1 Episode results for "Liz Burke"
Ep. 300: Very Special Episode 300: Ask Us Anything!
"If you're anything like us in the past few months your family has done a lot more talking. Because they're just spending more time hanging out together and elizabeth. We're very excited. Because pretty soon elisa is gonna come back and be back at home with us and it'll be great to have someone who to talk to and also she's a senior so she starting to talk constantly about what she going to do when she graduates. So i know we're going to have a lot of conversations about that and it'll be nice to have something to talk about because we're talking to each other so much all the time now. We are covering so many topics and all of our households but despite how talkative we all are the people at lincoln financial wanna point out that the one conversation that most people still haven't had your financial plans so find time to talk to your loved ones about it because the more we talk the better. We plan protect and retire. That's why lincoln financial is here to help you get the right questions to start your conversation at lincoln. Financial dot com. Hello and welcome to happier. A podcast about how to be happier healthier more productive and more creative. This week is very special episode. Number three hundred. Hey so as we did for episodes one hundred and two hundred. We'll be answering listeners. Questions in an ask us anything episode. I'm gretchen rubin writer who studies happiness good habits and human nature. I'm in new york city and joining me. Today is my sister. Elizabeth craft and elizabeth hard to believe that we have done this three hundred times. That's me. Elizabeth craft tv writer and producer living in la and yes scratched three hundred episodes. We have never missed a week. And we've never repeated an episode. We're very proud of ourselves very vanity. We do. I always say it's like having a child like i cannot remember. Life before happier with gretchen rubin. It just feels like a blank whole yes. It feels like we've been doing it forever now before we get into all the great listener questions and listen. I am very much looking forward to hearing you talk about reality tv. I wonder tell everybody that registration is now open for my twelve month. Video course called the happiness project experience for two thousand twenty one. There's a flexible monthly calls with me a private community text message reminders. And a lot more. This is a tool that will help you. Identify the resolutions. That will bring more happiness to your life and then help you keep those resolutions. Go to gretchen. Rubin dot com slash t. h. p. and use the promo code happier to get twenty five dollars off. That's if you're ready to invest in your happiness health and wellbeing with a lot of other people who also want to grow connect and build a happier life said join today and also a reminder that if you're planning to give my books as gifts and you would like to have a personalized signed book plate. Please do send in the request as soon as possible. Because i wanna make sure i get it to you on time this is for. Us and canada. Only i'm sorry that's about mailing costs but let me know and i will put a link to that in the show notes and one more thing before we get to listener questions. Elizabeth let me ask you a question. How are you feeling about our cancelled trip to kansas city. Oh my gosh okay. So we were supposed to be in kansas city for this episode. We were going to tape it together and kansas city. Just two of us for a holiday gathering because obviously we haven't been able to see mom and dad and we planned it to be a little before the usual holiday season. We thought okay. We'll do this very safely small. We'll go head up the whenever the else's traveling yeah and then the cova numbers just got so bad that the four of us decided. This just isn't a good idea. We just have to cancel bringing together all these different households. Yeah just wasn't responsible. So i'm really sad but at the same time i know that i'd regret it more. We went something happened. Someone got sick. So i kind of feel at peace with that. I think we all do. I think there was a lot of anxiety about making the decision. And then it just got to a point where we're like. This is very clear to all of us. And then they're they're came kind of the resolution of this is the plan. I'm now we're gonna make the best of it. Yeah so hopefully next year. We will have a fantastic christmas all of us together next year's my year for kansas city. So anyway we'll see we'll see okay now preliminary questions okay. This one comes from diana she rates. I love how the two of you promote reading. Have you ever felt guilty about your love of reading. I have the day off today. And all i wanna do is reading gopher run but i'm fighting a part of myself that says there are so many other things i should be doing Well gretchen you read more than anybody i know. Do you ever feel guilty about your reading. You know it's funny. I almost feel like guilty. If i'm not reading. I think some people think oh actually get off the couch and start doing something else. I almost feel like why am i doing something else. I should be reading. So i don't i don't feel guilty about it and i do a lot of work reading right so sometimes i will say like oh. I shouldn't be reading a children's literature books. And i've read eight times before i should read walden by thorough. You know and that's kind of work reading so i don't really feel guilty about it. How about you elizabeth. I only feel guilty. And we've discussed this. If it's like i'm reading when i should be working you know and that is the point of anxiety one thing you always talk about scheduling time for things