17 Burst results for "Michael Cusack"
Typology
"michael cusack" Discussed on Typology
"It's all very unconscious. And connect emotionally, super, super fast. Yeah. Totally. That sounds right. That's one of the things I love most, too, is the being a careful reader means that I can skip most of the small talk that I truly hate. And then know something about someone else, which makes me feel very alive. Like, oh, yeah. Everything's out. We can see all the emotions, full rainbow. I love it. I do love it. Well, here's a question I've ever asked it to. What's your favorite emotion? Lately, it's anger. Because it's just been a rough season. And anger was has been one of my most underexpressed, allowable feelings in my especially in the Christian circles in which I traffic. So my friend got me one of those little wood grain nameplates that just says stay angry, which makes me laugh. 'cause I was always like, I'm a dolphin, and they're like, no, you're a shark. And I was like, okay. I just want to, I just want to be on my chompers out right now. So I have a lot of ongoing health issues that pop back up and then I find myself dealing with the day as a set of really awful institutional and painful obstacle courses. And so I'm more angry lately just because I'm in so much pain, all the feelings are closer. I have less ability to mask what I think or make other people feel comfortable, which then in turn makes me feel self conscious. So I was like, oh, maybe if we just bust out anger a little bit more. I'll get a bigger spectrum of the feelings I need. I think it's working. Now, a word from our sponsor. Hey everybody, one of the lessons I've learned over the years is that not everybody benefits from a traditional 50 minute counseling session. And this is why some people can go to couples therapy or personal counseling for a long time and never really get anywhere. This is why I'm such a believer of intensive counseling and my friends at restoring the soul in Colorado created by my longtime friend Michael Cusack
Typology
"michael cusack" Discussed on Typology
"Well, I mean, listen, where do they get their self esteem from? And by the way, when I talk about two, threes and fours, you're going to hear me use self esteem and self worth a lot because I think they derive self worth and self esteem. That's a big issue for two season four is looking for herself. Sources of esteem outside themselves. They get their self esteem from projecting this very interesting and exceptional image. Like I tell you, I can get anxious when I feel like I'm beginning to be perceived as unexceptional. Not successful. But exceptional. So I think that three, the fours want to be, and I've struggled with this, trying to figure out how to the language to use to describe what it is that for is one. I think fours, they really want to belong. They want to be seen. They want to be whole, they perceive themselves as not as being too fractured and lacking wholeness. And like all the rest of us, they want to be loved, right? But they rely on projecting an image of specialness and uniqueness because they want to be seen as unique and complex and mysterious. And very creative in the eyes of others. Yeah, I love how you differentiate between the why the motivation and the strategy. Because sometimes those can get confused. Yes, they can. And fours become anxious, I think, too, when they feel like there's no larger meaning or purpose in their work or in their personal lives. I get that. Yeah. Like, what does this all mean? Yeah. Like, why am I doing what I'm doing? Does it really make a difference? Am I leeming a mark on the world for goodness? You know what I mean? How does my little story fit into the larger narrative of what God is telling in the world? And so if I am not sure that my life is meaningful or purposeful, I get anxious. And restless, really restless, also force can be triggered into anxiety when they feel like they aren't making a unique contribution. Like to an organization or to a particular circumstance. And here's a big one, brother. Fours could become real anxious that the first sign of abandonment or in a romantic or friendship relationship or romantic relationship or a friendship. And that they are so attuned to that possibility, but they will see a threat. That's not actually there. Yeah. Thinking, okay, you're going to leave me. This is going to be abandonment. Right. It's going to be a re experiencing of the abandonment I experienced as a child. Yeah. Yeah. Hey everybody, one of the lessons I've learned over the years is that not everybody benefits from a traditional 50 minute counseling session. And this is why some people can go to couples therapy or personal counseling for a long time and never really get anywhere. This is why I'm such a believer of intensive counseling and my friends at restoring the soul in Colorado created by my longtime friend Michael Cusack to help couples or individuals experience deep change and half day blocks over one or two weeks. Now listen, if you can't wait months or years to get to the bottom of an issue or to experience breakthrough, you need to get in touch with my friend Michael and his extraordinary team of counselors at restoring the soul. If you're looking to get out of the rut, you're in, but can't wait months or years, call, restoring the soul today for a free consultation with Michael's staff call 303-932-9777 and learn how their intensive counseling process can help you as a special bonus just for typology, listeners make sure to visit WWW dot restoring the soul dot com slash typology to download their PDF called 5 ways unaddressed trauma may be derailing your relationships. Okay, 5s. Go, man. I think for 5s, you know, these wonderful people rely on knowledge and incompetency, self sufficiency, and dampening their emotional and material needs to feel safe in the world. Remember, 5s, twos, threes and fours, they're wrestling with issues around self esteem. Okay, worth and identity. 5, 6 and 7s are dealing with issues around safety and security. Right. 8 9s and ones are dealing with issues around mastery and control. Okay. Remind me to mention that when we get to them. Okay. So for 5s, all this competency gathering information, dampening emotional and material needs, helps them fend off anxiety by being in the know all the time. It's all an effort to feel safe. Right. And they do it like through researching. And preparing for unseen unforeseen situations. Not like a 6 would. But like, okay, I'm going to be with these many people today. I only have this much energy for that. You know, I have this meeting. I need to be prepared for this, and that they like predictability that way. So if an unforeseen situation comes up, it can create a lot of anxiety for them. Like if someone calls an a meeting at the last second, 5s can get real squirrely. Yeah. Right? I wasn't banking on that. I wasn't prepared for that. They don't want to look incompetent. So they don't want to be in situations where surprising emotions could come up suddenly and overwhelm them. They also don't want to be in situations where they could be. Outed as not prepared or in the know. Okay. Okay. So I think that's when anxiety levels spike for 5s. Okay. Let's go to the loyalist. Well, you know, it's not like anxiety isn't a big thing for this number. I mean, this is the number that really struggles for the inside. It is a life theme for 6s. So 6 is I think feels safe and not anxious. When they have a support system like a belief system or a set of rules to follow or traditions to follow, that would be another thing. And I think they wore it off anxiety by forging really strong alliances, right? Looking to institutions and looking to others for advice and support. In the absence of these things, it is get anxious. They're already kind of buzzing with anxiety anyway. Right. But if you take away any of these sorts of supports, right? Because you know what? 6s don't want to just safety and security. They want support. They also want certainty. But they want to know that there's a belief system, a pastor, a boss, a Tony Robbins, or somebody that's going to give them answers to questions, they didn't know they were even supposed to ask. Yes. And it does operate like just a hum with them, right? I mean, it seems to always be present. I just want to tell our listeners our interview with Mike Alexander who is a type 6. That was a really good interview for 6 as you should go back and check that one out if you haven't already heard it. Yes. Also, I think with 6s, they don't like not knowing what's expected of them. In particularly in situations where they think something might go wrong. That's like when 6s are always questioning you about something. Yeah. And expressing doubt, you feel like they don't have competency, but actually they're just trying to make sure that what am I supposed to do if something goes wrong. Yeah, right. Right? Yeah. They don't know. They can get real anxious. Oh, it's such a game changer to know these things up because my son is a 6 and it's just, it's just helped our relationship so much. And I can appreciate his anxiety. So all right, let's move to the 7s. Yeah. Well, you know, I think for 7s, it's the fear that they won't be supported.
