17 Burst results for "Mark Golson"
"mark golson" Discussed on Coaching for Leaders
"Either irrational or at least we perceive to be irrational and specifically we also all deal with people who are knows alls how can we do a better job at helping them to behave and more. Broadly how can we do a better job at being able to handle the irrational situations and people that we run into today. I'm so glad to welcome back to the show. Someone who's absolutely an expert at this. It's going to help us to really navigate some of the more difficult situations so we can do a better job at serving people and serving organizations. I'm so glad to welcome back to the show mark golson. He is a founding member of the newsweek expert. Form and marshall goldsmith. Mg one hundred coach. He works with founders entrepreneurs and ceos in dealing with and overcoming psychological and interpersonal obstacles to realizing their full potential. He is the co author. Along with dr dianna handle of why cope when you can heal. How healthcare heroes of kofi nineteen can recover from ptsd and also trauma to triumph a roadmap for leading through disruption and thriving on the other side as well as being the author or co author of seven additional books. He is the host of the my wakeup call podcast and is the co-creator and moderator of the multi-annual documentary stay alive an intimate conversation about suicide prevention. He was a ucla professor of psychiatry for more than twenty years and also a former fbi hostage negotiation trainer. One of his many books is titled talking a crazy how to deal with the irrational and impossible people in your life mark. It's been nine years. I think since you're on the show last. I'm so glad we've kept in touch. Thank you so much for your time. Well it's great to be back and right out of the gate. I wanna give people a little bit of marketing one. Oh one there's a term called mental real estate and it was taught to me from someone in orange county who is one of the original madge. Nears tony baxter And what he shared with me was the term mental real estate. And i said tony what is that. He said it's when you come up with something that's familiar. And then you twist it you own more mental real estate. He said for instance. Pirates of the caribbean owns the word. Pirates in the minds of kids because when kids think of pirates they think of pirates of the caribbean disney owns pirates. And i was thinking of that because my book talking to crazy has a certain amount of mental real estate. When i told people i was going to write about that and it wasn't about mental illness it was about dealing with people that drive us crazy. They all they all said. I need that book today for today. So that had met louis gate but i thought that was pretty good mental real estate. Yeah yeah it is and actually this leads right into the first thing i wanted to ask you. Is this word crazy. And that's not a word that sometimes is thought of as the most politically correct word. You're a psychiatrist though. So i know you've given a lot of thought to use this word in the title when you say crazy. What do you mean you know. I got a lot of blowback and i still have mixed feelings because i love my profession. I love the people who work in mental health. It's a it's a tough go and the world needs it more than ever and people would come to me in my profession and they'd say how can you use the word talking too crazy. We already have a stigma. How dare you do that. I said did you read the book. They said no. I said it's really a book about how to deal with people who drive you crazy. The people the impossible the irrational people in your life. It's not about mental illness. It's about how people drive you crazy and the title actually will get people to hopefully read the book because the book is really about empathizing with them so that you can disarm the way. They're being difficult with you. Indeed and as i think about the book and the advice you give and also the point you make that we all can be irrational right. It's easy to look at the other person and say okay. This person's been really irrational in this situation or is irrational often and yet of course we all step into that and i. I love the example. You given the book about someone giving you advice along time ago about what to do with a dog sinks its teeth into your hand which have share that if a dog sinks its teeth into your hand and you try to pull your hand out it will sink. Its teeth deeper. But if instead you push your hand into the dog's mouth it will start to choke in gag and it will let go which leads me to a little anecdote that at the beginning of the book that people found fascinating. Can i share that one. That was when. I had a little incident with road rage. Sure please so. I was having an. It's a little bit like pushing your hand into the dog's mouth. So i was having one of those days where everything. I did backfired. I mean i couldn't do anything right. And i'm driving in southern california. That's first mistake. That was a mistake. That's right so i'm driving from actually the westside of los angeles into the san fernando valley. You probably know that stretch of road. Yeah and And it's too crowded on the highway. There called the four. Oh five so. I'm taking a powell. Road called sepulveda's boulevard. So i'm i had a terrible day in his i'm driving. I cut off someone in a pickup truck with his wife any haunted horn and i just sort of wave and i cut him off again. Oh no i'm just so out of it and he pulls up he pulls up in front of me and he stops and i'm so out of it. I just stopped behind him. And this big six foot six. Probably you know just a strong surfer dude guy. He comes out and before he comes out. I can see his wife is telling them not to get out of the car. And i'm just staring at them because i'm having a terrible day. And so finally he gets out of the car he comes over and he bangs on my window and i must not have been rational but i must have pretty good instincts and i lower the window. I mean who would lower window to someone is banging on your window and he says to me you cut me off twice. Nobody cuts me off and you cut me off twice. I'm gonna show you never to cut me off again. And then i looked at him. And i said do you ever have one of those days where everything you do backfires. I mean everything in you hoping to run into the person who will put you out of your misery. Are you the guy. He said what i said. Yeah i don't cut people off in traffic. I don't cut people off in traffic twice i. I'm just having the worst day and nothing's going right in. Are you the guy who's going to put me out of my misery..
"mark golson" Discussed on Mindfulness Mode
"The music performed the music for the award winning amazon prime series man in the high castle you've had compositions on reaching for the stars and behind the sun you've done so much and now you're the voice behind a brand new ride in tokyo disneyland. How did that come to be. And how exciting is that just you know. I have always been a realistic dreamer. I you know. I don't set. I was taught by my beloved mugger. Not to set a limit on anything so You know. I when the bigger bigger auditions like disney or the amazon on. You know a lot of people would just You know. I just not gonna you know even by going because i don't think we're going to you know get that job but when the opportunity came i answer and then i just go and then do the audition and just go for it. And i was Really really stunned. Very sweetly surprised when the producers called and said. Hey we pick shoe and and It's it's it's really wonderful to be able to create a bridge between my voice in the audience and if they can get especially like in garate to music. It's really personal. you know. it is very personal. The this music is very personal and the night feel every time i hear it even myself i feel like i am connecting with the audience and i thinking that audiences are feeling the same that that we felt when we as we wrote and composed via this music while rico is that ride up and running l. Yes oh that must be so exciting for frank. I know that you have created the lyrics. Well i don't know if it's just a not not the lyrics you created a song. I guess you composed the whole song. Did you for suicide prevention video. Podcast what i'm thinking of is a ninety minute suicide prevention video podcasts. That you have been creating and it's called stay alive. Tell us how you came to create this. This podcast well again. Rachel and i created the song together and we created the video documentary with a couple other people. Basically the it's a conversation with a world famous psychiatrist by the mark golson is ucla. For many years and a special is a specializes in suicide prevention. In fact In his thirty years never lost a patient to suicide. He has a dialogue on this ninety minute documentary with radio and with another fellow this kind of well known. His name is kevin hines. That's the man who jumped off the golden gate bridge and live. And so it's a it's basically a message of education for people who love those are deep stress a message of hope of finding purpose and it's available stay alive video dot com by the way on online if you choose to But the the song as i say rako came up with this beautiful music about finding a a reason to live and we use the metaphor of a semi colon which is the symbol of those who have been touched or challenged by suicide in their lives or for themselves or with others and so we use that as kind of the starting for the metaphor and build from there and say created a song that we hope is inspirational and also used in the documentary film. Stay alive video dot com so mindful tribe. Check it out at that. You are l. because It sounds like it's a very powerful video and song. I'm really looking forward to check that out myself. i I want to ask a question about bullying rako. Have you ever been bullied. I always ask a question about this on my program. Because i've worked in bullying prevention for almost twenty years and i always ask a question about whether you have a story related to bullying where. Mindfulness would have made a difference. Do you have a story rico. I do it's a quite opposite. I was ball. I was a bully. Because i felt i. It's a long story and other talk show. He but i felt very quite powerless at home growing up in an elementary school in japan. And don't get me wrong not my parents. My parents are amazing. They provide it so much love and everything that i needed especially. My mother was just love and affection she. It just went thousand percent for her children. It's something was going on at home that i was. I felt powerless. And i took it out on the other children in school. I was like in the popular goal. Group should say and i was just being so angry that i took it out at But what i did was. I somehow knew maybe because of my mother i knew i was doing something wrong. Even though you know at age of ten or whatever and i will go visit all the kids that i bullied at school privately after school and say i'm gonna help you with your homework or this not as long as you don't tell anyone and i did that for many years until i realized that i should make a change and i guess as a child. I meditated and a night kind of you know. My mom helped me through Agreeing up out the puzzles and putting the pieces together that you know I am doing the same thing to other kids that i am getting at you know from the adults around home or the near and so i. Two wrongs don't make right so i stopped bullying and then just went to way of be in there as a voice for the week. And you know because by saving them. I felt like i was saving myself. I don't know if you if you get the idea. Yes i do. I definitely get the idea. Well thank you for sharing that. I really appreciate it. You have frank. I wanna talk to you a little bit more for our audiences benefit about the benefits of meditation. And i know that something you talk about. Can you tell us why you think. More people in the world should meditate. Well if going to what. You're talking about a moment ago. It just has this wonderful of value in a kind of leveling the field for all of us in terms of our daily experience. Our happiness in the moment notwithstanding our economic circumstances whether we.