that are priority. Yeah so maybe if she took your advice scheduled five hours of reading for her day off then she wouldn't feel guilty about it because she's scheduled it. Yes and it was sort of in the plan. I think that's a great suggestion. It's a really good use of your time. Yeah i mean whenever you read you learn and you it builds empathy for other people you know and you become a better writer which is always a good thing. I'm all for it. Yeah you have our permission to read as much as you. Yes and whatever you want now listen. This is a question about how we were raised. Cain asks my husband. And i are both only children. We now have three kids nine years old six years old and eight month old one of my greatest which is for my children is that they will be dear fronts as adults. I know you have mentioned before that your parents help pay for you to visit one another when you were in college or starting out. What other things did your parents do to help build your relationships. We need tips. that's interesting yes in gretchen. We actually had a moment to ask mom and dad so we went straight to the source. Yeah and mom did think our age difference was a big factor because we weren't sort of in competition with each other at school. She said we didn't even have a lot of the same teacher. I sort of didn't want to do what you were doing. You didn't want to do it. I was doing so that sort of created a lack of conflict which was good but she also pointed out that when we were younger we weren't particularly interested in each other. We weren't mean to each other but we didn't take a lot of interest in each other which is a good good reminder that your children could not be so close when they're young and then when they're young older age gap vanishes than they could become quite close so that changes over time and then they also said that they thought of a lot of it was just who your kids are like. They have similar interests. You and i always had interesting. Conversations has gotten older. But it's like if i only cared about sports. Yeah i mean we wouldn't have that much con right you know. So it's it's part of it is just who your kids are so their advice was to not take it's so much on yourself right just let it be and what will be will be. Yes but i think one thing. They didn't mention so much. But i think we should give them a gold star is they never compare. They never say. Why can't you be more like elizabeth or will you know elizabeth did it this way or or or set us against each other in any way or like made a sort of fight for ford their attention or anything right. We both probably feel like we're the favorite child because they they really lavish the love on both of us. Yes okay jessica says has mentioned a few times how much she loves. The last seen a madman. Can she talk about. Why would love to hear tv. Writers take yesalis. Oh my god my favorite subject. Well let me first say what the end is for anyone who didn't see it. Okay spoiler alert. if you're like me see bad bad. I have watched this last seen list so much. But don draper. The main character has gone through sort of an existential crisis about his life and he ended up driving cross country and he ended up at. I forget what the real name of it is. Sort of a hippie famous hippie community in california and he checks in there and he goes to all these group sessions and he does yoga and he you think he's giving up his add life forever because now he's you know entering sort of that culture and then after decompressing at this place and meeting all these people. He's doing yoga on a cliff. And there's a long pause and then suddenly he smiles. I'm getting chills. As i. I am so. It's like a smile of realization recognition or like sad action real shatin and it cuts to a real life co. commercial. The one where people are standing outside and singing. I'd like to buy the world. A coke teach the world bank and you see in the commercial. What they did is they planted people at his community like they're girls with braids and then you see girls with braids and the ad and what i love about it. It's one it's like probably one of the most the most iconic atom all time you see how dawn's life is going to unfold and the life of everyone in his office like you know that this means he's not checking out he's now going to be the biggest person advertise and joan is going to produce his ads. And peggy is going to be president of whatever you know what i mean and you just see how it all came together and it's actually quite cynical ending in many ways because once an ad man always an ad man but i just thought it was so genius and i love that commercial so it just gives gave me i mean. I almost fainted. As i've said when i saw it i was like that blown away and i wanna watch the whole series just so that i can really appreciate and is a writer and she says as a tv writer. I'd like ending. Something is so hard. It's so hard and so the idea that there would be like such a perfect ending. It's just so satisfying. It makes me happy just to hear you talk about it. Okay sarah in portland. Oregon asks as an upholder and writer trying to establish my writing practice. I'm very interested in gretchen. Research and writing schedule. I know your workday must be very busy. I'm curious how you structure your day to actually get the research and writing and not. Let the distract him. Busy work getting away That's the problem. Also do you do your research first and then do a marathon writing session in which you put it all together to research right. How do you keep track of your sources. Do you use special software or word document. How do you know when it's time to stop researching and start writing. It feels like research could go