20 Episode results for "Living Room"
010: Overcoming Discouragement | The Living Room
"The tools living room to grow a space of grace to become everything that God wants us to be. You're listening to the living room podcast with Joanna Weaver. Hey beautiful friends. I hope you're having a wonderful day but in case you're not well. I've got an episode for you. I I was talking to some friends I and asking them what they would like me to talk about and one of them said I really like you to talk about. Overcoming discouragement and you know what I had just gone through a period of discouragement in felt the Lord Se Hoon Joanna China. Maybe you should stop nursing and rehearsing your frustration and start looking to me for answers so it was really a timely question and so I kinda sat down and jotted down the things that the Lord has been teaching me in my own periods of not so greatness. Do you ever have one of those days. You know that was kind of days where everything goes wrong kind of like the kids book Alexander and the terrible horrible no good very every bad day. I think we've all had those kind of days. But what do we do when those days become a week in a week a month and then even perhaps a year. What do we do when that darkness? Darkness in discouragement just won't lift how do we get out of the darkness and put our hope and guide well as I mentioned I had gone through a period of discouragement last fall. I was responsible for a whole whole bunch of different things and a lot of step was on my plate and to be honest I felt a little overwhelmed but God was so good to give me the strength to complete all of those responsibilities and yet afterwards. I just felt like a hit a wall. Have you ever had that happen like just <hes> things are going great but then Bam there you are and you don't quite know how to get over it or under it or around it. All you know is that you feel a little bit stock in I had still had some really important things that I needed to get some forward movement on but I it was like I was slogging through wet cement and I just couldn't get any forward forward momentum. You know sometimes discouragement stops small and it's just kind of that niggling thing and we're able to distract ourselves with business but if we don't if we don't deal with that discouragement sometimes it can start to grow until it's like a heavy cloud. The dictionary defines discouragement as a loss of confidence or enthusiasm and boy. Did I feel that during that time I think all of us have those times in maybe even today's Today's one of those loss of confidence and you don't feel too enthusiastic sort of days. What do we do well? I was reminded of David and the story that's told in I Samuel thirty he and his mighty man had experienced a great victory for when they got back to their village they found it destroyed and all of their children and wives stolen by raiders. The men were so upset so overwhelmed with grief and anger in discouragment that they actually talked of Tony David. You know I try to put myself in the place of David I. I think that I would have been a little bit upset with them. After all. I've done for those guys they were turning on me. I mean he was dealing with his <music> own discouragement his own grief though owned heaviness of responsibility of this terrible tragedy I love what bursts six tells us but David strengthened himself in the Lord and I oh I think that's what you and I need to do on those days where there's just a little bit of discouragement in on those days when we have hit a wall of discouragement that just has left us fallen flat. We need to number one get alone with God. I think that that's how David strengthened himself in the Lord. I found that it's really hard to strengthen myself in the Lord in the middle of life. I need to get a loan with him and then I need to pour my heart out to him. I guess what you guys he can handle. He can handle it. He can handle our pain and our confusion our frustration and fear even our anger he can handle all our questions but we can't and if we keep all of that bottled up inside if we don't pour it out him it's GonNa come out. Sideways girls and it's not gonNA be pretty. I think that I could probably say that from experience. Discouragement bottled up will come out in some sort of negative way so get alone with God but the number to invite God into the equation you know. I think a lot of my discouragment comes from the fact that I believe the lie that I'm all alone and it's all up to me. I have to figure out I have to figure it out. There's no one to help me in. No wonder I'm overwhelmed discouraged because here's the deal my wisdom Kim. My strength is limited but the good news is this God strength and wisdom isn't and he invites us in James One twenty two to ask him for wisdom. The Bible says if anyone lacks wisdom he should ask God God who gives generously to all in the listen to this part without finding fault in other words. He doesn't say hey listen girl. I gave you wisdom yesterday and you totally ignored it no wisdom for you. He's she's not like that instead. He invites us to come to him and ask him for wisdom. In James went twenty two promises it will be given him. I've found that when I get alone with God and invite him into to the equation pouring out my heart to him something happened so beautiful it's as though he helps me to step back from the situation and begin to have the perspective that I need his perspective. I love this graphic that I I saw on facebook. Last year. It was a picture of a ruler or a scale of some sort on the left side and then these words said how big is your problem on a scale from zero to God you know when. And we bring God into the equation and we begin to get his perspective. We see what looks like an impassable obstacle to us is really an opportunity to go deeper with Jesus and to see him move in our lives in ways that we've never experienced before so get alone with God invite God into the equation in the number three declare what you know not what you feel. Oh my goodness you guys. I am a big feeling girl. I tell you what I am constantly dealing with my emotions and if I'm not careful I can I can get caught in the cycle of negative self-talk nursing in rehearsing my my issues and my inabilities my fear and learning that I need to give myself a good talking to emphasis on good kind of like David did when he said why so downcast Oh my soul put your hope P- in God it sounds kind of silly but the Lord has been having me do something a little unusual the last couple of weeks he's challenged me to look in the mirror and speak words of life over myself rather rather than words of death words like you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength Joanna. Oh Joanna he will never leave you or forsake youth. The Lord is your Helper Joanna. You don't need to be afraid in something. Beautiful happens. It's as though that darkness is pushed back in an I find myself standing up a little straighter in feeling a little stronger all because I've declared what I know rather than what I feel number four do the next right thing. Remember our podcast episode with Emily Freeman. I think it's <hes> episode three where she encouraged us to do the next right thing in love. I think so many times when I'm discouraged I get so focused on what I can't do. I miss what I can do so want to encourage you. Look at what's in front of you. You may not be able to accomplish that thing that task that. Net is out of reach right now but there are things that you can do right now. Maybe maybe you need to get out of your bedroom and out from underneath the sheets in go visit a friend of maybe you need to go for a walk or wash. Some dishes break the inertia and the feeling of sickness by doing something do what you can do in the entrust guide to do the rest in finally. I'd like to encourage you to take courage. Take courage because what is discouragement except really a loss of courage. We had it at one time but now it's gone. It feels like the bottom of our hope has fallen out in everything looks black in our inspiration has gone and we don't know if it will ever come back couple of weeks ago my friend to Nokia sent me this conversation that she'd had with God on a text message. It said this I said Lord Lord give me courage. He said take courage. I've already given it oh well. I'll tell you what those words just. Kinda hit me like a two by four up against the head because I had been doing exactly the opposite. I've been asking to help me. I've been pleading I ranked rather than reaching out and accepting what Jesus has already given in John Sixteen thirty three Jesus tells us in the world you will you'll have tribulation but take courage. I have overcome the world while discouragment paralyzes US courage helps us take the next step. Even though nothing in our situation may have changed changed when we take courage we change and girls it's right there. I want you to imagine Jesus just with his hands outstretched with courage with strength wisdom with everything you need for your situation wasted. He's extending it to you and he's saying take it's yours. We're going to have those terrible horrible. No good very bad days every single one of us if you haven't had one lately it's come in my friend but. Rather than giving in to the discouragement I would encourage you to get alone with God invite him into the equation. Declare what you know not what your feel do the next right thing and then take the courage that he offers what if David hadn't strengthened himself in the Lord that day what if he'd given into the anger or given into the grief what if he'd given into despair I didn't realize this but first Samuel thirty and and that whole story of the raiders took place just a few days before saw died in battle in David was crowned King sometimes our greatest discouragements come before our greatest victories and that's why it's so important to push through discouragment with the Lord's help and refused to give into hopelessness and despair Joshua one nine is one of my favorite verses. It's my son Joshua's favourite versus as well. God says these words to Joshua when he was feeling discouraged. The immense task of leaving God's people after Moses died got said to him have not commanded you be strong. Encourages do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged for the Lord. Your God will be with you wherever you go and I want you to take those words to heart today. Jesus is right right here with you. He's holding your hand. He's going to lead you. He's going to give you the wisdom you need. Don't walk this day alone. Invite cheeses to walk it with you well. I hope that's been encouraging to you I now I needed to hear those things again today. Because life can be difficult but we have a mighty mighty guide who's not only willing to give us the strength and wisdom we need but he's willing to give us the courage we I need to do the brave thing the hard thing even if the bravest and hardest thing we do is getting out of bed. I love you Fran. I'm just so grateful that you're tuning into these podcasts. It means so much to have you leave comments on facebook and at the blog as well as leaving reviews on itunes in means a lot if you're not part of our private facebook group the Living Room I'd love to have you join us. Just go to facebook dot.
026: The Art of Becoming Us with Beth McCord | The Living Room
"Tools for living room to grow a space of grace to become everything. God wants us to be. You're listening to the Living Room. Podcast with Joanna. Weaver a facade. Twenty six welcome back to the series that we're doing in the month. February on love and marriage. I'm really excited to have Beth. Mcchord back with us again. She is in any Graham coach expert in Cheang her husband. Jeff have written a wonderful book called becoming US using the any Graham to create a thriving. Gospel centered marriage. Hey you guys if you haven't yet listen to the last episode episode twenty five. You're definitely going to wind up. Pas this one and go back because Oh my goodness even if you're familiar with the any Graham. Beth does a masterful job describing each type in their motivations. It'll give you an idea of which of the nine personality types you might fall in but I would encourage you to take the self assessment test over at your any Graham coach Dot Com as well and I'd love to have your spouse do it as well because that's how you're going to get the most out of today's episode. Paul wrote these words in Philippians one nine and it's what I desire for this series. Listen to what he writes. And this is my prayer that your loved me abound more and more in knowledge in-depth insight. I really believe that the any Graham can help us understand each other in a deeper more meaningful way and I can't wait to hear what has to say about this when it comes to marriage. Let's dive in while. I'm really excited to have Beth. Mcchord back with us today. She is the author along with her husband of becoming us. Using the any Graham to create a thriving. Gospel centered marriage in. You might be wondering what the INSTAGRAM is a Beth? Can you just give us a little little idea? That I'm going to be pointing them back to the last episode where we talk about it in more detail. But what is the yes so the Ingraham really is a map of self understanding of why we do what we do. versus just our outward behaviors in the Ingraham. If you think of as an internal. Gps It's GonNa let you know your main type or your current location but also the healthiest destination for your personnel type. It becoming more like Christ in how he designed you but also is going to let you know when you veer off course into those comment pitfalls we find ourselves and get frustrated at ourselves but the integration can be alert system like a rumble strip on a highway. That can say hey. If you keep thinking feeling behavior in this particular way you're going to fall into that same pitfall so why not surrendering depend to the Holy Spirit and come back and get back on. Track focusing on who? God has called you to be which is being more like Christ. So that isn't a very quick nutshell but there's nine basic personality types or nine ways of seeing the world interpreting the world and reacting to the world That are unique to each of the personality types and they're valid perspectives and so we just want to learn how to take off our own lenses for a second and put others on so we have more compassion and empathy and grace and mercy in our relationships so that we can work better together That is so good and I especially love your approach to the any Graham Because it's very much. Gospel centered in. Its very much bringing God into the equation. I think the thing that excites me about the any. Graham is that it really gives us a chance to see someone else's point of view because you know when we when John and I I got married. We had so much in common. We had both been raised in a Christian home. We love Jesus with all our heart. We both felt called ministry so I thought Oh my goodness this is a match made in heaven. This is going to be Gloria. Then it turns out that when the Bible says that the two shall become one That's a process that doesn't happen on the day. You say I do. How was it for you when you and Jeff got married? Yeah well we got married. Will you're twenty so you could imagine we didn't even know ourselves little on each other and it was the same you know. I think everyone obviously gets into marriage. Because I think it's going to be the most glorious thing grand experience because they are experiencing that in their dating life at least mostly. That's why they choose marriage but then soon after marriage things kind of shift real life hits you start to realize you're seeing the world differently you don't understand why they're not doing it the way you do it Just can spiral out of hand. Going from what we thought was a ballroom. Dance into feeling like we're playing the game twister in stumbling over each other in that he's just really almost normal. You know but we WANNA learn how to understand each other better so that we come alongside each other and support each other in the way God designed us but also to own our own faults and to grow in the areas that we need growth as well exactly exactly. Well I know for me. It was so so beneficial to come to the understanding. That just because Jon didn't see life the same way it didn't mean that one was right in one was wrong or even that one was better than the other I love a your approach in the book. I really hope that our listeners will go and buy becoming us because it so practical and like I said in the last episode which you guys if you have not yet listened to the last episode with Bath I really WANNA encourage you. Because she goes through the nine types in detail and she does it in the framework of of what your core longings are. What your motivations. All these different things. He talks about the strengths as well as the weaknesses which really I think it was that That list of characteristics of the any Graham. That really helped me kind of pinpoint where I was coming from. And then also were. My husband was coming from and so what I'd love it. If you wouldn't mind doing is just kind of take us through the different types in and maybe even Talk about each type as to. What do they bring to marriage? What are the good things that they bring to the world because like I said a lot of times we think that the way we see things is the only way and when I began to value who John was in the fact that he was not just like me? That's when everything changed Yeah yes so. Each personality style guide has you know uniquely created and when he creates something as good And so what we want to think of. As the body of you know that there are different. Personality styles that bring A reflection of God naturally to the world and that is really what we want to celebrate and focus on a so when we think about the body of Christ We want to not just see why people are different than us. Some put them down for not being what we think is as good as us in fact we wanna see and celebrate what God has instilled in them naturally and how they reflected in this beautiful way. So yes I'd be happy to go round all nine types and kind of give a glimpse is to the beautiful attributes that they bring win there at a healthier state. Because obviously when we're not doing well we're not going to just naturally exhibit these things but when we're doing well we will naturally just this will permeate from us. People really enjoy it so would go ahead and start. Yeah and and maybe. I'll let you decide how you want to do this. But maybe as you describe each type I'd love to have you also talk about how we can love that type better because I think there are so many facets that we miss and we tend to love the way we want to be loved and yet I really believe I think it was Gary Smalley who said that. We need to be a student of our spouse in really learn what they need. Yes absolutely I'd be happy to do that so so I'll go through. All nine types in will do is for each type. I will say the wonderful attributes that they just naturally Bring to You know us and how they reflect God and then I will piggyback on that same type it with how to show them love so that way we keep. It all cohesive together So our type ones are the moral perfectionists and again like you said in the last episode. I go over Wyatt type. One is a type one through their core motivation. So if you're listening to this before the last episode definitely go back in listen to why the type one is a type one But the type one is immoral perfectionist. And they bring a reflection of God's goodness and rightness and what that really means is ones have this amazing ability to see a no what is right and what is good and to highlight that into encourage others and themselves to walk in that goodness and rightness in that reflects God because God is the most right right. He's the most righteous and good And so we love the fact that the ones know what that looks like and to aspire to go there if they bring wisdom and depth and insight to things that some of us will overlook or Miss. They know how to look at details. And so when you're talking about loving a spouse that has a type one or could even be a kid you know your kid or a parent or CO worker Things that you want to remember is to remind your type one often that you love them and Christ loves them We WanNA recognize the type. Ones have allowed in a critic. That is berating. Them and assaulting them with all the things that are wrong Whether within themselves or outside themselves and it's it's just a constant oppressive assault is what we WANNA do is first and foremost show them. How Christ has freed them condemnation in how he gave them his righteousness so that when God looks at them he seeing Christ's righteousness and not telling all their wrongs because that has been taken away so important to constantly have that reframe into bring encouragement to the one because they're constantly getting beaten up by this inner critic and so we want to point out that we're thankful for the things that they do notice how they give us advice. That is solid untrue Now it may land on us as being critical but if we can see it from their lands will see that their hearts intention is usually to help and so we want to thank them for their helpful cut a mindset towards us And then ask for forgiveness win. We might have done something wrong. Just own it. Apologize And let reconciliation happen very quickly and didn't say lastly is to be responsible for your like domain your area of life They're constantly feeling like they have to be the only adult around and lifting the load or pointing out to everyone. What needs to happen but if you take sincere responsibility and let them know that you want to partner with them in the things that need to get done but you also want to have fun and do it. Together that would be a real A real reprieve for their soul that they don't feel like they have to be the only one so that's our type one. Oh my goodness that is so good. There's somebody out there listening. That is just had a huge. Aha Moment. I love this. I love this. Okay so tell us about number twos okay so our tunes are supported advisors and they naturally bring love and nurture to the world. That's how they reflect. Guide is through love and nurture They see a no other people's needs emotions like they. Literally walk into a room in a intuitively know And so they know how to serve and move into someone's life in a very hopeful way then is just so beautiful just like Jesus knew that we needed a savior and he came and did it for us. He served us in that way But so what? How does show the to love is giving them the affirmation and the appreciation of what they do on our behalf That is so important for us to recognize the the heart of the two but we also know remind them that their love for simply being them but they don't have to do all these things in order for us to love them. We actually love them. Unconditionally it doesn't mean you don't think them for what they did but we just really want to hone in on. Those things are really awesome and good. I so appreciate them but I just love you. It's a real hard concept for the twos to believe they can be loved without doing some helpful service to others And just to remind them how cherish they are by God that he wants them and pursues them unconditionally. have is absolutely a valuable To help them to rest in who they are versus having to do so. Then are tight. Three is a successful achiever and they bring hope in radiance that is how they reflect. God and man can be so radiant and they have the ability to just really know what needs to get done and how to do it with great efficiency and success and it really is beneficial to those around them when they're doing it in this way but we also want to realize. Is that type? Threes believe they have to achieve in order to be loved and they need others to see or no or experience that achievement in order for them to say. You're amazing you're great admire you but what we. WanNa do is we want to definitely give them the feedback that they are great because I do amazing things and we appreciate all the efforts that they have that we love them for simply being them. They don't have to accomplish anything in order to earn that love. That would mean so much to type three. But we also want to reflect. How God does that to say? God knew that they couldn't achieve what they ultimately needed so he sent Christ to be that perfect person who achieved everything that was needed on their behalf and that they can rest C. threes are constantly going to the next thing on the next thing to achieve this this next level but now they can realize oh. My achievements are Christ achievements. I can exhale instead of being a human doing. I can be a human being and we want to constantly point that out to them with much appreciation of who they are but also how they can rest and being their authentic self Then our type fours are a romantic individualist and they bring creativity and depth and this is so remarkable because beauty is something that we all just are enamored by right like when you see a beautiful flower or a beautiful landscape. I mean it's just like you can't help it. Stop and look at it. And the uniqueness the design that God has given so they bring a lot of creativity in beauty to the forefront but also bring depth and meaning and purpose especially when it comes around emotions and it really reflects Christ because Christ not only the joys of life but he also was a man of sorrows. He understood the pains that we went through and force are wonderful at being there with us in the midst of suffering and sorrow in that China. Just fix us but just being there. And it's such a remarkable gift that they give us but we also want to recognize of how we can love our force so I feel like there's something defective and flawed within them at something's missing something foundational and so they feel like they have to be unique in different and to be seen for the uniqueness of difference in order to be loved but Christ created them uniquely to be them and he doesn't make mistakes so they're not defective in flawed even though they feel like it so even though we may not fully understand a four we can say. I want to know you more. I want to get to know you more but I also want you to remember how beautiful you've been designed by Godwin Guy. Create something he says it is good and I want you to in helping them to remember that. Even when there's a soon Nami of emotions that may say otherwise you know that's not true and so we want to constantly reflect back to them the beauty that God has created in their unique design. Then our type. Fives ARE INVESTIGATIVE THINKERS. And they bring wisdom and Truth C. Fives love to pour into research and knowledge and absurd of the world and they look to see things and like literally pull them apart and put them back together again whether their concepts or real things And so they love to get into the minutia of knowing how things work but with that they have so much depth of knowledge that when it rises in a very healthy way they bring insights and truth that are its wisdom and it's remarkable now how we can support our five is to understand five. A lot of people actually don't understand fives Especially if you're on the extrovert spectrum. Or You really enjoy connecting with people on multiple levels and for long links of time. This would be hard for you to understand a five because the fives in our world. It's as if they wake up every day being plugged in and kind of restoring their energy their interactive battery life. Every day would be like a cell phone when you wake up every day. Even though it's plugged on I only having twenty to twenty five percent interactive battery life for the entire day. So they need to know what's happening that day how to ration it out So that it doesn't deplete for them if it goes to zero it's catastrophic depletion annihilation. It's gone they'll never be able to recharge it again now. That may seem extreme to the rest of us but if we all understand our own hangups in hell they're probably not true You'll recognize that. This is how it's hardwired into a five so you'll feel some resistance boundaries. Going up from a five because they feel like they can't give more than what they have so a great thing that we can do for our fives to say. Hey we're going to go out with a Smith's tonight In these are the things are happening during the day. What would be beneficial for you to be at your best to go. Hang out with the smiths. I know a lot of times you will you kinda feel depleted in. It's hard for you to go. How can I serve you? Best at war if he comes home. Let's say your husband or your wife comes home from work and there are five and you're going to go to the Smith number one. Don't surprise them. That's not a good thing but if you were to be like hey you know we planned on to go the Smith. I'm sure you had a busy day. You know would you like fifteen thirty minutes to kind of take some time alone to recharge before we go or hang? Where's your battery life? How can I understand where you're at right now? And how can I serve? You like those would be so meaningful for your type five The type sixes are the loyal Guardians and they bring faithfulness encourage The faithfulness of six is so remarkable. They stay very steady instead fast in their loyalty and their commitment in doing the responsible thing for those that they love and that is just remarkable and then at their healthiest. They bring a ton about of courage. 'cause member they're going through their own self doubt and indecisiveness because they have an internal committee that has given them all sorts of scenarios. But you'll what you see. Is that the sixes each and every day rise above that and have courage to do the next things in life and so they'd pre encouraged to us they show us even the midst of anxiety and apprehension. We can be courageous in doing the next thing so one way we can support the sixes is one understanding that they have an internal committee that is causing chaos and confusion and apprehension into understand this and not be like. Oh it's okay. Everything's GonNa be perfectly fine in a way that doesn't show appreciation for what they're going through so just to recognize the struggle of the anxiety of the internal committee for the six to be there to support them to guide them or two point areas where they would feel more safe and secure but letting them know that you are committed. You are loyal your faithful and responsible that they can trust you and to not only say it but demonstrate. It would absolutely be the best thing you can do for your sixes and then a few more. We got three more. The type sevens is the entertaining optimist. Now they bring joy and abundance and seven's absolutely know how to not just have fun but when they're out there healthiest they savor the moments of life which translates into real joy. And they can it radiates from them and we it's infectious. We have joy along with them but they also bring abundance and it's like they've gathered all of this joy and they want to impart it to us like it almost overflows into our life. And that's what God does as well and so that's why I love how all of these things reflect God in a very unique way but one thing we can do for sevens is recognized that it's really hard for sevens to sit in negatively or anything that is less than positive now that doesn't mean they shouldn't learn but what would be really helpful for the seven is if there's something that is mundane or boring or not fun or actually really hard to recognize that that is extremely difficult for them to sit in so any time that we can bring a sense of reprieve levity to the situation. Maybe even make it fun and exciting. If it's like a chore like make a Game Out of it Make it fun. It doesn't have to be serious all the time that shows them like. I see that those other things are hard for you and I wanna meet you halfway To the best of my ability but also appreciate that. They bring a sense of positivity to a really negative world that really would mean a lot to them and then our aides are protective challengers. They bring power and protection. You Know God is our refuge. He's our strength or shield And that is really what aides are all about. They want to protect themselves. But those in their inner circle and they do it with power and intensity and that's how God is for us you know he is The Hound of Heaven. He is the Good Shepherd he does. All of these things to provide and protect us so we want to affirm our eight in Howell. They do provide them protect us but also to recognize that they have a vulnerable tender side within them that usually only those in their inner circle sees and when you see it let them know how much you appreciate that and how much you long to see that more and more because it's a hard place for them they're afraid they're going to be blindsided or betrayed into show them that they can trust you not just in words but in action and don't blindside them. Don't manipulate them and don't Try TO TAKE CONTROL. Come alongside them and support them. These would be things that could really be beneficial and then last but not least is my type. The peaceful mediator weep bring peace and oneness. We naturally are looking for harmony and peace and we want to bring a sense of steadiness but oneness. Think of a round table where we all can gather that everyone is important and everyone has value. That is what we bring. And that's what we radiate and so how you can show nines Love is to literally not just say that they matter but to demonstrate that they matter give them space to talk to To think through what they want. Get be patient and longsuffering because it can take nines awhile to say what they want to know what they want and to then move in there right action A lot of times in their mind. They're thinking I shouldn't assert myself. I should just let everyone else do it. So that's where long-suffering can come with those that love nines but then also to show the nine how much you appreciate their steadiness their ability to see all sides to bring harmony and reconciliation in relationships and to be that kind of firm foundation that others can stand upon as those will. Just be some really amazing things to come alongside anyone in your life. That is a different type. The New Guinness so I bet you guys are impressed by that. As that was amazing I love how well you know. the Graham but how you point us all to Jesus and in that whole idea that every single type is valuable. Every single type has equality of God that they bring to the world in so I was sitting here thinking. Oh that's my brother. Yeah okay. That's my son that's my daughter and and when we can truly dwell in understanding with each other I think rather than judgment of each other. What A- gift that we give to to not only our our spouse in our immediate family but really to those we work with to those we interact with rather than say what is wrong with them. Yeah we can go. Oh okay. Hey I think I understand. That's powerful. Absolutely it is. It's super powerful in it so important because really that's how God wants us to treat one another right. They will know us by our love. And it's hard to love when we only see the world through our own Lens It's what's interesting is kind of ironic. Is the nines They actually are putting on everyone. Else's lenses all the time in their own so everyone else kinda needs to learn how to put on other people's lenses a little bit more. Some some are good at it. More more black and white But in the nines need to learn to actually put their own lens on as they also use everyone else's a cas nine zero themselves at least in. They need to learn that their presence in the that they have value and worth and to show up with that perspective as well. That is so so good. Will you guys? I do want you definitely pick up this book because all of this incredible knowledge is just scratching the surface and Beth and Jeff have set up the book where the last part gives several is six. Maybe six pages to each type and walk through a lot of what she shared in the last episode but also much of what she sharing here and even more and I love how. The Graham itself shows us Here's your strings but here's your weaknesses. Here's how you grow towards health. Here's where if you're not doing well unhealth your this is going to be some of your actions. I have just. I've personally learned so much. A one of the other things that we talked about in the last Episode is that That there are wings there are there are different layers in so you may go well. I don't I don't see myself. Will one of the things that you can do is you can go to To the at your any Graham coach Dot Com and you can take a free test and then also you can take what you've learned and tell us what they can do when it comes to marriage or working with other people yes so obviously. The book is a great resource but we also have a couple of other resources. That in your marriage you might be interested in if you WANNA take it. A little further We have a course called exploring you and this is my prerecorded. Coaching sessions focused on a particular type. So if you're type two in your husband is a six than you would by type two for yourself and you had by the six for him. But you'd WanNa Watch them together and be amazed at what you're learning about yourself but then also amazed about what you're learning about your spouse like oh my goodness. I didn't realize that and then there's reflection questions that you guys can use to have discussion. And then when you're done with the exploring new courses you can also go to becoming US dot com where we have forty five courses for all forty-five couple types and there's a course specifically for the two of you whether you're a type two in a six combination a nine nine combination you name it. There's a course for you and this is where I explained on daybreak level. How the two of you interact when you're not doing well and when you are doing well or the hope that lies before you with transformation in the Gospel and it's very specific it's geared towards the two of you which kind of way I suggest doing exploring new course first to really get to know your cells well to start that conversation and then this course is a video camera in your house. How does she will that way do this? But the whole point is to not feel Convicted away whether it's condemnation shame in fact it's the opposite. I want you to see the hope that you have in Christ in that. He has already accomplished all that you need in an through through his life death and resurrection and as we surrender and depend on him and walk in faith with the spirit. He will renew our hearts day after day in our in ourselves and then in our marriage and our families and so that becoming us course is going to be vital for you guys to take this like as far as you can absolutely go and again that's at becoming US dot com excellent and you'll also find a free marriage assessment just to kind of give you a taste of what you can expect in that. Course I'm so excited about this message in the tools that you have available to help us dwell with each other in understanding because I had become in our own marriage in those early years so discouraged and so disappointed and I couldn't understand why my husband couldn't understand me and he was just as frustrated on the other side was interesting. God did this whole process of healing our marriage that I'm going to talk about over the course of these podcasts. As the years go by it but one of the big things was we took this simple cognitive process test as a staff a church staff in. We'd never done anything really like that. And all of a sudden I began to see how John Processes Life is is in diametric opposition to the way that I process life then all of a sudden like that one point you make about the nines like give them time I. I'm that girl who's like you. I've got an opinion I wanted decision. I want action right away and boy learning to just like offer information to John C. Here's the decisions we need to make but then back off and give him time to process all my goodness that transformed our marriage. Yeah absolutely when you consider on the different ways I. I'm kind of curious what you've found in your counseling and just in research of I think there's a part of us that thinks. Oh if I was just if we were exactly the same it would be so much easier. Do you find that if you are the same type that that's an easier life the APP no. I don't say I wouldn't say it's harder and I wouldn't say it's easier What you're GONNA find is types. That are we. Call them double type combination so attuned to nine hundred nine they have. They're going to understand one another a little bit easier and get each other But they also with us have struggles in weaknesses or blind spots are going to become picker blind spots But that doesn't mean that means. That relationship is worse off or harder than another type because another type has their own weaknesses and blind spots. That are just different and it could be harder for them to understand one another so no matter. What couple type that you are? You have to recognize. The key is being aligned with the truth of the Gospel. When you know that that Christ's the spring of living water and that you are like a desert and you are so thirsty. Only the spring of living water can't quench your thirst in Umbrian deep satisfaction. But we think it's GonNa come from our kids our spouse our careers. But they're only like a little water bottle and for a desert that is not gonNa do any good and so once. We satisfy our our thirst with the spring of living water and we're so saturated then when we turn to these little water bottles it's like Oh cool. Thanks that's incredible it because we already filled up and so we just need to recognize that no matter what couple type combination you are Christ. Is there with you both in the more you drink from the source you will see? Your relationship changed. Even if your spouse doesn't you will change and that that changes everything now may not change it to the place that you hope But you will see the transformation you will be so satisfied in Christ. It will permeate an all your life Now hopefully and prayerfully that will change spouse will change and they will be satisfied by Christ in the spring that he offers but that is the work that God is doing in them. If you focus on your own work and not trying to change Nag everyone around you. You will see that God will take care of you. Even if others aren't changing you will find a whole new level of joy in deep satisfaction. So stay focused on. Christ keep your eyes fixated on him and great things happen. Yes and I I. I think we're probably both living proof of that. Because Oh my goodness those those years of frustration and I just kind of shut down emotionally and decided that we would be married singles. He would do his thing and I would do mine. But the Lord in His mercy would not leave us there and as I found myself just so you know lower change him at the Lord. He took me on a three year journey where he basically said Joanna. Get Your hands off my man. I want change you and as I was willing to look at myself and let God have access to me. He began this process of healing. And and I can honestly say John and I look at each other and say Oh my word what we would have missed. Had we not allowed God access to our own souls. And it's so easy get fixated on others. I love the ANAGRAM. Because it's this it's just a tool. It's not a magic quadrant. Like you say it's just a road map. It shows you the rumble strips. I love that so much my son's in driver's training and so those rumble strips. I'm feeling a lot lately. Yes I am and so it's sort of be willing to go okay? Lord I'm going to give my eyes off of them and what they're doing and I'm going to allow you to show me what I need to see. So thank you for doing this. Work Bath it. It's I just feel like it's so important and especially especially because you have taken a tool that is you know. Hey there's a lotta stuff out there. We talk in the last episode about you. Know how? There's some even some controversy but what I appreciate about this. Gospel centered approach to the India. Graham is that points us to Jesus it points as to what it looks like when we drink of that. Well that you've talked about. What would you say to that wife out there who's may be feeling a little like I did or that husband where we don't even know if there's any hope of different marriage? Yeah well that's the good news is there's always hope You know Christ that's what he offers that There's hope there's renewal. It may not look the way we wanted it to look but he will restore he will replenish. He will Eventually reconcile all things to himself. what we can rest on. Is that his life? Death and resurrection did bring us satisfaction but it continues until we go to heaven and so it's it's not a finished. Were stuck with what we have right now. It is an ongoing process and it is what he calls us to do is not pull yourself up by your bootstraps and work harder. It's he's calling you to surrender and depend on him and as we walk in faith in the things that he has asked us to do he. Restores RENEWS IN GIVES US Great? Hope in again. It may not look like anything you expected but he will give you much joy and delight in the way that he sees is best That's so beautiful. I really know that It was not until I laid down my expectations of my husband and begin to accept him rather than expected of him. That our marriage was healed in. I I was just thinking of that. Verse in Romans. Fifteen seven that says except one another then just as Christ accepted you and then it goes on to say that when we do that you guys we bring priest guide there is something beautiful when brethren and sister and. That's how I never quite know how to say that word dwell together in unity and so I just love as we close bath if you if you just pray over those couples and maybe maybe even there's some people they're not married They don't have a spouse but boy. They are struggling in some relationships. But there's come some illumination in there and a chance to step back in and see a different perspective put on different lenses which he just pray for the. Uh us that we would be able to to have that heart to be willing to accept people as they are not as we want them to be. Yeah definitely their Lord. Thank you so much for how. You design us to Have one another as spouses as friends to not be so. Jenner's on this earth but to walk with one another and so I just prayed Lord that no matter if we're married or single and we have friendships and Co workers in a family members that we recognize that there are nine different ways of seeing the world that you created the body of Christ each of us different but also when we unify in our desire to glorify. Great things can happen so just pray that you will help each one. That's listening to learn the different lenses to be able to take off their own for even if it's a brief second put someone else's on to learn what it's like to have compassion and empathy and understanding so that grace and mercy can freely flow through those relationships And we pray most importantly that you are glorified others are blessed in we experience joy in you. Amen Amen. Thank you so much from being with US Beth. I I look forward to chatting with you down the road. You have anything any new projects on the horizon. What we're going to be doing a lot of becoming us Events actually the spring we have twelve. And so we're GONNA be going to different cities People can becoming US dot com to see if we're near you And so we've got that on the horizon and a few other podcasts. Were probably GONNA start a PODCAST Yes so we got a few things on the horizon but Last year was our big year with launching ten books and the marriage course for forty five couple types and then we have become an integral coach. Course We can certify coaches to use this in their own. Whether it's you know as a coach or maybe your counselor or some sort so we revamped that last year so we took blessed mother so just to kind of take a deep breath and get ready for this year. So we're looking forward to meeting more people around the country with becoming. That's I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I did. God has put so many different kinds of people with different viewpoints in our lives and he did it for a purpose. Equations for two instructs us with all humility and gentleness with patience except one another in love. And that's what the India Graham can help us do. I hope that you'll go over to the show notes found at Joanna. Weaver BOOKS DOT COM forward slash zero to six. And while. You're there check out the giveaway that we're hosting on facebook. Beth has been so kind to offer a copy of her book as well as her online course called discovering you. It's filled with tools to teach you more about the nine personality types as well as help you drill down to discover which one you fall within so there you have it. The Gospel centered in Graham next week. My pastor hubby deer is going to be joining us on the podcast and I am so excited but also a little bit nervous. We're going to talk honestly about how we've learned to appreciate and embrace our differences in marriage but we're also gonNA share ways that we found to help us balance family in ministry so I hope you'll join us and hey if you enjoy the living room podcast would you consider subscribing on your favorite podcast platform. It's completely free. And here's the wonderful deal you'll automatically receive all the new episodes right there in your phone. You don't have to go searching for me. I'll already be there waiting for you to take listen Kinda creepy. Well thank you again for joining us for this special series. I hope it helps you. Keep living and loving and leading like. Jesus see you next week.