"mark golson" Discussed on M&A Science
"Task building this out whether they're in pd corporate functions. And they're doing it from scratch and they don't know where to start and it's almost like out even initiate that first conversation was the appropriate outreach to get that person's attention without just being annoying self-serving again thinking more in terms of building a quality relationship of with your goals and help you achieve those and move further doing that so make sure i'm understanding the question. So brand new brand new person business development launching. their career was the first thing i do. Yeah we're getting past the research. Hey we we got a strategy mind. Here's a list of companies i've identified. We need to go after. I need to start developing those relationships. What are those early steps to really get things going. And i feel like it's the hardest part is just whether it's picking up the phone or chaffin that message and sending it out but making those initial steps that get things in motion. What i would say is go to a conference and make one friend. And i had a couple of colleagues that they would go to a big growth conference or and they come back with the stack of business cards. Look what i did and hundreds of cards and then stop. That's not what you're trying to do. You had that before you went if you wanna do that. Just paid a registered for the conference. Get the attendee lists and same thing but if you can figure out how to go to that event and literally make one friend that you feel i you have an idea of what makes them tick. And yes be somewhat machiavellian. Make a friend who is roughly in the zone. You're in and has a chance at some point of showing you at the be interested in and start there and really think about what's one thing i can do to help this person along their journey over the next couple of weeks. That's where i would start. And i think what will happen is that will be infectious and that will be the beginning of the brand that you're building as an individual there and the next conference you go to. You'll call that person at a time in the two of you will set up the dinner hill. Invite the few other people that he knows. And it'll be at dinner with six or eight people between the conference and you will begin to build a brand that way. And i think i would start with this mindset of. I'm not trying to bring home a stack of cards are. I'm not trying to round out my database. I'm going to start with a bunch of very high quality relationships and make that go viral. I would say that's the beginning of brand building in especially now in this market that is so efficient and so competitive. Would you specifically do in that relationship that adds value your data. You can share your network. You can listen and empathize with the challenges that they're having inside their company or trying to figure out how to build their own network the most valuable thing you can do in a world where all yapen is figuring how to focus the greatest gift you can give. Somebody is to focus one hundred percent of your attention on even if just for a minute. I think that's number one thing. You can do feeding back in the network share data thoughtful introductions and listen understand. Their challenges should needlepoint that. Pretty good place to start. What about when you're looking at some of those proprietary deals in maybe outside of the the conference network you're going down looking at targeted companies got. Here's five we're really looking for getting after and their own day to day environment you want to get some time to start getting those conversations to see where they're at in terms of their by cycle if there's an opportunity to deal with one of my judge phrases has been if i can talk you into getting married. I can probably talk you into marrying me that the end of the day. An emanate transaction is a massive once in a lifetime partnership for a lot of people fight for most people particularly business owner and so it is a really long journey to get to that point where the single most valuable asset in the history of my family. I'm gonna trust you. Jay and your firm plexus to take us to help us do the next phase of growth figuring out a lot of different ways where you can showcase what kind of partner and what kind of friend you were gonna be is how you advance the ball there. I just don't think it happens. Where i just show up and i'm so charming and conveyed. You know how awesome my firm is. Somebody goes great. You checked all the boxes you win. Here's the deal. You're going to have to figure out who the key advisers are and held them and build relationships with the the accounting firm and the wealth planner and the family members. You are actively looking for opportunities not through your words but through your actions to say. This is the kind of partner. I'm going to try to be. And i think you oughta realize you're playing a long game short sale cycle right along. We're talking about at the longest. I've gone jason. A single deal and a single business owner was thirteen years. And it depends on where you are. When i was up market in the ad on axs where a lot of the platform businesses that you buy if you i see them or when you first see them as the teaser from the investment bank. It's very much compressed cycle. We know one of the things. I love about what we're doing at plexus is we have an spic strategy working with independence sponsors credit oriented and then we have a control equity strategy the opportunity to go into these companies that are at one stage of growth and invest in them as a debt investor credited investor and really get to know the management team in a non-control whe and we've done one hundred hundred thirty deals like that out of that university one hundred and thirty deals we've been building trust and delivering value of being great partners. And i think a lot of the deals that we will do out of our equity strategy or where. We have had the chance to prove ourselves over years if not decades in a smaller non-controlled transaction and that is setting the stage for okay. Now when they get to the point they wanna do the full reach out or full bile to build on that. I love the fact that we have this. Highly diversified credit strategy alongside equity strategy where the investment vehicles that we'd have are aligned with trying to build trust and doing increasingly significant transactions that align with the life cycle Yeah a lot of long. Term considerations are what about red flags in what sense pursuing deals like some of those things where you really looking those relationships because we got a lot of time invested into it but when you it things that may signal that hey you should stop at this. Isn't something worth pursuing. And when you see a huge misalignment in character and values of good time go pencils down in a competitive market. I love hearing from a management team about their former partners or the early investors and there've been some cases where they have gleefully described basically how they shafted when early investor and there's always a rationalization that weren't adding a lot of value or they weren't holding up there into the bargain but that's a meaningful data point for me and definitely believe people can change. I believe people go through their own. Everybody's on their own journey and learning stuff but somebody who can talk about that difficult time in their history. As while this was a mistake wish had done differently in have a great outcome. But i learned a lot is very different from. Yeah i own it all now. Because i screwed the two other guys that were college team in the business. I guess that's a red flag. Somebody who is making this lifelong really important decision and there is this artificial time pressure. And i think i'm pressures important to make the decisions get back to work. But i can't think of good investment decisions that i've made over my career where i felt really rushed and i'm not talking about a i work every weekend but making haste is important because we all got stuff to do but when the other side is really rushing you in an artificial way. That's usually a red flag of something that hops up business owners. They are crushing it in a short term market There's some companies that did incredibly well during covid and that could be a total shift in the business model that has opened new doors as their competitive struggle. But it could be something. That's just like a one time market anomaly but probably raises the red flag as well is a great examples. I liked that focus on character and values really makes a lot of sons. What about decision making when you actually decide a move forward. We want to pull the trigger on this. What does that look like within the firm. Who symbolic what are the considerations james iraqi sort of wisdom of crowds. I think is trying to find the balance of the people who have done the most work and know the most about the deal making sure their voices are heard and then also figuring out a measured way to bring in the pattern recognition in this year risks from the senior partners. And it's interesting. Those are typically misaligned. The people with the most experience also have the largest span of control and are probably less in the weeds on the specific transaction. And then you're newer junior people they know every number in the dax. They've been of late at night. Grinded out but they don't necessarily have the broad pattern recognition across multiple cycles. And things like that and it's one of my favorite things is trying to bring two constituencies together and you think about it on a spectrum. You've got very junior senior deep in the weeds. Very eye level. No experience lots of experience and then trying to figure out how to blend those into a constructive i. C conversation is a the call a wicked problem. But it's one of the most fun things to try to give. You can go back and look at terrible mistakes that have been made awesome opportunities missed because the senior party didn't take the time to let the the highly engaged junior team make their case or on the flip side the senior partners. Who didn't blow the whistle and pull the plug because they were overpowered by the passion of the junior team. It's that fine line in the middle of bringing those two opposite sides of the spectrum together in the middle it's tough to do get zubin zoom out. With all his information. I d put together. Is there like a matrix put together or is it just having a qualitative conversation to really assess all these decision points. I'm a sound like a broken record here. But it is teaching your organization Really investing a lot of time in what that looks like usually the person who does the most talking in an investment committee discussion over my career is the person who's done the least work and they're probably doing the most talking as a defensive mechanism for feeling a little bit bad about not in down in the weeds. Enough love if you have any recommendations on this the short version of. How do you become a better listener in a business context. The only thing. I can find that i'm sinking my teeth into that. It's not about developing your listening skills. It's about learning to develop a really aggressive personal treacy if you can figure out at least as a senior team member how to be the most curious person in the room. I think you're going to make much more significant contributions to good decisions than if you are the guy who does the most talking. The good point mentioned the book. I made me think of just. Listen mark golson. I can't believe i didn't find that one yet. A majority for listening that seems so simple. A little bit embarrassed. just listen. just listen and that's a good. One actually interviewed him for podcast. We walked in some cases related to him in a around empathy in the post. Close transition period. Just listen it was good. I'm reading never split the difference my daughter right now. They're interesting points around that. I wanna talk to you a little bit about the selection process for anchors when you do decide to sell the company. I think it's a fun and interesting one. I'm curious how you do it. Because everybody knows the bake offs and be talked about. How do you differentiate your brand in in those things which applies well for the visors. Are i think it starts with a good playbook and it starts way in advance. I think a lot of business owners. And i've heard the phrase of thousand times they're putting together lists businesses run from five data thirty. And we'll say okay. Who the bankers. Where would you start. And this guy's been calling me for three years so we have to put him on the list just because they've got a good crm system and they bug you. Every ninety days does not make them qualify to sell your wrists. And it's just interesting to me that to see how many times that guy actually gets a pitch versus a methodical who's done a bunch of transactions spayed. I think it's really important to align size. You can get the bulge bracket banks and yes of senior partners will show up for the pitch and then you will never see them. I don't wanna be the smallest deal that bank does in a year. And i also don't want to be the biggest deal. That bank does a year. But i leave is at least as a private equity person especially in a crowded market. You should be able to and you can do. All the pre pitches you want. Trump to phone calls and understand their credentials was called that somewhere between five and seven but in terms of actual ninety minute to two hour pitches. It should be three or four. And i think you should have a scorecard that you share with you. Know the management team the board members. The whoever's going to be on that call with you and force people after the pitch to ride down to me. It's do they really understand. The business spent a lot of time. Trying to figure out who your point person is going to be. The partner will always do a ton of talking but that sort of vp principal. Young indy. it's going to be your point man. That's really important that you ally with that person always loved what else is going on. It's going to distract you from this. I love to see a team where the first year in the second chair or working on everything together. There's a lot of matrix models out there. At lenin be can have four different. Vp's that he supporting allied. To see what. I call a batman and robin combo batman and robin or your superheroes and they work together and they go everywhere together and they finish each sentences. Another critical piece is when they send in the fee proposal and the first break point in that investment banks fee. There's probably one single data point that tells me how convicted they are about the business. Can i break points are really important. We got the size. Make sure that it's not the biggest smallest deal almost both like culture fit and capabilities that you'd see how they're working as a team and then the fee negotiate those fees absolute out there is. It is really important for me to see their first volley if one group comes in and and their first break point in