20 Episode results for "Mark Steel"

Berkshire Murders ft. Josh Hallmark

True Crime Fan Club Podcast

36:06 min | 2 months ago

Berkshire Murders ft. Josh Hallmark

"Hey everyone leaning here. And i hope you miss me as much as i miss you and hosting the show regularly for right now. I'm out on maternity. Leave taking care of my little girl. Tilden and i just really thankful that you guys are giving me that time to spend with her. And that my friend. Josh hallmark from the true crime bullshit. Podcast has agreed to host this episode. For me trust me. It's really incredible content. Josh has an amusing. Because and i'm a huge fan of his show. So please make sure you follow true. Crime bullshit now. A little bit about crumble. Bullshit it's a serialized podcast. That explores one of america's most mysterious meticulous serial killers. The first few seasons are about israel keyes in the latest season is also about israel. Keyes you can find true. Crime bullshit on most social media channels by searching for at true crime b. s. or had to true crime bullshit dot com to learn more okay explicit content found in this episode so listener discretion is advised. Welcome back to the true crime. Fan club. podcast. I'm your guest host josh of true crime bullshit. I'm sitting in for lanee. Who is on maternity leave in two thousand eighteen berkshire county in massachusetts saw an explosion of violent murders in the years between two thousand nine and two thousand nineteen there were approximately twenty five homicides in berkshire county with approximately twenty five percent of these in twenty eighteen. Okay onto the show. The new year began with the murder of krista steel nuts. Lean by her husband. Mark steel nuts. Lean on january fourth. Two thousand eighteen on january fifth. Mark went to the atoms police department and reported that he had done something very bad and that he should be put in handcuffs holding out his hands to be cuffed. He went on to tell the interviewing officer that he had struck krista several times with a hammer and then stabbed her in the back with a stainless steel kitchen. Knife officers found christie's body in the basement of the couple's home wrapped in a tarp. Mark told officers. Krista often belittled him and called him names mark said he snapped at around five pm. On january fourth according to marx attorney he and krista had been arguing although his attorney would not reveal the nature of the argument he simply said that mark krista had been at one another verbally for some lengthy period of time afterwards. According to statements made to the police mark maintained his composure. Cleaning out taking a shower and then going to the liquor store. The autopsy report indicated that krista had suffered blunt force trauma. Some of which was consistent with defensive injuries. According to the medical examiner krista suffered from multiple base alert skull fractures caused by blunt force trauma the stab wound to her back east through the upper lobe of her right lung and punctured her heart which caused her death. By loss of blood krista lease deal nuts. Lean had been born christopher steele in minnesota in nineteen seventy five. Her father willie steele said crista played with barbie dolls and put pajamas on her head as long hair when she was five her parents divorced and krista had to go into foster care when she was in fifth grade she was placed with a police officer and his wife flourishing under their care. She attended sunday. School took piano lessons and went on family vacations. She missed her family and visited her cousins and grandparents on weekends. This created problems with her behavior as after every visit. She was more challenging in eighth grade. She went into a group home where she stayed until she was sixteen. Christie met tina kutuzovsky before being emancipated and the two became a couple. Tina said crista often dressed in women's clothing but thought it was a joke. Tina in krista had a volatile often physical relationship. Starting when chris began a relationship with a male when tina was nineteen she got pregnant and stayed with krista until the baby was three months old. Tina took the baby and left. Krista after this krista transition to living full time as a woman and dating only men krista legally changed her name in two thousand although she continued having struggles. She was homeless at one. Point jobless had no financial support and no family support a tact for being trans suffering a traumatic brain injury which led to memory loss for a decade between nineteen ninety five and two thousand five krista was frequently in trouble with police being arrested for prostitution panhandling and domestic assault. She frequently pan handled outside the mayo clinic along with the man. She her husband and two poodles once she was panhandling outside of a church and came face to face with her former foster parents. Krista fled before talking to them. This was the last time she saw them in the mid to thousands krista rooted and moved to massachusetts where she found her home a place she felt. She fit in in two thousand seven. She married her first husband. A divorced cook also from minnesota. They were married at first churches of northampton. Chris became very active in trans activism and soon realized that the only time the trans community came together was for the annual transgender day of remembrance. Day that honors trans victims of hate motivated violence in two thousand eight she and others in the community created the pride march and rally which was attended by one thousand people krista and her first husband struggled financially in those first years in northampton living in their van for a while until they could afford an apartment then the van finally gave out so krista body used scooter to go to end from activists events even traveling on busy highways after the rally and march were established. Krista turned her attention to pageantry. She created miss trans northampton in two thousand nine pageant for more on. The contestants femininity and beauty. Unlike other trans pageants were more about costumes. This was christie's world. According to her close friends she loved managing the pageants and she created a positive environment for trans women. Although they were and are severely oppressed the pageant in two thousand and ten was expanded to be the miss trans new england and then later miss trans america in two thousand fourteen krista and her first husband were divorced. The grew apart essentially living separate lives. She met a man online and a new relationship started in two thousand fifteen. She married her second husband even though he had been convicted of armed robbery by twenty sixteen the relationship had taken a turn and krista filed an affidavit for restraining order. She said she was scared for her safety and that her husband had stabbed her in the past and tried to stab her friends by the end of two thousand sixteen. She was divorced from her second husband. She had also met the man who would become her third husband. And ultimately her murderer mark man was divorced macho and seemingly adored krista however one of christopher's friends said mark was wicked nice when he was sober but when he got drunk he became violent. Many calls were made to the atoms police department. One time resulting in mark being arrested however krista forgave him and he came back the couple married in april. Twenty seventeen at windsor lake. Krista was wearing a wedding gown. She made herself with beads stitched into the bodice mark. Who had take christie's last name to become mark steel nuts. Lien told her that she was unlike anyone he had ever met. And that's why i fell in love with you. Unfortunately transgender people are more vulnerable to violence than those who identify as the sex they were born with a two thousand fifteen study found that thirty one percent of transgender people have experienced domestic violence compared to twenty percent of non trans people. The reasons are many and complex for one. Many transgender people do not have a support group air estranged from their families and fear going to the police transphobia still a very real issue as many transgendered individuals report being fired because they were trans. They are harassed frequently and almost half have been sexually assaulted in their lives. Additionally straight men dating or married to transgender women have their sexuality questioned which can lead to tension mark steel nuts. Lean finally gave a reason for the murder. The couple had been sleeping on an air mattress on the first floor of their home because it was hot upstairs. Krista yelled at him for moving around too much and mark got up went to the basement and retrieve the hammer. he beat krista wave. he plunged the knife into her back with so much force. It was still stuck during the autopsy mark initially entered a plea of not guilty but change that to guilty and he was sentenced to life in prison. Krista was the first transgender person of two thousand eighteen to be murdered. The next violent homicide occurred on april tenth of two thousand eighteen. That evening hatfield. Police were called to a fire in a field off bridge lane around nine thirty pm. When officers arrived they found body burning. It was later determined to be a man and to be that daniel cruise aged forty four daniel had been shot in his neck and torso as listed on his death certificate. Thermal injuries were listed as factors contributing to his death. But not the actual cause on april. Ninth two thousand eighteen. Daniel went with his cousin to meadow brook apartments where his cousin was attempting to get money. He was owed from nerkin. Omar morales nerkin. Wasn't there but pedro soto rodriguez was. He and daniel got into a shouting match as daniel and his cousin were walking away. Pedro sent a text nerkin describing what happened and said i want to shoot so bad the next day. Nerkin and another person went to pedro's apartment where daniel was allegedly waiting in the hallway. Pedro and daniel got into a fight in the hallway and annual cut pedro pedro yelled for newark in who came out of the apartment with a gun and fired five to six shots. Three of these hit daniel. One bullet hit a spinal cord and lodged in his body another round hit his colon and lodged into his abdomen. Third hit a rib fracturing it and perforating his liver and lung pedro and nerkin put daniels body in pedro's room and left the apartment going to a friend's apartment. There told friends what happened and the group of ten people went back to patriots apartment and wrapped the body in a sleeping bag. The group smoked marijuana. While daniels body lay on the floor often kicking it and sang things. Like you shouldn't have come here later. They put the body and patriots closet and cleaned up the crime scene. Pedro told one individual identified as l. are not to call the police which eventually led to a charge of witness intimidation. Seven people went to pedro's mother's home in connecticut to plan what to do with daniel's body. They decided that purchasing machetes to cut up the body was the best bet but after they returned to pedro's apartment with machetes they gave up on that idea. They wrapped his body in black trash bags and then took to a field in hatfield and lit it on fire afterwards. They rented a room in west springfield to party and stay out of town. Pedro was arrested two weeks later. Pedro was charged with accessory after the fact to murder burning personal property. Two counts of withholding evidence from criminal. Proceeding two counts of conspiracy improper disposition of a human body and intimidation of a witness. Pedro was sentenced to seven to eight years. One charge of withholding evidence from criminal proceeding and sentenced separately on each of the other charges. But all of those will run concurrently with the seventy eight year sentence. Pedro must complete the sentences from two prior cases before these sentences even begin the shooter. Nerkin morales was sentenced to fifteen to twenty years on a charge of voluntary manslaughter. As part of a plea agreement he was also charged with improper disposition of a human body and conspiracy as well as other charges mercedes. D is right was charged with accessory after the fact to murder burning personal property. Two counts of withholding evidence from criminal proceedings two counts of conspiracy improper disposition of the human body intimidation of a witness unlawful possession of a firearm unlawful possession of ammunition without identification card misleading. A police officer and subornation of perjury mercedes was called the ringleader. By her co-conspirators. She cleaned up the apartment and then hid the firearm. Afterwards she was released on assuredly bond under the condition she wear. Gps monitoring device and follow a curfew of nine pm to seven am. Kimberly perez was charged with accessory after the fact to murder burning personal property withholding evidence from criminal proceedings two counts of conspiracy and improper disposition of a human body. She was released on her own recognizance and had similar restrictions to mercedes except her curfew was midnight to five am. Matthew ross was charged with accessory to murder after the fact while joshua it ely was charged with perjury in relation to the grand jury investigation. A laundry gillan chelsea rodriguez were also indicted on charges of accessory to murder after the fact and charges information about their trials is not available and it could be because the covid nineteen pandemic has slowed or halted many trials on march thirteenth. Two thousand eighteen around eight am in the community of sheffield. Firefighters found five people. Dead inside the five include. Couple lou karpinski and his wife justine wilbur. And their three children son merrick three years old and alexander zoe seven year old twins. One adult was found on the first floor and the other adult was found on the second floor with the three children. It was later determined. That jus- team was by herself. While luke was with the kids lucan justin both worked as patent attorneys for different companies look was a federal chemical patent examiner and justin worked for a law firm where she worked on patents on a broad range of topics including nanotechnology and cancer treatments. She was considered an expert in his field. Both in the us and internationally firefighters arrived at the scene. Justin subaru was parked halfway down the driveway facing the road with the key. Still inside. firefighters had to move the car to get their trucks to the house. Also found inside was a box with families financial paperwork justin's purse and luke's wallet neighbors told investigators. This was not where she normally parked. She usually parked just off the garage door facing the house it had been parked in. Its normal spot the night before at around seven pm. Luke's truck was parked inside the garage. Which was also abnormal. According to the neighbors over the following days more information came out about the deaths there were two twenty pound propane tanks found upstairs and accelerate was used and the smoke detectors had been disabled justin's throat had been brutally slashed. Well beyond her windpipe. Most neighbors said they had never heard the to arguing but their closest neighbors said they had heard the couple fighting once a month or so including the night of march eleventh. The children had been picked up from school on march twelfth by luke who told the school they all had dental appointments. However luke took them home to kill them and lay in. Wait for justin. Investigators said all of this led them to believe the murders had been premeditated. The children and justin were found wearing the same clothes they'd had on at school and work. Although justina smothers said that there were no marital issues. Investigators found that. Luke suffered from a sex addiction and subsequently had extramarital affairs. Justin told a friend that he possibly had sex with prostitutes and was addicted to internet porn. This had left in setting parental controls on luke's electron ix including the television. This episode is brought to you by better help. Is there something that interferes with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals. Trust me i have been there. And i still struggle with these issues but better help online. Counseling is there for you like it's been there for me. You can connect with your professional counselor and a safe and private online environment which is so convenient for me and it really makes me feel comfortable. You can now get help on your own time and at your own pace you can schedule secure video or phone sessions plus and text with your therapist whenever you need to. They have licensed professional counselors who are specialized in lgbtq plus matters grief self esteem trauma relationships anxiety. You name it. Anything you share with them is confidential. And if you're not happy with your counselor for any reason you can request a new one at any time at no additional charge. They have over three thousand. Us licensed therapist across all fifty states and they're available worldwide start communicating and under twenty four hours. The best thing is it. Secure convenient professional affordable and. It's not a crisis line. Best of all like you said. It's truly affordable option true crime. Fan club podcast listeners. Get ten percent off your first month with discount code. Tfc so why not get started today. Go to better help. Dot com slash. Tfc simply fill out a questionnaire to help them. Assess your needs and get match with the counselor. You'll love that's better help dot com slash. Tc to get ten percent off your first month. Lucan justin were high school sweethearts at were kuna in nineteen ninety six justin sister. Kristen also graduated that year out of class of one hundred thirty two students. The couple were remember as to outstanding students. The couple moved away to pursue their careers returning in two thousand sixteen to build a house. The house was completed in late. Two thousand seventeen right before christmas and the couple called it their carriage house as they hope to build a bigger home on the land someday. Justina was highly regarded by her colleagues. Who said of her. She was smart knowledgeable dedicated and hard working. She was a devoted mother to her wonderful children and a true friend to everyone in our firm. The deaths were hard on the small community. It was hardest of all on. Justin's mother terry who held a special birthday dinner for justina a year later terry wrote to my beautiful daughter in heaven. I send these birthday wishes. I'm sure you are as amazing in heaven as you were in life and to those of you she left behind i give my heartfelt thanks for being such a long part of my daughter's life a million wishes would not bring you back. I know because i tried a million tears would not bring you back. I know because i tried. On friday april thirteenth of two thousand eighteen and nine one one call was placed about a possible shooting at fifty. Three ash mir drive. When officers arrived they found the body of twenty four year old cassette he clark inside a vehicle to cd had been shot multiple times an autopsy later determined. She had gunshot wounds to her head torso and upper extremities. The morning of the incident case workers from the department of children and families were sent to the address to assist the children present. At the time there was no idea how many children were there or who their parents were. Michael s boulet cassette. He's boyfriend and the father of their children was arrested and charged with murder. He was held without bail before his arraignment the investigation revealed michael was the one who made the nine one one call when he placed the call. He said i just killed my ex. It sounded like he was throwing up throughout the call. When officers arrived they found michael sitting on the ground beside a dodge journey. Suv holding a nine millimeter handgun. Police told him to drop the gun and then took him into custody. The gun had an empty clip but he had a full clip in his pocket. Michael told police that he and cassidy had been dating for about nine years. Sometimes they're fights had escalated into islands. The morning she died she had shown up to pick up their children and a fight had erupted. Michael said cassese verbally assaulted him which caused him to lose his temper. He pulled out his pistol from the small of his back and fired until the gun clicked. Cassivi and michael had four children together and michael had another child from another relationship. Qasidi was studying to be a midwife and was slated to graduate in two thousand nineteen. Michael was set to go to trial in early. Twenty twenty but in order to spare cassini's family the pain of enduring trial. He pleaded guilty of homicide and was sentenced to life in prison. Cassidy's mother kim forest read a victim impact statement during the sentencing. She said every day. I wake up hoping this was a terrible nightmare and every day my heart and soul large crushed a new the fact she was taken from us not by accident but by the hands of someone we considered family was at the trail doubly hurtful. She also described cassivi as a shining light. That help illuminate my path in this world in may two thousand eighteen police making a routine traffic stop for a broken tail. Light uncovered a serial killer living in springfield. Once the officer approached the vehicle. The driver sped off but crashed into a police car. When police approached the car again they saw the passenger a- badly beaten woman who said she had been held captive by the driver. She said he had held her for thirty days and had sexually assaulted her shed. A broken arm possible broken jaw stab wounds bruises from being struck with a blunt object and a leg infection. She was taken to the hospital for treatment. Investigators searched stewart's home and property which actually belonged to his mother. They found three bodies over two days both inside and outside the house the other residents of the home were safe and unharmed. Although the department of children and families took emergency custody of a child stewart had been found guilty of burglary and theft in new jersey in two thousand seven he had also been found guilty of assault and battery breaking and entering and robberies in massachusetts. He'd been arrested three separate times in springfield in two thousand seventeen including one arrest where he was accused of assaulting a woman on the street while being arrested he bit an officer on the leg as the police investigated these crimes. They uncovered witnesses. Who had been assaulted by stewart. One woman was walking home late at night. After ankle surgery. She was tired and wanted to go home. So in the dark car pulled up on cider and the driver asked if she wanted a ride home. She only hesitated for a moment before she got into the car when she got into the car he smelled of body odor and she could tell he had been drinking heavily. She soon realized he was going the wrong way and he locked the doors stewart. Weldon was well known in the drug ring areas of springfield and chicopee. He was considered violent and was known for being a crack user himself he would find vulnerable women who were drying out or going through withdrawal and give them drugs soon. Who would abusive. Most people who knew him said he was given to sudden and public outbursts of brutality focusing on sick or struggling women one woman who was familiar with him said he was odd but always seemed gentle until the night. He cold her on the street in late. Two thousand sixteen she screamed rape and he ran off. Her husband said she was bruised for days. After one unnamed man new stewart fairly well and would hang out with him often stewart had a girlfriend and the man said stewart would beat her frequently hewa tell stewart to leave her alone but the girlfriend would still show up beaten and bruised once while stuart and his girlfriend were on the street stewart began slapping her the unnamed man and others got involved but the girlfriend asked them not to get involved because they would make it worse. Investigators are not sure when the women found on stewart's property died but can narrow it down slightly based on the dates. They were reported missing. The first one reported was america liden. She was reported missing on december. First two thousand seventeen. America had two daughters but had struggled with drug addiction ever since her sister had died of a drug overdose in two thousand. Ten america was known for being friendly generous with hugs and always quick to smile and laugh. America had started calling herself jordan. Which was the name. Her sister had often used she. I fell the radar in late summer of two thousand seventeen but no one was worried at first as she often disappeared for small periods of time. But when she didn't show up for thanksgiving they knew something was wrong. her boyfriend. Jason walsh felt like america had started using again and somehow became known to stewart. The next missing woman was ernestine ryan's who was reported missing on march eighteenth. Two thousand eighteen. She had last been seen on march. Eighth two thousand eighteen. She also had two daughters and had struggled with drug addiction. Her brother said she had always tried to be a good mother despite her issues when she went missing the family i held out hope that she had just gone to connecticut. The third victim kayla escalante had never been reported missing. She'd been homeless for years and was estranged from her family. In addition to her addiction issues she struggled with mental illness. Kayla said she wanted to be clean and in two thousand fifteen people who knew her thought she had succeeded. That's when she joined the new day church of springfield and was baptized. The members of the church took her under their wing and through her. A baby shower as kayla was expecting a baby girl however she stopped going to church justice suddenly Had started in january of twenty sixteen chicopee. Police took her to the baystate medical center in springfield when she threatened to kill herself several months later springfield police arrested her for possession of crack cocaine. These women were known to many people in the area particularly at the methadone clinic. But there was no clear. Indication of how stewart had met these women. The owner of a liquor store in the area said that stewart and all three women patronized store and america and ernestine often came in with stuart after his arrest his dna was taken and entered into a database where it matched against unsolved sexual assault cases from two thousand nine and two thousand seventeen stewart was indicted on fifty two counts including murder rape kidnapping and strangulation and october of twenty twenty. A hampton superior court judge granted to mental health evaluations for stuart with an expert for the defense and prosecution. Stewart's trial was supposed to begin in april twenty twenty but all jury trials and massachusetts were delayed to covid nineteen o k fan club members as i conclude this episode. My one question to you is how will you sleep tonight. Thank you for listening if you enjoyed this episode. Please leave a positive review and rating on apple podcasts. Or your podcast player of choice. It really does how you can find us on most social media channels twitter at t. Cfc pod facebook dot com slash t. Cfc podcast instagram at true crime. Fan club pod and of course our website is true crime fan club dot com. If you have an episode suggestion send us an email at t. Cfc pod at g mail dot com. This episode was written and researched by susie. Saint john content editing by brittany martinez.

krista Krista Pedro atoms police department daniel pedro mark nerkin berkshire county northampton Tina christie crista justin Josh hallmark krista steel Mark steel mark krista krista lease
NutriMedical Report Show Monday Oct 21st 2019  Hour Two  Deborah Tavares, STOPtheCrime.net, Fire Burnout Insurance Rothchild Genocide, Globalist Plan to Depopulate,

NutriMedical Report

53:50 min | 1 year ago

NutriMedical Report Show Monday Oct 21st 2019 Hour Two Deborah Tavares, STOPtheCrime.net, Fire Burnout Insurance Rothchild Genocide, Globalist Plan to Depopulate,

"It's the Dr Phil Show presented by neutral medical dot com call eight eight eight six four zero London by Mark Steel for everyone to understand how we are being a mind controlled through the five G. Network for literally want brought well John F. Kennedy said this because sadly schools are set up now for planned Rockefeller told US quote I don't want a nation of thinkers I want a nation of workers therefore up in the United States just like China where if you criticize the government or you have bad debt even Jaywalking in China in his very famous speech about secret societies and he warned us that we were opposed around the world by Monolithic and ruthless spiracy in control of a country by military forces using weapons systems and silent weapons systems are now fully engaged to massively reduced less the more visually impaired people and that's vital to understand what we're facing there's also the five G. Apocalypse of it out with a platform of understanding that we must understand that we're under a worldwide government of occupation in the definition of occupation means seizure coutts in the power shut off that we've been experiencing here in northern California last week and I have some extremely important youtube videos up on thus so I'm going to refer everyone to stop the crime dot net again to the Youtube video channel many new postings certainly you're going to also see some videos about augmented reality and virtual reality and how those tools are going to be used as they create in control all populations worldwide and why am I saying that and why do you need to understand that it's because John F. Kennedy told us this stop the crime dot net that I would highly recommend that everyone take a look at because I can't describe all of this deal detail right now because there's so much to me minds swiping creating dreams creating assassins a global hive mining this is all being set up now we're being the misinformed in the age of public education is not to create enlightenment it's to reduce as many individuals from fast it is also interesting Dr Bill is I know some people that live in such an apartment and one of the people I know now has brain cancer enslavement through lack of knowledge so saddling when you're in school and you have a PhD. Well I won't you know we won't hold that against you but the truth of the matter is you are being thank you Dr Bill Hey training that a motherlode of truth it's agonizingly painful many of you know the the social credit system punish citizens by blocking freedoms so what are they blocking well they're blocking your ability to travel small earthquakes against infrastructure in increasing infrastructure fatigue and a little bit more chemistry a disruption worldwide We certainly had a very strange a weather event in Dallas last night world order we find that the RFID chips will be a necessity to survive and that the chip features will today being Monday it is the twenty first of October and they had a horrific a tornado over the world and people need to understand what John F. Kennedy told us way back then that we would end up being in a system that has conscripts RFID chip that's coming in that's going to be a requirement of this expanding crushing control grid of the new one collapsing we're going to have to look at multiple factors involved with that of course not just all the weather weapons that are massively causing we're live down a of Deborah that's rock and roll you've got lots of stuff to cover if I have to answer to comment here and there but let's go yeah well I wanNA talk about and There lots of plumbing leaks they can't stop the leaks what we know is that the increased frequencies are like pulsing also in Dallas and they're still trying to assess the damage we're getting these strange horrific weather attacks all Our Science Certainly all of our legislators and representatives intelligence economic scientific now in smart apartments an example of that is many people now can use their cell phones or a key fob to operate their apartments and did vast human and material resources and and they were going to control script everything military d allusion of Justice Freedom and democracy and corporations have no feelings no mobile different names critical operations all that conscripted we are USA INC we are not a country that we believe that we have were out actually Earth Inc we have which particularly what's happening and what has recently happened in Ecuador the indigenous native Ecuadorians have gone into the major Be The only way that you'll be able to buy yourself and you you can connect the chip with other various electronic devices were seeing that the native population came in from even Peru to help Ecuador why because this is happening here too and they are understand the cities in Ecuador Paseo weeks and shut the cities down they were peaceful protests and of course with military being brought in on a train or to purchase items that you want there blocking banking there blocking the use of phones and so much more and when we look at the Oh but we rescue ourselves well that's absolutely true and I want to talk about a number of things during the broadcast today but I wanNA start a corporate predatory government agencies that have deceived populations worldwide and the problem is the tragedy of this corporate structure is the there were at least a hundred fifty deaths fifteen hundred plus injuries and over fifteen hundred plus arrest and on everyone's attention to the austerity programs that are occurring now as a result of the IMF and the Catholic Church. Stan what's going on they're watching the train stations of burning now Again even historical buildings are being burned to the OH cracks those cracks become rupture that's we're talking about please continue yep that's absolutely what we're talking about that's what we're saying so as we see infrastructure actual reality as possible algae algae is we're not on area where on actually I call it mega university sample in Ecuador where you could normally take a cab which many of the poor people rely on for travel when they do have to travel you could take it house trains being burned in Chile Cost of transportation skyrocketing we have contacts in Chile. The people don't under cab a few hours away for a few dollars well one way well now that's twenty one dollars plus one way people cannot afford right now we have The the public is protesting all of the corruption so this is becoming worldwide as the as the policies are now now how it's happening here in the United States is of course we have many aspects of austerity for example the increased numbers of homeless the world's run ninety percent of the world crunchies run by the Vatican so the world reserve currency system and they even control every currency in the Western world and they're socialism and went side like the Democrats call it corporate corporatism for example I saw guided by Matola and talks about monopolies monopolies shortly created through the reduction of all resources of the inability for us to access resources and so for me business on our streets everywhere on the front page of our newspaper here in Sonoma's county where about sixty miles north of the Golden Gate Bridge this urges are are absolutely I get no invitations from churches I would love to talk to churches you tell us more well absolutely I wanted great to walk because of the homelessness we are being absolutely destroyed and facing shortages of everything even Iraq tried to actually reduce the sad or especially Doosan exactly what you're saying and he basically what he's saying in what I'm saying you say is that all the governments and all the churches in the world task weekend they were talking about a half a mile of homeless encampments along very popular trail where people are now around the world to right yeah and in force we know in France the yellow vest this is happening every where thirty is thirteen point six million going up every hundreds of thousands per week in China they wanNA bring back because the plan is to do this everywhere in the world leave reduced here in California by twenty twenty just a few months away we're going to be required a to reduce our water consent lusts understand how education has yet again deceived all of us and most of us because we've been taught water comes from rain and Snow Melt and action option down to fifty five gallons of water per per day possible dishes yeah I just went to a wall rain and snow melt comes from primary water and we just have to start spreading this information what we're seeing literally now being felt with the reductions of resources and we need to talk about water because water is going to be massive finding that their land their homes are being taken away what they're what they're protesting is the high cost of fuel and that's being intent in school literally watching children now that are becoming mentally ill because they're being told we're running out of everything and that was a little girl out of water and most important to understand we're not running out of water we have a website primary water dot org we make a deal which they're going to force on China which control the last ten percent of the world currencies because Chinese systems our own kind of merged version of swift they're getting ready couple of years to actually force the mark of the beast and the is laboratory of whatsapp from Google and China to do test on the people's about three point six million people that are under citizens l. for those of you that have not watched the movie Chinatown I would recommend that you do it certainly does demonstrate the powers that be eight to take over the water supply misinform your water comes from and lead you down the road of fossil water that we're running just China older one thing that's totalitarian we already have a totalitarian government here look at California right and people don't understand the you actually look at it well if you look at a weld or even plastic if you hit something with a pulse magnetic field which called shearing force shears in it starts Dr Build Eagles life support is a proprietary blend of vegan protein activated vitamins essential minerals amino acids probiotics green tea digestive enzymes anti athletes have post operative challenges chronic illness elderly or a family once a quick delicious drink Dr Build Eagles life support for compromise nutrition in one great Tories cancer prevention detoxification and much more your body will high five you for this one is the best complete nutritious meal replacement on the market whether you are in you wanNA think of that way human race what's also interesting Dr Bill is they're showing all of these Hollywood stars planting trees to re into Dr Bill is we went into this onto the streets back in September when they had the climate strike with the children walk out growth forest while we are being laughed at by the overlords because they're destroying the trees by all of the heavy metals that are just destroying the definitely want to continue to encourage everybody download the flyers on the water from primary water dot org start doing something even spreading flyers x linked and dropped down message had neutral medical dot com and then place your orders for regular emergency food for yourself and your family nothing like emergency food I neutral medical dot com going to shop byproducts and dropdown menu and stay well was detrimental every day of your life looming photon therapy in water film and it was unbelievable it was a national geographic film it's a revised film of Chinatown one to eight hundred seventy one or visit US online at neutral medical dot com neutral medical dot com for the whole family legacy foods searching for a high-quality complete nutritional rank as your whole family will love neutral medicals lights before has arrived all of your daily nutritional requirements in one quick delicious drink the Greenwich Bloomberg is an example of an aspirin or child abuse abuse child acting as a million of the Global Enviro bankers I call it longest food storage shed light nothing like legacy emergency foods and if you place a regular must be better you get twenty percent off and free shipping they want to drop her auction content are greeting of our world the ozone layer to disappear the terrifying for earth for foreign galactic species the environment bankers are actually eugenicist they're actually trying to genesis is the population of earth and destroy the biosphere we don't want to shore up and make it better they want it to be less the top recommendation for Dr Bell Deal for the Los Auction concentration the largest entrees abound protein the most varied entrees as well for almost every illness. There's nothing like the sine wave therapy for improving body healing for exercise but also genetic treatments Dr Belkin provide can the exact back in a moment do you have difficulty taking supplements this is very important because this is happening this week and I hear the music coming on so I'm going to pick this up on the other side of the break but stem cell therapies wrote the body and genetically stimulate the body to release DNA activated The genetic therapy with the sine waves curve of triple eight to one to eight hundred seventy one or go to the website and instrumental and give us a contact doctor bills available to help you get well neutral. Medical need a powerful ally to fight wellness clear stealth pathogens that promote autoimmune disease cancer and vascular inflammation and plaque and promote healing tissues now pathogen free with two daily bugs and serious pathogens ellison met is the powerful universal pathogen killer's latest advance of German source alison ends medically stabilize to clear the body of bacteria Fungi Michael Bacteria and parasites it penetrates body biofilms and is non toxic to tissues pathogen resistance cannot develop for long-term body optimized neutralized frequencies for disease states illness getting sonic life machines who Dr Bill Diggle at neutral medical dot com contact us at neutral medical dot Com am showing up in the trees and it's burn top of the trees the ozone I mean people don't get okay and then they become a fire starter please continue go ahead to add this trees and off the top of the top. The top of the trees are all burnt as because they're fiery accelerates like aluminum sewri Umbro Graham in stride your medical report on the Genesis Radio Network over lines every weekday neutral medical dot com bringing nutrition and medicine together we are tasting smoothie just and cold water almond milk cruise or anything else you like neutral medical life support try our great tasting chocolate or vanilla today call triple eight ABC's given for atomic residents but silent linus pauling for minerals and amino acids seem HCC production of MSG are correct structural protein enzyme deficiency. Dr Bill uses it for pain control for regeneration techniques for organ regeneration ten to mutation of your stem cell activity programs more power than prior al-Ahmed you can't get a more powerful ally to fight daily bugs and serious pathogens give your body what it needs Alison Med order Dr if the power goes out and you can't go to grocery stores or if there's an emergency the national prices so neutra medical com top recommendation legacy food you do get emergency foods for your supply for preparation and get it for legacy foods contact Dr Bill for the link at Notre Medical Dot com go to the shop by bill at neutral medical dot com triple eight two two eight seventy one he'll prescribe lizzy providing nutro-ceuticals helpless regeneration healing and pain control using therapies a doctor bell provides his the best sign we've exercise machine on the planet doing whole-body vibration opening up the muscle insulin resistance improve perfusion really which is in the billions because many restaurants that were barely making it small restaurants lost their food their refrigeration they had to throw Norma County Board of Supervisors knew a year in advance that there was going to be a master shutdown and and we've all actually known because Pacific gas and electric nothing like the limited photon therapy for the easy therapy for your is your pain your joints regeneration organs detoxification of the body goals neutral dine at triple eight two two eight eight seven one or neutral medical dot com that's one triple eight two one two eight eight seven one or neutral medical dot com and listen to the as they can track who the hell you are and if you can walk into a federal building or a public space you're delusional do you not know this a world problem not just the US and a world government October first next year under George Bush doubts in every country on earth the world ideas coming and if you don't think when they force vaccinate you they're going to chip in the shadow world government runs it through the Intel agencies zone they could give a crap what country of his communist Democrat or whatever please continue ahead oh lots of food away gift food away when they were throwing it out in the trash cans there were wild animals coming down from the hills and bears and certain areas foraging Santa Rosa California where we were hit with those horrid fires in October of two thousand seventeen now I want to tell you what the board members warranty to be very careful going through the traffic lighting systems but what I want to say is this Info time machine from Dr Bell Diggle neutra medical dot com triple eight two two eight hundred seventy one stay well with medical sonic life machines while the most me does which is going to reduce our ability to communicate as cell towers are burned up also there were many people that were stuck in their election chairs or their lifts because they weren't able to have or connect to electricity and some people sat in their wheelchairs and we're not able to calls referencing the power shutdowns and the Pacific gas and electric website went down and we have a very very important radio up on stop the crime dot net that I wished everybody would watch about the power shutdowns and what really happened behind the shutdowns but what yeah I want to get into more of what the power shut offs did here in Snohomish County and they're still totaling the a loss available at four sites certainly big pharma would not miss a moment of of dispensing some of their toxic horrid drugs but making sense well I of course explained to them that thankfully now they're being Delphi because our leaders have been Delphi us what does that mean because made many many notices in their bills etc that we're going to lose power we're GONNA have a power shutdown and they weren't getting any answers and some of the commissioners made comments such as they were finding the meetings to be very clunky it wasn't on affected them there were two hospitals in our areas that were affected by the power outages and they said though that they had made medications the county board of supervisors some of the comments about those blackout days here they were going down to the PG knee and California public utility commission buildings also they talked about they're out there over three thousand restaurants here in over three hundred he determined meetings with agendas already set and you're being placated by not allowing your answers to be the have places where you can go to plug in etc we've been warned now we're being told this is going to be a common experience and were that food but what we had were dozens and dozens and dozens of traffic four way traffic light intersections that had no light study at prey on research natural cry laugh scream just like the movie network and do something about it winner's getting primary water getting a to get out of those chairs we yeah we also know that there were hundreds of of phone calls be in school anyway because they're teaching them nothing but misinformation and creating mental cases out of our children by teaching them the the school superintendent made the decision to close the school down they never lost power so of course they're complaining that they lost the money's per student well our students should not when we had the shutdowns there were thirty two counties that were affected and I want to say that the number of hours that had the most hours of shutdown was I also want to say Dr Bill is that the county asked Pacific gas and electric for a map of how the county was wired and they won fifty of those three three three thousand plus restaurants lost power for days and some of the things that we found out was that one of the school systems was trying to contact Pacific gas and electric to see if they were going to power off this particular area PG and he did not respond we're running out of resources but I will say let me call term called their Greta Gun dicing allow kids well what to know where the circuits work and Pacific gas and electric would not respond they would not give them a map also thing and ever since the power has been restored there's no there's a the lack of synchronicity now in the lighting so they're still accidents and people are being responded to that same thing occurred with the county board of supervisors I also want to say that cal fire now has reduced the repeaters for the HAM radio they set up pacific gas and electric setup an area in Santa Rosa for only one hundred people to be served at this Mike Crow grid that they set up for people that didn't have power so it was understaffed not enough people could later machine or something backup generator or getting yourself personal protection or even care buyers for the financial collapse because they WANNA do it again they're going to do it to the point where eventually you don't think they're going to chip you listen red light foreign aaron thread is extremely important for pain control simulation nitric oxide group reviews and SIM cell activation and reduction size back lots of stuff to cover my God you know the problem is I begged that people stop wasting time attacking the Messenger just listen to the message mini of communities were concerned about was the medical health for people that were impaired in some way and how that shut down this amazing Limit Photon therapy this year will probably have an additional device frequency therapy during the phase of life to obtain illumine fulltime machine contact Dr often we have to virus there's three things his power and it fires never learn show with a pattern EST number to reduce the Dow Number Three Stop Using Smart Grid which is Rosa that were impacted in there was a quite a bit of equipment damage because of the power shut down They had to bring in extra trailers for works right Fred sparks into sketch Margaret please continue okay so there were fifth over fifteen county owned structures this is insanity go ahead as you mentioned generators right now I want to tell you what was on in the newspaper this was a concept dot net they they talked about how the water supply in some areas could not maintain water with regards to food waste they said that the social fabric of our area was greatly impacted and they're working right now on determining Lissa generators and how genie outages they say generators cause pollution and so they say the shut offs raise Clean Air Asher and or distribution so they were having problems with municipal supplying of water because of the power grid shutdown again many multiple traffic in the damage and the cost and I found it unbelievable to learn that they have forty eight hours to give some type of an idea they're saying that all of a sudden you have many localized sources of pollution that are spewing carcinogens right where we breeze in the go to site was was down and you can see that we recorded that in one of the youtube videos that you can see on stop the crime injuries because of the lights in the four way intersections being impacted or not working again as I said school suffered see seventy two hours deadline to provide damage costs I was surprised with that there is no way that they're they are able to report worries they're saying that the generators powered by gas and other fuels are increase in greenhouse gas emissions so mets five o'clock today so many people haven't signed up many people of course are afraid to sign up but I say that Liz reporting on the losses of the power outage because there's another potential outage plan for this Thursday this coming day and run Johnnie is five o'clock today and again today today being a Monday it is October the twenty twenty I financial losses due to go to the closures food waste was is a huge problem a tremendous amount of cost we make a tremendous amount of money because we're the wine country and the power outages occurred during crush where the the vintners right there untie sorry no wonder this is being above rule by a bunch of maniac extra dimensional demonic right next door to you from school to hospitals so now they're coming down on generators because of course we know that they're starting to eliminate the access want to continue to talk about what I discovered during the meetings I attend I hear the conversation go ahead on the ground but as you mentioned in California and filling out the paperwork to get remediation for their homes burnt out or damage so basically a deadline deadline because it's most important to under stunt stand that we are county survives by visitors they're not going to give people adequate help to try to get the paperwork done please continue yeah the deadline actually for what you just said fulfilling out of a lawsuit against T of petroleum diesel gas and natural gas in our homes this is all part of the austerity program. I'M GONNA continue on with the notes that I took during the meeting Jake and so it's putting many businesses out of business our budgets here in Cinema County are already in a war tight sanders not just evil from greedy self centered and sexually perverted maniacs we're dealing with a needle that's the Trans Galactic well what I'm doing right now Dr Bill Insurance Reimbursement and they go on to say the enormity of the food spoilage here and I'm getting a Generators help for people a lot of people dependent on these I've heard of people died because they've turned off the power right now I want to say this the true economic impacts they're saying that insurance losses for businesses will likely not qualify for any type of economy because of the fires in the floods that we had in February of two thousand and nineteen and now we have these blackouts and they go on standard of living back to a time seventeen fifty and this is important this is very important I'm just going to read this right now between six point five to fifteen million dollars within the first twenty four hours and they need they say they're going to be determined talk about how we lost they estimate that in within the first twenty four hours of the blackouts here in Sonoma's county the losses were right in the process of processing all their grapes any of the vintners smaller vendors had to rent generators at the cost of twenty thousand dollars per the match figuratively speaking and start a fire to justify the outage and they did there were fires caused by southern California Edison's lines down in southern California so they're they are flipping the power off now it will this is all part of reducing ours it has a message for the bankers digital currencies are on your doorstep in the US and other countries and around the world it is Chris How's that well that sums it up nicely so nandor proxies or avatars human beings I called people with clay and iron and we just we'll lead to a new global payment system fairly rapidly so this is what we this is what we have all converging till October of next year the state of fetal life allows the three hundred bio-molecules and six hormones produced by the Placenta to be supportive of the general that they knew in advance and they talk about next steps and how they're going to take a residential survey of of everyone's experience actor of the IMF monetary and Capital Markets Department said in an interview there is at least the potential that this new technology are is an amazing new product with a patent to preserves reenter bio-molecules six hormones same as fetal life where you don't age at all this is this week they're talking about when the finance ministers and central bankers come to Washington this week the International Monetary Fund this was a grid test this was an intentional outage we didn't have the winds we were heavily heavily Kim trailed so it was a concern that they would like these comments are amazing the Deborah mazing who are you still looking for that one iodine that you can invited southern California to eliminating malaria parasites reported by medical missionaries in Central India. Doctor Bills you try ADINE is simply the most powerful healing Formula Pasta matter of time before mark of the beast hang on to bias Adrian the nine today and triple eight to one to eight hundred seventy one or visit US online at neutral medical dot com Bridgier Velvet Dr Build Eagles proven time and time again to be the very best iodine available for you try Adine is the only Tesla activated monitoring right damage losses in seventy two hours while they're trying to also I found out something this is important to know I heard reports Fox and elsewhere more than half the people affected really trust a medical doctor endorse a product that is backed by honest research and true integrity of Science Church no further go to neutral medical dot com. MD A. M. A. C. A. M. of neutral medical dot com and a consultant providing email advice free an advanced protocols for your optimize wellness even advanced stem cell therapy support treatment do get neutral medicals red deer velvet Dr from Dr Building dramatical Dot Com and body dramatically we have ageless which makes you age less which repairs your DNA extend your telomeres etcetera we have life support. The detox is face to the Taylor's well anywhere in the world and provide you recommendations referral of specialty clinics worldwide so contact me Dr Bill Bagel at neutral medical dot com that's N. from dacians to give you an idea of consultation and a full protocols tried to help you regenerate your tissues heal naturally without the use of toxic poly pharmacy I can send text are going to happen over the next weeks and months here in California and Southern California Vista County Eighty nine point one degree in my studio and his hot rotate over ninety degrees the globalist banksters and globalist Enviro maniacs arrayed actually get rid of a lot of us now they're not looking for a long time in the future decades waiting for Blade runner in twenty forty killing people by the droves right now there was an article by a the Kaiser medical that came out about in April of two thousand nineteen that they were finding homeless people dead in the I medical dot com or eight to onto eight hundred seventy one and injure medical dot com we held the most amazing well how to prepare we have an invaluable preparedness video up on stop the crime dot net it is entitled power and drinks would invest most feel highest quality by nutrient exposure to your body to heal and regenerate and the most powerful persistence nutrient st helier Asian of tissues and organs was maximum hypothesis changing the tissue and organ structure of a fetus that's why fetal surgery is performed through his nose plasma in the world optimizes might okon drill generation of new Mitochondria from totally neutralizing the venom from the desert recluse spider Asian allusion to start preparing because your neighbors lack of understanding reality doesn't necessarily mean that you to better mineral mix which are fruit flavored mixed power vitamin stay well with neutral medical every day what you get free email started protocols of our top medical grade nutraceutical initial testing and the recommendations for your own primary doctor to do as well as can't prevail upon them to start getting the tools to help us survive because your neighbor is going to be important to you as these days continue that don't believe in any of this what we are trying to do is to get the average person who is absolutely mind controlled and in a deluge flies but I I want to talk more about the shut offs because other people that are in other areas need to understand this is coming to you so you need to know there is the body of all known pathogens restores it to an alkaline state and even promote them cell regeneration order doctor bills nutrients who raped intelligent plunder us with all of these technologies that they're besetting on us and so we recommend a number of things and how it fire and power shutdowns preparedness meeting and it is being instructed by thirty year retired fire Capt Lawson as well helps with people they're trying to build a bustle using things like our special formulas Dr Wolf called Mega muscles between meals along was again go to stop the crime dot net understand that the firefighter a thirty year retired fire captain knows exactly what was behind the fires that they were directed energy weapons that they were all intentional fires but you will not hear that conversation in this article DOT COM triple agent to to eighty one stay well and stay young listening for medical doctor Bill Degan right and now this is a generic of video presentation for preparedness that you can share with people that don't know about whether weapons they haven't had rain in about three or four weeks now which God help us if he gets more several of my neighbors couldn't sell their homes because initially they couldn't even get insurance so that we found one video so that's why you can send this on to everybody you need to I lived on a boat for a while and we had to have tools in order and advanced technologies to heal regenerative he didn't contact us at neutral medical dot com that's medical dot com or eighty two onto eighty eight seven lights and flares and food and water etc we're on dry land and we're in the midst of storms in order to survive we're going to have to have ask allowed to be built in new construction and thankfully those that have an have still have natural gas during the power right before the Federal Election October first next year twenty twenty every country has to have this new world ID and every country while tools and there's no other way around it now we have to have tool so that's why I'm highly recommending you take a look at stop the crime dot net earns company that backs us it allows us to have insurance but they're getting ready to actually start demolishing civilization and world id now forced to put in by George Bush Junior Hills on the sidewalks in on benches and there was really no explanation why but they're just dropping like outages still were able to take hot showers if they didn't have natural gas in their homes and the power shut off they wouldn't have had hot shot in October one next year let's eleven months away now it's the law it's not just here in America they're gonNA sit fires they're going to start depopulation the coastal regions who are Youtube Channel but I WANNA go on to say right now in California in all of the rebuilds and in twenty twenty there will be no more natural to survive a squalls and rough weather etc should we have to abandon ship and that included life breath life rafts invest and the roadways this is all Zion actually terminate the population isn't it yes it absolutely is and we have to remember that Pacific Gas and electric is a convicted felon and they've already breached the aspects of of being talks pathways Glueck gear honoration sulfate and methylation pathway support we've glycemic so blocks of carbohydrate absorption healthily diabetes or you're taking a two three capsules twice a day with uncle my son Michael d two provides an amazing support for regeneration any tissue and organ in the body solar panels will not work when there's a power shut down you have to have battery backup storage and they will be deploying the lithium ion battery parts energy light we have the amazing neutral complete the most complete read and re greened drink in the world the best most feel and flavor often Mexican ready for these multiple layer protections because taking away power making your food rot making it even dangerous to get on the road because it controls will work on the highways and and they control your cities too so right now they're scaring people into getting solar which again is a requirement in twenty twenty two have solar panels Ellen and so I can tell you we have the perpetrator running the shows here they control California this is Ross child this is the Rothschild Syndicate and uh of every aspect of resources and why because the wildlands network that is a also a map called the wildly stories the Tesla batteries that catch on fire and it's important to note that what we have here is a massive takeover and western civilizations and industrialized civilizations must radically change their present econ you will be stunned but what is underneath the wild lands map in the redesigning of where populations are is called deep ecology today is on fire many places are in mass disruption because of the reduction of Energy Frances also in that position consequences of all of the disruption and protests world wide again I mentioned then as a Walea Ecuador now chilly a lot of time into getting information out now I'm going to read something right now and this is very disturbing but again for those of you that are place war so that equally of concern and equally effects of death people worldwide would accept hello and welcome back these actions by PG option above what is needed to supply vital human needs is a moral human population must be reduced in order to survive as this ship is sinking and it is it is so I can say again look at these videos we're putting with the the the herds all of us so we have to understand that every department nationwide I annually planned reduction of the population along with the corporate structure intentionally poisoning the air the water food supply in the oceans that was a plan to repeal in mountain that was said to be a hoax when it was presented to Johnson because of course they saw that this would cause massive disruption amongst all of OMIC technological and ideological structures so we have a takedown world wide and we're seeing the here are some points about some of the deep ecology all life human and non human has equal value a resource consent ten thousand and fifteen thousand gallons per house is even better because then you can contact your local fire agencies and let them know you have water then if that l. of land urban interface we're being told if we are outside the city grossed boundary we are on our own we're talking about when there's a power shutdown in Russian so the United States is being pummeled like the rest of the world we're all in the same boat and we need now tools in high-risk fire zone to have a minimum of ten thousand gallons of water topside with hoses in generation capability so that you now that you have enough stored water topside it's being recommended that if you're in an area where there is vegetation and you're in thing that is facing us right now this is unbelievable this is from our local fire agency and we're out here in the woolley which means why Gee then deep ecology tells us exactly what the climate action plans are telling us and but in more frank words because this is very disturbing and I think everybody should hear what's happening with our fire agencies but it says here that we've got a vote on a ballot measure can get sprinklers on your roof you can put you can clog up your downspouts on Eru so the water sits in your ends project which you can type it in the search bar on stop the crime dot net and take a look at the map of the United States and you'll see where human settlements are allowed to be Acer's again looking at what John F. Kennedy warned us back in the sixties and soon after he was assassinated the report from Iron Mountain came out which was your properties and that will vary dependent on the square footage of your home if you're on agricultural land if you have outbuildings etc they want an end apt the creation of climate change because of the earth being intentionally polluted and then us being blamed this is what is behind the report from is run by the staffers a

Dr Bill United States Youtube John F. Kennedy China Chile ADINE California brain cancer Mark Steel Dr Bill Diggle Dr Bill Bagel Rockefeller G. Network Ecuador autoimmune disease
When The Crowd Say Bo' Select Committee

The Red Box Politics Podcast

40:38 min | 2 months ago

When The Crowd Say Bo' Select Committee

"Hello this is a red fox forecast. I'm surely lovely to receive messages last week particularly at that interview with Cam newton five. I'm going to show. That was very nice of you. You can always get in touch. Don't get in touch. Post a comment on I can't Or wherever you get your podcast on the audience podcast thing because it helps with the weight mumbo jumbo job positions and all that reviewers coming view. Lovely fight coming up on today's episode bigger week in politics this week dominic comings. I'm not sure if you've heard of him. He's giving evidence to a select committee. What's a select committee. I hear you ask well. We explain exactly what the point of the mar and how you survive on Whether you're a witness or you're asking the questions and patrick kid. Tom foam sketch. Writer his take on the highs and lows liquidities. That's coming up in a moment. But first we kick off with their columns panel on mondays. Always liberace that's libby purpose and semester. Let's start your column libby on the bbc at it feels like a sort of slightly weary lamented. Somebody works the bbc for for many years. seeing what's happened with the martin bashir case the gen. Will you've basically rounded up a lot of people who have a veterans of the bbc and asked them what they think about the way the places when he yes. I looked for people who'd been very close to executives for quite short time who hadn't gone native and settle down the big pension and it just sort of see. What did it feel like. What is that feeling that the executive level and it was very very interesting ones. Who said you know. it's extraordinary. It come from commercial or rare commercial media. And he said you know this is. This is quite extraordinary. It's amazing you want to say. Hey guys this is fantastic. The money just keeps coming in. We don't have to have ads. You know the licence-fee comes isn't this great sipa same time. People feel incredibly hard done by all the newspapers are ought to get them until you get this atmosphere of being loyal brother officers sticking to one another and the executive level sticking to one another against this terrible enemy and he said the worst thing you heard constantly was. It's only the mail. It's only the daily mail and you know he used to say i on i on boys you know this is read by a lot of people. This is public paying us. What why can't we. It can't be just them can. It was just murdoch. It's just the mail that was really interesting and another completely different people. I was talking to a drilling down into how it works with a news and how the danger is that. There's always some level above you can refer it up to and if you referred up through enough layers the blame sort of get sponged up like spongy flat layers of of kind of soggy cake and the only blame then falls down onto people like my my visa. The you know quite a lot of people have had this but is blamed on an fail up points Feeling and it's a cultural thing it can be dealt with. I really we've got a new director general. There's been such a crisis that he's almost a free hand. You know he can say look. I'm sorry going to abolish that job. That job that job responsibilities can afford directly on program editors you will be sacked if you get it wrong. There is there is no recourse. He could do all sorts of interesting things whether he will. Nobody can know is because actually culturally libby when something goes wrong. The answers to create more layers. Not in the michael grade says they should be a whole special new board to look at stuff and you know what it would do. It would sort of stroke its chin a lot and then recommended another board just beyond it should be. It should be started. I don't think that's the answer. What did you think the the arts because everyone can accept that not only got twenty five years ago. Go wrong five. What four five years ago when martin machine was was rehired but instead of just sort of prosecuting the specifics of the previous things it does seem to be like a bulldozer. A cultural problem at the bbc. Well i think there's definitely something in libya says and it's really cetera. Doesn't it in w one a that. Bbc comedy that they did themselves. You can imagine now ahead of integrity and head of connectivity. Being pointed to manage this whole crisis can see the the meetings that they'd have a badge tool and so. I do think that you know oversee though is a huge Deception cooling journalistic behavior by martyn basha. And then the cover up and then all of that bought And there is about for me here. I do worry that the government is just using this as positive culture world to bash the bbc. And i you know when all of darden writing in the times today that it's a failure that strikes at the heart of our national broadcasters values and culture. I th the edges of it. I i agree with libby. There is too much bureaucracy. But i don't think it strikes at the values of the bbc. And i think there's a danger that you're lose the sort of bigger Virtue and importance of of having public sector broke. Public service. Ball cost And there is an independent regulator which is off calm and so i think the danger that this is being used for political reasons by people who have never valued or like the bbc and had into the bbc he patel. Suzy particularly even more excoriating. That could well be true. But in the way the bbc's making their life much easier for opponents of the bbc the bbc making that much easier by doing this stuff and every media organization has had problems in. It's include the one that we worked for. Now which is being very enthusiastically by the bbc's paragon of virtue the whole time and eating. I thought actually. I thought she wanted when he was this on the bbc on which the bbc reports the bbc but his sort of analysis on friday night was was a time. When the bbc's under pressure from a conservative government is under pressure from just public opinion. Because if you're paying for netflix. And amazon and now tv do you also want to be paying for. Why should you also paying for the bbc. Big question about how they and they've just a massive own-goal. He i think is but i think i think the politicians as rachel says should should basically but out of it. I mean until seems unable to say anything without it being a threat mode of discourse is threat but actually. I want it to be helpful. I really wanted to say this there. All these things. There was a chance you know things can change their all these problems. But i think the rachel's quite right that the danger of the bbc's you know the all of very many. And i say at the end of the very many people with terrific bbc values. You know being sort of hurled aside just because they haven't agreed with a particular governments line on certain things is very dangerous. I wish the politicians would just set back now. And watch what tim davie does. I hope tim davie is going to is going to do. It is going to take a firm grip. The last director. General didn't i mean. Tony hall had huge hopes of tony hall. You know i really. I really was completely completely convinced that he would be a great thing and then he he just wasn't he. he's very amiable. He's a very good person with a very good values. I'm he seemed to turn a week. And it makes you makes you sold. What about what about the general idea that maybe. The bbc focused on the part of the reason. What could sizes whether it's local websites which the overtook a local newspapers doing more and more commercial stuff posting recipes on its website and lots of the bbc wall. Slims down through doing the job of public service. Broadcaster will be less open to some this ritual. Yeah i think that's definitely a case for that. I didn't see quite why they have endless. This recipe website. so whatever. but. But i think that's not do with the kind of heart and values if the bbc that's almost to sort of get rid of the extraneous stuff and then i think i worry when they cut the world service and they cut funding for things to actually is protecting british values abroad. And you'd hope that that would be continued and expanded So i think it just depends on what you're focusing on and you're right you do need par ties. But that doesn't mean kind of cutting in hacking whole thing but that's not as long as we do for goes on commissioning. A series of marks deals in town on the bbc's side. I have to tell you everybody. Listen to mark's deals in town because it makes you love britain so much people sharing at being mocked by mark steel still going since times ideologues but apparently it is not easy for always talk. Talk talk talk all talk not houses. Virtual let's talk about the time commissioned in your chair. I mean it's quite a job you've got even having this thing. Explain what the times -cation commission is first of all the the times is going to be spending. I'm going to be carrying this thing this year. And we're going to be looking at the whole education system in the light of the pandemic new technology changing nature of work On the way in which the world has moved on really and just say is what's fit for purpose and what isn't None of the politicians seem to really be looking at serious the a tool. So we're going to look at everything from social mobility and that sort of a polling gap between rich and poor people's whether disadvantaged eighteen months behind the more advantage by the time they do that. Ucse's revenge be looking at the curriculum. We're going to be looking at testing whether jesus he's still the right way forward against looking at whether children are ready for the work place Life mental health and all those problems. We we go to paul in the paper today which says the ernest third parents think that the education system prepare children for either work or life and that is a problem. So we're going to look at what we can do to make. It better is a big sort of existential question. Of what is the point of education something learning for the sake of learning and the beauty of you know more about the world we live in out people who are ready for the for the workplace. And i suppose that's know that's before you get onto what we should do. What's your sense rights to wear. The education system should be well. Also what does it mean ready for the work face and what does it mean. education for the sake fix. I think sometimes what's happened is the system that we've got at the moment. It doesn't encourage unlikely if there's things so i've interviewed lucie calloway who's one of our commissioners in cheese a mess teacher now in hackney comprehensive she was a f- t columnist And she says that she she feels that the exam system in the kind of rote learning and the rigmarole of the monks game is discipline teaching all her pupils. So that she's you know they're so stuck it's impulsively. She said she was in an echo. Classy other diana puke lost really fascinating question about tax. And if they spent the whole hour discussing that the children would have just hedlund Though to be a huge There'd be much better prepared work and also learn to look for the sake of learning but she couldn't get through six more slides to prepare them for their exam so they could get the right answer in the exam technique process And as it since it is not fulfilling either of those things. I think we need more creativity. More less kind of mark's game menu shy the curriculum more freedom and flexibility More sort of teamwork and thirty to work on projects together rather than just you know stuffing facts into children the be you've spent on education because through these waves and it feels like a ten years ago michael go you know more and more knowledge and You learn vote in children to memorize all this stuff. Their exams and that sort of spills like going fashion again. Yes i'm i'm loving the education commission. I hope it's going to have some really good arguments. Rachel's is going to stirrup some people in extreme on the other. It's to argue with itself. I mean i. i'm fascinated by so many interesting things. Business of longer days or not is interesting. And so is the whole business of called parity of esteem for technical education. And i'd like to think of technical education always running alongside a much wider. Relax cultural offer so that you may be training to be an absolutely top nuclear scientists to war that was a plumber or a or a riveter or engineer. And at the same time it would be kind of assumed that there would be without exams. They would be music. There will be some poetry. There will be some drama. They would be. They would be a wider cultural offer alongside some countries do this In the sense that people are rounded creatures. You know that you can't say okay. We're turnouts very good technicians. Okay we're turning out so good. Physicists you know you you want to say where we're turning out some people who are able to think sideways and and appreciate things more widely. I love the fact that the guy who did my too i operations years ago was a very accomplished cellist. In yes that's handle. Is i think that this is all part of education. What rachel fields. I'd like to ask them. I agree yeah and we are speaking to andreas schleicher. Who's the sort of a big international guru on what works the world and he said it's in other countries they don't have this sense of extracurricular activities. You know music drama. Art are part of the curriculum. And the sense. That isn't the best education systems. See the child is a whole child and they're trying to develop all their talents not just for exams but for the for the sake affair sort of identity and that creativity hope people a whole people people who people mean they used to be. You know the the work is education association. You know they used to be minors. Philosophical societies in the northern pitt. Tom in o- people need both sides. And i think we get to split. Now you know you're an intellectual you talk intellectually things. You know your a practical we need. We need to spreads. Spread this out that allow people to be whole people or you're assigned to cioran artist your humanities you'll your english your mass It shouldn't be a choice. I agree libby. Purvis and waitresses west to that of course can be both in the times every week. Just get yourself a tom. Cisco's good at the tom dot com slash times up next. What's select committee look. Staying healthy isn't easy watching your diet hitting the gym avoiding stress. Put a good night's rest helps boost your overall health and wellness and couldn't be easier. The new sleep number three sixty four is the only man that effortlessly adjusts response to both the result. You wake up ready for anything. Proven quality sleep is life changing sleep during memorial day sale. Save a thousand dollars on a new sleep number three sixty special editions mark queen now seventeen thousand nine only for a limited time to learn more go to sleepnumber dot com at adp. We understand the importance of building the right team and offer the data insights to help just as importantly our ai technology. The team's accurately grow stronger with adp hr talent time and payroll ulysses. Box has now. It's time for this from the ball. Select committee the committee. Dominic cummings as a dc until about coming up in front of this joint committee. The science and technology and health committees and climbing into the government's handling of the corona virus outbreak last year. He's giving evidence on wednesday morning. I mean he's been tweeting a lot about. We already know a lot of what he's going to say but sometimes unconscious we talk a lot about select that necessarily knowing exactly what they're all about. What's the point. What can they actually achieve. So that's what we thought we'd try and explain this morning. We'll find out exactly. What is that committee is how they have the power to call up with his former prime ministers former officials often a few celebrities to and so what we're gonna do is sort of pick our way through joined this by scott. Calvin a political adviser to businesses and the author of how to survivor or select committee wanted scott. Thanks so much for joining us. Sort of the the one that primes the witnesses. four select committee. We've also got cheval. Mcdonagh the labor and pay for mitch morton who sits on the treasury. Select committee morning attack. Dog alvis inequity was all dogs. List may remember a tight king. Lex green sorta task early this month. Spring show are you a fraudster. Going around an absolute belts set. You also put david covered news place. I'm scared because you'll sitting in the chair on zoom. You've given all these people to i feel like i'm in the firing line at a secretary also joined by patrick. The times editor the times darby. Who spent many years sketching some of the best and worst select committees wanting. Patrick not talking about this. So i'll tell you what scott as shouldn't shiver civil first of all what is a select committee. How do you get a one. You'll want to select committee who's on it. Who's in charge. How are they supposed to work. What about scrutinising government over major. Uh areas As she said on the treasury select committee so we look at work treasury. How finance works. And how the regulates who's wet. They're all majority places. Go to the governing backbenches of the governing party but other the opposition is represented. In our case. We also have an snp and hey On a In propulsion numbers in the house of commons and. I never thought that being on the treasury select masih was going to be Quite so exciting because because obviously the every so often the blockbuster hearings others who lex green salad data cabinet ultimate comes but quite often you pick a sort of government policy or a particular issue maybe a year one from policy to solve basically take evidence of lots of people affected by then producer report that policies work till maybe suggest some new ideas and absolutely we're looking at the moment chat and the economy of corona virus and the grounds that will reward you business. Generally we outlook for the economy is so most of the time. It's very interesting but fairly try. Stop the people would actually wanna watch okay. So that's the that's the perspective from chevron is a member of a select committee sculpt. You've you've written a book on this but you spent a long time preparing people to go in front of people like cheval. How'd you go about doing that. What sort of people if you if you set to appear in front of a select committee will they're they're one of the most terrifying experience if you're in the private sector genuinely if you call the chief executive pretty experienced hannah's down. Agm's today programme range of moments. They always tell me that christie's my terrifying of all because you have no idea what type of questions you're going to get with david cameron. He paid the treasury committee. They're literally just a thousand different questions because all so trying to prep. Prepare for everyone. Drowsy is the bid that makes it really stressful when high pressure. And so how'd you do that. So because i suppose what you can't do a crapping someone to pave on the radio for instance and maybe a five minute interview a bit of waffle a bit of evasion. You can probably get through that but you could be in front of a secretary for an hour two hours sometimes. So what did you. How'd you pass someone because some basic some at some point. They're going to face questions that while answer. Well i mean in the case of green with scandal. He was before the committee. Six hours without a break On on his own as well. So i call you know. I'm gonna great sympathy for but but in terms of an experienced like it's on president six hours or facing relentless questioning what we tends do is is i always for example. Always get a witness in the mindset of the of the relevance to the committee. The committee is representative of the people. Either it's a of democratically elected. Mp's who get to all these questions in his absolutely rightly gets all these questions. I ve always have respect for the committee in his right to losses questions those they be prepared for every eventuality. You've got to be willing to answer questions on on everything from how much you'll pay. The performance of your company will if you're a minister decisions that made civil servants can be really difficult but for me. The success of the select committee parents is that people don't remember that you have about before becomes a patrick kid. Let's pick through some some highlights of select committees scott. You just mentioned there. Philip green six hours. He was up before the committee for He got really enjoy the whole until this moment. Where a totally mp richard fuller Was apparently looking at him too much. He really did like it. Let's take did you look at me like that all the time. It's pretty disturbing. Until i was quite daring but i'd always speak uncomfortable. I wish to make this. Is somebody else just comfortable. That was philip green. He was giving evidence about the collapse of hfs. Back in june twenty sixteen didn't like the mp's even looking at him. David davis when he was bred successfully. Been a lot of time in front of select committees including Moment having claimed for ages that were impact assessments and so on into every possible sector of the the impact of brexit. He later admitted to. The government made no assessment of the impact of brexit or the uk me in december twenty seventeen. That's taken us should. There isn't one for jumping on the sectors. Only ultimately is they went on aerospace went on financial service while we also going to be noteworthy. No to all right now. doesn't it strike you. Sixty is rather strange given experience around the committee in which you have. The government undertakes impact assessments on all sorts of things all the time that on the most fundamental change that we are facing as a country. You've just told us that. The government has undertaken any impact assessments at that was caught by one. David davis his impact. Assessments they screw detail but also did not exist Jomie cobaine paid of the home affairs select committee. He was told off because his supporters sitting behind and kept passing him notes. This july. Twenty six hundred homes of the question and be say which is which is racist and anti semitic it and look these coming from behind. You can ask the question. Mr roller administer about did it's really in order to keep passing notes to the witness constantly. Have to be briefed as to whether it's whispering. You may not mr allen if you don't become to suit with the same tacitus. The canada's jimmy. Colby facing questions on july twenty six eight one more from him and he goes back to scotland saying about basically the aim of a business leaders is to avoid saying anything. This is what happened. When britain in february two thousand sixteen. He's the he was. The boss of google is a straightforward question at make hillary on the public accounts committee of how much she got paid and he really didn't want to tell if that's relevant don't have to disclose that to the committee. What i understand is asking what you get paid oppy disclosed. If that's relevant matters committee asking could you tell me what you get paid. I don't figure. But i will happily provide what you get paid me mean. Perhaps you could give us a full. You get paid to get the sheriff options your basic. It's it's the salary i figure it out. Provide the private committee to. Yeah he never. He never came matzec. Patrick kids foam sketch. Right at the top divy high patching so some of those highlights and lowlights. What makes a good Select committee payments to sketch. Show comments can save Much longer than the debate Sometimes you'll noting of in the corner and then suddenly someone's committed news and deleo antenna has to senior members is the inquisitors. Sit there in a whole A normal eleven of them is eleven. Don't look this. This is the ideal size for committee. Should be eleven because it works for cricket and you'll never quit shaw. Who's going to be seen you in the subject So you flip. Green is in the ring for that one. I'm probably six hours. He was immensely jumpy. Wasn't just play the clip of emp looking at him. I'm gonna be upset because attorney quin fiddled with his glasses. Up some rich and graham. You're asking difficult questions. That's another number one point. Suddenly the bell went and it was the south suppress in the commons chamber. Agreed to go if you like school boy. Who's that was break time still. No that's that's for us you sit you just sit there and you wait and sometimes it can be really dry dose of then. Suddenly someone will Look i in the foreign affairs. Select committee sports trump's some trouble ebenezer in iraq. We take a listen to that one. Because i was gonna say that sometimes is that some actual news the devices than sort of powerful people being put in the stocks. This is when boys johnson really did commit us when you look at. What nazanin barry ratcliffe. Who was doing it just she. She was simply teaching people. A journalism is on the limit. She was I'm very. I hope that a way forward can be found. I i find it deeply depressing. I think it's a totally contrary to the interests of the iranian people for this to continue and of course famously. That was very much not the case. the the government line on nothing. She was not working Training journalists at all those comments were seized on by the evading inviting to threaten with more years in imprison. Sometimes news news does averge from patrick. Should go through the trouble. His next appearance before the committee The prime minister theresa may's into long her. Pbs strategy states. The back pointed out always wasn't aware of this tournament said You with putting your foot. These nodes when deployment is pbs. Ringcentral boys turned around sima off an opposite debate when he he didn't like him. Hit over clayton another when news come out of a senate committee was when of course was up in front of the home affairs. Select committee a denying that there were talks for removing people in the uk. This is back in april twenty eighteen. Remember after this exchange. She ended up having to resign secular. We don't have targets for the move but you did. I don't wash you just heard from the previous evidence that the home office and individual there are regional targets for net removals. I didn't hear the testimony. I'm not sure what shape that might be in your ass meal. The numbers of people we expect to be removed. That's not how we operate. And of course. I turned on the case as soon cheval mcdonagh as as an mp on a committee. Is that the sort of the sort of absolute Gold sounded you'll aiming folded the idea of a of an exchange select committee which leads to someone's resignation. That's the jackpot. No you trying to innocent information. I mean i take a moment when house commons isn't really acting at holding government to account in a way should because the so few people out in the chamber and you have to get a position to a list speak thank probably select mris the only opportunity to really question administer or business per a business man or woman or in our case a former prime minister david cameron who did try the tracker talking slowly and completely waffling and not telling us how much yazd degrees. So what can you do in terms of the powers that set committee has can you subpoenaed and things give famous famously dominate. Cummings refuse to give evidence to parliamentary committee in the past. what what. How does the commission have to full. Speeds are coming and then to offer up things like how much money david cameron might be making from greenhill. You know how much the pulse of google. What power does the committee actually. Have i think that eventually you can't subpoena people long. But people will generally come to trinity. They know they're all because they don't want to be dragged kicking and screaming because that's gonna make it so much worse. By the time they get in front of us. We went successful in finding out how much come and go from greece sales. So i don't know how much if somebody really isn't prepared to tell you. The i suppose the fact tasted you. Everybody knows the case. And that's an embarrassing place debated getting information need but then there's a bit of public damaging embarrassment that goes goes along with it and people pay go up net. I want to ask about particularly celebrities appearing at select committees. and what. We'll do that next. radio times. Radian with match only taking a look at select committees how they work. What is the point of them. Let's some attention now too often. That committee is not a chance to meet. Some famous people calling the celtics or select committee. First of all this was russell brand on drugs Discussing them specifically the home affairs committee back in two twenty twelve. We're running out of time. I have a final question about infinite this the next theresa. May she might not show checks is. I'm a fun question to you. That was vessel brand undermining the entire constructive. A senate committee that With keith vaz. That was back in two thousand twelve movies in fact Job oliver has been up in front of secretary civiles. This is jamie oliver and hugh the health committee in may two thousand eighteen discussing sugar in milk shakes. This is a bottle of jewelry. Yes this is. A mars mill trait and we've got thirty three grams of sugar and buddies this against legislation. that's got nine teaspoons in tokyo with sugars. so what's the value of coating in celebrity apart from just getting meeting. You're meeting your heroes all getting a bit of attention for your committed. Yeah i think both of those but also highlights shoe and so the issue of healthy it can be quite dull. And i imagine if you've got a few celebrity chefs that gonna. You're gonna get much more attention for the arguments that you'll happening. I have to say it's not a big car overnight with most of ease. Qui- is quite dull so you can guess celebrity and popzette surveyed more exciting. I remember remembrance. When rupert murdoch had the pie in his face. I think it was. Maybe it was me business. Select committee was bucket back in the days of the phone hacking. Hearing it doesn't get all spectacular custody. Paulie being thrown around. But i suppose it's more difficult to do that with zoom. These days is difficult to virtual custody. Part the boss. Scott what do you do about advising people. It'd be a little bit there. A vassal brand sort of undermining the whole basis of it. An obvious also remembering well. She's nine our banks. I'm banks was up in front of a of a select committee and then suddenly decided. This is back in june two thousand eighteen. I'm just just decided that enough. It got up in a list of that. First of all sorts told us because launching joint. You can listen. You can join us if you want the same thing. Excuse five seventy nine twenty minutes from wave. I don't feel went to lunch. Scott is that something you would advise someone to do if they've had enough of a senate committee just announced after lunch. This quick asylum. The celebrity that damian collinses coach media's full cherry secluded gary neville just because he's a massive lives hang out with a foot just from banks and interested in is a very small touch of people. Because actually the committees. Don't have the power to force you to appear online can say from where you can get finance seventy thousand pound fine if you refused to appear Most of the reason that you you end up preparing because of the reputational damage you dying but is a very small category of people. Dominic cummings used to be in that category. Stephanie is in that category with andy wake mole. He reappeared with on that day. Which is sort of position yourself. A bad boy of politics or business than you can treat. The committee with complete disregard is yet really care about the impacts. It has in your business yet about how people write about in the media as a result and that was a classic one space excused the chair of including the russians and taking backhanders and being drunk in bosnia. Sosa crazy stuff so you know that is a very small proportion of the witnesses that can literally two things up committee. Just what a. I just want to ask a question of my understanding. Is that training. People who are witnesses at select committees got going because of margaret hodge when she was Public accounts committee and indeed people were more frightened of being in front of her. The not sitting the anybody else about margaret hodge was out of the terrifying. I mean the big the big change as she came in twenty hadn't changed the rules about these seconds. Hsieh's used to be selected by party whips. So you gave it. To loyal people maybe. In the bakeries in twenty ted became an election the whole house so you you have to pay as labor chair you had to be elected also by conservative in pays so it led to the rise of these independent face. People like margaret hodge p. Vase dating cullens. Andrew i margaret hodge. Absolutely was without question. The most terrifying. It's probably history. So let's look ahead to don't cummings on wednesday first of all if you've advising cummings what would be your advice to him today. Ahead of wednesday. How would you prepare a week ago. Said post fifty one tweets. As frankly i mean i'm interested in this whole bows pool to tears by tweet fifty one. I'm i think he's built it up too much. You know unless he's got so many staggering new piece of information. He's going to reveal on the day all some recording. I just think he's both everyone's his the for him. I was when everybody was that committee. You just want to three or five maximum messages. That you're gonna to try and get across coals of the session. But he's already given us fifty one flavor. Okay so if you own. The committee on wednesday. What would you like to ask. Cummings ooh what. A great question What does he say. Forest johnson is prime minister is he ought to the job. I think got a slight flavor of what the that might be a very good question. And is a classic. It's a classic question for that sector. He's he's got nothing to do with the inquiry but it's a good news story and patrick moving the gallery virtual of otherwise watching the select committee on wednesday. What would you would make it. Ideal for for scotus women. Hopefully some some props. I remember dream both box. Full of drinks out triples. If they mean if they've come came into that she played put a jukebox down on the desk and signed up. The other thing is he said he will take questions for as long as they want which is fascinating to help them to that but he spent time in. These fifty bump tweets saint having competent. Everyone wanted like one question to be. Cummings why do you think things are something much better since you left downing street. He does his position to see to be everything with absolute. Your if there was somebody who given we were led to believe that he was basically running the show. There is something interested. I just wanted to with what my favorite is are very recently this one of sometimes. It's the the witness which go slightly off peace but when the committee themselves start squabbling amongst themselves. This was douglas voss toyin pay on the scottish affairs committee taking aim at his chairman. Pete wishart discussion. I committee earlier this month. Let's say how disappointed people must have been to watch the quite frankly innate cheating committee so far by mr wishart and i think people will understand by members of his own arctic. Douglas douglas ross. Excuse your ross. There's no need a toll to make attacks cheered of this committee. I've been elected by the house committee. Could you please get on with addressing of questions online. Any sort Taxling that please go and get questions when you're at your job. I will pair slanak you you have to this is this is just an absolutely pathetic you please just give questions with beacon any sort of a ruinous attacks at all. Chevanton tend to attack. You'll chairman the same way. No i think you have to try and charm. You'll check to make sure you got the questions that you want. So we've got time for on this episode of bedbugs podcast. Oh forget you can lose to me. Live monday friday ten til one on times. Radio brings the best bits here on the poco particular. Not white and with us wherever you get your podcast form.

