and math are integral parts of our lives, and it is important. And and in many ways, really fascinating, Alex bellows has been my guest Alex written several books, including Alex's adventures in number land. He's also got a book of handcrafted Japanese puzzles called puzzle ninja and a series of books called soccer school that teaches kids about the world using soccer. There's a link to Alex's book in the show notes. Thanks, alex. Appreciate you. Joining me. One of great doesn't it? It is interesting that so many of us go to the supermarket, and we comparison shop we look for bargains. We use coupons were very price conscious when we shop for food and yet so much of that food ends up getting thrown away. In fact, it's estimated that a family of four could save about fifteen hundred dollars a year by being more careful about the food. They buy that's over a hundred dollars a month about forty percent of the food. America produces goes to waste when you separate out households from commercial entities like restaurants. It's about twenty percent of what we purchase at the supermarket that eventually finds its way into the trash. This is according to Dana gutters. Who's a senior scientist at the national Resources Defense Council and author of the waste free kitchen. Handbook nobody wakes up in the morning wanting to waste food. It happens in little bits and pieces. According to Dana gunners where so price conscious when we go shopping. But when we get the food home and eventually throw out say a quarter of the cheese. We just bought we don't realize that's the same dollar fifty. We were trying so hard to save when we went shopping, and now it's just down the drain, and it all starts with being more deliberate about what you buy. And that is something you should know. Join us follow us. We're on social media on Facebook, Twitter and linked in I'm Mike Carruthers. Thanks for listening today to something you should know.

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Where Great Ideas Come From & How Diet Affects Your Mood and Mental Health

Something You Should Know

47:30 min | Last month

Where Great Ideas Come From & How Diet Affects Your Mood and Mental Health

"Today on something. You should know if you have blue eyes, you're related to me, I'll explain how then where do great new ideas and innovation come from sometimes it's predictable. But many times. Great innovations come in strange ways and I tell the story of the Pill Camera, which is a thing slowing in Tex- picture insides we adopted to look at it and it came about after conversation over the garden fence between a gastroenterologist and a guided missile designed. Also, why less is more when it comes to bragging on social media and did you know what you eat can affect your mental health? Understand. This is that all these different foods whether they good for you or the bad for you can impact your gut bacteria and this then impact the effect on your brain in a good way or a bad way all this today on something you should know. Something you should. Fascinating Intel. The world's top experts and practical advice you can use in your life today. something. You should now Mike carruthers. I. This part of the PODCAST I think I've mentioned this before in a previous episode. This part of the podcast of me talking to you right now is actually more or less. The last thing I do before an episode is finished. So although it's at the beginning of the PODCAST, it's the last thing I do, and so I already know what's coming in the rest of this podcast because I've already heard it and I think you'll agree it is a particularly good episode and let's get to it. We start today by talking about your is they are truly fascinating and here are some things about your is you probably didn't know. According to studies defined limbaugh rings can make you more attractive. The limbaugh ring is that dark round line around your Iris and apparently you're more likely to develop a crush on somebody who shows them prominently. The muscle is the fastest reacting muscle in your entire body. It contracts in less than one one hundredth of a second. There are approximately seven million cones and one hundred and thirty million rods in your retina that respond to light. They help you determine color and detail. Around six, thousand to ten, thousand years. Everybody had Brown eyes, and then the first blue eyed baby was born and all blue eyed people since then are related to that first baby and to each other. Your eyes can see about ten million different colors. But if you're part of that one percent of women with a rare genetic mutation, you're able to see one hundred, million colors. Both sides of both parents, families can all have Brown eyes yet still produce child with Blue Eyes. and. Your eye color isn't set until you're two years old and that is something you should know. When it comes to innovation, we live in exciting times. It seems like new ideas and prove moments to existing products and services come out at a rapid rate and often from unexpected people in unexpected places. So just how does innovation work? Where do great ideas come from and what's the difference between innovation and invention? These are all really good questions that can help us all better understand how great ideas grow and prosper, and one of the best people to talk on the topic is Matt. Ridley he's a journalist writer and businessman. He is a member of the House of, Lords, in the United Kingdom and he is author of the book how Innovation Works and why it flourishes in freedom. I met welcome. Thanks for having me on the show. Sure. It seems to me that when you look at innovation and where new ideas and products and services come from that, one of the things that makes it. So fascinating to look at is because things often seemingly come out of the blue or they come from places that you would never expect. Which I would imagine, makes it also difficult to study innovation and find any kind of common thread or guiding principles on what makes innovation work? That's. That's right. Tell the story of the Pill Camera, which is a thing you swallow. It takes pictures insides for your doctor to look at, and it came about after compensation over garden fence between a gastroenterologist and a guided missile designer That's quite a nice example of very unexpected combination of talents coming together and doing something something different a an interesting. Yeah. Well, that's the perfect example. Two guys talking across offense. They come up with a great idea, but but just coming up with a great idea. Isn't enough right. Does also the. Difference. Between. Invention and innovation in the sense that a lot of hard work is turning a bright idea into something that's practical, affordable and reliable, and that people actually want to get held of a what I call that innovation essentially is turning inventions into practical realities, and that's often neglected. People think it'll you have to do is design it, but trump in the world will be to path to your door. Doesn't happen that way. You've got to make that much trump reliable, affordable, and available again when when you've got two guys talking across a fence and they come up with this great idea, it is so random, it is. So who would've thought that? It seems almost impossible if not a frankly pointless to try and figure out innovation. It's not. that. Random. Rule. It happens a heck of a lot more in silicon valley than it does in the middle of Central Africa or somewhere like that, and a thousand years ago. It happened a lot more in the Yangtze valley than in Silicon Valley. So the something about certain places at certain times, the Bernice. On Lee, the city states the ancient Greece. Modern in Victorian Britain, you know there's there's something about each of these places that they get together the critical mass where the innovations happen, they attract the right people. People have an opportunity to share their ideas in a way that they don't in other places. There is money available or is energy available Larry's? Talent available to help them So the non random in that sense, it's also non random in terms of which sectors get innovated. So the last fifty years have seen extraordinary changes in computing and communication, but very disappointing changes in transport, and you get a feel for that. If you go back to the fifties and look at their ideas about what the twenty first century would look like it's full of routine space travel, supersonic flights, personal jet packs, Jar Copters for all. There's very little about mobile telephones and things like that. So. You know for some reason, we've hit limits that make it very hard to innovate in transport. Well, we made it more reliable and affordable, but we've not made it faster. Whereas we've made. And computing much much faster as well as a more affordable over the last fifty years. and. So there are things you can say about why that happened about what's going to happen while does know much us about what happens next because because it's also surprisingly unpredictable? Well, it is interesting that I imagine that there are new innovations in all kinds of industries and all kinds of technology. But I think when most people when I think of innovation I think of. Computers Electronics digital innovation seems to be what? I think of, and I think most people think of when they think of innovation. That's partly because. Digital Innovation is permission Louis. Whereas if you want to build a flying car, you've got to get got get licenses from pretty well everybody and it's You know there's a very heavy regulatory hurdle to get over, which makes it very expensive whereas if you building a new social media platform LIZ radio. Nothing you have to do to get permission is the point of talking about innovation writing books about innovation to just shine a light on it that who isn't this interesting or is it to come up with a recipe? I'm more interested in the former I. Just think innovation. Itself is a very interesting topic. It's the reason we are living lives of extraordinary prosperity compared to our ancestors. It's the reason we have technology and rabbit and rocks don't have technology. It's it's one of the huge themes of the modern world, and so I just wanted to understand it. But I deliberately set out to do something rather sort of bottom up here in other ways to tell stories about innovation about many many different kinds of innovations. Hi, tech runs low-tech ones. No. Tech. Ones virtual ones. And always kind of things, and then see if the common themes said to let the evidence speak for itself rather than sort of going with a theory and try and make the evidence, fit my theory, and so what are some of those common threads? What are you when you look at different things being invented an innovative? What do you see that they have in common? There's a really interesting phenomenon cold simultaneous invention whereby the moments was invented by four different people independently around the same time. The Light Bulb was invented by twenty one different people independently in the eighteen seventies. The search engine was invented by hundreds of different people independently in the early nineteen, Ninety S. Without lost example, you can see very clearly what's going on which is not that there is some deity out there in the sky who is sudden, they injected the phrase search engine into the brains of lots of different people at the same time. But that. The the contributing technologies that you need. A ripe that ready to come together. In the case of the search engine. The Internet has arrived. People are going to be exploring the Internet. It's kind of obvious that. Devices that helps them find what they want to look for in the Internet are going to be important and possibly lucrative while it's obvious in retrospect. But did anyone in the late eighty? Say You know once we've got this Internet thing up and running. I'm, GONNA. Make a lot of money out of search engines. Almost nobody did that in fact, Sergei? Brin Larry. Page the two people who made the most money out of search engines. Didn't even think that's what they were doing. They thought they were cataloging the Internet. They didn't realize they were inventing search engine for a surprisingly long time. They say that themselves. So the surprising. Phenomenon here where it looks very obvious in retrospect what comes next, but it doesn't look a tool obvious. What comes next when you're there in the moment looking forwards, and so from a broader perspective that you have taken, what is it? You can say about innovation in general one, it's more gradual than we think we tend to think of it as disruptive innovation that suddenly changes will actually if you look closely does a lot of hard what goes in before the disruption, a lot of hardware guys in off to the disruption. It's evolutionary in the sense that there is descent with modification. Each technology gives rise to another technology and so on. You have to go through the steps and runs a sort of trial and error phenomenon that is very like natural selection. There are lots of ideas thrown out there some survive in some done Google glass was a failure Ya. Google, itself was a success. It's serendipitous. We've already touched on how you get these strange meetings of ideas that produce new ideas. It's recumbent. Every single idea that every single technology that we have is basically a combination of other technologies. It's got this Guy Fascinating Cycle whereby it tends to disappoint in the first few years, and then it exceeds expectations after that so. Roy Amara was a computer scientist in silicon valley in the nineteen sixties who said. A new technology Exceeds expectations in the long run. But it. We underestimate its impact in in the long run, but we overestimated impact in the short run, and I think that's very interesting. I think about the incident I, you know by the end of the nineteen nineties, quite a lot of us were saying. I don't know I'm not sure about ECOMMERCE. It's Snot really that interesting is not gonNA work. COM, make it function ten years later, nobody's saying that. So this is this is sort of takeoff phenomenon that is quite important. We're talking about innovation and where it comes from and we're talking with Matt Ridley, he's author of the book how Innovation Works and why it flourishes in freedom. One thing. I. Know I'm really good at is getting other people hooked on best fiends. Best fiends is this fun exciting puzzle adventure that you can experience anytime anywhere. You don't even need an Internet connection. I've gotten so many people to play it. Have you tried it. You really should try it my wife and son play it, and I think my wife's more into it than I am because it's so much fun. I'm on level eight, hundred and something, and the game is all about these cute characters you collect as you go in each level is a little more challenging and adds new twists and turns to the puzzles. and. The goal is to defeat the slugs with your bug characters and you can earn diamonds and other things to evolve your bugs and make them stronger. Best. Is really craze. Now I, mean there have been over one hundred, million downloads I play when I'm waiting in the car for someone or sometimes in the morning when I'm waiting for the coffee brew, it's just a lot of fun best fiends has thousands of levels already with new levels, events and characters added every month. It is hours of fund right at your fingertips and you can even play offline with over one hundred, million downloads and tons of five star reviews. Best fiends is a must play download best fiends free on the apple APP store or Google play. That's friends without the our best fiends. So Matt, when you say that innovation has this kind of false start where people over hype it and it's a kind of a disappointment, does that tend to be? More, digital kinds of innovation. It seems like if you invent a better mousetrap, it's either gonNA worker at dozen, it's not going to get better. It's it it. This is it. Well. No I think you're right that because what you're talking about is the mousetrap having already been invented in someone coming along inventing a better one. That's quite late that sort of mature technology. But if you think about something like genomics. Okay. Pretty. Well, exactly twenty years ago, months ago, twenty years ago. Bill Clinton and tiny blad joint press conference to announce the sequencing of the human genome, and if you read speeches from the that day they extraordinarily. Utopian. They say this is the beginning of the end of disease. This is when we start to kill cancer. This is the most important breakthrough in all of human history in the long run I think they're going to be right. But if you think about what genomics is delivered in terms of new medicines today, it's pretty disappointing and that's not a not an electronic technology Another example is airplanes by the late nineteen twenties. The idea that you could build planes strong enough to fly over the oceans had largely been dismissed. Everybody thought, right? Well, you can build planes up to a certain size and you can use them in wolf air over the trenches and you can do acrobatics in them, but frankly would never really gonNA, use the much to get across the oceans at least not with many passengers cargo on board, we're going to have to rely on ships for that, which is why there was a lot of shipbuilding around the nineteen thirty. It's only. Twenty to thirty years off to that that we start to say hang on, we can build aluminum fears lodges that enabled us to fly lots, passengers across oceans. Don't you think there's some resistance to innovation that people say they like the new thing, the new shiny object, but people also say like things just the way they are they. There's even a longing for the good old days. Partly I suspect because I to adopt new innovation means a learning curve. You've gotta learn how to do the new thing when you you just mastered the old thing and all of this access kind of pushback against innovation. Actually, there's a huge amount of opposition to many innovations and it's often based on spurious imaginary problems that might come of technologies and a lot of organizations get very rich fanning the flames of this opposition and just ram the point home I, give the story of coffee, which was an innovation that came into Europe in the fifteen hundreds and pretty well wherever it went. People were furiously against it. And rulers in particular kept banning it or trying to ban it. They usually failed because people liked coffee. But there was the medical reasons you know this was going to dry up your kidneys or something There was commercial reasons. The line and beer industry didn't like it and there was social reasons. Kings didn't like coffee because people would gathering coffee houses and have animated conversations about whether kings were doing a good job and quite often they came to the conclusion that they weren't and Charles. The second of England was very explicit. Is that why he was banning coffeehouses 'cause he didn't like people to spreading fake news in them. Now. That's all quite familiar when we look at what's happened to genetic engineering agriculture in Europe, oil shale gas in Europe A. Nuclear power where we haven't been able to develop new technologies in the last fifty years. There is a there's a lot of vested interests and a lot of scam mongering that holds back innovation even today. In fact, more today I would say that in the post. Well I've certainly experienced that resistance to technology innovation myself and and I. Think everyone has in the case of you get a new computer or you get a new cell phone and in no time, there's a newer one that's cooler and better, and you really need to a new one and I think. I. Don't this one works fine. It does everything I needed to do I don't want to get a new one, but there is that that pressure to keep up and to get a new one and I push back and say, no, this is fine at least at least for now. Well that's a very interesting point because if you look at the history of the mobile telephone. Everybody drastically underestimated the attraction, the importance, the commercial significance of mobile funds. I mean, there's a famous prediction from a t and t I think it is they'll never be a market for more than about four million mobile phones in the world well, the date they put on that prediction One hundred million in the world and climbing. So again, and again, people adopted mobile phones and through old ones and adopted new ones at a terrific rate. Until recently. And if you look at what's happening now in the mobile, the smartphone market. People on no longer changing muddled. So fast because that finding that the the advantages of the next muddle, not as great as they would like them to be in. It's just not worth the bother. and. So, the the market projections for the number of sales of my events have. Had to be downgraded in recent years, and this is the first time this has happened. Yeah, well I, think that's true for a lot of innovation especially incremental innovation because, yeah, you can make the phone a little better. You can make the computer a little better, but you have to weigh that against the huge hassle. It is like if you get a new computer and you have to move everything over to the new computer and reload the programs and the set all the settings for your email or whatever it is, you have to do. It's a big hassle and nobody's ever figured out how to make that really easy to do so. So that's a big push back, I think to innovation. Well. I think. One of the reasons for that is because people want to keep you trapped on their own systems. I mean I migrated from. Microsoft. Bates, computers to apple buys computers about ten years ago and I was very, very nervous about doing so. Wasn't sure. I was doing the right thing and to start with. This is using, but quite quickly, I found actually that I preferred. The MAC based system is sort of more intuitive. So it can be done, but you're right. There was a lot of that. There's a big transactional huddle, Larry and changing and very few people have a vested interest in making that easier for you may to do. One of the things it's, it's always interested me about innovation is that you would think well, maybe you wouldn't think, but I I would think that if if somebody comes up with the next big thing. That there's something special about that person or that group of people that they'll likely come up with more next big things, but they almost never do you know Microsoft came out with what they came out with, but then they kind of fell behind apple kind of took off, and we we we haven't seen any big edge, the next personal computer kind of innovation from Microsoft, and maybe it's because they're very vested in their old big thing and want to keep that going. But but it it does seem to strike like lightning in terms of where it comes from. That's absolutely right, and the reason for that is because success breed size and size breeds. Complacency invested interest in the status quo and and general tendency not to be innovative. So, you know knock, you became the biggest mobile phone company out of nowhere, but then knock, it was so invested in voice that it didn't really see the data revolution, the mobile data revolution coming, and it was blown out of the water by basically apple and others and Kodak. Didn't invent digital photography actually invented. It just didn't see the point of it because they didn't want to cannibalize business in film and as you say you know Amazon invented online retail in his being spectacularly successful in his has also device to to keep being an innovative company and Jeff bezos ethos of you have to swing. Mace in order to occasionally succeed is an important part of that, but there will come a time. When is a great big clunky dinosaur and somebody else eats lunch. One of the interesting things about innovation to me and you touched on it in the beginning of our conversation is the difference between invention and innovation that for an innovation to really work and take hold and get people excited. You have to sell it because you know if if it's a brand new product. And we've lived this long without it. You're going to have to really convince me to buy it because I really somehow need it. I, haven't needed it till now. That's that's exactly right now, I mean the this is the point about the different state invention innovation is that the the innovator knows that he's gotta go at the end, sell the product. And he's got to get it into a foam where people wanted. Say where Edison was brilliant is that he he saw the need to do the hard grind of turning the pretty good prototype into the very good model. Henry Ford was the same So these guys were innovators not inventors. and. You're right. Marketing is a big part of that and it has resulted in US missing items. Some very good technologies because the inventors didn't know how to how to market the MO cell by find it. So interesting as you discuss that, we have this love hate relationship with innovation that we like things the way they are. We resist the new thing until we stop resisting the new thing. Then we love the new thing, and then we resist the next new thing and it. It's this resistance and giving in and adopting, and then resisting again, that is so fascinating Matt Ridley has been my guest. He is a journalist writer businessman, a member of the House of Lords in the United Kingdom, and he is author of the book how Innovation Works and why it flourishes in freedom. You'll find a link to his book at Amazon in the show notes. Thank you, Matt. Appreciate you being here. Thank you. Michael I really enjoyed the conversation and some very good points that you've made to. We all know that food can affect your physical health, but it also seems that your mental health is also affected by your. Diet. How you think the mood you're in, can all be influenced by what you eat or don't eat? That's according to a NATO. She's a board certified psychiatrist and director of Nutritional and lifestyle psychiatry at Mass General Hospital. She's author of the book. This is your brain on food. Doctor. Thank you much. It's lovely to be here. So explain what's going on here because I don't think people generally think about this about how I eat can affect my mind and my mood and how I think. So explain it if you would. Thanks Mike I, think that's a great question because most people know how to eat to lower their cholesterol or hard worry about hypertension. But many people don't think about the fact that food also can impact mood and mental health and actually several conditions, and the reasons will, that is as real connection between the guts and the brain. And by understanding that people didn't understand that what we eat does ultimately impact on emotional stage. Well, I. Think. It's hard for people to imagine that whatever food you choose some great food to eat like I, don't know blueberries that that if I eat some blueberries, somehow that's going to improve my mood or change the way I view the world, it seems A. A little, it seemed farfetched. So you're absolutely right Mike eating little handful of blueberries not GonNa immediately make you feel better, and that is because the positive impact of these healthy foods that have things like antioxidants and other good nutrients don't work immediately. But they start to do things like he'll your gut bacteria, they start to improve your emotional state over time. An interesting thing to mention here is that when we don't eat good foods, we may say we enjoy ice cream. I'm not saying you shouldn't eat ice cream just have it less often not every night. But when you eat ice cream, you may have a really good feeling. The truth is that that feeling is very real. It is the ongoing and more lasting effect that is negative for your. Your brain. So I think that sometimes we feel a little trapped by this because we think that eat something good something bad for supposedly as the doctors say you know we have a good feeling. So that doesn't make sense. The best way to understand this is that all these different foods whether they good for you or they bad for you can impact your gut bacteria and this then impacts. Impact the effect on your brain in a good way or bad way, and another thing to say is that when you eat a food that is more but less healthy, it kind of gives you a good feeling, but it's very short lived. It's much for the long term effect. It'd be worrying about his doctors and generally speaking is what people think of as a quote healthy diet is that what is a good mental health diet? Some of the principles are the same. But what I tried to do is really look at the research around specific foods that were linked to specific mental health conditions, and what I found is that there was not only for my clinical look, but they is not a lot of research to back up some of these interesting food. So a lot of people may know things. Things like eating a mega three, fatty acids and fatty fish like Salmon a good for you because they are good brain food ingredients. But it goes beyond just those healthy so-called foods. There's a lot more to it, and a lot of the nuance is around the foods that may negatively impact you because by disrupting the microbiome and feeding the bedbugs and out got. What happens is inflammation can get set up and that can lead to. With your mental health conditions. So it's it's What I hope people will understand that there's more to it than just a few healthy foods. I think the second thing to mention as well. Mike is that many doctors tell you to eat a salad, eat more fruits and vegetables, but they don't often explain why and the biggest issue is that those food beans, nuts, legumes, seeds, food, and vegetables have five of natural fiber and fiber actually fuels. Our got balance in a good direction. So when you make those recommendations, it's also based on. Improving your health, but. Importantly. From a mental health perspective, it really can improve other symptoms to. And so explain, and maybe pick a specific food. Explain, how how it works? It's going to help you your mental health. How long does it take? You have to eat just. Take an example in explain that show. So I'm going to choose something that people may be aware of, which is I mean to salmon because it, it is bay rich in several substances. But one of the leading substances is mega three fatty acids. Why? Why do we suggest that because it make it three fatty acids help. The different aspects of how are brains function in in a better way. They'd reduce inflammation, they have a rich antioxidant effect and they help ultimately to lower anxiety and improve mood and and research studies in human subjects have shown this quite quite. A in repeated fashion. And so you might eat you know one two servings of Salmon, which is about four to six ounce. FILET healthily prepared at least say twice a week, and that is a source of a good lean protein few. Well, the richness of how you are feeding your brain with the maitree, fatty acids as part of a regular healthy diet as well. Because then you transient everything you eat that can add to work for you or against you. So something with high sugars will work against you Off To consuming like this over time and and making healthier choices like say including salmon twice a week and your died you will stop to notice that your mood will improve possibly over a period of time, it could be one to two months. It's not the same effect as a prescription medication because he because mechanism is different, not pharmaceutical food is really meant to be an additional strategy that people can use. They should not be using. Eating Salmon only if severely depressed and suicidal, it's that then in that case, it would be something. They can do as well as seeing a doctor for medication, but we're these strategies work really well is when someone is not feeling good. They have mental health symptoms. They want to feel better. They may may not be seeing a doctor for medication, but it's It's a way that they can really boost their own mental health through something that they can do on their own, quite safely to the use of foods and the appropriate food different conditions. I would imagine people are thinking listening to that saying, okay. Well, but two servings of salmon every week for the rest of my life seems like an awful lot of salmon. That's GonNa, be maybe they don't like Salmon. It's I, think it's more that I'm I'm conveying a principle of of how to include a healthy food that actually brain healthy as well. I'm not saying it's GonNa cure depression, but it is something that can tote completely augment and approve symptoms of both mood and anxiety. So when you asked for. Food, I suggested one that I think most people would know and most people may have heard whether they eat it or not that it can be brain healthy. Now, there are things like fruits and vegetables that people often overlook. But some of those are very high quality foods that feed you in a good way because they help your balance, which ultimately helps your brain. So you know it, it may not be. Be Someone's fest choice. But then more options that that one can can break down for people as well. Give me a sense of like how much in what I mean by that is like if so if you're on a scale of one to ten, if you're feeling a two and we'd Salmon for six weeks twice a week, are you going to get to a three or you're going to get to a nine? And show. So I, the science is not there yet mike and and and we don't have food doses for mental health. But what we have a research studies that show that including these in your died going to boost your mood or low, you're inside and it's difficult to capture this type of information in a nutritional science on nutrition epidemiology study, because many of these us question as and they rely on people letting. Letting us, know what they ate. So unlike say a test for Fluoxetine, which is PROZAC, which can be done in a lab which can be done through a capsule food is quite different. So I, you know there's a lot of evidence behind about people eating these and showing improvement on mood scales on anxiety scales. For example, a study of medical students than many years ago, looked at giving them a mega three, fatty acids and. A real lowering off things -iety levels. So I would be I would be leading straight. I, said, well, it's. It's you know two answers or something, but there are general guidelines that provide as part of a nutritional psychiatry treatment plan for people, and it's highly individualized because everyone's got is so unique. Is it the case that these foods that you're talking about it and I wanNA give into more specifics in a minute but. These foods you're talking about, these are good for your mental health are the are there foods that are bad for your mental health or they just bad in the sense that if you eat those, you're not going to be eating these and therefore that's not so great. But are there are there foods that have been proven to actually turn your mood sour? Yes. There are and what what I've done is looked at different mental health conditions and tried to provide people with. Actual list of foods, they should what I call them as foods to embrace and foods to avoid. So for example, people don't realize that cured meats, things like Bacon Salami sausage and other cured meats have nitrates in them and nitrates have actually been shown to wasn't mood and you know they may be taking something in a sandwich to work every day And you know they may not realize that if they struggling with their mood, this could in. In fact, be worsening it. So they're actually more things beyond you know the things that we know as general. Health. Principles like Fried Foods For example, that'd be should be eating in moderation or try to avoid a sudden how conditions that we we know as general helps, and so there are some of those. But they're also very specific things that people should should be avoiding because they they drive mental health symptoms, the wrong direction depending on the condition. So. In addition to process, meet what else in terms of depression nitrates is one of them. Then you know we get the we have artificial sweeteners kit which have been shown to be problematic and worsened things like mood as well as anxiety, and so there are. There are a couple that you know. We suggest that if you really have a sweet tooth and you and it's hard to give that up to try those one of them is a reputable on the other Stevia. But in general, a lot of the everyday sweetness that we get have been shown to be on on multiple levels not helpful. things you know in anxiety things like moderating the been such as that have shown that avoiding gluten actually beyond individuals who just have senac disease is actually helpful for people with anxiety, and then you know there are things like. glutamate in. Certain foods. MSG. People know it has been linked to worsening symptoms of PTSD. So you know, I, think that when when people put the specifics together with symptoms, they might be having that they would would understand the things to avoid a little bit better. Is there a general diet prescription or is everybody into if you're not having mental health symptoms if you're not overly concerned that you're depressed or whatever is there just a general maintenance diet that that is recommended. So. That's a great question and and and even though it is highly personalized because each person's symptoms can be quite different. What I do like to suggest to people is A. Health healthy diet and always including a treat day of the week, and so the way that I say that to individuals, it's whether it's pizza ice cream, all your favorite food that you know someone unhealthy. Make sure that you enjoy that at least once a week in moderation using appropriate portion control but enjoyed. In start to correct your healthy diet by the vein next meal, and you know healthy healthy foods to include are the basic principles which including proteins. Well, source proteins, fruit vegetables, beans, not seeds, legumes, prebiotics, and probiotics, all of which will really help you in in the best direction forward, but it's not just mental health. My focus is mental health because I'm a nutritional psychiatrist but. The truth is by by embracing those foods and that type of died, it's going to lower things like inflammation in your body. Inflammation is linked to mental health conditions, but it's also linked to several other disorders in in in the body. These foods will bring back a high level of natural fiber, which is not found in meat seafood, but is found in the fruits and vegetables, and the other items I mentioned, and those help you got in a positive balance. By doing that. Again, you are helping every other condition that could be inflammatory in your body. And then the third thing is that these these they're also antioxidants in these foods which are going to help your brain and help your body, and unfortunately also an innumerable number of nutrients, vitamins, minerals, and especially fighter nutrients of which I think at last combat with twenty, five, thousand in different foods So so the every food that you consume has generally a healthy food has so many. Many more ingredients that are healthy for you. Most importantly to me is that it is going to improve your mental health symptoms. If you follow a generalized healthy plan included day, so you don't feel deprived and then You know. You might also help other conditions in your body and example of that. My is someone doing covert who was a businessman patient of mine who? Noticed that by not traveling as much eating airports eating fast food and having to be confined at home was had had had had a skin rash. He has mental symptoms for Jim Proving, but also had a skin rash which had started at the beginning of covert and really didn't have a chance to see a dermatologist just by eating at home eating home prepared meals, eating more healthy foods than fast foods, restaurants on the go and drinking less alcohol because he also admitted that when he was traveling, he was so stressed in his sleep is always disrupted that he needed to Gosselin to go to bed. He noticed that the skin rash improved. So this was an example of inflammation being set up in his body. That was probably largely related to the Diet that he was consuming and it improve. As. As Kobe discontinued that rationale gone away. So I think that. There are more than one example of this type of thing that I've seen in my practice and I would. Therefore encourage people if if they can to stop to stop to move toward healthier diet because the Diet that is called the fad diet, standard American Diet, you know mostly full of unhealthy ingredients for for our brains. Are there. Any foods beyond just the standard Prescription of eating healthy diet and. What you've talked about so far. But are there any like real standout foods like if you do anything at least eat? BLUEBERRIES or at least is there anything like that show. So base, definitely a good one. But I, when I go to with this is actually to spices because spices a calorie free salt fee easy to add flavor to your food and easier to transport for people to travel, and some of the best prices Dad have been shown to actually have a positive mental health effect, as well as other physical health effects and things like turmeric and the the trick with to make. Make, which is a spice that you know. If someone doesn cook with it, they can add it to smoothie. They can attitude a soup and still get the benefit studies have shown that a quarter teaspoon day is all that you need. But the trick is that to make it more effective, you always add a pinch of black pepper because that makes the active ingredient in turmeric more active. So I if there's one tip you take with you because it will help so. So, many different conditions in your body. But it really impacting Zeidan depression and the brain that would be that would be something that you know people may be taking it for information, but but not know that So foods like that, have you just spices and there under spices that have actually stuck out in terms of their positive benefit for mental health as well. So well, clearly diet is not a first aid approach to mental health problems. It's good to know that. That that, what you eat, what you don't eat can really have an impact on your mood especially now. I. Think with with people being stuck at home and not going out much maybe being lonely and anxious that this is another Arrow in the quiver to help stabilize mood. My guest has been Manado. She is a board certified psychiatrist and the name of her book is this is your brain on food and you'll find the link to that book Amazon in the show notes. Thank you for being here Dr. Thank you so much affect you to talk to you. Social media allows anyone to tell the world about their latest accomplishment, but does the world really care? Well, not as much as we like to think in fact, self promotion on social media often backfires in an article in the Journal. Psychological. Science. The Humble Brag. Is often not well received by others. Posting a photo of your brand new car on facebook or bragging about your promotion to co workers not only doesn't get the reaction. You might think it gets the opposite reaction. Think about it yourself. You've probably experienced emotions other than pure joy. When you're on the receiving end of someone, else's self-promotion. Yet. When we engage in self promotion ourselves, we tend to overestimate others positive reactions and underestimate their negative ones. The idea that by telling others about our accomplishments, we improve how people view US might seem right. But in fact, it often has the opposite effect and that is something you should know. And oddly after saying what I just said, I'm going to engage in some self promotion. You've heard a lot of interesting things in this episode of the PODCAST and I'm sure there's someone you know that would find it interesting as well. So please share this podcast with friend. I'm Mike carruthers. Thanks for listening today to something you should know.

Inflammation Matt Ridley Larry apple Google Microsoft Mike carruthers Silicon Valley Mike US United Kingdom writer limbaugh Brown Intel Salmon
Why Coincidences Happen & Inside the Minds of Thrill-Seekers

Something You Should Know

52:56 min | 1 d ago

Why Coincidences Happen & Inside the Minds of Thrill-Seekers

"Support for this podcast comes from state farm with surprisingly great rates. State farm is the real deal when it comes to home and car insurance state farm agents are always ready to help you personalize your insurance plan. You can create a policy that fits your needs. You can manage your coverage, pay your bill or even file a claim right from your phone with the state farm mobile APP and you can always call one of the state farm agents in neighborhoods across the country. Get a great rate without sacrificing great service when you want the real deal like a good neighbor state farm is there. Today on something you should know what's the connection between Pumpkins and Halloween then understanding why coincidences happen and they happen a lot. We love the romance coincidences but they are bound to happen and it would always be an amazing coincidence if you went for ten fifteen twenty years and nothing really free here. Amazing happened in that time because something somewhere is destined to happen also, what's the? First thing to check when your check engine light comes on and Thrill seekers do some people love rollercoasters, scary movies or skydiving and others don't these people that we think of as thrill seekers or high sensation seekers actually have lower levels of cortisol but higher levels of dopamine. So they feel more pleasure but less stress during those high sensation seeking activities all this today something you should know. I WanNa talk about our newest sponsor thinker. In this fast paced world, it's tough to make reading a priority or at least it used to be. You see at thinker dot org they summarize the key ideas from new and noteworthy nonfiction giving you access to an entire library of great books in bite size form. You can read or listen to hundreds of titles in a matter of minutes from classics like Dale. Carnegie's how to win friends and influence people to recent bestsellers like Jordan. Peterson's twelve rules for life. Thinker offers a large variety of titles across many categories, current affairs, politics, business education, history biographies, and relationships. You'll find titles and authors that you've heard as guests here on this podcast like the power of habit by Charles Duhig made to stick by chip and Dan Heath outliers by Malcolm. Glad. Well, I mean, really, if you enjoy this podcast, you're really going to appreciate thinker if you want to challenge your preconceptions, expand your horizons and become a better thinker. goto thinker dot org that's T H I N R dot org to start a free trial and download the APP today and let them know you heard about it on something you should know that's thinker dot org. somethingyoushouldknow fascinating Intel, the world's. First and practical advice you can use in your life today something you should now. Mike, carruthers. Welcome to something you should know. Just over the last couple of days. At least for me if it started to feel a little more like fall I, don't know there's just something in the air and plus it the stores you know the Pumpkin this and the pumpkin flavored that those things have started to show up and Pumpkins. Symbolize fall, but they also symbolize Halloween. Got Me to thinking what do pumpkins have to do with Halloween. So I looked it up. Pumpkins have been grown and eaten in north. America for centuries, they are native to this part of the world, but it was the Irish who made them a Halloween tradition. In Ireland people carve turnips, potatoes, or gourds at Halloween and put them on porteous to welcome deceased loved ones and to ward off evil spirits. Burning lumps of coal were used to light them from the inside. Seven hundred thousand Irish people came to the US. In the mid eighteen hundreds because of the Irish potato famine, they brought their traditions with them but found that American pumpkins made a much better jack lantern than a turnip or potato. Can't even imagine a potato Jackal Leonard. So anyway, the Irish made the switch and Pumpkins are now part of our Halloween celebration. And that is something you should know. We humans like to know the reason why when something happens we wanNA know how come? What caused it? For example, why do coincidences happen? Why did traffic jams occur for? No apparent reason why is it almost impossible to find a four leaf clover in your front yard? And why is it so hard to get the temperature of your shower? Just right. Well, you're about to get some answers to these and other interesting life questions from Rob East away. He's the author of the book. Why do buses come in threes? They hidden mathematics of Everyday Life I rob. Welcome. Thank you very much. So, let's start with the title. Why do buses come in threes explain that phenomenon there is this tendency when you're waiting for public transport that. You hang around for ages waiting for a bus to turn up, and then not just one but two or three will come together and it's a big joke in London. So why why are they spaced out why? This curious phenomenon happen and it turns out that what is behind buses bunching as? The term that tends to be used is Not Anybody's fault really because even if you send out these buses, let's say they're going out regularly every fifteen minutes from the terminus unfortunately people on nicely spaced out and you just need to get a cluster of people waiting at a stop. When the bus arrives they will get on together. They slow that bus down slightly. So the bus behind has caught up a little bit. Then the buses move along. Now, less of a gap between the first and the second bus. So there's less time for customers or passengers to accumulate at the next stop, and meanwhile the front buses being slightly slowed down and so all passengers have gathered waiting for it. So can you see there's a kind of almost like a magnetic force pools busses together? It's buses being kept evenly apart an unstable situation and plus is a much happier when they're together. So there's no particular law that says buses will. Cluster in threes that we tend to not threes, but they will tend to to bunch up in groups of at least two. Isn't that interesting and you just said that that we tend to notice threes what do you? What do you mean I think in life? There is a lot situations of the rule of three where comedians use hits as well. Actually. First Time something happens. Okay. You Register when it happens a second time you think okay I've noticed it's happened. A third time as our brains are wired to think, right there's a pattern here something happening so. Your kind of the third one is more significant. So when things happen threes generally I think. As as humans, we are curious to know what's going on and we assume there's a clause even if does not necessarily cause in the case of buses, they might come in two three or fours joke about incoming in threes. Interestingly, we talk about misfortunes in life unlucky things are white about things always happen to me in threes. I mean the truth is they don't, but we'll tend to notice them when they happen in threes. A friend might get ill, we might you know have some kind of scrape on the car, and then we're almost looking out for bad things to happen, and we'll really notice that third thing and we will reinforce this myth that bad things happen in threes. Well, there's that whole thing about celebrity deaths always happen in threes, but they actually don't. They don't exactly. We're just reinforcing a myth. We've all heard and it is just this. This innate way of counting of. Three's enough to be significant and to register brains probably one of the most important numbers in terms of looking for things in life. So things happening in threes is is intriguing. Why is it so hard to find a four leaf clover? It's a classic thing that four leaf clover are the things you should be searching for, and in fact, if you look out in your yard Ratnapala code ever and are looking for flowers and count the petals or count believes on a daisy or whatever. There are certain numbers that seem to crop up full far more often than others in leaves and petals, and a particularly common number is five but quite often you'll see three you often see eight you might see thirteen and there's a connection between these numbers and it's a sequence known as the fibber Naci sequence and it was known about and discovered way back in twelfth thirteenth century when talion mathematician who got nicknamed FIBONACCI I. Sort of published a story about it But the pattern itself You can recreate it by starting with the numbers one and one you add them together one and one makes two. Then you take the previous two number. So now one and to make three two and three makes five. Three and five makes eight. So you can see how I making each number by just adding the previous two and you could write this out five eight thirteen. Now for very also reasons these finarsih numbers turn out to. Have particular properties that make them crop up in natural growing things in plants in particular in petals and It's a wonderful thing. So you know five tends to be the most common number of petals on a flower and the reason why it's five and not four six is because five is a fifth Bernard she number you're GonNa have to take my word for it that FIBONACCI numbers are connected to another beautiful thing in math, which is known as the golden ratio which is. A particular shape of rectangle a particular ratios of the two sides of a particular rectangle which. has some very lovely and elegant properties and was known about by Leonardo. Da, Vinci and he I think probably made it most famous most popular. He experimented with it. He felt it was the source of the most beautiful shapes. He drew a famous image of a man, which was where every part of the body was in the ratio of this so-called golden ratio, which is about one point six something. And the reason why it's linked with nature is because it's such. An efficient ratio is a beautiful ratio plants make use of it to space out at lls to give themselves the best chance to get as much sunlight as possible and so four leaf clovers than are just an anomaly. Yeah. If you found one, it's not a FIBONACCI number. So nature isn't naturally going to produce things in force unless it does so by spitting. Because to is. An easy number to make and it's also a financially number. So you say that it's better to buy a lottery ticket on Friday I've I've. I've bought plenty of tickets every day of the week they never they never win. So what what why, why, Friday? It's Well it does depend a lottery draws happen on different days of the week. So let's take the UK lottery where I. Know that draw happens on Saturday the idea is not so much. There's anything special about buying on Friday but to just recognize that luxuries winning lotteries is extremely difficult it's extremely unlikely you will win and therefore when something is so unlikely you have to start thinking well, look what other things are more likely than this, and so if we go back to original theme of buses then Not. Very many people in a year on October by a bus, but it's got a one in. Two million chance or whatever happening to you over a twenty four hour period party rival less than that. But the point is there comes a point where if you buy your lottery ticket too early, then you're more likely to meet some gruesome end like being knocked over by a bus than to actually make it as far as picking up your winning numbers. So the tip is to wait as long as possible to buy your ticket so that at least you have a chance of if you do win it of celebrating and enjoying the experience. So this has nothing to do with increasing your chances just has to do with surviving to celebrate. Exactly you can't increase your chances of winning the lottery and. Unless you buy lots of tickets across the more tickets you buy the more charge you have winning. Although there is a tip for lotteries across the world actually one way of. Increase your chance of winning. But if you do win, you want to win and not have to share the Jackpot with lots of other people. So the idea is to pick numbers that other people don't pick and it seems to be a curiosity of the way. People are are lucky numbers tend to be linked with things like birthdays and months of the year, and so and so there's a disproportionate number of people who pick numbers in the rage one to thirty one, which is the maximum number of days there are in a month. So, if you're lottery happens to include numbers that are higher than thirty one, then picking a smattering of numbers that are bigger than thirty one is good because it's numbers that are less likely to be picked by other people. So that's the that's the secret. Really. The other thing to point out with lottery numbers some. Selections of Lottery Numbers Look Random. You know if I picked two, eight, twelve, twenty, one, thirty, seven, you might say, oh. Yeah. That's good. That's nice in random and if I picked one, two, three, four, five, six, think Oh, that will never turn up I won't pick one with such a pattern. Well, the truth is both of those selections I just gave you. Are Equally likely to happen the reason why we never see one, two, three, four, five, six come up is that it's millions to one against the will but then it's also millions to one against the whatever said to four, twelve, thirty one would come up to so we this fallacy of thinking the certain patterns are more likely than others whereas they're all equally likely. So you can improve your chances by simply trying to not think like all other people think. Why there is one other. Sorry go ahead. One other thing I would say to that I mentioned a one, two, three, four, five six is just as likely as any other combination. There's a lot of mathematicians out there who know this and they think I'm going to be smart because I know one, two, three, four, five six is just as likely as anything else. So I will pick those numbers. The trouble is if those numbers ever come up in a luxury anywhere in the world, there will be tens of thousands of smart people out there who did the same thing? So you'll end up. With all those people and not getting much money yourself. So don't try to be too clever because as other cliff folk out there who will ruin it for you. We are talking about these fascinating little life questions and why they happen and my guest is rob east away. He's author of the book why do buses come in threes the hidden mathematics of everyday life? Okay. So good news during challenging time for everybody in this could really help. You may know hundreds of thousands of people have already made the switch to Meta share, which is the affordable alternative to health insurance and with so many people looking at how they pay for healthcare right now, seeing premiums going up or the cost of Cobra plans medishare has extended their special offer. A lot of people have taken advantage of it simply apply by September thirtieth and they will waive your new member fee that's one hundred and seventy dollar savings, and of course that's. Just, a start, the typical family saves five hundred dollars a month after making the switch Meta share is a Christian community that shares each other's healthcare costs and it's worked beautifully for decades. I'll give you the number here in a second, and if you call, you can get a price within two minutes just tell them the Promo Code share to get your additional savings. Here it is call eight, seven, seven, sixty, four, Bible that's Eight, seven, seven, sixty, four, Bible, eight, seven, seven, sixty, four Bible support for this podcast comes from cdw and Microsoft surface and teams. And cdw we get a future remote meetings works differently. GOING, right from launch directly into meeting that could be awkward. But with Microsoft surface devices with teams orchestrated by cdw, the future works better touchscreen voice capabilities keep teams engaged in productive enabling you to wall. We collaborate with confidence wherever noon. Thanks for joining works. You have a spinach in your teeth x for the tip man it orchestration by cdw people who get it find out more at cdw, dot com slash surface. So rob what's the math behind why it is so hard to like when you turn on the shower two to get the temperature just right it's either too hot and then it gets too cold. It's really hard to get it just right. The reason why? This is happening. You're getting this oscillating temperatures never right. Is To do with the way your reacting to something that. Happened a few seconds ago a bit of a time lag it you haven't waited until the right temperature got through the system. So hot and cold shower over hot and coach hours a part of a general. Phenomenon of of systems and how systems behave and how we react to things, and it's a really interesting part of applied mass because. It explains a lot of what happens in the world we react to things thinking you start hearing that we're running low on toilet rolls because everyone's buying toilet rolls seek out and buy them, and for other people stop buying an and suddenly the nation is short of toilet rolls is if there's a crisis, well, actually there's not a crisis is just where reacting to quickly to something rather than letting the system settle down so. The way. That's causing effect in something that happens caused you to take another action which happens to another action. This knock on effect is fascinating to model and when you understand it and when you step back and look at the often mathematical relationship between the way things are going down zone, it can help you. To take, cooler and more reason decisions by just saying, okay. Let's look at the big picture here. Not just immediate things that I need to respond to straightaway traffic jams, I find interesting. I'm. Not. Sure why? I guess because so often traffic jams happened for no reason than than the traffic clears up and it's very frustrating. Why? Why does that happen? Who screwed this up I imagine there's some interesting math or physics or something going on there. It's because of a knock on effect of you reacting to the person in front of you re too quickly and you put. Your brakes on too fast. The car behind catches up with you and it can in the wrong circumstances just caused all the cars, stop the ones that front then start going again and they lead off and you can watch from the air. It looks like this pulse is passing through the cars knows what's going on but actually this is just individual humans. The way they react causing the whole system. To. Flow or not flow. Which is why sometimes we need Traffic Signals to tell us what to do to control us to say, don't try driving too fast because if you will try and drive too fast ironically, you might all end up going much slower because you have a knock on effect on each other. Well, something I've always wondered about that I I've been stuck in traffic jams as I'm sure everyone has where you're you're kind of creeping along for a long time and and there's no reason for it. There's no accident there's no nothing but at some point, it does just open up and. why does it open up there? What happened that all of a sudden now, we can all go that. There's so many things that could be causing it but. It might have been a temporary thing that caused a driver near the front of what became the jam to slow down slightly bizarrely sometimes it seeing an accident or seeing a police car that's pulled up or whatever people stopped to look. But as soon as one person has slowed down, the pulse of slowing down, is going to feed all the way back because the person at the front. Is Now free to go again nothing was nothing ever physically stop them. They just may be slowed down a little bit. So I think very often it will be caused by one individual not driving smoothly just just slowing down for whatever reason they might have been reached over for Coffee Cup or who knows what reason the knock on effect that can escalate so. Eventually behind them some people stop. But of course, we can see that guy the front never had anything was actually stopping them. So we're just releasing the pressure out a gain at the front and it works its way through the job. So I want to change topics here and talk about coincidences because I think they're so interesting because everybody experiences in their life. Amazing coincidences and I think it's very human to want to find an explanation. Why did that happen? What does that mean? And so what does that mean? Well. Yeah. We we love coincidences is I. Think most people have had some amazing coincidence happen to them. I've had several I think one. Sticks in my mind was a time when I was with a friend and her daughter was there and I was drawing a little picture for the daughter and I drew a moon in the sky and I I was making it up as I went along. I said, Oh you can tell from the moon the date must be August seventeenth I just completely made out of nowhere I've done a and said it and the mother said I can't believe you just said that because August the seventeenth is our daughter's birthday and it's my birthday and it's my husband's birthday and was this cold shoulder of how this is just amazing. It was meant to be and when we when we hear coincidences. It comes back to this cause and effect thing. We assume there was a reason why this happened something psychic something whatever. But actually. The thing about coincidences they all going to happen by chance and one way to look at coincidences is to say. Look, how many opportunities are there for coincidence to happen in a day? And you imagine you know I came home from work and a just as I got home. I saw someone and Oh, their name was completely different from mine and that number plate was completely unrelated to my so lots of non coincidences a happening all the time we don't notice them and. They happen in the hundreds and thousands and millions over year. So many chances for coincidence to happen. We just don't notice the boring things were two. Unconnected things came together when suddenly they're lined up to names of the same, it's a neighbor. We see when we're on holiday in someone in the middle of nowhere I wasn't expect to see you here. We noticed those and. And they freaks out but they are bound to happen. So so one of the interesting the way we love the romance of coincidences, but they are bound to happen, and it would always be an amazing coincidence if you went for ten fifteen, twenty years and nothing really free here. Amazing. Happened to you in that time because something somewhere. Is. Destined to happen just like rolling dyson gathering three sixes come up. One of my favorite coincidence example sometimes, math will actually. Get throw up examples which give coincidences more often than you'd expect. And that is what sometimes called the birthday paradox. You imagine you're in a group of thirty people, which is about the size of a typical class at school or whatever. And you think okay. Well, I wonder what the chances are in that group of thirty two people have the same birthday. and. There are three hundred and sixty five days in a year. So you'd think well, thirty people out of three, hundred, sixty, five, two of the same birthday it kind of feels like a one in ten it doesn't sound like it's likely at all because that's not many people and that's a lot of birthdays. Now I'm GonNa State to the fact that which is which is extremely counterintuitive. If, there are thirty people in room. Then there's a way higher than fifty. Fifty chance is like a sixty percent chance that they will be at least two people in that room who have the same birthday and I do this as a little stunt. If I've got a big audience if I've got fifty or more people are say I feel an energy coming from you as a room I think two of you got the same birthday. And I don't know who it is, but I can I can sense it now I go around the room and it always works and the reason why it works. How many different combinations there are of those thirty people this this twenty nine people could be had with on a on another twenty eight could be pad with Burton Sony Admiral I. Think There's hundreds of different possible Pez in this room. So maybe we shouldn't be so surprised if one of those pairs of all this combination do have the same birthday. So it's the lore of numbers and big numbers in the end coincidences happen but in the end. As, a coincidence phenomenon is one of my favorites because it feels so surprising and you can do it as a as a little stunt at parties or whatever. I bet there's two people in this room of Saint Birthday and you can win bets on it. It's great fun talk about that Black and white hat game that you play that because I've been thinking about it ever since I read about it it it's really interesting is a little game I play where I have to volunteers common sit faced facing each other on chairs in front of an audience. and. I have in a bag three hats to prove them all black hats and one of them as a white hat. And then come from behind each of my volunteers. So they can't see I, put a hat on each of them. So they can't see what hats on their own head, but they can see what is on the other person's head. And what they don't know is I put a black hat on each of their heads. Remember that were two black hats one way. And they're sitting there looking at the other person they can see a black hat. Am I say, right? I want you to put your hand up who will be the first a few who can predict with pure logic what hat is on your own head? Now. This is a a quite famous puzzle, but I love what happens in the real world because with most adults in the real world, what they do is they look. The other person they think, right they're wearing a black hat. I know there were two blacks and one white. So I'm either wearing a white or a black and I don't know which it is. And both of them thing that way and you can wait for thirty seconds a minute and they just sit there saying I just don't know. But. Actually what they should be able to do if they think about a bit further extinct will what is the author person thinking if you go the extra step and say, let's suppose I've got a white hat on. There's anyone why The Guy Opposite is not stupid. So if they can see a white hat, they'll put their hand up and say I must be wearing a black hat that has not happened. Why has that not happened? The only reason has not happened over the last thirty seconds is because I must be wearing a black hat so it should be possible to did use that you're wearing a black hat in that game and the puzzle books say that's what happens the real life says it very rarely happens and I just find that fascinating and there's a broader principle of logic and life and statistics that I find really interesting with that game because. Often, we can deduce things not just from what we're told, but also from what we're not told this has been really fun and it's answered some questions that I think everybody has because all these things happen to all of us and we always wonder why and and now we know why Rob Eastwood has been my guest. He's author of the book. Why do buses come in threes the hidden mathematics of everyday life and you will find a link to that book in the show notes. Thank you for coming on here rob. Thanks Mike. That's been really fun. Some people are very cautious. Other people take huge risks in life and the rest of us are somewhere in the middle. So those people who take the big risks who bungee jump and and skydive and go on roller coasters why do they do it? Are they just different or do they really get joy and pleasure out of that risky behavior? Or maybe they just do it to say they did it here to discuss what makes thrill seekers do what they do is Ken? Carter he's a board certified clinical psychologist and professor of psychology at Oxford College of Emory University, and he's author of the Book Buzz Inside the minds of thrill seekers, dare-devils and Adrenalin Junkies can thanks for having me. So there is this theory I guess people have that thrill seekers are basically Adrenalin Junkies. They do risky things they go on scary rides because they like that Adrenalin hit. Interestingly it's not necessarily adrenaline. So there are two different chemicals in our body that control. The, influence stress reaction one is court all that stress hormone that a lot of people heard about sort of initiates the fight or flight response and then there's another neurotransmitter called dopamine and that. Creates a sense of pleasure and so these people that we think of as thrill seekers or high sensation seekers actually have lower levels of cortisol but higher levels of dopamine. So they feel more pleasure but less stress and. During those high sensation seeking activities so there's physio logically they're a little bit different. Interestingly. Though the people that I know that like roller coasters and like you know those kind of thrilling things that they do, it's not like they crave them like if they don't get get it every day or every week. That they start to Jones for it. It's just they like it when they get it. Yeah. And so there are different sort of you know range of of Asian seeking. So there are the low sensation seekers like like you and me who beach. Is All a need to best. That's the most thrill I get, and then they're the average sensation seekers that sound like the people that you know, and then there are these high sensation seekers that really crave that and if they aren't getting those experiences, the it's really tough for them and so a lot of them that are not doing that right now are having a tough time because some of them can have a tough time with boredom and so they start doing things to create chaos because that's where that that's sort of the sweet spot for them is sort of chaotic excitement. So they do things like what? So. There are some expensive ways to do thrill seeking activities like you know, bungee jumping or base diving but there's some cheap ways to do it to like driving really fast and the highway or three fights with people things that might that might get them into trouble but there are some other things that they could do for example. trag unusual foods or these sort of cultural experiences that are sort of that are not necessarily dangerous but high sensation seekers tend to down play those risks, and so they can sometimes get themselves into trouble when they're looking for those sensations. Do people who? Seek thrills. For example, they'll bungee jumper they'll skydiver they'll do some thrill seeking behavior. Do they tend to seek out thrills in all areas of life or do they find a few things and they say I like that? It. Depends upon a little bit. There are two different aspects of that through seeking personality in terms of the mix of things they like to do. Some are what are called throughout adventure seeking people, and then there's another one that's called a experience seeking these people that like sensations of the mind and of the senses these the people that travel to unusual places and try unusual foods, and so there may be some people like I met this woman who wanted to travel for three hundred days all around the world couch. Surfing, on other people's Sofas. Nothing that I would ever do, but she hates roller coasters right and so there are different aspects that people tend to gravitate towards an some high sensation seekers like both of those things, but they may find it in their jobs. Or if they don't, they're going to do it in their recreation. Is it safe to say that thrill seekers are generally risk takers Interestingly not necessarily. So the risk taking is really the price of admission to what they want to do, and so if you if you've looked online, you see these people that climb these buildings and they take these incredibly scary photos. They want the sensation of being on top of the building and the only way you can get there is to climb to the top of the building right and so they wouldn do risky things because risky. They do the risky things because it gets them the experience that they want. And the experience that they want is just that that rush that that feeling that sense of all you know we all enjoy that sense of awe but it does you know things that bring are different for different people for me. It's the beach right but for thrill. They're going to want that experience that they can't get any in any other way. So they're not necessarily risk taking for the sake of being risky. They're doing the risk because it gets them the experience that they desire. You know what I wonder because this is so subjective. Do Thrill seekers see themselves as thrill seekers or do they just see themselves as normal and they? See people who don't like the thrills they like is Kinda dull. Yeah. It's interesting sort of perception. So they did the study a couple years ago where they put people on a track and they said, Oh follow the car in front of you. The low sensation-seekers drove really far away from the target car and they were really anxious the entire time the high sensation seekers stroke. Like really really close to the person, but they were totally chill. And then they asked people how dangerous they thought a experiment was they said they rated it about the same and so what makes us think that something is dangerous is usually our body that's telling us what you're doing is dangerous stopped doing it. Yeah. That's that's really interesting because I wonder if that's one of the reasons that even though people know, for example, the texting and driving is dangerous it doesn't necessarily feel dangerous when you're doing it. So it's like, yes, it's dangerous, but it's okay if I do it. Because it's not dangerous for me. Exactly exactly and the range of things at high sensation seekers feel is okay is much larger. There was a guy that contacted me a couple of months ago. That said that he was thinking about sea kayaking around Iceland and wanted to know what I thought of it and I said you know I I'm not the person to ask I think everything is. Well, that brings up the question and I think an important question that I hope you can answer because there's this sense that. People who don't like roller coasters who or who don't WanNa Bungee jumper what they need to try it I. Yeah. It's going to be terrifying but just, but if it's not you. Then why would you try it I mean. So do you get if you do it a little bit? Do you like it a little bit and then you like a little bit more because that's not my experience and you know there's a psychological concept that's called habituation, which means the more you do something that scary the less scary it is, and so that might create lower levels of cortisol that steph that hormone that's related to fear but I'm not going to like it more right and so I tell people I don't have the hardware to run that program. You know. So high sensation-seekers do they're gonNA feel? And Thrill, and excitement at those things and they want me to experienced the world the way they do. But I can't. You know I'm not pumping out the same mix of chemicals as they are I'm just GonNa pill terrified in overwhelmed and rather not feel that way. Yeah. But it, and if you did it enough, you might feel less terrified and overwhelmed but you're never going to feel pleasure because that's just not in you. Yeah exactly, and so I say find the mix of things that are right for you but I understand it from their perspective. It's the thing that brings them so much. Pleasure and thrill, and they want me to experience that too. But I probably won't. Well I I remember hearing that advice many years ago that you know when when you go to the amusement park in everybody wants to go on the roller coaster and they say come on now you're gonNA. Love it. No, I'm not and so I. I don't I don't feel compelled to go because I've heard some of what you've been saying here that. It's just not me and I don't enjoy it. So why would I do it? Yeah I know the things that I enjoy and a lot of the high sensation seekers say to me you know. I know I'm not made of glass. It's okay to get hurt if you're going to have a wonderful experience, but that's not on my list like if I was talking to one guy who said when he's going to do something important in, he's doing some bouldering or those kinds of things will try not to do something that's going to break a leg. And I thought you I never do things that are going to be even remotely close to bringing to breaking a leg. You know that's just not an my list of fun things to do. So is being a thrill seeker just different and they they're wired differently and they they do different things because that's what makes them happy or is there more to it than that are are there some darker sides of of Thrill seeking that people don't often consider you know breaking a leg might be one of them. Or is it just people are different? It spits people are different but there are some influences that can change that over time you know there was chemicals in our body don't remain the same throughout her whole life and we also. Influences And a lot of high sensation seekers tend to not be as high sensation seeking as they get older usually for two different reasons, the chemicals change, and also there's more to lose, and so some of them as they could older will not do some of those thrill seeking things because they want to protect their families or or because they just don't feel like it as much because some of the chemicals have changed over time is there any sense that thrill seeking runs in families or doesn't run in families or it's just random or one? Yeah. It tends to it does tend to run in families and researchers aren't quite. Whether or not is because those relief thrilling expense e experiences bring heisinge in seeking out in people or the some genetic component to it as well. I talked to a food blogger awhile ago who loves eating very unusual foods, which is typical a lot of high sensation seekers, and so they're feeding their kids those unusual foods well, and that might mean that they're going to be more adventuresome with foods as they get older it might be because of the genetically they're similar and they're they're more likely to try those unusual things well, that word adventuresome does that define thrill seekers and if you're a thrill seeker, your proper, probably more adventurous. In other areas of your life like Fuji We'd or places you go or whatever yeah. It's interesting because I I think a lot of people think of thrill seeking something a person does, but I think of it as as Hula person is it can affect their work it can affect the foods they like the things they do for fun. Even the jokes they like to tell and what kind of traveling they liked to do you can see all different parts of a person's life. So I sense you're from the things you said, you're not a big thrill seeker and yet you tackled this project on thrill seeking. Are you more of a thrill seeker? Happy not to be what were you I thought? That working on this project about thrill seeking would make me more of a thrill seeker, but it's actually made me embrace the things I've already done. You know I. I might try it unusual thing every now and then sort of influenced by the people I've talked to but it also makes me realize that a lot of the people. Who bungee jump or based dive or eat unusual foods that they're not necessarily doing it because they have a death wish or those kinds of things they're seeking that sense of awe that we all do. But just in a different way I wonder, and this is one of the things that thrill seekers will tell people who typically haven't sought out thrills that. Try it like do people who don't like thrill seeking Seems like most of them have probably tried roller coasters or. something. That would that they would get the message? nope. This isn't for me. Yeah Yeah and the in that happens relatively early on where you sort of know the range of things that you want to to experience. But a lot of the thrill seekers in you ask me about this earlier, some of they they're just trying to get mastery over their own emotions I talked to this one woman she calls herself slack line girls she you. Know does type roping across these big ravines and for a while she was doing it Free Solo with means with no safety at all and she did it because she wanted to create some mastery over her emotions. In some way, which is something I would never do and it seems incredibly dangerous, but it seemed really important her to be able to. Control her emotions in that way, which is really important for a lot of heist -ation seeking activities. Yeah. See I don't get that. I don't understand I understand wanting to master your emotions but not at the risk of death. Now I do very little at the risk of death myself. But if you don't, if your body's not telling you that it's dangerous then your perception of it. is going to be very different and and I get that. Intellectually it's tough for me to get emotionally I. Wonder if there's a difference between the kind of thrill seekers like you just described where someone walks on a wire across ravines without a net that's really thrill seeking. That's very dangerous versus people who like scary movies and roller coasters and things like that where they know there say they know it's scary but deep down inside they know they're not endanger. Yeah, and so a lot of those people are at that middle average range of sensation seeking. And since I'm at the very low range of it, I don't like scary movies I just I just have to close my eyes and try to get through it but a lot of people who are in the average range they are pumping out a low a really nice mix of cortisol and dopamine. They're experiencing that pleasure and thrill from it and but they're not necessarily going to do things that are dangerous like slack line grow might. Yeah. So if slack line girl does what she does. If she goes on some big roller coaster at six flags or something. She go home or is that because it's a new experience that might be still might be scary to her even though. She's not risking her life. She would probably be able to yawn or do a crossword puzzle during a roller. Coaster. Yes she she you know a lot of those of professional thrill seekers that are ice climbers and based on Jumpers They might do roller coasters as a snack, but it's not gonNA be a a main meal for them probably. So this really should be of comfort to people particularly people who aren't especially big thrill seekers to know that it. It's not a question of you know your chicken or you're not brave enough. It's not bravery. It's it's more of a physiological or a fundamental difference. There people who really enjoy it and are people who don't one of the goals of psychology is understanding ourselves and understanding other people, and so I, I've gotten emails from people who say. You know this really helps me to. Understand. My brother or my son or my spouse in a way I was trying to get them to stop doing that because I thought it was foolhardy but they need it. To because it's part of their personality and we need them, you know a lot of people who are first responders and firefighters and you know in the police and the military. These are heison station seekers that are using their high sensation seeking to help the rest of us. So we need them in our society but I also think we need people like you and me who are. Lookouts to tell people maybe we shouldn't do things that are that dangerous very much it's really interesting because it's not it's not right or wrong or good or bad. It's just either or it's just some people like it. Some people don't, and if you don't like it, why do it and if you do like it, why not do it? Yeah, as long as it's safe and as long as you're not putting other people in danger I, think that's absolutely right. WHAT ABOUT GENDER DIFFERENCES? I assume slack line girl is a female but I would imagine that testosterone plays a role in this and that there are more male thrill seekers than women, right? Testosterone does play a role for both men women and for men and Interestingly for the fifty years of research. In this area, we've seen sensation seeking levels get higher for women. I think because of the role of Culture you know I think that a lot of people thought you know women's shouldn't do these kinds of things and so you would see higher levels of experienced seeking and women but it over the last couple of years that difference between men and women in terms of these thrill seeking activities has actually gotten smaller but. There is also that pressure though when when when you're with a group of people and most if not all of the other ones, WanNa go on the roller coaster and you don't then you know they don't be a baby come on come on but you're not going to like it but there is that kind of like be a man man up and do it. You know it's really interesting because we know that fear is something as perception from your environment. You know the chemicals at your, you know pumping out. and. The way you think about that environment tells you what's frightening or not. And so I tell people, it's the low sensation seekers. Those brave ones. If I'm doing that roller coaster, I'm gonNA feel more terrified than an average and or high sensation seeker. You know it's not the highest station secret who's being brave if they don't feel that they're what they're doing is dangerous. Well, it's good to hear that I and I think it's good for low sensation seekers to hear that it's okay to say no, because there's no joy in it there's just no you're doing it and you're going to close your eyes and grit your teeth and feel like you're going to throw up the whole time. What would be the point of that and on the other hand if you're a thrill seeker and you can engage that and satisfy those thrill seeking desires in a safe way. Well, there's nothing wrong with that either. This has been really interesting Ken. Carter has been my guest. He's a board certified clinical psychologist and professor of psychology at Oxford, College of Emory University, and he is author of the Book Buzz Inside the minds of Thrill seekers dare devils and Adrenalin Junkies, you'll find a link to his book in the show notes. Thank you can. Yeah, thank you so much. It was really fun talking to you. If, you've been driving a car for any length of time. Sometime in your driving career, you've seen the check engine light come on. So what does it mean? What are you supposed to check? Well, according to automotive expert Phil Edmonston the first thing you should check is the gas cap because very often if the gas cap wasn't put on correctly after the last time you filled up your car, it can trigger the check engine light. In fact, on one of our cars, there's even a little sticker on the gas cap warning that if you don't put it on right, it could trigger the check engine light to go on. Most of the time, you fix the gas captain the light goes out if the light for the ABS brake system comes on or the airbag light comes on. The gas cap isn't going to fix that. You really need to get that checked out by mechanic as soon as possible, and that is something you should know. Like most businesses are growth depends on referrals, people who like this podcast and tell other people. So they can like this podcast. I'll bet you have some friends that you know that would like this podcast after all you do a bit your friends would so please share this podcast with them I'm Mike carruthers. Thanks for listening today to something you should know.