the she has it's six hundred million dollars and somebody else comes in in their first break. Point is seven hundred fifty million dollars that tells me something you can probably pushed them both or you can push the high guide up but what they think. Their first bid is single and very powerful data point in that evaluation. These are really great tips. What's advice you would give to going back to the origination process for affirm person that's really developing it again. Just looking back gear experience. Where do you think are some of the key. Tips or golden nuggets. We're going back to the new guy and look for deals as a private equity fund. Yeah orleans drives me nuts is somebody who wants to be in sourcing as a backdoor into execution be deal execution and deal excuse i think the market is mature enough aleph seeing the people that say i love the chase. I love building a relationship and finding the deals. And that's what feeds. And i believe it's two different kinds of people you know that a almost by definition a really good execution partner is really good at zeroing in on four or five relationships. And the ability to hyper focus on adding value at those deals and that would make them at crappy saucer. The really good sourcing person is fed by the new conversation. Learning that person figuring out what matters at scale with lots of people as it all the time. The the person who's the only reason i'm in sourcing is 'cause i hope to one day be an execution vice versa. Cross training is really important. And i would recommend every young person on the execution. I'd figure out how to get a tour of duty with the sourcing team and the opposite is also true. But i want to get into sourcing if you really get fed by the activities that are critical discussion. I think you've gotta have the call the long-term fair mindset if you're in with this idea of transactional i need to see this many companies this quarter and i'll do anything to hit that number. That's going to be a short an ugly career in business development as the market has matured that long-term building a long-term brand is far more important than just getting the next deal done and again. You've got to be urgent gonna follow the the current metrics and drive that but the play the long game. Don't just think about this year. This quarter i've seen more practitioners. Come up from the execution side. Then struggle with the skills you need to develop relationships ultimately get you in the origination side and the point where russia putting course together around it. I'm curious if you have thoughts for that person that these spend years. Doing the execution side are in the data room spreadsheets and doing all those things. But now you're getting pushed up to be more front running the presentations explaining things to the group i. It's a different skill set to develop and it seems like that seems to be the gap. It really is and it is almost comical. If you go back. And they're a bunch of great firms are finally doing a better job of this. But for the most part you look at who your recruit for the analyst or early associate role at either investment banks or private equity firms. And what they are trained do is the math and the execution work of getting a single transaction done and they go through their career of analysts associate senior associate on of the food chain and then somebody a decade later goes okay. You'll be a partner. You gotta go find some deals. What point in time did somebody say it. Just switches you go from being able to execute a bunch of deals. Somebody go find a deal. You can be a partner when you show that you grow the pie or the other senior activity and when you look at for the most part across private equity the most senior people at the firms their in sourcing capital or sourcing deals and train them for that and again in gen one gen to everybody that everything everybody was chief cooking bottlewasher. It was a much less efficient market. The well rounded utility player could do a lot of different things and as this market has gotten so damn competitive. and everybody's specializing. It continues to crack me up that ten years into your career or somebody says okay. Switch become relationship oriented sourcing guru and then i'll make makes no sense at stuns me how much that's habits and how little is invested in creating a bench on the sourcing side and hiring the person who's also on the sourcing team right out of college right after their first job is totally different in a lotta cases from the person who's awesome execution. They're really fair points. What could be done to help solve this gap but people through sales training on thinking like some dude with an awesome setup and cool retro art in the background and elect dynamic. Mike there ought to run a class. That feels like that would be really helpful to people. Anybody set the stage of be the next speaker for i asked jay. What's the craziest thing you've seen. I am not going to be one of these people that is just going to criticize politicians because they're politicians but the idea that with all of the challenges ahead of our country we should attack private capital as the bad guys is the dumbest thing i've ever seen. Whatever you can talk about. The is with the huge funds on one end but private capital is the fuel that makes our economy work job creation. If there's no private capital in a community and a guy built a great business and he dies the business dies and the private capital is. The fuel allows that business to go from being owned by that one family now. This management team was worked. Really hard gives their shot that they deserve. And the idea that let's demon is and vilify private capital to fix anything and i will try to use fewer obscenities. But it is the dumbest thing that i've ever seen. We are all aligned. Jobs are good make more of them grow. Our industrial base growing. All of those things are fueled with private capital. And that we're gonna go into this season of debating. How bad we should hurt. People that are investing. Private capital is one of the least american things that has happened in a really long time or turned to the positive. I think one of the most american things that you can actually do is to help a small business grow and create jobs and that's all private capital. Thus i agree. It's one of the greatest tools in capitalism but then the demonize is a very contradictory of the every state of the union address. You put the the guy that owns the laundromat on the front row of the balcony. And you talk about this guy. That's got tiny company that has one employee and then demonize the massive company. The did whatever the bad thing. Yes that happened that week. That's the pattern. And no one talks about the ninety seven percent of companies that are in the middle that create jobs. And that's great. I'm glad that guy started the small business but someone who's built a twenty forty fifty million dollar business and created hundred jobs and figured out how to survive for a couple of decades. That's what drives our economy. And that's what makes this country and we just decided that the national conversation is. That's the thing that we have to hurt to help everything else. And it is exactly the opposite in politics changing. No it'd be impacts jay. Thank you so much for your time. Today really enjoyed this conversation and learned a lot back at you. Thanks for the book recommendation and unlike the.
"mark golson" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!
"Welcome to. Nobody told me. I'm laura owens and i'm jan black and on this episode. We're glad to welcome back our guest psychiatrists mark golson. Who's been called up people hacker. He's the author of several bestselling books and was with us on. Nobody told me a couple of years ago to discuss book talking to crazy how to deal with the irrational and impossible people in your life then mark is back with us again and has written two very timely new books as we emerge from the pandemic one is called why cope when you can heal. How healthcare heroes of covid nineteen can recover from. Ptsd and the other is trauma to triumph a roadmap for leading through disruption and thriving on the other side mark. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having me on. I forgot what lovely voices you have both made for rodeo debut so much both of your new books touch on the trauma and disruption so many people have faced due to the pandemic. Describe to us what you're seeing. What are your observations about how this whole thing has been impacted. People will impact and everyone and it's interesting because it seems like there's a u shaped curve. There is a number of people that seem to be excited where we're getting past it. They're getting back to the new normal or the old normal but they're taking their masks off but we're also hearing Of a number of people who are instead of excited listless there unproductive. It's tough to get themselves going. So i've been addressing that part because the other people don't need to be addressed and people are asking me well. How do we understand people who the dangers gone. Why are they so listless an unproductive and the parallel that people seem to like is i bring up to to host and other people. Do you remember when you went through final exams in high school and college in you sometimes pulled an all nighter and after the five days finals were over. Instead of going out and celebrating you collapsed. Yeah so if we can imagine that kovic has been like over a year and a half of final exams straight so for us that parallel one of the things that enabled us to get through it. And here's just a little bit of neuroscience just enough to get me into trouble but you know when you're faced.
"mark golson" Discussed on Psychology of Entrepreneurship
"You're going to deal with all of the motions when you have to shut down a business or failed at something you have to deal with the emotions and it's not living in the emotions. It's allowing the emotions to move through without judgment in volume. Twenty eight friendly had a deep conversation with dr mark golson about mental health. He his insight into the psychology behind suicide and despair and how they present themselves from a range of different factors after boarding kill themselves. I wrote an article which became part of an eight part series and that was called why people kill themselves and after he killed himself. I wrote this blog. Call why people kill themselves. It's not depression. And what i said. Is that this. Hundreds of millions of people who are depressed too. Don't kill themselves. The menu do not many but some those hundreds of millions of people lose their jobs lose their marriage and they don't kill themselves not all those things can contribute to it but one thing that nearly all suicidal people feel which is what i spoke about in the article. Is they feel despair. And if you break the word despair into d. s. p. a. i r. a. Feel on paired with reasons slip. They feel hope less without a future help less power less use less worth less meaning less and when they all combine they feel pointless in a pair with death to take the pain away. So i think it's from that understanding mind photos. Trains us to welcome martians. And not react immediately or impulsivity. This training allows for greater cognitive flexibility. Which can lead to greater freedom of action and greater adaptability. Dan you saying something about allowing the emotions to move through you without judgment. Can you talk a little bit more about that when you're allowed that to occur without needing to do anything with it. I really believe them that the space will open up four opportunity and as i the mindset. I do not believe that things happen to me. And i am not a part of it. I take responsibility for myself. And my life one hundred percent. And if i'm not consciously aware of something that's occurring on some level i am aware of it and i just don't know it yet. That is a fundamental side of it so even before the house burned and my father died and all the big events in my life fundamentally i know that the universe is always got my back to unfold the level of consciousness in me to open me up to a level of spirit love compassion kindness. Grace that i don't know yet and if that's my modus operandi of how i live then it's just again the opportunity to move through the grief so that i can yet be on another level of consciousness that is ultimately the most fulfilling and rewarding to my life. Because it's like. I'm looking at this door right now if i'm not willing to go into the pain an open that door. I don't get to see what's on that other side. I don't get it and then you live in this little room here and that's it and we all wanna control our room. We all wanna live a certain way and have this and this and this is why i am so. I'm not going to do this. And i'm going to control that if you're not willing to face the challenges the pain the fear the anger the resentment g not willing to face it. This is as good as it gets. And i just don't believe that i'm like the more i do it the more i know i need to do it. The more i know that on the other side of it. I'm gonna be happier. And maybe better word is more joyful were more content more conscious more fulfilled filled bill more joyful more contents more conscious. More fulfilled you know what dan that sounds super fluffy does profit in business count at all part of the circle or spoke of a wheel. Province has to be one of them. But were so goddamn focused on that it has to be you have to figure out that is truly sustainable from an economic standpoint or else did just begging for money all the time so for sure. You need to acknowledge that from a business perspective. But i think we don't get enough emphasis to foundational principles of our business. Who's working for us. What's there why what's our why. Why are we actually doing this. If you're not honest with yourself and going this is for money. Then that's to degree at which you're limiting your entire business so just know you're gonna struggle you struggle. There is no hiding. The fact to the darren cares about sustainability above all else. It's ultimately more sustainable. When you're truly honest with your wanting to do this from so. I think people lack the investigation on that front and number two doing the work. That sucks and the work. That sucks is building these other pillars up. Not just how do i get the best influence or to do all this other stuff. Well what about your other aspects of your business. What's it four like. Is it a service is that is it giving something to is it is it better is your footprint of doing this going to make life better. The environment better people better give. It isn't hitting something that's absolutely meaningful. What the fuck you doing if you wanna if your end with thing and you're making money on great good but what are you doing with that money. That's an energy form. Do something with it. So i think just the plagues entrepreneurial plagues businesspeople plagues humans to investigate the reasons for doing things and that takes vulnerability.