028: She Believes with Debbie Lindell | The Living Room
"Tools for living room to grow a space of grace to become everything. God wants us to be. You're listening to the Living Room. Podcast with Joanna. Weaver episode twenty-eight well the Pastor's wife called fulltime ministry. I love hearing from women who lead well especially women who have that very special relationship with God you know the ones I mean the ones that you can literally sense. This girl walks with. Jesus Will Win I. I met Debbie Lyndale. I knew she was someone special. And in today's episode she shares the journey. God has taken her on both personally as well as in ministry from an insecure twenty year olds who preferred serving in the shadows to a mega church pastors wives to a woman willing to step into a calling for which she felt ill equipped. I know you're GonNa love our conversation because you guys were all call to be minister. All we have to do is be available to God willing to step forward rather than shrink back. Well I am so honored to have my dear dear friend. Debbie Lynn Del with me today. Debbie thanks for sticking with me girl when cat nephew issues recording this episode. Oh my goodness God must want to do something through this next forty five minutes or so or he's got a big plan for our conversation. I love bugs. Sure you know I'm trying to learn how to do that. How to receive those delays in those interruptions as coming from him rather than resenting them all the time and just trusting that he's up to something that I don't know yet. We don't like hiccups. We like things to go smoothly. And don't you think so I? That's always probably been one of my biggest battles is. I think I've always thought that God's will should be easy. How has it been in your life? Well I think sometimes I want God's will to be my will I think the biggest problem for me? Just learning to distrust him you know. The the beauty of walking with him and completely surrendering to him is that we can no he is or deigning and ordering every step as proverbs says the Senate righteous are ordered of him and so we can be confident that when we do face a situation that just as unexpected or a delay or oh man just something. That isn't going quite like we had hoped We can entrust that to him and know that he's GonNa work it out for good yeah So I've I've experienced a lot of delays in my life. We were talking about that off line. Just you know we both have written books and it seems like often when you're trying striving to do something that God's called you to do that whether you know we talked about is it the enemy or is it. God you know using a delay for his purpose. I think it's both I think the enemy hates. When we're striving to do the will of God anytime we set our our heart and mind on doing God's will. The enemy is at work to thwart the plan of God. I mean you can see that throughout scripture and if you've walked with God at all those that are listening you know that to be true. The enemy hates when we're choosing to honor God with our lives and to do his will and so I think it's and and both ends both and and there's a spiritual battle in the unseen world you know and it's so today we you and I both believe that God wants to use this for his glory and so we're excited to see what he's GonNa do exactly. This is our third podcasts platform. We've attempted to reward after losing a whole interview yesterday so girls. You're in for a treat and I think I how how appropriate because we're GONNA be talking about your book. She believes able leaves. And Oh my goodness I love this book. This is the book that actually I I met you and you're just starting to work on it. And what a journey You know just all throughout I love. Just how very honest in open you are and yet constantly constantly pointing us to the one who's bigger than we are the one who's more capable than we are in the one who wants to empower as can you just Can you just share a little bit of your story? That brought you to she believes. Oh my goodness a journey. Honestly where to begin? I I am constantly Growing in my understanding of God's left for me and Grayson his design purpose for for me. How he intentionally created me on purpose for a purpose and walking by faith in that and so the journey continues yes But I was raised in a Christian home I was actually raised in a pastor's home and My Mom and Dad pastored several churches small churches but they love Jesus with all their heart and taught me to love God and to honestly they taught me to live by faith But as well I had to embrace that faith for myself as we all have young and I think she believes it's kind of a just a representation of every girl's journey And every girl have God's desire for every girl to totally and completely understand his love for them and to to live in In a place where they they not only Have memorized GaAs word which I have his word sitting in my lap today. They have not only been taught the truth of God's word but they've completely embrace it for themselves is so that's so big because I know for myself I had the head knowledge. But you get it from my head to my heart and you talk really honestly about even though you felt called to ministry you and your husband John Pastor and incredible church called James River in Missouri. And just the journey you kind of just share parts of the pieces. You felt called to ministry and yet you. You were really intimidated. My goodness yes. and you know that our Our history can affect our Our confidence you know in things that happened in our lives we can focus on what people say about us or our experiences and we can forget that the truth of God. God's word overrides any experience or anything that has been set over us but when we first went into ministry John and I were just twenty years old. We were married when we were nineteen. We were high school sweethearts and then John John was saved when he was sixteen so he didn't have a background of understanding the church world or pastoring where I was raised in in church and in a pastor's home but walk through some some difficult experiences with my parents And so that kind of created insecurity in me with regards to going into ministry and we Had our first interview for our first position when we were twenty years old. We had only been married. I think we'd been married six months and We were interviewing for a youth pastor position and we. The pastor asked us to meet him. That was any doing us. The lead pastor of the Church that we were handed a minister Pardon me the pastor that we were interviewing with for the youth pastor position we met at a restaurant in town and I remember getting ready for that interview I was so so nervous and I think I changed clothes like four or five times. I wanted to dress the part I wanted to look the part and I. I remember thinking if I'm just if I don't say anything if I'm quiet hopeful. He won't realize that I might be a handicap. You know to to John and to what God was calling John to do and and so I went in to that interview. Just like okay. Just keep your mouth. Shut Debbie. It was easy to do because the pastor pretty much focused all of his attention on John in for for the hour long interview. He really never looked at me or he didn't ask me any questions and I was like thrilled with that. I thought this is awesome. So got done with the interview and he said asking John. The questions he said. Chun Oh my goodness. I'm so impressed with you. You you're you're very articulate and I'm just you now. I just see God's hand on you and I think you'd be a great fit for this position that we need filled and said I just gotTa say on a scale of one to ten. I would rate you as a ten year incredible and I was like yes. Oh my goodness how incredible my husband is. And I'm just so proud of him and and Y- Yes. I agree one hundred percent with what you're saying. Well then He. He turned and looked at me. The pastor did for the first time in the interview really focused on me and he said but I've gotTa say if I was GONNA rate your wife he said I on the same scale. I would raider at a four. Oh Wow and I was like man. How does he know? I haven't even said anything and he can already tell that. I am inadequate that I don't really have all that. It will take to be effective in ministry and he just in those few words confirmed what I believed. Wow It'd be true about myself so All that to say. Is You know the enemy wants us to doubt God's truth about who we are he. He will do whatever he can. I two that was that pastors opinion and it came out of whatever he was taught and what had been spoken over him or I don't know his history but he obviously struggled to honor women and to believe In into to encourage right right I think I think a lot of times. Especially in that era. There was that pastor's wife Persona little cookie cutter back saying and you played the piano and you did this. You did that and if you didn't fit in then then maybe it was hindering. Yes it was going to be a head. Threats are you would not be effective in in whatever role that they felt like you should. You should fill all that say. We ended up taking that position. If you can believe it I remember when he when that Pastor said those words. John Patted my knee and Under the table and I knew what he was saying he was saying. Debbie don't don't you don't I don't believe what he's saying is true and we went home that night and prayed about it and felt like God was leading us to the. This man was not a bad person. Yeah Yeah And God we took the position we served under him. It was difficult but this he this pastor loved God yeah he wanted to honor God with his life and God wanted to use him to teach US things That we would take into ministry key taught us things that he didn't that we knew we did want to be if that makes sense. Yeah and and so I'm thankful for those that year and a half two years that we were under his leadership and also God began to use that season to cause me to Evaluate his truth about me Because I had to come to a place where I believe the word of God what anyone would say over me or speak over me or or my past the things that I've experienced that had created insecurity in my spirit. And you you know we can. I knew scripture Joanna. I knew psalms one thirty nine by heart. My parents read truth over us over their children and spoke truth arres but honestly until we believe that truth for ourselves we can have it hanging on the wall. We can have it memorized but until we believe it. It's not gonNA radically affect our thinking. And and so you know she believes shares a lot of that journey And really I did not. I started to understand that I was thinking wrongly about myself Through those first few years of ministry but it took years and years before I fully embrace the truth of God's word for myself and said Okay God I believe you have Perfectly an intentionally created me for the purposes that you are calling me too and that with with you in me I can do all things that you've called me too and And do them effectively through your power. That is were at work in me and once I honestly chose to believe that for myself. That's when I saw God opened doors That I would have never imagined would have opened. I love it's so ministry so one of the things that I I see I see it in my own life to is the things that I've struggled with what I think are liabilities. I think are going to keep me from being effective are actually the places that God uses most and I see that in you. Debbie like you know that girl. You see that girl who's struggling. You know her girl who feels inadequate you see that girl who who just wants to kind of be invisible and you know how to dry out and I was just thinking last night of pre God. Please let your view I. I was thinking first of all for those of you. Who are listening you know. Her story is really beautiful. They went on to to to pastor at different situations planted a church. It didn't really go very well. Not Springfield and then began to fulfil just this as. Tory. Now have over. Twelve thousand people worshiping on a Sunday morning. Multiple Campuses You have a prayer meeting. That has five to six thousand yet. The thing I love about you. Debbie is you are still you are still that girl with heart wide open and you are that girl who. I honestly think I think you the heart behind James River Bash. Because I walk into this Mega Church and I feel the love that and I think far from being a liability girl. You're not just a Tan. You're like you're like nineteen point nine nine amazing gift to the body of Christ. But you look back and you think how you could have left that insecurity. You could let what you thought about you. Define you with. That man confirmed about you. You can just stayed in that role but instead you you said Lord I wanNA think differently What would you say to that woman? Who's going wow I I feel so inadequate I was telling you yesterday that in so many ways though I come from a different. I'm not the shy girl. I'm the too loud grab that intimidation my own. Cash that constantly Assane Joanna you need to tone it down. You are way too much My own fear that That my motives are not pure and I know myself so well that I can actually get paralyzed by myself. Awareness in Ghazvin do not seem thing he's been seeing Joanna. Will you believe what I say? Yeah above what thirteen? How do we get our? How do we get there? Well you know the enemy comes to steal kill in destroy and he is constantly wanting to stop us all from just you know walking in victory in living out the call of God for our life. Whatever that looks for looks like an any girl's life some whatever guys called you to. It looks different then Joanna and me but the enemy hates it he hates to CS flourishing and he wants all of us to be hiding hiding and and To to honestly keep us keep a secluded and feeling ineffective and insecure. I mean that that is his oh he can do that. He has one and over the course of Minnesota the course of my life but if we just look at even just James River when we came to James River John and I were we were I would say. We were broken leaders We were we were. We felt very in inadequate for the task of pastoring. We had pastored for two and a half years pioneer church in Kansas City. That was extremely difficult and Just we we tried so hard. We made nineteen thousand phone calls. We knocked on. I think we knocked on about five thousand doors and we had we had to a two three and four year old during that time When we went we took we started the church and we knew no one in Kansas City area. And I I give that backdrop just so girls listening will understand what we're experiencing now. It supernatural. Yeah but at the same time it we had to choose to have faith even through the difficult seasons and times in our life and in the journey so just because I say man you need to believe God's word and if you believe God's word for yourself and the truth about what he says about you then it's all going to be like. Oh this is sunshine resident. You know we have to keep trusting. Even in the difficult seasons is so We ended up Leaving that her Feeling God calling us away from that Church that we launched in Kansas City which was really difficult because once we said God were done which was about a year and a half in. We only had thirteen people in five of them. Were Lindell's so that we had eight people after a year and a half On a Sunday morning. And so you I mean that's not very many people sitting in a gymnasium of a brand new school so it looked pretty empty. Every week was very difficult once we said. No that's when the church started growing and once we said we're done the church started growing and by the time we left that to come to that church to come to James River. There was a hundred people had that church in God had sent another pastor to take the church which we were. We were so grateful so when we looked if we looked at that season through human eyes we felt like we failed. You know but but then we now looking back at it like God was teaching us reliance on him because I can honestly say when we went into it. We thought if we check all the right boxes if we you know set up the chairs perfectly if we if we we have good worship and whatever and good preaching then people are GonNa come and God was teaching us. He's the one that builds the church and I in a way. We're getting on a side note here but somebody must need to hear this. You know it is God working in and through us but we as well have to learn to keep our hands open. Guide she now. It's it's you working through us as if we rely only on ourselves. Were not going to see the supernatural power. God made manifest in through our lives. So it's and both it's US believing God can use us in his S. trusting completely in his power to flow through a US but getting back to James River when we came to James River. Then we we felt so weak so broken and the Church. Leave there were. There were only eighty people in the church and when they interviewed us for taking the lead pastor of the Church. We were just like. We don't have much to take. Yeah we're we're worn out. Were we feel week? We feel like we failed and it you know. It's such a beautiful contrast that other interview but they were like you know we believe God uses wake people and we believe you are called to lead and we we WANNA we want you to come and we believe you will come. God's going to work through you and worked through your experience of the past to to bring about his will and built his church here and so on that alone. I mean seriously. We didn't feel like we had anything to offer. But we came on a on their encouragement. Yeah so much you know I. I think if we can embrace the story God has for us. I feel that often I know for me. I entered ministry. I was called to be a pastor's wife just thought God was going to do amazing things through us that it was going to be glorious and to be honest we haven't had that using growth but my husband is always just kept reminding. Joe At join. Our job isn't to be successful as to be faith a so true and you know. He's the one that built the church. James River is no better than any other church. Yeah it he has sovereignly. Chosen that here in this particular community. He wanted this. He wanted to reveal his grayson in a different way. You know because number. He loves numbers because in the word of God. He talks about numbers a lot. So numbers are important to him and every person is important to him every single person so numbers matter in that they represent people but he I mean I love how Gods Church churches represent to me. I've you kids. They all have a different personality. And they all represent him in different ways Into every leader out there. That's trying so hard to be faithful. God is using you and you can't evaluate it off of just what you see because I look back at that time in Kansas City. And I'm like God was he. Was that churches now. A active and involved in in doing great things for him there. He used us to lay the foundation in laying. The foundation was a hard art but we came in going to James River going. Okay God will here we are? We are much. We don't have much to give but God we give what we have and we just ask that you would touch it in supernatural blessed and in. He did things we never imagined he could ever do. And he he led me to places. I never imagined I would go which you know you knew that your life too. I win in going. Don't I don't WANNA lead? I don't want have anything to do with leadership I John. I'll do whatever you need to do behind the scenes but don't give me a microphone and don't be in front of people and and so I for those first several years I just I honestly I hid you know and I. I love serving so I. I was enjoying serving. I served wherever I found a need and but I knew deep in my spirit God was calling me to to more But he had to change. Change ME I. I love this part of your story because you really did not want to step into what God was asking you to do. But I've had first hand experience of what God is done through just that willingness to obey. Can you tell Ya that well Yeah I guess I would say I went kicking and screaming For the first WHO Gracious. Probably twelve years We had what we called women's ministries and It it was effective in that the women in the church. Were you know lead and Bible? Study taught to study God's Word and prayer groups and I mean it was beautiful. It was it was very it was very it. Was the girl of the Church meeting together. Which is powerful in important. But we weren't. We weren't seeing it very effective in reaching out beyond the four walls of the church. Does that make sense? Yeah Yeah and and so I. I say this carefully that I was I was somewhat bored with it and I. I did not blend. I didn't love women's ministry. I love IT I. I went because that was what you were supposed to do. If you were a good pastor's wife you were a part of it and you needed to be there and present and you know Joanna during all this these years of ministry where administered an with in that paradigm. I I was God was teaching me To believe that he could use me. You know and so that that's a backdrop for what I'm saying this story I'm telling but anyway my mom led the last six years of the women's ministries before. It took over. She was leading it and she was so effective impresses that she was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to step down. And I I remember being like Oh God what are you GonNa do? You'RE GONNA End John. Coming to me. My husband had saying Debbie. You've got to find somebody fast. The church was about renting about two thousand. So you know there was quite a few women in the church and he said you know you need to have you need to find out who God wants to lead this quick and I was like okay. Yeah I do and so. I just was praying. Oh God you need to find somebody Xiaomi who she is quick and and you know not at all thinking it would be me and actually I would say I put blinders on because it was like. I put a sleep mask on my face because I did not want to see where I didn't want to see what I knew. He was saying. I mean honestly I could sense it in my spirit but I was ignoring it and I was ignoring it really well. Yeah And so I found this girl to that. I felt like Oh. She'll be amazing she she was. She was just incredible. She was an author herself when she was in the church and she loved whims ministries. And so I asked her and she said sure I'll take it and she wrote up a plan for a year and I was like Wow Hallelujah. This is amazing God. You're so good. The day. After she accepted the position her mom died in her sleep in. She called me the next morning. Her mom was incredible lady and she called her name her. The girl's name was Pam. She called me. She said Debbie. I just have to tell you I'm going to have to To to not take the position because my mom passed away in the night and and I'm just letting you know that. And she said I'm so sorry and and We prayed together was beautiful time but I got off the phone and you know. I'm just being honest here. I was like God. What are you doing you know? I'm now what you know. And so I went back to prayer and long story short. I took a day in a hotel room and I was just like Lord. I need you to show me what to do. An eight hours on the bed in this hotel room which Kirsi purpose just to be with God because I needed his hell I needed. His help is a leader. I need help to look differently at my situation. I needed to look at it by faith in in. Not In my own Thinking I needed look at it through. His is eight hours in God radically and I can say radically changed my heart and it was like a light bulb went off in my mind and my thinking and my spirit and he called me and what he was calling me and I was running and once I said yes it was like my whole heart change. It was like I was completely different person. Why could not wait to to tell John? John God's changed me I am the one he's calling. I am the one he's saying. Debbie lead and I will give you the everything you need to to accomplish my well. I went from wanting to run from leading women to being so excited. I could not wait to see what he was gonNA do. Yeah but it took me. It took me being obedient. It took me saying yes it took. It took me intentionally spending time with him. He man for him to change my heart And for me too. It just embraced the truth. What he says about all of us that he has designed us to be enough HERP ASLI created us for what he has called us to do and given us everything we need to accomplish. His will And so that was that was the beginning and I can't say well it's been all amazing. It's been hard sometimes hard days and there's been days when I still feel like. Oh what am I doing it so far beyond me and I'm in from that point on the Church's grown in there's moments where like it's outgrown my ability and then God says now it hasn't outgrown mine I loved that hasn't outgrown mindset. Just keep looking to me. Keep spending time with me and I'll keep providing everything you need I think this is so important. Debbie because we always are looking at at what we're able to do in this situation and we miss out on the miraculous and I just WanNa just camp here a little bit because I feel like there's some girls out there that have just been kind of trying to be invisible to God and God's talk and jammies and it may not be big things. Girls may be little steps of obedience and you're I can't get my head around it and I just would encourage. I think this is an important point. Get alone with Jesus boy. He talked about because we we need to. There have been so many moments pivotal moments. I can go back to that. I had to be face down on the rug. I had to get along with Jesus. I had to find out what he thought and what he wanted because he really is. I need you here. This girl's God specializes in changing our hearts. Yes to that woman out there that struggling in her marriage she doesn't love that man anymore. Get alone with Jesus lead in your heart that woman who who has stepped out in bathe and failed and felt like I am never going to believe or trust guide for anything again. I'm just GONNA to hold on until Jesus comes get alone with. Jesus yes leaded fuel your heart. Let Him heal your heart beautiful. Yes yes I can I can say I. There's no I don't think there's any battle or any difficulty that cannot at least You can see attorney when you take when you take time away just to in Gaza. I think about when the kids were thirty months apart. We had three kids within thirty months. Thirty one and and you know that. Get along with God Statement when you're a young mom little ones at home. You're like how in the World Am. I GonNa do that you know. I think if you're intentional and looking at how you spend your time you can you can carve out five minutes you can carve out ten minutes. We can all do that in in maybe today. Somebody listening right now. You're you're in a very difficult circumstance or you're you're struggling with emotion maybe you're even struggling with like desiring to just end it. All I I have had those moments where the enemy is. Put those thoughts nine and I'm telling you if you go get your Bible. Go in the bathroom. If you have to shut the door in open the scriptures open scripture up and if you have to open it to one thirty nine that the Psalm one thirty nine and remind yourself maybe you know those versus but remind yourself that God made you he or danger days and he has a plan for you and he wants to work even through these difficult days. Yes challenging days. And and you're right Joanna there the presence of God he's in it's it's so amazing what it will do sometimes even even now. There's days in our marriage. John my marriage where it's just like this is so hard. Diablo stays up. There are a few and and you know it you know. Thankfully they're few and far between but there. There are moments where the enemy wants to put his foot in the crack in the door. And just do you know. Get his get us thinking in ways. We shouldn't think you know. Towards our mate towards our marriage stores children towards towards ministry towards towards towards maybe even the position at work that he's called you to whatever it is he. He loves us to have wrong thinking. And and so I'll just get in the car and go for a drive turn worship music on and I'll find a parking lot somewhere that's secluded. There's a there's a little church that is about. Oh two miles from where we live. And I'll drive. I've driven over there a couple times over the years and got my Bible out and put worship music on and just God I need to be in your presence right now. I need you to rewrite my thinking. Pour into me. Your will your thoughts and it's amazing to me how five ten minutes in his presence intentionally turning off my cell phone just focusing on him and leading the Holy Spirit Speak Poor. His grace and love is his truth over. Me Can can change a circumstance. It happens by changing me. It starts with me exactly and I think we're like yeah. I don't have time but I think if we would realize okay. Take the time that you're GONNA be miserable and in turmoil now sat in prayer put gas. Put that impair. Because I just don't think we understand for privilege. We been given to come bold guests to the throne of grace and find help in our time of need. Ichiro it's not about self help it's about ourselves and I think for me like looking beyond what's going on and praying what you were talking about. Lord Change Me Wire My s. Because I get so fixated on everything. That's going wrong that I missed that. God might be stirring up something that he wants to do in me so good and it's not like when you come out of that time with God that the situation around us zapped mysteriously just goes away. Now it's your heart is changed and you have this confidence. That God's GonNa Help You. He's going to give you the words to say your husband or or you know just creative ways of of Influencing situation but here's the deal God wants us to rely on him burst Amien and often like you say we want to go to our our ability the ability within ourselves to right a situation and he's like no. I want you to come to me because I have I have. I have something I want to show you that. I WANNA reveal to you You know there's a verse in Stephania. One Dixit John and I were talking about a couple mornings ago and and That book is very interesting. It's a prophetic. It's a prophet definitely was a prophet God is speaking about his people and he says he was angry with him them. He says they no longer asking for my guidance. Or seeking my blessing God long for his children to look to him I e men and he never fails to respond ever when we looked at him. It'd be it may not happen overnight. But the wonderful thing is is when we commit our way to him like Psalm. Thirty seven says when we literally roll our care over and we're sometimes sometimes I feel like the Lord is like I got my hands on his situation and it's almost like get this picture of my mind of this surgical place you know and all of a sudden what really needs to happen. Is they need to Zap the guy. The Dead Guy. I feel like God's like clear like get your off Joanna. Yeah to resuscitate old something that first of all maybe just needs to die number one or you're trying to breathe life into something that only I can breathe life and my time in my way and if you will get out of my way to and you're GonNa see me an and so for me like being able to commit that to the Lord and then when my flesh wants to pick it back up again to clear clear get my hands off. I this just segues beautifully into your new book. She prays a thirty one day journey to competent conversations. Because I would venture to say that. There's some girls out there. Even girls who have been Christians their whole life that would say I like what you're talking about that I I don't think I have that kind of intimacy with the Lord or or maybe they're even like me and they would say. Yeah I love the Lord and I feel his presence in but I'm not a very good prayer. I had this idea of what a good prayer warrior was and I didn't fit that and so even though I was talking to the Lord all the time I wasn't fitting the mold I thought and so I just love this book because you just bring it down to such a sweet simple practical relationship with the Lord when you think of prayer what are you talking about when when you want to encourage women to have confident conversations with God Well you know I I would say in in leadership one of one of my desires just to see girls have a a close intimate relationship with their their heavenly father. And you know it takes intention -ality and I used I think of it almost like a marriage. You know the the the word of God talks about how we're his bride of Christ and so our relationship with father. That's one of the ways he describes it and so when you look at your relationship. You're you're closeness to guide. You can look at it somewhat like a marriage In it takes intentional Times with your spouse to cultivate a close relationship and that's sacred that's very special in beautiful and and and personal And when it comes to prayer I think so often I would. I would say this about myself as well we can. We can struggle to think that our prayers to be perfect and we think about what that almost like gods of valuating keeping keeping score on how articulate. We are and the words we use and our sentence structure. And if you're an if you're like to write it which both of us do you can kind of analyze you know out of this sound with this sound right and but I think I think that all of us can tend to do that no matter what and and feel like we're failing to conversation with God and and and it is God just loves to hear us. He loves to communicate with US. He loves to be with US and he is not analyzing any. Ah Years just like Oh wow she is wanting to be with me and you know the beauty of our Christ relationship are intimate relationship with him. Is that it's anytime anywhere. Yes and and so you know I I have just so grown in. I just talking to him all the time you know. And and listening for his voice Britain thing for his guidance and and so the more. You're with him the more you're you understand him. The more you just like the marriage right example or it could be a friendship. Y- God's our relationship with God is called a friendship too so you can look at it that way but when when you first get to know you're getting to know a friend you know the conversations you have with them are how you get to know them right in the more you converse with them. The more you understand them. It's the same way with God. And and so you know our our personal times with personal devotional time with him You know devotion towards is just an immense love and intense love for them that you long devotion is his long to be with them and so are devotional time with the with the heaven. Our heavenly father is is so important because it is in that time that he can. We really get to know him. Exactly that feeds all the other time you know Amen. Well I was looking through through this book and I thought you know what I really think. This would be an amazing discipleship tool because you really just talk about the different aspects of prayer and then you just got some practical interactive things that I just thought you know what this is what we need. I think sometimes an oil I love the word of God I value the word of God but if we only have the word of God were settling for a monologue. God is speaking to ask but when we learn out a poor out our heart him it does become that holy conversation. Yeah however I don't know about you but I've not ever heard the audible voice of God and so I used to think that God was at speaking to me. What would you say to that girl is like well? People tell me that God's wants to speak but I don't know how to hear him you know I think the Voice of God is so multifaceted We have to be careful to think. He has to speak in a certain way because I think he can he can. He can speak through you right now to me right Whether that's through which he has still Anna just in our conversation. I'm so encouraged by it too. That's the voice of God right. The Voice of God could be a friend in your life that saying. You know you need to think about this. This is hurting your relationship with God. That's the voice of God You know the Voice of God can be through a a book that is is graced with the word of God in it and Is Truth to us to encourage us in our faith. That's the voice of God and sometimes there is whether it's like an audible voice which I believe God can't speak in an audible voice. 'cause he's got. I don't WanNA limit him but I too like you would say that is very rare in my life. I think there's I can say there's two times in my life where I felt. I heard God speak to me. Was it audible? Was IT in my mind. You know I I don't know but I know it was God right right and you know it was God and there. It's been a long time since I would say that. I had an experience like that so sometimes we can go. Well is he still speaking to me? You know because and yes he is. We don't want to limit how God speaks. You could be in. This has happened to me. I've been in a grocery line ready to check out and buy groceries. Felt in my spirit. I should pay for the girls. The girl in this instance who is purchasing groceries and frienemie actually in the story. That's coming to my mind. I think is in. She believes but there was a girl in front of me who I sensed needed me to pay for her cupcakes. I paid for her cupcakes. Didn't know who she was found out later she attended the church. I didn't know that tended our church and had no money that day. It was her son's birthday and she felt God told her to go in the grocery store by cupcakes. And she didn't know how she was. GonNa pay for them. Wow Okay so did I hear audible voice. That day no was God leading me and speaking to me through his spirit. Yes even though. It's just it's you know. God's Gaza Big Guide and he. He speaks to us through a lot of different ways. He you know. Do you ever look at a sunset and just fill him speaking to your spirit. I'm a big guy. My God I'm GonNa Take Care of you. I made the sunset you know I made this. Or you're standing by the ocean and you see the power God displayed in the waves in you sense the Holy Spirit speak to. I'm big enough anything you're walking through. That's the voice of God. Amen Amen and and so you know. We don't need to make a complicated. Yeah I was just thinking that I was thinking we keep trying to make God fit our little paradise fit in our little God box and what we think and and we do the same thing to ourselves. We're like I've got to be this and I've got to be that and it's not it's not about checking off the boxes comparing yes. Haring are experience with other girls around us. You know your your responsibility is to follow. Jesus your responsibility and calling us to be in his presence and to seek him with all your heart then however he wants to lead you is his responsibility exactly and hence so we can get so wrapped up in a well. God's doing this in her and Gods God's speaking to her this way you know what that's GonNa Hinder you from hearing what God speaking to you so you really careful with. I can fall into that trap you know and I have to. As we talked about earlier I have to write my thinking. Hey God wants to work in Ne- Personally Amen and you know I I just it occurs to me. We're living in a culture even a Christian culture that we think that that phrase God wants to use me mean something big and extraordinary and I look at what God's done through your women's ministry and now you're having designed for life events to in Dover and how many thousands of women Oh my goodness we well Joanna's amazing. We have a record number registered this year. Eight thousand seven hundred something like that already or eight hundred eighty registered so. It's IT for next October. That's for next October. And we're recording in December and were. Yeah it started with three hundred seventy four girls years ago. It's amazing and I would say to every girl out there. Just keep walking leap walking in. What God's called you to you know so often I see girls. They look at this goal for their lives. Like an and I describe it as like. They're climbing a mountain and they're looking. They're looking at the summit and they're like I WANNA be there. That's where God's called me too and it could be that God's called them there I I don't know but the problem is they're not keeping their eyes on the path and and the path is so beautiful if you if you use the analogy of climbing a mountain if you've ever done any hiking you know when you start at the base of the mountain it's very wooded and it's hard to see it's hard to see where God is leading in this with this illustration but but you have to focus on the path because there is beauty in every step there. There's there's responsibility in every step. And if you don't focus on the path you're GONNA YOU'RE GONNA potentially fall off the edge nervously. You'RE GONNA miss out on the view. The gorgeous gorgeous view around the bend. And because your eyes are so fixated on the summit and and so you know when God called me just to use this as an illustration with God called me to lead James River. The women have James River I felt him speak to me that someday autumn which are auditorium says seeds three hundred three thousand four hundred people that someday the auditorium would be filled with women we had never had an event that was more than a few hundred and I was like. How would that ever happen? And I doubted. That could be possible because I'd never seen it happen. But he he said I'm calling you to this and I want you to start stepping out in faith and so that I did that first year. We had no money. I had no team and I started that this conference and and just trusting that God if I would if I would step out in faith he was big enough to do the rest and and so in there again. It doesn't have to do with numbers it has to do with obedience. Enduring wet has got speaking to you. You know it could be a variety of things. But it's it's stepping over your questions and being trusting that if God's leading you to do something he he's going to provide everything you need to accomplish his will So it's it's an incredible story. Huby and I I just I love ministering to two women and I love seeing them grow in His grace and grow in faith and growing confidence in him and that's what she praises about. I you know. Prayer is the baseline for everything. Amen has a believer man. So that's my hope for every girl they would. They would grow in their understanding of WHO? God is and what he can do in through them. I love it Oh my goodness. I could just talk to you forever but I just I just want you to know God. His used you significantly in my life in in some pivotal ways. Al I thank you for not for not staying comfortable for not just saying you know what? I'm just a shadow kinda girl. I'm just the background kind of girl that you were willing to let God call you forth and step out in faith and and you know again. I just want to say to those listening. Please don't get enamored with the huge dream. Yeah because you'll miss his presence along the way. Yeah and I think you can hear in Debbie's heart in her voice just how much she loves. Jesus and isn't that you girls listen you ministry girls. Isn't that what we want to replicate? Yes that's what we want to replicate and I would love to. Have you pray over our girls out there As we close our podcast time together. Well let me say first. Every girl who's listening God has a planet purpose for your life. He wants he wants to use you in whatever setting you're in he wants to use you to bring the atmosphere of faith into your homes. Yes in tier workplaces. He wants you to embrace the truth about who he created you to be so you can represent him to the world around you and it may look different from Joanna and I it. It's a big deal to God. He men every platform of ministry. Whether it's to our families whether it's being a servant in our churches were whether it's in a work environment every platform is important. Every platform has the potential to build the Kingdom and reveal. God's grace to the world so heavenly father right now I pray for every girl listening and maybe a guy out there to guide you every person within Within range of our voices today. God I pray that the words that we have spoken that they would go deep within their spirit guide that maybe for for someone out there that just fill has felt like getting up. Felt like they're not enough felt lake that they can't go on. God I pray right now that you had occurs God that you are with him that your presence would just invade that space right now. Wherever they're at God they would send Hsu God God that you have created them to be enough and you want to provide all that. They need for whatever they're facing today. God I thank you God for every leader out there. God I pray that our conversation would have sparked a just an excitement within them it enthusiasm within them. God for what you WanNa do in and through them God that navy the things that you have places. Maybe you've planted a seed of an idea in their hearts and they're like how could that ever happen? I don't feel like I'm I don't feel like I would. It takes God cut. It's you're working in and through them. That will accomplish. It helped them to look to you. Guide Bhai Faith and then to take the step. Maybe it's just one tiny step by step. Maybe it's it's sharing that dream with someone Godwin ever it is God. I pray that you would help them to do that. Got Him we give you. Glory God give you glory got for all that you are. God we just praise you guys for for your goodness in your grace. It's at work at all our lives. God We thank you for this opportunity and we thank you for what you're GONNA do in Jesus name okay. So what did you think is beautiful heart or what I can tell you from firsthand. Experience deb is the real deal you can learn more about her books and our ministry especially her designed for live conferences. Over at the show notes. Joanna WEAVER BOOKS DOT COM forward slash zero two eight. If you have a friend WHO's fulltime ministry? I hope you'll share this episode. You can do it by clicking on the three dots at the bottom of I tunes or the Upload Simple on spotify in other podcast players and hey if you're in leadership yourself I'd love to invite you to be part of my leadership email list. You'll get a backstage pass to sample sessions of my Bible studies as well as access to the merry hearted leader weapon are in free devotional. I've created just for you. Just go to studies DOT Joanna. Weaver BOOKS DOT COM and sign up there. Well no matter what realm of influence. God is giving you whether it's big or small. God wants to use you right where you are my Brennan. Just draw close to him and let your ministry being overflow of your relationship with guys because you guys. We replicate what we are. And I want to point people to Jesus because that's the only way that any of us will ever learn how to laugh and laugh and lead like Jesus see you next time.
030: Staying Power with Carol Kent | The Living Room
"Tools for living room to grow a space of grace to become everything got wants to be. You're listening to the Living Room. Podcast with Joanna. Weaver episode thirty. Wow what a crazy time. Spring Twenty twenty is turning out to be if you're listening to this episode during the months of April or May you know that the entire world has been turned upside down this past month by the Kovic nineteen virus. It can be a scary time but you guys it can also be a time filled with opportunity. When a deadly pandemic hit Rome in the third century nearly everyone scattered to save their lives but it was the early Christians who stayed back to Minister to the sick and dying their selfless act. In time of danger did more to spread the gospel than any any sermon. That could have been preached. And if God's grace was sufficient for them it's going to be sufficient for us in Psalm. Thirty four nineteen. The Living Bible tells us the Goodman does not escape all troubles he has them too but the Lord helps in in each and everyone in today's episode Carol can't is going to talk about a time when an unimaginable tragedy slammed into her family's life but you know what God better there and he not only gave her the gray she needed. He used that tragedy to perform his purposes. I hope you enjoy this interview. I certainly did well. It is always such a joy to talk to carol. Can't she? Is Literally one of my favorite people in the universe. She is an author and a speaker. She's actually the founder of speak up ministries. Which is just an amazing ministry to equip the next generation of speakers and writers. She's also on the founder of speak up for hope a nonprofit organization that benefits a prison inmates in their families. Which you're gonNA understand that a little bit more as we talk. She has written more than twenty bucks and she and her husband. I've had the delight of hearing Carol's ministry firsthand in sitting down and getting to know you guys better and you guys are the real deal. My friend Joanna. It is so good to hear your voice today and thank you for that. I love being with you. I love collaborating with you in ministry and I just feel like our hearts beat together when it comes to doing kingdom work and wanting to give our best for God's glory so that ministry can be multiplied globally and I know that your heart too. Yeah yeah well I'll tell you it was so wonderful to pick up your new book. This is called steam power building a stronger marriage when life sense. Its worst and you co-authored with another couple that I really love Cindy and David Lambert. Can you just tell us a little bit about how the book came to be? I would love to Dave in Cindy have been in the publishing industry for a number of years. Cindy has been my acquisition editor for a couple of projects and they are always on the staff team when we do the speak up conference every summer. Equipping the next generation of Christian speakers and authors. So we get together. We talk we laugh. We go out for meals together and it has become a strong friendship. Well we had a situation where our only child was arrested of a horrible crime and sentenced to life without the possibility of parole and so we had gone through the throes of having a really happy marriage and then in the middle of having our son all grown up we had this shocking thing as a crisis in our lives and David Cindy had a little different situation where they had a drug addicted grown child who had a child of his own and they wound up raising a granddaughter as if they were the parents and so we said you know what for both of us you know. These are things that we never expected and I wonder what kind of resources there are for couples who are in the middle of their marriages and all of a sudden something comes from without and that might be that. You're dealing with a child who has a severely disabled or there might be a financial upheaval. That totally changes your ability to do what you once were able to do as a family and as a couple Or you might as in our case Have an incarcerated loved one or you have drug addicted child or maybe your spouse has an accident and so you wind up being different kinds of caretaker even though you love that person but there are so many things that threaten our marriages and we didn't ask for them. They seem to come out of the blue and all of a sudden we have to make decisions that will impact the rest of our lives and is Christian couples. We want to do that to the glory of God but we don't know how so. We sat down and talked one night and we went way into the late night hours. And we said as a couple David Cindy and Jean Carole Out We need to write a book about this and little. Did we know Joanna that the book staying power would be born out of that and it has been a wonderful joy to write with like minded couple. Who truly believe that. The to today's problems are in the word of God. Yeah and oh how we need that because I think sometimes as Christians. We really think that life should be easy and that bad things shouldn't happen and so not only are. Our marriage is shaken but our faith can be shaken as well and I just love. How practical this book is as you guys just share the different facets of what that looks like you know before we went on you and I were talking about that like I really really think that we've so Americanized Christianity that we've turned it into something that We believe should never involve heartache or suffering and yet it does. Can you talk about that? You know I think many times. We are geared to thinking. Well if I really pray heard about this or if I studied the Bible more diligently everything is going to be much much more easy to understand and in my case Joanna. I remember when our son was first arrested. I was praying for a miracle of mercy now. How many people have heard our story so that they know that Jason is and Naval Academy graduate. He met and married a previously married woman who had two children there were multiple allegations of abuse involving the biological father of the girls and it appeared he was going to get unsupervised visitation and our son began to unravel mentally emotionally and spiritually and we got a middle of the night phone. Call telling us. Our son had been arrested for the murder of his wife's first husband so we went through two and a half years and seven postponements of Jason's trial. He was eventually convicted of first degree murder and sentenced to life without the possibility of parole and I mean our lives turned upside down and so far now almost two decades I have prayed for mercy and you know my idea of God. Answering prayer would be that he would have a release date and that he would be able to have some form of his family life back and an ability to be projected outside of prison walls. But do you know Joanna? God has not answered that prayer in the way I wanted answered and though we were talking earlier about our expectations of what God will do and when we are praying for something to happen instead got his answered in a way that has allowed Jason to be a missionary behind the razor wire the maximum security prison and we are watching him as he leads. Bible Studies and has shares the Gospel with other inmates and he's been president of toastmasters on the inside teaching inmates. Outta communicate and I have to chuckle. Because I teach the speak up conference so I figure he's a chip off the old black and we are watching God open ministries for us as we developed speak up for hope which is a ministry to inmates and their families that we never would have even thought of had this not happened and so in many ways we forget that first of all were living in a fallen world where bad things do happen to good people even good Christian people and we probably have some listeners right now who are saying. That's true in my case it's true in my marriage and that we are not going to be completely free of stress and pain and suffering until we get to heaven and so it shouldn't be a surprise to us that we're dealing with some of these things but what we will find out in the process. Is that if we have staying power if we stay connected to God's word if as married couples we stay connected to each other and really listen to each other and communicate at a level. But here's the heart of the other one that we can make Christ honoring choices that will mean our time is not wasted and that we can use whatever has happened as a platform upon which we can give God glory and further his kingdom work. Amen Amen. I really do think we forget that. This isn't having Helen Cheeses told his like right in front he goes. Listen in this world. You're going to have trouble and yet we keep thinking that it should all be bliss in and Sunshine and Unicorns in and yet what I love about. The Lord is while he doesn't always interrupt and he doesn't always intervene. He always always redeems bats. Just what you are talking about like. I bet you couldn't have even imagined how the Lord was going to unfold this story and redeem this story when you got that initial news. It stuns me every day when I realized what God is doing in the middle of this journey and unknowns to me one out of every one hundred adults in the United States is in jail or in prison wow or per capita than any country in the world and so I never dreamed there was this huge mission field out there and We have talked to so many couples who in the process of having that interruption. Come into their lives. Saved said got his first a new opportunity out of this a new ministry out of this and as you know I'm married to a pretty fun guide. Gene has a good sense of humor and I had been noticing at home that his pilot black T. shirts was getting shorter and shorter. I said honey. What's happening to your shirts. And he said you'll find out soon enough while we were at the prison the next weekend standing in the long lines sometimes up to two hours to get through the security process and I saw a woman turned away and she was sobbing and the rules. Change for what? You can wear inside regularly. And she had on a sleeveless floss in that was against the rules and I suddenly realized Jane had left my the place. Decide me in the line and I saw him emerge from the parking lot where our car was carrying. A black T. shirt. And he walked up to. The woman handed it to her. And said here. Ma'am put this on and go to the front of the line. Have a wonderful visit with your family member. And he came back to where I was standing and I said so. That's what's been happening to your t shirts. He looked down. He said it's ministry and Joanna a month later. I was in Wisconsin speaking and shared the story of the disappearing t shirts and a month later. There was a box on my front porch. It was filled with Black T. shirts note inside said Carol. I heard you speak in Wisconsin and I work for a company that makes T. shirts and I can buy them very inexpensively. Please use this fax of t-shirts toward your husband's t shirt ministry through his trunk distribution program. We hope it helps some families along the way at I had to chuckle. Because so many times we never dream that the unanticipated journey were Unin. Our marriage could actually lead to launching something positive and good and yes fall and that people in the process will be blessed and in one of the chapters in staying power is about serving while suffering and sometimes when we are in the middle of our suffering place with whatever is happening in our marriage maybe it is dealing with the repeated addiction of a loved one. And you've gotten so far and then they go back to wrong choices again and we forget that out of that sometimes springboards the most amazing ministry opportunities and I tell couples. Look around and see one person who needs help worse than you do do a tangible act of loving kindness in. Jesus name for that person and watch what it does to your own heart and you know Joanna when you give to others the joy that comes back to you is just overflowing with encouragement and so suddenly in the process of your own pain. You see God's incredible splashes of joy along the journey and that's what we're experiencing. I love that so much you know. I think that we get. It's so backward and we think that life should be trouble free when God like you said. This is a fallen world. So we're going to have trouble but God harnesses the very things Satan means for our destruction uses it for good and I love. I love that I mean and yet it's so easy and I'd love to have you talk about that. It's so easy to get so inward focused and so overwhelmed by our pain that we we don't know how to get to that place where we can even see someone else's need what would you say. Well it's so true and if you are struggling as a couple with one of those very difficult things that has happened gene and I have discovered that it's really important to make what we call predispositions. And those. We call the non-negotiables Joanna it would be the whole idea of the fact that you know you love each other and so you are going to respect the advice and the wisdom of your spouse and you're going to listen to it and if you decide that ahead of time it keeps you from yelling at each other which helps a whole lot. Yes and and then this one has been very important to us to make that that predisposition of knowing ahead of time even when we're under pressure even when we're hurting we are going to serve our spouse sacrificial and you know when when Jason was arrested. Jean brought me coffee in bed every single morning and he still does now twenty years later and he would bring me coffee and he would put his hand on my arm or he would rub my feet. And it was his non verbal way of saying honey. I know you're hurting. I know you ache all over and so do I but I love you so much and that simple sweet gesture of serving me just increased my love for my spouse tremendously in the middle of feeling the pain of what was going on and then we try to practice what we call automatic forgiveness in what it boils down to is even if gene irritates me in and he does occasionally. Can you believe that I can't I know in my heart? I love this man and I know he loves me in so I know his intentions toward me are good and I am going to forgive him even though he has irritated me right now. I'm going to practice automatic forgiveness because I know his intentions toward me are good and he loves me deeply and that gets us through a whole out of trouble to think. In that way nobody Fiji and says be gentle with one another sensitive forgive one another quickly and thoroughly as guiding Christ. Forgave you in this. One is a tough one. I will control my tongue. I'm sure Joanna. You are so close to the Lord that you've never had anything really negative fall out of your mouth. Ver- advert can be intentional about using uplifting and encouraging words and we have tried to make a habit of saying out loud what the other one is doing well and sometimes on our way home from visiting our son at the prison. Gene will say to me honey. You really listened to Jason Well today. He was struggling over an issue in. You heard him out. Instead of being really quick to give him advice he needed somebody to listen more than talk today. And those are the things that make you feel affirmed they make you feel. Lifted up and encouraged tremendously. And I. I always think back. I'm a preacher's kid the oldest of six preachers kids. Maybe that's why I'm a little bit bossy. And I'm a bit of a control freak. Can you imagine that? And I'm the kind of person that would love to put up dealing with Jason's incarceration on a to do list where I could accomplish something having to do with that and then cross it off like I've taken care of this but it doesn't work like that when you live in a day to day ongoing situation that doesn't change but I was thinking back to my growing up years and I heard my dad. Tell about a couple who had been in a very serious automobile accident and the man was able to walk away but his wife was in intensive care for a long time and she had severe scarring and in the middle of a very intense argument. One day he said to her you old scarface woman. You can't you do anything right. And do you know from that day forward even though he asked for forgiveness and even though he loved his wife dearly she said whenever he looked at her? Whether it was a moment of intimacy or a room. She always envisioned that. He saw her as an old scar faced woman. And there are certain things. We can't take back. We can't remove the memory of things like that. It can soften over time but as couples. We can think ahead of time to choose words that are edifying to choose words setup left and to practice being a firmer instead of discourage irs. And I'd like to be around energy giving people and I like to in my marriage try to lift gene up instead of tearing down and that has been really really helpful reminds me of that verse in proverbs. Thirty one that talks about sheet. Does her husband good all the days of allies as in that little piece of advice the law of kindness is on her tongue. That can be hard when we're under stress and one of the things that I've appreciated about this book. Is You guys? Fill it with your own stories. Sending David Tell their stories but you also have stories of of other couples that have walked through difficult things and and I do think sometimes. We don't realize that when we are under stress when something hits our lives that were not going to react the same way and that that can actually become a wedge Utah One of the couples that you know. They'd gone through something. He saw one way she side another and it. It literally began to destroy their marriage. Did you in gene navigate that tension where you might have you might have been processing at one way and he was processing Another while one of the things that we did was to agree to disagree and that was really helpful to respect the fact that I know Genus Intelligent. I know he knows our Sunbury. Well and I know that he is someone. Who evaluates what's going on and he's a problem solver and so. I had to give him in my heart that leeway of making some decisions that might not be my ideal situation but I needed to show respect for him in that way which was really really important for me to do and And then he did that for me in there were ways. He served me When Jason was first arrested people would call relatives good friends and it would take about an hour to explain what had happened because Jason never been in trouble before he was a good kid and and he had gotten lots of medals from the US Naval Academy and he was a stellar student in so people were not understanding how he could have done this horrible thing and it was mentally and emotionally and spiritually draining for me to take those calls because I would live through the emotions of what had happened with. Every single person in gene instantly recognized that that was a place that was not my strength that that it was just making me fall apart and so he took those calls in would explain as much detail as was necessary. While I had a chance to to get a grip on my life and then something for me that was so important and I think together we learned it as as a couple is that we needed to learn how to take timeouts. And what we what really mean by that in this book. Is that when you are in the throes of dealing with a child with autism or maybe you're having adoption issues with this child that you love so much but things are not going well you you need to be able to step outside for a moment. Take a breath of fresh air. Don't always be so involved in the next decision. You have to make that you never give your chance a self yourself a chance to breathe and then this is something. I had never thought a whole lot about before but normally when we have a situation in our marriages that's difficult. One of us is stronger and maybe more rested at a certain time than the other one is in. So give your spouse a break you know. Maybe they just need to take a walk on a day when you're feeling strong and you can deal with the stress. And maybe edgy needs to say on certain days honey. Have Lunch with your girlfriends. I know it's going to be uplifting for you Allio with us today. I'll handle this and so it's really important to do that. And Oh here's a tough one for somebody. Who's a control freak? Like I am accept help from other people. One of the couples we interviewed for this book had insisted child who began to have severe anger issues and so we They wound up with just a very very hard time. She would smear her bowel movements on the wall when she was unhappy. It was a very very difficult intense time for them and they had a precious sister of her husband. The aunt of this girl who had often volunteered to babysit while they went to a movie or just did dinner together and they had never accepted at thinking. Oh it would just be too much work for her to deal with artistic child and they said we needed to swallow our pride and say thank you for offering we would be so grateful to have you come over and that wonderful sister-in-law of friend began to give them one night a week for a date night where she would take care of their autistic child and they would know their child was safe and well cared for and they actually were able to get away and do some fun things together and we all need to be aware of the fact that we need to take timeouts in our marriage. Yeah I love that. I love that well and investing in our marriages and investing in our relationship. Because I think there's so much life that is so demanding one of the things as I was looking through this book is. I just realized this is not just for couples that are in situations And it's not even for couples just for couples who've been married awhile. I think this has a lot of value for young couples. What do you think I agree and one of the things? I'VE NOTICED IN RETREATING CONFERENCE MINISTRY. Joanna is that when I talk to young women who are about to get married. There are often some stresses because some of them are coming from families where their parents are divorced and they have been living in a culture where it's very common for people who even have been married for a number of years to leave each other and so they have fears and they're so afraid that the pressures of life are going to destroy this love they have and there are some Self evaluation tools and couple evaluation tools throughout the book. There will be some little box two areas where you can ask your spouse questions that will help you get to know their personality What they like what? They don't like how they deal with the need for rest. How they view the importance of taking breaks in so there are some fun exercises that will really increase communication. And I think for that young couple vet has not faced any of the really tough issues of life as a couple yet that it is a wonderful way to prepare themselves for the future. Yeah for sure I love. It's just such a practical practical book in one of one of the things you guys do. Is You have a whole back of the book appendix. That has thirteen crisis helped sheets. They they're so fabulous. Thank you for taking time to do that. How can we use them in our situations? I am so glad you asked about that because if you were to ask me what is one of the most helpful things in staying power. I believe it's the crisis help sheets because when you have a situation that comes up and you might be in the middle of finding out you're going to be caring for an aging parent or You are now on the last threat of your last nerve redick regarding. You're addicted childbirth. Or maybe they're your child is struggling with some gender issues which seems to be so common these days. Each one of these thirteen helped sheets is one page long and it gives couples resources. They can go to two day to be able to get some answer some resources some advice and I think when you are in the middle of a challenging situation. It's really wonderful to know. Hey here's a whole list of action steps. I can take right now. That will get me more informed. It will give me a Bible based resource and impractical helps so that I know what to do next will that is really truly one of the beautiful things about this book. It's so practical and you give advice that we can use right away. One of my favorite ones was the ten second. Can you tell us about that? Well this is one of my favorite things in the book Joanna. So I'm so glad you asked cleared. A graph is an author who talks about the fact that sometimes decision making is hard in marriage and yet every single day is filled with the need to make important decisions in. He says he tries to live by the ten second rule. And here's what it is. Just do the next thing. You're reasonably certain Jesus wants you to do and commit to it immediately in the next ten seconds before you change your mind. Now I don't know about you but I have trouble making decisions because I want to evaluate the pros and cons of every decision. I have to May and then take as many days as to try to come up with what I believe. Best Solution and it keeps me from using my wisdom and my biblical insights in just doing the next right thing. And so what? Jean and I got out of this. Ten second rule is that we are to evaluate what the question is that we're dealing with especially as it relates to our son's welfare and we need to be prayed up we need to seek the wise counsel of people who know us know him and know the Lord and talk about what the options are and then as quickly as possible. Make a choice. Do it quickly. And then don't look back and start thinking all. Why did I do that? Why did I say that? Just move forward because you believe it was the reasonable decision. God wanted you to make at that time. It's what Jesus would have you do. And that has saved me so much emotional. Agony to just follow the ten second rule evaluate meditate. On God's were discuss it with your spouse and then move forward. Yeah and I think that's that's especially powerful when we're were in those places of pain and so much is out of control to try to be able to discern what is within our realm and what can we end. I love that you know one of the things that I I'd love to have you talk about because I think it touches to the heart of women. You know we really do. Have this idea of how we want life to go in. We've got dreams for our children we've got we've got this whole of scenario whether it's conscious or unconscious of how our life is. GonNa look ten years down the road twenty years thirty years and so especially I just. I guess. My Mama's heart is touched to think that this was your amazing sign. Who was so incredible with so much potential? And not only that. But you're only sad how I know you've written a whole book on. Lean my Isaac down her out there. You guys need to to read that. But as I've just been working on this book on trusting God in learning to let go in surrender but then hold on in faith. How have you navigated that personally? Joanna it is a one day at a time way to live your life and I say that because I am so much the goal oriented person who wants the five year plan the ten year plan and I want it to work out in a logical order and I have needed to say Lord today I give you this day and one of the things I love doing pro walking. It gives me exercise. I try to walk about three miles a day on my at home days and often gene and I will do that together and we will start to pray and we will just say Lord Right now today we just lift up Jason to you. Fathers encounters people on the prison compound help him to be an encouragement and blessing to them. Lord would you allow him to use his education his biblical knowledge and in his personal relationship with you to encourage somebody today and Lord. Would you allow jean-ann me to help somebody else? Who is on a difficult journey today because we know what pain feels like emotional pain and and not having your expectations for your child's life. Be Everything that you hoped it would be and do you know out of that comes a kind of rippling enjoy that. I can only explain in the supernatural dimension and To Win I think back to speaking in Griffin Georgia one weekend and I had been asked to share our story on our journey with Jason and a couple of days later I got an email from a woman named Tammie Wilson. She said Carol. Thank you for showing compassion for the victims of violent crime. As well as telling your own story she said my own mother was murdered. Thirteen years ago in a botched robbery in Saint Petersburg Florida. She said I looked your son up on the Internet and I discovered. He's in the same prison where the man who murdered. My mother is serving his lab. His name is Matthew. Ben Rodriguez. She said for the last several years. I've been praying that someone would share Jesus with Matt. Do you think that Jason would try to meet him and share the Gospel Story with Matt while I'm not allowed to initiate calls to my son. I respond to digitize collect calls so I printed that letter mailed it to Jason a couple of days later I was at a visit. I said Jason. Do you know Matt Rodriguez. He smiled. I said mom. He's my best friend. He's in my counseling class. He's the dynamic Christian only to open the same quiet after counseling class. I said he met is your Middle Name. Ben He said yes. How would you know that he said Matthew Ben Rodriguez she said yes he said will then that I have a letter for you? Handed Matthew the letter from the daughter of the woman he shot and killed in this robbery saying she was praying for him to come to faith and he began to weep and Jason said mom. You're going to meet Matt today. Because his sister's coming to visit he'll be out in the visitation area. A half hour later out came his sister. Mattress called came in greeted his sister with tears running down both cheeks. He came over to our table. Get down on his knees he said. Mrs Kent Thank you. Thank you for sending the letter. I had already written a five page letter to Tammie Wilson and her family asking for their forgiveness but he said I have had no address to send the letter to you. Ask Her if she would receive my letter. I said I met. I got home and I. E Mail Tammie Wilson. She emailed to redress back the same day in since that day. Multiple letters pass back and forth between Matt Rodriguez and Tammie Wilson and Matt and Kim. Tami's sister and Matt and the brother Patrick who was in high school when his mother's life was violently taken and there has been forgiveness and restoration and reconciliation. That I can only explain by God's mathematics in Joanna. I just want everybody listening to our voices to know that no matter what is happening in your personal life in your marriage you might feel like God has let you down in that. There's no more hope you might think. Oh I'd never dreamed I could be in this much pain and you might even feel disappointed in God because you've tried to be faithful to him and it just feels like he's not coming through for you. I want you to know that nothing has to be wasted. That what has happened. You can choose to make an offering to the ward in and I just even know as I'm talking to you. I have my hands raised up saying I relinquish to you. My expectations of what? I thought my marriage would look like what I thought. My life is a mother would look like I never dreamed it would look like sitting in a visitation area in a maximum security prison with razor wire all around me. That was not my dream but Lord I will thank you for the surprising joy filled moments and opportunities in ministry. You give to me as a result of what has happened and I make them an offering to you and all the while I am focusing on eternity because I know of this life is not all there is something more is coming Edwards good and we celebrate that e men eight many men. Oh and how much we missed when we get paralyzed at that point of pain and I love. I just loved that you guys have allowed God to get his hands on you to heal your heart to to keep your marriage strong Guys for paying the price. I'm sure there have been many times. When it would have been easier to give up. It would have been easier not to even talk about your situation especially as a public figure and yet you have just giving God access to it all and I. I rejoice with you at the beauty the beauty. That's come ashes and the gold. The gold that has come from the darkness the treasures of darkness that God has for us. But I I keep thinking you mentioned that had none of that would have happened. Had that young woman not been willing to forgive and I think this speaks so much to our marriages because sometimes are hurt comes out sideways at one another. Sometimes perhaps it's the spouse who has wronged us that they've been faithful or they betrayed us. How how do we walk in forgiveness in our marriages and in art lives? I think walking in forgiveness is an UN choice and I love the fact that Forgiveness isn't just a one time choice. It's a daily choice because the enemy comes. Addison says Oh. Don't you forgive him? He made this bad choice. He hurts you. He made your life miserable so when the enemy comes with those negative thoughts we need to Say Lord. I choose to forgive him again today. Lord I choose joy I choose to walk in fe I choose to put my focus on that which is eternal and I believe. It isn't not just a one time. Occurrence forgiveness is a daily sometimes even a moment by moment choice. And what's interesting? Is that it sets you free. And sometimes we forget that unforgiveness makes us a prisoner of our own making and That is a horrible place to be in and we want to say to regarding forgiveness. Joanna that forgiveness does not navigate the wrong done to you but it sets you free from bitterness and anger and ongoing immobility it. Such you to be free to walk in joy and in love and to move forward in a new direction. Amen Amen. I just think of those women out there that are have had their lives. Radically changed by someone else's choices Broken by the evil that we unfortunately have brought on ourselves in this fallen world and yet when we give our hearts accent give God access to our hearts. He really is able to change us to use everything that the enemy intended for evil Good and I just I would. I'd love to have you pray for those people out there that that just feel like everything's been ruined like every thing's been ruined in. I don't see how it will ever be alright which you leftist to the Lord. I would love to. Oh father being in your presence is so sweet you are the God who loves obsess and I lift up to you every woman who hears my voice right now who has been wronged. She's been hurt. She might be in a situation where her once brightly lit. Faith fire. Feels like it's turning into an ass sheep and Lord. I pray that you would be her healer in her hope. Lord I pray that you would hope to see your face and to hear your voice. Say I won't ever leave you. I won't ever walk away from you. I have loved you within ever lasting love Lord. Right now we place the hundreds of situations that are represented by those who are listening right now into your hands and Lord with open hands. We say God. I give up my control over my husband. My child my parent- my circumstances my grandchild my financial issues my health crisis. God we give to you what we cannot control and we we say Lord. Give me the wisdom to make the next right choice based on your truth. Lord Open our hearts to guidance from people who spend time with you and help us to be willing to receive the love and help from those who surround us but most of all help us to put our focus on that which is eternal that heaven is awaiting all of us who know you personally and one day we will walk in a world where there is no more pain no more hurt. No more sorrow no more disappointment and until we get truly home to have an Lord we will be faithful even if in this world. We don't understand why you have allowed certain things to happen. We will still choose to trust you in Jesus name we pray Amen. Amen Amen Amen Amen Carol thank you. Thank you so much for your time I just. I'm so grateful that you persevered and that you continue to persevere at the time gods and girls I just WANNA encourage all of us. You know what this walk of. Faith is the long haul. It is a long obedience in the same direction. And but here's the exciting thing. We don't do it alone. The Lord is there and I just sent so strongly as you were praying Carol that there are women today that are tapping in to stain keeping enabling power of God and something is shifting something shifting in your situation not excuse me not just necessarily in your situation girls something being in you now live in that power live in that ebeling strength of the Lord in Carol. You keep writing books. We need you girl. Oh thank you Joanna. And it is such a privilege just to speak and write for God's glory and I know you feel the same way we have a shared mission and I love sharing this mission with you my friend. Have you noticed how the enemy loves to use difficulty to divide us during this quarantine time in all this quote unquote quality time? We've been given during this crisis. Well it might be driving you nuts rather than drawing you close to the people you love so I hope you'll take time to apply the tips. Carol share today wants to give us a new perspective on this time rather than living in the future and worrying about what might happen tomorrow. He wants to give us peace today to help us. Access that space of grace. I've created free devotional. Call be still finding peace in troubled times you can sign up to receive your free copy over at China weaver books dot com forward slash. Be Still and I hope that you'll check out the show notes for Carol's episode. You can find all the links to our new book and all of the good stuff that she offers. Let's use this time to draw closer to God because here's the deal. You guys the same ingredients that inspire fear. The unknown piracy's health crisis danger there. The same ingredients that are needed to build a great faith in her heart toward guy. We don't have to just survive this difficult time. God wants to help us Thri. He wants to teach us how to live and love. Need like Jesus see you next time.