on indefinitely. You always say that gretchen. Like you could just keep researching forever because yeah you can keep going and so you have to be able to shut that off the problem by agent calls the no note card left behind problem which is any fact than you've recorded you feel like you wanna work in because you don't wanna leave it on the cutting room floor in part of what you have to do is cut just a gigantic amount of what i actually right in. A draft is cut. Let alone the notes that i take. I do not use any fancy source software. Though i have friends who are like biographers and stuff who do really swear by software so if you have complicated bibliographic material you might investigate that. Because i think it can be really useful for tracking. I just do it very old school and that works for me. Given the way that. I use sources i tender research and after a certain point take a ton of notes and then i start trying to organize them and the organizing is how i start to write a book essentially like i start organizing organizing organizing my notes and then sort of imperceptibly i start drafting it into a book and then at a certain point. I'm like okay now. I have to like actually go through and did it all together so that i will keep researching like right now. I'm writing my book about the five senses. But i'm also continuing to research my book about the five senses and so when i find something that i want to put in i just slotted in in the right place plus i have a huge section called wear which is thinks that i don't know where they go yet and how to avoid the busy work. Well this is the million dollar question. I think for all of us because you could spend all day doing your email. I'm a real morning person. So i will typically try to work really hard on anything that's intellectually taxing early like say before ten and really focus on what's very very hard and then as my day goes on i try to make things easier and easier. I go because my mental capacities start to become more taxed. Guess you get up at six. Am seven days a week. I do and i love that time. Because that's when i can concentrate the best i feel like i can focus most. Yes absolutely. vanessa. Says i really appreciate how the happier podcast is. Concise and consistent in length and content. I wondered if you could tell me about your podcast preparation process. I've heard you mentioned having a conversation to plan out the podcast episode and then a recording time to script each episode by friend. And i are starting a podcast soon and we're wondering if we should write a script and how to plan out our episodes any help or resources you can suggest would be so appreciate it. Okay well we do plan it out and we also i should mention have sort of a policy of not chatting about random stuff death which we think everyone should have yes. Beware of banter on the podcast. Manifesto yes so we have a very. If you listen to podcasts. You probably hear how we have a very clear structure every week but try this at home. Every week we have and gold stars every hundred episode. We have to ask us anything. So we have a lot of structure and we try to make our structure very visible. Because we think that's good for listeners but also helps us when we're going through because we sort of know. Oh it's time for a better question. Let's let's figure out a cool interesting yourself better question so we'll talk about that. We were starting. We were much more scripted. If you listen to earlier episodes you can hear that probably now. We know what we're going to say in terms of. Oh you're going to that story about. Jack happen to manage the zoom problem that he had. Yeah but we won't write it out or practice it or anything. We'll just sort of talk about what we want to talk about so that we make sure that we have a lot of material to cover but keep it spontaneous and grudge you. Write a script outline. I guess we call it for each episode that we follow us to sort of keep us on track along with links like we mention an article or resource. We put. we'll. I'll put the links in there so we remember to mention them and then chuck read. Our executive producer. Also will cut out when we you know. Unnecessary stuff we say. And all of our gaffes. Yes so that's part of why it sounds hopefully professional. And then we do have some resources to mention grudge. Yes if you're interested in kind of the podcasting industry. We highly recommend the newsletter. Called pod by nick clock q. u. a. h. He is a guy that we worked with. Wave back at panoply starting out. He's a brilliant guy. He does really tremendously important analysis of what's going on in podcasting so if you want sort of follow it from the business side sign up for hot pod and then kristen minds are who is one of our first producers has great book called so you want to start a podcast finding your voice telling your story and building a community that will listen and you'll linked to that and so that's really if you wanna start up high. Read this book. One thing we really feel strongly about is that you need to be consistent. So don't started unless you're ready to be consistent because the way to build audiences consistency or it's one of the of the main ingredients death and listen to a lot of podcasts. Obviously because you'll see things that you think work or don't work like we happen to really like podcast segments of which is a reason why we wanted to have segments. Yes and good luck so exciting when someone starting allah podcast. We love more progress for all. And i will also link to our podcast manifesto kind of our aspirational for the podcast. Stick to it but we we always think about it. Coming up gretchen answers some four tendencies questions but i this break