20 Episode results for "Mestre"

Meditation: Relaxing Back into the Mystery (2018-10-17)

Tara Brach

18:27 min | 2 years ago

Meditation: Relaxing Back into the Mystery (2018-10-17)

"The following meditation is led by Tara Brock to access more of my meditations. Join my Email list, please visit Tara brach dot com. As you come into stillness, feel your breath and the area of the heart. Become increasingly sensitive to the feelings felt sense in the area of the heart. Ask yourself, what is my deepest intention for being here? For practicing meditation. This is an inquiry about what most matters to let your heart longs for. As you send what matters the sign of really being connected to a deep intention is you'll feel sincere. Secure body thing. Yes. I care about this. Aware of your sitting posture. Letting yourself said they say like a Buddha, halfway between heaven and earth. Sitting tall. Net rooted. If you can relax any parts of the body that are obviously tensor tight. You might soften in the shoulders and let the shoulders relaxed back down a little. Might soften the hand. You can feel as you relaxed the hand, the sin seychas inside them. Tingling, the vibrating. Might let there be an openness at the chess. And see if you can soften and relax the belly, let this mex- breath be received a softening belly. This spread. And now this one. Again. Can feel the brass and the aliveness deepen the torso. Lacks to the legs. Feet spread and Rask comfortably on the floor, feel the contact places where your feet touch the floor. Warmth pressure. You'll inside the feet. The movement of energy tingling vibrating. Open the attention, feel your whole body sitting here again. Fueled of sensation. Actually, if you feel it directly. Everything's moving. He'd be cool or warm pressure flow tingling, pulsing. Include sound in your awareness. You're listening not just with your ears, your whole awareness. Global kind of listening that lets everything in. Receptor. Notice how listening. You don't have to do anything. Sounds are known spontaneously. I aware awareness. Relax the back into that awareness. That openness that's listening to and feeling. The whole moment. Foreground you might notice again, this play of sound. Sounds in the room. Distant sounds. The foreground. You might notice the sensations. Tingling pressure aliveness. Might notice passing moods. Killings motions. The background is that awake presence. Which is aware. This objective actually of your being. Brassed in that relaxed a week presence. Noticing what's happening. Moment to moment. For some. Away of quieting the mind, calming in the foreground you might attend. Just the waves of the breath. The breath, be your friend, your home base. The inflow. The outflow. Mental moment. This station of the breath. Night, feel the whole body breathing. Whole body expanding. And then deflated. Even on a cellular level. For some rather than the brass that can help just feel the sensation in the hands of the feed. The sensations of the sitting posture. Moment to moment. As a way to steady quiet, the mind. You'll notice at some point that you're no longer resting in presence that the mind carried you off into the future the past totally natural. And when you notice it, you have a choice. You can relax back. Relaxed fack into presence. Reopening the attention listening to sounds. Reopened, the sensitivity to the body, perhaps by seeing what might wanna relax a little more on your body. Maybe letting go on the shoulders again. Maybe bringing a slight smile to the mouth and relaxing through the face. Maybe relaxing your heart. Breasting again in the presence that is aware of the breathing. Say, shoots that are here. Notice what it's like to Rask in the gap between the thoughts. When there's no thinking that's taken over what's right here. Can you send the gap between the thoughts? The awareness sets here. This mystery of presence. You can start fresh any moment. Do you notice you've been off a thinking trance. Relaxing back. You can ask what's happening inside me right now. Can I be with this. Notice the difference between being inside thought. And this vividness being right here. Mystery. Presidents. Part of closing meditation. Share the uphold from the poet data Faulds. It only takes a reminder to breathe. A moment to be still. And just like that something settles softens make space for imperfection. The harsh voice of judgement drops to whisper. We can remember again that life isn't a relay race that we all across the finish line that waking up to life is what we're born for. As many times as we forget catch ourselves charging forward without even knowing where we're going that many times we can make the choice to pause. To pre and be and walk slowly into the Mestre. Many times as we forget and catch ourselves charging forward without even knowing where we're going. That many times we can make the choice to pas to breathe. And be and walk slowly into investor. Stay.

Rask Tara Brock Mestre
Pursuit of Excellence with Joy Ross

Living Fearlessly with Lisa McDonald

56:18 min | 2 years ago

Pursuit of Excellence with Joy Ross

"Welcome to living fearlessly with your host. Recent Madonna told me when. Where relevance to? Cover. Good morning. Everybody can very much for joining rejoining me on this lovely Friday morning. My name is Lisa McDonald's. Hostess, contact talk radio network. Listenership spans two one hundred and forty five countries. Two hundred twenty TV radio Tresco satellite potential by to Dallas when we are joined by another phenomenal guest. Mike today is one of my metrics. But before I applied her bio at formally introduced, I want to as I always do my corporate sponsors the leading myself deliver week Donald sponsorship thank yous to haul that forever hope. And while I want to thank the loyalists who all on network where corporal wing the live show. You can find podcast also my ho- speech with bottled. So who is my guest today? Well, my guess is spider of joy loss. Joy is a mother aspiring author entrepreneur visual, artists, educator, healer and visionary impressed at an early age by her father's differences into termination joys. Curtain story of Mike carols remarkable. Oh life and how he triumphed over the insurmountable. Devastation of losing his left arm and his eyesight in a dynamite. Explosion yet went on to live a life of Mestre touchstone for many Mike aim to consistently exceed his personal best of sport. And then all areas of life. Let him to live fearlessly. And without let's sport, quote in sport as in life in general of excellence needs to be a constant goal as I continued manifests philosophy. All-star running billable as resorts both for CUNY for individuals in order at dreams of other. He realized as well, quote, of course, offered by Mike turtle with her book in del vision joys committed to bringing Michael Tyrrell's story to life to inspire. Hope. Courage perseverance 'em beauty in the face of tragedy. Hey joy. How are you? Egis plugging your dad's file, I let it be known that. You're my guest today. We have a mentoring partnership have had for over a year now and a few years ago when I gave a talk at all country club in new came up to finally, and you said you wanted to talk to me and very richly bought my books, and that burst of Bill relationship between you, and I and here we are now talking on the airwaves about you in the process of birthing your own book based on your dad's legacy Seles just jump right into it. Walk them to live fearlessly with Lisa McDonald? And so, of course, having just shared your bio here and the the catalyst behind you. Joining us on radio joy, let's talk a little bit about the inception of your journey. What are some of the earliest recollections that you have of your dad that really imprinted at a very young age. What kind of a man he was what his character wasn't of course, that being long before his his tragedy. Well, in fact v. The tragedy happened before I was born. So I grew up not really not knowing that that there. There was a challenge. A problem. It was regular everyday life. Fra we shown just yeah. My dad handicap and has disability and the things that the challenges that he faces he faced Justin every day activities, such you know, trying to hire shoes wouldn't one hand. And no vision, simple tasks such as even brushing his teeth. For example, we have lots of conical stories of things that. You know happen as a result of circumstances that just are quite humorous. So I remember one time when I was a kid that my dad came out of the bathroom, and he really wasn't too too happy. He had ended up a brushing his teeth, but not with toothpaste, unfortunately, but with five three five. Though, you know, your sense of humor. Well, we definitely use humor to help us. Get through the challenges that we faced every day with my dad, and as a family to you know, and just just the way that we had to be in the world in order to overcome obstacles. And you know, a great a great example of how to do that. And and we learned we learned well from from him. He was my hero and an excellent teacher fan. My mom too. She she really contributed to the dynamic of everything working out. And and. My dad really had a very very successful existence. And he he faces challenges with with dignity and and humor and humor. Yeah. Of course humor. You can't leave that one that gets us through everything. Does it not? No, definitely definitely not. If I just give you a little bit of the backdrop of my dad accident and how and when that happened. So my dad was originally from Dublin he was born and raised there in Dublin Ireland and in nineteen fifty seven he came to Canada, and he would have been at that time twenty one and he worked in a mine in northern Ontario and at twenty three in August of nineteen. Sixty he went into work as any regular day. You know, down the mineshaft he was working at a copper mine just outside of Thunder Bay. And while he was there working him and his partner or drilling holes. And he was packing the dynamite in the hole and twenty two sticks of dynamite went off prematurely God and unexpectedly. And so consequently, what happened was there was a lot of rock that was embedded into my dad's body and mostly and his leg in in his face. And at that time his hand would left hand was very badly damaged and his partner was. Not in the exact same location as him. But he was quite vocal about everything that had happened. So my dad decided that he must be in worse shape than me. So I'll go down to get help. So he traveled quarter of a mile through the mine shaft while. Yeah. To to to get to a place where where he could get some help. Well, there were a couple of guys who are starting their after noon shift and they came upon him in a ditch. He was still conscious. However, he was really at that point just clinging to life. He had already lost a lot of blood, and he did not know at the time that. He had completely lost his vision instantly. His optic nerves were severed during the explosion. And so he was then taken to hospital, and where he started a very long road to recovery. So that time my parents were recently engaged they had gotten engaged. It's a few months before that. So I do have a. Quote, that my dad said after after she was in in the hospital, and then informed that that he was. Never going to see again and his leg was temporarily. Paralyzed. So that that was okay. Because eventually he regained all his mobility in his legs, and that was wonderful. So here's about. Pardon me. You said that you had a quote. Yes. I do he talked about how he responded to the doctor after the doctor told him that he was never going to see again. And he said. I was only twenty three and I figured that life has been pretty good. So far, I felt that if I took this prognosis too serious way that I might actually 'cause my own death. So I decided that I was not going to let it rattle me. And that I was going to move forward and make the best of the situation. Well, let me tell you why I love that joy. I mean that that speaks volumes to the character and the integrity of your dad in him being truly a class act so much so that not just because by blood related, you know, you are enabled by your dad because we we as as children, not everybody has a great relationship with their parents, not everybody instinctively feels a kinship to their parents often times, we choose our family based on other relationships or other reasons, but that quote that you just read right? There says everything I mean, we're going to go on and talk in more deeper lake than and more detail about your dad in war testimonials similar to that. But that says everything because most people in that situation, it would be it's like people who get a diagnosis of cancer, they automatically presume, Kate, this is it undying this, you know, and then that shuts down the mindset to go. No, you know, there's an opportunity here to embrace. Lesson. There's an opportunity here to do something with this this happen for a reason. What can I do not only catapult myself on the trajectory of not only in your dad's, case, healing and recovery? But doing something masterful doing something, you know, doing something with conviction doing something all in which a lot of people who have all their faculties, and are completely able bodied still unfortunately, miss the the gift of what it is to have this life and to do something paramount with it and to make count every single day. Oftentimes, the people who I interview who I'm most captivated by are the people who've had the most heinous circumstances happen to them the the most debilitating type of emotional spiritual physical sexual whatever experience, and yet they're the ones who go deep within they find their inner strength, and they persevered in their absolutely fearless. And relentless. So this is exactly why you're on the show today outside of me just being. Little bit biased because I think you're phenomenal human being, but because the story of your dad really would resonate with listeners people love, this kind of stuff people love to know, the spirit, the soul conviction. So I just wanna say, I fully understand more. So than ever joy why you are who you are. I mean, what a stellar role model, in example to have been brought up by. Yes. Thanks lease. It's a real privilege to be here. And to share the story of my dad, and to to understand how he has affected my life, and how that is something that can be shared with lots of people and my dad was very much larger than life. He was a stone for people and there really wasn't. I don't think anybody who met him who wasn't touched in some way by his. His ability to to be present. And to really need each person as an individual where where he could've been sitting doing nothing. And feeling story for himself and seeing victims though, exactly right, but he flipped that on its head. And he did the complete opposite. Absolutely and immediately. Yes, I know that as I have been writing this book and doing interviews and spending a lot of time talking to my mom. She had told me, and this is not the first time that I have heard this that my father never allowed himself to be the victim not for love malevolent from the get go after the accident is in country was to move forward. Eight a life of purpose of triumph of of light of happiness. And and to really. Grab life and to. Dig into it. Get all deliciousness juicy nece that's available to us from life. Regardless of what are obstacles are regardless of what our challenges are regardless of what we're facing. Absolutely example of that. So well, let's talk about some of the things that your dad is. I mean, he was he was a bit of a rockstar in his community. I mean, everybody embraced him. He was caught instantly being interviewed and photographed and in the newspaper and showcased here in showcase their and sought out for this and sought out for that. Let's talk about some of those things that your dad did like in terms of creating his own milestones. As a result of his reinvention process going. Okay. This is what I've inherited. And this is what I'm choosing to do with that inspite of the circumstances. This is not going to be a doom and gloom. This is not going to be roll up in the fetal position bed. I've got work to do. I've got people to inspire, and it might not have even been cognizant conscious decision. But through the way, he chose to embrace those circumstances. He certainly accomplished that any did it rights until the end. So what what was your dad endeavoring to do? We talk about sport. What was he doing? Well sport was a big part of his enjoyment for and he in nine in the early eighties. He started to run and this time he would have been in his fifties. And the moon time is life that he ever trained to run and he begin to began to run for enjoyment. I can only imagine the feeling of freedom that he would have when he was running now for those people those listeners who don't know when a blind person or a visually impaired person runs they needed guide runner and the guys runner actually is they're basically for the blind person to make sure that they're going the right direction. And that they are aware of the terrain and all these things, but there really is a need for. Guide runners and. I think with this story. We also want to raise that awareness or lot of people who love running and they want to share the guest of running and what it gives them with someone who is visually impaired. And and it's very interesting the relationships that can develop and and and people also get great feeling from volunteering and helping someone. We're always looking for guide runners for the visually impaired. So for just started running around town, and he had one or two runners that joined him, and as it progressed he decided that he wanted to compete, so when he competed he joined the blind sports association, and when he competed he started with not just running but also practice them. So he was involved in discus job, Lynn and shotput. Impressive running. Yeah. Like unbelievable. And I mean, he broke records and Rutgers and beat owed kinds of people. He was just incredible. But his focus was always to be the best that he could be and you know, from your path. There's an athlete that it is really important for an athlete to what Pete Sampras calls play up. That we are competing against people who are better than off in order to make ourselves better to challenge. Ourselves to go beyond our limit and raise bar. Yes. Exactly. So what he ended up doing was. He was in the masters class. And then fortunately, the just were no other competitors in his. In his class. So he ended up running against nineteen year olds and twenty year old and. Yeah. In order to boost his fifth time, and he was constantly working to improve that personal best and he succeeded in doing that. Yeah. In the end, he was running a hundred meter sprint in sixteen seconds. Oh my dog. You touched upon a couple of things that I think are key to spend a little bit more time attention on hone in on for the listening audience. Because of course, the people who gravitate to this show, it's not just people who are successful business. But it's really mind body spirit is people who are immersed in the personal growth personal development industry, which you and I both individually our joy as well. And you know, so identical lot of athletes, and you know, there's a lot of sports analogies that are really great metaphors for life in general, whether we're talking about fortitude or resilience or tenacity, the human spirit, or whatever I mean, everything under the sun is encompassed into the category of sport analogy. You know? And and no, no coincidence. When we talk about my having been in sport and your dad being sport, there's all kinds of sports individual sports team sports. But I think what we talk about in. We hear as a catchphrase buzzword trendy right now about being the best version of yourself. And that's a great thing to be mindful of. And it doesn't matter. How cliche is you know? It's so true. It's so fundamentally true. But I think people who are immersed in individuals sports who are really only in competition with that pace clock to get their best time, regardless of who's running to the left of them or who's running to the right of them where my case having been swimmer who's in the left lane who's in the right lane. You're you're so you understand at a very young age. What is now a very much a catchphrase in terms of, you know, really only strive to be the best most improved version of yourself every single day. I think people who are immersed in individual sport grasp. That concept far quicker than the majority of most people. And so again that that explains a little bit more of another undercurrent layer who your dad is right, right? Yeah. And he really had that mindset as you everything that he had to deal with in life, and it helped a lot. Beautiful. And so when you think of outside of your dad's accolades in his accomplishments, the legacy, you know, in terms of your own private tender moments with him things that would be unbeknownst to the rest of the world here in certainly for those tuning into listening all over the globe. You know, what who was the tender Mike who was the tender dad, what were some of the things that you most recall about him, either in the father daughter relationship or one of your instant role models mentors on what is it about your dad that you'd like to share here that people might not necessarily know maybe a little bit for when the book comes out. Right. So Mike would completely fearless completely. Fearless. And in. Everything that he had to face and the roads that he chose to walk to create his tapestry of life. He Lilly did consciously decide to walk on and embrace his life. And what the realities of his life were. So he took what could be considered a huge adversity and. Turned it around in a way to create a life to love to to. To succeed too. Walk where ever was that. He needed to walk in order to accomplish what he needed to accomplish. So what I really noticed about him. And this is aside from being his daughter. Is that he had a a real listening ear, and he was a social worker. So he came by honestly, but fame time he was always very interested in other people's journeys. What they were accounting to do where they were at how they were. Seeing and perceiving and understanding what it is that they were going through a particular time. So he always was an open book and never afraid to talk about anything. And always there with his listening ear so really noticed that about him and not just with my sister. And I when we were kids, but with everyone who was involved in our lives. Beautiful beautiful. Well, you know, unfortunate that I never had the direct honor pleasure of knowing your dad because your dad is very much the type of person I would gravitate to tribes of you know, fellow soul five attracting tribe. But for what I do know about you joy, you definitely are your dad's daughter, and so as much as I wanna talk about your dad here and to plug the book that you're working on. We'll get into that momentary. But I wanna talk about from your lens, your perspective your your perception. How do you feel that you and your dad or synergistically connected? How do you believe that you are your dad's daughter because for somebody like me who's been mentoring? You we talk about intimate things and the back story and stuff like that. You you have inherited a lot of your dad's beautiful characteristics as a human being. But it doesn't matter. What I say. Or what I think I'd love for you to share with the listening audience. How you see yourself as a bit of a mirror to your dad in yourself. Well, thank you. Lisa. I think that I approach life in a similar way. And. Definitely it's what I have learned from him. But I've taken that. And and built on it. So without focusing too much on myself. I should I should've mentioned that I was diagnosed with stage for cancer in one the thirteen and my father was diagnosed with stage four cancer and in twenty twelve and he passed shortly after that as a result of the illness. My situation was slightly different. However, a cancer diagnosis is a cancer diagnosis, and it derails you there is no question. Anybody who's had that experience knows what I'm talking about. Anyone who's been involved with the person that they love who's had a cancer diagnosis? Also has a similar experience. The thing that I know and learned from my father that really saw me through that was quite simply. This reality that I've now been presented with. Is one reality. And it's my choice. How I am going to choose to deal with this reality. And these are that I had as I was diagnosed, you know, which is not very far off from what my dad was has been talking about saying. So yeah, no evidence is right. That's right. Lisa. And so definitely I felt him very closely with me during that time. It was the most. Well, I don't know to say it was the most difficult time. I mean, leaving my dad was a very difficult time in well for me. But everything what I know for sure is that everything that happened teaches you something. And there are a lot of lessons in our experiences. We all know the most challenging one or the best teachers, and I believe that time that I had to keep an open heart and an open mind, or I just might die for sure I might die. So I decided that I would open to the possibility that I might get a second chance, and I have and very grateful for that. And I believe that sharing legacy of my father's life is my purpose and share that. Well, I am just just just. Yes. Let's clarify. Let's clear off off ING I'm now approaching six years since my cancer diagnosis. Yes. Yes. Yes. And I appreciate you clarifying that because I wouldn't want people to think that you're brought on radio. Today's your last hurrah. Well, it'd be a good one. But let's not make it the last two rock. No. Well, it would be a good one. But we still have the book. Right. Let's. More. Yes. So much more. So let's talk about the title absolutely, loved the title. What was the moment of clarity? Where that said to you. Bingo. That's the title. That's the book. This is the story. How did this all come together? Because people oftentimes think about things, but they don't necessarily act upon it. Or they've got this notion or they've got their inner voice intuitively. You know, beckoning them do this do this do this in a lot of people resign themselves to listening to that because of fear. But when we talk about your dad, having truly been a demonstrated example of somebody who chose to fearlessly, and you also being of your dad's elk being his daughter being very much like minded in the same regard. What was your moment of living fearlessly? We're you thought you know, what I can't just think about this anymore. I absolutely need to do this. And this is the particular book in mind that I need to write. And this is what it needs to be premised on cue to have the listeners know a little bit of the backstory arou-. And the book. Sure. It's interesting to look is something that I have tossed around actually for years long before my dad got ill and passed him. And I used to talk about writing book, I kept saying to him my God, you know, if people could just know this story, it's in didn't read -able and. We kind of had a loose agreement that when dad retired. We would do that. Or we might do that well retirement came and at that time, I kids were little they were I don't know maybe six seven they were still pretty young. And my dad loved being a grandfather. And really that he cared about us from running. Beautiful, and he he lived to enjoy those grandchildren, and that was a wonderful time. So we didn't write the book then and one thing just led to another. You know, how life gets in the way and then my dad got ill and not only at the same time that my dad got ill. There were lots of other things going on in in in our life. With life altering experiences. So we were dealing with the lot and not long after that. I got cancers. So we. We had a time where it really just wasn't possible to do this book. And then I had my life altering experience with my cancer diagnosis and not knowing if I was going to make it, and I thought at that time, you know, if I do I know there's a reason that on. I will come back from this. And when I did come back from it. I I just knew it I had to do this. And this had to be done. This information needs to be out the masses and people need to hear this story. And I decided then that I was the person that would be telling it, and it was happening. And that is where I was at when I met you. I just got goosebumps. When you said that. I have no idea how I was going to get there. How I was going to do this. But I really believe that if something is meant to be the universal provide everything that you need in order to accomplish that task and how it is. Absolutely. Couldn't agree with you more. I mean wholeheartedly and I talk about that quite consistently in quite regularly on radio, and again, what you put your attention on grows stronger. So when we talk about mind-over-matter or we willing ourselves back to good health, or we will ourself back to a place a positively or we will ourselves back to a place of mastery and self discipline. I believe for people who have the story that you have the miracle some people deem it to be America to go from stage four diagnosis to you being here and doing all these wonderful things. Well, that to me is like the biggest part of recovery. It's getting your mind, you know. You know, I it's recalibrating your mind and making sure that you are talking to yourself in such a way that is going to intuitively serve you. So oftentimes when people get a diagnosis, they automatically focus on death. They focus on statistics they focus on treatment. They I'm not saying that that isn't part of your reality. I mean, I've gone through this with many members of my family of cancer and for like an anomaly period of twenty years. So I understand that. But you have to make a concerted decision that you've got a fuel yourself. It's no different than fueling your body. And your dad would have known that as runner, you know, if you're eating cram, good luck finishing that crossing that finish line. It's you know, it's people focus on the body and the external, but we forget, it's it's the mind that is so incredibly powerful that really controls the vessel of everything it's the hub. It's the main hub. And you know, so when you talk about things of what you're talking about the universe showing signs. There's no coincidence. To that. If you're tapped in and you're receptive. And you're open to embracing the good stuff at the same time that you're ready and willing to simultaneously surrender the yucky stuff. So as to make room and create space for the great things to show up. That's when it's like, boom, bang, boom. Bang, boom. Bang and joy for you. It's been boom bang. Boom. Bang boom bay. Right. That is as people. There's no people think it's like as a science or you're born with a certain gene that makes you predisposed to having this kind of outlook where you know, being that signing store out there or your kids stand. Yeah. Yeah. I worked two hours a day to be lucky people. Anyway. I did want to mention because he asked me about the title. And I yes, I didn't get to that. So the title is indelible vision twenty twenty vision high vision without site twenty twenty vision without site snowfall thing about indelible. Yeah. I I'm happy with it. The thing about indelible vision. Indelible vision is really about. The ideas, the concept the things that you see in life without site. No. This is really where where the heart lies is in. Then. In this place. So even though there is no site it from the the physical sense of perceiving. What's around? You. Your is indelible vision talks about not necessarily being able to see. But being able to know that there can be vision. There can be vision in the sense of looking forward, and creating and planning and really going after what you want even though you may not be able to see your way or know how you are going to get to that final destination. To that final goal. Slow a couple of things also say to that, you know, you have to believe it to see it. Right. The ball is backwards. You have to see it to believe it. Absolutely. Not you have to fundament fundamentally inherently believe it in which to see it. That's the connection that's the correlation. The other thing is when we're talking about the census, and again, I love abstract, and I love analogies. So when we compare so we talk about the things that people can't see that have just as much if not more paramount, or that's more pivotal or more life transforming or more insightful. So when we talk about hearing listening right for people who have been social services like myself in your dad and yourself to you know, it's the unspoken word you learn so much more about what people don't say as opposed to what it is that they do. You say, so if you are a tune to reading the body language, if you are tuned to looking at the congruency between facial expression. And what the words are channel out of one's mouth and knowing. Okay. Does that resonate does? Is there is there a connection corley? She to that. That's how you pick up on congruency. That's how you pick up on five. That's how you pick up on energy and everything is energy. So when you make reference to the abstract or the unseen, but it's the unseen that goes back to you have to believe it in which to see it. I mean, I love your title. It says it all. Thank you. Thank you. Lisa. Absolutely. And what I love about your story to now that we're focusing on talking about what it is to be an author. You know, I bring a lot of notable household, you know, celebrity type people on the show, and that's all great. But I always like to focus more so not on the successes, and how many books you've written in x amount of languages at our international bestselling charts for years on end. And that's all great under. We'll get there and get there. Because my number one priority is always to Delile listeners and for people who are really trying to get a mobilized by fear and are really trying to step into their greatness. What most resonates with them? It's the guests such as yourself joy where you can talk about the struggle of concept of book to actually putting it into action and doing your research in your dad's case do setting up the interviews trying to orchestrate this based on chapters in sequencing and subtitles and title, and what you want your, you know, so you know, because it is an arduous process. It is in Arja if you're really committed to writing a good book, and it's about substance, and it's about depth in. There's a message in a purpose in a moral or all those things than this is not something you're just going to bang out overnight or entrust necessarily with a ghost writer, no fence to ghostwriters place in space for them. But I think for people who are really wanna get raw and engage with the reader potentially. This is. Something that you're reliving in your experiencing all kinds of emotions perhaps things that you have blocked out maybe because it was a coping mechanism or maybe it was because so much of life has happened to you that we forget those subtlety things that really are immersed in our subconscious. So let's talk from your perspective joy, which I know is going to be inspiring for those who are listening who also like you have been playing with the idea of writing a book, but taking it that step further, which you already have to taking actionable steps. So what would you say to people because we know it's a frustrating process. We know it's time consuming. We know you have to be self discipline, and you have to be committed. So what would you say to people who would really be looking to you for the truth about what it is to write a book? Sure, I would say that the first thing is you must make your intention known. The we know that where your intention goes energy flows. The first thing you have to do is state what you intend to do. And that is really important because that can get your momentum going and commit to doing something towards your book every day, and depending on the kind of book, it is writing, of course, is going to be on your list, but there may be other tough as well. And it is a very overwhelming and can be a daunting process. However may cliff I learned that from Lisa may. Get to own. Into that. Yes. That's right. And so these are things that have helped me to do this. And as far as the emotional aspect of it, which is a huge component. You really do have to witness your emotions. So when emotion comes up when you're writing or you're in my case, I'm reading I'm reading articles that were written. You know, when I was a child about my dad, I'm looking at pictures that I haven't seen for years. Some in fact that I've never seen. So it can be. Rocky. Journey emotional. However, it's also very cleansing. And it feeds you it does feed you, even though you may think it drains, you feeds you in a way that you come to understand what the material that you're looking at in a new way, and you are witnessing it in a way that you haven't really witnessed before and translating that then into words and images that are going to be impactful, and I found taking it step by step. I can't imagine far away. I can't I know I have goals in the future that I am going to do my darndest to meet. But right now where I'm sitting on looking at what I'm doing today. And that's. Well, let's talk about that too. Because I talk a lot about visualization unite talk about that as well in our mentoring sessions. And so yes, yes, it, you know. Yes, it support to be present. It's important to not get so far ahead of yourself that you end up doing nothing because you don't even know where to start you're so overwhelmed, however visualization is is how manifestation works. So when you can see the end product, you can see in your mind because again, you've got to believe it to see it. So as part of your own work on south, and it's part of keeping yourself motivated and on the trajectory of where it is. You say you want to go in your forecast to goal setting. You know in this case if your book you've got to see the end product you've got see yourself doing book signings. You've got to see yourself published. You've gotta see yourself marketing. It you've got to see it in the hands of others. You've gotta see the testimonials you've got to see people coming back and saying, oh my God that book. Transformed my life or you know, what I am. So glad again, no coincidence that you joy came into my life, and that you took it upon yourself and saw it as your fundamental inherent purpose to right exactly that book because that book is now propelled me the trajectory of where I know I need to go to honor my purpose in you gave new that clarity that otherwise might not have existed. You know, so you got to see a whole shebang. This is how things get knocked off your to do list. Yes. You've got to list. Otherwise, you're aimlessly going about your day. And before you know, it you've got nothing done. And certainly nothing that puts you in in alignment with what it is that you say you want to do. And because we know a lot of these things that we identified as our goals are time consuming. It's not going to be some goals. They can do be done in a day. Some it could be a week a month or year or five years or whatever the case may be, but you will shorten that process. And you will make it more painless for yourself. If you get very. Clear with your ability to visualize. See what it is you want as RV accomplished and done and then in the here, and now in the tangible space of here now reality as we know it to be you take one step one step one step, and you keep going in the same direction. That's going to inevitably have that visualization be a reality. That's how it gets done. That's how it gets done. Exactly. Exactly. And what I love about you. Join you know, and I love puns, puns, always intended to my my part. It's never nine landing already hair my favorite my dad to any upon witty. He told the most ridiculous joke, and we laughed and laughing lot. So I'm ready. I got on my face. So we really really sensually. Now, I feel like I've overworked it up, and it's going to be deflated by the. But. I have so many things about you. But one of the things I've fundamentally love the most about you, which I think is correlated in connected with your dad and how tap didn't to his energies in the writing of the book. So your energy is all about your dad is I love how you are always so committed and willing and embracing to see things with new is every single day every time you when I talk, and we have a mentoring session. I learned so much from you like sometimes I think God, I should be paying her like. Because wonderful, you know. But it's it's true. Because it's like, you know, when we talk about that childlike spirit, and you see how naturally inquisitive and curious wondrous children, are you had that spirit joy, which is why it's such a pleasure. Not only to work with you and to be alongside you in this journey. 'cause I mean, do you trust me in that's an honor and gift, I don't take any of that lightly or for granted. But you reinvigorate mice spirit just because you are just so open to loving life, and truly you do see things with new is all the time. Thanks. That's wonderful to hear that. I did not know that. And I love it. While you know, it now, I do know. And and I did I did get that from my dad primarily, and my mom, she she, of course, is the is a huge part of the pictures. Well, that you know, my wouldn't have been able to accomplish the things that he accomplished without the support of my mom behind him. And so to hear you say that is it's it's very hard warming. And it is the way that I choose to live my life on purpose with tension and really. Oh, yes. Pun intended with joy. And I love the fact that you've news joy, can you? Imagine somebody's name being joy. But they were so miserable wouldn't holiday. Yes. And we don't need anymore tragedy. We just need. No. And I really I love the you live. Yes. I do aim to live it every day. Yes. And you do. Thank you. Absolutely do. Yep. So when we talk about, you know, we talk about shows like this where we're talking about our heroes. I often time save your own hero beer, own Shiro beer, own leader beer, own best friend, and yes, it's good to, you know, gravitate towards other people with an inspiring story. But it's also fundamentally important that you hold that core belief for yourself as well. Right, particularly if you're on a journey to inspire other people you've got to be your own hero. You've gotta be your own Shiro. And clearly your dad got the lesson. You got the script on that one because he was zone hero. He was living life and loving life in spite of everything and that energy trickled down to everybody, which is now the legacy that lives on through you. And this is the book that's going to transform people's lives and people are going to see life from a brand new perspective through your eyes through your dad's is in indelible vision. What's the target date for this book? I'm hoping to have the manual. Done in March. And yeah, I don't know if that's a realistic goal. But I'm going to try meet it. Yeah. But you know, why do my artist? Well, and I'm going to be kicking you along to do that. You know me. Okay. Yes. You right. Like, I don't attach my name anything. That's not successful. Either. You our success in this book does need to be written. And and you are the only person in which to write it on. And this was a pack that you made with your dad long before. Now, it's coming to fruition. And this is just amazing your fulfiling your purpose. Right. And you're doing it on purpose and with intention with clarity with conviction. And I couldn't be more proud of you joy. I couldn't be more enamored by you couldn't be. I mean, I I'm I mean, I'm just up here. Can you hear it? Well, like, I. I just can't wait to get my hands on that book. I can't wait for you to be sitting there doing your personal inscription. People lining up all over Amazon, you know, doing some chapters Kohl's Barnes noble that whatever the case may be speaking engagements. I mean, this is a story that's got to continually be told truly because there's too many people who had vision and can't see. That is a choice. That is correct. That's rightly so. Yeah. It's this very exciting. Very exciting. And I am I'm humbled, and I am privileged to be here everyday. So I'm making the best of it going after what I feel I need to do. Well, and that's because you understand the essence of gratitude riot gratitude underscores everything in life it really bodies the meaning of life. You know, there's always something to be grateful for I love that. All right. I mean, you can tell people are just naturally grateful because every little nuance every little exchange every little win every little interaction every little whatever it means so much and you those on top of each other day in day out. And it's like, you know, what I don't care. What happens today? I don't care what goes south because I'm still always going to be grateful for what I do have. And I have so much more than so many other people. Right is correct. Exactly. You're breathing. Fear breathing you're already had the courtesy. Well, that's what I consider. I'm still alive. Here. Listen, unfortunately. Cognizant of time. So I wanna give you an opportunity to share with people before we partways here that you can't come back. You've always got a standing open invitation to come back to living throws at least McDonnell. But where can people reach you people want to know more about your story or they want to just be in your space because you're just so wonderful. How can people tonight do? Okay. So what I wanted to mention was that if there are any there are lot of people that I am working with two cre- eight the indelible vision as a reality. And I've been working on interviews reconnecting with people who knew my dad and my dad knew so many people I couldn't possibly know them all or where to find them. I found a lot of them. But I am just putting a call out there that if anyone knew my done, my turtle and has an an. Vikto tore a little story or they want to just chat with me. They can reach out to me. I'm looking for. I wanna make sure that I don't miss anybody. So if you have something to say that me, no, my Email address is J O Y L O V E. O N E at hotmail dot com. So joy, one at hotmail dot com. And I'm currently having. We we've gone over here. I've got to go. I kidding properly. Do my out trope, but we will include gate formation when we upload the podcast like they listeners. Thank you. Sponsors letting you to your lesson to lift more have awesome. To living fearlessly with your host researcher. Donald.

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Interview with the Lesbian

Pod Dirty to Me

44:27 min | 1 year ago

Interview with the Lesbian

"Toy dirty where we give you more than just the tip balls deep Jason Picking Nisha Nisha all right. XP We're beginning the New Year off right. We have a special special episode. We've got our sound. Engineer are Foxy Nisha my boo so so we're starting the new year off right. We get the Foxy Boo. We've got L. P. Kenya Guerande Aka. He's drinking his CIDER. Like a man. y'All see one day. Plenty tell you what next time report aldering Sira with you. You'll never be the same or we'll get Guinness. And we'll do black and tans wait no snake bites with the Oh yeah yes I've had plenty of those. Yeah Yeah my wife says when I touch your penis ask snake bike once he goes cider. It'd be wiser. Aw that's what they say. I guess never drink cider before you see this. I like hair on my chest. Hi Jessica Boo. You've seen my boobs while most most so we're going to begin. Begin this as we always do with our word of the day in Aleppo do the word of the day today and then we will get into our topic to surprise topic for these guys so I wonder how true this is for. A lot of people just came across this. I thought was hilarious. Okay so what are the Daya's masturbate. Master wait master. Wait Okay W. A. T. Mestre Mestre week. It is according to the definition when you're ready to masturbate but have to wait for the Beagle to buffer the center in the bathroom Atherton to watch a video gun in the nineties dialup Modem so there when we were yes this day. If I hear a modem I get an erection I just thought it was funny when I came across it and I read it if this is funny. Yeah that's pretty good one master. Wait wait wait. You don't experience that nowadays really fast Internet. Have you heard of Gigabit. No I've Dave well you could do. I find it fucking sucks and then you have to turn it off yet. I I have to actually turn the Wifi off and go to my special place. Catch yourself a place my Phone or whatever to distance tickets to fucking load. Here's a question. Where do you find good lesbian porn? Nowhere really really yet to find any that I like like is it like porn hub like I'll browse multiple websites but I haven't found any that's hits the spot per se. You keep going back to or hub to bait you porn porn. Please never heard of that one. Yea Sexy Indian. Your dot. Sexy is a good one. Yeah I like that one a lot of different videos. What does that page of Google one on my google? I use it when I want a cog Lido. I still don't do that. That incognito incognito nobody else uses my computer's gator but when you come over I delete my history. I if in the porn page on. No but I've done that plenty of times. There's been times where I've looked is two times where I've looked at porn on my computer on my phone and I didn't think anything about it and then I got into my wife's chiefs car and my Wifi connected to her hurt my bluetooth all mine I know and then like popped up on her screen like I care what it says says some like Angelina Jolie nude scene or something like that. And she's like what is that and I was like. Oh I don't watch porn. What is absurd? You know what I'm saying so I gotta had going okay so I live like I told you so. He lifts something you open up your screen TV. So I was coming home at it connected to the Apple. TV We on it. When I walked into the room sunny here start hearing the you know the scenes? I don't know what you're saying. Well her her hormone free thirty nine you. It was more like you know the fuck scenes you know. Yeah Yeah and and I was like Oh fuck everyone was home. Oh my God scrambling I believe I did on my and my wife is sitting there looking like and I'm like who fuck I'm in trouble. Does your wife Watch porn. We Watch porn together. You do Wife's never seen porn true. Though you can ask her. She's never watch porn but she telling the truth. We'll ask her. When we're done but issue telling the truth I should? I should call her. I just feel like that's that's weird. I don't think she's ever seen it. She says she's never watched it before. Anyway we'll ask her and then we'll we'll we'll he calling so she will but I've had that happen. That's probably the most embarrassing one. But I've had it were. I'd have the you you know your phone browser and opening up his AAC Bru- oh my goodness niches at ever have any well. WE'LL HAVE A. Have you ever had your phone. Connect to something or no. I did at one time because I always use private browsing on my phone. Don't even on the only person that touches my phone but there was one time I picked it up to show somebody something. I always get out of private browsing anytime. I'm I'm done with that and I go back to the normal for some reasons. One time I didn't and then I pick my phone up to show somebody other than open the browser right in front of my shit she. It wasn't too long ago. Maybe like six months ago there was story. What am I my best friend He's he's being banned or whatever and they would do like travelling trips and they went to they they got back from a trip and they're all at this one dudes house or whatever and some do they wanted to go eat something or something. The guy jumped on the guy's computer or one guy got jumped on this guy computer. He's almost is a place to eat and he popped it open and it was open when he opened it up it. It was at a website called new shower cams and it was male nude shower camps and it was all just a camera that they didn't even show faces it was like shoulder to knees of just guys like showering in this league publicized and they were in the guy was like out of the closet or anything like that he just whistling whistling my God he was after that but the Sean was like yeah. We opened his computer in the like. All these new dude. What the Hell Anyway? Anyway let's get back to our topic. Today we special topic because we have a special friend our topic today lesbian sex questions. You've had behaved afraid to ask you just now look this up no. I've always had these questions. I think this this is your rich. Your your hotel. You already know not reliable adult. That's why this is going to be fun. All right question well from my experience question number one. What counts as sex? Am I right right. That's the question I'm serious. Anything you know no sex. What the fuck is lesbian? SEX ORAL SEX IS IS HISTORY DRY humping fingering banging with a strap on all of the above six start at the same way as a normal X. This is perfect. Look what did he buy normal sacks stuck victory six six. I should preface this because you don't really know me preface this by saying I've never slept with the guy I ever seen a penis for that matter. No you don't get heavy now. We never been sick like never been completely naked Ingram. I would remember that. Yeah Okay and I pause no no no no no. It's it's hard to me. What these kind of things I just felt like I should preface and I will I will pre face probably try it isn't I don't feel like any of your questions are dumb but I might make dumb comments questions to be a lot of bog litter leaving? I answer a lot of questions like any question. You'll have. I will try to answer it from my understood okay. So so you're familiar. That's fine so like we interpreted like male and female. The announced starting tantray she heterosexual sexual discolored all regular email night lesbian anymore. Vodka is the same that you you guys school have straight for the like dude drive right in or do you just. I don't know I. There's a lot of foreplay involved but again I've never never been with a guy so I don't know how guys go at it honestly. Well here's a quick like this is because Mike One of our coast. That's currently on hiatus. As he's he's looking for eight on the Himalayas like he doesn't kiss her oral sex. Or whatever Robert Vito you a you remember but like him that's four play but to you guys it's you you Ladies Act. Yeah it's sex. Yeah so so like there's different standards righteous. I guess for different people right and I feel like there's a lot more just like filling the overall body and like or more more sensuality. Exactly like this just like exploring the whole body as a whole you don't Like depending on your mood. You could tease a lot more. You don't necessarily have to go straight for whatever so yeah that's interesting. You say that. That's just what I like to do. Yeah but it also depends on your mood. If you're just like really fucking horning are both gone out of their if a girl was really fucking Horny like what is in endow we're make what is straightforward Scher school straightforward. Going down. But again there is. I feel like there's a little bit elite up like what got you to that point. So there's that I'm sure there's a little interesting kissing some grindings and then you just fucking throw. coz often go to go to town. But if it's a slower if it's a slower slower thing you just kinda both in the mood. Solely slowly do all the things on the CISCO SEES Some Common Sutra Lesbian addition. I think I think that's got it made though man girls Lesbians or just women in general. Why does he does have the power? I hate to say like that with the way you can make man or woman pretty much do in better just in general and again it in general think about it what what do women have them in line in. What do women there into other other women want when they want? But that's just assuming that everything is about sex everything about say. It doesn't have to be about six it. It can be buck companionship. This could be beloved. Could be anybody anything. I've known some very sneakers I think about it more than just. Yeah because if you think about it. There's a lonely a guy out there and he just wants to be be. Oh even given a little love looking for something Hugo out there will spend their money on either by should even know if the girls not interested in this. You're so think about okay question two and this is for any other lesbians here that want to answer. How is using a Dildo with a female partner? Different than fucking dude they did it. You're sorely flummoxed and that's quite a case weekends nobody hears handed guidebook at birth Earth acutely explaining the sexual prowess of lesbian sex. Nobody gets at book so well. I've never had sex with the do as a million uh-huh if you're fucking a girl with a strap why not just use the real thing of Pucca Dude. It's about time I set the record straight and by me I mean Nisha why not just woke up Dude Nisha because it's attached to a dude food. I mean I agree with you. I don't that's the most part there's a lot of body hair involved this shaven Mend shape different than women. No boobs if you could get boob implants might make a difference. Would you say it's the overall composition of the body. So you're saying possibly I've never had a dude on top of me like that so Possibly although okay so true story I and I I've like I've only ever really shaken a guy's hand. I've never really touched a guy into I've brothers but we hug but it's always on clothes and shaken hands so never really felt a guy's skin in in a different way so oh maybe a month ago spice bars I got drunk and I was hanging out with one of my friends up in the Dallas area and he moisturizes so much and I forgot about that I felt like let me let me touch touch your arm and I was like feeling all up down. His arms took holy crap. You're soft stuff yelling just rubbing down if do through this soft I duNno. I think men are just a lot bigger and I'm not into that so me personally. I'm into girls girls. That are here that I'm a small person but I need them to be around my general size Men are just naturally bigger in ticker in Harrier and and and and I don't now so I got a counter to that K.. So I can understand that. It's it's a generalization generalization because I see this a lot. Yeah so I get that. 'cause I see some women with some fine. What the fuck all right? But what happens when you see the butch looking looks. I don't know I mean I don't know if you need to. You know we come back next time we can ask and answer but I don't understand it Muslim. Just get a man cause bitch man. You're got into butch. You're into like really girlie. Girlie girlie yeah and you're not which person like I mean you know dress and dresses or anything. You're not like a masculine. Nobody but you know what I'm talking about like like they. Basically sleet are dating semi. That's like a duty short hair like again now. I get it because it's still not a guy you're attracted to I mean Fairmont's whatever like I dunno science of it all but fair Just body shapes in general some some girls are just attracted to more masculine guy girls. But it's they're not guys they're still attracted to the like there are other sexualities that are you're in to junk even talk about most of them but there are other sexualities for their. There's like random sexuality for people that aren't attracted Sex but to the person in general so then you might fine fine girls that are attracted to like feminine guys or but she girls at the same time like that that that Moore what people would consider the middle ground the Feminine Feminine guys were the Bucci Girls. That's what they're attracted to is like this middle or really masculine dudes foods or really masculine girls. That maybe that's their star. I Dunno like buddy any masculinity of that type of but it's still a woman yet it was the main factors that this person still woman and they are attracted to women and it doesn't matter what spectrum there on as far as masculine feminine. It's still a woman and that is the main thing I get it but I don't I mean I I was just talking to My another friend in Austin earlier mm-hmm and how I think androgynous. Women are so insanely sexy like they're gorgeous people. They're more masculine they dress. It's really nice and they usually typically not always have really short hair. Sometimes you can't tell just by animate there guys girls. They're not Super Bucci like butch. Butch is different regarded. Rose Yarrow sales by Becker. Alright yeah yeah she's also do BRACCO hot super super hot all. You don't want to be in relationship. Never see myself doing like being anywhere close to them physically super high so I can. I understand you stand absolutely hell. Girls would want to be with her. Just not my right question three powders. The lack of Literal Physical Connection Aka a dick inside of Jonah impact. The emotional connection and zero. Is that a solid answer moving on to come question so we're just getting skin. I have never missed it at all. Yeah I was is it so it doesn't feel like fingers can do a lot more they ban the twist you can go. You can start slow. Go a little more. You can go a little bit more and I feel like a piece of systems but how you the foot but how do you know as I feel like intuit. Its just a penis Najan all right. What exactly is sizzling? It's when two girls are in like with each other in lake with each another thing. That's on the video ones aside diagram but I'm not sure it was accurate and they get naked. They get naked. Oh man this is a great story and they won. One spreads their legs and I- laying on the bed ish the other spreads her legs and she's not laying on the bed touch hutch in private together. That scissor pleasurable though or is it just seems like it would feel like it would hurt. Yeah rub the skins no no no no because the that whole areas pretty sensitive so you rub it against each other and interest to me. I like it. I've known a lot of people that either one. They are a lot of lesbians. Say she said that. I feel like they haven't tried it because there's all lesbian zone actually do that and I don't feel like they've actually done it before because I think it feels really good. It doesn't I will say in like the the videos that I've seen it doesn't look like I don't know if this is just. They're doing like an exaggerated version of it but the way they're like overdoing feel like they're really even touching each other and I'm like to me when I think of sizzling I think of like like you are touching you really have just like never losing contact and just rubbing it yea right position in the right position is hard to in my experience. The right position is hard to get into a 'cause it is awkward but If you can get in that position it feels awesome so fuck porn porn for that like. It's not it's not accurate. Here's a less sexual question are their gender roles. Do does one partner conform to to a stereotypically female role and the other to the mail. One or is it just dependent on the relationship. I feel like it's depend on the relationship. I've always been been in a very mutual relationship so I don't know I don't know about other I mean I I've only known you really one relationship and neither one of you guys It's pretty even Indian or I will say the other person was definitely more dominant personality personality. Yeah but I don't know like that's kind of the stereotypical male in a straight relationship is Yeah but in in when you're talking I'm not sex. It's very much a give and take thing both parties typically get off. I'll put it that way so when you're when you're having Aena the sex with in the oral and and both parties typically it off multiple times. I'll put it gets to the WHO. Oh I when you have sex depends on. Would it continue. Well it depends on and his interview. I sure you WANNA recently. I feel like The older again. I used to think that mood. The mood. Talk was bullshit. But it's you debt you have to be in the mood. I feel like or at least for me if I'm not in the mood. It's really hard to get off. Niang go through the motions and it still feels good but not gonNa Work Azam necessarily Mehan Kuopio related alike. But you don't get off never happens us yet. It may just be me but I feel like that that might be a woman thing privy pretty gnarly woman thing. I might be wrong but the question. Seven is your partner more intuitive to so how to get you to orgasm giving you had the same part or do or do her own preferences get in the way a good question. Do you understand Atlantic question because I feel like I was steady considering I've only had sex with women and I've gotten off multiple like many many many times with every single woman I've been with and I feel like they're very intuitive. Joe Do you feel like you know had a good woman. They're better than a guy. Because you have the same part like do you do to do women what you do to yourself or what you I would like to have done to you. I guess I think I think yes. I agree with her. Yeah you figure you know where to start. You have a good basis say Rega- I'm gay and you found a do you like nine years. I knew order if I like this. He's probably GonNa like this. Yeah I would I would see that. Yeah definitely feel like you have a good basis to start with And but I mean she may very well like different things but she's yeah but the the the basis to I say. Yeah Yeah you know where to go. Ah I mean it's kind of hard not to find. I think we I don't know for your answer this while we were recording or if we were just talking before we started. Do you enjoy lesbian porn. Yes no yes because I look for it initially because it it it is girl on girl is what turns me on understandably but I feel like the ninety percent of what you find is just bullshit so it's hard to find something that actually will give me off. Do you have a preference. Yeah I was GONNA say. Do you like rough porn. D Like soft. It is very it. Depends on how I go. I'm not going to go into that right now but it it depends on my mood all search for a guy to you. Say Yeah I mean yeah it it definitely depends. Oh Oh yeah I mean. I've watched plenty straight porn too. Because if I if I'm just if I can't find anything I'll always start with lesbian porn but chances are magma. It'll it'll get me hyped up. I guess you're starting to see a chick hot enough in a straight porn. Where her getting railed by a dude with a big Dick doesn't bother bother you or you can still get off or turn you on a gross or would you know not oh gross? Like that. Doesn't that doesn't bother me. Would you prefer like a guy in two girls because then you got the two girls working and then sometimes sometimes I watch Gotcha. I do not enjoy threes important at all. I don't I don't know there's just too much going on and I think because porn so stylized or stylus but it's amazing as he was going to I think in like in amateur porn is better because it's more realistic whereas like you watch normal pouring in. It's like the dude. It is banging her and then the chick is sitting on the face like again like so. I mean I would say that drives me crazy. That's stylized Vegas should but I mean you could bring one with other the ones doing this to all three. I've never done it but I do like Amateur Porn because it seems bonus day one thousand see earlier episode with Aleppo Aleppo Hookers Awesome Bucks Bucks my limit and I expect everything Oh won't be how will be held one story though here's a question I've always wondered about you boo boo wedding. He's asked me well. I don't know it's it because I have saved for the PODCAST for nine years. Do Lesbians Wear sexy lingerie or is there more of a feeling of amateur chick we both know what we want. Just get sweats and relax. Says Gets Watson relaxed honestly. Honestly I find sweats ways sexier then lingerie. She likes chicks and hockey uniforms. Turn on for her. She loves hockey hockey watching chicks for any uniform for any any any uniform. I Love Roller Derby. I like Not Be Mealy Chaki uniforms or great. Oh my God I can watch female fucking while hockey beat-up typically volleyball really flat chested though but year Guida Ada laundry for Bali is the. Oh the where they do superbowl Sunday or whatever the laundry football league Monday. I have not seen it. I've seen clips of it but I've never watched it said amazing or so. Do you ever bust out like some sexy lingerie or anything. I've never imagine you can't imagine me senior an address in one picture and you look miserable. It was horrible fails in draft this. I've got a question. John Lewis race question so like if you're getting ready to like get off for master yourself. Do you like get yourself like ready or whatever you ending this go go. Whatever I'm into all take us with? This is what she does what I did. I just goes to town. Yeah fuck it. That's what I do. Whatever good office typically when I'm going to bed or when I'm waking up in the morning and it's just whatever sleep in which is anywhere from assure Churton and PJ pants to make it? Depending on where I am and what I am when I go to you know was was curious to see. Get up. Yeah I don't I don't do any prep I just pull it out. I'm like okay. It's time for this and pull it out and start watching it and Bo. What I'm wearing is what you see like those stupid videos or people that like get addressed the candles already? I should do. I start putting candles all around around. You put some music some light the candles Eh. Just on Katie. Gee I don't think that much about it. I just in the mood I just fucking later and go for so. This is a question for all of us. When you're watching porn trying to get yourself off? Do you tend to go through video after video after video. It's our go by of just like watching videos and God damn. I just wasted an hour of my life. I've been sitting here for fucking the Master Damon and I'm still like I got a real good thing. I've nothing going on right now. Oh my God yeah I always feel like an idiot when Ab- now like I could have just masturbated to the first video we're gonNA sleep. I spent an hour looking at eighteen eighteen different asses bouncing up and down. The problem is I can't just I can't just get off with the first video and it usually takes me that long to find something that finally he is searching you. Click on and you're and you're like Nah yeah pulling any fast forward and it's a twenty minute video and you only watch like two seconds of talk. This shit semester talked about point in my entire life. You're welcome all right. We're almost done. What do you ladies do about Long Fingernails During fingering Aka any straight women's worst nightmare straight women's personally daylight guys with long tails? Oh two cases usually long nails minor kinda SCRA- lake no minor shore because of their short. But I bite them so they're kind of pointing like I've actually never had had that experience Soldano. Everyone I've been with as had short view now short. Yeah and then I probably had the shortest of them all because I chew him so much. I try to just clip everything off so chill all right and the grand finale question dis. What does Jesus not just can't what does Jesus think about gay women? He's probably up there with. I will be surrounded by the the rest of the gays and it'll be a fucking party. I'll be there 'cause we're a better life partners in the club. What's what's your number one decision maker and trying to tell a woman as gay or not if they hit on me because I'm not approaching them and shot adduced better at that? No I've gotten better with better. Yeah with low. I'm you approached a woman I never so. He's not gotten better that in play. I'm better that if someone starts talking to me. I'm not just going to climb up and get nervous. Are you good at picking up signals now now now now how about you have the worst gate are out of any gate book. And you tell you can't tell if somebody's into your body to make an icon like you go to a bar now and you'll be at a bar or you'll be with your friends and you'll look over in their some girl on the sports for all of us. There's a girl looking at you and you're like making the eye contact and you're like I think the sticks enemy like you can't tell l. that you're not good at picking up on that at all what about you I think so. I think I got a pretty good intuitive Buddy but then again. I've been wrong before what what happened in that situation. Did you approach her after that. Yeah and she goes dolls looking at your island does she really says yes and a and I was like well. He's not so here's my fucking savage page as you'd have to be mean about it all right so I'm but I'm pretty good because I had had a chick pull numbers skirt on me the other day. Oh yes what happened she came she was eighty. Remember me I was like yeah. I'm pretty good with faces in on I I can remember you and I can remember conversation. We've had even been maybe years or days or whatever She is senator talking to me. She pulls up in her car. CEOS uh-huh has an eight-year House. Grit you know. Just a general And she's in there and she's wearing this short skirt Aim trying to talk to you. Know terror ever face. Yell is trying to be respectful. Then she kinda you know they moved the leg do the crossing and you know the gravity pull China. They pulled a skirt up. Something homeboy you. When you're trying to when I goes slips down yeah skips up in both is down then she catches? You're looking at you. Try Dr Bags often many but I was kind of you. Pick it up the saints. 'cause she was like what are you doing for New Year's you know stuff like that and this was at work at wherever IRV you were. It was somewhere somewhere with somewhere all right. Let's get story was it. Was it twin peaks. No I think part of my head but a little things that have been asked to dinner and stuff like that. I mean I guess. That's the obviously ask dollars on my bed. I haven't been asked dance forever. I've got an old and I think humor I think humour gets you starting to get get you very far. So you're saying that funny you say that to. Why don't I ever get hit on your married? It's it's that that ring on the level. I find that I find that to be noticing. No that's not to be real. That's a radar because I think you hit on even more. Ah I've had at least two or three straight friends of mine. That are women like they if they go to a bar and they just WanNa fuck they'll find try to find a guy that with the ring so the because they know that they there won't be any attachment or there's no ties really at least two or three when this in so in my experience recently when I'm out and about and I'm I'm I'm trying my hardest to figure out for girls gear not typically ninety nine percent of the time. She has a ring on her left finger because I think she thought so obviously she straight so she has a ring on her left finger. And so I'm like okay. Fine whatever. That's a turnoff for me. I'm like done moving on but I mean from multiple reasons one. She's taken to she stray. So it's different. If you're a straight woman I guess not streaming. What if she's she's gained married married still? That is a unlike done not gonNa Really. Yeah I just don't even it's funny because like it's like a magnet. I swear on your so weird like vision. I I just don't understand but I'm serious serious because you know like I think it would entrees right. There's no attachment. You're not gonNA look for that person again. You're getting that person. Looks freaking I you want a piece of it and then you. You're going to get the peace in today and you put it in the back of the closet. I mean that makes sense I would okay okay. So if a girl had a ring on and she approached me I would not say no but I would not approach a girl with the ring on. Here's a question. I have for Nisha Ocean. Do you have any friends of yours. That are married that if they would be like if they tried. If you know this is a yes of one married friend that I have a pretty big crush on very attractive. I've seen picture. Oh Yes yes can we do and I do. I do attempt to flirt with him every once in a while. But it's she she flirts. I feel like she flirts shoes. He's a big plays a big fancy when he has visit this first hand. Is this person of stray or yeah. She's married Mary to do for the age I mean he's a good looking guy but They've they I think they started dating the and I think they may be broke up and then they started. I don't know they've been they've been seeing each other consistently for a handful years. Got Married question so I think gave him and feel more secure with the woman like sending. Gene sorry I didn't like more secure. Like for instance like like a normal heterosexual Hetero. We'll have to worry about being raped or something like that. Oh you when like just like women with friends friendly's yeah I guess and then maybe picking up on them you don't if you don't they're not worried about the okay if this drug is he gonNa try to take it from your show Mike. Oh you feel more comfortable around women that they're not gonna hit on you if if they get drunk and bandaging okay. You know. It's not as bad versus a guy like overpower you possibly. Yeah I mean I. I've never really felt like I had to worry about that But I've also been I feel like I've also been buried lucky in my life forever whereas never had those kinds of issues that most women have the majority of women have as far as sexual assault and all that stuff. I've never really experienced that because I've always been really good friends with a lot of guys in if they ever pulled that show with me. It's usually on a friend level and I'm just like we can have this back and forth joking wise or I'll tell him to fuck off do it again and they usually take seriously nine years. I've never done that now. Our our ship has at a different level. Nobody like you said but I yeah I know what you get what you pay is is. I think there's a little bit more security thirty. They were secure safe. Okay this'll be just as hit me. Okay it's a woman. Okay back off to extremes. There's there's way less chance of this night ending extremely horribly. Yeah absolutely yeah. I think that's probably true. All right all right. I guess that's a good place to leave it. Everybody that's a long episodes but I think that's a good one. We got the Nishi in the house need follow on Instagram pod dirty to me or at pondered Ross on twitter. We don't really put much on twitter. Just kind of put up says up their facebook dirty to me. If you have anything you'd like us to cover we haven't done this. Have anything you'd like us to cover. Shoot a e mail and email and email at podcast. The at gmail.com with that. I'm Jason in a