Typology
"michael cusack" Discussed on Typology
"Anthony Ian. It's good to see you brother. Man, it is so good to see you. I am pumped to be back in the typology garage studio. Me too and especially excited for today. I love when we get to respond to our listeners. I know. And today is mailbag podcast day. We're gonna answer some questions that are listeners have reached out to you with. And you're gonna shower us with your brilliance and your expertise. Now you've totally set me up to disappoint, but I'll do my best. All right, here we go. Let's dive in. So this is from Amanda and her subject is on subtypes. She says, hi, Ian. I've done some research on my own, but I'm curious. Is there a subtype of a one or 5 that are similar to each other? The first time I tested, I came out as a one, but my next number was a 5 and it was basically a 50 50 split between the two numbers. When I read descriptions, I definitely identify more with the 5, but there are parts of the one that describe me for sure. But then some don't. Is there a subtype of the 5 that reflects a one or am I possibly just a 50 50 split? Thanks. Yeah. Well, first of all, we just have to tell people again and again and again because it's important that we contain all 9 types. And so therefore, regardless of what our type is, Amanda, you have 5 in you. If you're a one, you have 5 in you. If you're a 5, you got one in you as well as the other 8 numbers, right? So you're always going to find traits of each of the 9 types inside of you, right? Now, I did a little research on this and did some reading. There isn't a subtype of 5 that looks very much like a one. Okay. Usually when a person gets stuck between one and 5, it's a one. Who sees that they're very rational and sometimes detached way of thinking feels like a 5. Okay, yeah, I can see that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So again, it's usually a one that is confusing themselves to the 5 because of that. Right now the best way to distinguish the two, right? Ones and 5s. Is by remembering that they're in two different triads. So ones are in the gut triad. They're very practical in their action takers. They're doers. 5s however live up in their head. Yeah. And so their way of thinking isn't necessarily very practical. Right. And it's not necessarily acted upon. Right. And that's sort of the difference between the two that might be helpful to you, Amanda. I love that. And you've mentioned that before backing into a number based on what triad you're in, so I like that you brought that up. All right, this is from Lamar. Mayor Lamar's got a long question here. Yeah, and the subject is jobs for a type 7. So here it goes. High in a wholeheartedly resonate with type 7 the enthusiast, our resonate with the term monkey mind or freewheeling mind, when there is no structure to keep me on track. So here is my question. In your experience with type 7s, do you see them flourishing in the building trades? I have worked in many types of trades like vinyl siding, plumbing, electrical, roofing, including shingling, and metal, but I always end up bored and most trades with most trades and always end up working with people who don't share my enthusiasm. I would love to hear a segment about the types of jobs for type 7s. I've heard you say 7s need to be on a leash, but have a long lead, please help. Well, Lamar. Yes. All right, let's unpack that a little bit. I mean, I can definitely see 7 flourishing in the building trades. That said, can we just also remember right up front that I can see any number being flourishing in the building trades. But for different reasons. Right. We can't assign jobs to different types because no type has a lock on particular competencies, right? But I think one of the reasons I can see them in the building trades is first, let's say you're building a house. So you work on a house, and then you move on to another with new and interesting challenges. So you're not doing the same repetitive thing over and over and over again. Every day, it's not like you're an accountant in every year in this time of year, you're getting ready for taxes. And you know, where it's just very repetitive and predictable. There's always going to be new challenges. And whatever job you're on building a house. Right, and the other thing is many segments I know, like my son, for example, if they love to work with their hands. I don't know what that's about. Wow. And they love to figure out problems as they arise and often with interesting workarounds. And I see that with my son. He's just so great at that. You tell him you wanted to do something that involves his hands, he is pumped. Wow. And he loves to figure out like, okay, well, this joist doesn't go together, so how am I going to do that? Just really great that way. You know, eat a little more here says, he ends up working with people who don't share their enthusiasm, and I'm like, dude. Well, of course they don't. Right. Nobody could have your enthusiasm. For anything. The levels of enthusiasm, you have for everyone. You are the enthusiast for sure, right? Now, that said, I do think that enneagram 7s make great entrepreneurs. We've spoken about that. They're great consultants for the same reason they'd be great in building trades. You know, you go to work for a company for 6 months to a year and then you finish up and you move out to your next company. They make great architects. I will say that to make great architects. Anything involving lots of travel and meeting new people, they are great life coaches. I can see that, yeah. Super in sales. I would think so. Super in marketing. And actually in careers where there just isn't a lot of hierarchy or oversight or yeah, but just hierarchy. Because 7 flat organizational profiles, flat hierarchies. And if they don't have flat hierarchies, they have a bunch of different ways that they'll flatten. That's true, they do. I can't remember this interview is so funny and it's one of the first ones we did together, but it was a guy who came on. He wasn't sure what number he was. And by the end, oh my gosh. He was pretty sure he was a 7. Yeah. I mean, it was clear. And I remember at one point, he was like, yeah, it's not that I want to be in charge. I just don't want anyone to be in charge. Yeah. Well, there you go. Now, a word from our sponsor. Hey everybody, one of the lessons I've learned over the years is that not everybody benefits from a traditional 50 minute counseling session. And this is why some people can go to couples therapy or personal counseling for a long time and never really get anywhere. This is why I'm such a believer of intensive counseling and my friends at restoring the soul in Colorado created by my longtime friend Michael Cusack to help couples or individuals experience deep change and half day blocks over one or two weeks. Now listen, if you can't wait months or years to get to the bottom of an issue or to experience breakthrough, you need to get in touch with my friend Michael and his extraordinary team of counselors at restoring the soul. If you're looking to get out of the rut, you're in, but can't wait months or years, call restoring the soul today for a free consultation with Michael's staff call
Typology
"michael cusack" Discussed on Typology
"Stick to the plan, right? So you're smiling right now, as I say, that does that because I work with several 8s and that is so true. And it is on me and here's how I try to remember to end all of my really all of my meetings now, but I've learned this from working with aids. Today I had a directional team meeting with 5 staff. And I try to remember to do this every time. Is there anything you need from me? This is the last. This is the end of the meeting before we have done all the agenda. Are there any questions I need to answer for you to make sure so that you can continue doing what you're doing? Is there anything you need for me? Because I've learned with aids. They're further down the road than I am in so many cases. But because I'm the boss, I can be an impediment to their progress. Well, their progress is my progress. We're all making progress together. So if I don't answer the questions quick enough, or if I, again, in my oneness where I'm trying to make the perfect answer or, you know, I need more time to think about it. That is very frustrating to an 8. And I don't want the H to be frustrated because they, you know, they're kind of the rocket ships. I mean, they're the jet fuel. They're get things done. Momentum. Yeah. It's all about forward momentum. And like 8, I love progress as well. I want to make things better. So the difference is that an 8 will, at times, not take the time to think through or consider everything that could happen as a result of their action. You will think a lot longer about those types of things. Down the road, right? But man, nose and tackle. Do you want some aids around you? And those of you who are listening in leadership roles, you either are an 8 or you work around some work with aids. When you read the book or as you become more and more familiar with enneagram, you're going to recognize, especially if you are an upper level management in any capacity, you are to your left or to your right because that's where H generally end up if they're healthy enough to maintain relational integrity along the way. And working with or managing an 8 is an art and I love the age. But again, a self aware, mature 8. It's a pleasure to work with. Oh, they make everything better and because they're so much forward progress and Ford motion, they pull things along. With them, that's the 8. Hey everybody, one of the lessons I've learned over the years is that not everybody benefits from a traditional 50 minute counseling session. And this is why some people can go to couples therapy or personal counseling for a long time and never really get anywhere. This is why I'm such a believer of intensive counseling and my friends at restoring the soul in Colorado created by my longtime friend Michael Cusack to help couples or individuals experience deep change and half day blocks over one or two weeks. Now listen, if you can't wait months or years to get to the bottom of an issue or to experience breakthrough, you need to get in touch with my friend Michael and his extraordinary team of counselors at restoring the soul. If you're looking to get out of the rut, you're in, but can't wait months or years, call restoring the soul today for a free consultation with Michael's staff call three O three 9 three two 9 7 7 7 and learn how their intensive counseling process can help you as a special bonus just for typology, listeners, make sure to visit WWW dot restoring the soul dot com slash typology to download their PDF called 5 ways unaddressed trauma may be derailing your relationships. All right, so 9s had a nine's respond when decisions are made that impact them. Yeah, so, you know, 9s and 6s both struggle with making decisions themselves. It's really hard on them. When others make decisions that affect them, a nine's going to be tempted to merge with the group's opinion of the decision. So if the group says we think this is a great decision, the nana but yeah, that's a great decision. And if the group says we don't like this decision, the 9 will say, yeah, I don't like the decision either, right? So one of the growth or transformational paths for 9s. Is learning to individuate, find their own voice, assert it, name it, you know, in whatever context they're in. And follow what their gut tells them. This is something they have to be reminded to do you're saying? Oh, absolutely. Because this isn't intuitive. No, no, because they avoid conflict, right? So they don't want to be the one person in the room. It says, I don't agree with the rest of you. I think this is a good decision. Or a bad decision, whatever the case may be. That is not what a nine's going to want. They're not the contrarian. They are not the contrarian at all. The 6 could be a contrarian, right? A one could be a contrarian. An 8 for sure could be a contrarian. These are more aggressive numbers, right? You know, 9s want to keep the peace both internally and externally. So, you know, they're going to want to be tempted to just go along to get along because everybody else's opinions feel stronger to them than their own. So they'll be like, well jeez, if everybody feels that strongly about it, I'll just roll with it. So here's what I've learned about 9s. There's quiet in meetings. And I have to draw them out. I have to call them out by name. And say, you know, I won't say the names because anyway, you know, Sarah, what do you think? Because they will sit through a discussion and say, nothing. And I know they have an opinion and they're smart. That's why they're at the table. But I generally, for the 9s, I have to draw them out into the conversation. Is that yeah, and sometimes you're common. Yes, it's so common. And it's so wise of you to do that because I won't know what they're thinking, otherwise. Well, there's that and they also have a lot of wisdom because they have this Supernatural ability to see things from everybody's perspective. Okay? They just are amazing at that. Seeing the world through everybody else's eyes. Okay? And so they often see, they'll see the big picture. Like for example, you have laser focused attention. The attention of a 9 is diffuse. So it's taking in the hole, right? You could become so focused that you miss a lot of stuff going on around it. Absolutely. Right. But