3 Burst results for "Malley Hamda"

"malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

06:32 min | 3 months ago

"malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Welcome to keith. And the girl. I'm keith malley hamda. Fda has full approval of the pfizer. Vaccine okay you wear liars. You can get it now but it wasn't that anyway but you can get it now. It's got to be a big deal right. we'll see. Yeah yeah we will see. We actually can say we'll see and you know what while you're there grab a pack of cigarettes that's fda approved and we can all party with all the fun things that the fda has allowed the universe. Thank you fda. The so important. I was waiting for the approval. But what if you know these weirdoes. They're the people that on election day aren't shy about going. I'm still undecided. What else can you give me a habit. You get shot. We give you one hundred dollars. Maybe i'm interested abbey everything that's going to be everything. Okay i'll do it well or now you're more suspect is now. You're trying to pay me to do it right. So how do i trust that. Sure just keith. Today with you okay. So we're going to get into some. We're going to get into some real shit. Hey how about that. Hurricane did you. You didn't get it too bad. I guess right. No and just the thing i feel like i should have been more nervous about I know he's got an alert on his phone. Saying and it showed the region on the map. It showed us like this is where it's going to be destroying everything in lake. Should we be packing something and You know we have a gazebo in the back. Like is that gonna fly away like. It's the wizard vase or something and it was bad rains. There is a free concert in central park and it was supposed to get vaccinated if you were vaccinated you. Could you could attend this concert. Bruce springsteen elvis costello paul simon you know all the kids are talking about these three nowadays. Paul simon you know you're is not going to this concert at night was caused elo. Yes twenty five year. Old elvis costello will be there when they you're like is going to be a super spreader event. Don't worry is in the middle of a hurricane. There were no problems. They had to cancel it. Okay maybe they canceled because they realize it's too late for the demographic right. i wonder. I wonder if that's availability. Which is probably more likely or is it. That's the demographic that's to give vaccined. Maybe it is it the is it. The newer people with the older people in the inbetween are just like we realize life is just the next thing. So let's get the next thing. I don't know chad. Hayes is beautifully young. i don't know i don't know I'm getting a lot of emails about how lover is not a gird. Good word for somebody you actually love. Isn't that interesting. It's such a wonderful word when you think about it. I'm calling you my lover. The person i love the person. I make love to the person who i shoot my love towards and it's just disgusting and filthy. Who do we blame. I shoot my love towards her all the time all over her. And if that's not love her she tweeted out. Send me she actually. This really happened kyle. you can follow on at o. Cossio kyle quote. Send me a dick pic. Haven't gotten one in a while. I actually got that accidentally sent to assembled personal training. Client not my boyfriend. This'll be an awkward session now. First of all more important than any of this who sends the picks lovers something would say. Send me a dick pic. You're so mistaken. That's so funny. Okay everything you just said about. The word lover explained to me why we're not saying that word anymore. Every time you defined it or said where you're gonna put it unlike yup not still not using that word. That word is just going to have to fall on the side for awhile. It said i wanna love our. Yep that's the tone. I really thought about it. I asked cirque sees. And he's given commie that i prefer not i prefer not either. And it's such a lovely word follow keith. And the girl of course on social media we're under everything with With keith girl and we say make sure you hit like i hope you understand. It's not really. I could see me a person like me out there being like a forty seven years old. You need me to tap your head and go. I liked it. I like you. Are you gonna make it through the day today. Now when you hit like it it shows whatever you just liked to more people. Also it shows you more of the same type of thing. So you're getting more of what you legitimately like. That's why the lakes are important. I don't know if we just look like sad. People like the day please you today let us know we pleased you today for you and to spread the word in general. That's why that's important anyway. I saw on twitter. Somebody's guy. Ed he wrote make eric. Andre the comedian the jeopardy host the prank. Oh and i said you know what i agree but eric andre has to take it seriously so he can smirk accidentally but once he forces a smirk for laughs as head explodes. What do you think of that. I like it. Did you also see the one where I think it was Anthony vito or joe devito factor too many of you out there for the devito's it's the family. The family did really good week and they tweeted Let let oj be the host. He knows about job double jeopardy okay and then and then somebody responded saying at least at least let him give it a stab and the devito family wrote killer. Yeah that sounds like joe for short. New movie is out that i loved and do not recommend now that i'm wondering what words are called the produce today. I like this category. And i think it should be a category on netflix. Or something like a different light button. I liked. But i don't recommend i think that tells the whole story right. Michael keaton who. I love and i can't tell you why michael kina kurt russell are are the poison of music. They're not the best but they're the best.

fda keith malley hamda keith paul simon elvis costello Cossio kyle pfizer Fda Bruce springsteen Hurricane keith girl hurricane Hayes kyle cirque eric andre Anthony vito joe devito devito
"malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