surge. There are those moments. When i am in bed very late at night and i should maybe be asleep but instead i am playing best scenes and can i tell you one thing i love about best fiends is that they have a leaderboard in. I happen to love. Leaderboard learned about myself. Because i like knowing how i'm doing. It's not just the fun characters it's also competition. Best means is the can't put it down mobile puzzle game that's free to download with more than one hundred million downloads. This five star rated mobile puzzle game is a must play and there are more levels events and challenges at it all the time. There's always one more level so if you're worried that you'll get to level three thousand two hundred eighty seven and ran out of funds. Don't be there's always another update whether it's more levels or fun. Changes to the game based on fan feedback download best fiends free today on the apple app store or google play. That's friends without the our best beans. The importance of feeling professional polished prepared when it counts right now for small business owners or people who produce their own podcast like us being plugged in and prepared when an opportunity comes up is crucial. Those moments happen all the time. They're happening now. And having a business card that shows how professional you are in your pocket ready to hand out is the first step to making something happen with vistaprint. You can choose whatever style finished shape or paper. You'd like anger free shipping for your business cards. You can pick the colors fonts designed to images you can create something as unique and compelling as your business. This apprent wants you to be able to own the now in any situation. Which is why our listeners will get free shipping on all business cards any style inequality just go to vistaprint dot com and enter promo code happier for free shipping on all business cards any style. Equality limited time offer own the now if vistaprint dot com promo code happier. Okay time for some four tendencies questions and remember if you do not know if you were an upholder a questioner and obliged or rebel as we're gonna talk about these questions. You can take the frequent quiz. Quiz gretchen rubin dot com and it will tell you what your tennessee isn't give you like a little re report so catherine asks i have noticed that a big pit bull being an obliged sir. Is that when it's time for me to move on regarding a particular approach to eating or exercisers spiritual practice the social bonds that i've created around my behaviors act as a barrier to me. Doing what's best for myself. For instance i practice martial arts for seven years but it when it was time for me to move on. The idea of telling people by doj was quite painful. I felt i was betraying them. It can be easier for me to stay in the group or longer than is good for me because i don't want to offend her betraying anyone. I'd love it if you could explore this well. This is a great example of an obliged wanting to meet those expectations. And why those experts hastens can really help you stay consistent when you want to pursue behavior. But then as catherine says it could get in your way if now you want to see says expectations and turn your attention. Elsewhere this year and a blazer. So yes i relate. I relate to this i definitely would feel guilty leaving as well and idea can often help with obliged is the idea that if i say yes to some people that means i have to say no to other people meaning. There's no way to say yes to everyone to decide who i want to say yes to. So if you're like. I'm really pulled toward this new yoga class. I really admire this teacher. I'm really excited to be part of this. If i'm going to say yes to that. I have to say no to something else and so sometimes that can help you balance it out and see that you just need to make the right decision based on the fact that all expectations cannot be that. Yeah and we actually talk about this in tomorrow's episode of hollywood grach episode one eighty four with michael melchior. Who's your friend and mine of the Career stewardship podcasts. He gives us a lot of tips about how to quit because people can have a problem quitting and you want to quit away where all your relationships stay good and one thing he points out. Is that people understand more than you might think that you want to leave something that it doesn't work for you anymore or you're ready for a change or a new challenge. And they're more they're more understanding. You might expect. Yeah and he was really talking about jobs. But i think it applies to anything you want to quit absolutely absolutely okay libby from charlotte ass. How can an upholder be a loser. Gretchen mentioned that a rebel can be successful. And an upholder can be a loser. I get a rebel being a success. But i can't wrap my mind around someone who meets inner and outer expectations being a loser. How can this happen. Are there examples. I love this question. Because i don't want us to call him a loser. Her understand what that means. So you can see. This can come up in two ways. One is you can. Just have a slacker upholder. I've met slacker upholders. Where like they do meet all internet and out our expectations for themselves but they just have very low expectations. Really ask anything of themselves. And they don't put them in a situation. Where very much is expected of them. So they're fulfilling everything but they just have an extremely low standard and that's pretty unusual. But i have seen that. So that's kind of slacker. Upholder probably how it comes up more is rigidity is when a you get someone who is so looking so carefully at the rules where they're looking at you know they cannot deviate from what they