20 Episode results for "Laura Laura"

Animation Podcast #130 - Disney Background Artist & YouTube Celebrity Laura Price!

The Bancroft Brothers Animation Podcast

1:17:08 hr | 1 year ago

Animation Podcast #130 - Disney Background Artist & YouTube Celebrity Laura Price!

"All things related hosted by former Disney animators directors and authors. Tom Bancroft and Tony Bancroft. This podcast is sponsored by todd by a pro welcome to the bancroft Brothers Animation podcast this is a show about the past present and future of animation and the price enjoy a Bagel and listen as they discuss how she got to Disney and her social media conquests and now here's the bancroft brothers hello everybody welcome to another bankrupt brothers animation podcast Oh yeah and it's breakfast with the bankruptcy addition and we got leapfrog so don't tell them we have mabel in the booth and she's being so quiet she in your introduction religious matter who I am prices with their Laura Laura Laura Laura yes like Laura on a lot of my video she's always like on the bed laying down behind the and when she's not new video people complain starting right now another breakfast with the bancroft recorded from the Sheridan during day three of light box expo the Brothers Interview Disney background artist and Youtube celebrity lawyer Dan Laura does wonderful youtube videos they're super popular and my students listened to him I know Tom Students world she's very well behaved who's we didn't say well what made no s yeah so mabel is a French bulldog and she is sues a visual development artist works at Disney and other places us all over the place you've seen her all over the place especially on Youtube if you're thanks it scared me but okay so you're listening to six packs that company the beer belly do something nice sorry this is a fun we do the he's whiskey boys today Phil Tree two packs of cigarettes a dollar you like a coffee with that I can get you right craft Lara Bar Craft yes prices with us the lovely and talented. She's a background painter on tangled she's really happened to be here at Breakfast with the lovely Laura Price we did you say we're at C. T. N. no I said we've done it before you're just asking about the time yes she's literally licked my elbow several times already very stimulating though so across he's the storm Yeah it's always wears Mabel especially if I ever go to work without Mabel Mabel tell us art every year we're at lightboxes at Expo we've done it before it CTN but here we're coming to you live from live and recorded from Animation Expo Yeah we both burtless like very early in the morning yes you can you can introduce me to love As like a little puppy I started bringing her and Disney and nobody noticed for three months yeah I put her in my purse a lot of people you guys you guys are next in between you guys Jelly I'm Sukey by him such a dog lover she is so well mannered though I mean if you go to it really helps Tony I've been taking pictures that was me clicking I did it right over the mic on sure everybody heard but because may bills here too s. she got heavier got harder but she popper head out when I was like in the elevator coming up and people would kind of jump back so easily tonight her as she was always in my bag she was tiny she's like the size of a Brita when I got her and she was in my bag and Komo AAA Burrito bulldogs but Yeah eventually I got in trouble with the building mom so I kept having like try to convince them you know I just kind of like large bags or go to the job and then yeah I know and then The operation was Disney was cooler with it then building management they rent the building and sometimes they were there yes yes of course Laura yes you got it you got it I could see it in my head I can't make see that's what I was the meal sales and I say more so keep on coupon coupons wish nepean her I was sneaking her in and I did that for three months before my line producer noticed and then he was like it's fine I love French Sneh I am from the Boonies of Virginia from South West Virginia and there's a lot restaurant with the dog Naples silent I when I first got here north versus south it depends where you're from I'm from the South and it's more Lara there in in the north it's Laura Sell I live in south Tennessee pit bulls American poll bulldogs any sort of I just love I love big dogs but there's there's kind of like rules for apartments around here like against her yeah they just want to sleep and they wanna Lick your face all the time and yes so the two that I've foster they're both but I got away with it wouldn't be like well we let you let everybody every wes oh normal animator once a week probably more office a meters yes breeds restaurants to rumor I've heard a rumor about restaurants but I'm not sure we don't have a dog here so we don't breath cows there there's a lot of farmland very very very small city so you know not on the right I was in regular apple dog that's what I always did a neighbor's kid and yeah the infinite down but they did find some older lady that can take and the girls my wife they all go y'all Elliott dropped the y'all when I moved to California is this milk breath and they had a Chihuahua in the same thing that they they've got it as little puppy Q. and but it turned into a hood but Yeah we rescued dogs we always we grew up with don boxers boxer mixes fostered boxers. So there's obviously there's a lot of people that say that that little pitbull pit bull mystique riders like my mom has told me like why don't you just change the spelling to Elliara and I was like mom you're the one that gave me a I'm gonNA keep it in that people call me Leira so you yes so that's more of a Laura and so it's kind of like a ends adopted her so I can still see her yes so it's really fun that eventually I'm going to have a house and a yard and twenty dogs if possible the bombs like during my panel yesterday but Yeah so I but I managed to I posted online in one of my my first one I fostered her name is Bonnie at she's adorable and I had her for a couple of months and then I my apartment didn't even allow dogs at all so later it's surprising even had it since it was a puppy so yeah that's what scares me because I yeah I all the pit bulls eye fostered they're just they're just lovable little like I was Gonna be in deep so I oh is it I was going to be I knew I was going to be colors right you'd have have that fear at all now you know what I'm scared of Chihuahuas I think they're way more addresses but the coupon I say I feel like that's a dead giveaway Laura out the south in dippers remember tolls Thomas Flower his wife sitting next to them you meet them it's like Oh my God I actually helped you I can't believe that because I started my youtube channel is like just like messing around like having making fun videos for myself US directed tangle Oh yeah the idea of like old friends and meet New People and meets the fans what does it mean for you l. God it means so much this is only my second yeah okay I hate that yes I regret coming no this is like the best time of the year going to these things I you know like you switch jobs so much industry switched to different crew in different companies and you feel like I was like I was on tangled for four years and I miss him aw get allowed to showed up here they're here to party drinking early coming it was like I like one every always tearing up because people were telling me how much I meant to them and I was like you know like you see comments and stuff and you're like that's cool they like my video if I didn't realize they were gonNA affect other people so yeah so meeting people in person it's mental and I love seeing all my friends from the industry trouble in trouble so I was really hard for you I tried really hard to not rob in figured out what I WANNA work in animation 'cause I mean being on the East Coast and everything you don't know these jobs exist I hadn't heard of CAL arts till after I graduated college ah Yes breakfast we can talk about eighteen I was gonna ask you about that too because yeah yeah I was like nobody knows about this so out there so him in the boonies but so ask you since we're here light box and I know you've you showed it to do right what do you think about these expos these Artists Expos Yeah are you always civilized effect that you do yeah you know I when I was growing up to see team for the first time last year and it was overwhelming the amount of people who are like Oh my God you're finally doing an expo so many people are coming to meet me and it was just it was over take on it I believe you worked on it though I did the drivers for it made it look so likely in high school or not yeah well I didn't take yeah I didn't have art classes in high school anyway so it was just like so I the loss Laura's I don't notice still California there ever on the southern accent like my whole family ah yeah some of the drawings were attributed to Glen there actually him though so you know hey with it we're going we're going there and I think you in a way answered that question sounds like your channel he's all about animation history or one eight to answer some tumbler questions and then one of the first videos I made was how to take care of a French bulldog and now is my first very popular video it was very yeah so I like growing up without having that guidance I was like I wanNA provide I wanna like put that information online small so they're like oh it's fine if not a threat to the to society of lovers with Mickey Right you know you must have done more I did like occur to and I did I still get oh she's maples all you can't find this anywhere and I was like once I started working industry I was like I'm just put this information online I was like I was Kinda worried am I gonNA get in trouble is like why does in writing farmers breakfast for everybody wants to Kevin Bacon eggs and some fruit awesome yeah they all split up now a lot of people have gone to tangled tangled the series yes people ask me if I work on the movie and I was like no I was not working in middle school let's say High School Oh oh I love you guys have dad jokes all like they're always I love that I'm so into debt unreal mom but I feel like I can still use it as an mom and dad's yes when we were first married my wife we've been married thirty years what is trying to embarrass you so when I first got married we we go dog right away I suggest this job life when we come to light boxes of this is the first time we get to meet our audience from podcast and we always joke that we have seven listeners faithful is in the industry more transparent now is is are these secrets I I was like Whoa I'm GonNa put it online until I get in trouble and I haven't so I guess people are the Laura has more food than the topic will it didn't use youtube here yes YouTube so it didn't use to be I think one of my first videos I made was when Tuck married couples early in their relationship get a dog together it really brings you together to have something to love together we just just like you the parents love to yes and so yeah so now I even since I moved here I've rescued while not rescue I fostered listeners at but we come here it's overwhelming it's the first time that was really start to see what we're doing has an towels you've already alluded against Tony Right now by Nashville now she's fine with it she's the most flatulent him in it and there's over a million views on it it's one of my top videos still so that's why a lot of people come to my tanner like you're an artist like give me more French bulldog videos Yes apparently I can't wait this looks sues your all your blueberry pancake the apparently there's a guy that must be quite a while so I was getting Oh yeah we got we got the MOM's asking all the questions that we're we just keep we keep tight-lipped for like we have no they've got five years we went without kids for five years five years in we we have our first baby and it was a stark difference yes this is my baby yes this is a real child this is a lot more work you can leave a child alone can with the dog yes listen I know where we say handmade from the heart animate from the Fart oh he can sell it comes up I'm sorry he's a falter you've been putting off getting married because we didn't want people to ask us when we were having kids in the South God gam where are you going with this stuff I'm interested guys WanNa have kids and that's what I'm getting is is you and your husband got another dog increasing yeah we have dogs anyway I do so I just got married couple weeks ago give her a break yeah so we've been yes so we've been together a long time but we finally Oh Yeah Oh yeah there's no pressure there's always so much you know you always worried about like fatiguing clock and everything and like running out of time and so I'm always like armed has at that point right nothing wrong with that way that should take a little let's we still love their dogs that did not end rape but really prioritizes always I'm not a dog daddy join to tie the knot so yeah and and once we got the dog they're like okay when are you going to five years I so I don't know if I'll ever get around to it but yeah I guess it's just not a priority I don't really think about it I feel like I'm still a kid so I'm like Yeah I mean they I feel like they're just so much easier than kids and I can't imagine having a tweet injured so I don't know how you guys do arrived yeah all we have is girl teenagers and twenty year olds about some I'm GonNa ask her some questions that okay you want to probe deeper it has to be a mom because I'm a dog mom I I was like I want people to see the whole title Disney artists follows a Bob Ross to Tori Hof you're good yeah and I felt like a total jerk pudding background and I I assume sooted digitally or did they search traditionally I started traditionally oil painter. I did a lot of bridgestock well you know when you don't get married together for like ten years we've been dating for ten years people just ask winter farmer's actions negative breakout it sounds like you got fired Disney artists I was like I don't like to call myself Disney Ernest but I was like you know I'm GonNa do the Click Bait thing because I want to start following me more see if I can do this title background artists tries to copy Bob Ross Ross right he's even shorter let me just relieve you of that that I have made a career out of being next Disney animators I don't think there's anything wrong with it it's so factual I think there's levels of Disney artists like would you feel comfortable comfortable with your features saying that orange looks pretty good we're in California it's that comes with your take the one that's what I was like when I did my Bob Ross thing I was like oh I really miss like mixing the colors but that was like that's probably the only it started with brillect got into oil and then I got more into wash watercolours to miss keeping because there's so much cleanup digital so much easier to just pick it up and start something new have walked away right disease against be like Feiglin I'm a Disney may be like nine nine on your level Disney ledgers cards well I just took a month and a half off though for my wedding so so I feel like currently I'm on a little hiatus vacation which is nice ooh right yes I mean I'm a Disney artist but shameful using that brand that wasn't here's Yeah Oh yeah I wanna do it but I'm I'm an adult now and I guess people do this now and you just have the lovely may talk you WanNa get like ten dogs part of the legacy legacy and I love your rate I mean you guys are forever the lines and it's a lot more a lot more graphic things going on and for me I was lucky that I got to work on tangled already you can dress it up without it being weird is this Muffin Heidi you want that the difference between says up portfolio Disney television deep future TV shows and feature yet so there's just you mentioned about Ross did a video and I think it's one of the more popular ones to your right that went viral I am I am shocked me yes years in service of the company or something like that yeah I feel like calling a Disney artist like if I was talking to Glen Keane I would you're listening in a backer a background painter or environmental vitamin DARDIS like yourself for years because it was lying list I got to paint full stop it was it was still very graphic style though whereas with teacher myself so it's being what do the whole thing and having nanometre polio instead of just because I have like hundreds hundreds of tangles background folio before telling everyone that I'm back in available for work I'm GONNA go with that tangent that you just brought up yeah I think it's interesting to her to really go next basically I really WanNa work in my feature portfolio so I was like I really want to get to features neck so I'm taking this time to work on my mm-hmm but yeah so when Santa Rainy but yet but I've been freelancing for different shows trying to decide where Wingo I'm doing a lot more rendering I'm going more like her a CD movie as opposed to a Tutti so some people who have worked for of a looking at the work that saying feature films versus looking what's on TV a lot of TV shows have lines and your painting CG TV shows more similar to like a feature portfolio already low. Yeah so I'm kind of just doing more like blue sky kind of work and it just at the moment yes worker then I actually am still working but I'm considering dot com the place on the web to watch art instruction videos by the top prose and comics animation character design and concept art. We certainly more like doing only outs doing my own thumbnail as I just painting someone else's because I love making layoffs myself and I loved doing composition the graphic style it's very beautiful show it's more graph I'm very very specific look very concerned about when you're showing uh-huh somebody told you get rid of all the tangles that's the first thing you need it was like yeah don't like that's all TV's Oh yeah really it's it's the enemy is you don't even have to call yourself xander because you don't like a president right he'll call the next president I say former I always get like kind of like oppose arming like I was like I worked for Disney by I number so that makes me feel better do you think there's skype it's not like I chose off my design skills it just shows my colors spend the other day you you started talking about developing your portfolio for feature polio for quality you know south right but why would we get rid of it all I mean since I leave for the show your show like a I can ask about what I have for breakfast yeah where are you into they say rendering more yes so yes I love rendering like take Nokia layout and in a category I'll be like TV and then here's my stuff visual development yeah shows like other people's stuff but I can also design my own hey so if I hold my my hand that way maybe that Yeah Chabahar what do I literally saw video with they are now he's probably keeping his drawings a lot looser that way to get stuck with the wrist movements in their career geeky now out about nine and he holds his hand weirdest but I was so fascinated by being asked myself I caught up in the detail he he has I've been yet but I feel like now that I'm in town this week I'm like that's what I'm going to start doing next week before I have to go back to work no like that's a good thing to do okay yeah they like watching it it's a little bit of pressure to like not having a camera on you like every little thing they critique there. CBS listening comfortable Yup I have students that do that some of the left hand radical uh-huh taken Ivan Ivan Earl influence or will be drawn layout yeah and bring into Color Kyo have you done that kind of an exercise it's like maybe that's my should try and that's what it's like Oh yeah that's the secret to his brilliant people think online is like oh well now I had to away your city is wrong and like okay well maybe I won't feel myself next signed but that's like one person everyone is super nice it's like ninety nine percents badly they were so valley and not just you and you personally but that Disney artists they wanna get to that point and they're thinking got fist is not holding the pencil somehow gets that Pencil in a fist and starts drawing this looks like a Caveman art eight others just Leonard Right handed no yeah we're right having I'm a lefty own better I should try left-hand breads the comments so nice oh encouraging they're so great and then of course there's like the one percent viewers are scrutinizing Kosei you see I have I mean they say that it's your right side here your brain does your creativity and things like that and it's reverse to your hand `these no university of Virginia it's very nerdy because they did life and a j Scott Campbell probably learnt you know picked up a pencil that way teachers probably got him about how he did it but it was already too late is here at white box expo just got Campbell Campbell he's showing here and I saw video the day of him so do you think romantically connected somehow I think that since we met in college our school has a very high percentage of less it was first psychology was probably the psychology department but they talked about how I think I learned that my psychology class it was like there's a lot of Nina I'm always sometimes I start drawing and I'm like well I don't really have a video this week so I'm just GonNa film myself and that's kind of interim like I'm just going to kill myself drawing now creative people to go there I guess I mean that was my dream school from when I was little I was like I have to get in there like I took like eight AP courses the land one in ninth grade or something and didn't get along with the teacher you know I was always the path was going to be but we I just did art on my own though I wasn't really post online I guess I I started with Neo pets which have you heard of neo pets I started that I like eleven years old I was like Oh God yeah strongly suggesting now become a video would you make that sort of great trying to get a two for out of this yes it's the controls your yeah so supposedly license is also left-handed no he doesn't draw at all adding a box then how did you get to that how did you call in during college right so I was I was in middle school it was a big deal for your parents to purchase for you yes Loris going to be an artist right is drawing since I was like I don't know when as soon as they can hold pencil I've been I was like I'm going to be an artist so it was telling everyone I was an art major in college like I knew what my Korea back up into that because you didn't take ours is still ripe yeah there weren't art classes where I'm from yes neo pets it's this this created really yeah okay yes if you guys seamounts dot com that's that actually asker but there is some really big artists you worked for them and I was like what so I have to ask met several people that said Oh yeah and it was for right handed people so I had to cover half of it with tape because you couldn't turn off the scroll wheel I would be drawing and zoom in I have to get all my ap courses and get into Uva so it's funny everyone like talking about art spoil it was like oh I I didn't really consider anything eighty percent off and so we're still happened but then I was like oh I'll teach myself photoshop and college and that's when I was like really got into going digital or thing must have been like oh I gotta try that we're doing all kinds of like very pixel leave character designs but when Dan very like why are you still lying always kind of messing around in class and she would send me out of class and I had to sit in the hall did Santa Report Card she talks to me like the Ernie knew I was going to be an artist there were like you're always getting like Oh God it was the little tablet it was like seventy I think it was the small the lead company actually gave a lot of character designers there start because they had pretty cure our Hummel who I I might be misquoting I'm GonNa have to because the peace of God when I first started using I was like this is so stupid it doesn't work like a pencil and I would like always grow it down I just wanted to use raise it was it was total visual development prod like project making them websites yeah those were getting paid for those right Fisher snap talk I was probably being obnoxious I was always making fun of everything and I WANNA do. I didn't like the assignments I want do this stupid i WanNa do something more this God wasn't even greeted drawing but I was like I wanted to do something more created like these assignments are so like I felt like into like painting I didn't get that till like Photoshop I just wanted to clarify you guys are talking a lot and I finished accident you don't be afraid to on the side I was doing digital art then with my mouse with neo pets or anything no air tabloid where do you live where you Outta oh here in you know go to national time nationally it was covered in tape and I use that for ten years look I got was that did you feel like a professional now drove designing and that's when I got on Neo pets I was like oh I have all these neo pets and I designed then I give them backstory in a personal project advisory so it's come into us three and might have been like over a hundred over one hundred I think this long legged yeah I was like I think seventy now the really small ones it was one of those tiny one mandy are like you know something clicked in my mind I was like it's it's kind of like oil painting I was like okay I can do this like traditional dating so your new pepper he's before you speak Tom Saving my Pancakes Burgers K. Don talker backdrop. It's his his lumberjack step rate missile and then I would go back and try again I didn't actually learn photoshop or anything 'til colleges like oh I'm Gonna I'm GonNa get hurt his photo shop with my student discounts ask on our podcast recording right down to oh you're eating it's being the little girl family are also on it could be like yeah you like see artists you know like what we'll know because we do this at all so you're bad to reach everyone yeah people walking around yesterday saying that they were hot and I'm like I feel fine I don't know what you're talking to it's pretty loud in there I I noticed I like yelling at people at the expo because a half to pray leading in Yeah I've heard the other conventions thanks perfect yeah he just lost my voices I'm chronic on all three in two days ago I was on fire all day I feel like I've learned a lot like what I want to improve upon but to be able to yeah if not sweaty oils herself and listen over that was like these are just do that for me it's been awesome it's the first after so many commissions as I normally would because I just wanted to I I have to leave today have to fly out so I just wanted to be able to kind of be able to walk and I only did about half eh totally remember or your love of the lumberjack I'm not sure where it hasn't been revealed yet onto lightbulbs and I'm not sure but life is bigger wider more space will tire ceilings so goes I got Tom Booth amazing artists I turned our unfortunately yeah but still I got at least kind of walk around a little bit you know if I don't he lives here it's like it's weird if woodworker to fit in this town breakfast debate across by and so people are always walking up and saying I are whatever is this part of the podcast waitresses a guest stars Tansy the big walls silence reverberating C. Take Tighter space it is screaming if you leave your hardest to walk around naked money anymore so it all Friday I was only at our really yes so many people that lumberjack stuff and all of a sudden I saw an image from instagram my head coach I was like Oh my gosh I got this deep perspective a sudden guests people say oh that's nice yeah I did the same thing I kind of like I didn't I took it oh yeah only one I used it I used to never put up any images of myself ever so no one knew it looked like which was Kinda nice start by this because I did the social media where I was like you'd be thinking is coming up here ninety podcast again yeah it's hard to recognize what people look like isn't it I mean don't you actually do it you can't not right I can actually like condition a youtube channel I used to only post are nobody knew what I look like and when I would post a Selfie I lost two thousand followers it was blake show the we are here for your art we don't care about you made very clear to me you know we have analytics stuff so I look at it Kim do social media like full time you know there are certain people you for now that are okay with being like photos services yeah yeah she's right by the I I wanNA see which ones are working with rain yeah yes on instagram and so yeah I wish they had a like a yeah well studio pictures usually do pretty well but anyway April where mad or something like that yeah just drops drastically right I talked about this yesterday on right Mr Photo me and I lose followers and all life's number seriously a photo and I will say it's not just me could even be whatever the studio so Ross was on social media one and so was ill or bluish I said yeah I feel like all panel here on Friday which you should have been on by the way but I wasn't invited that actually was right yeah Ross right now I will say you guys are pretty and your of all Kale and it's a good fit and I think Tom Symbol of better yeah I'm GonNa Geek out on the podcast once you I didn't know who he was until you said Oh we the tonight he'll create tally Disney's idea give our Disney's yeah crazy leaders to know the guy that you can't buy love your work taste like if I wanted to talk to someone to get a feature job maybe I'd go my instrument archive some of the tangled so it's not just all TV stuff or if I My old art post like me and I just hate that one now I might archive at I try to keep everything kept up on my tumbler but further instagram even even though in the analytics I love all that stuff it's interesting it says like what's the top time post rightly when my followers on a day it's like they're mostly they're right at twelve eight hundred on the analytic actually probably check that out but I ignore it MM staff I'll go through and I was like that's the dumbest thing ever why do they tweet that three years ago on a whole tweet accidental on it I guess you planning I wanna I wanNA know but I'm not a delete our youth leader de where you archive I go to like Dan I don't know that much because like I haven't ever posted that much on instagram so it's like a new option so it hides it doesn't want them to just they wanna put standing because anybody with other pro they all have their he's the only one it ended up changing his name might be like people don't know his name Stanley Liu so it's like he really wants to have that ensured enough I had Olympic where it's like host the talk now but I'd love to see the worst because that would you learn more the Stanley Lou germ lou actually called Him Stanley said I'm Archer corrected me yeah seriously I know take a cigarette ladies twenty years maybe but he does go irt term known by Archer China prefers and he's converse Reduc- and I just won't I can't wait till three PM today all right yeah it's GonNa work in your schedule I slash followers all over the world so he never l. like how old are they you know what maybe an anonymous to make an one was I felt I felt relieved his he's got a million wanted to I don't know but I use my professional portfolio for that so I don't know in what case that would be helpful except for maybe all I'd want to archive if there's like a photo of me talking about generalities of just social most of this specific were about instagram because that seems to be the winner the people actually and yet he does known as Archer multi well no I think he started that when he was young he said Dvr I was just a kid everybody real name yeah security thing and that's dropped off nobody really does it as much anymore as I used to never put my last which was fast underrated really dug into that he's doing 'cause remember early evening art and just early Internet right this that the're went out really quickly with all parents say yes the kids you can't use win who's going to be awake Keno Times there's no doubt but right you know it was interesting because I who also in that town was archer gene I don't want if I wanted to be all art archive it but yeah I guess they don't have enough post on instagram I delete old tweets supposed to picture of me with a friend or even have a picture of you know my family and I'll just play the game yeah so you're just like where's Lulu but a lot of people always said my name wrong so I was like Lulu is fine okay Laura so I that off the Internet yeah from the DVR gays actually is now doing professional work well he brand it has to do with him one in Bruce Wayne secret identity and maybe he wants to be more anonymous he didn't say don't always this art Germans as are female so you know anyway what relieved me about Stanford Art Journal About Archer viewed very much admitted name anywhere either yeah yeah how did you become loose sketches yeah so was taken so I got loose get I'm not sure I have it written down he has a lot of farmers this idea students care about I guess right yeah no I've done by Lulu from Lake kindergarten through high school through college Stanley art in quotes that's fine but you have archer I've never seen anybody that's lead so heavily into the brain that it's like truly a lot of people I grew up with like didn't even know I mean the people I went to high school with no but a lot of people in college my real name was Laura they could never find me on facebook by any it still keeps it safe so if you wanNA bring it back later you just go to that post you can remember if I was community that you were really tight knit with zad tight knit with them because he's got enough. DC COVERS OUR GOTCHA super cool. I'm from the booties I met a couple Oh yes yes you said it Mike Proud at the Franklin Tennessee's is kind of a it's become kind of a Yuppie it's one of the Rhino it's pretty expensive area now but it's kids I went to preschool with because it was like eighty kids very small towns yeah but that's kind of cool to wasn't a nice to have lag on their trucks and stuff so I was like I try not to associate you know yeah but yeah there yeah redneck community it's fine in a in college I tried to change it in high school the law and it didn't work so it was like it's fine and went to high school at the same they all yeah almost all the people did multiple things on facebook twitter instagram but primarily what we're talking I feel like I do a little shoutout to Stanley Art Art Germ Lou and to say we just talked quite a bit we love you love to have you on the podcast and tell us why sorry I just I just WanNa be me right and yes I know that my followers only drawings and so it's like the ninety percent at least actually for a fifth of her country is what follows her while she looks like and nobody she's living Aarp route country people were the Cammo to school the school to do that but in that campaign kids the have they could find half a million and he's I think from Hong Kong the second point I wanted to make and this was about like posting selby's things like that Kareem San people from the countryside that's part of the school district so there's a few that come in I need I said it wrong every single time and nobody's ever seen what she looks like in the things and wearing Cammo we'd be right right and we have a little bit and now Virginia Yeah she was she would talk it wasn't like she was very shy and very very much an introvert but one of the things that made her this interesting because she didn't want US attacked her and post who took photos afterward realized wants to keep it that way yeah very and she has a billion followers Gil background yeah I could do yeah that used to be what they did for back office says features they give them a test it was sleeping beauty this look up stand the he has said almost a million it's five hundred eighty two thousand followers on I believe so it is over the books you're doing what you're doing with your social media so funny guy to curious then he totally I'm glad you brought back around sitting right finished my second point but Ooh this infinity been only has five and a half million people in them they don't know I mean there's so I get saved pull really WanNa know what you looked like right and that's a question I have for anybody that saw I personally like it Stanley Org Hey Cola Cola yeah I call on icon inculcated with a wave join them fees We had the opposite side I mean he told me to say takeoff and find out like how long is doing grandma and things like that I think it's been awhile since she was probably early adopter I have a question or even and he had this but it's interesting to me and I'm saying this for our listeners really set rule yeah always this always it was video tutorial videos and so which is ironic but it's just your hand so I think that feeds into right I really don't Istat quote great youtuber met him once you're talking about him okay when I say that I saw him one okay super talented you know how to communicate well to your audience because you're real and that's what I love about your videos that's what my students about you McCowan rate but he's very much about showing himself yeah he said fifty fifty with person showing personality and Art Vertebral talking about your anxiety for example like that yeah when I think when I had less followers I was more comfortable like starting at I mean when I was on Tumbler at I never put images of myself online or anything and back to the like putting images of yourself and yeah just looking guy has a great dog he's dog lover dog and his videos and things and he's very much about people out there and I get comments and there's a lot of really needed people out there too I get so many comments about my ugly face like okay I got it oh I remember I hit like one hundred thousand dollars on there before I even was like okay I'll make videos like this is what I look like and then because I was always worried I was like I'm a young girl I'm worried somebody's GonNa come running attack you know and even since I it's nice being able to like connect with people online but with that there's a lot of like crazy who and why people come up to you at this convention and are thanking you and crying really real and I love that can use a little bit about Mike Do you feel so I think for certain people I will say it's the pretty people you know take him get away with that that's probably why it doesn't work for Tony they get away with or even people would be interested in seeing what you look like hearing your because also like you like you is a very good speaker doc every thanks it's pretty average but I yeah but it's so there's that fear there that also contributes more to the anxiety putting myself online I don't like hearing my voice I even editing videos I hate my face like in this for the content they're here for the art I need a Scott so I I it's like the way you look is the least interesting thing about you where it should be and so I that's a Casey online but then as I've grown more followers because I was like I remember one of my first videos was talking about my art journey and I was like I I talked about ninety there and a lot of people like connect with that this point I feel like our I won't make a video just about anxiety because a lot of youtubers have and so it's kind of seen as like oh they're making their legs talk to me entertainment I want to pull this back to you too is that you are yes you're lovely lovely lady and all that but more than that Oregon and something that's her bark so quiet I know she's like she's good yeah I think when I was video grab followers and the surprise just like you yeah but but the reason so much like but I believe them now having to go outside so yeah so I was much more anxious when I first started like making the video's filming I was always shaking sweating like they were like and I was like I can make a video on just anxiety but as you grow more fallers you're like oh well I don't want people to feel sorry for me that's all have to turn off the cameras sometimes try another day his even having the camera on me I get nervous every time I shake every time that I have to make video showed best friends staged yeah I so now I got more used to it opening up because it's like so many people are you tears because they just sit in their room anxious and then they're like I'll make a video yeah so it's like it's gone live it's really helped with public speaking but yeah but it's cool to connect with other people as like they they're like having anxiety to like totally feel this art a lot of pe- artists have have issues like that like you know like mental health because a lot of times you're in your room and you're like I'm just drawing by myself because I have anxiety ears so easy for them and they think yeah just saying that occasional you say this happened sneezing artists out here and I want to be on a production I really love so I'm going to work towards that you know it's it's a as an artist you're earlier you were just talking about how you're developing your portfolio yes it get into features Schrepfer were shocked to hear that he knows anything okay they said my favorite one is the one I'm painting at home right now because I like something till I post it and then I'm like and then seeing it over and over I'm like maybe this isn't so good satisfying yes or make it look like I don't want people to think I'm just going for like a followers grab like like I haven't like once this ad like my hair looks bad here like stupid stuff desert now wait leaked again I know I'm an I'm saying way with follow and everything like that so I get it one hundred percent the you know it's easy to come off especially when you're popular have

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Animation Podcast 137 - CTN Social Media All Together

The Bancroft Brothers Animation Podcast

58:38 min | 1 year ago

Animation Podcast 137 - CTN Social Media All Together

"Welcome to the BANCROFT brothers animation. podcast this is a show about the past present and future of animation and all things related hosted by former Disney animators directors and authors. Tom Bancroft and Tony Benn brought. This podcast is sponsored by todd by a pro dot com. The place on the web to watch art instruction videos by the top pros in comics animation character design and concept art and this episode from CTN Animation Expo Two Thousand Nineteen Los Hermanos Bancroft interview prominent artists and social media. Laura brower with one and a half million followers I in Lyon Lopez with over a million followers they deep dive into how they became known online and ways to use social media to make a living as an artist. Learn earn from these pros some ways you can improve your presence online and now here's the Bancroft brothers. The same joke. I think who listened to the podcast raise your hand. I see about two people the listeners at all we are at CDN animation expo. Right now at Saturday night and we're here doing a live podcast light. Let's hear it again for the live audience. This is Tom Bancroft. We're excited to be here specifically talking with two very special young ladies about their careers as artists social media so Let's do this again. I'M GONNA I'M GONNA say your name we're GonNa try this okay. Can I try this of course yet. Okay so because I have a card we serve with you. OUGHTA Asia Hausky scaring the dust and marshalled. OUTSCA is with US tonight. In the we have Laura Laura Laura lower upper hours anyway no whereas Serene Sarah get every very single one of those words wrong. Yeah you're GONNA do it. Got Your name as we are here tonight. Talking about what how to boost your career as an artist using social media and I think you were saying earlier. You have many followers over one million one million on Instagram Laura Laura in one and a half million twitter sites about one hundred seventy thousand followers pat cheer the law for the mentioned the twitter pants. I mean some of those same people oriented soon that it should be to be a front. How many do you have? Oh Gee I wasn't ready for this. Gets three hundred ten thousand no. We don't active press shared a million a million happy. I will say Tony Got. Let's it's just move on time. I think I'm up to seventy two thousand two thousand. I mean it's cute I really. I love my followers though. So I think my cute little herbal fam- you guys have an army small. I mean we can still enter a countries. Iceland has like four hundred thousand people. You CAN SPIRA era. I really get him get organized to something but you feel change the world yeah. It's kind of an interesting thing isn't it. Have you ever thought about mobilizing. Your followers are happy. Mobilized your followers very specific way by calling them out to do something it kickstarter or anything else. We always do some sort of challenges. Like Jonah's and your style or kick starters writers or you had a really successful kickstarter for your book. Rake Bush student. I I lost my book and kick starter and those seeing my followers following an action when I'm campaign funded in a few hours really touched and impressed by that most really impressive. Have you done this book. But I worked Make make a little bit of peaky though but mm-hmm yeah. I had a chance of me so I got to them. And they didn't have the nerve wrecking massive being yet yea. I'm sure like when you live your refreshing cost. It wasn't even year-ending people in addition kick-started at people. That do it for you. That's the lesson here in Mesa us so tickets back a little bit a on a little bit more about your careers got into your art okay. At it may be similar to what you're you're saying that some influence with lower lower or a little bit I wanna hear. How did you get into drawing painting realize digital all the Wasn't a digital artist. To begin with I I mean every rage rouses winner kid and tries to copy of that they like especially if you're already inclined to like or tunes and stuff like that. That's what drives you to come and artist cartoons really really. Yeah yeah so it was more pretty snowflake weeks clo- which it's really the two thousand dollars. Berries and stuff. Yeah I kind of the Disney ruined of course we we did. We made it. We know how to take. This is like I started copying I also show media. There's so many people like peers that are like sort of like any classroom where you draw together you compare yourself. That's what happened searching media on Tom. An ethical pagey world and on hives riches completely annoy existed anymore. Right now yeah. It was very much into smaller communities windows windows absolutely full court do go in. I just meant to instagram. To seeing touched. This happened he was pretty early on it scrapped. Though I mean it was like how long was around the Greek. I think I started in one of the first year so something like that when there were no. DM's when people still it was just a part of the discounts. Wait a second. Hopefully that's not too too hard to Iraq What about giving art were you early on that to not letting lot of what I know to Salona? DVR PEOPLE GOT following. There then moved into instrument. Your on demand I was I was trying different style biden when I started fresh All social media started. No one is growing something. I haven't done before car. You can tell anybody from my old followers handle moving away from why you didn't like this people really wanted to build a community into my new stuff. So drank hyper realistically at the beginning. But I wanted to build Manga community and people who draw cartoons actors so that something completely different and those two are not say some some people may not like my new stuff and I did one. I wanted to go to community not just people to follow me leave for whatever I draw. I wanted to communicate with people to to grow with them together. Alleged drag everybody along the journey if they wanna go transitioning into thanks Can Be quite difficult. A lot of people who I know the do social media don't even do stuff like the art of just logging and all that sort of stuff changing their life alongside with decision we get can be really difficult offense. They're very leery Deviant artless kind of a popular for me but paid you wrote was really where it was up for closer community. I felt like I got actual friends from a stool meet. People are conventions now for like. Oh wait we rented like you. It's cool but even have you heard. I felt like always intimidated me. I felt like that was one of the first set. Really focus more on the technical stuff and like you know how to pose in which category to push it. What time of day? And I didn't like that I just wanted it to be more. Organic can more about the social aspect will and not to jump ahead too much but since you mentioned that. Are you careful about that now. Instagram like knowing when the hot time. Suppose Star in doing that yet. You kind of have to be traveling across across the world in Lincoln nine different so I'm kinda flake a try to keep it consistent so that sometimes you finish the drawing it three of you just WanNa posted. Did you can't be too often to Zia. Shot Shot Finding out the podcast. We'll get there. Yeah remember my name they will. You haven't met we'll never get it but So you told us a minute ago that you were influenced by. Sorry yes I was. I was funding rather with everybody at school told me and people that drive to vocals my career and something. I didn't WanNa do so when it was younger. They said Oh. Don't do. The stations reminded. There's no money in it. You have to be designing and every step of the way it was just forced to have to be a designer. I went to study graphic communications the station and they tried to push through my mind got projects and it was a total. No matter how do we have to do editor station and do design with it as well because has does where the money is so I became a designer. I went to job and I burnt out of the three years with. What's in there for me? And they tried to start ovarian histogram is like okay. I'm I'm doing my work. I sort of had a stable income and I started doing healthy drinks so pretty much started from zero zero doing every day. Something the simple as a face and two is inherent and it took me two three hours but I started from that kept consistent drying every day. Eventually I posted on on this for the first time and I tried to keep it consistent to people who you didn't before that's how I started because lower was there because Elliott Christina was there as you grow your following in search of Lake like a rapid title is what new was home team on four years yet. 'cause I was GonNa say I feel like my play slowly gains for years to be the billion followers forty years really determined. I I think for two two years I slept on big to three hours a day job and then I had this passion for drying and posting every day and learning something new and getting pushing through during taking in eight topers mayonnaise and whatever other challenges slice option is that you were very open about. I want to grow as an artist and a Part of your comments. We'd explaining that story in talking about that. I was always like always struggled here with proportions so much. This took me so much time and then I started making my more conflicts. I always concerned with my father's farmers how struggled with a piece along the way so the money I'm made an amazing piece. Never GonNa Tell Anybody took me twenty. Four hours is Always trade how struggled in what I land in. The process of being that vulnerability is key for both you guys right building. The followers is that hearing from Osha. Quite a bit here to you. Laura sounds like again really allowing yourself to grow as an artist while you're posting every day including your audience in that growth and probably I believe admitting when you make mistakes or things that you don't like so much you feel like a big part of the growth of your followers to the numbers. If you don't mention yourself they're still wanting to come Festival laying out the million plus. Okay Yeah it's a lot of me too. I feel like I'm also keeping your work on line has been really beneficial for me people. We'll find seeing that growth really interesting 'cause you know when you see your artwork. It's make onus really awesome but how they get their you know Roseau not on the like. Oh I did this ten years ago. Only really good because people do that redrawing which is kind of like fun viral and they do on social media. I feel like make drawings from three years ago for the interesting to look at. It'll for means like what did you make them. That's like right. We showing images of something you did at the two thousand ten or something that next to some any also. I didn't like months where it was raining. Ten Twenty Fourteen to sixteen twenty nine to save draw through yet so evolve multiple stages because you go through so many things. I was going to go back really quickly to Mason early because you were talking about being forced to go to like designing investors stuff immediately. I thought to myself this seems Euro being as well it really depends very from I'm if your country doesn't really have a lot of his here in Burbank. In the United States to industries Schools are readily available to be teaching you animation mation cartoons and stuff that just doesn't exist as march in like smaller countries wrote. Everybody goes to Paris. There's like some animation courses in honors. Yeah exactly. It's like four hours from the Netherlands. It's not too bad but you have to go to different integrity speaking different language which which is a huge barrier to get into a makeshift word specific. Did you ever consider that was their point where he thought. Maybe I'd go on. Maybe I want to go more animation at. Fortunately I wasn't able to go to school so I will tell. After my first year high school bound for most of my teenage cheers and then I immediately went into a welfare for you know pennekamp reasons. It's really something that yeah. I got some volunteer to your work is to keep busy and it allowed me to put time into art. And then they were like Oh wait you connection with Medicare of this and I started off like that so oh of course considered going into school without a paper where without graduating high school. You don't allow to move onto education in the Netherlands and so that's quite sad but I think that's an interesting to me is now just to be clear your throat saying yourself time basically right yeah and I see that all the time with the people that are a lot have a lot of followers is that it seems to be a semi common story of like I started did not so great and I kinda showed everybody might progress for years in and got to where I am now and but took everybody on that journey and I don't there's some loyalty there. I think that you get from followers. They've traveled that they didn't cheer you on your also your cheering them. All I know you guys are both highly interactive with your Septa actress about that. How how do you support the people that follow you and especially the artists right? The fall you in her cassette killick. Just talking to be individually can be difficult if you're Writing following yes. I think being responsive responsive in comments can be quite useful doing. She's and stuff but also events like this because you said like the traveled a journey with you over the years with your developing your sal. You're working your skills I think. Sometimes they travel literally because sometimes people conventions in Europe and then are like in one country negoti different countries. Here's well so now we get to each other here as well. A your is entity methods from before you know before you as the other dose go and so. I don't know it said interesting. I always kind of intuitively but I think that people are also looking from us Process steps are restrictions which which we show online so they this was this cash and then what was the next process they all. We blocked the colors in there. And then the next next that we put the shadow of in there and then the next step like some filters and signal Elon joke noise adding noise and disagreement Is Really Lame. You're really in the audience into your process to specific pieces. That's really nice. Stunning new reading ear to share. How do we get there? What did we learn and maybe somebody out there? There's definitely one person in the million that will get the get something by a lot of it is also what people say you mentioned through senior citizens in seeing how far you've come in a lot of their like are forty five years and it's nice to see how like how you're traveling these conventions stomach. I think that a lot of people here from the US have been following me before. I was even going to conventions in Europe so I can't believe you're here so yeah I'm here for both. You guys is that you you both started just posting and it was very frank and open but also it sounds. Oh you're very tenacious about learning yourselves in so you're posting because you WANNA do something. Every day you grow as artists and then served point. There must have bed. God excited by your audience. That seeing these posts there was there a point where he felt like. I have to get something out today so I could posted did as opposed to hangs over. There's a responsibility at some point. Where you it's like I have? You know a hundred two hundred thousand followers. I have responsibility. GotTa get something out as opposed to it started. It was like I want to get something out because because I'm learning and I'm excited at some point there must be change right at some point tour for me but I stopped doing it because I was like I can like these. These people Necessarily building I need to reach people I feel like I. I always say to people that. Don't worry to be because I feel like searching unhealthy might or this kind of like cultivated along years like the and what's it called. Somebody really good description on twitter a while ago. They meant like this couple of artists in a room all day. Like drawing in this life work. I think there's more to life than drawing and if as well also get to do so many cool things from social media because media bishop enjoy that unlike enjoy travelling in Houston post pretty much every single data posted in the patient's stressed out as anybody. The only wants to try something is not. It's not good enough. They radiate. Hey it should be weekly only having to siren anymore like right and like we'll get worried about there's internet gossip going heart attack. I mean it is a little bit of a drug because humans to and we know that this is just this evil whisper have that we need to get over it and they okay you just human. You don't have to no pressure. Nobody's forcing you. Just take care of yourself. I mean Hell you have to do like you can be consistent inconsistent like if you wanna like start than audiences role in if you WANNA get serious this process of growth if you are after growth on this ago. It doesn't for them to be active there because you can. It'd be amazing. Itesan just post once a month or two months in lake. It's GONNA get lost in such a fast pace media. You will look at the image of one one second double tavern. The next is completely separate. Job Will be organised which I can only imagine you guys have been through as complete transition transition for me to speak to guessing influencing. Yeah Yeah I've got me a little bit to one. It's just tomase people. Follow us because yeah we're to bald bald old white guys. I enjoy the damn thing outfitted the day. Yeah I heard about what what was it. Hashtag O. D. Right. Not He did. I share it right. Yeah because you automated. You're leaving as you entered my. Okay so thank you. I don't even know what you're talking about. A little girl. Seventy thousands of over to say you don't get over anyway doing stuff like that where you share share your personality as well do something unique outfit of the day thing really got me a letter. And that's what I was GonNa ask you bring it up is it. I gotta discover over to you to some degree through your fashion and not fashionable person. So I don't know why but I really liked that you guys though this about alright thank you do. I'm sure that you for years right. Have always sort of posted. Drawings of this is what I hear outfit of the day. It's drawing a rank today and your fashionable all about it as like in character design. That's one of mine acids. I think the fact that I always like I was smoking or awesome Early this weekend just go shopping rare characters online. Like if you can't afford the shoes draw the shoes that's what I do. But the has to kind of fill the gaps. Like you're saying and you tell me if this is true of you also about the fashion side but you guys instagram stories. I noticed that both of you travel a lot. Ought to and we can talk about that in a minute but I. I assume that sort of filling that gap like post a drawing today. But maybe I'll do this story about what I'm doing right now on traveling or your fashion or supporting obese together. I mean ready to leapfrog inventions. We were constantly exploring and like people are like. Oh my the other artists. It's important for for the people that follow us to think they see our community as one thing together and then they wanna be part finding this community to this very that you guys can post pictures of yourself and get more followers win. Tell you we post overnight. I can't sexual goatee lookout favourite. You gotta play that Cardigan Acidic. But I would say for you guys what I've noticed. Is that These turnout I would think this is a good general note about building. Followers hours on social media is that at the beginning it is about Arar Post. Postpones are are are. Don't do a lot of personal photos at first but then there's got to be a switching point where you guys have become personalities you guys have become People that they do want to see they want to see what you're doing when utensils you use utensils insult our supplies is maybe for. I don't know but yeah how you eat your food. Whatever they want to start to see that stuff? Did you notice that like what was the turning point for you guys there. We like it is becoming more about the announcement said that but made it clear she said at one point right. It's brand grant read yet. Let's use that term. I feel like it's my job. Sarah is curate. Art in a very specific type hyper drawing. Because I know people want to see it is like an artiste if that makes sense I don't make work that has a function or like ah message in there. Of course you have to be sort of. I think I don't know if there's something I can. At least share. Sometimes Times a raised controversy. Retrain enjoy It's good it's could discern compensation but I'm a designer Do stuff to make it. Look at any other people's stories. Look if that makes sense so I tweet siren as job. I know what works for that if I do work for myself doesn't fit on that and it's recycling for her sentence is sometimes seem case. Laura ever on a cigarette I do I. I drive my personal account and a lot of stuff about what video games with the food. They're even mckesson. My catlin viral too. So I think it's something in the water if we go by. Yeah Yeah but I was GONNA ask you get A. That's okay back that up so like tell us about you. And what point was it that tipping point of like. Wait a SEC. I have to think about branding I have to think about Shokhin. Should mean that GONNA stop. I usually pictures however there was this plant where instagram introduced instagram ago story. So they can media financial after twenty four hours they okay and they started visiting some pictures of my work on showing how how unhappy in my job so they go again at this computer everyday to say every day in the same job editing Sunday and they started. Drying small comics makes on sticking us. Our all board again overslept again. Like I drove the car to overslept to recognize. It became my life Arts because I take my life into school so there is this. There's also this kind of border where where I didn't want to share sending stuff. 'cause there's certain privacy they just WanNa keep so bethany when stuff was has colorful to me with just vanished from Anything personal unlike. I prefer just to some quiet time but we will keep asking they just want to know some why about you and so the message is always getting to us not only about art but about normal day of what do we do for a living ARD DUMMY DO. I criticize very eaten in an accident. Stories docking chest. The craziest thing that happened to me in some people org agree with this. I'm sure is that I went. I have an affinity for Bacon. Okay I love meat and some guy all alright so I went to the grocery store or the market whatever you call it right and I took a picture of the of the Bacon and I was just like I could stand your all day because I was and I posted that I lost followers. I had the worst comments that were just like. I can't believe he posted this so suspended. I'm unfaltering fall human. I was shocked by that. I just did not see that coming supermarket and asking people to take the meat down from the display like. Don't you just walk by when you go to the grocery store. Why can't you just scroll by a might know following? You loved it I it just like do you want followers around. If they don't WANNA fully risk. I wanted to ask you guys both actually too if you could respond to this wizard time. Or let's say now is there are those times where you're affected by the amount of likes so see post something. Are you really kind of obsessive now about the likes like oh it only got this many lives twenty four thousand or whatever it is and Oh this we got this. It's certainly as a gauge. I would think so you know what I should post or post to get more likes more followers but does it get obsessive about mcfaul You're saying like where you delete it. Maybe you get very many think he would probably do that but I think I think I know some people today thing really working in speaker it's opium use electrical now Atkinson. Yes but it can. It can't get obsessive but you realize certain quotas that is of course gonNA get more license original character because people don't know it they can associate their lives than they don't make necessarily the carton that you drew so there's this balance but when you go past ask the there is a lot of obstacles posting nine and trying to gain career in line but when you go past it then it gets easy then it doesn't affect it but at the beginning it definitely affects how you feel about your own and then you try something new and it has less likely only be a shouldn't do it. But if you go in and do it and get better at it than it's your success. Do you ever get link the because I get into like is my time on instagram. Over a little bit less sometimes it goes up again like take many factors if we traveled to than instagram season. Or maybe someone star is hacked and then they knock it down his cigarette. Ninety people see it so it's something beyond us if we just know it and if we understand if we just acknowledge this by that it's not up to ask how many likes the this is just a number and then they were tragedy in some crunchy and then they can count on. We need to who I can manage that this is just in Still doing our massive is still the same person or better than we were yesterday. We we all want to acknowledge dollars the fact that and I think the support variety it's too we should were so much more than our followers or the mountain. Were followers right. We all have equal value. You know we're not more important because we have more value or followers right. I mean that's a message that's important thing to get out there but I will ask because you have been followers. Do what has changed in your life. How has that helped you in your house as a help to new career to have that kinda fallen off it? It has definitely changed my life. Because I feel empowered encouraged as I said everybody through my life that I met in the night you should. It's it's cute but you shouldn't do it. There is no money in go. Change your direction become businessperson. Go become a doctor that go study accounting or or something and then Online these days this year where this is so fun I wanted to do. And it's so encouraging in this is such an important thing says they not only. Oh there's this nice and we get depressed all those they so somebody come into sending that we get the press bridge there is this ray of Flanders blessing in followers. That they empower Brendan Courage us to do what we do. And then we managed to make it a carrier so I managed to quit my job and just start drying and doing distractions for our customers for myself or my book in my own time. I don't have to go to this emphasis again and post story in front of a computer the difference with breath. This is the end. It will get to that in a minute. I want to hear about the financial side. But how long has that been that. You've quit your job. It has been and maybe a year and a half but I wasn't that certain bidding my job so by identity relieving. Not it I wasn't sure if I can make it as an artist so I have spoke to my manages to all my bosses. And how Great William to the job and I asked asked if I can leave for six months without losing my contracts of. I don't enjoy what I'm doing. I could come back after six months. I can't really short sir. I'll just be better designers from the actual that I'd burntisland. I need the time off. I need to travel by myself my happiness and then they say they never seem to handle that as they go. Sorry our designing posters Galley. No it's you know. Why do they follow you? And they saw we know you're miserable okay not to get any apologies from New People told you not to pursue this career. I didn't didn't slept in their faces the yet to put like fast. Just people told me to lake socialize with other kids and then go outside and I was like no girl they take away of law kit like look into the closets and enjoy burns air careful at for a while so it was a little bit more like has the worst but they told me how to play minecraft bit seven boys told you how to young young voice neighbor all like twelve and about fifteen at the time so it was like a little bit older like the older sisters but yet a lot of the people that were there. You're getting early twenties early thirties. So it's already like embiid. Difficult has lake assert lake Figure position which is difficult so they had to use a key. We'll get aware never league. Go build a tweet Hauser's which also enjoyed the custom messages carpentry. I mean actually I was more like planning it and I made the boys do the drawings interesting. I did a little reading because we twee spooky. meet him on the ground. You're like leave. Willow branches that. It's completely different. Creative fincher Artists are either both of us are introverts right. I mean we need restraint. Had Up here on the audience. You think you're an introvert. It's okay it's alright. I feel like that alternative. He is just prove that for the audience at all most the ridge racer had so you feel like you're diverts for the most part like Now she couldn't say hey it's sticky C. minus play and sirens. She's getting open both her book. She's in front of it and I have a war like uh-huh that's out there. I WANNA hi Sir under the table. Because I'm sure it's just like they walk that I go to expand food about the introvert. extrovert nature reserve it. Which is now Eh Laura personally for you specifically a Lotta pictures you're settled? You're probably recognize a lot. You guys iceberg online celebrities make grocery store anyway. My bus driver in Idaho for once he was like you you ernest. It was really the first time ever recognize was at the airport in in the UK. Logan Airport report tonight This was like probably five years ago at this point so awake during my pg rule times think in DVR sort of that sage before They make me and it had an I a towed bag. Actually that exact one right there. I was happy to see his dryer artwork on it. Yeah Yeah I had that in Through security in this security guard comes to music. Excuse me miss and I was like. Who are you an artist? I'm thinking yes like back. It was scary but it was really funny. The first ever go recognized and it was immediately a really good. I'm sorry to tell us what Tony you've got a story. I know I'm less levied. Do that okay. So you're three hundred or yes. I went to Italy and a couple times Florence at SC stories that come by anyway and so oh. My daughter had an allergic reaction. She was with me. And she's about twenty two and so we went to the hospital in Italy. And as we're got taken care urban all that is objecting. Try to pay for it. which by the way Italy was like twenty five dollars it gave her a shot? And all that here. We've been thou- realize I can't remember excite donuts for that. Yeah should be more money. You can so ashes checking me out. She goes she looked at my car or something. It's leader. Tom Bancroft my car yet and I thought was in trouble and she goes on instagram. I expect you guys have a lot. This is a big deal of it and then she goes I. It was the name. Yeah but then Tony. I'm GonNa make this make your leftover. Yes he did. uh-huh yeah sorry. That was just a whole lot lot all except for over apart like solution Andy Anyway out okay so we did awesome awesome. But it's a problem though. I mean like top to set. He loves he loves being strove to love giving the accolades. He's always old man o'clock bring it on when you get it right but three gusts. Is it ever an issue where you just feel like this is too much. You're just want to have a private time. I want to be with my a boyfriend or would it just be. I mean you said a relationship and instagram. I was quite great difficult than people gates but now oh like It's a bit of a weird one because people created network because of my art and network because they are interested in this risen so yet comedic wearied with as and getting recognized sometimes. It's an awkward moment as family news and I was on a tube in London by myself so often I like. I've even just cry so I was like in a tube. Train old vessels together and this girl comes up to me and she was like. Are you siren naked. Xp I was happy to talk. Yeah because usually they're fine with it but then she asked me. Can I get a picture with you. I'm sorry I'm just like a little bit like she's like. Oh no you're fine. And then achieved the beginning trick relate to refuse it but it was actually so scary to. That's the truth. That's the reality right. It can be difficult to I used to worry a lot with all the first impressions nations kind of stealing from somebody works in each. You rolled more things city over there so sorry for illegal. But it's like it's a lot of first impressions at you at conventions and we meet people on the street as well so it's very high pressure because they know who you are you you have no idea who they are so you have to. I don't know a few lines that I can go through really America's to quickly find out why they know me and like what they do. Yeah like I said I know exactly like to speak to them but as an autistic person I have to have like a few like scenarios that can go through so I know like this is the way to go so I don't feel too flustered. It can be difficult to feel that perjure everything to be presentable time I think it is a lot of pressure. I remember going to a part house. The Pirate House our current house. A lot of parents where you compare it with birds. Sorry English was in Poland and I had I had so so much fun. The bride's pooped on me and I didn't but then I did this story lengthy. Oh I wasn't part has and then somebody message me like oh so that was a so you there in at least he's only gun. My days ruined now. She saw me that he didn't have any make. My hair wasn't miss. How did they the hay rakes chasing Allies yourself pave. How did she see me? It was her impression. I didn't I know who she is with so many. Ib Look Nicer because of this link on all the time right and that could be saucy reinhold the US I've been doing it really well. Nobody knows it. It is interesting because what you guys are talking about what we usually. We see on TV on the morning shows with celebrities right and so it's so crazy to me that we live in a world wonderful at the same time that we live in a world than artists can have a million followers. There are many celebrities that we all follow probably to. They don't have as many as you guys do right so the fact that you guys are getting recognized it makes sense to start thinking about the things they go followers. The junk trier John Dryers it was the navy thought of that was GONNA say John Travolta but I think you might have a little more these I. It really is Michael Thinking might be. I was GONNA say about artists now getting recognition and being followed When I used to like kids books when I was younger I thought I needed to be a children's book writer to be able to illustrate books and make drawings and make a living off that because the writers always on the front cover but the illustrators and arguably ugly illustrations are the biggest part about kids sports on there yet? The names are always like With illustrations by in like somewhere inside the cover. Uh and that's why I thought I had to learn to write and I'm very glad I don't have to because I'm really bad so for brief while you did hold on one second John Travolta Volta Ni- alien follow years Stretchable to if we if we miners signature more powerful the Detroit. Cryer come up at all if I sit on your research. Man How much a vic- you're gonNA gain Doug Cryer Beaten Pretty soon. Okay okay so we didn't get to you exactly. We heard from you a a about would make a living now. So are you a hundred percent. Refiners pointed to take your up through throughout yes I did a few freelance jobs in the beginning. And then I also commissions before that at personal commissions haven't done notes in a while because instagram's sponsorships in conventions just paint better So I speak at events as as well. I do product testing but also just sometimes get Houston to me. And I draw outfit in ashes coming into This tactical move. I was like okay. I like fashion. And it's a big thing on. INSTAGRAM could sell fees in rushing his huge. So as I. This is a way where I can minus two patients of mine and I can also make it a business thing. That was scream. Asu You're wearing right now is paying for your trip to know. I bought these myself Christmas. Okay Christmas Nice with the red hair is a combination fake Kim possible possible eleven. Okay last guy. You're being recorded right now so we. We are getting kind of toward the India. I don't think think we have time for acuity but do want us to talk about these people right. Here is the ones that are listening but once sitting here like what are the things that they need to think about end to grow their their following. You guys have a few top two or three and I think it depends on what you WanNa do with your instagram Because she can use it as a tool to network and get your portfolio out there but you can also do direct to consumer and like what what we do a lot like we directly sell artwork to people for just in your house or in book form because they are artists themselves a lot of artists. That's Ford store somewhere that people go flair yet at conventions as well we sell directly to consumers so it depends on like what kind of following. You're you're looking forward what you should post. I think as well 'cause end what platform you should use Because I feel like twitter is where I get my Like industry contexts. Nickson my peers and people who have either corporate jobs do the freelance as well and the INSTAGRAM People are twitter and it's an ongoing conversation and people like give tips An instagram is more to the general public that might not necessarily be an artist themselves or Like be higher higher up than be working with artists that makes it and so it depends like do study about your conference as a whole like thing about that as well as is but I think they still forgetting to mention they have to draw through art or running nations. Don't forget about dialogue get lost in the number of followers likes. Just just focus on self improvement getting better getting to where you want to be in the future just achieving your goals in goes based on the numbers of likes Sir Because you can really there were big customers that reached out to me when I had a hundred thousand dollars and then said that he can be unless later because they are people make. She's the so many other. She's deadly busy week or two expense will reach out to someone with less when it comes to sorry completely I had all the time. It right right so yeah it's it's fascinating to me that that again. We kinda live in this new world where where artists can now go direct to consumer We can have an Ansi store of scum road or whatever and be able to digest address your move for well. I didn't expect that income wrote as well right John Star which they could private score and then you doing Patria tonight you still. It's still active. Because I some people that just want to continue to support me but I haven't been active on their for. Oh I like. Don't do any remarks. It's more like a tip jar so people are still. They're really great people. Yeah I just found the pressure to. They put out content to high now. I have a higher standard for my If I wanted to do something specific procedural unlike 'cause you're constantly putting out story. I wish just putting out drawings that I would normally out and then I already have trouble keeping up with the amount that you have to listen social media so it wasn't really offering something extra patriot. I felt like it was just another social media from using was a paywall involve as well. I was just taken away of what it could do. And if I were to do patron again it would be something. I feel like more of a product than can offer as well. It's more like a store I saw. I really WANNA know 'cause we're getting reading close here guys Time wise but I really WanNa hear like a bucket list okay like you guys are very successful. Many of us here including us. Tony I look up to you and what you've achieved sheep and I'm not just talking about followers just as artists making it in the world being able to do what's the dream of artists. It's able to do what you WANNA do. Unhappy and go free general like we used to love Charles Schultz. Who did the Dr Brian? snoopy and our goal was to be him to the people. Do a comic Strip and get your weeks worth of work done in two days and then golf the rest that we didn't call yellow basically live your own life and travel and do things things you're doing so anyway. Yeah so success right. Gosh we're was going to. That's really interesting. Thing is I was going to bring this up when you were talking about the introvert. extrovert thing for me. This seems like such ideal job for somebody. Introverted and It seems like a dream for so many people but for me it's really A means to an end because I don't have another way of reaching out to people when I was so recluse being in healthcare Yeah it was a rap lose being the healthcare and like I didn't go to school I literally didn't know anybody besides Mike caretakers in the seven voice. It was like Snow White Situation. I think about it eh but we live. We literally lived in woods as well. And we're also you know. Europe is a fairytale basis introducing the animals. No they would probably fall. I did remember where I was headed. So you've done all this and a lot of people. Oh you as super successful. Do you have a bucket lists of what do you want to achieve next. It could be followers to the next level. Where's IT GONNA go? I WanNa go into studio work especially as an extrovert. I want to work in a team. I WanNa not have this like. It's it's all in me. Your team yoursel. L. Appear to be the marketing for artists during the financial person. You do everything it just give it all over studio. Yeah I WANNA draw. I wouldn't I do like I want to get back to the is only as much as we can do with just one person we might have huge galls laws but in ninety two hands executive. You guys should start the studio though thima start this to radio okay. I do go on my bucket list feature movie or they can money mation this they never be forgotten. You WanNA create aerial aerial. Now Areo This great let's can we just do a couple of questions I think that'd be fine. Yeah but we have five seconds in five seconds. If you have a couple of accidents that this gentleman you're good they are living this for the Mike The question is have algorithms the effects to your gates or we only hear about this. I'll go I'll uh-huh as imagine. We work both for his ground. We come to this week. uh-huh okay how does it work people. I think the expert the experiment with a little bit. There's no like big changes. It's just people going like getting as many likes because they like maybe they need to reinvent themselves instead of blaming the algorithm. So I mean there's things like shadow banning and that's that definitely happens. And sometimes he had the algorithm or just being at being in certain regions of the world can affect your ratio like absolutely absolutely Defeat chain so it wasn't The Algorithm is now. There's an oak rhythm in place where it's not a chronological go. Any more and you get like the stuff that you engage with but if you are making engaging content people are gonNA continue engaging with it I never saw a change unlikes like of course like Gary Less but I never saw like. Oh this algorithm like did something. Let's do one. I'm more questions to wrap up. Thank you make the top one for up to what was one of the top mistakes you made a few got got it for free. Materials taught were working for curiel companies. Reach the angle. We'll send you a free Friday and they can promote us on your on your sorry they can just test it and tell us what you think of materials and then okay we get this. You went to. You're going to learn how to work with Ed. We to make dry posts on the feedback given by the Indian. What how am I supposed to to pay my rent with this news catch h how are we supposed to eat those markets? That was the biggest sustainment likely likely as we go. So what if it's like a high end pieces walk or something you need one. Yes sure but I already already had the time limits and they get any Senate for half there and if it's like a big company they can pay you or or something like that. They should be leader. Please don't pay us. We're marketing marketing budget. Exempt money into things like At least likely if their product is a write off by the way that the product. It's like a write off them. There's a cost of anything hardly at all. It is cheap way to get you guys. All Right Laura what would your biggest mistake yeah Starting at all no just BLEW ICONS DOT COM. Okay so certainly I just mistakes teach chew stuff. I don't have any regrets stuff that I did like. I'm sure I messed up at some point like I might have like accidentally posted my address on like an envelope or something like that. That's like little mistakes. A six technically made. But there's no mistake that hasn't gotten me to where I am right now like there's no nothing to regret because it's it's all got me to where I am right now. What you totally saved yourself? Because it was a great answer. Yeah so I do this thing. Every night she's we have to wrap up and say we closely podcast right right. Can you guys Komo We'd probably dot added. They've never ever closing. Let me say to every podcast. It was actually inspired. firebreak Glen Keane made area. which you'RE GONNA YOU'RE GONNA kill them as you can make the cigarette out at something out of eight from the heart so if you don't mind heart?

instagram Laura Laura Laura US Tom Bancroft twitter Europe Tony Got Houston Disney Jonah Nineteen Los Hermanos Bancroft todd Iceland Bush Mesa Roseau Tony Benn allergic
86: Zero Waste Starter Pack

ECO CHIC

09:31 min | 1 year ago

86: Zero Waste Starter Pack

"You're listening to episode eighty-six welcomed ECO. Chic the podcast about practical science and sustainability. My name is Laura Diaz and I am happy to have you here. Today's episode is a little bit different. It's coming out Thursday and today's episode is going to be the first of a starter. Pack episode series. I don't know if we should call it a series because they're not gonNA come out all at once but it's essentially a style of episode that I'd like to put out. That is like a one. Oh one introduction episode to a particular topic. So we're going to do is we're going to give a nice overview view of whatever. The topic is that we're talking about that particular day and then towards the end I will go ahead and refer you to other episodes where you can get more information more in-depth on any particular detail that you'd like to learn more about if you find this episode helpful at all please go ahead and leave a rating and review on the Apple. PODCAST UP. Hit Me with those five stars ars I really appreciate it and make sure your subscribe so you don't miss any future episodes also if you want to talk if you wanNA connect at all at echo sheet podcast on. Instagram is by far far. The easiest way to get in touch with me. My original pages also always linked in the show notes at lower. EDS or if you're so inclined you can also email me Laura Laura eds dot com again on all those things always in the show notes. We are starting off these starter packs with one of my very favorite topics actually one of the topics that inspired this whole podcast in the first place and that is the concept of zero. Waste if you are looking to take charge of your environmental footprint if you're new to the Green Movement zero waste is a great concept to get familiar with because I feel like it's a buzzword that's thrown around quite a bit right now so let's just start with defining this what is zero waste. Zero waste is basically a set of principles for waste prevention with the ultimate goal of no waste being sent sent to a landfill. Essentially someone who lives zero as lifestyle is one in which they do not produce any trash. That's the ultimate goal. Of course. There's a lot of things that prevent that from happening. There's medical waste and other random things but the ultimate goal is to make no trash. I personally like the term a low waste I. I think that's a lot more accepting it feels a little bit more attainable in my personal opinion. So just the idea that you are cutting down on the ways that you're producing as much as possible for your particular lifestyle lifestyle. So that being said in this episode I may interchangeably. Use the terms zero waste and low as just because that's personally how icy the concepts. The next question. Question is going to be. Why should you want to live a low waist or zero waste lifestyle? The easy answer is that reduce reuse recycle cycle the triangle essentially that we are all familiar with is actually a hierarchy. So the first thing that you should aim to do with your waste is reduced the amount on of wasting your producing and then you want to reuse as much as you can so that you're acquiring more into your life and producing more waste. Recycling should be your very vary last resort when it comes to dealing with your trash some people also like to add repair and rot and call these the five rs of waste so reduce repair reuse. Rot Recycle we will be discussing those additional later on but let's first to start with like the very very basics if you WANNA start taking charge of your waist if you WanNa start lessening the amount of waste that you produce the best place to start is going to be with the big four. You're so the big four are items that are coming into your life that are regularly producing waste so this is water bottles coffee cups. Shopping bags and straws is. I'm going to go ahead and suggest a really easy way to make sure that you are always prepared for these situations is just always. Make sure that you have your reusable option on hand. If you know that you like to run out for a mid day coffee break. Leave a reusable Coffee Mug at your desk at work. It never goes home with you and never gets in your car whatever. It's always sitting sitting at work desk so if you're ever in the situation where you WANNA run out for coffee you have your coffee mug ready to go the same thing with a shopping bag. If you know that you are someone who frequently frequently just passes by the grocery store thinks. Oh maybe I should pop in for something. Having a reusable grocery bag in your car is going to ensure that you're never caught without one and forced to to acquire a plastic shopping bag. Straws are probably the easiest of the big four to really stray away from when it comes to plastic and just consumption in in general because straws are something that the majority of us do not necessarily need. Of course there are situations where you're just gonNA WANNA draw you. Have maybe like a really big glass. Or if you're you're drinking like a thick smoothie or something along those lines but for the most part straws are the easiest to refuse because most people don't need to buy anything to replace ace aplastic Straw. Now let's go back to those extra two ours of repair and Rot. The concept of repairing something as zero waste principle is essentially just encouraging. You not toss something if you can fix it. Learned to sew on a button if you have appliance acting up. Try to replace apart before sending thing it entirely to a landfill be resourceful with what you have and be creative with what you have have solutions on hand in order to fix problems so that you're you're not constantly replacing items that don't always need to be replaced. And then the other is going to be wrought which essentially is referring to composting. Food in a landfill does not biodegrade. I think this is a very common misconception. But food needs oxygen in order to break down and if you have food tied up in a plastic plastic trash bag it doesn't have that oxygen so it's actually going to be producing methane when it's breaking down is not biodegrading naturally. So what's the the big deal. Methane is twenty four times more harmful than carbon dioxide when it comes to warming our atmosphere methane is a major greenhouse gas that is very very keenly responsible for global warming and composting is actually one of the easiest personal things you can do to reduce your carbon footprint overall. It's actually the number two most effective solution when it comes to reducing your carbon footprint and the number four overall thing that we can be doing to lessen in our climate impacts is composting diverting as much food from landfills as possible. That's a stat that comes from project drawdown if you're interested in learning more about climate solutions drawdown is a great organization to look at four research based solutions another big pillar when it comes to zero waste. Movement is just the concept of taking things out of the waste stream. This kind of goes along with the repair principle but taking things out of the waste stream for the most part just means shopping secondhand hand thrift when possible. You don't necessarily need to buy something brand new and use up new resources if you are looking to reduce your overall waste. It's also really great. Great option to look at an item that is already in the waste stream that you could give a new life. Maybe you again are sowing on a new button or you are changing the color or doing something to make it more. Personal One. Man's trash is another man's treasure. That's really where the zero waste movement likes. You take charge so the nice thing about most of these items and most of these practices is is that you shouldn't have to buy anything for years. Zero waste lifestyle. And if you do have to buy one thing if you want to go ahead and invest and make yourself a more sustainable a person right off the bat. The one thing I always suggest is produce bags reusable produce bags. This is essentially replacing those plastic bags. You get at the grocery store or that. Maybe you're putting your bananas in a plastic bag an onion tomatoes things like that if you are just using that plastic bag to carry your produce home. It's kind of a silly silly way to acquire plastic in your life. Maybe you're already ringing your reusable shopping bags to the grocery store but then you're dealing with tons of other little plastic bags so I think that that reusable produce bags are a great place to start if you're really interested in purchasing something for this lifestyle if you're interested in supporting the show I have produced bags available double at totally eco. Chic Dot Com. They're really cute. Little canvas bags but in general prototypes or a great place to start. Because they're just continuing to add to that reduction of waste when it comes to bags ags other helpful episodes if you are interested in learning more about zero waste and how you can reduce your personal waste footprint they are going to be linked in the show notes. You can just go on whatever podcast. You're listening on and go to this particular episode and I'll have episodes linked on composting on tips for thrifty. How to shop package free and how to recycle almost anything basically any previous episode on this podcast will be really helpful in encouraging? You you to think more deeply about your environmental footprint. That's all I have for the starter pack episode. I hope this was really helpful and like a good bite-sized Introduction to the zero waste movement. They're always lifestyle. Congratulations on just wanting to go down this journey. It's been really rewarding for me. I really enjoy it and I hope those other episodes are really good resources for you. Hugh thanks so much for tuning in and I'll talk to you really soon.

