3 Episode results for "Michelle Psychology"

Marty & Michelle Theer Pt. 1: An Air Force Affair

Crimes of Passion

46:48 min | 1 year ago

Marty & Michelle Theer Pt. 1: An Air Force Affair

"Due to the graphic nature of this, couple's crimes listener discretion is advised. This episode includes discussions of sexual situations that some people may find offensive we advise extreme caution for children under the age of thirteen. When Michelle the're logged on in the late hours of the night. Her heart raced at the infinite possibilities contained in her little personal computer over the last few months, this technological box had expanded her mind and her heart through it. She created a new persona with just the click of a button. But her clicks also led to darker results Mayes deception and even death on December eleventh two thousand twenty nine year old Michelle opened an Email from a man named John diamond. His words shocked her I signed my life insurance over to you, two weeks ago. I'll make it look like an accident. So there's no problem with the money I wanted to spend my life with you. But since I'm still easily thrown away by you. I guess I am not worth that much. So. Oh, well, it was a hell of a ride a friend is squaring me away with something, I'll take a few hours to think about life. And maybe write something I will always love you, and hopefully see you in another life. I love you, John in an earlier time, such desperate words would warrant in immediate response. But the distance created by the internet can also make humanity cruel and with another simple click of a button. Michelle the're turned off the computer and returned to her real life and her real husband just a few rooms over from where she sat. Hi, I'm Laney hops. And this is crimes of passion. Apar- cast, original in the legal definition, a crime of passion is a violent crime that occurs in the throes of extreme emotion leaving no time to reflect on the consequences. But in this show, we explore passionate crimes. How does marriage progress from husband and wife to killer and victim or killer and co-conspirator if there's a thin line between love and hate what manipulates our relationships into deadly results this week, we will gaze into the twisted and deadly love triangle, that emerged between Michelle the're her husband Marty, and her lover John diamond in a true twenty-first-century affair a simple online posting planted the seeds for murder the real cause of the tragedy. Just might be the new and peculiar form of loneliness unique to the. Digital world of online relationships at par cast. We are grateful for you. Our listeners you allow us to do what we love. Let us know how are doing reach out on Facebook and Instagram at par cast and Twitter at podcast network. And if you enjoy today's episode the best way to help is still leave a five star review where ever you're listening. It really does help. We also now have merchandise had depar- cast dot com slash merch. For more information. Allston begins an innocence in Colorado circa, nineteen eighty-five. This innocence took the form of a high school romance between sixteen year old mardi the're and fifteen year old Michelle Forcier. They're young. Love was passionate like most young romances. But it took on a new depth due to Michelle's circumstances, her parents were divorced and rarely around leaving Michelle to care for her two younger siblings at the expense of her schoolwork. And after school activities, she was kept at a distance from everything except for mardi. He always accompanied her back home after their date and would entertain her siblings while Michelle took care of their nightly needs. The pair was like a miniature version of parents full of responsibility and self serious love this relationship was not a joke to either of them. But upon Marty's graduation, nineteen eighty-seven. They're dependable schedule was disrupted mardi move seventy miles away to Colorado Springs to attend the US air force academy leaving Michelle to finish out her last year of high school alone. Each weekend. Michelle drove to pick mardi up and then brought him back to the academy late Sunday before the school week began, again, her dedication was an impressive illustration of loves willpower, but it wore Machel down all the same. When Michelle graduated high school. She enlisted in the air force reserves following Marty's path through the academy while Marty sights were set on becoming an astronaut Michelle serve stateside during operations desert shield and Desert Storm between August nineteen ninety and February nineteen Ninety-one. She reached the status of tech sergeant and earned a medal for Matori a service by June of nineteen Ninety-one twenty year old, Michelle and twenty two year old mardi wore married. But once they stepped out from the chapel, the dynamic of their relationship changed, despite Michelle's own achievements Marti's, career always came first. He eventually decided against space, and was sent to flight school advance air force base in Enid, Oklahoma, Michelle dutifully followed. They moved again in October nineteen Ninety-two for Marty's continue training, and Denver, Colorado. This constant cycle through different locations would soon become the hallmark of their marriage and the source of all their problems to come. Before I continue with Michelle psychology, please note that I am not a licensed psychiatrist or psychologist, but I have done a lot of research for the show. Psychological research has shown that frequent changes in living locations affect the mind, while most studies have been conducted on children. There is significant evidence that illustrates a lower level of psychological wellbeing for those constantly on the move. Not only does one feel less stable, but they also become more physically isolated. They lose social conditioning necessary for building strong friendships and community ties, it's a vicious cycle of loneliness in the case of Michelle the're who already experienced many feelings of loneliness during her childhood her marriages, continued journey across state lines had consequential emotional effects. Moving boxes were packed up yet again, in nineteen Ninety-three this time ship to falcon airbase near, Colorado Springs, while twenty two year old Michelle kept a tidy home. She soon yearned for more out of life beyond the few days each month, she spent on air force reserves services. She decided to leave the military path behind and return to school by nineteen ninety four. She graduated with a bachelor's in psychology and sociology in nineteen ninety five the couple followed Marti's career to Melbourne, Florida where he flew C, one thirty transport planes out of Patrick air force base. Their lives continue to diverge as Michelle dove deeper into her studies working towards a graduate degree at the Florida institute of technology between her research and volunteer work at rape crisis centers and prisons, the darker aspects of human nature. Consi-. Zoomed her everyday life. She eventually earned a master's degree in nineteen Ninety-seven. Her thesis, focused on the coping mechanisms of female soldiers, but during the summer months of nineteen ninety seven twenty eight year old Marty was stationed in locales as far away as Kuwait Twenty-seven-year-old. Michelle was forced to while away her hours, alone, immersed in the immense research required to complete her thesis, the trauma, she studied leaked into her waking hours and dreams alike. She didn't have any outlets for her bottled up. Feelings, either she had never had a large friend grew and now she lived in a state, where hardly anyone knew her at all she wasn't outgoing in her classes as she was too focused. And by that level of graduate studies the social side of college had all but vanished, according to the peer, reviewed publication, the professional counselor or TPC there is. A large amount of evidence and research on the effects of spousal military, deployment on marriages, even though Michelle herself conducted research, so close to the subject, she never self identified exactly what she was going through by nineteen ninety seven. She had reached the first stage along a hard road for such spouses to quote the teepee see during pre deployment and deployment time periods. Wives often feel numb, angry and abandoned due to an upcoming or current separation from their husbands. Furthermore, wives also makes -perienced sadness loneliness and anxiety during this phase. The second phase refers to a certain despair characterized by feelings of extreme sadness. A wife may often go through similar stages of grief and mourning when her husband is deployed initially a wife may be in denial that her husband is gone believing that she will be fine, and that he is only away for a few days training, as time passes, she makes -perienced depression, and withdrawal as she realizes that her husband will not return for a long time. If at all Michelle may not have known it, but in this time of Marty's deployment the foundations of the theories marriage developed unseen hairline cracks, but there was one thing, the couple's still shared even while fractured by time and space, the computer that sat in their home office. Michelle utilized for schoolwork and Marty for air force business. In addition. They shared a new inexpedient form of communication, the Email Michelle and Marty used emails to stay in touch during their frequent bouts of physical separation, perhaps, there was a familiarity and comfort associated with the computer, perhaps, they shared passwords knowing there was nothing. They could hide from one another that was until a fateful night in late nineteen ninety nine when Michelle was twenty nine she would later say that her life change that unspecified night and it all began with that glowing box in their office. Michelle wasn't snooping. She would never do something like that. She was minding her own business. Checking her own Email and messing around with this, wondrous and mysterious new tool. It was all just an accident seven seventy an image loaded on the screen, and the innocence of Michelle and Marty's lives were forever. Shattered Michelle stumbled across a cache of pornography hidden away and Marty's computerized vials Michelle's mind braced as she went through these images photograph after photograph cycled before her is displaying nude women in positions. She had never even known existed. Is this what Marty was actually interested in these women looked nothing like Michelle for, here's she had never even thought to worry about? Something like this. She and Marty had been together since high school. They were all each other wanted all each other had the now these images gave Michelle a new vision of her husband. Michelle new one couldn't just stumble across porn like this. It took initiative and desire, the man, she loved was actively lying to her hiding things from her after all she had done for him. All she continued to do mardi didn't think that was enough. He didn't think Michelle was enough. He had to turn to the internet to satisfy himself now, suddenly Oliver unaddressed anxiety reached a boiling point and made a turn toward paranoia. The wheels, and Michelle's frazzled mine spun faster and faster and a more twisted narrative began to take shape, some of these photographs weren't taken by professionals or ripped from the pages of playboy. No, these were photographs of everyday women like the ones Marty would see at the grocery store or the mall or on his travels to other air force bases around the country. These photographs were personally uploaded to the internet by people who wanted to display themselves after some more research, Michelle realized there were forum set up for these kinds of exchanges. Is that what Marty had done? She could barely stand to think it, but soon enough this narrative consumed her this folder of images wasn't an innocent. Int- error on Marty's part. Nor was it just an ill considered symptom of late night, lust. This was evidence of something much larger a great fracture opened up in her perception of Marty and her marriage in general. She knew the truth now he kept moving them around on purpose. He likes spending time away from her. Michelle said years later that she decided bright then and their mardi fear was a family man. No more. He was requesting bespoke SPO, two graphs, from other women and probably asking for more than photos. Michelle the're would not stand for this betrayal. When we return