the 9 is picking it all up, right? And so sometimes they're going to have wisdom that you really need, right? Now, what I might do in that situation is, say, well, tell me what you're thinking, Sarah. And then Sarah will say something, I'll go. Now Sarah, I'm going to ask the question again, just to give you another opportunity, what are you really thinking about this? Because their first temptation might be, they're looking around the group. Don't want to have conflict. You know, they're feeling a little cornered. You know, like a raccoon in the garage, you know, and they're just a little spooked, right? And then just gently say, great. I really value your opinion. Is that all you want to say? Because I really welcome you to be full throated about your thoughts on this topic. Is it correct to say that an unhealthy 9 is most inclined to be passive aggressive because they're unable or unwilling to break with that kind of internal drive not to not to create problems, but now I've made a decision that's going to negatively impact or it's going to be a hassle or it's just going to it's going to be it's not going to be what they want to do. But they're not necessarily going to push back like an 8. You can read an eight's body language. You don't have to finish the sentence. It's like, I sent some persistence, but the 9, again, if I don't draw it out. But then they're going to leave the room or leave the decision and I've seen, you know, passive aggressive tendencies with knowledge. So when they're not very healthy, here's what this is another one of their crazy superpowers. They can look at you like they agree with you and you'll be convinced they agree with you, but they will never have said it, right? But there's just something that makes you feel like they're agreeing with you. When inside, they're thinking, no way, Jose, right? And the way that that passive aggressiveness gets expressed is through stubbornness. This kind of, you'd be feeling like as the plan goes along, your marching downfield that's someone's got their hand on the emergency brake, and they keep pulling up on it. And it's slowing down. Or whatever. So their anger, an 8 anger, externalizes. As you know, a one's anger goes inward at yourself, that self critical spirit, right? For the 9, they'll go, what anger. I don't even I've never been angry in my life, right? They're unaware of their own anger. And so it comes out sideways. Oh, wow. And that's that passive aggressive side. Yeah. So you want to make sure, for example, if you have made a decision, right? And you relay it to the 9. You want to get a verbal answer from them that they are with it or not. You don't want to just say, oh, they look like they agreed. Yeah. They nodded. They not. Maybe. It's just even in the eyes. There's this kind of looking at you. And because they didn't say no, you assumed yes. I with 9s all the time I'm saying, now listen, this is the plan. I need to hear a verbal yes or no that you are or not on the board. Now my wife's and I and we've had this conversation before, you know? I need a verbal. You know, going back to last month, we talked about the decision that we made to suspend our worship services for several months. And in when we made the decision again, there were about 12 people in the room. And I remember now that we're having this conversation, I was, I wonder, I want to know what everybody thought. And I could say we had about 5 people on a Zoom call on a big screen, and then the rest were in the room. And I could sense all of this. And I remember now, I actually called on the 9 and said, by name, what do you think? I knew I needed to hear a voice. A head nod wasn't enough because this was a big decision. Yeah. And yeah, this person was for it. But I remember intuitively, you know, I want to make sure we're and if you can tell them it's because a 9 grows up and the message they hear is your presence and voice don't matter. They feel less important than other people and other people's opinions just feel so much stronger to them than their own. So if you call them and say, I really value what you have to say. In other words, your presence really matters here. Your voice matters. What do you think? And I think he always surprised that they have wisdom that no other number. Absolutely. Again, if they're sitting at your leadership team table, they're there for a reason. They've accomplished something. They're a value add and not to get a 100% of the value that they add is a loss for the team and the organization. Anthony, that was rich, man. Yes, it was. Didn't you love that? I loved it. You know, the enneagram is this amazing framework. And what it does is it helps us to develop compassion into it helps us to see the world through the lens that other people see it through. We all do things even some of the same things, but for different reasons. Like decision making, yes. Right? And that's what this was all about. And so, you know, I don't know if people realize this, but if they want to learn more about the enneagram and how to use it in the business world, all you gotta do is visit typology institute dot com slash work that's typology institute dot com slash worst. Yeah, they'll find all kinds of resources there and it's super, super helpful. This was rich, dude. Thank you. Yeah man, give our people some love and sign us off. Oh man, may you have loved may you have joy? May you have peace, may you have him? May you have rest. Until next time, Friends.
Typology
"michael cusack" Discussed on Typology
"But they will make sure that that kid has the right amount of carbohydrates, fats, and proteins in every meal. They will make sure that that child is properly dressed for winter. You know, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And sometimes the child one will say, my parents, you know, kind of perhaps cool, they didn't express love, the way that other parents did, but I'll say to them, however, maybe that's not your parents love language. Can you step back and appreciate how your parents was a little bit like the Atticus Finch type, who was there for you at every turn and expressed love by providing, again, this natural climate in which you could develop into a beautiful human being, a responsible good citizen human being in the world. So, man, this parenting thing for every type is really important to kind of figure out. That's moving, Ian. It is. You know, it made me think of Ian. I think I learned this from you. You tell me if this sounds familiar to you, but I think I learned this from listening to you years ago, I heard it said and I've hung on to this that one make it so that others feel safe in the world so they can thrive. And I think that was so incredibly helpful for me to think about that. You know, when I think about all the work I have done in my own parenting to try to do all the things you just described, make sure everybody got to there. Pediatric well visits and teeth clean and school supplies and when those things are in order or when those things are taken care of like kids are safer, kids are healthier, kids have the things they need when I could again get so critical. Just beat myself up for all the stuff I can't let go of or couldn't let go of on the front side. Now a word from our sponsor. Hey everybody, one of the lessons I've learned over the years is that not everybody benefits from a traditional 50 minute counseling session. And this is why some people can go to couples therapy or personal counseling for a long time and never really get anywhere. This is why I'm such a believer of intensive counseling and my friends at restoring the soul in Colorado created by my longtime friend Michael Cusack to help couples or individuals experience deep change and half day blocks
Typology
"michael cusack" Discussed on Typology
"That there is something. Yeah, you know, you're just making me think, and I don't want to go too far down this wormhole because you and I could go down a wormhole right here. But well, let's just talk about the Bible for a second. Certainly the Bible would say that there's intergenerational trauma, right? I do. It's pretty clear, right? That thing's passed down generation onto generation. Right. Sour grapes and the children's teeth are set on edge, right? Yes, yes, right? And I do think that you mentioned Carl Jung earlier and I'm a great fan of Carl Jung. And one of his contemporary author who does, I think, a beautiful job of making young accessible to people with James Hollis. And it seems to me, young would have said, oh, absolutely. Intergenerational. Things pass on to us, right? And so there is, as you said, a great deal of wisdom and insight to be found when we look into previous generations in our genealogies and that may help us understand who we are because of who they were, you know? And I can, you know, I think about my own family. My father was an alcoholic and an addict, his two sisters were alcoholics who died from alcoholism. I'm in recovery for substance abuse. Substance use disorder. I can just go on and on and on. Now you could say, well, that's just a genetic predisposition. That has been proven, but let's just say it is. But I just think also, it's just intergenerational trauma. I just think that once a ball gets rolling somewhere, it can begin to pick up momentum. And part of our job, I think, as human beings is learning how to reverse the momentum of some of this trauma in our lives so that we don't continue to pass it forward on to others. Hey everybody, one of the lessons I've learned over the years is that not everybody benefits from a traditional 50 minute counseling session. And this is why some people can go to couples therapy or personal counseling for a long time and never really get anywhere. This is why I'm such a believer of intensive counseling and my friends at restoring the soul in Colorado created by my longtime friend Michael Cusack to help couples or individuals experience deep change and half day blocks over one or two weeks. Now listen, if you can't wait months or years to get to the bottom of an issue or to experience breakthrough, you need to get in touch with my friend Michael and his extraordinary team of counselors at restoring the soul. If you're looking to get out of the rut, you're in, but can't wait months or years, call restoring the soul today for a free consultation with Michael's staff call 303-932-9777 and learn how their intensive counseling process can help you as a special bonus just for typology listeners make sure to visit WWW dot restoring the soul dot com slash typology to download their PDF called 5 ways unaddressed trauma may be derailing your relationships. I was doing some research with my family and when we were when we were pregnant with our first son, this is 21 years ago. And I was looking for names, so I was going back. And I found my great grandfather 5 times removed. And I found where he was buried, and I had just come out of a 7 year stint of working in the inner city. And I'm a musician, a songwriter. So those were the two parts of my life working in the inner city with the underprivileged and music. And I found where he was buried. I found his headstone, and he had this huge headstone, and the top of the headstone had one hand giving to another and it said a friend to the poor. And underneath his death date, it said dying, he's saying amazing grace, how sweet the sound that said drenched like me. And I'm sitting here looking at this tombstone with a grandfather 5 times removed and these two huge pieces of my life that Mark my life and I realized I'm walking in an inheritance, you know? It was just, it really bowled me over and we ended up naming our son after him. Well, you have to say, you have to tell mod your son's name. So my grandfather's name was John William and so we named our son John William justice skinner. I love it. I mean, I love it. Yeah. And the justice was all about because I just spent the last 7 years working in the inner city. So he's named after that season. So John William justice skinner, yeah, so. Can you just give us a word of wisdom and encouragement or instruction for our listeners around looking into their histories to understand their present reality? Yeah, I would just say, you know, one legacy I've carried forward of my very evangelical Christian childhood is the idea that the truth will set you free. And I really, I believe that to be the case, you know? A lot of painful stuff can come up a lot of joyful stuff can come up the kinds of amazing recurrences that Anthony was talking about and, you know, but being willing to look at all of it and really understand and feel our way into all of us all of it can help us show up so much better in the world. Well, thank you so much, everybody. Martin Newton ancestor trouble a reckoning and a reconciliation to dropped on March 29th of 2022. So I want to encourage all of you to go out and get this remarkable remarkable book. Mod, can we have you back on? This was too good to just be a one off conversation. I mean, anytime, you know, because I'm such a fan. I can tell you that I can tell you that quit melling about is going down and type biology history. I had to bring that back up. We really, even if you haven't had that said to you, I know you know what it feels like when somebody is like, just stop. Well, technology listeners from king of Prussia, Pennsylvania, to the words, may you have love, may you have joy? May you have peace, may you have healing? May you have rest until next time.