Laura Diaz Laura Laura Green Movement Apple EDS Hugh
Frank Vogel joins Sedano, LZ & Kap

Afternoons with Marcellus & Kelvin

16:36 min | 2 months ago

Frank Vogel joins Sedano, LZ & Kap

"Saddam cap with you here l. out today just being cap frank. Vogel is going to join is any second now. Laura will let me know. When he's there. I did see this interesting fact today. On uber facts and it says on average people get out of bed at seventy. Am perform better at work to be happier less stressed and thinner capital. Are you an early riser. Very early riser. every day. it doesn't matter what day of the week it is doesn't matter what time of night i went to sleep very early riser. How about you not me. I like to get up after seven for sure. Occasionally i will get up before then if when my body naturally wakes up. But that's what i try to. I try to sleep until my body says. I'm good because occasionally i will. I will wake up and fall right back asleep. So as long as i'm still falling right back asleep i'm going to sleep. I'm one of those people that looks on instagram and sees like do you know any of these like former navy seals. The have you ever seen a guy named jaakko willing neck. Have you ever seen him. Jaakko is yeah. He's a former navy seal. He's become kind of an instagram influence. Or or david goggin is no okay. Well i don't spend very much time on his. Okay well i will tell you this. I see a lot of your children on instagram. And that's how i get to keep up with your familiar. Yeah but that's pretty much it like. I see some of these like navy. Seals put their watch on. they'll go. it's four thirty in the morning. What are you doing better going. You know how would that dude. What about laura laura time are you getting up. I get up around six thirty in the morning girl. Wake up early day going especially on monday morning. I saw your tweet early this morning. It was like yo what up people. it's monday let's get this thing fired up. Is that what you tweeted. Laura something like that. She tweeted is. I just got frank logo on the line is more important than us. There's no question. The lakers have wanted a row. The head coach of your world champion. Los angeles lakers friend of the program. Frank vogel joins us now year. Frank i was. I was just telling the guys that he dropped and he just dropped. Oh okay back there. Is i wanna time. He wakes up. Frankly there i'm here. Yes you hear me. Yeah we got you. I was just telling the crew that you know it's a good game for you when you don't have to talk to me in the third quarter how you wouldn't have to talk to be in the first quarter yesterday. Always the plan with these national televised games. We took it up. Thirty buddy and the third. I don't have to do that in game interview. And everything's easier that way. You hate talking to us in that scenario and i know you're a nice guy so you you you will do whatever it takes to do. Whatever the league wants and the partners want. But i know you guys. Hey talking to us in the middle of it's It's good for the big picture right for the game. You know for the fan that that type of access but you know obviously when you're in that moment and The quarter comes to a close. All you're thinking about as you'll -tations and what sets you want to run. Come out they start at the fourth and Just thinking about winning the game so it is. It is a little bit of distraction but again just Keep the big picture in mind. Just the funny thing is. I always end up. Sometimes it happens with you but it feels like my biggest nightmare and it happens regularly is like your team is up. And then all of a sudden you blow lead and now you're like trailing or it's tied and i gotta deal with an upset version of you or whoever's coaching in that scenario i feel that all the time so if it happens again when it's you and me just be aware i didn't do that. Okay that was your team. Did that took it out on you. Beard i'm gonna go straight popovic on lead and you're from like that. Listen i got popovich to crack a couple of years ago and laugh okay. That is a rare occurrence so but scott. Can you ask. Frank what we were talking about with. Sean mcvay the other day we were talking about dancing coach vogel so i want scott to ask you the question that we posed to mcveigh. Well coach good afternoon. It's great to talk to you for the first time. How are you today doing doing really great coach. Thank you very much. So yeah so raheem. Morris is the new defensive coordinator of the ramsey came on the air. He told us. Sean mcvay as a great dancer we bring sean on. He tells us a couple of vodkas. He's a great dancer. We ask the question if you could dance. What do you say a couple years longer. Batch it go. Mr yeah same answer you know if if a lotta wedding or something like that. Yeah blessedness moves. But i'm not a great dance overall. No no when you won the championship. Did you get down a little bit. Though he a bubble. There's no party though you. Gotta you know a little restaurant to celebrate coach. Let me ask you this so let me jump right into it. Because what i'm curious about. Is this when. Anthony davis goes out and you guys now. No it's going to be a while. Do you have to sit down with the assistant coaches and kind of go back to the drawing board of wall. What do we do. How do we adjust. What do we have. And how do we go about winning games. I mean can you just talk us through what happens on the realization. That anthony davis isn't gonna be with you for a while and then having to make changes to the lineup. Yeah well that's that's exactly what you do you know you have to adjust You have a few different ways you can go with your with your lineups and you know your style of play and whatnot and The number one thing that comes to mind obviously is is making sure that you know. We don't put too much of it on on the bronx or on any one player. You know to try to pick up the slack. You know it's gotta be a team effort But you do go through the you know the different scenarios you can do. You can go with With your starting lineup. And how you're gonna use rotation and what you know how guys roles are going to change so We came out with one way. We lost a few in a row. We shifted and You know we got got beating that utah game but The last who've been pretty good all right. Frank is far as like making these changes to the lineup. And you know. Hey here's a starting rotation things aren't going so well let's start over here and see what we got. Is it remotely predictable at all. Well sure i mean you know you have a way that you think you can win and You know when you see it play out on the floor you know you see some some areas that Present problems one of the problems. I felt like with the first three games. We were planning nine nine rotation. But like i wanted to go a little deeper than that. You know so You know that's that's what the shipping is starting lineup really triggered trying to go one more deep so hopefully Refutable so poorly you know so hopefully getting another guy in there and guys minutes a little bit. The rotation is down a little bit would help us Stay little more fresh than than we looked at some of those games. Frank vogel the head coach of your world champion. Los angeles lakers with us here on seventeen. Spn so obviously. Having shooter has been a huge lift for you guys. But i noticed yesterday you were staggering him and lebron. Some what went into that. Frank was a game one Plan with dennis coming back where You know obviously we've been struggling with the lineup. Swim lebron's out of the game and You know obviously using dennis in those in those minutes would be beneficial but at the same time he he had been out of court for a week or so so we were concerned about his legs and conditioning so in the coaching staff and i just discussed potentially using a short i For him for dennis you know. Get him out this seven minute. Mark and bring him back four on you know so he can be fresh In those minutes when lebron's out. And you know i. Two games was done. That looked pretty good So we'll probably stick with that coach. I want to ask you about lebron and minutes when the losing streak was happening to one thing people were saying was lebron's playing too much and my question is can you sit him. I mean what goes into his playing or not playing you guys talk about it before games have just curious because it's gotta be kind of a weird position like dude. I think you need to sit. But he says. I don't wanna say no. It's a group decision. You know what i mean. Like if we feel like he needs to sit and you know we can talk to him and talk to the medical team all come up with a group decision that we all agree with You know then that can be the right thing to do. But if he's felons all and wants to play We're gonna have them out there and You know we trust him. He knows his body. More than anyone. mike nancy. His medical team is body more than anyone and If there's a reason to sit he'll sit but if there's not then then we expect them You know he. He wants to be in there and we're going to welcome him being in there and i i just think it's such a great example for You know not only the rest of his teammates. But you know i think the younger generation you know of this big United you've seen a lot of a lot of teams move towards guy sitting out and this and a lot of games you know. I just think sets a great example. So we make these decisions as a group He's always mind to hear everyone's perspective As are we to hear his perspective and Like i said we make decisions as frank. Vogel jr joining us here. Go ahead scott. I'm sorry well i'm frank. I think it's really super interesting to hear you talk about that. Because i think a lot of us have a perception like you. Just can't tell them what to do or when to sit but it sounds like it's a collaboration amongst the entire team. No i it it absolutely is you know and We've had a great partnership you know. I think since since the bosnian here beginning with with Rob point caramba cimarron and then Myself and my coaching staff. Since we got here to just talk these things out and see what makes sense and you know when you collaborate and you make group decisions. Usually you're moving things in the right direction and you make a pretty smart decisions with things so you know to process processes workforce this bar and we'll continue to do so frank you've one two zero since the the four game losing streak the jazz game though like how do you. How do you deal with that actor. Do you just throw that one away do you. Do you put yourself through the misery of watching it again as a group. How does that work. You know if we We had practice scheduled We would have watched as a group and just look at ways. We could have been better. You know we always remove the result of the game from our film sessions. You know like let's just look at You know sort of what happened. Look it's how how. Well we execute our habits things tactically. We could do differently. And and let's try grossness game of whether we won we lost One big we lost big It doesn't really matter You know this was a situation where after the overtime game and traveling i felt like our team was fatigue so i gave him off the next day And and the and the next morning off of You know leading to portland game To try to just come into that game as fresh as possible with their minds and with our bodies and You know. I'll be really said about that. That utah game. Is we talked last game. Let's put it behind us and let's be beat portland and You know sometimes that's approach. Sometimes it's not but That's we did that game. We able to get jobs. Unversed blazers kit kit. Can you give me see. i'm gonna play. We're gonna do a little role play here. Because i didn't get a chance talked to you yesterday in game. But my god dave pasch got the greatest answer from you in that portland game in the third quarter. And i want you to recreate that. Are you ready okay i. I'm dave passionate. Frank vogel lakers head coach with us. Here frank portland has taken the lead here in the situation. What's the key to winning the game. The rest of the way here. Yeah i think you said what's a key to win in the fourth quarter. My answer was simple. If i should have pulled down my math. Show a smile because with the math. You don't really get to show you three most and so you know it was set in just but we gotta slow down dame doll that. That's what comes out. We know he's gonna have the ball down. I was sitting on my couch laughter. They were on the broadcast. Because of the way you said now you didn't have to take the mask off. I just tell with the way your face moved. Your eyes move that you were you. Were having a ball with that. But you're right but also you nailed it like that to me. I want that. I want you to give everybody's nickname every time you do that. Like i feel like that could be your almost like. Hey let's say you gotta slow down that guy right frank. Let me let me talk to you about something. That's non laker non basketball. You ready okay. All right george told me. Because i've been a big proponent of the let them play california movement and happy to see that high school sports coming back. George tells me you have some high school athletes in the families. That right i do. Yes can we hear a little bit more about who what they play etc. Yeah i have two daughters That play soccer and one potentially playing lacrosse You know at a local high school and You know they've been out all year and you know they're they're just now talking about. We actually have a meeting tomorrow night. about the resumption of play. And what that's all gonna look like so we're we're really excited about it I think it's long overdue and You know i'll be excited to see To be able to watch the soccer games while soon how old are the girls and what grades are them. Junior and and and freshman seventeen just turned seventeen and fourteen and are they club soccer players as well or high school players. Well yeah they both play club but you know the way you know with the pandemic. There's always you know certain restrictions and You know. I think they're going to be put in a position where they have to choose one or the other you know because obviously you don't want you know you're you're playing with a certain group of players you know and potentially being exposed to the virus in and bringing that back to your you know your team group so you know there's some restrictions air tough decisions and It's kind of a little in our household right now. Oh dude i know man. I've been there well. Not through the pandemic. But i've had a daughter played high school soccer clubs. Soccer went on to play college soccer. And just i mean. It's the greatest thing ever i thought. Oh my god. I've got three daughters. I need to have a boy to play some sports. But i'm telling you watching your girls play sports. I i mean it was like my favorite favorite favorite thing to do. I don't know how much you must love it as well but and especially going from coach to to father and fan. Yeah i don't miss. I don't miss a game. If i'm in town if i can be they're gonna be there and you know it's been that way since they were you know four and six years old you know it is the most enjoyable things in my life in this very dearly frank vogel with this year lasting before we let you go. We were making fun of scott. 'cause he he he occasionally takes one too many self fees for my liking personal coach. That is it's fine truce coach. He won't admit it it's fine. It's okay frank vogel ever self guy at all or no i would say minimally like if i'm in a place You know where. I wanna you know. Send a picture to my wife and daughters of where i'm at right. Take yourself in those situations I do. I do take you know when when i'm taking pictures on my myself and my daughter's Or myself my wife. I i do think the selfie is Is more appropriate than you. Your to somebody to take your picture especially now right yes total. That's the right way to do it very and also i'll throw this two cents into the self that nobody does autograph anymore. No autographs Right there modern day autograph is is. Can i get a picture with you. So ryo yourself using those situations of course pre pre pandemic right. Now it's like let's be static six feet apart. You want my figure you stand over there. The camera take pictures. Take stands over there dude. It's funny because i was at the airport doing a game. Doing your game. The preseason against against phoenix. And i ran into charles barkley and even with a mask on six eight even care about six feet. People were asking him he'd still do it. I was like charles. You're a better man than me. Not i am not pulling that off but good lord i am with you. There coach always a pleasure man. Thank you for making time for us. Best of luck continued success. And we'll talk to you down the line soon. We appreciate it. Thanks to care. Harry is frank vogel head. Coach of your los angeles lakers.

frank vogel Sean mcvay lebron lakers navy Frank jaakko Jaakko david goggin laura laura frank logo frank popovic Laura scott dennis Vogel mike nancy popovich raheem
You're doing passwords wrong, stupid (The Daily Charge, 3/11/2020)

The 3:59

10:18 min | 1 year ago

You're doing passwords wrong, stupid (The Daily Charge, 3/11/2020)

"Hi there I'm Fox Allen and I'm lance cartel and we're TV guide survivor brothers. Join US every week throughout survivors season forty winners at war as we equip you green interview with survivor. Legends Strategy Talk Analysis and more bequeath. That's fun to say. Make sure is. Don't miss a single moment of this most height survivor. Season of all time subscribe survivor. Brothers on Apple podcast. Google podcast spotify. I Heart Radio. Stitcher basically anywhere. Good podcast found. Passwords sucked still main way with tech ourselves online. Let's run through a few well-worn Patrick rules. That are just plain wrong. This is a daily charge. It's Wednesday march eleventh. I'm Roger Chang and with me via skype is our west coast reporter Laura Laura. You're here to bust three well-worn rules for dealing with passwords. Let's run through the. What are we doing wrong? Yeah Super Longtime we've been told never write down your passwords We've been told don't ever share your path written. You're just change them all the time just in case change your passwords and then you'll be safe but there are some problems with all of these rules that kind of lead you to do passwords wrong. So let's let's break it down individually like the first one like. Don't write down your password. I it's funny like when I read that because there's always a scene in those in a movie where you know someone's like snooping around someone's desk and they see the written password and then you you feel dumb because you've got the same kind of written password at your desk or at least your friends. Do Not me right. So wh why. Why is that counterintuitive? Because it seems to me like you it would make sense to not have the rim password on. Why is it makes sense to actually write down now so now? We have way way too many passwords to memorize. You're supposed to memorize your password. Write it down but if you have a dozen hundred passwords how are you? GonNa do that. So the only way to have unique passwords for every account which is definitely what you should do is to write them down. You can write them down physically and keep them locked in a file drawer or something. Don't put a sticky note under your keyboard. That's still a bad idea. But you know you can also use a password manager which is a digital way of writing them down just any way that helps you actually have different passwords for every account. He's going to require writing them down right and the idea that you don't share your cow you don't share your password. Why why does that make sense? Now or why is it not make sense? Well I mean the fact is just do we do share our accounts. We share our net flex accounts. Or you know if you have when Amazon prime account you're not GonNa get another for your partner who lives in the same house as you. That doesn't make any sense. Banking is the often similar so The good news is that some services are helping. You have shared accounts with separate passwords. So that's good but other council doodads so you just have to be smart about it. The number one thing to do if you're gonNA share your passwords with someone is to not reuse that password somewhere else. Has THAT LIMITS. The chance that you or your partner. Whoever you're sharing with is going to accidentally give that password to hackers and a phishing scheme and then you know pop. Open all those other accounts where you're reading that password. Okay so I can finally let my wife Know Patrick. That's probably the other thing is that you know we don't live forever and at the end of your life you're going to want to have someone have access to your accounts. Absolutely the only thing you have older parents. You know like. Tell me where you keep your passwords on so that I can access things that I need to definitely okay and then don't costly change your password which I'm big fan of the break it down. Why why why is this? A was not make sense though. Actually there is this research about over ten years ago showing that when people are required to change your passwords frequently. What they do is just add. Something released simple to the end of their other previous password and pretty trivial to guess. What the changes. So if your password is actually been stolen by hackers only do is like a one or two at the end. You're not really doing very much. Just a cure yourself. So if you know that your password has been stolen in data-breach you should change your password. Absolutely but you something totally different. But if you if you don't have any reason to think past has been stolen you should leave it a complex unique password that you're not using anywhere else in. That's definitely just the best security. Got It I really wish Arcor parents would hear that because we have to change your passwords constantly. Here I you know. We haven't even Shanklin on Monday to talk about. Why Password Suck? You had a nice story yesterday about passer managers. There's been a lot of interest with our readers about our listeners. About MANAGERS GENERAL. You break down some of the key passer managers options that are out there. And so you'd Recommend Yeah. I mean so I think One Password in Las some of the best known there's also Dash Lane and emits actually close to a dozen. Really good ones right now on and you know what makes them good is that they generate passwords view. That are unique. You don't have to think of really crazy long password yourself And stores them for you and then makes it as easy as possible to log in from your phone from your device your laptop whatever. You're using So you don't actually remember any password and it. It's just kind of the best way to follow that rule of using unique password for every site. Because you know otherwise you'd have to be a robot or a computer to to actually do that. Well all right. Want to talk about the big story today that is e three potentially being canceled. We've got reports are sister site gamespot. As reported that the video game conference in Los Angeles is set to be cancelled. They are there they are scheduling a press conference earlier today. I believe nine thirty. Am Pacific so we'll likely get official word then but this is just the latest in a series of conference conferences and public events that have been canceled over concerns about current virus. Now Laura Fortuitous that you're here because you actually attended one of the few conferences that went on despite the concerns that the security conference the one that happened to actually have someone with current virus attend so share some of your perspective on that and why it's important for some of these conferences to be cancelled. Yeah so at the time of. Rsa Conference there. Hadn't been any community transmitted cases in San Francisco. It didn't seem like it was an issue San Francisco but of course when you bring you know ten twenty thirty thousand people into the same place from all over the world that increases the chances of transmission and that seems what happened that according to Bloomberg one of the people who had a Kobe nineteen while the conference got sick on the last day of the conference in and had to be put into a medically induced coma more recently. There was quite serious so knowing that someone at the conference was you know just about to be symptomatic pretty worrying when I look back and I. I'm pretty sure that everyone who attended the conference is also Reassuring themselves they know. I wash my hands a lot. I know it's unlikely that I contacted as one person but still really disconcerting to know that that possibility is out there absolutely. I think When Mobile World Congress that phone Barcelona they they got. It got cancelled their lot critics. Who said you know this has been over action? I think a lot of folks who are who made the decision to pull and pull the trigger on canceling these conferences are probably breathing a sigh of relief knowing that this happened like the worst case scenario pretty much happened at our essay and so You can imagine this is going to continue to be a thing. Conferences like Goliath or being canceled apples to be. Wdc is just a few months. We don't know what's going on with that but I suspect that'll get cancelled as well. So it's sort of the latest in the string and just bring back to the sort of video game roller E. Three. There were some questions about so the value were we were. Sony had already said they were planning to pull out of the the conference completely to give their playstation five a bit more of its own limelight. And you know. Microsoft is always kind of traditionally held a separate event and so Google Google Had A big presence with stadium there last year but it wasn't actually at the show is sort of off site so there's been a lot of questions about the value of three even before the coronavirus concerns hit but obviously paired with these fears and just sort of the you know the the need to be cautious about things it does make sense for three to go get cancelled so there's a huge active of this disease. That not only are people really getting sick. And it's it's scary to see whether or not we can contain it but there's this you'd economic impact on businesses that are canceling. These media events desolate. You won't learn more about two topics. Protect the links to all. Today's stories in description below the daily. Char Chang joining us. Hey y'all it's Patterson from CBS SPORTS. If you're a die hard fan of college football then you don't need me to remind you that this sport knows no off season in. Let's be honest if you're a die. Hard Fan of college football. I kind of expect you to already be subscribed to the cover three podcast. But don't worry if you missed out on the lock fights late night instant reactions and emergency podcasts. In two thousand nineteen. There's still room for you to join us. Results on the field in the fall or the product of pieces that were set in place in the winter. So don't miss out on the moves. News and headlines that will determine the twenty twenty national championship download and subscribe to cover three podcast on Apple. Spotify and anywhere. Podcasts are found.

Apple Google spotify Roger Chang Patrick partner US football Fox Allen San Francisco Amazon Laura Laura Los Angeles Laura Fortuitous CBS SPORTS Sony Shanklin Arcor cure
95: Art For Planet: How Murals Around The World Are Impacting The Climate Conversation | Pangeaseed Foundation

ECO CHIC

40:18 min | 1 year ago

95: Art For Planet: How Murals Around The World Are Impacting The Climate Conversation | Pangeaseed Foundation

"Hey y'all welcome back to ECO. Chic the podcast about practical science and sustainability. This episode ninety five and I cannot believe I just said this is episode ninety five. I'm your friend. Laura yes I'm really pumped to have you back and as per usual. I'm excited about today's episode today. We're speaking with TRAE and Akita of the seed foundation. The Panja Seed Foundation is an incredible nonprofit group. That facilitates murals all over the world. All about environmental issues and right now primarily about oceans and maybe if you haven't heard the name Pantyhose seat foundation you've seen one of their murals pen. Juicy Foundation has facilitated about four hundred murals in fifteen countries Miami San Diego Mexico Indonesia Canada Sri Lanka New Zealand. Seriously all over the world and it is so incredible to be able to have the opportunity to speak with trae and Akita the heads of the foundation. Because we're really getting into how art is making an impact on the climate conversation and on the conversation more generally about oceans and about environmental issues. And how we are. Interacting with science in the streets TRAE and Akita are both travelers so we do open the conversation talking a little bit about travel experiences that have really impacted their understanding of different cultures and how people interact with topics like pollution climate. Change that might be questioning what they already believe in so I think it's really really cool that they both have a very well versed. Travel background an experience. That trae mentions that really really struck. A Chord with me was wondering which he was working in environmental documentation. He had this big affinity for sharks. And in two thousand eight he uncovered the largest underground shark finning trade in Asia and as soon as he said that my jaw totally dropped and I think it gives a nice perspective to the way that environmental issues. Feel very far away when you're not seeing them up close and personal. It's really heartbreaking to hear about Shark Finning operations when you're someone who just stumbled upon that as part of your work it really strikes a different word and I feel as though train Akita have really honed into the best ways to make people feel more at home and more aware of environmental issues. They take this very bottom up approach when it comes to community driven activism trae Akita. Bring a great interesting perspective in my opinion to this conversation of climate activism. Because they're really cool people and I get it. I talked to a lot of cool people on this show but I feel like training. Hito are really cool there. Another level of cool. They talk about how they understand street culture of graffiti and PUNK ROCK and skateboarding. And then they compare that with these worldly experiences that they've had understanding different cultures and different communities and then to take all of that knowledge and perspective and be able to really manifest this huge operation that is the pantyhose seed foundation bringing together hundreds of artists and these huge community turnouts to support public art and bringing the sea into the streets. I think it's such a cool perspective and another thing that I enjoyed so much about this conversation. Is that training? Keita are both so positive and how people can get involved with climate and with climate activism and not necessarily just climate. If there's something that's in your area that you're particularly concerned about that's not climate related. There are ways that you can contribute. That's not necessarily being scientist or being someone on the picket lines or tying yourself to a tree or whatever it is there are ways that you can use your creative talents and your time and energy and pour them into an organization like the Panja seat foundation that can go ahead and aim to start the conversation and get people thinking on their own and all. I'm a big believer that there's a space for everyone in this climate conversation. I think it's a little daunting nonetheless to continue to think about how you can contribute and you can be like. Oh Wow. I'm not a scientist while I'm not an artist. There are things that you can do an in the case of the pantyhose seat foundation. Would they do is so beautiful and just something that brings the community together? And I think that's an incredibly important point to take home if you enjoyed this episode. I'd like to invite you on Apple. Podcasts go ahead and leave a rating and review. It really helps out the show and you can follow us on social media at ECO. Chic podcast on instagram. And that's where I primarily live. We're also on facebook if you would like to interact with us on facebook if you'd like to email me my email also always in the show notes and you can sign up for our newsletter totally. Goshi DOT COM. There's little pop up it. It says sign up for our newsletter comes out once a week. It's full of everything. Eco Chic so we talk about the latest things on the podcast. Anything new from the shop but also just fun clinical stories that you can read out your desk and if you're already sitting in your inbox pretending to look busy at work you might as well be reading something interesting from your friends over. Eco Chic. So totally ECO. Chic Dot Com is where you can sign up for it that we aren't independent show so it's always nice to have your support. It means a lot to us. That's for me. I don't have any big housekeeping announcements for today. I do want to give a little bit of preface because I did mention that. We're talking about travel in the opening conversation here when we're talking with Nikita. I want to say that I understand that. There is privileged surrounding travel and being able to see other communities and other cultures. I don't want anyone to come out of this conversation feeling like I'm preaching to you that you need to go and have these experiences to be a well rounded person. I just think it's an interesting thing to discuss when we are talking about their story. And how the foundation came to be. I think it adds a lot to their understanding of environmental issues around the world. And how communities interact with these things whether or not you have the means to travel as extensively as you'd like to have similar experiences. I would really encourage you to think about the different people and the different communities that are present in your area. I think that it's interesting to think about diversity and travel but also please remember that you can do this in some capacity already where you're at interact with your neighbors support. Your local nonprofits thing about public are and think about how your skill set and your creativity can really contribute to this environmental conversation that we're all having whether our communities are discussing it openly or not so with that please enjoy today's conversation. Fangio's seed foundation. Also if you haven't looked up there aren't you definitely have to. It's super beautiful. I'm going to link their social media and their website while you're listening to this episode seawalls Dot Org truly incredible work on incredible organization. Let's get into today's episode with Train Akita of the foundation. Great so trey and cure. I'm really really interested in hearing a little bit about your travel experiences. Maybe some travel experiences. That were really impactful to you. I want to get right into how you got to. Starting the pinch eat foundation. Yeah first of all thank you for having us a real excited to be on the podcast today and yeah just to jump right into your question. I've been travelling extensively for probably the past couple of decades and at one point I ended up in Asia and I was doing a lot of documentation legalize trade mainly focused on marine animals. And through that I was traveling some pretty far off destinations and meeting. Different people experiencing culture cuisine religion. And you know environment everything kind of in between and it's it's challenging to narrow down to one because like so many heads such a heavy impact on me because I grew up in the states and in growing up as a kid we did travel but not to the level that I started traveling as as adult for me seeing just how different cultures live on a day to day basis. I think so inspiring and education for me because I think in the states you know are probably anywhere that you live. You know. It's easy to live in a bubble and your condition to your environment stepping out of that comfort zone allowing some some culture shock to see in a healthy thing and places in particular. The shifted my my lens regarding food that I enjoy or the way that I look at the environment the way I can live in harmony with different things like that so I would say probably the region that influenced me. Those would have been Asia so especially Southeast Asia throughout like Malaysia and Indonesia and Thailand and Vietnam and places like that I think really were eye opening for me over the years. How about you yeah. I. I personally grew up in Switzerland and traveled quite a bit. It wasn't until I was probably about seventeen or so where maybe started venturing outages are more far flung places and they travel really opened up the world to you and let you kind of need to receptacle as new information and we try to kind of ship your land and kind of look at it and you normal. The first big trials I did live going to bungle up or close to two months center. I mean the whole country on different those transportation including camels and Horses Mountain bike tracking and that really was very impactful because most of the people we were seeing while wearing logan where no matter people living in their yours that as soon as we got back to the capital of Atari. We're in the place that was the modern city but people still didn't know how to live in the modern city. So you still saw yours that they used to use and the desert carrying everything that they that they own with them in the city with a fence around it so that kind of contract between traditional and modern way of why. I really struck me. Yeah that sounds like a really impactful experience to see firsthand. I'm really curious to know. Also just stepping back even a little bit. How seat foundation really got started so from what I understand trae you started the organization that Akira came on and I wanna just kind of hear about the logistics. The early days of what made you want to start this. And how did you both get involved? Yeah yeah definitely. So as I mentioned my background for for several years was environmental documentation and he kinda got to the point where documenting death and destruction on on on a regular basis. It just it. It was just too heavy You know and I wanted to do something that really inspired people like where I totally realize the importance of documentaries reality of the issue but a lot of it is death and destruction you know and I. It's hard to get people on board with images of you know blood and death so I grew up in a that was quite creative My grandfather was a professional musician and my mother was an artist. Creativity was always tool. That we use to problem solve so I just kinda relied on that. Being a foreigner and a foreign country at that time this would have been circuit. Two thousand nine. It's challenging to try to encourage people to change cultural habits. You know it I mean I always refer to it as like imagine if someone to the states from like Taiwan and was courage in people in the south of the US to you know. Give up their guns kind of thing. You know what manager what kind of reception they would get. I wanted to utilize creativity as a means to get people talking about these issues so when we first start well when I first started the organization my main focus was shark conservation I've always had it in the fascination with sharks I think most most kids do especially little boys like it's either dinosaurs or sharks and like for me. It's always been sharks and I never grew out of it so traveling to far off places to scuba dive and see these animals in the wild. This was back in the first decade of the two thousand. I noticed that these places that I was going to that I had read about and learn about their weren't charts and I started asking around and learn about this industrial. Sharpen trade where up to one hundred million or kill each year and charts tend to be one of these animals. They have really bad. Pr Due to media sensationalism like jaws and Shark Week and stuff like that so in two thousand eight. I uncovered the largest industrial sharpening operation in Asia and seeing an animal that I care about that match destroyed on this House of industrial level. You know on a daily basis and peak season was just just heartbreaking and that for me was a big shift where it was like. Okay you know. I UNDERSTAND A- cameras a weapon of mass destruction but at the same time I want to give people hope you know I. I think it's important. Inspired people to WanNa take action so I relied on my upbringing and focus on art. So I've been collecting art like just you know as I could and a younger. I GUESS. Professional collecting pieces here and there and I knew what I liked and so I started reaching out to some of the artists that I was collecting said. Hey I have this idea of potentially creating art show focusing on shark conservation to China White on sharks in a positive way. Would YOU BE INTERESTED? And the response was fantastic. Like you know I think most artists they have a more sensitive benches I think open mindedness or affection toward the environment and nature animals in general and the response was fantastic so I held my first art show in two thousand nine came up with the concept of Panja seed at that time and it was a success so like I incorporated music and should I incorporated film and and talk story sections kind of like the panel discussion with professionals in that specific field and the responses fantastic so it was kind of a light bulb moment for me where I realized that this is something that they can have some traction to it and I was looking at conservation in general around this time. You know two thousand nine two thousand ten I think the conservation arena was quite conservative or militant And both of those avenues didn't really you know resonate when they saw like I come from a background surfing and skating and Punk rock graffiti and hip hop and you know those th that was my language as a kid growing up. That's how I communicate with my friends and my community. At that time I wanted to use artists tool to communicate. And so that's kind of that was the birth. I guess a Penn. Gnc and over the next couple of years. I kept toying with the model and we were invited to do different projects around the world and it got to the point where it was like. Okay this can stay somewhat of a passion project or go for it and chase my dream. And that's what I did and we've been doing that nonstop ever since the organization has turned into different things in different ways and positive ways. And we don't have a blueprint for what we do. So there's a lot of trial and error but for me personally. I can't think of anything else. I'd rather be doing what I got a bit every day. So I guess I I kind of went off on a tangent there but I hope that answers. The question yes absolutely. I think it was actually a really great rundown of your background and how this organization has really come to be what it is today. I feel like I really appreciate your message of wanting to really solve these problems with creativity and encourage people to think about environmental issues in their own way and in their own community. And that example you gave of people from Taiwan just coming to the American south and telling them to give up their guns. I think that's also a really good example to give because it really emphasizes that a lot of these environmental believe sometimes or I mean beliefs in general but now we're speaking specifically about the environment. A lot of these are cultural beliefs or cultural values that people hold and it's it's kind of hard and it's kind of maybe it's not even necessarily difficult but it's intimidating and it's inherently like people don't want to change their mind about things they believe are true. I think that this is a massive task that we're all fighting to accomplish and getting people to think more about climate change and environmental concerns and environmental degradation and you really have to challenge people's beliefs in and encourage them to think for themselves and make those decisions. So it's definitely a difficult task. And I think that your concept of solving it creatively and getting people to talk about art is a really great way to accomplish. That goal awesome awesome. Yeah that's exactly how he filled and I said I was looking at a conservation arena in general around that time and nobody was really using creativity on the level. That I kind of envisioned. I think before we started the podcast. We were talking about your background as well and I think. I think it's exciting to hear that because I think we're kind of cut from the same cloth to some degree where looking at this field that tends to be kind of revolves around privilege circles and a lot of the discourse takes behind closed doors. But then you know those privileged communities and these are issues that affect everybody. You know. I mean everybody's got a stake in there so everybody needs to be active and engaged. And that's what really brought us to to push the medium of art as a tool for communication and I'm sure we'll get into that further once we're talking about different avenues ways that we use our as a tool of communication. Yes absolutely so I actually would love to get into how you are using art. I think that it's really really important to emphasize that you're doing. Work all over the world like you are really touching a lot of different kinds of communities and you're really maybe striking different chords so I'd love to hear a little bit about the logistics and the behind the scenes of your work and how you're really accomplishing all of these tasks like where the artists come from. How do you pick the sites? How do you pick the messages? How does this all work? Our main program over the past four or five years become she while Trojan are really groundbreaking public art project that brings the ocean venture the streets around world. And how we do that. Through the creation of scale Muros that address ocean environmental issues but also flanking events such as soon screening panel discussion. You workshop each in different types of events that are relevant to that local community and that are catch on the topic of protecting our ocean. And so because it's a very much obey like bottom coach. Mutate beauty lie on community members who are already invested in this world approach. I say I love what you do. I want to bring to my own home. Community and the stepping stone For UC wall projects to take flight. Is someone approaching and a kind of like betting them to make sure they've got the capacity and Kind of experience and connections to needy stakeholders to start creating this project and I would say. On average one of our large scale project that involved ten to twenty artists they take a bow and a half years eighteen months or so to to organize really starting from fundraising within the community to then really training and producing the side events. And just creating a wholesome holistic project. I think one of the reasons that the consul onto organizers because any pride ourselves inside great names about majority of funds locally being able to saucer local ownership is the key to making it a fix that rather than bringing for Sunday. The large corporations or foreign companies individual. So it's definitely kind of local first approach. Yeah definitely as a kid who was saying like I've always compared to what we do through the artists roaches program our our public art program. It's almost like circus coming to town. So you know like art. Board team granted behind the scenes. We've been working on this thing from like you know for like eighteen months at a time. We're on the ground for usually about three weeks for the actual project when it's in motion creating that community by in I think is absolutely critical and I think while while we're building the model of what. Pm GMC Foundation is our programs and what we do. We definitely take stock of our successes. And you know our our challenges and our cavaliers and also looking at like and we collaborate with a lot of different people. Were lucky enough to have been invited to some. You know some fantastic summits and events and different things like that. I try to always be aware of of how other people operate as well and pick things that I think are interesting that I work and say away from things that I feel like. Didn't and the approach that we have created with seawalls is quite unique and there is nothing like it at the moment around the world. So we're really proud of what we built. It's I think the perfect example of what grassroots activism can be and what it is and we're really excited just to see where it's going to go over the years then kind of how one of these projects slow where two point of inviting artists. We kind of look at some selecting very diverse artists from you know different backgrounds in gender and nationality login to cells and how to really create a global picture because we're all in this together to come together and then for this one and so from there they're available. They're scheduled open then we send him a topic that addresses different locally relevant issues that to to kind of inform their research process to create an artwork and on the ground before they could rush to all they go on field trips. So that can be different. Things like cultural variances. It works apple in location to our indigenous connection environmental field trips to get immersed in that environment and ready connection and only after they've completed those few days of kind of letting it off in they start on their euro. That's really interesting to me because if I am to look at a mural I feel like as a passer by I would never really expect or even suspects that there is this whole program. That really goes into that mural being created and that artist really being informed on the issues that they're speaking on so. I'm really glad that you actually share that. Because I'm thinking a little bit about like if I'm an artist that really wants to put together a mural with you. It's interesting to think that I'm going to say Oh. I really care about the ocean I would love to work on a seawall and there are a lot of different issues that you can tackle there. You can talk about ocean acidification. You can talk about loss of coral reefs. You can talk about plastic pollution and there are so many issues that touch ocean issues and ways that you can approach seawalls. It's interesting to think that an artist really needs to have such a holistic understanding of the problem before they can even start to attempt to communicate it definitely definitely and I mean this again. This has been something that's been trial area. When we first started the program back in two thousand fourteen we had kind of like a rough concept or approach from that and then we fine tune it over the years so now. I Think It's a Well oiled machine in terms of like how we educate ourselves in the lead up and then take that information. Then share that with the artist so they're equipped with the best possible approach to create a mural. That's going to impact the community and that's what it boils down to is. These are public service announcements to to some degree greater public service announcements. Were bypassing all the political hangups and red tape and attitudes and whatever else that Kinda run within these environments in this bypassing all that in in creating something. This is democratic and resource and bring it to the people but doing that. We do that in very informed and educated way because at the end of the day I mean the artists become the spokesperson for the created. So what we do at the end of each project. The artist create like an artist's statement a title to to really inform about you know what the murals stands for and what in action steps of what people can do. So we've created a database on the SEAWALL DOT. Org website catalogs four hundred meals that we painted around the world since two thousand fourteen since still a work in progress. It's always rolling because we're always at a time. But that's kind of like the landing page for people to learn about that. But the other thing that we try to do is create plaques that go with each new role in the locations that we painted and then that tax also has that information where it talks about the artisan where they're from the topic. They chose you know whether that's climate. Change Ocean acidification biodiversity loss or whatever coastal development with public art with anything in the public sector? You Know People WanNA learn a little more about it. They can inch closer and you know. There's information there if they want it we're trying to push that medium as well right now. With playing with different new technologies that people can learn from the murals via their cellphones. So like a personal interaction with a mural so we were always trying to think of new ideas and ways that we can engage communities and yeah. I think that's Kinda like the concept the whole the whole program has been. Let's bring the oceans in the streets because these are issues that as a kid who was saying or hyper relevant. Everybody's got a stake in this. But a lot of people are are disengaged or not formed. And how can we do that? We sell the public. Art is a fantastic medium for that and also beyond what we deliver to the public and and she's a final audience. We often try to essentially nurture artists to become those people and invested in this issue beyond the project so that included help them become is informed as possible without the Ritchie. And it's really not see what has happened over the past several years. You know people who had absolutely no interest in the eventual phenomenally talented artists that we are now becoming the advocates whether it's for oceans or maybe an environment that is considered a heart at home really quite inspiring to see that we've been able to kind of those artists hard and then when he do. These experiences are obviously not our impact and so on so every time we go to an hosting one of the artists Gadot Your Bible and typically it includes like a big starter kit to help them empower themselves to reduce their plastic footprint for example are like lunch deliveries to the artists while they're thinking they're always plastic free so we have to be readable lunchboxes that we traveled around here so arm. And then you know to think Just the massive influenced that we can have with these artists in the tens of millions if not hundreds of millions of people through each of the artists swallowing until we really kind of tapping into what we can home published by almost using these artists insurance or not supposed very popular these days so when like a younger artists are or someone who's really into street art or contemporary art they follow someone that has a half million followers and they see that that person is painting with us and they're advocating for maybe sustainable seafood options or educating about the impacts of coastal development. You know those are incredible opportunities to educate masses of individuals. So we've just been really utilizing that as a way to get people engaged who might not otherwise have that opportunity. I think it's really important to think about influence and impact that you can have on people's lives like you were mentioning a young artist. Who may be able to advocate for one particular issue? That's really touching to their community. I think that getting people more aware and really allowing environmental concerns and environmental advocacy to kind of seep into people's without even realizing it I think that's such a cool concept because when something like art or someone that they follow that may be really impacts them in some capacity. It's easy to feel like these issues are a lot more personal than just seeing a photo of dying. Polar bear and while that's really heartbreaking. A lot of the time if people have never seen a polar bear. That doesn't really feel like it's happening to them. It doesn't feel like climate change is happening or it doesn't feel like doesn't feel like all of these things are happening in their particular lives so I feel like that's a really important thing to emphasize just making sure that all of these issues feel tangible irrelevant to the communities and that also kind of makes me think. I'm curious to know if there's any project or any specific piece or even just a theme that may be really popular that you weren't expecting something had a much larger impact like a great success story that you weren't really anticipating. Yeah like happens quite regularly at this point you know like. I said we've created around four hundred seventeen countries with over three hundred artist since two thousand fourteen. So there's ripple effects there so we've seen collectives of artists like for example. We held one of our largest seawalls accusations in Cozumel Mexico. Back in two thousand fifteen and we had over fifty artists around the world painting and locally and before that I mean there there was public art on The Island. But it was. It was nothing of the caliber of what we brought to the table. And you know there's just there's legions of these younger graffiti writers or Street. Art Is that don't necessarily have an outlet to use their creativity per something positive so for them to see heroes. You know that they that they fire that they follow. They grew up with based their practice on. We like to say let's paint for a purpose. That's one of our mottoes. Great for purpose of paying for a purpose and to see their heroes. You know penny per purpose like really ignited a movement within this region Mexico and we saw like multiple collective start of artists coming together like one was called restore coral where they started creating murals across the river. Maya focusing on coral restoration and there was just different things like that. That were springing up people focusing on sea turtle conservation and that using art as this way to communicate to the public in their community for me. I mean that's one that's really. I think positive try to work with municipalities and governments. And things like that when there's that opportunity and we've been able to help influence policy over the years to create stronger protection. Status for turtles are Welsh Archer. Different things like that so yeah the ripple effect that has had over the years. It's just been amazing. Seeing other artists start their own non profits and different things like that twenty for me personally really inspires me on a daily basis that we tend to be so head down and focused on you know the projects and everything like that day to day mechanics of it that sometimes we don't get some focus on the full spectrum so to see those things come to live for. New Year's hyper exciting. Yeah there's definitely that we don't plan for and they just happen thing that we hope would happen that we can't create more so definitely what happened in Mexico that you surge of Euro. That was really firing. Then you send it in regions where you know. The people are historically franchised. And they're never they don't put represented in recently when we painted it saying boy. One of the News from Jamaica. He painted a picture in the goddess associated with the ocean surrounded by sharks and this was a housing structure and so for the residents of that neighborhood to be their culture representing Jewish factual meaningful way boom their minds away because historically US territory they saw business franchise and not really taking care of them so these are really heartfelt moments. You can't make those happen. Organically definitely ooh okay. Wow thank you so much for sharing that. That's really heartfelt like you mentioned. It's it's interesting to think that there are so many ways that people can impact their community. Now that you're speaking about creativity and artists finding ways to get these messages really saturated in their communities like painting on a low income housing project things like that. It's really hopeful and heartening for me to hear that these things are going on so just closing off. I would love to hear a little bit. If you have any thoughts on people using these creative methods to get environmental issues in the forefront I would love to hear just kind of your final philosophies on art and the impact that can have on environmental conservation. Oh well that's a big one. Sorry take that however you want. I'm sorry that was a big question. Sure well I mean like we look at it from the standpoint. You know like like the first murals ever recorded in human history. We're like you know by people depicting what they saw planes or wherever they were located art like that has been used as a communication tool for for you know since the beginning of humanity used to lead revolutions and spread information and we're not necessarily reinventing the wheel or just taking a medium that has a really powerful impact in just doing something different with it and for me. You know like I think for most people with the conservation arena. You're going to choose your battles. You know like what you're you're passionate about and a lot of us were were small nonprofits rely on donations and you know behind the scenes. People really don't see the amount of work that goes into it for us. This is seven days a week. There's no disconnect. You can't necessarily walk away from it and it's it's a lot of passion and wearing your heart on your sleeve is that it can take its toll overtime for sure but that being said we feel that art can be this incredible tool to engage in and educate people so as a kid who was saying before you know we try to work in communities. That don't really have this injected into it and bring something to these areas that tend to be forgotten by either governments or tourism. Or whatever you know. They're they're just kind of left. Behind a lot of times and disenfranchising they just let them consistently by the readers and constituents and being able to bring color and positively to a community to communities like that really ignites people and helps give them purpose in new drive. I feel that art is one of the best tools that we have to better inform to educate. I think most importantly inspired people because Dr so famous famous. You know people protect what they love and you love what you understand so a lot of these issues about the oceans like we were saying you know acidification pollution biodiversity loss whatever else. He's topics are challenging. Sometimes people to want to be engaged in or wrap their head around so she can do that in a creative and engaging way. I think you have an opportunity to start that dialogue which will then lead to action. Yeah I think we definitely don't view are yes definitely. Send me. To An end and you'll be to how to like people interaction. You realize that a painting isn't gonNA solve all these problems but it's GONNA get community engaged. Get them rallied around. Call them 'cause people who have completely divergent opinions? We'll come together and agree on the fact that this artwork is very beautiful and meaningful and so that's when the conversations that are really really important and critical right now. I'm happy and when people come together so I think that's really what we're hoping to achieve their work definitely were a species that you know really response to imagery and I think I mean you look like a lot of the you know the modern political and social movements that are happening around the world at the moment and you look at like the marching the women's March. What are people doing? Most people are holding signs. The art work it's creativity. It's it's a way to send a message Like when you look at CNN or BBC Aljazeera after those mega inch or whatever and the main thing that they're focusing our people holding signs because it's digital because it communicates so. I think artists is an incredible tool and as we were mentioning earlier. That's something that we try to do. You See Foundation to the artis. Roche's program is encouraged people to do LICEU creativity and that comes in all different formats. You know I mean. It's not just pen to paper. It's it can come in any form but utilize creativity your creative voice to help your community. Put some positivity into the little things ball and what we've been able to do through our program to collaborate with other nonprofit organization scientists who don't typically dabble in the field of creative storytelling and so it didn't really pentathlete to be able to kind of elevate their story lines and their important work art right because as we said earlier. Scientists often are not the best that communicating their research. You know way that everyday people understand wanted to know more and they get so wrapped up in the drive in so being able to kind of take this very important research at their produce and translate it into something catches people. Aren't that's definitely something that you love doing. Wow okay great. That was really great. Thank you so much for sharing that. I'm really thankful to have learned a little bit from you and heard your story. I would say I think it's important for people to be especially like in a in a location like the. Us White Privilege Compared to you know a lot of developing nations and locations around the world so we do have that luxury to to kind of think about the environment and you know our impact on that and I would imagine a lot of your. Listeners are somewhat tuned in or interested in the topic of Conservation. So it starts with you. You know I mean like these problems are massive but every person can make an impact you know no matter how big or how small lead by example is incredibly important and for organizations like ours. Were a small nonprofit and we rely on the generosity of people that believe in. You know the work that we do so if you are in a position to support you know consider donating donating your not not just funding but just donating your time. You know like look for a nonprofit doing good work in volunteer your talents for us. I was somewhat of an exception because I at the time that I started the organization. I kind of had an idea that was quite different from the usual suspects that were out there and we've been successful to build a model that is resonating and growing over time. But it's been interesting to see. For example like in the past couple of years say no to straws and reusable bottles and things like that have become popular and the amount of people that have jumped on that bandwagon. It's just astonishing and I think that can be confusing for consumers you know like what makes this better than this one if all these bottles are being made at once you know. How is that making any difference from aluminum or plastic or something like that so I think again you know using beaming individuals using your ingenuity and doing something unique. It's GonNa Inspire and help humanity is important and it's one thing that I think forgot to mention. Which is that all of the artists that come and participate in our large projects. They are volunteering. Their time and talent Either people who are very end. Who usually gets paid very well to be. He's large-scale murals When they when they get conditioned to do so but these artists take weeks at a time out of their schedules to come and volunteer their time with us and I think that is an invaluable resource choice that we are able to tap into where. It's very grateful for that awesome. I'm glad that you mentioned that. These artists are volunteers. Because I feel that really does add a different dimension to the idea that human ingenuity and talent and all these different skills that you're advocating for really our resources and they are really impactful things that people can give back to their community. So I'm really glad you mentioned that. Thank you definitely. And he's also quite amazing to see that many of the artists advocated with us. They've seen it on that with us on several occasions. Clearly they're gaining something from it right so the their unique experiences they got being the new environment and community were building trainers from all around the world that you know we kind of have like reunion projects around the world. They come together. They're all there for what they shed and being able to say that we're not just essentially taking advantage or created creativity per se but being able to provide them that very valuable experience and learning experience. I think that's something that hope. You enjoyed our chat with train. Akita of the Panja see to foundation again. Their website will be linked down below seawall dot org or Pin Jesse Dot Foundation. I will also have all of my socials linked down below at ECO chic. Podcast my personal pages down below our websites down below totally ekushey dot com. You can always email me. Laura Laura Diaz Rate Review and subscribe and. I look forward to talking to you all next week.

Asia ECO scientist TRAE seed foundation Laura Laura Diaz US Apple Taiwan skateboarding facebook Panja Seed Foundation Juicy Foundation Keita Switzerland
The Importance of Thank You

This Is Why You're Single

45:50 min | 1 year ago

The Importance of Thank You

"This is a head. Gum podcast Welcome to this. PODCAST I'm Marlene. And I'm Angela. Sparrow Co writers of the book. This is by your single every week. We highlight a different dating topic. This week's episode is the importance of thank. Thank you yes because it is. Thanks giving this week. Happy Thanksgiving everyone having thanksgiving. I'll spill in the lineup. We're talking about what's new in dating news. The new relationship ship status millennials are signing up for and who gets the dog after a divorce. Then we're diving into the mailbox to answer your listener questions including one listener. Who can't get past the first date and another who is fifty and looking for love? Prefers Angela. Just you know what's going on in your week So a few episodes roads back like a while ago. I had mentioned that an ex boyfriend of mine friend me on facebook. Yeah which we were like why you don't you don't need to do anything you you don't need to deny you could just like well. I accepted just because I was like. Yeah my life is awesome like yeah exactly I was like oh now I feel like I don't really update my facebook facebook that much but now I feel like I really care but I'm like I do WanNa put something forward to be like the Guy I see why you shouldn't have added because it's gotten in your head Ed and now it's affecting your social media choices for this ex boyfriend you don't even care about so purely insane though that when when we when I broke up with this person which was many many years ago. He unfunded me anti blocks me but he also blocked all my friends So but now all of a sudden my friends can see his facebook which means that he he had to like meticulously go through and unblock them all he didn't friend them again but he unblocked everyone. Oh my God always are so anyway anyway so now my friends can see him at One of my friends sent me a screen. Shot like jokingly of him and his girlfriend ha ha do whatever no look at who liked it and they look. My Dad liked it also often. I texted my dad and parents on social media is always a dangerous thing. They don't know what they're doing and the fact that he was even friends with him in the first place he he had told me he accidentally friend had him. He was an accident and I was like Dad Dad. That's weird but okay sure so then. I Texted Look Dad and I didn't want to get lost in translation over tax. Like anyone to think I was actually mad like I think you should not like this person's photos because he's GonNa think you like him better than in Blaine to your dad. The Mike Means I was like he's well in my crazy head. I was like he's going to think that he you wish that I was marrying him. Not Ian and that's so sad the sad my dad's first response is leave him alone. He's a nice kid my guy. He's very nice but maybe he can go be nice ice by himself all fall for adding and yeah. He doesn't have any spare family interaction while he's Nice on his own by himself and my dad was like stop being crazy crazy and I was like okay fide then. My Dad's like Alan French. I'm like no no because that was even crazy. Now make up just touch anything. Don't do anything just leave. Sologne him. Now we'll make it even it would make it look like even more elaborate. So I'm just like just like your dad is like going through some shit like has has like strong feelings like I'm an elect like it would look like that like was sarcastic yes like. Oh I like your girlfriend. Fuck you on fronted. You've moved move down for my daughter so I've I'm very stressed about this but it's okay we're all going to get through it. We're all adults here. Her from the dead. You're supposed to be loyal to meet your child loyalty to me and loyalty to remember that. So I'm just like just just just stays away Nick Knight or never ever ever breaking up. God forbid we ever do like Fo- show my family would still be. Yeah well yeah I mean. That's the thing like I've been together with a long time like were a gauge. So it's a little more serious but this was like college boyfriend. We were together thirty two years like just he was so no offense. If you're listening but irrelevant and I'm just like let's move on. A rattle is is like the meanest could. You didn't matter you don't matter enough for me to even dislike you. You're a relevant relevant. If it's a learning that was Har Sheree very handsome. I'm only harsh tie. I know. It's not something I would've said right after it happens but it's been quite some time now. Oh yes it was like two thousand ten so irrelevant well beams. But we're gonNA talk to Bob. What's going on your week so so nick and I had a nice week but we did get in an argument and I WANNA get your take on it? Okay so I really get excited about doing festive things in the fall especially living in New York. There's so many fun things to do so I saw that. There was a harvest festival in Randall's island. So I said we'RE GONNA go. We're going to go to Randall's island. We're we're bringing the Baby Harvest Festival Harvest Festival. I'm down painting Pumpkins. Let's do this up. Sounds great and nick is his attitude he was like oh he kind of side like. Why would we go do that when we could just walk around our neighborhood and granted I love where we live? Tip there's a lot of fun things to do. I really believe we have the best boutiques and restaurants and we have great parks. It's great here. I'd like to switch it up. Sometimes it's nice to see new things do cool things that might not be within our ten block radius of our house. Sure what it's the fall. You want to go do like harvesting things and exactly early and he was like. It's just like the logistic sound heart. I'm like it's a thirty minute drive would get the car seat. We put the baby in the carseat. We get an uber and we go Randall's island. It's not that hard. It's fine. He he kind of gave a little pushback and then I kind of went like ballistic. Thank you don't have to come. Why don't you want to do fun? Things I light and I shine bright and I want to have a vibrant life and like if you don't WanNa do fun things I don't you be my shadow putting out my light like a direct quote. That's direct quote can't argue with that so needless as like fide we'll Randall's island put out your light. I want you to live a vibrant. Lay Life and and You are a bright shining light. I will not shadow over your life so we get in the car. We go Randall's island we can't find this fucking harvestfestival anywhere. You're uber is driving all around. Finally find this harvest festival. It is a joke. A joke of a harvest festival actually in some harvest festivals. In my I time bullshit and this did not it was not even a harvest festival. They were selling like shit hot dogs from like a fold out table that I wasn't even part of the harvest festival. I think it was like a baseball all things like. They didn't even have the food. They had like no harvest things. They had a sign that said harvest festival. I think they spent more on the sign than they did on the actual harvest festival daily. We've miss it right. Yeah yes this is the harvest festival. It was such a joke. They were like oh go. See Our our outdoor farm which was like the firm was fine line. But like you could do that. Normally it wasn't anything like a harvest festival. It was so stupid and the whole time I was like God damn it Nixon like a told you so I told you so but how would I have known this harvest festival was gonna suck so hard. I'm actually very angry at the people that rough Randall's island and like I want. I want those four hours back of my life that you stole from me for getting in an Uber and like getting loss finding your stupid lot lot sixty two and then looking for this harvest festival that was a joke of a harvest festival. Like such Shet. While you were there did you feel like you had to be like. This is great so that you could win the argument. This is so much fun. I'm so glad we came. I actually took the lake. self-aware row got about that. I thought it'd be like Oh my God so fun like like. Oh look there's like a chicken and like and like Oh my God cool black. It was so ugly and it's just such a poorly done festival. The like I was like all right. I gotTa take the self-aware Angle. I was like this is so dumb. I can't believe these people call this a harvest festival. Just say neck. Just say I told you so. It's GonNa feel so good feel so good just say told you so just you. It was like no. You didn't know maybe would have been fine because he's a nice guy. He's he's the nicest human ever to live. But it's just so unfortunate. I was proven wrong. That's the real reason to write a complaint letter like you made me look bad like if this had been like such a we've been I've dragged nick to some events that have that he hasn't wanted to go to the end up being like soap on and he's like this was fun. I'm glad we did this. I thank you for like you know pulling me out and doing this actually. I don't think he's everything me but they've just been fun. Sure this was not one of them. So I'm so angry at Randall's island. Oh man as the nick of my relationship this is why I want your take. I do have to say it does feel good sometimes. Sometimes even if you don't say I told you so just to be able to silently gloat and be like this is GonNa suck and here we are and then maybe you'll think twice next time you drag me to some bullshit. Needless to say we're never going to Randall's island ever again. Well I'm sure that doesn't mean that your light will shine any less bright elsewhere. This is true on that note. We're GONNA take a quick sponsor bake AAC and the more jumping into what's in the news we would like to thank our sponsor rockies. The holiday means celebration with friends company parties. He's and family gatherings so why not stylish and feel comfortable all season long. I love rotties because of the sustainability aspect of the company. Here's a mind blowing fact By making their shoes using repurpose plastic water bottles Rossi's has diverted over thirty five million in water bottles from landfills already. and they're very comfortable shoes. I have these kind of high toppy one's called the Chelsea which very cool I try to ornament another color. They already he sold out. You've got like you gotta go on them. They're like someone out quick. Is You gotta get in there. I think about the rockies is that I can wear them and not worry about them getting dirty or anything because 'cause you can just easily throw them in your washing machine and clean them yet. That's my favorite thing. And I have. I have the best little Leopard pointy flats. I wear them all the time. They are the baths. I don't even want to tell you guys about them. Because I'm afraid the leopard will sell out and then I won't be able to buy more but giving this hot tip so the raw `this we love them. They are stylish. dilation comfortable they go with everything from Yoga Pants addresses and skirts rallies come in an ever changing array of colors prints and patterns and are available in a range of styles like sneakers loafers. Points and more you can keep an eye out for the holiday color color way launches coming out this season as as they are sure to sell out fast. They have playful designs that ad fun POPs of color perk up every Alpha while still looking polished and professional. Check out all the amazing using styles available right now at route these dot com slash single. Go to rocky's DOT COM that's R. O.. T. H. Y. S. dot com slash single to get your new favourite flats. It's in time for the holidays. Comfort Style and sustainability. These are the shoes you have been waiting for. had to write these dot com slash single. Today Ngelo what have you been reading about in the news to share with our people in me so I was so excited to find this article on refinery twenty nine because it says it's L. A.. T. The relationship status that more and more millennials are signing up for by Eric W Smith and I actually know a couple. That has a relationship like this but I didn't know it was like a trend and there was a label for it so L. E. T. stands for living apart together so the example. It was like Frida Frida Kahlo. who had a house next to Diego? Rivera sort of but it takes it even a step further and that it's like you're living in different states So the example that they had in this article they interviewed this couple where the girl they her husband got married they were living in Nebraska and then the girl got a job in La and ends. She like she wanted to take the job that the field that she works in there wasn't a lot of jobs in Nebraska. She moved and I think that they kind of thought it would be temporary. Sorry but now. They've been doing it for two years and they say they're long distance married and it works for them and I actually through a friend know another couple. Who has this exact situation situation where they were living in New York girl got a job in California and just like chuck it and they didn't really discuss what they were going to do about it because the guy was like the not that I want to stay in New York guessing it right? It's crazy to me like at least you got to discuss it to have this label in this title and to have a healthy relationship in the beginning. I'm moving Mike. My friend recently got a job at a TV show in L. A.. And she was living here with her boyfriend of very long time in New York. And and I'm going to La. And I was like. Oh what's your boyfriend doing. She's like he's staying here to do the long distance thing I was like. Oh that's cool but they're making it work and like guaranteed they've talked about it right exactly and like long distance. Pre Marriage is not unheard of but post marriage. It's usually they like. That's that's unheard of. Yeah but not unheard of that home in uncommon is what I meant yes But according to this article like as the definition affirmation of what a normal relationship is evolves. It's true for marriage as well. Whatever works for I feel so strongly about this? That relationships and marriages can look like anything anything you want them to look like. But the caveat is as long as both people agree. There's a respect and you talk about it. You just have to talk about it. You can date eight multiple people in our relationship. You can live on different sides of the world but you've got to be on the same page about whatever you want your relation to look like you can't just be like our relations. Elation broke like this and just do it right. You have to like find someone that that once that too. Yeah and I think something you have to be really cautious of something like this is like one one person going along with it because they want the other ones be happy and not because they actually think it would work for them because that could could like wind up ending in a relationship. I think if you really okay. We're GONNA move forward with this and do it because you said you're okay with it and then they're unhappy and it doesn't work but Yeah like in that situation I would say Like nick got some like art. You know thing far away. I think the way that we would do it is as if he was like okay. I'M GONNA go move. I don't think he'd ever want to do this. And I'm like too obsessed with him. I I know that this would not know me but not in in any kind of long term thing for sure. Yeah no not for a long term but I guess if you're like okay we're gonNA come we're going to fly back and forth this many times and you know whatever however I think the underlying thing for the person that's more unsure about it would be like okay. We'll do this for you know three months or six months but like if I'm not happy like you have to like quit your job or you have to move back if you want this relationship to work because you have to have a trial while I would say like a trial period. Yeah that would be my recommendation. Yeah but apparently there's an APP created for people that are specifically seeking out this kind of relationship that just like like having their own independence and like apart so it's called if you're interested if you're into this kind of thing it's called a partners it's dating APP. And apparently the the founder said that interest in this spikes when Paltrow said that her and her husband were living in separate houses. Oh Yeah I love that. She's she's quite the trendsetter does she shared it. That goofy girl But yeah and like I guess Kelly Koko also is She's the actress from Big Bang. Theory she also is not living with her husband. They live in separate houses for them. It works for some people if you're looking for that sort of arrangement going a partners For me I'm good living living in the same place. I do like my own space sometimes. But like on a short-term basis no long term thing What are you reading that I'm reading near Times? This is an article. Oh by Stephen. Petro and he writes after a divorce. who gets the dog? And we've got a lot of emails about this. We've talked about this on the show. I was really happy to finally have an article that talks a little bit about it. Also my hairstylist. While I'm talking about on the show like told me like the last time I was in. She's like yeah. I I know but I still talk to my act so I was like why she's like well. We share a dog. Oh no so many people do this and then you end up. It's hard to move on but I get it. Your dog is your is your child so he got so this Guy Steven. This was like a personal essay that he wrote so he was in a very long relationship. Ebb He was married and decided to get divorced from his husband and he basically said that the divorce it was pretty easy. You know a A. They split up any property that they had collected over their marriage any property and money before whatever all of that was fine until they got the dog because technically like they had the dog something like twelve years together but his husband had had it one year prior so his husband like brought the dog to the relationship in had it one year and Stephen but Stephen a known him so long he felt like like this is my dog too and so he he requested yet. They've been they've I've been married for four years. They were together for thirteen. Total and the dog was fourteen years so he had been with the stock for thirteen out of the the dogs. Fourteen years of life. Someone really wants to be petty though. Really all that matters is who's on the adoption papers and then that person can choose to be kind of share. The husband his husband was because has yes husband had him for a year. So dogs are treated like property as sad as that is treated like. TV's Thir- treated like cars. There's regardless he asked for joint custody and got like a quick a quick no he said like you know he'd gone deeply attached to the dog and his his husband emailed same. Like my lawyer did advise me that Zoe is considered personal property and as such. It is my decision into make about her future. You can't always have what you want. Who Burn honestly though? Probably doing him a favor because staying in touch with your ex breath and like having to coordinate the weekends for the dog and all that it's just like it's GonNa it's too complicated now but some states are making changes because they're realizing that like dogs are more than just pieces of property so there's three states Illinois Alaska and this year California effective this year California. They've amended their Family Code. Treat treat pets differently from other types of marital assets So they're they're treating it differently. I don't like the exact technicalities like in the law. Aw but but some states are realizing that that dogs are not just items. Yeah they've also. California judges have been permitted to consider the wellbeing of the animal as well as who provided. It's care and working out custody arrangements so I like that like even technically. It was one person's dog like let's say like another person. Did like ninety percent of the caretaking so this Guy Steven goes in his lawyer's office and his lawyers like why don't you offer sixteen grand to your husband Spenc- we'll give you the dog for them much like what I don't want to offer like sixteen grand. So so he basically said like no. I'm not going to do that. And then a few weeks after he had like considered doing that though he gets an email from his husband saying. I'm not suggesting this but would you be interested in Zoe fulltime. I just moved into a building that doesn't allow dogs uh-huh so I don't know I don't know like what you know. I guess maybe is husband wasn't as attached to the dog is possible and maybe he realized like being a single dog. Dad added a lot of work. I think that's probably what it was so so steven ended up getting the dog as it was he took full custody and Ecorse as other than was like. I'm not going to pay for an care because I'm never going to see her again. So Wow Karsh messed up. So what what. What is lawyers recommended? What Stephen recommends is what is what? He's calling a pet nap like a prenuptial agreement for your pet. He said if they say it's the best way to avoid custody. Disputes when the relationship dissolves options can include sole custody joint custody and even support like child child support. So I wanNA know your thoughts on whether you think a pet nup is a good idea for me. I think it's just as awkward as I mean. We've had divorced attorneys on here that say like pre-nuptial agreement. You GotTa do right. I think like doing like a pet nap is just. Because they're not as communist prenup agreements it. It just feels so cynical like hayes like when we break up like we'll talk about who's taking the dog and I just think there's no it'd be like working out like a child custody the city agreement before you give birth your child a little bit but I will say like I have a friend who just went through this who went through a break up and and they got a dog and the dog didn't really take to. The boyfriend really wanted to get the dog so made them get the dog and the boyfriend ends. The relationship and the dog didn't wind up not liking the guy so it was just kind of like an unspoken thing. Like the dog's going to stay with my friend end. But it's very expensive to have a dog. It's a lot of work and it's been very stressful. That on top of a break up. I mean it's also been nice having the dog there but she she has been lucky in the sense that like financially he contributed wow bills and stuff and he was cool about like signing over the adoption. Papers I to her. But she's lucky that he wasn't a psycho about it. Some people can be for sure he sounds like he was respectful. Nice person and like the way the rooms of the dogs okay. Good all right. Well there you go so I don't know it's something to consider is like they're you know this Guy Steven went through hell. After his divorce with a dog he knew for thirteen years. He's suggesting a pet up just throwing that out there so many consider. I'm undecided whether I endorse a pet upper. Not I think if you like really really really love your dog and I can't imagine life without them than it is definitely considering. I feel that way about Samo but I'm not GONNA do. A pet up with neck. LOVES THEIR PET. But it's like you you know how complicated am I willing to let my life. Get for my pet. I Dunno all right. We're going to jump into our mailbox. I will take a quick sponsor break. We'd like to thank our sponsor movement guys black Friday's here and so is movement watches biggest sale of the year for limited time only every single thing movement dot com which is M. V. M. T. dot com no vowels is on sale the hundreds of premium watches blue light glasses sonny's and jewelry styles dials with a fresh new discount just in time for the holidays and all of your gifting needs whenever people tell me. They're looking for an affordable watch. I always recommend movement. They're so cute. They're are so cute and stylish and affordable end. I loved her sunglasses. I loved her sunglasses. Sunglasses I love the names of things. It's like a lot of named of things from California. I have this rose gold watch. 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I've been getting their meals for awhile now for breakfast and for dinner I do two meals a day. They offer breakfast lunch and dinner so I just I love them. They're already made out. Don't make the myself. I've done the stuff where you get the ingredients. Then you make the thing. I don't have time to make the thing anymore because I got a baby so so I like that. It's already made for me. I just have to heat it up or it sometimes is something where I don't need to heat it up and I can just eat it right away and honestly Angela. The food is so so crazy crazy. Good yet I feel like I'm eating vitamins. It's just like all vegetables and like good ingredients. Look on the back of something it tells you all the ingredients like I. I wouldn't even know where to find this stuff and whole foods and it's all in like a waffle it's crazy. Wow and then they do snacks to your right. They sent you some bars that you have. I love bars. They just launched the beauty bar. That has all these good minerals and good things in it that make your skin glow. I get their chocolates. I eat to chocolates every night. A probiotic chocolate and a beauty chocolate in the morning. I make myself a little water with their beauty water. I'm out there. There's a car detox. T's I do it all. I'm MM obsessed beauty water. And they have food angel for breakfast I have banana pudding parfait it taste like banana pudding from like magnolias bakery. But it's just food. That's all good good for you and it's making you more beautiful. It's so crazy good They have these burgers I had a Pumpkin Pie Parfait for breakfast the other day. What else have I eaten I had they had oh roasted peach Chana Masala a maple sweet potato bowl like crazy. Good food there. Classic Chop Salad is very popular. They have this truffle mushroom pasta. The food is so good. And it's all technically it's Vegan again. 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Laura was like Exa like kiss and a hug ex. Oh Laura for twenty percent off at Sikora Dot Com S. A. K. A. R. A. DOT COM. All Right Angela. It's time to jump in. Turn Mail box before where you read us. The questions that we have this week I just wanted to read one. Nice email that we got because this week is the importance of thank you. Oh so we got someone showing us. It's a little a little thinks that made made us feel really good so we got an email that said hi there. I discovered your podcast literally a few days ago. And absolutely love it I'm a thirty four year old guy currently going through divorce with my wife. You're encouraging inclusive. Taking relationship advice has been really helpful as I work through the feeling of loss and insecurity inherent into my situation. Thank you so much putting it out there dropping you a five star I tunes review and Ordering Your Book now wishes and thanks again. Walk us now I I love you arcus. People are probably gonNA fake email like too good to be true like everything we want everything we why is pleased by your book and rate US nicely on itunes and just say nice things about us but but like we very rarely get like just full love emails because you know people if they have got we want criticism to and if people have critique or something that we said bothered them we want to hear about that of course People don't usually take the time to just write like nicest hell emails about how they love US and how they're buying our book they might just buy it on their own and be quiet about it which I also love and shake about how we all I mean like when I have a great experience at a restaurant. I don't always reach out about that but when I have a terrible one I'm like where is their yelp page. Jags so very nice. That Locke's took the time to do this at thank you walk us all right. What do we have in our mailbox? Okay I E. Mail is from H.. and H rates. Dear Angela and Laura I have been happily single for two years down after my last relationship. I really dedicated some time to work on myself loving myself and creating a life that I want to live. I'm happier than I have ever been in my life and truly joyful about where I am I love my friends. I'm furthering my career with a master's degree I am active and live in interesting life. Everything sounds great so far She says during the single time I have also so explored some casual sexual relationships. But now I've come to realize that I want something more therefore I am a bit taken aback by the Danie experiences. I've had these past six months. None of my date seemed to go past the first date from at least fifteen people. I've only met two men more than once. It is always them to call it off. I hear a lot of our date was nice but I'm not interested in seeing you again. All these men are Nice and interesting people who I would've loved to see again. They're not ghosting me. But after so many similar experiences I'm beginning to feel there is something wrong with me and the new confident. Happy me on dates. I try to stay casual bit flirty but nothing sexual. I ask questions after the date. I often feel really good about the time time we had together. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong and it is starting to wear me down. I deleted all dating APPs because the constant rejection am. I too ugly my going after the wrong people to give off the wrong vibe and my profiles or my simply really bad at first impressions your big sisterly advice on your podcast as always made me feel more hopeful about love and dating so I would love to hear your input. Oh I know a hard one to read on. It's so hard to it's honestly sounds like you're doing everything right it. It's hard for me to know without actually going on a date with you because the things that I would normally suggest the people are like you know be a little. Don't be too standoffish. But like you know. Don't be overly flirty. You just met this person you know they need to win you over and the biggest one is. I would say ask a lot of questions. Yeah studies have shown that people feel the more people talk to you the more they feel closer to you versus like you spilling everything to them. They're not gonNA feels those close so make sure you ask a lot of questions to people that would be and you said you're doing all these things I would always say like. Focus John You and like be haunting you. You took time to do that. You also took time to like just hook up with people. I think this honestly just from from everything. You're saying assuming your account is is accurate which that's all I have to go by. I'm just going to say it's like one of those things where you just have to shoot a lot of darts and like you're eventually going to land on one like for me okay. I I never had a relationship that went past three months which I know sounds like a lot longer. If you're not getting past the second date which you have from like two of the fifteen but I. My first long-term relationship was nick ended up being my husband so I wear a lot of. My friends had multiple long term relationships and I felt like I'm just one of those people who can't have a boyfriend so I've been where you're at before and just thought like people just don't WanNa like stay in a long term relationship with me. I'm like there must speeches something about me. Like people don't want like Damian commie their girlfriend and like that was really how I felt for a very long time in my life. So I do think that you're just GONNA have to like shoot a Lotta Darts like if this is important to you. Stay at it Yeah and make sure. Your profile is is accurate. That's the the only other thing I could think of. Is that like they're seeing your dating profile and then meeting you and like something about it feels like inaccurate. And they're like Oh she's a nice person but like it wasn't who who. I thought I was going to go out with whether it's like accurate pictures or accurate description your profile. That might not be the case. But I'm just throwing that out there as an idea. That's all those is and then just keep shooting darts and hopefully. We'll get a bullseye. Yeah and end. The I agree with everything lawyer said and the only other thing that stands out to me about your email l. is how you said. Is there something wrong with the new confident me and like I can promise you that. Maybe you're not doing everything perfectly. There's no way for us to know but I really would not not encourage you to take a step back in the confidence area because that is like a valuable important thing and that's definitely not the problem so keep leaning into that don't train. Don't don't be like Laura earlier and try and dim your light. Don't want somebody show your light Habsi a bright light. What else we got in the mail? Box okay. Next up we have an email from an anonymous listener. Who they say they are almost fifty and looking for love Sushi rates? I'm forty nine years. Old and recently gently started online dating. Never been in a romantic and or sexual relationship longer than three months. Those relationships ended. Because I realized I either had different values or wanted. Different long-term things from those people so relationships ended instead of both of us trying to force something. I took a ten year break from dating due to a sexual trauma experienced ready to date after a lot of therapy and spiritual work. My question is when do I tell a potential long term partner about my lack of long-term longterm dating and lack of sexual experience overall. I date both men and women. Don't WanNa Freak anybody out so far. I've only met two people face to face face and wasn't enough chemistry for a second date when someone has asked what why I am looking I have just said. I haven't met the right person yet. Which is true? I mean I think this is maybe an insecurity that you have That you haven't been in a long relationship more than three months because I know for me like I just said I didn't have a relation that went longer than three months and it was an insecurity. Now I look back. I'm like that wasn't that sure. I mean I look like three months like that I I felt people out a moved on in like dating. I would just say like Oh. I don't know I've dated somebody but like I'm really happy with WHO I am and I've never wanted to date anybody long-term but now I'm realizing that's maybe something that I want and I would just frame it in a very confident tone. which kind of sounds like what you're you are saying you're saying I I just haven't met the right person yet? Which is true it is true? That's all you gotta say Just because you're fifty and you're not divorced say but that's not necessarily good thing to be a divorce say it's not a bad thing it's a neutral thing exactly it's a neutral it's a neutral thing thing that you're not something that you have to be. You don't have to be that that that's not a thing you need on your dating resume not something that necessarily would like hurt you. It's just it's it's neither here nor there. You are just like forty nine year old. Who's been like dating? Sometimes you've taken a break to work on yourself like you. You did for ten years sometimes you you. You've like fit. Here's a long time. They time where you have had time to date. You've done different things things you switched it up you've dated taking breaks and like and it's all good and it's all fine and I think the answer you're giving is perfect. Yeah and I would also say to just I remember that like this is an issue that you haven't even encountered yet. It's an issue that you anticipate someone else having with you but that doesn't mean that it's true like you're letting this become this fear in your head it's going to be a turn off to other people but like has it been a turnoff yet to the people that you've dated. What evidence do you have that it's been a turn off? That's what I would ask yourself probably none so I just don't like focus on it and actually what you should be doing right now is what you've been doing is keep dating for for yourself to make not make up for lost time but like you want to figure out what you like and what you're looking for so you're just doing little field research rate now. Enjoy the field research. Absolutely if you want your listener questions answered or if you have any messages you WANNA share in Melissa contact this wire single show dot com. You can also find Oliver Oliver Contact Info on our website at this single show dot com. Please be concise paragraph or less if you want it on the show now. Let's dive into our reason of the week in this week's reason is the importance of thank you. We cannot overstate. How important positive reinforcement is you need to tell people? Thank you when they do small things in in a relationship you know it might start to get like easy to take things for granted when your partner does nice things you kind of have to to remind yourself to keep saying thank you. For example nick makes the bed every morning and so I still try to remind myself like. Oh thank you. I'll be like. Oh so what. I'm still doing web SAMO. WHO's our dog? Isn't it. So Nice to get into a made bed like like. Oh so nice Apopka to make the bed for US nick. It's me like Macho Latsis. Every morning walks the dog. The baby's where I was like. Oh thank you so much you know just a nice thing I get done with my workout and got a much waiting for me. Don't get used to these things. I hope that I never get used these things things I need to like. Keep saying thank you or your partner is going to start to feel unappreciated and resentful. That the things are doing are being taken advantage. which yeah and I think that sometimes saying thank you actions can speak louder than words so you can give a verbal thank you but then also ask yourself like what am I doing doing for them in return like how showing? Thanks absolutely also I would. I would encourage you guys to Google. This article called what Shamu taught me me about a happy marriage in the New York Times. It's like an article from. I think like two thousand six. Yeah it's a popularizer from two thousand six. A wife tries to improve of her husband by using exotic animal training techniques. And I'm just GonNa like I am. I'm basically just going to like like synthesize it down. I'm like one sentence but it was basically like positive reinforcement so like instead of getting angrier. Husband she she. She started use positive reinforcement. Which I think is related? So if you're interested didn't like learning a little more about this personal essay it was like a viral one in like the time still talks about what shampoo taught me about a happy marriage edge. So yeah the more you think people the easier. It is to communicate frustrations when they're padded with. Nice things that you appreciate. My therapist told me that. So it's it's great to do this in emails to like two people who are not your partner like if you have to tell them some bad news you're like oh I really like love this about this. Can you change this one thing and I also Oh love this I also. I love the movie that nobody's ever heard of it. There's a movie called happy. Thank you more please. That was written by Josh Radnor at. It's basically the title is good happens to you. Just say to the universe. Happy thank you more please. So like if you're going to date say happy thinking more to the universe. It sounds three woo but I've done it and it does make it grounds. You and I love the moment. Tell everyone what you're thankful for. People are going to like you more. Tell people what a great friend they are. Tell people we'll help talented. They are just give compliments lot without being in genuine or croupier over the top because that makes people uncomfortable like whenever I see people and they're like Oh my God I love your dress lay like oh my Gosh Josh. And if they go too over the top starts to make me very uncomfortable right so do authentic compliments but people you know if you're doing that Shit right people love hanging out people who like them and appreciate them so just say thank you to everyone around you. Tell your teachers much you like them. Tell your friends how much you like them. Tell your boss us when thank you for showing me that you're really good at this. One thing your boss is GonNa like. You're going to get a promotion. Yeah if you say thank you to save on that it is not no. It's time for our reason other week. Break Duh This thanksgiving so it's time for us to find our own gratitude and thanks. We are going to take. Turns listing our top things. We are thankful for in a game. We call thanks. Thanks for real thanks. Are you ready. Yes and I love this game all right so we're just going to go back and forth and talk about things that we're thankful for in life Ready Yeah I'm ready for my son being healthy and Qaeda's fuck oh cute. I'm thankful for having new new friends at work because having a work friend makes the day go by so much faster. I'm thankful for Knicks Cute but I'm grateful for having some some new goals else for the next year that I've set for myself yes. I'm thankful for succession being better after episode to my God. That's a good one honestly. I am grateful. Oh for my attraction to Kendall Roy even though it makes me hate myself I also feel a lot of hours thinking about it love it. I'm thankful for ABC's opening opening across the street from me. There's a lot of really cool stores opening up. ooh I'm grateful for my group chat with my friends. Oh I love that I'm thankful for the wing. It's just been like a really cool place to work at. And I'm just grateful that I have like a nice schoolwork space. I'm thankful to Ian for being a good dad to our plants. It's he brought them to the plant doctor the other day and they're looking very healthy. Oh that's so nice of him. I'm thankful for multi car life. They've made me feel healthier and feel. Oh better. And I'm just I become like a macek SNOB and Macho expert and I love it. Wow I'm grateful for our podcast for our listeners. who honestly like really brightened my day as sometimes with their emails? Yes sometimes they get really nice ones like like walkers yeah. I'm thankful that I have a new book coming out this year. That was a big gold. Mine that I'm that I'm really happy about that's big big deal. What else migrate before? I'm grateful that I live in a city that I love in the neighborhood that I love in cute little apartment that every day. I'm grateful fold not have roommates in. Oh my God I know you've just been so much happier since you guys moved into your new place. And lastly I'm thankful for you Angela for being such a cool work partner and work wife. If and I'm just grateful that I met you found you back in two thousand thirteen. My God we go way back or all we shared do so. Thank you Angela for being you thank you for are being you guys. We hope you've heard up this week's reason and we hope it inspires you to find a little things and gratitude in your life. We really are thankful for all of our listeners. That is it for this weeks. This is why you're single podcast. Check book it's available on Amazon Barnes and noble and our audio book on audible and you can get hooked up with discounts from all of our sponsors for fullest of sponsors in the code. Owed check out our podcast page on this single show dot com. We are also unsocial so you can follow us on Instagram and twitter at your single show please like and subscribe an it. Thank you for listening to next week for whole new show Being that was a hate gum podcast.