Michelle takes her own internet revenge spinning her anxieties into a web of lies sex and murder. Issues like depression, stress and anxiety affect lots of people. You're not alone. There's no shame in asking for help. It's a sign of strength and better help online counseling. Is there for you better? Help makes professional counseling, accessible affordable convenient. So anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help anytime anywhere. Maybe you live in a remote area where there aren't many options for seeing a therapist in person, or maybe depression has made it difficult for you to leave the house with three thousand US licensed, therapists across all fifty states. Better help is available worldwide. Best of all, it's a truly affordable option crimes of passion listeners. Get ten percent off your first month with discount code passion. So why not get started today? Go to better help dot com. Slash passion. Simply fill out a questionnaire to help them assess your needs and get matched with the counselor you'll love that's better help dot com slash passion. What happens when you die? How do you become someone? You're proud of is it possible to find true. Love these may be modern questions. But ancient civilizations had answers for all of them because before science before philosophy before literature. There was mythology each week. The park cast original mythology takes a deep dive into the history, origins, and meanings of mitts within each myth is a lesson about the human condition that is brought to life by an unsolvable cast of talented voice actors and high quality audio production, mythologies, captivating storytelling pools from the beliefs of ancient cultures giving insight into how our ancestors saw the universe and how those stories resonate in our lives today. Mythology covers the darker roots of legends. You may know like. Hercules and LOKI it also recounts, lesser known mitts including Lakota, visit of the white buffalo woman, and the German cautionary tale of the Laura lie. Search for and subscribe to mythology on Spotify or every listen to podcasts. Again, search mythology or visit park cast dot com slash mythology to listen now. And now back to the story. In the fall of nineteen ninety nine mardi and Michelle peers marriage was headed for chaos. Just as twenty nine year old Michelle convinced herself that her husband was having an affair. Thirty one year old Marty was called away to moody air force base in Valdosta, Georgia. But this time Michelle wouldn't be joining him. Instead, she took on an internship in Alabama. For the first time in years, Michelle made a choice to put her career over Marty's, if he wasn't making their marriage a priority. She wouldn't be either. She moved into a small home just for herself for five months. Michelle was the master of her own fate, and she liked it. She realized that Marty was very demanding about housecleaning on our own Michelle didn't have to waste a lot of time keeping things. Tidy for her husband. But this taste of independence had a bite to it. She couldn't help but fantasize that Marty was continuing his online sexual liaisons while they were separated this, imagined possibility became a stark reality for Michelle, at least during her time in Alabama after five months apart. The couple reunited in early two thousand for Marty's new job on pope air force base in Fayetteville, North Carolina, despite an inward reluctance to surrender her independence, Michelle returned to the marriage. She had vowed to be dedicated to for the rest of her life. Michelle began working for Dr Thomas Harbin as a psychologist in training. It seemed a balance had been reached between the couple, but this was just a surface level. Illusion. Returning to the TPC's research regarding separation anxieties and military couples the theories had now reached the critical third phase while they were finally together for the foreseeable future, the after effects of the constant fluctuation in their relationship with linger, the teepee stated the final phase of separation anxiety denial or detachment can occur during the post deployment period, researchers postulated that this last phase serves as a defense mechanism which wives utilize when husbands abruptly rejoined their families anxiety combined with excitement has been found to impact the re-stabilisation of the couple attempting to regain a physical and emotional connection with one, another after a long seemingly permanent separation has been found to be extremely stressful resulting in struggles with communication co parenting. Ng returning to pre-deployment routines, and marital intimacy. This certainly could be seen in the theatres relationship. Michelle seemingly lost all interest in having children. Something that Marty greatly. Desired Marty had no idea that Michelle thought he was unfaithful. She kept it to herself, perhaps out of embarrassment or the fear of discovering. It was definitely true. But these bottled up emotions couldn't last much longer Michelle having spent half her life with Marty needed an outlet perceiving herself as the wrong spouse, a desire for revenge ignited inside of her with no real social connections, outside of her husband and co workers. Michelle saw only one option, Michelle returned to the scene of her husband's perceived emotional crimes. She logged onto the internet and became someone else. Michelle had heard about forums like this one, which now stared back at her. From the glowing screen, it was a simplistic message board format each user, went by an anonymous pseudonym. There was nothing here to trace back to Michelle as long as she was careful more careful than mardi. She thought with grim amusement, Michelle typed out, a screen name, then deleted it. No. She thought don't be ridiculous. Maybe this was all a mistake. Maybe this was all in her head. He deserves this. Michelle affirmed to herself. He had it coming at that moment, Michelle became someone else, she transformed into an anonymous account named married brunette simple and to the point. And what did married brunette want Michelle leaned back in her chair and looked around at her? Dark home office. Just a few rooms down from her. Marty was sleeping maybe snoring again, maybe dreaming of other women. Whatever was happening these nights. It wasn't romantic. It wasn't passionate. It wasn't what she had signed up for when she married him nine years ago. Michelle wanted a life back. She wanted her life back. So she decided to take it for yourself. Finally, all that pent-up anchor was let loose on the keyboard. She didn't need to edit her thoughts at all. They came out quick, raw and unfiltered, as married brunette, Michelle said, exactly what she wanted to say. Sexy brunette seeks rendezvous with the man attractive. Intelligent, very sensual, professional seeks, regular activity partner two to three times a week for long hot passionate, encounters looking for emotionally, stable, very attractive physically fit. Intellectually, stimulating fun. Loving man who is not going bald. Twenty five to thirty five Caucasian drug and disease free over six feet. Tall must live or work in Fayetteville. I turn heads. If you do too, and meet all of the above requirements, let's meet for coffee and see what happens neck. Next will only respond to inquiries that are interesting and stimulating discretion is a must. The deed was done. Michelle had turned a new corner in her life. She was going to cheat on her husband, and she was going to do it as much as she desired, her actions could be classified as retaliatory infidelity. It covers any affair that spawned, as a result of a long term partners own infidelity. In other words, it's revenge David, Chester a psychology professor at Virginia. Commonwealth university said revenge has a biological imperative it exists to keep people from taking advantage of you. So it's protective, but it can go awry, gesture and his colleagues conducted brain scans of test subjects in response to revenge bay scenarios, including retaliatory infidelity, the result illustrated potential link between revenge and powerful but temporary SATA. Inspection in the brain Chester claimed that the part of the ventral stratum or the reward region of the brain was most active when people were seeking revenge against their romantic partner, such results would show there is indeed an addictive feedback loop when it comes to revenge. Some researchers believe that female retaliatory infidelity is more of a tool to dissuade male infidelity in the case of Michelle the're while Marty's perceived infidelity may have put all of this into motion Michelle's infidelity didn't stop even after. She proved she could also sleep with someone else in early two thousand she had a short lived affair with a man named Charles mcclendon, but Michelle kept posting online seeking more partners. The feedback loop took hold, and it soon became personified by one man in particular John diamond. Twenty-eight-year-old diamond was a born soldier. He served in the army for ten years from nineteen eighty nine to nineteen ninety nine over six feet tall. Diamond was a block of solid, muscle and cut out for any task given to him in the service. He attended multiple military schools. Acquiring skills and experience as a ranger surveillance officer sniper and air assault commando, according to Michael Flynn's book the officer's wife, which traces the entire saga of the theaters. Diamond was everything Marty was not spontaneous action oriented self-assured to the point of cockiness and primal when diamond and Michelle, I met and February two thousand it was sexy and passionate from the start what they had an expected to find was something deeper when they. Woke up in each other's arms. Michelle diamond felt a deep comfort an intimacy with one another. They felt love all this, despite the fact that both were now living double lives. Away from a shell diamond slice had been a lot. Like her own diamond had a record of marrying young. He had one child with his own high school sweetheart and another with a woman named lorD' diamond and mortis were together from nineteen Ninety-six to November nineteen ninety nine they were still married in February two thousand but they were legally separated. Meaning diamond himself was also exiting heartbreak into the arms of new lover John diamond and Michelle felt companionship. And how misunderstood they were by the other people in their lives as months went by, and the affair continued the to realize they had both signed their lives away to other people, too early. But now they had the chance to make it right. And true twenty-first-century fashion their love correspondence was conducted over Email. Diamond sent Michelle message after message filled with heartfelt sentiments about the depth of his love and longing. He told Michelle, he had never felt like this about anyone else and he could not imagine living without her now the birth of this new love was well, timed, as mardi was once again, Cinta way on deployments every few weeks during the first half of two thousand Michelle brought John over to the house, as often as possible. She did nothing to hide this from neighbors knowing they would say nothing to Marty. He was as isolated as she was diamond began calling Michelle, his fiance to his friends Marty and diamonds legal wife lorD'. Still knew nothing of this affair. In June two thousand mardi returned home for the summer. He knew things were falling apart with his wife, but he had no idea why and Michelle wasn't telling him anything at all. So they went to a marriage counselor, named Kenneth castleman in their first session. Michelle told the counselor I've changed, and I think mardi needs to recognize that. However, she wasn't honest about the affair. So neither Casselman nor mardi could truly grasp what Michelle meant by this in his notes. However councilman wrote that Michelle was struggling to define freedom for herself, and Marty was struggling to hold onto an old conception of their marriage. In July of two thousand Michelle abruptly moved out of their shared home, only Marty showed up to the next therapy session, councilman probed, hoping to find some source of this convoy. Clicked, but Marty was completely in the dark. The only thing he could even envision that might bother her as his desire to keep a clean home, mardi managed to wrangle Michelle into seeing the chaplain at the air force base due to her own history in the service, Michelle reluctantly. Agreed