037: Leading with God-Confidence with Esther Littlefield | The Living Room
"Tools living room to grow a space of grace to become everything. God wants us to be. You're listening to the Living Room. Podcast with Joanna. Weaver episode thirty seven. Well Hey there you guys hope you're having a wonderful summer. It's really glorious here in southwest Montana after our long winters I can tell you that the green grass and blue skies and beautiful flowers. Make my heart so happy. Some are always just brings a season abreast for our soul and even a little break in our church scheduled when it comes to our Sunday. School class isn't Bible Studies. But you know what even then we're still praying implanting toward the fall in. Perhaps you are as well so with that a mind. I thought it might be good to spend a few episodes here in the living room focused on Christian leadership my guest. Today is Esther Littlefield. She has a heart for leadership women whether it's in the church or the marketplace and I really think you're going to enjoy our conversation as we talk about leading with God competence if blessed me and I hope it will bless you as well. Well I'm so happy to have with me today. Esther little field there say that again. Well I'm so happy to have with us today in the living room. Esther Littlefield as ter- is a writer and host of the Christian woman leadership podcast. She's also a pastor's wife a mama one and and as founder of Morningstar Media Services and. I'm just telling me what this girl has a lot going on? I'm so happy to have you with assessor. Thank you Joanna. I am excited to be here today. With you We were just chatting a little bit beforehand about being multi passionate women and you You're part of ministry but you also are a businesswoman talked to me. How did that all evolve allow? Do you want the short story or the long story short way? Okay well I I never imagined that would be a business person. So the short story is I went to college for social work. Graduated got a A job right out of college in the social work career and then shortly after that I was invited to direct sales Party where where my friend was selling scrapbooking's lies and I ended up signing up and getting into direct sales And ended up later down. The road had a different company that I was with and that kind of started my entrepreneurial journey and at the same time Had Gotten married and my husband ended up he and I together ended up volunteering in our youth group at our Church. And that eventually led into him. Being hired as the youth pastor after the former youth pastor had moved away so that kind of started our ministry path And then a few years ago I had gotten done with the direct sales company and kind of shifted. My focus back to writing which I've always loved. And so that's where my writing on my blog has has really been focused And it's all kind of just weaved together like God has brought all these pieces together for me at different places but About three and a half years ago I started my business morningstar media services and it was at a point in our family where it was kind of like my decision. Had to be okay. I'm either going to do something. They're going to go back to that direct sales company which I didn't really want to do or I'm going to have to get a fulltime job or have to figure out something else to do to earn some money and be at home which is really what I wanted to do. And that's where that business started and it was such a blessing to be able to use all that I had learned along the way in all those different career paths and bring it all together and still be able to be at home and raise my daughter so hopefully that makes sense. But that's kind of how this is all all gone altogether right that whole idea of being multi. Passion has kind of been my journey as well. I've been blessed. We're in bend in Ministry for many many years but I was blessed to be able to stay at home with my kids and yet I did things on the side because you know always nice to have that extra money for things and in the writing came along and it's just interesting. God doesn't a has not allowed me to just follow one little path. It's been kinda little parallel pass in and like you. It's kind of fun to see how then he brings them together and so I assume that's kind of what inspired your Christian women leadership podcast yet. Yeah so the. Podcasts came a little over a year ago because in my business with Morningstar I was working on the behind the scenes kind of side of a lot of online businesses so other people who had businesses where they were doing coaching or consulting or writing and speaking and I was doing a lot of the tech and a lot of Support things on their website and their social media. And I was a podcast addict. I have loved podcasts for longtime and I had always had in the back of my mind Likud like to have a podcast at some point and I ended up having a client who had a podcast and she wanted me to run her podcast for her. Basically so I learned everything that you have to do on the bi on the behind the scenes side of a podcast a learned a lot of strategy and a lot of things from her and so out of that I ended up starting the Christian woman leadership podcast because I had always had a heart for women who have a desire to lead Or who have been ended up in leadership roles even though they may be Didn't anticipate leading in their lives So that could be both in ministry which has been my journey but also for the women who are in the workplace or in business who have leadership roles or you know are influencing others in some way which I think we all are so my desire with the podcast was to Encourage those women wherever they are in their lives to be able to to do what God is calling them to do But to take this role of leadership seriously. Yeah you know. I think there's a lot of women who who may be have a desire to lead. But they don't know where to begin. there's also women who are leading in they really don't want to. I'm what would you say what he say? That woman who's like I feel God doing stuff in me. I don't even know where to begin that. That's so the story of many women that I taught to and I think for me I didn't even recognize that God had been calling me into leadership until probably four or five years ago. Even though when I look at my whole journey I can see the signs along the way So for the woman who's maybe in that role of okay I've either been thrown into a leadership role and I didn't expect it or maybe I'm starting to sense. Scott is calling me to something and I don't know what it is. I think the first thing is to really just to sit and pray and talk to God about what he's you know. Listen to what he's telling you And to look for the signs around you of what he's already doing through you because oftentimes I think we're already leading in one way or another. It might be that we're leading our children at home or it might be that we're leading a small group in our church in sometimes women don't even recognize like that's actually a leadership role right so to look at the signs and maybe reflect on your on your life this point and if you start to kind of think about all the different steps God has brought you on you might start to see some Parallels or some common themes where you can see the places where you are thriving the most or the places where you sense that God is using new the most effectively and where you are most excited to be serving so I think that's one step is just to kind of sit and listen and reflect and then I think the other thing to do is just to start taking action so I think that there's so many times where we sit and we wonder what am I supposed to be doing with my life. I have this running joke with my husband where every other month or so. I'll look at him. Say What am I doing with my life like I? Just you know I'll I'll question myself And it's silly because I know I'm doing a lot of things with my life and I know got his using me but We sometimes are looking for that. One thing that one calling are that one special dream that we're supposed to have or do and I think most of the time leadership is simply doing the thing that God has called you to right now and just living out your everyday life in a way you know in a purposeful way in a way where you are intentional. About how you're living in how you're leading others around you and so you can reflect and think and pray but you also have to go out and just start doing something and see where that path takes you. Yeah I liked that so much you know. One of the most powerful things I've ever heard was Henry. Black Abe's book experiencing God Way Way Way back when he suggested rather than trying to find guts well to just look for where God is working and join him there. Yeah and that ask been such a free thing because I think we can make you know purpose. We hear that word so much. You had to find your purpose. You GotTa Find Your Passion. And we're like we can really just say. Lord gave me is to see what you're up to and what you might want me to do to be a part. I think it's being because then we get to become what the Lord wants is to be rather than discover it and then somehow fit into this huge role of expectations that that sometimes can really trip is up. Absolutely what would you say to that girl who's like I m I I have this really big big desire and I've got this big big dream but the doors just keeps shutting on it? Yeah that's that's a hard place to be at. I would say I. I've experienced that myself so I'll share an example. When I was fairly newly married I I mentioned that my husband and I had been volunteering in our youth group and we were also involved in a small group in doing some different things and there was a group of women that were starting a new ministry at our church and I kind of wanted to be involved and so I had put my hat in the ring to be one of the people on the team and I can't even remember all the details because it was a long time ago but I didn't end up getting selected to be part of that ministry and there was some reasons for like that sounds kind of mean but there was there was some actual qualifications that you needed to be doing that ministry and and I didn't get it and I felt like it was a closed door. I felt like it was kind of a slap in the face. Got I wanted to serve you? I wanted to help. And why didn't I get to do that? And looking back I can totally see God's hand in it that I was not ready to be in that kind of ministry role I did not have enough spiritual maturity. I had a lot to learn about About marriage and about relationships and about serving God and it was just not the right timing and so you know sometimes when we get those close words we can feel like it means that. We're never going to get to do that. Thing that we that we send got working on our hearts for an so fast forward several years later A different time in my life and God put on my heart to start a women's Bible study at my church and specifically to start a study for younger women who maybe some of them might be newer to faith or were still kind of even on the fence like maybe. They hadn't even made a decision to follow. Jesus and I had a few friends who kinda fit in that category and I I question myself. I was like oh I don't know. Should I do this? I don't know if I'm qualified. I don't know if I'm really you know well educated enough to do the study or whatever but I ended up jumping in and just doing it and out of that came so much fruit and so many blessings and women truly got to dig into God's word so much deeper and deepen their faith and Really we saw a lot of miracles out of that study and then many other groups of formed after that and so when I look back. I'm like okay that first time when I wanted to serve women and wanted to be in the ministry role reaching women. I wasn't ready for it and it wasn't the right timing so I just had to keep doing what God had put in front of me at that time which was just continuing to volunteer in the youth group and so on And then later God brought me to a place where I was ready and where it was the right timing for me to start serving in that way and so I think for that woman who's maybe feeling doors are closing. I would say give up on that dream but also just ask God to use you in whatever you're doing and serve him in the best you can in wherever he has placed you right now And continue to to pray that he will show you your next steps. That is so good you know. That's kind of my journey as well and you know we can feel so resentful and I think I've seen a lot of women derailed by just that they were shut down when it really is an opportunity it really is mercy that God says No. You're not quite ready yet. But for me you know having this burning burning passion to speak to women In my early twenties but it wasn't for eighteen years until God opened the door and can we be faithful. I think this has been the most huge thing for me. Can I be faithful? Ministering in the shadows can I just can even be faithful serving someone else's dream in someone else's ministry because if I can be faithful they're like the Bible says if were faithful in little then he can trust us with much so I love that story. I think I think I would say to those girls so a message that God dropped in my heart. You know what deepen the message. Let God brought in the ministry. And if we'll just fall in love with him if will learn how to love his word than he does. He'll he'll open doors but he does so wisely. Because here's the reality. We will replicate what we are. So I'm only an inch deep. That's what I'm going to replicate so I can trust the Lord when he goes nope not yet. It's not rejection it's direction. So that's that's awesome. What do you think though that woman who like I know? There's something God wants me to do. But I am terrify. I am terrified. The door has been opened. But I've said No. No no no no not me. Yeah but we can say to that girl. Oh my goodness I think this is where you really have to dig into. Where you're valuing your worth comes from. Which is one hundred percent from? God and not from what that thing is that you're sending him calling you to do so For example for me when I started the podcast I believed God was was calling me to start. This podcast I I was terrified. Even though I was excited I was still terrified of but I really had to just decide to let go of the outcome of whatever was gonNA come out of it and say okay. I will be obedient with what you're asking me to do and I'll do it to the best of my ability. I'll use all the gifts and skills that you've given me up to this point in serve in that way but if we attach are worth and our value to how it turns out to the number of followers that we have or the number of people that show up to Bible study when we say we will lead it or the number of people that show up to that you know talk we're giving at mops or whatever it is. I think that's where we get into trouble when we start to associated value are worth on the outcome of what we're doing versus is having the confidence in the security in who. God says we are in who he is and then simply saying okay. I will be obedient to what you're asking me to do. So the fear never goes away. I don't think the fear will ever go away every time I think. Okay I've gotten you know I did that. Big thing that someone else may be. Oh that was so scary and I might have been a little scared about it then the next time. God asked me to do something. I still get scared but it. Just you build confidence by taking action and by doing those things and taking those baby steps of faith when you say okay I will follow you. I will do what you're calling me to do. It will build you up and give you more confidence than next time. God puts release scary thing in front of you. I love it. I actually did a whole podcast on doing it afraid. I think we thinking that we've got to be ready. We've got and you know there's wisdom. We need wisdom. We we need to count the cost of the tower before we build it in all of that but I think when the Lord says yes please. It's time to be willing to step out and I would add. Be Be willing to fail. I think we're so terrified of failure that we fail to even try and for me. I can look back in. You know it's interesting as you were talking. I was remembering the Lord had really laid on my heart. I knew it was him. Here's how I knew. I tested it because I have lots of ideas. Your idea girl. Aren't you as yeah. Let's I have always read it by God and I have to be sure that I don't just rush into it because I you know I've I've got all these ideas of these mighty things I can do forgot so I'd really tested it. I talked to talk to my husband. I talked to some advisers and it was a vision for a ministry to to Minister to Christian women. A Lot. Like what you're doing and so I had this idea. I had the framework for a website. It was going to be cool and part of it was a podcast so plunked down a big chunk of change to to do a podcast on a certain at work and And I did it faithfully but you know what other pieces that I had just said. Okay Lord I'm going to do this but these are the other pieces the other people that I'm going to need to. Have you? Bring my way never materialize and and you know. I I still go I wonder what that was all about but I just had to be at peace that I had obeyed Fred. That was whatever he was going to do with it. I mean never know until heaven without was all about but I did the thing that he asked I think so. Many times we do. We get so caught up in the results and we miss out on the beauty of just simply obeying simply obeying but that takes confidence and I you and I were talking about really how much we do need to walk in God confidence. Can you talk a little bit about that? Yeah it's something that God has really been working on in me for for many years And I just think it is kind of the foundation of whether or not we will be effective in our roles and that can be whether you're effective as a wife. A mom a friend a leader you know a pastor's wife whatever role you might be in if you are lacking in confidence. You're probably always going to struggle and that pretty much is my story for many years. I didn't really understand confidence and I didn't have confidence And so I struggled for a long time because I was doing what I mentioned earlier. I was always looking for something outside of God. In addition to God to validate me and to give me worth or to to show my success and all of those things and all the other people that I was turning to would ultimately fail me and would ultimately let me down and so I would ultimately always be struggling and thinking I have you know. I'm not good enough or I'm not doing the things that I should be doing because I wasn't really resting my my complete and utter in in God alone so that's why I think it's so important. I think that if we don't have it it has a lot of really negative consequences for us and if we truly understand it and if we can truly build it then it will make all the difference it whenever we are going to take those steps of faith going out and doing different things that got might be asking us to do. Yeah but you know it's it's so easy to say it so you just say walking confidence but I can hear that girl on the other side of this podcast going. Yeah what how? What does that even look like? What would you say yeah I? There's there's so much to it that I would say that the first thing is to really kind of assess where you are like to really evaluate where you're at with your understanding of confidence and How how much competence? You have essentially For me know looking back in my life I mentioned my journey so really growing up as a child. I was super insecure. I struggled a lot with insecurity and just never feeling like I had the ability to speak up the ability to say what I wanted to say. I struggled even just to say hello to people when they talk to me. You know Just was always super shy introverted. But but to an extreme of like being afraid you know and so I would say that when you're in that place of being fearful it's it's it's helpful just to to acknowledge it and say okay. I'm recognizing have confidence. I'm not I'm not secure in. Who GOT HIS MAMIE TO BE? I think to another piece is to really understand what we mean by confidence and I know you mentioned you know this God confidence and that's really how I view it too is. That confidence is not about you. It's about the God who lives in you and so it starts with having a really clear understanding of scripture and about what God says about himself and about what God says about you and that's kind of where I start with When I talked to people about this is we need to start with the truth and we need to understand the truth and then we need to start believing the truth getting it into our hearts and our minds and then we start walking in that truth so if you try to start just going out and being confident in your own strength you're not GONNA do it. You're you're just gonNA fail because again you're not going to be basing it on the right thing so you have to really base confidence on the right thing and not on your yourself in your own abilities because again other people and yourself you will always be let down by others in by yourself because we're not perfect people. There's no way that I can always be confident in myself in my own abilities. It's not possible. Yeah I know for me. One of the big big steps and it happened. Interestingly during the time that I was waiting like we talked about earlier that inbetween time. Where you have that burning passion and then the fulfillment of that As I was really I don't even know how to explain it but just making myself available to guide and seen my weak spots. I think confidence symptoms we think is just ignoring our weak spots but actually takes a lot of courage to invite God into those broken places and I had. I had been very insecure. Had some really painful things happen in junior high? That gratefully actually brought me to my knees. Before the Lord in to a point of really surrendering all that I was to him. I knew he'd even me gifts and talents but I knew that if I took them and rent ran with them than I would be creating something you know that was built on me and not on God and I knew I also knew myself enough to know that that was not going to end. Yeah I think if we are available to God if we're really tender and we let him put his finger on our stuff and we we ask for forgiveness we ask him to change our heart. He is so faithful to do it and for me. It's been so exciting as as I've just cooperated with that process of him having his way in me It's actually been those broken messy places that guy has been able to use and give me a message to share with other women and share and I think I think I would say that to that girl who feels so insecure invite God into that place of fear. Let him deliver you from all your peers. But also don't you think we've got to get over waiting to feel? Don't feel confident a lot. But I know God's asking me to do something in so as I step out you know. He's faithful to be there. Yeah Yeah Yeah. I think that confidence really comes down if you if you study it in scripture a lot of the Times that the word confidence is is translated into English. The original Greek or Hebrew word actually is has a meaning of trust. And I just love that. It's a reminder that where am I placing my trust? Am I placing my trust in God? Am I relying on him to give me everything? I need to do what he's just asked me to do Or PUTTING TRUST IN MYSELF. And that's my biggest. That's probably my biggest battle of my life. You mentioned the word surrender to and as a perfectionist who likes to get things right and do do the best at everything. In my life I do not like surrendering control. I like to be able to know the plan. And have all the steps lined out and know exactly how I'm going to get it done and make sure that I do it better than everyone else? I mean that sounds obnoxious. But that's kind of how I have. You know like I said it in the in the younger years I was super shy and nervous but I was really good at school like I figured out. Academics was my thing and I was able to kind of exceed their and so I started to place my trust in myself because I could do well at those things but then God us some things in my life later on that totally destroyed my ability to put my trust in myself My marriage I thought I had marriage figured out. I thought you know what I've done this whole dating thing right. You know my husband. I dated. We we waited for for Intimacy until marriage. We did all the right things on paper but then we got to a place in our marriage where I thought it was going to end and that brought me to a place like you said where I had to invite God in and say I cannot do this on my own I cannot. I have no idea what the answer is and I had to start putting my trust in God to repair that and to bring that back. Same thing with my parenting. I have been brought to my knees in parenting because I have not been able to figure out what to do at times and it's just you know. I only have one child but that God has challenged me with that one child more than I ever would have anticipated and again. It's been a place of surrender to say. Okay Lord. I know you have called me to be the wife to Scott. I know you have called me to be the mom to my daughter But I sometimes I just don't know how to do it and I need your strength. And so it's a it's a regular surrendering and irregular putting my trust in him for giving me the strength to to do these things And so that's where I really think. Confidence is about trust. And it's about trusting God to be your source of strength to do whatever he's calling you to do. That's so good. I love that. I'm writing a book on trusting God. So I'm going to have a look up those versus love. I love that yet. So Fun even though printing it's so freeing when we realize it's not all up to yes. It's not up to me. 'cause it's terrifying. It is all up to me even those of us. Who are maybe more confident than others? I mean that's a terrifying place to be but when I realized that the best kind of leadership is a partnership with the Lord then That's so free you know I was thinking I know there have been periods of time in my life. Where when I wasn't doing so good at home when I wasn't doing so great as a mom or or as a wife sometimes those of us who are driven and gifted will just pour ourselves into ministry or will pour ourselves into business but God really is interested about the whole person and and I love that about him that he's like no. I'm not going to let you escape. I want you to flourish in every place I put you. Yeah what would you say that would be as you kind of navigated that with the Lord and let him get his hands on you You and I had been talking about you. Know that the best kind of ministry and flourishing really does operate out of our walk with the Lord. How has he drawn you? Closer to him. I think that really one of the biggest turning points for me was in that time in my marriage when I thought things were where we weren't sure where things were going to go. I mean we never wanted divorce to even be on the table and my husband was the was a youth pastor at the time. So you know that's really not a a fun thing to be doing or talking about when you're in ministry and I felt so alone I felt like no one could understand. I did thankfully God brought some some close friends into my life to help through that time but really it came down to a women's retreat that I went to wear God's showed me what I had been doing and what I had been doing was I had been expecting my husband to make me happy. And I had been putting all the pressure on him and our relationship to fulfill me instead of turning to God as my number one source and so around that time I started committing to digging into God's Word on a daily basis and I had grown up in the church I had I mean. My grandparents were missionaries. My other grandparents were pastors. Like I knew all the Bible answers you know I knew all the right things to say and do so. I had figured out how to kind of appear really spiritual without going super deep with God and so it was kind of around that time where I started really getting into God's word and being Just turning to him first and foremost before my husband before friendships I also started to like you said kind of this whole person idea started to take better care of myself and kind of do some things to help myself stay healthy because I think that affects our our overall you know ability to function in life but really the foundational part of that was Committing to getting into God's word and that's around that time when I started kind of Going to Bible Studies and just being more engaged in fellowship around God's word and that was really probably the place where I recognize that that actually makes a huge impact you know and within a year or two we really started to come out of that season and then a little while later is where got called me to that Bible. Study that I mentioned where then I was able to take what he'd been working on in me and help encourage other women to like. Get into God's word when you are in his word regularly when you are turning the him first and foremost I still. Don't get it right all the time. I mean there's definitely still times where I don't do this right but I have just seen the impact it makes on my ability to do life that I I don't ever want to go back to trying to to get through my days. My weeks without him a man and isn't he kind that he'll let us coast for a while and then he'll yeah you'll let us hit a wall and on a freshman new. We find out how much we need him. And it's all grace it's all grace. I just love your heart. Esther and I love all of the tools and resources that you have. I hope people go to esther little feel dot com and just kind of poke around your website. I enjoyed that. And all of the wonderful like like eighty podcasts. That of interviews and different things where you talk about different aspects of Leadership. So thank you thank you for letting. God get his hands on you in then. Thank you for being willing to be his hands to others. It's really a beautiful thing. Thank you yeah. Well as we close which you just Would you pray over those girls out there? That are feeling a stirring in their heart. Maybe they've had a dream for a long time and and they just wonder why it's taking so long or that woman who's just feeling like God might be asking her to do something but she's so afraid. Ut to spray for us as we close. Schorr Dear Lord. I thank you so much for every single woman. That's listening right now and for the the passions and the dreams and the gifts that you've given her I pray right now that if she's afraid or unsure or just unclear on where you're calling God that you just start to reveal to her. Her next steps a prayed that she would turn to you first and foremost for her strength for her wisdom and for Just the ability to to step out and for her worth and value for her to know that you made her on purpose. You made her with a purpose and that you have things that she is designed to do and I pray that you would just give her that confidence to take one baby step in that direction and to allow you to guide her as she as she continues in that journey we thank you for this and Jesus name Amen. I don't know about you but it amazes me that God has chosen to link his work here on the Earth with US mere human beings. Well I don't know what the Lord's been stern in your heart. I hope whatever it is. You'll say yes to his call remember. You don't have to do it in your strength. He's not asking you to figure it out on your own. He wants to enable an elite you as she do he asks. I hope you'll check out esters podcast as well as her leadership materials. You can find links over at Joanna. Weaver BOOKS DOT COM forward slash zero three seven. And if you've enjoyed this podcast I hope you'll share it with your friends. Did you know that if you subscribe to the Living Room on any and all podcast players it will automatically show up on your podcast player. Every time a new episode airs. And it's all completely free will listen. Be sure to tune into the next episode. I'll be interviewing cindy owned be. She's the founder of the Popular Website Women's ministry toolbox. And we'll be talking about her new Book Rethinking Women's Ministry. I know you'll be inspired so until next time. Keep walking in God confidence. My friend is going to give you everything you need to live and love and lead like Jesus.
"So this took place years ago. I had my own paranormal investigation company and we were hired on by family friend to investigate his million dollar home in the foothills. Now the only only reason I bring up the value of said home is so you can understand the sheer size of the location. It was a massive house. Two story lots of rooms and we'd gotten on reports that the maid was found outside at three in the morning crying. Afraid to go back in the house turns out. She was sound asleep when Elvis son she felt hands it's on both sides of her tucking her in and not just a gentle goodnight. Tuck in like like you would for your kids but a forceful talk like you're not gonna be able to move tuck in. She also stated held other times she would be walking and Phil Aharon Tapper on the back or on the legs and there would be no one home so myself off and my cousin investigate for the first time will call him Steve so myself and Steve Arrive at the House we start doing. VP sessions and of course. We don't listen back right away but we notice in the dark that it it just feels sales heavy. Something doesn't feel normal. There's a thickness in the air. You could cut it with a knife and as we're going through doing. Vp's and taking pictures we get to one room. It's in the middle of a hallway on the upstairs stairs side. Now we go in the room and we shut the door. You're then there's a little night light on the outside just enough to light the way. So you don't trip over anything that could have been left in the hallway and we're sitting there facing the door. Vp sessions and we see what looks like the shadow of someone walking across the door blocking out the light. We don't know what's going on so we continue but we keep staring staring at the door and see it a couple more times so at that point I wonder if the homeowner is back to check in and see how things are going so we wait for it happened again and run to the door and swing it open and no one's air so again in other than that a few noises and some yes and no answers and couple of phrases that I can't quite recall. The night was pretty uneventful. Now we go back again and this time we bring a guest. I will call him Jake. Now as we're sitting there getting ready to start everything who just go through our plan of how we're GonNa do things and we're going to end with the major. So we do a couple of EP sessions and the Living Room House and a couple of the other bedrooms. Nothing too exciting happens that same rumor. We saw us something going across the bottom of the door blocking out the light in the hallway happened again but we noticed from our VP session in the living room when we were talking and asking questions we didn't get much response but when our guests jake started asking questions the now he didn't even say his name in the recording. Stephen is at our names just so we could have record of it and you know we would start okay this Steve and such and such in the living room. MVP session start art and he asked you know. Is it okay that I'm here with these guys. I know they've been here before four but I haven't is that okay and you just hear clear as day. No Jake so then. We go into the maid's room at the end of the night where everything happened and Steven I sit on the bed and Jay is in the odd corner of the room. So it's a typical room but by the door there's almost ikea indent where you can have a small desk on the opposite side of the door that Kinda doesn't fit in with the room really well but it's there he's he's sitting over there recording us and because it's a perfect vantage point for the entire room and now we're starting waiting to ask questions and see if we can't get answers as to what was going on and why when all of a sudden the bed just start violently violently shaking. Now I don't mean you know you feel like a little vibration in the cushion or something like a a vibrating chair or or a vibrating bed. I mean the the whole bed shaking like people are on each side of the bed picking it up and dropping shopping picking it up and dropping it and we look at each other and we're shoulder to shoulder. You know. Neither of us can do that while. We're on the bed Ed and we're both on the bed so we hop off and were just standing there like what the Hell we look around. There's no mechanisms under the bed to make it happen. There's nothing around us except the bed. The solid wood headboard with rounded edges edges and of sudden Steve Goes. Wow My my back hurts. Fills really warm. And it's it's it's hurting a little bit so I lift up his shirt and sure enough. He scratches down his back. Now we look in verify that there was nothing thing there in that room on that better by it. That could have done that to him and there was nothing thing and at that point we decided it was a good time to end our session. 'cause whatever was there. It didn't like that we had an extra person I don't know why or maybe it was just starting to not like anybody in that house. We haven't heard of any activity sense but we also haven't been able to get a hold of the homeowner which is troublesome because all that stuff happens and then we're ghosted pretty interesting and it makes you wonder what the hell was going on that night. WHOSE VOICES ARE WE hearing and why that family?
