1 Episode results for "Marwan Wazim"
"You Walk You made it weird with me homesick. What's happening? Where does the incredible and wonderful and hilarious Chris Garcia? I really enjoyed our talk. He's I've been trying to get him on for a long time and it finally worked out so as I always say. Let's get to it as quickly as possible. I do. You WanNa plug Some standup dates. I'm going on the road currently with the incredible Lara Bites. It's it's basically a double headliner tour. She's so funny. She's he's incredible The next date is Cleveland. I do want to say sorry to Saint Louis I had to reschedule St Louis Because of a movie thing That that all be updating. I'm shelby talking about that But we are rescheduling so Any Day now. We'll have the new date and I will be Letting everybody know so apologies to the Weirdos where does in Saint Louis but I will be coming your way and just on a different date. So Cleveland San Jose Houston and Phoenix are all the confirmed dates right now. Go to Pete. Holmes Dot Com we will be adding even more dates Which I'm very excited about very shortly very shortly? The next Largo Oh is also this Friday. some wonderful guests are going to be there for. If you're going to be in the Los Angeles Area Largo Dash Away Dot com for tickets. Gets I also want to give shout out to our wonderful sponsors. The Pete's picks as you guys know I only do sponsorships for things that I actually love and actually enjoy joy. The original Pete's pick which We talk about it a little bit in this episode is Charlotte's web hemp loyal it. CBD OIL IT's grown in Denver for for human consumption. It is wonderful And they are doing a new promo forty percent off their bestselling. Seventeen Milligram Oil in any flavor favor mint chocolate lemon orange or olive oil you go to. Cw Ham dot com slash weird and type in keep it crispy seventeen. That's going to be valid valid through Valentine's Day at forty percent off. 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It is I swear by when I'm with the baby and I gotTa make food with one hand orpheum in a rush or if I'm traveling on the road and it's hard for me to get Green Dougie's into my body audie could travel is a wonderful thing to have in your life. Go to Catava K. on C. J. dot com slash. Weird and. You'll get twenty percents off off your order and show your support of this podcast could travel dot com slash weird. Thank you to our friends at could travel currently running on your wonderful miracle powder the right now and Try Some Charlotte's web get forty percent off now and I hope to see on the road. Cleveland San Jose Houston and Phoenix. And will be rescheduling. Saint Louis and adding more dates to Pete Holmes Dot com very very soon in the meantime enjoy the wonderful Chris Garcia. You're so funny thanks be. Let's talk about your stand-up okay. What is going on? I see somebody like you. That's so funny and it was like what is happening. That is my. That's my question. That's what's Happening in general I mean the level of comfort -bility and like. How long have you been doing it? How did you get started i? I'm not just saying that because it's what we ask other. I really want to know because the end result is really special. Thank you Well I started in two thousand and five in San Francisco and I just kind kind of dip my toes. You know I was watching my and then in two thousand went and watched I went and watched the best price right. Just go in six months and I was like oh I can do yeah S.. Six months scared I was very scared. Are My childhood dream so I was like scared to jump all the way in what you you knew even as a kid you wanted to be a stand up. Yeah I recently found my second grade yearbook and sister Perpetuo. This none wrote to Chris. The comedian funny little kid and just a hand off and I think difficuly a little little bit sure like a joke with old old people a comedian. But you were interested in Santa. Do what's your early. So you stand up memory. My early memories are going on car trips or waiting for the ball to drop on years. You've and my family and and I would listen to this. Cuban comedian Alvarez. Give this well I know. But do you really a bit of edit those those I keep going and he has like over forty albums and you should know your. He's very prolific. He also has a lot of jokes. That you're like okay. That's the street joke and stuff right right. I wonder I wonder what if that's like what was expected and what people really want. You know what I mean like if a comedian doing that yeah. Yeah a lot of guys from Boston that I would watch would do more closely. What I think they're generation thought was jokes? which was the? Make me laugh. You you better just tell me something funny so I wonder if he was just like a product obviously of his environment. Yeah totally liners every once in a while. It'd be this kind of subversive live like anti communist humor which was really interesting which he really talked about like immigration the United States in that whole process and he'd have like you know kind of simple jokes we'd be like talking about taking his like immigration exam or whatever that you have to take and he's like he's he's like I don't know how to answer these things and he switches to English and he's like who is the president of the United States and you go Rockefeller Center. It's it is really kind of silly set up but it cracked my parents up and just as a kid on a car ride. I'd be like this is awesome. And we're they leading question. Were they getting along before the record went on this like helping because in my my life laughing men like everyone was happier. I'm I'm not saying they were always unhappy but like anything that got us all laughing together. It was like such a gift because my parents didn't really get along. Oh that for me. Well my parents got along on but just life was hard or like you know from their experiences living in Cuba incumbent united safes it. It definitely wasn't easy right so to make fun of it so you're white male just making their own just like let's see we have this nice house find a private school. You're Kinda like they just have to make conflict elect. Yeah we don't have therapy. We Have Rockefeller. It's affordable a million times. Yeah Rockefeller Center is a great choice. Yes really big president because the rockefellers like nobody really knows you know what I mean. It's like the coke brothers. What I I don't know but there are so many monuments and buildings? I love it so they would listen to it together. Happy Family Yeah Road Trips. We have any brothers sisters. I have an older sister. She's twelve twelve years older. Oh well yeah. And she's not super funny. She Way. Parents are hilarious. And she's you know she's a little more subdued she's like I think since we're such different generations and she was born in Cuba and had to come here. She grew up a lot faster so she was the one that was married at twenty owned a house at twenty two had a kid at twenty four like she was. She's very conservative. She's religious he does everything by the book Catholic Christian Christians protested yes. You went to Catholic schools. I went to Catholic so did she. Yeah there's twelve years difference. Maybe she didn't. She went to a Lutheran school. We I went to Catholic. School would not cause we were Catholic like we went because the schools were bad. And so yeah the lie about where we live to go. It's like when you're not kosher but the meal on the plane better education equivalent. I I love that okay. So you unfunny SISTER WHO's getting living way really fast. Yeah she's doing she's like I'm I'm need to assimilate get get things done and out of the life that my parents never had and she just everything you were born here. I was born here and I had it easier so it was like. I'm going to be a comedian. Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah. Did your parents really want you to be an Astra. They really they did my dad. I grew up here in. La My dad would take me to the La County Science Museum the California Science Center all the time and so the California raisins. The lower expectations could sing in a line of sunglasses and play the saxophone. uh-huh everything else will be very proud of you but yeah he would take you to like hope it rubs off on you hoping it would rub off and just I mean it just wouldn't. He's like a machinist and he actually worked for Rockwell like the company that worked on the space shuttle and stuff and he wanted me to be part of that and I just wasn't just out of the blue. It sounds when you do it in your stand-up but so adorable and out of the blue on the sending Lee adorable but just like what's the biggest thing you could do. Well leave the earth when he was working on rockets. Yeah I want my kid to do this you know. He never doubted added degree or anything so he thought right. I can go to get degrees and I can. Yeah go to space yeah. My my mother is an immigrant. She's I was born in Lithuania but my father is not and he really really wanted. I'm just trying to relate obvious. They wanted me to go to Harvard and that was if you were from that area where my dad was from. That wasn't astronaut. They just wanted the degrees. And so I said this a million. I think he's still disappointed. Still after all this like you wanted something to frame like a degree or something. I think he's over it if I'm if I'm being honest but like it took a long time for him to be like it always to things that say Peter was a hell of a header. He wanted me to be a baseball. And then you really realize they put you in in Little League and all that well League and my dad was very ambitious. Like astronaut Hewitt pushing the eighty mile an hour cage fat six year old. Just be like all right and just be sitting swinging or meet the voice. I'm going to sit it out. That's good I played the game. And there was a little Latino in there and then I went there meet fall. You confused us with Talion. It's not the accent again. We gotTA spicy fastball. With huge rig at Tony which is the most baseball bat pastas really okay. So he was just a high Falutin. Yeah and you were. The only son only signed kind of Spanish is not necessarily only everything. You're you're nuns were they. They were nine. They thought you were a real handful. They thought I was just mean your loving be my love and now they were there. I looked like Rudy's friend from the huxtables from the cosby. Show wait I looked like oh no white kid. I looked like the white kid. That kid was gold. Yeah I was just like Chubby. His name was banned right. Think was it Pitas. I would watch and I was also. I'm the reason I didn't backed away from the accent. Did Not away from love handles because I was like kids like I knew what love handles were way before anyone else did because we had them. I like learning and then I'd watch the cosby show and there was fat. Peter and I'd go like does his name Peter Because I felt like that's it's what I looked like. Peter too big bodied people out there. I mean that but at the time in the eighties nineties I feel like it was way more. Like like fatty fatty fat. And that's how I felt. My sister called me Pudge Fisk baseball player Oh I remember. I went to a slumber party and we watched What's the movie Stand by me. Yes yeah and all the boys we were picking which guy and I was like River Phoenix. His name is Chris Chris. And they're like sorry. You're burn the fat kid that BARF that was my. I did the same thing really movie. Of course when you're watching those movies if you're the fact that and there's a fat kid you I'm I'm the fact that's me and any TV. Show that a fat kid. which every once in a while? I've said this on the pod before accident. Everything in the book. There was an episode of Punky Brewster where there was a fatter. Better kid yeah. And that was the Ark of the episode. Like what are we going to do with this. Get and and she was funny and she developed a sense of humor to shield the old other people from teasing her she call herself pudge and I remember watching it at home not really but you know like teasers up I'd be sitting at home crying consultant vinegar sauce. Those are my ears but yes okay. You were saying you were picking a we. Were take the people who are in the movies and they wouldn't let you be back on the fact that even in college we played they'd metal gear which was already brought up with harmonies and the room a couple episodes ago. But we play metal gear. And then we'll go play laser tag and would be like your snake cure solid snake and there was one kid who was gay and he He probably knowing where things are going. I'm Meryl I just did it. He knew what was just