cortisol Mike carruthers dopamine cdw Adrenalin Junkies Ken Intel professor of psychology US Carter America Rob East Carnegie Peterson Dale
How DNA Works and How It Solves Crimes & Understanding Food Culture

Something You Should Know

46:19 min | 2 months ago

How DNA Works and How It Solves Crimes & Understanding Food Culture

"Today on something you should know. How do you keep your glasses from fogging up when you put on a mask to go out in public? Then understanding DNA what it is what it does, and how it catches bad guys. It's a very powerful tool. I think you know if if I did something twenty years ago, criminally and I left DNA there. I would be really frightening. because an arc is gonNA come on my door any day now. Also, why is it? Teenagers can sleep till noon with no trouble, but it gets harder as you. You get older, and you may not have thought about it, but we've created a fascinating and somewhat bizarre culture around food. Why do we have a culture of particularly young people spending their discretionary income and time on things like Avocado Toast or twenty five dollars volts have robin or taking pictures of their food. This is a topic that I have become obsessed with all this today. On something you should know. Something you should know fascinating. Intel the world's hobby experts and practical advice. You can use in your life today something you should. Mike carruthers. High. To something you should know. Last week we switched our hosting platforms the place where the audio for these podcast episodes actually resides, and that you pull them from to listen to. And all of this supposedly should have happened very seamlessly. You shouldn't have known it. This should all be news to you that I'm telling you this right now, but if you did notice anything unusual. And of course, the most unusual thing that would have happened is you didn't get any new episodes, but of course if you didn't get new episodes, you wouldn't be hearing this, but. If anything is unusual in your feed for this podcast. Just let me know. Drop me align myself at somethingyoushouldknow dot net first up today. If you wear glasses or sunglasses, then you have likely had the problem of putting on your mask to go out in public, and then putting on your glasses only to have them fog up on you and there's a simple solution for that. There's a couple of them actually I. You need to make sure that your mask fits right. The fog is a result of air coming out of the top of your mask and into that space between your. Your eyes and your glasses so to reduce that have a mask that fits right, and then you can use your glasses to lockdown your mask so less. Air comes up. That should reduce the fog. The bigger thing you can do in this is after you've made sure that your lenses can take. This is to wash your glasses in soapy water, and then let them air dry or wipe them very gently with a soft cloth. The soap actually leaves a film on the glasses that acts as a barrier to the fog, so they won't fog up and that is something you should know. What do you really know about your? DNA ON TV DNA left at the scene of the crime. Often solves the crime, plus you can get those DNA test kits to find out your heritage, and who your ancestors are, and what diseases you might be prone to. But then DNA also has something to do with your eye color and your hair color, and how tall you are, so, what exactly is DNA and why is it important to understand it here? With some answers and insight into the topic is Alan McEwen. He's an educator and scientist and a real expert in the subject of DNA having studied it for several years. He's author of a book. Called DNA demystified hey Alan welcome well. Thanks very much for having me. So in basic simple terms, what is my DNA? DNA is the the molecule of life. Every living thing carries its genetic information in this molecule called DNA dive worked with for now fifty years ever since I first learned about it and became fascinated with it so i. like to share what I've learned, or some of what I've learned over the years with people who share fascination, but don't necessarily have a lot of technical background. What is so fascinating about it if it's just a molecule, what specifically? Makes it so fascinating? Oh, there's so many things with DNA. Does that no other molecule? Does I mean you know we're surrounded by molecules, the the earth, the whole planet, but the thing about DNA is that it is the only one that stores genetic information and passes that information from one generation to the next, and that's true whether we're talking about humans or trees or bacteria every living thing uses the same molecule DNA, slightly different form of course in each species and each individual, but it's the same molecule that carries our genetic information into the future and connects us with our ancestors from the past. Going through us as individual bottleneck and onto our to sentence into the future, so when you say it carries our genetic information. What is our genetic information? What does that mean everything that you are or everything that a plant is or some other animal is a composition of cells, and within each of these cells is. is DNA. The DNA carries information in the form of recipes that tells the cell how to make particular proteins and is. Is the presence or absence of these proteins, many of which are enzymes that make us look the way we look act the way we act. It gives for on mammals. It gives fins on fish, and it gives bacteria for example pathogenic bacteria, the ability to fight the antibiotics that we developed a fight off those pathogens, so it's a an information source much like a recipe book, so if you look at say my DNA is all of the. Whatever it is in DNA is. Traceable back to somebody else, or are there things in my DNA? That are just me just? They just showed up with me. And have nothing to do with my ancestors. We get all of our genetic information from our mothers and our fathers and equal dose right fifty percent from each almost exactly fifty percent from each mother and father. Any genetic information has to come through that source with the rare exception. Of spontaneous mutations that may occur within US individually so almost all of our crates whether they're physical like I call her hair color blood type whatever come from our parents, and sometimes we see behavioral traits, and this is a little bit more controversial because it's not as well explained or or. but certain behavioral traits also come through our parents and tracing back perhaps to our grandparents great. And so on, but we we can't explain fully exactly how all of these behavioral traits work because behavioral traits are usually complex involved, not just one little piece of DNA, but many different pieces of DNA working in concert together. So maybe I'm mistaken, but doesn't it seem that sometimes? Someone will get. Some sort of disease or affliction or condition, that is quote genetic. That isn't in their past. Their parents didn't have it. Their grandparents didn't have it, but now they have it is is. Does that ever happen? That does happen. And, one of the cases, when there is a spontaneous mutation, say and I was just talking to to one of my colleagues about this happening in her family that there's no record of this gene appearing in their parents or grandparents or anywhere but it, but it is there and with modern molecular genetic technologies we can actually extract the DNA from a sample of cells from all of the different people involved from the parents, and sometimes nowadays from the grandparents and find that no, the the gene altered gene that caused the susceptibility to the disease, first appeared in this one person that did not come from either parent. Now as I say, that is quite rare, that's a spontaneous mutation, and that's quite rare most of the time when we go back, we find that the gene is actually present in one or sometimes both parents, but it's not expressed right, so it's lying dormant If you remember high school biology and you learned about the Gregor Mendel, he would call these recessive genes and since. We have these these genes that were it passes on things that are harmful diseases, whatever are we near the point at the point, or will we ever be at the point where we can go in and manipulate those jeans and Cure that illness absolutely and That's a a very hot area of research right now. things like sickle cell anemia right, which is prevalent in African populations. is a very nasty condition. It is genetic we. We've understood that genetics were the DNA side of it for some time, but we didn't really understand how to to repair it now. In the last couple of years we've had several different cases where. Where scientists have been using a new technique called genome engineering to modify the DNA to eliminate the bad part of the DNA in the gene that gives rise to sickle cell anemia, and those some of those tests, clinical tests are underway right now and I just saw the other day that there was some very promising news, but as a scientist, all all wait until the The final results published in review. Journal articles before. I pass judgement, but. I think there's grounds for optimism that some of these genetic diseases or susceptibilities to genetic diseases can now be repaired. So. We hear talk of DNA. In popular culture on TV, shows and movies, they use DNA to catch the criminal, and and lately we've heard about. Actually cold cases being solved by somebody finding DNA through one of these home testing kits through their database and so So, what is that all about? Well that's you know, it's just one of the many applications of DNA. DNA Information and that's why I spent a fair amount of time discussing this the the the forensic use I mean we. We've heard of the coldest databases used by FBI to try to identify criminals from having left a sample of their DNA, whether it's blood or skin or semen or something at a crime scene, and trying to identify the perpetrator based on DNA analysis of that material now that itself doesn't really help a lot if the if the criminal who left that DNA. DNA there has no criminal record if they haven't. any reason to have their DNA already entered in the code database, the the police are stymied I mean they have the DNA of the suspect but no way to identify the person associated with that DNA. So bring that in forward to combine with genetic genealogy, which is a different type of DNA test offered by companies like Ancestry Dot Com or twenty three and meet. That are designed mainly to help. People build their family trees. And that type of test. Compared to the type of tests that the FBI uses police force uses to make their quotas database. Those tests are not compatible. You can't directly compare a finding and the coldest database with the finding in one of the genealogy databases. Because there, there are different types they. They look at different parts of the DNA. So more recently people have started saying okay well. Maybe we can find a way to convert the. Information in the genealogy databases to make them. More comparable to the entries in the coldest database, the law enforcement database, and then building a family tree, and getting a list of suspects that that seemed to fit and then going back to traditional police work, following these suspects around to get a sample of DNA from there discarded Coffee Cup or cigarette, butter, something, and then testing that using the quotas type of test comparing that with what they have in their crime scene. Analysis to finally capture these cold-case criminals so fascinating area and a lot of work going on that right now. That will result you suspect in lots of cold cases being solved. Oh, absolutely, and it already is a number of cold cases, and the reason. TV shows on this now becoming very popular, explaining how some of these cold-case suspects have been apprehended There's already at least one conviction that I'm aware of an old cold case out of Washington. State there are several now. in in court sessions ongoing trials, and a number of others where the suspect has been apprehended after years of having been called, so it's It's a very powerful tool. I think we're only starting to do this, but you know if if I did something twenty years ago, criminally and I left DNA. There I be really frightened. because the knock is gonNA. Come on my door any day now. Well, that's got to be a little unnerving, but I want to ask you. How full proof that is in just a second I wanNA. Remind people that I'm talking to Alan McEwen and the name of his book is DNA demystified. So Alan, the assumption is and the way it's portrayed in TV, and and in the courts. When you read about it is that if I have your DNA at the scene, you're the suspect. There's no question. This is one hundred percent full proof it this couldn't have been anybody else or the chances of it being somebody else's one in eighty six billion, and so it had to be you. Is that true? It's true to the point of saying. Yes, this you know if I'm the suspect, I will say yes, that is my DNA that you found at the crime scene, but that doesn't mean that. I'm the person that pulled the trigger, and it also doesn't mean that I deposited my dna there and so I discussed a number of cases where people have shown that there was a secondary transfer that is I may have shaken hands with with somebody who then afterwards went straight to the crime scene, and wipe their hands on the counter, and left my DNA on the counter when I was never in that room to begin with. Talk about these home testing kits I've had some experience with them, and they are different. I mean ancestry seems to be very focused on your ancestors. Twenty-three me also has that medical component that ancestry does not There's probably others what's what's your sense of all these things? Well. There's I. Call them the big for there's the the big four companies that do the direct to consumer testing as you mentioned. Ancestry is primarily concerned with those who want to build a family tree They're very good at that. They have the largest database. They will connect you. If you donate your DNA to them, they will connect you to other people who share fragments of your DNA and indicate we'll just. How closely related are you Are you first cousin six cousin You know a great grandparent unlikely nowadays, but you know so. That's what ancestry does really well twenty three and me as you. You say they're focuses more on the the health and medical, but they also do the ancestral stuff as well. FTE DNA. Family Tree DNA, is another one that focuses on the ancestral genealogy and my heritage is. is the fourth one to round out those what I call the big four. They're all reputable companies in my mind they do a good job are accurate. They're inexpensive, usually less than one hundred dollars for a standard sniff test for for these types of you know family or basic health and medical and I I recommend to people that they choose one of those sites depending on what? The individual is trying to achieve. if they are going to go for a family, history and and tree building probably ancestry would be my choice, unless there's some special reason to go with one of the others if it's a health or medical, most people aim for twenty three and me are there places because I've heard their places. Are there places where if you're willing to spend more money that the tests are more involved in if they're more involved, what else do you get that you don't get from those four? There are several different types of DNA tests the standard ones that we've just been discussing. is the SNP, test or sniff test and it takes a sample of your DNA at doesn't analyze the entire genome or the entire complement of your DNA, but it looks only at individual basis that vary that are known to vary from one person to another. And of the three billion DNA bases in the standard human genome. One in a thousand or about you know three million of these are known to vary and the SNP sniff test they will look at a sample of the six, hundred, thousand, seven, hundred thousand, so it's just a snapshot sampling of some of the basis that you have in your DNA now. These are inexpensive as I say that less than one hundred dollars a day, and you know the very useful for what they do but there. There are limitations so some people want to get a more elaborate tests that are more expensive. These could be as simple as a a Y chromosome test F. T. D., N. A. Offers A Y chromosome for people who are interested in following their fathers and paternal grandfathers line back into into history. The more expensive it looks at the y chromosome exclusively, and is a a bigger test. It's more elaborate, more expensive and so on. And then finally there's the whole genome test which is much more expensive although the prices coming down dramatically, that gives you the entire read of three point one billion basis, and quite honestly I recommend. We leave that to nerds like me because there's really very little usage for the general public or even most specialists to get the whole genome analysis. I know there are people who are very concerned about genetically modified foods, basically messing with the DNA of foods. And the concern is I. Guess that they're not safe that they're not healthy. What do you think? Well, that's you know we've we humans have been messing with the DNA of of our food, crops and foods of for thousands of years, and you know corn. Itself is the best example. I mean the a traditional natural version of corn call Taylor. Was Genetically Modified by our native Americans for thousands of years to give us what we now eat. Every day is as corn, what we call corn and this is true for virtually all of the crops that we grow none of the foods that we eat or that we buy from a grocery store are genetically the same as our ancestors ate ten thousand years ago right so we've modified those the DNA those. Those crops for thousands of years many of the crops that we today didn't even exist ten thousand years ago. so you know DNA modifications have been going on for a long time if you're talking about genetic engineering of of crops, which is a controversial area that it so called GMO's than the analysis of scientists who looked into the safety and efficacy of genetic engineering of fruits and crops. Led by the National Academy of Sciences here in the US and conducted like every second year going back to the mid nineteen eighties. Every single one of those studies has stated that we can't find any. Difference in the risks associated with genetic engineering of crops and foods, compared with the risks of doing traditional breeding with those crops and foods. That is the risk that we see it's not the genetic engineering is is Not at all risky, but that the risks we see are the same risks that we see with doing traditional breeding, so you know we've been eating GMO foods and crops now since the mid Nineteen Ninety S, and they're still not a single documented case of harm to anyone anywhere in the world from eating GMO crops and foods and when? Food is altered. Can you give me some examples of how that's happened specifically. Well one of the most popular ones visit. Let's go back to cornwall familiar with corn corn. Grown by our farmers in the Midwest can get attacked by caterpillars, number of different types of insects and so farmers traditionally had to use a lot of pesticides to control those insects. If they wanted to get a good crop the end of the season. Genetic, engineering comes along puts a single naturally occurring gene from a bacterium called Bacillus. Thuringiensis into the corn genome that is, it adds a piece of DNA from the bacteria. into the corn DNA and the corn cells are able to read that that new gene, even though it came from a bacterium and produce a protein that is toxic to insects, but not toxic to animals, including humans, and as a result of that the amount of pesticide sprayed on our corn crops has dropped to near zero and it. really effectively controls the predation by these caterpillar type. Insects are corn crop, and what's the future of DNA? It is it. It is what it is, and this is the end of the road. We know what we know, and that's it or is there some big fascinating future that you see off if the future is endlessly fascinating for all of the different applications I mean the forensic us, you know we discussed a bit earlier. There's you know. Solving cold case crimes I think is going to be immense Appealing to people for medical and health conditions, so many of those we've just started scratching the surface at the moment technology allows us to transfer one or two gene, or modify one or two genes that are time, and that's very limiting, because you know many of our most important diseases and health conditions and cancer and whatnot Alzheimer's multiple genes involved and at the. The moment we really don't have a good handle on understanding how all of those genes work together to give rise to the condition that we're concerned with so huge amount of work going on there looking at the human genome project, and the massive amounts of data know we're doing the data, mining bioinformatics and trying to put together. You know the many little pieces. Pieces of DNA spread all over our different chromosomes that worked together to give a final phenotype or outcome or disease susceptibility, a lot of work, being done there and a lot of work to be done there, so you know very exciting on the on the medical side and on the food side. We still have a billion people on this planet that go to bed hungry. Hungry every night, and some of them are in danger of starving to death. Well, you know we only have so many resources to grow crops on this planet. We're destroying most them like in the Amazon rain forest, and the other places we want to preserve as much as possible to produce food to feed all of these people, and in the last thirty years we. Have done a tremendous job at increasing the food supply using some of these technologies, genetic modification, crops and foods to produce more food to feed more people so proportionately. We have fewer starving people on the planet than we've ever had, but there's still a large absolute number of people want to be able to feed and let you know. Let them live their lives, so opportunities abound there as well so we're just. Just scratching the surface well, I think anybody who's had one of those DNA tests and seeing the results gets a sense of the power of all of this, and how interesting how informative it really is! My guest has been Alan McEwen. He is an educator, a scientist and an expert in DNA. His book is called. DNA demystified and you'll find a link to that book in the show notes. Thank you, Allen. Well thank you very much. Mike When you think about it, we have a real food culture in our society, and I think in many other places around the world as well and what I mean by that is we really identify with the food we eat, and where we eat it and also the food we don't eat. I mean people will wait in long lines to get into some restaurants in just to pay really high prices for food you could. You could probably cook at home. And people take photos of their food and posted on social. They Brag that they're Vegan or vegetarian or Paleo. In order to identify not only the foods, they eat the food. They don't eat. It's this whole love affair with food, but it's not just the food. It's the whole culture around it. And someone who has lived in and research that culture, and as a real expert on it is Eve Touro Paul She's author of a book called Hungry High Eve. Hi, thanks for having me so explain how you got really into really obsessed with this whole idea of food culture. I am a millennial. I'm going to start there. I graduated in two thousand nine the peak of the recession. And about a year after I found myself living in New York City one of the most expensive cities in the US getting my master's degree in writing, which is not a lucrative a task. And began to notice that I myself was spending my discretionary time and income on food, and that those around me were doing the same, and it set off this exploration that I'm now a decade into of looking at really foodie culture. And why is it at the rise of the digital age around the same time that we were introduced to things like the iphone and texting and e mail in twenty seven notifications. Why do we have a culture of particularly young people spending their discretionary income and time on things like Avocado Toast or twenty five dollar bills of Rahman or taking pictures of their food? This is a topic that I have become obsessed with I am endlessly learning through this exploration, will it? Is this really interests me because it's always interested me how people are identified with? The food, you know I'm a Vegan. I'm vegetarian I'm a Paleo whatever whatever it is or oh, I don't drink coffee. No I don that that there is some sort of identity thing about food and I and I've always wondered why people take pictures of their food, and because never looked back in the picture. And and this this whole idea of. The. People will spend all this money on food because of where it came from, or you know if you made it at home, it'd probably tastes just as good, but and cost a tenth of what it costs you at the restaurant that we're. We're just all wrapped up in this. Right, and so this really exactly what you're expressing was my own frustration and curiosity as well, and so for the last ten years I've been looking at is will what's the why behind these trends what are the emotional drivers and the first step for me in developing an answer for that was examining? What is it that we all need to feel well just from the basics human wellbeing, and it turns out that if you look at the number of dominant philosophy is coming from psychologists and neuro, biologists and religious leaders. All the theories kind of fall into this bucket of three different things that each of us need in order to find wellbeing the first is a sense of control and safety. The second is a sense of belonging and community, and the third is purpose that we can make an impact that our lives have meaning, and so those things that you're talking about such as. Yourself by what you don't eat. On, its surface can seem silly, but when you dig down deep underneath it. I've at least been able to identify that a lot of these behaviors are driven by things like loneliness and the disintegration of our communities, our traditional religious community or neighborhood communities, and the need for us to find other ways of affiliating with a group. And the same thing can be said for food. Photos were not eating a lot of our meals with other people yet. That is a central part of wellbeing Beings traditionally have eaten with others now that we are alone and we have social media. A lot of people feel that they need to a perform in order to get the validations that they're seeking from other people. But also if you're making this wonderful meal, some people just want to share it right. They WANNA be like. Hey, look what I did. You know. If if you can't have people come over for dinner especially right now, but even in general with with people's lives. And how busy folks are these days? The fact that people are away from family. The role of food on social media is a social currency, but also a way to facilitate connection. It is weird in a sense that. Food used to be well, they would you eight because it was your fuel and yeah, it was nice to eat something that was good, and you'd occasionally go out to a restaurant and splurge, but now it's become all consuming. It's like. It's it's become a much bigger part of our live. Exactly yes, and so this is a lot of what I think about is maslow's hierarchy of needs. Switch starts with at the bottom. We need food to survive. which is what you're you you're saying. It's kind of like a basic need. And over the last decade especially food has imbued itself into every other part of Maslow's hierarchy, so people are using food as a conduit to finding belonging to building their self esteem to building up their ability to explore all of their potential as a human being, and you're seeing that even right now through the pandemic is. Using food as a way of building community by making sour dough and posting it online. And getting comments an input from other part of a community be it on Reddit or an instagram or people are saying. Oh, my Gosh I need to define my days by something I'm going to start a garden and that garden is going to give me a sense of meaning and purpose through this time of chaos, and I can see that my efforts are fruitful both literally and figuratively. You remember when Popeye's came out with that chicken sandwich awhile ago and people were waiting in big lines and fights were breaking out, and people were getting hurt. And it seems like that that would never happen. Ten twenty years ago I mean. It just there's something about that that's. I don't know what it is. It's frightening for one thing that people would be. That obsessed. I've never had the sandwich, but it must be really good so okay, but what you're talking about here, right? Is this massive cultural shift in? It's not just happening in the US. It's happening all over the world and I've I've gone. I spent. Not last summer before in in Asia doing research on Listen Korea in China and Hong Kong and I was in Europe and lots of lots and lots not skype interviews with folks in South America and on the continent of Africa as well I mean. This is just universal especially in urban centers and what I have found. Is that this obsession with food and this new role? That food has our society is because we. We are using food as a coping mechanism for the digital age. Now I have spent a lot of time talking to really smart people who do tons and tons of research on the impact of technology be it social media, or even just the weight of a phone in your hand, and the overriding takeaway from that is that we are experiencing alarmingly high rates of anxiety, stress, depression and loneliness prior to the Covid Penn, pandemic. That is directly tied to the introduction of these technologies into our lives, and so we have a global culture right now that suffering in so many different ways and people are using food as a coping mechanism as an antidote something that is accessible to all of us. It is easily photographed. You participate in it at least three times a day. And it has become really this this ongoing form of management with the current age that we live in and I can guarantee you that the passion about the Popeye's chicken sandwich was not really about the chicken sandwich. It's about something larger than that is to me. It's like well if you're gonNA, spend your limited time. We have and with limited money. Most people have on a food experience than there's there's a good reason for it and a lot of the time it comes back to loneliness or desire for validation that we're not getting in our current environment or an. While with the world. That's fueled by things like email and twenty four seven news notification said if you want, I can go through the list of maladies that the digital age hat is inflicting on us, but at the end of the day food food is is medicine. For our mental health and our physical health. And it's not just about the food I mean for example there are restaurants where you know they don't take reservations and you go, and they say well. You know it's a two hour. Wait or even it's an hour. Wait for a table. Well, a lot of people don't WanNa wait an hour to eat dinner, but but plenty of people do, and they'll wait, and then you know six months later you go back to that restaurant. It's out of business because as hot as it was somehow now it's not the hot place to go anymore. There's also something to be said about the restaurant becoming the entertainment and over the last ten years. It's really shifted from like you know going out to eat. As a small part of your evenings plans as you were going home from a concert or going to concert or going to the theater. What have you now? The eating experience is the entertainment. It is the show. It's the entire evening and I think for a lot of people that two hour wait time is. Like the they're hang out time. It's their core social time, and I've found it extremely interesting as well to observe that those people who are willing to wait in those lines by and large. It's young people in urban areas. Like when I was in Shanghai I saw this crazy line of people outside a milk tea store. Now you can get milk D in a gazillion different places in Shanghai, but everyone wanted to. To be at this one store I was watching everyone after they got the milk t the first thing they did was take their phones out and take a picture of it, but meet in the meantime as they were waiting in line, they were just hanging out with their friends, and there were not a lot of people on their phones. They were spending genuine time with other people. This is really big in Silicon Valley. Where people don't generally take a break to enjoy a meal during the week, but on weekends will line up for two to three hours at a brunch thought with their friends. and there's there I'm forgetting who said it, but someone said. Brunch is the new millennial church and I. think that there's something to that part of the church. Service is the two hour wait. You know it's interesting I think. People have had the experience of. Del Go to their favorite restaurant because they like the restaurant, and and and it's not just the food. It's the experience of being in the restaurant, and and proof of that is that when you could go get takeout from that place? It's somehow or near as appealing. Right because. Every single restaurant experience I think that's a great restaurant experience. It's escapist. It is taking you away into another world. You know every single night I. Don't know if you've ever worked at a restaurant, but I have. It's like putting on a theater production. You set the stage you set the ambiance. You invite the audience in for that time to tell a story through the food through the decor and I think people are craving that they want sensory experience and something else that. That I spent a lot of time looking at as well as what's the impact of tack on us from the perspective of our physicality the inputs to our senses I've heard from a of people who say. Oh, Gosh, you're young. People are just over stimulated and the reality is. That were vastly under stimulated, because we're really only using our eyeballs, and the very tip of our fingers for most of the day, but we evolved for a world in which we are. By our sense of smell and taste and touch, and removing ourselves from our desks, and from our phones, and immersing ourselves in an experience so. Rich as restaurant is something that each of us does require in order to feel connected to. Our own bodies to the earth, and it is pleasurable on all of these different levels when I think of the people in the food culture that you're talking about. It isn't this big interest in cooking the food? It's just an eating the food and eating it in places where you're seeing and where you're with friends and all that. And although it is a food culture. It isn't that people are dying. Learn to cook in fact I've heard that you know more people. Watch cooking shows on TV than actually cook. And and that people just aren't that into cooking in fact I remember interviewing a cookbook author who said that you know for for people who write cookbooks now. You have to be very specific like when. When you would say in in a recipe in the past you know butter the bottom of the pan well. They found that when you told people that they didn't know how to cook. They would actually turn the pan over and butter, the varied outside bottom of the Pan, and put it on the fire, and that causes problems because that's not what butter the bottom of the pan means. Okay I hadn't heard that story before. That's an amazing at and coat that I'm probably going to reuse it. I'm point. I will say that food literacy among youth is on the rise so generation Z. which is those who were born between nineteen ninety, six, twenty ten, so they're in high school and college right now. They're far more food literate than my generation was at their age. Age or Gen Xers, and an even baby boomers in large part because of food media but food media. You're right. It came when it I kind of hit the desired geist. There were far more people watching it for the pleasure of watching it rather than to actually learn how to cook and this. This really was one of my other big questions that led me down this road of. Is like. Why am I watching Rachel? Ray Cook something on television that I. Myself Am not going to cook. What is pleasurable about watching this? Because? I knew that it was pleasurable. And what I ended up. Learning about is how looking at pictures of food, or even reading words associated with food. It still stimulates your olfactory and Gusty Tori court taxes. You are still getting a sensory experience from watching that there is something just very satisfying about food, TV or food porn, right food porn are those pictures, or Jeff's of the gooey chocolate, cake, or grilled cheese or brisket and there is a worldwide trend of watching people eat I for the research for this book project I, went to Korea and shadowed woman who broadcasts herself eating dinner every single night for something called Muck Bong which is extremely popular in Korea and Muck Vong means. Eating Broadcast and this woman? She broadcasters self eating dinner every night. She has about two hundred people who watch her every single evening end of the night about a thousand views on her videos, but some of her videos have over a million views, and it's just her eating, copious amounts of food and I was there in career I was able to talk with her through a translator, but about the impact of loneliness in Korea, the the loneliness epidemic in particular in Korean culture, and how that's driving. This desire to watch other people eat. In Korea sometimes actually a for like if people are really into mock bomb, the Muck Bong broadcast. Jackie will say this is what I'm making tomorrow night. Some people will then go out by the same thing product the phone up on their countertop and eat. Quote Unquote with the broadcast Jockey. It does seem that. The technology is kind of the ribbon that wraps this whole package of food culture because without it. Couldn't take pictures and post them of the meal. You're eating or the restaurant. You're eating at and let everybody know that you are indeed part of the food culture that that's a big driver of a lot of it. Yeah without a doubt. I think part of the reason why I am so interested in investigating. This though is how I'm constantly asking myself the question of how can I help myself and others find wellbeing through food culture so that maybe if you're not participating in these things, and you can find a community, or you can find a sense of purpose by becoming more involved in these areas of food culture. Be It learning to bake or going to dinner with friends at our hosting a dinner party or even if that's virtual right now? How can I and others help? People find wellbeing in this digital age because I don't think that email or smartphones or social media going away anytime soon, so it's like. How do we find ways of coping with this of mitigating the impacts of this? Anxiety of the stress of the loneliness. And I think one of the most beautiful ways of doing it is through food and food. And it does seem as if technology. The smartphone is really kind of the string that holds this culture together. You know it's it's the smartphone that allows you to take pictures of your food and posted to the world to show what you're eating or what restaurant? Your ad technology seems to really drive this, and it really is fascinating eve to row. Paul has been my guest and the name of her book is hungry. You'll find a link to her book in the show notes. Thank you eve of course. Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate the time in your interest. When you're younger like a teenager, you could probably sleep until noon with no problem, but as you get older, you may have noticed that gets harder. It turns out that as we age. It's not so much that we need less sleep. It's just harder to get enough sleep and that can lead to health problems. According to research, this decline starts as young as in your thirties, and the resulting sleep deprivation can lead to things like memory loss, Alzheimer's Disease Diabetes Stroke Obesity Heart, disease and other physical and psychological problems. Nearly every disease killing us later in life has a causal link to lack of sleep. According to the study senior author. Matthew Walker a UC Berkeley professor of psychology and neuroscience, getting more high quality sleep can make a significant difference in your health, and that is something you should know. Give yourself a subscription to this podcast a it is free and be. It allows you to hear every episode. You'll never miss one, and they will be delivered right to your device. You don't have to come, get me, I'm Mike carruthers. Thanks for listening today to something you should know.

Alan McEwen US scientist Mike carruthers Family Tree DNA Korea FBI Intel Muck Bong robin Gregor Mendel Midwest Washington
SYSK Choice: How to Have a Voice Youll Love & Proven Money Strategies for Every Day

Something You Should Know

39:26 min | 2 months ago

SYSK Choice: How to Have a Voice Youll Love & Proven Money Strategies for Every Day

"Today on something. You should know why it seems. You always get in the slowest line at the grocery store and what to do about it then. If you don't like your voice, there are ways to make it better. Most people when they speak are actually holding their breath, so they're talking like this as if they were holding their breath, but as soon as I do diaper matic breathing, it pushes so much more air out which makes a thicker, more powerful, more resonant. Resonant sound then. Is it really good to let your cell phone battery drain all the way down to zero plus the answers to important financial questions like should you buy a new car or a used one? It's pretty clear that buying a used car. It better deal and the reason is that those first year to depreciation really takes a lot of the value of the car. Why not let someone else pay for their appreciation all those today? On something you should know. Should know fascinating Intel. World Tom experts and practical advice, you can use in your life today. Something you should know. Mike carruthers. I've said on this program before that I. Actually Like supermarket shopping. I like going to the store. I have my favorite stores I. Have My favorite aisles. Hear Myself, say this it really so. It sounds ridiculous, but I I don't mind going to the grocery store I enjoy it sometimes. But the one thing about grocery store shopping that I don't like is the checkout because I usually seem to get behind the person who has thirty coupons, but one of them's expired so now there's going to be a conversation about that or the person who pays in cash and takes the pennies out one by one, thirty, seven, thirty eight. Or the person who's debit card doesn't work and they don't know what to do, and they don't have any cash in. There are other credit card doesn't work either. So I don't know if you've had that experience of always feeling like you've gotten in the slowest line before, but it's apparently a pretty common phenomenon with people, and it has been studied and the reason it seems like you always get into the slowest line. is because of these random interruptions like a price, check or a chatty customer or the? person. WHO's. Thirty eight, thirty nine. And that slows the line way down. And those interruptions can happen at any time and in any line, so if there are three check stands open in the supermarket. You have a two out of three chance of not being in the fastest line, and then the more check stands they open the worst. Your chances get of being in the fastest line, but it it probably all evens out over the course of time over the course of all your trips to the supermarket, but what's actually more interesting is that the whole system is flawed. If supermarkets did what banks in airports and Hotels Do, you'd get out of the. The store a lot faster, and that is you have one line and have the person at the front of the line. Go to the next available checker. Why don't supermarkets do that? Will Room is a big problem. Where would that line go? Where would it be, but a bigger factor is that customers don't like it? We human beings like to think we're in control and that we can beat the system we know which is the faster line if you give us the opportunity to choose it, even though we usually can't, and we usually end up behind that person who's coupons expired. and. That is something. You should know. Think about how much you use your voice, and how often you use your voice, and how important your voices two almost everything you do. And yet I would guess that most people don't like their voice very much when they hear a recording of it. and. I'm sure you know people who have irritating voices they're. They're hard to understand. They don't speak up. They an a lot and. So the question is, is your voice your voice and there's not much you can do to make it better or is your voice something you can really work with to make it powerful and delightful, and and a joy to listen to. Well Roger Love. Is The GO-TO guy on this? Is certainly one of the most well known voice coaches with many Hollywood celebrities among his clients, and he has a program called the perfect voice. You can check it out at the perfect voice dot Com and Roger Joins me now. Thank you so much for having me. So I think it's a pretty universal experience that when people hear their voice back on a recording, especially the first time. They really don't like what they hear they. They don't think they sound that way. They think it sounds terrible in fact, I have an eight year old who wanted to make a youtube video and he made a practice video. And when he heard his voice, he was so upset by. He said he didn't WanNa make the video anymore which I thought I mean. That's a pretty dramatic reaction to hearing your voice. It's not surprising that when people hear the sound of their voice played back. They are shocked and this. This goes back to birth, so let me bring us all back to that place. We think that we were born with particular voice, and then we grow up, and that's our voice sounds good or doesn't sound good. I can sing or I can't sing, it's. It's nasal or to not nasal, but the truth is is that we are simply imitating from early childhood, the sounds that are in our households, so if my mother has a nasal voice I ended up imitating if my father has an area voice, I ended up imitating and learn the sounds of the voice the same way we learn language so I grow up. Up Sounding like my parents, and then what happens bloom I'm an adult and I've never really figured out what my voices. It's just kind of a new incarnation of what my parents sounded like so that's why I teach people techniques to figure out what their voice is actually capable of, and then we train the voice like an instrument forgetting about how your parents. Parents sounded and how you grew up in what you ended up listening to, and we start from scratch again and say it's a musical instrument, and you can go from low to high, and you can have control over it, and you could could have an incredible voice now as an adult, but it's also like an instrument in the sense that I don't. Don't care how good you are at playing it. You can't make a violin sound like a piano or a trumpet. There are some inherent limitations to the violin that's going to make it sound like a violin and I think my experiences. There are limitations to people's voices that they they can make it sound as good as they can make it sound but it. It may never be as good as somebody else's. Yes, it's always nice when you're born. With certain fizzle physiological things, the and sound is dependent upon everything that sound can touch so the size of your nose, the size of your lips, the size of your cheeks, but the truth is if you were given piano, if if if God, Forbid Your grandmother passed. Passed away and she left you a Stein. Way Grand Piano and it is now sitting in your living room. You own a piano, but if you sit down to play it and you have no technique to play it. You never learned how to play it. You're going to sound terrible and all I'm saying. Let's even out the playing field. Let's learn how to. To use the voice like an instrument, and then see what Mother Nature gave you, and then try to put in a lot of what Mother Nature didn't give you by learning how to use it. So what's the? What's the low hanging fruit here? If if I want to improve my voice, what's the first thing I could do and start to get results? People. Don't speak loud enough. The reason that happens is because when they've heard their voice. They don't like it so the last thing they're thinking about is hey. Let's make it louder and maybe like it more. They're thinking the louder they are the worst everyone else. Here's the mistakes, so, but there's there's an issue when you don't speak loud enough. Because when you speak, and you open your mouth, sound waves, invisible sound waves are supposed to leave your mouth and travel away from you, and then vibrate the bodies of anyone that here's you and that's a scientifically proven, so you need a certain amount of volume to. To get those sound waves out of your mouth, and vibrate the bodies of the people, and those vibrations are processed by their brains, and that they turn those those sounds and vibrations into thoughts and emotions and feelings about you. So most people aren't loud enough to actually physically connect with the people there. Speaking to all I am I am so with you on that. I actually have taken the time because it. It always bothers me how people don't speak up and and I've been accused of. We'll maybe your hearings bad but I listened to other conversations, and it's amazing how many times other people have to say? What was that? Say That again? It's amazing. How often people must repeat themselves because they're not speaking loud enough, but let me ask you when people say and so many people say I don't like the way my voice sounds I hate the sound of my voice. What is it that they hate? What specifically is it? Do you find that people don't like about their voice or is it that it just sounds different? Different than the way they hear it one of the things they don't like about. Their own voice is that it bores the heck out of them when they hear it back. They think it sounds unemotional, lifeless and boring and the number. One reason that is aside from volume is melody. Most people speak, and they are acting as if they were just one little note on a piano. And they keep hitting that same note and they just talk on the same note as if they were only one key on the piano, and they realize that the most boring song we've ever heard, and it's also the most boring speaking they've ever heard. So people don't understand that you have to put some music into the voice, and the greatest place to that is through melody, making sure that you're hitting some white notes and some black notes and that you're moving around. Around the range, just like a song, and that's the biggest problem. People have one note barring one note totally lifeless I'm speaking with vocal coach Roger Love who has really become the vocal coach to the stars. If you look at his website, you'll see all the celebrities that he coaches or has coached in the past. He also has a program for anyone who wants to improve their voice. Call the perfect voice, and it is available at the perfect voice dot com. So Roger Give me a little mini lesson here in how to add melody, and and and that kind of range that you were talking about to my voice, most people as I said stay on one note the whole time, but you need to realize there are really three things to think about melody your either walking up the stairs where the melody is going from lows to highs, low, higher, higher, higher higher, or you're walking down. Down the stairs now I'm walking down the stairs, going from high down to low or staying on the same note staying on the same note, most people when they try to use melody. They're always walking down the stairs. I really like my dog I really like chocolate, and they don't know that they're walking down the stairs, but that's called a descending scale going from low to high, but every time you have a scale like. Like that and go from low to high, you sound sad. It's my birthday. Nobody brought me any presence. So melody can either make the speaker sound, happy or sad, so when the melody goes down, you sound sad. You're depressing the heck out of everybody, but on the contrary when you're walking up the stairs when the melody goes from low to high, you sound happy I love my dog I. Love Chocolate I love my wife. Wife and then you sound happy, and you make other people happy, so people need to stop walking down the stairs of melody. They need to start walking up the steps of melody and they're going to be surprised. How much people are smiling at them? How much people like them? More? How much people WanNa kiss them on the mouths more, but sometimes though, and I hear this kind of drives me crazy that people go up. and. They sound like they're asking a question. When they're really making a statement, and there are a lot of articles over the last ten years, or so that talk about valley speak or up talk how bad it is to go up when you get to the comma or a period that it might sound like a question, but science proves that. That is a of bunk. Here's where that going up got a bad rep. some people. When they scoop up as if it's a sentence, actually scoop I really like my dog. Could I go with you. Is it okay here? I'm school. Ping up right before I go HA I. But if you cleanly here I am speaking, and then I go up here I am speaking then I go up instead of go scooping up. If you just end the sentences, or when you right before you get to a accom- or a period, it just goes up. It doesn't sound like a question, and even if it did sound like a question, science supports that if you go up when you get to a calm or appeared, the listeners think that it might be a question, so you've engaged their mind and they're. They're more attentive. Thinking that if it's a question may be. They're going to be asked to say. Say something so if you're trying to keep someone's attention, the best thing you can do is go up when you get your comma and period and don't worry about whether it sounds like a question that actually is keeping people more attentive. We were talking earlier about people, not speaking loudly enough and I think a lot of that has to do with the power in their voice. A lot of people don't seem to have much power in their voice and people like you, and and I've been told that that we have power in our voice, and so I think we should talk about that. Where does that come from? First of all I honestly love the sound of Your Voice. It has a basic quality. It has some lows in it in when you feel I. Could you go higher? It just has a really nice round tonal quality so Kudos to you I believe I'll tell you exactly how anybody can do it, but I believe one of the reasons that you ended up with such great voice. Is You record yourself a lot? And you listen back and just like any singer who records themselves in the? The studio when they listen back. They say oh. I don't like that part. But this sounds a little better, and then they keep weeding out the parts. They don't like by listening and then making changes and listening and then making changes, but here's how you and I have learned, either by in being instructed or just by happening upon it to get a stronger voice. We've connected the voice with breath. Let me explain what I mean most people when they speak. They are actually holding their breath. But. We have a system call die from attic, breathing a breathing system that we were all born with so so you don't have to learn it. Most of us just have to relearn because as babies. We were all doing that and dia from attic. Breathing is breathing into your nose instead of your mouth, pretending you have a balloon in your stomach area, and then when you inhale. You let your stomach come forward. and that fills the lungs with air, and then here's the the answer to have a great voice. When you speak you. Let your stomach come back in. Letting your stomach slowly comeback in pushes just the right amount of air back out of your body, so that creates a volume and thickness and a resonance for the sound to ride out on this beautiful solid stream of air that you cannot create if your stomach isn't doing that. So most people are, their stomachs are stationary, so they're talking like this as if they were holding their breath, so they'll never create thickness or volume or melody, but as soon as I do die matic breathing, and my stomach comes in, and when I'm speaking, it pushes so much more air out which makes a thicker, more beautiful, more powerful, more resonant sound that you'll like. Everyone who listens to you will love a lot more. Let's talk about oems and is i. Am and sometimes I. Wish I didn't I've tried to work on? It and I'm better than I used to be. But why do people? And and what's your take on it is it? Is it benign? Is it no big deal or or or what the smartest people in the world who use or Or like. Non Words When they do that. They are instantly losing the credibility that they created in the whole parts of the sentence before they got to that point. Here's why we do it. It comes back to what we spoke about in the beginning. Most people don't like the sound of their own voices. Most people have boring voices so when they're communicating with people. They are afraid of losing the attention span of the person. They're speaking to or the people they're speaking to, so they use these place holders so that there's always sound coming out so that the other person doesn't wander away and do something more interesting or just start speaking themselves, so if I'm speaking to you and I get to a place where silent. The other person could either lose interest or jump in and start to speak. If, so so my brain says here I'm speaking, and instead of being silent I'll fill it on and then I'll jump in once figured out what I'm going to say next, but most people believe it's because you're thinking about what you're going to say next. The truth is I believe it's because you're worried about losing the other person's attention, but what you need to know and what? What everyone needs to know, is that those silence spaces when you get to a comma or a period, and you're supposed to be breathing with the dia- from attic breathing that I just taught you. Those blank spaces are your gift to the person or people listening to you I call it the power of the pause when you speak, and you get to a comma and then your silent. It gives the person who's listening to you the opportunity to process the words you said in the sentence up until that time. and. That's your gift to them so that they stay with you. And then you jump back in you get to another comma silence, you breathe. They think about what you just said. That's how to really connect with people, but when you fill it, they don't know what to think about. And they lose their direction for example if I say I really liked the color red I like green. and I like yellow You're wondering what the hell. Green and red and yellow. Is But if I say I really like Green. I also really like yellow. Every time I took that pause you thought about green or yellow, so we really connected, and then I got into your brain more than me, filling it with a lot of oems and us, and you thinking that I'm not as intelligent as you'd hoped, I was well. It's it's not only an interesting and universal topic. I mean everyone has a voice in their conscious of it. But it's an important topic because people people judge you by the sound of your voice, especially if they can't see you, but but even when they can I, think your voice either projects the right image of the wrong image. So this is this is Great Information Roger. Love has been my guest. If you're interested, Roger has a program to help you improve your voice. It's called the perfect voice, and you will find it at the perfect voice. Dot Com. Thanks Roger My pleasure. Reach out anytime you want. At some point in your financial life, they pondered the same questions we all have. Is it better to rent her own a home? Is it better to buy or lease a car? Is it better to save money or pay off debt and depending on who you ask, you'll get different opinions. Well Jack Otter has crunched the numbers, and he's come up with some pretty solid answers to some pretty common financial questions. Jack Otter is an editor at barons dot com. He was previously executive editor at CBS Moneywatch, deputy editor at Rodeos, best life and former articles editor at smart money. Jack is also the author of a book called worth it not worth it simple and profitable answers to life's tough financial questions hijack welcome to the program, and so let's start with credit cards. Should that be priority number one I mean. That's pretty common advice. Pay Off your credit cards. Make sense that is very solid by anybody who carries a balanced because there's no investment that's going to get you back. The twelve percent fifteen percent seventeen percent. You might be paying on interest. Try District Credit Card, so we'll number one abolish that credit. Get rid of it. Pay It off once. You've done it though I I think credit cards are a very good tool as long as you pay them off in full each month, so for instance if you take a debit card and use that to buy gas, if you just get the thirty bucks worth at the gas station, the gas station might actually put A. A hold on eighty dollars one hundred dollars. We would be the average fill up. Well Hotel also do the same thing, so not only room Shari's, but they might add a little extra. Because the average guests say uses the mini bar or the gym or orders room service, and once again until you actually go down, check out, pay your bill. You got all that money on hold and the problem is that you can actually overdraw your account, even though you have the money because that money is effectively frozen, so you're much better off in those cases using a credit card, and then you get the bill later off. Great rent versus buying I think you know it's part of the American dream to own a home, but lately I've heard. If! You're somebody that moves around a lot or Isn't really settled in your life yet that maybe it's better to rent. So so, what do you say? So I come down on the side of buying, and it has as much to do with human behavior, as it does with finance and one economists called buying a house essentially getting a piggy bank that you can live in because we all pay off the mortgage every month, and it's enforced saving so after thirty years. You've put all this money. And then he owned a pretty solid asset. If you were to rent for those thirty years, take every penny that you save because renting cheaper. Every penny you save and invested wisely. You probably would end up with more money than you would owning a house. The problem is we don't. Don't do that way. We actually go out to a nicer dinner or buy a new car. Get a fancy pair of sneakers when we have extra money lying around, and so at the end the thirty years you'd still be. You'd have no extra money than you would. If you bought the house so I stay by one big caveat, however I think there's a sense even after this housing crash that you're not really a grown up until you buy your first house, you know the American dream is still alive and well and I. Don't think that's right for everyone. especially a young person who might benefit from the flexibility of renting. In, the job market right now is that the workforce is not as mobile as it should be, you can get a job offer halfway around the country, and if you rent no problem if you own and your house is underwater. You've got a tough decision there, you know. Do you pay off the bank for letting you out of that mortgage or you just sit tight and hope for a job in your location, so there's a lot of reasons why I. Just people don't rush into buying unless you're really settled down and once you are. Hey, you're buying a depressed asset at less than four percent with other people's money. It's a good deal. should you buy or lease a car? So I, except for people who are using their business purposes that might allow them to either deduct the cost, or you might actually keep it on one side of the balance sheet rather than putting it under the deck column, which might detract from Your Business. Most people are much better off buying. Because another thing. It's a lot more straightforward when you buy a car. You know exactly what the sticker prices and in any interest charges. You might be paying if you're borrowing money. That's the monthly cost period. You know what you're getting at the end of it. You own the car with leasing. It's a lot tougher to tell exactly how much you're paying. What is interest in what is renting basically when you're running a car and then finally it? It all depends on how many miles you drive so leases for the most part assume you're driving ten to fifteen thousand miles a year. If Dr far more than that, you might get hit with a very steep penalty for those extra miles. You drive a lot less. You're actually giving the dealership a gift. You're returning that car with low mild and left appreciation that you've been paying for, and they were able to sell it for more money, so buying is usually the better deal. And then once you decide to buy. Do you buy new or do you buy used? Because you know I think we've all heard that buying a new car for all the thrill that had gives you a great deal. Because the car loses twenty thirty percent of its value, the minute you drive it off the lot. It's pretty clear that buying a used car is a better deal and the reason. Is that those first year? Two depreciation really takes a lot of the value of the car. So why not let someone else pay for that depreciation? If you'd like that new car smell, you get a pre-owned certified call with low miles. It's a pretty recent vintage, and you might even have a little bit new car smell, but you're paying less for it, plus it's still under warranty. You get those guarantees, but you're not is a lot smaller, but there is something about that new car, smell and that new car. Very intoxicating. I own new cars and is very nice to have a new car. I. Just think people need to realize what you're paying for. You know look at the math and think okay. This is GONNA cost me extra couple thousand bucks. Is that smell worth it and that way? At least you're making a conscious decision rather than just sort of falling into the trap Oh. My car is old I'm GonNa need a new one, so let's go to the dealership. There's one and then you recognize you know what you have to weigh off the cost of that new car versus the other things you could use that money for you know. Know maybe it's two thousand dollars. You could use to take the family on a vacation which might be a better use of your money I? I think one of the big financial mistakes we all make as we put things in silos, so you need a car right and you just assume that a certain amount of money is going to go to that, and you rarely weigh the options of Oh. Wow I could get a less expensive car. Put that money into college savings or going on vacation or the House and the last thing about cars is when you rent one. Should you get the pay for the extra rental insurance? so this is a frequent question, right? You're renting a car and filling out the paperwork and they ask you whether you want the liability insurance, and they give you the look that is scary, and you think if if I say no insurance, I'm taking a big risk here, but the fact is the vast majority people don't need that insurance is redundant. If you own your own car, then you insured for driving that rental car plus many credit cards actually give back insurance so for instance your deductible the credit card. Company might actually pay that. It's certainly worth checking with your credit card. Comey, exactly what their policy is rental cars, and if you carry a couple of different cars he's me a couple of different cards. Then you can use what everyone has the best rental insurance whenever you rent a car but really I as long as you have your own automobile policy, you do not need to pay up when you rent a car, so let's talk about investments now and specifically should you buy mutual funds, which pretty much leaves it to someone else to invest the money, or is it worth it to take the time in by individual stocks, academics have actually looked at it and shown that you are not paid for the risk when you buy individual stock in other words, so many things can go wrong in a company. You know you're sure that it's. And they make a great product and more people are GonNa buy that product, and that turns out that the CFO was having an affair with someone in the stock tanks there just so many things that can go wrong on the contrary when you buy. What I like is an index mutual fund that owns the entire market. You don't have to worry about that specific company risk. Risk you own the market and you're also paying rock-bottom fees, which is key because actively managed funds that is a stock picker who tried to outsmart the market cost you a lot of money, so the stock picker actually has to beat the market by on average more than one point three percent a year to actually break. Even the fact is most people cannot do that so. Picking stocks is really a losers game even for the professionals, so the idea that you with a time job and family and kids can keep up with the stock market and actually beat the pros at their own game I. It's a real long shot. You're much better off owning chief mutual funds, and then spending the time you would've spent researching stock doing something else, and do you think people can do that themselves or if you're really looking at at investing or having a lot of money over time invested in something that you're better off having a professional, do it for you. Well the only thing you can control when you're investing. Are The fees your thank? You can't control the market. Everybody has theories as to what the market's going to do. What interest rates are going to do? But the fact is no one knows that's what makes the market so first of all you want access to the entire market at low cost, you might however need help with your overall finances, so it's not just what specific investments but how much insurance do you need? How should you allocate? Say Your? Your retirement funds versus your college funds and for those purposes I do recommend hiring professionals and I think you should do it on a fee. Only basis that means you're going to write a check to this person, and that's painful, but you don't get the hidden costs that you would win. Say You buy a mutual fund from stockbroker and you pay what's called a load failed charge, but it's actually deducted from your investment, and you will know it unless you inspect your statement very carefully so hire. An advisor, but use a fee only adviser and make sure that they are fiduciaries. That's a fancy word which means that they are legally obligated to put your interest before their own, and a stockbroker is actually not obligated to do that. I'm not saying they're all books, but lacking no legal obligation, they don't have quite the protection that you get when you when you hire a financial adviser, who is a fiduciary and who is paid on a fee only basis, so they get no commission, and that means they have no commissioned no incentive to sell you something that might not be in your best interest. What about life insurance should? Should should you have just plain old term insurance or is whole life insurance where you build up cash value is? Is that ever a better choice or what? This is an easy call that is complicated so often by frankly sales people, the vast majority of people more than ninety nine percent, ninety nine point, five percent of people are better off with term insurance, and the reason is. Why do you need insurance in the first place? You need to replace your salary for your dependents. In case, something happens to you so if you are a father or mother with children, and they are going to depend on your salary for. For the next twenty years to pay for their lives, then you need term insurance once they graduate from college and we'll have their own salaries. They don't need your money, so it would be awful if something happened to you, but you have lots of savings that would be passed on to them, and that's that with whole life insurance you pay much much higher, monthly or annual fee, and the insurance is guaranteed, so we're all GonNa die, and so hold life. Insurance ultimately will pay off the problem is it is so expensive that most people can't afford to get enough to cover their dependents in the event that they die. Die Young and some people can't even afford to keep up with payments if they're cash flow changes, and they end up forfeiting the policy, so buy term insurance, and you might need to buy a lot of it a million dollar policy for instance if you should die tomorrow, and and your heirs would get a million dollars that would actually only generate at best about forty thousand dollars a year of income for your heirs towing. You think of it that way. You need a lot of insurance, but you don't need it for lifetime. You just need it for as long as you're. Dependent would have been relying on your income. So from your experiences financial journalist and writing the book and and looking at these questions. Is there something that really surprised you or stood out or like? Wow, one of the things that struck me the most with something that I already knew, but I had no idea how big an issue it was, until actually sat down with a calculator and figure it out, and that is the fees that people pay for mutual funds and one of the reasons that this is so important that we don't actually see it. Most people are unaware of it in your 401k. For instance you look at the mutual funds. Funds and most people probably look at their past performance, or what the Fund holds, and they make the decision based on that what you really should make. The decision is based on fees because I took a very simple mathematical example that may not apply exactly to your own case, but if you understand the numbers, then you, you can't apply yourself so a thirty year old couple figure they got married, and each brought fifty thousand dollars to their retirement fund, and they didn't invest any more until age sixty five, so that one hundred thousand dollars total. They didn't put a penny more invested entirely in stocks. At, age sixty five if they had owned the average fund, which charges an expense ratio of one point three percent, and they got an eight percent return again. I might be optimistic, but for the sake of math we'll stick with that. They would have almost a million dollars. Every time sounds pretty good. However, if they bought ultra low cost index phones and got the same percent return, they would have a million and a half dollars a retirement, so the difference between a one point, three percent, expense, ratio and point zero seven percent, which is close to the bottom of the barrel, is half a million dollars after earth at age sixty five. I was so surprised by the signs of that number that I actually went, and did the math oliver again on a different calculator just to make sure I've gotten to right so I if your listeners can remember one thing. Is, it's the check expense ratios on all their funds in their retirement account, or wherever else they might own them and go for the rock bottom expense ratios. They will save enormous amounts of money over their lifetime. Well with if that's the kind of money at stay, get certainly makes a lot of sense to take the few minutes. It's GonNa. Take to review that and see if you can save yourself some money. Jack Otter is editor at Barons, DOT COM and he's author of the book worth it, not worth it simple and profitable answers to life's tough financial questions. There's a link to his book in the show notes for this episode. If you have a cell phone or a tablet or a laptop? You probably think a couple of times during the day the battery charge and you've probably heard that you're supposed to let the laptop or the phone battery drain down to nothing once in a while to prolong the life while that used to be true, it's really not the case anymore. Older devices had nickel based. Based batteries, but today's batteries are Lithium Ion, and these batteries are better off with the occasional shallow discharge meaning, draining it down to about fifty percent, and then plugging it in for a recharge. It's still a good idea to unplug your device once it's fully charged up. That does help prolong the battery life. The operating sweet spot for today's batteries are between forty and eighty percent. So, you should try to avoid those convenient overnight charges, the charge the phone while you're sleeping, but they really do tax the battery and that is something you should know and that's the podcast today I'm Mike. Carruthers, thanks for listening to something you should know.