Nick Knight Angela partner Randall California Laura Laura Stephen facebook Guy Steven Ian Nebraska La US Josh Radnor New York Dot Com
8/28: RNC Review + Florida Man - Fart Fighting, Witch Murder, Tiny Net Traps

Hard Factor

1:02:58 hr | 9 months ago

8/28: RNC Review + Florida Man - Fart Fighting, Witch Murder, Tiny Net Traps

"Would it is. Joe Man Randy savage this factor in the risk no one that does it better right now. Nobody does it better? Myself. Go ahead. told me something right down. Welcome to another episode of Art Backtra. Barstool News Network it is Florida Man Friday August Twenty eight twenty twenty. As the beef's birthday August twenty. At first they be. At Berkeley Birthday Pat Year, was nineteen sixty eight. It was a hot day in August in. Neptune. New Jersey. When my mother one time or the in her life experience experienced the depression. was rushed to the hospital to give birth to me. So already claiming to be He's leaning into the nineteen sixty that was designed to eighty six. He's I. Think he's leaning into you mean to. Two years. Old Well, happy birthday. Yeah I'm not that dyslexic read fuck up the year I was born which. Say Eighty Five. Eighty five, eighty, five. Your birthday brings good luck. Thank God Hurricane Laura Laura. However, she likes to go by was not nearly as bad as advertise. That's good. I was up all night watching hurricane coverage the what happening I checked in a little bit but it was a category four but he talked about how sped up to category for? Well, it's sped up really fast and a slow down really fast hit the coast. It was like a to the brakes were on right away. But the good news was the storm just kept moving like like the clouds kept going north so. It's slowed down. So it was just wind damage for the most part not much of a storm surge and then just boop kept going up the state's moved move due north and fifty miles an hour and it entered the. Land very unpopulated location. It was Cameron Louise Best, possible outcome, and you know obviously not for Cameron Louisiana and some of those places it was horrible outcome. But for the general populations in those areas, it was the least populated area to him and it went straight up, you love scene a storm fail. Sorry schemes. More Stamina next time. Nice. Nice training in the off season. UPC's Shit. Charles got smashed like Galveston and triangle on the Texas border of Louisiana find. They thought it was going to be horrible. They didn't even get like much at all. That's right. Yeah. Well. Lower was no match for the beads birthday. So thanks rank beef, sit down Laura. I'm smash smashed. Got Got RNC's stuff coming up mark's going to do this or we're not. We're not doing it at the top. We're going to feel like it's been a hectic lots of heavy topics. So we're going to sue you into the weekend into into into your Friday with some Florida men headlines up. I just let laughs. Let's get some laughs so good time here Friday. Let's get it going then this first one from. Frank. Thank you frank of the name. Frank. we're going to get into that but first we're gonNA give you an update not to worry guys they will lane Pittman is the shirtless Florida man who battles hurricanes with his head banging red hair slayer American flag. CAIN wrangler. Yeah. Yeah. He's well, he's back in action any any took on Laura probably the one of the main reasons why Laura just didn't steal hands. Lane Pittman was they're doing his thing and Lord decided to get out of there as quickly could cause lane meant business. You put out some new artwork on twitter. He's now at ten thousand followers on twitter and he might be sponsored by White Waffle House to now I'm not sure. But the team, the beef and and Pitman up together. I love waffle. Could get some. Covered come on camera handle that get down there with lane. A her. That's for sure. No. Talking about wop. Shit. So. Lia. To me out you can follow me on twitter at the Big Guy Ninety four by the way what does he get funded for being awesome well, he he gets funded to go fight hurricanes. He goes he goes into Turkey eight protests hurricanes with American flag imagine trying to explain that to your parents. Now what does it go jogging? Does he feel money? See. How FEMA, just give them money to like fly around he she. From The official spokesperson of Fema he should lobby trump for that. The try to try to get this hurricanes whichever president is I hope that his dad is a meteorologist. Don't understand. And he's like lane it doesn't work. It doesn't it? Doesn't it? Out Your Way and I help him. If. He if he leans into this a couple more hurricanes, he's going to be very famous. If he keeps me, he's does if he's The head. With a brick of flying brick right man no. Stop Signs I was watching coverage all night last night and it was like or gutters off the side of. A building? Roof and. The House yet stores waiting for. Just, to get decapitated on one of these things and I'm like nervous tree branches I mean, that's probably the biggest odd right well, it factory. Factors yeah. I was saying I would say to my wife last night I don't know if you guys have you guys ever like sat out in a hurricane or like really strong winds like that. So what they should do is just have a really hard to see because it's it's just wind and rain and past screen this one like a wide on trees because like you can always see like the moonlight or whatever the like the ambient light and then the darkness of the trees, and then you could see how fast the trees or waving up. Yeah. In person when I was a kid in new. Jersey. I was living on the Jersey shore and I saw and I knew it was bad when I saw my clubhouse. which is a pretty decent clubhouse dancing across the yard before slamming into a tree. Right over one one summer between College T. Myself and four others lived at the beach all summer. There was a hurricane in north. Carolina and Kill Devil Hills we went out. We're like walking distance the beach where we lived. So we went out during the hurricane and it was zero visibility because the sand was just like you know flying really fast. You couldn't see we just were getting hit by like a billion little pinpricks from the sand and we'd out hurt took. We just took it and then we went out on the water and people were like you probably do. Fuck you. Sandstorm. Anyway lanes back doing his thing he's also got a gofundme page I don't have the link, but you can. You can find it for Laura Relief. In case you wanted to fund his hurricanes fighting lifestyle. I think I don't I don't know if he's actually using it for Laura relief for to fight the next hurricane, but we're trying to get him on the show if you know having get in touch with us because. We talk to him, but I give to the people of Cameron Louisiana then, Lane. Right, priorities get us in touch with lane and donate to feel why don't we get in touch? Why don't we have lane tell you what he thinks. You should do nationalize scenario in the meantime Cameron, but he's a freightliner. All right. Well, let's move on to the real story. I just want to give you update on lane from anonymous Frank guys when someone farts a lot and it's and it's really foul and offensive each and every time it can really test patients especially if you live with that person in close quarters living, with pat or PF. T no consideration for others no decency just fuck you farts all day long. And apparently, that kind of behavior was too much for forty year old Laura Largo Florida woman Nicole Coal. Does. Does voice who is physically attacked her father who she lived with because the man was attempting to get his forty year old daughter the fuck out of his house by way of farting are out. So What Pussy honestly this guy. He's dealing with his forty year old daughter by farting on her I mean that's that's why she's not out of the House No. I think that he was reduced to this to this measure. Things right. I'm sure that it was just terrible her raising him as as his daughter. Yeah She's forty. She's still in the house you gotta you gotTa. RESORT TO UNORTHODOX methods to get her out she has. There's a reason she's forty and she's in the House and. Interest of single pair of Khaki or gray or black pants. It's all sweatpants for this guy. Like. Doing, pull my finger and she keeps on for it keeps loosening the boss stretchy band on his sweatpants and just some stink comes out. Strong. He could have done something before she got forty and that's something could have been more than him just farting on her. Right. Yeah. Because better could have been a better debt I don't know I really know the whole. Yeah who Yeah just the guest anyway So he he relentlessly fart around until she lost it leaving him with a bloody left eye and scratches Oliver Neck and his neck, and if there was sixty seconds I would have liked to witness from from these these two stories I guarantee you it's this. It's like the time that he he she dared him too far one more time, and then like him giving her the Middle Finger and then rip and the attack, and then the him calling the cops and be like. Down here again and then. A stray cat shoved. Nicole there look by Nicole you don't WanNa smell her dad's farts if you know what I mean like. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Oh come on. Yeah. She's forty two. She looks like she's sixty three right? That's an old forty. That's constant. Farts will do to you right. Whatever else they're doing their Code. The only gas that's being inhaled, right? No no anyway she was charged with domestic battery and. The house was repossessed. Oh Yeah. I'm about to fumigated. Problem. Terrible it's bad. Around. The House. Sheep. He calls himself the fumigators. And eating a meal. Like Gary and beans. No and what's coming. Later On. You so much tonight I feel bad for her she doesn't look forty. farting approach. Five. Ads. He's gotTA. Look rough to. All right. All right. WHO's up next thousand feel good. One I thought we were. As a good feel good into the weekend style, right? Just, like this one, this one's actually happy though. It's GonNa to make you feel real good real good because it's about edibles coming in from notable cannabis connoisseur Mark's wife a Florida woman herself. The Sunshine State has approved edibles for medical marijuana production and distribution effective immediately right away the noodles new rules published this week by the Florida Department of Health, Office of medical marijuana use and they were on Wednesday give the states marijuana industry permission to sell products and I guess you know obviously produce them in the state as well. Licensed dispensaries. Can produce the THC infused edibles like Brownies and candy, and it's limited to lozenges, baked goods, gelatins, chocolates, or drink powders. So what else he's good at what? Exactly sounds good. Yeah. The one issue that gelatins does work candies that that bear resemblance to any other candy that's commercially available will not be permitted so you can't make gummy bears, but you could make like a company square. Okay Said, the animal shelter will be produced in a manner to minimize colored density. Now, they're other visual characteristics that may attract children. So we should have this. That's fine. This is good. Every state should have this. It's like you have to like you have to like kind of like limits that I wish I kind of because it's like. Hot You. Can't get your hot pink. Gumy's your gummy bears. The cool like you should make it look like. Like a big, we'd leave you know like we have like a cool design. You can't do it though in any state because it's got like a square that says to do. Distribution Yea. They're worried distribute. Yeah. Down like the piece you got to do it. I'm to me would be cool molds wrestlers faces would be exactly macho. Man. That'd be. Yes, small concessions to get what you want. You could play games with it. You could pop the undertaker and do the sit up motion. Take. This. Exactly see what if you had that that'd be cool but. Gelatine moulds and like the like the golden girls like that's not going to be kids. But that's still fun. You know kids aren't going to be attracted that. Anything that's even remotely attractive. They'll. They'll. They'll Banyu for. Me when those Arthur's. Badly that they'll they'll be like. That looks cool. So the rules take effect me like I was saying because obviously they do because people love weed and money and they always have they always will taking it to the Internet fits from the Harto Hive says. Oh he sent in a a article about a letter from over fifty current and former law enforcement professionals urging Congress to take swift action on legislation introduced. Last year seeks to decriminalize marijuana and expunged pass convictions federally the bill is hr three, eight, eight, four it probably will not pass this year, but they should just do one better and just make it legal for the cops get it off the list together that'd be somebody who study about how much money will save. If we just freed all the people who are in jail for marijuana convictions a bet it'd be a ton of cash that's part of it because it would. Allow them basically the letters stating that it would allow police departments to better allocate money because you wouldn't have to be planning for all these like low problem vendors and stuff the problem with all these studies you know we're talking about like the statistics saving money is like the person that's GonNa come up with probably a we'd lover. So are you really trust that going to really follow through with the? Current and former pro. So Dan I mean. I probably wouldn't trust their report to be honest with you. Literally. Everyone. Bill Bill Bar Bill Burr. I'm pro-legalisation I'm just I just say a lot of money I'm not going to believe their exact number. That's true. All right. Guys on the tip of law enforcement. Let's check in with their boy greedy judd down there in Florida. This one's from Intern Patricia, at Ideal Patricia, America's Sheriff Boys, Grady Judd, and the overlord of Polk County is at it again and you guys may remember grady. From his every Friday? Yeah. Every Friday, he speak very much being. Don't fuck around and Paul Downing or you're GonNa die now whether or not things have really escalated ever in. Polk County, we don't know but we have it because his county is always on the show there was there was. There was a white guy that lived in a trailer park that shot and killed three other white guys that he went to school with and that had his brother, his brother and white girlfriend help clean the bodies up and they went to McDonald's and bought one hundred dollars. Worth of McDonald's remember that massacre we covered a couple of yes but that's Is Talking About Judas talking about an impending invasion of potential. Looters and rioters. Had A two, hundred, seventy felon the guy took seventy felonies and he was shooting people. Just, throwing that out there yet guys in Grady Judd has a message for any you out there that are thinking about coming to polk, county and Messin on around going to play the clip here guys you can play it and you're allowed to play it. It's not too. Now. Like he's like we have received information and social media that some of the. Criminals were going to take their criminal conduct into the neighborhoods. I would tell them if you value your life, you probably shouldn't do that in Polk County. Because the people of Polk County like guns. They have guns. I encourage them to own guns and they're going to be in their homes tonight. With guns loaded. And if you try to break into their homes to steal. To set fires. I'm highly recommending. They'd blow you back out of the House with your guns. Also leading the community alone. Yeah, he do this after that. Speech I. Don't understand like Pat Stanley he thinks it's like a Zombie apocalypse throws a protest in Wisconsin that means that they're common. Nicer coming for Polk County, what does he talk about? Judge has together. The protests. Shooting last time. He gets Amanda though. He he's so concerned I mean look I'm happy polk counties. Armed and I. Think, it's going to happen. Is. He's trying to pre preeminent pre- preemptive. Y You give the sate, literally the same. Time, yes people love they do it and. Play the hits it's like free. They just. I imagine it's goes along with the signs he puts up like you're now entering Polk County, we will blow you away and some people like Oh this place sounds awesome. He's creating Friday night plans for them because you know. Yes. Sickly. The guns. The door with the guns guys. On the converse on the subject of Sheriffs, I wanNA play you Sheriff David Beth of Kenosha. County, we saw him yesterday. Do a press conference on the Wisconsin stuff. Here's a clip from him in two thousand, eighteen that I thought was a little bit interesting. Society has to come to a thrash threshold where there's some people that aren't worth saving. We need to build warehouses to put these people into it and lock them away for the rest of their lives. Let's put them in jail. LEX Stop Them from. Truly, at least some of these mails going out and getting ten other women pregnant and having small children. LEX. Put them away at some point. We have to stop being politically correct and I don't care what race care how old they are. If there's a threshold that they cross. These people have to be warehouse. No recreational. Genius. We put them. We put them Waist GonNa Warehouse. What does he say I mean it's it's just prison. In short I think he's talking about like Looney bin. have. Like you know like shutter island like that's the warehouse. Warehouse is different than the prison. You thank. You gotta be warehouse. There's no no chance of getting out of it. So it's a one way ticket to the. I. Get. It we've. Talked about that day. He said any or and said any race, any age fucks up. The The warehouse sold go out there and get ten women pregnant and have all these little little Jesus criminal. You he is. He's he's G that's the G. Plan. He's the black bag. He doesn't want you having too many kids they'll. It'll be warehouse. It's really just extreme. He's like he's like the entire community and hot fuzz. They just want to have a perfect community and if you jay walk they literally. They killed all the jugglers killed all the Jaywalkers unlike the loiterers like just to have a good good town image energy and Sheriff David Beth over there was. David. That's been surfacing but. Anyway that's what's going on with the law enforcement Ann Arbor Sheriff graduates but hey, guys seriously do not fuck around and polk county tonight. No you it. Speech Again Watch out kids are going to be like garage hopping and getting their heads blown off in Polk County. Yeah. You don't want it. That's the bad part. Right is like you don't WanNa fuck around and be like a little shit in a place where people are sitting. Waiting for people to come on the. Can't play flashlight tag and Polk County no way no way Dude No. More. Kick the bucket. I'll tell you what I've said this that I've said it again. When you go from not owning a gun to owning a gun. The for like immediately your perception to things that might be noises outside your house change immediately. But I'll tell you that like you before you have a gun here and I was like, that's probably nothing when you have a gun, you hear noisy like I wonder what that is you have to go for the gun. Night's your night. Just up and that he's up in that natural feeling you have and. They. Love Him and poke. It's exciting. Really. Exciting. Claims. Oh you got well. I do like how he's promoting like regular use. You got to keep those things cleaned oil safest way. So I mean like you got you got if you're going to be if you're gonNA use what you got practice with the Muslims Backfire Likely. Prime in people up to just sit there waiting for somebody to come on their property. That's that seems. Quite, you know maybe it's GonNa be a Lotta easy chairs dragged in front of the door. Grady Judd gets off a long shift in this opens a can of Bush's beans and eats out of the can and just stats up shop in front of US door. Shotgun. One shell honey honey. On shift here. There's GONNA so many groups of drunk dudes just leading each other on false noises. Here. COMMUNICATING THEIR CB radio. Yeah I think. Just me firing annoys that turned out to be nothing. You guys believe in witches, witchcraft craft spells potions. No of course not well, what do you mean believe in it? Do you think it's possible that there are. Not. Spells, potions yeah I mean. I'll I'll I have an open mind to it? Gone elaborate. Just, spirituality in general I have an open mind to all of it and do you think it's more of like an a healing thing or do you think you can cast a spell like? Spells. I'm intrigued by. He talking like astrology are you talking about like a wand and a broomstick? About, probably somebody who's like doing something with a book and then there's some sort of ingredients. Like a Voodoo doll. But like. Yeah. You're not closing the door on well. You believe in curses you can. For witches. Curse this? Yes. Yeah. You'd never you'd never be open to it at all. That's true I like to keep an open mind you go on West which is okay. Sure. Forty year old Michael Custodio. Car carvajal of Port Saint Lucie. Sure Shit does definitely he's will which is why he tried to break spell he thought was cast on him by killing the spell caster a woman he believed to be a real life which Oh yeah. Apparently one one of the victims went to go to a home to pick up a friend where they were practising a Santamaria religious ceremony, which is an African. Worth Yeah Yeah Cube anyway sounds sounds interesting mix between like some African religion can kick false only is. It like a circle some of those tense. You can look at like the other one with the girl that was there at the end like the xbox and. He got bit by like his mom's boyfriend and that's what I meant. Yeah Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The only problem is the woman picking up her friend knew that the NUTJOB carvajal would be there and that he thought she was a witch. So when her friend were in a car about to leave the scene all the sudden carnivals. Chrysler came hauling ass, block them in, and that's when cars of all got out and shot into the car once. Because you have to shoot a witch and kill her with the first shot otherwise, it doesn't work. Run Shooting and then run. You can't let you and I. Turn to stone something like that. Anyway he's got arrested and charged with trying to kill a human being with a weapon. Look. Come on man. Sometimes You wonder right things happen to you and you just wonder while could it be something a little bit more I was thinking assure so. Okay. Tell me finish I WANNA. Get One. Spelled you have. No. I'm saying I can relate to the guy not. He shouldn't have tried to kill the person who thought cats spell but this is something I actually thought the other day that what if the pain in my shoulder that I got when I was working out was actually released by government chip and they were just trying to. Convince me that I was weaker than I am. But that's not a winch. That's weird. That's very weird. That's. Where things come from you can't. Even open mind. Do you think this guy told the detectives and interrogating room that she was in which yes. Yeah. I do do do you think they kept a straight face? No not a chance. They're like, well, you shouldn't have missed, but now you're trying. To protect you. This lady was in his life he he had no control over that. Along with it they're like, oh, shoot she coming here. Yeah. They started like. Doing Weird Shit to. Start pulling salt around in a circle on the floor work with our walking. Backwards. I can't. I'm trying to walk forwards. No work we're dropping charges even go. We'll just go get out. Get Get out. so He's in jail. But Hey. You know what's better than getting a spell cast on you buy a Florida which that's right. Winning money with predicted the best place to bet on politics. Predicted that was going to say not much. Slash heart factor twenty, two, twenty bucks on US start winning today. Best thing never locked into a bet like sports betting get in out whenever you want. Let's look at the market in North Carolina they have voted Republican every presidential election since nineteen eighty except for two, thousand eight, which means they voted. Obama in but we're sick of them by two thousand twelve and voted for Mitt Romney. Right now predicted, you can get in on Republicans winning at just fifty seven cents in North Carolina. So lots of meat left on that stake. The polls. Say, they are tied history says it's an our lock, but you know twenty twenty s crazy. My money is going are what do you guys think? Yeah I mean I think that there's some of these states. And this one in Ohio I feel like are probably too. You can start to sort of shift more towards the are category Colin North, Carolina and Ohio, but then I the. Start Snapping in North Carolina definitely going read. Your fifty seven cents I mean that's a great deal right now. So yeah. Predicted Dot Org Slash Promo Slash Heart factor twenty people we worried about North Carolina and probably because of how solidly Blue Virginia's turned I. That's locked to for Blue Yeah. Virginia. But now I think we're a think North Carolina's read Arizona's an interesting one. It was read last election but I think it's flipped blue in the polls and the McCain's obviously have gone against trump and endorsed they vote for southern southern Democrats only in arizona-based Arizona's blue I think which is interesting because it was read last time I think they'll where they've predominantly go read they will vote for a southern born Democrat in the presidency like they voted for Clinton and someone else out of people are saying live in Arizona it's going blue. Yeah. Yeah. So we'll see I mean I wouldn't doubt IT I. The states are my favorite too but I don't think trump's got much going on. You know certainly west of. Texas, for the most part, it's like. March madness right where you can bet on like when when the election happens, there's there's what fifty states you can bet on like twelve. You. Can Bet on a bunch of them and just watch the chips come in and you lose a few you went up. Oh Yeah and and and the picks we've been given out on this. If you've been following them, you're already getting paid back because I know that by the tax put Texas Iowa Minnesota's they want blue couple blue locks to and I know that they've all been appreciating yeah, oh. Yes. So go to predicted that org slash promo. Slash Heart factor twenty. It's it is fun as fuck. We don't just talk about it. We live it we give it a shot. We're giving you a free twenty bucks to play with to get to know the site before the real action like mark says before basically November madness hits literally have nothing to lose if you don't like it, take your twenty and Ron, but we think you'll really like it. So seriously give it a shot. It's a Lotta Fun. do it Do it now. All right. Let's move on to immokalee. Makali'i Florida. got. Nailed. It sounds Indian. No chance that's it a churn MacAulay Collie Imo. Cali Florida Lamb Moke Alea. One of those three Florida. Last Thursday. Night, we're to Florida men were just in a backyard having a good time probably telling tales of strippers includes when all of a sudden they heard a loud crash on the other side of the house. What could it be? So they you know meandered over to the other side and have a look and they find eighteen year old sill Vero Sanchez Ramirez trying to rip the door handle off one of the lock trucks in the yard and then when. There's no way his name and Silver Areo. Zip. Over so very. Oh. spotted. Them. Like Silver Larry Oh. The first one silver Larry. Silvio. We used to call the area. Now, he's only Mexican brand. A So. Very, we're still barrio spotted them so. They rolled up on various try to rip the door off. They spot. And then. He. GETS HE FREAKS OUT? So he starts ripping the windshield wipers off the truck and punching the windshield, the front of it. Like a territorial display. Animal. The floor. Wild. Wipe and these down with no wipers. Yeah. They ever seen a man punch like this. To your car. In your completely fenced in backyard that inside of the. Truck. Yeah then then Slipped away into the bushes about twenty five, twenty feet away from the trip truck. But like I was saying, the entire yard was fenced in. So he was trying to steal a truck inside a fenced in yard with people in it. And then after short, regroup and search the yard, one of the men found vario and spooked him into jumping over the fence but that man also followed him into the next yard but this time after the short break, he brought his tiny net with him that he cast he tossed it out, cast it over the top of scenario, and then he trapped him inside the net. Then he held him down in the neighbor's yard until the cops arrived so. fucking love this. He netted he got him with a net dude. This needs to happen more often nonlethal. It's effective. We need to get nets out there have you. have. You ever been netted I've never been I've wanted to I've tried to commit crimes communities so I could. Right yeah. It's it's so effective. It's illegal to use in fishing right? A lot of fishing like outlawed. Let's say the. Top to effective ways to get someone without gun would be a net or quicksand. Quitting yeah or spear. Reportable though mark no the nets easier. Yeah. That's number one sword would would do pretty well to note that would kill that would take a net I'll take a net over sort anything. He said a gun was number one son going. Th Death is on the table here. We we're saying we're saying nonlethal. Yeah now. If you're, A. And you get like one weapon like the guy that has the net and the Trident wins gladiator battle because he just gets you into net and then he pulls you in and then tried and true in the stomach see that's different because then I then I could say yeah. That's killing right. Well, the net is going to is going to trap the person. Then you can do whatever you want with the person for the net is just incapacitates you immediately lasso it's like Alaska with training wheels on the net is You'RE GONNA hit your target pretty often us really hard. Laso on cocaine or crack because the last like. Just you haven't by the waste, but they can flail around the net they can't move any limb. Yeah I thought the foam shotgun shells were pretty hilarious. Also. Hoist. If you get them by a net, you can hoist them up. With them and keep them. On a tree or something. Like Predator yeah. Very effective weapon indeed too good for scenario, and he's now facing multiple charges. So shame and get invested in that scenario. All. Right guys we're. GonNa take. But this is sponsored by Danny infertility is a huge problem for guys and things don't get better as we age really at all. Women are like fine wine they reach their sexual peak when they're older all sorts not great for guys. 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We're providing special limited time offer the Barstool community, the heart factor community. Fifty dollars off your first purchase. Go to Daddy Kit Dot com to order your first kit enter Promo Code factor fifty one word all caps factor fifty during checkout, and then it's a hundred and forty nine dollars. Me This thing is ten times more convenient and. Cheap. Get Your insurance involved I mean this is this absolutely notable. We don't have an drive to a place. You don't want to wait in line and then feel disgusting and then do a disgusting thing and then Yeah Oh. Yeah you're right well. What Do you. Guys as promised. Let's get to the RNC recap. Quick caveat similar to the DNC. I didn't watch much of this live assuming you guys to neither we write record and editor to daily shows in the afternoons and evenings. So Watch, I watched a lot of this but I did it on Youtube after the fact and the DNC we didn't get to see the big dog speak as we recorded before trump's speech Thursday night, we recording right before it. So the at the end we're going to play a little game of hypothesis of how that speech went, but let's cover days one through three. Day One, the headliners Monday night included south, Carolina Senator Tim, Scott, and former UN ambassador Nikki Haley who's also a former South Carolina state rep. So between them and Jim Clyburn who gave Biden the primary and basically. Just. gave him the when Dourson South, Carolina. A big golden two, thousand, twenty. I didn't realize how influential Lindsey Graham to balance. Go Out South Carolina. So I thought Nikki Haley and Tim Scott both did a good job particularly when Hayley was talking about unity and working together across the aisle and saying you know like. One side or the other side's. anti-us and Blah Blah. But we should work together I like that part of it. And I think one, both of these people on Nikki Haley and Tim Scott will be on a ticket sooner for the Republican Party. That's the favourite I believe for the twenty twenty four Republicans tickets Haley. I would aliens the as President Scott as the VP. Yeah they're both they're both have a bright future in the Republican Party for sure. Did you guys thoughts on? On those headliners. I thought that I agree with you. I mean I think that Scott. In particular has been a guy who's received a lot of criticism even though I feel like he's tried to, you know do the best he can. This year especially with the police bill. You know I mean he was the one that put forward. The Republican side that got then completely ignored in that stalemated but he he did try. He did mention that in the speech. That He. That he's claiming that his side of Congress has been trying well, yeah I mean they did and then and then Schumer and the the Harris and booker you know the leaders on dim side in the Senate said, no, we don't WanNa work with your bill. We want to work with the House Tim's bill and that made it. But yeah, I mean, it's but yeah, I'd like I thought that he's been somebody who's deserves deserve to get some time to talk this year so. Only criticism is she used the term socialist left, which is against socialism and democratic socialism two very different things pisses me off leaders use that term like like the left who embrace democratic socialism, which isn't really Joe Biden a moderate. pissed me off and they throw the social interprets they just try to rile up the base I. Agree with you. Pat That is. They did they did that a lot you're on C., like for it seemed like the DNC's main thing was blaming. Specifically Donald Trump in. Corona Publicans, chronic virus deaths, and now the RNC basically blamed. The DNC for writing the Democrats were rioting and said that threatened that there would only get worse because they want socialism. They said that funding right? Well, that that's a part of it like you're going to our socialism. Not Democratic social but a socialist world if you go was like their attack on the main tax, they're taking on their propaganda also day one was donald trump junior. Multiple time guest of heart factor and his current girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoil who both got pretty intense. Specifically Kimberly who was literally screaming at the top of her lungs people get on me for yelling on the show that was yelling. She was recorded. It was crazy so much. So that cocaine Hashtag trending immediately and when is the next day because? No, no one no one not on cocaine would scream that march. Factory was recorded. Was Mind Boggling. Thing you know. It was just like what like? Aired if it was prerecorded like she must have been horst the next day, it was screaming at the top of your lungs. She I loved the meam though 'cause you know she literally is an embodiment of Rita the bad bad guy from power rangers like it's very similar to her energy is very similar to the dubbed the bengals version. Out Vernon. Jones. A democratic state representative from Georgia also spoke on Day One and of course Marc Patricia mccloskey the Saint Louis couple who. Protesters outside their matching and became instant meme. The base. That's. Like. They're just up Nice lays, Charlton Heston like on their on their standard. Speech though I. Haven't had him on the show twice like knowing his dynamic like and his energy, and then seeing that speech was frustrating because clearly someone wrote at four him. On every. Energy then he pushes normally and he was fighting the culture where there's you know you're not GonNa, you can't go to church. You know they're going to be able to essentially they're taking away your ability to Christian, which is effective arguments when when when, when protect. Churches. Not at the DNC RNC's the rich they're they're scripted by they're all scripted out well in advance feature. Yeah. That's how it is like I saw different. City they. Do. This message this person's GonNa give the rest of your message. I trump speeches. This is war and I took a lot of the DNC speeches as we're going to have a serious problem if this continues it was like, no, he but there. Is a battle for the soul of our nation and we are the light and their the dark. That's the DNC. The real similar in that, which is different than than than the DNC which condemned one candidate, not entire Party where He is taking general being yet they're trying to good versus evil. Yeah but. Say they're evils divisive. Yeah, but I also saw more RNC talking about reaching across the island working with them. So some of them dating. Someone both at the RMC and also the game plans a little different because because the RNC's the incumbent to presidency and they are scared, they're going to get the Senate flipped in the Democrats know they're GonNa win the House and they think they can flip the Senate. The Republicans are going against everyone whereas the Democrats are confident in the Congress both parties and they want the presidency. So that's a little bit different of a strategy to day to was the weakest lineup to me at least I thought so and at least memorable as well. So I'M GONNA try to fly through the air. Day Right. Eric Trump, and tiffany. Dates you brought us also nick I own you CNN Sandman heated a short speech saying he stood up to the media and it wasn't that bad. You know for a seventeen or eighteen year old kid is thought it did well enough for himself but I did notice the Sandman man should take some of that CNN money. He wanted a defamation lawsuit and get some braces. There the first place the because he's in San man just get them the fuck out of here like they shouldn't be here. They're distractions and they're fucking ridiculous just they shouldn't be living. A symbol to say we're not going to let the cancel mob run over you. That's what that's what Two of them committed fucking crime which the cost. Knew what they were there to say that they should. have been charged with a crime that was the whole point they were there and that we were that was that was their speech. Sanmen sounds like he was born with three tongues but trump also captain twice on Tuesday wants to grant a bank robber a full pardon and he hosted a naturalization ceremony to to to make Right because that's way in line with his rhetoric plus. Citizens ceremony. Blew me the fuck away I was like come on dude come on. Did I did the bank robber kill anyone or was it just a bank robbery because? I didn't research that enough. But trump loves granting pardons and really who doesn't love a good pardoning story especially the camera. Yeah? Right. It didn't hurt anyone and just robbed the bank who cares about the fucking bang good for that guy forgotten pardon. Melania trump also did a speech was at the new rose? Garden I, I don't know. She is. She's. was outside right it was outside she's to striking to me. She reminds me of like a nineteen seventies movie star Yeah like she's she was wearing that really. FANCY JACKET LIKE FASHION MODEL As can't I can't listen to her? So I don't know. I. Don't really know what she said because I was just like. Shocked at how striking she looks. Beautiful but it's like watching. Like eight hundred. Bad. Yeah, Yeah Yeah this is what I'm saying she's got this like old school vied tour. Ninety Renton Patricia Blake she should be fashion modeling. I agree it's not really Official to maybe she wasn't. Yeah she was a model and she also was potentially you know she was There's a reason that where she's from what? Slovenia Austria Slovenia believe isn't it? Yeah. There's a reason her donald met and it wasn't because they had mutual friends so. They do this dance in the World Cup with screwing in a lightbulb. Earn say it's really small world when you've got a pair of incredible tits. mccracken. pompilio talked Eric Trumpets Anthony spoke, but it wasn't not a lot of like moments day to. Play the hits on the Republican side like anti-criminal imigrants antiabortion. Not, moments. Day? Three. South Dakota Governor Christie nome White, house, press, Secretary Kayla Macintosh she made a big stir both well, former ambassador at the heart factor interviewee Richard Grenell Kelly in Vice President Mike Pence for all some of those speakers on day three big names Wednesday was the day that forgotten. That was all day three the mcenaney was. She. was positioned there was a huge. Let's make it out. Make trump out to be a supporter of women like that was a big thing that was what he was doing this Laura. Day was. The Lord is my favorite though this was the best. This is the most ironic thing. I've ever since Laura trump who's married eric she she she she says what she said she goes Abraham Lincoln once famously said America will never be destroyed from the outside if we falter and lose our freedoms. We destroyed ourselves right. So Lincoln never said that that was a meme that was made up to attack the squad and circulated on the Internet last year. Yes. Trick that speechwriters fired the same night, the kid the kid in the wheelchair. Medicine cawthorn he. He's. Jackass. Another incorrect historical he said James Madison signed because he's twenty five Madison Cawthorn the wheelchair from North Carolina that's running for Congress, one of the primary. He said you know link Lincoln ran for president for the first time was twenty two. He mentioned something about someone else when they were twenty and he said to my personal favorite James. Madison signed the Declaration of Independence. When he was twenty five James Madison never signed the Declaration of Independence I guess but you know we'll. It wasn't. A Historical fact checkers had a huge. Whoops many were saying Rick Grenell Electric by the way, and it was that it was the second best performance in two, thousand, twenty of course, distantly behind his heart factor interview. That's what everybody said. Great speech nonetheless, if you haven't seen that interview with Rick Rick Grenell Heart factor go to the to patient. Factors Youtube page subscribe, and check that out. Great Interview Kelly was good. She's a good speaker clearly, very smart She talked about pre existing conditions being covered in healthcare. Her kids wanted military people. She didn't scream like guilfoil loud and confident I thought I thought Katie was very like she's a good speaker. She's always together. Yeah. She's up and comer obviously put speech. Let's talk about the pen speech at Fort Mchenry what'd you guys think? I mean, he he definitely was playing hit the hits to I love how I mean I thought it was interesting comfortably smug said something on twitter. During the pen speech about how everybody? Journals claiming Haley was coming to take over the party going to take his place as the VP. Right candidate this time around and they they knew nothing and pence is well loved by the Conservative Party, which is very true. I think that you know there's a misconception about how pence is maybe people are embarrassed by pence the Republican Party that cannot be further from the truth I. Think the mainstream media believe that but the, but it's not true I thought his speech was very. Boring and I think him and Kamala or come la when they when they debate looking Carmela. Learn how to say, Mike Pence and Kamla. When they debate he's going to be one of the most boring fucking things I've ever seen in my life because neither of them are great I don't know disagree I think that surprised me you decided different. Perspective pence I was one of those people that's like this guy's fucking Schlub. The left think that. People don't payment box. Saying most people, mainstream media. So He's been painted that way by the media that he he is some kind of bumbling fool and he's not. Yeah I. Think he spoke well over thirty minutes and do think that they will have I'm interested now in the debates with Kamla Harrison him I I will be paying attention but yeah, he kept the crowd engaged one of my favorite parts from not were He got a lot of cheers of the crowd because he was he did a good job Bun. There was two times where I'm assuming it was the same person in the crowd tried to start four more years chant and a USA, and it was just him and it didn't pick up. It wasn't really appropriate. To do in that in that environment I also liked the environment I thought it was cool the. was. Nice. So much better than than. Yeah. But then he finally got more years Chen after. After pence called for it, he's like four more years and then the guy's like, yeah. Half. The crowd channel four years but I loved it when the guy had tried to get the check on and he couldn't funny. I thought pence did pretty good I. I couldn't believe that his mom is alive first of all. Healthy people like there was something about. Mike. Pence being like thanks for being here. Mom like my jaw hit the ground was like what? Yeah I mean yeah and you know he calls her mother by the way she was only eighty eighty seven by the way least sixty one. So I mean it makes sense I'm always surprised when old dudes are. Yeah. Hey, mom, I'm like. Well, that's. Pens. Pencils pens in a `Nigma to the mainstream Marco wasn't trying to say like you're on the Left I. What I'm saying is like the media at large, the MSNBC's the CNN's the the everybody who sort of tends to shade left. They have sort of had this. Preconception. Preconception notion that pence has just some dummy and it's just not. As consumer of of that media, I can tell you yes that that seems to be the case. I thought it was weird though I mean you know whatever the Fort? McHenry was very strategically chosen. It's interesting for them to go back to like a spot of the war of eighteen twelve right which is relevant but honestly relevant unless you're constitutionalist than you know he's he's more. Yeah but. They were they were harping on the Star spangled banner with Francis Scott Key wrote there I guess. But there's also a song that's. Exclusionary in the third standards to a lot of Americans talks about slavery in the third stands, east check it out if you haven't. So that's cool. I get what you're trying to do trying to like Stoke Americanism. But I you know I. Would have chose something more relevant. I guess something more communist hated probably Commie some. La No Evil California. Star search. Types out in. Vegas shooting in the Star spangled banner it is absolutely slavery mentioned the starts. At the time. No and that's fine and that's fine. But also we're seeing a lot of things they were written at the time which excluded members of our country and they still feel you know for sure. For sure. Over? No you're. You're signed beef overall. I'd say the RNC was slightly better production value than the DNC they didn't try to have much fun like with the celebrity hosts it was more brass tacks and quality production. More like we talked about like American flags and you know that type of thing. Just like the DNC was. We are right and you're wrong to the other side finger pointing on the other side and just like the DNC thought it was born I personally don't get too jazzed up for these things that just me no I mean the live crowd like gave it some some energy but still. POW politics in general is the most low energy sport was the Pencil pre-tape was or was it live? Most of them while the Wednesday night was mostly live. That's one thing I did notice to pence immediately came out and started talking about Hurricane Laura and not what's going on in Wisconsin so we address one major issues happening. Seems I, mean it seemed like it didn't look many cuts little and the crowd was there. So I mean whether pre taped or not he he gave a speech to a live crowd pretty large lifeguards I mean it was a good speech thought I mean he's surprised me I think that the VP debates will be good I think both good I just think it'd be Boring I. Hope you're right in that. They're actually exciting though I think they will be now what do you think about? Donald? Trump What do you think? You said last night. We we don't. We didn't want to in this race where the trump. Read for stuff. I'm preface it with Nancy Pelosi came out sight. There's oppose it came out earlier in the day and said that the Democrats have already come down enough and they're not going to budge anymore on the stimulus bill. That they refused to budge and and that's teed up for him today as well as there's stuff going on in Wisconsin and other cities. So, what do you think she also came out and said that Biden should definitely not debate trump says he's gonNA. Yeah. He's definitely gonNA touch on that because he was it would just be foolish to give the him the privilege even debate for the presidency the United States feel like. Isn't that like historically, there's been presidential debates is not like precedent. Oh. Yeah. It's run by a non partisan organization. They're GONNA do it but she doesn't think that he should. She should debate. I'm trump's GONNA say some divisive ships. The writing I. Do you guys both expect that. Are you worried? Yes. Donald trump just say some divisive shit about the protests going to say lawn he's going to say that he's yeah. He's going to split the same rhetoric that you know the media is certainly going to spin it much further in that direction. That's for sure. Mentioned he's the law and order candidate I. Hope he goes more of the unity route I think that's Wrong. Of Corporate, the country would needs a leader right now especially yes you know what's happening I hope he goes more of the unity route I don't think that he's going to abandon law and order candidate altogether but. Hopefully. Focuses more on the unity but we we will. Big Moment for him in already happened by the time you're listening to this hopefully wills right That's it. We have electric vice president debate and an amazing leadership. Speech. Until the election moment we need it right and a stimulus bill. Perfect. Ramo shooting of Cox. gummy bears and Florida. Yeah, right. You can make edibles in any shape you you. Guys will. Hey. We're going to punt voicemails to next Wednesday, I'm GonNa go through reviews, real quick. Of US was foster view on apple podcast will read on Air. Let's do this real quick because we're running along guys from Kamdi. Who's got the smallest Dick? The smallest stick is title of the review in the quest probably amongst. Certainly I'm certainly a grower well myself to. Grow. I got enough to to make a baby. Depends on how trimmed Right. It's not me I know that. Oh Wow. Okay. I've low. The rest of us. There you go. Way Bad silent. No I was just saying I wouldn't I wouldn't say a West said that's. That's a big. No. No one's ever called. Dick Saudis always talking about. I'm not. GonNa I'm not GonNa admit the other way. That's right. Okay. All right. Next one goes from Brown to two nine, six, go mavs Yarmuth podcast wouldn't have my mornings. Any other way can Yada is a clown Hashtag Vive twenty, twenty four. And this McGee Ninety Four. The details. I'll take it. I'll run. McGee Ninety four, keep these guys are on Portnoy best and only news outlet I listened to been for a year now and wish I started sooner everyone I tell these guys i. look forward to hearing you guys every day. Hard factor never disappoint keep on killing a H. D Boys have a great fucking day y'all. Do Age Fifty A. Big Ounce called in this will be relevant next week big outs, call Dan and said, we jump to a little bit of a conclusion too soon about. The calverton house being a murderer, we'll take a look at that. Again, looked at all the videos And then. We've. Look well, I semantically speaking whether it's you know first degree second degree whatever he's a murderer he killed he murdered. What's happening to is that tensions are high right now and we're trying to do our best to not jump to conclusions and shit that's like not not correct on here but the the spin cycle is moving fast the closer we get to the election the faster it's going to get the louder everything's GonNa Get Hyped up partisan things will get and we're going to try to do our best to make sure that we're getting you the accurate facts and not you know jumping to a conclusion on a spin cycle but right and we're we're going to try to focus on comedy as opposed to soap boxing. As we'd all agree on that front guys is we really wish that people weren't dead in Wisconsin in in any way shape or form, and that's GonNa do it for our factor. Thank you so much for listening stickers up. Monday. A lot of us have. To ask where you can get them. We had the tweet pin, but I guess Bubba doesn't listen to it. So young pinned the tweet. Video Tweet, Bubba? So He's Videos. Up There Diaz but check our twitter. Even if you don't have twitter, you can find the link for the former for stickers going out. Monday. So we will repent that now and have a great fucking weekend. I do like the ladies. I do like them. Lack a democratic. Committee. Betty my compliments that tiny net was fire Again, the tiny net is a death sentence in that they need Stein. Living. and.

Florida Polk County DNC RNC North Carolina America Mike Pence Melania trump Laura Laura Grady Judd donald trump twitter mark Congress nets Republican Party Wisconsin Nikki Haley Frank
S1E127: The Shawn Harvey Morning Show 05/07/20 | Fighting and More Fighting