bbc tim davie libby dominic comings Tom foam michael grade martin machine martyn basha mark steel cation commission Ucse Dominic cummings lucie calloway diana puke Select committee scott patrick martin bashir rachel fields rachel
186 Countering 5G Conspiracy Theories

Recorded Future - Inside Threat Intelligence for Cyber Security

24:52 min | 8 months ago

186 Countering 5G Conspiracy Theories

"This is recorded future inside security intelligence. Hello everyone and welcome to episode one hundred. Eighty six of the recorded future podcast. I'm dave bittner. From the cyber wire. The global transition to five g mobile technology is well underway with ongoing network build out an increased availability of five g enabled devices able to take advantage of the increased speed and capacity of this next generation network. The transition has attracted an odd type of controversy primarily from conspiracy theorists who claim that five g is responsible for everything from brain cancer to covid nineteen or that. It's some sort of high tech mind. Control system could in place by some secret global governing body most find these ideas farfetched and absurd but there are enough people out there who follow this line of thinking that it presents real security issues for the companies who are responsible for installing and maintaining these networks joining us this week. Is dave brown cyber intelligence professional at telecommunications giant bt one of his primary responsibilities is protecting the people and infrastructure responsible for making five g. A reality shares his insights on the tools tactics and procedures. He uses the counter the flood of misinformation and to ensure the physical protection and availability of five g for consumers businesses and the public sector alike. Stay with us. I did not read to join it as an professional as i of a fethullah fell into it accidentally. If he likes it started off in the army many many years ago. in the east Where i was employed A combat medic on a disposal of chemical weapons Operations call up. Amanda and operation apple which was taking open dispersed at disposing of most of gus from world war. One that had been buried after the forgotten So a kind of got into become a little bit of a little bit of an expert on cbs. then it'd be normal careers deployed nam. The gulf war. That kind of thing. Big change came actually was Ninety ninety five when the tokyo attack on on the alma sharing sharing on the tokyo underground The british army decided it needed a response team to sabourin terrorism. As just come off. Instructors course oxy tusk with Forming a medical team training equipping And big part of that was the intelligence background so then decided to educate yourself Through the army and there was a lot of 'em short university courses which i attended Oprah spent quite a few years of Attended these things with which eventually led us to give us a tip and terrorism studies. And then a progress on me. Post grunge on me. Masters german careers while i was. Also when we deploy deliberations the middle east the balkans yugoslavia former yugoslavia. I saw brief guys on so the the the warring factions intelligence background. So it was it was it was something just sort of emerged naturally just as a as job role being a actually employed as an intelligence Both obviously had an interest in a little bit of a talent for it so well so left the army employed by bt on vacancy camel for the intelligence dishonest who apply to call the job under on hero. I'm a leader So amongst conspiracy theories so it's It's been an interesting journey if nothing else like say quite accidental paul from the actual university causes. If none of it was really planned is just a homo. Almost grew into it naturally Yeah was was always an area of interest in of So it's it. It's something i enjoy is is well as you do for a living which which is a big help and so what is your day to day like these days at bt. What sort of things take up your time. Well i bought it a fall and emerging threats to the business basically. It's it's not no not as sam at the moment i'm actually yeah specifically employed Checking for the five g threats as a result of the stuff up detected earlier on the air with with couva to an to develop an operation. Unware we solve folks may may may. Mayor response was focused on that. Normally however so manly with direct action threats. Any protest demonstrations any kind of extremism. Not could be the potential impact on the business directly or through hundred through through targeted threat or indirectly. I e the big protest insys near one of our facilities than that can be a problem. So that's one of the things the other one is an it's linked to a is is the hacktivists threat. Things million massmart. Where you've got you've got so anonymous on the streets and you've also got the sabbath of the associated cyber threats from from the activist group on the back of as well again. This is kind of related to direct action is the advent contract as i influence operations. How of the russia. China etc militia state actors will so views them use twitter and social media to to generally stereo The the direct action campaigns itself We we saw them quite look. You're in two thousand sixteen years election monitor that An out there was some activity. One incident was pro and anti trump meetings were being organized spread about by russian actors to so fat coz to conflict between the two opposing factions is the doctrine if event an busy savannah nation stint at pilot means. So it's it's it's very Of a very proud broad area of responsibility when you look at it from that perspective so but over but the bomb line is anything that happens. Globally the common practice locally is probably the simplest way to do well. We're going to spend some time today. Digging into some of these five g conspiracy theories that have been linked to covid nineteen and and And where those have taken i mean. Can you give us a little back story in history. I mean my recollection is that Well gosh i suppose as long as we've had cellular networks there have been conspiracy theories about them. Yeah that's right if i mean The the five g Image from four jay which and ten minutes from three g. I'm sure from the is of alexander. Graham bell was probably seventy. Cnn is going to give bring something now. Yeah but yeah. It's been a long term thing and it's something that we've a key. What i said was what kept him whether i on it An exemplar was twenty nine injured in glastonbury festival. Where a who's one of our one of our partner companies. We have not really and was was setting up five g at the festival for for communications under von five direct action activity. There wasn't so much of a physical threat was leaflet in more peaceful. Say but what it did it. It put them on other than the head been. There's always been threats and vandalism came to thank for a long time but we know what's become a bit more organized. A bit more grow grew growing a growing in intensity So it was again. It wasn't one of our high priority is it was. It was just a a priority amongst many of this But we we. We did keep an eye on them. set up a. Let's kind of thing When couvert happened the narrative very much changed the language changed. the became a bit more virulent. Bit more fearful Bit more angry Ananta was decided. Then that we probably need to up the ante ourselves unt to monitor the these. These people was back in march when when identified that Guy called mark steel. Who is head of the sierras. Now movement An and he's been a major driver. Paint some conspiracy theories a was encouraging others To to commit awesome basically such aware that It was just about staying within the law but resulted result of that we saw an explosion of hashtags. Not not just down to this. One individual was was across. The board kind of snowballed and then them the direct link of covid to To five technology Did seemed initiate as a spate of awesome talks on on april. Twenty twenty we had a real problem we will. We will see them in several attacks every week. each each attack was approximately three hundred thousand pounds sterling which was untenable carry-on not intervening sui m. We decided to dan. Intelligence driven response we we reached out partners and stakeholders and annette More or less a single coordinate point In the night included inviting a commercial rivals who was suffering from his. We were so it. It made sense to unites against the common enemy f. One of about for his. Yeah and then from that. It's just been a case of learning the techniques An ideology and methodology of of the activists concerned an adopting response To to meet their change in tactics And we're we still suffer attacks but there there is a low temp or But still still a genuine threat. Each attack is is very expensive. So it's something it's thought we focus on i am. I'm dedicated to focus on it. At the moment i it. Can you give us some insight. Some would that must have been like. Because i as you and i said you know. There's there's always been conspiracy theories about cellular technology Does it cause brain cancer and so on and so forth and it seems like you know covid. Nineteen was a catalyst for folks that take that to the next level. But i can't recall. And perhaps i just simply am not aware i can't recall A coordinated campaign to destroy the technology in the way that these folks were coming at this now the thought that ties in pretty much. What we say was was individual attacks an previously Telecoms communication technology. We've had attacks back in two thousand twelve on on on telecoms infrastructure barely from anarchists specifically the brisk larrea linked to the inform lanka's federation Who who will still active on remand a group of consent to us The the things like sip november the fifth for instance million mass march put. That's also so bonfire in the uk fireworks nights. Well we Celebrate the the fairly of gunpowder plot And one of our partners at an ambient l. who solve coordinaton deal with the security sponsor intelligence Th they attended a with a few phase round our team whether it was ideologically driven or not is not certain really. Because you've got people with fire wishing people with fast then The temptation is let something fascinates. It's not necessarily ideologically driven What we know is in twenty twenty was the ideological drivers seemed to gain more traction among among amongst the audience i believe personally i believe one of the reasons for was was locked down. It was a combination of fear of the the novel. Various and that the situation was creating which was combined by the by the agitators. Let's you say of dangers of five g technology. I five was causing. The couvert was one of the One of the theories on a pen put simply Fear with boredom locked down and more people online Getting these forums covert and and maybe across vijay that led to two pitiful snowball effect on people who would normally not be involved in conspiracy theories and things that got involved regarding being coordinated we we we sat and he thought it was coordinated and the early days For the again ma. Ma ma view here is was more or less inspired. The actual demand actors people like mark. Steel were radicalizing people online On this was being spread at another event that was happening which which which solve aggravated the situation was the the roll out at five. G coincidentally was we must being built during lockdown. Another part of the theory was Lockdown was created so that the five g Must in the technology could be allowed without any opposition would which again rea- suspicion and the main of the activists so it was pretty much Pretty much of a perfect storm One one of the good news. I suppose was the linking of the covert two five t. I. couva causes five. G was obviously pretty outlandish Doubt that was debunked under a lot of people online. What was over market. But this this seems to be in a Almost an evolution of the conspiracy theories over over the preceding preceding months on the the the ideology and the rhetoric seems to adapt to meet whatever geopolitical situations developing at the time. So it's moved away from the couvert. Five g link and what has become now as a covert is a pretext for the imposition of of the new world order. absorbed gender. Twenty thirty jenner. Twenty room and five g is actually the backbone of an alien surveillance state Which which is far more difficult to counter when you've got people who are solve being arrested for protesting and feel the human rights so be limited That than this this new theory surveillance great resonates with far more people the thumb the initial which was a bit of info foreign of a barracks. So what was so what. We've seen his on lockdown and the covid vaccinations The room covert vaccination contents none none none and none of particles for twitch twitch facilitates if i've detract technology on on everything's become intermingled We've almost got A perfect storm of conspiracy theories and five cheese so the backbone of this it's It's extremely difficult to count. Yeah can you give us some insight so when you say that you've taken an intelligence driven response can you give us some Some information like what what goes on behind the scenes there. What what sort of. What sort of intelligence gathering. How do you go about doing that. And and how is that led to success here because you have seen a decline in the attacks. Yeah well th. The band thing was liaison and cooperation between them between partners So we we were in contact with with other Chaz stakeholders who share information and intelligence A tends to come to me. And i of collegiate. Kliot any intelligence across the ferret Chat reports for from my own perspective. I so multiple sources are used mint recorded future i other platforms. I also have sold for a really great partnership of one of our data assigned. Is dr jonathan roscoe who has done some fantastic work An analyzing dead up hashtags Using patterns of attack the came to sing which gives us an easy visualization of hot spots. Where where hotspots activism of hot spots of five g attacks on developing This information that khalid on lies we pass it on to ambien Rep john who solve sends it out days guys and they make that security decisions he he. He has his contacts with the actual security teams. So if we identify Area of pisses specific concern is a streets or a town of specific content Based on intelligent mess message in Increase in and sent hashtags increase in san phraseology. We lend make the decision whether or not to increase the security threat there And things like deployments of cameras. Covert overt security teams And so on as is Is what is some of the mechanisms. Law used Obviously block so see everything. Yeah but but But book basic- basically. It's good partnership we also liaise with them law enforcement if if if he can across any actionable intelligence relented individuals soviet government agencies. Well so so. So for instance if you come across a webpage Which is spreading. Disinformation a threat. That then we can actually ask to have a particular say that particular page tig down. We're very very yelm. Mindful of of of of using not tool An intent request anything if if if it is a physical danja. Two individuals are infrastructure. Or if it's Actually unlawful behavior. In if it's disinformation that's likely to lead to a genuine threat We would not in the business of of of censorship across the board That would be counterproductive and would reinforce a narrative if somebody's just debating something Than if sometimes it's best to let debate continue if it's genuine concepts of otherwise When when when people are they're in a covert nineteen eighty-four cents a police state I it could be counterproductive to create a situation where you're reinforcing not narrative so it is a very very delicate balance and acton and we will be pass them fully aware of human rights in liberty and freedom and free speech sense. What are the take homes for you. What are the lessons that you've learned having been through this experience. You know things you can share with other folks around the world who may be faced with similar situations in their own world Any words of wisdom prob- probably something of a paraphrase from winston churchill which is basically a a ally can get around the world before the truth is even goes with trousers on hub. It's actually the the the speed of of of how disinformation Could come take hold an an get. Traction a ideologues And one of the things to probably take away is to understand the the mindset of would sail opponent put mindset of of the people who are you trying to counter because only by understanding why. They're acting in a way a gift inability to predict and preempt they're going to behave under circumstances so it's Yeah on understanding. Why the the doing something often gives. You didn't say an into the the how our potentially the web and the when using the kipling principles so understand understand who you dealing with this is the bottom line Under understand the theories without necessarily agreeing with them. The there's always a danger you solve get too down. The robert all This stuff yourself if you're if you're not careful so it's right. Point does happen. Believe me i'm. I'm i'm kind of ten and fox mulder at the moment. It's it's it's almost like being trapped in an episode of the x files times right. Yeah but i mean mama. Job actually my. My job is to get to the truth of the matter up to two from from from lies of new you will find the truth and the truth is whatever the veracity of of of the theories. What what have these people believe whether it's true false. Whatever the reality is it results in very real threats against our infrastructure and our people On my job is to protect saw. It really is a case of learning understanding In order to protect people property our thanks. Dave brown from bt for joining us. Don't forget to sign up for the record future. Cyber daily email where everyday you'll receive the top results for trending technical indicators. That are crossing the web cyber news targeted industries threat. Actors exploited vulnerabilities malware suspicious. Ip addresses and much more. You can find that at recorded future dot com slash intel. We hope you've enjoyed the show and that you'll subscribe and help spread the word. Among your colleagues and online the recorded future podcast. Production team includes coordinating producer. Caitlyn mattingly the show is produced by the cyber wire with executive editor. Peter kilby and. I'm dave bittner. Thanks for listening.

five g bt dave bittner sabourin army yugoslavia brain cancer couva massmart two thousand sixteen years tokyo three g Ananta mark steel dave brown three hundred thousand pounds sui m larrea british army Graham bell
Bugle 4133 - Brelectageddon

The Bugle

51:17 min | 1 year ago

Bugle 4133 - Brelectageddon

"Bugle audio newspaper for Visual World Hollow Buglers. Im Andy's oltman dishes issue. Four thousand one hundred thirty three of abuse is Friday the thirteenth of seminar here in London where the UK is a fly with excitement. Offer truly extraordinary general election result the PRO Brexit vote down to fourteen point. Eight million votes for remain and referendums supporting up to sixteen point. Six million the coal to end the uncertainties in spot devante wanted to show evoked a path to these continued membership of the European Union and now unarguable democratic statements. We have prime minister who recently unseated his predecessor because because she was so unelectable hopeless up against one of the least popular most media vilified opposition leaders in British history. Who could only splutter supports backup by hardly moon? Benny one percent sent pathetic. The Liberal Democrats added a spectacular sixty percents of the vote the Greens out by over sixty percents. Well as you come. Climate quake shook British politics six to its foundations. Now a must acknowledge the sixteen point six million people being in favor of something or not completely against some constitute an inaugural divisive whelming mandate when other people spoken etcetera etcetera expected to be a simple as just simply not getting brexit not dumb thought rolling cynically manipulated divisions in recent years. Surely this election represents a generational interracial shift towards a more forward-looking inclusive open-minded Britain. None of that happened apart from the facts about how people voted. But this is the vehicle. We're calling in Britain where there are electoral system is to be as polite as is appropriate unbelievably being shifted maths. So I'm andy or at least forty three percent of me and that's more than enough and joining me to provide some insights explanation already. Tests won't shoulders comfort and or joy at this pre Christmas time probably more of the former latter firstly. Well let's begin with a man who judging from what he said on his previous appearances on the show is not a huge fan of are now fully entrenched full blown prime minister verse Thurston. Correct me if I'm wrong but it's still F- F- if a man like Boris. Johnson stood to be leader leader of the country and across the country. He got thirty four votes. You'd go out can depress this deeming loitering competent pawn of folks. Shit somehow somehow even get the politics the gate the rices of any of that just on grounds of share Oughta sociopathic useless destructive incompetent. The man can even turn up to one of these gaining his own relation can buy without hiding in a phrase right. You called having to be promised bikes no more saints than going up to the bloke who stands out so towns. Land don't seem to circle in his pink fluorescent swimming trunks swinging bag full of fish and a skull Jake and Mike You WanNa reward me. Electric's h King Mad and it's clear the strawberry people bricks done a a get breaks clearly religion. There is no otter there is absolutely no any rational thought you could. He's is not going to get breakdowns and they're gonNa get it started. I'm doesn't marriage anyway because you'll probably going to die from food and everything these just just holidays to celebrate into trumpy. Cleary is the most opponent you'll be the one hundred fifty kids knows always of them and yet and yet your brexit and that's just it's clearly a religion it doesn't it doesn't matter of all the rationality that doesn't Mike any sense and expect. There will be people now if you point this out. They'll go But brexit moves in mysterious and so now we go out with him. I mean Cleo. Don't get me wrong. Labor were useless to lose to that. I think ah a football team. There's a when you're a football match and your support in your team and a goal from the other side goes in and there's this eerie eerie silence. I then off about twenty secons. Everyone starts going goalkeeper. Shit we get rid of it. I don't think think it was that there was about an hour just people just staring wars things going cool shit. Well so Well I think firmly later political cards on the table now appoint this is a Tory party. A now that's true vol. So toy and it was one of factors mine ministers John Major Cave you you see. Kenneth Clarke hobbled now anything. Oh it's lovely Kenneth Clarke. He's comes on well died. We'll tell them agree thatcher. Could you was quite enough to be really bar is just ridiculous. Really need to be that much of anything. Oh lovely Cain some jazz. The this is truly historic day for British comedy. Mark Steel essentially saying bring Back Thatcher thought never see also joining us to provide some perspective from around the world from two countries. That of course we don't dream of electing leaders with a bit of a Poncho for expedient social provocation India. Australia pollen. Alice Fraser. Hollow you just you flew in yesterday to see all this not specifically in order to see this is the endless then unfolded your to blame I am I am you. You know this had to be seen in person. I was quite taken by the phrase. Let's get brexit done. Because I didn't think think that that phrase made any sense but have a whole nation fall for it makes me think everything should be changed to. Let's get extent in fact. I was thinking king if this podcast. Instead of tagline being an order newspaper visual work was called. Let's get this podcast done. Do you think the number of listeners is your coop simple messaging isn't it. I've I've had enough of simplistic slogans and a lot to launch my own slogan which is end simplistic slogan chanting now on street corners. For the rest of my life. Then you can go in the question so I've audience whenever a someone says well I think that The economics of this just just listening slogans. Very happy to be here I- I fled my country. which is on fire are in Prime Minister in response to the fact that we are on fire has decided to push very hard for bill about religious just freedom presumably so we all know that we are allowed to pray to whatever God's we wanted their houses go up in flames and then come here and have such such certainty certainly from the people a landslide victory for the Tory so we can all like be really happy that we all we can all agree on these fundamental principles that wealth means health both might means right and brexit means brexit? This idea that we can get Briggs at Don I find reassuring because it gives me some sort of a fixed point in the upcoming until now very ephemeral ontological what brexit actually is other than Amorphous cloud of sort of vaguely associated ideals mainly to do with getting away away from the present and back into the PAS. I think I think Boris Johnson is the perfect person to get this done. He's the only one with practice from walking away from his responsibilities to a complex ecosystem right. He's abandoned so many children shouldn't how to walk an entire nation right away from its support next network and and I'm excited to see what Scotland does next wrote. That is a a an interesting an interesting angle Scotland's very anti so brexit isn't really Britain exits England exit so exit. Or maybe Wales as well so but but this is this is the thing with with brexit. Actually it has revealed certain things about the United Kingdom and a lot of people certainly England's didn't know which was for example that that it wasn't just England uh-huh I think people just assume that when empire ended all the base fed off not just the beach a long way away for just everything. So He's been I think much reactive Hadrian's wall studies they're going to they're going to ask fairly quickly for a referendum. Ramon leaving Boris. Johnson is adamant he's not going to give them one. Just wonder you can out with this. Is there any sort of examples in history of when a country wants to leave the country that it's Paul doesn't want and the the mother country says no we're not going to let you leasing just ever caused any problems from the last one fifty years. I can't think of an example. This may have happened between two countries. I want to be very cynical. Of course. America's whip. We're Britain one of the great nations or we learn from our mistakes. You know some point. We're going to get it right as two British men sitting in a room with two of the reminders of your colonial parts. I mean you don't too much. Learn from your mistakes as have them come back and hi. Jackie podcasts food. Come from a country where we've choking on the smoke of Aaron mistakes. I'm genuinely impressed. By a man who has the courage to appear as incompetent as he actually is due pleasing honesty and also Bach to answer. You know it's weird weird how history turns out because you know right now Mahatma. Gandhi is still probably somewhere in the British parliament demanding independent but last week Hindus for Boris Gross released video where they took a Hindu religious devotional song replaced. Lord Vishnu with Boris Boris Johnson and and superimposed images of just Mister Johnson. Just shaking hands with people in Turbans. Chris can we get a snippet visas Jonah Scorpion but I think I think the same people did one ZAC Goldsmith. A few years ago for London Maryland on on the Bugle I mean. What do Hindus think? Boris Johnson is a reincarnation. Well I have a couple of the answers. Couple of lines lyrics suggest that he is very close to God the other thing. It says he'll get everything done done. What they said about Jeremy Corbyn at some things? Don't translate directly is that he has a face on his face. FEACE wanted to say to face but the right phrases did not exist in the day for now Greece criminal. I know exactly what feels like. When you're jetlagged it feels like your face is sort of detached from your face and you're like is this a smile? I think that's a that's probably how Corbin feels at all times just constantly. Try to live up to his own expectations of does does this feel like a version of Modine. You know mode is I think a couple bliss steps ahead In that I think to build a to tell it like they just passed a bill in India that said that India would take in refugees as long as they were not Muslim refugees. So our country. That's supposed to be secular. The country's Gandhi for this possibility. Says you could come from anywhere. You could be Norwegian. You could be seek. If you are from Muslim country we can take and moody came out and said this has nothing to do with religion. We're just surrounded by bunch of strange countries. Why had someone just so that the law was the minorities can't be Refused and then there was using this to say well. They're coming from Muslim countries whether or not a minority current right. That's some kind of bullshit sophistry going on there now are they then appealing for huge amount What if you are a gay Muslim? Would you then be allowed in. No I I think I think. His point is that because Bangladesh and Pakistan for the refugees come from who probably fleeing you know certain human rights abuses are coming into India because they happen to be from Muslim countries. They can't they can't. It's a whole different matter that India's the second largest Muslim country in the world I kind of I love the delicacy of your phrasing certain human rights abuses makes it sound like a teapot Wrecking racism against Muslim Olympics trump. Bodine Johnson well brings into Amman side rather dramatic night And at the star of the BBC's coverage at ten o'clock they flashed up on the side of the BBC building a just a think above the statue made by the notorious Pitiful Eric Gill the BBC ABC's chosen not to remove despite the fact that it's a man holding a child from behind. It's a deeply creepy Charles. Well let's child. We don't know if the man's naked because he's holding the child's head in front of his penis area but anyway we should not go around them around to the front of the building huge great sign. I'm saying it con three six eight. which artist she was just a latest legal of the amount of lies told me in fact we projected number of seats that we're going to go to get its it whilst disastrous mark from Jeremy Corbyn point of view his cunning electoral plan line of not having any plan on the defining battleground of our times with a side order in failing as elementary grade? One Anti Anti Semitism practical coursework. They didn't go as well as it could have done well for about a year and a half yard because It's very important. Obviously with mine policy that it's simple and that's why we're in the Liberals Bruce had SCRAPBOOK bollocks breaks it and Boris Johnson. Nicole said get brexit done and cobain had we will support a second referendum on the establishment of an anti recommend customs union. As long as there is no customs union if the ball pitches outside playing a show. It's called see what was wrong with that and I think they. They seemed for about uh-huh year Labor seem to have the BREXIT policy team to call the two factions with regard the Brady policy in one of which was angry and the other wheel was bewildered about it. Every one of them but was your about or I feel I feel like the left has has a listened to learn from this. which is that people will prefer even a shitty strong statement as long as it strongly and affirmatively stated enough rather than an infinitely cursive series of footnotes and exceptions todd to vote for the camera circular bell pleads probably still got got through if he just was known for going on pig? uh-huh out do it again. But that's something to vote for you you support. That would make America great again. I I was doing a little bit of research on phrases used in election campaigns. and You bring the so-called pig that's a a definitive end election in the last May when mody one overwhelming majority one of the candidates in the state of Bihar running against a guy who was charged with murder and he he ran the middle of the campaign. The other guy campaigned on the catchphrase. I'm still you know what you're voting for the guys. The the guy ran away so he should've still stood his ground and his slogan should've been year. I'm a murderer. So what that's a good line voted for killed. Elderly can tough tough leader. Don't we don't one of these people who shies away from murder the The exit poll wasn't exactly right the conservatives ended up on three hundred sixty four seats free fifty because that's three hundred and sixty four is the highest score bonding employer in test cricket. Numbers to the thirty eight turn out was down a little to Sixty seven percent In the eight years between nineteen twenty and the end of the Millennium it never drop below seventy percent but the weather was a bit And that may have slightly suppressed Turn out so I hope people see the weather during the battle of Britain was quite sunny johnny so those pilots and really understand how difficult it is to get to a polling station in some drizzle so in perspective and it was it was clearly the Brexit was the defining. Whatever you bring meetings heroic break for Freedom Casting off the shackles reminiscent move? When my friend? Mike broke free from from the shackles of his own house. And so I went to the pub for a pint anything interesting. Truculent of Joan of ARC jumping into the far shouting. I love barbecues and my toes. Look o'clock sausages. Who Does the mathematics of Really Baffling that here. We are that if you add up the conservative vote and the Brexit party vote and the The DP vote in Northern Ireland. It comes to food food back. Fourteen point eight million acres that if you add up labor calling for a second referendum CL- splits within the Labour party within the Liberal Democrats the Greens and the other parties. He's calling for either brexit or a second referendum that is sixteen and a half million and yes effects of this is at overwhelming mandate for Brexit. Our electoral system is utterly insight. I don't understand the first pass the posting tool well as so I think said before. It's a very good system for deciding horse races. Less good yes yes. She wouldn't have proportional representation. Who took the guy nine? In Iran Iran one point seven furlongs as opposed to the to go in the site in time so he you should still get one twelfth of the price but essentially tactical voting. Isn't it that that once I did it solely. There were fewer options. But yeah the Party polling over ten percent At the end of this ALGA and they went down to under three percent election so the Brexit vote went to the Conservatives and the remained vote was diffused and you know a- Columnists Marina Hyde said about our about nine months bumps ago one of Collins. She said a thing. What would all end up saying football supporters when teams lost? And you go there so it wanted more than announced. That's happened Paul Mason. left-wing writer wrote in the aftermath of the election result. We're facing what Hannah Arendt called the temporary alliance of the elite and the mob. The only answer to it is an alliance of the left and center now. If only that need from the lines of Electon Center have been blindingly obvious mitigate so so you say that I had with a woman who was a green amy. A stood are think we took this eight and Stroud. I don't big inside of the Green party but this woman was standing in an area where the Labor Party one last time. Boy I think three hundred votes and she says she's the big high profile green person to stand in this area. Not Vote support you do. This is really close and labor all commit due to a second referendum. Yes but he doesn't support remained. Nobody's The chore he gets in there. Just GonNa get Brexit Doug although you have to look in the small print uh-huh of what they say at the bottom of pocketing. But she's me she's worked to me but labor can't win on their own here. UH The pressure they go ahead your votes and the Labor vote together. You came great ecological. I would like to contextualize this outburst. Mark Steel gone to these studios an hour early and had a nap. I feel like he was storing up all your energy not like that only and guess. What exactly Oh boy? and they can't swallow the Labor candidate loss by a thousand and and she got fifteen hundred dollars isn't as well as the Tory one. So again comes old phrase shutting the stable who are of shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted. No Point Lars Celeste. LS We're very kind of a every day. There's no time for Jacob riis impression. I guess the point is there's no point shutting the stable door. If you can't agree what type of lock to fit to it. You need to leave the door open. Brandish your lock towards the horse and site of the holes. Can you please stay on mocks point. You know these other times where corruption really helps It is a little lesson of a from defecting members of parliament in India. Like when you have a seat That you know is divisive. What one party does is? I tried to bribe the other person not to stand with stuff like a refrigerator car Sometimes when that doesn't work out. What for Boris Johnson? He loves a fridge. Even call if you could get range of options could be a voucher. Could be anything and when that doesn't work out sometimes what happens and again. This is why we are in advance democracy. Because we've talked through some of these things They actually sometimes lock members of Parliament Legislative Assembly people in a hotel and a five star hotel with food and drink drink till they change their opinion. This is something recently. In the Connecticut elections. There was a threat of one hundred fifty defecting members of Legislative Assembly. They were going to switch parties ethics or whatever other reason they look physically did not let them leave a five star hotel and they is basically bribed them till they remained with the party. There with I mean that's a great kind of bribe bribes slash threat Combo and free food and drink flowing. Can you know in this country. What they prefer to do is to their bribery and a sort of a roundabout roundabout way by buying boats on twitter? Just manipulate the streams of information to particular demographics until they fold your view of reality. So you don't have the police you got really need to with Electoral corruption in this country because the voting system pretty much does it one needs to suffer through a five star the hotel. Because you couldn't couldn't you just go I'm going to stand in this constituency and split the vote in the hope that then. Ah Numerous many many coping campaign. I think can be safely compared to Captain Scott Tony up in Antarctica with nothing but forty crates of beer some ping pong bats in Karaoke machine. It would probably have lost anyway but he definitely did not give himself the Best Jones. He soon two point six million votes compared with the election two years ago ended up with ten point three million dollars which is still more than Tony Blair got in his third successful election in some more curious. Mathematics Borscht Monday at the Conservatives up from Theresa May's disastrous Ostra showing up by as I said one percent God baffling that is genuinely. I still don't understand it. I need to buy a calculator okay. Later nation and pay more attention in math class mark Francois one of the great heroes via of British politics. He said A number of things on the BBC coverage we've got what we want we're leaving the e U Now remember folks. This was a general election. A general jet general general roll elect a general election nother a general election that affects everything not is not a referendum on whether his general election but he also said this as this was a possibly the highlight of all the coverage. He compared the fall of the Berlin Wall to the fall of what is described as Labour's red wool that string of seats six across the northern Midland's of England. So he was he was saying that was alongside the the fall of the Berlin Wall. A few key differences last Tories in the north can be reunited with the families. She lives war. There are key differences between the Berlin Wall. Labor's right wall trying to get across it labors. Read will you need to take the am six am one or does he try and the traffic can be really quite annoying. It sometimes with some roadblocks versus fully armed German soldiers shooting you to ribbons almost indistinguishable guess guests between those tools to oldish also also very importantly David Hasselhoff is much less interested in Berlin Wall built by powerful empire of murderers autocratic pseudo socialist despotism Labor's red wool voted in in elections. I over many years potato. Potato immense radioactive flesh-eating robot wolf with close coated in rabies potato the Berlin Wall. Paul says potato subsequently up to Christmas the results in the paper the Berlin walk became a universal symbol of hope for a better future free from oppression and also a major world tourist destination. The Labor red wool contains Darlington significant differences swing between the two Daniel Hannan and other the Art Appropriate Camp Tori. MVP says issued this his tweet off the result became clear to seriously remains. Did you think seventeen point. Four million of US didn't mean it that it was some sort of joke now that wishing to speak on behalf of all remains or indeed the no-shows and the old enough are not allowed an automobile. Also the answers that were no and obviously I thought that that that that Brexit vote didn't meet and I know Shit joke and that was not just a joke. That's my brexit better. Oh you made it three will do that. I think I'm relatively relatively moderate emotions by anyone who ever uses the word. Seventeen point four million again should be putting a rocket launcher and fired at malls parachute in an oxygen mask. I'm total animal. So what conclusions can we draw about about Britain off. I mean essentially the we love lies what we call happy to be like two and we will bind to those laws. We're a Christian. Yeah he's yeah okay but but he says what you mean so effectively. We says what he's pretending he means which is what is the same. Isn't it. Well I I've been following Boris Johnson for the last couple of months on instagram. Could and I've come. I've come to the conclusion that if you'll see doing things in modern politics physically doing things. So he was. He was picking a fishy picked up a pig. Once it increasingly driving traffic to Tony about eighty eight and onion denise eaton an onion twice a week to raw raw onions is on television. Yes it was just light. You can't compete with that. No one can compete with. I mean that is a man who will I mean that's proper Boeing. Yeah exactly you know just just putting things in your mouth. Looks like something than just seeing that you'll think about another referendum. You know promised to mood. Audie was on a was seemed with the cow was seen Ernest. Scooter was seen on an aircraft. He wasn't doing it he was just on these in doing things and I think that is far more important in a democracy now than policies instagram. Wa thank you become an influence Bob by being doing you know sitting on a couch visibly pretty much. did nothing massive trousers. I I like him. Pose for all those painting uh chicken hating award three summing peekskill kept the papers. Those people knew where they stood with quick question. Because I'm new to this country election coverage yesterday on the BBC and I know that the election coverage coverage changed a lot with technology so in Obama's election I remember the big CNN thing was being able to do touchscreen to go into a state and have it expand and yes and then you just had just election experts just playing with the state you know just throwing them going into each of area. Wouldn't I guess the go. Oh I go. Hey let's have a look at this. Little bit of Wisconsin. Here go like that and they go now. This is fourth avenue which tire and Miss Johnson answer their accent Wisconsin actually specifically. But that's right they would they would go whiskies going. I'm becky zoomed in on the house. I'm sorry I interrupted you your perfect accent. Oh I didn't mean to offend you. Glorious Laureus Talk But they could go down the list. There was the appearance again of doing things in there was just going to house. Yes today on the BBC outside your mean BBC studios they decided to go analog and you were talking about this. They didn't technology. They had a huge Kozel. Goff Great Jigsaw. Aw Yes they were. Moving hexagon pieces from red to blue. And you know I didn't know the red wolves but at the time it looked like a necklace breath and they kept moving it around physically which was a lot of work for the leading through the night here of risk ever in this. That's a good summary this election Actually see any of it because I was in a live. Ah Office so there was this soil. Since from one to three and then everyone went and sat sat on a chair once spoke was about one forty three like a pinto play on that during the campaign free try now To very negative on our side of the political apocalyptic suggestion about the impact of five of years of Johnson government reduce civil liberties attacks on democratic institutions Hostility towards shall we say the insufficiently British there will of course also be sue now now me of online bile and Newspaper Fury but let's clutches. Some very flimsy straws. Try To slip on the definitely on the turn an borderline cheesy milk of optimism. John Boris Johnson essentially doesn't give a shit about anything and is oh. He's nothing if not on principle chancer. Who will do anything to further as furthermore he's no longer because he's got decent majority no longer tied to the total raging raging hard stonking Brexit Bona lunatics within his party so given that you know he has essentially a moral vacuum style of politics based on? Ah Opportunism. Is it possible that this could be harnessed. His his his powerbases seats that were generally legs very kind of shallow shallow volatile support. I mean eight because they don't want this is definitely when the next section that kind of majority is not overturned and before. Do you have any shred about mark. Yes how do because the although I think in in the south in the south the results were amazing. Really if you if I had for light between Canterbury is extraordinary ordinary and that never not until the last time so this bits of the South winning Bassey bat a another go see but there's all sorts of they took party so this piece this this probably doesn't results if you just sold him and nothing else you'd think must have a majority it from that but it's just so I think we'll be we're becoming upside down way it's like the people in the north would go. Oh sure so you down south or your chores you don't know about also here and it's the opposite that now will have sort of all website design isn't coffeeshop people going. You go clue clue about us. You'll you chore. Easy Dudley Moore off doing a podcast. It's ah a different layer every cutler minute so the top of the frothy clue you've never been confronted with a deconstructed Lartigue tag on what Corbyn in the next couple of days. Well I mean you can assume so. But Ah that he he's going to Stick around for a period of reassessment. I think reflection reflection reflection. He say he didn't want to lead the next general election but that gives him what five years too often that you can. I feel a period of reflection isn't useful. If you have the face of Medusa yes yes but again. This comes back to the point. Probably this before in the bureau. Jeremy Corbyn was the wrong leader of the Labor Party. The leader of the Labor Party was the idea of Jeremy. Corbyn I think just the vague concept and the idea of Boris Johnson as their leader because there is essentially no real. Boris Johnson. Typing outmaneuvered the election story. Well Alice wish you'd said that off. And our AH yes now. It's me onto none election stories and don't forget to full of people for the next five years for world exclusive coverage on the Johnson right you all the bugles birdlife correspondent What have you go first? Yes Andy in a bird life news. Now there's there's been so many bad things that have been happening. I think it's very exciting in America. There's scandal coming up around a a new pigeon fashion statement. A charity has come. Ford is concerned after a series of pictures appeared on the Internet of pigeons wearing tiny cowboy. Hats in Las Vegas assuming that they had had a great win on the tables and we're showing off their newfound wealth by wearing these little hats people were taking pictures of the adorable birds and putting them online but this charity has come forward and said it's probably probably not good for pigeons to be wearing tiny tiny more. There's so many pigeons in Vegas assume it's just because I've heard it's very CD place Becker. I'm here all week next week. I'm at the Soho this search for Monday. Running to the eighth of January also in a rectification of historical wrongs Jimi Hendrix has been cleared the blame for the release of parakeets in the UK. There's an ongoing rumor that stop you that because there have been some combinations of words in recent weeks that we never thought we'd here including this week prime minister hygiene for Jimi Jimi Hendrix cleared of blame for release of parakeets so ideal surprise. You know this is London. Well there are a lot of parakeets but never thanks Eric Clapton. So so this is the thing hasn't been rumors swirling for years because Jimi Hendrix released some have a pair of parakeets in carnaby street in the sixties that he was the cause of parakeets in Britain minorities always blamed for large-scale problems. Elvis Bovis faking his own death. Jimi Hendrix. Rumors will probably Britain digitalise two parakeets parakeets. Were they were not exactly the Adam and eve of all parakeet presence in Britain Aris one other one other rumor as well Which I think is even more glorious? which is when the African Queen was being filmed at Shepperton studios? They used parakeets. Aren't some of them escaped because the jungle and some of the Muscovite for the studios and that's that was another another room. No no apparently there'd been parakeets in the UK since the eighteen sixties and there was large scale intentional releases in about the nineteen thirties and also in one thousand nine hundred eighty two two with this recurring during what's being called parrot fever where people were trying to seed parakeets across across the United Kingdom. Because I'm pleased that it's not Hendrix's folks folks love Love Jimi Hendrix but my appreciation of his music was significantly diminished by the sense eight introduced foreign jingle birds turn. He's Pigeons Green. I'm glad he's off the hook for that. The risks were there other accusations. Some people claim that they will the the economy street stories. Bullshit that actually just played guitar solo of such unfathomable genius the parrot spontaneously the Shakespeare is responsible for the budget when he made a dog. Kerak must be historically accurate. Don't believe everything David at says. I will continue to do so until he does. He will never die. David attenborough Wilson endangered species. It was good not all about Nazis of would be with an entirely within the character people Hendrix to release parakeets Gates Eric Clapton of course released a bucket of carpenter. The Mississippi on local relation of river ills Joe Sattori Triano was responsible for an infestation of combat in Tokyo released accidentally after spectacular. Show stopping finale. To is little known album track furry frank the combat combat when. He's not at his fellow man. Peter Frampton attempts to prove that worms were in fact baby. Snakes led to an expert to an extremely distressing snakes copay involving a pair Randy Abo- constrict is having a vigorous snake grumpy on the Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC interesting hendrix effects of course famous for various things purple haters something about red breed of Tony's puffing the Coffee Anthem Hijo and voodoo child which is often mispronounced pronounce. It Spelt C. H. Oily. And perhaps you pronounce chilly. He had a he had a magic global spill. A glass of water on Chilean it broke Thirtieth Drought Nafta come visit a felon moment. UNEXPECT- unacceptable level of bullshit. That is the gold standard to success in this country in Mexico has been turned on its head with protesters storming the Palace of fine arts in Mexico City on Tuesday Tuesday Because of painting of Emiliano Zapata on a horse with an erection the horse has direction. He's nude he's wearing high heels and a hat it and people have more enraged about this piece of The finite than I think anyone in the UK is advocate about tall They've been the painting to be burned. It shows the in these high heels pink hats naked on rows horse and his grandson is furious. He says for us as relatives. This denigrates the figure of how general depicting him as gay which I feel like is a stretch. Just because he's nude on and aroused horse. That doesn't say anything consensuality maybe about his sexual preferences or just the fact that you know he was an adaptable man. Clearly he found himself in a situation where he needed to escape from somewhere naked and was not hidebound social convention and escaped on aroused horse. Also you know no one's no one's objecting to the arouse horse I think they're just direct objecting to the EPA. The aroused hosts grandchildren of furious from the rats out. What horse wooden puffer Boehner? They've got a famous general on the back and also in the revolution. Rhetorical Ktar question was multiple choice. We also that the work of art was isn't as a partner in the England created. Graham Gooch who is nicknamed Zap in his early courageous has similarity SAPORTA. That is a genuine fact. You better go with me for telling lies price a bit of fact I will never never give you praise that Danny lived on you. I'm just surprised that it's seen as insulting because inner evolution in element of surprise is key. Yeah and what's more surprising than showing up to the main palace nude on an erect told us yes. I mean the very the paint that horses. I mean really really. Interestingly every appearance by Putin on a horse has been an attempt to recreate this photograph. But I don't recall Putin ever ever making a horse aroused which suggests that he's he's not as good as efficiently masculine. Yeah sure we'll take that. Vlad Bolo Bredow. Played Him in a film. Didn't he. Gooch it's very very relevant in this painting. If you're riding a horse while naked highlights disintegrating again. I AH entirely appropriate phrase for about a quick bit of other I universe news. Well I've got one that I think you know because we've talked about boss Johnson impersonating a prime minister and just nobody knows was who he is and Cetera playing various parts. An Indian man has been impersonating Lufthansa pilots for about sudden an Indian who is not a pilot has been going to airports dressed as a Lufthansa pilot for five and a half years and flying on different commercial commercial planes and always had is just a pilot outfit attack and finally looked at Sakata and said this is a fake badge. This it's just something from a fancy dress splits and he said yes but for five years this. This gentleman has traveled the world. It just dressed as a pilot so he gives me absolute hope that Boris Johnson will successfully be able to leave. The you just have to dress is the part and do things to get for the security of that so he had you know when you look like a pilot apparently Indianapolis just let you pass. And and he had the hat and he had the thing and he had faked batch meat and the badge was really fake because it just said pilot on the details it took Lufthansa everybody. That's about five to Canada. But he'd seen the whole world in that time become quite good pilots. Just kill overflight. Yeah Yeah yeah he just he just dressed to the pilot and I think it's a dice. WanNa go to the coke. Sometimes I think they they let him this. You know but but most of the time. He traveled first class and There was always an empty seat in he was just because he looked the part which I think is quite relevant and in the modern world. A one man metaphor for twenty percents politics mark earlier. You brought up how the world was in the future to be Divided into sort of conservative shipbuilders. And and you know liberal mean makers but you have to address the pot you know in my head should build has to look like a shipbuilder and the me maker has to have a coffee in his hand and tight pants and a long beard. That's carefully groom. So this guy. He's way ahead of time. He good himself a pilot outreach and the thing and confidence he said how did this how did cheat so much people is the main thing is you have to walk in and look the person listen in the idea about. NC pilot well. There's a message from this week. Show it is lying works and for like practicing. That said there will be no lies about voluntary subscribers at the end of this week. Show this is in of all the lies that are being told during the election campaign. I'm fine That brings us to the end of this week's bugle. Thanks so much for coming in on what a difficult day for you in particular mouth L. and indeed general just means the whole of failure with with that most people's lives have been a failure. At least you've got a reason to point to positive note to end Alice. Thanks very much. What's you can see Alice alongside me in the verbal history at Soho theatre auto doing a show savage no seconds of the fourth in the as in you can double up? In fact you can go to uh Martial at seven thirty spot dinner and then allergies at ten fifteen It's the second of January Renowned for being the time of year in which people least. I want to see comedies to to comedy shows naming mock tortoise. Your I think starting February what is just wonder about your doc metlife and I'm back in April. Some starting a small run of the number show democracy in disco dancing twenty-seventh April which unfortunately happens to be my birthday. But it's a good way to spend it January. Romany just dropped that in a few weeks out on police absolutely by me. Presence been canceled Buddhist Nydia now that is an election campaign. That's you through airports. If you just have a t shirt favorite listening big Lewis We'll be back next week with the final full bugle of the year. And give us yeah.

Boris Boris Johnson Britain Brexit prime minister United Kingdom Jeremy Corbyn BBC Jimi Jimi Hendrix Alice Fraser Johnson America England Mike You Paul Mason. India football Boris London Mark Steel
Democramnesia - Bugle 4110

The Bugle

42:20 min | 2 years ago

Democramnesia - Bugle 4110

"Uh-huh. Gle audio newspaper for visual world allow you lose. This is a su- full thousand one hundred ten of the bugle I am. And these Oltman it's a twenty two months, twenty nineteen and this is an emergency bugle. We all just swearing distance away from where all promise to in the kingdom of beacon of all of our hearts has just resigns just hours ago as we recall there is no section in the business week, Theresa. My has deposited herself in the been in sacrifice full this no adverse, resist week. This is the only Dighton accounts and history. The twenty fourth of may two thousand nineteen possibly be seen by histories that. I when Boris Johnson's ascension to the throne became inevitable, and nothing else will matter more on this later. Joining me this week to pick over the bones of this latest development in the unending, bow to political diarrhea, that has emerged from David Cameron's, horrific yachts, firstly. Here in London with me box. Still welcome baron day on this very peculiar. Then that sit there said, lamented departed leader. Croix. Yeah. Croix a few minutes ago, engine emotion. Got to must be because it shows how in most have to do. So if she didn't cry toll when she visit survivors Grenfell tower caught. Over the wind, rush deportations, the food, banks, not, not. This is really, really makes you put one. The Laura go is Troy into perspective. Yeah. Yeah. Though to be honest. How many politicians did start crying every disaster that happened? They would just be an unending deluge. I guess some middle ground has to be struck. Also joining us from the safe distance of a hemisphere away, where there is no new prime minister that when there was possibly expected to be one Austrailia. It's Alice Fraser. Yes, Andy Helen Keller Andy. Hello, buglers. Yeah. In the ongoing quest to make forever. Briggs at the new status quo soon to be non Prime Minister Theresa may announced her escape from the office of person most held responsible for the progress on non-progress. I'm excited soon. New prime minister will plunge like a reverse Phoenix into the ashes of democracy in class trembling hands around the poisoned, chalice of a bad plan, major Arnold earns chote the bad guy in Indiana Jones, raiders of the lost ark. Get the melting faces of the end of the end of the phone, that's basically a fairly accurate description of, well, that's all of one of them may, we face is going to be prime minister. I mean you have to admire to resume because she's a woman and also in the cascading champagne fountain of posts surprise breaks decision in the referendum her Cup had the openness mouth, but truly I cannot wait feminism to get us to a state of perfect equality. So we can judge ambitiously boring windbags with delusions of Adleman on the content of the degraded character and not on the comparative distribution of flaps in the Equatorial region. I just don't want to have to keep pretending people are interesting because they women's beautiful to fishing. She could have did send thing with a resignation speech. She could have all of the damage. She's done could all been swept away if she done a proper resignation speak, and she just come out and going all you can do it. Three years, look here. So that Norway something Hannity. That of bloody, I all day. Nick the light of. Brussels pack was four. Bloody over privilege Victorian sweat. Got for ramble speculation. Jim how do we know? She didn't play it backwards. I really am. Glad that may prove you can be a mediocre bureaucrat who inflames anti immigrant sentiments, no matter what set of gender insults. Let you. It is. Truly truly historic day in phase forty eight of her resignation which began last year, progressed. When you play monopoly your plate with plenty for years, but he knows of monopoly goes on for an hour longer than it should when one player got all the hotels and the other one's seven pounds. She's been before could just hang on. I'll tell you what. I'll give you a pale landing on my fair. Goetschi's hanging on for that. Genuinely believe the monopoly was invented in order to inflame anti capitalist sentiment because you always end up just flipping the board. Choose essentially staggered on luck Akao boy, gradually bleeding out while staggering through the saloon vote does every drinking that inter before the timeline lying under a bus stop breathing. His last see will mcquaid herself to political history on the seventh the seventh of June. She will cease to me later, the conceptual remain as well. I'm reminded sitting lame duck. Prime minister even lameduck will maybe maybe she'll go on the sixth of June. If we send vans up down in St. with. On the. The terrible things she did forgotten an old stuff. She didn't do as a result of everyone else being awful, her also be awful, but at least willing to try truly it is a prime ministership which will echo through the annals of history, like a gust of wind through the annals of history. Recommend a quiz. If Theresa May was in a quiz in three years time. And she was tonight, the prime ministers of the last twenty years. Forget us. Totally possible. We can make that happen. Comtex. TV. Putting on the won't be marked by sermon. You'll national haram of general dissatisfaction at ten thirty AM one hopes. This does not overshadow the Pakistanis for Lanker. Cricket will not much impressed. And what might even more inevitable than it already was if its ability candidate increase when Andrea led some became the thirty fifth resignation from rickets. Reposted just. You forgot you wind up being jumping ship, even though that ship has been stuck in a dry dock and just being spotting on the, the, the pavement beside it. So, and they've been a lot of post the post mortems began before she even post-mortems of still twitching corpse. And she's just become the latest. We slowly impelled on the rusty spike at the top of the political, greasy pole had she run out of rope just finally bright enough rope to reach all the way around her own history, will be the judge. And she leaves after three years, blundering, office, Gatien woefully pseudo-compromises and that's been a time. We might come to look back on with funds nostalgic for what might be about. Sofala pecci. Remember, we just had a bumbling, contradictory Deadlight floundering vacuum and Downing Street, those many young children in Britain today. My loaner deathbeds it many decades. Remember as the greatest, prime minister valley lifetime. And even then in years, you still be trying to bring the deal back. Should be wondering the streets up to the homeless. Would you support my deal? Just wandering around South America in that Troy in Amazon. Troy, will you support my deal? She's willing to downs. Exactly. Soy isn't a soya of what she presents. I mean. Eight hundred fifty years ago, British rulers would go to Africa. Are they would say we've come to take over your country or land in your minerals, and there's nothing you can do, and she went there and they sit to dont b? Shows how Tom's of change isn't it? Maybe they said the same to Queen Victoria, and she didn't really understand language berry. She as she announced her departure in Downing Street. She issued a parting core for country that truly works for everyone, and which can only be interpreted as a savage, assaults on the conservative party. She said, we're bringing an end shit. Look back proudly on bringing it into a sturdy and fighting the burning justices that still scar our society, which is brother luck serial killer saying, look, some fish fingers in freezing our. Not. I mean she did as we've discussed on the beagle numerous times, she she she got Dell as I keep saying, a bad hand. And by she got two threes and fours, and bid fifteen no Trump's in bridge, pollens unin baseball, this defeat this go. David Cameron record showed. The relief pitching has been shit, but these lessons all stem from his floundering leeann competent arrogant, myopic pitching in the first innings, we are now left looking to the future, and the joys of a conservative leadership election. Mark yeoman Europe, presumably massive fan of Tory leadership elections. Yeah. Yeah. Well, usually a the favorite as costs so much Cafa fool with the boy because I saw the height trick between them all is such that the person who hasn't upset lots of the other ones by stabbing in the back shaggy in there. Ever is they do and boneless credit to east both things to every person in the conservative part, I think he's stopped some of them in the back whilst shaggy. I'm starting to think that maybe the British need to take note from their own history and, and maybe shipping Merckel when she retired like Habsburgs Mark, too. Bring back new poems. Shows great democracy. We are the prime minister was essentially deposed after secret meeting with a guy called Graham, presumably, some sacred preflight role. The official vision of the golden gram apps, and on new prime minister will be chosen by one hundred twenty thousand people, Tori, Tori members. Yes. Essentially average age of. Live in some rural Suffolk where where they will vote for someone that could still the immigrants coming in when the lost immigrant I was someone who come from different of sex Monday was today. Taking back control. We've taken my control. What we did. Crecy back so that we have the prime minister chosen by twenty three thousand. Twice. Old Melvin Grady's. That we thought it. It's better than, you know, when, when, when the European Union fully states Stanley Baldwin on back in the nineteen twenties six. Choice in that old school democracy. Right. It's, it's landowning old gentlemen. Yes. Probably. That's what might bring great. Isn't it? We'd never have organized slavery with after it would be. I'll have a status both both. Both know. And on next prime minister following reason, we'll be the fourth consecutive prime minister we've had who is not come into downing street's having won a majority at an election yet. Gordon Brown taking over from Tony Blair, David Cameron getting on coalition and Theresa my when Cameron resigned, whoever places Theresa May, and this is a great British tradition. We've had thirty two different prime minister since the great reform act of eighteen thirty two of these eight have come to power for the first time by winning a majority at a general election. Your said Cameron getting in, in a coalition Ramsay MacDonald on a coalition having one this is when they came in for the first time into office, Ramat, Don came in, in a coalition, having not won the popular vote for the most sees the rest resignations assorted governmental collapses into these, on party bike, Stubbings front stabbings and Julius Caesar stole three hundred sixty degree pincushions and the very casual cloak popping. This is this is all. Right. Democratic heritage three calls of shot. He was he was he was. I think it was. That was eighteen twelve twelve. Yes, Szott gos- fallback as that with Stanton. Odd wasted about an hour. Can it out ROY much from Joe? We get three facts on the bugle one of them. Double check my work on either so mobile full facts. But it's it's roughly a true fact, as Ian dunce the political journalist tweeted as threes, my, my he was about to approach, what he poetically describes the lectern of infinite crisis that shit is going down are looking at the possible candidates for new prime minister shit is also going to rise up and replace Theresa May going to be challenged for the toys to fund, the least politically putrid candidate that can be fished. Yes. The, the attitude seems to be will ask the research, so many people who have proved themselves so competent and qualified wonderful over the last three years. It's only fair that there is sixty four candidates. Including Dominic Robb who pays me second favorites having been notoriously incompetent, as branch secretary. He didn't realize that one of our major ports was a significant. Yes. Imported stuff. Things you pick up this. Jove extrordinary sweet. It was the Northern Line folks while giant lady birds moms, would you pick up with Brexit cigarettes? If you had a six year old show that thick you'd say, we're gonna have to get rid of get different show. Now, he's might be prime minister. Vote for you. Oh. The angry ones which just angry. Win win the angry party. What are you angry about this? Go. Go. Things. Great what I should. Thank you very much. Boris Johnson current favorite his popularity. Seems to be increasing in direct proportion to how little he has been speaking in public, the evidence of the critical role of democracy in Asia in society and age five he apparently declared, and I'm Bishen to be world king. Century should amend the he was jailed for life. I mean to be honest. It is absolutely crying out for the coin deductible for L suit volume that both earning gold. The arrows of desire lawsuit by Queen Victoria, Mike playing the nine children, the cloud, removing spare cherry afar the caffeine adult narcolepsy sword. Get back to business Lizzy step up to the polite incident or came across our only think of explains air, we've go here. I was trying to France. I don't feel it was the end of summer enough Oko in the ferry as a foot passenger be lovely, but they don't really care for any bowl so of abandoned. All and you get Dover and Pia no of a little disc there that some works in and you book, your ticket, and you just go on sale book taught me ticket, and they look it up and give you a little token, and then a bus comes around you get on this loop pass tikey round the pool and then onto onto the boat. So Hof, the people at this desk all day or week must be fringe because it's just going back was forced to France being the ferry as Dominic Robb mayo. There was a French couple of Fini English. And so the woman says to the woman at the Pierre does, as she says. VM b. Betto up. Comedian Twitter was and the woman swabbing changed word of this, the piano woman at the Pierre. No desk Dover. Pouring out dancehall to me and Frenchman. Frenchy. Shit's. The trouble with the left of liberals, we've been for a pointless waste. The country. Really like this woman a really sweet bell being so. New Evan Turpin Brexit. It's just a bit of self knowledge we called cut with it. We probably best for Europe, if stem to one side, and allow you to speak to each other in your strange coats. Shut up. You frogs don't you know English is the lingua. Franca. Anyway, do keep listening to the beagle for exclusive coverage of Britain's ongoing to sentence, the inescapable clause of the incompetent maniacs retrospect, they caught Socratic temocratic viruses cooling into the open wounds. Voss slowly self immolating political system. This week, we owes it was also shadowed. She was the, the European elections, and I'm not going to know the results until Sunday. But it looks like it's gonna be catastrophic for both conservatives and, and the, the labor party. And we I went to, to vote my local Churchill. What is most of these things get used? And there was there was a took my, my daughter helped me to help me vote to introduce it to the glories of democracy before his ripped from her. The chose vote in European elections, some that she could look back on only in her late ears. And there were two two ballot boxes on the table, and she went up with the folded ballot papers to the, the desk, which one door, put them in his doesn't matter. But one of them's gone shredder inside. She she put the vote. And this guy had own his phone shredder sound effects. It was unquestionably the funniest thing I've ever seen polling. Stumps. Funny, presiding officers. Waspish out our democracy voting from my ticket, opponents station. There are no votes as I went beserk with a flame thrower. I voted for the revolutionary s club. Party is always two reasons. Apparently just wrote, please help on ballot piper. The majority of Tory MP's not vote conservative. Election. But we did still manage to get a nice bit of institutional xenophobia in by a lot of EU, citizens living in Britain, who is eligible to vote what prevented from voting due to Administrational mix up. That's h again Lang our cards phone on the type we are not only afraid furnace, but we are also logistically incompetent. Two. Live here. Oh, I mean, I'll keep on the stained it because when British people go live in Spain than the first thing they do is they just become acclimatized in so. So, so much part of the community, speaking language, so beautifully. You can hardly tell their English to. Oh. Ober six. Spanish. The highlight of the, the European election campaign was the battle was knowledgeable ferociously pickle chilly, in the high British politics. Yes, we do need to change the way, we looked at things. But was that the way to do it and his battle with the milkshake the, the famous drink in the immortal words of callous, my milkshake key soul, the shysters on the bus, and he was, he was trapped on a bus by a milkshake wilbon grout. Possibly one of the most gloriously infantile despise a political protest. Great history. I should say, we are the people, we do not support the use of milkshakes as a weapon of political Tara sunny dairy baked base milkshakes, which is so bad for the environment. Of course because the impacts of dairy farming. Soy milk, shake not so much of an issue with effigies. If you must express your political discuss for the tried and trusted medium of destroying an effigy, please don't burn it just make effigy out of natural materials. Daily recycled, an express your anger by letting it slowly biology, Greg to accurately mirror, the history of the Theresa May government. There was a glorious raisin one other reports crowd quotes armed with milkshakes. What kind of piddly civil war hero, indulge themselves. Alice. You in Australia. You've also had your your election result and. Will surprise results Morrison Scott Morrison came through unexpectedly to retain the coveted coveted title of prime minister of Australia. Yes. Stray Leonardi left easer, tearing their hair in shock after election, that the polls indicated would be strongly labor. Leaning has instead, come good for the liberals in the coalition to clarify at the US listeners for us in a stray. Elliott liberals are sort of the conservatives except the because alva- tting is compulsory out, politics, tends to be a little bit more boring. So what we call conservative you'd probably consider center ride and what we call center, right? Is what you'd call left-wing being for example, awful, universal healthcare, except the immigrants we keep in detention in the UK what you call public schools. What we call private schools in what you call biscuits in America. We call bread rolls, what we will be Scott's you call cookies and what we call pancakes, crepes in what you call pancakes, called flat checks. But what the British Coal flap, flap? Dexia strenuous, call muesli bus. Right. Countries divided by common language once again, it's not all good news for popular strong manning as the electric booted out, many of the high profile dudes who are most blatantly fluttering, their eyelashes at Neo Nazis, like debutantes with Jews in their eyes. Tony Abbott phrase ending and Clive Palmer. All lost their seats, Clive Palmer in his continuing quest to be an incoherently blustering supermarket home brand knockoff of Donald Trump is taking credit for the coalition's. We in Queensland having spent sixty million dollars on mainly attack ads against labor. Rigging a couple of analyses of the results. And this comes from the chief economist at the Australia institute, think-tank tackle, Dr Richard Dennis who summed it up as follows. He said, landlords back labor and their renters backs for the coalition so that liberal Scott Morrison government. So basically landlords voted to give their tenants free. Childcare free healthcare will tenants voted for their landlords to keep tax concessions. This is a sensually political Stockholm syndrome. Isn't it? So what people really, really upset about this them while it was going on. I was at the ustralian HUD casting awards, I did not win the ustralian podcasting awards, winner was podcasting, and not me, but just the course of the inning got increasingly depressed as results came in after Nicholson of high when abbot lost his seat. Just just a bunch of lift yachts types, slumping down in their seats and applauding with decreasing cover people winning awards for categories that didn't even know existed. The labor party led by a Bill shorten is now now resigned plan of fighting climate change didn't seem to hit home with the electorate and the increasingly parched on fire encroaching. Desert vice country, that is more regular victim of extreme Clem incidents. What why do you think that was Allison? Well, we decided to stick with the political coalition, that's humiliated that self with bluster, an infighting, because it promised economic stability, rather than Tuesday, the labor party with its equally embarrassing infighting promise of greater action on climate change. I think mainly because we don't mind if the world burns down, too long where rich at the end of it will be winning when the world ends, don't floats, right? Yes, I mean, SCO MO is famous for presenting himself as sort of a man of the people while clearly not being a man of the people and it has given rise to one of the greatest old time, maims, which has absolutely no apparent foundation, in fact, but Scott Morrison should himself at Anga dean McDonald's in nineteen ninety seven. Me. The any any, there's no smoke without far root of. I of consistently finishes his his speeches by talking about his football team. The is is really into a particular football team. He you know, at the end of his political speech because yet, but on that particular date in nineteen ninety seven they lost heads. Presumably, he should himself in rage. There's a plug at the end gain McDonald's. So straight. That's the secret of his popularity with, with the electric, effectively his party works directly against the interest of, but they can relate to a man who shot himself in mental. Change it ten years ago, fifteen years ago, it was just as soon if you said you voted about grabbing a woman's Posey that was the end of your career. Probably every twenty minutes, Trump does something when years ago would have finished career Boris Johnson, everything he does finish it now fifteen years ago, if you were ever film, shitting yourself. Don't. What now? Oh, motto shed, Donald polling goes up? Mike mistake, but he'd won. But even more, maybe, I'm maybe this'll this'll impact on the conservative leadership. Hey. King. Jeremy hunt saying you know what my jam covered penis on the cuts. Wants to power. I mean, isn't it a nice proof that rears revolving to be more resilient? All be two in it. That'll be that such Chevy to on left jab on mine. So it would attract wall. More of a leader. I'm currently maintain the functioning wolf snus in my both sack. Let me show you. Leadership Britain needs did it when I was a bus driver. Two of them. Stung me once took the one three three straight through wound woods. We'll spend. Elspeth on my bullets wasn't the original version of lipstick on your caller. She's originally often has Wilson muggles Polanco turned it down. Showbiz news now. And well to reason my, of course, is not the only inexplicably long-running saga that has fizzled unsatisfactory ending was at the same time, threatening to spoon some deeply unsavory spinoffs game of thrones has witted into the TV sunset, and it seems to have Royal that's many fans by being a shit at the end life. I suppose it ended after was eight series. And with a plot that more holes in it than the millipedes trousers, tied up all the loose ends, like Albert Einstein's, hairdresser might as much sense as the last three is of global history multiplied by the laws of rugby union and Alex, the fans are not happy. And when even fiction is provoking mass protests. You know, the planet is in serious trouble, terrible thing after years and years of encouraging internet piracy, making dubious, personal hygiene, violence in wolf sexual ethics capes. Cool international streaming sensation. Game of thrones. Wrapped of its final season. It's last episodes, courting controversy with a series of exciting twists deaths and betrayals, which despite literally a decade of prior, exciting twists, debts and betrayals has caused absolute uproar on the internet series track Georgia, Georgia, Martin's books and people are pretty pissed and surprised that the last two episodes, particularly aunt feminist enough despite the original texts containing over two hundred rapes including child rape. Motoric magic ripen incest, feels like too many right, passages to be fun, even in fiction. Andy, what's the collective noun, an embarrassment of rape scenes? Though. I'm sure many of them are very now to the empowering fomative for character development of in a defensively, feminist way. Don't at maith please. Quick. Donald Donald Trump news, obviously in battle with berries, full range against him from in American around the world. He called his former secretary of State Rex Tillerson as dumb as a rock this week. Well, I mean, a rox actually keep very detailed information about hundreds of millions of years. Entirely familiar with. And it's one thing to be able to spot someone who's as dumb as a wrote. But it's quite another thing to pick that person out. And then give them one of the most important jobs in the world, which Donald Trump basically, went on strike refused to do any anywhere. I think the best thing we can hope for this state. So it's been I on the plus side with Trump. He didn't do any of the following things this week, a personally, drown a puppy on national TV be Bannel women from laughing. See invite France de urinate avenue force. One was flying over school for special needs children. He dryhome Lincoln monument, charter helicopter Edrich rutting seal caucuses over the crowd at the minor league baseball game between the Toledo mud hens in the Columbus clippers while trailing a banner behind his Achraf saying what if a Mexican on Muslim was doing that hashtag the world? So it could have been worse. It could have been a worse week. From? Siping them up for one. All right. Can talk Tober next week before the election. Sport now, and we'll the cricket World Cup begins on Thursday. And this makes me almost like so I'm going to ridiculous number of games in my other job. All of them, including when this two on the same guy. I mean, if, if the logistics allows Mark, then yes, I'm going to about two-thirds gangs the World Cup swimming. Statistics gonna look themselves Bali and incredibly England, actually have a genuine chance of winning winning the cricket World Cup our in fact favorites and we'll be in the best side in international one day, cricket since pretty much. All I started covering it for the BBC. So you're welcome. The World Cup on Thursday and ends as old cricket matches do either win one side chooses to ritually disembowel themselves rather than continue the game, Owen plays interrupted by the heat death of the universe. They say those who are tied of cricketer Todd of life. If you take the word life in that sentence to me. The one you actually that far off. There was a game in nineteen thirty nine famous timeless test England playing in South Africa where they used to just play games with no end. Tom now, five days with cheese and they played for two weeks, and then they called it a drill because England not to catch the boat home. And then a war broke out some and it was pretty close to what you've just described. The but wouldn't it be just if the heat death of the universe and in the game home entry would just be that's rather shame? He did. Not let it spoil. Some of the wonderful days, we've had eighty three. That I do love cricket Andy, but I can love cricket. And also objectively realized that it's awful like the cake that my aunt used to bake upper day, every would burn it every year favorite flavors in the world. But objectively horrendous or went to see capacy Sarma. I can't you. And a few things happened in the first hour and a half. Nothing. That. And a couple of years ago knows it can be a thing that was the incident that sort of said, this is county. Cricket. There was about ninety people. They're all of which was sort of. Even older than the average conservative membership. They were so most of their because they've been there the previous year didn't realize wintered coming going. Still there and. Three, the often noon. There was an announcement the tunnel you'll reminded that the sponsors for today's game will ever. It was funeral. It's good to know your clientele. Excitingly this year and much more on the crea- World Cup on the unbelievable podcast. I'm doing for ABC Austrailia with the wonderful Felicity ward, and also this week with Artie, no wires looking heads the World Cup excitingly, Mark the World Cup official song has been released before the tournament. Whereas in nine hundred ninety nine the last cricket World Cup here. The cricket World Cup. Someone's was released the day after England were knocked out. Learning from mistakes and to raise a million ever song, come out to go to be prime minister. Well, I mean, there's further. Good news for England. Obviously almost all sport is dictated by historical coincidence, and England you have a much better average at cricket World Cups, when the previous general election has resulted in the victory of a female prime minister reached the final in nineteen seventy nine. Off the factual at one, the seventy nine election. They reached the semi in eighty three. They reach the final nine hundred eighty seven. Factored won the eighty seven election. The fun in ninety two now factored gone by then, but they haven't yet had the ninety ninety two general elections, every timing done well, a cricket World Cup a woman who's won the previous general election. And since ninety ninety two all general elections up until the loss in two thousand seventeen one by men Ayman failed even to qualify for semifinals. This is Theresa May's one positive legacy for this country. Motiva- anyway, do tune in to future bugles over the next few weeks, we will will no doubt touch on the World Cup giving. All we spending most of my way hours watching, and much much was thinking about it, and the unbelievable. Unbelievable is available wherever you got your podcasts on the ABC website. Well that brings us to the end of this week's bugle mar fracture. Still have you on as always. Interesting die, too. Unleash your full glory of your love. Yes. For the people in the news. Allison's if you call Sii if you don't say anything, noise, don't say anything. Yes, I think that's, that's something that either of really followed through and. And Alice delights always have you have you on the show. Any any shows the plug. Yes. My film show ethos is up on my patriot. And I'm doing a show mythos in a London on the tenth of July the museum of comedy on the latest look it up on the healthy there. I'll be on the internet. There's a bugle live show at the underbelly on the twenty second of June. Featuring me Nash and Alex Mark going to come out to alert people. Let's coach Australia one day. So for pluck that. If he would like to fly Mark steel over two bedroom that I was recently staying in so. Trip coming together, you can deal with him talking about your, your eggs, Mark guys get on grace. To play you out as always in current bugles some lies about premium subscribers to join EPA voluntary subscriptions game go to the website it'd be lapook dot com and click the donate button, choose one of the zero makeup own contribution regular or one off. And if you choose one of the lie, including options, I will tell a lie about you on the show, and you will join some of the following people about who I'm about to bullshit. Debra Swain, things word will is under used and should be spread. More widely to refer not just a dog foreign puppies out of it gay tomtoms, but also to the creative process of writing a novel solving Sudoku. We'll providing an assist for a goal Michael, Nicole Kelly are not concerned about the Chinese government spy on through technological snooping, because they themselves installed, a what type in the Forbidden City when on holiday in Beijing in two thousand and four and a share the information gleaned through through a series of coded letters to the sun newspaper, someone known, only as for has proof that the real reason that Theresa May resigned, is that someone has video evidence that she wasn't fat, one of the nine hundred ninety s female American rock, band vixen and was replaced by a body double when she was elected as a local councillor in south London in nineteen Ninety-six Ken Samuels is unimpressed by clouds calling them fluffy time serving convention lists which have not evolved or improved in literally millions of years. Christian Cosa would love to see. Baton twirler could do with real weapons. He reckons they would have been very useful in walls up to around the mid fifteenth century. But it's now probably too late to find out. Stephen way has formulated and costed proposals to replace roads with zip ways, which are amongst the most environmentally friendly forms of mass transit available. Whilst Emma Colville is not convinced that swans are all that, and one is why they don't use their long necks, more in combat and social situations reckoning, they could hook that beaks around lamp posts will flying hide speed and use the centrifugal force to whiz round and knock the ice cream out of a child's hand Kirk robots would like to do away with maps, on the wells, underground metro systems thinking, it would help rebuild communities and disadvantaged areas if you just have to get out and see what was that. Who knows what you might like buy or invest in, or whom you might meet Roberto Tyler thinks postgraduate study should be allocated, the people who most need it. Not the people who most wanted he says that the intellectually, curious and gifted still gonna be curious gifted, even spent four years studying, the mating rituals of ferrets, or how capitalism causes acne or the atoms exist. It's the people who, don't take an interesting learning about the world, who would gain, the most Luciano Silva wonders whether pope. Genuinely float or whether they only stay on top of water because their special pope cassocks trap, pockets, whatever at any rate, he's never seen one sink on the subjects of sinking. It is a constant irritation to Neil Harrison that the Titanic get so much more meatier tension than all the boats that never sank, even once and finally care in Johnston would give anything an I mean anything to see the Queen play the trombone unexpectedly during the state opening of parliament just to see how the MP's react and be how far how Royal cheeks will puff out. Moralize next week. Go to the bugle put cost dot com. 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prime minister Austrailia Theresa May Britain Donald Trump Boris Johnson Theresa David Cameron Alice Fraser Andy Helen Keller Andy Cricket cricket World Cup London France Troy Morrison Scott Morrison labor party England Norway
Trump Takes a Mulligan