"mark golson" Discussed on The Official BNI Podcast
"Into doing one too much at the expense of the other. I love that I don't know if you know this about me but I color code my calendar. Based on the activities that I'm doing to make sure that I'm spending time being creative and doing the things I love doing as well as the administrative stuff and. Anything in red usually involves lawyers you know so. I Color Code my calendar for that very reason. I love that idea you've ever so true Yep. All. Right. So you have a process to help business owners and you call it prepare PR e hyphen capital p. a. r. e. prepare for anything what's that all about? So the prepare prn means. No willingness to shift your mindset, a willingness to look out of the market and your business and think differently you know the definition of insanity is doing the thing over and over again expecting better results. And then what pair Pr East ends for his pivot align resolve execute and what that means is after you have the intention, yes, I'm willing to switch in order to survive and then thrive. Pivot means you have to shift the the way you're thinking you have to just like a just like a basketball player needs to pivot you need to shift the direction you're going in your head. And in the A is you have to align people to shift with you and they're used to doing what they're doing and the author is resolved and resolved means you have to have the resolve to say I'm GonNa Pivot and I'm going to align them but then you have to resolve the conflicts in your head and resolve conflicts between people so that you can get them to align and then e is execute then just then just act. And this is something you need to be doing in visiting with your team's probably at least every couple of weeks. You'd buy your teams you referring to the people who work for people who were closely to you your your key people. Well this is great stuff and that's definitely what we had to do and be an I. I. mean the first thing was to pit it. We had nine, thousand, six, hundred in person meetings, and we had the pivot very quickly to online. We had to get everyone aligned with it We had to figure out how to do that and You know all that was was part of what you just described. So I think that's A great. Outline for what to do during uncertain times. Any closing thoughts before we wrap up? You just because you're afraid doesn't mean you're endanger. It's important to keep that in mind because sometimes little happen is we will get anxious just because of everything around us but it doesn't mean that you're in danger something you can actually do every night. That'll me don enable you to sleep? Is the say yourself what can I get done tomorrow? That will help Mike. Company move through this. Write it down before you go to sleep. What can I get done? Tomorrow that will help my company move through s and then write it down. You can change it when you wake up but at least it'll help you fall asleep. While I'm that was really profound just because You're. Just. Because you you're afraid. Doesn't mean you're endanger. Is that right? Yeah, right. That's powerful statement I appreciate you sharing that and I appreciate you being back on. A be an eye podcast. Thank you so much if people want to learn more about you. They can go to mark Golson DOT COM. That's Marta G. O. U. L. S. T. O. N., DOT COM I, and I'm a assuming can get your podcast information there as well as. So yes. Mark thanks for being back on being a podcast. They thank you Ivan best to be an nine. Thank you already priscilla. Okay. Thank you so much. Both of you that was very insightful information. The sponsor for this.
"mark golson" Discussed on The Official BNI Podcast
"How are you in wherever you? Covid, we still have that going on. I'm doing great. I Have I've got a guest here today and and my guest is Dr Mark Golson A. He's an executive coach and consultant entrepreneurs founders CEOS focusing on leading effectively through uncertain times and he's currently writing a book on that very topic we'll be published in early twenty, twenty one. Is the author of seven books. He hosts the my wakeup call podcast, great podcast and his the creator of the field of surgical empathy. I remember talking about that one mark I'd love to hear about that off air. So I'm honored to call him my friend Mark Welcome back. You've been on several times. Welcome back to the night podcast. We'll thank you for having me on again. It's always good to speak to you and help you organization and your chapters and members to be more successful especially in these difficult times. Yen you've got this is a great topic how to succeed in uncertain times so. I've got four questions for you. The first one is, how do you see the unknown as an adventure because I think mindset's important and I think that's what this is probably about. A mindset is huge. I've been I've been presenting to entrepreneur groups and and what distinguishes the people who seem to be doing okay. Are Thriving is they look the unknown as as an adventure to be lived whereas the other people look at it as a danger to be avoided and what distinguishes those people see it as an invention to be lived is they have a track record of the unknown introducing opportunities. whereas. The other people the unknown frightens them because they saying, what are we going to do with our inventory? What are we going to do our markets? Not Buying? What are we? What are we going to do and so it's it's something that you can. You can get into, but you sort of have to practice it. So one question you can ask yourself if you have a product or service is. What problem does our product or service most? Solve for WHO. because that's A good way to think of. What you have, and if you have a certain market that you have a relationship with and your product service doesn't currently. Give them a good solution. You have the relationship with them. You could say what problems might they be having? We could urgently that they urgently need solved we could solve plus you can refer other be an members. Which, and the coin of the Realm is generosity givers game and you can go into conversations helping your customers. Survive these times and provide them with other people beyond yourself and those people are going to be grateful to you. I know some are thinking yeah M- that might work for other people but I'm here to tell you wait. Wait. You know what you're talking about is is real. I've lived it. You're my biggest challenge personally was losing a massive client as a consultant which because of that, it led me into this great adventure called and I be an I would not have been created had I not lost my largest client. So I think you're absolutely correct. So I'm talk a little bit about trusted team and how they fit into this. Well when I realized when I speak to entrepreneurs is they're often gr-. They wouldn't be entrepreneurs if they weren't great at some sort of vision in some sort of strategy, the model neck is execution because you have to do things through people and people are messy. Be Messy, but we all have personalities. and. So the key is to really get a great team aligned with you. I was saying before the podcast that I am. And possibly the happiest I've been in my career because I'm writing two books for Harpercollins and I of fully locked and loaded team members. When I'm on the phone with them I've and I actually cry with gratitude because what they bring to the table allows me to stay in my lane. And their lanes a complimentary. And you know I look back at some of the teams had before and I think I've enabled people I've accepted people who weren't good team members. So realize get anything done. You need to be able to execute an you execute by a working with the best team, and then of course, it means getting the best people on your team. Right and and be an I it I think your fellow members can be part of that team I've seen a members by having mastermind sessions. One to ones with other people get some great ideas. To help them during these difficult times. Showed would agree with that. Yeah absolutely when you and and sometimes. It's tough to hear what we need to hear, but don't want to hear. So Well it's really important in those masterminds that when people are giving you input, it's not to make you feel worse about yourself. It's always to make you feel better but sometimes they're gonNa to tell you things you need to hear, but you don't want to hear. Because it may mean, you have to start saying no in cutting off. Things that. From Your Business that no longer serve it but. You. Don't know how to do that. Could interesting one of my specialties. I've trained FBI hostage negotiators and I saw him on this pretty good conflict. Resolution person and I get. I get brought in because. Avoiding conflict or dealing with a poorly as one of the biggest obstacles to success. And and not because people don't have the will to deal with the conflict, they just don't have a way. That doable by them. They're afraid they're going to upset people are going to hurt people they're gonNA feel guilty and and that's something that the more you master those skills. It's amazing how the stress can go away when you can walk into any conflict with confidence. Nice show. How do you coordinate both your creative and your pragmatic inputs in a situation like we find ourselves in today? A friend of mine told me we. Always Guard our calendars. And you know and I. was mainly an empathic person for thirty years. I was a suicide specialist with no patience killing themselves for thirty years. My main tool was something I call surgical empathy I went into the dark night of the soul, and I kept them company there when they felt less alone they started to cry they started to feel better. They started feel relief they sort feel hope. But. As I've expanded what I do out into the business. World. And I have an entrepreneurial spirit. My entrepreneurial spirit is not the same as my empathic abilities, but if you can hollander. A little in your calendar times to. Do Creative problem solving and then other times to be practic pedal to the metal against the stuff out the door. You know then you won't lean.
"mark golson" Discussed on Psychology of Entrepreneurship
"Success. When you're hunting for perfection, I think can make it even worse. Why do we sit these unobtainable standards of perfection in a way that we can't measure it, and sometimes even having that measuring component can be bad because we feel a bad self sense, self esteemed bad self worth as we're doing these things. For me, growing up I was trained to think that every moment that I was not doing stuff. That is not being productive. I just felt like it was always more more more. So I kind of wanted to get his perspective on what it was like to be an entrepreneur in today's Day and age. Because I just felt guilty every time what was doing something and that was just not sustainable. Then formation was the key Ron's later happiness success peace of mind, etc, we would never ever ever be happier than now because we've never had such information, nor have we ever in the history of mankind. Accessibility to information through laptops. IPADS iphones whatever it happens to be. But what's happening is we're consuming the speed of light so I? Read a book last week and read another book this week another about next week and I go. What stood out what book arlette per class with change my life great. How are just changed my life? Maybe here that how? And I'm not saying there's new information of books you've written books I've written books I'm going to write more books, but if we just read tree books, put them on our bookshelf and kept going back to those books and implementing the things that were organically intuitively aligned to who we are, but a lot of us are consuming books because we're. It's driven by scarcity. If I don't read the latest greatest book, I'm GonNa miss out and. What's happening? Is that can get this right? And then I'll stop is that we're consuming information. The information does not have the time to turn into knowledge because we're too busy reading the next book consuming the next podcast. It, Ever goes down into wisdom. An almost never land in a place called awareness. Did you know that six percent of employees would give up five thousand dollars a year in salary to be happier at work. For me, I think what tends to happen. IS WE AS BUSINESS? Owners as creatives get asked for the recipe for success straight off the BAT. And what I would love to tell us that I have all the onces but five really don't know what is possible for you and for me if I have and we have a little bit more faith and trust in voice. What have we stayed in that unknown part for a little bit longer? I. Know that every time stating that unknown, the creative part of me made my creative side, even more creative. I get asked about most pain-free way at podcast ones business almost as though a podcast will fix it all. I know the steps we've performed the steps we've gotten. The results are repeatable, but of the ingredients going in on considered than the best recipes quite useless Sunday. We usually feel the issue is one thing when it is actually something entirely different. Ninety nine point nine percent of clients that come to me for clarity about X.. It's nothing to fucking do with X.. It's always do with why x is the by product or something deep. The question the people are asking you speculating said don't know. How can I be that? How can I be a? Beacon. How can I get the sandwich? How can I get the luck? My one of my best friends in Ireland Jeff said you're the guy I've ever met. The, luckiest guy, I've ever Nash just put you in a car. Who Win the race do this. You put you in a shop with no clothes some Angie jackets and It's so interesting that we're asking the wrong questions we'll so many of us are seeking for truth in the wrong places, and we're not asking the right questions because we're afraid to. So, what are the right questions? You Graham does his opinion on what the right questions up back in volume nineteen I'm just ask questions because I I tried to feel what is happening like well. Let's see where we're at. What is the foundation is a foundation. Is The foundation strong as a week, can we? Can we strengthen the foundations or value? There I'm trying to find out where the value is. Right. Where's the value is building on? The foundation makes no sense of the foundation is not strong. But strengthen, the foundation can be very valuable if it's not strong. If something we can agree on so I. Just have a sincere seeking for truth in everything so like the separate. The bullshit I'm did this a lot. Sometimes my conversations because it's it's almost like I'm trying to pull away the bullshit, so we can get to some fundamental stuff, so if luck has got nothing to do with it, and if I'm asking the wrong questions, why brain, coming up with these questions in the first place and Why is my brain looking for those answers in the wrong places, the brain is designed to protect us. I tell you right now. I don't get this left right. Brain Front Lobe, the court, the court to don't know one IO's about that stuff, and I find that if I get drawn into the detailed complexity. It's not who I am. All I can tell you is. The mind is one of the most deceiving manipulative pieces of equipment flesh, human bodies on earth I never have trusted my brain and unfortunately i. I do my brain way too much and brought me down all sorts of pets. It creates paranoia second guessing everything else and his powerful I. Don't get me wrong. Not Arguing his power and somebody was some people say we use three percents when people say, we use ten percent of her brain God. Love us. We ever figure out a way to use fifty percent of our brain. We will become mechanically machine like which is already happening in the world. That is who we are becoming. We're becoming machine like. Official estimates show that fifty percent of the adult population will experience depression at some point in their lifetime before Kiddie pumped in with that depressing stat about depression I remember having conversations on my first podcast about connection and connecting food. There's a study done by Monash University here in Australia that says that there's zero occurrences of adolescent depression if the family eats together at least once a week. The power of connection is one that we on not paying attention to the disconnection is making machine like. I've been asked about getting my business very often from other entrepreneurial friends. And to be honest, I live on the dichotomy of whether skill on my business, but like scaling the world faces big challenges. I suppose like global warming. And the catastrophe that the world. Challenge the world is facing. Today is not global. Warming is not mass population that might lead to starvation. It is not. Donald? Trump is not those things. It's the fact that we are becoming so disconnected, and we're forgetting had to feel, and society doesn't reward us with emotion rewards US based on intellect, and what is perceived as to be successful, and a lot of us are focusing on obsessing about living in the now. I don't WanNa fucking live in the now with my now ship. In volume, twenty eight Mark Golson gives a further explanation about being disconnected or in his words. Said I wrote this blog Kawai people kill themselves. It's not depression. And what I said is that there's hundreds of millions of people who are depressed. Don't kill themselves the menu. Do not many but some. Those hundreds of millions of people lose their jobs. Lose their marriage, and.