though it's hard to believe her heart was ever in this effort. She did finally confront her husband about what she found on his computer and Marty admitted to having thoughts about sleeping with other women, however, he assured both Michelle and the chaplain that he had never instigated, any such infidelity in reality. The chaplain had no idea what to do with this feud couple, and their digital drama, their conflict was above his pay grade. Michelle continued living on her own having diamond over every day her personal psychiatrist diagnosed her with depression and put her on a cocktail of anti-depressants anti-anxiety pills and sleeping medication by September two thousand Michelle short term lease ran out, and she moved back in with her husband, but nothing changed. Instead, everything only God worse, her affair continued, and the atmosphere between Michelle and Marty soured. Marty's mother Linda recalled a visit to their home. That was exceedingly awkward Michelle called Marty stupid multiple times and shrugged off the hug. He tried to give her in front of Linda Michelle was running out of patience. She couldn't keep living like this, the double life, she had crafted on the internet was tearing her apart. She needed a clean break. Diamond agreed. But neither had that much money. So Michelle came up with a plan. She made a list of her marriages, assets and debts determining what finances would be split in a divorce case. And then she realized she was due for a windfall in the next year or so Marty would receive his reenlistment bonus anywhere from sixty thousand dollars to two hundred thousand dollars. Michelle told diamond as much they just had to wait a little longer when Marty was flush. They would finally strike out on their own and began their new life together. But little did they know by the end of the year two thousand one point of this love triangle would be dead and gone. When we return, the stress of planning their new life, drives Michelle and John apart until Michelle makes a startling admission that changes the course of all of their lives forever. If you want to know what happens when true love meets true crime. Make sure you head over to Spotify stream episodes of crimes of passion for free. Not only does it already have all of your favorite music. But now Spotify is making it easy for you to enjoy your favorite podcasts like crimes of passion for free from your phone desktop or smart speaker, imagine everything you want to listen to all in one app to stream crimes of passion on Spotify, just open the app tap browse and type crimes of passion in the search bar, or you can head to Spotify dot com slash podcast. And search crimes of passion, be sure to follow crimes of passion and all your favorite podcast shows so you can get new episodes, in your library, as soon as a drop, then you can be entertained, while you're driving cleaning working out or whatever again, go to Spotify dot com slash. Podcasts and search crimes of passion to satisfy your podcast streaming needs for free. Now back to the story. In October of two thousand thirty year old Michelle the're and twenty eight year old John diamond touchdown on the island of Sabe a month. Earlier Michelle had apply to the sable University School of medicine while diamond apply to work at a local scuba shop when they checked into the hotel, they signed in as Mr. and MRs the're, but it was clear. Michelle was planning on treating in that surname. For diamond. The subterfuge would not have to last much longer. This beautiful island would be their future home. The happy couple went out to dinner with William Cornell, the university administrator and then. Michelle diamond flew home to North Carolina on October twenty third never to return. Michelle never contacted Sabe a university again. The timeline here gets murky and this excursion to save us still remains a mystery. But while the exact details are unknown this trip. Represented a symbolic change in this deadly love. Triangle after CBA things would never be the same between Michelle the're and John diamond diamonds, love letters, continued unabated, but Michelle began to ignore them. He kept bringing up the move to save or anywhere, really as long as they were together. He also started speaking of having children with Michelle, the same talk that historically put a damper on her relationship with Marty. When Michelle finally responded on November nineteenth almost a month after the. Trip. She told the truth for the first time in a long time, she simply could not move, again, her entire life had been consumed with constant motion from one place to another. Although she wanted to leave Marty. She also couldn't give time and what he wanted. She wrote I truly mean it when I say, I do not have the physical emotional spiritual or mental energy to consider it, this kicked off an increasingly desperate and frenzied volley of messages from diamond. He refused to give up on Michelle he could not understand why she would ever let go of what they had. He thought the cost of it didn't matter. He thought they both understood that. And if not. Well, then diamond didn't understand how to live anymore, aunt pinned it all on, Michelle. And now she was gone. So on December eleventh, two thousand he emailed, her a suicide note. He said he was going to end it all and Michelle's response of the same Stony silence. Maybe she didn't care. Maybe she didn't believe he would do it if so. She was right. This time diamond reached out again, the next day he told her how he had put the gun to his head and tried to pull the trigger three times. But his love for her held him back. He couldn't kill himself knowing that it might hurt Michelle even when it came down to his own life, he was more attached to her than he was to himself. He informed her. He had returned to his ex lorD', but would never understand why Michelle stayed with Marty even after he heard her, this was the first recorded insinuation, that Marty was abusing Michelle diamond was under the impression that Michelle's husband was physically abusive and had even come close to killing her a few times, as far as the historical record shows. This was most likely a fabrication on Michelle's part, perhaps such lies began in. Innocently enough during pillow talk with diamond in the early months of their affair as Michelle opened up about her emotional troubles in her marriage, she could have slipped in a few white lies that made diamond more dedicated to loving her. She could have even grown attached to these moments of enhanced affection, and devotion. And the lies that created them research has shown that the tendency to lie is self filling, prophecy, reinforced in neural pathways, as a person continues to hide the truth lying gets easier and more rewarding, even if it causes problems or inconsistencies in the real world, this lie about Marty's abuse toward her was the source of all the trouble coming down the line on December sixteenth. Almost a week after his last Email to Michelle diamond was hanging out with some friends at Laura's house, drinking, a little too much, and emotionally ride. By venting to his friends diamond decided to reach out to Michelle, he stepped outside and called her. When diamond rejoined the group he was pale. He slowly explained to his friends. What Michelle had just told him Marty raped her last night. She was enraged and told diamonds, she wanted mardi to die diamonds. Friends agreed urging him to go beat mardi up diamond assured them that he had offered his services. But Michelle turned him down he thought she was opening backup to him. But then she hung up the phone just as quickly as she answered. John diamond was back in the dark or so he told his friends the next day, Michelle's boss, Dr Harbin told her that he wanted to take her and the office manager. Heidi advert Christmas dinner before the holidays began, he was surprised when Michelle told him that Marty would be offended if he wasn't invited to Harbin. Had never known much about Michelle and Marti's relationship, and hadn't even thought to ask, but he acquiesced happily, both Michelle and Heidi should bring their partners along. Mardi was waiting for Michelle, when she arrived home. He felt like they hadn't spent any time together for far too long after their marathon sessions of therapy, and their temporary. Separation mardi truly believe they had turned over a new leaf he greeted her when she arrived home with a smile and awaiting glass of wine for once she didn't seem unhappy to see him either. It almost seemed like the old times when Marty would go home with Michelle after school and help her playhouse with her siblings. It almost felt like they were married again. Then she told him the good news. Dr Harbin had requested that mardi. Join them for Christmas dinner tonight, Marty was overjoyed. Michelle had never let him interact with Harbin that much before. So he didn't know much about her work life. I'm right. He thought to himself things are changing or becoming a real couple again. He was so pleased that he offered to be the, designated driver, Michelle directed Marty as he drove to pick up Heidi and her boyfriend from the office mardi gazed up the building and smiled at his wife. It seemed like a great place to work as Heidi and her boyfriend approached mardi gripped his wife's hand. He told her how much it meant that her boss wanted to make this, a true family affair. Michelle, of course, didn't reveal that she was the real architect of this entire situation with Heidi and her partner on board, mardi, drove them all the way to Raleigh. Another city to meet Harbin and his wife for a fancy Christmas dinner. Afterward. Mardi dropped off Heidi in her boyfriend back at the office, then he put the car in gear to drive wife home. Michelle stopped him sudden worrying her voice. She told him she left something back at her desk. She knew how consider it. He had been on night, and she felt like a klutz, but would he mind turning around mardi saw this as just another opportunity to get back on her good side? Tonight, he would do anything for his wife, Michelle told mardi she would be back in just a few moments. He watched his wife disappear up the parking lot staircase. Even the way she moved seem different to him. There was excitement in her steps, anticipation, mardi knew that meant she was as excited as he was to get back to their home and their bed, so he waited for his wife to return and. For his life to finally begin again. Four minutes later, Michelle was still inside her office when she heard the shots. She rushed back downstairs to the parking lot, only to slam to a halt mardi lay at the bottom of the stairs, leaking blood all over the hard, concrete everything. Since Michelle had I created her own line identity led up to this exact moment as Michelle look down at her dying husband, she screamed. For more information on Michelle and mardi the're amongst the many sources we used. We found the officers wife a true story of unspeakable betrayal, and cold blooded murder by Michael fleekerman extremely helpful to our research. Thanks again for tuning into crimes of passion, we will be back Wednesday with far too, of the story of the theor diamond affair will explore the moment directly following mardi shooting and the years of investigation that followed in its wake you can find more episodes of crimes of passion as well as all park has other shows on Spotify or your favorite podcast. Directory, several of you have asked how to help us, if you enjoy the show, the best way to help is to leave a five star review. Don't forget to follow us on Facebook and Instagram at par cast and Twitter at cast network. We'll see you next time when true love meets true. Crime crimes of passion was created by max Cutler is a production of color media and is part of the park has network. It is produced by Maxon wrong Cutler sound design by Paul liba skinned with production assistance by Ron Shapiro and Paul Moller. Additional production. Assistance by Maggie admire and Freddie Beckley, this episode of crimes of passion was written by Jack. Ben tell I'm Laney homes. If you enjoy stories about heroes, gods monsters and even offense that shaped the earth. Check out the mythology podcast. It takes a deep dive into the history, origins, and meaning of various myths, search for and subscribe to mythology on Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts. Again, search mythology or visit par cast dot com slash mythology till listen now.