Typology
"michael cusack" Discussed on Typology
"That success. That appearance of success in any way do you think create that three in you in some way? I mean, I think it would have to have. I mean, I've thought a lot about that more that I get into learning about the enneagram and try to think back as a young kid and have asked my parents about it. And now that my mom knows more about the enneagram, she affirms that I wish she would not be surprised if I was always a three. I know it's kind of a combination of the nature and nurture, right? With what your type, what you become. But I think that while that was never the expectation they had for us, I think simply being brought up in that environment, you know, I wasn't expected to be great at everything. Or expected to look a certain way, but I was in a world that modeled that and so when I started to be successful, particularly in school, and in sports, it was rewarded. And so I saw, I mean, I was born, like, dad got his record deal like a month before I was born in 1990. So when I was in my formative years was the peak of his career when he was entertainer of the year and winning Grammys and has all the Ford truck sponsorships, you know, on TV and so I think that what I witnessed is that this is what this is what a happy successful life is. And so in my own way, when I started to succeed, again, mostly in school, but in sports and all that, it just sort of reinforced that idea. It was never what I hear from a lot of threes, which is you need to be perfect or you need to do better. It was just that I was really good at stuff and I got rewarded and that was just the picture that I saw and that was the life that I wanted. Every origin story is different. Yeah. For some people, they might say, I just came out of the womb this way. Other people may say, I don't know, my mom said I was kind of a relaxed little kid, but you know, as X, Y, and Z happened, you know, so, you know, I became more and more of a three, et cetera. I would think growing up in the home of someone who is a superstar in the entertainment world, where the adulation for their success is you're swimming in an ocean of it. And you're starting to do the math as a little kid. If I do something really spectacular like my dad, then I will get all this admiration, which is a drug for threes. And so you might begin to model your life on the same kind of a pursuit. And is it bad? No, not necessarily. It could be if it's just running on autopilot and you don't realize that you're life is being governed by that unconscious desire. But it's just a good question for someone who grows up in a context like you did and developed into a three. You know? What's interesting that I've always wondered is that I was very, I didn't want attention as a young kid, I think I wanted quiet affirmation from the people that I loved. And then as I got older and further into kind of high school and college, it was like the switch just flipped and all of a sudden it was something that I really desired and something that I would pursue, I think, unconsciously mostly at that point. But I was really shy and I didn't want a lot of attention, but I wanted affirmation and at some point in my life it grew from affirmation into attention into approval and I can trace the whole thing back through my teens and 20s. But I always thought that was interesting. And I think people probably assume that most threes are very extroverted and they want all the attention and while I can be very extroverted. I don't think that that was my nature as a kid. So I don't know where that I mean, I do kind of know where those shifts happen. But it's just interesting to go back on. Yeah, people will ask me sometimes. Do you think this was nurture or nature? And I got, I don't know. Yeah. You tell me? Yeah, I mean, you know, or what combination was it 60% nurture, 35% nature 5, but you know, I don't know. All I know is that we become these things. You've mentioned one way that I think it does happen, which is we get rewarded for things. So if you're a two on the enneagram and you're a little kid and you're always helping around the house, your mommy's little helper and you get lots of love for the little kids brain says, wait a minute. You know, I get a lot of love for being successful or for being helpful or 5s being smart, you know, or observant or 7s for being fun, you know, I get a lot of strokes for this stuff. This is working. This is working for me. And it's ensuring that if I continue to be this person, I'm gonna feel love, esteem, safe, secure, and in control. And you know, we drag that stuff into adulthood and unless it gets looked at, then, you know, we're operating with a child's, you know, instruction manual. And that's not, it's not a really healthy place to live, right? I'm glad you highlighted too that you're an introvert. I mean, I have a friend who is a 7 and she's very private, but she's a 7. Yeah. You know? Someone told me I was the most extroverted introvert they'd ever met. And I was like, that fits. I'll wear that. That is definitely me. Yeah. Now, the older I get in my 5 wing gets stronger, much stronger. I definitely spend much more time alone. I go to fewer, big parties. I avoid them like the plague, actually. I love having two couples over for dinner. I'm just very happy by myself. And I think that's just the balancing out of my three and 5 wing. And I think, you know, it's just taking me a long time as it does for everybody to have that balance coming into play. Hey everybody, one of the lessons I've learned over the years is that not everybody benefits from a traditional 50 minute counseling session. And this is why some people can go to couples therapy or personal counseling for a long time and never really get anywhere. This is why I'm such a believer of intensive counseling and my friends at restoring the soul in Colorado created by my longtime friend Michael Cusack to help couples or individuals experience deep change and half day blocks over one or two weeks. Now listen, if you can't wait months or years to get to the bottom of an issue or to experience breakthrough, you need to get in touch with my friend Michael and his extraordinary team of counselors at restoring the soul. If you're looking to get out of the rut, you're in, but can't wait months or years, call restoring the soul today for a free consultation with Michael's staff call 303-932-9777 and learn how their intensive counseling process can help you as a special bonus just for typology listeners make sure to visit WWW dot restoring the soul dot com slash typology to download their PDF called 5 ways unaddressed trauma may be derailing your relationships.