"mark golson" Discussed on 850 WFTL
"Depression, mental health issues. This is definitely a topic that is big right now in this country. And right now, we are dealing with those issues and talking with an expert, Dr market Goldstien, who is an expert on mental health issues and been in psychiatry for most of his life. Now and Dr Goldstein we were originally. We were talking about some of your treatment ideas, especially for infants to prevent them from becoming depressed in the future and being able to what you said, take the hit so they can deal with failures in life in the future. But one thing I noticed that you haven't really talked about so far is medical treatment different medicines that are used now to treat people with depression or anxiety, or whatever mental health issue, there is, what is your thought on some of these treatments for adults who are suffering from these issues. Oh, I think medicine is critical and important. And when they're prescribed appropriately, they can be life saving. For that. I'll give me just a little teeny neuro science is when we're stressed out it trigger. They stress hormone cortisol and cortisol kind of helps us deal with the stuff and what cortisol does is it triggers a part of a mind, our brain Colby amid. The part of our emotional brain. And when the cortisol triggers the middle of the. Shenley blood flow, into our lower survival brain away, from our thinking, brain, and that's called an amid the hijack. And so, when you hijack someone away from being able to pick talking empathy might help. But sometimes you need to do something chemical. And so all the different medications the anti depressant campaigns -iety mood stabilisers now, something, we're very hopeful about something called ketamine ketamine is formerly something. The psychedelic. It's it seems to be able to totally stop see Seidel thinking, immediately and it's being increasingly prescribed for people who just can't stop feeling that way. The medicine is, basically do is they find a way to stop that vicious cycle stress equals cortisol equals amid the hijack equals blood flow to your to your arms and legs to survive. And you can't think so, so often when talking or empathy doesn't work medicine can help. And I think there's an increasing use of medicine though. This is the inappropriate years as a replacement empathy because as I said the name tool, I use with people who are suicidal was tuning into the dean gate pain inside them, and then the documentary, stay alive, which is that YouTube stay alive video. There's one segment called chapter seven we'll we talk about targeted interventional empathy. And, and in that we talked about something called the seven words. So if you're listening and you have a teenager. Or you have a spouse who's really does want to talk about it? You know they need to talk about it, and they say, leave me alone. Get off my back the way the seven words works, and it can be magical any the life saving. So imagine Tino, says leave me alone, I'm fine. You let them say that our normal reaction is okay. If you wanna talk about it, you might feel better, and they say, leave me alone, let them say that pause for two seconds and say I know you want me to lead you all but seven words, and they'll look at you with a what they might say something a little more dicey than that. And you say, yes, seven words, and then say it as if you're trying to drain the pus out of their pain, and you say, yes, seven words and listen to the tone, perk, prayed, angry, Shane alone. Lonely. Tai Kwon, when we do it in the documentary jumped up and Golden Gate Bridge, just as I've done it with suicidal people over the years, he smiled. And he says, all of them, but then you're in the conversation, you say good, pick one. Okay angry. Good. Tell me when you were your most angry in the last week. So if you've got understand what you're doing is you're drawing them into a conversation that will cause them relief as a as opposed to just backing off. And they say leave me alone, and it's really been quite effective in getting through to people. And that's not to say, don't take medicine. But, but I think if you don't touch that core with empathy and compassion is putting lipstick on a pain. So, yeah, how do you make the distinction though, for those who need medicine and those who could be treated just with psychiatric help, just what the empathy that you were? Speaking of. I would say and this is what I'm trying to do around the world. I mean, by mission is to ease pain one conversation at a time and teach people how to do it. And I just gave you one of the tools, so my mission, and it's quite a struggle, and I would like people to reach out to sue big. Is to teach people to empathize. I is to connect with people first and see what happens when you've done it correctly, you caused them to cry. The problem for a lot of parents is your child's crying. You get panicky Russia. Oh, it's going to be okay. But there's a crying in which crying with relief at they're finally getting it off the chest. And if your child sees it makes you nervous that they're quiet and you try to shut it off. The message to them is expressing their feelings, which gives them relief. His wall. We'd go with empathy first and then see where that takes you. Because see with empathy. Empathy is fueled by oxytocin. And when you give people a burst of oxytocin tenderness carrying compassion. What happens is the cortisol goes down the amid doorstops hijacking in the blood flow goes up into the upper brain so they can engage with you. And maybe then maybe have a rational conversation. We're talking with Dr Mark Golson, who is an expert on suicide prevention and mental health issues before before we go wanted to give you an opportunity if people want to know more about to if they want to listen to your podcast or read some of your books. Do you have a website or is there a place that people can go to find out more about you? Because because I've ADD several websites. So one place, I refer people to is the mental health News Radio network is more than fifty podcasts. Mental health and my podcast. My wakeup call is carried there and people about, you know what matters most in life. Now and what was the path? In the wake of calls. They got them there. My wakeup calls and wake up is one where you'll find that the website Mark Gustav dot com. You can find on documentary stay alive at two dot com. Forward slash you to stay alive video and finally on Twitter, I five hundred sixty thousand follow is an eye permanently pin at the top a tweet about have you ever known someone known up someone who died by suicide, and it has two point four million impressions over fifteen hundred comments of people just listing all the people, they know who've killed themselves, and in his heart wrenching, but I think it's I think it's helping people feel less alone. All right. Doctor Goldstein, thank you so much for coming on with us, and we'll try to bring you back on the show, again to talk more about these important issues. Yeah. Love that. Especially a veteran suicide Jila twenty two veterans who kill themselves every day. So we can talk more about what's going on there. That is a big issue. We will definitely do that. Thank you so much. This is the Ford around table, a closing thought in a moment..