Ep 36: Over and Under Improving
"Home Improvement Home Renovation Homemade Mints Palmer bears and all the other jealous of homeowners. Yeah well go do Alabama never home if group pop dads hello and welcome to episode thirty six of thumb and hammer podcast. My name is Doug and today I will be revisiting. The recurring topic of the biggest mistakes homeowners make previously. I've talked about skipping the home inspection getting work done without a contract and overestimating and underestimating costs in this episode. I'm going to be talking about the home improvements. Themselves specifically the over under of home improvements. So let's get started with over improving because that's something we hear about a lot and it's also something that is so incredibly easy to imagine the scenario. You have bought a house in subdivision. It's kind of cookie cutter. But it works for you. Okay so maybe it's not going to be featured in any magazines and maybe it started to show its age in some spots but it's clean and comfortable and it's all you really need got it. You are content well one night you and your significant other I watching. Hgtv need I say more as you watch the renovations taking place on the small screen? You start to look around at your place. Geez you know kitchen is kind of looking outdated. Maybe we could do something like they did on that show. Ooh Did you see that marble countertop marble countertop look good in our kitchen and the bathroom I separate tub and shower what luxury. I bet we have enough room to do that in ours. We just have to move some plumbing around in so it. Starts YOU DECIDE THAT? It's time to do a kitchen remodel after all you read. They kitchens and bathrooms offer the highest. Return on your renovation spending so whatever money you put in you'll be increasing the value of your house right. Let me interrupt here for a second. Be careful with those articles to talk about return on investment for home improvements and they are not usually talking about profit. You almost never recoup one hundred percent good value tends to be around what eighty percent or so that means if you spend fifty grand on a kitchen you might increase the value of your house by forty grand. That means that ten grand has gone poof. Now a lot depends on your location and the comes and the markets and stuff like that. There are a lot of factors at work here and it gets complicated but for our purposes here. Now you can't assume spending fifty grand kitchen now. We'll get you fifty grand more for your house when you sell. Anyway you decide to remodel your kitchen so you start scrolling through pinterest a pinterest. What do you do pin things or something? So you're scrolling in your opinion and you have a pretty good idea of what you want to do then go to a designer and workout plans for the perfect layout or maybe do it in sketch up or even on the back of a Napkin. Whatever the case you now have a plan now you could choose your cabinets from Kia or one of the big box stores but those are mostly particle board in. Mdf Aren't they? Why not spend a little extra get custom made cabinets with plywood boxes in solid wood doors drawer fronts? And what about the countertop sure there are nice looking laminates but if you're going to the trouble inexpensive kitchen renovation? You might as well go all in and get granite or quartz. And then there's the sink and the Faucet and the backlash and lighting and flooring and so on and so on and scooby dooby Doo. That's sly in family. Stone reference there with each decision you decide to spend a couple of extra box for an upgrade and by the time the dust clears you have nickel and dime your way from a twenty thousand dollar Kitchen Reynaud to a fifty thousand dollar dream kitchen. You know give or take well. Let's assume that money is not an issue? This dream kitchen is well within your budget. So it's all good. The problem comes when you decide to sell your house a few years later maybe got transferred or you decide to up size or downsize. Whatever the case you are putting your house on the market well. How much is your house worth? Let's see you pay two hundred and fifty thousand dollars for the host. He spent fifty thousand dollars for the kitchen renovation. So you probably want to get three hundred thousand dollars. I mean that's only fair right. Well let's keep it simple and not assume any increase in property values. The houses in your neighborhood are selling for around two hundred and fifty thousand. Of course they don't have your dream kitchen but is a potential buyer going to see the value in spending the extra fifty grand on your house or will they be satisfied with spending less and living with limited countertop and particle board cabinet in one of those other houses that right. There is the problem with over improving. I'll give you another example when I was first looking at open houses back in the mid nineteen ninety s the typical price range of simple two bedroom house with somewhere in the seventies and eighties. Somewhere between sixty nine thousand eighty nine thousand dollars depending on the neighborhood and in the particular neighborhood where I was looking. The price tend towards the lower end. It was a working class area not far from an industrial area. Well there was this one house where they were asking in the upper eighty thousand dollar range. I think they're asking eighty nine thousand now. We all know that real estate is location location location and sure you could find houses in this price range but not in this neighborhood. The price was more typical in the more. Shall we say middle class neighborhoods away from the industrialized area? Where this house was okay. So a house at this price. Point was not typical for the neighborhood. It must have been something special right well. At first glance not really. It was a single floor. Two bedroom house probably around eight hundred square feet or so bedrooms were average size. It was on a small lot and the living room the first impression when you first walked in the front door. The living room was tiny. There was barely any room for softened. Tv I mean granted. This was back in the day when. Tv's were as were as deep as they were. Why but if memory serves me right? There wasn't room for a coffee table or if there was and there was barely any room to walk by. Now forgive me because I am going by memory here. We are talking about a house that I looked at a quarter century ago but I could probably touch the walls on both sides of the room at the same time you know what mean so my first thought was. This was not going to be a house where he can do any kind of entertaining super bowl Sunday out of the question. The selling point of this house was the kitchen specifically the brand new eight thousand dollar custom dream kitchen as it was described on the information sheet. Now that doesn't sound like much today but back then it was a lot of money especially for kitchen of that size. It was a fairly big kitchen with beautiful cabinets and a mirrored back splash. The backs buys was what made the kitchen seem huge. Now I don't remember what material the countertops were frankly. It didn't matter. I was tripped up literally size of the Living Room. I don't care how big or fancy the kitchen was. I was feeling claustrophobic as soon as I walked through the front door another hoses where the rooms were better scaled and those houses were selling for a lot less nice kitchen though it was just out of place in that House and in that neighborhood. Location makes a difference. There is a rule in real estate that you never want to have the best house in the neighborhood. It has to do with the cops. And that's something to keep in mind. When you renovate was a concept the my wife I clung to when we lived in the money. Pit House that we lived in before one wearing now. Now we weren't really neighborhood. It was a little more rural than that and there were more expensive houses nearby including a multi million dollar mansion that went up on the twenty four Acre Lot right next to us. All of that should help our property. Values people told us that we were lucky that whatever money we put into the House we would most likely get out because of houses of we were surrounded by and we believe them. Of course they weren't real estate experts and neither were we but we drank the Koolade even when we were faced with a major structural repairs. We told ourselves that once we put everything back together we would eventually get that money back. You see we had to gut much of the house in order to take care of the structure so we were kind of forced to renovate and we chose hi. Andy Finishes fixtures because well. We figured that that was our best chance to really increase the value of our house. And like I said. One of our neighbors was a multimillion dollar mansion and when we were planning to rebuild the addition we had the same mindset. Our House on our property would see that investment returned. Not that we were planning to flip the house. No our forever house. But we'd seen enough house flipping shows to think that we were making wise investments. I mean if somebody can buy a million dollar house and put half a million in renovations than salad for three million. Surely we could at least break even on our modest house new as it turns out sometime during the planning for the addition. I got cold feet being house. Rich and cash. Poor just wasn't appealing and that's when we decided to sell but we were still considering rebuilding the addition as a flip until we talked to a real estate agent and found out that our house would not have the value that we thought it would. Her advice was to stop spending money. Actually I believe her. Exact words were along the lines of. I forbid you to spend any more money. That house was something special like I said it was are forever house until it wasn't the point is that we were assuming the whole time we were living there that we would eventually see a good return on our investment but that certainly wasn't the case in the short term and that brings up an interesting point. We should have talked to a real estate agent early on in the process to determine whether we were spending money in the right places a lot of real estate agents offer free property evaluation's now they offer the service because it helps them build a database of potential clients. So why not call them up? See that you're interested in finding out what your house is worth. Be Honest with them. If you're not planning to sell but in all likelihood they still want to know how the houses in the neighborhood compare it's useful information for them plus if they do have a client for whom. Your House is a good fit. Might get a call down the road to see if you're interested in selling time. The theory is that everybody has their price. If somebody offered the right amount you might consider selling even if you were planning to so anyway. Get that market valuation. Ask about the improvements that you are planning to make. Nobody knows the value of houses in your neighborhood. Better than real estate agent and they have nothing to gain or lose by giving you an opinion about your plan home improvements. At least now you are armed with information before you embark on your home renovation adventure now I basically been talking about the danger of over improving but at the end of the day if I may use that overused expression. It's your house too often. We are concerned with maintaining or increasing value. We look at home improvements as investments in. Maybe sometimes it's just not the best approach. Your House is your shelter. It's a place for your stuff and with all that in mind you have to understand what you reason is for wanting to renovate going back to that kitchen renovation that we talked about earlier I do. You want to renovate. Is it because it needs it or is it just because you want to? How's that kitchen functioning? Could you fresh and things out with a coat of paint and maybe some new drawer polls or does it legitimately need the whole? Hgtv makeover keep in. Mind that if you're looking at the long-term say twenty years any renovation. You do today will be outdated when you decide to sell anyway so the buyer might just plan to do a gunnery model of their own but in the short term a coat of paint. And you draw ripoll's May offer you better are y that a complete renovation. That is if you're looking at this from the Investment Angle the point. I'm trying to make here. Is that instead of worrying about return on investment in resale value. Focus on yourself and how the space works for you. Who gives a flying pig Newton about hypothetical buyer in the future? It's your house renovate for you. Just make sure you go into it. Knowing the financial ramifications there are experts. Who will tell you if your house is not meeting your needs. You are better off selling it and buying a house that does meet your needs. So let's take a look at the following example. Let's say you have a three bedroom. Two Bathroom House. It's perfect for your family and you're happy with it. Maybe just put some money in a new furnace and that you know you don't have anything to worry about for a while. Everything's in good shape. The neighborhood is great. You have wonderful neighbors that you get along with. You are close to highly rated schools. You're close to mass transit. You have a short drive to work over the years you have painted and decorated inside and out you've landscaped. You have put your personal stamp on the House. It is the very definition of a forever house but then something happens. Let's say your father passes away. Your mom can't take care of her house on her own. It's too big. It's too much work so she looks at apartments or smaller houses. But you kinda worry about our being on her own but you know. She's not ready to move into a retirement home yet. So after much discussion you decide that she can move in with you. She could be around her grandchildren and you can be sure that she's doing okay. It's a good plan except you don't have a bedroom for her. So you look into building a small edition. A bedroom with an ounce. We bath the only thing is you will now have a four bedroom. Three Bathroom House in a neighborhood of three bedroom homes. You will be over improving. That addition is not going to add enough value to the house to justify the expense of the addition. The experts will tell you that you should be looking for a four bedroom house rather than spending money on the addition but then you would be starting over with another house with another neighborhood with other schools. So what do you do you see? There are a lot of other factors going into the decision than just the monetary investment in. This case over improving may make sense to you. Here's the deal. Let's go back to the kitchen example every house every comp in your neighborhood has laminate countertops. If you put in grounded countertops you are probably over improving. And it won't necessarily add the value to your house to justify the expense. If you sell in five years you have wasted that money. And made the mistake of over improving. But that's ignoring the fact that you know what you don't make lemonade countertops and you love love. Love your granite countertop. You spend a lot of time in your kitchen and that makes you very happy whereas you may not have been so happy if you settle for something else your kitchen renovation works for you so maybe you don't get your so called investment out of it. Maybe spending as much as you did doesn't make sense on paper but it makes sense for you as long as you're not expecting to get that investment out of it. Was It really a mistake after all if you were happy doesn't count for something? So that's over improving on the other side of the coin. We have under improving and that can be the bigger mistake of the two. Let's say you have a mini executive mick mansion in a neighborhood of many executive mcmansions. And let's just say that kitchen has seen. Its better days. A comparable kitchen renovation may cost you seventy five thousand dollars but you know what maybe that's more than you can afford or maybe spending that amount of money with little kids running around adding to the wear and tear just seems like a bad idea. Maybe you're satisfied with the basic I ki- kitchen. It's good enough for you. Here's the problem with that when it comes time to sell that idea kitchen might actually deter buyers in a house at that price point and I- Kia kitchen test isn't going to fly. You see the difference and over improved house may not give you. Roi May not give you a return on investment but the over improvement is still selling point. Not so much with under improvements. You stand to lose a lot more than just the cost of the improvement. So that's something to keep in mind before you buy a house. The upper end of what you can afford because there is an expectation of more expensive finishes in a more expensive house. And I want to point out here that I have nothing against Kia. I like Kia and I'm consider Nikea for our own kitchen. I'm just saying that at a certain price point. There's a certain expectation it's all about finding the right balance spending the right amount of money in the right places. There's no reason why you can't enjoy certain upgrades without venturing into over improvement territory. In fact it often doesn't make sense not to spend a little extra money for better finishes you just have to do. The research and the math has to make sense. A good example of this is laminated floors. There is a wide range of quality and prices. You can go the cheap route. Get something that's going to last five to ten years or he can spend more for something. That's commercially rated. That will last you at least twice as long. And when you're figuring out the cost of all this be shared a factor in the Labor. Even if you're doing it yourself which floor is going to look better if you decide to sell after five years like. I said the math has to make sense. The difference between a thousand dollars and fifteen hundred dollars isn't as much as the difference between ten thousand dollars and fifteen thousand dollars. Even though percentage wise they are exactly the same but as a ratio to the overall evaluation of your house. The difference is much more significant in what we're talking about math here. You gotTa keep track of the nickels and dimes. I mean to continue with the for example one product. That's four dollars and fifty cents. A Square foot product number. Two is five dollars and fifty cents a square foot. And maybe there's a third choice. That's only three seventy five square foot now a buck or two per square foot. Tacitly seem like a whole lot doesn't know you are doing four hundred square feet of floor. Now you're talking about price range of between fifteen hundred dollars and twenty two hundred dollars. Which do you choose? And why and like. I said you can't ignore the labor cost. Labor is going to be constant regardless of the price of material. So let's go cheap. Four hundred square feet for three. Seventy Five Square foot is fifteen hundred dollars for materials reasonable but after five years of wear and tear. It's probably due to be replaced whereas the more expensive floors are still going to look good so now you look at every place in the floor and it's going to cost you another fifteen hundred dollars just in materials. It would've been cheaper to spend five dollars and fifty cents on the most expensive choice in the first place. But let's say you're putting the House on the market would spend that extra money have made sense. It depends there's the stock answer to all of these questions. It depends a potential buyer. Could look that floor and realize that they have to replace it within a couple of years in that could factor into their offer or whether they even make an offer to begin with. So how much are you really saving by going with the cheapest option of course Potential buyer could also look at the most expensive foreign to say that they'll be replaced it with say solid hardwood flooring anyway. So like I said. There's no real easy answers here. Well up until now I've basically been talking about is candy this stuff that you see. And it's really easy to get distracted by shiny objects it's tempting to cut corners on the stuff you don't see because out of sight out of mind but that could end up costing you big time you can do the prettiest finishes with the fanciest materials but if the lying structure isn't good hugh are just wasting your money by law. If you open up a wall you're supposed to bring whatever is behind it up to code in Bamako. Perfect Sense. The problem is upgrading. Plumbing and electrical just isn't sexy but it would also suck if you had to reporter improvements in the future for the sake of saving a few dollars today when we had the major renovation on our money pit the contractors used cement board onto the tiles they did not using uncoupling membrane. Such as tra-. That's that orange stuff that gets laid out under the title and helps prevent cracked ground tile. I said that I wanted the member. They said that it would be too expensive. That would be spending money unnecessarily and they never had problems with the way they were doing it. So stupid me but them talk me out of the Detroit. While I was happy with saving money. I mean money in my pocket is a good place for money to be you know in the title of good that is until the growth started cracking until we had a couple cracked tiles that I had to replace now. Had We stayed in that house we would have had two choices either. Constantly Chase after the crap tiles and grout or disassemble. Our new bathroom in order to rip out all the tiles in the bathroom and hallway. We could install them properly with an uncoupling membrane. Saving a few hundred dollars could cost thousands but there would be no immediate difference in the appearance of the tiles regardless of what was onto them as I said home. Improvements is about finding a balance between what you spend and how it affects the value of your house. Don't fall into the trap of being doused by shiny objects chasing after what you see on. Hdtv or Pinterest or instagram. And don't fall into the trap of assuming that you're going to be receiving this great return on your investment if the financial angle is important to you. Consult with a real estate expert in your area to determine whether you are spending your money in the right places but most importantly when said and done remember that it is your house. Do what makes sense for you? Do what makes you happy because maybe for you return on investment is not just measured in dollars and sense and with that. I would like to say. Thank you very much for listening to this episode of the thumb and Hammer. Podcast as always you can find me at dumb and hammer dot com or on twitter at thumb and Hammer. You can also reach me by email by going to thumb dot com slash contact. I welcome any questions or suggestions for future topics or for ways that I can make this podcast. Better Talk to you again. In a couple of weeks cheers.
Episode 75: Fostering Family Harmony during the Coronavirus
"This is five minute functions way. Podcast episodes seventy five. Fostering family harmony with funkaway. Welcome to the five minute funk sway. Podcast were each week. I talk about how to move in. G and make money. You'll learn how to create a prosperous home in an abundant life using classical Chinese funkaway. I'm your host. Katie Weber publisher of the Red Lowest Letter. Funkaway easy for wealth each week all cover functionally topics that can help you improve your live. Sure inspiring stories and always end with three easy to implement fund. Choi Tips that you can put to work right away and usually in about five minutes now. Let's get started on the five minutes that could change your life. Hello this is a special episode of five minute functions way too damn talking to you about fostering family harmony. This is such an important topic especially now with the Corona Virus. Making it so that many families are home all day every day or are going to be home all day every day for quite some time. It's one of those things where you take the worry about money about illness where what's going to happen next the quarantine it all can build up tension so we really want to look at ways. We can build in and foster family harmony and stay as positive and as happy together as we can given the current situation. So let's talk today and I'm GonNa try to make this a brief episode and if you've been to my website and checked on an article written about fostering family harmony. You'll see some recommendations that are in there that are really Standard functionary recommendations. But I'm going to be adding some new information. That's really relevant to our current time In Our current energies for twenty twenty in particular But you know that's always a it's always some good standard punctuate advice on my article online about fostering family harmony. But let's get let's get right into it so you know. Obviously we want to work on creating more opportunities success in well but functionally is also used for creating harmonious relationships too. It's a terrific tool for helping your family relationships helping your romantic relationships and relationships with friends as anyone who's had difficulties Struggles at home can tell you a harmonious home is truly a blessing and creating a harmonious unpleasant. Home is a bonus to everybody and especially in times like now where we're dealing with corona virus and all the uncertainty around that There's a lot of fear around that and that's one of the energies that twenty twenty is bringing us is fear so we really want to manage that fear and create a more uplifting atmosphere one when we feel comfortable and safe and together in happier too. So let's talk about some ways that you can do that. Really in good energy is available this year in the South West now. This is all for relationships with women so that can be if you have daughters and mothers and sisters who live in the house. We want to keep those relationships harmonious unhappy and one way you can do that is by adding of as in the southwest corner of your living room or in your in your Southwest corner of your bedroom. You can also do that in the southwest corner of your home The southwest corner is the sector of the woman and the mother of the House. And you know that old saying Mommy. Happy Ain't nobody happy. I hate to say that. But you know it's really important that we keep everyone happy and comfortable so this corner of the home is regarded as the corner. Were all good family. Luck resides so you know. This is a really really critical part of of any home. So adding a large ceramic. Earn or vase here will symbolize the mother. So we'll want to place this in the corner in the southwest corner of our home if that happens to be a bathroom or it's Garage will you don't WanNa go activate that corner you want to activate the southwest corner of your living room but make sure that you keep that as empty and the reason why is it collects good energy so You know you're GonNa look for places where you can collect that good energy in. South West is the energy Corner for twenty twenty. That is has happiness energy so definitely a great way to activate for happening. Happy relationships and harmonious families is to activate that South West Corner You can also add some flowers there if you like. But definitely no plants. I wouldn't want you to add any any plants Because at that actually depletes flowers are okay. Because they're basically cut off. They're not living growing plants. Plants actually can harm the relationships. So if you've got plants in the southwest corner I say this is the time to take them out so you keep everybody happy and congenial so important. Talk about the Family Relationship Sector. This also is Were FAMILIES RESIDE? And where they grow from. And this is the east this year. We've got a really difficult energy In fact from east to west literally on the map and in our homes from east to west there is difficulty and energy that can create problems with health with family relationships and so forth and we really have got to pull together and strengthen those relationships and now this is a sector that's governed by the wood element so This year though we have an energy called the five yellow and it's an e sector and it will It pertains to mostly to the oldest son but also the family the family unit and the health of the family. Now this is a corner where you're going to want to add moving metal this year. It's a wood element energy in the in the East. Normally but in twenty twenty. There's an element of illness. Severe illness severe financial difficulties. Also severe accidents and things that affect your family in effect the oldest son so what we WANNA do is manage that energy now. If this is corner is a bathroom or a garage. You're in luck What we want to do is make sure that all of the red colors that are in the if you have any red colors in east. Get those out of there if you've got a ceiling fan in the east. Maybe it's a bedroom. A living room got a ceiling fan in there. Put It on Super Low and keep it running twenty four hours a day all year long. This will help now. This is where you actually can put a plant there. I really like a white orchid. You can also add like white flowers in this corner. White is help in this corner. The other thing you can do is to add three lucky bamboo stalks in a vase of of pebbles and water. And that will help bring some health. How keep that five yellow at bay and it also fosters the wood element of the family without adding too much Without any too much would element. We WanNA manage the wood element because would can cause anger and we don't want that right now. We need to get along right. We've got to be have a little bit lighter atmosphere a little bit happier Energy going on so A Nice plant there. The three stocks of Lucky bamboos fine. You can add a white flowers in that corner and that that will help to bring some of that tension down and also hold that energy of illness that severe and could also create financial difficulties. And if there's anything that we're seeing with the corona virus it's also financial difficulties the let's talk about. Let's talk about the heart sector. This is the center of every home if you have a big wide open concept type home then. You're going to have a stronger energy this year in the in the center now very important that we remove any plants from the center sector that's because they drain the center sector of its energy we have the reigning star here in. It's The star. It's the red. It's called the the seven read and it's a violence star. It's a cutting star and it relates directly to the lungs. Well guess where the Corona viruses going smack to the right to the middle of our body right to our chest right to our lungs and this is the energy that's prevailing in the central sector. So what we want to do. And it's let's let me back up because I want to talk about the other. Potential for the seven star. The potential is there several very difficult ones to cutting off like loss of job loss of income loss of health lung difficulties. Mouth problems in by mouth problems arguments. We want to hold down that seven starring. Keep the heart in the heart of the home. Happy Right so this is where we need to have light and bright energy. Keep the lights on. Keep it right. You don't need to burn candles I don't think you actually want an actual flame i. I would kind of avoid burning candles and I would add any kind of blue colors or water elements here because this is going to help. Hold down the tendency to want to Bicker and argue. We don't need any of that right. We definitely Don't need that right now. We need lots and lots of harmony so definitely take out any plants that you have there. We don't want any plants in the center because that that just further drains the center the heart the Heavenly Palace and we want to add a light. Keep it light and bright in there Remove red colors at watercolors water elements blue items seashells images of fish water and this will help to tail the potential for arguments and also potential for loss. And that could be loss of life that could be loss of job that could be loss of income so keeping this this in a state of where we have that seven store. Kind of drained is critical. Now we also want to think about our our family relationships as we sit at the dinner table and when we sit at the dinner Table One way that you can use funkaway deceit everyone facing the direction that is their relationship direction. If you go to my website Red Lotus letter dot com and slicked select the quad calculator K. U. A. Kwok calculator. It will tell you you just enter in your date birth in and your gender and those of your family members and it will tell you. Which direction is your relationship direction? Have everybody seated at the dining room table and sit in that direction so it will foster more family harmony. I think that's a really key Concept obviously Right now we say one thing and that is about the potential for loss of family members. The seven star is a star. That runs really rampant. It can run anywhere from Internet fraud. Identity theft actual break ins of your home arguments Snippy comments on this is if you've noticed being out in public Wow we got some people that are really afraid but that makes them kind of snippy and And frankly unpleasant the other thing that we have to be concerned about in why we want to put that water element in there is. We need to be concerned about the potential for loss of life as I was mentioning And this can be through suicide It can be through violence with handguns. It or guns in general Make sure you have gun locks if you have guns and Make sure that they're in use It's amazing How often These have been reported to save lives and If you know a family member who is severely depressed Who is or a neighbor or friend? Who's depressed Check IN ON THEM. Make calls call your elderly neighbors and friends and family members just Hey how you doing how you hanging on. You should see the birds in my backyard syndrome. Some pretty pictures of flowers are blooming around your house. Send those positive messages. We don't want to lose any more people and family members or friends than we absolutely have to with this epidemic and we want to create a happy and loving atmosphere as much as we can break out those board games and You know have some fun as much as you can all right so here. We are worth the end of Into this episode and as always I want to leave you with three important tips tip number one keep it light and bright in the center. This is Seven the seven star is a metal star and metal is the element of fear. And what do we have more than enough of in in in in this virus a lot of fear and worry so keep it light and bright fear like start places so we can keep the lights on. Don't even worry about that. Just keep it light and bright in center of your home and add. Those water colors are so important for keeping family harmony. Helping you to insulate you. Water is so so key right now for insulating you and all your family members make sure everybody has plenty of water to drink and that kind of thing and make a big difference tip number to add a plant in the East sector for Twenty Twenty. You can add white or blue flowers in the east sector. You could add the three bamboo in water. This is my favorite. If you can find them just add one single healthy plant in the east corner of your home or Living Room. Now if you have a A toilet that's here Then you're not gonNA want it. Put a plan in there. You would put it in the east corner of Your Living Room. And if the east corner has a bathroom or laundry room or garage you are in luck this year. So counter blessings tip number three avoid red colors in the center east and South this year. These are the three areas where we want to We really want to to watch. Another corner is the West. No Red Colors anywhere in the center sector the East corner of your home the South Corner Your home or the West Corner your home. This can actually create more tension. It can create more health problems financial problems and so forth. Red Is an activating color right now. We WanNA keep calm. Keep even keeled. And we don't want to activate any illness energy or any energy that has the potential to create more illness and that's one of the sectors. I didn't talk about was the West Sector. It has a an energy of fire and the sector is the sector of lungs. So that's why we don't want to have any red there in the meantime if you'd like to learn more about the the year of the rat and how to help your home how to understand the ill- illness energies more fully I. My annual forecast has been reduced from forty seven dollars down to four dollars. Ninety seven cents. It will help you understand your home. Where the energies go where they are and how to protect yourself from them. You can get more information on my website. Red Lotus letter dot Com and just click on the year of the rat. And you'll find more information about where to buy my forecast and And get the information that you need to keep your family healthy and as safe as you can and put that punctuate in your home to work for you. I wish you well. I wish you good lock. And they wish you many blessings take care and I'll talk to you on the next episode. Five minute funkaway. Thanks for listening to five minute punctuate. Today you're the rat is coming in. I WANNA share with you where you can find money love and opportunity in two thousand twenty and it's all my annual funkaway forecast the suspect you get a full year of in-depth functional details about how to use the energy of the year for success and prosperity. That's because every year were showered with a Roman candle of opportunities for money abundance. Love and opportunity. You just have to know where they are. My Year of the rat punctuate success pack includes all the details for every house every Zodiac sign. You also get this year's lucky clothing handbag and wallet colors so be sure to go to Red Lotus letter dot com forward slash rat for all the details on the year of the rat. And how to make this year the year of your dreams.
Be Careful what you Bring Home from Work
"The. Most of you will know that I spent a large chunk of my life as an educator, but before that at my fair share of dead end jobs, a lot of them in the hospitality industry didn't pay very much. He's to ask people. Why and apparently there's an unwritten rule. That's your weight is on is what you get paid. They also factoring everything you can possibly eat and drink while you're on the job plus everything you can get away with stealing. Strangest, thing you've ever taken home from work. But it's not as strange as the thing in tonight story while my difference is once again time to sit back and relax with your favorite drink. Rain. You Sal wasn't home. Moment pulled out his house and immediately worried him. The driveway to the home was vacant and unlit as he arrived in his dusk covered for pickup. The fin stream of waning sunshine illuminating the homestead. Sal Potter Hybrid car in the driveway to allow ray the carriage, and she always turned on the porch so right when she got home. When she wasn't getting home, I, she always texted Oh cordray ahead of time. This was routine. Predictable spiders spinning webs. RACE AT HIS TO SALARY TEEN hell. He said he's life to her routine. Garage door stood open to his remote and her car wasn't there either. Party's trucking side and pulled out his phone to check messages. Recent attempts from Sao Alas Tax dated this morning and relaying her desire for dinner around till Friday. Someplace that says tie. Rethought about calling right then. But a quick glance to his phone's battery meter showed it was about to die on him, and the charge was in the house. He's also posh pooped. After trying day of fighting, the idiot contracted, who built the recent power relays over on the east end of the county's electrical grids. He could get a drink on. His phone challenged a few minutes. Garage door, obedient load behind him as he went inside his home proper. Dock Hallway cre- Tim. Soft Blue Light, coming from the living rooms digital devices at the other end. Sal really wasn't how. No possibility of having gotten dropped off and forgetting to turn on the porch lights. Ray walked to the living room, telling on a ceiling light to brighten the homestead and his mood. Sows Absence Politic Molin he expected, but she was a grown capable woman, a stickler for safety and someone who enjoyed bringing order to Kale's. She'd whipped him into shape of the last two years. No dirty dishes could abide on the coffee table, no dirty underwear on the floor. Whenever delayed probably wasn't life threatening. She worked in. Pharmaceutical, development. Lucrative and demanding business. Long meetings and rush deadlines popped up all the time. He'd had many a night to himself especially in the last year as the company prepared a new drug line for commercial use. Still! Pretty, atypical of her not to let him know. Living on the edge of a forest carried a degree of Rustic charm. had. Never been thrilled with living deep royal life. The nearest neighbor's a two minute walk away the nearest hospital ten minutes by COM. Sows company had moved its corporate headquarters out to the backcountry of California two years ago and sow transferred that for a promotion. The town of ground. The influx of cash the company abroad. But ground's and company folk didn't really mix. Red Found himself unceremoniously grouped into the company folk category, so no real friends around these pounds. He was close to sweet talking sal letting him get a dog though. She was allergic. They did have these nifty pills. That company sold that's. He's thoughts broke apart at the end of the kitchen, preparing to grab a beer and charges phone when he's boop crunched something under firms. Ray flips on a light and found the contents of the kitchen garbage on the linoleum floor. Chicken bones, Brown lettuce, eggshells and other random trash lay scattered about. Race groaned at the mess. Not the first time as it happened. Right made the mistake of leaving the back door ajar and a hot night, ones and the raccoon community invited itself inside. They said all the same hallmarks of a hungry scavenger intruding in his home again. And these particular critic had also opened a pair of cabinet under the sink. Finding only household cleanses and knocking over a can of comment in search for more edibles, sprinkling green cleanser onto the floor. So I do have company tonight. Ray remarked tiredly. Somehow he'll sal left a window or door open, even though it was fought to call to let in the winter. I. That's all. That was a serious structural failure somewhere in the house. Last thing he wanted for evening entertainment to go on a critic Hans. The. You led an interloping pass. Make itself home. The bigger messy, would me. He left his cell phone charging as he started, his critic hunts. First he went to the back door, expecting an open entry way or even broken glass. But always closed locked didn't tack. Mo- smudges on the glass. Norberto Paul Prints on the deck outside. The intruder hadn't come from this direction. Garage been shut up tight when he arrives. The front door was still closed unlock. That left breached window structural failure. He was hoping for a window. A, quick lots around the kitchen dining room and living room showed no bus windows. No criticize either. Paw, prints on the cockpit. Tufts affair. No filth trails left in its wake. No shredded blankets or pillows knocked over furniture. Has Intrusive scavenges went. It was remarkably tidy. He poked his nose around the rest of the house bedroom. Laundry. Remand Office Sam deal. He stopped at the basement door and I'd suspiciously not ready to cry that not open just yet. He detested basements since he's earliest, memories would have avoided buying a home with one had saw not insisted on having one. Seem to fat trade at the time he got a garage. She got her basement. After two years of cohabitation yet to make peace with it. The basement remained sows territory. Garage then. Had He won't buy the interloper unknowingly. Couldn't fathom how it might have gotten to the kitchen from. But he was running out of places to look. The basement walls was solid concrete all around so surely the critic couldn't have gotten into the House that way. From his bedroom, he grabbed flashlights and fantail by. which was sows pet name for the baseball bat? He can either bands. Vandal, bats represented the sum total of their home security system. He hated guns and she hated Lam's. And since they lived in no evill, they both agreed. The home security wasn't going to be a major issue. They needed something for protection. NUSS vandal baton came to live with them. He didn't think about freeloading critics digits. Ray said to air liking the secure, so it feel of the wooden bat in his hands. The garish hadn't changed in a few minutes since he'd last seen it. He clicked on the flashlights and scout the various nooks and shadows looked under his disorganized workbench around the garbage cans, even scanning the ceiling for acrobatic into Lopez. He found no critter and no signs of critters past presence. Right now considered the possibility that was behind this. Only sow knocking over the garbage on our way out of the door. Or somehow allowing vomit to slip pastor, she left for one. He didn't think she was capable of being distracted. But. He was running out of ideas. It'd be nice if you could talk to. Clear up the mystery, but the found needed a few moments of charging to be useful. Besides he'd have to hand in his manly man papers if he couldn't find a simple woodland creature his own home. Except? That left the basement as the only remaining hiding spots. For some instinctual reason. He the doors he reentered the house. He, told himself that a basement and a garish work virtually the same way the rooms. You stuck all the crap that you couldn't find a place for in daily life. Yet for Ray. Garrett good. Basements by. He slowed his gate as he walked the basement door. Stop completely while several feet away. Unable to compel himself to walk and unable to define his hesitancy. Wasn't feeling, right? Sounds unexplained absence on the same night as an unexplained interloper had invaded his domicile one. That was remarkably quiet, NEAT scavenger. Right did in fact believe in coincidences? Life was to random, weird and downright cruel joke. Everything out to a grand plan. But when mystery started piling up at your feet all at once. You had to consider a connection. He might have stood there awhile longer. His mind exploring this song comfortable connection. By the silence of the house was torn asunder by the ring of hisself. Eager and hopeful right went to Witton. Check the caller. A No it rats. Usually that meant robocaller telemarketer. Right normally block such calls, but right now he needed to hear another human voice, if only to dispel the uneasiness that was slowly claiming his moods. He onset and his award with not a sales pitch, but sows melodious voice. Great. Dodgy picked up. He breathed out Sii of relief and good. She was okay. The voice had a layer of anxiety to it. No doubt she had a story to tell. WHY WOULDN'T I pick up? He replied. My phone's being good all day. You're the one who went incommunicado. They took my phone. Static messed with our words, but not enough to prevent them. They took my laptop as well. I couldn't get in touch with you and. She paused. Someone in the background talked to her. The word gobbled and unknowable. She was in some kind of trouble. It was starting to sound like she'd been arrested. That might explain the lack of communication. Honey What exactly is to. Be Quite. The egency and a voice escalated. Naturally, where else would I be? I'd say the nightlife here is dead, but actually we have a right. He did so. Amazed the human self, her vice. Those another pause and more gobbled background words, but when she continued, her voice was soft than before. Right. Race felt his anxiety return and with reinforcements. Crap. She really did get into legal trouble. Sal! Why would the police they? She demanded the tone more strident than he'd ever heard before. No cell. Sweets. The Hell is going on. There was yet another pause. And this time, the background voices were rushed and angry. Okay Honey You need to not interrupt. Ask any more questions right now. She ordered. Two. Things are going to happen. Fest the authorities are GonNa get to the house less than two minutes. They are not the police, but they'll look the part. I. Guess the House, and then not that help you. If you try to leave the house, they'll kill you. No matter what don't go outside, do not come out. Do you understand? These had to be a prank. Salad turned over a new leaf, pulling off their first practical Jones bad one for, but first time is often went too far with their pranks. Sal what the Hell do you understand? She practically screamed the words, and in that moment raise notion that this was a prank. Dearly died. I yeah, honey I hear you. He meekly replies. Sales voice calm. But remained. Second the most important thing. You need to go to office. Get on your laptop. Look at your email. find the email title specimen. Print out the attachment. Don't bother reading. It won't have time. He's pretty doubt because the company is about to hit all our phones and computers with our rooms. They haven't done it already. Describing everything attached wireless connection. Then, he needs to read the first page of the document right away. Follow the instructions exactly. If you do. Maybe, survivor night. Survive the night. How the hell did they got from? Let's out for Thailand Friday to. Maybe you'll survive the night. And that's when he heard the sirens. Faint now, but rapidly getting louder. He looks out a living room window aimed at the road and so infrequent redden blue flashes in the duck. Killer police are coming. Said Ray. Barely able to speak three days state of mind. Times up said Sal and he could tell she was crying on the other end. GonNa, block all communications right. Nothing gets in our out. You won't be able to speak to me until. Until this is over. I. Want you to know and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know settle matters. You have to tonight, but just. The LINE WHEN DAD No static or noise, just a final on ending silence. He stood there and shown. Still holding the phone to his ear. Might have stayed that way. Had the police not finally arrive? Sirens blared briefly, and then shut off. A number of vehicle, screeched to a halt in front of the house, lighting up the night with headlights and flashing beacons. Absolutely put the phone back in his pants pocket and cautiously approach the living room windows. Bali registering how exposed he was this? How a sniper might plug him little effort? He saw plenty of cops along with false guavas while please fan an ambulance. Good, see troop is cordoning off the roads taking cover positions and spreading out around the property. Most outfitted like swaps as if expecting a war rather than a domestic disturbance. Nobody looked in a rush to come in though. And while he was sure that they could see him. I didn't seem eager to talk to him or apprehending. He should go out there and talk to them. That was the rational course. Least certainly had bad raps at times often deservedly, but they were still here to protect and serve. He'd done nothing, and even if south had broken little, and this was related to her crimes. Would have to take him in. Killing. And yet. Something was off about these guys. There was a military about them. They were encircling the house, defensively covering all the exits and windows. The SQUAWK KOSS had different paint jobs in one used by the town, please. And the DOT uniforms had no markings or insignia on them. Every officer he could see carried assault rifles and Kevlar vests. These are not authorities. then. He spotted two figures exiting the ambulance. They stood out against their fellow troopers by being unarmed and being encumbered with full buddied orange biohazard suits. Biohazard, suits? Fit grabbed his Hans and gave it a mighty squeeze. This was a biohazard scenario. Had he been exposed to something. When would that have happened? Of course. This had to be about silent her walk, but she was the most kaffa person he knew. She never brought her work home with. She didn't talk about a work tool. Accept him ruled vague terms. She never had any incriminating containers full of hazardous materials all viral samples. She had a briefcase and a laptop. She brought to and from work, but that was it. She'd never bring anything dangerous. Well. Obviously she had. Oh. He wouldn't be in this fix woody. Maybe the critter he'd be on the search for was in fact, a lab animals from sales company. Maybe, he just become patient zero for a potential pandemic. Sounds, dire warning did finally penetrating Zayed's. And he started lowering all the blinds in the living room. If. These guys want to save him. He was going to make them work for it. His. Laptop. Damn, the answers might be there. is growing panicked. He got all about it. He raised from the living room down the hall, nearly ramming the office door in his rush. He checked the room for the critter again, but it was the same as before. There was precious little space for hiding in here. Mostly just a standard wooden work desk, several bookshelves lined with medical literature and filing cabinet stuff full of household records. His laptop sat on the desk. It was more sows office than his, but she mostly used it as a library. Right had the run of it most days. The one window in the room afforded a great view of the forest. Reload the blinds, but not before spotting so-called cop taking position near an old pine tree. He's rifle trained in raised direction. Trying his best trick, nor his hammering out in the gripping fair that made him want to start screaming. Reopen his laptop went Zima. Sure enough nestled in his inbox was a message titled Specimen. Though the sender's address, all jumbled up and nonsensical. He opened it. The. Body of the message was blank, but an attached file was president. He tried to get it printed right then and there. But he notice the wireless connection was down. The computer was lagging as well becoming slower and less responsive. And sows warnings about worms spread his hands towards his desk drawer, extracting a USB cord and manually connecting his copies laptop. Please? please. Please please please. He recited a mantra to whatever God was watching over him right now. As the printers is pulled up and spat out page after page of information. The printer's stopped after six pages. Is Display telling him that it needed more paper? God damnit. He Tore Open. The Patriot grabbed a handful of printer paper from his desk slammed it in. The printer remained dormant the display suddenly blinking an error message. Ray Few. Punched a few buttons on the printer and then punish the printer itself. The message remains an a moment later. The power hung machine died. Right turn back to his laptop and shock shocks. The laptop was just as powerless. He tested it. WHO's the Pao about in a few times, but to no avail? Anger well within. ANGER FUELED BY THE UNFAIRNESS OF UTAH. But he held back on any smash. Burn temptations. Raging wouldn't help him, but some anger was good. Anger got stuff done. Oddly enough not anger at sound not yet at least. He couldn't believe she intentionally put him in danger like this. Not His. The had to be a story here. An explanation that exonerated her. He sat down at his desk and looked over the papers in his hand. Hopefully explanation was within the six pages. He began reading the first page. If. You're reading this and you have a serious situation hands. If the authorities have already around the geolocation than they will shortly. They are not here to how. They are special division coming you. Someone who lives with you works. Do not go out and talk to. Cover, all windows possible. Stay out of direct site. They will not shoot me while you're still inside your home. They have particular rules of engagement. By the less intelligence, they have on your situation the more time you have. His wasn't reading like something. Sow would right. No, this was more form some kind of in case of emergency document. Before he keep reading secure external doors then find a room. You know he's safe can make safe show. Made, sure all egress points in the room of blocked against intrusion. Is includes windows events at any holes big enough for a rat sized together. Do this now. Sized halls. Did he have elaborate running around the house? That might explain why it was so hard to find. But Iraq couldn't knock over the kitchen garbage. Can was too big. Pushed aside for. I secure against the authorities outside. He left the office and went to the Living Room, double checking the front door. The one good luck on it was the linchpin of their grand home security man. Then, there was the kitchen with a sliding door. He lowered the blinds on the windows. Thought about moving couches and other finisher against the doors to block them. But he knew it wouldn't make a difference in the long run. The House wasn't a fortress and the authorities would barge in with little effort if they wanted to. Raise suspected the what how them back was bad press. To make the whole mess, look like a by the Book Police Raid Should the media show someone upload a video to Youtube. Still. Faster pair of wooden, stirring spoons, and used them to jam up the sliding