The Shawn Harvey Morning Show Podcast

2:51:18 hr | 1 year ago

S1E127: The Shawn Harvey Morning Show 05/07/20 | Fighting and More Fighting

"They I don't clue. Impact SINDHU INSERTS. Lose the the morning. Everybody you're doing. God bless each everyone does. It is a throwback Thursday Thursday. May the twenty twenty forty one minutes after the hour. Welcome to the show. Show featuring singer Kohl's barbeque loan. You get your morning Chat Rooms. Wide-open calling seven zero nine eight. Two six five zero broadcast led me on radio DOT COM iheartradio Shaw morning show dot com Worldnet radio The Almighty Face Blind in all podcast format so CJ. Good morning of on a throwback Thursday as to either in wind or not on our you. Good Morning Sean. Doing Craig combining to everyone listening. We have a great show for you today. On this throwback Thursday we're going to get started with from Patriots could send EJ where. I will let you know what's going on locally and nationally so you don't WanNa Miss Van Good Morning Bardy. Good Morning Cindy Good Morning. Everyone here in Bethlehem right now. It is forty four degrees sixty six for the high. It's sunny outside yeah. It was a little cloudy a little while ago but it's sunny now in Strasbourg. Forty three degrees sixty four for the high in sunny as well in Newark New Jersey. It's forty five degrees. The high will be sixty six today in. It's going to be fair. Forty six in New York City sixty four for the high in sunny as well forty five in Atlanta sixty six for the high and it's going to be starting seventy two in Miami eighty two for the high end Sunday as well forty eight is Chicago. Sixty one for the high and fair in Los Angeles seventy right now ninety four the high and it will be Sunday in. There is a heat advisory for you guys. So be careful if you you're out there in those. Kovic streets that is I have for you. All was would look like where you are. Robert Covington ally from the show hobby morning show featuring a girl city J. Will you started right exactly. Can we get you want to start about? We have the morning and I guarantee you before nine. Am this morning. Your head will be bugging Sitting have yes in Atlantic lunch hour. We're GONNA have sunny skies where I will let you know what's going on in Hollywood entertainment news so stick around for that. Yes and we have a little harvey half sports. You guys stay tuned okay. So listen don't go. Nowhere on a throwback Thursday Will be going to do is when we come back. We'll shocked rule out wisdom heart set in the chat room. You what we do. We also have opened Mike Thursday morning show by later on today at about eight thirty also telephoned French morning. Show featuring a wakeup team on facebook. let everybody know about it so we are here. We are back subjects aboard what we do is. We'll go back to the morning drive. Dj D. here reminds me shining. Birch can't be off my chart ninety five I am. I would the day because both minds me dealers. Have you in the House the Charter right then? So you you folks do that really right. Really Barbie Hanya Good morning guys. Mockery never wrote my. Hey University you just call in around eight thirty we gonNA start the open Mike. You wouldn't do spoken word today. Albany new how are you grabbed the building your own open my yard carefree Airway Internet? Stop Selling these. Dang on mass. I have here. He is trying to make me a week for the past month. Came is going to have to have guys excited didn't win strict repealed make light allow or. I quote we back. It is all of the back. Rose they Thursday made seven. Twenty twenty is up forty eight minutes after the hour. Walk Back Shaw Months. Ofi for a goals where you get your morning started right. Chat rooms wide. Open the show each of us the blood or one colon zero ninety two six. I on a throwback Thursday a barbeque Cologne On Thursday of fleet good weather the take a look at that Chen or that code. Ask me good sending them. You see that Joel. Click on that Coke Pepsi. Okay okay I I you straight. Are you straight attack you intact or at times with the cocoa I go? You're a barbeque. Who was the weather like? What's going on here? In Bethlehem guys. It is forty four degrees. The high is going to be sixty six today and it is Sunday. Yes forty-three in Strasbourg. Sixty four for the high end sunny as well in New Jersey and it's forty five degrees. The high will be sixty six. It is fair forty six in New York City. The highest going to be sixty four in A. It's going to be Sunday in Atlanta. Forty five degrees sixty six for the high and sunny. Seventy two in Miami Eighty two for the high end is going to be spent bay in Chicago. Forty eight degrees sixty one will will be the hat and it will be a fair and it's seventy right now in Los Angeles. Ninety will be there. Hi and the sun and the sky and they will have a heat advisory. That's the way I have for. Y'All what's it look like where you are coming to you live from the show every morning show featuring Ej? Will you get your morning start? Rights started right on a throwback Thursday. We do a real quick. We shot groom showed it role so loud again trying to get that out the way before the phone starving so Before we do that I want to show all creepers a whole lot of love without guides folks that every day we truly appreciate your as we go through and still going through the full covy. God bless you all our hate us you know we essentially worthless for you I know you're mad as hell that this show continues to thrive even though we're Cope Matt I know and then all your rbis skills is shutdown down. Because you can't do it over with call off is Mad. It's fine but know that This is your bathroom where you need to be. This is the grand central hater station. And this is your next stop so haters. God bless you we here for NAP for the folks in the chat will Senate Jay. We want to show them some love because these guys in the chat room every day. We couldn't be able to perform this show so I want to say. Thank you everyone chatting. We really appreciate you guys for supporting also to all our brand new listeners. God bless sin is Lynette Serano unrolls. Neither guess I believe is the room or discuss no flaws in the room he lays okay. Okay is in the building. I didn't see young. Okay okay here me Ben. This is Mike in the buildings on Michael Grassy Year building. That'll be good very all AC- Murphy's in the building so that we got we good so i. I need to see the hearts in the chat room. Everyone or the throwback athletes are unable managing a call at eight thirty to do your thing for open mic naval shutoff valve for. She says she's here to the right. Guys Okay Dirani wish we will. God bless you young lady basically you. Are you really here? Let me the road. I'll let me school hearts in the chat will So we can show each other. Some love This is A clone wit test my lungs for the cocoa. Yes you sure do. I can't get through the song. Please call a hospital and my tire like girl. Gauguin of eight or the floor chap and er out of logo you KKOB it all right question about that age with that in the chat room. Hey wait a heart. Set Chapel chat chatting with let's go down with a heart heart heart. Stir WITH HEART SAD. Or when the out to what he's with heart sach with heart sach a with a harsher doubt. What what what what. What what. What what what roll. What would grow is still now. The jet pinned chat room where the heart in the heart hearts to chat with. Check check with a Hartselle city. Let's go turn down with hot with a heart. Set A win down with hot rhythm. Art Set a win hearts Jack with a Heart Sexual Win. Hartford who who was were what Cam know where here. When I left he was still asleep. So our though she said some are Francis out. I don't know off those coming. Look we got in a room. Let me say who were here. Aussie linearly within our rights. You're Washington Good Morning Girl. Hey neuroma Johnson. Good morning how are you? We have johnny whipple in the builds and good morning. Johnny Oversee Eric Martin. All the bones of what he guests they convey was crazy. Kay Thomas King is here. Good Morning Michael Street Justice Grassy. It's in the building. Good money to how are you? Oh markets missed. The one EMOJI Johnson decided to pop on in here. Good Morning Della Andrews is here. Hey Dell good morning beautiful. Da Oh Hetero. Good Morning Zoo team. Graham Godmother of comedy and the building. Hello beautiful our use our warm. Am Murph is here. Hey you are in the building workers time time to get that taper yes Chew Never Williams. Is He a good morning? The show Brown Marguerite Wrath Good Morning Marguerite. Hey Beautiful Who Else Do Boys Pamela? Hey go wrong mornin. Pitiful the net net net Serano is. Well wait wait before you go back to the hamlets the remember the week. She's your and walk. They will let me tell me what you hear chat room the week. Hey travel member the week. Jabil you right. So how dare I get that right? How dare I sorry girl Komo? Don't hold it against my heart. Hold it gets my brain. 'cause you know. I had the K. Girl. I'm still getting McAfee Kickin Who Else we had Delaney Bill. Ford is here heads lady. Yeah A- and Eric Farmer is in the bill then Good Morning Eric. The savage Kim Kibble is in the building as Robert Police here hey. Robber a deer Jackson. Hey Deroga- morning that George Henry. Is he a hey are all lower tariffs? Hey Laurie. Good Morning Jennifer Fischetti. It's in the building. Good Morning. Jennifer Kushinka Shahi. Johnson is hearing a low shot. He morning to you. Marcy ramose decided to join us again. Hey Girl latasha James Branches in the building. Jason Women Marciel Ramos was that she's been here a few times. Okay just checking Latino Ramose my see you I think it was. Your last name was colonial. Look Me Megan. Don't know pitcher flavor of Latino are you right now. It's a picture of her so I don't know if I can't do right. So that's from the Bronx from the X. Something I'm going to know what's going on with genuine for the heart is in the building. Jane's Mohawk go is here. Hey J. A. Hawk a short. You Will Miss Wilson in the building. Good morning noon shot. A scene is here where Charles. Hey who loves US here? Joe Is in the bill. Would've Joe Jessica Wilcox. Hey Jessica Who loves who else. I'm scrolling up because we by which asked. Oh No I wanted to. I'm Jessica. I wanted to know where she's from. I know she's been here a few days Where'd you hear about the show at waiting from yes girl who else? I'm trying to see I think. Abe is denise just popped in Hey Avis Good Morning Robert Andrews is here. Hey Kareem Williams. This week as nurses week isn't a happy. Nurses we gave is out my seat. Says he's Puerto Rican as you Newark. Right Say where are you from? I think she said she's from nowhere. You're a girl girl a will you know. I love the Puerto Rican Latino women one of my one of my baby mamas a Puerto Rican in from the Bronx. So that makes me half Puerto Rican only problem with Marseille issues. From like os well documented every woman from Newark New Jersey's completely out of their mind. Now we now meet the no How many baby was she has now genuine. That she's from any that's Great Bragar all Wendy's I think if I o Maria Mari Orlando just popped there. Good Morning Mari. Welcome to the show. Because your name really does not even sound familiar to me so to show. How how'd you hear about us? You know you are friends and family right now so come on and say hi sit for Awhile Cop squad you know have seen good morning. Is this a man or woman Let me see if I could see. They profile Pitcher at Mari is. What happened only on a? I'm guessing it's lady Mari Orlando Lady. I think she are. You know I was in nursing. Shot out to you girl and Audi Lonnie I. You're from Louisville. Did You Rob Lee Scott? Great he yeah he was from Kentucky and he was yeah. He was from Marina it's just popped in seven marina h shop with the. I'll just say that. Yeah because he keep up I I hate right. They say. What's your every once in a while? Everyone while we have a chat room couple watched the show once in a while. I guess Swain and Margarita. Day guest new couples to watch the show at the same time here it. God bless you guys miss you at Dunkin donuts missing? Nobody misses each other. Go and said he's GonNa stay in the House with ten years. I don't even care. Lettuce is punk ass in that house for ten years. That's good for and so Twenty is in the building with his lovely lady is a good look sometimes. It's good every once in a while. We have a couple washed the show together right or whatever in the room rank each other and that's not good. The last couple we had that that was listed to show We Love them to death. It's a hot toddy. Random out the room excited by this is way way before your time I We live there was a lot of with that. But I'm sure that okay. Simone binding is here from Denmark. Got Martin Simone. How are you welcome to the show? Thank you for tuning in does how about us. How does is a black woman? White woman combined it. Wait a minute really about all about alone yes but from. Denmark is probably a Babylonian talking this hard from Albany Right. She has been where you go. So would it be safe to say that? It's Ian Simone de. Would it be so so so with Jessica? Being the Babylonian from orbit organ for sure she needs to link up with a Neuroma Johnson. She lives in Albany Right. A say the same sin singer Barbara Cologne that this woman Jessica loves the the Black Man out. This is a save that y a will all in this group one. This is a woman that most likely. I don't know but she has ventured into the blackness on several occasions and don't be surprised if she don't be surprised if she has a black baby fall. I wouldn't be surprised at all a Jessica do you? You love the black man you love the man or do you have Do you love the black coach of the Geico? Thank you want her to be like. No I don't like may have you ever had sex with a black man okay. I rephrasing had sex with the black with the black jazz music. Stopped listening to this. Show right please. Don't please don't don't don't whole showdown against any. We didn't do anything. We don't go size graded. It's please don't do. We truly appreciate everybody to make sure are talking about him. Actually the question on this that Craig battered in some blackness lab culture. You see you see not now both women. You insinuate need to apologize to me. You see what I'm saying. I'm doing me here. Keep an eye on what we all are doing. And I guarantee you that more from Newark. New Jersey also loves the black man and also been with the black coaches. Well I can guarantee you that as well so city memory Mari Orlando says she is Puerto Rican. Mary where are you from from Orlando the definitely all the new listeners? We WanNa make sure you stay connected with us on social media page that were broadcasting off of right now vis sean heavy morning show featuring the wakeup team you WanNa make sure that you like and follow it so that you are notified every time we go by. We also have a group page. And that's on facebook. The Sean Harvey Morning Show Featuring Team Group group is popping. Make sure you invite is talking to the group. Invite your friends by fifty friends at least and then your ranks pre approved. Just let us know that you've done that. We also are on instagram. Sean Harvey Morning. Show so please make sure you follow. Follow that and we also on the I heart radio platform. So trump takes podcasts. And Click Sean every morning show and hip follow and you'll get updates. Every time I show POPs up on there which is daily about an hour after our show goes off so there yet a shout out to my sister. I used to take up saw. Murray is from Orlando on Bayonne from Baker in Jersey House today from Bayonne Lunatic. That would be a hood out. There is like on a like the juice from Bay on New Jersey as well. This is a noblewoman. Alone with Jessica a CEA in this young lady here they all have had the black man at some point in their life and they love the black culture said yes she. I love the black name. Us We Took WITH THAT LIVES. Battino thousand nineteen things label imprint. Which University roll up wants you to call in at eight thirty eight thirty and we're GONNA start the UH guy so Scott up take rates they come back and Joan mention guys talking about the new this special shout out to long. Today's birthday eighty eight years. Maybe right right chopping off stop. Nice Shaw may besting steeler showing our grop miss you obliged today about how you made it? You made it Princess Valley workup. Who he was trying. Thiong'O he was tired for sobbed. British younger nut in WanNa was at the same time. Right right that's a valid league shelton on my mother's birthday. Today's my birthday. Thank you on demand. Wounded as cousin's birthday was joke. That'd be yeah you should call mainland happy birthday right one show. Yes he's watching K. Don't worry I hold you to wait. Share the show. We don't like sharing your mouth. We don't WanNa hear it makes your brow return you make by is it. You don't have to miss out on the fine detail the term this one comebacks. Look I we back. It'd grant Thursday. Thursday may seven was my love. His birthday of twenty twenty twenty one minutes after the hour back soggy one show reaches dental goals while Cologne. Where you get your morning started right on chat rooms open a please so each other some love or please if you wanted to be there call it. The numbers five seven zero nine eight hundred six nine five zero broadcast. Live right here on iheartradio. Radio DOT COM SEAN ONE SHOW DOT COM world that video of the Almighty facebook live and all platforms for match? We'll all over the place that we welcome you on each and every morning when he place on Earth you get your morning started breitbart real quick of local weather than we get to some news. Then we got open MIC with a recording. And I'm ready. I'm ready ready ready. I read guys in Bethlehem will be broadcast. Live from is forty four degrees. The high will be sixty six today and it is going to be stunning in Strasbourg. Forty three degrees sixty four for the high end sunny as well. That's where the half where you are. What's it looking like where you are Up coming to you live from the show. Have Monday show featuring DJ? Will you get your morning started right? Xactly get you on. Started right on a throwback Thursday so Sydney I guess what we do real quick we go to one quick news story and unable was going to call in and admit this anything light. Anything that you have. It's ninety even it isn't to change to the news tissue calling. You had anything to enjoy. Yeah I mean. There's a lot of things that I've talked about but I won't start with my heavy one right now. I'll keep it light as really wondering that when the last time you had a heavy one. It's meant wild on. I haven't had anything heavy in a while. Would you were fascinated me about doing something heavy. Yeah Pretty Soon. Hopefully it will you. Will you embrace the heavy? I will embrace it. I will embrace it. The first thing I'm talk about Is the economy you know. Keep a kind of light we all know going with going on with the economy is going down. She sits of economic data that rollout this week woes show. Just how bad the? Us economy has gotten the weekly job. Reports showing that more than thirty million people have already been laid off during the crisis and have filed for unemployment Tomorrow new monthly unemployment numbers could show the worst jobless rate since the Great Depression up to sixteen percent. Experts predict that would mean ten years of job gains white out in a matter of months. Because we've constantly been working to try and get it to know where everybody is working. You know new job right now. President trump had such a virus attached. I would phase out in favor of one focused on the economy. Remember yesterday. He said he was going. Phase out the You know throwback Thursday. He said he was going to phase out the Corona Virus Task Force source even though we ever rising numbers right economy. Shut now and everything like that well. He had a change of heart over the backlash that he received And he said the Health Focus Group will continue indefinitely and he said things are much the same in Europe but also saying that he's looking to add two more members to that group and that they are still going to be doing what they need to do because basically what he was saying he was going to close down. The Corona Virus Task Force and then federal agencies can just handle you know the regular state all the states opening up and doing business. He's already been open. Nobody's been there like what are you talking about? So I guess you know when somebody's He said somebody very close to him in very respecting called him and told him that he should keep the task force going so he decided that that's what he was. GonNa do now. Who This person is. We will never know but is how the president is taking advice running this country in France. Who called him? That's like me. Sometimes you buddies call you how the task force but we're not at a million people in the country that the thing is yet the task force is a great idea. You keep it. This is something that we should be a shutout to my man of Dave Shepherd building one of biggest promoters in the country. Thank you day reset. You and I appreciate all the work you've given me throughout the. It's not not sitting this guy a A. K. I like to call him. King forty five offing forty five. Okay King He'd be tossed out at the end of the year if we all go out there and vote and not like I always say to all African Americans and minorities in this country. We have a part to play in all this mess. Because for what a six million of US didn't even vote in inner cities of Milwaukee Chicago Philadelphia and Pittsburgh where a Hillary Clinton lost the Electoral College. Because we didn't get her over the top so again. We still got a part to play with his snack a day. Keeping the task force is absolutely right. You have to keep. I think they should make this like a cabinet position. They should have this time. Well how let's not forget? There was a pandemic task force in Clayton. Already how's your again meeting? According to him right now now that was that was definitely a bad move as vitamin ASS. You don't if you you just not enough to to get out there. Motivate yourself to vote and there's nothing else that you that rain this nothing knows so obvious that you need to get him out of there so now with this task was okay fine. They got rid of the Task Force. Now they got it back. He's still preaching throughout all list of full Kobe. To give rid obamacare man is out of his mind now back to the unemployment Cindy J. In the beginning of the story. These are very disturbing numbers and you got an end. What's going to happen is some industries will be wiped out completely. It's not affect the industry kind of like little stores something like this ago. Companies that just can't sustain this is going to be wiped out now. The question is do a sacrifice more laws to open up the country yesterday China me. Personally I'd say no. I said we all stay in the House for another year. Two and then you'll get to stick it out about a year to land. That ain't gonNA happen. That's not going to harbor are going to force people to come outside. You don't have to yeah. You can quit your job today. There'd be no more unemployment and you're figuring it out from it that's cool. That's cool too. But they're going to reopen this country because they're losing too much money and they can't enough unemployment money to give everybody this not enough stimulus checks not going to write to me checks the the problem I have all. This is the the fact committees countries up or with or they should've closing summit like the meat factories plants. Everybody's sick so now you can't buy no mix it becomes a domino of that that's a notice sound radical. It could have been two things here. Shut the country now for three weeks. Nobody come outside. No nothing like the president of Philippines like you said J. Ten. Pm. You get shot if you come outside of now that separation by curve. This thing. A little bit of fortunately was going to happen is they are going to open up this country except to say this is. I'm sorry I'm serious. They opened up this country and they're going to sacrifice lives. Cj J hold on a second hold on. They're gonNA look at it like did they go. See y'all okay. One hundred thousand died and then we good and then we just continue on how they looking at this. You have a choice but notice. They're not gonNa pay you forever to stay home. You GotTa Choice. You want to get your money. Whatever that's fine. But here's the setup. Don't forget it when the job caused you to come back to work and you said. Oh I was scared. I can't go back to find you. And you're not GONNA get unemployment. Somebody else particularly win. All I'm saying so you can't. There'll be no grievous grievances there'd be no protests that your job is none of that so it's up to you more every war. Wait a minute wait a minute. Hold on Johnson. We never mind almost a day one for a chat room. We'd love the death. They wave all this young now. That's May roll myself survive to crack years. We was getting high. We go with tha. You're not you wasn't even balked. While he was a toddler when they roll in was running. These streets. I saw patients has been game. It's breaking our on a rabbit out. These for me is probably last night going. I comedy where we're with we. Did YOU DO COM Megan? Where did you do comedy? He took me and pull away win. We let me see home of the properly into. Do everybody know me already. I'm Nora Raum. Is Everybody Lists. That said this stage we the lounge. You know what I'm saying. We have of protective partition separating the tables dj not. He is doing this thing. What Cologne sitting on one side? I'm on the other side of the place is packed opened. Everybody's in the building matter fact of a joe butter son Logo Buddha. He's after he played do what you're drinking right now. Ford named Along Long Island iced tea alcoholic or general put in your drinks right now before Lancer Halo glass of red wine. Okay okay. I'M A WE'RE GOING TO HAVE. I'm going to have right. Would EXTRA LIVING? Everybody please with that. Yeah Heavy on eleven heavy on the Linen. Please of Chapman. Could you drink in the rooms? But the thing the macbook pros playing his music. I'm just sit in the seat now. Everybody's in whole chat room showing and now the first thing that we hit the sea is about the consummate. So everybody this young lady. She's hilarious originally from Brooklyn she lives upstate New York. She's come here to grace's everybody starts clapping. Please speaking okay Tom Barrack time here. Because you know traditionally fans dot com here fiction drag carragher known a FAN INTEREST ACT WEBS EXAM. We can't hear around just vanish in say the import one more time. Now we time. Yeah yeah our view your sixty big right like Niagara Control ought to lock. It's so sweet. Includes Church against me on a natural high bring? Thank me on a natural arose. Cathy naturally have trauma piney intruder knee. Likely Clinton be free. We can really through so we can be if Florida into reform into each me. Arrear raked in in your heater in. I Love Sri look around. Fanzine DOT COM will. Every night I wake up and they think in life is a fantasy dot com. So let's clap workers make isn't a is it a natural high to touch your turn rancher. will actually wanted to get as negative as you was Sharing your home. It was actually a turn on for me. An did an incredible job. Let's get back. Does looking you looking to share right. Aromas do another when they can't you. You May and I've never found Josh truck. Josh is the bank your whole wait wait. Hold on say since she said before. She said that using fight by these polls because she was home alone on Valentine's Day and I'm sure you barbeque molten. Nfl continual. Oh really showing really my heart. I know a you with Roma Heart. Those changes now. You like the rate and now you can either churches thirty hours scene it but then. I realized being is baby was in. You know cheat to that. She's abused or before you go her stuff. We're in the war role Erode that sounds like a lot of pain. It sounds like it. Sounds like you date. Didn't show up in. You can't do smash left so so you appreciate. Your testimony was alone on Valentine's Day in Insect Zeca call. Somebody took your heart. Roller got to write that down grain. Our and you know what these homes years ago in the ninety s and the definitely identifies both were known Sydney and Sydney date. They both that tapper. Now of business out like that shown Bobby I knew was met you and since Jay was mental here these poems no way you my dentist to both of. Y'All a note date last Valentine and left me enough your heart alone. They won't hanging loose awesome. Let's hope I'll give you to that one fast? Is You Wanna? Do you want to do another one? We're from memory. Thank you for that. If you good well you know you know me. I enjoy any cracks story. Then I'll tell you about the world when I was smoking crack. Pipe bypass my hand for three minutes. You WanNa hit that one of no. No we don't okay. We gotta go where Jazz we love you. Chat Room. Where's my heart? Yeah raise my heart. Okay everybody's my mother's birthday planning. Have you want everybody? You go from neighborhood. It's a mother. That's hilarious would you? Would you like to say a poem? Today we are open mic on glass. Are You doing today? We Wounded Day. She's in this infected all over the house to avoid the cocoa today that everybody is eight years old God blesses. She moves around like on sixty five year old. She does. She's she's the mother of the church is willing to do more to the Church for seventy five years same church New York everybody's died bub-bubba limit of Ma. Listen I heard a listen. Look I love you? I'm glad that yet I was eight years old. I was up. I would do the same thing. I love you to death. Everybody not let me get spanked. Never Net we're blessed to have this woman in my life to this day every moment you know. She was speaking to my mother ten times a day almost as she calls the show on a regular basis. And you we love you. I love you so proud that you a mother up to I am truly blessed to have you recall wall we. This is the woman that was ruined. When I was smoking we are my bedroom. Cj So treat learn was higher. Hey that's why she got R- any any other circumstance appreciate the Buddy Mama. Mama then stopped me from having a baby mamas though but know Quad. I love grabbing handle rambis. Saric of mob. You don't any other circumstances that would be there but because because we're in full cove it in says that we can communicate this way. I can't I can't see my mother. Yes yes my of course men we only do. God's grace a just I just appreciate. You glad that you with that you're in. My life is one of the most important relationship that I have. I really I will not only that you you you might. You're one of my best. Friends is off everyday contrary and I just talked about of whether a yes of course I just I just WanNa say of once again. I can't say let's say thousand times but is the grace of God that your in my life. I can't come to see you. Of course you know because of the covert and plus I've been I've been I've been exposed. I've been exposed to a so I can't I can't be nowhere around you so but I do I do do do love and and cherish every moment of this day with you and happy birthday. I'm glad that when you became an impregnated you kept me. Uh thank you I appreciate that. That's enough okay. Cool all right all right. Thanks for me Do Appreciate You. I. I'm a goblet. God blessed thank you. Everybody left him among Harvey would take a quick break and let's clap when they will again that that was the main my skills say she's funny staged bars so I love that I love it. You didn't have your head. I ballpoint I was married without Vikings. Look y'all could not be right. Here Lies Baby. Almost a have a have a classic about this subject. That's hilarious so hobby more than anyone. Amherst upbeat so much. Really appreciate her new. Don't start crying now. They'll start that. I know everybody former remember is building. She was thank you note to still have my mother to this day in. This truly a blessing. All the mothers in the chat room as well so It's just it's. It's a humbling experience to have a relationship at this point with this woman in my lifetime humbled and grateful to have more. There's a lot of folks that don't have the mother. The mother of spirit in in in in their heart there in this spirit of God is blessing to have this individual in my life on a daily basis. It is not nothing greater than this gift that God has given me today to have a mobile life. No question about it all shows and I thank you for that perfect for also. Emotional is very very emotional person. She's not backing down for sports to all the mabus mothers in and we're talking about their Friday day weekend you can get into all that. Bob Sat out for every mother grandmother. Mothering right anybody. Anybody who's Chow so saw in this? Not The twelfth saints runs deep man. I mean yeah. I can't bobby I can't. I can't even touch won't be nowhere around this woman because like I said I don't eaten but you know what like I said shouts Mamane. Dj Hot Sauce. Only though some products to my bubble haven't heard from since the other day but I'm sure so so we're gonNA come back right. That it is a throwback Thursday Thursday may seven twenty twenty fifty four minutes after the hour. Walk back song once show features. Cj Co host law where you get started right chat rooms open. Please call seven zero nine eight two six nine five zero out the room real quick work with a cine Jay And and and we have great have a great time of is a senior fellow radio. Low right over there. What you Talkin. Bout that comment about how she loved. Nobody cares you look. Laura said that no I'm not talking about. In their regular Laura Laura is a very attractive young ladies. Thank Barry. She don't hate on Loro. She cut her beautiful. She scenarios new that Gallison. Gilead is very full Senate. You need to get out a little bit. She's had no didn't notice before I got into my relationship with my lovely lady. I've been with for almost a year now. I was actually going to haul out Laura Turner next on the list. Any family members C. J. Notice nest that up real quick. Would you really I? I would put my whole fall into that. Was Cindy was slow city but I was. I was single at at the top season. Anna knows and so it was inappropriate. Were only fits in the corn. The show from a corner now so sending. You wouldn't so. I started smashing Laura. You would have had a problem with. Sean. It wouldn't have been happening. Even though I was at the time I met Thomas Single. I know I'm nobody knew that. Yeah but Laura. Turner was not beyond electronics cast. And that's what she say. And I'm watching the Laura Mantle we appropriate can be. You know me you know me on an everyday basis of Holland that Laura would have been wouldn't have been like a seamless transition has now now mango. You know what I was going through. When I was single the whole thing I dated one. She go to know but Senate you. Everybody knew the veteran listeners knew that I was a dating one. Check after Nicole Peon I broke up right for year and a half. I was single. And the the crazy chick from north right. Who had to call police all right but that was it then smash nobody else. I didn't do anything then. Tom came into my life. Saying there's did you have a problem with me talking to your Baba sending out protecting you. Laura is like a black widow. You and alive. I was protecting you. Showing. This is making this breaking China Sea. Shine you just. It would have been better for everybody. Laws that while even better than I don't project Senora Weights Olo. What am I not eating? You know Mike Has A. She's great not for you. Would you say that I would be too old stopping that old? It's just too close to home for me personally. I talked my cousin about things about dive. And I don't WanNa know that about you. Yes about began all about that where she say. You're not gonNa Day Laura Sean you know. How city is city now. It always has to. It always comes back to be shot. I think so you saying that. Are you saying that Laura Turner in capable of making adult decisions on a roll? Yeah as you went along with it you wanna ended up heartbroken and then I would have been in the Middle Again. And so are you saying okay? I will be fascinating news. So you're saying that Laura Charnel is a eater. See the correct way to wait a minute. So Bob Eucalypt. This is a woman does if you will gone so ooh. This is interesting because this is a woman. That's protecting a name from a woman that she's related to win. Yeah Wow I've served with but city I think that this is your mo though. I think that it's not actually. Nobody is that would have been case. Could allow you stop this top down. So Cindy disappointing. Mueller Way Asia or here coastline and what she was saying. Thank you Laura. Sydney sister is also cosigning your advocation Walvis where the savage you tried down. I'm happy we're Adam. Laura was next on the list and there was a few others. There was a few just be happy where of where you are. Now I am. I am rating. Keep forward yes. I'm Yes yes I I just thought that the whole war and maybe do this blocking the whole situation because of just kill it you hate but this is factual but everything. I talk as fast as you. Just cosign this way. She shia-dominated as a rea- iron grip on her relationships grip on the relationships. Yeah she's in charge. Laura would unknown worse but I think you hating those Sydney because I don't know if China about me I'm not trying to block hop in I just city. Is it also a mental picture? That's disturbing the you. That movie played me. Smash Laura Turner that also plant. Yeah big data. That could get that movie. It's a horror horror flick in your head. Sound also Laurel is the fall in love with me with sending all these messages on. How Adore Sean? You would you would. You couldn't tolerate that salary. That goes back to. If sin is not happy nobody right there. You go back too much. Generally speaking what bobby clone would have. I'm the type of man that wants to be dominated. And maybe this is the way we asked me. He won't saving are going to do that with somebody else obscene. So that's what is about Iran. He's doing so. Even the I'm Amanda wants to be dominated by a woman is still can not not with not with my circle now but feel free to be dominated by anybody else possibly somebody on Garvey's family and that was about the city you you as conservative with hate as cineastes like ground do do you. Hey young because named Tash. Aamer like seemed like boxed up to you a check to that which I will not but she no I would. Dowa just became vice city was showing why that that baby is short watching that but go baby of the conversation that I am so grateful for who would today now getting quickly. Don't get it twisted in. I don't mind you love the dominating thing you know you could put. You could tie me up a little bit. What my ass to. I'm I'm Kinda out omitted. Sending this conversation is really disturbing to before we get into the back to the take a quick way. Go take before we do that. We do Notice Cohen Hater. She doesn't want anybody around that family. A male found light. Just tell my family a single moms on war why I don't know I don't know I always don't want him. I think we have like a little curse on or something because my mom single my grandma's dense angle for a minute. My sisters are single. I'm waiting for a niece or net. While I have a nephew my brother. He's a successful relationship. Learn but I my sister's they don't have kids. They're and they're of age. Come on I usua- back you know and so right so we start which grandmother God bless. She's ninety seven ninety four. She's ninety four grandma and looking for no man's she she ain't got tavern league. She what have I got and move your feet. Your Grandmother's ninety four. But she hasn't been in the relationship since they shot. Dr Martin Luther King. Back with a bed Linda Jacob. Your Bubbas is right now. Romney Libyan ega is going to be limited. Jacob become a month he come go. Come in and we're GONNA get through this frustrating time. I'm hoping I can break the cycle living break. It's going to be you got faith in you. Girl has come out. Come out of corn teammate. The power crisis can tell you dummy you saw out took care to bills. I like that but I can't allow myself to be like that if you don't know what he's doing or a mom francis thanks. How right right from wrong one with the ES? Stephen don't WanNa let nobody came cornerside right. He's gotTa be can't let it s it like you say. I want to go come in like I don't care how good you can't leave avenue you don't get back house asked Jordan to work one. Who with the guy of Solar Tracy Ray? Well if it's the truth yes I will on. You can't have a match coming just because he got a nice pain is okay. You can't leave me in protect and take care because I have to do it myself but you need. Add to it and you can't ever make it better. I only I need you here so by like yet by where you say all that not. It's back in the forehead was heavy. Look like this. I'm a little I don't want I get that back. Our right whatever you stop stats all right. I'll just down any like. Do you think Lori this with you as well. He got tease scramble. This this show you on news right okay. Once again nick. Roman God bless you man. We appreciate you open MIC. Thank you so much. Cash at s Harvey Morning Show also. Please visit our website. Sean Holly WanNa Show Dot Com and also let me say each and every day was hat also we would say each and every day share the show. Enjoy all is good radio to yourself. You're feeling good or being informed with the news anything that we do. Please share it. None of them saying don't feel good all by yourself. This will be a barbeque on. Guess what we'll get into. Some news was Cindy J. Front page news. Everybody in Chat Room please type in front page news. Cindy J. Road on my the end in war and now you got the new Joe from page new show Saint James. He goes all the way to get into all day. Don't he's the to double and not looks JAL so page new show probably hit us. Y'All y'all word thing here wait wait wait girl. You know air almost listening to a slow. Look to slow being your. Because it is throwback Thursday Joseph Jape please. Josh is reinstating. New York presidential primary that was cancelled by this day. I know I told you a couple days ago. That Andrew Yang and Bernie Sanders had put together a lawsuit against the New York Board of elections. Were on a second hold on every morning. Show Sydney Bobby Kirk own an Oregon up. My girl won't handle. Hey mooney number curse somebody. Every person comes favorable. Our people by themselves thing grew even everybody agree with somebody or something wrong with being alone or our power Christ compel you let me tell you a woman who says they want two million dollars she. She wouldn't tell her husband about it. You're to get fifty thousand dollars. You got to go to work every day and I said I don't trust the menzies sound business a fan personality. Everybody knows what she wants to. No one knows. She doesn't want to be by her forever. But you just hasn't found what you want and I understand that five cousin river this concern aura. That I want you want you my family member who who wait a minute wait a Oh my God wrong. Whatever it is. You're hoping none you stay your ass right there. Let me tell you right now Jane. She has the same problem. You have is all about her. Let me tell you something young lady Audrey. How obvious speckling on this show I respect. You aren't giving you expect you know this show. How did that this right? Go Argue argies. Goes him you hit me out wall and you say all this. I respect you. Don't get the twist but let me tell you something with you. Came into your husband's life and his family. They accepted you. Sit there and say y'all if it was one of my family members you can't talk to them. What if somebody in your husband's family some of your friends that met your husband felt that way about you? You wouldn't had you wouldn't have met your husband for fame understanding because of the fact that others the clothes donated and this bench shear different mission able to fit in one another as long you know. I don't want short acting up new best as of obviously super strong and opinions but whatever happens between a family member who has a name. She doesn't want to ask for the family husband's cousin. Edward Crashes Okay. Wow Way okay did you. Did you get connected by Jack to that? We don't have a religious man. You don't have a relationship which assists because we through. You guys can't wait a minute. Wait a minute actually did she. That they'll go did you. Did you try to stop was to? I don't get it way. Sure shot he gets cocoa. Because it's not that I don't know I don't orgy you to get mad at you know what I'm saying talk. We've village that off if you you don't have back infant. She doesn't like a brother-in-law at all. satellite right. That's what this all sounds like as out a what happened but it goes back to city. Look just for an example. If I'm talking to if you are co workers and I'm talking to Laura you can't how can you have? That much control was going to happen in the future. I can't really you can't you. You do with your shot. She doesn't have any control. Laura and Lord or whatever the believe that's what you million on that thing well okay and I'd say this is my opinion as well. I think you were Senio dead wrong. You don't control these situations you don't control. You can't control who falls in love with who falls in law right. You can't just sit in it. You can't be because you know why because you know God. My husband's first cousin. I wasn't friends with them for before that man. I'm friends with I. Understandable with him saying is no one interfered in the beginning of this conversation. And I apologize to you. Keep your ass right there. No one interfered in your relationship with your husband was a natural progression. And God bless you and your family right right so so again I think that if in the Laura Turner situational any situation like this junk speaking less knew the person Bob Cologne has a character. Defect PROBLEM. That you say listen. That guy is a challenge. That don't talk or something other than these extreme conditions of it in that none of us have the right to stop the natural progression of folks talking to each other. Your career that it's been to save. It was stop it that good or whatever they want to ask exactly. This is what I'm saying you can't you can't sit there and just talk about. Listen I don't want you talk until my cousin right and say ever I say look. Audrey is not not win. Audrey admit or be Song Brand Bobby Your Cologne Muscle. Who's also teams. Cindy I get it but this is not a audrey. This is her opinion. This is something that she's been wrong about one. Okay watch the city. Is it your opinion that you don't want me to talk to Laura attornal of back in the day And this is way back in the day for folks that don't notice a this is your opinion. This is something you feel strongly. Y'All don't talk to Sean. Which one is she thinks your opinion and no that is not condoning. See you did you hit up. That's not but I'd be like are you serious. See Away. That's not. That's not her opinion. She told us the person is. Does that would transpire in relationships and I have very close relations with both of you and I thing that would be shared things that were different than fed effect because personal with your within the conflict. And wait wait a minute. You're saying that this could be a conflict. Would so to people are attracted to each other. But there's a mutual friend middle. It's a conflict that we can't talk to each other because of one individual. Will we both liked each? Why would that be a couplet? It would be a to sever if because the person becomes wash kneeling. Maybe you'd want you to know about. Maybe something that you shared with. Whoever doesn't know about no? No you're right controllable. You've foreign low everybody involved. How are and some things Jimmy happen? Hold on a second. This isn't a value right. Are you should wait. What are you talking about Asian threat? Laura was attracted to you and it's not about that. I wanted to talk to Laura. Let's say she could have rejected me for all? The what are you talking about? Hey are you able to now get appreciation knowledge? In which is Sharon? No question about it ought to Audrey. You're not going to delete facebook issues. That women who are under fifty six white. You're now willing if the cocoa don't catch me we're the same age so you've got these things are you you you you. She's a year older than me year. And say okay. That means I if you're fifty five. I'm out that the five in your fifty six in dinosaur years. We're the same age. He's their dinosaur year. Sean you talking about I love you talk so I know one thing sitting. I know one thing with a orgy of houses. The single and I started talking to assist the Dan. Ain't gonNA happen. Oh No I don't I don't work with you. I don't know you right back because she's not closely. You see million person business. You don't know out by saying he wouldn't have a problem with it. She tells versus the leader. They don't talk about you. The single at the moment brother-in-law all right already can't for rid concerned and we'll we'll go. Godless governor don't believe we'll facebook. God bless Audrey made the pound and bless God Blass Scott. I'm a grill. You Listen Up. We are back with the news. The tovia with the new with Laura. I was going to all right over there mart. Yes yeah right but nobody wears go type it in the chat room or whatever Lawrence. They'll have a house. Y'All she thinks she's leaving but she's that Unknown valley a forgotten. His sisters married right down the lock going on over there. As part of throwback Thursday knows remember. I was telling you lies about answering hanging Bernie Sanders. Who LAST MONTH? I think the beginning last month file a lawsuit against the New York Board of elections because they had cancelled the New York primary due to corona virus concerns so a US chides day reinstate. The presidential primary cancel last week by a the epicenter of which was the epicenter of the Krona virus outbreak. The judge's name was Anna Lisa Torres. She is a US district she for the US District Court for New York Southern District and she granted a preliminary injunction and ordered the board to hold the election on June twenty third among presidential delegate candidates who were qualified as of April. Twenty six which would mean Andrew Gang and Bernie Sanders will be included on those balance Gangs that. I'm glad that a federal judge agreed that depriving millions of New Yorkers of the right to vote was wrong. He pledged delegates had argued the cancellation violated their rights under the first and Fourteenth Amendment of the Constitution. The first one being free free speech rights days gang said they made it clear and substantial showing likelihood of success on the merits of their claim and Kellner. Who's of the New York Board elections? He said they're reviewing decision. And they're preparing to do a deal. Andrew Cuomo the governor of New York. The primary would proceed as on June twenty third. But he did say. There is potential for an appeal. Although Yang trip dropped out of the race in February wanted his name on the ballot in the primaries including the one in New York Biden's last remaining rival Senator Bernie Sanders who suspended his campaign. On April eighth also wanted his name retained on the ballot remaining context. They cancelled because they said that it was frivolous considering that Joe Biden was the Democratic nominee. But you know people have. There is no no no. You don't get everybody's talking about how important vote. Okay so wait a minute and new. York is a big state. So let's see what New York has also. Okay so why? What was the? What was the reason why they cancelled the elections in I in New York Cocoa say not mess with got Bobby. It's hard to say messed with So you are okay Bobby say ooh cocoa nut the mess with yes so let me say something. Man Anthony Name and Bernie. Sanders needs to be ashamed with cells now ashamed excels at New York City to hold an election and right hopefully. They're all full Kobe when they when they didn't even win the nominate. Everybody Joe Biden. Is the candidate. Now let it go let it go hang in full koby in everybody. They don't have to. They could mail and they didn't have it at all which why why worlds coming in they didn't have a number just another delegates any wasting J. Right I mean. They are in vain. Conceited way before all this happened right this. This is what I'm looking but you gotTA do part of Party so we can get Donald trump out here. You always say yo Joe Biden's platform. I don't know it either but this is what we need to do. The platform trump. I often so now. You want Cindy J. Nalen or or go to the polls separate six feet you want the beloved of New York City to risk their lives to vote foot ends Yang and Kern Sandton. Actually this question making mail there. Okay if he was in New York City used a resident. Would you vote no male? Would you go down there and vote in folks it? Would you probably not if I was in the say? You're scary but not trying to go out the house. You wouldn't go vote exactly what I say. Not In New York. I'll go out here okay. Well the next story. I like to say shame on a Andrew Yang Shame on Bernie Sanders in shame on you for sharing this story in Wisden. They laws for the cocoa. That has no cure for it in New York City with everybody's on top of each other J. Shimla awesome bobby total. No no no. Voting no mobility voting or. Would you go to public school in? New York City. Nope on June or whatever. It is and I'd do that now now now and then again. I don't Care Cindy J. go across people's rights. They sure did no they. They didn't do it. The cocoa didn't think sitting in while we split screen right now Virtual Co. It's three your birthday this weekend. Be Wound by ourselves and you give it a New York City to vote for hang no disrespect who bowed out the campaign months ago before cocoa. I'm very disappointed disappointed. Any did you guys finish the to kill it the other night. Oh no I couldn't even look at it last night. A little. Probably make some Margaritas this weekend when I don't have this show in the morning. That's another thing city. They need to get all this together now so in November of the Cologne we should be able to have a guy. We could vote on at vote on. I don't even think we should go to the polls in November. It'll what they actually started sending out emails so you can sign up to have your amount invalid. I got one a couple days ago. So you don't have to go out and you can't go out and you can do. Americans are primaries are on June second. So if you're I already have my thing so even so in November you can register. I threatening is still open so that you can do a mail in vote absentee ballots Serrano. The only thing is not going to get that cool sticker because I voted. But a Bobby Bobby. I mean sneeze a costume thing. Same thing everybody Barbie your go. This gone gone More ooh I like it. I like it this next story. It's saw disheartening. Wait a minute wait a minute you have Valerie Thomas you out of your mind. What she said she said. I don't trust that male as a liberal. We talking about Valerie. I know you WANNA stay inside Lynda Jacobs for the next heresy airy Valerie Voss out to don't get mad acts you're gonNa have to come outside at some point valid. Go mass stopping gloves. They'll put you on astronaut. Suit data come outside continual. This is following This is a story that happen in Georgia actually in February February twenty third but it is coming in his gaining national attention and I heard about it earlier in the week and have just been looking at it as a video has been surfacing online. Which is the story of Ahmad are brief. Who was a twenty five year old black man who was jogging at Brunswick neighborhood of Georgia and it appears that now coming out of there was three men that actually stopped him a fifty six year old? Man Named Gregory Mick Michael and his son Travis. Mcmichael was twenty five. They were driving a pickup while on was jogging and while he was jogging they passed cash and then they waited a little bit until he reached up to them. He tried to go round. There was some altercation ensued with him and Bam where they stopped him and he was trying to get away. Because he doesn't know these Peop- all he's just jogging proceeded to shoot at him. I shot he died. The police went through the parents home. They told the parents that he was involved in some type of burglary e out of home and shot so the parents at that point. Don't really know anything that's going on. They okay whatever the MOMS said you know. Authority was speaking so she just took it at face value come to find out your stories unfolding and they changed their story and say that he looked they were trying to do as citizens rice because he looked like somebody back was attached to a string of robberies in the neighborhood that they were trying to do a citizens arrest and so then they shot him but now footage has come out. How from the person that was with them who was part of it and I'm sorry they don't have his name here but he should be being charged as well. He went recording in on his phone. and I guess it got leaked by the police department. Are Somebody with you know. Now it's out which shows the altercation. He was unarmed. Was taking a job you know. His family is very upset. The now the thing is is that these men are in custody right now. No charges have been filed against new. The Father George McMichael. He is known in the community. He's been working with law enforcement for the past thirty years until he retired a few months ago. I've been beginning of the year. He retired so to districts. New prosecutors already recused themselves from the case the third prosecuted that can bring charges again is saying that there's not enough evidence to bring forth charges. There's some type of corruption. That's going on in Georgia. So now they are like. Oh always always and so now that they're asked incur the Georgia Bureau of Investigation to get involved. Because now that they're they're asking a grand jury to convene to bring charges when Earth of all. These people can already bring charges to this person. Great convene in Georgia until Joe Twelfth already happened in February break. Already know that if this man was black that had shot a White Guy Jogging. You have already been in jail under dams under okay and you know. I don't really know what to say I to me. Everybody wants to put up a poll justice. For what about justice for Timmy? Arise what about Jesse Landau Casio for Sandra Brown? What about it Eric? Garner like Ejaz just continues to the gesture for the blanks. I need an until somebody now by all means. I'm not saying but I don't have to die. Black people are GONNA have to die to do what's needed to be done in this country to keep things either within the black community build up things schools police forces and things that are for us than by US or start killing some now until found this whale somebody has run and make it but the people behind them dead wants to stand up and do the things whatever they may be because they got other stuff going on not Wilson. I don't even know why she's a messing around with the lawyer. These people are going to continue to what they WANNA do. Weren't about as somebody else is going down. You're right but I'm saying until people do what needed to be done. Whatever that is you keep putting up prayers for solid south right right. Well we'll send take it easy. I feel compassion in your hurt in your team. A I'm not getting well. What if any city running? I'm not doing it talk. I'm talking over you because I don't watch narcos off a don't doing right man. Quiet has begged my bond right now so I can't say what I really wanted to say. But a city contract right by a facebook please. Being confessed own court. He's not going over to this none of that. It's just a you know sitting there going the of Sydney prayers for I gave a gonNa be like Damn Garbey. You've really win there now. Now here we go. He go once again. This breaks my heart as a black man. That's been involved. That's been of victim of alabi myself. Who has been discriminated against? The black man has been discriminated against them day one. I've enough assured that the other brothers that are in the chat rule have been through some type of discrimination in nate aligned with the Babylonians so this hits home When I saw this particular Video Steve. Call me up a Mulligan me after the show. When when I seen this video was very disturbing and you are right once again The white man shooting innocent black man in cold blood and this these discrepancies lawyers in the counties. Because everyone knows each other. This is a bunch of yes. As far as I'm concerned the sun end the father needs to be in jail immediately immediately behind this because there was four different ways to deal with this incident. But you know what the way they dealt with it. They dealt with anger in racism. And that's all this is about the situation. They created rain right exactly. There was two. Here's the first look out his jogging. He's finding his business. Mannheim business for business is money his business. That's the first thing you leave him alone. Secondly why does again it goes? Why do you take the law into your own hands? Because they think they justify Mrs what happened. They took the law. It's the own hands because of the racist upbringing that these men has racist for hundreds of years. This goes back to the great great grandfather who was a slave owner for them to shoot this man in cold blood in should've been cold blooded with no questions asked thank God. Whoever this person was took this video because this would have been up open and shut case. These men need to be arrested to date right because the courts closed. They need to be arrested today. I don't care about corona virus right now. These men need to go to jail state of jail for the rest of their lives. The courts may be closed but the police stations are not low. They lacked they ass up and let them stay until the course opened back up then they can go try to whatever they gotta do. Frankly I don't give a shit about five crystal. Kay speak because I may say but we just can't say in place in chat who don't Type Yoga say they. They know their names. They've been in that in southern Georgia once again. We gotta keep an eye on this story because this is who they ain't GonNa get prosecuted. Discrepancies getting thrown. Now night. They get off my wife. You get off or kill Black People. You know that this is not the case on in this. My Blood Bali right now. I'm just ally. The Nation has sought video and hopefully just like a forty. Like you mentioned these folks pass away Senate Jay much respect to them an alcohol today family. Just like in in Cleveland when the when the COP shot the the the the black man from running away from him in the back. Thank God bank right. Took the video but that man is serving thirty years in jail for this and it's sad that now we need video proof of the Babylonian killing black men for them to get convictions and convicted. It's a horrible story. Goes to my blood is and his at this privilege at his best strike once again. Not only that. This was a decent young black man that was contributing to the society He had a great family. His brother was on TV talking. They were very articulate. Waited speaking about him in these cells and again it goes back to racism. That's deep in this country. That's that's sparked by other King. Forty five men tell you. That's why we gotta get this guy out of hand. Wolf Stop. But I'm just glad who ever took this video game video up to the police and hopefully this would be it will be conviction and sending you only way we're going to start cursing plugging piss you off. Make real angry in the baby did and he was running. The God grabbed them and just shot him. He didn't toll guy trying to get away. He was yeah exactly town. Abreu continuing as a CRANSTON. Seaney me now. How off go up? Typically your don't now about that LINE BRIBE. Be All the way about that day like you want to be about that life. Don't kill each other brother or sister do some day and Co goes out there and all on the travel not today we got jobs allow cases down your soon as the coffee shop out here is said that man insult to injury. You Georgia you want to open up barber now. Salon movie cares but you can open up their damn court right go where they should be arrested right now in sitting in jail right now what what do we need to fool a grand jury for all you gotTa do go out drunk we need a wedge jury to think about investing them make no sense to Crystal Jersey set Brunswick right home was yes no no no. I don't like that statement issue wouldn't saying that the bloods can't decipher where Brunswick going go to Jersey. Still plenty job but now you go to the intelligence of the black man in Latino George comparison to New Jersey young lady you don't even from La. Don't I'm laughing my stomach? My stomach is laughing. How do you feel what were you saying about? The intelligence of the Black Man Young Lady. What are you saying? Hey let's say it was funny. That would be hilarious that they go and then they all get locked up in Brunswick we live our God the shot by I think by the state and they all have warrants which is supported. Brunswick they have GPS. I'm going to. I'm going to be moving from chat room. Don't say that is that good. Oh School putty like you right now. Just she says she says she ready as you closed. She hold as the crazy Finished she she she crazy. I need to focus on getting the date I before she could go right out together. They ain't very state. You Madam Pizza use that same you chase down subpoenas and that now. That's that's not have I. Don't WanNa talk about no more Babylonians sprite. They they drive me with this story. That was that was very training. That wouldn't that statement Let's some quick of sports. There we get we get a news. And what's in US? Charge the then you come back down the revolution Welby okay. Let me come back down. Come down seeing bobby. Here's the funny. When you do sports you could do like angry Babylonian sports and the Babylonians today. I should've looked outside fans. Well we gotta almost angry Babylonia. We got an angry wife. I said we have an angry wife but she's not bad. I don't think he'd Babylonian Earl. Thomas wife was arrested for allegedly threatening him at gunpoint after catching him with another woman. I'm rewrite there isn't the allegedly invited Earl Thomas. He's he plays for the bike. Is I believe it is he? His wife his His brother in two others were a re Were arrested in his wife with the rest of the August and Last month in reports this is from. Tmz According to TMZ because she found another woman and she got angry and she held them at gunpoint. Nina is her name. She is reportedly facing charges of burglary of a residence with intent to commit aggravated assault with a deadly weapon in a family member. According to the police Nina tracked down her husband via snapchat at an argument. Why social to get job in trouble all the time because some people might not know it but when it tells you where you said where you eggs. Yeah that's what I'm disabled. Mind you we know why but I. I don't snap that much anyway. It about business whatever. Barbie was on that Snapchat bandwagon a couple of months ago. I is not only they won't be. We're GONNA make you a snapchat show adobe She says she allegedly tracked him down at an argument over his drinking in found him at a nearby airbnb with his brother and two other women. Are they have them a little? Little Party She reportedly enlisted to her friends to confront him and she took the earls gun from his home a nine millimeter. Beretta Jess to scare them You know 'cause I guess you what's going to. She really shoot them. I mean she I mean she was with You just pull it you might as well use it what they say but according DMC held them or when the last time you call spell. And I'm really the again me. Allegedly held at gunpoint at the house at the find him. Oh was negative big Neg Aim Bay with a woman and One of the woman accompanying a-coming Nina was the wife of Ex Seth Thomas Donahue He. This Gust Orbi Air Police thing. One of the women catch an instant with a cer. Here we go again with the cell phones. They got caught because one of the girls record in one day of cell phone yourself stupid stupid habit route three forty one in the morning Women we we women so the this is a husband. Right here has airtime. Yes and is the white right and earl was with his band and it was with two of way his brother and that was what two chicks Dave Go. Someplace at three forty one in the morning to smacks right. He goes on those snapchat. That's where she finds the located right. The other young lady started videotaping while they were there. You said one of mainers accomplices was year was. I guess she was video. Everything right personal wife to heart free. It's her and they went to the location. Yes to locate AIRBNB. They was at and she picked up. One of earls guns. She got the gun before they went to the house. Right right so it was premeditated it was premeditated gun. She got her girlfriends. They got in the car. They win over to the AIRBNB scant. Eric Eric is in there but as negative getting ready to smash or smashing right right. Look at this this one of the listen. This is where the big should've stir that not okay glac women auditor. Mons this woman needs to go to jail for attempted murder Anything this woman is the weapon. And that's all these five years in jail her two year of peace in jail a this has nothing to do with love. This has everything to do with control. Which is jealousy. Anger should a campus pain and say it doesn't matter the young man young man doesn't deserve to die or you could threaten kill because he pulled his hair and put it in a cell yell that's known and wheezing. There's still not a reason for this woman. God bless my African American. Since I've been in love with about Ebola in my lifetime I even have a baby while one of my African Americans African love my but black women have control is and this woman has a control now. We don't have a control issue. We have a trust issue when y'all be act like y'all have a wife or girl. Y'All won't be like single now if you have stuff on just as apple in the man bobby. Cologne doesn't keep the heavy artillery independence. Name thank you. Thank you got the Doug with my manager but I say you know what I would not get these people this aspect in the steamy cuffs out. Hello this is Bob you just and you just said my whole propel feel she too. I'm not disputing that. But to go get her two girlfriends. You just say premeditated. They went to go get the gun. They got the gun they get in the Cau- African American sisters get into you remember. I don't care what anybody said about me in the chat room after I have to call the police on African American young lady a year and a half ago okay. Would you say that we know for? You shouldn't have been telling you about three days later so I don't care. This is my african-americans says Barbie Cologne. This woman took her on. You said you said it right bobby. She couldn't just walked away. 'cause she knew earl was put that heavy artillery and some are and some nine Corey Red Barbecue. She could've went to call the mother of family her girlfriends she could read a Bible verse. She could've been online five. She couldn't smashed. Somebody else could have been a whole various things to do. She got a pistol a gun and went. I say Timmy Jill for this young lady. Now Tori Nina Ugo two years each for her girlfriends as community service. That's a low fine if the goes Lee. Who Know Fine What was later arrested? Basically bonded out. She was arrested in bonded out. No one who bonded out heat is day. Japan got into realized. Exactly bonding her out. Otherwise grail would have been there birdies out down violence barbecue. Barbecue alone is Sydney J. If I was in a but asked negative in the hotel room with the last any will say a Baddie. A made a power. Christ and I take two biogas because if I take biography Martinez don't work. I got the right and my beloved Tania. Walks into the rule with a gun barbeque along and she gets arrested. Because I did this Sinister at Cologne City Jay and every woman in that we can be mad as me all all you want me to power. Christ I am not billing how my beloved women out of you know you go go hand now for Bradenton of good to kill me and the little the little badly that I was smashed chat. Put up a number one you. If you're dumb ass go sit there bell out another woman. Cindy. I'm not bailing out this. This woman and I'm going to continue to press charges to the fall of the law walk. My wife pulled the now you. I was wrong. And Norwegian I should never pulled out the heavy artillery. O- Dan how you know you are. Let me ask you this question before we leave if you see a man A. Let's play the role. This is union and you'll go over there with the gun scare owning arresting. Would you be mad that your husband wouldn't bill you out of jail? Happy Mac does even got me is just to make me sick. Sin If you went over there after the shots to kill it from last night and you went over there brandishing a gun to get arrested. Would you expect your husband out of jail? Yes you don't when I do get out of here you got more is world is in Weightman in my sneakers and lighter fluid maybe Hello John Ours. Any Shabby Bank is the money move. Fans you want to go to big house county. You're GONNA go home. Were Great Story. Thank you but chair will put up a number one does put a number one all the ladies there. Same thing women in her bail her out and drop the charges the all that. I'm begging that he belts out because he made a statement before. Tmz broke broke the story. He says so. My eight and just hit me This more innocent. I'm going to be on teams alive from the altercation that happened with me He says so. I wanted to get ahead of rick because there's really not anyone's business is pissing me off that it got out. Of course it's GonNa get out your famous person making fifty five million dollars year. He is going to get out Bob but the world we live in today but you know instead of talking about it. Just just keep us in our prayers stuff like this and we try our best. We tried to live our best life as possibly as we can but sometimes it don't go as planned. Just pray for us as we go through this stuff. We're back talking. I'm seeing my kids so just keep listening. You're prey so he probably was the one that built around. He comes with a political statement. For right wholesome American barbecued long. Do you think that if my beloved lady pulled a gun out on me while I'm pulling out the heavy become a go back home to? Who pulled out a gun on? She just had a momentarily lasted jasmine. You'RE GONNA laugh. You're going to say right now. She's shots you all right. She would want you to bail me out not press charges. She knows she was shooting because she wasn't trying to risk that fifty five million dollars. Thirty two million guarantees trying to risk that we don't genius. She goes in plays out right. Pay Right okay. They must not have a strong premiums. Naggar Nain Lena Bay Cologne if your husband pulled out a gun on you to skin you and would you would you? Would you them now? Has Behind stay right here? Oh show but you want him to bill. You out jess no. No if your husband pulled out a gun on you great. Pfa for what he gets back out to sway company but wait a minute but you want him to build. You're yeah absolutely. I'm sorry. It's a double standard. We have many of that right. That's what it is so way I'm a female is supposed to be in jail. Say you like did it. Shouldn't it did it? Yes that's what I said fast and I've listen Bob. Shut up real quick. Anybody that's didn't chat room look here. Who and I mean see broke Eric. Farmer is in the building fabulous FAB e Baio Baio who was the net net net. Serano shine the Logan. Hey Barbara Ego. Keep by ADS right. Wow Wow William Dixon. Hey because de la was end ability kaneohe. Bobby can you would leave in jail in not bill amount but you expect for him to Bellevue out a wad of double standard with my African American citizens rights versus. Y'All do you expect us to accept the in edge accelerate et CETERA? Right yeah bound my hands out okay. I had a gamble momentarily other sanity. I'm back now and you better be signed on papers. I bet that get the hell about here. Okay God bless chatroom queen who else shelley. Thomas Lowers things. Marvis brewers. Are you going to bail me out? Marvin Okay because you love me that much. That's my damn tricky. Tell you Washington of Cox Babylon by Mr Roberson. And you're going to. You're not GonNa let you baby all Abidjan hold on Fellas in a chat room. Put UP. A number one. If you will bail out Cindy J in Bobby Cologne or a number two. If they're PUNK ASS in jail y'all been I leave. I'm burning down when I get out. They they used mind control. We use my control over men. Well I'm just saying it's my control other controls but you know because you know how we do. Hey not a one. If bobby thing in jail or number two you build after pointed a gun at you and threatened whatever and they got locked up in prison is really a. Thanks for it is ma. Tricky say he gets out Sydney tricky level as he left his beautiful. Black Queens aim is crude. I'm saying he going to get us out in the song going bell south. See y'all y'all otherwise y'all horrible your harmless gotta sign you know foolish. How Do Women Right Right? And they know the bull crap they put. Pena's it my. She did that. She would have been in. Ghana gone his Princeton. Really Princess. See you get. Hello Mister Roberts Tomorrow. Right wow okay. Man Who Johnson. Neuroma HE PROVOKED. Baylor out is his number one. They say Bobby Now. I love both your. You'll definitely question about it if I'm GONNA put my border and say Number One You guys will have to stay in jail. I'm not building out. I'm not dealing with it. Michael Grassy said. He never even press charges. See that's why he my blue print issue your Spratt just been taken princeton new dusty Jackson you. You'll love me. Oh my God yup show Sydney body shape pertaining to travel. I say to filching is occasionally referred. If isn't the change. The MANSO warranty issues out anchor Al Gore term. I don't feel a Persian should threaten. Somebody's right because they cheese or teacher on the red right choices to stay from junior joint favorite of Egypt's nuclear just means for anybody. What if he was just tore has the right to her? You know the end for his words. Graham Kale Ritchie my rhymes. I regret it. I listen we listen to you. Mean spammy and grand charging scripture encourage roker fast posting Roy asks riding ratio we after her V. L. Dollars Per Hansen's mentioned strike Raphael streaming in any Sierra a Cologne in CJ fellow African American sisters. Who agreed with me First of all. You shouldn't even be should just leave. Go on about Your Business. And she's not bailing. You out of jail hold on wall. Can't somebody I'm just saying jolly morning. Show Sydney Bawden. Our WHO's this Eric? Reform of actual be next being next to be an he's saying he's GonNa leave in jail on off and she comes to the credit the HAM. I don't care what I had Since this noble told me what you throughout like threaten our white but not like that call go to bat. Even I pulled up good pause on his Eric I pull. I pulled out a pain is and I was guilty of that. That's still no right for you get. Your girl is getting a car while he's up there in the in the the being airbnb and threatened them with a gun. I'm not building you out. Whatever I'll be wrong and two of our life your Yuck US name which expanded her boom. Boom you stink. Listen you talking to a bronx represent new bill. Michaels three Jackson's Grassy Golden. He go let me sit there. So screw all a y'all talking about when you say not only will not only will. I not ask how Bobby Cologne you're in jail. I'm going to start a new relationship because we're done. I'm deleting you off of baseball all of that and I'm going to start a whole new relationship like a man just like high a move. The hallowing North Dakota you block all over the world. I'm not doing it you to because I'm coming this before because just a little bit again ever hall exactly see since this is what. I'm talking about Cindy listen. You can't have the double standard young ladies. Can't sit there and say Yoga guests me. 'cause I was emotional. Not BUILDING US out. No the second thing is kind of your emotion. Be Differing. Y'All emotion. Be On a thousand. We maybe like five. But y'all your willing to do it. But John Dillon for real. You'd think that if you and I was in a relationship with each other and I- bill you out of jail you pull out a gun on me and at night we go to sleep and I got. One are open ended passwords to my cellphone. You know that other check is still expand. You read the text while sleep because of a check worrying about me sleep at would since you pulled out a gun on media reading this text you got a bus see after she got the gum on a. I. I don't think she'll be enough to try to crap again him because she next time it won't be it might be all-girl you just got your just pop. Hit US in San Stain Drexel. They Johnson a beautiful black young lady with African American. We Love Oma chat with member of the week. She even said No. Keep your ass in jail. Stint bobby disappointed in both of you don't have. I'm very Paul. We both I brought a God. Bless by Eric flatly farmer. But right right by air. Whatever Byron your your middle name to Sean Flatley Harvey Sean Sean City border? Oh grinches put this quote. Second Princess Faucet Zero number okay. What a fair outcry against Kerr dangerous can't rain the on time. Dake thing you know get check we are has the right to take no runs rights. Kirby even join upon you as the point home. We went over time a little bit but we go keep continue. Shout out the Barbie. Thank you for the sport story. That was absent interested. Behold on everyone. Just stop for a second Bob. If you don't mind or the right now is the first chat will number two weeks. They're wanting be came a the original. I remember that they see Jimmy. Put that Black Quincy now. Since the fact that you are the first chat remember the week we know that lies and she's a hated everybody right now. One of the only Cox clause is a on the phone. Let's go one your replacement microfiche use. But he ain't going to this issue that I liked spent calling the stay under that only l. ways you went to all your overpaid or you're on the bay. 'cause YOU'RE GONNA leave me jam bill you. Maybe though I'm saying a man would never you go right off? Do you know who I am. Okay for one. Let's get the best rate son. Gabe oh listen. There's nothing on dumb. If you WanNa leave me jail clearly you okay. I'm not sure anyway so like you move on. While I'm staying behind jail. I move on to right. He said he put money on your books now. I don't WanNa have money in my books. I WANNA be free. You're going to have to bill her out right now that I'm not GonNa Change. My story I'm sticking to a baby you better bail my ass out. I bet that shoot okay. You Bet embed well. I'M GONNA have to move on to Michael. Asti am a little might be serious way. Because he's he's not going to press charges on them. Well Wael Stop. I gotta go and I know can't trust is by you can't trust. They can't trust long. Mike Grassy built you. Walk out you. The you're the high you can weigh the way my goes say might affect your travel. I don't do that cousin do that. We've got blessing very knowledge. We Manny represents us down before we do. I Love I love him to be. My Guy met so he'll and what's wrong with sometimes Bobby Cologne relationship that you know every once in a while and I say this in the most sincere way sometimes when you're in a relationship a man has some Kinda you know. Check as lady every once in a while and vice versa. You check us so you just you just purchase Lousy Disney get chuck for moments and. That's the problem is sometimes when US WOMAN. I mean women get checked. Then you getting just take your check. Take your check list this move on you and it's nothing wrong with that sometimes as a strong but man a compassionate man in a loving sometimes we have to check. You is But we do. It comes from a loving place Barbie Cologne. That's all same. Princess just checked you. I would just accept it and keep pushing. Charlie wanted show. Sinbad on my remember. Everybody don't know Mike said more timelessness in EJ. He's also a former chapel number two week. He's beloved in the Chat Room. He's loved He always put his posting group a very involved in the show and we appreciate that shared his story some of his life with us and we appreciate back and he walks around with a twenty two caliber every day One of his guns twenty. He carries that in the morning then. He carries it thirty eight at night. Continue OUT SHORT BIPOLAR UNDER SERVED. The street of springs they really. Don't Richard Leery telling them okay. Advanced Friends santas preparedness. Even is pink. I won't have any seven short of ood. Oh Michael Grass with the heat cheese. He can't go in a snowstorm or Barbie was drafted. Gets you out. Come and get me. I got you girl so we can get Anybo so Mike. Are you really young lady Acapulco pulling a pistol after you try to put a heavy into another young lady you really build a personnel also? A one thing that is certain US men will do anything for the smash even if a woman pulls a pistol now so God bless you. You'RE GONNA continue to relationship with the women after all of this trigger a seat. He always me you am you for minute and I brought you back right now. We can go back like he gets it. He saying got himself a rider wide. That's Mike word. Is this the jetsons in my own? Gilligan's island like you this. He's dead way we around these parts. What you joy. Hey Michael Hey you need a real man. Put it into perspective. Well okay you know we gotta go you have Prince Duke it out gobble kitchen. This is if it's in the building et everything. He loved his head Neuroma Johnson Fabulous Fab Michael Street Justice Grassy. Hey baby on me out Dixon. Hey guys who was did. Is He apprenticed? Hey who Lewis the build. Hey corrine corrine biggest lamey I revamp said the ability out. I The godfather of Sola Tracy rates in the building the Sondhi trail shelly. Thomas Larssen Who Else is here With a value time is valid babe. I've grown Diane and say goodbye to the Queen. Shine the low game. Derrick Jackson Sean Hayes. Jones non-roman Johnson Veneta. George Henry think that is all good. Yes Maga's pro is here That's it guys. Good thank you so much. Wabi and thank you for that Sport Story. A node Sydney's exhausted by all of this We find real quick. You guys catch me a facebook Robbie. Cologne Esta Gran barbeque Cologne designed. I'm sorry Diane homegirl. Icu May do. We sat at Diane. Diane Hall can be built in Jesse we say Diane Hall kind of Guy. In Home Tiffany Thompson to build it. Okay if you're if you're not popping up here you guys don't put anything. I can't see active. No is twenty eight people. Here have many. But I can't know who's here because I don't see your name so y'all WanNa get shot. You gotta put a hard something we gave you a extra bonus today and we appreciate shows Bobby Cologne everywhere sending where can they find? You signed jam facebook on and picked John. J E. S. three. Okay Sean Harvey'll facebook comedian. Sean Hogan facebook funny on Instagram. Once again you know we appreciate you guys. We love you got so much. Thanks for hanging in there for you guys. What we did we stopped the fee for Amanda and God has blessed us to go thirty six minutes after the fact. So we appreciate your. We'll go to Lee Scott's GONNA set it off. We see you guys in a ladies wave at everybody up blood show we see on the how people.

Laura Laura Laura Sean New Jersey Joe Jessica Wilcox Sean Harvey Sydney Laura Turner facebook. Newark Mike Strasbourg New York City Cindy Bethlehem A. It Albany Craig
The demise of the landline

The Current

09:32 min | 1 year ago

The demise of the landline

"This is a CBC podcast. Hi I'm Laura Lynch. This is a podcast passed from the December eighteenth edition of the current on Monday we aired a segment about how scam calls are changing the way people use their phones but the rise of scammers aren't the only thing that's changed for the telephone remember when the whole family shared a single phone hi Paula cartons not here. Oh well who do you WanNa talk to. It's for you it's Paula. As in Carlton's Ex Girlfriend Paula. I wonder why she won't talk to me a doing and really looking forward to tonight's nice sweeping homework. Yeah Okay a little home phone drama from the ninety s hit TV. Show fresh prince of bel-air freelance writer. Julia chill well recently wrote about the slow demise of the landline and what it means for family interactions for the Atlantic and we've reached her or New Jersey. Hello Hi Laura Laura thanks for having me. Hey I think that we actually reached you on a landline. Is that right and it was kind of ironic as we were trying to figure out The best connection and and I was thinking the irony of this piece that I've I've interviewed people on my cell phone and I'm doing this interview on my landline. And it's just come up. A lot connection sounds better. Well Hey the connection sounds pretty good. So let's get it. Let's get into this. What do you think about that clip? That we just played. How common do you think that scenario who is today? Well I think that It's not really common at all. And that's what got me thinking about the loss that's happening Actually started to think about it because I have an eleven year old daughter who one day I had a rare phone call on my cell phone from a friend of hers and I realized when I told her. Oh the phone is for you. Oh that's just something that never happens in our house anymore and I don't expect it to really happen anymore Kids just don't use the phone to make phone calls anymore and I kind pushed to do that at school and show. She's done it a couple of times and she'll come home and say that it was everyone was talking about the fact that she had called them because it was such an anomaly. I just don't think it's happening anymore. So this caused you to think about things. I gathered a remember some things. What are your favorite memories of using the phone when you were a kid Well what I was most remembering. Start out the piece talking about you know talking to my best friend For hours almost every day and you know being on the court I would end up sitting on my kitchen floor At night after my parents had gone to bed and twirling that quarter on my finger and I just remember having You know a Lotta silly conversations and laughter but also really serious important conversations that I started to think you know aren't happening probably via text at least from what I see so now but nowadays a landline is. You'd really as archaic reminded how it used to be seen how the landline needs to be seen Well it was. When it was more of a presence in the household I think and when it rang? there'd be like a pause and then I might hear my mother call my name. It was always always a good positive feeling that the phone was for you. I don't think it had any of the rhetoric that seems to accompany a ringing phone today. from what I've from the people I've talked to and I quote a twenty seven year old and the piece in the Atlantic piece You know he really said that he feels the sense of dread every time the phone rings and because he feels that if someone's not texting him and they've decided they really need to get something from him some kind of information that's when they're going to call to he said extract in answer so I think it definitely had more of a positive connotation Before and you know it's just changed so much to This feeling of dread that millennials team to happened the phone rings I remember in my house. It was more or less bright in the center of the House right beside the stairs. Set into a little alcove in the wall seemed to be almost furniture built around foams landline teams back. Then Yeah Yeah. That's right and I mentioned that as well in the piece that You know the inherent design of the phone itself even having transmitter and the receiver meant that it was just it wasn't you weren't able to multitask while you're on the phone. It was a one task at a time kind of thing and and the furniture and the design kind of reflected did that. There'd be a phone in the hall of the family or the front of the The home and there'd be a bench next to the phone because people are going to sit and be excited needed to make that phone call. They weren't doing million other things at the same time. So how is the lawsuit landline. Changing families than from what you found out Well I think It's just sort of another. It's not the only lost that's happening But it sort of some of the experts I spoke spoke to said. It's sort of another opinion the cushion that we're not spending as much time having shared family experiences so it certainly isn't the only way that we share family experiences sharing a phone but It's also what's replace a landline. Having the smartphone replace landline means. That families are engaged in their own sort of one expert. Said techno cocoons where they're going off into their own spaces. They're in their virtual spaces and so I think to kind of sum it up. There's just this shift oft in presence. I think people aren't really present in the same way that they were even at the family dinner. They might be on all of their different devices. And so I think The biggest difference is that we're not having as many of these shared experiences. We're not approaching. We're not really approaching the world from this inner circle of the home like we used to. We used to have an answering machine that you know announced residents and now we each have our private phone that just announces an individual. You mentioned when you were younger a younger you would be twirling the cord around your finger but then even before we got into the handheld phones in the digital phones there was a cordless phone. Did that change things I think that was sort of the beginning because there seems to be something Attached when the phone was actually fixed in in space and attached to the wall. There seemed to be something where it located us in in the home. And even the cordless I wouldn't say the cordless as much as the south but it started ready to draw people away to their private rooms. Faith so do you talk to people who who might be able to recommend. Bring back some of the things families are losing out on. What are they acing? Yeah Well I think just Sherry charcoal. WHO's an expert on on this type of thing and technology recommends he's having at least she calls them sacred spaces? You know having some spaces in the home that are completely device free Another psychologist Larry Rosen. I spoke to recommended recommended. Really investing in these other types of shared experience having dinner together Watching a movie. It doesn't have to be a long amount of time. It could even is be a half hour playing with young kids And you know having one space maybe where you all charge your devices so that You as a parent can sort of monitor how much people are on them and and leave time and space for those other shared experiences. So what are some of the things that you do. What are your practices around cell phones Well I'm actually I've signed a pledge that's called wait until ace That was started by to Austin Jin mothers and that means that Sort of banding together with other parents in my community We've all agreed that we're not going to get our children smartphones and they can have a basic kinda stripped-down cellphone but not smartphones until at least eighth grade and My daughter does have an Ipod so that she she can sort of texts. Some of her friends like for homework and stuff like that but she keeps it in the same space where I keep my phone So we have like a little spot for it and and that's where they both charge And we don't talk at the dinner table we eat dinner together every night And we try to have a Sabbath on the weekend as wow which was one of the recommendations so you know one pick one day of the week where you just go screen free and device-free how kids feel about that briefly what did you say. How do the kids your kids feel about that? Oh I only have the one daughter and actually she's liked it a lot the we've we've been doing it About every weekend And she's been amazed at how long the day feels so. It seems like there's a lot more time do things and and we spend more quality time together. Yeah it's really. It's really been interesting to see. She hasn't had any problem with. She's actually really liked it and I've heard that A lot from other people that seems like a lot of kids are actually waiting and would be happy for some more sort of restrictions and limitations. Julia show thank. Thank you for your time. Thank you so much do chose a freelance writers who was an ordeal New Jersey for more C._B._C.. PODCASTS GO TO C._B._C.. Dot C._A. Slash podcasts.

Paula New Jersey Julia Laura Lynch Laura Laura writer Atlantic Carlton Larry Rosen Austin Jin one day twenty seven year eleven year
Should We Split This?

How Men Think with Brooks Laich & Gavin DeGraw

51:11 min | 1 year ago

Should We Split This?

"Welcome one welcome all welcome you do yours and marchers to the beat of any drum at starbucks. We know that wellness has a lot more to to do with finding your unique journey than following the latest trends. That's why we have something for every taste every craving every mood and every you you like our new coconut milk Lante an almond milk honey flat white because not journeys are the same. And what makes it right is that it's yours. How men think with world flight and Gavin de Gras iheartradio podcasts? Okay so we are going to Intro intro our guest for today's discussion and amy you are sitting there just gloating at because I feel. It's perfect timing Valentine's Day coming with Valentines days. Your holiday in the head ahead. No but I will. I will say this. I'm not planning on it at any by any means but if I ever get divorced. It's going to be before Valentine's Day because I hate Valentine's Ma. The Jesus totally like what we're doing so we're talking about talking about Valentine's steal. The punchline news got that is amy wanted to play. Some sick Joel could do a divorce conversation prior to Valentine's Day but it turns out if there's an actual real connection at this time of year for that So amy do you want to introduce our esteemed guest. We are very lucky to have her yesterday. So Oh and Laura Laura Wasser is here and I was around when I introduced Laura to you guys. I said she is literally and I standby this probably the most well known and prolific. Is that the right word. Divorce attorney in the country dubious honor. So I know when I wrote knows your name is synonymous with divorce. How does that a veal Yeah it's It feels great. You know when you think of divorce in misery you think Laura Wasser people are going to say I'm getting a Wasser ever get into. Why no I my? My whole jam is just trying to educate people about not only divorced but about marriage and relationships and and how with better communication and compassion. We can handle ourselves better in all relationships but certainly if we're getting divorced and an particularly if we're getting divorced from someone with whom we have kids and are going to have to co parent. I'll give you guys a little background for our listeners on Laura so oh she's an attorney. She's an author entrepreneur and family law experts. He's represented a huge list of celebrities. Came crashing around Reynolds and affairs Jimmy Levin Maria Shriver word down the row but she maintains that divorce is the great equalizer in that it terrifies everybody. Everybody Buddy. So she's made it her mission to change us by creating it's over easy which gives divorced couples and affordable resource to dissolve their marriage in all fifty states. You're an author of New York best time seller like high five to that. That's amazing. I wish I could write that under my name is one of my books like New York. Best Time Mediocre Mediocre. podcast US eighty so mediocre. podcast manager. I I just WANNA make up. I WanNa make a quick note Jimmy Iovine i Jimmy Living Novas but I have no. I have a friend at school. His Buddy of mine. He has kids that are in his Jimmy Lavine so I don't want him to listen and So anyway one of the people in this state and amy why does this. Why does this conversation conversation for? You have never been married. Why does this excite you so much? It doesn't excite me like Christmas excited. Here's what I had to take your coat off because you said your sweaty because I think relationships fascinate me and I think that look fifty percent of marriages do not work so I think if we start talking about divorce divorce we may make it easier for people that are going through it and we also could prevent it. I think Laura has a lot of great great input. We just had an amazing conversation for the last half an hour. Getting Ready for the show about. It's not about the divorce it's about the relationship I'll at Laura speak on it but I would love to ask you. Do you think marriage works. I think marriage works for some people I think if you are a couple that has found your soulmate or found even if it's not your soulmate. But it's your groove groove your best friend somebody you want to be. God bless I mean. I'm not I don't want people to get divorced but I also think realistically speaking in Twenty Twenty there are people who have been married for a certain period of time and for whatever reason have grown apart things have separated them in some way and I think it's healthier for individuals and kids to see too happy parents that may not be living under the same roof then miserable people but being able say we've been married for fifty years so I think it's not working and we can't figure out a way to make it work. I want it to be easier for people at least financially and legally to split up then I think they can really focus on the heart and the mind and emotionally doing things in a mindful cost effective way. I've given even advice to one of my best friends in the world. He has four kids Eight seven six five this one. I gave him this advice. But he doesn't and the phone number but him and his wife were not happy they were individually and and as a partnership just not happy and it just didn't seem and I told him as like buddy give yourself a chance at happiness like and also these kids are smart. Kids will figure out that that they I know that. There's an energetic disconnect between mom and dad like they're already eight years old they're figuring this stuff out already so I've given him that advice like I think it's best for you as my friend for you and for her to separate and move into a different chapter of happiness totally and again helping people figure out a how to get to that next chapter and then how to thrive in that next chapter. I'm sure we've all known somebody who's been through a divorce and they're just still so angry. Ten years later women particularly just they have that angry face as there's nobody talks that can fix it just still so pissed about their axe. I also want people to be able to move into their next chapter but you know to move into that next chapter healthy way because I also know a huge number of very happily divorced people like they seem to be the happiest group of all the people. I mean you asked me. If I've been married I was married for like ten seconds in Nineteen ninety-three. Okay when I was a baby. We didn't have kids but I have two boys with with two different DADS neither to whom I was married but you know talk about happy divorced or happy separated. We all have Thanksgiving together a couple of months ago. Everybody was there my kids. Their Dad's might current boyfriend. His ex wife was like how the hell did. I ended up here but we player. Was this a plan. Fargo this. This is Thanksgiving dinner. It sounds like you just showed up to the same restaurant by accident. This thank all those people and actually. I lost my mom over the summer. which she she always had thanksgiving in her house in Malibu and she always had everyone there even though she's married to my Stepdad? For like fifteen years my dad was there with his wife like we were always very inclusive in our family. So that's how I learned and so when we would have Thanksgiving at my mom's all of the baby daddies and everyone would come so this year. I had to do it at my house and so we had it at my house and we had all of the people there and look you know sometimes. Is it trying to have these relationships in smile and maybe fake it till you make it yes however one it was a it was a sad kind of melancholy Thanksgiving for me and these family members that the father of my kids were there for me. And we're like we love you. This is our family. We we all Miss Bunny but to all of our kids. My Boyfriend's included. We're so happy that their parents place I don't know how many of you are children of divorced but having that Thanksgiving warlike halfway through you gotta get everything bundled up and go to other person towel so that you can have dessert with that family. That's a pain and that does not make you thankful so so everybody was there. We did it for the kids. I say to people all the time. You gotTa love your kids more than you hate your ex. ooh What a great. I have that Tattoo on my the to go from you because I'm forty five almost orders folks. I guess I am forty ASECTS. Age is like right now. I'm older you're just try. Got A dial it back one back. Go back to forty one forty five minutes. He whispers forty six. You're there I have a lot of friends who are quote what I call sticking it out like. It's not great. They are not miserable. There's drama like there's not constant fighting. It's just sort of dead in the water. What is your advice to those people who've been married ten twelve fifteen years? It could even be less than that even be two years short of yours do should people stick it out. How do you know when divorce is probably the better option? or it's it's time to pull the trigger and and move on. I don't know I mean I literally unless you are being you know abused or you're with somebody who has is a serious drug and alcohol problem and they can't no matter how much we have. They can't get better. I don't know I mean one thing is and I don't think we all readily admit this marriages sticking it out. I mean that's part of it and if it's not his shit it's going to be somebody else's shit so it's not always just like after the butterflies go away and you know the bloom is is off the rose. You're like I'm out. That is that is a very Hollywood way of thinking. I want the newer better deal. And I've seen that a lot of times men and women who come in and I'm like wait. That looks just I like your ex but like fifteen years younger. That's weird so I think that's part of it sticking it out has maybe you don't stick it out. Maybe you figure out how to grow and evolve with this person rather than just adding running. I think that's it right there. I think you need to continually evolve. You'RE GONNA change. I'm going to change in the course of my life. My wife is going to change the course of her life but also I think people over time can develop some sort of indifference. When they're once there was an attraction? They can just develop an indifference. And it's not staying connected enough enough to continue to learn and grow and accept your changes except their changes and also challenge each other. There's so many resources out there. Seminars All kinds of things books all kinds of things. There's areas in your relationship you can undoubtedly grow and maybe there's just an indifference in people where they don't WanNa put in the energy you to do it or they don't think they can. I don't think a lot of people in their marriage really really truthfully communicate all the needs and desires and cravings cravings and yearnings. They have for themselves for their partner. All of it I think there's they lack a little bit of courage there to share those things that could really actually to keep people together and like light their marriage on and it's work. I mean I think we all go to the gym because we WANNA stay healthy. WanNa stay tone when you may have to to do that. Whether it's therapy. Well maybe not but get mentioned he put on his shoes knickers him on the way. Overuse News having arrived in the mail is talking about because I think a lot of couples in law. You probably know this because people have to tell you. All their tails is that they really let their connection go when they let their intimacy go yet because we know tons of couples that haven't had sex in a year and it's like if you we'll have that one of the things is like you gotta get that back because that is connection and then the marriage can improve as opposed to saying. It's it's dead. Let's just let's true but there's also people there's something also to be said about growing apart and there's also something to be said about. I think sometimes people when they get into a marriage they probably you know sacrifice certain things and maybe change who they are a little bit and then as they get older they say you know what I wasn't that person but I was being that person so I think it's not always about reading books and everything can be saved well again but you could go to your partner and say listen. These are some of the things I really was super passionate it about when we got married and I let them go by the wayside for whatever reason we had to move to a different state. We had kids whatever is he or she has to be willing to go. I hear are you. I like that. Let's work on those things too. I mean you have to have somebody on the other end going. Yeah I'm willing to explore those things with you. You can't do it alone. It takes two to tango so so if you are willing to put an it's the hardest job you'll do. They say being a parent being apparent being married. That's like you know you and you really have to focus on it and if you're doing it but the the person isn't getting married was to improve your life It was I mean. I'm not married so I I thought. The whole purpose of getting married was the partnership of essentially improving each other's lives. So so if you're telling telling me that the two hardest things ever going to do or having kids in maintaining America doesn't that sort of defeats the whole purpose of the marriage is supposed to be. It's always improve each other's lives. What about what about easy? What about your career your your careers like I gotta maintain? There's things things Joe Michael Absolute Joy. Yeah Yeah but there's there's grind work in there. There's things that you probably like. I'm happy to do all of an into marriage. You're it's the same thing man the same early ever do I think to myself. Oh a half to go with my career. Don't and almost never happens. So it's so so so people feel that way about in in marriage to oh I have to change. They do but then you have a clean baby and you're so psyched. I mean that's just really what it is. It's the the parenthood is a better analogy to be like. It's the hardest thing you'll do but it's also the most rewarding and we could say the same thing about having a marriage they'll be of the diaper diaper diaper. There's no joy of the Dave till the day is gone and the new diapers man. Who what a joy oy this deeper and see? What caveat of it? I don't think I like Amy's question that you brought up while l. back was like well. What do you then decide? Let's get divorced after you've gone through the therapy maybe it's five therapists or or whatever right and again people come to see me all the time and I will never be the one to tell them that it's time but when they come say it's time then then what. I try to make sure that they are doing is educating getting their education of what this is GonNa look like what other people have gone through getting a support support system for yourself so many people come to me and they have no idea even what the law is in this state so forbid to put in the apartment they're heading into it's not Jennifer convertibles Laura thinks of nesting. What is that? It's a nesting is. I mean it's people people have been doing it for a long time but it's really become kind of a trend in family law. It's when the kids stay in the family residents and the parents kind of shift Out For custody okay. So I think it's great if it works for the family and I think it's great for a short time. I don't think it usually works forever. Although I read a story about a Canadian couple actually that has been doing it for like seven or eight years. They actually built like two apartments on either side of the House. And they just it's like rotate out and go into these apartments. Yeah could've dated love people but but I think it's really really good particularly during the process and maybe for like the first six to twelve months after because it's good for the kids and they don't have to keep moving and packing and going And I think if the people can get along and have somewhere else to go either they rent one apartment that they both go to on their off time but you have to be super super. Consider here at there too because like if you show off on show up on your off day and there's like used condoms. That's not gotta can't be right not good or h uh yes. They're still available to you. Here's a question not to use condoms. That is what my entire. This is. My point of the podcast. Do not use condoms. Laura Wasser learn. Here's a question for the lawyers questioning not just question the paternity route. I really business side Hustle. So you make your living in the space of of dealing with divorce. Has that in any way crept into your life bled over into your personal life where you feel cynical or negative or anything about the connotation of marriage or you able to compartmentalize comport mental compartmentalize mental alive. Part mental is. This is what I do for a living and I still have my beliefs and I believe in marriage here or this is what I do for a living. And I really don't believe in the Sacramento Marriage. I am a great compartmentalize earlier. I believe in marriage for some people. It's not for me like there's no reason for me to get married. I'm in a very very committed. Wonderful relationship right now. I'm not super down with the state of California being able to say what happens to my money or who I would owe money to you. If we ever split up you could do a pre nup I could do. I could do a pre nup I just you know I don't need it for me and for my significant other. That's not something that we need but I love a good wedding. I believe in marriage. I think it's important for people I don't believe you have to get married. Have kids obviously like people go. Well I wouldn't ever want to have kids if I wasn't that's not for me but again one thing you get good at in my job is not judging. I don't judge other people because everybody has their shit. Everybody has the staff you never quite know what's in somebody's past or what's going on behind closed doors so you try to listen and you try to problem solve question because you've you've seen so many different versions of failed relationships the second year in a relationship with someone and you you see any similar stories happening in your relationship. Do you assume it's headed towards the direction of the stories. You've already seen and encountered countered. No no I really don't remember like I'm fifty one years old. I've been in relationships for a long time as you said I've seen a lot of relationships. Serves I think everything that comes my way personally and professionally is new. I also think there's only a certain amount of things that can go wrong. I've now heard I thought pretty much everything and you can see red flags in any relationship or any marriage but like I said if I'm watching somebody else's play out I never know exactly what's going on. You don't say well I won't be able to pick you up at at Yoga because such and such you're thinking mark versus Tina uh-huh bad all over. I'm enough of my own relationship history that I could you. Just go josh. Good for you Laura. I like we're GONNA WE'RE GONNA have hold on. We'll get we'll we gotta take quick break. And then we're going to dive more into Laura's story after at this kind of a fun topic. Singles today are facing more dating pressure than ever before our expectations for social media and reality TV that perfect couple. 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Only at a sleep sleep number store or sleepnumber dot com slash iheart that sleepnumber dot com slash iheart sleep. Number's the official sleep and wellness partner of the NFL. Okay we're back from break and the timeliest podcast ever done it divorced one. As did he gave me this. Wants to ruin everybody's Valentine's Day here with a divorce cast prior to Valentine's Day but amy you had a real citing question. Do you want to podcasts. The Laura has a podcast right now. He'll tell us about and then she's coming to I heart. Yeah welcome and it'll be very similar to her podcast now but just broader and better. Yes so I learned this on your show that set and I might be getting the stat slightly off. But it's all whatever. The semantics seventy percent of divorces are filed by women and. I thought it was very interesting conversation that you can tell us about but You sort of tied it to women are the ones who have this emotional connection and when they finally just cannot take it anymore they will file whereas men are have have a little bit of an easier time sort of just rolling with it and they maybe they golf or they go out with their buddies and they aren't so sort of distraught over the the emotional national breakdown of the relationship. Yeah I mean at one of the things I do and we talk about on divorce which is the current podcast it will become all's fair same feed but on Iheart all's fair was just a little broader and had more to do with all different kinds of relationships but we talk about a lot the difference between in men and women and people always assume that I represent more women. I actually represent more men. You just hear about more of the women but so many men will come to me. And they'll have their divorce divorce papers that their wife filed and serve them with and they'll be like I thought everything was fine. I mean I. It wasn't great. Was the last time you had sex with her. Yes or or like they just you know I think men and against this also is goes in line with men that are working men. Okay so I don't always represent men or women but I almost always represent the breadwinner. The working person. The breadwinner is often the one. That's like I don't know it's not perfect but it's good and I love him or her and it's working. It's sometimes the person that may not have as much going on during the day. That's going I'm not happy and I want to think about why not happy and how I could be happy and what would happen and again no judgment. It happens that a lot of times women are the ones to file because they are kind of the organizers in the relationship. So they're now we're going to get divorced. I have had women not only file but help their husband find their attorney and then help their husband find and furnish their entire new home or apartment. Because that's that's what they do. It's just that I want to move on and once I get you set up. I can do that yes. Amy I have a question for you because when you ask questions made me think of a question you said that. Statistically true seventy percent of women are the ones that file for of divorces are filed by women. I thought about how so thinking about how you exit a relationship. Is it also the same as how you enter a relationship. So that maybe maybe. I'm not trying to generalize her paint women with a broad stroke care but do women enter a relationship for a deeper emotional connection then men men men may be entered for a different purpose. Then that's also why when that falls out the woman chooses to exit that lands very well on me I would say that's a thousand percent accurate that women are kind of the drivers of both the in and the out because of the because the emotion plays such such an important part for women in my opinion and the definition defining it saying like okay. So wait are we are. We monogamous. Are we this. And we're this and have to define find it in a way that makes more sense and I think the connection is so for women and people can email us and call us and tell us but for women the connection Shen emotional the emotion the sax all of it creates the relationship and the connection so as it starts to dissipate they are seeing the relationship fall apart whereas men. I do have an easier. Time as the relationship is very secondary to them. I have my golf of my job. I have my kids I have my life life and yeah you're you're okay. Yeah why do you think that is. Why is that different? Is that like to you. Is that really Auburn. Never been out with a golfer before they really get that only dates golfers water waterpolo players. But I've switched it to golf kappa. Okay let me get your question or not a question but a comment about that. I feel like girls thousand women. In general when all of their friends are getting married they will then rush into social precious. Yes jumping to relationship just to get married or we've definitely agree with you. I disagree with that. I think it's a thousand percent true nine hundred and ninety six percent. I disagree with I I don't know anybody in my head that's going. Oh my God and maybe I just don't know but like Oh my God everybody's getting married. I I need to find somebody just Dimitri what do you think yeah. I think you're on currently dating somebody in there like let's get married when are we don't think he'll get brooks. I have many friends that panic ECM married. They were on air in that McNary late twenties early thirties because every one of their friends we rick and I have all the same friends plans they all did it and they married like a giant toolbag because they were so desperate to get married because in our society you feel like a giant failure failure. If you aren't married and don't have kids. Does that work. On the obverse point at totally works on the on the trend among friends you will get divorced all domino toppling of these of these groups of friends. I've seen that here in La. I've talked to people in new. ORC One of the reasons when we created it's over easy. which is this online website where you can get divorced for fifteen hundred dollars much less than what I would charge you at my office but the main point of it was also have a community? So you join that community. There's a whole bunch of contents you can read about it. Reach out to other people. Listen to podcasts. Asked about it. Have Group chats that. You don't have to convince your friends that you're having dinner tomorrow night to get divorced. You could talk to somebody across the country. That's gained divorced. You know and and also a ton of resources so that you can either find mental health find childcare find insurance if it's not available through your employer find dating apps and also find you know you could say your engagement ring online service. It's getting divorced two. Oh Hey what's going on. So what do you like. What do you think of a mediator? I love meat eaters. I would say that. At our firm probably eighty to eighty five percent of our divorces are mediated because because it's prohibitively expensive both financially and emotionally to have a trial and to go to court and our courts are so clogged so find a mediator which is a neutral party that that has some experience. We use a lot of retired judges. I now do some mediation to rarely were. I'm the mediator and I represent and I work with both parties to do it. 'cause I've been doing this long enough titled Half Do so you could and you could both have consulting attorneys but it still makes it easier. Then you don't have to run the court and get like a slamming of the gavel verdict. You can have somebody say you know what this is. What will probably happen? How do you feel about this and it's really helpful because the other thing is especially in a divorce it's like no other kind of lawsuit if you're in? A landlord tenant law suit or fender bender. You WanNa get the other person you want to win and you WanNa smash them whatever. We can't really do that in a divorce. You might feel like you want to but one this is your money. There's a part of your money. It belongs to both of you. The more you spend and go out of the pot to the lawyers lawyers in the forensic accountants and the experts the less you have for you and your kids but to and most importantly after the fender bender. You're never gonna see that person again after the divorce. You're going to see the person at the parent teacher conference. You're going to see the person at the birthday party. You gotTA figure out a way Thanksgiving get along with Thanksgiving if you're in my family. Yeah gooden on Wall Street can be expensive. So it's probably not get divorced because of money where they stay together because they are like cheaper to keep her having ever heard Mel. We'd have this great joke white. With what is the Barbie Barbie Barbie Dream House Barbie Dream House. This comes with all the accessories the dream house and the clothing and the wardrobe and the RV and can just come by himself because she took everything or some joke about it. Certainly it does you can have you ever seen doesn't have any Gavin. Do you feel sorta like idea about marriage because because we've seen divorce and we don't want that so it's like why not. I'm not afraid of marriage at all. I'm just afraid of divorce. I think that it wouldn't it. Wouldn't wouldn't be so terrifying. If divorce wasn't incentivized the reality is that divorce has become completely incentivize in Western civilization period. And and and it's just it's financially bizarre that you would reward a failing system and you think that we reward it because she gets half your money doesn't have to be in his case. Well you know. It's bizarre to me that we we would reward failure in almost no other structured we reward failure. So why would you reward failure to paint. I take issue two things one I. I don't necessarily think it's a failure but let's leave that alone who's being rewarded. I'm saying if there's a high earner and they and the relationship doesn't work okay. So here's how maybe maybe change your way of thinking a little bit and I'm not saying I agree with the law but the law is when you get married. The high earner earning money from community the efforts which means it's already half her money in this hypothetical situation. We're not rewarding or she already owns half of it. I'm not saying taking her happen. Leaving the party right okay. Here's a question so I don't know all about the law here you do right yes. I'm just looking at it from this distant distant window. Right of people that I know who've had divorces and it's been very costly K.. People who may be have had been married for five years they had a kid and this sort of the the the X. turns into an absolute terror and greedy greedy and absolutely torments the X. Waving the power having the power of waving the kids in front of them and really weaponising things that shouldn't be weaponized. Greet right so have you seen that totally change that that. And that's what I'm talking about so we're really rewarding people for walking away from the system that was supposed to be helping each other and and you may think I'm wrong saying that but I I've seen I've seen that with people that I knew friends of mine who I felt like they were just getting raked raked over the coals. Right you know. I felt like they got. Maybe someone took advantage of their financial situation. They were he no. They were lonely. Essentially working their ASS OSSOFF and providing essentially living a good life and found someone that wanted to do that with them right and got used for that essentially. Yes I I will say to people that kind of hypothetical that you explain all say you created this monster you took her in. You started providing her with this. In the situation you described -scribed he'd only be paying spousal support for about two and a half years half the length of the marriage. I know it's not nothing. And he's likely not paying much more than what he was is paying for her to have that lifestyle anyway. It's just that yeah it hurts when you're writing a check and it's going away it's different if you're writing a check and it's all happening under your same Dame Ruth Kabo. You don't quite mind so much than if she's in Kabul with your kids and you're paying for it I see more. Do you see more. And more women who are having having to pay spousal support Yes spousal and child and again they come in and they're like what do you mean this guy's been sitting on the couch for fifteen years. I want this albatross off around my neck. I'm the woman I shouldn't you know and I said well the laws gender-blind honey. You're that's how I feel it. Should it should be it is it is and it is much more in California now with regard to custody to have kids. I mean people come in and say well. I'm the mom I should have the kids and I'm like yeah not so much. The kids have a right to have access access. I think equally if possible based on timeshare and careers location with both of their parents. I Love European just listening to Utah. I love your approach to very sensitive and tough topic. Here's the thing saving. Money with. GEICO is almost better than playing pickup basketball. Because there's always that guy who joins your game. He never passes the rock. He constantly bricks threes. And who completely completely hack you. And then put his hands up and say no foul no foul with gyco. It's easy to switch and save on car insurance. No need to fake an ankle spray. Because you're absolutely exhausted. So switch and save with GYCO. It's almost better than sports. Hi I'm Bobby Brown. Welcome to my podcast. PODCAST beyond the duty. A new show from iheartradio. You probably know me is the founder because medics company but I walked away in two thousand sixteen and boy boy have. I learned a lot. I've learned how to build a business how to leave a business how to take chances at a dive in and just try things I'm constantly trying to figure out how to myself healthier and just live a better life but you know what I still have a lot of questions so so. I'm going to be sitting down with different people each week that I think we can all learn from creators of some of the most successful businesses and brands today. Biggest biggest names in beauty doctors and health experts. I admire even my own family. Listen to be on the beauty on the iheartradio APP apple podcasts or ever you get your podcasts. I have to really quick topics before we go one. Is I think we kind of addressed. It is conscious uncoupling much better than unconscious coupling which sometimes happens. Take right after the separate okay. Dive into that dive into the term of conscious. Martin made it famous but I've interviewed the woman who who wrote the book about conscious other than yeah and I think it's actually quite if you really dig into it and read the book. It's basically really what Laura was talking about. How everyone's at Thanksgiving the goal is to make it? You can explain it. I'm sure you have couples that attempt it but it's keeping the relationship good for you and that person and children if they're involved because it shouldn't have to be so ugly basically. It's the marriage didn't fail it worked. And now you're going to move on your changing. How your family functions? You're still a family uh-huh but you're changing the way you approach your familial. It's what you said before. Do you hate your ex more than you. Love your kids. I would hope not right. So there's no reason to not try and make that situation. I think conscious uncoupling is what I try to do now in all relationship if not just marriage because it's like why should it be so ugly when maybe it was beautiful and then like for variety of reasons some beyond my control. It doesn't work out Thanksgiving with all their exploits. I I say this famous but really I mean if you if I if people all the time you're going through this think about something that you really used to love about this person. He was in the delivery room with you holding your hand while you were pushing out those babies there has is to be something that got you into this relationship. Made you fall in love tap into that because the other thing is if you're so consciously hating on your acts when you have kids that same energy you were talking about before Brooks. That's in the house carries through and your kids go so wait. I'm half that guy or Gal and he or she so hates that guy our gal how do they feel about me. Parents should not bring the children into the argument or even have the argument in front of the kids. They feel it. They hear their kids. Turn around go outside. We have someone that works with us. She's twenty four years old and her parents drag her into all their arguments lamb. That's that's not. I can't imagine what it's like. My parents have been married now. We celebrated their forty fifth wedding anniversary this past summer. My wife's parents are divorced. I can't imagine what it would be like as each child to know your parents being divorced or your parents got divorced. When I was young I was like four when they split up? house lasted five kids. But I'll say this times have changed changed in the sense that when I was little I used to think and maybe I've just matured when I was little because of that. My parents did not get along for so many years. It was brutal So when I was little I used to think think that's the worst thing that can happen to to a marriage or two to a couple is the divorce and now that I'm older and I see how it affects kids and all this type of stuff and I lived through it. I think the worst thing that can happen is to have a loveless marriage and fight and stay together but so I don't think divorce is the worst thing anymore but I think to be fighting like that the way I I grew up. It was very difficult. Can we quickly touch on the gray divorce. The grade was also speaking of. We're talking about anybody over saying is your anyone over. Fifty that gets divorced is the great divorce more and more common right. And those are the people that I graduated high school but the great data-voice again. It's either people who have empty nesters. Kids have grown up and left or I think one of the statistics is second marriages have an even higher divorce rate than fifty percent. Like if you've already been through it once you're like creative. Alan Tipper Gore like they were married for fifty years and and they were pretty old and then suddenly they get divorced. And you're like why bother. Why bother why do you ask that question? Because you're saying happiness. The remaining years of their life life doesn't matter I'm bringing it up. I think people are living longer. And so they're they're more willing to get divorced in their sixties than they. I USED TO BE I. I mean I've had people come to me last year. In two thousand eighteen actually had three divorces were the parties were eighty or older. And that's when i Ali like I was like and actually there is. There is there you go over to. Settlement was about who gets to keep the medicine cabinet and there are some laws though it's guy when your spouse married versus dying when you're divorced there's all kinds of tax benefits efforts. I'm like you know so I mean but but yes it is because people are saying I only have this much time left and I really WANNA be happy. I'm not GonNa do this for one more year. I mean it is true when humans only lived into like thirty. It was a lot easier to stay married for your whole life right. My grandma did that that my grandma got divorced and ended up dating a new person actually the first person she ever dated in high school and was amazingly out easingly. The store was happy. He ended up passing but she was so happy during those years of her life question. That's really because I do love those stories too when you realize that somebody from your pass. That's pretty exciting. I've a question now from your observations. Laura is there if you were to give just straight up advice. Do you think there's an age that's too early to get married. ooh Great One I. It's hard to say because it depends on the people I mean I know there's some mature a twenty five year old pulled out there And then there's some super immature forty two year olds out there. So we have old the Laura Gavin Somehow April seventeenth. Nail is exactly. They're usually rockstars. Laura here's a because I I really listening to you. Talk I really respect and Ed Meyer your approach to this topic. You are in it just to like make money in and get people on their way like you actually care about all parties involved. You look at all scenarios and you actually care about people's happiness so I want to commend you for all of that and how you handle yourself personally professionally. It's amazing now that being said because I gave you that Dandy the of a compliment. I get to ask you this question. What is the ugliest divorce you have ever seen? You don't have to name names but what is just ugly to them because there was probably real nice for the what is the one you just have a story this that bought my house This all it's Al Gore's did not represent was on either of the Gore's you know what it is and these are these are the ones. There's there's two to three that like really hit in my head. They all involve child mild custody. The child custody are the sole crushers and in all honesty. I would trade my house if I didn't have to go through those cases because as you do you get very tight with people and you take on a lot of their angst and you see the true evil in people when they are are fighting about their children and again if there is a lot of abuse or somebody wants to move across the country so you can't just do like two days two days three days of shared custody because they're living a few blocks apart and it's those kind of things where you just it is just it takes so much out of you and those are the ugliest. They're by far. I mean there's funny things were you know. Somebody throws a Stiletto heels and actually get stuck in the door or this this person wanted to trade and STD test for a gat which is a Jewish divorce. Like I'm like that's a weird Combo or poisoning of of you know cats so that there's like diarrhea all over the white condominium when they gave Tabesh stuff finding. That's the stuff that I'm like fifty dollars. I was reading that letter. Okay fine the kid ones are the ones that just are so so sad. And that's why do it. The way you said Brooks tried to approach it it in a way that I really wanted to change the way people look at divorce. Try to make it better. And I highly recommend Laura's podcast I've obviously never been married or divorced and I uh-huh addicted to the podcast. I think it's really good relationship. I think amy's podcast is called divorce divorce sex but by the time this airs ears. It's going to be called all's fair like all's Fair in love and war on iheart check us out amy's a bigger fan of divorce than if you could just get divorced you would do. Yeah I actually called Machine Gavin in a good time. Yeah so here. Here's what it is. Go in dirty but you come out clean vegetarian. It is machine. It's like it's like when a products overtakes an entire category so instead of saying search it you say. Why don't you just google it or you're like? Can I have Kleenex. Kleenex is the brand name. Actually Ashley a tissue You know it could be. You could just Wasser get Awa- so here's the thing I think we need to get Wasser. The divorce maybe we can that will change the whole image of data. That could be your leg and just just about what I've been through two awesome so radio. Hey I'm dating this girl. She you know she's Wasser kid but she's great. No dooby as you're you're totally. Thank you for having a cow cow. We're not went to golf instead of water polo love. Mike offer is so great. Gone for eight hours a day. Exactly AH that's why we're so happy. So where can people get in touch with you. Laura so the the the podcast now as we record this call divorce sucks. It's called all's fair where it it anywhere you get your your podcasts. Yes but we're people people besides my wife get in touch with your wife can't get in touch with me on it's over easy dot dot COM We have our instagram. which is that? It's over easy and Laura Wasser official as another instagram and we are also launching a I post divorce. It's called next chapter series for people that have been divorced and they kind of want some tips on how to move forward in their life so all those fun things Valentine's Day so all of you listening there you go. There's a gift to you from our generous producer user. AB sugarman shows. How I feel about Valentine's Day? Oh she's the grinch Valentine's boyfriend but in real that was a real discussion too. I know y'all men rose dinner. That's what we're looking for. That was that was actually really interesting discussion though like because as it is such commonplace I know many people many people and have it in my family people that are divorced and I never. I never looked at it the way you looked at it. I do look at it that I want people to live happy and fulfilled lives. I want that for every single soul but the way you look at the situation with such a sensitivity in a kindness sinus and authenticity and caring for the people involved I just I really commend you. Laura thank you very much. I learned a lot here today. Thank you me too. We want to see the house that that divorce. Though still you thank you very much for coming on. We appreciate you look up. Look up podcast new podcast. And I hope you just love the IHEART team our producers here Tori Yell Amy everybody involved with our our show easterner engineer. Everybody is just amazing. I hope you love the new journey and I'm really happy for you but I hope I'm never on your podcast. Thank you very much guys. Thank you everybody for listen to next week. One another love one another and Lucy right back here for another episode of how men think a love sports and I love my wife. I will destroy you. We haven't even started yet. TYPE OF FAN WHO LOVES TO DEBATE JORDAN VERSUS LEBRON LAMBEAU versus soldier field or even the SANDLOT versus Major League. You will love listening to our podcast. The greatest risk some of our favorite comedians and celebrities to come and constructively argue everything within the world of Sports with my comedian sports fanatic wife Megan gaily and my hilarious writer comedian husband's C.. J. Toll It on no the greatest. I Heart Radio Apple podcasts. Or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Laura Laura Wasser Amy Valentine Laura attorney US California Jimmy Iovine starbucks partner Machine Gavin New York Gavin de Gras Twenty Twenty Jimmy Lavine Brooks
When you can't enjoy life because you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop

The Overwhelmed Brain

1:17:19 hr | 2 years ago

When you can't enjoy life because you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop

"Mother's day. Get her the gift that makes her feel good every time. She opens it gift a story worth subscription to your mom or that someone special in your life for twenty dollars off over its story worth dot com. Forward slash brain life presents the toughest challenges every day. You are faced with decisions that test your ability to express who you really wanna be in this world. We're told to keep saying affirmations and keep thinking, positively. But when are you doing that stuff doesn't work? Welcome to the overwhelmed brain where you'll learn to make decisions that are right for you. So that you can create the life you want now. Hello and welcome to the show. This is Paul Colajanni. And I'm here to help increase your emotional intelligence. So that you can good luck avoid dysfunction handle toxic situations with Grayson these and show up as your authentic, self everything. I talk about on this show is my personal opinion in his meant for information on educational purposes, only, always consult, a medical or psychological professional before making any changes that could affect your physical or mental health. You know, good luck. I just meant it's hard to avoid dysfunction. It's hard to avoid people that come into your life and caused some sort of havoc some sort of mayhem, and I think personal growth. The part of the journey is preparing yourself for those people. Maybe that's all it is. No, it's not I mean itself growth self help working on yourself. Is a way to improve who you are. So you can bring the best most amazing version of who you are into the world. So that you can hopefully meet others that are doing the same thing in reaching each other's lives. But then you meet people that aren't bringing their best version of themselves into the world, and you have to be prepared. It'll have to be, but I think it's a good idea to be prepared for these people that show up in your life. So that when they give their dysfunction when they show their dysfunction. They're toxic ways, or whatever they're doing that makes life a little less pleasant for you. Then, you know, away out of the path of destruction that could happen. I know you know, what I mean, the path of destruction that people can bring I like to call it a vortex of misery like when my stepfather was in my life. He he still does with other people, but he brought a vortex of misery into my life. So that every time I was near him. I felt misery. I felt miserable. I didn't like being near him. And it took many decades of learning and growing and healing and this past decade, especially of getting to the point where if and when he shows up in my life today, I'm prepared. I think it's a really good practice to prepare for these people instead of always trying to avoid them. Now, I'm not against avoiding people. I know that's a easy way out. We can just avoid them and never have to deal with them. It's like you see that person in the department store, and you go I don't really talk to him or her. I just wanna stay over here. And hopefully, they won't see me. And then I wanted to get into this long conversation. And then we will have to talk about that thing. Thing Ican avoid people like that. And it's fine. And if you see each other, okay, we can get into a conversation. But there are some people you really want to avoid because you don't want them in your life anymore. And so that's what I mean is that you can go around voiding, these people and your life would probably be okay. If they never showed up again, but it happens. And if it's not them it someone else someone else shows up in now, they have a dysfunction that is similar to that person's dysfunc- that other person's dysfunction, and you have to deal with it. So I've found it to be easier to improve myself in ways to be prepared for these people that bring dysfunction that bring toxic behavior into my life. So that when I meet someone like them or someone with the similar behavior in the future. I know how to handle it. I can be okay with it. I won't leave with this rotten feeling inside this misery inside. I can leave feeling pretty darn good about how I handled that situation. That's why I do this show. That's why I believe you're listening to shows like this or looking for material or working on yourself in ways to help you prepare. So that when something comes along and knocks you down or makes you feel miserable that you know, how to get through it passed it, and maybe not feel bad at all one day. There's a point where you don't feel what you felt before when certain people and enter your life, and I hear this from clients and people that write to me saying so and so has been in my life for this many years and every time he or she shows up my day goes to hell, or you know, I just have the worst time, and I don't know how to deal. With it. And so that's why I hear often that I just want them to stop doing this. I just want them to change. I just want them to do something different. I just want them to move or one recently. I just want them dead. I heard this. And it was in the Facebook group that I run the overwhelmed brain empowerment group, and hey, that's honest. I just want them dead that's expressing yourself. That's a that's what is probably inside of you. Sometimes you just want somebody. And these are the thoughts that we have when we have no tools or very few tools to deal with people that walk into our life. The at least the toxic people that its function that people can bring into our lives when we don't have those tools, and these people show up we just want them to do something different or disappear. Instead of looking inward and saying, you know, what I need to work on something in myself. So that when I face someone like this in the future. I don't have to have this whole rigmarole around it. I don't have to think too hard. I know what to do because I know my values. I know my boundaries. I'm not afraid to uphold my values or defend my boundaries. I'm not afraid to be myself to be authentic or at least. I'm not afraid to say, he you've crossed the line you need to step back or whatever words come out of your mouth when you get to that point. And you say, hey, the, you know, that's not acceptable in my life. You need to, you know, step back, you're crossing the line. And if that person tries to re cross the line or doesn't listen to you, you need to be firmer more assertive in if that person still doesn't listen to you, and they want to control you and have power over you. Then it is time to avoid them. It is time to leave. It is time to say look if. You can't cooperate in honor. My boundaries are in respect me. Then I can't be around you. So I need to be away from you. That's just how it is. And then you can say that with conviction in knowing yourself well enough and being confident in yourself and being secure in yourself because you are on yourself because you do love yourself. You do care about yourself. You know, you don't want certain people in your life in certain toxic behavior in your life. So you're not afraid to stand up and say sorry, you've crossed the line. And if you don't start respecting me, I'm gonna leave. That's a good feeling when you can do this. And I know there are people right now listening that say I could never do that with that person. And some people you can't I mean, I'm not going to say that this is easy. First of all, it's not. I mean, eventually it gets easier. But it's never easy. It's not like some. Something that just slips out and go, oh, this is just defend myself and everything will be fine. No because you have confrontation, and you have to deal with that confrontation yet the deal at the consequence, and you have to have practice, and you have to have these tools inside of you. And like I said jobs like this help you build those those tools, but that's why it's sometimes very hard to do. And of course, certain people you can't do it with because they just don't care or they don't understand how it feels to be on the other end of their behavior or they're just rotten if they're just rotten. Then there's nothing you can do about it. I mean, really just whatever word you wanna use. I'm going to use the word rotten if you can look at someone and go, you know, what they're just rotten. I just nothing. I can do about this person. He or she has chest rotten. There's nothing I can do that's relieving in a way. If you say, there's absolutely no. Nothing. I can do every time this person shows up. He or she is rotten. Okay. Then you have labeled this person, which is good. You know, label the person, let's do it. I mean labeling is not always good. But in this case, let's just label the person, and that's good. That person's rotten. Then you also defined your limitations. I can do nothing about it anything. I do doesn't work. You know, how relieving that is. Because it relieves you from your challenge of continuing to try to do anything you can just give up trying with this person. You don't have to try to be nicer behind or be more respectful. Get them a bigger gift next year. You don't have to do anything because you can't. And that's what I love that. When you finally get to the point where you can define someone as rotten. You don't have to do anymore. Because there's nothing you can do in that is over leaf great. You can just let it go yet. But this person's still shows up in my life. That's okay. Because they're going to be who they are this nothing. You can do about it nothing. So what do you what's to worry about? Yeah. But they're annoying and frustrating. That's who they are. That's when you can make the choice. This is where you focus and make the choice for yourself on what you want to do with your life. Because once you understand that. There's absolutely nothing you can do to change someone else to change their mind to make them see things differently than all you have to do is focus on yourself. And what's right for you and make decisions that work for you that put you in a place that are honoring your values in boundaries, and beliefs and the life you wanna live because once your focus is on you you just need to make decisions that are for. Are you and solely for you? So if somebody shows up in your life, and they're very toxic. And you don't like them. They're rotten whatever then you can say Hm when that person shows up there's nothing I can do and I'm always unhappy around them. So this is what I'm gonna do. Instead. And it's all about you. This is where you say I'm going to make decisions that are right for me. This is what I need to do next. This is what I'm gonna do when this person shows up, and you may not have a choice. They may show up in you baby stock right there with them in you might have to come up with some other tools, coping mechanisms communication behavior techniques. And you just find another way. Like, for example, what I like to do is. When there is a person that continues to show up that I can't avoid that. Always irritates me. That is frustrating to be around. I like to find out what they need in a what are they? Trying to accomplish are they trying to one up me. So they feel better about themselves. Are they trying to make me feel bad about myself? Are they trying to you know, I just look for what they're trying to accomplish. Like, why would they say that like getting in a political conversation with someone? What are they trying to accomplish? They wanna win this conversation. They want to say their candidate is better than my candidate who they voted for his better than mine. And this is why and I came I gotta get sucked into this conversation again. So I like to figure out what they're trying to accomplish. What would make them? Happy to good question. What would make them happy in? Oh, I've gone through the whole thing where I can't avoid them. And now I have to deal with them. And I'm still kind of miserable about a still frustrated about it. There's nothing I can do I've already decided that what would make them happy. Well, what would make them happy as if I agreed with their comments? Okay. I'll agree because I have no investment. I don't care when you get to the point where you know, you. You can't change someone you get to the point where you can actually say. I don't care. Okay. I'll agreed with them. And see what they say. And all the sudden, they might be nicer to me we. Yeah. But that's not the truth. Now, I'm encroaching on my own principles. I don't want that to happen. So what what do you care if they think that you agree with them or not? I mean. Yeah. It might go to someone else. I see Paul agreed with me. And now, you might be stuck. Yeah. It's a lie. Eight is. I'm just saying this kind of one of those last ditch effort things that might happen that someone's always in your life, like if my stepfather always showed up, and he's always saying things that I don't agree with what would be easier for me in that moment. Probably just to agree just to shut them up. And I have no investment in the agreement. I have no investment in what he's saying. I really don't care and if used as well. There shouldn't be a minimum drinking age are smoking age. You know, if he says something that I don't agree with for example. But I might just go. Hey, you're probably right. You know? I don't know if you've heard me say that before, but that's kind of my go-to with people his saying, you're probably right. I love that phrase because it keeps me out of conversations. I really don't wanna have. Yeah. You're probably right. Even if they say Paul, I can't believe you're wasting your life doing that. I mean, what kind of job is that that's not a corporate job. You should be in corporate. You should be this used to be that. If somebody said that to me, I'd be like, oh, yeah. You're probably right. Because it really do. I want to get in this conversation. I don't care. I don't care. I don't have an investment. So I really appreciate the you're probably right approach when you're dealing with someone who, you know, isn't right. You know is kind of toxic. You know is just going to continue badgering you. It is letting go of your principles of his giving yourself piece in a way that you you're probably not used to. I mean, some people listening probably aren't used to this. You know, that's a lie. I can't lie. No, you're just appeasing. Someone for now to make your life easier. Don't make an a habit though, because some people go all their lives, appeasing, others that's people pleasing not honoring yourself and always letting others step all over you. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about. Okay. I've tried everything with this person. I can't avoid him or her. And what else can I do. I'm just going to agree with them. So they go away. So you come up with these mechanisms these techniques while you're listening, and you ask yourself what did what do they want? What did they want from me, and what would make them happy? And when you start learning how they operate you start pulling strings, I know that sounds unethical. I know that doesn't sound right. But again, put it in context this person you can't avoid their toxic. You've you've tried everything. And you finally just given up. Now, it's time to get some of your power back, and you might have to pull some strings, but not an evil way. Just in a way that doesn't make them. So frustrating for you doesn't make them so irritating. It gives you a sense of control in. What was once an uncontrollable situation? So when you say, yeah, you're probably right. I should probably go back to corporate. I should get married to that person. Yeah. You probably I. Should have kids or it shouldn't have kids. Who cares? What they're saying have no attachment to what these people save. You have no emotional attachment. If you know get sucked in a motion Louis and you choose to let go of your attachment to being right? And you just realize that this is a moment in time that is completely meaningless with this person. So I'm just going to get through in any way. I can just to have some peace that could be one of the ways you do it just a ninety. We'll be right back. And I have an Email read. It's about always waiting for the other shoe to drop its at a little bit a shift in the topic today. But when you get into a situation when you're with someone, and you really can't enjoy the present moment because you're always waiting for something else to happen. It's like I can't fully be happy because they could do something to make me unhappy. If you're always in that state, the next segment may help you by using some techniques that we can talk about and hopefully get you into a better place. So you can at least enjoy some happiness in your life some fulfillment. Which is a good goal to have. I think we'll be right back. Mother's day is here again. And if you get my newsletter than you already know, my mom is going to have one heck of a story to share after her move. You didn't get the newsletter. The short of it is she was given thirty days to leave the place. She's called home for the last eight years. She is struggling, but when it's all said and done she like, I said, we'll have one heck of a story. And this is why think story worth is one of those companies that really gets the importance of preserving memories with the gift of story worth to your mom or anyone you terrace in your life. You give them the opportunity to revisit their finest memories of the past and immortalize them in the beautiful hardcover. Book story worth sends weekly Email prompts in questions about their live and all the recipient has to do is reply as if he or she were talking to a friend. The replies are private and will only be shared with the family. You choose the coolest part about this is that after one. On year of weekly replies. To these emails and weekly nostalgia all of their replies. Are bound into a book if the best gift I can think of because as we get older, even if our memories are still sharp as attack it can still be difficult to convey life's events in a way that really brings out the true essence of each story with a beautiful hardcover book on the coffee table or nightstand. You your mom or any of your family and friends can mean live a loved one's history through the storytellers own words. It is always a conversation starter. And it's a great way to connect stay in touch and help bridge the geographic gap that so many of us experience. It's also a great way to learn about someone and what made them who they are today. I'm looking forward to reading miam- girlfriend's mom's story, we gifted her a subscription last year for mother's day. And she is just about done. Not only was a great gift throughout the year for her. She love. It, but it will be another mother's day gift all over again. Because when her book arrives can all gather around and read her stories and look at all, the pictures, she's uploaded and know that no matter what will always have this book as something. We can open up whenever we feel the need to connect. My mom is still creating her stories, and you can Ben I'm going to be gifting her subscription this year because her past helps me understand her more today and even understand myself. I wanna preserve her in my mind and heart in every way possible, I want you to be able to do that with your mom or anyone in your life that you love and want give gift that will fulfill their lives in help them. Relive the good times and reconnect with family in a unique way. You can get twenty dollars off your subscription by visiting story worth dot com forward slash brain. You know, my mom has a lot of stories, and I wanna read every single one of them. This is probably one of the most unique gifts. You can give to anyone story worth dot com. Forward slash brain. For twenty dollars off your subscription today. All right. Welcome back. Like, I said, I have an Email to read to you. It's from someone. I'm gonna Call Laura Laura says, hi, I'm emailing because I grew up with an abusive alcoholic father. I haven't lived in the house with him since I was maybe ten but since then I've only witnessed miserable. Marriages my aunts and uncles, my grandparents now engaged, and I'm constantly afraid of the marriages that I've witnessed I'm constantly unhappy because I'm terrified and looking for patterns and trying to figure out if my marriage will work I'm scared of committing because what if I end up like everyone else, and I'm stuck. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop can you provide some insight on this? Okay, lor. That's a powerful Email that is very hard to live with this PTSD of thinking about how marriage is awful and the only marriage marriage is you've ever witnessed have been miserable for these people. And when you carry that. Around with you. Yeah. It can be difficult to get past it one of the things I have a whole bullet list of items here a talk with you about. But one of the first things that comes to my mind is that when we look at someone's marriage, and it was awful, and then we see someone else's marriage. And it was awful waiting to take the word marriage out of the equation. Just put that aside. It's doesn't even doesn't even have to be included in this. Because what we're looking at is a relationship where two people got together and decided to continue driving each other crazy. I mean a lot of cases instead of either getting marital therapy couples therapy working with each other taking responsibility. There's a lot of things that you can do in a relationship to try to mend in heal. The relationship there's a lot of communication that can take place in a relationship to make it at least. More tolerable more manageable for it to get better. And better and better. But then there are some relationships that just simply won't work, and like I said taking marriage out of the equation. We have two people that are making a decision to stay together. Whether it works or not, you know for better for worse for richer for poorer we get stuck on. All these marital vows, which you know, they're good. I'm not saying they're bad. They're really good. These people that take these marital vows because there's intention those good intention behind it. And when you get stuck on the vows and stop looking at what's happening today. And look at the big picture vows. Well, this is how it is. How it's going to be this is what we do. We get stock on the big picture in the big context. And we say, well, I made a promise in this is how it's going to be. I'm stuck this is why I'm asking you just for fun just for imagination here. Take the marriage out. Out of the equation. Don't look at it. As all marriages are bad or the marriages that I've witnessed are toxic. Look at it. As those relationships didn't work because those two people decided to continue living with each other continue being with each other in a way that wasn't conducive to a healthy happy relationship. Those two people that doesn't define marriage that defines those two people, and when those two people cannot figure it out or cannot work with each other. Or you got one that's stubborn and one that wants to try or they both want to try, and they continue to whatever fail miserably when that is happening with those two people that's their issue. And they are you know, they might choose to continue being with each other and continue being miserable or maybe ones miserable. The other one's fine. You know, this is the way it is. In a relationship. I think you should both work at trying to work together and be happy and work things out. Yes. Absolutely. And marriage can help define you know, give the guidelines of what you're trying to do. But I think a lot of us used marriage as oh now, I'm stuck. And it does feel that way because marriage is that legal contract that oh once we're in it. Now, we have to sign a bunch more papers and lose a bunch of money or time or energy getting out of it. It is definitely more of a commitment in other ways. But when we stripped the marriage part out and all the legal documents. But we have is relationship between two people and today at least in the US. It's pretty easy to get divorced. Even though it's costly not just money, your heart, your kids hearts, your time and energy. And of course, the money the everything kind of adds up, you know, because you get assets together, you get a house together. There's a lot of things that can add up, and it can feel like your stock. But you're really not. I mean, I don't know how many people I know that have been married and divorced. You're really not stock. You just don't like the idea probably of get. Out of that type of relationship because of what you'll lose. Now, I'm not trying to condone divorce here, I'm not trying to condone anything like that. I'm trying to put things in perspective to where you see this as a relationship, and what you have is a relationship, and what you've witnessed is overlay ship between two people and those relationships didn't work, but I guarantee you there are people in your life that you can look at that are working married or not there are people in the world when you're out and about your at lunch, you see up EC another couple in their laughing, and they're talking, and they could know each other for a couple of months or twenty years, and you don't know, but you can see they get along you can see references that relationships can work, but you are attaching marriage to it I'll make another guarantee I guarantee you that even if they didn't get married they'd probably still have the same issues there. Might be a different way the approach it, and they might feel a little bit more free to leave because they don't have those commitments because they tile these commitments to marriage, which I understand, but you're going to have the scene to people with the same issues in the same situation doing the same thing marriage or not is my opinion, of course. But this is how I see it. And this is why it drove me crazy when I was in my twenties or thirties when my friend said, oh, never get married. Never get married. It's awful. It's going to be miserable. You're going to be stuck. I couldn't stand hearing that stuff. And then I did get married, but I ruined my marriage. I had a lot of personal growth to go through. You have to bring the best version of yourself. And hopefully, they're bringing the best version of themselves into the relationship. So that when you do run into trouble, you can work through it. You can talk about it. You can get through it. So that's not really my answer for you. I'm just kind of laying that out that when you have a marriage don't put the word marriage in there. Don't put the word committed forever. You know, you take these things out not that. You don't want them. Not that the I dunno shouldn't be there should be. You know, take that stuff out. He just look at it as how can we relate better how we get along better. Because the way I look at marriage is marriage amplifies everything that's going on today. You're in a relationship either, you're engaged or. Not when you have a plan on being married, if there's any type of emotional trigger or negatively that's going on your relationship today. Marriage usually amplifies it in the same thing with oh, this is a great relationship. Everything is wonderful marriage usually empathize that too. It. Just depends on what you let amplify and what you let continue as you go into the marriage because if you don't address the problem areas, they get bigger. So I'm looking at all the relationships that you've seen all the family that you've had that have gotten married and see that they probably did not tackle the problem areas. They probably just brought them into the marriage hoping they would go away on their own or getting married would solve the problem. I think everyone listening who's ever gotten married knows that marriage doesn't solve most problems marriage usually amplifies problems. Oh, you have a problem with me? Listening to my music really loud at two AM when we get married. I'm gonna see that as a free past listen anytime, I want I sit the minor probably silly example. But that's what can happen. It's like the other person gets comfortable not so concerned sometimes about being a problem for another person. Because it wasn't a problem before we were married. So why would it be a problem now? Oh, you want to change me? You're going to hear this stuff. You want to change me now while you accept it before we were married while I tolerated it well now, we're married. So you're stuck with me. No, you're going to hear this. So this is why you work on the problems. And if you haven't worked the problems out, maybe need to delay the marriage, we need to get through this. We need to talk about it. We need to therapy. We need to get through this because I don't want it to be emotional trigger. Like, you can have someone that hate smoking in their fiancee smokes. And you're thinking well. Well, he or she only smokes every now, and then I can deal with it now. And then you get married, and they're like, you know, I decided to smoke five or six packs a day feels good taste good. And I'm all about it. Now what you didn't address. It you either come to an acceptance of it saying, I don't care if they smoke or you talk about say, hey, look, I don't want to live with a smoker. Yeah. But only a smoke a few a day yet. But it does bother me. Oh it bothers you. Oh, okay. Well, let's talk about that. You know, hopefully, you have somebody that will talk like that. But okay now, we're addressing it in. Maybe it won't be a problem. Maybe it will. But you got to look at it in terms of if it's a problem today after we're married. It will be a bigger problem. That doesn't always happen. This isn't a one hundred percent truthful all the time. But if you look at it that way, then you know, what to address today. So that's my first response to you, Laura is that you look at what you need to address today. And you take care of that before the marriage. I mean, this emails little old Zoe might be married by now. But even if you are married today. What problems are you dealing with today? Let's talk about them because hopefully, you married someone that will listen, and be receptive and take responsibility. And when you say, you know, a Potter's me when you do this. They'll say, oh, I didn't realize it bothered you. Let's talk about that great. That's healthy communication married or not in when you're in a relationship and somebody wants to relate. That's a good thing. So that I part Lor is important. You know, you want to find out what are the bothersome things in your relationship now? And you also want to look at these other relationships these other marriages that you've seen fail and don't put the label marriage on those things put a longer label of two people that just couldn't figure out how to get along, but they stayed together. Anyway, that's what's going on there. They. Made the decision to continue being together. And when you take the word marriage out than at least, you can look at it that way because marriage is as you define it before you get married. That's another way. I look at marriage is that you define your marriage. The way you are today before you're married. So if you're getting long great, and it only gets better over time not worse, or maybe it evens out balances itself and everything's really good. Then marriage is usually the amplifier marriages, the, hey, let's continue doing this. But let's tie all our assets together and fill out the tax forms jointly. You know, we'll do everything we can to be connected in every way to show our full commitment. Absolutely. You know here here. That's great as long as you are creating what you want in a marriage today before you're ever married and never think that marriage is going to solve the problem. It only amplifies. What's already good? What's already bad just amplifies those? So again, my opinion doesn't mean it's going to happen all the time. But it's a good philosophy to go by before you get married. So several things I want you to do Laura or anyone that might be in the situation where the not sure if they should commit to this. They're not sure if they should allow themselves to be fully happy because what if the other shoe drops what if that person leaves? It leaves me or yells at me or divorces me or fires me, whatever it is in your life. Where you feel like you can't get on board and be fully committed and fully happy and just really experience. What it is today? What do you do? So I got a few tips that might help you one is if you find yourself worrying about something all the time. Then tell yourself, you know, what I'm only gonna worry about this once a day or several times a day. But you get you're going to set up a time to do it or times. In other words, you say okay at three PM, I'm gonna worry about it for ten minutes. I know this little weird. But what you're doing is giving yourself permission to worry. You're not denying it. You're not invalidating yourself. You're not saying, I don't wanna worry. I don't wanna worry all the time. You're just actually allowing it to happen. You're allowing whatever's in there to come out. And so I really liked the idea of saying, you know, I got all day up until three pm to enjoy the day. And that three PM I'm going to worry, you may or may not be able to do this. But at least you start setting up these times to say, I get to worry or be concerned or complain or moan or mope whatever I get to do. All of it at three PM or four PM or whatever time you want and you set that up. So that you don't deny yourself. What's going on inside of you? You don't resist it because resistance leads to amplifying what's going on inside of your ready. It leads to persistence, whatever, you resist continues to persist, and you don't want to to happen. So you might as well just allow it. All right. I'm going to allow the worrying I'm going to allow the, but you might say, yeah. But I don't like being worried. Well, if you can't stop it. Let's work with it. Let's continue working with it. So that we can find a way through it. So this is just one little thing. You know, you set yourself a time saying I'm gonna worry at this time kinda strange. But at least me you'll get some free time. Like, I'm not gonna worry I'm gonna enjoy this moment with this person. Because we're in the moment, I'll worry about it later. But we're in the moment. It sounds one little thing may or may not work. Like, I said number. Two is practicing presence. I mean, we've here we hear this all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Practice presence. But I like to use some sort of visualization for me, the visualization might be a little morbid, but I like to imagine that the world is going to end tomorrow. Like it's going to end. That's it. Suddenly all the problems that I was thinking about aren't there anymore? My going to be able to pay that Bill next week while doesn't matter the world's going to end tomorrow. Wow. That bill's gone. Well, how does that feel as a field to be devoid of that Bill? That's great longing to have to deal with this person. Tomorrow. Wait, the world's going to end tomorrow that person no longer exists in this scenario that I created this fantasy. But you know, if it were real then mall now a Murray because if the world ends what's that mean for me, who cares you're going to be gone? I'm going to far with this. But the idea is if you want to be present you can do some of visualization like I just did like that little world gonna end thing. But I also like to practice going out into nature. I love nature, maybe you do to Eckhart totally he teaches all about, you know, being in the present moment, and you talked about noticing every little nuance of a flower every little leaf every little vein in the leaf every different color every different Hugh and having a flower because it's so organic because it changes so subtly and every day, you can notice something a little different it really brings you into the present moment. I like that. I like to use the thought that I just landed here from an alien planet like I just landed on earth, and I've never seen trees never seen people. But I don't really focus on people. But I've never seen trees never seen grass. I've never seen the color green. And I look around and I sit in wonder. I'm fascinated. And I'm quiet. And I look and I smell and I hear. I wonder. And I'm curious. When you're in this space. You can be really present. And then thoughts come oh. No tomorrow. Oh, wait, the world's going to end tomorrow. Okay. And then another thought will come in, and it will go because you're still looking at this tree. What is this thing? Why has the texture so rough what is going on in the ground? There's all of these tendrils coming out from the tree and going into the GRA. What is this thing? How does it work is it alive? This is one of the many things you can do to be present. I like to do things that actually force me to pay attention in the present moment, for example. I bought a used table saw. And the very first time I used it. I was not practicing presence. I was sort of practicing, but what had happened. I'd never used table saw until up to a few weeks ago. And I have used power tools, all my life. So I figured table saw. This should be easy. I just sliced a piece of wood like no problem. And when I was done the piece that got caught on the right? Caught the Belaid. I'll if you ever seen a table saw. But the blade is always turning toward you. It's in a table it sticks out of the table, and you push would over and it cuts him in half. Well, this piece on the right caught the blade, and it's called a kickback, and it whipped this piece of wood at me like a thousand miles per hour. I don't know how fast, but it hit me so hard. I don't even want to tell you. It was so close to my crotch. It was right there. It was so close I was alone. My girlfriend wasn't home, and I fell on the ground. And I was literally screaming I I will. I I don't even want to say. But I was grieving, and I think I was drooling is just it hurt hurt so much, and I wasn't sure. What just I wasn't sure if I ripped apart my skin ripped apart. My insides it just barreled that piece of wood flew at me so fast. I couldn't react. And it was the very first time I used it. And I was in pain. And so it took a few hours to really settle down the Bruce came, and then a few weeks later, I had this, and I still have this giant bump underneath and this bump it feels like a Welt like if you you got. Whipped. And what was left behind as a Welt? And I felt that. And I was like oh my God. What do they do? And I read all the symptoms of internal bleeding, and I went I wanted to make sure that wasn't, you know, experiencing anything awful inside my lower abdomen. I think just like tore some muscle in there or something. So the fibers are rebuilding. But that was shocking. And I read online at my table side do is at broken. And I just learned that you know, you gotta be careful you gotta respect the tool, and you're going to learn to use it. Right. And so I learned how to use it. And I've been using it ever since it hasn't happened again. But I tell you what ever since that moment. I am. So I'm so present I am so present with that tool that I can't tell you. I I will never think of anything else while I'm using that tool, and I think the term respect really helped me focus like I'm respecting the tool. I'm respecting what it is capable of doing both good and bad. And since then I've not had a problem. I've been very aware very present. And that's just you know, one of many stories, I could tell about, you know, present moment stuff. But since then like I said that event forces me to pay attention, and hopefully, you don't learn the way I did. But you know. Rolling a wheelbarrow full of stuff around the house. It kind of forces you to pay attention because if you have those one wheeled wheelbarrows it could tip over it. Could you need to push up hill you need to do a bunch of things with it? So you really paying attention to what this thing is doing playing a musical instrument trying to practice something new really forces you to pay attention. So find something in your life to help you pay attention because this will help you be in the present moment. All right. That was number two number three is don't be afraid to have those hard to have conversations. What I mean by that is if there is something on your mind, for example, or the wrote person who wrote the Email, Laura you bring it up in you, say, what's on your mind. You know, I've had all these marriages in my family fail and they've been awful. And my dad did this to my mom, and I just picture getting married. The worst thing imaginable. So I'm really afraid you actually say these words you bring them out you bring them to the forefront. So they're on the table to discuss. So that you can have a real conversation with the person that you're going to be spending your time with because you want to know that you can bring this stuff up, and they're going to help you throw it, or at least be a good listener and not freak out and go. Well, that's how you feel audit here because if they freak out now amplifies in the marriage, it amplifies when you get married, and you got to be careful with this stuff, you need to find out how they respond or are they going to be? Supportive like, wow, you really feel that. Well, let's talk about that. You know? Of course, I'm not going to be trae you, of course, I'm not gonna give you any reason not to trust me. But you know, if you feel that way, let's you know, where did this come from? What's talk about this? I would love to have people right to me and say, hey, you know, what I brought up the hard stuff and my husband or my wife or my girlfriend boyfriend actually listened, and they were so supportive, and I've never been this vulnerable with anyone and I never felt like I could. But I finally chose to be vulnerable with them, and they were so nice and kind and supportive, and I'm just so grateful that I did it, and I'm a much better place now because they support a move. We talked about it. And they might even say, you know, I'm still not over yet. But at least I can talk freely about it when you can't talk about it with someone close to you, you build up these feelings inside of you build up this. Resisting feeling like, I don't think I can talk about it with anyone. So I'm just gonna hold back. And when you hold back that make you feel. L worse. This is like my last episode on purging, emotions if you hold back, you hold it in you, take it with you. And if you take all those feelings with you into the future, then it comes out in other ways in it never gets released, and it's just not fond. It's not a good way to continue going. So you you just bring it up. Even if you don't have a solution. You know, what I have this terrible view of marriage. And I just don't think I can get rid of it. But I just wanted to share with you. Okay. Great. Even the idea of sharing it can be somewhat relieving, even if you know, you can't do anything about it. So yes, have those hard to have conversations. Let me give you an example of a way you can have a hard conversation. You can start off by saying I wanna talk to you about something because I can't get out of my mind. I'm afraid to talk to you about it. Because I don't want you to get worried or upset or think that I am freaking out or anything. But I have. To talk to you because I want to be completely transparent with you. Can you prime them you want to let them know that you're frayed to talk about this. And you're also worried about how they're going to gonna feel about it. Then you continue by saying, what's on your mind. You know, every time I feel good in my life, something bad happens. So if you see that I can't be fully present with you. Please know that it's not a matter of how you show up. It's a matter of what always happens to me. So I walk around weary and fearful I'm just afraid in that could be very vulnerable space for you to be in. But this really helps you find out who the other person is before you go any further with them. How are they gonna show up for you? Then are they gonna say, wow. Thank you so much for sharing you have to carry that with you. I'm so sorry, you had to carry that with you. If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you. I don't know what I don't know. How to help you him? I wanna let you know. I'm here for you. You know, you get an. Idea of how they're gonna respond, hopefully, they respond in a supportive way. But you find out no matter what by sharing it now instead of holding onto it far the next one number four if you're always thinking that something bad's going to happen. So you don't want to be too happy. You don't want to commit to much this good feeling. Then what you might want to do is start putting things on your schedule that you look forward to for example. I used to have a job where I hated going in on Monday think oh, I know I just had a size of empathy all over the place now, but I hated going in on Monday. And because of that I couldn't enjoy my weekends. I couldn't do it. I felt like on Saturday. I can almost enjoy it. But I knew Sunday was coming in Sunday was the day that I feel bad or at least not as happy as I wanna feel because I knew Monday was coming. So my future alw-. Always had some miserable of bent that was taking place, and I could never enjoy the present. And so this was a substantiate over and over again, I could tell you that no matter how present I could be today. I knew Monday was coming. So it was very hard to be present today. I could do the visualization. Like, okay, the world's going to end tomorrow that would help. I don't think I had these tools back then, but that would help then Sunday came and now I have to deal with again. Okay. Well, I'll do visualization again a lot of practice a lot of practice than most of the time it worked. But like I said, I didn't have too many tools back then. So I'm better now. But. What can you do if you don't have these tools? And so I realized well if I keep dreading Mondays maybe I need to make Monday, less dreadful. Maybe I need to make it less miserable. And so that's what I did. And the way I did. It was get another job do something. I actually liked doing. And who cares about the money? I just wanted to enjoy Mondays again. And so I think yeah, I took a pay cut and got a job that I actually liked until I didn't like that job. And then I did the same thing, but the change worked, and so that was a future event that I can look forward to and you know, maybe I didn't ever want to go to work, and who cares? But at least if I'm gonna go I wanted to enjoy what I was doing. But that's not what I mean. I don't mean to change your whole life. I mean, maybe you could create game night once a week our date night, or you know, ping pong night gardening on Thursday nights. Or you know, whatever it is for you. You you. You put something in your future to always look forward to a meet up with friends gathering of some sort where you go to a comedy club, or whatever he start putting these things in your future. So that your future has some positive events that are coming at you. Instead of always something that you're afraid of or making up that something bad is going to happen. So you can never enjoy the present. If you're always looking forward to something it can help. So that's what I mean. Is you put something in your schedule that you look forward to and make your future positive for me? I like to take the bigger steps. I don't like going to work on Monday because I don't like that job. I'll just get another job. It's not that easy for everyone. I know. But sometimes, you know, you look at things and you go while I don't wanna make less money. Sometimes you are willing to make sacrifices if it's less money, if it's a working with different people working in a different city. It's a longer commute. Sometimes you look at these sacrifices and go. Wow. But the job is great or the work. I'm doing is meaningful. And I would enjoy this much better. And you do it in suddenly it's not about what it used to be about, suddenly, you're actually enjoying it so much that you're investing more time into it more energy into it. And you feel good while you're there, and you feel good after you leave that can be very rewarding. I know not everyone has access to that. But that can be very rewarding. And sometimes it does involve the. This paradigm shift of well, maybe I don't need to make this much money or well, maybe it will be okay. Working weekends this job because the job is so great. I mean, you gotta look at things a little differently. Sometimes I know this is all about work, but the idea is to put something in your future. So you feel better about it. As it comes. We're going to go to break, and we'll be right back. I have a few more to share with you. And then we'll finish the shore. All right. Welcome back. If you're always in that space, where you think the shoe's going to drop, you know, that's an expression if you're not familiar with it. I just means that it's hard to commit to something and be happy and fulfilled about it. Because you think something bad is going to happen or something's going to change. So why commit why before we present with it? Why you know, go all in? So that's what that means. So another thing you can do if you're always in this state of mind is and this is kind of a deep one but figure out your criteria. In other words, let's just say that I started working for you. You know, you hired me as an assistant. But you didn't know I was personality on the area to know. I was a coach had no idea who I was. And you had no idea if I was going to perform well, or rob you blind. You know, you just don't know who I am just a stranger. How long would I have to work for you until you find? Trusted me to be a good employee. But you never had to worry about, you know, think about that type of questioning for yourself. This will help you create your criteria. How long do I have to work for you? How many days do I have to show up on time? So you believe that I'm gonna show up on time all the time, or at least most of the time, or how many things do you need to assign to me where I complex all of them will until you no longer have to wonder if I'll do a good job or the big question is what do I have to do in order for you to feel comfortable with me working there? And I know this is just like an employee situation. But if he figure that out you'll build criteria of what makes a model employee, and you say, okay, if the person shows up on time every day check, you know, that's a model. That's a sign of a model employee person doesn't bring all the drama and have petty grievances with his or her coworkers check you have all these criteria. You go through the sector. Cise either on paper or in your head, and it's good to know. It's good to figure this out because this kind of thinking whether it's hiring someone or being in a relationship with someone defines your criteria. So when you know your criteria for any situation that you're in you know, what to evaluate it against for example, for the person Laura who wrote the Email you've seen so many bad relationships. So it's important for you to define what has to happen for you to feel like you won't be in a bad relationship or get burned. And how many times does whatever needs to happen have to happen? You start creating the criteria for your relationship. How many times do you have to hear them be respectful of you until you realize, hey, they're going to be respectful of me all the time. How many times did I have to happen? If you say, well, it has to happen every time while that. That's fine. But if it does happen. Can you be okay with it? Or are you always looking for the next time? They're going to disrespect you, for example, my girlfriend said when we first met that she couldn't trust, man. She couldn't trust men in general. And a so many of the things I did I would expect her to just trust me. You know, MIT even say trust me, I'm going to take care of it. And she couldn't in who was kind of offensive. But I knew that this is her way which he needed and it took me over a year year and a half. Maybe two years before she got into a space of. Okay, I see that you're showing up now as a trustworthy person, everything that you say you're gonna do you do. So that makes me feel good. And now I can start trusting you weren't those exact words, but pretty close it took her a long time. And so this might be a question for you. How long does it take? For you to feel comfortable that someone's going to show up the same way in a good way until you're there until you are completely comfortable with how they're showing up until you can be happy that that's how they're gonna show up from this point on then you come up with some criteria. If it's five years for you. It might be five years. What if it's six months? I don't know. But you come up with something. So you have a guideline, and then when that guideline is met you can go. Wow. They've shown up this way every time for two years. And now, I can let go of my old fear that they won't show up that way, it may still exist in small ways, but all of these have a compound effect of working toward fulfillment working toward happiness. So you figure out where in the relationship that you are having trouble trusting or believing in and ask yourself. Well, what needs to happen? In order for me to trust. What needs to happen in order in order for me to believe that this is gonna work out? What needs to happen is a great question, and you can apply it in many ways in any situation. All right. We have a few more. Another one is start reprogramming your inner dialogue by reasoning with yourself, like a harsh sarcastic friend. This is an unusual one kind of made this up a a long time ago. But we'll see where those goes. I mean, I do have episodes on helping you with inter dialogue because I'm sure you're dealing with that, you know, that self talk so listen to those but also start giving yourself crap forgiving yourself crap. Okay. I'll explain this. In other words, if you ask yourself, well, what if he decides to leave in a month? What then what did I fully commit if he's going to leave? You might have thought like that going through your head that inner dialogue. I want you to follow it up with. Why are you talking like that has he given you any indication that he's gonna leave? Do you really think he's investing all this time into you just to prepare to leave? Does he really prefer wasting time with people he doesn't care about? It's that harsh sarcastic tone that you use on yourself to kind of help you see this dupay to the of your thoughts. I know that feels. Like, you're calling yourself stupid at this not the point. And maybe this won't work for you. Maybe this is a little too harsh for you. When I do this stuff. This is what I do when some thought comes into my mind like what if she calls her old boyfriend what if they start thinking about getting back together? What if he expresses his undying love for her? I might have this harsh sarcastic tone, come in from another part of my brain or wherever and say, what are you talking about? Do you really think she'd buy a house with you? If she wanted to get with her old boyfriend, are you that stupid? So yes, I might call myself stupid. I'm going to use that sarcastic tone and make myself. See the stupidity of my thoughts. This may not work for you. Like, I said, this is one of those things you try it on see if it works if the sarcastic harsh thing doesn't work. Maybe you want to do the loving thing. Like, why would you think that he's such a sweet man, he's such a sweet person? He would never do anything to hurt. You can do that some people like that positive thinking that optimism it works for them. I'm not holding that against you. If that works for you doesn't work for me. It doesn't work for me. You know, it could help, but it doesn't really work. So he find some sort of counter self-talk that helps you get through it and helps you get past whatever thoughts it you're having that you don't wanna have. I personally don't want to have thoughts of my girlfriend reaching out to her ex boyfriend and trying to get back together. Don't want to have those thoughts. They'll come. Into my mind. So I'm not obsessing or anything like that. But if they did I would want to give myself some crap. Sorry by does the only word I can think of and I said, what are you talking about? Are. You that dumb makes me laugh. I guess all right next. One is listen to my episodes on building self confidence and becoming more secure, especially the episodes on jealousy. Because I it's all about insecurity. Even if you're not jealous. I want you to get familiar with what it takes to stop being jealous, and that is working in that feeling of security in yourself and listen to my episodes on self worth and self esteem. So look for those at the overwhelmed, brain dot com. You can look up jealous. Jealousy. Self worth self esteem all on the little search bar at the top. Right. All right to left. One of them is learning to make decisions and sticking with them. No matter what. And I want you to listen to my episodes on decis. In making. When you want to be a good decision maker. You do have to just make decisions whether they work out or not that's really the basic premise behind my decision making up towards is that in order to get better at decision making you have to make decisions, and that means that you might be wrong, and you just have to deal with being wrong. And you know, some people don't like that. I don't want to be wrong. I wanna make the right decisions. And if you're a surgeon, that's a different story. You know, you're dealing with brain surgery. But in most cases, I'm gonna go see this movie. I might be wrong on my hate it. But you know, what I've committed to it a making the decision a moving forward with it. That's final doesn't mean. You can't change your mind. You could get to the movie and suddenly you realize oh that person's in it. I don't like his acting. I'm not going to go. You could absolutely do that. But you made the decision up to that point. And you can also change your mind, but you just have to be clear and comfortable with both. A making this decision. I'm sticking with it. And as you get better at making decisions, you won't be. So stuck on believing that you can't make good decisions. So you'll start trusting yourself more in the more. You trust yourself. The more you end up trusting the situations that you put yourself in. Also, the more confidence that you'll have if and when a situation goes bad. So that when you fall you can make the right decisions to get out of a bad situation in this comes right back to you, Laura. You think that these marriages that you've witnessed these people were making decisions to stay with each other? And those decisions may not have been good. Maybe they weren't good decision makers. Or maybe they were they just wanted to be miserable with each other or whatever. But as you get better at decision making when you fail when you fall when you are a complete failure in something you can make the next decision. Then you're almost never stuck. I mean. You may not like making the decision. You may not like the consequences of your decision. But you're almost never stock. You know in a relationship you can still make decisions even if you're married because you might have to make a decision when someone else starts changing in ways that aren't healthy or starts doing things that aren't healthy or disrespecting your hurting you you might have to look past the vows. You might have to look pass the promises and see that these promises are being broken. It's no longer about the vows is no longer about the commitment. No matter what for richer for poorer for better for worse. So longer about that. Because once they've broken the marriage contract by not showing up the way they're supposed to show up then you can make the next decision. You might have to. I'm not saying this will happen to you will not trying to plant that in your head. I'm saying that you're never stock. You don't have to be stock. You can make decisions they might be unpopular decision. They might be against you know, I've heard from women are making the decision to divorce was against her culture, and she would be shunned by families shamed. And when that happens. Yes, that's a decision that has a lot of consequences. But is this for your happiness is this for your life? Or are you out to please everyone else? You know, you wanna do both? That would be great. If everyone was happy, and I'm happy grape doesn't always work that way. And if you're in this culture that shuns your shames, you or religion that shunned your shames you for making your decisions, then you will have a tougher. You will have the most difficult time and those who really love and support you will still love and support you. That's really what it falls down to. I've heard from people that made bad decisions married the wrong person and their family disowned them. And then later on they finally came around and said, well, we wanna see our grandchildren. We wanna see you. I mean. It can happen doesn't always happen. But it can happen. So these are the decisions that we make that. Yes. Some ten people aren't going to agree. And I'm not saying that if this is easy. I'm not saying that you should just make any decision that you want. There are always consequences to every decision that you make. But to say that you're stuck just because you're married in most cases that simply isn't true. You just don't like the consequences of the decisions that you might want to make because there's loss there's always some sort of loss and coming to terms with loss and attachment to things and people and other people's feelings or opinions coming to terms with that and even coming to a place of letting that go in following the path that you know, is right for you might be what you need to do again. Some of this is skirting the of violating people's values and religious beliefs. Sinn culture belief. I know it is. And I don't mean to do that. I'm just helping you expand some thought processes that might be going on inside of you. And if it helps expand maybe it'll transform your thoughts into something else. So that you don't feel stock. So that you realize that you can do perhaps something else. And so when we come back, I'm going to close the show and go into the very last one again based on decisions and how what motivates you to make the decision is going to lead to the outcome. You either want or don't want thanks for tuning its day. We're going to be right back say some closing words, and like a buys right after this. Thank you for listening to another episode of the overwhelmed brain, I wanna remind you to go to story worth dot com for its lash brain get twenty dollars off your subscription. I want you to gift at the someone you love, you know, mother's day is right around the corner, your mom is not here anymore. Maybe someone else's mom or someone else. You love can use this gift as a wonderful gift story worth dot com for its lash brain and the supporters of this show, patron the overwhelmed, brain dot com. Thank you patron members. I appreciate you. I know Carol just joined and Seth thank you so much for your support. I am grateful for you. If you wanna support the show, go to patron dot the overwhelmed, brain dot com. We talked about some difficult relationships today. I want to remember that. I do have another podcast called love and abuse. You can find it in your favorite podcast player or you can go to the website, love and abuse dot com. And listen to it there. It is the official podcast for the mean workbook on difficult relationships. And if you have what might be considered the complex difficult relationship or you think there might be some emotional abuse going on checkout. The mean workbook over at love and abuse dot com and the two hundred point assessment will highlight in pinpoint exactly what's going on in your relationship. And Finally, I want to thank Kevin McCloud of incompetent dot com for some of the music transitions in the overwhelmed brain, and like I said, I wanna talk about the very last technique on helping you get over the thought of waiting for the other shoe to drop very anxiety inducing state waiting for something to happen and not really being able to fully enjoy yourself like not being able to enjoy the weekends. You know, having time off being in the sun being with friends enjoying myself, but not really fully into it. Because I knew the shoe was going to drop I knew that it was going to be another miserable Monday, and that just is no way to enjoy life. I mean life can be hard. Yes. Life can be challenging it. It does have. Challenges in work can be hard. And there's a lot of difficult things in there. But when you have time to yourself when you have time off you should be able to enjoy that time. So one of the last items I wanna mention is when you make decisions, and I just talked about this in a recent episode. So if this is repeated information good. Get it down when you make decisions based them on what you want. Instead of what you fear when you move toward something you want you end up making decisions that lineup with your values and overall happiness when you're making decisions based on what you fear usually end up pleasing others and trying to control situations to work out in your favor. But usually end up unhappy or less happy in the process because what you truly want isn't being pursued because you fear. It's usually a fear of losing what you want. So you might spend your time always planning for the worst hoping for the best and getting just enough to keep you going, but not enough to be fulfilled. I mean there are times to plan for the worst. I absolutely agree. But don't let that mindset be your only motivation to create happiness you can plan for failure by increasing the con. Sentence that you have in yourself. So that when you do fail, you can get back up and be wiser for it. So instead of falling and feeling like you're too weak to continue when you build that confidence up. You know, that if you fall, you will rise in my opinion, personal growth work requires you to be self sufficient enough that if and when you're on your own when you're alone, you can get along just fine. Then when somebody doesn't to your life, you can share this amazing always improving version of yourself with them. And they'll love what they see in. They'll wanna share their amazing version of themselves with you. And when that happens, you have a powerful long lasting relationship because neither are reaching out to each other for a lifeline. They're reaching out because they both ad value. To each other doesn't mean you can't be a lifeline for each other. That absolute. Can does happen. But that should not be the basis for most relationships because it's a bit codependent and an aspect of codependence is when each of you has needs that only the other can fulfill that's a small aspect of it. But if you are always seeking your needs from someone else because you haven't done enough work in yourself, then when that person's not in your life, or when you fall, and they're not there to pick you up. That's when life is really hard. That's when you just want to be in a relationship or just want to have somebody else always there to support you and you probably do need to work on yourself more. You probably do need to improve the most important areas of life that if you didn't have someone else in your life. What needs improving that they keep taking care of for example, with me, it's accounting and money. If my girlfriend didn't take care of it. I would have to learn really quick. But I do need to work on that. I do want to feel self sufficient, it's nice to know that if a sink leaks in my house that I can fix it without having to call a plumber. It's because I wanted to learn that was weak in that area one points. And I I wanted to learn that it's also nice to know that if someone shows up in tries to cross my boundaries that I can stand up for myself and say, hey, you're crossing the line. Hey, we're being disrespectful and ask them to back off. I was weak in that area for a long time. But I chose to learn that in grow that improve that in myself, so that I could be self sufficient, so they didn't need someone else to do it for me. And the more you work on these things in yourself, and the more self sufficient you become then you bring this amazingly resourceful person into a relationship. Not that you have to know everything. But you know, you try to do what you can for yourself. So that you can be there for you and them, and hopefully, they're doing the same thing working on themselves improving themselves, so that they can be there for themselves, and you it becomes an and both situation that can work out, quite well, I hope things work out for you too. And if they don't just keep an open mind, so that you can step into your power. This will help you be firm in your decisions and actions, so that you can create the life. You want always take steps to grow and evolve you are powerful beyond measure above all. And this is something. I absolutely not true about you. You are amazing.

Laura Laura Paul Colajanni Bill Facebook Grayson US drooling Louis Zoe Potter Murray Bruce Eckhart Hugh twenty dollars one hundred percent
Connie Post: ...about raising a child with profound autism

Nobody Told Me!

