1 Episode results for "Mandy Aka"
Ep 231: K*MMing out of depression
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That's w. h. o. r. e. i. Ellie on top of fifteen percent off you get free returns and reshipping on orders over forty nine dollars. That's love honey. Dot com promo code verbal or fifteen percent. Yes what decision. We're about to make decision. Welcome to the. i'm mandy. Aka a bitch. Aka pit. The sally and ak- april court courthouse aka. I'm just glad having fucking voice. So yeah there. We're trying to do a timely episode. And there's not really much going on the fact that i'm depressed in cuomo is has resigned. He showed what what about. What about you. let's go catch up for you catch up for me. I mean i ain't gonna holiday businessman active. I've been. I mean there's a lot there's a lot that can't talk about just yet. I wanna talk about just a lot like boys lot no more so work but now a boyfriends ex. My boyfriend we're doing. We're doing good but we're not doing a whole comment section confused about when it's something they can be confused. I'm happy i'm happy. And i am currently having a whole lot of fucking sex the best of my life and when they say you'll get it in your thirties. It's true get the best of your life. Oh i thought you meant the beach use pill he takes. Is there believe you know it is great sex and i'm actually trying to like tone it down because like now. I'm having orgy that my house. And i'm like now much girl i had. There was seven people at my house. Look at my cleaner coming game. Because i was like this intense so at this point everywhere we go. We meet couples. We be couples and we've had a couple at the beach said hey want to join us for dinner. Went from dinner to. Hey we'll when it comes to the house in from there. I really am because i'm also i was on every type of edible showroom liquor and everything else and it was great when you invited the couple to dinner. Did you just want like a couple of friends or did you definitely wanna have sex. Well the girl the girl fine and she sat by us at the beach all day beggar. What about the nigga. You ain't found him. no no. That couple was definitely new. And so the lifestyle so they watched me with the other couple and the other couple had a unicorn. Did you meet the other couple at a party. Cook that jimmy the unicorn the is there. I'm sorry we know. Just don't ask me that fine saying like i'm confused because i never thought that i would be this deep into the lifestyle. I know you hate that word. But hey i'll just joking about it cause mandy says it like i'm in what i say. I am in the lifestyle. Holy fucking shit. Like where i'm just like. Okay i want my tell out of the water just for a little bit and go back to normalcy and then we can come back like i guess i feel like how you felt like when you like me and all bagel everywhere and we can you want we want it becomes kind of life so fucked up to say that it really is really fucked up. That sounds great when we just want the reason we have one that kind of negative people be typing us essays. How do i get and just got we. We have a lot every week. We're in threesomes foursomes. Some shit okay. Break time and break so they just left over. What did the cow over. What did the cat do. The cat and the cat is at this point. Boaty just knows. I'm a whole body by the way for yogic tuning in is my cat bro. We sitting here eating strom chocolates playing games. I'm stripping and dancing and just up on a got damn chair just looking everyone just sitting looking at everyone and you know black people out of five. Just don't fuck with cats or allergic. So now i just have zirtec ready when anyone comes in my. I'll say not sure your feelings on cats but here's those are tech tech economic. What i would do is nina started. What would i do for those of you watching on youtube. My child is here. I haven't had sex in front area. It will happen. She he it. You don't know how they wanna be idea it don't matter she you don't now how they want to be identified. New didn't ambitious. We got sued for it. I know so. It's the thing here. Go check say their name. Don't just classify your child by what you don't know. They wanna be referred to as well she. I think she's also being just like nick is like the cat. My cat don't like negative. What is with y'all racist as pets race. Hardy are i mean men. Anyone loves curb your enthusiasm. Like i said nigga remember that day was saying the i said. So we're talking about emails here Which is great. But i knew that. Because when she when i when i got the dog her brother was there and he was getting hurt and she was pleased. And i was like this is. My dog hates niggers to twitch. Don't hey hey but they do beginners with orgy. What other things do you. I was literally about to be like we easy now. Update us on your life like talk about pussies. He's broken but like oh. Let's get back to the cabbie mine only gets broken. Because i'm getting like eight and a half rounds in the morning after having orgies the night before you know it's just a lot so you prepare the cat to go up and look and then you have the cats because you get a yet. No the cat doesn't have a crate. Got full apartment. I'll know that's why these scratching. I'm getting fucked absolutely not the bed. He actually is under the bed. While i'm fucking normally. We hear that you hear my child. I will say this one thing. Have an animal in the house. That knows your schedule. Because now this little bitch they were like make feeder at eight one in five. Oh absolutely not. She eats when i get up. I'm not about just fucking. Who told you like the puppy. Trainers eat three meals a day puppies. Probably i was like she eats when i get when we start and if mommy goes to sleep at two. Am you go to sleep. And you need at ten thirty as well. I'm not about to do this. Bullshit are you kidding. Me also hate to say it you know. I did get the dog for my mother. But it's really an emotional support doglike to the core like when people say that like i realized that last night was real like it's she's really an emotional support dog like i was having an attack. It was getting really bad. The dog fucking calm you down and i was like i am a white woman and when i realized that i said let me look up. Serve as dog because delta now charges for emotional support animals. What's wrong so basically a service dog is free on. All flights and the dog can be a service dog as long as you register. It and the trainer does need a certain amount of hours. I just went myself as the trainer. And when i go onto delta one turn my flight. La they're like that's the service on me like bitch read the paper. How do you go thank you. Have you spoken to her during your tough times yet. Do you talk to your dog. What the fuck is wrong with us. I mean you don't talk to your mandy what's gonna be able to get the fuck outta here breath. I say yeah it'd be talking to him like a little bitch get a month fucking nerves guy so no i'm needy but he's