door, just to make it a little harder on them. He moved to the hallway, intending to double. Check the door to the garage. When he heard. A slithering scraping sound. Coming from under the hallway floor. He stopped and listen. The sound repeated foot further along the hall. Had to be from the ventilation shaft that ran into the hallway, connecting most of the house to the heating and AC system in the basement. Of course. He's in the ventilation. He mused glumly. Where else could it go to make his life harder? At least this reinforced Laborat- idea because nothing bigger than Iraq fit in there. made the slither scrape again. Moving farther along. and. He rethought his laboratory idea. Whatever it was in didn't move with. More like something forcing bulb through a cramped space. Regardless, he knew where the animal was, and this was a good thing. Maybe, he could trap it in the vents. Offer it to the authorities as proof that the biohazard threat was contained can there will be no need for any killing of rate. Repeated the interloper. And Ray made his Minda. Strike while the iron was haunt, the saying went. REDOUBT WITH A lab escapee. Authorities would go through him to do so. All right. New Plan A. Direct the animal to event coaxing out and trapping. The first step should be to shut all the vent doors, but didn't have time for that. The thing down below continued its journey at a steady pace. As, he fought alone. He realized it was headed for the laundry room. And it sizeable flow of and. Ray Wasn't ready to confront this thing. Yes, but deterrent he could. He stepped ahead of the thing, and into the laundry room, tripping over the basket of whites. He'd promised sal that he'd followed this weekend. He caught himself before smashing his head on the tre. Laughing lightly as he steadied. Boy. Wouldn't that be the waste ago surrounded by gun-toting troopers, a disease things spreading contamination through his house, and he gets done in by the corner of a household appliance. Why did he keep calling the lab animal thing? That were kept slipping into his loads. It was just an animal in the vents, some poor test rodent inflated with a nasty disease by scientists, trying to create a vaccine and corporations looking for profit. He wanted to muster up some compassion for the animal. But. It was hard to feel real messy when it's mayor presence in your house threatens your life. The Sh-. Lois feet motivated him back into action. He moved to the floor event made to close it when he got a whiff of the lab animal. He recoiled as flashbacks of feted mounds of trash came to mind. It work a few years at a county dumb and the smell permeating the place him to this day putrid rotting things all mixed together. If the ODA was coming from the lab. And it was in bad shape. ATAVISTIC chill invaded. His body is the unseen creature crawled up the venture. For this time I was a vocal bit as well. Combination of hissing and weasing utterly foreign to his recollections of animal noises. Suddenly, calling animal thing didn't seem like such a strange. Close the vent. But now. He didn't think it was enough. He plays the full laundry basket on Tom. Added a half full top of big box laundry detergent to the basket instead back is the animal thing crawled wants mall. The noise reverberating from onto the vent opening. Right watched and waited. Unconsciously, stepping into the doorway. In case, he needed to make a quick exit. Long moments past. No sound emerging from below. And Ray began to feel a bit silly about his reaction. Was Sick animal. He'd been hearing pain, wheezing and smelling it sickness. Wasn't about to? The basket gypped up one. Right almost fell backward into the hallway. Hands Catching the DOLE for. As he regained his footing, the basket lurched again and again as the animal thing banged into the vent. And over. White Crystals of detergent flew up upward, sprinkling down into the basket and onto the floor. The basket moving ever so slightly with each heads. Right launched mystified. Even downright horrified. The creature attacked blocked egress point with clear determination. Copied strong. His small eight sick. It stuck in event. Possibly get out. Yet the basket shifted. Another few hits and it might be free and clear. And probably in a foul mood. The so to broadly stalked. A creature went silent. Motionless. The basket remaining in place. The thing was on the move again. Swatted for now. I stood there wide eyed his. He digested the strength of this creature. Only when the creatures movement echoed from under the doorway, did he return to reality? Diseased on, not this lab animal was not something. He wanted to face by himself. He ran from the room and went all through the house, a new objective in mind. GARISH DAW locked. No time for DOA. Troupe is not the issue right now. Fencing the kitchen and living room closed. Couch moved over one a smattering of heavy utensils and cookware insider lawsuits on other. The bathroom vent neutralized withdraw pool from South Dresser to which he added some way bric a BRAC. The, paceman. Dead End for the creature. The furnace abided there. They were intake vents in the hallway, but those were on a separate vent system from the one the creature traveling. Only, the office vent remained accessible. Ray Joke to the office. Before he went in, he taught to the house. Thermostat controls installed next to the office storm and turn off the fairness. Tempt as he was to try and cook the thing events, he was more concerned that the heat would make redoubled his efforts to escape. Better to leave it be for now. Secure the office vent my man handling the filing cabinet on top of it. Ray in close the office store and collapsed into his desk. Chan feeling raw and rattled. The hell at sal on him into. This thing wasn't yet. Garden Variety lab animal. Santa clearly been lying to him about her line of work. All sorts of terrible imagery crept into his hand. Notions of illegal experiments done by Matt scientists the brave but cruel military types who had to clean up after them? The printed file on the desk beckoned him begging him to read it. Right now. He wasn't sure he wanted to know anything mall. Once he read this once. He knew the truth. He doubted his life would ever be the same. If. He survived the night. Sal and him. No path forward that he could see. Not if she was both creating an working for monsters. If, he survived the night. He could worry about such things, but. First things. He gathered the pages. Found where he left off and resume. He kept an air out for the telltale sliver of the intruder as he read. But this point, you should have a secure room. You may have encountered the reason via troubles. We call it the specimen. This is important. Do not touch it. No direct physical contact between you and the specimen and any secretions, if contact has occurred immediately, skip to page six. Well one thing gone right. No skipping pages needed. The organizing, you're facing. He's a product of genetic engineering. While you now have a thousand questions as to its arginine purpose, we have little time to cover this. We are here to save alive, and time is not on your side. You can ask you questions when you make it through the night. This is not the first time that specimen as escapees and there are those of us trying to shut it all down, but that doesn't help you right now is the only way the teen outside will let you live if you show incontrovertible proof of the specimen is dead that you clean of contamination. I want to lie to latch at chances on a persons of kind of scenario. You're now. You reading his words. Follow them so the letter. Firstly especially is contaminated with a type of fast acting. Disease is fluid based, but has an extremely short viability outside body of lesson. You won't have to worry about contaminated services until the. Maturity riches safe six. You need to find an don any protective gear. You may have it ready. Right laughed out loud. Protective Gear. Had some Rava gloves, but that was about it. Also means that you do not want US knives of firearms against the creature. The risk of exposure to a tissue or fluid is two grades. Tasers have some effect and blunt weapons of better than fists. Best weapon is avoiding contact right now. Second. Specimen has gone through massive search. Ray jumped in his chair as the sliver scraped sounded out from the hallway louder than. Before He tensed awaiting more activity from the specimen, but once a minute went by with no further noise. He went back to reading. Secondly, the specimen has gone through a massive growth right now. Lifespan seven stages, and since you're reading this, you're facing a minimum stage three specimen. But to know how to save neutralize a threat as well as giving yourself a rough estimate of how much time you have left. You have to determine its exact life stage. The only way to do this is to find his hatchet spot. You need to find. His exile reminds now the color. Then reference shot one to determine the last day. As a small piece of extra tax added to the end of the paragraph, no some sal. Nightspot would have to be my briefcase and the black one. Left it in the basement today. Long story, no time for explanations look that I. Expected him to go slew and conducting amateur science with troop is at his doorstep and a bio menace. Loosen his home. And from what he was now reading, that was just a fuss cost of bad news. The company will go as far as they have to. In order to protect it secret and stop feather contamination, but they'd rather have your cooperation. The cover man do body spokeswoman. Yes, this means you will have to kill the specimen. But for now walk slowly. Stay quiet. Web Protection do nothing more than finally action. If you don't provoke it. You should be say. Get going. Shivers ran all through him. The biggest thing you've ever killed was a cockroach. And that crusher give him how. When it came to past infestations, he called the exterminator. When it came to interloping Curtis, he opened the back door gave it away. Sal was the one could squish bugs with ruthless pragmatism. One time he incited woken up the sounds of furtive rustling underneath their bed. Salad gotten up. Retrieve Vandal Matt's managed to brain the rat. There was exploring that bedroom before it fled to his home. And then she plot back into bed and was asleep into seconds. Wow She is not him. The role of killer was his this time. He founded the papers and place them in back pocket. He stopped at the doorway. Open to the crack listened for the specimen. He continued game of silence. Silence Wide Him Molin his grating sliver. He took a deep breath telling himself to stay focus. Follow the instructions take this step by step and he'd survive the night. Rob Gloves awaited him in the broom closet, and he on them with all due haste. Vandal bat awaited him on the kitchen counter. He hoped he wouldn't have to use it, but it was best to avoid splattering specimen blood. But he felt safer with vandal baton. Door to the basement awaited him as plain as every other door in the house hit ten times less welcoming. Might as well have been the cavernous more of a hungry beast. Basements or the domain of creepy and Crawley's. Despite that nested over had all the rats that use your belongings for breeding grounds. While specimen was stuck in events. Right had the high ground. Down here, no such luck. How, much he told himself it couldn't get out. Going down felt like the wrong move. But then bravery was action despite fare wasn't. Pulled the door open flip on the overhead fluorescence darkness, dissipating into pockets of shadow, littered across the cluttered room. Like most Americans the basement was where Ray and sal hid that Layton holding heavies stuffing box full of mementos and leftover dude is in preparation for a nebulous future. They might be needed. Vandal baton hand right went down the steps if proceeding into a minefield listening for the specimens movement. His feet touch this flaw and he froze. It moved through the shaft above his hand. More rapidly than before, and with a touch too much eagerness. Arrays Comfort. The Shah fled to the furnace on the other side of the room. The device silent and still. A stalwart sentinel blocking creatures access. Data Relax, but he felt a touch more secure for now. Halfway across the room nestle between dusty boxes of textbooks was an old wooden desk that had once belonged to sound grandmother. Another fellow scientist, her late grandmother, working in botany or maybe geology ray couldn't remember. Sal Consider Graham the inspiration for her science cre-. Rwanda's Graham would have thought of south choices now. Really hadn't paid enough. Attention to sows life at he. He'd seen at bring home this briefcase a number of times, but she always left it in the basements one room. He avoided whenever possible. Logically. Briefcases belonged in offices. While? He doubted she'd been hiding little monsters this whole time she had been hiding the truth of work. He'd been so thrilled to have a girlfriend with a steady income and predictable disposition. The need ignored some. Of those. Creature continued its sliver toward the furnace as he reached her the briefcase. And they've listening to. The specimen wasn't bad enough. The state of the briefcase uttley removed any remaining calm from raise mine. was a nasty little home. The width of a Silva Donna gracing excess. But you'd edges of the whole pushed out not. Confirming it is the specimens origin point. Stat at the RIM briefcase, shaking his head in disbelief. Strong little bugger. Pungent as allow. The same lovely smell of decay wafted from the home. Of the case immediately regretted it as the stink tripled in intensity, tarit inside shredded and goop dried yellow slime. Any, explicit three documents. He might have wanted to examine what to ruin to read. Grimacing. Picking through the papers with his gloved fingers, breathing through his mouth is as possible. Soon enough, the mass yielded several tiny green egg bits. Some of which were stuck fast the dry slime. Catholic pull the shells free until the acquired half a dozen fragments. Focus is he was on his task? Took, a seriously loud clunk erupting from the other side of the basement. Remind Ray the had company. He looked toward the furnace. The thing reached it. With another aggressive bang rammed into the internal pass blocking its power. Again and again the creature attacked the furnace interior with the ferocity of a starving beasts, smelling dinner, throwing itself against his prism. Could him metal bending and grinding could say the furnished shake and vibrate. Occasionally raspy hissing floated out of the device, perhaps the voice, the specimen itself venting frustration. Nervously watched the assault on his furnace. Knowing should be heading for the basement doctor. But also feeling curious now. He was tired of faring a amid blank image in his hands. He had what he needed. But maybe he could wait a moment and see what he was up against. He grip the prime fragments and his left hand van. Baton is rights. Tensed himself to run. The furnace furiously rattled several more times. Ray didn't think it was making progress now. It almost seems stuck in. Found a stress relieving laugh come on. So if you right, he said scouting the thing in his furnace. You enjoy company going to Oh me. A new furnace witnesses all over. Hell might even make me a millionaire after. Fantasies Front cover abruptly bulged out metal, squealing on metal, and the Upper Right Corner Paul free bent out with. The rest of race, comment died in his mouth as he saw movement. something. And snake like trying to force his way out AMIGA GAP IT created. A thing history angrily. His voice laced with belligerent need. Right began backing up to. His eyes fixed on the phone. He's heart pounding. Is Curiosity Dadan buried for now. He held vandal bat out like a crucifix mentally kicked himself complacency. But. It'd be okay if catch the staff before it got free. then. Go free. The hall in the furnace had widened a little further and something long slender and quick dotted out of it. Had hit the floor behind a large collection boxes and went silent. He stopped and listened afraid to move afraid to turn his back flee. He thought he had a scuttle here a skill there, but but it was a hell of a lot quieter out in the open stuck in event. And he knew. He just knew. That he was its target. Realizing that the balance of power shifted. Specimen laid out a long slow his. Particular his felt relaxed. And right had the terrible idea stating for the record. How little it matters whether he ran or stood his ground. It was liberated now. And it was coming for him. Instinct of now and he ran. His body felt to slow the door too far away as he reached the steps, and began leaping up them two at a time, his head, screaming with the certainty of failure. Had Skittish slid off to him. Hissing enjoy, is the chase commenced. The creature grabbing his legs, just as he reached the door, yanking him back into the basement JUSTA. The universe could get his daily dose of sadistic irony. But his feet may the carpet untouched and he slammed the door shots bracing with his body. He stood. Back to the door. Panting! Listening for the specimen reject hug. But the creature gone quiet. Even with the door between him and the specimen. He felt no relief. If the thing was strong enough to wreck. A for is trying to get him. He doubted a door or a blocked off. Events would hold it back forever. What hope he had was in his left hand. Keeping his back brace to the door. He dropped vandal back to the floor, ungloved his right hand and wrinkle the file free of his pocket. Glancing, at the eggshell fragments was hard not to notice the dark green hue. Hopefully what he had adequate, because right now draw a have. The house burned down around him and go back into the basement, unprepared to kill that thing. But least shot one a was easy to understand. Apparently the goes through rapid decay and discoloration after hatching. And the right was so consistent. You could use it like common dating. If this child was rights and raise particular specimen was in stage five. Time premium a skip right to the stage five description. No mincing of words. You're in serious trouble. I wasn't before right commented dryly. Stages two through four. It will see dock paces, inorganic refusal carryanne for feeding. But once hit stage five. It's metabolism great increases. It prepares for stage six. Stopping all time. Humans of all food options. There was made for this purpose. Right shook his head in disgust. The only purpose for something like this covert assassination. audio killer organism. And Wipeout your enemies like the professionals. Border a dozen and get free shipping. Could have sworn that humanity on smarter than this. But the human ego, especially, when mixed with human greed could make even the smartest office incredibly stupid. Specimen will become increasingly aggressive longer. It goes without. His will make it predictable. It also means he's going to count you or anyone else vicinity. And feed well to begin. Stay six. And that's you want. The security team on your locations only authorized to begin a cleansing action if a specimen has hit stage six. You can still kill it if. The door. Ray, yelping and surprise trough the eggshells onto the floor. The Dawn lashed again. Would cracking, splintering as a specimen crashed into. As things enraged. Fill the around. The Damn thing must've crept the stays in stealth mode. A rapid succession of slams continued. His Ray braced the door. Swearing at the Boston to stop and go after one of the Nice troupe is outside. Glossed around for means to jam the doll. Nothing within reach would work. A. Symphony of pandemonium failed the hallway as the dog grown in protest, the creature history anger and ray yelled in fear. Rather abruptly. especially in PROKOFIEV's assault. House falling silent again. The door, facing his buckling. Right didn't know what to make of it. Disbelief forcing him to hold position anticipating another attack. Along minute past, neither gone into silent mode again or was attempting to find another route out of the basement. Not Wasting the moments, ray went back to his pages taking too many precious seconds finding his place again. Dread coiling within him as he expected the assault to renew at any moment. But they're. Staring him in the face. A finally a glimmer of hope. He can still kill it if you apply a liberal amounts of standard bleached skin. stage five specimen tissues especially susceptible to the chemical. Bleach. Regular household bleach. Couldn't the writer of lead with that? If you'd known this from the start, he'd have gone into the basement with a bottle of this stuff and drowned the specimen wind. It was wrecking his. South kept a healthy supply of it in the laundry room. Right always wondered why she liked the stuff so much. Maybe she was preparing for a night like this. Laundry Room was only one doorway. But he'd have to abandon this store. He's felt like a really bad idea. Had No real choice though. Staying here was akin to eventual suicide. The Room wasn't that. Long Quick Sprint and be armed for battle. Easy Breezy Daw. His, next potential heart attack came from an entirely unexpected place. His phone. Dropping the papers to the ground. He asked me device from his pockets and flipped it up. The same unknown numbers perform. It had to be sound. How was this co getting through the wireless blackout? He answered, and the sound of sows voice sent a wave of relief serving through him. God. You still alive. Please tell me you're not. Tell me say. Yes. So far, thank the moments he replied. So. How are we talking? We did it. She said they can hear the triumph and avoids. On my friends, but we have loaded video evidence to several websites and sent copies to a bunch of major publications. To companies on the public radar now. It's in their best interest to keep you alive. Raise relief slowly curdled into suspicion. To be some kind of trick, an attempt by the company to lure amounts. Maybe they coerce sal into cooperating. Hell. How could he trust about anything anymore? What I told you before you did something. She continued. Sending to agents into the House Ray. Going to ask you what you to safety. while. They're gonNA shoot me so. They could shoot you right now. Sal Hata don't be a dumbest tone engaged. Tonight but with an anti material gun had an infrared scope. They've known your location the whole time. Believe me they would prepare to put you down the moment. They got the sums up from the company. Thought had occurred to him. He's getting harder and harder to hide in this modern well that could spy and rain death from on high. Still. He only had her work to go on. His feels to convenience, he said. Resting is back on. The Dole. Wants more none of this convenient right. And it won't be convenient for a long time. The legal in media circus were about to go through. Make your night. Tonight looks like a fun house right. I have making Monster Ray. I'm probably looking at jail time, but right now. Let's just focus on getting you out. Right leaned his head against the basement door blew out a long aggravated Cy. He knew. Sal was saying. She was taking a legal bullet to save his skin exposing her role in the company's experiments in order to end them. Some wasn't the person he thought she was, but she was still the woman who always cleaned up a Massey's. Okay. What do I do now he asked. Don't do anything. Stay where you are and keep your hands visible. Sal explain taken the front door right now. It'll take a couple of minutes. Ray Look down the hall towards the Living Room. He thought he could hear distant noise. He's coming that direction. Why don't they just at the door down? We, don't WANNA. Track this. Drinks, liberations. We don't know where it is right now. Tattoo goon squads infrared. Doesn't show up on infrared. Race War into the phone. His bottle love anger on the verge of release. DAMMIT south. What was going through your head? How could you live with this? She didn't reply. The polls putting ray on edge is a second take by. He felt all kinds of vulnerable. Right here, waiting for a rescue from the very people who've been ready to kill him minutes ago, all waiting for sounds genetic horror to reappear for dinnertime. Ever play with Legos. Right of all the replies rate expected from south. That wasn't one of them. Lego so. I played with them all the time when I was a kid. I was never into Dole's Fru. Fru. I things all kinds of things. Sometimes, it followed plans. Sometimes went wild. You can only bill the that goes, you have. This wasn't any different. The company gave us a set of Legos we built with them. gave us a plan, but the plan never quite work the way we want it. We made it small. But then they got to SMA. We made fast. Then, it grew too fast. We made it vulnerable to household chemicals, but then developed a lethal disease. Shot. This spent three days, but develop station six. I never thought it would be viable. I never thought the company would ever approve your sale. Then I found out. My team wasn't the only one working with a specimen line. Now. There had been breaches elsewhere. So. I can't work in because that was building a case rate. So close to go public. Man Specimen breached on my watch. Rate at all is in. And he certainly had an opinion or two about south decisions. But then he heard the front door swing open. It's hinges squealing and greeting to the two agents entering the house. They quickly came into view. Two men in full puke yellow had suits trading oxygen hoses, and carrying assault rifles quickly moving down the hallway. Right, how does hands up tried looking as non-threatening as possible? Daring to feel a little optimistic now. After all, they had shouted yet. Near the hallway intake vents and it was then that ray had an unhappy epiphany. The youngest specimen that noise Lee squeezed it south through the vents, had grown into a silent as the grave kind of monster. The furnace was fully exposed. The intake show. Guys wait a sec ray shouted, pointing his gloved hand at the vents. Don't. The two agents stopped in their tracks training they guns on him, and ordering him to raise both hands. Ray immediately complied suddenly less confident that he wasn't going to get shown. These hat trick. A yahoos were afraid of him. They were used to burning down homes and clearing up the debt, not selfless rescue. And the lead agent at stop right in front of the whole way then. It was the world's worst Jack in the box coming to life. The vent exploded outward and ray had a great view of the whole debacle, the specimen in all its glory. Something crossed blended, a coiling snake like foam that housed. Centipede legs scales the color of Tar, an orange on wwl caked with slime, mucus and ahead that was all mouth. For split-second he saw the mouth open wide, revealing an overabundance of curved shop T. Right before the mouth found his mind. Oh He mumbled in stock terror. was going through your head. Punch right through the agent suit, and into his neck, the suit's visor quickly coated with blood, the agent, dropping his rifle, and struggling with the creature, falling to the ground as the to arrive in each other's embrace. The other agent backed away and brought up his rifle hesitant opened fire on his partner for for his life, but clearly not wanting to rush in and grapple the creature. Race to them watched frozen in shock as a specimen pulled himself free of the Vent Oh twelve feet of its while it tore into the agent smearing blood over the suit the copyrights wall. The other agents snapped out of his indecision before rated Nora. Do was cover his pain is the rifle spoke filling the specimen with the lead the hallway with tense echoes. But rain not snow splatter, no holes, no pain coming from the creature. Instead, it released its murderous hold on the dying agent and swivelled. It's hideous. Drew June had the second man. The other agent had exactly one second to scream before the specimen did a repeat performance this time burying its head into the victim's chest. Toppling him to the carpet as he yelled out nonsensically. The second agent suffering snapped out of his shock. Now he understood the mentality of the company's cleanup crew why they treated him like a dead man. This thing was compact and powerful living weapon. It had one purpose, and it did it with amazing precision. He had no chance against it. He never had a chance against it. As soon as it got its fill of these two agents, it would likely want dessert. He could hear Sally yelling at him from the phone in his left hand. She was literally so close and so far away. He looked down van. LABATT's still gripped in his right hand and ineffectual piece of wood against this beast. The laundry room. Running on an unstable mix of fair hope, he ran to the laundry room door, flinging. It opened dotting inside while the specimen fan. The bleach bottles were easy to find a rate neatly in the cabinets above the dryer. So loudly demanded to hear from him as he arrested the phone on the drier. But bottle he grabbed, felt about half full. Hopefully it would be enough. He turns the doll hoping to get it the creature while it was still feeding. He turned to face the door. A swift blast of horror frozen in place once again. The specimen was that. Right before the doorway, readopt like Cobra. The insect tar legs on its lower-half digging into the copy to bracelets upper. It's Crimson covered head level with his belly button. His mouth closed. Ray couldn't say it was looking at him as he couldn't see a single I anyway. But it knew he was there regardless. Swayed slightly. If a little uncertain about his exact location off, perhaps debating, which of his bits and pieces, it should go for funds. Should already be dead. They sing move too quickly to efficiently to just stop and take time with him like some be great horror movie creature. Maybe, it got sluggish after a good meal. Maybe it was looking for entertainment instead of deserves. Maybe he'd contemplate away this opportunity if it didn't act already. He had to undo the lid on the bottom. Simple acts felt his dangerous as plucking the correct Wyatt from a bomb detonator. Specimen watched him as his hands slowly closed with each other. Ray Shoving vandal Bat Andres left armpits to free up his fingers on his right hand. And it was one slow and gentle twist after twists as it were the plastic window. Specimen stood their. Quietly thinking whatever it was thinking. I couldn't believe he was going to get away with this. To stay like that for two more seconds you piece of. The moment the cap came free the specimen at his head, pointing to the bottle. A menacing hase erupted has mouth unfolded like flower petals at dawn. Giving ray of front row view of several rows of shot teeth all aimed at him. For the one moment they had together, ray in the specimen had but one thing in common. Instinct. Was Instinct that drove. The specimens head back and then forward striking out raised chest region. It was interesting. That drove. Raise right hand to grab van. Bats handle and swing away awkwardly line panic preventing him from Aiming Prophet. The back collided with specimens open mouth. The creature, chopping down in folding the bat with its mouth, its teeth ripping into the would. Demolishing it as if it were twig. The creatures momentum palms. Ray Cock his left arm back, and Fung Generous Stream of bleach. Right onto the specimens head drenching it. For a long moment, the creature didn't react seemingly confused by the combination of inedible splinters in his mouth and the chemical bath it had received. Drop the remains of Vanderbilt's backed off preparing to douse the creature again as soon as it tried anything. Then his mouth flew open, spraying the flow with Bat, bits and nasty yellow liquid. Hideous cry filling the. Specimen began a dunce of pain banging against the walls, crushing the hamper and scattering close blindly striking his head against anything it could touch. Dense formed in the washer and Dryer, as they bore the creatures fury. And now little rents in the creatures scowls could be seen cracks, forming and widening. With. More of that noxious fluids fourth smearing all over the creatures, upper torso and every surface it touched. To be dying. But, it wasn't dying quickly. Enough. Raise tastes. Ray Flung more bleaches way, but most of it ended up on the floor, and the walls as a creature thrashed bounds. EMT The bottle with one final fling. Mostly giving the Washer a good bleaching. Then moved to grab another bottle from above the dryer. Has. He grabbed it. The specimen bashed into the drier a few inches from him. Pausing this time as aimed its mouth in his direction. Letting looser hiss spoke of de Rage instead of pain. Ray antiquated a strike and tried to dodge away bringing the bottle to bear as a shield. Creature did not strike. But let forth from its bleeding ulcers mouth torrent of cliff fluid streaming out like a squirt bottle. It missed ray shut by men millimeters, but really freaked out justice, same and Iraq backwards from the fluid. The creature pressed its attack switching off the fluid and lashing out like a snake once again, intending to take ray with it, no matter what. Whether. It's instinct, just plain luck. Ray brought the bottle in line with strike. Instead of a pound of flesh or mouthful of splinters. It found a bottle full of poison. His teeth penetrated the plastic container, vile bleak seeping from three dozen separate halls into its mouth and down through. Ray and the creature recoiled from each other. Creatures shaking its head furiously to dislodge the bottle. Ray backpedalled for his life. But. His right-foot found a small puddle of bleach and had nothing to grab onto this time. He fell on his back. And his head connected with something salty. Pain setting all through him. And blackness overwhelming his vision. He caught sight of the specimen going through a new bout of agony dancing as it scales, flaked and disintegrated. But then blackness took over. He saw nothing. Ray didn't have a history of Migraines, but he certainly thought the headache. You was feeling. Qualify as he regained his senses. He was slumped on the floor, the room, quiet and his body, remarkably intact, despite the throbbing in his head and back. He. Was Alive. Some. He was still alive. He, sat up, noticing the dent in the drywall behind him, and the God awful mess in front of him. He didn't think he was out for more than a few minutes, but in that time the specimen was well, not really a specimen any longer. Creatures, body lay half in and half out of the room, as much a puddle of fluids and scales, as it was a colts. Even now ray could see the scales dissolving breaking apart mixing with the yellow fluid that had stood for the creatures Blah. He couldn't recognize ahead though he thought he saw tooth or two floating Nero perforated bleach bottle. He wanted to La. But the pain in his head made such thing unpleasant, and so he smiled instead. He was alive damned if he shouldn't be. He stood up. Kathleen avoiding any and all fluid contact as he surveyed the scene further. Was Janitor nightmare in hand. and. He still had to make it out of the House before the security team change their minds about saving him, but he couldn't see a clear path out of the room, not without stepping on a bunch of fluids. Maybe flooded the room with bleach. The phone. Sow was still on the line. Ray glanced around and saw the phone still on the drier, some having not been smashed or drop between the machines during the cows. It also appeared untouched by fluids. But be safe. He left it on the drier and leaned over. How. He heard Gospel really. Jesus and they told me the two agents were data. Specimen was going after you. All true, he replied. That vast you cooked might be bulletproof, but it can't handle laundry cycle. and. East okay. He felt very tired, a little itchy and his head hurt like hell. But she didn't need to hear all. I'm castle. I. Just need to knife. All the specimen blood on the floor is safe to walk through. But as long as you keep your shoes on, you should be safe. You're going to be spending the next few days going through dekom procedures so. I'll be wearing your favorite. Right laughed at that. Close. What about the house. Safe to say what have to do some remodeling. Absent mindedly scratched his left arm, the part between a shirt and rubber gloves. Then like get to choose the copper this time. It was salvaged. Chuckle. I think you've found the right? Now though. Not risking anyone else if you stay any longer now doing. Anyway. Right picked up the phone with his gloved left hand, and studied picking his way through the fluid filled mess before him, avoiding the bigger puddles, amounts of dissolved flesh as much as possible. The diseases is carries. What does it do to people? You didn't read that section. been busy trying to stay alive so. Basically it caused serious tissue teaching. You Flesh Out? Ray grimaced from the thoughts and added a bit more category steps as he cleared the laundry room. The hallway wasn't any prettier. The carpet and walls liberty stained with both human and specimen blood. But it was a clear path through. Just trump over the bodies and he. He's left arm got much each year. As. He put his right hand to the spot. He felt something new. He lowdown down on his own. Right to the ITCHY patch. Sore cluster. Of Reddish bumps. Each the size of a standard pimple. No pain. No flesh mounting vibe coming from the spot. But for sure, this wasn't normal skin behavior. He felt the itching intensify briefly. But rather than scratch watched the bumps intently. And nagging fear growing within him. Then, he so one bump move. was. Bali noticeable. But it wriggles slyly. He washed transfixed as the other bumps followed suit. Each little tremor accompanied with an increasing itching sensation. Why couldn't, BE, entirely sure. He thought he could see. The bumps grow with each movement. As if he'd contracted the world's fastest growing rash. This wasn't a rash. This was way was. He almost told sal what was happening. Almost screamed at had to help him. Some part of him new better. If! He told Sal. They know. Be Show before you went down that final rub. The file pages lay scattered where he drop them away from the gruesome battleground. It only took a minute to find the page he needed. The information that he dreaded. He read with a grim. He ignored the growing crawling sensation in his left arm. He knew now while the specimen hesitated before attacking him. Why it had sprayed clear fluid. The fluid was what separated stage five from stage six. and. It must have gone on him during the struggle. Mistake six by SOM. No longer hunted for food. It had other things in mind. He had had best an hour. An hour would not be pleasant. Right Sounds voice drag him back to reality. Right. Come out now. I'm outside with them. We're not gonNA shoot I. Promise You. It's already so very heavy. He nearly blurted out what had happened. By the words wouldn't come. His legs acted in stands, moving him through the hallway, walking him through the path in the carnage past the two dead agents through the living room and up to the front door. Artificial light poured through the open doorway. The outside world awaiting his egress. He felt like a Rockstar. Making entrance only there would be no adoring audience here. Sal. I only want one promise. He said into the phone, keeping his voice steady to avoid alarming her. Promise me. You've learned from this. That was a long pause for a moment. Right wondered if she'd figured out his intentions. But when she finally responded, that was only communist voice. Things are going to be different from now. I'm sure they will be. He remarked. He tossed the phone away, then pulled the rubber gloves his left arm. The bumps were even bigger now. The who's outside couldn't possibly miss them. They do what was necessary. He raised his arms high. Took a deep breath. And Walk Outside. So I'm dinger the story. If you hope you enjoyed that one. Recorded Cross to continental, less started in Turkey and finished off in the Netherlands well. I'm exhausted after that one, but of course I will be back again with another story in a couple of days. Can you believe it? You better believe it? Well. Definitely is enough for me for one evening, but again I was. Very, very but till. Sweet Dreams and Bible. Toes! Thank you so much for choosing to spend your time listening to me now. If you enjoy the doctor cream, experience and come, find me on facebook. Come chat with me on twitter. Listen to the background music downloaded. If you come soundcloud dropped by the stall pickup a teasha. Importantly. If you go to store, you'd like me to. Send it to talk to creep? Celebrated I set up so that I could read your story. Looking forward to seeing your again real certain so. Come check me out okay.
"Dirt" from Martin & Sylvia: More Adventures!
"Hello this is David of sparkle stories and welcome to the podcast this week we are celebrating parenting and how amazing your parents are my my word. Do they work hard and they are trying the best that they can. They really are they may not be very similar to Martin. Martin and Sylvia's parents in fact. I don't know that there are parents like Martin and Sylvia's parents but they are magical inspired the creative clear and sometimes strict in their own way so in honor of parents around the world we bring a story from Martin and Sylvia called dirt in which their parents navigate a messy situation enjoying dirt. Martin and Sylvia live in a tall house with lots of windows from their second can story loft bedroom they can see their entire back yard with the Tall Maple and oak trees on one side and the horse fence offense that borders the browns farm on the other along the back of their yard as a stand of Birch and willow trees that line slow moving brooke brother and sister play in this Brooke all year long catching crayfish in the summer sailing leaf boats in in the autumn harvesting ice in the winter and enjoying the mud in the spring when they look over the railing in their bedroom room they can also see their kitchen dining room and the living room which is often the center of family fun most of their toys stuffed animals and costumes for dress up or upstairs in their bedroom but their favorite place to play with them is downstairs. There's in the living room sometimes they move the couch and used cushions to build forts or use as scenery for plays is the couch has been a pirate ship. A dog sled submarine and airplane traveling around the world. Martin and Sylvia loved to use their immagination this summer Martin who is seven and loves time with his friends and Sylvia who is is five and loves wearing costumes and playing pretend both attended a half day camp on town lake called camp imp imagination every day. The camp counselors took them on hikes around the lake where they explored the natural world and then pretended to be bugs or birds or water creatures inevitably. They got pretty dirty. Mama always prepared for pickup at lunchtime with a change of clothes in a clean towel. Mama loved that brother and sister were having such a good time but Momma love to tidy house and tidy car. She did not want all the dirt from they're fun to come home with them and so she came prepared one day. Both Martin and Sylvia were invited to go home with a new friend named clair who lived on a farm outside town the plan was that they would walk declares House with Clair's mother who would pick them all up at camp before lunch. Their farm wasn't far so everyone could walk to class house and then change out of their camp close and then have lunch and play brother and sister. Were very very excited about a play date with their new friend that afternoon when daddy picked up at Clair's daddy saw that Martin and Sylvia were beaming they clearly had a good time he also noticed that there was hey in Sylvia's hair and birds serves on Martin's socks and the clean clothes they changed into. We're now quite dirty well. You two had a fun day of getting getting really dirty said daddy smiling at them. In the rear view mirror as they drove away. I see hey in the hair and burs on the socks. Fox and dirt just about everywhere some good old fashioned messy fun. It's really fun at clairs. Said said Martin as he looked out the window. They have a pony and a Hayloft in a field with paths in it. Did you know that in Clair's Clair's house they go inside the house with shoes on asked Sylvia with wide eyes and even though we had just just been stomping around their pond we got to come in and sit on their couch with dirt all over US daddy not at his head and said everyone has their own ideas of what is clean and what is dirty you know one of my best friends and when I was growing up lived on a farm I remember going over to his house all the time and being amazed at how well they didn't mind dirt. I mean it was a Nice House with Nice things. It was just well. It had more dirt than I was used to and one time my friend's is mother caught me noticing some mud on the couch and she said we are farmers. We work with dirt. We love our dirt and we don't mind wind bringing a little inside with us. Well it made sense to me. We love our dirt two exclaimed Sylvia admiring miring. Her dirt streaked pants don't we Martin. Yeah said Martin raising up. His grass stained hands. Daddy laughed oft Martin and Sylvia were quiet for a while as they imagined what it would be like to just walk inside without taking your your shoes off for wearing dirt streaked close a second day or even sitting inside with dirt on your clothes they imagined their house with just a little dirt here and there and they imagined both Mama and daddy being okay with that when they got home Daddy. He told them that he would get them some clean clothes but Martin said I'd like to play outside. Some more yeah said Sylvia. I like to be dirty. Sounds good to me. I'll be in the basement if you need me fixing a drainpipe and probably getting a bit dirty myself reply daddy as yes he went inside brother and sister decided to go to the dirtiest modest muggiest place they could think of the brook when they got there they could see that it was slow and it didn't have much water. This was normal for the summertime but on this particular visit brother brother and sister didn't care because there was a lot of mud on either side of the slow trickle they smiled at each other and then they started to play an hour later both of them had mud on their pants mud on their shirts on their faces and lots of mud on their boots on top of that they still had the burs on their clothes in the grass and their hair they laughed at each other and then they decided to go back to the house. We're going to have to take baths said Sylvia with a giggle. Martin was quiet for a few human rights and then he said Daddy said that some farmers don't mind having dirt in the House and then he said that it made sense yeah aw said Sylvia not sure what Martin had in mind well we have gardens and we go next door all the time to work with the browns and he said shrugging his shoulders so maybe where farmers to and may be daddy would be okay if some dirt came came in the House to said Sylvia raising her eyebrows yeah. That's what I was thinking said Martin you WanNa try being muddy farmers okay said Sylvia and then she laughed all. I'm a muddy farmer. Then they walked into the mud room they took their boots off but left their muddy shirt and pants on. They stood at the edge of the living room and looked at each other. You still have hey in your hair said Martin you have burs all over your back now said Sylvia well. That's just what it's like for. Muddy farmers said Martin Martin who nodded and then he walked in with Sylvia following. They saw that the basement door was open. Daddy called called Martin. I'm down here fixing waterpipe. It'll be a bit you can all read books for awhile and I'll come up when I'm finished. It's pretty messy. Business Miss Brother and sister looked at each other shrugged then walked past the kitchen and into the living room. What what do you want to do asked Sylvia now looking a little nervous. What do muddy farmers do read books. Folks asked Martin Okay and sit on the couch. She asked wrinkling her nose. Well Daddy's friend and did remember said Martin Taking Book Okay Sylvia who then took a breath in looked at Martin with with her wide eyes and then they both sat down at first neither of them wanted to move around very much they could feel the mud on their ankles and the dirt on their elbows it felt strange to sit on their couch and get burs and grass grass and mud on it after a few minutes however they relaxed and they focused on their books and even snuggled up and then some time later. Mama arrived home from work hello. She sang out as she walked in. I'm Momma said Ed Martin and Sylvia both deep in their books and forgetting that their close had dirt all over them how was imagination nation camp and Oh you had a play date today didn't you mama put her bag down on the dining room chair and then walked into the living room to gaze on her darling children but when she saw the dirt and the mud and the grass and the burs on their clothes ooh and faces and hands as they sat with their books on the previously clean couch her mouth opened in amazement amazement Martin Sylvia Oh dear. What are you doing where reading books said Sylvia still forgetting that she was covered head to toe in dirt but you are covered it. Oh said Martin suddenly remembering their experiment. He spoke cautiously where muddy farmers. Mama's is looked like they were going to pop muddy. Farmers Brother and sister could see that it wasn't going thing over very well with Momma. Daddy said that he had a friend who lived on a farm started. Martin quickly and his family loved the dirt and in Clair's house they wear their dirty shoes inside added Sylvia who then stood up. I see however said Mama speaking very slowly. She took a deep breath before we talk any further. I want you to get up very slowly very slowly and then go outside and hose yourselves off and then when you are nice and clean you can help me wash the couch but no not right now will talk it all out when you are nice and clean. We were just hush. Hush called Mama shooing them out of the house. Tell me everything when you are cleaned up. Brother and sister could tell that Momma didn't care for the dirt experiment they did as Mama asked. They went outside side. They took their dirty clothes off and turned on the garden hose. They washed away all the mud and the dirt. Sylvia washed the hay out of her hair. Errand Martin washed the grass stains off of his hands and when they came back into the mud room dripping and chilly Mama was waiting with towels nice and clean thank you. I got you each a set of fresh clothes said Bama who was still speaking slowly and taking being deep breaths. Why don't you get dressed and then as we clean up the couch and the floor you can tell me all about being muddy farmers once brother and sister were dressed in their clean clothes. They surveyed the room. They could see exactly exactly where they had been sitting as they were still muddy impressions on the couch. The books had little fingerprints and there were smears on the floor from their muddy sox. Let's take the slip cover off the couch and the pillow covers to said Mama. I'm sorry Momma said Sylvia quietly as she helped mama to remove the covers. I don't want you to be mad. I'm not mad so much as well while shocked. I like things tidy and I don't believe I've ever ever seen such a muddy mess. Why don't you tell me what happened said Mama as they cleaned. Sylvia told Momma all about Clair's house and how they were surprised about how they didn't seem to mind having dirt inside Martin then talked about Daddy's friend and how daddy said that they were farmers. They loved their dirt and that it made sense to him so so we thought thought that it would be fun to be muddy farmers to and to do what muddy farmers do said. Martin as he looked up at Mama said Mama. Let me tell you how I see it. In our house. We try to be clear. The outside and the inside are different. The outside has all wild things the natural world trees loud voices running and wrestling and dirt. The outside is beautiful in a wild way but the inside is different. The inside is beautiful clean and organized way. We make our beds. We clean our dishes and we sweep the floors. When we we are inside we use quieter voices and we read books. It's different does that make sense Martin and Sylvia brother and sister. You're not their heads and I just like things tidy and by the way there are plenty of farmers who like things tidy as well added Mama quickly. She planted a kiss on each of their heads. Thank you for understanding before Mama continued. They heard daddy come upstairs. From the basement. He walked out of the stairwell and stood on the wood floor of the living room. He was wearing his dirty boots and he had yucky wet looking stuff all over his shirt and his arms he was holding an in oil wrench and he had a few smears of dirt on his face and on his hat and he was frowning. He glanced briefly at the three of them mm-hmm as he crossed the room tracking dirt on the floor. He disappeared into the laundry room. Brother and sister weren't sure what to think. Here was daddy all covered in dirt from the basement and he just walked through the house. They looked at Momma who was studying the a dirty tracks on the floor before any of them could speak daddy came out of the laundry room with a big rag this time he noticed the look on their faces and stopped. What is daddy then looked down and saw that he was wearing his muddy boots. Then then he noticed the dirt he had tracked into the Living Room. I see he said quickly he bent down to clean up the dirty tracks tracks with his rag as he bent over however his dirty hat fell off and landed on the floor as he tried to catch that he dropped his wrench which landed next to his hat leaving an oil mark. Mama and Martin and Sylvia began to Laugh Daddy. Addi exclaimed Sylvia. Do you need a soapy towel. I can get it said Martin getting up and maybe a broom. I'll get get the broom said Mama with a big smile on my way to get daddy some clean clothes. Daddy's stood up and held his hands out. Hey I fixed the drainpipe and then he started to laugh Yay now. Let's let's get daddy all tidy said Sylvia. I'll take your boots and then Mama. Martin and Sylvia got to work helping make the inside of the house tidy once again. This has been an original story by sparkle stories of sparkle stories dot com copyright two thousand thirteen all rights reserved. We hope you enjoyed it.
A Cuppa God ep#23 Jesus Our Intercessor
"Henry Welcomes God. It's a recession. Futures is acidic but he's host media and Jesus aren't assess from Cambridge who is pulling the day those hold firmly Rufus Bruce Fourteen Jesus grind since falls breezy in Jesus. God is hold firmly. Rufus who do not have high praises enabled feel sympathy for our uses. The we haven't been every way just as we are yet. She did not certain of win. Convince so that we never receive mercy in how this need president specimen until the holdings seven. How BOYS SHOULD BE CHOSEN? There's no from whenever we think we can get wilder without dangerous. We have relying Jesus was exposed to this. We are thinking to see for us to go to get just foods interest other than Yoga and relationship with ignition. Go I got for you. Don't rest fully here telling me what he has because the enemies rags on us being overweight and having plate enemy will always trying to regain the place that is made him loose is sliced confused. Destroy Clarity's thing enemy hayes. Most knowing your is clearly and keeping them when we slide into authors and overwhelm is Sir John Jesus catches to intercede to hell intentionally. Because we can't do it without some of us who work shift. So never know when the Knicks Andy whenever it is time and Tom of nothing but and historic prepares for next to help me settle on garrison. The faller Paran If you longing to get close in crisis to have Christ guide years of your life together you India every decision in your every step three day. Three priors through your worship. We've go conference on the twentieth of June tennis. You bring some read and will cover off. That will equip you to get closer t to cross three. You're every day you're pro-life your your worship as well so to get into this to sign up at the you know knowing the presence of Christ. This blessing comes from Celtic Day. Prep Book One midday that nothing disturbed the thing like the all things are passing Gordon? Chang Jeff Vision. Injuries identify through all things who got positive. Nothing is wanting take other than God. Hi I'm Adam Walker the host of real pink a podcast from Susan G Komen over the last year. I've had the opportunity to meet so many people affected by breast cancer. I've interviewed thought leaders celebrities doctors and men and women living with breast cancer. Their stories are so inspiring in really informative. We're taking conversations from the doctor's office to the Living Room. Please join us by looking up. Susan G Komen Ze Real Pink on podcast APP and subscribe today. Hi I'm Adam Walker the host of real pink a podcast from Susan G Komen over the last year. I've had the opportunity to meet so many people affected by breast cancer. I've interviewed thought leaders celebrities doctors and men and women living with breast cancer. Their stories are so inspiring in really informative. We're taking conversations from the doctor's office to the Living Room. Please join us by looking up. Susan G Komen Ze Real Pink on your podcast APP and subscribe today.
