20 Episode results for "Mara Wilson"

Mara Wilson Had Great Opportunities and Difficult Challenges

The Hilarious World of Depression

40:09 min | 1 year ago

Mara Wilson Had Great Opportunities and Difficult Challenges

"This is a story about someone working through mental illness with the whole world watching his depression funny yeah I think it can be. I think that it it definitely they can be. I think that lately I've been thinking of my OCD as as as somebody in my head and my depression as well as as some in my head that's just just you know people who like really try to shock you are just just end up coming across as really boring you know you're the worst in your terrible and you suck and everybody hates you forever and I'm just like wow oh wow leg who pulled you out of two thousand and to play like yea like okay okay like yeah. It's like this teenage edge Lord and my brain. You know I think when you can think of it like what if you do something terrible like you know what if what if you liked the house on fire. It's like I'll do that. Why are you making me think of that. That's stupid It's the hilarious world of depression. I'm John Mo and we're going to make some. I'm very cute. Movies significantly less cute. I'm Mara Wilson and right now I am. La Mara Wilson is a writer and and actor and she looks different end sounds different than when she was a famous movie star acting in movies like Mrs Doubtfire with Robin Williams Cook. It's face you remind me of Stuart little. One of the most honorable creatures in all of literature. Do you know that book Stuart Little. It's finite. I make favorites or miracle on thirty Fourth Street Brian. You know what I know. Komo secret secret Santa Claus known for a long time He's hot rail or playing Matilda Matilda. GotTa be this honey. You can adopt the look. I don't have time for all these legalities. Let's second dad. I have the adoption includes. What would you get those little book in The library. He had to tell speaking of Xerox. Mara was a big star very skilled actor too and I remember it was fun to watch those movies because she looked like she was is having fun. the. Yes sometimes it was. I don't know there were there. Were a lot of really dark times too because I had a lot of issues with mental health but it does seem kind of surreal to me sometimes the things that I went through and I think it was hard for me to accept a lot of things that I'd gone through and sort of understand how oh cool they were. You have to understand that I have really bad imposter syndrome. I really felt like like nothing. I really did matter to anybody and the most fun aspects Romy I think we're we're probably just all the people that I got to know the places I got to go and these kinds of things and that I think was was really fun and I think eventually Kinda got burned out on it it. I it's it's strange to me look back. I feel like I was very unlikely child. Star although a lot of child former child stars I had talked to they they they kind of felt similarly like they never particularly wanted to be anybody famous or anything like that they just wanted to to have this sort of creative outlet and they they did and then things kind of took off so it's it's a weird it's a weird complicated thing and and I feel extremely grateful for it and I I had so many wonderful opportunities -tunities but I do think it took me a long time to sort of embrace that all into understand how fortunate I was. Mara grew up in Burbank California cornea. There are TV and movie studios everywhere in Burbank. It's like the auto industry for growing up in Detroit when she was a baby Mara. Her parents and her siblings got a unique opportunity. They were like looking for families for a toothpaste commercial when we were young and I think my parents saw that as a good chance to put some money away for College Ledge for us and so we were we were featured in that and then afterwards one of my brothers still wanted to keep doing that so he did it for a little while and then he he got tired of that pretty quickly and I saw what he was doing and I didn't get tired of it. I wanted to keep doing it. Mars parents knew about the entertainment industry. Her Dad worked in television enough to have mixed feelings about it so they tested her. They made me do like a mock audition and then at the end they said okay. You didn't get the part and I said that's okay. I can just go on on another one and they're like okay well. She's a bit more resilient than than we thought because I was very anxious insensitive kid. I think that a lot of times people assume that if somebody is anxious insensitive especially as a child that they must be very introverted that they must be very sad all the time time they must be like this and and know that was the thing I didn't have the mixed blessing of of introversion and shyness to kind of keep me from you know my own anxieties and social phobias. There's no I was. I was alternately you know I was. I was either a sweet positive child our I was you know who wanted to befriend everybody or I was this crying anxious mass and that I think made people very confused because I didn't seem to you know have a shy bone in my body and then and then suddenly I I was kind of transformed. When did the anxiety starting it. It always one never never started just started yeah. It was it was you you know there was no big bang. I mean it was it was just kind of I. I don't remember not being scared. I it was it was little things I think when I was little being being afraid to watch a scary movie or something like that getting scared on on you know a little things like getting scared of rollercoasters getting scared at music videos and things on TV at any kind of reference of any kind of harm or danger. It's normal for kids to get scared by stuff like that but Mara found. She couldn't let it go. I always would be like why is nobody talking about. The fact that the sun is GonNa. Burn out you know why is why is nobody talking about. The fact that a girl girl was killed by a drunk driver. Why is nobody talking about any of these things. I would worry about these things. All the time and one of my brothers told me that like we'd we'd gone on vacation Asian into Minnesota and there was a shop there and somebody had bought me as a gift a set of these Guatemalan worry dolls and I I don't know you you know it was it was late eighties early nineties culture appropriation. I don't know if they are actually Guatemalan but the idea is basically you you hold these these worried on you whisper your worries to them and they take them away and apparently one of my brothers found me at like four years old like curled up holding them and crying and she asked me what was wrong and I just looked up to him and I said it's just my worries again and I mean that's kind of before and you know and say it's my worries again. I think I always knew on some level that my worries were a little bit weird or at least that other people weren't worried about them and so that made me wonder like is everybody else crazy and I'm the I'm the one who knows all these things or am I crazy and everybody else is saying and and you you know crazy. Insane are words that don't actually mean very much but that was how I perceived things. That was how how I understood things and I think that was something that I struggled with for or a really long. Time is always worrying that I that you know my worries. Were were actually worth worrying about a nobody else was worrying too. I didn't want the responsibility. The worries took on physical symptoms as well. I always had a nervous stomach like I was a head problem a headache things like that and so yeah so I was I was but I also think that a lot of my anxiety I think in some ways my anxiety and my ocd kind of made it made made me a better actor when I was a child because I had a really vivid imagination so I could tap into emotions and memories very very easily and I I was very sensitive and I would feel sorry for people and so like I could cry on command and it was great and I never once used that to get out of trouble in real life because it felt different I I was. I was compulsively only honest in real life but I was. I really lose myself. In in a role I also I also used to like tend to get like words and phrases and things stuck in my head and because of that I got really good at memorizing lines because I would think about the way that things needed to be said and the rhythm of it and I could get that that second my head real easily was acting a respite from the anxiety was a way of addressing it like treating it. Almost I think in some ways it was. I think that that me performing was but I do think and I do think that being on sets was kind of it was it was Kinda hard though because it's so broken up it's not like on stage stage where you get this rush for an hour or two when you're on on the stage but you get you so it's it's broken up you get it. Only you know a couple of minutes at a time and sometimes it feels feels hard to get really invested and I think that as I got older I had more of a my my anxiety manifested as a control freak side so I think that I would get kind kind of frustrated onset sometimes especially ones where I didn't have a lot of creative control and those were a lot of the time because he was going to create a control to a child at age six six Mara appeared in Mrs Doubtfire Robin Williams that success led quickly to other TV and movie parts the remake of miracle on thirty Fourth Street Melrose Place Ace and then a pretty special part came along. My mom actually used to read Mathilde to my brother's classes like my brother's English classes says when they were I think it may be like fourth grade and I remember once I was. I was a little under the weather I was I was I was sick a lot with a lot of really minor stuff when I was a kid in an era or something and she took me with her to the school and just set me up on a little blanket in the back of the class but I was old enough to be able to listen to it and and and listening to my mom play the trouble and playing the part of this really smart little girl who was outsmarting her all of the time that was something it was it was like one of my favorite things this from the very beginning one of my favorite stories I I loved it and so so I I really that character was somebody I had this like image of who she was in my head and and felt almost as if she existed somewhere so when I when I got the script I mean I remember I remember asking if it was like the book and my mom said yes and what had happened was my agent had called and this was when things were kind of snowballing. May agent was like we've got so many scripts about this one. We've got this when we got this one. We've got Mathilde but I passed on that. One and mom was like don't pass on that don't pass on that send that to send us and and she sent it to us and I loved reading it and and it was it was a great script in nineteen. ninety-five Mars mother Susie Wilson was diagnosed with breast cancer. Just before filming started on Matilda. There is so much going on in my family at the time my dad had a fulltime job in addition to taking care of my mother and we were promoting a film and I had four other siblings to take care of and there was so so much going on that it felt like if there wasn't time for me to be having a breakdown the way that I was I wanna make sure you caught something in there and I had four other siblings to take care of. She says she had to take care of them. Mara was the second youngest of five kids Mars talking about something that happened when she was seven years old Mara had developed obsessive compulsive disorder when her mom got sick. You can't walk on that place. You can't walk on that crack on the sidewalk. You have to jump over the door frames. You have to duck your head under this line in the doorway before for you before you cross or else you'll you'll feel like your head has been chopped off or something like that. Even though I knew it wasn't going to happen so there was a lot of there are a lot of times where I would run across the house and I would would and I would like be doing these tours towards your ties across the living room floor because I was afraid to step on certain cracks or you know compulsions our actions their things. They're things that you do and you know I would take multiple showers a day. I take two a day and then I would kind of sponge bath when I came home and that was usually what it is and once yes. I remember actually taking three or four a day. My parents were like my family was like this is excessive. You really shouldn't be doing that and I felt really. I felt weirdly ashamed but I didn't really know what to to do. About it. In the handwashing was the big thing for you to it was yeah I would I would wash my hands so much and I I carry hand sanitizer. All of the time I once went through a bottle of hand sanitizer Kaiser in an evening just because I felt like my hands weren't clean off and and I just needed to put it on more and more and more and yeah and they were there was my hands were always read and chapped and bleeding and they always hurt and we would put appointments and creams and all kinds of things on them but nothing would work they we're always always red and swollen and chapped and bleeding and dry and it hurt so much but but I didn't really know what else to I do so there was there was that was that was something that I really those were compulsions that I really struggled with compulsions compulsions our actions there are other things too like saying certain things or not saying certain things or if I sang this song I would have a good day saying this one. I would have a bad day sort looking for patterns and everything I had good numbers and bad numbers. I was number five was bad than it was. The number eight was bad those. OCD symptoms were happening all through the filming wing of Mathilde when you watch that movie that's what's going on with that. Young actor Mathilde is kind of a modern classic confident kid with magic power sticks it to the people who tried to hold her down but despite what was going on with her mental health Mara remembers the shoot fondly she says Danny Devito who directed and starred in Mathilde was tremendously caring as was his wife Rhea Perlman who acted in the movie Suzie Wilson died between the time shooting was completed and the film's release Matilda's Hilda's dedicated to her. It was after that it was a few months after we stopped filming. I think not too long after that I started having the really bad anxiety attacks and of course when my mother died stressed I mean it's it was just a haze of grief and anxiety and misery and I can't even really explain it very well because there's a lot of it that I can't really remember the anxiety was spiking and the OCD got worse too and it's still there. Mara understands it a lot better now as as I got older and and as I got more treatment it became more about obsessions and and obsessions or these sort of the intrusive thoughts that get stuck in your head Ed. What if something terrible happens what if I do something terrible and that kind of getting stuck in your head and you sort of wrestling around with it. That is something more that I have now you know what if I would if I say something awful a friend of mine. What if I hurt their feelings. What if I do something something stupid and terrible. What if I jump off a building what if I I yeah what if I heard somebody and there's also a lot of misunderstanding about what OCD is so people will say. I have thoughts that I'm going to kill myself. I have thoughts that I'm going to hurt my husband. I have thoughts that I'm going to molest child. I have thoughts that I'm going to set fire to a building and people will be like. Oh that person's an arsonist and it's like no they're not. They're not an arsonist or not a child molester. They're not a war criminal. It's just that these are thoughts that stuck in their head intrusive thoughts that start to loop yes exactly and the very fact that they are afraid of them that they don't like take them. That is something I think that shows that they're not going to do these things people with. OCD Don't do these things so it's it's. I think really I think that's That's something that people kind of don't really want to be don't really understand. Don't really WANNA face. feel like there's a few people out there like. I Know Maria Bamford talks about out like what if I'm you know what I'm Jenna cider and and you know what if I have to go to genocide jail and then a genocide everybody in the jail. There are people who talk about it but but it's still kind of it's still kind of pushed off to the side. It's still very misunderstood. So this point Mara Wilson had been experiencing an anxiety disorder for years had a worsening obsessive compulsive disorder. She lost her mother and she had starred in five movies. She was not yet ten years years old more in a moment the hilarious world of depression is supported by health partners by make it okay dot org make it okay is a campaign came to start conversations and stop the stigma surrounding mental illnesses not just depression all kinds of mental illnesses. We enjoy having some laughs on this show. It's a way of dealing dealing with depression away of demystifying it a little bit making not so scary but let's not kid ourselves. This is a serious illness. The good news is that people can and do recover people get help and that's why we need to make it okay to talk. Openly it can be an awkward conversation. Yes but make it okay. Dot Org is full of information information. You can use what to say what not to say stories from people who tell you what it's like to live with depression anxiety and other mental illnesses go to make it okay dot org where you can take the pledge to make it okay thanks so much to health partners and to make it okay for joining us in fighting stigma so we can all get better back with Mara. Wilson when last we left her who she had been through a lot in her life in our mind in in her career soon after Mars mother died off to shoot a film called a simple wish she plays a girl who tries to get her fairy godmother played by Martin Short to help a per dad. Get the lead in a Broadway musical. Oh yeah unbelievable can't even admit it what that you blew it. You totally screwed my wish did to not wasn't the smash hit that say Matilda was. I was in such a bad place that for for a long time. I didn't like to think about filming simple wish because I feel like I behaved really poorly on that set. I I think that I behaved very Bradley and and I feel awful about that and there's a lot that I don't remember from it but I also very fortunate because I was working with Michael Ritchie who was really truly wonderful. Man Who's the director yes. He was a director he directed bad news bears and a lot of like seventies and eighties you know classic movies and he knew how to work with kids he understood stood kids really well and he had he had some wonderful children as well who are about my age who I played with and sometimes I think back and I think like the moments that I spent with his family or with his kids that summer and and the sort of brief respite from from you know from from just the the overwhelming overwhelming misery I was failing and so it was hard. It's it's really bittersweet memory for me. I think working on that film and my anxiety kind of when on and off for a really long time and things would trigger it like like we would be you know we would have a nanny and I would get really close to her and then she would leave and and I would get really depressed after that you talk about how your ashamed of how bratty you were but you just lost your mom yeah and I mean I was as I was filming on that set with an extended family member not somebody in my immediate family but but my chaperon guardian for for that most of the time was somebody my extended family who was not very nice and was very much suffering loss of my mother as well and and so I think that that just kind of made everything worse like I was much worse when I was around that person and they they were guardian but they were. You're acting just as immature if not more so than I was and so. I think that that was really I really there wasn't really much. I could do you and I I. I do think now there's a lot of people that I wanNA reach out to. There's there's friends that I would refuse to see because because they'd set off my anxiety and some why why and and I'm still I still feel deeply ashamed and wish I could explain to them what was going on and in my experience I recently reconnected with with Francis Capra who what played my who played my brother and his symbol wish and and we had this talk and I told him I'm sorry I was going through so much stuff at that age and because as we had this sort of love hate relationship and it was kind of brother brother sisterly actually and I remember I was too you know I was. I was a show off. I was this and that and I told him I was like I was like. I'm I'm really sorry and I wish that things had been a little easier for both of us and he was like and he was like yeah but you know I'm always gonNA love. You is my sister and I was like an an love. You is my brother to like it was it was really it felt so nice to to have people be like no you were going through things. Things are fine understanding that and I also reconnected with with Michael Ritchie who unfortunately passed away his family every connected with his daughters and they they were so welcoming in so forgiving and have so many happy memories of the times we spent together that it really reminds me that maybe I wasn't as bad as I thought I was. Maybe you may be other. People understand that I think is something that makes me want to tell other people out there mental illness it. It's it's it's not an excuse but it is an explanation sure and that I think is is something important and I think people people are going to be far more understanding than you think so on this season season of our show were trying to shed some light on the conditions that go along with depression. Depression is rarely a solo artist. It's usually part of a band that was the case with Mara Wilson to depression kind of came as like and it always has been sort of almost like a side effect of my ocd just because it's so draining exhausting Austin but I mean I had I had ptsd and I had I had depression when my mother died and and depression is kind of different for me for me. I think that a lot of things usually kind of manifest anxiety but but depression has kind of always also come and gone and with me. It's it's usually it's usually caused by some kind of outside force or complicated by it. I don't think I ever just had depression the way the that a lot of people do but yeah it would. It would probably happen around the same time that everything else happened. Mars movie career wound down and her assorted mental health issues held hold on and then it was time for middle school middle school lockers social cliques mental health issues. It got really bad. I I think when I was in middle school and that is when I actually that is eventually when I got treatment but it would it would wax and wane. There'd be days and weeks. Where would you be totally fine and then there would be days weeks where I could not function and and my my quirks Kinda changed and my compulsions would change change and I think that it is true that a lot of children when they're that sort of concrete operational stage like seven to ten years old. They get really anxious about things yes but I remember thinking to myself like I'm in middle school now and I'm still scared. Am I going to be this scared. When I'm thirty years old. Am I going to be the scared forever. Should I even live. Should I even live anymore. Should I kill myself. which is I mean to to imagine now like eleven or twelve year old? I know saying that to themselves chiefs. It's heartbreaking and I think that I didn't really realize how sad at all was you know when I was writing when I was reading my book. There's a chapter about OCD in my book. There's an essay about it and I I look back on when I was writing that I broke down crying because I was finally really seeing my experiences as that of a little girl going through something really difficult as opposed to just something that happened to me in the past and yeah it was difficult but whatever and it wasn't special movie star Middle School it was like the same sometimes horrible places that you and I went to middle school because my parents wanted me to be normal and I wanted to be normal. I I think that there was there was a little bit of this not like not like the. I'm not like the other child actors kind of thing where it was like. Do you need to better behaved you need to there's a lot of pressure on me but also like. I said I had I had really bad imposter syndrome. I didn't take much pride on the things that I I did did and when people would congratulate me or it would recognize me on the street. I would be like I'd be like what are you recognising me for it. It didn't feel like anything big big to me and I think that's partly because my parents wanted to keep me down to earth and also because I grew up in a place where being a child actor was normal. A lot of my friends were child actors. We saw some of them went to my school. Some of them were home schooled but we did like charity work together and and it was just kind of like there were people that that knew and understood around around me and I I didn't really feel like it was the biggest deal and you did actually get competit- competitions sometimes like I was in children's movies so I was teased at school because the stuff I was was babyish but the kids who were in gap ads and were models. They were the cool ones school. Your Matilda older doesn't that count for anything well yeah. I it mostly meant that people would matilda and turned around run around the corner so that they didn't see me them calling me that at like that was that was something that happened a lot. Do People Still Shout Mathilde you just on the street sometimes sometimes now now. I'm like now. I don't fight it now. I like turnaround. I'm just like whatever respond to it. I mean it was hard for me. Also it's hard for when you know when you know who you don't know who you are because because I mean most people don't know who they are when they're when they're you know going through adolescence but I especially didn't know who I was because I'd spent so my life being other people and I felt like I was being mistaken aching for Matilda and I I didn't really feel worthy of that because I felt like Matilda was much smarter much braver than I was and I felt like if anybody ever really knew the real may who is who who is scared and angry and sad all of the time they wouldn't want anything to do with me so so I struggled with that for a really long time I felt kind of like I was was living in Matilda's shadow. I read a quote recently from Carrie Fisher who said that she's to struggle with the idea princess Leia but she feels like the two of them kind of became one over time and I that's kind of how I feel too like I feel like like I've accepted Matilda's as this sort of archetypal role model for myself and somebody that I want to try to pay tribute to and to respect and and I mean I think about this all the time with people who play like really like like like people who play leg like superheroes. I'm like do people really think you're superman or your captain. Marvel your Captain America or Batman or whatever like. Do you feel like you need to live up to that. What do you feel like because because I definitely feel like I need to live up to Matilda and and you know when you're a child and you're trying to you need to make mistakes and you wanna be able to grow and and you feel like you can't because you're always put on this pedestal. That's really really hard. I also think it's probably why the a lot of like the the first people I dated for either child child actors or had never seen Matilda. Do you think your mental health would have been any different today. Had you never gone into acting and all yes I think it would be. I think that from a practical standpoint I think that I'm I'm very privileged because it allowed me to go to a boarding school for the visual performing arts that I really loved. It allowed me to go to a very expensive university. where I I had I was in a wonderful program player. That's rising Cedar School and it allowed me to you know when I was struggling through the the recession to to at least have a cushion there I mean I'm not I'm I'm. I'm not a billionaire and I'm never going to be I don't. I don't like the idea of billionaires but I'm not super wealthy. I'm not any of these things but I I am able to have a life for for myself on on my terms whereas a lot of people I know are not but I do also think there's other things that I mean. I do think like my body just morphine. would be would be less of an issue if I if I hadn't been in Hollywood because I wouldn't have been judging myself against what critics said and what media people said and and what press people said and what random strangers on the internet said because nobody would know what I looked like I would. I would just be you know I would be just a normal average. Looking person wouldn't be disappointing to people that I'm not a supermodel you know and that's something that whereas now like I feel like I'm meet people sometimes and you know they just see me out and about in a regular day they're disappointed that I'm not tall and beautiful and all of these things that I that I look just like an average person and and I feel like I'm disappointing in them and that makes me sad because my appearances is my business and also like I'm a lot of other things. Why do I have to be a naturally beautiful too. That's not eh that's not. That's not what I do. That's not what I have to be and I think everybody has a past like that. Everybody's like this terrible thing happened and I'm sad that it happened but at least it made me a stronger person or at least it made me a little bit more wise about the world or things like that. That's that's something you know something. I encounter a lot with other women who lost their mothers or other other people who've been through it anxiety or trauma or something like that they wouldn't ever want to go through it again but they're glad for the things that it taught them. Maher grew up and turned her focus from acting to writing as evidenced by her memoir. Where am I now true. Stories of girlhood and accidental fame entered twitter handle at Mara rights stuff. She's found good therapy and good mental health practices. She manages manages her mental health but she's not cured. She didn't simply grow out of it. That's not how mental health works and the grief of her mother's death the trauma the still weather I mean I've heard of that analogy or that that that allegory of of it's a ball in a box and there's a ball bouncing around a box and there's there's a there's a button on it and the ball is going to press that button and at first the ball is in a very small box and then the box gets bigger and bigger and bigger so there's more our space for it to jump around but it's it's going to hit that button sometimes yeah and when and when grief yeah and when grief is and this isn't me this is like somebody's therapist esten done and who said it might be posted on twitter instagram or something but it's it's and that's the thing when it's at first it's just feels like that ball's constantly early pressing that button and then it gets a little bigger and bigger and bigger but you also don't know the thing about grief. Is You don't know what's going to sneak up on you like a couple of months ago. I I started crying because I missed my grandfather died when I was thirteen or just think about my mother and get caught up in that even though a lot of the time I can't think of her and and and not be sad. It's it's very odd and so I think but yeah these. These aren't things that's just not the way that it works. You know it's it's always with you. It's something you carry with you. All the time. Mara Wilson is thirty two now and with age. If we're fortunate and work hard comes wisdom mm-hmm she's learned about factors were in play when it came to her mental health. I also know that my mother had come from a family with a lot a lot of of you know inherited Ashkenazi Jewish trauma and a lot of mental illness in response to that and I think she might have. She didn't probably didn't want to believe that I I was sick. The way that a lot of people in her family had been two zero CD and her family. I don't know if there was I mean on the other side of the family we have we we have a lot of we have a lot of trauma and sad stories from Ireland sure so a lot of a lot of poverty and depression on that side of the family and and a lot of have a lot of on the other side of the family is a lot of bipolar disorder and things like that so a lot of mood disorders and such and a lot of a lot of people it kind of being told to get over it and and having to to just kind of get through things and then it all kind of coming up later you know trauma traumas was inherited. It's it's a difficult thing and so and probably I. I do feel like probably the things that kept my Jewish ancestors alive back in the old country. You know being on edge all the time that kind of stuff yeah it it doesn't it doesn't really when you're when you're in a place in a country. That's that's slightly more safe. Although I would say that's debatable these days but feeling like you are the same way that you know your great great grandmother did when she was facing pogroms and things like that it's it's the same kinds of survival skills. I think that manifest anxiety that's that's something that I believe. I don't know if that's based in in reality but that's that's a hypothesis that I have. I think it is because trauma gets handed down in in that sort of I better run away and protect myself for. I better anticipate the worst possible way. This could go those. Is that one point in either. A person's life for an a person's family have had been very useful skills. You know he really those come in very very handy. It's just the you can't stop when it's no longer that much of an emergency yet while you know a lot of the most anxious people on my family are really really great emergencies. I bet my sister is is pretty anxious to and she's worked as a live in caretaker for an elderly woman with dementia and she she takes care of her so well and when there's any kind of health issue she is just just just totally takes care of it is very good and very relaxed and very able to do that but then on a normal day you know she and I we'll both be really anxious about something. I'll have to remind her like you're doing something. That's really scary. That's really hard to do that can involve a lot of emergencies and you do it really well. I have to remind signed her of that and and that she has that gift and I think that that's something that a lot of anxious people have I mean I've known a lot of anxious people who worked as EMT's or emergency room doctors or things like that adore. I know one guy who does who does like a psych admitted at Ers and you know they're all very anxious people but when it comes right down onto it it's almost as if when an emergency happens they're stepping up and going okay. This is what I've been preparing for all of my life right my my metabolism is already up here so exactly it. Just drop me in today. Mar does all kinds of things even a little acting. She appears on the podcast. Welcome to Night Vale as the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home. She plays a spider on Bo Jack Horsemen and here she is on big hero six the series as a tech billionaire. Leeann Erica cigarettes is just another biotech company. Mother Nature is an artist and I see myself as her protege studying and even improving on her work inspired inspiring. I favor a holistic approach. Tomorrow says she's open to doing more acting work. She likes acting but she's unwilling to throw herself into the profession as her. The only thing I think that being an acting again would would kind of destroy me it would kind of make me miserable and and I think that that's something that people don't really realize realizes. I don't WanNa do that again. I don't want to have to put myself through that constant rejection. You know that constant rejection didn't matter to me when I was a child and it wouldn't be paying my bills but but but getting that concert Jackson now would be really frustrating and and really upsetting and I don't like the idea of having to change who I am too much you know I don't don't like the idea of having to have a ton of cosmetic surgery or having always lose weight for a role and having always do this and having always do that and an end change myself i. I don't want that to be a thing so so. I think that it's it's better for my mental health if I don't you. The hilarious world of depression is a production of American public media producer Chrissy Peas Christina Lopez is our producer for for digital things we all kind of edit the show but Philip Fletcher is our editor does that make sense and we're a team now a recording engineer this time around was John and Miller our technical director Corey Shrill our theme song was written and performed by Rhett Miller if you need help confidential help is available at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline nine one eight hundred two seven three eight two five five. It's free twenty four hours a day. Seven days a week. One eight hundred two seven three eighty two fifty five the hilarious world of depression is supported by health partners and make it okay dot org make it okay is a campaign to start conversations and stop the stigma around mental illnesses. Make It okay dot. Org has information that can help you and your loved ones. Starting a conversation on this topic can be awkward but make it okay has tips on what to say and what what not to say stories of hope from people who have been there you can take the pledge to make it okay and make it okay dot. Org hilarious World Dot Org our web home. We're also on twitter and come visit us on facebook a lot of great conversation. They're happening with your fellow. Wad Balls on our next episode author and Blogger Heather b the Armstrong nearly dies on purpose with the help of doctors in order to feel better and she does feel better. Ask for help all the time. Now it's hard. It's work on constantly but I do find myself going please how the word sort of like tremble as they come out of Mighty House. I'm John Mel by now says duck. That's the problem phone. Tell you are big. Just show to tell you this. Greece arm a whole k say it as so said Tom something down sad craft. Tell me something I don't know

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19: As Mara Wilson

As Me with Sinéad

34:25 min | 8 months ago

19: As Mara Wilson

"Hello and welcome to this week's as me. I have the incredible honor each week of greeting you as you gear up to hear about what it's like to be somebody else. I would really love if you shared some of your reflections with. I probably shouldn't tell you this I read your reviews religiously so leave when they're or whatever podcast APP you use or email us your thoughts that hey at lemonade. Amelia COP Panky my hope business as you're listening to each of our guests describe what it's like to be then in their respective body and mind you're thinking about your own experiences. What's it's the same? What's the difference? What have I learned about my body and mind and what it's like to walk through the world as someone else on that note I went to La and got a chance to be in a very tiny studio with our guest this week? Mara wills many of you might know her from Mrs Mrs Doubtfire More Mathilde or miracle on thirty Fourth Street. She's all grown up and as an actress voice actress an incredibly powerful writer and speaking of being a writer. The episode this week is sponsored partially by audible and you can read one of Marez those beautiful books right there on audible. It's called. Where am I now? And Mara herself narrates it. which is one of my favorite things about audible as a podcast host? I am joy bringing good things and good people to your ears so audible is really such a natural fit and natural sponsor for my shop. I've just finished just listening to Jia Tolentino trick mare which is narrated by Jia herself and really brings such depth to horizon. It's perfect for my many any journeys on public transport with audible. You can download titles and listen online anytime anywhere including bookstores aren't accessible to you. The APP is free it can be installed on smartphones and tablets. You can even listen across devices without losing your spot. And every month or of all subscribers get one credit any title to audible originals from a monthly selection along with access to Daily News Digest like The New York Times or The Wall Street Journal and guided Meditation Programs. Don't wait any longer start listening to thousands of titles right now for your free trial visit audible dot com slash as me or text as me to five hundred five hundred that's audible dot com slash as me a s M or takes as me to five hundred eight five hundred and it includes Mars. Incredible book the Bet moving from being a childhood actress to the adult. Mara I read this quote a couple months ago. From from Carrie Fisher where she said that she hasn't always but she really does love Princess Leia and she feels like she looks up to her and she says we've kind of merged over the years I and I read that and I was like yes. That is exactly how I feel because in some ways I have always looked up to Matilda and I have always you know when I was a very very young child reading the book and and so she and I kind of had to merge away and I mean we believe in a lot of the same things and leave value education we value speaking up and we value believing in yourself and take something and doing something for for the marginalized for the oppress so without further. Ado as you listen or read this episode transcript picturesque Earth together in the tiniest studio imaginable in the middle of Hollywood. Are you ready. Let's go welcome to as me with Sinead on today's episode. I am joined by somebody who who was as odd as it sounds such a prominent feature of my childhood and has evolved into a voice and a writer that I'm inspired heard admiring of in such tragedies. I'm joined and sitting across me is the extraordinary Mara Wilson Merit. Thank you so much for trekking all the way into the studio today for this conversation. Thank you Montigny here. How do you describe yourself personally and professionally? Oh okay as a person Let's see I would say pragmatic. Yeah I am very practical. And I'm very much obsessed with the mundane. I think that everyday life is really fascinating and really weird and we take it for granted. My father was an engineer near and I feel like that engineer brain that kind of makes you stop and fixate on a little things but also just wants things to be you know just right and efficient that kind of got into me. Ah So I I always thought like I was my mother's child because I'm loud and talkative and performing of and you know quick tempered and short the way that my mother is a look just like Kerr and I was like. Oh my mother's child but I do have my dad's way of kind of looking at things I think so I I always say I'm half Jewish half engineer So that's how I would explain myself. Personally I think also neurotic an anxious. I think that a lot about me make sense when you keep in mind that I am nervous. All of the time and and I'm just a naturally anxious person that I've kind of Come to embrace that professionally. I would say I'm a former child actor. I am a writer. I didn't describe myself actor for a long time now but I do voice acting and every now and then I'll do face acting or stage acting too so I guess writer and actor kind of works or I'll say just writer and voiceover voiceover actor but every now and then all appear in something so you know just mentioned it. Yeah and it's you know I don't I mean I feel most happy like on a Mike and behind the scenes but I like being a part of things like I'm never going to be Meryl Streep I'm never going to be Jennifer Lawrence. I'm never going to be these actors out there because I don't want to be and also I don't really fit the image image of what these people should look like and I'm obviously not that great of an actor compared to all of these people but every now and then I will act something. People will be like. Hey what gives it that you gave up acting and I'm like I just like being a part of something telling stories exactly. Yeah I like being on sets I like working with people I like being in the thick of things and feeling like I'm part of a team mm-hmm I mean as we were discussing. I have a big family as you do. And there's very much this feeling five five yes and I think that might be something that it You know I had three older brothers. I wanted to be included. I'm the eldest so I think they understand the importance of individuality. 'cause I two years just being me And then obviously I disappointed my other four. Make sure is okay. And that idea that we're like we're we're a collective. We almost need this group collective noun in order to describe this but there's seven and a half years between me and my youngest so we're very very close in age which is both destructive. Yeah the most amazing amazing part of my life. And how did that manifest for us. The chocolate three older brothers I hated being left out and I hated feeling like I was little and I was lucky. My brothers were nice to me like we fought like all siblings. Do but I'm close with my brothers. I've always loved him very much but I was always worried I would get left behind. I was always worried. Get left out and I think that gave me a very strong feeling of like hating when people are excluded hating when people feel left out. I definitely think that was part of it and I liked being the little sister for a while but like as long as I could remember I either had had or wanted a little sister and I remember telling my parents that I would be okay if they ended up having a little brother to but I really wanNA sister and I used to think that I was like the reason that my sister was born in like like my wishes made it come true. Yeah Yeah right exactly. Hey But yeah I remember there like one or two moments where I was a little jealous but mostly I was like nope I like this. I'm happy with this. Was it part of wanting to be like your older brother or was it the love of storytelling that I that you interested in kind of acting or was it much more serendipitous hypnotise I love storytelling. I just it was what I wanted to do. One of my brothers found like a recording of me a couple years ago where I'm singing in the background around. And I'm I'm just like singing this epic poem about like Princess and what her life is like and all of these things and it's just this tiny voice in the background and I was always making up stories about everything and I think that it got to the point. Apparently where like my brothers. Every time I would start a story they would go. Oh good story. Good Story and start clapping because otherwise it would last all day. They would never end so I did that but I think I mean. I grew up in an area. Where a lot of I grew up over in Burbank and a lot of there's a lot of child actors? There's there's there's a lot of actors in general there. I think I saw what they were doing. And I saw like what my brother was doing. And I kind of put it together that this was very similar to what I liked to-do and the performance of the yes performance aspect of it. I remember I had a teacher who was a dancer and choreographer in college. And she said that she she knew she was meant to be a choreographer when she thought back to how when she was a child she would line up all of her stuffed animals and show them how to dance and Mesa. Yeah and that that made her think like Oh yeah. Maybe it's not so much dancing. Maybe it's choreography. Do you have any. Yeah I think I did. I mean I think that I've always I've always been like I just need to tell stories. I I just always need to tell stories and people would ask me when I was a kid. Like what do you want to be. When you grow up do you want to be an actor and I would be like I don't know maybe but I know I want to be a writer? I always knew I wanted hard to be a writer so that was. That was very much something that I I knew from the very beginning. I knew I wanted to write books and I would make up stories and I would do things like I used to make like little miniature books for like science for the tooth fairy or for my dolls or something like that I would make little miniature magazines and I would tell my sister stories stories and I would tell. Her story is based on like our cats are hamster or something like that and lose interest in photographing your book again. Like lying on the floor is supposedly salie minding your sister. WHO's like yeah one at the time writing in a book yet? Not Aware of what's going on. I wonder I'm like I'm like I remember my favorite everything. My absolute favorite thing was when they would give us a free right exercise where they were like you have to write a story. You can read any kind of story you want and I was just like this is what I was made for. Yeah I wrote one about like there was one called Wia Hate Wednesdays or something like that and it was. It was like this kid every Wednesday weird things happen and I remember. I wrote another one about a girl who's a fairy godmother who came down to Earth and I was like eleven or twelve when I wrote this but then ended. Did it fall in love with the person that she was supposed to set up with. Somebody and I think actually I remember reading a couple years ago that like somebody I knew sold a story that was very similar to that to like back to what you know about it i. I haven't told anybody about it but she. She ended up selling a story that was very similar to that. And I'm just like Oh yeah I I had that idea you do what I was And there was one that was a cinderella from like a teenage boys point of view where he was kind of the Cinderella character because we were doing the whole unit on Cinderella's and stories across cultures and I remember The last page my teacher wrote like all capitols. You are terrific writer keep it up laugh so much it really did it really did I mean obviously I'm still thinking about it now. I'm actually still close with my like the teacher that I had when I was thirteen. And I'm close with their daughter now too and she kept telling me she's like you need to be gifted writing classes. You need to be an honors writing. You need to be on all these classes because you really are a very good writer and when my book came out I invited her to launch and She showed up and like had tears in her eyes. And Yeah it was. It was incredible. She flew from Texas to New York for it. It was really nice. Did you believe in yourself a writer before then I did but I like. I said I'm always very nervous. And I'm always flipped out I'm very doubting person. I think I doubt myself I doubt everything around. May I don't know if that's because I have. OCD which is sometimes called the doubting disease. I think it's just in my nature to sort of second. Guess everything and not trust the world around May and I. It's funny because like I had a childhood with ups and downs but leg I I always like had food and was loved. You know but for some reason it just always felt to me like I could never be sure of anything like I. I never knew anything for sure. I like to say that it's kind of like. I grew up near the San Andreas fault earthquake. Fault and and tonic plates nights could always shift exactly and I have sort of allegorical relationship with headline things can shifted anytime So yeah that present when you were a child in your onset some and films is that always been something. That's part of you heightened. Yeah I think so I think so I think in some ways of being an actor sort of exacerbated it and in some ways I think it was good for at right so being very structured environment and I really liked that. I think that could be good for me but it was hard for me to go back to school and be in something that was structured in a completely different way away and not having marrying the two and then trying to find friends and connect again and yeah thirteen of. Yeah I I always had. I didn't have trouble making friends as a kid but I always had trouble keeping friends. That was something that I noticed because my experiences were different from them than they would have different memories of things of times and I wasn't there and that could be really hard. It's more after the break shoes. Make the effort. And it's not easy easy for me to find a pair of fabulous shoes that fits and that don't require me to leave my house in order to buy the you've heard me talk about it before. But one of my new favorite companies companies Israelis. They are making style shoes for women and for girls at of recycled plastic water bottles. So not only do I get to look good and feel comfortable. 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Oh Mind Body Spirit you think you are I think theatre probably did the most. I did a lot of things in my life backwards. You know now like I always joke with people that the reason that I could pay for you know university and things like that was because I I sold out in advance and so I sold out as a child actor and now and then I could pay for my own schooling and such but I feel like I when I was you know going through a period when I was a teenager I wanted to run away from Hollywood. Ali wouldn't do like local theater. That's what I wanted to do. I wanted to do it so much. It was really why because it was terrifying to me and I think that that I have this kind of maybe some like a cat. Obi tendency where I'm drawn to things that I'm terrified of it really felt real to me. My mother was very much into theater and always had been and there were photos of her her performing in plays and we were really into musicals. We would sing to musicals in the car all the time. David Oh my gosh. Now I think I really love of Cabaret I love company. Love assassins growing up. It was my fair lady was yes and I actually just saw my fair lady on Broadway. I yes The it was amazing and Laura Banana was in it and she's fantastic. Named what else do you want. Yes she was. She was beautiful and wonderful and did juicing along to every line of I try not to I try not to. I tried not to and the in on the street where you live. My sister and I Found the actor who originated the heart and the and the revival and we a video of him singing and we used to sing that song like I used to saying that to her when she was a baby and we found a video of this actor singing at an Dan pull it up and it was so beautiful that we like started crying. It's so much to us. That was my favorite that I loved that growing up that story in the music man and I liked a lot of Russian in Hammerstein Mathilde. Yeah yes I thought it was great. I mean the actress played until there was so wonderful and I thought the worm woods were fantastic. tastic they might have been my favorite part although Ms. Hueneme until they were just they were also wonderful but I love about theater for me The cinema but especially theater. It seems to me to be one of those last. Ask spaces where you exist just as you like. Your isn't because you're in the dark. It seems like this intimate experience almost yes hi cast or radio and I think that's what I loved about it. I think that's what scared me but it was like I would always say theater feels more real people would say well. What do you mean you had that connection with an audience and having a good connection with an audience is like like the character yes it is? Yeah exactly and I feel like when I have a good connection with an audience. It's like I'm flirting and it's going really well. Yeah it's thrilling and it's exciting and it's a little bit it terrifying tangible but it's Hanjour feel yeah you can feel that energy back and forth and that is such a good feeling What was the mood like when you went into Tilda? Obviously something that was so much a part of you and yet it's different because the format is strange than perhaps what you were used to fulfill. I'm always going to be partial to our version. The floor is like but like yeah but I do know that. A lot of British people kind of considered it not Canon because they thought it was too Americanized and so I I was like okay. I have to respect that too. You know and I went in and I tried to separate myself from it and be like I'm just going to enjoy this as a story and the thing is though that I was a fan of the story of told Long before and Matilda to me kind of exist like an archetype and because of that I feel like I I'm just kind of paying tribute to her. Yeah you know it's like like she exists somewhere somewhere out there in the multiples or something and I'm just sort of paying tribute to her like I am. I'm playing her the way that like. Yes or like we do The Christmas play or at my school. You know The the poor You know you're like playing Queen Esther or something like that playing these persona that you put on exactly exactly and it's his character that you are but it's a character that's based in sort of mythology and legend and history and all the challenge when it becomes such an iconic character and people people confuse you for them them for you or they assume that that persona is part of you. Well I kind of felt like Matilda was my big sister for awhile. Oil who overshadowing me. Because I mean you have older siblings but I think a lot of us will say you walk into a school and they'll be like oh you're so little sister when my siblings particularly because I was the only one who had a disability really. Yeah you're sinead sister because I was easy and their identity is made invisible and arrays of that which causes friction among us in the way. It shouldn't yeah exactly so. I think that that was definitely a thing that I felt with Mathilde. I felt almost like she was overshadowing. Everybody liked her more than they liked me. You know and Radio Free Kids it was it. It was really hard and so people would call me Matilda and I wouldn't. I wouldn't know what to do and I would just feel. I had this really intense imposter syndrome like I can't I can't I'm not but I do think that like I read this quote a couple of months ago from Carrie Fisher where she said that you know. She hasn't always but she really does. Love Princess Leia and she it feels like she looks up to her and she says we've kind of merged over the years and I read that and I was like yes that is exactly how I feel because in some ways I feel like I do. I have always looked up to hold on. I have always you know from when I was a very very young child reading the book and so she and I kind of have had to merge away and I mean we believe in a lot of the same things and Lavalle you education. We value speaking up. And we value believing in yourself and something yes and doing something for for the marginalized for the oppressed for for you know we like. We have similar values. We have similar beliefs. Yeah exactly are you grateful that those moments happened at side of the era of social media. Yeah I am I definitely am. I do think that in some ways I in many ways it is much much worse now social media but I do think that and I've been talking other child actors about this in some ways. It's better because there is more accountability. You know if somebody is doing something. Terrible onset or fans are being creepy or something like that like adult fans are being treated with children or something like about people will get called out. There's you know they will have footage of it. They will have video footage of it and so it's kind of interesting. It's very scary and strange in some ways but in some ways there's also also a bit more justice I think also opportunity for you perhaps as an individual to have a voice within the exactly. Yeah exactly and I try to. I've been trying to listen a a bit more. I think that it's really important to listen to other people some trying to do that a bit more like on twitter and places like that. I do you practice that skill I just remind myself that. I don't always his need to weigh in on everything that I don't always need to talk about everything. Also that other people aren't always entitled to every story of my life you know every aspect of my life some things. I grew up in very publicly in. The idea of keeping secrets is something. That's still kind of new to me and Gretchen. Most why secrets are pretty boring but a while ago my following my mic like follower count on twitter passed. It passed my hometown population. Okay and then it passed the population of my home town and the town next to it and so now whenever I tweet something I imagine myself standing on the Vertigo Hills Burbank and Glendale with the world's biggest megaphone saying these things and thank. Do I want all of these people in these towns to hear it. What's your draft section on twitter like? Oh God Some of it is just jokes that I couldn't work around a lot of complaints. uh-huh summits photos that I have. I have a line in there that I don't know where it came from or who are was responding to but it's just the line. Oh you're going to get hexed for this one and I'm traffic. Did somebody say that to me did is that that doesn't sound like something I'd say but like it could be a great book title exactly. Yeah I don't tweet about traveling to other cities he's I don't travel. I don't tweet about being on an airplane or if I do. I make sure people don't know where I'm going because I don't want people showing up the airport for me. I had a guy follow around in the Portland Airport asking me to sign things for his daughter. His daughter was one. I'm like I don't think your daughter wants a signed laser disc of MRS doubtfire fire. I'm not sure I'm not sure to throw letter Kim that we'll be back just after this. Break your mental health and fostering a sense of community is a huge priority personal y for the show for many of my audience members there. There's something that interferes with your happiness or is preventing you from achieving your goals. We have a one hundred percent accessible resource for you. Better help online. Counseling Tesla better help offer his licensed professional counselors who specialize in issues such as depression stress relationships grief self esteem and more all the things really. The play goes daily and that we talk about so openly on my podcast. Better health connects you with a professional counselor in a safe and private online environment at your own time and at your own pace from bed from work from wherever you can schedule secure video or phone sessions plus chat and text with your therapist. It's so convenient and anything can you share is confidential. And if you're not happy with your cancer you may request a new one at any time for no additional charge. That's a wonderful opportunity to really find a great fit for you. You Best of all. It's a truly affordable option with financial aid available for those who qualify so. Why not get started today? Go to better help DOT COM SLASH AZMI FILL ETA questionnaire to help them. Assess your needs and get matched with the counselor. You'll love as a special offer for my listeners. Get Ten percent off your first month with the code as me. Don't delay get helped a better help dot com slash Azmi from. What are you curious about at the moment put? Oh let's see I'm very curious in I think the way people talk. That's always been something really interesting to me. The way people talk and how. Oh well I think because I I grew up as valley girl and I would have this. Yeah and I had this valley girl. Accent and is difficult to trace geographically. You're fine yeah yeah you don't you don't sound. I mean you sort of Irish sort of northern England. Sort of. Yeah it's it's a mix. I grew up in a real working class area. Yeah and then moved. I'm kind of more of a countryside. which has an accent where the vowels are very very long and I think it was always really particular and how I pronounced words and I loved reading reading and I'm not sure it's it's difficult to trace now I've heard that there is no one single like baseline Irish dialect? There really isn't there is a baseline general American can dialect there is You know there's received pronunciation in England. There's different Australia accents. But there's like one that's more standard but there isn't yeah there isn't an Irish Irish one people. I don't know I think that that's that's just. I've always had like an ear for dialects and stuff now. I can kind of pick out where people are from and and where they grew up and that has always been interesting to me. It was interesting my fair lady again. Because that's so much what it's about I think is also Tibet classes. Exactly that classism and I think that I think that that's the the way we speak can be cultural capital as well can be respectability. Politics can can lead into some horrible things like that and you know it's the same as all of those social cues that you go into certain rooms and if you don't let's say the right thing you know how to use the cutlery in front of you exactly yeah. That was something that my my parents. Actually my parents made me take Like charm school classes when I was yes because they worried I think they were worried about like me. Saying something that could be misconstrued in interviews or something like that public figure. You should probably do this so yeah I learned how to do. Do I learned how to like. Do the forks and the right silverware and No but we did learn about lengthening your spine and imagine like a string pulls you up up to like stand up a bit straighter doodles makes so much sense. Yeah right right yeah and and I. I was kind of angry about it at the time. I was angry that I had to do it. But I did have My teacher was very nice and she you know she honestly believed it was like no. It's about being the best you can be so that I think was very nice and I do think that it actually helped me a lot with college. Auditions and things like that. Because I knew how to go in there be like hello. My Name's Mara. Wilson is a pleasure to meet you and you know put on my voice and do do these things exactly and yeah it does it does does and I remember in college learning about sociology and Cultural Capital and being like That's what this was exactly and it's funny because people always say you can't buy class no but you can learn how to cook exactly exactly and you and your writing and your work is so focused on speaking truth to power our challenging systems Amplifying different types of voices. I try but what's giving you hope. At the moment I think young people definitely give me hope. I think about my favorite teachers daughter. My sister and I've kind of been mentoring her. She recently moved here. She's very confident and leaves in herself and ends of leaves in her abilities. And that I think gives me a lot of hope. I think that yeah a lot of young people I know are pretty open. You know my nieces and nephews for them like Lgbtq take your rights are just very very simple and just something that they know and they accept and it's not a big deal to them at all. I do have sort of faith and trust in the next generation there are definitely. There's obviously like some struggles in some people who are really having a hard time now but I do think that a lot of them are growing up in a really interesting during world and I don't know I definitely i. I like that. I tend to like the kids and I'm meeting. Who are younger? I don't know if you felt like that being a teacher. Or but yeah. It's his expectation. Now that we can ask a bunch of questions at the same time like. Do you have any food allergies. What are your gender pronouns access needs? Yeah it's the first time. I think that we have been comfortable with exposing ourselves in that way to me. Other people feel a bit more comfortable. It's funny because people will be like. Oh I can't say what I want do these days free speech bubble Blah and I'm like yes of course it's free speech but for me it's more about you know like when we took charm school lessons they said. Hey maybe don't talk about religion because that that might piss somebody off you know that that might that might make someone angry and that's basically just what it is now with being polite you know. Even if you don't agree with somebody what do you do. You don't have to fight for it. You Pick your battles even if you don't agree with somebody you can be like. Okay that's your point and you can go enroll your is like look in the other direction and roll your eyes like we need to we. We need to rediscover ever I rolling. I think just the idea of being like okay. I don't agree with that. But but yeah the idea of being polite or being accessible being like this tremendous burden is is I think ridiculous to me. Maybe that's just because I always feel like like I said like when I have an audience when I friends you know I want them to enjoy themselves. I want them to have a good time. There are people that want to provoke. We want to make people angry. Who Want to do these kinds of things? And I don't think that's me. I do think that every now and then I want to be like. Hey have you seen it. This way. Evocative resident provocative I think tireless. Yeah and and and the thing is too I. Don't I mean like I'm not always the nicest person like. I'm not fake Nice. I'm not like that but I try to be kind and I try to compassionate and and that's another thing too is even if you aren't the naturally nicest people just try to be. That's just try to be some of the time at least come on. This has been such a treat and yes if childhood could have and that she was going to sit across from you particularly character like Matilda. But you're writing now is so much. Please keep going. Thank you for joining in. This has been an absolute bladder on next week's as me. I have a special treat for you. My I live show for asthma. was that the lemonade. Media Launch Party in elect. And we're GONNA have you listened to my conversation with comedian and writer and the very very tall farmer basketball player Trayvon free when when you live in the body of a six foot seven black bisexual from compton very common. It's welcome to this anytime. It is not a a common life in any capacity city and so I find myself constantly running into new experiences and also reshaping environments reshaping people perception perception of every aspect of my identity. This week's person you should do is actually somebody. I have been huge. Admire Rav for well more time than I can measure and I got to meet them in person this week at a BAFTA after party. I know my life. Strange Daniel Lismore describes himself does art personified the way in which he scopes fabric to his body and creates a visual with his person. Hood is striking striking and important. So if you don't know if you haven't watched or listened to his Ted talk firstly go to that and second. Go find him on Instagram instagram. It's apt Daniel this more. It's D. A. N. I. E. L. L. I. S. M. O.. Or at Daniel Lismore Azmi Asmi with Sinead Manado media original and is executive produced by Jessica Cordova Kramer Assistant produced by Claire Jones and edited by Ivan Cure. Music is by Jerome Franken. Our sales and distribution partners Westwood one. If you've liked what you've heard don't be shy. Tell your friends or listen and subscribe on Apple Stitcher spotify or wherever you like to listen and race and review as well enough to continue the conversation. Find me on instagram and twitter at the neighbor and find Lemon Adam media on instagram twitter and facebook Manado Media

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Bonus: Excerpt from "The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home"

Welcome to Night Vale

14:50 min | 8 months ago

Bonus: Excerpt from "The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home"

"Hey Jeffrey Craner here and we have a new novel it is called the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home it is the story of well it's the story of the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home it's a revenge story a horror story and we could not be more excited to finally share it with you. I think it's our best awful yet. Plus the audio book is narrated by our very own Mara Wilson what follows my voice. Here is an excerpt from the book. Read by Night Villes own Mara. Wilson Wilson. Mara is doing the audiobook. BTW AND CHECKOUT WELCOME TONIGHT VILLE DOT COM or listen to our February fifteenth episode to find out all of the dates and locations. Shinzo our book tour hopefully coming to your town maybe we can crash on your couch the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home comes out March twenty fourth but you can pre-order for it right now this second pre ordering is one of the best ways to support authors. You like so do that wherever it is you buy your books. Plus there are signed signed additions available to you just for you check out. WELCOME TONIGHT VILLE DOT com slash books to get those links. Okay here's the first sneak peek of the faceless eisold woman who secretly lives in your Home Cragg Twenty Eleven. I set your shoes on fire. All of them there in the trash can by the rental office. They're still smoldering. The side of the plastic caustic been has melted away in Stuart Department for when three has already made four calls to the super. He didn't answer because I locked him in his bathroom. Because I didn't want the fire put out just yet. It's nice the smell of burning. I used to not like it as it reminded me of a particularly bad moment in my early life but but that was so many years ago and now enjoy the smell of burning burning anything rubber cloth skin and small amounts hair indefinitely hair even would a fireplace on a cool winter night a campfire on a warm summer night a house as a family of four flees. He's leaving behind everything they've ever owned to be consumed by flames plus there's true beauty and black ash quivering around bright orange edges. It's Art Craig. I know you appreciate art. Also the birds are alarmed. And I find that funny you Mr date tonight. Because he couldn't find your shoes which is why I'm telling you now that they're on fire in a quickly melting plastic bin then when you try to rush to a shoe store. Your car wouldn't start because someone broke in Enin jammed glass shards into the ignition. or at least that's what the locksmiths said when she came to investigate the problem. Who Do something like that you you wanted? Her professional opinion she only shrugged and said she'd have to replace the ignition. Switch which would take a couple of days and cost four hundred dollars. I suppose I could have used the a glass shards slash your tires to keep you from your date. It would have been cheaper for you but it wouldn't have been as beautiful. I don't think you notice the perfect arc of blood splatter water across the floor Mat when you cut your hand on the ignition. You screamed in pain ignoring the beauty of your own nature so please take a moment into look out the window by the shower and appreciate the artwork I have created. I call it Craig's impertinence multimedia plastic gasoline and shoes But you're too busy moping even standing in that shower for ten minutes. I know because I'm in here with you a faceless old woman inches from your neck you would feel my breath. If I still breathe I think would be upsetting for you. If you turned around better to let the water run over you better better not to see. You haven't even touched the soap you with traffic. Why because you missed a date with a woman who was pretty and shared similar loves ebbs and seemed genuinely interested in you or because when you want to try to reschedule with her? She accused you of texting her and inappropriate photo. When in fact you did no such thing? You can't hear for me. These are rhetorical questions anyway. I don't need a response. You wouldn't even know how to respond to me after all you don't know I'm here even after that one day a year ago when you pass by the Living Room and half noticed the strange new chandelier hanging from the ceiling the one made from the twisted limbs and neck of an old woman been contorted into a shape like spider and then you thought wait. What did I just see and you backed up to find? The hanging. Woman was gone almost certain she I was never there probably imagined her. I can see why you're upset. The woman did not go on a date with his two. No one wants nice to have a first date. Cancel on them. And then have that same day inexplicably text them a photo of a raccoon having its intestines not out by a coyote. I mean I would want that but I've never really been dating. Although it is true that once I was deeply in love so I can only assume most women would not like that kind of behavior. I forgot to mention. She received a text from you while you were trying to get your car fixed. That included a photo of a coyote devouring raccoon the coyotes for was a glistening. Read about the mouth. It's is golden like a cornfield. The raccoons neck is clearly broken and its organs are pink and grey. I'm sure she was disgusted. But honestly she's made of similar materials. So are you Craig. I'm not sorry. I sent her that photo using your phone own and you shouldn't be either. It was a good photo. A discomforting reminder of snowden secret that man is matter. Did you ever read catch twenty ninety two. It's a funny sad book about moral hypocrisy and self interest. My favorite part is how cold snowden God when is small intestine unraveled from beneath his flack jacket. That's not a spoiler because that book's been out for decades and you should have read it by now plus you can't even hear me you would not enjoyed your date with Giselle. I'm sure but that's not the point. The point is that Giselle wasn't right for you. I know this because I've spent the past three nights in her home while she slept. I've skittered along the hallway. Stare behind her as she climbed and burrowed into her trash to nap among the rotting things. She keeps her possessions quite organized. I I like this about her and made it easier for me to go through her photo albums medical records and diaries. I won't go into specifics because that would be invasive. Have I'm not like that. Giselle keeps a great deal of physical photos. She likes to look through them when she is feeling nostalgic or overwhelmed. I took a crafting knife and carved away the faces from the photos. I only did this to people who are not her parents or grandparents. I think family's important children children are the most important. Have you thought about children. Craig to sell does not seem interested in having children. She wants to go to law school and opened her own firm. She wants to travel a lot too. And you don't want that believe me. I've traveled enough both of us. The world is awful. There's only flesh and illness out there. You'll be fine right here in night. Vale don't worry. We'll find another person to date. They will travel and be selfish selfish and not raise a family. They will never know the joy of raising a handsome gentle smart boy like you and they won't care. That's that's good for them. I'm only saying you don't want that. I know you Craig. I know what is good for you and this would not have been good anyway. That bridges burned now. I suppose along with your shoes. You'll never hear from her again. No I was wrong. She just texted back. You're missing missile. Your brooding in the shower Craig W. F. is wrong with you. She writes you two are done before you ever even got started another text. Please don't contact me again please. Okay what I read. Initially as anger is probably fear. You scared shared her Craig. We scared her. I'm going over to her place now to block your number on her phone so she doesn't have to deal with the emotional devastation of getting some mumbling. Bley apology text from you done. She looks in bad shape. All her lights are out and she sitting on the edge of the couch staring at nothing then for a moment. She saw flicker of me beside her crooked figure with no face and she screamed she so dramatic about everything. You are better off. Maybe this is a bad time to bring this up but you need to pay your credit card bill. It's maxed out and missed the past two due dates and the thing is and this is going to sound selfish because it is but your netflix account cut suspended and I was only halfway through season three of chairs. The laugh track is a bit off putting but it's still a good it show. I really love the plot. Twist norms nagging wife. Faira turns out to have been dead for ten years and norm has kept her memory alive by continuing a fictional narrative about her. Sam and Diane knew that bureau wasn't really alive and that norm was delusional but episode seven. When they go to check in on norm they find him cuddled up next to her decayed corpse and reading her Lord? Byron's the first kiss of love and he's crying. The stench is unbearable but less unbearable than the brutal truth of the moment. My my point is I didn't get to finish watching cheers because you're behind on your credit card payments. I need you to deal with that also. You're wasting water standing in the shower for so long stop rooting. I will run one of my jagged yellow fingernails along the back of your neck your father used to brood. All the time drove your mother crazy. He had a lot of stress and would come home crying. He would sit in his car parked along a curve. A block away just breathing in sobbing breathing breathing. Some more until his eyes and cheeks were clear of their red lines. Your mother thought he had depression. He did not. It's dangerous to do do that to people. You know diagnosed with a mental health condition. If you're not a doctor I secretly live in everyone's home and I have seen people coping APP not coping with depression Russian. Your Father Donald did not have depression. He had a difficult time coming to terms with cancer and eventually his body gave out. Lots of men in your family died young but your father comparatively lived a long life. He got to see his forty day. He got to raise a son. You when you were little he called you big man and then when you grow up and you certainly grew up six three a quarter foot taller than your own dad. By the age of fifteen he called you little guy he loved you and cared for you like the father he never had your paternal grandfather Jacob. ABC died when Your Dad was only seven years old but Jacob had been in a coma for four years before that after the hunting accident that ripped away nearly half of his skull. He was carrying a shotgun carelessly. He tripped and the gun went off as did a good portion of his head. The spray of blood really was beautiful but I. I suspect you wouldn't have appreciated it. Then either people so rarely take the time to appreciate what is around them. Donald wanted you to have a loving father someone to teach you to ride a bike to read to be respectful to others to be creative. He were terrible at Guitar. It to be fair. So was your father but the important thing was that it was something you could be terrible at together and you've always loved music even if you can't play a single instrument donald was a good and giving giving father he loved you having a father. Who loves you so important I know this well? You're watching your diet and and this is good. I want you to be healthy and you are. I took some of your blood the other night while you were sleeping. Sorry I couldn't find a syringe and ended up using a knife from Rome that I've carried with me for a very long time. I took her blood to the night. Ville General Hospital on surreptitiously replaced Harrison. kipps sample your bloodwork. Came back perfect. Perfect apparently this was good news for Harrison to he and his doctor were so amazed at his extraordinarily high haemoglobin. Count came back normal for once. Your father's early death haunts you. I'm sure that's normal and I'm glad you are health conscious because of it. Your father's body body was filled with so many artificial chemicals in carcinogens over the years his cancers and they were money were product personal choices. Not Genetics I'm old older than you can imagine. Probably older than I can imagine and I have met nearly everyone in your family tree going back well over a century century. There's very little cancer there. Rest assured of course you get here. See Me and I'm fine with that because I prefer you stay on your healthy path but really please work at your finances. Pay That credit card. Bill I want you to take care of yourself because I think you're a nice man Craig. I've known you your whole life and and you have a beautiful heart. You Care so much for your friends your family and even the people less fortunate than you. You only had three hundred dollars in your account last Christmas and yet you still donated two hundred Doctors Without Borders. It's hard not to like you Craig. I WanNa help you live a good life. Raise a good family teach your future sons love and respect. His children is what your father would have wanted what all father should want but please the water water in the shower is starting to run cold anyway. The fire trucks just arrived about the pile of burning shoes. Hurry Andrey off so you can see I made for you Craig. I'm not going anywhere. You a part of my story. A story that started more than two hundred years ago on an estate by the sea. It's a long story but don't worry we have so much time still left if you enjoy this excerpt you you can preorder the book now signed editions of the faceless. Old Woman who secretly lives in your home are available to so go to welcome tonight. VILLE DOT COM for links to all of those those things and on February fifteenth. Look for our big Old Book Tour Announcement Starting March Twenty fourth. The book's release date. I'm real excited. y'All and hey thanks.