needier so like if i just wanna watch tv. That's how i relax. I watch guy's grocery games chops guys. Roaster literally buy whatever. I don't know why that is. How relaxed. I watch those type of shows and body just demand so much attention so if i'm not paying attention he goes around the house and just starts knocking shit off the tables the bar the whatever and he just knocks it until i just be like boating and then he wants me to chase it. I saw him sit on your laptop. He was not doing work. He comes in sits right on the line. You said he broke my tv. When i moved in with my when my ex spend the night he'll we don't spend the night anymore but he do. We don't heal body will wake 'cause boaty normally wakes up with me. No he'll go propagandists on my nigga. Oh sarah him. Well i'm gonna tell you something about this. This is no no this means that. What the home the parent in the home yesterday. What am me so basically. So my mom was my primary parent. And this is why nina doesn't roam free. This is why why gets yelled at. She gets smacked our smack bodey. This is get smack smack. 'cause she's a baby but this is why she's create trains but cats are different. No smack the cat gets he gonna do smack your back issue. That body will hate me the for better now. We fight in now literally like were were before. Oh yeah that's what it looks like. I'm gonna cut up. you know what. Let's let's take a survey. This is what color nina is. She's black colors boaty bodies orange. Okay maybe go body is orange mixed. Yeah you played out Anyway so basically she mad at me. She was like bitch. I wanted to play. How do you know she's mad at you. 'cause she won't lay on me when she's mad at me that's why she's in between my legs anyway. Speaking of emotional sport. So i my policies broken oven super depressed pussy. Why is it broken. I just don't know all. I think i just can't like horny. Oh i'm and it's very difficult when you're depressed and then people like i'm very. I can function at high levels depressed. I can make jokes. I can do my job. And then i decided breakdowns at night but i i mean like the jokes help you push through so anyway. I knew in news time for like the dog or even my mom dog. This was my plan. I was like. I'm going to get the dog from mama. Indivi- can't handle the dog and like it's just too much then it will definitely be for my mom but now i'm gonna have to get her new dog because this is alisa mainly my child but a lot of things leading up to it so for one. What makes me angry about when you press. Things did not say to a depressed person. But i don't understand your life is so great that to me is a very fucked up thing to say to someone because you have no idea to. Someone told me not to complain. Because i have money and that i could do what i want to get out of it. What oh yeah. But you've got money so just go to the fucking spot like you're gonna be fine. Do you know how many people depressed at can't do that. Like yes. i'm i completely understand. That like have means to do things to make me feel better but negative shit dummy. Feel better i off. I didn't even notice the steps of depression that were happening. But when i found out. I had to live in la for some time out of the month ray. Every month like a week. I like okay. No big deal have a crib there. It'll be nice like fine. And then i was like. Oh my god like. I'm have clothes that i have to have their and then have to have here after like i can't really plan for things ahead. I vacation so much. Nagai moved to mexico last year. I haven't been on one vacation. Because i feel like after like really be at everyone's beck and call whether that be my my studio whether that'd be horrible whether they be kenya. It's like everything in my life. I feel like i can't do it. So that's fucked me up and then also like the loneliness of having to travel so much especially when you're not traveling leader when you're traveling for work in your loan as a different thing like almost started talking to myself that it was like getting manic just sitting in a hotel while i was like inbetween moving almost like what are we going to eat today. What should i today. And it was only child shirt. You said that you. We actually talked about. That on patriarch. Because i think he wrote about it but not only. Do you plan everything you you say you talk to yourself. Yeah not like this occurs questioning you do. are you really chip. And say hey. This is a little bit cuckoo then. Another thing that i started realizing was happening was like for one. I was super dependent on physical touch from like anybody not anybody. I guess i'll take that back from obviously like a lover but it was like really bad like if the nicotine in his sleep i was like. Oh my god he hates me. I know we all make jokes about apple like my brain would do it for maybe two hours at night and i just couldn't understand then when i came home This is an we. He's been a guest on the show. I won't say his name. Because i don't know how vocal he's been about this. But i knew the depression was thinking in when i didn't want to wake up. And this showering felt like the longest thing in the world to do. And i'm not sure you're funny about that. 'cause i know cocoa mature but no no. No you ain't been showering. How but like almer by midday nuts not talking about the vanilla but anyway we'll get there the showering not even kidding was like because i knew i had to change clothes and get in move And i was like when you are depressed. And you get a on my god now as i figure out but this one was like it was just like everything was a lot of work. The dog believe it or not is now like routine for me. I gotta get up. Because i gotta feed somebody else. You know what. I mean then another thing that pissed me off when i talked about how i wanted to get a dog. Oh everyone told me how. I was too busy. Didn't have time for the dog. And i needed to just do whatever i was doing. First of all the dog born to be away. Oh no man noman. Just wait to the followers get involved mitch. I'm on a trip. i get ten. Dm's easily so who's watching bodey. So who's feeding bodey. So did you bring bodey. I know how to take care of a fucking handle that. I think everyone thinks that we have. Maybe because we don't have kids and we lived as carefree. Everything's about me life. People do that. When i traveled to make me feel bad that i left boaty that. Just wait so you start just being out in the club looking like you're having a good sign. They're going to ask you already did. Yeah girl also anyway. They act like we just don't know how to do nothing but literally digging open our legs and at any given point that we're doing anything else to just enjoy ourselves. What about your responsibility. Oh i i take the dog to lucian. Everybody knows. I love lucy. And that's all i talk about. Lou talks lucian go. We take a picture. She young to be outside. Then wait young but be outside. She just can't be on the grass or things like that. As if i would ever if