think is right or correct that it really trips them up or causes them to not be able to succeed not be able to move forward now available to work successfully with other people and if i think of like a famous example of this i would point to southern like barath. Ian in the game of thrones. Tv show status is an upholder. Reenact cars is an upholder. Of course they face off at the end to each other. But i think it's like he's so rigid he he doesn't even seem like he wants what he says he wants. He feels like he has to go for it. And so i think rigidity if you think about like the bureaucrat. Who if it's one minute late. Or if the i isn't dotted or you know where there's something that makes no difference but they can't let it go. I think that can cause that can make upholders making get in their own way and yes yes. They can become less successful than they would. Otherwise be well. That's interesting in lane. Says i've taken the portended exquisite. I'm in obliged sir. Do you have any tips or ideas. On how to hold myself accountable. I thought if i paid for something that would motivate me to do it. I'm thrifty so i don't like throwing many way. For example i signed up for the happiness project experience and read the book but i didn't follow through. I fell behind after just a few months. So i caught up but i didn't do all the work to get the benefit. I just needed to check off the boxes that i finished. I can't decide if this means. I don't really want to do what i think i wanna do. Or something else. I'm not on facebook. I don't think strangers in an online community would help to hold me accountable. Can you offer guidance So this is the thing obliged to have outer accountability. That's universal for obliges but what they respond to is very very different so like she talked about the happiness project experience. Yes you can join an online community and for many people find that incredibly helpful. Some obliges have to be accountable to actual people. They actually now. So then you would have to start a group taxed or make a group outside with people that you actually know elaine. Also mentioned paying for some obliges if they pay for something they are going to do it because they feel like that many really holds them accountable several villagers that almost makes them feel like they're off the hook kind. I paid my money like now. I've done what i need to do here. I don't actually have to follow through. So what i would say is. You're you're well on your way to understand it because you're understanding what doesn't work so that's very valuable so it seems clear that you need and you also sound like the kind of person who probably wouldn't be able to use the future self like elaine right now doesn't feel like doing this work but future elaine will really wish that she'd gone through the happiness project experience. That works for some obliges. But not others sounds to me like you need an actual person i have to say. That's what i keep thinking buddy. She needs a buddy buddy or even better a group like more than one so if one person gets distracted you still have the other person. This is a lot of time. So i people hire coaches because then there's somebody who's like paid to hold you accountable but you can also do with buddies and so i think it is to just keep trying until you find kind of accountability. That works for you. I would just say on the buddy though gretchen. Sometimes having only one person is better because they really need you mandarin. I text each other. About how many steps for doing each day. Yeah and it's like if it was a group texting. I wouldn't feel much of an obligation because i'd be like everyone else is doing it. I won't worry about it but since it's just the two of us yes it's like all we have is each other so i actually think one person can be better than a group well and this is the motto of the obliged. Sir which is you can count on me. And i'm counting on you to count on me so with two. It's like if you slack off. The other person will feel like they can slack off so you have to stick to it so that they'll stick to it because it's been very effective. The two of us excellent well. Good luck elaine. Finding that accountability. Okay listen this is a question for you. Eighty s. I have a question regarding the real housewives and reality. Tv in general. I've only watched nip of housewives the bachelor and other reality shows. I just don't get it. They seem to take themselves seriously. And all the hype around. The shows seemed to project that these women wake up looking. Glamorous bachelors and bachelorettes actually thinks. This is a good way to find a life partner in cetera. Or are they making fun of everything. I love a good juicy soap opera drama show. But we know that these are not true to this midwesterner. These reality stars come across astonished shallow. What am i missing. I love both happier podcasts. Well we're mid westerners to from casey so elizabeth speaking as a mid westerner who loves her reality. Tv what do you say housewives bachelor or in a very different categories. Okay we gotta get our now but let me just talk about the housewives. Because that's what i usually talk about on the show. The bachelor is just something that i find to be comforting because i watched it so long but i don't have as much of a need to watch the bachelor like it's very it's lower. It's i. I do watch all the but it's not. It doesn't give me the same thing that housewives give me okay so one thing that i love about the housewives. I don't think people talk about enough. Is that. It is the only place on television where women of a certain age are the stars of the show. And they're all anyone cares about. So you have women in their thirties. Forties