33:46 min | 1 year ago

Connie Post: ...about raising a child with profound autism

"Welcome to nobody told me. I'm Laura Owens. I'm Jan black old parents hope to have a child who's healthy and happy and untouched by developmental all at mental disabilities. But what happens when a child has a serious developmental disorder that impairs their ability to communicate and interact. And how does that impact the child. The parents the rest of the family for some insight on that we turn to our guest. Connie post WHO's adult son. Thomas has profound autism. Connie is a longtime autism autism advocate. Who speaks to special needs conferences colleges and other groups about the challenges of having a child with autism? She's also an award-winning poet. Lose Book and when the Sun Drops Features Connie's poems about the feeling she's experienced as the mother of thirty three year old son whose been at a group home since at the age of six hundred. We thank you so much for joining US thank you. I'm very happy to be here. Tell us about how you learned. Thomas had profound autism autism. Well it's always a development over time. We thought something might be wrong it however that means just a little milestones not being met when he it's about fifteen or eighteen months but there's always a thing with parents where you don't want to believe that so you just watch over time. We were told at about eighteen months that he was enough behind to go into an early intervention program. But they didn't really know is wrong yet but this was thirty three years ago where the screening was different over a period of time. We started to realized that things weren't happening more and more. We saw more and more developmental psychologists. I started reading more. This was at a time there was no google had to go to the library and I started to. I think that maybe he has autism. But it's a very at the time. It was such a severe diagnosis that there was some hesitancy so there was a lot of things like him. Not Crawling him not point teen eighteen Not even liking baby food because the texture was too overwhelming for him at the time. When I look back afterwards it made sense but when I was going through it and none of it made sense so about the time he was three? He finally got the official diagnosis. But I already knew by then because I had been doing so much reading but we did it but we didn't know no matter how severe it would be because you hear various stories of people have it or they learned to talk or they emerged from it or will he never talk and and will he never be able to take care of himself. That is how it happened. That was a very painful road but it's very uncertain time because you have really no idea what the future looks like. Seems like there are varying levels of how severe it can be and you hear about people being on the spectrum. What exactly does that mean was a relatively new term so in Thomas this was diagnosed there was no such thing it was? He was had autism. Marie didn't on the spectrum happened. And it's a little bit vague but probably more in the late eighties more mid nineties nineties. Where the diagnostic parameters were opened up so that people that were higher functioning levels were considered on the spectrum? It's really kind of vague. And if you ask ten different doctors and ten different people some of them come up with somewhat of a different definition but it means in some level. You are exhibiting behaviors around autism whether it be social interaction communication issues maybe an inability to kind of function at a job because the sensory experiences overwhelming autism is a is a disability a profound distortion of the sensory experience so seeing and hearing and touching her all watch were overwhelming overwhelming for a lot of people with autism than just for us and so some of the things they do like rocking and adapt to that overwhelming sense so so on the spectrum is more like it is very wide and one of the controversies is when you say you have a kid on the spectrum does it mean like Thomas where he doesn't speak it all and needs he's twenty four seven care or does it mean you have some social differences and that you can work and people compensate for that so it's the opinion of a Lotta people now is it's almost too wide because you can't tell the difference between the low or high functioning which they used to ask burgers but now they changed that too so it's a it's a very uh-huh constantly flexing Area where they talk about what levels are and what the names are and you say that lower functioning autism like Thomas has. This is often left out of the public conversation. Why is that? It's a really good question I've been you know I've done a lot of reading on it. And a lot of the parents approximately thirty percent and this is a recent book. I just read by an expert at. UCSF and Dr Siegel was that. Thirty percent of the population of autism has severe autism. Sometimes parents that I talked to that have kids severe feel kind of alone and I think it's just because it's an uncomfortable factor so in the media or in stories people boop usually want to go away with a good feeling that that person triumphed. They did okay. They made the final basketball shop and the whole crowd cheered and that all makes Bakersfield good so we can go home and go to bed and feel better about that. Well it doesn't make people feel it's you know there's an ongoing disability that probably won't get better and it affects the whole family. Every we day. I don't know that people aren't coping with that on a daily basis. Don't really want to know about that. And so I'm not really sure about why the avoidance is but I've noticed even in my own life and my own conversations people will often parties and those kind of things say oh well but then. It's a blessing or there's an underside. They don't want to just hear how hard it is which makes people with kids who have started until very more isolated because I always think of with autism. What you see on the news that a kid may have autism but there are a high performer in something else or they're just extremely talented and I didn't know how severe it could be and I would love for you to tell us more? About what kind of treatment is available for somebody like. Tom Missed or for somebody who has low functioning and high functioning autism. Yes so it's their treatment of course can be very different and that also is very controversial. Because there's been a number of fad treatments that were the greatest thing since ever and then they faded off off What seems to be the most proven for hits like autism like Thomas who's older now but he had extreme problems with aggression and violence six and something called? SI which is self injuries behavior is that we had to have behavioral therapy and with him and occupational therapy to try to get their sensory experience back in order so sensory like A. I'm sorry behavioral therapy seems to be the most effective There's sometimes people. I believe that you know. B twelve or kind of medicines. Were trying to get desensitized to being in the public so it's not so overwhelming and have certain social interactions since when Thomas was literally couldn't go very many places because he could fall apart and start screaming at a moment's notice so we had to kind of try to find ways to count them to cope with these overwhelming feelings. People people with higher functioning autism. I don't really. I'm not up on all the treatments are because I've been focusing down here on this level Thomas but he's on medications cause the aggression was so profound that it was affecting everybody and he was hurting us and himself and he's managed with you know Psychotropic medication and he's totally even on news. Fine now but it was really hard to make that decision to do that. Yeah that was the decision you had to make when he was six. Wasn't it when when you had to place them in a group home yet so we tried everything I mean I you start reading. I tried things called patterning. Try to every new therapy vitamin B.. Twelve therapy we tried everything and at some point the team of people are dealing with a come to you and say nothing is working. We had an expert at told me and had to sit down with me. It was really very hard to hear it. She if you don't put them in a group home and get control these behaviors. He's GonNa end up and institution because nobody's going to want to deal with this level of aggression no matter how young or old they aren't much much worse Of course as they get older it was the hardest decision I've ever made. I tried to think of in terms of I have to do this now. So he'll eventually be okay and and I am. I over for years for years that I did the right thing but as I saw to finally settle down and be calmer in the world and find a peaceful place I I really know that I did save him but it was an anguish. That didn't go away for a long time. A lot of people don't have to do grope homeplace when it's an individual decision for every family. Sometimes people can be judgmental about it because they have lived through it like so I had to do in services for some time some of the staff because I don't and sometimes they didn't understand like why would his parents quote unquote feel like they needed to give their child away not understanding the story that led up to it. We saw Thomas. It's pretty often once. Every couple of weeks and picked him up he lived in Sacramento for a long time But it's a it's a very difficult decision for every single parent and You can't if it's the right decision until the years go by and then see if they were wonderful there I mean. They did everything with him and they had all the tantrums and the aggression Shen and the difference is if you have staff that goes home and they get paid and they have a reward from to get a break. Parents are on twenty four seven. You're not sleeping there's high level of sleeping disorders as with autism. You're exhausted all the time. The rest of the families completely affected siblings. Nobody wants to come visit you. 'cause it's so difficult so you're just you're warranted the bone. Tom And you also feel like you're not ultimately helping them learn to cope with their disability. Are Nobody told me. 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I agreed I had fun trying on my worby Parker samples to an order to great pair of glasses which my boyfriend also thought were super. And I can't wait to try scout by worby parker their new comfortable breathable and affordable daily contact lenses. They're made from a super moist material that resists drying for lasting hydration and comfort order a trial. Pack that includes six days worth of context for only five dollars and then received five dollars off your next worby. Parker order learn more at worby parker dot com slash. Nobody told me that's war parker dot com slash. Nobody told me. What words of wisdom would you have for? Parents and Siblings Ling's Lucille. Like autism is consuming every single aspect of their life. And I'm just wondering if you've ever felt like you needed a break and donned how you did that and how you were able to just cope with everything that you've been through. Most people even higher functioning autism. Sometimes just it's very overwhelming even sometimes when the when the person has a lot of language sometimes there's something called Echolalia. It's perceptive language where they just kind of go through the same loop over run over again and they get really upset if things don't got kind of go in the way they need them to some people who have significant disabilities by Thomas's level. Get something what's called respite. Where you work through this agency called the regional center? It's a state funded Agency where they provide you respite. Because you can't even go out and get milk or you just trade things off with your partner partner at the time so sometimes people just need to be able to go to the movies and be away from it for a while if a kid is. It's a child is not that Violent it's a lot easier for somebody. Maybe a family member an aunt and uncle grandparent to come in and take care of them where it gets difficult as they're having aggression really. Nobody wants to go into a house and ha ha get hurt. So that's why you have to get professionals in there to try to help you. I had behaviorist basically living in my house when Thomas was like two trian for him. And we're all the time and they were convinced this one behavior said there was an antecedent behavior. I'm sure of it and we're going to do this this and this and he's like Oh my God there. There is no antecedent behavior. He's just falling apart at a moment's notice. I said I tried to tell you that. So sometimes experts think they know what to tell you what to do and then they see your situation and they realize is that you know. Maybe they don't how the answer then we gotta start back from Ground Zero. What happens in a group home? Tell us what kind of care they're able to provide that you would not be able to provide a home setting and and how that's different from an institutional setting yet institutional are just very west kind of how we imagine a long time ago more like how in Napa was their large institutions or in if anybody saw the movie rain man you know where there's large housing of people with various levels of either mental illness or autism. Interestingly enough to sidebar a lot of people who had autism before the nineteen forties were misdiagnosed as schizophrenia and ended up in you know institutions ends along with the same kind of patients but Group homes are able to offer all kinds of occupational speech therapy Developmental therapy either. Have A behaviorist. So they have an occupational therapist. They have people who are often young and are interested in dealing with who have disabilities to help them later. So they have an interest in making their lives better and the connections that they may have been really wonderful. I I got very attached to live staff. You know because I knew that they really loves Thomas Sometimes they'd call and say Thomas had a huge thing today and we had to clear out the classroom or this is what we did or he got hurt because he got into a thing with someone he has a scratch over as I but they were really the ones to cope with these behavior. In a way that they that were consistent and calm and loving And over time the person learns that you know all the their their sensory experience starts to normalize that all this screaming and yelling and everything isn't making anything better they do it in a really lovely way and I can't say that for all group homes. I can only speak to the variances that I've had but I looked I. We searched long and hard for those places. And there's horror stories right that really scare you in a very deep way so We were very careful about where we ended up putting him and it was a very high level place. How have his symptoms symptoms changed as he's gotten older well he's really still you know he doesn't talk still and he doesn't get dressed on his own and he needs help with everything showering toilet and all that stuff stuff but he's just more peaceful? I mean the turmoil in the early part of his life was awful because one of the things that people say to me it was at least. He's happy because they didn't live with us he's he's not happy he's screaming all the time. It's a painful existence for all of us what I always wanted for. Thomas was that he despite the fact that he doesn't talk that he would being a peaceful place in the world where he's safe and loved and knows he's loved by his family and he is. That was a long time to get there. He he doesn't talk. How do you know whether he understands what you try to communicate to? Yeah he has You know really what's called better receptive language than he does expressive expressive language And so like I'll say things sometimes across the room and You know he'll do them. Sometimes I don't think he understands more complex emotional stuff stuff but to be honest he understands More than I think sometimes but can I read a poem called nonverbal which kind of address that sure okay. Non Verbal Real. People often ask since he can't speak. How do you know what he wants? which is often followed with a moment of my own silence? How do I know when it's done? How do I know when the fog rises up over the Eastern Hill? How do I know Wonder Ryan is stretched out across the autumn sky? I hear your footsteps as You come downstairs before. I am out of bed on Sunday morning. Each measured footsteps like a faraway drumbeat. I have become accustomed to in a dense forest silent blooms. Wow and your poetry writing. Poetry has helped you cope with this. Has it a great deal but actually always kind of dabbling doing when the poetry thing when I was in teenager and college but when Thomas was born there was this explosion of poetry and I wrote a very small little book called seasons of love. Seasons of law said it was about this diagnostic experience of all the stuff that you're losing that everybody tells you you're not losing and it will be fine. That book sold so many copies because there was so many parents who were trying to tell their families what were happening but nobody was listening. Felt very alone and I'm really glad I found a way to reach people through poetry which is now like my main stay in my life. Now run run. Ridden a bunch of other books as well but it really helps me through it a lot. I mean everybody knows. Poetry can be very cathartic but it's also very important to me that I helped others and at this is point in my life. Thomas is older. I consider it one of my goals to help others. Who are going through this crisis? And it's really a very difficult time when their kid is a younger or when they have to go through residential placement To help them through the time because there's decisions to me made dealing with professionals and educators and everybody's I'm just telling you what you do it. It's very very hard with his avalanche of information. Coming at you and you're losing you feel like you're losing the child to this disability and I just can't even imagine how overwhelming that is and I'm sure a lot of our audience hasn't had an in depth conversation with apparent of an autistic child and I'm just wondering if there are some things that we should should say in some things we shouldn't say to the parents of an autistic child. That's a really good question and I really appreciate that because I really think that people are generally well meaning. I don't think they're trying to do it to make you feel bad. But I think that people stuck with they don't know what to say and it's almost kind of like sometimes when people die. They don't know what to say. So they offer platitudes kids and then instead of just listening one of the things you can just say is that must be really hard or how is it for you And just saying is there anything that I can can do for you but I wanted to just kind of integrate to that. Remember that when you're talking to parents with severe autism or even remedium higher level functioning. You're either sleep-deprived deprived dealing with the sense of failure. Whether it makes sense or not there may be Isolation affects on the siblings difficult to go anywhere in the holidays. Today's the holidays are completely not normal. Just everything every time you get them dress. Take off their clothes. Their wet put him in the shower learning to be an advocate. Because then you have to find out ways is to get the right education learning your kids rights. You're going through like this huge thing and then people also say well you're going to have to learn to deal with it. I think it's just better. You're just say can I help you. I hear that that's really hard and I'm here for you. It's the most important thing you can hear because you're going to resolve the problems on your but anyway it's your own family. You guys have to make family. You know family decisions together but just to feel like the other thing. Is that going silent part. A lot of people will just don't know what to do people just kind of disappear. It's modern word called ghosting. But they just don't want to deal with it anymore and maybe it scares them. Maybe they had something in their family. That reminded them of but going. It is also a very painful. It'd be present president a loving way. Our nobody told me conversation continues in just a moment. You know much like our extraordinary ordinary guests on. Nobody told me. 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CARE NETWORK DOT com forward slash. Nobody and use offer code. Nobody you've written that. Parents are often judged for the public behaviors of the child with autism. Tell us more about that. And and what you went through as a parent trying to come to terms with all of this I mean. was there a time when you've felt that there must have been something that you did that contributed to this or that. There must be something you can do to make better. Yes well you. Until they're nine nine or ten you feel like I don't. I can't miss the one theory that might be the thing. You're like on this Predator hill where you don't WanNa miss it and you even if you know it's genetic which which as a sidebar they're proving that it's really got much more genetic base. There's this thing called a rational guilt even though you know it's not your fault that you pass on genetic thing that comes this from either parent. There's this irrational guilt that you feel that it's your fault and you know it takes a long time to work through that because you know there's what you know in your heart and what you know in your mind of course in my your mind you know. It's not your fault but when something goes wrong with your kid and you feel like you can't help them it's very it's just really painful. And sometimes sometimes dads have a harder time with it because they're supposed to feel like they can pick their kids and it can cause a lot of problems in the marriage with sometimes people are drawn together by grief but sometimes people are drawn apart art and if they feel like they can't fix it. There's a conflict that starts in the beginning and also conflicts about treatments. And I had to say I'm not doing this treatment. I think it's going to hurt him. We have to think of as overall good. Are we going to do this treatment. No harm no foul if it doesn't work and so it's just this constant struggle to figure out what you can do to make it better in my own mind. I used to think it was the worst thing. They've Thomas ended up not talking and being a group home and that was when he was younger. As you get older and the things don't happen you. There is a way and a time that you end up accepting it and you know that you love them anyway and my daughter just had to to grab as which you probably probably see on facebook and worried a lot adorable because there really are have to say so but my daughter and I worried a lot because when you have a sibling with autism you have a twenty five percent increase Greece. Chance that having a child about them and you know Erica would say well what are we gonNA do with. I'm like I don't know what I do know. We're GONNA love him anyway. See misers love him anyway and then we'll figure it out so far they seem fine but it doesn't mean you don't worry about it because it's often doesn't appear until later especially higher functioning doesn't get diagnosed until later so you worry people tell you not to worry but you do. I'm curious to know what skills you think. Erica learned by having autistic brother because as you always hear that the siblings of somebody who has a serious disorder can be greatly affected and their lives are just not like a normal child. Yeah and you know. I'm so glad you brought that up because there's Entire books written about experience and it's very complicated because you both want to have them have have some compassion for the person with disability. But not have it be the entirety of your whole family so some siblings have grown up. I read about or talk to that resentful Info because they felt like their life didn't matter anymore than this this onslaught and also. It's like when when somebody's hurting everybody else. That's the first thing you're going to deal with or you know having some us all the issue happened every day so they feel kind of pushed aside. Sometimes if I've read some stories where people if they haven't sibling the living in the garage. I just a teenager because they don't want to. They're afraid of them. And so it's really a hard balance because you feel like I need to also make sure that this normal child's okay ended up presenting the disabled child. I think there's things you can do. As far as spending time alone with him a lot and just have special time or even go with her aunt and uncle or cousin and I feel like they get a break from it. To Erica is amazing. I was always very honest with her but she's grown the most compassionate person and she actually she ended up in a job at eight or nine years ago where she one of her job is to help. Those clients ahead disabilities and some of their jobs have she's an HR. And I feel like it's made her experi compassionate person and but it's also very hard so when Thomas was ten or eleven or twelve he was just constantly taking taking his pants off and one day. Erica came into the room with his pants and she looks at me. She's like I want nothing to do with his pants ever again. You can go all the way until you're twenty twenty and you don't have to do have anything to do with us anymore and then she's come back around and she's very very helpful now But it's has a profound impact and it depends on how the family are they. Honest are the putative do is it a cultural shame do should they talk about it in public. Should they not talk about it in public Erica didn't have friends over for wild. Sometimes when Thomas was home because there was embarrassing things that happened and I tried to make space for that. But it's If your family the talks about things it's usually better than a family family just doesn't talk about things and let's Kinda resentments go underneath It's very hard on the sibling a lot. What are some of the resources that are out there? For parents of of child with profound autism in terms of I would imagine like just helping to pay for for the costs and finding out what to do and where to go. Yeah so there's a really. Most people go to the Autism Society website and they have a lot of really good resources sources there. It's just autism Dash Society Dot Org and They have individual chapters in each state and also in each region. So you have the San Francisco chapter or the Bay Area Chapter and people together with these things get so much support from other parents because they have ideas or things well we went through that. And here's is what we did and we hit. What's your therapy? You don't go to that guy. He was really difficult. I think the parental support thing is very very important. when you become a client of the regional so senator which Thomas did you get A lot of services that come with that there's a certain level of disability or non-functioning. You have to have to get both services. And so but I do feel glad that we had them like. I said we got respite care. We got behavioral therapy group home. That Thomas is in is actually funded by the state. There's no way we could ever afford it so there was a act called the Lanham Act many years ago. That decided that we're going to take care of people with disabilities to regional center. which is is a service oriented center that provides all these various kinds of support so we as a case manager? We meet every year you know and talk about his goals and how he's doing confusing a day program. What would it be? Okay if I actually read this. Poem called Annual Review about that issue and every year in April. We have the same meeting about Thomas. Annual Review we gather in a small room tables chairs and Hatfield notebooks that. Try To tell your story. Someone new assigned to your case asked asks me questions. I have answered a thousand times. No he can't brush his teeth. No he can't make his own meals yes he tries to make his own bid and sometimes sometimes he buses his own plates. Sometimes he cries and we don't know why sometimes he tears his clothes to shreds and then we buy new one one hour and twenty minutes past. Each person at the table closes their files. I want to tell them how you said. She's once at their refrigerator. Refrigerator back then. There were no case. Managers no funds to be disbursed and know team meetings just a boy who's blond hair. Ah Combed each morning and silence that new which way we were headed I wanted to say I said he said she's once he said tours in in his life which you think oh that he's GonNa Start Talking said cheese once and pancake once and that was it. What prompted those? He was in front of that he wanted to pancake. We were teaching the sign for pancakes because we decided we used to do a little bit of sign language which kind of helps and he did the pancake signed and it was really painful. Because Oh my God he said his first word may start talking and he never harse arse as a as a mother how do you try to to relate to him I mean do you touch him you hug him and actually. There's kind of a myth that people autism coaches aren't very affectionate and I would describe it that they do it on their own terms Thomas Kissing me and hugs me. And he doesn't WanNa Touch Mil let me know but doesn't everybody he does this thing. Where if you want something kind of like touch my shoulder and push that way and he kinda will push like he's upset and you're trying to give them food if he doesn't WANNA why don't you just pushes away? We're like okay. Not that we Kinda do twenty questions not that So we kind of and there's a language in his body I understand and it's a silent language but it's kind of like when you have a baby and they don't talk yet but you know you kind of know what they want or they hunger. They're in pain. It's a similar kind of communication process. Thomas understands like I said Ed more receptive so if he has to go to the bathroom or if he's sad and we will so he understands what we're saying with the limited sign language we do. He just doesn't do it back. We tried. Hi to program called PECs picture exchange communication system where we're supposed to take the little Velcro pictures off and kind of show us what he wanted and it didn't work but it It works for a lot of people so what works for one person. Some non verbal children and adults have never talked but they can use communication boards. Which of course we tried with Thomas and sometimes people that don't have the language it's been really freeing for them to be able to do communication boards in this kind of thing so they can finally get their her story out and their feelings and whatever they need to talk about and Connie at the end of each program we always ask our guest? What is your nobody told me lesson? You must have just learned so many of these over the years. What advice do you wish you'd gotten about autism win? Thomas was first diagnosed. Oh there's kind of a list but they're wonderful quote and I don't remember who it was from but there's a quote that says don't worry about tomorrow because love is already there and I feel like I wish I would've known that I thought I would be destroyed by the loss of losing Thomas Disability and even though I was for a while we're not we're we're okay. I doesn't mean I don't worry about him all the time and its future. But sometimes you're searching so fervently for a cure for for things to be better that you forget to just be in the now and love your family anyway instead of getting so upset all the time and so I would just say take one day at a time time trying to worry about the future too much because it's not gonNA help. Just do what you can do today. Wake up the day and say what can I do today to make our lives. Better and your child's life better. Does he really need this. Is this more my need than his need. Because sometimes you get to a point. Where like is this really? Just my need to make this be different instead of their needs and they don't talk you'd have to find a way to figure out what those are so I would just maybe a little trite but definitely the one day time in Nova. Love's GonNa get you through and that's the most important and I'm Tony. How can people connect with you online and find out more about your work and your poetry? I'm on facebook as we didn't change so just connie post post from livermore. I also have a just a website. It's called POETRY POST DOT COM rather clever for Connie Post P. O. NPOESS. I couldn't resist make naming that website. Poetry Post Dot com and I have an email link fair and various book. But those kinds of things. Okay and you'd love ABC's here from People who are truly this especially if there's questions about resources or diagnostics or treatments that are controversial and I never say what works or doesn't because everybody has a different experience but I will just say this is what happened with us and this is why I was pro or con but just supportive just to hear well. Connie we can't thank you enough for coming on the program and sharing your story and your poetry. It's so beautiful in so meaningful and we know that our audience is really going to get a lot of value out of this so we thank you for that. I'm very grateful that you had me on and giving me the opportunity to speak about it. Thank you our sincere thanks to Connie post who's website again is poetry post dot com. I'm Laura Laura Owens and I'm Jan Black and you've been listening to. Nobody told me. Thank you so much for joining us and uh-huh.

Thomas autism Connie Post P. O. NPOESS Worby Parker US Laura Laura Owens developmental disorder facebook Tom Missed google basketball official Marie UCSF Autism Society Erica Bakersfield Siblings Ling Air Med
Set Lusting Bruce - Laura

Set Lusting Bruce: The Springsteen Podcast

59:12 min | 4 months ago

Set Lusting Bruce - Laura

"And i hear the intro to born in the usa and unlike this is the best thing ever could. i don't know i don't know the intro. Something of sowed it was just sounded so cool to like me as a seven girls. And as like i would bopping. I was really excited. Hello everyone and welcome to a new episode of settling bruce your podcast all about bruce springsteen his music and mostly use fans. I am your host jesse jackson and joining me. Tonight is laura laura. Welcome to the show. I thank you for having me. Oh i am so thrilled You know Bruce springsteen royalty connected us donna from bruce funds sent a lovely email And he copied you saying. Hey jesse laura Has some wonderful stories is a passionate fan. I think she'd be a great guests on your podcast. Then so I reached out to you. And i'm so happy you're willing to join me thank you. Yes so Tell us a little about yourself. I'm nineteen i am College students trying just make it through you know i'm a fan of for springsteen. Obviously and i only i'll know what else is relevant. Well i think that's a good start. Did you know without getting into specifics. How is school going in the time of. Are you doing everything remotely are. Are you guys. you know. Talk to me a little bit about that. It's it's a scary time to be a student. So i'm doing everything remote. I decided to everything note. But there's an option to like beyond camp ed I feel like it's it's starting to get worse. Like with active cases on campuses. It went like all my flown particular went. Like number of active cases went like five times like it expanded by five times like the original like one month and for faculty three times. And honestly i know some students who are being responsible as they should be so laura. I'm right there with you. You know. I'm i live in texas. We live in dallas and It it is scary. Fe- amount of people you know. I see walking around without masks I don't wanna get too political but You know we feel like as a nation. Our current administration doesn't seem to have a plan fright like oh we'll just ignore it. It'll go away. And i. I'm worried i am in. We'll get to something fun in a minute but it is scary to think that you know it's as a recording this. It's november eleventh and we're going into winter and with a lot colder weather and people being more you know close together. I think unless we try to take care of ourselves We could see a lot worse situation. Why am glad you you're staying safe. And i'm glad you're able to do remote And so please. Continue to be safe. And i. i'm i'm i'm proud of you and i'm glad you're doing the right things One of the things. I always like to laura's to go back at the beginning so talk about growing up You share a feet before we hit record that you're from a mixed you're from a mixed family. A one parent is a priest. Fan one isn't So talk to me about growing up. What kind of did your family listen to. And you just share a little bit of that background. Well my mother though one here does not like greece spring okay and she grew well she growing up. While i was growing up she listened to an murray Mary chapin carpenter. I believe i carpenter by the way. Guess what i'll tell you. Mary chapin carpenter story in a minute. Please continue oregon music. Yes like off coordinated. Olivia newton john. The carpenters karen carpenter and richard carpenter. And my father is bruce springsteen big fan glen campbell Rolling stones motown neil diamond carly simon frank sinatra new okay so Kind of both sides did does she not like bruce's music or does she think because i will tell you i had an earlier guest who In like in basically they were they were telling her of the whoever. My guest was that You need to stay away from people. Like bruce springsteen are a bad influence. You know that that's that's trash from trash. So did she not like him just like his music or she just did not like rock and roll period She thinks he flat anything. The nutty kitschy off tune and that is music assists in doing incoherent. Okay that's great. I don't feel bad insulting saying the saying native stuff. That how about bruce. Even though i'm not directly saying it don't no and i totally understand what you're saying and you know it's it's interesting My lovely bride like you know. I can't understand anything. He's saying he grunts so much. And so what. I told him her to do. And i've told the story. Multiple times is just pretend voices another instrument and it's an instrumental and that may belinda. Like it a little better. You know. I think everything she said. There is Certainly some truth to that that you know we all have the reason why music is so powerful is we each have different things that speak to us and in if music speaks to you sometimes. You can't explain to someone else. Why like one of the questions. I ask is How did you discover bruce. What about him. Captivated you and sometimes people can tell that answer. Most of it can remember but times people can't say why his music spoke to him sal about you. Obviously your dad liked him. Can you remember when you first became conscious bruce. Okay so actually do i. I've not brag or anything. But i have a very good memory so i can like pinpoint specific the moment but like it was like two thousand eight second grade. I was like seven. Maybe yeah seven and analysis a very curious kid out of nowhere. I think i asked my dad. What music do you listen to. He goes bruce springsteen and the east re band. And i'm and i'm thinking in my head that sounds like a pretty cool name and then i asked. Can we listen. And then flash forward like a few days later. We're taking my brother up from school and we pick it up. Then we drive home and then ask him to leave her springsteen any born in the usa cdn and i hear the intro to born in the usa and unlike this is the best thing ever. I don't know. I don't know the intro like something about it was just sounded so cool to me as a seven girl. Yes and has like i would bopping. I excited i love that right you can in in. There's something about that you know. The anthem that pm blasting out. He it captivates you at that young age. That's a lovely story. So you're in the car you ask your the song and your dad plays it. do you. Immediately tell him how much you like it. Yes yeah i do. I'm like. I'm like the most excited like i've ever been and i'm like i keep i keep saying like this the best thing ever and then there are actually some parts of born in the usa. That i found funny. Like i found the lyric on the clue rock and daddy from the day that i found that funny when i like when i was a kid and i mean i didn't really get the lyrics back then so young but i just there was just i thought it was kind of funny without levin and i thought like introduction was saying and that makes sense right. You know. i'm a cool rock and daddy in the usa would is a kid right. You love that. And there is debate and discussion that he you know there's people who are much older than you were then that don't understand the song right as they play it outside of trump's window when he's cut cove it in like do not read the lyrics of you ever paid attention so i think a seven year old could be excused from liking that anthem and not understanding. What is about Your dad must have been thrilled right. Yeah and then i think he played at the super bowl in his thousand. A i might be wrong. But and so then. I would like coincidentally like the same year i think and i and i remember thinking like watching it berry in like i was watching the at every new and berry focused and but part of me thought also thought why aren't there wasn't like a theatrics thing like they normally do like that artists normally do but i still liked it nonetheless so interesting. Is you know. I was so excited. Bruce was playing the super bowl. Right and by sign at the time was not a fad. I none of his friends. He was in college and none of his other friends. Just look at me like i. Don't care papa. J like either. Like i don't understand why. Why are you excited about it. I understand it's bruce. It's the super bowl. So did they did you guys tape it or dvr the show. It was li- like i think i watched it. Sure i don't think. I don't think our tv did. We didn't have one of those advanced tv back in that time. We didn't get like a flat screen until like a few years later. Go because baby are okay. Because i didn't know maybe because The reason i'm asking is you know my son. We would tape stuff you. We had a vcr back then and You know like he lists you know he certainly was young enough to watch barney. A you know In then rafi I don't know if you're you're probably too young to remember rafi. Was this canadian guy that would do you know children's music and but we would also tape local musicians and he would reap like we had a lady named sara hickman. Who's a friend of ours and she was on like a local. Pbs special and he would replay that music over and over again. So i didn't know maybe. They had taped the halftime. Show for you and you would replay it at times. Yeah i mean i only. I've i saw on youtube a few years later but I never played it. Okay danny i was just going to say So that was a memory As you growing older. How did your phantom change like you know did you. Did you start. Did your dad keeps showing you different kind of springsteen albums or did you start exploring it on your own. I would say combination of both the albums that i was most familiar with as a kid before high school would be darkness born in the usa in to run. And i think what helped me get into like to like most of the songs on those three albums was i wasn't around released. That's goals so. I just heard them all through and i feel like i didn't have the bias of knowing which one was a single or or hearing one more than another incan condition myself like it. 'cause when i listen to like album today i tend to like this singles better because they're played more and i know that it's a single but that that helps a lot with me liking bruce just hearing the album not knowing what songs were popular but i would say that in high school my life changed change because it became not search and not become my dad music star. Become my debt is exactly where i wanted to go. Laura is you know on school. We often find their own voices or our own. Our musical tastes than i. I'm going to sound like an old fart. And i apologize in advance right because i am sixty one years old right but like And so i'm gonna have this totally wrong but you know your peers. Maybe listening to taylor swift or lady gaga. and and. i'm. I sure you had your share liking that music too. But bruce stayed part of your listening in your music vocabulary. Yeah sort of happened by tenth grade. I became really depressed. Only and i was like i don't know i i really. I just remembered one side to. Just listen to bruce springsteen album born to run just start to finish and i have like this appreciation for under road that i never happy for because honestly before high school. I didn't really care that much for thunder road. I liked tenth avenue freeze out with my favorite song on born trump. When i was before high school but then when i listen to thunder road and like tenth grade it just made me feel like i was being like transported to another world with just with my ear buds. Then and it. There were some lyrics. I know like doing the song might not have been referring to my situation but it felt like it was what i needed to hear and those situations like. I know you're lonely and thunder road. And then there's something about like finding like fighting for people in thunder road or like persistence. Said i like that spoke to me. It was sort of like a reality that i wanted to have in reality that i had at the same time. If that makes sense. And then i started to forbade land and the darkness album. And that's where. I felt like i truly connected to the music. Rather than just oh. This tune is catchy. And it's a fee you know so there's a guy here in dallas that Is a musician. And he Is part of a of a springsteen tribute band right. They they do. The name of the band is thunder road and He was talking to me that he was fighting depression and he said you know the line and thunder road. You can hide me covers and study. Your pain made crosses from your lover throw roses in the rain. He said that was me. I was hiding my face under the cover. He says i was so depressed and bruce's music helped me get through it And i think that speaks a lot to not only the power of the music. But your your soul that it spoke to you. Laura that you you know all of a sudden you know you're sixteen fifteen sixteen right and and this song all of a sudden waking up You know something you hadn't thought about before and that's a beautiful story. Yeah i mean. I just and like even carry the intro. Thunder road captivated me. I was like when you hear from your care. That like for term monica pitch. Unlike yes us. You know that. And i try to tell myself and another lyrics that i like i try to tell myself side. It's a town full of losers like lonely. But like the people who i'm trying to i've been trying to impress her the people's ripe and trying to fit in. I try to tell myself that they aren't all that like it's the townfolk literally town of. Why should i be in trying to crush them so hard. There's not any better than me. i don't always. I don't always feel that way. But i've tried to tell myself that. Well it's hard to be we all don henley who is the one of the co founders of the eagles and said once that he thinks a lot of ways all of us are trying to recover from high school so and i don't want to belittle 'cause i know. There is a lot of pain that as an adolescent in as a teenager were going through in there is you know. There's so much about you know high school. That can be painful and really tough and i think whatever you can use to as a mechanism to help you survive. And as long as it's not cruel to something someone else i think is a very healthy thing. And the idea white to say This is a town full losers. I'm pulling out of here to win is not well. I'm i'm not necessarily better than these people. What i'm saying is i have different dreams. I have different abilities and they may not be recognized now but in the future there will be a group of people a family a destination. That will appreciate what i'm bringing to the table do. Is that kind of what you're saying. Yeah and sometimes. I feel like i still haven't really found that yet but i don't know i just like yeah. I might have something to offer. And i'll know more like a these people are better than me. I it into be candid laura. I'm sixty one. And i still don't know what i want to be when i grow up so You know and and i do think there is One of my favorite springsteen songs is better days and the reason why in. I've talked about this often. I believe what better days as saying as to enjoy the journey that there may be hard times. There may be challenges but too many people say Well when i get up high school then. I'll be happy when i graduated from college. Then i'll be happy when i find a partner in my life. A you know a a significant other. Then i'm going to be happy versus like enjoying your time. Like as this journey as i go through school and appreciate the fact that i am during this horrible pandemic is surviving and i am figuring out a way to get my education and being safe I am joying bruce's music. I'm enjoying you know making friends. And knowing things right it is the journey and then i also kinda only to thunder road in addition. Because i i got into riding through and that helps me a lot. I mean that's just helped me a lot. And then i like shared it ass at the bruce fund. What birthday celebration. And it was like hearing myself read it for the first time and then having such positive. The fact made like was reassuring. Yeah you shared a little bit of that with me and so For our audience like kind of talk about what you. What were you thinking and and talk a little bit about you. What you road and you know. What were you trying to say. It's it's a journey Like sort of like what you said but it's all on journey through like self hatred due to feeling lonely and feeling that like no one cares and then how how you feel like everything you say is his fringy. There's nothing special about you compared others. No one sees that all these grievances and then it sort of takes the turn of like but in the end i want to be all right with me and then it and basically just it's kind of like i don't know parodies. The best word been off. Elderly you want to call it but it certainly like. It's based off of thunder road. And then it. I remember it and wentz it ends with the and then i ended it with its town. And what i've discovered council losers. So why am i so eager to fit it. And that's that's my favorite part. I might not be totally on or yet. But i of me deep down. I think believes that it. I think that is a powerful statement. in especially Your age no matter where you are. There is a desire in a a pressure to fit in and to be accepted. And one of the things that i love most about this springsteen community in doing this podcast. Is i get a chance to talk to A lot of bruce fans and a lot of music fans and ninety nine percent of them have no judgment in have a spirit of of friendship and love and acceptance. And i think that is the group that i should be trying to fit in with right to. If if someone doesn't want to accept me why should i fight so hard to make them accept me. Because i know i'm valuable. I know i'm a good person. And i know have value and when i read your Document you know it's kind of calf point half kind of you know essay. That's what i felt. I felt like you were saying that i am. I am important. I am valued and you should. You should understand that about me in whether you want accepted or not. I'm gonna accept myself. Yeah and i like how any like sorta goes on it. I would say that goes on a journey because like i've broken up into three cards. Yes where i. But i know my role this no thunder road. It's a lightning devon. Nine needed was a friend. That car was. I think one of the most raw without feeling like raw what i was doing. It was like candid. And then the men he go to the other sections like the end of the second section and then the third section it's sort of reflecting and looking towards the future and having oak for something better and not try and like remembering that. No one's really all that were wrong. We're all that we all have the same cooling. I think it's very cool. That his music has inspired you to write What other writing are you doing. Also did something on another thing on thunder road. But i don't know where to put it it's about just revisiting it and like what it means like. I don't know how to explain it. It's about like someone who just wants to hear thunder road again and it's about like listening to it in a time where you are just lonely and sad. It's it's kind of like the other piece but not it's shorter and i don't really think that it fit in as well i mean and also with like this is kinda different but i had to do like i had to take an honors class for my college and i was like i don't want to take any of the honors classes that are offered so i emailed the director of the honors program. Now like what can we do. And then he's like well you can do an independent study and this is like a week before fox and started so. I didn't really have much time to plan something. And then we had to do and then he's like well. What do you want your independent study about. And i'm like bruce springsteen and then he's like that's a lot to work with. That's not very much. that's not very typic- and then i'm like well bruce springsteen l. I mean i eventually of something. 'cause i took a sociology class and and had to do three proposals for a paper and got and that professor picked one and that professor one of them was a springsteen topic. That's professor rejected. So i basically decided to do that for this. So for that independent study. I wrote a book review on not thunder born to run the autobiography which i got an a. on very excited and also. I'm currently on page seven of a ten page paper. I after i. This was a sociology thing that was rejected by another class. But it was about about how bruce's life experiences music represent american culture. That's very cool. I would love to read that when you're finished 'cause i that's that's an interesting topic affect anything you want to share. You have an open forum on you know. I don't have that many people go to my website. But you're welcome to share anything you want. I'll be glad to posted and You know so that people can Anything you wanna share the. I love how you're taking your passion for his music and you're using it as you know one of one of the songs that has been a lot to me during this time. Is the song from high hopes. The scissors sword right. This is your sword. This is your shield. This is the power of love revealed. And it sounds like you're using his music as a sword and shield to protect your your tender heart and your You know your mental health. Yeah and this might sound kinda bad. But sometimes i feel like i need to have a personality or like some. I need to be passionate about something in order to like up for whatever whatever like bad feelings. I might be feeling and like other thing that i wrote. That was talking about. It's it said something like talks about like let's see It said myself the person with no personality the person new grafts onto bruce springsteen to say that life has meaning and that sort of it is too it is. I would say you know what he talked about in the letter to you film. And he's talked about under broadway and the in the book is he has been having an ongoing conversation with his audience and To quote the land of hope and dreams right. You'll need a good companion on this part of the ride I think right now. Laura bruce's music is being a companion to you and as you grow and in in continue to learn and expand and develop your social context right. He'll always be a part of your life in a part of your companion in. I think depending on the circumstances. I think it'll give and take on how much you're relying on his music evening. Senior pies school was probably like one of the years where i felt like yes. I listen to bruce springsteen. Good if i it wasn't really like a survival thing. It was more like a fun thing and that's because i was significantly happier senior year of high school them maybe sophomore year or junior year. Because i don't know. I just felt like i felt like i was valued more senior year by others and noticed more. I mean my notice. Tiny just like balloted. Not necessarily i wanna attention but validated in. You know i can tell you all you want in your your parents and your friends could tell you. Validation comes from yourself but the reality we are social creatures and a lot of how we see ourselves is how others see us and that is really important. And and i can see how you know. You know you're starting college. You're you've got all this cove and things going on. It is a a stressful time for all of us and especially going into something new and i. I know that i speak for. I can't speak for bruce. But i'm sure he finds great comfort that you and me and others we use him as you know. I've heard the fraser time. The soundtrack relies it is our companion and i just wish others could just could could see out and bruce. I mean maybe more of my generation. 'cause there is some people lie just honestly wish that friends who. I wish that. I could jim out to for seen list. But they haven't really caught the bruce springsteen bug like i f. I once tried to get one person to but he reverted back to travis scott and logic who are wrappers in i get that right in But it will come to them when they need. It is and i think that's the you stay true to your phantom you learn you know experience other music and there will come a time. And i'm a firm believer in this that that there will be a bruce song that will speak to someone and you'll be able to say see. This is why i felt this way. I mean that's going to happen so I always like to preface this that you know the amount of time. You seem bruce. Perform live is not a fair barometer of how big of a fan you are. I've had people in the show that have never seen him. I've had people that have seen him over three hundred times. Have you been. Have you got a chance to see him live. That's an that's interesting. Little funny yet aggravating. Story i love aggregating funding source. No because so there was a time in two thousand eight. And i was like or is he there. Two thousand two thousand maybe both. We're always like zebras springsteen and on and my dad likes snow. It's a school night okay. So then and then flash forward sixth grade two thousand twelve. I'm like obama. And bruce springsteen. We're coming to the town. I live at that time. To lay Thong help obama won reelection. I guess. And i'm like can we go. And he's like my dad. No during school. And i in like i even like told my. I told my social studies teacher in six grade. That i that i could have been seen obama and bruce and at that moment and he's like you should have missed class and like even. My teacher was saying that. Like i would you like. I would have left my can costly that. And then there's a time a nice grade for the river tour and twenty sixteen point fifteen twenty sixty or on like cami fever springsteen. No it's a school night. And then i don't get it. How like one night one night seeing restricting one night in ninth grade. One have ruined my academic accomplishment seeing bruce springsteen and obama in sixth grade. We're nothing matters whenever ruined anything second and third grade. Seen bruce springsteen i might have been tired but you could open that that would. That's that's a very little concern like thirteen years later. So then my dad in nineteen seventy eight. A college student at princeton doger's spring seen on a school night yet. He's saying nope you can't do it. And that's why haven't so. I am i am. I had tears in my eyes. Because i in laughing at the situation not at you and also because the what what i what i find humorous and not is the difference of parenting. So i've already talked about my son a couple of times so like in the s- first or second grade. We got tickets for opening day at the texas rangers ballpark. The baseball team opening day and So you know. It's it's on. Tuesday the the games at one o'clock and we're going to the game. What are we going to tell the teacher. What are we gonna tell him missing school. I said we're gonna tell them you're going to opening day. I said i don't care. I said i cannot. I think in the long run. The idea that i took off work and i took you to a ball. Game is gonna mean more than whatever you're going to learn in second grade that day right right so then actually matters like college college. You actually matters more. And then you'd like any like talk about how we felt like fruits and nineteen seventy in. How like ties that bind. Was this what he saw that. Solvers performance. For the first time. I i'm like i don't get. It is critical so it is not my place to criticize your father. I've he is your father and you love them. But if i had been your dad i would have said. Okay you know the bonding of us. Going to bruce springsteen concert together And yes you may be a little bit late. But when bruce. Bruce only comes to town once a year at the most. You know we gotta take this. So i am right there with you. Laura i mean i'm sure in the long run he will forgive your father and beloved him always but when you're uber you're like the the the night before you graduate college or like you know like before your wedding rehearsal. Dinner let me tell you what my dad did right and tell that story. I think he missed the chance. He should've taken you. And i hope the next time. Bruce tours you call and say look dad. We missed it the last few times. There is no way that. How many more times is bruce gonna tour you have. We have to go together. There is no waiver getting out of this without us seeing together right. Yeah and on. I try to look at it this all of those times. Where i've had were fruit. Francine has performed what see four tenth grade and as we said before tenth grade was when i felt like i was added deeper connection. So i'm thinking that it will mean more and being my first time him. It would mean more have more gravity and i'd be looking forward to it more and it's just be more enjoyable. That's what i trade you are a wise woman and you in faith will be rewarded. This is going to happen. It's going to be together and you will hug your dad's neck and hold his hand. Bruce us thunder road and or born in usa and go dad. This was it. this was the first one. So that's great. Yeah he better place under roads. Yes indeed. I hope it like the time like on eighth street radio when they do the twenty sixteen concert when it's only like when the when bruises like young anymore sway when like when like the crowd goes like shell faith in the night. I don't want to sing. 'cause i don't get judged by i understand digest. No josie. now. I can make the team when like dadis things that i really want that to have. That gives me chill. Absolutely yes whenever he goes. Have a little faith. There's magic in the night absolutely So you've talked about born in. Usa was your first love and you obviously of shared how much thunder road is meant to. You are there other songs or albums that you use That that mean a lot to you as a fan and and that you know you you bring that either brings you joy or brings you comfort. Darkness darkness. I really like. I'm means i also like western stars. I means for me. It was like a no skip album. Every song is like great. And like those no songs that i consider overrated and it was just i went to see the movie with my dad and on and we enjoyed laurus. Was it a night. Actually yes okay. So maybe he's learning. Maybe he's learning. Okay that's good. It was like last year i. It was like in october last year. After a doctor's appointment and i remember i actually had an assignment you at midnight and we got back like two to my dorm. 'cause he traveled he like did like a car right up and we went back to the dorm and like i was cutting lows or not. Maybe it wasn't it wasn't at midnight it was like it was like some time during that time either way i would kinda close and i was like i because i saw western stars. I have to be like about like one or one and two trying to affect the assignment. That i could've done at other times during the western stars time but it was worth it. I don't think my dad knew about these timing. So maybe that's why he let me do it. That was like why he didn't want me to go to concerts fair. I got a ninety eight percent on that sign a vital and it didn't hurt me in the long run and i saw western sars and absolutely and you got to go with your dad right so hey dad look all right. We gotta make plans dad. You know your girl needs a live show in twenty twenty two like you have concerns given called that. Okay just the casey listening to the five gas Yes i like. I like secluded myself. No background noise will be heard. I guess the i so you've already talked about you. You want to hear thunder road when you go live. We are their cup of their songs. That and obviously that's a tough question. Laura right like the question is what songs you want to hear. Live all of them but are there a couple songs that you go that you will like. Oh yes. I'm so glad. I'm getting this laugh to think about ten thousand new freeze out. Maybe i myself. I wish clearance. I wish i could've seen clearance. Sure like or or like the jungle in solo at like i'm trying to think I hope that like i saw the letter to you. Like countdown and burnin train out. That could be an opener. I'm not. I think that's the song they're going to open with. I love that song. What i'll go definitely goes radio. Nowhere if i can perform a song with bruce springsteen it'd be radio where i don't know why just i know it's thunder road. Fender rhodes my favorite. But if i were to perform songs. With bruce springsteen would be radio now. Where do you play an instrument. I did percussion deal in high school. Okay and dawn. I was gonna ask him can you. Can you play freak scene on the viola. I mean the melody audibly. I could just learn it by ear. I don't know where my bela currently is. Why wasn't gonna make you play. I've just was curious doing that. That's funny that's great so I that's a good choice. That's really good choice So laura what have i. What have i not ask you that i should. I actually made a list of like the email stuff you didn't ask me. My musical tastes in highs wolf on musical tastes tasting high school top. Forty like the Stuff frankly and so you know. You know something that bruce springsteen and i have in common is we have dutch left names but are but we don't have a lot of we don't have as much dutch in as other go like one six eight dutch and but fell because my last name was dutch. I like wanted to know. Like i sort of wanted to try out some dutch music. And it's kinda like american pop music funding dutch kind of a. There's this dutch artists that i really like His name is nell. I might not be pronouncing that right but who knows I also like classical i. I really lost country. Music like marching band. Drumline i love it okay And jad blues rock and then and then there that's basically covers a lot of it and i'm there. Was this album. It's an album. It's more of an et. It's called somewhere over my head by grayson chance. One of my. It's one of my favorite album. Won't see. Ps whatever. You wanna call it and i think that a lot okay. Very nice good. So i think it's time for the barry question so louis so let me give let me set this up and then The floor will be yours. So j armstrong is an honors english teacher in the philadelphia area and every year his seniors. They take two days and they break down thunder road as point. They go through. All the lyrics talks about the imagery in the song he talks about the themes of the song They compared to robert frost. The road not taken in at the end of the days jay looks class and he says does mary get in the car at the end of thunder road. So miss laura. That is your question. Does mary get in the car at the end of thunder road. Okay so i actually hit some like thinking about this. And i and i have evidence to back me up so yes and it involved me using to run as evidence so from what. I've seen bruce. Row a lot about paris like in nebraska that was about. There were some songs about experiences with his dad. And it might me in a sort of led me to believe that like maybe the song could be about is parents and then moving to like you know how when bruce teen his parents moved to california with his little sister so night. It kind of makes me think that could be about that. And furthermore in pay on page one way of born to run. It says six months later in nineteen sixty nine at night. I stood in our driveway waiting as my parents and sister pamphlet away. They they had all of their belongings tax on top of their nineteen sixty rambler. They took three thousand dollars with them all the money they had. They slept the night in a motel and two nights in the car and drove three thousand miles east coast. Oki's headed for my father's promised land in on road. It says now tonight the case promised land. So maybe that's like the dad out. This might be some conspiracy theory stuff. But i don't know and then further more again. Page one thirty one. He then refers to it again and said it was my mom and pop coming to welcome their only son for their promised. Land and then the next section is called promised land which makes me think. Maybe mary's the mom and going to california is For right now tonight and the town foods kona eager to win. So i'd say yes. If that that's i'd say because of that guy. That is awesome. I think you know. And i am not surprised based on listening to us. Tell the stories of all the as you get on papers and projects so Thank you for doing the research and thank you for showing your work and citing sources Done no. I think that is perfect. I think that is crate Laura this has been a lot of fun. I hope you had fun. I i know you said you started out being a little nervous little better toward the end. Yes good that is my hope. You have been a wonderful guest. you are a. You're a great storyteller. You are passionate fan. And i don't want to sound condescending but The future springsteen phantom is in good shape as long as they are fans like you this generation so well yes Thank you so much for joining me. you know in any time you feel like talking or you feel like sharing. Just just reach out to me and say hey jazzy. Got an idea for an episode. I'd love to have you back. Okay okay very good. All right Hang tight. Why tell the it's goodbye. Listeners thank you so much for listening it means the world to me that you download the podcast and in listen and flees. Please take care of yourselves. Remember social distance. Wash your hands. Put on an f. in mask and let's be good to each other because you know things are tough out there and we all need a little more kindness so for now take care and we'll talk to you soon. Doing a podcast. That times can be a one way conversation. And i hate that so please let me know what you like. And don't like about the work. I'm doing you can reach the podcast via email at settling bruce jenner dot com. The show is on twitter at settlers. Bruce and my personal twitter is at jesse jackson. Dfw we have a website www set. Listen bruce dot com from there. You can find links to other springsteen podcasts as well as other music themed podcasts. We have a page devoted to our own. Selby all star band. These are guests. Who have been on podcast more than three times. 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bruce springsteen bruce Usa springsteen laura super bowl laura laura jesse laura murray Mary chapin Mary chapin motown neil carly simon frank sinatra rafi sara hickman Laura monica pitch berry richard carpenter Bruce Olivia newton john
Laura (1944) w/ special guest Raquel Stecher

Classic Movie Musts

56:28 min | 1 year ago

Laura (1944) w/ special guest Raquel Stecher

"I'm Max Baril and this is classic movie musts where every week we breakdown a classic movie looking to provide artistic insight and historical context at the very least we talk about what makes these movies classics. Classic Movie Must Releases Every thirty Friday ready to complement your weekend movie viewing plans. Thank you for joining me this week. As we discuss the auto premature film Noir Laura Laura in this episode during our feature presentation. We welcome back Raquel stature to the show to break down the myriad things. This film does so well but first let's get into this week's opening credits. Our film this week is Laura which was directed by Otto perimeter and was released in nineteen. Forty four Dr Laura Stars Dana Andrews Gene Tierney Clifton Webb and Vincent Price New York City Police Department detective Mark McPherson pherson played by Dana. Andrews is investigating the murder of a highly successful advertising executive. Laura Hunt play by Jean tyranny. Killed by a shotgun shotgun blast to the face just inside the doorway of her apartment he first interviews charismatic newspaper. Columnists Waldo lie decker played by Clifton Web and imperious effet Dandy who relates. How he met Laura and became her mentor she had become his platonic friend and steady companion and and he used his considerable fame influence and connections to advance her career? McPherson also questions Laura's parasitic playboy fiance shelby be carpenter played by Vincent Price. A kept man and companion to her. Wealthy socialite aunt and Treadwell Treadwell is tolerant of her nieces nieces infatuation with shelby apparently out of her practical acceptance of Shelby's need for the affection of a woman closer to his own age all the while. Wild treadmill is carrying on with carpenter and giving him money and finally detective McPherson questions. Laura's loyal housekeeper. Bessie through the testimony. Simoni of Laura's friends and reading through her letters and diary McPherson becomes obsessed with her so much so that lie decker finally accuses him of falling in love with with a dead woman. He also learned that lie. Decker was jealous of Laura's suitors using his newspaper column and influence to keep them at bay one night. That detective falls falls asleep in Laura's apartment in front of her portrait. He is awakened by a woman entering the apartment and is shocked that it is in fact Laura. She finds address in her closet which had belonged to one of her models. Diane redfern and McPherson concludes at the body. Assumed to have been Laura was in fact. redfern brought there by carpenter. Dr Laura was away in the country now it becomes even more urgent to unmask the killer at a party. Celebrating Lord's Return McPherson Arrests Laura for the murder of Diane redfern upon questioning her. He is convinced that she is innocent. And that she does not love shelby. He goes to search light ECKERD's apartment where oh he becomes suspicious of a clock that is identical to the one in Laura's apartment on closer examination he finds. It has a secret compartment. McPherson returns to Laura's apartment and lie decker is there and notices a growing bomb between Laura and the detective Lie Decker Insults McPherson and is sent away by Laura but pauses on the stairwell outside her apartment. McPherson examines Laura's clock and finds the shotgun that killed Diane. Laura is then confronted with the truth. That lie decker is the murderer. McPherson locks Laura into her apartment warning her to admit no one after he leaves lie decker emerges from another room and attempts to kill Laura saying that if he cannot have her no one can he is shot down by McPherson Sergeant who had told McPherson that lie decker had never left the building causing McPherson and two other policemen. c'mon to return to the apartment before dying lie deckers. Final words are goodbye. Laura Goodbye my love. Laura had a budget of just over one million billion dollars and it brought in over two million at the box office adjusted for inflation. That's a budget of just over fourteen and a half million dollars and a box office total of just over over twenty nine million dollars. Laura was nominated for five Academy Awards winning one. It was nominated for the awards for best art direction. Action best adapted screenplay best supporting actor for Clifton Webb Best Director for auto premature won the award for Best Cinematography for Joseph the shell now. Where's my quill dipped in venom? Because it's time for our feature presentation. Are you looking for a double dose of Classic Movie. must in your week then check out. Our Patriot exclusive show classic movie double feature. The show costs one dollar per month and releases every Tuesday to all patriots subscribers. The show is the same structure. These are normal show but for movies released from the year two thousand to the present and that I believe are destined to go down in the film books as classics. Not only that. If you're looking for a fun and carefree top five based show then check out. Our new patriotic exclusive show called maxes movie must. It's it's available for patrons at five dollars a month and every month you right in with a topic that you want me to come up with my top five films for you then get my top five five films on everything from my top five Rom coms to my top five foreign films and this month even top five Christmas movies you can get both Classic Ethic Movie Must Double Feature and Max movie must over on Patriot. PATRIOTIC ON DOT com slash. Classic movie must a huge. Thank you to our patron H.. Subscribers you really do make a world of difference and you make the show possible now. Let's get on over to our guest. Joining us for today's feature. chirp presentation is Raquel. Stecher the lead and founding writer of both out of the past movie blog and cal. MOVIES DOT COM. Tom Raquel welcome back to the show. Hi Max thanks for having me back absolutely my pleasure longtime listeners of the show will of course remember Raquel hell from her two great episodes. We've talked already about the setup which is episode forty seven and Sunrise episode sixty five now Laura Raquel. We're not exactly unlike a happy movie streak. I don't think and we broke the s theme. Ask films that we have an L. Film. You're absolutely right if you if you're also hoping for for a Peek behind the curtains. The first time you and I discussed you coming on the show we were. I had suggested Laura and I was immediately intrigued but but I just done an episode on anatomy of murder so I was like well. It feels too much to do to prem injures right back tobacco that you can never have too much pressure but now we finally get to return to to Laura. I'm very excited to have this conversation with you today. Yeah they decided to so I you know. This was one one of the movies that you I suggested to me. Where where do you like to start? The conversation with this with this film noir suspense thriller. I have to say this is something I bring up a lot. In conversation with people about classic movies specifically is because there's a lot of people out there who who pretend or say that the hey classic will and I show this to people or I recommend it to people and wins people over every single time. So if you have a skeptic in your life and you want to show them a great film that will am intrigued them and entertain them and we'll shock them a little bit especially with the great twist in the film. This is a great This is a great entry point into classic movies and also great film if you you want to explore the film nausea. I couldn't agree more and one of the strikes me about this movie. It's so it's so well done and at the the same time I don't think it necessarily stands out in the Canon of classic movies that we like to put on a pedestal. And I think it speaks so much to the Hollywood system of the Nineteen Forties Thirties through fifties. Really that you can say you have these fantastic actors. None of them. You know legendary gene dairy movie stars in in the sense of compared to some a director who is obviously a fantastic director but it's not necessarily his epitome hitting me film and this film is so just well crafted start to finish and it just kind of speaks to the constant churn of the Hollywood studio system them that you can come up with this movie. That is so well done but at the same time. It's just one of the next film in the cycle and what's great about it too is even though it exists in that In the Hollywood system in the studio era something a little different about it because one of the things I read about. Why auto premise really wanted to work on? Laura was the fact that it had a plot twist which was kind of unheard of it was just unique. Make an interesting would surprise audiences and also one great thing about this too is that The lot of leading ladies ladies turned it down But this was this was a role given to gene Tierney who is still up in comer and it meter huge star. You're so it's interesting that even though like it's called Laura and she's like the main character she has top billing. She's not in it as much as maybe another studio system film would have you know their their main star being like almost every single seeing. I mean there are times where we don't see her at all. She just the painting in the background so I think also it. If it's in that studio sit down but it also a little different from the rest absolutely right and I mean just speaking to the twist. I think speaking to so many of the things that we're GONNA probably get into in today's conversation in nineteen forty four. It's not like we're so deep into the on war style that were able to that you think most films are already kind of subverting conventions and playing with our expectations. But you're absolutely absolutely right. This twist is fantastic. One one that I'm sure we will break down fully and just in general so many kind of conventions of noir a really upending them and playing with our expectations of you know the normal convention because while this is your detective mystery that so much of Noir is based on. I don't think there is necessarily a out and out conventional choice made throughout the entire movie I think every character kind of stands against your typical war formula. Don't you agree. Yeah I think so too. I mean these these characters are very like the I mean the characters actors who are bad very comfortable with being themselves which is interesting but there's also no clear cut There's no clear There's no clarity in who is the villain and who is the the good guy you know like everyone is kind of a suspect. Is I like Mike how. It's just not clear cut and a lot of people especially when they look back a classic movies. Oh you have oh you have like this. This clear good guy is clear bad guy here. It's just all blended Linda together and that is something. Very typical of film noir is at the characters are kind of in a gray zone there are not on one side or another. They're kind of in between so. I think that works really well. And yet this is just Coast World War Two so it at the film noir genre or aesthetic Atika some people like to refer it for two. It's still brand new. Yeah I mean it's still really finding its legs but I think you getting into these characters. I love your point about the grey zone because we're kind of maybe discuss at the end of this episode but by the end of this film really no one. Is that likable. That say I mean. Everyone's kind of despicable in their own way. We'll get into that but even by nineteen forty four. If you think you know kind of noir has been going on in the early half of the nineteen forties I would think if I were an audience audience. I think probably what I thought the first time I saw this movie it's noir and it's called Laura so we're going to get a fantastic fem towel named Laura and she's going to take us on a ride and she's boy. She going to be playing with Poor Dana Andrews and she is in fact really. The only innocent person person in this movie is Laura and we already have this this kind of subversion of characters. I mean we don't we don't get a FEM fatale in this movie. We would get really one of the early early versions of an an omb fatale in in our good friend. Waldo lie decker. Who is really introduced in paths very similar way that we would expect them to be introduced in the TUB asking for you know a towel you know kind of slinging out of his you know? What does he refer to? It was his house. He says it's lavish but I call it home and it's so ridiculous but you know right off the bat. He takes that role of our traditional FEM fatale and catches catches you off guard. I think right off the bat in a way that you're you're not expecting him to be that kind of a character so we kind of trust him in a way that we shouldn't. I think I think yeah. I think that's a really great point. I hadn't thought of it that way. But what I really like about the Laura Hunt character like. You're saying she's not defensive Ital- family how might speak to the author Casper hope I'm pronouncing her name correctly. I mean this is because it's a story written by a woman this go the male. The female lead is very nuance. She's she has a lot of. She has a lot of complicit complexity she is a multifaceted character. There's there's like this natural vulnerability to her which is why everyone kind of wants to control her possess her? I mean everyone has this agenda there with her but she's also very versed. Strong person. You see this in the scene with weld ally decker when she meets him for the first time she's very brave even approaches 'em even though everyone else's scared to get his endorsement for their advertisement because he won't do it for anybody she ghost for it and there's one great scene later in the film where she says I think it was the android character detective McPherson and she. She's talking to him and he asked her not to leave the apartment and she leaves the apartment and meets with shelby. His who's played by Vincent Price and You know he catches her on that and brings it up later in conversations. She says I will not be bound by anybody. I believe I'm a firm believer in my free will. I just think that's so fascinating and makes her really complex female lead character totally agree with you and I love you. Bringing up the writer of the film and I think that combination with her script and premise. You're staying extremely true to it where you look across the board of this film. And it's I get I think about like a show like madmen. And showing the struggle of females trying to take rise through the career ranks and be taken seriously. And and that's set in you know fifteen twenty years after the fact and Laura here is you know she's a career woman and she's extremely successful and obviously it's implied implied that she has Waldo lie. Deckers help but I think that's debatable in its own right anyway given that he's the one who tells us about her backstory. It's something Eh. That whole flashback sequence. I think we can talk about in a minute. But across the board she. Laura is a strong willed character. Her aunt and and Treadwell again is a woman in control. I mean yes. They have this kind of rivalry over shelby. Carpenter it's kind of you kind of wonder what anyone sees him. I'm in the first place but the women are in control. And while as you put the men have these agendas we kind of see them. They all are kind kind of a step behind the women in this film and I love that you brought up and treadmill played by Judith Areas Anderson she that is one of my favorite characters in this movie and I don't think she's talked about an understated role absolutely she's got. She's a very strong minor character in the film She's a totally the red herring. You know like look to her before we look to the actual villain but yeah. She's very strong willed cheese. He's her aunt and she's like very much like control of her estate. You know at the beginning when we when we think that Laura is dead and and she's also got this. Yeah as you said the rivalry for shelby's For Shelby's attention. But I think there's this great line when she is with Laura Kind of towards the end and she's talking about how you know she. She is comparing her and herself to shelby and say were week. We're both capable of murder. And we understand it and one thing about her she. She didn't care she doesn't care. She accepts that she's bad and shelby's bad look those fascinating. There's just such interesting. She's such a she's is an interesting character because she's not a villain but she's not she's also kind of bad totally that that line that that kind of conversation sation between her and shelby towards the end of the film is so on points. As you're saying where these are these are not upstanding people and you're absolutely right. We totally look to an treadwell in that first interrogation where McPherson goes to her apartment and immediately. She's the first kind of suspicious person we come across and And so immediately we're like well. Okay so Laura's not the FEM fatale must be an treadwell. She's you know the one who's deceiving people and again it's really I like. I appreciate how even though you have this kind of three way. Love Interest Triangle. The with Laura and shelby the women never are really kind of betraying each other. The machinations are all kind of going on with the men and in many ways. Lauren and are both confident in what they have to offer. And it's that you have that scene between the two of them in Laura's bedroom it's you know it's so far from kind of I think the what wh- you expect going on between the interaction between these two quote unquote rivals to be an uber member and Niessen away and while they're both you know looking out in their own interest self interest they're not treacherous like these men are. It doesn't go to the cat like go to the territory of being added Atty. They're not caddy with each other. Kind of yeah. They both respect each other's Status in this kind of like social situation but yeah yeah I mean and understands that shelby is in love with Laura but understands too that she She and shelby Are you know a good fit together. In a way that she and Laura are not I mean shelby in lower. Not So yeah I I think you're you're spot on it doesn't go to. It doesn't become caddy between them their rivals. But there's also kind of mutual respect there absolutely I mean really and is kind of confidently playing the long game in this film and knows at some point. Shelby is gonNA come back around and he does in in the weakest way possible. I Love I mean I love the moment he it totally rebuffs her at the Party. It's so cold. He so arrogant but needs more Lauren. Exactly and then when he gets punched in the stomach by detective McPherson and she's there to comfort him in the way he's just starts kissing her hand. It's perfect it speaks speaks so perfectly to his character and her just knowing that that was coming all along but as you said in at the end of this film so many these characters are despicable and I I mean perhaps my favorite line of the film I dunno is detective McPherson saying you know I understand. You're innocent essentially to shelby but it should have been you. Who opened the door? You're you're innocent. You're not guilty of a crime but you're despicable human being and that is what these characters are. I mean so much of the film and let's not dance around March McPherson not exactly the most ethical police detective either even though he's our heroes hardly a Knight Titan Shining Armor. Yeah he's in a supposedly dead woman's apartment drinking away he gets way too emotionally involved with her her and he. You know sneaks into people's houses and he questions everybody's motivations he's like he's not he's not wholly holy good either and we can tell there's something he's like a rogue cop. I love those kind of characters like the police detective or just somebody the in a position of authority who kind of goes against the grain and does their own thing to solve a mystery. I just think that's really interesting rather than somebody who plays by the book. That's just boring. Yeah absolutely I mean it's already. I love his unconventional approach of seemingly taking all his witnesses or taking all his suspects along with him to interrogate the next person and just to understand very psychological man. He wants to see how all of these people interact together. Obviously makes a better movie as well. But you know he's he's I playing these people off of each other. But you know speaking to his infatuation with Laura as he becomes more obsessed with with her. I think it speaks again again to the script and it speaks to perimeter. Where there's A? There's so much subtext in this film and none of it hits you over the head playing with the gender kind of traditional gender dynamics. We've we've already discussed that. It's not the focus of this movie but it's kind of richly woven in and his and I totally agree and and but as well his obsession with Laura it's understated you know it really is Waldo lie decker. Someone who you know purports to have kind of this keen insight insight into people who finally puts it into words and I think we as the audience like we have a suspicion. It doesn't quite seem regulation as you say for him to be in her apartment min drinking all her alcohol and reading her diary but at the same time it's not out and out like he's like pining at her portrait either but all of a sudden he's been there in that room a long time and when lie deckers puts words to end. Says I understand that you put in an a bid on her portrait that we say oh like this is weird detected. McPherson has his own agenda here and it's not entirely. He's concerned with who the murderer is. But he's got other things going on and I love how it doesn't hit you over the head but when it does start to bubble up to the surface it's all the more eerie because of it. Yeah I mean. He's is in love with the painting and a dead woman at the beginning before we find out what's really happening and I think it's interesting to like. You said he's kind of downplaying it a little bit you know. It's not completely evident that he's falling in love with Laura and one thing. I think it's interesting between kind of the opposition between him him in Waldo Light Decker. Is that mark. Maguire McPherson Calls Laura Dame and Waldo hates that he brings that up several times. MM string the during the The whole movie up until almost the very end that that mark is just calling Laura a dame kind of diminishing her as a person by referring to this this does name and that's really important for Waldo character because Waldo says that a law is his creation creation that he built her up to be what she is in he has so much influence on her even to the objects in her apartment apartment all the antiques and in a way we see this In the opening scene in his lavish apartment that he calls home is he collects antiques. He collects pieces of art. Laurenti is another piece of art he collected and gave value to and mark. McPherson is diminishing her by calling in her name and almost like reducing her market value. That way so I think that's super interesting. How Waldo has this kind of over the top OP love for Laura but Marx's kind of you know a little more subtle and kind of like under the radar will bit? Yeah in many ways. It's kind of all all summer is right in the opening moments of this film when detective McPherson opens her his kind of a display case to hold this crystal peace. And he's like like you know tells him that no that's priceless. You can't have your hands on it. I mean yeah you're absolutely right. Laura is just another kind of priceless display item item that he hopes to put in one of his cases and and and mark is immediately drawn to it with a more hands on passionate. Love if you will than Waldo lie decker. who builds things up and trying to keep them for himself and that kind of brings us around to again? What I think is a understated sequence that I think you can read multiple ways if you if you so please and again speaks to kind of the the methodical nature of this film the rich nature of this film? It's not all it appears on the surface is the lengthy flashback sequence of Waldo. Lie Decker telling detective McPherson in about his relationship with Laura and how their first time they met their growing relationship. All of these things and it's it's portrayed on unlike much of the film it doesn't have nearly the aesthetic. It's shot much much more brightly. Much more traditional Hollywood their relationship is portrayed much more idyllic I love the scene when he tells he's recounting of this horrible story that that he wrote to defame the painter and she's reading it in bed chuckling to herself and it's kind of that moment where you start to say wait a minute. It's Waldo lie decker telling us about how all of this happened and how objective is he being in recounting. This flashback. How much of his own own ego is caught up in the events? where seeing you almost kind of yearn to hear Laura's side of the story because I don't think it's probably quite as has as rosy as weld ally decker makes it seem and one thing I had to say though just like to fit the lower perspective in there? I think it's interesting those opposite scenes where you have her approaching him for the first time and he's having lunch and he makes it clear that him having lunch is more important important that her existing you know and it's just so insulting and that's one of the I mean we start we've already developed a compassion for the Laura character as audience audience. Because we think she's dead at the beginning you know in all these. Were trying to figure out like who killed her and then we get this flashback. We realized that Waldo was really really a jerk to her at the beginning. And the next thing you see him kind of you know humbling himself going to her work Offering to Endorse her ad and then she just wants nothing to do with him until he basically gives her what she wants so I think that in itself is there something a little feminist about that like she. She was very brave. She approached them with his career opportunity. He turned her down and he comes straight comes to her because he's so charmed by her. She was the only person to approach him for this because she has this courage that other people don't have and that really charmed him. You know and then he just totally does like an about face so I thought that was really interesting within the flashback. Absolutely I think think you're absolutely right and but that's exactly I think. What makes the film so intriguing to me because everything you just said I totally agree with it and then at the same time part of me wonders when you look at preneurs films? He's so concerned with a certain juxtaposition or divide of objectivity and subjectivity subjectivity. And what how much can we truly rely on in terms of objective information. And you know we kind of buy into this narrative narrative that Waldo lie decker based on the version. He tells us really built up as you say he humbles himself. But it's this kind of magnanimous so I came in. I helped you because I realized I was a jerk and it really puts her success ultimately on his generosity Rossi and she's so kind of she's portrayed so plainly in a way during that restaurant seen her hat is low. She's is not dressed as as ornately and stylishly. As we see later in the film in some of the Party sequences. And it's like you know. She didn't have she really needed. The Waldo lie decker touch and I can't help but feel like you don't just inject people with confidence by being around someone like all the like I wonder like maybe she was well suited to a career success and she was already on the rise and we just kind of take those word for it and yeah think yeah. Sorry you'd be a great point because actually in the beginning of the film when Mark and Waldo are talking about Aldo's writings where he writes regularly about murder murderer He said that the the the latest murder story which was supposed to be at about a true story like a true story that happened? The heat change change the method of killing like it was. Yeah so we already know from the very Allen set that Waldo lie decker is a writer and a storyteller storyteller but a manipulator won't heal till change the change the truth will heal ads allies in there too for his benefit. It makes a better story. Yeah absolutely and he's so he's clearly not above that and that's I forgot about that. He tells us right upfront out now. I'm I'm willing to to play with the truth to suit my needs so in a long. Flashback sequence. I mean. You can't help you want Laura side of the story. We never fully get it but because of all the interogations that we experienced start to finish. I think we start to sense that everyone even though we don't know it yet. I feel like by the time Laura is reintroduced. Such an amazing twist. I did not see it coming the first time I watched this movie for better or worse but when she walks in the door I felt like I was was McPherson. What are you really here? Is this a dream. What's going on and at the same time at this point while the lie decker seems not exactly like a wonderful human being shelby. Carpenter is immediately off pudding and Treadwell is made to be suspicious right off the bat that when Laura a story doesn't immediately add up you throw her right in the mix of like well she's in on it somehow and and the film kind of struggles struggles with that from until the end until of course McPherson interrogates her and reveals. Unfortunately of course he goes to interrogate Laura to get information from her and he ends up giving her more information than she gives him by kind of revealing the he's in love with her. I love that. Love that interrogation sequence. Yeah and what. What I think is interesting about that? He says you know I'm ninety nine percent sure that you're innocent but that I have to squash that one percent of doubt That was a great line in and in one thing too is a lot of the events in the story happened at Laura's apartment and that's her space and I think it's interesting. 'cause they're at that party to kind of welcome her back from being dead or something no and he takes her out of that space and into his world at the at the The police station and he he. That's where he has the most control so I think it's just really interesting. How he just like draws her out? How so a lot of the story is? How much control can I assert over Laura? I mean shell shelby wants to marry her. You know Mark Mark wants to save her Waldo wants to possess her and even like you know even something like the character. Bessie the made. You know. She also wants control over Laura. She wants to control her story. She doesn't want the shoes want mark looking through her personal diary. She wants to take care of of Laura so I just think it's interesting. How hell yeah like? All the character is try to exert some control over her because they all WanNa possessor yeah. You're absolutely right Bessie as well well. You're absolutely she's she's constantly trying to protect Laura's such a good point in trying to kind of make make the evidence fit a story that makes her look hurlock innocent and maybe point the direction and you know even bessie kind of trying to manipulate things to be like who she thinks might have done it and kind of pointing it in Shelby's direction in and you mentioned it earlier. The scene when McPherson tells her not to leave the apartment. I love compared to a lot of noir films. How how kind of procedural this film is in a lot of it's detective work? You know the you you know it to no real end. But you see how these men are tailing everyone you know. It's not just McPherson. We learn about the phone tapping all of this stuff. There's kind of a nice prelude to the police procedural but when when she then goes and does meet with shelby. Obviously our suspicion is peaked and the scene of McPherson following shelby. Out to the country to me. This scene is like when this film wins. It's Best Cinematography Academy award because this is like full full on storm. It's like rewatching the film. I think my heart is still racing expecting for this scene to end up with somebody dying in it and of course it doesn't really happen that way but it is so tense through that scene. Do you agree. Yeah I say that scene and then look what you mentioned earlier. There interrogation irrigation scene. Where the bright lights shining Laura's face oh those those two scenes are just absolutely film noir and just so much fun to watch? Yeah Yeah Yeah. That's a great point as well as the interrogation sequences. Such how many how. Many films noir with someone's face in the in the bright lights of a police interrogation room home and she is one of the few characters whose again to your earlier point strong willed enough to say like. Can you please turn off the lights like this seems unnecessary. I mean what are the great things about her character inserted. Go on this kind of like rand. But it's what I what I love about. Her character is that not only do this. Everyone wants to possess her She's just this might be because you know we're not getting her story we're getting it from Waldo and we're getting it from these other characters tres. Is that no one really knows fully anything about her like we know some of her story. But we don't know the full picture and no one can really possess Laura and we are lusting after her just like everyone else is we are. We are in trance. We are intrigued creed. We want to know more about her. But she's kind of held a little bit at a distance which makes her even more appealing. It makes us want to possess her more. Yeah I think it's just something so interesting that they did with her character that if they had maybe flushed out her story a little more Or told us told told it from her perspective. You know and not wall does where we get kind of this other Avenue into her story. That made me. She wouldn't have been as intriguing. Yeah I think that's I think that's absolutely great point the fact so much of what we were so desperate for the puzzle pieces to kind of fall into place that and as you say she's been just a painting on the wall to us until this moment And we get glimpses into her home but we don't really understand who she is. I don't I think we understand that much more about her by the end. There's something very appealing in that. I think we have. The broad strokes of this is a successful strong willed woman. But we don't really know what makes her tick. I love at the end. You know Waldo coming in to try and murder her at the end I mean frankly. She saves herself in the end as well. Well she is not faced with the wrong end of a double barreled shotgun. She does not run away she runs to Waldo and makes makes him miss his own shot. Yes and there's something incredibly courageous in that final act that she is. She saves herself and As much as mark McPherson wants to save her he neither prevents Waldo from shooting. Nor does he kill. Does he killed this other. The sergeant that kind of you know points to the reminds us by the end of this film. This movie's called Laura. It is not detected McPherson and is not mark and and You know she's the one who's going to continue on a far more interesting life and you you know yes. There is a mile the romance between the two. But I don't think you under this film really leading us to believe that these people are destined to be together either and it was a great scene between mark and Laura is it's windy. He goes and brings her breakfast Because supposedly like he caught while he caught her leaving and she didn't buy food so he she. She knows that he needs a that. She needs food so he brings her like eggs and Bacon and asked her to make coffee and In the conversation turns to weather she can cook are not and she says that she was always interested in being a career woman and her mother always was is trying to teach her a new recipe. So I think it's interesting that she chose not the gender norm For a woman at that time to kind of you know oh just get married and be a housewife like. She chose a career for herself. So she's just like a very it's she's a different character. I think that's what makes her so interesting. Yeah I agree and I think it speaks to a lot of what we've been discussing in the sense that I don't think this film hits you over the head with that theme theme to the Yes. It comes up in lines of dialogue like you just mentioned or in kind of the characters not taking on their usual archetypes. But you're not like oh man. I'm really like this movie's really trying to make a point. It's you know first and foremost this film is concerned with having a very suspenseful intriguing storyline. I mean it is a fantastic suspense thriller. But it you know it's so richly kind of weaves these other other themes in that you you leave with it and it feels extremely authentic right. I mean it doesn't feel as though this film is trying to. Hey you know. Make a point or leave you. Oh really that movie really made me think about other things. No this is a story. Filled with intriguing characters and and each of these characters is very richly depicted and by the end. You say wow I. A lot of my expectations were wrong. And then at the same time by the end you're like how did I just immediately know it was Waldo lie decker right like all the clues had he just been had it been the woman from the beginning and he been a more typical typical FM SEATTLE. I think we would have all seen it coming. And you realize just the slightest subversion and can really play with your expectations and your enjoyment of the film and I think it hits home all the harder because of it. There have been a couple of times that I've watched this film been like Oh ended it and I completely forgot the Waldo did it and then it surprised me so I mean I've seen it many times since but like it. Yeah it's a big surprises. Even on repeat viewings. I like what you said about the characters because has the characters are just so spot on there so well done and they are perfect for their actors. I think some people have said that gene Tierney was it. Wasn't that great an actress but I think she's perfect for the role of Laura because she has that She has that like natural actual beauty and natural vulnerability but also sort of strength because even though she's very young she's already gone through some life. Struggles you know at at that point in her life so she's kind of world-weary but she's also vulnerable so she said she's got this natural complexity herself that made her perfect for Laura Dana Dana Andrews is just absolutely amazing as mark McPherson kind of like this emotionally reserved but still emotional character to because he's so invested in this mystery in and Laura and then I mean like Clifton Webb will also always be Waldo lie decker I mean can you imagine somebody else playing that role. I mean. He's just perfect for it. And then Vincent Price I mean this is a role that he's not some people who know him from his like horror days in the nineteen eighteen seventies. We'll be like what that's inside price. But I think he's so interesting because he's so tall and brawny and he's like the he he had a looms over the other male characters in the all kind of represent a different type of masculinity and he's kind of like the Tall Brawny Ronnie character and mark is You know he's. He's kind of the strong authority figure who is also kind of vulnerable and then Waldo is just like kind of rich uppity manipulator so the oldest but they all work for the characters. So it's just like a perfect marriage marriage between actor and character. I just love how they're paired. Yeah I mean Agana to me it speaks to Hollywood Studio System Running as a Well oiled machine sheen that you say you know you have all of these actors at your disposal but how do you pair them to really work off well off of each other and this is a prime example of it because I do think think this movie is so rooted in its characters and it wouldn't work if you had actors who weren't well suited to play off each other. I agree with you totally so so well done. I love your point. About how Vincent Price Can you just kind of looms over people. And he said he fronted in the movie right. He's like people people just assume I'm guilty of things because of my demeanor how I am. And he's right like you do kind of like. Oh this guy feels like he's probably guilty and at at the same time the film kind of plays it just plays with our expectations so well that at the beginning we think perhaps walled ally rely decker is seems like a fairly journalist. He's well quaffed and all of these things. This oath is not in of course by the end. It's the reverse and we see that Shell Carpenter is not guilty. But he's gross and and and we should have known that Waldo like decker. Last last name has lying right in the titans. We should've seen it coming. But you know these are richly kind of crafted characters. And I love your point about Laura being kind of. She's vulnerable and yet strong at the same time I love you. Know she comes back home defined a man in her apartment and then discovers that a murder took place there and she is both overwhelmed. But very kind of resilient zillion at the same time and it speaks to it speaks to this strong woman that we have come to know in her broad strokes you know I like to compare her character to Daisy from DC Buchanan from the Great Gatsby Because she is someone that I'm Jay Gatsby is trying to possess but she's just she kind of holds back and she's not she. I mean he feels it feels like she like he's he's getting somewhere with her. Then it we find out that really never gonNA happen but one thing about DC candidate. She's very difficult character for an actress actress to play pretty much every actress. Who has played her has been criticized for not being right for the part? Because daisy is so much the downfall of Jacob's beat that we don't understand You know we have to have somebody who is believable in that role but I I think is interesting too. Is Laura similar. Not the same but similar and Gene Tierney just pulls it off really well. She almost could've played. Daisy Buchanan herself. Yeah I think This there's we look at her through the painting and then when she when she is physically there we see it. We understand why everyone John is obsessed with her. You know like we get it like were kind of obsessed with her too. I just think something about that. It's like A. It's like an x factor. There's something that works wchs with this actress that just made it made it all come together so well said Yeah. I mean this movie on its surface. It wants to make this murder mystery and then you realize I mean this really is a movie about this personality that everyone is drawn to as you say that everyone wants to possess you realize that we're kind of just as guilty of it as all the characters in the movie. And that's I think the testament of a well-made well-crafted film that it can kind of project onto the viewer were it's the same dynamic that's going on onscreen and reflects a special special film in the end. What Raquel anything else you'd like to discuss about Laura? I have to say I love the set for like it's a great use of objects in film in a film home Just first of all the painting. The painting is up fairly high on the over the Mantel. It's Laura looking down on everybody body. It's a beautiful painting are is drawn to it a lot. There's almost like a halo of light around her head. Almost making her look like a ghostly. Spirit that's watching watching over them. It's really interesting. It also plays her for a good amount of the beginning of the film so I thought that was really interesting and from mode I understand Rouben. Mamoulian was the first director and his wife had done an actual painting for it but then with auto premature took over. I think they scrap that painting and then they took a picture of her and beat. It looked like a painting so it looks very much like gene tyranny and I thought that was a great use of an object in a film film and then also the grandfather clocks really interesting and very key to the plot because Walled ally decker has to has a pair of them mm and he gives one to Laura and that's one way he's controlling her because we find out later that's where he hides the shotgun where when he thought he was killing Laura is he hid it in the base of the grandfather clock and that becomes key to mark McPherson solving the mystery he he and I just thought it was super interesting and then the last shot of the film I believe is is the After while delight decker is shot. You see that the the grandfather clock is destroyed as well So that was interesting that lake this object that he used to control Laura Becomes destroyed when he's destroyed saw. It just thought that was really interesting and then I love to that little game that Dana Andrews is using the mark plays with. It's like the Little Baseball Games Ames and he says that it requires a lot of control and it calms his nerves. I just thought that was just a subtle use. Something that spoke to Hugh Marks Personality as somebody who isn't authority and wants to Have Control but also tries to control his own emotions. It's very much controlling his emotions this entire time and it. They're at risk of you know. He's at risk of losing that control because of Laura herself you're out you're absolutely right so great you're one hundred percent correct and I love because I always instruct at the beginning when he first when we first see that little baseball game and it comes off often is like almost this level of kind of Sam spade indignant where he's just like you're not even interesting enough for me to pay attention to so I'm GONNA play my little game. Mm over here and you think it's extremely disrespectful. And then when he does reveal that you know takes a lot of control and it's in the way we see him kind of almost turn into it as as kind of like a safety net as the film goes on. And it's it's we think of him as this totally in control character your typical because kind of noir hero anti hero who may be seeing things to three steps ahead and you realize well or does he needed this kind of safety blanket of like okay. Calm down just be in control and he has a device. But it's you know to me. I think that that little as you say it's such an excellent singular device and I think it shows so much about about his character and how it kind of how we perceive him over the course of the film and again to your point about the the grandfather clock I think it's in the opening monologue the made reference to the grandfather clock. We certainly see it time and again we we see weld ally decker say like I'm you know I want my grandfather clock back. I'm going to come and get it and at no point until the very enderle like well that's GonNa be key to this mystery right but then at the same time when it is revealed will of course it was the grandfather clock. I Love uh-huh that's kind of overt like you know okay. Well that object is gonNA come up later because that it'd be put too much attention to it but it's more subtle in this film. You don't know no it's actually going to be a big part of the plot until later and as you said it's like Oh yeah well of course it finds that right balance where it draws enough attention to it that you you're very aware of it and at the same time you don't suspect it and I think that speaks to the film across the board right. I mean it just knows how to play. Its audience AH correctly. I think it speaks to premature sophistication as as a director to really say. I understand kind of how audiences are going to come into this film and I know how to walk the tightrope into getting them right where I want them to have an excellent twist. Have the emotional payoff in the end. It's it's really quite something and I would be remiss not to talk about David risking score. Which I it's considered one of the best in film and also I thought it was interesting? I read a story that a lot of actresses turned down the role. Hetty Lamar turned it down of Laura Jennifer Jones Jones and Rosalind Russell. They were all offered the part and they turned it down because there wasn't enough screen time for the actress. I thought that was interesting. But I think hetty Lamar said that. Oh they sent me the script score score. It just adds so much to the film and and I think vincit prices also mentioned it in interviews after the film. That like They they made the movie. They didn't think like great things about it. I thought it it was a good film but anything great things until they watched it with the score and they were completely sold on their own film. I thought that was really interesting. That music can be so uh-huh powerful in delivering drama like this. Yeah I mean music is I love the I mean especially the scene when mark is kind of roaming her apartment. Before Laura's or is finally revealed to us the music crescendo in such a way I mean it's so tense but yeah again speaking to you know. Obviously there were lots of things wrong with the Hollywood studio system and it's not treat necessarily everyone fairly but it allowed these studios to have masters of their various area crafts at their disposal. And you get some really special films as a result and absolutely it's kind of what makes this the Hollywood they would studio systems such a fascinating era to pick through and pick through its films pick through a film that as you say that the actors could come out of it and say well that was just another film. I made not necessarily anything particularly special. And then at the same time then they watch it and say you know you can see all the other crafts that come to bear in making the film come together and you say well. That's actually. I can't believe I was in that. I was so special at the that's true. Well Raquel this was awesome as always you are a pleasure to have on the show. Why don't you tell our listeners? What's going on in your on your various blogs? Thank you so much. This was a lot of fun and if anyone wants to talk about classic movies they can find my blog out of the past out of the past blog dot com. I also have a youtube channel and facebook page for that that I'm on twitter a lot. Just my name at Raquel Stitcher and I love to talk about classic movies in new movies on there and I also have an instagram called at cal movies which Also is the name of my new movie site cal. MOVIES DOT COM. Thank you absolutely check out her sites. You are a a wealth of information on both classic movies and newer movies alike so you listeners by all means check out recalls work Raquel. Thank you so much for coming on and I look forward to your return in the future. Yes absolutely thank you so much. That concludes our episode on Laura. I would love to hear what you think of this. Classic Movie Must Feel Free To tweet at movie. Must Pod or email classic movie must at gmail.com email dot com. You can listen to all our episodes on our website as well as learn more about the show at classic movie must dot Com. You can support the show and get access to classic movie must double feature as well as Max's movie must over on Patriots Fan. You can also become a producer of the show. Just like Don Hoffman Lee. Eleanor B the Max. Thank you all so much for your generous patronage checkout alert Patriots Support Tears and their awards at Patriotic Dot com slash classic movie must remember episodes. Release every Friday on all podcast services. Thank you so much for listening until the next episode. Keep up with your classics six.