"mark golson" Discussed on 850 WFTL
"Right now, we're talking with Dr Mark Goldstein, who was originally, UCLA professor of psychiatry was that for over twenty five years, his also, former FBI and police hostage negotiation trainer his an expert on mental health issues as well. And let's bring him on now. Dr Goldstein, thank you for joining the show. So before we get into some of the issues that dealing with mental health in our country right now, one of you give you a chance to sort of talk a little bit about yourself your expertise, how you got involved in this field and what your background is a little years ago. There's always a backstory, especially a backstory to people who become psychiatrists psychologists. So in medical school I dropped out of medical school twice and finished. For untreated depression, and the second time I dropped the medical school. Illinois was passing wanted to kick me out, because they were losing funds. Was pretty down. And a dean of students there spoke with me any, any basically reached down and saw a future for me that I didn't see he saw value in me that I didn't see. And he saw the, the NFC told me said Montgomery street and goodness, in that we don't create medical school and the world needs that but you know what to your thirty five? Thirty five and then he, then he stood up to the medical school saying, I think we need to give this kid another shot and something about that change. And I've been paying it forward ever since. And I was a suicide specialist for about twenty five years, and never my patients killed themselves. Basically replicated with the dean of students did premie, meaning I developed something called targeted interventional empathy. What that means is going into the deep psychological wound and people's psyches souls, and spirits, and you go in there and you touch it with a real pointed compassion, and they start to. News and cry and feel relief. And once they start to feel relief. They start to feel hopeful. So that's been my approach. And I think that's maybe why I got through to people is I would go in. I would basically go into the dark night have been a soul and keep them company there. And so recently, I'm part of an award winning documentary called stay alive. An intimate conversation about suicide prevention, and you can find it on YouTube YouTube dot com. Hashtag stay alive video. And it's there for free. And I talked to Kevin Hines who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, and he survived, and we just drill into what would make you want to kill yourself. And so that's probably more here. But maybe that no. That's exactly as exactly what I wanted to hear. Good to hear about your background. I also believe speaking of your background that you've written several books on the issue of suicide and mental health and what's your latest book that you have out right now? Well, this is kind of a. One book. I wrote it called just listen. Discover the secret to getting through absolutely anyone and that's two languages and they speak around the world. Catch this, I spoke in Moscow, two years ago for six hours, just me for one day. Oh, wow. Manager to manager of the Russian federation on empathic listening, and it was the best audience I've ever spoken to the most receptive audience. I spoke spoken English. It was spontaneous wheel translated into Russian and, and they were so pleased. They met a highlight reel. If you look at Moscow, Google, spin GIO, YouTube, you'll see a three minute highlight reel. And you know. In terms of listening. I can't get arrested in America. Because. Have lost the ability to listen. And that may explain why there's so much mental health issues because when people don't feel listen to, and they feel alone. I wanna talk about suicide about depression. I say that the main reason people commit kill themselves is not because of depression, broken marriage, broken a loss of job, which can all contribute to it in my studies and work with suicidal. People what I believe they feel at the moment they do it in spare. And if you break the word despair into DS. P A R A feel unpaid with reasons to live. They feel less help less power less were less useless. Meaningless, and when they feel unpaid with the reasons to live, they feel quite less, and they pair with death the pain away. So you said Americans are, you know, not, not willing to listen. Why, why is that what is causing us to be like that? So this is this is a little bit of, by unsolicited soapbox commentary on social media. That's all soapbox. I actually wrote a blog called bird musk. Stop killing us revenge of the nerds. Two point. And what I what I said, is that years ago, tenderness compassion, love making fueled by a hormone oxytocin, that's our bonding hormone that led to pleasure, which is fueled by dopamine, the pleasure hormone? But what happened is while we were connecting the pleasure by connecting to people. There were a group of. Who didn't connect to people, but they love the radio shack, and they loved heath kit. Heath kit project. What happened is they got excited by technology even though they couldn't connect with people, and what's happened is they addicted the world to adrenaline. Gremlin is excitement. And now excitement leads. Leads to dopamine, it leads the pleasure and oxytocin which is about bonding, and closeness has faded. I mean to be compassionate to be tender to be carrying it all takes too much time. So you think we just get distracted really easily? And we just want instant gratification, rather than working on building a better self over a longer period of time. You hit the nail on the head. We. Oh, round the wastebasket terms like ADD and a lot of entrepreneurs will wear the badge ADD and, you know, you think well, I don't know why you're so proud of being unfocused, but they do that. And, and see what combs dot com. What focuses eighty adrenaline because it Drennan is like Adderall. And one of the reasons you get people eighty DV stimulants is so that they don't have to be crazy exciting behaviors together driven to keep them focus. What happens when you addicts the world, especially teenagers to adrenaline. Adrenaline and think of power in excitement. Video game so powerful and the only thing more potent. More potent than an adrenaline, rush of adrenaline crash, and it is a buck, so you can go from feeling all excited. Like you're going to win at something to suddenly lose it. And I was speaking to someone the other day, who's fourteen year old son hung himself. And he said, this so much suicide awareness. How do we how do we prevent it? And I and I really love trying to come up with simple doable. And I said, I said, I said, you know. Here's a simple air wanted prevent suicide, depression, and anxiety, and it's teaching kids to take the hit. So every day they're up upsetting claims that happened to everybody. And. And I define mental health or mental illness as the greater of a mental health, you have the more upset you can deal with and take the hit without doing something destructive to yourself of the world and the less mental health you have. Skin. You're the disappointment of frustration. You can take without doing something destructive. We're talking with Dr Mark Golson. He's a regionally UCLA professor of psychiatry for over twenty five years, an expert on mental health issues and suicide prevention. So I want to back up a little bit. Then you had said, one of the causes of why Americans don't listen, social media too many distractions. But what do you think is the root cause of say, the deep depression, that makes people? Think about committing suicide. Depression, is I came up with a formula called H too far and what it stands for and I'm really experimenting with this, because I just became a grant grandpa for the first time about two and a half months ago. And so I'm looking into the eyes of my grandson, and I'll tell you all the cliches a true. I'm not a great believer in cliches. But when you're a grandparent, and you're looking into. Of your grandchild, and you're not responsible for them. Bond with them. Doing this experiment. Come my wife and my daughter, they think little wacko. But they've always thought that anyway. Look into Griffin's is and he's now making contact. I'm imagine he's looking at me and say was born am I gonna have a good life? Am I going to be replaced by artificial? And then, and then, and then he'll start to and pain pain in my stomach, you sure, I'm gonna make it through grandpa and the Klay is I keep that in my mind. And I and I look into is trying to connect with them. Because I imagine if you have an infant, who's totally vulnerable dependent powerless, looking up into the is feeling hurt on the world. Something, physical second age is they feel when a parent doesn't connect with them. Instead of my going looking into and trying to connect with them, what he saw can you stop crying already you in your career. And you know we. We take the feeding so I can go and do my spinning class, and if he's looking up and he's feeling helpless, and he gets either anger in return, frustration or just someone who's just totally not connected. Who's just totally gabbing on their phone. Maybe I'm making dramatic but this whole rise in depression and anxiety really getting to me. So I'm hoping that Griffin will internalize that he's not a loan helplessness. All right. I don't mean to cut you off. But I wanted to hold that thought for just a moment. You're listening to the fore and around table. We're talking with Dr Mark Goldstein on suicide prevention and mental health issues or continue the conversation in a moment..
"mark golson" Discussed on One Life Radio Podcast
"Right place. You're listening to one live radio. This is Bernadette with diamond gray the Anna Betty, toes and Kip Watson tiger is hey ladies, girls, whatever. Hey guys. Well, I do too. That is thing up north. Right. Is that a northern? Mid west thing. It's the northern thing. What's up, well what do you guys do you guys? Not y'all. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. It is a regional defended shut that up. Yeah. Nicely. You have to be clear, you're not supposed to not meant to be like any offensive thing. Like to a woman right? Yeah. It's all inclusive. I have to share with everyone that I'm so chill. I am so so chill. I've been pretty much alone for three day filling in my house. Yes. Playing crazy. Music, doing whatever the heck I want, you know, my dance last night, of course, idea I dance every night. I say I thought that was. Yeah. I was listening to dancing through some beastie boys last night. Oh, Lord growth, one of their records live on the air, back in the day, when it I really I did. I hated it so much. You hated the beastie boys? Why trash? Oh, gosh. I don't feel them say that, that's some of the some of the you know. Definitely was cutting edge at the time. Yeah, but I didn't like it. So I broke the out. Well, this is back in the day in radio where we actually had albums. We had vinyl. Oh, wow. So I took it and smashed it. Oh, you literally smash did. Yeah. What? Yeah. I did. Wow. This is eighty six eighty seven eighty seven. Wow. Yeah, I don't know what were you listening to instead. A good question, AVI. Probably more the alternative stuff back then tones on tail Susie, and the ban cheese by house cure Colt. Definitely not beastie boys gone. Dance. If Christie great dance beats, I think people I mean I mean you're supposed to listen to the lyrics and I do most most of the time. But like I love to pock some of the most rancid, you know, lyrics out there, you can't get much worse. I mean, well, you can new rap, you know, you can yeah, but yeah, but to pockets, you know, a classic classic and I love dancing the to park. I would think that you would to 'cause you like to dance. And he's got some you know, he was so talented, it very much. So, yeah. So all right. Well, let's take up the power notch. I guess I feel like I'm gonna fall asleep over here. We've got a great show lined out for you. That's for sure. We've it's powerful show with Dr Mark Gustafson. He is the co creator and moderator of the suicide prevention documentary stay alive. I just finished it this morning. He's also a former UCLA professor of psychiatry suicide in violence prevention expert in one of the world's foremost experts on listening. That is something that I'm so passionate about, you know, lot of people don't listen very well. You know, it's a life skill most humans really struggle with. Yeah. It is. It is. It's important to last Guinea married couple. Yeah. Ask any parent child dynamic. Yeah, it's one of the most essential life skills to be satisfied, and joyful and all areas of your life. But one that just seems to be lewd human reasoning. Yes. Some people are just really terrible listeners. I'm gonna read a. Little quote from the beginning. Or the what do you call it the beginning of the book the what's forward? Yeah, there you go the forward. Okay. From a doctor Golden's book, just listen. Which is not the we're not talking about his book, but it's discover the secret to getting through to absolutely anyone. And so he right about that. Well, there's a quote that he puts in the book from Edward Schneiderman pioneer in the field of suicide prevention, founder of the Los Angeles suicide prevention center and cherished mentor. And he writes this, this is in memory of if you listen for hurt fear and pain, or for people's hopes, and dreams, it is nearly always there and with the other person, feels you listening and feeling them they will let down their guard and open their minds and their hearts to you, as I said, that's Edwin Edwin Schneiderman. And so, I feel like that so true. Well, listening, creates the dynamic of validation. Exactly. Is different than agreement. Yep. You can validate somebody without agreeing with right? But what, what had led you said that I have a very good friend, that's lover to pieces, but she's not a very good listener. And, and I never feel validated, whatever, and it drives me freaking crazy. When people go God, you're not listening to me. What are they really saying? Yeah, you're not agreeing with me. Well, it's not glaring people want though, when they say that. Yeah. And instead if the actual about the gift of listening, you just wanna validation, even if you don't agree. It doesn't matter. I don't think that they want agreement at least in my case, I just I want understanding, I want compassion. I want understanding more than anything just like a deeper level of understanding, and when you're listening, you can give that to the other person, you don't have to worry about what you're comeback is, you know from what they're saying just sitting and listen sit with it for a minute. But that's just it. So couple days with what you said that. I think are important. One is I can help somebody understand. But the fact is, I can't make them fully understand. They're not me. They never walked in my share, not me. And so I can't expect them to understand. Can I expect them to listen validate? Yes. I can. But this what happens is, when people hear something either they don't agree with. Yeah. Or they do have some sort of comeback four or they go. No, no, no. Now. That's not accurate. Then they interrupt they invalidate. And they like take over the conversation. Yeah. Yeah. And so you have to be a good listener as the moral to this little story that we're if you wanna have good relationships people. Well, actually considering what each person's opens you up, which is what we all need. We all need someone to understand us. And at the end of the day, that's. A huge part of preventing suicide. It's the connection that's missing with someone that really deeply understands and cares. And just listens invalidates your feelings. Yes. Yes. That. Well, you can give that gift to somebody. But, but yes, there is a little bit of a, but I can't I'm not gonna fully understand your pain, because I'm not you will. I have something similar, maybe. Yeah, but I think part of what's wrong is people expect people to join them right into fully understand them. And that may not be possible. Yeah. The expectation is unrealistic so that creates this. Like, like nobody understands me. Well, there's what seven billion people on the won't understand you? But you each have a unique story set of circumstances. You're not special somebody's felt the same way you do. Stop thinking that nobody understands very prideful sell or that no one has ever suffered as much as you have that you own. Somebody has somebody has probably much worse. Yeah. I think I think both are actually true and helpful if you can understand that, like, yes. I can give that compassion and understanding, but as the person expecting it, you gotta understand that might not actually happen. And you can still be okay with your view. Yeah. Yeah. And I love that we're talking about all this today. It's shrink day and we've got to shrinks, we got Dr Mark Golson and Kip Watson Kipp Kipp, Watson also is a licensed, professional counselor and supervisor and a sports psychology professional. She has two master's degrees and nearly twenty years of experience. She's also a certified high-performance coach and we're gonna be talking with her the Cady continued conversation of why therapy may not work. And sometimes it just doesn't work, right? But also to help you understand what to look for a therapist so that you can get where you need like I've had two examples just this week, where people have called me, questioning and concern because their previous experience was not a good one. Didn't help them. Yeah. We'll you made the point when you were on a couple of weeks ago that a lot of therapists just. They sit there impassively just listen. Good therapist job is also to give you tools to put in your toolbox to help you navigate better through life, and ultimately, hopefully and up. Well, and, and I think that's where a lot of therapists. Yes. Part of our job is listening validating helping someone to understand, and feel that compassion for where they're at, but we can't keep them there. We have to help them and equip them educate them guide them, influence them to their own insight about improvement. Our job is not to coddle them and keep them where they're at. Yeah. Yeah. And I think I find in the twenty years, I've been doing this, that a lot of people have experiences with their, the disarm very good. They're basically paying somebody to just listen to them. And while there is some healing in that you can get stuck there. Yeah. And you don't wanna get stuck. You wanna keep im- embracing improving and moving forward. Yeah. Yeah. That's your life coaches. Well, so it's going to be great. We're gonna be talking about with Dr Wilson child, teen suicide risk, and the don't ask, don't tell dynamic which you just happened to know a lot about. And I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say is as well. But I think we're going to go to break and get this party started out diamond give me a little beastie boys will show. Kip really jacked. Okay, everyone. Stay tuned..