The Bugle

40:39 min | 10 months ago

Trump Takes a Mulligan

"Bugle audio newspaper for Visual World. Hollow buglers and welcome to another installment of well, this is going well the weekly assessment how planet Earth slide down the rankings as vehicle podcast. I am Ami's spoon fed my powerful pitiless destroyer of worlds. Sorry from myself used Israel's again. After. Nine Eight, hundred, and thirty, seven, consecutive I. It. Is Monday at Twenty, seven, twenty, twenty, this issue, four, thousand, one, hundred, Sixty, seven of the bureau, which by coincidence of the number of times the following things have happened in the past week since we lost to each other, the average British person is wanting to watch the news and said what now Boris Johnson is muttered the words. This is the Faustian pact ever football pundits said that has never handball. Game is killing yourself football supporters responded you have a point, but maybe try dressing the cancerous exploitative destructive through democracy of the wealthy clubs when they're trying to work out exactly how football Israeli against self So that we all that we another weekend, we'll wait expectantly for season for of the handmaid's tale as in light frothy escapism whilst courtney thinking small cells expect to the end of civilizations moving more exciting spectacularly so And Stan Hey we have a beautiful to keep going joining full the nicest week of joy around the world. Fromm Australia. Phrase. Up. buglers. How you? Flowing musculoskeletal on. Behalf of Bugle listeners Andrew on. Absolutely. Not Be fine when you're listening to apply satire of no idea of never really tried it. was. Strata. Australia seems to be doing comparatively well in the stakes of of. Collapsing Wick lapsing at marginally slower rates than other major countries. Partly. Because we are not a major country that we like to think about ourselves as such. But yeah it's. It's not bad. I spent the weekend looking at some cows. And how does that work out? They looked back. Classic Classic Human Cal confrontation also joining us for Ronald closer to our the shedding south London eight mark still follow and the odd jealousy allies in. Australia. While it's just with all their, we're going to have a second why even a third way even Even if you get locked down data each out there. Wonder Oh now of can be confined to this nine hundred square miles. Oh she's just. Oh Just so miserably predictably, wrong. When a few weeks ago when they? Boys till to go out a bunch of games and the pumps are often. Not? Clearly to. Be Don't understand because the reason the. Number going down is because we've all been indoors don't be so when we go okay, I'll pick it. Took Oh, there's a trip from the time. We turned it off. Let's turn it on again and attack one police gonNA stop tricky when you turn it on again isn't it? So miserable we got. An auto fat. Yeah. But the thing is you're looking at different perspective of the politicians looking you're looking at it from a yeah a cause and effect perspective whereas politics separate cause and effect. The Coles someone else's fell on the effect is your manipulation of the statistics to prove to be what you wanted to be. On. The twenty ninth of September in four hundred eighty. BC. Battle of Salamis took place the Greek fleet under the mystic least defeated. The totally undeserved sees the I had no answer to the Greek Barroso strongly flavored cured meat sausages if I remember the details from. Lloyd. Degree accurately on this day in two thousand, eight on the twenty ninth of September two, thousand, the Dow Jones fell seven hundred seventy seven point six, eight points its largest single day loss following the bankruptcies of Lehman. Brothers and Washington mutual funds that. Seemed seems most charmingly nostalgic now doesn't it just a massive global banking collapse got a happier simpler times where you know catastrophe or most seem just lock in the in the financial markets? We can anyone foreseen those bankruptcies happening in the collapse around well, No unless they'd had one of the following read qualities, foresights. Hindsight's all basic arithmetic. on the twenty eighth of September ten, sixty, six, William, the conqueror landed. In England beginning the Norman Conquest of course, it's been downhill ever since really land in Sussex if he'd landed in Ken. a kept him out. Easy. No problem on the twenty eighth at ten, six, six. William. The conqueror landed in England beginning the Norman. Conquest it's been downhill ever since but tomorrow this we have this week section in the been a free new part by part audio tapestry. chronicling Britain from twenty twenty in the start of the Bayer tapestry that charted the the Norman Conquest, and to construct your first audio panel of the history of Britain twenty twenty onwards construct your own seen from the following component parts a smuggler sitting on a throne, a group of fawning courtiers a sinister looking old man, a crowd of people holding their heads in their hands in despair a not looking virus, a confused dot and a very disappointed baby. Section in the bench. Top story this week. Well, let's let's let's just have a closer look. At the latest in Britain we'll we'll tend to the The TRUMPIAN tax issue Later in the show off on this now Well it's I. Mean it's hard to look a lot lockdown is i. think the government is probably about to say, that's you know lockdown as a spiritual states and we are all free within ourselves and then just shut up. and. It's so unpredictable who could have predicted that when students went back to university, they would stand close to each other. Before freshers week has always been both students just getting into canoed site going into. Greenland. This. What about the fame with the act, right? So I sat the NHL. APP. Would that he's working with it but it's each I sat because they've given it to this private company Cirque. So it's an NIH APP in the same way that Kentucky Fried Chicken does NHA's buckets of chicken wings. All dive in a nightclub does NHL Skunk and collapsed in the toy. It's nothing to do with it I just, but he just walks. Tight, applying, for it. I'll also so the track and trace the. Pro Tracking trae she said world-beater we'll be a boiled beach a game change on track and trace by the end of May, and then it was the jude and then July and then sit in a now he said this week he said it doesn't really matter elite was it doesn't affect the thing is shaped. Six. Bumps. You've been going. This is what it doesn't matter up. Child losing losing a rice at school isn't it wouldn't. Yeah I think other SURCO company you know they sub compulsory debate it. They've subcontracted the work hundreds of millions of pounds, worth of contracts that they got, and they've subcontracted out to companies such as debt collection agencies. And you've but with trek and you call me really sensitive what we want to find out where you were. A declaration. Of Companies on not. So. Tippety. had been an oily. For Bobby Q. Were we're claiming you claw. He'd Salia slag give jewelry. Out. I'll say well, is straight of optimism where do to the conspiracy theory all you know what they're doing that trying to kill. People because they had too expensive they paid. If they all know they are than this is the. Thing. They are utterly uselessly incompetent. Conspiracy they couldn't jump. Does these go whatever as no more than seeks people can gather anywhere unless you to the gathering of these four out of every three thus be outside during daylight and must hover like a humming bird. Bump. Where one point five people extra allowed? Late and Only allow two extra people in a house if you Bert a two of your family to make space with a maximum of people. At any time. So if you find yourself in a room, you bust leave. Immediately. That's. Clear. That anything. Of Heard. Rumors do unless you hunting grouse. Won't Kill opie killed. Know they've got these lockdown protests? What they should do is just ritually sacrificed graphs at the end as the post hoc. Justification. In town recorded short loss was allowed to record in a field the in Stratford upon even to the town Stratford even we're only allowed to do in a field with thirty people in this massive field it around while I was sorta missed don't troth stood on a tree stumps right as the stage. Shakespeare. Your mind it's the only of it on a writer recorded where punchline was twice interrupted by geese. True and. Bless him I don't. Even. If, either gun on one because it could have been a proper shoot employees have been allowed to have four thousand there. Well, this is the other straight of optimism thing. Buglers is that. I think people in Britain. More and more people are sort of thinking. This is all gone horribly wrong. The terrible things. So six months ago was all this this was going on and beat with the well, the government's doing the best he can in killing bore people than doing worse than any other in the world even now the thing Britain so Boris Johnson Zip was asked. Why of we had a worse record and almost any other country in the world and he said because we are freedom. Loving. They shouldn't. That's why we've been worse because we can't help it. We go the CO OP and we're doing a short meeting mosque and we rip you off because we L. Pick because it's an ad jeans. Because we. Re Not A. Mosque quit oh boy CASTA Tabah. It's just after they. Said for three hundred years every major innovation in the world has come from Britain and that's that's why we got coast. The virus is spread more in Britain than anywhere else because we invented the steam engy. So Stevens Full The steam engine I highly recommend a few suggestions for people who are trying to avoid covid in these troubled tons of one is everyone should stop vaping so that we can see other people's breath and dodge away from his. Thanks. Very good at the. The second thing is that everyone should have extremely loud air horns because no one wants to come near anyone with an air. Horn. said. He didn't. Get what the science. To avoid anything happening after ten PM because that's when the vampires come out and spread Kovic they're like. This thing about Vampires forget that there essentially very lodge mosquitoes. Yes. Forget. I'm. Just. Silent movie stuff where you watch them going to piano music can you don't hear the sound effect of the Vampires floating around going we? Let's more annoying much less sexy. So you don't get you. You don't get mosquitoes in the Italian restaurants because we'll a garlic. Crucifixes. Fraud that now, not in France. You caught roy running more they useless things on van pause it should be easy. I am. Really the only thing. Is garlic running water and the daylight. Anything that happens to be, cross shit. Accident Tweak. Sent. Consent. Can useless. Some more annoying. Okay. We're taking down the the big threat to humanity. That's been a lot of criticism from within the Conservative Party of of Johnson regimes latest diktats some of the Tories been saying they're doing more harm than good, which is not really the issue to be honest. It doing more harm than good because I, that's basically what they were elected to be because every possible solution to the situation does more harm than good. The issue is the margin of victory for harm over. Threatening. So Hundred A. Row. Beaten good. Good go from here. Rush. Look at as a comedian surrounded by the furious agreement, the educated left the intelligence very easy to make fun of Johnson because he's got a very difficult job, any makes it L- He makes it look easy to be good because you look at him and you think God any e can do a better job than that underwater with one hemisphere of their brain tied behind their back. The problem is that the skills required to be good at politics don't seem to be the same skills required to be a good leader of a country and that seems like a structural problem you know. Yes. The singers reveal the obvious deep flaws in not the way we can do democracy. Yeah it's like testing I wanted to be an airline pilot by having them run a hopscotch. It's not. It's like s skillset, but it's not the same skill set. Yes. I mean. You look at the things he said to to the country, and clearly there's a, there's an issue. Of Trust now and Disagreement basic different saying we need more powerful local governments, less power local governments more clarity from central government central government get out of it. People should take responsibility for their own actions and they need strong definitive rulings from the government's everyone knows exactly what they can do any support and close businesses we need to panic and not virus control allies we need to do. Things better in future and in the past and learn from Sweden stroke Germany stroke China's struck new. Zealand's struggle Stralia, Alanon Brenda from down the road. A fine stroke wherever people are allowed to watch sports will follow them a Antarctica Fangio Venus or we just learned from Britain because we Britain instantly on national commonsense men means we've automatic done the right thing. So it's An Johnson's leadership and he said he made a speech last week. He said I know we can succeed because we have succeeded before. The problem with that. I mean I that logic is flawed and because a lot of things succeed and then fail. You wouldn't lie. At the whenever the next Olympics is, you will not see team gb one hundred meters wheeling out Harold. Abraham. The nineteen twenty, four, Olympic hundred meter champion say well, he's a proven winner he's approved. He's done it before you can do it again I'd also there's another clip. If it jobs and says, we can succeed because because we've succeeded for full before there's an obvious flip side to that logic given the amount of times he is king filed. So in terms of pure probability it's not looking. Too. Clever he said this when the sickness took hold of this country in March, we pull together in a spirit of national sacrificing community. We followed the guidance of the letter we stayed home protected the NHL and save thousands of lives. Now, I know people can use whatever pronouns they like these days, and that is overwhelmingly a good thing but I don't believe Boris Johnson can use we in those sentence that seems entirely inappropriate to he added the single greatest weapon bring to this fight is the common sense of the people themselves well. Thanks for the compliment Mister Johnson. But when you all prime minister that suggests that British common sense has taken a bit of a back seat in recent years and other weapons were bringing to the fights. Are you Boris Johnson Dominic Cummings, Matt Hancock Health Secretary overwhelming or of confusion in an APP that doesn't fucking work as one of the most glowing of accolades anyway. Aren't they? Yes. That's very true I think. You would ask him for little shards of optimism. All I think. Statistics man you will appreciate this own Britain did achieve a world. Record. This week because Jewelry Boris Johnson speech at one point he said. It is absolutely important that we all. Keep to the rules we bust dot breach, the rules, and at that point, the greatest number of people single moment set the same name forty, million people in Britain would. Dominate. It was registered as earthquake by super size. Moment is around the world. At one point three on the DICTA scale. Family show this is. Does one before we move onto trump one more quick British story and particular relevance to to to mark Kent border. Now, of course, Kent border evenly think we'll ask Austrailia. Number five. Starting five numbers five and six batsmen ninety, ninety, one old trafford actually. Martin Ken only played three matches for the Baggy Green and legendary Captain Allan border early in his career but some. Michael G-O-V. announced. Essentially, there's going to be a a sort of de facto border for lorries. Kent before they travel. To to the a you now. Mall. You'll from your your. Ken Cricket Fan. You grew up in the sort of the lung to London London part of Kent. Area. Grew up in the disputed border town of coverage wells and. It's How do you feel about all county becoming a? Four. It was brought up in a sworn lean cade. So it's of just outside the London Ba. But Yeah I. Think they should go further with this think that Swan Lee should actually become part of France I think Margate and Ramsgate should both be called Roumania. And authentic sitting born should be placed within the disputed india-pakistan border currently in the I think. There's something. About the fact that most of came voted brexit because they're sick of foreigners and now the population of kid is going to be forty, eight, million of which forty, seven, million, a remained truck drivers stuff marine right at. something. that. I if kept becomes, if can becomes a country which it should do, we'll have a team at the Olympics. And we'll be mulching right beyond CAIN. You're at the opening ceremony and if there's anyone from oil school that means, Kenya will not win any middle distance medals because all the ones go up. On. Can you. Say. Forty seven million reminding lorry-drivers that's only a slight exaggeration. Michael Go said there could be seven thousand lorries queuing in Kansas seven thousand that works out around the eighteen mile. Lorries he described this as a reasonable worst case scenario, which by coincidence is my online dating profile. Seven thousands this is taking back control was all about? Isn't it? Yeah, Lorraine's. Everywhere eighteen loyal. Cute. So that goes right for London that will go from Doug go Roy. Moore, came up to London. But worth it. At passbooks back weight. Off, boy. Dot Boys in fully seven years to get to funds. Coping Ospel back. A colleague never was a first plug calloway never pro nearly blew. Everything in Britain's Navy Blue Navy blue postboxes posses everything mostly I've flagged nearly. Blue, blue. I mean, even the GNOME invasion had the sense to much through Kent quickly without causing trouble, we're not we're not. Hosting is part of the intense series. Everything, there is ten, sixty, six, ten, sixty, six, club, ten, sixty, six vets every. Building Company called William the concrete. American presidential tax news now and well exciting revelations from the New York Times. Yesterday they person extensive reporting to Donald Trump's tax affairs issue about the about which usually fourth rights and Gob Shiite? Yes. Mr Trump has been well demurely almost coquettish Lee reticence over the years is the first president since the seventies not Polish his tax returns and it turns out that Well, basically, he's been putting the rockets into tax brackets the only into avoidance and the shows. Total disregard for ordering people and the overall wellbeing of America into the he shows total disregard for ordinary people the over wellbeing. Of America, the investigation showed chronic losses in his businesses and years of tax avoidance accent way he paid just seven hundred and fifty dollars in federal income taxes in twenty, thousand sixteen and in two thousand seventeen and no income taxes at all and ten of the previous fifteen years. I mean you could admire the face bowls vein. I mean I think the Americans will admire it like this is a nation of carpetbaggers and religious zealots who were fleeing from the freedoms recently granted in. England. They would you know some people knew very committed to a cause in the moment the causes capitalism he can get away with doing. Terrible. Terrible things financially I think it'll be good for his UNDIS-. Both. Maybe, the pulled acid has been skin Alzheimer Vilson. Struggling food on the table. Lost Tower. The top police. Now, all of these any pretty much every guy. He does something that ten years ago you'd go will that's the thing here now but doesn't buy. Sell his door to. Pew. In. For. DOLLAH So he goes. Sex with a Badger Loy. Ready Wisconsin. Verge. Is that what he's done. I mean people used to the moon the hypocrisy of politicians who would pretend to be good people while secretly being bad people and Trump's big selling point is is authenticity and. Iva One long for the days of Papa. Chrissy wants more get. Bring, back, hypocrisy. I've been following the the the betting odds for the American presidential election. This story made absolutely difference making it as you say to Magin. Anyone. Changing. Their. Mind on. Donald Trump. Now. Exactly. A trusted him before when he was written by cages but. You don't trump now would be being roald Amundsen getting two hundred yards from the South Pole. Full turning back and saying whether whether dialup. Freezing. Well that a truth three weeks ago because you think, oh, I was slightly concerned that you know like like an actor. Mad of way apply and. You think we've left yourself now to go I was gonNA leave any spice for a crescendo with the still weeks. He's Because then a couple of weeks ago, he's don't. See that one way restate we've got people. That Joe Biden a dangerous man. He got on a plane with people wearing black the plane was full of people wearing black. That thing. Wouldn't say he's. CHUNKING UNMELTED O O. O. It's fashion thing. Is it a thing? Is it Off. Of. The. Liking jokes about Alex. you might not joke about what trendy people were to me and mark I mean. The world. To joke about what trendy people were in. I would get it. But people plaque not city. That's just so bad. There's a plane full of people as e books many blacking Kgo Eight, confused I'm. Joe Pods a dangerous man it watch Godzilla treads on buildings I know people fantastic people demolish Tokyo. Sat on all the buildings. I mean, there are possible ways of explaining why this I Suppose it's yeah, booed line billionaire has. Absolutely no tax other than the fact that he is truly noble human being who hates all humanity as possible. He found a legal loophole whereby he can be taxed on his spiritual wealth rather than his financial wealth in which case. Seven hundred and fifty dollars ears overpaid significantly. There's also the issue of you know. What he's climbed as deductible expenses. Including aircraft and seventy thousand dollars full. Styling. Look. I've done a little bit of Sally Very Little Bit Sally's. I'm I'm not going to judge. The reason John got the HBO job. Instead of me was he was having to go with a five hundred dollars an episode on the hairstyling budget and all would go thousand. So look I'm not gonNA judge. Trump. For that. Issue four, thousand, one, hundred, sixty, seven of the big on by coincidence that is also the numbers. The old joke goes of the total employees at the trump organization it takes to change a lightbulb wanted to change the light and four, thousand, one, hundred, and sixty six to be listed as lightbulb changing consultants. told us about just tax. Dot. New Time said the published these details Because the Supreme Court's repeatedly ruled at the first. Amendment allows the press to publish newsworthy information that was legally obtained by reporters even when those in power fight to keep it hidden. So that's The First Amendment trump clearly massive found the first amendment and yeah, he's he plays a lot of Gulf clear firmly of the belief that the mulligans rule applies to amendments as it does glide to golf. If you don't like the first one that comes out, you just move straight on to the second one and forget all about the I and he loves that Second Amendment also go few your own card it relies very much on trump. called. Young. So that's the way to taxes. You just run called nothing. Yet running golf has their in. KODKA's no one else can bring themselves to watch anyone else playing. Pool. The. First. Gulf. Live. Past a golf course occasionally and I it's the only time in my life that I'm evan tempted to cat coal just these old men hitting the balls around another fronting delight yet hidden. Man. He's encouraging husband to play more golf. It's because she wanted to be as far away from her as possible. That's probably What is Was Probably Fair. The first presidential debate. Tomorrow as we called. and lost could be quite exciting. Trump has recently smashed through the twenty thousand lies in office. Buildings to the Washington. Post's lights out. Elisa is going through twentieth is broken the record set by William Henry Harrison who rattled out nineteen thousand and four lies in his thirty one day presidency in eighteen forty, one with a nine gene. Thousand of them were him insisting that felt absolutely fine wasn't about to die. Three of them were saying gene therapy with my ship and the last one was in claiming still to be alive. Other news now and Alice's wrecks in news few as someone who desperately wanted to go to the moon. But NASA has announced plans to have a woman on the moon by the year twenty, twenty, four Mean personally. I'm as a man, I'M A. By this because let me say nowhere left men can call their own. Safe Sanctuary. For Guys, you just hang the moon lost my own. Up to say twenty. Who now give it a? Just a place where men can be made because women are allowed to have women only clothes, shops, hospital ward, swimming pools, thrones, seating areas in places of religious worship. I'll bet no even out a single moon. Old. Early governments and And Also men invent men invented the mood I let's is even tell because it is. No use massively impractical and looks like a bull. The funny. Women in which I think he's a nice move agenda equality and a terrible move the equality of allocated resources to the problems of our own planet. What does it matter if there are hundreds of thousands of illustrate women living in poverty and dying by tons of preventable diseases and preventable? If, they can turn their faces to the moon and think well, some rich American woman headed period on that. I'm not integrating the idea that representation in the league field is an important an aspirational goal I just think that people in general less inspired than they were in the sixties and we're in an age now where people will hate you just because the people don't like like it who wants to see the toxic pop culture discourse on the GHOSTBUSTER REBOOT IN-SPACE Well, offering is marvelous. COUPLA vest. Also the really pleasant calm people and then. They they would be wouldn't they? Absolutely. Kicked off get G. G. It's GonNa get a pool. Nothing. Going Zoya panic attacks the slowest. Reentering the atmosphere. Sounds Terry Floyd swift it. What is I think comes back into the atmosphere it swings from soit to soy and it sounds like is all explosions going around and this? Terrifying it some. What was the? I'm Helen Sharman. Terrible. Yes. National do not I just I British Female Astronaut Yeah I just exuded of calm. She got the moon. She'd be pretty out there she. SHOULD GIVE A. Quickly lets people make up some thoughts sits. In them up. Call Back. I'm just jealous because I'm not an astronaut. Really. Would you frontier? Being an astronaut. The Moon. Walk Walking. Well, it's always important to get back to the moon just to check that the an people who weren't there before not mistaken and that collective summary The apollo missions which was. Cool hair has been very disappointing lack of aliens the Food Shit the golf course is in terrible terrible condition. David attenborough news now and Alyssa mcsorley news about David. well, basically. The UK's official National Granddad. He's joined Instagram PA To be the granddaddy presidents in people's lives through the medium of Wherever instagram does. Best note of course, type summer for his career making zebra snuff movies and hardcore insect poem. Really kinky spider stuff. So. Why is he joined instagram now Alex? Well he's he's put out a few videos now he I mean, he has broken Jennifer sorry David Andrews Broken Jennifer. Aniston's instagram record for the foster time to reach one million followers. which is being reported as news like. Yes. Obviously, he's clearly a much better and more interesting personal on instagram and he's come out and he said he wants to share information. We only new medium he's come out and and and told some dirty stories with Michael Palin and he's doing some great stuff on instagram so far which mainly involved him being, David. ATTENBOROUGH and people thinking well if David Admiral still alive it can't all be wrong. The government should be throwing all the money that I've got making sure David after never dies nothing he has a Sacred Juicy not to his cloak. Looked at some emotionally the first few pilots William just. pouting woods camera held above his head flatteringly lit but move onto more interesting over the mirror. into stop up posting fist. Traps. Your. Strap gentleman he's a sort of a slightly coy but. Overtly, sexy Selfie, which is posted in order to Induce I. Aka Arousal in your viewership. Oh Go. What did all that guy up call years ago? Of built onto TIKTOK. event. Tiktok map just remind you if the inevitability of De. Brings the end of this week? Bugle I'm alison shows to plug other than, of course the wonderful last post two beagles sister show from another dimension yes. I'm doing a show at the Opera House soon, I'd also like to plug looking at CAL's Ashley. And you look at them and you go all there shouldn't be any hot hoped remnants on Australian soil. We don't have any native animals that have hot who send you breaking up the the delicate topsoil disrupting the ecosystem in the cal expected union goes well, you're in settling. A. Beautiful. Being in touch with nature you know. Listen Man. I'm. In town series next on on radio dogs are I've got to one in Stratford that the gates interrupted and we recall running Bra announced. Recalled, the other ones so thought there is a series plug that will be. Broadcast. In two, thousand and seventy six. And A. Really. Really hope that people listen to that between now and then I'll probably be driving. AMAS and fans. Good well, not happy now that's. All is left to say, is to remind you big Lewis to take advantage of the new range of Bugle merch which as I speak crissy's modeling. Very very sexy for us. the very sexy. It's your face Andy. Squad. It's very hard to wear a badge of my face on without. Exuding raw almost animal autism The new bugle merch t shirts, caps, saux badges, stickers, Christmas jumpers available for. preorder go to the BUGLE PODCAST DOT COM and click the merch button Dave, and also join our voluntary subscription scheme to help the be Bugle, keep going and independent until next review.

Britain Donald Trump Mister Johnson Austrailia William Henry Harrison NHL Boris Johnson England London Stratford instagram Olympics Washington handball Israel Kent France Alex. Ami Fromm Australia
Everything Is Fine

The Bugle

45:24 min | 6 months ago

Everything Is Fine

"Bugle audio newspaper for visual world hollow buglers and yes it does appear. That's twenty twenty has spilled into 2021 apologies for that i manage zoltin this issue thousand one hundred and seventy nine of the bugle. It is now the forty second of december twenty twenty all the eleventh of trump pemba the nineteen day tribute supplement added to twenty two and eight by the dates. An international calendars world advisory director. All do want. I literally have not moved since the last bugle record in fact if you listen now very carefully you can probably the echo the end of last week show please send oxygen Here in london word is just reaching me that in order to make people abide by the latest anti-movement covid regulations government will be reducing the temperature to minus two hundred and seventy two degrees celsius. Says that no errand particles in your body mindless only even contemplate wobbling around dangerously and joining me this week while to pick over the smoldering remnants of the american dream It's from america. Hari kondabolu hollow hurry. How how how you. Well let's outside say how you up. Andy how am i how am i doing. I know you read. I know what you know. What's going on terrible. I'm terrible terrible. Flesh that out further in on the show and joining us from here in the united kingdom where well we have a little bit to tell you. Americans about the decline in fall of embarrassed do pay attention. It's mark stale. How you mock oh terrible. Just the only way to be is terrible. The most annoying offseason people about mammoth. That was in late. I an initial just teach terrible and that there's no leaving at the mike diabate. Lucky repealing billy. He didn't really paints. I'm just kidding. Wobbling around mind blood. Indeterminate number of leagues until he comes down and eats apps for much. What we're doing here is go. Got another argue that indianapolis venture like those of course crystal palace gone. Looks out the cup as well. So yeah yeah yeah. It'll be no one's allowed to the guy who really well well so of ready. Brilliant software and i just go these players running around on computer games. I'm starting to think when it comes to cover the if it is a hoax. It's a good one isn't it. I mean you've got to give him credit. The hugs mangas. I've i've gone in big. This isn't just mike and up. a lot of obviously. Unfavorable dinosaur skeletons are hugging hoodwink. Gobble into in. The world is more than six thousand years old. You know it's not. It's not claiming that lenin was a mushroom. Lenin was a mushroom is that was a conspiracy theory genuinely look it up. That was was news. I was really skeptical of the conspiracy. Theory that The vaccine was just a ploy. Bill gates microchips as thinking. It might be something because the other women have about ninety three cross the road to buy. Microsoft word excel sixty nine nine hundred ninety three months so obviously yeah it is. It is making the moon landings so the so-called moon landings look a skill nativity fly. We're recording of the The eleventh of january on this day in the fifteen sixty seven. The first ever lottery in england was held partner. Great national tradition of undeserved randomized rewards that Lives on today in. The form of the honor system and the lottery was to raise money to help. England expanded influence wealth and the power around the world out times change All ticket holders will promised This extraordinary the tickets were think ten shillings an old ticket. Holders of promise freedom from arrest from for all crimes except murder felonies piracy and treason Think trump might be out for four on those. Now i think and the winner Five thousand pounds which is a massive son some time Five thousand pounds now of course. A cubic centimeter of the glue of a mid range primarily left back five grand back in fifteen. Sixty seven was serious which it was paid partly in money and partly in tapestries and good quality linen which is coincidentally how we pay Bugle co hosts not know that before Any some absolutely and tapestries coming away On this date in seventeen fifty nine. The first american life insurance company was incorporated in philadelphia under the catchy title of the corporation for relief of poor and distressed presbyterian ministers and of the poor and distressed with us and children of the presbyterian ministers or is it was of course known. Copd pm pd wc pm But this was Before about branding he was. I mean. that's that's a tough sell. isn't it. The the corporation for relief porn distressed presbyterian ministers and of the poor and distressed widows and children of the presbyterian ministers. That's that's that's not how america will do it now is that is not is not catchy. Catchy title company. Now think is part of a some bigger insurance insurance group but dead prez but i think we need to learn about brand. You look at petrol stations. Apple green is an apple green petrol station. That by putting words apple ingrain in an historic means that your car no longer pollutes And doris the happy frog is Major dealer of arms to saudi arabia as always a section of the vehicles going straight in the bin and it's a a phrases section With the world changing so fast many the old phrases and no longer apply and have had words changed by international language committee The old phrase with power comes great. Responsibility is now with great. Power comes great. Social media pro fallen deluded. Sense of personal encourage ability at the darkest hour is right before the increasingly dark subsequent for years repercussions spanning potentially decades Fools rush in where no longer. Where angels tread fools rush in where their full leader tells them to russian It's been updated in the last week or so. If it ain't broke smash the thing to pieces The pen is mightier than the pencil. That's really all. It's much these days and honesty is the last refuge of the vice president so that's phrase section in the top story this week. The american uncivil war. What's the it's Well how are you are are Collapse of american civilization correspondent Aerobics you've embraced with great yasim over the past four years Talk about you. are you On the first bugle after we relaunch just before the election of president trump's just Just bring us up to date with the last lost. The recent events in trump's america let me first say Will the aliens get here already. There this is the time we're week. Were diseased. We're destroying ourselves. This is the time you know. There's a lot of things one could say about trump but the man could make an exit. I mean he leaves with a bang. Bang bang bang bang. Wednesday started great. You know he didn't start out ball shit. I actually felt optimistic for about an hour because The democrats won the georgia runoff. Which gave them control of the senate. The house end the presidency which is a huge paradigm shift in american politics because it changed the question from how are republicans going to prevent anything from being done to. How are the democrats going to this. One up that's huge very big victory. Also raphael warnock and john o. Soft and they be a kelly leffler. Who is the most racist. Nba owners donald sterling and David purdue who just generic rich white guy from casting american politics needs more of them. I mean he this is he'll be back. Could we find currently bathing and gold coins about of them are fine but warnock ass off one again. Which is exciting. I wish the headlines read republicans get knocked off but nobody decided was for you and i don't wright jokes much appreciate it. That's that's been the best thing that's happened to me this year. A black man and a jewish man are now the two senators of the state of georgia which to explain how likely that is. The only thing less likely is if they became senators in the country of georgia. So i was in a good mood until i put on the news but You know sometime in the afternoon. And i saw the capital under siege. That colonizers were getting restless. They were the capital was raided by trumpers. Proud boys in what appeared to be extras from mad. Max fury road also potentially some tourists who saw a line and just gotten it. I think that's how the british empire started. We go back to the very beginning of this. Sorry story of. After months of claiming the election was stolen and years of being a piece of shit from trump released. The cracking they smash through the doors of the capitol and went onto the senate floor. They went into nancy pelosi's office and sat in her seat. Things were destroyed and stolen. People took selfies of themselves or as their now known. Self incrimination ease some were armed. Some handcuffs to ideas were found. Ideas of course are improvised explosive devices. You might be familiar with those. Since they were found in iraq during the most recent war we had with them when we claim that we were trying to bring democracy over. If the people have had seen this footage from last week beforehand they probably could have said. Don't worry we have that here already. It was one of my favorites Point favorite but at that rally that you mentioned Before the violence a kicked off As trump was still can was throwing his toys out the prime and boy toys. I mean violent supporters now the prime main directly up the road stone. The capitol building He called the election result. Bullshit and at which point. The crowd then started chanting bullshit. Bullshit and i think that might have been peak irony in human history. Trump's crowd chanting bullshit bullshit at trump. Might i think that might be the at the moment. All civilization essentially ended. Its over the. There's nowhere for the human rights to go. After this especially is of what surprised us all was the it was trumping this just so out character. A just showed you. It's always the one delays expect trouble. Isn't it neighbors when he keeps himself. Which oh it's so it's a a as bad as you could on on people said i'll what could you cite as solid. That's what you've got like a block dressed as a buffalo invoking men starts his event berry capital bailed it on the every. Say they just the police. It is pretty much. Just let you mean presumably. Must've told where. I mean if this if this two groups of people that you know throughout history are doing money hall. It's vikings and nazis so this so bag. I'm just. I wonder now because all the already oil was up but owing if anyone eighty-one without the proper credentials eight sort of vaguely militias in tate goat with us thousand yards of the capitol building even looked at a steps. There's probably some special later thing from spikes that goes and they never heard of game. I fact you could just walk up smash a window and walk in. And i think now probably every campaign should try say the chilton soiling lying campaign instead of just having little out so the local town whole should disinvite the capitol building some old of franklin d roosevelt harry. Christmas doubts straight gandhi. Going to smash their way. Bannon's owned city of they. Don't go anywhere you're just allowed in. The virus does so few people that i give but they probably this keeps happening. Why the need so because you know when you go with a water slide. a theme. Paul can you come off as pictures. Taken of each post. And you can bully. They'll be like that. That'd be glad to bali momentum photo we got one of you pissing on the senators here. Look i can understand from some point of view Donald trump really doesn't wanna move house because moving out is pine the best times. Isn't it and especially during the pandemic. But i think he's taken his just just a little too form probably clinics string of failures. How led to this. Heartbreaking stomach churning lethal malarkey a string of failures dating back to us discussed seventeen seventy six of course and the decision to To unburden the usa. The transatlantic umbilical cord nurtured america with god given world leading british wisdom and insight that Can still be seen in the fact that britney's the greatest nation in the world right now absolutely everything. Some two hundred and forty five years later must stop commissioning gavin williamson the education secretary. Write my scripts. But it's it's how is is this hour is was this. The end of the lost thrashings of an idiotic serpent's tail or is it the culmination of delusions politics mutants variant of democracy is philosophically committed to nurturing sharing and promoting delusion is is it just the end of episode one of a tediously horror series. Now this is this is the end of the new hope We haven't even started the empire strikes back. This is just the big league net. We've seen them Riot because jessica's trump's gone he'll be martyred probably like if you get thrown in prison or whatever like he's ongoing away. These people aren't going to go away. In fact they have weapons and despite the fact. That militias tried to kidnap a couple not one but a couple of american governors and threatened to kidnap the governor of michigan's family and the governor and kill them. You would think the security would have been beefed up a little bit when a whole bunch of these people stormed the so. I think it's not over partly because we have seemingly taken very few steps to prevent it note again that there hasn't been a terrorist attack in a while they focused sorry a foreign terrorist attack. They've they've focused a lot of the energy on that. And i think that's wasted because if i was a terrorist in another country and saw what was happening to america i would probably think to myself. Don't worry america you got this I'm not gonna waste my airline miles. Well think in a hotly contested field that might be the most depressing joke ever told on the bugle as being a few thelost for thirteen years. But at least hollywood just nine days away now from being able to wake up the first time in four years with our first words the debating. I had this bat. Shit crazy. Nightman which america elected as its president is on the front page of my newspaper. Only nine more days of that. I mean the only person. I could imagine this. The last four years really helping is fifteenth. President james buchanan who was regularly listed as the worst president of the united states is sending in his gold medal as we speak after all these years of being on the bottom of the list thinking it was hopeless to ever considering that his presidency ended up losing to the civil war the fact that trump top that was a civil war end to pandemic and the threat of nuclear war. That's pretty that's pretty cannon. This is interesting. You say twitter twitter account being permanently suspended. But he still has control of america's nuclear arsenal. Now is that the right way round. I've we canceled those subscriptions in the correct order. Here's the thing he does not. I think he's not going to use those nuclear weapons right and it's not because he's worried about the sake of humanity he doesn't wanna die for the sake of self preservation won't do that if the world ends then he ends like if the aliens came down he'd negotiate with them and give them the world that's not an issue you'd sell us all out because he'd be okay but in a in a nuclear situation now he might die that's his whole life has been about self preservation but it all starts you'll say all of these things and both in the same things profanity similar box. The only people didn't seem to be aware that somebody like this would happen. Would be the people in charge defended building or just saw we could possibly which is non clues that he would do anything like this very critically say once or twice a day on all of these social. Come to washington dc on the sixth of january. Where going to smash up the capitol building oil. Mock staff there with you. The this is so carefully. How did the novel was able to work as he was going to go. There told and this long now but failing but there was there was lots of discussions. Wasn't the between the. The people ended up going there. About what should we take. Do we tight gums walks and all that just like people on go on a trip all into to adding it was like back so be spoiled it but that's what they're going to do something the thing they said done they personal safety. He is what he was going to. Turn the t. Shirts really struck me the sixth of january civil war t shirts. You see people wondering around with ozone looking at least an alarm bellwood dingle somewhere currency news now and well. If money makes the world go round We've got problems here. In britain because i coin has been released the had errors on it A attribute coin to the science fiction writer h. g. wells a two pound coin Apparently had a a wrong quotes on it. I knows how to pictures of service. Famous creations the tripods which he wrote about something became a tv series much older tripod with four legs which generally goes against traditional tripods three legged and apparently the invisible man one of wells as famous characters at was wearing the wrong kind of hats which i mean. Mark this out of old at at trouble. Britain's had recently. This is the last thing we needed. Isn't it you know some some misprint. Honor coin it reminds me. In fact of a showgirl. Iran's towns roy towns in that speech will be tricky over the last eight months. Joss tocado before lockdown. I went to strapped evens jog at that and stratford on. I swear shakespeare was born and given you by not might be seen of it. Justin tony starts rate. Just every little bit striper is photoshop. These real ones. There's a there's a butcher school to be for naught to beef. There's a catholic. There's one really annoyed me. The cafe goes it music. Be the food of love. Play a playoff. But that's really because that's about music food you in your idiot so shouldn't be food. Be the music of love. then cocom essentially coming to. There was a great. We get as many gravy gift shops. They're one of the nazi shirts. shakespeare quotes or one of which was chatting jew. Challenge you to a battle of wits but see you have come unarmed with the shakespeare but it wasn't checks with that was off the wall and the body shop is selling this frozen in. Stop all you've got to check in straight take sacred and similarly these two pound coin people signed with ice g. wells they've gone. Oh yeah with these tricky. It's come down. They would troy before. Legs employed job is to check later of tribal well see brexit thing. Mark tightened up brussels with regulations. On how many legs now. Four legs troy ports. I mean to be fair to be fair to the people who made the h. g. wells coin if they had a time machine i'm sure back and work in this instance The the wrong shape half of the invisible man was less i about that because Icl's invisible man story in the eighteen ninety s. So he was. I am man in the late nineteenth century and be. He was invisible so i reckon is going to have at least two hats minimum probably multiple house so you know I mean why would you only have one hat. If you don't have a visible head just agree to that is the more we have always done. I would agree. I in fact. I was in a hat shopping. All these prestigious opened with these two Two fetters virtual like seventies dressed immaculately one of the timing as he come eighty six and must be working there. We died several years and years. I wanna say or just being from trafalgar square. You wouldn't believe the number of people who are wearing just his decline in halfway riggs post lesson other currency news. Bitcoin has doubled in value in the last month. Mean this in many ways this again is a story that encapsulates everything about the modern world as we get more and more anxious about reality. Bitcoin even more fictitious. Pseudo crypto currency even tissues than real money. I and s doubled in value over a month. Essentially the financial markets are increasingly fleeing any market even tangibly linked to the real world and going all in essentially on national parallel universes. And this understand economics as you guys both Both will would know having worked with the years but how could they. Because bitcoin was worth five years ago. Cool which was correct. But it's cleverly. Exploited endemic floor in the human brain regarding how economics album is itself and so one of the most valuable non-physical things in the universe. Just the value of hope joined truth of collapsed even further over the past. Yeah but how do you explain this. Bitcoin doubling in value at the moment. I mean i don't to me like when i read this story. It felt like they were saying. The snozzberries tastes like snozzberry. Like i'm like i. Don't the hells of snozzberry. I don't know how they work. I don't know what they're supposed to taste like. So i yeah because it says you should be because it's just in moins i. If you are aware of that pose you could play a hundred x and the next day said it for two hundred eggs. And you got you go. One hundred x prophet. There is in the real world but people tend to believe it and they go. These xi's are now actually worth more and therefore they can't stop going up in value. Chew bitch makes the so wants. People believe in same bonds that of the same we've debt packages before two baths tonight. That would just be bundled together and sold for bank to bank to bank and everybody forgot what it originally was so we didn't any relationships in the real world the chew rage. If it's it was judy blume's they just going on. But but they can't stop. But there's no actual real value being created eight sub. Eventually when someone goes on. I need on both know my debt package on my bitcoin. Whatever it is back well. This is best explained grid years they get you. This is the economic. This is one of the best explanation. It's a bit complicated but may republicans when That it wants his money. Back from the bank is six. Waiver is will panic and think about. He's not the banks money because people think the are money then it doesn't. They collapsed bringing about the destruction of a society at the end of the difference. Roy of women suffrage and a triumph of imagination as off the wrote memory poking horrific dystopia right there with the handmaid's tale in my book Other cryptocurrencies doing well at the moment. Include pretend to grams. Fitted spoof wage fo- florins bragging rights and the swiss roll and elon. Musk has jumped on board. He region become the world's richest person. Subject from mason that he does actually exist and he's said he would happily be paid in bitcoin. His personal wealth is invalid at hundred ninety billion dollars sneaking him ahead of just jeff bezos. Who's having to tighten his belt to get just one hundred and eighty five billion dollars at the moment he might have to start doing some of his packaging and postage himself just to make ends meet and fold. Do you think he's geico. I was going to buy saturn elon. Musk longtime rival pila. Smokers announced plans to build a warp speed. Mega mega tunnel through the center of the earth's core to reduce travel times on the not very looked of hawaii about wanna route to just seventeen minutes and also announced the launch of the domestic oil. Revegitate adviser turns crude oil back into plant matter for houston smoothies salads and facial rubs and also makes your car both vegan and carbon positive. You do the math wrong. And since so this coin snafu here. In britain we have for you a bugle coin fact box. The first coin was the same size and shape as a woolly. Mammoth in fact. It was a willy. Mammoth that was bolted in exchange for a job. Lots of three d. flint arrowheads thus began international finance the origin of heads or tails Coin tossing dates back to roman times roman coins until the year. Two hundred and thirty six. Ad old feature the title of the emperor's favourite pets at which point emperor maximus tracks ended the practice of being bitten by an escaped squirrel with a provocatively bushy tile in a post coin world. The donahue kicks off in football matches or be decided by distance spitting competition whilst the coin toss in cricket matches will be replaced with a competitive poetry recital between the two captains. If british foreign secretary dominic robb would be commemorated in a coin it would involve a picture of a floundering man. Struggling in choppy waters behind a weeping ferry and a post coin world pub quiz machines will reward triumphant quizzes with the baby terrapins. Instead of coins and the largest denomination banknote ever issued was the one hundred. Couldn't tell ian pango notes issued when hungry when crazy after world war two based on the difference in size between the one pound coin the two pound coin. If a one hundred quinton pound coin was ever made. it would be thirteen. Light years across. I did do the maximum. I've done them wrong. But the twenty twenty cents. How we roll another car rate of progress Jeff bezos. we'll have commissioned that coined by the year. Twenty thirty one to say the crooked captains during a poetry. So we're here early this morning because of the poetry recital cheyrou a wanted lowly is is cloud boys it. Is it cloud oud thing going to be bold in this morning. So it's my favorite cricket is Shall i compare the two osama's died. Yes you look. Osama's dial-up in the crickets on an accounts are constant and its army hundred forty two three. Could you might a couple of eight danish painless news now. And we'll if the world battles in existential crises against the seemingly unstoppable enemies of the covid virus a mutant strain of democracy. That's infected the world and as the future shrinks struggles before us like a particularly reluctant slice of bacon shedding liquid. Leaving just a salty shriveled mess at the bottom of the pan. Denmark has found itself remains at disputing something meaningful the rights and wrongs of showing a children's tv cartoon about a man with a relive ridiculously long penis and his adventures. His p needs if you will With that penis including using his. Well i mean it's what about ten foot long. The pain is to protect local children against an attack of lions hari. You are Penises in culture at correspondent. I'm bring us up to date with this This string advance in the danish danish art. Let me first that. My lawyers are suing the creators of this tv show for stealing my life story family that the book had been published yet. Somehow it had leaked and all of it you know i. It's interesting because denmark has a really weird history with immigrants recently and there's been talk i don't know if they're actually doing it. But making the children of immigrants take danish courses to know how to be a proper dane to know the culture to assimilate properly. You know they have this high like sense of self and after hearing about this penis cartoon i think to myself a culture that could make this. Maybe not so great. Maybe could use other influences outside of themselves all you like. It was mr man who missed a well hung. that was. that was missed a tickle. It was very. Mr tickle is kind of very nineteen seventy s vibe really. Wasn't he missed. The mr massive penis massive pianist cottage boys said to the children of today to good. I'll go to spend five minutes clambering over your message to get to school. Thing is in this world where this man has this a penis. You're telling me that kids don't accidentally bumped into it or touch it and stuff so this show is full of children touching a man's penis. Well yeah but it's it's danish so i mean let's keep it in in in perspective you know what the you know. The dines stubborn apologize for the vikings did on the show so you we can't judge them by our own achy day. They're not ancient greeks. They're this is not acceptable. Could he do that. Law we call you bought into the reality of we go out and you call it employ site and roles of child abuse to someone who go penis this forty five miles long people again. Bump each week without you know they. Only if he hasn't ereck should mark has an rich flaccid it might be draped across the end. Forty everyone on the way to do bump each way this man. If he had any dignity would wrap it around his thigh. Absolutely absurd that this thing is coming out of his pants also. What kind of material stretches like that stretches. Feed specially modified struggling. So when you're constricted dram here he'd be in hughes's it for for social good. He uses it to etched murals to hoist flags and to perform rescue operations. This is this is a role model. Hurry for how we main should be using our wang's more productively for the good of society to to you know to etch murals um what wherever we possibly can. It's an interesting philosophy instead of maybe encouraging men to use their brains more this saying that we should use our penis more in a variety of different ways that often involve children. What the this is sick. What is this. No this is that okay. This is what i mean. They got universal healthcare. They've got all these things right. I guess they're allowed to have one terrible idea involving a man with a ten foot penis. I mean any countries allowed to but like get outta here. It's ridiculous on long mark. Ten feet flaccid means how much erect twenty feet. I mean he is he having sex with women and other like to think. I think it goes into just other other shows on other channels at the same time you turn around bugs. Bunny listen you realize oh. Wait a second. That's not a carrot. Could be used as it were. Yeah exactly. I mean it's it's It could be it could be used in these brexit. Pacers times he could. He could stretch his penis across the north sea to provide a physical bridge between britain and continental europe. Surely that i mean that's again go only over to l. players. Click spot for if he if he. Jackie lights on a monday. Does that mean. It comes out on tuesday or wednesday interesting swaps. The program know it's not it's not as one of the makers of the program so this is it's not not it's not sexual is just that a very very long wang. That's that's that's different isn't it. Is there will be a spinoff off about manny. Amenity does lot forty foot. Why she's i use it to attack demons coming to to all the people in the individ- i might be a waspish sata on the twenty first century so far anyway More from Danish penis cartoons over the next ten to twenty s exclusively on the bugle. That brings us to the end of Of this week this week show To places talking to you as always we'll be back next week Jets chart the final full week of the trump trump presidency. We will be recording the bugle on mondays for the next few weeks well I'm hosting the news radio for you can also download as a podcast Hurry any your politically reactive is back. Kearney's berkeley reactive new episodes every thursday. It's mean w. kamau bell figuring out how spending her last days together and also the podcast. I do with my brother. The brothers podcast. We we think of ourselves as seasonal and small batch and kind of a bit of a pop up meaning that we've released thirty one episodes in a decade so we don't know when they're gonna come through but you know they've been popping up of late so check that out as well any shows to tell our listeners about shows the get some the being canceled a name. Rian shouldering cancel regained. So if you look around the in general mostly eaters on book to do a show that will without any question be cancelled very very welcome boy ticket for that and never ever get to see the show you ticket. The value of those has gone up two hundred and seventy five percent in recent years. Some trading eight thousand pounds so essentially tickets to your non existent gigs worth more than bitcoin. Now much more. Bitcoin now Thank you listening. We will play you out with some lies about our premium level voluntary subscribers to join them and make a recurring or one off. Contribution to keep me beautiful flourishing an independent view polka dot com and. Click the donate button. France janka is not convinced that sphinxes the ancient egyptian lions stroke human stroke other animal and occasionally bird hybrid. Were all that with all. Due respect to the engine. Egyptian says france the sphinx is an absolute mess of a mythical creature. Anything with the body of a lion but without the head of a lion is pretty goddamn points if you ask me it will look with and be much less. Good at biting which to my mind is k. Peter coward agrees that a human with ahead of a lion with more worrisome than align with the head of a human opposable thumbs in a carnivorous slaughter bonds. No thank you box. Peter in justified concern. Scientists plans to create such a breed those jaws and the propensity to make operating trade high-tech weaponry that is a cocktail made in military industrial wildlife. Park complex evan an emphatic. Not in favor. Michael kemp pipes up with confirmation that a feline with a non feline head is not something sons should be aspiring to. I've taken it upon myself to make my cat. Which is like a micro line in so many ways where the head of a selection of muppets miss piggy and kermit. The frog included. None of those heads provided an uptick in his overall cat performance compared with his own cat add are therefore rightly assumed that switches would replicate that and finally jillian piper also points out that those varieties of sphinx with the wings of birds to answer that lauren's body and miscellaneous heads are quotes pretty impractical and in terms of bold physics likely to struggle to get off the ground. Then going to trouble a basic domestic bird table let alone sort of the skies before swooping down like a vision of unquenchable vengeance if that is indeed. What motivates things. Get out of bed in the mornings and thalys goodbye.

america zoltin Hari kondabolu mike diabate Bugle co president trump georgia raphael warnock kelly leffler David purdue apple berry capital franklin d roosevelt harry gavin williamson President james buchanan England wells
4161 - Corruption, Covid and Cricket