like there was a fat guy in metal gear. I'd be like I'm took the only female character I don't accept. It was just like kids. Are Shed including college. Kids verschoor your Meryl Fucking Dum dums all right. So you're a doughy astronaut to be your spouse. I'm a spat me how you're as bad as well. The pressure was high on the expectations. Very high and so I went to a public school in kindergarten but it was not up to my father's standards L. A.. USD school so he lied about where we lived and we paid someone that lived in Westchester by LAX. Sillier mail. Yeah to get our mail and so we had to lie to do back and but I couldn't get it. They wouldn't let me into the school because you have to do a test to enter the school because I couldn't draw the number two correctly and and I couldn't skip so and you couldn't draw the number two. That was number two. I mean you had to do your numbers and your letters and yeah a physical exam and so my mom. My sister and my dad spent an entire summer trying to get me to skip and draw the number two and it took the entire summer and my dad would like my sister. I got the number two how to do it. I remember I just wouldn't she was like you just have to close the loop and it'd be like to circle a circle upside down. It's like no close the loop and I'd usually like Oh and I just I got I love it and I just couldn't do it and then my dad would take me outside. It'd be like okay one foot another foot. It's like jumping and running at the same time and I was like do it with. He wanted you to be athletic. He wanted me to skip to get into the school and like. Why did you have to skip to get? It was hard of the like athletic exam to get into this Catholic school. Like you had to like know your numbers basic spelling. I N somehow missed skipping skipping. Everything you're saying belongs in the upcoming Golden Globe nominated. I'm sorry didn't win. We've Golden Globe winning you cleaned up at the globe but The credit cards the vehicle. These are scenes. I have to see your your dad with a lot of pressure. That's what makes it fun. It is he needs you to skip or like life is over. Basically like it's not gonNA work. This man. Man is working forty fifty sixty hours a week overtime driving Canoga Park from Inglewood back and forth spending his weekends just to try to get me to skip to get into the school and then I get into the school and I'm like terrible like I pee my pants. I'm a nervous wreck you did skip. I did skip. I finally at the like the last week before I get skipping and doing the number two so you skipping and hopefully not doing a number two enough you get in. This is actually if we can. It's fun but there had to be like real pressure. I mean this had to be kind of frightening for you. Yeah a little bit or were you above it now. I felt the anxiety like I knew the pressure was I and I was incapable. Live doing these things and I think I just kind of free I would get anxious and maybe that would keep me from being able to do these tasks like overwhelmed. I had a girlfriend that scared me so bad that when I got in the car I couldn't tell you which way was I remember. It was Who Cares I'm GONNA stop saying we were on our street and she was like go to Franklin but you scary in her defense? I'm always shitting. In her defence I would probably like became like a bumbling useless person but she was like go to Franklin and Franklin intersected our street and I couldn't remember which way it was because you made me so anxious. Yeah so what I'm saying is like I know people to this day. Hey that if you're driving with them they get nervous and they make mistakes that they wouldn't have made if they were alone and this is you. Yeah it's like when you try to parallel park with a friend in the car. That's right you just freeze is up. And then there's people I stand ups. Have this where you do better. Because people are watching which is a real phenomenon. There's a psychological term for that like a certain mm type of person that does better because there's an audience and then there's most people I think the two worst because I enjoy it too. It's funny as a a kid. I was looking at looking to Katie. I said when Aunt Anton is that his name the other Tech No. It wasn't Nolan. Okay was the Nolan. Wasn't Tony Nolan. Good thing I didn't intake swing with Anton like if you shuffle Anton enough on a broken computer. You've got the word Nolan. I we were talking about how we like having Katie Haiti specifically for some reason. I can't explain it but women make me perform better. I think just something in my brain makes me go like got a tap dance for the ladies and that's why we all can't people looking to see if Katie's laughing and feel comfortable around ladies be like right okay. I actually foldable feelings. This do you understand. Yeah that's right that's right. Yeah no it's not as horrible as it sounded. Sounds like aggressive but it's actually now invulnerable. Yeah Ah all right so you were Baz. You're saying spasm grades skipping and like yeah it was really challenging on my parents and then 'cause because I also knew that we were lying about where we live to go to the school and I didn't necessarily feel like I belong there. What a terrible thing? What a heavy thing to carry around? Yeah like you're a spy basically. Yeah you have to feel any secret for a kid. Do you remember that like the first time he had allied grownups. And you were being told. Sounds like you do. Yeah very heavy burden harder for kids. Obviously yeah totally. One day you know. In second grade sister perpetuate. My parents worked very hard and they were the you know Dad Dad worked in Canoga Park. My mom you know. She had a job at a factory and they were always late to pick me up and so sometimes it'd be like four or five. PM and sister perpetual just wasn't having any more and she was like in the eighties right so the rules are different. She's like she's like where your parents I'm like. Oh I think they're home. They're not picking up the phone and I'm like their home. She's like I'm gonNA drive you home. Oh Mike this fake address and she goes to the office and gets like this the information card and she's like okay and so we start driving around Westchester and we will rock you live at thirty rock. I clicked with that does. He's a huge Are you John. I stay up every week. Sleeping journey crazy. Yeah and so. She's dry. We pull up to this house astute. I hate she pulls up this house and I'm like we moved. We moved uh-huh we no longer live here and they must've forgot the didn't change the address with the settle thinking on the spot. I knew I was like yes. And what are you del. GALLOWS COMEDY AD the founding mother. Wow what did she say. Did she smell a rat. No she was like well. Where do you live and I was like? Oh I'll tell tell you and then I'll make a left on Manchester and right here like take it back. This is the PAT. I'm just spinning and just saying and then I stoop little kid logic. I was like I usually lay in the back of the car when my parents drive and just look out the window but I don't really look at the houses or the sidewalk so I don't really know how to get to my house. And she was like Whoa and then she just drove me back to the school and my parents were waiting for me. She and a a habit this whole time. She's wearing a habit like hush puppies those shoes. There's a crucifix hanging from like it was like the worst there as the like Chevy Chase station wagon if you think I'm directing this that we don't have your Pov on Jesus tackling from the rear view as as you feel exposed and caught. Yeah as if I needed more guilt. JC looking right at you. Wow I just run up to my parents and very quickly in Spanish I'm like the Mohammed Qazi Baba Awas in in my parents earns like remember my dad just like put his arm around me and I was like thank you very much to the lady news like good job buddy like. You're not as dumb as I thought. Yeah Okay could be funny in the store shut up comedian But Yeah I think that was the backdrop and I had anxiety as a kid and my parents were trying to the best show up. You know just that type the nerves and not feeling like I necessarily belong. Yeah but then being the funny kid because of because of hiding anxiety. It'd be weird that I'm delighted bad enough that you became talented. Yeah me too. Yeah I yeah I totally was so so freaked out especially in high school. I was a bit much. I was a bit much and constantly as he said spasm. Yeah were you a big Ham in high school you like back. I mean that guy so Hammy the teachers thought I was funny. Yeah that's not good because the the classmates Wearing a Hawaiian shirt like impression of like a wild and crazy that my dad would identify as has a wild and crazy guy. Well well look who were powder. Blue Tuxedo to the PROM. I remember my friend Chas Jazz. This he was he said he was going to go to the dance and he was going to wear a bow tie that spins yeah and I was so jealous I was like I'm the AH I have style. I wanted to gag anything when when I figured out that those hand buzzers that you wear just spin. That don't actually shock you. I like so let down because that was going to be my thing. Yeah you're going to be that guy. The joker in the Batman animated series. Basically I just wanted to be an murder people. Did you do magic and stuff of course go to that level dare you into. There's an insult but you look at least one slight of I'm delighted by magic and I'll pretend for fun but I. I think I lacked the concentration to actually do it. Dude I the sets. I'm my friends. The gunners have a nine year old who I'm very close with and it's I'm because with the whole family and I'm always trying to teach her magic and it's it's teaching someone had put together a grill. Yeah totally you're like okay. And then make sure you keep this wingnut in hidden in your shoe and like I was like how fucking lonely and I don't even mean like a abused or neglected. No I mean like I was a little kid that that was shuffling around the House with my mom gossiping then occasionally take out like a magic book intended for fifty year old men in the forties forties. Keep it in the in the brim of your hat fedora. Like I have to wear a fedora letter under spats looking some term. Snap your suspended mom. I need to spend a uh-huh oh my God. What else did you so you did comedy? You didn't have other weird weird Al we into weird. I loved Weird Al Not as I can't claim like on the Super Weird. Al Had like today. I Love Weird Al.. Yeah no I had my time with weird al.. I've seen him live. But I wouldn't say that I'm a hardcore more modern weird AL person I sort of dropped off after Amish Paradise yes same. Yeah I didn't graduate from that. I don't even know what the newer ones are. But you win friends. Did you make friends. Yeah I did. I actually eventually became kind of a popular kid. I love the engine. Enjoy either upon their necks people. Hey go learn it from your Stan. I learned to. I never even thought Latino because in Spanish the male assumes everybody Eh. Yeah which I guess isn't great. Yeah but I just thought it was like yeah that is the point avenue like okay well. LET'S NOT GENDER The we've explored just caught me being one thousand nine hundred. Five white man is just normal. You have a man means normal man like man. I'm a man. You're you're a man if I tell you you're man shut up man or woman and then there's one man but that's man with an attitude. So Latinos were there other Latina people in and it was mostly like Irish Catholic white school. But then it was like you feel special or you start going Then there is like handful of like immigrant. Kids kids like there was like Marwan Wazim and Glenn the Filipino. Kid I know Glenn the P. P. I. G. Youtube and we all had mustaches and third grade Our parents cognitive is like you know like like someone would have pizza. And I would have like my dad vow. Which is like Cuban soda at the teachers? I got sent to the principal's office because they thought I was like a a second grader drinking beer at school. But we'd be like these fucking astles thinking. This was a beer. I God elated about out stuff more scenes because they think it's a beer have been very beer like it's like a copper can and it. It kind of looks like I guess. Yeah I guess I hope would be more sensitive now. Yeah and read the word. I believe the Spanish word for soda is so oh kissed a gland surveys. But I wonder you tell me would. White people know the word survey so back then probably not the eighties. That came later. Yeah sort of like I feel like I feel like my dad's still wouldn't know survey. Yeah I'm going to bet a million you're from Illinois Chicago