Laura Laura detective McPherson Waldo decker Laura shelby murder Laura Kind bessie kind Mark McPherson Laura Hunt Laura Dana Dana Andrews Hollywood Mark Mark Dana Andrews Laura Raquel Treadwell Treadwell Party Dr Laura Stars Vincent Price
Thursday, August 27, 2020

NBC Nightly News

22:34 min | 9 months ago

Thursday, August 27, 2020

"Tonight the deadly destruction from historic Hurricane Laura Laura making landfall in Louisiana as a category four one of the most powerful ever to hit the US at least six killed windows blown out of skyscrapers, homes and buildings collapsed cars crushed the riverboat casino breaking loose lodged under a bridge tonight hundreds of thousands without power and the new crisis in the storm zone. The chemical plant inferno, a massive plume of smoke residents ordered to shelter in place the identity of the officer who shot Jacob Blake revealed violent protests spreading to other cities and the seventeen year old accused of killing two people in the unrest in Kenosha, the interview tape with a suspect before the shooting. The historic boycott all tonight's NBA playoff games postponed after the walkout over Jacob Blake the protests catching on in other leagues. The final night of the RNC president trump using the White House for his acceptance speech the I look at what he'll say Joe Biden one on one how he's responding to Nancy Pelosi's call not to debate the president. And the CDC chief walking back controversial changes to cove it testing guidance what he now says about who should get tested This is NBC nightly news with Lester. Holt. Good evening everyone a storm raging shore with more power than Katrina. Her Laura delivered a shattering and deadly blow to the Gulf coast early today one, hundred, fifty mile per hour wind sending trees toppling onto homes. A floating Sinoe knocking out power while leaving a chemical industrial fire in its wake. The Lake Charles Louisiana area taking the worst storm arriving is a powerful category four. There have been at least six storm related deaths are teams covering it all and Morgan Chessy leads our coverage. This morning daylight revealing lures path of destruction. It looks like a bomb exploded does all over the city it looks like a bomb exploded reefs ripped off homes trees uprooted. The deadly storm scoring coastal Louisiana broke out walls came into. The category four hurricane struck overnight tearing through towns with winds topping one hundred, fifty miles an hour, and after flipped trucks off the road and like Charles where Laura's destructive. I will tactic the storm shredding tire buildings in a few seconds skyscrapers scrapers going not good. No a terrifying night for those who chose to stay behind I'm thinking they apartment building. There's no follow on top because you hear stuff knocking against the brick Laura's devastating winds didn't just rip through building after building but also took down vital communication knocking out cell phone sites like this all across the city. Chris Watson. The only call he needed was to friends to help him clean up his home damaged his car total. There's so much damage here you've you're going. This is this is a disaster area. You know the literal disaster, I mean the recovery time from Mrs GonNa be phenomenal yet despite the devastation today brought the realization lower could have been much worse with most people here spared from any massive flooding we're thankful we didn't get more storm surge than we did in Texas to a sigh of relief when you consider The magnitude of the damage that could have occurred here. We did Dodge a bullet back in Louisiana. No one will soon forget I'm just glad that we are all alive. That's it and tonight damage totals are still being calculated but you can see the extent of the destruction behind me and realize just how long road of recovery lays ahead of this community determined move on even if it takes years to do so. Less. All Morgan. Is it that wasn't enough in the storm zone tonight another crisis unfolding a raging inferno burning after a leak at a chemical plant their residents ordered to shelter in place we get more on that now from Katie Beck. Hours after Hurricane Laura ripped through. Lake. Charles daybreak brought another ominous site. I don't even thinking. A nearby chemical plant engulfed in a raging fire visible for miles creating a balloon of black smoke that until roads were closed, passing drivers had to navigate through and a health hazard for the thousands who live in the area all under order to shelter in place, they need to be on the inside their home with the doors and windows closed. And the air conditioning off if they're lucky enough to have electricity has made an emergency crews responded to the inferno at Biolab in Lake. Charles which manufacturers pool supplies a statement from the company that owns the facility says the fire was caused by chlorine gas leak as the hurricane tour through overnight hours as this type accord because they compose, it generates heat. And it began to burn releasing chlorine gas into the atmosphere. No one was working in the plant due to a pre hurricane shutdown. The CDC warns high exposure to chlorine can be dangerous and lead to serious respiratory illness. Now is not the time to go sightseeing. I'm appealing to everybody in Louisiana. Don't get out on the Road Leicester We know up to twenty thousand residents live in the area impacted by today's fire and fumes. It's tough to know the exact number still here because many evacuated ahead of the storm. Lesser or a Katie thanks and more than five hundred, thousand people in fact were ordered to evacuate before the storm but a number chose to remain in endure the dangerous night in their homes. Some had concerns about corona virus shelters Sam Brock spoke with those who rode out the storm. Families across Texas. Tonight up rooted by a category four hurricane after opting to ride out the storm. Why did you stay home? Because we had trouble getting back in here whenever her. Rita come through and I swore I'd never leave again after that the crack trees and splintered roofs last night and harder crash, and of course, this oak tree is in the Middle House destroying homes but not shaking foundations we'd. Do many in the last twenty years the. Anyway We will rebuild. We always do they battened down their property as in past arms but this one bore a new threat corona virus being in a large shelter large building with lots of people It was a huge factor in my thinking of evacuating Arado young also says, he couldn't afford to evacuate the five year. Marine Corps veteran has tied up his life savings in a yoga and jujitsu Jim. He just opened last week along with this fellow veteran partner Tyler Pete. The pair weren't sure what they find how relieved were you when you walked up here and saw that your Jim is still intact it was insane I. It was I walked in and it was literally like a someone had taken a forty apparent play off my shoulders extremely relieved I could probably kiss him, I. Hope Shining through a frightening storm. As, you can see some of the homeowners and Loris paths were not as fortunate having to start the rebuilding process now under a cloud of covid nineteen and economic uncertainty Lester. All Right, Sam thanks for bringing that story to us. Also tonight, another big story, the name of the officer who shot Jacob Link now revealed as violent unrest spreads to other cities, and we're learning more tonight about the teen accused of fatally shooting two people during the protests in. Kenosha. Gave Gutierrez is there. After days of unrest now National Guard troops from Arizona Michigan and Alabama are heading to Kenosha Wisconsin even though last night's protests here were peaceful those are not federalized. Troops there here on state active duty authorities are trying to keep order in the wake of Jacob Blake Shooting Wisconsin's attorney general who's leading the investigation identified the officer who fired at Blake Seven. Times rusted chassis has been with the Department for seven years before the shooting investigator say chassis and other officers responding to a domestic incident unsuccessfully tried to tasers. Blake this video shows a struggle ECI agents. That's a division of criminal. Investigation. Recovered a knife from the driver's side floorboard of Mr Blake's vehicle responding today an attorney for plates family argues that's a distraction witnesses reported that Jacob had no knife in his hand as the police tried to suggest try to justify. Justifiable use of excessive force. The anger over blake shooting is the latest flashpoint in summer of exploding tensions over race and policing. Overnight demonstrations turned violent in Oakland and Los Angeles. Meanwhile, we're getting more about the Illinois teenager accused of killing two protesters earlier this week in Kenosha. Seventeen year old kyle. Rittenhouse as online footprint appears to show a strong support for law enforcement. Public defender at declined to comment but before the shooting Rittenhouse explained, why was aren't? Protect his business art my job. There's somebody heard I'm running into harm's way. That's why. Here, in Kenosha, the downtown has been at a virtual standstill that many of these border buildings are now being painted with messages of hope, a nightly curfews in effect here, the release Sunday Lester. All right. Thanks very much. It's the final night of the Republican National. Convention. After vice president's fiery rebuke of Joe Biden. Last night president trump is set to speak at the White House and a major break from tradition NBC's Halley Jackson with I look at his message. President trump at a fema briefing on Hurricane Laura confirming the show will go on for his remarks accepting the Republican nomination his convention closing out at a time of crisis on top of crisis from the storm to the pandemic to the unrest in Wisconsin is tonight an appropriate time to have a political celebration. The country's doing very well economically we're on a V. IT could even be a super v. Aides say the president's expected to mention those struggling after the hurricane announce his administration is buying one hundred, fifty million rapid cova tests and reference the reaction to the police shooting of a black man in Wisconsin to highlight his support for law enforcement according to advance excerpts the president will both praise a towering American spirit and argue at no time before have voters faced a clearer choice blasting Joe. Biden for quote, the most extreme set of proposals ever put forward by a major party nominee that warning echoed by Vice President Mike Pence. Last night, you won't be safe in Joe Biden's America pence never mentioning the name of Jacob Blake who police shot in Kenosha, but using the unrest that followed to boost his law and order argument insisting Joe Biden has not called out violence forcefully enough maybe cleared. The violence must stop whether in Minneapolis Portland or Kenosha. We will have law and order on the streets of this country for every American of every race and creed and color. The vice president laying out with the campaign sees as the central choice this election it's. Not so much whether America will be more conservative or more liberal. More Republican or more Democrat. The choice in this election? is whether America remains America and the campaign hoping to reach suburban women, voters featuring personal stories from high profile women. In the President's orbit I have seen firsthand many times. The president comforting and encouraging. A child who has lost a parent. A parent who has lost a child don't lose hope he has told them. Assuring them that they are not alone. And that they matter. Tally joins us. Now at Halle, the president will be speaking before a live audience. Correct. Yeah of about a thousand people or so lesser you can see the setup already on the South Lawn there does not appear to be social distancing with these seats of the campaign says they are taking what they call proper protocols. The campaign hopes to end the evening with the display of fireworks over the Washington Monument Lester Freud Halloween after a week of attacks at the RNC Joe Biden and running mate Khama Harris hitting back by Nossa responding to a call from Nancy Pelosi and not even bothering debating president trump he spoke one on one with Andrea Mitchell. After Republicans blamed him all week for violence including in Kenosha Joe Biden and Common Harris Fighting back today finding responding vice president. Mike Pence. Saying you won't be safe in Joe Biden's America. The probably have right now is we're in Donald. Trump's Americ-? Looking for more violence in disruption because it helps them politically he uses as a political benefit to him. You know he's rude for more vile, not less and as clear about that, and what's he doing just kept pouring gasoline on the fire sh this happens to be donald trump's merrick. You think the president of the United States is rooting for the violence because he thinks it helps him politically. I think he does a political benefit by the way I condemned violence in any form whether it's looting or whatever it is or who's who's rooting for the violence here. Biden also said the biggest safety issue is people dying from Cova and what he called pressure on the scientists on testing an therapies possibly on vaccines or did you ever see any administration puts pressure on the FDA? Bows to what is sky does and his team is. We should listen to the scientists how concerned are you that they're going to rush something out even before Election Day and I pray to God that would happen tomorrow that'd be wonderful but the fact is. Really, do get a vaccine that works and how much credibility or have telling people to take it after going through all this stuff that they've misrepresented so far. Commodore Harris also punching back with Craig Melvin for the today show the American. PEOPLE REGARDLESS OF RACE OR GENDER OR AGE geographic location have a right to believe that their leaders will speak truth even when these are difficult truths after Nancy Pelosi. Joked that Biden should not debate the president because the president doesn't tell the truth she said Biden told me he will be at the debates but we'll have to fact check the president while Debating Lester Selby, Co anchoring our prime time coverage of the RNC. Tonight beginning at ten eastern and Seymour Craig Melvin interview with Kamala Laris Tomorrow on today. We're back in sixty seconds with the confusion over the CDC's Cova testing guidelines after a controversial change with the CDC chief is now saying about who should get tested. Hey, everyone it's Chris. As you know these days I find it helpful to just take a step back from the day to day onslaught of news and take a broader look. The issues I haven't had time to cover on my TV show all in everything from the legacy of racism in America to how community and creativity can flourish. It's pandemic to how Democrats could win deep. Red America, do it each week on my podcast wise is happening and I'm joined by uniquely qualified gas like Pulitzer Prize winning reporter Nicole Hannah Jones progress does not mean justice or equality or that we are right after four hundred year of black. People being in this country time remarking incremental progress in patting ourselves on the back of that has been long over author Rebecca Solnit, how do we take curve each other in the context of not being able to physically be with each other in ordinary ways crooked media's Jon favreau. It's going to be the highest turnout election in history, which means that it is a persuasion game and many others who helped me make sense of what's happening in our society and our world I really enjoy our conversations. I hope you to join me for new episodes. Every Tuesday. Just search for wise's happening wherever you're listening right now and subscribe. The meet the Press Chuck Todd Cast. It's an insider's take on politics the twenty twenty election and more candid conversations with some of my favorite reporters about things. We usually discuss off camera. Listen for free wherever you get your podcast. Tonight the CDC is walking backwards new guidelines on who should be tested for corona virus after an outcry from public health officials are Thompson has the latest. Pummeled by criticism today, the CDC clarifying the new kobes testing guidelines in a statement saying testing may be considered for all close contacts of confirmed or probable covid nineteen patients walking back yesterday's recommendation still on the CDC website that people exposed to covid. But without symptoms do not necessarily need a task, I think this is a black eye. For the CDC Doctor Tom Freidan led the CDC under president, Obama we control Kobe. By, doing less testing testing is bedrock if essential to finding the virus and stopping chains of transmission at. And Care in New York City. Dr Jake Deutsche says currently three quarters of those who test positive here don't have symptoms I actually recommend that everybody who thinks they need to get tested gets tested its peace of mind for Aaron. Robinson. Before she travels I wanted to make sure that I didn't have anything I will be bringing anything with me I guess basically some states are going their own way to I don't. AGREE WITH THE NEW CDC Guidance Period Full Stop. California planning to double its testing capacity as it joins a dozen other states define the CDC. So who decides who gets a test? Dr? Friedman says ultimately, that's a local health department decision but the CDC should have a clear recommendation nearly six months into the pandemic. Lester Thompson and thanks still ahead tonight champions for change pro teams pausing play in a historic call for justice. We're back now with the growing movement and pro sports athletes refusing to play and demanding justice following this week shooting of a black man by a Wisconsin police officer what started in the NBA now spreading to other leaks. Miguel. Almaguer has the latest in for a second night. The NBA's quiet courts speaking volumes as players pas the playoffs again before a reported agreement too soon, resume games the act of protest after the shooting in kenosha comes as players from Milwaukee Demand Wisconsin legislators act on police reform a cause bigger than the game has been no action. So, focus today cannot be. Finding power in their platform on a night when millions watch and hundreds of millions of dollars are spent on advertising and Broadcasting Rights. The message became a movement around the sporting world we need to understand that. When most of us go home, we still are black players in the WNBA. Out Jacob Blake on their shirts with seven bullet holes in their backs soccer tennis hockey and Baseball Games canceled across the nation different arenas but the same fight I think the most difficult part is to see like. People still don't care his shows just a hate him people's heart. In the black million Americans. These athletes turning to activism in a new era. What you're seeing in general is probably the largest most widespread day of sports activism that our country has ever seen. Soon, the Games will go on as the NBA shoots for Change Miguel Almaguer NBC News. We'll take a short break when we come back the woman who has survived to pandemics cherish her secret to a happy life. We're GONNA close tonight with a birthday party for a woman born in nineteen eighteen on babs as live through two pandemics and is full of advice. Here's Harry Smith. If. It looks like babs Ms. Rookie knows how to wear a crown it doesn't surprise her family to them. She is royalty we love her to death. babs turned hundred into this week. I'm seventy five and still holding court. She has more stories than anybody you ever seen in your life summer not true. So true some get exaggerated but boy she a lot of fun to. As A child of immigrants born into a pandemic through years thick and thin a witness to history and an optimist I had a confidence that the country will be fine. Everything will be good. Because I was told that would be my father. Told me my mother told me my friends. Tell me. That was FDR for the record. In the game of life making it to a hundred requires luck love and most likely a twinkle in your eye. Getting Coca. Chips have, fun. have. Fun, and enjoy. It it's it's a good life. It's worth. Suffering four and living for. Life as good and that part we do believe. Harry Smith NBC. News. Some reassuring words we could stand here. babs happy birthday that's nightly news. Join us for our special coverage of the final night of the R. N. C. Beginning at ten P. M. Eastern. Thank you for watching everyone. I'm Lester Holt please continue to take care of yourself and each other. I'm Tremaine league host of into America a podcast from MSNBC join me as we go into the roots of inequality and economic injustice and racial injustice, and then when you add health is a health injustice into what's at stake people are going to be voting not for a person but forced to bill and into what comes next into America a podcast about who we are as Americans, and who we want to become new episodes, every Monday Wednesday and Thursday subscribe now.

president CDC Joe Biden Kenosha Jacob Blake America hurricane Louisiana Nancy Pelosi Wisconsin vice president RNC officer Lester Holt NBA Laura Laura NBC Morgan Chessy Hurricane Laura United States
Judging Others

This Is Why You're Single

40:14 min | 6 months ago

Judging Others

"This is a head gum podcast. This is why this why false culture politics friendship dating work. Parenting news. This is the podcast. Welcome to the. This is why podcast journalist author comedy writer. Laura lane and i'm author and editor angeles sparrow near the covert the book. This is why you're single. Every week we give best friend advice. On topics including pop culture. News friendship dating workplace amex parenting. And whatever else is on your mind. This week's episode is called judging others. We'll be answering your listener questions including one listener who has to take extra precautions dates because she's diabetic and another who wants advice on how to tell people to wear a mask. I think you just tell them like. Can you please put your mask on. But i don't know if you don't wanna get punched in the face. I guess then we're talking about what's in the news. There may be a coyote. Ugly sequel in the works and more jobs are prioritizing mental health. All both are great. Great things to talk about. But they're great for my mental health. Yeah exactly but i angela. How are you feeling this week. I am feeling a little freaked out because here in new york we. We were doing good for a long time. In terms of cases krona virus in our sort of ran the fall. There's talk of a second wave which like logically. I knew we all knew this is going to happen. There would be a spike. But it's definitely freaking me out I'm starting to have nightmares again. I had a nightmare the other night that my nose was running and i was like around people and i was exta way. I a monster. Don't touch me. I could get on you So we'll talk us scary. Because you and i live in brooklyn where there's been big big little and there's been like all these different parts of brooklyn. Which are i don't know about you but rate near me. Yes where there had been like up to like eight percent of tests coming back positive which is not good because at one point in new york it was down to one percent exactly so it does feel like a peak or does feel like a wave. I mean And it is scary. And i do i. I just hold like a tickle in my throat like an hour ago and like cost a little bit. And i was like oh my god. I've got it. I've had a headache all day. I've got it and like i. I live in constant fear. And i'm constantly scared and it's the worst feeling ever but at the same time before the winter comes. I'm trying to like enjoys many outdoor picnics with friends and outdoor dining and it looked like but it literally does feel like every single time. I leave my apartment. I'm taking some sort of risk and just in terms of like like my life like every little thing any time i come into contact with a person and like they could have it and it's scary but you have to live your life. You know like we had people working on knicks art studio to build my little writer's room. And i was like i was like i was scared having anybody. Anybody else coming into. Our lives is is a little scary. But i don't want to live like fat but you know we're both in a place where we're like following the rules and taking every precaution but also trying. Yeah like live life and do like outdoor dining is like low risk. There's a risk but it's low so like i've been doing a lot of outdoor stuff it is to entity hannity. But then when i'm like across from a friend that just took the subway and shifts. Take her mask off to eat. Then i get scared. Because i'm like well i'm not willing to take the subway but my friend that i'm having dinner with just took the subway and takes a subway a lot and is eating cross for me added table less than six feet. Should i not be seeing this friend. Mike it's so hard to make these choices you know. Yeah and over the summer like you said. New york was able to get below like one percent infection rate so it felt like okay. It's outdoor and infection rate is low. It's okay and now right as cases going up. It's those things are getting scary again. And i can't help you be mad like there's certain pockets and groups that are have like the eight percent of their test coming back and well. Yeah there are people claiming jez. Fucking religious persecution. Gimme a break like. Obviously you're talking about hispanic community. I am and i'm jewish and i don't want to shit on them but yeah i mean we've seen enough documentaries and i like obviously i'm sure maybe there are some good. I don't know. I don't wanna make a blanket statement. Yeah i mean it's kind of a. It's a touchy subject. It's a touchy subject if you watch. Netflix has lots of weirdly. Lots of stuff about the hispanic community and people trying to escape and people trying to escape and it's like pretty toxic culture and now yeah they're like refusing to wear masks and bernie massenet street assaulting journalists. Whatever now we're getting on a tangent point is is that we both live in brooklyn and it's been documented in the news. It's a thing that That it's spreading amongst the hasidic communities in brooklyn an elsewhere and it's unfortunate in and there's obviously other people outside of this at that are not wearing masks and a lot of teenagers also got a hate on the teens because teenager teenagers or problems and just like i was reading like i guess like in the winter. Just the air changes. Not all the teens. Not all the teams if we have any t. v. show there's certain certain ones that are dummies and there certain adults that are dummies. There's certain people everywhere that are just stupid. It's true but you think about the air. Changing the like. I don't know so i was reading something about the air changes and in the winter and also makes it easier to catch corona virus. Like it's as air longer on things just like stuff that might have been safe. When the weather was a little warmer is now not now higher risk. That's fun yeah ra. But just i'm still. I'm trying to enjoy weekends. You know we got him out all right on that dark. No we're going to take quick. Well let's end on a positive note. Now we have. We have tests available. We understand the disease so won't be as we'd like to thank our sponsor squarespace make it yourself easily. Takes all onto break. And then we're coming. Make it brighter with squarespace. Angela and i have been big fans of squarespace since long before they were sponsors of our podcast before we had a podcast before we had a book before we had a gallery page before we had merch. We don't anymore. We got rid of that but before we briefly had it and it was easy to add to our website because squarespace. This is true Yeah we started to squarespace page just to make our little sketch show legit. I guess actually we probably had a gallery a gallery page but it didn't have very many photos. We certainly didn't have a press page when we started. But we probably listed like our shows and tickets and all that stuff and And yeah our website is grown as we've grown and it's always made me feel like it just whatever i'm doing it makes it feel more legit. Yes and it's not just in our heads because we have sent that website to people who wanted to impress and it worked like it. we've had. They were impressed. They were impressed. Were like who does your website. And we're like laura laura. The computer was And you can be a whiz to show off your business. Show off your special skill with squarespace websites because they provide you with beautiful. Templates created by world class designers. They have built in search engine. Optimizations people will find you on the internet. And if you ever get confused with what you're doing twenty four seven award-winning customer. Support to help you out. That's right so whatever you do if you have a restaurant if you're a writer and artist doesn't matter squarespace will help you out checkout squarespace dot com slash single for a free trial. When you're ready to launch us the offer code single to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain that squarespace dot com slash single code single angela. What sin the mailbox this week. Okay i up. We have a question from our listener. Jackie jackie rights. If you do a pandemic coping skills episode I love for you n. l. to chat about this. I'm a diabetic and have been really careful this entire time. I've had a few facetime dates and met for socially distant walk recently with a guy. I really like for a second date. Sort of related to the gal who's boyfriend did not take the pandemic seriously a few episodes ago. I'm wondering if you can advise how you would address the fact that i'm still being cautious before i go out with someone A friendly warning since so many of my peers. Don't give a damn Says so. I feel like you have stuff to say because you were like ready to go. Well i would just say that you know. There are certain people out there who might yeah might be turned off by the precautions. You're taking but those people would not be the right people for you. It's just like anything else with dating where it's a hard lesson to learn where your values don't match up and it's like yeah it's like oh i really liked that person and i wish this was different about myself so it works out but it's not different but it's how you feel for the record. We an ira onboard What you're doing. Yeah of course. Why did we read this paragraph of resuce. Just somebody that emailed us where they were. It was like a screenshot of Of like a message of girl messaging guy like to meet up on an online date. And she's like. Do you wanna go on a picnic walk. And he was like oh. That's weird to remember that. I think he was like. I can't hear we wear masks. Yay we have here. I don't remember that on the show but it reminds me of this. We read it on this show. Yeah reminds you this where it's just like okay. That's just insensitive. Everybody's handling the pandemic a little bit differently in has like different levels of comfort ability and like some people are going to like underground parties. And i'm just not doing it because they don't want to be responsible for accidentally like getting my neighbors sake or or honestly myself like i have one kidney like kidney. Failure is a thing. Like i don't know if that makes how high risk that makes me but like i don't take any chances i don't And yeah and so. I i just think like your facetime. Dates are great and then just you like outdoor things like anyone that thinks like doing an outdoor thing is weird especially at the beginning like they're just not the person you want to be with and of course you can't are you exclusive with me for on a first date so it's completely reasonable to be doing outdoor things and i wouldn't even go out with anybody that isn't doing that because it's like i honestly say like treat it like. Std's like would you. I like start hooking up someone without a condom. What before your exclusive nokia. That's just stupid. Are you saying that they're like dirty and sake no you're just being smart knock gross so treat it the same. Do some outdoor things and then if you get exclusive and you have a better sense of their covert precautions and you feel comfortable then you can like move and start doing like indoor movies and stuff but it's not weird at all and i'm sorry that you're in an area and have friends who you say your peers. Don't give a damn. That's a total total bummer. But the end of the day just got to watch out for yourself and not care about what other people think yeah. I would also say if you're diabetic. I mean you're going to be dealing with that for life and you want somebody who's going to be sympathetic to The precautions that you have to take like pandemic side being a diabetic so this is a good way to find out yet them but he is An empathetic person when it comes to that sorta. What else do we got the next up. We have a question for listener. Christina and christina writes. I'd love to hear about some good ways to ask people to wear their masks or where properly on public transport. I've tried but ends up coming out as accusatory. What can i say to make them. Just put the damn thing on so that would be crazy if you have to take the subway and I say it kind of like not great. I like i was in my doctor's office. And there was like the husband of of like one of the wives and he was like going up the stairs to be with his wife and he like had it below his nose. And i was like it goes over the nose and i was just like a bitch passing and like i said it can kind of in passing like like it goes over the nose to work or like. I said something like that and i don't necessarily recommend not by. He did he respond. I didn't turn around to look. He was on his way out. And i was just annoyed that he was leaving the office like with it. He was still in the hallway stairwell. Where like vulnerable people are and right. And i'm just like you selfish prick but it's you to pick your battles because it's like okay. I'm mike rake around other people. You don't don't like if you just like you and one other person on the subway. Just i mean yeah. You don't want to get like a crazy person that's gonna like shake you like my rules like i really avoid talking to strangers in new york city. I don't know like. I don't want to say something like rudy or not rude. But i don't wanna say something that rubs him on the runway and like i just happened to end up with a crazy person with a gun or a knife. Like that's how i that's honestly as a female in in a busy city. I have to like approach life flake. The crazy person. That's gonna push me on a track. So i just keep to myself and that's why realistically my advice knowing what i would do is i would wear my mask and hoped that they would get the social cue and assuming that they don't. I'd probably just move to the other end of the car. Yeah and like switch cars when we get to a station. Because i really. I don't think i would engage with the person at this point. And and if you nyc i liked on the option of moving i would save like. Do you mind putting on your mask. I'm and then i would like say like i'm Like like something about yourself like i. I'm high risk. Yeah just say risk. You don't even need to give details like i'm high risk. Would you mind putting your mask. I'm harris would you put on your mask i'm pregnant. Would you mind putting on your mask. I have cancer. I don't you know like right. It's i mean that that is a good. That's good advice because then it's not being like i mean. Don't pretend you have cancer. That's not what i'm doing but of cancer but but saying that you are high risk for some reason then then it's like i would normally ask but because of this special as they would it'd be a total dick like say notice someone that you'd say like i'm high risk like hey i'm i'm high risk like is there any way you can please put on your mask or just keep to yourself but move. Remove yourself from the situation where you feel uncomfortable. If you're able to rate we hope that's helpful if any of you listeners. Want your questions answered. Email lists contacted this is why the podcast dot com. Please be concise paragraph or less. You can also find oliver contact info on our website at this is why the podcasts dot com next. We're going to dive up dive into this week's topic but first let's think sponsors. We'd like to thank our sponsor coors light life is kind of a lot it forces us to always be on but every now and then it's important to stop crack open a mountain cold cores. Lighten chill so when you choose to turn off. Choose the one beer that's made chill cores. Light mountain colder freshman made to chill angela. I have a question. Are people in your life drinking more beer than they ever have. Recently because nick is like all the sudden like a like a beard he doesn't have like the beer belly drinks like at least like he has won every night now which he would normally was more like a social drinker. Maybe it's because he can't be social. I don't know he really. He really does need to chill. Because he's i think he's just like so stressed out after where he's i. Gimme a cold as refreshing beer. When i get home from the day. I definitely feel like everybody is drinking more this year. Because i mean when you can't be social it's true like how else you distinguish a friday from a thursday mma wednesday. It's like i'm gonna have a drink will of its neck every day saturday right now. No but i did. I did today. I was like he had a beer and he cracked up. I would do anything to have some of that right now. Anyways tell us about what we love about coarsely so cores. Light is mounting cold refreshment. That's made to chill kors light as bird with a three step cold process. It's cold logger cold filtered and called package so it's actually made to chill the mountains. Encores lights called activated bottles and cans turned blue wind. Chill to perfection. You know and it's ready to drink. Which is my favorite part. I love a little science. Yeah it's it's a fun little little treat to go with your beer little fun on the yet born in the rocky mountains of colorado one nine hundred seventy eight coors light is refreshing crisp and only on hundred calories. So you don't need to feel guilty about it so that that is why coors light is the one we choose. We need a moment to chill and when you want to reset reach for the beer that's made to chill. You can have cores light delivered. This is always hopeful by going to get dot cores. Light dot com and finding local delivery options near you make sure celebrate responsibly. Come on guys cores brewing company golden colorado. We'd like to thank our sponsor care of care of as a wellness brand that makes it easier to maintain your health goals with a customized vitamin plan. That helps you feel your best today and supports you long term. I love that care of has individualized vitamin packs. You don't need to open a thousand bottles when you need to get your vitamins It's easy if you're traveling anywhere. We're not doing very much of that right now. But maybe you're maybe you're a little sleepover with your co vade quarantine girlfriend or boyfriend and you need your vitamin level. Yeah with someone in your bubble. I don't know and yeah you just throw it in your bag. You have to worry about putting them in a little pillbox like an old lady. That's right you have your hip little care of packets So care of have an in-depth five minute online quiz asks you questions about your diet. Lifestyle and health concerns to help address specific wellness goals. You know you might go into it not knowing what kind of vitamins. You need the quiz. We'll help you figure that out Their whole holistic online quizzes like getting a one on one consultation with nutritionist. All without leaving your house and in these times extra appreciate that As the seasons change it's important to get ahead of taking care of your immune health. It takes about thirty days for your body to adapt to new nutrients so now is a great time to update your vitamin and wellness routines to help support your immune system this fall. Yeah and you just never know what you're what you're lacking in so it's good to just cover your bases take those daily vitamins and we're hooking it up as always for fifty percent off your first order to take care of dot com slash. This is why five zero and make sure you enter code. This is why fifty. That's fifty percent off your first care of order. Go to take care of dot com slash. This is why five zero an enter code. This is why five zero. This week's topic is judging other so. This week's topic is inspired a little bit by listener questions and also just by my own experiences lately. Where i feel like i have caught myself. Judging other people's pandemic responses either in social media or in real life i've seen you know people. So many people going to like bridal showers and baby showers at even bachelorettes at. There's there's a special sting there somebody who had to cancel those things So i've been very judgy but at the same time i have to stop and think about well there are people that could be being even more cautious than i am and looking at my social media and judging me and and being like you know why is she apple picking you know i. I have a friend. That's in bermuda right now and she was like. I'm we had done like an outdoor workout together. And then she was like. I'm going to bermuda next week. And i was like actually come to think of it. I think she's going to be back from her trip and like won't have quarantined by the time we're supposed to hang out Suspicious i don't know what to do like what do i fucking say like. Hey you just got back like i. I honestly think like once you've been on a plane like you should quarantine when you come back to new york. Well actually she has to. We have plans to hang out next. Tuesday i'm gonna needs to tailored like cancel. Oh i just thought of this. As i was saying i was like and i'm like wow. You're be tricks really really great. I'll just message here and make sure she got like a cova test. Yeah that's doubt. And i'm glad you brought that up because it's actually so to be clear like it's like if somebody is with coming into your personal space that hasn't been following the rules that is worthy of like stressing about but i feel like like the energy that it takes like we can't control everybody's actions. Unfortunately i wish we could so people that have no bearing on your life. I feel like. I'm i'm trying to make an effort of letting it go and like not getting into tizzy when i see other people doing things you know. I'm not going to hang out with them. Not gonna be endorsed them. But i'm also like. I can't police everybody in though sometimes i feel like i like i have to be vigilant and i have to know everything that's going on and i can like stop bad things from happening. I'm keeping on everyone but like it doesn't work that way and it really is just like taking a toll on my mental hell. Yeah i've gotten better about like like slightly better at least about talking to friends like so like like mike my friend. I just went to dinner with tonight. Like she went on the subway. I'm not going to be like. Don't take the subway to visit me. You know like right. I just need to pick my battles but if someone did get back from a trip like i think i i will just message my friend be like hey not to be paranoid but You know and i even to like preface it like this. But i'd be like hey i just want to make sure you have like a covert test before we hang out Because i'm you know high risk or whatever and i'll i'll just say that if somebody comes into my house i i Like i've had Like i've had to inter like chilling. Whatever with like new. Whatever i've had to have people come to my house. Long long stories unrelated but i i like i just text him actually beforehand. So it's not weird when they arrive in my k. Just you know like. Please make sure you wear masks and and And then when they get there then i say like oh can you take off your shoes like wash your hands. The bathrooms right there. And i say like can you. Can you just wash your hands like whatever. You're my freaking house like i. I've actually gotten really easy being. Can you wash your hands. Thanks and anyone. That thinks it's weird. I think is weird. So yeah i mean i'm certainly i wash my hands immediately as soon as i get in from anywhere so it's become a nature for me but i guess not for everyone and rate and practicing not being judgmental about that but also you know people have to respect your boundaries. Yeah you kinda. I mean a little bit of judgmental s is it comes from a place of protecting yourself you know and i think a little bit of it is okay. You just have to make sure you don't end up like brewing in your corner. Judging others on social media. Because it's not all i mean. Certain things are accurate. Like if someone's on a trip somewhere you know they're on a trip somewhere by but like you also just don't necessarily know like the precautions they went to take and like like yeah. You just can't read. It's like she's there with three other people in like a house like it's they all got tested before i think and you know. Yeah she's taking she's going on a plane but like she's single and like not seeing her family you know so yeah yeah i just kind of have to lake take a step back and make your own choices and but may making your own choices includes making choices who you include in your life and who you are willing to see and so maybe instead of like judging others as much. It's just like okay. I don't feel safe. Necessarily if i'm with them so i am just not going to hang out with them because of their choices aby. Yeah yeah i mean like yeah you do you but this is what i'm doing. Yeah i don't necessarily want you part of it But so harper's bazaar actually had a whole piece on this and it was the psychology behind judgmental behavior during the pandemic which i thought was very interesting. Oh yeah tell us what what they said so. They said they started off by saying we're all guilty of judging others in his current unforgiving climate but What is it exactly. That's driving that desire to berate. And she mothers and isn't useful. I mean i think no shocker. What's driving that desire is. Were all like scared out of our minds and trying to protect ourselves when we see other people acting recklessly like it makes us angry and also probably a little jealous i sometimes i think i had this conversation with you when we are on the phone one time. And you're like. I wish i was like stupider because if i if i was like a little stupider i wouldn't be so scared and like maybe i mean we're kidding because obviously hurt anybody else or get anybody sick by in a way it would be like so much freeing. If i was a little more like carefree about thefts and wasn't so scared everytime i left the house and shorter like yeah. I just wish i could go do fun things again and not be so scared all the time. Even when i'm doing those things right. Yeah and that's that's the thing. Yeah it's like even when we find ways to like get out like follow the rules and still do something fun weeks so that cloud over our heads which is like exhausting. It comes from scared and also a little jealous. Like i have a friend. That just booked a trip to loom for new year's mike. Wow it must be fucking nice. Must be fucking nice to feel to have the confidence to bloom at the same time. I wouldn't feel it's like. I'm jealous. But i also would not feel comfortable getting on a plane right now. I would at filling idiot posting that on social media. Honestly i i also like i also do care what others think about me. I'm going to do anything. I'd be embarrassed about but i really think like i have a lot of friends. I have a few friends that just post their vacation. Pictures that they've been doing and and i'm just like all right. No shame like you. Just don't give up back and that's the thing nice. My instinct is like what the fuck is wrong with those people but at the same time like i went on a little road trip this summer i went to north carolina. Granted i held. We drove and i held my p for like nine hours but it wouldn't have to be republic and then we broke through the house but people don't know that people just saw that i went on a trip and for all. They know like they might think. I'm being reckless. So you know you never know what goes on behind the scenes So for your on mental health polly best Go until it starts to directly affect you But so anyway. So this piece by harper's bazaar they broke it down two main reasons that people kind of find themselves judging more Number one they said even though we feel like we're judging more actually it's just the reality is that Current circumstances has just made it more obvious. There are more rules that we have to live by now and always judge people this much. We always were judgmental society but now we have these like government guidelines that are clearly laid out. So it's easier to call it out when people aren't adhering to them So it's really just like we have more clarity with how we're judging people and then the other thing they said is when humans are stressed or anxious We need to find a release for our emotions and one of those ways is criticizing others because it makes us feel good makes us feel better about ourselves. Yeah yeah that's true but saboteur comes from while darkness darkness. Got a you got a face to face face the truth though base. Face the truth if you want to. I'm packet and and free yourself from from judging others. Yes and their their Their advice was they said She spent get it out. Does it then get it out. Yeah Yeah i mean like then to the right person though i would say like talk shit to angela but like you don't want to be a person that's talking crap on other people all the time because nobody wants to hang out with that person and like. I don't even think like nick wants to hear me like complain about my friend. I actually don't even wanted competing. Well my friends nick. I i love my friends but you know what i mean. Because i don't want him to think badly about them. Either you know. I find myself. Yeah in your social circle who you're going to like see at some point. I think that. Do to your therapies. It's worth sharing with friends. Because like was this person up to illegal. Avoid them So that's just like notches benching. That's like protecting yourself because you're sharing information but yeah if it's like people who don't even affect your life than whatever whatever whatever we hope that's helpful Let us know what you think. We always want to hear from you guys and i'll not out. We're gonna move on to talk about what we've been reading in the news. What she's been reading this week angela. Great news apparently tyra banks is saying that she wants to get a coyote. Ugly sequel off the ground. I love this idea. Was she in the first. One sushi was hardly in the first. That's what i thought. Because i'm like i watched that movie ally and when i moved to new york i lived above coyote. Ugly okay odi ugly. The movie coyote ugly like the actual cayote ugly of new york city. It holds a very special. And i would say intimate place in my heart and i don't i like vaguely. Remember her in the movie but she's not who i associate with cody ugly. So if i remember correctly tyrez character is the one that leaves thus opening up a spot at the bar for piper baraboo. Whatever her name is oh so she literally is the catalyst to not being. She's like leaving movie as soon as she gets there. That's right she's like they're they're like bye. Bye bye banks. It's literally yet tire by then at the end. I think she comes back. And it's like high again and that's the extent of her involvement but for reasons she wants to do a sequel So she went. On the kelly clarkson talk show and was saying she's been talking to some of the co stars from the movie They did say that so far. It doesn't sound like there is a studio writer director or executive attached to. How is this a new story already. But tyra by banks said it. She said it in public at. She's going to manifest it. Guess in china manifest it okay timings to to manifest it. Great great gap I personally enjoy the movie. I am not enjoying tyra as host of dancing with the stars right now. You know it's my guilty pleasure. And i didn't know she was doing that. Who did true place is she. She replace don't even get me started. Because i loved. Tom bergeford dot she birger on your place timbers raw. A big numbers run stand. They wanted to go to new direction. They wanted to be fresh. It was a little weird that they kept like the old white guy and like went through cycles of like hot young sidekicks hours for a long time. I also enjoyed. Yeah i know but then they also like they went through. They had What was it. Didn't they have brooke burke at one point and then they time ago and then they had the former host who. I'm blanking math. But i used to be friends with our when i worked at but And now. I can't even think of her name but she was very like i think one of the orig- choosy original one. I just i went through like a slew of like young psychics. But they're like we're keeping the old white man he's perfect. I can always take her. Leave the psychics. But to tom bergeron credit. And you know. I'm not one to defend an old white man. But he was very clever and he elevated humor of that show. And i miss them. Okay fair enough fair enough you. Oh yes excited excited. I well we hope it happens. We hope that will help. This manifestation happens. I will support coyote. Ugly two great. You want to know what i've been reading. Yes seven reading an article. This was an age By janine poggi and it's about mental health benefits are becoming like new job perks so instead of like maybe lot taes and potato chips you'll get you'll may get childcare virtual for you know Stress anxiety stuff anyways. I'm gonna tell you what they've been saying. So agencies and brands are going to need to prioritize the health and well being of employees in the wake of covid the mental health of employees has been a very real concern amid the pandemic as professionals grapple with remote work childcare virtual schooling taking care of sick loved ones and finding a break from constant video meetings so according to this new study by oracle and workplace intelligence. I'm just going to go ahead and assume that it's legit and hr research and advisory firm. Seventy percent of people have had more stressed not a shocker anxiety year than any other. That doesn't surprise me and thirty. Five percents of the are working thirty forty plus more hours each month than repent. Mike and i've heard that a lot. Everyone's like oh my god so great to be working at home but actually they just expect to be on all the time so a lot of people are and a lot of companies have had to pit it so their current employees have had to take on more responsibility. Oh i've heard that from a lot of my friends so in in pretty much works. Twenty four seven. He's on his laptop after dinner he checks and during dinner. It's not great. Yeah it's aft- employees want help seventy-six of respondents say companies should be doing more to support the mental health of their workforce and are turning to technology to support their mental health. So sixty eight percent of people would prefer to talk to a robot over their manager about stress at work which does just funny. That was funny that that was a question in the survey is. Would you rather talk with an option. Yeah a. I would rather talk to like a wall and my manager who is not a therapist. Yeah i would like to talk to anyone but manager. Because i don't want my manager up in my personal life necessarily so yeah sure. A robot manager will go with robot. Eighty percent are also open to having a robot as a therapist or counselor which is really really funny. Because did you listen. This is related but unrelated jesse eisenberg released this audiotape. Three part series. Did you listen to that. In the pandemic i love him so i i really loved it but in it. The there's like a kid and he and it's like in the future and he goes to talk to a therapist like a counselor type of person at school and it's a robot so it's very funny that people are open to having robots as their presser. Counselor 'cause that doesn't exist yet so anyways the basically this survey just showed like people want help with their mental health but they're willing to talk to robots. They're not desperate enough to talk to their managers but they will talk to. Yeah which is funny. Made me laugh. So that is a real quick. Would you talk to her about therapists. I feel like well If the choice is between my manager in robot yes but honestly. If it's may i would rather talk to no one. In a robot same manager i would pick option see like why not might stuffed animal or like stuffed animal. My son's stuffed animal anyways. That is it for this week. This is why podcasts. Don't forget to send us your questions about anything on your mind. Check out our book. This is why you're single in my new book syndrome the glass and other feminist fairy tales. They are both available on amazon. Barnes and noble and we encourage you to request them from your local indie bookstore. Yup and you can get hooked up with discounts from all of sponsors for fullest of our sponsors in the coach. Check out our podcast. Page on this by cast dot com. We are also unsocial. Also you can follow us on instagram and twitter at this by podcast. Please like subscribe on. I tunes and thank you for listening to next week for new show by. This is why this is. Why false coacher politics friendship eighteen parenting news. This is why the podcast that was a hit gum podcast.

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228: Laura Barringer & Scot McKnight and Becoming an Agent of Tov

Halfway There | Christian Testimonies | Spiritual Formation, Growth, and Personal Experiences with God

1:00:31 hr | 4 months ago

228: Laura Barringer & Scot McKnight and Becoming an Agent of Tov

"You're listening to halfway there. Episode number two hundred twenty eight. Laura barringer and scott mcknight and becoming an agent of tove. Just listen. you'll find out what tova is. Wave runs halfway there. This is the show where we have honest conversations with ordinary christians about today's christian experience. Jack nevins and i am so grateful that you've downloaded and listened to the show. I know we're gonna have a great conversation. Don't we always we have good conversations but this one is to be great to talk about Some cushion experience and I know it is going to be good if you haven't had a chance to go out to halfway there. Podcast dot com. You can get show notes for everything. We talk about links everything and there's a little patriot on button there. If you liked the show support it. I would appreciate anything you can do a no. It's a weird time right now but That's that's helpful as well. So our guest today is lower. Barringer and scott mcknight's there the authors of the new book church called tove. And i wanted to welcome you guys. Welcome both of you to have. Were there thank you. Thanks for having us. Thanks erica with you. It is great to have both of you. i want to hear a little bit about Each of your stories and so we'll just we'll do that just a little bit here but tell us a little bit about what you're doing kind of right now where we start with you. What have you right now. we'll go to scott well. Interestingly my day job is nothing to do with writing of this book. I'm a teacher. I attended wheaton college and got my degree in elementary education. There i've been a for over twenty years. I've worked with first and second graders. I'm a kindergarten teacher now. And like i said it has nothing to do with A church called tove. So i feel really blessed that i've been given this opportunity and i'm looking forward to talking about it more today. They'll be great. How about you got well. I my day. Job is as a professor of new testament northern seminary and an author and i'm working night now on teaching a course on revelation Which is a lot of fun That's always dragons dragons and wild things and false prophets lions that become lambs. So all kinds of fun things there and I preach and teach and write. And i grew up in american fundamentalism and had a spirit born experience in high school that propelled me into a career of bible teaching and study. Yeah and You know i was seventeen. I think at the time. And i'm almost sixty seven so about fifty years of chasing this path. And it's been very rewarding. And laura laura was the impetus behind this book with her commitment. She felt personally. She and her husband felt betrayed by what occurred with the leader at willow creek command. That they trusted randall I felt somewhat betrayed. Because i had listened to him for ten years and to the various leaders at willow but even more as a seminary professor. I was provoked irritated and even angered by what i knew. This would do to people in the church and what it would do to my students who would be curious and wondering why these things happen and one of the most common questions were asked is how how can a person and and we heard this about a numerous faster so this is just about well. How can a person like this. Have such a flourishing ministry so you talk about ordinary experience of christians. This is the ordinary really. That's what's really going on behind. Closed doors behind the curtains. And i thought that this was a man of god or a woman of and i now discover all this financial greed. I find power abuse. I find intimidation. I find sexual advances in abuse. And why is this going on. Why does god let this person have this success. Yeah that's not an unfamiliar complaint either read. The prophets are full of those kinds of complaints as well. Why the wicked prosper. You know hundred percent. Okay so i'm really interested. I want to get into your stories a little bit. But i got asked this question and i don't know if laura you wanna dress like it because it was kind of weird i used to live in chicago. Land there but it seemed like in the last couple years. Multiple big church pastors just kind of fell from grace. Whatever you wanna call it and it's like why is that is that just endemic in that place or is it just happening in other places as well. Well we. it's funny. We had talked about that in a podcast on earlier. With steve carter. And i've been mulling that question over in my head over and over again. And i don't know i don't know that it necessarily has anything to do with the physical location of chicago. I feel like it could have happened. Anywhere Perhaps there is a big draw because it's a larger population but as we've gotten more and more into this book in conversation and research we've discovered that this is not isolated to chicago that this problem of power abuse and sexual abuse and harassment is happening all over the world. Frankly and when. I called my dad that first evening when the chicago tribune story broke about bill. Hi bulls he said. I've seen this hundreds of times. This is a pattern and So that's kind of where. I've landed with that question as i don't personally think it has anything to do with chicago specifically but you're right it was. It was a blow to have to churches literally miles down the road from each other implode at about the the other. Chicago's a big city. So you're gonna have. A certain percentage of churches are going to have this problem so In a city this big you've got you've got a bigger chance but there's also many smaller churches that have similar problems all over the united states. But the interesting thing. I think eric is that the metoo movement exploded into the church to movement for church people and suddenly there was a willingness to call out pastors and encouraged on the part of women the harvest bible chapel a story happened because of the indefatigable research and relentless chasing down of details by julia. Royse for the world magazine and she worked on that story a long time so They really came from two different angles. At roughly the same time but the impetus and the strength of the calling out and the social media culture provoke these two stories largely at the same time. I think yeah. I think that is probably true. And what i think is really fascinating is that you know back in the nineties. Whenever the catholic church abuse scandal broke. It was easy to go while. That's the catholics. And to pretend like it's not us but it really is even juggles as well and we can't hide from it any longer at around. That time had a mary demuth Who wrote a book called to on the podcasts. As well she's a friend of ours and she s. she wrote a book about. I think every church leaders should read about weird really sexual abuse and what you should do in the right ways to handle it. Okay so i wanna go into want to hear a little bit of your stories and scott. Has the story starts there right so this guy is so. You're you mentioned that you were kinda group. This fundamentalists kind of world in had a had a filled encounter. Tell us that story what happened. All right. you know my my church was a church. That had revivals every week every fall so there were and in those revivals there was a lotta invitation. Time at the end of a service to try to get people to come forward and receive. Christ's and surrender their lives to god and there were long a songs just as i am. I can remember singing to that thing. I mean sometimes all four five versus twice dozens of times. Yeah tell evangelists. Got somebody forward. And i have stories about that but also our sunday school class. There was fresh. These teachers wanted to get people saved our youth ministry. People wanted to get people saved. So i was. I grew up in a world of decision ism and as a child. I made a decision I was conscious of what i knew. I wasn't pressured. I just didn't want to go to hell. And my mom and dad helped me pray the prayer but it was in As a high school junior. I was at a church camp and quite impressed with one of the counselors. Who was a missionary in austria by the name of delaying mix and we spoke german because i mistaken german at the time and he'd love to play basketball and i did too so we had. We had conversations that we had a bible teacher. That week that emphasized the holy spirit and This bible teacher came to our cabin on. Let's just say a monday night first night and he said between now and i don sometime tomorrow i want you to be a long and pray a prayer about the lord coming in your life are inviting the holy spirit to into your life and that next morning i got the breakfast orally no one was there so i went down by a tree and sat down. I prayed this prayer that the spirit like like it was all based on fiji's five eighteen. So don't be drunk with wine but be filled with the spirit. So i asked the spirit to fill me and i had spiritual experience of of the sort that i had never had in my life before and From that point on. I want to study the bible. I began to study the bible. I had had a bible study group in high school. That met before. School and i began to teach myself greek game on books. And that's what i would do. What was the spiritual experience like what happened. I don't know how to describe it other than the fact that i felt. I don't wanna equate it with emotion but it was emotional. It was psychological. It was transformative. I just felt like something if i were wesleyan. I'd say my heart was strangely warmed. So i'll say my heart was strangely war ago and it was that kind of experience that was convicting convincing experience. Where i knew something genuine had happened that that was life transformative. And that's that was my experience while i ask questions because i don't think you're alone. I think a lot of us are sometimes hesitant to have those kinds of describe this kind of experiences. You know. because they can't seem subjective and yet in my opinion. It's the norm for for christians than have all the time but just try reading the bible without finding a character that doesn't have a mystical experience of some sort. It's kind of tough to do by. I studied conversion experiences. I wrote a book about this called turning to jesus. One of the things i discovered is that there's almost a pattern of people who grow up with all end. Who are very serious. Christians who have had almost no experience like that i mean they have they would say i don't. I don't know what that's like. I've never had i've i've trade for. It's never happened to me. And yet they are fully convinced of christ and they believe in christ and they follow. Christ read their bible so i just wonder if there's not certain personality types more inclined toward mystical type experiences. I mean i had experience in high school prayer. Where i thought i thought the whole room that i was praying with my eyes closed was just overwhelmed with bright light and i woke up in a open. My eyes a few minutes later. It was my bedroom. You know there wasn't anything i thought. Maybe i was going to heaven or something like that. So an ecstatic mystical experience. And i haven't had anything like that since i was seventeen or eighteen years old. Yeah interesting okay. So then it sounds like you ended up going into like you really wanted to stay. Scripture was that that was kind of like. You taught yourself greek. That's that's pretty indepth or your. Have you always been that kind of. I'm pretty intense. Yeah so i started studying. And i just listened to my pastors and pastors ahead of time i could. I could easily say it would've been a different experience of heads. People little bit more sophisticated about logical study but they were who they were and i. I read vociferously I went to college in grand rapids and was able to go to erdman's and baker. Awhile zondervan bookstores. All the time. And i just started reading like the day george ladd new testament. Theology arrived at tournaments. I was there and they were selling some damaged copies for like a dollar ninety five. Oh my i bought it. And i started reading it here. I am in college reading books. That seminary students struggle with right. I had been reading har- enough that you know. I read the books that i thought everybody was reading. Yeah and that's really unique right. That's access to a lot of yes really deep you know kind of theology and biblical studies stuff that most people man outta outta love that in college that was that would've been great. Sounds awesome okay. Well then learn how about you. I want to hear kind of your story of finding faith in jesus and making it your own. Well as i'm sitting here listening to you guys talk. And i'm one of those people that's never had a mystical experience. And i would like to have one. That's interesting right so And i was also thinking about my dad's conversion book as you guys. Were talking that i don't have a moment like many people have and for a long time. I thought maybe there was something wrong with me. I should think about wait. What was that moment. But one of them Ways that people come to jesus that my dad describes in his book and you can do it better than i can't add but he talks about people just being raised in the faith. And you've always just kind of believed and i would describe myself that way that i don't have a moment but i grew up in a christian family. We always went to church and I grew into the faith as i grew if that makes zones hundred percent and i love that because it's such a Like why the people both kinds of experiences right. And that's what i love to share on. The show is just the both of them happen. They're both valid right. That's that's what. That's what i don't and i i can't i look back. I can't think of a time. When i did not believe i just always have. Yeah i i remember when you think you may have been in. High school became a. You got really integrate. Spec he was a he was a pastor. He would speak at youth conferences. I wonder whatever happened you went to you. Went to some of those that kinda got you fired up. But i don't know both of our children. I think i call it. A gentle nods of the soul. Yeah is that both games their conversion or their their conversion. If you wanna call it that. I think it's conversion but is not what a lot of people say Were were gradual and in a sense organic that they never really fought like our son was very involved fellowship of christian athletes in high school and went to the university of kansas and was involved in. I don't know what they were. Some kind of athletes christian group that he played in the band he played guitar. Think with luke. Xl who was seven. Foot guard So maybe not quite seventeen. So i think both of them had a very similar type organic motion into faith. Yeah which is great. I mean that's the experience for my kids to write like charles spurgeon said that about his son. Yeah that's fantastic okay. So you know. There's there's a lot that i would love. I would love to cover with normally what you wanna get to to the book sooner than later so i want to ask one question before we do that. have alaska's both of you. I'll start with you laura. Have you had time. When god felt far away in your journey or when you went through what you might call a spiritual desert that kind of shaped you Wow that's a good question to be honest this experience when the news broke about bill bibles it didn't shake my faith but it was almost like tears almost immediately sprang to my eyes and i remember saying to maybe my husband or maybe my dad like bill. Haberman was living a double life. How can this be possible. And it felt. I don't know the word for it. Didn't shake my faith but it was really disturbing and we cared so much about willow. We loved that church. S still of the church and It's been i guess. I i don't know that i would say felt far away from god. Just a huge disappointment in his people and but at the same time also felt very Called to speak about this topic so when you ask that question this is what comes to mind actually came yeah and it can be right clearly when our leaders are you know they get so. What's the word. i'm looking for. Put put on a pedestal right when they fall down. It's tough to reconcile that over. The other side of the pastor's mediate preachers. Mediate the god and grace in christ to us. We experienced the benefit of their gifts. As so we we recognize people who god is used in our life to lead us onward so that that's the that's the other side of this is the is the incredible responsibility of of leaders like this to recognize how they're perceived by people in their church. I mean bill immediately pounded on the women called them. Liars said he would never leave willow creek. It would always be as church. He hasn't been heard from sense. Yeah he disappeared. This is two and a half years or more and you know. There's no sign of any kind of remorse. Maybe he has but he hasn't Public and so this is this sort of experience is destabilising. So laurie use the word disturbed. It's disturbing to people's faith in some people. It not only deep destabilizes them but they they become cynical of leaders. The number of people who have written to me or to laura or that. I've seen on facebook and twitter. You know i'll never go to a church again. I don't trust any leaders type. Mentality is because of these kinds of experience rachel. the. I haven't had a since i was in high school. He sense of pharmacist. God but when i was. I grew up in fundamentalism and when i went to college i began to explore face in an intellectually rigorous way. People like john hoffer. And how teela and i started re people who are waiting outside my tradition a george ladd browse smart cetera and I got to where. I was in seminary early years of seminary. I knew what. I didn't believe anymore. But i don't. I didn't know where the center of my faith was. So it took a while on for it was studying of the gospels to see that the center of the faith better be jesus are you're gonna get messed up and So i That was that was sort of my dark days of knowing more. When i didn't believe than what i did believe but i had a good friend that i played college basketball was when he didn't go to seminary was a pastor in the area where i was in seminary and he one day asked me what i believe and i typed out some stuff i said i. I don't know what i believe exactly. But i do know what i don't believe in listed all the things that were important to him to believe. Yeah so we had quite conversation. Yeah that's good okay. Well so kind of already started going into some of the some of the book and learn explain kind of felt this responsibility to talk about. What's happening here. Where do you think that came from. It came because we knew the women actually know people. Yeah yeah that part was to stay. De-stabilizing is a good word. Is that there. Were some women that gave their names and the original chicago tribune article by manja bushier packman. I hope i said her name correctly. Yoga and one. We read the article and saw the names. It just one. My husband is known vonda dire for twenty years and he said right away. He said she's not lying. She would never do that. This is this is true. And then like my dad said willow creek got up on stage and told the world that they were lying that they were colluding to take down bill high hobbles before he retired. The elders told us that they were disappointed with the women and how they were not following. matthew eighteen. have their larson was the executive pastor. She said the same thing and knowing the women and knowing their character and then finding out more of the names and more people that we knew. i just felt like this is not right. This cannot be end of the story. This cannot be how it ends. That willow creek is allowed to slander. People who are trying to tell the truth and do the right thing and and when it it. I just couldn't be quiet about it. I had people telling me to be quiet. And i could not do it. I just couldn't do it. It was a fire. Firing your bones. Yes yes and. She was fired in part by her mother. My wife chris who became pretty fierce in at our fierce in defending the women against narcissistic male leaders. Move us women so they were both okay. this we're not gonna let you get by with this statement. We're going to say something. Yeah and of course you know they don't have monster platforms but they can. They can speak on facebook and get involved with groups that are involved and widen. They're they're in pact but both of them were really into this topic and followed it. In fact laura dob may get more involved than i. You know i was doing things. I wasn't that interested in writing about willow creek. Eventually i wrote a blog post. And that's push she the scene. Yeah yeah okay. So there's so many places that we could go. Were you surprised would that they came out so hard against these. These women or your estimating anzio hitler. I i was. Yes i could not wrap my head around what was happening as i thought. This is a church and it really bothered me. I like in my bones bothered me that the church was saying things like the women are lying. They shouldn't have been public about it. But then what bothered me. Even more is all of the people in the congregation that believed the leaders and allders is of course you should be able to believe your leaders allders and then the congregation not all of them but a number of people believed in followed and turned against the women who were simply trying to say stop. Something isn't right so yes it. it stunned me. What willow creek was doing. I had not had an experience like this before with a church. i like. i said. I'm a teacher i don't i don't i'm not involved in this kind of thing. I don't follow stories like this. I attend church. And i'm involved in our congregation but i don't i. This isn't my life the way it is for my dad so for me it was shocking and destabilizing and i told laura the first night you was it a thursday night. Laurel hit was a wednesday night. I think a wednesday night that was during the week and i was sitting on the back porch back reading and i said the chris. I saw this tribune story pop up in my inbox. I said all all willowcreekdds trouble women are accusing bill. So she started reading and we. I think we passed it onto laura mark to read and then laura called me. I think you guys were out somewhere. And then i said to laura that night i said will has two options. They either confess that what happened is true or they denounced the women and i said everything will be determined at willow creek by how they respond to this. And there's only two options either is true or false and they took the path of calling the women liars and it. It destroyed the heart of truthfulness in that church. And eric is. This is not unusual for churches to have leaders a allegations against them and they deny him. I my impression is. There are far more who denied the allegations that who immediately admitted their true. Yeah and you know it's hard to know right. Let's see if it's not true. That's what you're gonna do but also you know you gotta be open to. You'll see humility right like they didn't come with humility and go all right. Let's look at this. They came after the women and that usually is indicative in indicative of. Hey that's that's probably is true and it turned out to be true interesting okay. So here's what. I'm i'm really would love to know because you know we've we've all seen these stories and we you know it's heartbreaking. I'm convinced that we're just not doing a very good job. Making disciples in the in the church and that maybe we need to do some things differently. What's what would you suggest sky. You can start. And then we'll go to laura. What would you suggest we do to mitigate this kind of not just this kind of thing but also make disciples that love truth and don't do these kinds of things in the first place. Well eric hi. this is what i've been asked and i've contemplated ever since the story broke up because i teach students who are asking this question. John thing i would say is there is no guarantee process. You can't set. We're gonna have a program you can't say on we're gonna have a program that will prevent this remember. We're dealing with human beings and human beings can't be program so i would say that is one thing is the second thing i would say is this is about character and it's about a character that works with other characters in a church to form a culture so we have now in churches cultures of success that are measured by numbers and money. I think steve. Carter says i think he says three things. Laura spots in pugh bills in the play. I think there's a third be. It was pretty funny. He said and we. This is how we measure success. There was a time there was a time and it's still embedded in the roman catholic tradition which is just just as distorted. I had quite a bit of stuff about the catholic church in my book are in this book that we wrote a parts that i wrote. And the editor didn't want him in there. Because he said evangelical Are just going to dismiss the evanger local stories because they can say well. Catholics are worse. So there's there's plenty in there but they have had A rigorous process of working on a person's character so that they become humble and submissive before got. They've tried to turn it into process. Say the ignition way. yeah The examined process and the benedictine process of aura libra. All those things are are attempts to work into a person's character so that they become what we are calling tove But i i think that this is the work of god's grace the work of the spirit and it is going to be characteristic of some people and not others and we need to develop skills of discernment to see people who will lead toward toxicity and people who will lead toward tove and I think some of these things can actually be recognized by discerning wise people. But that's no guarantee that every church is going to have those kinds of people selecting become their pastor. One hundred percent agree with that. I think we've got to make spiritual maturity our highest qualifications not nuts education not experience. Not how many people you can draw in our how well you can stand up. A platform and intent entertain people for forty five minutes. Or what are you about the. I'm curious what your take on this. Well i remember feeling really frustrated with willow creek. Because the elder i forget his name he got up on stage after i dunno. Let's say the story broken march. Maybe this was june or july and he announced that they have new processes in place so for example one of the prostheses sees was every time. There's a man and a woman together on employees will have a third party with them so it was like those were the solutions to the problem. The fallout of the power abused and the sexual harassment. And i remember just feeling frustrated and felt very. It felt very empty. And i remember my dad and i having a conversation about this and he dad. You said something like it's not about having like a process or procedure. It's about the character of the person and it was like willow creek was skipping over of that and landing on these formal procedures for men and women working together successful laid. Think about this. If if a if a pastor wants to have an affair with a woman in the church he's not going to have that kind of conversation with someone else in the row is gonna find read. She is going to find. They are gonna find an opportunity when they're law and you can do that. You can't be monitored every minute and so you can't you can't create you can create wise processes and procedures protocols. Whatever you wanna call. Those are good. But if you don't have the character is not gonna it's not gonna work and if you do have the character. They're probably not needed right exactly. That's exactly right. Yeah so okay. So we've been talking about this. The books called a church called tove forming a goodness culture. And probably i know it tove is but we aware that word come comes from and why you chose to call it that this would be for me. I think it was the first floor. Maybe we'll know this It may have been the second post when i said What what places what these kinds of churches that are having these kinds of problems need is goodness in the heart of the leaders and the leadership teams. And i did not know in a sense when i had unleashed for myself. But the number of people who responded to me about that idea of goodness and the way it struck me personally was i got to study this more. I need to think about this. And i put it on the back burner until Tindale asked us to write are in the process of writing actually proposing to tindale a book idea that I began to work on the word. Toth more seriously to discover the It's the hebrew word for goodness the Intensity and the significance of the term in the old testament and the the presence of it in the new testament even terms like good works in the spirit is is goodness all. These things are fundamentally important concepts. And so i. I would describe the word jove as a master category for understanding the way we are to live before god and so i started to study it. Broke it down trying to find examples. My example is mr rogers now because he's dead and he's out of and he's not a current leader in the church. Who could who could faking it. All i wanted to study the word good and i did that. We use that as the as the backdrop for the categories of goodness that oppose or resist categories toxicities. Yeah that's really interesting. As i hadn't considered. I knew that that would make good but hadn't considered that is also one of the fruit of the spirit. That's kind of an interesting angle that we should be. It's one of the biggest words about ethics in the whole while. Jewish tradition inward. We're told god is good and we say that all the time right god is good but open up your bible genesis. One everything is tove. Yeah i think. God creates and designs is tolls are made to be toes and we're ethics are called to be tolls when solomon prays for the people that he's going to be the king over you praise you'll be able to show them and teach them the way of toes so i often called the bible's book of toes. Well how have we never. I've never like some in my in my studies right. But i've almost never heard a sermon about that. Read or heard. I'll tell you why you're a protestant. Yep evangelical europian. The free church went to trinity an inheritor of augustine. Luther and calvin and the emphasis in that evangelical tradition is romans. Three there is no no one good no not one so we are incredibly nervous about using this word. Good for ourselves right are. That's not the word we use it. Software to say spirit phil or were disciples but tolls goodness. Oxo's arista these words in the greek new testament. Are they show up enough that this is something we need to recall and to put back on the table so there's a freshness to the term. There's an undeniable nece to the term. Isn't it the case that we will all say when you encounter someone who has told you know it. Yeah person it's like mister rogers. He's such a great example and he's got to love all right man. Okay i gotta ask this. Laura filthier jump in here. I kind of asked us because this is one of my pet peeves. About how as an evangelical you you hit the nail on the head. Of course i expected you to but like we have this tradition. That tells us we're terrible all the time even after christ. I don't deserve it. yeah. I can't earn love. God shouldn't love me but the rallies he does love you and your call to be like him like you do that. And so i think is that language mental to growing to maturity in faith in christ. Let's let the theologians okay. Well i think in park eric. I've answered that with her. Guston calvin looser. Yeah this is the tradition we inherit is that i you have to get people to realize how sinful they okay but then there is a a nervousness about saying okay. Now we're centers but were called to be saints. Look at the words. Paul uses for christians. Yeah he uses the word sane. A lack you know in our tradition. Only the catholics used at work a saint. I remember in college using that word. That so-and-so's a saint someone said well. I'm a saint too. And i thought no. You're not john stott is but you're not and this guy says meeting you. Just look that word up doesn't so i did and he and he's right. This is a word used for ordinary christians who are who are working Out there salvation by growing and being transformed by grace so any notion that we remain a worthless useless type. People is an exaggeration of the emphasis of the bible. Is that luther said this that were simultaneously centers and saints justified and Sinful the the emphasis in the new testament is you in a sense. You were a senator. That's a category. you have been saved. And now you are called to walk in the new ways of righteousness and justice and peace and love and grace. And and that's what paul. That's what peter. That's what john expects people john says. If you don't love other people the love of god is not a new so We need to have positive categories for believers who are filled with the spirit and end to use those categories without demanding utter perfection and without being utterly shocked. Every time someone commit some peccadillo we need. We need a category that we are the people of god and we are embodying. God's grace and people are watching that and saying there's something different going on i. Yeah which is always the goal. But it's you know you're going to strive for. And i think i think what happens. Is that language that we're talking about it. Breathes the sort of false humility. That's people sometimes say oh. Geez it's not me but really it's jesus in you right. That's it's it's together says partnership that we have with the lords of participation that we get to do which is really is so much more powerful so much. More empowering which i think is ucla scriptures. Well so annalisa okay. What's so what should we d like. The i think this understanding is a huge piece. But what else should we do. What can can like an ordinary listener. Somebody who's out there looking at their church. Go and how do we. How do we foster this in my church mic community. What can i do. You have any thoughts on that ler. Well one of my dad's student have it takes seven years to change the culture of the church. So i i guess i would first of all say it's not. It's not a quick. Fix your in a church. That is not over is not living is toxic than know that it's not a quick fix for the whole organizations that change but my dad uses the term pockets of tolls where you can create packets talk within your congregation. You can be people who put others first. Who what people above the institution who seek truth Just thinking of the seven. The seven marks the told that we have in our book that you can be people that nurture grace that nurture busy etcetera even if your entire organizations not yeah absolutely all starts with you doesn't it. Yeah i mean you only have over what you can learn. New be striving to be up personal tove and hopefully it will create a large pocket within your congregation. And that is. There's an instinct air in the western world american politics etc of. Let's let's get the church to change to tove. And then i'll be a part of that church and solar so there is that sense that will will will sherman's we'll have fro ram. We'll get a tow pastor at sarah that's that's thinking that the group is going to change And then you'll you'll fit into it. I think that we need to begin with ourselves. And i've had a hundred pastors asked this question in the last couple of years and my point always you need to become an agent of dove and you need to ask yourself whether your relationships with socio. It's and with the administrative assistance. We used to call him secretaries that your relationship with other people in church is actually toe or you're just presenting a persona of tove on the platform on sunday. So you know what ordinary people who who know you will think of you today. Thank you. I have not the you you start working right there and start building a pocket of tove around yourself. Yeah that's that's a big thing. I think i love that. A student of mine a had done a phd in organizational transformation. I had no idea there was such a phd. And he said to me. I i like it but he said you use all the wrong terms and what he meant by that is you. Don't know any of the terms that are actually a part of organizational transformation. Then he said this. But there's one thing. I wish you had in your book. I wish you would tell people. It takes seven years to change the culture of an organization. I said a church to he said yes seven years. Yeah four. I mean you know. Let's just say you're mostly toaff is not going to take but it takes a long time to transform the culture of a church. You know. we're seeing this a little bit with willow creek right now where bill high bills left right. And we're hearing stories of congregants staying that they feel like the leadership is top down that they're telling them what to do. And i guess my point is that just because you've removed or leader. The culture still exists and it not a quick fix. It's not easy to what's really encouraging for us is that there are people resisting. What's going on right now. They're resisting this top down change Sudden change i mean eric. There's some really crazy things going on right now. So it's probably bad examples even to talk about until we can see the light at the end of the tunnel here but this is so important. Is that a purse toxic leader the matter which one you take southern baptist churches. Cj mahayni all of they had what i call retainers around them these are people who nurtured their persona and protected him and defended at all costs and that starts forming a culture and it is really difficult to remove all those retainers and try to star all It's usually a collapse of an organization. Yeah and then which the such weird thing right. it's sort of bittersweet no way you want to see you wanna see the goodness good term. One in my friends is a former willow creek. She was an elder there for thirty years. And i hope. I don't sound too doomsday. But i think there's a lot of wisdom s she. She looked at me one point. This was when the story was just first breaking. And i was just getting to know her. Frankly i felt like. I wanna follow her around all day and just listened to her and absorbed her wisdom but she looked at me inside. Laura willow creek just needs to burn to the ground. She said it all needs to burn and then then they can start rebuilding. Because i think what's happened. Is you have so much of the culture existing still within the organization. Every time you peel back a layer you find more dysfunction that her point was start augured. Route it all out and start all over. Can you imagine somebody saying that in nineteen ninety eight. No i mean the. They were the pinnacle they were the they were the example. The everybody wanted to be. But i will say this as an elder who did resist. Who resisted bill. Hi both well here. One example that she shared with me she voted against one time in an elder meeting and he refused to look at her and did not speak to her. She calls it an is being out for six months. Well so there's people that tried resistance is futile. Isn't that what they say about about something on on. It's not a star wars. It's another one. That's the workers. The board is coming. Yeah right wow okay. Well i would love to see This sort of the john thirteen. Jesus washing the feet. Spirit of service comeback in our leaders. I think we desperately desperately need that. And that's that's the way. Jesus made disciples we're going to make disciples. That's just how it works. You know that's the oriented that's people first that's knowing people's names stories that that is a. It's a beautiful image for the kind of person probably has the character of told. Yeah how do we get that back. Because i so i spent. You wouldn't expect you to notice. But i like i went to. I told you. I went to trinity from andrew grad school. I did a year. And a half. At ted's then i ended up at denver. Seventy to finish longer story. But you know. I spent like nine years getting a three year degree. I've been a longtime in that kind of world at crandon in And i could tell you. I know people who who weren't ready to be pastors. But they were out there being pastors and they got jobs before. I did right so like okay. What what do we do with that. And they're so for me personally. That's kind of a sore spot. But i don't know what to do how do you. How do we fix that. You're training pastors like what what are you. What would you say well eric. this is. this is the issue. And and i. I sympathize with you because i taught at trinity. I think i was there before you were there. And then i'm teaching seminary now and we can't control the culture that is in the church right now of what makes for a successful church in a successful pastor it's so large and it's so deep and long and was such a history that we can't just snap our fingers and it's gone so i think What our seminary and i talked to my classes. All the time about this students a pastor pastor's people now that sounds like a silly state. But i said i tell students who are you pastoring. And who considers you their pastor too many seminary students and this was characteristic of trinity. At times when i was there and i will freely confess that. I think i was part of the problem on. This is that a pastor was a preacher on sunday morning who expounded scripture publicly in intelligent ways and inform ways based on hebrew and greek yup. Okay that was that was typical but the and that was a ruling image. Now maybe i'm biased. Because like talk new testament so that was the conveyor belt part that i put on the on the cabrera but i think that that right there is where there's a major distortion is. We should not look at church as a place where we go on sunday morning to hear so and so expound scripture for us and we can be impressed by. I don't think that's what churches. And i think we need to change those kinds of areas where we say churches about a fellowship of people who are living with one another following jesus gather worshiping god as a fellowship of people on sundays and praying with one another etc that that's what of churches and so we need people who are nurturing that in churches as the people who are pastors sold. This is why eugene peterson. Yeah crab for how. Many years forty years thirty years about what was going on in churches. Yeah they were using the business model. And a model of success that was out of sync with spiritual formation and spiritual mentorship or two each saw pastor spiritual director of. That's a completely different thing and we don't measure that in churches today. well. I can't be done in mass right. And so that's i think the hard part you know it's it's really tough to do spiritual direction with five hundred people. You've got to do it one on one or small group and that doesn't scale you know it doesn't scale so maybe maybe the church doesn't need to pay this kind of thing. We need to be paid by the church. Maybe i need to just be a pastor so anyway that's Sorry that's a little bit of my own my own story. But i i am. I do care deeply about it. Because i i wanna see. I wanna see the church matters right matters. The disciples make today will set the direction for the church in the next five hundred years. And so we've got a. We've got to take that seriously and And i do so. I appreciate you guys do that and putting putting out. This book looks really great. Guys you can get it anywhere yet. Books and get on amazon It is a church called tove per you guys being here Laura and scott is anything you guys want to leave us with. What if i ended by reading are closing prayer at the end of our block without the all right. We'll be awesome. Okay dad do you wanna say anything before. I read it. No no. I think we want to be in the hands of leaders. Churches just pastor preach about of the leaders in churches to start nurturing culture at the leadership level. So okay more father of all mercy you know the hearts and minds and acts of all your people you know all and you reveal your church in christ grants who is people including the pastors and churches mentioned unless fuck to know the truth of the gospel and to know the truth and your grace which transforms us into christ like this grant. Further old lord the rich greece's of reconciliation between those on opposing sides of the devastating events in church. Grant us so that we may live in the light knowing the graces of your forgiveness and power and walking in the way that brings you all the glory through hen who lives with you. The holy spirit one god now and forever amen amen laura scott thanks for being here i really appreciate it thank you thanks. Very much here is good. Yeah that was a good interview.