Art Craig Giselle Mara Wilson Wilson Wilson Donald cancer Jeffrey Craner Stuart Department Craig W. F. depression Jacob Living Room netflix Enin snowden Vale Andrey Ville General Hospital
Start With This: Idea to Execution

Welcome to Night Vale

35:11 min | 1 year ago

Start With This: Idea to Execution

"Hey listeners. I have something very exciting to share with you here. It's the first new podcast Jeffrey, and I have made together since well welcome tonight fail. I'd like to introduce you to start with this the show where you do the writing one simple assignment at a time. Please enjoy this first episode. And if you like it be sure to subscribe to start with this directly to get the rest and don't forget, April twenty-seventh at the Largo in LA for the first time the faceless old woman. Mara Wilson herself will perform a welcome tonight fail live show of her own. Plus brand new Alice isn't dead and within the wires live shows. This will be a one time only night. See you there. Okay. Enjoy the show. Hi, I'm Joseph Fink Jeffrey Craner in. I started the fiction podcast welcome tonight fail seven years ago and have spent those years writing a bunch of things, but in this show, it's you who does the writing one short assignment at a time. Welcome to start with this. Hire as hard starting is heart view on us stock somewhere, you can sire with this. You can start with this. Start with best from idea to execution. Almost everyone working in any creative field has more ideas for projects than they have time left in their life to make those projects, and that can be overwhelming various this constant mental reshuffling of oh, I'd love to do that. But I also have other thing in what if I did this. And if you aren't careful you find you haven't done any of those ideas because you spent too much time worrying about making them, which is why it is important to actually execute ideas. You have regularly whether on a small scale just for yourself publicly after months of work one of the most vital habits develop as a writer podcast her. As an artist of any kind is regularly executing new work from that long. Waiting list of ideas? I'm here with Jeffrey Craner, let's get started. Hi, jeffrey. Hi joseph. Let's talk about the value of regular creation. I love it. I like grading. I like being regular a couple of things I love, and then he put them together, and that's regular creation. Yeah. I think when it comes to regular creation a lot of it has to do with. I was thinking about this last night that kind of any field of anything. There are two things in play one is a natural talent, which is whatever and sort of focuses on. But the other is developing through practice, and there is literally no one who has enough natural talent that they don't also need to develop their practice. And developing a practice is the only thing you have control over. So it never feels worthwhile to worry that much about. How much natural talent you having a thing. Because the thing you have control over is everything requires practice. So just if you practice something you will get better at it. Yeah. I think that's absolutely. Like, you can't you know, we see this in sports all the time where you talk about a guy who has just raw. Talent. I'm like, well, this person definitely has some physical advantages. But this person also has spent a lot of time shooting free throws or throwing a ball or hitting a baseball or doing whatever that definitely has has enhanced that talent there in a gym or practice field constantly in order to be good at that thing. So and they're trying a lot of different things. They're expanding muscle groups, and they're also, you know, learning offense and defensive things you have to be out there constantly. We just don't see that we watch a game. And we're like that guy is just naturally talented. We read a novel, and we're like this guy sat down and wrote this novel straight through all eight thousand words on his own without editing or without many decades of work to home that craft. It's all these things you don't actually see. So it's a little daunting when you're in your room trying to type something you're like, I don't know if this is any good. Yeah. I mean, we kind of build up this thing sometimes artists like writer musician. We'll have a very early work that maybe they never released in they'll be like. I don't want to hear that one. That's not good. No one ever believes them. But I believe them 'cause probably it wasn't that good. Because that just was early on. It was before they practiced their way to the way they are now. So that's one I think value of regular Chretien is it functions as practice functions at practice on whatever are at you're working on the other value. I think is builds kind of confidence builds. Builds artistic muscle memory in that if you just get used to being like, I have an idea I'm going to do something with it. Whether it's a small execution or trying to make it into a larger project. Your brain just starts thinking in that way, it becomes easier and easier every time to start something. Yeah. I think about when I was a lot younger, and I started taking writing classes like, and especially in college where you get creative writing teachers that tell you about finding your voice, and that's such a nebulous thing, especially when you're pretty young as a writer to be like, I don't know what that means. Is this voice is the voice holds up spine, this voice, whatever like that sort of thing. And but yeah, it's once you get into the habit of actually working on something all the time. You're right. It's totally the muscle memory. Your brain starts piecing together words, and phrases, and ideas and structures that you don't have to spend as much time thinking about it's all about all those shortcuts you build you're not thinking about your voice anymore after a certain point because. It just is what it is. I rarely think about what my voice is as a writer anymore. But in my twenties, that's all I thought about but I don't have to think about that as much now. Yeah, I would consciously and this is I think the subject for another another episode. But yeah, I would consciously try to build that voice using various techniques. Yeah. And now. Yeah, it's I never ever think about my voice in does this fit my voice because if it's if I'm writing it it probably does at this point. Yeah, I've had that that muscle memory of artistic execution. The moment where this kind of cracked open for me was when I was thirteen years old. I think this happened. I met have been twelve I used to like pretend I was writing songs. I would like pretend to myself that I was writing a song. And in my pretending. I would have a melody and lyrics that was like the song. I was pretending to write. And I remember one day, sending realizing wait I have. Melody and lyrics. I think maybe I wrote a song, and then I sat down and played it. And I realized oh it did. I think in my head. I had this this idea that I needed to be a songwriter in order to write a song and there needed to be some gateway to step through. And it was that moment that I realized it could just be a very mundane habit that you have that. Oh, I've thought of a melody in this. They don't have to be good. But there are song, and that isn't active of executing on that idea. Yeah. Absolutely. And I I think it's the idea of convincing yourself, and we live in a much better age for this. Now where so many independent creators are making things and putting them out in the world. Obviously podcasting is a great example of that. And YouTube is a really great example of that with tools like soundcloud and wherever else people can post in band camp where you can post your own music. It's a really nice much more welcoming environment where you don't have gatekeepers being like. No, absolutely not or I didn't even bother to reach a book. I threw it in the trash and I sorry. About saying that. Yeah. I think that I think that one of the great things is is that you can put something out there into the world much more easily than we could ten twenty thirty years ago. I think the real difficult part is the idea of convincing yourself that you are executing something like how you convince yourself that you actually are writing a song or that you're allowed to even write a song. I think is that next step to say at least from my experience of being able to say, oh, yeah. I can do this. This is the thing that I'm allowed to make and put into the world. Yeah. That leads to another question, which is just often if you are thinking about an idea, you are working on it in some sense. You're kind of building out in your head. And you'll be like there will be this. And there will be this, and that's working on that idea. But it doesn't feel like it. It feels the same way that I was pretending to write a song you're pretending to work on this idea is kind of how it feels. And so a lot of this is just allowing yourself to call it that allowing yourself being like I'm going to sit down and mindfully plan this out, and this is me working on this idea. And a lot of it is what you're already doing. It's just allowing yourself to call it what it is. And I think sometimes it's very helpful to be unencumbered by specific training when it comes to artists, obviously, you do want some level of. Training you need to train yourself by consuming. Whatever it is that you're trying to make if you're not reading books you're going to be a bad writer, if you're not listening to music, you're going to be a bad composer. But that being said, I think there's a lot of really amazing things that come out of independent art creation of people who find a different way to approach the tar, you know, as a kid, I listened to a lot of Jerry Reed country issue singer. And anyways was Jerry Reed was noted for his claw the way he played the Qatar with a claw hand like it's completely terrible technique, but he was self taught and he became this an amazing guitar player by clawing the guitar strings. With like a balled up fists, and it was really phenomenal. It's really cool to watch him play. And I think that sometimes when you come at it independently you bring your own fresh voice to something. And that's one of the great things about being able to execute things in this day and age when you don't have to get signed to a record label to put your music out there and just knowing that some of it will miss, but I think that. Finding some type of original voice. You have something of that in there and just putting things out into the world will help you. Discover that about yourself and other people to discover that about you, and this gets to an idea I wanted to talk about which is the idea of studies, you know, when when a painter is going to work on very complicated painting. They lawf- and do studies where they're just like, I'm just going to paint, the cat painting. That's not like the main thing. But I just I'm not real confident on this. I'm just gonna paint. This cat a bunch of times. I love it. I'm already buying it. And until I get a sense of what this cat looks like an musicians, I think often do this to where they're like this is both having written some songs myself. And then observing people writing songs often this thing where you're like, I kind of have a chorus. I'm just going to record this chorus just to have it down. But that's not really song. That's just like a few lines. And then I also have this Qatar licks, I'm just gonna kinda record this Qatar lick. And there's a sense of dancing around the song. Maybe some of that stuff doesn't probably a lot of that stuff. Doesn't end up. Getting used the way originally it was written. But it's all just practicing a specific part of that idea. So I think one thing I wanted to talk about was this idea of when you execute on an idea, you have that doesn't have to be the one bright that doesn't have to be the only time you did it the first time can be a disaster. And that doesn't mean that that the idea is bad or that you are incapable doing it just meant that was a study that was a practice, and you need to try that again and see if it's going to work a little better and kind of try and shape it, but I think having kind of the knowledge that the first time you execute an idea can be the first of fifty or the first one hundred it doesn't have to be the final version of that idea. Yeah. And it's not a it's for the most part, it's not terribly expensive to do a lot of these things. Obviously if you're writing a score for symphony that has. Twenty-five members and you have to hire symphony to play the whole thing. Then that's I think it's a bit expensive. But I think when you're writing a podcast or or writing a song that you play yourself on a keyboard guitar. Yeah. You can make so many different things. And find what lands and the great thing too is it's so much easier to share these things so you can get sort of immediate feedback. Whether it's people being like, hey, I love this. Or you just see whether or not it takes off whether registers with an idea, I think it maybe this is backing up a little bit. But I was saying like one of the things like when we started night Vale like when you did the pilot you wrote and recorded that pilot episode before I had ever read anything that you were writing for the show. But what's amazing is now that I know this about it. But it was very clear that that whole episode is a study like there's no arc built into it yet. There's a little bit of an arc in the story line there. So there's a tonal architect of attention kind of builds and then it releases, but for the most part, it's a series of weird paragraphs. It's a series of like weird little stories. And that I think is the perfect example of a study of something that we did put the study out in the world. But then we also like kept repainting repainting it, and we're still repainting it. That's the real. That's really great thing about a serialized show and the first night Phillips owed have fifty downloads. Right. And that was the grand total of our friends and family together. I joke about that. But that's honestly, truthfully. What that is. And so I think when you once you put once you can put a study out in the world, you can kind of keep redoing it and redoing and redoing it and podcasting is a great way to do that yet taking that even farther back. I mean, yes, it's almost like the night Vale pilot feels fairly complete and like that's the first night failed thing. But it didn't come fully formed like that. I mean, originally I just was starting with a name for some reason the name came immediately. And this vague idea of what this town was. And I just heard as he said writing paragraphs, so that's how that started. Is that script was not written in one go just every day? I think I was doing it every day. I would just sit down in the very first thing. I wrote with that light above the arby's paragraphs in which you know, if you listen to it has nothing to do with anything in terms of story. But it was just kind of like I want to write this thing about this town. And then when I wrote it I'm like, yes that feels like it's adjacent to this town. Let me write more stuff. Lights seen in the sky above the arby's. Nantes the glowing sign of arby's something higher and beyond that. We know the difference. We've caught onto their game. We understand the lights above RB's key. Invaders from another world. Ladies and gentlemen, the future is here. And it's about one hundred feet above the Harvey. None of those paragraphs on their own is that beginning night failed. None of them set a tone for a story later, I could come back and kind of try and shape that into that pilot episode, but it started out with just like can I write a paragraph that takes place in this world. And what does that look like? And then when I could to question is can I do a second paragraph, and you really can do it at that that simple and granular level. Yeah. That was one of the big things of know working with the Neo Futurists when you have to come in every week with writing, you know, two to six short plays. And then you pitch them to people and the pitch processes really fascinating because you have to sell your idea to people, and you know, it may or may not get picked to be in the show that week, but you kind of get a sense of like once you sort of read it out loud, and describe it to people you you start you get pretty reflexive and you start self reflexive and you start thinking like. Oh, you know, this could use some work like I kind of have an idea, and then you have some place that you pitch over and over and over and they never get in. And then they just sit around forever. And then later a cannibalize them throw them in night Ville somewhere or I use them in some other writing project or some of them I eventually just dug through and I found a play from two thousand six and then like two thousand eleven I was like, oh, I finally figured out how to rework this thing. Like now that I've come back to that. So those those sorts of studies, but it to get it get yourself into a program the Neo futures forced me to do this. But if you can self motivate to do that to of constantly create and constantly make thing, and then know how to execute it. And the know how to keep executing those ideas, I think one thing to take from this is that no work is wasted. Like, if you write a thing, and it doesn't work then you've learned and gotten better, and at the very least you've continued to develop that muscle memory of creation. So I think certified giving yourself a bit when you start working on something, and it's not working part of this. It's the sense of like this is not wasted time. This is not wasted effort. This is part of what makes me better at what I'm trying to do. Yeah. And it gets to sort of embracing embracing practice and embracing rehearsal and embracing having to try again is a lot of this like it's frustrating, and it's time consuming having to start over when it's not working or starting something and having it just not work. But that's I think part of developing this habit is developing a sword. I'm looking for developing a resistance a looking. An immunity immunity. But yeah, like an acceptance of trying again, an acceptance of having to start over on something because you're going to have to and that's great because it means that you're going to do it better. This time comes sort of like as we're talking about this. I sort of imagine the idea of like working if you were a chef working for a catering company, and you just make a ton of ton a ton of food and a lot of it is that you just need to make this amount of food. And then you may be at the event that you've catered and you may notice that like, well, I put all the suffered into these dinner rolls, and then nobody ate them. But it seems like the pasta worked really well. And you know, it's not all going to get consumed. You're going to make so much stuff that nobody will ever taste or see at all. And you have to be to your point like you have to be sort of accepting of that. And just know that that's your job is to constantly make food for catering events and not worry about how much of it gets eaten. You just have to. Keep making it because that's your job your job as a writer, you keep you keep writing things, and you're going to have more than you can possible use. That's totally fine. There's this great line that I swear I read in the book crime and punishment, and then have been entirely able to ever find again in that book. So don't know where it came from thought it was crime and punishment that it was it was about the main character is a writer, and like and the line is something like I would I would love to read it for you word for word. But I can't find it like all writers. He judged others by what they had written and himself by what he was going to write. And that breaks both ways, you know, obviously that sort of a joke about the fact that you look at somebody who's successfully written a few books that you think are only mediocre, and you're like how when I write my masterpiece. That'll be that'll be way better than this. But of course, you haven't written your masterpiece, which gets idea of actually executing on your ideas. But it goes the other way too. I think where we look at people who admire like, wow, he wrote this book she made this album. They they did this this video. That is amazing. And I just I don't I don't know how to do something like that. But what you're not seeing is the all of the stuff that those people didn't put out into the world. You're not seeing the pile of unreleased art that they had to make in order to reach the point where they could make that thing that when they released it it stunned you. Yeah. And so I think being aware of that. And not judging yourself for not having created that thing because you're every one of those people you admire has gone through the process of creating stuff that no one's ever seen. That's really interesting because it really it does become about trigger polling, right? It does become about the thing. Like I actually have to execute something. And we're. Talking about creation. But there's a number swing creating a thing. And putting the thing out into the world like actually executing the distribution of that thing because you're a writer because you want to tell stories to multiple people than just yourself, and yeah, you're right. It's it's the thing of some of it is completely about confidence. The idea of like, I can't actually do the thing. I can't make an album this person made an album, I'll never be the mountain goats. Right. Like, so what's the point? Like, you convince yourself I think that some of it for some people some of it is just I think fear of committing to the time. Maybe I don't wanna say laziness, but it's a form of that. You know, you don't want to commit to actually doing that. And putting yourself out there to take up all of that time. I was just thinking about Jillian. And I watching what we watch a lot of chopped. You've watched a lot lot of chopped. And there's something that's interesting. That happens a lot which is on some a lot of these competition shows, but particularly in shop where somebody forgets an ingredient and some. Jillian I've had this conversation of like, I think that guy just self sabotaged. I think he didn't wanna put himself on the chopping block. So he didn't. I mean, I think he was fully willing to lose the competition, but he can always tell himself both because I left this ingredient off it wasn't because I'm not the best cook. And I think that there's a similar thing that some people have and I've had that that feeling before of like, you know, what if I always just think about what could be I never actually have to react to what actually is if I think about like how good my novel could be or how good my podcasts could be or how good my play that. I'm going to write one day could be it's always going to be better than the most mediocre things that actually have been made that actually gets to a subject, I didn't make a note for. But it is something that I think every artist is aware of which is there is never in the history of art been a finished work of art. That was as good as the artists was picturing when they first started, right? Everything faces the hard way. All of reality eventually, and that's fine because everyone passes through that like the perfect complex novel. You're mentioning is going to have to eventually face. The fact that you have to construct that affords and construct these characters and it could end up. Excellent. But it probably wasn't the exact perfect novel, you're mentioning, and that's okay. I think this is again developing these habits in one of those habits is being okay with the fact that the things you make are never going to be absolutely perfect as they were when you hadn't made them, and the reason is those exist everything that exists has some sort of flaw things that don't exist can be without flaws. Yes. Absolutely. Yeah. This is. Yeah. It's all potential. That's absolutely all potential. We're nearing our time limit. But I was curious if you wanted to jump into the the idea of the lottery ticket theory. Yes, I want a kind of in in rethinking this. I was sort of leaving it to the end because I was realizing this is a bit to do more with being. A like successful artists, quote unquote, or at least like a working artist. And maybe that's not everyone's goal. You know, if the goal could just be I wanna make things, and that's really awesome. That's I think something to keep in mind is a lot of advice about art has to do with being a working artist, which means being able to feed yourself from your art. If you don't care about that. Then a lot of that advice, you know, you can feel free to ignore. It might still be really useful advice, but you can be a lot more. Like, I don't care if you want to eat from your art a lot of this vices, very useful. And and, you know, take it from the people who have managed to reach that point of hustling enough on the art to scrounge out food for dinner. And so this is advice for that. Which is we have this idea of that success is at least in some way, America Crecy, right? Not everyone. I think I say everyone many people understand that that's not one hundred percent truth. And luck is always a factor. But the. The I don't know what to call him the internet person. Does a lot of things. Darius Kazimi, and I apologize. If I'm pronouncing your name wrong that is how you were introduced for the speech. So I'm just going to go off their pronunciation so dairies because Amy gave the speech at the Exo Exo festival in Portland in. I want to say two thousand fourteen about how to be successful except what he called. It was how to win the lottery, it was from the point of view of someone who's won the lottery explaining the techniques used in order to have a winning ticket, which is obviously ridiculous. Everyone knows that the lottery is random which was his point. Is that successful artists are people who have gotten very successful in an artistic field. Basically won the lottery, it is so much of it is luck. And his point. Is it like the lottery, it's a numbers game? The reason that day one that lottery isn't because that lottery ticket they won with was perfect. It's because they bought a lot of tickets the lottery, which is to say. They had made a lot of stuff and most of that stuff. Didn't go anywhere. Most of them weren't winning tickets. If you make a lot of stuff if you act on a lot of your ideas, you have a much better chance of having one of them spark with someone and turn into something you can sustain and turn into a career. It's just unfortunately that like you could spend your entire life on a single project, and that might be a beautiful meditative thing to do. But even if it's perfect there's a very good chance at just won't have the luck of sparking with anyone, and that's not your fault. That's just the way it is. But if you make a lot of stuff if you make a lot of projects, you have a much better chance at one of them will happen to work. And so this habit is not just good for you in terms of good for your art, which it is. But it's also good for you. If you want to have a career, it's a good practice for that. And I think if you just want to build an audience of any kind, and you know, there's so many I've I've seen so many really amazing writers. In say New York City in the downtown theater scene do play reading and I'm like this. It's play is really good. I'd love to see that play some day, and you rarely see like a big audience for it. A lot of the people who are successful playwrights even in the non money-making scene. But the people who regularly are producing shows in downtown New York, they're not paying rent with that. But they're certainly getting a name for themselves and getting an audience for themselves, the ones that have an audience are the ones who've done it over and over and over it's the same way as with a musician. He can't just upload an album for band camp. And be like it's going to take off you actually have to perform regularly and constantly in order to build that audience. So so the lottery ticket thing is is great too because to be able to take off and become a bestselling novelist or become a what's the weird phrase? The number one international hit podcast or whatever. The people slap on things. Put our publisher caused night Ville, the number one international hit podcasts. Very confusing. We're technically podcast and we've been number one in some things. I guess at one point the whole podcasts are international. Yeah. So yes. So there you go. But I think that the idea of lake even that level of success is nothing like say an amazing bestseller something that spends a year top the New York Times bestseller list, or whatever like or something that becomes a movie that makes a two hundred million dollars or something. But I think there's an idea to that beyond just supporting yourself. There's there's thing like you love what you do. So you make a lot of it. And then you love your audience, and you want to build more of them because you want more people to be listening. That's a majority of people who make their careers as novelists our trade paperback people who write romances and mysteries and things like that. And it can be decent income too. But it's a thing where you just constantly turning up things. And then people start recognizing your name, and they start going to you. Yeah. That's really where it's at. That's where that that's where it's that's where it at this completes. Our entire lyrics of Beck's where it's this song for them. I think the phrase I really want to leave you with because I think it's important one. Here is just the idea of building a habit of creation. If you build that habit for yourself. It is going to be useful. Whether you want to build an actual career out of arts or just do it for yourself building. That habit is a key development in that process. So let's talk about our assignments for load for our consume assignment. I want you all to check out a YouTube channel it's called song a day. And it's by a person named Jonathan man. That's man with two ends Jonathan has been writing a song every single day and recording that song for I believe over three thousand days. He's been doing it consistently. He did it on days that he's sick. He did it on the day. His kid was born. He did it on the day. His grandmother died in a room. Next to her. You wrote a song about her? It's just he is kind of the ultimate example of a habit of creation. He he writes a song every single day. No matter what. And I'm sure he'd be the first to tell you not all the songs are good. But a lot of them are, you know, because if you build that habit for yourself, your brain will will start delivering when you need to do that. And going back to the lottery ticket thing. I mean, some of the songs have become kind of little viral hits. He went on the Rachel Maddow show with one of them. And a lot of those songs even the good ones. No-one probably only a few hundred people hurt and we're like cool cool song and then the next day happened. But I think he is a perfect example of this habit of creation, and I think you could interesting thing to go in and do if you're looking at all of the songs that he has on his YouTube channels probably just check in on like number of us per song. And I bet you'll see a pretty wide wide range of things that have gone super viral and some things that may have less than a one hundred or two hundred views. Yeah, I mean, if you look right here like his it looks like his most popular song has two point five million views, so he's had some go super viral. But then fem just like looking at a recent video recent one of his songs had fifty nine views. So that's just it's it doesn't really matter. The number of people watching it's about the act. It's about the act of constantly creating. Something. So that's just a recap. That's Jonathan Mann's song day YouTube channel, let's get to our create assignment. So what we want you to do is. We want you to pick an idea you've had for a while. Maybe it's a phrase or a title or a character. You've had in your head just some just somewhat kernel of an idea and want you to do is just use a timer. Spend an hour exactly on that. You can do that all at once over the course of an hour or maybe break it up into six ten minute work sessions over the course of six days, just to make it more easy to make it easier to work with Harvey you want to split it up, but work exclusively on that idea. Shut everything else down work exclusively on that idea for total of an hour. What we want you to do whatever you have done at the end of that hour that your I try it Saikia we used the term like like an artist's sketch that your sketch of this idea, and we want you to actually execute it. We're talking about. Really the focus of our show is about making a podcast or building towards making a podcast. So let's let's talk about creating something that can be shared posted to our forum. So record it or maybe if you just have it as a draft. That's also a sketch poster writing to that as well. But give yourself that one hour, and then put it out into the world, put it out on our form. Put it out on your blog. Put it out on tumbler, whatever you have Twitter, go out and your porch and shouted at a bird, whatever you need to do our good audiences. They are they're terrible at feedback. But they sometimes we'll listen anyways. So give yourself that one hour execute the idea at the end of the hour, you're done with it. Put it up there. That's your sketch. I would love for you to bet Joseph would too. I bet he won't fight me on this idea of do it again later some other time keep doing this sort of thing. Give yourself those parameters on that motivation to say I'm going to take this next step to cut off working executed. And then move onto the next thing. Whether it's continuing that idea or a new ideal together, and I would encourage you here to pick an idea that is one of your someday. I'll do this idea. Everyone has those those like this is going to be my big project. This is going to be the one in someday. I'll do it choose that. And yeah, I'm used that this hour on that. But what if what if I don't wanna what if I'm a mess it up, and I can't write the great American novel. Will that turns out you can? I mean, you can't that's an impossible. No one's ever written that no one ever will. But the point is it's scary to us that idea that's so important to you. But the great thing here is you will get practice at messing it up because there's no way you can execute it. Well on an hour Z, you probably not going to. But that's cool because that was your first try, and you can try again as many times as you want. Celso? You're also never going to make that idea. Great by not executing it poorly at some point in time. So you might as well start executing it poorly. Now, you miss one hundred percent of the podcasts. You don't take. I think the phrase that is the phrase perfect. I love sports. Thank you so much for. That's all for this episode. But your assignment is just beginning. Head on over to start with this podcast dot com to join our membership community becoming a member allows you to share your assignments with other listeners talk about what's sparking your creativity and find future collaborators, plus you will be able to ask follow up questions about this and future episodes and gain exclusive access to episodes where we answer those questions membership is just five dollars. That's five packs of colored pencils at the dollar store that doesn't have sales tax. We can't wait to see what you're working on start with. This is a production of knife L percents. It is produced by Julia Melfi editing by grand steward mixing by Vincent Cascione theme by Joseph Fink, all other music is by caged animals varies special. Thanks to Adam see so and Christie Grespin out night failed presents dot com. For more information. About this show. And all of our other shows we have a bunch now, and they all rule. Thanks for listening.

writer Joseph Fink YouTube Jeffrey Craner Qatar baseball Mara Wilson LA arby Alice Jerry Reed Twitter Celso New York Times Chretien Jillian New York City arby Rachel Maddow
146 - The Birthday of Lee Marvin

Welcome to Night Vale

29:37 min | 1 year ago

146 - The Birthday of Lee Marvin

"On April twenty-seventh that's less than two weeks. From now, we are bringing a unique new live show to the Largo in Los Angeles. It's a story about the faceless old woman told by the faceless old woman herself Mara Wilson, it's part of a night. Ville presents triple Bill, featuring new shows from Alice isn't dead and within the wires. It's going to be a heck of a night. And I hope to see you there. Tickets available right now at welcome tonight, mail dot com slash live. And while you're there, check out our upcoming performances of our night Ville live show, a spy in the desert across the US this summer also coming up volumes three and four of our script collection books. The buying of lot thirty seven and who's a good boy. Now these go on sale may fourteenth, but you can pre-order them right now at welcome tonight failed dot com slash books. These books collect years three and four. Four of our podcast. Plus they feature behind the scenes commentary for every single episode and also for every single episode brand new illustrations from the amazing artist. Jessica Hayworth don't forget you can pre-order signed copies from steriods galaxy books the deadline to preorder a signed copy is April twenty fifth. So do not delay on that all of that information and more at welcome tonight, Ville dot com slash books. And hey, I love your taste and shirts. Every evenings disappointment is the next morning's hope. I'm Lee Marvin locum to my birthday. Doc planet of awesome size lit by. No sop. An invisible titan hall thick Black Forest and jagged mountains and deep turbulent oceans. It is so far away. So desolate so impossibly terrifyingly dark one day. We will go there. Imagine the feeling of the ground beneath your feet on that planet. The soft cold grit of sand that once was rock once was mountains. You won't be able to see the sand. You won't be able to see anything except the faint glimmer of the stars. There's always liked somewhere. Just not here. What does it smell like on the planet? I wonder the salt Tang of invisible oceans, the bitter sap of ancient forest. I don't think it smells of rot. I don't think it smells a fire or of food. I think it smells empty like a home that you lived in for many years, but if cleaned out and repainted, and you're standing in it from the last time, and it is once again, a stranger to you. Then it gets most like that. I'm Lee Marvin. After of some note, it is my thirtieth birthday today. Every day is my thirtieth birthday. And yet I do not age. This morning on my birthday. I had a vision. I was walking and the ground became wet. Then the water rose up around my ankles. But I kept walking. Around me were the trunks. Mighty trees. Hundreds of feet around the water felt cool. But the air was war. So it was nice to all through and still the water rose, and I was waist deep. Now. I didn't know where it was. I was going toward or away from there was a fierce bicker of birds somewhere far above the water roiled, but I was not afraid. Just walked waist-deep in that water. Perhaps I walked forever. My morning routine is like so I wake up at five AM. I know this because my digital clock tells me stark red against black about the same cloth for decades. All of the labels of worn off the buttons. I would know how to set an alarm, but I don't need to. Whatever I wake up it's five. Maybe my waking causes time to happen. I have the same breakfast. Every morning. I don't mean I have the same kind of breakfast. I mean, it's the same food. I know because the apple has brooms shape like a witches hat new the stem same Bruce same size same shape every morning when I pour the serial no matter for how long or short it's the exact same amount of cancelling of counted them again. And again, even if I porno serial it all if I refused to touch the box. There is still the same number of cornflakes in the bowl sustain breakfast. And I eat it again. And again to celebrate the morning of my thirtieth birthday. We were not meant to last forever. There is no peace can eternity. What shapes all of this? He's the boundaries the birth. Death even the pain in the knees. The forgotten. You are bounded. And so within you. Boundless without boundaries. I have no shape. I have no pain in my knees. And so I forget I have no forget my body. That's all. I just wanna remember my body. Doc planet of awesome size lit by. No, son gets orbit is wild. It's serpentine through space even with the most powerful telescopes. We would not be able to find it. But at some point, we will see it clear and plain our own faces and blue sky. We will look up on a day where we had a dentist appointment where we had to pick up the kids by four the basketball game was on down at the bar. Then there will be a planet of awesome size lit by. No song. An invisible tighten all thick Black Forest and jagged mountains and deep turbulent oceans, the planet will be so close you will be able to see details on its midnight service. Although cities that you see opponent fast and cavernous cities empty windows empty room no-one built though cities, but they are there. I'm Lee, Mark. I've always been. It has always been my thirtieth birthday. This afternoon. I had a vision. I was at a conference table in conference room and a building full of rooms exactly like that one place of business where money is not made. But as procured from those who deserve it less. I wanted. Search those offices all of my birthdays after I ever find an exit. But I did not search. I sat at the conference table. Across from me was an unsmiling, man. His hands were folded in front of him on the table. I did not greet him. Because I felt that we had already exchange small talk. Now, it was time to get to the meat of it. But I didn't know what the meat was. I didn't know what he wanted from me. Neither of us said anything from either side of our conference table. Tinted window looked out over a parking lot. Full of identical silver sedan. My after noon routine is like so I put on my hat, and I go into tau. I do my shopping and say Hello to the people. I know and the people I don't. Here is still somehow people. I don't know even after all this time, however, much time it has been. They often wish me a happy birthday. And I say, thank you. But what I mean is pleased. Place. No more. Sometimes there's a party, and I poke at the cake with side of my fork, I go home with my groceries, and I put them in the fridge throwing out the identical groceries. I had bought the day before. Then I have enough to noon coffee out in the backyard staring at my long, which remains green and lush. Even though the heat is intense. This time of year, even though I have never in my life watered it. Grass is like me. I spit a little coffee on grass. Imagine having no shape, no form. Imagine a clumsy endless nece. Magin me picture. In an emergency. It is recommended that you look for the nearest exit. That's all I'm doing here. Looking for the nearest exit. Dark planet lit by. No sun and invisible. Tighten all thick Black Forest and jagged mountains and deep turbulent oceans. I feel I walked there once on ago. I know the bitter crunch of its lifeless soil. I know the ice fizz of the waves along its shores. I know the smooth glass of its mountains. The dark there is complete. I wish I could take you by the hand and together you and I could step onto its surface. We could know it the way one knows a home. We could find warmth, and it's absolute chill. We could make light, and it's total doctors. But that won't happen. Because when we visit that planet, we each must visited alone. We can take comfort and those who have gone before in those who will come after. There's a dark planet lit by. No, son. And one day, we will go. This evening on my birthday. I had a vision. I was climbing chimney of rock. The rock set tight around my shoulders. Hardly room for my body. Edging myself outward, I was able to make myself stable and then wiggle myself. Just little bit higher. A little bit higher after that. I knew that my climb would last for the rest of my life, and that the rest of my life would last forever and still I wiggled myself an inch at a time. Far above me was a dot flight. Pail on of sunrise or some set it never changed. Son was always setting or else. It was always rising. And anyway, I was far beneath wiggling my way up a chimney of rock far below. I could see cave water. Absolutely clear and impossibly deep and brutally cold if I wanted. I simply relaxed my body and fall through the rock into that cold and clean water. All I would need to do is relax for one second. But I didn't I kept climbing toward the sunrise or else the sunset. My evening routine is like. Listen to the radio to hear the news nod thoughtfully what world is up to. I'm not involved. I take off my socks, and I count my feet feel against the carpet living. Living. Sometimes I hear voice from the living room. All. Boy sounds. Must be more than this. The wall says to the me in the chair. I wish it were. So I say to the me in the wall. Could you could you help me out here? I think I'm stuck says the me and the wall shake my head. Sadly could've helped myself would've already. I don't like to sleep. So I'd binge an old ninety sitcom like five and a pit or the thin, man. Commences? Don't folks leap. I know. I don't I count every hour until the next day. And yet, I find myself waking again in my bed, and it's my thirtieth birthday as it is always my thirtieth birthday. If I'm not giving them boundary. I will have to create a boundary for myself. I will have to be the inventor of my own end. Listen against the window. You hear soft murmur of the weather outside. Prophecy. With this. Up to you all manner of dental true. Kitchen payments? While your windows. Two. Marrying? Say that the time is near. Coming in loud. Victims out of the. Starting to. All the talk. We heard was true. We all heard the whispers raum the star. We. Mild land mine. Ready? Wait to see what you see. I have lived a very long time. Perhaps longer than anyone. There's still so much. I haven't done. I've never been to Poland or Livia Zealand or spits. I've never been to North Carolina or North Dakota or north Florida or Germany. I've never seen a giraffe in person. Or a boar or praying mantis or eagle I've never been to space. I've never been in a coal mine. I've never tasted kale or Kim. She or lamb. Dickey? Oh. There are big things. I've never done. I've never written a book or recorded and now boom. I've never built a house. Choosing the location and materials laying down the foundation, and constructing the framework upon it putting insulation installing drywall getting permits from the city. I've never led an army over a mountain pass saying to them today we go down in history. I've never gone down in history. I mean, most of us haven't most of us won't. Me too. I guess. I've never been to the dark part of the ocean floor. The sun can't reach the sheer liquid mass, and the strange creatures live whose beauty does not rely on our sense of beauty because their existence does not rely on our sense of existence where the volcanic vents pumped heats into the blue black abyss. I've never been married, although I have been divorced. I've never skydived or even been on a plane. I don't know what flying feels. Hi, magin feels a little light trimming a lot like waiting. There are small things. I've never done. I've never had a picnic. I'm never made whole wheat pasta. I've never parallel parked or spent a few hours picking up litter from the side of the road. I've never pulled a we'd have never bought a hat have always owned this. I don't remember where I got it. I've never driven any car but dodged wrangle. I've never seen a single movie except forgetting Sarah Marshall, not that new remake, but the original nineteen sixties classics starring Frank Sinatra's every character. I can't imagine any other movie being better. So I've never bothered. Exotic things I've never done. I've never time traveled Holo. I do get the brochures in the mail each week. Like everyone else. I've never danced in the ballet. Although I've daydream of it many times, I've never printed counterfeit money nor order to hit on anyone or otherwise committed a crime. I've never been bitten by vampire or by where wolf or by a child. Simple things. I've never done. I've never mailed a letter. I've never owned a dishwasher, I don't know what a sauna feels like I've never been in hot tub. I've never kept a flower in a vase long after it was time to throw it away until it is the Brown memory of flower that once was. I've never done Pelotas or yoga or cross fit. I've never taken a run. Although I have always owned running shoes. My life. Like all lives is more of a list of I never. Because the world is bigger than we can reach. Not even if we spend our entire lives reaching. We clear a little circle around ourselves. We sit in that circle. And that is our life. But it's okay. I don't have to do everything. I will leave an endless list of the knock done on the meant to and the should. That's fine. After all. Ass performance is not a predictor of futures. After all death is only the end if you think the story is about you. After all after everything. After it's over. Good night. Luminary is a free podcast app launching this spring. And you're like I've heard of luminary you definitely have they've got all the podcasts. You get on your current catcher with features like a simple user interface, and personalized content recommendations, it's probably better than what you're already using. And you don't have to pay a thing. But if you do want to pay thing luminary also has a new service. Unlike anything else in podcasting luminary premium delivering a network of over forty ad free podcasts that will only be available on their platform. I'm going to download the free app and sign up for luminary premium because I am dying to hear John Cameron Mitchell's fiction musical podcast extravaganza anthem hunky Lous as well. As Hannibal birth is stories from the road in handsome rambler sign up for luminary premium before April twenty second. And take advantage of some amazing presale offers at luminary dot link slash night. Vale that's luminary dot link slash night fail. Terms apply. See official rules at luminary podcasts dot com slash. Terms referral. A couple years back. I went to the hair salon, and I sat down, and I said, please make my hair look like Frenchie from Greece. When she gets kicked at thirty school for flunking tinting, it's an Easter egg pink. And it's really gorgeous and super cool. Maybe you also have super cool funky colored hair that you had to bleach to get there. It's worth it to cool, but it also completely ravages your hair other things completely ravaged your hair to like me when I t's the crap out of it to give it a boo onto do night Vale live shows. But you know, what I also do that helps my hair stay healthy sugar bear hair. You want your beautiful hair back give your hair what it craves, and what your hair craves is a gummy vitamin that has everything you need to have healthy, stronger, more beautiful hair. But are you a total garbage monster who doesn't sleep? Great. Well, now, you're not because they're sugar bear sleep. It's the new edition to the sugar bear healthy family of products. It's still missus. It's berry flavored and they help you fall asleep faster and give you the best sleep. Ever sugar bear hair for longer stronger, healthier hair and sugar bear sleep to fall asleep faster and sleep better. Order both at sugar bear hair dot com slash night, Vale sugar bear hair dot com slash night. Vale that's sugar bear hair dot com slash night Vale, and I hope that your hair also looks like an Easter egg a healthy Steg. Welcome tonight is production of knightdale presents. This episode was written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Craner and produced by disparition. The voice of Lee Marvin was T L Thompson original music by disparition, all of it can be found dispersion dot info or at disparition dot band camp dot com. This episode's weather was Sicilian crest by the mountain goats from their new album in league with dragons to hear songwriter. John. Dr Neil at night, failed creator Joseph think have an hour long discussion of this song. Check out the new season of their podcast. I only listened to the mountain goats wherever you listen to podcasts. Comments questions, Email us at info at welcome tonight, fail dot com or follow us on Twitter at night, Ville radio or live your best life, whatever that means to you. Check out welcome tonight, failed dot com. For more information on all sorts of knightdale merch we have from logo shirts too low. Ago earrings to shirts that say sleep like there's nobody watching today's proverb. A group of chihuahuas is called a committee. A group of labradors is called a jumble. A group of golden retrievers is called a butter dish. Hey, Dylan Merrin, and this is conversations with people who hate me the show where I call up some of the folks who have said hateful or negative things about me on the internet. You can listen to Dylan's conversation wherever you love listening to podcasts. Just search conversations with people who hate me. And remember there's a human on the other side of the screen. Ex-?

Lee Marvin Black Forest Vale Ville John Cameron Mitchell Mara Wilson Los Angeles Dylan Merrin US Jessica Hayworth Joseph Fink basketball Vale sugar Alice Twitter apple knightdale Greece
Bonus: Excerpt 2 from "The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home"

Welcome to Night Vale

12:27 min | 6 months ago

Bonus: Excerpt 2 from "The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home"

"It is the big day the newest welcome tonight Ville novel the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home is out. It's out in the wild waiting for you to buy it and read it and be thrilled and scared and blown away by it. And I know you're going to read it all in one night. But don't be spoiling. Okay so as you probably know me. And Joseph's multi city book tour is cancelled because of reasons but we are doing a giant online book tour from three to seven PM Eastern Time Today March Twenty Fourth Goto. The welcome tonight Ville Youtube page. Join me and Joseph. Live talking about the book. Visiting was super special guests reading passages from the novel and even taking your questions and if you miss the live experience you can still watch the entire feed or part of the feed on Youtube for more information on the faceless old woman and this feed and anything else go to welcome tonight. Ville DOT com slash books? Listen I'm really excited for this novel. I'm really proud of this epic story of terror and vengeance. Plus there's a giant and at and she is cool as heck. Here is one more excerpt from the audio book. Read by night. Ville Zone Mara Wilson again. Welcome TONIGHT VILLE DOT com slash books for details on cool independent bookstores? You can buy it from or go to wherever you usually get your books. Okay enjoy an estate by the C. Seventeen ninety two to eighteen. O Five one. I was born on the Mediterranean on the water itself in a small boat that my father was frantically rowing in order to take my mother to medical care she would never live to need. What chance did I have when my first act was to take another's life my father let the ors fall? Once I arrived to my mother had left he cradled me with one hand and his wife with the other and then he made his way back to shore. I was his first and his last child. From then on we would only have each other. Maybe lesser man would have responded to the trauma of losing a wife by resenting my existence or by forever associating me with sorrow but my father was not a lesser man. He buried my mother on the edge of our state on a hill overlooking the water. She had died upon. When I was very young he would take visit the grave regularly but as I grew older he realized I had no memory of a mother and he himself needed no reminder and so gradually we visited less and then eventually not at all still once a year he would go out by himself to the grave and carefully tend to it clearing off weeds. Making sure the path to it was possible that the view from her plot to the water was unhindered. He never married again nor showed any interest in women. This was an act of misguided nobility. He was so fully occupied by raising a daughter and by his mysterious work that there simply was never space for a second actors romantic life. Maybe if this story had turned out differently he would have eventuallay as an older man found room in his life for love but the story can only turn out the way things happened. I cannot conjure a happy ending where none exists. I never missed my mother. I don't mean this to sound strong or uncaring. I just never knew what a mother was enough to miss one and my father was such a warm and loving Barrett that I did not feel a missing piece in my life. Any sorrow I felt was on my father's behalf for I loved him completely and I knew that her death had been a great blow to him so at night in bed. Listening to the whispering of the same warm seawater upon which. I had come to be and my mother had come to pass. I would lay awake and wish that the tragedy could be undone but it was never for my own sake. I only ever wanted my father to be happy. Here is what an orange tree smells like at the base of the tree. It smells of soil. The churn of earth and the sun heats sit if it is warm enough to grow oranges than it is warm enough to bake the soil and the central rise up a dense greedy smell pleasant without being beautiful one. Rain comes the smell changes becoming sharper smell. That is a squishy in thick as the mud. That makes it. The tree itself. Smells like a house. That will never be finished building. The dust of wood and all that binds would together. It is a smell that grows with the tree gaining the smells of what lives on and around it. A squirrel runs up the bark. And now the squirrel's nest a faint trace of pungent animal mixes in with a stolid smell of would between the continuous vegetable. Hama believes. There are the flowers that smell more like fruit than the fruit itself. A perfume that smells like a miracle but also a that life does not end with the humanity. The smell of the flowers is extra human and it does not need us. It is the smell of running under a Hot Sun. The smell of falling into cool water. The flowers are the dream of the fruit and the dream of sweetness to come and then the fruit themselves echoes of the flowers perfume. But more tangible there's a wait to their smell. And when punched open with a thumb the physio of pulp and juice that is one and orange tree. Smells like our estate had many orange trees and many other fruits. Besides it was a large in lush place on a hidden inland protected from damage of storms and the curiosity of passing ships. The Mediterranean was dangerous and wild place at the time full of warships on patrol in merchant ships passing to and from the ports of the East and pirates and bandits ships and other ships with strange flags belonging mysterious organizations whose membership in purpose were unclear. But whose menace was evident to all our tiny inlet was a blessing allowing US modicum of despite the apparent richness of our state and our state was quite rich. The land had belonged to my mother's Family. A wealthy beneficiaries luxuriate in fine arts and foods the fawning attention that comes from kind donations to the poor and carefree life not beholden to any business or industry wealth is either a blight upon the soul or a bomb. Mother's family saw money as a privilege allowing them to read poetry and explore intellectual. Gentility which is why they approved of her marriage to my father. A working man. With an average education few rich families of that time would have allowed their daughter to marry into a family without wealth for fear that a dowry would be taken and the young bride and her family ignored. As the son of a merchant my father spent much of his youth traveling to farms to purchase livestock and produce to then sell it larger markets in the city. He met my mother one summer. While stocking figs in a market not far from the estate a quick errand into town to buy food turned into a long afternoon of discussion about the sweetest figs. In late. June you can tell the ripest by the smell. He told her gently holding the green bulb to her nose as she inhaled the aromas of Golden Syrup an earth. The long afternoon turned two weeks of not so accidental meetings between the two and that became a courtship the family trusted him so thoroughly and my mother loved him so fully that no question of the integrity of their marriage ever arose. They were married on the grounds of this estate which was then handed over to the new couple by my mother's parents. My father loved this home. Why would he not? He had developed a nose for the finest produce and here he could save her every rich grape every spring onion every plump orange beside the citrus groves there was the main house avast thing inhabited now by only my father and me. There were servants wings and towers that we left sealed to gather dust. Eventually we reduced our presence to one small wing of the house sleeping in adjacent bedrooms using. What was once a small kitchenette for the stable workers as our place both cooking and eating my father carried the habits of the small merchant family. He'd grown up in didn't know what to do with luxury on the scale. It was being offered still. The lands were maintained by a variety of servants who came regularly and the area of our house that we lived in was also well kept and I did eventually begin to wonder as the years went on how my father was able to pay for the upkeep of such a large and luscious state when he did not seem to have any job in particular having given up his merchant travels after I was born. This was all so long ago. To parse through my earliest years is difficult. I am an old woman. Perhaps the oldest there has been a mind was ever meant to catalog. This much. A life was never meant to be this long but I do retain memories of my earliest and greatest period of joy when I lived in ignorance of what the world could do to a person. I'm three years old. This is my earliest memory. I am running through the orange groves. I'm chasing my father or he is chasing me. It is a radiant clear day. I decide to hide. I will go my way up into one of the trees a wedge myself against the trunk a few feet up into the leaves. I see my father looking for me. Where's my daughter? He says an exaggerated confusion whereas for beautiful face. I must see that face again. Where could it be the soon I allow myself to fall onto the soft dirt? Where my father's scoops me up and both of us are laughing. Was My face actually beautiful. My father would say so either way another moment. I don't know how old I am probably five or so. We are in our little kitchen in our big house and my father is cooking. I don't remember what he is cooking. I only remember the smell. Which is median green. The smell of vegetables cooking and fat. He asks me to cut the bread for our dinner and he shows me. How supervising my use of the knife but allowing me to do it myself there only two of US little one. He says both of us need to be able to take care of the other. He shows me where I should cut but it is. I who carefully lowers the knife through the hard crust smells of onions and herbs and lamb. Fill this memory and anchors at forever in my mind. One more memory of my earliest years is not like the others. I am six years old again. I am in the orange groves but this time on my own. My father is a way for the afternoon on business. Says happened every week or so and I am left to play around the estate I know every disused shed every good swimming spot and each claimable tree in the groves where I could hide and secretly watched the groundskeepers or the ships in the harbor or even the deer. I'm playing in one of these hidden places and I see a shape moving forward in an odd stop and start way across a line of trees. I assume it was one of Gardner's and called for them no one answers. I'm scared but determined to be able to tell my father how brave I had been so I run after the figure soon? I reached the end of the line of trees and breakout into the broad grass leading down to the shore and thereby the shores a man lurching in a strange stiff manner. He does not turn to look back at me only shambles to the edge of the. Rock and then tips forward into the water. I run down to look where he had fallen. The water is clear and shallow but there is no sign of the man. I decided I must have been mistaken and do not tell anyone what I have seen. If you like this excerpt go get the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home wherever you get your books and had to welcome tonight. Ville DOT com slash books for details on our livestream book launch? Some great independent bookstores. You can buy it from and for links to exclusive signed editions.