Roger Love Jack Otter nasal voice Mike carruthers editor Intel Tom youtube Hollywood Stein Well Hotel Die Young
Fascinating Backstories of Modern Technology & What Really Determines How Long You Live

Something You Should Know

47:46 min | 1 year ago

Fascinating Backstories of Modern Technology & What Really Determines How Long You Live

"Today on something you should know ever been driving and have a motorcycle just appear out of nowhere. I'll explain why. That happens a lot then fascinating moments in the history of technology from YouTube to the iphone, and the movie Toy Story Toy Story was actually quite a groundbreaking film. Because it was the first flea featured length film that was completely computer animated, despite how popularity is a lot of people actually deny just how much was riding on a success also pictures, you should never post on social media, and what really determines how long you live. And it's not about going to the doctor. If you look at the map supplant expectancy by zip code in a city like Philadelphia people living in the liberty bell area have life expectancies that are about twenty years longer than people and the adjacent zip code. And you spill Adelphia all this today on something, you should know. You know, my car insurance company is Geico has been for a long time. That's because Geico saves me money, and maybe they could do the same for you. If you switch all it takes is fifteen minutes to find out if you could save fifteen percent or more on car insurance. And Geico also offers coverage for motorcycles are vs and boats. Do you have renders or homeowners insurance perhaps? Geico could save you money there too. And there's so much more. Geico could help with plus don't forget the discounts. Go to Geico dot com today and see how much you could save. That's geiko dot com. Something you should know fascinating. Intel the world's top experts and practical advice, you can use in your life today. Something he should now. Mike carruthers? Hi, welcome. If you drive a car, you've probably had that experience with a motorcycle or a bicycle where it seems to have come out of nowhere. You didn't see it? And then all of a sudden, it was right there that turns out to be a very common experience, and it has to do with the limitations of your vision. And brain you see a motorcycle approaching head on from a distance occupies a very small part of a driver's vision. And if it's going quickly it's possible that the I simply doesn't get around to looking at it enough to make it stick in the brain before that motorcycle arrives in the driver's immediate vicinity. Let's take a typical case your preparing to make a left turn from a side road onto a main road. There's a motorcycle flying down that main road towards you. So you the driver you look left, and you don't see anything because. It's pretty far away. And then you look, right. And now you look left again. Now, the motorcycle is much closer almost on top of you. But because you didn't see it the first time you looked and this is important, your brain, simply discards it as a result of your brain not expecting to see it. So you pull out in front of the motorcycle? So what can you do about this? Well, you just have to be more conscious and deliberate. When you look around as you drive, it will lead to a much higher quality mental picture in short. You'll actually learn how to see things that are otherwise invisible. And that is something you should know. Over the last thirty years or so our lives have been transformed by technology the PC the smartphone software. The worldwide web we use and have come to rely on so much technology, and how some of that technology evolved and arrived in your life is really interesting to go go. I'll trade is the creator of a YouTube channel called cold fusion, which offers a series of really interesting videos on technology. And he's got over one point six million subscribers Dagogo is also the author of a book called new thinking from Einstein to artificial intelligence, the science and technology that transformed our world hide to go welcome. I'm Michael thanks for having me on. So you have really studied technology going pretty far back and then right up to modern day. And what I like about your videos is that they're really inch. Interesting and easy to digest. And and when you watch them, you see that there are some really fascinating backstories too much of the technology. We use today. Yeah. That's very true. Definitely interesting story behind most of the fundamental technologies that we see around us each and every day. So let's talk about some of them, and maybe YouTube would be a good place to start because you have this big YouTube channel. And I think everybody's been to YouTube may be posted videos on YouTube, certainly watched videos on YouTube. So how did all that begin Shaw festival? Just to give you a scale of how big YouTube is every single minute this over three hundred hours of video, actually, uploaded say, absolutely massive. But when you look at its origins, essentially, quite a funny story, so though were three x pay pal employees that tried making actually video dating website in two thousand and four and they pretty much try to get people to sign up. They even paid some. Goes to sign up to the dining website, but out it automatically Foued. No one wanted to do it. So they kind of abandoned that idea and then later on two thousand and four though to events that happened to major events that a spark in the brain. So the first one was the boxing dates Sonani that was quite devastating. But then the other one was actually Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction that famously happened. So it actually gave him an idea they realized that they couldn't actually find videos of any of these topics online easily. So they thought about it. And then they said well instead of making a website where people can play video of the dating profile. How about we make a website where people can played absolutely anything that I want. So they went about building that with the infrastructure. They already had. And then they went live with what the website was to be code you in two thousand and five not long after that. I think it was a couple of years after they went live. Google kind of looked in and saw that what they were doing was had a lot of potential. So that they bought them for a billion dollar deal. I think it was nine billion dollars. And. Yeah, came under the umbrella of Google, and they put advertising on there and made revenue out of the website. And it grew to be obviously, the largest video sharing website in the world. I think for a lot of people one of the first uses of technology the way, we think of technology today was Nintendo playing games on Nintendo. So talk about that in the early days when they'll coming up in the nineteen eighties. Those quite a couple of interesting stories about some of the biggest hits. So you might the video game. Donkey Kong the platform jumping game that was originally based off a popular TV show Popeye in the nineteen eighties. But intended actually couldn't get the rights to actually base the characters of the Popeye cactus the head to kind of just change it a bit. So the antagonised who was Bluto in the Popeye series just became a bumbling gorilla and Popeye actually became the character of jump men, which is the jump man who was actually the character that the play uses to jump between different platforms and so-. Mario like, everyone knows you who Mario is from the Nintendo universe. The origins of the character was actually quite interesting. So beckon the Dinan Tendai America was actually leasing office and the landlord who was quite a fiery angry Italian man code Maria Siegel. And he would often Baljit during meetings and demand light rent while the Nintendo stuff having meetings. So they decided to kind of play a little trick and tongue in cheek named Mara off to this angry landlord. And interestingly enough, the reason Maria has a hat and moustache isn't because that he was a talent an Italian plumber is actually because it was quite hard to draw. His features easing the limited technology, the pixelated graphics that were available at the time. It was just easier to draw those than the actual hair and mouth. So it's actually quite interesting when you look into it and pacman this is not Nintendo's actually, another videogame company code Namco. But pacman was actually originally going to be cold puck man, which was. Spoke P C K. But obviously, the Japanese executives will quite worry that young American kids would scratch out the end of the P and make it an F. And I guess that sounds too much like something else. So they decided to change the name just two pacman. So yes, I'm very interesting stories in the eighties when gaming was coming up. Let's talk about memes because you can't go on Facebook or Instagram or can't go anywhere and not see memes about somebody somebody or or something where did that start? Guess we could stop from the definition of a main because most people think of mame is just something that, you know, funny picture online as a few pieces of text under it. But the actual original idea of the main was actually coined by Richard Dawkins, and what it really means is actually just simply a spread of a cultural idea through society. So the I mean on the internet could actually be recognized as the smiley face. So. So it's an interesting story in nineteen Ninety-two those university student Connie Mellon University. His name was Scott fallen and he noticed something like back in the day. They did have internet not the worldwide web was we know it, but still compete as could communicate between each other. So students would often talk on forums and talk about different things. But he did notice that those no way of actually conveying human emotions during these text based conversations. So someone someone would make a joke on one end of the computer and on the other end at another university. Someone would take this the wrong way and stock getting angry, and then we'll start up big flame war and people will start shouting at each other just because the joke was taken the wrong way. So Scott noticed this and he came up with the solution of. Colon and then a parentheses to make I guess a pictorial smiley face over text. So when he did it he I if I just put at the end of a sentence, and then he soon notice that it was catching on other universities all around the country. And then within a matter of weeks, the hall of America was using it throughout the university networks. So it's quite interesting. When you when you look at it that way that it that one idea spread and people just intuitively knew how to that meant that the joy wasn't to be taken seriously. Okay. So the smiley face may have been the I mean, but that's not what we think of when we think of a mean today, we think more of a picture or video with some kind of text. I guess the first problem in the modern sense as we can look at it today would have been the dancing baby. Not sure if you remember that it was like, a little computer generated baby. That's a was just doing some dancing, basically that I came online in nineteen Ninety-six and it. I was actually part of a package three D editing software. Someone just founded off there and uploaded online and became a internet phenomena and was even featured in some TV shows like ally mcbeal and fed rock from the sun back in the day, and it really spread beyond the internet at that point say, I think that could be considered. Well, that is considered the first modern classic name as we know. Let's talk about a blockbuster and Netflix because that's like the big the big fight between two giants and nobody expected net flicks to win. So how did that all play out blockbuste-? I guess we'll know love that. That was you know, quite big in the in the light low in the nineteen eighties nineteen nineties and spend countless nights of people sitting around and having rental movie sessions, but. The nowhere to be found today, and that's mainly because Netflix in the two thousand net. Flicks was just starting up though are DVD mailing company and pretty much they offered to sell themselves to to blockbuste- for about fifty million dollars. But the blockbuster see I didn't really see anything in that. So they actually literally loft them out laugh Netflix out of the office. They just didn't see it as a viable business. But Netflix didn't give up they went onto in a few years and that two thousand and seven they pretty much went into the online streaming services sector and decided to that. This was going to be the next big thing because there was saying that broadband internet was becoming thing. Most people had. Computers with becoming an every home. So like it kind of was like a a good platform to to get into. So they started doing that. And to be honest, blockbuste- soul, this they saw net flicks going into the online business, and they said, you know, the CEO of blockbuster at the time famously said that Netflix isn't even on our radar. So they they didn't see it at all. So for blockbuster, you can kind of see it from their perspective. This the said that blockbuster was really a retail company and not a technology company. They saw online streaming something completely different to what they were doing. So they didn't want to mess up the customer base that they already had by changing so blockbuster decide to stay with the same thing. But as we know video streaming was the future and Netflix to go into thrive. And then blockbuster pretty much is. Well, pretty much out of business now and just a relic of history not pretty much, they're they're all gone, right? There's no there's nothing left but didn't blockbuster make some attempt to to catch up and to get into the streaming business or am I mistaken? Well, they did it was a very fleeting attempt, and it was pretty much too little too late. Netflix had a better service. They had the market share blockbuster was just coming in at the wrong time. And it just didn't didn't work out for them. If they had gone into fee is maybe, but though to light we're talking about big moments in the history of technology, and my guest is Dagogo all trade. He's the creator of the YouTube channel cold fusion, and author of the book new thinking from Einstein to artificial intelligence, the science and technology that transformed our world something you should know is sponsored by ADT when it comes to something as important as your family safety, you need real proj-. Detection with ADT and real protection means the nation's number one smart home security provider is standing by in there for you. When you need them. Real protection means having a safe and smart home with everything from video doorbells. Surveillance cameras smart locks lights carbon monoxide and smoke detectors all in a system custom designed to fit your lifestyle. Real protection means helping to keep you safe on the go in the car, or when your kids are at school with the ADT go app and SOS button. Wouldn't you just love having it setup? 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So the gogo talk about the origins of the telephone the original telephone because it is from the original telephone that the smartphone has evolved to and it's a pretty interesting story of trying to get that technology out in into the world at the time. So this was the the in the light eighteen seventies. Like telegraph is pretty much the best form of communication that humans had. So you can think about it. Previously to this time. If you wanted to send a message to someone would usually be on horseback or through a piney. And of course, that's quite slow and unreliable, but telegraph that was almost for the time instant communication say Western Union at the time was one of the biggest companies in the telegraph business. They pretty much had a monopoly and the William Oaten was approached by a young man code Alexander Graham Bell, which might ring a bell. He was the inventor of the telephone. So he he had this new invention. He went to William and said, you know, I have this invention. Would you would you like to to buy an integrated into your company, but surprisingly William didn't really think it was much? He actually famously said that it was an interesting invention. But what use could this company make for an electrical toy that's literally all William Soraya's, two years later off to William made that statement the telephone actually took off. And he realized the mistake that he made and for years he tried to challenge Alexander Graham, Bell passi-, but lost in was actually forced to leave the the telephone business. Just later. It's interesting like, you would think that voice communication would be. But at the time, it just wasn't most people probably wouldn't think that a cartoon as much of a place in the history of technology. But Toy Story the movie Toy Story really did. So so explain how Shaw Toy Story yet. Is it wasn't just a movie it was actually quite a groundbreaking film? Because it was the first flea featured length film that was completely computer animated. And that was definitely not an easy task when it was made in nineteen ninety-five. But despite how popular it is a lot of people actually die. Just how much was riding on a success because the really was almost never finished. Because those those just so much fighting and bickering within the production process. And the thing is if Toy Story had filed Pixar at self with the failed. That's how much was riding on the success of this film. So we have to go back to the light nine thousand nine hundred really understand. What was going on at this time pixel was actually producing computers, which a lot of people don't know. And this was computers full graphical applications so anything from animated into geology surveys or engineering just really seeing how to demonstrate these. The power of the computers to potential client. So one of the pixel staf John Lasseter, he actually came up with the idea of creating little short animation animated films on these computers that featured toys or inanimate objects that kind of had human lock behaviors. And then during one of these demos, the one of the Disney executives saw this. And they they loved the idea they loved the concept, and though like picks why don't you make a face recommended film? With us say the two pit together. And you'd think that this was the start of a great relationship. But it really wasn't what happened was joined production picks out put some ideas forward and Disney hide it everything that picks up pitched at them, basically, Disney one of the film to be quite dock and serious, and they actually wanted Woody. The main character the main toy to be quite a unlikable Jek. Just a terrible person say it's very different to the Toy Story that we night today. But that's how it was supposed to be pitched. And it was so bad that in nineteen Ninety-three during a an. An early production screening Hof ways for the film's completion those screening. And both Disney and Pixar just hated it. They hated everything that they saw. And it was so bad that the entire film was scrapped. Which is it's hard to believe now. But John Lasseter the guy he I created the animated pieces on the on the demo computers. He just pleaded with the Disney executives and said, hey, look, I really want to do this and think we can we can make something here, and he actually offered to revise the entire script and just two weeks, which is absolutely incredible. And he did it any managed to pull it off from that moment. Disney actually liked what they saw so to the rest of the Pixar staff, and they went on to create one of the mice groundbreaking films of all time ushering in the computer generated age of movies, which it was almost not going to happen. Certainly the one piece of technology that impacts so many of our lives all the time all day long every day. Is the smartphone? And for many of us that means the iphone and how the iphone came to be. That's pretty remarkable story in the mid two thousand Steve Jobs, actually pitted. Two teams against each other. With an apple one team was headed by tiny Fidel, and this team was to turn the ipod into fun and the other team headed by Scott fo-, stole was to shrink the entire MacIntosh down into a fun. So one team was going from the bottom up and the other team was coming from the top down when Steve Jobs actually went on stage to unveil the the I find to the world. He actually did something quite cruel. So in the presentation Steve Jobs was you know, he took out the phone and was demonstrating how to type and coal and all these things. But then he came to the context section and was like, okay. So how'd you delete a contact? And then what he did was he swiped Tony Fidel the leader of the lose. Team off the screen, and according to inside is at the time and apple employees. He never did this during the practice runs of the presentation. So to them this meant that tiny was in trouble. And he was fired. And it was it was actually quite a brutal time because both teams will worked extremely hot unto jobs two straight years. Some sacrificed the health some, you know, they didn't get much time to take off when they had newborn babies marriages break in that just worked with outbreaks. And yes, I guess really. It's just important to see the hod work that was behind the scene. So like next time, you see a shiny new iphone just kind of think about the sacrifice, and what people put in to make this technology possible in the first place. One of the exciting things going on right now that you talk about is in the world of batteries. And I think a lot of us have felt over the years not much has happened with batteries. And that there are. Matic in the sense that they take a long time to charge. They don't hold a charge long enough and things are about to change a lot of people still think that batteries acquired a bottleneck and haven't been improving for years. But right now, there's actually kind of a little better revolution going on. So we've kind of had the same technology of lithium ion which is the dominant batteries, and you laptops, new phones for for decades now since the early nineteen nineties, but a lot of people might not know that for example, like everyone knows the tesla Qasr, but since two thousand and eight the capacity of these batteries have actually gone up by sixty percent. And these improvements are actually making new things possible like the drain revolution of the two thousand and tens this wouldn't have been possible with less powerful batteries batteries as light as they are now. So there's a lot of research going on with battery technologies at the moment, for example. We're getting solid state batteries which safer liquid batteries, which theoretically could power and tie neighborhoods. Even recently this being the first real production electric planes coming out. So it's really really interesting to see the the place that we're at now. But the has to be one question Austin that's had why did it take so long and the reason full of this race and revolution was pretty much because tesla so now that Tessler is starting to succeed and all the other common effector is saying, okay electric cars going to be a thing. Now does really a potential for a huge market with battery. So with this possibility of such lodge prophet. It means that there's now a monetary incentive for a lot of research agencies and even commented factories to put in all this money into making batteries better for you know, for next generation battery. So it really kind of is a battery revolution under on noise. Going on right now. I appreciate you sharing the stories because it's always interesting to hear what happened, and how things came to be especially regarding the things that we use every day in our lives to go. L trade has been my guest. He's the creator of the YouTube channel called cold fusion, and he's author of the book new thinking from Einstein to artificial intelligence, the science and technology that transformed our world there's a link to his YouTube channel and a link to his book at Amazon in the show notes. Thanks to go now areas. Thanks for having me. Mike. Hello good morning, MS garnered this is your wake-up call. Thank you. Well, a have you on the phone? Did you know that with the Capital One venture card? You were an unlimited double miles on every purchase. Think about it. Unlimited double miles on everything you buy not just airline purchases. So I guess we should call this your wakeup call from Capital One. I should probably get back to work, of course. But before you go can I ask what's in your wallet capital? One bank. USAA, you know, my car insurance company is guy go has been for a long time. That's because Geico saves me money, and maybe they could do the same for you. If you switch all it takes fifteen minutes to find out if you could save fifteen percent or more on car insurance. And Geico also offers coverage for motorcycles are vs and boats. Do you have renters or homeowners insurance perhaps? Geico could save you money there too. And there's so much more. Geico could help with plus don't forget the discounts. Go to Geico dot com today and see how much you could save. That's Geico dot com. When you get sick. You go to the doctor because the common belief is that whatever's wrong with you modern medicine can do something about it. And maybe just be able to cure it. There's a real problem if you believe that because it's not as true as people like to believe the fact is that modern medicine is really good at some things. But not so good at others. And one of the things it's not so good at is making you healthy and increasing your life span, and you might think well, wait a minute. That's exactly what health care is all about. But you're about to hear a very different story with some very compelling evidence behind it. Robert Kaplan is a behavioral scientist at Stanford and he's been studying healthcare for several years trying to figure out what works what doesn't and why Robert is the author of a book called more than medicine. The broken promise of American. In health. I Robert thanks for being here. Hi, Michael, great to be with you. So what's the core problem here? What is it that you study? And what is it your mostly concerned about over the last series of decades? We've been studying what makes people better what makes people live longer healthier lives. And we encountered this terrible dilemma, and that is that we're spending more and more on healthcare in relation to other rich countries. So now US healthcare is the biggest sector in the biggest economy in the history of the entire world. So as these healthcare costs have grown, we have this other troubling phenomena, and that is that in relation to other rich countries are life expectancies are actually going down. Now overall life expectancies are increasing but they're declining in relation to other rich countries. So we think that's a big problem. We're spending more, but we're getting less in return. And why is that why is health care so expensive and? Why are we not getting more bang for our buck? We have a system. That's you might call reactive sick care system. So a system that that tries to find in fix health problems and identifying cures, but we're not attending enough to the real underlying determinants of long and healthy lives. There is a believe I think whether it's true or not that the United States has the best healthcare system in the world. And if you're sick going to the doctor is a good idea because there's probably something they can do to help you right? Well, I think one of the big issues is that there is a narrative and the narrative goes something like this that if you're if you're not feeling well, we can find the problem and fix it. So diagnose it and treat it and part of what I've been working on for for fair number of years. Now is is is that narrative. Really, right. So for example, on how well are we really doing at identifying the basic, the basic problem, and then fixing it in relation to having a broader approach that tries to think through a what is it that's making live shorter and less desirable. But are we there are lives shorter and less desirable than they used to be? Really good question, Michael. So that you'd probably been reading a little bit lately about how life expectancy in the United States declined over the last couple years that is actually quite an unusual phenomenon. So go back a century or so life expectancy in the United States has been increasing and increasing at an impressive rate, but it's not increasing as rapidly as it has been in other countries. So for example, if you go back to the nineteen fifties that the life expectancy is in Japan and South Korea were significantly lower than they are in the United States. And then we've now been bypassed. So South Korea is just a great example, particularly for women, they women South Korea have life expectancy Abbas near ninety years back in the mid fifty s by the way, it was only about fifty five or sixty years in in South Korea. So something's happening in other countries that allowing them to increase their life expectancy at an image. Dramatic rate than than in the United States. And again, there are a lot of determinants of life expectancy in medicine. Definitely has one of them. We don't want to abandon that. But I'm worried that we're we're neglecting the real most important determinants of how long people live. Well, wait a second though. The what you just said that women in South Korea in the nineteen fifties had a life expectancy somewhere in their sixties. And now it's near ninety. That's huge. What what's going on in South Korea that life expectancy in basically sixty years or so jumped by fifty percent? So I'm going to go on a little tangent. If that's okay and just point out that here in the United States. If you look at something like getting regular mammograms, for example, a find it fix it solution for women it may increase life expectancy. But most of the analyses suggest that on average heading. Increase in life expectancy is relatively small. So if you take all of the big randomized clinical trials that have been done in aggregate them in about a analysis. It turns out that the increase in life expectancy from Amman. Geography is only about a month or so on average. But if you look at something like educational attainment the highest highest year of education, you've achieved that turns out to be one of the strongest correlates of life expectancy the difference in life expectancy between someone with a graduate degree versus someone with less than high school education is about twelve years. So just the order of magnitude is enormous and there've been a lot of studies geographically in the US, and the most interesting ones is if you look at the maps of expectancy by zip code in a city like Philadelphia people living in the liberty bell area have life expectancies that are about twenty years longer than people in the adjacent zip code, and he's still so they're huge differentials in life expectancy associated with some of these social factors and actually the things that we really believe in. And by the way, I believe in as well the things that we. Should keep doing, but the lot of these interventions in the medical system have relatively small effect on life expectancy and quality of life. But what is it that happens? You don't inherently live longer because you sit in the classroom through a graduate degree or live near the liberty bell. So what's going on? I wish I could tell you, exactly. So there is a lot of work trying to figure that out that we didn't know that the socioeconomic variables that what we now. Call the social determinants of how are highly correlated with health habits. And so we know for example, that prudent diet regular physical activity and cigarettes are key factors in longer healthier lives. And again, if you just take cigarettes, which is something that I just had a profound interest in for a long time. You know, we have seen these very systematic declines in deaths from heart disease, and cancers and cancers actually over the course of the last couple of decades and people scramble to explain those in terms of medicines that people are taking in cancer screen tests, and clearly those have contributed medicines and screening tests, but the strongest curl out of those declines and cancers, and heart disease is that the. Decline in cigarette. Smoking yet, we know from some other work that we've done that cigarette. Smokers in the United States are actually not advised by their doctors as often as he would think to stop smoking. So for example, in the medical expenditure panel survey big national survey, that's that's done by the federal government people self identify as to whether or not they're smokers. So they they will respond to a question in the survey that says smoke cigarettes and among those people who smoke cigarettes only half of them report that their healthcare provider advise them to quit. So there's this enormous opportunity. We know that cigarette smoking is one of the very worst things people can do. But in fact, it doesn't fit into this narrative, some of the find it fix it narrative of what makes people better, and it gets make Lockton what would be interesting to know is of the smokers who said that their healthcare provider. Did recommend that they quit smoking. How many of them actually quit smoking? It wouldn't seem to me that having your doctor suggest you stop smoking is a very effective way to quit smoking. Yes, you're absolutely right. That just advising people quit doesn't do the trick. And so that we actually have been studying that to what extent does the primary healthcare provider go to that next step that is referred to some other provider. That's a specialist in smoking cessation or prescribe nicotine patch or some other medication that might be helpful in getting people to smoke as far as we can tell from the survey data those are very utilized. And again, it doesn't it doesn't fit into the ordinary pattern of of how we think of of cures, and and how healthcare is delivered. Yeah. Well, you're right. I mean, certainly when you think about it people, don't go. To the doctor for lifestyle advice. They go to the doctor because something hurts. And so the expectation is that you'll give me something for what hurts an insurance, by the way that I think that the primary care community is general terms and family physicians have been much more active, and they are making this a much bigger part of their practice. But we just haven't enormous way to go. It would seem though that that if the goal is to get people to lead a healthier life because that has more impact in terms of them living longer and being healthier than the fighted and curate mentality that we have now that that has to start with the patient that has to be up to people to decide that that's a priority that you can't dictate it or legislated and healthcare can't make people be healthy. And maybe that's not the role of healthcare. Again. I I think an awful lot of this is. There isn't there is this curious narrative and the narrative is that medicine does a really good job of identifying what's wrong with you in fixing it. And so the idea that a lot of people may be thinking when they go to their doctors as well. I don't have to worry about this. Because if I get diabetes or God forbid, some sort of cancer the medical care system, we'll fix it in the problem is that in fact, the system doesn't do very well fixing those things, and I can I can give you a couple examples if you'd like sure sure. So if you take something like, the the very best drugs that we have in preventive medicine, wouldn't example might be the statin drugs that lower cholesterol and the assumption that people have is that if they take these medications, then that will fix the problem, and they don't have to worry about death from heart disease. But in fact, that's not right that if you look at the large the large. Randomized trials what they show is that the medications reduce your probability of death from heart disease, but not very much they reduce them some. And if you look at death from any cause that is you're not just considering from heart disease, but you consider are you likely to be alive over the next decade? For example, the numbers are surprisingly low, but the public expects this enormous benefit we're in fact, the benefit is relatively small. So we can go back to that example of how much life expectancy, do you gain by having high cholesterol diagnosed and treated in various ways to analyze this. But it's probably about six months and blood pressure is probably year and a half. But again, the difference in having a graduate degree versus a high school degree or less than a high school degree is about twelve years. So they're very big affects for things that we're not attending to and. There are significant, but very small affects for a lot of the things that we consider the cornerstone of of preventive medicine. This is really well, it's interesting, but it's really significant because I agree with you. There is this belief this assumption with people in the United States that whatever's wrong with you the doctor has something for it and can fix it. And and in many cases, they may have something for it like high blood pressure medication diabetes, medications and all that. But it doesn't do what people think it does. It doesn't it doesn't solve the problem. So we're really operating under a false assumption. And then the other side of what you're saying, which I just I still can't understand is that there's a twelve year difference in life expectancy between somebody who has less than a high school degree and somebody who has a post graduate degree, and nobody can explain why that is other than maybe it's the logical. Well, you're more educated. So you're more up to date on on health information, and whatever. Twelve years is. So it seems like the word needs to get out that if you think your doctors going to save you you have another thing coming. Thinks that I think we should be doing. So for small we should be thinking about producing health rather than producing health care. So we have a system that really is focused on being reactive and taking care of people who are sick. We have to get out of the the acute disease model that is the find it fix it model and coming to the realization that most of what we're spending money on most of what people are concerned about has to do with chronic diseases. That don't have any simple cure. We probably have to think a little bit about how we finance or how we use our resources to make people healthy. And again, so much of the discussion about making people healthy has to do with investing in medical care, hospitals and clinics, and again to be fair, hospitals and clinics are a cornerstone of what we need, but we have to come to the recognition that we have to. Integrate health care with a whole lot of services activities outside of healthcare system. Can you make people healthy if they don't want to be healthy? Probably not although we might be able to create environments where people are healthier. And you know, your question is a really good one. The best example of this is what's happened with with cigarette smoking. So some of the cigarette smoking achievement has to do with with people making individual choices. But an awful lot of it has to do with early changes in labeling smoking policies that didn't allow people to smoke at workplaces or on airplanes and in restaurants, and so forth. Don't you think that the healthcare system has done a pretty good job? Getting the word out about certain preventative measures like cancer screenings, and physicals and mammograms and things like that that are designed to help people stay healthier because you're screening for disease early on. It's interesting that that their issues like a should've women get a mammogram get a Pap smear every year or every third year. Whether it's an enormous debate and people will fight to the death over over the different positions and look at the data and so forth. But at the end of the day getting Pap smear every year versus every third year might only mean a differential life expectancy of a couple of days at best. We're cigarette smoking if you choose to smoke cigarettes, you might be sacrificing somewhere between seven and ten full years of life expectancy, so cigarette smoking is is a very big impact frequency of screening. For super cool and uterine cancer is important, but just not of the same attitude as you said in the very beginning of this discussion, the healthcare system in the United States is so huge, and it is difficult enough for individuals to navigate when they do need services. But what knowing what you know and having looked at all this data. What is it that does make a difference for people who who are interested in doing the right thing and leading a healthy lifestyle? What are the big things that people can do that? The research says will improve your health and help you live longer. If you look at some of what's been coming out of the literature over the last decade or so just a couple of habits regular physical activity prudent diet and avoidance of cigarette. Smoking those have a big impact on the big diseases, diabetes, heart disease, and cancers and together those account for about fifty percent of the premature deaths in the United States and other other developed countries. So that at the individual level taking good care of yourself developing healthy habits and use of of medical services as well can have a big impact. And the idea that you don't have to worry about things because he gets sick the medical care system. We'll fix you. I think I think that making that switch could be very important for people, which interestingly is pretty standard conventional advice, but oftentimes the standard conventional. Advice works. Robert Kaplan has been my guest. He's a behavioral scientist at Stanford University. And he's author of the book more than medicine the broken promise of American health. There's a link to his book and Amazon in the show notes. Thanks, robert. Thanks for coming on. Thanks, mike. It's really been a pleasure talking with you. People post a lot of things on social media and the editors of pure, wow, dot com came up with some suggestions regarding what not to post on social media and here their suggestions. And they they ring right to me. Stop the endless stream of pet and kid photos, fewer fine. But if that's all you post, everyone is really getting tired of it. Don't post anything after two glasses of wine or more. Only post when you're sober. And you will not regret it they recommend if you're going to post sell fees only post them, if they are spectacular photos of you, keep those photos out of the airplane window to yourself because those of us looking on social media. We really can't see anything you really had to be there and the leg perspective photos of you on the beach. It's just not as cool as it once was and that is something you should know episodes of something, you should know post every Monday and Thursday morning. And so that you don't miss a single episode. Make sure to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts subscribing to this podcast is free. I'm Mike Carruthers. Thanks for listening today to something you should know.

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How Regular People Get Rich & What You Never Knew About the Clothes You Wear