Typology
"michael cusack" Discussed on Typology
"Oh my God. What a beautiful song. Thank you. I told you we're gonna have a good day Anthony. I told you pretty rich, right? Oh my goodness. You done brought us to silence, Mary. A new favorite. I can't wait till I'm gonna be, I get obsessed with songs. That'll be like on repeat, you know. You know when you can hit on Spotify where you can hit repeat just the one song. I do that for hours. When does this come out? The street date is June 3rd. Okay. So we have to wait. Is that single out or do we have to wait? No, they put out a couple of an Amsterdam out and they put out world unkind, which is another upbeat song with a downbeat title. Are we singing backgrounds on that version of Amsterdam that you're releasing? As a single? Negotiate. Go sheds are hitting the road with me. Let's go. That was beautiful. Thank you. That was some we were Tapping into the power. I wish everybody was in the garage studio with us right now. We had to start selling tickets. See all the atoms shimmering in the room. Great reverb in here. That's right, maybe we should leave it. Who needs a rug when we got? Reverb. Well, that means she has to come for every show. That's right. That's right. Absolutely. So Mary, you know, enneagram 8, wonderful human being and soul, you know? You just turned 60. And what? If you could say. If there's one thing I've learned, it's this. What would come after that? Gosh, you know, such a good question. It's a hard question because it's such a big question. You know? I think if I were to have to now it down, the best days are the days where I'm present. Be here now. Most of my fears are about the future, which is not real. It hadn't happened yet. And right here right now, I'm okay. And you know, as we age, I think it's absolutely normal and natural to start to become concerned about mortality. And if I let myself go too far down that road, I feel myself with fear. And I just got to rewind back up stop right here right now. I'm okay. Be here now. And be with the people I'm with. Try to force myself into the now and be present for the people. I'm with. We went bowling last night. And this is the simplest of things. East Nashville bowl. And there was 5 of us. And I was so tempted to pick up my phone and look at whatever's happening in the email department or. Other distractions rather than just be at the bowling alley, watching other people throw the ball down the lane. And I kept telling myself, be here now. That's good. Every single bowler had a different technique. And when I watched, it was kind of funny. Like some people would just lob that thing. You know, some people had the leg going behind their back beautifully and would really look like a bowler. Other people were like roll it like a little kid with a ball between two legs and it just slowly rolled down and watched him get strikes. And if I could just make myself be present so when a strike happens, I can celebrate with the person who got it, that's a good life. That's a good life. I've missed so many stripes because I wasn't present. And I think that's the lesson of. Maturing emotionally, of age. Don't miss it. Give them a high 5, celebrate with them, be there. Quit being so distracted and, you know, making to do lists constantly be here now if I learned anything. That is because that's what love is. I would answer, you know, as an 8, I would say, well, what would you, you know, what would be the thing that you want to do with the rest of your life, which people ask me a lot, and I would always say, I want to love better. Well, how do you do that? I think by being present. You know, Anthony one of the lessons I've learned is that not everybody benefits from a traditional 50 minute therapy hour or even from the typical weekly sessions. And that's why some people, even though they may have a great therapist, can go to couples therapy or personal counseling for months or even years. And never really get anywhere or make any progress. And that's why I am such a fan of the intensive counseling process that restoring the soul in Colorado, restoring the soul was created by my friend of 30 years Anthony, Michael Cusack. And what is Mike duke? He helps couples for individuals experienced deep change in half day blocks over one or two weeks. So Michael and his extraordinary team of counselors, he has developed and trained over the years know that sometimes you can't wait months or years to get to the bottom of an issue or to experience breakthrough. So for nearly 20 years, they've helped couples and individuals transform their relationships and their lives. So, if you are looking to get out of the rut you're in, but you can't wait months or years, call restoring the soul today for a free consultation with Michael's staff call 303-932-9777. That's 303-932-9777 and learn how their intensive counseling process can jump start your journey or launch you to a whole new place and as a special bonus just for typology listeners make sure to visit WWW dot restoring the soul dot com slash typology to download their PDF called
Typology
"michael cusack" Discussed on Typology
"Is more vivid and something in you just for me, it feels like, oh, everything's connected, everything belongs. Yeah. And it's inside. It's just a deep sense of gratitude that you get to be at that moment. And experiencing it. Yes. Yeah. And maybe it's in that moment that you realize, because I do think that we experience the most joy when we have most transcendent ourselves ourselves. We've no longer attached to it. We somehow or another moved beyond identifying with the self to identifying with the big, the big picture, the big reality of the universe. You know what I mean? What you just said is why I went from being a recording artist to being a producer and then ultimately becoming a filmmaker is because as a recording artist, it was just exhausting to wake up every day and think how am I going to get people to do stuff for me and it's so even at the best of it. It's just so me centered. And it's a particularly difficult place for a Christian to live in because of who we claim to be following. Who made himself of no reputation and took on the form of a servant and yet, you know, you're in a you're in a job that demands attention and eyeballs and focus on you. So when I started producing other artists, it was such a relief to wake up and think, what can I do to serve this artist the best? And then going into filmmaking, that's the most collaborative thing I've ever worked on by far. And it's such a communal experience to do that that and teaching is the same thing, teaching then, of course, it's just purely trying to serve students and communicate with them and help them. So that's probably where increased satisfaction and gratitude and joy comes as just by getting out of a scenario every day where you're trying to figure out how to get people to pay attention to you. Hey everybody, one of the lessons I've learned over the years is that not everybody benefits from a traditional 50 minute counseling session. And this is why some people can go to couples therapy or personal counseling for a long time and never really get anywhere. This is why I'm such a believer of intensive counseling and my friends at restoring the soul in Colorado created by my longtime friend Michael Cusack to help couples or individuals experience deep change and half day blocks over one or two weeks. Now listen, if you can't wait months or years to get to the bottom of an issue or to experience breakthrough, you need to get in touch with my friend Michael and his extraordinary team of counselors at restoring the soul. If you're looking to get out of the rut, you're in, but can't wait months or years, call restoring the soul today for a free consultation with Michael's staff call 303-932-9777 and learn how their intensive counseling process can help you as a special bonus just for typology listeners make sure to visit WWW dot restoring the soul dot com slash typology to download their PDF called 5 ways unaddressed trauma may be derailing your relationships. Well it sounds like you have navigated the journey from being an artist who was very well known to not being in the spotlight and certainly in the way that you were in the 80s, early night. For some people, that's a actually a fatal journey. They never are able to transition, right? We just know tons of people like that, right? They just did not transition well, right? And you've just transitioned beautifully. You know, to and I think part of it is the mindset you just described to make the transition from having it be all about me. Because it is, especially in the, you know, obviously in the Christian commercial world, if we can even it's amazing that we even put those words together in the same sentence. But there is one. Yes. Whether it's in book publishing or music or I mean obviously that's all changed a lot. But golly, whiz. I mean, the moment you put money, celebrity, Christian faith, and artistry into the same bucket and shake. That is one, like, flammable concoction. And a lot of people don't, I mean, we just have countless stories we could tell. People did not did not survive the blast of those four things colliding with each other, right? But then hopefully everything you've said is true, but then the band that brought me to Nashville, Chicago Guevara, which had a brief run, made a really good album that was not commercially successful. But critically acclaimed. Critically acclaimed, yes, we definitely got that. So we've actually reformed and I had a show business mentor back in the day who encouraged his sort of students to find that vulnerable spot inside themselves. And he said, nope, you don't have it. If you were totally well rounded individual, you wouldn't feel the need to get up on stage in the first place. And so, you know, why are we doing a show at the ryman this summer? Why are we going through this torture, except that that's obviously that's still there. We're not doing it for money. But it just sounds like fun. And so yeah, don't do it again. So I guess I haven't really escaped the gravitational pull at that. But hold on a second. You just described it. It just sounds like fun. There you go. Yeah. That's the gravitational pull, right? Is it just that makes sense? Yeah. And there's nothing wrong with wrong with that. As long as it's tempered with good self awareness. You know, I think. I mean, there's nothing wrong with wanting to do something for the fun. Yeah. I have a question regarding the show, the upcoming show. Will there be any cartwheels? Oh, yes, so I've been working on those because, you know, it's kind of in your backyard. I don't want to disappoint the fans, yes. I'm going to I'm going to be the be prepared. Sweet. Yeah. So yes, July 2nd at the ryman auditorium. If anybody's interested, we will be there. I will be there trying to do cartwheels. I saw you guys at Main Street in Murfreesboro. No way, that was a long time ago. You were living in Nashville at the time? Yes, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yes. So look forward to remember Main Street well. Here's my final question. This is a question I like to ask. What is your guilty little pleasure? Guilty pleasure? Yeah. That nobody knows about right now. It could be him. What did you have a guilty pleasure? It could be. You know, food. It could be a show you're watching. I don't want people to know that I'm really into it. You know what I mean? Yes. It's that Netflix show bad vegan. Oh yeah, you've seen it, right? Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Yeah, I don't know what it is about it. What's seriously? Let's talk about this. Should I lie down? Why? Well, for people who haven't seen bad vegan yet, it's the story, the true story of a woman who was the target of a scam artist, a con artist. She owned the most successful vegan restaurant, was it in LA? In New York City. In New York. And they were killing it. They were crushing it. And she led this