Nisha Nisha partner Mike One L. P. Kenya Guerande Jason Google twitter Jessica Boo cog Lido W. A. T. Mestre Mestre hockey Aleppo aldering Sira Daya Atherton
What To Do When Things Aren't Working Out | Timely Spiritual Advice

My Seven Chakras

12:44 min | 2 years ago

What To Do When Things Aren't Working Out | Timely Spiritual Advice

"The Senate chaplain swirling for energy incision throughout the base of spine, to the crown of worth thousands of ancient wisdom as. Mestre to cycle. What are the functions of these energy centers, and cook, these chucked help you unlock your destiny and find your purpose? Welcome to my Senate charts. And now your host a. Didia. Gye kumar. Wasn't action, bribe this age here host and founder of my seven Jucker as the show where we provide you ancient wisdom inspiring stories and action steps that will help you transform your life. So if you are new to our show, than I want to give you a warm warm welcome and assure you, you have arrived and the right spot in factory. I've got a special something for you. Special message for you so without further ado, let us begin. I have a message for you today action, vibe, something that will instill a sense of hope a reminder of the mission that lies for you ahead. But you must trust and believe in this fully to expedience troop our of this message and sometimes it might be difficult to accept, but the truth is where you are right now is exactly where you need to be in your life, just balls on this tart for a few moments because it is hairy, you've gone through a lot in your life so far been through many challenges and difficulties experienced some sadness and cliff some regret and helplessness you faced so many obstacles that you've lost count. But you had to go through on of this to become who you are. Today and to arrive at where you are right now. It couldn't have been any other way. But if you've listened to the signs, close ni then you would know that you are not alone. You never were alone on his journey that have been helpers and guides and spirits that have been by your side, all along beings that have been chosen and nominated to guide you and teach you in this lifetime. Some of them that have been with you all your life by your side, hoping that you would notice the signs waiting for you to realize the synchronicity and making sure that opportunities gum your way. These beings are your ancestors, ascended masters shamans, healers. And sometimes other were. Worldly beings. But every one of them is year to support you and provide you the split you'll support that you will need on this journey of life. And even though you might feel like it's too late like your Gordon opportunity has passed like your too old. Maybe you feel like you're too young or out of shape or unhealthy are maybe, unskilled, or untrained. Or maybe you feel like you don't live in the right city, or don't have the right circumstances. Maybe you feel like you're not in the right country, and that your opportunities are limited or taken. It does not matter. Things can and will change in a matter of moments. Your circumstance can change in the blink of an eye in an instant this is an energetic word that is constantly. Changing and shipping and mooing and nothing is rigid or impossible change is possible. But for that to happen something within you needs to change as well. You need to change the way. You think the way you feel the way you react? And you need to slowly. But surely raise your web rations because once you do your spirit guides will pick up on this. And will send more your way to speed up your transformation. If everything around us is energy than e higher Weybridge Wibran allows for easier transmission of spiritual messages and communications. You action taker inherently a high wave 'rational being for some reason, or to, to some event or due to some experience. You have lost touch with your wife ration-, but remember, it is not too late. In fact, this is the perfect time to take one step towards the brand new multi dimensional year, but it has to begin with you. The initial step must be taken by you over the years and to messages, and emails and reviews. I've learned that I am acting as a conduit for transmitting, the messages that you need to know you could call this divine timing because it's happened so often now that action tribe is saying that they receive just the right nudges just the right messages, just the right signs at the right time. It. Is Noko incidence that you're listening to the shore right now? There are thousands of other shows that you could have possibly listened to many of them have larger studios etter equipment, and literally hundreds of people working with them. But for some reason, you chose to spend your quality time to listen to me on this show, and I believe that it is because you were born to be part of action tribe. You and me. We have a spiritual karmic connection that time Lewis and precious. And when you heard my voice for the first time it immediately brought back, a distant memory, a sense of familiarity, because it is true as tribe before, I record any of my preserves ITN into spirit and my guides and let them guide me. I do not into. Our global consciousness on action, tribe, and chewing into each and every one of you psychically this allows me to be a conduit for passing on the right messages to the right people at the right time. I don't know how this works, but it does spitted has asked me to tell you that the time has come for you to play a larger role in your life. The time has come to rise above your circumstances. It's time to play bigger in life. Let yourself be guided by the faint strings of your spirit team. It's time to look at your challenges and your circumstance in a different light, not as a permanent road block. But life lessons that will make you stronger and wiser and more resilient than it's time to surrender. Because surrender doesn't mean giving up it just means letting off the angst and the stress and the rigidity it you've collected in your shoulders in your body in your energy in anticipation of that one thing it's dime. Action try to let go and relax, your body because from a spiritual standpoint, surrendering is the most powerful thing that you can do right now because as soon as you let go, you will feel much more better, you will feel lighter, you will feel much more assured and relaxed. And this is exactly the state that you need to be in to receive all the goodness. All the abundance that is coming toward you. By surrendering. You're letting the universe. No. It your in alignment with the season -ality of the universe, and that you trust that everything is going to be alright. Once you surrender, then you need to allow for people for things for experiences and synchronicity is and ideas and thoughts and positive emotions to just flood into your life and pride. You all the abundance prosperity greatness, that is destined for you in this lifetime. Because I know that you're really close to it action tribe, but you never really find out until you take the steps that I've told you today and the final step for you action trial is to welcome your spirit guides because they'd been with you all along. But it's now time to let them know that you are all years and that you're ready for the help at all. All levels. So certain silence and made it Dacian and call onto them when you are in difficulty, and unease goal on them and ask them for a message on a sign when you're working on your Chuck Ren's, asked them to help you clear. Balance your energy centers for greater alignment, and clarity when you're writing on your journal Austin to send back messages and ideas from beyond the wheel before going to sleep asked them to come in your dreams in ward of Afam. They choose as where were they choose and give you the next steps that you will need on his magnificent multi dimensional near any ahead. So they will actually try hope you enjoy today's session, if you're going through a difficult and challenging phase and life and you'd like to discover, what might be holding you back energetically than our love to support you amp setting aside sometime this week for a few thirty minute one on one chart clarity calls during this free call you will get an opportunity to openly share your challenges difficulties and obstacles, we will you and me will define your vision and dreams will uncover what exactly is hauling your back energetically. We will analyze your checkered test results and your current jocular life cycle phase based on your birth date. And I will provide you a roadmap of transformation, that would provide you the clarity that you need in terms of what you can focus on next. And what steps you can take net will help you get aligned with your magnet. Isn't destiny. The link you need is my seven jerkers dot com forward slash energy training, mice seven is word. My seven Chuck dot com. Forward slash energy training, wash the video, click the green button, and will connect if you like to support our moment and help us create more episodes than we have a donate button girl. My seven chocolate dot com. Former slice support it's my seven jerkers dot com forward slash support. And if you're on Instagram, then just take a screen shot of yourself. Why listening to this episode tag me at my seven Chaka's that at my seven chocolate, so that we can connect, and I will share story with all our other followers on Instagram. Once again, I hope you enjoy today's session. I really enjoy connecting with you this way. And until next, I'm keep taking action.

Senate Gye kumar founder Mestre a. Didia Chaka Weybridge Wibran ITN Gordon spitted Lewis Austin Afam thirty minute
GSMC Technology Podcast Episode 109: FB Messenger, Drones, & Super Mario Bros

GSMC Technology Podcast

33:19 min | 2 years ago

GSMC Technology Podcast Episode 109: FB Messenger, Drones, & Super Mario Bros

"Hi, it's Jamie, progressive's number one number two employee. Leave a message at the hey, Jamie. It's me, Jamie. This is your daily pep talk. I know it's been rough going ever since people found out about your Capella group mad harmony, but you will bounce back. I mean, you're the guy always helping people find coverage options with the name your price tool. It should be you giving me the pep talk. Now get out there, hit that high note, and take mad harmony all the way to nationals this year. Sorry, it's pitchy. Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Golden State media concepts technology podcast covers gave everything. Ted this mobile phones, tablets games. We review it brave. It tested, whether you're Microsoft or apple Android, or iphone will give it to you. Want get walk the Golden State media concepts technology podcast? Other everybody. This is Jay for the technology SMC podcast brought to you by the GS MC podcast network. So we've got some more really cool tech news for you. So let's just dive right in so. Facebook Mr. something that I didn't use it. I kinda resisted I didn't like we're go. K no you have to you know, at your text message and Mr. become wine. I I didn't like the whole thing. I thought it was a whole pain in the butt. But eventually it turned out that you know, you could choose not to do this and still have Mestre and ever since then I haven't really had any really big problems with messenger. Well, I guess supposedly some people have been I mean, I haven't really noticed any problems with it. I can't say had any issues with it. I haven't. But I guess there must have been a bunch because. Facebook has redesigned their messenger. And it says if if it succeeds, you won't really know that even happen to which I'm not gonna lie. I sure as heck didn't. So if they did redesign it I didn't catch it. They definitely fooled me. They tricked me. I didn't see it coming mile away. So I guess like they let's see here. So what does it say? Yeah. The changes are really men are will there's fewer tabs. There's a color gradient thread background and a rounder logo. And I guess I bring the old design massive overhaul. They wasn't option. They wanted to do. So they it says it took a lot of time from the tested out and made sure they're not doing something that'll prevent people are doing things. So yeah, I guess like so starting a couple of days ago. Excuse me a messenger globally rolled out under understated redesigned globally. But I guess over the next few weeks it's going to start going out to more and more places. It says it's got a simpler interface with a lot more white space a lot less, redundancy and a casual vibe. Now, of course, it also lets people know that the old features are all still available. I guess they're just not as prominent as they were before. So one of the new features as I said before there are several Cutty color gradients, you can use to customize specific chat threads. Okay. And if you rapidly the scroll through the messages, you'll see a bubble ab-, you'll see the bubble background colors will fade through this gradient. And one much question feature that is still on the way is dark mode which Facebook says will launch the next several weeks to reduce glare and make nighttime usage easier on the eyes which I actually do get that in the morning when I grabbed my cellphone in that light, you know, blasting is at kind of hurts because I'm just like, well, I just woke up in darkness. So I'm kind of looking forward to that feature. I think that's a very good feature. And maybe my phone has one is don't know again, I'm not entirely tech savvy. But and finally it'll have a new softer logo the sharp edges have been rounded off the quote bubble and lightning in Sydney a-, and it seems designed to better compete with Snapchat and remind users that messenger is fun and friendly as well as fast. So I agree. I, you know, it's pretty simple to use. Once you get the hang of it. It's kinda. I guess a good way talk to people on face where you don't have to get their numbers or things like that. So it can be in personal can be personal. It's a good way to get in contact people. Maybe haven't seen in a long time. See how they're doing. Maybe start socially socialization. And it's a good way to talk to people like, you know, that again like you may not know that well outside of Facebook. Maybe it can open the door for that to change. Right. So. Yeah. Like, I had no I I just I'm going to circle around back to I haven't really had any problems with it in a long time in probably a couple of years. I just haven't you know, I haven't had like, you know, thought man the like the logo looks to Shahr looks to sharp. And I just that hasn't crossed my mind. The gradients aren't aren't, you know, wonderful. I hasn't really crossed my mind either. I like these things that they're doing with it. I'm like, okay. I can see why they're doing them. And you know, maybe it's too late. You know, please all the users which it does say there's like one point three billion people use it. So maybe there are other people a good chunk of those people have had big problems with Mr. lately, maybe that's why they went. Okay. Okay. We hear your concerns, and we'll take care of them because Facebook, I will say this. They're really good with that. They want to like make sure hey, you know, they stay user friendly. They say simple. They stay fund. They stay, you know, this great thing. And if they don't listen to concerns of their users, you know, I guess that could be a bad thing. So he when I heard this when I was like, oh, okay. I I don't really understand why they're doing that. But I'm guessing there's some reason not going to do it just because you know, what we're bored. We have nothing to do. So you know, we should do. We should just you know, redesign Facebook messenger. We should add like, you know. New tweaks and twists and turns to it and make you know new. I mean, I I just I don't see Facebook engineers thinking that I think if they're going to do some of this. There's going to be a good reason to do it. And. Yeah, and it sounds like, you know, it's not something. I like everything hasn't rolled out now everywhere. Because again like I said in a previous episode space. Facebook is a very big company. They just are. They're very very big. They're not a small abo company Nuno. So they reach a lot of people around the world, and it it'd be great. If they hate us. You know, today everybody gets everything immediately. But that's not the way it works. Sadly, so. See us. They're doing this. And I guess they're trying to make it easier on the is a little bit simpler for some people to use. I'm not sure what age groups of its younger people are older people. They're making that four. But I am looking forward to the dark moan because. Yeah, is it is not fun. When you're like us wake up from from sleep or a nap or something and you look at your phone like your eyes, go at least, my is going to be going at. Why is it so bright all of a sudden what happened went into hic that hurt? You know, it definitely like, you know, makes you a wakes up. That's like it's like what white you know, this baby important woke me up from sleep in. Then you realize okay. So yeah, it's a dark mutterings. It'd be great for the is. Absolutely. Yeah. Because for me, it's not easier on the eyes on not not so much and. Yeah. Like, I'm kinda wanna see where I don't necessarily like chant change either. But if it's not noticeable changes like, whoa. Why did they change everything? Then I'm okay with it. The last time I really had a problem with any Facebook's updates was because I kind of liked how the older Facebook was like five ten years ago again giving my age and they came out with a new update. And just eventually like, hey, no what everybody gets the update. You don't want the update too bad. You get the update, you know, and everything got changed. And I was like, well, I knew how everything used to work now, I don't know anything works. So I don't like that where you can tell. Hey, things have changed things are different. This is not you know, the way I did things even a few days or a week ago. So what the heck, but yeah, I guess that if it's not noticeable. I can't really complain about it much. I can't really Mon. Hey, why to change this or that? Or why did you do this that if I don't recognize it, and I tell I read this? I wouldn't I. If I hadn't read this put that way, if I had not read this article, I would not have known that. Oh, they're doing something new with messenger. I just wouldn't have known, you know. So it definitely opened my eyes to okay, that's happening. Interesting. I do use that. And I'm sure like I said a lot of people do so. Yeah, this is something that started now in the next couple of weeks, keep your eyes open. There may be a few changes here and there, but like this article says they do their job, right? You're not going to notice you're not going to like a big. I like this. Why is that going you're so that's I think interestingly enough it could way to do things, you know, where it's not going to be a shock to the system. It's going to be like, okay, that's a little different. But that's okay. Because I can still do what I wanna do. Right. It big. If I had a video game system tonight. Okay. We're going to change it in every single way of the word. But I don't want it to change every single way the word. So that's listen. Now gigantic before it's so, yeah, this is coming up keep an eye out for this. And yeah, it's just gonna make it, you know, they just want to make it more user friendly, and simpler and Facebook bring that dark mode because yeah, I'm looking forward to that. So we're gonna take ourselves a short that they'll break, and we back with more tech news in a moment. Hi, it's Jamie, progressive's number one number two employee. Leave a message at the hey, Jamie. It's me, Jamie. This is your daily pep talk. I know it's been rough going ever since people found out about your Capella group mad harmony, but you will bounce back. I mean, you're the guy always helping people find coverage options with the name your price tool. It should be you giving me the pep talk. Now get out there, hit that high note, and take mad harmony all the way to nationals this year. Sorry, it's pitchy. Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law after all the chaos and division and Trump's Washington. We can take a stand and vote for change that change starts with defeating Republican day. Brad Brad has an a rating from the NRA and after parkland said armed guards and more guns in schools was the answer. It's time for change democrat Abigail span burgers supports background checks, and stricter assault weapons law. This tuesday. Exercise your power votes span burger for congress paid for by Brady pack, not authorized by any candidate or candidate committee. You want to be healthier? You just don't know. What to do all these shows telling you this and that, but nothing seems to work will listen close. Golden State media gossips has got something. Great for you. Vill health and wellness podcast dedicated to work out for healthy eating habits. Diane everything about healthy living. Join us in our benchers as we help you not just live life to the fullest livid Tuesday, healthiest. Everybody. This is Jay back for some more technology news. So this next article really intrigued me it was pretty when the first ours. When I'm like, oh, that's very interesting. And there's actually a little video saw that really explained. What it was saying? Because I'll admit I was like, okay. It does this cool. I don't understand that. I saw it. My. Okay. That's all do it. Does it? Okay. I totally understand better now. So drones drones or something that, you know, are kind of like, you know, become a bit more commonplace. They're not at the level of ready player. One the movie not the book, they're not at that level. But I don't I wouldn't just call them a simple little toy. I don't know. If you could say, there's probably smaller ones that kids could have maybe. But I don't know if I would personally call them just like a little toy. I think they kind of are starting to maybe come up with some other impact, you know, applications for them. I think is what's happening. So you know, they're trying to find. As hack we help them have them do this or do that, you know, like maybe make other peoples jobs easier and just like the applications for them. So there's a company that found an application for one. And it's really interesting because especially because it doesn't look like your average drone. It's not like, hey, fly up one hundred two hundred three hundred feet in the air and take video stuff. No. No. No. So. Yeah. Like there. So it says this starts would like, you know, it's a it's a tiny drone that can pull forty times its own weight, which is an, you know, an interesting thing in itself because most drones just can't do that they can't lift more than I think like the video said like maybe five or ten times its weight, maybe around that number. So this can already do a lot more than other drones. So this one permits says, you know, they wanna find a way for drones to start. You know, get pretty good at hauling stuff around. Right. And of course, it says usually for most drones it's hard to do that way up in the air. So. These drones don't go up in the air. These drones brace themselves against the ground to get the requisite torque needed to lift something or a hall something away. Right. So this dry. These drones were created by engineers at Stanford and Switzerland's EP L, andbranch, inspired them by wasps, and spiders that need to drug prey from place to place, but they can't actually lift it. So they'll drag it instead, they say grip feet and like strong threads or jaws let these little drones. Pull objects many times their weight along the ground, just as you might slide a dresser along rather than pick it up and put it down again. Yeah. Which makes perfect sense. Because usually dressers are heaviest heck, you know, and not easy to do that. So yeah, it's almost like putting on like, a Dolly or something. So so they came up with these called flight crow tugs a combination of flying, Mike. Oh and tug presumably and they act like ordinary tiny drones while they're in the air. But you know, they're able to move freely about and land wherever they need to. But they'll have three critical components that most drones don't have an anchor to attach to objects a winch to pull on that anchor and sticky vit to provide shirk grip while doing so the idea is that one or several these one hundred gram drones could attach their anchors to something. They need to move be a liver or a piece of trash then they take off and land nearby spilling out the threat as they do. So once they're back on terra firma the activate their winches point the object along the ground or up over obstacles that would have been impossible to navigate with tiny wheels or feet, so using this technique, assuming they can get a grip on whatever surface. They land on like I said the drones capable of moving objects forty times their weight so for a one hundred gram drone like that. At it could be brought about four kilograms or nearly nine pounds. Not a whole lot of weight. But it's not a bad start. It really isn't. But you know, that may not always be an assessing. So like what if a handful these things flu around the house when you're gone picking a bits of trash removing mail into piles? They would have hours to do it. So this is an edge. You got to watch a little video this not to see one of these things in action. So what they showed it doing was attached onto like, you know, go landing on a table. Lou Lou like almost like claws like into the felt on the table. And they had like little like, you know, I go hook type thing was attached to an object. And there was literally string just like, you know, attached to the back of it. And it did it just pulled the object with the claw on the string up to where you know to the drone itself. And it is it's not really big. It's a small little like drone. It's not your average like, you know, bigger expensive drones. It's not it's a little itty bitty drone, you know. And. Heck when I saw it. I was like that this thing. Just looks weird. It looks weird. It looks cheap. It looks range. I don't even see why I would want to buy this thing. But seeing it an action. You're like, okay. I'm a bit more convinced. This is kind of cool. What it can do? It doesn't have to look pretty or, you know, or, you know, fancy or anything like that. But it definitely does what they say. It's going to do, you know, it's kind of a new thing for drums because like I said, I don't think many drones. I don't believe any drums for this probably had this capability. Right. And it's definitely an interesting intriguing story when it comes to drones themselves. I think it's hard to say if they're going to because like if you haven't seen the ready player one movie, they show drones around a lot more they show or drones can actually deliver pizza to people like we're talking like full big Pizza Hut pizzas. You know, we see them like in one scene leg drop, these bombs on this building, you know. So they can be used like, you know. For nefarious purposes. And for practical purposes in this movie, they show that and Steven Spielberg said he wanted to do that. Because he does see that, you know, at drones could be, you know, a big thing in the future. And who knows maybe he's right? Like, maybe like, you know, one day, we you could be in an operating room, and you know, instead of having nurses, it'd be drones handing you the different. You know, tools you need it. Right. The different things you need for surgery. So there could be implicate applications for it there. But right now, I think it's mostly just a cool novelty like, but I may be wrong because again, I'm not a drone aficionado. I'm not I'm not someone who owns a drone. I don't know maybe boohoo owned drones. And I personally haven't you know, used drones much. So I don't know a lot about them. But something like this. I think it's kind of a cool new feature for them. It'd be like, you know, if you eventually had them have little legs, and they could just kind of like, you know, and they showed like they showed like how like, you know, the wasp looked. How lake you know, they kinda like took ideas from that insect. You know, and it's one of those insects that can live there more their weight is not like or drag their weight. It's not like an aunt who can lift a, you know, however, much they can. But so yeah, it was it was a short little videos one like one or two minutes long. But it was pretty informative. I was like after the videos like all right? That was kind of cool. You got his here. One of the guys one of the researchers who talked about who talked about like, you know, the little like the and they showed it in action. And yeah, it was definitely like, okay. This is kind of cooler than I thought it was gonna be the video definitely helped. So whoever decided to add the video. Bravo, bravo. I say Casiraghi I wasn't that interested before I saw the video. But I saw that thing in action. I was like all right. That's kind of cool. I'm not saying I'm gonna go buy it. And you know, and yeah, you know, put onto the Christmas tree. But that's pretty cool. But it was clear that like, you know, they we're just showing, hey, you know, this is some some things we know it can do for now. And it's probably they're still gonna play work on other things and find. Tuning it. So you know is a better product. And I don't know if it's going to go out to the general public if it's going to be just for people who, you know, they even showed where could help open doors to them, which is really kind of cool. So they show some cool new ideas they have that drones could do. And I think that it's kind of an interesting concept is an interesting idea that, hey, Anna, let's have drones do more than just fly around and take video. And you know, just do that. Like, let's like add new, you know, new modes to the mix. So. Yeah, it's definitely interesting. It's definitely a curious, and you know, like a number of things on here. If I hear about cool more cool drone things going on different. Be sure to bring it to future episodes. That's for sure because it's. It's simply something that is slowly getting bigger. And I think that something like that stuff. Like, this could make more people interested in getting them. So. Yeah. Absolutely. Should take another break, and we'll be back in a few moments with more tech news. It's Jamie, progressive's employee of the month to month in a row. Leave a message at the. Hi, Jamie, Jamie. Idea for our song about the name your price tool. So when it's like tell us what you want to pay. Hey trombone goes, blah, blah, blah. And you say we'll be fine carbo jopstone to fit your budget. Then we just all do finger snaps while choir goes, savings coming at ya. Savings coming. Yes. No. Maybe. Anyway, see you practice tonight. I got new lyrics for the rap break. Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Tired of searching, the vast jungle of podcasts. Nell, listen close. And here this out. There's a podcast network that covers just about everything that you've been searching, the Golden State media concepts podcast network is here nothing less than cast bliss with endless hours of podcast covered. Sports music fashion. Looking enter tape a fantasy football so much more. So stop lurking around and go straight out to the Golden State media concepts podcast network, guaranteed to fill that podcast. Whatever it may be visit WWW dot GS. I'm podcast dot com. Follow us on Facebook Twitter and download us on itunes soundcloud and Google play. Everybody. This is Jay back for some more. Really cool technology news few. So again, this is the part of the show where we bring out some really cool video game news. And this is one that I have not played all the games in this series. But I've played most of them and it had an interesting history. So in the days of the Nintendo DS. Yeah. It was permanent days than intended ES, which was a hand held that. I don't know if it did as it was extremely popular at the time. It wasn't really like how the three D S and the two S now Nintendo side, you know, what let's do. A revamped version of the Super Mario brothers game. Right. Because the original brothers game, you know, came out. Oh, God want us in eighty three eighty four eighty five. And you know, it spawned a lot of Super Mario games sense. Then it has. And so they end to bring on a new game they called it just new Super Mario brothers. And you know, it added lake, you know, new challenges. New MOS and just kind of like a revamped version of the game. And it turns out probably to their surprise. It did really well fans really really enjoyed this game. They really had a lot of fun playing it. They were really excited about it. And I heard it was a really really good game. So naturally when that happens, you know intendo side, you know, what we should do. We should do a console version. And this is not the first time intendo did this. And I'm sure it won't be the last time they do this. So this let's do a console version of this game. And the first one was called new Super Mario brothers for the we miss my brothers. We I think is what it was called. And I actually got a chance to play this game. And man it was a really challenge game. Those a lot of fun though. It was actually a total of four players could play. And you see you had like Mario Luigi and two toads. You went through all these different levels. All these different. Boss, battles, always your friend dungeons, you know, and it really like notice turn the series on its head in ways that it hadn't been turned in a while. Now, I didn't get to play this game through a fully. I just didn't get to. I wasn't you know that lucky, but it got at least get a feel went man. This is a really fun Mario game. Because I for me playing the original Mario it was kind of challenging pain. The butt game owes a fun game. But it was kind of a pain in the butt. And Mario to was the same way to you. Then three was the game. That really really a lot of fun. I g beat it was years later when I beat it. But I did beat it. So anyway, so they did this game. It did really really. Well, they did a hand held. I want to see a few years later called newspaper brothers to that. I did get to play. And I did finally be an again, another really fun game had some cool new power ups. Like, I think they had the white not suit. They had the gold flower that could turn things to coin. So there were some really. Cool new power ups there. There was some really challenging boss battles. You know? It was just a really really fun game. It it really was I would highly recommend it. And so then I wanted to say, and I and from wrong, this may have been around the time that they said, hey, let's do news brothers for the wheel. And unlike newsroom brothers for the we the we you one was when the console came out that was the one of the first games, and they had for a while this game came with the console and this is a game. I did get to play where I did go all the way through all the levels. All the is. I got all the star coins as difficult as that was went through some really really challenging levels. But I had so much fun playing this game. No, I did not get to play new super Luigi brothers, which is just another mode with more levels. And frankly after I'd beat a levels on newsra. Mario brothers for the wheels. You know what I'm good for now. But it was a very very fun game. So that being said they have decided to come out next year, which I want to say, it's in January. They're doing another. Mario brothers game. Yes. And. This is going to be called new super. Mario brothers you deluxe. So it's going to be in a nutshell. It's going to be a course two games in one. It's going to have new Super Mario brothers and new super Luigi brothers. They're both going to be in there. Both of you versions. They're going to have new playable characters or for younger and less experienced players. Of course, there's going to be a wealth of new bonus content. Like there's going to be like a hints gallery, and they say helpful reference videos. Which is really really cool. I think I'm really excited for that. See here. Yeah. There's gonna be a total of one hundred sixty four forming courses in two main game modes there's going to be replay ability. There's new game modes like challenges a boost rush and coin battle. There are a variety of playable characters in this. So it's not just, you know, Mario Luigi and the two toads I believe is that you the first game where towed debt comes in. And they showed an video and this brought on a whole bows that thing, but we won't get into that. Where? You could like you get like a crown turn to- debt into Princess, peach, which is really cool. And when that happened, you know, she had like in the previous game, she could float a little bit, which is really cool. So Toda it's going to have that in this. And the Nabet who is normally only played with new super Luigi broS you and they'll offer the characters you know, extra assistance during game play. There's going to be a multiplayer sessions. Of course, you know. And they have you can jump at teammates heads or try to have one throat you to try to get to certain places. Yeah. I guess that there's going to be hints gallery reference videos in the super guide, you know, they complete levels for you. If you're they're giving you too much trouble. So there's going to be that. And. Yeah. So it's gonna be like just this really big game. It's gonna be the next game in the series. And you know, I'm looking forward to because I've played the previous. Mario broS games. Okay. I have and I really enjoyed them. I'm like, I it just wasn't because sometimes some Nintendo games. Get like just they get caught into being too, easy and new Super Mario brothers for the we you and Super Mario brothers two are not those kinds of games. No. There are games that guess what you're gonna die a lot. Sometimes you're gonna like, you know, have a hard time getting through some levels. You're going to have a hard time trying to collect all the star coins. You know, you're to it's you're going to have difficulty doing these things. It's not going to just come easy. They hadn't newsroom brothers to where like you. If you got like a certain suit, you could like go through the level, and you weren't going to really necessarily get hurt. And it was nice. And it didn't kick into the Scott killed like five or ten times. So it's something they maybe they'll have something like that in this game, which I think is a good idea. Because like I said sometimes he's some of these levels some of these boss battles some of these dungeons. They're not easy. I remember dungeons and brothers to where you have permits fire coming direction sit like one little spot. You're like, geez. You're going to die a lot in this area. So you know, is like it'll be nice to have that for players like in who may not be as experience and those who may get frustrated easily and. I'm calling for the tickets. I might want to you. Try new new the new super Luigi broS one. Because like I said I didn't try it in the past. And it was a deal see on the we use. So it coming with this not deal. See, I think is great. I think it's a great idea. So this game is able to have up to four players, you know, at one time, and it isn't a come to the intendo. Switch January eleventh two thousand nineteen. So it's going to be here and number of months, you know, not how they recommend you getting it. If you have played the games in the past be worth it. If you haven't played the games in the past then that is absolutely worth it. So yeah, I think this is going to be a really fun game. I'm excited for it. And it is for everyone. You know, it's rated e for everyone. So all ages can play you know, from young to old. So that's all the news. We have for you for this episode. I hope you had a lot of fun as much fun as I did, you know, telling them to you and have yourself a wonderful risk today. And we'll be back real soon. With more tech news. News. After all the chaos and division and Trump's Washington. We can take a stand and vote for change that change starts with defeating Republican day. Brad Brad has an a rating from the NRA and after parkland said armed guards and more guns in schools was the answer. It's time for change democrat Abigail span burgers supports background checks, and stricter assault weapons law. This Tuesday, exercise your power volt span Barker for congress paid for by Brady pack, not authorized by any candidate or candidate committee. This tuesday. Let's vote to stop the division and chaos and Trump's Washington we can start by defeating Republican congressman Scott Taylor who votes with Trump ninety eight percent of the time voted to repeal ObamaCare six times and gets an a from the NRA for voting to make it easier for guns to flood our streets. Taylor needs to go. This tuesday. Exercise your power vote for democrat, Elaine Luria, congress paid for by Brady pack, not authorized by any candidate or candidate. Committee.

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3 Simple Ways To Balance Your Root Chakra And Feel More Grounded, Secure And Supported!

My Seven Chakras

16:29 min | 2 years ago

3 Simple Ways To Balance Your Root Chakra And Feel More Grounded, Secure And Supported!

"The Senate Chuck swirling, for energy concision throughout the base of the spine to the crown of worth thousands of ancient wisdom as. Mestre to sleep. What are the functions of these energy centers, and cook, these chucked help you unlock your destiny and find your purpose? Welcome to my center chart and now your host. Dea. Gye. Kumar. What about you drive this eighty year host and founder of my seven chuckles, the show where we always bring you Incheon wisdom action, steps and inspiring stories will transform your life. So if you are new to our show, than I wanna give you a warm warm, welcome and know that you are in the right spot. Today's episode is scarred three steps to balance your Haroo Chakra and feel more secure more grounded and more support it, and through what I share in this episode. I'm gonna help you do exactly that. So let me ask you a question. Do you sometimes feel like you don't really belong in your current community or your workplace? Maybe you're someone who keeps moving from place to place. Longing for that sense of belonging and creating to be part of a group or a community that will really welcome you. But. You've not quite experienced that just yet maybe you don't experience that level of connection and belonging at your workplace that you desire, you experience feelings of worry or fear about your safety or security on a subconscious level. A level of restlessness within that you quote, explain chances are action drive that your root, Chakra might be a bit underactive are imbalanced, and on today's episode of jugglers, I'm going to show you three effective steps that you can take to heal your root Chakra to feel more secure to feel more grounded and support are you ready now before that? Let's I understand a little bit about the root Chakra and how this particular energy center influences firstly. If you're new to this topic you can consider the chuckers as energetic organs, that connectors on an individual level, to the universe around us. The chocolate. Govern and regulate the flow of energy and information do and from the environment around us. The root Chakra is located at the bottom of your spine and the editor that it, governs is the lower hip and the groin area. So imagine a funnel or a waters of energy with a broader part of the funnel facing outward. So when everything is functioning fine, you experience a sense of connection belonging at your home, right in your community, or even in your workplace. There's a sense of calm and assurance about everything that you do sense of grounding, and a sense of who rudeness, if you will know when your root Chakra is under active or blocked. You expedience a sense of disconnection, and this state might make you feel a bit restless and anxious about life in general. And if you don't do something about it, it might take toll on your energy levels, your daily energy levels, and you might feel a sense of tightness, exhaustion stress. Or even on depression, because on the soul level, you really to be accepted, and loved unconditionally design make sense. You see your root Chakra develops over the first seven years of your life, after you're on the emotions, the tarts feelings, or any trauma, you experienced during these formative years can really impact your root, Chakra, annual life overall, for example, as a baby, if you didn't receive the physical, touch, and the hugs that you deserve. It might have affected your Chakra if there was any domestic violence or verbal abuse in the family where you spent the first seven years of your life, there's a chance that your route checker again was affected if you experienced something that made you feel unloved on uncared for it might have affected your route Jukka, but don't worry. It's not too late because there's definitely something you can do if like many things you can do. That will help you heal your route check around so the question then becomes what can you do about the situation? Right. What are some steps that we can take today that will help you balance your root, Chakra and make you feel better. So let's get into it. Step. Number one is to take a moment to think about your relationship with your mother. How is your relationship with her right now? If she's not alive than how was your relationship with her in the last five to seven years of our life? Are you not on talking terms? Are you a bit distant? These days. Maybe you had a disagreement a few months back or years back because of its you, your relationship is a bit sour. Now did she knowingly are unknowingly hurt you in some way? And are you still holding that energetic resentment in your body? It doesn't matter who's wrong or right, here your mother gave birth. You and your relationship with her. Please a huge role in the hilt of your route Jukka, which is a symbol of your physical existence on planet earth. Right. And the health of your route checker governs, how secure how grounded how rooted how connected you feel in your community and honored, so give us some taught even if your relationship with your mom is, is not bad, but could use some work. What I'm about to suggest you is going to be really useful. So the step, I recommend is to heal and mend your relationship with your mother, or at least take the first step towards a more nourishing and loving relationship. I know that this might seem really hard to do and not really comfortable for you. But if you want to balance your root Chakra, then you need to go a little past your comfortable, you can have a fist his meeting with her, or maybe give it a call any if you feel uncomfortable having this. Fist meeting. Or if you feel like you're not have the right words, we meet her because of all the emotions, anyone expedience then you can send her where I call a love letter. That's right. A love letter. The goal of this letter is to send appreciation, love kindness and forgiveness her way, you're free to write as much on as little as you want. It really depends on you. And this is your chance to write your heart out. And if there were any instances or moments when your mother hurt you feel free to write those down as well. I recommend not printing this out, but writing it out by hand that's going to be much more effective, in leading out your root Chakra, energetic, blocks, right and patterns. They're not serving you out of your body Nanu will help you. Experience that alignment that you really deserve. So write this letter and send it to your mother, or just handed over to her in. Person with a nice box of chocolates. That was step number one, which is connect with your mom or even better. Write her a love letter number to get a root Chakra, pocket crystal crystals. Our very definite Mollica structure. And because our body is composed of over sixty percent of water. Crystals are able to influence your thoughts your emotions and your energy. There are certain crystals that are good for certain chuckers and for the root Chakra. I really love the black of Syrian and the smoky quartz, although I prefer the latter the swaggie courts, if you're lucky, and you live close to a crystal shop, then just visit that place and get one or if you're far away than you always have EBay or Oetzi, but get yourself a root Chakra, crystal, I love the ones that aren't too small, or even to large love the ones that fit in my pocket. I call them pocket crystals or pocket stones and. Depending on what Jukka Cousteau you choose, for yourself, either a black obsidian or a smoky courts. And there are others as well. And you can have a look online in terms of the list of storms that you can choose among, but keep this crystal in your pocket or close to you all throughout the day for at least three to four days. Right. You'll feel the difference while you are going about your day or having conversations or doing your work, right? The crystal will work on your energy and will bring you into alignment over a matter of hours, or even this, you'll begin to feel much more rooted, more grounded more calm more assured and much more aligned. Alright so the third step that I have for you today and you're gonna really love this one, which is Dake a barefoot walk in nature. Yes, you heard that, right. When was the last time that you walked barefoot on fresh soil or sand, or even grass? Didn't it? Feel good. Well, there's a scientific reason why it's so relaxing and calming walk on the earth Baffert, and it has to do with the phenomena called earthling alter today, because of our daily activities and interactions. And habits develop these free radicals and our body, these free radicals are one of the reasons for inflammation, and other issues in the body. And there's a lot of research that suggests this the earth because of it's overall negative charge is able to attract these free radicals into its bosom and away from your body and you'll nor does the shift as soon as you step for on the sand or soil or grass barefoot. It is powerful and think about it used to do this intuitively as a as a child, right? And your mom would say where shoes don't go barefoot. We're now. You know, it's, it's good for your body, and especially here in the northern. Sphere. We have summer, right? So it's not cold outside. There's no snow riot. It's pleasant. So if you are lucky enough to live close to a beach by all means go there, spend a couple of hours or even a whole day with your friends, and family and step out for other humans aren't really used to wearing these sneakers and shoes or them at a spiritual level where really craving for the frequencies, and the energy of the earth and going for that ten minute, walk that fifteen minute, walk barefoot. It provides you just the energy and frequency that your body needs the barefoot, walk action tribe will really help you balance your root, Chakra, allowing you to feel much more balanced assured relaxed and calm. John's are that you might have heard this before. But remember knowing something, very different from doing yourself and experiencing, the difference, or maybe have done it. But it's been. A few months or even years from the last time you walked barefoot on the ground. So consider this, a lovely reminder for me to you. So in summary action here are might three recommendations for you to balance your route Jerker because here's the thing. The root Chakra is the most important in my opinion, Chuck GRA for your oral health and balance. It's you root issue foundations and you need to take care of your foundations. Your connection to mother earth in the beauty is that it's not difficult super simple. Number one. Right. That love letter to your mother, the one who brought you into the earth to Expedia for seven years of your life ram number to get a root Chakra, crystal either a black obsidian or a smoky quartz, make sure you don't get one that is too, huge one that fits in the palm of your hand is perfect so that you can keep it with you on through today for at least three to four days. All right. Number. Three is go on that ten to fifteen minute walk barefoot on sand soil aggress. So they should try. These are wiz that I would recommend take it up as a challenge tryout might three recommendations. And let me know how it goes for you. You can Email me or message me or DM you on Instagram and tell me how you felt after doing these steps. If you're on Instagram take a big of you while doing this Dag missile, I can share this with our community on Instagram and on Facebook. I love cheering you on holding space for you and holding you accountable, then I got your back. All right. My handle is at my seven chocolates. That's at my seven checkers, and balancing your root Chakra is just one of the techniques that we go over in our six-week JARA immersion program called chocolate sprint, and so far, we've had so many people and members go to this experience and see big shifts in their life. If you'd like to discover, what might be holding you back energetically, and what you can do to Bill. Some momentum in your life in your career. Whether it's something new that you want to begin a new chapter of your life, then I would love to support you. I'm setting aside I am for a few thirty miniature clarity calls this week to discuss your challenges to clearly define your vision to hold space for you to really express yourself. Right. And come up with a series of next steps based on your current life cycle stage. That's right, depending on your age, you might be in a certain Chakra life cycle, and based on that it is wise, to focus, your energy and intention on certain tasks, and a wide certain tasks, and we can discuss all of this and more on this thirty minute. Chuck rot clarity call if you'd like to claim one of these spots, and speak with me personally, then visit my seven chuckles dot com forward slash energy training. It's my seven chocolate dot com forward slash energy training to watch the video. Oh, the training radio and then follow the steps, and then Boca call with me and I should drive if you like the new format of a show and would like to show us, some support, and please donate to our moment. We've recently set up a paradigm nation page. So choose your favorite number and send us some love because it makes such a huge difference. The link UNITA's mice jerkers dot com forward slash support. My seven chocolate has dot com. Faller slice support and finally are left ear from you, if you have any feedback and he starts the experiences, if you're share your story with me. If you're one of the action drivers has been listening to our show from the very beginning in your lives changed as a result of listening to our podcast. I would love to connect with you. My Email is AJ at my seven chuckles dot com. Agent at my seven jokers dot com, semi emails. I will read it, and I will reply to you. It might take a couple of weeks because we get a lot of inbound emails, but I will make it a point to get back to you because. You're the reason why we do. These episodes action tribe, is the pulse and life blood of our moment knowledge. Why hope you enjoyed today's session. 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S03E01: What are the international students up to?