The Bugle

45:13 min | 1 year ago

4161 - Corruption, Covid and Cricket

"Bugle. Audio newspaper for Visual World Hollow Bugler, and welcome to issue four, thousand, one, hundred, and sixty. One of the Bugle audio newspaper for a visual welded is Monday the third of August where according on a Monday who knew Mondays even existed of we're doing last week's news like. Tonight around Altman and I'm in London the city very badly nine view onto a void where you live fitting nicely into two word policies involving the word lockdown I'm recording live as always now in the shed and a little into cricket gap in my reality, avoiding schedule and joining me from the west coast of the US is the soon to be father who will very imminently have a whole new person to explain this planet. So Good Luck with that too Hari. Kondabolu. I chose the best time to have a kid. There is no better time that now during a pandemic in court with your northern you or the show would be allowed out for twenty five years. Growing. twenty-five. The travelers site. What did it used to be like? Was it true about the trees that? would. Cloud look like Daddy. Well also joining us from a smaller distance as you've already heard smaller this depending on which way you go. Of course, it's it's Mark Still Hello Hello Balk. How How's? Your lockdown being. What it? The worst thing these people go. Oh, it's mall. That's absolutely wonderful time. Morning. All morning in a pottery class talk then I was loading flamenco on WHATSAPP. Seventeen cost bill with my friends from Guatemala. On facetime and. Doria some wonderful and I just. Made Up, we've recreated every series of doctor who using and sanitizer. Wonderful. Like. Just, get from it, but it's shares I? Don't mean to be not. True. That you. Do that. Joy. In Judea slowing. There's a new virus is everybody gets set fire to Oh, I'm just embracing it. Flames up my arse. I never would reckoning. Joy Them so Wonderful Role my Linda Shaw. Just. Get on with it. Out with. Joy. That you could have stated before if you'd want aid thing to. Voice of Sanity in this conflict. Yes. So hurry what will. Your personal, your personal debate. Cute. Yeah. Yeah. Less less than we're talking about less than three weeks until I will officially be done with comedy and most other aspects of my life. I don't want to come back in twenty years like everything else. That's that's great because because you know stand up careers tend to work that way like it's best if you stay out of the spotlight for a couple of decades and. Locate where I am today by looking for the spotlight. No music. So things things are great though I'm very happy. Well well, good luck. Good enjoys the wrong. The wrong word for. Anyway we are recording on the third of August on die in the fourteen, ninety, two Christopher Columbus set sail from spine all his first trip to the Americas, what the fuck were you thinking an where were the compulsory stations when this planet really needed them on this day in fifteen twenty seven the first known letter was sent from the Americas to Britain by John Rot who had landed in Saint John's Newfoundland Canada. The letter included the line man they get cranky when I asked if they were American as well as some. Confusion about the rules of Ice Hockey and on this day in nineteen, forty six, the world's first themed Amusement Park opened Santa Claus land in the town of Santa Claus. Indiana was opened in a fit of postwar Christmas Innis It's now known as holiday world and splashing safari the PC brigade stealing Christmas again, and making a splash around in law and infested swimming pools. Just in case anyone who's aren't he was eaten by a shark in a line outfit. One Christmas gets offended by people swimming without being attacked by big Cap Typical The The the theme park has broadened its theme each from its original Santa Claus Land incarnation offer a new ride in the nine hundred ninety s manger mayhem prompted multiple complaints due to its quotes graphically realistic depiction of childbirth and obviously fake and occasionally foul archangels the the village of Santa Claus Indiana. Have you ever been there in your travels around the America's Santa Claus. INDIANA. No I've a feeling if I went to. Something that deepen Indiana, you wouldn't be speaking to me writing. It was named after Well Santa Claus, the Proto hipster consumer communist, and workplace health and safety skeptic it's the only municipality in the world where it is legal to break into peoples, houses provided that you do so via the chimney and also interestingly enough at. The Christmas cracker was invented in eighteen seventy five during a pistol shootout in a saloon between two elephant person notice squabbling over a toilet roll. So, that a Christmas cracker is another nickname, for Santa, Claus. How Did you have other no because obviously, we have very different Christmas traditions young on opposite sides of the Atlantic, and in in my family was we we just sits around saying it's it's all a fraud and. He he stole market share. But. He's the cracker. The is that a is part of American Christmas? Tradition. I should tell you Andy I might not be the right one to ask. Give. Letting America for war. I had never heard of the Christmas cracker until I came to the UK and Yeah. Christmas crackers. Unless, it's just not a thing I've been exposed to get my Christmas was made up of a plastic Christmas tree. A few presence and no knowledge of the Bible whatsoever. So. I'm GONNA GUESS IF. Enough things going bang. In. America without Often with different different gun laws, you end up with a without Christmas crackers. Christmas crackers is is what we call a gun violence. Around the Lord's birthday. Taito. Patel time. As always a section of the buglers going straight in the Ben and this week with rumors that the coming in Britain is GONNA lock down over fifty. sorry mark it turns out you are entirely obsolete as a human being. Tool for our elder buglers to those over the age of fifty to make you like your younger than you are special section. Ed with tips for how to sound like you're like ten or. Twenty. Years like not was luck old as you let luck with Li- like like like like like be. Also Voice de Gravel which can make me sound like this. Burden. Of. Having a few teething troubles with that, and also to help you sound younger and optimism MRT to help turn phrases such as these things never turn out well into the Conifer as a younger person might still use hope translated into I'm sure everything will be fine all the phrase we need to learn the lessons of and the lessons of history. Tell us that will definitely get up into the younger this time this time. Or the phrase everything we know and love is disintegrating before our very eyes into the hopeful youthful price that will definitely be a vaccine soon about section in the been. Off. Some from the cancer come round. Like. Twenty three and shit you're. GonNa stay rebound. Fair, you get me from. Time to do that. You don't now when he was about sixty needed. A couple of Cloyd and shit. About fifty yards from south Norwood, pouting likes. Lion, when is no window and Shit you get farmland? They're Communist. He's like you can't go out and top nothing across the League Shit. So I'm story this week, the American election is off. Potentially, in the minds of president. Donald. Trump. Ego The year once again in Megalomania monthly magazine The New York Times's round with the headline this week Donald Trump does not like what he sees in his crystal ball as to because what he sees his crystal ball history slapping him in the face with a frozen Turkey of despair. Hurry as correspondent for the slow disintegration of America is credible nation How how do you respond to the the You know trump's latest suggestions that the election could be delayed in the postal voting threatens the very core of your nation. Well, let me first respond to the phrase frozen turn of despair. Because that implies there are happy thirds. That are filled with joy. I. Mean Most are unfrozen but I'm going to question that particular race. But Yeah I think. I'm in the opinion that pushing the election. would be a good thing. Right? Most people in his party. Disagree. Democrats obviously disagree for let me let me bring up to major points know if you push the election later, it means there be more public trump rallies during covid, which would kill off some of his voting block. Right. That's useful. Secondly, this I think to me is the more important point. The longer trump is in office. which implies a covert will continue to be bad. It's more likely that rent in New York City will keep going down since fewer people will move there allowing a young father. Perhaps afford a second bedroom perhaps a third bedroom. Prices not seed in New York since the late Seventies. Eighteenth Seventeenth nineteen seventy. Eight hundred seven. I mean I I mean, look. It clearly uh. I. Think he's trying to push the election which she can't even do by the way. That's not even he. He actually has no constitutional power to do that. You needed an amendment to be able to. Change US and approval of two houses of Congress. So apparently might be surprising, but he just made it up. Apparently, that's not a thing. It's almost as if keys a giant liar who knows nothing about American democracy in one, the twenty sixteen election as a result of racism. And uneducated American Populus and potentially tampering from Russia it almost just like that. It just makes me worry I think because it seems I mean first of all, let me just say that he's trying to avoid jail the longer he can keep himself in office the longer all these cases that are open will like get resolved and he can stay out of jail I think that's kind of. Possibility. I think. So I think he actually manages to do one of his career at one of his promises, Hillary Clinton giant, and then he gets. himself. By a Sitcom. I feel like. The press is wondering whether it's going to be a peaceful transition, and now they're worried that if if trump is trying to push the election even if that's no possibility, it's kind of a hint that there won't be a peaceful handing over of of powers and no, it won't be peaceful. What gives you any indication that he will handle losing well. Doesn't handle winning well. He's been asking to lock up Hillary. Clinton for four years. She lost the election. This is going to be as shit show. Jimmy Carter is going to have to monitor elections in America. And that's he's expressed great concern about the potential for postal vote fraud. I guess is understandable as point of view when a pandemic religion, your country largely due to your own flamboyantly incompetent leadership. When you'll national economy is crumbling depressed cliff on a particularly rough ocean coastline when you're sending in troops against your own people when you're busy saying I wish her well about a rich white woman chartreuse horrific sex trafficking offenses whose evaded justice for over a year in some stark contrast with what you said about. For example, less rich less white people proved innocent of crimes they had not committee. I guess when you're doing all those things, you probably think, well, we have a few hundred ballots spoiling the on soluble purity of our democratic process. You've got to start with the things that you can. You can least control. Well, the thing is, where does The amount of why are you on this? But just the things. I've seen happened even in the elections over the last couple of years the suppression of vote is extraordinarily that that one. Georgia. percent of the polling stations closed were all in the poorer areas. With with a guy that was one good thing about this. Of course, it encourage the poor to get out more in the way that happened and it might be a good thing to have the. After. Polling stations relocated to places lot the top of the towns Mahal and the had been colloids. Get out rather than being stuck in their on shitty little. Elsie. A. Things. Hundreds of thousands of people I can the. Because name doesn't fit exactly what's on the card and then called the bureaucracy half will be roll. Well, this hallway for there was loads because there was a holly fan that was missing something like that. Sorry Sir you can't vote there's a hyphen and and then they just said. Hundreds of thousands of people. So if he's still looms, he's after he fiddled that. I mean. So time didn't. Fit Elections and they'd still managed to lose didn't. Incompetent. And they're there I mean there's billions of people not allowed to vote in the American election who should be allowed to, and that is the entire population of the rest of the world who really must be allowed to say. Affects US deeply. New Americans your to close to. Sixty everyone the might vote and stuff like that. I feel that? Obama talked about the end of voter suppression. And he he called for a few steps to kind of improve because even if you take out the like making it impossible to vote or like making the hours neighborhoods like end earlier or the whole number of other things ide- laws even like the basics of voting in this country are are meant to suppress right? Like we don't have automatic voter registration, right? That's something that he calls for that would make things significantly as opposed to to filling out paperwork. To get a car to fill out. More paperwork. Do because it's it's not like you have to fill out a registration to like speak and practice your religion or anything else. By gummed unit. By on the Road so much easier to. A. o-obama thinks ex-convicts should get their vote back because they serve their time. So why are they being suppressed? There should be new polling stations and early voting because apparently voting only over the course of one Tuesday, every four years might not be the best way to. Preserve Democracy. And also he's just a national holiday in election day making it easier to vote because apparently, if you do have a job and you only have a few hours early in the day or the end of the day, you might not bother with voting and that sets up my point, which is it's almost like these things reporting in place to make her to vote in general. And giving people with schedules that allow for such inconvenience. The best opportunity to vote thus elderly people are essentially taking us with them. That is what is happening. People who have no idea what is happening today or what the current issues of the moment are. Are Voting on the future. As they have in power. Don't you think it's toy that you vote aid according to your phone was weighted according to the amount of time that you've got left to live shows. Oh God. Yes. Sure. If you're given the if you're ninety three warriors, mind Mabus Five, go vote there is going to affect things that up that's just. Did she ever That was. Di Di of? Thirty. Four What? You call it Chauncey. Bobby. The road -centia talking about maybe. To site while. Queuing actually. Ability Scooter. Editor is one of one of our contributors to voluntary subscription scheme actually. So for the rest of you want to join our Goto, the BUGLE PODCAST DOT COM and click the donate button. Shouldn't boy to just go away shouldn't eat if he wants to we. Yes sure. Wii Software Leher really remote Paul a voice slammed. Yes, and then come back the day after the election. Oh, this is a complete rope, a dope situation. It's best for. Him Not to do anything, let trump punch himself out and right the very end. Make a few comments remind people to vote and just take it home i. think it's pretty straightforward. Show by Iceland though mark because I'm basically saying, he should he should hide in solder volcano before taking over the world I think. The optics of that and the traditional don't you? Somewhere. COVID news now and Well, it's turns out still still going strong. I'd slight forgotten about that. Well, spending three weeks face down in the gloriously soothing balm of cricket. Horry House Aska going in America. Well, it's going bad because there's still an issue with people believing that masks work. I. You know. Luckily I think people are starting to believe that handwashing is effective. Maybe. Perhaps studying what happened with the black plague so many years ago. But it doesn't help that a video was released this week with a bunch of doctors in front of the Supreme Court. Claiming that you don't need mass and that Hydrochloric Quinn works and it spread like wildfire on the Internet millions of US and it was it was fraudulent. Now I realize it was tricky right? Because these doctors the so-called doctors were wearing lab coats, right? Coat lab coats are extremely hard to find you know unless you were a doctor or scientist or. An owner of a medical supply shop or costume shop or thrift store had access to any of these stores or knew anybody who worked at a hospital or lab or any of these aforementioned shops, and so you're crooked and by them as well yes. Yes. Yes. But that's when it comes. Curricula Poise. Mad of all the things wearing a mask is communism that. Knows call box it said it is imperative that the proletariat rise up and take the means of production the from from those from the bourgeoisie the death of press the death oppress us in order that they can wear mosques. The artist I think Britain and America restore COMPI neck and neck to be the most stupid country ever. They know out any part. Of Antilles. Kenny president trump is really listen to every day. He gets up at that thing. Same. I found a cure. It's a pineapple up the ass it's a fantastic. Every. And so. People don't really take any anymore do they. Know there be people who would sit on a pineapple. I would definitely be videos right now being passed around. People sitting pineapples claiming the cures that would. Be The most into one east come up with with it. It's so hard to get pulse bleaching the lungs. Right like. It's a strange way to address pineapple but it. Won't kill you immediately. In fact, you might even like. Distract you from feeling ill. released. This video follows another video called a plan Democ, a witch claim that underground deletes were using the pandemic to make profit. and. To gain increasing power and the video was created by Andy's Oltman. So good call the video plan DEMOC. Well you're GonNa do what you gotTa. Do. To. Pump. Hey, it's just incompetence are thinking of rivals. The the Magnuson nobody knows the rules now absolutely no. When there's a roar now you count visit relatives in your house unless you can do is turn your house into a POB and Short everyone who comes ran knowing pounds for a vote of Chili and then they all rely on because it's exciting for to do that in front of a lot of random stranger, a coffee speed than. Our. No one else close. The rules now, they're knocking nineteen seventies game show from Britain, and they should have float with Greenspan leaking. So here we through quite simple. There are six people in your bubble at all times you must stay together unless they're a funny people in an alternative populate. Inside. The kitchen unless they're also get you, you're not traveling as you're going to work on your outside in which case you must inside at all times. While you're drinking is Lord you pour the beer over your lap and if you. Went where you can share on. Test case, you break all the rules of the next thirty acres the first decline of to the self-isolation Uday Corona volumes with this novelist counting noise all you hadn't supply. No one is. King. Clue. These room was right. All these rules that were intrigued with Manchester it was putting a new lockdown. The healthy secretary announced them at nine o'clock at night on twitter. WHO's if you WANNA get across a major new policy in order to prevent everyone from dying. Who doesn't follow twitter at nine o'clock annoy by particular regard to the Health Secretary and the detached. The. Next time, we are going to announce a policy at five thirty in the morning during farming today. Language invented by a person in a secure institution. Just. Okay. Coaching not doing I secretly want to do it early music. They don't know they just useless. Johnson. Stood a month ago Basques are. Without useless they a doctor you can wear them if you must but don't put them in your era away ever announced. Now you mustn't no wonder nobody, but it's in the shortwave and I'm the only. Way. Ramon. You. Go for everybody everybody else. To. Doi. That discount saying. Finally. On this yes. We the poor dinosaurs they just bad luck. This. Would stegosaurus it'd be going if this. King he heated from the asteroid. Moore. Asteroid. You'll have the asteroid. Mark. Speaking my language. Yeah Well scientists in Britain have criticized the British government squad shroud of secrecy. Shrouded you use generally shrouds pretty executive Also, we need just the guys very cynical about this, but we need to stop the virus knowing what we're planning. So we have to kind confuse the discourse we didn't add dropped leaflets over Germany in nineteen, forty four saying if you beach holiday and Normandy this July we know we. Did Not. Bio Tapestry embroidered as potentially legal tactics board. Before the Battle of hastings you've always got to do your opponent would least want you to do and viruses height uncertainty exhibit A. Werner Heisenberg, the physics liberty and quantum mechanic inventor of Heisenberg uncertainty principle did not die of virus so you can read into that. What you will not thing from the scientific world professor, Graham Medley Chairman of the Scientific Advisory Group for emergencies they sage committee who've been. Advising the the government through this crisis has suggested that schools are going to reopen in. September we may have to close. PUBS. So I mean, which is more important to a functioning society pubs or schools very much depends who you ask way you ask them whether their children are listening whilst they answer how much they've had to drink before you ask them whether they are an elected politician keenly aware that gets cannot vote but wasted booze hounds have just chucked another ten quiz machine off the failing to correctly guessed the capital of Portugal again, definitely can vote. Important questions to us with this I well does the scientists know about Bob's that squares being snapped down in the Lombardy for the last thirty years while the rest of us have been out in the real world living actual life inside a pub with people basically exactly like us and be why would a scientist want the school's back open? Anyway, the more kids get educated the more competition. There is the circuit, the mall threat to profess sneeze. Number telling us we're. All. GonNa die. No under is floating the idea that pubs more after close knowing full well, that Britain will be literally up in arms about the pubs that we fought two world wars for being close to a piece, the PC brigade who want children to grow up with hope knowledge and expectation even though history shows all three of those things will be crushed out to them by the unstoppable steamroller of inevitability. Why don't you just do schooling in the pups? Feels it feels like from what I hear. You all start drinking at what seven or eight anyway, right? Yeah. This is true right. So when my son was. There was a pop, the LAVIOLA, poppy crystal. Palace's sadly been done out and the rubbish has been cleared out the corner and stuff now. Charm but it was Dottie pob winning they with my and my son who was eleven and he sat in the corner and as a junk after we'd had drink each and it was talking to get another one more friends said going in here. Gordon yet you get around the. Joke and Elliott go up north what he was going to the toilet and he come back here two point two guineas. You told us to get around in. Eleven. was good practical education. It. It gives him the life skills of being a British citizen which shows that you know for the right price you get anything. Own on which subjects A, new round of peerages has been announced people to sit in the House of Lords. Britain's second chamber. now it's It's evolved the House of Lords Britain thankfully grew up as a democratic end entity around the end of the twentieth century and largely abolished stopping the Second Chamber through hereditary peerages aren't giving people power based on who their father's instead instead, we met a quantum leap forward to assist them where the government can stop the second chamber foot of cronies and make. People call them silly little toddler the feudal relic lick. SPITTLE governors we've always dreamed of being. So the latest round of democracy but pages, the prime minister has appointed to the House of Lords a his own brother be a Russian media tycoon Afghani collaborative. Now that is one mogul who will not prove to be a bumpy obstacle as little Queenie freestyle getting fans out there assaulted political lackeys. And, this is the exciting bit Mark Cricket Legend Ian Botham. Now. For our Non Creek listeners and I'm in a hurry. I'm I'm including you identify you horror aware of Ian Botham. No I have not no. I mean. This is a tragedy that you Americans have to bear and he he was when he was one of the defining figures of my my child one of the greatest cricketers. England's how would you sum Ian Botham for for our American listeners. month. Well as a player he was. Connie supplier, but he was just by sheer personality. So extraordinary someone that you get in sport manages to transcend space and becomes a figure just. So full of life and optimism that everybody finds him just magnetic and these. One almost entire series not quite he's on. It was just an amazing player and he must be very very difficult to find anyone else who has been so brilliant in the first of their life and then so shit in the second. Is Over. Overseas if. Zik New, and after discovered gravity then a job shoving forward dolphins. Just. Happened to him and he was quite a rebel in his own soul of why was. He was joined the toy when he was this Kony tallies money great English sporting figure all sports not just cricket mean. People. He was just so so extraordinary and. He was. Suspended at one point four. Supposedly Smoking Dump and every one of the few cricketers didn't go employees in apartheid South Africa because. Two of his closest friends were west Indian cricket. He said they wouldn't be lacunae. So we was such a such a brilliant vigorous obgyn. This well, exactly what was it? You just said Lick spittle feudal really were everyone's either of those things are now because he was a big brexit. That's his reason for being unless Boris Johnson is belatedly awarding appear on account of the fact that you're forty nine air in a match-winning innings in one thousand, nine, hundred, one. Man Is it is possible I. Think you was truly phenomenal cricketer and if he proved to be as good legislation. As Yeah. In the early legislative careers, he was good at fast medium swing bowling devastating middle or counterattacking batsmanship and suit or not super naturally reflex slip-catching in the earliest of his cricket career will then all of Britain's political problems will be solved within about night. However if he approves if he preached with the parliamentary of late period both in the curriculum selected purely on his name without any justification. Tag Another is exactly what the house is about the only way. As, right a phenomenal my money for for for for charity through millions and millions of pounds and also took thirteen wickets in the Mumbai Julie Test of one, thousand, nine hundred, and the course of which he also scored a century and a matching which no other batsman reached fifty but does that qualify him to scrutinize legislation? Other sports news now, and sport has yet again been rocked by a scandal, the Barcelona twenty, twenty rice apparently the self-styled towards France of international pigeon racing has been well, I? Mean it's it's been rocked hurry eleven. Birds have been found dead after suspected. Poisoning the racers is a thrilling race between fifteen thousand pigeons over a thousand kilometers across the Pyrenees. with A. Huge, prize fun in the celebrity winners often gather scatter pigeon stood for cost of You know two hundred, thousand euros. Hump as many other pages, they can possibly manage. I mean it's This is probably the biggest the biggest scandal in the history of all bird related sport absolutely at at most people did not know that pigeon racing existed until this article came out. So is certainly the biggest news Roy WHOA WHOA WHOA you are pigeon racing correspondent. You've been a devotee of the sport from since since since childhood, can you explain some of the tactics involved in getting into to Rice one, thousand, sixty, two kilometers across the European mountain range. You let them go and they don't really know what's happening. And they just keep going and. The people below or like aw they just hit the first mark but the pigeons happening at that their marks they just think they're flying to freedom but in fact, their race and they had no clue. So. If. It was with wasps. It will be very hard to keep going in this. Direction I guess maybe there is wasp writing. On pen somewhere in the world and there is. An abates on skype sports knowing somewhere. Hey. This is. BIG FREDDIE COMING MEMPHIS THIRD REACH Let's look at the stats big Fred. With a three one buzz ratio what a forty nine understanding. I mean eleven like the French. Pigeon racing. I guess they're called the French pigeons fanciers club. which by the way is like the NASCAR pigeons or depending on who you are the Nambla of pigeons. Basically. Are Pulling out all their birds eleven died. Eleven just eleven with some would call an overreaction. Others would call it a major overreaction and others would say who gives a shit about pigeon racing? JUNE'S CARE Pigeons love it. I still think the presidents have no idea what's going on. I. Mean the President of the of the French. Pigeon fanciers, club Filippo. Shocking that he was willing to give his name for the article. He said that the people who killed these pigeons. Were were vultures. not seeing the humor in naming another type of bird or the real possibility that it could have been vultures. Laura just wrapped up what brings us to the end of this week. So bugle mark Thanks so much for for joining us. Only online shows or anything to alert our listeners to nothing. Until the thousand fifty one. which we will be covering live on the bugle. And Howery will I will sit next time we speak you will be you you will. You will be apparent. Yes. We will definitely be speaking again. Yes, We'll see and you have really doing what's going to happen I. Just at this point, the idea of podcasting well holding a child seems highly unlikely but I could give it a go of you want. One. One Actually sounds like a good title for a Free Podcast podcasting whilst holding a child. will be in fact, almost every sentence that anyone these days probably already or soon to be the title of a podcast I'm thanks Do, you have any any any things you'd like to tell Tillerson's about sure my Netflix special warrior. Relatives is still available obviously also, I'm in the net flicks documentary spelling the dream and. My documentary, the problem with APU is available on HBO MACs idea. If you can find that in the UK and I think you should illegally download it if. I get no more money out of this. well, thanks the. Great great having you on as always, and in case you didn't hear our micro sub episodes last Friday, buglers, Bugle merch lives again, just What are we now t twelve voice thirty, thirty years into the existence of the bugle. Our second line of Merch has a has now. Come out. Shortly to be followed by a third line or at least the rest of the second line so far you can choose between well, anything. That is a Teasha or pair of socks. And Christmas, you can preorder the Christmas jumper. As well is very much the retail event of the year I mean that's actually probably closer to truth and ideally would have been the case. But anyway, there is merch available go to the website and click the merch link and there will be field delegation stroke disgust. Thank you very much for listening. I'll be back on the cricket. If you orange thing for on Wednesday this week for the first England Pakistan tests will have some really aggressively obscure statistics for cricket fans out. Thanks for listening, we'll be back next we'll be recording and releasing early in the week for the next for the next few weeks, and we'll play out this week with some lies about premium level volunteer subscribers to join them go the Bugle podcast dot com, and click the donate. Simon Saladin does not think equinoxes are all that special seriously says Simon who gives a flying one if the night is the same length is the day is not as if you're going to get twelve hour sleep and twelve hours of pure unadulterated partying is that just another couple of bullshit dice concocted by the greetings card industry to shift overpriced bits of paper with some primary school level poems about equal length days and nights on equinoxes a rubbish Simon. James got cell except Simon's points and express his regret. The true meaning of equinoxes has been overtaken by commercial considerations. However, he urges Simon not to be entirely negative about them. Equinox is a lovely word to say equinox go on continues James Try. Yourself Equinox what a great mouth fail from three syllables, equinox? Oh. Yeah. He says actually that does make me want to spend half of an entire day in bed. Soren Andersen does not see the need for fake Pineapples Real Pineapples Owen enough as it is states fruit aficionado sarin. So if you think you need to create a fake version of it art, suggest you have deeper problems regarding accepting natural world for what it is not what you wanted to be Soren has no trouble however with fake cantaloupes I'm not eating them for reasons that are no one's business but my own so frankly I don't care if they're made of actual Mellon. Awesome. Oddly. Realistic Resin. Alison Dimitar. Gap in the market for a restaurant cum museum in which you can eat all the artifacts which would be edible replicas of significant objects from around the world and indeed Universe Allison has in fact just teamed up with celebrity chef split in Malvern an provisionally titled Museum Will Offer Dishes such as a partner at Parthenon and an Egyptian soccer juice of the. Fruit and Karma Rory Guy is right on board with US and sees multiple franchising possibilities. If successful speculatory, we could follow the museum with the aquarium where you will be able to study the biology behavior physiology and life cycle of aquatic creatures before ending that life cycle by aiding them educational and nutritious albeit potentially disappointing if you have a light booking notes, rory. And Finally Call Nestor has also fully bought into this strategy of expansion although his plans for a third branch in the franchise the sanitarium have I'm hearing right now just been quietly shelved. I'm just not sure it's the right time admits call, but he insists the planetarium could be sensational said net to states in Jupiter Brad yes please he admits that the uranium might be a tough sell. We probably will have to call it sweet rental something concedes call. Here ends this week's lies.

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4162 - Bond, Boris and Boats

The Bugle

48:53 min | 1 year ago

4162 - Bond, Boris and Boats

"Buglers is producer Chris. I also do a podcast it's called Richie firth travel hacker, and involves people thinking about doing things that they could do when they could travel and other things like that. It's a sex plane eunice. Oh Ober. Features cameos from the likes of Andy. Who knows when if ever aeroplanes will fly again analysis? No reason just Guy Recently. Just. To it. Bugle audio newspaper for Visual World. Hollow. Buglers and welcomes all Ceara. Miss taught that potato issue four, thousand, one, hundred, and twenty six. Dep. Beluga, I'm eleven to place tonight Shimon didn't have. Zoo. Xuechong corrupt onto dobie settling areas it is Tuesday the eleventh of August two thousand hundred. Armando results men star of the stage nor screen reporting to you live from the shed where let me tell you it is hot. It is hot is hot in London and it's hot in the shed which catches a lot of is his as the planet Venus inherit but not as holy admittedly. Easily the sexiest planet famous decided plenty of love which songs proves his lethally toxic impossible to live with regions of that, what you will that dating industry joining me. for Mumbai. India where account possibly be as hot as it is in London. Powell. On. What's the temperature check from Bloomberg? Well. It is cooler than London. Wetter than London, we're in the. Middle of the mountains which raises the. Important Question Andy. Would you rather he sweating or drowning? Don't might me shoes? And from the road in Brixton AIDS H. Moment how is Brixton Convent's stretch a little? Further North Dakota. System on wheel chilliest Shit now King Hall. King Haw. Over the weekend Cardi B. and Meghan the stallion released a song called whereas Percy and a lot of people have assumed that has to do with sexual arousal I. think that Song is about it being fucking hall in London. This is a city of whereas pussies and soggy sticks and let me tell you those aside s a de. Well, I didn't really understand any of that. You're huge of making the stallion love making the stallions no no no. Not Not Really. Andy. How are you handling? Finan cricket fans you'll currently in the peronism that connects the anus of the previous tax test with the ball sack of the next has march. How are you handling being in this? Land of cricket. Well, it's that kind of language that explains why on test match special on your nomination. How closely floated while career, but there may be other reasons why bill? We. Just, just to to cut back to what niche asked you then Yep yes. Why why did you not refer to it as a member of test match special as the Gooch Think. It's time to move all. Show take the name of Graham. Gooch invites. We are in between the first England Pakistan test, which was an absolute classic one in dramatic circumstances Blaine guy boy up by England's. And again, I mean generally will England like to the start of a of a series is let the other team win in a sort of indirect apology for some of the excesses of. which is as close as we'll ever GONNA get to an apology but they polled. Day They Heimlich victory for the softness of of defeat in dramatic circumstances and Now, the hero was a chap called. Chris. Walks who's a and England cricketer does not generally particularly high profile and auditing. I've ever heard in the years I've been following cricket I've never heard anyone say anything even remotely negative about Chris Walks I. think he might be the nicest man in the history of sports to the extent where those essential which I think almost like slightly guilty for having made. Me Lose. And collective triumph. Him. But yes, on when back to cricket land to more for the game on on Thursday. So time you listen to this bugles OPB in a more comfortable situation than sweltering in my sheds a will be invalid. Once, again in the comforting bosom of. The eleventh of August Twenty Twenty which is the anniversary of just under a quarter of one percent of all the events that have ever happened in history. which is lower than the average day due to summer holidays and things but still often influential day of the year, not least of course, in one, thousand, twenty, nine when Babe Ruth became the first baseball or to hit five hundred home runs not all in one day should be set. of events that have happened on the eleventh of August, they have an ICQ rating. It's a historical consequence question of only fifty three point six one that's one point eight four percents less influential than the average day in the year and not point four seven percent lower than even the average day in August according to statistics just might up. So you might be asking what is the point in US recording a bugler pointless daylight the length of August of absolutely no idea as always section of the bugler going straight into Ben this week best bond were phone section here now. A recent poll showed that Sean. Connery is viewed as the best James Bond of all time the greatest of all time in modern parlance that phrase generous to something that's existed for anything from five. To thirty years. Longer than a case of bond but only seven people have played James Bond, which is way few mathematically than the people who have not paid James Bond. So I, think we're we're missing out on a lot of talent human that connery's the best possible bond of all time. So to disarm once and for all on the Bugle, we're going to have a competition to find out who would have been the best bond out of all the people in history who have not played James, bond NFL or even a local amateur dramatic Christmas production of James. Bond and the beanstalk over the next one, hundred twenty, seven bugle episodes. We will be giving you the public the chance to vote on your favorite bond who never played bond from all the people who have ever lived in a series of head to head knock asking Countess. We've chosen few shortlist of one, hundred, twenty, eight possible bonds. You simply have the vote each week on which one you think would have been the better bond and sometime late in two, thousand, twenty, two or twenty, twenty three. We will then have a final climactic showdown between the winner. Of our best bond out of all the non bonds competition with. shown connery find out the real best bonds ever are, and for our first first round clash and what a mouth-watering prospect. This is who would have been the better bombed out of Marcus. Aurelius? Oh Jesus. Christ. candidate one emperor mark. So really as well. He was known for his short pithy statements very much like bond collided in or releases excelling stoicism blockbuster Meditations Imani joke them up a bit and make them a little source yet fit in bonded the Orioles of course, all action hero who lucked bond was prepared to slam as from around the world to achieve his goals K. bond character trait. But would it be in a better or worse James Bond Than Jesus Christ renounce messiah who pulled off incredible stunts like bond that was A. Fan of gadget such as the donkey, the fish divider and the invisible jet ski. Sandal and was also a big hit with the ladies Also, he was able to escape bond like from the tightest of scrapes such as King Herod, Tonic Kill, fastball, and children, and being dead in the tomb classic bond also spoke with a lovely Clare British accent according to the Bible another key bond attribute. So send us your vote for Best Bond Aurelius or Christ to the usual address, and we will have another sixty three first round clashes. Over the next I don't know fourteen months or so also in the Ben new number puzzle has Laura in which you have to guess which number between one and ten thousand fits into this gap. Good. Luck with that. Now, Andy, I have a pedantic contestant contested question. Is there any advantage if your name is James Bond and work in? For example. I don't know someone presumably has done some kind of doctoral thesis piece of research into this given the. People have done doctoral thesis pages research into pretty much everything in the universe. So yeah. I mean just the the nominative determinism of bond do not have control samples of people who are called James Bond before James Bond became James Bond Film Mickley if that makes sense in workout whether the James Bond have been more or less dynamic and successful since the film franchise began. and. Then anything that helps us stop thinking about reality. I'm just waiting for the big crunch match, Idris, Elba versus John Arc. Sob Story this week world's end turmoil. Well, the world is having a bit of a rookie year and he needs to be even a virus Fanta acknowledge that shells a collapsing all over the place and there is there were protests. All around the world have been huge protests in Lebanon. The entire government has resigned protests and Bellarusse Bolivia Thailand Siberia Hong Kong. All over the world of Fox has stolen one hundred shoes in Berlin as if humanity wasn't suffering enough and but perhaps the biggest piece of turmoil and this year old global turmoil correspondents. Goes. as you you leave a trail of turmoil. I love observing I love causing. Our I mean, what would you say is the the biggest bit of turmoil facing the world this week well, this huge amount of turmoil. Everywhere, and I mean Belarus is not faring particularly well, the main challenger to Alexander Lukashenko, who's The lady called Svetlana ticking off skier and I apologize for mispronouncing both of those names. Actually I only apologized for her name because he's without wishing to give too much away seems like a total. She's refusing to accept that the result of the election because he claims. Eighty percent of the vote eighty percent that's a big slice of and you might be thinking well, maybe maybe he did win that much but you might be thinking Oh maybe he did win by that much. But on the other hand, a thirty people have been arrested in the capital a witness say they saw police officers with truncheons, beating protesters, and an polish-based broadcaster has said that the Internet is mostly unavailable and nothing says I have won fair and square like beating up protesters and turning off the. Nothing screams. This was a fair fight like that. That's basically saying, of course I'm not a dictator. All I've done is look at my opponents and festoon the town square with pictures of myself. Correctness gone killer man not even randomly arrest people. He doesn't like the look of an have them killed whilst at the same time insisting on his picture being in all post offices without being called a dictator. This is canceled Culture Gone Mad. Another slight clutter, his style of leadership is well, just the very fact that that ticket off sky was his main rival. She's now fled to Lithuania for the safety of of her children but she had only taken over as Lukashenko's main challenger after her husband was sent to jail and two other contenders of also been barter. The mere fact that she ended up running against him was only really because he well, let's look at his leadership style. He wears his leadership style unashamedly Bushley under his nose I mean there's no way a mustache like that can be an accident you would say at least post nineteen, thirty, eight, ish. Not particularly in Danish. Chaotic democracy. I would just like to read out today's Times of India headline as it relates to Belarus. says. MISFIT Lana says I consider myself the winner of this election after which we promptly fled the country. Surprise Headline in India, it happens often. Another signal list. Lukashenko's. Style of leadership is the fact that his secret service is still cold the KGB now now that is. That is the WHO isn't I about using a historically tainted brand if it if it suits him few more details on the man, he's been in power for twenty six years. Coincidentally the exact same amount of time that's passed since nineteen, ninety four when by coincidence, the nine hundred, ninety, four World Cup again ironically, actually three days before looker Shaneco took the reins of the electro donkey of executive power in Belarus in the aftermath of the you the and the are of USSR, flying off in different directions also three days. After Oj Simpson's low speed car chase you does make you wonder if Lukashenko know something in his use that power to maintain his grip on the handlebars of power on the Kawasaki Three Fifty. There is high Belarusian office, which look of course, answer on the very day Brazil, beat Russia to new with goals from Romario and Captain Roy who of course, would end the tournament sitting on the bench watching Donga having taken over the Captain Matt Lifting the famous trophy no wonder. It took the world to notice that Lukashenko entirely at. A good in the grand scheme of things I'm. I mean if you're looking for Eddie further, indication that this man is not a good man, he's a little. He's praised publicly in the past a little gentleman by the name of Adolf Hitler. He A. He said that the history of Germany is a copy of the history of Belarus. Germany was raised from ruins, thanks to firm authority and not everything connected with that well known figure Hitler was bad Gerald revolt over the centuries at attained its peak on the Hitler and you know what they say about Hitler Andy. Not Everything about and was no, that's not true. You know what they say about Hitler everything about him was absolutely everything about him was bad. Lukashenka has been described as Europe's lost dictator, and can we please at least add on a FA- now of? Sp.. Let's be realistic about this or at least add on Europe's last dictator. Then afterwards, who actually has the decency to lay his dictatorial cards on the table or who actually office rather than wielding power behind the scenes or who hasn't gone into football management tool sports administration instant. Salary Party. His salary as PRESIDENT OF BELARUS IS A. Twenty, five, thousand euros a year. I imagine there are some absolutely big fucking perks attached. Is allowed expenses of up to one hundred, twenty, five, million US dollars a month nervous still twenty, four grabbing. For the love. It is possible that the central auditor of the Belarussian Republic is also him. He's been big protests against his his his government, and the these. Elections police a violent near. Attacked demonstrators Lukashenko's claimed the protests were being directed from other countries in a singled out as suspects Poland. The Czech Republic and wife this. Britain now. This is very, very flattering that the Belarussian busta thinks that we have that kind of club in all black but seriously, we cannot organize king phone line in this country. Do you really think we can coordinate thousands of protesters thousands of miles away we can't get basic medical equipments to frontline health workers, own king hospitals there's no way we'll try to stabilize the Belarusian government we don't have those skills. There might be protests and Belarus there might be protests in Lebanon there might be protests everywhere but we all know the real country is experiencing genuine crisis. Is the United Kingdom justify and the? If. You will have no idea what this feels. But our country is being invaded by foreigners. In India you have no idea what that's. Never happened never happened we are we are under one of the most dangerous invasions of all time by which I mean a small boat. With eight defenceless refugees. ARRIVED IN KENT Does not spell out the scale of this crisis and it is a crisis. Then I don't know what will it is absolutely astonishing. What happened here? Nigel. Garage the disgraced radio, DJ and permanent. has taken up a new hope which is troubling down to the beaches of can't and making videos on his iphone. He posted one online lost Thursday which he called a shocking invasion of the cad coast, which was about eight people getting off a dinghy and walking on the beach. Now, eight people is less than the number of people who in total have walked on the moon and I don't know if either of is, but we're not exactly in charge up there. Quite far away from declaring the moon the fifty first State of North North North Dakota. Now. A I know nothing about invasions. But. Just hypothetical hypothetical question. See see the British were to invade some country Scindia for example. What well, okay. Let's this. Inspection. Hypothetical situation. Sit there were to let it said that a few British people. Hypothetically invaded India. Now, for an invasion, you would need I would imagine at least two hundred people five hundred people maybe a thousand people. This is possible to invade. I don't know much about your island. This signage language just picked up on Google. So this is totally hypothetical, but you know I've assuming to be invaded saying the seventeen fifty six. Battle Plassey, all hypothetical you would need. You would need at least two, hundred thousand troops to invade a country. Now you've got sixty million people would eight do I mean as the British fallible? Look. There's a there's a hint of cynicism coming you anniversary. A hundred thousand people. In very smart bright red uniforms actually quite easy to spot. whereas. You know only eight people in a in a rubber dinghy actually that's That's that's that's a far greater threat. To people are this it does. Make you think it's you when you think of the history of invasions. Just, another one of those things that's lost their edgy that we've got is a slow trickle of people turning up unarmed inflatable vessels then asking politely for permission to stay it's. I'M GONNA Vikings wouldn't get paid for that kind of stuff with it. I just wonder because it is Early this week that there was a letter sent to the Home Secretary by twenty-three, Tori MP's and to peers who said that ministers must do whatever it takes to address the attempts migrants went to the UK using small boats and as a side. Now, those twenty five people I smell so much shit list as is a complete king. List. They it led to specifically referred to invading migrants, and it starts to make me think is this part of a deep seated fear in the British psyche based on what we've done abroad that we simply cannot conceive of turning up country without invite again. Making the trip. So whenever we see people arriva gear, for reasons, you know diffuses maybe oh I don't know fleeing. Or desperately trying to make a better life for themselves instead of thinking well, we should extend a humanitarian handout to these people. We think you know what they must be here to get our gills and put them in their hats. King. Two Hundred Years. Would you say this in in in context though because you know it's a mathematical issue in British politics the whole issue of immigration of of asylum in two, thousand and nineteen. There were thirty, six thousand applications for asylum in Britain. Now, that is way way way more. Those thirty six, thousand dollars way more than one, hundred, sixty, five, thousand that were in Germany. were, the nine, hundred, fifty, one, thousand inference. Seven hundred and thousand in Spain, and it is even even more than the seventy seven thousand as automatic rotations were. In Greece and if I if you put all those together and do the maths, wrong don't cow. With James or ahead in those other countries applying for asylum, we actually took a one hundred percent of all the asylum seekers to always come so. This is an invasion of mock it. All you like an invasion of Home Office people were. Privatised of Boris Johnson described the crossings is very bad and. And Dangerous and criminal, which to be fair to him is just him quoting directly from his own tend to via. Human rights groups have gone onto described johnsons remarks as inaccurate and inflammatory, but in Johnson's defense, that's what he does. The man is inaccurate and inflammatory. If you asked him directions to the local shop, he would manage to tell you to turn left right left right and left to gain could cause confusing circle, and while he was saying it, he would somehow managed to use the N. word. Boris Johnson is inaccurate. Inflammatory is pointless pointless at this point as describing me as being brown and trip. We're no. It's an inexorable part of our personal brand. Now Niche. Andy. Political observers. Have to say in this part of the World Nigel Farrar she's not very well known. So if you want to describe Nigel Farrage. As a contemporary political analyst, how would you describe him for an Indian audience? Say. Well. Put it this way Nigel Faraj up for the loss of. Thirty two years it's basically like a child who has walked into the middle of their parents. Dinner Party. And it's frantically tugging on his penis for attention. Now, in that situation, I'm not a parent but in that situation, I think the best thing to do don't give him the attention it craves carry on eating while the British media has done for the last twenty five years is they've set up a twenty four hour rolling news coverage of this. Child's cock and balls. To lessons here what about you for us to about British dinner parties. And three by the sounds of things don't invite me to Babysit. Yeah he's a he. He actually take it for the brexit referendum and he got the brexit referendum. and. He is the head of the Independence Party and subsequently the brexit part he's been a figure from the far right of Britain. His constantly exerted pressure on the Conservative Party the right wing party and who constantly solve caved in to his demands largely because they've been trying to avoid, stop him from heading them off on the right of the Party and costing them votes, and at this point his latest shot I is a very convenient way for the government to use this crisis a word I'm using absolutely totally inaccurately. Distracting from its myriad failures be it's brexit plan, which is now being castigated by the very ministers who voted for it all its corona tragedy which now and I believe this is the official position. Hey, at least we America and all we. All we've got going for us at this point once again, the Conservative Party is using innocent and defenses refugees helpless people who we should be offering a hand to as political footballs, but they still somehow even do it poorly, and the thing about political football is that like football we have been quite bad at it for the law. On, what we now need to do is have a heavy investment in grassroots political football winning start looking at the continent at some of the more innovative political football coaches that have been operating there for the last sixty to seventy years we need to start looking at how we can rear new generation of more technically adept fast and skilful for political football players were. So you so don't you lumpen opposite number nine again. Walk. What made this country rife? It's pretty bad way to British, and. That's something on could have said at any point for the last five Oh arguably a two, hundred and fifty. Because you've us in conjunction with this YouGov polling agency. Did A survey and? Around. Migrants refugees and twenty two percent of the people surveyed said that they had not much sympathy and twenty seven percent said they had no sympathy toll for these people and you've got say this point. These basically are now what is suggested? These are the people who watched Bambi until. bombies bump deserve everything that she. And I imagine she was King Delicious? Wilson's we're talking about megalomaniac political figures and you mentioned political artworks. Earlier a a Donald Trump has denied asking about the feasibility of adding his own face to mount, Rushmore the famous American monument with a of the greatest presidents of US history. Now, he may well have denied it, and he's the kind of thing that could well be as he claimed fake news however, even if he denies actually having I it. He did not and could not annoy having thought it because. There's no way that he is not. Not only thought about. About that, but probably experience some form of sexual urge whilst. Thinking about it and whether it would be possible to copulate with a join stone statue of himself He tweeted this is fake news I. Never suggested it although based on of the many things of accomplish during my first three and a half years perhaps more than any other presidency. It sounds like a good idea to me now. I. Think. The bugle has laid its trump cards firmly on the table over the last four years and when we we haven't necessarily been an unequivocal fan of everything, he's done but to me. I think trump to rushmore would be low adding Hannibal, Lecter to the Last Supper. Super Smash hit pioneering Celeb- Foodie documentary painting Lenny. Peterson noisy was known at the time. Leonardo di. Vinci. Adding a coiling TURT-, to Rodin's the thinker or maybe adapting Antonio Canova's finished statue. The three graces by acting Donald trump to it complete with an alarmingly priok. Listen I D. I impulse of his the I've respected because bugs us has not object of great social and cultural significance and not for I'd like to draw combat. Also, I, feel the trunk operation is the of company that for a million dollars will allow anyone's face to be out on MT Rushmore. I think more realistic for him is to try to join James Buchanan, Andrew, Johnson Warren g holding in Franklin Pierce announcent shitheads which. West presidents. History hugely in favour of sub cod ballots I mean about Russia will listen about even even the president's for. Sure Visit Abe Lincoln but there's a couple of tricky customers on their these of a massive slavers looking Utah this Jefferson. And George Washington and there's also you know Teddy Roosevelt was not without contention but I do Jedi really think also Recently Rushmore is bill on grounds that had been promised to native Americans in perpetuity. So it's like the whole thing is a bit of a nightmare, but I do think the only thing that could balance it is by building some sort of monument to the most dog J. presidents maybe they can even sculpt out of canine facing just really. Sell the point of it. Just a stinking mound of dog shit featuring some of America's most useless president. Trump, on fact. Other turmoil news as I mentioned earlier on, Berlin has been rocked to its foundations by a Fox which has stolen. A hundred shoes A stash of of the footwear was found by someone adds a shoe stolen by the Fox most of them were described by police slightly nibbled the Fox who shall remain nameless focus often do apparently favored a plastic summer shoe. Not. Sure what you can read into that, but it does maybe suggest it wasn't a fetish thing, but it does make you wonder what are Fox is up to I. Mean it's possible. I've completed their research into what we keep an bins and announced on to analyze food. And at this rate, they will know everything about human civilization and all points of vulnerability within three hundred years at which point they'll be ready to pounce and take over the World Service of some news for them. Hurry up your frizzy tell felons human civilization will killed itself long before then. Conflicting news reports are coming out niche and. This particular Fox was a fan of Imelda Marcos. Wife of the dictator. Philippines Ferdinand Marcos and she had an extensive shoe collection I think inspired. By her this Fox is building his own national election which leads me to ask. Andy what is going on in Europe? Are. Large This is exactly why we exited exactly. Exactly what we voted to leave. Marauding gangs of shoe thieving Fox's. This is exactly what the leave campaign was talking about but they so of ended up saying something about reminding but. Actually metaphors for Fox's. This, this is the genius the leave campaign they saw it coming and instead of shoes they said jobs other than. They were absolutely bang on. Indian Calvin. News now and the government's announced. Plans to test a million people a day. Which sounds like a lot but that would still take four years to test the entire country Massive is the Indian Indian. Population are you are you excited by this this pledge from your beloved? This. Some research time on this and the United. Kingdom. Debts hundred and nine, hundred, two people for every hundred thousand people. Right though indeed. Yes. But that those numbers very good out of our, you have to remember those a world being numbers. World being because our government told us I will world but it's always good to rely on one source of information as we've learned to. Add. Pakistan is eight hundred thousand people. India right now thirty six, hundred thousand people protesting Prime Minister Modi are liberal wonderful leader. His ambition is to increase this number to a million tests each day. And one of the suggestions being made is instead of putting a tube up in your nose and sending it to a lab, it's just go up to an Indian person. Ask Them Do you have it and? Rely on a yes or no answer. It's worked for a number of things in India. So why not for a dangerous disease? One of the ways in the early days of this crisis we avoided being put on these lists was we didn't test. and. Test, you don't have it. So that's that's a good way. Which we've avoided any conflict in Indian household if you don't bring it up for long enough one or the other person will die. Just ask my own considerations not with US anymore. Doesn't one. My mom doesn't love him and he never will. Richard News now and. Children will be going back to school next month in England. If Johnston god-given prime minister houses way because there is a moral duty. To do. So there's a moral duty to get children back in school. I was Boris Boris Johnson Boris Johnson. Started lecturing his country on. World Boris Boris Johnson told told Britain what it's what it's moral moral duty Sattar. Is Not only dead. It has been created and scattered to the winds. Boris Johnson. told us. What moral duty even the way it is possible worlds are version of the universe is found itself in. To Hate Boris. Johnson telling us what our moral duty as a neutron ch. Of Implausible mean initially, initially Boris Johnson v very much spiritual director. I mean if you went orienteering with Boris Johnson's moral compass. You would end up. Wife from what you were trying to get. Yeah Yeah you. You'd still in Blackpool that end up in China. But I don't know why you'll. I can't believe you're reacting this way idea of course Boris Johnson need school to restart his house must be absolutely full of children. You're talking about a man who's Wikipedia page as we record, this continues to say children and the number is at least six. Johnson's house is basically a secondary school of the moment. Kidneys the schools to open the just needs a piece. So we can think about how to fudge covert numbers. Eight probably absolutely overwhelmed also, I think that. Boris Johnson is largely seen as you know. The He skilley scene is largely. So reading the British public's mood and anticipating but he has said as well as their as a moral duty to get back to schools. He said that he will shop ups to keep schools open and I'm afraid Boris Johnson. His titanic finally hit IT'S ICEBERG He thinks that the British public is going to tolerate pubs being close to open school. He has fundamentally misunderstood the mood of teachers, pupils and every single person in this country. In another school issue there's been a big rumpus about how exam grades of being being given out so that the Scottish government had a announced that A lot of people are having their assessed grades downgraded robin going with all the teachers that said they were basically on algorithms is happening across England as. Of now, go back on their education secretary John Swinney set. It's though had been downgraded. We'll be reversed he said, we now accept that the concern over grade inflation is outweighed by concern that young people from working class backgrounds may lose faith in the education system and conclude that the system is against them that conclusion has been reached yet in England. Where the Government Education Minister patrolling Kabul Limp said England society is founded on inequality. It's what made us great as a nation Bokan global pursuit, and in the clarity it brings to selecting people for Political Office. These winning teenagers need to accept that if they'd wanted fantasy education, they should have come out of someone else's womb and going to someone else's. So. It's rather clearer in England than it is north of north of Hadrian's wall that the problem is they were basing. Because the exams had to be canceled you to cove it and not just you to covered but also g to having mantra competent government attempting to deal with the COVID crisis. they they were basing childrens grades on what their teachers assess this resulted in grades being higher because apparently teaches all human with a heart King. Hit. So they were instead concert, they forced teachers to rank all their pupils and would then give them grades based how pupils from the same schools a done in previous years. So if you happen to be a school which it had A. coachloads of Quin previous. Then you're my prospects of However, if you've gone to school with, for example, lots of Hutchinson children from wealthy families then you're fine. Now in many ways, this mainly formalizing the British education system as it is a various options have been suggested for how to to give grades instead trusting people's assessment of themselves to give school. People's the same rights that governments have online about their own achievements and fiddling with against a massage puts results alternatively They could just follow political example and give high grades, people whose financial backers stump up the most money. That's basically how it works or since pubs prove more important than schools just kick on quiz machines in pubs. and. Based on how they do on quiz machines that might be the fairest as well as boosting boosting. The trade for the struggling hospitality industry The government's inequalities are Sarel pichler newsroom is to ensure. That a suitably British level of inequality remain entrenched in society announce any people whose parents become unemployed when the government's furlough scheme ends will be retrospectively downgraded. said, it seems unfair that these kids will benefit where the children of the term unemployed do not. That's all we wanted an education fairness and equality of opportunity. Similarly, he continued any people can prove that they have a close biological link to a hereditary bear, a current cabinet minister or a major donor to Conservative Party. They'll be bumped up a couple of grades or if that perpetuates all youtube channel posting videos about how great Boris Johnson, Brexit that can get an automatic eight. It's basically just rolling out the system we used for the House of Lords. So it's part of our. Trademark and all that team. GB. Team GB. Just like to add that, find that this last described. Very Fair I've had a lot of experience with that in the Third World just a small suggestion to make it even more equal purchasing the question people for a very high price. Very. Well, it'd Indian State Board. Elections examinations. Loads of medical and legal examinations you can. You can purchase the people. Sometimes if you know the right people, you don't even have to put up to the people sometimes don't know the right people and you have a gun and you know where the details. Solution so you know academia, there are lots of options that you guys haven't explored in Britain. We'll bring this to the end of this week's this week's bugle. To plug to. Well I am carrying on through the lockdown just to let you know I think India doesn't plan to come out of the lockdown. So this is just to be a way of Life A. Could have any gigs anymore, which is going to be at home and then just get used to it. So my my clock is Fees. The push me. Good luck from my new lockton. On. Life. Nishida. I'm hosting a show on the APP Quimby, which is called Hello America, and the premise of the show is that it's a British comedian talking about the American news which I believe has an done. And I'm excited to be a pioneer of of this particular for. Thank you for listening buglers going hear more of me. I'll be spouting was into the radio again for the next two weeks. We back next week with NATO Green Antef Stevenson, and we will play out this week with some lies about our premium level voluntary subscribers to join them go to Google PODCAST DOT COM, and donate button, and also you can view uh spectacular range of new merch two things available Lewis. I knew. That that things there are three kings. Three inland jump the jumpers are on full sound taking them off presell Andy, our Christmas jumpers, Christmas jumpers shirts and socks, and two different sizes of t shirt. Two different designs probably more actually less how many different sizes are there Teasha? Underselling this. Six let's Talk Shit laughs love. These are love these socks these have. A great. Awesome socks. This is someone. Drove A T shirt to jump in socks your sauteed I mean, you need any other form of clothing ever again. True Bugler, you will philosophically refused to wear trousers or pants. And that's. That's the real creator. The bugle is. Tops covered fee covered. Let those genitals breeze. There could be no more appropriate way to this show. Ian. Young feels sorry for ancient. Greek myth star Sisyphus sure. The Guy was an entitled Prick Deceitful Little Shit Pack. He would fit right into the political landscape today but physicians to punish him by making him continually roller rock almost all the way up a hill over and over again for all. Seems a real waste of divine punishment why not get the Boston to paint fences or road lines forever will continually dredge irrigation channels or continually plant trees in the Amazon. Give something back to society. What use to anyone is the shoveling a rock hill nonsense it is punishment for punishment psych royals in and it does not help rehabilitate civis all benefit society as a whole. Grant Craig thinks that if anything the excessive punishments meted out to Civis glamorized him and his crimes Sisyphus was punished for cheating death notes grant, and now thanks to him. Everyone wants to have medical treatment delivers lowest possible at vast economic cost to governments worldwide. Whilst I admire the Greek gods more flexible use of non-custodial judicial sentencing continues grant something today's prison obsessed legislators could well learn from I believe the harshness of those sentences to have been counterproductive in the long term. James Daly agrees and wonders where service is now even those uses long since quit his role as CEO of the Olympian Gods Franchise says, James Presumably Sisyphus has now audio about that's an is still rolling that stupid boulder up that stupid hail. Maybe he's come to an acceptance of it and finds joy in simple things like the changing of the seasons, the rhythm of the days and the sound of passersby going who. Every time he gets near the top on the boulder rolled back down. He probably miss it. If he ever had his all eternity sentence commuted to full thousand years time, which he has already served concludes James. Emily Ditto worries about sece's mental state. Should he ever be released from his unending boulder shoving torment? He'll have no support networks says, emily his family and buddies or not only all long instead but probably never existed in the first place a now on really needs boulders rolled up hills anymore either. So it's not like he's picked up any useful skills while serving his sentence degree economy isn't in great shape ads emily and the jobs market is tough. Enough of people in their fifties. Let alone ex myth stars who are several thousand years in the tooth. Steve in Oregon often wonders how many boulders s`est who's got through over the course of his sentence oviously notes Stephen Oregon which, of course has its fair share of both boulders and mountains. It depends on the Rock, the boulders a made from and the size and statements of the hill is being rolled up, and then rolling down then continue Steve you also have to. Factor in what type of terrain the Bulgar encounters on the way and what if anything is bringing it to a halt at the bottom these could all affect the rate of erosion of the boulders and indeed whether or not they crack into smaller rocks and the audience anyone Rebecca Leo pipes up a notes that over the significant portion of eternity that the former king. Of current has already served whether erosion could also have been a factor. Especially if the bowlers are made of a more porous or softer rock also says, Rebecca, let's assume that Zeus doesn't the bowl to erode below a certain size otherwise, what's the point? So I reckon all sece's probably got through loads of boulders like maybe twenty eight Baldur's possibly even up to thirty. Five boulders people biebel stain chips into wonder whether this whole discussion has been pointless that chart is all people blasts that he still on the original boulder, which almost certainly a magic one remember these Olympic gold could do anything. They could turn themselves into swans to get their enjoy and stuff like that or I can come up with a non eroding punishment boulder. Don't you? And, Linda Coletta. Anger has absolutely no sympathy with Sisyphus. If he's still shoving not stupid rock up and down that stupid hill, he's got only himself to blame. It is a clear contravention of his human rights and any half decent lawyer would not only get him released from that sentence. But when in fact compensation package to besides ads Linda sister I was a total Boston who tried to kill his brother who was by the way was an utter shithead. Seriously you've got to ask questions of the parents I don't care how mythical they were. Ended this week's lies.

Boris Boris Johnson India Andy James Bond England Britain James Bugle US Fox Belarus Alexander Lukashenko cricket London Donald Trump Conservative Party Chris Europe North Dakota Mumbai
BONUS BUGLE: Gaddafi, Gandhi and randy

The Bugle

29:00 min | 11 months ago

BONUS BUGLE: Gaddafi, Gandhi and randy

"Bugle audio newspaper for Visual World. How Bugles and welcome to Bugle sub episode full thousand, one, hundred, sixty, four, eighty, four. I'm not able to episode this week. You can however hey me hosting the new series of BBC radio four's the news quiz available from all good podcast shops or just asking nicely on the internet or you can hear me banging on about the crooked again if that's your bag, which if it isn't I will nothing more to do. A, you are valued bugler listener who has my Respect and gratitude and pity idiots instead of a full episode this week we have some prime offcuts from recent bugle recordings featuring. May Alice Fraser Nash Kumar, a D. Mato on Powell plus the history of the world well, bits, bits, bits happened in the equivalent week that we're now in. But in different years since the bugle began but I Chris Crank up the off gutting machine let's say the gold that you siphoned off from all the other goal. India news now and all Hugh Story. Here here in Britain, the pair of Mahatma Gandhi's glosses were sent to a an auctioneers and we're left hanging out of the letterbox. This is a kind of strange strange store. Apparently, the glosses are worth. Around about twenty thousand US dollas and took my me think Gandhi at a pair of twenty grand glasses. No wonder you couldn't afford a paradigm. Talk Spending. Our allies you'll spending. A good loss looks makes you look wise authoritative makes you that you mean business but not if you're not accepting with at least a small business. Is All about assessories? Andy this is the thing so Around four weeks ago. Anoxia named Andy Stool headed into work was checking the letterbox at his office after the ribs lockdown in Brazil and he found this thing and it had a little note saying these belong to Gandhi and my uncle was given them. When. Contacted this, Gore. And said that they were given to him by the Mahatma Gandhi wiliness employed in South Africa. Apparently, Gandhi was very happy with the particular legal note this gentleman had written. So gave him his glasses and. Hasn't person I've always had an issue with Ghandi's acts of reckless generosity. Just, we're on the verge of independence with the civil disobedience movement of feel people die and he calls it all off. You know. Everywhere else a little bit of murder these natural in the path of independence but not forgotten D he has to be like this recklessly generous person and also very altruistic. If he didn't ever have a nice walk shirt a lot of cash. So he just gave this guy his classes and presumably walked around South Africa not being able to see much for a week. This is exact. Now, you sounded like a good list member of the BJP. Value. Sounding Shelby was. With his gloves and then it ended up with him giving Pakistan. Exactly. That's how it. Actually go the right we BJP. Hadn't speech the other Danish where they said, you know all these things have been tried this quote unquote nonviolence the. Code freedom of press. What does that? Got Us that's a legitimate point. You start giving glasses next few courts. evidence-based trials where does this end? Goal. Reckless I feel like I'm talking to my extended Family Watson. Bosa. Internally apparently, he owned them when he was working for British Petroleum in South Africa in the Early Twentieth Century was county working for the fossil fuel industry my. He just hated polar bears. It was simple as that. Intrigued by this, it's To the fact that they submit auction house this little note these belong to Gandhi. My uncle was given them a now up for auction twenty. Other items submitted for auction Since auction house explained how pair of someone claimed candidate given to his uncle and Chapman through books worth when ground include a Sasha of catch up someone's mildred picked up in a motorway service station to Elvis and stop for. A pipe aeroplane folded by Franklin. Delano. Roosevelt someone's granny had kept when she found it was tidying up the recycling off to the Yalta Conference Pencil someone's great great granddaughter Bar. Abraham Lincoln when he'd finished rolling the Gettysburg address on the back of a handkerchief shortly after Saint Louis would mean going to do a fucking speech in five minutes time Shit I'll just Hack couple of hundred words and see how it flies, and also Hitler's other testicle found in a jar of white vinegar a broom cupboard in the alcohol by someone's might stats brother when singing backing vocals for the Rock Group Grand Funk railroad at the venue back in nineteen seventy one and kept in the fridge at the sense allows for auction in the next month. Thank God there was a joke this podcast that Redford's Abraham Lincoln Adolf Hitler and Grand Funk Railroad. Inside the factory. Someone wouldn't manage the hit that they. That that comes out she the grand funk railroad gig out the hold and nineteen seventy-one almost resulted in me not existing because my dad. To mother to it early in their marriage at I. think she nearly left him. The. Grand Funk Railroad, musically the opposite of various. It's really music. It's really it's really to kill a vibe. In other American news scientists have discovered evidence that humans may have settled in the Americas much earlier than previously thought new finds people could have been living there as long as thirty, three, thousand years ago the the theory is. That humans. People, America's initially via a land bridge from Russia pay attention people from Russia Russia leg America. Russia and. The very, very, very long time. some the the this finding in in Mexico. They've used dating techniques including radiocarbon dating, which relies on the way radioactive form of the element carbon carbon fourteen. decays it to gradually over time carbon fourteen to give you the idea of the age of something and also interesting enough is the principal chemical components of hope they've also used optically stimulated luminescence, which works by measuring the loss time sediments were exposed to light and optimistically stimulated luminescence, which combines the two techniques and tells you the last time something was exposed to hope for lots of Brits I think it was in the two, thousand, sixteen or twenty, ten or ten, sixty, five. So, this is very very exciting discovery hurry for a views. As an American think. Thirty three thousand years ago things started going tits up it must be very shocking to Europeans who conquered it several hundred years ago when it was discovered that there was actually. People their previous to that. Six Hundred Years. To all of us. That is a central northern Mexican Mexican highlands Rock Boffins CIPRIAN Ardell and from the University of Zach Atiku. Tom From Oxford another artifact bothering colleagues claim to found evidence. of human occupation dates back say thirty thousand years since the first settlers settling America's on their inevitable path which trump Bolsonaro and diminishing returns international football tournaments. One of the archaeologists professor, Doctor Driller, but Clark. From the University of Nantwich admitted it's just a few bits of stone really chisels and shit like that really shows there wasn't much advance for tens of thousands of years we started all make suspect that all human ancestors were Basta Gillette to kick back and take it easy now queuing up to by the latest Apple Chisel Blade six or the mammoths lie arrowhead three, thousand x, just a simul old useless slightly shop and pink pebbles who are these being layabouts if they'd got off their office two thousand years ago, we'd probably be flying. Around the universe in intergalactic space ships by now or have developed time travel, maybe that's why they didn't Bala come to think of it. They didn't want us to travel back in time and kick them out of that cushy little cave from tone to snap to it hang on the internal logical Donald Sand up at a point does it's Tom. We call these early humans who found it around for a hundred thousand years scrolling the old Elkin, the inside of a cave, and otherwise failing to advance what they really were loses their of Senate now. Foyer right. Slot this lead to a question on university chatting. There's been a huge public outcry over the draft environmental impact assessments not -Cation, twenty twenty and I mean it's good to know that Environmental. Impact assessment notifications still as popular now is as they used to be in the past as easy as. Global in Varman correspondent just just bring us up to date with with this what is happening with this version of the e e in twenty twenty the version that this government wants to pass is that it reduces the burden on industries so that they can pillage the environment more reading. That is this constant battle of development versus environment development versus environment but it's like saying, you know what? Let me destroy my lungs so I can have prettier Neal's Snails having Nice. Meals doesn't matter 'cause shitty lungs means you'll die and those nails are going get bored with your body and the problem with cutting down all the trees are not gonNA have enough kindling to burn copses. Never really thought of it that way. I think looking at it but to. Part of the great human tradition of you know in the Altay lead based makeup. Your might people look look prettier as they gradually died of poisoning. What we are as a species we are basically he look the world now and you just think humanity in two thousand twenty as just joy on five hundred mile high middle finger at Charles Darwin saying. evily forwards. Dead bidded busted. With the degrees refused to have children. I have a dog. I also I mean guys I just want to put this out there because it's about that struck me is. Aunt trees the real culprits. Altos. Bosses. To. Account. Because I mean, they're the ones that I defaulted releasing carbon dioxide in the night while we sleep sneakily behind our back and so I mean at least industries and corporations have the decency to spew balloons in the air in front of. The time that we're the we. Five think actually this is a positive step to make things easier to to the lands. Good someone's got the courage to say that macos too. Often we get caught up in the gender of. Wanting to save the planet and Thank you for being A. Voice for the disenfranchised. Bake, business big industry unbridled capitalism. It's eighty that's enough. People are you in the media today? Yeah people always talking about huge tracts of fertile rain forest being destroyed. They never asked those huge tracts of fertile rainforests were nice ought. What I mean morally nice. Obviously as trees, they're very beautiful. You know I don't even know I would prefer my road to progress to be paved with some depression debt. The, she'd of my eight does more than the shade of trees. Those were some recent offcuts back in time time now and remember when Republican conventions were not Harrowingly Dystopia and all kings of the hands of democracy hell. Now, a well least the Balkans were a bit less bulky anyways two thousand and eight to tell you all about it. So John You must be pretty relieved. That's this two week festival of communal political masturbation has drawn to a merciful political close. I think it's interesting. It's been walking told experiment. How much democracy the human soul can. And I'll tell you it. I-. nonconsecutive. Convention Sarah Palin, and it is really depressing that's it's depressing a move so cynical same. So what? I would absolutely crazy the other noise FA. Walking out all of them screwing hull, rub she knocked out of. Another craftspeople thing that touchdown. A three pointer. It was a long blue to the top left corner. One British listeners. Think Alex Higgins of the nausea. Three Wilson. To. Show. So John I mean have you met many average hockey moms in your time in America? That's very much the new thing to be now to be hockey mom, which is interesting in accounts, which is completely turned his back that guy. I guess I guess probably met them all the time. Now all reinvented themselves as hockey. Certain. Carter Stepford mom. Because she did this office, just your average hockey mom and now fashion Joan on. No, I'M NOT AMERICAN NFL don't really have a vote in this election. But. Will Andy that again we're going back to whether recognized American Independence Bill Gates. So to me, it sounds like the average hockey mom is if not the last person that you would want to be one rogue SNOOKA show wife May Oval Office then certainly probably ultimate person. You'd want that that. Just that sliced Cubal jumps off the table and here's the president's know on the temple. New Good joke or even we're going in his. Convention special two weeks we've had kind of aims I guess not squarely at all at all global listeners. More Americans. SNOOKA it's the game that the rest of the well place. Probably as well. The vetting process for her. Gradually each day. This new absolutely incredible factor version about a woman she was a member of this parliament which was actually. Alaskan separatist movement which. is in many ways quintessentially. American. Onto segregates from the nation. That's taking it back to old school, but it does seem that's that's not that's not even a vetting process that should have caught by that's just a google. Well. No that McCain doesn't use a computer and it's talked a lot about that. Someone should have just put it Sarah Palin and. Came Up. Came up was that photo? Awesome. Strives Bikini Holding. Then, all bets are off Feldstein. Surely. Enough. Any red blooded American voter actually next week. I'm going to be doing the bugle with a machine gun and. Don't really approve of your increasingly cavalier attitude towards. The Beagle dress codes cavalier. Sarah Palin. She only got her American possible in two thousand and six and has been to a total of five countries. One of which it turns out she went into only while her plane refueled. You do not get and the the flavor I don't want to. The liberal hippy here don't get the flavor of the nation from it the airport. When I was a kid so fun to South Africa seem grandparents and. We stopped off in in Mombasa in Kenya a lot to think ever since then. I've really had a deep spiritual affinity with the people of of of all parts of Africa's results of half an hour stopover at the age of six. Two thousand eight that. But as we now know September two, thousand eight was followed just two years later by September two thousand and ten and this top story this week vanity, publishing and former prime minister of Great Britain Tony. Blair's memoir has hates the bookshops of this planet. And potentially have other planets as well. But at the moment, this is the only one that we know of it's it's called a journey MoD political life and is launch was eagerly anticipated publishing sensation who can forget and he last week these scenes of children lining up outside bookstores, midnights all dressed up as their favorite characters from the autobiography Ex. Foreign Secretary Robin Cook was. A popular costume, one dress like a very convincing crash short shouting something about the Iraq war illegal and want you old was lying motionless on the ground presumably having cameras David Kelly either way it was a festive atmosphere around the and the kids they couldn't wait to get the books home start reading and have their spirits and imaginations completely crushed David reference three assassination references. All was it? To. Yeah, you'd have to cancel some some book signings because because a protest eggs thrown in supplements. For the that's been through so He's learning John because he's lost learning to back down in the face of public protests. Seven years like. he's donating the profits from his book to a Charity Organisation for British soldiers into toeing the Iraq war, which is both an excellent idea, and also technically literally the least he could. A political man was are notoriously self-serving at best often offers a scene late night on bookshop security cameras breaking into stores and moving that books from the autobiography section to the history section while the detractors hiding the pregnancy section on white to move the books to the fictions shells instead it's to and fro. An interest of transparency, every political memoir, and the ever written should really be forced to have the same title, which should be no. You're all wrong vicious how it happened. Whoever and in the grand scheme of overall record on that was very much a hamster of mitigation on the end of an ethical see that has Roy Nassir. S- of repugnance squatting and defecating on the other end. was money I some critics claim blood money. Awesome many further justification for bless decision to join America invading Iraq because without the controls he created there is no way he would have been paid so much as an assault so many copies and not be able to give so much money to the British Legion. So really it's also to self justify itself. Should never have their publishes as a key advisor. Office listen you got. You gotta give me a little SAS to play with. The the two main characters in the story, all himself and ex-chancellor ex prime minister and current holder of pensioners. Zinger, two thousand and ten Gordon Gordon Brown the book is surprisingly honest about players complicated relationship with emits. Nature of the relationship is probably just that he's chosen to be so honest about it Blair all as you mentioned, has a proven record of not being a huge fan, the concept of honesty. Surprised that he suddenly. Try it now well, how controversial worry statements about Brown nor especially to be honest scrawlings brown maddening, which I don't think anyone in Britain would disagree with in fact, it seems to be more than the lease negative these almost impressive number of character. He also said that Brown lacked emotional intelligence a guy I think brownwood would struggle to make a decent legal case against that partly because he lacked the social skills to be able to communicate coherent defense to his lawyers effectively. We said in an interview this week Johnny said, he was still friends with Gordon. Brown. Out of all the that my all my notes of told over the last thirteen years that's out there with the weapons of mass destruction classic and the claim on page three, hundred, twenty, four of his memoirs in fact Elvis. And if I may quotes to get the. Rights for this and then. I think. So I think this is a world exclusive anyway this is from face CNN twenty four. I realized that whilst the much great work unifying humanity as Elvis there was still much left to do and the best way to do that was to fake my death and reinvent myself as a creepy over sincere free market quasar socialist with unshakable belief in his own destiny. Beautifully put. That was twenty, ten year later, bugle issue one, hundred and sixty six and to the world just someone else was leaving it in a notes one hundred percents audio away from his perspective. Of Story this week Gadhafi's lost. I definitely. He's dead I. Think He's dead is that he must be dead. We'll celebrating he must be dead. Yeah he's He's dead in saw John. The case with. Being. Killed Him. killed something deep inside the hope for the future we kill them. Yeah. That's been a one million dollar bounty on Gadhafi's heads dead or alive preferably to the sake of legal convenience. I imagine night I was. Preferring, a dead of the alive buttons. Please buglers do find Gadhafi do not be tempted to keep him. he has limited resale value. And if he is only Ebay. If you if you find Gadhafi and money by, we cannot be held responsible. Fool may bidding for him but you know I mean it'd be in Austin have any house a little Gadhafi. Just older mental Gadhafi. Nothing. Conduct in bedroom in your front door and he's a doorbell. Just let. Poe Punch him on the nose. Squeak welcome in. The. Deaf I don't think so it doesn't look. Kinda go he's such a monster in the early. Is Really just Moses. He's being API to his old tricks and. During a broadcast on local TV station he placed martyrdom or victory what a game show. Is. Well. Television needs. To Russia these La. Mosque. Quiz shows. Yeah. Talent shows less something with something real on the line. Let's see how much people really want to be celebrities and martyrdom is pretty much your. Still you your your great whiter celebrities. And Win were for Jesus didn't. Feel good game show suggest Jesus his whole public profile was placed. On, him being a martyr rather than. Magician and raconteur. Previously done. Well. How magician ruckle tone. Without the spin and the payoff so speaks just. Strip away strip away Elias Jim. In he was also claiming Local. TV Station this week that he was still in the capital. Tripoli he said I've been out a bit in Tripoli discreetly without being seen by people did not feel that Tripoli was endanger every part of that sentences on through. Every off we now in Tripoli discreetly. Without being seen by people incorrect did feel Tripoli endanger if that's true he's Matt as well. He hasn't been watching the news. And he should probably his loan of work he needs to keep abreast of the news. because. So many people clearly seem quite angry with his leadership. And if he's just blanking out the fact that his own compounders being razed to the ground, he needs to get on top of that. Is it not possible as well? As, a man in his position, he might be able to walk around the streets of Tripoli right now because no, one would believe the vice bulls to mock about interesting that man looks amazing. Colonel Gaddafi all. Person Is. A good one area shopping for bread. Doesn't seem concerned by anything. Love. Breads. There's all about the print. Two buckets every morning. It couldn't function. Without two packets. US. Some bread and it was slow him down. Well, no, and that's why I think we. Lost his grip on power. To to buy. But they found some amazing things as as always if there's absolutely one thing that a despot will give you and it's arguably worth in during the four decades of pain persecution to get there. But you know when desperate is overthrown, you're gonNA find some crazy shit in his house. And amongst various bits of crazy shit, perhaps the craziest has been found so far in a Gadhafi compound is a photo album stocked to the Brim with pictures of Condoleeza Rice. Crazy. Crazy crazy. No patsy. Kline gone away. But? Apparently. He's sensible. Basic thing we've all been there. Let's be honest. Yeah Lee. Ho does not have a secret stash off Condoleeza Rice. Cast the first stone or have a sequence of Roy photos tattooed stomach. Well. Yeah. But some of that was more to get A. Green, Card. I said I'll do whatever it took on. Anything on the field and she looks great on a moped beef. Yeah. I didn't say how Are you said she was going to. You go there is you'll bugle sub episode to keep you going for the next week or so the bugle will be shifting to Monday recordings for the next few weeks whilst I'm hosting the news quiz. So if the Bugle does not plunk itself into your pogue machines at the regular points in the week, please do not panic or at least only panic internally and try to minimize public displays of despair if that's not too much to ask stay calm sitting next to a wireless await further instructions or just wait for the show to plunk down early in the week said late in the week, we will be back in the weakish a little bit longer maybe.

bugle Mahatma Gandhi John You Americas Tripoli Russia Sarah Palin BJP US Andy Stool Gadhafi hockey Gordon Gordon Brown South Africa South Africa Grand Funk Railroad Britain Roy Nassir prime minister Blair
FuseBox Radio #620: DJ Fusion's The Futon Dun Livestream DJ Mix Fall Session #11 (#Election2020 Hip-Hop + R&B Hangover Mix)

FuseBox Radio Broadcast

1:02:44 hr | 9 months ago

FuseBox Radio #620: DJ Fusion's The Futon Dun Livestream DJ Mix Fall Session #11 (#Election2020 Hip-Hop + R&B Hangover Mix)

"Three par who are now are tuned in to the fuse. Box radio broadcasts with dj fusion. And john judah you're as good as they say you are syndicated worldwide to bring real black radio back to the masses fused radio presents on done mix so so stated infrastructure in collin still my turn this red guest starred. Good as this thousand Probably going to catch on an afternoon as to comment on. It ended in the suburbs in the west lake was Hey was the only time like wins gonna treat me right. Because he was the list go. Brexit get damp and the knowing. When i'm gonna look brands win. People better players are all over. This gotta get this straight again. Get this don't take disodium bed. Don't a yeah train. Travel ball do. The same thing is z. With anybody killa him. We can work with the adult upbringing. Going extra slow down grandbaby. Talk straight out up repor exit zone. I'll put their face with shoppers. Spray down to invade now on the ground saying about the hey brought trade to do. The same thing. Game is all over the base. Same thing win money. Fold better on the phone. I go down interest down there. Mary not to way. Still ano- your place in days. Yohe on jump on it up pays so we smelt right. You say so. You see. No one like me since who back in the nineties. The oldest don't known by bringing them in mass road to starve speak cornell what he means but against new i did. I found the doors trying to let back across the parking. By the way to your own in mind. Lost go on some of never fold or you can never immortal kudo shirts on red aiming to get you can get a job. You career vest snaring. Dj fusion fuse box. Radio is now in the mix la talking shop in good Off not need a hand. People spend an and grounded expense. Humans in your hand said that and right opposes attached. ooh You are now missing fuse. Box breath search Third person Off the what. We just wanted to try races walnut. They used we used to be good to have like you know i grew was fasting with a hijab. Busted my ass in davos matching envelope and woke up a meal so flat most of my life. And i don't know why so to find the most out of that plan right now. Thirty gave now thirty pounds. Thirty eight is where it begins now. None of us no hapoel and all my work at all gone death. I can't say what none of is why we just wanted to try. Try to know what we used to be out just want to wanted to. I can't i was grew fast. Example mike window up quick him again now away as bus in my head because we busted my and we used to be good or wasn't going as we all wanted the same thing away today james way born to them playing we got chasing them saying to go. Because that's it so underground mom. Low dirty uniform warned the we go see that three. Goethe i was okay with winch. Okay admirable i was okay with when hamas okay plant now. I was line fusion of fusebox. Radio is now in the mix. Nothing tell Talk show talk All stop off to the show some A a a five nine then. why does need alabama. I'm anne go back talk boy. Then opinion we need you love bologna wooded to miami abby off the past She nicotine panorama dimbleby. Decide up in the ramp to play donny. Hathaway waiting the type of woman that you wanna make basie daddy. Why late that. Because i don't come correct when you were a random. We had the ground colorado. I'm making you don't megani right. Party by hand likes hitting the breakaway break break at one and was thinking like making. We're going go to walk like bad. Bad baby came up on a tender cronies told them i let them meet out of home. If there's a live broadcast kissing only by the lord and all trying to be play roses coming pool you know own. The clip foot put. The blood has van right now. I'm talking about what does out the law man. Snap my my god warman. Whatever smith fall naked look up so bad horse like saddle guy. Nap wrong whistle. Bring the cat. Turtle battle seats apt flag camera. Roll like a hammer throw smash like hearing. Aloha need to cook. It smells so good. Like mama. Cooking recipes to the mambo madonna heading iran scouts cook how flash new fragrance this case though won't a the future percents state. Stay morning slow. Talk and bob drones and the backcomb pot smoke to play piano. Pops was that go to convey slow devil. Look back before sound like the type of advice. Twenty how top fuel on tick tock clock shot spoke out her dog out. Forty four points on the smoke. What you got on the world to petition the prime into primary asaka crime from right to the dollar mason is what she will pin an independent kid. I'm gonna look. don't stock. Need to give him medicine yummy. Toby never give him my visit told me never give you my love still todaybritain's the mark steel today. Getting my thoughts. Daddy told me never give money and ask daddy. Did who may dollar may. Send me monday monday. Monday got wiped built like a play dog but chemicals are one hundred made a meal that for premium and depth they went. Nope never never looked back. Never look back baton so you can't go back in the past future all around the world the only you'll thomas to the county walk past cage as place. Quick thought class at the cats the pizza. Nothing's here when. Amelia martha j gonna streak. I mean the number of the pre. The our never looked. You only get better if you will never get better and better than ever get bit. Delegate pivoting make settlements special you would just plane with a hit breath iota. What we never looked back back back back never looked world. You are now listening to fusebox radio overlook to keep crime because they took down the put the street. The street she added on the streets can never get around the club to connect with the team. She's when coach title. St street she told. Sbs streep took uh-huh alabama burn this. We focused on brain ground. We said we wouldn't put some even spoke. Crowds bound time trusted. Dora role signs fiscal times. A just modems. I just had thoughts are to style on the city. this I'm just hit a pop. This flow will get the whole party. We can never put to what you brown is week name and without the but so i gotta go. 'cause i'm batting speed extinct. They built that quotas trip soda. Become leafing traffic of weeping. Berkeley seats took into trouble of the gang feedback from the ticket album. We stop to ninety six. You can't knesset shift to the fall. Victim an evil what have made. It is Never thought my daddy died side. But i just let us la. Father left the seeking home in a house full of women that depend on their own. I seen the beauty of life but then he recognizes that the cyber still came around and that was set vibe. And i could see yes yes yes go seen twenty four and then we turn it into twenty more. Forgive me just one more but do coming out the final calm. The asks me when. I'm running for who running from how you saw up the score naked gun. New design of fresh partic-. Here's one of one from the slums would embrace bracing only coming from mickey cannon that be singing like mariah arms when he ain't the number one supplier all this. He's dying that war. This is diane. We're not meet the. You'll see the god that i am in perfect but no denying the energy and my triumph. Too many empty pockets and empty dreams too many block with these empty schemes brexit. Down the whole bottle madison empty land. He lost his sola. Them jobs defame ohio. And don't it'd be real. We own dick big movie on the upper room about iraq cable. You dafur saying funeral home in the muslim world eighty three. Just say shaking me. Stay with me for me. Honestly uprated cute. Wake up off always thought that that was both say mardi taught me how smoking james stolen jas when little will make it out to jason. But i'll probably take you pick me crush the slush deluxe luxury suites streaking past sheesh. Blow to treat to sixty billion miles off of feeding such like a g got to drink. Eighty eight the streets. I saw go to. And i was so that's the king of one day. Need a need a home. That i can known that i can only call into went off on my own. The predecessor the great depression after the great depression of peasants beg info blesses the promise of better moss common. Now that can catch redirect issue number one at the money of to the fuse. Box radio broadcast via itunes stitcher in radio podcast addict and your other favorite podcasts players check out the fusebox radios official website for our latest episodes events and more at fusebox radio online dot com. You can also visit us on facebook at facebook dot com slash fuse box. Radio show twitter at twitter dot com slash fusebox radio and instagram at instagram dot com slash views. Box radio real free. Contact us at fusebox. Radio asked g mail dot com submit music for airplay considerations.