Something You Should Know

49:39 min | 1 year ago

How Regular People Get Rich & What You Never Knew About the Clothes You Wear

"Today on something you should know why do some people eavesdrop well. Actually everybody eavesdrops and explain why then a new way to look at your money that allows you to enjoy your life and build real well. I believe that we should spend extravagantly on the things we love. As as long as we cut costs mercilessly all things don't so I want to start by asking people what they love and the most common answers are eating out traveled traveled and health and wellness plus some of the best and worst email subject lines. Everyone should know and peek behind the curtain of the clothing industry and there are some real problems we produce about one hundred billion garments a year but we only by eighty billion so that means we have twenty billion that destroyed in one way or another of eighty billion the average garment today is worn seven-point before thrown away all this today on something. You should know now that the school year is starting up. 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You will also receive four free proactive on the go bag which features they're T- zone oil absorber body acne wipes and green tea moisturizer. It's close to a one hundred dollars value plus free shipping with a sixty day money back guarantee so don't wait go to proactive dot com slash something thing to get this special offer again. Go to proactive dot com slash something to order and make your kids first day back at school the the best day ever something you should know fascinating. Intel world's top experts and practical advice. You can use in your life today something you should now. Mike carruthers five welcome to something. You should know episode number three hundred and fourteen eighteen. If you're counting you probably not but I count I kinda have to. We start today with eavesdropping. Have you ever eavesdropped and maybe be felt guilty about it. Well turns out that eavesdropping or snooping is something pretty much. Everybody does it's human nature and at once served a very important purpose survival in fact all animals eavesdrop in order to protect ourselves from our enemies. We're wired to try to discover things. They don't don't want us to know conversely. We keep secrets from people about things we don't want them to know. Think about the purpose of a whisper. The only reason people people whisper is to tell something so that someone else doesn't hear it although it's considered bad behavior to eavesdrop. It's pretty hard not to do even though we don't need to do it for survival so much anymore we still have that curiosity to know what other people are doing behind closed doors. We we satisfy that desire today with things like reality. TV social media all of those things tap into our biologically driven need to peak into other people's People's lives and that is something you should know. Money is always a fascinating topic because 'cause I think we all have our own issues with and beliefs about money in how we approach it. Remit Setty is somebody who has a really good understanding of money the and how people relate to it and ways to make that relationship better back in two thousand and nine. He published a big bestselling book called. I will teach you to be rich and a revised second. Edition recently came out and has again become a big seller. I think because his advice is different different from most advice you hear about money. He has a really refreshing way to look at it and it will make you feel less guilty about how you spend your money. Hi welcome thanks for having me so start with the one thing you think really makes people uncomfortable about money either because they don't understand it or because it's difficult to grasp. It's hard to do the number. One thing is that people are scared of investing and right now I can tell you there's tons hundred people listening saying yeah investing feels like gambling to me and what people don't understand is that if you save money that's a good thing. Give give yourself a pat on the back but your money is still losing money every day in your savings account and the way to true wealth is not winning the lottery or some insurance Ernst settlement. It's actually simple low cost investing. It's not that hard. It's pretty straightforward. We can talk about it but it's not gambling and so so I want everyone to be able to take their own wealth in their own money into their own hands and the way you do that is by investing in okay. Let's talk about what most people think when they think about investing what do they do. They think there's some massive computer screen in front of them with all these green things rolling by pe ratios that's nonsense. That's what people put in movies. You don't need to have those screens in fact. You don't need to spend more than an hour a month on your money. You shouldn't because the more time you spend looking at at the stock market. You're going to lose money. The way that you invest is to pick a simple low cost target date fund and you basically let me tell you how it works. If you go to a a typical low-cost company all you need to know is how old you are. That's it people oh think. Investing is about picking stocks but it's not what you WANNA. Do you WanNa pick something called a target date fund and a target date fund. I'll tell you why it's special number one. It's one fund that automatically includes stocks bonds all that stuff so you don't have to sit there and pick it out into good thing because most individual testers are not very good at that the second thing thing. That's really powerful. Is that as you get older. It automatically re balances. It becomes a little bit more conservative and that means that as you get older your money any states safer. This is a really really simple way to invest in all it means. is you set it up automatically. Every month. Money comes out of your paycheck. It goes into your investment account boom. Your money will start to accumulate in grow in row and that's where the magic of compounding comes in in. Where do you get these funds. Okay you can find these at any fund company so I- Invest Through Vanguard I don't have any association with them but any of these great companies Fidelity Schwab they we all have but let me tell you why most people don't know about these so if you go outside and look at a billboard you're GonNa see these nonsense advertising seeing that say things like be better than average and this really hits home with Americans because in our relationships we wanna be better than average inch at work. We Wanna be better than average but in investing average is absolutely perfect. That's exactly where you WANNA be. So what happens with the typical American is that they absorbed these messages that oh I really need to pay some guy to look after my money and what we don't realize is there's a lot of secret things that Wall Street bundles in that they hide from the average investor. I'll give you one number that most people don't no no. Did you know that if you pay someone to manage your money. Let's say you pay a one percent fee. Let doesn't sound like a lot one percent for me to not have to worry about it. Some guy takes takes care of it. Guess how much of your returns you're now paying because of that one percent feet take a guess Mike. I've no idea idea twenty eight percent of your returns. What twenty eight percent of your returns are now going to someone's pocket. Why would you pay that. It doesn't make sense. It's not like hiring someone to come clean your house her mow the lawn. That's a flat fee. What people don't understand in the math. Is He's very counterintuitive. Is that if you're paying. One percent. That's twenty eight percent of your return is going to percent. That's over fifty. Six percent of your returns going to this person. How does that math work. I don't get it exactly so you think oh one percent. That's not that much. We have to remember it compounds over time but here's the basic gist of it. You pay one percent and you say oh. I have a thousand dollars so I'm paying one percent. That's not that much but remember your money is is growing over time you keep contributing and it's one percent of all assets under management so as your money grows they continue to take one percent it and that money compounds over time time. B becomes bigger and bigger you. WanNa use compounding to your advantage not to some financial advisers visors advantage so here's what I'm saying. Most people who complain about money have never spent one weekend reading a good book about personal findings. I I want people to take this seriously. I want you to read good book and I want you to realize you can take control of most of the finances in your life. So let's talk about more of the day today's stuff. I think that GETS PEOPLE IN TROUBLE CREDIT CARDS and and bill paying in saving and all that and where people go wrong first of all I just want to say I. I have a pretty realistic approach to money. I think you should use credit cards. I don't agree with some of the popular advice out there that credit cards are evil and you should stop using them. Yes what if you use is credit cards in use a wisely you get massive. Returns rewards like free hotels free flights etc but the critical thing is you need to use them wisely so everyone already knows that they should pay off their credit card debt. That's given and yet they don't why is that because the credit cards number one are engineered to get us to spend more. You're and number two. We don't understand the math behind it so step number one. Is You WanNa make sure that you have the right accounts that means the right bank accounts outs and the right credit cards so let me get a little bit specific here. I think many people use the same bank accounts that he used when their parents opened an account for them. There are a lot better accounts these days. They offer better interest rates. They let you withdraw from any. ATM With No fees then with your credit credit cards. There are great credit cards that offer you amazing rewards. We're talking about two percent cashback. We're talking about amazing travel rewards get them mm-hmm and then the third and this is really important. You need to automate your payments. So what happens with a lot of people is they don't want to give up control so what they do is they get these bills at the end of the month and because they don't have a spending plan in place they sort of get all these bills. They shrug and they go. I guess I spent that much much and that is how they start to get on this hamster wheel of debt. I can talk about how to pay off debt and I can share some pretty interesting psychological findings findings about people in debt but those are the three components. Get the right bank account. Get the right credit cards and automate your payments all right talk about debt and the problems people have with okay. If you ask people who are in debt for everybody listening right now if you've got any sort of debt if I asked you. How much do you guess what percentage of people don't even know the answer to that oh. I know that that's got to be really high. That's it's got to be almost everybody. You're right. It's over ninety percent now. I ask a second question. What is the date that your debt will be paid off almost hosts. Nobody knows the answer to that but if you have debt it's not the end of the world okay. I've talked to people who have three thousand dollars debt. I've talked to people have two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. It's not the end of the world. You absolutely can make a plan to pay it off but you should know the exact month and year your debt will be paid off. Dat Dat means that you have a debt payoff plan. It means that you know exactly how much money you're contributing and it means that you've automated and just I think the relief once you know that date it could be two years in the future two months five years but at least you know what's happening and what is amazing thing about that is once people make a plan. They start to become pretty aggressive about it for example. If you have student loans and you pay an extra eight hundred dollars a month you can often cut that down by us. Okay people don't understand this because it's just this murky number in the back of their head so make a a debt payoff plan if you've got it and most people again they don't know how much they oh. They don't know what their debt pay off. Land is but it's not that hard once you plan it out in automated. It's like wow I can see a light at the end of the tunnel so let's talk about spending money and advice for people who are maybe spending too much money. You know most of the advice that we hear is someone coming on a show like this and starting to berate everyone listening and saying don't spend money on lots of eighties. Don't buy jeans jeans. Don't go on vacation and I just never wanted to live life liked and I frankly don't even think that's good advice saving three dollars. A day doesn't even really we add up to that much at all. What matters and what is more important is getting those five to ten big wins in life right? If if you get those big wins right just five or ten of you never have to worry about ordering Allante or coffee or an appetizer ever so some of those big wins or automatically saving and investing are finding a great job and if possible negotiating your salary. I think if if you're in a relationship finding relationship with the right person is a huge financial big win sounds counterintuitive but it's one of the most important determinants of your financial health so if you get these five to ten right you'll need to worry about three dollar expenses here and there and that's the difference in how you approach money once you integrate your psychology versus. Just this random advice that you see on the news all the time. I gotta say it drives me nuts. That's why I'm really happy to be able to be here. In share this different perspective well. It's great and it's kind of fun and empowering to talk about money this way. Remit said he is my guest. He is author of the book I will teach shoot to be rich. The revised second edition get to Old Navy now. All of your favorite jeans have just been redesigned and are now a whole alive. Better better fabric better fits for a better booty. There all new super flattering fits are perfect for everybody like the Rockstar. Super Br skinny pop icon skinny sleek power slim straight and kicker boot-cut with a barely there flare style started. Just nineteen bucks plus. Get your fashion in a flash by ONLINE AND PICK UP IN STORE in two hours or less. Don't miss out hurry into old navy and old navy dot com select styles. Only it's the semi annual sale at mattress firm. We're bringing you savings of up to four hundred dollars in our top rated mattresses flick a beautyrest Greenwood Queen Mattress now just four nine thousand nine explorer selections at Mattressfirm Dot Com and visit your near store to experience the bed of your dreams before you buy. We've got the best banks and savings of up to four hundred dollars. You know it's the best price to your budget stretches further at mattress firm. TRICIA pie suspending spending occasions only visit mattressfirm dot com slash sale so I think most people when they think they're going to listen to somebody talk about financial financial advice that the advice is going to be cut back overall roker tail. You're spending and often it. Is that spending that got the people in trouble so it's sort of rings true but what you're saying is really. It's not cut back everything it's spend money on the things that make you happy and cut back on the things that you don't need to spend money on well. Let me let me provide a different perspective on spending okay mic. Let me ask you a question. What this something you love to spend money not just like the love so my boys love hockey. They play hockey so I love spending money on them on hockey things perfect okay. This is amazing now one last question here if you could quadruple the amount that you spend on your kids for hockey or anything else. What would it look like. Who Go to more? NHL Games travel to other or NHL Games. Get them some great coaches to improve their game. I guess that kind of stuff okay first of all. I just want to point out a couple of things I want. Everyone listening to follow along Mike. Thanks as for having the courage to answer that question notice that you were a little uncomfortable answering the quadruple question. Why is that because most people have never thought thought about spending more on the things they love. Most people have only been told to cut back on everything. If I ask right now Mike. What do you spend too much on. What should you back. You have fifty answers for me coffee. This stat my car my house whatever but when I ask people what do you love spending on. They all have have an answer and then I asked this question about what I call a money dial. What if you turn that dial up two x four tenths nobody's ever thought about it but the answer. I love what you said about taking your kids to it to NHL game. Maybe you would do a meet and greet behind the scenes with the greatest hockey player of all time. Maybe you'd hire them up a different tutor or coach. There's so many things you can do. I share this example because I believe that we should spend extravagantly on the things we love. As long as we cut costs mercilessly on the things we don't so while everyone else is busy here feeling guilty about three dollars year five dollars there. I WANNA start by asking people what they love and the most common answers are eating out travel and health and wellness. Those are the most common by far so if I ask people what would look like to spend more on eating out. They typically give very linear answers. They're like Oh. I go out once a week. I'd go out four times a week and I challenged him. What if you actually went deeper deeper than just more. Might you eat at a different restaurant and I remember I asked this guy in. DC and he said first of all he just said I would eat out four times and I pushed him. He finally said I have a list of every Michelin starred restaurant. I would go to every single one of them and I said awesome. Who would you take with you. He stopped he step back. He smiled. He looked at me. He said I would take my parents because they've never been able to afford something like that so that is the power of using money to live of a rich life totally different than feeling guilty about cutting back here and there and that's where I want people to start is to think about spending extravagantly on the things they love by cutting costs mercilessly on things they don't when you say when you talk about wise use of credit cards is wise use of credit cards having paying off the balance every month. Is that wise use of credit cards. Absolutely yes and do you ever think that well some expense. Some purchases might might need a couple months to pay off never if you if you do that you you're making a mistake and you should not be buying that right now. I'm generally very generous with people when it comes to their financial management but I'm up stickler for a couple of things. If you can't afford to pay off your credit card debt this month and you need to not buy that but some people will have have car expenses because their car broke and they can't pay it all off this month but they need their car so they might take a couple of months to pay it off well. That's different so first of all. Oh that's an accident. That's something that was not predictable upfront but given enough time. Almost all of these unexpected expenses are a predictable. I'll give you an example. I used to get parking tickets and to me I was like Oh man. This parking ticket came out of nowhere but when I looked at a year and a half half of expenses they were actually pretty predictable every few months. I got a parking ticket so I created a sub savings account which everybody can do and you can start to put money away and you can put them away for things like you know car repair you can also put him away for things like Christmas gifts that you know are going to come up in in December or vacation so when you go on vacation suddenly you've got this money set aside. I heard somebody say and I really think this is true. That you know people have that emergency car expense or that emergency. Something goes wrong with the water heater thing and yes. You can't plan for those except up that if you look at back at your expenses something always happens. There's you may not be able to tell exactly what's going to happen but something always happens when you need to plan for that and that makes a lot of sense to me me too and I have to say I have a lot of empathy for people who always feel like they're trying their best and then something comes up and I can understand especially. If you've got an old car or you live in a place constantly breaking down. I completely understand Dan. The answer though is not to just keep trying to put abandoned on the answer is to step back and realize wow I might need to play a totally different game and the game means. I need to make a plan set an emergency fund up automated and then if I have to use it I'm set that way. I don't fall two steps behind when something comes up because it always will well. It's kind of refreshing to hear this advice because you're really coming at it from a different perspective rather than the usual stop spending money here. Don't waste money on that. Cut Back on everything you're saying you know spend money on the things you like and don't waste money on the things you don't and and it makes perfect sense and I think people need to hear that. Thank you thank you for saying that and that is exactly how I feel. I think when you ask most people what is first words that come to mind when you think of they will almost always say the same things shame guilt. Take embarrassment and is it too late. These are super common every single. One of them is negative what I like to hear people say after after they read my book is calm cool collected. I have a plan and I'm living a rich life and what I love about. This concept is if you're rich. Life is sitting front row at a hockey game or if it's buying really nice leather jacket or or eating out at an amazing restaurant once a month once a week for that matter great be my guest. I'll show you how to do it and I think that there's too much judgment. In the personal finance world. I think that honestly people wanna spend money on the things they love. They do need a little bit of guidance as to how to make it all work work but if they focus on the five or ten things that matter and they learn certain things that are super counter intuitive like the power of investing if they learn about how to negotiate their salary if they learn that while buying a house is not always the best investment and that renting can be really good financial decision that's super not talked about suddenly people start to realize. I can take control of my money and create my rich rich life. It's totally different than what everybody hears every day. Okay lastly since you brought it up. Negotiate your salary. What's the best way to tackle okay. When it comes to negotiating your salary I have helped thousands of people. Do it and a lot of them negotiate between six and twenty thousand dollars on average. That's a big number but it depends on how much they're already making so the typical advice that people think is that they're gonNA kick down their bosses door and stick out their hand and say Gimme money. That's not how it works. There's a much better approach but it media to slow down so the first thing you WanNa do. Is You want to ask your boss. Can I set up a meeting. I'd like to understand what it takes to be a top performer here your boss you ask him look you know. I think I'm doing a good job but I really liked. You great job job. What would it take and you discuss that you summarize it you start to execute on that and then by the time you go back and meet your boss. which is typically three to six months later? You've got the data as show you where to pull the salary numbers from and you come there and you're polite and happy. Your boss is happy to because you're making him or her look amazing. You put like theatrically you pull these papers at your briefcase or your bag. It's called the briefcase technique and you show This is what I've done. This is what people in my role are typically paid. I'd like to discuss e compensation adjustment and notice that there's no surprise because your boss already knows. Does this is coming now. I'm simplifying the whole thing here but what you can find is that most people are underpaid by thousands and to get a three five five or ten thousand dollar. Raise is a massive change to people's lifestyle so people forget. There's a limit to how much you can cut but there's no limit to how how much you can earn and you can earn more by negotiating your salary. There's so many ways but people forget and they focused only on cutting they forget. You can earn more money to well well. I appreciate you sharing the insight and the advice. My guests has been remit. Seti and he is author of the book. I will teach you to be rich. There is now a revised the second edition and you'll find the link to that in the show notes for this episode makes her meet. Thanks Mike I really appreciate it. Capital one is building a better your bank one that feels nothing like a typical bank. It's why they've reimagined banking and built something completely different capital one cafes they they offer checking accounts with no fees or minimums and savings accounts with one of the best savings rates in America. This is banking reimagined with viewer needs in mind open an account today at any capital one location or online and five minutes and experience banking reimagined for yourself capital one. What's in your Wallet Capital One. NA member FDIC news from sprint the wait is finally over the new Samsung Samsung Galaxy. Note ten with a powerful Espen has arrived at sprint and you can get it for fifty percents off sprintflex lease. That's right get the power of performance and productivity of the Galaxy Note Ten for less than twenty ninety dollars per month. There's never been a better time to switch to learn more visit your local sprint stores sprint dot com slash county not or call eight hundred sprint one today nineteen seventy nine months after one thousand nine hundred credit applied to bills with credit victim of lease and new line of service of canceled Ilian balanced dukes stacks coverage mouth or not available at her allegation restrictions black unless you just stepped out of the shower or you're relaxing on a nude beach somewhere. You're most likely wearing clothes. Everyone wears clothes. Lows fashion is a big business yet. There are some problems with that business. I'm sure you've heard about sweatshops where a lot of closer made in horrible conditions insult people make very little money and that's just one issue the clothes we wear and wash and throw away also have an impact on the environment and I suspect most people well don't really know about it. Dana Thomas is a writer who has served as cultural and fashion correspondent for Newsweek. She is a contributor to the New York Times style section action and she's author of a book called Fashion Opelousas the price of fast fashion and the future of clothes I Dana thanks for having me. It's great to be here so talk about what you found. When you peek behind the curtain of the clothing business we produce about one hundred billion items garments a year here but we only by eighty billion so that means we have twenty billion that are just sort of leftover and destroyed in one way or another whether it's thrown away burned incinerated whatever and then of those eighty billion the average garment today is worn seven times before it's thrown away and in China I've heard it's as little as three times and when we do wear them the way we wash them releases micro fibers we have we have way too much polyester in our clothes polyesters. Basically plastic and sixty percent of our clothes are made of polyester today because it's cheap and because it's light which means you can ship ship it easily too and polyester releases micro fibers when we wash them and and we wash our clothes way too much and now we have have micro fibers in our water systems and in fish that we eat and in the ice in Antarctica Polyester never by degrades polyester sure is like plastic. It's you know it's it's made of petroleum which we pump out of the ground. It's horribly environmentally damaging product and yet sixty percents of our closet has polyester in our wardrobe. We you know we have to start thinking more carefully and more thoughtfully really about our close. We have to look into what's how they're made why they are so inexpensive how long we wear them and how we discard them. If twenty percent of the one hundred billion garments that are manufactured every year go unsold why wh- were what happens to them. Why aren't they being sold That's that old business model of economies of scale that it's cheaper to make a hundred than it is to make eighty so we make a hundred and we throw twenty away. It's crazy model. That's so so wasteful and it it's an ruled business for eons since the birth of the Industrial Revolution Two hundred and fifty years ago essentially so that's one of the things that we sort of need to rethink. Maybe we should be making to order or maybe we should go back to those pre industrial revolution ways of thinking and consuming and shopping where when you need something it's made for you back before before the industrial revolution you went to your dressmaker and you're like. I need a new dress or you went to your Taylor and said I need a new suit and then it was made so we can do that now. With we meld this is with the digital age through the Internet where you go online and you order something and then it's made once you've ordered it and you can do this on a global scale at a retailer like Moda Operandi India where you're ordering from Marc Jacobs and you put in your order six months in advance and then they make clothes based on those orders or you can order from a place like Alabama Shannon in Florence Alabama Obama where you see address online on her website you order it and it's and she hasn't made by a local seamstress and shipped directly to you within seven to ten Sundays. Now these clothes do cost more but they should cost more. I one of the Great Aha moment was when I was reading a piece from nineteen forty in the New Yorker. We're talking about Hattie Carnegie the wonderful New York retailer and during the depression she had a line of clothing for the middle market consumer. We're cold spectator sport. Raymond Chandler called it the secretary special because it's what secretary could afford to buy during the depression and this new suits and dresses cost nineteen ninety nine. That's the same price we paid a date in Zarin H. M. Not Nineteen eighty nine. You scaled with two you know based on inflation and real prices and all no. It's still cost nineteen thousand nine which is what we're paying at the height of the worst economic situation in the history of our country so if the price of close hasn't gone up in almost one hundred years it shows that they've really dropped to a point that makes them throw away -able that we don't invest in them financially so therefore we don't invest in them emotionally and and we should be paying more for our clothes and and caring for them and caring about them more something. I've always wondered about is when you go into a department store and you see close in the men's section right in and the next day you could go into that same department and all the clothes you saw the day day before are gone and now the new stuff is in the new fall fashions or whatever are in the summer closer gone. Where did they go where where where did. Where do all those clothes go? After the day when they switch everything well they get incinerated. They get shredded. They get I put in outlets they get marked down and markdown and mark down again and went to an outlet once and I saw something from a luxury brand company and and have been started out. It's sort of like thousand dollars down to five hundred and mark down to two fifty. I mean each time it's like with a line through and the new price on this price tag this poor went out price tag and then from two fifty down to one twenty five and then won twenty five down to thirty nine ninety nine and there it was sitting in a cardboard box on the floor of an outlet and the Bach said anything in here fifteen bucks and it started out at a thousand dollars if that company could still make money on that item fifteen dollars that shows you what the Prophet Markup was so you know that's where they go. They go to these. You know they'd just go. They get marked down. They get thrown away. They get burned earned. They wind up in landfill. What we need to think about is recycling them or recirculating them. Somehow whether we swap closed with our friends we resell we sell them. We give them to charity though watch out for that 'cause charities over wash to or overwhelmed with donations as well we can resell them on consignment and places like the real real. We can repair them die them. We take you know when you have all these unmatching socks. We we tie dye them and then they don't match anyway but they look really cool so you can give clues a new life in many different ways and there's it also cool technology like ever knew that takes cotton t shirts and breaks and regenerates the cotton breaks it down to molecular level and regenerates it into virgin cotton that can be used again. There's all sorts of cool innovation like that in what we're calling the circular economy where things are back in circulation they stay in circulation that it's not linear anymore where it's birth of a product use of product and death of a product but the product carries on and on and on the impact of that is great because it doesn't go in landfill but but it also means that we don't have to grow so much cotton now you say oh what about the poor cotton farmers but the poor cotton farmers are using genetically he modified cotton it turns out four times more than it should or you know exponentially more than it naturally would. If it were organic you know that story about the cow that's fed hormones and it gives gives you four times as much milk. Well we've done that manipulating and science and chemicals in genetic engineering do cotton. That's why cotton has a reputation one of being a thirsty plant because it requires so much more water because it's producing so much more cotton and then it causes erosion because it's sucking so many more more nutrients other land than original organic cotton so if we regenerate the cotton we can go back to organic cotton which is better for the planet and for humanity as well talk talk about a blue jeans because you say they are the most popular garment on the face of the earth. They are at any given moment of the day half. The planet is wearing blue jeans. When I read that I said get Outta here and then I found myself standing on a street corner and I looked around me and sure enough half the people were wearing blue jeans and then I was at the gate of airplane I looked around me and half the people were wearing blue jeans and then I was giving a talk in a class I ask people to raise their hand. who had either warned genes that day or wearing them right then and more than half the hands went up? I'm like right. It's true it's really true and blue jeans. Were the original sustainable garment. I mean if you think about them. When they were made for the California miners in the nineteenth century the pockets and seams were reinforced with copper rivets of it so they would hold together and last longer and they would be and they were made of this really sturdy fabric that would be worn in the minds and didn't tear so they were totally sustainable and they were passed down from minor to minor they also the original great hand-me-downs and somehow how long the way that all bastardized and you know now they are prewashed. When I was a youth we had to wear jeans and break them in ourselves. We bought shrink sure to fit two sizes too big. They were made this stiff stiff cardboard like denim. That took six months before you sat down. You're like Oh that hurt so you know now. They're prewashed for us. There shredded you know they're they're broken inforce. They're afraid for us. You don't even have to their cutoff for us. I mean cutoffs used to be what you did to your jeans. When you wore them out and now we buy cut off and all of that but finishing processes we call it is very destructive on the environment it takes it requires five gallons of water to wash a pair of jeans and that five gallons is in you know at once not spread out over years and you know people boy. I've seen I've been to sweat shops and factories where they're distressing the jeans and it's one hundred degrees and their fans blowing all the dust around and they're drilling alling and sanding and Rasping by hand and not wearing masks and inhaling the fibers indigo dust and it's you know just awful. Let's be frank is just awful and they're being paid pennies so the impact of genes has traditionally been really terrible but happily there are companies like Gina Loggia Shia that have invented a way to stress jeans with lasers in an air conditioned cleanroom from you know by a computer person who is is operating a you know a bit like the dentist who steps outside the office when he's about to X-ray your teeth and he goes behind in that little booth does the X. Ray route well. That's what they do. You'd have to distress your genes with lasers and they have a vacuum that sucks it all up in an enclosed environment or they have a water system that uses one glass of water. I five gallons to wash the genes it's super high tech consisted system and then that water is recycled and Levi's recently contracted this company genealogy to to to finish all their jeans and Levi's is the largest producer of genes in the world so we have hope you've said a couple of things suggestions to help solve the problem like you know you could order your clothes six months in advance and you pay more for them and get them six months later or you could would swap clothes with your friends. I'm not I'm not going to be swapping close with my friends. I don't have those kind of friends I the these suggestions maybe wonderful but I I just don't think most people would do them. Teenagers are totally swopping closer completely into it. My daughter walks in the kitchen and I said what's that shirt. I don't know Oh used to be my he is I gave my in my sweater and she gave me her shirt. My okay cool so there's definitely a generational thing here. The millennials are also picking up really. We cool things like they're starting to so again. There's a rise of knitting circles and and and void circles and sewing circles which I love and I recently met a woman getting on the bus to shelter island in New York City who was carrying a little a little spinning wheel and I'm like what are you doing and she said I'm spinning my own woolwich. I'm going to die with my own indigo my kitchen garden. I thought Oh here's some crunchy GRANOLA hippie store and it turns out she's in finance works on Wall Street and this is what she how she spends her weekends. I'm like Oh there's hope and she was young and hip. I think after thirty years of of the digital revolution and globalization and there's this this young generation wants to go back to a way of doing things it's slower and and and to craftsmanship working making the things with our hands and not just staring at screens all the time and tapping and scrolling and I think this is where we're going to see change. It's just gonNA come because it we need it. It's it's in our DNA. We need to make things and we need to appreciate things and we need to touch things and we need to craft again. Come Matt if you will on the argument that yes people are paid. You know pennies to make close but if you stop it then then they don't make anything so at least their main yes oh yes and no I mean that's that's the that's the traditional serve the argument over giving these good jobs good people and they're rising up the economic ladder the Middle Oh class well. I've been to Bangladesh that if you that middle class is a long way from suburban America believe me. It's not middle class. You're raising them for maybe extreme poverty poverty but they're still very much stuck in poverty because they're not paid a living wage. They are not paid enough to cover the basic expenses of food clothing and home you know housing for their families so they have to work two or three of these jobs to make ends meet and they're stuck in these jobs. They can't get now now because they are so cash strapped so no that's a lousy argument instead coming up with things like the genealogy machines which I saw you know the laser distresses which I saw in Vietnam. You're creating better jobs cleaner safer jobs. They're not sweat shops and factories that collapsed. They're not in hundred hundred degree warehouse with fans blowing the dust around and people not wearing masks and walking around in inches of black indigo water you know they're they're working in air conditioning environments that are clean and silent. They're giving better skills. They're paid better because they're bigger better jobs and then we're creating jobs other jobs in making the machines building these buildings all of that so while we're getting rid of the crummy jobs creating better jobs cleaner jobs and safer for jobs. Nobody wants to work in a sweatshop. Honestly I mean anyone who says that should go. Try It for a day and then we can talk my observation here. Is that that with all the things troubling the world today that this is not something. That's really going to get most people's attention. Maybe some people will you know we've leave their own clothes and trade clothes and all that and you know you're attacking the fashion industry. You're attacking seemingly industry. The and the capitalist way of doing business and you know you can wag your finger at it all day but it is the way it is. So what do we do now. Well we can change it through the power of the the purse by those clothes and then it will change I mean the model is proving that it doesn't it isn't necessarily a good economic model one of the big companies in the fashion in industry forever twenty one which who has sourced in in sweatshops in downtown. Los Angeles. It says it didn't didn't know it was they were being subcontracted but you know if you can't keep a hold of and follow your supply chain within the city limits. You're you're not managing your company very well and sure enough there teetering on bankruptcy so it shows that even if you're paying super low prices to produce your clothes you aren't necessarily going to be a winning company and if your overproducing to economy scale you're not going to necessarily be an over a a a great economic winner you could also be teetering on bankruptcy and it's because people will stop buying those clothes and then what do you do with them. All well this whole idea of you know thinking about. Maybe washing. Your clothes does less. I mean we do wash our clothes awful lot and I remember being in other places around the world and people were amazed what you wash what you're washing your yes every day. What yes it's true now. The CEO of Levi's chipper says you should never wash your jeans. There does come a point when your genes are you know so embedded with everything that they could probably walk out of the room on their own when they get to that point you should probably wash them but but at the same time he's right that we should wash them after one or two whereas you can wear them for a week or two at least and they'll be perfectly fine friend of mine. I'm from Jamaica said that they didn't wash their clothes so much what they do when they got dirty put them out in the sun and the sun cleaned them which I thought was really curious and probably an old fashioned fashioned idea like putting them out on the laundry line and just letting air and the wind and the sun clean them there are ways to clean your clothes without putting it on the long wash hot water and doing yeah putting it on the long washing hot water beats up and breaks down your clothes and gives them a much shorter life they wear out more easily the man from procter and gamble that I talked to you said you know wash your clothes on the short cycle with cold water. He and he wants to wash our clothes. That's his business and he says if you do that you're saving water because it's a short short cycle. You're saving electricity because it's a short cycle. You're saving electricity because you're not heating up the water. You're giving your clothes a longer life because you're not boiling them and spinning them to death and and he said it also releases less micro fibers because it's not in hot water that releases who some longer wash that releases them so we're getting less of the plastic micro fibers from polyester in our in our water system. He said you know it's a win win for everybody even even proctor and gamble somehow. I'm not sure how because if you just wash cold short simple as that big the impact will this is interesting to me because this is a topic I didn't even know was a topic and so I appreciate you shedding some light on it. My Guest Has Been Dana Thomas Messing. She is author of the Book Fashion Polis the price of fast fashion and the future of close. You'll find a link to that book Amazon in the show notes. Thank you Dana my a pleasure my pleasure whether or not people bother to read and respond to your email depends a lot on what you put in the subject line the people at yes where did some interesting research they powered through subject line data from more than one hundred million emails sent by over seventy eight hundred companies to uncover patterns of open and reply rates to email. Here are some of the things they found immediacy. ESE helps a subject line that says today's meeting will more likely be read than if it says this week's meeting putting the phrase can you you chat in the subject line will lose about ninety eight out of a hundred people who will never reply the phrase check in in the subject line works much better then. Can you chat the phrase. Something of interest in the subject line has a very low response rate probably because it sounds pretty spammy and the phrase next steps has a very high open and response rate as does the phrase follow up the phrase touching base falls pretty flat likely likely because it doesn't mean much. It's pretty vague. Thank you as a subject line is Golden. It gets a high open rate and a higher response rate so thank thank you. Emails are well worth the time and by the way any subject line more than five words long is probably not good open and response. That's rates fall dramatically for emails that have a subject line. That's five words are longer and that is something you should know. We are always looking for for new listeners and you can help by sharing this podcast with someone. You know. I'm Mike carruthers. Thanks for listening today to something you should know.

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SYSK Choice: Simple Strategies for a Great Relationship & How to Better Use Your Mind

Something You Should Know

42:45 min | 4 months ago

SYSK Choice: Simple Strategies for a Great Relationship & How to Better Use Your Mind

"Today on something. You should know what getting angry does to your health. Then some powerful secrets to a Happy Relationship University study found that couple to consciously choose to wear rose colored glasses as longer more satisfying marriages. And the reason is they're always looking towards right in data looking for what's wrong then. Why many unhappy people are stuck in their unhappiness and how those people can break free and the fascinating human mind how we use it and how it changes. What we're asking our mind to do is to and scan very quickly like on the Internet and texting. Everything is done very quickly. And we're finding that that area of our brain is developing more and more and yet it can area of our brain atrophy. Hang Office today on something you should know. Capital one knows that life doesn't always alert you about your credit cards. I'm not likely to stop an interview of this podcast to say. Hey Colleen. Yeah Colleen with a K. Your free trial of movie plus ends tomorrow and your card may be charged. Do you want to continue or cancel so meet? Iino the capital one assistant. No looks out for surprise. Charges like when free trials expire and helps you. If you need to fix them e-e-e-e-no another way capital. One is watching out for your money when you're not capital one. What's in your wallet limitations? Apply something you should now fascinating Intel. The world's top experts and practical advice. You can use in your life today. Somethingyoushouldknow with Mike carruthers. Well aware that there are lots of other. Podcasts could be listening to so. I'm very appreciative. That you are listening to the something you should know podcast today and if you like what you hear I invite you to subscribe so that this podcast gets delivered right to you and you never miss an episode. Our first topic today is anger. And if you get angry a lot and now you're gonNA have one more thing to get angry about you. See you're angry. Temperament is more likely to shorten your life span. As opposed to having a more go with the flow kind of temperament scientists at Iowa State University found that men who admitted that they had a short fuse. When they were questioned at around age. Thirty five were more likely to be dead at age. Seventy than those who were less quick to anger. Well anger is appropriate. In some instances people who get angry over every little thing are the ones at most risk. Anger is a form of stress and stress increases cortisol levels in the bloodstream and that can lead to increased stroke heart attack and other health problems. It's important to understand the different types of anchor personal anger like when you get fired. Well that can be useful because it can propel you to confront the issue and motivate you to get a new job but when it comes to impersonal anger. That's that blind rage. You feel when you get cut off in traffic. Well it's simply not worth the fight and it may in fact be killing you and that is something you should know. So many marriages and relationships are shall we say less than satisfactory. They most likely didn't start out that way. But over time things deteriorate at least for many but is that inevitable must happen or can you prevent it from happening? Can You keep your relationship happy or even improve one? That isn't happy. Well you are about to hear some amazingly simple practical easy to do advice from Arielle Ford. She is the author of several books including the soulmate secret. And turn your mate into your soulmate. So Arielle why do you think so? Many relationships go bad. What what goes wrong. You know I think the biggest thing that goes wrong is two things. One people don't really understand what love is and they just don't have the skills you know. We weren't taught in school. How to be loving and kind and generous and communicate our needs clearly and to forgive and forget and understand what's normal and relationship because people live like it's not normal that our spouse will upset disappoint anger and annoy us. And that's just normal. What isn't normal is when we're always responding from a place of negativity or threatening to leave so that's the short answer but I think most people think at least in their fantasy dreams that you know with the right person. There will be no irradiation that love trumps. All that that that if we really love each other we'll get along all the time right but what usually happens. Is We marry somebody who has a lot of opposite traits that we make wrong for instance most couples? There's a spender and a saver. There's the on time person and the always layperson there's a slob and the perfectionist neat neck. Any of this sound familiar. There's tons of these things and we want the other person to be like us. But that's really unfair because we're all very different unique people and none of is perfect so we have to learn how to have fun with our spouses and how to make up fun stories about their behavior so that they don't drive us crazy so give me some examples of how you make this fun when you've got the toothpaste problem and let's talk about toothpaste. That was one of the biggest us when I first got married. Every time I'd walk into the bathroom. I see my to toothpaste which previously had been perfect because I had squeezed it from the bottom and I slowly rolled it up and now suddenly it was mangled from the middle because my husband had been in there and no matter how many times I tried to tell him. Hey listen that is not the right way to get toothpaste out of a tube. Let me show you how to do it. He would look at me like I was totally insane and walk away and after months and months of this I thought to myself. There's gotta be a solution here because I don't want to have all these negative thoughts every time. I see the mangled to but days based so I had a conversation with my to toothpaste. I put it in the palm of my hand and I said to it. What's good about you and I kept asking over and over. And finally it's SORTA whispered in my ear and it said to me be grateful you married a man who brushes his teeth and I saw that that was right and so now every time. I see the mangled tube of toothpaste. I smile and I laugh and I thank God that I'm going to grow old with somebody who may still have some teeth left in his mouth but it and just to be fair It's not just the toothpaste the way he does. The toothpaste bothers you. I suspect there things you do. That bother him absolutely so one of the big issues he had with me is. I'm the messy sloppy one in the in the family. And he's the neat neck you know he'd go into the kitchen and my Coffee Cup would be in the sink and he'd say to me. Why don't you just put it in the dishwasher? It's right here and I'd say what does it matter eventually. It will get to the dishwasher. And then he'd say to me. Why do you always leave crumbs around the toaster? But look at them like what crumbs I don't see crumbs and so this was going on and on over and over and then finally one day. He walked into the kitchen and he said to me he said you know. I got up in the middle of the night to get glass of water and I saw your Coffee Cup in the sink and I saw those crumbs around the toaster and I decided that since. I'm the one who has a problem with it. I'm going to dedicate the rest of my life to cleaning up after you and that was like the perfect ultimate solution to what was quickly becoming a problem. He's going to dedicate his life to cleaning up after you. Yes yes and then there are other things of course that he does it. I'm always like going crazy over that. I've decided I would do. For instance. He never seems to close the refrigerator door all the way. It's always slightly ajar and no matter. How many times I would point this out. Nothing ever changed so I just decided never to mention it again. Just every time I walk in the kitchen I not closer for greater door because mentioning it again and again and again would result in what nothing just frustration. You know having negative thoughts. Did you know Mike? At every time we have an angry toxic or negative or judgmental thought we suppress our immune system for up to eight hours. Some no matter how much you love other people if you're judging them or having negative thoughts you're actually damaging your own health. But what is it someone to do though when you feel irritated when the cup is in the sink or the toothpaste to his mangled? What are you supposed? Are you just supposed to just suck it up? No for me would I like to do is get myself to neutral. You know so. I don't WanNa start a whole. I mean it's not worth starting a fight over. There's some things that are worth fighting over these little things aren't so you just go go for a walk. Take a bath do some deep breathing. Get yourself to a neutral place and then ask yourself. What news story could I make up about this behavior? That would be fun and let me give you an example. I WanNa tell you really quick story. This is what I call Wabi. Sabi love it's about finding beauty and perfection and imperfection. I have these friends Jerry and Diane. And they've been married about thirty five years and Jerry is twenty years older than Diane and when they got married. Diane didn't know that Jerry had an addiction. Jerry is addicted to poppy seed bagels. And every single morning. He gets up before her. He goes into the kitchen. He slices a Bagel which sends dozens if not hundreds of little black seats all over her white tile floor and then an hour later when she gets up. It's the same routine every morning. She what's paper towel? She gets on her hands and knees and she wipes up the little black seats now one morning while she was doing this she was in a grouchy mood and while she was wiping up the little black seed. She had this thought. Oh I wonder what would have to happen so I never have to do this again. And that was followed by the thought. Oh Oh that would mean Jerry's no longer with me. And she began to cry and from that day on every morning as she wipes those little feet her heart fills with love. Because these seats now mean she has another day to spend with Jerry. This is true story. Jerry is now ninety one years old and totally blind and still eating. Poppy seed bagels. But what happened here was did Jerry change now. Jerry didn't change. What changed was her story about what he was doing. And we can do that with most of the things that annoy us now. You can't do it if there's bad behavior abuse or real addiction. Okay in that case you need professional help but for many of life's other annoyances you can make up a new empowering story that will make you smile. I'm speaking with. Reo Ford is author of the book. The soul mate secret every home has and probably some to the home depot can help you do both with the things you need to make things work a little better or take care of something you've been meaning to do. Maybe something to start summer. We have the low prices to make it all doable order online and get free delivery on orders over forty five dollars. Whatever you need to do or wanted we can help you get it done film. How doers get more done. Some deliver exclusions apply. Refresh your home at macy's Memorial Day sale with furniture and mattress supervise just in time for summer like an all weather seven outdoor dining set only nine hundred ninety nine dollars and make even more room for the family with a rally. Five Piece Chase Sectional Sofa now. Just one thousand eight hundred seventy nine dollars. Plus save big on closeouts from Sealy CERTA and beauty. Rest going on now at macys. Dot Com and select stores see macys? Dot Com slash stores for locations savings on clearance prices? Exclusions apply so we've talked about not letting the little irritants bother you in a relationship but good relationship has to be more than just not letting the bad things bother you. There has to be some good things as well. Yes yeah because a long term successful happy. Satisfying marriage is based on a lot of things. It's about connection communication chemistry shared vision for the future. I want kids you on. Kids live near the ocean. You WanNa live near the ocean you know. I like to travel. You're not a Gora phobic. You like to travel so some of the big things have to be there. Bam place other secret along. Marriage is to learn to put on your rose colored glasses because university study. That was time found. The couples who consciously choose to wear rose. Colored glasses have happier more satisfying marriages and the reason is they're always looking for what's right instead of looking for what's wrong which is just seems to be kind of If you're not careful and natural thing to fall into that you start to notice all the little things that irritate the crap out of U. S. And you know women in particular are like heat seeking missiles when it comes to finding fault. Men Aren't quite as bad. You know so the truth is start looking for. What's good and one of the ways to do? That is to get into the habit of looking for five things every single day that you can praise your spouse for even if they're little things you know like hey. I saw that you were helping little johnny with his homework this morning. You the greatest dad or I see. You've been working out again as guns are looking really good or thanks so much for you. Know cutting the line and taking the trash out. I appreciate all you do to help me out around the house and even if there's more you want them to do they will do more once. They're getting acknowledged for what they're already doing. Yeah I heard somebody talk about this once before that and that it doesn't as apply perhaps as much to women that that men need that praise more than women do in that that by praising men for what they do then you get more out of them that make sense. It's just simple common sense. You know acknowledge people for what they're doing right they'll do more of what's right you know my harvey'll Hendrix who oprah calls the marriage whisper. He's one of the world's leading marriage experts in the world. Harmful says there's no such thing as constructive criticism he says. All criticism is a form of violence. So we need to learn communication skills where we're speaking from a place of love respect and kindness. Those are the three critical ingredients. Love respect and kindness. But why can't you criticize or at least point out because maybe if you would just told your husband to knock it off with the toothpaste. Maybe he would have. But you if you hadn't said that if you would just had the conversation with the tube of toothpaste. I asked him a million times to do it my way and he just thought I was crazy because in his world the goal was to get the toothpaste on the toothbrush. Brushes teeth which he was accomplishing. He he couldn't see any good reason to do it any other way for me. It was just a visual thing. I didn't like the way it looked. You know let's say okay. So let's say Mike you and I are married and one of your chores is to take out the trash every Sunday night from Monday collection and every Sunday night I find myself asking you over and over and over. Good. Take the trash out yet. Hey honey is the trash out. Did you remember to take the trash out? So it's been going on for sixteen years. I always have to noise you to get the trash out then. One day I decide. I'm going to do it differently. Yes I had a fifteen times to take the trash out but when you walked in through the back door. I did something different this time I walked over to you. I put my arms around you. I gave you a hug and kiss and I whispered in your ear. Thank you so much for taking out that dirty stinky trash. You are my hero. You're like the best husband ever. I love you and then I would just walk away and chances are I probably will never have to ask you again. Probably not And the reason is there's two things. Men's brains are wired differently from women. Men need to things more than they even need sex. They need respect and they need to win. And so by talking to you that way. I'm giving you both respect and you're winning and I'm also explaining why I need you to take the trash out 'cause it's stinky and smelly and I don't want to be anywhere near it so now you have purpose in it you know so if you just learn how to talk to your guy you can get them to do almost anything and actually I. I have scripts on how to do this. My latest book which is called. Turn your mate into your soul mate and there's free chapters from the book at my website which is soulmate. Secret DOT COM. What about though with women? I mean we've established that men need that praise and respect and to win what a women need in a women want to be heard they wanna be listened to and they want their feelings understood so that means you don't try to talk us out of what we're feeling and you let us say what it is we need to say. You know so if I'm saying you know. Gosh I'm really upset about such and such but I don't want you to fix it for me. I just want you to listen to what I have to say. Then don't try to give me a solution. Men are always trying to fix things but most of the time we can fix it ourselves. We just need to vent a little so let me vent a little and and when I stopped talking say to me I completely understand how you're feeling or you know I'm sorry that you're feeling that way. Is there more? You know 'cause there might be more that I need to say and then once I'm heard I'm GonNa feel a whole lot better and then I can go back to my life. What if it's not a little thing that happens like taking out the trash or not taking out the trash? You're squeezing the toothpaste. But but what if it's something that's really upset you. It's a one time thing but it's a big thing and yeah okay I'll give you an example that so Let's say that my husband and I go to a party. Brian and I heard a party. And we're talking to Mike and sue. And Brian says something that shocks me humiliates me embarrasses me and in that moment I can say nothing why can rip him a new one publicly and I decided to say nothing and now it's midnight and we're driving home and I'm mad as hell now I could say something but then neither of us is GonNa get any sleep because I actually believe. Sometimes you can go to bed angry so I go to bed. He goes to bed. He still doesn't know that I WANNA kill him. But when I wake up in the morning I say to them. Hey Bri I have a problem. I really need your help with. Do you have ten minutes sometime today to help me with this. And he'll say yes. Okay yeah four o'clock I said Great. Why don't we go for a walk at four o'clock 'cause you WanNa talk about it now? It's like no no no. Let's talk about a four o'clock four o'clock we go for a little walk and I say to him. I know how much you love me and I know that you would never purposely embarrass or humiliate me but I need to tell you that last night at the Party when we were with Mike and sue and you set ABC. I felt X Y Z. And then I shut up. I don't say another word and nine times out of ten. I'm going to get a huge apology. Why because nobody wakes up in the morning thinking wow how can I make Arielle miserable today? That's not how people live. And yet we're always reacting as if people are doing stuff to us on purpose that would take a lot of self control to hold that in for that long and not say anything. That's that's a lot of self control. That's what happiness is about. It's about you know as adults. We need to have self control. We need to have become mature people. Who can you know understand when an appropriate time to talk is and what to say and be respectful? I mean one of the ways we can be respectful with each other is to find out when somebody actually has the time to talk to us and the time to listen because if you grab somebody when they're walking through the door after a long day at work and they just got out of traffic they don't have the head space to get into a fight but if you say to them. Hey I have something really important. I need to chat with you about. It's kind of a problem. I know you can help me. When's a good time? You know you're starting from a place of respect but to sit on it that long when you could have easily said something on the way home in the car which is when I suspect most people would would bring it up. I think that would be tough for a lot of people. That's that's a longtime to hold it in. Yes and when we're angry and we're triggered and we're reactive we say things we can't take back you know and so self control is part of the winning game of love you know otherwise. You're just going around apologizing all the time. Oh I'm sorry I called you such such such. I didn't really mean it. It was just in the moment. Well you know that's how bullies respond to. Oh I didn't really mean it. I'm sorry woods really that that old do you ought to be right or do you want to be happy. Do you WanNa be right or do you WANNA be loved. Well you know what I like. Is that the advice that you've just been giving over the last several minutes. It's pretty easy and straightforward. It's nothing complicated. It's really just a question of whether or not people want to do it. And if you would like some help doing what Arielle Ford has just been talking about. You can go to her website. Soulmate SECRET DOT COM. And she has some free chapters of her latest book. And there's a link to her book as well in the show notes for this podcast. Thanks Arielle here. Napa we salute the frontliners going the extra mile to get us through these uncertain times. You remind us of what really keeps this country moving forward. It's not just parts and tools its people and NAPA. Our people are proud to be part of your community so if your vehicle experiences a bump in the road just call your locally owned NAPA auto parts auto care or visit. Napa online dot com because Napa knows how to safely support our communities switch to sprint and get our best unlimited deal ever four lines of unlimited for just one hundred dollars a month if that's not an upward throwing enforce Samsung Galaxy phones on us shop from the comfort of your home at sprint dot com call eight hundred sprint one or come. See us in our stores phone. After thirty five forty. Two per month credit eighteen months credit applied within two bills a canceled early remaining balance. You the A basic after seven thirty one twenty one pay thirty dollars per month per line with auto-pay data deprioritization during congestion coverage and offer not available at work since taxes fees roaming speed maximum thirty dollars. Activation fee and restrictions apply. Your mind is called upon to do a lot of things to get you through the day. The mean the world demands that you do a lot and take care of a lot but in answering those demands. We don't always use our brains in our minds in in the way they were designed and if we did we might be a lot more productive and a lot happier. So what does it mean to use your mind correctly here to that is Thomas Sterner? He's the author of a book called the practicing mind developing focusing discipline in your life. It's great to have you here Thomas and let me have you start by explaining what you mean by how we're using our minds sometimes in a way. That's really not optimal well. One of the problems is that we're in a society that is moving or I should say a culture that is moving faster and faster. I think sometimes we lose track of that An example that I give is if you go back a hundred years and people wanted to cross the ocean they got on an on an ocean liner and if it took three weeks they felt like they were state of the art and moving at a pretty good clip. Now we get on a plane and it's six hours to London or whatever and we feel like it's the turtle ride our perspective of how quickly things are moving and how much of demand there is on us to function at that level in every area of our life is really skewed because it has come on us. You know really for the most part in a generation and it's it's continuing to grow faster the with the kids today. They expect everything to happen right now. And if it doesn't they're impatient and so with all this going on it's very hard to stop and just be present as opposed to thinking about all the things you've got to do all the things you did last week and so talk about that. Well that's true. I think one of the things is that it begins to feel normal for our minds to be running in many different directions all the time. Because that's what we have to do really to just function in our day and it doesn't matter whether you're staying at home or you're at work or you're You're out on your own during the day. Meaning it's a day off. Your mind is usually on a number of things at one time and we look at that as being necessary to function and the problem is our minds get more and more momentum in running at this high speed and all the time and because of that when we want to stop our mind and focus on one thing at a at a time. We don't really have that skill set because our mind is not been asked to do that. In fact Interestingly enough what? We're asking our mind to do and this is something that's being studied is to skim and scan very quickly like on the Internet and texting. Everything is done very quickly. And we're finding that area of our brain is developing more and more and yet the contemporary area of our brain the the area of our brain that focuses in and is more present. Moment is atrophying and this is something that is actually being proven through research. It's not just our imagination. And it's it's a result. It's a natural result of what we're asking our brain to do. Our brain is just basically evolving to accommodate our needs. So if everybody is doing this scanning and and thinking about tomorrow and all this So what's wrong with that? What's the problem? The problem is that for one. We're finding that it's not very productive. there's a a guy by the name of Dave Crenshaw. Who's written the book? I think it's the myth of multitasking and one of the things that he talks about in that book and I He admits that he did not do. The research is just studied. The research is that what we're talking about here is switch tasking. We think of it as multitasking. We're doing all these things at one time. But we're actually not doing all these things at one time brain actually starts and stops every time we changed direction so an example of that is you're sitting at your desk you're doing a report. Somebody pokes her head in the door and says hey you want to go to lunch at the Delhi You stop what you're doing. You look up and you say yes What time and then you answer that and then you go back to. What you were doing is they. They leave the room and what has to happen. Your brain for that That whole cycle to to occur is amazing and what they have found. Is that when you add this type of thing up during the day as we keep switch tasking all day long? It's not only physically exhausting. But it really robs us of a very large percentage of productivity that we could be accessing if we were more focused on one thing at a time but there's also stress in other problems that that come up there are stress because what ends up happening. Is that what we're trying to do? We have so many things to do in a day. That what we're trying to do is problem and be all these different places even if it's subconsciously. We're working at our desk. Where with our our kids and we're thinking about this thing that has to get done on Monday morning and it Saturday afternoon. or We're just not present in what we're doing and because of that. Our mind is working at several different levels and that creates stress. Because we feel this Immediacy of of these tasks that need to be done. And even though it's it's totally impractical for us to be thinking about something that needs to be done on Monday when we're actually someplace else on Saturday. It's become a normal Way that we function and because of that. We have these several different scenarios running in the background all the time. Most of the time it's happening in such a way that we're not even aware of it and because of that we have this Our thoughts are our mind is very agitated. It's ramped up and we have a lot of thoughts going on in the background that we're not even aware of in these thoughts are generating motions. Which many times are pleasant or stressful? And it's just happening to us and we're not even aware of it and so what's your prescription. What are you suggesting people do different? Well the you know someone wants asked me you know what I thought. The most important personal quality was to develop in your life and it's it's what will call self awareness for the For this this discussion and I would say. Most people are not aware of their thoughts. They're basically just in their thoughts. Their thoughts happened all day long and they just reacted their thoughts and This all feels normal so one of the things I have people do when I'm doing a presentation or A one on one consultation and even with Sports People. I work with in golf with People for course management and better focus is that I'll ask them to sit in a chair for ten minutes and stop thinking and of course what they find is that they can't do it and so my next que- my next question to them is so so what have you learned. And what they've learned is that their mind produces thoughts with or without their permission. And you need to learn to be able to be. What is where we for two more and more today as the observer because once you get that awareness that you are not your thoughts. You're the one that has thoughts and also that your mind can produce thoughts and will produce thoughts. 'cause that's what it does with or without your permission and that these thoughts that it's producing will produce emotional responses within you once you become aware of that then you begin to be able to Gain control of that. And because you can't change anything that you're not aware of so. The awareness has to come first after. You gain the awareness. Then you can begin to work on the process of deciding what thought you're going to have been when you're going to have them and that's when you really start to begin to learn how to focus talk about the process verses the result well we live in a very product oriented society. We are very bottom line oriented and Even though we have studied cultures such as the Japanese culture in the early nineteen seventies where they were bringing the cars into the country that were much higher quality than the The American cars and also there. I happened to be in the piano industry at that. Time and in the service industry and the panels were for superior than what was being produced in the United States and they had a mindset that was very process oriented and we really have trouble being oriented that way because we become very attached to the product and that comes from the feeling of. We're not going to feel satisfied. Were complete until we get the product and actually you know if you look through your life. You'll find that there have been many many products that have wanted and desired through your life and you've probably acquired most of them and they really haven't changed the sense of whether or not you're happy. They do bring a very temporary sense. But it's the process of acquiring where achieving the goal. That really is where the enjoyment is. And we've really of got the whole the whole system backwards and we need to learn to focus more on the process and when you focus on the process and your goal is being in the process. Then you're reaching your goal in every second that you stay in the process and then the the goal or the product it just flows towards you naturally and we see this in so many things we we tell people to stop reaching for things so hard for stop wanting thing so hard because it really does create this sense of. I'm not going to be happy until I get to. That point and everything I have to go through between now and then every moment I have to go through between now and then is this. No this nuisance that. I have to endure until I reach this one specific point and then everything is going to be okay but in reality when we reach that point then we just we pick another product so even on a commercial level meaning in the In the corporate world like the piano business the Japanese were were putting the United States piano manufacturers out of business in fact by the early nineteen eighties. Most of them were out of business but the the Japanese worker had a sense of. I don't have to get fifty pan is done today. I just have to make each that. I work on correct and that seemed totally counter intuitive to the American industry and yet The proof was there that actually was much more productive and the results were much higher. But sometimes what you're talking about. Sometimes it seems easy. I mean. We've all had that experience of being in the zone where things just happen. Everything happens correctly everything comes together. The problem is it's hard to stay in that zone. It is hard to stay in it but again part of that is because we don't practice that you know. I have worked with golfers and I was working with the junior golf Girl Young girl that was very intelligent and a very high level Golfer and we talked about this quite a bit and I told her that. What's interesting to me about if you just take something like golf? Is that people that get involved in golf very seriously or really. Any sport is they consider quite natural tap to spend hours and hours and hours of applied effort to develop a quality. Golf swing that holds up on all kinds of situations. Then they get to a level where they say and then. This girl was one where she said you know. My mind is my limitation at this point. I have the golf swing but I get out there and my mind starts taking over. I hit a bad shot. I start dwelling on that. I missed a pot. I started dwelling on that. And I don't seem to have control over where my thoughts are going in the emotions that I'm experiencing so we begin to work on this and they expect that mastery of that part of their game to come in an afternoon and and yet they've got thousands of hours in developing the skill set of equality. Golf swing so this thing here. This what we're talking about today is something that we're proving that this is a key to bringing last thoughts less stress higher productivity a sensitive inner peace and something like that is going to take a certain amount of effort. But we're putting effort out all day long and it's very worth channeling your effort into something that is going to pay you dividends so. I feel like what we're talking about here. We have to. We have to accept the fact that like learning to play an instrument or anything like that. You don't just you make the decision. You're going to do it and then you have it. It's a decision that you it's a a system that you work at but when you don't WanNa fall into this yeah but I just want to be good at it because now we're back to the process and the product. You're thinking that well when I get good at it then I'll be happy. Well if you're working at it constantly than your you have already made tremendous strides and you talk. I think in the book about you know everybody's experienced that where you've driven some length of time. And you have no recollection of the last ten miles because your mind has been elsewhere and sometimes it's kind of scary that you really haven't been really paying attention yet when you learn to drive but you're so focused on every little movement and and that's kind of what you're talking about here. Yeah and and the the catch twenty two the irony. I guess is a better word for that. Is that what we call the beginner's mind when you begin to learn something you're always totally focused on it? The better you get at it the more it drops into the background and other areas of the brain takeover and they just handle it whether you know if you look Toddlers learning how to walk. I mean they are so focused on what they're doing and keeping their balance and yet you know within a year so they're walking across the room and that's all involuntary you know the brains handling that in the background cause the brain is already learned how to do it. And that's one of the reasons why it's difficult to to bring your mind into to this on stuff that you're very good at which is one of the reasons why. I tell people that slowing down trying to force yourself to operate slowly whether take something as simple as brushing your teeth and most of us we stand there. We brush our teeth real fast and then we walk out of the bathroom. Well if you sit there and you try to really pay attention to your Tooth brushing process you will find by slowing down. You can't think of anything else. It's just brought it slows. Your mind focuses everything on just brushing your teeth and it's very simple things like that that we can do that. Help us to experience what it feels like to be. Just be in the moment and be in the process of what you're doing and it doesn't Nali doesn't take longer but generally you have no wasted effort in whatever you're working ad and you'll find that you're you're much more productive. You produce much more with less effort and much more succinctly great well and who wouldn't want to be able to do that Thomas Turner has been my guest and the name of his book is the practicing mind. You'll find a link to that book at Amazon in the show notes. Thanks Thomas and finally today on something you should know unhappy. People there's a famous Stanford study called the term in study that followed subjects around for eight decades and found that being around unhappy people not necessarily being unhappy just being around unhappy. People is linked to poor health in shorter lifespan. Of being around unhappy. People is bad for you then. Wouldn't you think that being unhappy yourself is gotta be not the best thing and interestingly psychologist from the University of California who study happiness found that genetics in life circumstances only account for about fifty percent of a person's happiness? The rest is up to you and here are some important traits of unhappy people. Unhappy People are waiting for the future to be happy. They have that. I'll be happy when and it's an easy trap for them to fall into next. They spent too much time acquiring things while friends family and hobbies are much more fulfilling and bring you happiness. They tend to stay home unhappy. People do when you're depressed. You avoid people but people will boost your mood and give you perspective on life so unhappy people would do well to get out and mingled and they complain. We know we know that unhappy people spend a lot of time. Complaining and complaining is a self reinforcing behavior by constantly talking and therefore thinking about. How bad things are you? Reaffirm your negative beliefs and that is something you should know. That is the podcast for today. I appreciate you listening. I always appreciate hearing from you as well if you'd like to drop me a line with any questions or comments and tell me how you found the podcast. I always like hearing how people come across the podcast. So if you have a moment and drop me a note I'd appreciate it. My email address is Mike at somethingyoushouldknow dot net. I'm Mike carruthers. Thanks for listening today to something you should know.

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How to Change Your Personality & How to Manage The Faster Speed of Life