there's grass in new york the concrete i couldn't have got him dog and no fuck any would look at this day please. So whatever So then i went out one night and you know. I don't drink a lot i know but like i said i've been depressed and i went out brianna and i went to go get some aid and we were talking about work or whatever and then i realized how good i felt the second had to drink and i'm not that type of person at all like i like to drink to have fun. Yeah this was the first time where. I won't drink when you're depressed when i felt like. Oh i'm fine when the one drink one of my system and i was like obituary. This is bad if you feel good like this. Yeah so didn't get thrown literally was like. Oh like i'm too far gone so just really wanted to not have to answer to people's i deleted my instagram forbid twitter and that felt really good because i will tell you with some of the liberating thing about it. You realize nobody has access you. Initiate feels so liberating all my god like the fact that people have to text me to like check on me. It's like that actually felt better. Like i had to like. I'm strengthening existing relationships again. Like shout out to rashida was checking on you. You know what's up and then we started talking and now i have a trip to go see her. And we're gonna go hiking like that would not have happened if we didn't have to actually speak because we just know that on social media everybody's okay because it's they're fucking highlight reel. Sharon is text me like all my friends anyway. I felt great to know that. And i'm not gonna say it was just like quote unquote cry for help thing. Because it wasn't i just wanted to delete everything. Peace of mind. After that one drink i gave the dog. Okay mad at me now. The world please fucking left to mexico. i stated. i can't believe i went to cancun. Like a fucking spring raker hotel but it was. Just the quickest thing i could do and hot and i stayed at the ritz shutout to one of our followers. You've got me the wild discount nigga for four fucking days. I rarely left this resort. I spent one day crying real bad and then the other day missing the dog and the third day and i didn't drink. I was just chilling. But like i really needed to go and nigga took a whole fucking call Kenya's gotta call every week. We do with ocean in the back like you have and we bought a writer scheduled. And we've got this like it's crazy. How i was like working through it but now what i've really learned is one this the way that people can reach you like that social media shit. I didn't realize how fucked up ahead me now. Like i lie but i'm not going to go in there and be like. Oh my god today suck so much. I wanna take an ambien not gonna do that. I'm not gonna make everyone else feel bad. I'm gonna post the dog and smile because that's what we do so it's not like you're fronting more than you almost can't do that to other people because i knew i was that bad i was like. Oh i'm just gonna remove my complete self away from it. I did not. I'm so glad we didn't do patriots this week for horrible decisions because i was like. Oh these one. Have you know i watch. I was that bad now. I'm better but just can't get horny. Which is really crazy. So forced myself to masturbate on vacation in that you force yourself to masturbate. Yeah what alarm. And i was like a very sexual person clearly. Yeah i mean you look at the mug on the tape show so anyway. I like basically set this alarm. I was asleep. Daddy wanna get up. And when that's how you this it was gorgeous mandy. Like all my. They gave me as ocean view balcony. And all this shit like fucking old based sent me roses. Tell me he wants to be a feel better. It is gorgeous over the top. And i don't know if anyone stayed at like a ritz but the richest so old school rich. They got the maids. Come up with a little crown. as and shit you'd be like deems. Let that. But i just could not get out of bed so i kept setting alarms to masturbate and i was like. I'm not going to stop hearing. Went until i master eight once i did it. Oh my god so much anxiety like went away. I felt so much better. It's actually had to remind myself to do it. And although i'm not horny right now it'll come back to me. One day. it was crazy that coming completely cleared me like is a temporary It's very temporary. If you're in a in a depressed and you do anything sexual. It's that jolts of ooh. That was good but but the endorphins are good. Yeah and it's a stress reliever. But i started looking up. It turns out. Because i was like oh like this actually helped me through the day and it turns out. People can masturbate nonstop when they're depressed the only way bill feel good much like drinking nigga had hotline and everything like people are like nonstop masturbaters which not saying that. I did do it in an airplane. But it wasn't happy. But i feel like if you do on the way to starbucks and on the way to loom you. Masturbate worked food and have you here. No no yet. that's what she say. Well no van you right hayward girl maybe i have raved at the beginning of time about safe sex. 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About what you do with all that nasty stuff you get so speaking of dirty places and the showering thing if anyone has been looking at the internet lately which by the way boy have. I missed memes. Oh my god vinny has been trying to keep me up to date like holy shit. I wanted twitter so bad when cabaret came on. I'm not gonna lie told you it's awful. You know barbies and new york. And i almost want her to come in here and tell us why she's the nick. 'cause i watched a live when she goes you now. Everybody's just so mad at me. Swear to god she did it just like this. Because i said they an word. Why did you do air quote. I just wanted to say my appease. Oh it's up. She would have left. we would have. We would have liked dragged her for filth. I know but i wasn't even good. She would have been on the live content but she would. She probably would've left in ten minutes. Oh yeah one hundred percent. That's why you just trying to pay my niki. Nobis and i bet she's still a anyway. I wanted twitter for that. I felt like i missed a lot. Also so vinnie. Newsmen ascendancy which has been lovely and one of the things i saw was that cocoa said. She doesn't take showers every day. Which you only saw that one person. No no no. I got a list. I heard her say because she was the video. I saw when i heard her say and i quote i mean if i'm feeling achey like i'll wash under my arms are washington area. That's it should go in the rich. You got multiple bathrooms. Le- let me tell you something that motherfucker pet co told me. They say what will be the most gentle shampoo for the dog. They said well she's too young. You don't want be there. She's about three months. I said well she's two months so you think i'm going to have an animal in my home. That won't be bathed for a month. Yes you could use pet wipes oh hell no bitch. I'm yeah that's fun month. The dogs