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Bugle 4128 - Official Brexit Freedom Day Special

The Bugle

43:54 min | 1 year ago

Bugle 4128 - Official Brexit Freedom Day Special

"You learned welcome to issue four thousand one hundred twenty eight of the Bugle newspaper for underground hermetically sealed from the outside world it's a recording studio penny basic much the other end of the experience soil with my guests to you mark steel who played the opening of Hadrian's wall yeah AH often I'll get to enjoy being youth policy on the video leapord's gave his wife is Hispanic Jay she was really lot happens when you get to human encyclopedias show I spent I spent over supposedly the formulas but the person responsible for this said to Mr Mrs Formby one night and that's the point in which they scored out brilliant yeah with the Red Army so this is we're recording on the I remember which is World Vegan Day yeah no animals will be drowned during this recording lucky John on this show anymore that's every day for me in case my loyal wife is listening that's my my one wife who is a lawyer he's nicknamed with a warrior pope on the fearsome pope which are not traditional popey qualities almost rigidly to ascend poking tactic Pope Julius his manager McKee Paintbrush himself and that was exhibited to the public for the first time on this day in fifteen so terrible for Manatt just sounds I was never been made into a Sitcom he's miserable why you painter happening this was supposed to be the beginning of the freedom the type of Utah Ah Anybody Probably Bitcoin this was supposed to be be freedom freedom day the day off the freedom we were supposed Tober the evidence suggests that that is not entirely happened yet thing he exploded we need to crack okay well we're movember where men grow starches for charity but there are more options here these the attorney facial hair but those numbers encouraging people to wear a large prosthetic nose for a month like just quote for the entire month do get psychiatric assistance if you to the wettest month and comfortable where you take policing into your own hands for month top story this week well we didn't get brexit but we all getting an vote vote vote until it goes away by actually voting they love it dazzling over debt with a yeah I'd let the street that the book and stuff and you know one of the main characters turns triple combat this from from under fifty s time yes and when parliament dude nothing emily thornberry campaign naked today to we'll be right so if we're leaving it that's what happened nine so they really can have to store they also I'm behind the conservative government when it came under elements hence the name and thus reduce the number of times we were inconvenienced by the democracy we keep erroneously taking four six weeks of concentrated bullshit bull shattered into their hackers resigned a perfectly reasonable a fan of doing slogan if you are the opposite opinion pal we we've printed the leaflets guys it gets worse each time the slogan is your although beat Lay locally we didn't have any to stroll under Jeremy Kobe now this is a man who delayed brex himself by voting repeatedly against series Fox is is is that they simply ah borders we haven't got because of another on the border that we forgot about it's not yeah this is actually happening the other day I ran into someone who knew someone feels like it feels like you're joking about being snuck aside pro feels written it feels like there's an amazing fable wonder what was it like this during the corn laws and civil war of eighteen years from beginning to wasn't it well the forty you're gonna go I wonder if they'll ever we'll people joking about people it really knows anymore I know goes through this ritual I was so kind Mukasa tactical somebody showed me of tactical voting whip so it seems to be in two blocks on one end Faraj Boris Johnson Support Breaks Capuchin and Labor but Democrats sort of seen their position seems to be we don't care I'm one of these websites are tactical vote in one where it says who's got the best chance of be Boris Johnson Percent Labour on all right are they the bottom it said now no other Paul chance right problems we have with our electoral system based meat for the vast majority of voters that's the country actually thinks a nation even Father Christmas and these decades longer than they would otherwise have done thanks to that they're huge social structures for the avoidance or this party election broadcasts which came out today dimension to policymaking do you believe in electoral reform an informed potus Patriot democracy I post post you might as well smear a dead ferret flat on your ballot paper go getting so it's what we've all the wars for may not live in Brighton this association thank you actually reached a poetic that's going to be a first full resignation and I'm happier then then occasion on no there's going to be one opinion obviously everything becomes personal in the end this this election tightening on my GonNa happen you know what I mean it's king this government of ruined everything so I've got to look after the actual like anyway I'll I'll fill never grown thief devoting licenses I probably am voting test it'd Salaam this is a number of experienced conservative basically kicked out of the party for having a different opinions and I'm not sure wouldn't totally using freedom of in cal- it's off it's like harassing a strategy is our CEO of and not just not just as well to just just refusing to address it I mean it's it's pretty able to come up with any collection of words that you could put on twitter that wouldn't get a lot of take a sad sufferers basically the choice is between people who have topped the country because uh-huh being caught policy anyway but a coast then the abuse you don't take everything literally and just all that's going to work often joined the Tories is the you know does and are persuaded all forty people to do as they were going to vote you know the six weeks but it will seem like Kabila longer yeah yep yeah you uh-huh Christmas is under attack and and this is going to get in the way of defending election meeting the advent can only start on the thirteenth of December so that it is not politically biased well sentencing I mean come on politically is that it's not gonna come round on the night of the twenty eight twenty nine and a quote from his official press release the next six weeks world has well what's the language he's compromised to a permanent end he was killed in a in a in undercover spy then analyzed to prove they were that it was technically him mosque in bondage kit also written positive samples and the Karaoke machine hacked into and at buried like his predecessor as well shit of the year Osama bin Laden at Sea Alibi Francois out showers will keep which one is going to have that level of insight into the intricacies Nisa did nate so so basically the America's turn he runs away and kills himself and and they're saying they killed law pressure trump bright praised this is lost the house through a very every wall they don't I use a door even I don't even look at that doorbell something that's it was like when it was so cool eight praised the A dog have you seen that picture was four in Vietnam rescued classified one minute and then not classified the trumpster is it does remind us to solve all the people now it's trying to know these it's morning yeah me almost as badly Tom's when I was working in that lawn sanctuary and I have to have to look after headlock dog so what is the dog community thinking now about trump's attitudes that's a hotly contested competition these days and so what quantum all the different skills on display from did of the Bonani politicians on the more classic fresh and politician route and gone vitry headline to start with a promising footballer another another thing really the the we know him for exactly being the leader. What what it's it's for Ito yeah that would be worth why wouldn't it would've changed things? Snakes thing is just to assassinate random people become the titans it's al-Baghdadi died like a coward and the transcript from the operation just released I love your work well they have named his his replacement replacing Al Baghdadi with Al John Haystacks autzen promising wrestler al-Qaeda she has yet to do is unveiling press conference like just Doping Agency the Badge airport have shown that blacks have grandiose delusions about themselves and a complete absence against feeling bad about themselves blanks are also prone to high level politicians a especially some current presidents and Prime Ministers F- movie moguls Jeep Primary as you in reading more Luke warm introductions I've had some of the nuns in the school teaches at Queens University in Belfast recess do the humble myself groundbreaking study on the impact on the human body and minding England to win a rugby World Cup we will find that how factor that is tomorrow won talking about before I went on systems that keep telling us how many special bouts I mean this is all we get into he's in dock and sheds and would actually be a step forward for humanity I'm old social it is it is it necessarily bad narcissism this is the this is this it does well as we're saying it depends how what you use your yeah and so much of what we have to do in life you've hi this is to have an also elland and you just put them the world but by December you want to go out and then oldies also watching out until all the ventner is washing up you come in we'll go to Kabul Stanton the harlot what now and as the Rugby World Cup final tomorrow morning this is well it ended with an England South Cup final that depends on who makes the final in the radio presenters this morning with an polling complacency an awful there's still work to be done here but yeah yeah is seventy Soviet missile parade in the scrum conceding a penalty that's largely the way South Africa goes about goes about that let them do the stalemate that Beltran to they they they basically a trade you might skip allegra captain by Calissi the first black captain of the rush the potential connick after just going well you know competitive what can you do to the orphanage in the year that yes they should be allowed to be I'm uh-huh welcomes the altogether AH during game five in the price is going down to the Houston Astros at which point voiced by own infantile nationals impressed by some higher being under the so who theater from the sixteenth of December two full of January until next time goodbye if rob Abram back relax absolutely nail the cryptic crosswords and occasionally consequence free. I should've lost a more interesting questions such as what if ducks could speak Russian okay domestic cats and dogs ni how does not think we would enjoy what we heard and host emotional support animals don't really give a shit about the lives of their owners even he uses an Internet radio to listen to travel bulletins from notoriously vehicle officials types before the term pen-pusher came into being perhaps Chisel chases and for people who only want to eat vegetables purely for reasons of taste but absolutely becomes a ghost she would be a positive encouraging one trying to support loved ones in the should be a compulsory period of meditation before anyone vote in any election or referendum eighty whether by marriage raffle surprise discovery of an antecedent he would like to title but it just sounds like that would be a hell of a lot of hanging around waiting that would note some you'll in nineteen fifties first lady of the USA Mamie Eisenhower ever climbed on her husband's added goodies.

rugby Ito Al John Haystacks Houston Astros Kabul Stanton titans Al Baghdadi Mamie Eisenhower Belfast England South Cup Queens University Luke England USA Beltran rob Abram connick Calissi South Africa
NutriMedical Report Show Monday July 8th 2019  Hour Two  Deborah Tavares, STOPtheCrime.net, Terraforming Earth, UN COGS Banks Insurance Greenies, Global ELE Extension Level Events, Water Shortages, Earthquakes from Fraking,

NutriMedical Report

53:50 min | 2 years ago

NutriMedical Report Show Monday July 8th 2019 Hour Two Deborah Tavares, STOPtheCrime.net, Terraforming Earth, UN COGS Banks Insurance Greenies, Global ELE Extension Level Events, Water Shortages, Earthquakes from Fraking,

"It's the doctor build eagles show presented by neutral medical dot com call one eight eight six four zero andrew boiling welcome to call in show and ask questions will stay on topic we have a difference of artists joining us and never always has amazing stories usually traveled to europe lots of things going on deborah what gender today well doctor bill on yes everyone is listening please go to stop the crime dot net frequent are you to video channel we have completed the posting of the five part series on the genocide documents outlining how murder is legal in how this happened all of us so so i would highly recommend you help us get this out far and wide we also have many you two videos up from doctor bill and i radio shows as well please frequent thee website because we discuss real documents in in real time until you what the time is in it is not good but without necessarily going in order of the most urgent aspects of what we wanna talk about a two day the day after the see fourth of july weekend when we had two massive earthquakes in southern california and we wanna talk about some of the reasons that these happened and dutch since hasn't excellent excellent video sequence up on that discusses this and it covers many of the things in the past doctor build it you and i have talked about clued the borehole drilling that activates earthquakes in also d m geysers thee 'em the guy that they literally a drill into 'em who created by the way these guys is the policy superheated water and it actually causes xyz earthquakes by triggering a sea change in the tectonic plates so as we know that there maybe i don't know if there's any drilling directly in that area where there was a matter of fact there are two geothermal plant right with in the range of the quake okay so in other words there's a direct link between the geothermal plant near earthquakes here just like apple approximate occurring in oklahoma is triggered offing earthquakes in oklahoma's well isn't it well that's absolutely true and we've talked about that many times in the past on the show so it's important for on when you hear about quakes and seismic activity a check out the lakes butter in the vicinity of these earthquakes because not only are they the seismic act to pivot he coming from the geothermal operations which are generally near the quakes is well because of the ring a fire in volcanic 'em areas but also this these quakes were near china lake and also the naval air weapons station so many people are looking at these a possibility that there were nukes set underground that potentially also activated this seven point point one quake started out quake on fourth of july is being reported as quaker six point six now by the way where you're pointing out very very important to realize we don't do airbrushed nuclear testing we all do deep underground and if they have in their fault though especially if there's hydro fracking or fracking because they're trying to pull off superheated waterford power generation what's the power corporation is involved in northern california's using the superheated water having geothermal sites and by the way under president trump chaos rise recycling this water this hydrogen sulfide that when it gets back into you're water supply kidneys concentrated and it makes it so concentrated rides and sulfide you could dissolve the porcelain in steel so in other words you could dissolve you're toilet with europe and people don't understand that obviously trump doesn't know the difference but the science is rather idiots that it will training underground nuclear testing or fracking fracking is dangerous it creates earthquakes doesn't it including reservoirs were goes earthquakes that water scott's right now because some of the things that people need to do when they hear about these in the manmade intentionally create a weapon systems that are being used on just to take think about it think think about where are they earthquakes do a search in that area where the nearest lakes are think about lakes many of the lakes are manmade so keep this in mind find fake lakes make quakes i did a search and i found that we have a very large huge lake in kern canyon where be 'em seismic hazard hazard characterists characterization of the current canyon fault for the isabel project in california and i looked this up isabel project that's called lake isabel actually it's it's say reservoir and it is say large large reservoir that serves hydro power for loss angeles and there was a study that i posted up on stop the crime dot net you can go to or email blast outs and you'll find the backup information about this quake along west a very excellent youtuber that was put together showing me a luma nadi significance of the dates in the in the reporting of the quakers initially being six point six and then that we've changed to six point four so you go again to the irish now you're saying there's neurological a significant it's like people secret ordered people can get to this information by going to stop the crime dot net to or email blast outs and you'll see the email entitled largest earthquake in decades hit southern california measuring six point four magnitude the two ends july fourth of two thousand nineteen and again originally reported as they six point six and you'll see embedded in that email an excellent youtuber that talks about the luminosity 'em aspects of the dates in this and everything that was reported about this quake and then we've attached information about a some concerns about thee lake isabel a earthquakes in reservoir inducement so we know we know that reservoirs are not necessarily reservoirs dams to contain are water and move it around a win we have primary water we we could actually pull it up fresh fresh in not exposed the atmospheric poisons through a an underground system as moammar kadhafi had done in radio anywhere you pointed out that the primary water is a the salaries in northern california's paul power and we will try again paul on the show i've done videos with paul on my new dramatical channel and i think you've heard some videos as well with paul a he's actually exports in the last sixty years i'm like sixty countries these trained people in other countries that i find primary water using radar and so on and endows in techniques and a i wanna sit on my radar stuff 'cause i wanna get primary water goes besides prepping for power and getting a backup for kilowatt generator if i've ever watched of solar panels i want august the surge protectors at a a we we were gonna put on her home but we we had a a you know are expert come on the program stand dale few weeks ago he's in bed he developed the pentagon the governor addressed somebody else you'd have water because the governor signed a cut off water supply or they're tried poisoned water supplies worldwide it's not just here thursday global if you wanna call terra forming now there's not follow up there and i'm gonna mention his name natural news adams and he's trying the space aliens terra firma there's no it's high level goal of us want her to swirl populations i aliens raymond of the human race because it's a damned evil but their audience they're bad people diners bankers in high level secret orders directs you doing things two years and it's flat and ecosphere this stupid and dangerous isn't it well i wanna say this about the earthquakes and then i wanna move onto five g because while we're being massively distracted by intentional earthquakes in all of these other intentional weaponized whether targeting that is occurring five g is rolling in faster than we can possibly imagine so i wanna make this comment again pertaining to the email blast outfit everyone confined unstop the crime dot net under the email blast out tab of what i want to tell you right now is an excerpt from a report we found a on page forty forty nine of this report that says the current gorge powerhouse which is kern river number one was built in nineteen oh two to nineteen o seven by the current river company and now operated by southern california edison who first online this was the largest hydro electric facility in the world providing electric power to los angeles and a steep rob drew brees shoot above it across the river now i want everyone to keep in mind southern california edison edison international is operated by rothschild l l c in company it is an operated taken utility as all are utilities are so again this this damn was put into operation it is able to travel a we have talked about the fact that there is information climate change aspects of these global infrastructure and how the global infrastructure will not withstand the level of climate change when in fact we all know that climate change is actually whether weapons so now i wanna get it's not just national events like a crowd of massive jacksonville the sun it's actually where they weaponize see whether of here's a lot of its policy to for example there insuring people so they can't be on the coasts larry or in rural areas where fires happen it won't hand trimmed back in extra rebuild their homes in northern california right well that's one layer of it absolutely another layer of it is they're changing the building planning codes were facing along a very wellknown a river the russian river which borders along bohemian grove and those people are going to find an incremental elimination of their property usage as a residential in in that a the codes are requiring new of policies for septic systems in sadly most of these properties of which there about seventy thousand a will be identified as having a the need for new septic systems which many of these people cannot afford many properties will be identified is not being able to conform to the requirements of the new septic system we will further this conversation i'm sure there's a shows doctor bill because this is very hot topic here also there a v commercial business owners are suing a a z property owner of a business park in sebastopol here's sixty miles north of the golden gate bridge when we were drenched with horrible floods back in february and literally wiping out they wastewater treatment plant which spew millions and millions of gallons of toxic contaminated wastewater treatment plant in any 'em in the lawsuit was discussed in the pay the newspaper here just a day or so ago they said that an atmospheric river parked above be a wastewater treatment laguna low lying areas and caused massive inundation of floodwater events that had never happened before so again well you know we know the management of of the dam which is mme up in northern california's up and property managers if there's a major flooding there it'll breakthrough in in destroying homes for a quarter million homes yeah lockout ordered held down by the way after governor will see drain journals had control the purse strings back then and this current governor gavin newsom is idiots and these people are collaborating on creating climate disasters duty populate are they well they're all part of the ball sadly were being inundated people still think that we have a system that we can participate in and change things we do not but i wanna roll into the find some people are deluded lee representative government model yes a doctor i got to move into five g because there is a very important video that was posted an m i watched it and i am converting it in posting it on stop the crime dot no video somebody else producer you're gonna put it over on your site yes i am in right now because it's not over on stop the crime dot net i want everybody to tighten you're you to video channel and you confined it right now and it's entitled the most important video you will ever watch share and a it discusses five g now a mark steele who i met when i was recently in london for the talk with discussing five g as it's been hold out in london and also the lapd lights and he mentioned a paradise as being a testing area and experimental zone for the use of these frequencies when seizes they're turned on an so i sent him an email suggesting that testing is over in experimentation is over and they eradicated paradise here in northern cal young addressing the they first place destroyed paradise grill i write a santa rosa earlier we get that scott do you have difficulty taking supplements are you searching for highquality complete nutritional drink measure whole family will love nuture medical blake support has arrived all of nutritional requirements in one quick delicious drink illegal blake's deported proprietary blend of protein activated vitamin central mineral probiotics green tea digestive enzymes antiinflammatories cancer prevention detoxification in a much more you're vani wind side you've heard this one before the bats complete nutritious meal replacement the market whether you are an elite athletes have post operative challenges chronic 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food if power goes out and you can't go the grocery stores workers emergency a national crisis so neutral medical dot com talk recommendation legacy food neutral medical dot com go shop by products and dropdown menu and say well with dramatical everyday of you're like loon fulltime therapy infrared light bar in their dream important for bank control to be nitric oxide group reviews in central activation reduction aside a guy doctor bill uses it for pain control for regeneration nation technique for oregon a generation enforce stimulation of their stem cell activity this amazing a looming fulltime therapies this year will probably having additional delays district could see therapies ernie on fezzes light to obtain time machine contact darker belt at neutral medical dot com triple eight two two eight eight seventy one still prescribe it wasn't providing nutraceutical helpless regeneration healing and pain control nothing like the lemon fulltime therapy for the easy therapy for your eyes 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or neutral medical dot com that's one triple eight to one two eight eight seven one or neutral medical dot com and listen to the major medical report on the genesis radio network with open lines every weekday neutral medical dot com bringing nutrition in medicine together dan welcome back and debra let's continue this analysis on a lot of people might think of this conspiracy theories well that that that phrase is actually better by the cia this is conspiracy facts and if the guardian website you earn amazing person and finding or documents and videos and so in the robbery this i would expert on directed energy weapons and scale radiation in fact i'm doing a lot of pioneering research on wanna buy all circuits and i think that a five g network acts using extinction level event i think of sexually lower the final layer of totalitarian control system overly we call the mark of the beast let's in the bible but it's also causing massive collapsed the mitochondria rugged biofilm a insects falling from the sky dying and birds people realize the five g is is nearly isn't it six well it absolutely is and i want to discuss that more because i wanna talk about again the video again entitled titled the most important video you will ever watch end it says share so i'm gonna discuss that and then i'm going to talk about some of see aspects of five g but i heard discussed when i went to the london conference where i participated in i would recommend and suggest everyone onto you to type in eight v that's for alternative view eighty ten and you should be able to start watching these videos the came out of that conference not only mind but mark steel as well and i would highly recommend that you listen to mark steel ac tuna what's his back ronin what countries from yeah he he's i i'm not prepared to give you his bio but i will tell you that everyone can listen to him at the eighty ten video he discusses his bio then he isn't x expert in microwave warfare in actually inventing some of the weapons systems that were used on battlefields that's why when he saw the lapd lights being deployed in gateshead in the uk he knew that that was part of the weapons system so i'm gonna talk about that because this is what we need to know certainly here in the united states and elsewhere were having these battlefield implementation rolled out in the lapd lights a rolled out as well so what we learned in london in what you will learn also in this very important a most important video you will ever watch that's the name of it is that of course are homes are all over energized in the powerless of these frequencies the powerless frequencies indoor and outdoor are home cook meat indoors and outdoors with the microwave and cooks us is well and you were talking about some of the facts and the biological effects of electromagnetic frequencies but it's not just a thermal effect see one of the defense is that the industry tries to say doesn't have thermo effects nonsense affects her epigenetics and a we know the battlefields of the future drones like the latest spiderman movie weaponized with directed energy weapons they're not gonna be bullets or mortar and so owner even scarier explosives they're gonna be directed energy weapons that they targets of other human flesh and other life forms and that's where people understand stand as this is they weaponized a system that's gonna be deployed in homes they change regulations in america home set clear repeaters for the five g is being put in major cities like loss angeles and sacramento and other cities it's being rolled out right here in northern california's santa rosa were eyeless an five g is being liberal now people are basically on aware that utility poles are part of aid battlefield network that has been set up and all under control of the ball in so are utility poles are being used as part of z weapons a on the ground application and i wanna talk more about what you will learn in that you to and you'll learn it right now parts of it from me they talk about the mini cells and street lights and how they cause i cancers and it is part of an extinction weapons system they go on to talk about how they electromagnetic pulse will disrupt are bodies molecular cohesion and we will vaporize much of that we saw happen in a in a paradise during the fires where people were literally vaporized in there is a case in the uk of young boy who developed a extremely unusual cancer and again it was extremely rare in only attributed previously to radar operators so this is again showing busy extension of the death raise that were being targeted by streetlights to or faced a raise and they're being rolled out covertly in are neighborhoods throughout the entire world and 'em the white house has been discussing how the u s will survive these electromagnetic pulses in when the grids go down intentionally excetera oh it was also discussed that there was an attempt to turn on the five g and i found this very interesting during they 'em a ac ten conference in korea and i believe the date was april the fifth of two thousand eighteen five cities started to burn simultaneously when they flipped on these five g grid end what mark is suggesting is that paradise was a multilevel attack an experiment certainly we know that the rural areas are being intentionally burned up we see it on the burnham up lists the cal fire list that puts out of their areas of extreme fire intense zones that will also affect insurance but we also know that they are deploying these frequencies to kill us we have to keep in mind that five g equals for ge times sixty five thousand it's just like the difference between these six point six earthquake that we had on july the fourth versus the seven point one we had a couple of days later enormous difference but the five g is widening out of the spectrum in the sub waves and what i found very interesting is the five g does not need to go as close to our homes is we're being told it is an extinction level frequency so naturally they want these to be as close to her homes is possible were also learning now that they 'em the foliage the trees were being told her being cut down to allow the five g millimeter waves to gain access indoor homes this is really not necessary because thee of frequencies go through any and everything they go through concrete they go through steel they get in it gets indoor homes were finding out and learning that the removal of trees he's is to remove the fact of the trees are dying and they don't want people to see how the trees are being affected by these frequencies because we would see it eliminate the visual a death machine because again this is to eliminate all biological life on this planet in this infrastructure will kill everyone in again all biological life and they talk about how the switch was on again i believe the date is april fifth of two thousand eighteen in career it was just see the resilience of the power network but it failed just as it did in paradise that's what mark steel is saying about the paradise fires here in northern california's so it was a multi layered attack to test the system what i found also interesting is that the plan for localized battery storage end electric vehicles is is part of the plan of resilience of the weapons system so we know that dependent upon how your solar panels are connected if they are connected to why fi is they are connected to the utility company if you are sending back power you are eight weapons system you have to be off the grid completely with no con activity to the internet of things no why fi and no connection to to the rothschild chill grid that has been set up will talk about that also in later shows but i wanna continue on with this because he only de antennas are designed to sweep areas with a scanner and they kill people that is what is happening now in a we were told to that 'em a some people in the uk took apart one of the lapd streetlights street lights in which cours nose bleeds in the area where these street lights are deployed and they talked to a number of streetlight installers and then were actually given one of the streetlights that they dismantled told and they found that the light manufacturing specs are not real the specs sheets of the printed specs sheets are lies so you were not able to find out what is is really happening with how we would have found out things in the past because this is a salt weapons kill grid that is being set up and were being lied to on every every level so we have to ask ourselves it's why the telecoms they're designing equipment to look like something it's not an five g is a weapon so are the cell phone towers designed in disguise just trees so the sub frequencies are destroying the concrete of nuclear plants dams bridges excetera income penetrate are homes in the frequencies create structural degradation now we've talked about this in the past everything is energy all energy is energy and you force energy against other energy particularly infrastructure end it causes degradation and that is what is also happening what's the collapse of the infrastructure of throughout the world not only is it whether weapons being used but it's also so busy radiation from fukushima that is dismantling infrastructure as well as they increase frequencies this five g is a is they weapons system in again it is most important that we know in sadly billions and billions of people are gonna die in that is an extinction sean level event oh you and i doctor bill have gone over the kill policies the genocide policies one of which discusses how a united states will be reduced in population by eighty three percent by the year twenty twentyfive so i wanna talk more about 'em aspects of five g a people do not understand these normandy of where this is coming from an i think that people need to know that it's not just a a pie in the sky thought that is being rolled out by the telecom industry oh no no no this is backed by massive corporate money worldwide in a we found some very interesting information on eight c t i ate twitter and the c t i ate twitter a talks about the wireless history history andy it talks about we bring together i dynamic group of wireless companies that enable consumers to leave they twentyfirstcentury connected life and they go on to talk about how a locally you could think about smart a communities and how they're bringing together capabilities venues in campuses are examples nationally we see things like gaming and drones service in until a health are also going to be big opportunities and they go on to say ever ever wonder why in the blink of an eye you're wireless device consent attacks order takeout or adjust the temperature of your house from thousands of miles away but have you ever wondered how by the way we have we have a caller it looks like a a go ahead a caller what is your question then for denver myself go ahead so apparently the caller is not responding in a timely fashion doctor bill so i look at this is a potential waste time so unless this starts the time and i think one of the things we have to do is the timeline icy is were heading toward october next year twenty twenty and these systems are supposed to be put in place in the next two years are say well that's and that's why they're pushing this so quickly end this injure connective twitter that i got into a talks about how wireless connectivity let's pilots view eight drone end its surroundings from a bird's eye perspective users can also leverage apps to preprogrammed specific gps coordinates and create an automated flight path for drones goes on to talk about how drones work in they talk about how nebraska a in the united states became the twenty fifth state to modernize infrastructure rules half of the state's recognize these opportunities of five g conductivity by adopting new citing reforms forums so people think that weaken stop this there's lots of misinformation there's lots of of media outlets out there that are saying that certain cities have created moratoriums against five g i stopped that is not true no one no one has stopped five jeep period brussels has not stopped five g mill valley in other locations here in northern california have not stopped five g and went to work the politico and the human compromised families of skull and bones aluminum body and all the rest i recently interviewed someone that came amount of a skull and bones family but no it obviously at the time when they were being brought up and talked about what the dinner conversations were in these families this family was largely behind a planned parenthood introducing a birth rates then that would include of course splitting toxins in the water supply in the air and everything else but also just an amazing males in lowering male sperm count infertility and all right yeah they're so when i was talking to this person i gained a very insightful understanding of how these families operate because these families are many their worldwide and they are part the ball on the lower level and they're put into these positions certainly in in universities where it's called the tap system is in tom eight pete tap system you get literally tapped on the shoulder is you make the grade to become a member of these societies in new york for the ball but yet tremendous economic benefits you're children get to go to the premier schools you get a guards in private planes when you go to a ski resort in switzerland you don't go where the rest of the people ski you have an exclusive you go to hi i'm doctor build eagle md am ac eight am eight four am of neutral medical dot com and a consultant providing email advice free advanced protocols for you're demise wellness and advanced technologies to heal and regenerate you contact contact us at neutral medical dot com that's n u tier i medical dot com or eight eight eight two one to eighty eight seventy one get free email starter protocols of our top medical grade nutraceutical initial testing and the recommendations for your own primary doctor doctor to do as well as recommendations to give you an idea of a consultation and a full protocols and try to help you regenerate tissues heal naturally without the use of toxic poly pharmacy i contend tests gets to you as well anywhere in the world and provide you recommendations referrals specialty clinics worldwide so contact me doctor building at neutral medical dot com that's n u tier i medical dot com or eight eight eight two one two eighty eight seventy one at neutral medical dot com we have the most amazing drinks with best both bill highest quality bio nutrient of exposure pure body to heal and regenerate and they a most powerful persistence of nutrients to heal your body dramatic we have ageless which makes you age age less repairs you're dna injured telomeres etc we have life support the detox is face to detox pathways quicker on a nation salvation and methylation about this important we've advice he makes the blocks of carbohydrate absorption help with diabetes for weight loss as well helps with people they're trying to build a possible using things like are special formulas doctoroff called mega muscles between males along with sports energy like we have amazing new complete played the most complete red and green green strength in the world but the best multi bill and flavor you got off in mexico to butter mineral mix which is are fruit flavored mixing power of vitamin stay well new dramatical everyday i remember having who had we have a question about easily have they questioned screen so tomas are board she put the question out first before we bring in mind because you don't interfere with the will see very limited time we have a full hour as you could tell deborah just rolls roles roles she has a ton of information to pour out so i will wait for that question go up on the board before you authorize go ahead thank you bill so is most important for people understand the level of the financing behind the five g a what is also happening right now i i had a question come into my website speaking of questions and i reviewed this question because this person said that they wanted me to take a look at this these documents that they sent and they said they attended a meeting a back in june of two thousand nineteen announced several questions and could not get announcer and they said this has a gender written all over it so oh no i wanna explain that right now because they had some pdf's detached i open them up and i reviewed them and i'm gonna go over some of what a these pdf's contained but i want to also tell everyone that the five g network is going to be fine announced in this i found interesting as i was researching that question a they talk about closing the infrastructure gas gap and how a data agenda this is h d d i s agenda recognizes now have you ever heard of their data agenda before if you haven't you need to know this is behind investing in sustainable development and resilient infrastructure this is just as shattering as it gets to find out all of a method in which think organizations are literally destroying us yeah but there's no doubt you've been documented this they're doing us insurance carriers through public policies scott cogs witcher united nations they're doing this global banks i mean they're doing some every avenue possible it's not just one but it's a multi pronged attack isn't it absolutely and that's what i am certainly trying to convey so that people understand the enormity many in the bandwidth of which were being attacked but this is interesting i found this on that same website but i wanna get into some of these other things but i discovered by the way we do have a caller the questions extra pretty simple andrea is her name is paul let go ahead paul that would you a quick question for deborah but a different want you gotta just summarize what you think is important question and you know she raises go ahead mike question why do they want to eliminate eight all biological live okay go deborah dose of what you think well well they're releasing where were definitely paulette being replaced we know that there is they trans humanism agenda and we know that to be couple ball a wants to control all land so they're stealing it from us they believe that they have stolen everything from us square it's multilevel paulette i would urge you please to watch the five part series youtuber said i have up on stop the crime dot net because i answer that question there right now in the few minutes remaining a i cannot go into that in any great detail other than to say we're all the targets target of elimination you're not like it's not like mike adams says what aliens is now the letter demonic lee energized the globalist bankers billionaires hell you want to be a pilot is thank you for your call but urge you please to listen to that five part a youtuber serious serious okay so i wanna continue to talk about what we discovered as i wasn't answering this question for somebody who who sent in these pdf's so i'm gonna redo some of the things i found in these pdf's in it is really unbelievable in a and then i looked into the current a newly revised climate action plan called the pennsylvania climate action plan november two thousand eighteen and it was a they say it's eight draft forum prepared from pennsylvania department of environmental protection it is diabolical but let me continue with this so as i was looking at the pdf's i found these things in the pdf and this is what this person went to meetings and couldn't understand it wasn't advisory group and they're confused by these meetings and again i discussed this in the five part video series that i have a but it says that u s military transition assistance program called tap again another top programme a transitional you know assistance program for recruiting efforts all look outside of the region look outside of l a county has storage a shortage of workers and could expand to other countries with a workforce they they agree was attracting technical workers from other countries emphasis on employment based programs so what i wanna say is were finding here in the rebuild after the fires and thousands of homes and businesses says having been destroyed were finding people that are brought in as craftsman in workers from latvia nb on an a it goes this goes on to talk about green energy and alternatives to fossil fuels i want to underscore this all of these plans talk about fossil fuels that is the baseline code foray plan that is a genocidal because we never ever got are petroleum from fossil fuels when you reid fossil fuels reid and understand the plan is genocide it's resource reduction here's what else i discovered it said this in this plan this fellow sent a winter weather severe winds and flooding in wildfire in extreme temperatures are the most threatening natural hazards cited in the local hazard mitigation plans now i wanna say right now that's a pretty scripted in all the climate action plans i have found again severe winds flooding wildfires extreme temperatures are the most threatening this is what we face is they global society everywhere every city every place throughout the entire world they go on to talk about 'em a that they the climate action plans are foundations to the to the meeting you attended and they go on and i go over more climate action plans but what i also discovered was they say that adopt fund eight tony wide code enforcement program this will include hiring fulltime code enforcement staff members in addition work with municipalities to review or create local ordinances property maintenance codes governing property maintenance work with homeowners year round and seasonal to encourage the use of homes for tourist lodging an update ordinances to ensure municipalities receive a political taxes axes when people rent out their homes in addition explore the use of tear ground or other privately owned land to create new opportunities for visitor lodging continued to deploy boy and support lake county and regional cellular end broadband deployment strategy to include 'em convening a task force that inventories he's existing infrastructure identifies anchor customers end proactively engages service providers now these were in the plans they talk about green agenda financing's i also was stunned to find this out because there have been many levels of theft of course in the coffers the world coffers in a i found on another a united nations website but but they're actually going after the return of stolen assets from some of these corporations so that they can fund their green agenda enroll out these genocide plans this is how part of the financing sing is going to be gathered to literally implement these plans and it says return of stolen assets it says the recovery in return of stolen assets has been referenced for instance financing for development outcomes since the monterey consensus have any of you have heard about the monterey consensus and the return of stolen out some snow and it says it has been identified any but a death agenda again hdd i us agenda as crucial element towards the financing of the twentythird the twenty thirty agenda for sustainable development we are being financing's into into oblivion into extinction and i find repeatedly documents after documents after documents that talk about through the united nations c i a mouse in the global controllers that are inhuman in the sense that they have no morality no ethics and no concern for life itself she'll be in human aspect of humans that william rotting these death these deaths on out on this one comment what we're seeing is they wanna push trans humanism you wanna reduce world population ninety five percent they wanna tear from new orleans the city of my book by the way mike adams says he's going to a big conferences september but then all this data is not aliens it's evil humans are basically parts of ancient secret orders and they've decided that they they know where on the crux of learning conquering aging disease i have a lot of the technology right now under tremendous including my padded red deer velvet genetic frequencies i'm an expert on scale radiation head above top secret clearance i could tell you you're absolutely correct every avenue when people say like i have some conspiracy nut balls at one attack you and go to attack why do you have that roger show because deborah's wise she knows what's going on she is likely injured you know debra the generally female general in nature in israel you're facing the the the truth of this and the fact is the population by a large when the regular uncovering and even fox i noticed a fox news is gonna have you on i would love that back contact and get you out of there because i think people don't realize it even while policies like we agree with some of the things say a one side of the other got more locating the names there's bad policies on both sides and that's what's happening there racing toward the global new world order with five g network and the tell tell train police state even amazon these other companies are directly collaborating and they control the media olive meanwhile the water the waters that are being delivered into our homes are highly poisonous there have been some recent reports showing that there have been increased competition is found in all water supplies throughout the country as as well as other types of pharmaceuticals likely not only being dumped into the room and they reservoirs because we were told the wastewater treatment plants in the reused waters of or you're in sequel material in pharmaceuticals suit of goals they were literally gonna start dumping wastewater treatment of fluent into the above streams and rivers so that could slow in to the reservoirs and create aid blend and then be pumped into our homes again again it's most important to understand that these reservoirs are now in are going to be used as part of the booby traps system they are they're being used to blend you're going you're in in pharmaceuticals and serve it and pump it in well as well as taking down blowing up at if you will through seismic activity and shaking of these reservoirs and they use of directed energy weapons as well as the increased frequencies better literally dissolving all matter and that's what's happening in so far we're losing it actually has never expect the shutdown jeans you just shut down specific genes and killing insects insects a very radio sensitive so were having an insect or ends on the logical apocalypse happening right now combination of human died she is scale radiation smart meters why fi networks and glenn towers and now at five g everywhere this is totally nuts well i wanna add one more thing and it's a very important because i've been researching bridges and infrastructure and i'm finding out that many of the bridges in the rural areas throughout the country and elsewhere are not being repaired these bridges are intended to fail i also wanna point out that here in northern california we have hundreds and hundreds of people living in motor homes and rv is because of having been burned out and not being able to replace their homes in the recent flooding when we get hit by additional fires were gonna have these are these clogging the very narrow roads that will be a z evacuation realm as people try to flee the flames were gonna get clogged with these are

murder california andrew europe five g two years eighty three percent ninety five percent twenty percent twenty fifth sixty years two day milk mill
Location Negotiation

Behind The Scenes: Stranger Things 3

21:59 min | 1 year ago

Location Negotiation

"I heard a rumor that you watched all the episodes of the umbrella academy before listening to this podcast. Otherwise things things mean this loyalty kilkeel killed. Just a few scenes into the third. EPISODE OF UMBRELLA Academy. season. Two. We See von you driving alone down a dark country road. It's pitch black? No. Street lamps. But up ahead she notices the headlights of a stalled out milk truck. In the darkness, she can just make out a Milkman with white blonde hair standing in front of his truck. and. That's when the shooting starts. because. This isn't a Milkman. He's one of the Swedish assassins who have been tracking down the. Academy. panicked. Drives often swerves into a ditch. She runs into a Cornfield with the week, right behind her. The corners tall ahead above all of them and it's She winds her way through the rose trying to hide. There's a lot to pay attention to in this scene, but perhaps the most impressive thing is something you haven't even thought about. The corn. Like the costumes and the music, this Cornfield was created just for the world of the umbrella academy. My Name's Christopher Kohler on basically a farmer and try, and that's what I do for my living I work with my my father, my brother into my son's. Chris burkholder is the man responsible for the. Cornfield. Here's a few farms just outside of Toronto grow corn and soybeans and wheat, and then we host agricultural location filming. You might think that something like A. Chase. would be shot inside on a sound stage or with the green screen. But it turns out when you WANNA run through corn, it's best to use the real thing. But for the umbrella academy, it couldn't be just any cornfield. The location manager. Andrew Sullivan had a few very specific requests. He told me what they were looking for a little bit. They were looking for. Sunset opportunity over the one hill. and. Perhaps, they're going to be thinking about some crop circles. So they started planting. It's about an acre or around thirty, four, thousand stocks when the corn started to grow no-one on the umbrella academy team. believe that it would be tall enough by the time it came to shoot. Corn was maybe literally ankle high like it was very, very short right at this point. But Chris Expert at he knows his crop. Well, it goes from that to. Pretty much twelve thirteen feet tall like that's how quickly it grows her. Good thing too because just over a month. Later, lights were up and the cameras were rolling. And in what had just a few months earlier been an empty field. Vanya was now running away from Swedish assassins and blasting them away with her powers. Leaving behind a crop circle for five to find. Good to see a power stone. Tact. Scott. This is behind the scenes, the umbrella academy season two. I'm your host Brandon Jenkins. And on today's episode, we're taking a look at how to make place feel very, very real for TV. We're going to meet the set designers, art directors, and location managers who took a small town in Canada and turned into a replica. Of Nineteen. Sixties. Dallas Texas. Then we'll take you inside one of those buildings to show you how the sets can help tell the story of a character. When the crew umbrella academy sat down, almost two years ago to start planning their second season. They knew they would need to essentially take over an entire town to bring their vision to life. There are two main parties in any location negotiation action. First. There's the town itself. Hamilton historically was a bit of a manufacturing town. It was known as a steel town that was the major industry and overtime manufacturing has sort of gone away. It's it's really become a very diverse economy, Kim. ADROVER's lives in Hamilton Ontario about an hour south of Toronto, she's a senior project manager on the Hamilton. Film Commission. The group that helps bring TV and film productions to town, and our role is always just to facilitate. So get the conversations going get the right people at the table advocate for the production to get those permissions in place. On the other side of the table is the umbrella academy locations team. Okay. So my name's Malcolm macculloch I I A long-term location manager in Toronto Ontario, and this is my second season on umbrella academy for the umbrella crew Hamilton had locked going forward. It's industrial vibe is actually pretty similar to Dallas's from decades ago and for the folks in Hamilton. Bringing in a production, the size of umbrella academy can come with all sorts of benefits. It's fun to play spot the Hamilton. Location. Really develop for helps reinforce a sense of pride within the. Community. But then there's really tangible concrete ways as well that it helps. So money is Louis, but it's not all upside. There are real issues to town has to consider their concern is just with losing parking losing foot traffic being able to to do the business that they normally do heading into production for this season. Malcolm. Needed to secure at least two city blocks. So what we see is Dallas, an umbrella is actually Ottawa St in downtown Hamilton I. Always think of locations is like you have thirty seconds to gain someone's trust. If I'm not someone storefront or at the residence, it's like there's someone at your door and you have to convince them that you can work together. Malcolm is responsible for all the negotiations when it comes to using locals, homes, offices, and municipal areas for filming. But leading into the first visit, it was probably the most stressful time in my life. I think aged rapidly in those two or three weeks leading up to. What was going to be Ottawa St, and then there was this alleyway which became my hardest negotiation, which was only an alley way. The owner was trying to get some kind of restaurant in there. We'd have these dramatic negotiations at the very beginning because if we didn't get that place, we couldn't make our movie that. became a rival alley. The spy were each sibling lands once they get dumped out of time. It's the family meeting spot, a major set-piece and an important for the show. But Malcolm did secure these places allow. For Ottawa St. He enlisted some help poorly knots and she worked on Ottawa Street from the middle of February until the end of November and her role. was just to be with those people all the time. My job is it's a hand holder. I'm a therapist. I have to walk people through things that they've probably could never imagine this is coralie and as the on the ground representative of the locations, team. She was responsible for getting spaces ready for filming in keeping the business owners. Happy. Especially when she had weird production requests. Take. For example, the store that became the butcher shop. We had to put a giant cow on her roof, the butcher shop. Is Melanie Anderson, and her stores actually painted bench that I had to call her landlord and say, Hey. We're doing a show. Is it? Okay. If we put a cow on your roof, a couple times a month as that sound. You can get a good glimpse of that cow about ten minutes into episode one when five blinks onto the roof of the butcher shop. While a cow on a roof seems like a strange ask. It's just one in a long this to changes team had to make. There's a gallery that we turned into a supermarket with bananas for Nineteen Cents. There was a sewing store. There's a little Italian restaurant. There was Another restaurant. So many restaurants it could be confusing. Customers would sometimes come into a store to get the listed sale only to find out, it was a set piece with the nineteen sixties price. Getting Street period. Ready was no easy task. It's something that I get a rush out of actually like it just became this Rubik's cube. Jenga? Whatever. Kind of like it became this thing where every time we got something, it would just turn into something else that we turned into like, Oh, we'll. We'll. Now. I need to get on the roof. Oh, now we need to. This whole wall and it wasn't the demands of our art department was the demands of the period. It was like you have to make everything look the same. So it was like take all the signs because they were trying to have it set in the sixties? Match certain looks. We were able to do some creative work like working with the art department to reproduce meter heads so that there was continuity between the studio, look look on the street or working with our street leading team to be able to. Flick Street lights on and off so that the modern led lights aren't GonNa be in the shot I. think because our show was so big and. The the dressing right down to the background performers, the cars. You know people would just stand on the street and complete. Aw that was something. So different like a period piece and right down to the details of even having the hydrants painted to the exact colors of what a hydrogen would look like in the sixties turns out there. Red Fire hydrants haven't always been the norm. Hydrants in the sixties repainted green and silver. So I had to send an email to the water department every time we were there to tell them that we're painting it because the hydrogens are color coded. So if is a fire, the Fire Department knows what the pressure is that comes out of the hydrants and what hoses they need to use. So that was also a safety concern as well. So I had to liaise with the water. Water, department all the time, and they were super helpful and and really really made my life easy up there while we were shooting, and at the end of the night, we'd have to pay the back to the Hamilton colors in order to transform town over like this. There are so many moving parts. It's like the circus coming to town, and while they're altering the location, it can be hard to imagine the places anything but set. But Jeff. King. An executive producer on the show remembers the moment when the final detail came into place and all became very real two or three days before shooting when the art department had finished, putting up all the facades on the street and the vehicle team had put all the picture cars on the street and all of a sudden after that, the residents of Hamilton started to drift up and they all started to take pictures of themselves with the cars and the cars were like they were almost bigger stars than the actors at that point. The next thing that happened was we. We started to have a few people come onto that street who were dressed in clothing from the fifties and sixties, and all the sudden. The transformation really became complete, and at that moment I think we looked at each other and said, wow, how this is gonNa work. Ultimately, the crew spent so much time in Hamilton over the course of the year. In some ways, they became locals themselves that crew foreign, these incredible relationships, they new everyone on the street by it by their first name, they would know their back stories, I mean more. So than me as someone living in Hamilton and. Corley. For example, you know lives a few hundred miles away from Ottawa St and still comes back there every every time she needs her hair done because of the relationship she formed with a hairdresser on the street by my grocery shopping, I would. Eat out there. I was basically living in in in Hamilton. So a lot of US became sort of part of the local community. 'cause we were there every day hats off to Hamilton can never praise them enough about eighty percent of this season was shot on location in and around Hamilton, which is quite a feat. But let's zoom in on a space that was built from scratch for the show and explore what the second tell us about the person who would live in that space. Perhaps. The most important set piece and season two belongs to one of its new characters. Elliott, the conspiracy theorist. From, the Pentagon, definitely, not the FBI. Can't you? Be? You know it? It's tempting to reduce Elliott to sort of like. To. A, nutjob. To to a ding bat but No, I think. He's I. Think he's Super. Fun. This is writer, Rob Askins. His shop serves as a home base and a home away from home for the siblings as they as they enter this this new and very different timeline. Yeah, you think about the Great Superhero headquarters, right? They serve that. To. Say the, but they serve the function of the friends coffeehouse, and so it's great to have a headquarters where it's like you don't because the thing that you want the thing that you really WanNa, see you really want to see your characters in the same place bickering about what just happened in the last episode. You WanNa see the make jokes wanted to see them get angry at. At each other, and it's just it's more efficient. If there's a place to be the more, we started to know about who Eliot was and what this space was used for. We realized it was like the ground-based four, the siblings to come to, which was very similar to the academy and first. Year. In the Living Room Natasha. Pesha is one of the art directors on the umbrella academy. And it's her job to take the writer script and bring it to life on a sound stage. And that was such A. Big Extravagant. very, visual set. And we knew we had to do something to be on the same level as that if not exceeded. So from the beginning, it was always had to be our big grand sat. It was the eye candy piece check out the scene in episode one. When five first blinks into Elliott's apartment, he pours himself. A Cup of coffee makes himself at home and takes a look around the living room is filled with electronic equipment like ham radios and the walls are covered with ufo sightings newspaper Clippings in magazine articles you ever heard of. Area. Fifty One Roswell Damn. WHOA. You always knew we weren't the only ones. He saw conspiracy everywhere. If you look on the Wallace plastered with everything from UFO's to government conspiracies to all these different things that he was looking into, there's a lot of ufo stuff on the walls and some of which are ones are art department actually create it because a lot of the UFO's clearance conspiracy theorists don't really WanNa be known. So defined the source of those, this is kind of hard. So we actually had our guys throwing plates up in the air and taking photos of the and doing all these little things to try get these UFO, imagery is out there. But conspiracy is only one aspect of this apartment. If you pay attention other parts of his story, come to light when we design and build a set were telling a story. The sets. The mood. Excuse. The double words four, the scene. This was about showing who Eliot was because in dialogue, you don't, you don't know who he is. He's just this guy that sees the kids pop up in an alley and is a little crazy and things they're aliens and but you don't have any backstory whereas with the Saturday gives the character that it sets. The mood at tells a story, it creates a world in which these characters exist. have been tracking anomalies in the atmosphere just waiting waiting for what? For you. For All of you. Production designer mark steel collaborated with the writers to come up with the full back story of the space. Originally. It was Elliot's father's dental office, which means that there had to be evidence of that backstory lying around. In. Episode. Four. season. Two. Lutheran. Elliott spend a whole scene getting high on nitrous oxide courtesy of the leftover dental equipment. Get all this stuff. My Dad. Was a dentist. Is Place in his will when he died. After Elliott inherits the building, he tries to turn the downstairs into an electronic shop. which meant the team had to search across the country for nineteen sixties televisions. This is set decorator. Jim Lambie. That was a real hunt to get dot many televisions in that kind of shake. To be able to sell the idea of it being a TV shop. So that was a lot of work on the telephone. Los Angeles stuff in a lot of new. York's to get us there for Elliott's apartment. Jim had his work cut out for him. He not only has to bring in the conspiracy aspect, the dental history and the electronic store. He's also got to represent the idea that someone lives in space someone who's a recluse a hermit. Someone who's in those rooms twenty, four seven. It's not necessarily pieces so much as it is sort of like. Creating a complete world where you would have no reason to leave where you have everything at your fingertips. So that sort of those things we think about when we're in creating his face for character. I. Mean Sounds Pretty Familiar. It's all Elliott we all Elliott now. Earlier this year, almost the entire industry of television production shutdown. Any part of making TV that required multiple people being in the same room became a challenge in the wake of the global pandemic. Entire. Cities whose economies are built on making television film came to a halt. Hundreds of thousands of people are out of work. Among the parts of the industry most affected now and possibly forever. Our locations. This aggravates again with the Hamilton. Film Commission obviously right now nobody's filming. So we're thinking ahead to how businesses gonNA, look in the new reality, what they're potentially going to need from us the great news for Ontario is that we've been. You know relatively okay through this pandemic. So we're just sort of looking at what new spaces we can open up for film. How can we think like a location manager and try to make life easier by identifying film friendly businesses, parking holding in prep areas, unique locations. Talking to partners in the community who may be aren't able to do business as normal right now and gauging their appetite to host film, and while we hope that everything will go back to normal that will find a vaccine and figure out ways to be safe and groups again. It's also a real possibility that things won't ever be the way they were before. that. The way we make television will forever change. In the way the world is built for the screen will depend much much less than the physical world around us. It's a worry for locations manager Malcolm, macculloch. So visual effects, department. This is what I'm kind of scared of kind of feeling like. This whole world that we're living through right now that the visual facts is starting to take over what locations is, and this is what technology has become and. I feel like through what's happening right now is that locations are becoming more and more visual and less physical. It's a huge predicament if you can build a place on a computer, for example, a cornfield and keep people safer. Is, that going to become the new normal, if TV, production. Or is there something lost when you can't run through the rows and rows of crops that were grown just for the show? And what happens to the people who live and work in those places year round. Like Pharma Chris burkholder. Or Hamilton resident came Because in the end, it's not just the places that make the experience special. But the people help bring those places to life. Next week on behind the scenes, we take a look, the music of umbrella academy, how it's made? How it's chosen in house use in the show, and once the lockdown happened I. had to figure out how to record our our orchestra, which is is pretty big. Crank the volume on the music. The music is a character and they're like, no, no, it doesn't make twice at guys. Turn it up on spotify. I have a playlist that's about like five hundred songs right now, and then I kind of heard this song by ad. Velvet underground ish type song, maybe a little bit like rolling stones too, and so when I went home, I started recording that song behind the scenes. The umbrella academy is a Netflix Pineapple Street studios production. I'm your host. Brandon Jenkins. If you liked what you heard. We subscribe rate and review this podcast. Thanks for listening.

umbrella academy Hamilton Ontario Elliott Malcolm macculloch Hamilton Dallas Toronto Hamilton Brandon Jenkins Chris burkholder writer Milkman Film Commission Eliot Ontario Christopher Kohler Andrew Sullivan A. Chase. Canada spotify
Coronavirus Update: The Rise of Pandemic and Conspiracy