Something You Should Know

44:15 min | 3 months ago

How to Change Your Personality & How to Manage The Faster Speed of Life

"Today on something you should know. Why do paper cuts hurt so much after all? It's just a piece of paper then I bet there is some part of your personality. You'd like to change, but most people believe it's hard to change my message. You're going to change either way, but you absolutely can change who you are. You can even change your view of your past. You don't have to view negative experiences from the past traumatic you can. Can actually choose to view your password positive light, plus when you can't remember where you put your keys, all explained the best way to find where you left them and managing your time in the fast pace of life, a lot of things can get in the way. There's one frequent email interruptions created drop an I q two and a half times greater than the drop, an Iq from smoking marijuana. You're better off long than an iphone. That's not exactly a tip, but you know what. I mean all this today on something you should know. Capital. One knows life doesn't always alert you about your credit cards. I'm not likely to stop an interview of this podcast to say hey, colleen, yeah, colleen, with a K., your free trial of movie plus ends tomorrow, and your card may be charged. You want to continue or cancel, so meet. iino the capital. One Assistant, no looks out for surprise charges like when free trials expire and helps you. If you need to fix them e-e-e-e-no another way capital one is watching out for your money when you're not capital one. What's in your wallet limitations apply? Something you should know fascinating Intel the world's top experts and practical advice. You can use in your life today something. You should now fit Mike carruthers! Hey Welcome to somethingyoushouldknow episode four hundred and thirty five. If you're keeping track. When you get a you know when you get a paper cut. Everyone's had a paper cut and you have to wonder how does. A simple piece of paper. Caused such excruciating pain well according to Dr, James, Spencer the reason is because most paper cuts happen on your fingertips, and your fingertips have more nerve endings than any other part of your body, so it comes down to location. If you get a paper, cut on, say your forearm. Is GonNa hurt very much. Paper cuts also don't heal as quickly and the reason for that is because since they're not very deep, you don't bleed very much from a paper cut and blood is full of wound healing chemicals that help heal it paper cuts. Don't get the benefit of that. Dr Spencer recommends using a liquid bandage to heal a paper cut, and if you don't have liquid. Crazy glue works just as good and that is something you should know. I imagine we all have parts of our personality. We'd like to change or that. We're not really happy with, but your personality is your personality right well maybe. But would you say you are the same person you were ten years ago? Probably not so your personality has changed, and it does change in an organic way, but when it comes to changing your personality in a deliberate way, that seems to be a challenge here to discuss what your personality is exactly and how it changes and how you can change it. Is Benjamin Hardy. He's an organizational psychologist contributor to INC and psychology today and he's author of a book. Called Personality is permanent. Benjamin! Thank you so much happened to be with you so before we get into why personality isn't permanent. Let let's define what a personality is. What what is my personality? Yeah, your personality is basically you're consistent way of showing up in the world. It's your consistent behaviors and attitudes. Personality and identity are two different things. Your identity is how you've self-described. Your identity is actually a lot more important than your personality, your identity being the way you define a describe yourself save yer, which in large portion over time becomes your personality so personality. You're consistent way of acting. And when you say personality isn't permanent, explain what you mean by that. Because I think there is a belief that you are who you are, you showed up this way. These are your traits. The this is what you do. This is who you are and. So. What do you mean it isn't permanent? Yeah. I mean it's not permanent from a lot of different angles one is there's a lot of what's called now. Longitudinal research basically did studies people over time in the idea. Is that over time you're going to change? Even, if you're not trying to people who are in their seventies or not, they don't have the same personalities as they did in their teens. It's just that's just true, but also your your view of yourself changes over time a lot as well. There's actually a tedtalk by Harvard psychologist by the name of Daniel, Gilbert and he often asks people. Do you think you're the exact same person you were ten years? Years ago in almost unanimously, people say no most people can see that there are changes between who they are today, and who were in the past in how they do things and how they see things in what matters to them, and so it's it's actually really important to view your current self as not the be all end all because you're not the same person you were in the past, but also. You're not going to be the same person in the future. But it does seem that some things are permanent. You know there are some people who are cautious. Some people who were risk-takers. Some people are Savor. Some people are spenders. Those things don't seem to change much. I think you're right I. think that they don't have to change. I think that they can change. I'm with you that the majority of people aren't GonNa make dramatic changes in themselves, but that's not to say that it can't happen. Someone who was a total spender could actually become educated and learn how to become great saver I. Can speak for myself on that one someone who's radically disorganized could learn how to become organized the rule. I guess you could say is that people aren't gonNA, make such big change. In fact, that's a rule in psychology as well. Is that the most easy way to predict a person's future behaviors by looking to their past? But that there's a lot of reasons for that, and it doesn't have to be that way well. It would seem that it doesn't have to be that way. If you believe it doesn't have to be that way, but a lot of people believe it's that way, so there isn't much point in trying. Yeah I mean that's what we call would call a fixed mindset, and there's a lot that comes with that. People often overly emphasize who they currently are, or they spend a lot of time looking to their past as the explanation for who they are. It takes a lot more first off imagination to think about who your future self would be who you want to be it would take a lot more courage rather than just defining your present self to say this is who I want to be that takes courage to actually tell people about who you WanNa. Be also from like. Let's just say in addiction standpoint. It takes courage to openly admit that you've you that you're doing things that you no longer want to be doing in the in the world. There's a quote that says you're sick as your secrets, and often it can be difficult to admit when you either have a problem or when you want to make a change, but. Being open and honest about that can really open the doors. You know when you talk about your future self. Who Do you WANNA BE? Usually that comes from a place of fixing something. That's wrong now that you want to be somebody who you're not now or who you haven't been in the past because there's something wrong with that, and now you want to fix that and be better right. It could be fixing something wrong. It doesn't have to be viewed that way though it could just be choosing something different I, mean I. I don't view the person I was three years ago as necessarily wrong, even though I don't want exactly the same things that I wanted three years ago. I'm choosing different goals. Maybe I even have different preferences. Having adopted various kids, and you know coming to a place where I'm choosing value different things I don't think I was formerly wrong. But I'm at, but I think I can now something better. and is it a constantly fluid situation in other words when you say well, let's talk about who I WANNA be. Well then do I. Get there and stop or am I always looking to be somebody different. have. You ever read the book man's search for meaning by Viktor Frankl, one of his observations was that when a person lost hope in purpose for their future, the present became meaningless. I think it absolutely wherever you are in the present, you actually need purpose for your future. Otherwise your present stops, having purpose and you either distract yourself from the president, or it just becomes too much I mean literally hope is a human need, as is purpose, and and so you you wherever you are and wherever you've arrived to. If you don't if you can't conceptualize a feed yourself, that gives your present meaning than you're gonNA. You're. GonNa be stuck, and what's interesting is even buzz Aldrin the famous astronaut This is what happened to him. You know he went to. The moon was wanted top. You know I people don't go to the moon with Neil Armstrong and he came back and he. He stopped having a sense of purpose for his life, he had achieved his his only goal or his primary goal, and so then he stopped having something to look forward to, and as a result we went through a deep bender, and became an alcoholic in lost at all, because he was so defined even by a former success. In, so you? You always need something to look forward to something to be striving towards. Separate though for me, who you are your personality and what you want. Seems like those are two different things, but in this conversation they seem to be one and the same. In your personality is how you consistently show up, but I show up differently depending on the circumstance depending I show up with my kids differently than when I show up at a business meeting. I have different personalities. Yeah it's very contextual I. mean there's a a good friend of mine. His name is Andrei Norman and he grew up in the hood of Boston. And you know, he was essentially a thug. He ended up going to prison, but He when he hit his dead bottom, where he realized that his goal was always to be the number one thug, he realized that it was not a worthwhile path, and so he decided to go to Harvard that was ended up happening to be the only school he'd ever heard of. But. It's yeah, that's how you can only choose goals by the way based on what you're exposed to. And that was as far as his exposure was when it came to college, but he questioned his goals because his drive. Your your goals drive your identity. In his case. His goal at the time was to be the number one thug in prison. When he was near completing that, it dawned on him that if he actually got there, what would that say about him? You know and so he then questioned his goal, and then he chose a different goal which then redirected his identity which shaped his behavior. He ultimately ended up spending eight years after he decided, he wanted to go to Harvard. Getting help. He ended up to read and write. He got a mentor he went to therapy, got got in tune with God from his perspective, and then got out of prison, because he chose a new aim which shaped his identity and behavior, and over time changed his personality. The idea that personality isn't permanent. The title implies that the people think it is permanent that correct. Absolutely yet. That's a very traditional view so your messages that you can change who you are. If you want to change who you are. My messages. You'RE GONNA change either way, but you absolutely can change who you are. Absolutely you can even change your view of your past. You can change in. You can give different meanings to former experiences. You don't have to view negative experiences from the past traumatic. You can actually choose to view your password positive light so not only. Is Your personality flexible. Your past is flexible. That's how memory works and so. Yeah, none of in even as you described. You're not going to be the same person in every situation that you're in so. Your personality is different. In its contextual, so yeah, yeah, that's definitely what I'm trying to say. And, there's a lot of good research obviously behind that, but I think there are traditional common views that you are hardwired at birth, or the or that you must discover your true self, and that your personality is only to be understood in your past. In those things aren't actually, they don't have to be true. We're talking about your personality and we're talking with Benjamin Hearty, he's an organizational psychologist and author of the book. Personality isn't permanent. I am happy to tell you that. Stroke of genius is back for season. Three the IPO Education Foundation podcast is a show about intellectual property. Yeah, but it's as far from a patent contract or a law textbook as you can get, it's really interesting. 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You can count on Napa know how. So Benjamin you, said something a couple of minutes ago about how you can only choose based on what you've been exposed to. which if you aren't exposed too much, I mean it seems like that's a limited. Hand that you're playing with. Hugely I mean I can speak with authority on that you know. My wife and I adopted three kids from the foster system. The environment they came from was radically limited. You know their parents were high on drugs. They weren't taken to school. They were in front of a TV all day. They were eating, very. You know when we got them. They had never left their county out in the middle of nowhere South Carolina. And so how could they you know like? How could our son WHO's now? Completely interested in aerospace have chosen that if he didn't even know it existed. And so part of obviously. Growing and better decisions is becoming exposed to different options. You know that's why traveling reading. Learning is helpful trying new things now what the research shows is that usually as people they become progressively less open to new experiences less open to information that contradicts their current worldview We prefer certain surtee instability over time rather than uncertainty and change and difficulty in learning and so. Yeah. I mean they. It is definitely an invitation to try new things. That's why kids learn so fast. You know we have two twins who are eighteen months old? We live in Florida, so we don't want to beautiful girls to drown in our swimming pool or someone else's pool, so we've put them through swimming lessons. Obviously in the beginning of the swimming lessons they hated it. You know being dropped underwater and not knowing what to do, and being scared and figuring out how to swim, but now three or four months later they jump in the pool and you know that type of learning experience. Often people stop putting themselves through such experiences out of choice. When you're a kid, you often have to do so out of necessity. That, that's an interesting way of looking at it that yeah, once you become a grownup, and no one makes you jump in the pool anymore. You're less likely to jump in the pool whether it's a real pool or something else. The brain's wired my friend. The brain is literally a prediction machine, we four memories, and things like that to create stability in our lives, and how I view, it is personality and comfort zone are basically the same thing you know it's what's safe. It's comfortable. It's predictable. You try something new. You're now in a state of uncertainty. Even people who are addicts stay in addictions, even though even when they know the addictions probably killing them because to leave, the addiction would create more uncertainty than to stay. In so. You know, but that's actually where learning is you know from a neuroscience perspective? There's a concept called prediction errors, which is when you incorrectly predicted. What would happen and that's where you learn you know when a child touches a hot stove. They didn't expect that to happen. Definitely didn't enjoy it, but they certainly learned something that changes how they interact with the world, and that's where learning happens, but as you know William James, he's one of the. Basically one of the like he's considered like what's called the Godfather I think of American psychology was back in like the early nineteen hundreds, but he believes that people's personality. STOP DEVELOPING AT AGE thirty. Because at that point, people's lives become so routine. You know they've got their career their job. They've got their narrative about themselves. Their story that they keep saying they stop. Developing really not because they don't have to, not because they can't, but because generally that's society stunts them from growing. Do. You think if you ask people generally. The person you are now is the person you will always be that most people would say yes, no or Gee. I never really thought about it. This is what they would say. According to the research, the questions a little different so I might want to go back and forth with you on this. I like your question. Let me share with you this thought and then we'll, we'll keep going back and forth on this because I really liked questions, but basically Dan. Gilbert, the Harvard psychologist, asks people slightly different questions, but very similar. He asks people. Are you the same person you were ten years ago? Almost, everyone says now. But here's the RUB. says. Do you think you're going to be the same person in years? In most people say yes. So most people acknowledged that they've changed to some degree, or at least from their perception. They've changed in many ways from who they are in the past. The problem is is that we often think that who we are right now is who were always going to be. We overemphasize the present. He calls at the end of his history allusion. It's just the tendency. We have to think that who we are right now is who were always going to be. We don't they get to. We've always been, but we think we are right now. Who are always going to be so? He has a statement for that. He says human beings are works in progress. That mistakenly think they're finished and I think a lot of that has to do with identity that were so definitive with labels we use for ourselves, which then leads us to think that who we are right now is who we're going to be in the future, and we don't project out who we think we're going to be. But to project out who you might be in ten years seems a stab in the dark. It's if I'm going to be a different person that I am now in ten years. It's hard for me now to imagine what those differences will be. There's a lot of research on two subjects. In particular One is decision making the other one's learning, but. Hal Hirschfeld. He's a psychologist at UCLA. He says that When you view your future self as a different person, you can then think about how they would handle situations, versus how you would handle situations. You know on a very simple level I go home from work. I'm exhausted. My Kids WanNA play and I'm tired. my current preference. Sit On my phone and say no thanks. Kids like you guys played without me, but if I think what my future self performing me to do then I could make a different decision in the moment. Learning the same way, you can't actually curate learning. You know you've someone who's done thousands upon thousands of interviews. At some point you decide, you want to be a great interviewer and you've got. You know you correct me if I'm wrong, but. These these thousands of interviews you've done have led you to becoming a great interviewer, but at some point or another. You did want to do that and so this learning that you've gone through to allow you to do was driven by a goal, and that's why I believe you've gotten good at. It is because it was targeted in a direction. so I think it's the first step is just literally thinking about where you WanNa. Go what what would you? What would you like your life to be like in relationship in circumstance in situation, you can think about three years into the future. Obviously having a few yourself even beyond this life from a spiritual perspective. Guides People's decisions here now, so we use the future to shape our behavior, but on a really practical level thinking three to let's just say two to three years in the future. What would you like your life to be? Look like? What would you like to be doing? How would you like your relationships to be? What would you like your daily life to be like taking? Taking the time to imagine it, you know Albert Einstein said imagination more important than knowledge. Imagination actually is the basis of hope you wouldn't hope for something. You can't imagine it, and so imagination is incredibly important. It does get shattered through traumatic experiences, and so it's it's called mental flexibility in a lot of ways you gotta get. It's a skill to develop, but I think journaling. About, it is a good place to start writing about. What you would want pondering on reflecting on it, maybe talking to people about it maybe if you have zero clue what you would want, which I don't think. I think anyone listening this could. It could conceptualize aspects of their life that they would like to see different. They're more happy that they're spending their time in ways. They want to more, but you actually have to define it before you can predict it. and then once you've actually laid out and it's not like it's a one time process you know like. It's a draft drafting a book. It's going to be different as you keep exposing yourself to new things as you go through experiences, as you may have highs and lows as you fail, you're. You'll be able to clarify and better directed, but at least give yourself a direction so that then on a daily basis you can do something in the form of intention towards that. The next step would be honestly just admitting people that that's what you want. Openly acknowledging that there's aspects of your life. You want to see different, or there's something specific you accomplish as for myself when I was a first year graduate student I started time. People I WANNA become professional author. We have a desire as people to be consistent with what we say, and your identity is based on the narrative you tell into rather than telling people over and over about who you are today. Maybe start telling people about who you want your future self to be, and that would lead you to more curated experiences to maybe. Moving in that direction, another obviously big one would be investing money into your future identity investing into your goals whether it be education or experiences were mentoring or learning. Actually investing in that leads to commitment, and it also solidifies your identity that this is something that you're serious about doing. It's really interesting what you said a moment ago. How people behave in their life often based on what they think. Judgment Day will say about them when they die, or you know in the next life very true here yet. Why wait 'til wait till then why not just project out three years and and think about that rather than when you're dead, because we don't know what happens when you're dead, I love. Dang, that's a huge compliment. You can think Hal Hirschfeld at UCLA and Daniel go to Harvard for that one. I like that I never thought of that of and how many people? Either it's because of their religion or Their church teachings of you know you have to leave a a decent life here in order for things to be better in the next life well, not just your future life, not necessarily the next one. It just the future one of this one. I love that it's great. Way In your future south in my opinion is actually way more important than your current self is weird as that sounds because your current self isn't the be all end all you're not human. Beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they're finished so carol duet. She's among the best psychologists who's ever lived. You know hurt. Thinking is influenced more people than. Most people but she's the one who did the growth mindset fixed mindset thing, but she would give students Most of her research was on kids, and she would give them situations that they would all fail. Foreign away like they. Every student would fail and she was just interested in how they would react. And the kid, the kids with the fixed mindset, the kids that viewed themselves as fixed unchangeable when they failed the meaning that they gave to the experience was. I'M DUMB I? Can't get better. This is the end of this for me, And, so they were fully defined by the present, what she actually said is that they were stuck in the tyranny of now. Tyranny of right now, whereas those with the growth mindset, they would fail. Of course they all failed, but the meaning that they gave to the experience was I can get smarter and I'm not there yet. And they were projecting out to their future. They saw themselves on a growth curve, and so what she said is that they got to luxury eight. In the power of yet. It's interesting that we don't think of personality changing much in others when I think of people I know. I don't see them as different people than they were five years ago and yet clearly. Personality is changing. Their personality is changing. My personality is changing, and and your personality is changing and and and I guess how it changes is up to us. Benjamin has been my guest. He's an organizational psychologist, a contributor to ink and psychology today, and he's author of the book personality is in permanent. You'll find a link to his book in the show notes. Thanks for being here Benjamin a my category day. At. macy's safety is our top priority, so we're taking extra precautions for your protection in our stores. Everyone is encouraged to practice social distancing. All colleagues are wearing masks. Hand sanitizer is available for everyone, and we've increased cleaning in high traffic areas plus contact. Free curbside pickup is available at select locations, so you can order online and get most in stock items quickly and easily now at macy's find a store near you at macys dot. com slash stores. Every home has things in needs things that need to be maintained fixed or replaced. The Home Depot is here to help you get it done? You can easily find what you need on our APP ordered on live with the push of a button and have it brought to your door with free delivery on over a million items. We have the essentials union the online know how you may need to do it yourself and low prices and make it all possible the home depot doers get more done. I think most people agree that life is more hectic and sped up and it used to be. With technology, it seems we can do things a lot faster and consequently, the speed of life just seems faster. And while you may not like it, while you may long for a slower pace. That's not always possible. You pretty much have to cope with life the way it is. Vince. Is the author of a classic New York Times bestselling book called the age of speed, and he's really zeroed in on this in his message is rather than fight it. You should embrace in harness this speed of life and use it to your advantage I vince. So there's this philosophy that slow and steady wins. The race that too much speed leads to mistakes that the better way is to take things slow and deliberate. That speed is in fact the enemy to which you would say what? Speed can feel like the enemy and you know. I raced in the Olympics in speed, skiing, and one one hundred and thirty five miles an hour, and you don't win a race. If you're in the state of fear you don't win a race if you're trying to cope or manage the situation. Youth Thrive when you're on top of the situation when you can actually embrace it, and so instead of speed being the enemy. How can we have things faster? How can we? Go anything from automate to make sure we really have a a lifestyle of being able to feel like we're in control and not in chaos. But it does seem to me anyway. Just looking at the people I know that I know very successful people who seem to be very slow and methodical, and nothing rattles them, and they go at their own pace, and they do just fine, and I know other people who can't sit still. They've just got to go. Go Go, and they do pretty well, too. So so isn't it more of kind of what what your? What your personality is. Well. That's the alignment pre, so if I'm very slow and steady wins, the race kind of person and I'm just going to methodically go through then great, but when we start to resist the speed that's going on around us and say well. That's not gonNa work for me or I'm not going to engage in learning how that technology works. Maybe somebody that's very slow and steady delegates the stuff. is going faster and faster. The people that that that dig that kind of thing and so you know it's it's this accountability to step up. and. If the world's going so much faster yet. We're trying to resist along the way you're not a jet. You know one of the the. The profiles in the book. Is the bottle rocket you know I'm from Canada I didn't know what a bottle rocket was until I moved down to Texas and I realized that you light this thing and you first densify everybody in the surrounding. Hey, I'm going to light this thing I. Don't know where it's going to go. And then you light, it goes coach all over the place and people are ducking or whatever, and then what is it? Do it blows up, so that's somebody that's saying I. I'm just GonNa fast well. You know a case in point would have been Dell Dell. Computers was celebrated for how fast they address. The supply chain management got after things, and they took people on Tours, and how fast they did things, but they were really not I'm not identifying with their customer and got stepped on and stepped over by Apple. Because you know, there was the we could go down that rabbit hole, but definitely apple stepped over del, because it wasn't just about. Speed is about that alignment issue? What do people want to want? How do they WANNA feel so? It's not just about speed something. I remember from previous conversation we had. Was the example used in explaining all of this about learning to ride a bike that you can't ride a bike. You can't learn to ride a bike if you don't have speed you. You WanNA balance, but you can balance it without the speed, so talk about that. Well I was teaching. My best is to kind of give you a story in our daughter, our middle daughter, Alex she would be kind of a a bottle rocket of start. She just wanted to go get after it and do it and she got on the bike and was nervous, because it just wasn't staying upright, and kept falling over and Alex you gotTa. You got to speed up you got to. To get some momentum and she her. Our instinct is not the pedal. Our instinct is to get balanced, first and then pedal. That's the human condition. Okay, let me get balanced. Let me get my awareness where I am and then I'm going to start picking up speed while on a bicycle. You gotTa pick up speed. They get the balance and the second. She got that she was ready to quit. And skinnier knees. I don't want to do this about four years old or so five maybe. A sushi picked up speed. The smile came back on face 'cause she got the balance she was looking for, and she turned Daddy Daddy look I got it and Bam reach went right back in the back of the auto. So we. Yeah. Well you know in the age of speed. Yes, we have to pick up speed, but we have to have such awareness of everything around us, and but we can have that balance at speed so much of the talk about everything. speeding-up revolves around technology as if we have no choice that that we just have to have all this technology, and we must have it on all the time, and then we can complain about how we're always on call twenty four set well. Not If you turn it off. Yeah we we have to be so much more deliberate today than we've ever been and I I meditate twice a day and I I started when I was fourteen and I stopped there for awhile and I found that when I take a step back when I turn my phone up when they turn the technology off by my design, and then step back in when I want to things, start to settle into place and start to feel like I have some some of that equanimity back and If we're always on the go and always busy and always complaining about being busy. You're not the architect of your time. You're basically being pushed around by technology. And this isn't easy I mean I was in. I was at a gross. This is years ago when the came out. And! I was visiting the grocery store. And I was standing in line with a bunch of people, and what was new off to the side, there was a self checkout, and nobody was in the self checkout line. Why because they didn't understand the technology and I just re written a fricking book on it. And so I went over I went to I was out of there I went. Wow, and now I had ten extra minutes that I didn't have before and what did I do do I. Do you fill that extra time with more busy work or spent that extra time and Our youngest wanted to keep saying Daddy. We take the dog to the dog park and I thought you know what he by my design. We went to the Dr Dog Park. We took a minute those ten extra minutes that I had and then we did that and so. That's more life balance. That's the balance that we seek by our design, rather than being pushed around by like I, said technology well I've always wondered why. There's this such an emphasis on efficient. We gotta get more done. We've got gotta get more done in less time. For the purpose of what to get more done in less time, and then to take that time you saved and get more done i. mean it does what you just said about going to the dog park. Nobody does that. They just figure out now. I can do more work in that time that I saved which kind of defeats the. Purpose of it. It does I mean I if I'm not much of a math guy in so it took me a while to figure this out that the fact that if we can get more done, so let's say we could get Two things done in an hour. And now with technology. we get ten things done in an hour, but with everything that we need to get done. Let's say there's two more things that. Make more complex if I got two things done an hour before things added to it. That would kinda complicated. Will now if I'm getting ten things done in our. That's forty things that complicated so that's the mathematics of chaos. We end up creating more chaos for sells. It feels good to get more stuff done. Don't we all like that feeling, but when you've added on, you know. Thirty six other things that make it more complex and more complicated. That's the feeling of cast. That's the feeling of being out of control. and. You know if you've ever skied like I have one hundred and thirty five miles an hour. You WanNa cover the basics you wanNA keep it as simple as possible, and so that you get through this race, and you thrive in the State of excellence, rather than even more chaos that you've impacted which leads to. Your in damage control, and then you're out of control, and then it doesn't feel good at all. So! Yeah, we have. We have to be more than ever. We have to be the architect of our own time and be able to how we use our time and be so deliberate and you just just a few simple deliberate decisions of front like I said, keep the cell phone in a different room. Set aside, switch it off, I mean. In some people say well, you know my my boss is expecting to hear me well. Now, we're into the conversation mode or the boundaries and they. This is a boundary after eight PM at night I'm you know I switched my phone off? You know if that's a boundary and everybody understands then we're we're good. If we feel at somebody, else's pushing around our time. Again, we're back into utter control and that's That's a horrible feeling. Yeah it one of the things that that. I think people are afraid of. Their cell phone as you do or turning off their computer as you talk about to meditate, or whatever is that fear that someone's going to try to get them, and then everybody has those people in their life. I tried to text you five minutes ago and I haven't heard back. Well Then, you feel compelled to always be available and I. Agree with you that I don't want people to think that I'm that available and and yeah. Maybe there's a learning a time to people have to learn. Like you after eight, o'clock chances are I'm not going to get Vince and so you learn to live with that. You know if you really talked to anybody that's having issues at work or issues in an at home in their primary relationships, or whatever the first question you need ask is. Are you communicating? Have you communicating communicated boundary. Is this something that you've said or are you just getting increasingly frustrated because? Not only is that one person trying to get a hold of you, but maybe ten or twenty or More and then all of a sudden your life's out of control and you're feeling the chaos and I want to get off. And then that's frustration, and that's not what life's about life's about doing what you love to do with the people you love and and if that's not the case and How deliberate are you going to be about that? It's interesting, too. That sometimes I think people you know how you doing harm. Really busy that it's almost like a badge of honor that like they could really they could turn it all down, but but then they're not as cool as as they. We used to be when they didn't turn it all down. Yeah, it's almost comical. You'LL SIP you. Hire you I'm busy. I'm even busier. It's a competition. It's like I don't think that's the point, but anyways it will. Be the WHO you're talking to the person have that year thing in their ear for their phone and are you talk to me? Are you listening to like? How busy can you possibly be? I know or sitting on a plane when somebody five rows back. Make sure everybody's hearing. This conversation sale for the love of God Charlotte Up. Yeah Well. It's a good lesson I think it's. It's good that people stop and think about it because. It isn't necessarily about slowing down it's. because. You know we're all on the TREADMILL. It's going as fast as it's going. It's dealing with the speed that it's going rather than trying to jump off right learning how to drive in the ages. Speed is the essence of. The human condition today. You know it's a We cannot expect to manage our way to excellence. You just don't manage a situation as expect extrordinary results. So how do we thrive in this rather than just cope and and there's all sorts of ways just start with one thing email for example. You know if you're looking at emails and you're reading two three four times. Are you the architect your time? Are you being deliberate or are you? You know just keeping up and that would be just one thing you know multitasking. There's another one. There's one interruptions frequent email interruptions create a drop in I q two and a half times greater than the drop an Iq from smoking marijuana. I mean you're better off buying a bong an iphone. and. Well, that's not exactly a tip, but you know what I mean. We could really overwhelm ourselves. If we don't manage, let's say interruptions for example will. Why is that interruption happening? What can I do next time to mitigate that and and be more deliberate, yeah? Well as we said at the beginning, things aren't going to slow down anytime soon. So learning to live with and take advantage of the faster speed of life seems like great advice. Vince percent has been my guest. He is author of the New York Times Bestseller, the age of speed and you will find a link to that book in the show notes. Thank you, Vince, Hey, good spending time with you. Have you ever misplaced your keys or your wallet and have no idea where they are. Of course you have everyone has the average person spends at least ten minutes a day looking for things they've misplaced and keys and wallets are at the top of the list. After those items, most of us waste time looking for our car, our shoes, our phone glasses or the remote control. The reason we misplace stuff is usually because we're focused on the next task at hand the reason we can't find them later as because we've changed our state of mind for instance you might be hungry and headed for the kitchen when you put your keys or remote control down. Then when you're no longer hungry and you start to look for your keys. You've lost the Medal Association. That's why retracing your steps and your feelings can take you back physically and mentally and help you find them, and that is something you should know. We have an insatiable appetite for reviews and ratings on Apple podcasts. and. And so please. Please, help us feed our insatiable appetite and leave one. I'm Mike carruthers. Thanks listening today to something you should know.

Benjamin Vince percent Harvard marijuana Apple WanNa Mike carruthers William James Harvard Hal Hirschfeld Gilbert Benjamin Hardy Dr Spencer Daniel Intel colleen Napa macy Viktor Frankl
How to Get People To Tell the Truth & What Its Like to Be a Bird

Something You Should Know

47:28 min | 2 months ago

How to Get People To Tell the Truth & What Its Like to Be a Bird

"Today on something you should know. Where do you hold your hands on the steering wheel? Tell you why it matters. Then meet a guy who has a technique that will get you to tell him almost any truth I mean. You'd like to think you wouldn't tell them your social security number right? Yeah, you'd like to think that, but it's GonNa Happen. I told the student out. Get your social security number says tell you when I would never give up anybody over the. The course of that class session I was able to slowly illicit his social security number. Then when you go on a job interview, there are some words you should probably never say, and you see a lot of them every day. They're fascinating. They're birds. All birds are dinosaurs, which is always a surprise to people, but all birds descend from a line of dinosaurs that somehow made it through whatever cataclysmic that killed off their cousins all this today. Something you should know. Something you. Fascinating Intel the world's top. And practical advice, you can use in your life today. Something you should now with Mike carruthers? Fight and welcome to something you should know. We just recently in a previous episode talked about why we drive, but it's also interesting how we drive when you drive question for you. Where are your hands on the steering wheel? New Hampshire based team O'Neil Rally School, which teaches race car drivers how to drive and stay safe has some suggestions. First of both hands need to be on the wheel when you're driving one handed, driving only works if there is no sudden emergency when there is one one handed driving isn't going to be enough. Also forget putting your hands at ten and two o'clock, despite what your driver's Ed teacher told you it makes turning much more difficult. Having your hands at nine and three o'clock is much safer. They also compared making a turn using steering wheel shuffling. ARE OVER! Control Shuffling where you feed the steering wheel from one hand into the other is safer in cars with air bags, but significantly slower. Arm overarm is quicker, but can position your hands and arms between your head in the AIRBAG, which can have serious consequences during a collision. And that is something you should know. On earlier episodes of something you should know. We've discussed how to tell if somebody is lying to you or if they're telling the truth, what are the signs to look for? Today we are going to explore how to get someone to tell you the truth even if they don't want to. Jack Shafer is a former FBI agent who has interrogated some pretty unsavory. Over the years and got them to tell him things. They didn't mean to not by threatening them or torturing them. No this is a different more subtle technique that you can use as well. Jack is the author of the book. The truth detector and ex FBI. Agents Guide for getting people to reveal the truth. I Jack Welcome. Nice to be with you so I give me a little history a little background here about this technique about you where it all comes from, so get get us all up to speed well. I spent twenty years in the FBI and the last seven years. I spent as a behavioral analyst. And I work for the FBI. National Security Division which we primarily investigated. Spies counterintelligence and terrorism, and during the course of my. Tenure at the FBI indication to talk to a lot of spies and terrorists, and those people are real reluctant to give out a lot of information when you ask them questions. So, we developed an enhanced a technique called. Elissa tation. That is you WANNA, get people to tell the truth. And they don't realize they're telling the truth. When they're telling you. What happened is I ended up getting a lot of information from people in espionage, spies and terrorists, just by having general conversations with them, and then I started looking into the psychological principles that cause people to want to tell the truth and them now realize that they're giving up sensitive information. And I thought to myself, you know these are great techniques that we can use in normal life outside of the job as a spycatcher. In negotiations in when you're buying a car when you're buying a house when you talk to your kids, you're talking to a person of interest and you want to get information from them, but you don't want to put them on guard or make it seem as though you're nosy. So, give me an example of how you would use this technique. Say Not in talking to a terrorist, but in real life well. When it stints, my wife and I were looking at houses, and we went into the basement of one home, and it was completely redone. And I couldn't see the telltale flooding line that if there is a flooding the basement, you see telltale line around the the walls. I couldn't see it because they redid the basement. And I just casually mentioned to the guy. I said Geez. They did a nice job. Fixing it up after the flood. And he just casually said yeah, they did a really good job, and I thought to myself just told me the house floods fouls to ask him. If it flooded directly, he would have. Been Very reluctant to let me know that it flooded, so explain the steps in this technique that you use. How does it work? What are the? What are the inner workings of it? There's basically. Several steps. The first thing you want to do is get the person comfortable bill report the person it takes several minutes to build rapport, and then you want. To use one of the illicit. And they're based on. Cycle human psychological principles one being. The need to correct others. People have a tremendous need to correct others in other words. If I were to tell you something false, you'd have this real. Want to tell me the truth or correct to me and I do this in teach western Illinois University and I do this with my students a lot when I'm demonstrating these techniques and my behavioral analysis class, I teach the the the need to correct others as powerful, and they don't believe me and then a student. I'll ask the student a question and I'll say. Say That's tremendous info insight for a sophomore and typically this one particular girl looked at me and said I know what you're up to I'm not a sophomore and know what you're up to and I. Don't want to tell you and I said well. That's fine. And then I waited a couple of seconds, and she finally blurted out. Look I'm a senior and I just felt this overwhelming need to tell you that because I wanted to correct you. It's that kind of psychological principles that are the basis of illicit. And if you trying to get somebody to to tell you something that you think they're keeping from you, how would you use that? I get the sophomore senior thing. But how would you use that? As an example to to pull somebody out and get them to say what they what you want them to say? Well, there's another illustration technique called the internal external foci, and if I ask a person direct question, say as your question. What do you think about cheating? Most, people will go to the external social norms and say well. Obviously cheating is bad, I would never cheat on you. But. If you ask that person about a third person a third party say Oh, you know. My friend was married and her husband cheated on her. What's your take on then? The net person then tends to go from the inside and say what they really mean so what you can do with with I. Did this with my kids? I wanted to know if they were on. They were smoking marijuana. And I asked him directly to smoke marijuana, and he said of course not dead I. Don't do that well. That's obvious answer. That's social norm. And then I asked him. A couple of days later. I asked him I said you know a friend of mine has a has a son about your age, and he got caught smoking marijuana in high school. and. My son said while he shouldn't have brought it to school solely marijuana debt. Answers like that that means is coming from his heart the answer so when you ask about a third person, they talk about a in the heart, and when you ask a direct question, they go to social norms and provide the answer what you were talking about a moment ago. That need to correct that as I think about it that is, that's really a thing because I mean just in it thinking about it in my life I mean there I see when people need to correct me if I make a mistake or say something wrong and I've also corrected people who have made statements that are incorrect, and I'm not sure what that. Why I do that or where that need comes from, but. It's amazing, the need to correct powerful and. The way you can tap into that is to use a presumptive in other words, you make a true statement or a false statement. And people will have a tendency to correct you if you casually just throw out a state mature false. People are going to you and then add information so my co author Marvin wanted to. Find out if one of his colleagues received a raise incentive raise for teaching, and if he was to ask, did you receive a raise? She'll say of course not. That's confidential, but he said congratulations on your raise. He didn't know that she got an incentive razor. Not He just said. Congratulations on your incentive race. She's. Got One the other day Oh, and then he said you to know how much at all it must have been like four or five thousand dollars. And she says more like six. And so she's correcting this, and then for him to get out of the you know the conversation he should. Well. You deserve it and he got her to reveal that information it's it seems a little manipulative, doesn't it? And maybe you know when you're trying to get information from a criminal? That's fine, but. But it really was none of his business whether she got a raise or not. No, but we do want to know things, don't we? Dr She's it all the time. If a doctor, ask the person. Do. You take your medication every day. What's the the patient likely to say of course I? Do Doc take it religiously? And the doctor needs to know if they're taking their medication because he can't do a procedure unless he knows that person's been on medication for so many weeks, so a better way to do that is to sake. It's hard for people to take their medication regularly. I know it's normal for people to miss it. And then the patient is kind kinda hard or notice, and I'd take it every day, so you can either confirm that they take it or you can find out that they don't take their medication regularly, and you're not asking him that direct question that put him on the defensive, and these are just basic human tendencies that we're tapping into. So I mean you say? Is it manipulative I say anything's manipulative. Often asset when I give lectures, and I was asked to the person either male or female said if you ever been out on a first date. Yeah, well sir. Do you make strange bodily noises on your first date? Well. No I don't. Ma'am do you put on a little extra makeup and make sure that you're you're on your best behavior and you look at the best. You can't wait. Yes, I do of course I do. Not, say well. Isn't that manipulation? Absolutely that's manipulation. But you're not. You're not trying to manipulate somebody. You're trying to put your best foot forward and what you're trying to do with illustration techniques. Is You WANNA? Make sure that you have all the information that you need to make a knowledgeable decision. If you do it properly, the person will not know that you're using a list techniques on them. They won't know they don't realize it. It would seem though that and especially after listening to you or reading your book that that if you know this goes on. You can defend yourself. You can be on guard against your Elissa tation technique, so they won't work on me. It is hard to believe but I can walk into a mall and I could teach my students in a four hour block of instruction. About elucidation than I we leave the classroom. We go to the mall and within three to five minutes of meeting a stranger, they can get their social security number computer passwords bank accounts information password for their computer, their work, computer home, computer, everything and the good thing about this. If we teach people how people get information like that from others, then at least they'll be able to recognize. Hey, things wrong I recognized this technique. Is Somebody trying to take and get information from me, and that puts the end to it that inoculate you from being taken advantage of. We're discussing how to get the truth from people even if they don't think they tell you, my guess is Jack Shafer. He's a former. FBI agent and the name of his book is the truth detector and ex. FBI agents guide for getting people to reveal the truth. So Jack. I would like to think that you would have a hard time getting me to. Give up my social security number. Yeah. You'd like to think that, but it's going to happen. I doubt it. I told. I told the student. In Class I said I can get you know he had this. He was skeptical like you were and I. said I'll get your social security number says no, you wouldn't I would never give up to anybody. Over the course of the last session I was able to slowly illicit his social security number and right before we left for the exercise in the mall. I wrote a social security number up on the board. And he says will you cheated I, said well in espionage. There's just as part of the game. How'd you do and I was? Well I first thing I told them. You realize that there's your last four digits. Social Security number are duplicates one out of ten thousand people have the same last four social. Security numbers you do so those last four. Really don't mean much, and so then I told him you you're. You're not going to be too reluctant to give those up because there's you know five more left. And he readily gave me the last four of social security number, and then we started talking about the first. The mental to which all they do was state where you. Got Your social security number from it's a US beholding place. They're not. They don't mean that much. And the first three and I told him well. The the mental. Don't mean much so I went around to the room, so you give up your middle to right and. The student said yes I would give it. Yes, I would gave point to another word and I got into a rhythm, and then I pointed to him, and he just blurted out his middle to. And then during the break I, asked him where he where he lived where he grew up. In. St told me the town I grew up in the state I went to the social security. Found what numbers issued in that state, and then I got a social security number. And My students for very reluctant. You know in the class at Western. I was telling him the story about this. And to the students were the following class I had which was behavioral analysis and they said we want. We want you to show us how you get. Some social security number is okay you you pick the person you want me to get their social security number, so they named a student. We got into class I went through the same routine. He gave up a social security number and the students were breaking out laughing. They couldn't believe it and they'll. One student looked at them and said. What are you laughing at you? You just gave them your social security number. He Says No I. Didn't I never give that up, Casey? Yes, you did. Wow because elicited. Is. It's painless. and. It's also I imagine in the way you ask it to I. Mean Listening to you talk. You sound like an easy going guy. You're not demanding information you. You're just chatting and it's easy for people to let their guard down. When you talk like the way you talk. Yes, it is, and what I'm doing is taking the techniques that I use to get spies to confess. To get terrorists to confess to tell me who they're who they're working with How many more bombmakers are out there where you get this from? Intel. I want you to work with me against your country. We call that a double agent. So what you want to do is use these techniques to get the information. You need so that you can do your job. And likewise in personal life you want the information you need, so you won't get taken advantage of when you buy something you won't get advantage of when a con man calls you on the phone or talks you in public, and now you're aware of these techniques and go like I recognized technique danger danger. I I'm not going to go there. I'm not going to give any information away. If you would give me another example or circumstance where you could use this technique. Okay, we were sitting were again. We're on our house on trip. The House that we were looking at was right across the street from McDonald's. And I thought to myself. Boy We by this house. What kind of problems are we going to have at McDonald's? Out and and and traffic in there screaming tires in and out at night. and. I S real estate late, so I said if we ask her. Is there a problem with the noise? She's going to say of course not. There's no problem here what I decided to use solicitation so I, said Geez. I Bet I bet. Those kids get pretty wild on a weekend and keep the neighbors up all night and you know. She told me she says you know I. Really Don't know, but here's what I would recommend you. Come here on the weekend. You sit here. You check it out and if it's if it's noisy, we'll look for another house, so we did. We sat there on the weekend. It was noisy and look for another house. But what will we able to determine number one that the lady was honest? She told us the truth before she had a chance to lie. And that's kind of the theme is we want people to tell us the truth before they have a chance to lie? because. When once people start to lie then is it harder to get them to tell the truth? Oh yeah, because there's something called the psychological principle of consistency once we say something out loud, we articulated. We have a tendency to stick with what we said. Even if we know what's wrong, we have a tendency to stick with what we said because if we admit were wrong, then that opens us up to anxiety and cognitive dissonance, which then causes us to try to resolve that issue, so it's a lot easier. To get that information before somebody articulation ally, so I know there are other techniques in this solicitation process that you talk about so so give me another one I'll give you one example where things didn't go as well as I thought they should. I was in the mall in student was having trouble getting. An Age date of birth from a person in the store. And, so I told them go in and use bracketing and other words say. You, look you know between twenty five thirty years old, three thirty five years old. I don't know how to do it. Can you show me silent in? And I told the Lady I said. Wow, you look to be about my age. What forty five or fifty? She says no I'm thirty five. And I went oh okay. And I had to walk out of the store because it kind of soured our whole relationship. But we did get to the truth, didn't we yeah I? Guess you did, but you are going to get much further with her where you? Know no because the report was ruined. You know you could quickly build rapport with people by using three simple techniques. One of them is an eyebrow flash, and that lasts about one sixty fourth of a second. It's a long distance signal that says I'm not a threat so when we pass one another we eyebrow flash one another between five to six feet of approaching, and if we eyebrow flash person, the other person eyebrow flashes us, and that's signals. That were not a threat. The second thing is a head tilt. You WanNa. Tilt your head to the writer to the left in that you. Do that you exposure crowded artery, which is very sensitive. Partier, your anatomy, so by doing so you're saying that I trust. You will not attack my my carotid artery. And if you have dogs, dogs do that when you open the door and they sit there and they tilt their head. They're doing saying you know I'm not a threat. The. Other one is a smile if you smile. People have a tendency to like you. Because when you do smile, you release endorphins and endorphins make you feel good. So if you smile at somebody, they make they make you. You! Make them feel good about themselves, so they have a tendency to like you. So those three nonverbal things you can do to. Enhance their report building process at the beginning of your encounter with people. It is interesting really how predictable we are, how we easily fall victim to these techniques may well. Maybe victim is the right word, but but how we're easily maneuvered by these techniques to to give up information. Yeah, and you know another thing you know I've read I read. On the Internet and then you quote some facts. You say I read it in the newspaper. Read an article. I read it on the Internet people have tendency to believe that, so if I'm talking to a salesperson and I WANNA know if they're. Their. Problems with the assembly line is going to affect their their distribution. Will I get my product on time? So all I do is to go up to the salesman during the course of the sales pitch and say Jeez I read. I read somewhere on the Internet, that you guys are having problems with. Your assembly line, and you're. You're running late on your deliveries, and then the personal comeback either say yes. We are m problems, but deliveries aren't aren't affected or or yes. We're having a few problems. But. We'll get over it. The quickest way to defend yourself against. That is say. Where did you read it? Bring me the article. Let me see it. then. I'll comment so you see how you can use this to defend yourself as well as to get the truth. I think both both of those are extremely valuable skills. When you think about these techniques, I mean they're very. UNOBTRUSIVE in the sense that you're not yelling at people. You're not demanding the truth you're not. It's very easy. It's very under the radar. Demonstrate this in my classroom in all. Teach a bunch a guy. Soon so I want to be police officers, and they'll say well. Do like on TV and yell at him and threatened them and fess Sinatra's work there. I saw walk up to him. I Walk Right in front of deaths and I started yelling at them. Say you don't belong in his class. You don't deserve it. You slip through the cracks. You make a lousy cop. So they get really angry with me. Then by ten minutes later I said Hey, can you? Can you answer this question for me and they look at me like I'm not answering anymore questions for you. What do you think I? Am I saw? Let's stop for teaching moment here. You start talking on your suspects like that. What's going to happen? They're gonNA. Do the same thing you did to me. Shields up and you won't cooperate. They went on now I. Get it well now I know next time I wanNA. Get the truth out of somebody and I don't think I'm getting it I can try these techniques rather than demand the truth and the interesting to see what happens. Jack Shafer has been my guest. He's a former FBI agent and he is author of the book. The truth detector an ex. FBI agents guide for getting people to reveal the truth, and you'll find a link to the book in the show notes. Hey thanks for coming on and sharing that Jack I appreciate it. Yeah thanks, Vikes been a pleasure. Unless you live in a big city, then maybe even then when you walk out of your house, you see or hear birds. They're everywhere doing what birds do sharing the world with you. Often, we don't even notice them and mostly. They probably don't bother you very much. Even though there are probably birds very close to you right now. Birds are fascinating. Some of them are very smart. Why do they seemingly coexist so well with humans? Someone who knows a lot about? This is Jennifer Ackerman. She's been writing about science and nature for three decades. She's the author of eight books including the bestseller, the genius of birds which has been translated into twenty languages. Her articles and essays have appeared in scientific. American National Geographic the New, York, times and her latest book is called the Byrd, way. Jennifer, Thank you. It's a real delight to be here so I know. You've been a big fan of birds really since you were very young, yes. I started bird watching with my father when I was about seven or eight years old. We would go bird watching on the canal in Washington. DC was really later as a science writer that I grew curious about what makes birds tick. How do they communicate in a? Why do they sing so gloriously? And how did they learn their songs? How they make decisions? What's going on in their minds? And what are they thinking? Are they thinking and So all of this led me down a path. Path to explore bird intelligence and Burke Talk Nishin. What's interesting to me? How birds are I mean they're everywhere? They're everywhere and so we hardly notice them because they're everywhere. Yes, they are the most visible form of wildlife around us, but it really you have to pay attention more to to see them an end to and it's very rewarding once you do start to pay attention. The behaviors are fascinating, and they're so diverse I. think that's one of the things that I love about birds. You know there. There's just an incredible diversity of species. Ten thousand five hundred species in the world, and then there's also this incredible diversity of behavior You know they're just a whole range of. That can dance and drum and build fantastical bowers from sticks and and birds that can literally speak foreign languages and birds that can sing so beautifully that some of their songs are woven into musical compositions. Are they all related. Yes and all thirds are dinosaurs, which is always a surprise to people, because we think of dinosaurs, these big lumbering creatures, but all birds descend from of a line of dinosaurs that somehow made it through whatever cataclysmic event killed off their cousins, so talk about some birds birds are are regional to some extent, but talk about some specific birds that are fairly common that people see and what's so. So interesting about him well, one of my favorite examples is the chicken which is pretty common for for many of us in the United States and I think what's remarkable about these birds is that they communicate in ways that resemble language, so the calls of these little birds. He's little chicken, as they are considered by scientists to be among the most sophisticated precise systems of communication in any land animal. Like other birds, as they used certain calls to two main king contact with the made announcing nearby food source, but but the remarkable language like calls they use are the ones they used to warn of predators, and these alarm calls they specify both the type of Predator whether it's coming from the air, or from the land, and also the degree of threat that Predator represents so for example, a soft high pitched. Alarm call that signals a threat in the air like a flying shrike or a hawk and chicken DD call La- gives the bird, its name that warns of a perched editor like an owl, sitting on a limb, and here's the kicker. The number of those little DVD's at the end of its call those indicate the Predator size, and hence the degree of threat that it represents so more DVD's actually means a smaller, more agile and therefore more dangerous Predator and the really cool thing is these alarm calls recruit birds nearby to mob. The Predator and other species seem to understand the language and they join in the mobbing. So. What's it like to be a bird? I mean you know when you see birds? They seem pretty happy, but they also seem like. They have to work pretty hard to stay alive so. Is Life is a bird a good life? Birds are not. It's not just a sort of dog. Eat Dog world. It's not just a competitive world in the in the bird world, there's also many examples of cooperative behavior which I. Find You know quite extraordinary that birds can work together in everything from hunting to and you know courting mating bringing up their young, and also in their travel in the migrations that they do they. They worked together. They collaborate, and I think that's a a remarkable phenomenon, and the natural world is most of their behavior. Driven by instinct or are there? Are they smart. Yeah. That's a really good question. And until quite recently, we thought birds were were simple-minded, plying autumn Atanas driven solely by instinct, and and that their brains were were so small and primitive, they were really capable of only the simplest mental processes, but we've learned in the last ten or fifteen years that a bird's brain it's small, and it's built in a different way than ours is, but it really is in fact, a kind of. Of Miracle of miniaturization, it's dense with neurons, its`super-efficient, and it's capable of some astonishing mental feats in the past several years scientists who have been in the lab and in the field. They've really come to realize that that many species of birds are capable of far more intelligent behavior than we ever imagined using not instinct, but cognitive skills that are in many ways closer to our primate relatives like Chin-tsun. Ranga Tang's then to their reptilian relatives. Well I have some experience with birds in the parrot family and you know parents can talk and generally I. Think People believe and I guess it's mostly true that when parents talk, they're just mimicking. They don't know what they're saying. which can be pretty funny at times, but they're just mimicking. Yes, and actually there are birds such as the African grey parrot that use language and words in meaningful ways, not just in. the bird that Irene Pittsburgh. WHO's at Harvard? She worked with an African. Grey Parrot named Alex and Alex could he knew hundreds of words, and he could use them in a meaningful way, so for example you could ask Alex How many colored a how green objects are there on this tray? Full of colored objects and Alex could tell you two or four or six, and if you asked him what an object was made of, he would pick it up with his beak, and feel it with his tongue, and he would say and correctly answer wood or plastic whenever the object was made up. So this goes way beyond near Mimicry. But that that's behavior that's taught. That's not you know you can't go to an African grey parrot in the wild and say how many green objects on this tray get much of an answer. No that is correct, but the the ability to learn in that way is evidence of a very intelligent, lined and a flexible mind. You know the the The ability to learn is is one of the foundations of of cognition and. are very good at it. They learn everything from. They learn their songs in the same way that we learn language, they learn how to build their nests leased. Think that nest building was just a hardwired behavior, but birds actually get better at it time they learn how to use the right materials how to pick a good location, and so all of those things are are using their minds in ways that are are very similar to the way that that we use to learn on scales ourselves when birds are singing, and I'm sitting in the backyard, listening and hearing all these wonderful. Musical songs from birds. Are they just singing to sing or is every time you hear one? They're communicating with other birds or attempting to to send a message, or did they just sing to sing? Well I. Think the answer is both it's very interesting when they sing matters, so birds that sing in the spring are often looking for a mate, and they're also establishing their territory, so it's a very direct message to a male to female saying I'm here. I'd like to meet with you coming. Come check me out. And saying off into other males No, this is my territory. You stay out, you know this is where I'm going to be raising my family and feeding, but there are also other times of year in Talking really about the northern hemisphere here things are a little bit different in the Southern Hemisphere, but but in in the northern hemisphere in the fall some birds sing, it seems just for the sheer pleasure of it. I've come across a a mockingbird once singing in the middle of Bush and mocking birds are wonderful mimics, and they can do many different imitations of up different birds and I thought they were. Were I thought there were these different birds in this Bush, but it was just a mockingbird, and it was singing at really at the top of its lungs for no apparent good reason, there is some evidence that birds actually feel rewarded when they sing a good song, so they have reward pathways in the brain that are very similar to ours, and when they do something well, they experienced something related to pleasure. I just saw on facebook the other day somebody posted a video of it looked like an Alfred Hitchcock movie of Zillions of crows descending on a Walmart parking lot. I don't know if you saw that or not. Now but that's fascinating, you know. Crows are among the most intelligent birds. They're a member of the corporate family and these birds. They have twice as many neurons as primate brains, the same size and four times as many neurons as mammal brains of the same size, so these birds have a lot going on upstairs. And when they they, you know they are very social birds, and they often will. will flock together. People have told Me Stories About Crows actually gathering in what looks. Looks like a funeral or a vigil, because the there's a a crow that has died for some reason or another, and these birds gather around it and It looks it looks a lot a lot like a funeral, but it may just be a way for them to share information about what. How did this bird die? How do we avoid a similar fate? So one of the characteristics of birds that we learn from a very early age is that birds fly south for the winter, so talk about that whole thing. Migration and navigation. I think one of those fascinating areas with the bird world. Many Birds Migrate huge distances and they are able to navigate in a way that. Is really astonishing when you think about the that you know, they're. They're traveling with no with a very small brain and no mobile phone, so do they find their way from one point to another well, it turns out that they have a collection of mental tools that are actually the the equivalent of our, GPS compasses. Navigation. and they use all kinds of information from the environment for the use Sun and stars magnetic fields landmark sounds even smells off funneled into their brain, and then used to navigate to a particular location, and they can travel from one point in the far northern Hamas hemisphere to the far southern hemisphere and arrived just where they want to be within Of Inches, it's really astonishing. So if you're say in the northeast, and the weather starts to get colder and the birds. A lot of the birds disappear when they come back in the spring. Is it the same specific birds coming back to the same specific place most of the time? Absolutely! They returned to the same nesting grounds, and they winter in the same area so use those birds are are are likely the same birds that you see coming and going obviously there changes in generation, and that sort of thing but but then there may be the very same birds and one way that we know this is because of birds like hummingbirds actually remember the locations of feeders that people put out, and if you know, they return in April and the feeder is in hung felt just hover around that area waiting until. The feeder, the the owner puts the feeder out so it's clear that this bird has been there before remembers that there was a food source year and has returned to feed their hummingbirds. Seem to be really different compared to all the other birds in the neighborhood in the sense that I know they're the only bird that can fly backwards. They flap their wings so fast they they seem really nervous. They're very exceptional. They have that they have astonishing flight capacities. They hover like helicopters that can fly backwards and the other stunning thing about Some humming birds is their spatial memory skills There's a bird called the rufus hummingbird that lives in western North America, and this bird can recall not only the location of particular flower that it has fed on. You know in a vast field of flowers. But he can remember when it fed on that particular flower and returns to it only after the flower has had time to replenish its nectar, so this little hummingbirds stores this wear and went information about hundreds of flowers in a brain, only about the size of a grain of rice. So question I have about when I lived in the northeast and every winter, the birds would disappear because it get it I assumed it gets so cold there that know they'd freeze to death if they stayed. But they don't Algo. Some birds didn't go they. There were still birds around in the winter, and theoretically they must not have frozen. So how come some some don't. Well, it's really about food sources it's I. Think less about temperature and more about food availability and there some species of birds that can find food like chicken, for instance in is to find them in Vermont and New Hampshire in the snow, and they have a way of sussing out food sources in in difficult climates and they they often operated at elevations, too, so they're. They're they're used to finding food in very cold places. There are other species that that you know they just can't do that. They're not evolved to feed in that way, so they go south to find more abundant food source in a warmer climate, but in places like Vermont and New Hampshire and Maine where I've spent time, it can get down to twenty below zero. But the birds don't I mean I don't see a lot of dead frozen birds on the highway so? Why don't they freeze. Well for one thing they have very high metabolism. These birds are generating a lot of heat body, heat, and they're they live very fast. Birds Do, and so you know they do generate heat, and they spend a lot of energy and generate heat in flight. So that's one thing you know. There are birds that in their migrations. They crossed the Himalayas, so they're traveling at twenty thousand feet at altitude, and it's very cold. There and the air is very thin and yet these birds are doing. You know flapping flight up. There are birds monogamous. Do, they stick with one for their life. Well, that has been a misconception for a long time. We used to think that birds were monogamous. You know they were loyal to their partners, and it turns out that they're. Yes. There's a handful of species Bald Eagles are one that are mute swans, or another that are loyal to their mates for a lifetime but DNA studies show that most birds. No, they they, they are not loyal to their mates. They often on a nest, will often have eggs that are fertilized by different fathers. Social father is tending the nest. What else about birds do I likely? Not No, and I would probably find pretty fascinating. One of them is that birds for instance see color in a completely different way than we do their capacity to perceive ultraviolet light enhances their experience of collar said they're really experiencing a whole different. Dimension of collar than we are and the scientist who studies this told me that compared with with birds. We humans are virtually colorblind, so it's really interesting. interesting idea and you know we always thought birds didn't smell that they had no sense of smell. Well, it turns out that every bird tested so far can detect odors all the finches. WRENS Jays. They can all snell things I guess just about. Everybody has looked up in the sky and seen a bird and thought I wonder what I wonder what it's like to be a bird flying thing seems pretty cool, and now we have a little more insight into what it is like to be. A Bird Jennifer Ackerman has been my guest. She is a science writer and her latest book is called the Byrd Way. You'll find the link to that book at Amazon in the show notes. Thanks for being here Jennifer all right. Thanks so much. Mike appreciate the interest. Anyone who's been on a job interview knows it can be tough to talk about. Yourself can just feel weird, but everybody has to do it. And when you do, there are some words you might want to avoid using according to the job website the Muse for example intelligent. This is one of those words that you want people to say about you, but that you don't really want to say about yourself. Instead words like logical quantitative fast learner or big picture thinker might be better. Likable for the same reason. You don't want to describe yourself as intelligent you WANNA. Avoid words likable that plus it's tricky to find supporting examples of why you're likable without sounding weirdly desperate. Instead use words that you can back up like team player outgoing enthusiastic. Successful you can successfully do something, but you can't just call yourself successful. It's like saying in an interview that you're rich and good-looking, narrow the focus down from success on a global scale to success on a more specific skill. Obsessive Even if you're immensely passionate about your work, you still want avoid describing this trait or any trait with words that have a negative connotation like obsessive. Humble, it's weird to Brag about how humble you are just, it doesn't work. The more you try to explain how humble you are, the more you wear down your interviewers, trust. And that is something you should know you know the primary way. This podcast continues to grow is just people like you who listen like it and share it with somebody else, so please take a moment and tell someone you know about this podcast. I'm Mike carruthers. Thanks for listening today to something you should know.