Typology
"michael cusack" Discussed on Typology
"Yeah, so when I was out in Southern California years ago, I went from pastoring a really, from all intents and purposes, a successful church to planting a church in my mid 20s, and it failed on all human metrics. And I remember being so sad about that. And what the enneagram helped me realize is that in that, it was kind of a kindness from God is how I would narrate that because I noticed that the enneagram helped me realize what I was sort of saved from, my own self in that way. And then what I was being invited to. And all of that is within our personalities where I noticed that the enneagram has the potential to sort of save us from and into ourselves. So there's a component of my journey where I felt like had I continued that trajectory. There would have just been exponential consequences. And we see that playing out right now on a grand scale with certain leaders in the public square. And confronting that failure confronting that humiliation helped invite me into ways in which my personality can be celebrated. Because I find it in a lot of workshops, I lead people tend to want to be another type. Yes. Because they think somehow the type they have is all bad. And if I could just be that type, then that might be better. And we know that the deliverance from that toxic part of our own egos also has a sort of another side to it that is a gift to the world. And so being able to confront that, which leads into all sorts of unhealthy mischief and being delivered from that, being liberated from that, and then being invited into parts of each of our personalities that are designed to reveal part of God's nature. In the communities in which we live, is and it's why we need community because none of us can do that alone. We need each other in health to display what God is like together to the world. You know, I've oftentimes thought people ask me, you know, what number is Jesus? And if you see the enneagram diagram, there's that huge white field in the middle. And it always strikes me that that's where Jesus lives is at the very center of it, right? Not attached to any particular type. But as. A human manifestation of the divine, right? It may not be exactly the way to put it. But having access equal access to all 9 types. And being able to move around the enneagram to draw on the resources of different types, either alone or in combination with each other. Naturally. So to me, part of spiritual formation is how do I let go of the machinations of my particular personality style and move into such a place that I have equal access to all of it because to do that would be to become someone living in the fullness of the image of God, right? I love when you say that too because I think it's one of the reasons why you see in the New Testament. He was so hard to nail down because you couldn't pin him down with any sort of defaults, you know? He was like his responses were so different in different situations because they were so specific, not coming out of a broken story. Well, in any given moment, maybe he was answering that question we've posed before. What does love require you right now? Right. And so when you ask, what does love require of me? It might be, well, I need to be a peacemaker. I need to be, you know, an observer investigator. You know what I mean? It's like, or some combination thereof. That seems to me to be a beautiful sort of place to realize. Good luck in this life, but we can make strides to hey everybody, one of the lessons I've learned over the years is that not everybody benefits from a traditional 50 minute counseling session. And this is why some people can go to couples therapy or personal counseling for a long time and never really get anywhere. This is why I'm such a believer of intensive counseling and my friends at restoring the soul in Colorado created by my longtime friend Michael Cusack to help couples or individuals experience deep change and half day blocks over one or two weeks. Now listen, if you can't wait months or years to get to the bottom of an issue or to experience breakthrough, you need to get in touch with my friend Michael and his extraordinary team of counselors at restoring the soul. If you're looking to get out of the rut, you're in, but can't wait months or years, call restoring the soul today for a free consultation with Michael's staff call 303-932-9777 and learn how their intensive counseling process can help you as a special bonus just for typology listeners make sure to visit WWW dot restoring the soul dot com slash typology to download their PDF called 5 ways unaddressed trauma may be derailing your relationships. Yeah, and I mean, I think a lot of the critique that I hear from the enneagram is that this is inherently a narcissistic tool. And it certainly can be that. It can be something where you go into a kind of inner fixation and a sort of mode where it really is about a narcissistic look at you and you alone, but what we realize is for me, it is an invitation into community because I feel like as we do tend towards certain types, we realized it to differentiate ourselves and to make space. For me as a leader as a three, it's important for me to have all sorts of people that tend to certain strategies and directions around me because I sense that together we can probably hold something more holy than I can do a lot. And you know what happens with a few times I do church presentations, right? I always finish a workshop with the eucharist. Always. Because I say, look, we have spent the whole day talking about how different we are from each other. And now, let me tell you about community. And how, in many ways, we're very similar. And that's what we experience here at this altar, right? And it's so beautiful then when you see people come up and share the same bread in the same line and they realize, oh, this is this whole exercise has been about we, not me. Beautiful, beautifully put. Okay, so you had this experience, you leading a church plant thing took a bad dive, you experienced humiliation. As a result, you were the experience held a mirror up to you. And so what? What do you like now? That's different from them. As a result, two of your work at the end. I think I've learned to take that part of myself less seriously. I mean, so much of that was, for me, that was my invitation and the contemplative world. Because a lot of my writing recently has been that a lot of us that either do church work or were a part of that community faith or even other faith communities, what you find is that it's easy to pray at God to God, for God. Those are fine and well and good. But it often comes at the expense of learning to be with God. And I had realized that in my 20 years of faith at that point, almost all of that was rooted in getting something from God that I felt like I wanted and needed and probably in some sense had believed I deserve. And so as a three, the invitation to be with God led
Typology
"michael cusack" Discussed on Typology
"These markers. Oh yeah, totally. We need help. Yeah. You know, on the journey. You know Anthony one of the lessons I've learned. Is that not everybody benefits from a traditional 50 minute therapy hour or even from the typical weekly sessions. And that's why some people, even though they may have a great therapist, can go to couples therapy or personal counseling for months or even years. And never really get anywhere or make any progress. And that's why I am such a fan of the intensive counseling process that restoring the soul in Colorado, restoring the soul was created by my friend of 30 years Anthony, Michael Cusack. And what is Mike duke? He helps couples or individuals experience deep change in half day blocks over one or two weeks. So Michael and his extraordinary team of counselors, he has developed and trained over the years know that sometimes you can't wait months or years to get to the bottom of an issue or to experience breakthrough. So for nearly 20 years, they've helped couples and individuals transform their relationships and their lives. So, if you are looking to get out of the rut you're in, but you can't wait months or years, call restoring the soul today for a free consultation with Michael's staff call 303-932-9777. That's 303-932-9777 and learn how their intensive counseling process can jump start your journey or launch you to a whole new place and as a special bonus just for typology listeners make sure to visit WWW dot restoring the soul dot com slash typology to download their PDF called 5 ways unaddressed trauma may be derailing your relationship. So we've gone through this four stage process in these last four weeks. Yeah. I hope it's been really helpful to people. Yes. What I want to just remind people is, you know, you have to kind of read the story of you because if we're just touching a teeny bit on each of these things compared to what I do in the book, right? And of course, the workbook, we don't want to forget about the workbook. The workbook is now available. It is now available and that's going to be a real help to people. Yeah, I talked about that a little bit at the beginning of the show and the intro. So yeah, go get that one if you don't have it yet. Right, because it's going to drive you even deeper into the process. Right, we're just any parting thoughts for listeners on this show today. Well, yes. You can live a new story. You do not have to live in the prison of your old story. You can live a better narrative in the world. And when you do, you know, you are going to experience we mentioned this on earlier show, the wonderful feeling of being at home in your own skin. I like that. And there's such a feeling of joy when you realize, you know what? That's the old me. And now there's a new version of me that comes about as a result of living in the new story. Because remember, as damn it Adams, the professor at northwestern likes to say all transformation is story transformation. I love that. You know, speaking of prompts, you know, I have a quote from an Anglican bishop named George Appleton. And I love it because it's such a benediction or a prayer as you begin to do this work, right? He says, give me a candle of the spirit, oh God, as I go down into the deep of my own being. Show me the hidden things. Take me down to the spring of my life and tell me my nature and my name. Give me freedom to grow so that I may become my true self, the fulfillment of the seed which you planted in me at my making. Oh man, that's a beautiful way to go out. It sure is. Yeah. So thank you for walking us through these four steps. See own awaken and now today rewrite, I hope you all have enjoyed this. We sure enjoyed being able to bring it to you Ian, you want to give us a close. Sure. Friends, may you have love, then you have joy. May you have peace, may you have healing, may you have rest? Until next time.