The Inner Dialogue

16:16 min | 1 year ago

S03E01: What are the international students up to?

"No one would come do another episode of the United Auto. I know it's been quite a while since I posted anything and that is because of many reasons is dog because I was like. Oh I think it's time to break create something for season. Three tried to switch things up. See what I can improve and then come back to you all with some better conduct and then the band advocate. I mean I guess it was like slowly creeping in but we just showed is that it had crept in enough to take action about it so I had to readjust my life. I was still not gone to work. Certain late start working from home which I know. I'm lucky I can walk from but for that like I had no. We woke at home. Because I m essentially living in someone else's house and I didn't really have a setup manager head me a lot would that he is amazing and I. It's been really supportive company in this situation so I think like Kudos to them definitely indefinitely very grateful that I can just sit at home and work so I have not been in a good space mentally just because like it's just me alone underscore and Tina. I'm not close to any of my friends or family members and it was kind of hard but I think now I'm at appointment. I'm like back from it and I think I'm getting normalized to the idea of just like living like this honestly like I don't think it has stopped bad. Initially it was a shock. But now I'm like okay. Yeah I can get used to it so for season three. What I want to do is create more positive content. Create more Khandan. That is I wanted to see more rural just like me directly about talking about things like what I think like right at the level and obviously that's like a lot of the reason why the three of US started the sport. Gus So what I want to do from now on is not dockworker. No not doug about something that's already everywhere in your feet and your news and on the radio on the TV. I wanted to avoid talking bud. The band AMAC nod. Because I don't think it's a serious situation. I just want people to hear something. That is not very topical negative and they can just sort of give you an escape for a few minutes so that is what season. Three's going to be bad. All Non Kounellis content. I swear to dig one episode. Just you talk about where I am in the situation and dark bud a subset of people that I think are not being talked about largest because the international students are definitely a very small subset. But I think it's kind of scary. What's happening right now? To all of us are just students but like everyone in the world and it would be have full to hear from the decision maker. Said they know what we exist. I just wanted to say tags to all the people working on the front line right now like I cannot believe that loves like the whole human race. We have managed to sit at home and let device like blades game and die down and for the people who have forget up every morning and go out and actually sort of like jump in to this whole band dynamic. I just wanted to say thank you because I know it's Gary or your family members who are worried about you. I want you to know that we all away to bite you and we all early thank you. I don't think any of us off to this would come out unharmed but I would like to say that wants this little. Please please take a dime. Do Relax and he Lesotho. 'cause I know what's happening on. There is not easy to digest. And whatever you're doing I swansea thank you for saving lives. Oh Jeez so since. I'm just sitting at home. Just like being a non with myself. I think I can only talk from my experiences on mytalk process and a lot of it. What's happening right now? Is the fact that I'm being affected because I for like I'm an international student? I don't think I know people know that I exist. I just don't think I am concerned too many of the decision makers because like me. The international student population in every country evader understand. But at the same time I think someone out there really needs to understand that we are kind of hanging in the middle of nowhere. I just want to explain the different situations that many international students are in. And I'm hoping that someone can relate someone can understand and you know. I don't know maybe just have sympathy for us. 'cause it's kind of. It's kind of scary. So the broadly speaking to groups of international students right now few of those who who able to go back to their home country and go back to their families and stay with them and then the other few who are still staying in I guess. Abroad like not home-country or in the country where study so for the people who've gone home. I think they have some concerns which are very valid and the first is that. Do this whole flattening. The Gov and everything playing it is possible that one country we foster then some other country and some of my friends are not generally concerned. Nada de back in their home countries. The I don't know when they'll be locked to get out of it and they come in. Do they universities? Don't and I think that is definitely scary. Just because like let's say Canada recovers within the next four months and India Exceed Monster. What happens will universities where you bought the students who are stocked back in that country because it's possible. Candidacy is keen. Who have the countries that have not recovered? No one's allowed to come out from there I'll come into our country which makes sense And I think the students who are sitting at home right now for them. It's like what if their visa gets expired when they get new new it. What if the you know moves on the I guess like opens up the university and they're not able to reach what would happen so I wasn't the many concerns there And then for people who have stayed in the country of university. I think it's super scary. Because first of all and many students don't really own enough to even qualify for some of the funding that the government's providing secondly most students are living either the living alone or they're living with some other families who still don't really know that having good friends and when you're living alone I knew going dean like I don't think officials to anyone. Living alone quarantined Gandhi cadeau mental health. I'm not saying that living with your family. CanNot I can see being logged off with. Their family can also definitely have many stressful effect. I'll tell you living with people you don't really know any just living like a guest. They could bring us I think that is also kind of I don't know scary or like trust and just abuse. I fall when all of this started. I did not know I was went to be kicked out of a what would happen. They get it if I get it like. How are we supposed to deal with it? Just because it's not like we're family and it's not like there's any law saving my ass. Housing gone get good dot or saying again mobile if I think five men fear of my health and then the other issue is that said decide to go on like leave my residents who is going to end their apartment to me at this time when things skating the scaredy for everyone Yeah if you're living with fans I think that is one of the best situations you can be in right now. You have someone do support you mentally someone do have and that is pretty cool but I think one thing that is definitely affecting all international students and like all students. Right now This financial situation just because just to give it up plenty. Every student right now scared about graduating scared about the classes scared about the financial situation. And yes they should be like. I think none of us know what's going to happen but I'm pretty. I have faith in the system that all of us will I guess. Come out from the other side. Hopefully somehow I know that might not be true. And I'm just being overly optimistic but that's the best I can do right now so that I can stay sane but international students paid three times. Fees Ellison candidate fees that Local students visa for example. My friends being eased. Keep your oppose. Mestre. I'm being twenty forty and my Jewish and fees has been paid by my savings for the boss to three semesters and now. I'm scared that I wouldn't be able to save up enough for my next one just because I don't think I'm getting any more endurance ships often this lake. The Indian market is going to go down the bottom. It's going to go down so I don't think I'd be able to save enough for my next semester's tuition fees and data that will be awesome muster and genuinely scared about that because I don't want to live so close to graduating. I don't know what's going to happen at that as vase gay. Yep so that's gay. And then there are many students who only nick who who obeying work part-time whatever money they Gordon there on that. How the survived for that month and now You gone like now. You're unable to do so and you still don't qualify for the funding that the government providing to people who've lost their jobs just because your job wasn't really a fulltime job and you didn't own enough to qualify for those fundings. So Dad is definitely something that I think the government's aware of it. I don't think they've they've reached solution for it and many of my friends who don't have their next month rent and the bent so some offence and wouldn't including weapons actually do not know how to do online banking. My bands generally do not know how to log into their account and send money and the age always go to the branch to do it. I do not feel comfortable asking my dad who was in a critical each crew for this virus to step out and go and send new money. I don't know if he can. I don't know if you can nod like asking him to go risk his life just to send Me Money. Find a fields by like. I'd rather just go on the streets and back. I know that sounds the sounds like very little but I know for a fact that my dad fits right into the criteria of the people who are getting severely affected by this wires so I think there are many things that we discussed yet especially when it comes to international students and I'm hopeful that these discussions went come up eventually. I just hope the death sooner than NATO anyway So that's all ahead to speak about. Just like given exposure to what international students are going through and everything Bam now before I leave. I just wanted to leave your with the list of things to do to keep yourself sane in this Abu and the spending and honestly I need this is something I found so relaxing so cathartic is watching tech talks and I think one thing I definitely like about talk is the fact that the show you reduce related to who you are like. They'll eventually pick up on like okay. So you like these videos on the show you more of that and I think that is very interesting because now like every it's like evolving medic doc feed and it's very interesting to see that because I think I started with only like Queer talk and now I've moved like doctors and nurses and Indian people talk about the culture and that and that is very fascinating. I'm getting exposed to all these different things which is amazing. Second thing on my list to keep myself sane is creating talks. I personally haven't nick. I'm camera shy so I haven't really made a diktat but I would recommend that you really practice addict. Talk Down and create a dictator. Just try to make something small using your creativity. It doesn't really have to be occupied. Write a poem or you could. I could write a song but I would highly recommend that you do something creative. The third one kind of combined into this but I would say read or write a consume media. And I think the reason I'm thinking you media comes with an asterix but it's a lot of the Internet and the TV or the doing is just talking about the band. Amac which is good. Which is what we need but as an individual that can affect a mental health law just to keep getting those masters so I highly as your to go on nine. What something that is not related to the band DEMOC? What something that makes you laugh? What something that makes you feel fuzzy. And what something that makes you feel more human. Because at this point we need to know that we're not alone in this baton and everyone else around us also has the same feelings us And I'll tell you WANNA add. Is that all of us. Not especially now more than ever should make an attempt to call friends and family especially if you know if someone's living alone give them a call to ask them how they're doing and you know tried to talk about something beyond the spintronic Yes we have another one on. My List is exercising. And I tell you one thing that people That exercising sort of just moved back from. It is imagine exercising to be this hard core walk. It doesn't have to be that can be climbing the stairs of house. Two three damn so it can be you just dancing to a song. Exercising is not something which requires you to sweat. It's something that requires you to move and the last thing on my list but it does not the least in any way possible is dig this time tank people on the front line and I'm not only saying this for them. I'm also seeing this for you. When you see how much other people are trying to keep all of us alive. It gives you hope. It gives me hope that we are not alone. We have the bright minds to help us with this and the best we can do st at home and wash your hand so I really hope wherever you are in whatever situation you have someone to talk to your digging. Gareth of your washing your hands and you will hear from me next week with some non corona voice content but if you do want a scientific resource for Corona wires content. I highly highly recommend the PODCAST FORCES. Dilan stacy by.

United Auto US Tina Lesotho Gus doug Gov Gary Gandhi Gareth Mestre Ellison Canada nick NATO India Gordon four months
Should I Live at Home Until I Pay Off All My Debt? (Hour 1)

The Dave Ramsey Show

40:42 min | 5 months ago

Should I Live at Home Until I Pay Off All My Debt? (Hour 1)

"Live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studios. It's the dave ramsey show. Bad is dumb. Cash is king in eight off. Home mortgage has taken the place of the bmw as the status symbol of choice. I'm dave ramsey. Your host rachel cruze ramsey personality and bestselling author is my co host today. We'll be answering your questions. Open phones at triple eight eight to five five two two five. That's triple eight. Eight to five five two two five chris in baltimore. Hey chris welcome to the dave ramsey. Show dave This is amazing for me. I actually grew up listening to your show. My parents turns our life years. But i'm really appreciative. Well i'm honored. How can we help today sir. so i'm twenty two. I graduated college on sunday. What's your degree in economics. Congratulations thank you I am lucky enough to have No debt from school and I have a job. lockdown is have three months. Expenses saved And my fiance is in school to be consistent currently and because of her program in cursing debt. So i'm trying to weigh Saving for retirement. Start much of this saving to be ready to hit that debt hard once. We get married. Chris when you guys get married Talking being so she graduates over year. Way okay well for you i would. I would definitely be focusing on your retirement right now because praying everything. I'm sure you sound very responsible very in love. So i'm sure this weddings going to happen. But what i would do is still Take advantage of the 401k at the company. If you have that a roth. Ira and then on the side. If you want to save some money just in general what you can earmark that for for a year from now when you guys get married that you can throw at her debts for sure. It'll be your debt together at that point or you can even use it as a down payment on a home Later in life to whatever. You wanna do bridges earmarking. It's on the side. But not i would still find retirement. How much student loan as she have that that is she going to have It's like going to be at or around. A hundred thousand dollars. Might change the answer. Okay and you make what sixty five thousand a year. Okay and then she'll be making probably about that when she comes out. Roughly two so you have one hundred thirty thousand dollar income one hundred thousand dollars in student. Loan debt yeah with being that much. I might Delay retirement for one year deposit. Really yeah and just pile up cash and get ready for the marriage because as soon as you walk down the aisle you're one hundred thousand dollars in debt and you gotta get that cleaned up then before you start retirement and your twenty two. You got plenty of time to get to retirement either. Answer is going to be okay. There's not not neither one of us. are you know. Neither one of our answers are wrong. It's just a matter of i. i think it it. Sure it sure would be cool. If out of sixty five thousand dollars in eighteen months you had put aside sixty and you only had knockout forty when you got married to check after you walk down the offer sixty because you had a pile of money land there and then you have the knockout forty when you got married. And she passes her her her her her licensing and all that and is able to go forward. But yeah i because you're going to have to stop retirement after if you're only gonna do it for one year and then you're stop it and get 'cause you're going to be back in debt but either way so you could do your roth. Ira for one year. Like rachel saying it's not not a not a wrong answer here The fact that you're twenty two you're graduating economics graduating a pa and you're even asking these questions makes you a genius. I mean you're just so far ahead of the rest of your classmates because they're gonna wander around some them a decade before they can find a checkbook and so you're just way ahead dude you know so neither one of these things is gonna mess you up good good call. Thank you man. and congratulations. Rondell is in new york city high. Rondell how are you dave. Thanks for taking my call. I'm well how are you better than i deserve. How can we help So i am looking to. So i just sold my house and i'm looking to purchase a new home so i'm wondering if i should get a two family home. That's going to be a bit more expensive. Obviously real estate in new york super expensive plan on renting out half of it and that income project should bring me down to that twenty five percent That's income ratio. So i was wondering What are your thoughts on that. Or should i just go for like a regular house. I probably would go for a regular house. And the reason i personally is a two family home. The good news is you're renter is next door. You can watch out for what's going on the bad news. Is you're renters next door. And if they want someone who's going to be knocking on your door. I mean it's So it's a. It's a little bit awkward at times to be in the same property. The other thing is a family home. Ninety percent of the time that is it's sold the owner occupied meaning. It's going to be an investor buying a duplex buying a two two unit product and So your buyer on that kind of thing is an investor most always and it's therefore they're looking for a deal your buyer on a single family when you get ready to resell is retail. It's joe and suzy just got married once that house or whatever and so and they pay retail so single families of the exact same price will typically appreciate better than a duplex will Just because of who the end user is when you get ready to flip out of it but It's it's not a bad idea. It's not the end of the world but you know sometimes all we look at as the math and going all the renter's gonna help me pay and that's going to be grand and it's like no it's there's a lot of crap involved in all that that's not going to necessarily be fun so You know i. I probably wouldn't. I wouldn't personally because a quality of life i just wouldn't want to live right next door to my renner. It's just. I just personally would want to do that. And i've got a bunch of rental property. And i'm not a snob. I've been a renter. That's not the point. But i just th. That's an awkward relationship the convenience of what they have toward you. Yeah you're pulling in the driveway and they're both bone in the right way and you know it's just weird next door neighbor weird relationship so but you can do what i. It's not a bad thing but it's certainly not a slam dunk. Oh yes definitely take the income. Because there's more to it than the than just that when you're when you're renting property open phones at triple eight eight to five five two two five and by the way there are once you learn how to work with people in the real estate business and you learn how to interview a potential renter for one of your properties like you were interviewing a team member to come on board with your company Is not dissimilar you you you can learn to weed out people that are going to be a problem and you can learn to put it in really high quality folks a lot of the rental property that we have reckless husband. Winston runs are are rentals runs all of our real estate and he does a great job screening tennyson. And it's not unusual for one of our tennis to have been in a property five years and our friends. They become friends because they're good people you know and so that you can get the never hear me say we're putting down renters. We're not because i've been one and we work with lot of really high quality people that for whatever reason at this point the renting so you can. You can get if you do the proper screening. You can get a good situation. This is the dave ramsey. Show at tacoma's. We believe a great pair of cowboy boots should be comfortable right out of the box and we believe that your hard earned dollar should go far so we only sell direct to you. Know retail markups. Just amazingly handsome western boots for men and women find your parrot to dot com slash ramsey and for a limited time use promo code ramsey to receive a free campfire with any purchase over one hundred dollars. That's a twenty five dollar value offer valid online only while supplies last and it ends soon regular cruise ramsey personality to tom bestselling author number one. Bestselling author is my co host today. We're answering your questions about your life and your money open phones at triple eight eight to five five two two five her new book rachel cruze know yourself know your money will come out. In just a couple of weeks january the fifth we will be shipping. It is on pre sale right now and a whole bunch of you have bought it ahead of time. Thank you tens of thousands of you. And i appreciate it If you pre purchase it before january the fifth highly recommend that by the way not only. Does it help us. It helps you. That's the important thing you are going to get a call with. A ramsey preferred financial coach. This is for a limited time. You're going to get the know yourself. Know your money audio book. The know yourself know your money e book and an exclusive video lesson from rachel cruze as well hundred and fifty dollars in bonus items when you buy twenty dollar book So why do we go to all that trouble water. We bribe you like that to get you to buy a book ahead of time because it's a great book number one. You're going to get it anyway. You might as well get all the free stuff up front because it helps us with sellers to get them get a bunch of them presold and so it really does. and so. that's why we push it like this and that's why we give you so much free stuff. Can i reject sure to your book. Okay in the reason for the bestsellers not just for the title of it. It's because if a book it's a bestseller lists other outlets. They see they read it so then other people care about the book to help them. It makes it. i don't want people think. Oh i just. I wanna be. I don't know i you're already been number one twice but to do it. Yeah so that it causes the book to be able to help us. That's right that's right. Yeah so that it's out in the world more because again when people can understand why they handle money the way they do everything from how they grew up to their tendencies their dreams fears all of it. It gives really this validity of what we've been talking about that personal finances eighty percent behavior. It's only twenty percent had knowledge but knowing why you have the behaviors are you have helped you. Change those behaviors that are unhealthy and when with faster. So it's a it's a fun new deep dive into how to look at money and yet when 'priority get hundred fifty fifty dollars worth of free stuff true. Check it out know yourself. Know your money at daveramsey dot com washington. Dc todd is on the line. Welcome to the dave ramsey. Show any date how you doing. Great man how can we help all right. Well actually live in alexandria. virginia Thinking about refinancing our house. And i'm trying to really try side. It's worth it I wanna give you some scenario and see what you think what. Your current interest-rate carnage or finance last year at the end of two thousand nineteen got three point. Two five on a fifteen fifteen arm okay. I've been paying extra because me and my wife and our late fifties and we want to get the damn thing paid off this weekend. And i like that okay. So it's a three three to five arm. Yes it teeth remark ready. Yeah and what's the offer on the refinance so the credit union's offering two point five. I'm going to switch to a fifteen year fixed. Nope one lynch. They're telling me approximate closing costs. 'cause they currently hold escrow and all that would probably be sixty five hundred. Eight thousand mestre ballpark. What's your balance closing cost We owe three eighty four. We all sixty five hundred included. Escrow sat up. But you get your other escrow account back what your closing class not to sixty five hundred about thirty two hundred. I found that right thirty five. I think so yes. You're going to do this. Here's why here's why. Let's let's walk through the math right. Roughened dirty your state. You're saving three quarters of a point. So i'm gonna just say one percent. Three eighty-five is thirty. Eight hundred bucks. You're going to save thirty eight hundred bucks a first year. You broke even after your one everything after your ones gravy on a biscuit. You're gonna save thirty eight hundred bucks or so every year until you get the stinking thing paid off not quite because you're gonna go down but overall i mean you're gonna save tens of thousands of dollars over a ten year period of time by doing this refi. Absolutely i would do and right now. I've been paying eleven hundred extra every month and right now just just paying that extra saving me about almost one hundred nineteen thousand and interest and if i switched the fifteen and pay just another about three hundred extra money to keep the same payment. I'm doing right now. exactly. I'm i'm shaving off another forty thousand and interests and yeah and that way that's the shortening of the mortgage which is one analysis. But the way you analyze whether to refinance is simply your interest saved the difference in the two rates times your balance versus your closing costs and that tells you whether to do it or not and you have a one year break even point on a break even analysis on that. And if you're gonna stay in this house. That's a no brainer. You do that and considering. It's an arm versus getting rid of that arm as a benefit to the knit never arm folks especially in the lowest interest rates fifty years where you can adjust from here up. We just don't do arms. No no no no no no open phones at triple eight eight to five five. Two two five ryan is in roanoke high ryan. Welcome to the show. Dave hurry you know better than deserve what's up. Hey i graduated this spring Virginia tech. And i'm starting to take a look at paying off my student loans and was introduced to some of your videos through youtube and i'm trying to figure out the best way to go about Cool how much do you have ryan. Just over fifty thousand. I think like if you want. Do you have any other debt. besides that A car loan or A couple of thousand. That's kind of quickly. Yeah and as the fifty thousand students at broken up into multiple loans or is at one large student loan it's multiple loans. And i guess that's kind of where the main question is. I've been saving up to try to take care of the highest interest rate One of those loans to save myself money and after watching your videos about the debt snowball. I'm not sure if i should do that. Or take care of a couple of the smaller ones that interest rates i. Yeah sorry one last question how much you have saved. You said you've been saving to throw at the at the highest interest rate or you're just saying as we're getting money that's what you're paying off i Saving do though. I still have a couple of months. I guess know about a month until they actually turn on six months after my payments. Start and in january. Wash that you have in your savings account Right now eleven thousand after a year. I think probably more like thirteen. Okay and what is your smallest student. Loan sixty seven hundred. I think perfect okay so you probably heard this on youtube. We're gonna lift your debts two largest right so today i would pay off your car and your smallest student loan and you think that that would be the best the best way i mean. I'm i'm definitely a saver. I know rachel talks about our usa. Spender I'm definitely a favor. So i don't think there's a problem that keep going with. You think that. I should take care of the smallest loan in the car. I yeah because when you look at the debt. Snowball versus the debt avalanches another way of looking at the highest interest rate which are doing with the debt. Snowball not only have studies. Come out to show that it is the fastest way to get out of debt. But what ends up happening as you start knocking out those smallest debts and you eliminate it completely and what you're not factoring in is just the emotional toll and what happens to human behavior when you start to get quick wins and so by knocking off the small step i. You're actually doing so much to keep you motivated and ryan as a saver putting. We're going to tell you if you have thirteen thousand save up your bonus putting it all towards dead except for a thousand dollars is gonna make you feel very uncomfortable so just heads up on that too but an urgency as well so by paying off smallest largest up telling you the behavior change that occurs in you. The motivation continues to get those quick winds absolutely knowledge to low math. Okay fifty two thousand fifty. Three thousand dollars minus thirteen is forty and what it made fifty one. I can't remember. i'll never forget. Told us what his income was. He but so quick. You gonna play a forty a maximum of eighteen months under real fast now. Dude get after it get it. This is the dave ramsey show as we continue to face challenging times. I hear that a lot of you have been calling zander insurance to see if term life plans are still available. The good news is that the insurance companies are starting to loosen up the restrictions. So if you haven't dealt with this yet do it. Now let this crazy season. Motivate you to get your priorities in order and check the big things like life insurance off your list. Rates are still low. Call zander insurance today. Eight hundred three five six forty two eighty two or visit zander. Dot com Rachel cruze ramsey personality is my co host today open phones at triple eight eight to five five two two five. Our question today comes from blinds dot com. They have a one hundred percent satisfaction. Guaranteed even if you miss measure. You picked the wrong color. They'll remake your window blinds for free. You get free samples free shipping with promo. They run all the time. You'll save even more. Use the promo code. The magic word ramsey. And you'll get a better deal. Today's question comes from monica in nebraska. We are in baby step. Two and we are in a large amount of debt because of various stupid decisions. My husband is really not interested in working this program. I am the one that does all the financial stuff. And i am the main breadwinner. He has basically said tell him what he can be spent on various categories and he will make it happen so i decided to work the debt snowball. Is it wrong to move forward when he isn't really supportive. Well so monitor. The deal is the when you're married when you both can work together and beyond saint team go towards the same goals you have the same vision. You're going to get there faster because you're both willing to sacrifice your both thinking about it. Dan day out like that is what you're working towards as a team so you're going to get progress a lot faster. It doesn't sound like he's not necessarily not supportive. He's kinda just tell me where i can spend it and i'll spend it and that's kind of. He's kind of checked out. I wish he was more interested in working this program but he said just tell him what he can what can be spent in certain various categories. And i would tell him. I'm not your mother be a man. Go down walmart on all three and pick you up a backbone snow really. Monica little wuss. Seriously you need to step up you need a man up and walk with your wife poddar. Yes he does but he he's asking the question. It's monica monica. Was call him out. Can you imagine if i walked in and told your mother that i didn't really care and you just do whatever you want. And you take care of everything. And i'm just gonna sit over here in the corner. Which can you imagine what your mother would do. She would join my. But that wasn't even come. Close no really. I mean call him i know but welcome to this is this is. This is a lot of this is a lot of people situations. Though in america it really is is has become the one. She is the cfo of the household. I mean she really is the one doing the money doing everything In regards to money and so you have to realize women out there number one that when your husband is on board you win faster. So what do you do about it number to go. And i would say. Sit down and have a frank conversation as respectful as you would like or as davis zome as you would like to take it. That's up to you but to say hey here. Here's what i'm feeling. Here's what i'm thinking here are my fears here are my why do i wanna win. Why do i want to get out of debt. In talked him have a relationship. have communications. guys can get on the same team and so when that doesn't happen. I'd also say third party. I mean at that point at that point. You have more marriage issues the money issues because you're not willing to work together in a marriage that's what marriage is your living life together and you're unified and every subject including money so monica rituals right about one thing you are. You are one hundred percent more capable than he is. You have the natural gifting. You're the cfo of the household. I am not discounting that at all and so you're the one that's probably going to implement the plan. You're probably using a design the plan but this idea that he gets to sit over in the corner and be spoon fed. Whatever he tammy. When i can spend oh brother. That's just ridiculous. That's absolutely absurd. And so you're you're probably the one that has the the greater talent in this area and obviously the greater concern for. That's not going to change. But he does need to step up and say all right. I'll walk with you in this dream. I'm gonna come with you. Let's look together at the budget. You do the budget. I'll look at it with you. You're probably going to be one that produces it because she's the cfo of the house. I don't care the amount of wellness a cfo my point. But i gotta tell you she's going to end up really frustrated with him being a worst like this and it's gonna damage their relationship because i've coached people in these situations after a ladies. Try to do this for ten years. And she finally just tired of being married to a little boy. Yeah that's what i was saying earlier. Those a lot of women possibly listening right. The second are is exactly in her situation. They are finding themselves at their husbands. Do not want to participate. Don't wanna go along with it. Not that they're not that they're saying i wouldn't yes. Pass it and that's just that's just gross. Seriously yes and worst vacation of america and the the deal too is that we say life problems usually masquerade themselves. Money problems so there's probably other areas in her marriage assuming that leads frustrated that he's not whether it's kids or whatever the situation is there's a lot that's the personnel. That's what that's the roles that have been place not just with money and so being able to help him get on board is going to help. Also the marriage because we talk to you winning here. I mean absolutely. You are not going to build pull this off. It was with the formula that you are using. It's not gonna work. I mean it may work for a little while. But eventually it's going to blow up for relational reasons and financial reasons He may get tired of being dictated to at some point You know being told my wife. Don't let me do this. I mean what kind of oak roche in so You know that that that so that it's going to blow up it's not gonna work. We've done it too long. I mean thirty years of doing this. I've watched this which unfold over and over again so what he has to do and you have to call him out on this or go. See a third party marriage counselor together. What rachel saying is exactly right on that The you've got to go and get not. He doesn't need to become a nerd and he doesn't need to become the one that drives the budget but he's got to be an agreement and has to actively emotionally vote and say all right. I i look at that. I agree that that taking those steps is going to take us to a dream. I agree on. That's a lot different than sit. And then you go and do the stuff. That's fine no problem with that but when he just sitting back and you're trying to drag him along and he just gets his little allowance. Oh my gosh it's true. I agree with that. Joe is whether it's in rochester. New york hey joe how are you. You're at how are you better than i deserve. What's up so i'm babysit baby. Step two. i've been watching you on youtube for a few months. And i noticed you had a consistent message of saying the a contributing adult so i recently accepted promotion. My job and i believe i can afford to move out fast. Thinks this is silly and they say live at home until i pay off all my debt. I wanted to know if you agree. How old are you twenty. Five twenty five hamas death. Do you have forty five thousand and what do you make About fifty five. What do you do. I provide solutions for my company mortgage. We all do okay Are you married. Married kids nothing. Okay no okay. I mean so i going. We've been arguing for this whole going okay. So so mathematically. Could you save money on rent for a year or two live with your parents us what you pay for rent to throw out. The debt gathered faust. Yes absolutely But there is something to be said about being a self sustaining adult and saying. Hey i out of my budget i have rents and i have things i have to pay that. I'm taking care of myself. And there's a level of dignity there. Joe that i think is really important so i don't know i i'm kind of one way or the other. I mean i probably would be for you to go and just pay rents and start living on your own but if you're like really aggressive with this debt and you want to get it paid off. You're making sacrifices or doing whatever you have to do and intensity because you're working towards a goal. I won't be mad about that all three of my kids. Joe are did extremely well. I'm very proud of all three of them including original winston But in a and they were all hard workers and they were all responsible with money when they were under my care in college when they came out of college and they went on their own with their own income and the numbers continued to be responsible with money And they took on some extra expenses to not live under our roof to do that. In all three of these responsible. Young adults cases. I saw them grow up to more notches when they were on their own. Something happens and you got to pay your own light bill and you gotta wash your own clothes and you've got to pay the rent and deal with the landlord and something else happens and so i would do it. I'd move out within the next few months. I'm not mad at anybody not be mean to anybody but it's not just a math thing. It's a developmental adult thing. This is the dave ramsey show rachel cruze ramsey personality is my co host today. Open phones at triple eight. Eight to five. Five to erin is in tacoma washington. Hey erin how are you hi. i'm doing well. How about you better than i deserve. What's up and yeah. I just found you on black friday and i have dove into yours and rachel fix and been listening. Like crazy wild. Thank you right. i'm yeah. I'm still finishing baby. Step one on my four walls To riff however as i'm approaching baby step two I have a possible funeral and burial in the near future My estranged father has placed me executive. I don't know how much these things cost. And i know there won't be an cash in the seat until Life insurance is paid out. So how much does that cost. And i would assume that. I need to start saving for that before. I jump into baby step. Two were busy He actually was in hospice in california but one of my brothers picked him up and brought him back to washington. Okay to call the funeral home in the town that he's in interest and Tell them you have two problems number one you have an estate that is gonna be formed. Soon he's in hospice and There's not much money in the estate so the sounds awful. But i'm gonna say it out loud. Okay i is what i would do if i were in your shoes. I'm gonna call the funeral home and go. I need the budget funeral. What's what's the bottom line and you're probably gonna find five to seven thousand okay okay As long as you're not in some kind of major metro area and you get a hold of some kind of crazy funeral home but most of them have a budget process. Okay for families. That don't have any money And i you know you can explore all kinds of different options cremation or whatever it's up to you and look into those things just you know. Gather up the dollars associated with the three best options. And then you can think about the three best options okay and That that's your first thing. And then you know what your target is. Then the second thing is ask them if they will accept an thome. There's a life insurance policy involved but there's no cash in the estate. Will they accept an assignment of the life. Insurance proceeds up to the cost of the funeral. Most funeral homes do that assignment of just say look here on the. Who's the beneficiary the estate or you. I am okay so you can come take them policy and show them. I am the beneficiary on this policy. And it pays x number of dollars a lot more than you're going to need for the funeral right okay and And you go. i'm willing to assign. Let's just call it if the funeral sixty three hundred dollars okay. I'm just making this up. But i you know i'm willing to assign the i sixty three hundred dollars out of this and have it paid directly from the insurance company or just give you a An agreement or written agreement that the money as soon as it comes to me. We'll go to you but they will work with you because you can usually collect that money with most insurance companies within six weeks and so they're used to having to do that. It's not that unusual at all because a lot of families don't have the cash but but do have life insurance so two things one is gathered up the information and then too but the problem is it's it's achey talk about. It's awkward even just you and me talking about. It's awkward right sure. Yes yeah absolutely. It's your dad. He's estranged that's iki You being having a fix this and take care of all of it when there's not much relationships vickie again and now we're talking about the cost of funerals you know but it's just like it's just life i mean and so we're just going what's the least expensive way we can take care of. His final remains in in a way. That you twenty years from our proud. You did it that way you know. Yeah i mean up. Until i found you just input on a credit card definitely want plan that i don't do that well. They may ask you to do that. But i would just say that's not an option pushback on him again. They're used to working with families that have access to the cash but they've got to get it out of the estate somehow that's not that's fairly normal transaction because most people don't do good planning and most people don't have any money i would assume to that in that part of business as well there's different levels there's ways you can probably spend a lot. Oh yeah So making those choices. I think is important to be smart and to have the end the dignity respects. Of course of your dad like you said like that advice though like from twenty years from now you regrets. No a lot of people have really strong opinions about their final resting place. And so if you're listening right now and you haven't really planned that and you care a lot You can go to a funeral home and pre plan. We do not suggest you pre play prepay. Don't prepay for your funeral. But you can sit down and go look. I don't want to freak and bentley. i want the chevrolet bentley. i'm not gonna care at this point whether what color the thing is. It's not gonna be that color for about six months anyway so it doesn't matter you know and so you know you you may have different you know. We have wicked sense of humor and run ramsey but But the but yeah. I mean you can decide for yourself. And then your heirs don't have to Because you know you're you know. Rachel probably would spend a lot of money to make sure. Her dad rested beautifully. And you know. Daniel would put me like in a box so probably ought to go plan this so that i get what i want out of this. I'm gonna be in heaven so i'm not worried about what what the box so. I'm not sweating it. But i it's a it's a. It's such a weird discussion. And and i think to earn. Is she smart to be thinking all of this ahead of time because when a passing does happen a stranger not the grief come and they're right there's just the human spirit and emotion that goes through when you lose someone and when as many decisions can be made ahead of time It's better that's what we talk about a will. That's why we talk about having a legacy drawer so everything's in there to limit as much as you can on the tactical side for your family is to say i love you as well. So we have always said. Don't prepay but always preplanned and how much detail you want to go on. Pre-planning actually causes your wishes. If you're if you would be aghast that your children's spent twenty thousand dollars on the casket in the vault. Then go over there and pick out the four thousand dollar one and tell him that's what you got. You know it's all on or vice versa. Gas that they put you in the four thousand little cheapskates. Instead i wanted to be in the twenty k. So so another way of looking at this too. I feel like we have heard you say this before that. In order to have to have life insurance the reason you need life. Insurance is if someone is dependent upon your income. But if you don't have money. Is there a reason that life insurance a small amounts for burial burial costs. That would be a reason to get life insurance. But that's a ten thousand dollar policy. I mean it's not totally totally. You can get checking account. It's not it's not a it's not a big expensive item but the idea of pre-planning through anything that's highly emotional certainly You know having a you're you're you're will Life insurance funeral plans all those kinds of things. It's just. It's a gift to your family folks for you to do that. And it's not your mama. Bear legal forms dot com. And you can get your will done in just a few minutes. It's very easy to do. If you don't have a william updated it you need a will go ahead and do it like this week than when everybody's around next week you can tell them if they're in the will or not down and have a discussion or do a reading of the will while you're alive if you wanna piss them off do it. While you're living yeah okay. No but we say to that though. Don't surprise but for real talk about the stuff we. We have a meeting once a year with the as we caught the win. Dave dies meeting and it's like when something happens to dad or mom or both. Here's what it is but as a as a grown adult child. I'm so thankful that you guys talk about it and communicate about it so it is a gift a really asked monty python move meeting. I'm feeling much better. It's just a flesh wound. This is the dave ramsey. Show have a friend or family. Member needs a daily dose of ramsey advice in their life. Let them know about the ramsey. Call of the day podcast. It's a quick of advice about life and money in under ten minutes. Check out the ramsey. Call today podcast. Wherever you listen to podcasts. Feel like you're in a rut and living life just going through the motions build confidence in yourself and learn to trust the god who created you. Check out the christy wright show where christie inspires you to breakthrough your limitations and create the life. You're proud to live. Hey all i'm christie right. You know it's so easy to feel stuck. You live life just going through the motions doing dishes. Doing laundry carpool lines and a whole list of commitments. That bring you know joy we live like that. That's why i want you to check out the christy wright show each episode will help you build confidence in yourself and the god that created you hear more from the ramsey network including the christy wright. Show wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey it's james producer of the dave ramsey show. This episode is over but check the episode notes for links to products and services. You've heard about during this episode. Thanks for listening.

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Episode 19 - Brazilian Folk Tales