US Mediterranean Joseph Ville Youtube Mara Wilson Hama ors C. Seventeen Barrett Gardner three years six years two weeks one hand
Episode 180: Socially Distanced, Emotionally Close AF

The Struggle Bus: Self-Care, Mental Health, and Other Hilarious Stuff

29:58 min | 6 months ago

Episode 180: Socially Distanced, Emotionally Close AF

"Bob Problems bus. Welcome to the struggle bus. I'm Kate I'm sally and we're here to do the best. We can to help you out that said we are really struggling to and the only qualifications we have to give you advice or that. We have lots of feelings. Lots of opinions and lots of anxieties. None of those are a substitute for professional guidance. However there there are some things. We're going to try to send you along to to help you on your way during this time. Yes we are so Catherine yes here. We are Content up top. We're GONNA talk about the pandemic the corona virus pandemic. You should know that now. And we're probably going to talk either directly or indirectly about it this entire episode so and also if the episode isn't exactly cleanly edited because I take out some background noises and stuff and I don't really have the energy to do all the fancy bells whistles. Just you know. Get into it yet. We're we'RE WE'RE ROLLING WITH IT. We're like in a we're in a doing the best we can kind of a mindset which. I don't know maybe you want to see how the sausage is made a little bit. Or maybe maybe you don't and if you don't that's okay Plenty of other. Podcasts are still releasing their delightful and pristine episodes But I should say or tweet us. You should at struggle bus pod. Email us at struggle bus podcast at G MAIL DOT COM. If you want to join our amazing supportive secret facebook group. I can't even tell you how wonderful community has been. Just give me the email you log into facebook with INSTAGRAM DOT COM. Slash the struggle. Bus pod for pictures of Sally's cat. Use the HASHTAG. Struggle Pod Buds for twenty to find a struggle buddy struggle bus PODCAST DOT COM tweet. It Sally t tweet at me at. Sbk Heller. Yeah every social media account that I have access to is now just miles feed. That's all it is. Which is Great? I I admit it just defer to you so Catherine yes? We're we don't really know we're just gonNA kind of We're going to Improv. We're GonNa yes and each other. Okay give us a profession. So we're just gonNA like I mean. Do you WanNa talk about some of the stuff that we've been doing to. Kinda GET THROUGH. I because I'm interested in like how you've been spending your days for sure and like how you're holding up and everything well without getting into great detail because you don't want to get into it. I'm in New York and a lot of people I know have been directly hit and have been tested and it's really hard to get one and I had a really. I had basically a bunch of the symptoms a few weeks ago and I'm still fighting off a fever but I feel so much better so who knows but It's pretty serious out here like we're just all taking it very seriously and it's I haven't left the house in a while. I Miss Everything but Sally. I am the proud new foster drum roll of two cats. My upstairs neighbor before before you say another word I just WanNa say when you say. You're the foster of two cats. I would like everyone to imagine that two cats are fostering. You and they are adoptive parents. That's so sweet. Well here's the situation my Several of my neighbors skipped town. Because everyone's really scared right now and understandably so because you know we don't really know what's going on yet and it's hard to grasp your head around things logically. We always talk about catastrophic thinking in trying to keep yourself grounded but for right now it's totally. Okay it'd be anxious about stuff so a bunch of my neighbors left. I am now the proud Part Time Foster of these two cats which has been an experience and also the proud new part time owner of a my downstairs neighbors apartment which is gorgeous. And 'cause I can't leave the house I go there for a change of space to hang out and watch movies. Suzanne Phan is amazing. Yeah so that's really helpful. What about you they hold on? We're not done with these cats. Yeah Okay what are their names? Okay what are they like? Are they in your apartment or are you taking care of them in there are no? I'm very allergic to them. And I didn't realize they're very new to my building. My neighbor just adopted them a few weeks ago months ago and I only met one of them once because the other one was really shy. I use the word was because it's about to get real so I actually don't know their names. 'cause it's too late for me to ask. Do you know when you're at a party. And you've met that person once before in your friend just leaves you alone kitchen with them and then you're like I can't ask you. I can't ask their name right. Yeah I've called them The one in charge and the other one. Those are the news so you're feeling too embarrassed to ask them their names because you've been spending so much time with them. Yeah so I walk in the apartment of the first time and the one insurance the one in charge comes out looking at me like and I was like am I. Is this high die like is this. Is this going to happen? And she comes up their sisters she comes up to me and she's like She sniffs my arm you know. She walks over to other sisters swear to God. They had a conversation. The other one came over finally and was like by the end of the day. We were just playing together all day and every day I go in. They run up to me. Now they're like doorbell. I'd play with them. And today I gave them catnip for the first time just for my own entertainment and they like it. Oh how one of them just passed out after work and then the other one kept getting into playing and then ran into the other room looking for more cat if and I was like. Wow it's real stuff so they're okay. It's tough because I am very allergic and I want to pet them and have them in my face but you know. I really can't knife just shower after I see them. And Oh man little hives here and there which I don't think is a good thing to have but that's normal. I've always been allergic to cats more allergic to some than others but I love animals so much. So that's that's where I'm at and these cats the one in charge and the other one. I love you kids read. There's some videos online in the struggle buddies group. Sally yes there are cameras. Yeah Well I'm glad that you have some some company even though they're making you allergic and you can't spend too much time with them just 'cause like having a little bit of animal. Interaction is Kinda delightful. I'm really enjoying miles right now. I'm like more grateful for him than usual. Just because it's nice to see like another little living being doing his thing And he's just like the cutest so it's just nice to have a nice to have a little cute friends so. I'm glad that you have that. We'll try to foster a dog but the good news is. There's too many people who tried so the list. I'm on a list. I'm on a wait list. They ran out of dogs which is good news. It has good. But it's a it's a bummer. For you I really want you to have a dog. I know I am more of a dog person. No offense to cats But yeah it's been good having animals to sort of distract me and there's a story that drives them bananas and it's so much fun it's on this like fishing hook And they they. They're just so into it like. I'm sure they know that it's all just a game that I'm in charge of it but they still love it our cats. I'm Kinda smart. Yeah Yeah yes. Cats are smart. I don't know they're smart and also at the same time there are times when like miles does something and I'm like who's my little genius and other times I'm like. Are you a Ding Dong? Or what like they just contain a lot of different modes? The cats also destroyed the apartment today when I came in His little come a tent over their beds just knocked down paper towels everywhere out Dan. They're acting out. Are One of them. Pooped outside of the litterbox. Even though I've been changing it so it's like. Oh Gosh Oh yeah. That's definitely a like a Retaliation of some kind and you know rightfully so. I don't blame them to be honest but my neighbor she might be at uptown longer than expected. And I was like Really Miss You. And she's like yeah but like they always act out and I'm like yeah I think that maybe after a certain period of time you just should get like renaming rights like if you end up watching the cats for like eight weeks. Let's say you just get to name them. I already came up with the name Brady Sallee and to Markin. I love that I love that. At least one charge to Americans. The other one is the other one. That's perfect great well. I think I think we're done here. We've done some really good work. Yeah Well that's good so that's something that you're doing. I mean you're also working right now. Right I M working at one of my jobs but I took time off the podcast company. Because that's a lot of creative work in my mind was not in the right head. Space the other languages logic and stuff so I've been doing that to keep busy but I've been sleeping like that fatigue and the exhaustion was so intense when I was going through. Whatever it is that I had and I'm feeling much better now but it was hard to like. Get out of bed in the morning. Just work and yes partially. It's could depression. You know because of all this happening. And I haven't feeling very anxious but legitimately for the last few weeks even before this was quote unquote taken seriously. Because it wasn't I was still feeling so exhausted like beheld auditions from theater company. Which by the way we did include we did close But even at Auditions. I was falling asleep in between when we had breaks like for five. Minute breaks my head on the desk but I really do. I want people to know I feel a lot better now. Which is why we're doing this. But I did take time off the podcast stuff and I'm working a few hours a day at the other job from home. Okay cool. So that's that's something Yeah I it's nice to keep busy. It's it's weird. It's both nice to keep busy and like have something to do and also I'm finding it really really hard to like focused and to concentrate. You're still working at the same. Yeah I'm still working and like we're doing a lot of coverage right now. Almost exclusively current virus coverage and on the one hand. It's like a lot but on the other hand. I think if I wasn't doing this and I was like editing other stuff I would just be thinking about it all the time it you know. It's it's this is at least allowing me to engage with it in ways that feels like productive and helpful So that's good And it's nice to be able to like provide useful pieces of content for people like I think people are just like looking for information and also for Just like experiences they can relate to So I feel really good about being able to to like work on those stories You've been writing. Animals easing stuff by the way. If you WANNA check it out go on to self dot com just right. Yeah I actually I. I'm mostly at et. I wrote one piece about social distancing about how to I basically just like compiled all of the things that I've been saying to people in my life to try to convince them to take social distancing seriously so I wrote that but everything else that I posted stuff that Either edit or that someone I work with here at self has written or edited and you can see all that at self dot com you can search site for Corona virus and that'll like pull up crevice content but you know it's like also like very fortunate to have a job right now Which is like definitely not guarantee and in fact actually I just published something by a really cool writer named Lindsay King Miller who is on twitter at ask queer check and she wrote a list of different ways to help people everyone from like Performers and artists musicians Sex workers domestic workers trainers basically anyone who is like in the GIG economy or in the service industry Ways that we can support them financially right now as so many people are either out of work or have like very very very little work and maybe are transitioning to like offering their services virtually and stuff like that Yeah if you're in shares unity or the arts community. The Actors Fund is offering money so do apply immediately. I did this because a lot of my income. Just got cut by a lot. Yeah Yeah it's it's pretty intense. I mean you know. Following the medical and health news is one source of complete terror but then also following like what's happening politically also really scary. It's just like it's very overwhelming time and We thought some threads in the struggle buddies group of like people who are in are in healthcare either because their healthcare providers or they work in healthcare settings. And they're talking about what they're going through and it's all It's all really scary. You know this definitely feels like something brand new like my brain and my body are like. Oh we've never liked dealt with anything like this before. How how's this GONNA go? My therapist actually called me today. Just like literally just check in and we actually had like a short session for free. She's like I just WanNa talk to you. Which was so sweet. No that's amazing. Yeah we set up a session for next week because I am a bit. It's a phone session. There's no I'm I'm self porn teen so I can't leave the house by the way. Are you self quarantined or are you still going on walks and stuff? Oh yeah we're going on walks and we're like you know social distancing of course but like You can't every N Philly as in New York. There's a shelter in place rules so the only thing you really are allowed to do is like go out free groceries or medical care or like so exercise. Yeah Yeah it's it's also hard because I you live with a partner in a an animal. I live alone but I have access to an animal to But there there is a way in which just the isolation is depressing. So I found that I've been doing lot. Zoom conferences texting with friends calling friends and things that I never thought I would be doing that. Human contact because that's a real thing not being touched or not being able to see people's faces is is can really make you feel down so if you're feeling that way that's totally normal and if you feel like you're stuck at home with people and you loved them normally but you're stuck with them you know and you're finding yourself feeling feelings that's okay too Yeah I mean you know being being alone right now or being with like maybe a roommate that you just like share a space with. But you're not really close with or living you or living with someone that like you don't really like or WanNa live with all. Those scenarios are really tough. And I'm definitely like thinking about I mean I have. I have a lot of friends. Like in New York who Are Living with roommates. That like you know. It's not uncommon to like. Just you live with a roommate. Because you're both looking for like a place in the same neighborhood. Not because you're necessarily like friends or hang out or whatever and like I think I'm sure in some situations that can be like awesome and I think in other situations. It can make this all like a lot harder I've also been doing a lot. More like connecting with friends and doing like video hangs and stuff like that. I think I'm like socializing more than I was before which is yeah. I like I was making plans to like. Have a zoom like hang with like for me and Andrea and like two friends of ours who are a couple and we were like I was thinking like Oh shoot. I'm actually not available till the middle of next week because I have so many plans which is absolutely not anything that I ever could upset. Also those parents out there like having kids at my friends with kids and it's just really hard to stay chipper and make sure that they're okay and even if they can't go outside to play and they're going a little wild. It's it's a thing that's happening to I know I know it's a lot. It's totally a lot Are you like watching or eating anything? How is your like? What are you doing to distract yourself if anything I have been reading this book called the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home which is written by the Night Vale. People that podcast. Oh and it's a really fun. Beautiful fiction piece about. I think we spoke about this in the last episode that we didn't release because I had a panic attack afterwards and was like I can't release this episode to set. It's about a woman who sort of her backstory of gaining revenge. Not let her own backstory about why she sneaks into people's homes and does things and it's based on the character that is played by Mara Wilson Front of the show some gifted my birthday by Geoffrey grant or the one of the CO writers. Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Craner and it's just been a fun way of escaping. I've been watching a lot of comedy. stand up the good kind not the bad nice. Tell tell me some good stand up. John Mullany comeback night. Oh my goodness I could watch that. I actually did watch it twice in a row. Because he he's so talented that it's fun to just like his his talent and his Just how he presents the material and it's also so funny that you just yet my guess it's I might watch it again. I it's awesome so yeah that's awesome. I gotTA check it out. I've it's one of those things that like. Everyone I know really likes and I've been meaning to watch for a long time and just never got favorite one. That he does is the comeback kid you you will. He tells a Bill Clinton story that is unbelievable. But it's true about him meeting. Oh my God okay. Yeah if that doesn't sell you on it. I don't know we'll nice okay. Cool thanks. So we're we're watching madman. I thought about doing that. Yeah it's really great. It's like it's really absorbing And it's hitting a good sweet spot for me where it's like. There's enough happening. There's enough drama and intensity that I'm really like I'm really hooked in and I'm really thinking about it so it's nice to be distracted on but it's not so heavy that it's like bumming me out So that's really good and then I've been playing this video game called Disco Liam which is like Disco Elise Eum Liam. Yeah it's It's on PBS. It'll be out for consoles this year. Pretty sure It's it's a really weird cool game it's unlike any game. I've ever played you You play a cop. The very beginning of the game wakes up from a vendor with absolutely no memory of who he is or why he is where he is. And so you spend the game Basically uncovering things about your past and your identity as as well as As well as trying to solve this murder and it takes place in. This made up country and in a made up city. And there's this whole like there's a whole political and social history to the area that you're in and you learn as you go And the coolest thing about it is that. There's this mechanic called the thought Cabinet which is basically As you're moving throughout the world and talking to people you start to have these thoughts and realizations and you can either like integrate them into your worldview or you can discard them and as you integrate them. They changed the way that you behave towards the world and it and they give you different like bonuses or penalties different interactions. So you can like you can play at a someone who's like a hardcore communist or a hardcore Like free market capitalist are hardcore centrist You can you know you can like as the thoughts about your past. Start to come back to you. You can like integrate them and start to figure out what's going on with you But you can also like reject a bunch of ways of thinking It's really cool. It's really it's another again. It's very like absorbing So I finished. I played at through With one of the character types like you can play the main character as either someone who's like mainly based around intellectual skills someone who's Mainly based around like emotional an empathy skills or someone who's mostly based around physical and body skill so I played it as the Thinki- guy and I'm now I'm GonNa play at the feely Guy And it's like it's really cool. It's like really deep but it's also really really really funny So I would say if you have like. I think it was on sale too for like twenty five bucks so if you have a PC and twenty five bucks to spend. I highly recommend playing it. Oh speaking of which. I'd like to give a quick shout out and by the way money is tight for everyone right now so. Do not at all feel up to give anyone money but one of our listeners. Gifted my theater company Some money because we're asking for donations online and it was the sweetest message about how struggle buses really helped her and it was so kind. So let's say that person. Yeah totally. That's awesome also that reminds me Katherine we talked about. We're just releasing our archive of bonus episodes. Normally it's something that You got if you donate to us at a certain level but I think we're just GONNA like make it free right now so that people have like yes. I'm like extra stuff to listen to so I will what will I do? I'm not sure I'll either post it. Maybe I'll put it on our patriot and then I'll tweet about it. Yeah But feel free to also like email us if you want the length or whatever But probably the easiest thing is check us out on twitter at struggle bus pod and we'll we'll We'll post a link to their And it's really fun. It's like a a bunch of episodes where Catherine and I and like sometimes different guests are just kind of shooting the Shit not like what we're doing now but unlike pre pandemic time so it's pretty fun pretty like loosey-goosey to listen to and we've watched reviewed movies together. A great story about Joe Biden just goes on and on. Yeah there's a variety of wonderful stuff by the way you hosted a net flicks Party like a watch party right well. Here's what happened. Okay so My friends were hosting it and I tried to get on and I couldn't figure out why it wasn't working and for some reason it wouldn't work so I couldn't do it so instead I watch her. Yeah so instead of walking dead okay. How's walking? Oh it's so good to rewatch of. It is just reminds me. I didn't realize that you'd watched it. Okay Oh yeah oh no. I was huge fan of that show. It's about the apocalypse and I was like this'll calm you down and it did really awesome. You know it's funny like I was thinking about the show the leftovers which I really really really love but it's like very freaky And I don't WanNa watch it right now But but like I know there are people who I think are actually getting a lot of comfort by watching that kind of stuff right now. Like the kind of post apocalyptic stuff like contagion which is literally about what's happening now. Yeah I love them. Yeah I oh my God. I couldn't watch that right. I recently read the stand Did you ever read? I think talked about on this show. Yeah yeah I mean it's really good But it's it's Hoof boo-boy it's about a flu that kills basically ninety nine percent of the planet and I've been thinking about that and the leftovers like a lot Important note that like like neither the leftovers nor the stand reflects our current reality. But it's just like it's a little bit too close to home. I think I think I'm still in the in the mode where I just want to have like comfort food. I've been watching a lot of Brooklyn nine nine Watching Andy Sandberg do his thing. And then also You know that movie spy with Melissa McCarthy Yes I love that movie. It's so good I love it. We watch that. Yeah I highly recommend. We've rented it so many we were renting it so often that we bought it. Because it's like it never fails to crack me up and we got into it like after the election twenty sixteen. We were like really desperate for stuff. That wasn't like you know you know how it was. It was really hard to find like media to watch and we got into it then and we've since watched it like I don't even know like five times. I it again tonight. He totally should. I wonder if it's on Netflix. That would be a good one for a window netflix party. Yeah well we'll Grateful for Hulu in Net Flix. Yeah that is for sure. That is for sure What Else Catherine. What else should we talk about? Should we talk about? Should we ended? I mean I don't know I mean let's just like ended on a note of that. This is very serious and scary and barral like thinking of each other so a great community is the facebook group and You know one more time If you WANNA join this this group it secret which means that. Your friends won't see you're writing it so you can be like. Oh Gosh my best friends really bothering me. Right now in a vendor. Ask questions or say you're afraid about something or post animal photos and gifts which by the way people are doing so great at it. So if you want join Email us at struggle bus podcast at gmail.com. And give us the email you log onto facebook with and if you don't get in the first time because facebook is weird about these things just email us and let us know you didn't get the link and I will personally contact you and get you in so cool. Yes a good place to be right now. I gotTA say Katherine do you WanNa put a song at the end of this episode because I have a recommendation or do you not want to deal with it. I would love that. Okay cool I did what I sometimes do. Which is I outsourced recommendation. Because I'm not really a music person Catherine as you know I used to be really into music and then I sort of stopped being so now I listen to stuff when people send me tracks or play less than they're like. Listen that's how I get new music so I have this friend Shane who is a music person. and seems to have pretty pretty like varied taste and a bunch of different genres and he sent me this track which is called. Keep on loving you. It's by yeah it's my cigarettes after sex and He sent it to me and I really really liked it and so I thought it'd be like a really good pack for the out tro. So that's what it's GonNa be keep on loving you buy cigarettes after sex. I have a wild idea. How about we do two songs loo? 'cause I have that one I was gonNA use the last time and I've been thinking about it a lot. And it's been sort of making me feel good. So nice dream by radiohead seal. Get THIRTY SECONDS OF EACH SONG. You can choose. You can vote. I don't know I'm not going to set up a vote but is that a good idea. Should we yeah? Yes arms back to back in like give them some choices. Yeah I've totally cool all right. Well Catherine I'm glad we did this. Nice little nice little short APP. Thank you for your work on this for editing at getting it up and everything I had. This is my pleasure actually gave me the most all day. So thank you for being my friend and thank you for taking my phone. Call the other day when I was freaking out. So Oh yeah man. We're all about taking phone calls from each other and like talking each other down so we gotta do and in two thousand twenty. Yeah stay connected with people if you can if you don't want to. That's understandable but we all got A. We can all help each other out so true. True True Wash your hands stay home. If you can and six feet of distance Catherine this has been great yes and and Sally I love you thank you. I love you too. Thank you so much for listening. I'm Kate I'm Sally Bye. Bye should see the song this Should own shit sincere.

Catherine facebook Sally WanNa New York twitter Katherine Sally t Kate I Sbk Heller Netflix Brady Sallee John Mullany Suzanne Phan Sally Bye Bill Clinton Markin Mara Wilson
3241: Women Are Ugly

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

43:16 min | 7 months ago

3241: Women Are Ugly

"Welcome Keith and the girl I'm Keith. Malley Hamda come to Keith. And the girl is you know is Celebrating Fifteen Year Twenty S my dad fifteen years in podcasting. That's amazing the longest career we've had Mara Wilson. Says you know Mar Wilson. Yeah Lover Mathilde. Welcome to Night Vale. Miracle on thirty four th street. Yes Mrs Doubtfire. Oh Yeah if you WANNA get to know me if you want to know what? I'm actually like this into my Keith. And the girl interviews because that is who I am. I feel free to be myself. It's honest it's open. It's a conversation I feel so comfortable in it. Isn't that funny that our parents us. This is what people get from being here. We'll thank you more appreciation. Oh Yeah thank you Mar. What else can I tell you can tell you? That April Fifteenth. Eighteenth is my stand up show followed by various Keith. And the girl shows a big party at my place be part of it for one low price. You can get tickets for the whole week. It's called the Super Pass. And you just check in that first day and then you have a pass to the whole weekend. Yes keeping him a girl dot com slash store. Also thank you guys in social media. You're saying happy anniversary. Our official fifteen years is Saturday march. Seventh that's the day we started fifteen years ago but don't listen to that first show start with the sector versus where likewise yeah forget the first show not only do you. Have you considered taking down the first show? 'cause you hate it so. I consider taking down the first show in redoing it and sneaking in and people go. They were a game right away. Second shows is a little weak but allow not only did. I not know in that first. Show a podcasting was. I didn't know what words were a lot. Some people commenting Keith. Mcgraw dot com slash forums about the the show with Adrian Appalachia and Was Kinda was saying. You don't want him a little nervous. Even if I'm in my forties that that how Willy Nilly people are saying you can't get pregnant. I think I could. And Adrian was saying we're in our forties. She leaves it in. The Guy comes insider. She doesn't mind at all. Is it ready for a baby but doesn't mind at all? I don't also she's GonNa keep the baby if she hasn't okay and I hope I don't sound judgy about this but I find it strange. That straight couples do that whole like I guess if I get pregnant all have a baby. I'm like I don't know and then when you have the baby and you're like I'm so tired. Nobody told me I'm like you've had all this just in time to like wake up from that. I don't know I don't know I I understand getting oopsy pregnant but I don't understand going like if I- oopsy pregnant then I guess that's the life I'm about to lead so I was curious. I put this poll up is the extremely elderly Kenda You did not pass that far by me now. I wrote to get pregnant. Yes or no seventy percent of our audiences yes so maybe I'm seventy percent likely to get pregnant right. You're thinking of What were you thinking of doing where you're going to get a shot or I'm on Depp. Rivera right now but that like runs out every three months and that's next week for me so I have a doctor's appointment you know generally to look it up and also to inject with the new one for the next three we. How often have you been on DEPP? Oh I was only on once before and I got pregnant really but because the doctor neglected to tell me that the first cycle you can get pregnant in. Your doctor. Didn't tell you yeah. Adjusts Mugu says? Be careful with the devil. Rivera shot I got a disease that made me go blind from it. It's called pseudo tumor. Cerebral there've been class action lawsuits. Yes but can you get pregnant? You know I learned how to live blind just like people learn how to live with a baby right now like. Is that a permanent blindness. I mean I assume if it's a couple of hours she should have added that right. Yeah I assumed she was blind now. Well I'm done and actually went to the doctor today to start the sesame process. You know to get the road to do. You have to go to like your regular doctor so now. He's going to see the doctor. That will snip Yeah what are you? Have you considered that? 'cause anyway like you're you're not gonNA have babies now right right right. I mean I. Don't you WANNA start now? It's just that if I don't I I don't think I do but it's a disservice to the world to not that's the thing and I'm not here to bum out. People you know look around it can use another me. I know that we all know that. There's five of you your four siblings. I didn't raise them right right now. We're talking twins here. You need another Keith. Oh my goodness you should just write a book on raising the kid and the never raise one I. I'm able to see from the outside in. I know you guys should raise your kids. Not Don't so fucking great. It's a mess Keith. How do you know look at you? Look at Your House. Trust me. I have a clue. Henderson's sparrow allow me to sing the praise of the next plane and implant. It took me five minutes to just pop into my arm at the doctor. It was effective immediately in the last three years. In which time my boyfriend a bear can get his sesame. I'm regularly two years. It lasts three years. It takes a long while you go in for this checkup. Apparently right that's all day. I'm regularly full of common. Happy as a Lark. It's highly recommend bonus. I do not get a period anymore. Ps One side effect. My Click fell off but all in all. I'm implying that but I gotta tell you. A Vagina is not tempting to me. I mean good on everybody but no one wants to be. I don't WANNA be leaking. Come I forgot about that. Now that you mention it. I forgot that like yet. You're kind of the dumpster view. You do I get a second me then. You don't finish inside me. What my digby inside out and what? It's always going here if I masturbate. I wake you up at the end. I mean it's different in the pooper. Then you just kind of have like a little lube for your morning. What was happening. I just everything went black. Adrian was saying that she doesn't bother a voting and she's not going to bother this time around that upset a lot of people that didn't accept people worldwide meaning people not even in America says lanphier from Germany. This is hard to listen to. I can you still in twenty twenty feel so incredibly proud to talk about not voting. Apia Germany people who people who still after all what's happening or too lazy to vote because of parking are not my favorite thing about kids in cages. I mean I want to say that she was kidding but also I know it. Sounds like she's not gonNa vote. That was some joke right. Those I am not voting. That's my parking joke are you. You have humor porky. Two four six eight from England. I hate when people don't vote because they know how the vote is going to go. That's one of the reasons brexit happened and I'm still mad about. I don't know I mentioned this the other day but it's it's easy to vote and why wouldn't you WANNA be part of it? I think it's funny things that happened. I WANNA go in I one in the what the processes I wanNA walk past the sleeping lady at the front desk. That's supposed to tell you what to do yet. I understand not wanting to vote. I understand that but do you. What every I understand all the things you very young. So understand the real. I mean I get it you kind of go in. You're going what it feels like. You're wasting time. It feels like you're not really part of this something big. It's like a very deflated. Feels like government is out of Control. Anyway incorrupt like he does a lot of reasons. Parking is not one of my reasons but no I get excited. What's going to happen? You see the old lady sleeping. You see that homeless guys getting kicked out right. You get time off work. Do you know that you get time off work? And you stood in line for that fucking Popeye's Chicken Sandwich. Everybody's talking about where everybody's talking about this you get time off work. Yes set new. Isn't it fairly new? The Oscars are more fun when you see the movies okay. You're going to be what you watch these debates. But you don't WanNa go to line for ten minutes at another. She's watching the debates. Make It. You know what it's and when you say hey my state's GonNa go this direction. Anyway as if you know that's one hundred percent sure then make it overwhelming say. Hey WE'RE NEW YORK. Were a liberal place. And it's going to end up blue at the end then make it stupid blue. Make it the first of all you have the You know if you're voting Democrat here in New York. Now's the time when it when it really matters who you like. There's a big difference between. Let's say burning and Bloomberg if you're into Bernie you don't shrug your shoulders. You're fighting against Bloomberg who was new. York City's only three term mayor. Yes this does matter was shit. It's why when you want to. Why wouldn't you want the world to know how blue this country is? Why wouldn't you want the world to know that most people do want little more gun restriction? Most people do want free Education and care for people under five years old without question. These things are overwhelming but nobody knows it be. Just go yeah. I'm another person that gives a shit. What do you want to bare minimum? Go fucking nuts. Light up the whole country. That's that this is the easiest way to protest. You don't go to jail. I mean it wasn't there a time where you like. Don't vote. We often vote. If we all didn't vote yes but that was a joke because obviously that can never happen people. You know so yes. People are going to vote so you vote to. That's IT comments. Barrows watching US on twitch. I now live in a blue part of Georgia. I'm GonNa vote sure but now with a little pep in my step so she is agreeing with you saying like hey my vote is not gonNA count. But I'm going to be counted as part of it. I liked the Alex. Seen the vibe in the in the booths you know sometimes people are excited. Sometimes there's this nervous energy. It gives you a clue what's going on in your neighborhood not writing a book on it but I like to know it's exciting. Hey listen it's possible. I think we're GONNA win already. I don't WanNa win too much now. You'll get these. You'll get these politicians the follow your whim if it's if things are so big. Wh what took Hillary Clinton so long to say she was into was into gay rights. She could have done that a lot. Faster not enough people gave a fuck or said they give a fuck. I mean I'm forty four so if I have unprotected sex it's not as I'm not going to get a as quickly pregnant as a younger person but I'm not taking that chance either so even though your state is one side or the other that doesn't mean you're just taking chances. It's so worth it. Yeah yeah go ahead no protection. I won't get pregnant. Be BE ONE. More person are came into sing. Oh my God yes. Vote vote anyway because if everyone that lean left the normally blue states voted the popular vote would regularly be at odds with the electoral votes and would help the argument that the Electoral College doesn't work. Make it a bigger thing. If you care if you don't care you really don't care but don't don't act like you care and be like well the rest of the people are going to take care of it. Do your part not because just because you should of it will make a difference if it comes out with. Its overwhelmingly huge amount. These fake politicians will join your side period. Yelich I think is what you're saying. Even if let's say Bernie doesn't make it but he got so many votes it means to politicians at the American public may be once legalization of weed. It means that like the stuff that he was leaning on your saying. I vote that you know. Whoever the politician is kind of follow that Yes yes close enough and it takes no time and it's funny so much shit goes on in these booze. People are yelling at each other. They're making we deals. It's very exciting. What goes on you know bring loved one. Make it a date. Stand in line and point people out. It's a good time so it's not the worst and again take two hours out for work. It does take two hours. Chicken Sandwich. Come on Bernie. Sanders and public enemy had a thing it was announced the public enemy supports Bernie Sanders and flavor. Flav said WHOA. I don't I haven't decided yet in public enemy said. Actually you're not part of the band anymore. Sh he brought. New Politics is clear. Hey Chuck d rates flavor. Flav on twitter. Are you kidding me right now? Over Bernie Sanders. You WanNa destroy something. They that we built over thirty five years over politics. Because I don't want to endorse a candidate very disappointed in you in your decision right now. let's see Chuck D and never sued you for us. Putting my clock in that Bernie Sanders poster I asked the Bernie Sanders campaign to correct misleading marketing. That's all I'm not your employee. I'm your partner. You can't fire me. There is no public enemy without me. What do you think of that? E Chuck fired back at Flav on social media saying if there was a there was a money bag. Flav would have been there front and center us to a free benefit. He sued me in court the first time I let him back in Zambia lawyers sued me again on Friday and now he stays home and he'd better find Rehab. Also Mr Chuck d flavor wrote then. I'm not on drugs. You keep saying I've been cleaned for ten years. I battled addiction before and like millions of other Americans. I know the mass of toll. It takes chuck you know better than to lie about shit like that. So it's tough at in. You're not voting. This is what's going on bands are breaking up. You're not giving us shit because it's GonNa go blow. What's polygamy going to do that flavor Flav time is it nobody knows we Bernie Sanders is going to be up there for five hours. He will know when speeches done it. It's always an hour and then I'm out but I didn't have o'clock good gut. It is weird that you can vote like you vote in schools vote in churches and the church thing is so where it is weird. 'cause obviously you know about the supposed- Separation of church and state. It would be like if it was written in the constitution. There's a separation of state and ice cream but you voted at the local dairy Queen Right. Well it's separation of church and state but the trick doesn't have to pay taxes it's separation of church and state but in God we trust on our much. I don't understand any of this stuff. Pope Francis it has a cold people are nervous. It's the corona virus. But it's just weird that he would have a cold like he is the flu right now but he speaks directly to God. Yeah does he go. Hank God it's lent and I need to talk a lot at this. Show your human. Do you think that he actually just has like schizophrenia? Or something which one the pope and like maybe someone's talking to him and they're like. Oh my God I would. I'd be best case scenario by the way if I'm God spokesperson it'd be like a farm can the spokesperson but can keep stripping me down steps. I should that. What are you doing right? She tries to poison me every now and again. You gotTa feel that the people are. Feeling Keith. You gotta be relatable on this show. There's a Minnesota Church. Plus you could be pregnant. Oh somebody was really mad at me for saying that. Thrown down someone. Let me mention this about abortion. It's not even like she's pro choice. She's Pro Death Adrian stocking about having a baby talking about a boarding our baby really these babies. I Have Rights Minnesota Church. The grave United Methodist Church in cottage. Grove is asking older people not to come to church because they want younger people to join the church. If you're older than fifty nine who speaking through God now. They want you to stay away for two years. Tell them that the older people are done. I've had my fill of prayers bringing the young then. Consult the pastor about reapplying. You know I've been to. Did you see if we applying? You're only gonNA be two years old. They're not GONNA you're not gonNA pass. You have to apply for church you know. But they're saying they want you to reapply. Just say hey. In case. She became young at heart. Church say this. Just keep calling. I've I've seen bars like this like it's a new bar. You are all my children I you right and I think they're gonNA be bouncer at the door. You're all my children but I mean I need children. I don't want old. I don't want to sixty year old child. You already believe in me get out. You're giving a bad vibe to the church. I've seen bars open up new bars but in like two weeks it's an old man's bar and it just happened you could tell by the decor like now. This was supposed to be a college bar and I'm sure that drives You know the the owners now. 'cause I lead in a loser at three PM. This place is shit now. God Damn it I. I have such a picture of it is the perfect picture and you know what if I was a bar? Yeah I'd bring Jesus into Jesus said only people at my bar all right. I'll let this guy in. He's in the neighbor although he brought a friend. Fuck I think they're doing scratch off tickets on. My people are supposed to be fucking on the Pool Table. Shit Shit by the way speaking of the corona virus. Maybe heard Mike Pen. Was that speaking of the corona virus because I sneezed Mike. Pence is the czar for the crow. Vires he's in charge of keeping America. Safe the vice president I saw that. Snl Bit what was that mean. It means in you heard it here first. The Donald Trump is trying to get rid of his vice president. Put Him in the frontline when he goes no. He's going to say this guy's a loser he didn't stop the krona virus. I need the vice president Who was the local grand wizard? Do even know what is happening. I mean it just seems like now. It's in New York. Schools are closing. Schools are closing. Because you know those kids will speed it up. Won't they right? Actually the kids are the ones who know not to sneeze in their hands. At Mike Pence wasn't a scientist the opposite of assize the opposite of a scientist. He's a goddess. Easy creationist right. Yes he doesn't believe in evolution. Does he believe in medicine. I don't know is I've been praying all day. We still got the corona virus. You guys can't feel that is why voting so important don't you this boy thought you dare. We'll get there. Chris. Mathers was Fires Chris Matthews Chris Math Chris? Matthews with too many. You know what you know the way he ever hear him talk a little. Why can't understand me? There's no way he can pronounce his name. Let alone me pronouncing muscles muscles. He was fired from hardball for inappropriate. Sahara's it was inappropriate appropriately of flirting with women. Female guests ends feted says this paper that I wrote over in pen at MSNBC insider told the Post that network executive told the Phil Griffin told Matthews over the weekend in Washington. Dc from hardball is broadcast and he had to resign and retire immediately. You may have seen him a lot during these debates. What are they say that he seventy four? He said that he's leaving his post to make way for younger generations. Who are improving the word. All the church. Oh you know the church stark. These awesome trends. I want the younger generation. In right now you would think I would finish this political cycle. It ends at the end of the year. And I've been part of all the debates and Super Tuesday just happen. I clearly love my job but you know what I think. I'M GONNA make way Nuxie. Now's prime time for these young kids just finishing college and you heard this announced. What else did he say he he said. I'm making way for the young and also something about that. He's learned that complementing. A woman is not the way to go in the workplace. It never was an. It's certainly is now. Oh that and that's all part of the same paragraph Keith. I've been meaning to talk to you. I want the next generation. I know that you really like me. T shirt but it was really inappropriate. Let me tell you. This is Keith. Malley of Keith. Can you let Andrea takeover for the next generation? Please okay listen to me closely. Everybody all women are ugly. And I'm never giving a compliment ever again okay. The climate is too angry. You hear me is exactly what we need. Thank you if you hear me. Dogs and men shooting a whistle pige. Hey over here did he really. He really said he's retiring to make way for the young and because he has complimented women and now he knows it's the wrong thing to things can be true. I mean what a Mench I passed the woman on the street today and I looked right now I go no no I just. I point my hand up and down. I don't even look up and down. That will confuse them. But I put my finger up and down nothing here. Nothing thank you I love that. Not your physical looks not your choice of fashion. Not The shoes. You're barring nothing hair. Goodbye what did he actually do? I'll tell you what he did. You got kids. He said he told somebody. I like your shoes. You know what? That's a Nice Blouse. You can't even. What can you do today? Indra brought me water today. Go Fuck you and I don't want her to call in. The police made her feel comfortable view. Everything could be misconstrued. Nowadays you now get on a bus. There's women I turn right the fuck around. I'll walk miles because I don't WanNa bump woman by accident. Then what do I say? Excuse me please please. Please suck my prick. I didn't say that I said excuse me please like I'm sorry man to be one of the ones. Sorry for what the one put my balls in your mouth. No I didn't say that I said nothing like that. God me too sometimes. It feels like me only too much. I like this. This dude is the character. I like this character doing the getting cut cheating and what I don't at all we didn't have an open relationship. Okay all right when I sit death doors part but nobody else also you and me together. Only that was part. Okay I thought low made more love but okay I am only what else this has white you like now. I know that you're so sensitive. Oh my goodness you flirt with people. Do a waitress comes right. You said hi to. Somebody wants a waitress. Gave me a Muffin? Today I go she goes. How was it? Don't worry about because I don't need a fucking lawsuit? How was your Muffin? Never mind the word Muffin Leaving the Whitney. I didn't even think that at the time. Well now you thinking leading leads to bleeding bleeding vagina periods. No thank you. What a connection. No thank you. These lawyers are crafty. They wake up in the morning. How may I fuck you got damaged? You can't help me fuck you. I won't even talk anymore. Do you know it only even talk to women because I respect them and I don't want there to be confusion in the and noticed you weren't looking at me this whole episode. No need I appreciate it. I'm not even listening to you mucking suck it in bullshit. Have you ever you guys feel you know what I mean? He's I don't you see all these comedy shows coming out now with titles like these guys. Sorry not sorry. Did I say that fuck me? I guess what can I can. I say to attach to my. I like that you're special is called. Can I say look at the? What can I say get paid for? That's a complete title. Wh what can I say? Me and my raiders and the producers. And let's be. Oh what can I say in this outfit? I get a knock on the door and I hear delivery go man or woman. Do you know how many women delivery people lose three fourths of my packages easily. Because he's not in jail this guy me. I'm not fucking around a let me get can I do? I put my hand out to take the package. Do I wait for you to do it. God forbid I mean your space. It's also sexist to help her. I don't know what to do. So slamming out of her hand. Nice Yeah Nice and I go. I'll get later and then just in case pregnant. That's you you you have a thing with. Babies is something you should look into that would be. You've heard me for fifteen years but I'm suddenly throw people down this. I don't know when somebody tells you something ten times matter your Meta me just being goofy on Friday freelance journalist Laura Beset published a column G. Q. Accusing Matthews of making a inappropriate advance toward her twice inappropriate advances as she readied herself to appear on the show. She wrote about the incident 2017 but didn't name him at the time now. She's like good riddance. It was him I was talking about. During one instance Matthews looked over at me in the makeup chair next to him and said why haven't fallen in love with you yet. Oh that's well that's a good opener. Yeah Yeah you look good outcome. I'm not it's also a neg- why don't you ask me? I would love to answer that from every dude. Why haven't you good reporting so matthew said a lot of it has to do with how we talk to each other compliments on a woman's parents that some men including me might once incorrectly thought was. Okay would never okay. So that was his compliment fallen in love with his compliment. Iphone look so hard. I'm boned up right now. Can you tell me why? It's not hitting my brain and heart. I don't get it. I just don't scientifically I don't get it. I think there's pre-committed my pants. I am not in love with you. Is that it was false at not blaming him. Just thinking out loud in three to Donald Senator. Fuck is that by the with the New York. One Who hired you in the New York ones like Missing an eye. You're talking to my ass all like Jim Carey your heart. You'll do queens news and they're getting lawsuits to by the way that they're having trouble at New York WanNa the all. These women are suing for harassment. So it doesn't matter where you look like. Oh okay. That's what I'm saying in this world. The goal women. You know what I mean you get it you can get in trouble for saying when you hit on a woman you know in quotes. Nowadays she applied. You can't even go look at. It was a joke. You can't even do that. What the fuck. I remember. Never when you can do that all the time you go. Hey I'm going to be because you're weird looking and nowadays it's like they're people. I'm old people. Okay remember it. Never when you those were the days guy had a daughter goes my little daughter. Cute and look out on though see not. I poke my eyes out at the pen now. What you get a job in New York one. Yeah and then they heard me New York. One I'm the traffic reporter. I can't see fucking thing that'll care. I flirt with the main guy in them. Golden you know guys you can flirt with. Because they they they get it they keep saying. I wish somebody would still you here? I like being told I like being told like if I'm wearing a nice shirt and a woman compliments. I appreciate that but I can't tell a woman I'm hard and didn't fall in love yet and I don't know why that I can't do. It's all just words mixed up fuck in Christ. What sports yeah? It's the same values the same alphabet. Calm Down my God. I WANNA be a princess. Well God forbid I recognize it. Okay ooh well. He said you couldn't do it and you can't do. Now tell the woman she's a nice tight short readdress certainly not today and for making such comments in the past. I'm sorry but honestly it's more about the new generation you know what while you were doing that character Andrea wrote people are GonNa think this is real and for second couple seconds here and again. I'm like you are not worried that you can take that for real. I mean I was about to say how could they they? Could you kind of live your life man? You know okay. This is the year we gotta shut the Fuck Up. Okay all right you can be sarcastic about women goes how you doing you can go. You're allowed to do that legally for now. Don't you want like a little side? Note saying like look he actually singing. He's doing a character probably named Garrett Garrett with one nice long hard t- you know what I'm saying guys talking to guys show only guys chicks. Don't get it you know his name is Bronson Bronson but he says call me. Chet like it doesn't make sense. How'd you take care to chat? A Basset reacted to matthews resignation by tweeting. All I gotta say it's about time. Mass Friday anchor mistook Jamie Harrison a South Carolina Democrat for Tim. Scott a senator. Both are black way. We did this. Chris Matthews L. MISTOOK. A black person for another blacksmiths was closed. They were both in politics He also was slammed for comparing Bernie Sanders. Nevada caucus with Nazi Germany's defeat of France. Nineteen forty he later called the comparison bad analogy and said sorry. I literally have no brain. Okay okay that's pretty good for no brain. The talk is kind of impressive now right who I'm like. I know what he's talking about because the sun's behind them that's enough information now and I don't think he's pleased about something brain for him. Good for him. How close on some parts of anything? It's the Holy Trinity Sexual Harassment. Confusing people of Color and calling Democrats. Can't do it all in the same week. That's the thing you gotta spread it out. One networking center said. Chris was already on his way out so he's not missed. One insiders says a by day. Okay that was politics on the girl. All right let's get to the Gut's God somebody sent me facebook post of the Gut's Ray boots and you can Follow the two times. He was time you know as a national treasure the lifetime of glory. I would honestly let them take over this show but Keith. Gut's right Keith Ball against listen to it not I'll be wrapped up Recruits Rotan face also keeping girl dot com slash recruits. You can hear when he's been on before He writes comedy men. This update. I'm not there tonight so I guess he has a show careless. Caroline's has this thing where an Andrea was a part of it. What is it called? It's March Madness. So it's A comedy comedians compete. They compete and every week. It's whittled down to like half of them. Another half and then one person wins the whole thing or carry crowded. I believe one last year there tonight they banned me did a podcast and to be honest it was mainly the two loser hosts judging me for an hour because they haven't had enough sex for their liking are not enough for me liking sticking it in enough. I'm leaving Kyle right now in this other remember. What Kinda was celebrated for a year eleven months? I wasn't to my liking Shanna. Tis disgusting just trying to fill people in China shop dessert. I know filling yelp but apparently what can you say? Could it be? I didn't well now. We know just blows it on Youtube. We know too much now but for a brief moment so brief none of the fan base even remembered it. He did a pole with our listeners. I talked about being unhappy as the manager there in two thousand fourteen. Yeah you said was of Caroline's. We didn't know what that meant right. Yeah with China. Figure IT OUT. Like what is the manager do? Pantley he says hi to the comics and Philip water well that was enough for the GM and he banned me. Shit L. Managers have to remember. There's always a general manager. Yeah sad by the way. Hold on new rule. Just come on. You don't have to say I can tell you. Should I come all right? What's going on taking that as a compliment? And Oh out my show now you find. I think he was saying he got in a fight with Lewis. Who is the higher up a Carolina's a Louis owns the place? Yes yes that Louis So i. That's what I heard. I'm not quite sure I was the person but I think when he was saying that someone shoved him. I use implying it was that it was Louis. Okay so for the record yet only said someone someone who worked there. He says loved him so we don't know who that is yet. I think that's all he says about Caroline's being bad and also if somebody showed you just saying someone do you not that the club's romance didn't like that and said you can't do your show anymore and I don't. I don't think that he even mentioned who it was. And I think that the the didn't yeah so who knows if any of this is true but I think he's now kicked out of there. Obviously yeah I don't know I feel like I feel like if you got kicked out for something like that. They've been looking for a reason. Yeah Yeah I mean I. It doesn't seem like everything's in the up and up to be honest. I also know that he runs a show there on Mondays but I don't know how much like what he gets from that. I'm not quite sure I don't know anything about it but yeah good. Live your life free free. Whatever this show is. Gut's suits thank you thank you. And that was the gut's update now we have more in this in the kind of knows what he says? Well that was enough for the GM and he banned me so now. I'm not even allowed at the show that I bought books. Show again even go under so you know what whatever I worked there for twelve years ran a show there five years after that. It's a pretty short. Whatever I met some of my best friends their name some people if people ask me about my past chances are the People. Ask me about my past. Chances are it's GonNa come up and it's nothing against anyone who worked there around the place. Let's get income on. I don't know I guess if we keep them. The girl asked him about the past. The past will come up and that came up and sorry he got fired for being pushed. Keith. It's too deep for you. I was unhappy because I wasn't performing. I thought you were performing on Monday. Nights people even let them perform at the old own show that he books. Guess what I was happy there the last five years but you WANNA be a baby. Go be a baby. I try to be nice. Kept quiet about this for a month but I just want to get the word out so people don't think I can help them get a spot. There enough is enough. You were fired. Enough is enough. Enough is enough Keith. You can't work here anymore. You've been the stealing from the tip. Jar enough is enough. I'm Atta hair goodbye. The show tonight is going to be really good. I picked some great commerce. Go support them. But that's that no more Monday night. Gut's look. You tried to play Games with Andrew Schultz. And it backfired. I don't know what this means. He's doing great without your support. And how many dogs does that guy half not too. I'll tell you that with I mean the end. So he made it and he doesn't even have two dogs. Imagine what I can do. I guess were this Louis. That pushed him have any dogs referring to diamond dog move. I thought we were friends though when he texted me the other day. Yeah that's how you make friends but we're the loser hosts that didn't he didn't have enough sex for what a takeaway from those shows. That's where you got the next time. He texts me any well. I'm GonNa Right back. Don't talk to me unless you're fucking you fucking. I can't respect you. I know you say that nowadays next text you ask ask him if he's complimented the woman recently work it out. Koroma all right good scoots by the way speaking of which diamond dogs. We're going to be recording this Friday on nice very excited and there's a it sounds like who knows it. Sounds like James might be joining us you. Kim. So we'll see he. He left the be boys. If you recall over a fight with the band foreigner so we're going to get to the bottom of everything well now that this other band is having a fight you can get together. We'll see what's enemy also comes as new episode of what's My name or her podcast and you'd be package episode one hundred one. I A- WASCO as so curious about this and then chain Moss emailed me about this woman. Who's been traveling with him? And she's in Iowa Oscar expert and I think people are a little shy to say that they're an expert like that but she She studies it. And you know. Listen TO THE EPISODE. Because she really answered a lot of the questions that I had including the fear behind taking it. Her name is Sophia. Rockland Author Speaker and nonprofit organizers Sophia. Rockland talks about the trips. Traditions and fears of the psychoactive potion. Made of plants called Iowa wasco potion. We will do you WANNA do it. Probably not now. It sounds like too much It does sound like too much like never fucking do it up Saturday note. It'd be nice to people talking. She also talked about the women and be nice to people. She talked about One of the ways that like she. She hosts like as part of a retreat. Sort of thing. So you're not doing it just like going to Peru doing it one time but rather doing it like either on the three day weekend or twelve day thing and They cleanse you know you. You Stop Drinking Caffeine and like so the cleanser your body vegetarian diet or some kind of plant based Diet and then they low dose you first so that you you kind of like get the feeling for it and then just kind of up it feel like that sounds like a nice way. Do I owe Oscar de Shit now's going to Atlantic City fucking all right. Thank you guys very much. Thanks again for being part of this. Thanks for letting us to reach fifteen years of podcasting and our anniversary is this Saturday march seventh and Thank you guys for sharing the shell. Can you share it with fifteen people like actually email them in episode? That you like.