Linda Michelle Marty Michelle diamond mardi Michelle Forcier Michelle psychology Michelle dove mardi John diamond Spotify murder Facebook Colorado Twitter partner Dr Thomas Harbin US TPC
Crossover Week: Crimes of Passion (Michelle Carter Pt. 1)

Female Criminals

43:30 min | 4 months ago

Crossover Week: Crimes of Passion (Michelle Carter Pt. 1)

"Hi Listeners due to the unfortunate spread of Kovic Parkhouse has decided to temporarily halt recording. This week we apologize for interrupting. You're listening experience but feel that a necessary precaution to ensure the safety of our hosts and staff on a lighter note. I am thrilled to share with you. Some incredible episodes from another podcast series. I think you'll enjoy called crimes of passion hosted by my good friend. Laney Hobbs crimes of passion features love stories turned bad real bad and the episodes. You're about to hear echo that they're about the text filled romance between Michelle Carter and Conrad Roy. This story sadly includes Roy suicide but it's Carter's actions which are perhaps most shocking. You can hear more tales of love heartbreak theft and murder by following crimes passion on spotify new episodes premiere every Wednesday. Listen free on spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Due to the graphic nature of these crimes listener discretion is advised this episode includes discussions of violence and suicidal idealization. That some people may find offensive. We advise extreme caution for children under the age of thirteen seventeen year old. Alliott ta was searching through her closet looking for something to wear to a graduation party when she hurt her phone. Buzz with the text message it was from an acquaintance. Michelle Carter asking what she was up to. Allie didn't know the other girl very well. They had just started volunteering together at Children's summer camp a few weeks earlier. They'd hardly spoken the alley. Didn't want to be rude so she replied to Michelle's message telling her she was about to head out to a party alley thought that would be the end of it but Michelle kept texting prattling on about her day suddenly out of nowhere. Michelle asked if she had a boyfriend. Allie was surprised. Why was this girl asking so many personal questions? She tried to brush the question off replying. It's complicated but Michelle didn't take the hint. She launched into a story about her own boyfriend. Conrad Michelle that. She was worried about him. He wasn't answering her calls and quote. He's been suicidal alley. Didn't know what to say. She wrote back. Sorry I'm not much help. I just don't really know you or the situation that well a minute later. Michelle's reply popped up ha ha. No it's okay. Don't worry about it and I mean I feel like we are becoming good friends so you'll know me well soon. Allie put your phone away unnerved. Michelle was coming on way too. Strong an alley felt unsettled by all the smiley faces and Ella Wells and Michelle's tax. It was peculiar for someone who claimed to be worried about her suicidal boyfriend. Michelle sure didn't act like it. I. I'm leany Hobbs. And this is crimes of passion a podcast. Original the legal definition of a crime of passion is a violent crime that occurs in the throes of extreme emotion leaving no time to reflect on the consequences but in this show we explore. How passionate relationships sometimes lead us to criminal activity? How does a husband and wife become killer and victim or killer and co-conspirator if there's a thin line between love and hate what manipulates relationships into deadly results? You can find episodes of crimes of passion and all other parkas originals for free on spotify over. Ever you listen to podcasts. To stream crimes of passion for free on spotify. Just open the APP and type crimes of passion in the search bar at podcast. We are grateful for you. Our listeners will allow us to do what we love. Let us know how we're doing reach out on facebook and Instagram at podcast and twitter at podcast network? And if you enjoy today's episode the best way to help is to leave a five star review where you're listening. It really does help us this week. We'll discuss the intense relationship between two Massachusetts teenagers. Conrad Roy and Michelle Carter. Although the only met in person a handful of times they exchanged thousands of messages through text and facebook developing a close bond but both struggled with serious mental health issues. Their troubles only grew worse over the course of their two year on again off again long distance relationship until the intimacy they shared became toxic and destructive next week. We'll talk about the tragic end of Michelle and Conrad's relationship and the highly publicized groundbreaking legal case that followed Michelle. Carter was born on August Eleventh. Nineteen ninety-six by all accounts. She had an unremarkable childhood. Her Father David was a sales manager and her mother Gail worked in real estate. Michelle grew up on a quiet cul de sac in Plainville Massachusetts a suburb located about twenty eight miles southwest of Boston friends and neighbors in the community described Michelle as a kind well and thoughtful child but from a young age. She's struggled with mental health issues. She reportedly suffered from violent night terrors. When she was little she later told a friend. I used to bring my head on the walls and scream and when I woke up I had no idea what happened when she was only eleven years old. Michelle developed an eating disorder before I continue with Michelle Psychology. Please note that I am not a licenced psychiatrist or psychologist but I have done a lot of research for the show. The causes of eating disorders are not fully understood but eating disorder therapist. Jennifer Rolin has said that people struggling with eating disorders often turn to their eating disorder behaviors in an unconscious effort to try to help themselves feel better and a co with difficulty motions. Rolling added that disordered eating is a self soothing behavior and response to feelings of anxiety. Sadness or loneliness in two thousand ten. Michelle's parents admitted her into an inpatient program at a psychiatric hospital. Michelle's medical records indicate that the fourteen year old way just eighty six pounds. Her blood pressure was dangerously low and she had chronic liver dysfunction as a result of her anorexia in February of two thousand eleven. Michelle's primary care doctor prescribed her PROZAC as a part of her treatment plan. The drug seemed to help Michelle gain weight but it didn't eliminate Michelle's disordered eating patterns. Michelle's mother reported that the teen was prone to episodes of binge eating followed by compulsive exercising. Michelle also told her peers that she felt suicidal at times and that she struggled with self injury she described herself as lonely. Although she wasn't unpopular she had trouble making close friends. She once confided in a classmate that she didn't feel like she had any real friends and that nobody ever asked her to hang out after school. She texted another friend. Stop telling me how wonderful and beautiful I am because beautiful girls get invited to parties and their friends call and want to hang out. They don't spend Friday nights alone. Clinical Psychiatrist Peter. Bergen later said. There's no question that Michelle is always asking people to love her. A lot of her friends couldn't reciprocate because she's two desperate. She so needy into whole. No one can fill. Dr Bragan believed that Michelle behave this way because she suffered from anxiety and depression. Michelle self esteem issues. Were not necessarily uncommon. In a study commissioned by the Dove Self Esteem Fund researchers found that seventy percent of teen girls feel about their looks performance in school and relationships with friends and family members. But even if Michelle's feelings were common they still cost her significant distress and she used unhealthy coping mechanisms such as disordered eating and self injury to cope with her insecurity. All Michelle wanted was someone who understood her and in February of two thousand twelve. She thought she had found that person that winter fifteen year old. Michelle went to visit her grandmother in Naples Florida. There she met Conrad. Roy The third Conrad was visiting his great aunt. A few houses down from where Michelle was staying born. September Twelfth Nineteen ninety-five Conrad was just a year older than Michelle. He was also from Massachusetts specifically the coastal town of Mattapoisett. About an hour. South of where Michelle lived in Plainville Conrad's great aunt was friends with Michelle's grandmother. The two women introduced the teens and encourage them to go on a bike ride together. Conrad and Michelle Road to the beach talked and flirted Michelle leader. Said she liked Conrad right away. She said she could tell he liked to because he asked if she had a boyfriend. When they're Florida trip ended they decided to keep in touch for months. The exchanged messages by text and facebook communicating with each other on a daily basis by the summer of two thousand twelve. They were calling each other girlfriend and boyfriend like Michelle. Conrad also struggled with mental health issues in two thousand eleven. When he was sixteen years old he was hit particularly hard by his parents acrimonious divorce. He began to suffer from depression and social anxiety when his grades dropped in school. He told his parents. It was because he had insomnia racing thoughts and gaps in his memory. His parents took him to therapists. The Conrad couldn't seem to tell them or parents the extent of his depression. He later said he had trouble expressing himself in therapy and he thought even if he could explain how he felt. He didn't think anyone was capable of helping him any way although his family knew he was struggling they didn't know that he was experiencing thoughts of self harm and suicide conroy. Didn't share these thoughts with Michelle either. At first their relationship was still fairly casual. In fact. Conrad wasn't the only person Michelle was interested in in the summer of two thousand twelve while she kept up her online relationship with Conrad. Michelle developed a bond with another girl on her softball team Alice. The girls texted and messaged each other constantly. They frequently spent the night at each other's houses according to Michelle although Alice later denied it. This was more than a friendship. Michelle said I thought it was a phase at first like I thought we were just really good friends but we started talking like people in a relationship would flirting and stuff. Michelle also said that. Alice was her first kiss but Alice's mother. Kelly didn't like the girls spending so much time together. Kelly later said she felt suspicious of Michelle. Right away something about the girl seemed phony. She reasoned no kid. Is that Nice at one point. Kelly tried to confiscate his phone to keep the girls from texting each other allies. Try to trick her by handing over an old phone. Kelly also discovered that Alice had made a secret facebook account so that the girls could continue to speak finally in the early fall of two thousand twelve. She forbade alice from seeing Michelle. Alice obeyed her mother. She blocked Michelle on social media and stopped responding to her calls and tax. Michelle was devastated. She later texted a friend. I never cry about things but I cry over her. I cried telling my therapist about her. Today I don't know why she has such a big impact on me. She just does. Michelle told another classmate that she hadn't felt happy. Since the friendship ended Alice's rejection had heard her more than anything. But Michelle didn't appear to let on to Conrad Roy that. She was depressed about Alice in messages to him around this time. She sounded upbeat and relaxed. They bantered and slung teasing insults at one another. They spoke about their favorite music. He chatted about his rowing team. She talked about basketball practice. There was little in these messages to suggest that both teams were in an intense amount of pain because Conrad was also in a dark place in the fall of two thousand twelve despite therapy his suicidal aviation had increased in October. Seventeen year old. Conrad waited until his mother left. The house then swallowed two bottles of tylenol plus a bottle of nyquil however he immediately regretted his decision. He texted a friend Arianna and told her he was sick. He asked her to call his mother for him Conrad's mother. Lynn returned home and rushed him to the hospital. Conrad promised his mother that he would never try anything like that again but he still felt depressed alone and scared. Conran didn't know how much longer he could go on. It was agony trying to live each day. As if everything were normal it would be a relief to just let the mask fall and to let everyone see who he really was but he was afraid of what they would think if they saw the real Conrad maybe they would hate him as much as he hated himself. Conrad ached for relief for understanding for salvation. But he didn't know where to begin looking for it. Perhaps it would help if even just one person understood him. Maybe that would make him feel as if he had something or someone to live four on October. Ten and two thousand twelve Conrad's Michelle facebook message. He asked do you care what's been happening to me. She responded immediately. What's been happening with that? Conrad opened up to her about his suicide attempt. He warned her. I'm not the person you thought. It was as if preparing for her to reject him but Michelle. Didn't she called him? One of the most amazing is she'd ever met telling him how happy he made her. She told him that she wanted to help him get better. That intense conversation signaled a shift in their relationship. They became each other's confidants sharing their darkest thoughts with one another. Even though they were miles apart dealing with a world of pain now they were in it together up next Conrad and Michelle continue to spiral as their communications become more frequent and more toxic now back to the story in the fall of two thousand twelve. Seventeen year old conroy and sixteen year old. Michelle Carter or eight months deep in an on again off again long distance relationship text and social media. When Conrad attempted suicide that October he reached out to Michelle for help the to exchange messages every day even multiple times a day. Their families had no idea. The relationship was so intense. Conrad's mother knew he had made a friend in Florida the year before but she thought they were just acquaintances in reality. Conrad was sharing his deepest secrets with Michelle including that he still felt suicidal. He told her he was trying to decide between three methods of killing himself drowning. Overdosing on sleeping pills or hanging. Michelle begged him not to go through with it. She told him he was scaring her. She tried to convince him that he had a lot to live for but at the same time she also romanticized death in one of their conversations. Conran told Michelle that he was worried. He permanently damaged his liver with his tylenol overdose. Michelle told him that. Her anorexia had damaged her liver as well. She pointed out that they both could have died from liver failure than avid. We would die together and be in heaven together forever. Conrad made similar grandiose statements although his took an even more macabre turn in November of two thousand twelve a few weeks after Conrad attempted suicide. He told Michelle that he had experience to loosen nations of Satan while he was in the hospital. Michelle told 'em she had seen Satan to in her nightmares. Conrad responded maybe. We were meant to be together. The devil brought us together. He described a future in which both their souls would suffer in hell for eternity. Conrad Advice Michelle to start praying every night and she promised that she would although Conran was the first to mention Satan. Michelle seemed captivated by this fantasy that the devil was controlling their lives. The next morning Michelle agonize to Conrad that. She was the devil's child. She messaged him. He wants both of us. You're the only one who understands. Michelle seemed eager to turn their relationship into something epic. They weren't just boyfriend and girlfriend. They were soulmates. Locked in a battle against pure evil the only way they'd overcome it would be by supporting one another. Michelle tried to fit their relationship and to a storybook romance as best she could. She loved the show Glee and actress. Leeann Michelle was her idol sometime sheets and Conrad quotes from the shell pretending they were her own words what she and Conrad had was bigger than real life. Only her fictional idols could convey how Michelle felt but her intense feelings weren't always reciprocated by Conrad. Sometimes they talk lead into the night and declare their love for each other other times. He'd seemed dismissive of Michelle and her problems. Michelle and Conrad liked to tease each other. But sometimes his taunts turned nasty. He'd say things like go for a run fatty. Even though he knew her history of disordered eating he told her she looked gross in her facebook profile picture. Sometimes he badgered Michelle about when they might be able to meet in person so they could have sex but she wasn't ready yet. She worried that her friends would judge her. He responded that she was being dumb by early. Two thousand thirteen their connection seemed to have dwindled. Michelle continued to send messages. She felt