Folklore on the Rocks

1:12:54 hr | 2 years ago

Episode 19 - Brazilian Folk Tales

"Eight. Hello, everybody. I'm logan. Lindsey and welcome to folklore on the rocks. So yeah, we are off to another exciting destination. And we're going to drink in mind. We're gonna share some stories with you, isn't that? Right lins. We are. Although we wanted to share a quick announcements. Get ruling too fast, you're fine. We're getting there. So we are going to be changing how are episodes kind of cycle through. We're going to end up doing folktales from a certain region. I to kinda just immerse you guys in the culture a little bit as we'll kind of give you a hint or narrow down what our next creature might be so kind of leaves a little bit of mystery exactly scary stories start with the setting. It's got to be a dark and stormy night. First before you know, the monster that's creeping in your door. Exactly. It's very true. So this'll be a nice way to kind of set the tone, and you leave you leave a guessing a little bit like tonight were in Brazil, so Brazil, have maybe try to guess what next week's creature is without us. You know, telling you, and they're being a creature immediately. So I think that'll just add a little more fun to it on. You'll still get the same episodes just kind of an indifferent. Order and our modern folklore will be still be fifth in our cycle. And if you really have a problem with a guess, you could just play them in your own order Mesa Mestre a week. It's the joy of podcasts. Oh, listen to both of refined or binge. Listen to us. If that's your thing too. So yes tonight, we've got some folktales for you instead of a creature in case, you couldn't tell from the title of the episode. But it's been a really fun way for us to jump into a culture and folklore first before getting so focused on one creature or one set of stories space you and in light of that. Let's talk about our cocktail for tonight. So we are doing Brazil's national cocktail the hype Raina got 'bout in. Yeah. It is like I said, the national cocktail of Brazil lake they are proud of it. It's wherever you go. And it's made with a liquor called shos. It's kind of similar to run a little bit in their both distilled from sugarcane, but they are produced kind of through different processes, so Casaus can't talk, man. It can only be made in Brazil from fresh cane juice on the night of the full moon. It's exactly the talk freeze your ways, maybe not quite that. But in some some form or another. But it's it's for mended, and that single distilled, and then rum on the other hand it can be made. Anyways, delicious, it is delicious. But it's usually produced from the molasses which is cooked pry product of sugar production. So it ends up being still to away higher percentages of alcohol by volume. So Shaw's less potent. It's a little fruit eater. It has subtle sweetness to it. It is definitely sweet. And it's it is a mellow liquor. It's nice. It is. Yeah. In comparison like Rama's little bit spicier and more caramelized. Yeah. So it's different in that way. But it's so easy to make it so yummy. It's very citrusy with a little bit of that sour. Sweet. It's essentially made with half a lime one and like half a teaspoon to two teaspoons of sugar. It really just depends on how much sugar you want in it. It's a total taste thing. And then just two answers of Kashasa, and he'd just garnished with oil, the easiest thing ever, so tasty to feel like you're on a beach in Brazil. I feel like I'm you know, on on some kind of Cabana looking out over a lush jungle. And I know that the our expedition is just getting ready to leave to go deeper into the interior, and yeah, and I'm like, I can feel that Santa my toes, and that beach seabreeze. Yeah. Got it. That's that's there too. It's all part of the wonderful tapestry of scenery. That is America. It's it's kind of greet that folks that too because I'm I'm sitting here freezing, actually. Very cold here. Right after we got. So while we were talking about, you know, the the North Pole and the Arctic. It was it was kinda temperate it was kind of. I was I was reading my bike a lot here. We were like spring ish weather. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, it got it became remembered that it is in fact, February and we do live in place where it's five months of winter. Yeah. No everywhere. Mountains of snow. It's crazy, but it'll be gone in three days. Don't worry about it. Definitely. By the time. This comes out probably perfect. This has been this has been a nice nice reprieve from the sudden bout of winter that we've all had here in Salt Lake, and I know other places as well. It's been very cold in many many. We have not caught the worst of the of the polar vortex or any of the things that that the east side of the Rockies got but very grateful for. Yeah. We know this has been a rough winter for everybody. So let's take a break from the cold and head on down to sunny, Brazil. What do you say that's in case you guys want? I get some instruction on how to make the guy traina, basically. If you want instructions on how to get to Brazil. Well, you can on a plane step. One place yourself inside a box step to label the bucks to Brazil, Rio de Janeiro. You going to go like the ease morale anyways? So basically, you just you cut half of a lime into small edges. You're gonna end up policing the lime in the sugar into glass and muddle it another use for muddle or more muddle. Ice cubes. And then the Persada still can't terrible. Then you just stern enjoy super easy. I know even have like vendors on the beach in Brazil, you can just be like covering, please. And they make it very right that in their ill. Let's go. What's this nothing? Let's go. Sounds great password by guys later. I I before we go before we get ready for. Let's let's listen to some stories from Brazil. We should tell tell the stories guess, okay? We won't leave. Yeah. So yeah. The folklore lore folktales from Brazil. These were fun wants to read a lot of them are very has a lot of talking animals kind of like almost like fables, really. There are several little little lessons to be learned from these. They are their stories that I think you could tell to a younger audience, and it would be fine. But it's it's a timeless kind of fairy tale. Yeah, we can learn something from tales like that for sure. And these ones we we actually got from a book that is called fairy tales from Brazil how and why tales from Brazilian folklore, and it's by Elsie Spicer Ellis. So our first hail for tonight is going to be how the monkey became a trickster. This is a good one. Hope y'all enjoy it once upon a time. There was a beautiful garden in which grew all sorts of fruits. Many beasts lived in the garden, and they were permitted to eat the fruits whenever they wished. But they were asked to observe one rule. They must first make a low polite. Bowed the fruit tree, call it by its name and say, please give me a taste of your fruit. They had to be very careful to remember the trees, correct name and not to forget to say, please. It was also very important that they should remember not to be greedy. They must always leave plenty of fruit for the other beasts who might pass that way and plenty to adorn the tree itself and to furnish seed, so that other trees might grow if they wished to eat figs. They had to say oh fig tree. Oh, fig tree, please. Give me a taste of your fruit. Or if they wished to eat oranges. They had to say oh, orange tree. Oh, orange tree. Please. Give me a taste of your fruit. In one corner of the garden grew the most splendid. Tree of all it was tall and beautiful and the rosy cheeked fruit upon its wide spreading branches looked wonderfully. Tempting no beast had ever tasted of that fruit for no beast could ever remember its name in a tiny house near the edge of the garden. Dwelt a little old woman who knew the names of all the fruit trees, which grew in the garden, the beasts soft and went to her and asked the name of the wonderful fruit tree. But the tree was so far distant from the tiny house of the little old woman that no beast could ever remember the long hard name by the time. He reached the fruit tree at last the monkey thought of a trick. Perhaps you did not know it but the monkey can play the guitar. He always played when the beasts scattered around the garden to dance the monkey went to the tiny house of little old woman carrying his guitar under his arm when she told him the long hard name of the wonderful fruit. Tree he made up a little tune to it all his own and sang it over and over again all the way from the tiny house of the little old woman to the corner of the garden where the wonderful fruit tree grew when. The other be Smet him and asked him what new song he was singing to his guitar. He said never a word he marched straight on playing his little tune over and over again on his guitar and singing softly, the long hard name at last. He reached the corner of the garden where the wonderful fruit tree grew. He had never seen. It looked so beautiful the rosy cheeked fruit glowed in the bright. Sunlight the monkey could hardly wait to make his bow say the long hard name over twice and asked for the fruit with please what a beautiful color, and what a delicious odor, the fruit had the monkey had never in all his life been so near anything, which smells so good. He took a big bite. Ooh what face? He made that beautiful sweet-smelling fruit was bitter and sour and had had a nasty taste. He threw it away from him as far as he could the monkey never forgot the trees long hard name and a little tune that he had sung nor did he forget how that fruit tasted. He never took a bite of it again. But after that his favorite trick was to treat the other beasts to the wonderful fruit just to see the make faces when they tasted it would. You think about that? Logan. I do like that the like the monkey as a trickster. That's a very fun character. He's very he's kind of like a Coyote or a Nancy has that kind of element to him. Yeah. I mean monkeys in general are totally mischievous creatures. Right. Like, they already are. So it's he's perfect pick to be the the trickster, right? Yeah. And I really liked that like the initial part of this tale when they were talking about, you know. You know, showing respect for where you're comes from. I really did like that. And ask permission not be greedy. And I think that's good advice for basically, everything in your life. Right. I think it's really Vokes the culture that they have done there because they get so much from what's around them, you know, from from the ocean from the four the rainforests and everywhere in between, you know, they have such a lush environment, and they have such amazing ecosystems within that. It's so bountiful. But you know, you you destroy things us up things, and it goes away, you know? So then not being greedy part is really really important. I think I like that. That's that's reading the core of of their fairy tales and these aspects of these characters that that they are part of this ecosystem. System they all live together. Definitely. And I think that's that's why it's present. It's why it makes sense to talk about it through these animals voices because it's more fun. And because it makes the tail more palatable or easy for kids to understand perfect. You know, stuff like that. I also really liked him cut. What it said about how it's easy to use music to remember things. Yeah. It's a really great mnemonic device that used to use my mom taught at both me. And Mr. when we were kids to make up a song to remember details for us. It was for tests yet timer stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Exxon with the president's. That's good. Yeah. I always think it's funny that I never really learned to read music, but performed in a lot of musicals. So I just pick them up by air the whole time. And there's a lot of a lot of very talented performers that I've worked with that thing. That's just a travesty that oh, you what you can't read music. No, it's you lock it into your brain. And after a while because it's the song it all fits together musicians that just play by ear, you know, now. So it's it's really cool. Like, it's it's a really cool way to remember stuff. And I think a good way to call back to that as lake you hear a song that was you know, on the radio, and you were twelve and plays, and you can remember every single word, you know. It just it sticks in your brain. Really? Well, so I think that was a really smart thing. It was really smart thing for him to do to remember the name of the tree, you know, now, this gross fruit that turned Tasso the key terrible. What do you think it tasted like to me like? Reminds me very much like a durian, which has a terrible odor. But a sweet flavor. This is kind of the opposite. It also kind of made me think of something like like perfumes or even the smelly markers that they smell one way. But if you ever tasted them as a kid terrible. They they don't taste like they smell. No. I totally agree. There's there's actually a weirdly a large amount of stuff like that. That that seems appealing. And then definitely is not once you get it. And I think that if we expand back from that a little bit we we ended up with kind of the the moral of the story. I guess which is which is the something that's beautiful or appealing isn't always good on the inside. Or like reality doesn't really live up to expectations. Sometimes, you know, could it be that we have landed upon a lesson in there may have. I mean, I I guess another one would be like that. He worked hard for his goal and was disappointed. You know, like, it's not always gonna turn out. He wanted to. I do think that that's an important lesson to include that things don't always work out. Exactly the right way. And he turned it to his favor. Because now he's having a lot of fun with it. Right. Has it as as a tool that he can use? Yeah. He's a different kind of enjoyment. And that's a good lesson to take from two. You may end up with a different aspect of something that you didn't expect before. But you do you do end up with something good. It's just not necessarily what you thought you would think that's like an adulting lesson for all of us. None of us. That's a very good lesson forever. Where we thought we would be at least I know between the fuss really notebook join ourselves. And that's what's important. You know, at least I am. I can't speak for you necessarily. You know? Of course, I am. I've got I've got a rainy here. And knowing you you enjoy life as a whole. In general, which is too. I try to take lessons from old Mr. monkey. It's life's too short. Not to have a good time with it. Yeah. It's so true. It is so true. So many other pretty much. Pretty much and this one was a short little story. But it was a fun one. I liked it. I would like to see it acted out. It would be fun to see like a puppet show format or something like that. Yeah. Okay. So let's move onto our next tail and that one is called. How the Brazilian Beatles. Got their gorgeous coats. Oh, this is a good one. All right here, we go in Brazil, the Beatles have such beautifully colored hard shelled coats upon their backs that they are often set in pins and necklaces like precious stones once upon a time years and years ago, they had ordinary plain Brown coats. This is how it happened that the Brazilian beetle earned a new coat one day a Little Brown. Beetle was crawling along wall. When a big gray rat ran out of a hole in the wall and looked down scornfully at little beetle. Oh, slowly, you crawl along. You'll never get anywhere in this world. Just look at me and see how fast I can. The big gray rat ran to the end of the wall wheeled around and came back to the place where the little Beatles. Slowly crawling along only a tiny distance for where the rat had left. Her Joe do wish you could run like that said the big gray rat to the Little Brown. Beetle? You surely are a fast runner replied, Little Brown, beetle politely. Her mother had always taught her to be polite and had often said to her that a really polite beetle never boasts about her own accomplishments, the Little Brown beetle, never boasted a single boast about the things you could do. She just went on slowly crawling along the wall, a bright green and gold parrot in a mango tree over the wall had overheard the conversation. How would you like to raise the beetle again, he asked to be gray rat, I live next door to the Taleb. He added and just to make the race exciting Isla bride colored coat as a prize to the one who wins the race. You may choose for it any color you like, and I'll have it made to order. I'd like yellow coat with stripes. Like the Tigers said the big gray rat looking over his shoulder at has gone grey sides as if he were already admiring his new coat. I'd like a beautiful bright colored new coat to said the Little Brown. Beetle the big gray rat laughed long and loud until his gaunt grey sides were shaking. What you just talk as if you thought you had a chance to win the race. He said when he could speak the bright green and gold parrot said the Royal palm tree at the top of the cliff as the goal of the race. He gave the signal to start and then flew away to the Royal palm tree to watch for the end of the race, the big gray rat ran as fast as he could many thought how very tired he was getting. What's the use of hurrying? He said to himself the Little Brown beetle cannot possibly win. If I were racing with somebody who could really run it would be very different than he started to run more slowly, but every time his heartbeat. It said hurry up. Hurry up. The big gray rat decided that it was best to obey the little voice in his heart. So he hurried just as fast as he could when he reached the Royal palm tree of the top of the cliff. He could hardly believe his eyes. He thought he must be having a bad dream. There was the Little Brown beetle sitting quietly beside the bright green and gold parrot the big gray rat had never been so surprised in all his life. How did you manage to run fast enough to get here? So soon he asked the Little Brown beetle as soon as he could catch his breath, the Little Brown beetle drew out the little tiny wings from her sides. Nobody said anything about having to run to win the race. She replied, so I flew. Instead, I did not know that your fly said the big gray rat in a subdued little voice to this said the bright green and gold parrot never judge anyone by his looks alone. You can never tell how often or where you may find concealed wings. You have lost the prize until this day even. In in Brazil, where the flowers and birds and beasts and insects have such gorgeous coloring, the rat. Whereas a plain dull grey coat, then the parrot turned to the Little Brown. Beetle who was waiting quietly at his side. What color do you want your new coat to be? He asked the Little Brown. Beetle looked up at the bright green and gold parrot at the green and gold palm trees above their heads at the green mangoes with golden flushes on their cheeks lying on the ground under the mango trees at the golden sunshine upon the distant green hills. I choose a coat of green and gold. She said from that day, the Brazilian beetle has worn a coat of green with golden lights upon it for years and years the Brazilian Beatles were all very proud to wear green and gold coats like that of the beetle who raced with the rat. Then once upon a time it happened that there was a little beetle who grew discontented with her coat of green and gold. She looked up at the blue sky and out of the blue sea and wish. That she had a blue coat instead she talked about it so much that finally her mother took her to the parrot who live next to the Taylor bird. You may change your coat for a blue one said the parrot. But if you change you'll have to give up something. I'll gladly give up anything if only I may have a blue coat instead of green and gold one said the discontented little beetle when she received her new coat. She thought it was very beautiful. It was a lovely shade of blue and it had silvery white lights on it. Like the light of the stars. When she put it on. However, she discovered that it was not hard like the green and gold one from that day to this. The blue Beetle's coats have not been hard and firm that is the reason why the jewelers have difficulty in using them in pins, and necklaces like the other Beatles from the moment the little beetle put on her new blue coat. She never grew again from that day. The blue Beetle's have been much smaller than the green and gold ones when the Brazilians made their flag, they took for it. A square of green the color of the green Beatles coat. They took for it. A square of green the color of the green Beatles coat within this square. They placed a diamond of gold like the golden lights which play upon the green Beatles back then within the diamond they drew a circle. To represent the round earth. And they cut blue like the coat of the blue beetle upon the blue circle they placed stars of silvery white like the silvery white lights on the back of the blue beetle about the blue circle of the earth, which they us pictured. They drew a band of white and upon this band. They wrote the motto of their country Oldham, he Progresso order and progress. Ooh. What did you think of that? I actually really really liked this tale it felt like kind of two or three stories in one. I felt like this one while I was reading it. I could have ended a couple of places very felt very much like they were trying to get to somewhere. It's the return of the king syndrome where the movie ends and then keeps going for a half. Exactly. And then ends again. And then they have another shot that would have been perfectly serviceable as the ending for the original. But. Very true. But four. Yeah. But as a side from ending a couple of times, it's a it's a fun story. It has a lot of little lessons in there. Looking at kind of the framework of the story. It feels like again, it's a story that's been told a couple of times and people have built onto it. And. Yeah, this very tortoise and the hair. Yeah. We started there. Yeah. And if you're not familiar with that, it's one of ups fables, and for those of you who like you're letting Schwab's e SOPs fables as well. I don't know either. But there are some that would disagree. And so now both so we're tech right now, my fired both barrels something's gonna hit. With the rat. Like the first thing that I thought of was rodents of unusual size. Yeah. See I tried to read him kind of in the voice that I use to play Templeton. Templeton. He is my favorite, and I will forever and ever have his mortgage board song stuck in my head. We didn't sing the song. But I definitely say a lot backstage. Oh, man. So great such a good movie such a sad movie. In case, you don't know who Templeton is. It's from Charlotte's web the book, Charlie you, have a homework assignment do. Absolutely, especially if you like stories about animals talking. Yeah. You're listening to our podcast. But you haven't read the collected works of e b white. It's so good guys. I mean, it's it's very emotional. But it is thin tastic, and it's a movie too. So you can watch the movie, and it's a super sad movie. It really is. Oh, Wilbur anyway. Well, we've tangent to and I know, but yeah. So the rat the character I liked that that character has carried over into really if he's a great example that the story is not just didn't just spring up in Brazil, very much like the people of Brazil came from somewhere else. And so the rat archetype some of the fable narrative structure, the the talking animals with a lesson to learn the tortoise and the hare. A lot of those are are bits that people have taken with them as they travel along distance. And so it feels like that could have been part of where the story came from because it's part of the identity of Brazil. Absolutely. And I think it's just kind of universal concept in the world. You know, there's always someone that thinks that they're better than someone else and gets shown up, you know, they get proven wrong the under. Dog wins. Sometimes, you know, I also like the finding loophole of the beetle that's a fun. She was so smart. That's a fun lesson that I would love to teach to anybody. Sometimes if you can't find a way through a problem, you can go round of problem just as easily. Exactly, I mean, you should that's logical thinking and more people should. Then when she says, well, it didn't say anywhere in the rules. You couldn't fly. Well, she has a point. And I really loved that. She was a girl, you know. In a lot of the tales were readings night. Most of the characters are guys. But with this like there was no trumpeting around the fact that she was a girl. She was just literally a girl didn't matter. Anyway. Which is exactly I think how it should be just felt natural. And I think that's how sure you do. See the quite a bit in modern, storytelling, again folklore, which is awesome. You know, when when people are adapting fairy tales or old stories for a modern audience. Go ahead. Make it diverse. I'm curious kind of what kind of diversity you would normally see in a little farther a little older this's end of the teen hundreds early early nineteen hundreds. So I mean, it's it's back at a time where isn't necessarily something that you would see unless it had some bearing on the story. But it really it didn't here. And that's why I like. The fact that she was because because it didn't matter that she was she just what's so it felts weirdly progressive. In a great way might issue with this was all of the different people in all of the things in the world. That are telling you that you're not as good as they are at things when you you have your own things that you're good at and we miss the skills. Others can have because we've you them through the lens of our own skills. So it's. That's a very real lesson. Especially in the age of social media where it's very easy to jump on. Well, your feet of choice and see how everyone else has a much nicer life than you do, and it's kinda hard sometimes to think that that that you measure up or or anything like that. I think I think that it's the thing. We've all been a victim of what we've also done. Yeah. Because everyone only wants to broadcast their best moments and let everyone their life is awesome. That's my guess part of human nature, maybe it's become part of human nature. But it's definitely. And so I think from this what we can take that really pays to kind of step into other people's shoes. So you kind of don't underestimate or misjudge them. You know, I think that's nice. I I liked that in the story. They were also very polite as well. And it was kind of a polite story, I mean, at least the beat allies. She was polite. She boast that she had she clearly had skills. You know, they just didn't have to happen to be walking at the pace of Iraq. They were flying. I think that kind of moving into like how it was multiple multiple stories in one I think that it was a fun way to kind of explain the different kind of species of beetle that they have as well as the colors of the flag. Felt like weirdly separate. But they were also it was interesting that they were like, oh, it's this. And it's this. The same as this. But it all makes sense. A little disjointed. Well, again, it's it's a good story to tell to children if got a little bit of a lesson to it as small touch of knowledge folksy as it may be very like. Okay. Now, let's draw the Brazilian flag. And now that we know the color. Yeah. This is a story you might find in like Tiffany book or something like that. That being said it's legitimately old and. Has some some gravitas of weight? This is still a fun of unreal piece of history. It just is light hearted and positive. Definitely I think the takeaway from the the second part of tale with the the beetle that wanted some wanted a different color. You know? Like that. You can you can still have something wonderful and still want something else. Right. Yeah. I think that was a little bit weird. The the beetle who is kind of a hero for the whole first act of the story. The character even though yes, it is a different beetle. Kind of does this about face in from the audience perspective. The beetle is now this, oh, I don't want this Keller. I would do anything to change this Keller. This really been device just to get the two different colors into story totally possible. But, but it's also very it's very much a thing that humans do right. You know, you have some you have a wonderful life, and you have privilege or you have some sort of skill. But you really really wish that you have this other skill or you really really wished that this other thing was different, you know. Oh, yeah. And it's been what? We do that's been to to a small extent. That's been a lot of a lot of my experience with bikes. Oh, yes. I've mentioned my bike over the last couple of weeks. And and it's that's been a big part of it. You get a bike. And the first couple things you do is. Should I got in the one that does this should have paid a little more to get this get this brain style, or this kind of I should have gone for this and never build you build that list? And eventually, it's okay for my next bike. It's going to do this. And it's going to have this this this, and so I've got a new bike which was the last checklist. And I'm trying to resist starting afresh checklist. For the next. You can you can read rented the snow on your bike. So I think that you kind of maxed out at, you know, I sure miss, you know. Oh, man. So yeah, I really actually did like that story a lot. I thought it was fun as as kind of mishmash easy as it was. But but I still thought it was really good. I thought that the parrot was super cool did like wise pair those just like, yeah. I know it's up. I know what's going to happen here. Get dumb rat. Pretty fun. But. You have anything else to talk about with that story. No. That was kind of it that one was that that was was a fun one to read. I I liked doing it and excited to go onto the next one like the rat race that it was fun. The route was a good part of thanks. So let's take a quick break here to play a promo for you. This is from one of our favorite shows. It's a show called the mythical and the host is known as the narrator, and she kind of does what we do. She she tells you tales, basically, she tells you original myths and fairy tales, she's got some commentaries from Saudi facts. And each of her seasons has a theme. So like her first season was tales by the brothers Grimm. And then the second season that she's currently in right now is all talion fairytales. So because they are actually like the original tales. They can be kinda dark at times as they should be. But it's a really fun show. And I think that if you like these kind of episodes that we do you'll definitely like the show. So we are going to play that for you right now. Yeah. Hello. I'm the narrator host of -nificant the podcast that wanders. The dark and fantastical pages of fairy tales and myths in each episode, I read a dark and original fairytale along with the story. I also add my own commentary on the side, I add sound effects to bring the story to life and give a little bit of history on how the tail may have changed over the years. You can find mythical on all popular podcast apps have a magical day, and I'll see. All right. So our next story is called how the monkey escaped being eaten. Ooh, another one with that old Mr. monkey once upon a time ages and ages ago people ate fruits and nuts. Then there came a time when fruits nuts became scarce people had to eat meat. So they began killing the various beasts to see which ones were the best to eat. They skin them and cut them into pieces and cook them over the fire. Some of the beasts were good to eat others were not good at all. The ox was found to be very good. So was the sheep and the Armadillo then one day a man thought he would try to eat the monkey the monkey was playing guitar overly Louis. Lee raid Lee Ray, the man came close to him and said come here little monkey let me hear you music. I enjoy it very much all the time. The man was coming closer and closer to the monkey just as he was about to reach out his hand. And sees the monkey the monkey gave a sudden leap to a tree and hurried away to the tree top after that every time the man heard the monkey play the guitar. He would come near and try to catch him the monkey grew afraid of the man so afraid that he gave up playing his guitar at all for a long longtime. He did not play upon it one day. He felt he just must have some music. He hid in a hole in the ground. And there he played upon his guitar. He did not think the man would hear him. But the man had very sharp ears when he got through playing. He started to come out of the hole in the ground. And there was the man waiting for him. He quickly crawled back so far that the man could not catch him the monkey waited and waited for the man to go away. But the man. Not go away after a while the man became thirsty and went to get a drink. He left his little boy in his place to watch for the monkey after the man had gone away the monkey called out to the little boy who little little. Don't you wish that you could see this monkey dance the little boy replied that he wished he could just put your little is down to the door of my little cave on I'll show you the monkey dance little said the monkey the little boy put his is down close to the hole in the ground. No sooner had he done so than the monkey through dirt into the little boys is on a little boy was rubbing his is to get the dirt out of them. The monkey made a sudden dash out of the cave and escaped into the treetops. When the men returned the little boy did not dare tell him that the monkey hit escaped. The man waited and waited and waited there by the hole in the ground. At last became tired of waiting and went away. After that the man tried harder than ever to catch that monkey if he had not had the good luck to catch the monkey napping one day. There is no knowing when he would have got his hands upon him. One day. However, he caught the monkey napping. His shut him up in a box and carried him home to the children for supper the men. Put a big dish full of water over the fire ready to cook the monkey then he went away to collect more fuel for the fire the monkey and his guitar were shut up in the box. And they're inside the box the monkey played on his guitar Lulu Lilly. Lulu Lee hu. With this the children came crawling close to the box. Whoa. Ho Choon, no junior and new you wish you could see the monkey day ends said the monkey the little children replied that they wished that. They could who this box is so small does not room enough for mute Dan soon. Here said the monkey then just let me out, and I'll show you how well can the children opened up the box and let them out into the room the monkey Palade on his guitar. A little Li Li. And he danced about the room. And then he said oh children old children. You have got nothing at all. Cooking pot over there. Let us put something into that too. Kook the children thought that it would not be polite to tell the monkey what the pot of water was waiting for. So they let the monkey fill the pot. He liked he put into it. Some little dry sticks and an empty coconut shell. And then he said whoa, chewed renew. Children cannot dance anymore. It is so hot here in this room, but children begged him to dance some more wolf yogurt up the door little bit. Then I can have is more breathe. I'll show you a new dance said the monkey. The children opened the door the monkey danced over to the door and out of the door away to the tree top that was the very last. They ever saw him. He moved to another part of the country after that experience when the man came home with fuel for the fire. The children did not dare tell him that the monkey escaped. They let him think that the sticks. And the coconut shell on. The pot was the monkey he built a big roaring fire under the pot and soon it was boiling merrily after the pot had boiled a while he called the children to come to supper with him the children, let him taste. I he fished a hard stick out of the pot and bit into it. This is not the Monkees leg. This is just a dry stick. He said as he made a ri- face, then he fished the empty coconut shell out of the pot. That is not the Monkees head. He said as he tasted it that is just an empty coconut shell he couldn't find a single trace of the monkey in that monkey Stu, and he never wished to make a monkey stew. For again. Would you think about that? Well that one oh see now. Okay. I gotta ask what did you think of the singing monkey? I loved him so much. The story. He's he starts to sing. And he's a very musical character. He's a these characters play instruments, and and he's a he's a musical kinda guy. And that's something that I kind of found in these stories music is a big part of it. Yeah. Uh-huh. Great. I love him so much, but music is a big part of their story right from the very at the very core. And so I didn't really go. With a Brazilian music theme for him a little more. No elvis. Yeah. That was that was a big part of it. I think I was channeling quote from Ernie Hudson's character from from Congo where he says right now every monkey in the jungle thinks he's Elvis Presley. Well, then if it's front that I mean. We know we love Michael Crichton's, though might as well, right? But yeah. So I I liked the monkey and I like his escape plan as well. So find another way around a problem through it. It's true. I mean, and it was I mean, it's it's it's strange that the animals are kind of anthropomorphic and can play guitar and talk, but people are okay with trained. Eat them a little strange that way. But I mean, it's I guess it's not really about that necessarily. Do you think that the trauma of someone trying to kill you? Because you're doing something that you love see you give that thing up is kind of rough because he like stopped playing guitar which he loved to do because it was putting his wife at risk. I like the crawled into a hole and he's gonna secretly play his guitar. I really want to. Yeah. He's he monkey he's going to. On the down low and a no one else knew and gets to hear his songs, but he gets to know that he seeing them does. And then he gets found. Poor monkey. It wasn't interesting way to kind of discuss eating animals rather than like, fruits, nuts and stuff. Yeah. I. I really like the monkey was he was very clever was a very lake fairytale element. I really liked this monkey I think so when I was a little kid. I really liked monkeys a lot. And I think I I hadn't spent a lot of time around monkeys. So this was the idealized monkey that. I really liked one that one kind of like curious George kind of that. I'm probably let them. Yeah. And he was the past. Let's be real. Yeah. Definitely a monkey that has all the clean lovable. Parts of monkey. None of the terrible horrifying awful. Wants a pet monkey leave. It leave it in the woods. Get a dog. The love you more anyway. Yeah. But he kinda reminded me a little bit of badger back in our job unease folktales vote a little bit. Yeah. I mean, he's captured and sitting there and like we'd alling his way out of getting eaten. I was very similar in that regard, little less, murderous. So that's good. Always a good thing. Usually a good thing. I mean, entertainment value, the murder is fun. I guess at the same time. I don't know. It was smart that he moved away after all of that happened though. I love it. Okay. Bye. And the knee like legit just left. Just just peace out of there. He was later move away from these problematic people. I I was a little sad of the kids were so scared that their dad that they couldn't tell him lake. Yes. Sorry. We let the monkey escape or sorry. We let the monkey out his crate. And well, this goes back to the the lesson that we kind of pulled out of one of our scary stories a couple of weeks ago. You look at the actions. Yeah, sure, that's bad. But the dishonesty the not telling other people about it. The the not taking advantage of those around you as a resource, that's where things really get out of control. I think number to something good. Yeah. If the kids had just said to their dad monkey escaped, then they could go catch some fish. And then they have a big dinner and everyone's happened. But at least you're nothing it didn't really hurt anything because the first time like that. He just ended up waiting. Longer that needed to wear the monkey was caught in that pit or whatever. And then the second time he ended up eating a stew of sticks. And coconuts, you know, but figured out pretty quickly that it wasn't the key. So I mean, nothing really bad happened per se, but at the same time, you know, there's something to be said about having courage. I do wish to take small small issue with the story, though, if someone serves me a hot bowl of monkeys to the first thing, I do is not going to be reach into it and pull out the bone and bite into it. Nobody into the boat. Soups, you don't bite into the skull part? You eat around it. That's the that's there for flavor to fair. They just started eating beef. What he's doing? Okay. Pass. I did take a different turn than I thought. It would just with the data the end being like, okay, whatever. And then he just kind of let go of of every eating a monkey again. That was interesting. I mean, it is good to let things go. Sometimes you're disappointed time. And again. Maybe I also have monkeys. Yeah. But I, you know, I also have a great deal of respect for any villain who actively tries to make soup out of his opponent fair the shredder threatened, it many many times tonight, I died on total soup, but the never followed through with it. Well, maybe he did in one or two, but not literally more figurative sets. But. To actually attempt to make soup of one's enemy that takes a certain certain level of villainy. I mean, it does but often see that's why he was the villain. Yeah. It was his goal and he failed. Anybody tried really hard? I mean like he wasn't. I don't know that he was even villain per se like a very tomatoes person. He I that's why I like referring to characters like him as an Tagore. It's over. Yeah. Just on this on the small scale spectrum. His he is the opposite of the monkey whatever the monkey is. He is he may not the bad guy. Really? But he is the tag nest of the story, absolutely. Because he's he's what's causing all the problems for the tag on which is a monkey so good. But yeah, it was a fun story. I liked I liked it being like, okay now, we don't eat monkeys. You know? That's the reason. Binded good enough. They're smart true. They're very smart greeters. So. I really do wish I could go to the zoo and watch monkeys play some guitars and saying to me that would be really I would watch that for day livestream that you know, if he great. If you've got a monkey that plays guitar SO acceptable. I think wasn't curious George and a he didn't have a tale. Right. Did not have a tail. Tale. That means he's not a monkey. Well. Okay. So okay with this one. You have to assume either. The narration is wrong or the air. She gives. He does look look like a monkey. Yes. Every every written instance of him. He is a monkey a different species. We don't know about that kind of like straddles that line kinda like make from the makes cat where they don't have tails. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe or or perhaps perhaps he he he lost it when he was younger in some unfortunate accident like the polar bear that sat on the ice. And. I don't know. It's it's it's curious curious carry us, Joe I like to think of him without a tail I feel like I can't even remember it's been so long. Hold on. Let me do it. Now. No, he doesn't. Curious George we we are live googling on the earliest, gentlemen, never never been done before in podcasts history. And I'll tell you. He doesn't have a tail pollen. Now. Wait, no. He does does he doesn't he doesn't. He doesn't. What is happening? See now, our podcast audience is screaming into it. 'cause they Google at the first the first citizen. We started talking about it. Yeah. He doesn't some illustration doesn't in the later. Okay. Most of what I'm seeing does not. So maybe it's a mental thing possible. Audible so back to resil- where you're going. Sorry. Okay. Let's talk about our next tail instead story. Our next hail. Another. Next one is called. How towed got his bruises. Oh, this one's cool. Okay. Here goes once upon a time ages and ages ago, the toad had smooth skin in those days. He was a great Romer. He could never be found in his own house. If anyone ever had a party. He was sure to go no matter how far away from home. It was held or how long it took to get there. One day the toad received an invitation to attend a party in the sky. You can never get to this party said his friend, the Armadillo, you don't know how slowly travel here upon the earth, wait and see whether or not I go to the party said the toad not far from the toads house. There lived a big black buzzard. No one liked the buzzard. He was very unpopular with all the birds and beasts the toad hopped over to the buzzards house. The buzzard was outside the door making music on his violin. Good morning friend buzzard said, the toad are you? Going to attend the party in the sky, the buzzer replied that he was planning to go. That is good said the toad may I have the pleasure of your company for the trip. The buzzard was delighted to have the towed seek his company. It was a new experience. Why I'm I'll be charmed to go to the party with you replied, the buzzard what time shall we start? We'll start at four o'clock said the toad come to my house, and we'll go from there. Be sure to bring your violin with you, promptly four o'clock. The buzzard arrived at the toads house. He had had his violent with him. Of course. Because the toted asked him to bring it. I'm not quite ready to go the toad called out. Just leave your violin there by the door and step inside. It will only take a minute to finish getting ready. The buzzard laid his violin carefully outside the door. And went inside the toads house, the toad jumped through the window and hid himself inside the violin, the buzzard waited and waited for the towed to get ready. But he did not hear a word from the toad. Finally, he got tired of. Waiting. He picked up his violin. And started off when he arrived at the party. He was a trifle late. But he explained how he had waited for the toad how foolish to wait a minute for the toad said his hosts how could the toad and get to a pot in the sky. We just asked him as a joke because he's such a great get about lay down your violin? And come to the feast the buzzard lay down his violin. And as soon as there was no one looking out hop the toad he was laughing from ear to ear. So they thought I would not come to the party. What a joke. How surprised they will be to see me here. He said there was nobody at the feast who was his gaze the toad when the buzzard asked how he arrived. He said I'll tell you some other day, then he went on eating and dancing. The buzzer. Did not have a very good time at the party. He decided he would go home early. He went away without saying goodbye to his hosts and without taking his violin with him at the end of the party. Toed hopped inside the violin. And waited and waited for the buzzer to take him home. Nobody picked up the violin and the toad began to be very much worried. He almost wished he had not come after a while. The falcon noticed the violin. That violin belongs to the buzzard. He must have forgotten to take it home. I'll carry it back for him. He said the falcon flew toward the earth with the violin. The toad shook about terribly inside the violin. He got very tired. The falcon got tired to. I'm not going to carry. This heavy old violin of the buzzards? Another minute said the falcon I was foolish to offer to carry it in the first place. The buzzard is no friend of mine, and he let the violin fall down down toward the earth that fell over little stones. Oh, little stones get out of my way, called the toad as he fell. The little stones. Had deaf ears though. They did not get out of the way when the. Owed crawled out of the wrecked violin he was so covered with bruises that he could hardly hop home. The buzzard never knew what became of his violin. A why the toad had lost his good looks to this very day. The toad shows has bruises and he is entirely cured of being a Romer. All right party, towed. Yes. Yeah. Party toe. It's so that he's a partier. I question. Why was he completely unfazed by getting an invite to a party in the sky? Like, how did he not understand initially? That was like a joke. No, see, I think that that may not have been too unusual for a gentleman of the toad social think I mean, they talked about like, oh, we thought it'd be funny or whatever. But I was I was asked not long ago if I could attend a big corporate event, and they said it's super formal you'll you'll have to wear tuxedo. Do you have a tuxedo? My response was it's not whether or not I have a tuxedo. That matters. It's which tuxedo will wear. Fair enough. And I kind of I see a little bit of myself in Mr. toad here in this particular version of the toad of he he likes to a very wide, social circle he nicer than he is. I usually am. I would imagine respect for. But I don't fit in a violin is. Well, no, that's true. I mean, very few people would I think I like the way that he over hears them making fun of him. And he's just like well, go to the party. Anyway, I mean, he was there technically. Yeah. Already like, what was he gonna do other than go the party, but he might as well have fun. And then kind of proves them wrong by being the wife of the party, which is cool. But honestly. Fricken buzzard. It was so sad for him. Like, he was he was just so happy that somebody wanted to be his friend and a party within like he was like pleased as punch, and then he gets essentially stood up by the towed, and then made fun of for no reason fun of for him. Like, he the buzzer already agreed to give the Toda run win. And they relate to him. So hard. Buzzard a feel you throughout this whole st-. The bus thing. Oh, man. Wake. I'm actually glad that he just left the toad there. He was like peace out. I'm not dealing with this crap anymore. I I definitely I felt like that buzzard one time. I was I was waiting for our Fred friend, Freddie. And I I was waiting in his house and he was nowhere to be seen. He was taking a nap upstairs. And I decided to start having a couple of drinks while we wait because we're going we're going to go to a music show, and we plan to have a couple of drinks and take a take a car there. And the problem is he wasn't there. So I'm starting my pre-game because what we have we have an event to get to. I've got things to do. And the only music I have are the MP threes on my phone at the time, which were which were collected works of UB forty God. I'm they're drinking by myself in Freddie's kitchen to red red wine. Freddie sends a text. And he said sorry, I fell asleep will be done in a little bit. And I sent a text that is meant to be don't worry about it. I'm just waiting in the kitchen. However at this time, I've had a couple of drinks. And I sent him is okay. We kitchen. That's it. You have to know this phrase lives in infamy in our friend group like an infamous. We constantly. It is one of our little resumes. We tell it to other all of the time. But I get what it is to be just like do come on ready to go. Come on the party is waiting. Why? Where is this frog and toad excuse me to get right? But like, but at the same time. Luckily, Freddie, wasn't like malevolently waiting for you to get tired and just leave without him. So he could hitch a ride on you. I guess the equivalent of that would be for Freddie to have stowed away in the trunk of my car. Just to show up expectedly, or knowing our friend FREDDY, what he would be even better is for him to still away in the back of an Uber. That was on the way to come pick me up. And then surprise me, we sucks he I think that may may have been his intention. I guess the problem here is that your friends, which he clearly was not with the buzzard. Yeah. I guess that's the big. Poor can't get over it. I'm so fat for. Buzzard is no friend of mine. Oh, I did think that it was nice of the falcon Takata actually try and help the buzzer doubt. But at first, of course, focused honorable creature, and it was the phone. Dick move to kind of just drop the violin from the sky. Yes, he is pragmatic as well. Fair. Get it. Like land and put it on the ground or something because he never got his he never got his island back. He. Nope. It's so sad. Sacrificed to the party God's right there. It is. But I mean, I guess the moral of the story would end up being like toad, he he reaped the consequences of his actions. And like if he hadn't been cagey, and he just actually I dunno asked someone for a ride to the party. This could have that would have gone over just fine. I feel like if there's a lesson to be taken from this. It's be yourself and don't go away. Yeah. Yeah. There we go. I don't wait for people perfect. No one's your friend. We've them alone. Sorry, you're cooler than everybody else. Whether you. Love love the people in your life. That are buzzers guys. They need you. If you know a buzzer, go give them a hug right now. That would be me. I mean, not really, but. Yeah. Essentially in some ways, we've all we've all been there. We've always the buzzard at one time or another. Yeah. Some people are more often than others. But all, but we all have definitely have that happened in some way or another. Okay, springtime is coming. I will make sure that you get invited to. For me. It's never I'm not really concerned about getting invited. Actually do. And it's fine. It's just more besides gentlemen. I'll have known to all of the people and put on the record Lindsey has just invited me to a part a D part. We're starting to campaign fast. I'm super excited about it. Actually. It's first campaign. I've been watching a ridiculous amount of critical role. And I just need to play. I feel like you should speak to the members of my other DNV groups before wanting me to join. Considering the people that we have lined up for our future campaign. Yeah. Basically what's happening here is they are all theater people except for me. I kinda them everything. I did was all backstage in costumes so theater. Jason. I'm definitely theater. Jason. Absolutely. You guys are all like one hundred percent performers very creative people. So Italy only 'cause we're not good at anything. Not. But it will be absolutely perfect for a campaign because that's exactly what we're doing. You know, we're role playing. So it's perfect for something like this. And that's why I think I'm the most excited because I say here watching critical role, and I'm like, these people are fun actors than I look at you guys and your fun actors. So it'll be great. I'll get exactly what I. So be ready for excerpts highlights from that. Ladies and gentlemen, maybe we'll regale you with what's happening on our patriots. We're going on an adventure. We're at least attempt to it'll be really fun. I think I think that's probably be offer us this week. That is it. Yeah. We only had a couple of stories, but I think the stage is now to. Forth into Brazil four for they were just short. But you know, it's it's different than when we have a half an hour long story like we did last week good just very long. So everyone's all set for our next episode. We'll go a little now knows we think we have coming for you next week. Yeah. We know we know that the fairytales were a little light hearted, and maybe a little younger in in audience intone actually because next week can is probably going to get a little bit arc a little bit. We're going to run the gamut of Brazil. Strong reading it's just a little harsh. I guess it'll make a lot more sense. Once you know what I'm talking about. But don't I mean, don't come in next week expecting it to be all shits and giggles. But also don't come in expecting it to be no shits found. This is folk law. Absolutely. Anyway. So let's wrap this up. As always you can find us on Instagram and Facebook at folklore on the rocks. You can find us on Twitter. Folklore? We've got pictures notes and sources on folklore and the rocks dot com lately, I've been starting to kind of put links to things that we mentioned in the show that are kind of random like we'll put curious George link there, something, you know. Oh, yeah. If you don't know curious, George go. We'll put. Find out if it really is Mandela effector, you know there. Let's see other stuff if anyone would like to hear some Brazilian heavy metal that I I've been listening to a lot of on GRA excellent Brazilian metal band the shutout of that. It'll be great. And and really listen for the signature rhythms that go into it. They incorporate a lot of kind of jungle sounds into into their their power metal. You gotta go to show you find that. So that's on our website down in the show notes folklore in the rocks dot com. So very happy to remember. We deal with patriot. Which we appreciate anything that you are willing to give if you don't want to commit to giving a certain dollar amount a month. You can also donate via PayPal. There's a button just on our website. If you want to do that. We also do have emerged shop, which is exciting. Hopefully, I'll the merch turns out. Okay. It's it's through threatless. I'm hoping that it prints out. Well in looks good. We'll see we'll see what happens. Hopefully, the quality is I have faith. I know what they're doing is what I'm going with let's kind of their livelihood. So this is not there for exactly. Once again, free stickers. If you write a review, and you send in a screen shot. And if if you don't mind, please rate us, leave us review on itunes. It's very helpful for helping other people find us. It's also really cool for us to to read those that this is something that both Lindsay. And I we put a lot of work into it. And it's something that's been really fun to do. And it's so cool to hear that anybody is actually liking it and out there. It's not even it's not even the positive side of it of how much everyone's like it. It's just that people include us in your day. That's such a cool thing, we're happy because we're just sitting here dotty, and essentially, you know, so we're Manatt necessarily there with you while you're listening to us. So it's nice to hear that. It's as that. It's actually happening somewhere. People take podcasts and they go about their their day with them. I listened to the mall. I bike around town. You know, some people listen to them at work. I think I I wonder if anyone actually listens to our podcast while hunting monsters now. Sure frigging hope they do that would be now if you give us a show. Yeah. If you if you are a professional or semi professional, monster hunter, just. And and bring us along on your adventures, tell us, we'll do like an extra segment with you. Or something. But yeah, just just tell your friends if you enjoy the show word of mouth is the most helpful thing that you can do for us. You know, there's there's podcast groups that you can recommend shows in the please do do. So if you like us recommend us on Twitter, and we'll probably re tweet you, you know, that kind of thing. But I think that's all that we have for you this time around for listening, and we're gonna see next Sunday Elsie next week by.

Brazil Little Brown Brazil lake America George Beetle Romer Lindsey Mesa Mestre Casaus Rama Shaw Cabana Royal palm tree Salt Lake North Pole Santa Rockies Kashasa Beatles
867: I Don't Want My Kids to be Crushed by Student Loans. Do You? by Michael Smith with Financial Finesse on College

Optimal Finance Daily

07:22 min | 2 years ago

867: I Don't Want My Kids to be Crushed by Student Loans. Do You? by Michael Smith with Financial Finesse on College

"This is optimal finance daily episode. Eight sixty seven I don't want my kids to be crushed by student loans. Do you by Michael Smith with financial finesse dot com and I'm Dan, your host and narrator bringing you some of the best blogs on personal finance in audio form. Hope you're having a great week so far before we get to the post, I want to thank credit repair dot com for their support. They are dedicated to helping you develop a healthier relationship with your credit removing questionable negative items is one of the fastest ways to increase your score and credit repair dot com will help you do that. They make rebuilding your credit as smooth as possible by using tools like mobile apps, Email, and text alerts, and more. And they understand that credit scores are not just a number. It's a lifestyle. This is something we hear about on this show frequently and recently, in fact, so let credit repair dot com help you rewrite your credit story head over to the link in our show notes to sign up today for a free fifteen minute credit analysis. Now, let's get right to our post as we start, optimizing your life. I don't want my kids to be crushed by student loans. Do you by Michael Smith with financial finesse dot com? I read this article titled this bright eyed young man was utterly. Demolished by student loans about can you guess a guy who has experienced significant financial personal and emotional hardship, because of the financial responsibility that he took on with significant student loan debt. I wish this were an isolated incident. But based on some meetings, I've had with young people recently, I'd be lying if I said, this isn't becoming increasingly more common, maybe not to the extreme that Nick is experiencing, but there is a growing number of young people who may not be finished with paying off student loans until they are closer to social security than college. What can be done about this problem? What can you do? If you're a student thinking about college or a parent of a child considering college. There are a lot of reasons for the massive explosion of student loan debt in this country. And I won't make this blog about how I'd fixed the broader societal and legislative problem, although I do have a few ideas. So congress if you're reading, but there are things that can be done at the individual level that can minimize the long-term damn. Image that student loans can create in one's budget read the article, and you'll see the most extreme case I've ever seen of student loans playing a central role in the financial difficulties of a person. The reason there's an article about him. And he's part of a documentary about student loans is that he's an outlier his situation is extreme while we can learn from extreme cases. I think we can learn more from people who are becoming the new normal over the past few months. I've seen a lot of people who have graduated from college within the last ten years and have student loan debt as a big item in their budget. It's becoming increasingly common for me to see people who are paying more each month in student loan payments than they are for rent. It is very common for graduates to share apartment or a house with multiple friends to have an affordable rent, so they can pay back their loans. Frugality, for these people is required because of the enormous monthly financial burden of student loans. Most of them will be paying student loan payments, well into their forties that are in the neighborhood of what I paid for my first mortgage. How will they buy a house how? Will they save for retirement, if they have kids, how will they save for those expenses? The answers are troubling, if there are lessons to be learned. I want to learn them. I have three kids who are rapidly approaching college age. I swear it feels like they were born just yesterday. But two of them are teenagers. Now how can they not be in the position of the people that I'm seeing far too often? Now here's my plan and some topics that I have discussed or will in the future with my kids one. Save save save. I'm contributing as much as I can without being detrimental to my retirement to five twenty nine plans, having a pool of funds for education expenses is an important part of my plan. Will it be enough? Probably not. So there needs to be other parts of the plan. An online calculator can help you see if you're saving enough to make a well, informed school selection. There are some parents who want their children to go to the school of their choice. Regardless of cost. I am not one of those parents sure looking at Pepperdine or Stanford or Yale or do. Is nice, but is it realistic? I there are the hurdles of getting accepted, then the cost is a major issue is there a benefit for paying sixty thousand dollars per year that you can't get by paying five to ten thousand this is the conversation. I have had and we'll have again with my daughter. She wants to be a teacher for starting salary will be the same, regardless of the college name on her diploma. So why overpay now if there's not going to be a tangible benefit later? This all comes down to the choice of school public versus private in state versus out of state. What about community college for the first two years, these are all decision points that can reduce the financial burden now and not drag down a young graduates financial life for decades after graduation. Three work. I met someone recently who decided to work for a few years before entering college. She's working at an entry level job now in his taking one or two classes, perso- Mestre at a local college. The good news for her. Her company has tuition reimbursement plan. She was unsure about what she wanted to do with her life. She had no true career path upon graduation. So instead of starting a career, she got a job and his living at home with her parents, and saving most of our income, she figures that after two years, she will have earned one year's worth of college credits and will have saved enough money to pay for a year, or more her tuition reimbursement program is important, and she is learning about potential career path as within her company, she is taking a nontraditional path, but it is working for her. If my sons don't have a solid grasp on what they like to do as a career when they're a little older. We may discuss this option. When I talked to the young graduates, who come in to talk to me about the level of financial stress that their student loans are creating a part of me can't help, but think of my own kids. I don't want them to talk to a financial planner about how stressed they are within a few years of graduation. I'm having conversations like that far too frequently right now. You just listened to the post titled? I don't want my kids to be crushed by student loans. Do you by Michael Smith with financial finesse dot com? And thank you again to credit repair dot com. You can get a free fifteen minute credit analysis with the Lincoln our show notes credit repair dot com. Makes it easy to stay connected to your credit repair journey and help reach the goals. You've set. And they do it through a personal online dashboard. Credit monitoring Email and text alerts and other easy to use tools that make rebuilding your credit as smooth as possible. They analyze your credit reports and work with you to identify questionable negative items. Hurting your score. Then they built a custom game plan based on your specific situation. Previous members have seen an average forty point trans union credit score gained during only four months membership. So let credit repair dot com. Help you rewrite your credit story head over to the Lincoln our show notes to sign up today for a free fifteen minute credit analysis and thank you to credit repair dot com for sponsoring this podcast and that'll do it for another addition of optimal finance daily. Hope you have a great rest of your day. Thanks so much for being here, of course. And i'll. See you back here tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.

Michael Smith Dan perso- Mestre Nick Stanford Yale fifteen minute two years sixty thousand dollars four months ten years one year
186|Insights: What Is Rest?

Remove the Guesswork: Health, Fitness and Wellbeing for Busy Professionals

11:00 min | 1 year ago

186|Insights: What Is Rest?

"I'm Leon Spencer. Founder Body Show Formats Limited bestselling author ted speaker. And your host this is removed guesswork. podcast the show interview influential people in the health fitness and wellbeing space to bring you the latest ideas on how to optimize your mind body and Welby Chevy Sports. You buy my company forty show performance. We create total solutions to optimize your health by focusing on sleep mental health energy body composition digestion gestion fitness. We weren't busy professionals on a one-to-one basis for six or twelve months using the latest science and technology and what is your also work with businesses want to create eight to culture of energy vitality performance a position wellbeing this competitive advantage find out more at show formats dot com and enjoy the show. Happy New Year while Cook to the first episode of the podcast had been Mason Christmas. ABRY era the Dow excited to see what decade has in store for you. I said Yeah. We've got a few personal aspirations relations number professional professional goals but yeah really really new decade and one of the important things I think to factory Gio plants for for twenty twenty and beyond and what is the importance of rest and other spoke of many times on this podcast I think most of US undercover were not getting enough restaurant prioritizing arrest or appreciating as lead improvement par for wellbeing. So this is what they stole inside observes could be about. Today I've had quantitive quantitive arrests of Christmas bright about Christmases for many of us. It's a good week ten days even two soft on Charter Day Book Kentucky. What Day and a lot of people don't go away so essentially what you have is this too? We say we are actually got free time. But you're able to potter around. The House May GIF gardens time of year that maybe catch up friends just mutual knock an option along maybe if a big over an expense on for you and your family. So that's why absent enough about this break. It's just having a doubt could change should be a home away from confined to business normal life antidote services. Pretty much the same thing so there's no favorable while working is other people now is really quite article. Nothing so nothing. Lucia pulled the plug immerse. The people have just gone so it's been incredible so IPAD call of rest and that sort of a good episode so I put up with is to talk to you about the importance of restaurant recovery. Now I have if I say talked about this a lot before I think most of the signs that recovery at Restaura- important the twist on a push on this is the it isn't just restaurant coverage of generic sense but actually west recovery take in many different forms and this is what I could get a little more interesting so often people think of rest as bedrest opening your feet up from the sofa remaining a bill it also had the remote in the other breeding periods that is a form of representative dump. Sufficient exercise has sufficient lows and strain on the body. Then great maybe putting field from watching a video shows about saying arrested coming many other forms while there is activists which is perhaps taking a walk for rest. It can be medicine for many people as well be hoagies. I've mentioned the principle of powerfulness Before and if you haven't heard me speak you'll having to offer Sonapur reconnecting with hope. Your cash in that used to really the enjoy might be gardening. It might be running. It might be playing guitar. QB Any one of those things or anything else but you've just founded the convergent pressures woken high removed. Any time on Whitsun head space. You've got to focus on that thing is already doing any will now. Rest is also got reconnecting with that thing and it's not putting time in the diary where it's five or ten inches off an hour week wherever you could manage to stall with just to stop doing nothing again. It's very restful for the mind. It's very restful for the body and agreed to make a huge difference while wellbeing another under appreciated aspect. I took drowsy. Yeah now see. It was all tournament and I think in lives. We may feel let we have dateable always dancing to someone else's soon with a lot of work on family life for the rhythms of your household we can seize back some of that alternate just prioritizing things that we love in a very positive important to us and getting back into the week. It can't be if you think about Halloween. You might spend the seizure alcohol which is something that lost people are talking about at the medicine and you might to spend maybe two three hours a week when you wake company back to this good as you do normally and you do this. You feel great mentally physically. You could accomplish great nephew. Three hundred Utah practice a week. You better be quite accomplished registered. A short period of time. Three exercise is huge. I mean that's what I did too high against the excise three hours a week. A Free House practice on anything is quite significant. All three hours of doing something. That's more productive productive. There's more active rest so thinking about way you could fit nothing in it just making up to come back to the hopefulness. I think about those things what what is east allow. Can you make time to do that stuff. Because that will set his certain Hudson covering passions uh-huh as well things you passionate about that might be connected with all the people thus rest it might be doing something for something bigger than you contributing into a charity or fundraising. In some way. In a sense that can be full meditation things that have meditative tissue. She practices ten minutes in the car. But I've seen people doing lots and lots of different ways that is that it is pure sense ready. That's very very good for investing in the body and lower your heart rates increasing harake variability around your resting heart rates and pushing the the Paris invested another system in other words Western digest functions can operate really wealth and body. So anything like that. Anything you can think already using using left again isn't sympathetic dominant hard-charging type stuff like marathon running or obstacles racing something this restful few items of your body is necessarily being. That's the main point of this. It isn't necessarily about the inactive but risk can be activists well and I can just figure out reconnecting with hobbies passions and things that relax your mind to make you feel connected to the wild house aware of of Work Ho. Repeat the whole time and when you do restaurant cover you get those mental physiological physical gains the improve improve the system that makes us stronger of resilience adult simply happy human beings. But that's what the rest is all about so the takeaway away from this to think about what it is. You Find Restivo open up your mind to what that thing could be and not just think about being an actual ally Dal or sitting up the television for example and then make some time no diary no matter how small target is to make sure it happens stop to build habits and when you die along yet get connected to Howie her makes you feel do you feel passionately karatnycy. Relax while you're doing you feel happier. Haven't touched the thing that that's what I would suggest you to try again. I'm kitchen this concept. Also building will rest and recovery. I of course the ultimate Mestre Recovery Greeley Council me sleep so suggested a takeaway short insights episode if you WanNa find content not sleep gone through our website which is don't www body shots performance dot com and the trump my menu ball. He could come back. They'll be such a very tough type sleep into that such fine. It will return for you loads into content blocks blocks podcasts or about sleep seeing a whole ton of information on safe just by somebody should focus dot com. And if you find out what you will help find cures then you can assemble test is free at the indicates takes about three or four minutes to do you. Also twenty four questions are we would send to you highly personalized report packed full of useful content. Relevant to your your answers i. I'd you cut the auction as well to discovery session on my team talking about your particular situation so that would be the main takeaway. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I said Lisa rating and reviewing. And so if you have those already. They were really to get free advertising. So apple forecast the show to our people. The great benefit from an ultimate you can give us as what feedback to share the episode so many think benefit repayment firmness short lease in thoughts episodes of the show that pumps you to the point so that they should make fairly easy listening. So that's it for me. We're back on usual schedule where you'll have an interview. Steve Episode every Wednesday for Socratic upset. Coming up in such your or wherever you see costs every single Saturday before. Okay interested in finding out. What your health Q- It's jump on our website? WWW HE W dot body shots performance dot com and click on. Take the test. It'll take you to a short two to three minutes test. And at the end of that you'll get a school called and a free free thirty nine page report based on signals sleep mental health energy body composition digestion and fitness. And if you've enjoyed this episode please please think of someone who could really benefit from the content and hit that share button and send it across. And of course don't forget to subscribe leaves a rating and review. Thank you very much for listening.