Bonus: Excerpt from "The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home"
"Hey Jeffrey Craner here and we have a new novel it is called the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home it is the story of well it's the story of the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home it's a revenge story a horror story and we could not be more excited to finally share it with you. I think it's our best awful yet. Plus the audio book is narrated by our very own Mara Wilson what follows my voice. Here is an excerpt from the book. Read by Night Villes own Mara. Wilson Wilson. Mara is doing the audiobook. BTW AND CHECKOUT WELCOME TONIGHT VILLE DOT COM or listen to our February fifteenth episode to find out all of the dates and locations. Shinzo our book tour hopefully coming to your town maybe we can crash on your couch the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home comes out March twenty fourth but you can pre-order for it right now this second pre ordering is one of the best ways to support authors. You like so do that wherever it is you buy your books. Plus there are signed signed additions available to you just for you check out. WELCOME TONIGHT VILLE DOT com slash books to get those links. Okay here's the first sneak peek of the faceless eisold woman who secretly lives in your Home Cragg Twenty Eleven. I set your shoes on fire. All of them there in the trash can by the rental office. They're still smoldering. The side of the plastic caustic been has melted away in Stuart Department for when three has already made four calls to the super. He didn't answer because I locked him in his bathroom. Because I didn't want the fire put out just yet. It's nice the smell of burning. I used to not like it as it reminded me of a particularly bad moment in my early life but but that was so many years ago and now enjoy the smell of burning burning anything rubber cloth skin and small amounts hair indefinitely hair even would a fireplace on a cool winter night a campfire on a warm summer night a house as a family of four flees. He's leaving behind everything they've ever owned to be consumed by flames plus there's true beauty and black ash quivering around bright orange edges. It's Art Craig. I know you appreciate art. Also the birds are alarmed. And I find that funny you Mr date tonight. Because he couldn't find your shoes which is why I'm telling you now that they're on fire in a quickly melting plastic bin then when you try to rush to a shoe store. Your car wouldn't start because someone broke in Enin jammed glass shards into the ignition. or at least that's what the locksmiths said when she came to investigate the problem. Who Do something like that you you wanted? Her professional opinion she only shrugged and said she'd have to replace the ignition. Switch which would take a couple of days and cost four hundred dollars. I suppose I could have used the a glass shards slash your tires to keep you from your date. It would have been cheaper for you but it wouldn't have been as beautiful. I don't think you notice the perfect arc of blood splatter water across the floor Mat when you cut your hand on the ignition. You screamed in pain ignoring the beauty of your own nature so please take a moment into look out the window by the shower and appreciate the artwork I have created. I call it Craig's impertinence multimedia plastic gasoline and shoes But you're too busy moping even standing in that shower for ten minutes. I know because I'm in here with you a faceless old woman inches from your neck you would feel my breath. If I still breathe I think would be upsetting for you. If you turned around better to let the water run over you better better not to see. You haven't even touched the soap you with traffic. Why because you missed a date with a woman who was pretty and shared similar loves ebbs and seemed genuinely interested in you or because when you want to try to reschedule with her? She accused you of texting her and inappropriate photo. When in fact you did no such thing? You can't hear for me. These are rhetorical questions anyway. I don't need a response. You wouldn't even know how to respond to me after all you don't know I'm here even after that one day a year ago when you pass by the Living Room and half noticed the strange new chandelier hanging from the ceiling the one made from the twisted limbs and neck of an old woman been contorted into a shape like spider and then you thought wait. What did I just see and you backed up to find? The hanging. Woman was gone almost certain she I was never there probably imagined her. I can see why you're upset. The woman did not go on a date with his two. No one wants nice to have a first date. Cancel on them. And then have that same day inexplicably text them a photo of a raccoon having its intestines not out by a coyote. I mean I would want that but I've never really been dating. Although it is true that once I was deeply in love so I can only assume most women would not like that kind of behavior. I forgot to mention. She received a text from you while you were trying to get your car fixed. That included a photo of a coyote devouring raccoon the coyotes for was a glistening. Read about the mouth. It's is golden like a cornfield. The raccoons neck is clearly broken and its organs are pink and grey. I'm sure she was disgusted. But honestly she's made of similar materials. So are you Craig. I'm not sorry. I sent her that photo using your phone own and you shouldn't be either. It was a good photo. A discomforting reminder of snowden secret that man is matter. Did you ever read catch twenty ninety two. It's a funny sad book about moral hypocrisy and self interest. My favorite part is how cold snowden God when is small intestine unraveled from beneath his flack jacket. That's not a spoiler because that book's been out for decades and you should have read it by now plus you can't even hear me you would not enjoyed your date with Giselle. I'm sure but that's not the point. The point is that Giselle wasn't right for you. I know this because I've spent the past three nights in her home while she slept. I've skittered along the hallway. Stare behind her as she climbed and burrowed into her trash to nap among the rotting things. She keeps her possessions quite organized. I I like this about her and made it easier for me to go through her photo albums medical records and diaries. I won't go into specifics because that would be invasive. Have I'm not like that. Giselle keeps a great deal of physical photos. She likes to look through them when she is feeling nostalgic or overwhelmed. I took a crafting knife and carved away the faces from the photos. I only did this to people who are not her parents or grandparents. I think family's important children children are the most important. Have you thought about children. Craig to sell does not seem interested in having children. She wants to go to law school and opened her own firm. She wants to travel a lot too. And you don't want that believe me. I've traveled enough both of us. The world is awful. There's only flesh and illness out there. You'll be fine right here in night. Vale don't worry. We'll find another person to date. They will travel and be selfish selfish and not raise a family. They will never know the joy of raising a handsome gentle smart boy like you and they won't care. That's that's good for them. I'm only saying you don't want that. I know you Craig. I know what is good for you and this would not have been good anyway. That bridges burned now. I suppose along with your shoes. You'll never hear from her again. No I was wrong. She just texted back. You're missing missile. Your brooding in the shower Craig W. F. is wrong with you. She writes you two are done before you ever even got started another text. Please don't contact me again please. Okay what I read. Initially as anger is probably fear. You scared shared her Craig. We scared her. I'm going over to her place now to block your number on her phone so she doesn't have to deal with the emotional devastation of getting some mumbling. Bley apology text from you done. She looks in bad shape. All her lights are out and she sitting on the edge of the couch staring at nothing then for a moment. She saw flicker of me beside her crooked figure with no face and she screamed she so dramatic about everything. You are better off. Maybe this is a bad time to bring this up but you need to pay your credit card bill. It's maxed out and missed the past two due dates and the thing is and this is going to sound selfish because it is but your netflix account cut suspended and I was only halfway through season three of chairs. The laugh track is a bit off putting but it's still a good it show. I really love the plot. Twist norms nagging wife. Faira turns out to have been dead for ten years and norm has kept her memory alive by continuing a fictional narrative about her. Sam and Diane knew that bureau wasn't really alive and that norm was delusional but episode seven. When they go to check in on norm they find him cuddled up next to her decayed corpse and reading her Lord? Byron's the first kiss of love and he's crying. The stench is unbearable but less unbearable than the brutal truth of the moment. My my point is I didn't get to finish watching cheers because you're behind on your credit card payments. I need you to deal with that also. You're wasting water standing in the shower for so long stop rooting. I will run one of my jagged yellow fingernails along the back of your neck your father used to brood. All the time drove your mother crazy. He had a lot of stress and would come home crying. He would sit in his car parked along a curve. A block away just breathing in sobbing breathing breathing. Some more until his eyes and cheeks were clear of their red lines. Your mother thought he had depression. He did not. It's dangerous to do do that to people. You know diagnosed with a mental health condition. If you're not a doctor I secretly live in everyone's home and I have seen people coping APP not coping with depression Russian. Your Father Donald did not have depression. He had a difficult time coming to terms with cancer and eventually his body gave out. Lots of men in your family died young but your father comparatively lived a long life. He got to see his forty day. He got to raise a son. You when you were little he called you big man and then when you grow up and you certainly grew up six three a quarter foot taller than your own dad. By the age of fifteen he called you little guy he loved you and cared for you like the father he never had your paternal grandfather Jacob. ABC died when Your Dad was only seven years old but Jacob had been in a coma for four years before that after the hunting accident that ripped away nearly half of his skull. He was carrying a shotgun carelessly. He tripped and the gun went off as did a good portion of his head. The spray of blood really was beautiful but I. I suspect you wouldn't have appreciated it. Then either people so rarely take the time to appreciate what is around them. Donald wanted you to have a loving father someone to teach you to ride a bike to read to be respectful to others to be creative. He were terrible at Guitar. It to be fair. So was your father but the important thing was that it was something you could be terrible at together and you've always loved music even if you can't play a single instrument donald was a good and giving giving father he loved you having a father. Who loves you so important I know this well? You're watching your diet and and this is good. I want you to be healthy and you are. I took some of your blood the other night while you were sleeping. Sorry I couldn't find a syringe and ended up using a knife from Rome that I've carried with me for a very long time. I took her blood to the night. Ville General Hospital on surreptitiously replaced Harrison. kipps sample your bloodwork. Came back perfect. Perfect apparently this was good news for Harrison to he and his doctor were so amazed at his extraordinarily high haemoglobin. Count came back normal for once. Your father's early death haunts you. I'm sure that's normal and I'm glad you are health conscious because of it. Your father's body body was filled with so many artificial chemicals in carcinogens over the years his cancers and they were money were product personal choices. Not Genetics I'm old older than you can imagine. Probably older than I can imagine and I have met nearly everyone in your family tree going back well over a century century. There's very little cancer there. Rest assured of course you get here. See Me and I'm fine with that because I prefer you stay on your healthy path but really please work at your finances. Pay That credit card. Bill I want you to take care of yourself because I think you're a nice man Craig. I've known you your whole life and and you have a beautiful heart. You Care so much for your friends your family and even the people less fortunate than you. You only had three hundred dollars in your account last Christmas and yet you still donated two hundred Doctors Without Borders. It's hard not to like you Craig. I WanNa help you live a good life. Raise a good family teach your future sons love and respect. His children is what your father would have wanted what all father should want but please the water water in the shower is starting to run cold anyway. The fire trucks just arrived about the pile of burning shoes. Hurry Andrey off so you can see I made for you Craig. I'm not going anywhere. You a part of my story. A story that started more than two hundred years ago on an estate by the sea. It's a long story but don't worry we have so much time still left if you enjoy this excerpt you you can preorder the book now signed editions of the faceless. Old Woman who secretly lives in your home are available to so go to welcome tonight. VILLE DOT COM for links to all of those those things and on February fifteenth. Look for our big Old Book Tour Announcement Starting March Twenty fourth. The book's release date. I'm real excited. y'All and hey thanks.
Episode 195 Is Your Business Apocalypse Proof?
"Welcome to the casual Fridays. Rei podcast where you'll learn about the wildly profitable Mitch of Land Investing Active Lane Investors Adam Southie and Justin sleep while are here to share their experiences with you so that you can learn how to build a massive cash flow and huge profits from this highly lucrative niche so without further ado here your host Adam Southie and Justice Leva. Hey what's up guys? I'm Adam Southie here with my co host just and Liba and this is the casual. Fridays are e podcast. Today we're GONNA be talking about how prepared you are for this Zombie apocalypse that we're going through avoided that though let's talk about the casual Fridays R. E. I. Consulting Program Guys Basically. We're here to help. It doesn't matter if you're brand new this and you just want some help. Picking and pricing a county been at a while looking for some help on ways to expand. I gotTa do is go to our website at. Www DOT casual. Fridays R. E. DOT COM. Click on the consulting TAB walked to the sign up. We'll be in touch to help get started. Have you day. Hey happened Monday man i. I hope we don't our lightheartedness towards this is not taking the wrong way because we are taking it serious but design the apocalypse. Kind of sounds like we're not yeah. I don't want it to come across like thinking about I'll last week so I don't want to come across like We don't aren't taking some are taking serious. I am more annoyed. I like I said before like I know I acknowledge that corona virus exist. I am so fed up with people's reactions with though the hysteria has driven me nuts over it I just I wanna unframed everyone who still posting about it like we have a friend. I can tell that they are just like still eight up about it like they're going to catch it and die. Yeah and you don't think they will. I don't think I think that people that you're on this one because Vozuca folks well I think people are obviously people are dying is dangerous but take a second look at the facts. It's not like yeah. More people are killed by other other viruses every year. Yeah my I think my my biggest concern is that you know we look at it from the can spread extremely quickly and this thing has a long lasting shelf-life in our I call it. A shelf has a along just station period. If you will the sits on on port services and whatnot so it can spread and it's and that's the that's the scary part about this. The thing that really throws me into a loop though is like my wife just sent me a text while we're sitting here that says hey. The second case has been confirmed in Johnson County where we live. And I'm like okay. Well what about in December when half the kindergarteners were out of school because they had flu a flu? Be Or STREP. And where we? We've shut down schools now till almost April fourteenth. I believe is is for kids to go back some of the other areas around her April third April ninth. And that's the thing that's got me kind of concerned I'm like okay. We have two cases for this but you know in December just in with what we have. Every year that comes through the flu viruses different flus the strap and and we had one kid had both flu types and STREP. He's in first grade in their school and he was just in realized that and they sent him home. You know what I'm like. My son was home for five or six days because he was sick during that time but half the kids in kindergarten gone and that that makes me more nervous. Yeah I guess. That's what's the whole part that bothers me. Is that like you said there was three viruses going around at the exact time right the flu one two and strapping and be what they called it. And no one. Even blinked tonight. Don't even care. Yeah and the flu kills a lot of people every year. Yeah I I was thinking about the time line of what was going on in China. You know you're having a protests going on we're trying to get to trade deal trade deal get signed magically. Flu comes out of the area. The protests disburse then it. Does it get out of hand and come to us our pumping a trillion dollars into the economy? I'm not super big conspiracy theorist but I just I'm like what else is in these bills. It's getting past right now in the name of mercy the Patriot Act. Just got re reinvigorated where they can spy on some just. I really really curious here. But that's not what today shows about but this kind of about all this. I mean it does take you it. Brings you back to say okay? Here's your business ready for you. The unknown the The flu the virus that may wipe out everybody any natural disaster. Nine eleven nine eleven. So what is Your Business? Look like is it prepared for it and you know how we can prepare for it. Yeah there's been so many things I've kind of popped up that I hadn't thought about until until like this kind of happy no You start thinking about because we use pat live. We'll all those people are sitting next to each other on a call center every day. And then now you're supposed to be La- groups of less than ten or less than whatever and you can't be around people so there's pat live shut down. So I started researching their website and they're frantically trying to hire remote workers. I don't know if they've been remote already but it says they're they're definitely hiring remote workers right now and I was thinking well that would. That's a pretty good feel safe failsafe. Yeah if they already had it. Okay well that part of Your Business is safe. But it wasn't even something I hadn't even thought about four. Yeah just the different title. Companies have seen a lot of those people that I know in. The business are working from home now. A lot of title. Underwriters already did that though like they they had so many titled Things they had to do at home and they would just researching at home or just Undergrad. The policies at home and they weren't actually in office. You know you have your. Your closing. Agents are in the office and their title assistance. But the person that they're going to the title plants a lot of those virtual awhile back so I mean we're seeing we're seeing how the human business mind can react to some of this school for our. They're asking us to pick up their packets on Thursday so we can continue teaching foreign. I'm Kinda like wait a second here. You know. We're paying a lot of property taxes. Were things like that you know. Yes you want the best kid. You don't want to fall behind. You want him to be educated but at the same time. That's kind of not what a Kinda signed up for. I guess I did as a parent and so it's a you know I look at the business side for like you said the call centers and how that can shift your business really quick. Do you have a backup way if that were to shut down the stuff you haven't title or do your people. Are they still getting the titled Work Done or they still gonna be closed because a lot of our closings you're done remotely where they send people out to one of the questions? We saw pop up around the facebook world. Was what happens about self quarantine to notaries. You know what are the options for that and how we worked through it yeah All your notes. Yeah right if you're if you're living on notes and the people that are paying them are losing their jobs. If there are affected by corona are you? How do you handle that? Are you? Put Him on the back any different payments? Or you help them out. I luckily haven't had that happen yet. Everyone is kind of paid for the month. So it'll be over the next week or two or maybe three that I see if people will be defaulting on Mine Dino Years Yeah had three that are in kind of somewhat of trouble ahead to reach out you know within a couple of days before their their thing and one of them reset after he was he was forty five days late and was like. Hey man it's Kinda tight. Can you help me out here? And so he didn't get as much help as the other ones. But for the other ones reach out proactively I went ahead and just deferred payments so that that gets them and it just going to tack onto the back for him but that was a quick easy way just to say. Hey you know willing to help but you know for us if we have whatever notes everybody could default. Everybody does that you. Defer you lose some months of revenue for your company. Yeah because we're small businesses to And so you want to be nice and you want to help people because we're all going through this together but on the back end of that you got bills to pay. Yeah no you do. And that's the that's the human element of this will kill us. No other places helping out you know like we've seen a bunch of like for me like my company that holds my truck. They're deferring for one hundred twenty days if you want to all you have had like defer between days and they'll do it And that's kind of for me. I was like well. You know if they'll do that for me I could pro- I can afford to do that for a couple of people but then you start looking at cash reserves and in your company. How long do you keep mu? How long can you keep moving with your cash reserves? D Put a hold on your acquisitions? Do you ramp up any type of your marketing. And I think that's all just A. It's all going to play into these decisions. We MAKE FOR OUR BUSINESS. I I I mean. We've done a lot of questions out there but you know what? What are some actionable items that we can do? I think it's good to put these questions. Authors journalists thinking about on ranker's battle thing I hadn't even thought about it and so then you start putting a plan in place I've heard people have been in the central longtime when something dramatic like this happens. Half your notes can go way but but then you start asking yourself well. What about me even do my business? Do I start. Do I keep mailing right now? I mean we just had a bunch of male go out a taste Friday. It went out two days ago. And that was nine thousand nine thousand units before and then the week before was another eight thousand fifteen thousand in the last two weeks and on some of the stuff that we may still getting responses on stuff. We had mail out from January and February and that kind of told some of these people. Hey we're checking checking access. I'm dragging my feet a little bit longer on the inspection periods. You know what I'm saying. Hey you know got to get somebody out there. You know the bigger stuff holding off to see what the market's doing because it does change. The dynamics does land lose value. No but does it. It could lose some of its market the market. That buys it on the back end. Yeah we're buying that such good price right that even if the market goes down. You're hoping that you still bought it. Well enough yeah I mean if the goal is to buy in that twenty five to thirty five percent range. We're in real big trouble. If things are dropping yeah seventy percent of market value. I mean I don't think we're going to get to that point but does it affect your exit strategies. Is Somebody going to go to the 401k? And pull hundred grand out to buy one hundred thousand property you're alone against a 401k. Because now it's taking a hit or thirty percent so do our whole time get a little bit longer and you know you hear like you said You. Listen TO PEOPLE SAY. They lost half their notes. Overnight I listen. I talked to a lot of the guys that were in the last housing recession that bought and sold houses and they wish they would have bought and held more and not flip. Everything out of panic you know they. They had the cash to hold. That could put rentals in place and tried to do that. So you know a couple things that said there. You know for me on my business. My facebook marketing. I've ramped up. You know the ad spend on Geo targeting and the reason I I did that is because my thought is. If they're not at work they're playing on facebook and getting a ton of leads still off. My facebook is generating a ton of interest. And it's just Geo drips that are you know ten to fifteen days long twenty dollars in ads. Men and I've got like twenty or twenty five of going right now In different markets on different properties. And it's just driving a tunnel leads and you know as it comes so that you heard one of my sales calls earlier that came in on a property that I've had for a little while and guys like I'm going to the bank now to see approved and you know I think there's two people going in on it together. I don't think is Sydney. This properties fifteen thousand dollars loan value. I would assume on the low side so people are still looking is just. You're going to have to be in front of them now. Does the old fashioned just WANNA go blast on craigslist or? Do we change it to a facebook. Look facebook marketplace. You know there's still people interested in looking. It's just going to be the property types. GonNa Change a little bit. I think and the exit strategy This is a really good time to be testing that. While you're all self quarantined at home. I got nothing else to do. And if you're working from home great but when you're done working for the day still quarantined to the house can't go out to eat because no restaurants allow. Nian there and bars aren't letting in so sales start testing another show we had Friday was do I have the time or I wish I had the time and you do now you got it you got no excuse that involves another piece of the puzzle here. Is We talked about you? Know I was talking to somebody he's like. I'm working from work still because I don't want to be at home and guava he goes because everybody's at home and they wanna play and for me. It was spring break for US Anyway. So it wasn't anything new but The youngest is figured out how to beat on the door to get dad to turn around and smile and so he when he gets bored at every planning within the Living Room he finds dad in the office and then the other to want to come in and be helpers. They get tired of playing with the baby so they're hiding office with dad from the baby. How can you prevent that like? I don't have kids so I can't talk about that in my head and again this comes from somewhere with no kids and no experience in my head I just. Can you be more strict arcane you? I don't know what what can you do? There's a there's a parental guilt there in the in essence. Yes I could. Beat the crap of them for touching and even looking at me in the office but at the same time that's one of the luxuries of this type of career is adapted home and get to see him so there's a there's a double edge sword. Yeah there's Times where I wanted to sit in my lap and work with me and then there's times like hey guys. I just need you to leave me alone. And they do a really good job. My wife does a really good job. Deflecting them and keeping them away from me but there's times where she's busy doing something in the other word other room or she's busy cooking or cleaning or doing something in her own tuned. Sometimes she has to come in the office. Get ready for her classes the next day. So you know this gets to throw more on. This whole situation is throwing odd. Mix of circumstances on us that we're all having to work through and figure out you know we've had shows that we talked about keeping it simple being to the basics you know. I think this is a time where you can use. You can use this extra time that you have at the house not with all the extra activities not being there traveling things like that and go through your business and clean up some stuff that just kinda got shoveled shoved off to the corner think is a great time for that I I told you earlier. I went through and pay taxes for every piece of property for the rest of the year. So I knew what kind of cash reserves I had as payments come in. And you still have it with acquisitions still going and you know everything unless it's unless it's name county road with clean access good title homerun values imposing on buying those anytime. I've taken a risk on anything a moving forward on everything else though so good plan. Yeah I wish I wish it was. I could tell people more because everybody's business but different so there's GonNa be a little tweaks that everybody needs to do. A great part about this episode. Is that the point. May Be to open up people's minds by asking the questions or have you even thought about this. Have you thought about that? You know it's yeah. We don't have to provide solid answers because we don't know how everyone's running their business. Yeah you're exactly right and that's that's the hard part for me is tweaking it and just to have the conversations where you can start thinking about things you can. Do you know for for us. I don't like my mind is do. I plan for three months six months a year of nothing happening in. What does that look like? And you know with the different. Do we take advantages of the different specials? That are out there. I've been joking with Adam all morning about going and buying a new truck because it's zero percentages for eighty four months and it's free money you know the that's the money go work elsewhere and I have zero percent and get a brand new truck out of the deal. And he's he's not liking my idea going by truck but you know it's a it's a thought and it's one of those things it's real you. Have you have some resources out there? It's okay to use those. It's okay to plan for longer than you need because if everything goes back to normal two weeks it's back to normal you know. Make sure you're you're not buying something that's risky. Don't put any emotion into it if you have to tell a client. Hey I need to hold off because of this is really got. My partners messed up. You know blame it on a partner. Blame it on the economy. Blame IT ON. Whatever you're interested still but you need to give it two weeks three weeks pause to look and see what your business is GonNa do. There's nothing wrong with that. No I don't think so either. I think we asked a lot of questions. Play opened up some minds. Get ANYTHING ELSE. You want to know all right now. I think that's good then. I think we've said enough and we hope you put some thought into it. We hope you're businesses are doing really well. We'RE GOING TO BE OUT HERE. Still going through it everyday with you and so if you've got questions problems whatever reach out to facebook. Itunes GO TO YOUTUBE GIVES LIKE FOLLOW. Then go to itunes and stitcher or wherever else listening to us like reviewing subscribe to show appreciate. We love you. See you Wednesday thanks guys.
1784: Getting Through The Learning Curve by Kate Galliett of The Unbreakable Body on Potential & Aptitude
"This is optimal living daily episodes seventeen eighty four getting through the learning curve cake Elliott of the unbreakable body dot com, and I'm just a Malik this podcast where I act as a personal narrator for you for free usually from blogs sometimes were books but in either case was with permission from the authors another author today that's regularly featured on my brother show optimal healthily definitely subscribe to that one if you like today's post. But for now, let's get right to it as we optimize your life. Getting through the learning her by cake. Elliott of the unbreakable body DOT com. If you're going to gain any skill or ability. You'll go through a learning curve how much you feel that learning curve is dependent on two things you want to know what these two things are. So can work learning curve in your favor in the future. But I what's the learning curve? Here's the wikki quote. A learning curve is a graphical representation of how an increase in learning measured on the vertical axis comes from greater experienced the horizontal access or how the more someone or something performs a task, the better they get at it and quote. In. Slang often say that something difficult to learn has a steep learning curve with the implication that steep things hills feel difficult. But if you take a look at a steep curve on a graph and indicates, you're learning a lot in a short amount of time, which may or may not be difficult. Learning curve could be steep, shallow short or long, but only one thing really matters. How much do you feel the curve when you feel the curve, you know it you feel your deficiency in this skill or ability. When you feel the curve, you're more likely to become frustrated and you're more likely to quit before you get through the curve. To things influence how much you feel learning curve and if you use them to your advantage, you're going to navigate the curve better his worst understanding these two things because what other option do you have quitting? How much you feel learning curve is influenced by. Aptitude. Aptitude is your natural ability or skill you were born with it. If a learning curve is for a skill that is within your aptitude mule, likely only feel the learning curve minimally if at all his good capitalize on your natural aptitudes by learning skills at naturally fit with them. But if you only ever do things where you don't feel the learning curve, it's likely not expanding your abilities much aptitude is great but aptitude alone won't get you very far. We've all heard a story somewhere along the way where kid has a natural aptitude for sports or school, but doesn't put the work into better themselves, and then what happens all the other kids who weren't as naturally talented at that thing but who worked their tails off caught up in surpassed the natural talent in the end? You do not have aptitude for everything, and if you'd like to write yourself off because you don't have aptitude for something that's fine. You're overlooking something major you have aptitude for something and you can exploit that aptitude to get you through the learning curve of something else for which you have less aptitude. An example if your aptitude for public speaking is low, you get nerves. You've easily forget what you wanted to say big aptitude for things like mental imagery is high, you can easily picture things in detail in your mind you can exploit that to help you improve as a public speaker. There's a well known technique for doing just this rather than banging your head against the wall trying to become someone who's naturally talented at flowing through speech, you do this. Memory Palace. With this mental imagery technique, you imagine your own home or a similar place. You know well assigned key points or phrases in your speech to each place in your home who give your speech by walking through your house in your mind's eye and allowing your mental image of the Living Room. For example, to remind you of the key point you assigned to that room and the subsequent details that will come from that key point. By doing this, you put your aptitude in one arena to us to help you improve in another arena. Now. This sort of exploitation of aptitude will certainly make it feel more doable to get through a difficult feeling learning curve. But the second thing that determines how much you feel learning curve will be what gets us through or what becomes your undoing. How you interact with uncertainty Quote, pain, and pleasure govern us in all we do and always say in all, we think end quote. That line is from eighteenth, polymath Jeremy Bentham and outlines exactly what motivates we do in life, but which motivates you more avoiding pain or acquiring pleasure. Loss Aversion the tendency to prefer avoiding losses to acquiring equivalent gains has been well established. Most humans have some degree of loss aversion that influences how they act but there's a sizable degree of nuance within the realm of being motivated to avoid losses or acquire pleasure a two thousand seven study led by Russell a Paul drag professor of psychology at Stanford University found the following quote. We. Also found that individuals display varying degrees of sensitivity to loss aversion and these wide ranging neural responses predicted differences in their behavior for instance, people with stronger neural sensitivity to both losses in gains were more risk averse and quote. That is if your brain is more sensitive to losing and gaining, you're less likely to want to take a risk. Learning some new skill includes a degree of risk taking. There's no guarantee you're actually going to get or avoid the thing you are trying to get her avoid by learning the skill. You don't know yet. If it was well worth your time more a waste of time you aren't sure if it will work or if you'll get it or if you'll fail. And there's a second layer of wants to your loss aversion Dr draft shared a theory that losses may trigger greater activity in brain regions that process emotions such as the insulin amid Dula meaning if the parts of your brain where you process emotion namely the amid delays and the ensler become more active. When you experience a loss, you may be more likely to avoid putting yourself in a position where you could experience a loss. Interestingly, a middle damage has been shown to eliminate loss aversion with regard to money. This suggests that you're made Ila is a key player in how you handle loss aversion. Learning, a new skill requires a you accept the level of uncertainty. If you are someone who is less likely to bring uncertainty into your life by avoiding taking risks, you're more likely to feel the discomfort of learning curve does because learning curves include natural amplification of risk potential loss and uncertainty, which will trigger your brain in different ways than someone else's brain might be triggered. You can imagine how this could influence how a learning curve feels to. You not only is your brain dealing with the neural activity of the actual learning of this new skill. You're also dealing with really feeling the fear emotion or discomfort of being in risk-taking waters deeper than you prefer. and. So to navigate your next learning curve in a way that feels more doable and less like you should quit because it's just too much. It really comes down to understanding yourself better. Where do your natural aptitudes lie and how can you put them to work for you in arenas where you don't naturally excel? How do you interact with other entity? How much are you motivated by loss aversion? Learning new skills is awesome feeling like you suck ms not awesome. Take some time to learn about your own personal nuances in these realms and put what you've uncovered into your next learning curve. Then let me know what new skill you've acquired from doing so You just listen to the post titled getting through the learning curve by cake Elliott of the unbreakable body DOT com. A real quick thanks to anchor for hosting this podcast. Anger is the easiest way to make a podcast. They'll distribute your podcast for you. So it can be heard everywhere, spotify podcast, Google podcast and many more. You can easily make money from your podcast to with no minimum. listenership anchor gives you everything you need in one place for free, which you can use right from your phone or computer creation tools allow you to record and Eddie your podcast. So it sounds great download the anger APP, or go to anchor DOT FM to get started. I'll keep this ending shore for today. Have a great rest of your day, and I'll see you tomorrow for the Friday show where your optimal life awaits.
Universal Orlando Resort - We stay at all the resorts, even the Presidental Suite, to give you our top picks
"Joining me I've thought. Born and Steve Lisa. How you doing just ducky already back to Disney going through withdrawals I am but they got to stay longer than I did. I had to come home mom. Somebody has to do it and I'm really glad it wasn't me off things. Hey at least I'm honest shape support so we're going to talk about some of the good stuff Some of the not so good stuff. Well I don't think there was a whole lot of not so good stuff. No just a couple little things whether it wasn't the best but it was nice being cool. That was nice. Yeah so All right let's start with universal I think The best place to always start is talking about butter beer. I managed to to at least sample if not consume entirely Three different forms of butter beer on this trip I actually did two did you. Would you have I had? I tasted the hot butter beer and that I bought a cold one frozen one and then I had the butter beer ice cream which is a necessity All of them are good. I still like the frozen butter beer and the Ice Cream. The best okay. I don't think he can go wrong with any butter. What DID TRY You know what I did for the first time the AGREEM- doing good. It was really good. How did I miss? They were passing it around. Someone got it as if it was extra mistake or something but when we were at Leaky cauldron those accounts Yasser meal. It came with someone's meal they were passing it around Amber wanted me to take the mason jar home like no no Mason Jar. Yeah like with a little one. Yeah it's a small one in about this tall. Yeah and it probably has upper so the people that are listening. Maybe two inches tall. Yeah occur so it probably holds a cup but they don't fill it up all the way but it's got the the Class B thing and the little mason jar pancake a class B. One not a screw on so your GRANDPA can put hard candies in there or pennies pennies so It was good. They have Is it's like there's the cream part and then there's the butter beer part and you could mix it all up like yogurt you know. That's kind of what it reminded me of. It was the texture of thick. It was thick really. We'll like yogurt. Was the Little Desert Cup thing. Oh you try it. I don't remember wasn't I good for you? Then if you remember it was good amber loved it. I saw it come by but I don't feel I feel like I might not have tried it. Okay yeah they were passing it around But I did that. I did a hot butter of course and I had some butter beer. Soft serve ice cream so you guys went to Universal Orlando resort to. Where'd you stay at Universal? As well and one of the hotels we did. I was in Portofino. Lauren was where have you know? List of level club level is our fancy fancy in club level. We had some people F- Oh I'm sure you have. I know you have Disney. Why not you have at Disney to Disney because of the yacht club. Yep that's what I was thinking. Travel Yacht Club Club level. That was good so you went to club. Level does the super fancy one. Yeah it's their most expensive or their most luxurious. Yeah so that's going to be your high high end. I tell people I enjoy that walking path or the boost to the thing. Yes we did not get to see the refurbished rooms. But that hotel is undergoing refurbishments right now so I'm excited to see them when they they do because those rooms are huge but they need new soft goods Bathrooms are huge Romero's huge. But this could hear his. It'll be nice. Yes face shops. Yeah not a fan of those weird opening doors from the Jacuzzi into the now. Maybe they'll get rid of those. I don't like those either. Everything else probably goes with the theme of the resort but like the does pull. There is nice but I don't like that. Those little swing outdoors are there. Yeah it's weird for the Jacuzzi Tub in the one thing that I would recommend to. I guess lows Over at Portofino. Is They give you this bathroom? That is probably eight five fifteen. Would you say? Oh Yeah. The showers tiny the shower. That's where it is difficult Rollet space yet has all the space. It's frustrating because the shower head. No matter how you turn it will shoot out the door. Yep and it is tight. It is Titan there. It's not much bigger than a cruise ship shower It is odd with the bigger. And it's not much bigger now. The one thing I do have to say universal desert right. There towels are super soft. That's so funny because I thought you were going to say something else and I will say it the betting. Oh they're betting heaven. Oh my gosh and it was remember the last time I stayed there with you. You actually asked where they got the pillow I did. I think we've been announced it on Mousetrap Yep And another thing is I did one night at Cabana Bay. And that was great. Those kind of like their value resort. I would always to this value. Plus it's a prime value. It's going to tell you prime nice pool Jacuzzi Lazy River. It has so many amenities and the price. Point is pretty cool in the pool and there's a lot offered Cabana Bay is a bowling alley. There's a store. But it's like a nineteen sixties fifties. Yeah it's got the cool well and got super cool access to Kaneohe Bay water. We should talk about that too but What I was getting at. What was I getting? Oh I spent a night there and then I moved to Portofino and is a big difference in linens the bed linens and the pillows between Cabana Bay and though and Portofino Sinoe those it was. Oh my gosh well. You woke ski resort. So yeah I slept really good at Portofino. It was great when I slapped. I didn't sleep much but when I slept I slept very well. Well I can explain why you didn't sleep a little bit. Why was that because someone arked me into getting the presidential suite that someone was not me? I would like it wasn't it wasn't you didn't know about it It was something I did last minute at check in and we arranged it. I know we had a lot of queen clubrooms. We had five or six of them. And I know that. The Presidential Suite connects to three additional queen clubrooms so that would be four connecting rooms and so I told him you know. Lauren goes next to me requirement. Naturally yes and then happen. Yeah and I said put everyone else wherever you want and And then I moved into the the presidential suite and I have seen at other resorts hospitality suites and we've seen sweets but I don't think I've ever seen anything like this. It was huge and I have to say I was most intrigued by the way you did. Check it out so you can report back and I can't believe training people to try it out so let me tell you real quick before we get into the day. Let me tell you that was fine. Just hold on a second though you walk in and there's this this boyer that is probably ten by ten foyer. It's better than my home. That's for sure. Yeah and then. There's a bathroom off to the right. There's a big closet. There is like A writing desk over here is like this little alcove and then you walk into the living room area. That has a couple of couches. A giant Ottoman Two people could sleep on it A fireplace Balconies access to balconies. And then to the right. You have a dining table that would accommodate ten people. You have a bureau. Which is you? Don't do anything with that. But then there's a kitchenette or more like a Butler's Pantry and Butler's Pantry full-sized Fridge stocked. With sodas waters and Then pellegrin which amber discovered and that's natural spring sparkling Ark Ling mineral water. I don't she knows how to say but she was intrigued with this Sparkling Water Coffeemaker with the K. Cups and then So that was off to the right. And then if you travel back to the living rooms left You're going to have on one side of the hall an office a big office with a desk and a TV and two chairs and it was. It was huge. It was like what you'd see in some luxurious apartment and then across from that was a large patio with a couple of Cheese and tables and more chairs but this is all overlooking the Piazza which is kind of one of the focal points at Portofino and the water. Just everything it was like. This is where they take all their pictures definitely and and then after that you keep going to the left and you hit the bedroom. The bedroom is probably Lauren. You GotTa help me out with the size. I would say it's at least twenty feet long and at least it might be twenty feet wide by maybe thirty feet long. I would say that might be right. It was huge. It was huge. There was a sitting area. There was a king dead. There was one of those we have. Patrick Shays ouch things But then you go into the bathroom. The bathroom was bigger than my bedroom. Yeah yeah the bathroom at you walked in and if you go straight ahead it was like one of those bathrooms that you see in a fancy hotel and it had like vanity surrounded by mirrors and stuff. But if you go to the left you're GonNa have the toilet room that had a toilet Annaba Day. Lorne can tell you more about that Nasek but then around the corner. There's this huge walk-in closet had to be eight by eight at least So they had that. But then when you walk in and you go to the right you're going to have this huge Jacuzzi Tub. We could have put easily eight people in their think. Oh I think you people tried to do that Double Vanity Sink. Lots of floorspace. There was a linen closet with towels and some extra Things in there and then the shower add to rain orest heads. Those rain drippy faucets. There were two of those they had Two controls and then there was another control that controlled the jets. That were coming out of the wall. There were six or eight jets There was a bench in there and then they had a basket of toiletries. So you had you or shampoos or can be just as basket was pretty cool It was amazing. It was an amber took a shower and she came out and she said that is the best experience. I've ever had and she's like I need to take another shower. It was pretty cool It was it was absolutely gorgeous and in the aunt. Well it's interesting because there is one bad. There's a king bed for all this space if you had to equate it to Standard like your room. How many of those would fit side by side? You'd have one for the kitchen. You'd probably for the Living Room. Have three because there's the area between the dining room and the living room. Oh you could probably fit four or five of the standard rooms. Oh the whole room. Well like Your Room. You Know How y. Yeah so look at your ride. You could probably fit three or four in the living room living room dining room area. Okay I would agree without and then you have another one where the Patty I would say. It's one to maybe seven or eight total. Yeah I would as far as the width crazy. I was not expecting that at all now. I was expecting hospitality suite where it was just a gathering area did not expect this bedroom mazing. Yeah but if you can connect to some other people and use the the area as a meeting place. It's actually not a terrible value. Now definitely not. Yeah it's pretty cool. Yeah And you do. You WanNa go into the BA- day not literally go into it works but I was just intrigued that there was a day in there. I thought you tried it. Now get out of here all right. I know totally intrigued by it. I just really wanted to. I was like I wanna I wanNA play with the buttons but I controlled myself I love the convenience of Where our room was versus the hotel lobby so essentially when we came in from the boat on the ground level. Not going up the lobby but you would take that elevator. That is just to the right of the stairs. It would go up to the sixth floor and we were right there down the hall. It was perfect. Yeah so we didn't have to trek all over the place so that was definitely nice. Yeah because that hotel is big. Sometimes you wind up pretty deep into it. Yeah all right. Let's see what else It butter beer. So did you go to any other resorts to room. Tours did you. Did you know what I want to talk about? I just WanNa cut to the chase and get over to surf side Surf side in sweets. Or did you see those? Oh my gosh endless summer. They're beautiful and I don't I would stay there in a heart beat so these are rooms and it's your new talk. I've been Dow gas. No I talked. I'll say so. I'm not easily impressed with things as we all know Surf side in and dockside is basically going to be the Tan coloring version so surf side and dockside dockside opening in March dockside. Coloring is going to be different but essentially they're going to be the same hotel just different coloring mirror images of each other. I think one has more rooms than the other and Lisa probably knows the answer to that. Yeah you'RE GONNA have moreover at dockside dockside serve side is I believe. Complete hundred percent complete Yeah oxide is still under construction. And they're gonNA have just standard rooms and they'RE GONNA. They'RE GONNA be under construction for well. Part of it is going to Is available for booking but not all of it yet. So surf side in is universal's answer to why are you booking at best western in my opinion and tell me if. I'm wrong but it is oh God I don't know ten times better than that do Greeley's like I just thought it was clean. It was really pretty. The beds look like they were comfortable Starbucks in the lobby can't go wrong with that right Lobby was huge. The Pool was really nice. Like to me it. It had more of a resort feel on a value price nice express pass included and it is across the street so you are bussing to all the parks. Yes where if you know Disney era universal area International drive. It's where wet and wild used to be. They bought wet and wild and they tore so yet the bus. But is it. All is it Family sweetser single rooms okay. Cool and false and we saw a regular room at sweet the one downside I would say to. The sweet is a lot of places for people to sleep but not a lot of places for storage. Well you could store under the beds as far as luggage right. But you're living at your suitcase. If you're there for a week minimum to pull your suitcase out those no draw. Cy didn't look at that. I'm going to have to look back at pictures. I looked specifically looked. 'cause I like to unpack. I'm Ann Packer so I always look for draw space and there was no real draw space space in the sweets. So that was. That's the only damn place is gorgeous was I was. I guess you can probably look past the fact that there's no like you know you can hang close up. There was like a closet thing but no oh and one bathroom the basic kind of price point that start at one. Thirty five yeah. It's really reasonable. It's incredibly irregular. No for the sweets. The sweets one thirty five. And that's three queen beds so if you're a family of five or six. This is such a no brainer And I'm thinking this is great for training because you can put three in a room comfortably with your own queen bed. Yeah I I love it. Love it love. It can't say it enough. I'm going to create a Hashtag so the I think they did like Super Super Super Amazing job on it and I think it's a great response to are you booking anywhere but here and it's not far it's me. Driving Industry is with us over the bridge. It goes over a bridge over I four. And then you're over there by Cabana Bay and Safire falls and you you bus over to the park so I don't know what maybe ten minute drive. Probably with traffic. Even with traffic you'd be looking at maybe eight I'm impressed with how close it actually is. I'm impressed with how well it's new. So of course it's clean The lobby fantastic. It's so much space. Who will has a resort feel? Oh end didn't they have okay. I'm I'm don't WANNA put my foot in my mouth but didn't they have A small gym. Yes they did. Okay and the accented all of us going Oh my God. There's a small gym here and it's not a small gym. It's I I think. Three or four treadmills to ellipticals three bikes Free weights weight machines. This was not tiny. It was impressive. Oh yeah because you go to A. I don't know just any other standard. Kinda not hotel and it's like a room that they've put a couple pieces of equipment. Yeah so it sounds a lot nicer it was. Oh my gosh. Let's go. Then that's the the entry point for Universal Studios. Did you guys go to Let's see the Pacific Royal Pacific. We did where at least. That's no one's always looks pretty. He stayed there so yeah when we went to conference years ago. Row Pacific for Sapphire. Oh No I don't remember the row Pacific. Maybe I like Roy Pacific New York. I don't think I went you. Were Oh my gosh. Was the universe. The cut the travel leaders conference. They didn't go to maybe a certain standard. All right it's fine with me. Lisa went okay. I've been in there and I love you both so much. It's hard to tell you apart. Never stated Pacific. So what you guys like. You like the rooms at World Pacific. Yeah they're beautiful. I keep saying Yelich a surfer dude. Yeah Yeah So. Royal Pacific actually underwent major renovations. They redid the rooms and they redid the lobby I think that what they re did they did. They put a quick service location in to the lobby over where the ticket area used to be us. Normies your tickets such that all out. They did all new colors. Like what what would you call it like a baby blue lease with a little Purple Lobby Gordon so warm Purple Gray because it was dark before the dark wood can of Hawaiian the five Lang. Also they redid the you know. The Sushi restaurant was in the bar area and the bar area used to be their breakfast area in the morning. Grab and go so they redid that whole area and now there's like a sitting area with a big huge screen. Tv The bars in the middle of the room with the dining around it such a great use of space. I'm in love with that. We had a ton of space their favorite hotel before. And I think it's it's solidified from and that's your entry level hotel that comes with express pass rate at sheer premier or legacy. I call legacy. Yeah so if you WANNA guess yeah that's Nice you get you get your express pass for free with the room. If you book at Royal Pacific Art Rock or a Portofino. That's the kind of the least expensive of the theory. Let's get a hotel of nursed either. Lisa Room. Refurbishments are beautiful. They did a beautiful job on those rooms slice. It just did a complete update in there. It looks gorgeous. And that's good for you. What the pool is like there? But I'm sure it's nice. Then they will Luau there. The Nice restaurants We did We went over to Avin. Chara to which I hadn't seen yet and that's another great hotel. That's kind of same price point as put. I think it's between Cabana Cabanas. Afire standards of a little more than Cabana Bay. Maybe but that rooftop lounge that they have is phenomenal. All I stayed there like two or three times. I'd never gotten up there. I finally got up there. It is really cool. That's cool so you don't have to stay there to go to the rooftop lounge. She should go and hang out there. Here it's a good place to go at night and they have great rooms to. I thought that hotel is really nice. I I agree. I think it's a great place and of course it's clean it's modern. It has everything that you need but to me. It is still cold. Because it's a nut carpeted if you're a young couple or millennial age or you really like modern clean it's for you if you But those were likes cozy. It's like very sleek minimalistic Gary Minimalist. Very many great in the room to you know other scam. Everything is on an IPAD. That's in your room to turn the lights on twitter and the music on the turn the air conditioning. The TV is all on this IPAD So you know to order things to get your bill everything's controlled and then the some of the rooms have amazing views of Kaneohe Bay 'cause they have like Florida if you're afraid of heights and you have the blinds open and some of those firms because it's like the cement floor and the glass touch and then they go all the way up so and then one of our rooms and we were there yet. A like the bedroom was kind of off to the side and you had to like scoot around this corner. So you're like right there by the edge of the glass looking down L. Yeah I remember the pictures you guys posted from saying. There was one room where we had a little room off to. The Room was off to the side. I guess it was the two bedrooms like three little sections. There was this little. Tv Room and then there was a Romo you'll wear TV room tonight TV room. And then a room for the girls to twins. And then a Weiner King Yeah lovely and it was kind of an odd shape. Yeah flows with that. The the shape has a fidget spinner. The hotel shape like fidget spinner. If you look at it from the top so the so you know. So that's how those bigger rooms are shaped curve. So here's something that they don't always tell you when you check in because it's like a fidget spinner. You don't know which elevator you're GONNA get on and they have six and so you don't know which one's going to go up when you call it and then when you get up you're like wait a minute usually. I'm like I. I'm across the hall from the Elevator or the first time I did this. I just took a right and so it's confusing when you get off the elevator which way to go and they made it really easy each of the three hallways that come off of. I'm like them. Center of the spin. The FIDGET SPINNER. They are color coordinated. And so they have like a pink and green and blue and by your room number by your actual room. You can see the color so if you're in room sixty two oh three. There's going to be. Let's say there's there's the lettering or the numbering in pink so you know you're in the pink hallway while when you get off the elevator. The fidget spinners It shows which is the pink hallway. Which is the green. And it's so genius. Oh Lord I don't think you were here for this part but I got separated from the group Or a little bit Probably different time at that happened a lot. Not GonNa lie there so I got separated and I thought you guys. We're up on floor ten and I went up there and I was trying to get in touch with people but I couldn't 'cause they're paying attention apparently and You know relay knows relay the robot. Yeah he was up there and he was delivering like more shampoo to someone and so he goes up to the door and he like headbutts at her body butts. Tanakh GOES BANK LONG. Bonk and then he just travels on his own and then normally you can talk to right or you know. Interact with him and he says on his little display. I'm heading to the lobby and it was so fascinating. I'm hanging out in the elevator lobby trying to get back with my group and I'm hanging out with relay and he won't talk to me 'cause he's on a mission and he waits and an elevator opens and he goes into the elevator he turns around and he waits and he went down to the lobby. It was it was pretty cool. So if you're at Avon Shera be sure to need more shampoo. You can take Sophie's with them but just ask for more shampooed lobbies anytime right right. Sometimes he gives ca. Oh Candy Yeah. He has candy. We'll give you candy. Sometimes Little Minster Hershey kisses or something. Yeah something yeah. It's a cool. It's a it's a gimmick and it's got a UH starbucks in the lobby it's got a nice gotta shop very healthy food court with healthy options. I had contenders and amber had a burger Yet real healthy and they have the salad bar that you could. We had ten minutes. We didn't have much time at all and They have all this fresh food. It was pretty cool on another thing. That's cool about this. One is during Halloween horror nights because the hours are so late and you can be out to like two or three in the morning. You know doing whatever you're doing They have during those super late park hours like a portable snack bar. That is manned and you can get chips. Or Sodas Drinks candy bars. Just grab and go type stuff. But they have that in the lobby because everything is closed but they're accommodating the people that you know enjoyed whore nights. I think that's incredible. Yeah the Duga. Je there Yeah I just they do such a good job at so many things Oh I did see blue man group again show. Yes guys who who went there. Were seventeen of us that when we go And it was a great time some of the people I was with. Were just totally into it and others like I don't get it but it was a lot of fun high energy of course and I swear I think I've seen it so many times I could perform. I was GonNa say I could fill in if they need me to slow thing. Well Yeah you. We're Kinda spoiled because we get to see it a lot So after the first one or two times I've gotta be on like five or six it can. It can lead because I've seen it three times. Wow do we take the kids? Yeah okay I thought we took the kids. Yeah I kiss grieve for kids. Ark is located. But Yeah it's a fun show. It's just We've been so many times that it loses a little bit of his magic as I've been lucky enough to see it so many times but a very great show though I definitely certainly good for families definitely good for kids. It's a lot of fun and they've changed it up a little. I enjoy it a seesaw. Blue Man group than anything else on hotels hard rock hotel. We did Tour hardrock we did not we did have a meaner. Oh you stayed the you had a meeting at what yeah? We had our conference there But Lawrence was the nicest conference room. It