FBI Jack Shafer Jennifer Ackerman marijuana Intel writer Mike carruthers United States New Hampshire National Security Division Elissa tation scientist analyst Byrd Illinois University Himalayas solicitation
How to Stop Postponing the Important Things in Your Life & How Food Fights Disease

Something You Should Know

47:26 min | 1 year ago

How to Stop Postponing the Important Things in Your Life & How Food Fights Disease

"Today on something you should know if you want people to trust you smell like, lavender. It'll make sense when I explain it. Then it's finally time to stop postponing those important things you really wanna do we can cravenne regret if we replace the I can do it later with. How can I do it this week or this month or this year, and we will never regret doing all? Those things calling us will only regret not doing them sooner. Also how to project power in confidence. Just by the way, you hold yourself and food as medicine. There's fascinating new evidence on how food fights disease right now. Doctors are not giving prescriptions for food. But in the future, they may be. In the meantime, when you're at home, the healthcare, you can do for yourself is the food that you choose to eat three times a day. All this today on something, you should know. Somethingyoushouldknow fascinating. Intel the world's top experts and practical advice, you can use in your life today. Something you should know it might Carruthers. Hey, welcome one of the things that interest me about podcasting is how people listen, and when people listen, and we know from analytics, we know that most people listen on mobile devices, either on their phone or their tablet, but more and more. We're seeing an increase in listening to this podcast anyway on smart speakers. And I think one of the reasons that happens is it's so easy to listen on a smart speaker. You just say Alexa, play something, you should know. And here's something you should know. I'm tune in. Today on something, you should know. And smart speakers are becoming so popular. I remember, I don't know year so ago, I wasn't even sure what is smart speaker was we now have four smart speakers in the house, and we use them all because they are so easy to listen to and they're so easy to get information. From from the time, the weather sports scores you're looking for. So it's it's one of those things where once you have a smart speaker. It's like, you wonder how you ever lived without it first up today, if you want to appear more, trustworthy to other people it might be a good idea to surround yourself with the scent of lavender because when other people smell it. They're more willing to trust the person, they're dealing with in an experiment. Ninety young adults were separated into three groups to play a game that tested interpersonal trust during the. Game. One group was exposed to no scent at all the second group to the scent of peppermint and the third to lavender the ones who smelled lavender were significantly more willing to entrust money with someone else. Then people in the other groups, researchers say the olfactory nerve, which affects smell is connected to that part of the brain that controls how we trust others, and that lavender has a calming effect. Whereas peppermint is more stimulating. And that is something you should know. We all have things in life that we say we wanna do trips. We wanna take things we want to accomplish people. We want to spend time with and somehow those things never get done. Why if they're so important, why are we not doing them? And then there are a lot of things taking up time in our life that we'd really rather not do. So why are we doing them? How do we fix this? That's the question. I'm about to put to Sam horn. Sam is a speaker and writer of several books and her latest is called someday is not a day in the week. Hey sam. So this idea of doing what you wanna do doing the important things in life and eliminating the things you don't wanna do doing that. When you say it out loud. It just makes all the sense in the world. So why don't we do it? Why don't people just naturally stop doing what they don't like? And do what? They think is important yellow buoy. See you this is about procrastination, and the Buddha said the thing is we think we have time. See, that's that's the allure. And the temptation of someday is that because we're busy. We think we'll do it later as if we're going to have more time later, do you know, anyone who has more time than they used to? So once you realize that now is the new later, then you stop putting things off automats. In fact, there's a little tests that we can use to stop procrastinating on even little things like chores and so forth. Wanna hear it? Next time. You're about to put something off ask yourself these for questions number one. Do I have to do this number to do? I want it over. I'm not feeling guilty about it. A worrying about it. Number three. How much time does it take actually? And number four the big one any easier. Later caso with these four questions. Here's a wonderful success story of someone who put them into practice on the way home from the workshop. She said Sam I'm driving along. I see gestation I glance at my tank. It's almost empty. I think I should get some gas. She said, well, guess what I said, I'll get it tomorrow. And then I asked myself, wait a minute. Do I have to get? Yes. Yeah. I'm the only one that drives his car. Do I want it over? So I don't have to worry about running out on the freeway. Two more morning. Yeah. How much time? Does it take guess five minutes? Will it be any easier tomorrow? No. She said, I pulled it. I got the gas. She said, I got home. I'm fixing dinner. I opened a refrigerator there's an out of date yogurt on the shelf. What do I think I think I'll throw it away later? I close the door start walking away little four questions popped up in my mind. Do I wanna throw away that yogurt? So it doesn't start smelling up through for raider will be easier later it. Takes five seconds to throw away. The yogurt. It really can help us overcome the automatic postponement of things for no good reason. Yeah. Well, who hasn't done that? And I've heard that advice to that. You know, if something's only gonna take two minutes. Why why put it on a list of things to do later? Just do it. Just get it over with. She, you know, Mike, what you're just bringing up is the burden of the hassle of the accumulated postponed task Henry Miller said life for most of is one long postponement, and you know, what it feels bad we're carrying away this burden and it is a pass to regret. In fact, all always remember, I was speaking a convention and the gentleman who introduced me it had a heart attack the year before. Well, he had survived it. But he said that that what he couldn't stop thinking about on the way to the hospital having procedure, and so forth is all those things he promised himself. You know, he and his wife had been talking about going to Hawaii four years and had always put it off because they were so busy. He said, you know, he he promised a family reunion. And but there was always reasons Rio is this kid has a graduation. This kid is in grad school and then. He realized that we can prevent regrets. If we replace the I can do it later with. How can I do it this week or this month or this year, and we will never regret doing all those things calling us will only regret not doing him food? There does seem to be what I think about this some element of. Yeah. I wanna do these things. But maybe I don't really deserve it. Maybe I'm being too good to myself at the expense of others. And and that's why I put it off to later when I figure I do deserve it, Mike, you get pinpointed is that many people feel it's selfish to do something that puts the light on in their eyes and a very interesting. 'cause of this is coming out, do you know that that young people in their thirties on twenty or actually putting off marriage? And the reason is is because many of them saw their parents sack. Kreis himself for their kids. You know, the the parents didn't have any interests. They were every softball and soccer game every dance recital every piano recital. And they think well, I'm not ready to sacrifice myself for my kids. So I'm not gonna have them right now. So I'm I'm asking everyone out there is that do you believe that putting other people? I is the right thing. The noble thing to do are you leaving yourself out of your own story. And where did you get that message? And it is is it a healthy message. Do we really want to model for other people that we we never do what we want that? We always do what other people want. It is not selfish to do one thing a week that puts the light on in your eyes. It's smart. I'm not talking about doing it all the time. It's just that. So many of the people I've met interviewing people around the country is that they are self sacrificing themselves for. Others because they think it's the responsible right thing to do. And what they're modeling is still sacrifice which comes with two big of price. Well, that's interesting. Take on you know, why people are putting off marriage as if it's either or that if you get married, and you have kids now you have to go to every softball game. And you can't do anything for yourself. And there are plenty of people who manage to juggle both of those things and are quite happy. I'm so glad you're bringing that up because I hope people imprint these five these five words what we accept we teach. So see and what we model we teach. So as you said, there are people who have determined that as an adult. It is my responsibility to model for my kids that you can raise children, and you can have your own interest in hobbies, and that it is. Not an either or it's both. And that by making sure that yes, I come to your games, and your sports and your school activities, and I also have my own interest. That is what we're teaching our children that everyone counts. And that you don't give up everything you want to do. And only do what the people around you want to do. So it does make you wonder why this is so hard. I mean, lots of people will hear you say this most of them will do nothing because it's too hard to change the routine or it's they don't think the supply. I don't know what it is. But most people don't change. You know, my once again, you keep pinpointing the the you're taking deeper into the cause of this. Because only when we get crystal clear about these habits these habitual ways of living. Do we look at them and change them? In fact, Joan Khader out of Harvard says do you know, what the number one prerequisite is for change a sense of urgency and see if we don't have a sense of urgency. Then once again, we're swimming. We can do it later. Now, here's a way to give yourself a sense of urgency. It's called an S E E, that's a significant emotional event and most S E R, dramatic or traumatic. You know, we have a health challenge. We lose a loved one. We get divorced. We get fired and see we come face to face with our mortality, and we realize that the clock is ticking. And that we that we need to do things. Differently now. Well, I think why wait to have an actual S E. Why not have an imaginary SE? So we can get the opinion without the pain. So he can get the urgency. So we're motivated to do things differently now instead of later now, I've got a favorite success story that do we have time to share it. Sure. So let me remind people though that I'm speaking with Sam horn, and she is author of the book someday is not a day in the week. You know, one of the reasons you listen to this podcast. I suspect is because you know, you're the curious type. So you are the perfect person. To discover skill share skill share is an online learning community with more than twenty five thousand classes in just about everything today, we're discussing procrastination and later on in the podcast. We're going to be talking about food and nutrition and skill share has a lot of great courses on both of these things as well as classes. Is in social media marketing mobile, photography, creative writing even illustration. In fact, it was the mobile, photography course, that interested me. So I'm taking it and already the pictures. I take with my phone are so much better. If you're a somethingyoushouldknow listener, you must like learning. So I have a great offer for you two months of skill share for free. That's right skill share is offering something you should know listeners two months of unlimited access to twenty five thousand classes for free to sign up. Go to skill share dot com slash something. Again. Go to skill share dot com slash something to start your two months now. Join me and millions of other students already learning on skill share and get two months for free that skill share dot com slash something. Something you should know is sponsored by ADT. What is real protection for your home and family mean to you? Well, whatever it is ADT can deliver. When it comes to home security ADT is a name, you know, it's the most trusted name in home security, and with ADT you get the latest innovation in smart home security, combined with twenty four seven monitoring ADT is the number one smart home security provider with a team of professionals who design and install a secure smart home, customized just for you with things like video doorbells indoor and outdoor cameras smart locks and lights all controlled from the ADT app, or by the sound of your voice. And this is really great. You can also get safety on the go or for when your kids are at school. It's the ADT go app with an SOS button. When security is important you need ADT. So Sam you wanted to share a success story like. So go ahead and do that. Great. Well, I was doing a workshop in Waikiki. And one woman what she wasn't doing that. She wanted to being adventurous. And I said well, like, what's an example? She said well here I am in Hawaii. And she said I haven't stepped foot in the water because I saw jaws when I was a kid big mistake. I said, okay. The way to hack a fear is to make the daunting. Doable. She said, what do you mean by that? I said you don't have to go in the ocean the deep ocean where you have to worry about sharks. I said, do you know about the Natta Torian, it's only three feet deep. It's where Duke Kahanamoku used to train for the Olympics. And it only has one small break in the seawall. So the surf can't get in and either the sharks. She said, okay. I said now another way to hack a fear and to give yourself urgency is to put a date on the calendar because one of these days. Is none of these days. I said when are you leaving she said two days from now, I said tomorrow is the day. I said now set your clock for six AM. She said why six AM I said because the sun is going to come up over diamond head at six thirty and you want to be at water's edge about to step into that natto in water when the sun peeks up over diamond head. She said why is that so important? I said because experiences are more meaningful when their metaphorical I said now, there's one more way to hack a fear. I said, here's my card and my number. I said promise me, you will send me a picture of you doing this. So we can celebrate it together. Guess what? Mike do days later. I get this smiling picture Beverly at water's edge. And so it goes to everything you're saying if you want to hack a fear or this sense of complacency and give yourself of sense of urgency is make the. Daunting doable. So you don't have to go back to college and get your degree just make a phone. Call sign up for one class is a make it meaningful and metaphorical, maybe you can picture all of your your family there when you get when you finish that first class as proof that you can make your life. More of what you want it to be now. And not someday, you know, put a date on the calendar, you're gonna call today before the, you know, the indivisible day, you're going to call that local community college and find out a class. And if you do those things you get yourself out of inertia and see when we're in a nurse. Nothing happens. Right. Just set something in motion, and you will have momentum. And now you're on a roll. And it does take that change in thinking you have to stop doing the someday I'll do this. And instead do it aviation pioneer. Chuck Yeager who actually. Was the one who broke the first sound barrier. He said at the moment of truth, there are either reasons or results, and I'm asking every single person listening to this some day at the end of your life. You're going to look back. And you're either gonna have reasons reasons why you didn't do things reasons why you put things off or you're going to have results, and you're gonna have either regrets our results. And here's a quick example yesterday of this someday journal and the days, quote was from Stephen Covey. And he said, we are not a product of our circumstances. We are a product of our decisions, and I looked outside and it was a beautiful day outside. And I asked myself, what am I doing inside? So I put on my shoes and two minutes later, I was out the door. And I'm walking along I'm moving in. I'm grooving. I'm infused. With energy. I'm feeling so lucky to be alive, and one of the things you're talking about Mike is that if we stay with our habits were often stained sedentary where often staying inside and inside is where the reasons reside get outside because when we decide to get outside. Now, we're feeling energized. Now, we're seeing other people doing things we are motivated by what they're modeling is that life starts outside and you're thinking families still winter they're still snow for some people even that is going to motivate us more than staying inside where the reasons reside. That is another way for us to get the energy and the motivation to do something different. Instead of just staying stuck sedentary sitting in our head living with regrets the wonder though, had this conversation. With other people about the idea of people who say they want to do things. But maybe they don't really want to do things. Maybe they say they want to write the great American novel. But they never get to it. Maybe they say they wanna take a trip around the world. But maybe they don't really maybe they just like saying it and believing it we cock about dreams, and I really believe that we're never too old to have new dreams and that the key instead of just talking about it is to just take one step to try it. We, you know, Martin Luther King said you don't have to see the whole staircase to take the first step. So see instead of thinking I'm going to write the great American novel. That's so daunting. You know, what if it's not any good? What if we're not very good writer? Oh my gosh. That's gonna take so long. So see we talk ourselves out of even trying do what James Rollins did. You know, I had the privilege of helping to start and run the Maui. Writers conference for seventeen years, and you may know James Rollins, he's a New York Times bestseller has more than eighteen New York Times bestseller. But that's not how we started. He was a veterinarian in Davis, California. And he came home on his fortieth birthday, and he was exhausted. And he fixed himself a TV dinner sat down in front of the TV and he's slipping through channels. There's Tony Robinson. Tony Robbins says what's your dream? He said if you don't get up off the couch right now and do something to move it forward. It's never going to happen. So instead of just saying, but I'm busy, but I have my own, you know, he got up. He went over. He called his local Barnes and noble. He asked if they had a reader support group every Tuesday night they did. So he put it on the calendar. And instead of trying to go at a loan. He went it together. Because in a group with other people. Sometimes we don't have much energy. We get to jump on the bandwagon avair energy. And I will always remember at up. He was standing at our opening reception. We had something called the manuscript marketplace where you had a guaranteed look by top agent and editor, and here's someone talking about who is going to win the manuscript marketplace and that not only person going to win. But the he's going to introduce him to his agent and his editor both at the conference. Well, he turns around it's Terry Brooks sort of Shara great scifi fantasy writer, and he's talking about his manuscript. And James says it never would have happened. If he didn't get up off the couch in that moment of inspiration and call and get support and put himself in a community instead of trying to go it alone where he probably would have run out of discipline run out of perseverance and run out of his own conviction that. This is something you wanted to do. So for the person who has just listened to you and been motivated by what you're saying that. Yes, you should do the things that you wanna do. But where do you start? If you've been living your whole life, postponing everything how do you begin this? So that you actually start moving towards doing the things you want to do. I'm going to recommend you GT SF stuff Google that stuff. And here's a quick example of what I mean is that if you just get an inkling you don't have to commit to it right now, just what is something that calls you or that you think might be fun or that you haven't tried before the like to try. There was a a woman who moved to New York and she had been a actress in her high school plays in her community theater. And so she moved to to New York with dreams of being on Broadway. And she said year later, she is still sleeping on a friend's couch. Still working as a waitress she's still going to addition after audition and being rejected and she felt so lonely and she heard about something called daybreak her. And she decided to go now daybreak or is in almost every major city around the United States, and it was started by rata Agri wall. She and her twin sister, Mickey I gr- wall were out dancing one night. And there was a bouncer at the door and a lot of people were on substances, and and it felt dangerous. Well, they were entrepreneurs. And they said, okay, we're going to do the opposite of this. What if we had a dance party in the morning instead of at night, what if instead of substances we had green juice? What if instead of a bouncer we had a welcome party? Well, this young woman went to a daybreak over. And she said she made more friends in two hours, then she had in almost two years in New York City, and she said, she found her new home, and she never. Ever would have made that switch probably would have gone back to her hometown with their tail between her legs if she hadn't just reached out one time if she hadn't GTS, you know, community and and found this dance party and only cost twenty five bucks, and it changed her life. So what I'm reaching out to people Google that stuff if you like dogs just put in, you know, what's where's the local dog park where you can walk your dog at the local dog park instead of just walking around the block if you like horses, maybe you can volunteer. Maybe don't have to own a horse. You can't afford that. But maybe you could volunteer at the local therapeutic course center, I guarantee you if you Google put into search something that you're thinking about trying whether it's music or whether it's art or whether it is gardening. You're going to find something in your. Community just go once you don't have to commit to going for the next year or signing up for six months, just go. Once get your bandwagon out of your bedroom. And I bet people will jump on it, and you can get that momentum. That carries you forward into a life. You like instead of one you regret who doesn't want that Sam horn has been my guest. She is speaker and writer her latest book is called someday is not a day in the week. There's a link to her book at Amazon in the show notes. Thank you said. You're welcome. I can thank so much. I appreciate having the chance to do the show with you. Planning spring break getaway. Well with the Capital One venture card. You were an unlimited double miles on any purchase. You make today and every day and those miles add up to get closer to that trip to paradise every vanilla soy latte. Double miles every time. You pump gas demo mile, even when you buy a set of monogram beach towels yet double miles you weren't unlimited double miles on every purchase. And then you go the Capital One venture card the card that takes you there. What's in your wallet? USAA? I think we all have a general sense of what it means to eat healthy. And that there are nutrients and things in food that keep us functioning, and they keep our organs and cells working, and we're not really sure exactly how it works. It's all a little bit vague. But it all works. And now, it seems that some of the foods we eat can do much more than that. They can actually help to prevent an even fight disease some serious disease, and this is relatively new information. Dr William Lee is at the forefront of all this. Dr Lee is a pioneering scientist and physician who has served on the faculties of Harvard Medical School, Tufts University and Dartmouth medical school. He's author of the book eat to be disease eye, doctor, so talk about your work in all of this. How this is all coming together. Pass thirty years, I've been working. At looking at common denominators, health and disease. And the one thing we've discovered is that health is not simply the absence of disease. But rather it's the result of hard wired natural defenses that are inside our bodies that are firing and also injures hard at work from the time. We're born to the we take our very less breath some of those defense systems, and there's five of them that I think are particularly important because food can activate each of these defenses. All right. So let's let's start with that. Let's tackle those five things. The first one is angiogenesis ital- of the body grows. Blood vessels are circulating blood vessels. Bring oxygen and nutrients to every cell the body protects us against sickness. The second one is our regenerative system are stem cells. We were taught when we were kids that salamanders starfish regenerate people don't. But that is now. Turned on its head because find tips have now discovered that we do regenerate from the inside out using our stem cells and foods can activate that to the Knicks defenses are microbiome are healthy, gut bacteria, which is really billing our bodies. We've got thirty nine trillion bacteria within our bodies. So you could consider that we're infected but not thick in fact, quite the opposite. These bacteria communicate with our organs and even our brains to help keep us healthy or DNA, which is much more than our genetic code actually protects us against harms the environment. Whether it's ultraviolet radiation at the beach or fumes we might actually inhale at a filling station where putting guests our car. And then our system is our final health defense system, and we've always recognized that as protecting our health, but we now know that the arm system is more powerful than we ever imagine. Because there are breakthroughs in cancer research that show. If you give a cancer patient and immune therapy that doesn't kill the cancer by itself. But just lets the body do what it wants to do you can wipe out cancer completely. And what's really remarkable is that there is real science that shows how more than two hundred foods can activate one or more of these systems to boost our health so how so give me an example, for example. Soybeans, right. So Soifer foods have gotten a scary reputation recent years because many people believe that a plant estrogen that's found in soy might cause breast cancer. Well, we know the human estrogen can actually feel breast cancers, some breast cancers, but it turns out that plant estrogens are nothing like human estrogens, infecting counter them. So sorely can actually be used to fight cancer, including breast cancer. When I read about my book is the study of five thousand women who already have breast cancer, and it was found that those women who ate. More soy actually, had better survival and less chance of having cancer come back. And so how does this only work it actually cuts off the blood supply feeding cancers, so one example of how foods can help us right size. Our defenses to protect us is soybeans that actually cut off the blood supply, so remove removes too many blood vessels that are being cancer. Another sort of example of that is in fact, tomatoes, and you know, people have now begun to question whether tomatoes are a good food or bad food because they might or might not be related to the Nightshade family. We'll look tomatoes are an amazing source of vitamins and a naturally occurring. Chemical called lycopene lycopene is anti angiogenesis. Meaning that it cuts off the blood supply to feeding cancers and study of almost forty seven thousand men show that those who eight two to three servings of cooked tomatoes tomato sauce per week had a. Thirty percent reduction in their risk of developing prostate cancer. So here you have two of the biggest fears of men and women where diet actually activates our health offenses. Okay. So here's the thing that always concerns me, and I think confuses people into inaction because they don't know what to do with this information. So does that mean that I can eat a bowl of spaghetti sauce once a month, and I'm fine. Do I need to eat sixteen bowls of it every day for the rest of my life, and is a little soya sauce. Okay. Or do I need to eat a play the soybean every day. So how does it? What's the prescription? What you're talking about is exactly the confusion that exists out there in the public right now, which is that we've been so trained over the last decades on the latest SuperFood or the super diet and looking for that magic pillar magic bullet. And there are people writing diet books all the time that, you know, claim to cure disease, and so. So precisely as you brought up there is no magic food that you should be eating all the time. If you take a look at the two hundred who's I put in my book and pick the ones that you love and figure out how to incorporate those into your died over the course of a week or even the course of a month. You're adding good things to your your diet that actually support and activate your health offense systems. That's the new direction of where food as medicine is going. We're not talking about deprivation, we're not talking about subtraction or limitation. We're talking about adding to foods sore died starting with the foods that we already like. And so then what about the people who eat horribly and live to a hundred and fifty years old? And they've been you know, smoke a pack of cigarettes and have a v aj- in every day. I mean, there's there's always those outliers that seem to defy everything you're saying that is a great question. And in fact, it's doesn't infect fits my what I'm saying about the health offenses precisely what I will tell you is. That modern research is discovering that some people seem to have extraordinary health defenses that regardless of what you throw at them. They're they're hardwired defenses seem to be able to fight off all those harmful effects better than other people. Because of course, we always we also know the people there are some people who are, you know, jogging and running and juicing everyday who wind up having developing horrible diseases. And so the question is, you know, well, why did they not actually why do they come? And why didn't they actually survive? Despite the fact, they were you know, doing Pilates? And the answer really is it's not about the food. It's about how our body response to it about our bodies defenses. So some people have stronger defenses than others and the goal is really to try to boost our defenses based on our knowledge. And so if you're immune system's down, we should try to boost it if your circulation can be improved. Now, there are ways that you improve our circulation if your risk of cancer for cancer the sign says. That we can actually knowledgeably choose foods among many that we can add it to our system that can actually tip the scales. A bit more in our favor than against favor of the disease. So again, no single prescription. No magic bullet. But really, it's a life style of choosing wisely. If you are the theoretical person who's eating a quote, healthy, diet, lots of fruits and vegetables, and that's and lean meats, and that is that. Okay. Or do we need to drill down and get more granular than that broadly speaking, you know, I think the general wisdom is whole plant based foods are good for us. And that's true. But we're actually now beginning to understand what's in individual foods. What's a strawberry? It's an acid caught a logic acid. What's in a coffee? It's called Clark genyk acid. That's actually good for us. What's in you know, leafy green dark green leafy vegetables? We know what that is as well. L and we begin asking deeper questions. So for tomato, the Leica pain that I was mentioning to you is there some varietal tomato. That's got more potent like a pain than others. The answer's yes. For example. Researchers have been looking at which tomato varietals have the greatest amount of like opinion, go to a farmer's market. Then you're off the summer were offered such a huge variety, which one do you choose? It turns out the San Marzano tomato from Italy. Even the ones the can are packed with like a peanut turns up cherry tomatoes, actually have the like of of a big tomato. Just packed in a more concentrated smaller package. Those are excellent. And there's an orange timid colored tomato. Call the tanger- intimated. It's also very rich in it's like appeanas. Well, so we can drill deeper, and we also know that we're leaning forward into choosing our foods some foods mix well together. So for example, the Leica peanut tomato. The good stuff is actually dissolved in fat. It's a fat. Call fat soluble. Bioactive? And so when you actually cook it tomato with olive oil. Then you eat that together, you wind up absorbing more. The like opinions your bloodstream, so yes, we can real deeper were beginning to do that science now. But at the end of the day most people aren't interested in the science interested in something that tastes good that they can afford that they can find. And that's what heating to be disease means that regardless of your socioeconomic status or where you live or what you do for a living or what your cultures you can find food that science telling us can help activate our circulation are stem cells are feed are healthy bacteria. Protect our DNA and activate our immunity and does food fight disease. Once you get it or are we just talking about preventing disease. So you don't get it. Right. So the schism between his medicine, or is that I would tell you that it's both. Now, I'm a medical doctor. That's actually spent most of my career helping to develop cutting edge biotech treatments for unbeatable diseases. And so I know firsthand just how powerful medicines can be and yes foods can be even more powerful because we can prevent disease itself. And that's you know, one of the promises on having a healthier diet started earlier in life. But even if you're sick think about it your doctoral give you a prescription or the hospital do something for you. But when you're at home, the healthcare, you can do for yourself is the food that you choose to eat three times a day right now. Doctors are not giving prescriptions for food. But in the future, they may be in the meantime, the what healthcare is actually what happens between visits to the doctor's office. That's what I tell people is that that's the decision you can make yourself. And so if you're sick. Besides the medicines are getting you can actually choose foods that activate those defenses and nowhere is this more pressing, for example, that I mean every patient that I've ever seen who has cancer is always interested in what foods they should actually science is starting to provide some of those answers, and it's not definitive. There's a lot more work to be done. But I think that you know, we're beginning to enter this era where food becomes a tool in the toolbox. And if you do this how how potent is the food in the sense that if I identify that I need to eat soy more often how much more often. And if I stop do I lose all the benefits or does it linger or what? Or is it changed from food to food or what all important questions as some of which are remaining ahead for researchers to answer. But they'll ideas to eat diversely among those foods at activate your health offensive. So it's again trying to get away from this idea. That like pick one food and eat it all the time. But rather what are those foods activating? And if they're activating your immune system, can I choose among different foods that I like that will all activate the art my muse system in terms of how long these affects last. Here's something amazing in young people drinking some fresh, orange juice actually can start to protect your DNA against damage within twenty minutes after you start drinking it it's pretty amazing. You start seeing these changes so quickly. Another study that I talked about eating Kiwis whether one key where three Kiwi a day that also help to protect your DNA. But also boost your immune system about I'm not saying food is a magic answer. I'm saying it's a important tool in our toolbox. What you just said, though, brings up a really important issue. A frustration for a lot of people. There are so many people who who are are concerned about nutrition and. Obesity who are pounding drum against fruit juice, and you just said orange juice will help protect your DNA. So do we not drink it because of all the sugar or do we drink it because it protects DNA or do we throw all this out and go have a coke because nobody can really decide, you know, when you talk about individual foods, we tend to actually have a reductionist view. So you take about fruit chews, you think about the sugar, and that's gotta be bad because sugar bad for you. But really if you think about a whole plant based food they may have sugar in it may have a lot of sugar in it. A great example, I give is not just only orange ships like mangoes, not even a juice. It's a fruit a lot of people are afraid of the sugar and a mango. But in fact, what they don't realize that along with that sugar in that mango when you eat it. You actually have fiber you have vitamins bioactive, there's at least two. Oh, actives a boost your immune system can even target cancer stem cells help feed your gut microbiome, and so by taking a larger picture view. I think we start to see that. Although there may be some things that we want to have a little bit less of unbalanced, there'd be me more components of whole foods that we eat that can actually help support our defenses. I think people are so used to the advice of cutting out foods that getting rid of unhealthy foods is what's so important. And you're not talking about that at all you're talking about adding foods to your diet. And so which is more important. I mean, obviously, you you think adding foods is more important, but but what about the concern of reducing or getting rid of unhealthy foods as a way to be healthy and live longer life. The idea that I try found most successful for people is that is not to tell them to cut things out. But to say, hey, you should have this any of you make more good decisions over time then bad decisions. Then there's less room for the bad foods that you're eating and more effects of the good foods that you're eating and so it is a balance for sure it's a net balance. When you look at all this food is is there any because it's never jelly donuts and French fries. It's always asparagus and broccoli is there any food that that like falls into the category of pleasurable that that actually is good for you. So you might be surprised, for example, that hard cheeses actually been shown to reduce cancer risk why? Because some of the hard cheeses like Gouda are y'all y'all's cheese. They're actually made with bacteria starter that as a side effect of the bacteria kick out special kind of vitamin called vitamin k to this fight him in K to actually cuts off the blood supply feeding cancers anti. Angiogenesis so surprised when you go to the Epoc study looking at thousands of patients, you see that people who eat the quivalent of about two slices of hard cheeses. Like you see in hotels in Europe, small amount of cheese. Actually, they have a lower risk of lung cancer some other surprises for example, dark chocolate as if anybody needs another reason to love chocolate. There's been a research study done at UCSF that actually studied in people with coronary disease. So they've got blockages in their heart blood vessels that if you actually give them dark chocolate that are packed with these flavonoids. He's the healthy bioactive, those bioactive that eating chocolate can coax out there stem cells that help them to repair and regenerate their blood vessels and improve their blood flow. How much do you need to have well in that study? It was having two cups of hot cocoa made with dark chocolate twice a day for thirty days. And so again, these are not sort of generalize. -able this is the data take a look at it and sort of make your own conclusions. But pretty convincing to me as a research scientist, Dr that food does have an effect on our body. But this idea of food is medicine, I think really appeals to people it would appeal more to people if jelly donuts really were a medicine. But Nevertheless, I think it's very exciting. Dr William Lee has been my guest. He is a scientist and physician who has served on the faculties of Harvard Medical School Dartmouth medical school and Tufts University and his book is called eat to beat disease. You will find a link to his book and Amazon in the show notes. Dr Lee, thank you. My pleasure. My thank you for having me on. Have you ever seen someone walk into a room? And immediately know that they're the one in charge. There's a couple of reasons for that that are largely about body language erect posture gestures made with palms facing down and just generally open an expansive gestures. The brain is hardwired to equate power with the amount of space that people take up standing up straight with your shoulders back is a power position it appears to maximize the amount of space you fill slouching on the other hand is the result of collapsing. Your form it appears to take up less space and projects less power. Maintaining good posture commands respect and promotes engagement, whether you're a leader or not. And that is something you should know. If you subscribe to this podcast. It's just one less thing. You have. To remember to do because the episodes will be delivered right to your device, and you can subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen to podcasts subscribing is always free. I'm Mike Carruthers. Thanks for listening today to something you should know.

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SYSK Choice: How to Heal Emotional Injury & How Trust Works

Something You Should Know

37:01 min | 4 months ago

SYSK Choice: How to Heal Emotional Injury & How Trust Works

"Today on something you should know if you use a wire. Brush to clean your outdoor grill. You need to hear something before someone gets hurt. Also understanding and treating emotional pain like failure when we fail at. It changes the section of the thing. We failed at such that. We tend to see that goal as more difficult to achieve than it actually is and we tend to be skill set in our ability as more efficient than they actually are then. Some common fashion mistakes men need to stop making an understanding trust and how to use the power of trust to your advantage. I defined a competent belief in so if I confidently believe in you if I confidently believe in. Mike cost go down. Skepticism goes down when I can confidently believe that when you say that you mean it. Everything changes Paul this today on something. You should know though. We're apart these days we're sharing more and GYCO would just like to say thanks. Thanks for sharing. Your savage dance moves. Thanks for sharing your. Diy Haircut fails thanks for sharing your inner lip sync star. Now gyco turn to share to with the Geiko give back a fifteen percent credit on and motorcycle policies for current and new customers and because GEICO's committed for the long haul the fifteen percent credit last year full policy term visit GEICO DOT com slash giveback for Info and eligibility fascinating Intel. The world's top experts and practical advice. You can use in your life today. Somethingyoushouldknow with Mike carruthers. I welcome something. You should know that this episode is publishing on Saturday. May the ninth and depending on where you are in the world. Chances are things are starting to warm up a bit Where I am in California. Were having mostly sunny skies and a high in the eighties and so we've already started our outdoor cooking this year. And perhaps you have to and if not you soon will be and I came across this thing that that I think is really important. If you use a wire brush to clean your grill. Stop the wirebrush has been a standard grill cleaning tool for a long time now but there have been more and more incidents of people ingesting the wire bristles or fragments of the bristles. What happens is you're cleaning the grill with the brush bristles can break off if you clean too hard or the bristles get loose or whatever and then they wind up on the grill getting cooked into your food and that poses a real hazard ingested bristles can do damage to the mouth or the throat or even go farther down and wind up perforating the testing and you say well come on. I've never heard of that before. But the fact is there have been over sixteen hundred cases of people being treated for this in the Er since two thousand and two so it is a real thing and it's something you should know so life has a way of dishing up times now and again rejection guilt failure. All these things can cause emotional wounds and most of the time you shake them off in time helps to heal and and sometimes not. So what do you do about those more serious emotional wounds? That don't seem to heal on their own here to discuss. That is psychologist Guy Winch. Who is author of a book called Emotional First Aid? Welcome guy and so. I think people don't generally think of emotional wounds. Something that you that you do anything about for the most part. They're part of life. When bad things happen yes suck it up. You shake it off your move on which is interesting because we don't have that attitude when it comes to physical injuries we have to put antibacterial ointment on a Khartoum. You know we have to treat a cold. It's the same is true of emotional and psychological injuries. We can sometimes just get over them but by not treating them. We're making it more risky for them to become infected for them. Take longer to heal for the emotional pain to persist is just trying to shake it off and let time pass. Does it not work? It works sometimes and small injuries which we shake them off and they're not going to bother us. That's a fine thing to do but a lot of the Times these things nagy and we're still thinking about them. And we're still stewing about them and we'll still and are still hurt about them. You know hours days and weeks later and that's a sign that we really need to treat what's going on because we're not justice. Shrugging it off. We're not getting over it and it just keeps piling on and piling on and piling on it keeps piling on down. The road is GonNa also impact not just our long-term mental health or emotional wellbeing but as I say in the book that many kinds of emotional injuries that severely impact a physical health as well as their emotional health. And so let's talk about sort of some specifics of how you do this. I mean when do you do it? How do you do it and what is it you do well? It depends on what the injury is because the thing is that certain kinds of emotional injuries. Impact us in ways that we don't quite expect to realize so for example when we have a problem with brooding or rumination when we still being about something and we just can't get it out of minds that doesn't just impact on mood. It doesn't just make us more upset or more angry. Each time we think the event with a picture of the scene the experience over and over again but it can actually impact our decision making it can impact our stress levels. It can put us long-term interest for cardiovascular disease so we really have to know in what ways we're being impacted by these wounds before we can begin to address how to treat them and everyone is impacted differently by. I mean you rejection might not be as big a problem for you as it is for me. That's true we all have sensitivities to some things more than others But in general where usually all impacted in similar ways. And we know it right. I mean when when we get that sting of rejection. I mean. There's no question what it is when we get the sting of rejection when we feel emotionally hurt it actually feels a lot like physical pain to send studies. Show that when we put people in F-. Mri machines those scans. That actually can see what's happening in the brain when we're thinking or feeling certain things the same way as get activated when we feel rejection that get activated when feels physical. Pain rejection is therefore extremely extremely painful. We certainly know when we're feeling it. Yeah so so when you feel it though how do you? You can't just make it go away. You can't just wish it the way that would be terrific. You can't do that but what you can do is understand that. It's impacting you in a variety of levels. It's hurting your mood. It's probably hurting yourself. Esteem it's probably making you very angry and making you feel aggressive and it's impacting something that's called the need to belong because we all have this fundamental need to feel as though we were a part of our tribe part of our group apart of fundamental circle of people and it impacts that and so we actually have to address all those wounds we have to find ways to reconnect to call and groups in our lives. We have to find ways to get feedback from people who care about us and values that That indeed we are valuable indeed. We wanted we actually have to take all these kinds of proactive actions to get back. The things that are being You know at at a loss of the things that are being damaged in that moment are some things like guilt. I mean if you really did something that was just poor judgment I mean. In retrospect. You wish you'd never done it. I mean it's done. It's there it is in some cases. It's Donald there. It is but usually guilty about something that's relational in other words did something poor judgment that actually harmed another person and so done but there's forgiveness to be had from the other person there's a tournament to be made in those kinds of scenarios. There's a way in which you want to. At least try and communicate to the other person that you have a very clear impact of your actions and what impact your actions hand on them. What feeling what they went through so that you can get their forgiveness there ways in which you can try and tone for what you did and do make ups there. There are ways in which you can try and forgive yourself if that's not possible so yes. The action is done but the problem with Gilles lingers when it's excessive and it doesn't just fade in time just really lingers and bothers you and you do have to take some kind of action and Situation. Do you believe or do you know that that the more experience say failure or rejection. Does it get easier to take? It doesn't necessarily get easier to take with one exception if we can do it all at once. So for example Actors who rarely audition if they go for this big audition. They don't get it. They might feel rejected. They might feel like they failed but actors addition regularly who go on five or six editions. Day It really doesn't bother them as much because they're they're used to it. Their skins are getting tougher in the same way if we're trying to make Place cold calls because we're looking for work or that kind of thing. Making one of those calls can be very tricky but making plenty of them much less so yeah it's just it's just getting up the whatever it is to get to that twentieth call. It's so hard right but the thing is that once you get to the second or third and you know you have another fifteen dot com. You just cross that one off your list and you go on so you do develop within moments a thicker skin about however if you then take three weeks off and start another call you'll feel vulnerable again. It's it's when we do it all at once. Well that that is that we can actually thick skin literally if we do it in chunks in the moment. Do you think that that people try to do these things? This I stuff in their own way to try to self soothe themselves in May and may or may not hit the mark but but that there's a natural kind of response to try to get rid of those oracle feelings people Do try and sell food in some ways. Sometimes they're successful. They'll go and talk to somebody who's very supportive and empathetic and they might feel a little bit better after that A lot of the Times. They don't because they don't know what to do. So they'll for example turn to alcohol or they'll just go over eat A lot of Eaters the emotional eaters and that means that they tend to eat when they have emotional wounds or drinkers dry and numb their emotional pain by drinking or using other kinds of substances. So that happens as well and then the other category is that there are certain times that we tryin. Do the thing that we think will help us. And in fact we're making things worse so for example if we have an emotional wound got rejected. And we just can't get that conversation with the person out of our mind that break up conversation but it's been two months already and we're still talking about it with all our friends still replaying and online we're still trying to figure out the nuances of what they said and how they meant it and maybe what we're doing there's what actually the wounds because when we're brooding like that we're actually making things worse. We're making it more likely to think about that. For it to come unbidden into our minds and to sour mood while it does. We're looking at more likely for us to be upset and angry each time we think about it and making it harder for us to stop that thought because it's just like a broken record and we're making it hard to stop the broken record so there are certain things that we can do that actually harmful and so that that's why it's really important to know what are the things that are good to do for. What kind of situation? When is it? Good to talk when is did not when good to share and how much and when it did not can you run through just maybe one or two examples for some of the big psychological injuries to give. What people's appetite for the kinds of things? You're suggesting yes so. For example with I was speaking about brooding and ruminating and doing and so. I said that you know that is a problem because the the problem with doing that is it doesn't afford US new insights. Just replaying the same painful thing over and over again and it's almost addictive in the sense that will feel even more compelled to think about. It'll pop into our minds even more and it's a cycle you have to stop and you can't just not think about something because that doesn't work we can tell us. I'm not gonNA think about it with more. What we can do then is understand that the cycle is not helpful and really try and distract ourselves by thinking about something else each time the idea of course also at in our head and to do that we have to think about something compelling that makes us need to concentrate because it's just a light thought won't be sufficient so when the thought pops into a head that would try not to think about we can trying for example. Remember the order of songs in a playlist Hypo. Remember the order of books on a shelf for try and recollect the words to a song. We haven't heard for a wild. That kind of concentration will force our mind of the brooding. Thought that we're going through. And if we do that each time than the urge to think about it will reduce the upset we feel about it will reduce and over time. We'll be able to like stop thinking about those days because there's no good that's coming from just dwelling on something that's painful and we can't do anything about is one example perfect speaking with Guy Winch. He is a psychologist and author of the book. Emotional first aid at Lexus. Service isn't just a department. It's a voice on the other end of the phone a note to say you're on our mind a willingness to come to you the world and how we interact with each other is changing but that will never change who we are at Lexus. Now more than ever you your needs come first find out what service options are available in your area at Lexus. Dot Com forward slash people? I click the banner to discover more at macys. We know that even small things can make a difference right now. That's why we're offering thirty percent off. Regular sailing clearance prices and fifteen percent off beauty at macys. Dot Com just a little something to brighten your day. Plus you can find mom the perfect gift for mother's Day like her favorite fragrance fine jewelry and so much more send it right to her door with free shipping on orders of twenty five dollars or more give Mama gift. She'll love today at macys. Dot Com. Some exclusions may apply see. Macys DOT COM FOR DETAILS. So guy what about that that feeling of failure you know when something goes wrong and you've just everyone knows what. I'm talking about that that feeling of failure that that happens when you fail. It's horrible well. The thing about failure that really impacts in ways. We're not aware of. Is that when we failed at something it changes perceptions it distorts our perceptions of the thing. We failed at such that. We tend to see that goal as more difficult to achieve than it actually is and we tend to see a skill set and our abilities as more efficient than they actually are literally in a distorted way not in an accurate way and we also tend to feel more helpless about being able to achieve the goal. Because we just failed it and that changes our perceptions because we are then less likely to realize options that we have ways in which we're not helpless and we're likely to focus on all the ways in which we are so we'll think about there's nothing I can do about. Abc and will not think about all the things we can do about F G Etcetera Etcetera. So one of the things we have to do. And we failed to realize that there are these distortions and try and focus even by making lists of. What are the variables? Tackle THAT AGAIN. That are in our control and things like preparation and effort and getting more information Are Always in Arkansas. There always things that we can do differently or better. So it's really important to try and neglect. What's not in our control to really focus on what is in our control and to really figure out what we need to learn from what we why. We failed so that we can fix that for next time. You know listening to you explain. This is so fascinating because as you said at the very beginning when we're physically injured we don't ignore it and yet this stuff is so common for so ver everybody and yet for the most part we just try to shake it off get through it let time pass whatever and never really address it and the other shame about that which I completely agree but the other thing. I think that that is a shame to me. At least one of the things I hope will happen with. This book is that these are skill sets and these approaches. We can teach children because children know from a very young age that they have to brush their teeth so they don't get a cavity and they have to put a band aid on the wound so it doesn't get infected and it's actually empowering for kids when they go and they put the band they don- they feel like oh. I treated myself. But if we could teach these techniques to children and they're all techniques we can and should teach the children as well then we'll be raising a generation of kids that feel much more empowered to deal with emotional hurdles when they when they encountered them as they will throughout their lives and so. I think there are lots of opportunities here for really change mindset about these emotional kinds of experiences so we feel much more able to tackle them and much better knowing what to do rather than turning to alcohol or ignoring them. You do wonder why the kind of dysfunctional responses to these things are so similar person to person so common if they may be evolutionary early. Serve some purpose. That now is not serve. Well actually I mean with physical injuries. The same was true and we didn't have the knowledge for example and I'm going back away here but when when the bubonic plague hit Europe what people would do close all the windows to not let the play again because it didn't understand that these germs that they were actually containing and making them more likely to spread by closing the windows? They should have opened the windows not closed them. And so when we don't have the information when we don't know what the right thing is we're likely to do the wrong thing and unfortunately when it comes to our emotions we're getting a little bit better but very very slowly. We still don't know the right things to do. We still don't know what we should do versus what we shouldn't and that's knowledge. We should really get out there because we know much much more now about the right in the wrong on how to handle things and and how to administer emotional first aid. We just don't have a great way of disseminating it we. It's not in popular culture yet at and it really needs to be well as you said in the beginning you. We don't hesitate to treat physical injuries but emotional injuries. We kind of ignore in kind of thing. They'll go away on their own when clearly. That's not always the case guy wind has been my guest. The name of his book is emotional. First Aid and you will find a link to that book in the show notes for this episode here. Napa we salute the frontliners. Going the extra mile to get us through these uncertain times. You remind us of what really keeps this country moving forward and it's not just parts and tools it's people and Napa. Our people are proud to be part of your community so if your vehicle experiences a bump in the road just call your locally owned NAPA auto parts auto care or visit. Napa online dot com because Napa knows how to safely support our communities. The backyard is back a place to get a breath of fresh air and get together with the family. The Home Depot is here to help you create the backyard. You've always wanted with premium low maintenance composite decking and fencing for brands like tricks. Fibroid timber tech and Verandah and hundreds of other options to bring your backyard back to life this year order online. And we're on it. The Home Depot. How doers get more done. Us only restrictions apply. Are you the trustworthy type? Two people generally trust you. It's important because well so much of our personal and professional success is based on trust our ability to trust others and their ability to trust us. So how do you use trust? How does the whole trust thing work? David Horse Hogger is a consultant and speaker who has spent a lot of time looking at the subject of trust. His book is called the trust edge. Welcome David and so. Let's define our terms here. What is trust? How do you define the term I defined trust to the competent belief in so if I confidently believe in you if I confidently believe in Mike? Time GOES DOWN COSTS. Go Down Skepticism goes down. All these positives happened when I can confidently believe in you and I can confidently believe in that you when you say that you mean it. I can constantly believe in that product can competent believing that person I can believe in that process. Everything changes you know. So whether you're a a mom at home in running your family or your running you know huge fortune. One hundred company when trust goes up output morale retention productivity innovation loyalty all go up cost problems skepticism attrition time and stress all go down so when when trust goes up in a relationship with your with your spouse all those things happen you know cost actually go down. Time stress goes down when When it happens in a big company or a nonprofit or a friendship same thing so the idea then is to get people to trust you right and by being most trustworthy of course the most deceptive person is the one that photo builds. Fo- trust you know that in fact acts trustworthy here. She is not so in overtime. And that's always found out. Okay so so. How do you build trust? How do you convey trust? And how do you get trust and our some people just you know? Some people are just more trustworthy than others. Some are more trustworthy than others. You know that gets to one of the pillars that commitment pillar look. We have a real problem in America. You know with with commitment look ninety percent. Last Research I heard is ninety percent of the people that make a commitment to themselves on New Year's day New Year's resolution. Don't keep it for three weeks. What does that mean that means people lose trust in themselves? You heard the idea. Love your neighbor as yourself. If you don't love yourself you have a hard time loving others and that's the same with trust you. Don't trust yourself out of her time trusting others and people don't trust themselves. I'll I'll be because they make don't keep commitments so It starts there. You know you have a real problem. If you don't make so many commitments only make one absolutely keep. Don't tell your kids. You'll be there if you won't be there absolutely of course then we can talk also from there about rebuilding trust because we've all made a mistake. And we've all had to rebuild. Trust but really the only way to rebuild. Trust in fact. It's not you know. apologizing the way to rebuild trust. Yes it might start with a sincere apology but it's making and keeping commitments. That's the only way to really rebuild it so don't promise what you're not going to do absolutely don't flake out Let me first of all when you think about the the cost of trust. Just just thinking about this for a moment you. Many people think it's just kind of a soft idea if you think that. Think about Tiger Woods one breach of trust or twenty seven of trust and he lost millions in weeks hundreds of millions by. Now your credit score with the lender. If you own your own home is really trustworthy. More your trusted the lender the less you pay even terms of a friend or your son. Or daughter or your. You know your your spouse the worry and the stress that happens when you don't have trust so my big focus is on becoming trust worthy. How do you build it? I mean it's very fascinating some of this. You might have heard that. Of course that makes sense of these pillars but some of it was a little surprising and one of those surprising pieces was how important it was to have all eight pillars so the clarity pillar for instance people trust the clear and they mistrust distrust the ambiguous with compassion pillar. It's speaks to the idea that we trust those that put faith beyond themselves faith in others faith faith in those that care be on themselves. The character pillar you know. I might trust you Mike because of your high character but I might not trust you to give me a root canal so You've got to have competency at that so there's competency pillar there's the commitment pillar there's the connection pillar this idea that we trust those that are willing to collaborate and connect there's the contribution pillar which speaks to the idea that at the end of the day contributed. I need someone who gives me results. Might have a lot of compassion. Might have a lot of character but if she does not give me the results I asked for expected. I won't trust her on the other hand some sales people. I know they give a lot of results but they don't have a compassionate or character and over time I will not trust them either so you need all eight. This final pillar then is consistency. And that's the King of the pillars. We trust those that are consistent with the same every time someone who's a brilliant brilliant idea. That's fun but we don't trust them until they're consistent and by the way we can trust for good or bad. You're late all the time. I'll trust you to be late. You know I trust you at what you do repeatedly when I'm in the room and out of the room. Whatever you're consistent at I really. I trust the ideas to be be clear BE COMPASSIONATE HIGH CHARACTER. Competent committed the connector. You know a able to connect and collaborate with others and be a contributor and finally be consistent. Those are the things that you'll be trusted at is trust a two way street in my more likely to trust you if I feel like you trust me. There is a an interesting Paradox you give and get kind of peeling back the onion but the key. I think a lot of people want to jump to. How much other should how much you know that person has earned or lost trust? And they've gotta start with themselves. You've gotTA start. I've gotTA start by being trustworthy and we have such a difficult time in America looking at ourselves. You know whether to elections or People WE WORK WITH. We are such an increasingly critical cultural of everybody else. And we have grace often with ourselves and so There is a two way street that that we learn to trust and they give trust managers that extend trust. We tend to step up toward now. Some people don't generally when we find manager. Who EXTENDS MORE TRUST PEOPLE? Stand up you know. Step up to it. Kids often that we extend the right kind of trust with discernment. They tend to step up and be better. Better kids you know. So yes. There's there's certainly an interplay there with how much you extend trust. And then you get more trusting extend more trust each other and it it certainly happens it is it is like that but I would start by thinking not just how much I can trust that person or not but how much can I am. I I am the most trusted consistent high character and all those things then I tend to you know have more trust extended to me and it goes deeper and last longer so David when it comes to trust I mean there's one indiscretion ruin everything you could be. You know trustworthy nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine times but one time you overslept. It's an interesting. That's a very interesting notion. You know trust is like a forest if you think of the sequoias out in In California took you know Scientists say they took twenty two hundred years to grow and a touch of carelessness by a camper with a match can burn the whole thing down a fraction of the time at look took to build in one way that's similar to trust in that. It takes a long time to grow to earn and yet touch of carelessness. And you can lose the whole thing. That is true. Basically with a character breach so you think of a Tiger Woods Someone with their spouse a character breach of trust. It is hard to regain. It can happen. Yeah have to You have to make and keep commitments. I think that overslept one time in nine hundred ninety nine there will be you'll you'll be given the benefit of the doubt because you've been so so. The point is beacons. Then yes if you make a mistake like we all do. It'll be overlooked. If it's a character breach people find out that breach. And that's very very difficult to overcome and forgive. Why do you think in May? Maybe my premise is wrong. But I think that most people understand what a commitment is that. If they say they're gonNA do something they should do it and yet the world is full of flaky. People who say you know yes. I'll be there when they're not or I'll be on time when they're late in. You know what's going on there. I mean do you think it's just a character flaw? That they just don't I mean what? What is that? Well you know. I'll tell you what some people don't they just don't think about their commitment. There's people they just say they'll do things to get their way. I have the last guy that sold me a car. Said he would be at. We had a very big a fabulous book opening. Oh Yeah I'll be at this. Never said a word about it and didn't come. He said he would be there and I thought he would be there but he never even never said we had three Olympians there. And all these Hall Hall of famers in the world series champion amazing event. But I just thought about that efforts. They pay you know. He said the right things to get the car sold and And Not that. That was what sold it but it was interesting. He made this commitment. And I remember because there's just a couple of days before and they didn't show up and say a word about it. It's so common For people to do it to themselves. I make a new year's resolution without counting the cost and then in two or three weeks. They just give themselves grace. There's this reason of. There's that reason but they don't think about much on themselves and then they they don't trust others as much It's an interesting question. Though because many many many people are making commitments. I think without counting the costs without thinking about really am I gonNa really stick with this or I'm just GonNa say it's so easy to say but to really do you might get attention. You might think that would help. There's another you know this other philosophy. That's a little bit sickening and kind of psychology and motivational speaking. That is if you speak. You are it. You know this whole There is some power intent and there is power in words but to say You know the way people sometimes even teach to set goals. I am a millionaire. I am a millionaire. I am a millionaire. When you're not a millionaire and I don't. I don't think that's the right way to go. I don't it's not honest. It's not true and so people will say these things as if that's the thing could happen and You know the and they'll make intentions. They'll have a slight intention that they'll be at this event or a slight possibility that they'll do this thing but they don't stick with their commitment to do it because they have not counted the cost of what that really means to fulfil. They just say things like that all the time and I think one thing leads to the other. It's a slippery slope and people start to have the habit of saying lots of things and making very low commitments. Look at our politicians. I mean look at a lot of different people that we have low trust in and it comes back to people say things they don't really maybe even intend fully. At least they haven't counted the cost of fully completing that action and car salesman doesn't care except the next time you go buy a car. Guess who you're not buying a car. I'm not going to him. In fact there are several things. So that's that's just one of three things that he did and I thought you know he lost sales and the thing with me is I talked to ten thousand people Tens of thousands sometimes a month in my speaking and these are the examples I use and he's going to be an example Of Low Trust for several reasons actually but he the problem is if it were I see trust like the Caribou coffee companies of the world and Certain companies. Then they talk about it where where I see low trust over time and I give grace to but where I see low trust over time I talk about that and they have no idea how many tens of thousands of people I might you know they might be affecting when they treat me so terribly but right. It's the way it goes. So lastly overall where do you start when you know nothing are people generally trustworthy? Do you think or or do you start with being untrusting until someone proves themselves otherwise. Well I'd like to start with trusting until they prove you otherwise but you have to as I say in the chapter on this you know. How much should you trust them when you have to do even that with discernment so I like to extend more trust? Obviously we're risk is lower. When I'm dealing with health care situations or compliance issues. We have to be a little slower and watch how much that person can be trusted. Because we're dealing with possibly countless lives on the other hand many people Are So worried about the impact of something so they don't trust someone. Don't see the best in people and they don't extend trust when in fact the cost if that person wasn't trusted wouldn't be so so big as they think it would be and And more importantly than even that whole question I think but I want people and organizations and brands and and families to think of how can I be most trusted because when I most trusted in spite of what everybody else is that car salesman or that politician or that family or friend most trusted I'm most successful in every way even an even all the ways of being successful outside of money I am the most influential have the greatest impact generally have the greatest impact income in my sector when I Most trusted when I have what we call the trust edge. So that's where I really want to get people to focus on personally reading most trusted and I think I think I can trust that. I've been speaking with David Horse. Hogger he is a consultant and speaker and the name of his book is the trust edge. Men are notorious for making some pretty big fashion mistakes which women are quick to often point out and whether it's because men don't know any better or they don't care here are according to Esquire magazine. Some fashion mistakes that men commonly make and really need to stop making I believing tight. Close Suck everything. In as a matter of fact they don't wearing pleasure instead of leather pleasure. Is that cheap substitute for leather. That is most commonly made from polyurethane. And unless you're allergic to leather for some reason or you're a Vegan you really should not be wearing leather plus pleasure. Plus Platter is flammable wearing black shirts. Black cotton mix shirts as a rule should not be worn primarily because they discolor incredibly quickly around the collar and the cuffs wearing skinny ties. The reign of the tiny tie ended a few years back wearing clothes designed for a sport. When you're not actually doing that sport so tracksuits Lycra tight. Lycra T shirts. Soccer shirts are not everyday wear wearing anything shiny. Other than your shoes or a belt shiny fabrics are a big mistake according to Esquire magazine. And that is something you should know. That's the podcast today. I'm Mike carruthers. Thanks for listening to something you should know.