"mark golson" Discussed on 850 WFTL
"Florida's talk and entertainment network. I am. Michael Yaffe suicide prevention, depression, mental health issues. This is definitely a topic that is big right now in this country. And right now, we are dealing with those issues and talking with an expert. Dr market Goldstien, who is an expert on mental health issues and ban in psychiatry for most of his life now and Dr Goldstein we were originally. We were talking about some of your treatment ideas, especially for infants to prevent them from becoming depressed in the future and being able to like you said, take the hit so they can deal with failures in life in the future. But one thing I noticed that you haven't really talked about so far is medical treatment different medicines that are used now to treat people with the press. During Zayed's or whatever mental health issue, there is, what is your thought on some of these treatments for adults who are suffering from these issues? Oh, I think medicine are critical and important. And when they're prescribed appropriately they can be lifesaving in one of these for that. I'll give me just a little teeny. Neuro science is one wish trust out it trigger. They stress hormone called cortisol and cortisol kind of helps us deal with the stuff. And what quarter full does is it triggers, a part of a mind, our a called the amid the amid the part of our motion brain. And when the cortisol triggers the middle of the middle. Shembe blood flow, into our lower survival brain away, from our thinking brain, and that's called an amid a hijack. And so, when you hijack someone away from being able to pick talking empathy might help. But sometimes you need to do something chemical shift up, and so all the different medications. The antidepressant campaigns -iety a mood stabilisers on now, something, we're very hopeful about something called ketamine ketamine is formally something, people use almost psychedelic. It's it seems to be able to totally stop see the Seidel thinking, immediately and it's being increasingly prescribed for people who just can't stop feeling that way. But what all the medicine, basically do is they find a way to stop that vicious cycle stress equals cortisol equals amid villa hijack equals blood flow to your to your arms and legs to survive. And you can't think so, so often when talking or empathy doesn't work medicine can help and I think that's an increasing use of medicine though. So the inappropriate use as a replacement for empathy because as I said the. The main tool, I use with people who are suicidal was tuning into the deep pain inside them. And then the documentary stay alive, which that YouTube, it's stay alive video. There's one segment called chapter seven where we talked about targeted interventional empathy. And, and in that we talk about something called the seven words. So if you're listening and you have a teenager, you have a spouse, who's really sullen doesn't wanna talk about it. You know they need to talk about it, and they say, leave me alone. Get off by back the way, the seven words works, and it can be magical any the life saving. So imagine team says leave me alone. I'm fine. You let them say that our normal reaction is okay. If you wanna talk about it, you might feel better, and they say, leave me alone, let them say that pause for two seconds and say I know you want me to leave you all. But seven words, and then they'll look. With a what they might say something a little more dicey than that. And you say, yes, seven words, and then you say it as if you're trying to drain the pulse of their pain, and you say, yes, seven words and listen to the tone, perk, prayed in greed, Shane alone. Well. Tired? Then when we do it in the documentary with the jumped up in Golden Gate Bridge, just as I've done it with suicidal people over the years, he smiled. And he says, all of them, but then you're in the conversation, you say good pick. What okay angry. Good, tell me when you were your most angry and the last week. So if you understand what you're doing is, you're drawing them into a conversation that will cause them relief as a as opposed to just backing off. And they say leave me alone, and it's really been quite effective in getting through to people. And that's not to say take medicine. But, but I think if you don't touch that core with empathy and compassion is putting lipstick on a pain. So how do you make the distinction though, for those who need medicine and those who could be treated just with psychiatric, help this, what the empathy that you were. Speaking of. Well, I, I would say and this is what I'm trying to do around the world. I mean, my mission is to ease pain, one conversation of time and teach people how to do it, and I just gave you one of the tools, so my mission, and it's quite a struggle, and I would like people to reach out to me to me is to teach people to empathize. I. It's the connect with people first and see what happens. And when you've done it correctly, you cause them to cry. The problem for a lot of parents is or your child's crying. You get panicky Russia. Oh, it's going to be okay. But there's a crying in which crime with relieve that they're finally getting it off their chest. And if your child sees it makes you nervous that they're crying. And you try to shut it off. Then they the, the message to them is expressing their feelings, which gives them release is wrong. So I would go with empathy first, and then see where that takes you. That'd be good. See with empathy. Empathy is fueled by oxytocin. And when you give people a burst of oxytocin of tenderness of carrying compassion, what happens is the cortisol goes down the middle stops hijacking in the blood flow goes up into the upper brain so they can engage with you and maybe have then maybe have a rational conversation. We're talking with Dr Mark Golson, who is an expert on suicide prevention and mental health issues before before we go. I wanted to give you an opportunity if people want to know more about you, if they want to listen to your podcast or read some of your books, do you have a website or is there a place that people can go to find out more about you? Yeah, because because I've ABD I'll give you several websites. So one place. I refer people to is the mental health News Radio network is more than fifty podcasts related to mental health and my podcast. My wakeup call is carried there and I give you people about, you know what matters most of them life in life now, and what was the path. In the wake up call. They got them. So if you look at my wakeup calls and wake up in one word, you'll find that I have a website, Mark Golson dot com. You can find on documentaries, stay alive at a YouTube dot com forward slash to stay alive. Video and finally on Twitter, I five hundred sixty thousand Paul was an eye permanently pin at the top a tweet about have you ever known someone known up someone who died by suicide, and it has two point four million impressions over fifteen hundred comments of people just listing all the people, they know who've killed themselves, and in his heart wrenching, but I think it's I think it's helping people feel less alone. All right. Dr Goldstein, thank you so much for coming on with us, and we'll try to bring you back on the show, again to talk more about these important issues. Yeah. I would love that, especially a veteran suicide Jimmy twenty two veterans who kill themselves every day. So we can talk more about what's going on there. That is a big issue. We will definitely do that. Thank you so much..