area. I started there but thank you for knowing that. I don't know why I thought that was so sweet but I'm from Boston. Oh Wow my dad says Expresso so oh I don't think service then you ever correct someone. By saying back to them Espresso I love Expresso Russia Espresso. And you won't hear it happened with me and my mom and Mari Condo a Netflix. She's like all the Chinese lady throw stuff away away like she's Japanese Chinese old. She's very old. Say the name wrong. She got long so what I was asking and this might be a stupid question but I ask them all the time. Who Cares? was there a feeling of spectrum as you said the mustache throws I and even interesting food. You're looking for identity. Yeah was it identity or was it man. I wish I could fit in. It was a little of both. I mean if I go to my friend. Leo's House and and his family were immigrants from Italy or any one of their it would make me feel like okay. Cool other kids parents from other places and these kids are smart and good at school and so we have to. Our parents speak a little funding and we speak to them in our home. You know their mother language and that's normal like if I if that we didn't have that I didn't have that it would have been very isolated. There were no examples of that in the media. Like you didn't feel like now it's pretty ready not normal but not unexpected if you might see something like that on. TV A kid that goes home and speak a different language to their parents. You're not like who what is yeah. Yeah Yeah so you're not even seeing yourself reflected in the media as my point so you only found that in your friends. Yeah which was cool and then you know it was a very small school and because sports I was able I became friends with like the The what the white kids are like. Even the white eight Bros.. Where like I think because of my dad and still? I tried very hard at sports and I'd be like I wasn't physically talented but I was like the Rally Monkey Gi and I would die for a ball and all that stuff eight baller we. What were you playing baseball? I played well. I played all bliss sports because I was kind of laughing baseball. Yeah but because my parents worked all the time would be an after school programs. or It'd be at the park occur. Something that's hilarious. So I've played every single leg. This is in our pilot to there has to be something where it's like it has to be all girls or something it's like fight club. MARLA is in the testicular cancer support. Group there has to be something where it's clearly you just can't go home yet. Yeah so you're like your or in crocheting or crochet. To saying the I was it would have been weird and since my parents relate to pick me up. Sometimes I'd be like hanging out with the counselors at the park and I got really good at chess. I'm like really great at Ping Pong really play adults or teenagers as gay. That's just magic on a table Eh. Table that stable magic. That's funny I have a ping pong table now. Almost unbeatable really and I keep it low and fast low and fast spin and almost lose. Sometimes and then I'll just like I'll like change almost into a different person. Just be like so focused and determined war and then I thought about it recently. I think this is going back to when I was a kid. And I'm like trying to show myself worth to an adult You know because I was like I need to beat the counter. Show that like my parents aren't here but it's not because I'm a piece of Shit I'm like a good. I'm talented lease and you're putting on a show putting on a show your dancing for your Jenner. Yeah and which is like as a latchkey kid of the eighties growing up watching cosby and punky brewster and all these shows I think that all became part of you you know jumped into my psyche and this is how you and watching. I'd watch cosby. I'd watch like Eddie Murphy. Raw on tape different. Feel Steve Martin Wild and crazy guy like I had things on. VHS Is that well in crazy. I believe yeah And let's get small. I don't know I think it might be. Let's go and I would just watch stuff all the time on a little. VHS Tape and like I was like that's it just made me feel so good and then I enjoyed it so much that I think I was like. This is what I'm GONNA do. I relate relate to that man it was obviously a different set of circumstances but like I felt Looking back I can understand why but I didn't know at the time but I felt got something in my stomach that I was somehow like different and weird. Yeah like I think my family and I I love my family. They're fucking so weird. Yeah so weird and I think I went into school and I just saw people. They just didn't look as weird as me. And that's when you're like strikes on the Avenue Maple just tap dancing and you want the bow tie that spans and you learn the magic trick because you're kind of battling like a weird inner nerve feeling. You're trying to turn the feeling that you have. Yeah I have to imagine you got good at talking to grownups too. I mean that's a skill. If you're hanging out with all these counselor or use of teachers. Yeah your child you know you think you're giving the show to them but you're also learning how to relate to adults similar to comedy comedy. Yeah and they would be kind of off the clock so it'd be like so what's going on over here guys. What do you do after school? Yeah you file papers. Or what's going John in particular like take you under their wing. Did you have a friend that was like that saw what was going on and Nice for the pilot we do ha. I guess he plays them. It's a cameo utters cameo. How is it you at this age today? Yes I'm smoking merit. Okay so you like me but also smoking around in the car. Yeah I yeah. I don't know why it's happening. I didn't really have that as I mean my sister always reading for me but in elementary school not that much because I think it was a pro kind of approach to loud and class into all over the place but in high school. I had teachers that were really like I did. Model you wine and we do you then. Yeah Yeah I can't remember my country. Did you go to New York. We went to DC and I actually route uh-huh we went to Georgetown and I was in the same debate is Chelsea Clinton. I like Security Council like I and I started like at school. I still wasn't a great student but it was a smart kid and stuff is so when it came. Yeah socially intelligent when it came to model you and I was like Oh shit okay model you. It is what I thought debate was. Do you remember I in my school. I heard about debate was like I love debate. Yeah me I love talking and figuring things out out but we're talking at the same time. That's what I thought. Debate was and then it turns out that you go up and you're just like The water is fast. You can't and they're all these patients and I'm like that's not what I WANNA do. Marley the US is what I wanted to do. You got a couple of minutes to talk and do a little show and explain why Venice needed water was and you present it out. kind of it was is Kinda my first taste at standup. It'd be like I was real goofy about it like I'd I'd wear like a suit and then I'd gone and bring a briefcase and it opened the briefcase of case. Take my sport Kodak and put on the Cardigan like and change my shoes like Mister Rogers and then I would have a speech. That was kind of like my jaw is wide open for those listening. I A gaffe that you know the teachers new like he's doing like a Mr Rogers thing as a kid. You're Kinda like now. This is just cool. ooh Yeah grownups. Two and then I was like and then at the end it'd be like won't you be neighbor tight around you were doing. I was I to her. This is funny. Yeah and so I was like to get laughs. It got laughs and I did well in model. UN which normally in school. I hadn't done that well. Aw and because of mile. UN going to Georgetown. We'd go to Berkeley and stuff I was like I'm GonNa go to call. I'm GonNa go to good college. Yeah and it kind of changed everything for me or I'm like stupid school stuff. I can just be like smart and talk about the world like it just like opened up from time to time. So I'm I'm into place I will write my old Malaya and teacher on facebook and Public Mr Timberlake. I just want to tell you that I was just GONNA say I. Yeah I was. I was saying someone somewhere. I meant some teacher who was like. I think this matters volunteering their time their extra time. Hi I'm assuming they get paid extra to do it. I don't know knowing how things work. Maybe not. But they're like I think it helps and you right him and say that's what I do with Mr Brown. Mr Brown was the English teacher in high school. That just made me feel smart. Because he taught me how to write an essay and he made writing and communicating accessible like I am a communicator but academic academia communicator Akkad. So few people speak with you learn. Yeah that's helpful. Ah But I'm so glad that you write him and he writes you back and yeah me back. And he's like oh it's so great he's very supportive and he'll he'll see something that I'll do and be like I always like you'll say nice things early. Sweet that's great. I don't get that from Mr Brown. Always coming from me Mr Brown. I'm open remember Musarrat. Hey remember big big thing. I know you see me and your feet. Ah this whole this whole in our souls that we never feel around. Maybe Mr Brown nose okay. Like he's like he's he posts some pretty Ed van staff like mindfulness stuff. Cool so maybe piece probably learn how to love himself. That's awesome it. Let's not be too sure can't believe we both fucking loved Model UN. I was so into it. I thought I was going to do in college and in college it was hard and I was like this is dumb. The suit is it's not just the hanging DC dude. I went mostly because they were like. It's a field trip to New York. You do it you get to go to New York and every time we're in New York New York about which is pretty frequently will be near thirty rock and I'll point out where our hotel was. I'll go this. Is The Hilton. We stayed at in model. UN which which was such a big deal for me. Just walking around New York like Kevin mcallister and the sequel and just being like this is okay. I'm I'm allowed to just be a loose boy I I'd never really traveled either so I remember like in. DC was the to Circle Hotel like you remember the hotels because it's so oh significance right and they helped me build a wonderment for the world. That's right I had never traveled and I was like you can go to Berkeley San Francisco and when Rita leave as Jake. Yeah that place exists and you can go there. Yeah play Taylor Swift. Welcome to New York. We expect bags. They are going to debate at Berkeley. I remember you did go to a good school. Yeah I did but no but read in high school when I in Model UN. I was like I resolved to go to that school. I was like I am going to go to Berkeley and I went to community college. I I couldn't go straight to Berkeley and so I went to community college and got really good grades to show we're ready. Yeah and then I just transferred to Berkeley and it took me seven years to finish this last last two. Yeah Well I. I didn't go for seven years straight but I did drop out for a little while. What did you do you get? Get there and it's really fucking hard. It's really still scared. Like the fact that nineteen year old people are going to Harvard. I can't leave it. Excuse me like that scares. Here's me to this day. I feel like maybe I can now like enough of an adult and a professional to do this today. I feel like you need incredible time. Hi Management Skills and also prior to prioritization skills. Yeah meaning. They said. We had to do that. But I'm socially intelligent to know that it's probably more important to focus on this and this glass. Then that's stupid thing. That guy seems like a hard ass or whatever it is. I'm going to prioritize and focus on this and I'll shine and at the end of the year. I'll be the the Valedictorian that is way more than just book Smart School. I know it's weird to say schools smart but it's like job smart. Yeah we organized. He's been diligent and professional do that. Some kids thousands of pay not me but it was really hard because I I had really small classes houses and Community College. I was in an honors program with just a couple of kids and it was like you know I. I learned to some of my favorite books and I really liked him and philosophy classes and then I went to Berkeley and it was like two hundred kids Shakespeare class and we're going to read the first twenty seven plays one play every time we meet for class and I was like what the the hell and I was like well a week play no class so like every like a Tuesday. It'll be Romeo and Juliet Thursday