had windows' scandal ever do a conference where you actually sit in a room with windows. It was Nice Nice. Artwork is a nice very nice pool. Nice Hotel can't beat the location or regret your perfect location. What is it a five minute? Walk to the park very cool. Very cool theme. They've got a nice. It got great food at one of my favorite. I like the kitchen. I do like the kitchen and the idea behind this is is kind of like. You're at some rockstars mansion. And so they they think things around the house type amenities like Yeah Gen. We were in the Pantry. Y- we're in the Pantry You go to the kitchen. It's ankle law. So if you have anybody that's looking to have a conference somewhere. That was probably the best conference food I've ever had. That was very good conference. Food breakfast and lunch were delicious and it was basic and I think that's what made it better is that it wasn't a scrambled eggs with scallions. This is my fancy it wasn't you know. Western Omelette at lunch was amazing. Lunch was a Mexican and it was kind of a make your own Mexican bar. Oh my God it was good. It was good with the cheese and the NACHOS and as good Owen. They had sure os or dessert. Oh yes I was pretty sure Lisa had something to do with that. She said No. But I don't know if I didn't I'd had nothing to do with the menu at all I promise you. Yeah that was Okay SO HOTELS ORDER FINA. We talked about Catwalk in around. Because I could see the whole Piazza and there was. There are cats. Walk around in the middle of the night. No you we covered. Everything's of fire falls. I think Sapphire we did a tour of that as well It's a great location. And it's you can't complain. The lobby is phenomenal. Pools Express Pass. Are Those yet that hotel. Yeah that's the thing that hotels amazing in it had expressed pass but it's lower price point so it doesn't like if you're not looking for express pass that is my peck. Yes I love. It has the boat transportation. Great Location Amazing Swimming Pool in the pond. Great simple that the rooms are nice and lobbies beautiful. Nice little grabbing go. They got the the restaurant or bar. There were they have the hand cut ice cubes and specialty drinks and a nice patio out there overlooking the water. The really nice. That's a nice out. It's got a Caribbean Yeah a Caribbean theme can a Vibe to it with the old plantation Cheryl's that every Every of the resorts premium resorts Were they call it a feature staircase? This is my favorite staircase. It's very unique. I'm not great with the the categories so I think a couple of categories have the staircase but anyway. It's one of my favorite staircases. It's awesome let it looks like something out of a Harry Potter Movie GonNa. Does everyone thought it was very Harry Potter Ish? Gigantic hotter which slated this more than the staircases massive multi. It's unbelievable it's a great photo op. Every time I go there I'm totally. How many different ways going to say this very difficult? I know because there's so so much to see it just doesn't do it justice when you take photos there's so much going on yes cool so then oh. I have more thing I wanted to talk about and not hotels but did you do. City Walk Parks. Well we did do parks. I didn't do a lot of parks but I did get to him and I got to do Hagrid again aggregate magical creatures motorbike adventure and know the best fried in a theme park right now. It's amazing and so what we did is we. Were watching it. They they were filming some kind of Promo. They add filming on that location so we were kind of waiting for it to open. It didn't open docking. We were stocking sheer tag teaming. It okay let us know when it opens. Text me But it probably opened around one. You think yeah we read. Launch Yeah and soda opened and we got over there and of course the line's going to be long and we got online and it is what it is. We put our stuff in the lockers because you have to use the lockers and not in line. And within a couple of yeah. They opened up because they had closed the single rider line because it was getting too long they opened it up and we said can we go over there as we're still at the beginning. We were at the entrance and they said yeah come over so we went in and we were forty minutes forty minutes during a riot. Yeah on and off But the single rider line is not a bad way to go. If you don't mind splitting up you will not ride with your party. You might be on the same train or motorcade. I guess 'cause it spikes but there was a family in front of US mom dad and a young girl and so they just sandwiched. Her mom went first. Then the girl that you know she had the girl had someone. While she was weightings. I was so nervous about that. It was a good plan though I know but I just I don't know I couldn't do it. She was little. Yeah but it was funny because the conversation was all about Like in line. We were talking with them a little bit. They were talking about stranger. Danger and not You know what to do with strangers and not talk to them and if you someone comes up to solve this self protection stuff. It was pretty cool but she. She was a competent young lady. Old Older to be your hotel you know. She was like sevent- how she was like nine. Oh she looked little to me. She was little but if you talk to her you could tell that. She was older odor. Who's just tiny and she took karate. She was ready to kick anyone's but well the funny part was is when they when the parents did that and I think mom went first and then dad state. No Dad went. I mom stayed back with little girl. And then they sent the little girl. The girl that was sending the universal worker the number that was sending them out. You could tell like. She kept watching the little girl like she was trying to find a way to get the next person on right away like you could tell. She was like watching it and she. She did not like the that split because I was watching her you. I think you had already gone. Know 'cause you're right after them. I was right after them. And then they turn trump child swap yet. Because you straight through. Yeah 'cause I didn't go through that line. They took me with a child swap and I was on the same cars. A little girl is awesome. It really is. I need to do that right at night. I was just GonNa say that. It's so good at night. I love to do that. It's good it's good any time of day honestly. You can't go wrong okay. So I'm just going to push things along because we get sidetracked it here and there So we talked about universal. Then we went over to Disney I got to spend a day part of a day really and But you stayed longer. What were some of your highlights. So the first thing. Let's talk about Riviera. Resort DISNEYWORLD RIVIERA RESORT. Those are new resorts. Okay that resort is fabulous. I think it might be my new favorite. It is gorgeous. The staff is amazing the entire property. I cannot say enough good things about the Riviera resort lake legit. There's the rooms are beautiful. Plenty of storage. The bathroom is gorgeous. love the layout for the Deluxe Studio. So you have a queen bed and then you have a pull down like the INOVA beds and when the bed pushes up it becomes a couch and a table and you have a little table in the room and then you have the queen bad. Tv Chester draws all that stuff. And then the. It's got like a hallway with a little kitchen at the bathroom is a split bathroom with a shower on one side with the toilet and a sink and a bathtub with a shower on the other side. Those noise it's amazing The smell of the resort. I love the food was fantastic. The food core has a mobile order. Option sow if you don't want to go down and wait in line you can order your food and just run down and pick it up to which I love But they have like in the lobby. They have a little Cafe I guess. In the morning it's coffee and pastries and stuff like that. And they had this amazing chocolate chip banana bread. That was to die for for breakfast. And then in the evening it turns into a wine bar so in the evening all the coffee stuff goes away. The wine glasses come out all the winds come out and it becomes a wine bar at night. Great use of space loved it. Beautiful Pool comfortable beds. I can't say enough good things about it. I didn't get to see one of the villas but The studios were plenty. Big enough ended also has pulled down twin bed so it sleeps five comfortably big room. Then you've got the skyline. Does he's Leonard to get to the parks. If you want Arthur yeah I use this guideline or the whole time. I was there because I spent more time at Hollywood studios epcot than anywhere else. I didn't make it to animal kingdom on this trip and I only made it over to magic one day coming from the lady who said she would not write it. I know so. There was a moment where I almost said I would never go on it again. But so the sky liner when it runs easily. And I've Kinda figured out when not to ride it now but like during the day if you're not going during peak times like park closing The skyline of runs very smoothly. Unless you have bad weather which we did we had high winds one of the day so they did shut the skyline or down and we wound up having to walk back. But we were. We just walked Caribbean beach. It was like ten minutes. It wasn't a big deal so but the sky liner when it's running is the fastest mode of transportation to get to Epcot in Hollywood studios. It's so fast like really quick Real easy to navigate so where I I've discovered that I will advise people moving forward. Don't ride the Gondola or the skyline are at the end of the night. If if you're a park closing time because every time we went to do that either the line was really really long or be once you got on the sky liner because the line does move fast but because there's a lot of stopping for like wheelchairs and things like that which is great. That's fine but we would go for like a minute and then we'd stop for five figure the the pull them off the line and loose nut so too but that's the only thing we could think of because literally it took for ever and at one point we were stopped for about ten minutes and I. That was the moment where I was like. I don't WanNa do this kind of letter anywhere but it is such a great and I will ride it again. It's really not like I wasn't scared. I wasn't worried but at the end of the night I think that's when you have your most congestion and a lot going on and they jam everybody and like most of the time during the day we were in one by ourselves. We they arrive with anybody us through. What eight ten awhile. But ten in there and it's like a should be constantly moving so hopefully you're that that I think it's just congestion I don't I don't know what it was but both nights that we took it back. It was like that so I was like maybe not right at park closing so like we actually that the other night we actually wound up going over To Beach Club and taken over. 'cause again not doing that. So but yeah so that was good and then the other things so we did TOPA. Leno's we did a big group of us. Twelve of US did Topa Lena character breakfast which I had already done. I'm happy to report that at six weeks later. It's still the best character meal on property. It's fabulous characters are amazing. The food is amazing. Everybody needs to go to Topol enough for breakfast. It is the best experience Do the dinner. Are you GonNa take me? Yeah we can do it especially since you're saying there I DID DO TOPA. Lena's for dinner and it's signature dining table services. I did not love it. wind was great appetizers. Great we did not do dessert I ordered the fillet I didn't enjoy the fillet My husband likes what he ordered he had. He enjoyed his meal but mine. I didn't enjoy and it's really hard for me. Not to enjoy stakes. It's very rare. I don't enjoy a steak but it was not good. We're your husband. He had some fish dish on what he had. Let me say. If I pull the MENU I can look it up. So the top of the resort there. Yep should get nice views beautiful views and we actually stayed so. Here's the other thing if you're looking to stay there And Dine Narrative. You the fireworks. It's not the best here. The fireworks is it's kind of. It's far as far away from all those game. You just Kinda see little little things on on same with the Caribbean beach. I would think with the. Yeah the The LINGUINI Scampi Sham SCAMPI SHRIMP SCAMPI. And I had the filet Mignon sow and we also tried the got zero lounge up there too. Yeah it's small but there is. The place is beautiful They need to they need to get the filet Mignon thing under control now But everything else was good like. I said it was just the state that I didn't enjoy It was very very overcooked. Extremely overcooked actually so and so to have the F fifty four dollars. You should kind of know how to cook steak without burning it. And he didn't send it back now. I didn't send it back Well it's tough sometimes because you're there then it ruins eating and then you don't WanNa ideal but I don't know and then they got a I know. Yeah the other thing I didn't love about. I felt like the the breakfast was less rushed than the dinner. Which doesn't make any sense to me. I felt like the dinner was very very very rushed for a signature mail. It was less than an hour in and out the door. We didn't even have enough time to have a second glass of wine. That's rush for signature ninety so I think they need to slow their pace a little bit too. I'm sure it's still under new. You know they'll work out the kinks. I'm sure it'll be amazing. So but yeah so that was it so it was a little disappointed. I'm going to wait a little bit and I'm going to try it again so hopefully I'll have a different impression of it. It'll be good. Yeah Kyrie's out and then Lisa you and I did the art festival we did. That was one day I was there. Thus the international festival of the arts up costs or my favorite. I have never. I still have not been ever at. It's fun it makes it different with all the different booze and the different things on display would love to buy smart. There was some really nice. Disney are and. You're lucky that I didn't come home with stuff. Yeah yeah and they have like featured artists at different stands each day so you can actually go up and taught like painting something right there in front of you. You can actually go up and talk to them. It's super cool but never all the different stands right. Did you try anything lease? They've all the food. Yeah yeah they love their food booths. Remember seeing cute things. You're you know photos of things like a like a painter's Palette made out of chocolate with different things. Different colors of paid that you could paint on there that was edible or Alcott of white chocolate. Or there's always very me cutty innovative desserts and foods. I've got to say I'm not proud of my my food for the day So I did have a crepe for what that's worth in France not one of the the temporary booths but one of the old stamp the standard ones and it was good. I'm disappointed that they're premade and just heated up as I think they used to make them fresh. Didn't they with better? Maybe remember. Okay I think so Keep the kiosk that's always there. They did but it was still surprisingly good. It wasn't sometimes you look at those. Like oh they're probably not fresh but they probably made him earlier that day So I was impressed. It was still pretty good. And what else? Oh I I did. Get a pretzel. Well I know disappointing. I know and I did. Try to get everyone to stop at the The werther store and get something for you but let me worse candy none. That line was really long that day. It was And what else did I get? Oh one thing that I got to sample. I didn't actually get this Stephanie. Dot this and shared it it was at the funnel cake booth over by the America pavilion and it was a peanut butter and Jelly. Onnell cake and so. It had peanut butter ice cream. And then you know sandwiched in a funnel cake And then Raspberry Syrup really drizzled over it and plenty you know. It wasn't just skimpy. It was plenty of raspberry and it was good to it was it was good. Taste like P. B. J. and I liked it. The only thing with that is the size of the it was the size of an uncrossable. You would think that they would give you two big ones or at least close to the same normal size but it was definitely a lot smaller. It was good I I did notice that the prices have gone up. Get the same thing that used to be five. Ninety five is now like nine ninety five which is a big difference. I mean not that I didn't spend the money and by the stuff because I did was the temporary Fu booze yeah. They've gone up tremendously. Yeah not everything was ninety five but things that were used to be like five ninety five six ninety five or now closer to ten bucks so I tried a couple of things. I tried this spicy beef. I can't say Xintai I guess it is in China. That was delicious. It was like a beef. Wonton almost was really spicy. It was delicious What else did I try ahead? In France I had something in Canada to have my say. Oh I had. I had the Beef Wellington. That was good good. And you're making me hungry or did he dinner cream debris with the cream. Brie was good although I felt like that needed something dip in it like vegetables or something and then I tried the risotto Canada. That was good. I actually was there like three different days. 'cause I was like I want to cook our crow levels for this was like February rate. They weren't bad they were roussel. Pretty manageable yeah. The lines weren't too long. I s the night got on. You started to see it. Get a little bit more crowded but it wasn't bad. I find that the art festival is not as crowded yet as the other ones the other festivals. Yeah Yeah I think that you know. I think it's one of the best ones I love it like. I'm kind of over. Food and wine has so many interesting things going on and then flower gardens just beautiful so I don't know short slick a month short. They're going to expand this too much because they have to get into the climate gardens starts so and then we also did Disney on Broadway while we were there which I have never done ran. Yeah so they have. Every night they have or select nights they have It's like a thirty minute. Show Moses over the American pavilion at the American pavilion. Yep and it's a free show you don't have to pay anything for it if you're in the park and they have different. Broadway stars Singing Disney show tunes so we saw Adam Jacobs who is in and I actually saw him in a Latin on Broadway and Leigh Hunt. Who was in newsies? They were nominal. Mike crazy daughters asked me to do the Disney dining. Package for which. I don't think it's necessary unless there's the four of them that are there Certain ones are going to be more popular but the one we did. It wasn't really necessary. We could have just walked in and sat in the back but we did the dining package. Because I'm a sucker. My kids can talk me into anything and we were literally in the front row like we could have reached our handout and touched Adam. Jacobs you didn't. Did you know no girls might crazy children who are Broadway stalkers As soon as the show was over they went right up front and they somehow instinctively knew which one of the three exits those stars were going to come out of and waited for them to exit and got pictures and methods. That's cool so but they were phenomenal. If you guys get if anybody gets a chance to see it it's really really good. It's not long If you're going to the eight o'clock show specifically I can tell you unless it's if there's four people performing I would say that one will probably fill up quicker But we were with another family and they weekday. When we got online we started going in they got online and they got right in so but they were in the back more but it was really really good. They sang like you know. They sang some Aladdin songs. They sang some newsy songs they did. They did some high school. Musical covers. Lion King. It was phenomenal really good. Those are Nice. I like that. It's a great stage. Gr- great area nice seating covered or trees Scraped to take your kids to like a first to experience something like that for the first time without having to take him to a big concert hall and dealing with parking and all the craziness and you could experience a nice concert in a smaller venue hang on. Who's there during different things at the school What else so. Oh and I also saw the beauty and sing along. Oh yeah so it's in. It's in France and it's in the back where Where the movie wise thing questions and I think that's still goes on. I think the alternate at least. That's what I was chosen. Stool circular Rome thing. Yeah it's it's like a small theater of France Cedar it's in the back in the pavilion thought. Wasn't that a three sixty film. It's been so long as I've been in there don't remember. I have to be honest. I've never seen that film. No idea. Gosh it's been so long. I guess I need to see it again but I haven't seen the film and I remember what it was but anyways well I. I saw the B. B. Sing along three times. It was super cute. Is it funny? I like the funny. I was hoping it was going to be like the frozen with the little you were but and it's not live. It's it's a movie about fifteen minutes long and the audience can sing along. I'll movie it's kind of like a different spin on the tail of how Belle and beast fell in love. It's super cute. I highly recommend that you stand or sit. You said must've been so it's not a three sixty very cool. So basically they have that movie and then they have the other movie depending on when you go during the day I guess an EPA. It's weird because I looked for it it in the Times guy. That's not listed in the time skied. And it's not listed on the APP so I feel like you just gotta hit it almost to figure out okay. Shall we figure it out? It's super super cute. Yeah I like it. It's it's cute it's funny What else Oh. So here's the one thing you should know if you're going to epcot and you're coming in the back way coming from each club or walk Yacht Club or even off the Gondola. The crowds entering epcot in the back area now are completely different than they used to be. If you're used to coming into that nice quiet little area so just allow more time. Not Thinking you're just going to be able to walk right in like used to be able to because it's definitely a lot busier. My favorite an JIM now. I miss it already. It's nice to take the Gondola in. But you know. Oh guess what else I saw. I went to Cream was bigger now on my God. It's so it I can't believe all that space was hidden in there. They probably took arcade next door. Now maybe look to see what was missing the arcade. Next door was huge so they probably still kept the arcade but they probably have the size of the arcade as they make. Maybe yeah we'll be was timing as well as Nice as good. It's huge and they put a window an outside window where you can just walk up to get ice cream. Good good for them. They needed that. The the Beach Club resort that this is the first ice cream parlor that Kinda opened on the boardwalk in La. Now there's a Twin peaks or whatever it is to to peeks out sample hills somewhat ample hills. There's ample hills creamery you know something like that. And then there's the beaches and cream in there another and then there's a bakery makers over there to a Lotta WanNa ice-cream or treat options at night now but Stiches and cream was the original of it is good in his right by this amazing swimming pool. Beautiful said outside and inside order a kitchen sink. Yup Yup that's a Nice Tasman forever since had been in there too And then the last thing I did which was I've done the Tomorrowland Terrace Dessert Party at the Magic Kingdom and I've done the Dessert Party with the garden viewing. But I've never done the garden viewing with the after hours dessert party. And we did that this time and while the fireworks didn't go off because it was. I mean it was ridiculously Wendy. That day The view is great. It's the same spot you would sit in for the Dessert Party. And by the way did you guys know that. They added Alcoholic Beverages his party nearing price as a February first. They added Alcoholic Beverages. There's a couple of drinks specialty drinks in there now so anyway. So you do you you go in you go into the garden you check and you go into the garden they You Watch the fireworks. Go off and then after that you go right back up to where you would normally check in and you go into the Desert Party. It's an after desert party so we did the Desert Party afterwards and we relaxed and we laughed and we had a good time. And then when we're done with the desert party like an hour later. We went to exit the park. It was empty. We got amazing pictures on Main Street. We had so much fun. It was fantastic. New is always nice. I love if you don't have little little ones in either. You're not like wanting to get out of the park and take them to that. If you have older kids or just looking for something special to you I loved that after party. It was phenomenal so cool. Yeah that's a great review. He gets in the sounds like you guys had a really good. It was very busy. I mean of course Lawrence was busier. She stayed two extra days longer than I did or I was on Monday. Wow I had my kitties. Wow Nice To advantage of going to school and Lord I know I was like I was like Zipcar. Come over play with or anything. Is there anything else so I do? Have One thing that I did notice on this trip. Because we did do a lot of dining and Disney specifically with large groups of people and like we were twelve people minimum at least three different meals. And you know normally when you're big group like that services slow it takes forever to get the check at the end. Just because they're not used to the big groups Disney has the big group thing down most good. We did not die in at one restaurant where I felt like it took longer. Because we're a large group. At the end the checks it was seamless. It was so easy and so well done. I was so impressed yet. Because there's been a lot of times where you they just dreads in. The losers are not great or they just are understaffed. They not ready yet. It's the handle the big they. Don't yeah I agree. That's good every everybody we encountered was amazing. Most cool we had great service. Great Food like nothing was no nothing was bad. Everything was perfect. Galaxy's edge same crowd level. Same stuff over there yeah. Nothing's really changed over there We had a one hour time. I know it's it's ranging between one hour and two hours depending on how the ride is going that day But I wrote it twice this week. I wrote it once on Thursday and rose on Sunday a resistance yup details. You WanNa get into that park at least a half hour before harp up like you want to be in the game through security and the park at least a half hour before officially opens a Ford officially opens. And you should. You have an equal amount of chances to get it as everybody else can. Get Your pre-boarding group time okay. Cool early says his. Wrap your trip report. I think so right so we're GONNA go ahead and wrap it up right here. I'd like to think fifty vacations for sponsoring the podcast. If you enjoy listening to our shows you can just ask. Siri you search web in finding all kinds of your comments or questions for us you can send those to us at almonds at mousetrap dot net. Thanks so much for listening. Please join us again next time.
016: Choosing to Forgive | The Living Room
"Living-room podcast with Joanna Weaver Episode Sixteen so we all felt it I know you had tools for living room to grow a space of grace to become everything God wants us to be you're listening to the I been writing about the unaffordable heart of Jesus in how we need to cultivated in our lives in yet it starts here it starts with forgiveness you know I think sometimes even as Christians we struggled to forgive because we really don't trust God and that's that's where this whole topic has come from I believe that people have ruined our lives that their choices their actions have disqualified us from God's best we don't see how God could boy isn't that true that temptation to be offended is so tantalizing it almost feels irresistible as if it's impossible the boy there isn't there something within us that resists that I know I felt it in my own life I think sometimes we we don't Wanna forgive because we really we immediately have a fight reflex or maybe a flight reflect maybe we just freeze we don't know what to do with that person just did or said think other times we feel obligated to be offended to be angry you know somebody needs to make that person pay but instead it's us who's pain HAP- forgiveness I know I know just the word just the word makes some of us just kind of recoil because we're thinking Joanna you have no idea what that hurt is going to turn into resentment that resentment is going to turn into offended spirit in a hardened heart apple for us not to be offended in yet while we can be hurt what we do with that hurt really depends on our choice forgiveness sometimes feels like we're saying that what they did doesn't matter but that isn't the truth you guys listen what they did was wrong like a one man justice league complete with an outfit working advantage all evils all wrongs done to us and everyone we love but here's the reality because here's the deal forgiveness isn't a feeling it's a choice and if we do not we do not follow all of the commands scriptures to actually forgive them and that just doesn't work for us but you know what God takes forgiveness very seriously not just because it re also the person over to the only righteous judge that has got but I think also we struggle because in hand depression critical nece negatively judgmental nece an inability to have healthy relationships. You know here's the problem with picking gone through how could you ever asked me to forgive but you guys I'm not asking you God is God is with the world seems like everybody is lining up to hurt us so we build up walls that's what an unforgiving heart does but some of us we just kind of back off and we just shut down and we kind of just have a slow simmering anger others of us what we turned into but forgiveness is simply resigning our position as judge jury and executioner and we're giving not only the hurt but you should pray forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors in case we didn't realize how important it was he closes his teaching the next couple of solo episodes. I'm going to be talking about what do we do when life treats US unfair how do we handle offenses up an offense and offended heart is easily offended it infects other relationships secondly were not just mad with one person we're Mad Cuervo is scandal on and it can mean snare or stumbling block but the original word refers to the part of the trap that holds the Bait problem is it might protect us from people but also keeps us away from guy in case you wonder what God thinks about forgiveness will Jesus include I I understand how hard forgiveness can be I walked through some pretty hard times in my life some betrayals that Alexa our heart towards him what he's done for us but because I'm per guinness literally eats away at our sole physical issues redeem it but oh my goodness you guys got specializes in taking everything that the enemy meant for evil and working for good can really really destroy our lives the Jesus is offered as a way to be free of what people do to us and it's the that person over to God we're secretly afraid that he might do what he usually does and that is be merciful and like if that person actually repented he would oh you guys we know we need to forgive that's what God has called us to as Christians yes there's going to be injustice there's going to be unfairness some of my closest friendships a team of women who had faithfully served alongside of me in women's ministry but a little seed of discord surrounded by fall and people were going to be hurt but what we do with that hurt is going to determine our destiny that great will not forgive your sins who I know that's that is tough talk isn't it especially in the face of our hurt in luke seventeen one Jesus said it is impossible that no offenses should calm things are going to happen this fallen world on the Lord's prayer with I fourteen fifteen with these really pretty straightforward words for if you forgive men when they sin against you Jesus says your heavenly father will also forgive you but if you do not forgive him in there since your father so unfair in yet in the process of just bringing that hurt Jesus the Lord Begin to reveal some things in my soul that he I believe the enemy wanted to take me out he wanted to destroy not only me but my friends I write about one situation in my book having Mary Spirits my heart is getting cold and it's getting hard and I don't have the feeling of forgiveness but I know I need to so help me my friends as the Bible says whatsoever things are bound on earth are bound in heaven but I was finding myself how much better how much better are you guys to bring that hurt to Jesus because here's the thing forgiveness isn't a feeling it's a choice needed some of you have been betrayed some of you have been abandoned some of you have been slandered and that hurt if it's not dealt with so we never really get healed from the hurt of it but here's the deal please please please don't do it on your own so how do we do that how do we choose to forgive well. I call it hammering out forgiveness because it's a process you guys it is not a one we begin to love our opinions more than we'd loved each other and all of a sudden all of my closest relationships imploded and I was so hurt it edited in the Lord's Prayer in Matthew six nine through thirteen in first twelve he invites us to pray he gives us a pattern of prayer because you know what I really believe that as John Bibby your calls it it is the bait of Satan and his number one ploy to take us out as Christians Senate to heal yes what had happened was unfair it was not just but by holding onto unforgiveness I was not only binding Are GonNa be wrong really really really wrong some of you. I know who are listening you've had abuse in your past some of you have been violated here's the problem unforgiveness will go underground and it will turn into resentment in a root of bitterness that as Hebrews tells us will grow up it felt so betrayed that to be honest I didn't want forgive and that really scared me and so I had to get a loan with Jesus and I just had to say Lord I mean the person the specific wrong that was done to meet and how it made me feel because sometimes I think we don't get down to the really roots of it on the Holy Spirit is there to help you and so there for me I had to choose to forgive out loud I said Lord forgive this person I will release them from my judgment Lord I want to have a love for them again I don't want to look at them and think of all the things that have happened between but it really comes down to this how forgiven to you want to be because with the major you forgive you will be forgiven boy I tell you chose to forgive oh I'm just telling you you are going to have to push through some heavy duty resistance but remember you're not doing it alone chained my heart Lord and as I began to just as an act of my will release those people from my judgment God begin to give me event I think the first step is to take the situation to God and ask the Holy Spirit to help you to forgive I know during that time I was so hurt to that matter but listen in Hebrews twelve God says for I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more as many times as necessary oh my goodness hammering out forgiveness isn't a one time job I've had to do it over cause trouble in defile many so acknowledged the hurt a during my time I I had to actually just kind of right out letters name ready to have the conversation because here's the deal they may not follow your script and then you're going to get offended all over again I will not bring up that record of wrong I've given it to the Lord and then finally asked the Lord if this is something unique car and he wants to give us that same ability not to remember what has been done to us and then repeat this process allowing God to change from the inside out and talk about a time when just the enemy got in and caused divisions in and then their memory or or even their face will have safe passage through our mind we won't we won't pull up all of our records corey's to really process the hurt and that's number two listen acknowledge the hurt don't slap a band aid on it and say it didn't matter because the offense will lessen and eventually disappear you know I can think about that time that disagreement with my friends now without having it well how will I know I've forgiven these are some things that I've noticed in my own journey in my own process family now forgiveness the sting of in in other words build the bridge on your side and then be ready to be reconciled if they choose to build the bridge on there's Nisa choose to forget and released the person in situation to got in the number four allow the cross to cancel the sin allowed load can I just suggest you go to Jesus and ask that he would reveal any unforgiveness you may be holding in your heart it could be towards others to me or having a cause emotional pain I think the other way we'll know is that that person's name will be safe on our tongue sure make sure that you do it out of heart of forgiveness if you're still wanting vengeance if you're still wanting to set that person straight you're probably not am this is how it feels I knowledge the this is what happened after you've acknowledged the hurt I want encourage you to go to point number three you choose not to remember their sin against them a lot of say will I forgive but I cannot forget yeah that there may be some truth until everything is fixed and there are just some things that cannot be fixed that's why the Bible says live at peace with all men as far as it concerns sixty three you did this and then in seventy one and then last year and no no no no if you have forgiven you have released for every time a new feeling of offense came or a memory came to my mind I would have to say no in the name of Jesus I have chosen to forgive and I will not I've tried that I've tried acknowledge the hurt not only fed the offense that did not disperse their hurt so do it in the presence of Jesus say Lord here's relation most of the offense can be handled between my heart in guide I think too often we believe that we can't forget sure right to bring up records of wrongs most of all I think we will discover that we will be different wrongs and when something new happens we won't pile on all the old defense don't we do that especially marriage will back in nineteen you to address there are some situations where we're told in the Bible too when someone is wrong to you that you who are supposed to go to that person humbly but makes China weaver books dot com forward slash zero one six and check out the show notes if you're struggling to forgive you'll find links to my book having Mary Across to cancel the sin the cross that Jesus died on when he paid for your San it also paid for the person who wronged you like Jesus then when we choose to forgive well I can't wait to share more about cultivating unaffordable heart but for now I hope you'll go to jail spirit and I think you'll find some helpful advice there but I've also created a printable of Neil t Anderson's wealth steps to forgiveness could be towards herself and it might even be toward God we need to forget because we are never more much better just to humbly gently to say if appropriate if if there is often between you in you know they're fully aware a lot of us have some really really hurts that we've held onto for years and I think you'll find his advice they're very helpful remember we don't have to assist cancelled the power of the skin in your life it wants to pass cancelled the power of the sin that has been done to you in then I wanNA encourage you we'll talk more than anything else to help you live and love and lead like Jesus God bless you and as always thank you for listening until next time I friend she's to forget choose to forgive because that one thing you know what I mean when we say their name we will sort of feel that inside or have that little sarcastic tone forgiveness with the Holy Spirit out if you have a friend that you think might appreciate this message I hope you will forward the Lincoln share this podcast on social media we'll be less angry be she what when you have not dealt with unforgiveness in your heart. There is a simmering rage that just boils beneath the surface thankfully he doesn't want to leave their if we'll reach out to him and invites him into that place of hurt he'll change our hearts as we hammer of it and you need to be reconciled to them than humbly gently go to them but you know I've found that probably at least seventy percent of the city this you know there are some of you listening that you can't even remember what offended you but you now there is a level of anger that boy when your trigger is pushed you I forgive alone more than anyone Jesus understand your her he knows what it's like to be betrayed and he cares about your pain but have someone or something slams into your life without our permission and all of a sudden our hearts that's bounding our mind start swirling.
The First Ever "Blanket Fort" Show
"From NPR. It's from the Tom. Celebrating the power of music in the hands of America's interest. Hello friends and welcome to a completely unique from the top experience. This is our first ever blanket. Fort Show I'll explain. We're putting this show together during the covert nineteen global pandemic and while that has been painful and disorienting for all of us. The young people on from the top have insisted on making something beautiful out of this situation. I guess that's not surprising. Really it's what we love about the young people who we work with goodwill hope an energy for me you know living here in Manhattan. Which is really the epicenter of the American crisis putting together. This show today has been totally mood altering. It's been exciting. It's also been a great learning experience for me too. I truly hope and believe that this will alter your mood for the better too. So here's what we've done. All our live shows of course have been cancelled and our kids can't leave their homes so we decided to send them recording gear and walk them through the process of recording themselves and then conduct our interviews. And even our musical collaborations remotely I have to say. The tech has been amazing. I mean this couldn't even been possible just five years ago so in order to make the show sound good all the kids with the help of their parents by the way who have been amazing have had to pad their home recording rooms with pillows and blankets hence are goofy title of this episode. The blanket fort show now during this unsettling time I have to say I find the music of Bach. To be particularly comforting. Because it's spiritual but also it's sensible and its grounding so you're going to hear quite a bit of Bach today starting with our first performer coming to you from his living room. This is eighteen year old cellist. Cameron Shoe from Palatine Illinois performing prelude from Bach's third suite in C major Hum Hum and We just heard eighteen year. Old Cameron Chew Are Young cellist from Palatine Illinois performed the prelude of Bach's cello suite number three in c major and he was performing that right in his own living room. We're in the midst of this global pandemic so we don't have the luxury of getting together and meeting and performing in person and he's here with me now virtually and I'm looking at him. He's got a Mike on a little stand and the stand is sitting on an upside down. Spaghetti Pot and he's surrounded by blankets and it is wonderful to see this home setup. Cameron how are you and first of all just Bravo on the performance? Also creating a home recording setup isn't totally new for you in fact you have just recently made a really powerful video To sort of respond to the crisis that we're all going through right now. So what you did was you took the Swan One of the most beautiful and well known cello pieces and you had each cellist. Perform one phrase at a time and you talk about that process short video itself. We picked this piece because it's very simple yet. Incredibly and kind of how the project started was a friend and I had this idea to do something on a national level like get twelve cellists from from around the nation but then after thinking about it this pandemic is really affecting everybody in the world and This video really would have a stronger message if this was kind of an effort done by Various countries including the so we we had looped the peace once more so that it was twice as long so we can include twelve other chalice from different countries. Yeah it's such a soothing piece of music which we really need during this time and I love how each challenge just takes their own phrase and so we get to hear everyone's unique sound and at such a moment of unity. We've been listening to the audio from the video but for all of you listening at home in order to really get the full power of this thing you have to see it and and and see the way it's put together. It's just beautiful so we've got a link at the top dot org. Go check it out. I'm not surprised that you succeeded with your home recording today because you actually come from an incredibly musical family spill the beans on the nickname that you use to describe your family's rather musical inclinations. Yeah so when I was young I used to call us the Asian von Trapps the Asian von Trapp. So tell us about your your Asian von Trap Family Family Yes oh my dad is Violence he plays in the Chicago Symphony. Orchestra my mom is a piano teacher and My brother he's cellist right now Grad School At the Rice University and my sister is the violinist at the Curtis Institute of Music. And she's from the top alum. Oh yes but now I mean in the midst of everything that we're going through you. Actually you have your family kind of back together again right. Yeah definitely what you know. We had a few sight reading sessions and It's kind of difficult because we really need a violist. So sometimes Sometimes we we get our. My cousin is a violist. So he's kind of well that's convenient. Yes so he lives like emitted away from us so sometimes we kinda sneak into the house. You know kind of breaking yeah keep him six feet away all six feet away. Thank you so much for being with us today. Cameron and for recording your music at home and and diving into this crazy experiment with the blanket. Fort Show. It's been really great to get to know you. Thank you very much for having me for the last fifteen years from the top and the Jack Kent. Cooke Foundation have awarded over. Three million dollars in scholarships to talented young musicians who have financial need. We still have more to give got it from the top dot. Org to learn more as I mentioned earlier. We're putting this show together during what I'm hoping is the peak of this Cova nineteen crisis and so all of our young musicians are recording themselves at home. Almost all of them are using from the top's audio gear that we sent them and we've carefully and joyously coached them through that process including our next performer. Who LIVES IN MINNEAPOLIS MINNESOTA? She's an excellent pianist and her name is Clara role stead. She's fourteen and she brought us a beautiful piece. By the Great Robert Schumann. Well Clara it's so great to have you here. Thank you so much for joining. Us remotely Right now I'm seeing you at your piano. You have blankets all around to create this sort of home studio. It's very impressive. Before you get into your performance tell us a little bit about what we should know about. This Schumann peace. And of course it's titled the Abegg Variations. Yes so this piece is very cleverly titled It's title is ABC Gee-gee Operations. Most people assume it's based on a character that Schumann had in his head but then there was also a real Ahlberg that he met a couple of times so people are not sure who this Abegg wrote this ave radiation piece on but he starts the piece very cleverly he starts off literally with a B E g g on the piano so he's actually going out the name with musical letters. Yes I'm wondering if you can actually demo for us the A. B. E. G. G. The way he spells out the name at the very beginning of the piece yes of course right so that's the main theme and it comes back again and again he sneaks it into surprising little spots either in the left hand or the right hand. Could you play for us how it happens variation three with all of that crazy right hand? Filagree happening around it. Yeah Oh okay so now that we know what to listen for. Let's hear you dive into the whole peace. I'm just going to sit back and relax here. I'm at home in my cosy New York apartment and you are half a country away. And you're going make this Schumann. Come to life. I can't wait to hear you play it. Long Only we heard fourteen year. Old Clara roasted from Minneapolis Minnesota performing variations on the name tag by Robert Schumann. So far on the program. Today we've been hearing our kids play from home unaccompanied but now you're going to hear a long distance musical collaboration. I had the adventure of collaborating remotely with the basis up next. It's eighteen year old. Brayden Ellis from Bramall Pennsylvania. So we did this by sending recordings back and forth a few times Brayden in his home and me in my New York apartment so that we could actually synchronized with one another but also share our musicianship with each other and yet never lose the natural push and pull of musical expression. So here's the result. This is Brandon Ellis and yours truly performing a double Bass version of meditation from Thais Baiju. Msa and uh-huh Brayden eighteen years old from the Philadelphia Area performed meditation from Thais? By jewelry on the Double Bass with yours. Truly on the piano and Brayden is one of our Jack. Kent Cooke Young Artists so after Brandon finished recording his take of meditation in his Living Room. He and I talked over zoom. I began by asking him what you might perceive to be a kind of superficial question. But don't worry there's a method to my madness. I I've read that you are very tall. You might be the tallest from the top kid ever May. Maybe maybe A. I'm six five My Dad is six six. My little brother who sixteen right now is like six eight Is it true that your brother's size actually affected his ability to play instrument? Yeah like he's play violin and then his fingers just got too big like he couldn't play like half steps anymore. It's just like you gotta get something so everybody's tall like most people when they see us They're like do you play basketball. You play some sport and I'm like I play Bass. Yeah so as great. How how did you end up playing the bass okay? Yeah So I played violin for about five years and I only made squeaky toned so I was like all right fair. I'll play a go. Get a cello And so he went to the Luthier I saw base so I got sidetracked right away and I was like what is this. This looks cool and I thought that it was like the fingerings where the same as like a violin. Then I realized it's it's not even tune the same way. Like how do you play this thing? I WANNA learn so nice to pay for the cost of getting the instrument I dragged my brother and we went out to the front lawn of The luthier is like store and We picked weeds. Cut The grass I that Poison Ivy. My brother was fine and Yeah I got the base. I gotTA Vanda transport it and rest is history. Wow I love the idea of you and your brother doing yard work for a Luthier in exchange for or you know to help mitigate the cost of this giant vase now in addition to playing classical base you also do a lot of music outside of that realm and it turns out you make all these wonderful tracks at home and This one you to us. I just think it's so cool. It's called Polaris. Let's take a listen So tell me about this tune and is it satisfying for you to be able to make music like this which is so different from the typical experience of a young classical musician? Yeah I think with classical music reading on the page and you can have your interpretation of that but you also have your inner musician. Your inner composer like everybody has it like everybody's noodled around made their own little licks and stuff but once you take that and just kind of explore yourself. I think that's just what's very satisfying for me. Your whole roof comes out and is there. It is like that's you so that song is named after a star and I have a feeling that has something to do with your interest in astronomy. I can name so many. I love astronomy. Like I'm not not at all professional but I do like reading about like black. Holes like Hawking radiation how this all fits into quantum physics Uncertainty principles like that. That was not my focus in school at all but it is very satisfying to learn about so brayden. You come from a rather athletic family. You're a serious classical musician. You create these Beatson and music production you also Gig out on physics. I mean that's a lot of different interests. Do you find that there are different people with whom you connect different communities or or or folks who you have this bond with depending on which sort of area you find yourself in any given day. Yes I think like. A lot of friends come from like music programs. They do have to hear a lot about like. Oh yeah you know how Sagittarius a prime is like the black hole at the center of the galaxy like Blah Blah Blah but I will share like my performance from juilliard with them but also share like a twenty snippet beat that I made because I want to get their opinion on it so I think it's good that I'm able to kind of be free with things. I'm interested in have friends that appreciate what bike sharing and ultimately that just leads to an even deeper friendship. Yeah let's this all about exactly check up. From the tops video docu series where music lives hosted by Kevin Lucia of the Grammy Award winning Acapella group Pentatonic meet fantastic and musicians in their own communities at from the top dot org support for. Npr comes from this station and from Glenmede. An investment and wealth management company WHO believes an investment in arts education will enrich lives for generations? Learn more from Laura Larosa at two one five four one nine six zero two seven from the Jack Kent. Cooke Foundation providing scholarships to high achieving students with financial need J. K. C. F. Dot Org and from the E. C. M. C. Foundation E. C. M. C. Foundation Dot Org from NPR. It's from the top celebrating. The power of music in the hands of America's kids here again is Peter Dugan. Thanks Joanne. If you're just tuning in today's from the top is a program recorded entirely remotely in response to the social distancing practices necessary during the corona virus. Pandemic I mentioned at the beginning of the show that you're going to hear a lot of Bach today box. Music is this perfect combination head and heart intellect and spirit and I find that sense of balance to be so comforting during a time like this. So here's my contribution to today's Bach theme it's a particularly fun and uplifting piece. Actually this is the league from the French. Sweet number five in G major Ooh Check out from the top's podcast featuring music and interviews not heard on the radio broadcast at from the top dot org from the top musicians. WanNa change the world for the better and we're here to support them. That's from the top offers leadership training to all of our young musicians and we're out there with them doing community engagement projects across the country. Learn more about all our programs that from the top dot org our next performer on this. Our home studio show is seventeen year old. Alexandra vignettes go from Stony Brook. New York you're about to hear she and I collaborate remotely through the joy of technology actually took several video calls swapping audio files back and forth and some serious listening to put this all together all this being necessary. Of course to follow social distancing protocol during this pandemic. Hope you enjoy as Alexandra. Virginia and I perform C. Show by Carl. Engel arranged by Ephram Zimbalist Only seventeen year. Old Violinist Alexandria Virginia performed seashell by Carl. Engel recorded in her home with me at the piano collaborating with virtually from my New York apartment after watching her record her part in her makeshift home studio. She and I had a little chat. Well first of all let me just say how beautiful you play this piece and thank you for introducing it to me I I feel like this piece is very emotional and I know you feel that way to and from what I understand. Your teacher was telling you this is a piece that should be played with such conviction that it makes people cry. And now you've been trying that out at home using your parents as your subjects. Well Yeah Yeah So. I played this piece Amaze Summer Camp I had to learn a couple of weeks before I went there and As I learned it I sat my parents down on the couch in the living room and I was like I've played it and Unfortunately they didn't cry but I was really trying to. I can't believe I'm saying this but keep keep at it and eventually you'll make your parents cry. I know it'll happen. Let's talk a little bit about what's happening in the world today. We're in the midst of this of this global pandemic. How're you just? How are you doing? Yeah I think Being in New York especially is kind of scary. Because of the skyrocketing cases Yeah both my parents are actually doctors in our local Stony Brook Hospital and they keep on sending emails about like deploying people from other professions into like the frontlines work. And actually this Wednesday so tomorrow. My parents will get an email like saying if they're going next week or not so it's like a really day by day thing. It's really stressful and scary. It will pass. I'm sure it's scary. Well as you probably know every night at seven o'clock we all in Manhattan. Which is where I am right now. We all go out onto a rouf's or stick our heads at our window and cheer and applaud. Thank people like your parents for for what they're doing It it requires so much bravery. I actually went up on our roof yesterday and recorded that we are just so grateful for people like your parents and everything that they're doing right now. Yeah so your parents. They're both doctors but also Another interesting thing about their Polish. Right I mean your name is kind of gives that away yeah. They both were born and raised in Poland and My older sister actually was also born in Poland. Nice and neither of them plays music right and yet they know they pushed you and and your siblings to study music pretty seriously so I find it kinda surprising that they weren't pushing science or something like that you what. What about music? Do you think appeals to them. I think my dad always wanted to become a musician when he was growing up but he couldn't because of the he grew up in both. My parents grew up in communist times in Poland so getting access to that kind of private like instruction was very hard so they weren't able to do that so they wanted to push Music to their children because they can have it themselves when they were growing up. Well I think it's wonderful that your parents have given you this opportunity and you're clearly making the most of it by sharing your music in the most beautiful way. So thank you for that. Thank you so much for having me. We wanted to include an ensemble on this episode. But we thought it might be impossible given the need for social distancing right now happily we learned that one of the groups that had applied to from the top hat in existing professional level recording of their music and what a phenomenal piece. It is to will meet the group in a moment. But first here's the purple Hippopotami Flute. Quartet ages fifteen to eighteen from the Chicago area performing an extraordinary contemporary work called RAGAS SIP single by Canadian composer. Derek Shark P- vote to food. Jones turn did do how cute took turn took took. Can't that was the purple Hippopotami Quartet from the Chicago. Area performing RAGAS Sept- single by Derek. Shark the members of the group. Are Emma Krause Eighteen Catherine Chen fifteen nina to boost? Seventeen and Natalia cousins. Have also seventeen. They're coached at the Merit School of Music. One of Chicago's fantastic music. Institutions by Elizabeth Co. Okay so why? The group name Purple Hippopotami. Well apparently the syllables of that name originally helped the group count in. Sevens which they needed to do to perform a particular piece. So you know like Purple Hippopotami one two three four five six seven Purple Hippopotami Purple Hippopotami. Anyway we did a skype call together. Everyone this is Peter Dugan. Are Y'all there hi Pamela. Hey Oh my gosh. It's so great to be talking to you all and to be meeting you. I'm really happy that you're all you know staying safe and staying healthy and A now let's just talk about the piece. We just heard because it is really different for a flu quartet. You know. It's probably not what most people would expect when they think of four flutes playing together. It's very rhythmic. It's Groovy and you all play it so beautifully Emma Talk about what? It's like to play that piece in is it. Is it fun to work on that? Yeah I personally love the peace It's very different from most of the things I've played. It has a lot of extended technique which I haven't done a lot of so this piece. I've definitely grown a lot. Yes so when we talk about extended techniques just. You're referring to to all kinds of ways of playing the instrument beyond what is normally expected right. You were playing first flute on that right. Yeah so you had a lot of those long kind of lyrical moments as well so on the other hand. We HAVE NATASHA. Who is the the base flutist? You're you're part is all those extended techniques right. Yup I mean it's it's relentless you're just kind of grooving all the way through my mouth tends to get really dry so then I bring. I usually have like a giant water bottle that I'll use right before we play so I don't die in the middle so that you don't just just die in the middle that's smart Katherine Hi Oh you're you're like the baby of the group right. You've only been playing the flute. For how many years now Three and a half. Wow that's so impressive. How how did you first come to the flu? This this was back in. What like six grid. Yes so when? I got an opportunity to choose an instrument to play for the school band program. I was like well. We have a lot of options here but I chose to go with the flow because it fit in my backpack could very well because it's that small. That is a good reason. Yes so the flu I duNno it just Kinda stuck to me and I continued. End started with private lessons and ended up in the quartet which has shaped me into the flute player that I am now. I love that and you know. I've heard that you have all one. You know your fair share of competitions which is really not surprising having just heard you but what I really found very special was the way you all treat each other and behave even when things don't necessarily go so well Nina I was wondering if you could talk about what happened at the fish off competition which is of course one of if not the most prestigious of all the chamber music competitions in this country of course so last year we went to fish off and we played for the competition. I was first flute for one of the peace and When we played on the competition in front of Churches Serve Did Not come in and when I came in I was it was a very weak sound and I was not confident at all so when we ended playing I felt really bad about myself and really bad about high played and a few hours later later we were in the in the hotel room. And we're all on a bed and everything and I wouldn't point. I felt so bad that a win crying in the bathroom which was not good. We've lost that good. Yup and I went out in. We just sat in a circle on the beds with my courts. It and we shared our first or offers but experience in front of an audience that we've had and we all like win. Run after the others until it at the end it was good because we felt like we all had something bad. That happened and we felt good about it because we shared it and we can use the fact of our shared humanity kind of come together and try to feel a little bit better about things so I think your story is really timely and appropriate frosty here and more importantly I love that the four of you have this great relationship with each other that you lift one another up that's really beautiful and Thanks for thanks for being with US. Thank you thank you thank you. I hope you've enjoyed today's program recorded all remotely with our kids at home making music in their blanket for it's all around the country this is do. I want to say to you listening at home or in your car. On the way to the grocery store or taking a responsibly socially distance walk in some quiet place. Thank you for listening. Please join from the talk next week from the top is written and produced by Tim. Banker and Tom Vaguely our music. Director is Meghan Swan and the production. Managers Matt Deichmann Technical Direction by Barad. Willett with John. Escobar and Chris Rando and from the top's executive director is Gretchen Nielsen. I'm Joanne Robinson from the top an nonprofit organization based in Boston. If you'd like to appear in our program apply online at from the top dot org from the top is supported in part by award from the National Endowment for the Arts on the web at Arts Dot Gov Support for NPR. Comes from this station and from. Senior helpers providing families with personalized in home care for seniors and those living with Alzheimer's Dementia and Parkinson's committed to helping loved ones remain safe and independent at home at senior helpers dot com and from the John D and Catherine T. MacArthur foundation supporting creative people and effective institutions committed to a more just verdant and peaceful world. More information is at MAC found dot org.