were romantic. She told him you're the one I think I've been waiting to find. Conrad responded curtly. You said that before other times he refused to answer her at all. Michelle was heartbroken and angry. She later told him I was there for you and I helped you and you just forgot about me. Conrad may have pulled away from the relationship do troubles in his home life in February of two thousand thirteen the seventeen year old got into a violent altercation with his father. Police were called to the house and his father was arrested for assault and domestic battery. Conrad's father later. Said he was trying to discipline his son but it got out of control. Whatever drove them apart. Conrad and Michelle apparently broke up but on October tenth. Two thousand thirteen. Michelle sent him a message telling him how important he was to her. He asked her why she had messaged him. She wrote that she was watching a glee tribute episode to the late actor Cory Monte. She said it made her realise how much she loved him. And how much? She would miss him if he were gone. When Conrad didn't answer she asked. Do you think we will get married? He didn't respond. Michelle's intensity was too much for Conrad. A few months later they stopped talking and he began dating someone else. Michelle was crushed. She talked about them spending their lives together now suddenly he was gone for Conrad. It seemed easier to move on outwardly. His life seemed to be going well. He began thinking about the future. In the spring of two thousand fourteen. He took night courses at the northeast. Maritime Institute and earned his captain's licence so that he could work for his father's marine towing and salvage company here in good grades during his senior year in high school and he was accepted to Fitchburg State University with a full scholarship but around the same time. Eighteen year old Conrad's mental health took another downturn. At one point he went to go visit a friend Tom at Fitchburg state but instead of making him feel excited about his future the trip made him feel welcomed and out of place Conrad sat rigidly on the bed watching his friend. Tom Talk and laugh with a group of his friends gathered in the dorm room. He sees jealousy. He didn't understand why it was so easy for everyone else and so difficult for him. Everyone else could crack jokes. Tell stories or come up with interesting things to say. All he could do was sit there. He knew that if he opened his mouth anything that came out with sound stupid. His face felt hot and his palms were sweaty. He wondered if they were all thinking. About how awkward he was how boring. They must be wondering why Tom was even friends with him. Conrad wished he could just stand up and walk out without anyone noticing him. He wished he could disappear. He wished he didn't exist after the trip. Conrad told his mother he was feeling anxious and having trouble. Sleeping after months of silence reached out to Michelle and told her he was feeling depressed. Again it was a difficult time for Michelle as well in March. Her doctor took off PROZAC and switched her to a different medication. Selecta Michelle that her disordered eating symptoms grew worse after the switch given their volatile past and her own struggles. Michelle seemed conflicted about resuming communications with Conrad in late April. She texted a friend that she was finally starting to get over the relationship until his tax brought back old feelings she wrote. I hate him but I also really care about him in her relationship with Conrad. Michelle seemed to feel many emotions at once. Fear love anxiety and excitement. It's NOT UNCOMMON FOR ADOLESCENTS. To experience many feelings at the same time but they often have difficulties processing them in a two thousand eighteen study from Harvard and the University of Washington. Researchers studied emotion differentiation. Which is the ability to know and accurately labeled distinct emotions and yourself. The stability is particularly difficult for teens. Compared to both adults and children children usually only experience one emotion at a time. Which makes it easy for them to identify what they are feeling. Adults may have many emotions at once but they have usually learned to correctly. Identify them teens. In contrast have not yet learned to distinguish between their different feelings lead author. Eric Nook stated that adolescence is a period of more murkiness and what emotions one is feeling. He also stated that this may make it more difficult for teens to differentiate and regulate their emotions. Michelle in particular may have had even more difficulty processing motions than other teens. A two thousand nine study by lead author clear yet found that women with Anorexia and lower levels of self reported emotional awareness and expression than the control group. This inability to identify and regulate emotions can have negative consequences in another study. Led by University of Michigan Author Emery Morale. Researchers found that people who lacked the ability to differentiate. These particular emotional states from each other or from a general feeling of unpleasantness. Might choose actions that are not appropriate to the current context and might exacerbate the problem. Michelle's friends advised her that she should be careful about getting involved with Conrad again. One said I think that you talking to Conrad isn't good for you. Another warned her. He seems like bad news but Michelle couldn't seem to resist her old flame. She brushed off her friends. Concern saying I don't want to lose him he was my first love. Michelle and Conrad fell into a familiar pattern of discussing their mental health issues. She seemed eager to help him work through his problems when he talked about how uncomfortable he was in group settings she sent him links to articles on how to deal with social anxiety on June first. Two thousand fourteen. Michelle texted him that she was planning on checking herself into an inpatient treatment program for her eating disorder. She wanted Conrad to consider checking himself into telling him that he needed professional help. Conrad rejected this idea. He didn't want people telling him what to do. He wanted to manage his problems himself. He swore that he'd continue to see a therapist and take his medication. But Michelle didn't think. That was enough. She was worried. She told them she was afraid that if he didn't take more drastic steps to get help he become suicidal again. Conrad promised her that he was no longer considering suicide. Michelle seemed reassured at that point. Conrad didn't let onto Michelle. How much his despair was beginning to overwhelm him but he wouldn't be able to keep it a secret from her for a long coming up. Conrad Leans more and more Michelle for support but the encouragement. She offers him. Takes a disturbing turn now back to the story on June nine two thousand twelve seventeen year old Michelle Carter checked into McLean hospital in Belmont Massachusetts to receive treatment for her eating disorder. It may have been difficult for her to focus on her recovery even in a dedicated programme her boyfriend eighteen year old. Conrad Roy Texted and called her for help with his own problems throughout her. Stay his messages. Were sometimes frantic. Like I really need to talk. It's urgent Michelle seemed overwhelmed. Her treatment programs rigid schedule. Didn't allow her to drop everything to take calls. She apologized profusely to him when she couldn't respond. Conrad began slipping in comments. Letting her know he was thinking about suicide again at one point. Michelle texted him that they should plan to meet up when she was out of the hospital. He responded if I make it. That far Conrad's Internet search history presents a bleak picture of his mindset at the time he google phrases like is there a hell. And can you go to heaven if you commit suicide on June nineteenth two thousand twelve. Michelle again asked him to promise that he wouldn't consider taking his life. He told her I want to but nothing. Is that bad two days later. Michelle left the hospital and returned home. Conrad asked if she wanted to hang out then seemed angry that she had already made plans with other friends. He accused her of not making time for him but when she asked to hang out a few days later he replied brusquely. That now he was busy is hot and cold behavior. Confused Michelle on June twenty second. She told a friend that she knew talking to. Conrad wasn't good for her but she wasn't sure how to stop either around the same time. She told classmates that she still held intense feelings for old best friend Alice. Even though it had been two years and say stop seeing each other. These feelings confused her. She didn't want to accept that she might be bisexual. Between Conrad's depression and Michelle sexual confusion life was becoming overwhelming for the two teenagers on June. Twenty six two thousand fourteen. Conrad Texted Michelle. I give up. She responded worried. Conrad do not going to do anything right. When he gave her vague responses she grew more insistent pleading with him asking him to reassure her that he wasn't going to harm himself when Conrad finally told her he was okay. Michelle snapped at him then. Stop saying you're going to do it if you aren't going to. I don't want you to say it if you don't mean it because then I worry later on that same day. Conrad wrote to her. We should be like Romeo and Juliet at the end. Michelle thought it was a romantic gesture until Conrad reminded her of how the play ended. She emphatically told him that she had no intention of dying. Michelle was clearly becoming overwhelmed by her role. As Conrad's confidante and Lifeline the role. She played in his life feeling responsible for shepherding. His mental health could be comparable to that of a caregiver a two thousand sixteen study presented by the National Alliance for caregiving surveyed over sixteen hundred individuals. Who acted as a caretaker for someone with mental illness? The study found that seventy four percent of respondents reported feeling high emotional stress and over half of those surveyed felt that caregiving made their own health. Worse a nineteen ninety nine study by Janice H Jenkins and John G Schumacher also found that of all the symptoms displayed by mentally ill. Patients caregivers were most distressed by demonstrations of misery. Michelle witness Conrad Suffering Day After Day. Perhaps she started to crack under the pressure on June twenty nine. She texted part of me. Wants you to try something and fail just so you can go get help the next day. She took it a step further when Conrad told her he was going to try to order poisonous seeds online. She responded why. Don't you just drink bleach? By the beginning of July. She'd stop trying to convince him to go to the hospital or seek help instead. When he spoke of killing himself she replied. Jesus will take care of you babe. You'll be happy and protected and heaven. I just want you to finally be happy. And if this is the only way you think you're going to be happy heaven will welcome you with. Open arms. This was exactly what Conrad wanted to hear. It seems that this is when Conrad felt something shift in his mind. It was like a heavy burden had just rolled off his back. Michelle really understood him. Everyone else trying to convince them to be happy. They tried to persuade him that he should stay alive and made him feel guilty like he had to stay alive just to please everyone else now. Here was Michelle saying that. He didn't have to keep struggling. He could just let go and Michelle loved him. Conrad didn't think she'd ever tried to hurt him. If she said it was okay to die. Then maybe it was. Perhaps it wasn't such a big deal. It may be the only way he'd ever find peace. Maybe it was finally time. It isn't clear what Michelle's mindset was at the time she later said she was using reverse psychology hoping that by encouraging Conrad Suicidal idealization. He realized he was being irrational. Or maybe she really thought that she was helping him escape his pain she could have considered it an act of compassionate euthanasia. These are the more charitable explanations for Michelle's behavior but some have speculated that she was acting out more psychopathic tendencies. Perhaps Michelle felt emboldened by her ability to manipulate Conrad in one interview about the case clinical psychologist and author. Seth Meyers said. A person may try to coerce another into suicide to gain a sense of power or gratification. The thinking is if I can get this person to do the most extreme or outlandish thing ever. I could get this person to do anything so I think that this was gratifying. For this girl to have this degree of power or control over him and that is the piece that seems most related to psychopathy because we know that psychopaths are oriented around winning and power above all else. Another possibility is that Michelle was simply ready for the relationship to end and she cruelly thought that Conrad staff was the easiest way out there. Some evidence that. Michelle wanted to move on that July. She was working as volunteers sports coach at a summer camp. She met another girl there. Alley a fellow coach. She texted a friend that she liked alley. She hadn't felt that way about another girl since Alice. Michelle didn't tell Conrad about the feelings she had for someone else. By then most of their communications revolved around Conrad's suicidal thoughts on July second. Michelle began asking Conrad when he was going to go through with the suicide she also tried to convince him that his family would be okay if he died. Conrad asked her. How would you feel if your sister killed herself? Michelle responded the. She would be devastated at first but that she did eventually find a way to cope and move on. Michelle went on to say that. Conrad could be his sister's guardian angel if he passed away the next day. She asked him again if he planned to go through with the suicide. He told her he wanted to go off into the woods and tape a plastic bag over his head. She asked him if you're going to do a last tweet. Can it be about me and tag me when Conrad Texted her? The next day still alive. Michelle was angry. She felt like he was making a fool out of her. She furiously texted him. You light about this whole thing. You said you were going to go to the woods and do it she added. I poured my heart out to you thinking. This was going to be the last time I talked to you. I thought you really wanted to die but apparently you don't I feel played and just stupid. Conrad assured her that he still wanted to kill himself. He was just researching the least painful ways to do it. Michelle asked him on. She suggested that he find a way to overdose on heroin so he could be like Corey Monte eighth then she could be his Leah Michelle. Conrad Laugh this method off as a joke but he still was serious about taking concrete steps to end his life on July seventh. He told Michelle that he was planning on stealing a portable generator from work. He decided that he would drive to an empty parking lot and seal himself up in his truck with a generator running until they produce enough carbon monoxide to fill the truck cab and suffocate him. Michelle approved plan over the next two days. She hounded him about when exactly. He was picking up the generator on July ninth. Conrad brought the generator home from work. He told her he was ready to go through with his plan around eleven pm that night. Conrad Texted Michelle. That he was about to do it and that he loved her. She asked if he was serious whether he had really turned on the generator he didn't answer. She texted him several more times. Conrad please answer me right now. You're scaring me. Conrad texted her around ten o'clock the next morning telling her he was okay. The generator had stopped working. They exchanged text back and forth about what he should do. Next bizarrely even though. Michelle knew that Conrad was all right. She texted her other friends that morning telling them that Conrad was missing. She seemed to want to elicit their sympathy. She wrote to a friend that she was losing. That Conrad was still alive. She said she couldn't understand why he wasn't responding to her in reality. Conrad was answering Michelle's messages. They had been texting nonstop in those messages. Conrad told her he had fixed the generator. Michelle was pleased. She told him. You're ready babe you can do it. Thanks again for tuning into crimes of passion. We will be back Wednesday with party to a Michelle. Carter and Conroy Story. We'll talk about the tragic end of their relationship and the heated public reaction that followed. You can find more episodes of crimes of passion and all other podcast originals for free on spotify. Not only spotify already. Have all of your favorite music? The now spotify is making it easy for you to enjoy. All of your favorite podcast originals. Like crimes of passion for Free From Your Phone. Desktop or smart speaker to stream crimes of passion on spotify. Just open the APP and type crimes of passion in the search bar and don't forget to follow us on facebook and Instagram. At podcast and twitter at podcast network. We'll see you next time. When true love meets to crime crimes of passion was created by Max Cutler and his podcast studios original executive producers include maxine Ron Cutler sound design by Trent Williamson with production assistance by Ron Shapiro Carly Madden and Freddie Beckley. This episode of Crimes Of Passion was written by Christina. Tammy's with writing assistance by Abigail Hanan. I'm Laney hops.