08:52 min | 4 months ago

"malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Home what keith. And the girl. I'm keith malley hamda. Thank you everyone for coming to silent trailers. Thanks for playing along on saturday. It was so much fun as always. We love the contestants that we have on silent trailers. No matter how much they cheated this time so make sure you reach out and say hello to them. How do you say a lotta guests on the show. You like. What other posts on social media. How do you become best friends with them. You like it and comment studies with these people. You can find all silent trailers and keith negro guests on our social media. Our profile name is keith. And the girl across all platforms right. That easy can the. How are you today great. It was a fun silent trailers. I always feel bad when you I'm not gonna say lose. I'm going to say don't win but i think It's fun because afterwards we go in the chat sometimes and then there's always one person who really does seem like they cheated. Yes and weird. I like on the audience can tell it feels good but two losses a loss. You're gonna do where you're gonna do. But i'm feeling good today except i'm starving because i kind of forgot to eat then guard. I don't normally do this. But i have a little time before the show. I'm gonna order mcdonald's. Because last night i was at my girlfriend's place. I'm in queens. She's in manhattan the mcdonald's because they're everywhere ended up being picked up by her place the liver to her place so what happened. Was the thirteen year old. Who happens to be at home. Mcdonald's mom was away and went. Okay i guess. I have mcdonalds now. What a life and that'd be on your own at eighteen and not knowing how anything works did you. Did you eat. Mcdonald's just came as mcdonald's was it the eighteen year old does the thirteen year old thirteen-year-old. Okay right here's what's the matter. The age putt. I have something that that can save the day. No i just think this is so hilarious because keep his like you know. I forgot to eat. So i was desperate. That's the only reason i would. Yeah and also. I would like everybody to notice that He goes. how are you come to an. He's asking me how i am. And then he pretended like i asked him how he was. Let me tell you how i am. Here's my mcdonald's story come down. I'm starved and dizzy account. I apologize going through a thing. Let's introduce today's guest right. He's been featured on sirius. Xm tv the onion ifc is books are titled never flirt with puppy killers and other better book titles. I assume that's my cement how to read. I like that. Fake your way through literature then wilbur. How you doing dan i. I'm doing great. Thanks for having me. Good the see siding. I- your standards. Very funny i want story. That's pop it in my head is when you you're in ohio in move into the From the suburbs. To the main city of cleveland and the ver- very how old were you when you guys most when you're thirteen thirteenth thirteen. Somebody tried to break into your back door the very first day they go out there because you know they don't know any better. Let's see what's going on out here. They see somebody with it sounded like a crowbar trying to break in. And what is the Guy do when he sees your face he. He pretended while he reaches into his pocket. Which is very scary right. You know i. I set up the suspense very well. I mean you did a great job setting up the story. you're in cleveland. There's a guy i'm not. No this is great i. He reaches into his pocket. My dad and i are like what's about to happen any why. Why are you standing there watching edits as if the popcorn in your hand. This makes horror movies true for white people that's terrifying terrifying sound and there's blood losing out of our walls. Let's go check it out. Yeah that's exactly what we did. And i think what what they get right and movies. Is that what you actually think is that well. Nothing bad's going to happen if i go and insert myself into the situation and calm everything down. I'll be the hero. I'll walk in there and reason with this ghost until they disappear even though i don't know anything about that's what you're talking about like a horror movie right less. Yes so my dad. And i not used to. The city just walked out the front door and walked around to the back door to sneak up on him to. Also you know. We don't need to call the police and we don't need to get the authorities involved. The door was locked first of all so we. That's one point in our favor. We didn't just leave the door for giving points for now. Okay clark i point. Hey this is great. Yeah i'm just saying you know. I feel like in the imagination. Ohio is is a safe place with the unlock doors. So so guy cleveland. What's this guy. Put his hand into puts his hand into his jacket and he pulls out his hands as if pretending to have a cell phone doing like the little thumb up ping all now i'm and pinkie out fully. Because because what year is this. He's doing an old school phoned old school phone. Yeah i'm suddenly. He's miming that he's tied into the cord. Like this is yes and in fact. Anybody who's taken any improv class knows that you're not supposed to do that. You're supposed to pick it up like you're holding the phone. He would just be your fist. You laugh at it. Like what. Is that a cell phone i said you know. Where did you do your object work sir. What summer stock have you done. And then i asked for his resume. I was very very. I was in the in the hollywood scene already in. Cleveland does a thirteen year old boy and he pretended to have he pretended to have a cell phone and he said dude. I think i'm at the wrong house. hand he had some. You know you had a sticker. So i mean wasn't like i don't think he thought this through. He was like jiggling the handle. He was trying to. Brian open with something that he found. He told me to break into your house. But i think at the wrong exactly and and so yes and then the joke is that i you know. Where is that that crime movie. Where's that episode of the wire where they're like someone catches you breaking into a house. Just grab a rope sliding no sense on. Radio and mime. Mime your way out. Did you guys standing. Let him work. Did you think about pulling a fake guns. I thought about it. I thought about saying freeze buddy and then fake. Yeah yeah and then if any trouble started just blow up a balloon and you know and then magically has helium in it and you float away in case of danger. These are things that mimes would do in case. You're listening to this and you're like why doesn't this make any sense. What time goes by comeback. Because you come back with an idea much later but yeah those were the good ideas what what actually did happen did did he acknowledge you. All my dad died. He did for that. A real gun shop. I can't believe i buried the lead. I i wanna tell everyone a story. Nothing bad happens. That's where i wanna start What happened was. I don't know if this is in the clip is. He tried to break into our neighbors house. So it's actually really funny is that we didn't call the police we just said. Hey buddy hit the bricks you know. Why don't you scandal. Did you say hey buddy. Hit the bricks. I didn't because i'm not. Who said what happened. Legit from what i remember. 'cause i ran the story about my dad because my wife asked me if it was true and and then we did I did the whole act out in front of my dad and he was like. This is exactly what happened. I said i think he just said hey. You are in the wrong you know. He got the dad voice out he was like. Yeah you betcha you are in the wrong. This is the wrong house..