Typology
"michael cusack" Discussed on Typology
"Typology. Yeah, there's a section in it like I just said that it's a so describes it for. I didn't even really know the enneagram then. Okay. So this is from that book. Jesus, my father, the CIA, me. I write, this is not the well rehearsed story of the once adorable child who temporarily goes through the pouty lipped surly adolescent phase, only to reemerge at 18 with a new perspective on life in a scholarship to Princeton. The conviction that I was on unlovable freak had metastasized in my heart so that I curved in on myself. I was beginning to make private everything that was good about me. One of my favorite stores in Greenwich was jeans, bicycle shop. New and used bikes hung from hooks on the ceilings like sides of beef in a butcher shop. As you walked through the store, you had to Dodge and weave to avoid hitting your head on handlebars and spiked petals. The old oak floors were covered in dust and cloud shaped three in one oil stains. And the never ending sound of clicking gears played like muzak in the background. I once went to genes to get my orange ten speed Raleigh fixed. And he said that my front tire was quote unquote out of true. I had never heard the expression before. When a tire rim is bent or one of its spokes is missing or damaged, the wheel no longer spins straight or true. It goes cockeyed and wobbly, and if it's bad enough riding on it becomes impossible. That was it. I felt out of true. I was sure there was some indefinable darkness in me that I needed to make reparation to God for a shameful defect far more serious than the pedestrian inner flaws of my peers. I subconsciously decided I could either win my father's love, restore my family's former glory and to sway the anguish I was experiencing at home by becoming the good boy who excelled at everything or become a bad boy and gain my father's attention that way. It's strange the way people trawl for love. Wow. So when I read that, I'm like, oh my gosh, that is a pure four story. I felt out of true, man. Yeah. And you know, to be able to see that and then own it, and then all the what happened as a result of feeling that way. I mean, I was about, I don't know. I was in 7th grade when this happened. That is the story I adopted, man. Wow. I am out of true. There is some indefinable darkness in me. It's unbelievable when I read it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. That's amazing. Thanks for sharing that with us. I love that work of yours. So that sort of the shadow side, what's something that's beautiful that you recognize as you did this process and that you said to yourself, you know what? This is something I need to bring into my new story. Yeah, and it's actually something I have to own. You know, we spend so much time focused on the negative. Yeah, right? And to recognize, oh my gosh, you know? I need to own my beauty, which by the way is very frightening. It's a lot easier, really, to own those parts of yourself that are broken and aren't working and all that stuff. And it's also our nature to sort of focus in on those things. But it's really scary to own your beauty because guess what? Once you do, there's a burden of responsibility now to deploy that beauty into work in the world. Right. To own what's, I mean, there's kind of a weird threat. You think it was just going to be awesome, but it's also like, oh, I own that beauty about myself, then what am I going to do with it? Wow. You know, Anthony, one of the lessons I've learned. Is that not everybody benefits from a traditional 50 minute therapy hour, or even from the typical weekly sessions. And that's why some people, even though they may have a great therapist, can go to couples therapy or personal counseling for months or even years. And never really get anywhere or make any progress. And that's why I am such a fan of the intensive counseling process that restoring the soul in Colorado, restoring the soul was created by my friend of 30 years Anthony, Michael Cusack. And what does Mike do? He helps couples for individuals experienced deep change in half day blocks over one or two weeks. So Michael and his extraordinary team of counselors, he has developed and trained over the years know that sometimes you can't wait months or years to get to the bottom of an issue or to experience breakthrough. So for nearly 20 years, they've helped couples and individuals transform their relationships and their lives. So, if you are looking to get out of the rut you're in, but you can't wait months or years. Call restoring the soul today for a free consultation with Michael's staff call 303-932-9777. That's 303-932-9777 and learn how their intensive counseling process can jump start your journey or launch you to a whole new place and as a special bonus just for typology listeners make sure to visit WWW dot restoring the soul dot com slash typology to download their PDF called 5 ways unaddressed trauma may be derailing your relationship. So Ian we've talked about the shadow side, but give us an example of a place where you've had to own your beauty. Yeah, well, you know, I think one of the things that I've come to appreciate about myself is that I've kind of dedicated my whole life to helping people make sense of their suffering. As a therapist, as a priest, it's like, how does this, what does this mean? What does life mean? What does my journey signify and how can I use it in a way that blesses others in the world? That has been my life journey, right? And how do I mark these things for people, whether it's through eucharist or through speaking, it's like, how do I get people in touch with the mystery, and I've had to own the fact that that has been a blessing in the world, and that's part of the four story. Fours are brilliant at that stuff. They're just really, really good at helping people navigate dark spaces. And that's just something I've always been good at. It's something that I think is a wonderful gift in something beautiful about me is like, well, I just read this. That passage. For me, writing that is delicious. To share that story of feeling out of true. And then I just hope that when someone reads it, they say, oh yeah, me too. And there's this incredible emotional connection between me and the reader in that moment. I have to own that I know how to do that. That's good. You know what I mean? Yeah. And not be embarrassed to say, oh no, well, you know, blah blah blah. It's like, no, man. That's what this tigger does. Yeah. And I'm good at it. Yeah. And I need to own that, right? Now if I don't own it, this book won't get written. That's right. There you go, man. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So I have to own that beauty and then be responsible for putting it out into the world. That gift out into the world. Yeah. Instead of ducking it. Yeah. You know? Love that. Okay, so on that note, let's talk about and we'll wrap it with this, what is one beautiful thing that each type
Typology
"michael cusack" Discussed on Typology
"Like, oh, what are the ways that our marriage has been, it's easy for me to think about the good parts. It's more difficult for me to focus and talk about, oh, where do we, where do we need to grow here? Where do we need to? Because then it makes me feel like, oh, what have I done wrong? It shines a light maybe on some of those places where I need to really grow and change and all for good, right? But sometimes I think, oh no, this is too much for me. I just want to keep that internal and external piece. But I'm so grateful because it's definitely helped me along in my journey and on my path. And I used to feel like, oh, Ian's way beyond me. Like, I'll never catch up in terms of his emotional strength, you know, and his spiritual strength. And I used to kind of wallow in that, like, oh, you know, I feel so inferior. And I don't feel that way at all now. Thankfully. I know I'm on my own journey, you know, Ian's on his own journey, but it's been, you know, in more recent history, I'm grateful to be challenged in that way. And I think fours are all about that. You know, Anthony one of the lessons I've learned is that not everybody benefits from a traditional 50 minute therapy hour or even from the typical weekly sessions. And that's why some people, even though they may have a great therapist, can go to couples therapy or personal counseling for months or even years. And never really get anywhere or make any progress. And that's why I am such a fan of the intensive counseling process that restoring the soul in Colorado, restoring the soul was created by my friend of 30 years Anthony, Michael Cusack. And what is Mike duke? He helps couples or individuals experience deep change in half day blocks over one or two weeks. So Michael and his extraordinary team of counselors, he has developed and trained over the years know that sometimes you can't wait months or years to get to the bottom of an issue or to experience breakthrough. So for nearly 20 years, they've helped couples and individuals transform their relationships and their lives. So, if you are looking to get out of the rut you're in, but you can't wait months or years. Call restoring the soul today for a free consultation with Michael's staff call 303-932-9777. That's 303-932-9777 and learn how their intensive counseling process can jump start your journey or launch you to a whole new place and as a special bonus just for typology listeners make sure to visit WWW dot restoring the soul dot com slash typology to.
Typology
"michael cusack" Discussed on Typology
"Oftentimes that's the only normal you've ever known, which is why a lot of people don't even know. The extent to which they've been traumatized because that's just their everyday. Yeah, it's the fish water trope, right? It's like even in the water so long, you don't even know there's the water, the water of trauma is all around you. You know Anthony one of the lessons I've learned is that not everybody benefits from a traditional 50 minute therapy hour or even from the typical weekly sessions. And that's why some people, even though they may have a great therapist, can go to couples therapy or personal counseling for months or even years. And never really get anywhere or make any progress. And that's why I am such a fan of the intensive counseling process that restoring the soul in Colorado, restoring the soul was created by my friend of 30 years Anthony, Michael Cusack. And what does Mike do? He helps couples for individuals experienced deep change in half day blocks over one or two weeks. So Michael and his extraordinary team of counselors, he has developed and trained over the years know that sometimes you can't wait months or years to get to the bottom of an issue or to experience breakthrough. So for nearly 20 years, they've helped couples and individuals transform their relationships and their lives..
Typology
"michael cusack" Discussed on Typology
"Yeah. And then to be able to make it work. Yeah. Go ahead. I was just thinking because y'all are an 8 and 9 and you're in business together. Are you all familiar with the time orientation of each type? Uh uh. No. We talked about that. Yeah, so every type has an orientation to time. All of us think in terms of past present and future, obviously, unless you're a Buddhist monk and it's always present. What a great Christian mystic and it's always the present moment, right? Be here now. But I think with 8, they have a very future orientation. So it doesn't mean they don't think past present. It just means that their attention tends to migrate more toward the future, right? And a 9 is actually a little bit more of a past thinker. So yeah, that makes sense. Yes. And so that's kind of what makes this work. You know, is that there's a little yin and Yang going on there, which can be healthy. It also can help you understand what happens in conflict because one is thinking so future oriented. The other one is thinking more in the past, Christine, you do need to think more about the future and Steve, you do need to think more about the past. You know what I mean? And so it's just knowing those orientations the time can be super, super helpful. But in business, you do need to have a future oriented thinker on the team. I mean, I don't even know what to do without him. We would not be here today. Let's just say that. Yeah. But I don't even, I don't even, it doesn't even cross my mind. Like, I can't not think about the past. I mean, a good example is in August. All of the spring things we planted were dying off, like as they do, which is totally normal. And I just had this moment of panic. I was like, our farm looks ugly. It looks horrible. It's never going to be beautiful again. We have all these people coming here this fall. And he's like, okay, take a breath. He's like, you know, he can see. He could see into the future. He's like, all we need to do is plan a bunch of flowers. It's going to be fine. It's going to be beautiful again. And all I could think back to is what it was. You know? And what it did look like before. And I like, I was stuck in that. I couldn't get out of that and see the potential. And so I think that he brings that so much. He brings that potential and helping me move just another step forward to see what can happen and what can become. And I think that's a great example. And in that example, I think the way our relationship works is instead of me being frustrated that she can't see how beautiful it's going to be in the fall. I just go and plant the wildflower. Yeah, like he didn't even ask. I just thought there one day. Got it all done. And today, the farm is absolutely gorgeous. We just did a you pick with people were blown away. They came out and they've just like life changed, you know, people are coming out here and they're like, this is the most beautiful place we've ever been and all the flowers are everywhere because we don't have all the produce that we had back in May and June and July. But instead of me just being angry at her or frustrated with her that she couldn't see it, I just had to go, she can't see it. It's hard for her to see, just like I literally forgot what happened yesterday. Literally, I can't even remember. And because all I can think about is tomorrow. That is, that's what makes the work, I think. Gosh, it's such a great expression of those two orientations and how y'all are dealing with that. I love that you just went out and planted the wild flowers. I know. Isn't that good? It's wonderful. I know. It's pretty, I mean, I don't like to say this word, but sometimes the integrand is so predictive. Yeah. About how people are going to. Now, people surprise us and do things that we think are out of character or so different for their personality, so I don't want to discount or disqualify the possibility that someone will do something that's not characteristic. We're not locked. Into something. But you know, it's just we have different ways of moving in the world and it can partner and sync up really well or not. Yeah. Just depending on how healthy people are or how much work they've done on themselves. You know, Anthony one of the lessons I've learned is that not everybody benefits from a traditional 50 minute therapy hour or even from the typical weekly sessions. And that's why some people, even though they may have a great therapist, can go to couples therapy or personal counseling for months or even years. And never really get anywhere or make any progress. And that's why I am such a fan of the intensive counseling process that restoring the soul in Colorado, restoring the soul was created by my friend of 30 years Anthony, Michael Cusack. And what does Mike do? He helps couples or individuals experience deep change in half day blocks over one or two weeks. So Michael and his extraordinary team of counselors, he has developed and trained over the years know that sometimes you can't wait months or years to get to the bottom of an issue or to experience breakthrough. So for nearly 20 years, they've helped couples and individuals transform their relationships and their lives. So, if you are looking to get out of the rut you're in, but you can't wait months or years. Call restoring the soul today for a free consultation with Michael's staff call 303-932-9777. That's 303-932-9777 and learn how their intensive counseling.