Conrad Michelle Conrad Michelle Carter Conrad Roy Michelle Psychology Michelle leader facebook Michelle facebook Michelle Road Alice spotify anorexia Massachusetts Laney Hobbs Florida Allie Kovic Parkhouse Conran PROZAC
Michelle Carter Pt. 1

Crimes of Passion

45:26 min | 5 months ago

Michelle Carter Pt. 1

"Due to the graphic nature of these crimes listener discretion is advised this episode includes discussions violence and suicidal idealization. That some people may find offensive. We advise extreme caution for children under the age of Thirteen. Seventeen year old Elliot. Ta was searching through her closet looking for something to wear to a graduation party when she heard her phone. Buzz with the text message it was from an acquaintance. Michelle Carter asking what she was up to. Allie didn't know the other girl very well. They had just started volunteering together at a children's summer camp a few weeks earlier. They hardly spoken but Allie didn't want to be rude so she replied to Michelle's message telling her she was about to head out to a party alley thought that would be the end of it but Michelle kept texting prattling on about her day suddenly out of nowhere. Michelle asked if she had a boyfriend. Allie was surprised. Why was this girl asking so many personal questions? She tried to brush the question off replying. It's complicated but Michelle didn't take the hint. She launched into a story about her own boyfriend. Conrad Michelle confess that. She was worried about him. He wasn't answering her calls and quote. He's been suicidal alley. Didn't know what to say. She wrote back. Sorry I'm not much help. I just don't really know you or the situation that while a minute later. Michelle's reply popped up Haha. No it's okay. Don't worry about it and I mean I feel like we are becoming good friends so you'll know me well soon. Allie put her phone away. Unnerved Michelle was coming on way too strong an alley felt unsettled by all the smiley faces and lol's Michelle's tax. It was peculiar for someone who claimed to be worried about her suicidal boyfriend. Michelle sure didn't act like it. I. I'm leaning Hobbs. And this is crimes of passion a podcast. Original the legal definition of a crime of passion is a violent crime that occurs in the throes of extreme emotion leaving no time to reflect on the consequences but in this show we explore. How passionate relationships sometimes lead us to criminal activity? Al Does a husband and wife become killer and victim or killer and co-conspirator if there's a thin line between love and hate what manipulates our relationships into deadly results. You can find episodes of crimes of passion and all other park asked originals for free on spotify over ever. You listen to podcasts to stream crimes of passion for free on spotify. Just open the APP type crimes of passion in the search bar at podcast. We are grateful for you our listeners. You allow us to do what we love. Let us know how we're doing reach out on facebook and Instagram at podcast and twitter at podcast network? And if you enjoy today's episode the best way to help is to leave a five star review wherever you're listening. It really does help us this week. We'll discuss the intense relationship between two Massachusetts teenagers. Conrad Roy and Michelle Carter. Although they only met in person a handful of times they exchanged thousands of messages through text and facebook developing close bond but both struggled with serious mental health issues. Their troubles only grew worse over the course of their two year on again off again long distance relationship until the intimacy they shared became toxic and destructive next week. We'll talk about the tragic end of Michelle and Conrad's relationship and the highly publicized groundbreaking legal case that followed Michelle. Carter was born on August Eleventh. Nineteen ninety-six by all accounts. She had an unremarkable childhood. Her Father David was a sales manager and her mother Gail worked in real estate. Michelle grew up on a quiet cul de sac in Plainville Massachusetts a suburb located about twenty eight miles southwest of Boston friends and neighbors in the community. Describe Michelle as a kind. Well liked and thoughtful child but from a young age. She struggled with mental health issues. She reportedly suffered from violent nightmares when she was little. She later told a friend. I used to being my head on the walls and scream and when I woke up I had no idea what happened when she was only eleven years old. Michelle developed an eating disorder before I continue with Michelle Psychology. Please note that I am not a licenced psychiatrist or psychologist but I have done a lot of research for the show. The causes of eating disorders are not fully understood but eating disorder. Their Best Jennifer Rowland has said that people struggling with eating disorders often turn to their eating disorder behaviors in an unconscious effort to try to help themselves feel better and to cope with difficult emotions. Rolling added that disordered. Eating is a self soothing behavior in response to feelings of anxiety. Sadness or loneliness in two thousand ten. Michelle's parents admitted her into an inpatient program at a psychiatric hospital. Michelle's medical records indicate that the fourteen year old way just eighty six pounds. Her blood pressure was dangerously low and she had chronic liver dysfunction as a result of her anorexia in February of two thousand eleven. Michelle's primary care doctor prescribed her PROZAC as a part of her treatment plan. The drug seemed to help Michelle gain weight but it didn't eliminate Michelle's disordered eating patterns. Michelle's mother reported that the teen was prone to episodes of binge eating followed by compulsive exercising. Michelle also told her peers that she felt suicidal at times and that she struggled with self injury she described herself as lonely. Although she wasn't unpopular she had trouble making close friends. She wants confided in a classmate that she didn't feel like she had any real friends and that nobody ever asked her to hang out after school. She texted another friend. Stop telling me how wonderful and beautiful I am because beautiful girls get invited to parties and their friends call and want to hang out. They don't spend Friday nights alone. Clinical Psychiatrist Peter Bragan leader said. There's no question that Michelle is always asking people to love her. A lot of her friends couldn't reciprocate because she's two desperate. She so needy. It's a whole no one can fill. Dr Bragan believed that Michelle behave this way because she suffered from anxiety and depression. Michelle self esteem. Issues were not necessarily uncommon. In a study commissioned by the Dove self-esteem Fund researchers found that seventy percent of teen girls feel insecure about their looks performance in school and relationships with friends and family members. But even if Michelle's feelings were common they still cost her significant distress and she used unhealthy coping mechanisms such as disordered eating and self injury to cope with her insecurity. All Michelle wanted was someone who understood her and in February of two thousand twelve. She thought she had found that person that winter fifteen year old. Michelle went to visit her grandmother in Naples Florida. There she met Conrad. Roy The third Conrad was visiting his great aunt. A few houses down from where Michelle was staying born. September Twelfth Nineteen ninety-five Conrad was just a year older than Michelle. He was also from Massachusetts specifically the coastal town of Mattapoisett amount. An hour south of where Michelle lived in Plainville Conrad's great aunt was friends with Michelle's grandmother. The two women introduced the teens and encourage them to go on a bike ride together. Conrad and Michelle wrote to the beach talked and flirted. Michelle leader. Said she liked Conrad right away. She said she could tell he liked her too because he asked if she had a boyfriend. When they're Florida trip ended. They decided to keep in touch for months. They exchanged messages by texts and facebook communicating with each other on a daily basis. By the summer of two thousand twelve. They were calling each other girlfriend and boyfriend like Michelle. Conrad also struggled with mental health issues in two thousand eleven. When he was sixteen years old he was hit particularly hard by his parents acrimonious divorce. He began to suffer from depression and social anxiety when his grades dropped in school. He told his parents. It was because he had insomnia racing thoughts and gaps in his memory. His parents took him to therapists. The Conrad couldn't seem to tell them or his parents. The extent of his depression he later said he had trouble expressing himself and therapy and he thought even if he could explain how he felt. He didn't think anyone was capable of helping him any way. Although his family knew he was struggling they didn't know that he was experiencing thoughts of self harm and suicide. Conrad didn't share these thoughts with Michelle. Either at first their relationship was still fairly casual in fact. Conrad wasn't the only person. Michelle was interested in in the summer of two thousand twelve while she kept up her online relationship with Conrad. Michelle developed bond with another girl on her softball team Alice. The girls texted message to each other constantly. They frequently spent the night at each other's houses according to Michelle although Alice later denied it. This was more than a friendship. Michelle said I thought it was a phase at first like I thought we were just really good friends but we started talking like people in a relationship would flirting and stuff. Michelle also said that. Alice was her first kiss but Alice's mother. Kelly didn't like the girl spending so much time together. Kelly later said she felt suspicious of Michelle. Right away something about the girl seemed phony. She reasoned no kid. Is that Nice at one point. Kelly tried to confiscate Alice's phone to keep the girls from texting each other allies. Try to trick her by handing over an old phone. Kelly also discovered that Alice had made a secret facebook account so that the girls could continue to speak finally in the early fall of two thousand twelve. She forbade Alice from seeing Michelle Alice obey her mother. She blocked Michelle on social media and stopped responding to calls and tax. Michelle was devastated. She later texted a friend. I never cry about things but I cry over her. I cried telling my therapist about her. Today I don't know why she has such a big impact on me. She just does. Michelle told another classmate that she hadn't felt happy. Since the friendship ended Alice's rejection had heard her more than anything. But Michelle didn't appear to let onto Conrad Roy that. She was depressed about Alice in messages to him around this time. She sounded upbeat and relaxed. They bantered and Sung teasing insults at one another. They spoke about their favorite music. He chatted about his rowing team. She talked about basketball practice. There was little in these messages to suggest that both teams were in an intense amount of pain because Conrad was also on a dark place. In the fall of two thousand twelve despite therapy his suicidal idealization had increased in. October seventeen year old. Conrad waited until his mother left the house. Then swallow to hold bottles of tylenol plus a bottle of nyquil however he immediately regretted his decision. He texted a friend Arianna and told her he was sick. He asked her to call his mother for him Conrad's mother. Lynn returned home and rushed him to the hospital. Conrad promised his mother that he would never try anything like that again but he still felt depressed alone and scared. Conroy didn't know how much longer he could go on. It was agony trying to live each day. As if everything were normal it would be a relief to just let the mask fall and to let everyone see who he really was but he was afraid of what they would think if they saw the real Conrad maybe they would hate him as much as he hated himself. Conrad ached for relief for understanding for salvation. But he didn't know where to begin looking for it. Perhaps it would help if even just one person understood him. Maybe that would make him feel as if he had something or someone to live for on October tenth. Two Thousand Twelve Conrad's sent Michelle facebook message. He asked do you care what's been happening to me. She responded immediately. What's been happening with fat? Conrad opened up to her about his suicide attempt. He warned her. I'm not the person you thought. It was as if preparing for her to reject him but Michelle. Didn't she called him? One of the most amazing guys. She'd ever met telling him how happy he made her. She told him that she wanted to help him get better. That intense conversation signaled a shift in their relationship. They became each other's confidants sharing their darkest thoughts with one another. Even though they were miles apart dealing with a world of pain now they were in it together up next Conrad and Michelle continued to spiral as their communications. Become more frequent and more toxic. This episode is brought to you by the completely reimagined. Twenty twenty four escape not too long ago. Dr Seemed a lot simpler. Streets were less congested. 