this car Katie. Open the door. I that's going to give me. I had a school dream last night. Yeah last night. I had a school dream that I was like I have to learn all these flash flash cards I still get them. Yeah last even dream. I said I'm a comedian. I don't need this. And then I kept studying those flash flash cards and they were weird. They weren't real words. There like monitor duration Jalani donation. It's a now sounds sounds like a verb. I am still freaking out. So what. When did you decide to take time out? Well I and who are you. Hugh magical man that you were like. I'm going to go to Berkeley and then you did. And then you're like I need some time off and then you did. This is like really powerful agency and like weird man. I don't mean supernatural manifesto. But you're like I'm I'm steering this ship. It's fucking great thank you. I've actually never thought about it in that way or I'm like Oh wow oh I did make some decisions. Yeah I went for it and I did the things. It's fucking incredible. Your parents must have thought you were the coolest I hope they told you and tell you. It's it's incredible. I mean I feel like if my I'm saying this is a parody of my daughter and I just realized I I need some time off. I'm going to do it and I'm like excuse me. Hillary Hillary Clinton I meant Chelsea Clinton but I said Hillary well thank. You didn't feel like that at the time I you know I break up first. heartbreak happen and so and I had like a high school sweetheart and she was away at college and we're doing long distance and cheated on me and for my little sensitive sensitive heart. It was too much to bear and I was like it was the late nineties. Like Elliott Smith was there for me and it was real real sad boy time no name number three throw Alexa play grabbing brigand. Excuse me grab for it. Clinton Lord Slam poet winning. My wife left me. I wrote a song called waiting for you to come in because I was living in an apartment. This is so embarrassing. It's an Alien Smith. It was just basic like is not a good Elliott Smith on but waiting for you to come in is such an Elliott really like. That was the refrain sing about my sad little life. But I'd be like but I'm still waiting for you to come in. Is this the good will hunting sound drug killing. I did the same thing where I was like poetry and music and so I was in bands that were all so much. I might've it. It was like I WANNA ban. It's embarrassing love minus zero love minus zero. I didn't name it but man member did. But it was like it's after a dylan song but we're like so ema we're like yeah love minus zero. Oh my God what what did you mean. When he said I don't really even know love zero love with hero? Get Out of my. Ah Everything I say. He's brilliant any moon walks. What's he doing In those shoes cowboy moonwalking cab. They do more relatable moonwalk and cowboy boots men in love minus zero love. My playing. I always was playing bass and singing my heart out I played bass and sang really. I why did you pick base. Because I picked it because I was like not quite in my fullness meaning. I couldn't yet be like I'll play guitar so there was kind of like a shyness. I was like I'll be the bass player that things things like sting. That's exactly what I did. I'm like I'm not going to really be the guitar guy. I'll just boom boom fun but I will IMO while I do you it. That's it and that's weird people that sing and play the bass. Somebody needs to sit them down and just be like you play a power chord with the same root. Note your the guitar really. We use therapist designed this and play the Bass but how away play alone. We just pretend your fingers over the I remember when I figured that out when I figured out I could play every song on the guitar if I just played a power cord over the same note I was like I could have been the front. I was the front man but as a frontman bass playing. Yeah zero but it was tough and so I was like I need to do something to cheer myself up and I was like fine. I'll take a zero deal. It wasn't putting a skip in your stepped into your dad. The voice appreciate. That's her dad. Does I take an Improv class. And and I really love it like I'm like this is great and at the end of older we know right here in twenty. Maybe we're fucking brother uh-huh right around the time I mean. I did freeze stuff in highschool like low in the lower levels of Improv. Yeah but then in college around twenty is when I started doing actual improv like scenes and stuff. Yeah and so. That's what you were doing so in college. I mean college taking this class. It's it's at the Albany Community Center. It's a community center like off campus. That I had to take Bart to. It was mostly adults colts. I was just going to this show sell. We're in season two. And you're taking an Improv class with grown community centre people pull. Yeah like I was twenty. Half of these people were bald lived discrepancy in age. I'm like wow. This guy is bald a a- and I took the class and I loved it and at the end there's like the performance that they do at the end of excited l. me went well and so went really. Well my face and the director of at Berkeley. There's a public science center a museum. Mm for kids called the Lawrence Hall of Science and she was the director of the Science Discovery Theater. which was the outreach program? I am theater program that would go to schools and teach kids science through like theater and Improv. This is what I did but I did. It was called reach. I stood for re-examining change so is doing basically like Christian. It's so nauseating Christian lessons I wrote about in my book. That one of the sketches the year before was a woman holding a fetus in a jar. And she's singing a Lullaby and then slowly reveals that it's a fetus. This catch back to write it. No that was the year before I got there and then I always wanted you funny ones. I'm assuming in your science ones. You were steering it towards funny and then and people were like and then this one's about an abusive alcoholic father. Oh no thirteen or fourteen. Yeah but you know turning water into four Loko silly stuff guys Any turns wait. He never turned. He does communion but it's with laser with Fritos and four logo so fun you got it so you you were funny and science. You got recruited by the science outreach. She was like someone just quit. Would you like job get the discovery theater and I was like after your first show and she was like. Have you finished college and I said yes even though I had and then you gave her your address I I live in west Oliver Mia ride a but you learn the good social life. Yeah Yeah I did I. It's something in the fabric of immigrants or something or my parents where you just have to maneuver the system. People that are realizing that it's like a the fucking stacked deck once in a while you have to be like because again. I feel like my dad had that too in weird subtle ways would teach me like every once in a while. It's okay to be like yeah. I can't think of one but like yeah that's right and then you get what you need. It sounds so shady but I promise it was always harmless. Also my parents. My Dad was out of work and stuff and I was like I can make twenty eight thousand dollars a year to be. I'M GONNA by helicopter and be a millionaire. I thought it was going to be like a life changing amount of money. Ever do that. Where you're like if it's twenty hit a year that means I'll have a billion? Yeah you don't know anything about taxes or life expenses you basically need the cosby show scene with the Oh and the monopoly totally so I did it because I like a necessity that was sad and so I took this job and then watch little America. No so good. Is it green. I heard it's great. You'RE GONNA love it and there's the scene where a a an immigrant and trying to get a job and other people are trying to get and he's like I need this to like literally. Keep my family alive. I think it I forget. WHAT COUNTRY IS I? Don't want to get it wrong but like okay so keep going so then. I'm sending money home to my parents. I'm part of this. We did Improv about at the brain in this troupe called the brainiacs and it was mean to adults like I was twenty but they're like fi actors were so oh good because they were they were professional actors and audition to get you know a job with the UC you get benefits and so they recruited really great talent. And I just happened to be in the right place in the right time and be a silly kid that this this lady thought it would be really good in front of kids and I got to work with like straight up professional Shakespearean. Are you an actor goodness. You didn't get a suggestion that made you be like I'm a here right. You did enough off the Jewish kids all right. Let's get them in front of the children. Yeah and so we wrote plays like ocean powers Marine Man of mystery like Austin powers was was big at the time really what about ocean powers and Dr Eal and this is the place about plankton and and my eight two okay. Mon- case of the missing frogs. There's like a lot of who guided the magic of electricity where I dress up like merge midge like a magician a wizard and I take like a van De graff generator and like a Tesla Coil and do presentations for kids. I put in onion in liquid nitrogen and like throw at the wall and it would shatter fun. Yeah so it's like fun in a crescent moon and star half wizard. Yeah yeah she's a sand. It was really great and it was a good job but then I was like I can't do this the rest of my life and your question I I can still going strong today. It's mad. TV TV took the mad science. And now we've Amen to be So you made the right choice. Then I went back to school and I finished and then Yeah Whoa but then I knew I wanted to do. Stand end up specific you were doing Improv. The and I was like this. Isn't it tell me why I don't want to tell you why I went from impromptu and annoying gonNa tell your story because I know I had the same thing where it was. I've said it a million whereas it's like a drug and I loved being in the scene but unfortunately I had to lean into my self centeredness. I was just like I wanted to be the only one out there. I want all the risk and all the reward. That's what it felt like doing standup as opposed to being like while we were off tonight I just want to be like. I'm depressed eyesight when it was great I was like I'm the king exam the best. I'm I'm giving myself a ride. Just which is weird to think about. This may put the brainiacs. Sometimes it's frustrating. When I was doing magic we'll actress city? Yes I loved. Yeah that's right it was just myself. That's what you improve can be good at uncovering a stand up to. It's also obviously awesome in. Its own right but you can always tell the person that's like you might be happier. Someone just hands you a stool. We've been talking. Here's a mole skin pretending to be at a target. Ah Jerry Jerry. So then what so you get into the revelation. You're back in school and you're like I want to do stand ended up. I WANNA do standup I but I was like I WANNA go. I went to Europe for six months. I took out the 401K. I had from working at the university and I was like I'm GonNa go to Europe even imagine do that. Yeah just like took it out with penalty and it was like six thousand bucks and I'm like I'm going to go to Europe with my girlfriend at the time and had a really nice time and then moved back to La. We where did you go. I went everywhere. I went like see when all over Spain Spain and France and Germany and so you stand up but it wasn't like Disabling your ability to do other things like you weren't like so this sounds like you're not a standup. I mean. Thank God you knew what you wanted to do what you weren't like. The only place for me is Queens. Live my life. Yeah and and and I think I needed I think at the time also I think Bush was president and things were real heavy and I was like I need to get out of the United States. Yeah and see the world a little bit and nice time when things were Bush Bush. Heavy remember those sweet days. Oh he pulled pulled the wrong handle on a door boy And so I did that trip and I moved home with my parents and I got a job parents thinking of all those. They have a comedy Falutin. That's not NASA well. I didn't really tell them. Damn they thought I was like. I'm going to become a teacher. That's what I thought and I was like maybe I could teach and do stand up and like you just don't know when before you star right. Sounds like maybe we're towards being a teacher a move back home. I know I can't start comedy in Los Angeles. I had that thought I was like. I can't do comedy here and compete with the Schiphol's Dane. Cook's