Typology
"michael cusack" Discussed on Typology
"Now, I want to be careful and just say that when I talk about faith, you know, I'm a person of who hails from a more Christian tradition. So that means one thing there. But let's say someone's listening who doesn't self identify that way. So what I mean by that is that, well, I mean, in the sense that in a 12 step recovery program, that for those folks who don't self identify as Christians, it's this belief in a higher power that is possesses more love and power to help them manage life in this scary world. Right, right? Yeah. And so, you know, I think when that happens, they trust themselves more. They trust that they can make decisions. They can without having to always be looking around for support. Yeah, so some of that is faith in yourself, right? For the 6, they do need to trust themselves. Totally. Yeah. Totally. Now, enthusiasts. Man, I feel like one of the things that enthusiasts often feel is this feeling of deprivation. It's this feeling like they're always being deprived of something so they have to keep grabbing for more and more and more and more. So it's relinquishing that feeling of deprivation that's around them all the time, right? And so then the inflamed desire for intellectual stimulation or adventures or, you know, new experiences and ideas, right? It's kind of cooled. Right. It's not on fire anymore. And they're learning to live in the truth of the here and now. And realizing that should they, when they have distressing emotions, when they face pain, when they face, you know, difficult circumstances or thoughts. That there will be people there to support them because I think one of the messages and the old story of the 7, you know, I don't know where it begins, I think it's different for everybody is I'm on my own and no one if I'm going to get my needs been I'm going to have to take care of it myself. Right. So that's the journey I think. And it makes sense that they're going to move from gluttony to sobriety. And I don't quite know what to make of the word sobriety sometimes for 7s. But the other word you would use for it or phrase. Maybe moderation. Okay. To moderate their gluttony. They need a governor. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, governor. So that's an important thing for them. And also know that God is there. God is present. Not alone. Yeah, we have, we're told, especially, I think about the book of Isaiah. We have a suffering God. And so, you know, just to know that when I suffer, God suffers with. That's beautiful. It's really important for them. All right, 8s? Yeah, man. All right, so 8s when they've learned how to own the passion of lust that has controlled them. They begin to realize that they no longer have to move against other people. They can move bravely toward them with an undefended heart. You know, I was with our friend Michael Cusack on a weekend and I was serving as a group therapist on a weekend he does. And he said something in a large group talk that stuck with me. He said, it's so much more powerful if you lead with weakness than strength..
Typology
"michael cusack" Discussed on Typology
"Don't put up with me but i might do it now. Hey everybody one of the lessons. I've learned is that not everybody benefits from traditional fifty minute counseling session and this is why some people can go to couples therapy or personal counseling for a long time and never really get anywhere. This is why. I'm such a believer of intensive counseling and my friends at restoring the soul in colorado created by longtime friend michael cusack to help couples or individuals experienced deep change in half day blocks over one or two weeks. Now listen if you can't wait muster years to get to the bottom of this you to experience breakthrough you need to get in touch with my friend michael and his extraordinary team of counsellors at restoring the soul. You're looking to get out of the rut. You're in but can't wait. Munster years call restoring the sole today for a free consultation with michael's staff call three zero three nine three two nine seven seven seven and learn how their intensive counseling process can help you as a special bonus just for typology listeners. Make sure to visit. Www dot restoring the sole dot com slash typology to download their pdf called five ways unaddressed. Trauma maybe derailing your relationships. It sounds to me like you know you're a young seven who hit a bottom and you had no choice but to turn around and face what it was the source of anxiety right the source of fear in the process of that. Have you felt like running. Like just like this is too much. this is too intense. I i just. I can't look at this stuff. Yes i have the. That's one of the beautiful things about even a panda may is. I can't britain. I literally like the pandemic as hard is literally anybody's worst nightmare but i feel like with my mental health issues and also being any like this is my worst nightmare not being able to do anything not being able to pick seven you hobbies to do a week because like it's the worst case scenario so i think that since we're on i mean it's almost two years coming up like even though i've wanted run. I can't go to portugal. I can't go rob klein and not deal. Like i literally had just had to serve emmy and it so yeah. I wanted to run at times. But i can't like i just i can't do anything you know so as far as this time has been it's really really really been like a blessing to have a. Yeah i i had no idea go every type of different struggles in the pandemic but seven. You just described to think what a lot of of felt which is like you know. I don't have the ability. You know all my defense mechanisms of are being taken away taking away right. And i i don't i have to either face. What is or come up with new ones and some do you know some. Do they just find a way to check out. You know in in the middle of it all. What when you think about the book like. Let's imagine i'm in the. I'm in barnes and noble and i'm you happen to be standing next me. I'm looking at your book and you say oh that's a. I think it really enjoyed that book. I said you really why. Why should i buy this book. avid reader. i love reading. So i like can see this from a reader perspectives. It goes deep. It's funny it's really. I really really focused on keeping it. True to how i talk. So it's very personable and it will inspire you will also call you out it will. It's just a lot of things. And so i think that that's so cool because anybody can get something from it you know like i was even worried because obviously my audiences mostly the ladies and i was like i want this to be for everybody. I want this to be for guys. And i had my husband and one of my good friends. Ricardo like have read it in really loved it and connected with it. And i'm like so stoked is just for everybody because i really wanted it to be something that somebody could make up and at any point flipped to a page and read a few pages and get something from it and Yeah that's what. I would say to that i'd be like do. You should get it like it. It's a lot of things and in one of those things that is in the book. You will connect you and hopefully be inspired and encouraged by. Grew all right so last question. you Do you have a word of encouragement or advice to a seven Who is you know. Not not living their best life yet. What what would you tell seven on. The perhaps the beginning edge of their journey of self discovery facing the pain of their of their lives some of which contributed to their the darker aspects or the shadow blind spots of their type. Like what would you. What advice would you give them. I would say that the work is worth. It is intimidating as teeth. Gritting as horrible as it may seem to look at everything in front of you that you might have to deal with just know that it is so worth it your future self even if it might take a couple months to get serious for us we're gonna put it down and pick it up hundred thousand times and it might take us four times as long to do it and for me. I mean it almost took like ten years till i really be able to do this like if you would have been this podcast. Three years ago. I would not be saying like it. Just it's worth it and as much as we love like beauty and joy and all of these things that are sparkly. Our pain is beautiful too. And i think that that's something that as a seven like don't be sad by it's an adventure and like if you can look at it through the eyes of what you look at everything else. You know when you travel when you do this when you do that. Like our pain in our healing is just as important if not more for than all of the other things that we love. And on that note i have to say i got chill bumps when you said that our pain is beautiful for seven i mean what a powerful revelation this seven is tailored tippett author of the new book words from the window seat the everyday magic of kindness courage and being your true self. Y'all can go get it amazon everywhere else that you buy your books by the way everybody support of independent book store is well yes. Please always any bookstores forever. It's right absolutely instagram tailored tip. Ti p. p. e. t. and Same thing on instagram. And you have a youtube channel as well l. All the things the seven we do it all. Thanks so much for being on typology you thank you. It was really a treat. Think guys good work. Good luck with all the work. You're doing on yourself with the drop of the book. Yale issue every good thing. This thank you so much twenty dollars you tried. You know we love you and always remember. The words may have love. You have joy. May you have peace. May you have healing. May you have rest until we meet again. People see you.