aren't the same as and if they're innocent. If it's a house dog they clean them. Get out fuck out of here. Oh they're not people well. Nina has already had two baths. She is a very natural lavender. Not went to one. La ho listing bitch own. Okay show us telling me. Don't wash dog. they were like police anyway. Hell no this anti ship. No this is not no no no no so here. We go celebrities that have been making a big stink on the internet. We've got jake glennon hall jalen hall jake. Jill not only i- distraught because he is one of the only pink dix. I would've given time. He lives in again. But this is also why bro. Five years in. I told john this folks. The whites broke this practice out here. Not even washing themselves bro. And you think. I'm supposed to put my mouth near hairballs near deir. Translate subpoenas nell injury shelter and wants his life but we knew that one he looked like weizman look like you don't want to say valley we on looking at her akash is wedding and this is just how like you don't have. Add we're talking about something with interior design was looking at her. And i was like she is so sweet and pretty clean. How does she do no use our girl. So you're telling me you just said that with his mother fucker you know dogs. No i hold. You is the same way when bitches break up with a negative. Maybe like a dirty anyway. I'm sorry ouch ma'am. You're just as dirty dirty balls. You sleep that dirty negatives and the best read ever in life if i could fucking no the number knee best fucking episode of a podcast i've ever heard in my life was smell and taste by the read. Iconic fucking episode please. I don't know who don't notice episode. Oh do you know what. I'm talking about what i mean. If you didn't says fury and crystal read this thing with this girl talks about how. Nick smells dick yes yes. That's that's what i wrote. Even a bath like yuck also. She said is smell and taste brand. It's the same thing i feel like. We've talked about that before. Like if you go down on somebody and you're complaining about the smell and the taste but you still go through with the act. You were dirty bitch to you. Just dirty bro. Then you got this skid marks his draws and you still eating at as unit mendis man jay jilin also more and more. I find bathing to be less. Necessary broke aromatic. Admission came virtually as he was asked about. His experiences in nyc is a watertown all tied to his appearance in prada's ad for a new fragrance and he said he just didn't think that everyday was necessary. You ain't gotta look at jason momoa. There's a reason why. Oh 'cause i told you. I was gonna say your range of white. P taylor's with taylor swift's ellen. She revealed on ellen that she doesn't watch legs in the show. But let me tell you what kills me about that. I use a loofah dream. But when i use a rag and i wiped my legs especially wearing shorts sometimes i see dirt like when i'm in the car. May maybe this is a new york thing but when you're industry like i'll see god. New york is filthy. Yeah you have to wash every part of your body. My definitely has touched. Listen on killing me. A kristen bell. Jack sheppard have proudly come forward to shower. Praise as pioneered by baby wipes legend. Brad pitt brad. Dan grow ashton kutcher. Cuteness kounellis municipal. Oh god he brought up is not cool. Yes it is. It's not kyun as i bet you his kunis me knees coon nina. What these hard ethnic. No this shit up anyway. Jason momoa said he shower every day. Because he's he's op. Ed jason momoa can get all of my holes raw. They is very weird. Range of life. And jason momoa is like pacific islander some shit european. This is what european european. What is table. That is not a white man as you look from hawaii. German irish name ridge. Why americans american right. You said european. I think it was european components. No it's not myla rather me la kounellis. What is you say. Kunis you brought up. The whole translate added a whole damn height like apostrophe. You know other languages they'd be added neither accidents yet don't they. I swear slicing anyway. Fuck y'all okay. So i get into a got on a call. My mom i was like you see all these people who ain't shower. She was like you know when you were a baby. 'cause like they used to tell me. Don't shower you. She often because it dries your skin out. I said no the correct way is to block it when someone has dry skin you you don't be super harsh and no like super hot water bitch about to tell me like you just not bathe. And he's like no. Yeah but i'm not okay with it in this is why told giant when no white man because they don't be clean broke cameron diaz said also. She has us dod him for twenty years really bad. You just trim your armpit hair so it doesn't hold onto your sent. Sweat is our bodies of detoxifying. We do need to sweat. Body odors a good indication at his time to hit the shower. When you smell. It's time to take that shower so bitches not take a shower until they smell that. That's wild to me. that's wild to me matthew. My name's to like. I know this because some people i don. I feel like you smell yourself. This one sick. A lot of people julia roberts says she likes to save water. She's really green. She likes the smell of her natural oils. She also says she can't wash your hair too often because that's true but that the hair thing leaguer i put my braids up in a month and i watch my braids once a week. That's why the shadowed shea she be. Oh yea every damn we do my hair and she just be like girl. I see no other client when you. Because i love to watch fucking on understandings carcass. I'll tell you anyway. Rates cats. I cannot and to all of our twenty-seven white listeners. We might have made it to thirty two by now but you know way actually. A lot of they really like guys. There's no way they're just not taking showers like white guys be looking at what's in your shower come to a whole nigga. That's on the fucking internet. Okay never mind. i'm lying. I'm line will say i did feel bad. That people were judging her about breastfeeding in age. And i don't know. I'll say i don't have a child. Never breastfed so i see all somebody breastfeeding. They child till they will shut up. Wow i was thinking about grandma's how eric and say neela i mean it is but i can think about it. We'll have them on an episode soon. But like you know. People were critical for her breastfeeding her kid. And taking a picture of them together and just sharing that moment. And it's like you can't do she. If i post me love him. I love him too much. One of my friends told me who has a one and a half year old. Who's baby father shouted listening bitch. Do her baby father's family is to witness. She said they said that she was dressed in the one year. Old too sexy because the one year old had shirt where ruffles line. And he's like he's me. When i tell you she has her daughter looking adorable and cute and appropriate ruffles is how do i describe it. It was off the shoulder little rougher. I don't even