Leon Spencer US Welby Chevy Sports Dow Steve Episode Gio Founder Mason Christmas Sonapur ted speaker Mestre Recovery Greeley Counci Whitsun Lucia Kentucky WWW Work Ho representative
S2E3: DPH Games "Cache Me if You Can"

Geocache Adventures Podcast

49:50 min | 3 months ago

S2E3: DPH Games "Cache Me if You Can"

"Welcome geocaching adventures with me shadow. Dragon one where. I discussed geocaching in my adventures with. This interview was recorded using zoom and may sound different than other podcasts audio. Hello everybody shadow dragon one. Amy here Welcome to geocaching adventures. I had with me. Dan fellow gio cashier angelique designer at e. p. h. Gangs accompany that created geocaching game. Thank you so much joining us. Thanks thanks for having me first of all let me ask you. How did you get started. Geocaching caching was two thousand seven and got one of those christmas cards from a friend of mine with a letter and how their family was doing value to the kids and the wife had written and she mentioned her husband and it just said. Charlie started geocaching. Look it up and like list. Sounds cool so started. Geocaching in like january two thousand eight or seven which now in upstate new york which was really you know if you can take it through that freezing all these frozen ashes. It was much more enjoyable in the spring and summer. But that's gonna start down the road. That's a neat. Little twist christmas card led to a hobby. So what can you've been cashing since about two thousand eighteen thousand seven what kind of stats do you have currently well. I had to change my profile back in the day. It's not a probably around seven embarrassed probably up seven hundred geocaches just because I forget to record a lot of them in my bunch then once. I started the company with geocaching game in twenty thirteen. It actually made it really hard to gio cash. Because i was traveling around to geocaching events. But i'm evanger boost the whole time. I'm not going out and getting catches so But kind of a funny story. My old age is i was out hiking this summer. And i'm like wow. There's there's a cash nearby elbow get it. I'm like man. This looks familiar hillier and i find the cash. Go back to log. It and i found five years ago. A number so not not a new cash. I've never done one of the power trails goose numbers and stuff but So probably i might actually be like around thousand or so Not a ton for this amount of time. But i appropriate my first five hundred in the first three years in this whole geocaching gains in gotten away. Darren life get in the way of things. So that's how that steps the geocaching history okay. So let's talk about deep games. Does that stand for anything dp. H it does. It's it's daniel. Peter hunziker search is my sort of my full name. Although i don't actually have a middle name that's a whole other story we don't need to get into so it's just the abbreviation But I do have a guy that helps me a lot going to conventions in. His name is patrick. And so people are like who's the h we we've met dan. We've met hair-trigger so with travel around with his. His name is age. You'll have to find a henry or howard. Gary that's funny so you said you started dp thousand thirteen. What inspired you to do that so earlier. That year i Introduced a friend of mine geocaching and he went nuts. He was just going every night after work and it was crazy. So as kids wanted to have it geocaching theme birthday party and january again upstate new york. There's no way to hide stuff in his backyard because the tracks in the snow and Then we thought well just by geocaching board game and There wasn't one so kind of made this up brought to the party knowing there was geocaches but they play the game as it was at the time and They said you should do something with this. And that led to the starting of the company and in the game as it is now would be the cash me if you can work in correct correct okay. So that's that's your first game. Essentially that launched everything yes. That's that's pretty neat. So can you tell us about the board game. Give us a brief overview for anybody who's not familiar with it. Sure it's it's in its fourth printing. So there's been some modifications changes to it. it comes in an animal can looking box has three game boards in it. One is a town board than the other two were woods with trail. And you put these tiles down out in the woods in the town. You can get equipment You can go geocaching mega then. Get south cards out. In the woods there's hazards there's caches of Of different types so to get traditional cash you just need to find it but like to get a night cash. You have to have a flashlight. So it's not getting the right equipment of the write caching you can are cashing equipment and you can You know use maps and stuff to sort of peak at tiles out in the woods. It's a two four player game. Although we are working in a actually probably eighty percent done on a solo rule. Set for it so you can play against a jio cashiers but it's it's basically a race to who can collect the most points i did. Forget there's gio coins in there and they all have a mission that once if you can achieve the mission of the joke on you get additional points. That's pretty cool. What's the recommended. Age range for players. Snapper eight now. I would say eight for crazy amazon. Legal reasons it's gonna say twelve but but the The eight eight is is okay ten. Yeah it's usually. It's the the cancer pretty good with picking it up and running with it sometimes. It's it should say under sixty and all this stuff sometimes have a harder time okay. So it's the official rating is a little bit older but little bit younger. Kids may be just fine with yeah. I don't know that go to six. You do again. it's the age stuff is tough. 'cause there's some kids that mestre way smarter than me But doesn't awesome reading. You have you have event cards that you keep secret so it's not super high level reading but you have to be able to. you know. Read to save this card and use it in the situation ray. A he said. Are you know possibly a bit younger with help. It sounds like yeah. We've had people do that Geocaching events game nights that have gone to like kit will sell their parents. He plays team in that. That definitely you know has worked okay. That's good to know. So you mentioned the board came came about as the idea for the birthday party. But so how do you go from you. You have this idea. And you've made a prototype to actually selling games to people a whole as pillow very big question. It is Because that game that we brought to the hardy was really just the initial idea and then that friend of mine. There was actually a local gaming convention in his town. He's like you gotta get up here. We went there and we met. Some people were very helpful in kind of brought it more into modern version. Made some changes to make that improve. Were able to go out and start actually testing it at gaming convention so we win for months playing the game with non geocaches cash resolve the place which was kind of funny they were. They were who they were They were into it. They had feedback and One of my favorite stories is once we finally produced it in. There's this young couple in love board games and they bought the board game and then they sent me a picture week later them getting their first yo cash because they never been geocaching so I worked in office where we all rent. Desks insults A think tank And so i had some business health there. We started a corporation To get some shareholders and so did some financing Started learning what to do along the way. Terms of graphic design artscience finding a manufacturer and And that as i've we've produced more games we've made more connections and that's much more streamlined So it's a lot of testing a of You know playing with different groups of people in then it's compiling all of getting getting the are getting the graphic design getting the rules Altogether in Send it off The last one we re social refunded it up on her so we had some people back the game ahead of time and help pay for the fourth edition the fourth edition. I should mention ads in Battery life and Health so before. You run into a prickly bush me. Just go to the hospital now you lose a couple of health. Heart tokens in when she was four. Harto 'cause you to the hospital and every time you reveal a cashier you lower your battery life. And then there's a there's a couple of advanced internet super vents but advanced that rules where where there's terrain and cash difficulty levels so you can sign difficulty levels to the to the caches okay. So the players assigned the difficulty levels your opponents than the upon us. It's it's kind of its wealth. It's more than two players. It's like a bidding system. Whoever bids highest difficulty level that cash becomes that you have to roll based basically. You're rolling a ten sided die and the result has to be higher than the combined Terrain difficulty and cash So if it's three terrain for difficulty cash after all mater higher as i'm a signing net difficulties with cash your after. If you don't get it. I can try to come and get cash later but if i've made it very difficult it's going to be very difficult for to so it's an interesting little game within the game. That's the advanced rules for people to play the few times. That's neat. sounds interesting so it challenges not just the person creating not just the opponent but even the person creating the difficulty. Yes okay. that's cool. So i saw on your website. You guys have zombie apocalypse expansion pack. Yes we do so sounds amazing to start with well. How that started was actually at that birthday party. One of the other wise guy. Gordon is all you need a zombie extension pick. I'm like all every game. Unless i can come up with something different. I'm not going to do just zombie extension pack however what happened was this is different in that basic. Every geocaching gets it and they laugh is game. That essentially doesn't your goal is the same as to go get geocaches is set except now you're just doing it during zombie apocalypse electric in the way. So you're not really hunting zombies. You're not giving you have to trust it. You defend yourself against him and all that kind of stuff and if you do fall prey to one of his nbc you become one but as zombie the will to geocaches strong and so you continue to go cash as zombie eleven. Yes it's it's kind of kind of wild but We did at one point. Had a superhero gene geocaching stanchion and it was designed that you could actually get crazy but you can combine. You can do superhero geocaching during zombie apocalypse. Which geocaching started this sort of fade. Away at points was so much going on but it was and for me. That would be quite the combination. Samis geocaching i mean. The terror was the players. Were all superheroes and so. If one of the superheroes turned a zombie it was a little kid. Ability to fly and your zombie. It was a little terrifying. Could imagine little limited run of those and they're there when you do that kind of thing. It's pretty expensive to produce and you know what we had to charge for. What you were getting. Just didn't feel like you know you kind of have an idea when you're buying a game how much you're gonna pay for What components and we were basically breaking even are losing money every time we sold one. So there's a number of people that have that out there but I should look online either going for some ridiculous amount. 'cause they're out of print especially these days speaking of these days being different. How has co bid in the pandemic affected you guys. Because you've mentioned before that you go to events. And i'm guessing that has limited the events options yeah Basically one of our major streams of of making money as conventions So geocaching events and borgen conventions and for obvious reasons. None of those happened this year You know so. It's not been great For example gen con in indianapolis is a game convention as about seventy thousand people a day. So we'll probably see a few thousand people coming by our booth and whatever and so they did it on this year. We interacted with twenty eight people. So if a drop off you know but it's but it's fortunately there's a thing called tabletop simulator. So what's ended up happening is. We're spending a lot of time in development I've played testers. That are local here at upstate. New york and then. I had some another group does now away way and then another group. It's a few hours away at harrisburg because now we're doing this all online intermixed and get to meet each other. It's kind of interesting. But the good thing is the online thing is just not as satisfying and so when we are able to get together again. It's just sitting around the table. Clean board games so much better. Yeah definitely online. Games are are great to have available especially right now when you can't really get together in a lot of places but yeah there's something about just play in person that it's just so much better right. It's it's the main reason i'm doing this is to allow the people you meet in In sit around and just have fun with a group of people just to you know so. I kind of mentioned development of geocaching game. We are at conventions playing with people. And no they don't not gio coin is and they don't know they can invent target says you've been stopped by the police. They're like Okay but they don't chuckle. 'cause they don't quite get you know that's that's never happened to them. And so when we were finally able to bring it to gio cashiers. It was kinda crazy. Latch is it's just like are you laughing and saying oh my guy. This is all the stuff that happens to me. You know and It's just that interaction is what drives motivity. So it's been a long year for us but along for a lot of people so i'm not complaining. I know as of right now. There is a believe it's called. Moga the geocaching events in kentucky for next memorial day. Twenty twenty one their plans for you guys to be at that event so that's been the seam of the year is it's been impossible to plan anything i i probably personally will not attend large gathering until i have a vaccine and i'm pretty low on the list. So maybe yeah. It's it's kind of crazy. My mom and i were sheep. Mike got my mom introduced into geocaching and she super excited and i showed her the events. Because it's about four hours from us. She was really wants to go with me but at the same time. We're like well with kobe. Who knows what we're going to actually be able to do. Or if they were actually able to have the yvette in the end. But i'm excited when they get going but We typically have attended allegheny start state party midwest gio bash out by west to toledo ohio. Which is crazy three day. one the New jersey and selenium forgetting the names of them that said Metro go bash down in jersey. Berkshire ended a couple years ago. So that's not going on In if like moga has Wondered up into athens. Ohio on your silly went to that and then geeta woodstock depending on where that lands. I'm assuming they're Again i i don't know if that's going to happen and i'm like i'm going like one week at a time. I can't. i can't blame you for that. It's just insane year. That i don't think has gone the way anybody into stated ever. So do you remember. What the first geocaching event was. That you took the board game too would have been Allegany state park events. Which is a mango know about six hundred people. It's western new york in. They had like Look this chinese auction where you put your tickets in bags for things right to win a raffle drawing near you know the band sitting around the table next to the items until you put your buy tickets and you put them in the things that you wanted that we we don't eat in a game in peguis was full and the problem. Was you know we sold some games. But i had to learn but we missed out on a lot of sales because people were like well. If i win it and then the was the last thing in. Everyone went home. And it's like we're not doing it again. You know apple up You know gift certificates for something else. But it's human nature. I mean you're going to get one for free. Why would you. Why would you buy it. So we re. We learned our first year. We still sold a fair number but it was kind of like. oh yeah. We shouldn't do that again as long as you learn from it right. That's the important parts. So you guys also have a card game version. Yes and is it the same goal to get the most number of points or is it. A different goal is what happens is it's style game was color. Press your luck. Aims you keep flipping cards off the deck If you get to hazard you bust and you lose all the cars net lineup What you're trying to do is get coordinates coordinates card along with gio cash types of geocaches in summer again traditional cashes which you can injure turn it anytime in collect but you know there's two out there and there's one hazard maybe i should just stop and collect the now but maybe it could one more card and that's the pressure less luck aspect if that card is a hazard than you boston. You don't get any of those caches also your turn by collecting a piece of equipment. So there's things like flashlights in jackets and stuff and you go through the deck three times in so in that same situation where you have a hazard l. a. accordance card in a couple of cash and you flip the next card in its precursor bushes in normally would blast have gloves if you have the heavy gloves that you won't bust you just discarded. Hard seventy equipment helps with the hazards. Yes in so you. Gather up a lot of equipment early on or do you collect caches. And so it's a pretty easy game. Play place pretty fast. But there's there's a a fair amount to it. There's one card in the deck Bear pair comes out. You automatically bust could see bears and the third time through the deck barracuda out the game ends. There's a couple of other little twists in equipment and stuff in there. But that's that's the core of it that. How long does it take the place. It was a pretty quick play. So we in fifteen fifty nece yes we brought out. That was that was berkshire now. What i can't remember which. I just remember getting an email later from this. A friend of mine through geocaching but thanks a lot. We stay up till three. I'm playing stupid cartoon or that's your comparatively. How long does the board game typically take so to player is about a half hour in four players about an hour. The more players takes a little longer back. There's a twist and turns in. It's kind of funny. Because of it was cash the line played it did a live virtual play and was online so it took longer. Because i got to tell you what i'm doing. One person at the board in front of everyone had cameras. You know. I think one touring canada australia anyway. So if they start going through. They're going through pretty quickly in it. Looks like someone's going to win because you play the fifteen points in. I think she was at twelve or something and they said well. Let's play eighteen it longer. It will happen to somebody. Played a card where she lost points. It would like another. It's not. It wasn't designed to do that so i think it took them like an hour and a half almost two hours to play because little extension they do. Everything spun differently. They were like oh just going. So smoothly hazards come out and stuff so normally. It's about an hour for four players. It's about an hour game for the card game. is that also two to four players. Or what's the player range on that. One as unfinished for so it is too before i mean you could probably try it with five. Just might not be enough cards to do that. so and actually there's a again we on the solo set of rules for that fit people order from us. We attach the solar set in but final final fully tested. So you guys have quite a few different kinds of games here looking at your website. You've got an inca empire. You've got psychological warfare. You've got matt sad. But necessary cycle of violent predatory behavior. You have quite a variety of four games here. So i gotta ask you which one of all of your games is your favorite. It really really depends on what you're in the mood for. So because i play inaugural euro play these conventions quite a bit. The gate of rela- is Social deduction game so that means the group of is trying to achieve a goal but hidden amongst the group is a few people. Don't want us to and they're trying to subvert and you don't know who they are so i probably played affliction about thirteen to fourteen hundred times soon. You play in that game. it's still very. I still see things happen in that one minutes very strategic game. It's about the salem witch trials. It's historically accurate. But with gator lay. There's just the social interaction is is really what it's about because i'm pretty sure you're a cultist and that's it but i'm not in all the things call of the same things. Investigators will say in so Conventions with new groups of people. I would say gay is probably let the favorite one But that's i really have a hard time saying favorites We had origins in columbus ohio. When you're with so many people descend upon our booth that we had four people playing geocaching game and one of them is a guy who was a big time game or a big time gio cashier and he already again. I don't know he's. I think that year week if you played so many games you're getting buttons in stuff. And so he went to collect kelly's buttons so he's he came to So he ends up. We didn't have enough people. He ends up teaching the game. Everyone else for mike thank you. Because he knew he knew in an outhouse. Play it so There's lots of great fun convention stories and But yeah favorite is tough because it has more to do with like how many thousands of times i've played point in time and then you play quite a few four games a quite a bit more often been the average player would just because of all your conventions and events you take them too. Yeah yeah. I'm assuming over some people that play a lot can be run from money there. And especially with the panic. What a great way to be able to still do something with geocaching. If you're an area where you can't really go out and cash is to have a board game or card game option. So when i when. I came across your website. I actually was doing some research for another episode about winner cashing and i was looking for some geocaching related alternatives for people. Like me who do not like to go out in the cold and came across your board game in another blog article. And i thought what a great idea to be able to geo cash without having to go out into the cold actually. Gop yeah Designed for the first year we the the midwest gio bash. There's this huge airport hangar. They have vendors and there's a bunch of like table set which shares in the beginning. We don't know why people would do this but they would come up and say why would i buy a board game about a game. You know like well. I don't know. But if i can sell to one percent of all the geocaches it's still sixty thousand games. I'll take it what happened in this about one o'clock this unbelievable torrential downpour happen. I mean it was. I really seen anything quite like it. So everyone came running into the building in it was going to go on for an hour to so we couldn't swipe the credit card thing fast enough young people are buying the game then going out and playing it and then people were watching playing it becoming buying the game and so i wanted to go to the first couple of people. Like i don't know why unite geocaching rate time so amid last Setup that we can actually before the vending area opens run a few activities in people. Play the games. And that's really what sells it. Is you know want once you played it and see what it's like in how much it's like it simulates. It's not the same. Obviously geocaching but it simulates a lot of the experiences and there's some devious things people can do and i have some stories but i thought were sweet innocent Geocaches in some pretty nasty things turned out the head of dark side them loved it. They just giggled. That's fun it also. Seems like a great way to introduce people to kind of the idea of geocaching said. It is different than a geocaching but it has a lot of same aspects. You did mention the one couple but your game. And then when out geocaching because of it do you get a lot of stories like that from the events early on more than now because what happened is we were going to boarding conventions in all. We had was the geocaching game. So people like. what's this. What's this and then. We came out with psych warfare. So that sort splits in half and then cats and we clinton thursday than affliction and sunau is the ten whatever yet your nine nine games It's pretty much geocaches. Spot the game. Now wanna play it Kind of what happens. So we haven't had that experience as much the play starting out. It used to happen a fair amount snake. The to know that your game helped introduce some people to the hobby and then i like in my house i am i have. Go casher my husband is not. He humor me sometimes introduced. My mom to my sister doesn't do it. But i could get them to sit down. Well grant during non pandemic times we would. We have thought weekly family dinners every week or every other week and a lot of times. We playing games. I could definitely get them to sit down and play at. Least try at once and play geocaching board game with me where i may not able to convince them to go out to say there like i said the there are some differences in the fourth edition in where they came from is from all the other games things i learned about in in developing the other games from From the first edition the fourth. So things like the equipment deck. You don't just draw target random but you you have the deck where you can draw the top card but there are three cards face up because when you go shopping you choose what you want now. Maybe they don't have the item you want so then you can go random and take one off the top of the deck but just little things like that where you have a little more agency in how the game is played in how it goes. Do you have any new edition of it. Coming out is the is the fourth edition Pretty recent or has a fourth edition came out last fall. I believe the ones in the work as of right now not a pretty big revamp and in the sense that we went through the rules and redid. The rules made them. That's been gradually happening. But the first edition. I taught people read words in it was just like a the rule book was just basically words so now it's much more graphical with you know this is. This is how you move the that kind of stuff. So i think and then sometimes questions would come up. And as a result of that we could see For example a an amazing one that went through all the testing and everything and no one ever read this this way the tiles on the board some of them are one time thing so you hit it in any remove it the physical features like pirker bushes in cliffs and stuff. They stay for the duration of the game. But you might have something like taking event carton at the bottom of tile. It said replace when reveal in meaning replace it with another tile but we had a couple of people take it as re place it on. The board has announced says removed from play. Just you know not to but those little things happen. Have you had a pretty good response to the the changes in this latest edition. Yeah And it's hard because kovin started so we didn't get we would probably have a lot of times it convention people come up to us and tell us their experience whereas sit down and email someone you know it's a it's a bigger ask so but we have heard and people are pretty excited about the people already have older versions of the gamer. You know really excited. And i've had a couple of people saying they really liked to changes. It does add a little more depth In a little take gets rid of some of the a little bit of the lucky nece that would happen for some other players. Pack you gotta watch your battery life. You can't just be wondering around the woods than real life as well as your game. Apparently a little bit. Do you have any advice for anybody who may be thinking about creating your own board game play. Lots of games play lots of different games. There's so much that happened in the gaining world in the last ten fifteen years. It's you know it's not monopoly anymore. In that's one is you need to display a lotta different games to see what things are out there that you like and in how they work Then it's get something together it doesn't have to be pretty And start playing it with other family members and friends and then once you get to a point where you think will. I have something here. You might wanna use some clip art. You're not breaking any laws on. You're not selling it at that point any. Go out to the local game store when we can do that. Tough you can try putting putting it up on tabletops simulator. Getting people get people. Don't notice it because your friends and families people don't want be nice and you do need tough critics because you wanna find the things that are wrong with it before you send it out to the general public alike you know about it. Here's the problem you know. And so and then there's people like there's board game geek. A lot of games are rated in geocaching. game is on there and it and it has Pretty good ratings and but there's just like one guy who clearly hasn't played the game or bought the gain just heard about it and he gave it a two out of ten and said wandering around the woods looking for geocache Geocaches is like the opposite of geocaching. Like glad he made the comment because unlike what exactly what she she is. So i don't i don't think he's ever played it. He's looked at it and said this you know and you're going to have those people and it's fine because there's plenty of eight thousand nine hundred ten but it's you gotta and i tell that story just because you try to produce the game that's gonna happen and you just have to have tough skin about it laugh at often night. You know i kinda. It's you can't make a game that's for everybody and You do the best you can. But yeah i get in front of people don't know intestinal out. That's kinda wild that he made that comment because the sooner we said that my first thought is. That's exactly what unless you just doing parking grabs. That's exactly what it is. You wonder around in the woods looking for her he could have just gone on and put to attend not made a comment and that would hurt a lot more because being there think people reading go. Yeah i don't think he's putting this so proves that we didn't rig all ratings to so that's true but yeah it's it's kind of funny anyway. Anybody that's interested in buying the cash me if you can work game card game or any of your other games. What is the best place to buy that. You mentioned amazon. But then they're also available studio your dp website correct yes dot com animal ship amount right away now. The card games only through a website because we make that locally. It's we can't wholesale. It's too expensive to do that. So we sell through our website On ebay and at c. n. z. Ebay can't remember. Cnc bargains is one of those two but they're also an amazon so if you search on amazon yours to vendors that currently have it. They're aware although it says second edition it is not the second asian. It is the fourth edition. I cannot get it. Change the amazon. For i don't they said i don't. I don't control it anymore. Type about the vendors. They don't control this like we don't know who controls the heidel that we can't name was hell last week. That's kind of crazy. That's good to know though for anybody looking at it on amazon the same i would definitely include the link to your guises website show notes. Everybody can check out the cash me if you can games and all the other board games that are on their some normally. This is where i would insert the spoiler warning for the cash highlights but i did not have a cash. Ad in this instance. I'm for going the warning It's still really fun story. I hope you guys enjoy it. Did you have a cash. You wanted to highlight for us. A story belt love to hear it off it's still out there but This is my highlight. So i think there was eight of us around this thing so basically this guy took this safe and put it in a slab of concrete and buried in the ground so finding the surface was exposed so finding it was easy. So there's tumbler lack with little key hole and you gotta get this thing opened in the name of it was Since along is it was called safe like nine forty eight or whatever then hanging from the tree as a string in a magnet in so we're like trying nine four eight and we're going around with the key to the full extent around missing With a magnet trying to like hit a key with a magnet navy nets how it is Were all over ourselves in basically what it was the tumbler nor the key actually worked you bet you take the magnet and put it on the safe in slide. Whatever the bars are safe that keep the on the door and slid over the store into the world. And i'm not sure if it's the same guy in that one but he had He had like an automatic recording. Hi geocaching started talking to you but it was eight of us just going crazy and it was somebody who had done it before finally gave in gave us a hint in as i loved ones where you're staring at him. It's right there but you just can't do it like you just don't and then you're like oh it always seems so simple. We know the answer to it. How long did they make you wait it out before they finally gave in helped you forty five minutes or so. It was. it was crazy. Good the so. It was just like a like a portable safe or like how big wine wasn't in portable. They had it well. It might have been the concrete around it so no one can take it so it was buried in the ground and salad like you could. Not the thing was false so yeah there was not even any temptation to try to move it so great way to keep it from being muddled for sure in the middle of the woods somewhere to analogy my truck over out you remember what was inside the safe and you guys open at. You know that point. I really don't getting in there and signing the log. You know i i pretty much. I do a little bit with trackable. 's it's more the thrill of the hunt for me that so much in the Leaving taconite leaving items things so it doesn't stay out in my head. It was more the styling at at five. That's a pretty good story. Thank you for sharing that you so much for coming onto the podcast in telling us about dp h. games and the cash me. If you can games f sharing your geocaching story really do appreciate you taking the time out of your day to do this. No problem thanks for having me. You've been listening to geocaching adventures with me. Shadow dragon one. 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How to Pre-Promote Your Live Video Show to Get More Viewers

Launch Your Live

49:16 min | 8 months ago

How to Pre-Promote Your Live Video Show to Get More Viewers

"Welcome to the launch your live podcast show dedicated to providing you with daily top level, live video tips, tricks, and strategies to not only help you start what also excel ed live streaming. Bureau your hosts Christian Cara Schevitz, and Jim. So you've prepared to go live. But how do you notify viewers in advance so that they know where to watch live streams. Marketing or pre promoting your show is an essential part of your live that your strategy in order to help you grow your audience and build a community. On episode twenty seven Gemini or going to discuss how to pre promote your live video show ahead of time so that you can begin to attract viewers end build an audience. So I know you and I have had a lot of discussions off line about promoting your live video show and I want to go ahead and just clarify this for listeners. What are we talking about here and we say pre promote your live video show. So. Let's say you're just starting out and you're getting ready to have if you WANNA. Call it that grand opening episode one. Will. How are people going to know that you even have a show? Are you going to just expect them to show up at showtime? Well, whether it's show number one, show number one, hundred, show number two, hundred, I, think fifty eight, you're getting ready to do at the time of this recording. You have to have a strategy and plan because really your marketing probably to a married of places, and if you're not, you're missing an opportunity to find. Future viewers that may not know that you exist because part of marketing is building awareness. Absolutely and I will say this as well. So when you are promoting a live show and then you actually run that live show, it could be very let's see what I'm looking for frustrating it can be very demoralizing. If you start a live show and then you don't actually have anyone viewing the show you're talking essentially to an empty room I mean you're already talking to an empty room because you're talking to somebody over the Internet. However, it's just it's it doesn't work very well when you don't have anyone show up and so I know we're GonNa talk about promoting your life show gem. So do you want to kick things off? What is a good place for people to start with when they want to promote that live show and get their audience tune in? We're GONNA start a little old school to some people and something that a lot of people struggle with. E mail marketing. Yes. I. said it email marketing. I think of anything these last several months have if in my opinion have even. made a resurgence in email because it's so hard to communicate with people and one of the things Christian that you and I talked about a lot even with live video, right? You're on rented land especially when you're on social platforms and I'm sure we're GONNA talk about this in the future ways to go live with you know off of platforms. In fact, on our previous episode, we did talk with Dylan Shin holds her from view Sta about a way to do just that. But you've got this opportunity to build an email list of your fans, the people that are interested and you can communicate with them you know and and different timely manners. I mean I, I know we've started build an email list for lunch live I've got an email list for you know my my brand and and I also put out my show and I think you do the same as well. Don't you Christian I do and emails or also referred to as an email blast I mean. There are a great way to get in front of your customer or in front of your audience to let them know what you have going on and you have to look at it like this. If you have an audience on social media, a lot of times that audiences is very spread out so they might be on facebook they might be a few of them on instagram some the might subscribe for example to Youtube and so just putting it out on social media is not necessarily going to. Help you reach everyone and that's why to Jim's point. You own your email list you own the people that subscribe. You can choose when you message them and the other great thing about it is you don't have to fight the algorithm and what I mean by that is the social media algorithm for example of its facebook or twitter or Lincoln or Instagram it doesn't really matter they all use algorithm and they all control what you can and cannot see. You know while I love social media. Email marketing though allows me to put together an email and I can easily set out to my audience. So anyone who, for example goes my website they can sign up for my email list they can have a specific message this tailored if they want to, for example, get notified. When we go live, we have an email that we can send them for example. We have an email that we send for my show social chatter and that's a one hour reminder and it goes out every single week one hour before the show and it just tells people, Hey, we're getting ready to go live and here's where you can join us and this is the topic we're going to be discussing. and. So we send a one hour reminder. Some people said a thirty minute reminder and a fifteen reminder. But at least one hour ahead of time is a good way to notify people that way people get the email and then they can go join your livestream. Now Jim is there anything you want to add as far as email marketing aspect? Make sure that you're not being spammy I think that's one of the things that you need to be careful about because even though you own that email list, don't abuse the trust that your community and subscribership put into you to be bringing value. So the value in. Promoting your show is you're you're letting them know what the content is, who the guest is going to be if you have guests so that you're giving that opportunity for them to evaluate. Hey, this is show I really need to see and even if they're not able to watch it live, there may be more likely to put it on their calendars something that they want to go and watch the replay. Thing with the email is don't forget. You're going to be able to see your open rates. You're going to be able to see if you're losing subscribers and those can be signals in and of themselves of how well your crafting those emails if you're seeing low rates if you're seeing on subscribers than you probably want to reevaluate your strategy and and work to make your email marketing stronger piece of your portfolio definitely, one point that I want to actually make to that is. To the point, you just said a minute ago about being able to test, and so one thing we do is while we can go broadcast or simulcast by the way to multiple channels at once like we can simulcast to facebook and Youtube and. then. For example, all at the same time what we do though in our email is we don't just tell people. Here's one linked to go watch we tell them if we're for example, broadcasting on three channels here the three that. Were Broadcasting on and let them pick now. The great thing is behind the scenes I can actually go look at not just the open rates, but which those networks actually got clicked so. Where people primarily cooking for you to where they primarily clicking for facebook, and then if they said, they were clicking for like Youtube I can actually go and run a separate email and ask them if they haven't subscribed to subscribing my channel this way, they'll get notified every time we go live. So you know it all this stuff works hand in hand. So okay. So email, that's a great way to promote your live video show Jim what's another way that someone can? Get more viewers for their lives. We're GONNA go to what we've. Touched on a little bit already social media platforms, you've got all these different audiences on on your different social media platforms. If you are using them and one we're going to start with, which is one of my favorites is twitter. Twitter is is great because one you know as as I like to say the the life of a tweet is about eighteen minutes. So you can keep putting out information tidbits about your show multiple times showtime, and nobody's going to get offended like they might on some other channels where you don't want to be bombarding people with post and you can actually schedule tweets and by scheduling these tweets, you could even schedule a link going back to Christians example of that link where you maybe want them to watch. Maybe it's that link to your youtube channel maybe it's the linked to your. FACEBOOK page, but it could also be the just tell them. Hey, we're going to be live here on twitter. Just be watching our feed for when we go live and so I really liked the ability to do scheduling and and there's also some other great things you can do along with twitter's well, what what do you think Christian. So in addition to scheduling tweets and by the way like the example that you gave about the able to have tweets, go out multiple times versus. You know when you look at facebook or Instagram, you're not really supposed to say you're not supposed to but it's sort of frowned upon I. Guess on those platforms to be publishing. For example, every single hour it's almost considered somewhat spammy. I think you know and granted there is no set number of times you should publish. You just need to look at the analytics and see if I'm publishing more are people engaging more? Are they on following me? You know you have to look at that some additional ways in addition to scheduling tweets. I think one of those is to tag your guests and it's very simple on twitter. You just type the at sign and then type start typing the person's username their twitter handle. And then just include them in a tweet. And hopefully, if that dust is active on twitter, they will go and engage back by maybe re tweeting it maybe reach feeding it with a comment or a quote maybe liking it. You know and one thing I want to caution by the way with this is it's great that you can tag a guest but make sure that you actually communicate with your guest as well to see if they're still active on twitter because some people have a twitter account, but that's not their primary place that they do business. So it's great. You're tagging them but. The whole goal is to also basically to help them help carry some of that load and so hopefully they're to also you know if active on the platform, their re tweeted if they're not active, just kind of looks bad for both people because if I'm tweeting and they're not responding to it. Are they actually not active is their channel automated. So just keep that mindset tagging your guests. What's another way Jim? What one of the overlooked features of twitter as you can do what we call a pin tweet And so that's the first tweet that people see when they come to your profile. So one of the things that I do with the the Tim show is every week I pin the tweet for that upcoming week show. So there's people are coming to my profile that's the first thing they see and you could even do as an example maybe you. All the guests you're GONNA schedule for a month. You create a graphic showing all their pictures going back to. Christians idea of tagging them if they're active now you've got all the guest on this picture talking about who's going to be on what they're gonNa do and you've got that as another way if you wanted to maybe have like a monthly Penn tweet to kind of let people know all the great things that you're doing and that's a good point by the way. So that's how you use a pen tweet. Here's what idea for Penn tweets. So what I do is I want. To build my email list, and in this case, if I have an email is setup for my show I can go create a tweet and include a pen tweet at the top that tells people hey, you know we go live hovering times a week. Let's say it's once a week. If WanNA get notified, here's the link to go sign up for my email newsletter so that you do get notified about that. So schedule your tweets tagging your guests critic Penn tweet what's another one Jim? You can actually change your twitter name. You can have up to a fifty character name. Now, we're not talking about your your your user name, we're talking about descriptive name of what your account is. So as an example, you know we just the other day just for fun. I. Said You know Jim Fuse Hashtag launch sure live. So if people are searching for locher live, they're going to see that they're gonna find my profile because I have that in there and an. Addition to that you also want to make sure maybe you're putting your show in your bio, but people know that you're like the co host of launcher alive or deal casters or in your case social chatter so that people psych Oh these are some of the things you do gotta think one hundred, sixty characters that you can put in that bio. So that's another great way to put that as well as maybe you have some of the graphics in your header of the different shows you do. That's another place. People don't always take opportunity to do that visual perspective right? You've got your profile photo and that header that are this real estate that's just begging for good content. I think that's a good point actually with that twitter header actually. So by the way, the other thing also like that you mentioned is in addition to changing your twitter name making sure that you know it's key make sure do not change the username aspect and that's the at whatever the username is because what cannot, but as somebody could easily take that. So just make sure it's the name and what I actually do for that as well for social chatter is I put in there's a little red. Recording sign and what I do is I add the war I had the little Emoji, the recording. So cool and I put the word live next to it. In addition to my name. So that way people see that and then I actually change it back right after the show and actually use a tool for that I use an El Gato stream deck and that actually have it programmed where I push one button and it changed the name automatically for me and push it again in a change the back so saves a lot of time it ought to forget to do it at the end of the show I hit the button switches back. So in addition to that by. The ways all those twitter updates. One other thing that people should focus on when trying to promote that live video show is building excitement, and this doesn't just apply to this actually applies to every single social media channel or even your email channels. It just getting people excited about your show. You know if you're excited about it and that shows in the content you're tweeting out for example, people are hopefully going to take notice in at least join you for maybe one episode or two episodes and see what things are like. Okay. So Jim Atheist you on twitter, do we WANNA move onto the next social media platform? One last thing that a lot of people don't realize like I said, I'm a huge twitter user is the twitter list. Build and promote a twitter list for your show and so not only can you add your guest beforehand, I'd tend to add mine after but this is a great way for you to keep up with your guest. After the fact, because now you can be sharing their tweets. They don't forget about you because they're seeing that engagement. So twitter list is another great way. Even maybe you create a twitter lists called folks, I'd like to have on my live show whatever the show name would is going to be, and you add them to that list and then they might say I need to check this person out that says they want me on their live show. So that's Just another way to garner some interest and excitement So twitter list very powerful, great way to keep yourself focused on twitter. When you're out there looking to build engagement, I really liked that last one by the way I didn't think about that about setting up a list about. People you won't having your show. So love that. Okay. So let's talk facebook. So if I have live video show and I want to pre promote that on facebook, what are some things I can do? Well facebook has got a lot of flexibility. I mean a lot of the scheduling tools when you schedule that show and of course, you've only got you can only schedule out seven days in advance with a lot of these tools, but you create a post for your show and so it's going to tell people what's Gonna Be On the show you can, you can have quite a bit of characters their description wise and people can get a reminder the other the other piece of it too is this gives you that opportunity to build that show graphic, and so they can get that visual as well. You don't want to have a post without a graphic. So poster a a great way to start. But like I said if it's going to be the posted, coming off a lot of these scheduling programs like stream yard, which is one that a Christian I use a lot. Seven days is the Max you can do in advance for the post at this time, and that's not just a stream yard imitation either by the way, that's a facebook limitation. FACEBOOK only allows you to schedule seven days in advance. So just keep that in mind and that does mean you may need to start using a calendar. In our case, we use a Google drive sheet that we've created where we know. Exactly. What's coming up who this week's guest next week's guest is what the topic is we're going to be covering and so forth. So definitely take advantage of putting on a post and also make sure you tag somebody as well. We mentioned that about tagging somebody in tweets for facebook is the same as that thing you want to make sure you tag people in that post as well and a lot of times. You know if if you have time actually tagging somebody, you can obviously take the at sign and then it should start to populate name. Sometimes you do need to switch the account you're tagging from sometimes you have to switch from your page over to your profile and then you can tag people that way as well. But making sure obviously that you make a post and make sure you type people now I've got a facebook page another way that you can tap into this as well is obviously as Jim mentioned when you schedule a post through a third party or even through. Even through like facebook, for example, like through facebook by producer and so forth that you can also it creates an event actually on your page. So it says tells people when that event is going to be happening. Now, that event also gives inability to get a reminder and that reminders helpful because. There's a nice graphic there. So for example, it's a graphic for facebook. It's usually twelve hundred by six, twenty, eight as the Pixel size you create an show graphic and then it has to get reminded button. So people can click get reminder so that when you actually do go live you'll typically get a pop up from facebook when that page for example is about to go live and that'll. Give you gives you that warning hey, they're going live get ready to go over there, check it out if you have the time. So I think that that is another way. So what's another thing Jim that people can do on facebook to help promote their video show facebook groups is another hidden gem and I'll say this in a couple of ways if you own your own group you can share. These things we're talking about these post even from our pager from her personal profile or even if it's your page, you just have to change to being yourself. You can share it into a group like, Hey, guys make sure you come check out the show. If you're in other people's groups mind be mindful of the rules but some folks that we know actually will do things like they'll call it a marketing. Monday or you know share what you got coming up on different days a week and they'll allow you stream yard is actually great about saying, Hey, where are you guys going live this week and they'll let you share your show link in the comments of this post another great way. To get yourself visibility as well. So but be mindful of the rules you know and also support the other people that are probably doing the same thing I think that's a really powerful way to Kinda start to build your audience by using facebook groups deathly end. If you participate in multiple groups, every group has they have different rules. So the first thing is make sure you read those rules because some of them are very strict about. What you can and cannot promote are when you can promote the might have a specific post. Other groups don't really care. They don't police as much comes down to like their format. You know how they prefer to run things. It also depends on the size of the group. So if you're in a group that's got maybe fifty to one hundred people in it. It might be a good group, but you also have to look at the exposure GonNa get as well. So make sure that that group is actually pretty active you know and then when you get the massive groups of. Thousands of people. Those groups can help drive. Some viewers to your livestream but also keep in mind the group and what their purposes. So for example if We'll use the social media. As an example. So if somebody is a social media marketer, for example, and you're also a social media group with them, because your social media marketer everyone is going to be promoting the same exact thing. That it might know, yes, I checked a box I promoted my show, but it also doesn't mean that you're GonNa get people to tune in necessarily because everyone is trying to you know all those people are trying for the same exact sliver of by and it's a very small amount, and so you do want to keep that in mind. So what that might mean is for facebook groups sharing them into groups. Fantastic. You may want to go into other groups, for example, and these might be ones that are about coaching, for example, or maybe you've got one that is about being a public speaker. And they might invite you to share your information what you have going on. If you have a show or something great did happen you and that's a great place to do that as well because that actually exposes you to eight different audience, not the same exact people that are also in your industry. Okay. So we've talked facebook post facebook pages, facebook groups what Else Jim Be Doing on facebook. facebook events or another of those things that you may not think about and the good thing about a facebook event as you could actually put the event up more than seven days out, we talked about that limitation with post. and. What you could then do is potentially put the link once you have the Lincoln the event. Because events one, you can promote events using ads if that's something that you want to do but you can also invite people to events. Now I will warn you because I have done this in the past that sometimes people feel it's a little spammy if you're inviting them to an event that they really didn't want to be a part of so just be aware of that but events are a great way. You know you can have discussion the events. And facebook is doing some stuff with live producer. That will allow you to livestream within events. That's something I'm sure that Christian and I are going to talk about on a future episode but but facebook events another another great thing what do you think Christian a I like the idea of events wanting actually thought you were going to say was I thought you were going to say that you don't really. Use events very much because you know a lot of times people randomly get invited these but would also sometimes will happen is facebook events Kinda, just sort of fall by the wayside and in a way so somebody might get added but they don't necessarily seed all these events are you know that they were added to an event and so they may not actually be checking. As frequently as possible. So this is why again go back to that original thing we said email marketing is fantastic way to promote your show because you know exactly who your audience is you can see every subscriber that comes in versus facebook or twitter mostly social media forms you push something out, but you don't know of those people are actually doing anything it doesn't. Get to the granular level to say, well, Hey, gem opened this facebook post and he actually engaged with me I can look at the engaged but I don't really see anything else aside from that. So you know facebook events another good way to promote your life show. No another one I want to add is to use live video now, what I mean by this is Again you can do this anytime. You could set up a little schedule for yourself and say you know what every hour. One hour before my show I'm going to record a live video and that video is just going to be very casual. It's GonNa make me popping up on camera and just saying hey. Want to give you as a heads up I'm excited to see you all in one hour and we're going to be discussing whatever the topic is. Here's our guest. And then give them a link for example to where they can join and ask them. You know if you have questions, feel free to leave those in the comments for example, and you could address them during the show. So it's doing pre promotion of your actual live video, but doing it with a live video is that make sense? Absolutely, and in addition to that, another way that I also like to pre promote. Video is to use facebook stories. Again same exact concept. So there's a couple ways you can do. One is you could actually make that video and then put that video into stories. The other way is to make a series of vertical graphics. And Upload those as specific images. For example, what we would do for social chatters, we'd have an introductory graphic, the next one would be. You know here's where to watch. Here's what time the show is. Here's our guest is here's our host. Here's our coast. So each in ages essentially a tap in stories. and. Then the end would be you know we look forward to seeing you or something like that. So stories nother great tool that you can use to promote your life show Jim anything else you add about promoting through facebook. Yeah. There's also the power of chat bots know this is really getting you into the world of Facebook Messenger. Programs like many chat and mobile lucky that you can also get people to opt into and you can have ways where people get notified that you're getting ready to go live. But I will say there are a lot of rules and regulations concerning chat bots, and so you need to be careful because you could have your. Shutdown this kind of goes back to our rented land. Theory and and also why sometimes you know the e might be something you want to be stronger on first but chat bots can definitely help grow the ability for your show to get seen Christian. What what's your thoughts on that I like chat bots but I also to your point you know that they can be. Really good and really useful but at the same time if you implement them wrong. They can actually be detrimental to your account. So you know the great thing about a Chat Bot, for example, is something like if we were doing a live show, we could tell people, hey, would you like to join our email list in the comments just type the word? Email if that's an allowed word and it will automatically trigger a process versus. Oh Hey let me tell you during my life show. We have an email list if you go to this url. You can sign up for the newsletter and the thing with that is it creates it's extra steps it makes it harder. There's more friction to get people, for example, on that email list versus just giving them a code word that they can put in Mestre inhabit actually kick off the process. So super easy like it might be something like here's the code word. The message might come back with you know, how often would you like to get emails from us and then the next question might be, what's your first name what's your email address, and that's it and you don't have to really do much more than that. So Chad another great way to. Again help. Pre promote your show it can also be something where you set them up so that when somebody goes to your facebook page, you could have a message pops up for people not just saying welcome to my facebook page you know something such as hey I'm getting to go getting ready to go live on whatever the day is in the time. You know you want to get notified type type in the word live and how kickoff for example, part of the process. Okay. So we've talked twitter talk facebook, Jim do we have and we have social media platforms for promoting live show? One of the most visual platform, which is instagram. Now, you can't necessarily have your show on Instagram, but instagram still provides some great opportunities to promote. You've got the idea know you've got hashtags you know maybe your show, you get a Hashtag where people can kind of follow and find it, and there is also a you know some different tools I mean you got post you can take some of that content maybe that you've created on say facebook make sure your resizing it and taking into consideration how you know. INSTAGRAM has a different look and feel than facebook, and if you're going to tag people in a post different tags which you have and and and the other platforms as well. They don't just kind of tie overule sometimes see people take an instagram post share to facebook, but they don't make any adjustments. It just doesn't work. Right but instagram has a great posting feature that you can get a lot. Of, engagement with and So that's one I know that I've used what about you? Christian. I'm going to go back to my stories example we talked about this for facebook with facebook stories sandwich that concept you can go on Instagram stories and upload or record a message and send out to your followers. So that's another way. Again, we're not saying you have to do all these, but it comes down to. If your audience is active on facebook and Instagram, and you have a healthy audience size. These might be something to consider. So I think stories, that's definitely an option going back to the live video option as well. So there's instagram live that you can do, and that's where you can prerecord. You can record a message for your followers as well. So again, same concept I do it on facebook order the same thing on instagram. So I liked the live video aspect Jim. What's this next one we have for promoting you live show on instagram Actually a lot of people still don't seem to know about it, but there's Instagram TV. And I would even throw in their reels but. I digress a little bit but Instagram TV at the moment will let you upload up to a ten minute video. To, your instagram profile so you could. Do. A longer recording uploaded to Instagram TV and tell people a little bit more about what's coming up. Now I will say that it's another way which we're going to have another episode about. repurposing where this also will come into play definitely unlike that one. So those are some things that you can do on Instagram to pre promote your life show. By the way, there's a lot more to each of these social media platforms trying to cover a lot of the highlights the high level information for you to get you moving with live video and actually promoting your show you know, and once you start to do a lot of these then we can. Move into more advanced tactics, and that's going to be something. We're GONNA talk about on a future episode. Okay. So we've talked about facebook we've talked about instagram. We've talked about twitter the next one I wanNA touch on real quick is youtube. So Youtube can be a fantastic way to pre promote your live video show or ending live video content you're creating. Now one way that you can do this is to schedule your livestream now I know on facebook. Gem. You have seven days with which you can schedule that show shows. You can do it seven days in advance. Is there a limit at all on Youtube for scheduling your livestream? You, know I. I'm not sure if there is but I know. It's definitely more than seven days I i. in fact, I want to say I, was able to schedule something out once about a month for a client on. Youtube. So I think it's fairly re scheduling. Do you do you happen to know is there's not a seven day time limit I'll tell you that right now. So you definitely can schedule it much further out. And the great thing about Youtube. There is no limitation on not you can also build. So, like before and event I mean I personally I schedule as much as I can on Youtube now the reason I do this is so that like I don't WanNa, get too far out but I wanNA make sure I. Schedule it out like seven days for example, as good fourteen days twenty one days maybe even a month. But what I want to focus on from a scheduling aspect is making sure I'm not putting out too many scheduled views ahead of time because I don't know if you've run into this but I go on Youtube and I see this beautiful thumbnail and I'm like, Oh, I wanNA watch that. and. The problem I run hints you is then I look at him like well hold on. This is actually GonNa be going live now it's actually not going live for quite a while so. Scheduling. That live video on youtube fantastic way to get some traction. But make sure you don't go too far out now in addition to that by the way when you do schedule your youtube live videos, and by the way, we use stream yard to do that. So we go into stream yard we. Choose our destination and then for Youtube for example. We take that thumbnail we've created. We put that in our. Basically, our video that's going to get posted on the channel, and then what we can do is we go in and we add tags for the video. We put it in a playlist. For example, it might be a place called coming soon or upcoming or something like that or live show, and what's going to happen then is by actually optimizing that video headed time based on what we're GonNa talk about it actually, let's capitalize on search features as well. So if somebody is looking for a particular topic and you've got an upcoming video about it, they actually find that in search and then also there for when the videos has been published once you've done your stream. It's therefore people to then be able to find it via search because you've actually done some of that ahead of time. Now in addition to youtube by the way, another thing I'd like to do to promote right next show is I will go into youtube comments and I will tell people you know thanks a lot for watching this week show. Here's a link to maybe the blog post recap or you know any other information, but I also add an additional comment about when our next show is in. For example, the topic or the guest is there anything you want WanNa add about that one jim. Well, Christian that's actually a really good point and I guess my question would be to are you able to in Youtube maybe to add that link to have them subscribed your email list as well? You actually can. Yes. So you can put pretty much any link you want in your own video comments and you know I personally I would say. You could. Maybe one long comment and the common could be something like thanks for tuning into this week show. So this is if you`ve Already done a show. You can tell them thanks a lot for watching this week show. If you want to get our email, get an our email list, you need to subscribe to the video and click the notification bell or you can go and subscribe to our email newsletter, and then you could also include a note that tells people here is who our next guest is going to be a here's the next topic, and here's when it's going to be going live. Now, if you are wanting to do this for video alive, you've scheduled you can do the same exact thing as well. You could tell them. Here's where we're going to be watching the show. Here's the topic. Here's you know all the information that somebody might need. So try to have all that stuff ahead of time you. So you're hearing a lot of preparation kind of goes into a lot of this. So. In. Addition to Youtube by the way. So we got one last social media platform we want to talk about and that's Lincoln. So Jen how can be how can link to be used for? Pre promoting that that that live video show. A Lincoln is a very powerful platform and in factors also linked in live. Of course now, a Lotta people have it Christian. I are fortunate to habit I. Mean we're literally talking I think less than ten thousand people currently have access out of audiences six, hundred, seventy, five, million people. But you can create posted. This kind of goes back to what we've talked about earlier. You create that post with that graphic you can tag your guest you can have a description of what your show's going to be about. And you can also share the link to your. You know because maybe it's not going to be unlinked but let me just give you warning. Lincoln does not like links in the post. So put that link in the first comment and let people know that that's where they're gonNA find the link to your show because you want to also make that post engaging 'cause the more people that comment on that post, the more people are going to see it. So post are a great way to get the word out for people. You know, maybe put it out a couple of days ahead of time not to mention you can also create Lincoln events, and that event can also have the link to where they're going to go watch the show. So. I wouldn't necessarily do Lincoln event to have them. Go live on only din because at this time, what will happen is if they accept the event, they're going to see it but they're not going to see the video if they didn't accept the event. So if you're GONNA use Lincoln four events right now where he wanted people to watch your show, maybe take them to your youtube channel or even your facebook. Link for the show itself. But that's another great way to kind of build some buzz about your show by by making it a Lincoln event. Any other thoughts on a lot in Christian will so it's the it's a similar concept to what we're doing on facebook and instagram in Youtube, and it's pre recording a video. Now, some people they have the ability to, for example, record videos and publish them to their channels. Some people don't necessarily. So if you don't see it on your channel when Lincoln. Just keep that in mind it doesn't always get rolled out to everyone but prerecording video where you might be giving an introduction and these videos don't have long by the way you can do something as simple as setting a background turning on a light and sitting in front of your computer and just talking to your audience very quickly. You know this could be a two minute video at the most hey, guys just giving you a heads up. We've got this live show. It's happening at whatever time tell them obviously the WHO, what, where, when you know information and invite them to join. And see if that tactic for example is useful and then one last thing I want to add for a link is make sure you tag your guests and Lincoln does a great weighed. With tagging, it's very easy. So just take the at sign you start type somebody's name and it will pull up that user. So definitely make sure tiger guests and one other thing Lincoln also does a terrific job with hashtags. They do a great job at suggesting hashtags. So to gems point, you make Owington Post about your live show that you have coming up. Make sure you also add some relevant hashtags well, things such as you. Know maybe there's on Hashtag live video one if that's what it is or your show, for example, could have its own Hashtag you can create your own ash dyke show and use that as well. So it's a good thing for branding. Okay. So we've talked email, we talk social media and we got a couple other things we want to talk about Real Quick Jim. What's the next item as far as pre promoting that live video show? Update your profiles to let people know you have a show. We, do you've done all this great work and you forget to tell people that you have a show even on your personal profile on facebook, you can really take that bio area and add all these other links to your socials. If you've got a specifically, if you're shows on Youtube, put that Youtube links so people can go out there and find it I. Think. So many times were so excited that we forget to update. Profiles let people know these are some of the things we do. I mean even Christian and I for launch your live. Hey, we created a link Tin Company page. So now we have a way for people to go and learn more about the show so that you know that's another I guess another little tip from from your friends. Jim. UNCHRISTIAN about ways to get yourself more visibility for your show but update those profiles people. And I want add one thing real quick to that and it's the fact that I don't think that we forget necessarily I think that it might be the fact that there's a lot of information out there on social media that say things like don't promote. facebook profile or don't you know if you have if you're a business and you have a personal twitter account and a business account only promote on your business account and so forth. But a lot of people I think what they forget is they forget to they can share the content from a page on a profile. There's nothing wrong with doing that. You know if you're just using your facebook profile for business in every update is about a business. Yes facebook doesn't necessarily like that. But what you can do is you can promote via. Via go on your facebook page making your post there and then. Turn around and use share option and share it back of your profile. This way it actually includes your facebook page. So people can actually see, hey, you have a facebook page as well. I can like it. And the same thing for twitter, you know if you're on twitter and you send out a tweet via your. Twitter account for Your Business or even just your show. You can re tweet that on your your twitter profile. So. What's different things you can do there as far as updating your. Updating. People about your show so I think we have one last item that we wanted to talk about real quickly on. Promoting your life you show and what is that? I invite your guest to share with their audience is so important and I also want you to think about and Christian, i. both are very passionate about this. This is really a case of give and take right because. If you if the roles were reversed and you're going to be a guest on someone show. Wouldn't you want your audience to know that you were going to be a guest on their show? This is something that is so simple but this is how you get exposure to new audiences for your show because your guest is getting exposure to your audience. So it's really this is the potential win win for all parties involved. So you WanNa, make sure that you have a strategy to do that. The other big thing about this though I think people sometimes forget is if you can actually innocence, make it easy for your guest as I like to call it a sense by teeing up like, Hey, here's. Graphic you can use. We've got your Nice beautiful picture there, and we've got the title of what you're talking about and all the profiles we're going to be going live. They're going appreciate that. So make it easy for them to promote the show and you know and and maybe even give them some ideas because maybe they're not thinking about it I know Christian you do a great job with that with social chatter you know of getting that information out to the guests, and so I think it's A. Great opportunity to get that exposure pre show. For sure and thanks by the way for that compliment, you know in addition to inviting your guests to share your show with the audience. That I think also you need to keep in mind is it's a two way street. So you WanNa make sure you are doing everything within your power to bring viewers, for example, because then let's say you invite that person to be on your show and it's not about being you know reciprocal relationship from the sense that he gyms on my show. I'm going to have him on. You know I'm going to be on his show. You know that sometimes works depending on the type. Of business that you're in and make sure you both have you know you're not for example, pitching to the same exact type of audience he's pitching to You're you're pitching this relevant the other thing though you know there's give and take this actually can have impacts or it can impact your future opportunities and partnerships as well with people because if for example, you're just take take take take take. People might look at that and say, will you know they never really promote our show but they're always asking us for stuff and so it doesn't actually reflect well on you as a business potentially so. Anything else you want to add about pre promoting your live show Jim. Now just but I I will definitely say that I think when they see that you're a giver, it definitely opens up other opportunities. No doubt in my mind I think both of us have. Felt that happened with as we have grown as as live streamers, we've definitely got a lot more opportunities because we're always looking to promote our guest and help them. I and you know it kind of like it's the Karma thing it comes around if you do good things to others good things happen to you. So there you have it. We talked about various ways to pre promote your live video show including email marketing. Leveraging your social media platforms. In addition to that, talking about updating your profiles, know about your show and also. Helping your guest who is going to be on your show, helping make it easier for them to share your show with their audience. So basically, you're spring boarding with your audience onto their audience and helping you get more exposure so that when you run alive, your show is an empty. So, thanks for joining us for episode twenty, seven of the launcher live podcast. For. More information head to launch live four such DP Twenty-seven we'll see you all on a future episode. We appreciate you joining us for this episode of the Launch Your Live podcast, short a rate review and subscribe to the show on your favorite podcast platform. Also visit launched your dot live for more resources based on today's topic as well as access to even more episodes that will help you level up your live videos that's launch your dot live. So. Until next time. Keep going live.