of and I was like I'm not going to do it here. You're so smart. I mean when you're so young to be smart enough to be like later. Yeah I knew this was not the place for me and it wasn't and so I just got a job. I taught at a school for kids with autism during the day and then I taught Salvadorian Immigrants English at night and I was working like sixty hours because I was like. I'm just going to bust. It's my ass. I'm going to pick a bunch of money. I'm back up to San Francisco. where I had seen Brent Wine Bach Moshe and Louis cats seen these? He's great. COMEDIANS that were incubated. Yeah and I was like that Guy Branam and like this is the scene like I need to go up there where it's exciting like not see like I saw Dave Cooley at the comedy and magic store. You know. That's not right where I'm at. I'm a young kid trying to you know and so I work and I'm working at the school for kids with autism. I thought I could be a special needs teacher and my sister's a teacher her husband's a teacher unpaved. I've worked with kids a lot. There's a need for it. I'm going to do this and so they put me in this class. That was like the the most severe class that kids are the most difficulties and I was like do the toughest kid I would just like work with a really tough kids. Yeah I don't know why but I was like bringing on. I'm going to be a teacher. I'M GONNA fuck in jump in and out whether that's what it is and you were like I know what to do. You wear a light colored sport coat and you find the most challenging kid and James's life. Yeah that's incredible the yeah I guess and thank you and I saw it was really hard. It was very challenging and the season three or visit three coolest and it's going to be in the eighties and nineties. I love of it. Yeah it's got back feel to it we're selling the UCLA there's no ownership you're writing producer every once in a while you check INS hilarious you beat me to non no. There's nothing happening here except him just like this. This is such a great story. What an interesting life? Keep going thank you so I'm teaching and you know there's kids and it's you know there's a bunch of the kids there and it gets more challenging. There's some kids that just could just boogered on me all the time just like and there's a kid that would like put fingers but just put try to put it right in my mouth and there is really sweet kids. There's this kid column Bob. But the only things he could write. Were the word bobby with leaving. He chose to write the words Bobby Kris and then Ripley's believe it or not museum any withdrawal robots and it was really sweet. And we'd just just like draw for hours Chris. Bobby Ripley's believe it or not museum and he been and yeah he was obsessed with it and he really liked it and it was really sweet and we went there once Anthony. We like his mind was blown by Jesus. But that's episode three three kids only ever writing it and you're like have you ever been and then you you have a hard day and we forget about bobby you have a hard day and then it ends like you have a date and it goes poorly and it's a sad episode and we think we feel really bad for Chris and then it ends with this beautiful montage of you and Bobby. At the Ripley's he's going to be okay. This is why deserve these non writing your writing producer. Now you're in writing your show running now God but the you know the kids were also going through uber dirty and and some of them had oppositional defiant disorder which means you know they were just tough and Abrasive may just do the opposite of whatever you want it always and this boy was always really violent. Alan you bite me and stuff and one day. We had to take him into a padded room where I was just as one on one aid and we'd play chested deescalate them. They really liked it and he just like eleven. Now's like twenty four or something and he would just like capture. My and I'm good at chess and I been playing just as long long as this kid. He would capture my piece like bitch and store in a padded room in a padded room chess. Eleven year old and that boy was Bobby V. Our new incredible and I was like I get very upset and then I'd go in European punk. I try to be him and he would say worse. Words I would say the F. Word N Word Bobby get you pick another word eventually. beat me and then like I remember like kicking the table because I was so I was like I gone a good sign. I the seams are loosening. I am starting to crack. WHOA so on my birthday I was like? I'm GonNa Play Guitar for the kids. It'll be really nice yes I. It'll be a nice gesture. They do. Play like an unplugged base to class eleven acoustic. There's ways at a party. I'll pick it up. It's electric electric. It's just whatever you can hear. I play you've got a friend to the kids. Sweet song the play. Call him bobby new. Oh Bob Bobby do is. He's watching me play guitar. And he's cleaning after you know. The kids would have chores and stuff and he was cleaning. Meaning the cupcakes that were having off people's tables and he had simple green The cleaning spray and he runs up to me. While I'm play playing sprays me in the eyes was simple. Green takes the guitar and just and it was like one of those half size guitars takes interest. Like what like smashes mashes. Ross my own head and so I a mccague's excuse me and I just like go to my car and cry and then hey something needs. That's not quite relevant. Goes Mexico And so then I just like I I broke. You broke as it should. I mean understandable. I mean yeah. It's totally broke me. I Apologize I didn't finish the semester. I was like hey. I sincerely did this because I thought I wanted to do this. And I've learned that it's not for me and then I just I moved up to San Francisco to start stand up and then what does a fucking late Friday show have on you. When you've taken what is it green simple simple green to the face? I think I feel that in your when I watched your Coordin- set. There's that great moment where they laugh really hard and you had one more tag and then you do right and you're like you guys laugh too hard at the one before that those are the moments where I'm like Like that's a natural but of course these these skills clubs you rewarding them in life like in big ways pretending to live somewhere you didn't. He's acting yeah playing the worst Gig so you can play ten times worse than any rowdy crowd. Yeah in a padded room or wherever the I pictured it in the bedroom and then you get into stand up. I'm not even worried about you in the story Eh but somehow stand up is still harder. It seems like it seems worse and harder ever uh-huh so you started doing stand up in San Francisco. Yeah and then I just I started in two thousand and five open. MICS open mics. I remember I went to WE'RE GONNA go. I went to the Motte cafe what everyone starts at the mock or the brainwash our these different cafes and I remember just like I did okay like I remember I saw a reese waters still does comedy I think he was on the east coast or something and he this kind of smell it on the first time and I was like yeah and he's like let's go get a beer and I was like. Oh wait after before before and but I think I drank too fast and too much and because I was so nervous yeah and the host made a big stink about being half Mexican and half Jewish it was like his whole wolfing. It wasn't real sticky. You know yeah and I just take the Mike and I'm like So and so says he's half Mexican half Jewish a shot to hate him or hate him and that was obviously joking but it did real a like the rest the settlement find. Because I can't believe this story I'm also trying to think of the hack jokes that he may have made like does your taxes. But he takes us. Yeah Yeah I like that. And then you go up and destroy with that and then afterwards pulled me aside and he was like if you're GonNa be you're gonNA hackel another commune be funny and he went on me and I was so devastated that I when you come up and been like that was good man. Yeah it was good but he was her off. Jewish affects again fully impressed. Wow how he was totally devastate. He was mad he was mad. I can't believe it. Some people would quit if somebody if somebody yelled at me. I'm so adverse to conflict. Inflict like that. I went away for months. You did. Yeah it totally totally scared me. Because I think anyone hosting open mic is a professional comedian. Yeah you like this guy does for a living and I just showed a house and took a dump on the dinner. I thought it was like I really blew it. I'm probably GONNA. I'm probably not even allowed to be part of like making like it's not even about him. It's a joke about like racism. Yeah and he took it personally. He took it personally. We we don't know who the host was. I just wonder if they're still doing. I don't know if they're still feel like that's not gonNa work. I know if it was is that long ago I don't know I hope he's all right me too. Not Not even just saying that. It's over that so you crashed and then you took months off understandably to recoup. Yeah Chris with the cheating in high school real bad. Are you being yelled at by half Jewish half Mexican. Yeah and then just started it all over again. I think I'm like the summer or something same club I went to the brainwash and then then I started going all around and learn that I I was like Oh you have to do this every night all the time. Yeah and I was. I'd gotten back together with my high school girlfriend who had broken up with me or who broke up because we uh-huh cheated on me or whatever we got back together. We went to Europe together. We moved to San Francisco together and then I started stand up and then like eight months into it like like we should each try to go lavar own dreams like you should go be a pastry chef like you want to. I'm going to do stand up because we're not seeing each other enough and I think this is the time where we we have to go do our stuff and she's great. We never got back together. She owns her own cafe working standup I credible. So that was kind of cool thing opens in the in the in the cafe like it's like a really boring opening. Why is Christmas eating a scone? Yeah and then she comes over so this is a really great scone. Yeah when you kiss her lovingly on the cheek but in a friend way and then her wife go totally treat it right. You don't leave you. You go in the corner where there's an open Garcia coach Paul Garcia. It's gotta be gotta be now or whatever you say uh-huh Oh my God but then I said seeing up in SF for you know years. And at first I talked about my family a a lot and then I didn't you know it's tacky or something. It's really hard. It's like Chelsea praise joke where men got their period. That's all the talk about but it women women do it so like similarly I feel like non white comedians get accused Margaret showing it. It's like you're GonNa do your dad's boys you can do my oh go. We got when it's like. Yeah if you grew up in if that's what made you unique if that was your identity. Yeah that's what would all be circumstances. Take my life and the people that make them up but I didn't. I wasn't confident enough to accept that it's like a Raunchy comedian for a while. Ah Yes weird. I'm GonNa Jackie totally the science homeowners. They're here to renew your contract. Nine more what do you mean like you went real alert. Yeah like sex jokes like crass jokes by design. You're like that'll be my move. Well I kinda was doing it anyway and then I was like I gotta had a ditch this mom and pop stuff and they need to go hard and then did that. I even played guitar for Awhile on stage because I was like I could play guitar. I didn't realize I didn't have you singing songs or were you doing it more like Nick Suny Albany songs like I was just really dirty songs. No no not dirty one with Jack evacuating Venus like an astronaut. Dad evacuating Venus. Uh we cut to the crowd dead sign. And you're like I think maybe I should talk about my family again. Basically but then I like my started talking about my family more and just more of a natural way and then my dad got he actually got sixty sixty had Alzheimer's Disease Katie told me that's why I'm nodding. Yeah I remember you have a podcast. Now which is called scattered headed that out. Edit me repeating it out about your dad getting Alzheimer's yeah which is a very very. I don't have to tell you this but I understand. It's a very very heavy thing. It's a slow motion lotion. Sort of disease. You told me Yeah. It's very slow and it never gets any better and it's like watching someone disappear right before your eyes but it was and I was living in San Francisco. My parents were here in Los Angeles and my dad just disappeared one day