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Samin Nosrat, The Entire Menu at El Molino Central

Your Last Meal With Rachel Belle

41:12 min | 1 year ago

Samin Nosrat, The Entire Menu at El Molino Central

"Your last meal is sponsored by heritage distilling company craft and small batch vodkas Jin's and whiskeys drink locally drink responsibly by Rosie Etel. I'm Rachel bell. And this is your last meal a show about famous people in the stories behind the foods. They love most today on the program, some mean, NAS rat. So means the author of the New York Times bestselling James beard award winning book, salt fat acid heat amp. She's a food columnist for the New York Times magazine, and those of us who have followed her writing and appearances on podcasts and online cooking videos were already very charmed. By some mean, she laughs a lot. She's hyper curious, she brings new life and light to the very saturated food and cooking media world but last year net flix released her four part food and travel show also called self acid, heat and the rest of the country fell in love and part of ability is how down to earth she is how reliable she is joking therapy about how never be the person who buys like ten thousand dollar pants. So mean, talks about growing up a Ron American her love of double carbs. Aka spaghetti sandwiches and her favorite Mexican restaurant. El Malino, central in California cinema county L Malino is owned by Karen Taylor. And I'm not people sort of can criticize this, but I wasn't born in Mexico, and I wasn't raised by Mexican there. So here, and I will talk about how she strives to honor Mexican cuisine and how she makes her homemade tortillas, so amazing. We're also going to talk about person food a cuisine. That's been getting a lot more attention in the United States these days, bona, Petit magazine, senior editor Andy bear Ghani grew up in Iranian household. But he spent his youth hiding his identity. It was an assignment at a food magazine that brought him back to his culture. It really forced me to kind of look at my upbringing, the food that I ate the food that I love so much but never wanted to learn how to cook. I wanted to learn foods from French chefs. It was that's what I thought. It was cool and hip and fancy and or gonna make toddy or rather rice with toddy something that I've been wanting to cook about a year with the Caspian chef OMI, drew stay a Persian cooking teacher in Seattle. So what role does rice play in Iranian culture, Rice's everything? I think it all started with rice. I my conversation with some mean NAS rat. The means cooking career started at one of the country's most famous restaurants shape. Unease in Berkeley, California. It was opened in nineteen seventy-one by Alice waters, who was the original Queen of the modern farm-to-table movement. So mean, I learned about shape knees at her freshman orientation in Berkeley, but she never really considered going. It was a fancy restaurant, and that wasn't the kind of place that her family would eat, and then myself more year, I fell in love and my boyfriend was from San Francisco, and he we really spent a lot of our time together eating, and he was showing me all of his favorite ice cream and pizza and his favorite stuff from his childhood. And he had really always wanted to go to shape any. So we decided to save up and we save two hundred twenty dollars over seven months to go eat there. And so we went for this dinner. That was really amazing and the dessert was chocolate souffle and the server brought it over, and we were like pretty obvious. Slee sticking out like a sore thumb, you know, I was nineteen. I was wearing a black tank top in a denim skirt. Like that was my fancy outfit and so. And so they, you know, they knew something was up with us. And so she said, oh have you ever had souffle before? And I said, no, she said would you like me to teach you how to eat him? I said sure, and she said, well, you poke a hole in it with your spoon, and then you pour the sauce in so every bite has cost. So I did that. And she asked how it was. And I said, oh, it's really good. But you know, what would be really good with us and make it even better is cold milk. And she said, you want milk, and I was like, yeah. So she brought me milk. And then she also brought us each a little sip of dessert wine to teach us like refined accompaniment, and it was just this really sweet interaction at you know, at the time. I had no idea like exactly how rooted is to tell somebody in a restaurant like how they could make the better. And also and also the fact that in finding it's considered like milk is only for babies, so it was sort of this like I mean, not that I had anything to hide, but it was a total giveaway that I was a total novice. And so I was so inspired by that meal that I wrote a letter asking for job, and when I brought it in they said, oh you have to give that to the floor manager. And so when they brought me over to the office, and she opened the door. It was the safely lady. And she she recognized me I recognized her and she pretty much right away hired me. And I started the next day and that was the beginning of her culinary career. She started as a BUSTER and worked her way up to a cook at shape unease sa- mean eventually moved on from restaurants, and she started teaching private cooking classes, counting author Michael pollen as one of her students he taught her how to write she taught him how to cook. And I will pretty much read. Listen, watch anything. That's the mean is connected to one of the things that I think people love about you. And what I love about you watching you and reading your book is that number one. You don't seem like a food snob. But you definitely embrace highs and lows you like food a shape unease, but you also like Oreos, and you've also managed to just really be yourself, or as far as what we all know seems like yourself what if it was all them is. Everyone kept telling me I was natural. And I didn't understand what that meant. I do have the strange capability to not change in front of a camera. And I didn't realize that's unique, you know. And apparently it is. I think a lot of people do get stiff the wonderful thing about Netflix is that they recognize that from the first minute we met everything that they did every comment that they had was about creating circumstances. That allowed me to be my true self. They never wanted me to be anything else. They never wanted me to dress fancy or you know there. It was all just being me, which I'm so grateful for because like in a world that has told me in my whole life that I'm not okay. As I am that I you know, that I don't measure up to standards of beauty or or whatever like to have this incredibly powerful sort of corporation coming in saying to me just be you. That's good enough. And not only is it good enough. But it's a great was really a powerful. Thing for me emotionally. Can you talk a little more about that? Did you feel those pressures growing up that you didn't totally fit in? Yes. Yeah. I mean, I grew up in San Diego which. Was at the time of very very segregated place. And the part that I ended up on was predominantly white. I was very much aware of limping different and being different than having a different name in eating different food. And I was also made to feel different like on a daily basis by the people around me. And it's funny because now, you know, I'm so much older. I sometimes wonder like am I narrative ising this? My creating a story am I remembering it wrong. And what's funny since the show came out like all these people from my past or coming out of the woodwork? And so people are like posting pictures online of childhood things that we did together. And it's always like me and a whole bunch of blonde girls. Okay. Did not remember. And so it's not, you know, there's of course, nothing wrong with being blonde or being white. And I've so many friends who are blonde and white and beautiful and wonderful. It's just that when an entire society an entire culture is like sending signals constantly to all of us that there's one standard of beauty or one standard of normalcy. For that one thing is the default and everything else is weird than like, of course, a little kid can't help but feel excluded and feel different. And so growing up eating your mom suit. He's eating Persian food. What was your school lunch? Like, what would she pack for you? While sometimes we had Persian leftovers or there are certain Persian dishes. Make a great sandwich. You know, there's something we have called let which is kind of like, a little mini Meatloaf or something a little, Patty. And so that would make a great sandwich with pickles man, as my mom would stick it in a pita pocket or Kusaba Z, which is sort of herb, herb and greens rich for Totta, and I'd get a Kuku sandwich. Or sometimes one of my favorites was like she would make Persian pasta, which all Persians make this one type of pasta. I think that that's they and it's called a mock out Oni. And so and so this is like a pasta grip eating was very specific flavor of beef. It was a beef and tomato sauce with mushrooms and a lot of oregano, and it was super good. But only like when I became a cook. And moved to Italy today realize like it has nothing to do with Italy. You'd never find a sauce like that in Italy. It's very very particularly Iranian. So my mom would make macaroni. And then she would give us this incredible double car blunt of pita pockets filled with muck aronie. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. What we we? Call them spaghetti sandwiches. They were so good. We'll what's interesting. I feel like you hear a lot of kids who have foreign parents, myself included, just wanting to fit in and like, oh, I just wish I could have a white bread sandwich with craft single in it. But it sounds like you really embraced the lunches at your mom was making you. I totally did don't get me wrong. But like, I had a friend. I remember like third or fourth grade, and we would walk to school together. Her mom, always made her like wonder, red PJ's. Also, she was like stick thin. I think her mom was trying to get her to gateway. So mom would put margarine and peanut butter and jelly on the sandwich. Also, get like a bag of cheese. It's a bag of Oreos. And for whatever reason she hated Oreos. And I just like I would have done anything for Oreo. So my friend would take her bag of Oreos and throw them in a Bush every day on the way to school. And I was like is it the same Bush like if I went in there were there'd be like a hundred bags? What were you? And I still have like an irrational irrational, sort of fascination with like things like Kraft singles or macaroni and cheese or sort of like all of the trashy things that that are probably like most American kids grow up with to me, they seem like exotic and fascinating. And I have like strange cravings for them. So I'll always be like give me the hidden valley ranch. You know? Me too. I am. So with you Wilson means less meal the craft single Oreo sandwich. Filipina Persian dish. She grew up eating around her family table. You only have to wait about a minute to find out. Check out the title. Spoiler alert. We'll be right back. It is till our here on your last meal, and if you've gotten into this whole, Marie condo craze. And you've pretty much given everything you own to the goodwill. You're not trying to bring more stuff into your house. So something cool to combat stuff is giving and receiving gifts of experience in heritage distilling company has really great experience called Cass club. This is where you are basically crafting your own custom age with e bourbon or rye, it's a one year membership and in the end, you're going to end up with ten liter barrel of whiskey or bourbon awry, so you get to guide the distillers into making exactly what she wants you get to help with the recipe, you can tell them. Hey, I want some coffee flavor here. I want dried peaches, I want a single months, you get a custom label, and you decide how long age your spirits for you can pull up bottles whenever you want. You can try your bourbon your whiskey at different stages in the aging process. It's called Cass club. You can find more information at heritage distilling dot com. Semi. What would your last meal be Mexican food? I sometimes say roast chicken, but I'm like, let's be real. I love Mexican food so much. You have to you grew up in San Diego. What? Specifically what Mexican food you had to always changing? But there is a restaurant in cinema. That's called El Molino centrale that is so delicious. It's a little tiny doesn't look anything special from the road side. But they do so many special things inside including the grind Nikolai their own cord, which is the process that like corn goes through to turn formed from corn. Kernels into the corn that we eat into tia's tortilla chips, they do that themselves. And so it means all of their corn items their tortillas tortilla chips in their tamales have the most sweet corny flavor. I would probably get really hungry before my last meal, and then go there an eat one of everything they have the most incredible fish tacos, they have the sweetest tamales. I really love there because there's not too much Masa on outside. They're not too dry. They're super tender in the fillings, really delicious. They have this incredible dip from the Yucatan that's called tequila pock that I kind of describe as like a pumpkin seed HAMAs or something it's made with pumpkin seeds and tomatoes garlic, and it's so creamy and that I love dipping chips in on. I would honestly one of everything elbowing owes my last meal. When I called Karen Taylor. The owner of El Molino central and told her that to mean wants her last meal at her restaurant Karen was beyond thrilled. She's a fan. Aren't we all L Malino central is in boys? Hot springs in sonoma's county in a predominantly Hispanic neighborhood. L Malino translates to the mill and L Malino central mills or grinds its own corn. Something Karen started doing more than twenty five years ago. When she started her Tamale company Primavera wanted to organic tortillas, and there wasn't any dehydrated cordon must Seca vailable that was her Ganic, and we wanted to be in the Berkeley farmers market. So I found a guy that was selling a fifteen horsepower grinder in Santa Rosa. And we bought it described the process a lot of people just by tortillas in the store, and they don't know that there's a special process that the corn goes through to turn the corn intimacy. So tuck about the the grinding and the Knicks. Nixed. How do you say nixed Amal today? Shen Nixon molestation. Well, it starts with dried corn like that looks like popcorn or or hominy. And then you soak it in water and call or line, which is calcium hydroxide, and he'd it for a little while half hour, whatever. And then let it so overnight and a line penetrates the the corn and makes it also more nutritional, but it inflates, and then you wash it and grind it in stone grinders with water. So it's always a wet grind like cookie. Dough this hard for me nixed. Mullah's Asian is an eight I did it mixed vision is an ancient process dating back to about fifteen hundred BC in Mesoamerica, and as you would imagine freshly grinding and nixed Himalayan your own corn is way tastier than buying package tortillas or Masa Karen is currently using. Mossy Enda corn, which is an heirloom variety from Oaxaca. And the best part is that the neighborhood people can come in by their MAs of from us in Mexico. All his village is have a sort of central Molina where they bring their corn in the Molyneaux grinds the corn, and they can ask them to grind it. Hell like it. They can always buy to retain his in Maza Sutts worked out that way too. And then it kind of became busier and busier and more of a restaurant created a community hub similar to what exists in Mexico. I think so as best we can everything's very reasonably priced the Mazas dirt cheap, the tortillas are as well. And I think people are excited to see the blue tortillas. It's all worked out Karen has a big staff of cooks mostly Mexican women who have stuck with her for more than twenty years. I see a couple of names on your menu. Like, the Rytas mothers will Hawkin red Molay, chicken, enchiladas and. I see where's the other and a Rufina 's pork tamales are these couple of the women who work for you. Yes. Uh-huh. Surata she's kind of a kitchen manager during the day, she and her sister Alfonsina and another sister that has since gone back to Mexico Katerina all three of those been really lucky to have Nate kind of. They really don't want anyone to help them make the moly at. Sometimes. I insist like I wanna do Patricia Tania's malay- because I like it has prunes in it and things like that. But they like to make their own Moulay, and they can make black Molay. They're so good at it. I don't need to get in the middle of that. That's for sure Karen is not Mexican. But she got her start cooking Mexican food in a restaurant in Mexico more than thirty years ago. And she spent a lot of time there she tries to honor the Oaxacan and Yucatan dishes Elmo Lino serves and she doesn't do her own spin on them. But of course, people still like to criticize how does it make you feel or does it bother you? When people do criticize you for making food from a country that you're not from you know, I it's it's funny that it's coming up a lot lately rather than along time ago at this late date. I've been doing it for so long. You have to be careful about your criticism. There's no criticism for someone that is buying L pasta sauce, and grilling Carney Asada, and there's a lot of Mexican restaurants around that I wouldn't say they necessarily honor the cuisine of Mexico. You know, a world class cuisine. Now. Luckily, people are interested in they wanna do it. So I don't claim to be an expert on Mexico Mexican cooking in a we've done a pretty good job. With a lot of sincere effort. There's people doing all kinds of cuisine in this country. We don't have an indigenous cuisine. I'm not claiming anything I'm just trying to do a good job by L centrale is in northern California. And if you're a member of the official society of California, burritos, nods and know, it alls like I am fun at parties, you'll know that there are different styles of Mexican food in different parts of California. So San Francisco's famous for the mission style burrito. San Diego has the California burrito, which is stuffed with cardia Sada and crinkle cut fries. My favorite Britos, come from my college town up and Chico and LA has its own thing going on to you live in the bay area. But you're from San Diego. What is your loyalty? I know. What do I do? It's so complicated. I mean, technically, I've spent more years of my life up here. But I recently realized that my favorite burrito up here is from a place called LA tuck rea- at they don't put rice in their burrito. They only have beans in me, unlike other toppings, which I realized is basically a southern California brio because southern Californians don't rice in the brio. So I think if like you cut me open the burrito, you would find in my heart is a southern Californian Brita. You're really going against your Iranian upbringing. The no rice, I know. Well, maybe the rest of me is all right. All persian. Also in San Diego, which they don't do up north. I find that the Britos always come in that yellow paper as opposed to foil. I have a whole I have a friend from San Diego who went to college up here. And he was really really angry about the foil. He was like if there's foil, it's not southern Californian. I really love the paper. I don't know. I mean, it's colorful, it's delightful really under the paper. Plus like anytime, if you accidents like unwrap your burrito, you don't get all the foil off. And then you like have a little piece of foil later teeth. Not pleasant. That I think that the northern California Britos are bigger. And so the foil contains them because you just not to hold them in you, unwrap it from the very important it is because it makes it so nice and dense and like the papers just there for decoration. I feel like it doesn't like hold it together. I I'm with you. I think the flour tortillas in the south or better though. And I think I am I I don't care how route it is like, I love flour tortilla. Even if it's not cool. They're just so delicious. They're so good likes me and said her heart is filled with Mexican food and the rest of her body is Persian rice, and we've already covered the Mexican food. So when we come back, we're going to talk about Persian rice, and the crispy coveted layer how tidied we'll be right back. It's cocktail hour here on your last meal. And I have a feeling there are a lot of people out there who select wine in the same enter as I pick out a bottle of wine, which is I look at all the bottles. I pick a pretty label with good design. That's in my price range in abaya. And if you feel the same way about spirits, like you don't know very much about them you naturally gravitate towards a big commercial brand just because it's too you. Let me tell you. What's so great about carrots distilling company because this might help you when you're looking at rows and rows of vodkas, whiskies engines and trying to figure out which one to get to selling company is a family business Justin as the owner used to be a lawyer he decided that he had a much bigger passion for spirits needed for law. So we quit, and he started this Cillari their base at a gig harbor, Washington. And they use as many Washington grown ingredients as possible. But like, lavar Burton went said, don't take my word for it. Take the American distilling institutes word for it. Silly company is the most awarded craft Assiri in North America by the American civilians to five years in a row there. SP Brown sugar bourbon just one best flavored whiskey in the world for the second year running. So basically, it's really cool. Nice down to earth people making really delicious spirits. They have a bunch of cocktail recipes up on their website, heritage distilling dot com and six tasting rooms between Oregon and Washington, you could also find their spirits in grocery stores around the country. Find a store at heritage distilling dot com. Oh, hi, guys before we back to the episode sa- mean, and I were talking earlier about nor Cal burritos versus so Cal burritos. And I wanna let you know that we have a whole episode focusing entirely on the history of the burrito. You gotta go way way back to a very early episode featuring the last meal of former child actor and current writer, Mara Wilson, San Francisco style mission burritos or something having to do with mothra all soup, some means favorite. San Francisco burrito is from LA Correa, which was declared the best burrito in the country. By a burrito bracket done by five thirty eight the reason, let Correa one to me is that it has the sort of miraculously, I bite it's incredibly juicy and delicious and packed with flavor and sort of food Piff une- the first time you have it. So if you love burritos as much as I do first of all go get yourself on and then scroll back and listen to the Mara Wilson episode. All right back to the show. It's a means parents are from Iran and growing up in San Diego, her family almost exclusively eight Persian food at home Persian food centers around rice. But there's a particular part of a rice dish that people actually fight over that is called the toddy. What is toddy literal? Translation of Tadic is bottom of the pot. That's a meat stay. He calls himself, the Caspian chef and he teaches Persian cooking classes in Seattle and Meade is going to teach me how to make a toddy toddy is the crispy crust that forms on the bottom of the pot of rice. Now, it is an irresistible ultra coveted treat. But it started as an accident. If you've ever scorched, the bottom of a pot of rice, you know, that it gets nice and crispy, but maybe not in a good way. But he run ins have since perfected it and the simplest way to make Persian rice is to put water buzz, muddy rice and fat like butter or oil into a pot and let it cook. The fat in the heat will create the toddy. But since we were going to be cooking in the studio. Omid brought in a special rice cooker you sit. This is a special Persian rice cooker. This is not just a rice cooker this vice cooker what's unique about this one. Is it has temperature dials where it actually cooks at a higher temperature to create the crispy bit on the bottom. I he measures out some water into the pot. The water in the pot put the lid on. So that I'll be little come to a boil faster. And then he rinses the rice get some of the natural starch off of the rice. And do you do it till it runs clear? Yeah. Just to three rinses, and I don't get to phonetic about it. But just couple of rinses you get some of that starch out a big chunk of butter to the pot. Keep in mind that the adequate fat is what's needed to make the teddy guess crispy as it is. So if you want it to be rich in crispy and reasonably fried, you need the fat in there. So the fat not only coats around the grain, and it prevents it from sticking together. But it also settles down to the bottom, and that is the crispy bit that we all love so much salt goes in saffron goes in and puts a thin dish towel under the lid of the pot to catch the condensation. He says, that's what's gonna create really fluffy rice and actually tried this a few weeks ago from another recipe. It was honestly the best. Lot of rice. I had ever made it eliminated kind of the extra starchy and any of the stickiness that I had experienced in the past. So any kind of rice, I would advise putting this towel under unless I guess you won't like really sticky tire is. But anyway, the rice then cooks for about forty five minutes. Okay. So we're going to take the top off. It's done really tell just looking at the top surface that how the rice is just light and fluffy and the aroma of the saffron that we put on top. And of course, a little bit of butter that went in helped quite a bit. If you're Rice's clumpy that is the curse of your family system. So if you planning on getting married, you can kiss that idea. Goodbye if you serve clumpy rice, you guessed. So let's flip the rice out and see what the Tadic looks like. Now the moment of truth. And I think every time I make rice you just going to get what you gotta get. And it's always good, but it will look different shade. So it was a metaphor for life. That's right. So here we go. Look at her. She looks good touch it. Yes, I'm gonna go. Get us some spoons the rice was intensely buttery super fluffy. There was not a single grain stuck together. And if you're like me, and you're used to eating a lot of Asian rice, like Thai rice, or Japanese rice sushi rice, this is a very different experience tells the story of when he first came to the US he was taken to a Chinese restaurant, and he was appalled by the rice because it was all stuck together, and it's supposed to, but in his culture sticky rice is a disgrace. You heard him you won't be able to get married if you're rice sticks together. Anyway, back to our ice. It was the first time that I got to try toddy, and it was crusty and crispy and tinged yellow orange by the Safran, so delicious when you're talking about people food the culture when you use Iranian and Wendy use Persian. That's a great question. I get asked that a lot. And I don't know if it's universally understood that way or not, but I think. Of my ancestry, my heritage as being Persian and my country of origin and citizenship being Iran. So I am Iranian as was born in Iran. And I am Persian as in my ancestry is Persian. So that's that's how I differentiate it. What about for the food? Would you say Persian food for the Persian food a have used it interchangeably? You know, some of the classes that I teach sometimes I call it flavors of Persia. Sometimes I call the flavors of Iran. Neither is culturally insulting not at all. Not at all not at all. Hugh. Good. Yeah. Oh meets parents sent him to the United States after the Iranian revolution. When he was just sixteen years old. He arrived by himself and was sent to boarding school. And he thought that he could speak English. He studied before he came to the US. But when a kid asked him what's up, he literally looked up at the sky people were constantly asking him. What they couldn't understand what he was saying they couldn't hear through his accent. And even though we hardly has an accent today. That is something that's still triggers him Omid is it their best. But he also teaches Persian cooking classes when you came in one of the first things, you said is that you're really trying to get people in this country to learn about Persian cuisine. Why's it so important to you? I think Iran and Iran ins or quite misunderstood these days. And I think food is a tremendous opportunity in a way where we get to connect and really bust. A lot of myths that we have about who those other people are for me personally. I was truly moved as I recognize how misunderstood we are as a nation couple years ago. I decided to come out of a pseudo retirement from my cooking, classes and reengage teaching cooking classes because it felt like I could tell people about Iran in a very loving and gentle and connecting ways. So and people are hungry for good food. And so the movement toward recognizing and appreciating different cultures through food. I think it is a brilliant move and bone up teats anti-bear Ghani are to Iranian Americans who have helped get Persian food into the minds and magazines of Americans. I love it. I couldn't be happier. I am actually going to go. See some mean myself when he comes to Seattle. Yes. I am such a fan as I was sharing with your Lear like the whole video of Andy flipping the teddy and rice over and showing it and there's such a pride in. In the care that we put into our food. And again, it's another way of re our normalizing and humanizing each other through the love of food, and what truly we have all in common. Ghani is a senior food editor for bone apetite magazine. And I must say the magazine has done an amazing job of using videos and their podcasts to present their writers and test kitchen cooks as a cast of vibrant knowledgeable characters to help readers make a connection and it worked I love Claire sophists. I love any bear Gandhi. Also. Hi, Adam Rappaport. I think you're cool to anyway, Andy is fairly softspoken he's detail oriented, and the recipes that I've cooked are all delicious and likes mean, he got his start working at shape unease. He grew up in Berkeley, she lives there. Now last year. Andy wrote a very poignant and beautifully written piece for the magazine, titled I hit who I was for so long until I became a cook. It's an article about how he didn't want to reveal his sexuality or his ethnicity to anybody. So mean, oh, meet an Andy have more than a love for cooking and food in common. They're all Iranian Americans who grew up feeling like outsiders. There's like some in Andy's lunches were packed with Persian food, but he wasn't excited to pull a Kuku sandwich from his lunch bag when you're at that age, he really just want to fit in as best. You can. So I think I just tried to kind of avoid conversation or really would eventually happened was I just stopped taking lunch to school. It was easier for just like not take lunch and avoid the kind of conversation or just remembered days, I wouldn't even eat just because I didn't wanna. Didn't wanna bring lunch from from home. Andy also didn't feel comfortable with his name by full name is Andy Shi'a and Chabal on him. And that is a hard to pronounce for most people. So I took the liberty of kind of shorten it two n d when I transferred school districts, and I didn't know anybody in. I don't want people to ask you about that name, and I was very quick to cut the teacher off when they were kind of reading the names from the from the roster, and I would just tell Andy and he's fine. My last name, the correct pronunciation, which is also very difficult to say is battle Hauni, the G H makes this sound which is actually very hard to pronounce if you don't speak Farsi. And I kind of just started saying bear Ghani so anti-bear gone. And so Barry Ghani kind of sounded talion to me. And so I kind of didn't sorted saying. I was a talion which is not true. And I know why. But I purchased a shirt as a teenager that said Italian style in which the same thing about just fitting in and sometimes you go to these great lengths these ridiculous links to fit in London. Eventually it gets to you. If if you're lying to others in your line to yourself. So I think it was consumed me in a way that just was it was not healthy. It was Persian food that brought him back around to loving his roots. So I was intern for survivor in twenty ten a food magazine. And I was working and test kitchen I had left, and then they contacted me. They said they were going to do a feature story on Ron. I thought that was ridiculous. Just because I never thought that would be happening and just with tensions between the US on Iran. It just didn't make a lot of sense. So. The story did end up happening and an ISA who report the story and originally the recipes were going to be coming from Iran and transcribed and then just tested in Tesco chin. But that changed and Todd and James asked me to adapt. The recipes from my mother that was something that I was kind of shocked by but open to and it was a lot more work than I think I I thought just because it's not like my mother has these recipes written down in. So it was a lot of hours and days of speaking to her and try transcribing her her pinches and handfuls intact measurements. It was about eight or ten of the final recipes were my mother's. And it was think a great feeling for everybody involved. And that kind of set you on the path of like, oh, this isn't something I have to be embarrassed about. Yes, I think once the story came out, and then I kind of. Realized there was definitely this interest in this food. That's when I started to just continue cooking that food and really have continued since then. Mentioned earlier mink grew up eating Persian food at home, but that is not her culinary area of expertise. She learned to make perfect hostile while living in a practicing in Italy. She cooked seasonal California cuisine at shape unease and the other day watch this video on munchies of her making the world's fanciest and most delicious looking tuna sandwich. Like, you think tuna sandwich? This is not that she starts with tuna steaks, and she uses olive oil and aromatics to make tuna con fee. She makes homemade mayonnaise makes an olive top nod that she mixed into the mayonnaise. She just pickled. Onions the whole thing looks insane. You said that your mom is an amazing cook wasn't amazing cook. When you grow up and now, you're famous for cooking. And being a cook. What's it like to be in the kitchen with your mom? What is her attitude like, how do you guys cook together to she look to you as still like a little girl or do you get to be an expert? No, no, no, no, no, I defer to her because also she's an expert in something that I'm not she's an expert in Persian food. And anytime I need to. Learn something about any particular dish. I call her. I learned a long time ago. I remember one of the first times after I started cooking. I went home to visit my family, and I was so excited to make something for everyone. And I think that's time. But I was really a chicken potpie, which was some American thing that I had never had before, you know. So I really wanted to make that and I learned how to make gravy, and I was really into making biscuits. And so I made this potpie with biscuits in it. And we invited my grandparents everyone came over. And like everyone was confused. You know? Know. I mean, it was I'm sure it really good chicken by. But it was just not what anyone in my family and considered to be dinner. And so. Eat it. Yeah. They totally ate it. I think they like pretended to be really polite about it. But it was sort of got enough subliminal messages that day to know that like my job when I go home is not to cook. It's to eat, which I'm happy to oblige, my mom. So I don't think the kitchen is going to be the place where we're going to like really find ourselves together. Fritz things that your mom cooks. She is a master of Persian rice. And I think one of my favorite dishes one that I'm really craving all excited to eat. The next time. I see her is called bobbly polo. And it's it's a springtime dish. It's like a Dili rice with Fava beans in it. A lot of times the some of the Fava beans will sort of sink to the bottom of the pot and embed themselves in the crispy Tadic, the crispy rice at the bottom. And that's usually served with with lamb with simmered with saffron and onions, and it's it's it's just such. Oh, it's so I think I'm really a double starches is what I'm coming to hear like being and rice burritos or just being Britos spaghetti sandwiches, Fava bean rice toddy taco. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that was to mean NAS rats last meal Sabine will be in Seattle. If you happen to live here at ROY a hall on Sunday, March ten in conversation with the Seattle times food writer Bethany Jean Clement. I'll be there. Come say. Hello. She'll also be in Portland the next day March eleven pickup or book, which completely sold out around the holidays. You literally could not get it anywhere. But you can get it now or watcher Netflix special. It's so so good. I watched it all the way through twice both are called salt fat acid heat. Thanks to Karen Taylor, owner of El Molino central and Primavera tamales in cinema. Thanks so much to omit Reuss, stay this guy is one of the most genuine sweet interesting people, you will ever meet if you're at all interested in learning Persian cooking, which I definitely am. And you happen to be in the Seattle area. Take one of his cooking classes, you can find him at the Caspian chef dot com. A thank you to Andy bear Ghani, bona, petite, magazines, senior editor full. On Instagram checkout. The nearside she of apetite re Jess launched at channel on Roku or apple TV. So we have our own channel. Now. So you are able to watch videos and the comfort of your own lifting episode is produced by Aaron Mason, meet the music by prom. Queen follow me on Instagram at your last meal podcast and leave us a review wherever you listen to podcasts. It helps to get the show out to new people, and it's good for our self esteem. I'm Rachel bell. And this is your last meal.

Persia Karen Taylor San Diego Andy bear Ghani Seattle California United States Mexico Berkeley San Francisco Rice Andy Tadic food magazine El Malino Rachel bell Netflix Italy Mara Wilson El Molino
18: As Ruth Madeley

As Me with Sinéad

45:56 min | 8 months ago

18: As Ruth Madeley

"I am part of a network lemonade media that has all sorts of pie tests diverse hosts. And I'm really excited for you all to subscribe to meth peace with Michael Bennett and Pele Bennett. I I learned about Michael. When my producers at me a screen shot of his book things that make white people uncomfortable and I knew that anybody who would write a book? Like like that would have an unfiltered. podcast Michael who is an NFL star. Which is the National Football League and American football and his incredible wife Pally Co host mouthpiece and honored they talk about all my favorite things politics culture equity and most of all an unfiltered view of their loving relationship subscribed griped mouthpiece with Michael and Pele Bennett wherever you get your podcasts? That's mouthpiece Ammo U. T. H. P. E. AC Hello welcome to ask me with. It's hard to believe but we're now winding our way to the mid point of the season genuinely really really does just feel like yesterday when we were choosing a show title one which we went back and forth on and logo it sounds trite and probably narcissistic mystic. But I'm so proud of as me and the entire concept of shove. Creating spaces for people can be themselves on filters on performed and just exist as they are to show up in the room and in the world has me is one of the the best feelings and I hope that this show does that for you. Each week helps you show up as you gives you the confidence or reminds minds you of the importance of thanks for being with us so far but onto this week's show today we have our first visibly disabled guest. I and of course you can't see that in the same way that you can't see my disability because this is a podcast I am so in awe of this actress of her drive her ambition her talent and just truly how groundbreaking even her mere existence is within the space of of television. I'm confident that you'll be the first superhero film who uses a wheelchair or perhaps a director who used a wheelchair of a hundred million million dollar budget film both options if she chooses them. She's already a superhero too many. But not because she's a disabled person just existing there because of who she is and the qualities and talents that she is cultivated over her life. My disability doesn't define me but definitely drives me. I use it as a driving force. I can use this as a tool to hopefully make the world more accessible. And that's how I feel about that and it's always been part of me and I don't want to bates out of our part of me. Are you ready for this week's episode of asthma with Sinead. It's with the phenomenal ruth. Mainly let's go sitting across from me today in a studio in London for as me with Sinead is is an extraordinary actress. Who in the four years of her professional career has transformed how we view disability as an audience? Aunts and not only that has been part of writers rooms has taken the helm in terms of making documentary and is really genuinely and sincerely changing the landscape for disabled people in Film and Television. I am sitting across from the extraordinary ruth. Mainly we're thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you so much. I don't think you sound excited. I am about this. Just recordings you. Ju Yeah just thought not just just that that's all it is. That's the first question I wanted to ask you. How do you describe yourself personally and professionally? The Way I've always described myself being since been five years old is incredibly determined so make all stubborn. I think it's a happy mixture of both being determined Germond. I'm stubborn. I very rarely took no for an answer when somebody dead insinuate that I couldn't do something because of my disability I think always used that as the fire inside meter to kind of push boundaries and make myself do things that or the people would think that I couldn't I I guess so I've been incredibly determines was tiny and that seems to get more and more face as I get older and did do you have a support system around you. That nourished that determination. I really did. I was never boss hopes to see myself as a victim or the ought to be that I was US different in a negative way. I was always I knew I was different but I was never taught that that was something that was negative. I grew up with an older. The sister who we were always treated exactly the same we will never treated differently. We best friends. There was nothing that my sister did that. I didn't so that was really helpful in Hudson. Supportive and loving family. who were just as stubborn and determined as I was so it kind of just rubbed off on me? Did your sister ever protect you or I never needed a big brother. Have my big sister. Believe me. She she she sky's the life of me in a wonderful way. So yes everybody else everybody else. Yes she she's Yes she's a must've reason one of the many reasons that I am as determined as strong as I am today. I think she's. She's she's definitely hurt my back since day one and she continues to. Can you remember any moments when you're a kid when that was necessary. Oh goodness I think's thanks a lot at the top of the straight. I think he said something archive remember what it was. I think I heard him but he said something about my disability and she just went into this rage each complete rage. Honestly the whole of the neighbors will. WHOA WHOA? Don't ever say anything to sever sister again and yet that was very very very young. We were always unit. And that's really nice. I was never I was never on my own ever. I think our stories are quite similar in that regard. I'm the eldest of five so whilst my siblings were younger none of them are disabled. But yet I had this kind of do vay of protection but also I wasn't allowed to like revel in it either. You know if I it was only can't reach so it was like up you know there's a still and there's a ladder you may do it. You're not not able to do this because you're low person just lazy exactly. There was absolutely no room whatsoever for complacency. You can get away with anything as hall and you know we have this wonderful I we take mccovey shallow and really really be on each other in a fun way and have lost three sisters the sisters then as soon as we are outside anyone death anything to me and the yeah it was different. Do you remember your disability being explained to you know no I really don't. It was never a conversation that we sat down spoke about A. It was always part of the conversation from from day one. It was something I was always aware of our was. Never you know hidden away from anything. I always knew everything that what's going on. I was always part of that conversation. It wasn't the you know. Don't tell about don't Talavera. Even with doctors and surgeons are was always part of the conversation and and the grew with me. Because I'm naturally are why won't know everything. Yeah we we were talking Anderson. Were both deeply. Nosy is ageless. It's part of my life life. I'm constantly nosy. I'm constantly to know what's going on and I'm conscious that this is an audio format so I have spoke for the past however many any minutes but both of us being disabled and from listeners perspective they have no idea what that disability looks or the impact of might take tell me a little bit about your or disability. If you don't mind show I was born with Spina Bifida which means I use wheelchair most at the time I do have the ability to walk. I walk around the House but whenever I'm outside of the House I I always have my wheelchair also from Spina Bifida I develop scoliosis switches curvature of the spine so I have a metal rods to straighten that and. Yeah Yeah that's me. Do you ever find that because you do have the physical ability to walk some distances and yet use a wheelchair is there inside where you code switch or people like code switch to you you do people treat you differently. Should you be in one position or the other you know something was funny because me and my sister actually speaking about this sometimes over the years you I feel a little bit nervous to not use your check as people think you. Oh she doesn't really need and so it's quite interesting. That people many call the government. Yeah yeah she doesn't need the Blue Bash stripper Publi budge immediately. I used to over think in certain situations I blow. Maybe I should stay mature. We'll make other people feel uncomfortable comfortable if I start walking at this point so yeah I think it has been something that I've been more aware of as I was growing up but now I really couldn't tell us asked. What changing you to get to that sense of comfort I think agent experience? I think it gets to the point. Where as you learn more? How about yourself as you get older and you learn more about the world? People are always gonNA feel uncomfortable disability. It's just something that's there and people who don't know what to say I don't what's thank you don't know what to do so I can't be part of that. I have to be confident in what I want to do. I won't say about it. I can't be part without hesitant. Resitance I guess. Why do you think the world still is uncomfortable with disability? Why do you think it freezes people in a way that you know? I don't know I think it might be. Because there were so many different disabilities and Spina Bifida Mama I itself so differently so many different people so this you can't look at Spina Bifida and say Oh that Spina Bifida 'cause it's different in everyone call it the snowflake disability because it is always different in different people so so this such a massive scale of how disability affects people. I think people are from frightened to offend or say the wrong thing. I think I don't lights believe it comes from a place of Mali's I don't I really don't think it does. I think people are just nervous about it and worried that the offense because it something quite alien to to them they'd rather to signals and pretend that it's not they're not part of the conversation. I think we've come from a place. societally were in terms of disability. There has been in always an emphasis on segregation during collusion. You even look at education. I don't know what your schooling was like. But you know we're not that far away from people with disabilities being solely the educated in a special needs environment and even the language surrounding that you know whose needs are actually special for you know. We're now supposed to kind of merge into this world world that was never designed or considered for us and yet we haven't done any space within culture within education within even community where these conversations are happening happening. Now they're not. How do you even feel that the language of disability you know somethin' languages such an important thing? It's such an important tool when educating educate people about disability and I'm not personally one of these people who gets offended by the word disabled I know there are people who don't like the word and that's that's absolutely fine. I think there are bigger fish to fry when it comes to that kind of stuff I think teaching people about were help is needed. What changes can be made externally so so that the disability doesn't really matter when you get to that point? It's I'm I went to a mainstream school privacy second school but I was the only wheelchair usery my I am our primary school and they had to build rumps here and there. My mom had to fight for it like what were the response initially to remember a law of its money oriented orientated. I I believe from what I've lent since My second school was brilliant. They were very well equipped access wise to have a wheelchair you says is for. I only had one choice of sex. Given the whole of Bolton and what's the population of bolt of Oh God ways not not massive town but it's it though. There are a lot of schools US around. So I have trouble by the opposite side of Bolton's goats my my highlighting. Any of your friends from primary school went. Oh and none none one one school that was fully accessible in Bolton at the time. But that's wrong. Yeah you're on divided from anybody who built a relationship with because the buildings were all there was nothing. There was no form of access whatsoever in the schools closest to me so it wasn't like hi to choice. I was just really located. The school was was fantastic and I made some wonderful friends there but it was really thrown in the deep patents but disabled people shouldn't have to be relying on. Look no no no to me. Oh God no not so. It's a wrong on our behalf. The law I'm very glad. Say things have changed now and access is definitely better but yeah it changes. Do you notice. I know that the access is guests in butter in schools. Definitely though the make him more Mo- lifts in more ramps just the simple things that the legal requirement that again. Yeah things that I'll legally required boy At the time it wasn't a thing so now I definitely notice a massive difference or the time. It wasn't a definitely Wilson a choice. I wanted to go back that something. You said there in terms of language soon so I grew up saying I'm just sinead and then I realized that like you you know when I was going to school I couldn't reach the coat hook. I couldn't reach the bathrooms. I couldn't reach the tables and chairs and that was when I was a student. Never mind is the teacher but when I looked at the legislation nothing provided for like accessibility for just shades and then I was a person with the disability because I felt like person with a disability emphasized my humanity and it wasn't until it really like in the past three years maybe even five years. There's that my thinking on that has change because what I was unintentionally saying was that I only want you to consider me as a person ignore my disability. Like it's over there on the corner I don't even think about us But yet that doesn't make sense either because as you said very beautifully. It's always a part of me so I'm not. I'm not offended ended by being. I'm really proud to be abled me to a knife. Had some wonderful response. Boy How proud I am of my disability. Some people saying how can you possibly be proud to have spina Bifida is caused me such problems. It's on this. Is this Nathan White. Yes book I can use this as a tool to hopefully make the world it more accessible. And that's how I feel about it and it's always been part of me and I don't want to be sides of our of May not. Do you consider that a sense of responsibility. Yeah in a way yes I do. Think it doesn't have to be. I'm not saying I'm I'm in no way shape or form saying the old all people disabilities half do your responsibility to this. Is Your responsibility to make the change. signup choice exactly and I think I'm not going to be the final word of all things to say. Oh not at all but I do want to be able to use my position and the fantastic opportunities that I've been given to hopefully make this world on this especially industry more accessible to young people who are GonNa come into after me. Can we just take a second to just mention the fact Mike that it is exhausting. Absolutely exhausting you upset someone no matter what you say you can you can be. The most is positive a most you won't. You're not feeling positive every day. And you know my God and there are days when you just feel like crop and you just lie both. It's today and that's fine. Don't WanNA be your example. No or your inspiration. I'm not I'm not inspirational stage stages scheduled on Wednesdays and it's for forty minutes yet Wednesday morning yes the Astros have my coffee and then after that you're not getting anything from my inspiration is fraction. Do you need to find her email but it is and yet. There's this duplicity part of us. I think when you're disabled because you know I wouldn't be sitting across from you if I wasn't disabled because I wouldn't be interested in hearing other people's stories or amplifying them or facilitating them. Because I grew up desperately wanting to see myself or versions of myself or people who looked like me in institutions on the front of the classroom in a book. TV In a film. And it's like that drive to see change but before we get to film and Television I just wanted to ask you it. And how did you get here today. More transport yes train. Tell me more about that. So I mean to be fat. The Wigan Station bigger weakened station is very very accessible is fantastic. Is that geographic. So is just just outside Bolton which is where geographically just outside Manchester which is where geographically the north of England in the United Kingdom United Kingdom Europe Europe not technically actually the but Europe will move swiftly meeting said. Yeah they're great at the station and two hours on a train and I'm here in London. So perfect would you ever move to know. It's I couldn't imagine living in a city that where I would constantly be annoyed. The lack of oxygen transport options. I I would just. I couldn't live my life being permanently irritated. For the sake of a two hour commute I'm good L. L. Story I mean Manchester. We need to redesign our cities. One hundred percent badly badly. Both you and I have traveled great distances. You two hours on a train me. Two hours on a plane overseas overseas Barron trump colon. Wonderful Holiday jaunt. That was the worst accent that I think I've ever done but I think the exact same way. I don't live in certain cities because they're inaccessible and I think when we're talking about the point of representation in film television in education it it has to go beyond just the visibility piece. But what did you want to do when you were a child like we've talked about you being in school like what did you dream of doing. And being when I was five orw in primary school I wanted to be Vat and then the thought of point animals down made me completely reassess that so that wasn't a thing anymore and then I actually don't see to his school. I want to fashion design and then I've always loved writes in so went by the time I got to you. I once it's bear I to. That's why I wanted to do. And in my final year I special script writing and that was always authority going to end. It changed drastically. How did did you move on from the vision of being fashion designer? If I'm completely honest the writing side of things seemed easier because the fashion will just wasn't accessible to people like me and I felt like I would. Just this is probably me being a bit defeatist. I just felt that I would just get so many close in my face though. I thought I can do more good with my writing and hopefully change things for the best of three that and that's genuinely how I came full circle in something completely different. There's still time for you to be fashioned guys. Sign me up creative director Pigott Brown to do you want ruth pick one own my own my word who shall Alabama okay bevery so we have to get rid of recorder tissue yes and you can take the helm of bribery. I'm very very discreet. They I don't know is good. I think you doing the work and being loud and having a presence and taking up space is a requirements. We're going to work on this for the remainder of the podcast but by the end you're ready for the bridge exactly more after the break. I don't know about. Oh you but for me shoes they kind of make the outfit and when I find a great pair of shoes that cater to my size and sense of style I just have to have them. Probably three pairs exactly like them. That's why I'm so excited about my new find. 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You said you know everything changed. What was the moment that changed everything for you in terms of my career? Yeah I finished my degree and and I was doing some work for the children's territories kids they wheelchairs for disabled children and I was also doing a placement at BBC in the script gripped editing team learning a little bit about the different sides of the industry and it always amazes me how many roles there are in the industry there so many people do so many things to make one production. It's insane and I heard from a producer that they were looking for a wheelchair user. I see BBC drama and at the time it was very much like just you go. Because we don't know anyone else and there was just no other wheelchair uses in the vicinity that they knew of who seemed able and and in the industry. You know what who. Who can we use? We'll just send ruth and I went puree rollei hometown purely because I was nosy and I thought this could be useful when I'm writing linen. How they cast things a little bit about that process so I just saw is community to learn and heavily Pekar on the curtain I guess and then I had an auditor for BBC three drama? Don't say my baby and that was. That was the game changer. Right that it was my first lead role. It was a basal true story. It was really really important story about a disabled disabled Kabul who get pregnant for young and it's about social services involvement or whether or not they should keep the baby in terms of their capacity. Yeah Yeah what were the conversations the thought show ignited. It was really intr one thought that it was a true story. Yeah I learned a lot. How about the way parents with disabilities a scene in this country? And I think it's about eleven thousand cases that dealt with every year and doc completely stargate May. I couldn't believe it was that high and that in itself was a massive that the whole story actually came from those statistics wchs and Jackson tells the story beautifully and it stood up the whole thing about one part of the couple caring for the other part so so the person who I was seen alongside his character. How'd it degenerative condition? Which means he would be blind by the time he was thirty? And my character had a limited he. Life expectancy so by the time by was dead and gone. He'd be blind and caring for a baby after caring for me for all this time so it stood up so many different emotions. I found whole process so emotional to people reach out to you stories of their own. Yes I you know what. We had an incredible response and it did so well. The piece was when a BAFTA it did incredibly on the show went up after I was nominated as best actress so I feel like I one just by being nominated so that's a really cheesy line but it's so true it was unexpected. I've never been often. What was your BAFTA experience? Like you know what it was incredible the access on the red carpet. They thought of everything. It was incredible. Sadly the access to the stage wasn't so there was no rump. To the stage it was Royal Festival Hall which is very old and they have limited access in that respect but yeah afterward the most supportive people in the world but I still have to be carried on stage at the puck like my jaw is on the floor. Look what does it mean carried onstage to the back they carried you in the chair. Yeah Yeah So. How was that explained like did you told the night of book prior to when when was it said to you when you arrived that night? Yeah on the on the night yeah and year you were nominated for best actress. Yeah thank God. I didn't when a so. What was the purpose and so you were backstage waiting to see if your name would be called? No I was in the I was in the auditorium. Yeah so does the delay you see with the TV who the TV broadcasts. So when don't take my baby one we went on stage so Our eggs up Schuster surro- writer director producer or went on stage so they walked upstairs and I went round the side hours curry John and then I met them on the stage and was that carrying being on without visible onscreen at. Oh No nurse behind the curtain what. I can't believe this this so you know Allie stroger won the Tony Awards. Yeah and that was in Radio City Music Hall and she came in from behind because again. That stage wasn't accessible. Yeah but you you know. She was nominated six weeks prior to that event. So it's not like an in the bathroom. No it's not like they didn't know. Yeah Yeah I think I don't know whether it's to do his world festival hall being the barrier there and that you can't change access that but I mean account for the people who did carry me though incredibly respectful respectful and BAFTA. Were very very lovely about it. Really apologetic yes. Yes they were they did they would they were like. I'm really sorry that this is going to. By the way this is going to be a rock zesbaugh. I mean it wasn't access. Was It really the end of the day but the venue I mean. When are we gonNA start putting people before architecture? Yeah Yeah I think some again. At the time I think I was just so happy to be that and again again. I'd not done anything. I had a clue about Art Tino over awards or even BAFTA and they've been musset support to me and I know I I know through some people that they are working really hard to change that now but at the time it was a case of this is what we're gonNA tope but as we've been talking the challenges systemic so in the not just that there are no disabled talent but access to art. Schools is a challenge challenge both in terms of financial access fiscal building access. There's a lack of roles for disabled talent and then when there is disabled talent and they win and are the most talented people the room. They're not allowed except the award. I would have crawled or believe me. When don't take my baby? I was like there's no way in hell. I'm not going on the stage when I was like. I don't care if I have to crawl on stage. I am sitting on that stage. I don't care because this is a moment. This is a massive we've massively visual representation of disability and there I am I'm in my wheelchair and if I time it was like if I have to carry it onstage so be it but I. I think I'd probably become less tolerant of that kind of stuff. Now I wasn't in the days after that kind of dawning game to you. Yeah I think when people started asking me how was access because I was on a job at the time so I literally we cermony and then the next day I was straight back into work and when people started asking me and then you saw the faces when they let that I was courage. And you'll then you'll I o hung on. Yeah and then I think he I think if somebody else had told me that they were carried onstage. I'd be like well. That's not good to know. And I think that's when the realization hit. Because I think you're in the ball and it was so new so the biggest night of my life and you kind of forget all of that other stuff you just think he's fine. Just make it work and then afterwards when people ask you about it and you see the reaction. You're why are we thought snuck who and just the fact that you didn't know until you got there. Yeah Yeah I don't want to bash your head because they were really supportive but there was no trump. There was no physical access to what frustrates me most about moments like these is that they happen in places where a war horse can be built to go across is the stage or an enormous ship can be created and yet something like a rump proves impossible. There will be a trump in every single space. If I I will keep keep going for it. So to be part of that. Production and here responses from people who have children and who are disabled parents are also have disabilities unto are expecting though alike. I shouldn't have watched it so terrifying but really wonderful wonderful stories to be able to share. We'll be back just after this break. Twenty twenty is the perfect time to start thinking about twenty forty with Robin Hood. You can invest in the markets and earn interest with competitive of AP Y uninvested cash. I'm creating my budget now and I really have to be thoughtful as a single person with multiple part time roles and contracts but how I spend save and Invest Best Robin Hood makes it easy to get started and learn as you grow with an intuitive APP experience and know commission fees traits and stock prices. Don't have to hold you back. You can buy a piece of a company you love for as low as one dollar and build your portfolio a little at a time by one chair by half share three and a quarter shares. Whatever works for you your first stock is on the house? When you set up your account go to Sinead robinhood DOT COM to learn more and claim your free stock? Annual percentage yield on uninvested cash which is paid by program banks and variable Robin Hood. Financial is not a bank. The free stock offer is subject to terms and conditions. All investments involve risk other fees may apply visit or be an HD dot co Ford slash fees. Those stories are just not part. Whatever cultural norm like in Ireland we have laws and legislation? Like there's been many cases in the courts where to disabled people have tried to get married and carers. I have contested. The marriage juju assumptions about the capacity of those individual or there is legislation place that say determining the capacity of the individuals. It is illegal for them to have sex. But I'm also you know I have a contract Lazio which is the most common form of dwarfism and it's even those stories that don't enter the culture that you don't hear like should I I choose to have a child with somebody who's a little person like me. there's a one in four chance that that thesis gets double dose of the Dwarfism Gene and and doesn't survive birth I didn't learn about that until I was so how much older because who gets to tell those stories who gets to green light them within a massive broadcasting institutions and we don't hear disabled voices exactly. I've always been incredibly interested in topics picks about disability. And I've always been very interested to learn more and so I read a lot of things about it but I had no idea that in my country this this was eleven thousand in cases. Just like this. Don't take our baby. Eleven thousand every year. Eleven thousand Carpool. So I'm thinking. Oh my would if if I choose to have a child one day am I gonNA get like watched I by social services to see if I can take care of this baby well enough all. It stood up so many emotions and so many things. I wasn't even aware of what was the hardest part of the vs us. Well one being naked on TV. How was that you know so sister have thought an opinion she did? I was just about to say because I was like the decisively would have had thoughts and opinions. That wouldn't of went down to know she genuinely said if you don't do this I'm GonNa come over there. We're going to beat with a stick because you must you have to do it because I I don't want my siblings would have said they said under no no sir. No Sir and tell us exactly when it's on because we'll be in the cinema and we won't be on your watching it yet Britain. It didn't happen. It was a really interesting thing because there was a scene where Mike Hurry to. She was very reliance on her boyfriend to kind of care for her because physically she wasn't able to get into the buffalo things so he lifted her into the bath. So it showed that she was quite reliant on him for those kind of physical cool things and I had a long talk with the director producer. And I said I they were talking about different shots are they could cut it. And I have a very large scar on my back from Omar Surgeries and my body. Just it doesn't look like a lot over the bodies on TV and I was I. I want to be able to show that scar all because that is such a massive thing and some nerves about acid always swore sisters ablaze icon. I want to and she said you have to. Because if you'd seen as a teenager feud seen somebody like that like you on TV. Doing that would have been so are conic. That would have stayed in your memory for ever and so yeah I wanted to do it and I felt incredible after it. The very first audition that you did you did because somebody in the room said that they needed. You did a wheelchair user and there were like Ruth Your wheelchair user. You'll do yeah like how does that make you feel then a narrow like how did you feel within that moment like how do you build yourself to go. How do you not feel not even objectified but maybe it's different because the dream wasn't to be an actor per se but how'd you kind of go? Yeah fitting in here. I think probably looking back. I didn't take that as personally because I didn't have that. I not going to drama school and are not trained for years on end to reach this end goal of being an access so much that would feel quite hurtful if I'd spent all of the time train in Spain oxygen and then the reason I got in the room was Oh we need one like you. I think it probably helped that. I wasn't overawed by because I didn't. I don't know what it entailed. I didn't know the industry. I didn't know what it meant to be. An arts are also even audition books. I'm very in a good way Katrina. Stick in that manner. I think things do comte you. It's great to be able to just try one hundred anything. So I'm a a big believer that you end up Wyoming's wind open. I know was meant to do the sport. I think the opportunity was just my way in for. I hope. That's not the case for people coming into this industry three now I really I'd like to say is an. I will keep working to make sure that isn't the case because I don't want someone who has trained. Who has this incredible amount of Talon to get in the room purely because they need wheelchairs in the Dona? Where else to look? I hope that's not the case. I hope they get scene because of their work. And because how's the best for it. I'm very conscious that you and I were both white I'm white straight SIS. Gendered Disabled Year. So even when we talk about these. He's notions of inclusivity sure goes beyond ourselves as whatever about disabled voices not being included when they are. It's usually white disabled voices. Sushi white male straight six surrender disabled. So how do we make sure that that inclusivity is intersectional. Had we not just reiterate those kind of cycles ex-lion to some extent. Yeah absolutely I love working with as many different types of people from different backgrounds races genders sexual seizes. I can because I feel about helps. We grow both as a person and as an actress as well. So that's something that I constantly like lookout for. I wear it with some incredible writers who are from. I'm different. You know sexualities Barnes Genders religions. All of those things and I think I don't ever want to stay one subgroup people. I want to be able to expand on and land so I'm constantly skin different actors. Who aren't white onset world experience of this than this this 'cause I'm fascinated by learning? I'm from their experiences. And how similar or dissimilar they onto my own. And as he said. It's about making sure that that inclusion is explicit being. It's not going to change. If we're not cognisant glistened upper exactly. I think it would be lovely to be able to say it will just happen but it won't. I think we need to be explicit about it on so oh we don't need to be what besides your nosiness is the quality that you're most proud of resilience thing I anything come on. I'm very your resilient. I don't think this much I can't handle but I can handle really big things like really major spinal surgery kind of really all the Mossy things in the world but tiny little things soft as a sponge when it comes to such a need awesome. Nogueira needles I cry everything which is wonderful. Did you cry laugh probably yesterday. Yeah yesterday why. What made you cry my nephew? He always makes me cry because I drove him so much. He's hilarious and wonderful and just a beautiful beautiful little man he just makes me laugh and cry over time and I love that I cry when I'm sad I cry when I'm happy is just a very emotional person I think. That's what makes you a great actress. Well it's good for something by the Hoskins like why are you crying now. I'm getting my craft. I didn't go to the AURA. United you messing with my emotion speaking of practicing things. How do you practice resilience? I don't know I don't know how you would have to say. I think I often think you become resilient when you're not even aware of it and you look back and you think Oh you know what Dr should've kind of broke me and it didn't those kind of experiences is that that you've had and I think having a disability. Do I do think it makes you that little bit more resilient than you probably would have been because you almost our choice. And what's it like to live in your Buddy Levin. I love it and I think I love it with each year. That goes on. I would be lying if I said there aren't days when I hate it because of pain und- you know like any woman all this today all this today but ninety nine at the time I I love being who I am and I love being more day I wouldn't I wouldn't change it and his hand on heart people think Bush and when I say that but I mean it I wouldn't I wouldn't change it because it's taught me so much and it is it's haunt me that wander. I think I'm a lot more interested in people I think. I have a real fascination with people and their stories and the personnel season and their experiences. I love learning from people and I think a lot of that comes from Len who I am at a younger age aged. Because you're faced some things that every other fifteen year old pops might opt to face and I think that taught me a lot about myself so I'm fascinated each by people's experiences and and it has given me strength. That has made me a lot more stubborn and determined and my disability isn't define me but it definitely drives me I use is a driving force and I love that you talk about being fifteen moments that That change you. What was that moment for you? I think I mean food for Vermeille of Hud spinal surgery since those twelve years old and sadly what will not no not sadly kept going wrong so I had a one time. Spinal surgery tended to route eight. Something how do you explain that to your fifteen year old friends. I don't ever remember explaining it but I've got to like one of my best friends Who you are grow with? It was never even sation. It was just. She knew she was there with May and the same with one of my best friends from school she. It was never a conversation. She just new and now we look back and you look at how much money fifteen year old growth hardin officer is my word without having to constantly go through the the this massive bow surgery and then the recovery process after a book looking back. I mean more fantastic experiences to Souza's next to know all those emotions that he fell all of those missing out of school of follow up with homework trying to figure out what's going on in your friend group exactly social life all of those things massively effects it and it's completely out of your control and again that Stevenson that determination to just get well again quickly quickly so I could carry on lifted. It was horrible but wonderful. Same Times come through it at the other end and yeah I think for me personally. It made everything. Well you know what there's probably not much couldn't handle now. What gives you hope? You know what I've got a lot of hope. Anyway of you know. I'm quite a spiritual person I've got faith of God. I genuinely love waking up every single morning and thinking. Oh what next. What was snacks now? Then what's the mantra say to yourself. What's the voice in your head? What does that say to you every morning? Turn on the coffee machine and get shit done genuinely now. Nothing happens before coffee but Yeah just being thunk fulfill a genuinely look around especially when I'm working in an Amman. Satish Ah thank God Outlook he away. This is amazing. I get to do this for for job. I get paid to do this. And if I can change the world for the better along the way then wife's golden grade seem credible for this has been such a treat. Thank you so much for joining US tonight. You can find root in BBC. America's the watch and a number of other BBC drama series. So Oh go and Google and she's also on stage for just a few more days through February. I in a play called Teenage Dick at the Donmar warehouse in London. So so if you've nothing to do over the next few days or if your schedule is entirely packed make room for this show and for routes performance on next week's episode of as me. I had the incredible chance to be in Los Angeles with the extraordinary actress. Mara Wilson who you may know as Matilda or the cute kid from miracle on thirty Fourth Street for now the incredible writer I really got to know her and you will get to hear all about what it's like to live in the shadow. The big roles that she played as a child as well as some of the health challenges that she grapples with like OCD and anxiety always very nervous. And I'm always flipped out I'm Bid Very doubting person. I think I doubt myself I doubt everything around me. I don't know if that's because I have. OCD which is sometimes called the doubting disease. I think it's just in my nature to sort of second. Guess everything not trust the world around me. I grew up near the San Andreas fault. You know like the earthquake fault and I have the sort of allegorical relationship with peddling things can shift at anytime continuing the themes ahve disability and film and television. Well it's award season after all. This week's person you should know is meredith. Eaton Meredith like me is a low person but she has a different form of dwarfism and in many ways has been changing the perception of people who looked like me on television. Meredith is a phenomenal actress. Who you may know from macgyver? Yeah really macgyver. If you're not already familiar with meredith where this is the moment in which I recommend you to do so maybe even follow her on instagram. You can find her. They're asked the Murray going to spell that for you because almost certainly didn't pronuncia takes with T. A. G. M. E. or the A. T. O. N. gopher as me with sinead lemonade media original and is executive produced by Jessica Cordova Kramer assistant produced by Claire. Jones an edited by Ivan Cure. F- music is by Rome right. Our sales and distribution partners Westwood one. If you've liked what you've heard don't be shy. Tell your friends or listening. Subscribe on Apple Stitcher spotify or wherever you like to listen and rate and review as well to continue the conversation find me on instagram and twitter at at the park and find lemonade media on instagram twitter and facebook Outta media

access Sinead robinhood Spina Bifida director producer London BBC Bolton writer Michael Bennett US Mara Wilson NFL Mike Hurry asthma Eaton Meredith Robin Hood U. T. H. P. E. AC
164 - The Faceless Old Woman (Live)