Stuff They Don't Want You To Know Audio

1:13:59 hr | 1 year ago

Coronavirus Update: The Rise of Pandemic and Conspiracy

"Here's the thing. Saving money with Geico is almost better than playing pickup basketball. Because? There's always that guy who joins your game. He never passes the rock. He constantly brings threes, and who completely hack you, and then put his hands up and say no foul, no foul with Geico it's easy to switch and save on car insurance, no need to fake an ankle sprain because you're absolutely exhausted so switching save with Gyco. It's almost better than sports. The btk killer Dennis Rader was. Was Dogcatcher married with Children Wayne Casey doubled as a clown at children's birthday parties. Ted Bundy was a lost. Eat they all blended in. I'm Nancy grace host of PODCASTS, Crime Stories with Nancy Grace, and our new original concept killers amongst us where we break down the most evil crimes and focus on unsolved homicides year crime stories with Nancy Grace on the iheartradio APP or wherever you get your podcasts. From. UFO's psychic powers government conspiracies history is riddled with unexplained events. You can turn back now. or learn the stuff they don't want you to know. A production of IHEART breezy. Hello welcome back to the show. My name is Matt. My name is. They call me Ben. We're joined as always with our super producer. Paul Control Deck and most importantly. You argue you are here and that makes this stuff. They don't want you to know. This is our Karuna Virus Kovic nineteen episode or part two in what unfortunately will be a continuing series. As. We've been doing recently we wanted to wanted to connect with our fellow listeners on twitter, so it's time again for twitter call. Today's message comes from Grummin six hundred. Who says? New Jersey man charged with terroristic threats for allegedly coughing on wegmans worker. It's a headline and then he sends us a link and that Wegmans I think is a chain of grocery stores. In New Jersey. Yeah, that's that's correct this. This tweet was interesting to me because it's part of a larger conversation. That's happening now at least in the US and it's the idea that. People who are knowingly positive for Covid, nineteen and choosing to go to public gatherings or public spaces may be charged with under laws that would ordinarily apply to terrorism as wild as that sounds. That is in the cards with sort of like If you knowingly have HIV, and you know in fact, someone without telling them that you can be charged with a crime for that absolutely right right, right, yea! The most extreme example of that so far as we record, which we should say is Wednesday march twenty. Fifth. The the most extreme example of that came from Japan where there was a single, a single male individual got tested knew he was positive for Covid nineteen and purposely went out to all the bars and restaurants he could find to try and spread it very strange, very strange, a God, our next twitter shoutout comes from Frankie. Fire, who is written into the show before Frankie you said currently catching up on some conspiracy stuff episodes and listening to the one on cove nineteen from a few weeks ago as a strange experience, it's like a time capsule of the moment. Right before everything went. Went crazy and you know this. This struck a chord with me and I was wondering if it struck a chord with you guys. As well I went back, and we listened, and we did the best we could with the facts we had. Yeah it most certainly like a time capsule we I remember because what it took about a week for that episode to publish after we recorded it, and we could feel we could feel the winds of chains coming as we were waiting for it to get out there in the wild, and by the time it went live, we were like wow. Wow this has really evolved since then, and now it's almost like a completely different situa- completely different world that we're living in That's why we're making this episode. You know what's interesting to me. is how quickly our brains? To normalize the completely abnormal Maybe it's just me, but even like going and walk grocery stores now. Everyone's wearing these you know. Rubber gloves in these masks and. I don't find myself recoiling in you know complete and utter terror literally had my kid with me at the grocery store and I'm seeing this. And Somehow your brain kind of tricks you into thinking. This is like normal. All of a sudden you know. And it feels like something out of a science fiction movie. Yeah, it's an interesting quirk of our species. We've talked about it a little bit. In the past. It's astounding and no small part disturbing. How quickly things become normalized? That's why we throw around phrases, the new normal and so on. It also makes me think of the. The old. What's that old saw that takes twenty one days to form a habit and twenty one to break one. It's interesting I. Don't know if the science backs it up, but it is true. You're usually about seven days away from something. That would have sounded crazy last week being absolutely status quo the next week, and it's something you know. I'm glad you brought that up. Because it's something we need to remember not just us podcasting and not just us listening, but everyone. We know we need to remind them that. This doesn't have to be the normal we're. We're going through some crazy times, but the fight's not over yet. In fact as we'll learn in today's episode, the fight very real way is just beginning. Would you guys agree though certainly I'm oscillating between? Feeling like this will be our new normal and when I say that I don't mean necessarily. Being sequestered at home, but the the new steps we take in interacting with each other. On, a personal basis on something as simple as using headphones in a shared studio. Or you know when you think about getting takeout and maybe cleaning the bag or something or the containers? When you go shopping cleaning that before you bring it into your house. It does feel like we're so aware now of the possibilities. It doesn't have to be a pandemic for us to. Have these memories. Now know what we're going through will, and it's so visceral now because it's like it literally has just kind of reminded us how vulnerable we all are as humans, and if anything is just kind of like caused us to sort of rethink, not to sound too hippy dippy about it, but our place in the universe in how we're, it's also fragile. You know and like things could just take. Take a turn. Like on a dime like this, and it's just really kind of a wakeup call not not to mention some of the issues with the government and the issues with like healthcare and sort of bringing to full attention like how fragile our economy is, and how it just takes something like this. You know a germ to bring it all crashing down. I think that's the part that really freaks me out. Yeah, it's it's important to remember that despite our own. Incredibly narcissistic focus on the human species. We are one of a multitude of different life forms that lives here and. You know it's funny. Manoj talking about this on a an episode that came out recently about giants, and there was this this notion that came up in our discussion. About how Earth, especially if you go with a guy, a hypothesis, earth is a super organism. It is hungry, you know and the works of man are not near as permanent as we may like to believe. This is a level reset You know one of the most troubling things about the current pandemic is that we have to understand as a species, nations, ideologies religions aside that this sort of thing has occurred in the past. It will occur again. We can prepare for it. We can try to mitigate it, but we cannot prevent it. Something like this will happen again. We just happened to be alive at a time when histories being written in the. The first pandemic of the hyper connected age of social media and we're glad you're here. You know and we're grateful for it also back now for everybody who's listened to our previous episode on the Corona Virus We noted that due to the ongoing nature of the event we would inevitably need to return with an update a new look at how the pandemic of all, and I don't know if you guys went back and listen to that previous episode. Who the World Health Organization had not officially declared Cova nineteen pandemic, but it seems like all, but a done deal. Even when we were recording back then, so we'd like to do today is update you with the facts, fiction and conspiracy theories that are springing up across the planet in reaction to this global infection. So the best way for us to do that is to start with what we know. Today March Twenty Fifth Twenty twenty. Here are the facts, so let's just do a little bit of housekeeping with the kind of the. The lay of the land where we are today, we absolutely have better understanding of kind of a snapshot of what's going on globally, and it's not great It's pretty ugly. We have confirmed cases in the US. have surged tenfold likely over fifty thousand, as we record this episode, and the number of confirmed infections globally has reached a whopping, four, hundred, fifty, two, thousand, two, hundred and forty one right, and one thing that we don't hear about as often as perhaps we should would be the positive side of this. visit infection process, one hundred and thirteen, thousand, one hundred twenty one people are confirmed to have contracted corona virus, and to have recovered. Of course it's not all you know Angel Farts and trumpets and Harpsichord. have serious lasting damage to their respiratory system and the virus as we know is fatal. It's killed over eighteen thousand two hundred people around the world just so far, and it really is. It's astounding. In it's troubling, because those these are just the cases that we know. This is the thing that is really terrifying actually. Because! They're confirms numbers from people who got tested that we have identified as having this disease of being infected by this virus, and then having any kind of outcome whether recovery or even death, well as we know, a big problem is the lack of available tests, and how only people with really serious symptoms are even getting access to test, unless you're like Don cheadle or something, it seems like all kinds of celebrity news of people. People confirming they don't have it because they somehow got a test. I wonder if it's just like really expensive private healthcare how they get access to that, but in general US mortals are not gonna be able to get tested, unless we are presenting some serious symptoms and I read a study that you know there's so much stuff coming out every day, this may have been debunked, but that people who are ase symptomatic. Could well have higher viral load and are are are more prone to shedding the virus and spreading it. which which is a big part of why this quarantine thing so necessary because you just don't know who has it. Right. There are a couple points when it hit there i. I think I read some of the same stuff I know it's not. It's not one hundred percent proven, but even if that speculation turns out to be debunked, it's still a fantastic idea to sell vice late or whatever term your government is using to avoid saying the cue word. It's still a great idea to do that because you you don't have to. To I. Know It's a big ask, but don't worry necessarily about saving your own life. Remember that if if you don't care about saving your own life, remember that you may be saving the lives of literally hundreds of thousands of strangers just because of the way this thing transmits through carriers and I. Appreciate the point about testing. You're right, Matt, it is. The numbers that we have our sobering, but we should add that massive. Frankly terrifying caveat, those are only the confirm numbers, and they are much much lower than what's actually happening in a lot of countries including the United States to your point. No, the average person has no realistic chance to get tested for covid nineteen, and then, of course that means many many people are spreading. This infection just hit home. You know I predict that the numbers were going to see here in the US at least are going to be indicative of of a case that. It'll show us that someone you know. Has Or had had cove it? That's that's what we're going to look at. If we see the trends, and if we get some transparent numbers, which a lot of countries don't WANNA do Russia being one the United States another. So like blitz, let's look at the global trends I think I think we mentioned earlier, the official the official confirmed number of people who have contracted this. It's north of four hundred thousand, but what's important here is to realize how we arrived at that number so four hundred thousand something in the number keeps taking up all those four hundred thousand more than one hundred thousand cases were confirmed in the past three days, so from March Twenty second to March twenty fifth one hundred thousand people, a fourth of the total official number where confirmed that means there have to be more out there man. It is pretty terrifying. I'm just GONNA. Give you a quick example just to kind of speak to this as we're going down here. I know personally someone who is in an age group in a health range that is not considered a high vulnerability for Cova to be fatal for them. And they, they are fairly sure. They quoted me eighty to ninety percent positive that they have cove nineteen as well as their significant other, but and they even live very close to a hospital in a hospital system here in Atlanta, but they do not have access to a test, and they cannot get tested to confirm whether or not they have it, so they just have to. Essentially write it out until it becomes bad enough that they need hospital hospitalization. Are they showing serious symptoms or well? Yeah, but not not the intense respiratory stuff that's associated with the fatality got or the the fatal nature of what it turns into, so it's just one of those things where in especially in this country. That is what we're dealing with. Probably I can't even estimate the number of people who are in that same or similar situation where they. They know they're sick. They've it feels as though it is this, but they don't have access to a test, and that's exactly what we're about to talk about here. about what what various countries are doing to prevent further spread, or at least as they say, flatten the curve right right? We'll spend some time on that, too. We have enough data now that we can look at. We can look at the different and distinct responses from several several countries. For. Instance on the extreme authoritarian end we have countries like Singapore. South Korea and Israel so Singapore is. Is kind of an honor student here. They used contact tracing technology meaning that they were proactively testing people, and if you tested positive, then they would find every place you had been every person you would interacted with, and they would also test them, and then if they tested positive, they would also test everyone. That person interacted with every place. They went. Imagine that happening in the. The United States, it's just it's almost anathema to the culture. Here Israel did the same thing of course, the one of the big big differences with Israel and Singapore is that Israel is still in opposition to Palestine, and Palestine is something that has been. You know like the Hong. Kong protests, it's less and less in the news as the news is increasingly related to covert. To your point about flattening the curve, Matt China actually does seem to be flattening the curve, the granted though to flat curve. They did things that would never happen in the united. States such as I think. We talked about this on a previous show, such as physically welding doors of apartment buildings shut while people were inside. Did you guys hear about that oh? My Yeah now is definitely an extreme version of what's attempting to be enacted here in the United States, where it's like you, official orders from your state's governor or a mayor of a city of to stay inside, but. Forcing it to that level, but there's even caveats in the in the soft mandates. We're getting from our lead. Our leaders right I mean obviously going to the grocery store is is acceptable, and there's even mention of took to take a walk around the neighborhood. Walk your dog go to go to the park. I honestly feel like because so many people are home in my neighborhood. I'm seeing more people walking around the nine typically. Would you know on a work from Home Day? In normal circumstances so I feel like people are absolutely like not getting out, and you know being a little too loose with with those. Mandates kind of you know one hundred percent you know it's. The way that information circulates nowadays the way that we're all hyper connected. Makes it easy for us to get information fatigue and it? Also it also means that we're looking at a scenario where people might not take this threat seriously until someone that they personally no dies, which is a very grim and absolutist way to look at it, but it also is a valid observation based on what we know about human psychology. If you are like many of us in the states, one of the people worried about. The. US slipping global superpower in recent years. Then you may cold comfort in the realization that the United States is become is set to become a world leader once again in an one particularly dubious field soon depending on how things play out, we will be a world leader acknowledged in Covid, nineteen infection, which means possibly depending on our infrastructure we will become a world leader in covid related deaths. That's a grim note, but don't worry. The story's not over yet. Pause for a word from our sponsor. And then we'll return to walk through some possible scenarios for the future. These are not predictions we should say. Here's the thing. Saving money with Geico is almost better than playing pickup basketball. Because? There's always that guy who joins your game. He never passes the rock. He constantly bricks threes, and who completely hack you, and then put his hands up and say no foul, no foul with gyco. It's easy to switch and save on car insurance. No need to fake an ankle sprain because you're absolutely exhausted so switch and save with GEICO. It's almost better than sports. and. We're back, so this is the big question. It's one of the things on. Everybody's mind What does the future hold for our species for the countries in which we live for our families? Our friend groups are loved ones. I don't know. How do you guys wanted to do you WanNa talk about the bad scenarios first and end with the Google it or you want to go to the good. Just give us a little bit of levity. You want to end on the positive. Yeah, why not bad news I right sure? I think so. Get it out of the way. Yeah, good call so bad news first. Here in the US, we can talk about this country. Specifically unemployment numbers have spiked. How much of these spiked? That is literally something? The federal government doesn't want you to know because they don't want people to panic. If you were in the US, and hearing this, think about it. Do you know someone who has recently laid off or found themselves unemployed. I would say that the answer is Y-, your answer is probably sixty percent likely to be. Yes, at this point, I can't speak for you guys, but I personally know multiple people who found themselves suddenly out of a job, and some estimates have projected that the total unemployment numbers will be thirty percent, however, the trump administration we should note. Has Specifically asked state leadership to hold off on releasing any recent unemployment numbers this drawn as you can imagine a pretty vocal criticism from his political opponents. Another thing that's that's a pretty vocal criticism. Is the trump administration's Pushing the stance that hey, everything will be fine by Easter. We need to open back up for business you know, and maybe just the most at risk. People should stay home I mean. That's not even taking into consideration. The fact that people could not know they have it and go out. I, mean obviously the economic you know fallout is is is horrible, but isn't it just going to get worse if people go out and return back to business as usual and are sick and continue to spread this thing? yeah well said because one of the one of the primary goals for that somewhat arbitrary Easter normalcy date is to preserve the failing economy or to to save it right. But that could lead us to. Another worst case scenario wherein maybe the wave was starting to dip, but every, but we called it normal too soon and then we get hit with a second wave if you'll recall. One example has been brought up a lot lately is the Spanish flu epidemic of Nineteen Eighteen. The real name for that is the Spanish flu epidemic of Nineteen, eighteen to one, thousand, nine, hundred nineteen. That means you know that means. This is probably not A. Time out for a month scenario and the more the like the. We call it too early. Then we may just exacerbate the problems we sought to avoid. In addition to unemployment and a second wave of infection. I would say also. This is going to be tremendously damaging to. People who already lived in oppressed or disadvantaged situations? I believe at the same time. snap which is food assistance is on the cutting board We may also see you know people with disabilities being unable to get the services and the treatment that they need This is this is looking like a like A. Terrible situation if we're going down the negative rabbit hole, what else do you guys think well? I would say it at the same time. We are seeing movements within our very divided government in the United States at least here to unite little bit and give some kind of at least small assistance to everybody across the board and in a way. It's this move towards. A bit of socialism, a bit of not authoritarianism, but but moving towards like attempting to let the government kind of help everybody in a way that we haven't really seen since the Great Depression honestly. Or Win. Some tax breaks were given in two thousand eight during that downturn. It's that I would say is hopeful for everybody. Even the you know the people who are least served by the government in those areas, but at the same time if you think about. The restaurant anyone working hospitality. Sectors in this country right now. Just there are no jobs there right now. That just doesn't exist. or at least dwindling to the fact of a complete drought in that area, and those are the people who need things like. Snap the you're talking about been people who are poor or potentially need something like that well, and this this whole idea of like this this sort of half measure of of giving a household, a bucks something like that a one time thing. That's not going to do much. If they're behind on their rent, you know months behind and and I believe a lot of a lot of states and counties have put a moratorium convictions, but not like Arendt Moratorium Still GonNa. Back rent that you know you can't be kicked out and they can't shut off your water. But what's the full measure here? You know it feels to me like it's a band aid to say. Here's a thousand bucks. Go with God, but it's just going to create this ripple effect. The just feels like Sort of a hollow gesture, but I see what you're same added is pointing to a level of cooperation and a level of like open, minded thinking in in a direction that this particular administration has very much maligned. Whatever administration I'm sorry been last moment last. Thing here a just. To me, it speaks to people maybe at least seeing with an external threat in this way. Very much watchmen style like maybe it is worth helping those among us that need the most help even though we sit in, you know the those people sitting there. HIGHTOWER's to make those decisions. If we are truly seeing the unemployment numbers like Ben was saying at the top of this discussion, the unemployment numbers. We got to see them as they truly were as they are going to be over the next few months. I think it's going to be. A harrowing thing that will hopefully push everybody towards helping each other out I agree that's that's absolutely a silver lining that I hope I hope is is true as well. This this is interesting, because one thing we need to emphasize is that if you look at the population of the United States and if you look at the on the ground economy, so not the not the Wall Street's future trading, not the stock market. That's getting bailed out unsuccessfully. We should note with some Schadenfreude. If you look at the economy that that matters to people on the ground than it was not a healthy body when this infection entered. There, is a you know. It's often said that a large share of people in the United States. couldn't cover an emergency. Four hundred dollar expense now economists practitioners of what's called the dismal science often have their own political agendas, so you'll hear people on various policy platform say that's not entirely true, but what is. Whatever their opinion or their agenda is the simple fact of the matter is that even if co Vid nineteen never hit financially, a lot of people are in dire straits. Student loans are affecting. Young, demographic of this country at such a massive scale that they're you know not having kids. They're not buying houses. They're laboring under something that even bankruptcy won't erase single. Medical emergency can render even a well to do American household with two income earners all the jazz it can, it can render them bankrupt. They will be out on the street again. That is all before this pandemic hit and now to your point Matt maybe people unifying a little bit more because they're starting to realize How bad things were before this began like what's what's that old joke? I'm sure it's a mean guy. Have seen before where someone says. They're talking to a cashier and they say wow, you know. The economy is Great. Employment numbers are way up in the cashier says yeah, tell me about it. I have three jobs myself. They just I hate to laugh. Because maybe it's not the appropriate time for gallows humor, but if if depending on how this is handled, we could. We could very easily enter a depression. and. I don't want to be alarmist, but it's something that we all need to be cognizant of in the coming weeks and months swell, and the distribution of wealth to that that we keep hearing about how you know the top one percent or whatever I mean it really is. This is exposing that rot kind of and how the so many people that are just being eviscerated by this my my ex wife who I'm very very close with She's a massage therapist. Gone No business over you know I mean. She had to shut her shop down. Her husband works in the film. Industry shuttered every single production. No work you know. We're very lucky that we're able to keep doing what we're doing from home, I mean we're incredibly lucky I. think a knock on wood every every day, but I know many many people that are affected by this directly. I have a question for you, guys. How do you feel about this sort of uttering and the race baiting elements that are starting to pop up where this idea of this is the quote, unquote Chinese flu, and like like already setting the cards up to blame other for this and to create an adversary that we can. Actually you know fight with I would say a scapegoat right because interestingly enough. There were a couple of statements from the federal government here that blamed. The Obama, administration the previous presidential administration and I was thinking. You know as someone who spends a great deal of time investigating conspiracy theories, I have a hard time believing political leanings aside that at some point. During his presidency, the Obama Administration said Hey. Let's release a pandemic and twenty twenty, and then did like the steeple, their fingers, all Monte burn style as just ridiculous, and you're right. You're not only right about this country dude. But other countries as we'll find later in this episode, other have been doing the same thing. It's a global phenomenon. It's it's unfortunate. It's laughable and it has a very. Very real potential to lead to human deaths, so this league you know here in Atlanta. We've seen Asian American members of the population get verbally abused get beget even not here in Atlanta, but in parts of the US in parts of this country there are people who are getting the crap. beat out of them because they happened to look to their racist. Abusers these criminals. They happened to look Asian and that that's truly. It's Trulia discussing thing, but I think it's also indicative of that underwhelming fee or that underlying fear. You know people want something like you're saying. People want something else to blame. They want something they can hit. That's the same reason why and I'll say it. We don't talk about too much on the show, but I'll say that's the same reason why. The tragedy of September Eleventh, two thousand one led to. Lead to a large scale military operation in countries that had nothing to do with the tragedy. We needed someone to blame something to react to. You know what I mean am. I sounded crazy. No, no, no, that's exactly what it is been I mean because you can't fight you know a virus. You can't really be angry at a virus. You know you can't shake your fist at it and then call it horrible names. I mean you could, but it's a lot easier to assign blame to a country that maybe we don't fully understand I. Mean we already are at odds with culturally different than in many other ways? It's just kind of an easy go. And see that violence happened and actually playing out with actual neighbors. You know and people that live with us and next to us is really really sad, and that's that's I can't handle that it's just. Taking a terrible situation is making it worse and allowing it to poison daily life and create this toxic environment. I mean they're already. You were talking about the headline at the top of the show about the gentleman that was being accused of I believe terrorist threats you coughing on people I mean I'm seeing fights breaking out at grocery stores where people are like you know, stay away from me or I'll you know hit you I mean this is the race. Thing is literally just people being scared and the atmosphere is already one of paranoia and fear to introduce that. Hatred into it is just more than I can handle. You know a great way to contract cove nineteen, getting a close combat situation with somebody. Like maybe maybe off. Everybody out there. Yeah I'm going to put something out here because we need to move on. This is just some. I guess more of a shower thought. Let's say. What if This is part of. Our super organisms move toward the evolution of our species, and toward the toward the bringing on of the singularity, where every not every but I would say a ton of people out there working in some form of coding some form of situation where you only need. A computer ended. Internet connection can function with their job specifically to assist in some kind of electronic or. Artificially? Intelligent field those jobs are secure. Those people will continue to function, and that machine will continue to run just perfectly in the situation, no matter what the pandemic you can run that stuff as long as the bane, the major systems of electricity and interconnectivity actioning. Yeah, Yeah I! Don't know. What do you think I I su- your same because there. There's no question that we are in. I'll take ownership of this because I screwed up and introduce the phrase, but we are going to enter a new normal. Imagine a world where? Are So averse to physical interaction that you're the majority of people you interact with you do so through an online platform or some sort of distancing like telephone or video conference, and you only meet people in person on rare almost ritualistic occasions. You know you'll date someone for years a online, and then you. Maybe you meet when you move in together and put your. Your weird VR battle stations in the same room and that's true love. It's not like we don't have a head start already. I mean you know what I mean. We're so isolated in that way through technology. Already I mean even my daughter. You know so much of her interactions and her friendships are Internet based. I just took her to see a movie. Movie with a friend that she told me it was her friends. She'd known for years and I realized they were meeting for the first time in person that night at that movie, it was a French. She made like on this tiktok APP, somebody local, and then before any parents out. There say you're crazy to let your daughter me. was somebody was a mutual friend. Friend of another friend who wasn't just some random person on the Internet, but I was shocked when she said Oh yeah I, haven't met her in person before, and she'd known her for over a year I just thought you know it's a very. We do have a head-start towards that extreme version of this of the word living in right now that you're describing. Yeah Yeah agreed as a matter of fact you know many of us are many of us are are big fans of podcasts, both making them and listening to them, and to your boy by head. Start Yuna, we have just just the four of us We have forged what we feel are sincere relationships with many of our fellow listeners people that we have never met but we know like we know stuff. About each other. The kind of details friends. No, you know so shout out to Simon Workman for instance shout out to multiple people. Who Like we talk to each other? We are a community which will come into play later and quick shuttle to. got a weird call for me last night while I was in my car. Hope, you're doing well hope everything's going well, buddy. Yeah, and I think that's tremendously important because the human the human connection. Our souls if you WANNA, use that word should not be bound by geography should not be bound by location. In before I get to Ted, talkie do want to put him one more bad scenario. I'll just plan a seed and we can move onto good stuff. One one more. Incredibly plausible bad scenario that everyone should be thinking about is this. This is the perfect opportunity for an authoritarian government to crack down on something. This is also the perfect opportunity for a republic or democracy to shift to an authoritarian mode of governance Oh and speaking of headstarts. We. Kinda have that, too. Don't we in place right now? In terms of the climate, the political climate right now you know I'm I'm not seeing inklings of moving towards that, but you're right. It wouldn't take much Ben. Not Seen. But really honestly guys. How? How is the November election going to happen? Oh. That's I been working on some stuff. There WanNA pitch. You guys on this I. I'm going to say. It's not looking good. I know we're a long way away. We're a long way from our. Are we met? Relatively and given the severity of what's going on and depending on what we see in just the next few days or weeks especially months. We could be in a real situation where we have to like we suspended tax day here in the United. States or we pushed it back. At least we push back all kinds of. Just within you know personally healthcare deadlines and things like that. All kinds of things like that are getting pushed back. It. Why would the November election not end up getting pushback for how long what does that look like what does that mean? How does that change? Stuff that's written in the constitution. It's a really weird place we're going to so why? Why is it okay to do the Census Online? But we can't vote on Line I've always wondered. That I've always wondered why. There wasn't more of a robust vote from home. Situation are like it seems very antiquated. The way we conduct elections the. Technology and the deployment of technology in the voting process again here in the United States is a is often moving at a glacial pace, because every every side capable of having voice in there, every side capable of making a decision has. Has An agenda you know it's like it's like A. It's like a company. Corporations goal is to make its shareholders happy a year-over-year Prophet, right? That's how capitalism works a political parties. School is going. Do tend to be to strengthen the position of that political party. Therefore, they're going to be adverse to moves that they see as helping quote, unquote the other side, and they're going to be very bullish moves that they see as giving them an advantage so when it comes to. It's like that old. That old quotation from India when elephants wage war, the grass suffers. Technologically, we absolutely could be voting online or be voting by mail, but the opportunities for corruption would have to be addressed in a substantive way. You know to your point. No, we can clearly do it. The technology is there. We have the technology is they used to say in the six million dollar man? We don't have the legislation and we don't. We frankly do not have enough honest caretakers of policy for that legislation to be created to be approved and to be implemented technology. As you know, longtime listeners will always outpace legislation. I think we I think it's fair to say you that. This government again just here in the US is still kind of playing. Catch up to television. We never really figured out how to handle TV and you know. Let alone my space. Let alone TIKTOK is. It's a crazy time to be alive. It's true. Should we silver lining playbook it now? What do you think? Yeah, let's go for it. good scenarios. Good scenarios well. Let's look at the things that came about due to the Great Depression Great Depression of horrific time in this country It's weird that it's named the Great Depression for a lot of people. But things that came out of it. We're things like the new deal. These are things that even the most even people find themselves on the most extreme version of the libertarianism scale. I can agree with you know The new deal gave us a tremendous amount of infrastructure that did not exist before it also gave people a tremendous. Opportunity in terms of employment and the new deal, N General objectively made made the US on the ground, a better place did it open up doors? For? Overarching, big brother government control well. Yeah, obviously. I mean that stuff wouldn't pass this week, but who knows a few months from now so so there could be a large scale. Readjusting of US society lease that is. Less cruel toward the majority of people living here I don't know if that's wealth distribution. I don't know if that's. Better medical care, you know what I mean. There's a number of ways that could work out, but that's one possible good scenario. You know an to Matt's point. Maybe we will finally assume humanities rule as a midwife or transitional stage to a more highly evolved life for you know the cyborgs, the singularity people the. What would what would we call it? It would it wouldn't be Would it be like instead of Homo? SAPIENS would it be like home also whatever means wise in Latin rite homo. Signature. It will just be you know our. Our metal selves our electronic versions that. That somehow exist for longer periods and can do anything and everything that your phone can do. I wanted to give this to you guys really quickly. Bill Gates came forward yesterday gave a bit of a Tedtalk and said that the best case scenario within the United States is to have six to ten weeks of total isolation from one another in order to minimize the economic impacts. On on the country. so like six to ten weeks is the minimum amount that you could have in order to see recovery from an economic standpoint within twenty days after that, and let's not forget he should know. I mean a lot of the work of the bill and Melinda Gates. Foundation is fighting disease in third. World countries like malaria and all of that, so I. Mean I bet you this I. Don't think bill, Gates, says anything. We're just off the cuff like that. I mean I'm sure there's some data going into that statement. He bit of a snark at The the administration's you know very pie in the Sky Easter reopen the country for business. Idea in saying Oh, crazy people or backout, buying houses and going to restaurants in Oh. Don't pay no mind to that pile of bodies over there. Whatever you know, I mean He. He definitely has A. Pretty dark outlook on on that idea from the from the government. Yeah. I agree I think a lot of people listening. How maybe hold a lot of distrust for billionaires such as Bill Gates in in you know. I would have to say personally. I feel that a Lotta Times I. Think you know I think we all do a bit, but in a scenario like that as as knoll stated there, it is somebody who has worked with Infectious Disease Cross. The world's A. Bill seem like one of the good ones you know I i. don't know that's just my gut. Feeling about him as a person, remember that episode. We did talked about how wealth. Kinda changes you as a person in a lot of ways, not necessarily for everyone. What always yeah no, I agree. That always makes me a little suspicious. I was holding back for a second. Before we move on I wanNA point out something that may surprise you guys. Have you heard of events two zero one? No okay, so. So back in October of twenty, one, thousand, nine hundred. Event 200 one was hosted by the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security this focused on something eerily press emergency preparedness in the event of a quote, severe pandemic, I just want to plant that seed, I'll. Promise will come back to it because it. It has a place in the next act of today's episode. We've painted a little bit of a good or bad scenario. Now we have to ask ourselves. What if there's more to the story will answer this question after word from our sponsor. My name is. Supposed to Montana morning, show and I want to personally invite you to my new podcast. My name is a new show. All Talk to artists, community leaders and people like you. Together we'll learn more about the triumphs and failures that empower my weekly guest. My show kicks off with the Awesome J. Battling from Columbia that has revolutionized Latin music and continues to break records worldwide K. bothering opens up and talks about his humble beginnings, the secret to his success, and how he managed to remain authentic to style. You'll be able to go a few layers deeper into the lives of my special guest. You can find my new show. My name is on the free iheartradio APP or wherever you prefer to listen to your podcast. Episode every Tuesday combined. I hope you'll join me all. My name is podcast. Here's where it gets scratchy. Conspiracy theories about the novel Karuna virus are spreading almost as quickly as the infection itself, so we were going long today. so we can't get to everything that we have planned, but rounded up a few of the more prominent conspiracy theories making the news today. Want to let you know ahead of time. Conspiracy realist, these do range implausibility. Some of them are more likely to be true than others are going to get started here early on as this story and. this virus. It was all developing. There are so many people out there. Saying that the disease develops from this virus is not real. That is exaggerated. It's not that bad, or it's a hoax entirely, and it was something that was basically a story. Those put in place to try and distract people from other things that were going on in the news or the world and you know there were so many different things that people were pointing to whether it was an election, or you know industry and possible. Polluting problems and actual grim outlooks on that it just spanned. The gamut of things that this virus was distracting us from really looking at and the first idea is that the threat you know is in some way exaggerated. And you know. We know now that that is certainly not the case. Right yeah, so so you name three kind of takes on the concept of a hoax that it's entirely a hoax or it's. That's exaggerated, entirely a hoax or that it's a smokescreen for lack of a better phrase, yeah! You're right. It's not the case. In fact, it appears that leadership in most countries in the world did the opposite of exaggerating this the initially estimated this virus, both in terms of its transmission rate, and in terms of its deadly nature and ton of people. Often for the best reasons ever. A ton of people were quick to try to quell alarmism around Kovic nineteen by saying. You know it's no worse than the flu. You have probably seen this fellow conspiracy realists off. You've seen the statements on social media. Maybe one of your distant relatives gave you an email with seventeen forwards on it. Maybe you heard it from friends especially during the early days. Whatever those people's intentions were, they were categorically. Demonstrably incorrect, and now we have to tackle the the concept that you've heard before. Folks that coveted self is not exaggerated. It's not a smokescreen Maybe it is, but it's entirely a hoax. All that stuff you're hearing on the news is made up. There's another thing people often in the early days, and it's view that some people maintain today. In fact, the president of the United States the current president. Called it a hoax earlier. Do you guys remember that? Oh, yeah! Yeah and it's crazy. I heard a thing on NPR the other day where it was Hannity. WHO's kind of the real bullyish kind of pundit? Who who tends to just like say among some of these more outlandish claims he. said he literally said pairing of what the president had said that this was a left-wing hoax intended to discredit the president and screw with his reelection prospects, right and then you know. The president had said something along those lines, obviously not quite that. Explicit, but then when the president came out when things started getting real and started talking, and he started to Kinda shifted in. You know sort of doing some revisionist history saying. Oh, I I might. Administration has been handling this. With the utmost concern and attention from day one Hannity then flipped his script and just started praising the president for his. masterful handling of this of this this Bandak and I mean it talk about Nineteen eighty-four. You know double, speak I mean it's just it was mind boggling to me. I want to jump to the concept that president trump called. The coronavirus a hoax. Did you guys see the snow article on this I did yeah so essentially. This is I'm just going to quote this. Everybody hears this. He was discussing the corona virus in Fed late February of Twenty, twenty in South Carolina and according to Snow Pts. He likened the Democrats criticism of his administration's response to the coronavirus break as their new hoax so quote. Their new hoax, so he does in a way. Call it a hoax, but. It's. It's interesting. It's just interesting the way the wording. goes to play there, but certainly downplaying the severity and the importance of well the the president leader in later press conferences I have the timeline available. If you want this just ride to me. I'll send it to you. He later denied making that statement the way it was advertised in the press, and he argued that it was mischaracterized on purpose. This leads us to something important, and it's why I'm really glad you brought up. The snoops Article Matt on I. I know that we have to cut a lot of conspiracies in today's episode, but for this this tool you can use when you're attempting to determine the veracity of any claim whether it's flat earth to what Sandwich your your friend had on Thursday. Your first step has to be finding sources that argued for or against a statement. Then you compare them so at this point, you'll still find people arguing that Cuvette nineteen. itself is entirely a hoax. And you can consider them a primary source for that opinion or that viewpoint. However, if you look at the other side, you will find many many many more people people with firsthand experience from either contracting the illness or combating it in the new frontline of this global war, hospitals, clinics and ers across the planet. Those people will all argue that this is very much real so regardless of what we all may want to be true. The sheer mass verifiable proven sources indicate Kovic is no hoax, but to that third question you raised Matt what if this is. An opportunity. Yeah, this is even more disturbing and it's something that we really need to spend a little bit of time on so while Cova probably wasn't planned by a nation or an institution, some kind of you know biological warfare conspiracy. It's certainly presents an opportunity for some unethical behavior like we talked about earlier. Here's some of the hypothetical examples in this goes again with our our discussions earlier. shutdown protests can't have people gathering so no protests right depriving people of their civil rights you know under the guise of being a public health measure right. You could also try and pass some kind of controversial legislation. We're seeing how well as we discussed earlier, the left and right. In encamped. The United States government and Congress are functioning right now. Just as everyone's coming together. Maybe you could use this as a way to get something through. Slip it through while we're all working together. Do we talk about this? On a previous episode? The insider trading that's going on and how no one's getting in trouble for it. It's the same I mean. Look to me. The thing you just described been is like the political equivalent of price gouging like medication that would cure people. You know it is so immoral. I can't even handle it. and yeah, the whole insider trading thing I mean there is a lawmaker from here in Georgia. Who who just got popped for it? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, and they a downplayed the threat. And then went to this briefing and then you know sold off millions of dollars worth of stock, and how that's not insider trading I. Don't know I it. Is it one hundred percent? Is it is, but there are a lot of loopholes so just to name names in so everybody doesn't feel like we're picking on one senator because they happen to be from our state the names that we know now the four the four senators across the board who lied to the public while they were dumping their own stock fortunes like a fire sale are these senator? Senator Feinstein Senator low-floor and senator in Hove. There's another thing we gotta talk about. This is a fantastic opportunity. If you're if you're overarching government, there's a fantastic opportunity to nationalize private businesses and a time of crisis. Many governments are opening the door. To well we're making laws or. We're activating laws that. That opened the door. To widespread nationalization of key industries like energy transit, nedical manufacturing, even agriculture. Now there are some people of course will say well. That would be a fantastic thing, but of course on this show. We're of the mind that fantastic things. You know are even more fantastic when they're transparent. And of course as you know, there's another opportunity to crack down on minority or opposition groups is all happening at once, but it stuff to be aware of one thing. One thing I wanted to ask you guys about knoll. Something I was surprised to find people so ardent about it is the concept of five g. and the Karuna virus. Have you guys heard about this I have not been so multiple people surprise me to know. Multiple people have been proposing a link between covid nineteen and five G. Technology. I guess we should. We should pause for a second on Minna Defer deferred you. Matt what exactly is five G., we, we hear the name thrown around a lot, but like on the most like bare bones level. What what the heck is that stuff? I literally have no idea. Of Its one more than four G. It's something that we need to discuss with. Jonathan Strickland and have to discuss that I think we've. We've been mentioning a couple times to him so hopefully we can get him onto. Truly explain to us what five G. is. Is it like fundamentally different than four G.? Is it a completely different transmission medium? It's going to be rolled out a lot differently where the signals are going to be transferred back and forth from your devices. They're going to be located in different places throughout your neighborhood or wherever you live. It's you know it's lightly different frequency bands. There's all kinds of injuries interesting stuff there in its way too much to impact right now, but just know that it is a slightly different version of what you're using for your cell phone right now unless you're already using five G.. We, have A. we have an episode on this where the research is still solid from February thirteenth two thousand, nine, thousand, nine hundred called cell phones, five G. and cancer, I, which which goes into some of the nuts and bolts of how five G. Works, but I I think no knowing this. We know the you know you don't have to go back and listen to that episode. Of course we would love it because every time he listened to an episode. Our our boss sends us. A personal tax says we have one more day before we're fired so Please tune in the. The thing about five jeep. Should trip everybody up when we hear, this is the concept that somehow a wireless phone field could what? Accelerate or exacerbate the spread of virus. Here's the initial connection so the PR see China. Turned on some of its first five G. Networks in December of twenty nineteen. And people who are picking up kind xenophobic vibe. You described earlier all. They're quick to say well. You know the corona virus. If. It's real came from China and they also turn on their five G. Networks for the first time, so they attempt to draw a a link between the two. A casual Akasha will link. We. Have we have specific examples of the kind of stuff that people are talking about in this regard and you can watch it for yourself on facebook. Heck you can join. We found a group that you can join. Yeah, it's a facebook group called. Stop Five G. UK facebook group very creative name. Yeah. You know I mean these kind of conspiracy. Theories abound whenever there's some kind of new tack that comes out, and especially you know people are very skittish about the idea of things transmitted through the air but yeah I think four G. is approximately a gigabit ethernet connection, equivalent and five G. would be like multiple gigabit speed but you're right. The infrastructure is different, but we we should get Jonathan Strickland into talk about it, but this this this whole concept seems like a stretch to me. As Ben mentioned. We did talk about it, but we talked about it well before it was ever actually turned on. so I'm very much interested in. Seeing how it's developed how it is actually rolling out because I don't know if you guys remember we had that. Gentleman on here named. David Eick. Do you remember what he's told. US About Five G.. What did he say Matt Refresh? My memory, please. He gave us a dire warning about five G., and how it was one of the most terrifying things that was coming, and it was going to spell essentially the end of the world. I'M GONNA go. I record and say you know. That that that that feels largest. An expert that interview. I can't remember if we did it before. The seven year study came out that was attempting to debunk these worries. but I also want to point out that you know when you and I are that interview as David about his accusations of anti-semitism. He's still didn't I, don't know man I don't know I. Don't know if he's the best. I'm not saying he's source. I'm just saying in my mind. What is repeating is what David said to us. And and he was saying that it was going to harm people, and I can see why a facebook group. Maybe that was either listening to David or other people talking about five G.. Would then connect those two given that China did activate quite a bit of its five G. Networks. In that timeframe right around December twenty nineteen, so what? Are we really calling into question? The origin of the of the covid nineteen? No, that is what I'm doing. What about you I mean? This theory seems to do that. fundamentally what what is. The is the notion that all of that is just smoke and the. It's just a cover up for the real. The real bad actor. Which is this technology? I would just say it's a really bad coincidence that happened to lineup in a timeframe with some of these fears. I would say also to your point. while. We're while we're playing some peppy Sylvia. which is which is a great idea for board game? Though he come out with if I didn't think always sunny with us, but while we're playing peppy Sylvia, I want to point out that. That David Ike was right about the pedophilia. In the United Kingdom. No matter what you WanNa say about the guy. You can call them a crank or whatever, but he was one hundred percent right about the active cover up of child abuse for decades in the United. Kingdom and also spoiler alert. If you don't WanNA listen to all the episodes, Yes, the people who did that are going to get away. There's there apparently above the law. But Being Broken clot can be right twice a day right so this doesn't mean he's automatically right about. Five G. Predictions, the people who are claiming that. Five G.! What what the really what they tended claim is that. The dilatory health effects of five G. are being conflated with the. Symptoms of Corona virus, so Cheer Point Knoll the people believe this ultimately the majority of the Marina Corona virus was not actually virus at all. They say it's just it's something. The media is using to cover up. Illnesses and death attributed to exposure to five G. Technology. There's there's one example of this guy named Mark Steel. Who I think is an excellent, just snapshot. Because we after remember a lot of the people participating with the five G. Corona virus conspiracy have just sort of folded this enormous global panic into their pre existing opposition to five G. Mark Steel was making waves all the way back in two thousand eighteen, because he said his local city council was causing pregnant. Women dimiss Kerry when they were walking under street lamps that were outfitted with five G. Technology. The local government by the way rejected his allegations. There's no proven link between the tech and COVID. There's also no proven link furthermore of any single case of wireless technology spreading a viral infection in general. You know what I mean. There's no like nobody. Nobody got a viral infection. Because? They heard a telegraph. If that makes sense. The right that's that's what I'm saying like sure I could see blaming, or you know being concerned. About other health risks associated with the stuff because it hasn't been tested and we haven't really seen it rolled out, and you know the idea that cell phones causing cancer. We've we've done episodes on that and we that was the. That's a little bit. The jury's kind of out, but there's some evidence that maybe there's some some truth to that. But how does a transmission of data cause a viral infection or carry a novel? You know virus the the allegation. There is that it is not a virus. It is just effects of the radiation emanating from the technology. The devices shout out to everybody who just looked at their. You just looked at your phone now and he saw a little five cod. Shoutout to you. You're going to be okay. And here for now is where we leave it. Hang on! Why were you guys talking about? The religious allegations are the religious conspiracy theories. Why weren't you talking about the various panaceas and snake oil cures? Why are you talking about the fact that numerous governments have accused other governments of creating covid nineteen as a weapon? Well answer to that is that we have to save something for part three also peak buying the curtain Paul mish patrol is going to kill us if we if we make this like a three hour episodes. So on on the Google hangout. We can see Paul's face down there below, and it looks like a smile, but. I'm definitely reading it as a scowl right now. No, that's just a still I know, but it just. I can't tell how angry it is, but it does look angry so. Apologies for not getting to a lot of things are very much on the front of our fellow listeners, minds today, but tune in because we will be doing a part three, which is even more of a deep dived into The conspiracy theories that we didn't get to today. I honestly sad about it, because some of them are little more plausible. And we're also going to be looking at the developing situation at this point again, March twenty-fifth twenty twenty. The scariest conspiracy remains the one. We mentioned in our initial episode on Covid Nineteen. China conspired to keep this quiet. Other countries conspired to downplay the long term consequences in the threat of this including the United States, and now the world collectively is paying for those decisions we are paying for those conspiracies and the bill has yet to come. Do so while while you're hanging out. Wherever. You are right now staying safe in isolating yourself. Make sure to reach out to us. We are available on the Internet. In a ton of places. We're conspiracy stuff on twitter and facebook. You can find our facebook group. Here's where it gets crazy. all just go there. We can talk about anything Cova or not covert. And just discuss any episodes. Give us ideas for new episodes. If you don't WanNa do that, go to instagram you. Invite us there. 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EP.138 - MILES JUPP

The Adam Buxton Podcast

1:13:00 hr | 9 months ago

EP.138 - MILES JUPP

"Rosy she goes for a walk going. Don't go in mum's room good for walked over the nice out there that's gone. We're going to call miles job rosie. She's just wondering over to the She's just climbed onto the comfy chair. What's the deal. Come on rosie. Go looking most yup. Well i'm going. You don't wanna go right. those chunks. Lovely day walk up one more gye cosby and now you fucked up. Podcast out and started listening. I took my micro bounce on human then. I recalled it all the noise while name as buxton nine. And i want you to gye the. Hey how you doing podcasts. Adam buxton here reporting to you minus rosie. The dog who it turns out went on a run with my wife this morning and has evidently decided. That's enough outdoor time for her for me. I'm reporting to you from the usual norfolk pham track at the beginning of november twenty twenty. The american presidential election took place yesterday. As i speak and so far no clear winner has emerged. Donald trump is calling fraud here in the uk. A second national lockdown begins tomorrow. So in the spirit of trying to provide some distraction from all the fat and whatever else. You might enjoy a bit of distraction from. I am going to try and put out a few more podcast episodes than i normally would. I've said this in the past and then failed to do that. Because i had just running out of time but i mean. Do my best anyway in order to do that. I've been looking back through full. My old hard drives and checking on various conversations that i've recorded which have remained unedited and on broadcast. And if you're a regular podcast you'll know that. I sometimes put out episodes quite a long time after i record them. And it's kind of a random thing it's usually not because it wasn't a good episode. It's usually something else. We'll just bad okinawa. That's why it usually comes down to no one token inness voice as my bad organization. Anyway today we are listening to one. Such conversation with british actor comedian television presenter writer miles jupp and i thought it would be a good idea just to give miles a courtesy call just to say well look we're putting the episode out and Sorry it took a while. But i'm gonna go indoors and do this call because it's a bit to david louis at here. So let's go and call miles. Hello miles yes good man. I'm recording now. So try and try and keep all the really offensive stuff to minimum i will. I'll keep a lid on it. It's very rainy and windy now. Sounds okay actually. I had to come in because it's very windy out here. It was a bit too blowy. Ills we call a few hills around here. That's very That's very hillis view to immediately assume everything's flat just because where we got some great hills miles but where you just a hill. Call the cabin but change of a shares were We've just stopped and put on jump is on. This is pretty good for the soul. You'll get back and you'll feel all virtuous you can have a nice cup of tea or whiskey or whatever it is and and then get on with the rest of your day. Incrementally we're improving the quality Optic muscles that's not part of the dream is playing the game. You're living your best life to you them so sunday. We relate in the house. I'm gonna stick my neck out. And i'm going to say i hate half term. It's a lotta shit since it goes on for two weeks now on your was ten days inside that i didn't mind i'd one day of work. Today's building on something. And i ended up going to use to us in the middle of the week. I'd also fine. I enjoyed that state. Yeah i'm just wanting films. I'm being cynical. I had a couple of great days. We went to go ape and climbed the trees and that was actually whenever. It's fucking expensive for. Yeah exactly it was wonderful anyway. Listen man i wanted to call you personally. Because i'm embarrassed that the conversation we recorded has taken so long to surface. I think it might be a record. We spoke in twenty seventeen in september. I think i mean that's reasonable. Presumably you cut out all the more interesting this and this is just slowly. I'm not you know what use was fouled and scraping whatever seemingly. I mean we had not chat. I think genuine asking what happened is my agent. Molly is such enormous financial kosten. She was incensed that. I haven't been on it. I think you'll hand was forced. Think she went old. Shotton used a leverage and just made it happen and you just had to succumb to the kind of sherry and the the anger and that's what happened then. Once you order to that for all over the toll it was very nice to listen back to it. I think part of the reason that it took a while to edit was that there was some technical problems and have it did actually record the rest of it. I'd recorded way too. Low a level talk extremely coronate or laugh very loudly ship. Very hard Dials for that sort of behaviour. I do remember on. I've been watching a cricket match that day. And i think theresa may have come and sat on the bench new. I was sitting. That's right. I think they should have been when she was prime minister. Yes same. let lewis ensures the news. I used to the she. And i remember being slightly paranoid newspaper and say she would be one of many people about illness on thinking Just to get a job. Done space Yes we talked about. Theresa may and being rude to politicians. We talked about your about going rich yet. We talked about guy ritchie. And the fact that you had been in sherlock holmes or at least you filmed the scene for his version of it. Yeah yeah. I spent more time talking about this experience living. I believe that's the same with one world cups and stuff isn't but Yeah that's right. There was a set of unsuccessful day. All the time i was very grateful the days of the and you also in the process of writing a novel. Oh well i'm now submitted that us goodness knee. It's so late. Who's definitely behind the nova two christmases ago and we did another christmas space. They took it off the slate. As i wasn't moving fast down ran out of excuses so i have now submitted that novel. Yeah it's about a kind of disillusion teach young in the late ninety s speaking of the ninety s. We also exchanged stories about encounters with our nineties musical heroes. I not remember the recording. I cover my actual wonder if they should have left some traces. Anyway we won't set up the conversation too much more. It's very enjoyable easy going chat. All right man. listen. I'm gonna let you go but thank you very much cost up. Why do see again soon. I hope stayntouch t by that was miles. Jupp talking to me a bit. Expect may be the dried mango. It's a bit like eating skin though. Isn't it mango is sweet skin. That's what i like. Sweet sweet taste. I can take on. Leave the skin of someone who's been moisturizing with anger. And i'd put out some cashews raisins this is very what do you think. Have you been instructions. And i've got hobnobs as well. Tin- actually winston food since days. You'll see me picking the reasons own cash shoes. Cashews are you nothing. Tell her if. I had a food. Intolerance tests sensory one king and cashews were kind of who hazelnuts for do not have swollen hazelnuts. They just make me a bit sluggish. What i do is. I don't do anything and i carry on but i just walked more because i've been burned so many times. Adopting a new lifestyle by worrying about eggs for me always comes back to the time when i thought oh. I love eggs now. I can't have eggs because if you have more than two eggs wheat you're going to just drop downs. Massive edwina currie coronary. No no nothing to do with two egg disease. You're about ten years younger than i am. So so you don't remember that period where they just said eggs will send your cholesterol right through the room nunu but i do remember earlier thing. Go to work on an egg. The whole future that was that was salman rushdie is that he was a. Oh you're welcome your right. I think someone Of did he went from maxwell house or something like that. He coin something with my brother's best friend's mom she had she had coined. The phrase is you will have some x well remaining or now. I'm looking up the line. That salman rushdie. did how. How you with googling things to solve like you generally resist googling links to talk to jeremy. Hardy came stay my house this week. He was doing a gig nemi and we were talking about somebody that play and i thought i'd also question member and so i went to google so interesting you said something you. Yeah we're talking about plan. I wanna find in it. And he was two or three times he. He's clearly obviously someone. That doesn't doesn't do that so yeah. It does seem really rude. What a. But i think if it's a conversation. I think you have to assume that the person this googling to support the compensation the forward movement of the conversation because if they weren't that would be so crazily rude to start doing something. Yeah just start. Sending an email from you're holding a hand in an email arise whatever. It could be something that you've been waiting for for weeks or whatever it's hard to judge. Excuse me. I have to take a nice phrase. I have to take this. This looks like a very exciting email. So i'm just gonna stop you and i. It could be good news when i come back. I may actually be much better company. You take that risk of causing the other. The other could be crushing news. Good news to great new job. It looks as if the early stages of phasing out of my life may have finally moving west hall finally happened. And i've been invited to some rusty's party. He pops up as a recurring character for viewed as he rushed in and out him yen told people i found what salman rusty wrote fresh cream cakes. Naughty but nice. That's rushdie. yes naughty but nice come with naughty. Noise says yes he did he came up with the actual wording naughty but nice. I think i mean. That's the implication voice to onto onto thing about cream cake. Do you think you think it's the sort of pre existing phrase that he applied to the cakes. I might have been or maybe his work. I service another layer of google. Where you another say. This isn't enough. Just can you. Google the words more detail often these questions. Yeah did salman rushdie really the phrase or not but coined the phrase. That's right kind of annoys the phrase or what about this who coined the phrase naughty but nice. That's a good idea. Take rushdie out of it completely and just see if it comes back to him yet. Little known advertising copywriter by the name of s rushdie. Komo have a time limit to it doesn't exposure. Just relax after a while. Because there was a time. And i bought his book about it. Could joseph anton and i have not read it. It sorta sitting there just sort of stopped. Being hiding in the yeah. That's a good point. Is there a kind of security services. Say they've come out this other stuff. Well it's a bit kind of broken up themselves as group really all that all they're doing they're all pursuing solo projects on the new management. Trust me it's a very exciting time for those guys but at the same time they can only surfer kosei much. Everyone was really up for the fat while very was totally behind it. But we've got a new regional manager. Ian who's just come in and he's just reassessed our strengths really. It's not it's not something should hours. You'll still highly offensive. Never talk absolutely furious. Don't get me wrong. And personally. And i'm not even that faith. It should be poked. But you know you can't blame yourself with the breakdown of these guys. There's so much else going on. You know we've got the internet to worry about now which we didn't have when talent versus came out the auto everywhere time puts a lot of pressure on us. All best bite with this afternoon is such a lot of google. Okay here we go. Look i think what can we. Google could be good. That could be a sort of podcast right. It probably is already. This was the decade of heinekens. Refreshes the parts. That other beers cannot reach martinis anytime anyplace anywhere and naughty but nice the slogan for cream cakes coined by author salman rushdie. Okay very good. I think that's according to see with the other ones. Were they were. They weren't invited to the future as far enormous amine fay weldon. Donald cartwright once you pop you just can't stop. Just keep digging in their martyn. Amos is eight quicker quick edible. It's paypal margaret atwood. Great all mauka sloppy sh- dry company of any slogans now more than meets the eye. That was the transformer. Good recent ones I was talking to someone about this and they were saying it was just an advertising companies. Come up with a slogan but the slogan is then attached to a rhythm that the very first person that's done the voiceover has done so they've said well tesco every little homes. That's the slogan but an actor somewhere has gone discount if it'll help or whatever and that's that's as much of the rhythm as much as part of the slogan as the wording it's also the jews but then if someone else send goes and does a tesco but they still copying that person's original but you can't you can't trademark rhythms can. You can't be. You should be able to think i've spoken about this before all that's i mean you can't get deep so that was my. That was an alert. There from google sane. I've googled halong. A fatwa lasts. I what you were saying. I mean that's the way it's gonna go isn't it. I was listening to your compensation you wanted to know how long the fatwa last. I have looked it up. What are you planning offensive or you're planning on being. You seem sad. You're forgetting a lot of things how you doing. What have you been up today. I've been at the cricket watching love. Cricket is to rid it of it on now. Eight or whatever i didn't get i don't mind Do you know what i mean. I used to mine as to. Hey england losing and stuff and now. I think that's fine and i would know when they're playing at reno when they're playing. But i just got invited to a thing the oval. I didn't quite smart. But it was in the key to the committee pavilion and it said where ties on wartime and then everyone else. Proper suits knows ex players and then theresa may then arrived and sat outside talking to a policeman. He's a sort of terrorism prevention guy. Who was really good from and then to resume came. Sat down to place lamas. I thought very strange about that. I suppose because you think you feel off guard then. I mean she does. Do you think she'd us who you think she ever listened to the news quiz. I wouldn't have thought from sort of policy point if you take interest. Take much notice. But yeah i i have no idea. I met boris johnson about three days after the referendum results as walking on court road with a friend and it was like an extra on the traffic island as a very boris word. I suppose and it was. Boris johnson was there. I just thought you've got real chutzpah because people are not pleased with you. Now if you're not aware of that then you up. I didn't even know what spectrum you'd have to be on in here you are just going straight through the town. We just sort of went up to my friends went up and said something of all the engines to him and and he just said oh this my for my said yeah you keeping us over a busy at the moment new. Oh god spike. But i didn't if he was just sort of being sort of vaguely polite or or whatever but you know you make remarks about people for no good reason really therein. I suppose there in the news or they've done something well. They've done something badly. We didn't really know these people. And you're just assessing these things from comedy point of view that is that's a good joke happens to be about that person. Well it strange. It must be old when you when you bump into people that the stories i keep hearing from comedians especially is that on the occasions that they are in the same room with a particularly tory politicians there often beguiled or they're surprised by how to the charming and they don't expect it you know. I think i remember mark steel talking about being getting very upset on question time with one of the tory panelists on there and then afterwards in the green room being sort of patted on the back by the guy while he was still shaking with rage and indignation and that guy was just like i was very good in. There's a lot of fun wasn't it. Yeah and was all just a jolly jape and how disarming that is yes but you know people say about theresa may that she's a nice person and she's not seem implausible. No she's not she's not at all the rogue a one to one basis. Yeah i mean it. So she's unfortunately one of those people that it's very easy to characterize she. She looks at savvy. You shouldn't judge people on their looks but with her. It's so hard to resist. Because she looks as if she could have been drawn by what's his name. He does the illustrations doll was to joe scoff Blake yes yes. If you could dropped by quentin blake. Obviously the way people behave. One is different from how they behave. You know wall think about things jalousie about do find that thing where you hear things about people who are. Maybe that you're about to work with. And i think you've got make your own mind about people really. Sometimes you know. I remember those someone is about to. What within a friend said. Oh yeah no. He's quite difficult and then started doing this thing. And i it's it's a perfectionist. And also he just sort of speaks bluntly and he's just quite practical doesn't mind getting on with things and that's sometimes i wish this produces you're mentioning a name with somebody in connection with some and they all know. Well i think no. They're no. I think very good acting but our little bit difficult. I always assume the worst which is at the person that they're describing. It's difficult as once points out that they are full of fucking shit. Yeah and that's what they mean by. He's very difficult wedding rings now. That person calls you're on your boesch it have. We cannot use back early. yeah it was. I wasn't really doing my job properly. And he and this is what i find so rude pointed it out very much when i was just trying to lump blame on somebody somebody much junior to me and i think that's really that's he won't go anywhere a you sanguine about the future you catastrophe. A warrior Got children right. I do have children. I don't really worry about things that sort of totally unknown. I suppose i do things that associative unimportant. I can't really imagine what it's like to be in a situation where you do things that genuinely make some sort of difference but i know those people are out there. That can take care of stuff. And i kind of have sort of just trust in these people. Identify where it comes from things. Just get sorted by these Sort of shady. People that we don't know much about. I was talking about this quick. I was just at this Terrorism prevention police officer and he was saying oh man he's going to name i five. They unbelievable to just stop. And everyone time. Though i i'm sort of can be a bit of a frechina warriors. Sometimes a bit of a pacer. Sometimes the worry is just getting to the point with things happening. It's not how it goes you. Just you're going to be relieved when something's over however it's gone kind of thing so i don't although the moment everything seems so ridiculously on certain i didn't win this together but i suppose what this week got. North korea saying look as far as we concerned the guys declared war and stuff. And he's saying well you know we do. We can destroy what that's that's crazy and yet sometimes you just wonder about anything. Well you know. There's still a little q at the butchers and You know the cash machine still looking at the end of the street and put the car whatever you know. Life's have this habit of getting on. What other stuff's happening in a way if you feel a little bit of disconnect it doesn't able to sort of not worry about these things but maybe i'm being terrifically complacent but there's something that makes me think things will be okay Do you worried. I mean i'm a warrior. Here we in your bunker fair milwaukee area but i worry i'm you know whenever i don't worry i worry that i should be worrying and i worry that i'm one of the people that's not doing something about it. Yeah i should be like. Don't you feel that everything does have an effect. You sort of said well. The people making the decisions are sort of out there. They're the experts wandering around in underground bunkers or whatever and that's true to a certain degree but then on a societal level there are all kinds of revolutionary changes afoot. Well that's what it feels like. If i'm in an airport in the smoke coming out of a been i'm not just going to elliott one of these people that you never see deal with whatever one would hope that one But i mean things like To talk about what we speaking about before the whole business of What happens when you come up against the real people that you speak about in a comedic way and the fact that these people are real not just kind of two dimensional cartoonish personification of evil which which sometimes they have to be for comedic purposes to make a joke pop You can't really go into the possibility that actually in personnel not be just a total bastard. Maybe there's more to them and we might not agree with this policy but actually you know because that's what politics is like in real life like most people even if they're a member of the labor party they may not agree with absolutely every aspect of labor party policy at that point nine. They weren't i. I suppose if you're going to mock someone's background that's that's not really fair. That's that's something over which people have no control. Whatever they are their background is this of eton educated or whatever the background. Is you know the the children of criminals or whatever it is that you can't really call people on that but you you have people's politics is absolutely fair. Game of course back romaine formless politics little people to trust people to make their own minds up about things as grown up so i kind of think of its people you know. There's a my local. Mp i've met a couple of times he seems when you meet him to be a sort of fairly normal man spoke to on the train wants venues. Bits of flustered is one of his family. Hadn't been well hadn't so slapped and stuff anything. Oh he's we now real. He's this guy's a human actually and then night. You know you google's voting record anything. Animal man's a polling. What this man thinks about things. So you know there's that sort of personal thing and it's and it's that side of them that are if you are going to make jokes attack them that side of the mo- tax on the yes but then decisions that they have rationally made that you think fundamentally wrong is think sort of fair game. The other things of course. You can have like friends that you have. The same politics with people's political opinions seem to be as passionate as like the most passionate standup comedians opinions. It's like theresa. may's just fucking evil harrison and that's it she's evil right. she's she she's malicious. She doesn't have people's best interest. She's entirely motivated by greed. And other things that you could say that the tories are characterized by and it's that simple and so then a lot of other people seem to adopt those kinds of political passions. And i feel like there's a link between the story about laura kuenssberg bbc political correspondent having to have a bodyguard at the labor party. Conference is that. is that a real stories. That's a real thing and that's to do with. I was having to sort of nuance in a way. Everything's become very binary. Because people who've reduced to just using short messages and george bush senior with us or you're against whatever just a completely sort of nuance free phrase have massive cut through as they say media world all of this is more you know people. Not every question is a leading question. There's there are good things and bad things about such and such that. There isn't of space that now the problem. Some an institution like the bbc gets caught up in. I think this This why i think was this book. I read the the clash between impartiality and balance now impartiality and balance not the same thing a tool but that's sort of used in the in the same way so for instance You know we have a sort of Someone on extremely left-wing person who represents what's you know millions of people think that's not balanced just to have them on. We've got to get this sort of hedonistic guy from the christian voice who has meas- with thirty one but that's not balance tour and then we're going to be impassioned about these things. An empire were referee. They aren't impartial. They make a decision based on what they've seen in front of them and so journalists who set out to be objective. Will they gotta make a call. Somebody that you enjoy that speech i didn't. It wasn't a good speech she didn't. It didn't really have any sort of saying anything. That sort of spoke to the people in the hall. Or whatever and so kuhn's berg gets a lot of grief for are presumed very anti corbin. Sentimental the news. Sometimes you make a joke about corbin and then get lots of complaints and people say oh you must be a tory tory party or whatever and then you get lots of complaints saying this program is just unbelievably. Left-wing what the hell's going on here. I think bias is bias. Is things that people like an accusation people sling around all the time and i think that comes from people Same from a neutral point. Want i know people. I mean you go online and oversee this feeding frenzy when it comes to bbc bias. Yeah i mean. I didn't get in like i didn't do. I haven't news of social media thing. I didn't get involved in conversations online or whatever and i find that that world to be honest quite sort of frightening that can twitter to me seems to be. You know you're just basically opening up a window saying you're now allowed to shout at me through this about whatever you like. I think getting huge amounts of criticism or praise equally damage. That's not how. I don't think it's good good for anyone. A couple of comments. I came across was watching a video of frankie boyle on. It was a russian News chat show With some strange presumed maximilian or something. Yeah that's right. Yeah anyway Beneath that like just started looking on russia today. maybe yeah. i'm not i think. And they were talking about bias. And then i looked at some of the comments on the i mean admitted this is youtube but internet champ says the bbc is now just a mouthpiece for the tory party sadly we fund it just like our taxes pay for the weapons which sold to saudi arabia who supply isis and then someone else edwards. Six thousand says boil russell brand jo brand mark. Steel jeremy hardy eddie. Izzard herring toksvig. Brian norton linnehan lee brigstocke thomas etcetera etcetera etcetera etcetera. The bilderberg broadcasting corporation is pro mass immigration pro- eu and it is ultra left-wing and certain. The bilderberg group is pro immigration. Do you think that's think that's one of the conclusions that they have no idea. What the bilderberg group actually do. As far as a table mason's i guess they just it's networking and they they say you know. How would you like to run this in things. Like the halliburton group and stuff. I'm did a pantomime. In aberdeen in two thousand and five playing the role of simple. Simon and one of the things was to do the song. Bit with that with dame my friend. Alan mchugh and so you you you get everyone singing a song together and you may be getting. Some people awesome specific questions. But you'd also have shoutouts to do but because it was habitants is an oil city. You'd have sort of an corporate bookings in the midst of all these things so you'd be saying you know the six kate. Peter heads Pitas had boy scouts ran. Hello to them and You know and genesis here with our grandchildren. Today she's eighty days generally war today and we also have Twelve hundred the halliburton group. Day shoutout to towel. uk french oil. Load a big farmer back. The people of the constant gardener about they're in really very strange. Wow is that fun doing that kind of show. She really loved it. And you've done other to since then like some serious theater. Yeah i did. I didn't alan bennett. Play at the national called people. And i did know why some things i really. Some of them have been really enjoyable things to do. I pro player. I did was at northampton. Royal theatre it's phoenix elder actors. Where the world restoration comedy and it was just excited. I just had an amazing time. Of course people were. You know coming out saying you know. I know this is your first plan. I. it's terrific that you're enjoying it as much but i just want teddy. You do need to know that. It's not always like this okay. Because i'm usually enjoyable. And i did a dan death of joe egg. When you're doing a play doesn't it make it impossible to do anything else. Yeah that's that's your focus. If you're exposed to appeared you can maybe go off and do gig in the evening. But the actual velvet. Yeah that's that's what your long the runs where they usually like. Well the ones that the national your your in reps. Oh you might be on three nights a week four nights a week and you know these dates months in advance when you're a hustle is full on but you could have another play comes in tech and stuff. You could be offstage for two weeks or something like that. We had our players. Really the maurice. Unwanted was really physical uncomplicated and we had three weeks off at one point in back to sort of run in the afternoon to check the picking up fifty props an hour or whatever got back in november. This anymore said that when you're doing it sort of all is ideally. Sort of all consuming. I suppose you've done awesome. Would you would you would. Yeah yeah. i think it'd be fun to love acting at school. And i've done bits and pieces on tv and always enjoyed it. I guess my range is not huge. Yeah look at. You're talking to you with other people. And i really love ended up a lot of solo work and yeah stuff where hosting and stuff and then sort of in charge. I really i really like being in a teams just the best one that with vallejo country guys. You're out in. yeah. I'm in moment. Show so i if i wanted. I'd love to get into a plane. Bothell bristol how is it in moments. You isn't having a nice time. I mean i mean things for instance. Like i wanted to play in london next year and i can't do that. Collect can't go ape four months solidly. I just can't do that. It's really not fair on families. Two hundred kids. Yeah five five kids have so you know that's a certain degree of responsibility here. A massive responsibility. But at the moment. I'm doing a lot of writing and stuff like that beautiful part of the world. Last time i was in monmouthshire. I was visiting. This is a This is straightforward namedrop brag for indie music fans. I was visiting the ban. The pixies or pixies if you're a purist because they were recording rockville lot field. Yeah rothfield studios and i'm sort of friendly with charles thompson. Who the lead singer frank. Black as he's also known so i cycled out there on my brompton from. What is the nearest station. The nearest big rails down newport common what. It was any maybe abergavenny also journey. I mean it was a good. I think it was. What like fifteen miles or so took me about an hour and a half to cycle it on the eighth floor to know hilly. It took me back bat way and It was raining really rained so by the time i got there. I was completely soaking and charles thompson. Frank black came out and met me and said hey come in. And it was the pixies when they reformed your music. You spend anyway so they'd reformed and they were recording new album. So it's really exciting and they'd reformed with the original lineup including kim deal who had Previously been on bad terms with the rest of the band charles especially and we went in there and it was pretty cool and exciting marill. Museau recorded hime rhapsody. There was a really good exhibition really moment museum and it was just lots of stuff being you know lots the music ninety s from my parents so record albums from the ninety s. Well like louis. Sister big recordings and i think i was sleeping in the room because it's a residential studio and i yeah i i was imagining what Liam gallagher would have been doing it. My brother's a big vinyl guy big big music and he might musical educates my brother. And then i used to show flat with doug anderson He's very doug against fighting talking. Needs something to present ryan is he would like sit down and got right. And we're going to need to see new york dole. You need to see the devil. Daniel johnson stuffy watch things and then then my brother we. You know he'd come to moment. Then yeah well that branch of kosta. Can we go then. Don't really want to costing us. No he's just because one of the stranglers or sect in there once and stuff like that he just sort of new little kind of well. That's cost up and the highstreet because that's where i ended up sitting with charles thompson. One afternoon of the pixies right so so the first night that i get to the studio he. I don't see any of the. I'm trying to be cool. Because i'm aware that it's like they're back together. They've they've had some difficulties internally especially with kim deal and charles and i don't want to bring up anything that's going to be awkward so i didn't say anything. I just go and chat to charles in his room and he's playing me some of the stuff that been working on which to my sounds great. You know they had this song. Indie cindy and I really love that album and stuff years playmates. Like this is terrific. And then the next day we up for a coffee at cost a coffee and we chatted a bit more about how it had all been going. And i asked after kim cautiously and he said yes she's left i was like all right. What she's just. You only need to have a bit the sessions. He's like no. She left the band as on now so he told me about it happened here. They sat in cost to coffee. The whole of the pixies seemed so unlikely the pictures he was talking about. Maybe maybe seems unlikely to mess buyers. I was gonna say yeah. But from any of the strangler stranglers like wofford or something. I've no idea but yeah so so. They broke up or at least kim announced that she was leaving at north high street. Yeah that's and she because you know they. I think they'd all been really trying to get on and make it work but makes a kind of thing. Sometimes i think it you fall out with somebody somebody what we lost jae that i just couldn't get on with it. You just you just you just never should shake up. Bumped into them now. i'd feel profoundly. I saw i saw them in a restaurant window. And i just oh yeah. There's there's like once something's in your head it's it's kind of done and you call me did your did your relationship ever kind of peak did you. Did it explode at any point. No no no. Just that became incredibly a high on my politics but tim. You know people that you just you just chemically people. That didn't get on. I think if he does a great rock and roll thing. As a person of of my age. I was in James catalog ideal all right mean head right in the news. Crews we were in the albany poverty. Probably not a great horned street tube station. We didn't in a news. Chris according and This guy came out to our table. Looks us it was about as being not not and then it came back. It was him again. He had a few drinks and he said yeah. I saw just just thought. Just you know like i'm co miles as well all right well. Most of the month and then he went to the wonder stuff and jason oregon hunt. Oh wow you br. And they're not real the plays of songs. Yeah yeah yeah. It is and we won't sit down and so we ended up drinking with their until closing time and then went back. I always staying around the corner the medicine or any other excellent local hotels all day in the white house. Come and so in that game back to like the bar. They'd been digging evening. Mac thing i think and ended up in their sort of suite in a hotel room and he was like his very big news. Chris values disgrace. He's a really nice guy and he was sort of describing his saturday afternoon ritual of listening to the news quiz in the bath where he lives in stuff. The windows open lots of sort of steam. And what a very vivid picture about really late. And i was doing radio. Play the next day and really needed to get going per quarter three james la- i mean you've been very nicely saying that you like our work and stuff and we really liked your code. You think i mean would you mind like you know doing a song force good when he came out and she said and someone else was playing like no and he went poss guitar. Nice what would you want james. No cao bang. Okay just kind of what a message. Twenty seconds they stopped instead of for call. They didn't even join in and so we sang. All thanks is recounted this hotel quarter three in the morning. Ten minutes later jason street going well. That was an unexpected evening. wasn't it that wash. Never that is great. It was really fun. Miles hunt with a hero. Yeah he was a great. And i know sometimes i know you bump into someone that you just find yourself. Just sort of facing on them on. He met him once a youtube concepts with. Just find yourself on your home safe at portlaoise. Anything thing. I'm gonna watch paul glastonbury Whatever and just watching british bands on american shows and stuff right youtube mo- dougie aniston's good friends with mark morris. Yeah and not just from a suspend evening just watching blue stuff on youtube have you. Have you watched the stuff. He's he's now berries band or visit him sometimes. Yeah well matt berry tours around it as i've never met very regular collaborator with the occasional. Yeah i like him very much. he's he's the real deal he's not someone who's putting on. He's a bit rich culture. Do you know him at all from the bouch. I sat next to him once. Read through for something a read through for the boat that rocked the richards o. Rien he read the I guess what would it be in the philip. Seymour hoffman. ponder what happened. He was really. He was really funny and i remember being flied by him in the street. Once in edinburgh years did a show called. My mom still thinks a lawyer or something. Yeah really so full on screaming type thing about that. When i went to that i i saw exciting Which occurs thing. Read through my book apart in an amazing this is what would this be ten years ago. Maybe more something france At the century club. And and then you get there and people alight ludicrously famous and it's a little bit hot and if i'm nervous and it's a little bit that say i'm sort of god. Hello adam buxton just popping in to explain that at this point in the recording was when it stopped when i was recording. I mentioned in the intro that there were some problems and this is the point which they kicked in luckily my trustee backup recorder was working which enables me to play you. This short section in which we exchanged guy ritchie related stories and then later on i realized that the recording stockton and die restarted. And you'll hear that bit towards the end when we talk about. What did we talk about parenting things that annoy us. It's all good stuff sale later won't won't how about Show homes disaster object in which you the to who had always lines cut absolute disaster and didn't find out till the premia real that is true. Yeah a should've worked out on the day by guy ritchie correct. I went to school guy. Ritchie's okay when we will being some really so really terrifying school somewhere. It's really tough school on accounts the state who's run by gangsters. Yeah the lessons. Were doing people in mischief mischief dealing with nonsense rhyming. Low rhyming yeah no. The reality of it was of course that it was a boarding school and guy was one of the students. They came a little bit after everyone else. But when i was about eleven i was quite friendly with him and he was like is it. Toll other must be mature than i am but he was toll a fine dash. I remember him as being the country. Gent almost it was he had a style. Most of the eleven year old boys didn't yeah and he was really nice and he told me how to play cards and and he was good looking and all the girls fancied him and stuff. And so i had fond memories of him and it was. It was funny to me after years of having not kept up with more seen him really because we weren't like total best friends on me but lock stock and cheeseburger comes down to expect. I wonder if that's my guy to guy ritchie. Yeah and sure enough it is. I see some ep ks. overflying guy. Ritchie hasn't changed that much except now he has scar feelings right and then i saw him at the comedy awards in me and joe were doing. Tv stuff by that time. And we'd we'd wangle away onto the comedy awards have with someone else. Berg wandering around afterwards. I i see guy ritchie with a couple of guys with him. You know looking very stern. I go up and say hey man doing do you remember me. I said hayes at a bus and we went to school together. Because i didn't want to be the guy who goes needs to be reminded so make it easy for but he looked at me like completely black. Yeah like walk the shitty you talk about so spelled it out for the school and i said And he just shook his hat and you sit all into law schools until schools like you. It was a really weird. It's very extreme. I mean i felt as if it could be that. He just didn't remember he's had an exciting colorful license. Then those memories of being replaced by on the. But you're like yeah you're doing doing. You're wrecking bank street leading. Not now baxter donna. Us exactly talk about sticky biscuit later took up in front of the guys. But how is he doing the film barely badly. I mean i just had one day on it. And i just had one line the line i had kept some robert downey junior kim speaking of the end of it so i mean i thought i was going to be fired before it even takes because they want to hear the enemy because he was so he having a my line was to do lorne his line mister kenny riley and there were two conversations gang and he was of coming any we did two or three takes where it happened and nobody said anything and then eventually doodle and so i really think of overlapping on and then. Suddenly everyone pretty full rome. Somebody shrink from the room. I couldn't just be a pant. Nfl sound guy paid him. yes Problem which is that. You're talking about rope. And i said wow. I came to begin to mean just canoe when he's talking starting the line and then he's yeah but you calm talk when he's i said you want me to. Maybe you shouldn't say online on the newest picking up on the single at you. Just can't tell when he's talking and then walked off them and then he sort of data she he went like. Hey what's your name here. That's run this a few times. Make sure the bits fit but advocacy by the news. Didn't win them back. Sam the trailer for a few hours and then they were doing the big master short. Now that be sean to be going shop. No need for that. And you'd be going so clearly been reading but i you know the time i was on tour with simon monroe and in this show about this within ronnie that stood in and i remember being in the dressing room of the haven't art center repairing my own costume stitching my own breaches back together or whatever and then got a cool thing next monday. You're going to spend a day in a movie. Anything great is a lovely lovely lift but yeah it was a kind of matic and then a mate of mine came to the came to the premier. Should be now on either side then it would have been it would been there but at the time those i think if you do lots of different things there's so much distance between when you make something when it's all on you didn't really feel involved in it anyway really never really been involved in the evening. You'll sort of eighty eight for a short time. It's really the people that are on there all the time so it's hard to be too and i just found it funny. That was happening on space. This is a warning which should be considered pressing in this next bit. There is something you may find distressing. You can hear the sound of someone eating. You can hear the sound of someone eating. You can hear the sound of someone eating someone eating someone eating. It's really not so glad you can hardly hear it. That i know it makes some of you. Sad there are those of you who fear it sound of someone like a sound old son one. You don't sound someone drinking. Oh yuck crunch daca skip ahead a little bit if you. These sounds gory. Sixty seconds should be safe. But if not i'm very sorry. Country china area is really nice. I love it a record. The bus in clinton orange cycling and it just started cycling with my son. My oldest son is fifteen and cycled in to town within the other day for the first time My wife nervous. She doesn't want children's cycling around there. She just think so. Get knocked off down maniacs country lane. Yeah how old are your children now. Eight oh man. Yeah eight dollars youngest to so you're only just emerging from the tunnel while i guess. Yeah i mean we're going to have. I know off number calculated once how many years we would spend having teenagers and it was quite a long long time. So there's a lot to look forward to but you know there's lots of fun to be had isn't there but yeah pretty good. Yeah what's the positive parenting wisdom that you like to impart to others only thing. Somebody told me that robert burst rowbotham. I really very nice man in cold feet he He's quite all children. And he said i wish i had. In retrospect i wish i'd been able to treat the eldest the way i treated the youngest able to have that kind of i mean that's an impossible piece of advice. That's because he really didn't what you do. you have your first one especially just. Don't take anything personally. Nothing that's very hard. You know everything that people doing in saying that you know. They're behaving that way. Out of some sort of necessity for it. It's always sort of on you I guess maybe the good thing about having a larger family is that you don't you just can't be quite so precious with each individual and maybe that makes them less. I worry i worry that. I just put too much emotional weight onto the children. Just because i'm needy running right the name. And because i convey the sense that i had before i became a father that i had this fantasy of what being apparent would be like which was totally unhelpful. I would just love me unconditionally. Put up with all my shortcomings and ignore all the fact that those must be true. Yeah but then. That doesn't last. You see i mean. I think there's a there's a kind of motif of love you hope that continues. Where with your family but on top of it is just a load of interpersonal indifference often. If you it's like well just people at the end of the day and you may be the kind of person that they find a bit tedious. I suppose the thing is like you know you've just got to put some effort in sometimes and other times you've got a stat bank new here. It's hard but now they're entering the they're entering the phase where they would ask stepping back and they're asserting their independence and now often when you go into their room and say hey has going and how was school and stuff. They shift around uncomfortably. And you know they can't wait for to leave. It says it lives committed a murder in europe released. Just want to get back on their phones and starring drugs. Yeah it's really annoying. You're going to to carry on sexting but do you ever worry about this world that you have you know because you've got no experience of living in a social media bubble. No when you were that age like i'm writing a noble. It's set like a teacher. Gang ready fed up with his probably his job. More source cooler. He teaches in and set it. I'm like twenty thousand was into it. But i've said very deliberately when i was at school so the teachers the age that i am now in the book but the but he is teacher at the school because i thought i caught imagine plotting stories in school now when everybody has mobile phones. And you email your teachers and stuff like that to me that seems completely unfathomable but that is the actual world. They will be going into the thing that i literally refuse to research. Yes in order to get something done teams to me slightly frightening thing but we're relatively screen free household. Actually how'd you manage to enforce that. That's what my wife got up early morning. Unplug the television. And put it in the loft. We haven't had a television for years. And then i bought one and then ten people just watching too much watching too much noise noise they make when you turn it off your let you. You've got to be able to deal with this off of interesting on so like in the attic and then does it. Come out when you want to. What does it come out weekends or anything on eventually work about. Well it's gonna come out when the clocks go forward or back or whatever it is. They do in the autumn. Now i've heard you talking about yourself as kind of an angry person in the past you still get angry about things in that same sort of way. Yeah i've got a very short temper settle. I think a lot of a lot of my stuff is all the surface really. And i i really. I get very crossing. What are you like when you lose it loud very loud very really because you quite by. Spokane wanna yeah. It's exhausting when it happens. I'm i'm quite soft spoken and very loud and very in mainly in with inanimate objects whatever i have things around your or just a strike them my I took two broken printers to the tape the other day. Both of which we've moved house with both of which were broken by me. Just how did he break them. I will physically attack them. So what was the problem the You your printout whatever you know just one of those things. It's taking out five or six. It's a paper issue. We're doing whatever object and i suppose. I do have quite short fuse with the children. I suppose sometimes you know which is pathetic way. Can you just do the thing. You know where you contribute to do the thing that you d a deal here you sign these forms and it is. The daddy knows best waiver barking broccoli. That sort of that sort of stuff. Children are being difficult. I think rather than thinking your my child and you should do allows what. I'm going to do a mention that you all my boss and you're being completely unreasonable and i'm going to be very good about it and it's a way putting pathetically think well i've seen i was working with. That guy was being completely also sort of kind of you know very mellow about it. That's what i'm gonna do that. I mean say Yeah trying to channel some of those things. But i do. I do get really what about with members of the public. That's where i come unglued. Sometimes it's with officials particularly across the lady at paddington station. Recent she was not letting people onto a particular trailer. Being some sort of thing. I was trying to get on a train with them. Pippa evans and lloyd langford and the information said desk. Yeah there's tickets valid and she just stood the bag and then not valid and then people get it the next sentence and then now leaving. it's just policy. Have you spoken information desk notes policy or go see quite so dancing wants got really. Give it address by my wife for being sarcastic to train. Stop in italy. Which was completely you know wanted into extent. I was able to convey my sarcasm. But she really was. You just can't replant that. I got really really cross with someone. I thought was just being so deliberately unhelpful. I said what fucking bring an idiot to work day in italian no so the only person i could have been annoying. Would it be my my wife and dry. She really stop it. Stop it really platform where you get annoyed with them to the public. Yeah exactly what you just described when people fall back on kind of jog or a basically just say. I'm sorry there's nothing i can do when well. That's just not true. There's loads of things you can do. You just want to talk to somebody more senior apps and supervise or whatever like that. I remember once my mom telling me about being in a bank and trying to describe her situation to sunlight night. This young guy who's getting your countless danwei. Need that sort of money right now. You know that she went. Can i told somebody older to your senior new. I just actually. What i'm saying will be understood by somebody who is older than you and your doctor sorted on rye lane during the possible crisis to the massive backlog a few years ago and i like four pass by applications through lunchtime and it took like an hour and there's only three windows and as i left in old lady went. Good riddance fair fair. Say you just took that one on the jin didn't go back and say what did you say. Sorry my hearing. Did you just pop. Hey old woman the fuck did you just say. I heard the focus to his list of things. Tell me how you feel about some of these big stuck in traffic right about that. Sometimes i'm more. I bet it as well sometimes. There's nothing you can. Sometimes it's like little holiday You just stay off. I just call the radio. Yeah as long as you don't need to go. Pee bagger revels lebanon. Everyone's happy when people chuck their rubbish out of the car. Not good not good really known listening in general not good. Have you ever had a confrontation epa. Told someone to pick something up. No i haven't but we re actually some us did you. How did it go know. Well not well now. They said they pay for someone to do. That's not how you supposed to think about it. Up take the steps up. What you're doing is not job creation. It's laziness when you hold the door open for someone and say thank you. That doesn't want me what knowledge and somebody and our teddy someone who did that to me. Once was eureka. Bbc scotland downstairs. You held the door open for your your nothing. Nothing nothing nothing nothing. Fuck you your spoon. Because before i was really a big fan yeah and it really it just shows it can turn can bend like a pre bent spoon when people let their children misbehave in restaurants. I mean that's not really because children. Yeah you have to sit of impotence. I when people let their children walk ups lines demented. I cannot when children walk up slides and there's other children waiting to use them. Yeah so so frustrated when people hold a conversation in a doorway but yeah yeah my children i say after doorway is never replaced a standstill. This is rule one two thousand about twenty one and also slow walkers on busy pavements. Yeah yeah yeah. That's a tough one witty suitcase. I've a real problem with people with weedy suitcases. Just about and minds a four wheeler very crowded street. Or there's i can put it up with his four wheels. It can travel flat. Brian take up the littlest amount of space. Yeah possible but we're hearing this king's cross in sometimes you gotta understand people to some of the never been before staring at maps on their phone and putting this enormous thing around. Yeah can't really in new york. This like zero tolerance for that kind of thing with my brother twice in the northeast and members really accurate was aimed ask but we found it really funny like us bring slightly unsure about that you can turn left on red or whatever and we would just like being slightly hesitant on a crossing a street in the guy behind the city. Now keep walking and we. We just really funny sarcastic. Wait so m- alexandra to think she could never make a website. I thought it was something you had to hire people to do. Because of the technicals took computer talking language then when they choose listening to your favorite podcast and you heard an ad for squarespace. Well you got to their site. They got templates. Pick the one you liken fell it it and that's it. It's pretty easy. I mean it's not really a great story but then something happened. Something that malik. Sandra didn't expect. Oh yeah wow. I decided i was happy and i was gonna go ahead and purchased by website. I put in an offer code. Buxton and i got ten percent off but yeah that was that story wise. Melanomas website is now up and running and it looks professional. Looks right next. Time on the podcast. What would it be like if someone eight your apple. I was looking forward to it in the air. Four by someone else. I was at continue. Hey welcome back podcasts. That was miles up. I was talking to that. I'm very grateful indeed two miles for making time to talk to me way back in two thousand seventeen. I call them the good old days. And i'll be delving into my retro podcast cupboard. Maybe once or twice more before the end of the year. There's a few compensations that should have seen the light of day before now. But didn't for as i said in my introduction. Various reasons tech nicole organizational blah blah blah blah blah. Another recently recorded episode of the cost with frontman of the band. Travis and an old friend of mine. Fran healy will be available in a few days. We had a great conversation. I actually managed to see fran and the rest of the band just in the sweet spot a few weeks back before everything started getting more but look downey junior. i was hosting an online q. And a. with the band. Even though i was in the same room with them. Appropriately socially distanced of course and it was very good to see the all. I spent quite a bit of time hanging out with travis back in the day towards the end of the nineties and on into the beginning of the two thousands. If you're a regular podcast you'll know that dougie from travis the bass player who was a guest on this podcast and it was great to catch up with fran. There's a lot of juvenile laughing. Smart humor reminiscing some name dropping and we revisited a kind of cataclysmic confrontation that we had. It was quite dramatic anyway. That's in the next episode of the podcast. I don't usually do trails. Because to be honest i don't usually know who's coming up next but this time i do anyway. Look for that But that's it for this week. I hope you're doing all right wherever you are. Thanks very much indeed to the people who helped me with this podcast. Shameless murphy. Mitchell who provides various forms of production support annika mason. Who did some editing on this episode. jack bushel also did a bit of editing on this episode back in the day. Thanks to a cost for that continued support. And thanks very much indeed to you for downloading this and other episodes of this podcast and Infusing about it to your friends. If that's what you do. thanks. I love making the podcast. I feel very lucky to be able to do so. And that's thanks to you in a way. I mean not totally. I would carry on doing it even if it wasn't for you. Probably but still it's nice to actually have people listening to it. That's the point you know. Shut up now go home and give dog a kiss and maybe even my way till next time. Take all the best of the care and remember. I love you Then alan an excuse.