fifties sixties starring in these shows. Getting all of the screen time their husbands are like who cares about them. Sometimes they show up. sometimes they don't. And i like seeing these women interact with each other. That's what interests me. some of. It is like amped up for the camera. Of course certain things are produced but they really are going through their lives. And i am just one of those people that loves observing people's lives so i am very interested. You know in these marriage issues that come up or or friendship issues and yes. Sometimes it's ridiculous but many of the women are also legitimately very funny. I mean uh shows are cast really well to feature women with strong opinions. Who are often buried. Funny and smart so i just enjoy watching them. But i have as. I've said it's not a guilty pleasure for me. It's just a pleasure. Yes for everybody but for me feeds my soul. I say you know some people love to hate the housewives. I just love the housewives. Not all of them but many of them. And there's a new franchise housewives of the real housewives of salt lake city which has a whole other dimension to it and so now i'm also adding that to my roster like you happier makes me. Oh it makes me happy grits. The housewives have gotten through this pandemic. And i have heard many people say the same thing. And it's gotten you on your treadmill desk king miles and miles and my ass doing the strategy of pairing with your house. Can we need them. Real housewives of encino. Yes you'll be one of the coming up. We're going to answer our rapid fire questions. I grudge. I think all of us. This year are just ready for the holidays. Starting the holidays like before halloween. We're already like playing christmas carols. And one of the best ways to get the holidays going is to give and receive hallmark holiday cards. Picking out a hallmark card. Gets you in the mood. And getting one is like the best and you can save it all season. You can make a display. It just makes you feel good. Hallmark holiday card is a great addition to a small gift to make it feel heartfelt and even more personal and hallmark has so many different holiday cards so you can really pick the one. That's just right for the mood. And the person they have fancy foil accents pop up papercraft. Funny you can find the one. That's perfect for everyone you care about and the message that you put in the hallmark holiday card is something that a person can go back to again and again. It's a physical representation of how much you care share more mary. This season visit hallmark dot com slash happier to shop wide variety of holiday kurds. Okay rapid fire from andrea from long island new york. This question is for gretchen. If i saw you at the net would it be okay to say hello or would you prefer to be left alone. I love when people say hello if you see me at the or if you see him in central park because i often walking central park please come up and say hello to me. I love to say hi to listeners. So please do say hello lisa from mccomb. Illinois asks from time to time gretchen mentioned. She has organized her. Recent photos into photo books gretchen. Would you please elaborate on your system for those of us. Who need help organizing photos. Do you have a favorite photo book. Service do design the books yourself or let the service do it for you. Okay so. I did not do much research when i did this. But i use shutter fly. And i have great luckless shutter fly. I do the thing where they autofill for you. But then i go through and move them around because sometimes like one will be huge which is not an important picture and i want a different one to be big and a different one to be small so i sort of fuss with it but i do the autofill so it can go pretty quickly. I handwrite the captions. That makes it much faster it's messier but it's faster than typing them in. I will say if you go to shudder fly. They typically have very deep discounts if you go to the homepage and look at the the ban the banner across the top. It'll say like fifty percent photo books today or something so always check the homepage there and if you are looking for holiday gifts you can make mugs. Water bottles ornaments lease blankets all kinds of stuff using photos. So i really do like shutter fly. And i think when photos are involved. We have to mention ambridge. Yeah favorite frame bridge. They are sponsored. This one this is not an ad they pay for. We just love their their their service. Because this is a way if you want to frame a photo again like holiday after whatever that makes it very very simple to do something. That sleep looks great with minimal effort. Minimal effort yes. Oh my friend sophie ass. Why does also go by liz. Because when i change schools fourth grade. I went to the sunset hill school. And there was another girl in the class named liz berkowitz and i don't remember lisburn us and i had always been elizabeth but everyone just started calling me. Liz craft and her. Liz burke and i have been liz ever since so our family though still caused elizabeth elizabeth. Yes and the funny thing. Is i always call elizabeth elizabeth on the podcast that all listeners referred to elizabeth as liz get that she's actually lives out in the world and how that happens. I think is a big mystery. Well i think it's partially because my instagram handle is atlas craft. Okay there you go there or they listen to happier in hollywood or they listen to lose their. You also have a couple of last names sending package. I'm like i hope. They know she could be going through like doing business as many many different than what. My monogram is always a question. My friends my mom friends referred to me as lc. Sarah says. i have a super random