Welcome to Night Vale

26:13 min | 6 months ago

164 - The Faceless Old Woman (Live)

"Hey y'all Jeffrey Craner here speaking to you on a bad microphone from a hotel room in Northampton Massachusetts where we just begin our tour of our new live show the haunting of Night Vale and just as we began that tour. We had to postpone that tour. It's public health. You understand so. We're in the process of rescheduling. All are marching dates in the US. Right now we don't have new dates for you yet but we'll tell you the second we get them. Stay tuned to our twitter at night. Ville radio or at welcome tonight. Field Dot com slash live to get updates on our postponements and rescheduled dates. If you have questions about tickets or refunds please contact the ticket seller directly. I promise you this is a great show and we will get to perform it for you some day. In the meantime one thing you can do without going out into the world is to get our new novel the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home available March twenty four th wherever you buy your books online and the audio book is narrated by our own Mara. Wilson cannot explain inwards. How excited I am to get this book out into the world. It's not too late to preorder your copy at welcome tonight. Ville DOT com slash books and folks who preorder and live in the US can get exclusive patches and assign art print. Just go to welcome tonight. Fell DOT com slash books for more so in honor of this new novel. We're taking a brief intermission from our five part episode series about the missing passengers of Delta flight. One eight seven one three to bring you this live show of the faceless old woman we did last year in La please enjoy and hey wash your hands. I'm really excited. We wrote the script recently coming up in this last performance for tonight and I got real excited for for writing. We hadn't written a lack of to do a live show full length in in a new voice and it was A. It was a lot of fun to do yes tonight. We are presenting the first welcome tonight. Phil show that is entirely from the point of view. Someone who is not see so this is this is the time win. The face old woman who secretly lives in your home gets to step out from her secret place in your home and and tell you a little bit about herself one of my favorite things about writing the faceless old woman stuff is is it because the way Joseph and I work is this that will will write episodes or right parts of episodes and then pass it to the other and that person will sometimes have questions but oftentimes just like maybe add something to it so a lot of times. It's either when I get stuff back from Joseph and I don't know if he feels the same way getting stuff back from me it's a with a faceless old one script it was always either something really hilarious or something really upsetting and. I really really loved that a lot. This is maybe the most upsetting thing we've ever written. I hope you guys enjoy it. I guess we should start. Start with that. That show we talked about it. Let's do it you guys. Let's welcome to the stage your friend and ours Mara Wilson I am the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home. Hello you don't know me but I know you. I know you very well. I think going through your medicine cabinet. You take too much advil. You realize how hard that is on your digestion. I know a couple gel caps and a glass of water before bed can alleviate morning hangover but it also puts you in a bad mood because you don't get good sleep with all that extra stress you put on your guts. No it's a better hanger procure not drinking like it's the last day of Community College. I replace Your Vodka with clear. Windex and your advil within Macaque. This won't help your hangovers. But it certainly will be more entertaining for me. I don't sleep so I need better late night. Entertainment Than Net flicks. I've already watched every episode of Money Heist and Criminal Man Planet Documentary. I have to spice it up a little bit. Which reminds me? Sorry about the Tarantula incident last week and here I'm speaking specifically to you. Tony yes you in the sheriff. The one hoping I'm not talking about you. I'm not sorry. You woke up at the Tarantula covering your face nor that it bit you causing your eyelids to swell up like kinder- eggs filled with curent discharge instead of toys. I am sorry that I forgot to turn the flash off on my camera which alarmed both you and the spider and I never got a good photo. I've been building my portfolio for an art exhibit. I call gross things on a sleeping. Tony it's going up June first exclusively in your living room. I've already got an open Mouth Centipede K. FRAMED. You're GONNA find this. Show absolutely terrific terrific. What's the word terrifying Tony? You're one of my favorites Night Vale. I know you hate your direct marketing. Jobs selling high interest credit cards to twentysomethings but the benefits are great. You have health care a 401k and you get to take advantage of people less fortunate than you. Everything is its own reward. But I've read your poetry. You love poetry to be fair. There isn't a big job market for poets. But you need to explore. What makes you happy? I tattooed one of my favorite lines of poetry on last month. It's by Mary. Oliver instructions were living life. Close Your eyes be scared. Good luck and then. I drew a little butterfly next to the words. I'm not the best artists though. So it kind of looks like a radish Laura. Sarcoma doesn't matter. You still haven't noticed it's just right below your right shoulder blade. Don't try to find it now. It's still healing and given that I use the metal rod from that found. Do set in your closet as the needle it's possible it's infected. Better leave it alone. Tony Look at me. Imagine where my eyes would pay. You have a lot to work through. I'm here to help you. I really am operated by giving some advice if a venomous Arthur pod is on your face. Don't scream anyway it's not you. Tony. Who's bothering me. It's the New People. They are elderly like me and they just moved into a house in the center of Knight. Fail or maybe. This is decades from now. Time is a little hazy for me. I had never been in this house nor noticed it before they moved in. It's a one bedroom and there are three of them. I thought poly-amorous they have three separate beds and they never speak to each other. Rarely look at each other and never leave the home. The first night I secretly lived in their home realized they never slept either. They brush their teeth put on pajamas and get into bed but they all lie. There is open through silent hours of darkness. I tried whispering to them but got no response. Usually when I reveal myself in the dark I get the thrill of witnessing horror don across a person's to stored at mouth and bulging eyes as they see my faceless face pressed up against their own one of the best parts of visiting new residents. But not these three thrones. I'm the Frieden one speaking of frightening. Did you get your taxes for an excellent time? Alex you you're Alex you with the shoes. I had to file an extension. I don't owe any money because I have no income but I'm over two hundred years old. Never got a social security number. Have No permanent address and I wasn't born in this country. It's a lot of Paperwork Alex. Your wife is terrible and I was having a hard time downloading the forms. I needed so I just wrote. My name on some Yellowish Black Boston lettuce. You've left on the crisp over the last three weeks but the leaves kept falling apart really more like melting after about twenty minutes. I got frustrated and just made myself a salad also. I use the last few PARMESAN cheese. But don't worry. I replaced it with dried skin. I've been collecting from your bed sheets. Don't be grossed out Alex same texture nutritional value you know the difference. I got the idea from food. Network's beat Bobby. Flay where this one winner tied up bobby and ran mike replant across his forehead to make. Chimney Cherry Sauce. I love that show but I'm a bigger fan of HDTV's house hunters the desert dystopia inversion. That's where I'm at you Eddie. Yes you but the face you were shopping for a new home here in Night Vale. You told the realtor who was inside of a living dear it's belly horrifically distended in quivering with every one of the agents words into allegations that you want three bedrooms a backyard and something close to an outdoor community space. The first home the yard was not in good shape. Lots of human remains in the lawn was glowing. Perhaps from underground radiation testing. It was well under your budget but you would have had to spend your savings on fixing it up also in the bathroom mirror. You saw crawling across the ceiling. A face this old woman devouring what looked like a rat. You didn't need to worry about Iraq at Penn station. Natty WHO's a chipmunk? The second home was a condo right in the heart of the Arts district. You'd loved the design a simple large black cube. No doors no windows no interior. A true closed floor plan so popular these days. But you weren't sure there was enough room for entertaining or anything else at all. The houses elected was perfect. Three bedrooms a Jacuzzi suites and the large patio backyard. Plus it was right in the middle of town next to the Community Dog Park. Although you would be disappointed later to learn that your dog had been arrested for domestic espionage after being inside the park's been walls. I think you made the right choice addy but I can't help wondering every time I watch house hunters. Who is this person running away from? You left Queens Move Night Vale. Queens is where your family lives while your best friend's lives and your girlfriend of two years. Are you afraid of stasis Eddie of being loved of commitment you might might be afraid of that pinkish? Who's coming out of your air might WanNa see an ent about that or if not an entomologist speaking pudding wood boring beetles inside orifices. I tried a similar thing with the Elderly Roommates. Who recently moved to town or who moved to town many years from now again. Time is strange for me but these roommates are also so strange when I went to put a beadle into one of their ears. I notice a lot of scar tissue. They're making the whole too small in my haste. The Beatles scurried away and I got kind of desperate and just made a bunch of Spooky moans and his is like this but not one of the three responded to me. They continued their meaningless pantomime of sleeping in the morning make got up and each went quietly about their days. One of them made coffee but did not drink it day then went to the window and waved at their neighbors. Susan Wildman who was on our porch stretching before her morning run. Susan looked at the figure in the window. Next to her and froze. She stared and Tara than darted back into her home and locked the door. Susan has always been on friendly Iran her bedsheets through her office shredder as a reminder to be more open and loving toward the world's the other two roommates climbed into the shower at the same time. I'm not wanting to get off on other sexual activities. I just thought I might see something new something human here but no. They stood side by side cleaning their cold. Gravity defeated bodies not once looking at each other alone speaking a squelch squish in grey water falling around yellow toenails the towel off but when they hung towels up those towels or completely dry. I'm used to being the one who does inexplicable and disturbing things last year during the community players production of Romeo and Juliet. I decided it would be more fun if they used actual poison but it was a last minute idea so the only poison I could find was borax which just gave the two kids playing the lead. Several unhappy hours in the bathroom the night after the show ended so. I don't know I could've made a stronger vettori choice. But so could the actual director I get that. Shakespeare play our long but he cut out all the best parts like the train robbery and also tabled winning his Bowling League. Although I did appreciate that. They left in Juliet's famous line goodnight. Goodnight your blood and guts. Mero which worms shall eat inside your grave so narrow. It's a classic story kids as just. Don't try to fake their own deaths anymore and Morgan. Yes Morgan I'm talking to you. You with the fingernails and teeth. I need to explain something to you. You tip twenty percent. You can afford it. Stop using it as a measure of how much you approve of the restaurant service. A twenty percent tip is not a bonus. It is a fee restaurant owners. Don't pay their staffs and said they make the diners pay their employees through this idiotic notion of capitalistic meritocracy. I don't care how about the service tip them. You have money Morgan. I would also tell you to stop asking to speak to a manager every time you're long island. Iced tea is a bit late but I cut out your tongue last month so they wouldn't understand you anymore anyway. Do you know what a cooked human tongue tastes like. Morgan yes you do. You just don't know that you do remember applebee's last week ordered soup. It was a beef-based with little onions. And little perfectly sauteed flex of your own tone that you would use to lash out at the manager of the last time you ate there. You could blame them for poorly expediting your orders but really the onus is on you for going to applebees which serves neither are the items. It's name promises. It's it's false advertising. It's like an egg cream soda or Taco Bell. Speaking of eating the elderly roommates made lunch together but not for each other. They were all in the kitchen at the same time. Making separate meals and silence. They sat around the dining room table together in age. They carved and stabbed and pushed foods quickly into their mouths but their eyes were empty. One of them began to spit out their food. No one seemed to care a notice. They all began to vomit but not with muscular heaves of shoulders necks vomits spurted out like water from my hand-pumped their torsos and heads perfectly still. After each bodily rejection of food they would start shoveling it back into their mouths repeating the same process. Eventually one of them stood up and through their plate into the kitchen window glass bursting everywhere that person leaned into the hole and began punching the jagged shards out with our clenched fist. As blood poured out of their forearms and wrists. They screamed mournfully into the suburban streets. Neighbors and passer bys pass only briefly as if they had barely sad howl spreading across the valley. Susan's lemon tree. Next door died instantly and all of the lemons fell with plops to the ground. The fruit peel dope at an inside of each was a fleshy Crimson. Pulp like meat. That has been ground for too long. The other. Two roommates kept eating vomiting. Not even noticing shattering not even noticing the shattered glass being subsumed by the growing pool of blood on the floor. You know I wasn't always like this tasteless or old secretly living anywhere. Once I was born upon warm water the smell remember is sharp citrus and the peppery sting of grass. The salt fungus ocean was once a child agreed. Once I smelt blood. Once I was a thief I lived among thieves. Empires rise and fall. Centuries cast themselves upon infinity fruitlessly as waves upon cliffs. Once I was a recluse I lived amongst bandits and farmers I spoke a different language. Then I've spoken many languages. Once I was under the sea. That was a quiet time. I lived amongst the coralline. Did I fish once. I was a wanderer. I've seen the headwaters of the Mississippi and I've seen the cobbled streets of Perez and I've seen the empty arches of Francia. I've never seen anything like those three roommates. All the things I've been child. Faith recluse wanderer basis woman who secretly live secure home. I'll tell you this I've never been more scared. There is in the unknowing in the mystery. Fear is seeing everything about an old woman except her face. Here is the uncertainty of her secretly. Living in your home fear is not the spider you see on the wall. It's a spider. You no longer see on the wall when you look back again in the unnerving din of shattered glass and mournful howls. In that house. I found a loose read that unravel this mystery. The roommate who had no tongue the roommate who in one of the others had an ear swollen shot from a previous surgery and the other had a red mark like a radish or sarcoma adorned with poetry drawn upon their shoulder blade. I realized I knew these three strange roommates. There you tony the Special Tattoo I gave you and they are you at with your oral scar tissue from the beadle jammed in there and Hugh Morgan with your tongue removed and digested. The three of you do not exactly live together in that home. Not at the same time. You're living three different lifetimes in that same space. Do not speak our respond because you are dead you alone in that house together or you will be times confusing for me decades from now after you die. Your souls will be trapped in the house because something in this world is unresolved for you. You know this. Paranormal neurosciences required for all high school freshman. But what they don't teach you is how to resolve it. I know how and when each one of you die. I read it down in the back. Pages of your journals. I've done this for everybody but nobody ever reads it because while people always think though right every day after few pages they fall off the wagon and never see the last pages of their journals except Jonathan Franzen. He didn't seem bothered by what he read but he did cross out all my adverbs and added some Oxford Commas. In case you're wondering how Jonathan Franzen dies here's the answer he doesn't I am the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home you might find this. Ambiguous after all the word home is singular. So whose home is that. I secretly live in. Listen some things in this tangled world are simple? I live in your home and your home and your home. I live in all of your home's simultaneously. I am many I am many. I am one I am one you all live. Such different lives teaming. That's what you are teaming and I'm there watching you you tony. You dream of being a poet resolve the unresolved. The worse that can happen is crushing disappointment and public mockery. When you can't pay rent many more awful things after that get to it and you eddy. You fled your previous city to escape murder charge. Strangely you did not commit the murder. You are charged with but you have committed murder. We are choice to go on house a wanted fugitive but maybe it was a good first step to healing her soul. And you Morgan. You have an idea that could save us all an epoch defining idea one of the greats. But you don't know which one keep so many ideas I can tell you this. Most of them are not important. One of them is vitally important. Good luck also tip twenty percent and you forget your name. You tweet much. We all tweet too much but that doesn't let you off the hook. That's why I ate your phone. You can thank me later. You can thank me later because you all will be saying me soon. I think tonight is the night to let slip my secrets. He'll soon see me fumbling wet and gray from out of the Bathroom Mirror were folded up strangely loose skin mashed bones and the bottom drawer of your dresser or you will say me scuttle on your walls. The hair hanging down from my face was face or you will look at your kitchen window and there will be someone standing in your driveway and it will be me and there will be no one in your driveway instead I will be next to you in the kitchen faceless some very very old on that be nice. I'm faceless old woman who secretly in your home your home and your home and every home and I will be seeing you Mary. Welcome to night. Vale is a production of Knightdale presents it is Britain by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Craner and produced by disparition the voice of the faceless old woman is Mara Wilson Original Music by Dispersion. All of it can be found at disparition dot info at disparition dot band. Camp DOT COM. This episode had no weather clear skies at last comments questions. Email us at Info at welcome to Night Vale Dot Com. Follow us on twitter at nightfall radio or a sorry. I got distracted by that. Weird thing behind you check out welcome to Night Vale Dot Com for Info about our new novel the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home out March twenty fourth. Today's proverb never judge a book by its cover. Judge it by the title page instead. Hi It's Joseph Fink. My friend Jeffrey. I created welcome to Night Vale. Back in twenty twelve normally worthy ones turning ideas into writing but for our brand new show. Start with this. It's you who will do the creating on each episode will talk about a topic of the creative process. Then we will give you two short assignments something to consume and something to create. You can share your work on our membership for him to see what other people are up to. We want you to start creating one simple assignment at a time because the best way to start writing is to start writing. Find it wherever you get your podcasts.

Hugh Morgan Mara Wilson Tony Look Night Vale Joseph Fink Night Vale Susan Wildman twitter Jeffrey Craner US Night Vale Dot Com Night Vale Dot Com Delta La advil Queens Move Night Vale Northampton Massachusetts Alex
145 - The Veterans

Welcome to Night Vale

28:33 min | 1 year ago

145 - The Veterans

"Hey, Jeffrey Craner here. First things first I'm super excited to tell you that season two of I only listen to the mountain goats premiers on April four that's just a few days away. This season was recorded during the production of the new mountain goats album in league with dragons. And we'll give listeners an unprecedented. Look at the creative process. You don't have to be a mountain goats fan to enjoy this show is for anyone who is interested in how art gets made stay tuned after the credits for a short teaser for. I only listen to the mountain goats and search for it wherever you listen to podcasts. Second thing second. We just announced that we're bringing a spy in the desert Tidewater Comecon twenty nineteen in Virginia Beach on may eighteenth and nineteenth will be performing both nights. And tickets are available to both con attendees and general public so get tickets now at welcome tonight. Bill dot com slash live while you're there. Check out our July tour dates and our special one off nightmare. Presents show on April twenty-seventh in Los Angeles, featuring new shows from Alice's dead within the wires, and a brand new welcome tonight Vel script entirely from the voice of the faceless old woman. Played by Mara Wilson, all that. At welcome tonight. Bill dot com slash live. And last things last you can now preorder signed dishes of our upcoming episode collections from mysterious galaxy books check out Jessica Hayworth's gorgeous covers for volumes three and four of the script books and pre-order. Your copies today at welcome tonight. Ville dot com slash books, and hey, cool jeans. Fake it to you make it Mike it till you like it book it till you look it. Welcome to night fail. More soldiers of the blood space war have returned home tonight Vale another craft landed in the cornfield of John Peters. You know, the farmer beings of a stunning structure emerged alongside four human figures. In speak suits, the astronauts removed their helmets to reveal they are nightfall residence. James peters. You know, the brother of John Peters. You know, the farmer twins, drew, and Dan christianson and junior Blais. These veterans of the interstellar conflict were welcomed by the citizens of Nashville with hugs oppressed, band and delicious unsold big goods leftover from last month's PTA bake sale to support the blood space war the returning soldiers. Thank the gathering, but warned night Vale of the polonium armies of star system Lacayo nine three five two who are encroaching at this moment. Upon our own galaxy Admiral junior Blais of the sixty third mounted cavalry said the polonium are ruthless killers. They are three times the size of humans with hundreds of sharp teeth up and down there many bone this limbs, they have only one eye which really messes up their depth perception Blake said, but that I can also shoot out. Lasers. So it sort of six of one way half dozen the other the crowd did not hear most of what the veterans had to say. As they were mesmerized by the beings of stonning structure, standing atop the lending ramp of their disc shaped craft. Oh, those sergeant Dan Christensen said there are allies there from the battle station Wolfgang. They have no home planet as it was destroyed millennia go by the Polonia NHS the crowd pointed and shouted interlopers of astonishing structure at the beings. But Lieutenant drew christianson said, they have no oral or written language. They cannot understand your noises. Drew, then did a kind of be boy pop in luck dance move and the beings of stunting structure replied with the belletti prince before entering their ship. And departing they said, thanks. But this place is weird. Drew christianson interpreted for the crowd. Dan, and drew christianson were born in night Vale in nineteen twelve they became tax accountants, they had wives and children. They donated to the old night Vale opera house and were avid sports fans. The even started the first ever semi pro Santa key league Dan passed away in nineteen Ninety-four of liver cancer, Andrew passed away weeks later of a heart attack. They were survived by their wives children and grandchildren. But upon returning tonight. Ville this week these one hundred and seven year old men looked to be in their late twenties. The cushions twins have attempted to reunite with their families, but they were unrecognizable to their grandchildren. Who are now middle aged and win Dan Andrew tried to apply for jobs, they were declined on account of an antiquated law that makes it illegal to higher the debt junior Blais. A fifty year old man said he was born in twenty twenty two to Oliver and Linda Blais of old town night Vale, the Blais family was contacted about this and said they had not planned to ever have children. So junior will likely have been an accident or a dramatic change of heart. Blais was wounded in his first combat assignment and returned home for treatment. He suffered third degree burns across his abdomen and arms and needs a skin graft, but the night Vale VA has to wait on approval for the red Mesa VA to clear his procedure which could take weeks. Jim Peters was. Honorably discharged from service and was heavily decorated with chevrons and metals but his face sagged with exhaustion and history. His brother John was the first degree to him. But Jim could not match his brother's tearful enthusiasm. Jim had seen too much experienced too much to ever feel normal again in light of the physical, financial and spiritual crush on these men the city council announced that it would paint. A giant American flag atop city hall and play John Philip Sousa's famous patriotic March bodak yellow at all hours of the day over a loudspeaker and the whole town cheered proudly for they were truly taking care of our vets. Let's look at sports the knightdale high school wheelchair basketball team, captain by junior point guard. Janice. Palmer won their semi-final game last night against cactus park, high school seventy to fifty eight forward Quinn, boom and led the team with twenty points and also had eight rebounds and Tennessee STS the scorpions fell behind by sixteen points in the first half, but really found their inspiration at halftime coach Jack abide McPhee told his team not to get down on themselves because it's impossible to make every single shot. You just have to have fun McPhee, then took out an acoustic guitar and sang the following original song. Physics is science made up numbers. So we can only make good pass the ball like food. When it leaves. Because you know, what that ball is gonna do. Physics of beta. Drew so weaken not make killing and pass the ball like food. Yes, we can only make Joe and pass the ball like fools. The team relinquish the illusion of control and dominated the second-half offensively the scorpions face pine cliff this Saturday afternoon in the district tournament final. So let's get out there and support our team really root for the ball to go into the. The the, you know, the thing that the bowl is supposed to go into. And this has been sports senior strategic advisor Jameson Archibald at the intergalactic military headquarters speaking from an inflatable raft atop an Infinity pool filled with Remmy Martin black Pearl cognac said he and his top strategists in the intergalactic military headquarters. Still have no idea what the blood space war is about. But they're glad to learn that the polonium armies are approaching we've got all this money piling up for the war, and we're getting bored with hosting Lamborghini. Demolition derbies Archibald said the government keeps sending us cash, and we're like, okay, y'all. But like what are reasons to that? And the feds are like I don't care start a war or something. But unfortunately, the government allotment for an interstellar war was wiped out on a failed investment in tech start up that was pitched them as the Uber of Netflix of Facebook by a seven-year-old wearing a suit. So the intergalactic military headquarters was forced to ask for contributions, hence, the PTA bake sales. Additionally, these sheriffs secret police were able to provide several armored combat vehicles to tons of enriched uranium and a satellite activated missile launching system. All of which had been donated to the secret police by the US army sheriff Sam said they had wanted to keep all that high tech battlegear, but using a nuclear submarine to stop night Bill citizens who were fishing without a license created what sheriff's referred to as low. Less than satisfactory optics. Archibald said he was a preemptive of the secret police as charity, but he just received word that the polonium ships are already within the outer limits of our solar system. So not sure there's much left to do really even took out a roll of one hundred dollar bills from his shirt pocket and ate it like a Snickers bar and updates on the high school basketball tournament. The city council announced that there will be a parade for the team win or lose next Tuesday evening. The parade will feature giant floats in the shapes of famous basketball players such as Oscar Robertson, Larry Bird and little bow. There will also be a celebrity appearance by Lee Marvin who will be celebrating his thirtieth birthday on Tuesday. All happy birthday. Mr. Marvin the city council expressed civic pride in this talented team of young. Athletes at enjoined all of night failed to come out in celebration of sportsmanship for guardless of the outcome of the championship game. Of course, the single body entity of the city council said with uncharacteristic mirth with think our team will win the city council's many faces than winked in unison. Also, the city council added if you look up in the sky, you'll see that a large chunk of the moon just exploded and the earth is surrounded by enemy spacecraft, but there's not much we can do about that. So let's just cheer on our best ball team. The city council then held up there many fists and squealed JT as pieces of the moon began to thunder down around us. Let's go now to today's weather. So today's go. Food. Gotta love Baid boo to square way. Since god. By Chuck good too. You wanted to know. Fi. Then drew. It was so many things it's just. Woods. John. Judd. All the. God. If I could. Rush. Maybe the. Prices. Joe? And research every single. One. Do you? Oh. Be. For them on a better day. Sewer guest days. Go don't be. I guess sued. Maybe. Just. Good. Much. And do something. Halfway decent with wasted. I've just received an Email from Harrison, Kip archaeology professor at night fell community college Kipp told me that while ought to dig in nineteen Ninety-three he and his team of researchers found remnants of several spacecraft buried deep in central Nevada. Gipp was studying fossilized remains to determine eating habits of early North American habitants, but what he found several train gular titanium vessels each roughly the size and shape of a Burger King. You tried to check his notes from that excursion. But those pages had been torn out of his journal. Despite this. He's positive the ships. He can see above our earth or identical to the ones found crashed in the desert twenty five years ago inside those ships were creatures the size of hippos with long dangling limbs covered in sharp teeth, Kip remembers calling the college to ask for more funding for this research. But before he could do anything a black van drove up to the dig site and several men wearing business suits that were patterned in desert camouflage got out, they arrested Kip, and his assistance and had them reprogrammed. Kip said the reprogramming was successful. Until today when you heard my news reports about the Polonia NHS this memory suddenly returned him. And now he believes he knows exactly what has happened in the blood space war and how we will end it. He's going to type notes while they're still fresh in his mind and get them over to me up. This is so very exciting. Science saves the day once again. Here's a female from Harrison it sits. See soul disregard, whatever I said earlier. I don't even remember what it was some guys I didn't know should up and put a metal helmet on me. There were a bunch of wires knobs. And let's coming out of it on felt so peaceful and comfortable like when you're eating offals with ice cream binge-watching terrace house, anyway, I don't remember what I sent since all meals deleted. So whatever it was couldn't have been that important. Sincerely harrison. No, no. This is terrible. Okay. I'm going to forward Harrison's, I E mail back to him to see if it rejoins memory. We've got to learn exactly what. Hello. Low there. Listeners. There are some men entering my studio. They're wearing business suits made from the desert camouflage pattern, fabric, Q Chee. I love it. They're putting this crazy hat on me. And it has a bunch of lights and wires hang on Bill. Listen to this interview. I recorded earlier today with John Peters, you know, the farmer. These boys are here. Trying to get me ready for fashion week. I think. Jam came home this week and us real happy, happier. No, pigs starring in his own TV. Show 'bout pig. Detective solvent pig murders. My brother taught me play football. When we was boys. Throw the ball and say Johnny move your hands together like salad tongs when the ball gets near you. That's called catch. I tried so hard to catch that ball. I never could. We have fun. Jim taught me so much and he took care of me running off the bullies at school by me soda pops and candy canes from this man who lived in the trunk of broken down fifty six Chevy an alley on the post office. I'm almost sixty years old, and my brother left for the war back when I was fifteen and see him again boy to see his face after so long. He ain't changed one bit. He literally is same age as Winnie left. Twenty two years old. But he's not to sing, Jim. He don't want to throw the football or go looking for discount sodas and candy and weird alleys. Now, Jim look sad his body strong. But his mind seemed so weak some crying the other day not told him. What are pop always said to his Jim was don't cry not without talking to their feelings with someone else? So I'll put my arm around young. Jim I must have looked like a Granddad me so old him so young. But our memories of each other. We're the same age Jim crowd into my shirt and said Johnny abandon that war for darn near a hundred years. That's a lot of space travel. Not a lot of fighting. But when there is fighting it's gruesome Jim said, he didn't wanna see no more war. But he said that in his last battle. He risked his life to disarm bummed that woulda killed ten of his fellow soldiers. And one of them was the general the general has a play. And first ceasefire Jim said, the general has a plan for peace. I think the general needs me, Johnny. I said JIMBO I need you. But I knew that I'd been without him for forty years while this general was with them for nearly a hundred on new ostlund, Jim myself. Jim hug, Monday and kiss my cheek he donned his spacesuit and walked out into the cornfield and disappeared. I think my brother's going to save us all. Anyway, it's sad story. But it's also happy like a Goeke playing piano stories carry lots of different emotions all at once. All right listeners. I'm back. I don't remember what I was talking about nowhere. I got this really cool hat, but city council nounce that these spaceships that were surrounding our planet are gone, but they were deeply nerve by the fact that the ships did not retreat, they simply disappeared the city council, then added that the moon is still broken. But honestly, they see this as a crisis. Tune ity to buy a new one. Oh, don't forget to come to the basketball championship parade on Tuesday. Stay to next for simultaneous panic and relief as you realize all of your emails are gone. Good night night. Vale good night. Hey night. Ville don't miss the new CBS all access original series. That will make you ask yourself. What dimension? Are you? Even in stream the twilight zone hosted and narrated by kademi award winner. Jordan Peele in a role made famous by the classic series creator. Rod Serling this mind-bending reimagining, we'll take you through the John RAs of scifi horror and fantasy to explore humanity's hopes and fears prides and prejudices in a way, you've never thought possible. Until now, by the way, I'm thrilled to see the cast in the show Camille Mahn, Johnny. Adam Scott, Nelson Tolman are some of my favorites. Plus, everything Jordan Peele does now is mandatory viewing for me. The twilight zone is now streaming exclusively on CBS all access new episodes every Thursday crossover into another dimension. Visit CBS dot com slash night. Vale to redeem your free trial today that CBS dot com slash night. Vale too. Redeem your free trial of CBS all access. Logan tonight Vale is a production of knightdale percents. This episode was written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Craner and produced by disparition, the voice of night Vale is see so Baldwin the voice of John Peters. You know, the farmer was Mark gag Liatti. Original music disparition all of it can be found at disparition dot info or at disparition dot band camp dot com. This episode's weather was no good day. Bye windows to the sky. Find out more at windows to the sky dot com. Comments questions Email us at info at welcome to night, Vale dot com or follow us on Twitter at night, Ville radio or go to a farmer's market and order off the secret menu checkout. Welcome tonight, Vail dot com. For more information on our upcoming live tours and our special one off live show at the Largo in Los Angeles. Today's proverb develop your chief really work that she hard. Get six pack Chee totally swollen with Chee roll up those sleeves and welcome people to the show. Hi, I'm Joseph Fink. And I only listen to the mountain goats is the show where I talk with John Dr Neal of the band, the mountain goats about what it means to be a fam- to be an artist. And as most of us are to be both at once. We're back for a second year. But this time we're trying something different and a little risky about a week and a half ago, you sent an Email being like, hey, I have an idea that's gonna make our lives more difficult. But I think will be really interesting makes everybody else's life. Send mine this year. We will be discussing the brand new mountain goats album in league with dragons and album that was still in the process of being made win these conversations where recorded neither one of us really knows. We'll be talking about the songs themselves and about the performances that you've heard, but the final product is pretty different. We are dealing with literally an album that isn't even done yet. This'll be the first time I'm talking about any of it to anybody for the most part, we will talk through the new album. Track by track. Each episode will include the original home demo of the song. So that we can follow the work all the way through the final version released to the public recorded over several months during the production of the album this season gives you an unprecedented conversation about the creative process while it is still happening. I Hugh people talk about and I see them live blog. It's one writing an album ends. I don't do that. When I'm starting. I have to be in this amorphous place of just writings, I write all the time with many of my Lewis, I'm in the same situation as a reader, I just write what I write. I don't usually say let me write about this. All right. A bunch of songs you'll hear go there. Who knows what the feel like? And then sometimes you notice that a couple of them are holding hands or you feel like one of them represents growth, or if you like one of them, really expresses something true. You got a little brave. You went somewhere a little less safe. I only listened to the mountain goats the new season arrives on April fourth wherever you get your podcasts.

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32: The Best of Season 1

As Me with Sinéad

33:55 min | 4 months ago

32: The Best of Season 1

"This episode of as me is brought to you by better help which I've recently been using even in the best of times but our help online. Counseling is there for you know when it is as hard as ever to go outside without worrying. Better helped might be exactly the solution you need. They offer licensed professional counselors. Who Specialize in issues such as depression stress relationships grief self esteem anxiety. And WHO's not feeling anxious? These days go better health dot com slash as me a s. Emmy today. Fill out a questionnaire. Help them assess your needs and get much with the counselor that you'll love as a special offer for my listeners. Get Ten percent off your first month with the code as me. Don't delay get better help today. A better help dot com slash Azmi. Welcome to Azmi which tonight on this episode. I wanted to reflect back on some of my favorite moments from this first season. Can you list each of the questions? That every interviewee was asked there. Were at least four pillars to every conversation. How do you describe yourself personally professionally? What's it like to live in your body? What's your inner monologue? And what gives you hope? There are other questions. Like what are the moments that changed you? What advice would you give to your younger? So this entire season told me so much. It taught me explicitly that we are also different based on where we're born the bodies that we live in the religions we believe cultures we practice and the values that our parents and friends and family sale upon us. Not actually that different. What we care about what we love. What we fear are similar yet. This world was constructed to divide us to create animosity between differences and this show taught me that the universality of her experience something. We need to articulate and talk about more and more because it unites us. They creates empathy and human connection and in many ways has the power to change the world. I wanted to do this show. Because having the very beginning there was the power of an audio medium to not necessarily hide my disability to shy away from articulating. That I'm a little person. But it created a vulnerability in the guests and in me that have felt like just two of us were in a room nobody listening and maybe at the time when we were recording. There wasn't anybody but it gave us such freedom without performance to just be ourselves and when the show started. I didn't over those things would be possible. I'd never hosted a podcast before I done interviews via my blog but I didn't have much experience but now thirty two episodes in I'm more confident than ever the vulnerability empathy kindness curiosity and humanity the tenets that we need to survive and to be better people. Some of these moments are things that we all universally experience like counting to live in our bodies have that can be uncomfortable. Let's because of age or societal biases or just discomfort with ourselves. But other moments they're not necessarily the universality of our experience in the sense that we all live in bodies but they dig deep into our emotional so the excavators they figure out what makes his worry. What makes us tick? What concerns US have how is relating? That can feel even though when we say these things out loud. Find PEOPLE NODDING ALARM. They get they've been there to maybe not in this moment but the fluent in that which I wanna start off with what. It's like to live in our bodies one of the reasons why I wanted to ask. This question is because so much of my experience and the Lens through which are viewed. The world has been disciplined based on the body that I give but almost like an oxymoron. I- spent most of my life not conscious of the body that I live. I'm not reminded that I'm until I can't read something or somebody points me out. So even though like physicality is the rationale behind so many of the decisions that I make it's also unconsciously embedded that I forget about it entire life. I'm really I wanted to work out. And to listen and to learn from others to see their experience of their bodies differ for mine. So let's start with you hoes. You're an IRA et as opposite as it gets particularly when it comes to looks. I mean he's six six so I love hearing the ways that he worked through his own body and figured out how to be comfortable in his own skin. I remember sitting across from Hosur in London. Doing this interview. And he was slightly contorted on a chair in a recording studio. He spent a Lotta time kind of just unsettling himself. He kept moving from different positions. Then I asked that question about what it's like to live in your body and he sat still and he contemplated this and then kind of sat straight fully took up all of the space within his own body to give that answer and transformed the whole dynamic of the conversation. It was really special relationship with the physical side of myself and most of my life. At least I twenty seven years of my life. At least I lived in the space. But just you know just behind. My eyes am having discovered things. Like mindfulness and stuff of gained a few skills and trying to kind of ground myself a little bit more into into an experience of of a whole South Bush. You know I think the older I get. I've definitely gotten more and it might sound strange. And here's this tall person gets up on stage and kind of maybe. It doesn't look like it but I was always very deeply uncomfortable with with my height and stuff like that so in the last few years of only still coming to that and get into him to own it as you know and I started to dare I say it. Even you know. Just be very happy with with you. Know the height that I am the second person that Brady resonated with me was Adobo that all of us know what that internal battles especially during this time. How do we strike the balance between everything we are told to do to hear this from Ottawa? Such great reminder that while we may not always know the answer to that question. We're not alone and asking it to live in my body now is let's get the negatives. I which would be Meyer negatives. I'm a perfectionist. So that means I battle with myself. Like probably like quite a few hours of the day on like how well don or have. I done it good enough for everything I do. I have to like do you perfectly. Which is an ever Gonna. You know what is perfect anyway? But it's like I think I just don't WANNA WASTE ANY TIME. I'm I'm just like those years. Were so unhappy and wasn't a waste of time of he can use all of that information out but it felt like a waste of time And so now it's just like I just don't believe we have all the time in the world. I don't believe that saying so. I just try and do as much as possible but it works as constant argument between SELF IN MY HEAD. Take easy keep on going slow down. See Friends. Don't see friends do this whole violent? Thankfully that internal bobble reminds me of another topic that was so frequently brought up on the show. Imposter Syndrome. That feeling like you do not deserve to be where you are some kind of fluke and soon everyone will find out that your fake that it's fraudulent. You don't deserve to be there. One of the people I talked to about this was Florence. Welsh from Florence and the machine is very anxious. Time to be alive scrape so it is a kind of narrative of all these things that are going on in the world at the moment of making all of us super anxious and then pass. He's I think when you've had when you've been an addict an you've had the experience you live with this weird fear that someone's going to come and tell you that this new life for this peaceful life that you made for yourself is just a lie and we know who you actually are and everything it built for yourself you have to leave it behind and you have to come back to the mess and like everybody knows now in. It's getting better but I think you live with a quite a lot of imposter syndrome. And if I'm not sort of keeping myself making things or keeping up with meditation and self. I am not truly self critical. I think so much imposter syndrome. Is this idea that our insights how we feel and our selves just match what we see on the side of people in our professions which is part of the reason. I always ask people to describe themselves. Both personally and professions. I loved the way. The Mara Wilson talked about this. I think that everyday life is really fascinating and really weird and we take it for granted. My father was an engineer and I feel that engineer brain that kind of makes you stop fixate on the little things but also just want things to be you know just right and efficient that kind of got into me so I always thought like I was my mother's child because I'm loud and talkative and performance of and you know quick tempered short the way that my mother is Look just like her and I was like my mother's child but I do have my dad's way of kind of looking at things I think so. I say I'm half Jewish and half engineer So that's how I would explain myself. Personally I think also neurotic and anxious. I think that a lot about me makes sense when you keep in mind that I am nervous all of the humor and I'm just a naturally anxious person and that I've kind of Come to embrace that professionally. I would say I'm a former child actor. I am a writer. I didn't describe myself as an actor for a long time now but I do voice acting and every now and then I'll do face acting her stage acting too. So I guess writer and actor kind of works or also just writer and voice over actor but every now and then all appear in something so you know just mentioned yes. It's you know I I don't. I mean I feel most happy like on a Mike and behind the scenes but I like being a part of things like I'm never going to be Meryl Streep I'm never going to be Jennifer Lawrence. I'm never going to be these actors out there because I don't want to be and also I don't really fit the image of what these people should look like. And I'm I'm obviously not that great of an actor compared to all of these people but every now and then I will act on something people will be like. Hey what gives us about? You gave up acting and I might look. I just like being a part of something. This explanation in particular stood out to me. Because the idea of our parents shaping who we are not just in terms of genetics but behavior and Bishen is something. That's very close to home. F- I would describe my parents as a mix of introverts and extroverts. Am I think I have the best parts of both of them? In the argument of nature versus nurture so much of who we become is based on who will shaped by. I think me and Myra are incredibly lucky to have been surrounded by great people. We'll be back just after this break. Well as me listeners. I have a free trial offer from audible for you. To consider. Audible is the leading provider of spoken word. Entertainment and audiobooks ranging from bestsellers to celebrity Memoirs News Business and self-development audible is incredibly accessible. This week. We have secretary of the Smithsonian Institute Lonnie Bunch. I listen to his biography. A fool's errand creating the National Museum of African American history and culture on audible and I loved us. Members get wound credit to pick Annie title plus to audible originals from a monthly section and accessed Daily News. Digest like The New York Times as well as breaks from the news like guided meditation programs. And podcasts I love audible because I can download titles and listen while doing my newest hobbies at home the APP is free and can be installed on all smartphones and tablets and I can listen across devices without losing my spot for this free trial visit. Audible dot com slash as me or text as me to five hundred five hundred that's audible dot com slash. Azmi a s emmy or text as me to five hundred five hundred audible dot com slash as me or text as me to five hundred five hundred. It's a weird time and keeping some sense of normalcy right now is key for me. Grooming and daily. Time Ed side some light yoga and washing my hair. And that's not just an excuse not to answer your resume. I'm really genuinely washing my hair and I'm absolutely in love with the function of beauty. Shampoo and conditioner. Are you ready to live your best life and twenty twenty? Then you need. Function of beauty. Function of beauty is the Internet's top rated customized haircare brand with over thirty thousand. Five Star customer reviews and counting. You tell them all about your hair. And even customize your formula with fragrance and color mine is eucalyptus or you can go die and fragrance free. The products are so personalized. Your name is even printed on the bottle. Small joys right now are well. Everything plus function of beauty is Vegan and cruelty for a never any harmful ingredients. And it's delivered to your door to get started right now. Good a function of beauty dot com slash as me to take your hair profile quiz and save twenty percent on your first order. Don't spend another minute. Inhere misery go to function of beauty dot com slash as me to let them know that we sent you. That's function of beauty dot com slash S M E. Another thing on the show that I've talked about a lot is my family's role in shaping the way I think about myself explicitly as a little person in the world and I love hearing about how other people's families played a role in their lives. There was a certain story from Justin Founder. That provided me with a totally different perspective on what it's like to be queer especially as a young person is queer people for the most part. You are born the minority in your own home so you're not just a minority in the world. You're minority owned home. That you're born into which I think is why there's so much so many levels of shame for everyone that feels like they're in other in isn't other but for people like there's no one in your family for the most part that can even walk you through this crazy fucking process. There was moments. I definitely member when you know I would be nine or ten years old and I would be insist on only wearing pink things and covering everything I own and like glitter puff paints and I remember a couple times. My Mom In the sweetest way that you possibly can be like I just I love it. I think it looks great. I just WanNa make sure that you're aware you're already getting bullied beyond belief at school. I don't think glitter puff. Paint is going to help that and I was like well. I think it looks great. And she said well. So do I go there? Was I remember a couple moments of her? Wanting to warn me that might choice as to live so confidently and live so freely might bring me trouble and I just didn't give a fuck because I'd rather be who I am than be safe first off. I love their response but made me reflect on how fortunate I am that I had somebody in my home. Who looked like me? My Dad is offer. That wasn't a privileged. My Dad had he was the only one who looked like him in his household growing up. Eighty percent of the people are born to to average high parents but knowing that my dad survived and thrived and experienced such joy and love. I knew it was possible for me without those words ever been spoken on another episode. Kimberly drew talked about how she is occupying spaces. That are family wasn't always included and teaching them about those spaces as a return for them teaching her about the world. My family demographically speaking is one of those groups that has traditionally been excluded from the spaces that I find myself in now with comfort. And so I've taken as a duty to really make sure that they feel welcome in any space that I'm in to make sure that they know that if there's a question of something that's confusing that I'm there to answer it because I was once in a moment where I needed them to teach me about the world you know. I wasn't born with generosity. I wasn't born with thoughtfulness. I wasn't born with a duty to other people. I learned that from them. You know they taught me how to love. They taught me how to care and they taught me. That being curious was a strength. I particularly when we talk about institutions. They often use the language of being open and accessible and welcoming. But if you don't reach into the communities that have been excluded historically. How do they know that you were a safe space for them? How do they put their trust in you? How do you convince them? They're not just going to be excluded when they come to the door. I don't think that's explicit to art. I think it's theater. I think you could be education. Copy government and underlines. That question often asked who's not in the room. And then how do we think about bringing them to those bases inviting and now joe's for performance increase but to take margin to challenge off and then on our whole world view of the last things? I want to talk about and probably are broadest. Category across the season is all of the ways. People found their voice. And how voice is what ended up fueling their work. A lot of these stories came from people being overlooked usually for something like race gender disability or religion the first one is from reporter comedian and podcast host Akilah Hughes. I never felt that from that teacher and I think it just really affected me in that way until I also think that part of the reason I left Kentucky after college was because I felt like in a lot of ways I was in a place that was not ready to celebrate support or even on the lowest level. Just listen to someone like me but I've been using the Internet that whole time right like I feel like neo pets and all that stuff kind of happens starting fourth and fifth grade for me and so I had this dichotomy right of my reality being people outside You know thinking I'm too radical because I think that like black people should be treated as people and then on the Internet. I'm talking to people all around the world and being treated like just a citizen of the world and you know playing games and laughing and it's never that serious and so. I think that I found the confidence to leave because I knew just from like spending time with people online. Who were not you know directly across the street from me? I knew that there was a better world out there and that there was a space for my voice to be heard and so the long way to answer your question is I think that I was highly aware of the fact that my sort of energy wasn't really supported or appreciated. I started my fashion blog when I was training to be a teacher. I remember at the time I think I was. Maybe twenty one so it feels like a long time ago now started because there wasn't anybody around me who was interested in the way that I was. I felt not necessarily lost but disconnected from so many other conversations or is if what I was interested in mattered less because of an audience for us so the Internet became this powerful tool. Where not only did I no longer distract my parents and my loved ones with all stories about what was happening in fashion. But I haven't and what I quickly realized was. I wasn't the only one who felt excluded by the fashion industry. So many others do's and the power of finding people who can release and support and challenger ideas but just be part of a broader community. There's no feeling and whether that's a fashion blog or being part of an advocacy organization little boulevard land and finding people who think like you. There's nothing like a kill a sort of a community that she knew existed beyond her hometown. It's brave but she looked forward to a world that was different. The felt more like a world that she really wanted to be part of the deserve. But I also talked to someone who took the opposite approach to being overlooked because of race. Someone who use history to understand we. Some people treated him different. That's secretary of the Smithsonian noni bunch. I grew up in a town where there are very few black people and in my school. My my elementary school. I was the only black kid and so there were a lot of times that I had fights that there were a lot of racial epithets. And there were people that treated me wonderfully and people that treated we horribly. I remember like it was yesterday. I was playing ball in. Somebody's backyard and the mother came out and she had glasses of cool aids to give everybody and then she saw me and said you drink out of the hose and I never forgot that hurt and so I realized that maybe history would help me understand why some people hated and why some people didn't history began as a personal way for me to heal and to understand and hopefully became way for me to say. How can I help a country? How can I help a world find reconciliation peace and healing through the past? So that's how I became a historian. We cannot deny the amount of discrimination people experience because of race sexual orientation religion gender and disability as a low person. This is something I experienced regularly. I remember the story. Routinely told us that winning a BAFTA and having to be carried on stage because they didn't have a wheelchair ramp for her. When don't take my baby one? We went on stage so Our eggs up Schuster a writer director producer or went onstage so they walked upstairs and I went round the side I was carried on and then I met them on the stage. And let's just remember the timeline here. It wasn't a surprise to after that route was winning. She was nominated months in advance and yet they didn't think that the stage colder should be made accessible. This is the theater where we can put helicopters onstage or boats or we can transform the stage to an entirely different fictional world but we can't make an accessible and maybe it's not because we can't we just haven't wanted to for having thought of doing just yet. It reminded me of the importance of visibility. The importance of having disabled people the Front of our minds who take part in culture who can not always demand that these changes happen but their existence alone shapes how we view the world. I remember watching Brian on the great British Baker and being aware of her physical disability. But it never being articulated and that alone being so powerful you know. She spoke on the show people's curiosity and she facilities all sorts of conversations. Better smaller hand. Because it's important to educate people and in many ways. I can empathize with that. Whether that the kid coming up to me at a grocery store Shanghai why are you so small importance of education people about differences? Although it's not our individual jobs it is important to me. I am perfectly capable. Wants to ask me about it. You know I would much rather than them. Stand there and stare me ten minutes and it's like kids ice of welcome them to come up and touch it and say let her you know you get little toddlers turn like pull my fingers. I. It's very key. I mind people asking me like I'd rather than the ignorant saw the hush hush charting more after the break. 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And it's hard for me to find the time to sit down and to read for hours on end these days but I love learning new things from reading. So I'm always looking for creative ideas. For absorbing new information. There was an incredible up that solves this problem and I highly recommend it. It's called bleakest. Blink is just really unique and it works on your phone. Your tablet or even your web browser blinkers takes the best key takeaways the need to know information from thousands of nonfiction books and condense down into just fifteen minutes that you can read or listen to. I read the whole of Jiaotong. Dina's Trick Mira Book and you've probably heard me talk about it here before and I just discovered assembling kissed. And it's a great one to help you understand how we got to this era of social media and what it means for us as individuals with blink as you get unlimited access to read or listen to a massive library of condense nonfiction books all the books you want an all for one low price right now for a limited time blinkers has a special offer just for our audience go to blink dot com slash as me and try it for free for seven days and save twenty five percent of your new subscription. That's blinking spelled B. L. I. N. K. I S. T. Blink dot com slash as me a s emmy to start your free seven-day trial and you'll also save twenty five percent off. But only when you sign up a blinking dot com slash as me when I re listened to a lot of these clips thing that comes to mind. The most is resilience. Each of these individuals had no choice but to survive in a world. That didn't accept them while it's amazing. It shouldn't be something that they have to do alone. There was someone at the tough in a lot of these stories who could have said something. Different Dawn something different. I think the story the Dan Levy told us though teacher you had in highschool all the sort of formative moments in my life have come from pushing the boundaries of what I have been told I can do or can't do and being embraced for taking the risk so you know I think for me. My first impulse to write came in high school. When I ended up interpreting an essay that I had to write and instead of writing the essay I wrote a long form poem and it was a risk and it was an opportunity for a teacher to shut me down instantly or push me forward and I was very fortunate enough to have a teacher that not just congratulated me on the way that I had interpreted the essay but used it as an example of how the class should be thinking differently and it was that moment that stuck with me and changed everything because I felt like there is a level of vulnerability when you're doing something that's a little different and this of course it's high school. There's I mean people making huge strides in in much bigger arenas but for me. It was a really vulnerable time. I was not sure of my skills. I was not sure of myself and I took a risk. And she recognized that and encouraged it and told me that I had something in the writing and that I should continue to pursue it and that could have been the moment when my potential career as a writer was stopped dead in its tracks. I think we've all had teachers that have shaped us. Positively and negatively. I'll never forget explaining to my teacher that I wanted to teach and there is owned in confidence in me was what allowed me to dream and I think they could have had a moment of flippancy where they said No. That's not for you. Or maybe in the Russian chaos of managing thirty four year olds. They didn't give me the time to just affirm my confidence and it's easy to think that maybe that's a teacher's job to instill confidence and to give dreams to young people. But how often has a friend or a sibling turnstile? Since that? This is something that I really WanNa do or an interested in this. Or maybe they don't even display the enthusiasm short because they're afraid we'll laugh at them believing in people are so important even if you don't always think it's possible her. We decide that the goal of asthma was to create a space to hear stories from people who are doing amazing work across so many different fields. About what it's like to be there to get the truth on their experiences from their own voices. A lot of these conversations changed the way that I think about myself and how I relate to other people I want to end with something. That R- is Ahmed says in his interview. Well I guess what really matters to me is connection. Love the idea of connecting with people man. I love the idea of like just being able to pause through someone's life for a moment and light up I find really moving really size. Flying makes me feel fulfilled. This idea that we all just kind of like passing through this life and view blink. You before you know it you be gone. I mean in my mind. I'm still like twenty one trying to work out the six now. I'm closer to fifty than I am to twenty and the last fifteen years have been amazing. They have just flown by. So I mean I'm constantly aware of this and I think it says something to do with having a Muslim upbringing. Where the Afterlife? And the idea of like this life is a dream. This'll you blink twice and it's over it's so deeply inculcated in our culture that yeah. I'm very much of the opinion that like connect while you hear try and lie up people's lives and lie apart for people while you here and then you're done when I'm at my least anxious least fearful least ego driven and most mindful. I like to think what matters to me is connection right now as people are still stuck at home or maybe slowly begin to poke their heads out to take a walk. Think it's so important to remember that we need. Each Other connection is important. The best way for us to connect is to understand or empathize with an experience of someone else and listening is the tool as me was born at of the idea of listening to create more empathy in the world. And I want to end this first season by saying reach out to people find time to connect. Don't look at it as a chore but as a Gift Learning how other people pink see and experience the world is a currency that will never be profitable harvest the moments and the people that bring you joy. Have you ever had a conversation with the person and left that moment? Feeling better about yourself in the world. That's true connection. Find as much of it as you care and then offer up to other people be brave and be comfortable being vulnerable. Don't perform who. You are based on a biased expectation of what the world is confident that you are enough and valid and interesting just as you. Are Hank you so much for joining me. All of season one of asthma which I couldn't be more proud of the community that we've created and the connection that we've developed as me is a production of lemonade media. Claire Jones is assistant producer. Ivan Corey of is there editor and Jessica Critical Kramer and whittles wax are executive producers.