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RETRO AIOTM (Series 2, Episode 5)

Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre Podcast

1:02:02 hr | 1 year ago

RETRO AIOTM (Series 2, Episode 5)

"Hello, it's another retro. Tomorrow, we're back on the fourteenth of June, two thousand ten, now I remember that the it screwing up the World Cup or whatever it was, there was playing at the time. That doesn't seem not ten years ago, does it? The rest of this episode looks like the ravings of a lunatic which it probably was, there's dental in. Tom De dl, Chris Sacca Busey's coming into play and King. Herod! What more do you want from the top Bush show? That is ten years old. If you enjoy. These employees support US become a badger. Go, dot, com slash badges or bison download books that go faster stripe dot, com, all go to twitch dot TV slash okay herring. If you're with Amazon prime, you can give us five pound every single month. At no cost to yourself. It takes a little moment to link your accounts. There's that video in. In my youtube channel herring, one nine, hundred, seventy confused, and then you just have to come back and click subscribe, and then I get three pound fifty five pounds, and we'll plow all of that money and the money into making more content for you once this terrible situation over it about five to ten years time hope you're enjoying this retro. As it occurs to me, I know I have enjoyed the few moments that I've listened to what a weird thing! It was good by now. Listen to the thing. Please welcome the baby. It's all coach this week. Tiny tiny Andrew Calling Tiny tiny Andrew polling. took. You. Side I, don't. I think you're all. Over fucks say. Stop this right now. Get that baby out of here. I got rid of this pox. Tiny is I promise the real Andrew Collins. We none of the tiny callings is on this show any more. Stoke so don't say he really doesn't like what we're doing. I. Don't want you want anymore. Either your overrunning this thing like vermin. It was funny to begin with. This is not funny anymore, and this is my show. You kind of have a baby presenting a show that will happen to them this week. Well that be I slept all day long did a in my nappy and sucked on the dry. Doug's of a barren old woman. Actually, looking at the script, that's pretty much what happened to me back. Off The bus. Is. Is the fictional born of an incestuous relationship and be better disappeared up the CLO- accurate came. Back that was. Three years. Of Comey. A tiny tiny Andrew collings wanted to audition for the next series of Britain's got talent. Out. Oh, I missed. I've got buffing. Mean Girlfriend Watch last tango in Paris last night. One thing led to another, say you. Are. You will right tiny tiny engine cullings. East says. Deer Wapiti never mind one down two to go. We'll not one of these tiny turbulent collins is no. They won't. So I'll have to do it myself. Great only two minutes in already killed a baby this. is going to be a good show Chengguan. If you like tiny tiny Andrew Collins you Anna twats. Designed to kill off any popular characters just as they look like they might catch on one of the things that will ensure I am never successful anyway. Welcome series to show off I. Don't even know what that is yet, I. Do it's the stand up and sketch show based on stuff that's happened to me. The I thought about this week. It's like cogitate over for fourteen hours before I spew it out over live audience every Monday night, which then gets shot straight onto the Internet without anything out. It's a passing diversion for your commute to work or your trip to the gym, but for me it's a living purgatory. Destroys my weekend puts untold strain on my relationship and takes years off my life. I. Hate You I hate you all, but most of all I hate myself. I'm breeze. Welcome the people assisting me in my world of Wacky. Fund the second choice goalkeepers funding, even my gps shots, and ensuring I, spend another four years without any kind of trophy forty three years of hurt. It's standards. TV's Emma Kennedy and on the Guitar Christine. Hello. To you this week. I've become the thing I hate. I got an iphone. Joy! Employees Bites. I'm still. Enjoy playing games, I'm very play Yahtzee umbrella, seven, hundred and two. Scores a big, pretty fucking impressive. Takes three months planet constantly to achieve that level of success Krisztian O'Reilly. What has occurred to you this? Go this week in my neighborhood, the people supermarket has opened up. Non. Cooperative Right. If you're a member, you work that four hours a month. You get happy discount and. Are you doing well his take. On Too much. Maybe a sellout. Eight hundred six pounds and twelve. Already have woken past and there, but the the one that really she's really canvassing got my son. To She's really chemistry Hong You should come down and working on. I don't know. That was busy life ever. And she was canvassing so hard. I just went I'm a me and my son's mother. Complicated time at the moment. And I'm staying with a friend. That's why around here and. There was a beep and then she went. Still. It could be just to take your mind. Having to give it a go. Shows Focus. So we accidentally brought up again I am. To You well I I've been in trouble twice this week on on twitter. Both both times World Cup related anyone here watching World Cup. Yes. There's so the first time was during the England match, and I posted the tweet after rope grain fumbled the ball, the ball in where I suggested that he was going to be taken to the dressing room half time and asks raped by wolves. Automobile movie I don't now the annual. That wasn't. Wishful thinking on my part. Fabio Capello has a pack of wolves. The ainley invades the software and this is flight footballers when they fuck up. That's just a myth. That's a factoid squared. Anyway, that's. Because there's not. That Coleman when when unnoticed some people at ha ha, ha, ha, and then he's. Then, then he saved the next one with a little bit of help from the woodwork, and I said that he's anal. Raping was going to be down graded to a being asked right by PIPPI. Straw backed. The outrage that I. It was unbelievable one woman. She threatened to report me to twitter because I'd suggested that a pistol would ripe a grown man. Myself say. Wasn't right. This. Is anyone in this room ever being maybe in a hotel room with a pistol. And had consensual sex anal sex. Oh might be being unfair to gape pats, because straight people's back can do it, too. If you ever been in was I'd be the Post Modern. Snacks. Because mainly because I don't think about subpoenas would have that much effect on. Even on my titanium paid back. Piney Penis. Out Some. Tiny would have effect on the band. Class is the gives you. Pause. Into Jira fan legs. And then I. Thought. That was both of them. And then the second. One was I was really arena total of just going Boo Germany. Come on. We were allowed to boo. The Bloody Germans in the World Cup. Yes the chairman's on a race. Racist wanted to be a race, but then. Interesting on that subject this week we have all glitch on football. Matt, the constant droning men, the crab blowing into those things. What a liberal country South Africa is! How accommodating enlarge for joining our as invoke A. Affect Mental Balance and made us all demented. It's not laughing matter. We win section for the safety of the public and recording this week show in modern day, Bedlam milling around with all the other craziest Salo everyone. So different than every other week, so here's a special world. Cut Roundup of what does occur to me this week today watching the Nigerian plane this afternoon. I wondered if anyone to come up with an informal short nickname for this site. 'CAUSE! The one I. Thought was probably unacceptable. No one wants to be called the Nigel's. Take you Sunday finally. Biggest debating soccer was about to be settled. Who is best football Algeria video? The world was waiting on tenterhooks to find out, and it turned out. One of them was bad and the other one. I can't remember which one I turned out. To be honest, but one of these sites had green kit and I wondered if maybe England might be able to win some games if that kit was exactly the same color of the grass on the. Camouflaged and they be invisible. Myself no one will be able to see them. It would have slight drawback that they might not be able to pass to each other to be honest. They really very good at it anyway. Helps Sunday people were still upset by England's failure to beat the USA but I kept explaining to everyone I could these days. International sides are much more equal. All the scores going to be draws or one Gulp victory. Nobody in the Modern World Cup finals is going to be anyone three or four nil. Then, I sat down to watch Germany play Australia. If any team was gonNA prove me wrong. I'm sure we all agree. Thank goodness. It was Germany. Still on the bright side around the same time I did learn the James. Corden made it to number one in the pop chart so. That was some good news I'd I'd. Like to see him on TV a bit more after actually. Don't let me back on telling TV. Executives until you had James Corden on quite a lot more in and everything and also argue here. Could you try and show that training for the Lee Nelson show more often cost its not unclear. Uzumcu to shout. Shout, We're going out. Good Shit of that this Dow Jo-. All alone pros. Having James Corden during the World Cup. Song She just stuck him in the goal I. Think they've been hard to score against him, but despite the hysteria, England's one one draw or delight if you're from anywhere else in the UK. Love Daily. Read. All! Right thing I am Irish. It's oddly it is us. Do Rather have representing you. The Google Efficient Ultra Professional Cup, winning champions Germany or the bumbling bull, fumbling two thousand six England. You get what you deserve England represent you because they are you. We're all a little bit shit, but sometimes by luck. We managed to win through. You never know as a nation. After five seconds of incompetency, we veered from an unrealistic swaggering position. We're definitely going to win. The World Cup to a simpering, petulant childish. Get over you. English pricks and anything can happen is the first game I still believe we can do this. We obviously, but we might do. I miss most of the Games. I was driving up to Northampton frigging well. L. Spot. and. But I. Didn't say. I had no one of the. Dead to criticize Robert Greene after they made even worse era needed, they meant millions including me miss the warning goal because the IT HD channel accidentally gone to some adverse, just general scoring. I believe everyone else is allowed to make one mistake. Even though I tv also did exactly the same thing during the FA Cup a couple of years ago. As a show of good faith, I've agreed to it to be responsible for the safe downloading of this podcast onto the Internet and I think you'll see my face. Justify people make mistakes cost. Let Robert Greene have another. Go as well come on, just don't judge people from one mistake. I've probably had the Robert Green jokes but I. Don't think you'll find one as good as this. Wise the difference between Robert Greene. Greene an air chief marshal, jock Stirrup, and give up well one of coming up on TV One. It's the Jeremy Kyle show. Hi, this is Jeremy Kyle the human equivalent of an embarrassing of Shit that is attached self to your car, because you're having unprotected anal sex with a stranger, which then unexpectedly flies onto their foreheads when finishing yourself over their face, which you're embarrassed to tell them about welcome to my show. SCAR. Wow St, ten. How. Was it. To An unexpected twist, I'll tell you. One way then I, your expectations. I might be you. Ever all wait till the loaded leftist that one. Just, doing my job now over to one of the many celebrities when waiting to England on their performance in the World Cup. With that bookcase you off? I just wanted to. Get. Sketch. We. May. Ninety Jake. Jews Day. My girlfriend down by the river going nice pub lunch to make up for not seeing all weekend. Stupid fucking shocked. Of Listening. Thanks to take. Time to maybe the best. Maybe the best boyfriend is ever lived. is any maybe about that is. Oh I. AM listening to the Post this morning. It's very stuff. Yeah, I know I wrote that all day I don't know how I got away with it. Get a definitely not doing that next week until you. Tell me fitness. Catch me up tonight. Size bobby pushing me into that poignant funny. Just whatever near water I do have this to you in just because it'd be the worst possible thing to do, and they'd be inconvenient for both of us ninety me. You WanNa. Push me. Even, those attempts to the river. Might catch rats syphilis. Exactly because of that, we only see what we so wrong. It would be funny. Yeah. He really serious. Problem No I love you. Turn the world that you want to push me in bodies of water, and even if I didn't I wouldn't complain because I know how lucky I am to have ended up with. A short fat old man. WHO's had hit the moustache for a third relationship? SNORES loud. Orchestra Volvos Eliza manages to Fart in harmony with the snows disgusting. Toke sick, almost adhesive thoughts. That could be used as. Weapons can't be dispersed like even the most frenetic wafting and might even possibly qualify as life forms young. Kris van something I can I can I can always tell almost instinctively. Something's bothering you. It's like telepathy or something I'm very I'm very sensitive. Saris. Take some time to get rid of that. Being on the show is especially love. Emma Kennedy footrace. Portrayal of US quiet respectful about that one time, and she was a kind of, but that was just a joke. Yet can't see it, Richard. She can't disguise her disdain for me. She clearly hates may because she's jealous of me. I mean God knows why, but she obviously loves you. Big being paranoid. You can hear the. Voice. She desperately wishes that you'll strange. Franck like bifurcated penis. Deep insider. Probably inside terrain us. I'm guessing. Inside. The. Strange from like you said you liked my frontline payments. Ido freaks me out. I know a lot of Kangaroos it would beg to differ. Match I. I can promise you. I will never have sex with Emma Kennedy I one time to kiss, and it was worse than rooming, and with it comes unwind dos. Again, I am imagining. What are you doing? Job. Pushing the water is. Take money. Goes not funny. It's only funny when you or a small child. Is? This isn't funny when he's me East Funnier A-. Fatman, being pushed into water is never funding. Especially if he has a front light bifurcated penis which just POPs hours. He's falling off the war. You, don't understand comedy. As it occurs to me. A chanting slapstick jaw. In, pilion audio medium. Special thanks. Go I'm yeah, it's terrible I did. I only ended up. We rack syphilis than my after. Not from the water. When I crawled out of the river, there were a couple of rats. They're winking at me seriously on the bank. One thing led to another both. Is. One of the advantages of the. Tiny bifurcated penis the double. Double Penetration. Get from that to. Wednesday. Western civilization is the point of collapse and the planet earth is doom sowing the break it to you like that, but there's no easy Y on Wednesday. I saw an advert for new product that proves it's over from his all al-Qaida right. Dell created. I don't know if you've seen this. No Hand Soap Dispenser. Anyone seen this. Late night it's. Spends you don't have to push the top? You just put hand eight and the soap automatically comes out, and it's for people who are afraid. They might get germs from pushing the pump on their regular soap spencer that they previously touched. We've happens to explain more. We please welcome the team that came up with this astonishing product line, cosgrave and a media this. Yeah! Thanks for coming in, so you came up with the death toll. No handsome dispenser you proud of yourselves gone. Yeah, credibly proud Richard Yeah I mean. There's an extremely competitive market trying to screw money out the paranoid and obsessive compulsive disorder. There's antibacterial soaps, wipes and sprays designed to John's pretty much everywhere. Pretty hard to think of anyone that we can convince the board mentally ill, the gyms was still lurking. They were going to be able to hold onto some of their money and money that we desperately needed for cocaine. I. Managed to persuade people to move from an unhygienic bar of soap to. Dispense dispenser. Genius. So. Liquid soap being charged a lot more money. And let's not forget. There'd be many that there was a whole or unnecessary packaging plastic which would take a owns divided. Up. Be leaving. Why waste time doing great, great art and literature. When a plastic bottle we'll outlive us all of the. Way Was. And it was you spotted? It wasn't line. Via. I realized that the paranoid chumps would have to press the talk of the public. And we did market this right. We could make people think pressing the button on top of a site dispenser WHO's as dangerous as licking round the state rim of ship flick public toilets. Expense the no hand dispenser, which is even more plastic, some batteries, which we can judge, even more full, and you don't think anyone. You didn't think anyone would point out to you that it didn't matter. People picked up germs by pushing their pump because they were just about to wash their hands. And if you're sunk work with this. Any, germs that inadvertently picked up, but The people talking with. Him? Thankfully to dinner afraid of the world to notice that. I don't see how the no hand touches some really healthy with Oh. Anyway, because once you've washed your hands you when you need to turn the tap off what you did on the sink. TAP that you've turned on with your unclean. Jerem covered hand and so you'll still end up with germs all over you from the town. You Wind Up. We'll need to create a no hands water dispensing advice which he's the water inside the bottle before dispensing. Plastic Nami Baptism. Bottles of people get through. Is Genius thanks rich will get to work straight away. You've helped us. Still money from the week described the earth in sue quicktime. Only in destroying find is. Yes isn't quite from Milton's paradise. Lost Spoilsport thank you. It's not just jokes about bombing is Doku, and then occasionally I say just a line from literature. Thank you. Really Fade. Thank you to be not to be. Thank you line. People. Than Derek burden the Crossbow Cannibal put together and yet still free in the open to Kenyan. Continue that diabolic work. As it occurs to me. Protected. Time for another celebrity message for the gene. There it's knows. Roy You always have trouble. Bring. You ought Dan so hey, visit, it's me. Gary Coleman Peo- from different strokes. I was talking about. Before England USA. USA. I was talking to an ex. Scotland goalkeeper who said England would definitely win I said. What are you talking about? Bob Wilson. Would be funny. If as I thought at the time he'd been called Bob Willis. But Bob, Willis is A. CRICKETER but only find that out. We're not looked it up comedian. Out of the joke, so I thought I'd try it out. Didn't work. You it. USA ME. You know. Good so let's. Begin. God for the performance. Enjoy ending as occurred to anyone in your hands up if you've got straight men in. Football Talk. To into a civil ceremony from. During the Civil Sammy during which a woman pull the chain of flags out of a vagina using a vacuum cleaner. was, it stunk had just been a terrible accident. Is there, any reason for that is an entertainment laid on civil. A friend of one of the people. She no well, he's a wedding. Party trick. Is Anyone go? Who've? Got The flags I used the same. Saying flags each sir. Thank you. Anyone else. Can anyone that I doubt? Anyone seeing anything better than that and this week. Anymore. The back, shoutout, loud and clear. Children would be very funny and very evil. Intend to hook to know which way this is going to. Be One of the edits. Show. US your geography. School went on junk. On every busy high straight. Still them about what it done. I'd. Be hilarious. Me Cry. Charlotte. Straight Day. Sent to prison. overlooked. That was probably the worst thing you could have done. In a way they thought was reassuring I imagine. That would bring a few alarm bells good. Did you, teacher would. Good it's good to see the respect. IS THEY'RE? Playing range that on anymore, they didn't call the upgrade your hand over there. was that just someone having to win? And playing trying to tops the win from him and anyone else. Yes, Madam! It's birthday tomorrow. That's not good enough. Fuck, you fuck you. Joe Slurs all. Your birthday today, that will be something that someone. They still wouldn't be good enough. You made it buffoon that's. There's like two hundred people twenty two people in the same room. There's a fifty fifty. Just two of them share the same birthday. Hundred and fifty people in this room. Know as popular as Italy versus Paraguay. That is what we discovered tonight. Excuse the other weeks. Yes, my darling I hope you'll going to be nonstop in the oven been people. That could to you this week. It occurred to her. That I'm her birthday present. She looks alright. She looks okay. Don't Mike McKell friends. Girlfriends into tonight, so it's probably going to be brilliant, my aura just by. How much she wants to wish you happy birthday I guess. It sounds it's not going well. I think I might be pushed into the Thames tomorrow for. Happy Birthday. Present. I was. In trouble. His birthday present. This going to Jerry to me. He's not bifurcated penis, isn't it? Yes Ian. Go Prince Birthday Chris. Next week. I just talked about tickets to the show right Oh, Dr, do I am contractually obliged to have everyone who comes in. because. They've so is disappointing. The attendance is so low. Set a very funny joke. Was He said? This is like Spartacus. Christine is like co OP. Better than they better than they gave it. Sometimes, just speed is more important, actually the thing being funny. Sponsor supermarkets well. So. I thought that might help. One the whole isn't about that. Hello, yes. After out towards full. You you mentioned North Korean. How is this a terrible racist? From them that. They don't let North Koreans. Place today's. Papers as before. But he was the next. I don't think we we. We might need another one to at. There's been enough thank you. I. Thank the Koreans, I like the which if you had to choose one of North Korea agreed. On which side do simple? North fucking racist against the South Korean. So. What's? I'd say neither I choose all of give career back to the Koreans. That's why I. Give career back to the Irish as well. How long have you saved me from this? To Funeral. Fine on, isn't it? It's a fine line. Between it occurred to the deputy. That's fine about. Need Saudi. This audience has a strange moral compass. Seems to be on. The plane is good. Yeah, we're all just be rude. Everyone equally. The blind. balancings up one more and then guess time making a horrible thing. He's he's reconsidering I'll have to check. Killed someone from Pakistan. Sorry. From. Came from ARISTA morning. ME. Pick dog from the Kennels go. To you. Today is being the very formal. It occurred to me. Which is nice. That doesn't usually happen, but that's good. It occurred shoot, so you came into dot dog of foot infection in the Kennel or someone looking after you. And the kennels Ashen naturally the KENNELS. Picks. Your cats cystitis. How do you know about that? Telecast slice when I was fucking I know it's the end of my mom side tingling and. Hardware. How do you know the cat? Urine! It's not an issue, and that's how you tell parents don't have. Don't have saying. Don't have sex for the cat finance. Ironically if you try and have sex with it, find does probably will have his ear. What did you make me do? Yes go one way parakeet with. PARAKEETS! On Hold Janney to war. Went on honey. What there wasn't any. mcadoo! All of the sad thing then on. Top PATCHETT in. Becoming clear why this audience were even remotely and remotely shocked by my arse right by PIPPI. You've started advocating. Rowing on this. Anyway. Thank you if one. Sometime Yeah sometimes. It's great going into the audience. He looked like he was going to be a good one. We had the civil ceremony pulling flags. Ever John Everyone thought. I can't believe that. Racist. Right panels just sometimes it's the way it goes start with the rubbish ones and then build up next time. Using someone asked tells us to in the end. which might be what happens in the end so Else, it occurs to me. Listen to. PODCAST while being bombed by Chris Busey. Be This. Deliberately move. Back in this, because he was near another piece of material, no, no Ainu we'd be, cat right. FLAGS COMING THIS GUY! I'm obsessed. Still? He's nothing to do with me is a five star. Review from Vincent twice back in October of two thousand, nine hundred, I hope you dream comes true Vincent. You a dream, and like another Vincent on I. Don't know if Chris Busey listens to this show. If he does, and he's interested in bombing Vincent twice or even just wants to see to have was they listened to a Optima? Then, do get in touch. It might be nice if you do the actual bombing as you listen to the sting together, but all the stuff on here is good for bombing to that's mostly. It's mostly we'll a mind when I'm writing I'm thinking. Is this saying the mood for bombing? Maybe, just put your MP three player on shuffle that the good times begin. On because I do tape, it is safe. Chris Sakaguchi sounds like that when he's laughing nothing now. He sounds when he's at Jackie. Another man's anus. Off. Chris! cocky. That's my feeling. Wednesday say filming some extras of my Hitler Moustache DVD. Tober. Andrew Callings and Chris Evans, not that one from going foster Straw I expect many of you coming tonight especially because you were hoping to see tiny under collins in the flesh. Popular does have to be saying to be willing to use a strange furry three foot tall creatures. Chica Boo, which is something only I. Remember from the Nike. Helpful! Oscar. CHICA BOO. She's alright. and. act. And this is Rawlins big like is in the face of Mark Steel Cross who Mr Bean. I'm afraid to tell you already to be disappointed here that the real under Collins's told me he no longer will allow me to represent him. In cartoon sketch forms because under. It seems is like the Hampton Muhammad. It's. Disappointing and ludicrous I know, but we have to respect the deeply-held religious convictions of others. No matter how patiently stupid they are, so that's Andrew Collins I'm talking about any was listening to your ideas good. He won't be in the show this week. I'm sorry to say but. Why don't you just imagine he standing in the background of this sketch saying something, and then saying aside, and then say the opposite is the thing is. If, you think that's funny. Just imagine. Anyway this. Just changing chaining up my newly minted bike and Spanish guy rush doctor. Should you? Must Have Fun of yours. I was. Surprised by that goes I. Don't know I. Many Spaniard fans. I was like yes, cools assault. Dan Moyse Chris Evans filming this like a superstar. He probably recognize me from heads up with Richard. Herring my popular pocus on Chechen together in America. No EMC scrooge. He'll be. Probably coming it'd be coming in the full, yes. Oh the autumn. But The henny said you'll passion for food is inspiration. I, said thanks, but. Then, I considered what he said for a second and our. Mistaken for someone else good, but maybe not 'cause like lady. Do have a passion for food. Is anyone looking at my stomach in this Hong Kong Dijon and we had just been litigating in Nando earlier. Maybe seeing gracious manner in which? I tore apart that chicken gang. Every single piece of me are just spotted parts of its clean skeleton down my card. Most likely I think he'd seen me being filmed and thought I must be someone famous, and then I was someone else some people. Sometimes they look a bit like the chef. The chef the chef James Martin though I don't think I'd do anymore. Bid Really Long, and I'm much older an ugly of him so I. Someone else that. Maybe you think Marco Pierre White, which is more and so. One of the Harry Bikers which is more insulting? Possibly James Corden. That would be the worst but I. I could've told him he was wrong, but he was so a few seven. Happy to see me. It would have been embarrassing and humiliating two point nine zero so I just said Oh. Thanks that means a lot to me and hoped he would leave then having got instead, he said. The two together. I knew if he did this. He would take that photo away to show to his friends and say look at me with my Hill James. And they'd say there's no James Martin. There's just some fact block looks like an age, Jesus. Maybe didn't Jesus Garcia. He had a passion for food. He was a bit of a glutton and a wind bieber. Cancer he was so passionate about food. You could make a bit of bread and some fish feed five thousand people. He'd been ways on ready steady cook. But let me tell you the picture. Anyway. Leaving happy thinking. He met someone that he happened in, but I felt Kinda Bad I. Just like to know who he. Is So we could see. And to. Say. Someone, who isn't racist? They can't even see cover that sound. Beautiful. Sophie Rexona, so we are I. Thank you, thank you. Charlie Bowman do you think now three? Anyway so if anyone, if you know the Spanish minorities, the Spanish maybe does let me I don't really have a passion for food anyway, you Christine. As it occurs to me. I missed it to leave versus Paraguay for this shit. I wouldn't even Miss Algeria versus Slovenia. For this. Thursdays walking of Jesus. I was doing some research. My Edinburgh Fringe show Christ and by the second coming. Through. And I was reading, The Gospel, according to Matthew. Any Christians have actually read the Bible or thought about what it says for one second. It really is a load of fucking shapes. Honestly just palpable, contradictory nonsense, we stomps all over commonsense analyst Oracle fact, this is what Matthew says about the three kings and low the stall, which they saw in the east, went before them to came, and stood over with a young child was so the three kings Florida Star, which led them to a specific house slash stable denied altitude. You think the star. Must have been at to be able to indicate a specific house. Maybe fifty feet from the ground, the maximum, the smallest stars in the universe are red, dwarfs, which have a diameter about two hundred thousand kilometers. Eating more people to spotted that if it was just fifty feet above the money, just before gravity pulled the into in burnt to a crisp. But. Maybe it was special, tiny magic star, the size of a football, the guarded invented specially, which wasn't hot. It also couldn't burn stuff up. That could move along and then stop and hovering one place that that would make sense. You'd think if that was the case. This of shining football in the sky, we quite unusual occurrence when they have been mentioned somewhere else in history, incredible star, or at least everyone in the area would have come down to. Let's see what the fuck was going on now just three kings shepherds, so that was worth avenue. Look at grow up. Christine's made up. My favorite thing about Matthew's gospels the way it makes King Herod fucking idiot. The three kings came to Jerusalem looking for the newborn king of the Jews which worries Howard a bit because he is the king of the Jews, so he gets his holy together. Work out this baby. We'll be in Bethlehem. He's got the information, but instead of sending his RB tobacco them to search for the baby and kill it. He calls the three kings to him pretending to be their friend, and says go and search diligently for the young child found in. Bring me word again. That doesn't make common worship him also very well can. We shall do that promise. Olf Review. Good yet right well, you like. When you go to the Bethlen back by? The food. The fucking idiots. They are full of my brand trick when they tell me where this. Bushman I will kill. Ya, she eats a good trick. This as your chief advisor, question you decision. If there is a child born by will be King of the Jews we should. Say. Would you say? Should Thing. You're listening to my plan. We'll find out where he is. When those three complete strangers come back and tell us when we can can. Is What if they don't come back though. I make I made the promise. But, what if they do tool or whatever the time it takes to come back? The baby somewhere is why not just go along with three complete strangers now all follow them. Find out where the babies and get straight away. Ono! Better we'll. We'll wait for their return. In the unlikely event that doesn't work in a couple of weeks I'll get my soldiers to go to Bethlehem and kill the children under two years old. Doing something about it now and killing just weren't charge kill. Yes. That's definitely best rags. You See. We knew the babies in Burien right now. Killing all children busier. If you told the soldiers to do that now rather and give him the opportunity to escape and become King of the Jews Zach your scared. Known. My Way to patiently for the three complete strangers to back. Because reports coming in from busy of quite an unusual nominative with. A star is hovering is stable. Skies Angels and stuff. It's just a crazy guess I reckon that my the new king is just in case. Why do we just get you'll soldiers in towel and Ski Liberal Nine? If I, killed everyone in a house every time a star came within fifty feet on the ground, and about the Middle East angels in the sky, and the magic coming from the east to give them expensive presents. Many subjects lifted govern would die. In any case I happen to know this baby called be Christ because I'm the dine full, BC. Before, he's even ball. Anyway. Germs everywhere. Think you safe with your liquid soap where you're wrong. Because we address all upset. People Round to every supermarket in the country injecting I rival soap with soap resistant rats syphilis so by us. Oh! Oh, you will die. Wow? I think that might be funniest punchline to his sketch them has ever be. Looking, Herod Sketch was over long pedestrian stand now now I owning. Because that was just absolutely drained credibly peanut joke. He's going to win us the. Just fourteen hundred pounds. But some. Anyway the three kings didn't come back because the angel of the Lord came to the minute dream, Matthew uses that device quite lock my written for the series medium. Some point as well is because every time. Something happens he to explain what. But like in the medium it doesn't just dream doesn't just explain everything straight away. It does three dramatic chunks, so you knew you had to make a story work because. I was just assign. And how you tell you the Angelo TOLD THEM NOT TO I can't help thinking if the angel of the Lord Appear to the three kings in a dream earlier and told them not to visit Herod in the first place might have saved the lives. Those infants who were needlessly slaughtered. He's almost like the angel food wanted. All those kids get killed like the angel of the Lord was watching it happen and wanking about. Joint to worship Lord US perverted child, killing angels like that because it returns my stomach to think of it doing. As shepherds washed their cop sat. All watching TV. The Angel. came. And Taking Advantage of the distraction afforded by an. Advertising Brain Masturbate. Over some that baby boomer. What really happened if this? At this podcast gets founded a thousand years time and people mistake it for Gospel. Likes me. Boil. Sabo here up. Scotland the. Secondary We. I stood up ahead. Got Mehanna Click that. Look. Like up. At the pack. Specially away night. By cerullo. That be. Do Expensive. Me! God. Blocking. Like I said. I'll be off the end, but fringe this Hogan. If if anyone. Wants to have a word. I, swear DSM Greens nine, forty five. Anyway. Let's go to Christian relief. One of these weekly topical songs wonder what's is musical satirical Lila's lawsuit quite. Palestine and Israel wonder what he'll choose these inspiring. Okay this is this is from the Red Hot Chili Peppers Fred. Do so yeah, yeah, great and. The best part of a and The song about the environmental disaster. Some really good because all their songs, they usually about sex. This is totally different us about the dangers of deep drilling. Our big buildup of Roy D. Fluid. To blow out and It's called spill yo mass. God is a big fat. And your drill it so hard to deal with. The deep pits history. You got to slow down because it seems to be going to spill, you'll best. Best. ow, spill, spill your best video. Mess now. Expedia best best best. Don't do it, would you? You want to spew it. You got it. The stood united under originated. Prevent. To. Greater Dago spill spill spill best now spur Nobel. Spill your belts. Cow Spill a best best best now. This is really a song about. Best. Come on squid, best everybody. Spill! Else. Off, finished. In Christianity. Wasn't as. Red Hot Chili Peppers Fan by the way. You and you found this podcast I'm afraid you're GONNA have to choose one or the other. Seriously you're not. GonNa make a decision now. You could use them if you want. But if you choose that, you never allowed to listen to this ever again. I hate them their shit. Now you might to choose. Can only dismiss. We throw away all your Red Hot Chili pepper records, but just throw away a hundred times because that's. How they make the divers. So anyway chest! Thanks for listening. They're just three shows left in serious. Thank God so. Do you come down to join in the fun? If you can next Monday's the law show here at the Denver at the balloons? On June, the twentieth on July, the Fifteenth wwl wrench comes last gate for details on sale for one of Edinburgh Autumn. Seventeen August had ww dot a seventy festival dot com now because there's only a few tickets. Quickly you can also. Website or at www infringe dot com, where you could also get tickets. The ten live and collings and Herrin podcast. It was still working together. Boy. That'd be to make it if you want to nail murder. Then such a OPTIMA. I. Don't my salty. NYNEX, not you. I don't know really everyone also one copy eight. Excuse. Now. It's made tiny. He's out on the show anymore the real. Literally for bad me, one fear is now. Now. I know the callings doesn't mind mass. Ireland molested. assigned. There is now assigned on Randy and. I. Just wanted to Northampton with my wife and Mullah. Passing. And to Catha, my song tiny tiny. Well, All Good! What you should do that? Just tiny tiny hundred out they smelling. Here come home. In tiny Mrs Collins a distraught. Do. A. Show. Would do if anything happened to him? assigned. Crying for. These I don't really. Read it must really. Close. They're. All. Catch up a tiny human rains. That only be new. Keep away from that. It's not these tiny. Tiny tiny Andrew. No. Hate you. Don't get melodramatic. He wasn't really with just a fictional character. Is Death was just? It was just a sound effect and Emma Kennedy making funny noises. And you. Can Kill me now. It's to write and really stupid springs. I'm going to stretch out. I relented over the next three week. Talks of Writing Three Moss. Good I'm glad because he bought dead. At least listen to your stupid voice. And you will. For to die is to sleep to sleep accounts to dream, and in that sleeper death. What dreams may come Shakespeare didn't know because he's a fourteen idiot. But I can tell you that sleep. Dream globally me, saying. Yes, aside no assign yet. No assigned. Garlic bread. On Ten. Just leave me Lagaffe. I will for now. Goodbye. Exits? Bed! Colleagues fictional emphasis. And also bed. Reference to Shakespeare's. Sony remains buoyed the ones. The middle one very spoilt that these that was the win. This winter's tale quite obscure, the show of a nearby intellectualism which fades away when you think about it for a second realize it meant nothing at all and the rest of the show, bumming and baby, death and nothing else this week. fucking cats Democrats. Backs. Anyway in next week for more of the same. If my imagination is capable of destroying my actual physical beef this Delo, but I'm like. I'll probably say clocking backpackers. RULED CENEX time buying. Rick Harry would be leaving the Mackenzie. Musical based. Bed Woke Up. We Damon Paulo Kellyanne Bill Russell Ricardo. Everyone has spent. Special thank. God, he's inevitable data over. Taylor. Going Company this week production for anybody. There's a list. Thank. You Talk French sleeveless.

England Andrew Collins Emma Kennedy James Corden US football King Herod Richard Chris Sacca Busey Robert Greene Matthew Christine Gary Coleman Peo Northampton Germany John Everyone Amazon twitter Roy D. Fluid
RHLSTP 222 - Angela Barnes

Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre Podcast

1:00:20 hr | 2 years ago

RHLSTP 222 - Angela Barnes

"Hello and welcome to a brand new series of us. The plan today with angela barnes recorded in brighton and funny enough with that count on the road full of the the next series which is being recorded now and we're back in brighton on the fifteenth of september at the brighton theatre royal. It'd be lovely if everyone who came see those two gigs exim bryant would come to that one. We got simon evans and to be confirmed. I end up on the road. All autumn in leicester on the nine hundred thousand timber bristlecone sobek on the twenty second isn't sending out richmond theater in london on the twenty ninth of september than winchester exeter couple of games in newcastle astle this semester square two gigs as well coming up and almonds it goes goodrich chang dot com slash host slash tool rich dot com slash gigs eggs to find out about that we got rachel paris coming up take face grayson perry and clearly huck and limited in glasgow on the twenty fourth of november which is already selling extremely quickly beloved to see you. One of those gigs disappointed about us if you can. We've got enough in the camps. Take is up to december but say we'll carry on weekly you for a very long time is about a year's worth just from this tool so thanks very much sit back relax and enjoy lester patout the gentleman well the market in home. Please swab come on. These leading susan's just fermented. Why hasn't this five years as rigid very much. Welcome welcome to the show. This is richard herrings. Let's start trump. Leaning podcast is <hes> new podcast. I'm just going to try and stop trump leading with the guests getting they have. It looks like you've got to have a gimmick these days so many podcasts and you give me but i was hanging out on the breakaways i three sixty. It has lost three point eight million pounds this year and the third the third the number of visitors. There was two other people on there and they called us too so i don't know that's gonna i gonna catch on. I was quite interested in. I haven't been on actually really in real life. The british airways i three six london i but it's not as good and i went on chip. Advisors read the one-star reviews of it which the majority but one of them said if i wanted to view a soaring bird i'd fly if i want to sending thrill from height. I'd visit the eiffel tower. If you're in brian come on be fat and then somebody else says similar to the london i you'll not come in your pants but enjoyable in its own way. If you're expecting to come in your pants on a tourist attraction your expectations are too high. A one star review coming my answer all had to get my penis masturbate myself too gasol gasol and we already have of course beautiful hove the which you know has a very funny motto town of hope. We wish we were proper brighton <hes> but leaks portslade village so that's some i'm not going to do too much because because we we had pressed for time. This is a bonus extra show. We put because of the huge demand. If you're listening to brian i'll be back on the september two role <hes> my guest. This week is probably best known for her appearance on the body shocking show. That's why we're all this. Will you please welcome down coming move. The shocking show the body shocking channel five so it was obviously brilliant. It was a show about people all who don insane things their bodies so people who's the one that sticks in my mind. There's a long time ago. There was a guy who'd had these achilles heel passed and it because soap opera ended up in a wheelchair and it was really hard to feel sorry for him. I remember sitting down with the director before and they were showing us the clips of things we're going to look at it. We had to talk about and it was people have piercings and it was japanese craze of the bagel head so that if they checked like saline solution it's their foreheads to make their foreheads bagels and stuff like that and then just types to the next one and it was angelina. Jolie's knees and psyche knees fuck off the match up second age. She's a woman in her forties taking the the piss out of that done that to a cell. You should walk out there in them the money rich so i know goat this. You've got an amazing rice success. I came into the gig for you when you propose doing it feels like only yesterday that was thousand tonight. It was great. I remember doing hit the mustache and you came and did a preview in the foam toughening just on the road from here. I used to run the funny farm in tiny little upstairs. We somehow contravening all health and safety. Go about sixty five people in that room you testing out the first night. I remember the little hit. The mustache is that you gave people but these first time you've done it. You bought it gave everyone rash sere so by the end. Everyone did have the head start. They could get rid on for about a week. Day was deliberate move my boss. Luckily soon i think in the end we used like velcro. I just got a lot of velcro tape that we i yeah but yeah some people still jewish too. That was the good old days of the two thousand with all sorts right then we planning point to do standup told it was so yeah that would it be two thousand eight and my dot died that year in the summer very sunny and he's to come to all the shows us at your show coming up. Wasn't the moustache that yeah well. I thought it was like to tell you a lawyer and he always used to say what. What are you gals kind of ago stupid. I couldn't do that then after he died. Don't just short in a sixty eight million so i signed up i did the genetics woods comedy calls here in brighton media. I thought well i'll give support because i was booking comedy night. I knew loads of comedians so i want to go out there and make a complete ask myself. A lot of people are new. You know safe way to do that was that we'll win because i i heard you in two thousand eleven the b._b._c. i was drunk driving around driving from gigs or onto gays when that when that was on it was always kind of cheering you on through the state and then you gotta ended up winning inventor was fantastic. That was obviously the big break to win so yeah i mean i wasn't supposed to win in a final with joe licet say it was really funny because it was live from radio you too and i'm i'm hard of hearing like so i wear hearing aids and i was backstage so very often at one stage can't hear what's going on on stage. They didn't have a relay in the venue. We win and patrick kilty was hosting it and it was live on air and they announced the window and joe's honda don't make he's like shoot shot this video youtube summer. I came out a chick type cable. Just wasn't supposed to pack. Eh was getting like a radio. Show was naive. I'll be the year after that. They introduce partner didn't even get any money. My lump of respects well done. That's what i did. I did that such an agent or anything. Then i'll tell you if you did not spot for about eighteen months so it didn't actually start properly until two two thousand ten and yeah so then i had agents so getting in touch and it was like oh this is real now. This is the day job and then yeah so. I took it from there because what strikes me especially with your generation that that generation of so difficult to get your head above that parapet ready and they're trying to do something. This is quite a rare story for someone to go right. I'll start in comedy in two thousand and nine go as far as a shouldn't really bring up another focused i did when i was still early on just after i wanted i did. She goes comedians. Comedians focused. We recorded an episode. He's accomplished this out. It gives people too much. Hope this season you star eighteen months later you win thing and inclined and if something like that so i think i mean i was thirty three. When i started doing stand up so i think in my head i was cogan with this because i'm not twenty and that's the way you say my generation of standup. I mean really weird position because the people i call my school year. Eh standup show that started at the same time. I mean most of them are a decade or more younger than me. Whereas the people that are my age just sort of a decade or more ahead of the game the may so i mean this weird so middle ground not be one of the young kids but also not being an l. God so yeah that's the way it does because the new in my mind would still play. She went with with that generation but i i simply because i came back to stand up in two thousand and forward. You know i didn't really did sound very early on but then i kind of gave didn't want to do on my own so i'm assuming affiliated with that guy. Russell howard was just so getting big on the circuit. That thought so but i've got the same thing from this much. Older guys came came back into school. Take interesting it'd be it's it's remarkable. The cumbrae i often think wouldn't if i were starting now the even in the last five years it's changed because when i started you didn't have ten years ago nineties. Go whatever what you didn't youtube stalls seventy people just making their own content podcast one is because they are now and now everyone can make put it out there and actually yeah. I feel like a dinosaur that i don't know where to start with that stuff and so i think in some ways if i left the any later just i would've what about together but it is i think when i started there was lots of people who had life experience and then come back to so they'll guys who'd worked on the docks and there were guys who works you know improper in like jobs as lawyers doctors whatever and then become stanton and now a lot of twenty year olds tidings which is sort of what i was doing this but you you don't have any life experience. I wonder how relatable twenty overnight people to other twenty to a certain extent but you know how much he's now the geico you can on a tray on a on the m six on the friday night nice twenty year olds are doing that does make you wonder. I'm quite glad i had some stuff in the bank not to bring together. I don't know who you are you ready to anyone probably not 'cause i remember talknet. No comedian knows who they pretend to be someone else but i should say i did. I didn't mention the reason i was yeah. Just in case anything happens the reason i worried about wearing. This is what i remembered. Last time i stopped wearing because the fly just keep on kept on coming down aw and free until my if my penis boxer is just it's not aw if i don't come during always on my times uh-huh is all nasa if they can't stop becoming japan's. Can they mean they can't stop that on your. I'm not touching anyone not just on your own when they stop that then we're in trouble some boos from the people that one that stopped i think is there is my only yeah i was talking to. You might have been professor. Alice roberts no such thing as a fish guys told me you're an expert on nuclear bunkers is strong word. I've got a little obsessive. Love concrete things right i when i grew up in the seventies and eighties she's been always a everything was made of concrete school was the bulk of fats lived in a play grounds. Were that that so real not standard of concrete. We're not discovered the fifteen hundred nuclear bunkers in this country. I wanted to find them right and i've done gigs in them. This massive ones out. I mean i could go on about this. I was uh-huh not but then i looked at you it's going to be how many <hes> if you being in the fifteen hundred must have been at least twenty. Some of them are a derelict now and you can't get by find more because they will solve dotted alone the countryside. I wet my fellow. He's not interested in them. At all. He loves the country walk and we the and every every year and as in bird we go on my day off. He'll book surprise being out in the countryside somewhere. We'll go out and we went out in this rambling unbelievable. Just literally just rambled close a nuclear bunker them undergrowth just spotted the ventilation shop is oh for fucks kind even go on a walk without you just finding a nuclear bunker what you think j._j. You are you concerned about nuclear war or no. No no this is i love them because i think i'm i'm gonna head to one if the worst happens if the worst happens. I'm going to head to ground zero. That's pro life after a nuclear. We're not going to be no just get it done done. Cyanide pill however the none of the bunkers that you think this would be nice based. Anyone haven't been up now. I mean they thought doma the trees the even the big ones. It's you sleep and they don't have so they built for four hundred people. They've only got like hundred beds so you do a hotbed system so this is your visit just never gets washed seniors. One president gets now. You get in for people in a bed vessel right. We have to repopulate the earth so i'm thinking so you do you do you did do show about how to survive a nuclear apocalypse that new on the radio with radio fall about cold or secrets. It's not just john robbins came on and we talked about he's obsessed with he's like a more preventative. Things not job yeah i love him but he's an joe and <hes> yeah so we talked about his plaid surviving nuclear apocalypse and i thought i was joking when he says on his radio show that he planned to is. We have to cut so much yeah. He knows he knows what in fact if you wonder what to do in a nuclear apocalypse follow john robbins. He knows where he's going very long. Though is there between finding is happening. I'll tell us if it was about to happen. Would you now i look at back in cold war. You had the four minute warning the thing but now weapons are so much more advanced than they were then but even if they had four minutes. Tell us yeah. We doing not for me. I know what you're doing now. Five minutes we can do in the other three minutes chain. I'm sorry i'm gonna ask you emergency questions throughout the back because we're you know these people have come to a tour show. Yeah and i'm gonna go early in the book because this is old school provinces the promises of the provinces. Let's face it hope so. Would you rather be a cower badger. I won't be patrick over about hair underneath. They look like about you very much now. Yes definitely black and white stripes in the have you ever seen a ghost. I never because they don't exist. I just want to see that's the tool support. Phil jared is host. He is no he's absolutely desperate to see a ghost buckles and believing them but he's desperate experts to see what and wherever we go if going to really old theater while i'm staged a show he'll come back up and he'll show me where he's got under the stage and film. Can you see anything you think he's like no because they don't exist often are in place felt a little baby but i think he was to the winter gardens in which was the venue welcome. Starting laurel and hardy played that is a derelict shell now 'cause somebody in the seventeenth burnt it down as an insurance job and john richardson been more local is part of their trying to restore. It's taken a long time and he every year does a big show there and they basically solve there's no roof on it but they just hiring a lotta seats and and do it to raise money for hospice and done and i did it one year and they took me and heaven matt four. They took us on a little tour and took us underneath the stage and i think it was actually just matt ford was really winding up. What was actually happening but that's gonna pay. All this is a bit eerie era. I'd imagine matt ford is terrified of ghosts yea yea just math because he goes up myself. Have you seen a ghost exist is this this is a good question number six six. I don't know if this very often isn't silver actually better than gold. Yeah hate goldens tacking yeah way better than go. Don't tell them that because they'll charge. A small enough gold the old expensive ago. I'm going to go on page one. How it's not the question i thought it'd be that's lucky that wouldn't have worked. Would you prefer to have a handmade. Tom is pumped into the crowns or an armpit suspended suncream. I don't do it very often so enjoy it. I'm not gonna get the second odi. Is that pleasure you about that. Come into both the the thing about this question it definitely the armpit because i don't eat me but you could eat meat. That's the things you could eat your own hand because no animal dies for any grows packs you still have i get it but i also. I very easily of go very pale. Skinned your story going to bring up but i i do so if i could affect fifty. Would it be like to be a high factor. Choose the fact that that much money because so. I can't leave the house in the summer without cover myself. My mom said oh you depot needs. You've read heads don't use it's not my natural haircut the best to me mom remember this. You got my head. It was a mistake to get into skin graft the talking of skin being yes. Your skin has been burnt. Raven is good. He liked it i am i think i'm seeing to go sit in the from raising what happened say i had next with a whole muscle and got bans on my tits so so i'm not gonna say material while she just the bit. They're still quite ready. How about six weeks ago but that's the bit not bad. The is is pretty grim led to pencil my tastes as it was happening if they get again at least ten minutes autists is always the thing as a comedian howie however is even in the moment it was the whole thing was i mean it was so when it happens and i was just pouring boiling water hold suppose which party you're not supposed to do but everyone does and and it just saw gurgle them some fountain up my face all the face so called top and put my head under for about ten minutes and then i realized realized that i was wearing a jumper fhu almost the jumper off got myself in a cold shower now right so i know what to do and i i knew i needed to get to the news that bad but i can drive myself. They're not able to call an ambulance could walk in so and my boyfriend was on his way home from work. She's going to be another hour so actually phoned boyfriend and then phone phil jared who lives not fussy he came. He's my hero that night. He came and picked me up bless him but by this come out of the shower and i wrapped myself in cling film because that's what you're supposed to burn because it still doesn't have any bits that can get into bed so quick yourself acclaimed film dressing gown on phil turned up and not looking at these and the call we drive this way and it was absolutely rams rams and it was blue so round is almost like the government are trying to destroy the n._h._l. This never ever happens happens to me by somebody gets recognized. I'm not telling you enough for that to happen and i am the no the also seek so's i was up there and the section is right in the waiting room and it's ramped right and i walk in and the receptionist. I've i've got my tits rats cling film. I'm soaking wet. When addressing gown the sexiest would you all the way to even just went never look fill georgia's just pissing himself salford. Why now why now so yeah not happened really recovered fully or is this probably have some skoll <music> so i had to go up to the bones unique squint student so been treated by them and they are brilliant so very the bones unit eastern listening thank you but it's all very undignified because it's literally the burns on my across my nipples and the worst one i have to do this. Show you the west one down. It's the shape of a nike. Swoosh improve my sex. Life really is the idea of just do it. It's my boyfriend's now because the scott says she's the nurse was like she had to show me how to massage it to stop scarring too much. It was like you've got a massaging for ten minutes. It's the day show this. I can't be i copy orgasm inc for ten minutes a day shift today and yeah so sweet dignified way taking avid xiaowen massage for five treatments my tits before ten minutes. Do you think the burns unit people resent. The fact that you'll burn isn't really a proper coming with proper and in fires accident. I typically comedian benji waterhouse. Who's the psycho. He's a psychiatrist but he's got a friend that he did his medical training with who is now a plastic surgeon who specializes in. It's not common yeah so i'm just lucky i didn't. I need to skin graft. Peres monitoring the bit. Put him in the band. Get yourself one of those laughing to hate patch put in the microwave. You're going to have to do like a public information. The danger jeremy finds people touch what you wanna come on. Jeremy vine showed no name falsehood. Now i talk. Would it be the voice of hits me in my life so i could be your man. Draw this so yeah. Just just just one here tells a friend not a horrible then we'll get a message out that way without debase myself on radio well. It's interesting because my guest also talking to in brian. Stephen grant's been in a terrible terrible bike accident to to scott pru last god what whoa he'll tell you about his skull with his scarf so we'll ask him. Yeah must be very exciting to be to be now. Regular on the news quiz shows the week gano. You're a big fan of the smith especially before yeah for yourself so that's gotta be pretty exciting to get to that so surreal it socio because i like i remember when i wondered comedy award in two thousand eleven and i did an interview with talk to have to do that and dignity future also and they said you know if you win. What's your what's your ambition and everyone else in the final was set to be on the apollo hello to not want to be on the news quiz on the east coast and that week jesus please contact me and ask do some writing on it which as far as i'm concerned that man i've made it do date on the news quiz and then a few years later on finally got here peninsula and it's just it's insane. I called i sit there and god bless him very often be satellites to jeremy holiday yeah and just couldn't believe whether it be treated like one of the guy you know they even called the seat next job according bouncy seat because definitely my right ear they sit me with my left ear to the host so you start calling it bonds and i just it's insane that i'm i keep keep expecting the top of the shoulder terrible not a comedian but it hasn't come an offshore to do. I've done a couple of times not my forte thing but it's because it's coming coming up with the obviously you get a chance to prepare you know. The news is anyway so you can you. Can you get bit of jin. What's going to come up. Ah how much time do you speak because i didn't. I thought i'll just wing this. I'd say my agent always says about bounds he doesn't i. I like to prepare things and i'm not unnatural improviser so i like to know what i'm gonna in something like that. You have an idea of what my thoughts are and also. I'm terrified to say something that could be taken away or get myself in trouble so i do like to know roughly what i'm going to say. I have a couple of gags in my ahead of them but it's been hard the last couple of years his fucking joke about brexit. You're going to have to taste simultaneous tapia's. It's so tedious doing news jack you call win because you'd every tick fast episode of nishat hosted was the day that donald trump was inaugurated so i saw when food i two years and every week obviously be brexit and trump trump brexit trump. They were the main stories and the headlines and you couldn't win. If you didn't do it go in the main stories he did to. It's all fucking. I caught up what's going on in the world. It's so tedious but very good guy so you do clip the roast battle. You take very strong. Jokes love those people who are not quite well well. I'm not saying they're not picking personal stuff. You got really nailed that with really good failure so they make these his years younger than me. He's like my comedy little brother because we started at the same time twenty twelve. We did two hundred the festival together so we all really close and i was really really nervous about doing most popular. He's not really my thing just to be mean to people for the sake of it and then they dos mac to do basically said i'll do it if i can do with angela hello and i was quite nervous but we sat down and we just a you know where our red lines were. You yeah you benchmark dead dot whatever that's five days and then we went away and i knew and he knew that we're both quite thick skin. You worked really hard for him to actually upset me and so we could really have fun with it because i think that show would be really hard on some people do it with people they barely know and i just couldn't do that. I need to snow was safe and you know we gave each other a big cargo soon it was over and it was all fine. It was a lot of fun and also excitability much darker horrible stuff. It was really nice to be able to delve into not bad. You know you call do that with the news very good. I'm not good at guys do you. When you did get interviewed by they went out. Oh you weren't very hard writing writing writing pages pages of to get some jokes. I write one gag year. I'm very happy. The people freely comes from a place of anxiety because i i don't think i said this. I'm so nervous that the next last not gonna come. It's a packet. We've as many gags can give it a chance the longer they're not laughing. I'm sweating and if you're gonna do if you are topping all the time you joking you top it and talk coming up and then that gets that lovely people laughing at something and then something else makes them not as as a comedian. That's a great thing to have as an audience member. It's great just to get to that point where some so sloppy helpless whitlock because too many jokes are coming at once doesn't have any my shadow you safe with me. What am i may seven points uh-huh. Let's talk about that because i know you've done a show again apart about your dad. Your dad was quite a character that is he uh-huh. I love my top. He was not a conventional dots and say it was actually quite prudish of me. I was go. He run a sex shop for a living he was a swing a very liberal free love child of the sixties forever yeah and so i never had a be my parents divorced when i was nine and i don't know how they were ever married to each other so different my mum's lovely but just quite she can be catholic family. She's one of nine. I'm quite sheltered and dan devotee. They'd just got married young and then i discovered this other world and my mom was <hes> not really on board thing to say so he went off and i always say about my dad's love until he was the best in the world shitty husband but a brilliant dot and we were we were best mates. We were really close <hes> he still might not even still my growing up. He wasn't eating give a shit about anything but he that's fun and new he constantly because i was never pushed never any pressure to do well because my thought dropped out of school. My mom didn't finish school with any exams. Anything like it was a bonus. You know the fact. I went to university. Vesti was enough for them to be. They didn't need to do anymore and it just meant. I didn't have any pressure and so i learned about fun. We might in fact it was the other way back to east. Call me lisa simpson and i remember one. I always in pulp. I was about a six seventeen and i was in a pub with my friend underage drinking. Let you do and my dad knew which public gone to and him and his friends with during a charity pop call that night and my dad's was dressed as homer emma simpson and plummets me he wouldn't come into the puppy new debate of course he did of course he came and i just went straight out into the lose and hateful may be brilliant guy this fucking kill him. I he's whole life was about humiliating me loved it he he he's do things is true so when i was fourteen so he was a type one diabetic so he used to inject himself twice a day had been since he was a small child and he used typographic needles with the modern new fangled pen things we'd always have hypodermic and when i was fourteen he went eight him and my mom used alternate to my parents evenings at school and i was really studious child it was that was my way of rebelling was to be a good girl. You know studios and he got my parents evening and this form tutu mris ren she she was lovey she was textiles teacher and a very lovely and he went on to teach about he said to me before we went off all these pairs of us pretty boring always blowing smoke up your ass and off you you went and then he presents his my form choose from at the end of the evening with a hypodermic needle and tim for found this bag. Was it me the she was just. She didn't know she didn't know what he was like. I just played the blind didn't ever next got colds in the head of year dogs idea for john there. There was a letter sent home. Yeah it's me just before he died. We were up at the marina might not marin looking all the boats. They'd never never be able to afford and it was father's day. Two thousand we've gone up to the marina boats and we went for lunch up there somewhere and are you staying for dinner together needles insulin in my handbag and we were just leaving the restaurant and as i stood up one of these needles and out of the have my handbag onto the floor tactic rand. That's when you promised me you'd stop to still down just being bag and leave. God love him again. Stu it was because i told you about you and you're the best english and maths in your spelling yeah. It was real office going. I was yeah. I took my own spelling test primary school. I was that's what my mom says. I was like it from the dying to learn to read and i still to this day of rations review either i love reading and and my uncle was a headmaster and he'd sets my mom and dad thirteen sweep before she goes to school because then they'll teach different way and you'll get confused. Wait so my parents have kept saying to me. You'll be able to read it when you go to school. So why day one i'm going to be able to pick up. Warren pace power went in and they wanted audit reception plus a private school. You just play with toys and i stood up and said well. This is very well but my book learning. I've come hitler hitler. I've been that kid. I think i was way interested in my dad. Was i have masters but yeah i mean i think when you talk about the instruments because we can talk about that need for the need for approval in the when you get when you get praised which leads to ban comedian i was. I was very nerdy about studying and if i got something i liked i would. I'd rush ahead with those ending with cards or books that you could work in the end. I not matt's call to yeah. I seem to probably about ten years old level a level because just because i loved the the the approval of the teachers and i it really dawned on me how much of a praise i think thai armed yeah. I look back obvious but i as to swim. I never learned to swim as a child about five years ago. Now i took swimming lessons at crystal palace and i just got onto go into really quick because i that's lovely teacher. Jill and i realized i was practicing so i wanted to please jill dougherty everywhere. Look what i can do. Jill did the practice. She told me oh my i don't. I'm not prayed yes. I guess that's sort of what makes a coma kisner. Whilst would we be up here if we didn't get yeah. No one likes you at school because you like that so you have. I can't remember he said i think it might have been stephen fry but that thing of the thing that makes a comic. He's somebody with crippling low self esteem plaza desire to show off such a weird combination of things to have because i'm i suffer from exile jumping in hospitalized design when i was younger and now i'm doing this people naming school company this living well that good east hype have and wouldn't that that's sometimes it strikes me when you own stage you know when you went into a show and you know it and there's a voice and you had this us trying the fuck you up and says boy few forget how to breathe ask to speak and meditate if anyone coming up to me after the show tried meditational headbutting because central we all the happens when i try to meditate is i actually i'm on meditating. You're gong little voice in my head. Just goes some quiet time. Oh well. Let's go through all the things you've ever said and done in your life so that's why it's my brain so that my way of thinking we have to keep you occupied and yeah i i guess when you on stage and you start the thinking about how weird is as you're on your. We've doesn't have old often jam but when it does happen. It's really fucking yeah. Start thinking about what we're doing now. They freak you these people have i used to watch expert festival in one thousand nine hundred five and watching auto show and now i'm fucking happen. I i do that all the time. I'm sort of pinching myself just going well. Well that happens. It's a mark steel nibs in brighton here what's become good mates with him and everything i used to buy tickets and what your shows always and now we're having some lunch you know my house christmas day the fox going on fuck off marcus in my house now freaky all of his pretty the freaky really happening. Do you ever think that you've already very old in dementia in home. It may be the stuff you thinking. Maybe it did happen. Maybe it didn't happen but you know. There's no way of knowing that deja vu could just a little bit and you bring. This happened already. You slip shot up. We all right if that was feeding it also fairies. We're in some sort of computer simulation relation so i think that's true. I think that's true. I don't think it can be when you think of the chances of being alive so small yeah. I mean not even like you. Your sperm making a yeah thisiis sperm that you were when you before before you were joined together with an egg. That's per meeting the exit of the billion to one just for that. Your parents had to have sex. It sounds very much but you know they had to have sex at that exact moment and exact sperm get through and then that's all the way through history and all the chances way. It's just impossible that way. In the next century cry bull shit forgoing bath for we can only be like characters in the game the thing that makes sense. I'm i'm we're living in the united sort of the best to be alive as a human being. We haven't had to go through the shit that the pretend people in the computer game to get here you. We've got these luxurious lives with the levels of anxiety we still nothing like a tiger might come and buy my minute. Watch him yeah so. It's not a real so that's fine so don't worry about none of that is and you know things. Do you think yeah this is the kid who's playing this game. Liberty fucking thing brexit trump just got bored. So why have we do. I play civilization occasionally. A nuclear bomb birmingham secured just doing that and see how it was for the minor calf. My bro- then is in a video game was way he hasn't go about that and then he's a guy making us video game in the end and then this yeah interesting implode in your mind blown. You never the threatening what if you were there any real human. Everyone else's robots man. You never thought you could fuck them. Aw i went on. This is an interesting uh goodness time swimming by god. I it's kind of terrifying fast which again makes me video game. Wait forty forty. Five minutes is passed right. Ask for the guardian a few years ago. We've got a lot of publicity about about not seeing ugly three people on t._v. And people who are deemed unattractive and putting yourself back in that yeah well i yeah i mean all the help because i read the article. It was basically about how ugliness being portrayed on tv is not ugly. Betty was not they should just wearing glasses and and how you don't see people that looked like me or and i'm not saying that before this offer awesome it's really hard conversation to have because i ended up in hospital on junk accent such crippling low self-esteem particularly about the way. I looked that it doesn't matter whether you subjectively monthly or not that doesn't matter what's in here that matters and i genuinely believe that i was hideous properly. It used to apologize people public transport for having to look at me. I mean i was ill and and my point was that you don't see it's not so this movie is not helped by the fact that everyone you being told that these people are ugly when they're clearly and that the full danger people aren't represented wanted and lots of people doing good work in area now jamila djamil <hes> you know it's pretty but it's twenty thirteen. I wrote this ascona. It's off the back of a few things that happened and and of course people just read what they were seeing as me solve somehow trying to get people. He puts telling me on pretty which was fundamentally misunderstanding. The whole gist of the article or then people are complaining. That was an ugly enough. Ah you call win you really call it so and don't be saying the it's it's just about representation and everything's about you have to see it to be you know and that's why now suddenly we've got loads of women are doing comedy and it's brilliant because they're seeing seeing on their screens. At last. They're seeing comedy clubs at last which even ten years ago when i started i was still for the first five years only the only woman on the bill whereas whereas now that's changing and so more women are watching can going on now fuck. You can do this so yeah. It's a it's part of that representation. Love shit for it. It's probably is reinstating. I remember seeing so if you watch old t._v. Shows i remember members say like an old. I think it might come what it was about. There was no discussion arts discussion program and about life of brian or something like that but he was academics. Discussing stuff is it's just normal people. It's not is people who aren't the the identikit pretty or handsome in their more ugly men on t._v. They're the ugly but thank god for that still have a challenge but it was just shocking to see regular people with just like the academics from the nineteen seventies. You weren't doing the hair yeah yeah slightly squidgy faces. We looked a bit weird in some ways but <unk> actually just normal people they don't quit and then wade when you go out and look at the members of the public in front of us. I mean look at these christ or just walk down the street. Eh that's weird the way your brain one's brain is flipped to such an extent that it almost seems funny to see someone who looks normal onto robin. Thinking is the fucking weird that we only see one on t._v. Clearly it's not job this. That is nice if you look nice but it's not down to looking now and also there is such a gender divide in it. You know piers. Morgan proved to be pretty to be on t._v. So but you do if you're a woman it's the older man younger woman partnership that goes throughout presenting history. It's it's just not seeing yourself represented certain t._v. jobs. I've been told them too old for forty. Two you think well very well but twenty watching telly moms watching telly so who's representing her. You know how many and women in this my mom's sixty. She'll be sixty nine next month. I did spend the whole of that year. Just uh-huh somewhere the jeans and yet she's active active. She has a good social life and not whereas if i own wants for her but again. I think that's interesting because i think the t._v. People are so stupid about about it. They haven't realized that they essentially deadly interestingly. They actually is brexit shows. Yeah there is a huge on gets this and so it's kind of crazy. That's that's the case i mean not that youtube is any better than we self-selected there. That's what's interesting and and that's why if there is a program or a film represented the why you wanted to be represented and you've got to support that thing because actually people are people. Are you know everything in this business is run by the money of arete stop going to fill person or comedian whatever start seeing a different one than that ball become just economics at the end and another thing. I want to tell you get another slightly. Slightly serious was the what you've done with the the gang home the home safe alexa yeah yeah that was so let's be about year. Maybe just a comedian was immelt. An uber dec- dixon was going home from she was a open mic media just starting out in melbourne and was walking home after a gig one tonight. I'm was raped and murdered on her way. Home from the gig and people asked why women don't do comedy and i think one of the things that puts a lot of women off is that we spend a lot of time traveling about late night and night buses for the first six years on the circuit i couldn't drive. I didn't have a car car. I lived in london for a large chunk of that so people you'd have a geek in yorkshire somewhere and if pattern london and i get dumped on the outskirts of london we'll have to make my way back to crystal palace at three in the morning you know and and and it just didn't seem fair that we were <hes> even now. I've got a call very often multistorey car parts by the time i finished my show a come out is deserted and i go to the call on my own or and all these journeys that you may and you have to weigh up in your head. You know i really want this job. I want to do it and i want to be. Don't wanna make a fuss because if you make a fuss people's as i book you because the thing about comedies a million people in the line behind you do every go see don't wanna make a fast and by not making a fuss things don't get better and don't improve when people realize as an issue and then when that happens you see. There's a large what's really per female comics. We'll chat to each other support each other and we were like whoa. It's amazing really this happened before because we are often putting ourselves in these positions and so the first thing that happened was we started talking to promoters after because then you had called crete like this is how someone now we need to be careful and more and more promoters and it was that they didn't care it's just it hadn't occurred because most of the promoters of men who it doesn't bother them in the same way so most not suppose now we'll get your taxi taxi back to the hotel or get onto make sure they walk you to the station or to your car or whatever it's just that makes such a big difference and i found other comics on the bill will now ask you know you're right at home whereas before they just wanna get often you know which is fine i get it but now they just went away and and the one place is where we talked a lot about the festival when you're starting out as a comic edinburgh is extremely expensive. It's going to the fringe. People often don't realize that they're not performers that you pay a fortune for combination for to get a for your venue to take a long time to start making money in edinburgh and so and and the shows go on the baas rope until five a._m. The shows go on and if you spoke comedian he's trying to make it trying to get the stage time you don't want to turn down anything you want to be the the person that said no because they might ask you again and so very often you found i would find myself walking across the meadows at two in the morning with mckay's mckay's between my fingers going. This doesn't feel safe and not again not wanting to make a fuss and so we decided after what happened to you see. We decided we need to do something to make sure that no one else to make that decision the festivals place where we could do that because unfortunately i call it do it. For every city in every country has a huge amount of comics descend upon not bro and i wanted to make sure that no one ever has to go. I really want to do that gig so fuck it. I'm going to make this unsafe journey so we set up a fund save collective. We just took donations. You know sweaty won't kids donate they wanted to we were pressuring anyone to donate and <hes> we've raised about five thousand pounds and so we put that money in a taxi funds in edinburgh so we chose a taxi company in edinburgh where all their drivers police checked and we put the money in that fund and we set up a system whereby if you are a vulnerable the way we phrased it again. We got ship this because you you know you call please everyone at the moment well we got shit because the press in scotland install saying that we were suggesting that edinburgh on safe right which where safe fuck sake murders. Don't just happen anyway that that's a hold of it so we had to that point. Go any press because i've just twisting it so then we did registration system female performers we got the words out the by word of mouth really amongst per in perform forums and things and we said it was a women non binary people people who identify as women all well and the other thing we said was anyone who feels vulnerables. We went saying it wasn't for men. If you manage you feel vulnerable going. Hey we were not going to stop signing up but of course that it was all shipman. Get back to you know snot what we're again willful misunderstanding if you try to thing and but we set it up and it was a real success we loads of people used it. <hes> you know and didn't abuse it. Which was the other thing we were worried about. The people who take take the opportunity to take cogs everywhere charlie. We were willing to take that collateral damage. Really we thought well if one person gets home safety where they would. We'll take the head yeah but people were really and also the other things you know. A lot of people want to sign up because they said well. I can afford a taxi but what if you're out one night your purse gets knicks or you forgot forgot to bring you you. You still can be vulnerable. If you've got money. They still use the savage just pop back in donations next. If you feel bad about using it we wanted everyone to sign why not yeah when it was used in hopefully made few people phillipi safer. We'll never know wherever actually stopped everything happening but as long as people feel feel safer that's enough for me and then we won the rewards. People gave us the panel prize for setting up which was the price is five thousand pounds which which means. We now have the money to do it again. This year just just recruited me award interesting about that's the kind of thing that should they should pay for that. Every year that this melbourne comedy festival obviously this happened and this year melbourne company festival announce they've set up their own similar scheme gloom and and i think chattanooga burns to solve produces the friend she she was very keen on a frost money so that we didn't have to fundraise for it and i think in going for next year the after will probably set something with the fringe to make sure it's not just the other thing is you're trying to do a show in edinburgh trying to do the for that the same time and it was actually quite a lot that we took on so if we can make that thing that sort of runs itself for the future that'd be great yeah. It's pretty well done right. Well took out what will finish them that note being seeming like a nice person. We'll know something else mr pull up a. Are you going to be doing at bergen this yeah. I'm not carrying this year. Swansea relaxed not have you gave out. I'll be back next year and so two years. One year of is my kind of pilot yeah good idea. That was a mistake. I did my show in twenty seventy. I meant to tell you this. If i did tell you i did a show called fortitude because i turned forty but really wanted to call. It was all age which was what he did. I fuck on by eighteen ninety. One is not going to know about yeah. It's about as fifty is is. I love my fourteen year so do the pressure's off like a people stopped asking me what i'm going to have kids brilliant. They just to see my column now. That's what i want to thank. I find and you saw it. Gets your forties. You are the person you're gonna hold still going who will end up as it also with brexit and trump and the rise of the far right and all that going on on quite data near the end chubby but being a teenager now social media and the world fuck. I had some good times so you really really happy. I mean you you've settled in brighton. You bought a place in brian with your partner yet and i say that in brighton just in case there there are no homosexuals anywhere else certainly not where i live in harvard shall we don't have to i think that might have been one in london and so i think being settled and happy is good as a comedian about is i wanted to be honest because say much my stick was about being a loser in london being single and all of those things are made agency and when she went i'll fuck your in love on you know yeah but actually luckily my fellow lot to work with we talk about our ship and and stuff and yeah in a way which is called poppy and yeah valentine's day anything with that was so he yes somebody last year. He was away snowboarding on valentine's day and he's really not a romantic type seoul but you've left me on adjustment veggie. We just left me what was just a card and we're because we're both nerds we love cryptic crosswords and he lets me a cryptic treasure hunt around the flat need hidden my present in a day and i was so because it's not a big gesture kind of it was so out of character i was really moved by and so i took photos tweeted about what he's up amounted now i did and he was just tax. Actually we got thanks a lot. Mike show us vita like magazine articles in the states about it. You know yes mazing z one. Thank you so just think of you think you're on one familiar rarity chocolates for me now do anything again. He was there this year and it was valentine's. Day was like two days after i've done mine burns and so it's fading very sorry for myself so i if he does get next year. I'm going to be thinking something new and what's coming up next to you. Anything exciting in the long term surveys tinted around the place my website not wanna come on. I'm doing brighton in october and yeah just same old while we coming out and see what happens on what i'm really glad things as well for you phenomenon lazy again when she's one of yours. It's been decided <music> <music> a has them mm sky potato.