and he will. My mom called me to let me know that she came home and my dad was gone and she couldn't get a hold of him though boy so she like he had he'd wandered off like a few state which we all learned from breaking bed. Yeah like you just forgot where it was going. Yeah maybe forgot who he was totally and and just went he just went nightmare and it was like six. PM like how long has he been gone mom and she was like since eight in the morning. What interests like call? call the cops juice like a little Latino Lady. She's not she doesn't like I'm not gonNA call the cops. Are they GONNA do. And so I call mom. Yeah she's like I feel like I call nine one one. I call the police and I call my friends back home and they're like wandering around. I have a friend walking around the South Bay Galleria with a picture of my dad and people knocking in door to door. Wow and the cops called me like two hours later in my debt and made it all the way to south central La from Redondo Slash Torrance Lawrence. How far that? That's like an hour drive or like and it turns out. He took the bus. He just started. He got on the bus and just started taking different bus lines and the ended up by the Coliseum. Wow from Lino south twenty minutes south of the airport you know and so I I had. I had a weekly show in San Francisco at that time called the business and it was every Wednesday you have done the business. Yeah and and I was like I think I need to go do a set right now like I was like. I can't cancel this and then I was like I just retold the story on stage flow and for the first time felt like a comedian. It's like that moment really like okay. That was really I was myself season one. Yeah I'm sorry we're going to have to skip. We'll get a lot of that other stuff in flashback but that has to be in a AH yeah. We're operating on different time. Yeah graduates. Garcia is a time jumping comedy-drama Chris Harris. Chris is us we Chris. This is US I. I was like no talk. Nobody loves everybody asks. Everybody hates curious. Anyway I it when it was such such and there was only like seven people in the crowd. That night did it but I did it and it felt I was like we know when you think of the people that you look to your doubts. Pry Your Anne Bruce. It's not on that level or anything but personally I was like I was myself and I was vulnerable and right I was just in the moment. y'All acting the jokes were are there. It's like you took this unformed ball of dough but you pushed it through your talent and it came out as like sliced bread. That's where my phone number rings. Everything's fine okay. I think he just called to say hi. That's awesome But yeah million pardons you felt like prior where you were better than better than prior fascinating priors and garlic garland's God Jeff Garland talking to you. Don't get the plane you look. Oh my God. Jeff Garland George Carlin I look George Urge Carlin Paxton stuff. Then you get a bigger should use airplanes seven words you should say. Ah Yes Larry. That's crazy. Oh my God shout out So what you found your true voice and a real hard moment. Yeah and it was funny. I know that's a weird. He didn't have to defend. You could've just told the story but he found Alex found the tape the other day I was like. Oh this is it's Ni- I mean there's some soft moments like it was like you. Listen you're like Oh that's that's good like in the moment. Yeah world. Do you have this tiny chance and my friend recorded offsets lower a half credits. Chris I think we just sold and so it was funny. It was funny and then obviously a very serious matter but like I didn't want to. I Spit I started talking about my life more whether it was my dad or not and just the real emotions that were happening here and I feel like after the first six years I like swimming or five years. I wasn't one of those guys. It's just picked it up right away and was just came out of the also is all the way in San Francisco or whatever but like I at that time I was like okay now. I'm finally being more of myself than ever before. I didn't feel as riderless is like being like thirty stuff music. Oh I have a life. And there's things happening just to relate. That was a turning point in my life when I started to recognize. My my family wasn't as normal that that's not code. Everybody needs to realize that their family is unique. No matter how normal it might have seemed just because there's four of us us and pretty standard but then you're like wait it was kind of nuts and you realize that you are like even something as simple when I realized like way. Not Everybody went to Christian College Collagen. Not Everybody thought they were going to be a youth pastor and then you just go. Oh that's my story and other people helped nudge me into that. It's like I see it with Kumail to you for the first ten years of stand up together. He never talked about being from Pakistan. Yeah and then later you do the movie you know you figure out the fullness of your perspective when your skill L. level is ready to tackle something that you could tackle very poorly if you did it right away totally. Yeah and it was just that time. Yeah wow it feel like it. I mean it saved me a lot of ways but it really was. I mean it just helped me get through the difficult part of my mom and my mom's very funny and stuff like that. Can't we joke about it but like fine. Like humor came full circle not English. Yeah yeah so that was really cool. What what were you doing? Your Dad went so far an hour drive from his house. Now you're doing the set that night. I feel like the rubber is meeting the red. You'RE GONNA figure out how you're going to be involved in your Dad's illness. Yeah so I start coming home more I I come home and visit and we do birthday and we did. This is right around your birth. Yeah we do Drive we've done a million times go to Manhattan Peer like Manhattan Beach Pier which That's where I went to high school and when we always went to the peer into the beach and stuff and on the drive back you just totally forgot who I was. And so and sewer driving thinking in aggressive way or a passive way. There's a who the hell are you and then there's a kind of putting it together that he's not sure who you are passive. Yeah completely passive offense overdriving. Pass my old high school which he went to because he took English classes at this high school and he's like in Spanish. It's sad what's that place. What's the place the place with the rich kids and I'm wake Mira Costa like my high school? He's like. Oh Yeah baseball field. Did you play baseball. And I'm like And I was like yeah and start playing along. Yeah I played baseball. Like righty or lefty. The left-handed near left handed baseball hitter. Yeah Chris can I blow your mind right now. What I'm left? I'm a left handed hitter and I told you my dad was like such a great hitter. He thought it was so cool. That was the first feeling I ever got that. Might not the first but one of the biggest ones that I experienced was my father thinking it was cool. That was lefty. I believe Babe Ruth could do. Both it was switch hitter lefty or maybe he was somebody really. Famous famous was a lefty and I was like. I'm a lefty here. Lefty and your dad was a length. So you have the lefty bond you know because you know they got that rightfielder and they think put the less good guy in right field now here. You may the only I'm using. It really stuck Pete Wile now that you've been going. Oh I'm so sorry no I don't get it. And that was heartbreaking and he was like left left he's like Oh shit man i. I wish I would've known I would've taught you how to throw a curveball. And like all this stuff now and then you throw up to their left and home anytime you had a pitch. I can do all this stuff and he did. And he's telling you I should have done this and he did so your heart just iheart is just below the ground it is so dead and I'm like And then he's like so He thinks I'm like he's like where are you taking me young man. I'm like home. I don't know if I have enough for that fair Mike my dad thinks I'm a cab driver and And they get home and it's just like I can't believe this and you know bring up stairs and remembers me suddenly but context. It's probably wants here at the house. I think it might be easier made that works. I don't know I took off my sunglass. My sunglasses were Confu. We're wearing a disguise. Squaring is just as George towards doing my routine. I'm wondering if there are other emotions at play. Obviously obviously a Schmo like me can be like that sad now was it. Frustrating was scary. Just walk me through. It was terrifying. Because when Alzheimer's all I really knew is like Ronald Reagan. Had It makes old people loopy. Whatever hacky stand up jokes we've ever seen right and I was like when dad early onset onset Alzheimer's? You're kind of like. Oh Oh yeah. He's just going to be loopy for the rest of his life right. You don't know that you completely deteriorate right and so seeing that for the first time just confirmed I mean. It was all the fears that we were all in denial about because my mom was tonight too. She's like. Oh Yeah it's all when I was fine. We don't need to tell people at Church about it or in the community. You don't want them to think it's geared or anything else okay and so it was terrifying and I was angry because my mom had told me but I felt like she'd probably say Chris. You didn't know the diagnosis early onset. Alzheimer's but there was actually no clue other than he would call me repeat a story every once in a while or call me Laura. My sister's name but it was like light. You know it was just Kinda goofy. You could have been prepped. I could have been practiced. And that's what made you angry. Yeah and sounds house. Like what the hell. But then the crazy part is when we get to the house. My Dad goes. You're a good decent man. I appreciate the the rest of my life. The right yes or the right. That's what he said to me and so even though he didn't know who I was he was still so kind. Wow that's such a confusing. It's so sad but the new like he's still a good. He's the kindest person jail. Yeah and it it was just and then after that I was like I need to move home. Well so then I'm you know a couple months later. I moved here to Los Angeles. Slow with my girlfriend. WHO's now my wife and just started helping my dad and living at the house will just for a little while and then we? We moved out but like As soon as we move back it was like he can't be in the house anymore because he had you know he's too far along and it becomes dangerous like they get scared. You know we had to hide all the silverware silverware because he would get scared and try to protect himself and it was like a knife. I think the level of confusion. If you don't know who people are you're not always going to be like an easy. Well there's probably a cabdriver. You're like I'm in my house and there's someone I don't i. I can't fully relate. Obviously if I didn't know who somebody in my house was that's literally the stuff of American horror story there's just stranger newly terrifying. Yeah and so he would just lash out and it just became came too dangerous and then he he slipped any felony hurt himself and had to go to the ER and then we're like. I was like mom. He has to go going home. which was so tough? Because there's so much shame in that for my mom can in our commute in the Latino community is like what are people gonNA think. Think just gave up on your father that I don't care about them like all this shame I was like mom. Fuck that like dad is not sleeping. He's crawling rolling around on the ground like he's smcgaels or whatever you know and it was. He's yeah he was crawling and it was he had he gotten sundowners. is which is when you can't You don't know what time it is anymore. You don't sleep at night you just up and all hours and so we had to like trade shifts being awake twenty four hours a day to like watch him. This is not sustainable and so we had to find a place for him and luckily we learned a lot of money so a lot of the places this is just like so bad like there. We went to this nursing facility and I just remember this guy was like a young guy and he just had the whatever the not the owner but the guy who ran the place and the edit. His desk was just covered in half drank gatorade bottles bottles and the place looks like the walking dead and he looked me in my mom in the eye and was like it's five thousand dollars a month to like have your dad hear like five thousand dollars for this like shitty miserable you give us and then luckily found this place in Long Beach. That was like doc incredible and they had like a low income