writer Azmi Emmy secretary engineer US Florence producer I Mara Wilson Hosur Claire Jones National Museum of African Ame Brady Meyer Meryl Streep Ottawa don Lonnie Bunch The New York Times
159 - Cat Show

Welcome to Night Vale

29:01 min | 10 months ago

159 - Cat Show

"I have a secret but I'm terrible at keeping secrets. So I'm GonNa tell you some background we have a brand new Novel coming out next spring called the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home that is it's a horror slash historical fiction slash slash revenge thriller slash Roman Slash high-seas Adventure. It's like the princess bride and the hunting of Hill House for one book that also had a faceless old woman in it well here's the Secret Mara Wilson Voice at the faceless. Old Woman on the podcast will be reprising her role to narrate audiobook marketplace such kids lightly creepy faceless old woman. We are so thrilled that she'll be the one to tell you the story of how that lovable old revenge ghost ended up in night fail. You can preorder your a copy of the novel and Audiobook now at welcome tonight failed dot com slash books while you are at welcome tonight dot com you should click on store and checkout are awesome holiday gifts like our unsettling and limited edition holiday sweater. Shipping deadlines are coming up. So don't delay unless you live really close to our warehouse. In which case take take your time I guess Oh and one more thing. This is another secret. I guess but I'm GonNa tell you anyway. Terrible keeping secrets stay tuned after the end of today's episode to hear a trailer for the new season of the orbiting human circus. If you've never listened to the orbiting human circuits purport you are in for a treat this fiction podcasting like literally no one else else in the world is doing it and you can find it on your podcast APP today. Okay Hey haircut. The annoying goose You want to see in the world. Welcome to Night Vale This Day was foretold and now it is here some doubted it would come but the signs were clear and I could not be more excited. It's the annual Knightdale cat. Show I I know. I rarely report on this event but this year I finally entered my own Cap Kasich into the contest. Many of you remember that I found cau- check seven years ago. He was floating four feet off the ground in the men's restroom here at the radio station and and he's still in that exact. Same spot is cute as ever with his furry little white paws an elegant little black tail and just off Lucius tentacles. You could ever see my husband deny a door cats rohe's ranking them because love is above all else competition so we figured we should put cau- check out there for an objective ruling on our own beliefs that he is the best cat in the world. It should be an easy win for our little boy especially with the home field advantage. Kasha is stuck in a fixed point in space and the cat show is being held year at the radio station to accommodate his condition station. Management is a bit. It's unhappy about this because they're terribly allergic to cats all morning. As the cat show organizers and competing cats have arrived arrived I have felt the sneezes of station management from deep below the surface of the earth for her road into the warm molten core. Four are dying planet. I sent our new intern. Simon Peterson out to pick up some Benadryl for the bosses. And he did but now he's having having trouble navigating the sixteen inch wide rocky tunnels station management dug into the break room and Simon keeps saying he's coster phobic. It can that his greatest fear is to be stuck in the dark place where the long spindly arms touch and prod his feet but it cannot see them and even if he could he not comprehend them and the prickly limbs grabbed him with increasing desperation and he does not screen because he knows no one will hear Khimik Sept- The inscrutable thing. That is now tearing open the skin along the bottom of his feet and I it was like Simon. This office is a no excuses zone. So getting that tunnel in your job more on the cat show soon but first the news strange men arrived in down. Today they were wearing suits and carrying briefcases. They drove a black sedan. One of them were sunglasses. They claimed to be from Washington DC from an agency called the National Transportation Safety Board. They were inquiring about a missing plane. Strange men one of them had a blister on his upper lip met with Sheriff Sam and told them that on June Fifteenth Two Thousand Twelve Delta flight. One eight seven one three from from Detroit Michigan to Albany New York disappeared the NTSB still has not found the MD.. Ninety aircraft. The men told Sheriff Sam that for many years the agency believed the flight to have gone down in Lake Erie. Sheriff Sam laughed at this silly fake name for a lake and told hold the men one of them had a swollen red lump along the cuticle of his right index finger that they must be remembering some spooky young adult table. Rather than a real life event the strange men one of them had an unceasing. Nosebleed said it wasn't fact true. They said that they recently found report. Indicating that right before flight one eight seven one three vanished from radar it was detected all the way down in the southwest United States ranked here in Night Vale. was that possible. The strange men asked our sheriff sheriff. Sheriff Sam stopped laughing and said I know the plane or rather. I know someone who saw that plane. His name is Doug Doug Biondi the strange arrangement one of them were three wedding. Rings nodded and said tickets to Doug. Sheriff Sam said Doug is in the Night Vale asylum is dangerous. He is not allowed visitors. But and Sheriff Sam leaned forward clasping. Their hands comes together across the desk and continued in hush tone. I could assist in an undercover operation. Disguise you all as new inmates treacherous psychopaths who must be kept in locked down in the world's highest security mental hospital. Then then you would be able to interview Doug Biondi about what he saw that day in the elementary school. GM The strange men. One of them was weeping. Thick yellow tears agreed that this was a great idea and set out with the sheriff to the asylum deep within the scrublands to begin their covert investigation. I'm sure those strange men from the NTSB will emerge soon with a full the report more on this story as it develops but I have to get back to the catch. Oh Oh so. Many cats have arrived their cages and carriers full of sweet kitties all over the station representing all four breeds of cat longhaired short haired small she faced and miscellaneous when I was filling out at the entry forms for caution. They asked me his brief and he's definitely mushy faced but also longhaired. Although he's short haired along his caudal spine and pincers serves so miscellaneous guest also. They wanted cautious last name and I had never thought of last team for our cat. I told Carlos we should put his last. Name is cautious last name because Carlos has a much more interesting last name than me plus hours is. It's pretty well known and very well liked town. Everybody knows his last name and I thought that might carry some political weight in the minds of the churches but Carlos insisted did that. We use mine because I found cautious and adopted him. So there you go little kitty you are Kasich Gershwin in Palmer a champion name for champion cat. Let's have a look now at the community unity. Calendar this Friday night is the tour of lights in Old Town Night Vale. Participants can meet at Galway and I starting at seven PM. Em where a tractor pulling a trailer full of hey will drive you around to look at the bright festive holiday. Lights adorning various historic homes. Last year's. Here's favorite the Victorian mansion owned by Harrison. KIP included a forty foot. Tall Santa his arms outstretched overseeing a vast army of toiling elves while an old Victoria Played Ave Maria over crackling speakers and clowns leapt suddenly from the thick shrubs handing unsuspecting but but delighted guests red and blue balloons shaped like long dead family members. Tickets are five dollars and go to support the Bilderberg group Saturday. Evening is the BI monthly pub crawl in downtown Night Vale every eight weeks or so every bar in town becomes overrun with seven inch long Bugs that look like bit like your wigs but with human faces all participating bars and pubs are offering two for one specials on well drinks thanks and bottled domestics Sunday afternoon. The to Mika Flynn Book Club will be meeting to discuss their most recent book the two thousand eighteen who's GonNa Y.. T. H. Two four K.. Fourteen inch riding mower owner's manual. This month's book was chosen by John. Peters you know the farmer more they'll be discussing the themes symbolism and subtexts of this seminal work of contemporary technical literature. The book club is open to anyone and there will be a potluck look benefit. Monday is running a few minutes late but once ever want to know we can go ahead and start without it the cat show it was finally underway. And Wow what a site. I've never actually been to a cat show before today. It is. It's fascinating so the judges take each cat one at a time. They hold up the cat's tail to examine its posture and form. Then they pry open the cat's mouth mouth. Check its teeth then. Four judges hold each of the cat's paws and stretch it out into a furry X as a fifth th judge measures the cats latitude longitudinal and diagnose lengths. I'm surprised at how gentle these cats are with. All this rough handling check Akasha usually tries to bite me or sting me when I feed him and I appreciate that about him. Like it's hard to respect the cat that would would let any stranger look directly in the eyes let alone touch it. People sometimes think cats will behave obediently. Charlie like dogs but not cats sir. Individualistic they show love. Yes but it is conditional and judgmental he was give a cat space to learn its environment and develop its own social rules. Plus those pincers hurt the cats. They're showing right. Now are very cute. But it's it's hard to respect them like the way they let these judges just treat them like slabs of meat stand up for yourself you glorified sock puppets. I'm getting some nasty looks from the judges and other contestants good good track is important in contact. Sports let him knows the front front runner Amber Kini and her husband Wilson Levy or showing their cat now a tiny fist sized orange and white short hair named burt. Old Old burgled might be my second favourite cat behind classic of course because he's a well on type account with the extra appendages. The Poly Paulie Dactyl Paulie Dactyl. That's it anyway. Berthold is polly dactyl cat. He has eight legs and a mesmerizing ray of shiny black eyes covering his cute little face. I'm not so sure bur told has much of a chance of winning. Though because when the judge is trying to check his teeth he skittered up the wall and won't come down. I'm from the Webby built up there. Well now Susan Wildman is showing her cat. He's a scraggy but otherwise basic tabby with dirty teeth like like Spanish rice and the sunken posture of a playground swing. Oh I didn't catch his name although it sounded like. She called him dumpster under Chancellor Awesome. Okay hopefully judges real wide eyed and cooing over dumpster a rare bejeweled artifact through nodding to each other as if they're impressed I don't get this. He's a trash cat that's why she named him dumpster or knowing Susan. Maybe that's a family name uh-huh oh I'm getting a sure. Sign from the judges and Susan is glaring at me. I had no idea. How political did this catch? It would be a racket. Let's have a look now at traffic. There's a slowdown on westbound lanes of route. Eight hundred near exit nineteen. There is no construction or accident. Highway Patrol said that everyone on that side of the road simply started thinking thinking about Uranus and giggling every single driver simultaneously remembered. How the name of that planet always made them laugh in school? Scientists want to study your Innis. They thought at once really probe the dense noxious clouds covering the rocky surface of Uranus. They considered in unison their ruddy cheeks quaking above sore jaws and below. Tear field crackling. Is Scientists. Think the pressure inside. Uranus is is so great that there may be diamonds inside your anise. The drivers all how old the audible thin enough to slow even the east bound lanes who were trying think of a single funny thing about Saturn but could not. I'm not sure I get. Why any of that is funny? But expect westbound delays of twenty minutes or take an alternate route. It's the big moment listeners. The judges are visiting CAU- check right right now in the men's restroom. I tried to tell them to use neoprene gloves but they sneered and said we know how to handle cats Sir Sir okay. They're professional arbiters of all things feline. So I believe them. They're holding cautionary tales. Right now examining winning his make Ria scales they brought into other judges to try to hold cautions tentacles down because we keep trying to grab at the main judges face as the judge attempts to examine contracts teeth. Oh I wonder if they'll deduct points for cautious having more teeth than a normal cat I mean he has five rows of of them. Oh Oh oh no oh. The judges are not controlling the situation. Well at all while Kasich has wrapped up all of the judges in his many spiraling suctioned arms. They're struggling to break free. But those tentacles secrete a sedate of oil and the Judges Judges are wobbling. They're passing out Yup not good every single judges unconscious and now cautious wildly flapping his wings. And while I cannot hear it I you can tell he is emitting a streak that only other cats can hear. He does this when he's upset others. Berthold coming down from the safe haven of his web. There's dumpster dumpster hollow-eyed and purring walking toward caution and all the other cats are coming to their mouths agape omitting I am sure the same ultrasonic tone harmony of protests of uprising. A blood thirst. They're gathering now in the men's room is glowing all slack Jawed Auden silent screaming at the sky. Oh yeah the other pet owners are sobbing and eh running for the exits but they know they cannot leave. They would would not leave even if they could. It is silent now in the station. Save for the panting exhaustion of frightened human owners and the strained wheezing breadth of unconscious. Catch show judges. I think Carl Lewis and I have a great shot at winning this thing listeners. An announcement of a champion coming soon. But I the weather you get nothing. Prospering say his coffee long. Don't don't coaches crews say you gotTa Tade King Scott Sir soon Easy walking concede. Kid Be Changing Sir. It's a concern uh-huh ah Sky And uh-huh Yeah The judges woke up but they no longer speak in English nor any human language which they are licking themselves and eating moths that they caught by these single swinging. Lightbulb in our radio stations interrogation room their brains jeans are feral and feline now as they hide under tables and he s set the other cat owners and tried to warn them about using Hazmat Matt gloves. But they didn't want to hear me. Or maybe the derived. Perhaps this was their gambit. All the long I mean this is after all my first cat show. I don't want to pretend like I know how these things go wrong. No winners were announced. The judges joined the high pitched caterwauling think of the other cats and then they all left in a unified. cloudier out the men's room window and into the street. I can see them now. Oh running toward the alley behind the CVS. Several other cats joining their ranks. All except 'cause he cannot leave his spot in the station. Restroom restroom four feet in the air I told Cossack that is winner moment and I put put on my thick rubber gear and gently stroked his little face. Right between is middle to is. It's hard to tell what cats are thinking or feeling but I think caution is happy. He's happy to have such a loving home in two doting dad's but something in his eyes tells me. He wanted to run free with his new cat. Friends I gave him a catnip plush though and he looks content give a little coked up stay to next for annoys. You cannot hear rallying a feral insurrection. Good Night Night Vale. Okay welcome to night. Vale is a production of failed presents. It is written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Free Craner and produced by disparition. The Voice of Night Vale is see so Baldwin original music by dispersion all of it can be found at disparition dot what info or at disparition dot band Camp Dot Com. This episode weather was fuzzy disco by talkie find out more at talkie dot band Camp Dot Com. That's talkie with an I. E. comments questions email us at Info at welcome to Night Vale. L. Dot Com or follow us on twitter at night bill radio or tell the neighbor's dog to just come down little buddy. There's no need to get this worked up. Checkout oh welcome tonight fail for Info about our upcoming world tour brand new script and boy. Am I excited about some of the stuff. We're going to try this one. Today's proverb WanNa WanNa feel old. Don't worry you will hi of Paris near the very top of the Eiffel Tower lives. It's gender whose job it is to clean the Talibi night. But I have no idea how I came to be at the Eiffel Tower. He simply found himself here. One night able to recall called nothing except for one childhood memory tonight and claimed to attempt to stunt and he whispered in my ear Tony. I'm going take notice all Paris. And then missus Mrs such as the tower cooking cigarette. Thank you that was is the only two people who have ever seen the janitor. It was his boss. Mr Chernov speaking to the towers ninety-year-old nightwatchman cocoa and cocoa might be the only one who can save the janitor. The janitor had told cocoa a story about a ballroom he said was at the top of the I tower and a strange show that goes on inside of it. Now there is no ballroom yet win. The janitor tells of it Coco. Couldn't really picture it. Yeah he tells of crew chief Letitia. Who runs that show with y'all got here? She's carrying a child backdrop with stagehand Jacques. Because my mother she always sent me. If I get lost I shall look for John Know exactly where I am mine too but yeah that's nice personality almost like it was on trade with a benevolent. Wasn't sir how was that. I flipped over. Something Komo lighter. Then there's the drunken out of control diva who hosts the show. Flattery will get you nowhere except my dressing room. John John Cameron been linking a lot ended. It's not like you lots of people like me when it's especially nice is when they don't know who who I am. That's when I know it means something that's what I need. I don't need fans I don't eat friends. I need people who have no idea who I am and I need millions of the atom somewhere hidden. All of this may be the truth that can see the janitor ended in the grand ballroom. At the top of the Eiffel Tower. Red Velvet curtains popped and suddenly the giants are sign above the stage lights. Tommy Idol Tower reordering human in the orbiting human circus. In Naughty -til New Year's a brand new adventure the perfect place to begin it all starts November six from WNYC's studios and Night Vale Music. They say you shouldn't meet your heroes Joseph Fink and I'd like to introduce you to. I only listen to the mountain goats the show where I meet my hero and have conversations -tations about songwriting art and life. This podcast is going to be weird for me. Because I'm proud of what I do but I always try to change the subject people. Tell me that my stuff is good. I only listen into the mountain goats. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts or ex.

Night Vale Sheriff Sam Eiffel Tower Doug Doug Biondi John John Cameron Susan Wildman Cap Kasich NTSB Old Town Night Vale Joseph Fink Simon Peterson Berthold Night Vale Carlos Mara Wilson Kasha rohe United States Hill House Camp Dot Com
Episode 172: Get it Together, Doug

The Struggle Bus: Self-Care, Mental Health, and Other Hilarious Stuff

55:00 min | 10 months ago

Episode 172: Get it Together, Doug

"Bob Problems just like US bus. Welcome to the struggle bus. I'm Kate I'm sally and we're here to fix your lives. That said we are two people whose only qualifications to give you advice or that. We have lots of feelings in lots of opinions. Neither of which are a substitute she would for professional guidance. Sally Katherine How the Hell Are you. I'm Fan frigging tastic. Sally how are you I too am fantastic freaking tastic so I think that this is GonNa be one hell of a show not to over promise within the first thirty seconds. But you're going to be a Super Cala Fragile Listrik ex-pm ADOC Isel the well. Well said thank you and if you're over promising it should be in the first thirty seconds so I I actually feel really good about it. He listened to you have any opinions about that or we're not tweeted US at struggle. Bus POD email us at struggle bus podcast at gmail.com. If you have a question or if you like to join our secret facebook group use the same email L. Struggle bus podcasts at g mail DOT COM but send a separate email and denote in the subject blind. You like to join the group. INSTAGRAM DOT com slash. The struggle bus pod. Use the Hashtag tags. Drug Abbad Buds for twenty to find a struggle buddy struggle bus podcast dot com for more information about the show tweet at Sally tweet at me. At S P K Heller and you can help us out On Patriots on. Yeah you can. If you go to Patriot dot com slash struggle bus. You can see all the different ways you can support us in the different things will send you if you do. I haven't mentioned this in a while but We'll send you if you become a member we send you a an archive. All the bonus episodes we've recorded and there's like a bunch of him in there with some really fun guests and we send it to you as a zip file and they're just are yours forever to own And make into your ringtones or whatever so and then the other thing is At two if you are a patron at two dollars and fifty fifty cents you get You got the archive and then you also get The ticket to ride who Which send you in the mail in the United States Postal Service Mele And you can go to our website and see what the ticket to ride. Looks like but it's real cool. It's real fun. It's in struggle bus yellow. It says never ride alone. It's a really nice thing to have. I carry mine with me all the time and I think you should do remember when we did the The recap of bring it on. It'd be lie and sex in the city. The movie a united some really great Opinion the I we had some really good opinions molly enough oil friend of the show US friend of you friend of the world tape and everything good in it recorded the sex in the city bonus episode with us and she's she's like one of the world's leading experts on sex and the city which I don't think I think if you like were you read like the sort of quick like encyclopedia Britannica entry. Mullen full you might not realize that something that she knows and cares a lot about sex in the city. which so? I just think it's like a delightful like turn up From like her whole personality and in being as a great episode and she really brought it we have guests such as Mara Wilson. Rachel Wilkinson Miller some amazing amazing people people so yeah good bonus content good at good bonus content man So Catherine shall we get to the opening Jibril. Everett's let's Uber Jabber. I put a couple couple things in the DOC were either of these thing. You actually did work for this episode. Well I don't know if I do work as much as I see things on twitter that I get extremely activated about about and then click copy and paste. Because I'm gathering will also be activated about this I am So the first one is so had you seen okay so let me just first. Say the first thing that we're GonNa talk about is a A tweet from sady doyle and just like content note that like this and is GonNa end up being a conversation about like God it like i. You know honestly like Anti Anti Anti blackness and violence against sex workers is what I would. That's like my content note for this So the tweet is Siri. Show me heterosexuality. Then it's a screen shot of A like a a headline opole quote article in the poll quotas. You're not a serial killer. Right she texted before she died. Prosecutors say that's exactly what he was and this is like obviously this person who by the way I don't follow Sady Doyle but my impression is that she is a feminist who who has opinions that people really like so she might. Yeah I actually follow where she she had. She was very much in the crossfire during a lot of rape culture conversations years ago and she's been very outspoken and she's she's I like her stuff but I do see what happened here and it's good that she apologize but Is it somebody I do follow. Okay Yeah I mean I. I'm not like I don't know enough about her to like say one way or the other and like this is I don't want to be like This isn't about like this one person. The that's not the reason I put this in here. It's I put it in here mortgage because I think it's like An interesting saying Miss Staff And like a lot of learning that could have been taken from it but basically like she was trying to make a comedy joke which Katherine you know comedy jokes like they're things that you say to be funny And she and she tried to make a joke about how heterosexuality is so dark. That That it's all just like men killing women which you know like I. I wouldn't make this joke because I it's not. I don't think it's cool. Told US someone else who's been murdered as like a punchline for your heterosexuality joke But and like whatever I mean maybe I'm just not as funny as eighty doyle but that's just like not a joke I would make but then the thing is if you read the article it's actually about Like an CDL says is. I didn't read in subsequent. Who tweets says? I didn't read the article past the headline. I crack the joke that I thought highlighted intimate partner violence but I should have checked to see if the victim was multiple marginalized before. I did that and so it turns out that like this is an article about a black young black woman who's a sex worker And she got a lot of alike angry responses from actually not really angry responses but a lot of responses being like hey like this article is about violence against sex ex-workers and the person who was murdered as a black woman and like it. It's not and then other people were just like. Hey it's not cool to like make fun of people have been murdered word and like just just people I think in a in a good faith way like not not not Russian bots and not people on the alright but like actual leftists who obviously follows eighty like. Hey like this. Isn't that cool And you should probably like address this. So do you mind if I just keep talking to finish the explanation. You've gone okay. So she then like if you if you click on the tweet you see that. She made a thread A subsequent thread Ed responding to the criticism and the first one is hey. It's pointed out that unless this is attached to the. Oh well actually that's later hold on so I didn't pass the article. And then she he said I tend to have my guard up for criticism because a lot of bs on twitter. If you look through these replies you'll see a lot of outright dudes posting homophobic memes for example which I I didn't say okay? So maybe maybe I've different filters sady doyle I'm not. I'm not saying she didn't get those run those responses. I didn't see them. And then she said but I don't want to be offensive at the expense of acknowledging legit critique. So that's is there. I do know it was a mistake. I am sorry and I do know that a lot of people are responding in good faith out of legitimate her out of legitimate feelings of being hurt. I'll try to be more thoughtful about these things in the future and then a lot of people responded to that and we're like okay but can you like delete the tweet and then like And so then she said. Hey It's been pointed out that unless this is attached to the original original tweet a lot of people won't see it so I want to reaffirm that I think black women calling this tweet out in particular right to do so and I guess she's leaving the tweet up because it's like a learning experience inside. I don't really understand what her logic is. Because I just I feel like it's When something is like when something stays up like if you just see this tweet you just see the joke and it like perpetuates this sort of like shit? He comedy reaction to like a serious thing An and you know if you don't read the entire threat and have all the context you don't realize it something she's been called out for and stuff so I it's also just like it's I don't know it's like is is weird to me that she's leaving this thing up that people feel is like hurtful and bad but she has decided to leave it up and I feel like her. Her apology is very Like it it's I just feel like we could do a taxonomy of apologies. That don't quite do the trick and I I don't. This is certainly not the worst apology I've seen because she is admitting some I I there's there's like there's an aspect of like vulnerability missing using to this where I feel. Basically what she's saying is like I can see that some of you have a good point about this and I will keep that in mind in the future which which which to me isn't like I think. Basically what you have to do in this in this situation is be like I this year. Right like people who are calling Out Like my insensitivity towards violence sex workers anti blackness are right and I'm GonNa unpack what it is. What's going on with me? See that like before reading that I made a joke without reading this or that. I thought this was a joke at all. And I'm going to think about like my own anti-black Nassar or whatever like because I yeah I don't. I don't really think that like there's anything not well I shouldn't say I don't think there's anything wrong but like I think that you can be wrong and like have it pointed out out to you that you have kind of mess something up and learn from it and I I just think that maybe this is like a really fucking naive take to have but I feel feel like if you admit that you kind of blew it an you show some vulnerability around like what you need to sort of Learn from from and and deal with in yourself it to me. I think is like a better more genuine apology. Please rescue me from my well first of all when you. This isn't about a class and had to apologize like there's ways I was just picturing a classroom with all. These people mostly white feminists on twitter and is led by Louis C. K.. I got that what is. Here's how not to follow it. But I'm also going through this thread and I'm loving some of the responses one of my favorites is okay colonizer. At that was amazing. No I think you bring up excellent points. which is how'd you know listen? She's not cancelled right. It takes a lot of time and energy for people to write back. Does something like this and say. Hey here's why this hurts right like you. Don't people don't have to do it when I see people do that. I think they took time out of their day to let you know something. Yeah 'cause they're hurt and so really really. Listen and I don't know how much she listened to me like she was giving a half apology And I think she can do a lot better especially she knows she's been through. Some Shit was during the rape joke thing of two thousand thirteen or two thousand twelve or whatever that remember that whole the old rape joke thing. Yeah you're right smack in the middle of it and I think if anyone should understand what it's like to be attacked for things or you know or feeling how you're feeling and not being heard She should we know that she could flip it around and be like. Hey you said something that or you know your actions yet there is. There are times where you keep the tweet up when you apologize. Say This is an example example of this and that but she didn't apologize the way I think that What you were saying would be actually helpful so either do it or take the tweet down? Yeah I totally agree. The and there was a a A response to her. That I thought was really good which was victim blaming but make it woke and I thought like the but make it was pretty profound because I do think that this is like a way of highlighting problems with like toxic masculinity But at the expense spence of like other people who are armed and I I just I feel like particularly because the way issue was called out by a bunch of people being like I mean. At least what I see. I didn't go through the entire thread of lies. And maybe there are people who are being complete monsters but like the threat I saw. was you know people people being like. Hey and by the way like people don't have to be nice to you and they like pointed out to you they if people feel harmed and hurt like they don't have to like hold your hand while a day tell you that you've made them feel like whatever hurt neraste and whatever but people did I feel like in good faith be like hey like this is not cool and I think particularly like I don't know man like I just the thing that I'm starting to value Catherine like in people is is a less that people get it right the first time and always and more that they Like our could are in a real and true genuine way open and curious to like learning how to get a quote unquote right and obviously like I prefer that people get it right the first time like I prefer that that people understand all these things especially like the more nuance things intersection of. I got the fact of the matter is is that like That sometimes doesn't happen and and I'm so much more into people who are not like I just feel like when people's entire brand is being awoke when they get called out they tend to be less likely to sort of take the criticism to heart and be like. What do I actually need to unpack? Because I I would like lake to thank and my my hope for myself. Is that if I ever made a joke like that and people pointed it out that I would be like I I should probably examine my own own like what I think about sex workers in what I how I deal with like anti blackness in myself that you know what I mean which because you can use that as like a valuable valuable way to like unpack things that are really like in you because we like there are like you can be woken in fucking mess up. I'm sorry I keep saying anyway whatever Katherine I'm rambling. The planes clearly sadie took an APP but I I was actually disappointed when I saw this as well because I do follow her and I think she overall has had some really good say about many many do things but this is definitely not one of them and you can do that. You can be wrong and she was very wrong. I think that yeah this is this is rough sadie make it right yes eighty make it right. I I'm having a moment to in my life with Lake. People who are like self identified like progressive people like US use the language of social justice but like misappropriate it to not be awesome. And it's making me feel really tired of like progressive people And and like not really be able to give them the grace and understanding that I am not able to give. CDL Right now and whatever. I'm one of those aggressive people. I'm insufferable like I. Am I standards and I make mistakes and I'm performing Tive and everyone everyone is and we need to all be better. The Aunt Catherine I agree. I totally agree. And you know those listening at home like we're all going to make mistakes like no one is born completely understanding ending everyone's experiences in the world. That would be weird. I think that if anything looking at it not for me Innocent or naive perspective. But you know we all walk into a room not knowing exactly what just happened in that room so you know just just to read the room. Oh my God. That's such a good analogy or metaphor. I never know what's what the differences between analogy metaphor but walking into a room and not knowing what happened is is so good and I'm GonNa that every minute interest otas that's awesome. Yeah it's a it's a game where you have to try to figure out what just happened but like and by doing so you have to really listen and pay attention but I I use it as a metaphor when I walk into an interview or a date or like just a party. Not You never know what just happened in that room because you ever walk in a room and you feel like something just happened and it's definitely not you totally but you don't WanNa be like. Hey guys let's party and there's like a dead Ed Hamster. Why said that but like I'm just picturing you know someone's like Oh my hamster just died right? You know really. Yeah for sure. I'm being I'm making it worse. No it's amazing I'm just now. Of course all I can think about is like walking into your room and light with like a lampshade on your head and like a bottle of champagne but like that's just been popped opt and being like party time and then seeing like a bunch of people crowded around to the side body of little hamster but on but countered hamsters aside like I will say hey that that's I'm going to think about a lot and because it's it's you know when there is that you know I have had that feeling reconfirm your like. Something just happened but it. It's it's even more profound to me to keep that in mind in the Times that you walk into a room and you actually don't feel that there's an energy because doc those are the times when you need to remember that or you need to remind yourself that like everyone in this room is having their own feelings and thoughts and going through their own things and who knows what was just set and Blah Blah Blah. It's just like a really good reminder for like existing and I'm completely obsessed with the metaphor and I'm going to be thinking about it a lot yet and it's a great way to not make it about you because I I think I think safety's sorry making it about her right now where it's like. No no it's the overall like yes you said it but overall this has been a problem especially especially with white feminists yeah It's not just you. It's it's it's the world in which you think you could do that totally. Yes that is such a good way of putting I I WANNA move onto the other thing that I wonder. It's a thing that I like and I've been feeling lately whenever people say like that's social media is like bad and twitter's terrible and stuff. I'm always like a get a new critique lake if this were like another generation we'd be saying this about like the telephone or something. I like that however having said that in the last couple of weeks I've felt really I have sort of felt like twitter is a toxic waste disposal site So I'm glad to tell you that this is a thing I think is good and is not toxic. Waste 'cause I just wanted to sort of like like provide something that feels like a little bit like an antidote to the usual twitter garage. Oh So this is a tweet tweet that is from Melissa. Fa Bello who you can follow and twitter at F. M. Fellow who she's really cool like I I I know her? Irl she's a really cool. Sorry I just said I l like it's a thing but I guess it is now news people. Yeah she's great she he does a lot of like Like Anti Diet like anti weight. Stigma work And she's just like she's really smart hurt and she I think she has like a really good analysis and I think that like she also just comes from a place of like wanting to be like kind as opposed was like wanting to perform something so I I really like her anyway. the It's a it's a threat And it starts with. I want to chat briefly about this text that I received from a friend last week. And it's a screen shot of attacks from a friend that says. Do you have the emotional slosh mental capacity for me to vent about something medical slash weight related for a few minutes and and then the rest of the threat is Melissa. Explaining the reasons why it's like very kind. Consider it to like check in with a person before you like unload and it's like a way to like think about whether or not you're like venting at someone or you know basically just like you're asking someone's like whole space for you and making sure that they have the bandwidth because you know. Maybe when this person sent the texts to Melissa she liked was not in a position to deal with someone else's trauma around a thing I it's like a delightful threat. I don't know Catherine. What do you think I love until the the things she writes after for those of you at home who are like wait? I don't get it. She writes the person who sent the Texas a very good friend in mind. We have the kind of relationship where and yes of course I would make time for her and her needs as she. I know she would me that is to say. She's a kind of person who doesn't have to ask permission permission for my time. But then she goes on to say that it acknowledges that she does have limited emotional availability it could be triggering and you know I think I have. Maybe eighty learn this from you or I forget who. I learned this from but I do this as well where I say. Hey Do you have the time and were bandwith to talk about this right. I can't tell you how many texts I've sent even in the last a few months with content notes or trigger and A friend of mine. This is a great example. She was very very very upset. A text chain the couple friends and we normally just send animal gifts and urges being goofy. But she's like something really upsetting happened. Can I can I share. And we're like okay. And she said that a guy on the subway with his stick out it was really upsetting. Yeah right is it was a twos. We call that a Tuesday right now. And he's still they say the only Dick I've seen irl L. is on what the ones that people have pulled out on the subway in New York City. Go on sat that it's amazing a good for you. Thank you I feel good about. Yeah so so she he goes but I took a picture of it. Can I show it to you and tell she was upset and I mean I think I'm so glad she didn't just send us Dick Right so we were both like. Yeah of course I mean can you know she was clearly very very Shaking up which I would be too and the picture. It wasn't just the peanut. It was the look on his face that was so I'd say you know smug and disgusting and like very like almost smiling and it was really creepy. And that's when I realized she was shaken to the core like this guy is a Predator and I was like get off the train and she kinda just needed to share like I. I'm feeling these feelings isn't funny. I feel like threatened. Yeah that's scary. It was very scary so but she's not just going to whip out a dick pic was totally. You'll hey ladies you know so things like that are a good example of an but of course even if she did do that I'd be like there for rate. Yeah but it was still a very nice thing for her to couch ahead of time totally. Yeah yeah that is a really good example. Unlike a thing that I found this really helpful with I found this to be really helpful when I. I WanNa like vent about something because I just think venting is one of those things that can sometimes make the other person feel like they're just like an empty vessel for your feelings and so I try to be mindful of like how I inventing and stuff like that but like especially because there's something about a friend being in like hey like can vent about this. This is like this wild thing happened if you can say to them like hey like I'm actually. I'm so swamped right now. Like right all this other stuff going on so like please feel free get it out and like all look later or like sorry. Like now isn't like a good time because I have been going on like the good thing about that is is that also like the. It's like the alternative to someone being like. Hey can I van or like or like not asking if you convent event and then you are sort of annoyed that they assumed that you had time for them and so they I guess I should use. I just use myself an example like if someone and sends me like a ton of texts in a row where they're like venting unloading without considering what I might be doing at the time or where my head might be at. I might respond like I might give them a really sort of not as not has kind or engaged response. It's as a way of like sending a message. You know being like your addict like I have shit going on you know Of course if someone someone is in crisis and they can't be like. Hey do you have the moment To hear the good news about a thing that just happened to me And that that is totally fine but I just I feel like you know just by sending a quick tax. It's like Oh my God. This thing happened in. It's you know it was really knowing it was terrible traffic. Whatever can I tell you about it? Like it's just such an easy way of acknowledging alleging that like both people are participating in the in the in the thing you know what I mean. Absolutely no I love that. That's really cool. Thank you for bringing that up. Yeah I liked it a lot and I see people. It's it's really funny because as I was setting up to record with you this morning Catherine I got a text from Rachel Miller who like everybody drank because they feel like I mentioned every other. Rachel texted me and was like people are clowning. This tweet and it. It's people people are like trying to dunk on on Melissa Cabello about this threat and I was like Oh God like I'm about to talk about this on the struggle bus. Is there some criticism of this that that I missed. Oh Shit and so. But it's it's there's there actually isn't really legitimate criticism that I've found. It's a it's it's people being snarky and people being like Just like making fun of her for having a lot of feelings or whatever and and whatever I get that I'm like feelings has those feelings circulates like it. Can you imagine like being vulnerable. It's so it's so boring to be vulnerable human being WHO's trying to get put one foot in front of the other on this extremely painful existence. We call snow melting. Hang the exactly so I haven't seen a legitimate criticism of it. I've just see people making fun of it. which whatever like you know? I Make Fun of myself for having unfeeling needs and You know asking people if they have if I could have their permission to like hold space for my feelings. Whatever like I'm not going to not do it so whatever so everyone just go make fun of something else? You're at work right. Everyone's coming down to you. Have all these deadlines one more person yells yells at you. Hey I need this. Can you prioritize this. You're like God it and your your phone blows up and it's a friend saying Oh my God I'm having the worst that you will never guess what Doug did. Dot Dot dot. What do you really have time to get into what Doug did now? Definitely not. You're you're trying to get through the the second in your own life. And what are you GonNa Right back. Don't have time I'm can't talk and then your friends mad at you right whereas hey when you have time. I'd really like to talk to you about what Doug did to. What you'd right back now is not good but definitely in two hours right like it's a little thing like that exactly? Yeah a hundred percent and like plus fuck you doug yet doug just. It's enough already like we've had enough of your bad behavior here and I want you to think about what you've done. Put on this dunce cap in the corner and think about what you've done. Doug the worst. Okay so yeah. Should we move on feeling very intense letter today to. Yeah we do. And we haven't even talked about our own like Jabirjabir topics or thing. We did for self care so Catherine author and tell me I'm Gonna I'm GonNa make this real quick. I rip down performance of male anger. But the thing is it's not how this is one of those cases actually has shag not all men. It's it's one specific. Pick one and I think I know why it's triggering to me. Activating me. Whatever Watching the impeachment hearings a little bit here and there as you do right Jim Jordan is this motherfucker. They brought on. Because he's like the the the dog barks and Barbara and it goes back to the whole cavenaugh hearings. We're Lindsey Graham yelling and everyone's galling and brick Kavanagh's yelling about beer. I'm so sick of this like as a human being in the world shirt like. Are you really that mad mad for such a like a reasonable. We're all having an adult conversation like I get it. You need snap. Sometimes you can snap it a waiter when your food's cold or whatever even though don't ever do that I don't ever do that. But what if for me. It takes a lot to make me actually yell and when I watched some of these dudes do it perform in Italy. It really fucking bothers me because I'm like I don't think you know what anger is at this point. You're just yelling and it's just and but but JIM joins civically is also a guy who was reported to you that there were young men being when he was wrestling coach. Young men were allegedly being sexually abused by the coach coach and they came to him and he kept washing their complaints. So it's like if there's anything to be mad about maybe it's that So Jim Jordan specifically reminds me of a lot of people bowl who yell to cover up for their own. Inner sadness and anger at themselves set them. They have to be. Yeah then we have to be the brunt of it because you hate your. I don't WanNA say hates himself. But there's a Lotta anger in there my friend and he may want to redirect. Because it's like I'm sick and tired of watching these dudes just yell And I I know the whole truth is like and they see women are emotional. I know we get it. And yes women are emotional too by the way and so we're men and there's ways to show emotion and anger and you can scream and yell but it's just watching this little like just the tiniest things like Oh and then I gave this. Oh you know you're just I feel if it's real L. and you're really that angry you really should explore that separately and not being on the TV and yeah so you know so. It's wanted to sort of just tip on that like watching that it just makes me feel gross on the inside and the deal with your anger. No I agree I. It's like is actually sort of wild. Like how normalize. It is for foods to be allowed to anger or are allowed to yell and by the way only some dudes right because like it's like I don't know like does anyone not have trauma from being yelled at the white man of some kind like it's I don't know it's like Like a a teacher or a parent or a friend or a stranger stranger like an this was meant like like amend yelled other met like. We've all been yelled at by white men and it's terrible so so the last thing I want to expose myself to is some dude screaming about a thing and and what you said is very affirmative way and obviously like I mean it's also also just so like racial is does well like who's allowed to be angry and all that shit so anyway yes I'm really glad you brought up Sally yes okay. What what did I write all right? Okay so I'm reading this book. The unofficial guide to game of thrones By Kim Renfro who writes about game of thrones for insider. The end is just a real delight. It's like if you're hungering. For something game of thrones related that isn't a nother Goddamn long novel Just read it. It's really fun. It has a lot of kind of insider stuff about the making of and like choices that the creators made Particularly like there's is really interesting stuff about the music and creative decisions and It's really fun it's cool and it's a nice read and so I just want to talk about that because it's something nice not something terrible which I sometimes feel like I shout about terrible things all the time so I just want to mention that Uh the other thing is we caught up on succession. which is a really good TV? Show that Just it's full of horrible people being able to each other. It's it's also it's either really good or now I'm just in the world of the show so I don't know I think it's really good and I think It's I I I just. I can't get the the thing of everyone should watch x Y Z. Like I just don't think it's real because everyone has different tastes and I can't imagine in particular. I can't imagine telling people to like get interested in a show full of like rich white people being assholes to each other and being complete monsters. There's because that when you put it that way it sounds terrible so I'm not here to tell you everyone should watch it but I enjoyed it and I think it's good and then the only I think I wanna say is like the holidays are coming up and I don't how are we getting through them. Like what are people doing like do you. I was thinking Catherine Lake. We'd have people like email us. Maybe or tweet at us and just like maybe we'll read them unlike the next episode laying. What are your strategies? He's forgetting through this time of year whether it's because I feel like no matter. What stresses you out in the universe? The holidays are a time to experience that stress whether it's like traveling or seeing family or being around being in a lot of like food situations spending money exchanging gifts like the having to socialize like I just there are so many things to be freaking out about and I'm just really curious about how what people like strategies are forgetting forgetting through whether it's like Like little things. You're doing day to day or like bigger things that you're taking into the season so I guess maybe do you think email or twitter catherine so for some hot tips on how to get through the holidays. Do you have a hot tip. You can email us at struggle. Bus PODCAST GMAIL.COM DOT COM put in the subject line. Hot It and you can tweet us at struggle. Bus pod give us some advice little snippets of information that we can use to make the holidays that much smoother. Yeah pleased that was amazing. Those such Voice and the morning voice though so I got a little gravelly I like it and and you cannot tell us if you like. Want us to say we default to not saying like to not revealing anyone's real identity just to be on the side but if you want us to say either your real name or a name that you chose for yourself or you want to give you one let us know but yeah tell tell please please help me get through the holiday and if you name yourself snow piercer extra points the way I mean if you name yourself slope your serve we will just. Instead of reading anyone else's tips will just read yours twenty times in a row all right cool. Let's do do that. Good yes yes yes. Shall we go to a thing we did for self care. I'll go first. I started finally really jogging again. Not just occasionally And it's been great. I love jogging. This is good jogging weather unless it's like sixteen degrees. I wish it was recently but I I really dig it. And and it feels good and the endorphins are kicking in Nice. That's awesome. I actually love winter run. I think it's like The it is terrible in the beginning and then it feels so so so good after a few minutes. That's awesome. Okay I did I. I don't know if I talked about this on the last episode by new glasses. Okay I did I talked about it. Yeah okay so this is what happens when you're it's like a half an hour before your recording. The struggle bus in your like you can't think of a single thing you did for self care so oh you're like oh I did get new glasses but that was not this week. Obviously 'cause it's like three Catherine I'm not GonNa lie to you and I'm not GonNa lie to our listeners. I do not think I've actually he done an intentional thing for self care this week. So this is my reminder to myself that I should probably do something and I will i. They will report back on the next episode. But I'll say this new glasses stressful and clearly you really like your glasses. I love my glasses and I love the fact that I can read my computer screen green so easily. It's really really delightful Okay so yeah I actually need is WanNa say I should shout out to a listener. Diane who tweeted me after the last episode when I lamented. I don't WanNa have to go to the mall just to get a prescription. I just want to get the same prescription I had earlier. And apparently there's a place fuck it. We're not sponsored by them. But I don't care called Zany they take your prescription and doesn't have to be up to date and they make cheap glasses. Burri starting at six ninety five. I will be going to the doctor because they have to. But that's a good tip so thank you. And that's a really good tips ninety-five Holy Shit. We'll starving it yet but so okay. Great really really good tip. Let's all get glasses. So Catherine let's transition to reading an email which you're gonNA emry yet. They need a name though they need to name. What where are you at? What are you watching these days? So many things I could do a name from succession. Yes okay so I mean look. Are these people terrible. Yes but they're really good TV character. So it's it's not an insult it's a compliment about Roy which is like the last name of like all the characters and shows that cool and this is like this is a genderless this is like a the gender a gender lists name Roy for our purposes here. We the person who wrote in and actually tell us pronouns or anything all right so you're gonna read all right dear Keeton Sally content warning sexual abuse by apparent self harm eating disorder throwing up suicide. -ality -ality violent threats mental illness. A Little Info about me. Much of my memory is a bit fuzzy because I was a lot younger when all this happened and it was traumatic I oh I didn't fully understand it all at the time as a child around nine or ten. My Dad's sexually abused me. I cope through self harm and making myself throw up slash just not eating. This went on for three years until I was able to tell my mom about it. My Dad disappeared for a week because he knew we were going to report him to the police. It turned out that he was is in the process of trying to kill himself. He also threatened to kill my mom. My mom at the time was hysterical. And Not really there for me. She was very focused on finding my dad. I still kind of resent her for this. Because at the time I needed someone to be there for me I was a kid eventually. I testified against my dad and court. He went to prison and I haven't seen him since sense. My Mom continued to visit my dad and she stayed married but separated quote unquote to him. He got out of prison. Two years ago I was in the ending of my junior year of high school. My Mom's still goes to his place and sees him she also talks to him on the phone and talks about him like he is still part of my family. I distinctly recall telling my some other ones that I would not be on speaking terms with her. If she got back together with him once my sister moved out she seemed surprised as if she didn't understand why felt so strongly about it. I have been enabled overcome. What happened to me regarding my dad? But I haven't been able to face the resentment I feel towards my mom. It bothers me that she still has any kind of relationship with my dad I am. I'm now a twenty year. Old Undergrad student and I live on campus. I suffer from PTSD depression and anxiety. My symptoms always go from bad to better when I'm at school going back home over. The summer and over breaks is really difficult for me because it triggers my symptoms and it is hard for me to go about my daily routine even leading up to the summer and breaks. I have nightmares nightmares. I can't sleep. I have really bad muscle cramps and headaches. I do go to counseling when I am home and while I'm at school I always have the option to call my therapist and talk. If if I feel like I need it I also take medications. I guess my question is how can I still have a relationship with my mom when her presence triggers my symptoms. I often feel guilty. See that I feel this way towards my mom because I love her and she has done a lot for me but I can't control my mental health. Either I wanNA relationship with her. I am just not sure how to feel. Okay around her. Should I try to get out of the situation and only see my mother over important dates like Christmas or birthdays for the sake of my mental health. Or should I just deal with it for now. Any the other ideas. Roy Ray. Thank you for this hero. Thanks for writing in I so okay yeah I think first of all. It's great that you have sort of identified the changes in your mental health based on like when you're around your mom and you know not what Or you know when you're apart from your mom because I think it's sometimes it's hard to like recognize those particular patterns and it sounds like you're really like tuned into them I think that like my my like bias is always in the direction of if you need to stop seeing someone for your mental until health. You should do that like I always prioritize like. I don't think I've ever given advice either on the show or in real life. Tiny one where it's like It's bad for your mental health. But you should see them anyway. Because I just don't think that's true. I don't think it's true with friends with family and parents anything so I think that if if I tried to get out of the situation only see my mother over important dates like Christmas or birthdays I would say yes and also not even Christmas and birthdays. If you don't want to and of course the caveat there is like it's I don't think really it's about like what are the Times you should see her in one of the Times. You shouldn't see her. I think this is really about unpacking. unpacking like a ton of shit about your relationship with your mom like in therapy because the trauma of being sexually abused that's one trauma and the trauma of the way. Your your mom is behaving is is another trauma they're entirely separate and I don't really think it's a thing that you can figure out how to react to until Oh you Really just process the shit out of it And you and you said that you've been able to overcome what happens. You said I've been able able to overcome what happened to me regarding my dad and like my rule in life and on the show is whenever. Someone says that they're over something. I think that that means that they're actually not Because I just I feel that being over something is is just like really complicated and I for sure think that we can get to a place where you know You know we're we're okay in our daily lives about something we can think about it without. Maybe having like a panic response like all the I do think all that is possible. But I think the the idea of overcoming something or being over something is really complicated and I also think that when people I think that when people people say that they've overcome something it's shorthand for. I haven't overcome this and I'm not trying to like tell you that you don't know yourself or that you're wrong. It's just that I. I think that that's like a thing that we do as people is like. We decided that were passed a thing and I just don't think we're ever passed anything. And as you know from the intro. Sure to the show. I'm not an expert and I could be totally wrong and there's probably plenty of professionals who'd be like actually you can overcome things and Blah Blah Blah and. That's totally fine. And they're they're right and I'm wrong but I will say that like when people say that to us in emails it it we kind of like ping a thing in my in my mind just because it makes me wonder like are you because let me tell you something like what you experienced And I'm not like I don't think it's cool to tell someone that like there. TRAUMAS like worse than they think. It is or whatever but like you know you're twenty and this happened ten years ago lake. That's not that long ago for something that is as blake world's changing as being sexually abused by a parent that parent going to prison and your mom not not validating your experience like. That's that's like not a lot of time so anyway I don't know. Let me stop talking Catherine Lake. What what are your thoughts here? Everything you said this is. There's so much happening I I totally agree with Sally about the overcome. But I will say this and this is maybe you know just for my own experience right Just because you're able to you leave the house and function and hang out with friends doesn't mean that you're over something but it doesn't necessarily mean you're ready to dive into the trauma. Either you know the brain is a really really the brain. Does something to you when you've been traumatized or something has happened where it really does protect you and shut down some part of it until it's ready to really handle handle it so you're you're functioning. Sounds like you've you you're at school. You're going through things but don't I hope you don't dismiss the fact that things things will come out normally as you heal. Healing takes many years decades. And the great thing about it is. You don't have to do it overnight right. It's not like that's it brain. We're doing this dealing with all the crap that happens you like right now. You're most likely still just just you know putting one foot in from the other and getting past just starting to take the tools to get past. What happens you but it's a it's a marathon not a sprint? I mean for and and for me having my father didn't do what your father did but I don't speak to him anymore. which is a very severe case? By the way and I'm guessing you do not speech your father based on this email there is also a sense of loss of a father. I mean I'm not saying you miss him but I mean you lost a parent in a very apparent still alive but you lost that parental figure in a very dramatic way. You had to testify against him. I mean I wonder if there's a feeling of guilt like I am just saying speaking for my own experience. There's still times where I feel guilty or sad or kind of Miss. The good parts about him. I am right and this is where therapy on the regular comes in because I know you said that you have to call in case it gets really bad. You don't want it to get to that point point where you have to call. That's the thing about therapy is. It's very constant maintenance. It's Kinda like when you have a car. You gotta get it in for checkups right you. Don't I want to have to be stranded on the roadside. Have to call AAA. You know it's so important to slowly ship in chip into so what has happened to you and take your time no therapist. That is good in any way is going to force you to spill everything in the first session and be like. Here's how we're GONNA fix you. It's more like just the little things day by day. What tools did you are you learning to get through? Maybe your first relationship or just when you have a little panic attack in class like there's so many little things they're not gonNA force you to talk about everything. That's that's your choice. But that's part of the healing but over the course of time you're gonNa have feelings about things and for me it's been Gosh thirty years since the the big you know split with my family and I'm still I had a little cry about something about my. Hi Dad recently that I didn't remember until now and so I'm just saying again everyone's different but in general this is what you're experiencing is very normal. I for someone who's been through what you've been through. It's so easy to be like okay. I'm over at moving on and I'm not saying you're not doing well and you're not over or you know moving forward but it's spree really long process that encourage you if you have access and if you can to see a regular talk therapist especially if your medication it's a good idea to always check in with someone the other thing about the mother who I think no. I'm sorry I'm just like feeling my own feelings about my own like I think that you don't have to cut people off. Necessarily this is your mother of course but you still can be mad at her She is seeing your abuser on the regular a hey i. I got mad at a friend for being nice to a girl who was mean to me ones but you know what I mean like. We all have these these things but this is your mother and she really been through too. I'm sure but there's a way in which you can set healthy boundaries for yourself. That isn't cutting someone off. But just saying here's what I need right now and if she can't handle it that's bad you need to do what's right for you. You know again. You don't have to cut her off but a healthy set of boundaries of I don't WanNa go home for this holiday holiday. You can do that. You know you know it's really going to hurt you physically mentally and otherwise you don't have to go home and I really related to the thing like when you're on on campus. You're you're a little bit better than you get dread going home. I had the same thing I went to college Minnesota and every time I the plane landed in the twin cities I was like A new you me and every time it landed and I was like The old me and I had memories and things that triggered me still do going for the holidays is is stressful. Oh for me to and not even dealing with what you have and I'm not saying one person's traumas worse than the other whatnot but it's so normal to have that feeling of back to this this So I think that the for I think there's a lot we just gave at Ya. I think it would really help. Maybe to start seeing a therapist on the regular Giller and start the first conversation could baby like. Hey how do I navigate going home like they just start off slow. You don't have to start off with the whole story and all the feelings wings and I think if you think about it that way like it really is baby steps. You know. You don't have to handle this all in one swoop nor should you did that Catherine. That was yeah. No that was all amazing and I was like lost in just like listening and listening to and absorbing what you were saying it was really awesome and unreleased. Thanks I'm a like that was. That was all great like I was in zone. Yeah you're you were flowing and I just want to say by the way like if you had written to us and told us this story and you were like so I think I might want to never talk to my mom again then I would be like. Yeah that's reasonable like I you know and I'm not saying what you should do or how you should feel all I'm saying is like Like Catherine author said like she's maintaining a relationship with your abuser. That is apparent. And you know we don't know what is happening with your mom and like and fine whatever but that doesn't mean that like you have to felt like your decision about your relationship with her should depend on on anything other than like how you feel about your relationship with your mom just because This is this is a lot like this is a lot and You know CBS maintaining a relationship with a person who abused you is that is like such a such a like a kind of violation of like The the kind of love and support that one expects from a parent. So I you know I would just say that like not going home is like a great first I stop and like as Catherine said like you cannot go home. It's like the best life. The entire world is like deciding not to go home sometimes and by the way like Not everyone can do that. And I totally understand that. But if you have the means and you can like make it happen Just try not going home and see how that feels now. Improves your mental health. And for what it's worth in sort of a if this helps at all make you feel I don't know less alone or anyone out there. It's been thirty five years since I was once molested gymnastics teacher. I still don't like getting touched on my knee. So there's things that will follow you and it doesn't mean you can't live a full amazing life and all this stuff there's trauma does follow you and it's sort of a matter of understanding it's going to be there and learning how to get the tools to handle it You Know Yeah Yeah. I don't mean that to be like it's GonNa be forever. No it's more lake back. Once you start dealing with all the things it gets easier right and then easier to talk about and then easier to navigate and easier to tell someone. Hey my knees are really ticklish. Please don't touch the little things like that. Yeah it but but what you went through is definitely a lot and It sounds like you're are being re traumatized whenever you go back especially cushion. MOM's still talking to him so I'd say let's just start small start with the with abyss and talking about going home in how hard view. Yeah definitely and I really would like second what Katherine set about seeing a Like therapist on the regular because yeah it's great to have someone really for one the van but you WANNA if possible get to a place where like the The Shit doesn't hit the fan like you. Have someone like all the time you you can help you out and don't get me wrong. There's some sessions where I literally. I said this two weeks. Good my shrink as I don't WanNa be here. I'm tired I don't want you know there's going to be those we were like. Why am I here but next thing you know you have a revelation instrument crack God? That's so real. Yeah Yeah Yeah. Okay Catherine well Roy. Thanks for writing in good luck with everything he posted on. How things are going and Yeah and Dan and Catherine lets you WanNa you WANNA take us out so I can talk about our song of the week. Oh my goodness of well. You always pick the best song sally all right. Well shucks you can tweet at us at struggle bus pod. Email us at struggle bus podcast at gmail.com instagram INSTAGRAM DOT com slash. The struggle. Bus pod is a Hashtag. Struggle Pod Buds for twenty to find a struggle. Buddy tweeted Sally tweet at me. At S P K Heller. A join our secret facebook page. Just email us with the email that you use to log into facebook with. Don't give me your Your facebook ID. I can't find you you that way. So that's again struggle. Bus podcast at gmail.com separate question. I'm separate from a question in the subject line. You WanNa join the group Struggle bus PODCAST CAST DOT com. If you want to help us out on Patriot on Sally Song of the Week Katherine. I'm pleased to tell you that the song of the week much much like like myself care segment. When I couldn't think of what Denver health care I was having such a hard time thinking of a song I was like? What's what mood my in? Where am I at like? I don't even know and then it was like you know what let's not over fucking think this call me. Maybe the twenty twelve hit song by Carly Rae Jepsen like so catchy. It's so good. Why is this not the song of the week every week I ask you anyway get into it? Call me maybe. Well that's wonderful. I'm so excited for this. Hey Hey thank you so much for listening Kate. I'm sally I thank you I just I just want to look at yeah.