question for gretchen. Have you ever thought about getting lay sick or any other form of laser eye surgery. I know many people who have had great experiences with lay sick. I know culpable have not had a great experience delays. I am so so nearsighted so incredibly nearsighted that i would never do anything that could even potentially affect my eyesight so no i had one person described a smell to me and that was dealt for okay jeans says elizabeth does living in la. Worry you think about moving there and have many friends there. But when i read about fires. Earthquakes high temperatures and drought. I think maybe it's not a good idea. Yes gene i do worry about living in la. I remember my friend. Tisch lived in northern california. And they were all the fires. And i thought she was absolutely insane and now here i am living in california but i love it so much. It's also really where. I have to be for my job so well i do worry about it. I can't imagine leaving because it's kind of paradise with traffic and fires earthquakes and aside from that side from living through a disaster movie. It's paradise okay but there was just an earthquake right in my neck of the woods. I have a friend who lives in massachusetts. She's like oh my gosh i think i was just in. An earthquake. Like in cambridge senator. Debbie has a question for both of us. She is an upholder from london and ass discount philly being on the lookout for ways to be happy. Ever make you unhappy That's a good question doesn't make me unhappy doesn't make me happy. I feel like it's fun. It's energizing yeah. It gives us a little projects constant project. Yes and i think that we also both except that we do feel negative emotions. It's not like you. Or i tell ourselves or each other that we're not allowed to feel sad or angry or disappointed or guilty or whatever we experienced those emotions. We talk about those emotions. We don't hide from that. No no garage and i will say the number one question that anybody asked me about you because of course i meet people who've read your books and are very interested in you and they always say. Is she happy as she really happy or is that just you know just acting happened long on and i always like she is really happy. You know she's normal but she's really happy. Yeah and also doing. The podcast makes us happy in such a huge way. You know that part of that especially for you is looking for ways to be happier so you say live in. An atmosphere of growth is kind of the ultimate in be key to happiness. And i do think podcast. Ads just an ongoing weekly atmosphere growth to our lives. That makes us really happy. And then we do those things and they use. They often do make us happier. So it sort of will yes cycle. Like walk twenty twenty. It was like my gosh. We found this idea that we did it and made us happier because every else happy that makes us happy. It's it's great so the search for happiness. Does that make us unhappy. Now we've answered your questions. We have two questions for you. We've been asking these because we're gathering together. We are going to do a deep dive into success. Stories from wok. Twenty and twenty. So if you've had a great experience with your twenty and twenty this year please let us know because we're going to share those kind of get people fired up encouraged and give them ideas for how to move forward. We also want to hear your ideas for how you're going to exercise twenty twenty one ritual. Can you perform to exercise. twenty twenty. Maybe it is burning your yoga pants. It is getting rid of that. Sour dough starter. Whatever it is we want to know. We're looking for ideas. Yes we want to hear from you and you can always ask us questions. This was a whole very special episode but we answer listener questions all the time. Let us know an instagram twitter facebook. You can drop us an email. At podcast at gretchen rubin dot com as always you can go to the show notes for this episode. This is happier. Cast dot com slash. You guessed it three hundred for everything related to this episode and the resources for this week if you would like to potentially win assign personalized copy of my best selling book. The happiness project you can enter by following my instagram account at gretchen rubin like the giveaway post and comment on the post tagging three friends. If you win. I will send you assign personalized book and this is for. Us readers only allows because of mailing costs and again. Don't forget that registration is now open for the happiness project experience ever wanted to do a happiness project experience. Join us now before. The price goes up at the end of november. There's all kinds of tools and and solutions and resources to help you stick to your resolutions and identify rely. Resolutions said to make twenty twenty one your best year ever registered before the price goes up at gretchen rubin dot com slash t h. p. And get that buddy to help you stick to it. And that's it for this episode of happier. Thanks for joining us. To celebrate our three hundred episodes it is hard to believe. Thanks to our producer. Chuck reed everyone at canes thirteen. Thank you get in touch gretchen. On twitter at gretchen rubin. And i'm at elizabeth craft or email. Address is podcast at gretchen. Rubin dot com. And if you like the show please be sure to tell a friend and subscribe to us wherever you listen to your podcast until next week i'm elizabeth craft and i'm gretchen ribbon. Thanks for joining us. Onward so rich. What will be happening when we hit four hundred. Like we'll eleanor's still be living at home. How did i figure out the but we didn't see three hundred coming who knows. We're hundred has in store for us. I know that's so true from the onward projects.