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Theres Something Wrong with my Fianc

Horror Fictional and True Stories

1:45:00 hr | 4 months ago

Theres Something Wrong with my Fianc

"Raised ten Friday march sixteenth. Two thousand eighteen. Something really weird is going. And i don't know what to do. I've created this ready account to document my story. I doubt anyone can really. How but god forbid something happens to me. I at least want to record of what went down. There's no gentle way to open this up. So let's just dive on in. My name is nikki. I'm twenty three and engaged to a wonderful man. a ma. We live together in a small apartment on the top floor out house in a small town in mid illinois overall. We have a happy relationship however lately stress of work and wedding. Planning if begun to get the veterans and we've been bickering nothing relationship ending but bickering on the list. Last friday night we go into a pretty heated argument regarding the budget for the wedding and money in general. Still a little heated. He had to leave for his overnight. Security shift the hospital. Me a case and suggested i take a bath before bed and told me we would look at the budget together tomorrow night. As he was off of work for weekend saturday. I had to work a double shift at a local bar. Picked up this job to help pay for the wedding. It's just a few nights a week but every penny house mark hadn't yet returned home when i left for work at eleven. Am which was unlike him. But i figured he was just taking some time to cool down and we'll be back shortly. I left him a note on the county. Saying that i loved him and that i would be back later tonight. Work was fairly uneventful. Until i went out for a smoke break around five pm at several. Miscall from mark one voicemail. That was just a bunch of gobbled. Noises tried calling him back. But it went straight to voicemail a moment later i received a text from him it read. Something has come up. I'll explain later. I love you. Returned home at around. Ten pm. marks wasn't that inside. The house was slightly. torn up it was apparent that someone had been there and have been looking for something but it didn't look like we'd been robbed in the kitchen. I love you too. Scribbled on the bottom of my note in mark's handwriting in the bedroom gym bags and clothes were gone obviously had gone some after the night. Try not to be too upset. So i just had a glass of wine picked messy left and went to bed. Mark didn't return all day sunday. Every time i tried to call. It went straight to voicemail. I received a text finally around nine pm saying that a shift to become available at the hospital and that he was taking it sunday shifts. Come with a nice paper and he knew we needed the money again. He told me he loved me then he would see me tomorrow monday. I take day off from my regular job dog boarding facility in town. Malkani was supposed to go for cake tasting in the afternoon. Before i had to bartend at night so i took the morning to sleep in around nine thirty. Am jolted awake with the bed shifted under the weight of a human body. Mark was quietly climbing into bed next to me. My croat groggily wherever you being. He skipped an arm around me and kiss me on the forehead bring home. The bacon was on response. Started the coffee brewing more. Would you like for breakfast after he left the room. It's not cooking. I woke up enough to process the situation. Mark doesn't cook i ever. It's not that he can't cook. It just tends to burn everything. He doesn't oversell. he must feel really bad about being gone on weekends. Or he fucked up bad. I wasn't sure. I wanted to know which hit walks. The rest of the day went smoothly. The rest of the week catchily went smoothly on eventually. We went cake tasting. We met with the florist mark painted the bathroom. Everything was pleasant. Nice really nice. Actually until yesterday thursday afternoon. I was at the boarding facility filling water boss. The docs getting ready to start wrapping up my shit. I had to go straight to the bar. After i was done here wasn't going have time to stop home. There's a knock on the door and in walk mark immediately. The dogs all went crazy knocking. How growling horn cages. All of them strange mark is great with dogs. Dogs usually love him. We retreated to the lobby to talking. Quiet i just wanted to bring you a snack since you are going to get home for dinner tonight. He said with a grin his sleeve wrote up as he handed me the bag. He'd brought an anarchist pretty nasty spot on his like a burner scapula. Something hey what did you do to your arm. I asked concern. He jumped his arm back in quickly pulled down his sleeve muttering some half ass. Excuse about burning it on the stove before excusing himself and heading back out the front door. He didn't kiss me goodbye. Lights that night. I went out for smoke break at the ball. I tried calling mark. But he went straight to voicemail. Takes me saying that. He was on the phone with his mother and couldn't talk now and then my phone rang an unknown. Here's the conversation that follow. Hello can i speak with nikki. This is she ma'am. My name is detective smith. I'm calling in regards to fiance mark. Is there with you now know. He's not why what's ma'am. When was the last time you saw earlier today. He brought me food at what. Why are you sure. of course i'm sure. What is this about all right. Ma'am thank you. We'll be in touch if we need anything further. And then he hung up. The call bothered me through the rest of my shift. Something just didn't seem right. I mean another police have to be careful what they say in regards to open investigations one investigation could be doing involving my voucher. Call detective back and get some answers. But by the time. I got out of work nearly two. Am and i was tired. Just went home and crawled in bed next to mock deciding it would be easier to deal with in the morning with a clear head the owner of the kennel given me the day off work anyway and that brings me to today. When i finally realized that something isn't right. I woke up this morning around ten. Am mock was. He left a note from me saying he was going to the gym. We'll be back later to that man ever sleep. I took the opportunity to call. Detective smith mac. The phone just rang and rang. I gave up and called the local police department directly. Inform me quite confused. They didn't have a detective smith on the phone. Then mocks mom called me. She asked me how i was. How work was how the wedding planning was and how she she hadn't had from all week and that she was getting rights market told me he was on the phone with his mom. When i called last night. I told her i'd tell him to call and then retreated to my battery. I packed a small overnight. Bag with jesse. Essential changes of clothes laptop charges toiletries and so on and deposited in the kitchen. Then in a moment of what. I can only describe as blind action. I returned to my bedroom impact his second suitcase with some extra clothes. My important documents anything. I thought might be important. I stashed that bag in the trunk of my car out of sight. Then i sat in the kitchen and waited mark. Pretend around noon with a smile. He asked if i had any plans today. This was the moment of truth. Remember babe i'm gone with kenny. This weekend check out the resort my bachelorette party Of course mark replied. How could i forget. He'll be back sunday. Yeah probably lights. I replied with a smile gave him a kiss and headed out the door. I'd lied and it adjusts proven my fears. Something's wrong with my fiance. I have no plans with my sister. My bachelorette party has been planned for months. My mark knows that caught my sister kelly in the car and told his a meet me at the hotel a few towns over. I told her that something was wrong. That i would explain everything impasse. She booked the room using husbands cod. So that no one could find us. We've gone over the whole story of the last week inside. She agrees something doesn't sound right. This doesn't sound light mom well. I'm sitting here typing this out to you kind folks while she runs to pick up some food and supplies tamara. We're gonna call the police station to follow up on this. Detective smith call. I received and see if they can help me at all from there. Well i guess we'll see wish me. Saturday march seventeenth two thousand eighteen. Well i'm still alive kelly. I no longer the hotel. We decided moving. Locations might be best just in case especially after the events of today. We're staying at a cabin in another nearby town for tonight. I left my car at her house again. Just in case mark doesn't know what kind of coffee drives seeing as she's just bought a new. This morning called me to see how things were going. He said he was going in from meeting with his boston a few hours and then he might be going off to chicago for training next week if he gets the promotion. He's being considered for. I wished him and told him that. I loved him then. We took off for the police station. The time we got into town mark would've been in is meeting the station. Things gots at first gave me the same runaround cold yesterday. They told me again. They had no detective smith on the phone. They told me they couldn't release any information. About open investigations. Even if they were investigating told me that they could however assure me that mark was not under any investigation of this time. When i showed them the phone number that had called me things took a time. They started taking me a little more seriously. They did a system them. Search on the number to ease my mind and then kellyanne. I were quickly Into an office where. We were introduced to detective joe. Detective jones informed us that the number at called me belong to a detective. Ian smith from a county about two hours north of he'd been passing through town his way to visit family in kentucky lasting and that while he had never arrived at his destination contact with his wife had been that he was stopping here for the night that he would call her in the morning hotel staff reports seeing him leaving his hotel early friday morning. Apparently for joan never returned. Detective jones is investigating the disappearance. He asked me a lot of questions about the conversation. I had detect expanded. Whoever caught me off of his phone. He also knew ian smith or if i'd ever been to his hometown he asked me if martin or anyone by that name where mock was originally from well things of that sort. Of course i told him no. I have no idea who this man is. All how we got my phone number for that matter. He gave me his card and told me to call him. If anything else happened. Mock call me to say that he got the promotion and that he would be leaving monday morning for a week of training chicago. I congratulated him and told him. I tried to come back earlier. So i could see him before he left. He said to enjoy my time with my sister and then hung up to begin packing prepping for his trip kellyanne and settled in with a large glass of wine to try and process through what was happening and decide what to do next and then the phone rang. It was detective smith. The conversation went like this. Hello can i speak with nikki. We did you get this number lamb. My name is detectives. man. I'm calling in regards to your fiance. Mom is he there with you now. What is this costume ma'am. When was the last time you saw. I would like to know what this is in regards do. So i can contact a lawyer before i speak with the police. Shaw if this is a prank really isn't funny tell mock chicago is a beautiful city that night man and then he hung up his not lost tomato. This was almost the exact conversation the him as the other night. So same questions in the same order no matter what response again the last thing he said lo chill me to the call. A new about marks trip to chicago does that mean. He's watching him watching me stalking. Does he have our phones. And how the hell e using detective. Smith's phone my family had been written all over my face because kelly was already dialing detective jones by the time smith hung up on me. He said that he would be here soon. To discuss the situation in detail with i voice my favorite phone tapping and they said just times that he would call a body over the department in this town to send off rover in the meantime. It was a small confident. But norma detective jones left shortly before i sat down tight this. We'll have an undercover officer station nearby all night just in case this asshole really detective jones set to keep in contact with him no details too small. We'll get to the bottom of this together. The usual cop speech. You always see movies on the tv. Apparently i am now involved in a missing person's case and i dragged my sister into it as well as afraid as i am right now. I know that there's probably means i'm assessment. I have no idea where to go from here. Why investigation options running out provided nothing else happens tonight. I'll be going home tomorrow afternoon. I hope detective jones gets to the bottom of this soon. At least not. We'll be out of town for week. love my fiance. But i don't trust him right now. Something just isn't right now. I've wasted two days chasing down the phone number of a missing man who don know calling me about my fiance. What is mark have to do with any of this. What do i have to do with any of this. Nothing makes sense. I just want my life also wants to apologize for the lack of detail regarding town. Names and exact locations. While i'm posting to make sure everything is documented. I don't want anyone being able to track. Marco me after everything. That's come to light so far. I feel it's best to keep it that way. I don't want to interfere with detective jones investigation. Either please just bear with me here. My life is very quickly. Become far more complicated frightening than i ever dreamed it could be. I just hope tomorrow brings better sunday. March eighteenth two thousand eighteen. Well read it today. Did not in fact bring answer. It brought the exact opposite a whole lot. More questions kellyanne. I had a fairly restless night last night. We were informed. That would be office a station nearby to watch but we never actually met him. We never actually saw him. I want to trust that. He was there that he would keep a safe. He's very difficult to epa. Feel safe when you know someone who's out there keeping tabs on you and your loved ones this morning reverted back to base level girl sleuthing. The intimate we did a search for detective. Ian smith he and smith disappearance detective ian smith missing illinois came up with a big fats. Nothing there was one article from his hometown. Proclaiming him missing praising his police work and asking anyone with information to come forward and contact the please. That wasn't even a photograph. No social media accounts that we could find like this man. He's a ghost. Got home at five o'clock this afternoon. Mark was very happy both to see me before he left and for the opportunity is pursuing a prominent being cleaned grocery shopping for the week of being done carry out was on the way it was nice took a quick shower before the food when i got out. Markets set the living room coffee table with candles and wine had my favorite show queued up to watch. It was like he was himself again. Myemma by the end of the male. I started to think. Maybe i was overreacting to this. Whole situation might be mark. Wasn't being that weird after all. We're both really stress right now. Stress can do with things to person. I began thinking that maybe it was time. I filled him in on what had been happening about the phone calls and the missing man who owns the phone number. I decided i would tell him as soon as he got out of the bathroom as he'd gone to shower himself went into the bedroom to get ready for bed. Got the bright idea to sneak a pair of my panties into marks luggage as a little surprise and make him smile when he got to the hotel. I know who does that. Well hi folks. i'm that weird girlfriend. But regardless i wound up not doing it after because when i opened the little inside pouch and his suitcase to hide them i found something a dagger it was about as long as my fora then shop with a rainy on eight handle. Never seen anything like it before in my life. That was something engraved on the blade but it was in another language. I didn't recognize it was beautiful but terrifying for one. That's the fact that i've been with this man for five years. I've never seen anything like this in his possession before it looked like something out of a movie and i wanted briefly if it was in fact a movie prop but why would he be taking it with him to chicago. More to the point the second thing the thing that really terrified me was the feeling gave me a soon as i touched it felt this horrible sense of foreboding. It was like this darkness. Like something watching me right of my shoulder. I quickly put it back. Where i found it and went back out to the living room to wait. I decided not to fill market after a little while later while we were back to watching tv. I missed a call from detective jones. I excuse myself to go outside and smoke. While i was outside i called him. He told me that. Detective smith cell phone wallet and cookies have been recovered earlier this morning along the riverbank running through town. He said the cell phone was so water-damaged. There wasn't a prayer of getting that bad boy to tom back on anytime soon. I thanked him for the update and headed back inside at least tonight like can sleep knowing. I won't be getting anymore. Stalker course from the mysterious detective smith all whoever had his phone. So why am i not sleeping. You ask is sound asleep fully packed and ready to drive north in the morning. I tried to go to bed with him. But i just couldn't can't seem to shake this feeling. The feeling of being watched like someone is right over my shoulder and that dagga. What could he possibly need with something like that now. Something weird is definitely going on. And now i'll have the whole week alone to try and figure it out. I just wish. I knew where to go from him. Good night read it. Sweet dreams choose day march twentieth. Two thousand eighteen. I apologize for the delay. And i'm dating but i assure you i'm not dead. Not yet at least a lot has happened in the past few days. I can't tell if we're getting to answers father away but i know we are heading somewhere. Mock left brighton. Early yesterday morning. The promise of calling me as soon as he got to my all accounts. I had a pretty uneventful day for the most part i went to work at the kennel went home for a shower. I went to the bath my night shift and then things got a little. We had the only in my shift. Creepy looking men strolled into the ball. I'm always on high alert with customers. Especially after some of the horror stories. I've read about crazy customers. Attacking said is in a fit of rage. We were pretty busy with dinner. Rush though so i lost track of him after. The host asked escorted him into the main dining room. This was probably around five thirty or so around nine. I see the same man. Come back into the bomb. This time sitting up at one of the thai top bar tables way back in the corner all alone at this point again. Lose track of him. As i'm working on liquor restocking which required me to go down to the basement liquor storage multiple times when i'd finally finished with all that glanced back at his table to see that he's gone but an empty glass. Some money sits on the table. So at least i now. I didn't imagine him being there. Finally around eleven. I go outside to smoke. When i wave the managed to be ready to count my drawer and sent me home. I see a lightest walk out of the corner of my and turn to find the same creepy man. He's lighting a cigar leaning against a very nice yet caa part in the part of the lights. Don't like fifty of some sort. I finished my cigarette quickly. Hurried back inside. Made one of the busboys won't me out to my colleague left just to be safe but the minor gone realized when i got home around midnight i still hadn't heard from try calling in. And they went straight to voicemail after making sure the volume was on the way out in casey cold. I went to bed. He was very restless nights. Every time i started to doze off. I will be awoken by strange noises all around the apartment tapping at the windows. Like pebbles being tossed. What like footsteps but above me which would mean someone on the roof in the middle of the night an eerie gentle knocking the frontal of course. No one was that. When i look through the people around the apartments but never in the apartment. Today i was off work in the morning. So i slept in as much as i could when i finally drag myself out of bed around noon still hadn't heard from i tried calling again but again went straight to voice me. I went down to check the mail not the same car from last night. Part little down the ball. I wasn't sure as i walked the mailboxes spots offer. Good long look at the car. The driver's door opened in the man from the bar gracefully. Step down to this creep. Really follow me home last night. Had he been the one making all the noise around my apartment all night. Was this mysterious. detective smith. I rushed back inside and locked the door. I called detective. John's hysterical and choked out the story about this man between shaking songs. He told me he would be over as soon as possible. Lock all the doors and windows. In the meantime stay away from the windows. So i couldn't seen and that he would call me when he arrived so i knew it was safe when he got there. He informed me. There was an officer searching the area for the car i describe. He asked me a lot about the man described him as best. I could but truth be told. I haven't got a good look at him. All i knew was that he was driving black cadillac. Deville coupet harm no car expert markets and. I got a much better. Look the car in the daylights. And that's a classic also one of my favorites. His dream car. The officer returned to report that no such car be found in the immediately surrounding area but they will be keeping an eye out for it jones. Thank the officer. Sent him on his way but jones him sell did not leave. He asked me very sincerely. If we could talk for a few minutes off the police record. I said of course. He told me that beyond the phone one at being found there have been no new leads. Stand up on smith's disappearance. He said that it appears simply being thrown off the side of the road into the water and carried downstream. He's not as optimistic as some about. Finding a body washed up somewhere further downstream. Then he asked me the weirdest question. What do you think is going on nikki. I told him the truth. I had absolutely no idea. I've never heard of an ian smith a week ago. Now suddenly i'm involved in his disappearance or at least i wasn't. His cell. phone was recruitment. I told him that it was all very confusing and overwhelming. Then he asked me and even harder question. What do you think this has to do with. Mark is must be the same. I don't know i've been using for every question. This man asks me. But then i thought a little bit harder. I told him that. If i had to hazard a guess i'd have to say that mark and ian smith probably knew each other or at least had known each other at one point. I told him that if they had known each other market never mentioned it but if market never mentioned him they must not have been friends so at least not close still. Didn't explain why he was calling me. Detective jones filed a strange sad-looking smile and told me to be careful to call him. If anything else happened marks mom called me while i was getting ready for work. Surprisingly she didn't ask about mach which was nice. Because i don't know what. I would have told her. She does. when i'd lost heard from him wouldn't have wanted to tell the truth and why couldn't lie to this woman who was welcomed into family like one of our own children. No she just asked how. I was feeling how work was going. Thanks smalto then right. Before she hung up she said something that threw me off. She said you know it's funny. That mark went to chicago for training. That's where he's originally from a new that market been adopted as a young child. But i'd never pride for still didn't understand why this was funny. A why she sounded kind of sad about it. So i asked really. That's interesting. he never mentioned that. Why is that funny though. She signed and pause for a moment before saying sometimes situations like this leave some lasting memories. He wasn't a baby when we got him. I don't know how much actually remembers but shegog was not good fan. She quickly changed the subject after that we hung up shortly thereafter so straight had more to tell you but i'm running late for work as it is. I'll let you all know if anything else happens. I just want one calm night to try and get my head on straight wednesday march twenty first two thousand eight well so much were come nights. I guess i'll pick up right. Where i left off yesterday was have i've ever worked in a bar or restaurant. You'll know how it is when things go from absolutely dead to swamped in a matter of minutes. Tensions run high. Everyone is sprinting around trying to do ten things at once so when my manager anna strode up to the bar around nine pm neither she nor detective jones has signed will welcome sites on told me that she will be clocking me out manually that she will be finishing up all the tabs. I had open for right now and that she would wrap my tips off of me to pick up tomorrow about the right now. I had to leave. I asked why faring just being it'll was that i was under arrest but detective jones told me he would explain everything in the car. That was something that i needed to see next two hours or a blood to me. Detective jones explained in private. Some teenager been messing around in the woods. Earlier in the evening they had stumbled upon the dead body. The body was burned almost beyond recognition facial features were not discernible by the body was intact. I asked what they sat to do with me and he got really quiet after a moment. He said that upon police investigation bay found several personal items in the pockets of the victim's clothing among them were a credit card in mark's name. Wallet sized copy of our engagement photo detective. John told me they think the body might be altima by made. It started crying. He asked the last time i'd heard from was. I told him the truth. That i hadn't been able to reach him since he'd left for chicago on monday morning as we pulled up to the station. He told me that unfortunately he needed me to attempt to. Id the body. The mall was not nearly as more beta imagined it will be. It felt rather like a doctor's office except for the cool draws lining the wall when they pulled back the sheet. I damn near vomited. The site was horrible. I come back to describe it. All i will say is that i truly hope none of you have to see something like that. Hit will haunt me forever. However detective jones was right. The body was fairly intact. Honestly though were minimal bonds below the chest which is really disturbing to think about but it helps told them with absolute certainty that no this man was not in fact my fiance. They asked me how could show with all the facial damage but matt was easy. I told them that mark had a full sleeve tattoo on his left arm which spread up onto his chest which would have still been visible below the bone forearms what even touched by the bud however they also had no tattoos. This was not mar after that. Detective jones taught me back to his office. Asked me a lot of questions about long. His birth name. His hometown is family life. Any siblings work so on. I gave him as much information as possible when we were done. Detective jones took me back to my car. He told me that he would tell me home. And that he was gonna station an officer outside my apartment to watch for any weird activity. He seemed rather concerned. That this john doe had minor mocks photo win honestly the implications of that photo. The credit card did not really sunk in until that point. No i didn't get much sleep a coat off of work today. I'm just way too overwhelmed to try and be pleasant to strangers right now but of course nothing can be normal. Day can be relaxing. I don't know what to think anymore. I woke up early my boss in the kennel. I explain the situation and she told me. Please just rest as a call tomorrow morning if i needed another day. I texted ana my manager from the ball and told her. I wouldn't be coming to pick my tips i day. Just if everything was okay and i told her that well honestly i didn't know she being a friend of mine since before i started the bar said she would bring my tips on some lunch over for me when i. She finished up with her paperwork in the office. She said we could talk about it if i wanted. My factor went back to bed woke up around noon charlotte and was in the kitchen making some tea. When i heard a knock on the door i assumed it was at but when i answered i found the last person i ever expected to see the creepy man from the by the man who had been outside yesterday morning how he managed to get pasta officer outside is beyond me but he smiled and said it afternoon. I believe we have some things to talk about. May i come in. I immediately said no to which he smiled and replied very well. Smart woman has out here on your patio would be better. That sounded reasonably now. My joined him outside. I don't know why i did it. I know i should have slammed the door in his face and called the cops. But i didn't. We sat at the small table mark. And i have on the patio outside outdoor. He lit a cigar. This man was not nearly as disturbing daylight. He seemed rather normal while not being normal. Place him in his early thirties. Tall reasonably well bill. Well groomed despite slightly. She black hair with the brightest blue eyes i've ever seen. He wore nice suit but looked as comfortable in. Its most men will be in sweatpants. He had an air of confidence and wisdom by all accounts and attractive well mannered well educated man yet. He still made the hair on the back of my neck. Stand up. once. I was seated. He waited for me to say some. When i didn't he dove right in your fiancee. He's not dead nikki. He said i never thought he wants. I responded what an odd thing for him to say what you have to admit. How'd you wanted when detective jones showed you the body. Part of you was afraid you. How did he know that before i could ask. He continued. mark is alive and well and in chicago. Why are in on. I should know. I sent him and myself now. You his boss. I asked confused. The man laughed. No not exactly. Although i have worked with him in the post he see. I met mark a few weeks ago. Friday the ninth. If i remember right you had been fighting. I remember the night motley. Free shift and didn't come back until monday morning. He was worried he says youtube was strapped for cash with a big nop. She'll just around the corner. I offered to him so he was working with you on that weekend. Is that why he didn't come. I simply helped him out a few extra bucks. He did what he had to do. I know nothing else of where he went on what he did. The man replied dropping his slice month for the first time since his arrival. That is none of my consent. I'm simply here to give you a friendly piece of advice. That i asked the grin came back. Decide what you want on. Stop asking questions. Remember what curiosity did to that poor cat after all he said business card on the table and rose. Call me if you need anything. I'm sure we could reach a mutually beneficial agreement. The cod was thick and heavy matt. Black with glossy script delicately placed on his service semi annual soula. Eight six six six three three nine. When i looked back up he was gone. I know i should have just thrown the card away given it to detector jones. But i didn't i slipped it into my wallet. Maybe this mysterious somehow has some answers. After all i started cleaning the apartment after that maybe mark left behind some clue in his haste to pack. Everything up maybe. I can find some record of him knowing. Ian smith anything to stop making things make sense some other whit artifact the dagger i love letter from another woman but i came up empty. I gave up after a while and just took a nap. Laid in bed and watch tv all around just soaked and felt sorry for myself. Anna eventually did come over and wound up staying most of the evening. Kelly joined us for a late lunch. I didn't feel anna in on everything. No need to drag her into this madness. I just told her that. I hadn't heard from since he left on monday and that the police want to talk to me about an ongoing problem. I had some about when she left. I felt my sister on the body. I didn't mention the visit from semi. Eventually kelly also left ni- cook too late dinner then. I returned to setting the appointment for any possible clue as to what the hell was going on. I think it made a big mess than was here this morning. But i don't care anymore i want. I want to know what is going on. And how involves me and mark. I want to know then. The phone rang. My heart nearly stopped. When i still number. Hello can i speak with nikki. This is impossible. Ma'am my name is detective smith. I'm calling in regards to fiance mark. Is he there with you now. Know detective smith phone was found in the river on sunday. Who stays ma'am. When was the last time you saw him on. This isn't real show. By the time. I hung up. I was in tears. Still can't believe this is all happening. As no way in hell. That number should be able to call me has no way detective smith. Whoever is is looking for me that hard and even if he was. There's no way you could call me three separate times and have the exact same response is no matter what i say except this time this time. The you show sounded an awful lot like a challenge. Detective jones is on his way. Not really want to be here. To- right now. But i most definitely don't want to be anywhere alone. I hope he arrived with onces or at least advice on what i should do. But what can i do. I think a hearing in putting up outside now until next time. Oh ps. i still haven't heard from mom. Friday march twenty third two thousand eighteen to everyone who still following my story. Thank you. i don't know where i will be with the support. I've not been replying to most. Come in and i'm sorry about that. But i am reading them all and i'm taking the things you're saying into consideration however i'm not going to light mark on fire. I'm not gonna kill him or anyone else. Thank you for your participation. Also no i do not in fact a death wish nor am i stupid. China live my life as normally as possible so as not to alert mouth or anyone else involved. I feel something else. That being said buckle up the last two days of being a doozy life is never going to be the same of that. I'm sure to pick up where i left off. Wednesday continued fairly uneventfully. Detective jones came over and talked to me about the most recent focal. Like we see from ian smith's phone number. I could tell from the look in his eyes that he's getting sick of this case. Nothing make sense a no one even really knows where to go from him just manage just gone but his phone isn't is found was found destroyed which means someone is using his number from a different phone back to square one when he left. I let him better wake for a long time. I just want my life back. Yesterday i went to work in. The kennel seemed a little surprised to see me. She gave me a pretty light day training new girl that we're hiring to help out of the summer let me tell you. It isn't very hard to show someone how to feel walter bowls and organiz food. When every dog literally comes with their own supplies months. I still appreciate it. Easy day and it will be nice having an extra set of hands around to help closed within the baa. Nowhere phone calls. No creepy customers know detective showing up mid shift with shattering news. It almost felt like a normal day almost except for the cadillac. Deville coupet part in the back of the lot. When we left at the end of the night. I got home around one. Am to find detective jones waiting by my door. He looked incredibly grim and serious. I often if everything was okay. Thank you asked to come inside and speak to me. I jokingly asked if i was under arrest and he said no but there was important things that needed to be discussed inside he proceeded asked me all about my whereabouts and activities between thursday march eighth and sunday march levin. The weekend mock didn't come home. I told him that. I at work my day shift at the kennel followed by a night. Shift the ball friday. I worked amid shift. The bow got off around seven. Came home and wound up fighting with mark until he left for his shift to the hospital. Saturday i want my double came home to find mark gone in the house array sunday. I had the day off right. Went grocery shopping. Let me refer you back to the first episode of this saga. He asked if i had any proof of any of this. So i got out my little accordion organizer from my pass. I keep all my pay stubs punch in and punch outs. that's from. What receipts from stores and gas stations. I'm ready organized with that type of thing. I like to see where my money is going. So i can track. Any unnecessary spending seemed to be good enough for detective jones. But he did ask to take the make a copy just for the investigation recco next. He asked me a harder question where it mark being that weekend. I told him but he'd worked estee friday and sunday not that he had not come home while i'd been that between friday and monday. That never really taught me much about what had been going on. He asked when. I'd lost her mark if i thought he'd be willing to speak with. Police taught him that i'd not heard from him since monday. Morning when he left but if he wanted his cell phone number after little You told me no but to call him. As soon as i heard from and again as soon as he got home he rose to leave before he got to the door. Curiosity got the better of me. I asked him why the sudden change. Why do i suddenly need. An alibi of had a hunch was a suspect. Never really treated me like one until now what the hell is going on inside. Look me in the poll. Never forget the words. He said next off the record. We didn't autopsy on the burn victim found in the woods. He's been identified as detective. Ian smith we are investigating. But between you me be careful. This looks like a very personal crime to me. And he did have your picture his wines. Call me if anything. And i mean anything happened. I didn't sleep much last night despite the undercover off site so apart out front when i out to have a midnight cigarette today today i did the last thing. Any of you probably want me to do today. I pulled out that black business card. My and i called semi you. I'm desperate. i'm lost confused. I'm at smy wit's end if he knows anything about where mark was that weekend. Well it would be a start. At least we met at a coffee shop in the next town over. Just to be safe when i arrived. He looked every bit the calm cool and collected manny was the last time we spoke suit and all. He smile nas what he could do for me today. Out of me wanted to cry. Wanted to have a meltdown in south out. Every last detail of the nightmare. I've been living the past two weeks. But i didn't instead. I looked at him. And very calmly stated that i needed to know everything he knew about web market. Being the weekend of the ninth he loved. I'm sorry mighty. I'm afraid i can't tell you. You see my associates and those we work with such monk tend to prefer a certain level of previously. If i could tell you i would but you see. I'm on the contract. What can you tell me then. I asked trying to keep the tremble out of my voice. Some l. thought for a second before responding non protest say nece- notice he answered with a grin. Least i think that's what he said. I have no idea what language it is or what it means. But i'll be damned if his voice didn't cut directly to my and chill meet. The bone was like his words. Were engraved in my mind. I can still hear. The way spoke them as i sit here and type this. I asked him what it meant the universe. Dan lighted shani. Sometimes you have to make your own. Nothing is coincidental not in this. I don't understand leaned forward and spoke in a hush turn with a gleam in his eye remote. I told you last time we spoke. Decide what you want and stop asking questions. So what do you want. i want my life back. I ansett confused. I want to marry the man that loves me and cast from me and doesn't vanish without a trace. I want this all to stop is that he asked still grinning. I nodded tearing up for the first time unable to stay strong any longer. He rose and stretched a hand. Help me stand to very well as always it is being pledge he kissed my hand before releasing it. You know how to reach me if you need anything and with that. He left the shop leaving me. Standing there confused regardless i returned home and got ready for work drag myself to the bar around four pm and pour drinks like nothing was going on truthfully. I began to relax a little bit. The repetition that comes with my job and constant customer interaction helped me to loosen up a bit even so the feeling of unease that has been following me around for two weeks now. Still not the back of my mind. I finally got a smoke break around eight thirty pm and soon as i stepped outside my phone it was smith i thought about not answering but then i got an idea. This man has been dead since before. I started getting these calls. So let's see what this person has to say. Hello can i. Please speak with nikki. This is she ma'am. My name is detective smith. I'm calling in regards your fiance mark. Is he there with you now. Know he's in chicago for work. I've also not seen or heard from him since he left. I do however know that. Detective smith is dead. Ma'am you are not wrong. So i mean ask you a question all right go ahead what do you want you keep calling me. What do you want if you had one statement to make to convey whatever it is you want me to know. What would it be. Mark isn't himself. He is a very dangerous man. I would recommend you be very careful now. I wouldn't wanna see you end up hurt. Or was i'll keep that in mind. Thank you very much for your call. All right ma'am thank you. We'll be in touch if we need anything further. I finished my shift normally nama funchal. No more surprise appearances. No more anything. I asked anna to cut me entity told. I wasn't feeling well when i got home. My phone pinged with a message from mark. It simpler at be home sunday around new after not hearing from all week. This is only has to say no explanations. Now nothing okay. I didn't reply instead. I called jones. I told him that. I had gotten a text from mark. Told him when he will be home. He told me to make sure it was not in the house and they win mont got home. Oh don't worry. I won't be tomorrow after my shift at the baa. I'm taking i'm running. I won't be here when markets home. And he won't know where. I am at least for now until i figure out how to tell what's real walls not. This is how it has to be as a waste read it. I'll keep you posted if anything happens but right now. I have some maxed pack so until next time whenever that may be wednesday march twenty two thousand eighteen. Wow what hello my. This is a strange turn of events. Expose some introductions on my name. Is mom taking me a long time to get hit but we house a little surprised to find my darling fiancee's little blog but but damn i have enjoyed browsing through it as well as all your comments but that being said i think it's time you will hear the full story from me. It all started. Friday mosh nyse just like nikki told you all. She came home and we started looking at the budget for the wedding. We began arguing about how much we were willing to spend on. Certain things i left work promising. We would talk about it tomorrow. Now that night at work we had a lot of new patients admitted to both the er and the psych ward around three. Am this man. Came strong in asking to release a psych patient into his custody. He said the patient's name was ian smith. I asked him for some identification and he presented me with an id barrington name sam hale soula baid. Proper paperwork was completed. And smith was released into sa- males. I was not the one to send them on their merry way. So i had not yet met ian smith when i got off work around seven. Am some ails. Sullied was waiting in the parking lot for me. He was leaning against his cadillac. Deville coupet my favorite car impressed. I shot the shit with him for a few minutes about the car before he asked. If i wanted a ri- of course. I said yes while we were driving around. He may apply small talk. We got on the topic of nikki in the wedding money and whatnot. I confess that we were a little strapped for cash. And we'd both been working nonstop to try and fund the big day. No one really wants you. How expensive weddings. No one was helping us pay for any of it. Not that we wanted how we would just not prepared for how pricey things like flowers in a bar actually can be regardless he piped up and told me he could help. If i was interested well he had my attention. He explained to me that he and his associates work in a shadow of secrecy but that they would that assist those in need as long as a mutually beneficial agreement could be reached. They accepted no monetary payment for their services but everything has a prize. you see some ale. Soula is one of many human forms that the devil himself takes. I'm self was not a man. Who believes in god all the devil but i gave his proposal a listen. He explained to me that vera ways to increase your luck well anything really but sometimes in some cases luck and wealth with share and if the secondary potty were to be eliminated all the luck all the well would fall to the one remaining. I didn't fully understand. But i must say i was intrigued. Not just for the money for curiosity's sake as well asked him what i had to do. He pulled back into the parking lot right next to. My car gave me an address to meet him at sundown. We shook hands and parted ways when he pulled away. I realized that it was nearly four o'clock. We'd been gone the whole day but it felt like a matter of minutes at home. I quickly packed an overnight bag on show. How long are we going. I must have accidentally pocket down nikki when she to call me back. Well i had no idea what to tell so. I simply texted that. Something had come up. That i would explain later shooting that i will have an actual explanation later on before i left to meet sam. I saw nikki's note on the counter and wrote that. I loved her too when i met with sam. He ushered me into his car once again and began driving in silence against say that i was scared. Law concerned really quite frankly. I didn't much care what we were gonna do. I was committed now. If what he said was true for the first time in my adult independent life. I wouldn't be scraping by pinching pennies worrying about the next paycheck. To be honest. I would have done anything in that moment. He bought the car along the side of the road and told me we would have to walk the rest of the way when we arrived at a small clearing in the woods we met by two other men one dress much like sam in a nice suit with disconcertingly sly ran and one unconscious on the ground. Though a five small fi set up and on the ground connecting the circle in the points was what looked like sand or salt awesome. I realized it was a giant pentagram. For the first time. I started to believe this man may actually be the devil him so he explained to me that the unconscious man held half my luck and half my wealth and that if i wanted it back he would have to be eliminated. I said i understood. And he handed me an ornate dagger with writing the blade puck you score sick nautilus s de him. As soon as i took the dagga washed over me they incredible feeling of strength and power. I walked the men on the ground was taken aback. When i realized he looked almost exactly like me. I looked at some ale for an explanation. He smiled and said non protest s a knee sequels. There can be only one. And i knew he was right. I murdered my d'appel gang in that night. Ian smith the twin. I never knew i had. I murdered him and stole. Every last bit of luck and wealth we'd been sharing all these years when the deed was done. Sommeil handed me a can of gasoline and a book of matches. Told me we raise him. I burned his body. I raised him. We were no longer identical. We no longer have to share non protest s initiate. One was blacked out. When i woke up the next day house in some motel room somewhere at a nasty bone in my arm from where fire snuck up on me the night before. I felt incredible. Better than i've ever felt before i got up and went for a run whenever tan. Some mail was waiting for me. He explained to me that no one was ever to know what happened the woods. I was to forget that man ever exist. I didn't even know his name in that point. Got a call shortly thereafter asking. If i wanted to pick up a shift to the hospital sunday pay plus they offer to throw in a few extra bucks an hour for asking me so last minute. My luck was turning around already now. Has my darling fiance as explained to you kind folks. I returned home every bit. The loving and attentive man. Everything was going. Great truth be told after reading nikki's little diary it all makes sense. I had no idea that she was getting these phone calls. But that definitely explains why it all went to shit one day clarify truthfully was in chicago training for work. Like i said my luck is ten around. The pay increase will be incredible. I was adopted out of chicago as a young child. But i have no memories of my time. As opposed he in smith also would have been adopted average chicago but i don't recall having a twin much. Childhood is still a mystery. I suppose but i've begun to wonder how much of that is repression. And how much of. It is the new and improved ma. I should also explain for any of you out there thinking. This sounds easy enough. Make deal with the devil and get my perfect life. Make no mistake magic even black magic even black magic from the sauce himself. It's like physics. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. You can receive without giving something back like some said a mutually beneficial arrangement a deer. A contract has for me. I paid with my soul. I am no longer the say mark. I used to be a much much better. So i suppose at this point. You're all probably wondering. When nicky is why are we not. She's being taken care of our time from chicago to find him missing as well as her suitcases and a lot of her belongings and took a few days. But i tracked down. Bank statements don't lie wasn't hard to figure out where she was staying. She was holed up in a motel halfway from hit indiana. When i arrived at her room she freaked out screaming and throwing things at me backing himself into a corner. She was like a caged animal anew. She knew something was going on someone in the room. Next door called the police when they arrived. I talked them into transporting home for mental evaluation. I told them as the concern husband to be. And i thought the stress just got to that she had a mental breakdown mass where she is now being mentally evaluated to see if she's a danger to herself or others. No one will believe her story even if she tells them anything. She's just hysterical overworked bride to be that needs a break. Well that's what. I'm counting on should at least by me a few days to figure out what to do about. Maybe i should call off the wedding pickup and start over. Maybe i should run with his calm convinced that she really did just have a mental breakdown. Who maybe she needs to be eliminated. Maybe she's already caused enough trouble. Decisions decision now to clarify hack into her account when she was taken for psych evaluation. I brought her tricks and things home. I know my fiance's laptop password. This account was already locked in with. Read it bookmarked as jones. He came by the house. I told him i've been working on. We can with. Smith disappeared and that i had avoided nikki because we'd been finding he can't prove i was anywhere else and until he does. I don't anticipate seeing him again if he wants to do anything. He's gonna need a warrant and he doesn't have enough reason for a judge to approve. This story is most certainly not over. Let you all know what i decided to do. Nicky real soon worrying monday april second two thousand eighteen. Hello read it helps me again. Nikki actually me. Na demon possessed my body nikki not mar pretending to be nikki really. It's me and everything is fine. I think i think it might actually be over. Okay let me explain first of all. I want to apologize for the fact that my post last friday got deleted there was some formatting errors on my part that i didn't realize it may simply been too busy with things that have been going on. I didn't notice it had been removed as simply decided to start ova to explain what happened between marks post in my attempted post and what has happened since then enough has been going on that. I was planning on updating. You will anyway but let's just squeeze it all into one big outfit. I'm sure you're all getting tired of hearing it anyway. Have to work last saturday. Iran just like i said i packed up grabbing everything i cooked. I contacted my bosses and told them there was an emergency. And i would be m i a for a few days. I drove until i found the smallest hole in the wall motel light and have a hud off. I paid cash for the room. I thought he couldn't find me that way. Unfortunately i fucked. I had to pull cash out of a nearby atm. I use my debit card to get gas. I wasn't thinking those of the transactions he saw when he checked my bank statement. He found me on tuesday when he did. I freaked out. He walsum ma not even slightly. He walk difference. He spoke different. It was like a completely different man wearing mock skin. He tried to be gentle and sweet feigning concern to convince me to come home with him. When i didn't go with him quietly. He got twisted. This evil grin and calmly quietly. Told me what he had He told me everything told me that. He murdered ian smith with daga then burned his body. He told me he was a new man. Since the ritual that everything was so much better that he was so much better. He told me not to ruin his new perfect life. He was confessing everything. So i took the opportunity to proudly. I need to know what happened. I asked about the card in the photo. He told me they were link. Between him and smith. The credit card was to transfer the wealth and the photo was to show that they would double. I don't even think he realized left. Smith's pocket when he left he didn't know that he left evidence now but he's read everything. Well yes now. He knows the Taken over it's just too proud to confidence to see the areas that he's made leaving behind evidence and then going and announcing it on my reading. The demon inside is just too cocky. Haas my theory at least that a demon has taken over mark's body the only thing that makes sense is easier to stomach them. the idea. the mark was always inherently evil above oil. He told me that. Even if i told anyone no one would believe me so i should stop being so difficult. I try to keep him away from me. I had no idea what he would do. We think close. I didn't want to find out. Evidently one of the other motel patrons call concerned and called the authorities because the police showed up saying they'd received a report of a domestic disturbance. They spoke to a separately trying to get a grip on what was happening. I told them that he was my fiance. I was afraid he was going to hurt me. I didn't know what to say to them but somehow ended up. Being sent to a mental health facility spent the next two days being evaluated by every professional under the sun and the whole time mocks words rang in my head. I believe you. No one will believe you. No one will believe you so highlight well half light. I told them that we'd been fighting. I told them that his demeanor changed that he become angrier. More hostile dark. I told them that. I'd grown freight for my safety. That's why ran away. I told them only acting out to keep him away from me in the motel room. Because i thought he would hurt me if he got his hands on me. Yes left out the details devil the satanic ritual. Jeez i'm not crazy but the whole truth would have maybe sound like i was eventually thursday evening i was deemed mentally sound enough to return to my life if i chose. I checked myself out and immediately changed my emergency contact from mark to kelly. I didn't need him knowing that i was out. We didn't have a car a phone. Anything so i use the office phone to call i kelly and then the police department offer for joan. I told him where. I was and asked him to come pick me up. I would explain everything in person. Kelly was stuck at work and can get to come get me. Thankfully he obliged we went to. The police dyson settled into his office. I broke down crying and told him that. I think mark killed in smith. I told him that he confessed it to me. But he told me that no one would believe me because it was part of a satanic ritual. That sort of thing just doesn't happen around here. Upon the mentioned a confession jones got serious. He asked me most specific questions about the crime he asked about the murder weapon the dagga with being performed post-mortem when the crime had occurred things like that details that would determine from the autopsy made public knowledge details at owning. The police and the people involved should have known when i answered his questions to recite his faction. He got really quiet. I know that this was a tricky spot. What was he to do in this situation. Biologic i should be arrested on the spot for my intimate knowledge of the crime. That should have made me suspect number one but it already provided proof of my alibi still. Who's to say. I didn't have a hand in the crime and now is trying to pin it all We decided to break step outside for cigarettes while outside. I remember that. I had left his account load in on my computer. My computer which marked now had i was worried what he would do if he found the posts then i wondered if he taken them down alter them somehow to hide. His guilt asked jones. If i could get on the internet somehow to test a hunch. Curiosity had gotten the better of me. Imagine my surprise when i found mocks. Post the time stamp prove that. I was undecided lockdown at the time of posting so. There's no way it could have been me that being said it also didn't prove that it was in fact mom. Once we were show mark would be at work. I asked jones to drive me home once. They're i promptly all the apartments pa in my mind if we could find that dagger he might just be enough. It would be evidence before anyone says anything about the legality of this. No we didn't have a warrant but this is my home. My name is on the lease. I'm allowed to search my own home. Whenever i want and i'm allowed to have whomever i want there while i do so and i'm glad that i did. I found the dagger in mark's jim back along. With a brand new canister of lighter fluid a book of matches duct tape candles and a business card almost identical to some ales but with no contact information printed on it. No name no phone number just a plain matt black business. Copped like name. A number just been raised. I wouldn't even have known what it was if i didn't have an identical in my pass. Evidently mark had made the decision to eliminate me from the looks of it he was trying to turn into another ritual what flow i don't know but there at all was right there on the floor of my bedroom closet. Mock was arrested that night around midnight while he was at work. He's being held awaiting trial for the murder of detective. Ian smith jones told me that he thinks i should pursue charges for attempted murder or conspiracy to commit murder or something like that. I don't know it will seems so much right. I feel like. I need to meet with a lawyer in the meantime. No-one has left me alone for even a minute. Which i'm incredibly thankful. I had to go back to the police station to give an official statement about finding the murder gear was horrible. I'm staying at kelly's house until i figure out what to do my bosses at the bar in the kennel of meaning credibly understanding giving me some time. The owner of the kennel even slip in east to bonus to help. Detective jones has been by every day checking in gathering information. Now obviously the wedding is off. I'm planning on officially moving out too soon as possible. Count back to stay in the home. Where i once had such a beautiful life and loving relationship the home where my fiance. The man who i was supposed to spend the rest of my life plotted to mata me. Just do it now. It begins the new information things that have happened since i tried to update. I had to call mocks. Mother on friday and filler in one of the hardest things. I've ever had to do telling mother that. Her son is imprisoned for the murder of his long lost twin that he had apparently been planning murdering me as well. She was work destroyed confused. She said she would call me tomorrow. Once you come down and we told mall saturday evening she did. Call me back. She asked how i was coping then. The shaky breath said that she thought she might be able to fill in a few blanks for me then proceeded to give me the story of his pre adoption childhood. According to his birth mother at least the pieces that she'd been told when they adopted him monks birth mother had been iraq. she'd been pregnant four times before markian using each pregnancy for various reasons malkan the first children she carried to term. She was nineteen years old room. had it she'd been kicked out of a home. Sixteen ju to her first pregnancy father was evidently highly abusive. After a period of living on the street she began living with a new boyfriend. Much older man who prostituted are out for extra money. Because of this it's unclear. Who exactly father the twin. Eventually she turned to drugs somewhere. Around the time mckinney into and one that both mother ran into a dispute with a drug sauce. She tried to get more. She owed him money. He refused to supply her addiction until he was paid the debt. One way or another. She told him that she had the money. It was just at home with a boyfriend. She would go get it and bring it back to him to ensure that she returned. They took one of the babies. She had nothing else value for them to hold onto. Evidently she never retired. The only hard evidence of this the court records show that one euro baby named ian was anonymously left the hospital with a note giving the name and address of his mind when the authorities went to the house. She was gone along with baby mom upon trying to contact any next of kin. I discovered that her mother had passed away and her father was imprisoned. Eventually union was adopted by the smith. Family fast forward about a year and a half. An elderly woman called the police reporting that she'd heard her neighbors fighting the night before. Not an unusual occurrence but that she also heard a baby crying from the apartment all day. She was concerned for the child. The police arrived to find a two and a half year. Old mark crying in his cramp and his mother beaten to death on the floor. Mock was taken into custody of the state that is in short terms. How mark up with his adoptive family unfortunately however there is no proof at least the exact happenings most of what is known came from a diary that his birth mother cap while firsthand accounts are nice she was also a drug addict who had been abused most of her life. There's no telling how much of what she wrote was real versus how much she got twisted and her deteriorating mental state. She told me she never told. Mark any of this last upset. She asked several times if he had any memories of chicago. And it always said no so rather than raise some long repressed memory being triggered. She gave him the best life possible. But i know they still leaves a few unanswered questions. First how did. Ian smith ended up in the mental ward of a hospital in the first place. Well i don't have the full story but from the bits and pieces. I have heard gava that. He was mugged while out for his run. The day disappeared. The megastores phone wallet keys. Everything and ended up throwing the evidence into the river to dispose of it. Ian stumbled his way to the hospital for help injured. I assume from the mugging had no identification and lost consciousness in the he awoke violently swing hospital staff and freaking out that's when he was transferred to psych so make sure he wasn't a danger mass when some mail came to have him released from the hospital. What's like i said. I missing many of the details. This is just the basic gist. I've pieced together from the bits. I have heard here in that second who was calling me claiming to be detective smith. I wish i had an answer for you. But i just don't could it be someone who cloned his phone number. Young could have been some pranking me show but neither of these options explain how they knew to call me how then you mark was involved could have been demon mark just fucking with me. Yeah but why wouldn't he have confess that in these poorly planned telo post. Could it have been somebody else doing i guess. But but she markey's writing some l. is who he says he is. Do you really expect me to believe that. Satan has nothing better to do with his time and remember what he said. He couldn't tell me match. He's on the contract. My best guess is that maybe it really was ian smith like a call beyond the grave. I know that sounds crazy but come on with everything. that's happened. Who am i to draw the reality line and ghosts phone calls. Stead out marks deal for a. He was supposed to have lock and will and he ended up getting arrested. How does that work. I'm no expert on satanic contracts. But the way i see it. There are three possibilities. I mart messed up and cancelled. Audi's deal somehow or did something to reverse it. Second never was a deal. It's all meaningless somehow. Wasn't actually the devil or demon but rather us just a fucking psychopath who convinced an innocent man to murder his twin brother. If you ask me this is the least likely the three some alleys just to erie. He knows too much. He creeps the hell out of me. Something about him is definitely not human goal. Said another deal was made by someone else that trumped mark steel possibility number three scares me when i think back to my meeting with some mail in the coffee shop or i deeply hope that the deal wasn't mine which brings me to the question. What if i did just make a deal with the devil. What now set wanted to marry the man who loved me. I wanted my life back. I wanted all this bullshit to stop. Now i've lost my own lost my fiance. This is not what i wanted. I'm really hoping that means no deal was made. But if i did what do i have to give. What is my payments. What more do. I have to lose. I'd rather not think about that for now. Everything's okay right. I just need to figure out what my new normal without without my old life. I'll be okay. I hope everything is fine. One last thing before i go i want to tell you all that i have in fact been paying attention. I've read the comments. I've gotten your messages have seen the youtube videos. Oh you can believe what you want. But i know the truth. I know the hell. I've been going. I know because i'm living it. If you have any questions on that. Please feel free to contact me. There ain't me. Put yourself in my shoes. The last thing. I need to deal with right. Now is my sister finding a video of some gal reading my story and explain to the world while i'm full of shit. Why she's just saw over it. My fiance murder manning cope my fiance almost murdered me. You think you're over it. I'm over it. I'm done living in this horror movie. But you don't get direct your life for those of you who followed along and supported me through all of this. I'm forever grateful to you. I couldn't have gotten this far without your encouraging words. Thank you for listening. Thank you for believing me as for the rest of you may be. Mark was right. Maybe people will never believe me. But that's okay has always rents i will update you. If anything else happens. But i think i think for now this may be goodbye. We can hope at least monday. April twenty third two thousand eighteen high again. All i'm back. I suppose i should have known. I wouldn't be able to stay away for two. I told you life on. Never be the same. My wish i could say that. This is a good update. I even wish. I could tell you it was going to be just a bad update. I wish i could tell you how. I feel about horns being going on but as it is i nam but more than anything i since. I lost updated. I've returned to work both jobs. Well i'm no longer concerned about the extra money for the wedding. But i have to say. I rather like working at the bar. I love my coworkers. Love my manages regulars obviously had remiss around town and the hoping coming back into check on me. It's a great support system. I'm never alone when i'm here. However it's not enough to live him. So i'm my job at the kennels who i've cut my hours down a bit my own sanity main. I also found a place to move. It's nice on the other side of town just a little apartment. I don't need mushroom meet. It's only me. Kelly and detective jones helped me move in about a week ago. John i become quite close. If i'm being honest. He has been a huge support throughout everything. I'm very thankful for him. He doesn't need to this much. It's above and beyond his job description but it's also very nice well. I decided to get a dog. German shepherd rescue. Needs me as much as i need him. He makes feel safe and my boss at the kennel. Let's bring him to work with me. Things really started to go well. I was coping. I was able to sleep through the night house getting the help i needed mentally and legally but i started getting sick. Typical stress sickness type symptoms annoying adding convenient but nothing to be too concerned about. I wasn't concerned honestly started causing me. Two weeks work con. Exactly be taken care of. People's pats serving food if from throwing up and understanding is my bosses have been they've got to the point of requiring me to have a doctor's note otherwise i would start getting into trouble i went to the doctor was planning on just asking some anti nausea meds. Some sleep aid anxiety medication. Something something just to take the edge off and helped me realize they say they'd be happy to prescribe me. The best thing to help as soon as they did a full once over to make sure we weren't dealing with something more serious. They asked me the typical questions. Doctors any recent trauma any change in diet or medication allergies heights weights. When my last menstrual cycle was answered as you do the doctor but told them. I was on birth control and as a side effect hadn't had a masterful reading over two years. He's pretty common with this birth control. They said as much and they won't concerned about low fat but they needed to run some tests regardless before they prescribe anything to check everything out. Make sure they were giving me the right thing. They simpson's can point is more serious. Health issues. apparently got very long very painful story. Show test results showed. I was in perfect. How i hadn't contacted some crazy virus. And i was fine to continue working however i had elevated levels of certain hormones basically all signs pointed to pregnancy. I recommended. I set up an appointment for an ultrasound. So i did. It was this morning. I've been effectively numb refused to believe this was happening. Every part of me hope that they would tell me. That was some mix up. The doctors have been wrong. I wasn't pregnant that this was all just some sick joke. Couldn't be real. That's not what happened though the ultrasound technician rub that one around my few the sounds on the monitor went silent of my own amd breathing and heartbeat. I waited to tell me there was nothing there men. She spoke up and said congratulations. Mom is this your first pregnancy. And my hots i could have thrown up. No no no robotically. I told you that yes. This was asked if father was in the waiting room. If i wanted to call him the good news that everything. Okay okay. i told. The father was imprisoned on trial for mud. She went pale. High may have been to blunt but a high was numb. Why bother sugar coating the situation. She recovered and continued on normally. He finished the apartment. She gave me information about what sort of time line i have protests in checkups things of that sort but i didn't really process any of it i couldn't i don't want this to be real. That brings me to now now. I'm sitting in the parking lot of the police station. I'm here to talk to john. He's the only one besides kennedy. I can to right now. I've already left her. A voicemail to call me asap. i want. I'm going to say what i'm going to tell him. I just don't know what to do because the tech told me one thing that i did process yes. She said that everything just fine development look normal strong heartbeats to them. Both babies look fine. Thank you so much choosing to spend your time listening to me. If you enjoy the doctor cream experience and come find me on facebook. Come chat with me on twitter. Listen to the background music downloaded. If you like come soundcloud drop by the store teasha importantly if you go to store you'd like me to read sunday talk to creep involves sub reddit. I set up so that i could read your story looking forward to seeing you all again real soon so come check me out it's okay.

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