bed and they had promised not to my dad. Actually when another home for a second Eh freaked out and you're like punched nurse and they're like he can't be here. He's too violent but this other house was like. It's a violent disease. I can't believe any place ever kicked you out of. We promise you he could be here for the rest of his life and And it was so quick and val my wife and I. We're like driving around trying to find this place going to different places we get to this place and I don't have any paper like paperwork. Ready and Valhalla. aww Checkbook because we're also looking for an apartment and she paid the deposit and then we needed my dad's signature on this one thing and that was like. Oh Yeah Yeah we'll be back in. We'll go home. We'll be back in twenty minutes but my dad was in the hospital like we couldn't. We had to do this before that. The place closed beds going quick. If you can do this right right now the places yours we have a wait list or whatever and then vowel just like forges. My Dad's signature completely perfectly and I showed until my mom and mom's sounds like my mom sees it. She was like Valerie. That actually is good. But you can't trust lady I. I almost cried because this looks so good that you can trust dated lesson. She's like the watch your money give this woman. Power of attorney actually doesn't seem like he can do anything she wants but then he was there and he was there for like a couple years and there is something real. You must have appreciated these caregivers because of your experience in the caregiving community. You know what I'm saying like you knew here. He is punching nurse. And you're somebody who had been hit. Yeah by not a patient but somebody you were working with that was like this is fucking thematically. I'm not even trying to pitch the show. Isn't it wild that you're seeing this kind of come back hadn't even thought about that. That's what a non writing producer. These poor kids will glitch in their and my dad. got a glitch to write and Israel became very violent right but he didn't mean it even though obviously you rightfully where like this is too much for me. Yeah but but it gave you that understanding and compassion. I think the caregivers were so great. And they were just so special people because they also don't make a ton of money but some of them are like my. My mom had Alzheimer's and so now this is. This is how I deal with a everyone had some sort of back story Vow is so beautiful and they were just so tender hinder and these people knew my dad and our family. They became our family for like the last five years of his life and it was so. Wow very grateful not not to fish for something sweet. But we're there good moments with your dad even in the disease where they're peaceful times. I mean it sounds like there was a lot of erratic doc times. Did he ever settle into this. I don't know what I'm asking. No no I and what was it like the beautiful for like I went to visit him on on the morning of my wedding day because I want I was like my dad can't be he couldn't leave the home. You know us too far along and I visit my dad and I'm just like talking to him. He he's non vocal at this point and I'm just like bobby you would love her. I mean you've met her. I wish you could be here and all this stuff and I just like I am by the end. I'm just weeping and I just starts rubbing my back in like dancing back and forth and like he's like smiling and he couldn't really smile that much but he was like taking his mouth like opening his mouth and then trying to do it to me like we re if a baby gorilla and his dad at this moment where he's just like trying to dance and smile and I was like. Oh my God. He's like still in there even. I don't know if he knows who I am. I don't know what this is but this moment happens you're a decent man thing and it was the what you're saying. Oh and and it was it was I did it. And he gave it on your wedding on my wedding day and then you went and got married and I went and how the woman even not to be trusted him and not to be trusted but the other is always little moments like that. Where like my dad? Masculine old school guy. I would always carry my mom's purse like before he got Alzheimer's and from time to time you would pick it up and just start walking around with it and it was just like like how you can kinda tell how people were when they're young before they got the disease like it'll it'll bubble to the surface somehow with my dad was like what a guy whow beautiful. When did he pass? He passed in two thousand seventeen on super bowl Sunday. So it's like. Who is the half time they wanna know who got ruined for you on Brady? I can't look at his fucking stupid phase it was. It was the greatest comeback in Super Bowl. History is when they beat the Falcons leeward. Down by like twenty seven. I'm like Tom Brady and this year. I'm watching doing it for the first time and I decided Josh Condom in this. Does this really sweet thing where he donates money on the Super Bowl like he'll like donate like I don't I know how much per touchdown but I was like this and Ed donate one hundred dollars for every touchdown scored to the Alzheimer's Association. Just try to cheer myself. Let's hope it's not the Patriots. Okay true I know it's not the Patriots who is a forty niners. Which is my dad's team and I was like okay? Maybe it's time maybe it's time to like I. I said to Katie. It's not a TV. Show Kate Katie. Isn't that your team. I know you are they gonNA win. You've just tough. It's kind of a tough one. We'll see it's a good matchup right. WHO's the other team the Kansas City chiefs fifty thousand like? I know nothing about sports. But based on your guys I'm like cheap to win the coin. Flip chief to win the chiefs to win the onside kick I only stuff from baton. It keeps to win the reset genesis. Okay beautiful thank you you for opening up about that and not to be stupid but this is what the podcast is about. I mean you're GONNA go into this isn't it. Oh yeah that's what I was like. This is they say I want to get the word out about your one. Oh cast point here you say the name again because I already forgot Godard scattered scattered. My Dad's dying. Wish was to be scattered along the coast of Cuba and my mom just and then slowly make its way. Okay so we yeah. We put a mic right outside of Vera darrow beaching in Cuba and we put the zoom there and we just were put in a bottle waiting it with a couple of my dad's incinerated remains waiting for it to come back to US anyone that'd be scattered in in Cuba hours dying wish Shuba and so the podcast is we know we started recording it very naturally so you actually were there the night we recorded to queens and that just happened to do the set and You were very nice about it. It was Gorgeous Regis and my dad died that week Holy Shit and I knew house dying and it was just one of those sets really this is it. You know when you're like you you have it in your heart to comedy happy moments and then they just were like. Do you want to do a podcast. Like sorry my dad just died but maybe we can talk some other time and then six months later we screens asked you. WNYC the producers of where and then it just happened really naturally were. We didn't know we're recording and then suddenly it was it's like oh no this is about my dad and my family's life and Because I talked about him so much onstage and stuff but it turns out that I didn't know you know all that much about his life before he came to the United States and I didn't have because of Alzheimer's the last ten years I didn't have the opportunity to have the conversations sation that adults children have with their parents right. Like what was it like all that never got to do that right right right so I go on this journey where I talked to like family family members. I'd never met before and his old friends. And and yeah and then we try to fulfill his wish to scatter his ashes. Family and and I'm really proud of it. Is it a mini theory. Yeah it's just six episodes bonus episode where we talked to Karen Calgor- Ariff who Her mom died of Alzheimers. And we have like a talk about it. That's like brutal and funny the same time because he's so funny but but then yeah there's six episodes and it's You know it's sad and it's funny and it goes back and forth. Yeah good for you man thank thank you thank you so much. So we talk about religion or faith or whatever you wanna say or just lack of aether. The what's is going on here at the end of the podcast. Yeah so we and It sounds you raised Catholic school because the school was athlete school. But my parents are kind of like my sis says born again and my parents went to like little like Latino Assembly of God Boogie Down Tambourine Church. Kosti Austin Yeah. It's like pentecostal church and there. My mom is still very religious and my sister is and I have. I'm not super religious. Yeah Yeah but I'm not But I believe in God I think like militantly agnostic. Like maybe I'm like no I don't know probably I think that's so interesting. I was just listening to my homeboy. Richard Rory and he was talking about the original meaning of faith meant to be comfortable in not knowing completely reverse that into like concrete certitude of knowing. Yeah there is a guy there is this this is how it works is like the whole. The original intent of faith was to be comfortable in. Not Knowing so like militantly Agnostic Austin to me sounds not that. I'm here to judge people's answers but that sounds very lovely. You're just like that. Seems like a participation in unknowing and trying to find comfort in not knowing in uncertainty. Would you say that's right for you and you send it better than I could have said it and I have a slight advantage. Not sure but I know and also people that really kind of like hate on religion stuff but I think it's done nothing but great things for my family and I cannot deny that that like sense community and kindness and compassion that my family has received and given from it. I do believe in. Yeah well I mean when you mentioned having a friend that walked around with a photo voto not to assume that was a church friend. I'm just saying human kindness is a wonderful religion. That's what the Dalai Lama said his religion kind of but that sort of stuff anything obviously religion. It has been used and misused and ruined some a lot of people might rightfully say but there is that communal aspect that identity building aspect aspect. And just you know when you're dealing with something as complicated as like what the fuck is this. Yeah like right now. We're floating in space. Yeah and we all forget because we're just in this little garage garage zoom out. It's so fucking nuts so like it's almost like having compassion for whatever gets you through the night eight meaning if the stories help if the songs help if the moral lessons help the structure helps like who are we to judge. all-star judging as soon as you start it's fucking bullshit totally. I'll be the first to judge you and I won't apologize for it but like if you're trying to be a good person if you're trying to find some connection demeaning doing and your place in this very very confusing conundrum. Yeah then then that can be quite lovely. I agree. Yeah and but what do you think what about whenever people have people close to them that past you feel your dad. This isn't just a question. This is what I ask anybody is. There's still an ongoing relationship. Should be even though he left his body. Do you feel him. You can't even. Kobe died this week. Then growing up here in Los Angeles. It's a big deal. Yeah and even though I didn't agree with my my dad all the time especially with like politics or mostly policies mcgreal holiday. That's a lot a lot. So we're that means a Lotta stuff. Yeah and then groping growing up in Inglewood. which wasn't the best neighborhood? Has A kid. The Lakers played in Inglewood in the Lakers. Were such a big part of my childhood and and we didn't have to talk even growing up we didn't have to talk about politics or anything and the nineties in La. Were kind of tough. There was the riots. All this stuff going on and ninety six. Kobe came to the Lakers right. When I was like college age just like the Communist stupid like like all that stuff? It would give us this this thing that we could enjoy a communist. Yeah I'm ten. I'm not a congress I used to. Everyone is excited about Fidel. I but Things changed we could just watch the Lakers together and like I would just think of all these great memories. My Dad yelling failing at Kobe or raising Kobe and all this stuff and so become symbols they become similar way bigger than