know how to say this i. I'm just. I'm i'm just in shock that people just take things there But you know with the breastfeeding in asia thing. I don't know but her not showering. I do because i know. Show wash them. Kids either was the longest. You've been without a shower too. Two days kobe. I think kobe was definitely to today. Yeah but like new york especially anymore. Because it's like you're freezing. Travel when i travel especially like when i was just in mexico or when i do anything to two or three showers a day like all especially from changing outfits. I have like a routine that i'm going out. I showered before. I go out and the only way i don't shower when i get back in house is if i'm drunk as fuck and then it just sucks because shower wash airplane. I gotta wash my pillow cases because nowadays makeup. I don't like when people like fly in and don't shower before they give them a bit nasty especially that. La flight six hour. Sit on the couch. Get your ass show until ball anyway. Okay well get to the horrible decision which is broken. Basically affecting out of that. So i remember like years ago you were talking about how Lawyer bay was depressed and it was really wearing on you and you know i haven't really been talking to anyone because i feel like if you talked to someone that you can use on how to pressure. That's weird for them. Like i just have chose to shut. My mouth aren't told you earlier this year. Like i was probably in the most depressed they had ever been in my life for like maybe the first five six months of this year like i changed my number and at the time with my partner it was like i didn't realize how just much depression was like seeping out into where he was like. Listen i feel like. I can't even make you happy and if i can't make you happy then maybe this isn't what you know. Maybe we've ran on course like it was awful like my friend. My best friend had cancer. My mom i thought she was going to die of covert. Just everything a move in. maybe even. That's what it is with you. Having to live in two places. I didn't realize how much moving from one apartment to the next brings on depression. Because you're out of your comfort. You and i started tonight. I love my apartment. That's what i'm saying. Don't let me wrong. The new crew was lit Dream all the move is a weird thing right because now i have to basically make another place a home. Which here's the weird thing too. When i was traveling at first it was like a week a month at a hotel. You think it's cool. It's not really cool. There's only so much fucking take out you can eat before you just want to wake up and at least make your own coffee or something. It's weird but i mean i got a nice as a house i could and you know i did what i don't have any york. I did florida ceiling windows. I did doorman. Because i love my lower session. Like i did the pool and gym and i did the whole thing but even then i'm like ow still want to be back in new york and i'm not really. La family that on top of the fact that no. I love new york. Yeah i i just always have to be there so i have to choose to enjoy it And then like you gotta make a whole new set of friends. You know what. I mean like that. She does a lot of work. I got three friends in l. a. And i think my closest friend. La's probably even then he'd be like i am not leaving the house and like begging him to go for a workout. Yeah we're gonna work out and then like now notice them but it's hard to do that so You know i don't want to put it on other people or people that i'm dating but here's some tips. If you're dating someone then is feeling thad one. Don't take it personally if your partner had a broken leg and didn't want to go out dancing. It wouldn't hurt your feelings and depression is like that too while we really take somebody down. It may look like people are simply turning down time with you or sex with you. When the truth is they just literally can't do it do understand what depression feels like. It's like an energy sucking flu. Okay let says that. They literally can include exhaustion. Brain fog dysfunction dysfunction increased sensitivity to pain and overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame. It feels almost like a weight. Like and i'll tell you the way that people try to like. Tell me that. I can just get out of this. Like only got eighty five. It's so annoying right like this. This is why. I don't wanna fuck concern right now or do anything else because i just want to be sad and i want you to shut the fuck up and stopped trying and tell me everything's gonna be okay. I know i'll be okay. Allergy to fucking. Tell me to get over it like when you're dismissive about it's really difficult and you kind of just let let people go through their shit. Also a great one says. Don't try to fix it. Appoint that keeps coming up in. Research was the hurt and frustration. People feel when other people are trying to fix the depression them. A woman says that her husband was depressed and she grew up thinking. You couldn't just stop. You could just stop feeling sad. And she thought she was helping with her upbeat encouragements but it was awful. Also do know your spoons in rings. This one was cool. I like damn you want. Do you want your pump written. I know you're pompous here somewhere. There isn't even an active pump. This work for you start back up. Smoking is martin. Mayfair just like look at her too. So i could cut to that l. Perfect while once again says that's why it just makes it a smoother cut black. Do know your spoons and rings so spoon theory you use a set of spoons to represent the limited physical mental and emotional resources that someone suffering from depression may have some days. Taking a shower could use several spoons. It's basically a language to help you relate to your partner. Teaching my wife about spoons helped her understand that. I wasn't trying to avoid doing stuff. I was actually tapped out. Ring theory draws series of circles with your partner conseco centric concentric is a weird word anyway and at the center the nearest circle to them holds you and perhaps their family and then the next one is so on so the ring is central you provide support to people in a ring smaller than you and you only complain to people in bigger rings than you which i actually really like because for example. If you've got kids or like you know how you have a bad boss and they're like yelling at you about every little thing like you can't be putting the shit on me. This is yo shit like filter it through a really bad manager when a manager is like telling bad boss feels like oh maybe more. It's fucked up because like even that. Got me a little bit depressed recently. I was maybe venting a month or two ago to editor. Dave and i was like i don't know what to do. What are we supposed to do. I don't understand what we're supposed to do. Who's supposed to figure this shit up. Are we supposed to do this this that. And it's like. Oh my god am i bad fucking boss because like i don't