keith malley hamda mcdonald keith negro keith Mcdonald cleveland mcdonalds queens wilbur manhattan dan ohio clark Ohio Cleveland hollywood Brian
"malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

03:50 min | 3 years ago

"malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Hey. Welcome to Keith. And the girl I'm Keith Malley Hamda. We just of course, had Super Bowl fifty three. I boycotted it. So nothing to talk about they're doing. I'm gave you your Super Bowl. Party was good. Are we not allowed to mention it? Because you lost. I was watching with the blindfold on like bird box. I'm telling you. Support capper neck. I don't support the treatment of these players. I don't support. I mean, it's black history month, and we're sitting there watching football. I don't sport bad calls by wraps. I can't be complicit here announced that you're a very good person. Thank you know. Thanks to football. All right. We'll get to it. But first, let me tell you this. I was on the phone with my parents over the weekend for quite a while over two hours easily, and I hope that one day, you know, parallel. I'd learn something we'll parents need to hear this kind of talk. Because at some point we were all kids, and then some people have kids, and then they become the parent. And then they do the same shitty things. Just wanna listen to Keats wording of this. Like, it's a big event. I was on the phone with my parents texting. And it's always, you know, clocked in the first thing you do after you get off the phone with them is look at the time. Right. And then you announce it like, hey, look, we didn't kill each other through the phone. I assume will I? We didn't coach either and to be on the phone for over two hours. And I'd say at least two and a half in fact, and that's long if you're on the phone with anybody that just means as a stand up comedian, I have two and a half hours of material because there's no real talking of any kind. It turns into skin bits right to keep their attention. Now. Funny because I think around in January February use should always give a call to your parents. Because that's when you're writing for your April show, right? No. It got a little God little Deepa times where I'm like, you know, what here's some questions. I don't know why I'm not asking. Like who was the alcoholic and our family? Was it? Everybody was everybody wasn't it. Well, it it's kind of hard to get an answer. Because then it's like, well, son, my son my father. He would he would partake a little too much. Like was he abusive know until you know, that's that's not like a firm. No. That's not a no, let's say you're asking your daughter who's nine did your uncle touch. You. Not the way you mean. I'll be like let's go with the way you me. Yeah. Let's find something anything then. We'll try to figure it out. So I don't know. I love these puzzle pieces. Yeah. It's somewhere. The parents are great grandparents and only one person like they they wouldn't really say. But I did get did both your mom and dad chime in a little bit about your mom's history with alcohol as she said. There was no what are you know? Are you serious ride to me what you say who was in front of me and the boys? I Mark was there. I think Mike was there, and you were there, and she was crying, and you all did not handle it would even okay out of nowhere. We were sitting in the living room of your parents home. She started talking into I think because we wanted to throw a party at your parents house, and they were really adamant about no booze show. She went into like, why her father drank? And when he drank he became like, an actual asshole. And did something like lock. Mother out of the house because we sell like belligerent like she would. I didn't ask did anybody lock anybody out of a half more specifically abuse. Yeah. Bring your female energy outright because he used to just like one time you guys left me alone with her. And I'm like who you're saying the whole bunch shit. Am I allowed to know this like she would just say how she felt about like marrying your dad, and like, you know, just what she thought about when they first got married and later and having kids, and I'm like, are you.

Keith Malley Hamda football Keats Deepa Mike Mark two hours one day