a human being. This it sounds like I don't want to sound like minimizing. I'm actually trying to relate. It's like Batman died as a non sports fan of Mike a symbol that means and something to not just people's lives but their psyche and their past and their relationships with their families and their communities and the way that they understand the world died died. Toy I even though I wasn't I'm not a sports fan. Yeah I understand that so that would keep going just like a symbol of these beautiful times. These beautiful memories and justly earned and my dad came to Berkeley to watch a blazers game. We're in the playoffs. And my dad with my friends just watching together and getting a kick at my kick like my dad. Just like. Take the Lakers. Lakers fan is a masochist. Among friends. Still remember that. Because it's so true you nailed it but like it was as a symbol of always win at the buzzer and stuff and just thinking Kobe. And I I just I just I also have just been thinking of my dad all weekend I mean of course. It's so sad for Kobe and his daughters. I can't even imagine what that's like but then I I was even. I even thought it was like Alex. My Dad wasn't around to see this because it would have broken his heart right right. which is a weird feeling? Hate for my dad to see. Kobe loses daughters cars. And all this stuff and you but any usually it's almost like Grief there's there's like six degrees of Kevin Bacon to where he could bring bring anything back to the person you're grieving. I think sports heroes are so linked to our families is like losing it can obviously can be like losing a family family member. Yeah because I wasn't Red Sox Fan but my brother and my father they bonded through the Red Sox. Yeah so I feel that a red sock hero dying eyeing. It'd be really really hard for them. It's also hard for me. I'm not I'm not Just because I didn't watch the game obviously devastating for me as well but any big death turns a spotlight back on us. And we're like all right. We're all vapor vapor. It's really troubling. Yeah really troubling. But I'm I'm wondering what you think might happen after we die. That's a fun way or an interesting thought experiment to be like to get at some secret supernatural belief that he might. I don't know in my father's case what I thought. Once he died because of the way he died psychically in my head. I was relieved because like I. My Dad gets to be himself again. I feel like you get to be yourself again for him. He wasn't hugh he was stripped. Ripped evolve his mental and physical faculties and his dignity for the last ten years of his life right but I feel like in his case he gets to be forty or whatever it is prime and he just gets to be the person could into the infinity even though and I kind of feel you saying this to even if that's not literally true I I think those metaphors of heaven right of being brought back into all the people that have gone and going back to God is like like a very viable and useful way to understand the idea that when we die where like a cup of water new porous in the ocean. And they're not only are you in you're completely completeness. You've merged the completeness of everything. Yeah so of course. Your Dad's faculty is in the everything you know what I'm saying. It's so childish to be like. Oh He's partying. He's having his favorite sandwich. No but like of course everything is in everything. Infinity is infinity the maybe the illusion of us being separate from Mitch other is gone and he's getting forever. That's exactly what I'm saying. You stop being a cup. The Buddhist it's like the air and a Vaas Vaas the survey the breaks in the air returns to the air that was surrounding it but in that is infinite possibilities and that is truly an exciting thing thing to consider I don't just mean for the narcissism of like and I get to go pete gets to go and he's killing onstage. Yeah okay sure that might be an over simplification of saying you go from separateness to infinite interconnectedness which is sort of in my very basic basic understanding of physics. What's happening everything's being recycled and everything's just going around and around and around? There's nowhere to go. There's nowhere to be so when you lose your body you lose your vessel. It makes perfect sense to be like. Here's how I'm going to explain your return to the everything and that's heaven and you can just say to a child or to someone who doesn't hasn't really like getting off talking about the stuff at this depth. He's like he's in heaven. Great that's one of the coolest thing sorry to take over here for something. But I'm I'm leaving. The coolest thing for me is losing my religious beliefs and then circling back to a place. where I'm like? I have them. I understand them differently. And that's been really really satisfying to Pete. It'd be like that Super Fun and then you go back to a place where you can say to Leila you go to heaven. That's that's what's going on. Yeah and later or if you'd like to talk more your dad and you can smoke a joint. I know we'll microdosing getting grandma. I'm not kidding. Kidding just kidding talking always bill Maher's poster because it's everywhere in Thomas's sorry not not sorry. I was like that's like such a that's our culture is like sorry not sorry. I'm not even criticizing and such like deal with deal and so so like whatever I'm in A. I'm on a motorcycle driving. We're not like Ed America. I mean isn't very like group minded so just deal with it and we. I love other people that are like deal with it. Actually think that's the appeal of trump to some people is under sure gang of deal with it really why wouldn't we a elect somebody that is like the manifestation of our cultural identity of what greatness is just like look. I got my pizza. And I don't care about the environment armament and I took this shit and I didn't flush it and moonwalking and Cowboy Boo. That's curiously through that. That's right. Oh what fun all right. We talked heavy. We talked God. We're having fun. We End Light One. It's just one well. I have two two final questions. Has Anything ever happened to you that you can't explain. This is a catch. All question. Ghosts are in here aliens Sir. In here Serendipity are in here and you can also just say I can't think of anything. Please don't feel on the spot but if there's something incredible you saw awesome shit I wanNA know and I'm asking. This is absolutely true. I can't I've thought about this is up high and is is up for an emphasis. I love it one time. I can't. Let's save her but even a moment before because if your hand goes up and you go one one time. I have a sip of that ferry other comedians have no explanation for this is absolutely it drew. I went to the bathroom. Yeah I was sitting trying to go poo right trying to do a number two having trouble with that number the number the number two still can't quite close it off And I looked when I was done I looked in there and there was is a full Dorito. You need the fuck up and I don't know if I was constipated and there was a dorito broken. They always Ryan Goal Triangle. D- orange fading away okay. I'M GONNA write down three things. Yes Chris Yeah Bobby you get you shit a full show me and I'm not sure I felt like I should out. Yeah I know I was trying I feel like you would know why do we all everyone. Everyone I feel like everyone. Listening knows what it would feel like the granular dusted with cheese. Feel of of a dorito probably didn't and I might have been constipated and there happened to be a Dorito who's throwing wondering though isn't a door at my college door. I hate razor in this case. I want to believe it's not. Yeah I think that chat through you didn't notice it when you sat down. I'm going to go with a degree Shannon Jerry. I love that question I'm never not going to ask. And that is the best answer I've ever gotten thank you. Can you think of the time in your life. You laughed the hardest there you you go. People Love Syntax Or a time doesn't have to be the time. Okay so I was back. Bring it back to my dad and we were hugh. He took US bill and he was in this. He's also Alzheimer's and He for a week. He was in this Psycho Geriatric Trek Ward. And he wouldn't remember us he couldn't remember us and visiting hours rover and we go and we take them back to this bed. And he is laying there and he sees my mom's purse and he snaps out. He like crabs the purse. And he's like Monica like he starts talking to my mom. He's like my think honing away. You've been like Blah Blah Blah any alike pulls my mom in kisses my mom you know and then everyone's crying my nurse sis my sister and I'm trying not to cry because I'm like Dad wouldn't want me to cry. These tough guy and be tough for my dad. He doesn't even like it when I skip anymore. He doesn't they care and I wrote my dad on his back and then he looks up at me and he says who's this Mexican faggot. Worst it's a terrible thing makes you saying horrible things that you don't I mean it's not okay but I and everyone just loses it and the nurses losing hanging. Everyone loses it so hard so hard like we are like. This is the funniest because it was the darkest things and then the following by the most beautiful moment. And then my dad just innocently. Yes Mexican Mexican. Oh Oh my God and Has Season Finale season finale series that is the king of the answer. Serve the hardest. I've I real real insane moment. Where you like the darkest? Yeah it was a purse. You even set up the purrs the whole The Space Shuttle Endeavor was landing in Los Angeles and my dad worked in one meeting be an astronaut and it was like circling around Long Beach. Where the the hospital was and doctors were like in nurses? We're going to the window to see the endeavour come home to Los Angeles. My Dad had no recollection of it. Like like what and then all the way to him calling me that like the emotions and I think they've gone to such a dark place. I it is just like plume. Who is this what Yeah Mexico and obviously the third yeah and that is a doozy that is a doozy and that you laughed? We laughed and you know what I mean. It could have been a sad one but it was like this is what's happening coming. And it is absurd. Yeah and it was beautiful. Yeah and then the nurse like how long has your dad had this my five years and she very sweetly was like it gets funnier like it was really It gets funnier and it does it gets added but it gets funny like it was it was is a very beautiful moment. Also ask trying not to cry not too impressive to impress my dad. I'm macho to not how I would not anything. That is too good. Yeah that was good. I feel like that's one of of those restaurants where they serve you like a freeze dried ball and it tastes like Thanksgiving Turkey. The cranberry sauce family to run the ball. That is incredible. Yeah well listen to scattered. Yeah listen to stand up you have two records just one record. Oh I'm sorry to one. It's called laughing and crying at the same time. Forgive me. I thought he had like a short record along any of a lot of youtube staff and also just go see you were. Yeah we can follow you at At twitter underscore Chris Garcia and on instagram at Red Tuna. I love it do you want some. CBD Yeah sure. Do you want some for for your dog or do you want some you can both do. You have a dog No I well. You'RE NOT GONNA get this joke. I haven't Joesbury. That's A. That's a two hour call doc. Here's Charlotte's Web. This is the kind I like mint chocolate. Oh that's awesome woman. Oh great and this is to sleep if you want. Do you want to sleep. Yeah for sure the sleep gummy. Oh my God thank you. CW HEMP DOT com slash weird and the Promo Code. I believe it's keep it crispy seventeen seventeen cool and if if it's before February it's forty percent off and after that it'll be less but still good. Yeah obviously I appreciate it and thank you so much for doing this. Do you think you're incredible. I think that I've made that clear. Sound like you're having a delight to talk to you about funny stuff and I know I feel fed the laugh but I also remembered the the beautiful horror of the world. I mean that in its fullness I. It's both it's both and sometimes it's the same. Yeah what a what a gift you've given us. Thank you Chris. Thank you Jose keep it crispy. If you if you wouldn't mind keep it crispy they keep it crispy. I think I've asked someone that if they could say it in Spanish before. But there's no way hello could be I will mounding alone. crispy maintain that kind of keep it ladder. No I'm just wondering I I wasn't critiquing keeping critique the crisp keeping Christy. Just keep it. Thanks thanks man we got Krispy Kreme has been is.