know how to do shit like there's no fucking hr here. I've only worked for major companies. I don't know the puck to do and that's a lot of pressure to when you want to make sure people are happy. I have no idea. No one's really called out of work ever hear. This is fucking insane. I call out of work so much. I'm no wonder they were tired of me. Like i was just like. I'm not coming but also there's hundreds of people that work in the company like can you imagine like being depressed and having to come to work. Yes i would be like so it's not a smoke break. I'm going downstairs to cry. I'll be back. I would literally leave out the office for a breather. Accounting was probably especially. The big four bike was probably the most depressing job i had. I mean everything else you know it was different and new york that fucking when you go into work and it's dark and you leave leave. Yes while dash. It was so for. No one knows the fuck we're talking about which people in l. a. love to tell me when i tell them it sucks but the weather betcha still sucks. You can't get good food here. You got a fucking drive everywhere. The people are weird. It sucks now. There's some good food in la tacos and could to get mexican food in la. I'm gonna blow my brains out. Goes go get the obama anyway. Alabama to literally just channel which is okay so shit where we depressed depressed for people who don't live in new york yes. The sun comes up around in the wintertime. What is at seven thirty. Yeah elbow late clock. Yeah and then it goes down for me a shout out to chris. My anyone really following me for a minute. My work husband remember him. Very sweet guy shit. He's a reason. I even asked me to do a podcast. I was on his park. Casper's i'll never forget this moment where we were so sad of the office. And he's a happy guy and we walked outside and there is this patch of sun on the corner of thirty third and park and you had to go in middle of the medium because you know the buildings blocked the sun and we sat there in this fucking shit and i remember thinking. Oh my god. This is depressing. I'm in the median in the middle of the road because the only place the sun went and we gotta look at it. Oh nigga oh my god if delta fucking really hits us this year all of the billionaires need to get together and fly to teens island and give reparations now i mean they should just give a sign apparently making rain like they are here create in like. I told you i feel like all right. This is me getting it clearly. I've been watching a lot of lines ago. Spiritual let me tell you what they really be doing right. And i feel like they do in this now. Well clerk making minimum. They want us to be in the house with his kovic. Shit right like by the way. If you think. I'm crazy look it up there literally doing it right now in do by the government is creating brains to cool down because it's been so fucking out there so guess what new york they knew was about to be outside right. Listen this week. There was only supposed to be rain on saturday. There has literally been storms in the afternoon and at night. Tell them bitches get your west back in the house. And i think the government made the rain come down because out of nowhere bitch if ninety seven is hot as this week next thing you know it's like a poem bone lightning and then a whole bunch of mother fucking rain and now you know what dan. I won't even ready for this. I even got an umbrella. Let me take my mother fucking asshole. What was that news lady. This they come out. What i'm saying is the governor charlie. If ask him for sun bro. The billionaires can just make us the mold sunlight if they make it rain they probably be making a snow too. They can make some more fucking light cox. You may know me from oranges to new black disclosure. My hope it's at people. Listening to the laverne cox show gain new perspectives. That will inspire them to live differently. They're all of these things that we just accept as natural normal and inevitable. But they're not listened to the laverne cox show and the iheartradio app apple. Podcasts over ever you get your podcast. Don't yuck somebody else's yum make sure you subscribe. And hey everybody scott and i am lease to introduce you to j. dot il. The podcast has. I am joined by amazing. Brilliant girlfriend's lying saint claims what up doe and age a great dance like. Hey all we are going to be talking about a lot of amazing things like individuality family and black. Listen when you're on your long drive home listen when you were shopping at the grocery store but listen listen to jay data ill the podcast on the i heart. Radio app apple podcasts. Or wherever you get our shout. My friend who are almost went to see in mexico. But i was depressed. His names tyson love. tyson's name is al qaeda seeking. Give us some sun tyson when he comes to new york but he's not probably not going to get on the plane because they'll have to wear masks but a while he is very very very smart but when when i was living in mexico first of all we only make the only other black person of party oh sure that make any breath taxing. We like and we became great friends with them. I used to say he was crazy and last week. He sent me that article and he goes. You remember when you were laughing at me about them making rain. so basically you're talking about the dubai article right Broke he told me all last year that we're into loom because it would rain on one side of the street he was like. Oh this isn't real rain blah blah blah and mind you. I'm already highs enjoying like like we're gonna juggle of bugah but nocco front. He was starting to scare me dog now. He wasn't one of them. They gonna put a chip in new people with. He's fairly anti-massacre. Well here he. I think he wears it to the grocery stores and stuff but he was talking about like toxins. Go back in your body. He's like vegan. He went on a water divers one hundred as like. He's one of those people but basically he was talking about the generating machines of like weather and should israel broke the one reason. I think he's very interesting is because he believes in god. And you know people to get like super fucking crazy shit. Whenever he talks about god. I'll be like but nigga. Don't you think this going on why he believes in god because you know it's either science religion right. I don't believe in either. Okay well you do it. I don't clearly day. I hear create rain bitch. We blueprints not if i knew you know like because they had to make rain here thing you don't you know you know audibly neither of them shits and i'll break it down for you right now because people be lying and both of them things really come from people people tell you what sites and people tell you about this story that they wrote in the bible and it's been changed because it's like the telephone game any mother funkaway by and they definitely had the weather machines with jesus from people and people be lying. You can't trust them. And so science is really the