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Freon spotify over ever. Get Your podcasts now. Back to the story in the fall of two thousand twelve seventeen year old Conrad Roy and sixteen year old. Michelle Carter or eight months deep in an on again off again. Long distance relationship over text and social media. When Conrad attempted suicide that October he reached out to Michelle for help the to exchange messages every day even multiple times a day. Their families had no idea. The relationship was so intense. Conrad's mother knew he had made a friend in Florida the year before but she thought they were just acquaintances in reality. Conrad was sharing his deepest secrets with Michelle including that he still felt suicidal. He told her he was trying to decide between three methods of killing himself drowning. Overdosing on sleeping pills or hanging. Michelle begged him not to go through with it. She told him he was scaring her. She tried to convince him that he had a lot to live for. But at the same time she also romanticized death in one of their conversations. Conrad told Michelle that he was worried. He permanently damaged his liver with his tylenol overdose. Michelle told him that. Her anorexia had damaged her liver as well. She pointed out that they both have died from liver failure than avid. We will die together and be in heaven together forever. Conrad made similar grandiose statements although his took an even more macabre turn in November of two thousand twelve a few weeks after Conrad attempted suicide. He told Michelle that he had experienced hallucinations of Satan while he was in the hospital. Michelle told 'em she had seen Satan to in her nightmares. Conrad responded maybe. We were meant to be together. The devil brought us together. He described a future in which both their souls would suffer in hell for eternity. Conrad Advise Michelle to start praying every night and she promised that she would although Conrad was the first to mention Satan. Michelle seemed captivated by this fantasy that the devil was controlling their lives the next morning. Michelle agonize Tha Conrad that. She was the devil's child. She messaged him. He wants both of us. You're the only one who understands. Michelle seemed eager to turn their relationship into something epic. They weren't just boyfriend and girlfriend. They were soulmates. Locked in a battle against pure evil the only way they'd overcome it would be by supporting one another. Michelle tried to fit their relationship and to a storybook romance as best she could. She loved the show Glee and actress. Leeann Michelle was her idol sometimes she'd send Conrad quotes from the show pretending they were her own words what she and Conrad had was bigger than real life. Only her fictional idols could convey machel felt but her intense feelings weren't always reciprocated by Conrad. Sometimes they talk lead into the night and declare their love free other other times. He'd seemed dismissive of Michelle and her problems. Michelle and Conrad liked to tease each other. But sometimes his launch turned nasty. He'd say things like go for a run fatty. Even though he knew her history of disordered eating he told her she looked gross in her facebook profile picture. Sometimes he badgered Michelle about when they might be able to meet in person so they could have sex but she wasn't ready yet. She worried that her friends would judge her. He responded that she was being dumb by early. Two thousand thirteen their connection seemed to have dwindled continued to send a message. Is She felt? Were Romantic. She told him you're the one I think I've been waiting to find. Conrad responded curtly. You said that before other times he refused to answer her at all. Michelle was heartbroken and angry. She later told him I was there for you and I helped you and you just forgot about me. Conrad may have pulled away from the relationship due to troubles and his home life in February of two thousand thirteen the seventeen year old got into a violent altercation with his father. Police were called to the house and his father was arrested for assault and domestic battery. Conrad's father later. Said he was trying to discipline his son but he got out of control. Whatever drove them apart. Conrad Michelle apparently broke up but on October tenth. Two thousand thirteen. Michelle sent him a message telling him how important he was to her. He asked her why she had messaged him. She wrote that she was watching. Glee tribute episode to the late Actor Cory Mon- teeth. She said it made her realise how much she loved him. And how much? She would miss him if he were gone. When Conrad didn't answer she asked. Do you think we will get married? He didn't respond. Michelle's intensity was too much for Conrad. A few months later they stopped talking and he began dating someone else. Michelle was crushed. She talked about them spending their lives together now suddenly he was gone for Conrad. It seemed easier to move on outwardly. His life seemed to be going well. He began thinking about the future. In the spring of two thousand fourteen. He took night courses at the northeast. Maritime Institute and earned his captain's licence so that he could work for his father's marine towing and salvage company here in good grades during his senior year in high school and he was accepted to Fitchburg State University with a full scholarship but around the same time. Eighteen year old Conrad's mental health took another downturn and one point he went to go visit a friend. Tom At FITCHBURG state but instead of making him feel excited about his future the trip made him feel overwhelmed and out of place Conrad sat rigidly on the bed watching his friend. Tom Talk and laugh with a group of his friends gathered in the dorm room. He sees with jealousy. He didn't understand why was so easy for everyone else and so difficult for him. Everyone else could crack jokes. Tell stories or come up with interesting things to say. All he could do was sit there. He knew that if he opened his mouth anything that came out with sound stupid. His face felt hot and his palms were sweaty. He wondered if they were all thinking. About how awkward he was how boring. They must be wondering why Tom was even friends with him. Conrad wished he could just stand up and walk out without anyone noticing him. He wished he could disappear. He wished he didn't exist after the trip. Conrad told his mother. He was feeling anxious and having trouble sleeping. After months of silence he reached out to Michelle and told her he was feeling depressed again. It was a difficult time for Michelle as well in March. Her doctor took her off PROZAC in switched to a different medication. So Alexa Michelle felt that disordered eating symptoms grew worse after the switch given their volatile past and her own struggles. Michelle seemed conflicted about resuming her communications with Conrad in late April. She texted a friend that she was finally starting to get over the relationship until his tax brought back old feelings she wrote. I hate him but I also really care about him in her relationship with Conrad. Michelle seem to feel many emotions at once. Fear love anxiety and excitement. It's NOT UNCOMMON FOR ADOLESCENTS. To experience many feelings at the same time but they often have difficulties processing them in a two thousand eighteen study from Harvard and the University of Washington. Researchers studied emotion differentiation. Which is the ability to know and accurately labeled distinct emotions in yourself. This ability is particularly difficult for teens. Compared to both adults and children children usually only experience one emotion at a time. Which makes it easy for them to identify what they are feeling. Adults may have many emotions at once but they have usually learn to correctly. Identify them teens. In contrast have not yet learned to distinguish between their different feelings lead author. Eric Nook stated that adolescence is a period of more murkiness and what emotions one is feeling. He also stated that this may make it more difficult for teens to differentiate and regulate their emotions. Michelle in particular may have had even more difficulty processing emotions than other teens. A two thousand nine study by lead author clear. Gyenge found that women with Anorexia and lower levels of self reported emotional awareness and expression than the control group. This inability to identify and regulate emotions can have negative consequences in another study led by University of Michigan Author. Emery DEMEL ROB RESEARCHERS. Found that people who lack the ability to differentiate these particular emotional states from each other or from a general feeling of unpleasantness. Might choose actions that are not appropriate to the current context and might exacerbate the problem. Michelle's friends advised her that she should be careful about getting involved with Conrad again. One said I think that you talking to Conrad isn't good for you. Another warned her. He seems like bad news but Michelle couldn't seem to resist her old flame. She brushed off her friends. Concern saying I don't want to lose him he was my first love. Michelle and Conrad fell into a familiar pattern of discussing their mental health issues. She seemed eager to help him work through his problems when he talked about how uncomfortable he was in group settings she sent him links to articles on how to deal with social anxiety on June first. Two thousand fourteen. Michelle texted him that she was planning on checking herself into an inpatient treatment program for eating disorder. She wanted Conrad to consider checking himself into telling him that he needed professional help. Conrad rejected this idea. He didn't want people telling him what to do. He wanted to manage his problems himself. He swore that he'd continue to see a therapist and take his medication. The Michelle didn't think. That was enough. She was worried. She told him she was afraid that if he didn't take more drastic steps to get help he becomes suicidal again. Conrad