#25: Decor Inspiration for Renters
"You're listening to a beautiful mess podcast. This week. We're spending the entire episode chatting about Ducor inspiration for renters about half of the ABM rents and his former renters ourselves. We know it comes with some very unique challenges that said decorating apartments played a huge part in figuring out our style and though it can be restrictive can also be super inspiring. Let's jumping so we rented for a long time and I used to move kind of a lot like I was definitely like cereal mover through my twenties so about every six months to every year would move and I don't think I stayed in any house. I lived in for more than maybe a year and a half through my whole twenties so I definitely had a lot of apartments and also dead and some obviously better than others. Some you know that we loved in some way and some that. We hated the whole time but we decorated them. The best we could and we learned so much. Do you agree that? Decorating apartment is a great education for yourself. Yeah definitely here where I live in the Midwest. A lot of times you rent when you're younger and you buy when you're a little bit older but there's a lot of areas of the country where you rent forever like. I just view it as where you live you know but the thing with renting like everyone who's currently doing it or has done it knows sometimes there are some rules around what you can and cannot do in your home because you don't own the structure you don't own the building that your apartments in so they don't want you to knock down. Walls or change the countertops necessarily or you know some various things like that so there can be a few more challenges or a few more things that you just can't do more rules than a homeowner. Although I will point out that a lot of the bigger things that homeowners can do cost a lot more money. So there's a lot of homeowners especially new homeowners. Who really don't have the budget to be doing that stuff anyway. They're pretty much on. The same budget is someone. Who's GonNa be Mitt doing a makeover as a renter so anyway? I don't know it's different. Different perspectives. So yeah and the one thing I will say is when you first moved to a new apartment. If there's something you want to change ask because sometimes the landlord has been wanting to do that. Update Anyway sometimes. They'll even pay for it or maybe they'll split it with you but they don't always say no. I had a lot of times when I asked to do something where they said yes especially when it was you know right as I was moving in. Yeah and as someone who owns a long term rental if someone was interested in making a like really positive change to the house and was open to splitting it with us if we could afford to whatever they asked like we would probably for sure do it because we like. That's great. It's going to be great for you. You're probably going to stay in the house longer and it's GonNa be great for the structure of the building. Which own so this is a win win. So yeah definitely yeah to ask. Okay. So we're each going to give three tips for decorating apartments or rentals and I hope that this is inspiring if you're living in a rental and you're focused on the things that you can't change. Hopefully this will help you focus on some things that you can't change so my first step is to make your own art. This is definitely the biggest thing that I used to do. I still do. It's fun and it's something that you can do. That really makes a room so it's not very expensive. If you go to the craft stores in new US in both the or all the craft stores have an APP where you can get like a forty or fifty percents off coupon every week and you can buy like a massive giant canvas for not very expensive and make your own giant painting. It can be modern it can be minimal. You can sort of mimic something that you saw online. That was three thousand dollars that you love but you would never be able to spend three thousand dollars on a piece of art. And I just think it's such a great creative way to customize your space I also had a friend one time just popped into my head where. She was working on a painting in her Living Room. And it was real pretty big. It was over her couch and it was like half done but she already had it hanging in the space and she would basically just take it down and work on it as she could and then hanging it back up and I think it kind of cool yeah motivated her and it was fun to watch. It evolve over time and she didn't have to store this half finished piece. She just stored it where it was going to go so it was kind of like. I don't know sort of a fun. Some people wouldn't like that but since you know that our podcast is called a beautiful mess I just feel like that's like a really fun and interesting. I don't know wait if you are to like. It's a process. Okay Oh my I tip. Is consider painting or removable wallpaper. So a lot of times people say oh. I'm a renter I can't paint and I think that is true. Sometimes for sure for some people also there are a lot of situations where you really can't paint or like put nails in the wall. You just have to be really aware of repainting it when you leave and if you're willing to do that to fill the holes and paint it if you ever move out then you're not GonNa lose your deposit so it just depends and I would like check into that a little bit if you can. But if you can't paint. Another idea is removable wallpaper. They make it like all the modern removable wallpaper. At least saw the ones I've worked with. It truly does come off like in sheets whenever you remove it. It's pretty amazing if you're worried about it though or you're using a brand that you don't see a lot of reviews and you're just like unsure order a couple samples and stick them up somewhere that's GonNa be hidden behind a table or behind. Cabinet leaves them for a couple of weeks to a month and then peel them off and see if they do any damage to the wall. Just so where where? It's going to be an area that no one would ever really find her. So the sure your size because you'll be able to know right away and we will link in the show notes. Our favorite removable while paper places because there are so many. It's amazing and I definitely agree with that. It's one of the best ways you can help a mural you can have a statement wall and it's not easy to put up but it's not. It's something that anyone can do. If you're willing to just put on a podcast in half some patients and not be like an insane perfectionist. Yeah again by a few samples and you can practice right so if you've never ever done it before practice on a little piece somewhere like not it doesn't have to be a wall it could just be scrapped pieces of wood. You saw your neighbor throw it away or something like something that helps you see. Okay I see that I should do it this way. Or Oh if a bubble happens. Here's what I can do to like. Get it fixed right away or you know whatever yes Okay so my second tip is to invest in pieces that you can take with you so I think this is one of the best things that you can do. As a renter is to start collecting some classic pieces classic too. You can mean different things to different people but some things that you just love that you're going to want to take with you. I still have a couple of pieces that I've been moving with me since the beginning of time. And they're like a couple of them are thrift. Id and one of them is the bed. You know that mom and dad got me for my doors present when I was twenty four and I still have it in my be. Nba couldn't like him president. It really it really was a great divorce president. Yeah they were sweet. Yeah investing in pieces that you can take with you that you love so I'll just name a few great bed frame like that bed. I'm talking about board canopy. Bad All Lincoln. In the show notes they still sell. It is solid as F. U. C. K. And you cannot break you through any move you will never break it. You might have to like you know repainted. A little bit or whatever but you will never break it. That's for sure and I think a couple of quality rugs the rug sizes. Because I've moved so much the ones that you'll never regret I would say an eight by ten. You can always find a place in your next house for an eight by ten and doormat sizes like for your bathroom. You're doormats quality rugs either vintage or natural materials in those sizes you can probably keep using them over and over forever. What couple more up really great coffee table? Really Great Sofa Anyway Olayinka. Few of the ones that I've moved a bunch that I really love but yeah investing in pieces that you know that you'll use in whatever space you move to next. I think is a great way to spend your money instead of doing something really custom that you're not going to translate to your neck space right like a built in or something that you wouldn't be able to take your shelves are such shelves are the worst like you can never use them in your next space when you move by tip. Number two is lighting so a lot of times yeah you can swap out. light fixtures. It depends but especially if you keep the old light fixture like if you had attractive light and Fan Combo that you didn't like let's say you swapped it out for beautiful fan or a beautiful light and you don't even care about the fan. Whatever as long as you keep the old one you can swap it back before you move another option though. If you're like I'm not sure I'll be able to swap the lights. I don't know if I have access to break her boxes. I'm not sure if my landlord would allow it or whatever another thing is to this is gonNA sound like such a dorm room thing but I literally have them in the room. I'm in right now Christmas lights or sometimes people call them fairy lights so just hanging lights because I feel like I work from home but not everyone does and a lot of the time that we spend at home is in the evenings or it's an a low light time of day so having lights that feel like cozy and happy. I think that's part of what I love about. Christmas is the Christmas tree lights. I jus- great having them in my house so you can totally replicate that no matter your budget or if you're a rancher or if you own your house. I literally have them up the room. I'm in right now as I'm podcasting 'cause I just think they're really cute and they have such a fun. Little Cozy vibe yes. It is the ultimate hookah. Feeling I just I love them. It's like he can keep them up year round in ways to use them. That don't look like Christmas. And Yeah it makes me so happy to. Yeah Okay my third tip is to thrift your heart out and okay hear me out. I know that not. Everyone loves thrift. Stores you don't even have to thrift store. You can use facebook marketplace you can go to just flea markets which who doesn't like to restore curated. You know some people just you know it grosses them out. I get it. They can be gross. Okay well sometimes you know he's small bounds but like not always and some of the greatest advantage of my life was three dollars from a thrift store. So I'm definitely a thrift person and I love it. I don't mind you know that one out of every size say okay out of every five times. I walk into a thrift store. I walk out with something. Maybe one time I tried to be very picky. You know so but I don't mind that because to me it's just like stop in when I have time and only bring home things that are magical in amaze- yeah when you have an apartment to fill and not much money if you can set aside even like forty dollars a month you can go to thrift store and buy furniture for real and painted you know sand it or I used to do a lot of Decca packaging in my day. You know just anything that makes you happy and that to me was my greatest. I guess my way of getting into design was trying to make my own stuff. Basically for free yet and thrifts are a great place to find lots of things you can also find like great fabric in the like blanket or fabric section or curtains if you like sewing or if you want to make your own curtains also if you like to decorate with books Elsie night both have had big decor type pieces on our home centered around books She had her Rambo Book. As I have this bookcase that covers my fireplace that we don't use in function away but it's still there and books. That's a great place to get books. Obviously it's great if you collect books and you like to read them but I have more books in my home than I have read and I am a big reader so thrift. Great place to collect that yeah. We have a bookstore here in Nashville. If you're ever in the area it's called Mackay's and it is like the used book heaven. It's the greatest used bookstore I've ever been to and I just love to go there and I usually just get like a couple of art books couple of gardening books. Maybe a like to breeze through the biography. I'll and yeah even like the DIY books. Like I have a couple of books that are like how to build your own cabin and I just love looking at them even though it's just for fun and obviously not going to build a cabin. Yeah I love. Old School like Halloween or Christmas holiday type crafting books. 'cause they sometimes are so outdated. It's coming back around to me And I also love cookbooks. Yes all Kooks but anyway okay. My third thing is inexpensive rugs or curtain. Well they don't have to be inexpensive but just rugs or curtains and you can put rugs over carpet or over any flooring so if especially if you don't love the carpet like if you have carpet in your bedroom and you can't change that rug because it'll definitely change the feeling Not only visually but also like literally the feeling under your feet when you get out of bed in the morning so I urge to one hundred percent support that and will link Some of the most inexpensive places we have a couple roundups of rugs that are not very expensive. Rugs are yeah yeah rugs like Elsie was mentioned before if you WanNa get if you want invest in Iraq and you're like oh I I know I this rug. I'm going to keep forever. So what size do I? I agree I think. Eight by ten scrape because you can always layer rug if you have a rug. That's a little bit too small for a certain area. Just get some kind of natural jute rug or something splaine. That's going to be a lot less expensive and you can put that underneath and it can kind of be a little bit of a vibe. So there's lots of ways to kind of make it work for your area but I really do think rugs and curtains will make a room feel completely different depending what you choose based on your style and budget. So that's a good place to start and you can take them with you absolutely so I wanted to give a quick shout to the ultimate renter friendly. Diy Inspiration which is instagram. Hot Pink Pineapples. Yes Yes oh. My Gosh inspiring. And she's definitely one of those people who will who goes all out with her rental and she says it's fine. I'M GONNA paint it back before I leave. And that's you know like Emma saying earlier. That's just a choice you can make can say. I WanNa love my house. One hundred percent for these years that I'm living in especially for people who live in very expensive markets. Where you know you're GONNA be renting for a long time anyway. Follow her. She has some amazing. Diy is not too expensive stuff. That I mean you have to be committed and want to use power tools and want to make stuff to do a lot of it but even if you're not going to make it still just fun to follow and watch what she makes for her. Oh it's it's amazing. She's so talented. I agree okay so we also have a reader question and I think this is a really really good interesting question from Rebecca. Yes Rebecca ask. I'd love to hear some advice on finding a new career. I think a lot of us are really inspired by your story and would like to figure out ways to take the plunge into finding a new career path. That is more in line with who we are so what I would say is I think if you're looking to change your career is I'm assuming you already have a some kind of career or job and you're not loving it in. That's kind of what I got from her question. So while you're still doing this job this career path you don't love. I think that's a good time to do a couple of things one explore because the worst thing would be if you go to all the trouble of changing your career and then you don't love the new thing so yes that would suck so good time to explore and kind of try things out and really try to get a feel for as best you. Can you know if you're going to like some of the things that you really don't know if you're going to enjoy the new career until you're doing it? I have friends who do what we do. Who Hated Enquist? Yeah it's It looks fun but it's a lot of just sitting in your house by herself pies blogs APPs all of it it all looks more fun and easier than it really is. Yeah and then the second thing is. I'm assuming that you probably have some kind of income from your current career jobs. So it's a good time to start some kind of savings plan and be actively saving because no matter what career you change to. You're probably going to have a time period. Hopefully it'll be sure but they'll be some time. At least we are going to be making less money. Because you make some kind of change or job you might have to start at a lower position than you are currently at in your current career or you might be starting your own business and that could take time for it to get off the ground so building up your safety net your nest egg so that hopefully you have a couple of years to live off of it before you take. The leap is good. And then the third thing I would do is to be thinking about once you've explored and you're kind of have an idea of the next thing you want to do whether it's building a new business or whatever. It is make a big master plan. That is a three to five year. Plan of how. You're going to move in that direction to this new career and be actively doing things every single month to move in that direction because I think it can be easy to feel. It's easy to look at someone else and think. Oh Wow that happened to you overnight. And for Elsie night. Both arcade did not happen overnight at all. It took a long time and it will for you too. And that's not a bad thing but you need to be actively working towards it all the time so that as time passes you're moving towards the new thing that you want to do and some months it'll feel like you make a lot of progress and some months it will probably feel like you didn't make any but as long as you have that master plan of three to five years then you're GonNa know I'm still on track because I accomplished this thing this month. I totally agree. I changed careers as a result of sort of losing my job when I wasn't expecting to and I went through my savings really fast and it felt like relatively a lot of money but it was gone really quickly and I had a few years that were very very challenging trying to establish our new business and earn money but also I think that the pressure that I felt for it to be a dream job could makes it really complicated to. I'm one of those people. This is gonNA sound so unromantic but I do really mean this that I think that when you have a job that feels secure and that it feels you know consistent and in some ways like just you know regular adult job that is a really freeing thing because you're gonna WanNa do other things in your life to. You're going to want to buy a house you're going to want to maybe become a parent. I know when I did. I was like Whoa big change in my life and it cost a lot of money to adopt children and things like that you know. There's just things in life besides your job like so having a job that you sort of can romanticize in love and feel like as a dream is important in some ways but I also feel like might not look like what you think. It's GonNa look like you know like in the Disney movie version of it. It's like I want open a flower shop. So I'm GonNa go and find a building to lease and I guess I'll just have a flower. You know what I mean. It just kind of happens. That's not how real businesses in real life happen. And I think mixing something that you love that you've tested because I didn't know I would love doing apps like it's so weird. It's so not the thing that I set out to do but I love it so much you know and then finding something where you have the potential to make a good income and that can grow. I think that's different for different people but for me the feeling like there's a lot of jobs where you can either get straight up heisler share college and you feel like you're making more money than your friends and you feel really good but then by the time you're thirty you feel like you've hit a wall and you can't grow and it's a very frustrating position to be in. I think having the room to grow for me as a big part of what I want out of career and to not have that room would kind of like I would be hard for me to stay motivated So yeah just important. Think about all those things but I know it's it doesn't feel as like exciting. Yeah I think to matters to to other things that I thought of. As you're explain ACCI totally agree. Elsie is one. I think There is a lot of happiness around who you work with and what you're working environment like you know so. I really like working by myself alone completely alone and some people would hate that so I think like you know if you see a dream job that involves being around people all day for me. That would actually not be so great even though I might like what's what the job is. I don't think I would like the environment and then I also think if you are in a situation where everyone you work with you know is it's not a positive environment for whatever reason it may not be the job it might be that and that may be something that you have to evaluate and consider changing and whatever way that you can but it may not be that you hate your career might be that you hate your co workers or your boss. Douchebag or you know something like that so who knows so that and then also. I think there's sometimes space to challenge yourself that doesn't have to do with a career. For example I love my job I do feel very challenged by it and I love it so I'm not like saying I don't but I have noticed that a lot of the authors that I really love most of them It's not their whole thing. They usually work somewhere else but they also write great fiction and I kind of think if if I ever get lucky enough to publish anything I really wouldn't mind it if that's the direction it goes. I don't really WanNa be you know. I don't expect to be like it's my only job. I think it's really fun and rewarding and it would be great debate some income but it doesn't really matter to me because I can see that so many people that I admire. It's not their whole thing. They do other stuff too. And that's a lot of like living creative. Career is a lot of times you make income from lots of different areas and that can be very frustrating to some people or it can feel very national to some people so I agree. Okay I have one more thing I want to say okay. This feels yeah important so the best of ice. My life was from Carter. Brian and he was one of my best friends in Springfield And he said was he. Do you tell people what he okay. So Carter's the creator of the bratz dolls So yeah he was like my friend who is a real millionaire. And he taught me so much I tried to do a toy line when I was in my twenties and it didn't get picked up or bought but it was such a big great learning experience for me and I still have the prototypes in my garage So supportive he's such. He helped me have my pitch meeting and he was just a one horse. And so yeah. When I had my boutique and my tax debt and lots of problems I was I had technically like from the outside looking in I had a dream job that made people jealous and made people inspired but I also was really unhappy and really stressed because it was a it was like I was staying up all night trying to make four paintings so that I could make four hundred dollars so that I could pay my next bill. Every week was like that. It was just very stressful so anyway. He told me that I needed to set like think of businesses a table with four legs. Unaided have four income streams that were all very solid so that if something happens bad in the future with one of them which it will we just had that this past week with our AIRBNB businesses in Slyke gone from like the bad low time of the year to like were literally not going to make any money for a couple of months. We're actually going to pay money to keep them going and pay these extra mortgages this like you know. If that were our only business it would be incredibly devastating. Yup but you know because we follow this advice with the legs of the table. Then there's three other legs there which can still make a standing table. Not Maybe not a great one. But it's not gonNA like immediately crumble. So anyway that was the best business advice of my life and shortly after that we started our program which was our first place where we really made some solid money and then after that we started first APP we started writing books and we started monitoring our blog in different ways and Eventually you know we have a business that is pretty stable even in a very shitty time of crisis. Yup Yup which were very grateful for. I mean it's it's both it's luck and hard work. Yeah and we're really grateful but take that advice if nothing else find something you love but it can be one of four parts. It doesn't have to be the whole entire thing just by itself. That is very very very hard way to live your and hopefully that's helpful. Thank you for Writing Rebecca. Yeah thank you so much for listening. If you're enjoying our podcast so far would mean a lot to us if you would share it either on instagram on twitter. Whatever kind of social media that you love to use Personal Recommendations are definitely the number one way that we grow so even just texting it to your friend or your mom if you think they would enjoy it would mean a lot to us and don't forget to subscribe.
013: The Problem of All-or-Nothing | The Living Room
"Tools for living room to grow a space of grace to become everything god wants us to be. You're you're listening to the living room podcast. Joanna weaver episode thirteen well. Hello there my sweet brands. I hope you're having a wonderful day. It's still summer here in montana and i'm loving it. It's been a sweet sweet time. Even though it's been kind of crazy busy we've had a chance to go. Campaign campaign a little bit and spent time with our extended family. One of the most exciting parts is we have a brand new grandbaby nathaniel. David downs was born back in in july a month early so i'm excited because i get to go back and see him again. Just this next week <hes> we've had time to spend with the twins jackson quinn they our <hes> just a year old and omega so much fun. Josh got his learner's permit lots of exciting big big stuff but in between all of that i've also also to figure out how to squeeze in writing time because that's my job i'm under deadline and an i need to do the work but can i be honest of always kind of struggled with all or nothing thinking and moving back and forth between the responsibilities i feel is really an art. Form has not come naturally twist and maybe you struggle with it as well because we are multidimensional multi passionate women with lots of different hats that we have have to wear and if you're like me this all or nothing thinking can absolutely paralysed me into the nothing space in so i end up feeling in guilty and i really do struggle with is guilty when i'm writing that i feel like i should be with my family and then when i'm with my family. I feel like you should be writing. You know some of us. Just go straight to the nothing. We're like yeah yeah. I'm i'm not an all or nothing person but in reality we really are because we don't do anything we're did. You afraid of failure. Were were afraid try we. We know we can't compare a major up to anyone else so we just sort of tapped down our desires and our dreams and we say <hes> yeah safer not to do anything at all but then there are others of us who go straight to the all in the all or nothing and driven ambitious. We're gonna make this thing happen. It's pedal to the metal. It's kind of funny because i think that i kind of fall somewhere in between those two and not in the healthy place sir i sometimes referred to myself as a frustrated perfectionist with the motivational gift of laziness. Those things don't work really well because you know really when it comes down to it. I want everything to be easy. I wanted to be easy. If it's too hard just quit. It actually happened today. There's a couple things going on with the podcast right now. I'm the podcast feed is broken in so episode. Twelve is only appearing on my blog. It's nowhere to be found not super great and then and then i just spent about fifteen minutes recording according this episode but i didn't have my mic plugged in my old all or nothing thinking would say joanna. Just give it up. Obviously it's not god's will this is too hard. You should just quit but i am learning all or nothing. Thinking does not serve me because here's the deal. I want things to be easy but life is hard. Life is hard. It requires that we work and that is not a four letter word. I think sometimes we think thinks that work is a part of the curse but listen before the fall before adam and eve rebelled against god genesis. Two fifteen tells us that god put would adam in the garden of eden to work it and take care of it worked is holy. It's part of what we were created to do. But at the same time sin indefinitely made it harder than god intended it to be because of their send genesis three seventeen tells us cursed is the ground because of you through through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life and yeah sometimes it's really really hard and that really really stinks but god wants wants to help us even in the hard places but we've got to let go of all or nothing thinking another part of my tendency to be all or nothing has to do with. I want to wait to do something until i feel like doing something and good luck with that. You know i don't know about you but it's not very productive to sit around and think too. I feel like fixing dinner at monte because ninety percent of the time mm-hmm oh. Let's be honest ninety nine percent of the time. I don't feel like doing any of that. I want life to be an event not maintenance. I wanna clean my house and i wanted to stay clean but that's not how it works. I have to clean up the next day as well as the next. I really struggled with this par- my i all or nothing thinking when it came to housekeeping really really was a hindrance in fact i would get. I would get so paralyzed by all the clutter that i couldn't do anything at all and my mother gave me some advice one day. She said you know the difference between a good housekeeper and a bad housekeeper. Someone told her is one hour and i thought well that yeah that's could but i mean one hour but i did take her advice and i started turning the timer on pretend minutes and then i would work as hard and as fast as i possibly could in so i wouldn't let myself pool out the junk drawer and try to organize it. That's what all or nothing thinking says that everything has to be perfect and in place instead i would just focus on getting the main things taking care of and and there was something beautiful that happened as i started moving that paralysis was broken and i was able to do more than just the ten minutes but it started by letting go of that all or nothing thinking you know another thing that has hindered me. Is this idea that if i can't do it all i won't do it at all and especially turns up when it comes to my writing because writing is one of the hardest things i do i want i want the perfect it is that i see in my mind to get on the page and it rarely happens you guys. It rarely happens in fact in fact it takes multiple multiple drafts for me to actually get what's in my heart and what they feel. God is sane onto the page. I wanna product. I wanna match quadrant but instead. It's taking a process but you know what's so beautiful. The process is divine because it makes me so dependent on the lord so where where is it showing up in your life this all or nothing thinking perhaps like me. It's i can't do anything until i have time to do. Everything remember the drawer story story or perhaps. Maybe you struggle with when i do something. It needs to be absolutely perfect. I wanted just encourage. You listen. Let let god dismantle that all or nothing thinking because it's not serving you my friend. I'm coming to believe that god is more of a both and god ad then an either or god which is very very good news because listen. This is a both and kind of life. We're called to live. I'm a wife and a mother and end. I need to cook and i need to keep my house clean. I'm a daughter and a sister and a friend and a mentor. I'm a pastor's wife and a writer and a speaker and and and and you could fill in the blanks of all your ends we've been called to do many things and i'm asking the lord to help me be comfortable with that and not feel guilty to move freely and graciously between all my responsibilities in second corinthians nine eight paul writes these words god is able to make all grace abound to you so that in all things at all times having all that you need you will alabama and in every good work as we let go of all or nothing thinking we're able to tap into that all abounding crease. They got promises to give us. I've been wanting to an really looking forward to sharing on this topic but it came up again in a post that my friend gretchen sappho apple put up on instagram. She is the founder of the well-watered woman and she kind of told a story about a conversation that she and i had several years ago she was in transition. They were i think they were moving as well as she was pregnant with her second child and she really wondered if her ministry the well watered watered women. Maybe that season ended. Did she meet to let it go and as i just listened to her share of this question came to my heart and so i asked asker. Does it have to be all or nothing or is there something in between you know what this concept has helped me so much edge. I can't do everything but i can't do something. You know what i believe that satan wants to paralyze he wants to keep us from being fruitful rightful and productive and he does it by telling us. It has to be perfect in that has to be all or nothing. He wants to resist us. 'cause resistance emotionally physically mentally spiritually. He really did that in my young adult life you know because i couldn't do my devotions perfectly as i had put expectations on myself then i ended up doing nothing at all and he wants to do that. In every area of our lives our flesh woman tells us no you can't do anything because what if you fail or what if you can't do a perfect but god wants to help us make forward progress so when you can't can't do everything ask him to show you how to do something. There is so much power in baby steps break that a nurse at that rosen feeling by just doing something that's in front of you. One of the things that helped me is in in getting my victory over my house is a concept. The fly lady shares online. She calls it the twenty-seven fling bougie and she suggests setting the timer for dislike five ten minutes and then running around the house with a black trash bag and finding twenty-seven things to throw away and after you do that then <hes> then find another bag and set the timer again and running around the house and find twenty-seven things to give away as you begin doing some things the paralysis of our all or nothing thinking will begin to lift and i find that true with my writing when i can't seem to figure out what to write on the page then i back up a little bit and try to find something that i can do. Maybe it's a little bit more research i need or or maybe it's just opening a whole new page and in just free writing in allowing myself to write about something setting the timer even for fifteen minutes just beginning to write. Don't try to do it on your own. You don't have to you can ask for wisdom and ask him for strength. Ask him to help you. Let go of that all or nothing thinking and even reveal where it's holding you hostage to its demands. Ask god to give you the courage to just do something today and then trust to help you do the rest. Remember that verse we read in second corinthians nine eight. God is able to make all grace abound you. Oh you so that in all things at all times having all you need you will abound in every good work well. That's my prayer for you today. If you have a friend that you think would enjoy this podcast or maybe need some encouragement. I hope you'll share the link from my website or your favorite podcasts player and while you're there if you wouldn't mind leaving a rating or review it can be as simple as just click on the amount of stars that you want to award it means a lot and i appreciate it so much and we'd love to have you join us over at the private facebook group to search for joanna weaver living room and then requesting esten invite answer some questions and we'll get you added to this beautiful community and be sure to chime in on the conversation on on this episode episode thirteen we wanna hear what hell has helped you overcome all or nothing thinking until next time sweet friend keep living and loving in leading like jesus because our god he wants to help us become the people he created us to <music>.
"Good morning good afternoon and good evening wherever you are in the world. I'm James Scofield. The writer of the stories in season. Two of this podcast behind the bottom line. Can I ask you a question? What do you really know about the people you work with? What I've learned is that everybody has an unusual story to tell about themselves. These stories might be funny side or frankly weird and over the years I've turned these people and events into short stories for various magazines in each episode of behind the bottom nine. I read you my original story and afterwards I tell you something about. It's real life background today. Stories called Cyber Romance and should be interesting for anyone who is measure romantic partner online. Cyber Romance. The feeling I got when I finally managed to leave my physical body an upload myself into the Internet with better than anything I'd ever felt before it was like that moment when you dive into water. Suddenly a bodies wait. Listen you can twist and move way you want but I could swim through the entire world the speed of light. That's what I did for awhile. Internet surfing like nobody's ever done before. Of course like any place. There are areas of the web where you shouldn't go if you don't want trouble but I was quick to learn and soon I could travel anywhere. Find out about anybody and and this is the fun part. Do almost anything you see. This networked world makes so much possible the past new controls Internet controls the world. If you don't believe me here are a couple of examples remember when all those laws were passed to stop smoking in public places in Europe. That was me it was so easy. I just sent emails from insurance companies to governments got into big tobacco secrets. Statistics on smoking related deaths diseases and then sent the information to the press. Hey presto it was done and even the French had stopped trying to kill themselves with cigarettes. What about gun control in the US? They said it could happen. But I arranged it and then I gave the FBI the names and addresses of those Doomsday preps who hadn't turned in their weapons when they were supposed to so. I think you'll agree that I've done some pretty cool things. Unfortunately I may have crossed some kind of moral line now. You See. That's the sound like a teenager here but I'm in love and you're allowed to do anything when you're in love right. Her name's Helen. And when I first saw a photo of her on her blog with such a shock to my system that I sent a small wave through the Internet causing a crash on the Nikkei index in large banks to fail anyway one look and I was hooked. I read her post about art which I didn't understand. They just made me feel stupid. But then I realized I didn't have to concern myself with her brain. I could just watch her on. Tv hadn't wax in an art gallery in Manhattan so most of a day spent within range of a security camera somewhere couth. I wanted to be with her at home too so I sent an order from homeland security to the FBI telling them to install cameras around the house while she was out. People might call it stalking. But I think that's too judgmental. I'm into no harm. I just wanted to be with her. And those evenings have flat just the two of us relaxing together on her couch and watching a film this times. I liked best. However I'm a reasonable man. I was happy. Have other people in her life. Okay I admit that I had to get rid of one idiot. Wanted having to go on a date with him and wouldn't take no for an answer. After the third time I took matters into my own digital handsome Organiz the car crash for him. I just changed two sets of traffic lights to green at the same time and Bam problem solved as long as the other men. Friends were gay and the women would like her friend. Ron Seen who created computer based ART. I didn't get involved even if Helen stayed overnight. Francine's place a few times after their girls nights out anyway after about six months I decided we should meet. I created this cool. Avatar for myself with all the best bits from my favorite Film Stars. Plus my personal hero. Steve Jobs then. One day. When Helen was writing her blog I walked into a screen said. Hi Untold Everything about me. She freaked out. I shouldn't have been surprised. I had got this kind of reaction with depressing regularity when I was a physical being to anyway. She smashed a computer found in Torah out to the cameras but she missed ones hidden behind the bathroom mirror and inside the lamp in the Living Room. Then she left the building. I followed her using security cameras on the street and thought about getting the police to bring her back but decided that would just make a hysterical so two weeks. I left her alone until one evening when she sent out a tweet saying she was going online again and want to talk to me. The first thing that surprised me as I activated the cameras was that transition was there and the flat had lots of new computer equipment and several screens. Francine was working at one of the computers and hadn't been standing next to looking as beautiful as always. Is it ready? She asked Francie nodded then started. Good evening ladies. They both jumped about a foot in the ASS is my avatar appeared on all screens. High said Haddon. Thanks for coming. You'll just in time. What's that supposed to me? She smiled and then far away. I felt something at first little scratches at the distant edges of the Internet that were multiplying fast and began to feel like whole being burnt in my memory. My avatar must have shown discomfort. Feel that said Hanan. My girlfriend is doing that to you. Those millions of search and destroy spiders. Hunting you down everywhere on the web spiders. I wasn't sure which was hard to believe that. Helen was a lesbian. Or the frontline had pumped this poisonous code into me then. Helen Lent Ford and kissed. Francine on the mouth. Which made these one thing clear so I decided it was time to leave before on the other side of the Atlantic in hospital in London. The duty nurse picked up a phone Dr King. It's about the coma patient in room ten. Yes that's right. The software engineer. Yes yes well. His his life support systems have just stopped trying any activity. Do you want to call the relatives or shall I? Cyber Romance published in Business Spotlight in two thousand and thirteen the thinking for. It'll the background to the story. You would need to take back to two thousand twelve and I think what you can see here. Is that for the first time? I've become aware really of the power of the Internet and how it affects all of our lives and may surprise everybody listening to this focused in tooth Twenty twenty but for me. This is the time that I became aware of how influential it was so festival. Ezra practical things like for example in two thousand twelve the number of CCTV's per thousand people was something like three times higher in the UK than it was in China and this has changed our country the most CTP thousand people is the s followed by China followed by UK which is still quite surprising considering the size of the population compared to the US will will China there a couple of things that interested me about the potential for the Internet and also remember this was pre two thousand and sixteen and the way that the tech companies like facebook and Google were abused by the Brexit campaign and Donald Trump to manipulate referendums and manipulates elections in the direction they wanted so I took perhaps a slightly rosy optimistic view of the Internet at that time and I think you can see that in the way my protagonist uses the knowledge that he gets by being able to to surf so widely through the Internet he uses the knowledge gains For good and manages to unlock the secrets that big tobacco have hidden away about the number of deaths caused by smoking and managed also to introduce gun control the US which in two thousand nine hundred eighty cents seemed to have moved one step closer. I'm trying to twelve of course with the year of the Sandy Hook massacre in an elementary school in us. I suppose that my thinking was The information is that it's available in the Internet if it was only made public who's any transparent and could do a lot of good now. I'm perhaps a little bit wiser and a little bit more cynical about that but I think this story represents a more positive optimistic view about the Internet. Of course you could say is how the central character behaves in. This is really for how the Internet has in many ways sadly developed and he He use it for good. He then moves onto abusing the power that he's got at this just reflects the old adage power corrupts absolute power corrupts absolutely and also. I suppose what you can also see. Here is the dream of immortality if you were able to upload your consciousness into the Internet. I'm theoretically you could never die or could you. And that's really what I'm doing at the end of the story. I'm leaving it very ambiguous. Is this just a dream from a dying coma patient or is this something that really happened I anyway? I hope if you have any online dating experience it's been a little bit more positive than the experience. Helen had here with this strange character. Who starts stalking her. But I hope that you all enjoy listening to cyber romance today. I'll be back next week with a story called. Video Games which takes a humorous look at the inner workings of the European bureaucracy in Brussels. Please subscribe on spotify Apple Google. Podcast whichever have APP to us to make sure you never miss an episode and tell you friends right an online review right to me directly James Rupert Dot Scofield at gmail.com. Let me know what you think until the next episode of behind the bottom line this is James. Garfield saying goodbye.