government and religion is because they gotta tell you to believe some shit otherwise now we all like well what we here for. We are marin depressed. And he's been thaddeus. Did me clip of mandy fe. Is this show co host. What i do what i say. Oh about the dome being in the art the is really a dome to is not really flat but in adult down no the myth which makes here we go bitch. I ain't gonna hold you if i become a zombie. I want to go out one them niggers anyway. Because i know y'all care about this guy them back. I got it because guess what in new york we just became able to eat inside and i looked at all of my friends and i said listen. I realized how much. I like to eat in restaurants bitch like when it gets in my house is different. This is the most fell things like gets here. Only got the stock because they come into restaurants. We're blending fucking four. okay. I wanted to be able to go tour on pair when i did that being in. Dc i was so fucking sick i had seen fucking kobe us all negative but i was like. Oh wow like you really touch them. People really puts you at risk. But i just wanted to say when i saw the cuomo things or was it. Cuomo or de blasio. Whatever the blasio. I o bitchy scared me. When writing day back why would they get back. Just eat the problem. Because here's the thing we're gonna be you're gonna have you think i'm going to have catch stake in a box. I don't like being told at the end of the day. Judge bits. I got it. Did you know so to pursue. i'm saving lives. And i'm being moment. What a year really want. I really want the johnson and johnson shot. And let me tell you don l. Rollin said this joke. I took my mom to go see him. Mother's day loved on now and he goes. You know how black people talk to you when you tell me vaccinated we. Yeah i got this like you know. I got it maybe like. Oh that's good. Which when you get house like yo is so fucking true. You know they don't even none of my white friends say anything like that. Everybody i know that black is just like you know when you can't get yes i do but i feel like it was just six of them. They got my only six and to be fair. I got pregnant but you ready to pull out a lot. who knows. maybe i'll get you really want to play with is here. But here's the thing it'd be lying to because apparently the cdc only got a report like a certain number so it's probably really liked ten time there again. See you can't trust people you still got it. You said what you still got the vaccine. I ain't get the johnson and johnson i. They didn't even offer it. Offer you the firearm madonna moving to choose madonna. And i ain't gonna hold you a bitch arm omar's god and then i had sex the next day like the person i had sex with. Ain't really vaccine so my arm was hurting so bad i just had the mall and make it seem like he was hurt marcucci but he was my arm back but i didn't want to like ruined the moment and be like that's where i got my shot. I just had to be like oh you had to move the position. Because i couldn't in the middle of sex be like. Oh that's worrying. Got my shot. Who don't really wanna really get told you that the earth is a dome now. I watched it on youtube the whole video in if like flight times there's pilots that are like yeah man and then you know we ain't even really go back. They talk about weed. They can't get the coordinates of the moon. No more bitch. There's coordinates where i walk on my phone. You tell him to do more with our phone. The nasa can to get us back to the mu. They'd be lying rometty get outta here life. I want i need you to tell us what the fuck you're saying. Also think there are no dome like we walk on the flat part but part is the dome like when you mercedes' like we're kind living right now. He's been ever seen a picture like this is one thing though. Here's the thing only the pressure with the picture of what the earth. So there's a video note that actually jason same so the clouds are the same. It's always the same picture of the earth is not even the same yemen. That's all photoshop. Now sorta got y'all i want gawking. We are locked in a contract with the black. I heart radio star. Who was here humanly. Watch listen to people's they try these settlements where he'd be like We really gets it. No youtube videos show me just type in earth. Don't really quick at please for the love of god and science. Look see. look how that's gonna that's really what the earth doing the earth looks like this bitch. Are you out of your fucking mind. You think the earth looks like this for people. Snow globe people l. s. You earth looks like this okay. Y'all let me know would look like when y'all go out until y'all go out of space. I ain't listened in the actually the sun in the glass. Would you go to spain. This goddamn which was crazy. I actually want to be a astronaut. You wanna be an astronaut. But then you know. I'm from orlando. So so actually what i from orlando because that used to be a thing. We've sonic booms. We see the spaceship. Go up in the air because kennedy space center right there. And i was like oh mommy i want to be a astronaut and then we washed one. Spaceship go up and bitches blue. Didn't that i. It was nine seven thousand nine hundred ninety seven and this and we used to always watch them to literally for christmas. My mom used to by the astronaut food. Because i was going to be asking thousand. Let me get used to this shit. Now for the record anyone who's listening to us from orlando or like that doesn't live in orlando. this is a real thing the real thing. Even though you could hear you can see it like you do it as school like shit. We did like you. We all knew nasa schedule when spaceships testers and all this shit was going up damn space. And so yeah. I watched the ship blow up. I said nah. Brian going to be no astronaut. Nothing and when you know you and it's a podcast for you because now it's literally my job to get them about my bosses like this. You call me one day and be like we're going to do beyond say and we what's behind. Vodkas can be like where he just wanted to the bit. Biggest invest mandy needs a podcast where she debunks science nor do it. You're welcome to do it. I want ten percent film in the studio for free. I want the ad revenue just ten percent. Like it's not all. I gotta bring other conspiracy theories on so that we have really intellectual conversation. Quit people are going to get really mad at you the way that you really look at me when i really be talking. I hear you about this. We gotta anti accident come on and figure out how to take it out of indy's arm the metal. Remember that guy like you said it was called butterfly something and it was like blood play. Cu in orlando marsh needle. How'd you just play. no. I don't know she folks on her periods. This should help. Anyway we go. This is ridiculous every time we do so episode against all over the place because you did the outline and you don't wanna stick to your outline. We'll gets older. We just get two segments. Today she went from just to catch now. No one had mcdonald at ten. Am you got you got really thank you. I ain't gonna eat that burger. God vaccine which you just ate at mcdonalds burger bitch. That's nastiest and i just looked at the johnson and johnson. I'm not scared okay. Clearly anyway guys check out on patriots dot com slash horrible decisions. If you start just. It doesn't come up. Because i think we're sluts in the band. The eighteen eighteen plus five major of blacks on patriots. You're really not gonna come up so it's patriots dot com slash horrible decisions. Also stay tuned. Follow with from social media. We will be back soon but if not follow us on our instagram at horrible underscore decisions Keep up because we got dolled coming so by the way meal. We the ship and we didn't want to compete with each other. 