Mike carruthers Napa macys Of Low Trust Guy Winch Lexus California David Esquire magazine consultant America GEICO salesman US Intel Diy Paul Home Depot
Understanding the Science and Mysteries of the Universe & How to Create a Powerful Apology

Something You Should Know

42:22 min | 2 months ago

Understanding the Science and Mysteries of the Universe & How to Create a Powerful Apology

"Today on something you should know some simple ways to be healthier that only take a minute. Then a scientific look at the universe, and what are the chances? There are other planets that could support intelligent light. We estimate that in our Milky Way Galaxy, the number of earth like planets around Sun, like stars with just the white orbits in other words, potential homes for life. Somewhere around five billion God also, why does the snooze on your alarm clock? Give you nine more minutes of sleep, but not ten and the importance of a good apology across the millennia religious traditions around the world embody different ways for people to face and atone for what they do wrong. It's like a basic human universal need to address the thing and when John. You feel bad all this today on something you should know. something. Fascinating Intel world's top. And practical advice, you can use in your life today. Something should now Mike carruthers. I. Welcomed the somethingyoushouldknow? You hear a lot of advice today about what you should do to be healthy, and frankly a lot of it sounds like a lot of work to hear some ways to be healthy that don't require a lot of work. In fact, they only take a minute first of all dry brush your teeth before squeezing toothpaste onto the brush, take thirty seconds to brush your teeth with a dried toothbrush. Doing so cuts tartar by sixty percent and reduces the risk of bleeding gums by half. Energize for less coffee isn't the only drink that'll boost your energy late in the day club soda with Lime will do wonders. The carbonation and the aroma of the lime will energize you. Slice thin eat less slicing food. Will make your portion seem bigger and more satisfying in a study at Japan's national food. Research Institute. Participants? Compared equal amounts of sliced and hold vegetables rated the sliced piles up to twenty seven percent larger. When you believe you're eating a larger portion of food, you trick yourself into feeling more satisfied with fewer calories. Get to sleep faster instead of counting sheep to fall asleep. Just wear socks. Swiss researchers found that people fell asleep quickest when their hands and feet were warmest. Show, some gratitude studies have shown that ninety percent of people say expressing gratitude made them happier people, and more than seventy five percent, said it reduce stress and depression and gave them more energy. And? Try some fresh flowers in the morning looking at a vase of fresh daisies, tulips, roses, or other cut flowers while eating breakfast can improve your mood. Research from Harvard shows that even people who say they're not morning, people report feeling happier and more energetic after looking at fresh cut flowers first thing in the morning, and that is something you should know. Two of my favorite topics are time and space. I mean just looking up at the night sky and contemplating the fastness of space. And trying to get a handle on what time actually is is time travel possible? We can travel in space, but we can't travel in time except we can go into the future because that's what we're doing all the time. There are fascinating questions about time and space, and here to discuss them is Paul. Sutter Paul is an astrophysicist at Stony. Brook University he hosts the asks Baseman PODCAST and author of the book how to die in Space Hey Paul, so let let's just dive in here. What is time? What is time? I don't know and nobody knows. And that's kind of the problem a with time, and it's funny that you mentioned that you were fascinated by time. Just about everybody is fascinated by time and physicists are fascinated by time and fizz's have been trying to understand the nature of time for a a very long time, and we do know some things about time. Even though we haven't cracked the whole thing, we know a couple things we've learned one. One or two things, one of the things we've learned is through Einstein's special theory of relativity that space and time are intimately connected. In fact, you can't think of movement through space or measurement in space aside or separate from movement in time or separations. In time you have to think of them as a unified framework something we call space time. This is the four dimensional fabric of our entire universe, so we know there's a connection there. But we also know that time is still a little bit special. In different from our three spatial dimensions in space. You can move in any direction you want. You can go left or right. You can go up or down. You can go forward or backward. It doesn't matter but time you can only go into the future we cannot as far as we can tell travel into our own passed. It seems from everything we can observe that time is unit directional. It can only go into the future. And why is that different? Wise time so special wide? Is Time have that property? Deeds me it's driving us nuts well, and you can only go into the future. At one pace. You can't speed up or go slow. You can only go. At the same pace as everybody else. Actually. You can change the rate of progression into your own future. You are allowed to skip forward into the future and we get the this again from Einstein. Special Theory of relativity, which tells us that tells us that space and time are connected. And through relativity, we learn that the faster you go in space, the slower you move in time, so if you start moving faster and faster and faster, if you start running, or you get in a rocket ship or you hitch a ride on a nearby comet, the closer you get to the speed of light, the faster you're moving in time, you will feel totally normal the flow of time in on your wrist watching your heartbeat of the rhythms of day. All that is exactly the same, but from the outside universe looking in it looks like. Like, you're moving in slow motion, and it's this difference that makes relativity, the theory of relativity measurements of space and time Har-, relative to the Observer, so it is totally possible. One hundred percent allowed by physics and something. We have measured experimentally verified that if you're gonNA, go fast, so you were go up to ninety nine percent of the speed of light, and you were to cruise around like air for twenty years, or so you would come back to Earth, and it could be a fouls in years into the future, and that is totally legit. It's clear though that you can't travel back in time because you know as the saying goes. If if time travel was possible, where are all the people from the future that if you could travel back in time, people from the future would be traveling back here to tell us how to do it and we. We don't see those people right right, so you can skip forward into the future you can affect the rate of the flow of passage of time into the future, but you can't stop the flow of time, and you can't turn around the flow of time time. Travel into the future is a okay happens all the time. Time travel into the past appears to be forbidden in one of the examples is Yeah, if time into the passes allowed? Where are all the future people coming to visit? That doesn't seem to be happening. There are also other issues with time travel into the past like the whole grandfather paradox, saying like if you go back in time and shoot your grandfather before he has your father then you aren't alive. Your never born. So how did you become alive in order to go back in time to shoot your grandfather, you set up. A paradox. Paradox only exists if time travel into the past is allowed, but. All that was explained in back to the future that go back in time and change the future from that point in time. You create an alternate universe and doc. Brown. Doc Brown explained that. Doc Brown is not exactly a respected member of the six or scientific communities, and in his word should be taken with a grain of salt. I'm not sure what he's a doctor of exactly. They, don't specify specify. He's just a doctor and I remember hearing someone say in. It always stuck with me. That science has no. Special, designation or explanation or definition for now now is not anything special. What we call now is what in relativity we call in event in event is a specific point in both space and time, so if I were to meet you for coffee tomorrow at four PM at this coffee shop, there would be an event attached to the moment of our meeting in the location of our meeting. It is this moment in time and it is this location in space it is our coordinate in space time, and that is the now in physics, and now it's gone. And now it's gone. Time is always moving forwards and it doesn't stop. We don't. Really understand why it moves forward, but not backwards we have concocted over the years various attempts at time, machines or various contraptions, various ideas various theories of how to travel back in time. But every time we do every time we concoct some. Device or physical scenario that would permit travel into the past. There is some rule or SOM- law physics, or some understanding the way things works that prevents it, but it's a different thing every time that prevents that full. The ability to travel back in time. And, so we don't have what we're lacking in physics. What really bugs us is an overarching fundamental explanation for why time always flows forward is no equation we can point to. There's nothing we can print not shirt. There's nothing we can write articles about that says Oh. This is the reason this is the fundamental physics reason why physics by time cannot flow backwards. Adjust, doesn't but we're not exactly sure why. We're talking about space and time in the universe and we're talking about that. With Paul Sutter. He's an astrophysicist at Stony Brook University. He hosts the ask space ban PODCAST and he's author of the book how to die in space. I am happy to tell you that stroke of genius is back for Season Three the IPO education foundation. PODCAST is a show about intellectual property. Yeah, but it's as far from a patent contract or a law textbook as you can get. It's really interesting. Each episode tells a different story in the world of intellectual property from the Harry Potter copyrights to Syracuse University Trademarks. The series is filled with cool interviews with green entrepreneurs and forward thinking scientists and the business people who are genuinely interested in leaving something good behind. Plus each episode is only thirty minutes or less. It's a great listen, so subscribe and check it out on. E. F. DOT ORG or on apple podcasts or by searching stroke of genius wherever you get your podcasts. So Paul. When you look at space, travel, and particularly if you look at fictional space, travel star Trek Star Wars. There's a lot of intergalactic travel. There's a lot of interplanetary travel. And yet when you look at the science I mean the universe is so big. Galaxies are so big that even at the speed of light. It would seem hard to be able to do a whole lot of traveling and go a whole lot of places in outer space. Just because it is so big, and you can only go so fast. Yes, space travel that you see in the movies is tough to replicate in the real world interplanetary travel. I mean we do that on the regular. Anyway not with people, but with robots, which is the next best thing so traveling within our solar system is just fine, but our missions to the outer planets. Take years like new horizons that swing by Pluto, back in twenty sixteen. That mission took nine and a half years to reach Pluto, and that was just one member in our solar system. That Same Space Craft is currently cruising at about thirty six thousand miles per hour, which is kind of fast, but if in his pointed in the direction of any particular star if it were pointed to our next nearest neighbor Proximus Tori. Proxima Centauri sits about four light years away. New Horizons traveling at thirty six thousand miles per hour would take up about forty thousand years to reach Proxima Centauri, and that is one of our fastest spacecraft ever. If you really want interstellar travel, you have to get up to significant fractions of the speed of light and getting a big spaceship or rocket or pro space rover anything up to that kind of speed is just so far beyond our technical abilities. It's not impossible. But. It's not happening in our lifetimes just as you cannot travel back in time. Is it also true that you cannot? There's no way from what we know that you can travel faster than the speed of light. Yep, that's not a thing. And I know every time I say no. We can't travel faster than the speed of light. They say well. We used to think you couldn't travel faster than the speed of sound and we were wrong about that. dispeat- of sound things. Some people were worried about US traveling faster than the speed of sound. That, it was impossible, but that we didn't have the materials. The engineering withstand the turbulence enforces that you would encounter when traveling faster than the speed of sound. The speed of light is different. This is not an engineering issue. This is not a material science issue. This is not A. Or ingenuity issue, this is a rule that is baked into the very fabric of the universe that whole space time thing that will connection between space time is enabled through the finite -ness of the speed of light, and the inability of objects to go faster than it. We have measured this. We have tested this. Countless Times. Over the past hundred years since we first coked up this whole relativity business. and. If you want a universe, where travel faster than the speed of light is possible, we would have to re write almost everything we know about fundamental physics, which is not impossible. It's happened before, but you've got a long long way to go. You've got a lot of work to do to show how it's possible on our universe, because everything we've seen for one hundred years has pointed to the fact that we can't go faster than the speed of light. So aliens. What are the chances that they're out there? And what are the chances that will ever have cocktails with them? Aliens are fine so. Here, we are on the earth. The Earth is has a liquid water, oceans and ice thick atmosphere. Strong magnetic field is just the right distance from our Star A. We got plenty of life going on here on the earth. It's big universe. Our Own Milky Way Galaxy is home to three hundred billion stars in there are about two trillion galaxies in the observable universe, so if life happened here. With this set of conditions it's likely that this set of conditions is replicated other places in the universe we estimate we have very rough estimate, so take this number with a huge grain of salt a, but we estimate that in our Milky Way Galaxy, the number of earth like planets around Sun like stars with just the right orbits in other words, potential homes for life that we would recognize is somewhere around five billion. There might be five billion copies of the earth out there in our own galaxy. Let alone the two trillion galaxies in the universe. That said. Life is incredibly rare. We have absolutely no evidence for life outside the Earth we have absolutely no signals that we've received. We see no signs of intelligence or life in any of our surveys. We've done a lot of surveys on this. If life were common. We would have picked it up by now. But we simply haven't so. We know that life is rare, but we also know that it's a big universe, my best gases. My intuition is telling me that life is relatively common. That our galaxy is probably home to other intelligence. We. She's that we're probably not alone. But the fastness of interstellar space prevents us from ever visiting or ever contacting, probably even ever talking to each other, the universe is gigantic the spaces between stars. The lengths of galaxies are so incredibly vast they are literally beyond human comprehension, and we just can't even wrap our minds around. The kinds of distances were talking about so even though I think we are probably not alone in the universe, we are effectively alone in the universe. What are the things that you studied? In all the years that you've studied it one or two things that just jump out at you as being just so darn cool. One of the coolest things I've studied over the past few years. Is Something called Cosmic Voids? These are large empty regions in the cosmos. This is when you look at the cosmos. Universe at the very largest gales of the gallic season. Our universe aren't scattered around randomly. There ranged in this beautiful and complex, a cobweb shape, a cobweb pattern, and it's called the cosmic web and like any cobweb there's the lines, and but then there's also the gaps, the big empty regions and I focused a lot on absolutely nothing I wrote papers, many pavers on the properties of absolutely nothing using them to try to understand the growth in evolution and history of our universe. But just when I sit back and think about the scales involved like when we do a galaxy survey, and we map out the cosmic voids, and we start studying them and measuring them in their properties. Realizing that I am studying structure that is eighty million light years wide, and it is absolutely devoid of matter. That is just a mind boggling to me in how those things grew up in evolved in what they can tell us about the universe. Really really gets my motor going and so talk about this whole concept of how the universe is expanding, because if it's expanding, what's it expanding into those kind of big? Those big universe questions. Our University is getting bigger every single day. We live in an expanding universe. We live in an expanding universe. Our universe has no edge. It has no center. It is not expanding from anything in his not expanding into anything It simply is our university exists. Because if our universe was expanding into something, then that's something would-be a thing and that would be counted as part of the universe, because the universe is by definition all the things. So, you can have all the things and then plus a mother stuff that we didn't include. The Universe is not expanding into anything has no boundary has no edge. It has no center. The distances between galaxies grows with time. That's what we mean. When we say, we live in an expanding universe. The average distance between all galaxies grows with time. If that's hard to conceptualize of. That's hard to wrap your mind around. Like. How can something beginning bigger without a expanding into anything? Well, this is one of the wonderful parts of mathematics and why we use mathematics and physics is because the mathematics that describes an expanding universe are perfectly clear, perfectly coherent, perfectly able to describe the history and present state of the. The Universe in compared with observations, so we know we're on the right track in mathematics is a tool that lets us do things. Let's grapple with concepts and understand. com says that we couldn't just imagine on our own. So with the tool with the power of mathematics, we can learn that we live in an expanding universe that is not expanding into anything. I always enjoy these kinds of conversations with people who know what they're talking about because it makes you think differently, it makes you try to grasp concepts that are pretty difficult to grasp, but. It's all so fascinating Paul Sutter has been my guest. Paul is an astrophysicist. It's Stony Brook. Is podcast is called. Ask Space Man, and he is also author of the book how to die in space, and there's a link to was podcast and to his book in the show notes. Thank you Paul. I, thank you so much. It's hard to get too far in life without having to make an apology to someone things happen. We make mistakes. We do dumb things. People get hurt and so we need to apologize. Apologies are important, so what makes a good apology? What is the goal of an apology? What if what if the person you need to or want to apologize to doesn't want to hear from you. These are questions that Molly House has looked into. She is a Harvard, trained clinical psychologist and author of the book, a good apology for steps to make things right. I'm Ali I'm I'm glad to be here, so it might come as a surprise to some people that were even talking about this because. On the surface, anyway, apologies! Are So, self evident I. Mean You do something wrong? You say you're sorry. And life goes on. Well for little things that might work fine. But in my experience. I don't apologize many times when they should even when they think they should. The apologies that we witness in the public arena are often grossly inadequate. Everybody can tell that they're not working and mostly I think that's because we don't know how. So what's a good apology? Look like you I. Know You have four steps to a good apology, so? Quickly, what are they? Okay the step. To learn and understand what happened to the other person. What's the impact on them? What is the hurt feeling that they have? And what caused it? Nothing about you during the step matters doesn't matter. How Nice a person you are what your intentions were. It only matters about the impact on the other person, so you gotta learn that first then the second step is to make a statement of regret and responsibility. It's it's owning it. It's acknowledging the behavior even if you didn't mean it and that it had an effect on the other person that hurt them. The that's what we usually think of as an apology. In my view, you need all four steps, but that's what we usually think of as an apology, the third step is making restitution making up for the hurt or the harm. Whatever it is, you cost someone else. In the law that's usually financial making someone whole returning them to their previous financial situation in relationships. It's more likely to be. A do over or somebody. restitution. The fourth step. is to make sure that the hurt won't be repeated. It's the setup conditions that are different from the ones that produced the original hurt. What if you do something? that. Hurt somebody's feelings or Something happens where they feel bad and think you should apologise. But you don't necessarily think what you did was wrong you were. Just, being honest or you were just you know. Where an apology might seem appropriate from the victim, but you don't think you one. I would argue that you can regret the fact that you hurt someone whether or not you intended it. It's not really a question of blame. It's a question of caring. I'm sure we've all we all know people who may be a little too sensitive and get hurt and way too much. You know it'd be a big waste of time to keep apologizing for every little thing. It could be I mean sometimes. People keep needing an apology because they didn't get a good one yet. It does take two people to make an apology, and there are times I'm sure we've all had where you may be done. Something wrong and the other person doesn't want your apology. They don't want to hear from you again. They they don't WanNa. Talk about it anymore. They don't want to apologize in here. The four steps about restitution and all that they just want to you know. Leave me alone. Right well if there's not an ongoing relationship. It not be worth pushing at all right because it doesn't matter if it doesn't matter to the other person enough to have the conversation. That's okay in my view when you approach someone to make an apology, it's a request. It's requests for conversation. It's not a demand. It's also. It's not a demand for forgiveness either. In a lot of cases, making an apology is very difficult. It's hard to do so. What are the benefits of doing it if you're going to have to go through all this work and discomfort? What's the point? What's the benefit of doing it? There are enormous benefits you know. If something goes wrong relationship, and the two of you can fix it. Then you know more about each other. And you feel closer to each other and you have more confidence going forward that you can handle something else that comes up. You're stronger. You have something called relationship esteem. You know like self-esteem only about your relationship. You feel better about you as a couple that you can handle things. In medicine and apology has a very powerful effect and that. Patients and their families feel better. Doctors feel better. There's the potential for less malpractice. Suit fewer malpractice suits. In medicine you give me an example like for medical error. The old standard used to be the the medical system sort closed ranks and never apologized, and they were afraid that there'd be more malpractice suits. But, that's not the way it goes. It's the harm done to someone that they love or themselves is recognized and spoken. They feel acknowledged as opposed to kind of shut out and then they want. a kind of healing rather then revenge. I always figure, too. If somebody if somebody apologizes it, it makes them less the enemy. That's there. That that that the tension is is relieved a little bit that they they're trying to. They're trying to make amends with. They're trying to see it from my point of view and be empathetic. Somehow the the the the conflict diminishes. I think that it's profound. Interesting thing to me about apologies is. If it does so much good. Why is it so hard? Oh that's a great question. That's the big question. One reason is that our brains are wired not to see our mistakes. For all kinds of reasons, I mean perceptually. We actually literally do not see them. We're subject to optical illusions of all sorts. And our own mistakes are things that we tend not to see. It's inefficient for our brains. The neuroscientists tell us a rains, WANNA be efficient, and it's inefficient to notice mistaken have to go back and correct it. Another. Reason is that our culture is set up to. Support kind of. Confident certain, moving forward powerful independent kind of person. which is kind of a male model, but not only. and. Those people are not really focused on connections with other people much less to other people. It's not part of story. It's a sign of weakness. It's considered a sign of weakness. If you admit that you did something wrong or made a mistake or WanNa make up for something right? You're supposed to be confident and on top of it and unflustered to make a good apology requires. I think courage, but it also requires a certain kind of humble approach. You know curiosity openness, and that's not that dominant model. That, some of our leaders have. Another reason is when we already talked about which is that there are very few models. We don't see people doing it. We don't teach our children how to do it very well. Right when we're kids, we're taught say I'm sorry, and that's sort of like magic words, and it makes everything okay. But in fact it doesn't really work. Teach kids to say things. They don't mean they don't know for sure what it even means. and. So. So how are we supposed to know how to make things right? How are we supposed to know how to heal harm how to mend relationships when there's been a breach between people? Do you think the apology? When done well is more for the recipient or the sender? That's a great question. I think it's sort of equal I mean it's obviously about the person who was hurt right, and and you want to address their their hurt their harm. Whatever they need right. That's that's the focus of the conversation, but the apologize our benefits so enormous enormous Lee to it's just remarkable. Benefits in what way across the Millennia religious traditions around the world embodied. For people to face and atone for what they do wrong. It's like a basic human universal need to address these things and when you don't. You feel bad. What! If you have done something that has hurt someone else and you? Feel the need to apologize, but there's no interest in hearing it on the other side. Yeah, there are times when it's not the thing to do particularly if they've asked you not to. Like I don't WanNa see I. WanNa hear from you again. Then you have to honor that. What about those cases I can think of several times in my life where this has happened, so I assume other people can to where something has gone wrong. It happens with car accidents. All the time were were. Blame is assigned. Even though it doesn't really it was an accident. It was just you know to two cars in the same place at the same time. Yes, somebody was wrong, but then. They deliberately tried to do anything. When I was a kid I remember this very distinctly this. Playing with this little boy I was on the other side of the yard, and he fell down, and broke his collarbone, and I got blame for I was nowhere near, and I had to apologize and I thought well. What am I apologizing for, but but things like that happen where? An apology going to go a long way to probably ease a lot of discomfort in people, but it's so disingenuous. Yeah I. Kinda think if it's disingenuous. It's probably a bad idea. Well, little billy's mom insisted so, and it was. It made her feel better so. So you're a kid and you have to obey the grownups. That's a little different than a real apology, but. You know maybe you care about little billy and his his collarbone, and so you see you offer a condolence. I'm sorry. Maybe that's what I'm sorry means. But in a car accident you know, or even in a fight between two people, even if one person is more at fault, often both people have something that they have contributed right off and you can find something. That you regret or that. You wish you'd done differently and you can see how how it landed badly on the other person. Right even if you're not primarily at fault. And, so what happens when you apologize? And you're not forgiven. Your people are somebody, says well. You're an idiot so I you know I mean so you make the attempt. He tried to apologize you. Try to go through your four steps and you get smacked in the face. Well I think that's not so common actually, but it could happen for sure. And if that's the end of the relationship. yeah, the chalk that up to. You know no more opportunities right, but it's not usually how it goes. Usually as you said in the beginning, the other person softens because you have softened. They're not your enemy anymore because you're not their enemy anymore. Sometimes it takes more than one try also. You know serious harms and relationship take take quite a while. To work out. The apology stretched out. That doesn't doesn't mean it's not worth doing. Well! That's an interesting idea because I think people. Are, they attempt to apologize and they're turned away. What I could and and so that's the end of that. Yeah, so that's the end of that is exactly the thing. I want grace as a question in this book. The most important thing I think. In this book is. Okay. I just want to say that all over again I'm sorry Mike. You said that's the end of that right. So that's the end of that. Is an idea that I want to challenge. The most important take home message from my book is one things have gone badly between you and someone else. Even your first attempt to say I'm sorry if it's gone badly, that's not the of the story. There are still chances and possibilities to make things right. And we often settle for that the end of the story. Because we got hurt or hurt. Somebody else, or they're mad at US or whatever? You know and that's not necessarily true. It does seem, or maybe this is how people rationalize not apologizing. Is that in some cases to apologizes to stir it up again and maybe it's just better left alone. Yeah, well, that probably is true. Sometimes I tend to think otherwise though that. It's worth a try. You know if you can bring peace to someone about something. That happened a long time ago. You know why not try. I think this has come up during the pandemic. That people have a opportunity to think about their old relationships more. They sort of rework old. You know breakup or part of the way and. You know they. They start thinking about Gosh I wonder if there's something I could do to make that better. And and I think if you make an invitation to the other party, not a demand. I never tation. Is it okay with you. If you talk about what what went wrong, you know or I'd like to. I'd like to understand more. What happened for you? People can say no. So the big takeaway here is what what's your. What is it a big message that you want people to get? A couple of one is that big one about it isn't the end of the story. Just because things have gone wrong between you and someone else, it might be possible. To write the next chapter you know it might be possible to make things better and different. and another thing is You, probably don't know the whole story. Even if you're the one who who's feeling hurt, you probably don't know everything about the other person's experience. You probably know part of the story and in general you know you should speak as if you're right about things, but you should listen if you're wrong and that's the way you find out about the other ones point of view. That's interesting. Advice. Speak as if you're right about something, but listen as if you're wrong. Molly House has been my guess. She's a Harvard trained clinical psychologist, and she is author of the book, a good apology for steps to make things right, and you will find a link to that book in the show notes. Thanks for being here Mommy Oh. Thank you so much Mike as a pleasure talking to you. If. You have an alarm clock. Not How it is. The snooze button will likely give you nine more minutes of sleep. But why nine? Why not ten or why not make it programmable, so you could set the snooze to any length. Well on some modern digital devices you can set this news, but most are set to nine minutes, and it has to do with the history of the alarm clock. By the time the snooze feature was added in the nineteen fifties. The inner workings of the alarm clocks had long been. Is this meant that the teeth of the snooze gear had to Mesh with the existing configuration and that left engineers with a single choice they could set this news for either about nine minutes, or they could set it for about ten minutes, but early reports indicated that ten minutes was too long and would allow you to fall back into a deep sleep, so clockmakers decided on nine minutes instead of ten believing people would wake up easier and happier after a shorter snooze and today. Even though this news on virtually any new clock could be set to any length there still mostly set to nine minutes. Because that's what consumers expect, and that is something you should know. You know in just about the four years that we've been doing this podcast. Really the main way we have grown to the size it has grown to is word of mouth. People like you telling people they know, so. Please take a moment and share something you should know with someone you know. I'm Mike carruthers. Thanks for listening today to something you should know.

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How Probability and Chance Rule Your Life & Understanding How Motivation Really Works

Something You Should Know

48:07 min | 1 year ago

How Probability and Chance Rule Your Life & Understanding How Motivation Really Works

"Today on something you should know you probably hate asking for help but you really should and i'll tell you why then the laws of have probability affect all aspects of your life and it's critical to understand how they work for example. There is absolutely nothing in probability the theory that says you can't sit down and talk a coin could be heads could be tiled just head head head every time it could have the full ability happening is vanishingly small plus where women should really put their purse when they go to a restaurant although they almost never do and if you want to accomplish anything anything you must understand how motivation really works first of all motivation is a skill and there's three psychological needs and these three psychological ecological needs are not involved in your approach to your path. You won't succeed all this today on something. You should know something you should know is sponsored by a._d._t. When you need real protection for your home and family you want the experts at a._d._t. Not when you hear those three letters a._d._t. You think rock-solid home security and with a._d._t. You get all the latest innovation in smart home security combined with twenty four seven monitoring from the most trusted name in home security in fact a._d._t.'s the number one smart home home security provider. They have a team of professionals that will design and install a secure smart home just for you with a._d._t. You get everything everything from video doorbells indoor outdoor cameras smart locks and lights all controlled from the a._d._t. App or the sound of your voice and everything everything is custom designed to fit your home and lifestyle. They even have safety on the go in the car or when the kids are at school with the a._d._t. Go oh apple with an s._o._s. Button when it comes to real protection you need a._d._t. Somethingyoushouldknow fascinating intel the world's top experts and practical advice. You can use your life today something he should now with mike carruthers welcome to something. You should know die bright in because this this subject interest me a lot. Have you ever been reluctant. I didn't ask for help. I know i have and i'm not sure why i for fear of looking weak or stupid or incompetent. People are often afraid to ask for help or advice for fear of appearing that way but it turns out. This is so interesting. It turns out that it's it's just the opposite. A study in the journal management science found that participants rated others as more competent when they ask for help nope this was especially true when the task was difficult in general people who seek advice from others are perceived to be more or competent than those who don't and interestingly admitting that something was your fault is an effective way to build trust. Even i know people think it does just the opposite people are more attracted to people who appear human and less than perfect and that is something you you should know so much of our lives are governed by probability. Will the weather be goodwill. The traffic traffic be bad. Will you win or lose it a game. Will you get the job you applied for probability and to some degree chance play a role role in so many aspects of our lives. We want to know the future. We can't know the future but we can try to figure out the chances of something thing happening the probability and yet a lot about how probability works is misunderstood. When you understand it better you can then predict the future. You better not for certain but better here to discuss. This is ian stewart. Ian is professor emeritus of math at the university of warwick in england and he is author of the book. Do dice play god the mathematics of uncertainty. I professor. I am i you you know what's interesting to me is how people are so obsessed with an i suspect from the beginning of time trying to obsess about how to predict the future and we're so bad at it. We haven't gotten very good at it but is that kind of human nature. Do you think of wanting to know what's next not not only is it human nature but i think very good reasons why we want to know what's next which is basically certainly <hes> until terry recently your survival rather dependent upon it. There was so many things in the world you lived in predatory animals hiding behind the nearest bushel rock. Uh you were quite likely to be set upon attacked by somebody <hes> or an invading army would come through or natural disaster would suddenly certainly happen and so on the other hand if you could get some kind of handle on what was going to happen in the future even if it was imperfect then that gave you some sort of advantage and in fact even claiming to be able to do it would give some people have well but your we're field of study. Mathematics has put a bit of a harness on uncertainty to some extent and in some cases. I think that's a very good way to put putting it to some extent and in some cases but people were gambling with dice spec in roman times but they didn't entirely have today's i understanding of what's involved for example in ancient rome. We look at the dice that archaeologists dug up. They're often not very good cubes cubes. They may be a bit longer in some directions than others and that means that some numbers on those guys will come up actually more often than others. They weren't completely fair but again. Liz didn't seem to be too bothered by that and one of the theories is essentially they believe that if the gods were on their side they'd be lucky and they win and it's because weren't on this. I will tough like you know. You're in trouble anyway. <hes> but also won the gamblers themselves started to think this is not what we need to be a bit more systematic about this and the big breakthrough comes in the fourteen hundreds in renaissance italy with a wonderful a four-man could share alarm countdown know who was a brilliant agitation. I pretty good doctor and an absolute absolute rogue. He lied. He cheated he. A one point was making a living by gambling either cards or dice or chess and kodama. Oh basically worked out the some of the basic rules of probability and perhaps the most important one is one one of the ways we interpret probability. The probability of some event happening is the proportion of times it occurs if you keep trying so if i've got some thoughts dice and i roll it and i'm interested in throwing six what if it's a fair dice then in the long run one time in six that number comes up one time in six five comes up one time in six four comes up on average in the long run each number will come on six of the time and kaduna realize that you could start to do interesting calculations and understand and games of chance better workout better strategies using that kind of mathematics and it's that concept that idea of the long run on that trips people up. I think because tell me if i'm wrong but i think there's a tendency to think that if you flip a coin ten times you'll get five heads in five tails you you might but you probably won't because that's not enough flips. That's not enough of a long run for that fifty fifty fifty effect to take place and the idea that if you flip a coin and heads once that the next time it's more likely to be tails is also false because the coin doesn't know just flipped ahead the next time it still a fifty fifty chance that it'll be heads or tails. It's the long run where the fifty fifty works and i think in hopefully you'll agree that the long run is longer than most people realize. The long run can be very very long indeed. Yes <hes> it's quite subtle and there is a sense in which if you wait long enough if i'm just tossing a coin. I'm now did this one so i sent it doesn't coin for the fun of it and on one occasion. I tossed ten heads in a row. That doesn't make tells more likely to come up next next time. The coin doesn't think oh. I tossed heads too often miss do something about this. The the coin is just in object but what happens is suppose. I've tossed ten heads okay from that point on heads and tails usually he with high probability will occur roughly equal amounts so what happens is i in the next say one hundred aussies. I might get if i if exactly the case. I'll get fifty heads and fifty times so when you add in the initial ten i've now got sixty heads and fifty tiles well well. That's a lot closer to fifty fifty and ten zero. If i toast a million times and got half a million of each then you go to half a million ten and heads and half a million tiles so it's not the difference between the numbers. It's the ratio the two numbers that evens out in the long run. Usually there is absolutely nothing improbability theory that says you can't sit down and toss a coin fair. Coin could be heads could be sales and just get heads ed's. It's it's it's it's every time it could happen but the probability happening is vanishingly small so talk about chaos theory and what that is and why it's important okay chaos theory is a different kind of randomness and we were talking about rules and laws and approximate rules people used to think essentially that you got random events which which just happened the past makes no difference whatever the coin toss in the past. It's still either heads or tails and you don't want to be or you've got laws. You got things like newton's. There's laws of motion newton's law of gravity. You got mathematical equations for how the future is going to pan out given what we know about. The present chaos sits in the middle. It says it's possible to take a deterministic system governed entirely by rules and there's no random elements in the rules whatsoever and yet when you look at its behavior at first sight. It appears to be rendered. You can't just look at the numbers and say are i can tell you it's going to do in the future and more importantly still in practical terms if you have we have a real physical system them which obeys chaotic rules the rules themselves. I any tiny error in measuring the state of the system now what it's doing now we're very rapidly blow up and the slight differences in the possibilities that fit the current measurements lead to futures which is which completely different from each other in a rather random sorta way and the example. Everybody knows about this. The weather meteorologists have known for for one hundred years. The mathematical rules govern have whoever works it's to do with the flow of air it's to do with humidity the water vapor ah in the air but inherent in the nature of those equations that if you plugging very slightly different numbers describing what you think the weather is right now the future that these rules predict can be very very different depending on these tiny differences. This is the thing called the butterfly effect the butterfly cafa slapstick swing and a month gets a tool night somewhere it would seem though that the more history we have the better we would be at predicting what's going to happen. The more we know what has happened past performances no guarantee of future results but that we would have a better idea of what's going to happen and also i guess it has to do with the the number of variables the things that can't change it really depends a lot on the actual system. We're interested in so for example with tides and you can predict them years ahead with considerable accuracy. It's not straightforward. It's not just everything happens every twenty four hours and so forth <hes> the shape of coastline the depth of the water all of these matters but we understand that and it doesn't seem to be subject to the butterfly if <hes> small errors in measuring things now just disappear by doubt the future. There's a single future that is predicted. The motion of the planets hits in the solar system. We can predict with considerable accuracy for several million years however on a very very long time scale of say tens of millions or hundreds hundreds of millions of years. We can't actually future of the solar system because that has a little bit of chaos in it. It takes an enormously long time to grow who but eventually we can't do the experiment. We can only observe solar system. We've got but we can do the simulations on computers and you can see these effects happening and an infant understanding why they happen explains quite a lot about the past history of the solar system and it's likely future. We're talking about probability the and chance and my guest is ian stewart. He is author of the book. Do dice play god the mathematics of uncertainty. I'm just now now discovering babble. Do you know about babble. It's the language learning app at get you speaking anew language quickly and with confidence. It is really cool. You can choose from fourteen different languages spanish french. Italian german babble is designed to quickly. Get you speaking your new language within weeks. Babbel's teaching method speech recognition technology has been proven to be effective across multiple studies and the lessons are really convenient. They're only ten to fifteen minutes. You'll learn through interactive dialogues so you can perfect your pronunciation and accent and these lessons are lovingly created by over one hundred hundred language experts. These are real people not some translation machine. Babble is available as an app or online and your progress is sync across all all devices so go ahead be bold and learned that new language. I know you've always wanted to learn for a limited time. Something you should know listeners can go to babble dot com and get a whole year of access to babble for as low as three dollars and fifty cents a month three dollars and fifty cents to learn that language. You've always wanted to learn go to babble dot com and select your language. That's b. a. b. b. e. l. dot com babble. Speak a new language and with confidence capital. One is building a better bank one that feels nothing like a typical bank. It's why they've reimagined banking and built something completely different capital one cafes they offer checking accounts with no fees or minimums and savings accounts with one of the best savings is rates in america. This is banking reimagined with your needs in mind open an account today at any capital one location or online line in five minutes and experienced banking reimagined for yourself capital one. What's in your wallet capital one n._a. Member f._d._i._c. at the i._c. So ian can you talk about some of the fallacies a some of the things people get wrong when they're trying to predict what's going to happen and i for example you talk about. You know when people have two choices. They think you know it's a fifty fifty chance well. No it's not and those kind of things things that people could little more practical knowledge here of what might help yeah. That's a very good example. I was watching television some years ago and there was a program about <hes> where the prediction and they had somebody he wasn't meteorologists but he was heavily involved in the practical side of of making weather measurements and things like that and at some point in the program. He said well whether it rains on. It's basically fifty fifty isn't it. Nobody picked up on this and he knew he must've known it. He's not fifty fifty in the summer. It's much more likely to be driving rain. In some areas rain is much more common than others <hes>. It's not fifty fifty just because they're two choices and i think most choices alike matt yep. If i'm tossing nothing aucoin yeah. It's a fair coin. It's fifty fifty or close to fifty fifty but there is a definite logical mistake. People tend to make here which is when faced with choices and not really knowing much about them on netflix four assumption is they're equally likely it does seem it's human nature to one things or to expect things to even out that you know if things are going bad for you for a while. You think now and your dude for something good to happen or if things have been going pretty well you imagine well. Something bad's going to happen because things have been going to well. There's this sense that things even out for example coin tossing it will even out the problem is it may take an enormously long time to do so so if you keep if you've talked coin and your heads are <hes> a hundred ahead of time was the mathematics says it is absolutely certain that if you keep tossing long long enough eventually you'll get back heads and tells me that be cool. The problem is the average time for that to happen is infinitely long in light of the evidence evidence in light of what people know on very realistic practical way that odds are what they are. Probability is what it is. People still talk about what for example when they go to las vegas and they'll say you know this slot machine is really hot or that. Blackjack table is really hot right now. What do you think is going on there her yeah this is selective use of the evidence i mean what you get with any series of trials of any kind and this is actually important in things like medical trials as well <hes> by pure chance every so often you will get a run of good luck for example if i'm tossing a coin and heads heads wins and tossed ten times and we keep playing that game one time in two thousand also i will toss ten consecutive heads and the lose the probability of the patent probability actually predict that so now. There's lots of people do this. One of them has got a really hot coin. It's just tossed ten in a row. Keep that coin. That's really good now. The test is okay having done that now. Take that coin tossing and again and in all likelihood it will just be from the if you ignore the i ten from that point on it roughly equal numbers of heads and tiles oh so if you build in the first ten as part of your number then slowly seems to lose its potency. It's not quite you know. It used to be batch better than this. No actually what's happened. Is that you go to the end of the first ten you just seeing that never had this <hes> whole property in the first place do the laws of probability whether it's blackjack poker flipping a coin or whatever does it change when you change range the circumstance of real world to virtual world if you create a program that supposedly random coin flip will the results. Let's be different because the computer is doing it. Versus a human is doing it and there's wind speed and gravity air pressure and all that these these suppling fooling fluence is can change the proportion of heads entitled in fact some mathematicians built a coin tossing machine and they bill coin tossing machine that was so precise that it would toss heads every time you know flips the coin several feet in the air spins over half a dozen times or more and heads do it again hits do it again lands heads and that's because the mechanics is very precise and the machine is much vectra tossing than human being <hes>. You know if i toss a coin twice. It doesn't spend the same right. It doesn't get quite the same force acting on it. You get the different results but even so all of that depends on the air currents not being too high. <hes> temperature may be not being different the humidity in the air and not being different. If you use that machine millions of times under slightly different circumstances you would probably get slightly different results because because all of these factors do influence what's going on <hes> it's more of this with dice <hes> when you roll dice across the table every time it bounces the butterfly effect comes into play and so very tiny differences ten completely change nine the final number of dice rolls so it seems at the end of the day here that the lesson is that despite all of the efforts to make probabilities better and to predict the future better. You just never really know actually coin tossing the thing that really randomized mize's the toss is which side up you put the coin on your son and this is why there are ways to toss coins make. It look like they're flipping over. You've actually they're spinning round and round with the same face on top all the time 'cause wobbling a bit. This is why most of these games where you start with the coin toss the other apply it does not call until the coins in the air so you can't rig which side is face up based on what he called because you don't know <hes> but it's actually the randomness of the human being putting the coin on their one way or the other the most likely prediction when you toss the coin is it will land the assign my up that it started wait say that again because i think people think that a coin toss is used so often to decide things because it it is so random. It isn't so predictable so say what you just said the most likely prediction when you toss the coin is it will land the same up started. Is there anything you do differently now that you know the the laws of probability as well as you do that i don't know that i don't do i don't we we. We have a national lottery here. I never bet on it. <hes> i know the odds are i know that my chance of winning so tiny that on wasting my my money and on the other hand one of us at kortrijk some years ago one half a million pounds on the lottery so if i had told her you're wasting your time and she believe me i would actually deprive serve half a million pounds so i don't gamble but if people enjoy it and vacant afford the money they're spending and they get fun out of it. Then it's hard you know certainly wouldn't <hes> so the opposite but they normally do the old actually are on what that means puts me off of sorts of gambling games 'cause. I just don't believe the university's going to let me win to which some people will say e._s. but somebody has to win and you'll never win if you don't play and and like you say if it's fun why why not ian stewart has been my guest he is a professor emeritus of math at the university of warwick in england and the book is called. Dude is play. God odd the mathematics of uncertainty. There's a link to that book in amazon in the show notes. Thanks thanks mike. It's been a pleasure get to old navy tv now. All of your favorite jeans have just been redesigned and are now a whole lot better better fabric benefits for a better booty there. The all new super flattering fits are perfect for every body like the rockstar super skinny pop icon skinny sleek power slim straight and kicker boot-cut with a barely there flare style started. Just nineteen bucks plus. Get your fashion in a flash by online and pick pick up in store in two hours or less. Don't miss out hurry into old navy and old navy. Dot com select styles only mattress mattress firm's labor day sale has been extended through tuesday. Get a king just for the price of a queen or queen for a twin. It's our best bet deal of the season with savings of up to six six hundred dollars plus. Get a free adjustable base with your matches purchase of just four ninety nine visit mattress firm dot com or a store near you to find your perfect fit but don't wait. This sale ends tuesday at mattress firm offer valid with qualifying purchase restrictions apply daughter participating locations only for firm dot com slash. You have probably heard at least one motivational speaker often. They're the people who have overcome some adversity and despite the odds did something amazing and while that's great and those stories are often inspiring to hear it is just one person's motivational story but what about your motivational story what motivates you what is motivation. Is it simply finding finding the courage to overcome obstacles or is there more to it than that here with a deeper look at motivation that may just help you find your motivation avaition to achieve a goal is susan fowler. Susan has been working in the area of motivation for some time and has authored a couple of books on the subject including adding master your motivation three scientific truths for achieving your goals. I susan thank you mike. I'm thrilled to be here so i think everybody has heard motivational speakers. Tell their story and it's all very motivating because that's motivating to them and that's twit motivated them but that doesn't necessarily motivate me and sometimes it all falls a little flat so what is new in different and exciting about about what you have to say about motivation well. I hope it's exciting because it's science based. It's not my opinion or just you know. I had a good life experience and let me tell you how i did it and and the fluff it's it's really solidly empirically proven ideas that i know work not only in my own life and the lives of the people that i work with but there's just good science compelling science behind it and and i'm i i don't wanna sound too braggadocious but there's this wonderful academic research community behind it and i'm one of the few people who is actually taking the science and applying it and the science is saying what in general but the on personal motivation stories. What is the science say about it. First of all motivation is a skill so it's it's not <hes> something you have or don't have it's a quality of energy and you can dan at any time any place on any goal. You can shift your motivation. We tend to think of motivation as a quantity of something you have have and so if you don't have it then you you look for ways to get it so that's where we get caught up in the carrots and sticks and the you know all the tricks that that you know we do and the organizations around trying to reward people for behavior or reward ourselves for our behavior or applying pressure and attention or fear and so what i want people to know is that there's a lot of different ways of being motivated and some of those ways are optimal and have real world implications and some of those ways of being motivated are sub optimal with equally profound implications for your energy your well being and your ability to achieve your goals and so let's talk about goals because i have by theory about goals and i think people <unk> tend to achieve their goals if they say they have a goal that they never seem to get around to. Perhaps not really a goal. It's just a wish that they never get around to but but was what what our goals as you talk about them. And how do you know what your goals are. If it's a little bit fuzzy well well what i really want people to know. Is that if you haven't achieved your goals. It's probably because you don't love them enough. It's because you don't have the core or what you need. What's at the heart of motivation. I mean motivation is at the heart of everything you do and that you don't do and so i don't care what your goal is or what you say your tasks sorry i mean it could be from you know i need to complete my expense reports on time or i wanna lose weight or i want to stop smoking or i have a dream that i i. I listened to one of your podcasts about you know the side business. You know that you wanna wanna start. What people need to know is that there's three psychological article needs and if these three psychological needs are not involved in your approach to your goal your task whatever it is you're trying to do. You won't succeed well. I want to hear those three things but before you get into those i get the sense when you talk about motivation. It's this thing that you <unk> have or you. Don't have and you know i'm motivated. Sometimes i'm motivated more in the morning to do things than i am in the afternoon. Motivation is fleeting. It seems it's it comes and goes depends on my mood the time of day a lot of things. It's not a constant well. Here's what we need to understand. You're you're always motivated. The question is why the question is. What type of motivation do you have so you might have certain types of physical energy during during certain times of the day but like i just got back from seven country twenty-five day speaking tour and yeah i i am not a morning the person i am an evening person but i had optimal energy throughout the entire trip because i was managing my motivation. I know how to master my motivation. So there's a difference between the motivation that you have like when you eat a candy bar versus the motivation that you have when you eat a handful of almonds are <hes> you know. Physical energy and motivation is the same way so if you are motivated because you feel like you have to do something that's a different type the motivation than the motivation that you're doing something because it's aligned with a value that you have or that <hes> you have a deep sense of purpose behind it so what we can teach people is how to identify the type of motivation they have and then helped them shift their motivation from sub optimal to optimal all through a series of of of questions that you can ask yourself that helps you to <hes> create the psychological needs necessary those questions and can i just use diets as an example because that's kind of a goal that a lot of people half that what happens the reason diets. Don't work is because you're missing. The three psychological needs necessary for dieting so for example. The first psychological need is for choice and as soon as you say oh. I'm on a diet. I i have to lose weight. I can't eat a muffin. You've just eroded your psychological need for choice and so you need to do is to create that choice so that you can sustain your diet but if if you think oh i can't have that muffin you've eroded. Your sense of choice now becomes about the muffin. Oh i really want that muffin. Well what we need to understand is. It's not about the muffin. It's about choice so the second psychological need or scientific truth for achieving even your goal is that in addition to <hes> sense of choice. You need to have a sense of connection and connection means that you need to feel a sense of belonging with the people who are involved old with whatever you're being involved with and that <hes> that there's not a sense of being <hes> used or manipulated that there's not ulterior motives so so let's say that you're in sales and your manager is like pushing you to to make sales <hes> and what you feel is like the reason you're managers really pushing. You is because he wants you know oh to succeed <hes> as a manager he that he's got ulterior motives. <hes> there was a fascinating study done at the university of kansas <hes> dr actor brandon erwin and what he found was that coaches who <hes> are really vocal like come on you can do it one more. You know like <hes> training coaches. They were the least successful coaches and the reason was because people felt like the coach was just doing what they were doing for their own sake think not for your <hes> not for your sake and so we need to feel the sense of connection <hes> that's interpersonal but we also need to have connection to meaningful values or to a sense of purpose and we also need to feel like we're contributing to a greater good so what happens. Let's say on the diet is that we don't really think about the deeper reasons. What are the values. I have around this diet or is it superficial. It's like oh. I've got my high high school reunion and i wanna look good or i'm doing this out of fear because my doctor told me i was i was at risk and so i'd better lose weight so when i asked my husband you know why are you doing this. What what values do you have around this. Or how does it give you a sense of purpose. It was really interesting. He said you know i've always been an athlete fleet and i see myself as an athlete. Even though i'm older now and i'm not playing sports. I feel like losing weight would help me be more of the person i see myself as yes so he's self identified with a person who was not as heavy as he was after a few weeks and i kept asking these questions you know what choices have you made eight and you know. Do you still have a sense of connection how so and what he said. Was you know. I just got in touch with one of the reasons. I want to lose weight. As i want energy for for our girls <hes> we have grandchildren and i want to be here for them and i want to be agile and i wanna be that that fun grandpa and so all of a sudden he found a hole deeper meaning reason for losing the weight that he hadn't even thought about when he actually just cleared that he was going to go on a diet so in addition to having choice and we also need to have a sense of connection and we'd get that by asking ourselves. Why am i doing this. What does the meaningful reason or value or purpose behind behind it and how might i contribute to a greater good beyond myself by doing whatever i'm doing. If you have a doctor tells you that you're risk of dying if you don't go on a diet and get better. I can't think of a better motivation than that. Death is yeah so no no i mean it's a horrible reason why because it's fear it's fear based and whenever we're fear based it might it's. It's like the junk food of motivation. It's like eating. The candy bar is going to give you a burst of energy in the beginning but it doesn't sustain you <hes> fear threats <hes> rewards power status atis all of those external motivators that come from outside don't don't work <hes> or they work in the short run but even in the short run run they tend to limit your sense of well being your creativity or innovation. They paralyze you. They paralyze some part of you so the skill of motivation patient saying okay. I know i need to lose the weight. I need to find the reason my own reasons for losing the weight or i need to to find my own reasons for doing this now. If you get in touch with you love life and it's a positive and and you're not doing it out of fear of all. I'm gonna die or are or oh. My doctor told me i have to do this. That's called imposed motivation and so <hes> whenever other people try to impose their values on us. That's all we tend under rebel <hes> we we need to find our own values. We need to get in touch with our own reasons so anytime you're doing it because someone has told you you have to that that tends to limit our success but it would seem to me i can think of people i know who have had a serious health event or a diagnosis and it allowed them a gave them whatever motivation they never had before to quit smoking to lose weight to it. It works like crazy if they it depends on how you internalize it so <hes> it's just like if we have a sales person for example and we say <hes> if you if you <hes> really sell the most you're going to go on this sales trip and some sales people internalize that as i can hardly wait to win that sales going to be the top i want to be the highest ranking and some other salesperson internalizes it as that's interesting information. The sales would be nice and the way i'm going to get to the sales trip is i'm going to focus on. What's good for my clients. I'm going to focus on being a problem solver. I'm going to focus on being being of service the way you internalize that sales trip is going to determine how successful you are not only in the short run over the long run. What we find we look for example. It really <hes> successful sales people over time is that they don't do it for for the prize for the trip or for the ranking they're doing it for deeper more meaningful reasons and guess what the by product is they win so the same thing's true when people are confronted with a fear based reason reason for doing something. If you internalize it as fear you will not succeed if you internalize it as this is my chance to live life or whatever your reason is. This is my chance to be here for my children. This is as long as you don't feel guilty about it. 'cause guilt can stimulate a shift in your motivation but that you can't stay guilty. You can't be optimally motivated with shame <hes> it it. It erodes your like. I said your creativity or innovation your your sense of well. Being your positive energy your sustainable energy so we've you know we've been oh gosh i guess we've just been indoctrinated aided that we think we have to have discipline and willpower and fear and pressure but what we now know is that those are sub optimal ways of being motivated faded that aren't nearly as powerful or will be as <hes> enduring as optimal reasons for being motivated. Okay okay and what's the third thing. Third thing is competence. We need to see that. We're learning and growing every day so if we feel like we're making progress press on something so if i ask my husband who's on the diet <hes> what did you learn. What did you learn this week. <hes> what did you learn. That's gonna make you better at this us and he says you know what i learned. Who's really silly but it it's interesting that red onions have less calories than white onions so i'm going into just keep eating red onions and what and it was really funny because he would just you know ordering a sandwich. Do you read you know omelette red onions and so one day i asked so so. Did you ever learn why red onions have less calories than white onions and he said yeah they've got less sugar. It's weird this. Is you know now many many months inflator. He's still orders red onions because it's something you learned and that was intriguing. You know you think about a child learning to walk. The child keeps falling. We don't question why he falls but we need to ask ourselves is. Why does he keep getting up and when he keeps getting up he's not crying. He's not sad add. He's not mad. He's joyful. He's laughing and then he starts running before you can even walk. That's our nature our nature and that's what with these three psychological needs are are their fundamental needs that are fundamental to our human nature and so our nature is we love to learn and we want to grow. We want to be more effective. At every day activities. We want to demonstrate skill over time. <hes> we want to it to grow and learn it makes us happy and so if we are not growing your learning are seeing progress then that's when our motivation flags so we don't have to master something but over time we need to see progress so when these three psychological needs are operational when we create these proactively in our life. We've been due proc practical anything <hes>. It's it's amazing what you can overcome but you can stop bad habits. You can start good habits. <hes> you can sustain the positive energy necessary to accomplish whatever your goals are so take a goal <hes> <hes>. Let's take it out of diet. Take it somewhere else and apply those three things and show me how that would work okay <hes> well i can do. I hope you you don't think there's a silly thing but this is something that was really important to me because i travel so much for my work. I hate going through security at the airport and it just caused ause me angst. It's like one day. I'm standing at the airport and i'm just my fist clenched and i'm just i'm just really tense and i'm looking at all the lines thinking which ones moving fastest i'm trying trying to get in the fastest line and then. I have one of those moments where i go. What am i doing. You know i teach this stuff and here. I am so stressed out and this is something thing i have to do multiple times you know in a week and so i said to myself okay. How do i shift my motivation for this because i don't have any choice. I have to go through fricking security pretty you know i don't have any choice and i thought well yeah i do. I didn't have to go on this trip could have chosen to not travel. I have chosen to stay home. I could choose just to burst through security and get arrested. You know <hes> i could choose to go through it and be miserable. I have choices and i said okay i got. I have choices so if i choose to go through through security. Can i go through it <hes> and and find some connection. I already had competence. I'm pretty good. You know i kind of have that down pat so i had i i had competence and i said how do i. How do i gain connection and so i said okay first of all. I don't find a lot of meaning going through security. <hes> i was just in amsterdam and i started to throw from my bottle of water away and they don't worry about that. You can go through with your bottle of water. Go really they go yeah. We found that doesn't really make a difference. I go everywhere else in the world that make make you throw your bottle of water away so i just think some of the rules are arbitrary and i don't see a lot of meaning to it so i thought how do i find meaning going to security and i thought okay if i can link if i can align going through security with my values okay what are my values and i just started going through my values and i thought learning learning is a huge value for me. I thought what can i learn going to security and i realized i could learn patience. 'cause i'm not a very patient person and i thought okay. How do i learn patience. I get in a really bad line so i got a line that had a family in it and this is a family <hes> young couple with a toddler and a newborn. I did not know you could go through security without much stuff and so i get behind them and they go. Do you wanna go ahead of us and i go no no. I'm practicing patients. I didn't say that out loud but <hes> you know to myself. I got no thank you and i'm watching them and it's literally painful <hes> and so finally i i said to them. Excuse me would it help if i held old your baby and they said oh would you and i said yeah so. I'm i'm holding this baby. Mike and i'm realizing i love holding babies. It's just you know it's just ah joyful thing for me and then we go to our gates and i'm going wow that was really fun. I got to hold a baby and now realize every time i go through security eighty. I have an opportunity to live my values to live my life purpose and maybe even enjoy it and it's changed totally the energy that i have going through security. When you have choice connection incompetence it has the ability to literally change the energy that you use to act act on whatever it is. You're doing well. It really is interesting to hear more of the science of motivation. We've all heard the stories the motivational and inspirational stories of people but how motivation works. I think is what what can really help people. Susan fowler has been my guest. Her book is master master. Your motivation three scientific truths for achieving your goals and you'll find a link to her book in the show notes. Thank you for being here. Susan preceded all right. Thank you mike commonplace. Women put their purse in a restaurant is to sling it over the back of the chair but keeping it behind you leaves it vulnerable to being taken by anybody who walks by according to kevin coffey who is a retired l._a._p._d. Detective and founder of corporate travel safety sometimes women will rest their bag on the floor next to their chair but if can casually pick it up or kick it away while your eyes are turned the safest spot for your handbag is on your lap but that's not very practical so instead try this you lift up one leg of the chair and loop the purse strap around it so when you sit down your purse is secure you would have to get get out of the chair for someone to get it. It's very easy but few people do it and that is something you should know if you're not a subscriber to this podcast asked remember subscribing is free and that way all the episodes are delivered right to your listening device couldn't be easier. Just hit the subscribe button on on whatever platform you're listening to this podcast on right now. I'm mike carruthers. Thanks for listening today to something you should know.

ian stewart mike carruthers susan fowler professor university of warwick england intel apple newton a._d._t. terry kaduna rome netflix kevin coffey america Liz italy
 How to Use Failure To Make Your Good Ideas Better & Why You Check Your Phone 86 x a Day

Something You Should Know

44:09 min | 1 year ago

How to Use Failure To Make Your Good Ideas Better & Why You Check Your Phone 86 x a Day