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Stay Curious!

Licence to Coach

44:52 min | 2 weeks ago

Stay Curious!

"The following is a Frank R Wilson presentation. Welcome to the podcast that is making learning great again your source for straightforward advice from those that are great leaders and entrepreneurs know PowerPoint slides are behavioral models here off just Simple real-world Solutions to your leadership development news. If you're looking for the latest trends from today's gurus look elsewhere, but if you want to learn from those that have done what you want to do with you found it. It's time for license to coach on your host Frank R Wilson. Which dive on in? Welcome to our first podcast. We're just so excited to get started on this journey to share Knowledge from people like you you've made a successful career as a leader or an entrepreneur off our guest today is technically retired, but you'd never know it his past includes Stenson radio marketing and insurance railroads all sorts of things and am also a branch manager for a fortune five hundred company now happily retired. He is busier than ever with his work in acting and voice over work as well as photography where he's won numerous Awards, please join me in welcoming Rick lecompt to the program. Why Rick I'm glad you could join us today. Welcome to license to coach. Well, thank you very much. Frank are really appreciate being here it full disclosure Rick and I are friends. But and in the process of having formed a friendship, I've learned a lot about his his earlier career and I'm really quite impressed with it. And so I thought he'd be a terrific guests to have on our program. I was wondering if you could maybe could you just kind of give us a brief idea history of your of your leadership journey and and how you've gotten to about your retired currently, but how you've got worked up to that retirements page all the different leadership roles that you have. Can you kind of summarize that for us? Yeah. Yeah Frank I can it's similar to the little long list, but it started out with them when I was on the swim team in high school and have a funny story that made would get to and then after that I I went to work on the Railroad and I did that for about twenty years and then I became a commodity job. Broker and then from that I moved into radio I've started out of the sales guy ended up running eight stations and then I wrapped up my career with insurance, which was the most rewarding thing that I think I probably did what those are not necessarily related Industries. Are they know what it's like I used to tell my staff all the time. Especially the young folk stay curious. Yeah. No that's good advice and it's it, you know, even though they weren't related Industries. I'm guessing that your prior experience has helped serve you well on and off new jobs. Yes. Yeah, that's absolutely true. And it's mainly about establishing expectations of vision for yourself most importantly wage. So that way you know where you're leading to and and then to find the consequences both positive and negative and then everything works out. Well tell me about your first leadership and I'm kind of curious about that maybe talked to me about that and anything that you learned from that first experience and mistakes or things you did. Well, I'd be curious. Okay. Well sure. Well first one tiny short story when I said the swim team in high school right now We snuck into we're on a bunch of high school boys in Arizona We snuck into the Playboy club. It was the middle of the afternoon and nobody was there and we were we were in the dressing room and all sudden we heard a noise and everybody was thrashing around and I said follow me and they all followed me and I opened the door and went in and everybody piled in behind me. I let us in, New Jersey. Closet I broke out laughing and went out turned out. I was in janitor. He thought it was funny we were there and so that was my first leadership. You've got to know I'm going now that that's a good that's a good lesson to learn from that. Well, I mean, did you meet any Playboy bunnies and as a result? No, no, you know, but Hope Springs Eternal, but my first choice my first real position as a as a leader was among the railroad believe it or not at twenty years old. I got promoted to a conductor on the Illinois Central Railroad. Yeah, he was wage and hired anybody or promoted anybody for about fifteen years and then I came along the hired me and then they hired gosh twenty five people after me in about the next six years. And so I was able to evolve it into a conductor and what I learned there is because I was working with with guys who have been there for twenty thirty years. That's not a yeah what I really log. Was that it wasn't about big me and little you it was about how we going to do this together knowing that they knew more than I did. So I was very comfortable with saying you know, what what would you like to do in a circumstance? What makes the most sense to you? So it's always getting input from people and now but that was that was extreme, you know, I needed in my career that a lot of times for whatever reason sometimes the you know, the smartest guy in in the the company's the one that gets the promotions and yet that's not necessarily off the person who's in the best position to to effectively lead people. It's not necessarily about all this technical knowledge and your experience there with the train almost kind of proves that to me. Yeah, I would agree with now. I'm curious what you and I I have this Vision in my mind, but what does a conductor actually do? I'm curious? Well, you're actually you're the boss of a train everybody thinks everybody thinks it's a game. It's not it's the it's the conductor and your job is to decide, you know what it is cuz you get you get a list of things to do with red cars when to leave places window window stay in places when to duck in off the main line into the sightings of and then you're just then you're responsible for getting that work done efficiently. It was it was it was a great time in my life. But like I said, I did it for twenty years. Yeah, and you also stepped into a situation that it's been my experience and I've seen it to that way you have when you have other people that have far more experience than you and also probably have been at the company longer than you that's that's not an easy role to step into did you consciously say to yourself off to make sure I solicit information and ask questions because because of my position and how I got here was that a conscious decision know when Consciousness it was pretty much I was scared to death cuz I knew that was a situation Cuz I knew that was situation and and the other thing is I didn't have anything to prove, you know, one of the things that happens with with people who move into into leadership positions wage. They really have this idea of that. It's all about. I'm the boss. Okay? Well, that's that's the lowest. So that's a position level, you know, and after position level. There's the permission level where people will follow you down because they want to and then there's then there's production level which has to do with actually having some credibility and the things that you're doing and then after that it's off and this is maybe the most important thing and that's to develop people because the idea of of true leadership and I know this may sound corny but it's absolutely true like real leader doesn't develop following a hearse a real leader develops other leaders, nothing funny about that and then after people people will follow you up out of respect because you have a proven track record dead. Yeah, that's a good point. And as I've told people my audience probably knows that I've done leadership development for a number of years. And one of the things I was used to say was that your job is to find your replacement wage develop them because that's the only way you're going to be able to move on and that's essentially kind of In The Same Spirit of what you're saying. So that's that's great. I would agree with that. I would agree with that to frank Baum. Let's go into some of the other jobs first, I guess so from a conductor at the train you went to remind me again after I was conducted I went I managed I was Commodities Trader and I started out I started out as a Trader just for myself, but cuz I was working on the railroad. I was calling all this corn and soybeans. I was wondering where win so I could I start investigating that I'm curious did there's no other way to say it did really well and then I got asked to become part of the job. The company and and then after that with continued success is that I started managing accounts for people and so that was for the interesting thing because I didn't know what I was doing, you know making it up as I go along as a common trait in me Frank, it's I know you know, so the first thing I had to do is I tend to achieve credibility by doing research home. I need to find out stuff. I mean all these things you always have to find out stuff and not have to you have to have a knowledge of the fact that you're actually producing producing results. Yeah, now what I find fascinating is probably an entirely not only in different industry than an entirely different environment than we have. Basically blue-collar to white-collar. I would guess. Yeah, and and and was that was that adjustment difficult? No. No, it was just a just a change of clothes and I went in because I want every every change I ever made is because I wanted to and so, you know, if you want to then you just do it. Now and and if I understood correctly when you first started it you were essentially in business for yourself. Yes. So what what prompted you to walk take that leap from twenty years of getting a steady paycheck to all of a sudden going into business for yourself. I mean, it sounds like it kind of a scary risky move. It was might matter of fact, my dad worked on the railroad as did my grandfather and wow my great grandfather and uncles and cousins and all of that long railroad family when I left the railroad. My dad was Superman. Wow, it was probably about six months before he would actually have a real conversation with me rather than a short. Short little answer the question conversation, right but then as things progressed and you know life became really good is that I think I actually impressed my dad finally wage, but it was it was it was indeed. It was indeed quite the quite the change. So and then from that you then you actually became part of the firm that you were kind of subcontracting to I guess. Yes. Yeah, cuz a commodity trading your router about a year out there by yourself doing stuff. It's all up to you, you know win or lose it's all up to you which I like and then becoming part of the firm then it was off of acquiring clients yourself and then bring them in and then making them successful because that's a that's another big part of the leadership. It's not about you being a successful if you make other successful, they'll make you successful now so having them being having them being successful, you know, which is very important and often and then actually that would pretty well not it did that for a couple of years and then I saw people made a lot of money and then lose it all and so I saw them repeatedly and so all of a sudden I thought wait a minute here. Things have gone pretty good. And so I went in one day and and resigned. Wow, which was it which is the big shot cuz I didn't want to do what I'd seen so much of money well, but I mean if what you're saying is is true. I mean it it's basically legalized gambling in a way. I mean, it's I don't mean that as a negative or or an insult but I mean that's that's it is if people fortunately there a lot of people who consider gambling rather than structured investigation and work life and the people that consider a gambling lose their money and now children and and the people that treated as a profession make the money. Yeah. So you resigned from that and then if I memory serves me right that that's when you got into Insurance correct know I got into the radio business after that. I'm sorry. That's right. Yeah. Yeah, one of the what one of the guys that used to come in Thursday All the time was talking about buying a radio station younger guy, but certainly plausible and he was going to buy this radio station and he asked me if I would like if I would be a rusted and coming in and being a sales manager for this little two stations in Central, Illinois where I used to say that the light bulbs had more wattage than we did wage. So I said, okay, I'll do that then I that's when I resigned my position as I mentioned and then Then he didn't show up for the closing and disappeared from the face of the earth. Oh my gosh, you know so now I'm officially at that point left the railroad of Meri wife kid dog. Yeah. Yeah and and left the other company and and turned on my accounts over and all of a sudden I didn't have anything and so the guy that owned the radio stations. He said well, you should come to work as a sales guy if you want to and so I did I went there and and then it turned out I was there the first day and nobody was there the second day nobody was there except you know that secretary and the job and the jocks and so the second I asked at the end. They asked the secretary said, you know, we're Stave and all the rest of people they said, oh they may tell you if you're over in Indianapolis, they're in bankruptcy court the station's bankrupt and it was like so there is a chance to learn things again. And so I just started birth. Studying studying studying studying studying as I've done with everything and encourage that to everybody and and then at the bankruptcy hearing about three weeks later. I had managed to walk hire some people important thing always the right people for the right job right hire some people and we started bringing in money. And so when they the the the attorney for the other side said are you doing about shutting the company or they're shutting the station, said nothing and I looked over at Dave I said Dave we got it on the run we're going to do this don't do this. We can save this. Well, he was already turned out. He was too long to deep so he ended up being able to sell it to a rich kid who bought the station for him as a present and then and then so we just started working in a field. I wouldn't get in. We were saving it and built it off into stations the three stations to five stations to eventually we had eight stations and we dominated Central, Illinois birth. Part of Indiana and we were one of the first people ever to bounce signals off a satellite. We had to have the equipment built forest. And so yeah, so that was that was off an exciting ride to iPad. How how long were you doing that for? I did that for about 8 and 1/2 years. And yeah, and then this page most important thing about that was that since I didn't know anything is that I learned and learned and learned if I wasn't working I was learning and then when I would hire people who have them learn the same stuff that I was learning, but I mean, I mean that they're good old book learning talking about experiences getting back and and debriefing at the end of the day so that way you can cuz if you grow yours if you grow your people who are part of your team, then you end up growing yourself at the same time in other words wage. Think what you're saying is what how the words that come to mind to me is for the continuous learning is really a key to success whether it be leadership or not. Absolutely. Yes. Absolutely. Well, we had been been off the radio then then I did get into Insurance because I left the radio station over and there was some ethical things that I didn't approve up. So I left them out of the blue one day and then I saw an ad that said do you like sales just so call this number and I called and it turned out it was a company that was an insurance company. So I I am with them went. Well. I ended up going to work as an insurance salesperson not housing car long-term care or Medicare supplement wage, you know more financial kind of stuff. So, okay, I did that and then again learning learning learning and then my my boss French manager, right then who was the same kind of leader on talking about is that the care for your people? You know, they're not the help, you know your friends who are who we work with but he said I found this place called The Life underwriting training Council. They had these Great Courses lots of them. And so I went and I said to Mike Mike I found this course, you know, he said are you instead I said, yeah. He said you're really insignificant. Okay. Well, hold on. I'll get back to you in about a week and I got back on and he got back with you in a week and he said you really sure about this. Yep, and he said okay, here's when the course is going to be and here's the locations should be I said great great. He said oh and he handed me this great big three inch thick manually says, oh by the way, you're teaching it, but true story off and my first big big exhaustive course insurance was one that I that I taught, but you talked about in between the weekly class. You talk about study times. Yeah, and so I ended up as a life underwriting training Council fellow and a certified long-term care consultant in a certified signatures advisor and and a number of other things but that's a great way to that was one of the things I know the cubbyhole Stephen Covey always talked about is the best way to learn something is you know, once you do kind of money gained that information is to teach it to others and that just helps internalize it even more. Absolutely. Yes, and that's all that's also something to do that in my situation for see how that worked by surprise is that all through the rest of my career is that I often had people teach them nothing that massive but always they were always wage were always teaching other people because again, you know, you don't grow followers your grow leaders. Now did did you find that was there any one particular attribute or a skill that you would have as a lease offer that that basically served you well in all those different roles. Yes, and that's it's it's knowing where you were dead leading to not just some nebulous thing. Oh, we're going to be a success. Okay, that's that's ridiculous that but it's it's knowing where you're leading to change and then and then writing down write it down start out with I think it's called back of the envelope where you write down six points or what it is you're going to do because if you can't describe what you what you're going to do on the back of an envelope then all you're interested in is verb it so it's figuring out what you're going to do. Then how you're going to do it and by doing that you have written down clear things for you to do and then also equally as important if not more important wage clear expectations for you want the people that you hire to do now and then when they come in you go you can go over those expectations, you know, not just here read this and get back to me and sign off on Triple coat and you know here and give a copy of stuff know you sit down with him forward. So here's here's what I'm going to do. And here's what I expect you to do. And then they and then, do you do you agree to this stuff? So that way later on when if it doesn't work out that it's it's there's no emotion in this it's like hey, you know, here's here's what she did pay remember us talking about this second or third interview. Whatever is remember it's talking about this thing. And this is the stuff that you said that you promised me that you would do. Well, let's go with are you doing these things? And then what you find is they know they're not doing them many many many a time when I would have to part company with people is that afterwards, you know at the end of the day after that all occurred is that we would go on and have beers together and man because it wasn't about me, you know, like dominating and and you know, the mastering them it was about the clear expectations and they know I never had anybody tuch and that didn't expect it. Yeah, so often takes all that it takes all that emotion out of it so that way you don't have to deal with it cuz it was always hard. I had to get rid of one of my best friends one time. He was dead, but that way you don't have to suffer through that and also they don't have to suffer through that because if you like them to bring them in you'll probably like them anyway, so it's not about torturing members. Revenge and you know an old but all the rest that stuff it's everybody taking responsibility. And that is that is the problem. I see all around and I see it now in a couple of places except and that is if you're the leader you'll take responsibility when we win, you know, when things go good. We all win. Okay when things go bad, that's Mayer. That's not a that's not that's not there. That's I goofed up there. There's something here or there's something I didn't establish so that way it's it's that keeps you out of that big me-little you off. We'll get back to the program in just a moment. But first I wanted to tell you about our group called license to coach. It's not really a company per se but it is a group of people that are ready to help you as an individual or your name or your company with your leadership development needs and we do that a couple of different ways ones rather unusual and that we bring in a bank of actors including myself and we subcontract with your dog trainer of choice and help make role-plays more realistic by making them real plays in other words the actors play the employee so that the person who's trying to practice a new skill home is interacting with someone that's a little bit more realistic. We try to make the role plays more realistic so they can become more impactful for you as a student. But that's not where it stops. We actually provide a lot of contactless of services as well as is popular these days and we're trying to come up with ways that we can help you with your development without happen to have any close contact in the internet makes that possible we offer assessments as well as 360 reviews that are all done online as well as the feedback is done online by Yours Truly, It's something I'm very excited to offer and I think it'll be a real interest to not only individuals but also small businesses because we try to offer these services and small business price off friendly to small businesses. So check it out. You can find us on Facebook under the title of License to coach. You can also find it on my webpage Frank R wilson.com just look at the top four licensed coach and that'll take you to the page. It's Frank R wilson.com and license the coach look it up. We'd be delighted to help you song. off What what did you find was the toughest part of being in a leadership role? What was the most difficult thing? I think the probably the most difficult thing was that I would cuz I want everybody to succeed and you know, and I know that you can do it if you have work and learn. Okay, so I want everybody to see and so when I would see people not doing it, you know, like we were just describing the things you know, here's what you need to do succeed you want to do. Okay, no promises. Okay, is it does see people not do the things that will that will that will help them succeed and they just failed that like they choose to they they're actually making a choice to fail and that that that was that was hard that took a lot of giving used to and that matter of fact, that's probably where the established written down consequences came from was Yeah, take take me out of that that was hard cuz I know I mean, you know, we talked a lot of stuff, you know made it up as I go along. Okay, so I know you can do things off. You just have to do just have to really and truly do it and have a plan. Did you? There were certain times in your career, I guess and I think we had talked about this before where you actually were kind of in business for yourself or actually, you know, operating a small business correct. Um commission sales which which always commission sales is in business, but for yourself, yeah. Well and the reason why I say that is that I'm I think I'm qualified to to answer this. I'm just kind of curious what does some of our listeners are either entrepreneurs or looking to start a business and those sorts of things. I'm just curious from your perspective and your experience. What what advice would you have for people that are either budding entrepreneurs or people that are already gotten started well, Have a plan as I think I mean, I don't mean to beat a dead horse here. But write it down. You know what your expectations are and and have that and have faith in the other is to train yourself train yourself constantly you have there's another corny phrase of which I know of gazillion is that quit learning you quit learned that is that is absolutely. Absolutely true. So like that phrase go good. Yeah. Well, no. No, so I'm so I'm curious then what I think I know what you're saying, but it's worth asking. Anyway, what did you find was your your best learning tool? What was the thing that seemed to work best for for you that others May benefit from well, I think of something from a guy off. His name is Brian Tracy ran for governor of California one time but a great trainer he was a trainer in m a d o business but his stuff is much wider than that a matter of fact it at the end. If we can't I've got a couple of reading list things. I'd like to describe but here's here's what here's what he he referred to them as they're smarter gold and smarter good, excuse me. Smarter goals are this specific. So this is stuff to write down specific what it is. You're going to age do not I'm going to be a success. You know, I'm going to build something by something. Okay. So it's it's it's specific goals measurable goals So that you can actually put a a pen and pencil to it right action related. So it means something you're going to do not something you're going to conceptualize something tells me that I am showing a word. Yeah. Yes it is and you're getting smarter Frank realistic, you know, and then time-bound and the package biggest of the whole thing is tied down you say okay, here's what is I'm going to do this and you know, I'm going to be a success even if you do all the other stuff. I'm going to be a success, you know off by early next year. That's not a goal. You know, I'm going to be a success recording these other things I wrote down on on Thursday, January 14th at 5:00 in the afternoon. Okay, that's a real goal. Yeah. Well and what did you tell people? Let's say if they they they they wrote a good job. Smart goal and for some reason, you know, they didn't make it they didn't meet it. But but there was an effort put forth to meet it. What what's the message there to someone else? Well again the message first of all to the leader is that did you inspect it as you were going along? You know cuz if I gotta go that's going to be you know, three months out the time for me to check your own no help which is what check it is time for me to check there's not three months in and say oh too bad, you know you blew it. No, it's all along all the lungs so that that way you can give birth honest feedback. Cuz if you don't get people honest feedback, you know, which is another difficult thing to learn to do is if you don't get people honest feedback and then they say, oh, well, that's a lot of it. That's your fault cuz you did not really help them by not telling them. Now so as far as for maybe getting started, I got the impression from you that you're you're really big on goal setting and and and having a business place, I guess as to what it is you're going to do and how you're going to do it now. Yeah, even if you write a business plan, okay can write it out and then you throw it in a desk drawer and don't look at it again. That is that is ten times better than ever sitting down and doing it. You know because my when I own my own business, I had put together a business plan and it actually was it was very I don't know what the word is. It was a combination of disappointment but also offer a validating that you know, some of the things in the business plan did come true that I wanted to do and some of them didn't but but it helped refocus me a little bit by looking back at it occasionally. So I understand the value of that show me a map, you know, if you're if you're out in the wilderness, which is what a lot of stuff we're talking about entrepreneurship and building things out of scratch and all that. But if you're out in the wilderness and you don't have a job interview, I have a map. How are you going to know where you are? How are you going to know where you're going and how you know how you're going to get there? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm curious. How long do you knowing what you know now and the fact that you've had a lot of experience. What you think you would have done differently? Hold on. I probably would have left the railroad sooner. That's that was it was it was a great twenty years back. It was working outside. I liked all of that, you know out in the weather, but it but it took up but it took up I took up a whole lot of time. Well, it sounds to me like it was it was also as a family Legacy issue to that made it more difficult to quit. I'm sure yeah, and also how long has been a big fan of learning I ended up graduating high school when I was fifteen started college when I was sixteen and let me tell you what that was a mistake. My dad used to say I majored in to things in a pool and women and got master's degrees in both well and as a result of that I went to the work on the railroad because that's about what I could do Thursday. Oh, wow, excuse me. What? I guess finally I would not finally but I'd be curious your observations because you've obviously worked a lot of people who were perhaps over seeing you or or they were your leader and you've read a lot you're very well-read and and educated on leadership and things of that nature are there any Are there any role models out there that that you admired and and what was it about them that you that you got from them and it could be someone you know famous that we all know or could be, you know, someone else we don't know. Well, actually there's quite a few of the ones that stick out the most and I've mentioned is for Brian Tracy. He has a dead body. Oh series if you must call the psychology of achievement, which I think was instrumental Peter Wilkins was a guy that I worked with and at the insurance company members that he was one of those guys who really cared about his staff paid attention made sure that they were in a development and then held you accountable to the goals that you said that you want to do accomplish. So Peter was a big one another guy who wrote two books. That I would highly recommend Morris Chapman Morris Chapman was was all this talk of I've been a lot about accountability and clear feedback, right? That's those are for more easy and more seconds two big books. They're not big but they're impactful is number. Number one is working without a net and that's followed up by choice. It's wave leadership. The two books work in Canada. I I've offered not anymore. I'm not working but I've offered all through my career that wage people get these books or if they work for me in the insurance and it's like you go get the book, but if you didn't like them, I would buy them back for you and a 50% increase the wage paid $10 for it. You got $15 back. I never bought a book back from anybody which will make you both cuz again once you know, what's happening job. Actual who's kind of a famous guy used to be a pastor found out you can make more money lecturing true. Yeah, John Maxwell. He's he's got a gazillion bucks. But the two biggies are the 21 irrefutable laws of leadership. And the second one is the 17 indispensable laws of teamwork off, but those those words at 5 things, I think are incredibly important and working without a net entrepreneurs working without a net is the book you want when my daughter went off to college and ended up if I can brag graduating man-made Magna cumlaude E from Harvard, is that when she knock I gave her this book and I said you read this book and and she did and she's now recommended to other people. She's got a fancy job now out on the East Coast, but yeah off Working without a net if the number one thing that everybody needs to read. And again it's available on audio. It's a bridge. Oh, I don't have time. I'm too busy posting on Facebook. Give me a break, you know, they're working without a net moisture these yeah, I mean these days there's almost no excuse the technology affords us the opportunity to whenever you got ten minutes here or there. You said something it can be instantly available to you. I mean, like what you're describing. It could be a you know, you could have it saved on your phone and it's an audiobook and you can listen to a chapter while you're waiting for an appointment or something. I mean, it's not dead somebody asked more for you or you take the hard copy of stick in your back pocket. Yeah. Yeah, cuz there's something you know, there's my wife's a fancy school teacher at home many different things. But anyway is there's a practical thing attacked whole thing is when you hold something in your hand and you're inputting information through your eyes that the two things will Connect app. Right, they'll form a connection and it's that's good thing too. Because I told you I knew a thousand Courtney phrases about excuses. I'll get these Mark Twain. He said there's a thousand excuses for failure, but there's never One Good Reason and and the other one was oh who wrote Tarzan Edgar Rice Burroughs, we had forty million Reps for failure, but not a single excuse. Well, no, I would like to ask you because I think you just from my observations. I'm guessing you were able to establish a a pretty decent work-life balance, which is an issue that's of a particular interest of mine any any tips that you would have for leaders and entrepreneurs to owning your own business can be consuming believe me. Yes, it certainly can the idea is that you have or suggestions in terms of trying to keep things in perspective and and make sure that you have some sort of I mean, yep. For each balance not 50% work fifty percent, you know personal life it's over to be out of whack. How do you how do you Harmony I guess is what I'm looking for work-life harmony. Okay. Well, that's one point had 42 sales people working directly for me or with me is what I really meant to say is that is I would and they were on the phone all the time. And so it was he was the deal is the new call me anytime in the morning, but at 10:00 it's shut off. Okay. So with that as a parameter is that I always woke up early, you know get up at 5:00 in the morning. You know that your coffee made you don't have a sip of it check your emails or whatever it is you need to do don't get on there and just be us on Facebook and then well it's true and so long and because nobody else out there is is about Meridia awake and doing stuff at that time so you don't get interrupted all the time. So that's a that's that's a big part of it get up early then work really work. And then the other part of it is make sure you take vacations because you can you know success as addictive, you know, and so you know, like hey, this is going good. I'm going to do this. I'm going to go do you know it's boring, you know, it's addictive or take vacations. If you don't make your tell yourself take vacations, you are not going to you know, like refresh your brain and your life and it's just you know, cuz if you don't take yourself, you can take care of your spouse, you know, because you're no fun to be around I would say yeah get up early work when you're supposed to be working and absolutely positively take vacations. Good advice good advice. Well, yeah as I mentioned in the introduction, I mean now you're you're currently retired, but that doesn't mean you're taking it easy. I'm fascinated gaze at some of the things you do and I just thought they were worthwhile kind of Bring It Up briefly. I mean you you and I both share the the interest in acting and have had some successes here and there with commercials and T and stuff like that. But the thing that I found most interesting was that you have a developed a passion for photography was was that something that developed only sense retirement or was that going on long before I took you off there? Oh, it's like probably all of us. We've always taken pictures. And then before I was before I was getting ready to retire which is Thursday. I I did this I went to Paris because take vacations. Did you hear me say that I went to Paris and I and I took this one picture. I thought boy that looks like a watercolor and I got back and I did a whole bunch of dead. In Photoshop, which I learned after I got back and I made it look like a watercolor and then I had it burned into tiles and then I built for it and then to my great surprise somebody bought it for me for $800 and it's like oh this is pretty cool. And so I did a some of the swamps around here also offer dial and so that's where it really took hold and then I went to an art show where one of my pieces was hanging out of the swamp stuff and I developed friendships with artists and then that led to learning stuff about art and learning about color balance and all the router beside stuff. So it just it just that that thing against a curious daycare is Jose. Yeah, for those of you that are interested either in the books that that Rick has mentioned or worn seeing some of us photography, which I would encourage you to do to explore just look on our Facebook page for underage. Just to coach, you know trying to have some information there about the the books that he recommended as well as where you can see his photographs Rick. We're just about out of time. I I can't thank you AJ anything in closing that you think would be important to mention to our audience and maybe I've missed no, I would like to recap with write it down. Write it down with time limits and and then working without a net by Bryant working without a net by Morris Chapman. Those those are two big write it down and drink write it down and some something tells me I've heard that before and Hey listen, right? I can't thank you enough for for joining us. I I've certainly enjoyed it. I hope you'll have yeah, it was a lot of fun. Good deal again. I I think you have the some Sage advice there that I over listeners will take the heart easier the kinds of things that can certainly make your leadership Journey or getting into business for yourself. Then perhaps a little bit easier if you follow some of this advice, so thanks again for for joining us Rick and thank you to our audience. We appreciate you joining us today again, look for any kind of updates on our Facebook page or Instagram page license to coach if we've got anything going on or some helpful tips really hosting are nominated as well. And with that there's only one thing left to say, that's simply this off. My name is Frank Mara Wilson, my time's up by thank you for yours. Thanks for listening to license the coach.

Facebook Rick lecompt Frank Frank Mara Wilson Brian Tracy Morris Chapman Morris Chapman New Jersey Frank R Wilson Playboy club Stenson radio Illinois Central Railroad Frank R Arizona secretary Paris Illinois Indiana Peter Wilkins frank Baum
865 - Princess Bride and the Friendly Faced Woman