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Roman Mironov on Being Version 2.0 of Yourself

Podcaster Stories

34:52 min | 3 months ago

Roman Mironov on Being Version 2.0 of Yourself

"You know you see masturbation in it it. Oftentimes it's not a roller problem. Problem is that when you rewire your brain associated sexual pleasure with poor and mess and your hand rather than normal sex and because many people start to this start this habit in teenage years it becomes so ingrained that it's so difficult to get it out of their head later so i always encourage parents to have this conversation about masturbation as as early as possible. Hi welcome to podcast stories each episode. We'll have conversation podcasters from across the globe and share their story. What motivates them by star of the show are the grew show and more we'll also talk about the personalized and some of the things that have happened of mme the personality. And now here's your host danny brown. Hi and welcome to podcast stories where we meet the people behind the voices of the shows. We listen to this week on china with roman host of the be version. Two point of yourself assure that helps people create amazing. An enviable relationships. And be a better. You ruined welcome to the show. We were just about you being toronto too far from it. So how about you introduce yourself and your podcast hide any first of all. Thank you so much for having me. It's a pleasure in the privilege. And i am a relationship coach and a life coach working from toronto. I in general. I helped my clients build better lifestyle a healthier lifestyle a happier lifestyle and mike. Podcast is also about that. It's as you said is to be version two point zero of yourself and it's all about gray relationships and being kind to yourself and being real real the best be. I know you'd mentioned data that you help clients be a bachelor them that comes through you know each and how philip and etc and europe a big believed up yourself with your own journey and you don't have journey which will obviously talk about. This show goes on. But how did you come up with the idea for the podcast sal. Was it natural progression from your coach. Worker was added onto the value. Add or i started the podcast in order to market myself using it as a marketing channel. So i basically started growing as a coach taking my trading starting for the my clients and in parallel. I was started the podcast so the sort of complement each other. Because i use the ideas from my coaching and the examples for my coaching in the podcast and the ideas that come up when a record my my my show i actually been write them down and use them in my coaching sessions. Because i was going to ask him about that. Because obviously podcastone and the summer of two hundred nineteen hundred nineteen was the the first episode and originally we just you on the on the shore. But recently you've been bringing on more guests to to discuss their lives and to discuss their healthy habits. So what's the process of the site which cast come on and how he eats into our flows over to your your business life so to speak okay so first of all. I decide on the topic that i want to cover of the next episodes. Then i look for per person who is ready to talk about that episode and especially at. This is a little bit difficult. Because actually i want to go into into specifics and i don. I don't want to just chat about general stuff. I want to be like pick up one thing like being very good in your communication over different channels. And i want us. I want the conversation to focus on that. And the problem is that actual mini guests. They want to focus either themselves or something that they're selling or just in general topic so this this makes it challenging a little bit and obviously you come up with topics. Have you ever had to like not publish a show. The guest veered off much to try swinging background on the promotional suffer as prey on that beautiful question because he has. I had that kind of experience with with one guest. Because i tried to keep her may maybe even to guess. I think i think that the the first one is was just completely the like she kept going back to her to her products to her service as enda just did not did not offer much value. Yeah that's true and the second one. I think so. I tried to keep her on the topic but she was she. Was you know. Go into general things about her. Her failed marriage so it didn't. I wanted to keep talking about a break up like going over the break-up specifically but she was just you know to all over the place and i appreciate that but i mean i want to deliver value to my audience and i. I didn't feel that. I could do that with with the interview recorded. Not i don't want to be. I don't want to come across disrespectful. But i'm all about value that's it and high high quality content rather than just you know recording one or two hours of general stuff and that no one wants to listen to. I think obviously of your type of shows well. The value has to be there for your listeners. Because it's impacting their relationships and their health and their their life. So if someone's given the wrong advice or just push an agenda for what for hard that fits into their own promotional stuff. it's not gonna accurately lead to damaging results for your. I guess Well sometimes maybe you know people come. People do come as gas with generally positive messages. They are offering really good advice that the problem is that. It's not a real specific to specific enough for my show or for the topic that i want to discuss. That's so it's really about just you know being being too general and now being too specific not being to practical no of that you've got gas they'll be bringing a lot of additional information and experiences that you've been sharing as well you know from your own life and from your earlier times over the podcast. What what's been some of the things that maybe you've learned from gas that you've taken into your own life and improved an area or change something because of something guest brought up. I like one of my recent episodes with coach communication coach. And she well. She talked me what what are the things that she taught is to. Actually be on the video when when you communicated with annual line if you can't be on the video do it because the video adds to the communication so much more because introduces all those nonverbal communication pieces that we miss when we over voice however however don't let that thing stopping they don't over commit to you to the point where you say okay don't have like. I don't have thirty minutes to go on on a full veto also. I won't do it at all. No if you have five minutes and you want to just an audio call do it says do it and also run one good piece of advice that she gave for That he actually needs to be more expressive communication because we tend to be more robotic more reserved when we talk online versus offline. So we need to remember about this. Any real really put in more effort than just just be more expressive smile more. Make more gestures just now like that advice. I mean obviously we record in with squad. Cast at the moment and one of the reasons i liked is it's called the screen room that using would. It's a video option. We're not using the video and audio pianoioshortly but the video options and to your point. Just seen someone's i reaction because then you can tell as you mentioned. We knew insulted guests without realizing it or you get just a more dynamic interaction between people. I think exactly. Yeah that is the right word interaction. You really triggers It helps you be more emotional. And then the other person this off you and also becomes more emotional and that just increases the the intensity of communication makes. It makes it more fun. Did you find your show. He's been gone for about a year and a half so july. Almost if you're gonna think have there been any episodes that have stood out in particular for you. And if so why that episode or are these episodes. It's my most popular episode about eighty one meal a day way more people listen to wait and washed it on even wash it on youtube. I mean i put it on as a youtube video right now. I think it's like thirteen hundred. People washed it which is like really insane for at least for my show and i was going to ask you about that because one of the things that you've done is you've had a complete change of lifestyle from allier years where you're you've changed your eating habits your healthy living habits and you'd mentioned just now that you have one meal a day. Which is you fall into. Kato dyas correct. Did you snack as well as your because it just a one meal and then you just miss. I really snacks. I'm just curious a stricter regime of your like absolute in nelson act only water. That's just water. And what made you decide to take. That was at a health issue. Or did you just look at how you were eating and living that you decided to change. Or how did i come about you. Danny first of all. I look at this as an experiment. So i've been taking this experience for more than a year. I feel good about it. And maybe i will change my mind. I dunno i dunno. There are pros and cons for me. The best thing is that it. Lets me compartmentalize my life so i started with. I iced in the first part of my day work. The second part of my days i exercise and the third part of my days rest where i actually have my meal this just one meal so it helps me like really really be effective and if not really effective maybe efficient see. Because i don't want to break my first part on my day which is work by meals for me. This is the biggest benefit and they also say there are health benefits to it. And i think those benefits are pretty valid and one of them. Is that actually. You manage your insulin better. Because the the fewer times during the day less often you release insulin. And insulin is bad for you and is it. So it's the one that you have. Is it like a larger meal to account for the the non other musical lake or sort still a standard size meal. No of course it's larger. I'd need to get the keller. Is ray still and i know i'll let people. I'm not sure if you've tried on a lot of people are doing intermittent fasting So i guess that's kinda similar to to your point a little bit different exactly. It isn't intermittent fasting so my my protocol is twenty two hours of fasting in about two hours eating twenty two to whereas a lot of people lay stick to this sixteen to eight protocol. Right not sixty a week time time when you first all. I got that wrong. That's a different one right. Sixty eight sixteen to eighteen year. Just like this. Let's say you start eating at ten. Am and you finish eating at six pm right. That's eight hours. The eating window is eight hours and the remaining window was sixty hour. Says when you arrest from food no you'll podcast that's about as you mentioned earlier helping people on their personal johnathan whatever that looks like unnecessary for your coach in their health or their business goals eating goals etc your own journeys been quite up and up and down one. I got i guess over the last few years. You mentioned that you got divorced in two thousand fourteen And you moved like you made a big move from a country where you were living to. Canada five years later. So i guess in two thousand nine hundred. You came to canada. Change was all done. And how much of an impact. Not making your life at the time. Okay so i always wanted to live in north america so went ahead this wonderful chance to come to candidate. I used. It used it hand. You know mike experience here in toronto has been is different is different so first of all. I like a lot of things. So i used to live in russia and russia's basically a third world country so here in toronto i get benefits like a great legal system safety security investments cleverness organization which we don't usually have in russian but at the same time i feel only a little bit and i actually feel nostalgia miss my. I miss my family. I miss my son. Especially who's there beckon. Russia with my ex wife so i always wanted to come to come to a country like canada. Or we've here but i did not. I never realized how lonely feel and how difficult it is to do that at thirty six and now and now at third thirty eight right and all of a sudden in the pandemic at the moment can't help either because i'll real limits. Our interactions physically with people as well. I mean obviously we can make up zoom call or whatever but you can you mentioned l. at about the the video interaction that were having then you have with clients. We need that physical visual touch. I'm so so how is the pandemic pantry. And you know. I guess over the last year i've been working from home. Which is which is fine by me by the way because this is very efficient. I actually i tried doing in summer summer. I worked for the client here in toronto. Doing just like walking sessions and it turned out that this is not really helpful in my coach. Because i can't really focus on get distracted by all the things and i can't really do practices like visualize ation or meditation so i i'm sort of thankful to covid in the south which doesn't mean that i like it. Yeah and i feel board a little bit of stanhope. He'll fill lowly but compared to to my clients and we'll talk about this. All the time made them. They feel much much worse so i feel that it is. It is lowly just stayed home. I still you know. I'm grateful that it's it's not that bad for me as for. I don't feel that has some other people do and i. I'm guessing because of your own journey as well with the divorce and you coming to canada and and building your life year while you're not surrounded by your family. that must be like helpful for the coaching. That you do an author and people in similar situations and helping him overcoming chewed. You find that. You're you're also learning and getting help for a description so there's a better word now. Obviously but when you're when you're working with your clients and she understood in your help make the changes. Do you find us almost therapeutic for you as you continue to go for your own change. Absolutely there's such such good observation. Danny because i really feel that this pain that i feel from lola and religious any paid and even paying that i subject myself to like high poxy or exposure to coach showers. This helps me. Connect to my clients. Understand them better because like everything was perfect in my life i would be just in a very different place and it would be difficult for me to understand that. That's one thing and another thing that i appreciate about this. Let's be lowland those other ways to inflict pain or myself is that i built. Psychological resilience apparently helps because down the road. Things will not go the way. I want them to go. And let's say like just just think about family you the members of your family. They eventually die right. And when i look at this even though the time is difficult for me while i'm away it helps me realize that at some point in my life they will pass away and i will not be able to to be with them just like now so just makes me stronger and of course it makes me appreciate them so much. More wiler here. I think that's that's a real important distinction. As you mentioned. I know a lot of people through the pandemic of said it makes us realize exactly what we've gotten what we could lose. Because you know a life can be snuffed out immediately. You know and you'll never got chance you see all these horror stories of people not being allowed the loved ones to say goodbye. They're hospitals shut in our so to your point. I think it's real important to to be aware of exactly what could happen. And how we can prepare ourselves for the exactly exactly and that's actually a very good example. Eta gave about not being able to see your loved ones. Let's say i have. I have a coaching client here in toronto and she has a sister an older sister who is sick right now and she's in a very bad shape really never shape and my client cannot see her just because of this lockdown restrictions. She feels so so sorry about that. Yeah it's it's. I know that also vaccines start to the rollout across the globe and hopefully some form. I'm comeback whatever that looks like post covert because it's at says he might a horrible effect on a lot of people in a lot of ways of life. I guess no one of the things that That that made mistrial path. To what i always like china review Pre show and we'll just going back and forth on email. You'd mentioned that given up. Masturbation no without like an off-color remark under michael have you given a masturbating and they saw. What was the thinking behind. Does that tight into your your lifestyle now or something different. Yeah i mentioned it because this is actually one of my biggest specialization says coach. Because i went through that experience almost seven years ago i i i i know how to do it and i can show my clients how to do it and there isn't i give it up is because really was holding me back and i was at a lot of time in a lot of energy and how was felt shame. Have trimester beta. Especially because i was married so i kept masturbating through my marriage and that was really really really really shameful for me i could not like. Yeah i i. I could get a quick escape from feeling bored masturbating but that was just like couple couple of minutes feeling good and then hours feeling bad about myself and i was really feeling that i was doing the time from my ex wife and mice little son. That was my big reason. Now you mentioned that you felt shame because you married obviously So maybe he felt like. I have a wife. I don't need to master bet does that. Does she come from like pure upbringing or was just something that you felt through the action of through the the saudi environment. You're in at the time. Yeah i will say it came from my upbringing. My highest standards my wanting to be consistent with my identity person with integrity so eight never. It never really felt right. Real real. Never i always maybe maybe in my teenage years. It didn't feel right. Because i i didn't like the fact that i was hiding and then over the years it just got access for baited because you know now ahead this wife son and i was supposed to be role model for for my son and i miss her bathing again hiding so i guess i was just it was all about my integrity. Want thoughts. because i've got two young kids out of tannin. It and my wife and i are always trying to a balancing conversation as get older still war. We're going to talk about now and you can see they're the changing emotions and maturity if you like and one of the things would always on par. I know when i was growing up my my grandparents and my parents were always very secretive about. You shouldn't be doing our job. You know god looked on a year and a bad way of you. whatever. And i'm one as as you know. People have moved forward on generations of move forward. And you know it's people don't have to hide. Being homosexual for example are being so-called different from what's clauses a norm. I wonder is as as more people. Don't see something is secretive and in charge of that might make it more acceptable. I don't know we fought so now. Yeah when it comes to mestre bachchan. I think that people are still pretty pretty secretive about it. They don't want they don't want to talk about it with their kids. They don't want to talk about talk about it with other people including coaches to. Let's say that's why quite just to just basically a handful of people laid feel find the strength in themselves to reach out to someone for help about masturbation and but this is. This is the right thing to do because oftentimes it is a problem. Maybe not not the masturbation so usually watching pornography can be a problem and we're the least obviously the big story I guess last month for maybe December so one of the biggest ones is porn hump and based in canada of all places in quebec and they got the government got involved about seventy or eighty percent of their content pool down because it was underage teens. It was was very specific category. So as you mentioned it. It's a huge issue from a legal point of view not mentioned and everything else. So yeah it's it's see pornography as can be a huge issue was like sex trafficking etc. Exactly it's like just a as a father who has attended and eight year old kids. I sound and daughters eight-year-old. Okay yeah so like just think about taking about the boy would you. Would you want to be Stayed in his room and watching poured and masturbating hiding this and wasting the time his potential. This would you. Would you want him to do that. I guess not right. Yeah well yeah. Yeah the moment would coot. And he'll expli- video games with myself and my daughter so we've got slow team thing going on so that's good keeps them occupied but yeah. He's like so tiny living in me is. Teenagers are fast approaching. So maybe we'll maybe they'll be a new challenge. Yeah yeah. I challenge you to have this conversation with him sit down with him without shaming. Just just really explaining the perils of masturbation especially important you know ec masturbation in it of itself. It oftentimes is. It's a real problem. The problem is that when you rewire your brain you associate sexual pleasure with poor and mess and your hand rather than normal sex and because many people started to this start this habit in teenage years he'd become so ingrained that it's so difficult to get it out of their hand later so i always encourage parents to have this conversation about As as early as possible. No that's for sure there'll be like maybe we'll send toronto for a couple of coaching sessions. Zoom zoom lane with. You mentioned that you feel it. Launched in july twenty one thousand nine hundred. It's how many associated about forty forty. Yeah so which goes for the future. You've just started them. Introducing more guests to the show alongside your own. Sta what you'd go so you change in informa- maybe doing more videos. You mentioned elliott are at at this point. My main goal is to focus on on masturbation and poor so maybe the next down to twenty episodes. I want to really focus on that. Because this is the the the bulk of my work and i really want to find defined nation my marketing awake. Because say that. I'm a relationship coach. And just you know that's that's too broad for me. I've i've been trying with this with this specific topic porn. Ms rotation and. He showed me some pretty good. I'm happy about those results. I appreciate them. I think i need to develop more in this area and obviously guests on to play share experiences. And would you be having see other clients on that you've helped with this or would you keep that separate and their privacy. Separate gas are of course separate my clients they. They reached out to me but they got a secret about about this habit. And basically like if i think about all of my clients now i think there is just one person who told about this to anyone else beside me so i actually feel very honored when i talked to my class because the i'm the only person the lead know about their problem. You've obviously got up an interesting background with different experiences with different people. You meet a lot of different people through your client work for your podcast if you had to name. One person That would be your all-time inspiration your time hero. Who without being. why parson. I think that there are a lot of people who inspire me. Just the one that comes to mind right now for. Some reason is our on. Just because i was reading his biography. But my son yesterday over over. What's but anyway. That's arnold schwarzenegger he is first of all. He's such a great influence on me. Because i grew up his movies back in back in the nineties. Even though i was in russia they were translated so he was a. He was a role model for me. When i started to work out when i started to build muscle strength and since then he's also become a role model for me and many other areas including achievement. Motivation i mean. Let's say for example. One of his principles is that to get good at something. You need to do a lot of repetitions like you do reps at the gym. The same thing with when it comes to maastricht in any other area of your life. I like his policy like his strategy about investments. He always always said that. You need to invest over time and you need to. Let's say never never buy house your first house. Don't buy to live in it if you buy a house. Buy it as an investment so he was also very frugal. I resonate for that a lot. I leave minimalist lifestyle. I do my best to you. Know to cut my expanses so this an another. Let's he always cooked his own food. And when he did not hit didn't have any luxuries feigns or ways to spend time when he was young like what he will do with just vote. What he came to the united states from australia. He would just take his girlfriend to the beach and they would just hang out there. Very cheapen very effective. I'm good how from say to fresh air. The beach the sea thing is power. Fake right there you go. I remember watching the documentary back. But i was a kid back in the. Uk was made ten or twelve kind of called. It was the something iron commentary pumping pumping iron. That's it thank you. So he was going through the the readiness for the show. And i think if i recall lutheran was also and the documentary along with some other bodybuilders at the time and it was interesting to see how the book and to act afterwards and the had a similar career path you know after luther hoc conan from for narnia and terminator noah. So it's interesting to see these. These like the bodybuilders to see into the movie industry stood over at the same time. Exactly exactly and that's another another thing. I like about arnold schwarzenegger because he actually made this. You know they're difficult shift in his career right so he used to be a body builder. He used to be an athlete and then he became a great actor. Which i mean i guess what i'm saying is that old people have this potential. They have potential to be to be great and basically whatever they liked to do but so many people squander that potential maybe they they get they just get good at something in their life and they stay there even if it gets stale unless say the industry that they're in like dis off but they still stay there. I know like sorte always which is why going to politics is all right. The big medicare dream. Emigrant comes into the and gets to the highest position of the line. It's an amazing story. And he was very vocal. When trump was in power like the video shared in other the movements he held back except it was interesting to watch him move from his movie star career and to this series politician. That's really pushing back against what trump stood for what kind of presidency stood for. I guess exactly exactly so there. You go from bodybuilder to movie actor to governor and now to this bike bug media person. This is yeah this. This is the best example of the potential that everyone has and how how we all can actually find motivation. As long as we've as we find my motivation we can actually get great results off. Sure so this. I've really enjoyed channel today. It's been a really interesting talk with very different topics. Which is what. I love about the show. Get to meet people like yourself that can really share a diverse range of experiences. So i do appreciate you coming on today. Thank you for that while danny. Thank you for having me. It's been an honor. Thank you so much know for sure so for people that want to connect with you. I fall you. Online are for coaching sessions based on the topics of the fattest disgusted. Where's the best way for them to connect with you. Listen to your podcast etc. Yeah it's my website. Roman mironov dot com spelled s. Our whole n. i. r. o. n. Lovie hit the contact tab. Contact me for a free coaching session. And if you sign up for coaching and let me know they came off. The podcast tours. Podcast i'll be happy to give you a thirty percent discount. Oh definitely be sending my son over zoom call please. That's that's amazing on. Yes yes if you sign him that'd be great that'd be great. Let's go on. And i'll be sure to drop the links to roman site and his podcast and to the show so whatever up your tend to listen to the show on make sure to joplin or the show. Click these links so again roman. I really appreciate it. Thank you for that. Thank you dating. The pleasure was mine. You've been listening to podcasts of stories. If you enjoyed this week's show be sure to subscribe. You don't must episode and feel free to leave changed to help other to show to the next time on podcast stories.

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Abby McDonald: Shift Your Focus

By His Grace

19:35 min | 1 year ago

Abby McDonald: Shift Your Focus

"I hi welcome to another episode of by His grace. PODCAST I am your host misty. Phillip I am so glad that you were here today. I'd like to introduce you to buy friend Abby McDonald. She's written a book called shift. Due to changing our focus to see the presence of God and several times in her life she has had to shift to focus on the Lord and one of those times was was with postpartum depression. And that is what we're GONNA dig into today. So Abby welcomed by His grace thank you misty. Thank you for having a knee absolutely so first of all. Let's start off and tell the listeners. A little bit more about who. Abby McDonald is. Thank you MS de well. I am a writer and I will first and foremost some wife and a mother. I have three little ones They are eleven eleven seven into my youngest is my little girl and we call her little princess. Because that's really what she's she's our grand grand finale so to speak our surprise baby but she's been a huge blessing and I've been married for almost thirteen years and I am also a writer and a speaker. I teach writing workshops at conferences around the country. And it's I just have a passion to help women dig into God's word and discover who they are in Christ instead of the noise of the world and it's a really fine him in the midst of those messes of life where we often have difficulty seeing has hands and so that's me. I love that. I didn't know that you spoke at writers conferences. So we'll have to talk more about that after the puck definitely so. Tell me about your struggle with postpartum depression. When was that with this last child or with when you're older children or when when did that begin While misty I've really struggled with postpartum depression to varying degrees with each might children But it was really the worst I with my first child. And I think that there are a Lotta elements that played into that. I think the biggest one is just. It was my first child old. I didn't have a lot of experience with kids in general. I didn't do a lot of babysitting when I was a kid so it was really a whole new. Thanks to me and my husband and I had just been a lot of major life transitions. We had moved cross US country from South Carolina to Utah which is completely different. Lots culture shock and trying to fit into the community and find our place in community. And so there was a shift from all this Nunez Nunez and just New Marriage we had just gotten married Within the past year when I found out I was pregnant with my first first child New Town new community new job New Baby on the way and so. Oh then you're just sort of thrown into this life fish religious days and days of the same thing over and over and changing diapers getting up in the middle of the night and it really Firs you for a loop and when you don't know how to get your bearings I for one. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know if I was doing a good job. so I really just had to get to know who god was That was something I really hadn't spent a lot of time doing. Even though I had gone to a Christian school I had grown up in the church I had really never just taken time for myself to dig into the word and learn who God was and the more I started doing that. I saw that he was God who really rewards towards this Middle Ground faithfulness where Were not necessarily seeing the reward immediately of our toil on our labor but we're just perseverance in now and were doing day in and day out So that was one of the ships that had to take place and then another one was just Just admitting what it was I was going through. I'm I'm just being honest about it because I think a lot of times. We have shame about it. You know and we don't want to admit you know hey This is a struggle for me and so that was a huge deal. Yeah and I think there's a lot going on so our bodies are are changing. Our hormones are shifting. Were not sleeping like we should because we're up in the night. I know for me the anytime that I am exhausted. Everything seems so much worse than it is. Yes and just having time to to find quiet time can that can be a struggle to find that and it can. It can feel overwhelming. But I think that if we can get into God's word if we can step away I know my husband was always really good about like. Why don't you just go go? Go go go anywhere. Good mom exact same thing yes go shop like do whatever it is that you need to do to just come back. act to be refreshed because it's challenging and then you've got the you know weight issues and trying to get the baby weight off and all of that can can be a challenge as well. What are some of the things that helped you to kind of pull you out of your postpartum depression? There were several things you know. One thing that I started to talk about before is that was really key for me is I had to Shift is my perspective from inward to outward and that involve me seeking out community which was very it difficult for me during that season my life because I am an introverted person. I had lived in the same town pretty much my whole life and for me to actually go to a mops meeting like a mothers of preschoolers meeting or something where I did not not knowing anybody you know that was terrifying today and I've I've since grown past that and that sort of thing it doesn't bother me as much but during that time of my life it really did and I had to see how much we need each other. We need immunity entity introverted or not. We need people that we can just have an adult conversation with. You know and said let us know that we're not alone that they're going through the same struggle we are and they're surviving getting through it Just seen Really helped me tremendously and God bless me with this one friend who religious pursued me In she was sort of the catalyst for me doing that but I had met her. Before I had my first job I was pregnant. I was expecting my first son and after I had him I had an emergency emergency c section. That was something I didn't mention before. Or and so just that in and of itself just added a whole new element into the post mortem from because my birth did not go I planned. I actually lost my grandmother the day after my son. John was born on size grieving and trying to recover from surgery on exactly. Yes exactly end so I had this friend that I had met and she really like she. She wanted to connect with me and she had made that appearance. You giving me her phone number are and I just completely forgot about you. Know I was just so In this day to day drudgery like Don p Mom uh-huh you know trying to make it to bedtime. Really was my only goal in. She just showed up at my doorstep one day and was like. Hey Hey you know if you need to take a nap on here if you want Mehta to feed the baby which I breastfed at the time time. So that was a challenge but You know she has that. Hey I'm here and let me take a nap. And then she got me Outta the house we went for a walk and just the fresh air and getting out of the house was such a huge. Sure thing for me And that was. That was a huge step. That was a step toward Me Breaking Out and she introduced me to mops she was actually the person who said. Hey you know you should check this out. You should do this. I I've done it with my kids and I think it would really help you. And so it's amazing how those people yeah I think it's important to just hit on the fact that online social community is great. And it's the world that we live in benefit thing people with flesh and blood that are in our faces people for other people so being inc community with people I think think that's why Hebrews says that all the more important as we see you know the day is drawing near that we are to be We're not to forsake the assembly of Believers. Because has we need one another and so I love that I love that. She just didn't give up on you and she she pursued that relationship in what a lifesaver. It was for you absolutely. Yeah I I was just GonNa add that a lot of times. We don't see Those things on their happening like I don't think I necessarily recognized that. That was a god thing when it was happening but now I can look back and I can say oh. Yeah that was totally God you know and so that's something to keep in mind when you're going through. Those seasons is a lot of times. It's not until you get through it that you can look back and you can see God was there you know the whole time. Yeah well I know. I've got a couple of new MOMS. Who are listening to the podcast asked and so I don't know where they are If they're struggling with postpartum depression or not bet if you could speak to another another woman and give her some encouragement. What would you say to her? I would stay first of all. You have to be honest about what it is. You're going through. Do I think a lot of times when we're going through Whether it's postpartum depression are just depression. In general that we think okay you you know this is. I'm just having a bad day or you know I just have to make it through today and then I'll be fine. I need to pull up my bootstraps and I just has tapped a trudge along and get through it and a lot of times. That's not the case in. It's it's serious and people lose their lives. Lives over this sort of thing unfortunately and so I think you have to talk to somebody in it even if it's just Your doctor doctor or somebody that not necessarily as close to you at first that that's a step and then eventually to be honest honest with the people who are close to you like your husband I hit it from my husband for a long time and it was not only hurtful hurtful to him but it was hurtful to me Because I wasn't an honest about what I was going through and I think also Be Honest with God and that's another thing that I had to realize is that God welcomes our honesty with him and I would just read. Read the Psalms of David and it just struck me out. God listened to him and David just laid it all out there. You know like whatever it was he was going through he was honest with God and then not only that but in doing so his perspective change and by the ended the Psalm A lot of times you see a completely different David at the end and his perspective has changed in he realizes that God is there you know so there's something about being honest with God that brings a change in us and and how we see him. He knows what's going on. Need us to tell him but right part of our relationship building with him him unless you trust him as we pour out our hearts to him and then we can move from a position of you know focusing on ourselves or our problems in shifting our perspective to praising him even in the midst of the storm and I think that's what your book is about is. Is that shift in perspective. I love that you know some of the other things that I know helped me as a young mom Were just diet and exercise and victor so many things that we can do to be kind to ourselves and understand that that's a season is in will change and your kids will grow and you will sleep again Right hand along having people in your life that can remind you of those things is so good to yes of course pouring all out to the Lord I know I filled many many a journal during the days when when my kids were young just Sometimes all I could mestre out was help the hello that actually is set many help rare earth and that was all I can say they he tells you he does he does so I ask everybody that comes onto the podcast. Is there a scripture. That do you have as a life verse or something in terms of writing this book. was there a focal scripture or something that helped you to get through that time of year. Postpartum depression well this this scripture. Actually it's an entire psalm. I've mentioned the psalms that what what really helped me during that season was psalm. One thirty nine And it's funny because I had heard that SOM- so how many times like I said I grew up in a Christian school and I'd always heard that song on in a it's about how we're fearfully and wonderfully made and and How God sees us he sees are going out icees off before we even express them And I'd always heard that sort of in relation to You know childbirth-related in on the sacredness of life and That's that's true. Obviously but I'd never really seen it in a perspective of God seeing every single thing that I I do whether anybody else sees it or not And values it. You know a he he he values from each step. You know every every midnight Feeding all of it and so that was that was awesome. That really struck me during that time and just in a profound way. I'd love that. He sees he sees every dirty dish. We wash that that sort of laundry that we do every time we tirelessly pick up after little people all things you're absolutely right in One of the the verses that I focused on a lot when my kids were young was do everything you do do it heartily as unto the Lord Because has that is our act of worship to him maybe just feeding our people and Making sure that everybody is clean and Clinton Fed and that is a good goal for the day but that can actually be inactive worship to Lord so absolutely Louis so your book shift changing. Are Your book shift changing our focus to see the presence of God odd releases February fourth. How exciting where can people find out more about you and your book? You can go to Abby McDonald Dot Org and you will find information about the book there. I'll have some fun preorder freebies for you and it will be available on February fourth wherever books are sold on. So yes Scott your favorite retailer. Well thank you so much for sharing about Opening up about your postpartum depression and I know you've got some other stories in your book that you share where God has shifted your perspective so thank you so much for coming on and sharing about this with our with my listeners and I just pray blessings over your book. Absolutely thank you for having me. It's been fun thanks. Thank you for joining me today. On by His grace. I hope you've enjoyed listening and are encouraged by our guest today. I would love for you to visit my blog misty. Philip Dot Com for more encouragement. You can find me on social media as misty. Philip and I would love to connect with you there

Abby McDonald David writer Abby Abby McDonald Dot Org Phillip Nunez Nunez US Philip Mehta South Carolina Scott Don p John mestre Clinton Utah Louis
Episode 20  Esthers in Transition  shes getting married!

Women and Wealth

29:02 min | 2 years ago

Episode 20 Esthers in Transition shes getting married!

"The. Welcome to the women and Welt podcast with Esther Szabo Esther is a respected leader in the field of personal financial advice. With over twenty five years of experience after going through her own significant and challenging life changing events. She overcame fear and self doubt to launch her own successful advisory firm. Now Esther is ready to share her practical and personal experiences to help other women clear there, hurdles, and brave. Life's transitions in this way she inspires women to lead fulfilling and confident lives. Welcome to women and wealth with Esther Szabo from gates pass advisers today. We're gonna find out what is going on with Astor. How are you Esther? What the heck is going on with ester doing very well, very excited about what's going on with Esther me, too. But I don't know. I know snuggling shared some things with me already. But today were diving deep into what makes Esther Esther, right? So I don't know what we're starting why don't you take me down this path so are well, I'm gonna start with talking about the stages of transition because I am going through a couple transitions. We might just get to one today, but it's from the work of William Burroughs, and he did a lot of study on transitions, and we've taken that work in the financial transitions institutes and added an additional stage. But my clients are used to seeing this have this in my office on a stand. But it's the stages of transition in the first one is in -ticipant in the next is ending so into the patient is it's. Somewhat self. Explanatory one is thinking about something that is going to happen in the future. It could be the sale of a business. It could be a divorce. It could be a retirement. So one -ticipant that this is going to be happening, then there is the stage of ending where there's no going back. One has retired when my husband passed away the marriage was ended. It was ending for me then when sales business, they're no longer the owner of business. So there's a very clear demarcation and the traditional thought is one goes immediately from ending to okay. You have a new life now and this is what's so challenging often in these transitions because we know that that's just not the way it goes. And William Burroughs had that stage where he had just ended it with there's a new normal stage now but in the financial transitions work, we've added. A whole other stage, which is the stage of passage, where in passage that is that can last a few years. And that's where you're testing out the different possibilities with this new situation that you're in. You're trying out things in there can be a lot of a moat in any of these can be a lot of emotional ups and downs. But this is really just working through that change until one adjusts to the new normal. So I am in the stage of anticipation. I am going to be married of in months. Yes, it's very exciting. And I'll be married in the early part of October. Twenty nineteen end. I always liked to talk with my clients. I am not different from them in terms of your we all go through transitions. It's not like I as a certified financial transition doesn't mean you achieved all the different transitions and you've gotten a degree in. As opposed to my certification. -sential planning, where you go through different sections on taxes insurance state planning investments in the new test on that, and you get a certification. This is a little bit different certified financial transitions immunes, we've gone through vigorous study and practice on how we work with clients going through these different stages, and there can be different parts. Again. Transition doesn't necessarily mean it's a devastating situation. There are people who sell their businesses or retire and can't wait to get to that next stage. So there's different characteristics that, that one can be in with an N. We divide them into areas that we call flow and struggle. So in flow ones. Identity is intact going through the stage with one struggling one's identity can be compromised. When I lost my husband, it was really weird. Weird and not being a wife anymore. That role was gone. And that felt compromising that was a challenging thing in flow. When can have clarity if when struggling there can be confusion, overwhelm, some brain fog that goes on which is why had brought on, on a C Abaza a few sessions ago to talk about dealing with brain fog, glory, guest. Yes. She was there's just so many useful things around navigating that peace. And there's all these other different characteristics, I won't go through them all here, but there's a number of different ways to navigate in. I would say for me feeling very hopeful, and working on being realistic about possibilities open collaborative, but it can be when people are going through an -ticipant when they're saying, tipping divorce people can feel compromised. Their values can be challenged their -bility. Think clearly a decision making and prioritizing can be overwhelming. And, and some of that is definitely going on. There's a lot of decision making happening right now and prioritizing, that in the midst of a busy life in my practice and other things that are going on. It requires a lot of conscious presents a story. You said the third stage is passages passage the acids. Would you say that when you have transition that is that would have grief that could be associated with grief? Would you say the passage is takes longer than a transition that may be has joy associated with? It's not necessarily just focusing on death of spouse, or maybe a divorce, right? There's there's grief involved in that. Compared to having a baby bright or retiring Ryan. Well, let's leave your time off because I could be a mixed bag but a wedding. Right. The passage part of it. You, you said you're in the passage stage until you kind of adopt the new norm. Right. Right. Is that what is that? What you said. Yeah into. Yes. Yes, the passage stage, I would think that if it's if it's a grief situation might take longer probably takes longer than a joyful situation. Would you agree or not? I would tend to agree, only because it's much easier to talk in and navigate the emotions around a joyful situation, but still ongoing into marriage and, and that can take a couple years to adjust to trim. And I so again, I think I think the difference there is often how what's the one really needs a good active support system. I think really in both but really for grief, because it can be so numbing that it's even that much more important, and it's is a more solitary journey away. Everyone's happy to hear about being married that you don't get, as many slip-ups in what people say where they're well meaning, but say something that's kind of painful without meaning it, you don't get that stuff. So there's more ways to trip I think, in the passage of grieving because it's just societally more challenging makes sense. That's that's true. Also, because you know, my daughter was born. I was in the passage stage for a long time. And right. When I got used her she moved out. Right. When I thought this was the new norm catchy left. Mestre with my wife and it's completely it's just weird weird. That's your back in passage. I don't know how to I don't know how long this passage. It's gonna take me but it's going to be a while hoping not to trip up. That's for sure. Well, yeah, but then they just be part of it. It's okay. Yeah. All right. So I didn't mean to sidetrack you. What, what is the next biggest piece that we need to know that the audience needs to know about this? Well, one of the things is, as a visor to my clients, I certainly would advise for women who are being remarried later in life. And as anyone might that they put a pre nuptial agreement in place. That's pretty standard recommendation that I have certainly made and I eat my own cooking. So of course, I am. No. I sought out, family law turns. And I thought, well, this won't be that much different than when David, and I did our state planning when I was in my thirties, this will be that different. You're getting this document in place in you're talking about things, and you're just putting to writing and surprise to me. It's a lot different. It. How so it's, it's different in that you're in this time with, I'm in this time with my fancy say, and we're both very, very happy to have found each other. He experienced loss of marriages, well through divorce not through death. And neither of us thought we would really would be happy with anybody again, it just was like, well, okay. That was that phase. We did it. And now it's just the next thirty years of our life, and whatever, and we're so happy with each other. And we're planning this wedding, and we've got our place picked joy stuff. And then in the middle is fills like NO AM talking to an attorney where doing, I'm doing a pre-nup and it's all about feels like it's all about. Well, what happens if when we break up? I think most people's idea of pre-nup is that right? It's, it's, it's guarding against the gold digger right there. You for your money and, and a prenup is just one step towards failure. Yeah. Just think there's a lot of misconceptions out there. Yeah. It's exactly what it feels like Eric in. It's not an we are moving forward with we'd like being married. It's, it's the whole commitment. And we've continued to do a lot of planning throughout there are as I've learned. I didn't know this when I was dating my husband, but there are stages to dating and the stage that we're in right now is engagement, but each stage there are four stages before you get to engagement and each state has different things to, to master in that stage before moving forward and part of the stages, just really testing the waters on a lot of different things and early on when it looked like we were committing to one another. I mentioned it, then I said, how do you feel about pre-nup sin? He said outside, whatever you want is fine. I'm not out. For your money and not out for anything and just whatever. That's you know, whatever you want. So I sort of felt like we'd had that discussion. Very different win. You're actually meeting with an attorney, and I were just actually the very beginning of this process, where being married in five months, and we provide all my I have to do what I ask lines to do, which is always a pain, I understand when I paint for them to paint, for me, too, when someone asks me, I need these statements these documents, get them to me, and it's always a hassle so empathetic with clients, but it is talking about the different issues. I have a business. He has a business and in California where I live. It's the question of, well, if you have your business in there's a value to it, and it appreciates during your marriage, and then there's a separation than how do we manage, so quote, unquote, your businesses protected, and it's all about protection against this person that you're swearing your? The rest of your life too, and it's just feel so discordant. So one of the things that this has brought up in terms of transitioning. I in, but I am it's, it's really great to have the financial transitioned framework, even for myself to look at to look at okay. Are we in struggle or Rian flow together? And it is very much still, you know, not withdrawing he's not withdrawing there's not combative behavior. We talk about it, and we're actually together seeing a counselor once a month to talk about the different issues, whether they're financial he has children. That's new for me. I don't have children. So just navigating that whole part of blending, a family to some extent. They're they're young adult. So they they're somewhat launched already but really going to our support team. I think that's so necessary. See that as a thread all through its who do we have as support for us who do we go to who we can just say, I can just bring up, you know, we're doing this prenup? I know it's the wise thing to do, but I need it refrained because it just does not feel in alignment with my values about marriage. Do let's bit can make it a struggle. But I think that people miss the big picture. A lot of times with how pre-nup protects of business specifically or things that you wanna do accomplish for your family that even though your spouse will be your family and their children, and their extended family will be your family. They're still certain things that you wanna make sure are protected, even if it's a pre-nup also helps to cover Adesina was well, because it doesn't allow the family necessarily to go after anything that would have been set for your by LA. Families. Correct. Well, it's that will be more in the estate plan because that's the next piece that I'll be addressing it really is more things I had to answer for the attorney which I didn't expect not having been through this before they said, well, tell us relevant medical details about your fiancee, and I said, what, what would make a detail relevant? He has weird body hair. No. I don't know. I mean and the attorney said, will you make it relevant? And the issue has to do as I understand it today. I actually want to do a podcast with him on also. So he can say what it's like from his perspective, going Rufus. Yeah. But my understanding today is while I the what the attorney to tell me is you or the one that makes it relevant, and it could be something like him and he is in his late fifties right now. And if he knows that. I don't know. Maybe he which doesn't thank God, but maybe he has Parkinson's and in ten or fifteen years, he won't be able to take care of himself and so will need additional assistance. And so that would be relevant because let's say, I know that going into the marriage but in ten years, I say, oh, this is getting dicey. I will go ahead. I think I need to end this marriage because he's going to be needing too much care, and he could then legally make claim saying while she knew this going in so it's just it's all again. It just all is going from splitting up. So one of the things, though, that we did talk about in our counseling session on this could be our first counseling session on this is about the reframing in this is initially that comes up quite often in planning. We talk about it in the financial transition est institute about. How to deal with the fact that it is not unusual that in second marriages, where the, the, the woman has more assets than the man does. That's not unusual thing just because men tend to if they're coming out of divorce or have been divorced. They've had to pay alimony and support and women may not have come out of a divorce feeding to do that or whatever their situation is. And so how do we address the fact that also what we know is that men tend to not live as long as women. And we know that typically the woman is the primary caregiver for the man in his later years, and that women tend to have fewer assets as a result later because they have provided caregiving to the husband and the husband may of needed. More. Care. So these are discussions that he, and I are having and are dressing that is more of for me. What I want to focus on in the in the pre-nup process because he is not able to qualify for long term care, because they have gotten a lot more stringent as per the long-term care podcast, we had a couple months ago, and he is a veteran so he has access to the benefits, but those are things that to really address and to have agreements about that to some extent may be in the pre-nup, some extent may be outside of the pre-nup that our discussions that we have about how shall we handle these different issues? Should they arise? Good. Well, it's gone. It's much more fun to think about what will be wearing on our. That's right. Not, not as the ink dry on the pre NUP before. The nice thing is, as we know you well enough. At least I do the audience, you know, you have to take the opportunity to get to know Esther she would never ever ever say he's, you know, there's Parkinson's, I'm out. That's not what she's all about in. I mean that's, that's a huge thing. I mean getting married is tremendous. I'm so happy for you. I don't know if I'll make the wedding and a little far away for me. But I will definitely be sending my best wishes and, you know, at least a card, and, and please don't tell my said he had weird body air that wasn't directed toward. I have never seen it. I'm sure he's a wonderful on Harry guy. So what else is going on? Esther. You know, you've experienced transitions like any other human being, and we really want your clients, and your audience to understand that. What else is going on in your life? I think it's all going to still stick with the getting married because I realized we don't live together. And I realized a couple months ago. Oh, I've had my house to myself for five years, and I had all my closets redone professionally in my two years ago just for me just for my things I really did not think I would be living with anyone ever again. And here we are so we're talking about how to bring in his things referred his things up on the wall. And that's, that's a smaller piece. It's really all the discussion about accommodating someone else and someone else's life. And again, here I go back to one of my favorite resources, which is the. Organizer because so many people are fearful of our gazers, and they may have had experiences of an organizer. He said, you don't eat back rid of that, who were more critical. Yes. Yep. I have a wonderful organizer who I've referred to clients over the years where we collaboratively say this is what we'd like to use the space for. And she has great suggestions. And he, he has an interesting personal preference with his clothes that he cannot stand. Dressers. All right. Doesn't like using dressers because everything's in drawers, and you can't see what's there, and he prefers just to have like wire rack shelves where everything is out in visible. And so. Does the tough shed the? Disgusting. I mean seriously. That's, that's a huge guy walk in closet. And he can he can have all the wire, actually wants a tough tough shed McGuire. Just that's think of is one of the discussions under the same topic of accommodating his things because he is a general contractors, lots of said, I could really use a shed in the back and where it makes the most sense to put the shed is. There's a really beautiful tree, right there. And it would need to be moved. So. These are just some of the things that again, it's all on the table, though. This is a keep going back to this flow. What makes it a flow for me in the past, one of the things one of the gifts of the marriage that I had with my husband is just how much I grew up in that marriage from being him from each twenty five to forty nine just learned so much we both did about communicating how to listen how to be present and not feel forced into decisions. And this is really just such a strong tool as we're negotiating together is not to go zero to sixty on how a person responds or what they think is to be present in the curious about. Oh, we'll tell me more about. How you know how you like your close to be visible, where I could go like, oh, no, I don't want the house, a mess. No, no, no. We can't do that in another going to be a mess. It's going, it's like, well, don't know that, that's a story making up about how it could look. Tell me more about how this works for you. And are you. Okay. If we bring in the organizer just to talk about that. And he was fine with that. And we talked with her and she's like, oh, I have great secured suggestions for that, and about how to hide things. And so it just took it in a different direction than I might have if I had just been with my own head. Absolutely. And I think that's really true for financial as well. It's one of the reasons that the financial work that I do with clients is so critical, the engagement because any of us can just think of one thing about our personal life change, and how it's going to look and what's going to happen, and how it's going to be. And how do we stop something that might happen? And how do we continue it a closed for now? They're still so much more to talk about. But there is a wonderful questions that we ask clients as part of the financial transitions work as we're going through transition. There's a whole how do we manage our expectations? How do we manage the expectations of others who may be making suggestions to us about what we should do not do? And we have these discussions with our clients about what do you really what needs to be protected here in your life. What do you really need to be sure there's? A Motorola, and that really is protected. And I know in my relationship with my fiance. It's communication communication communication, that has to be protected in how, how do we do that? How do we listen? How do we say what we need? And that's a lot of what we've built really almost from day. One is just the ability to stop in listen and be present. And then what other resources are available to support the direction that you want to go in to identify those resources in access to because I understand, for example, where the lawyers going icy things in financial planning all the time, people say, well, I wanna go invest in real estate and real estate is a fabulous investment, I've just seen people go off and do it and not realize, oh, I'm going to have to maintain a whole other property. Mo. There's going to be tenants coming and going, oh, there's going to be a tax return. Additional work on my taxes. Just not real at oh, I can get a mortgage, but it's going to be a higher rate than a personal insurance is going to be more than personal, so eyebrow up those more negative possibilities. Also, just in the hope to saying, hey, I'm just here to help you look at the overall possibilities from my experience, but let's go through make the best decision together. And that's really what we do with financial as well. And then what types of things do we wanna let go of not have part of this experience in? I would say the main thing is making up stories about what could go wrong, so to speak, but being realistic about the possibilities, and I'm so grateful to have such a framework to work from, and even though I'm not crazy. Sometimes about eating my own cooking and following my own vice I really appreciate stepping through the experience because I think it just makes me a better advisor. For my clients Esther before we wrap up you and I were talking earlier. And I know that you have another example of transition that you're going through you're going to be going through. I would love to be able to highlight that on the next podcast is that okay with you, of course. That's just fine. All right. Let's give the audience just a little glimpse that we just talked about an upcoming wedding, which can be a very joyous. Occasion. What, what does this next transition? You're gonna talk about the other is my mom who I love dearly. She just turned ninety five last week. She still lives in the F B first name, mom, she still lives independently, but she is she's declining, and she's really been declining for about a year. But really this year, there's a lot more cognitive decline and working through that transition. Yeah. All right. That can be tough and I it might not be as fun as its podcast. But I know you'll be smiling because you you've got plans in you've you've, you're again, that theme of. Indication is the biggest thing. So I'm looking forward to that podcast, even though it may be a subject that is tough for some I encourage everybody to tune in. Thank you so much. Thank you. Eric. All right. And thank you for listening to the women while podcast with Ezra Szabo, if you have not subscribe to the podcast yet, please click the subscribe now and below this way, when Esther comes out with a new podcast, it'll show up directly on. You're listening to buy s-. This makes it much easier to share these podcasts with your friends, and family. Thanks again. For listening today for everyone it gets passed advisors. This is Eric Johnson reminding you to live your best day every day. And we'll see next time. Thank you for listening to the women and wealth podcast, the short subscribe to the podcast, so you receive notifications of new podcasts as they become available. Check out the website at WWW dot gates pass advisors dot com for more information. This content is developed from sources believed to be providing accurate information, the information in this material is not intended as tax or legal advice. Please consult legal or tax professionals for specific information regarding your individual situation. The opinions expressed a material provided, or for general information and should not be considered a solicitation for the purchase or sale of any security.