"Today on something, you should know something amazing happens to your brain every night while you're sleeping. I'll explain that. Then what it takes to turn your great ideas into reality in our culture. We tend to emphasize her skill and genius. And we miss the fact that so many of the great breakthroughs have a very large component of luck in what you wanna do is, cultivate, your own luck. Then how to stop being stressed and frustrated when life doesn't go the way, you think it should. And a lot of people have compulsive behaviors you do if you check your phone a lot not being able to leave it behind not being able to turn it off a compulsion. It's not a mental disorder. But it definitely is a compulsion. And the reason is that we feel that if we are not I was looking at it will miss something. And that triggers an invited that many people find intolerable all this today on something, you should know. Something you should know fascinating. Intel the world's top experts and practical advice, you can use in your life today. Something you should know. Mike carruthers? Hi, welcome. I'm sure you already know that there are some real benefits to getting a good night's sleep every night. But those benefits may go beyond. What you even imagine? It seems that while you sleep good things happen to your brain. For one thing. It seems that sleep is essentially like bringing in the overnight cleaning crew to clear out the toxic waste proteins that accumulate between your brain cells during the day, the co director of the center for translational neuro medicine at the university of Rochester has studied the mechanism that underlies these functions, and she says that it's it's like a dishwasher and just as you wouldn't want to eat off duty dishes. Why would you want to settle for going through the day thinking with a dirty brain? So a good night's sleep helps to clean your brain since leap is so important. It's worth mentioning also that your afternoon. In coffee may be messing up. Your sleep study from Wayne State university and Henry Ford hospital concluded that when taken even six hours before bed caffeine can decrease your sleep by as much as one hour per night. And that is something you should know. It's always interesting to hear the stories of where great ideas come from. And perhaps even more interesting are the stories of where great ideas go how they're nurtured from idea to reality. As you probably know a lot of great inventions and breakthroughs seemingly come out of left field or from some other completely unrelated idea this process of making ideas into something real as what Safi Bahcall has studied extensively Safi is a physicist and biotech entrepreneur and in twenty eleven he worked with President Obama's council of science advisers, and he is the author of a new book called loon shots. How to nurture the crazy ideas that win wars cure diseases and transform industries? I saw thanks to let it to be here. So this is such an interesting way of looking at ideas because all. Oh, you talk about big great, and grand ideas. This is more about learning from failure than it is coming up with the next big thing. Well, it's interesting. There's sort of popular myth at the great inventors in the great entrepreneurs are the ones that come up with the best ideas. But in the time that I've spent with scientists entrepreneurs over the last probably twenty or so years, one of the most consistent things that I've seen is that what it takes to be a great. Whether it's an entrepreneur, great, creative writer, designer whatever you imagine is less about creating new ideas, and it's more about investigating failure. And here's what I mean by that any good idea will fail many times before it succeeds, essentially, every idea despite sorta revisionist history, you might read about the big breakthroughs they fail many times before they succeed even Facebook. Social networks. Eddie of social network failed many times the people who are really good. The p the the one group that ended up investing in Facebook, for example, with they were really good at is investigating failure mean peeling the layers behind why did something fail was it a true fail? It's a bad idea or something you might call a false fail. It was a flaw in the experiment or the measurement. But the underlying idea was good yet. So often we never hear about the failures. We hear that, you know. So and so did something and as if it was just out of the box, and and it wasn't it was fail fail fail. Then bingo, we mentioned Facebook. I'll give you an example. So when Mark Zuckerberg was taking that idea around to investors there had been maybe dozen two dozen social networks all of which had failed and right around that time. There was another social network called friendster, which was which had been very. Popular, it was getting to maybe a million users or so, and then it was just starting to fail as users were leaving that site and going to a new one called think it was called my space. So all investors that Zuckerberg took his idea around to said, basically, well, social networks could never work. You know, why they're fads. People will stay on one. Just like they stay on a clothing brand. Like a pair of jeans and they'll speech switch to another one the next season. That's what we see happening. But one guy guy named Peter Thiel investor in Silicon Valley said is it really just like a social fed is really a bad business idea. And so he started investigating friendster and he asks the team behind France turf. You could see their logs of how long users were staying on the site because he knew the site was sort of crashing in having some problems, and he was stunned by what he saw people kept staying on this site. Even though is a pretty poor website and kept crashing people were staying on for hours. So he realized it wasn't a bad idea. It was just a bad software glitch. So he put in half a million dollars and sold it eight years later for a billion dollars. So that's an example of a false fail. It's an example of the power of investigating failure in. How do you do that? How do you investigate failure? And be objective about it. Because it seems that you could look at a failure and say, well, the reason it failed is this, and you could be right or you could say the reason it failed is this and you could be wrong. So how do you do this well and objectively and accurately? Now, that's a that's a great question. So anybody who is pursuing some kind of crazy idea as some kind of ambition and people say, I don't think it's gonna work. There's one takeaway that I found incredibly useful on it's something that the best whether they're entrepreneurs or creatives writers seem to regular. Really do. I remember it with an acronym. LSC listen to the suck with curiosity. And here's what I mean by that. If you have an idea passion project at your pursuing, and you show it to either an investor let's say you're writer, you show it to a publisher editor, and they tell you they don't like it. And they start telling you all the bad things about it. The great reaction the ones that the the the reaction that the people who end up doing amazing things regularly. Do is to listen to that bad. Message with curiosity meaning investigate set aside the emotions the urge to punch him in the face. And dismiss and reject him there eighty they don't they're idiots. They don't know what they're talking about said all that stuff aside and asks them help me understand. What is it exactly that doesn't quite resonate for you with this idea this product or this business, and you if you keep pulling on? That threat because a lot of people actually don't want to say there's not a lot in it for them to offer you negative feedback. Because you, you know, if they're friends of yours, they're going to resist that might damage your friendship. But that's exactly what you wanna do. You wanna take off that hat of being rejected feeling depressed, and you want to pull on that thread like an like an investigator like Sherlock Holmes be put on your Sherlock, Holmes hat and say help me understand you keep pulling on that threat. And you might find a little piece of gold at the end that's enough that you never thought about that little nugget could be the key to turning your idea into home run. So I think of that as LSC listened to the suck with curiosity set aside, you resentment keep pulling on the thread, it's hard to hear that. No, one likes your baby. It's even harder to keep asking. Why? When people have ideas, how do you? How do you think the best way is to approach them evaluate them decide to Fisher cut bait? How what's the process? I think of it is wearing two hats, and it's very important to remember which hat you're wearing one had is the artists. That's the one that's trying to have as many creative ideas as possible. The other head is the soldier. That's the one that's trying to narrow them down and focus on getting things done on time on budget on spec. So one thing that I found incredibly useful. And I have a number of entrepreneur writer, friends, greater friends who have been doing something sort of similar. I actually physically keep two hats one bestirred a wacky feathers on it and one is sort of a military cap when you put on your wacky. Feather creative artists hat. The secret is speed. You just wanna? Quickly go through ideas, generate as many ideas as you can that's number one number two attention. You wanna look for that tiny little I think of it as like a red Sparrow like you're running through a dense forest, and it's full of lots of stuff, whether it's your story options or your business options, and you're looking for that tiny little red. Sparrow, that's the secret that will take you into a beautiful place. So you wanna run as quickly as you can through that forest around the edge that forest number two is attention. You wanna look for that red? Sparrow. A number three is courage. When you see that red Sparrow follow it. So the secret to the first half the artist had speed attention, courage. And then you wanna take off that hat when you are done, creating as many crazy, wacky ideas. And you want to there it's really about quantity, not quality. That's the secret to really, creative wild ideas. His go as fast as you can threat as many ideas as you can. When you are done with that process. You take off your wacky feather artists head and you put on your military cap. Okay. Let's prioritize let's think let's say across two dimensions ease in value. How difficult is how easy is this value? How much value is in this ideas at a pretty valuable big idea? Or is it sorta incremental maybe not that valuable, and you kind of prioritize stuff based on east value in the stuff that's in that kind of top right corner quadrant of kind of high es and high value. Those are the first things you go after Safi buckle is my guest. He is a physicist and biotech entrepreneur, and he's author of the book loon shots at nurture. The crazy ideas that win wars cure diseases and transform industries. If you're a human you go through tough times in your life. No one escapes that. And so often talking to someone can make all the difference. That's why I love. Of this idea of better help dot com. Better help online counseling offers licensed professional counselors who are specialized in issues, like depression, stress, anxiety, relationships self esteem, family, conflicts, anger, and so much more. You connect with your professional counselor in a safe and private online environment. Anything you share is confidential. And it's so convenient you get help on your own time and at your own pace, you can schedule secure video or phone sessions plus chat and text with your therapist. This is not a crisis line. This is for when you have some time take a breath and get some real serious help best of all it's a truly affordable option and for something, you should know listeners. You get ten percent off your first month. If you use the discount code S, Y S K for something, you should know. So why not get started today? Go. To better help dot com slash S. Y S K fill out a questionnaire. So they can assess your needs and then get matched with a counselor. You'll love better help dot com slash S. Y S K something you should know is sponsored by ADT. What does real protection for your home and family mean to you? Well, whatever it is ADT can deliver. When it comes to home security ADT is a name, you know, it's the most trusted name in home security, and with ADT you get the latest innovation in smart home security, combined with twenty four seven monitoring ADT is the number one smart home security provider with a team of professionals who design and install a secure smart home, customized just for you with things like video doorbells indoor and outdoor cameras smart locks and lights all controlled from the. ADT app, or by the sound of your voice. And this is really great. You can also get safety on the go or for when your kids are at school. It's the ADT go app with an SOS button. When security is important you need ADT. So Safi a moment ago, you describe the process of going after your big ideas. Can you give me like a real life example of that theory in practice? This was maybe ten years ago. I worked with a guy named Judah Folkman who probably would have won the Nobel prize had he lived a few years longer. But when he was in his early thirties, he was a. Head of surgery at Boston children's hospital. He came up with a pretty crazy idea for treating cancer. His idea was you know, when tumors grow they need nutrients, they need oxygen in blood. Just like when you're building a house you have to bring in supplies. What about if we try to treat cancer by blocking those pipes taking away the nutrients from a tumor isn't needs to grow in at that time at the time, the only things that we had chemotherapy and radiation. And people thought he was crazy said, hey, look, you know, you look at these tumors in patients because he was operating he was a surgeon. He said, they're surrounded by these blood vessels. They said, well, let's just inflammation irritation. He worked on that for thirty years. And almost every year. He was told he was not so ridiculed or dismissed one year. I remember an article appeared in the Wall Street Journal. Named cancer. Researchers results cannot be replicated. Most people would react by angrily criticising either the newspaper the sources instead he picked up the phone. He called the lab that was a source for that article and said help me understand what exactly you're doing. Walk me through the steps that you are doing as he went through those steps he realized that the material that they were using this stuff that he had shipped them had been damaged by the shipping process when they freeze it down unfreeze it by pulling on that thread. He uncovered a very important nugget that there was something in the freezing process. He learned not only how to fix that. But that actually gave him new ideas about his work. So that's an example of LSC listened to the suck with curiosity. Rather than reacting angrily or defensively, he come put on an investigator hat, and sort of dispassionately listened to what the other side. Was telling him. You don't hear those kind of stories too often of somebody who's tried for thirty years to do something and failed and before they succeeded because everybody likes everybody likes to winner. So many of the big ideas that we in hindsight take for granted failed many times along the way, let's take for example, Google search when Google was gone around trying to raise money for their idea of news of a search. They were also dismissed why there'd been a fifteen or twenty different search portals, and none of them made any money they'd all failed. So they thought quite carefully about why did they fail? They came up. I with a new algorithm for prioritizing search rankings 'cause they said, well all these things have failed because they're not really giving users the sort of prioritize results that they really care about. And they came up with a clever tweak, not a very big tweak a small tweak just prioritizing by number of links. The. Really improve the usefulness of their search compared to others. And then everybody said now, there's no way you can make any money is just a service anybody could do it. So they came up with an idea, and they said, well, why don't we auction off the real estate on the page to the highest bidder? After the searches it doesn't sound like a wild idea. But now pretty much as a result of those two things Google's almost two trillion dollar company. But sometimes the the idea is a bad idea. Sometimes it it isn't gonna work it. It's just an, and I I guess it's hard to understand where do how do you know, when it's time to throw in the towel and say, no, this this really is a bad idea or or keep pulling that thread and finding that nugget. Well, that's an excellent question. I've been there many many times, I'm sure it's really a question of thinking for yourself. What is the difference? Between stubbornness and persistence and the litmus test I use for myself is when I start to get negative feedback which will happen all the time. If you have an idea that's challenging accepted beliefs in all the good ideas challenge accepted beliefs if you're getting negative feedback on that what's your reaction? Do you dismiss and say, well, these people are idiots. They don't understand. In that case, the needle might be pointing towards stubborn might be pointing towards time to move on. Or do you react when you get that same negative feedback of taking off the dismissing rejecting hat and putting on the Sherlock Holmes Sherlock, Holmes Hatton, saying to help me understand. I find that with the ideas it end up working. I'm still always putting on the Sherlock Holmes hat in digging for the nugget when I'm just being stubborn is when I'm just dismissing negative reaction as a bunch of idiots. And so for me, that's like a temperature check how am I reacting to negative feedback? When you look at successful ideas, things that really, you know, hit it out of the park, and you drill down into the story. There's oftentimes something in that story that is not about the idea and the market research and the product development, there's a magic there's some magic that happens in our culture, we with our revisionist histories of great breakthroughs tend to emphasize skill in genius. And we miss the fact that so many of the great breakthroughs have a very large component of luck of serendipity the. Really great breakthroughs are do one part to skill and one part to serendipity in what you wanna do is be aware that luck plays an enormous role and do what you can to, cultivate, your own luck. It seems to me. And I'm so glad you said that because I think I've always thought that so much of the success that we see is in large part luck. It was and I can think of so many stories of people who just happen to be sitting next to that other guy who knew a guy or you. You're sitting across the table from someone who could help you out that those things are so much more powerful in success than anybody wants to talk about even the story of some of the most famous legendary creator stories like Steve Jobs so much of that story was locked like when he found the. Macintosh project or when he bought Pixar? He bought it for computer. And who knew that they were making some movies turns out that the movies that they were making in that little company made him a billionaire, and because of that he was able to go back to apple so much of that apple story, and Steve Jobs story was serendipity. Of course, there's some role of skill. But a very large part of that was serendipity. What's the Moses trip? The Moses trap is the idea that we have this created by the press and popular images, and these business magazines that have these cover stories of these great leaders these innovators. And it's the idea that the great leaders are the ones who stand on top of a mountain like Moses and raised their staff and anoint the chosen project the holy loon shot like Steve Jobs, for example, with the ipod the problem with that the reason it becomes a trap is at that might work once or twice if that's leaders Ma. Model of how they manage their business. Whether it's a small business or large business that they stand on top of a mountain and make the big decisions that might work once it might work twice. But eventually is I show some of those stories whether it was Edward Lander polaroid or even Steve Jobs when he was younger one trip to build Pan, Am that might work once or twice, and maybe if you're really lucky three times, but eventually you make a mistake 'cause the most this up there, and some competitor will eat your lunch a very different way to lead. And when you look at the past the sort of revisionist histories of great leaders, very different way to lead is more. Like a careful Gardner. You had these two groups that artists at work on the creative new ideas and the soldiers that get things done on time on budget on spec. The gardeners manage the touch and balance between these two groups they focused on the biggest failure point inside companies inside team. Games. And that is the transfer creatives and soldiers, don't speak the same language most projects fail because of the transfer between those two so the gardeners are the ones that are figuring out when to bring the baby ideas out of that little idea nursery not too early not too late. And they can sure that they're ok on when they're on the other side and bringing them back when they need some extra help. So that's what I mean by the most is trapped in the lesson is be a gardener, not imposes. So what's the takeaway from all of this from all you've talked about an all the research you've done. What's the the one two or three things that people can take away from this here? The three things number one LSC listen to the suck with curiosity. Keep pulling on those threads and search for that negative. Why is it that people are rejecting your idea number to get to hats artist at and soldier head be very mindful, which you're wearing wet when a number three be a gardener. Not emotion. Roses. Great Safi Bahcall has been my guest. He is a physicist and biotech entrepreneur and author of the book loon shots out of nurture. The crazy ideas that win wars cure diseases and transform industries. And there's a link to his book in the show notes. Thanks safi. Thanks, mike. It's been a pleasure with Capital One saver card. You can earn four percent cashback on dining and entertainment. That means four percent on checking out that new French restaurant and four percent on bowling with your friends. You'll also were in two percent cashback at grocery stores and one percent on all other purchases. Now when you go out you cash in what's in your wallet credit approval required capital? One Bank USA an a. When does normal behavior become compulsive behavior? How many times a day do you have to check your phone for that to become compulsive? Why do people avoid cracks in the sidewalk is that compulsive behavior? Or is that just playing a game? Why do we all or most of us? Anyway, why do we do things that other people might consider a little weird? Sharon Begley decided to investigate this with some interesting and surprising results. Sharon is a science writer for the science website stat. And she's a former science columnist for Newsweek and the Wall Street Journal, she's author of a new book called just can't stop an investigation of compulsion. I Sharon welcome, thanks for having me night. So when I think of compulsive behavior, I think about you know, OCD washing your hands a million times a day or checking. Make sure you lock the door two dozen times wh- what what is your interest in this. Why investigate this tipping point? That's it were came when I'm reporter, I've covered science and medical issues for many years and a few years ago, as you know, many people have experienced them I began to see that nobody could go anywhere, including to the ladies room, the men's room lunch, whatever without not only holding their phone, but having it in their face looking at it all the time. And and for my colleagues that was because if you know, some news broke, and again, we're fellow reporters. And if they didn't jump on it in that very nanosecond, they would be in all sorts of trouble. And the reason they therefore could not leave their phone behind the reason they couldn't stop looking at it was simply Zayed's. And anyway, it's about serve touched off my interest in this and I began to explore all. Sorts of forms of compulsion. And yes to answer your question once I began to understand what they were. I'm I defied a few and myself as well. So what is it compulsion? How do you define it? How do you? Where's the line between behave normal behavior and compulsion? That obviously was the first thing I had to figure out, and and there's three things that come into the under the general umbrella, compulsions impulsive behaviors and behavioral addictions, so you know, without getting too much in the weeds here what emerged was that. A compulsion is they'd behavior that we engage in over and over and over again, and it's driven by one thing and one thing only and that's anxiety. And the reason we engage in the compulsion. It's because it's the only way we have to alleviate the anxiety. So in the case of somebody with classic OC obsessive compulsive behavior. They engage. They watched their hands multiple times. Today. They can't leave the house without returning to see if they've left the stove on all of those manifestations of OCD are driven buying Zayed's eight as every other compulsive behavior, and where it tips from sort of, you know, sort of functional and helping you and your life and just sort of maybe quirky eccentric into something. That's an actual mental disorder is when it starts interfering with your life or causing distress. So, you know, looking at your phone, especially since everybody does it. These days is for the most part not considered a mental disorder. It's a sort of normal compulsion. But somebody who has CD and who can't get through a day without washing her hands a hundred times until their red and raw and bleeding or somebody who has CDN can't leave the house without returning to see if the stove is on those that is obviously interfering with their life. So that's when it tips over into a mental disorder. Where do they come from? I know that you say that the that it's because of anxiety, but they probably didn't always do that. So what where does it come from every individual has a certain degree of resilience? And you know, we all know people who, you know, for home, life difficulty, just sort of lied off them like, you know, water off the back of a duck or something and other people are more more fragile emotionally and mentally and the exiled. He really does leave. It's Mark on them. And one way it does though. And we're one way it comes out is through these compulsions. So let me also keep trying to answer a question by getting back to something you asked earlier, which is whether I have any. So I didn't think I did. But again once I started getting into this subject. I served took took stock as it were. And I'm really really worried about how much money I spend to the extent that I'll look for. You know bargains, and even you know years ago when they existed grocery store coupons at cetera. I would be right. My poor husband if he spent more on something then he thought he should have. So I began to look at that. And you know, without belaboring the point I realized that the reason I act that way is because I'm just really worried that one day, I will, you know, be poor and homeless and be living on cat food. So it it's not disabling. But it just what I would consider a behavioral quirk and anyone looking at me would not say, I have, you know, disabling compulsions, but it's one little thing that I do and up -solutely drains away, some of the exiled, he I feel so I I would say that, you know, the vast majority of people who have compulsions absolutely do not have a mental disorder. If you label every compulsion as a mental disorder, then we're all crazy. And clearly that can't be the case, everyone have a compulsion. Do you think, you know? I haven't. Asked six billion people. But my guess would be no again because there just some people who no matter what life throws at them. They just don't feel anxious, but I would say more people have a compulsion. Then we probably recognize again, you know, if you look at yourself as I did I would have said originally, I do not have one, but with a little bit more introspection I began to recognize that I do, and I would say also that with the, you know, the the takeover of our electronic toys, especially smartphones, not being able to leave it behind not being able to turn it off even overnight having to look at it. First thing in the morning, which growing percentage of people say, they do that's a compulsion. It's not a mental disorder. But it definitely is a compulsion. And the reason is that we feel that if we are not always looking at it if we're not checking will miss something. And that just so triggers anxiety that many people find intolerable. You look at your phone and realized that there is no emergency nothing. Horrible has happened. Everything's fine. It's a big relief. It isn't relief. But but you're also put your finger on something crucial. How many times, you know, when you're scrolling through text or checking Facebook post, or you know, any of the, you know, countless other things that we do you find basically nothing. But drank, right. I mean somebody's status update. And you know, honestly, you could have gotten through your day without knowing that. But every once in a while, there's a gem there's this. You know, amazing tweet that you know, makes you laugh or makes you see life differently. There's a status update from someone you really care about. And you do, you know, you're really glad to know that he's engaged or something and the that form of reward or reinforcement psychologists, call it. It's called variable an intermittent would simply means most of the time what you get is forgettable, and you didn't need it. And you could have done without it and better you should have not even bothered to look. But every once in a while. There's something that you're really glad that you saw. And because you have no idea when those gems are going to land. That's why we check over and over and over constantly just in the hope that there will be something, you know, if not life changing, then at least, you know, interesting or fun are important to our lives. But because we don't know when it will come. We have to check all the time. It's it's like a slot machine. That's why slot machines are so white white people play slot machines. So compulsively 'cause you never can tell when those three cherries, you know, will show up in the little window because so many people have the compulsion of checking their phone over and over and over again every day it would seem that. Although it's a compulsion. It's hardly abnormal anymore because pretty much everybody. Does it and and it's interesting too that the phone looking at the phone relieves the exile eighty but having the phone causes the anxiety. If we didn't have smart. Phones, there would be no anxiety, and perhaps those people would have no compulsions that possibly because again, the variable intermittent reward nature of our electronic toys, especially smartphones, just taps into something very primal in the brain. But let me give you another example, Mike of where you know, something that is a very common behavior because it arises from a feeling that we all have Ken tip over into a compulsion. And that's with hoarding, so I spoke to one woman lives near Cleveland about why she hordes what she does. And what she hordes is basically everything, but what the the main contents of every room in her home are things from one her children were young and boxes and boxes and boxes. And she was when she and I spoke dealing with the building inspector who was about to say that her that her home had to be condemned. So I tried to draw her out on what might have caused her to behave this way when it was going to be so damaging to her life, and so, you know, without going through every detail she had a difficult life. She had a number of miscarriages. Her husband had PTSD after service in Vietnam. They were never financially very well off. She would save things for magazines like a pretty Zibo that people you know, that was being filled to put in your pretty suburban backyard or stories about exotic vacations, and I asked her why she kept them. And she said, I never got the gazebo. I never got to go on vacation. But at least I can keep the pieces of paper about them. And it was really hard to bring up my children. And now, they're gone. But all I have are the stuff from there. The stuff that I use to make little league parade floats. And their cub scout stuff and their school projects. So my children are gone. But at least I have their stuff and what she had the most of. And this is you know, where I start to choke up because her husband never made a great living. And she was I was a homemaker. He didn't really bring her many gifts even on versus birthdays, nothing. But for some reason, he kept bringing home boxes, just, you know, empty cardboard boxes. He thought maybe she would be able to use them. And she said that was the only thing he ever brought her. He is now deceased, and she keeps all the boxes they are now piled to the ceiling so much. So that her home has goat paths as they're called because they really skinny, you know, pad that wonder through the piles of hoarded, you know, possessions, and she says. I keep those boxes because it's all I have of him anymore. Anyway. So I tell you that long story because all of us. I think have stuff that we really would be devastated to let go to get rid of. We don't have as much as Bonnie does. And it's not wrecking our lives and causing the building inspector to come over. But you know, if I were to go to you know, where you live and look at stuff and say God, why do you still have this? I bet the answer would be it would really hurt me to lose that. It's my only connection to the past or it reminds me of something important. So that's simply to say that I think all of us have the emotions the feeling the motivations that many hoarders, do and that other people with debilitating compulsions do, but they just don't go far beyond that causes compulsive behavior. And and just anxiety in general for many people seems like it's a necessary part of who they are that in other words if you've got rid of their anxiety. That would make them more anxious because they need that anxiety somehow as their fuel. Well, I must say that I resonate to that. And I would call myself an anxious person. And that's I think sort of part of the profession that I'm an you need some amount of that to, you know, make it all work out, and I have been asked. Now, wouldn't you like to do something to alleviate your anxiety a little bit, you know, whether pills or meditation or deep, breathing, whatever? And my answer is no for me anxiety is not a bug. It's a feature. It's you know, it's how I run and I need it. And as long as it's not causing me problems in my life. I'm good. So yeah, you know, whether they're evolutionary arguments are just people looking inside themselves and figuring, you know, what they actually value, and what makes their life, work, whatever. But yeah, it's an interesting question that science is only beginning to wrestle with. And that's. The test. Right. I mean, if if you have what others consider a mental disorder, but it's not particularly interfering in your life. Then maybe it isn't a mental disorder. Well, so we could go down a rabbit hole. Here for psychiatric illnesses of which there are hundreds in the diagnostic and statistical manual of the American psychiatric association, which is the field bible. You can have so their their list of symptoms. Let's say they're six, and if you have five of them in three months or six whatever their criteria. And if you take off all these boxes, then you have this mental disorder only, if however it causes you distress and or impairment, so if you again have your mic mansion, and a vacation home and everything else, and you have the same amount of stuff as someone else. But it's not you don't care so it's not causing distress and you have the room. So it's not causing despair impairment, identical behavior different circumstances. One would be diagnosed as having a mental illness. The other would not yet you can have the same behavior. If it doesn't bother you. If it's not making. Messing up your life. Then guess what you don't have a mental disorder. So do you think that people like what was her name Bonnie the horn? And do you think bunny or other people who hoard like she does? There are some of those people who are just perfectly fine with it. Or or does it does it cause her and does it really do they wake up every morning going lamb? I like this. Why do I do this? Or do they go another day paradise on a was perfectly content with living in a house that was that had gone pad? True. It literally when I was speaking to her this was by phone. The building inspector was coming up the the front pathway, and I just couldn't get my mind around. And I kept asking bonding, you don't wanna be thrown out of your house. 'cause then first of all you would lose your stuff in all likelihood. And she said, no, I just like having it all around. Me. It's fun. So she would be categorized as not having distressed. She did not feel distress. But the outside observer would say cheese impaired because losing your home counts as an impairment. But I'm -solutely. I spoke to hoarders who were pleased. How can I get help? And there are ways to get help. And there are others who are like, you know, could society just leave me alone. And stop judging. I'm fine with the way I am. It's not hurting anybody else. So just leave me alone. And stop trying to tell me that I'm crazy. So yes, you're absolutely right. I can't think of a better way to end this conversation, then with me being absolutely right. So we'll end it there. My guest has been Sharon Begley. She is a science writer for stat and a former science columnist for Newsweek in the Wall Street Journal and her book is just can't stop an investigation of compulsion. There is a link to her book at Amazon and the show notes. And I appreciate it. Thank you so much for being here. Sharon, thank you so much, Mike. It's been a great time talking to you. You don't get frustrated because of events you get frustrated because of your beliefs that's the idea behind psychologist Albert Ellis's theory on how to never ever be upset again. And here's how it works. You get upset because you're stuck in traffic yet, we all know traffic happens. But you think it shouldn't happen to you? And the thing that's making you miserable is the word should the next time. You get mad or upset at a person or a situation. It may help to look for beliefs with these three troublesome words should ought must traffic shouldn't be this bad. Well, it's not rational because traffic is what it is. Life is not perfect people are not perfect and having the belief that they should be the way you want them to be can cause you a lot of unnecessary suffering. And that's something you should know. And that wraps up episode two hundred seventy two of the podcast today. I'm Mike Carruthers. Thanks for listening to something, you should know.

writer Safi Bahcall Facebook LSC Mike carruthers Wall Street Journal physicist ADT Sharon Begley Google OCD Intel investigator Sherlock Holmes Sherlock Wayne State university Steve Jobs Newsweek
The Surprising Ways Algorithms Steer Your Life & How to Make Your Ideas Stick

Something You Should Know

44:51 min | 1 year ago

The Surprising Ways Algorithms Steer Your Life & How to Make Your Ideas Stick

"Today on something you should know our UNICEF Daljit the along for the good old days. I've got some interesting reasons why you might be then understanding algorithms because they are a big part of your life over the third of which is that Amazon are driven by algorithms over eighty percent of our viewing activity on. Netflix is driven by Netflix. Algorithms almost all the dating matches on appliqued indoor and match dot com. They're driven by algorithms. Plus check your posture because bad posture could be causing you a lot of problems. And what makes a really good idea stick what we find is that successful, ideas of all kinds ranging from urban legend too important religious, ideas have sick things in common. They're simple their unexpected there concrete their credible. They happen to emotion in many come in the form of story. All this today on something, you should know. Somethingyoushouldknow is sponsored by ADT. What does real protection for your home and family mean to you? Well, whatever it is ADT can deliver. When it comes to home security ADT is a name, you know, it's the most trusted name in home security, and with ADT you get the latest innovation in smart home security, combined with twenty four seven monitoring ADT is the number one smart home security provider with a team of professionals who design and install a secure smart home, customized just for you with things like video doorbells indoor and outdoor cameras smart locks and lights all controlled from the ADT app, or by the sound of your voice. And this is really great. You can also get safety on the go or for when your kids are at school. It's the ADT go app with an SOS. S button. When security is important you need ADT. Somethingyoushouldknow fascinating. Intel the world's top experts and practical advice, you can use in your life today. Something you should know. Mike carruthers? I welcome. I would describe myself as nostalgic fit sentimental. I like the good old days. And it turns out that this whole idea of nostalgia. And longing for the good old days is a complex thing. It's so complex that it was once thought of as a disease it was the official cause of death. Nostalgia was the official cause of death for seventy four civil war soldiers. Our understanding of nostalgia has evolved a lot since then no one dies of nostalgia anymore, while some dictionaries equate nostalgia with home-sickness. It is not home-sickness is about a place. Misspell Jew is about a time. Home-sickness feels bad. Nostalgia feels good or at least bittersweet we also tend to idealize the memory and edit out the bad parts. So it is almost always positive and pleasant. Most people get Misao GIC at least once a week music, smells, tastes old photos can all trigger nostalgia. And so can loneliness a bad mood and being cold can also trigger. Nostalgia research shows that nostalgia promotes a laundry list of positive mental states and behaviors such as higher self. Esteem optimism and creativity. So nostalgia is really a coping mechanism. It's a tool for picking us up when we're feeling lost or bored or lonely, and that is something you should know. You've probably heard a lot about algorithms, and how they are controlling a lot of things and deciding a lot of things for example, algorithms determine some of what you see or don't see on Facebook or what net flicks recommends you watch next, but it's more important than that algorithms can determine which people get called in for job interviews, and which people don't in many cases, or who gets a mortgage or credit card approval, and who gets declined. So what are these algorithms where do they come from? And how do they work? Well, the guy to pose these questions to is Kartik Haas senior, he is a professor of technology and digital business and marketing at the Wharton school at the university of Pennsylvania. He's co founded four different business ventures, and he is author of a book called a humans guide to machine intelligence. How algarve? Rhythms are shaping our lives and how we can stay in control. Welcome professor, thanks for being here. Well, thanks for having me might of course. So we hear so much about algorithms and how they determine things and control things. But I suspect that a lot of people are a little fuzzy on exactly what an algorithm is. I'll admit to not understanding it fully. So what exactly is an algorithm? Yeah. That's a good place to start algorithms quite simply are just a series of steps. One follows to get something done, for example, when I make an omelet there's a series of steps I follow now that set of steps you could call it an omelette recipe, but the computer scientist in meek all's at an omelette algorithm. And almost every software application you use follows a certain set of steps and that is the algorithm in the software. So for example, Amazon's recommendation. Algorithm. That says people who bought this also bought these it has a certain set of steps at phone. It looks at the product that you are currently viewing identifies. Who else has bought that product? It looks at what else did they buy and then comes up with account of everything those people have purchased and recommends the most popular items to you now that's the series of steps at follows that is recommendation algorithm of Amazon and similarly any software application you use has a set of steps at follows. And that's the grid within the software to the casual observer your explanation. Sounds great. It's great that Amazon knows what other people who bought what I just bought bought and are now recommending some other things that I might like what could possibly be wrong with that. Look, I think this is great algorithms, whether it's Amazon's algorithm or Netflix algorithm, or you look at algorithms for driving cars, all of these great. The actually have a huge impact usually a very positive impact on our life. In fact, studies show that over a third of purchases that Amazon are driven by algorithms over eighty percent of our viewing activity on. Netflix is driven by Netflixing algorithms almost all the dating matches on absolute indoor and match dot com. They're driven by algorithms that even at the workplace, you know, all these loan approval decisions. You know, they're done by algorithms recruiting algorithms figure out which of hundred thousand applications are worth inviting for job interview. They're used in courtrooms to guide judges on rather criminals like likely to re-offend and they guide sentencing decisions, they guy doctors. Terms of treatment options. So they're all over. But the fact that they're all over and the drive so many of our decisions also means that if they have by sees or they have problems, then it could be very problematic and over the last two years, we started to see that these algorithms can be prone to human like, limitations and vic- sometimes. So for example, a study showed that algorithms used in courtrooms in the US. Have a race bias another studying actually, many have shown that some of these recruiting algorithms used by companies, they have a gender bias. We were already seeing that algorithms used on Facebook to curate which new stories we should read they had this limitation that they were not able to detect fake news stories, and they actually actively circulated many fake news stories, so given how much hope Purvis's they are. And how much? Back. They've on our decisions you thought many of us recognize that these algorithms have limitations as well. And so, you know, we're starting to see the these by CS and other limitations exist, and that's what is potentially problematic, and what we should be careful about it would seem theoretically speaking that you could. Yeah. Engineer the bias out of an algorithm. If it is in there in the first place that that algorithm should be more objective than people that they should work more objectively and therefore more accurately than people do, but they can't really match human intelligence, right? If I were to ask you, my give me all the rules you use for driving. We can spend hours discussing it. And we can come up with thousands of rules. But if you unleash that currency, go drive on the road. It might take fifteen minutes to have an accident. And what engineers have realized is that. You know, if we actually instead of programming and every rule we send none from beta. These algorithms can be actually very effective. So instead of Gordon all the roads for driving. We say here are videos of thousands of people driving over your, you know, observe and learn the patterns and learn how to drive then the algorithm essentially is now not being given the series of steps. But it's looking at videos of how people are driving and it learns how to drive is the same thing with screening resumes. Go observe, you know, the million applicastions we deceived over the last three years. Look at who we invited for job interviews who did we give an offer to who got promoted at the workplace and learn who are the kinds of people. We wanted our workplace so the algorithm looks at the data and learns from that and it works quite well. But the challenges if there are bias within the organization where let's say women are not getting promoted the algorithm picks up those by seasons though. So the. Algorithm is basically doing the best it can given the information. It has. That's right. I mean, the algorithm is very much. You know, these are called machine learning algorithms. So the idea is how do you get machines to learn and their approach is very much like the way. Humans. Learn you know, we, you know, let's say you look at a child the child first looks at you know, this animal a pet at home for like animal and says, okay, that's that's a cat. And now it looks at another animal and says, hey, that's a cat. And somebody says, no, no, no, that's not a cat. That's a dog. And now the child learns. Okay. So there's a difference between cats and dogs. The whisker tells me the, you know, the fish ship tells me, what's the cat. What Saddam and next time the child looks at a tiger and say, that's the cat. And we say, no, no, no, that's not a cat. That's at least not a domestic cat. It's it's a wild tiger. And so now the child realizes okay now, there's a difference between these as we are seeing more data, and we observe. Patents. We learn from it. These algorithms are very similar you give them lots of data and the learned patterns in the data, you give them lots of data. They say, okay. Every time there's a stop sign. The car seems to be stopping. So I know when I see something like that I should stop. And then it learns, hey, if the car in front of me slows down and it's coming closer, then I break as well. So I don't hit it. And so it's essentially learning these patterns from data nobody's explicitly teaching it. But it's nothing much like a child learning. Now, again, if the child is learning in an environment, that's biased prejudiced that child could pick up those biases and prejudice. And it's the same with these algorithms. So if the data from which it's nothing is not ideal. It learns from it, and it's very hard to prevent some of these things because you know, we want them to learn from beta and renewed take large amount. Of data like, you know, million job applications that company are, you know, again videos off thousands of people driving even tens of thousands of people driving over a year. That's a lot of data. It can learn to drive, but then hey, did somebody make a mistake while driving good it become those mistakes? All of those things are issues when as to whether you about and it has a social consequence because you know, hey, if you're using it in a socially important setting like deciding which mortgage applications to approve, you know, by sees problematic. If you're trying to figure out who gets a job again by Caesar problematic. And so that's where some of these challenges arise. We're talking about algorithms and my guest is Kartik causing her. He's a professor of technology digital business and marketing at the Wharton school at the university of Pennsylvania, and he's author of the book a human's guide to machine intelligence. How algorithms are shaping our lives and. How we can stay in control. Have you ever heard a topic discussed on this podcast or anywhere else? In thought. Hey, I'd really like to learn more about that. Well, a great place to learn almost anything is skill share skill share is an online learning community with more than twenty five thousand classes in just about everything today on the podcast. We're talking about how algorithms work and there are classes in skill share on al-gharib coding software. There's even a class specifically on understanding Facebook's algorithm, and there are classes in so many areas mobile, photography, social media, marketing, entrepreneurship, just about anything. You can imagine. I'm just starting the class on mobile photography because I want to take better pictures with my phone and the class is great. If you're something you should know listener, you must like learning. So I have a great offer for you two months of skill share for free. That's right. Skill shares offering something you should know. Listeners two months of unlimited access to over twenty five thousand classes for free to sign up. Go to skill share dot com slash something. Again that skill share dot com slash something to start your two months now. Join me and millions of other students already learning on skill share and get two months for free that skill shared dot com slash something. So Kartik, even if there is bias that works its way into the algorithm. Isn't it still likely going to be better than leaving it up to humans who are just? Chock full of biases in so many different directions. That's a great great point. And I I'm glad you brought it up. I think it's really important to ask. Hey, algorithms have problems than what is the alternative and the alternative is humans, and we know humans have their own set of by sees as you suggest and my method is not so much that hey, we need to get scared about algorithms and run away from them. And there is by the way, a lot of fear mongering about algorithms people. Use terms that suggest that hey, these things that are going on destroy society and so on and I'm not one of those. I'm not an algorithm skeptic. I think first of all we should note that algorithms on average are less biased than human beings. Furthermore, I believe while there isn't yet evidence for it. Because we are just understanding the problem, but I believe in the long run we will have more success in fixing algorithm by sees then. Fixing human vices. But I think the algorithm to have a different kind of problem with human by sees, you know, they don't scale the same way that algorithm by his do. And what I mean by that is that let's say, you're a biased judge, you know, that judge affects the lives of say five hundred people, but you have a biased algorithm that is used in courtrooms all over the US that could affect hundreds of thousands of lives, maybe even millions. If you have a biased recruiter again or a biased banker who's making mortgage approval decisions. Again, they're affect a few hundred people, but an algorithm that can scale meaning it can make decisions for millions of people. You know, the stakes are higher, and so we should be a bit more careful about these biases. But it would seem that a machine could be more objective and come up, maybe not a perfectly objective, but more objective decision than a human. No. That's not necessary. Actually, you could if you're not careful if you're not formally testing for bias, if you're not asking all the right questions, and we'll come to that in a second. You know, how do we address this? It is not necessarily that machine is less biased. In fact, a machine could be could even amplify sees. So it observes a pattern saying that men are more likely to be promoted. And it says, okay, you know, the betas pretty clear that men are the ones who succeeded the workplace, so let's become more aggressive in selecting men and rejecting women, and as just an example, but you can apply to anything mortgage approval, any of these those I'm those by these are very easy to amplify, aren't they very rhythms. Aren't they very easy to eliminate them? If you don't put gender on the application and the machine doesn't know if the applicant is male or female, the bias is gone. It's not that simple. Like because what happens is in fact, every one of these algorithms that have been shown to be biased. They don't actually even have access to the data on which they're biased meaning the algorithm that was used in courtrooms that had a risk bias that algorithm did not have access to raise as a variable. The algorithms that are shown to have a gender bias. They do not have access to the gender of the person. They actually pick up other things that are correlated with these. And so for example, you know, you have the zip code of a person all you have the name of a person it starts to figure it out these patents. So just saying that we're going to hide these variables from the algorithms, which is what a lot of companies do. And that's not sufficient is what we're finding because you know, there's so many ways that getting at people's gender and raised and. All can do that you and if they don't explicitly identify this is my gender or this is my my race. And you know, zip codes tell you that the name of the person tells you that or there's so many other things can't you just take an algorithm and say an and the best way I can think to say, this is lower the standards on everything. So that it it isn't just the algorithm doing it. But the algorithm is weeding out the obvious weeds. And then a person takes the rest and along with the algorithm. They get better results yet, I propose an algorithm Bill of rights, and basically I kind of say here are a few things we should expect an even demand from our algorithms. I mentioned a couple of those like transparency and audits and other one I mentioned is of user control. And I kind of say, you know, engineers are going in the direction of autonomous algorithms because there is this approach that is used by a lot. Product designers and engineers that you know, if we don't involve the user in the decision making process, we're simplifying it so much for the users. They don't they don't have to think about it. So the emphasis has all gone in the direction of completely autonomous algorithms. So the problem with complete autonomy is that it sometimes even hard to detect these and even when you observe it as a user, it's hard to correct this. And so I usually say that it's great that algorithms provide so much value. But let's use them. Let's keep a human in the loop. Are there things going on with algorithms that affect me that I probably don't know about or wouldn't wouldn't suspect are going on I've often run surveys with people asking, you know, to art extent. These algorithms driving your choice, and usually I find that people underestimate their the impact of algorithms on their decisions. Most people think that hey, the algorithms don't. Giving me some recommendations not politely and do what I want. But the data suggests that that actually having a huge impact on our choices. Like, I mentioned eighty percent on of choices on Netflix over a third of the choices on Amazon. And so on the second issue that is somewhat. I would say misunderstood is socially consequential settings. Like, I talked about courtroom position sometimes it's life, and that's decisions, you know, medicine is moving towards, you know, using a lot of algorithms one of the big trends and medicine is personalized medicine so make decisions based on individuals DNA profiles. And so I'll grids will play a huge role there. You know, rich schools. Your kid is assigned to algorithm is often assigning kids, do you know, which is the right public school? And so there's a lot of decisions which policemen. To which precincts, you know, we talked about March approval recruiting and so on. So I think the kid of that impact is not as well. Understood. When I just think about the word algorithms. I remember, you know, all at one time thinking, well, you know, that's an algorithm is is a pretty cool idea. But there it seems to have more of an image problem. Now that there's something that almost seems inherently evil when you hear well, they're using algorithms for that like, oh, wait a minute. Don't you think that that some that the that the sky is falling? And and the people who are saying that I wonder what's the alternative is it still not better than nothing in a you. Hear dumps like algorithms of oppression or algorithms. You know, being the countable algorithms are out algorithms that are destroying society. And I think those are very problematic ways to describe them. And I think it's creating a fear, which is unnecessary and even misleading, you know, people understood. Band that there's a lot of potential value here that we could eliminate huge by season and limitations in human decision. Making and create so much value by using computers to objectively analyze the data. And yes, we have seen many instances of algorithm failures lately. But you know, there is a greater chance that we can correct them. Then we that then correcting human by sees. And Furthermore, there's so many other settings in which they create so much value. So let's not have this fear based conversation. Let's not follow in self pity. Let's talk about solutions and move forward. Is you could imagine people hearing that eighty percent of things people watch on that flicks, our algorithm driven and think, oh, you know, nets Lexus manipulating us on the other hand. Maybe Netflix is just hitting it out of the park and doing a great job giving you recommendations. That you might not otherwise have found and kudos to them. Exactly. And it's very hard to say sometimes which of the two it is. And as long as users are savvy about this. We understand what these algorithms are doing as long as we had a big deliberate about our decisions and not saying I'll use it passively and do whatever it says. But actively engaged, you know, I think it's all fine. I think if algorithms create so much value where instead of spending hours making deficient, you spend seconds making those decisions because they can show you what's relevant and what's not for your decision making. That's great. But as long as we are deliberate about it and not kind of just blindly following them and understand how these algorithms work at high level, again, not the details, but at a high level, understanding, limitations, and insured. They're looking at the right kinds of data. They have you know, again, transparency helps if the say what's the data the algorithm looked at what were the factors that considered most? You know, I. And what were the factors that were less important for it? If we understand that we could say, okay, I'm now happy making this decision in a minute where it would have taken me hours. And boy in we use, you know, some help in all the complex decisions we make every day. Well, I think I've got a better handle now on what Al rhythms are what they do. And what they don't do. And I appreciate you sharing your knowledge. My guest is been Kartik Cussing. He is a professor of technology digital business and marketing at the Wharton school at the university of Pennsylvania, and he's author of the book a human's guide to machine intelligence. How algorithms are shaping our lives and how we can stay in control. There's a link to his book in the show notes. Thank you Kartik. Thanks very much like. Doesn't it just fascinates you? How ideas work and how some ideas make it? Other ideas, just fade away or die on the vine. I love the idea of ideas. And so does chip heath and his brother, Dan, Dan, was a guest a few years ago here talking about special moments in life, and today chip is here to talk about ideas. The two brothers have co authored several books including made to stick. Why some ideas thrive and others die? They chip welcome. So how did you in your brother, Dan, how did you decide to work together on the idea of ideas, we're ten years apart, and we discovered that we had this common interest in what makes some ideas stick with people? And and so both of us had had experience at trying to teach in in and get our ideas across and watching other people succeed and some fail. So explain what you mean. And maybe some examples would help of ideas that stuck and maybe some ideas that didn't stick dick JFK's man on the moon speech. The boy cried wolf eighth up stapled stuck for twenty five hundred years. The this is your brain on drugs campaign from the eighties. There are lots of ideas that stick. And if you wanna look for ideas, they didn't stick think back to what you remember about the last presentation, you saw or the last memo that you read probably zero and so understanding that ideas are very different very diverse. Is there some sort of common thread that that applies to ideas that make it and ideas that don't there are there are some common principles underlying idea? So one of the most common that we see is very concrete tangible images that you can see in your mind or or imagine. So when John F Kennedy talks about putting a man on the moon. That puts an image in your mind, when they used the edge in this is your brain on drugs campaign, and you saw it drop into the Skillet in you heard this method tangible concrete image, but unfortunately, most of us when we try to communicate our ideas, we talk and obstructions in that prevents ideas from sticking. Use the example and explain the difference between. Average Joe CEO talking about needing to increase shareholder value versus something more concrete like herb Kelleher. When he founded Southwest Airlines. His big thing was that we are the low-fare airline. So there is a principle called the curse of knowledge that we talk about in the book, when we become experts, we think about the world and NASDAQ ways, so if you've ever had a conversation with IT guy about what's wrong with your computer. He knows what he's talking about. But he talks about it at such an abstract level. And what you're wanting him to do is to tell you which button to press to fix the problem. And so the CEO who's talking about maximizing shareholder value is hearing a song playing in his mind. That's not coming across to the rest of us. What we need somebody. Like herb Kelleher to say, you know, we are about being the low cost airlines. I remember hearing some time ago in you talk about it in the book to the problem of giving people choices one of the things that we found in researching the book is that if people have to good choices there actually less likely to choose either. If they have one good choice, and so many times in life where confronted with, you know, eight core values for organizations or thirteen point policy plan by. Titian? How are we going to make choices about priorities when we're confronting that many options, and you just pointed out that it it's like you need a lot of decisions to screw you up. Just two screws you up. Yeah. Even to does it because because choice brings on this paralysis right talk about decision paralysis. And there's just lots of research that says that even to good options makes us much like less likely to choose either in. I know you talk about it. And I've heard other people talk about the idea that when you're trying to get your point across when you're trying to convince people to pay attention simple is better. And yet when we do it. We tend to explain things to death, and that's the curse of knowledge kicking in again as an expert, we know so much. So when we're talking to our kids about about why it's important to to keep an honest name or were coaching youth. Sports leagues. The reason we got to be a coach is because we. We know a lot about the sport. But as a beginner what you need to do is focus on one principle that we need to learn this week or this month, and I've seen that like when coaches coach little league, or they coached soccer. They sometimes overwhelm the kids with so much information that it's hard to really grasp what they need to learn. And you talk about, you know, finding your core message if you remembered the Jared subway sandwich campaign, the core of their message is we have really healthy fast food and the campaign before Jared the story about this guy who diets down from four hundred twenty five pounds to one hundred ninety pounds was a slogan seven sandwiches under six grams of fat subway had found the core of their message. But they implemented in very different ways in the story of Jared with that concrete image of this guy holding out these enormous pants that stuck with people the seven sandwiches under six grams of fat didn't stick with any. One because no one can relate to seven grams of fat. I mean, I don't even know what that is. Or what it looks like really, exactly? And when we're doing our presentations at work, very often, we're more in the seven grams seven seventy s under six grams of fat arena. We Marshall are facts. We get lots of details together when what's really going to stick with our audience and lead them to take action is story or concrete example. There is something that happens that is really fascinated me for a long time, and it can happen. Whether you're writing a report for work or a paper for school, or it even applies to podcasting where people get so into it. So close to it. They make it hard for people to really understand what they're trying to say. And this is an old newspaper problem that that you talk about there's an occupational hazard that reporter's face, and it's called burying the lead. And this happens a lot with reporters who've done lots of research for a store. Okay. So you're a Washington journalist, and you've done a lot of research for a story about politics, very often. The thing that is most relevant for the reader ends up way down in the story. In editors call that burying the lead the trick as journalist and the trick for all of us is to get the most important new piece of information. The most central core idea in that first sentence in that first paragraph of the story and reporters become very good at that. But most of us don't have the experience of prioritizing when we write an Email to somebody or when we give speech we should accept that same discipline that journalists have. Of Nora Ephron. The writer journalist filmmaker Nora Ephron was a high school journalist and her first day in class. This is a first experiences at journalists. She walks in the teacher immediately gives them assignment. He gives them a set of facs that next Thursday the principal. Beverly Hills high school has announced that the faculty will travel to Sacramento on a cloak Liam about new teaching methods. Margaret needs going to be there, the California governor Pat Brown is going to be there in what he asked him to do with this list of facts is to create a lead for a story. And so students worked way most of them just reordered the facts high school, principal Arnesen Brown has announced that the faculty will be traveling next. Thursday's see a colloquium by Margaret Mead and governor Jerry Brown. Now, he collects all those any ripples through them at the front of the class. And he looks at class and says the lead of the story is there is no school neck. Thursday. They had all missed it. You know, they were getting bogged down in the facts, and they hadn't thought about the implications of those facts in conveyed that to a reader that was her first lesson as a journalist and has a good first lesson for the rest of us as a teacher. I you know, if I had one moment in a decade of teaching that is as good as that exercise. I would I would hang up my head and call it a day. And so you say that good ideas have some things in common. What we find is that successful, ideas of all kinds ranging from urban legends, two important, religious ideas. Too sticky political ideas have six things in common. They're simple their unexpected there concrete their credible. They tap into motions and many come in the form of stories and imagine if when people were trying to convey, their idea tell their story, if they kept those six things in mind, how much better it would be then this kind of usual, abstract way, we talk. And so when we're working with our kids when we're working with our co workers, very often, they don't share all the knowledge that we have. I mean, we've spent weeks or months getting the right idea at work, or we spend years accumulating experience, we're trying to pass along as parents. And so very often, we tend to talk and abstract ways, we tell our kids, you know, having a good name and a good reputation is really important and what they're hearing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Now, the story ace house fable about the boy who cried wolf has been conveying that sentiment for twenty five hundred years or more, and it's probably a much more effective than are very abstract pieces of advice. And even things like one in the hand is worth two in the Bush or or the golden rule. These things have been around for a long time because they follow the rules that you're talking about. And then they cut across cultural boundaries, very often. We think you know, we've been taught by marketers that you have to segment your message and know your target audience. But there are things that all of us have in common and something like a bird in the hand is worth two in the Bush is in fifty three different languages. It's a it's an idea that resonates with people because it's concrete, and it talks about a trade off that we make in life about do. We take the sheer bird in the hand. Or do we take a risk on trying to catch the two in the Bush, and it's very visual? You can picture the bird in the hand in the Bush. It's very visual. Exactly. It's a little bit unexpected. So it has at least three of the properties that we've talked about and the golden rule and the golden rule is a classic important piece of advice that has changed people's behavior for a long time. And it's easy. I. Picture how we would want to be treated. And and so if we can use that to treat other people we're going to be way ahead. Have you ever come across an idea that disobeyed the rules that you're talking about here, and and still succeeded? I haven't come across with an idea that violates them. It's certainly true that false ideas can very often have many of these properties in succeed wildly. So one of my favorite, false ideas. Is you only use ten percent of your brain? Now who did that research study yet all of us have heard that? And I've talked to people in Indonesia in Japan and Turkey that have heard it in their own culture. But if ninety percent of the stuff up there was cushioning football players wouldn't need helmets. If we think about why that idea succeeds. It's simple. It's got a little bit of credibility. Because at that ten percent sounds really specific somebody must have done research on that. And more importantly, really really unexpected. We all think of the brain is in an important, Oregon. And so the idea that that we're not using ninety percent of it really sticks with us, and yet it's total baloney at total baloney. I wonder where it did start. Actually, there folklore that have studied this kind of thing and the earliest account of this that has been found we might think that this is you know, goes back to the eighties. When we started becoming interested in the brain and brain imaging actually, folklore traced that idea in our culture back to nineteen twenty four. So this is an idea that's been circulating for eighty years at least with no advertising dollars, no public relations assistance, and yet it's revise and spread on its own. That's kind of a definition of an urban legend exactly so urban legends. Rumors, but also on the positive side, the proverbs that we were talking about really that provide useful advice or every religious tradition has a set of stories that help people live better more moral life. You know, what's interesting is when I listened to you speak when anybody would listen to you speak and look at the book yet. You have to come to the conclusion that that this sounds right. This makes a lot of sense. But I haven't heard anybody put it all together this way before although you do give a tip of the hat to Malcolm. Glad well. Glad we did a great job in the tipping point at at talking about the idea of stickiness that social epidemics become f- Deming because they stick with people in what Dan, and I because of our backgrounds have been interested in is really that question. How do we get our ideas across in in surveying? You know, the greatest hits of humanity on sticky ideas, ranging from the bible to ace up to to modern ideas like JFK's man on the moon speech. What we found were we kept seeing the same principles. We kept saying the concrete imagery, we kept seeing the emotional time. We kept seeing that many of these come in the form of stories, and eventually we struggle with it enough to realize that there is deep underlying consistency. And I enjoyed the example that you gave about TV remotes the curse of knowledge is really will exemplify by the engineers who create TV remote controls. I mean who can use that thing other than the engineer that initially designed it and the reason is. Is because the experts trying to pack as much as they can into their product. And what the rest of us need is a really simple device another device that has similar properties with the original palm pilot that founder of that team that created the palm pilot used to walk around encouraging his engineers to keep that device. Simple. It only did four things, but it did them really. Well, he actually had a kind of visual proper that you would carry with them. He had a block of wood in the shape that they wanted the palm pilot to be and every time an engineer would propose an additional feature. He'd pulled out the block of wooden say, where's it going to fit on this device? We're not gonna have we're not gonna have room for peripheral ports. We're not gonna have room for an extended keyboard. We're designing a really simple elegant device and you talk about and I've talked with other guests on this podcast about the importance in the magic of stories that when you wanna make a point. It's better to tell a story then to give facts and figures that stories stories. Magic. They are magic in in in doing the research. What we found is that a way of thinking about stories is that their flight, simulators for our brains. It's you can tell your kids, you know, truth telling is really important. But if you tell them the story of the boy who cried wolf they are living through and seeing that they themselves are learning to distrust, this boy whose repeatedly crying wolf, and it's not surprising at the end of the story that the ending is bad because you predicted it all along. And so which is better telling people in abstract piece of advice or letting them experience it in this kind of mental flight simulator, and yet I can imagine someone listening to you and saying will he's just dumbing everything down. He's trying to take everything and make it into an over simplified boy who cried wolf kind of explanation, and some things just don't fit that they're more complicated than that. Well, nobody accuses the golden rule of being. Soundbite. So there is a sense in which we only find the real core of our message. The essence of an idea a man on the moon in decade is really simple idea. But it also encapsulated lots of hopes and aspirations of the whole nation, and that's the standard that we want to aspire to dump soundbites or dumb, but really important core ideas can transform people in societies. There are times in everyone's life when they have to make their point sell their idea, and you've made it pretty clear, why some ideas stick, and why some ideas, don't she apiece has been my guest, he along with his brother. Dan are authors of the book made to stick? Why some ideas thrive and others die? You'll find a link to the book in the show notes. Unless you're lying down right now, you're probably either. Well, you have to be either sitting or standing and the question is are you sitting or standing up straight? You should check your posture because bad posture can really screw things up. Here are some surprising side effects of slumping people who walk with bad posture report feeling more depressed and have lower energy levels. Slouching can raise your blood pressure by inhibiting blood circulation. Chronics lumper's often wind up with leaky bladders due to weakened muscles. Poor posture can give you heartburn by pushing everything up towards the Asaf Agha's slouching can also trigger headaches asthma attacks because it can inhibit oxygen intake bad posture can even take a toll on your confidence and concentration students who sit ups. Straight for tests tend to score better than those who slouch, and that is something you should know questions comments or just to say, hi, you can always Email me. My direct Email is Mike at somethingyoushouldknow dot net. And there is also a contact form on the website, which is something you should know dot net. I'm Mike Carruthers. Thanks for listening today to something you should know.

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