"mark golson" Discussed on One Life Radio Podcast
"One life radio is brought to you by our sponsors, great companies like sun warrior plant based protein, use the code oh, L are for twenty percent off crazy water. The only mineral water bottled in Texas Kito mad ketogenic metabolic nutrition. Use the code oh L are for forty dollars off and free shipping on his temp. Happy healthy on a CBD use the code oh, L are for twenty percent off. Nature's played plant based meals to go paleo magazine wellbeing journal, and the international society of sports nutrition, be sure to go to our thorn research dispensary on our website for twenty percent off and free shipping. Thank you for listening to one life radio. Recognize it. Albion. A-. Diamond and I are like dinosaurs. She didn't know who. Diamonds in thirty thirty thirty two ninety. Yeah. Well, the reason I picked the song is because we're talking about suicide and, you know, I read that among black children suicide is up by seventy seven percent, and you know what we're, we're, we're on this world together. And we need to fight this. We need to be educated about it. And I am proud to say that we have Dr Mark Golson on the line with us today. We're gonna be talking about why every child, is it risk for suicide doctor golsen is the co creator and moderator of the suicide prevention documentary. Stay alive. He is a former UCLA professor of psychiatry FBI hostage negotiation trainer suicide, and violence prevention expert, and one of the world's foremost experts on listening. He is the author of the bestselling book, just listen. Discover the secret to getting through to absolutely anyone. Dr Wilson is on the board of advisors for health corps. And received the doctor w Mark Woerfel resilient heart award, this past April. For more information visit Dr golsen at his website at Mark Golson dot com. That's M. K. G. O. U. L S, T O, N dot com. Such an honor, welcome to one life radio. Dr Wilson it looks like I don't have to plug myself. We got you. You never have to plug yourself on one life radio, because I'm so appreciative of the people that jump on the air with me and helped me educate America, and I thank you so much for your time, because this is incredibly important subject facing our nation today. So let's talk about this, why every child is at risk for suicide. So why is it so dangerous to assume that your child could never die by suicide? Because you don't know where they go into the darkness of their minds and a lot of times when you read about suicides and other children parents, rubber neck. They're looking for anything that can reassure them. Oh my my kid isn't like that. I'm okay. And part of it is we get scared because a lot of a lot of teenagers will not talk to us. So I wanna get to right outta the gate, a tip that your listeners can use to get through to teenagers who are in the mood and you ask them if they wanna talk to you, and they say, leave me alone, fine. Get off my back. And if your parent what you usually do you back off and say, oh, okay. Okay. You might feel better. You talk to me, and they come flying. Leave me alone. And that teenager knows they need to talk to someone but they don't want to because they think you're just going to annoy them. Oh, yeah. Well, I have to tell you, you know, Dr golsen this, this subject hits, really close to home on so many different levels. I have friends that have. Had their fathers recently, commit suicide. I had a very dear friend of mine, who I just ran into whose son killed himself, nine months ago that I was unaware of, and my heart was breaking the whole weekend, after I'd heard the news and then myself, personally, about almost two years ago, this December might we were having a dinner party at my house, and my daughter. My oldest daughter we've talked about this on the air before I have approval to talk about it, which is great because I think when you talk about it, you can heal so many other people by feeling because they don't feel alone. But so we were having this dinner party and my daughter was acting a little strange. He was acting strange. So I took her aside and other part of the house, and I said to her, Honey. What is wrong with you? Why are you acting like that? And she burst into tears and her eyes got his big is like a deer in headlights. You know. And she said to me, mom, I'm really depressed and I wanna die, and I have to tell you at that moment, Dr golsen I wanted to faint. I was so in shock and so fearful and, and. Now, she's doing so much better. We've gotten her the help that she needs. But if you ever have a child say that to you, it is very, very startling. And you do go into dislike hyper, hyper, what do I wanna say, like a hyperactive state, hyperactive state of fear like it's almost unnerving where you can barely function when you're so worried about your child, perhaps committing suicide? And here here's the challenge is many times people feel suicidal when they feel like a burden to everyone on the burden of my parents, my brothers and sisters think I'm manipulative and,
"mark golson" Discussed on NewsRadio KFBK
"It is designed to move the United States from a family based immigration system to what the administration now describes as an employment in skilled based system. They are calling it a point system and it's for those who are applying for us citizenship. And under this plan those with skills, and education would go to the top of the list to enter the United States, legally may is mental health month. So we're going to go in deeper right now on a segment about how to recognize that your kids are in mental distress and suicide is the leading cause of teen death in the country, and it's no secret. There is a mental health crisis impacting teenagers and overwhelming parents, parents who are immersed in their own stress and inner chaos may miss the signs at the kids are struggling, so we talked with Dr Mark Golson is the co creator of new documentary called stay alive. An inch. Intimate conversation about suicide prevention, he says many families. Engage in a don't ask don't tell strategy to cope with mental stress over. Well in most. Just pick up if they don't want to be a burden to their parents and spend unconsciously. And then also one of the reasons teenagers don't open up and ask a teenager. How you feeling says what you really want to know? I tried to kill myself over the weekend. That would scare the heck out of the entire family as it should. And one of the problems is, when you trigger and parents, anxiety, or panic. You feel like a burden but it causes you to be the more agitated as a t the doctor Colston says, when parents do try to pry teenagers will often say on fine, fine. So he has a strategy for this he calls. It seven words, just leave me alone, and that's unusual. So when you get that response if you're a parent, especially if you overwhelm you ways your hands and Joe. Okay, okay. But if you wanna talk about it, you might feel better. I'm fine. Leave me alone to the way, the seven words works is when you get that response you pause for two seconds, which shows that you actually heard them. And then you say you're I know you don't wanna talk about it, but something words and they're gonna know what you say it this way. Trade in ashamed alone. Lonely. Tired pick one angry. Good. Tell me about when you felt that you worst boiling it down to seven words, great idea, so parents, they're the ones who are trying to help. But sometimes they're struggling to find out what's going on with them. In a world, which everyone is depleted Olga. Well, then you have nothing to give when a parent, a mugger can actually feel compassion for what she's going through, and she can talk to feel relief..
"mark golson" Discussed on NewsRadio KFBK
"On all cylinders in terms of commerce. I think we're getting to that point in terms of retailers who can actually deliver to your front door. It's going to be Amazon, and WalMart. And then drop off to everyone else. But that's what we're we're watching today. That number their numbers were were pretty darn good. Cisco also had good earnings so yesterday, it was kind of interesting because we are down nearly two hundred points. And then it was revealed that the president is thinking about delaying tariffs on automobiles for six months market turnaround finished up one hundred and that momentum should. Continue this morning. Also federal judge ordering the FDA to start regulating e cigarettes. The ruling says the FDA, vacated its legal duty when it put off reviewing all vaping products. Let's check the real time numbers as we're about to get off and trading on a Thursday FX foreign exchange dollar one zero nine against the end. A buck eleven we'll get you a euro one twenty eight the British pound the Dow Jones industrial average up one sixteen yesterday. We'll open up another oh, seventy five to eighty points off the opening bell open at twenty five six forty eight gold. This morning is down four twelve Ninety-three announce oil is up a little bit. Currently trading or actually up a one over one percent. It's almost sixty three dollars a barrel, and our tenure yield two point four percent. All right. Kelly, thanks very much want to pick up on this discussion about mental health, and it affects depression, not just kids, and how parents talked to kids, but, you know, for parents to they go through their own struggles Christina they do. And. Parents are the first line of defense for the kids mental health. So we're going to hear a once again, this is Dr Mark Golson the co creator of new documentary stay alive. An intimate conversation about suicide prevention, he says just like the airlines tell you to do you need to put your own mask in place and save yourself before you can help your.
"mark golson" Discussed on NewsRadio KFBK
"Sanders is the latest candidate for president to come out and throw his support behind breaking up Facebook when asked by politico. If antitrust action should be taken against Facebook Sanders said and we quote, we have an increasingly monopolistic society where you have a handful of very large corporations having too much power over consumers may is mental health month. So we're going to talk about suicide being the second leading cause of teen death in the country, which is just amazing. And there it is no secret that there is a mental health crisis. It is impacting teenagers and adults and overwhelming parents, and parents who are immersed in their own stress and inner chaos may miss the signs that their kids are struggling, so we talked to Mark Golson, who is the co creator of a new documentary called stay alive. An intimate conversation about suicide prevention, he says many families engage in a don't ask. Don't tell strategy to cope with mental stress most. Most. Just pick up if they don't want to be a burden to their parents and spend unconsciously and then also a one of the reasons teenagers don't open up, ask a teenager. How you feel they decided what you really want to know. I tried to kill myself over the weekend. That would scare the heck out of the entire family as it should. And one of the problems is, when the trigger impounds anxiety, or panic Donnelly feel like a burden but it causes you to do the more agitated as a T. I know this heavy topic is super heavy, but, you know, there's a stigma attached with mental health across the board in our society. Thankfully, more people are talking about it. I mean, Britney Spears managers came out and said, we don't know if she's going to perform against she's having mental health issues and more. People are starting to be willing to talk about it. And Dr golsen is doing with his his documentary and with his teachings, he's trying to get parents to do a little prying because teenagers will often say on fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. So he has a strategy for parents, and he calls. It seven words. Here's how it works. Just leave me alone. And that's unusual. So when you get that response if you're, especially if you're overwhelm you ways your hands. Okay. Okay. But if you wanna talk about it, you might feel better. Leave me alone to the way, the seven words works is when you get that response you pause for two seconds, which shows them that you actually heard them. And then you say I know you don't wanna talk about it, but seven words, and they're gonna go what you say at this way. Trade and ashamed alone. Lonely. Tired pick one angry. Good. Tell me about when you felt that you worst. So I think that's a pretty good strategy to get the conversation going. Now you've heard that saying when you're in an airplane put your mask on before assisting, your child with the mouse, we're going to talk about that we're going to carry this over, but we do have to get to traffic.
"mark golson" Discussed on KOA 850 AM
"This week is teen health week and after high profile suicides linked to mass shootings in recent weeks. We're looking at suicide prevention, Dr Mark Golson is a suicide prevention expert, and he joins us right now. Good morning. Dr thanks for taking the time to join me are the feelings for suicide with teens different than suicide for an adult in in if power are we should we approach it with teens. What makes it worse for teams in the open up? Well, in fact, in one of the reasons they don't open up Fisher cycle, if they open up often it makes their pounds anxious, and they're paying a pound jump in with all these solutions. And basically what the team wants to feel. They wanna feel less alone in their pain. So let me triggering variety and your parents their parents, they will do this. We'll do this. We'll do that often. But just it make it can make the team feel worse. So we have a documentary called stay alive. You can find it at hashtag stay alive now. And the whole idea is to reach into where your kids are hurting. Even if they won't let you there's actually something we came up with about how to get through to your kids go with one of your teenagers. They hate heart to heart conversation. So do this when you're driving driving say to them the worst that you can feel how does it get all of that up with when you felt how bad it could get how often did you feel alone? Where and when you were feeling that horrible in the loan with what did it make you feel and want to do? And what did you do? And so what you're doing is you're leading them into expressing what went on in their head when they felt alone. Again, it's best to do this. When you're doing an activity together because they can't stand these heart to heart. I two things on your shutdown. So you're fine. And then see what they open up with. We came up with something called the seven words, and this you can use with anyone even when they're out opening up and. And they wanna talk about it. See I know that you don't want to talk about it. You say scuffing words, and they're gonna go what you could say. Yeah. Hurt alone. Angry afraid. Lonely. I work with suicidal patients for twenty five years and knock on wood, none of them killed themselves. I take the main thing is I found a way to go into their despair, and I wouldn't extensively how people who do kill themselves. What they have in common feel despair. If you break the word despair into ES bash PR, they feel unparalleled reasons to lift hopeless helpless. Worthless. Useless meaningless the end pointless. And they tear duct to take the pain away and stay alive. We talk about how do you reach people in the dark night of the soul. We can do that. They started to cry. They start to feel less alone. They started to get better. So the key is engaged. But do it in a way where it's disarming and not where you feel like you're cornering your child in the process because if they're already feeling exiled, you'll feel that much more as a parent coming at them. Right. Absolutely. Because they're going to pick up your anxiety the epidemic. We have in the world is the don't ask don't tell. Because there's a lot of people who are afraid to ask what their kids are feeling because if if your child says, I feel like killing myself, triggers, anxiety and panic and good intentions in parents. But they don't know what to do. So what happens is they both avoid it. And then sometimes it's going to happen. He's the co creator moderator of stay alive. It's a video podcasts of podcast video podcast documentary on YouTube an expert on suicide prevention, Dr Mark Golson sports at five. Mike.