Sleep With Me

1:12:28 hr | 6 months ago

865 - Princess Bride and the Friendly Faced Woman

"Ladies and gentlemen boys and girls infringe beyond the by. Mary. It's time for the PODCAST. Who's here four you? I'm here to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company but but I'll be doing it in a pretty goofy and silly way if you're new in I'll never never actually get any points but there won't be any points so it'd be soft rounded things and more nubs points The podcast with a lot of jobs in that many points. The podcast podcast. It's more of an outcast in a podcast. What am I talking about well? I'm talking about sleep with me at Sanford. Sleep with meet the podcast that puts you to sleep and if your new natch super important this an expert. Apu if you're a regular listener this hour able to bring you the show free so if you if you don't listen now when your hand hits the Fridge tomorrow go to sleep with me. Podcasts DOT COM slash sponsors He scoots in you know. Been trying to figure out how to talk about this. I mean you know y y everything that's going on right now in everybody's at a different part of your journey. I want to let you know that I have a current plan and I'm staying fluid here But the PODCAST is going to be continuing to come out on Sundays and Wednesdays as usual in those years. Listen on the Patriot fee. All those releases are going to be coming out as usual so the pie is going to be here for you if you need it during the day for a break. It's going to be here for you in. This is a challenging time for everyone and so if you're in a position to do so and your regular listener. I if you could think about supporting the podcast and a one. A few ways mentioned very quickly here if you can afford to sports show five ten or twenty dollars a month. I'm Patriot and that is a huge help So that the podcast will be here and basically it's just like a membership you're paying for the value you get out of the podcast. It's just an optional thing. So that the PODCASTS can be free for anybody that needs it right now. It's almost like you're paying for your membership in. Thousands of other people's membership was just five ten or twenty bucks a month. But that's only if you can afford that on a monthly basis. Another way to sports show is by our merch or support our sponsors which you do through websites sleeping me. Podcasts DOT COM. You'll see our sponsors. You'll see a link to emerge store. Those are huge ways to support the show. The other ways just to let people know about it which a lot of you are doing a really appreciated but y you know the podcast is going to be here for you and if you can't support the show the show's going to be here to support you. Don't worry about it okay. Thank you so much all right everybody. I'm really excited to talk about our new sponsor woop in we're always looking for ways to improve. Our overall. Health. And fitness of courses is sleep is a gigantic part. That we all know that you know. You're listening to sleep with me. Shoo Shoo. You really understand a how sleep impacts your day to day life. So whoop is a fitness tracker. I've been using it for about a month now in it. Lets you monitor your sleep performance? You could see how recovered your body is for the next day when it comes to sleep. Woop is a next level. I've tried a lot of different asleep. In fitness trackers in telling this is the one holy moly it not only monitors stages asleep. It monitors your sleep cycles. Your sleep efficiency. It also tells you how much asleep you're going to need. Based on how strenuous your day was just been blown away because whoop it offers you who the data and then you can act on it. It really has helped me remind me. Oh wait a second. I gotTA extend my wind down routine in spend a little bit but daily go to bed a little bit earlier. Also it gives you a time to check in about your sleep every day and it really has helped to a. I'm St- I've stopped reading in bed. You know in the this is the first time I'm actually following that sleep hygiene advice to just use your bed for sleep in a good idea when you start sleep with me. I it just really offers so much. More indepth his sleep data that you can use to better improve your nighttime routine get more rest Live a fuller life. I mean that's what we're all about so if you're looking to be smarter about how you sleep. How you recover in how you train she can be at your best. You have to get your whoop wearing it right now as a record a here in for my listeners woop is offering fifteen percent off when you use the code sleep at checkout so go to whoop dot com. That's W. H. O. O. P. DOT COM. So that's whoop dot com and use Promo Code Sleep at checkout to save fifteen percent off your order. It really will help you. Unlock Your Sleep. And unlike your best self today Thank swoop a everybody. It's time for the sleepy supporters zone. It's part of the show where I celebrate the people who support to show so we can bring it to you free on a regular basis and I'm want to celebrate Chancellor of Candy to Leah and Luna Now Chancellor Candy They got Some brand new sleep with me. Podcast glow in the dark stars Pay Sleep pants on the on the back. Side Further birthday and it looks like a sleep with me podcast tank for Merch store and then Luna the signed up with quip a Gat brand new you do talk about healthy habits Loon has got healthy habits. Supporting quip in a really appreciated. If you support a sponsor tag the sponsor and a social media post or send them an email let me know about tag me in the post so I can try to thank you on the sleepy supporters zone and by the way this by this is here to support good sleep but if you need more support than than this guests can provide be sure to check our show notes for resources that are out there for you Thank you so much for listening. Thank for supporting the show. Oh mystery barred before we slow it down. Who helps out on the show? Carol WSL elect Scotty around. Mystery Bar commissioned at intact song erase. Tell me the story person. You see the kind shine straight on through the facebook Kids Stacey Sarah Julian Jennifer. These are your non raid sportier. Scooter Dion Bird. John Support. The sponsors can find anything long and sleep with me gets done gone and we're so proud to be part of nine fail presents now with the mystery barred. I'm dear scooter on twitter and instagram. That's where you could find me now. It's time to slow it down if you want sign up for Future one day newsletter podcast APP slash newsletter. And what do you say we go with the show? You up all night tossing turning mind racing trouble getting to sleep trouble. Staying Asleep will welcome. This is sleep with me. The podcast the shoe is sleep. We do it. The bedtime story you need to do is get embiid or not. The lights impressed play. I'm going to do the rest of what I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could sit aside whatever's keeping you could be you know you're thinking about things on your mind thoughts feelings fizzes feelings emotions coming up so things you're thinking about You know pass prisoner future feelings emotions or physical sensations. It could be changes in time or temperature or routine A lot of routine when changes are routine. Changes in your teen. Anything whatever's could be something else What I'm GonNa do what I propose to do if we would. I'm applying to do what I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place. Sega plenty of room here. I'll send it over there. So do we got echoing wail due to send my voice across the deep dark night l. Use lulling is soothing. Curry Creaky dulcet tones. Pointless meanders superfluous. Tangents go off topic and Manakin and make a lot of sense. I won't get to any point so like I said. Oh I get your point about nubs in a bit in Nibs. Nfl Talk About Nibs. Nibs Earth saying also degree. Kate Nibs Wrote article about the podcast wants And she's a great writer in bad cast person Which so where was I? Guess we got off track there as pandering to a bit. So Oh yeah many go off top going to get off track so he just demonstrated that by accident so if your new watching. I know a few things especially if you found your way here through some other means you're brand new. This podcast one. It is a bit more than a bit different. It's very different a bit strange. So it's one thing to know so if you're skeptical or doubtful or you're feeling I don't know exactly no wooden ambivalent Ma means or meant break in see we say. Well I'm not so sure about what's GonNa you know that's a perfectly normal reaction for this show so I want to acknowledge that that's totally normal and you'd probably sit with those feelings because you probably feel not for a while but I want to give you some basic info like one thing is Hispanic. Guests does not work for everybody so give it a few tries and Ken to see how it goes. Ed linked to. I'd like you to give it a try but you don't have to but if you do give it one try give it a couple because there's like a lot of people that listen and most of them said it took two or three tries before. I realized despite guest will never make any sense. Lake the most sensible thing about it is never makes any sense so gives you tries. That's leads into the next point. Which is this is kind of a podcast. You don't really listen to or if you're listening to it expecting Lee. You're probably going to be if you're expecting me to get to a point or start a story or start making sense or Iseo boy. Can't wait for for a scoots to talk about the next welcome tonight fail novel or the Princess Bride and cover those in detail You might be waiting awhile because they don't really like. I'm not good at getting to the point. So this podcast is kind of best consumed loosly or out of focus where you're like Not sure quite sure. I understand what he's talking about. Do not need to know. It's like somebody fall asleep. Don't necessarily need to know if he does or he will so try to approach it with a loose grip and you don't need to listen. This is a one podcast. You can only kind of barely listen to if you want You could actively non listen. That's one of the lessons. I UH-HUH UH-HUH LEAGUE. You pretend you're listening to the works a lot better than actually listening to this show. You just lie there uh-huh scoots Oh boy you said oshkosh b`Gosh again and then to your earth saying wow really you so you're GonNa talk about Nibs in nubs eventually but you're in the middle talking about Saja So is the podcast. You don't need to listen to strangely enough while this is a sleep with me and it's a like One of the main a bedtime story podcasts. For grownups in a lot kids listen now to what up kids It's also a podcast. That doesn't necessarily put you to sleep. It's here wall you fall asleep so it's a little bit differently. I don't know I don't know actual sleep podcasts. Sipa illegal I guess when I think about asleep podcast they think about someone kind of like doing something that makes you fall asleep right. I'm more to take your mind off stuff and keep you company while you drift off. Because you don't have to pay attention to me so it's a little bit different. I'm here to be your boyfriend. Your Bore Bay or bore SIP. Your Burkas your bore best ear Bora. Maybe you're bored by I. Don't know like does not compute but I'm here. Yeah I'm here to be your bedside and take your mind off of stuff so in then if you can't listen I mean if you can't sleep you don't need to listen. I think that was the other thing. But if you can't sleep I'm going to be here till the end so I'll be here for about an hour whether you're awake or asleep t to to to to to take your mind off stuff and keep you company. So that's it. Then the structure the show now show structure is also very different and it can throw people off especially if you come in expecting one thing like if you expect it like. They said well rollers like Those goddesses from that movie The bitty Bobby Boo goddesses in. I'd say Yeah I do. Actually I do remember them Right I mean they never got their own movie Now they didn't. They didn't get their own movie. Well they got a podcast now really in their guys are they got us his Zer- they just magic users. Let's good question. I don't know I'm pretty sure they could fly like they may have wings so and I think that makes them goddesses and not magic users because otherwise that's spell would eventually wear off okay but they could be a magic based being you know be magical being. Okay Well Demi could we. Could we just say their goddess? But that would also be generally mean Demi goddesses in in those kinds of magical beings. Sure we could agree on that. You're very agreeable. Will thanks so so. They started a podcast Really they started about guests. Those goddesses from the bitty by goddesses. Yeah it's called bitty by poof. Oh Wow in WH- how? How does it work? We'll have different ones For different things that people have going on with them. While it's interesting Wilson added. Well Yeah it is interesting to say. She not interesting because they use madge doesn't need to be interesting because it's magical okay. So why are you telling me this? We'll have WANNA put people sleep It's like a three three three two eight seconds long. Okay tell tell me more. Yes it's called the bitty Bapley pufus sleep show their work title pending they said. Oh okay well. That's that's good. That's good news for me. They titles Strange we'll know because it was a bitty. Okay no I mean okay. It just doesn't have the best. Seo here's the thing if you're magical you don't need us. Oh Yeah you're right about the Andrew so anyway so it's asleep. I guess it's like eight seconds long. I don't know I think it's like eight tech. They just say that you just started and they say Midi poof in while they're doing that Lake or human ears can't hear the magic or but we experienced magic puts you to sleep in. That's a whole podcast Yup It's a whole podcast does have one episode of multiple episodes right now. It's just a trail or they. They haven't put out the show yet. Okay and is it a while? That sounds like it's GonNa be it. Sounds like it's not gonNa be good for my my show. Why do you say that wolf instantly puts you to sleep? Why would people need sleep with me? We'll scoops underneath to tell you this because you just explained for ten minutes your shows here to keep people company while they drift off their shows there for people to be magically sent off into dreamland totally different show. That's why it's only eight seconds long. Okay Okay I guess I'm I guess I guess I'm with you so but I was trying to explain to you. The structure of the show is so show like then. It doesn't need a lot of structure our show structures different. So if you came in expecting bitty Bapley poof show again I could record that and put it out as a separate podcast. But that's a totally different thing. So this show. Structurally starts off with business We'll show search off with a greeting then business and then intro. And that's the businesses beginning is how able to keep the show. Free is then. There's an intro nowadays. So the business store. Some people will really rose new people off is the intro. Because it's around twelve to twenty minutes long of just me rambling about stuff like bitty bobby poof. In if I some people think it's like an advertisement I think and then some people they say we'll this isn't a time story or I'm not so sure. I enjoy listening to you which are all legitimate things. So let me tell you why. The INTRO soloing interest so long. Because unlike the bit by bit he poof show. This podcast is here to keep you company as you drift off and for regular listeners. The intros like part of their wind down routine. Now there's like two percent listeners. They start to show it about twenty minutes and they just listened to the whatever starts at twenty minutes and then the story to notably me trying to remember the plot of The princess bride in remember already did a podcast episode about it or Nad. Yeah so they started their but ninety eight percent of listeners. Will there's there's listeners? Supported trump h. m. potential different but so most listeners. The intro is part of their wind down or they're unwinding so they'll start listening bedtime you either before they get in bed or wild arraign bed in. I kind of like it because they just don't know anything that works as well as at poof show. I wish I had hair. That would go along with that in that a hair. Like I wish I had big Pooh hair. The head poof. On Apu font is at a kind of haircut is any. I guess you'd have you'd see what. Kinda haircut does your poodle have APU font fat for poodles but I mean I could see myself if I had hair who had had like a spoof. -able that would do that. Bitty by poof We're if I had a salon I guess if I had a poodle salon I would say that. Well it's working of course until the big company that has all the money they said will. Actually you can't say maybe your body With any other words without a license in the actually their competitor would say well you know in the name of Harry Potter. You can't say poof either. Nisei never heard Harry Potter say poof in my imagination in my imagination the only pro. I mean yeah so I guess to no one knew. Wait till you get those ladders in the mail. Usually they you know they always knack I and they can you sign here in ICU. No I'm just GONNA crumble this up and put it somewhere for two or three months in an wonder what was in that envelope Is this about my magical express reservation no okay so anyway now for humor so the so the intros are really long to give you a chance to get into bed get comfortable or get ready for bed and get comfortable to ease you into bed time. So that's the intro. In there some business structure vow podcasting works so to have some business that helps keep your show free. And then we'll have the story part of the show where I'll talk briefly about the new nightingale presents novel in trying to think of a friendly name for that The friendly faced woman who Who Plays Hide and seek in your home. That's that's what the novels not named but it isn't a name similar and And then I'll talk about the princess bride so it's a structure the show. I guess it kind of covered the rules reason to make this show. And then they're tossing and turning yes mind releasing. Oh boy that's my middle. It's one of my hobbies. They say they say because there was a movie about car racing that came out recently. They didn't call me like to have maybe an advisor on everybody if there's ever a movie about mind racing if those actually as saying like you say what about You know all those movies about kids in video games saving the world or you know car racing you know showing how great our you know. Our belief system is echoed. No-one glorifies mind racing. The this kid who was the greatest mind. His mind was racing before like Ricky Bobby. My mind was racing before I want to over think I want overseeing a quick way. That's quick and feels painfully slow. So aben there in waking up early Waking up not being have been there so I want to help I also WANNA help because I believe you truly deserve a good night's sleep or a place of respite right now where he could get away where you could drift off your world in our world is going to be a better place if you're well rested or at least you have a little relaxation and distraction. So I guess that's kind of everything daughters. GonNa talk about NUBS NIBS different time. And maybe one day. I'll put out that bitty Bobby Poof podcast justice just to just to see what those companies to. I think might do that. They would all be. Here's the spoiler. They would all be the same. It say well this is the what about exercise That would be the title. And then it would be bitty bobby poof analytics are always in there. It's just WanNa make like verbal Just Just did it naturally with in his State of podcasting. So that's it. I'm glad you're here. It really hope that show can help you like to give it. A few tries ends in C because that's how most listeners. If found in the show was helpful But I really appreciate you coming by work very hard. A urine in strive to help you fall asleep. And here's a couple of ways Rivoli. Keep this podcast to free for everybody. It's time to talk about the sponsor that's part of my am and my pm routine. And that's quip makers quip electric toothbrush and they watch it. A No. The one single discovery that matters most for your dental care it is simply this if you have good habits. You're good and that means brushing for two minutes twice a day floating regularly. It doesn't matter. What brand do use but quit? Makes it simple starting with an electric toothbrush? Refillable flaws in an anti cavity toothpaste. And you know I use quip electric toothbrush. It has a sensitive sonic vibrations in a built-in timer with a thirty second pulses to guide a full and even Kaleen. 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It's really good for when you need a break during the day or in the evening or in the morning my daughter and I both been playing it separately. And then kind of comparing. She's about forty levels ahead of me but it's one of those games you could spend as little or as much time in it as you'd like. I'm currently trying to break through level Eighty from 'em in the seventies out trying to get to love lady Quincy is still my favorite protagonists. Edward is grown ami very fast also gene But I love it. I love the bright colors. The Fun Characters I. It's just a really fun and relaxing game to play his just right amount of challenge. I need to take a break during the day. Because it's a unique and exciting puzzle. Experience unlike any other games out there and there's always something new best phoenix updates the game monthly with new levels in advance. So it never gets old. You're the truth. A game like a service for the players is so it is something you could really look forward to and I want here. What what level you're on do you like? Quincy? Is there a character? I don't know about that. You really love or that. You like playing with or that strategically useful. Do you have any best fiend? Tips please share with me online. Tag Me on Instagram or twitter. And if you have. I don't know what you're waiting for if you haven't played best Venus Download it now. Engage your brain with fun puzzles and collected tons of cute characters. Trust me with over a hundred million downloads. This five star rated mobile puzzle game is a must play download best fiends free on apple APP store or Google play and that's friends without Dr. It's best scenes in the LEMme nobody. Let's become best. Pheno bullets bullets fiend it. You know what I'm saying. Thanks everybody or everybody's so scoots here and I've been reading the New Night Vale. Presents novel The friendly faced woman who plays hide and seek in your home By Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Craner. Now it's it's comes out under a different title day you'll see a link to it in the show notes and oboe. Have I been enjoying this novel? It's just taking me in so many unexpected directions. Because you say well this is what I expect a welcome to Night Vale novel to be this gives you this this. This delivers on your expectations but takes a totally different direction. At the same time in it is really really really fun in just wanted to read you a little bit about it. But I'm about two hundred and fifteen pages into the novel I cannot wait to finish it. probably so he can read it again. It came out March. Twenty four in its written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Craner Authors of the New York Times bestselling welcome to Night Vale novels Welcome to Night Vale. Came on two thousand fifteen and it devours came out in two thousand seventeen They're also creators of the hit. Podcast welcome to Night Vale. End this new novel is the Friendly faced woman. Who as I seek in your home? It's a harper perennial. Hardcover is twenty one ninety nine and it takes readers deeper into lore of Night Vale. Talks about one of the most interesting residents of the town and you get to live her whole back story. Holy Moly that sat in the writing. But Wow this. Original Venture Tale follows a compelling in Slightly unexpected story of the friendly face woman place hide and seek in your home every home in Night Vale and all possible adventures. She could take you on in the motivations behind adventures. Not all of which are always pure at heart. It's got a little Bit Accounting Monte Cristo. It's like a novel. Sit that I cannot mention here in has for me a little taste of the princess bride. It's told in flashbacks throughout her life through Eighteenth Century. Europe already conquered by. Napoleon goes to Mediterranean estate nautical adventure. And I'm not even sure of like I'm like only halfway through this book so I cannot wait to see what happens next a feel like a kid and If you like it should be seeing this like Like Reading Rainbow Friendly face woman who lives? Do you like adventure. Stories nautical tales do like heroines Leading a crew of misfits Then you're gonNA love the friendly faced woman who lives in your home in place hide and seek with you. This is a little Andy Telling you to check it out but so that's a friendly face woman It also goes back to Present Day Night Vale and her playing hide and seek in. Someone's home in there so much humorous ad in her body Craig and we love Craig. Despite guess we love that name So check it out by the time you're here in this. It should already be available. I will put Lincoln in the show notes. There's also the audio book Which is narrated by actress and author Mara Wilson? Who plays the character unwelcomed and I fail he and use the link because the title is actually a little bit different than that But you'll be able to figure it out In reading this book Made me think Have I ever talked about The what's the name of that movie that I was going to talk about tonight She called the Princess Bride before Nice episode about her fray just talked about it and I said I don't know it was still blitzen. Do it So here we go. Scoots GONNA talk here. Tell the tape about the princess bride so the movie the Princess Bride. Let's so some still like I still trying to think if we're done episode about Sin If you're new in this might be my second time explaining it but like a this is like a tale of the tape episode. So it's all right take it tale of the tape. Well it tells. The tape is like I try to remember a run. The tape of the movie in my mind and see what how like Seen this movie probably thirty times and how much how much of the plot do I even remember? And then on top of it is the fact that Ed Artemis excuse. I think you did this as an episode but I don't think I did then part of me so I don't think we did. I don't remember a releasing in so this could be a moment where we We kissed the old would winded scoots. When did sleep with me kiss the Dolphin as they say when they talk about? Tv shows and fancy after their famous perfect strangers episode. Where Fonz he came on and kissed a Dolphin Iseo. That's when sleeping me. Kiss the Dolphin when scoots did a second to like a button and actually the funny thing was Only six people noticed but in school was one of them. Because he's still like I don't think he did do an episode about it so the princess bride. Here's the thing if read the book Don't like like an IM- probably read the Book Somewhere Between Twenty. Twenty over twenty twenty ten and twenty fifteen but I don't know when I read it in his reading it bit by bit to. My daughter is a bedtime story and his exit again inspired to do this episode by the New Night. Val Book in so so. Let's see okay. So who's going to set up because now everybody's familiar with this right. Am I am pretty sure? The book is written by William Goldman ended. But I'm not sure if the book was written I'm not sure I was like was it a screenplay and then a novelization of the screenplay or was it a William Goldman novel that was made into a screenplay that was made into a movie. So we don't know those question the answer to that question. I do know a sink. Do Not that I think the Rob Reiner made the movie. But I'm not one hundred percent sure nats but I would be willing to wager. Well it would be able to wager that it could be wrong because like seventy percent wrong but I want to say is rob. Reiner movie but would but I'm not sure so okay. So the princess bride is the name of the movie came out in the nineteen eighties. Or maybe the nineties again. If you said scoots you get. GimMe a number. Let's see okay somewhere between nineteen eighty nine in one thousand nine hundred ninety two and then you would say okay. Scoots said the mood. When did you first see it? Did you see it in theater? Who Say I did not see it in. The theater is a matter of fact. I honestly don't even remember like being in the movie theater in. Oh boy did I miss out on an opportunity? I'll be perfectly frank with you very disappointed in my past self One for not seeing it in a movie theater in to not being aware of it. I like it wasn't even aware of it where I said well. I don't think I'm GONNA see that. So there's a couple of things that that brings up that are interesting to me in good firstly. Pakis associated today. Why wasn't aware of? It was at the marketing budget for the movie. Or was it like the actual marketing. So was if it was a marketing budget was it just now marketed enough. Because well. We're going to win. I I saw it in. So that's one question is so they say well it's weird that it like. I don't I'm not aware of seeing any marketing for so. Is it marketing? More focused on all the characters whose names have never going to remember buttercup and Wesleyan more romance or did it seem like as we more more marketed as a children's movie Or like all-star like vehicle like what do they call those? When there's like a bunch of Cam -LICA- Cameo movie? I mean I was in full angst those those are my most angsty years so I may like it but I can't even Ima- like you can't remember usually have remember myself being disdainful things mailing. Oh boy no I'm at I've Teen Angst. I can't see a movie called the princess bride and we even know what that means. The princess bride shows a movie. It's it's an action adventure romance if if you had to say skin me one genre. I'd say Action Adventure Romance but you say one word would be the genre of the film and Wha- Stehlin to win today I see so I saw it around not that long after he came out so but I guess like they used to delay stuff lake a long time it used to be a movie would come out then. I would go into the second run theaters which We had a good one by us that we used to go to a lot so again. I would assume that could be interesting as me will hold on. I get a positive record or here okay. Surge just wrote look up. The second run movie theater by liked was was by my house. Too Far Walk will now as an adult. I probably would walk there. I mean I probably wouldn't but it would. I guess it was too far to walk. was near one of my friend. Charlie's house is walking distance from his house Which so genesee theatre. I'm pretty sure it was but it was in west to it was in West Vail but it was called the genesee theatre on West genesee street to so and it was also by. Wow that's a well we'll have to get back to Westfield Plaza and another point because a lot of like a weird was a plaza so like a shopping center plaza drive in in. It had not just one. But four important touchstones of my youth. That's interesting too so I guess we'll have to get back to that to Show back to So back to the Princess Bride Cincy in the second run theater and then So I saw it at someone's house and I think it was the lake during it was during the day so I'm pretty sure I don't think we were not at school when we were supposed to be but maybe it was like a half. I'm pretty sure it was like a half day of school as it could have been when you're younger And you just go to somebody's house and you watch you have a movie night Before you're like when you're a teenager but you're not like a Lake Lake. Your angsty teenager but you haven't Moved onto angsty teenager activities. Which is for me. Scoffing and being disdained full and have bad attitude does so but So we watch how so bank then show movie with coming out in the theater. It would go to a second run theater then. It wouldn't come out for public video. They called Decode home-video Bank and in this was the days of blockbuster when people say things don't change say okay. Well they do because I remember when he had to go to blockbuster to get a movie like a year after it came out. Maybe it'd be six months but it would be like so long between the movies in the theater and it came out on video that you kind of forgot about it and so I remember being at somebody's house and this was this was good move. Whoever DID Probably one of my friends. It was either. Debbie Lee Scher Megan. I'm guessing one of the three of them and they had already picked to the movie out so wasn't not a wasn't like Elvis said to agree on a movie. Looks Watch the princess bride in this one. I do remember scoffing. Or kind. Of what the Princess Bride. And then I had been more aware of it but this was one of those movies where he wants. It started my mouth. I got really quiet and that was into this film when I woke one hundred. Maybe like the first few minutes it took me a little while But after that it was totally into it so we started watching the movie so now move into movie because this is like my archetypal memory of film. Anyway and speaking of Scoffing. Holy cow make any. Remember any of these folk fred savage and Colombo whose name is a p p Peter Peter something. It'll come to me. Peter Falk show. The movie starts out with Fred Savage Fred. Savage's mother may be in it or or like a character playing Fred. Savage's mother or her voice may be in it and but Fred Savage's conference go on like a snow day or something and He's bored and Peter. Falk is playing his grandfather his loving grandfather and he uses a little subtle psychology and Fred savage because they think fred savage might have been playing video games or whatever and they said. Listen kid you got to do something more productive for your brain and Peter. Fox's what about a little theater of the mind and Fred Savage's is theater of the lame and He think this Perea wonder years but maybe not the TV show or I don't know if he was already on TV show. I have no idea so I shouldn't have said that because I don't have any clue but I think so because he was just a boy in this movie Samir. This movie came out in the eighties and not the nineties. I think wonder years was in the nineties in Fred. Savage was in high school in the eighties but in the nineteen fifties confused. It was a confusing time for all of us. Believe me But so so fred. Savage was a kid. I don't know his name kid who just as the kid. Maybe the kid in the bed on a snow day Coosa grandfatherly figure also narrator so he says so fred savage says man. That's lame theater of the mind that will never be saying in beautiful said well once upon a time it was radio in storytelling anti submitted. Just got this awesome book here Lake and Fritz Services. Is anyone kissed one another in the book and he says possibly and then he says. Nafir me Roy believe in romance either GRANDPA and a grandfather laughs and says okay. We'll Well I guess I'll go on my way just a book about you know adventure and swashbuckling buckling. Soi Shoes you know Cool stuff You know people unforgettable characters other lake also a lot of actors. You wouldn't believe like Christopher Gassed Mandy Patinkin just to name to the lake like blow your mind. Andy Fred. Savage SAYS. Wait a second. Did you say guest? And he said that's just for starters in these planning those seeds in my mind who L. Pitcher and the grandfather says not yet my my my young lad but he said anyway. You're not interested in kissing and romance is so I'll just beyond my way and then Fred savage is. Oh No GRANDPA. GimMe a second note. We all know. I guess maybe you could tell I. Don't know if you could read a book to a kid in two hour so I don't know if that's possible but I have a feeling especially if as reading it you'd only get your one chapter unum two chapters in two hours. That's why I can't like do audio books because books like eight thousand hours long and that's who appeal for a lot of people. Would I say it can barely pay attention? Longest can pay attention is when I'm putting making sleep. Yes and try to remember something I can't even remember is so Peter Falk The grandfather said okay like settled down. Get in bed. I'll read you the story and then from Sudan we go we transfer in we will take interludes with the two of them they think probably only like at the. Act Breaks Sir Annan office. The exact act breaks have. No idea is just guessing. They're probably trying to impress. You is using act break immature parts of story also like Fred. Savage's representing some portion of the audience. In saying how. Well this is my concern with this part of the story. So okay so all those things it showed movie starts with Buttercup a Ian buttercup his Susan live movie about the class system. In roles we play as human beings. I think Which show buttercup is? Is a guests in the movie. She some sort of upper-middle-class but NAT She's probably didn't even know landed. Gentry means but I think it means you own a homeowner with Land Anna No. She's necessarily royal but she. She has some attitude. Well well earned attitude and like She's had strong. I don't know some people say that in a bad way but I would say about. The buttercup is headstrong in a good way. Hopefully that's characters she played by Robin writes in. Sushi lives on a farm with her. I presume or family. I don't think we ever see her family. And there's a farmworker named Wesley Farm boy she calls him now. This is this next. Part of the movie is been the jumping off point for multiple films and blaze novels and stuff so the dictionary minutes you get into like to possible territory because she always says She she likes to boss him around and she says farm boy you know. We've fetch me that water in he always says as you wish and I think this is still here. Peter Franc's fall Peter Fox grandfather's voice setting this up Eventually he's in love with. She's in love with him now When we learned his name Maybe Peter. Falk tells us his name's Westley but she calls him farm boy and they slowly fall in love luggage point he says as you wish you know their hands touch or by like a wishing well to kiss Or maybe they almost kiss and is so they they? They almost almost kissed. Because Fred Savage's only kissing but showed they're doing great the romance is just blossoming now. Meanwhile and I don't know if they go through like they're going through town but the prince prince going through town Other Princes Nad. It was getting mixed up who Christopher guest as whether it's separate the princess like Lah He believes the princess a lackey. I believe yes. Oh yeah the principally by Pretty sure the princess played by this actor with Gravitas who great gravitas. I can't think of who it is But maybe it'll come to me but so French Somber. Dank is like He's handsome he's silica royal like actual royal t and has a sad cake Whose name I can't who's played by Christopher guest And like I don't know he decides driving through and he sees buttercup or meet Certa fast of all or there's some sort of whatever I don't know how he meets buttercup but he decides Oh boy Megan to marry buttercup. She's going to be queen like he's going to be king at some point at this point his father is still King Queen Silver around two. Or maybe only the Queen's around I don't know but no I think the king and the Queen so I don't really remember I mean I guess I'm just I'm trying to remember but so west salute. They say okay. You're marrying you buttercup. You're going to marry Prince Opera. Thank you and I don't know if this before this or after it but I think it was before like a wake while Wesley and buttercup or flirting she says well. You gotta like Like she goes we live in this whatever patriarchal society and it's not fair to anybody class also class system and you gotta have a diary or something or some sort of status in order for me to be released from from one paycheck to another. And he's like he's played by Keri us. I think that's how you say it. Lake Who have talked about before because Where was he was recently on the show? Okay so but so Wesley says okay. Well I'M GONNA go out in search of adventure and treasure would ever and I'll be back to to to like I think that's what happens. Like he goes away. I two so then. Prince meets buttercup and this is like the least important part of the movie but We'll I guess not really so renshaw brink meets buttercup and says by the way really like you a sink. We make a good couple of high status. Lucan for Queen. You're very regal very headstrong. A good way. What do you think she was? Sworn to another more in love with Wesley. You seem like decent enough chap But Shari am not into it really and Vienna. Some always GonNa love him you like. It'd just waiting for him to return from adventure you know to to deal with the system we have and eventually he him and his His Christopher guests come up with an idea of like They say the count. I think his name is. I can't remember not count Chocula in account With the numbers though there is an important number in with him which they say well actually by the way Wesley he Y when he went away and adventure and while he was adventuring we heard that his ship and I guess this is factual I always thought it was made up but actually I think it's factual so. Maybe she already found out about this but they said by the way. His ship was captured by A Guy Dread Pirate Roberts Lady which beard a little bit different and dread pirate Roberts You know he like he was leased snacking to come back. He has zone system and it wouldn't have worked out well for Wesley. So she's kind of heartbroken. I guess and says eventually get married to you. I guess Humperdinck Eh. Give me some time. Let's just have long. I don't know if they get married. They don't think they do. She says when you'RE GONNA be king guests on Mary you maybe I'll think about it. Suddenly and he says okay fair enough and then it gets old like king and the Queen or older it becomes time I think it becomes Stanford for her to get married and You get like A. She's like our Woche do think she goes out for. She's out riding her horse to clear mind. That's what it is like. A whatever she she goes she says I gotta go Hannah. Lak- like what do they call those like Like Solo Moon like It like it is just too. I know she's she goes out to take her horse out. They go out on the town and wilder out there She meets up with frigging Wallace. Shawn Mandy Patinkin and Andre. The giant and. I don't know what's her. Character's names are well indigo and Indigo Montoya. But I don't think there's a deer in go Montoya and then Fezzet and oh I thought he had like a nickname But I mean you saw those three together. Holy Moly so date. They like to say. Hey you're gonNA come with US like we're going to take you on a fun trip And eventually like the king gives gold it. They say we got this idea. It's called the double dowry and she says what do you mean a double dowry and they say well you know with this system. They said well. We're not in the class system. Either routes added a class system were on the margins of Ed in. Shall we figured out a way like king and the Queen or to get in the whatever Humperdinck could pay your family I assume a dowry or you know your your status to elevated And if we just hang with you for a while then your lake. We'll get a dowry from Humperdinck. Too and she says it will. I'd prefer because I really know any of you. They will but she finds out that. Like a while Sean characters. Not exactly the best but Other two are very lake. Lake Andre the physique in Inigo Montoya or Great. So she says okay now. Meanwhile they hop in a boat To hit the road right and This is really set up because he's kind of like If I can seem like a little bit antagonistic these characters but the very likable I think just because of performances in writing and directing and everything else but so is there a boat right. What is his name while Shawn's characters name? I thought he was called the something because he goes. You don't get in a land war cecile. Maybe it's called Sicilian now. But so they're in a boat and do their sneaking off until they get their double dowry because they say it will apprentice you know they got a bunch of horses in and stuff like that is then they notice a Boetsch following them and they say okay. Let's go faster. This is the fastest boat around. And they say we'll dip oats still keeping up with us and they say okay. Well it's not like a while Sean. Suzuka will we're going to go to these cliffs. That are unscaled. Lable except for Andrea giant didn't have Andrea Jank crime. This cliff with all three of them because he's so strong now. Andrea giant was a beloved wrestler and actor in the eighties It'd be like even though he also played like antagonistic characters He was always beloved is usable of Dan Beloved so he climbs Clifton they look down and they see this mysterious character all in black Very pirate ask Following him in inconceivable that's Wallace Shawn's character says all the time inconceivable over and over again and there's a lot of humor they get up the top of the cliff and they say it's impossible or inconceivable for anyone to be able to scale the the Guy Spider due to still still come in and then he says okay. Inigo deal with it. We're out of here. And he says okay. Then we get weak- this performance in this scene is just so lake. Every scene is just so good but these are some of the highlights of the movie. So he's up there Inigo Montoya. A man of honor Spanish swordsman. I believe a greatest source person in the world and he says hey. Wait and up here for you By the way I think they try to like trip trip. Them UP There's a lot of Lake report and humor. And then this character gets up there and they greet each other he says. Don't worry have a break. I'm the best swordsman in the world and I don't know if this at this point. We realize that it's Wesley. But I'll just tell you it is a but he's dressed all like a in like black. Silk Lakers Lakers Lakers sexy pirate Ninja. I don't know how to put a truce. And he says they say okay and then he says we'll sword for after you have some water and stuff that's what Inigo Montoya says And then he says why. Don't I tell you? Why don't we START SWORD FIGHTING? I'll tell you? My whole bag. Story Sudan he reveals his backstory. How he came to great a swordsman and he's only working this job not because he's interested in a double dowry because he's in a quest to find this six fingered. May and who He's like very similar to characters in my story to get Basil's ceases I'd like to teach. He owes me five dollars and You know I'll never rest. He actually old my father five dollars and Have a speech and everything. Because you know it goes you know my name is Inigo Montoya. You will my father five dollars Prepare to pay up because you like with interest by the way which is why. Because it's been like thirty years so then They say then. There's a bunch of fun stuff like Where we realize it. Actually Wesley. Also like unbelievable swordsman and so they have this grand sword fight and Lakers straight out of like a movie from any era very fine but Wesley does end up getting upper hand but he's still shows like Easterly winds Like Inigo to have success the so then. Wesley Takes Off Then he runs across Andre the giant. Who actually is giants and they say. Okay like He says Okay well we have to do some like like. Wwf and Wesley. Says I don't know what that is. She says World Wrestling Federation he goes. It's like He goes you never heard of Lake Summer Slam or sweaty nights or Hot Summer Evenings Wesley goes no he goes Goes Wrestlemainia no? It goes to show. You shouldn't really outmatched because I'm a I'm a giant also had a career in this Before this so then but Wesley is just too smart. He outsmarts Andrew giant again. You see the. He has a great kind heart. He didn't really want to do it. They're both kind of In the grip of While Sean I mean who would boy wouldn't blame him but then he tricks him next thing you know they go around he goes around the corner and like a while. Sean sitting there was like a picnic. Set up End buttercup. I think Buttercup sleeping or something new she. She can't see that it's a Wesley or maybe she can Then there's also jump back who because We see that the print pinch dumper. Dank in Christopher guest of caught up the count in their tracking them And they see they could. Do you realize that? He's Prince Humperdinck Ker. Christopher guest is an expert tracker because they say Oh look at this sword fight it was here and then Louis this giant and Who's outsmarted but then we get to While Sean he says okay well you know you giant giant you Outta Lake fenced my fencer. Show him out intellectual. So I'm an out intellectual you and this one is probably been used before but I had never seen used before so the payoff is just so good. Where while Sean says a proposed this game of intellect and I'm like It's called the suit. This is water sippy game or something and they said well. Jeez we'd never played that game before. But meanwhile Wesley Is Blade. So West is still one step ahead of him. I Yo- cain powder in so he ends up besting Wallace Shawn in a GIG battle. Which I mean. That's what they actually have. I think that's a while Sean even says it's words account And then Jurassic what happens next. I think what happens next? At some point they teamed back up but I don't think it's yet I think would has Wesley tries to say. Hey buttercup let's go. But he's still dressed as a dread by Roberts in She runs off. They roll down this hill together. In is a rolling down the hill separately. He says as you wish. Didn't they get down into Like a SM- smelly swamp and they're together and they say thank goodness together here in the smelly swamp a that's great and then they have to wander their way through the smelly swamp and they do ans- eventually but then on the other side of smelly swamp is the prince suffered inc and his crew. And you get okay. So he's trying to remember because remember. When does he team back up with the rest of his people? And I'm not sure about that But so Prince. Buttercup says Oh. Gee Slake I love Wesley. Don't worry if you like if you like you like out solely Mary you because I love Wesley. Just leave him alone. And then I'll go marry you humperdinck. That Canas saying immature. How they leave it but then We get Carol Kane. No no not yet. No no no not yet. You're right you're right So at some point the Humperdinck and the count half the county has another side kick In maybe maybe what was that? The also the prince captured Inigo in What's his name? Andre THE GIANT CHARACTER. It was like Kinsey in name of physics but so like they. Drain out all of Wesley Energy I think just because Christopher guest characters has Christopher guest's character has kind of an attitude and so then Wesley's exhaustedly super exhausted and I'm trying to think he at some point he says we gotTa Stop to wedding like like Inigo in Under the giant. Or like we love you man. You spared us You freed us from working for a while Sean. Even we'd love while Sean 's character we didn't like so much and we really appreciate all the head and he says nope wait. Wesley says will I'm exhausted. What are we gonNA do or maybe Wesley Stephen Sleeping? Somehow they come across Wesley or they get re teamed up. I don't really remember that part. But they go to see Miracle Max uh who dislikes the king gray in miracle. Max is played by Billy. Crystal and my Milly Max Split by Carol Kane so you can't really go wrong with that so they miracle Max gives him like of like magical chocolate i. I'm pretty sure that's what happens. And he says you need true. Love's kiss to get back to one hundred percent and then and this is one of the points where they go back to reg savage and GRANDPA and he says Oh true. Love's kiss is gross. And he says is this story over in like it was a ticking clock is a wedding day. So and then Wesley's not one hundred percent is so then they say well. We still have stopped wedding. You do to help they say for sure man. We'd love you So then they go to the castle and they've got to figure out a way to get in because there's like tons of There's tons of stuff Oh and they got magic stuff. I don't know if Miracle Max gave it to them but they get a colo and a few other things and the US those sit in like do the school thing with Andre the giant and sound effects In to get into the Castle Nassar Woodhams after that other than that they split up and then like They split up. I'm not sure we're Andre. The giant goes eventually. He has to help everybody but then we get like a couple climaxes so Inigo Montoya has to go like finds out that the six fingered man is. Christopher gassed The count so they have a showdown and it's pretty who like actually long action scene and law double crosses and Couple of Lake Lake account or whatever removes So there's that then they think ends up at the Prince thinks like a coward so Wesley goes against him but he's a coward or maybe it's I don't remember but so eventually Wesley gets back to buttercup a break up to wedding Like there's multiple dance off say like The King and Queen. They never liked their kid. Anyway I don't think or the Queen one of them is like. Oh we want a buttercup to be happy anyway. I missing something in there to get there. Then they get caught in the lake after deal to count then they go to Mir Miracle Max is then go to the CA- have fun storming the castle yet. It's a Mac says to them so just not sure between the stinky swamp and Miracle Max is how they end up with Lake back maybe. They just found Wesley. That seems like pretty synchronous synchronous but it is a magical story But then was see. What else happens so then. I don't know I think everything worked out with the so indigo gets the six fingered guy that money in the end with interested. Total interest Andre the giant meets buttercup and says hello. You know you're pretty cool. We heard about you. We sorry about other stuff With while Sean. And she says well as in gromit and he goes now but like It gets to say that and Wesley rotation she realizes Oh she'd already realized it was Wesley so then they get to go into a courtyard and kiss. I like. That's the last thing and then Fred. Savage learns to love when people kiss because they Grandpa says. Stop it here. And he says why and he says we'll true. Love's kiss is the only thing left to go any says it's okay. I'd love to hear about true. Love's kiss And I think that's what reenergize Wesley. Maybe he was still had no energy until true of kiss There's some magical power and then Fred savage in his grandpa either basically can't ever peaking in and then make an out like story. Wise in story comes to a conclusion all in all pretty great story In so again if you really enjoyed that movie or the idea that style movie this is. The this book is is a bit different. But the link of being Michaud notes for the latest A welcome tonight. Val Novel The friendly Older woman who plays out and seek in your house In a really really think like if you enjoyed this movie or this book you Really Gonna. Enjoy this book This novel and is totally different. Take on but it's definitely It has the action has adventure in. It has a lot more than I in like So I'm only on page like a lot of like almost two page two hundred in really really enjoying it and I think you will too so strongly suggested. Check it out good night undertaker but it became a patron recently. Astill and Kimberly in Taylor thank you. Thanks thanks to Unite Rick. Nancy and Christopher. Thank you thanks. Thanks thanks and good Night Steve. Tag Girl and all thank you. Thanks thanks thanks good night. Sarah M in KS. Thank you thanks. Thanks thanks Night Jessica Elizabeth and Carla. Thank you. Thanks thanks thanks. Shantelle DONNA IN DOT. Thank you thanks. Thanks thanks and good night Sean Stacy and Linda the sanction night Danielle to Theresa in Nicole. Dank you thanks thanks. Thanks tonight Laura Lisa and cool air. They getting sing-sing Night Taylor. Rachel and Jason thanks. Thanks thanks young Rachel and Fletcher. Thanks thanks thanks. Thanks thanks tonight. Christopher SHANTELLE MTA the P. Thank you thanks exciting. I and Kerry and thank you. Thanks thanks thanks and good night. Thanks everybody for support show. Souvenirs exists a free pack. Discus people at sported directly sponsors Merch and patriots. On a Biko Spurs. Show for free by just spreading the word. That's another huge way to help other people help the podcast And feel good about it. So thank you for that and speak in letting you know about something. Here's a podcast. I want to let you know about. Thanks and good night.

Fred Savage Wesley Farm Indigo Montoya Debbie Lee Scher Megan Ian buttercup Night Vale twitter Peter Falk Andy Fred Mara Wilson Kate Nibs Wallace Shawn Andrew giant Ed Artemis Dr. It Sudan Mandy Patinkin Shoo Shoo Sanford Sean
Announcement: CONDOS Livestream on July 9

Welcome to Night Vale

02:25 min | 2 months ago

Announcement: CONDOS Livestream on July 9

"Hey Jeffrey Craner here so back in two thousand thirteen. We wrote our very first welcome to Night Vale. Live show called CONDOS, and we haven't performed at sense, but seven years later here we are sheltering safely at home. Wanting to do live shows with you are delightful listeners, so we're bringing you a live streaming performance of condos right to your computerized device. You Can Watch C. so Baldwin Symphony Sanders Mara. Wilson Dylan Meier Meg Bash Winter and disparition perform this classic show just for you watch from your couch or your desk, or in your attic or your dungeon, or from the deck of whatever spaceship just abducted you. The show is at eight. Eight PM Eastern on Thursday July ninth. You can get tickets at welcome tonight. Bill Dot, com, their pay what you can starting at five dollars if you can't make it, keep following us on facebook and at Night Ville Radio on twitter for more announcements, hopefully future live streams, quick story by the Way in Autumn of twenty thirteen Joseph. Fink Meg and see so were in San Francisco, helping to launch the San Francisco Neo futurist theatre company, and they had the idea since we're all together in the same town for several days. What if we found a venue and put up a live show? Joseph wrote the first draft of the script in two. Two days and put the call out on twitter for a venue booksmith bookstore in Haight Ashbury, raised their hand, and we did to back to back sold out shows in one night there. Meanwhile, I was back in New York City working my day job with no remaining vacation days to us so I could not go, but imagine my shock when I saw the photos of our actual fans packed tight into the booksmith adoring eyes fixed on, I knew we had a big listenership, but seeing the pictures of all of you, and hearing, Joseph and Meg stories about this magnificent event was such an overwhelming feeling, one of my fondest memories of my life. Life isn't event. I didn't even get to experience in person I. can't even imagine how great it was for those of you who are actually there needless to say I'm very excited to bring condos back to life while we can't watch together in the same room, we can still relive the touching stories of seesaw and Carlos here the faceless old woman from just over our shoulders, and we've even added a new part for two Meka Flynn I hope you will join us for our condos livestream next Thursday July ninth at eight PM Eastern. Pay What you can tickets starting at five dollars. Welcome to Night Vale Dot Com and hey, thanks for everything.

Night Vale Dot Com Night Vale Joseph twitter San Francisco Baldwin Symphony Sanders Mara Wilson Dylan Meier Night Ville Radio Jeffrey Craner Bill Dot Meka Flynn Haight Ashbury facebook Meg New York City Carlos disparition five dollars seven years Two days
150 - The Birthday of Lee Marvin

Welcome to Night Vale

26:21 min | 1 year ago

150 - The Birthday of Lee Marvin

"It's summer and that means two things going to the beach in going on tour. Let's start with the beach. We have four brand new beach towels in our store today, featuring new designs from Jessica Hayworth, Ian Burke, rob Wilson. And of course, a towel with the Knight fail logo on it now, every member of the family can have their own knife, L beach, Dow, and all the designs will be different assuming your family has exactly four in it. These towels are delightful, and honestly, you may end up just hanging them up on your wall. I won't tell check them out at welcomes Knight dot com and click on store next up, our tour. We're heading back out on the road in less than a month with shows in Birmingham Chattanooga Nashville Cincinnati and Cleveland, these will be some of our last performances of a spy in the desert has surprising thrilling story about secrets the show actually has a secret in it. You may or may not ever get to know it. That's the. Nature of secrets plus dream boy, a podcast set in Cleveland is going to be our opening act. So you don't wanna miss that homecoming. Get your tickets at welcome tonight found up com slash live as usual were taking July off. But we'll be back with another year of knife L on August. I see then, and hey, wear sunscreen, he Jeffrey Craner here. I want you to feel and be creative. So I'll tell you about a cool creative thing for may eighteenth to June twenty-ninth, join the story makers festival at the new apple Carnegie library, forty inspiring creators, from DC will be leading free creative sessions, you'll learn hands on how to shape your story through photography video music arts, and design visit apple dot CO slash story makers festival to reserve your spot. That's apple dot CO slash story makers festival, highest squishy, humans, Deb. Added again as usual talking till your mortal forms pass away. Welcome once again, this son has risen. Goodwin son? We're all very impressed by the same trick for the millionth day in a row. I'm Dana cardinal, welcome to loves. Loves a nice home for your well to welcome. Welcome everyone. Oh. Oh man. I'm supposed to prepare some sort of start to this thing. Dan, you for every time every time? Come on. Steve, you have a responsibility here Steve. You're better than this, Steve. Sorry, got sorry. Welcome tonight. Listeners it is a very special day today. That's right. It's Carlos and is sixth anniversary. Yes. We count that first night at the arby's, looking up at those lights as the start, and why not something has to be the start and that felt like the first moment of it the rest of our lives. It's especially emotional this anniversary because recently, we did not exist for a brief period, then we both did exist again, but I had forgotten about our entire life together. I've cents remembered, and it has been especially tender between us such things happen in any marriage, that has gone on for enough years. And so it served us as a good reminder of who we are in each other's lives. But it's not just a special day for us. Oh, no. It's also. Oh, wow. The thirtieth birthday of legend of stage and screen, Mr Lee Marvin. Let's take a listen to a special message from the birthday man himself. Hello. It is my birthday again. Well, happy birthday to me happy birthday to all of us. It's all of our birthdays this year. Congratulations us. But it's only for so much longer. Tired floating on time, like a lazy river, gone stale. It's time for me to reach out to seize. Alter. I'm so tired. Sleep, Anita cannon. I can't sleep. But also, I wish that I could. Both the wish and the ability exist within me. This will be the last day that I turned. I have been climbing narrow rock chimney. But today I let go and fall into deep clear waters. Thanks for all the birthday wishes. It really. It really has mental. Okay. Kind of a bummer of a birthday message with let's move on. And now the financial news and now the financial news or whatever looks like Saks are up, which is great for people who own stocks, who are statistically already wealthy enough that stocks being up or down doesn't fundamentally affect their lives. And those of us without stocks. Well, then the health of the stock market has little relationship to Tony. I see that you are reading the financial news. Yes. I'm looking at you right now. No not behind your shoulder. I see you glancing back. No. Not out the window either. Tony look up. Look up. Tony the great work began mel's e I'm VP of counting the last Bank of night, Vale I can count very high. So I'm uniquely situated to explain these figures to you, so, okay. You see what the graph is going down. That means that the price is. Lower. Or maybe the stock is or it's all going up. Hold on, then looking at this sideways. Oh, this isn't a graph at all. It's a picture of Lee Marvin. Why do bad things happen to good people? Ron question. The question is, why do things happen. I have seventeen dollars in my Bank account. And my teenage father is living with me, so things are going great here. Eight percent the highest percentage in the last three years, and this has been financial news. Meanwhile, a last-minute birthday party for Mr Lee Marvin has been arranged at gino's Italian dining experience and bar and grill at five pm where we will also break the first three decades of Mr. Marvin's life by taking advantage of some great happy, hour deals, gino's, happy hours art super appetizing. The most popular item is a small bowl filled with polished pebbles, but they are damned cheap. And that is appreciated in these tough times when all of us are finding ourselves short on our bills, except the estate of the late, Marcus fenced-in, which now contains approximately fifteen percent of all. Money in the United States, but still has no designated beneficiary. This Marvin himself is not expected to attend his own party as he not feeling. Well, and also says that he has a plan to remove himself from this tired wheel of time. Well, feel better Lee and good luck on that. Hobby of yours. Sounds complicated. Can't exhausting. I'll have a chiron's and a bowl of pebbles in honor of you. Knightdale. We are town of good intentions. Once there was a God. Her name was on Takhar. And she tried to save one little town. She acted with love the missiles came. And she reached out to shift the time line only a tad only enough to save us. And in that moment, her little town, shattered into millions of parallel towns, this place became a prison. God's love is a dangerous force. Once there was a woman who was a general. She wanted victory for a just cause. So she fought every battle over and over until time was jumbled up and overlapping and worn thin. She returned home and she died, but the wreckage she made of time. Renamed. And once there was man, an actor once but not much longer. Here, time and space have been scratched and scrunched worn down until they're translucent. I've reached out. And what if I pushed that? To the thin place. Happy birthday to me. Duty. We'll Vokes there's the hour, and it's time to you've door, usual checks, and such. Check in on it on the, you know, the. What's the word and standing on your roof friend off? Yes, randolph. That's my pacing. You hear back and forth on these cheap clay tiles that needed replacing three years ago. There will be rain Randolph someday. And then there will be leaks. That's a certainty. Don't believe me. Let's take a look at. That's that for all that listeners. I'm getting tired. Just reporting on all this life. Can't imagine how tired all of you are from living. So let's all take a break together, and go to the forty three twelve. Nine fifty five thirty seventeen. The weather. To the weather. Because I am a champ in and you're gonna hear me. Another. You already you would. All the days weeks on folding is we buttoned up our coats. Snow. Phases. Senior. Explain. She. There are many night, Vale's. This isn't news. It's merely the fact of it. There's a night, Vale where the streets are rivers and the rain falls constantly from sun. The skies there's a night Vale where the mayor is a smiling, man and a night, Vale where the mayor is a brave woman. And of course, there is a night veil that has no mayor never will have one again. There's a Knight fail without a day. And there's a night fail without night. There's a night Vale where the dogs sing and the birds bark, there's a night Vale with no people only the angels, moaning and tapping their fingers. There's a night, Vale where I was never born, and there's a night, Vale. Flare will never die. There's a faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home. She's in every night, veiled areas. There's a night, Vale where time runs backwards and a night, Vale where time skips about, and there's a night, Vale where time doesn't work at all. That's this knightdale. Times weird. Time is weird everywhere. But it's a specially weird here. There's a night Vale where Dana is the voice of her town and night. Vale where Deb, the cinci patch of Hayes is the voice of her town and night, Vale where you are the voice of your town. An infinitude avoi- ses of an infinitude of night fails. But here and this night. Our voice is seasonal. Voice like distant traffic, avoi- Slyke strong coffee at midnight. Once there was a God with good intentions. Heartful of love. She shattered us into many versions of us. Once a general full of courage and victory. She twisted our time about itself lost us in a labyrinth of hours and years. Once there is a man his dreams were simple. He wanted to be an actor. That's all. To lie a little to audiences in a way that they liked being lied to. But time got stuck on him like go on a shoe. It was always his thirtieth birthday from the big bang to the tedious heat death of the universe. His thirtieth birthday forever time weighed on him. And so he looked out at every night Vale that has ever been and every night Vale that will ever be whole them. Swirling swinging through intertwining chronologies, and he concentrated very hard and he reached out one tired ancient. Thirty year old hand and stop them all. Just for moment. He stopped times gyrations. All is frozen. Water hangs in the air below elite king tap. The trees are sculpted by gust of wind, and haven't yet swung back to their natural state. The clouds former frozen pattern like snowdrifts in the sky. Avoidance of night. Vale sits in front of a microphone mouth open, but no words coming out all the voices in all of the night sales. On the highway out of town. Cars are stopped dead. Their drivers caught glancing at their phones or scratching their ears and thinking about what would finally make them happy. Or looking in the mirror and trying to gauge whether the car behind them belongs to the share of secret police farther out over the mountains and to the coast. The waves are stopped mid fall phone caught rising water. Caught tumbling an old man in Canada trips on a shoe discarded by his grandson. And there he remains hands out mid air, too late for anyone to save, but not yet colliding with the earth he will dislocate his knee. A soldier in China squint said a bird trying to decide which type birdied is really it's too distant to tell, but the soldier makes game of this to pass the TV. And so here they are squinting at a bird, but is stopped mid flight its wings outstretched catching win. That is no longer moving observe. The soldier in this moment, a thin slice of a long life. Out in low orbit a spindly silver being graceful super craft is caught in the instant win. It's a pin. Deg- is that are not really fingers. But we'll call them fingers even though technically are closer in function, two kidneys when it's fingers phase through the skull of seeping human that, that it has brought a board reaching into the humans memories, seeking out a clear understanding of a planet that the being has been tasked to observe. That planning and all of the other planets cease for a moment in their senseless hurdle to the vacuum. Suspended. The way they are diagrams. The story we tell ourselves of stasis and clear spatial relationships is for a moment. True an entire universe holds its breath. Then shift, my hand a little and years of time, click back into place and start again to move not quite as they were before they, they are on track. Now, they're tread a little truer. The beginning of my hand. Start of my. I take in air, I let out air and in the moment where the universe starts again. Something happens that has never happened before. Not in all of history. Today is a special day night. Vale Lee, Marvin star of stage and screen is. Oh, wow. Turning thirty one today. Happy birthday, Lee. You know it feels like our thirties, just fly by enjoy them while they last Lee. Marvin celebrated his birthday in a notably somber way. He stepped out onto his lawn. Nodding at passersby and various idiot birds, he spit through his teeth placed his hand on his hips watched the sun move for awhile. Then he nodded in approval of everything. He had seen and step back inside. Well, we all express happiness in our own ways. A few minutes ago. I got the most interesting voicemail from my most. Interesting husband Carlos. It's our six anniversary today. You know anyway he was so excited. I've never heard him talk so fast in his life. Carlos said he opened the clock that was on our mental piece at home. The one that was given to him by his mother the day he received his PHD the one. He brought with him tonight. Fail the one that after having come tonight. Vail. He opened to find that it was full of moss and for and human teeth. Time doesn't work in knightdale. He realized that he mourned the transformation of both the clock and is experience of the days and years of his life, but he still believes in keeping his possessions in perfect condition. And so today, he opened the clock to brush, its teeth only defined, it was full of gears and battery and was ticking away, he measured the movement of it's minute hand against the sun and found that the sun instead of disappearing at wildly. Different times was setting on a normal schedule. He called me up his voice cracking with excitement bordering on terror. Cease will see. So he said to me, so time is normal in night. Vale. Well. It is Knight Knight fail soon the symbol rise. And we know exactly what time that will happen, our lives have all lurched forward, is that good. Stay tuned, next for exactly what was scheduled to run next at the exact time it was scheduled to do so. And from my mouth to your ears even after all these years, good Knight Knight fail. Good night. Welcome tonight. Vale is a production of night Vale presents. It is written by Joseph Fink, and Jeffrey Craner and produced by disparition the voice of night. Vale is see so Baldwin, the voice of Deb was Meg the winner, the voice of Dana was to seek an Ecole, the voice of Steve was how loveline the voice of Lee. Marvin was T L Thompson. The voice of Maureen was Maureen Johnson, the voice of the faceless old woman was Mara Wilson. The voice of Bassima was Allie, Chan the voice of the number station was Molly Quinn, original music by disparition. All of it can be found at disparition dot info or at disparition dot band camp dot com. This episode's weather is things still left to say they mouth Plum from their upcoming album pity boy. Find out more and preordered the album at Malboum dot com. Comments questions. Email us at info at welcome tonight. Fail dot com or follow us on Twitter at night. Ville radio poor thinks sweetly back on better days. Checkout, welcome tonight, failed dot com. For more information on volumes. Three and four of our illustrated episode book collections out now. Plus info on our very last tour of spy in the desert live show, this summer and fall, today's proverb, technically the first human being and the first human being in space where the same person. Hey, I'm Dylan Merrin, and this is conversations with people who hate me, the show were I call up some of the folks who have said, hateful or negative things about me on the internet. You can listen to Dylan's conversation wherever you love listening to podcasts. Just search conversations with people who hate me, and remember, there's a human on the other side of the screen.

Vale Lee Mr Lee Marvin night Vale knightdale Dana cardinal Deb Knight dot Steve Jeffrey Craner Carlos Vale Cleveland apple Carnegie library apple Goodwin Dan arby Malboum dot Jessica Hayworth United States
171 - Go to the Mirror?

Welcome to Night Vale

34:26 min | Last month

171 - Go to the Mirror?

"Thank you so much to everyone who joined us for our livestream of condos last month, if you missed that show turned out so well, Dylan built himself a set to perform from. There was a surprise costume change and Marcus cat made a cameo during the faceless old woman's monologue. Anyway you can still check all of that out right up until August eighth, the show will be available. So just rabbit ticket at welcome tonight fill DOT com, and click on shows you can start watching it right away since it went so well, we have decided to do it again the. Librarian was the first night phil show. We ever tour way back in twenty fourteen. We rented some theaters on the West Coast four of us piled into a minivan and we just abe his shot without having any real idea what we were doing. Surprisingly, it went great and touring became our lives for years and years after. But for some obvious reasons, we cannot tour at this moment. So instead, we are performing the librarian for the first time in six years and we're doing it for all of you right in your homes. A lot is happening tonight phil over the last six. Years. But when a librarian escapes, we're all still in for awhile time. Yes. On the livestream on Dylan married Mara Wilson Symphony Sanders Make Bash men or how loveland Aaron McKie own as the weather, and of course, live disparition and live seal. This livestream will be on August twenty eighth at eight PM Eastern but it will be available to watch for a full month afterwards. So if you are not around on that day or live in a place where time is different from ours for some reason, you can still take part tickets are pay what you want starting with five dollars. And going up to whatever you can afford to support these artists who cannot currently do their usual work in theaters in front of your beautiful faces in person all of that at welcome tonight tell dot com click on chose to buy tickets and don't forget to click on store to see some of our new stuff for sale including our weather shirt our. If you see something say nothing and drink forget pint last our dog Park Shirt and some Night Vale Twenty Twenty Tory Burch or a tour that never got to happen which is pretty fail if you think about it and Get A dog. I am here today to talk to you about brave new world, a peacock original series based on all this Huxley's groundbreaking novel that imagines a Utopian Society where peace and stability our chief D- through the Prohibition of Nagami Privacy Money Family, and history itself for the citizens of new London happiness is universal. Everything seems perfect. Perfect has a price in a pressure cooker of the strict perfect world. The Utopian harmony of new London is threatened as residents began to question the dangers of their own conditioning. This is a story about human beings and the question of whether to achieve perfection is itself a deeply imperfect and maybe even dehumanizing process. All episodes of brave new world are available now on peacock the new streaming service from NBC universal sign up at. Peacock. TV DOT COM stream now. What makes you? You. Welcome to night, Vale. Do you ever stare at yourself for so long in the mirror that you no longer understand what you look like. Is this the same effect as thinking about someone you miss so much that you forget the shape of their face. Why would you do that? Why would you refuse to maintain order? Argue refusing? Or are you a victim of your own mind? Do brain cells dictate soles. Is Thought matter. Does thought matter. Who can say? Come the person looking back at you from the mirror tell you the answer. Just because you can see a person, does that mean that person exists? Is it you? You are looking at. Or is it Someone else. How many hairs do I have? How many did I have yesterday? Are they seem color? The same length are these the same hairs I had when I was a child. I be high if I'm going to ask myself these questions. Can you get high by behaving? Hi. Are you a good person. Because you do good things. Does a qualitative assessment of mandate impure ICAL evidence to support its truth. If I pointed something and declare it. Good Will I be cross examined and if so am I to be held in contempt for refusing to answer. Narrative is everything. Right. has anyone else been feeling this way? That you don't recognize yourself. have. You told anyone. Does it help is it helping now hearing me talk about it Basically. Why do I know I? Am Me. How many times have I seen myself in the mirror. Is it bad that the answer is rarely. Shouldn't we all be afraid of mirrors or is it just me? How many times a fit of disassociation do we see someone else? Behind? US. Are you to too afraid to turn around. You really want to challenge the veracity of your eyes. Do you think disbelief in death. Will make it. Disappear. Our awareness. and. Manifestation. One and the same. So. What did I see in the? Mirror today. Don't we all see. The same thing is into the person who looks exactly like ourselves and weren't they making the same physical gestures and behind that person in the reflection did you not also see just over your shoulder? A pair of is the curve of ahead and did you notice how that head was human in shape? But. Maybe only. A third of the size. and. Did you make the same mistake as I. thinking, that because the head was so small. It must have been some distance away. But he was stared. So long the into those tiny is didn't you? And then you saw then you saw right Did you see little spiny fingers? Reach up in front of. Its miniature. Dismiss. Passionate face. And topped your Shell Turfs. Did you scream inside? When you understood. You really true. The understand that it was climbing. Right there. On your back. Argue still screaming. Like I'll still screaming. How can you know how I feel? What do you want from the? where it was. I. Who is behind you in the mirror? Or what is behind you? Should speak in present or past tense. Is there a face there or is the face gone now? Are you no longer at the mirror do you feel safer? Why do you assume that because you aren't looking in the mirror right now that the tiny face and spiny digits. Are Not, still behind you. Feel it. For you sits reflexively touching your shoulder right now. Or keep. Pace scared. Was Is this like when the ATM activists if you want to check your balance before withdrawing money and you decline because you just don't want to know. It doesn't change the fact of your bank balance does it Again. You think awareness and manifestation or one and the same don't you Don't feel. So, what of that little face with its inexpressive eyes and flat limitless mouth? Didn't it look like? Did look also familiar. Where have you seen that face before? Is it a ghost. A Monster? For Your own. Imagination. Are you thinking about it. Are you starting to forget exactly what it looks like Do, you want to go to the mirror again. Do you want to stare. And Stare at it. Until you can comprehend what did he? Why What will that accomplish? Are you being on this with yourself is it the real danger? Your own fakes? Could it be inferred that you invented the creature to distract yourself from the real horror? And what if we went to the mirror together? If, we don't feel alone in our feelings. Could we conquer? Are we in agreement you and I. What are you even looking at? Your focus drifting? To, your shoulder. Can you not do that? Can you resist the urge? What will staring directly into your terror accomplish And see the face again don't. Argue was scared as before. Or have you steeled yourself for this is remind more free to think critically about what it is and what it. Once. Is it attack Or defending. Is it friend or foe or indifferent. Why is it so familiar? Is it something from childhood? Or was it a dream you once had if you think about a memory long enough doesn't that mutate the truth isn't every act of remembering another log on the fire of lies when was the last time? You saw your mother? Spin since. It hasn't i. Didn't. She warned you. About bureaus. Didn't she tell you They would be your demise. Or was that just a Popular. Bedtime Story. Do you see a flickering Behind the tiny face is that sunlight oscillating behind swiftly moving clouds or is that the creature creating that effect? Is it getting closer? Is the flickering less like a strobe effect in more like a hand drawn flip book. Now that we're looking with clearer is, is it just me or does the creature look like? A drawing. Do, you suddenly remember a swing set. Why Swing set? You on the swing set where'd you? Did you go. Was it possible to do a full loop? Would you have fallen out at the top of the circle or? Did, you understand centripetal force without knowing the term. And when you let go at the apex of your art, Did you predict correctly the pain of a broken leg when you landed? Do, you still remembered the sound of the snap. You still shudder when ice cracks in more water were. Someone POPs, a knuckle. On did your mother tell you about swing sounds? What did she say to you when you go to her for help? She leaned over your sobbing face an ask you why are you crying with? You don't even exist. Did. She tell you again about the mirror. Do, you still see the flickering creature climbing up your back? Is the little hand. Reaching up again. Do you notice it wears black brings. Or. Those talents? And what is it opening its mouth to say to you see how it rises up behind you? HOW LONG IS ITS TORSO? Is it some kind of snake but with human skin, why does it have so many teeth how long can a hung be? What is it doing? Why is it crying? Is it a child? What unholy monster cries like a child? What does it want? Why won't it stop? Is Gone. For you to. Tonight I look away. To. To do that. Did. You figure it out. Good, you see pastor own mental inventions. Who out there looked beyond the long gape jawed figure and it's inexplicable wine. Did you see the table. There in the mirror image of your house did you see the? You had noticed the table before. Had you. What if the table of its chipped corners? What of the mismatched would stain on the tiny drawer at its center? Would if it's tarnished yet ornate brass both Knob, did you turn around to see if the table was in your home to? Were you sad. When you realized it was not. Or were you relieved? Lie. Was the table only in the mirror. Why isn't it real but isn't it? Though you didn't ask for any of this did you? But what have you ever asked from the universe that you could not get yourself and win has the universe ever obliged what's inside the drawer of the rickety table in the mirror? What other uncanny discoveries await you if you could just break through is it as simple as breaking through? The you find that the simplest problems require the biggest efforts. have. You ever decided you wanted a lightweight will button up coat all black did you go shopping for it and did you find one how disappointed were you to learn that this design was not available in any of the five stores you went to did you ponder the idea that such a coat was so basic? So unassuming. So without frill or feature that no one had ever thought to create it, do you want to know what's in the drawer? Below the table. To be as easy to obtain as a lightweight wool button up coat. All Black. But nothing. Nothing. Easy. Ever is, is it? How do you get to a table? That's right in front of you but only visible in nearer. Shouldn't take a break from this. When some? Fresh air. Be. Good for you. What's the weather like outside? In. Thirty five. mind. lattice. Our. What are you not getting? Besides the creature and the table what are you not noticing? Do you see yourself. What is different about the you you are and the you you see before you or you pink close attention to the color of your eyes are you watching for any deviation in the movement of her reaction? The creature over your shoulder now that has revealed itself. Do you find it less frightening? Pleaded visit to sits cry kind of sound now, like the high pitched howl of Siberian, Husky Puppy vocalizing it's hungry. Isn't it less scary and? More. Just weird. Did you see the movie signs did you feel less creeped out once the aliens were shown onscreen? Isn't all fear fear of the unknown? Argue concentrating on the table now and you're sure. It only exists in the mirror. double-checked. Do, you want to know. What's inside the drawer on the front of the table? Are you willing to break something? Are you willing to break the mirror gas but so much? Are you willing to go to replace from which you cannot return? Are you willing to learn things you cannot unlearn. Do you have a hamper? Not, can you find something heavy that you can lift? Will you smash beaver with you do it quickly? Why are you hesitating? Have you let your comfortability lapse into careless? Why did you take your eyes off the creature on your neck? Did you see the blood. Or feel the pain I is it tearing into your flesh? Is that why you're screaming? Steal. Break the mirror burdensome consciousness. Are you. or You. or You. Are you. Okay. Did you do it? If. You look into the mirror you just smashed. See that the creature is gone. But isn't it strange? At all about you on the floor or shards of the mirror shattered yet in front of you, the mirror remains fully intact. Stranger Scary. Wouldn't you think that the mirror being simultaneously broken broken and unbroken in strange while the fact that you've having a reflection is scary. Is that true though. Do. You have a reflection. You seek yourself. On, the floor of the mirrors world this. Is your body crumpled on the floor like wet towel is your lower jaw hanging open because you died screaming. Because of gravity. Have a blanket of some sort. Why don't you cover that mirror up? Why don't you cover all the mirrors in fact while you are walking about your home, do you notice the antique table by the door with its tarnished yet ornate brass bulb knob was that table is there Did you. Can turn the mirror. World. Or were you always in the mirror? World Is Different around you. Do you remember why you never opened that door. What was it? About the book. Inside that frightened soak. Was it. The handwriting that matched no known language only was it the drawings of serpents with human faces, but in numerous teeth The disorientation you felt from seeing these faces contorted into a screen yet. Is expressing nothing. Does inscrutability. Scare you. saw. What was it? Your mother said before she left home when you were teenager did she tell you? She was some horrible did she tell you to read the book till you understood that gets alphabet? Did she make you promised to never tell another sole to keep that promise by burying? It's so deep. So so deep now what we cover them bureaus and sweep the floor and pretend it never happened with this, prevent it from happening again or awareness and manifestation one and the same. Who can say? We'll you stay tuned next? For sound of a muffled. Presented without context or commercial interruption could that be an egg? OR TWIG Or leg. Narrative is. Isn't it? Won't you? Have a good night. Night fail. Won't you have a good? Night. Do. You like fiction podcasts, core CTO well I have a fiction podcast for you. Blood ties stars Oh boy a bunch of names I'll try not to mispronounce Gillian Jacobs Josh Gad Dominic, Monaghan Amy Land Decker Wayne Night I think I got all of those right after the sudden death of Michael and Eleanor Richland's billionaire father disturbing allegations emerge about his dark past these revelations thrust the pair into a fight. They are completely unprepared for the Wall Street Journal said of season one, it's. The kind of character driven story that fits right in with the true crime miniseries typical wondering last season was all about question season two is all about answers, and if you want those answers than good news season two is available now on apple podcast spotify or you can listen early and add free by starting your thirty day free trial of one degree plus in the new wondering APP download the APP today and stick around for a trailer of the podcast after the show today. Hey Jeff Craner here take a break. It's honestly okayed relax for a few minutes solve a puzzle, play a game I'll recommend one for you. Best fiends. It's an puzzle game that is simple to understand but challenging for your brain I'm at Level One fifty on this game and its characters are adorable and I'm collecting lots of new ones with co powers. But what I'm really into our the fun complex set of puzzles plus it's got fantastic Zainuddin animation and I mean that drabber stiff gameplay is often ender for me. Best scenes flows. There's a lot of stressful days lately, and honestly this game has been a really great diversion for me. Fiends has thousands of levels already with new levels, events and characters added every month. It's hours of fun right at your fingertips and you can even play off line with over one hundred million downloads. This five star rated mobile puzzle game. A must play download best fiends free on the apple APP store or Google play. That's friends without the our best fiends. Welcome to Night Vale is the production of Knightdale presents. It is written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Craner and produced by description the Voice of Night Vale is see. So Baldwin original music by disparition, all of it can be found at disparition dot band camp, dot com this episodes weather was flower lane by fun bearable. Find out more at fun bearable dot band Camp Dot. COM comments questions email us at info at welcome tonight fail DOT COM or follow us on twitter at night. They'll radio or buy a grill and stand majestically amongst the smoke and flowers as you wait for the onions. Finish becoming delicious checkout tonight fell dot com for Info about upcoming livestream production of our first touring live show from back in two thousand fourteen the librarian. A good time today's proverb call me old fashioned but I believe dance is the only true language. If they haven't landed yet haven't landed yet. Then we're going to have to spend the holidays listening to our father go on about lending the Cessna in a store except he's going to call it a hurricane I talked to mom when you're on the air, they were twenty minutes out and that was three hours ago. My phone to kids something's happening in the she says something. Both. Is. The last thing my mom ever sent me a text message it said. Something's wrong. Your Dad is. My Dad is. What exactly mom. What is he? Tragic news out of the Caribbean this evening where Dr Peter Richland cleared head. Richland. From wondering the makers of dirty John and Dr Death comes blood ties, a new scripted audio dramas starring Gillian Jacobs Josh Gad and amy. Landeck name is Gillian Jacobs and I play. Eleanor richland. I'm Josh Gad and I'm playing Michael in blood ties Michael Michael. Richland richland like the company worked for blood ties is mystery intrigue. Revenge you really don't know what exactly is going on. You don't know. What anyone's agenda really used? Many things in his life but I've been looking at some other. Thank. Then I'm offering you the chance to help me tell the truth about him. Don't call me again for same chance I offered your mother. Really, never hear any of these rumors before I'm daughter Connie. So no one's really telling me rumors like this. It's really the story about this brother and sister trying to put these pieces together after a tragic accident involving their parents in a plane crash richland health services short me. Take, care of everything what do you mean by everything? I'm not leaving till. We find my dad we are getting on that plane and also learning an uncovering the truth not only as it relates to their parents but certain truths inconvenient trues allied add about themselves. I know you met with Connie from the times and I know your mother met with her to. Let's just assume we know everything about everything. Okay. Really pushing back now they're really pushing back during using this. Story once and for all. We need to find out what the hell is avenue. Snow is glistening. A beautiful side we're happy. Winter? Wonderland. That's modern medicine for you. Can't cover up. For a limited time, start your thirty day free trial of one hundred plus in the new ones APP to listen Ad Free and early to blood tie season to download the APP today. High above Paris near that Harry top of the Eiffel Tower here, all new adventure featuring this janitor. I can come the stage have. This and this drunken out of control diva flattery will get you know where except my dressing room. The orbiting human circus in Nadi New Listen now WNYC, studios, in Knightdale presents.

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