Esther Szabo Esther attorney Esther Szabo Eric Johnson William Burroughs Parkinson -ticipant Rian flow C Abaza California Ryan solicitation Mestre Motorola NUP Ezra Szabo David LA
My Husband Gave Me an Ultimatum (Hour 2)

The Dave Ramsey Show

40:27 min | 1 year ago

My Husband Gave Me an Ultimatum (Hour 2)

"Live from the headquarters of Ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studios. It's the Dave Ramsey show where debt is dumb cash is king and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. My Co host today on the Dave Ramsey show Ramsey personality. Dr John Bologna as we take your questions about life and about money. If you've got questions about Things you're facing during the pandemic maybe you've got a things going on in your life regarding relationships and relationship accused of you or people connected to you. Dr. John's here to help and we're certainly here to help with your money. Questions open phones at triple eight. Eight to five five two two five. Avery starts us off this hour in South Carolina. Hi Avery how are you? Hey guys thanks for taking my call. Sure what's up? Yeah so I just have a quick question so should I continue my MBA program and pay for it about taking out? Student loans The reason I asked that has caused besides the student loans for this NBA program. I do not have any other swap. Paid off my car. The beginning of this year During my Undergrad. I had a military in the athletic scholarship. So that took care of my Undergrad and And what my credit card? I never really used credit cards so when I started following. You only have one hundred dollars. Credit cards soldiers went ahead and paid off in cutting credit cards up. Oh good you make a lot of progress until it came to your Mba and then you decide that was worth going into debt for. I don't So how far into the NBA. Are you go right now? I'm in my third class on twelve little about one fourteen. Yeah right now and you paid for it. How so far? I'm so I took out a loan. Oh a student loan to pay for the first semester so I took out. I think it was like forty seven hundred but I don't pay that loan down to thirty three hundred S. I got remaining that student loan for their first Mestre. Are you working? Yes so I totally worked for a State Agency and South Carolina and business wild. The question came to me because I had an interview with the State Agency Late of Twenty nineteen and I did not get the job and so we're not ask the person You know afterwards. You bailable attended by Florida things that I need help with with the interview process or you know why the job Basically say the other applicant got out because he helped me masters degree. Like you. Hail a bachelor's degree and so I wonder you make third. What are you Mike? So right now eric. Thirty nine thousand a year. What was that? You're on paying and the job playing forty eight thousand a year? But with the thirty nine thousand average They also including my military part time so the national guard part time. Yeah how old are for my job. I'm twenty four. Oh okay cool all right well an entry level. Mba might be about like that an NBA should be worth a lot more than that way way. Which doesn't surprise me that a state job is not paying as much as a free market job does so you'd probably almost double the numbers you. You're dealing with lease when I if you go into the private sector rather than into a state job and oh by the way when you're in the private sector there are a lot more concerned with. You can actually do the freaking job whether the you have a degree. So very few times get passed over Except in large companies with lots of bureaucracy very few times you get passed over for For something If you're if you've got the skills now sometimes the NBA will give you the skills Where are you studying which school at Roulston collars okay are and so let? Let's do the budget. What does it take to finish the NBA right? So I'd be and came up to seventeen thousand dollars. Okay so you need seventeen thousand dollars over. How many months and India program about the whole twenty to complete the end of twenty or you need a thousand dollars a month right? Okay now what do we do? We look at your current budget. We tighten it down. You've already paid off debts. You already didn't have debts so you're already controlling your money. Got Thirty nine thousand dollars. It sounds like you're single. Twenty four old yes. I'm going to be on beans and rice rice and beans and I'm gonNA find five hundred dollars out of that budget or more and I'm going to take a part time job for the rest of it and cash flow this puppy okay. Can I tell you something else I are? You are so I've worked at a bunch of colleges and had number conversations across the country but NBA. Stuff I can tell by the work you've put in your part time guard. You have already done the math on your NBA. Which I've known guys who earn six figures and I ask them how much she paid for NBA. Like I don't know man it's getting the NBA. You had the skills the driving the talents your this. Nba is going to make way more sense to you. If you've got a couple of years of working under your belt and I know you've already started and I don't know what that does to the credits and how long you can hang onto. What not but I was even one major university I worked at. They just stopped letting people come straight from their bachelors through their MBA program. Because it just didn't make any sense because the the things you learn. Nba only made sense. If you had work industry experience that you could balance against that knowledge they make so much more sense it rusher it him you man. I'm telling you right now. You got bad advice. I'm surprised. Mba House shocked. I thought you were GonNa tell me your five years older the way you carry yourself. God Almighty Dude. Yeah you really. You're carrying yourself very well. You're very poised. You got your act together dude. So don't don't just just don't fall in the same hole that all of America's fallen into here and that's a student loan debacle And so a couple points. Nba is a good degree. It's not a left-handed puppetry degree. It's gotta use in the marketplace. You will pick up skills that you can use very few places require an MBA to be successful in business. You just have to be successful in business and then the NBA's not a problem. I've got folks on our team that have. Nba's I got folks aren't team didn't graduate from four years that those MBA report to so is all about performance in the marketplace. When you're in the free market now if you're in a huge bureaucracy like a state government or a big company. Sometimes they're more political. It's all about checking boxes on Advanced degrees and so forth I don't have an Mba John's got PhD's I've got a PhD in you embiid. That's all I got so But you know the So you know you just you. It's all about getting the performance done in the business world. And you're talking about business. This is a masters in business. So what's it take to do that? So this is a great degree. It is not a panacea. It is not what's holding you back It is worth the money. But it's not worth borrowing for. None of them are so. Save up work your way through cash flow. It takes six jobs. Be The weird guy who didn't get any sleep for the next twenty two months You'll be twenty six years old with a paid for NBA and The and a few more years of work experience. The things that happened to you during that time are GonNa make you very valuable. Yeah Man I like every good guy. Good guy well done. This is the Dave Ramsey show And collecting money can be tough for small business owners and sometimes no matter what you end up chasing clients for payment. There's no magic solution but making it easier to pay certainly helps. That's why when it comes to payments. I can't say enough about fresh books. It's accounting software. That helps you get paid two times faster by allowing you to automate so many parts of your billing process with fresh books you can just sit back and collect payments. Try FRESH BOOKS FOR THIRTY DAYS FREE AT FRESH BOOKS DOT COM slash Dave Ramsey? That's fresh books dot com slash. Dave Ramsey our question of the day on our question. What support on my talk about what I need to do is remind you guys that tonight is Ken. Coleman's get hired live stream event. Tickets are only ten dollars. Can comments teach you how to build a killer resume that will get you noticed everything you need to know to nail down the interview process and seal the deal because almost forty million people are unemployed right now and so it's GonNa be a wee bit competitive when you're looking for a job right now Lost Your job. You're looking for something new. It's competitive if you're in a job you hate. Its competitive forty million unemployed the largest number ever in the history of the United States now. The good news is a bunch of those people are just GonNa go back to their old jobs. And as soon as the Dadgum unemployment runs out in July. What about golf? Say Half America's nervous to not go back to work and the other half of America's nervous to go back to that same job they love that it exactly right and Ken Coleman Scott the antidote no pun intended or maybe a pun intended Says GET YEAH GET? Hired is the livestream event put on by Ramsey productions. Tonight with Ken. Coleman you do not want to miss this. It's only ten dollars and it's a Thursday night may twenty first seven. Pm Central Time. Get your tickets. Daveramsey DOT COM slash events. Get hired a livestream. They Ramsey dot com slash events. Do this event. What else are you going to be doing ten bucks? You're going to be watching something stupid on Netflix. Something dumb. It cost you ten bucks. That's Netflix's just get to livestream. It's going to be excellent. You're going to be excellent excellent. Amanda is in Georgia. I Amanda Welcome to the Dave Ramsey show conductor John and help drake thank you. Can you hear me okay? We can you bet okay. Great We'll just at a high level My husband pose sort of an ultimatum to me back in December. Which was you know you stay here in Atlanta and figure out how to make your own way or move with me to Chattanooga which is about a hundred miles away We've been married over nine years. We have the seven year old daughter. I'm a contractor and I don't know if I'm going to continue on past June I but now I'm interviewing for other roles like CDC and Georgia Pacific and My husband WHO's educated. Just kinda wants to leave his job to his career and figure out what he wants to do but he feels like just getting out of the city and moving to. Tennessee is better because his parents have passed on. They've left some five paid off properties. One is like a main house that he's saying we could live in their four rental properties and he just wants to kind of be debt free and move away and I'm scared to death because my life and My career and my opportunities for job opportunities that are here in Atlanta so I lost a lot of sleep over this over the past few months. That's thank you for taking my call. So how's Your House Your Marriage Sean? Show it's hard when your husband is kind of you know the most if I feel like the most important thing is to have to be debt free and he he I only have one debt. Which is a forty thousand dollars student? Loan that you know. I'm not talking about you. I'm not talking about that okay. There's something not whole here yeah. People don't just come in and go. I'm GONNA leave if you WanNa come with me. That'll be great. That doesn't happen in a good marriage. Or when they do they have right. Yeah that's the end of the road for them. That's the end of the line. Is it that kind of ultimatum? Or is it more of an ingest? Hey let's just do this. I'm trying to get a gauge from. Us is is your marriage in real trouble and might be. You know you know you know. Is your marriage in real trouble Yeah I would say it is. We'VE TRIED TO GET COUNSELING. But my husband just wants to leave and he's like been for yourself unless you move out here with me. Yeah this doesn't have anything to do with real estate. It's it's cool that you got five paid off. Probably don't even have anything to do with him. Being willing to leave wanting leaf. It's got wind. Leave you yeah. There's a disconnect between the two of you that's way bigger than real estate and do you want to stay married. Do you like. Do you want to stay married to him? I love him And I would have been willing to consider things if he had more of a strategy and other then I'm quitting my job and moving there and just you know I don't I don't was with all due respect. Amanda. I don't think you're hearing what Dave and I are saying this. You're talking about strategies and plans and what's it going to be like to be a landlord versus? I'm applying for new job. That's not what we're talking about like your marriage is on fire and somebody who has been married to you for the better part of a decade has said. I've I've found another train now and it's not a her that we know of but it's an opportunity. I'm out you're welcome to get on the train if you want. But him out. That is not a real estate issue. That is a. Are we going to make this? Are we GONNA make continue to go with this. And that's why I'm asking you. Are you interested in your marriage? Used to love. This does not married. Does he doesn't propose an ultimatum. Like this Unless the marriage has degraded far enough that His vision of his life in Chattanooga is better than being married to you otherwise you don't throw an ultimatum like that because here's the thing. Let's say that you were dumb enough to go okay. If that's the case the only way we can stay married is I'll go then. Guess what when you get up there. You're still married to the exact same guy that was willing to walk away from you. The worst part about moving that you go with you and that was that would just be weird. So the problem in in this whole discussion is not whether it's correct to stay in Atlanta with your career aspirations and those to be respected and heard by him and it's not whether it's whether his goals are being debt free and taking the family inheritance that he's gotten and Starting a new life in Tennessee versus Atlanta I is correct. Neither one of those are wrong. The ultimatum is. What's wrong and quite honestly your indifference to the ultimatum luck. You didn't hear it in here. What it meant no. I I I believe me I cried myself to sleep many night so I just I was. I'm just at a point where I'm like. Well maybe it makes sense but to go with them and it. It might it might. I've made the same concession. I lived in Houston which is similar to Atlanta. A loved it and then We had an opportunity. My wife asked if I was interested in moving to a city similar to Chattanooga in Texas and we had a discussion about it. We did it as a team and then we moved together as a team in. So what I'm saying to you is. You've got decide if you want to stay in this marriage number one number two. You've got to sit down with your husband and I'm telling you right now it's ten x what you think it is. The journey back to each other is going to be long. And you've got to re-communicate reconnect and get with a professional to help you help you walk alongside each other back together and and the reason is is that. No one doesn't ultimatum like this unless it's really bad already. The ultimatum is not an indication of he wants to go to Chattanooga. It's an indication of. He doesn't care whether you go or not. That's what's scary here and And if you hear your voice if you here in your heart I'd rather stay in Atlanta. I want him to go then. That's that's a conversation you've gotTa have yourself and with your counselor with your husband and if you say I'm willing to drop all of this in go there. Then that tells me you still have some fire in your belly about your marriage and you to sit down and look in the eye and say let's make this right and let's make this whole because he doesn't know. I don't want to go to Chattanooga with this in this condition that it's absolutely not you gotta fix this marriage before you'd make the commitment to go. You can't just go go along go. Along is not gonNa work because growing will still be broken when you do that because you know I gotTa tell you man if this happened in my house you know either way either one of US would go you. GotTa be Cilicia. That's really really think you're that important. Don't you mean that would not go well? No and but it's an indication that had already isn't going right but the beauty is time and time and time and time again couples faces crossroads and they both let the let the air out of their loan. So and and say. Let's do this. Let's reconnect. I'm fine if you live in Atlanta or Chattanooga as long as you heal your marriage I there you go and your marriage is probably worth it. Oh It's worth ailing. But this is the fire alarm. It's on off. This is the Dave Ramsey show. Man I am sick and tired of people getting screwed over by the timeshare industry. People have paid off their timeshare but still can't even give it back. That's crazy if you're sick and tired of paying for timeshare you can't afford call timeshare exit team when you hire them before. May thirty first to exit you from your timeshare if they can't get you out before your next maintenance fee is do they'll pay the fee for you. I trust timeshare exit team. Call eight four four nine nine nine exit or timeshare exit team dot com. Some exclusions apply see site for details Dr John Baloney joining us as my co host. Today on the Dave Ramsey show open phones at triple eight eight five five. Two two five okay. I don't think I got where I wanted to go completely on that last call. I somehow didn't get the line there And I know it didn't CONNEC. Lightbulb never went on over her head I know that and show. Let's kind of walk that through from a relationship. I Q perspective okay. He comes in and says I'm going to Chattanooga Y'All come fine. You don't come on. Just let me know. I'm leaving so let's back up even before that his parents die right okay. So that's family homes up there. It's debt for his desire to be Scott. Five family homes. He's been living in city. Maybe working with living in a place. He doesn't want to support her dreams. Livestream making up narrative here. Okay but he's got a trauma and then The something trauma activates something falls from the sky and he has a decision. Now you can see it where he says. I've been in this decade. I see the trajectory on this thing. I've got a chance to do something different. Which is a common seven to ten year marriage it right it and added that a trauma that activates there you go okay but even with that even with the trauma and even with the standard each. It's all it's often a light bulb right it's Yeah but but even with that. He doesn't suddenly come to the and that's using was because he you know in other words it at some point he was trying to talk to her and she wasn't on she just wanting to listen. There's the and he found out. He finally reached the end of that and just went. Well look now. The train showed up to take him out of town. No but I mean it's it's the communication was broken right before we got to the ultimatum way before the ultimatum. Their way of work down in their relationship way before breakdown of trust. Because I can't imagine doing that Sharon I have made a lot of very painful and difficult decisions that the other one didn't WanNa do necessarily and it just took a while to get there but there was always a respect of the other person's viewpoint. There's always a connectivity a sense of dignity and even when we were fighting about it that was there because there's an underlying foundation that we may disagree but he's not trying to hurt me or he's not trying to bear on trying to you know but she's not going to lead sounded like that a little bit like one possible narrative To go with it would match with yours actually is that he's been saying for years. I WANNA get out of debt. And she's been on a student loan and wouldn't talk about it or been in the city he's been saying. I hate Atlanta I want to get out of here and she'd been gone. I don't hate it and he's been gone and so he's not heard in a sense and he went well. You're not listening to me. Sorry I'm leaving by the way and going to Chattanooga and but the point is it's not the debt free thing is not the inheritance that caused this It's not even you know the difference in size and lifestyle between Chattanooga Atlanta which is substantial splinter in a relationship disturbed relationship that has turned into a Gulf. Yeah and then she sitting there going. I don't think I only match up and couldn't even get her to talk about the relationship bench and I thought about that over the break to and I I want to give her grace and understand. There is a point when when you are blindsided or you are unaware and you go into fix it mode right. Your brain goes to math. You go to fight flight or freeze and you're frozen. You're just trying to solve a math problem right. And that's what I was trying to do is get her out of a math province. Whoa WHOA YOU'RE SIDEWALK. That you're walking on doesn't exist anymore and if you don't want it to that's one thing if you do stop talking about money don't talk about getting out of debt and life in Atlanta Chatanooga. Career was not the guy that you married that you forever to with a seven year. Old Kid is yellen through a megaphone at you. I'm out and you're welcome to come. And that's the heartbreaking part of that for me that's when you put all your career stuff down and all of your dreams and ambition and you look somebody and you hold their hands and say what happened. Where are we? And let's let's Redo this reconnect this thing. Yeah and you really get into some pretty intensive marriage. Counselor you gotTa have somebody at this point you gotta have somebody walk along with you and then the career stuff and the working on light but right. Now it's gotTa be clean a playoff absolutely as you see it. You know if you keep moving that food around. It's not going anywhere right so you can just discuss this crap. You know. It's as if you know. Well he listen to Dave Ramsey and he wants to get out of debt worsening must be married to me. Now you still want to be married to you and I think the somebody blames Dave Ramsey. She didn't but she blamed his desire to get out of debt. And that's again going back to the the first caller of the day. That's like yelling at the at the fire alarm to start yellow kitchens on fire and their smoke everywhere. Right show interesting so interesting. 'cause we talked to so many on here that are You Know How do I get my spouse involved? How do I get my spouse on board? Which is a much healthier question? Oh you know it's like I really WanNa do this and I really want them to come with me and I'm not threatening to go without them and hear that question. How do we get him on board? A I won't do this if it's GONNA cost one right. I can't go without them And I always tell him you shouldn't go without him because it's not gonNA work anyway anyway. Yeah so very interesting Very interesting all right. Josh is with Josh's in Michigan. Hi Josh welcome to the Dave Ramsey. Show Hey Dave how you guys doing better than we deserve. What's up good all right so My wife and I are on baby. Step two we're working debt snowball on the household income's about sixty three thousand a year We've got about forty five thousand in debt and my question is I've got A. I've got a decent size family. I've got five siblings. And then of course my parents and then my wife has a couple of kids there. My Stepchildren and my question for you is Just wanted your input on making room in the budget for gift giving during the that snowball and and and what are your thoughts on gift giving the family members. Yeah so like for birthdays and Christmas and that kind of thing. That's a great question. Josh I can tell you what we did. It was very minor for adults children It was a little bit less minor but still fairly minor. Selections got a bunch of brothers and sisters and we always bought like All that brother-in-law's sister-in-law's and everybody gift all these adults are unwrapping gifts. All around the room and we came in at Thanksgiving before Christmas and we said Gaza names this year and they said well we might not want to instead but we are drawing names share because we are not buying all you gifts we are. What's nose broke and right now? You're broke and so buying a bunch of buying your brother-in-law who see once a year a twenty dollar tie. Christmas is ridiculous and so We are drawing names as a matter of fact the Ramsey family to this day Markets have the money and they draw names for each other. Just because it's just too much stuff and you know and so but but little babies having a birthday a four year old having a birthday party and you buy twenty dollars toy. I'm much more happy for that and than I am this but this idea that you need to buy somebody a thousand dollar something absolutely not. You're freaking broke in Josh. I'll tell you I'm getting old now. I remember my. I remember a gift I got. It was assigned to baseball by Nolan Ryan. When I was a little little kid I remember that one but you know what I remember. I remember the Christmas events. I remember the birthday events and I remember monks. Tom Among Kebab. Jim Uncle Bill My aunt. Jane I remember them loving me and I know they got me stuff and I don't remember that well and so you got stretch Armstrong. You know you do. I love them and I remember the laughter and the smiles and the engagement and I don't remember the knickknacks and right now at your at your debt level to income ratio at what you and your wife were trying to. Do you got two kids of your own. I'm going to tell you to have fun adventures. Be The fun oncle. Smile a lot be silly being engaged but the little knickknack stuff man SL. That's GONNA cost you more than it's GonNa help you know my kids. I mean we and for kids one of my brother-in-law's and he would go the dollar store and spend thirty bucks. I bet they loved and he was King of the world. Of course you was me off. Yeah I spent one hundred bucks. This guy's been thirty bucks needs King of the world water balloons just camel killing. We Love yong-chol Mac. This is the Dave Ramsey show. Excuse Dr John Loney Ramsey personality. My Co host today on the Dave Ramsey show. Olivia is next in Alabama. Hi Olivia how are you? I'm doing great. How are you guys today deserve? What's up so I need help today. Finding a balance between showing my husband respect in his biblical role as the head of our households and standing up I guess to say against financial decisions that he's wanting to make our family that I'm really concerned about. We are on baby step three and are on track to have a good down payment. Twenty percent down By next summer we still have some time but he is very adamant. He tells me about getting a thirty year mortgage. He's very familiar with your baby steps and the financial plans that you teach and I've sat down with him to share my fears about the thirty year versus fifteen and we ran the numbers. And we've seen you know in the long term how much we can be saving with a fifteen year mortgage that he is still very much against the higher monthly payments and recently. He's also been trying to get me on board with doing one of those first time homebuyer programs where you put your percent down And again I've talked with him about my my concerns and fears within but now he's concerned that I am seemingly unwilling to compromise on the Dave Ramsey plan. And so I don't really know what to do going forward and I kind of feel stuck does start with. It's not the Dave Ramsey plan. It's just you you're you. Have you have a viewpoint on money and he has a different one You know we're not going to allow the plan or me to be the villain that that's that's silly show but the argument is really. He wants to do a thirty year and he wants to do a first time home. Buyer plan you to do a fifteen translation. He's got house fever and wanted to buy a bigger house than you are. That's what this really is. And there's more to it than this isn't there Livia. Maybe not maybe but yes I can hear it in your voice. What does this SEAN IN ALERT ON I? I don't know how long have you been married? It'll be a year next month. This is our first sight. Yeah I'm sorry I can hear the heartbreak in your voice inside the same page with money. Churkin I guess this. So what's what's a disagreement you'll have at your house look like When you come to terms when you come to collaborative terms together you have other disagreements at the House that on any number things where you're going to eat No no you're just all page. Where on everything except for that? So I'm going to tell you something crazy. This is going to be. This can be a great moment for you to honor one. Another how you respect each other and how you worked together on the other end of this deal day I she. She mentioned out of the gate. This idea of head of household and decisions. I've seen that just tragically abused over the years that sentiment this idea of fifty one forty nine voting power or I get the final say. What does that? What does that mean to you? The Well it always comes up when it's being used as a weapon. Yes this time it comes up And so you know when you know. Sharon is about a strong willed woman. She'll run into and and very bright so there's two problems So not going to be manipulated and not going to be told what to do And yet on occasion she because of other everything else is right. But I don't ever tell her I'm head of the House that just really wouldn't work to me the hassle. I guess what I get to be. You know right to me. That phrase head of the household means means. I'm in charge of serving serve everybody. I'll carry the burden I get. I get to serve everyone here and the problem is is that the People. I'm serving in the case of a living of you. Olivia is that You don't feel like you're being served you feel like he's being served no. He's buying a house that he wants that you feel like you can't afford and so You know this is more like a a a dictatorship than it is a thing. And that's what's breaking down here. So what John said earlier? Though is fabulous. Because this is if you guys can sit down with your pastor or a good marriage counselor and Develop some tools for handling conflict. That don't involve you automatically Forgoing your intelligence or your analysis of something In the name of him being the head of the household but instead he actually is serving the household and has made a very good case that that instead of just getting his way but if you learn how to work through conflict together here this could be a real wonderful opportunity. Because you haven't had enough conflict. Sounds like you agree on everything. That's just kind of ridiculous. We don't agree on anything. We argue about everything. But we're hillbilly. So that's okay we that's how we express love but I'll tell you this especially out of the gate. I mean I I can hear the pain in your voice out I know this is heavy. I don't make light of it. This is what is challenging. But what what's part of what's heavy. I think if I'm hearing you right Libya is you have this deep desire your two different principals. You're trying to adhere to at the same time in conflict with each other. You want to adhere to the principle of honoring your husband's position and you want to adhere to the principle that your brain is telling you is the right thing to do with money and those are both things and so you know in hours also third one in there. I bet you feel responsibility to be the peacekeeper in that house to. Oh and that will way that will break a woman's soul. Is this this this? This felt need to make peace and to give up on herself and what she knows to be right in service to. Let's just not ruffle the feathers. Okay men There's a wonderful book out that my friend ECKRICH did Called love and respect men. Have this huge. Desire for respect women of shoe desire to be loved and he goes through and does a wonderful job of unpacking that An but respect is not acquiescing and parking your brain at the door and I. It's not it's not abandoning. You know. Let let's take it to an extreme. Okay it's not this but let's just say he decided I think doing cocaine is really cool. you know. Are you supposed to respect and go along with that in the name of him being the head of the household no no? That's that's asinine. Of course not okay and so. That's that's what that's the the same decision making paradigm that we're coming into here. You've got a thing where you're looking at him going. No that's dumb but I want to respect. I'm going to respect you and give you the dignity of this but I you know me going along with you. Doing something dumb is not honoring the position of head of household right. Olivia Your Voice is important of. So He's lucky to have married somebody with a brain. Yay and somebody who's got a tender spirit values your relationship. What a gift you are. What a gift. You're find somebody that you can mediate conversation and blame it on some knuckle headed pseudo doc. On the radio you can say hey guys. We need to talk somebody. Help you navigate the tools. The help you navigate the the boundaries of this first this first discussion this first disagreement and values And if you guys can develop a model for solving conflict that doesn't always end in while you have to go along because I'm here the household then you're developed a cool model won. You won that that's worth it here. That's more important than a fifteen year mortgage. It's the marriage the marriage inquiries in challenges only get more complex from here. This is the hardest one we got the books from the bookstore. Kelly still I if we got him we got. I think we've got them in here if we do her. One love and respect if not. If we don't have my I found out you just go buy one but if we got one we'll send you. We used to carry them in the bookstore because wonderful marriage but Libya made my day today so for Sharp Young Lady. Sharp Young Lady. Jane's shows as producer. Kelly Daniel Associate producer and phone screener. Dr John Delaney. Co-host this hour here. On the Dave Ramsey show who the middle of these uncertain times Ramsey solutions wants to give you some hope for the very first time ever. We're giving you financial peace university free for fourteen days go to Daveramsey dot com slash. So you can watch from home. Hey if you've got questions about retirement investing becoming an everyday millionaire go bigger and broader with my man Chris Hogan on the Chris Hogan shout. I am excited to be able to talk to you all weekend and week out. We're going to focus on your calls and it's going to focus on building wealth investing and how to become an everyday millionaire. Subscribe to the Chris Hogan Show wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey James producer of the Dave Ramsey show. This episode is over but check the episode notes for links to products and services. You've heard about during this episode. Thanks for listening.

Dave Ramsey NBA Chattanooga Atlanta United States Ramsey solutions Olivia Ken Coleman Scott John America Tennessee State Agency Dr. John Mestre Josh
Session 98: Showing Up When You Want to Lay Down

Therapy for Black Girls

37:17 min | 2 years ago

Session 98: Showing Up When You Want to Lay Down

"Welcome to the therapy for black girls podcast, a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr joy Hardin Bradford a licensed kala gised in Atlanta, Georgia for more information or defined therapies, visit our website at therapy for black girls dot com. And while I hope you love listening to and learning from the pie past it is not meant to be a substitute for relationship with a licensed, mental health professional. Thanks so much for joining me possession. Ninety eight of therapy for black girls cast a few weeks ago on session ninety two. You heard my conversation with Melissa who shared incredible information about living your life with the bipolar disorder. Well this week Melissa's back because she felt like there was something else. She really wanted to make sure she shared, and that's tips for how to show up when you really just want to sit down. We'll find ourselves in the same patterns over and over and over again, we have life lessons to learn that will have it really mastered. And so if you're engaged in patterns, whether it's the people or the things are the outcomes, then it's a good sign for you pick back into pay attention to what's happening around you. But before we get into that conversation. I wanna show some low our sponsor for this episode natural issues natural issue is the world's first vegan. High-performance haircare line that delivers the results of twelve products. In only three it's designed to reduce ham spin on hair care and is proven to save up to eighty percent of time on wash day natural issues was founded by innovator Gwen Jamir who is the first and only African American woman to hold a pet in on a natural hair care product. These products are great specifically for busy women with curly in coyly hair. Also known as foresee hair, and they are all natural. They are so fate Paran mineral oil petroleum gluten and cruelty free. I've been using the products where month now and y'all I don't think there's any going back for me. I've been using the products from my list outs in each time. I was my hair has fewer tangles takes list time for me to twist and the moisture is off the charts. These really are clutch products for sisters who don't have a ton of. time, but still won't fabulous hair. So if you want to cut down on the amount of products, you use and get some time back in your busy schedule than I definitely recommend. You try them. You can find the natural issues products in over twelve hundred Sally stores nationwide. Are you can buy them online at save time on wash the dot com. L? Let's get into our conversation with Melissa. And the reminder, Melissa Eiffel is a licensed clinical social worker in both New York and Maryland and has twenty years experience working with communities of color in various capacities, Melissa is passionate about her work with young adults, especially women of color with a history of trauma, and those who are in transition seeking to learn how to manage their emotions have better relationships and take their life to the next level in this conversation. Melissa shares the four steps she uses with her clients to help them show up during the difficult times. We all face how you know when his time to push through versus take a step back. And of course, she shared more of her favourite resources, while you're listening to the Assode make sure to let us know what you think I sharing your thoughts with us on social media using the hashtag TB g in session is our conversation. Thank you so much. Join us again today. Melissa. Oh, absolutely. You know, told you I'm open to come back, and I'll just bring myself back here whenever I feel like it whenever you just want to chat about something else that you think is important as some excited to have you back, Melissa. You know, we got great response. I'm sure that you have gotten lots of comments messages episode talking about life with bipolar disorder. You know, it was very hot topic in lots of people really appreciate it, which you head share. And so I'm glad that you could join us against day to talk more about like how you continue to show up even when it feels very difficult. Yeah. I found that in, you know, just personal experience in recent months and the work I'm doing with my clients that this is something that people really struggle with in. So I just thought that, you know, talking about it would be timely for things that I see happening without relation to that service. Yes. So can you talk to us more about like where would you even start? You know, like, let's say somebody struggling with something. Really big. They just, you know, don't even know like how do I even pull my life back together? At this point. What kind of things are where would they may maybe even start with trying to, you know, put one foot in front of the other his they actually came up with like a cute little acronym. Royalties. I think is cute. Acronym. Yes. Level Akron, and it's packed key ACT. So I like to think of it as make a pack with yourself for your healing. Right. And so the first point is always to have a plan. You know, a lot of times we wait until something has happened in our ally. Or until we're feeling a certain type way to sort of like thinking about like, what should I do here? But in the middle of a crisis or in the middle of coming in the Mulsim a- moment is not always the best time sort of trying to think about what you need to be going to feel better. If you invested time in getting to know yourself on everyday basis, knowing the things that bring you join like knowing the things that are triggers for you like, no, we like things that you respond best to if you invest a lot of pre work in to developing. Your life that way that it gives you the ability to develop a self care plan that will really help you during times. I'm really glad you said that Melissa because I do think a lot of time, you know, even there's the misconception. That therapy is only for like the crisis times. Right. So you know, when I hit red level rid the now's the time I need to call it there. But in which you're really talking about is all of you could be doing a head of a crisis of media even prevent crisis from happening. Yeah. Definitely, you know, what was interesting to me is if I recently read a article in I can't even really think about where I saw it. But it was talking about the fact that they did this study about people who had attempted suicide, and they interview them and something like fifty percent of those people had no history of the pressuring. They had no history of having suicidal art. It was just something that was in halted because they were dealing with something in the moment. And they didn't know what to do. And so we. Tend to create plans, you know, when we have these past experiences, or if we feel like we into that, you know, something might be happening. Even if we have the wherewithal to do it, then, but what we know is we get older is like will always be like. Thing difficult that will happen at some point in life is never this point to get to where life is just gonna cold at least not for most of us. So to understand yourself into you know, be so connected with yourself. You know, what your triggers are in? You know, what are the best interventions are tools to use your insert moments is the best way to assist, something recovering? When like shows up not if it shows up like when it show. Okay. So you're encouraging people to go ahead in him and plan, and we talked about this on the podcast before like self can't plan for how you regularly taking care of yourself using that can be a really important point of helping you to manage a knee life stuff that will of course show. Yes. Absolutely. Got you. Okay. So that's the p yes. The fast compete. That's the Pete. Now, the a is for acknowledged the other thing that I know for most of us as we don't like to feel pain, you know, pain is that thing that, you know. Everybody is trying to escape the like if we're hurting than it something wrong with but taking the time to acknowledge your pain into really curious about your pain, and you'll see as a clue for something that you really want to work on or shift or change gives you the opportunity to not try to push your feelings aside. But do some work around what it is that is bothering you and develop a sense of self or a life path that will also prevent these things from happening again to I found him our elicited that is really incredibly difficult for clients to do like this whole idea of like sitting with the pain in getting curious because that's not something that, you know, we're like typically taunt, and you feel very uncomfortable. So how would you encourage people would do they need to do to to even start trying to sit with them? Or I think that's a good question. So I think getting comfortable with this come. For is the first thing that I always encourage people to do so yes to being with paying uncomfortable. If feels crappy we wanna push aside. And I just think that must idol perspective we are well trained to not want to be uncomfortable. But if you look at a pain from a perspective of business, telling me, something, and you can see that. Okay. If I can set aside time to engage in it. I mean, obviously, you don't want to sit all day, right? You don't want to constantly be in gauging with your pain point all day. But if you can Senate side time and space to be able to engage in the feeling then you can actually come out on the other side of it. See what happens when we try to push off this feeling of pain is we often dull other emotions, and we miss out on joy, you know, happiness love. Because those things acquire a certain amount of bone ability. That will bring you pain as well. So the more you practice getting comfortable with being on constable, you know, sometimes than it'll give you the opportunity like when you have difficult times to engage with your pain point, like even if it's just short bursts of time throughout the course of a day or in not often think about it. You know, like, let's say you get a headache. Great like, you may grab some Tylenol. But you know, that make the pain go away. But you also want to examine like, okay. Is there something that may be going on? That is giving me headache drinking enough water. You know, like what kinds of things may be going on in feels like that be similar or mental health? Right. That you may use these coping strategies rights, try to help minimize the pain. But you also want to sit with it to see. Okay. Where is being coming from? Right. Definitely because you might grab Tylenol or you might grab something for Headey. But you know, if you're not paying attention to where the pain is actually coming from Amy's, radiating your net or your arm. Right. So with the same sort of concept. Absolutely. If you don't take the time to identify what it is it your feeling than you might be trying to like number feeling, but that's not actually the thing that needs to be paying attention to. I think the other piece of acknowledging how you feel as well. Now that you bring that up is that we often label emotions based on the emotions that were most familiar with. So if you tend to feel anger or you allow yourself to feel anger, or if that's the emotion that sorta bubbles up to the surface all the time, then you may may whatever you're experiencing as anger, and then you may address the situation as such. But if you really curious as to why you're feeling what you're feeling. Maybe it's not anger. Maybe it is. -pointment restriction sadness. Heartbreak lonely men. And if you don't get curious about that like addressing being angry with someone is a different sort of conversation been addressing aloneness or disappointment. That's a really good point, Melissa. I mean, because then of course, leads you to have to maybe handsome difficult conversations with people or do you need to like get your boundaries. You know? So I think it feels like acknowledging the pain peas into lots of different areas. Definitely, absolutely. Okay. All right. So what is I see? So our seat is compartmentalizing unfortunately because we are dull tting, and because we are engaged in life. And we have to do certain things throughout the course of our day to be able to pay our bills or just even eat ourselves. We can't engage in our pain everywhere. We can't engage in are paying with everyone. So you have to be able to know what are your safe spaces? So do you have the type of work environment? That allows you to be a motions that allows you to be transparent when you show up to work is your supervisor really accommodating, or the I mean, I'm the type of supervisor do have staff, and you know, they have come to work if we have cried together, but then I've been in other work environments where because of the type of work that we were doing really have that amount of flexibility. So you have to spend some time really thinking about the environment. You're in. And how do you need to show up? So you know, what that might mean is if you know that you need to reserve or have a certain amount of emotional energy to be in certain places into show up as your best south. Maybe you're not doing everything that you used to do before if you're going through a difficult time, and you may have had a day in the past. Maybe you went to the jam works school than hung out with a whole bunch of friends came home did homework if you're going with difficult time, you might not be able to keep that same schedule. You might have to shift. How you spend your time to be able to deal emotionally with challenges if the same thing with who you spend your time with so understanding safe spaces and safe people can't share all of you with everyone. We have friends who you know. Maybe we can be completely. Agreable and transparent with because the they show up for us in very specific ways in encourages. But then we have other friends who we know that. Okay. If I speak to her this way, she's respond to me in this way in this specific moment. I don't have the capacity for that. So you have to understand your environment and be able to the Bella ways to address your needs in different moments in with different people to keep yourself state during these times, some leads he uses Melissa because I know, of course, they're compartmentalizing can be super helpful right leg that is a real real like lifestyle, right to know. How to move in different phases, which you can share with who wouldn't whatever. But I also think it is one of those things that we kind of sometimes like overly rely on and get really really good at compartmentalizing. And did you see a whole host of other issues? You talk a little bit about that. Yes. So often. Sometimes people think about compartmentalizing in stuff. Right. Real good job because they're stuffing their motion away. So this type of compartmentalizing is it. Stuffing your emotional way. It's not saying I'm just not gonna deal with this thing because I need to be present in these places is saying that I understand that are different places in times in people who I can share with. So you're still making the choice to share. You're still getting curious about how you feel right? You're still engaging in your self care plan. You're not ignoring you know, you can't sex pain away. You can't drug pain away. You can't even be mad all day in the church in your pain. So people think about compartmentalizing and they think they're just like stopping near motions into this. Nice little box. Enclosing it out and just putting it on a show. That's not compartmentalizing what that is is your essentially into nihil and you're trying to ignore. How feel though it's not that way. Talking about issuing out the places spaces in times to deal appropriately. With Howie feels that you're actually working through your emotions in safe environment. And you're not further damaging yourself during this time because if you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position at work, and like work isn't the best place to be vulnerable than you might be meeting other situations that can just exacerbate whatever challenges, you're hap- guys. You think that's such an important distinction? You know, so you're talking about like, okay, I'm gonna read this up put it in the closet intellect combined from from work. Not I'm gonna show this all the way to the back of the closet until somebody finds his five years from now exactly or I'm like carrying with me. But I think it's in the closet. Around and it's actually on my back. And so on it's off all day or on the Birgit Sears all day. It's not that we're actually addressing but we're addressing in the best environment with dress. So can you say more about them and listening because I do think that that does happen sometime that you think that you have kinda either stuffed it away or you think that you are comportment allies ING, but it's actually of leaking out in typically other people can see this more in clearer than you gain. Yeah. I mean, you know, we all have triggers than we all have things that were reactive to and one of the questions that get no very often as well. How do I laugh he'll how do I know that my work is when is this going to be over in? What I tell people, you know, there is always going to be more work to do where we're all, you know, growing consistently trying to figure out this in call light. But if you find yourself in positions where you are having. Being emotionally reactive experiences. Meaning someone says something to you in is still get angry or someone does something to you in you instantly, have a response, and you don't really know where that response is coming from or your sold use to simply responding to situations. You don't even have the capacity to think about what you're spending too. That is a good indicator that you still have some healing to do. You know, when people say, well, you know, I don't even know this is something that that that bothers me that something that you need to impact. Because that that's really means that it's a loaded situation. It's something from your past. And you really don't need to know how it still impacting your life to that in India? You think there's any way to like besides kinda just being very aware in like paying attention to like how you're reacting, and what kinds of you're having you think there's a way to like really examine what those things are for you. Like what those sugars are for you. Whether there are some things that you're kinda carrying around that you don't know you're having emotional reactions to. Well, I mean, you know, obviously, a huge mindfulness fan. So I do think that you know, mindfulness and paying attention to yourself is the number one way. But I also think paying attention to people's reaction seal is another way, you know. We don't always have the opportunity to see ourselves. We don't give ourselves that opportunity. So unless you are super mind or will personal journaling you can go back in need your journal. You know, like would you have clues? But most of us it's about the types of relationships that we have with people if you find that you're receiving feedback from people that consistent a new really don't know what people are talking about. That's often the clue that there's some work that you need to do. Or if your relationships or situations in like looking for really aren't panning out in the fame wave that you envision your life painting out. That's also often a cool that you have some work to do. We. Ourselves in the same patterns over and over and over again when we have life lessons to learn that we haven't really mastered in. So if you're engaged in patterns, whether it's the people or the things or the outcomes than it's a good sign for you to take a step back into pay attention to what's happening around you. Yeah. What is the saying? Like wherever you go there. You are. Right. So let me so we're gonna say people always say, well, you know, what I'm just gonna move because. You're going to be there. No matter where you why. I'm not sure where you're going. You know, right, right. Yeah. I mean, there is a whole tendency. Like, okay, this situation is not working for me. So maybe I need a new job. Or maybe I need a new partner. Maybe I need to move to a new city. But really if the issue is something that's going on with you that you have not resolved in work through you're going to bring that to the new job than you relationship. New city. Absolutely absolutely annual finding yourself having the fame sort of reaction the things all the time. While like, why are people so screwed up all employers suck in the site? Oh, you like you been the consistent with every job every relationship every landlord. I mean. Absolutely. You take you wherever you are. And you have to give yourself the opportunity to understand sometimes you are wrong. Right. Like, you're not the person always in the right or like, someone is always doing something to you. You have a role to play in whatever's happening in your life. You know, I think that. That could be interesting to kind of unpack also Melissa kinda given especially, you know, for black women, given the sexist and racist. And you know, all of the other is environments that we find ourselves in. I think that's sometimes it can be hard to like what is my own stuff versus what is the environment. Though there we that. You can you know that maybe you help your clients try to figure out like what is yours would somebody else in all? That's a that's such a deep question. So I do think that whenever I'm talking about social constructs in session because I think you know, how we show up as especially black women. I think in the work place is often like a double-edged sword because we don't wanna fall into the trope of being the angry black woman, and we don't wanna fall into this place of not feeling like where you know being offensive. And if he can't express ourselves because that creates its own challenges in a number. I am more inclined to have conversations with clients about how they feel as individuals, and what do they seem playing out in work environments or in environments that may be prone to a social construct that are similar to patterns. That may play out in other environments in their light. And then what does that mean to you? Because if you receive the same messaging at work as you received at church or from your partner, meaning that has to do with how society views women, but you know, making that has to do with how you show up as an individual. You know, are you showing up as individual the way that you want to show up at versus how you want other people to see you. And so what does that mean to you will you are as person as in? How is that playing out in the environment? In the other piece, too is are getting the results that you want. Because while there is some truth to sexism racism on. We still have to function in environments that are not necessarily always welcoming us, and so paying attention to if the results that were receiving are the results. That want. You know, are there ways to still be authentic in to receive the results that we're looking for is often conversation than I have with my clients while yen. I do think it's important to also think about like how you may have changed your behavior to, you know, maybe show up in an environment that wasn't very welcoming. But it's not actually something that you want to continue like, maybe you have gotten really hard for you have, you know, us anger or something as a way because you felt like you needed to in those moments, but maybe that type of behavior is no longer serving you. So is this something that you can take off at some point and say, okay, I don't have to be this person anymore. Right. Right. Because ultimately, we are some total of our experiences. But if you pay attention to your experiences, and your behaviors enough to know that yes, I might be more inclined to respond this way. Because of things I've been will you can choose to do something different. But you can make a choice to do something. Different. And I think that that is not something that's ingrained enough in us. You know, like we're often sort of total amp Hawaii. I'm like me or you don't like me. Will you love me? You don't let me just take me as I am. And while some of that is true. You know, people really don't have to take you as you are can make the choice. You know, not take you all and just put you that. Right. So you have to know if that's okay with you know, if you mean shoe function differently to be able to have the life that you want to have not like that was even to you because of the experiences, very good bleeds. So it is our team alyssum. So our tears time time healing is not something that is going to happen overnight. You know, once again, as I said earlier, there's always this magic question, you know, that I hear so many clients acts when they begin services is so. Tell me how many sessions will it take me to feel better. It's have to come here. You know twice a week for six months, and unlike in that way, you know, the kind of work that I do f- know are absolutely some rate brief two treatments as like manual is treatments that might take up in certain that in a certain period of time. But then even with those realities they can't really tell you exactly how you're going to feel and by went, right? We can talk about learning certain skills about factors in things we may even being a place where -veloping your plan, but to really get to this point where you are gauged in your healing in. You're noticing not your aunt is your experiences are different. It takes time minutes different or everything person. I think the more that you can be comfortable, or so, you know, learn to become. Able with the process, then I think that it gives you the opportunity to take your time. Give yourself some grace be gentle with yourself. But to also do better for yourself. The next time to not engage in the same patterns next time, the more we try to rush the process or retry to know stuff our feelings away, or we try to, you know, try myself with the process the more inclined you are to engage in the same patterns of behavior that will cause you to make the same steaks with have this with those bat are creating this very pain that you're trying to get away from so you'll find yourself in the situation again. So definitely give yourself some time to heal. I really liked the way did you put them in this in terms of keeping yourself Greece? Giving yourself time, but also holding yourself accountable for maybe doing better the next time because I think when you go too far on either of those extremes. Than you are not getting closer to the results that you say you wanted whether you are too lenient with yourself or too critical of yourself then or both of those things are moving further away from your results right accountability is critical because we aware often so used to what we do. And we do what we do. And we know how to do what we do. Well, that, you know, either we are overly critical as you stated or we can be sold lenient with ourselves because it's that place that we feel most comfortable because we don't wanna be uncomfortable. We don't want to feel that we're not understanding our own path in this moment. And so what that does is a, you know, a allows us to kind of go back to what we used to do. And yes, we have to hold ourselves accountable for joint something different effort doing the work, right? For for being mindful of our reaction. Engaging in our plan and doing the things that we know we need to do with for in our healing. So this is incredible information Melissa, but I'm also thinking of like what's the line? So I do think it's really important to like make a plane like you said in you know, we still have to show up life, even though it's difficult. But I do think, of course, that there aren't times where like you just cannot even get to that plays or like, so you may need to consider like a leave of absence from work or consider taking us a Mestre. All can you talk about where that line would be like, how do you know when to make his plan for yourself? And when you do need to take a break. So I think we should all have a plan consistently about what we need when we know that we respond to certain way too difficult times like for infants. I recently went to allow the life transition. If felt like all the same time, basically as I worked in my own processes with each transition. I had a particular days where I was instantly triggered by something. I mean, literally I had a moment I saw someone in angry angry. But because I have a good friend. I know that this is someone I can talk to when I need support. I know exactly what to call. Exactly what to say. I knew how she was going to respond within minutes it assisted me in resolving a moment that in the past for me like really with a set me on fire will, of course of my whole debt. Right. So I think that we all should have a plan. We should all know basic things about ourselves imports that we need to be able to make it through. You know, like there are times when you need to disconnect. And there are times when you need to take time for yourself. So that you can really really focus on your healing. And the thing about that is functioning if you absolutely cannot function. Your mood is so low that you're not able to get up out of bag and not able to take care of the basic necessities that you need, and you can't even really put one foot in front the other. Then you might need to take leave of absence, you might need to call in sick on a particular day. You might mean to, you know, take some time to regroup. And that is also that is also something that can be a part of a plan for you. Because if you don't have enough savings, if you don't have any time, if you don't have a job that allows you to take any kind of medical leave than like that can create some barriers view. So if you like know yourself while enough that you know, that you have these moments where you need to sort of take a step back, then you can always put the proper measures in place to be able to do. But you need to do to keep yourself saying Ganges, I do think that that isn't important mind in you know, like you said an important. Distinction to know. We'll we'll do I need to keep, you know, working the plan or do I need to take a step back. So that I can get a place where I'm more functional. Yeah. Definitely. And you know, and everything really works together in tandem to I think we tend to think about things from a perspective of like, all or nothing. But you know, maybe taking step back is your safe space. Right. You know, maybe that issue compartments allies -ation for like this moment in time and not being afraid to check in with yourself consistently through your process. I think that's a part of tying to because you know, once again, like healing isn't linear. Right. So you might have a good day today. And then you might have a day tomorrow that really set shoots place where you need to take back today. But yesterday, you were able to fully engage though being able to like jump in out of the process as you mean is a heart of one understanding yourself also giving yourself fine numbing. Numbet? So are there any additional resources that you would have particular to bisbee on the ones that you shared in the last episode? Yes, Saul Bonaire Brown has an amazing book that's called rising strong. And you know, in that book, she talks about a lot of different that and this process of you know, how to heal into writing style with, you know, different pain points or experiences annual life into understand yourself better through the healing process. So I think that is an amazing that do recommend people as well. Got you and remind us where we can find you on line, Melissa your website as well as your social media handles. So my website is Melissa I fill and E L I S S A, I F, isn't Frank. I l L dot com and my Instagram which is where I took completely. Am is Melissa. I hope L C S. W. Perfect. Of course, all that will be in the show notes for people to find it. Well, thank you for joining us again with us. I really appreciate you coming back to chat with us a same here. Thank you so much for having me. And I always love talking to you being you, I'm so thankful Melissa was able to come back and share expertise with us today to find out more information about her practice or to check out the resources that she shared. Visit the show notes at therapy for black girls dot com last session, ninety eight and don't forget to show some support for our sponsor for this episode natural issues is the world's first vegan high-performance haircare line that the livers the results of twelve products in only three you can find the products in over twelve hundred Sally stores nationwide or online at save time on watch the dot com. Remember that if you're searching for therapists in your area checkout directory at therapy for black girls dot com slash directory and make sure the visit our online store at therapy for black girls dot com slash out where you can find our guided apper mation track break-up journal and your therapy for black girls shorts and t shirt. It y'all so much for joining me again this week a Lou forward to continuing this conversation with you all real soon. Take care.