promised her that he was no longer considering suicide. Michelle seemed reassured at that point. Conrad didn't let onto Michelle. How much his despair was beginning to overwhelm him but he wouldn't be able to keep it a secret from her for a long coming up. Conrad Leans more and more on Michelle for support but the encouragement. She offers him takes disturbing turn now back to the story on June nine. Two thousand twelve seventeen year old. Michelle Carter checked into McLean hospital in Belmont Massachusetts to receive treatment for her eating disorder. It may have been difficult for her to focus on her recovery even in a dedicated programme her boyfriend eighteen year old. Conrad Roy Texted and called for help with his own problems throughout her. Stay his messages. Were sometimes frantic. Like I really need to talk. It's urgent Michelle seemed overwhelmed. Her treatment programs rigid schedule didn't allow her to drop everything to take his calls. She apologized profusely to him when she couldn't respond. Conrad began slipping in comments. Letting her know he was thinking about suicide again at one point. Michelle texted him that they should plan to meet up when she was out of the hospital. He responded if I make it. That far Conrad's Internet search history presents a bleak picture of his mindset at the time he googled phrases like is there a hell and can you go to heaven if you commit suicide on. June nineteenth two thousand twelve. Michelle again asked him to promise that he wouldn't consider taking his life. He told her I want to but nothing. Is that bad two days later. Michelle left the hospital and returned home. Conrad asked if she wanted to hang out then seemed angry that she had already made plans with other friends. He accused her of not making time for him but when she asked hang out a few days later he replied brusquely that now he was busy as hot and cold behavior. Confused Michelle on June twenty. Second she told a friend that she knew talking to. Conrad wasn't good for her but she wasn't sure how to stop either around the same time. She told classmates that she still held intense feelings for her old best friend Alice. Even though it had been two years and say stop seeing each other. These feelings confused her. She didn't want to accept that she might be bisexual. Between Conrad's depression and Michelle sexual confusion life was becoming overwhelming for the two teenagers on June. Twenty six two thousand fourteen. Conrad Texted Michelle. I give up. She responded worried. Conrad do not going to do anything right. When he gave her vague responses she grew more insistent pleading with him asking him to reassure her that he wasn't going to harm himself when Conrad finally told her he was okay. Michelle snapped at him then. Stop saying you're going to do it if you aren't going to. I don't want you to say it if you don't mean it because then I worry later on that same day. Conrad wrote to her. We should be like Romeo and Juliet at the end. Michelle thought it was a romantic gesture until Conrad reminded her of how the play ended. She emphatically told him that she had no intention of dying. Michelle was clearly becoming overwhelmed by her role. As Conrad's confidant and lifeline the role. She played in his life feeling responsible for shepherding. His mental health could be comparable to that of a caregiver a two thousand sixteen study presented by the National Alliance for caregiving surveyed over sixteen hundred individuals. Who acted as a caretaker for someone with mental illness? The study found that seventy four percent of respondents reported feeling high emotional stress and over half of those surveyed felt that caregiving made their own health. Worse a nineteen ninety nine study by Janice H Jenkins and John G Schumacher also found that of all the symptoms displayed by mentally ill. Patients caregivers were most distressed by demonstrations of misery. Michelle witnessed Conrad Suffering Day after day. Perhaps she started to crack under the pressure on June twenty. She texted part of me. Wants you to try something and fail just so you can go get help the next day. She took it a further when Conrad told her he was going to try to order poisonous seeds online. She responded why. Don't you just drink bleach by the beginning of July? She'd stopped trying to convince him to go to the hospital or seek help instead. When he spoke of killing himself she replied. Jesus will take care of you babe. You'll be happy and protected and heaven. I just want you to finally be happy. And if this is the only way you think you're going to be happy heaven will welcome you with. Open arms. This was exactly what Conrad wanted to hear. It seems that this is when Conrad felt something shift in his mind. It was like a heavy burden had just rolled off his back. Michelle really understood him. Everyone else tried to convince him to be happy. They tried to persuade him that he should stay alive. It made him feel guilty like he had to stay alive just to please everyone else now. Here was Michelle saying that. He didn't have to keep struggling. He could just let go and Michelle loved him. Conrad didn't think she'd ever tried to hurt him. If she said it was okay to die. Then maybe it was. Perhaps it wasn't such a big deal. It may be the only way he'd ever find peace. Maybe it was finally time. It is unclear what Michelle's mindset was at the time she later said she was using reverse psychology hoping that by encouraging Conrad Suicidal idealization. He realized he was being irrational. Or maybe she really thought that she was helping him escape his pain she could have considered it an act of compassionate euthanasia. These are the more charitable explanations for Michelle's behavior but some have speculated that she was acting out more psychopathic tendencies. Perhaps Michelle felt emboldened by ability to manipulate Conrad in one interview about the case. Clinical psychologist and author. Seth Meyers said a person may try to coerce another into suicide to gain a sense of power or gratification. The thinking is if I can get this person to do the most extreme or outlandish thing ever. I could get this person to do anything so I think that this was gratifying. For this girl to have this degree of power or control over him and that is the piece that seems most related to psychopathy because we know that psychopaths are oriented around winning and power above all else. Another possibility is that Michelle was simply ready for the relationship to end and she cruelly thought that Conrad staff was the easiest way out there. Some evidence that. Michelle wanted to move on that July. She was working as a volunteer sports coach at a summer camp. She met another girl there. Alley a fellow coach. She texted a friend that she liked alley. She hadn't felt that way about another girl since Alice. Michelle didn't tell Conrad about the feelings she had for someone else. By then most of their communications revolved around Conrad suicidal thoughts on July second. Michelle began asking Conrad when he was going to go through with the suicide she also tried to convince him that his family would be okay if he died. Conrad asked her. How would you feel if your sister killed herself? Michelle responded that she would be devastated at first but that she did eventually find a way to cope and move on. Michelle went on to say that. Conrad could be his sister's guardian angel if you passed away the next. She asked him again if he planned to go through with the suicide. He told her he wanted to go off into the woods and taped plastic bag over his head. She asked him. If you're going to do a last tweet can be about me and tag me when Conrad texted her. The next day still alive. Michelle was angry. She felt like he was making a fool out of her. She furiously texted him. You lied about this whole you said you were going to go to the woods and do it she added. I poured my heart out to you thinking. This was going to be the last time I talked to you. I thought you really wanted to die but apparently you don't I feel played and just stupid. Conrad assured her that he still wanted to kill himself. He was just researching the least painful ways to do it. Michelle asked him on. She suggested that he find a way to overdose on heroin so he could be like Corey Monte then she could be his Leeann Michelle. Conrad Laugh this method off as a joke but he still was serious about taking concrete steps to end his life on July seventh. He told Michelle. He was planning on stealing a portable generator from work. He decided that he would drive to an empty parking lot and seal himself up in his truck with a generator running until they produce enough carbon monoxide to fill the truck cab and suffocate him. Michelle approved of the plan over the next two days. She hounded him about when exactly. He was picking up the generator on July ninth. Conrad brought the generator home from work. He told her he ready to go through with his plan around eleven pm that night. Conrad Texted Michelle. That he was about to do it and that he loved her. She asked if he was serious whether he had really turned on the generator he didn't answer. She texted him several more times. Conrad please answer me right now. You're scaring me. Conrad texted her around ten o'clock the next morning telling her he was okay. The generator had stopped working. They exchanged text back and forth about what he should do. Next bizarrely even though. Michelle knew that Conrad was all right. She texted her other friends that morning telling them that. Conrad was missing. She seemed want to elicit their sympathy. She wrote to her friend that she was losing hope. That Conrad was still alive. She said she couldn't understand why he wasn't responding to her and reality. Conrad was answering Michelle's messages. They had been texting nonstop in those messages. Conrad told her he had fixed the generator. Michelle was pleased. She told him. You're ready babe you can do it. Thanks again for tuning into crimes of passion. We will be back Wednesday with part two of Michelle Carter and Conrad Roy Story. We'll talk about the tragic end of their relationship and the heated public reaction that followed. You can find more episodes of crimes of passion and all other podcast originals for free on spotify. Not only to spotify already. Have all of your favorite music but now spotify is making it easy for you to enjoy. All of your favorite podcast originals. Like crimes of passion for Free From Your Phone. Desktop or smart speaker to stream crimes of passion on spotify. Just open the APP and type crimes of passion in the search bar and don't forget to follow us on facebook and Instagram. At podcast and twitter at podcast network. We'll see you next time. When true love meets true crime crimes of passion was created by Max Cutler and his podcast studios original executive producers include maxine Ron Cutler sound design by Trent Williamson with production assistance by Ron Shapiro Carly Madden and Freddie Beckley? This episode of Crimes Of Passion was written by Christina. Tammy's with writing assistance by Abigail Hanan. I'm Laney hops listeners. Don't forget to check out. Podcast fantastic new original series dictators. Every Tuesday dictators examines the reign of a real life timer and exploring the unique conditions that allowed them to seize control. Discover the governments that fell the lives that were destroyed and evil at its highest level search for dictators in the spotify APP. And listen free today.

Leeann Michelle Conrad Conrad Michelle Conrad Roy Michelle Carter Michelle Alice Michelle Michelle leader facebook Michelle Psychology spotify Massachusetts anorexia Florida Allie Dr Bragan PROZAC Ta Elliot