'cause we were like i bet you more than you know i'm a somewhere and you and we just thought it would just add us suspending more money on counseling. So now you can get together and you know what you just put like. This bitch picked the company. And that's why her side looks better than mine. My braids look like curly. Sue out the these arrows gold. She set us up but no the problem is bro. You don't like any of your animated anything. That's really the problem. We've gone through about five different animators. We the shit. So we didn't pay animations that we just don't use. Is there anything you like kind of emphasized that you don't want she wanted to look real so for that. We may as well just take a picture. She doesn't look like me at all bitch at the cartoon food anyways guys were leaving you off with a five minute bonus nothing. This has been yet another episode of my one of icebreakers. If you got married tomorrow would you be okay with any of your friends. Fucking any of your exits. I feel like when i'm into somebody. And i'm like minute i don't care that's me too and twenty because The character in the show. She gets married in finds out her best friend. Those guy is fucking the man that she was previously a love with. Now i'm not gonna hold you. I i was like bra. Is your ex that a lot but as the fucking movie get on and find out. This is a negative. Cheetan had a miscarriage within moved in with. I was like not that friend. Cross the fucking line went way too. Far like bro. They were about to have a family together. That will hear that was too much but then we were talking about it. Because i watched it with any house like nigga because once we started realizing that you know she was pregnant. Then they said eight years went by wasn't at the timeframe eight years eight years so for example the older i get the more i realize people circle back and i don't mean lovers i mean friends. I go to little sister a lot. It's a club underneath the moxie dude. They used to work in manage towel. That i keep seeing their runs the door and i'm looking at him and i'm like why do i know you and i'm like oh my god used to work in orlando at fucking not cairo. What was it called not here. What was the name of it and your friend worked there in danny owned it. What the fuck was that relied. Bane i was like wow then i feel like i know you from somewhere else. Used to fuck my homegirl. He was super q. I was brianna that night. And i was like damn he was feeling rhonda reno's looking in and like well. This just all came back around and we're in a whole nother city right. This person somehow back by life. And i see them every few weekends. Now if i'm eight years later in the game and realize i remember nigga kosovo and so used to fucking matter of fact. There's a basketball player. That i just saw the played for the orlando magic. His name is kyle o. Quinn don't care the name. Because i don't know if he's still play ball here in new york so a girl i used to live with them and was fucking and only remembered him because when i was fucking with scissors back then scissors was like oh we would come out. And he would look and she pissed like. What's the fuck. Is he doing because he realized and lesbians through hamad fucking biggies. Like what do i know this nigga. And he's looking at me like he knows me. I was like yeah. I don't know how i know you. But i feel like i really know you and we looking at each other. And he's like. Did you used to live in florida nigga. When i realized once he said that he was. I couldn't even tell them who i was. I was like oh my god. I'm the roommate of the girl who was what anyway was saying man. I just didn't feel he what people was like. I don't feel like reminding zano who he this you know and then i'm just like you used to fuck my roommate remember. I was lesbian. Oh my god. So but here's the thing. What if i saw him out recycled found out that you know what i mean like. I don't know. I just feel like people surfaced back and eight years in the game and you're happy with a white picket fence. Two kids and a gorgeous husband like an ambitious still out here single in new york accuracy. Right you might reveal away but malan shelly. I thought the vanilla shit actually comes from. Newsweek and was crazy is the scene. That was he was referencing in. The beginning of this episode has has been one of the most widely talked about scenes on netflix film. Because a dick is actually showed a full-frontal in yes it was a big size so it's crazy regulation as to whether there was any editing done to the dick for that. It was his real dick pitch so Sex life n- is netflix sexually explicit drama that viewers are devouring around the world. But it is not a sexy that has most people heading to to find out in episode. Three of the popular netflix series. We are in the shower with brad. Who is played by adam demos when the camera lingers on his gigantic peanuts in appendage that might even boogie nights dirk dig a little inadequate and the department searched on. The netflix film has been dominated by the scene with the majority of inquiries. Making the first question that jumps. This week's episode is brought to you by love honey and like horrible decisions. Love is on a mission to lead the world's pursuit of sexual happiness. So you can discover a happier. You love honey has all types of sex toys in lingerie. Y'all know how important we say it is to bring those things into the bedroom. We are given the horrible decisions listeners. Fifteen percent off goto love honey dot com using our promo code horrible at checkout. That's w. h. r. e. i. Be on top of fifteen percent off you get free returns and breach shipping orders over forty nine dollars. That's love hunting dot com promo code barbara or fifteen percent. Get ready to laugh and learn. I'm nick smith flame in a row. I am itchy week. He cast a check. She makes the money we spend laugh. And learn as a weekly podcast bringing you the latest headlines keeping you politically informed mixed in with the little pop culture. You never know what you're going to hear. Subscribe and listen to laugh and learn on the iheartradio app or apple podcasts. Or wherever you listen podcast.