Melissa pain Melissa Eiffel partner bipolar disorder Gwen Jamir Atlanta Senate Dr joy Hardin Bradford Maryland Assode Melissa I Georgia New York Akron headache Headey supervisor Mestre
3265: All Things Must Pass w/ Myq Kaplan

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

43:01 min | 1 year ago

3265: All Things Must Pass w/ Myq Kaplan

"Welcome to Keith. And the girl. I'm Keith Malley. I'm Canada. You have an only in New York live. Show the PODCAST. You do trace it car Nazo Andrea Allen and everybody can check it out live. How 'cause they can't come to New York now? No one can go anywhere. I'm in New York and I can't even come to New York so You go to only New York dot event. Bright DOT COM. The live show is next week. Eight to ten eastern and it will also be in our social media the Lincoln our social media but only New York dot event bright dot com virtual of course will have a Q. And A. and everything so hope everyone could make it. Today's gas was a finalist on last comic standing appeared on the tonight. Show with CONAN. O'brien now that's all right. Conan O'Brien does due to the tonight. Show right he did. Conan O'Brien did the tonight show. That's right right if you could tell me. What else did because this papers? Mestre appeared on America's got talent. The podcast is Broccoli an ice cream your palate. Mine Mike Kaplan. Hey It's great to be here talking from different places and it's rude to interrupt each other so I'll just talk for the rest of the time you know what's funny is we're not looking at each other. Sometimes we go over zoom and we we can see each other and we didn't this time and when Keith was like Oh this isn't right. I'm like Oh my God. I hope he's about to rip the paper. I got experienced this thing where the now like well. How's he going to get out of the ripping of the paper? They just said Oh my God he just ripped again. This is hilarious. I am now you're fan. Took a minute but thank you. How do you how do you like? Mike? This New Way of living not counting deaths. Of course that given I mean new drive you crazy being locked inside other than not performing people die. I Love. I love the way that you're asking this question because other other than people dying and getting sick if I can include that as well and not knowing about the future of their whole and we check on that. Because you're you're changing it Keith. A KITTY SAY THE SICK PEOPLE. Also please know you're still able to get sick sometimes. Okay but but the deaths debt not counting the death I mean. Here's the here's I don't like it but here's thing that I do like about it. Is that My New Album Aka was originally going to be entitled all killing aside because of all of the death and uncertainty. We were like. Maybe that wouldn't be the thing to call an album that comes out in the middle of a global pandemic so question when you're like other than all the death I'm like. That's a perfect promotional unit of my album. So thank you so much. I am happy to be here. You're such professional put paper back together. I wish there was a sound that could do that. Fantastic sincerely during these times to answer your question. I'll do real do real fast. Which is it will still take a long time. So the point is that. I'm still me but I do take even longer to answer questions. I'll know you know what's great is Remotely Mike Kaplan is a very warm person There was my stand up. This year was kind of the core of it was how I don't know where I mad what I'm doing physically getting lost outside two blocks away from my house but then all of a sudden you know everybody's locked inside. I picture people here in that right now. We can't go anywhere anyway. Asshole and look out right. Let's wait until next year when I can be lost. This dynamic really makes you work out your timing. You know it really does. Yeah jokes unless it really makes you work out your timing. Do What do you find? Are you in your girlfriend? Learning more about each other being stuck with each other. Yeah we I mean you know you're never really stuck with each other you could go out into the world and die but that I mean or you could stay in the house. There's a lot of places you can die inside outside in yourself but There's a thing that I I heard about. Distance in relationships. In long distance relationships it's been said that distances like A. A with the wind a great wind that will if your love is like a great fire it will fan it like a forest fire if your love is a a small flame like a candle extinguish it and I think that the proximity is the same. Think you know you hear about a lot of people getting on each other's nerves because I'm not saying that our flame like look we have our flame and you have your flame and I don't want to say I don't aflame. Shame but here in in this home we are. We were already kind of quarantining in a way. 'cause Rini broke her ankle in December so she was in the home from December through March when she finally has a heeled ankle right when the pandemic starts in there like you might not leave home. She's like I've been. I've been swing in three bats Now and she's not going out of the park and so we just just stay in different rooms and my voice carries but we got our noise canceling headphones. So we're doing okay. Well speaking of finger voices carry. Okay this is I WANNA do a segment of the show called. Let's James irks. He's because he's too perfect. Okay here we go so. I noticed that he talks a lot to himself. He's working and he'll go all right. I just need this real quick. Like what do you need nothing? I'm just talking out loud. I'm like we all talk out loud thinking out loud and I know you corrected was stupid and you sound like an idiot. But here's how it helps he. I I now ignore him and he has to say my name if he's he's talking or otherwise. I don't know what he's talking about but when we play poker next to each other not looking at each other's screens of course but hill. He's so used to speaking out loud that I hear him going Q. Nine a poker face which is poker voice okay. I hope nobody can see that. I have a great hand but I'm going to try to love them and they'll think that I don't have a great hand. I'll win everybody. Why is everybody out well but the the thing is is I go all right. I'm GonNa tell on you because you talk to yourself and you just told me your poker hand and that's hilarious demand. He goes all right. Make sure you tell them that. I still one that hand. So and I'm like I'm not going to but here we are. I remember years ago being in a relationship and being mad at some fight and I didn't have the words to deal with that and so I started like I'm storming out of the out of the house. I'll be back when you realize Iraq and I go but it's winner in. It's freezing in three minutes later. I'm like I think she learned her lesson. You bring you bring up a great point like You know yeah. I can leave the house but I'm going to die. That's how much this argument is upsetting me. I could die. It's not what you want now. Don't leave okay. I won't but I want you to know. Keep is always learning the perfect lessons that we want him to. That is exactly what we intended. Oh Yeah Can I. Here's the thing that you reminded me of climbed. I is Sometimes when I'm on the phone with Zach Sherwin my friend He will be like shopping at trader. Joe's let's say in the in the past when he would leave his house and then he'll get up to the cashier and it'll be like. Hey how's it going and then I'll answer as though he's talking to me the great. I mean we've been on the phone for the whole time. He's like and then the cashiers like how'd you know my name and then time yesterday or the other day can there was talking about seeing the TV. Show money heists who's on episode six hundred. Yeah I just started the second season you like it. I really liked it at first but I have to admit I already watched. I think it's at twelve or thirteen episodes per season so I already saw the first season and we're only on day three and they remind you how many hours and in how many days in and I don't want to spoil it but by day. Three people are learning existential crisis about themselves. You know these are the robbers There was a infidelity already in a sense again. I'm trying not to give it away spoiled but there's robbers in money heist. It's it's not. I don't know how to explain it. Without spoiling it everything got ridiculous so quick. It was like you allow children to bank with a very good plan. And you're just holding your breath that they do it right and now I just sit there and go well. That's ridiculous. Well this is ridiculous. We'll that wouldn't happen and excuses like you know you're in this. You know you want to you. Know you can't stop. It can't just play and let me talk but what how do you make you make fun of me for? I'll see the wish master part seven and you'll you'll say well what's wrong with you and I'll say while I as Corny as it was. I did like the very first one. You didn't even like the very first season stuck in. Yes but I liked the first few episodes and I like the idea of it and I like and I do get sucked into. I have to admit Syria so it has to be so bad. I have to not care about anybody but the thing is there's so many people to care about that. I can't get out of it. Yes I this show is stealing your life. You you're you're trying to pull a heist on it. You're like I hope that I'll pull it out in the end that I'll finally enjoy it if it's just there's just one person that I love. Maybe they can carry my love through the whole season. Even though I haven't anything that I like since three days ago or ten hours ago but I I hold it I I love your hope. Thank you have. You guys ever felt that way. You're watching it and you're not sure if you like it or not like I. Just I don't know I'm not going to recommend it to anybody because the ridiculousness is just way too ridiculous but I can't tell if I like it or not but I I want to watch it very weird whether it's a show or person I've always known if I like them after ten hours always I feel that way a little bit about the flash though. I'm I'm sure that I don't like it. But I do sometimes feel compelled to watch it which means I think I love it. I think it's like my family member now. I I love the flash even though I think that it is I I don't WanNa say stupid but it's stupid like can. I Hate My dad if I want him to keep emailing me you love something about talking to him. Right absolutely yeah. I saw the Westworld Season Finale the other day knowing that it's just GonNa kick me in the Dick but I still had to see it all because years ago I love. I love the very first season. Even that show doesn't even know what the fuck is going on. Now they go previously on Westworld. I'm like Oh you're gonNa tell me what happened this season so pictures and I'm like yeah. He died but I don't know who was the real him inside his robot body. They don't even know what's going on. Oh man you spoiled that. Westworld has robots. I don't know I think they did. Robots Mike can the robot so they can shoot you. They could glance at you. And then shoot you and everybody that was around you without even looking at you twice. Except when they have machine guns apparently robots don't know from recoil and they can't hit anything but if they're not automatic weapons. Yeah you're dead around a corner okay. So that's the kind of thing I'm talking about money heist and maybe this is going to be a tiny spoiler but the main person who's trying to get the negotiations happening The good guy They have time for a love affair. Day to they're they're having trouble in the middle of a divorce. This you know right away and it was from an abusive husband who they're trying to keep away from their kid. The kid keeps telling them they're not around day. Two of the highest. You Notion Sleep Day one and day two comes around and she has like a date with someone and you have to have a love affair in the middle of data to there's already You know cops have already been injured and you know it's a again I don't want to spoil it. But why do why do we have to have insertions of these other timelines stories when you're trying to tell me that? This person is an intelligent human being and does her job so well that she's neglecting her kid but she has time to fall in love again within three days of the Heist while this is your problem for binge watching the TV. Show your loud to binge-watch it. It still understood you take a break. You have to understand that between shows. Everybody got a good power nap they wanted. They want you to forget some of the things that you're watching like but that just happened four hours ago and they're like that was supposed to be four weeks ago. You weren't supposed to remember. This doesn't make sense other than based on what you said. The character is neglectful of their child. So maybe they're neglectful of their job their neglectful of everything. Let's go on a date. He I love when I when I helped write the story so it could make sense. I can justify continuing watching it. That's I'm I'm a great writer because I love this show. Apparently I mean you're you're a great writer of Your Own Story. You're like I'm the hero and I don't do things that don't make sense so there must be some way that it makes sense that I keep watching. I want it to be good. That's why I watched the show because I really believe in it. I I really believe it could be something on the inside. It's like a westworld robots with good show inside of it money highs turns out to be westworld. Just just watch all of Midnight Gospel. I told you to. Yes I'm like. Three episodes in the midnight. Gospel is so trippy. I've to pay attention so much especially with the cartoon part of it so This this show What is it Midnight what is it again. Night Gospel Midnight. Gospel by Duncan Trussell. Who is very into you? Know the the inside of your mind and how we work and of course. That's like way up my alley but one episode. You GotTa follow that deep stuff all the time while the cartoon characters on the screen are talking and they're the ones telling you the stuff but crazy shit is happening to them and you can't tell if it has to do with it or if it's a test of like can you stay deep while we do. Kooky Shit it's true it does. It does take like a mindful meditative practice to listen and watch when things are not. They don't always even go together. They're like just like within yourself as like. A Zombie. Apocalypse is exploding around everybody literally. Just look within yourself while someone's having diarrhea lake and let me tell you what I don't do while I watch midnight. Gospel that I do while I watch money. I played poker so I'm playing poker. I'm watching money boat with the other one. I have to like really focus. Watch it see what they're trying to say. See how I feel about it. And they're talking pretty fast here if I may Brief impression of zirk. Z's if he were one of the characters in money heist okay. So we're going to go into this bank and we're GonNa rob it okay. You're under arrest and gave it all away. You don't Kyle gives me a hard time that I can complain about movies like you know. They think like the the director personally rob money from me the way I hate some of this shit This classic Shane. I I don't know how that got over. Zero Percent Ron Tomatoes nevermind ninety seven percent. But you know what she she wanted to see that. Show Freud on Netflix with thanks. We saw the first episode of Freud. And it's Fe but it's based on. I guess a Freud was a was a great detective. She didn't now after an hour that the movie was dubbed. I am now the judgmental king. I have a badge if I tell you of movie was good or bad. You now have to believe me based on your test results. You did no for an hour that something was dubbed but you still feel you got all the nuance the show socks and you have to trust me. We're out for those reasons we are. It's very incredible rules of dating Keith. And Lord in your little cute voice interesting. How keep comes up with this? If you didn't know a movie was dubbed no right to know what something is good watch. It enjoy it. But don't don't try to tell me I'm wrong about them is studied these. Everybody's like they turn on she goes. We'll watch a movie. Should go to the bathroom or go. Oposite she goes now. You don't have to. That obviously means the movie sucks but you admit it you know if I may. I wanted to say that Keith. You are right and you are wrong you are. You are right that if you don't understand that movie is dubbed. Then perhaps you don't understand other things about the movie but that doesn't mean that you are all so that your views just be just because you know movies dubbed doesn't mean that you know anything else about things your I'll go to you be like. Is this movie dubbed like also? I think you're wrong to be so loud about it. I wish you were dubbed. And I furthermore think that every movie to you is money heist of the director taking your money Owen. Money Heist is dubbed. But they really do a good job. I don't minded and I preferred over reading. Well I'll tell you what I will give out. Say You have a point Mike? If after the show you tell me what your movie understanding score was let me know what kind of badge level you have and then I will debate. If it's worth my fair enough in other words is your tax return thirty percent you went to the movies. That's what you did. Was you know from Sometime last year I did join the. Amc movie you can see three a week program for like twenty bucks a month this coming. So they got you they. I got out of it like you know when this started but also not only because I can't leave my house to go to the movies anymore but because I then started going to see like move I was like well. I'm paying for it so I might as well go pay for it with my time as well and I saw I was like. I wouldn't have seen the Harley Quinn movie if I had my own money for it like. I don't regret that I did it but I am like well. What could I have done with you know? I could have cured a virus in that time. Was that slow. I mean it was. It seemed long. It was it was on a big screen. I can't tell if it was a long movie or just a tall movie. You can follow. Mike Kaplan on twitter and there's name of course Y. Q. Kaplan and he says let's just say that twenty twenty is our cheat year. That is one of the things I said on twitter. This is Mike without an audience. That is what I. I'm glad I can be my audience now. I remember By the end of two thousand nineteen. Everyone's like oh it's over to night. Two Thousand Nineteen was the worst twenty. Twenty it's going to be my year boy. Did the universe this to sit down and keep thinking about it. I knew it I knew. Twenty twenty wasn't mine. I felt it in January before news came out about the virus at all. Now not not now. No I saw by the way speaking of twitter. I see our Buddy Patrick Schroeder. You can follow astro time. And he says some. Please make me a face mask. That says this then. It's a picture that reads if you can read this. The bitch fell off. Felony me an awesome faith. That would be fun can I? Can I tell you one more tweet? I tweeted today. It's it's relevant. Thank you so much Then I'll see the rest of my time to the committee. It's a new quarantine game that I've come up with called science says says where I'm asking when you go out okay. Science says stay six feet apart. Alright ingest bleach science. Didn't say that's right. What a world of idiots I you know I. I was at the store today and how people don't just walk on the far side of the sidewalk. I'm not even saying jump to the other side of the street on the far side of the sidewalk is beyond me. How you go without a masking. Just walk in the middle. I agree and I. I'm trying not to because everyone's getting mad at runners they giving mad at you know. Generally people why they doing this perfect wind day. Doing and I'm trying not to do that. But we did take a walk around the block the other day and and people really do distance for the most part. There's somebody on the street or somebody on the sidewalk. And there's somebody across the street right. These this These two guys come walking down no mask and no inclination. I'M NOT GONNA at all move not even a little bit not even to pretend not even like we smell or something you know and I'm like we're going right on the street and I'm and I I don't know if I know how to whisper very well and now I have a mask on right so I think no one can hear me. Some people could knows what's going on. I'm sure everyone could hear me. Just judging them short. And just imagine with circuses. Saying fucking everything these guys are maybe. GonNa go to the left. Or maybe they're going to go to the right. Which way are we GONNA go? They're not gonNA go anywhere anyway. Let's take their money. Yeah we're both like just looking for the mute button for us before we talk but it's not there everybody is having a tough and I think well this too shall pass. And then they'll be happiness but then that's GonNa pass too so I don't know Keith. That was that was like. There's a zen like a Cohen. Then story that that reminds me of. Can I tell you I'll do it fast in three two okay There's a Chinese family That lives in a village. They have one horse. The horse runs away and people are like. Oh Man bummer. And they're like maybe as maybe no then. The horse comes back with a new friend found in the wild wild horse. Okay we have extra horse. They're like oh great. You got a new horse. Good news like maybe yes maybe no and then then the sun is in the families trying to chaim that horace and he gets on the horse and he gets thrown off any breaks his leg. They're like ooh that was bad. News there like maybe yes. Maybe no the next day. This is the last one the the army comes to town. And they start Drafting every able bodied man to go fight in the war that just started and now the sun doesn't go because he has a broken leg and like your son gets to stay. That's great news. Like maybe yes. Maybe no so. Yeah the happy missile. Pass them the thing that comes after that will pass and everything will pass but right now this things here so thanks for being here and and the title of that story is this too shall pass and the story passed to. So if you didn't like that halfway through but you're right everything pass. It seemed like the story could have been forever but I don't talk forever. I do stop and then I do start again and I do have another thing that I wanted to say but I forget what it was not. I remember here. It is sincerely that was a little journey just sincerely for the people who are expressing ideas. Like look. If I'M GONNA get it I'm GonNa get it. I'm going to go to this gathering I'm GonNa do whatever if it's God's will and I read a thing by Christian man who He was like look. God's will doesn't mean like God's Hey I'm GonNa jump in shark-infested waters and if God wants a shark to eat me that got sharks gonna eat me so might as well just jumping shark investor water because if that's your faith and that's your face so that sounds ridiculous to people and also it's not just you. It's other people that you can save by not going near that so I think what we've got out of. This is okay to jump in water right now just do it six feet apart from Shark. Yeah. We're good okay. I just wish more people me as the story goes what percent. Amman like a Netflix TV. I did appreciate the first-rate. When Microsoft were three four cents can based on what you said. That won't be too long ahead. I I that has baton you. You're you're saying that and it sounds like a joke but I also believe that you're sincere and it does sound like it's a nice thing. I'm almost nice thing to do. My girlfriend says that she's like you sound like you're joking. I'm like don't take it that way I've been I've been meeting with my nephew. Max I haven't been able to connect with other the nephews but we play an. I mentioned it before on this APP. Call together And he could play the memory game and whatever it isn't he could see me. I could see him and we could see the same game together. Then there's a drawing part decades it. I tell you this yet now okay. There's only know the memory game part. You know with cards and animals for the cards and I kick his ass. I don't know if he's any good at drawing but he's horrible at this memory. I even say I'm like we just saw the monkey on the top row. He goes to the second row. I'm like well that's another point for me. I know and it feels really good to be smart. Doesn't it forty six years on the fifth game? It gets a little boring honestly well. He's the cutest he's turning three this month and And I swear this is not going to be just A. I'm I'm doing the Mike version of this. This is not only almost over but I will not just be like. Isn't my nephew cute? There is a story here so we go to the drawing part and were drawing banana and he's drawing yellow and unlike a banana. Oh now I slipped on the band. I go well when I move front and back for the camera and he loses shit and I'm like this is great. Turns out it's not great. Be careful what you do to three year old now as soon as we get on to play games like I know he draws a line of Yellow and I'm supposed to fall all over myself for twenty minutes. I'm doing fake falls with this kid and as soon as I get on last time. He's like for Banana. I'm like Oh my God so Luckily my adult boyfriend has a muppet and the kid talked to them up and instead didn't make him follow bananas so I think he just likes me falling. I have two things to say. One is quick. I liked that the message of that story is be careful what you do to a three year old. I believe that is. You're you're a direct quote and come back and buy in the ASS banged up like the early. Snl people yeah all ladders. Second is I mean. Hopefully this kid will learn that a joke part of the thing that makes a joke a joke is surprise. And that if you do it over and over again then that's a song and a dance but like I remember. I babysat when I was a kid for these kids and they were like you want to watch this movie. Apollo Eighteen. I think or whatever it was apollo thirteen. Whatever the Apollo movie was with. Tom Hanks and I know I know it wasn't fair enough. And they were like. Oh get get ready for this part circus playing poker. They really get ready for this part because this part coming up is going to be really funny. A funny thing is going to be this guy guy's got to say a funny thing and he's got to say this thing and they just told me everything about the funny thing that somebody was going to say and then it happened and I was like yeah. That was funny and they're like why aren't you laughing right right? My my dad would do that with movies. It wasn't this but let's say it was the success in the kid goes. I see dead people. My Dad would say now. Keep that in mind. That's GONNA come up later. I'm very intelligent. And the end that he's been mind the thing that you're looking at and listening to goodbye for a person trying to play memory as well. Now look at that monkey. That's GonNa come up later so you probably saw. Donald Trump visits one of these a mask factories. A Hun- Honeywell Factory. That was turned into a place. That's making ninety five mask solely he comes in of course surprise. Surprise without the mask are no pictures of him every wearing a mask. It's a mask factory. There's a sign up that says where mass and everyone is wearing masks and he'll wear safety goggles but he wore the mask and obviously it's to show. Hey people are going to die. Yeah but we got to reopen the economy and don't be a pussy. I'm not pushing. Also everybody in that you go to meet the President. You are tested for this virus. Believe me okay. So he's not really putting himself a risk and being a tough guy but he's acting it he's acting like you know what we we can. We can go back to work if we want. Even the factory knows even though they're tested you should still wear a mask and starting to think that he's like not on our side. Didn't somebody brought up the point. Like Republicans. Here this Oliver Willis on twitter. I saw I definitely didn't predict Republicans would be so blamed with you. Just have to die. Usually they do a better job of dressing it up. Yeah they they used to be the ones that were pro. What is it life hard? Yeah but they're pro-life and then for the death penalty gotTa rights before your First Bertha there. I guess I figured it out honestly I here's what it is like. What whatever S- shall pass again right. I mean kind of like they for a before life begins there like they want you to go from not existing to yes existing and then once you do exist. They're just never happy with the state of where you are. Now they're like non-existence has got to be existence than existence has got end just like what they want everything to pass immediately right. Because don't get that help when you have the baby but you have to have the baby have it. Yeah they're yeah they're all. Yeah yes thank you thank you thank you. You don't have to fight me on every no you're right we we. I agree with you loudly. He put out trump retweeted the. I don't know if you saw this. Cinco de Maya just the other day yesterday and if my Spanish is correct and four years ago you may remember trump. Put out this tweet of him eating a Taco bowl saying they hispanics make such great Mexican food. And there's you know there's that gaff than in the background people are seeing this you sudafed from the UK that the stockpile like. That's because of the adderall or coke. Snoring problem then. There's a picture on his desk of his wife but okay as when she was twenty two. You know like all these weird things so people are like. Hey do you remember this from four years ago? Trump went you know what I'm on this one too. And he re tweeted himself. And then you see people like the act. I love it when trump's being a troll that is the one I never knew what a president did. This is the one thing you do. You don't troll. You do bring the country together or you pretend to how many of us being president was always just a figurehead position. Your job was to make both sides feel like they belong now. New York's not going to get help because they didn't vote for me. That's not how it works. We never assumed who we have to vote for. Who Wins because because the person that will win will help us in? The person that loses wall would've played at different Keith. I'm I'm the best getting people together. There's nobody better than me at getting people together as you noticed everybody got together to vote for me so obviously I know what I'm doing and if you disagree then you can die right. Remember when Bunt Benghazi was the Buzzword for Americans dive where it's seventy five thousand deaths here in America but okay two completely different. I don't like people who get diseases. I like my human strong. Goodbye dead people. He he's talking about you. The funding the Post Office. But he did send out so he wanted to sign all those Relief checks himself explained to them. You can't physically sign all released checks. He said we put our nate. My name on the checks and he said that will slow down sending people a checks and he goes okay. direct deposit the checks then. I'll send the letter saying. Hey It's me donald trump. Here's your check and that's what ended up. That's what happened so I wonder like do although stamps actually helped the post office 'cause I got a feeling. He started his own stamp company trump stamps. You know and then he gets a cut of that. Oh Yeah I actually have a trump stamp on my lower back a pussy and then it says grab it like you want it right. You know. He didn't buy forever stamps ahead of time. So maybe help the post office. I don't know see so good to us. I follow Molly McNair name. She is the wife of Jimmy Kimmel. And who the presence you know ended up picking on. Jimmy came on twitter saying he is terrible ratings. She said today. The president of the United States called my husband a quote Whacko last placer. It didn't even come up at dinner. Things are president called my husband a loser shit going on with that and our family. You didn't even bring it up the fucking world. If it didn't have real world consequences it would just be fascinating like what? What is this? This human? That's just like armored from any introspection any extra spent like who can can is there is. I mean there's something on the inside. There's there's a there's chemicals and matter and energy and brains that electricity. There's stuff that what what is happening. The westworld robot say Smarter Shit. Yea I I didn't watch the whole series but I bet tiger king said Smarter Shit by accident. Yeah yeah by the way. Did you hear they? Supposedly they haven't figured out that Nicholas Cage will play the tiger king. I think he just got it because his name is cage. Hollywood does not think things through the like okay. That's really a thing that happens sometimes in people's brains like you hear the word cage you're like good to play this guy. I think Nicholas Cage looks nothing like him so perfect. Here's a Little Fun News Elon. Musk is forty eight. He's dating the singer. Grimes thirty two. They just had a child together to explain the child's name right. The child is their same age. Somehow he really is smart. The name of the Kid. Assuming we're not being trolled is X. space the AP. That's really one letter. Space a dash twelve now. This isn't the virus cure. I don't know what it is. I JUST WANNA say. I think that a lot of people are giving them shit for this and clearly it's short. The name is short for Christmas. Aeneid A minus twelve by L. HEART. Is that so she did like a QA? But what's funny is accu- in Yeah Right. She does A and A. And people of course ask questions about the baby and she was like well. I don't know if I want to answer about that. I just told you about the baby. But anyway they say You know boys at a girl and she says we Let's see. Grimes revealed that a child will be allowed to quote. Decide their fate and destiny when ASKED ABOUT THEIR GENDER. She said quote. I don't WANNA say the gender of the baby because I feel like their privacy should be protected. I don't think they can consent to being famous or being in public. If you don't Wanna about my baby and I don't want to gender them in case that's not how they feel in their life. I don't know I just feel like it doesn't need to be known so as she does that. Qna This person on twitter prony pat whole he rates the alon boy or girl. Alani line rates back. Boy Oh shit you know. I really appreciate her. Because it's I don't know why that's the question I think we. We don't know what to ask when somebody's having a baby so we go boy or girl and even I'm inclined and honestly I don't give a shit if it has a penis vagina. Why do I WANNA know? That isn't doesn't that seem like a pedophile question to ask right what what's happening when the baby's born up you got one pointing. North. Okay now. What congratulations genitals next question? Yeah I go. I know a parent that didn't like the way their kid cut her own hair and I said to him I go. You don't want to find her attractive night. You don't WanNa fuck her. Okay all right. I was saying I. I've said this before my brother And Marcel Michael Marcella. They have two kids now. One is Just a few months old but when when people see Max he's got these long lashes and he's got some green in his eyes and so people go. Oh He's GonNa be a a lady killer he's going to really you know Blake. Just he's going to be like a smooth operator with all the ladies and it's so great. Elated Miller also sounds like a serial murderer I didn't intend but but So my brothers answer now is a. Oh No we're raising him as gay right like what are you. What are you doing? Are they on a date? No are you watching? Like they're on a date mean and he's he's he's going to be a lady killer and I go. You think so right I right. You like him to be to be generous to mow. Most people just want to say something. They just want to ask a question. They just WANNA like a comedian. Whose like some things are great with crowd work and then a lot of people are just like so where you from. How how what do what do you do? You know like you Mike. My point is I'm shaming those comics and Human. Those people talking to kids. Because I understand that feeling. You're confronted with a child and suddenly realize I don't really have real world questions for them and then and then you go. Oh let me. Just ask them to standard. What do you want to be when you grow up to five year old? Is I think a very stupid question and I think that as adults maybe we should come up with different ones are just shut. The fuck up and go. What color is your shirt who cares? I Love I love the idea of asking them different questions. Sometimes I ask how old they are and then I ask how old they wish they were. That's a followed ads. And then s them. What their favorite you know. Something is what do they? What do they love to do or make you know like what do they do like? What are you? What do you do a good question for a kid? What do you do I have no idea and then I shout like as if the parents asked me to ask them like I. I don't know find out all right. You WanNa get Mike's new album. It's called Aka. What does it Stanford's none of Your Business? We're halfway done apple. Music has it. Of course you can go to Blonde Medicine Dot Com Slash Aka but you can pre-order it. Right now be ahead of the game. It's almost too late to preorder it. You gotta you gotTa pre-order it by Friday or else you have to just order it online preorder for you know that it's coming. No you're ahead of the game. Digitally they send it to you. I twitter and Instagram at Mike Kaplan. Moh You Caplin follow. What's going on helps? Keep Me Sane a little bit and I appreciate it. Why did YOU END UP CALLING IT AKA? I'm glad you asked him to and Keith. I'm glad you didn't ask your like your like the Elon. Musk to grind right right. Just a short answer or and he'll be the long explanation sincerely it was going to be called all killing aside Which is the name. I was touring within. I brought it to Edinburgh because the is about love compassionate not murdering mainly and but in this time of pandemic I talked to my producer. And my mom. My mom was like Yet maybe not have killing. She would've said that any time the word killing at all she's like there's this This law firm called has the word kill in it or like the town of fishkill New York visit there so she was like my mom suggested all kidding aside and I'm like that does make some of the kidding aside so we'll consider that So THAT'S WHY WE CALL THE AKA which stands for the original all killing aside for my mom. All kidding aside it also of course stands for also known as which is what the name is for the original my name. Mike Kaplan is an Aka of my given name. Michael Adam Kaplan given by my mom and dad this is almost we're almost to the end of my Asked me anything here? The album has been called hilarious and layered which I call hilarious. Lowering layer into hilarious like the K. In the AKA making a pal Andrew representing the conceptual Pailin Room at the whole album is so this is basically end of my Aka. Ama the album comes out on the eighth of May ask what be right. This is you know what you were right again. I Apologize. I'll I'll tell you what's great is i. I got an early copy of the album. Absolutely no word play inside strange movie. I mean there is a track. That's most that your did you find your track that it was inspired by you. It's around it's close to the end. It's in the Iowa Scott Chunk based on a conversation that we had on this very show here where you start with that and he'll pay attention. Mike you know I understand Keith. Thank you and that's why I'm here and thank you for not being on the album. Oh that's so nice income. You didn't say anything that I could take out of context and misconstrue and make fun of in all in all fairness sometimes I you know. Lay it up and he dunks it right. I mean I gotta believe that absolutely right can the do you. WanNa talk to people like a human or inspire them to make art. Do you want to inspire them to me guard? Neither well have strong opinions on the movies right. Everybody thinks a lot. We'll talk to you dot com.

Mike Kaplan Keith Malley twitter New York Y. Q. Kaplan Donald Trump President Conan O'Brien AKA Netflix America Canada ASS Westworld Max Nazo Andrea Allen Freud Mestre
#2 Musicmaster Bass Amp

Chris and Rick Talk Guitars

18:40 min | 2 years ago

#2 Musicmaster Bass Amp

"So. Hello. This is Chris and Rick talk tars and today, we're gonna talk about the music master base pool. Yeah. What's that all about it's a sleeper? Amp lever. Say okay. The music minister bass amp came out in nineteen seventy and it was supposed to be a practice amp for bass players, and it's a really lousy base stock, especially, but it turns out it's a pretty good guitar amp and used to be pretty cheap just checking e bay it's still pretty cheap. I mean starts in the neighborhood of three hundred dollars and for vintage Han wired to bam. That's a pretty good deal. Yeah. And even. Yeah. Even at three or four hundred bucks to me to get a one twelve combo like that from the seventies is I think it's totally fair. Great little to put in perspective. I think used blues junior is kind of in that same range starting around three or so and going up even more. I think the blues junior new. Who is like the neighborhood of five. So it'd be it's a no brainer. For me. You get this hand wired Vinnie jam for that price. I have one you have to right. Got to my bass player that I played with her years stumbled upon this video on YouTube, and he sent it to me, and it's this dude his bedroom cranking guitar through. Oh that dude that the bedroom dude cranking this am this little Fender. Amp, it sounded awesome. He had a dime. And when you dime, these things, they they get a really great preemies overdrive that sounds awesome. But if you swap out the speaker with a I use a ceramic Jensen, which I like we can talk about that a little bit. But I use it as a gigging up an it takes pedals. Well, and I just dial in the the headroom I need and then apply pedal students fricken cool. It's great. I love it. I have a sixty four Princeton, which has the same power. Tube sixty six's. And I find myself, especially for live if I'm playing with drummer, I'll use the music master base part of it is I don't care about it so much, but the other part of it hangs really well with drummer for reasonable rock stuff for any kind of routine stuff reasonable rock stuff. It's great. I have the same speaker in it. It's one of those reissue Jensen ceramic allow people don't like, but it sounds. It. Sounds great music master bass amp is super simple. There is a ballroom and a tone control. And that's all I need. I mean, it's yeah. I like the simplicity of that to two knobs. No waiting and again, I like the ceramic speakers to you. And I talked about this before to the L Nico versus Ramic. You know, obviously, there's a whole contingent out there that swear by the only go, and that's fine. For me. The low end is to flabby out the ceramic speaker tightens up that low end for me that I like a lot. And it's just a great speaker. It gets really good mid range e rock sound, especially through this little music masturbate Sam. If you score one of these amps, it needs speaker speaker there is shit. It's really me even for like cheap. Fender stuff of the air. It's it's it's dog shifted just before you swab that speaker out you should plug a base into that though. And put it on about five. So you can see how many kids were probably really bummed out. They got one of those Christmas morning. Oh, great. I gotta base in into me a farts. Swab the speaker out I use it with vendors and Gibson's Jones. Great. I mean, right around four starts to get kind of nasty and from there and up. It doesn't get a whole lot louder. But it just gets raunchier. Then it's a cool Runge if you were just playing straight up rock with gain you could dime that thing. And it sounds awesome. And like you're saying before like the way you play you can either lean into it. And, you know, get the full grind or maybe, you know, maybe not dimed. But if you trained at where you're getting more gain, you could finesse it to, you know, get a little cleaner sound, and then boom lean into it and get it just a really cool amp. I think I dig it. Yeah. I'm trying to think of what I did to mine when I got it it did you do the the Klein mod to decline clown. No, I'll Davis. It doesn't have a fuse in gonna wanna put a fuse in there. So you don't die and the caps by that. If you get an old one the caps are probably on the really cheap filter caps. I'd replace those. I think a couple other electronics, but it's up and run out in that. It's completely stock. What are the specs on this damn thing at twelve watch? They had two different tube configurations. There was a sixty six and there was a six whiz at number Q five six achey five two which is electrically the same as a sixty six, but it's different. I think it's like a seven pan or nine pan. There's a discernible sound difference or toned there is probably some. But I think that that six that tube that I can't say six A Q five it's supposed to be the same kind of electronic as sixty six. So they'll be close. I've heard people say they're difference. I haven't heard that one. I haven't I've only heard. Even sure what line our to be user sixty six as I can't believe you don't know that. Well, you're my tech guy. So he would know your question. Now, I forgot what it was. It was Rambo. I was just asking about the specs on this damn thing. Twelve lots sixes as got like, I think one. I mean, look. Yeah. Might only one I've got one right here. Okay. Leaning it bad. You got just one twenty x seven until you need men. That's all you need one of the cool things about this. This shows you how when Fender went cheap in the seventies. The chassis is a champ chassis. So I could take this chassis out of this and plug it into champ cabinet or vice versa. Sonically? It's really weird. And that's why like about it. It's not scoop sounding like even champ or got more mid bar to it. So it's great, and I'm gonna probably be killed for saying this. But I actually like it better than the silver face deluxe Weaver. I know that's like one. Those that everybody cares. Gonna get a lot of a lot. I know we're the reason being like I mentioned it's not that smiley face curve. It's yeah. Like mid range to me is an again within the spectrum of traveling base. But mid range to me is a quintessential Carson in this. Am gets that for me. Like, I love it. I love the fact that it's mid range, and and and a little barky. But as I said before man, it's one of the most versatile amps, I've replayed it takes pedals early. Well, it's got Chris said, I mean, you couldn't larger venues you probably wanna use the more higher what jam and stuff like that. But for a lot of the gigs that he and I have done in clubs with a full band. It's more than enough to to play in that situation. And every time we played with these amps guitar players in the audience come up to us name. What what is that what do you plan through? Because it sounds so cool, right? We don't tell him because we don't want them to buy one. And I just like the market really lazy and having a volume of you can't get in trouble. Gimme a bunch of knives. And I'm getting fucking. Trouble up there. Instead of gets like having a Mesa boogie Mark for it's got the knobs. It's got the q-. It's got the Rosas to maker of all you minutes of all you and atone. That's all you need, right, man. Because all you need is volume, and you need some, Tom. Hello, right. Yeah. It's all there for you. It's plug and play. And I liked that one thing I do not like about this ham, which is pretty small thing is you gotta be careful when you're hauling it because there's nothing the tubes. Are just kind of hanging out the back. It's a big open back. So, you know, if you're drunk does his snare drum in the back and smashes YouTube that could be a problem as like to have a little case for mind. That would be cool. Yeah. I hear you like hard nuts about the only thing. I can think of that's bad about it. A lot of people might the ace. I was online. Yeah. Looking at Mods. And it's crazy. I mean, you do what you want your amp. But I don't see. There was one person in particular that I found amusing because he's. He's claims that he loves these ants. So what he does is it gets any guts and build something in there. If you love this ampule particle board. I guess he loves the particle board case. And that's another thing. He's talking about. How cheaply are? Yes. They're cheap cheap. Like a champ. A champ is not shit. You know what I mean? And this is basically a champ was some extra pitchers. Yeah. It was them being cheap in a hand wired amplifiers everything in there is hair wired. It's great so. Yeah. And to your point, Jim, my friend, the bass player the term of these things he's done a mod or to his damn you. I know. Curse him. And I'm like why why it's the amp doesn't need any modification. Swap out the speaker. That's the only mod you need to do. And maybe like Chris's putting a fuse. And you've got a great amp that a you can use it in your bedroom at low volumes, you can use it in in most clubs situations with a full band, and you've got plenty of headroom. It's just a coup little amp. And I I am just fascinated by the fact that it started out as this cheap bass amp, and then bass players plugged it in a media through up, and rightfully so. Because the speakers in those that and again, I don't know what they were thinking like, yeah. This is a base in it must again. It's it's when CBS bought the company and who knows who was making decisions, but it's not obey Samp. It's just silly. Now, just look at the transformers, and you're not gonna get a very good. But I will say this with the speaker swap I've used it as a base for small combos to just can't push it with a allow drummer. I mean, I've. I've run into headroom problems with it when I was playing Iraq. It sounds really good. But not having that extra headroom. It's a little too squishy. I mean, and I've heard people say, oh, it sounds great out front, but I was uncomfortable with the amount of headroom had so I stopped using it for the louder rock stuff. But I grabbed that anytime I'm doing like routine rock thin kind of country tinged thing or just digging around that in my mind, Princeton are the apps for that. But as I say, I prefer this over the Princeton for a lot of stuff. It's got a solid state Rectifier. That's another thing about it. That does give it a little bit more clean headroom over a Princeton. So I think that's what helps get that up there to hang with drummer better. That's kinda cool testament though, that you like that more than your Princeton because since a cool end while on my Princeton, but the Cup her reasons the Princeton staying home now, I'm not taking anymore. It's like got collectible label. So I have taken a few times for the Jilin prying trip. Ban that I'm in do, you know any prominent players who play these amps where it's kind of filtered into like stinky Peterson. Stinky Peterson from the stink tones got it. I didn't that black key. Okay. We're and I also I have a friend who is. Owned ghetto records in Detroit who records a bunch of really cool garage bands. And he's a fan of these amps. And he claims he likes the ones with the tube. I can't remember QA whatever it is. Yeah. He likes those betters. Like, he gets great his stuff. His name is Jim diamond. And he does get a record stuff, and he gets really cool guitar tone. So he I mean hem liking that is a testament to. Yup. The coolness factor. And like I said I just looked on EBay yesterday. And there were some going for about three hundred bucks. And that's like that's like a no brainer. Again. Exactly. I mean, you can't touch like a even black or silver face. Fender. That is the models. That are known like you're saying deluxe or. Inching? And so if you want a vintage Fender amp granted, yes, it started out as this weird bass amp. But if you want a Finnish Fender amp so about the speaker, you've got a great guitar that really is vintage and like Chris says, it's a tan wired, and it can just be one of the amps in your arsenal that you use depending on the context, and it's a great amp. And again, I was reading online to some people were like bagging on it for not being reliable, or oh, I wouldn't three hundred bucks way too much for that ambient. I'm like the I just thought that's ridiculous, man. I have two of them. I've used them now for probably I don't know five six years clubbing all kinds of stuff never had one break down. Never had a problem with one ever. I'd gladly pay. I'd pay up to five hundred bucks for one. If it was clean. It was super clean years is really clean then IX. Yeah. How about you? I mean, I think they're worth every penny. I do I do. I got mine. I did some work for somebody. He had three Vinnie small vanita amps, and I did like recaps and put three punk courts did some service restoration to them. And he gave me that in trade faster. Yeah. I know. And it's like to add to what he saying as far as like, it's value. It's great utility. Because like, I say once you replace that speaker, you can use it for base for rehearse base recording base or small little gigs. So it's great exactly I don't think it'll ever be held in in the same esteem this other models, but I have noticed in the last several years that more people become aware of them and more people are appreciating what they are. And I've seen the kind of prices go up accordingly. Maybe they kind of fluctuate. But I do know that what I was. I looking at these. They were really cheap. I mean, really cheap. Oh, yeah. But yeah. Yeah. I mean, any guitar player who who has heard one and check some out really digs of and so. The getting popular and getting becoming desirable. As also caused backlash you'll get that with anything. So now, you're right people. I goes piece of shit. I don't know looking at that. And I'm trying to figure out what reliability issues it's like center. So you know, if you played it hard and he played bass somethings. It's McKay something mechanical fake or something you might blow. Some other thing of it is there's nothing in there that you can't replay. No. And it's not like, you know, a circuit board where it's like well this went out. So we're gonna throw half the amp away or just throw it in the garbage offender apper any amp from that era is a lifetime thing, you hang onto it, and you can take care of it. You can find shit for it such a simple amply. You said there's there's not much to the end go wrong. So I mean like you said if something does go wrong, it's pretty easy to diagnose and fix. Exactly. Most likely, it's probably a speaker. And the stock speaker you want to get rid of anyway, because it's a piece of shit, right? And you want to clean them. No. I don't have to convince me. I okay. It's it's an ample that I like and use often. Yes. All my amps, and I have a few. They get used in this one doesn't get used any less than any of my quote, cooler apps. We're big fans, and we I love there's nothing more fun for me to play gig with this amp and then have some guitar player. Come up and go what are you playing through? Because I remember like that elements mod. Got remember, Tim, Tim Giulio? I think he's an. He played the Daryl's tavern. And he came up to me and asked me what he looked at. He was in all of that amp, and I told him and gave him the whole scoop. And he it was cool because he's a great talk layer. And he very he's he's got his arsenal of music masterpiece. But seriously, I mean, my nephew he was in a band and the Qatar player wanted to know what I plan he bought one he went out and bought one like it so much. And so that's the cool thing. I find about these amps is there so weird and so still really relatively unknown. So if you go play gig somebody's gonna come up to go what the hell are you playing because you get a great guitar sound. And it's fun to tell them this crazy little music master vase, and blah, blah, blah, and whatever, but it's fun. It's fun. And then they steal your ship. These deal. You're gonna they're not gonna get any royalties. No. So that's the music Mestre basecamp. Yeah. Good aunt. We love it. It's great go out and get one for benefits five hundred bucks. Buy one Jesus. You'll thank us. Maybe. Hate mail. All right. Well, that's another great episode of Chris and Rick Todd ours. Yeah. Join us next time. It's early. I think we're coming into it. Yeah. Right.

Chris Princeton YouTube Jim diamond Rick Todd e bay Princeton Han Stinky Peterson Fender Fender Jensen Mestre basecamp Ramic Runge Detroit Sam EBay Tim Giulio