willow creek tove scott mcknight laura george ladd chicago Laura barringer Jack nevins new book church laura laura Royse mary demuth chicago tribune eric steve carter tova scott john hoffer teela
Episode 501: The Wild Mother of Oklahoma City, on floral art, activism and storytelling. Meet floral siblings Lauren Palmer, Leah Palmer and Callie Palmer

Slow Flowers with Debra Prinzing

1:00:38 hr | 3 weeks ago

Episode 501: The Wild Mother of Oklahoma City, on floral art, activism and storytelling. Meet floral siblings Lauren Palmer, Leah Palmer and Callie Palmer

"Hello again and welcome back to the slow flowers. Podcast with tip rinsing episode five hundred and one. This is the weekly podcast about slow flowers and the people who grow into signed with them. It's all about making a conscious choice. And i invite you to join the conversation and the creative community as we discussed the vital topics of saving our domestic flower farms and supporting a floral industry. That relies on a safe seasonal and local supply of flowers and foliage. This podcast is brought to you by slow. Flowers dot com the free online directory to more than eight. Hundred and fifty floor's shops and studios designed with local seasonal and sustainable flowers and to the farms that grow those blooms his subconscious choice for buying ascending flowers. And thank you to our lead sponsor for twenty twenty one farm grow flowers from grow flowers to livers iconic burlap wrapped bouquets and lush abundant arrangements to customers across the us supporting more than twenty us flower farms by purchasing more than nine million dollars of us grown fresh and seasonal flowers and foliage and providing competitive salaries and benefits to two hundred and forty team members based in watsonville california and miami florida. Discover more at farm grow flowers dot com for each podcast episode this year. We also want to thank three of our major sponsors are first thanks goes to rooted farmers rooted farmers works exclusively with local growers to put the highest quality specialty cut flowers and floral customers hands. When you partner with farmers you are investing in your community and you can expect a commitment to excellence in. Return learn more at rooted farmers dot com today. I have a very special episode for you. And i'm thrilled to share it. Please meet the three siblings. Who together are called. The wild mother leah palmer. Lauren palmer and kelly palmer based in oklahoma city. And they call their enterprise a creative studio which encompasses their tagline more than just flowers. Here's a bit of an introduction adapted from their websites about page. The wild mother creative studio is owned by afro indigenous sisters and floral artist. Lauren palmer and leah palmer located in the heart of the arts district in downtown oklahoma city. Their love and honor of culture storytelling and their affinity for natural elements in color theory lend themselves to producing their floral stories. It's an added. Bonus that they get to work alongside their younger sister kelly. The wild mothers offerings include full-service wedding and event floral curbside carryout floral for large scale events and holiday floral offerings. The wild mother has positioned their entire business as a legacy project using flowers and floral installations to heal their lineage forwards and backwards to send honor to their ancestors whose experiences in america were tragic and to build a world for their future descendants. That is more beautiful more equitable and more. Just i learned about the wild mother from susan. Mccleary who encouraged me to attend a free webinar hosted by the wild mother. At the beginning of this year it was called more than just flowers and was outlined as a panel discussion for creatives building affirming equitable and just brands. Moderated by leah lauren with help from kelley the session covered meaningful representation in the wedding in creative industry a discussion of exploitation versus appreciation goals for building an anti-racist brand and considerations for bipasha clients a number of floral community voices participated including soon mccleary and kristin griffith dot. Who you've met here on the slow flowers podcast. Other panelists included a number of people from related disciplines. Such as event planning marketing and branding and fine art curation. It was a powerful gathering with honest and open dialogue designed to inspire and challenge attendees. Who want to be intentional and inclusive with the way they show up in the world. I've shared the replay video of that web. An art which you can find in the show notes today for episode five hundred and one at denver printing dot com next. The wild mother launched the lay of the land. An online course for creatives interested in digging deeper in the topic of building firming equitable and just brand sign up is ongoing to this course. And i'll share the link to the lay of the land in our show notes as well. I encourage you to check it out. I'm eager for you. To meet leah. Lauren and kelly one of the reasons. I asked them to join me. Today was to introduce their upcoming project called. Send flowers to greenwood. This is an ambitious series of floral installations that will commemorate the greenwood massacre of nineteen twenty one oklahoma's and the rest of the country are only now beginning to acknowledge what took place one hundred years ago in tulsa when the vibrant successful black owned greenwood district known as black wall street was destroyed and many of the people who live there lost. They lost their homes their businesses and their lives due to an attack by clan members and others who wanted to eliminate the existence of brown and black people in their city. Here we are one hundred years later and at the end of may the wild mothers project called send flowers to greenwood will be both a virtual and physical outpouring of love light and life for greenwood tulsa and the descendants of victims of the greenwood massacre of nineteen twenty one. I'll share photos social media links and more details to all the resources will discuss in today's show notes for episode five hundred and one at deborah printing dot com for now. I just want to jump in and get started. Welcome back to the slow flowers. Podcast with deborah printing. And i am so honored today to welcome the three women behind the wild mother and If you follow them on instagram you already know them. But i want to. Please welcome and thank for joe. Thanks for joining me. lauren palmer. Hi laurin all right. How are you. I'm great and kelly palmer kelly. I and leah palmer. Hi leah so great to be a virtual we can see each other on the screen and I just delighted to learn more about the well mother. All that you're doing and also Share some exciting programs and opportunities that listeners can have to support some of your new upcoming projects for the community and as artists. So first of all who wants to give me a like a snapshot of the well mother and put put yourselves on the map. Where are you located. And what is the profile of your business. So the wild another is located at in oklahoma city oklahoma. We are On kickapoo of where to talk and comanche lands Also known as the arts district in in oklahoma city. Downtown up with okay. Great the walls there is a event forest. We eat lots of weddings and events in oklahoma city and tulsa and texas really anywhere on that people. Want the wrong rather. We're willing go. We are multidisciplinary artists. So for design is not our only media but it's the one in project The most am for The public so yeah. We're we're just super grateful artists. That's great and that was lauren. By the way you're going to start hearing their voices in differentiating differentiating each other So when you started the wild mother Was it was it. Laura laura in leah together but you guys originally the business and is that right now. That's how it started. We were in college together And now as you get to your final years you start to think about what's next and were having lots of really grandiose conversation about what we could do knowing that lauren and i've always been a really good team together So we started shaping this idea of you know where a business where we could work for ourselves or we could be creative express In a in a way that was like a wide range that's why we carson create a studio so that we can explore all kinds of our in our work In just as sisters new shortly after those conversations kelly started in and Adding to discussions so before we knew it. We were serving clients with flowers. Just our friends in college getting married and that sort of beginning. When was that When did you actually the doors of the weld. Mother leah twenty thirteen servers client. We were working out of our parents. Kitchen and You know learning a whole lot in then now. We have a student that we opened in twenty nineteen Now sir from like a curated space which is so nice. So will you said you're in the arts district so are you. I know because of covid. You're probably not now but when you started had intended to be a retail space or like a or is it more by appointment. Only one of you can jump in and sort of explain. How how that's all working person's been disruptive couple years yeah. It started with some retail aspirations. But i think really quickly in my trying that we realized how much we liked the the slow thoughtful process of events And then we switched over to bike. -pointment i think within the first few months now. I understand that you have all the all these personal projects you want to do. And that's a different framework than the grind of retail right. Yeah every once in awhile. Seasonally will offer some things that people can pre order from us for like valentine's day or day but now we don't have very much Well i love the idea of the creative studio. What are some of the range of projects that you have done. Installation installations or events where flowers have been part of. It obviously said he did a lot of weddings. So maybe that was paying the bills for most of the early years. Now we have taken on projects that will Ah pullan artists other designers to like There's there's a really big event that we did where we built an indoor garden in will do lots of lots of little things here and there Really in the past couple of years we have been Processing how we can thoughtfully and show up as creatives in our community not just in oklahoma city but the the community at large on the arche So for us. That looks like a marriage between are inactive ism and We have done some research on how artists some of them are. Our heroes are professional euros. How they is Reflected to the world's What is happening around and the community. And what's actually going on So we have never seen slight little pivots in their likely image in retail was when we had to pivot away from retail so that we could really her time and effort in honestly protect our energy for some of these like larger projects that we are Have worked on. And i'm midst of working on so Yeah we flowers. Flowers are beautiful vehicle toward activism or learning. I think you're right. And i think that Somehow there it's a their flowers. Make feel safe and approachable for many people who maybe are Not well educated about a topic or who are maybe fearful or just you know. It's brand new topic for them and flowers are the the the the gate that they can walk through maybe to have that conversation So when when. Lauren and leah's started the wild mother. Kelly were you instill in school or like. How did you get pulled in as as leah said to to be part of this this collaboration. Well yes i was squad. Still in school I go to university in admin I was in two thousand thirteen. Ira snow in high school so that was because goes maybe a sophomore in high school at the time and we usually do a lot of things together and Crank to be frank. I did step in. Because i was like. I just wanna be around my sisters you need and but over time we had some really serious conversations about Do you really want this. You really want to be part of this. This is a business and It's not just us playing in vowers. It's not just a little hobby. It takes a lot a lot of hard work And i contemplated for a while and I made the decision that yes. I wanna be a part of it but i need to be in school and so i feel like now. I found a really good between school and Working for them. So that way i can have my cake and eat it too. So yes what. Are you studying. This management Watch out leeann lawrence. She's gonna come in and be the ceo soon lively habit. It's on hers. I told morning leah. That i can handle all of the sheets like give me all the numbers. I got it up. Embiid can be free to be artist and yes missing but you obviously know how to make bridal bouquet to. You're not getting off the hook. I'm out design. I'm curious about your past two flowers though when lauren and leah. You said that you were about. Maybe about kelly's age when you were starting to think about what to do after college were you in fine arts. Or what were your. What were you intending to do. When you grow up. What was was that a first idea. In how did it melt into flowers. You want to answer that lauren ego. Yes i service studying music as a clerk. Our parents put me in a music theory cross arms three and then lessons at four. sorry i Was like in a pianist senior. Until i was about twenty two years old and so my path is very much geared toward music and specifically Performance a mental education. I have my own piano studio in my own life students and That was son in life. Here being i miss it sometimes. and looking back at how old ri- suits are now like. Oh my gosh. Like i can't i can't even blowing. Some of these kids are like in high school. Now it's just kind of weird to think about the Anyway yeah i might pass was And had been for so long eared toward losing and And then in in university. I just was feeling kind of dunno fatigued. I think a lot of the a lot of it had to do with. Where i was is at the university that i graduated from had a really Was known for music department or college But i was having a hard time finding my place in college so i had to shilstone hours And found an anthropology class in deposit on andhra maher junior year. I like shifted completely away from music. I finished my music credits. renewed apology instead. And i look back. I think this rhythm of like art and then also like History and understanding people understanding like I don't know like our value systems as people has always been really significant so Yeah yeah art has always been foundation and People i that blend. And i'm bet you have a great playlist when you're in the studio working that you get curate right. It's restaurant really. I listening to one this morning while as my heroes like she should so good. I want to play list. I want the wild mother playlist. That would be really fun all right. That's a challenge to you. So when moran was studying music and music performance and music education leah. Were you at the same college or were you at a different university. We read the same university. Oklahoma baptist university and i was studying literature So a lot of those like saint studies. He people history narrative I think you can see all of this threads woven throughout the business now in subtle way but Yeah we it was nice. Mourn went to anthropology classes because we found ourselves talking. 'bout alive same things. Do you do most of the writing on the website for the whale mother. Yeah i think it's a shared task. I a lot of the time all lay the foundation for whatever might be written in and we all go in together and fix it up but there have definitely been things that we've written in absolutely collaborative way so the gets past. You know whoever saiki me. Oh this i mean what a relief i mean. So many people go their whole lives working as silla preneurs would and they think that. That's the right solution. But just personally i know from my experience when you have the right partner someone you trust implicitly it just takes the burden off of having to be the one all the time to either make the decisions or you know be the front woman or sounds like all able to kind of help each other when your upper when you're down or when you need a break someone's there to kind of like you said. Pass the baton. You always answered in unison. And your well you know when. I mentioned the of how much i love the writing on on your website. I also love the graphics. And just the whole branding and i know. That's kind of like a just a cliche throwaway word but there is definitely a wild mother. Acetic and spirit Communicated visually and verbally on your site. And could you talk a little bit about how you develop that and into that happen day one or did it evolve because it's it's just so i hope that our listeners check it out because it's it's just beautiful in terms of a cohesive message about who you are allowed. Another aesthetic is Issues ally for us. It's always growing We from day one. We worked with designer. I'm hannah ashford in oklahoma city. She's brilliant designer And we she branded as back in twenty thirteen Man we went through a rebranding process with hannah in twenty nineteen or twenty eighteen. And we were able to see the original brand grow mature a little bit We so going into that process. We talked with hannah about some things that were non-negotiables for us in what we projected so every bit of what you see the the language like we were talking about some of the things that we as written in the colors and the handwriting's has Symbolism meaning so like all the colors are palate are named stings like a yellow. And it's named sonny. He's that's one of our grants nicknames. Aries that Terra cotta color on that is central to our brand is reprinted of oklahoma. The dirt here is red and Yeah it feels like home when we come back into oklahoma on a plane you can see rendered From the from the sky every everything is like intentional end and the second go round. We knew that we wanted to be unapologetic about all of these details. That make up. The momma bear in. Those details are religious. Familial history and our sisterhood. Yeah being honest about it has felt. So i i don't know These hypocrisy is also really cool. And i don't know much about type but it's nice when you see type that is pretty iconic and hasn't been showing up everywhere and like in a you know all the templates that are existing everybody can use on. You know swear space. This is unique to you. And i'm sure it's used elsewhere but i'd at least in the floral space it's really distinctive. So and i know there's a couple of different funds. But i love. I love that too and the line-drawings who's doing the line-drawings she's one of my best friends. Lauren miller freeman. She's in oklahoma city. She's actually A multidisciplinary artist as well. She does some tattoo design and she adds the brilliant painter and Yeah she she is speaking to different projects than ours over the years but she. I don't know i i love. How learn isn't empathetic listener. And she's an empathetic artist. Known listen super well. Fans late said in a way. That i don't know i could never try create for myself. Well she began isn't great. That you you trusted her enough to put that into her hands. I love it. Well what what is the meaning behind the wild mother who can tell me that story. Because i'm always intrigued by people's business names. And i just know that there's a story the story there with that beautiful name. You wanna talk about that leah. Yeah so people will say is your mom. Is your mom wild. How are you guys wild. And i i mean that's not the heart behind it i get. I get everyone asking that though we use got name because it's this perfect hair. Docs intention That we see in the natural world end the divide so you have something like nature that is nurturing and beautiful in an soft and welcoming and at the same time can be terrifying and intense and so early on when we were trying to figure out how we were going to. What would be our design aesthetic at even a source we talked about holding this tensions making sure that in every range at their something that was really beautiful and welcoming but then there is always like jagged edge or something bows textural next to it. So that's where that comes down and as we get older as business in as women to the name. Just it's like a fine wine like it just keeps getting more robust and beautiful for me. So i'm glad that we chose something a little different great. I love it and you're right. It's like nature is both Comforting and frightening. So there's a little bit of that in your aesthetic to you. Write about legacy on your website and i really respect the part about like looking healing backwards Your ancestors and paying it forward to future generations and then also nurturing your present Spirit and i hope i characterized that correctly. I was really moved by that idea of Artists as a back to what lawrence artists as activists and making having a purpose. For what you're doing and feel like the well. Mother is creating beautiful floral art. But that's just one facet of your purpose. You wanna talk a little. Bit about that. Lauren or kelly. Either one of you can jump in. Yes our Out the legacy that we inherited Is very much a birthright but with that comes great responsibility and So while we are here in the present we also hold honor for answers behind us who and laid grounds for What we're harvesting right now in in that same posture were also like Aware that we're becoming ancestors willing So we yeah. It's it's special to think about those men and women who are our mothers and fathers and all that they all. They had to endure and all that they carried within so that we could be. Yeah i feel. I think i can see for my sisters I feel that the the honor is the honor of being their daughters in. Hopefully being someone's another they is just so ambling i lied. You're a lot of research in who those folks are relieved that our origins predated arbor's so we have learned names and places and become characters in our story and it really puts things into context. Yeah yeah but when you even when you talk about like you know. That's that's us in our lineage. But there's this other thing or stabbing into that is a collective story As shared history. And so when you're marrying aren't activism I think back to some of my favorite moments messaging so strong in in helping to shift a culture in most of the time that came through beautifully written words from an artist or hating or performance Phil and music. And so you know using armenia flores i i think it only makes sense that we would make sure that the messages that we are like herding out there are We have a phrase. We used more than just flowers. Yes yeah the things are doing have like meaning beyond you. Know one's winning the so it's it just has a soul fullness to it that It strikes a chord with me. And i think it must with with your either clients or collaborators or as you said the broader community. Because you're you're not cookie cutter florus. You're doing your own thing. And you've created your own distinct place in in in oklahoma and now beyond because you're reaching to people Everywhere and i guess we should shift gears here and just talk a little bit about the fact that you've been doing some I guess mostly online coaching around topics of Equity and an justice and inclusion Four creatives and are you still. There is that series. still going on and Can people register for it on a rolling basis or do you only offer this once a year. It's always open a pack. Have of course called lay of the land and It does it. Teaches people how to build Affirming equitable and just spread his. Take a deep dive in you. Know as as Women were sharing a lot of our personal experiences interacting with brands but also being business owners Trying to share An a message that there's a mutual responsibility we all act to take care of our communities as business owners so it is always open to register and in the course you can You can sign up for a one on one consultation with us just to go through the the details of maybe your own personal questions needs But we've been doing antiracism education and dpi trainings for a few years. Now and for the first time this year we started really gearing towards creatives employees. Taking taking on this idea that are can be powerful in in movements in changing culture. So you were doing this consulting it just like in your community of other just small businesses or or maybe larger businesses but not specific to flourish tree. Or or okay. I didn't realize that does the the anthropologist and the literary and the businesswoman all coming together to create something that that could be you know. Imp- empowering the rest of other small businesses. It sounds like we are so rian mentioned this a little bit In two thousand sixteen we kind of created this started as a side project After some really. I don't know like existential conversations about Racism and. I don't know like racism as like a an umbrella that contains a bunch of other like i don't know just long inst- people in marginalized communities so to make really long story short. We created a curriculum. The conversation workshops and We wrote got curriculum. Chiro colleagues grad school And we piloted that curriculum at oklahoma state university. Release it to oklahoma city and then from there. We have been teaching this curriculum since since like twenty eighteen to me seventeen but we knew that so that curriculum mike lives in continues to serve people. Rat what we have noticed that the creative small business community has nothing specific to As artists who were creating work in content injury driving culture in arabia. No other Nova community can and we feel that. It's so important. That creatives understand the weight of baron. Power the power around brands so inspiring. I love it so you kind of had this site project. That then influenced the well. Mother and new initiatives. Then that's great the lay of the land. I i learned about it when you had a a webinar. Mccleary was part of it kristin griffith yacht. A few people who i've had on the podcast so i was really excited to attend that. I think i didn't get in live. I had to watch the replay video But i was That was earlier was that earlier this year. covid has made everything. Seemed like that was great. Well let's we'll share a link to the just the landing page so people can learn more about the lay of the land and You know Sign up to get notices of other projects you're going to do. I specifically wanted to ask you while before. We run out of time About your initiative which is so meaningful and so important to talk about called. Send flowers to greenwood and Issue a call to listener so the slow fires podcast to support. This sulfurous made a small contribution. And i really want to see this project. Get the support. It deserves so Where do we start. This is coming up. At the end of may in tulsa as a commemoration of the century or centennial anniversary of the tea the tulsa massacres. Is that kind of be the back story or the context. Now we should tell that history because yeah we'll even here. In oklahoma story of a black wall street in tulsa and the greenland massacre was completely erased for my education Even in oklahoma history classes in high school again college In it took really my own research to to really invest in learning that story. Now we're almost one hundred years to that day The black community in tulsa being just destroyed burned down at the hands of racism And i think that people are starting to push the story out of the shadows. So if you don't mind i'll if i can just tell a little bit i would love it. I would love it. And i was saying to you all before we started recording on. My husband is black. He was born in nineteen fifty eight. And i his name is bruce brooks a lot of people have heard me talk about him or madame and i asked him if he grew up learning about this Tragedy and He said no he had to go to college to learn about it so he was curious to know growing up in oklahoma. If it was taught in the schools in it sounds like lee. In and lauren and kelly. You'll had to sort of educate yourself this critical part of oklahoma history. So give us give us kind of an introduction to what what how. How severe this was. You're hitting on something big to just in the last couple of weeks it was. It became a part of the core curriculum in oklahoma school. Literally just this year. Oh beginning you tell the story. So the story is that May thirty first nineteen twenty one Was sort of the beginning of the fall and the destruction of A town in tulsa. That was forty square blocks of land that black people recently freed from enslavement built on and they built big built while and there were businesses and churches. And i can't even picture how vibrant that community must have been an The records unfortunately are still being held. like sort of held back. Yeah help private from by the tulsa by the city of tulsa. So we don't exactly know who all was there or what businesses were there. We have oral history that we can rely on but even some of that is a little out you know. Well it's one slant it's one person's story rice and it's been it's been generations so you you really lose some of that a lot so what happened was leading up to nineteen twenty one. Black people were moving to oklahoma in hopes of finding a place where they could escape some of the brutality of the american south especially being newsletter newly freed slaves right and Oklahoma happened to be this sort of flex space Where indigenous people were. They had just come out of the trail of tears and statehood was really knew at that time so it was a good space for friedman to come and in they were doing incredible things with their lives here and i think if you listen to oral history the tone is that must have been some jealousy from surrounding tolson's who were white watching this robust community girl in grow watching Land be purchased more and more and That was sort of the the tone leading up to this day in may when a young man dick rowland and a woman Sarah page he was black. She was why it's believed that they were lavers that they were in a hotel in downtown tulsa And in an elevator and she screamed out. No one knows why but that was sort of enough. You know the straw that broke camel's back and White mobs by the end of that night were really gathering at camping up and the blackman in greenwood who would have defended the town were just Sort of overrun by men on the ground by lack of protection from law enforcement by dropping bombs overhead and in fourteen hours those forty square blocks of greenwood the greenwood district Were burned down today. There's only one structure that still stands at happens to be a church And there's one business owner whose family still owns a business. They have stayed in. Mick greenwood district But other than that pretty much. Everything was destroyed. People by the hundreds were killed and Bay became refugees in our own towns out they were living in tents. They were homeless homeless. Many moved away and It's believed that some died of this winter afterwards and what's really sad kind of going back to what we were saying initially is that these stories were so covered up almost immediately in the nineteen twenty one newspapers So there is an effort to sort of quiet any outrage that would create backlash for these actions. i'm just so glad that today we get to tell that story and And hope in hopes of using truth to into new four. So it's just seems like this. Does the the year coming up the the one hundred years kind of motivated a lot of groups to come together and create this commemorative series of exhibits and concerts and events and is it The tulsa rally massacre centennial commission to memorialize the nineteen twenty one. Greenwood massacre is the The organization that has asked the wild mother to become the the the floor artists of all of these events is that am. I portraying that quickly. Yeah so we reached out to Nineteen twenty until cerise massacre Shannon without any good context About how am how like programming happen. We just knew that and that art is medicine. We've seen that proven time and time again and so We we wanted to lend our art and to that community so we reached out. They asked for a proposal Just not really sure like what what that would look And i'm sure if you're a floral designer listening and a lot of times people who don't do our work. Don't quite understand like the detail so we were able to lay it out in. They confirms our partnership in february and then From there we hit the ground running This higher project is crowd sourced stranded so we end that helps us It allows us the freedom to do exactly what resume of you right now. That is speaking the truth. We don't have to rely on any big donors. We're not. We're not bounce to keep certain things quiet incised size. Something that's happening to other artists is that they they may have received funding To like as a commission commissioned project and because they were speaking too freely about it. I'm running was cold away so anyway. Yeah this whole thing. is is an act in community care and we've been so surprised but not surprised by the floral industry and how farmers will sailors designers and everything in between Are really on. Hunting are putting their efforts toward sweat. They have been saying all along matters to them. And that's just really really special in. Its affirming of why out this industry you know. Wow and so there's the will we'll put all these links in the show notes for the slow south hours podcast. But there it looks like there's three specific installations that you'll be You'll be part directing and installing. That's kinda redundant sorry creating There's can i just read them. I have on. The screen may thirty-first centennial commemorative program located at on a oak one oak. I dunno field and and that's a podium stage installation than there's a june second greenwood rising dedication which is in the greenwood district and that's the entry arrangement and installation and then dreamland again symphonic performance Which is a large scale garden installation surrounding the orchestra. So i i love that you You know are thinking big here. These aren't like little boot nears for people. Like you're you have had to submit sketches and concept You know architecture. And i'm sure this is just taking over your lives right now. We are eating and sleeping breathing green on right now. The the the thing that i have to put it into context I think the reason why our gut response is. Let's go big because So many died and were not properly buried or memorialize and ask flores. We all know that one thing that we communicate through flowers grief and honor and respect And lay people to rest well It's just a human tradition so Upon so many not really receiving that care and so many families unable to grieve their lost loved ones We're gonna go and lay flowers In that spirit then also to bring so much beauty in life to a space. That truly is when you're there today there are. There are plots of land where houses were once built. That are just empty and vacant. And you see how. There's a scar on the land even now and so to put flowers in that area and to encourage new life there I yeah out. Of course we would go big. Yeah it's it's it's really humbling just to be in your presence and i respect you so much for doing something incredibly brave and bigger than what others might have expected a a little floral studio to do like. You're just really putting your actions where your beliefs are. And i want to support you in that people who are interested in supporting this they can t will share the link. There's mainly one donation portal that correct or. Can you talk a little bit about the ways. People can get get on board here. So there's a go fund me and we are receiving donations small and large and everything in between The donations go toward the farmers. And that are not sponsored by wholesalers and farmers and then also The so we'll have team on the ground. So pissed isn't that just the three of you have to deploy a team yet so far Our like sweet friends. In tulsa that our world designers they have jumped in and to linz their arts and talent in then also people in texas and arizona designer. That's coming from michigan. And yeah just yeah. So many people to be on the ground who will take to taking care of so Some of the donated funds will go toward hospitality. Things like records lunch and dinner and and even things like a u. Haul van or truck and to be able to carry the load bigger than like the weddings and stuff like that. That we do so Anyway so that's a really good way to participate. Another is if it's on a monetary Show solidarity Sharing this information with along the correct history Is so important to us. When me like tell the truth we push back on revisionist history and so doing that in in large numbers and has been has already to be released significant. So that's another way and then there's an online up pouring that any and every foil designer can do novice or professional so on may tenth and from eighteen th through june seventh where inviting designers to host. There like a design that is dedicated to greenwood on their instagram. Or facebook or talker us Angry just ask that you use the hashtag send flowers to greenland few other hashtags That you can read on our website. There's an faq adam section on our web That has been helpful so far to send people we yeah. We would love to see floral designers while also. Any artists vinnie media Heard from painters in heber designers and musicians and dancers who are joining in the reposting sharing. I'm using the hashtag. They'll be sending There there are in. Maybe it's it's a different medium but it's it's in the spirit of sending flowers to greenwood now. Oh my gosh. I'm so happy to know about that and I think that. I don't know just just the idea that flowers are symbolic of grief but also of healing is is driving a lot of your intent and i think it's it's universal and it seems to be universal in in most cultures that that there's some respect paid to To our lost fellow citizens with with something from nature flowers or answer food. So it's it's powerful. Oh my gosh. I just wish that i could come see this magnificent series of installations but you will be documenting this and sharing it widely. I'm sure and reached the event thirty. I will be televised. I'm not really sure if that's nationally televised With it being televised. You think there might be some playback as we learn more. We will share onto our website. The wellness dot com slash. Send flowers to. That's a really good place to start an also data instagram. I'm pretty frequently to. Oh my gosh that's great. I am so thrilled. That i got a chance to talk with you. All today and Just tell your story and put out a challenge to get more Members of the solarz community to support. What you're doing because you are giving people something and maybe that's why this is so important. It's like a tangible act To to change the wrong history. And you know i appreciate your generosity in sharing that. It's just been beautiful. Cue thank you for allowing us to speak to your to your crew at such an honour. Well we're going to get you in this crew so watch out and maybe we could share some photos of the weld mother and You know some of your floor. Art that you've done and also all these resources in our show notes At deborah printing dot com. So we will get that out on the web and I really appreciate this this time together. Thank you all so much. Wow just wow. I'm so please. We had this conversation today. And i thank you for joining us. There are so many large and small ways to get involved and support the wild mother and the send flowers to greenwood project and you can find those in our show notes. The wild mother encourages all of us to post images of flowers on social media from may tenth through june seventh. And dedicate that post or those posts with the hashtag. Send flowers to greenwood. I hope this pure gesture of respect and humanity is something that you decide to participate in. I'm eager to participate. Our next sponsor thanks goes to may ash. Wholesale floors family owned since nineteen. Seventy eight may ash the premier wedding and events supplier in the us and we're thrilled to partner with them to promote local domestic flowers which are sourced from farms large and small around the us. Learn more at may ash dot com a couple of other slow flowers. Opportunities are coming right up. On friday april sixteenth. A bonus meet up scheduled at nine. Am pacific noon eastern with ellen. Frost of local color flowers the topic domestic flower sourcing strategies when supplies are limited considering the current panic around floral availability and product supply chain in the floral industry ellen and the gardeners workshop are reintroducing their online course called growing your business with local flower. Sourcing top by ellen in anticipation. She's joining so flowers. Friday to answer your questions about flour. Sourcing when supplies are limited. The names of all safaris members who attend will be entered into a drawing for one free registration to the course it's valued at four hundred and ninety five dollars and the course begins april. Twenty six ellen has added new content to the twenty twenty one curriculum including a bonus session. What can we do now during this unprecedented global floral shortage by the way. If you missed last week's april meet up on sustainable floral design with toby nelson. Mbeki fees be you can find the replay video in today's show notes to and on earth day thursday april twenty second host an interactive cuna with passionate women as part of an instagram live session about sustainable forestry at noon pacific three pm eastern. And that's on thursday april twenty. Second you're invited to join us. There are final sponsor. Thanks goes to. Johnny's selected sees an employee owned company that provides our industry the best flower and vegetable seeds supply to farms large and small and even to backyard. Cutting gardens like mine. Find the full catalog of flour seats in bulbs at janis seats dot com. Thanks so much for joining us today. The slow flowers podcast has been downloaded more than seven hundred fourteen thousand times by listeners. Like you thank you for listening commenting and sharing. Hit means so much. As our movement gains more supporters and more passionate participants who believe in the importance of our domestic cut flower industry. The momentum is contagious. I know you feel it too. I value your support. And i invite you to show your thanks to support so flowers ongoing advocacy education and outreach activities you can find a donate button in the column to the right at deborah printing dot com. I'm deborah prancing host and producer of the slow flowers podcast next week. You're invited to join me and putting more slow flowers on the table. One base at a time. And if you like what you hear please consider logging onto itunes and posting a listener review the content and opinions expressed. Here are either mine alone or those of my guests. Salone independent of any podcast sponsor or other person company organization. The slow flowers podcast is engineered and edited by andrew. Brennan learn more about his work at sound body movement dot com.

oklahoma city Lauren palmer leah palmer leah greenwood tulsa oklahoma kelly lauren kristin griffith kelly palmer leah lauren Lauren deborah printing Hi laurin kelly palmer kelly Mccleary Laura laura Ah pullan
The Sedano Show (HR 2): Did Kevin Durant take a shot at Michael Jordan?

Afternoons with Marcellus & Kelvin

53:50 min | 1 year ago

The Sedano Show (HR 2): Did Kevin Durant take a shot at Michael Jordan?

"What's up with you here on? Espn presented by progressive. Insurance guests appear via the shell. Pennzoil Performance Line Keith. Law GonNA join us to talk. Some baseball is one of the best in the business from the athletic. Got New book out. We'll talk to him about that. It's all brought to you by my computer career training for a better life. Oh man so during this. I want to let people behind the curtain. I know I was GonNa Talk Basketball here and I will. I promise okay but during the break we were having the discussion continued discussion about Clayton Kershaw and Justin Turner and then got back into the contract thing and you said because someone tweeted that were you got three years eighty million and I said but you said a hundred million and then you said vehemently that you did not say a hundred million now Laura you also said one hundred million however we went back and Laura grabbed the tape okay and I need the audience. Help on this okay. As a matter of fact I need the digital team. I don't know if it's Janice or Carlo today to have this audio to and ask if this counts that Greg said one hundred million or not. Okay because we were talking about Clayton Kershaw next deal after this current one is up. Okay which is two more seasons so he will be thirty three years old and I said you think he's going to sign another hundred million long-term deal and you said three million one hundred and stopped yourself and then changed in mid sentence. Because that's what you do. That's just normally how you talk you change in mid-sentence time but we have the audio and I want the audience to say. Does this count as a one hundred million dollar contract for Kershaw by Greg? If this this audio justifies Greg set one hundred million yes or no now I want you to line up at eight. Seven seven seven ten. Espn Laura play the Audio. You think link ourselves going to another long contract. Yeah I do absolutely at least three years at least three four years one hundred absolutely. He's thirty one years old. He's the best regular-season pitcher in baseball and he could easily go to somewhere like Texas was we. Can you trust that Clayton? Kershaw is going to be another long contract with his injury history. Absolutely one hundred. You stop ourselves because you you different. Thought you said one hundred. Because I didn't I knew I didn't want to actually say one hundred million dollars because a hundred million dollars seems like a little bit too much so no and then later on which is now calling. I'm calling collusion. Because Laura refuses to go back and find the part where I said three to four years. Twenty to thirty million dollars. That is not one hundred million dollars at least three years. Twenty to thirty million dollars. I have one thing to say to you greg. Take the I'll play the yourself yourself up Laura Laura play. That's it was excellent setup. Laura Great Job by you Laura. Play one more time but you could just stop it after he goes absolutely one hundred absolutely or whatever it is he said just after that part stop it so people could clean. Carson was going to get another long contract. Yeah I do actually at least three years the absolutely. He's thirty one years old. He's the best of your fine. We don't have to play anymore. You one hundred hundred and then I stopped and it was just cut off in the middle of one hundred. Didn't even WANNA finish that sentence so I went? I went back to what I was talking about before. Does that Count Eight Times. You said that ten. Espn eight seven seven seven. Ten three seven seven six. Does that count? I Need People Laura Lineup on the phone. Okay lineup because I need to know what the people think. This is a show. This is a station of the people and we will let the people decide if greg takes the L. Does Greg get a w. There Greg take the l one more time kind? This is what you love so much. You just love me. Getting l's that's all you care about on only for all I care about the does Kinda helped move the show along a little bit. Sometimes I so draymond Green Laura Real quick draymond green draymond Green Kevin durant sound before we get to those calls. Draymond green kind of took out Kevin Durant so he was talking about the last dance and talking about how you know the whole Scottie Pippen Jordan thing and how Jordan should have gotten his back and Blah Blah Blah but he equated to what happened with Kevin Durant with the warriors. Let me hear that definitely hit close to home. We have a very important piece of our season. Who was a piece of that season? Which was Steve? Kerr and I think Phil did what was great which is acknowledged elephant in the room. You know because all year they would. Phil doesn't do that all year. Everyone else is dealing with that somewhere. You know and whether it's coming in question so now once you get these questions from the media we've already addressed that as a team. We really don't need to talk about that. And our situation was a little different and from the standpoint of it was contracts but it was on players you know it wasn't necessarily the organization so Francis like Kevin took the one year deal or his own so that was kind of the elephant in the room. So he he basically said that Kevin should have just been straight with people now. I'll say this it's his right to not be straight with people but at the end of the day he did cause more strife he could have just simply told people You know what was going on their show. Here's the one about his actual contract. Go ahead. That was kind of the elephant in the room. And all those Steve. Were Kinda hit on of like? Let's just enjoy this year for what it is because we don't know where you're next year hose. Aac didn't carry necessarily carry the same weight because what should have happened was Kevin. Come out and say hey man like like this. Is it like so. Let's let's do this or this isn't it. You know what I'm saying but you can't just leave the elephant in the room. Because what happened was the question came to us every day. Like Klay Myself was is about our contract every and it was strictly due to Kevin. You know because wow that was worn on clay saying I WANNA be a warning from like I WANNA be here. We started this thing. This is why I want to be and then you kind of have Kevin like what I'm GonNa do next year like and it don't matter but it does matter because you're not the only person that has to answer that question and to be quite frank with you. You're obviously the last person that has to answer the question. Because you don't really say save much to the media as anything you tell them to shut the now. Here's where I'm with Draymond had Kevin Durant just said. Hey I'm not talking about my contract and move forward it would have been over. Lebron did Lebron's done in a number of times and look. Kevin Durant has taken the lead from Lebron. A bunch of times and let. Let's face it if you think about it. This is no disrespect to Kevin Durant. I'm not trying to do this. Because we all have people that we emulate now some of them may be competitors. Some of them may not be but Kevin Durant is basically taken what Lebron has done historically and molded it to what he wanted to do. I'm stunned that that was not one of them that he didn't just say. Hey you know what I'm GonNa just tell you know. I'm not talking about this and guys if you keep asking me all you want but I'm not gonNA talk about it. Don't ask my teammates. Let's just I'm just focused on basketball. And if you do that enough for as intrusive as the media can be particularly the NBA because relationships matter so much in the media you're just GonNa go away and just be like I find. He's never going to give us the answer we want. So we'll just give up so you can control the message more I think in the NBA. Then maybe any sport because of that because of the accessibility because of the need for accessibility for the media and I just don't feel like he I don't think he played any of that last season right now granted. Some of it was out of his control with the injuries or whatnot. Like that was just bad. But I'm just talking about the stuff. He could have clearly control. So I'M GONNA dream on on that as much as it was Kevin Durant's decision and he has every right to kind of take the position he wanted to take. He could have just ended it very quickly by saying guys. I'm not talking about it and don't ask my teammates because nobody knows I haven't figured it out. I'll let you know when I know you'll know and that's basically what Lebron because think about it. Historically what Kevin Durant has done. It's been a lot of following Lebron's lead and I'm not saying something that's out of. Turn here Kevin Durant wants. Did a story for sports illustrated that said I'm tired of being number two and it was in reference to Lebron being the best player on the planet. So I just think that when you look at this particular situation and you're Kevin Durant you probably could have handled differently because you you took Lebron which was going to Miami and did it on steroids by going to the Warriors. Lebron joined a team with weighed in Bosch title. But they hadn't won as a group you know like the guys. The only one carryover from the team that Dwayne Wade won a championship with whereas with Kevin Durant. While it's his right and I don't blame him for it. I'm not doing that so don't take it that way. He said he took the Lebron model and just crushed it. He broke it. He was like that who needs. Who needs that Dallas series? I don't need that in my life. I'm just GONNA go and I'm GonNa go get get me a title right away. I'm GONNA fast track that thing and once I get that then it's going to be over. People are GonNa like me just like they did. Lebron you know. Eventually once he won people got over the villain stuff. Except here is the miscalculation Kevin Durant did in regards to trying to emulate what the brand did kind of skip a step was the skipping. This step was something that people were going to hold against him. The fact that Lebron lost to the Mavericks was as much grief as he took and look even he has said in the past that he didn't handle that season well he didn't handle the stuffy said after that series well even though I liked it because Lebron was just real when he said that thing after that final series against the mavericks where he was like. Look y'all can just go back to keep rooting against me. But it doesn't matter I'm going to go back to my life and you gotta go to yours. Which probably isn't as good as mine. Now I'm paraphrasing. But that's basically what he said and yeah it's probably not the smart thing to have said but he got it off his chest and sometimes that's better whereas durant because he didn't have to endure the struggle of losing the first series and let's face it the ridicule that Lebron took in losing that first series. Lebron talks about it all the time where Lebron went into like this two week hibernation like literally said that to me once that he was he went away for two weeks and wouldn't leave his room. Okay like he grew a playoff beard but accept. It was the off season and he didn't WanNa talk to anybody. That in retrospect he was like even distant from his family that he was so depressed about the way. That whole thing went. But that's what motivated him and it's no different than what we're doing here with the last dance because what we're seeing now for those who were getting an education on Michael Jordan struggles and how Michael Jordan wasn't just the guy in the Youtube clips or the highlights on ESPN. We're hitting game winner after game winner shoulder. Shrugging against the Portland Trailblazers. No Michael Jordan got cut as a sophomore from his high school team. Michael Jordan wasn't a prodigy as a kid. That's actually even different from him. And Lebron. Now Lebron's family circumstances were way more unstable than Michael Jordan's and Kevin Durant too for that matter but Jordan had to work to become the greatest ever. He didn't have the natural ability that some of these other guys have like. Lebron as greatest. He is has more natural ability than Michael Jordan and is more gifted physically than Michael Jordan. He has that over him coming in even though he had a much tougher and unstable family life than Michael Jordan did but back to my point which is if you're Kevin Durant. That was a huge miscalculation and dream on his one hundred percent right about that. Lebron was able to endear himself a little bit through the struggles. Because that's what we want. We live in a society and it doesn't matter if it's sports if it's entertainment. We live to build people up to tear them down to eventually build them back up again. Okay that's every walk of life and it isn't just sports well certainly just isn't the NBA. Looking we did to Michael Vick. Michael Vick was the hottest thing in sports for for a minute. And then he went to jail and he did his time and now people look back at him differently after a thirty for thirty because he works in the media now right because he's an advocate and clearly an advocate for dogs now. But it's the life we live. Unfortunately I'm not saying it's fair but it's the reality and because Kevin Durant skip that step of the struggle per se unlike Lebron people like NAM in. We're just not we're not messing with. You is not the same. You're not like Lebron. You just skip the step. It's like playing monopoly right. Pasco collect two hundred dollars right. It's the same stuff so of course he's not GonNa get the same recognition and that's why he ended up leaving Golden State and he walked away from a situation where they were GonNa Win Championship After Championship. After Championship. And I'm stunned. That he did it. I mean I had these conversations with Michael Thompson forever about that. He'd ever I mean he lost a cases bottles bottles of came as everybody at this damn station. Michael is not happening. And that's the difference and that's why he should just shut it down because he wasn't winning the battle of public opinion. Anyway Franken West covina frank which up bar Bergman. What'S UP MAN. It totally counts man. Get Out of you know Frank. Frank Frank Frank. Hold on for those. That don't know what happened earlier and I'm sorry that we didn't get to the phone earlier. Frank Bergman and I were arguing about Clayton Kershaw next contract right. We were talking about after two seasons from now when he's a free agent again. I said You'd think he's GonNa get a long term deal and Bergman said that we were arguing in the break that he said that he was going to get into their one hundred million dollar deal after this one Bergman said no chance I said one hundred million dollars we played this audio. Play it Laura Do you think clinker show is gonNA long? Yeah I do I absolutely at least three years. These three or four years one hundred absolutely. He's thirty one years old. He's tried stop. So Frank you say that counts. That counts man. You gave it up. No that doesn't count. I was I didn't finish the thought. The thought didn't even get finished. Frank Talk You man and you and you but we know what you said people talking. You know what they meant. Thank you frank. Can you do me one favor frank before you go? Don't do it say. Hey Bergman take the L L thank you Fred. Eight seven seven seven ten. Espn eight seven. Seven seven seven three seven seven six if you wanna give Bergman and L. or w feel free eight seven seven seven ten. Espn I apologize. Because I didn't get to the Kevin Durant they're gonNA shut Lebron part of this equation. We will do that next. Stick around back and four minutes here on seven ten. Espn presented by Progressive Insurance. Making it easy to bundle your home and car. Insurance and by straight talk wireless Keith Law is GonNa talk some baseball with us on the other side so we'll get into that Bergmann took an L. There you know what Happens Bergman. You can take an ill. I take all the time for this show. I mean it's your it's your own doing. It's not like we're just playing back audio things you said. It wasn't anything that we made up of by any stretch of the imagination. We had a call on my side of the break. Do we still have that caller? Laura now didn't WANNA come on air but he did say that Greg was trying to say one hundred percent not one hundred million. I don't know about about that. Yeah Chico at Highland Park WanNa talk about G-go. Hello you all right. Here's the thing Bergman said a hundred and then he give him confirmation absolutely. I mean took the L. Absolutely took the El Sisi. No absolutely point absolutely had to do with your original point. It wasn't about one hundred saying that he did. He did get you Chico. Stay there for a second Laura. Play the cut again until he says absolutely. Jeez CHICO DROP. Let me hear the cut again. Because she goes right. You didn't actually give yourself your own confirmation bias contract Yeah I do I at least three years. Three or four years one hundred absolutely. He's thirty one years old. He's the best pitcher in the the. The absolutely has nothing to do with one hundred part to the point of I didn't even remember saying the word one hundred in the break. We were talking about this. The word one hundred was demon connected my brain right but clearly your ears in mind lied to you because you said one hundred. This is what my girlfriend's always talking about how I don't remember seeing as I say I as much as I gave you grief for her telling you to dress at the grocery store. She's right about that. That's I'm sure there's no doubt about that. Hey so I mentioned earlier that Kevin Durant was talking about the Jordan back and Greg. Do you believe that people can complement one person but also kind of subtlety throw shade at another? Yeah absolutely there. There's something when they're talking about it. They're not always talking about that. One thing it's always something else behind it right so what I would say is particularly when you're talking about the greatest player conversation in the NBA. We always hear about Lebron and Michael. That seems to be the thing that gets the most traction is that a fair way to assess it. Yeah I agree with that. Okay so Kevin Durant was asked about ranking Michael Jordan. And here's what Kevin Durant said on the boardroom on ESPN plus psychologically. How do you write Michael Jordan? One being a best bobby. The worst one ball handling one defender one mid range jumper zero zero three ball see. That's the one shooter lot. 'cause he's so dominant us at three point line and needs to shoot me but what he did he still down. But I'll give I'll say three passing the was a leap passer. I will give them zero to one. I gave him one teammate. Say teammate okay. More for that too because he he just everything will leader from somebody. Who's GonNa take you to the promised? Land ones on everything except three-point shooting. He went on to say he's the best to ever do it. Do you believe that is also a jab? Remember I said in the last segment. Kevin Durant wants today. Sports illustrated story that said I'm tired of being number two in reference to Lebron being the best player on the planet. Do you believe that was a shot at Lebron? Who that one's a little bit tough? That's a that's a tough one for me to go on I. Michael Jordan is the best of all time it everything out of all those things I so no. I don't think I was a show. I'M GONNA go the opposite way the New Year George. I don't think I think I think because those two are so competitive against each other and durant thinks like durant thinks. He's the best player on the planet. He doesn't think it's Lebron so it annoys him that Lebron even gets in the Jordan conversation because he thinks right now. He's better than him so I think it's absolutely knowing the players involved and their more recent history. I don't think there's any question I'd love to Ramona. Says about this tomorrow. Because she's going to be in the riding shotgun with us tomorrow. She's going to be on the show tomorrow all show. I would love to hear what she has to think about this. Because I I saw stephen a Smith and Max debating today on first take and they both believed that Kevin Durant was absolutely taking a shot at Lebron in that scenario. I mean those two guys are much smarter than I am. Obviously with all the ells I take but I mean if you ask Kevin Durant who number two was on that he'd say himself and then after that I think he would say three would probably be like Kobe or something like that then. You're starting to take shots at Lebron. At that point once you start naming other guys ahead of Jordan naming Jordan. The first in anything is not ever taking a shot at anyone else. But you don't think you don't think it's weird that Lebron was like the only famous person not talking about this documentary yet when it aired. Yeah I'm a little bit odd for him not to do that. Because he's such a basketball head in the book and he was like he was the one that went on the Richard Jefferson Allie Clifton podcast and channing. Frye road trip in and said we need to get the documentary come on ESPN. Remember like him and Richard Jefferson. We're talking about so. I was expecting him to be all over this the other night and it was like crickets. I mean Lebron is very careful about everything that he says right everything as he should be yes so anything that he would have written on social media I think would have been misconstrued matter what it was or do you think that it was also calculated that he was like. I ain't gonNA write about this 'cause I need to see the whole thing I before I make any comments and and again it could be both those things right. It could be. He knows that anything can be misconstrued hence why he's calculated but also like NAM and I think I'm better than this dude. I if we if we see him say I think I'm better than this dude at the end. Then the debate rages on and he probably gets killed for it by from a lot of people and it's all over social media. It's all over. I Take I mean Hell. We'll talk about that for how long it would be great. I don't think he's going to say that. No but I think he listened. You talk to people around Lebron and they think that after that Cleveland Championship. The one that they beat the seventy three win warriors that he's like man that's better than anything. Mike. Did you know what I'm saying like that people that are close to him. Believe that and and there's coincidence. I think that Jordan agreed to take the pitch meeting as Ramona told us on the day that the cavs were celebrating their championship at their parade. Okay and that. The warriors had beaten their regular season record and not to mention that the producer said to him. You got a bunch of kids coming into my office. Who Wear your shoes? But they never seen you play like he doesn't WanNa be he doesn't WanNa be forgotten like think about that for a second. I wouldn't either. Because yes people know him as the brand but people are forgetting him as the player when. You're just youtube clips and this is a way to educate people so. I think all of that is involved here. I think there's a huge I've said this to Kishan and L Z and Travis during crosstalk a couple days ago like. I think that there is real acrimony but I think that there is not. It's not warm and fuzzy those two Lebron and Jordan because Jordan by the way and I don't blame Lebron because Jordan has been warm and fuzzy to him like he has been to other players historically. Yeah no I think we'd be silly to think that this wasn't a calculated move by Michael Jordan to get himself back into the into the mainstream media again. It's all the gory. Ego hundred percent but Lebron one hundred percent. Now No yes. I'm used to seeing one hundred percent. That's just the way these things go but I mean Lebron is a is a guy but has the only way that he's really GonNa get it. That's why this whole thing really hurts. Him is because if if he would have won the championship. This year with the Lakers. I mean that is a chip on his shoulder that he now has like look man. I got three championships. Three different three different franchises. Where I'm the best player on all three of those teams. I am the leader of all those teams. You GotTa have me up there. Yeah it is. His stake to it is that is. I beat the greatest single season team. I could win three championships with three different teams as the best player. Those are all things that help his argument. Obviously he's got physical attributes. That Jordan didn't have so I ate while I think Jordan is still the Guy I think it's closer than most people would give it credit for speaking of giving credit to someone and Mike in La. Wants to give Greg Credit. Mike I'm here you hear me. Yes Sir okay. Yes I never agree with Greg but might actually be right kind of little arrogant and stuff at times and he always thinks he's right so I think when you said it three to four and cut up at one hundred he was going to say one hundred percent like he always does not one hundred million so I think that he would and then he thought about it for a second three four years. He's then he thought about it again. He agreed with it and then later on he said one hundred percent when you ask them again later about the three years Who SAYS Were you got three years. Eighty million but he agreed with the three years so people have mentioned the hundred million again. Then if it would have been mentioned faded on demand. Thank you thank. Thank you Mike. Even though that was a very large backhanded compliment at the same time. He never agrees. I always love with the preface. This statement that trust me. Take it from someone who gets that? All the time never agree with George except this one time agreeing with you which kind of probably agree more than just once. I like the arrogant line in there. Too I mean again. There is nothing wrong with being. I would say it's not arrogant. I would say and thank you Mike for the call. We appreciate it hope. You're safe healthy. What I would say Greg Is. You're confident is what I would say. I think that's a good thing at sports radio. Would you not I would say in life? Forget about sports radio in life. Hey real quick before we go to break because Keith Laws GonNa join us in a second. We'll talk some baseball with him and talk about his new book about baseball. Which is pretty cool. There's this cool thing trending. It's the number one trending thing on twitter today. It's Hashtag five perfect movies here. The five perfect movies I win with Pulp Fiction. Dark Knight Empire Strikes Back Kill Bill volume one and Major League and the reason I chose those five. And there's plenty more I could go with are probably those the most re watchable movies for me. Sorry Bill Simmons of you're listening to steal your word but I watched. I've probably seen those movies a million times and that's that's probably why they would be the five perfect movies for me. I agree with a lot of those are all really good movies. The only one that I would probably do a little bit different I love Shawshank and can wash it any second of any day and I think it's a fantastic movie that there's no slow parts to me so I've gotten a lot of grief over not having Shawshank there but while I do agree to a fantastic movie it is to me. Not as it's not a movie I liked to watch over and over again and the other one is princess bride. And how you don't have princess bride. It's just a shame. I just think that movies above average. I don't think it's separate of average yet. But you know who's Great Keith? Law He's one of the best business at talking. Baseball will talk to him about everything that's going on. We'll get starts on what he thinks about the season. He's one of the smartest dudes covering the sport. So we'll talk to him from the athletic next one of my favorite print songs. Little Red Corvette that in one thousand nine hundred nine Saddana show with a year on seventeen. Espn presented by progressive. Insurance guests appear via the shell. Pennzoil Performance Line Keith. Law will be giving us the straight talk brought to you by straight talk wireless everything for less only at Walmart. We're waiting for him to call in. He's one of the best in the business of covering Major League. Baseball from the athletic used to work here at. Espn got a book out called inside game which is basically how we can kind of analyze all the different moves in baseball and how we can apply them to real life thinking so. I want to talk to him about a number of these things but I want to ask him the Kershaw thing that we were arguing about earlier. Speaking of which if you didn't get that Bourbon and I were talking about Kershaw right. We started off talking about the the the line in the sand. Basically Justin Turner wants to play as soon as possible. He'll play in the biosphere. Whatever and Kershaw doesn't want to do that. I just want to leave his family. Which is commendable. And I understand that but we started talking about his long term viability if he misses the season right because then he's got another year and I was wondering like do you pay him beyond that. I just don't see Andrew Friedman being one of those guys who pays him so Bergman and I got into it Bergman. I thought said that he would get another one hundred million dollar deal. Bergman vehemently denies that and then we played this audio and the audience has been deciding. Yea or Nay Bergman get the W. or the L. play the CLIP LAURA. Do you think Lynn Carson was going to get another long contracts. I do at least three years. These three or four years one hundred absolutely. He's thirty years old. He's the best regular-season pitcher in baseball and he could easily go to somewhere like Texas. We we we. We heard enough so it was there. You said one hundred but did you one hundred percent or did you mean one hundred million. So we'll let the audience decide. Let's go to Ryan in Manhattan Beach. What's Up Ryan? Yeah I really don't see it with Kershaw there's just too many question marks Blasi dropping each year Lack of obviously playoff production So I I just I would never see anyone signing him for over two years. I I don't know right now Bergman. Do you think Bergman actually said one hundred million like long term. Three four hundred one hundred million there. You Go Bergman. Take the elegant. No I didn't say the word million at all it was a hundred percent. Let's talk to Keith. Law is one of the best in the business at covering major league. Baseball is new book is called the inside game. It's just a really smart way of looking at baseball. And all the decisions that go into any particular thing and and how the advancements have taken place as well but before we get to that real quick. I want you to settle a debate that we were just having literally a second ago. We were talking about how you guys WanNa play I don't WanNa play in this biosphere or alleged biosphere but we got into Clayton Kershaw. Who's kind of drawn a line in the sand? He says he doesn't want to leave. His family commendable totally understand it. But I think the game will move on without him if they have do so we were talking about his contract situation because then he would have one more year at thirty plus million dollars and was like I wonder what the next contract after that will look like. So my producer. Greg and I were arguing over the fact. He thinks that he'd get another long-term deal probably three or four years around one hundred million. I don't think he could fetch that age thirty three. Like where would you see him? Moving forward as he's been trending in a certain direction as his career has moved forward here. I don't know that I can speculate. On what kind of dollars he'd be looking at. I can tell you. He's no longer number one starter. He's not seen that way by anybody. his stuff is down and I think he can still be an effective major league starter for a while. But if he's more like a mid rotation guy he's not GonNa get thirty plus million a year anymore. That's just not mid rotation guys get paid and obviously once you've started to lose some. Lhasa rarely get it back. But there's always the chance that it continues to drop to and that is going to be a concern for anything that thinks about signing him to a long term deal. Yeah I'm with you. I look on the other side of thirty. He had. I mean up before this season. He had four straight years right of some sort of injury that he was dealing with a couple of more back injuries right. Like that's just not stuff that you look at. If you're a smart baseball for an office type and saying yeah that's the guy sign up for one hundred million like I don't believe in by like let's say you're the rangers signing him to sell tickets like I always think that's a disaster waiting to happen signing a player just to sell tickets. Yeah Pool Yeah. We certainly not producing. I mean this is a major topic in my book. That contract that he signed was a disaster the day it was was inked and has only gotten worse since then because the angels don't recognize or recognizing ignore the some cost fallacy. That that you already painful no matter why so. The question is just whether you're better off as a team playing him or not playing and it turns out. They're better off not playing him every day that they do play them. They've actually made their chances of winning in their chances of getting the playoffs even lower. Which is crazy. When you think about Keith Law. Joining us here. The book is the inside game. It's his second book is First Book was Smart Baseball. Which is fantastic to you. Should get that one. If you haven't had a chance to read it. What was the idea behind inside game number of people in front offices around? Baseball Including Signature Paul. Who's with Was with the Astros at the tiny assistant. General the Baltimore Orioles. Were talking about books like thinking fast and slow by Daniel Conham which I quite a bit in the book that they were all reading. These books. I in this vein about cognitive psychology and behavioral economics. And we're just trying to improve their thinking improving their own processes for thinking about major decisions because obviously by that point even a couple of years ago he's already had lots of data and the hiring many many analysts to fill their or indeed apartments. Now they were trying to say well. How can we improve our whole decision making process so that we make better use of the data that we have and as I started to read more books in this vein? Thought you know. There's not really a good book out there. That explains these concepts for the mass audience and thought I might be able to do that by using examples of sort of well-known mistakes from baseball history whether they were mistakes by managers on the field or mistakes by general managers and trades signings and draft picks over the last like go back about eighty years. What were some of those mistakes that that just stood out to you immediately? I highlight Let's see there's Bob Wren Lee? In the two thousand one world series it just made tactical error after tactical error and yet they won the world series anyway so for a moment at least he was seen as a good manager. And that's outcome biased. Judging the process by the results the results was great. A process that gut them there was not great they won the world series because of Randy Johnson and curt schilling. Not Because if anything that Bob Brenly did. I also highlight the Gary Matthews Junior contract and he was given a five-year deal based off of one. Obviously at the time fluky breakout season and talk about that. As an example of what's called recency bias where you really over value the most recent data the most recent thing you saw and ignore most or all of what team before that and that five year contract that the angels gave Matthews was absolutely reflective of that because all the evidence had before that one sees the Gary. My junior was perfectly fine for outfielder. They paid him like he was a star like he was going to be an everyday player and then some and that was a a textbook example. When I've used multiple times in my writing over the last fourteen years of again ignoring recent a falling for reasons he is in ignorance all of the data that you already had before him. That's enough. The player isn't waiting. Think years it's not with that one year is just actually contained. Still Fall for that because all of these are things that are just make every human if you're if you're human you can fall for these things because that's how our brains are wired and it's about changing your mental processes to Improve Your Decision. Making you may fall for the vice. Then you catch yourself before you actually make the decision. The book is the inside game. Keith Law is one of the best in the business at covering Major League Baseball. He works for the athletic. There are a number of things that I want to get into with you here. We were just talking about Kershaw but you know basically in your book you talk about for every Clayton Kershaw. There's probably nine or ten other guys that were drafted out of high school as pitchers that have flamed out completely. Why do you think that is? That was a thing that continuously happened. The general managers continuously chose starting pitchers in the first round out of high school. Why was that a problem so for so long? So the the the phenomenon I'm talking about there is called base rate neglect where teams look at the individual pitchers. They'd go scout the individual pitchers and fall in love with the pictures they see and don't and talking about high school pitchers here. Don't stop and look at the overall data for high school pitchers which shows that they fail at much higher rates than any other category college hitters. College pitchers them high school hitters. Those groups all get to the majors at higher rates and succeed at higher rates than high school pitchers do what ultimately happened addition to just flat out neglecting. This base rate overall rate of high school pitchers teams do Kinda Fall in love at the individual prospect. And that's what happens with all draft classes. It's just more damaging when it happens with a high school pitcher. Which is you go. Seen a guy like Clayton. Kershaw you go see I like even the Martin and you convince yourself different. This one is the exception. This is the kid who's going to be so much better than the rest of the high school pitchers things. Sometimes you do that. You're white you get a Kershaw. Medicine Bumgarner the majority of the time you do that in the first-round you're wrong and the opportunity cost is higher. The player you could have taken in the first year on instead of that High School. Pitcher is much better. You take that high school pitcher in the second or third different story. The opportunity cost of the player. You might have taken otherwise. He's not as high and that's why taking high school pitchers after the first round is perfectly sound strategy. Because you're just not giving up as much when you do that. My favorite one in the book is something. I've had conversation had with my Buddy. Shembe who I'm sure you know very well to is the case for robot umpires like we literally did a bit about this like fifteen years ago. I on radio. It was pretty hilarious. But why don't we have that in tennis? They have the eye in the sky. You can judge if a ball is like. I don't understand the technology is there. Why hasn't baseball gone to this assistance? From a lot of groups there's resistance from obviously Umpire's Union. There's some resistance from players. I would talk to people at Major League Baseball. Who worry the technology? Maybe isn't quite good enough. It's going to change the way the game appears to fan. I think ultimately gus you won't be a disruption right the first year that we have automated calling balls and strikes which I think we'll see within the next. Let's see two three seasons at most the first season it'll be different right. It will be an adjustment for fans to see that happening to see the slight pause for the home plate on fire signals and the fact that the hitter might turn around one to argue with the umpire. But there's nobody to argue however ultimately I think the technology is good enough that we would have no worse results in terms of calling balls and strikes and it's based on my conversations with people that Major League Baseball. The errors would be much more consistent and more tolerable that pitch that splits the strike zone that you because it's Oh to the empire just doesn't call it a strike because of anchoring bias considering the count in making this call and that hitch that call it never missed anymore with an automated strikes on the calls that are going to be the ones right on the edges of the strike zone. There's no one's you'd expect them to being this even without improvements in the technology and it's possible we see some of that here if we ended up getting this biosphere quarantine baseball anyway. So I think people may need to get used to it to lastly Keith Law. Joining us here of the athletic again. The book is the inside game. It's fantastic make sure you check it out and if you didn't read his. First Book Smart Baseball. You should as well too. I know you're a big board game enthusiasts. We're clearly living in times where we could use a couple of board games to play with the family. What are you suggesting? That C seven wonders since my all time. Favorite board game plays only at about half an hour. It plays up to seven people. You need at least three which is obviously not ideal for everybody. But if you've got a big family and some older kids maybe who are orange board games or want to be seven wonders. Tremendous and ticket to ride is when I recommend lots of people because it's very easy for younger kids to play by the time they're about five or six they can start to play along. You're matching colors on cards against colors on the board and placing trains on a map of the United States or a map of Europe. It's really quite simple to learn. The rules are only about a page. Long is a little bit of strategy for adults to sort of stay interested but enough randomness if kids. Don't get left too far behind. I've played it with very young kids down to age five or so. And maybe they don't win but they feel like they can play along and everyone loves placing trains on the map. It's train game but just like speaks to something that most kids like. The book is inside game. Keith law one of the best in the business at covering Major League baseball check out the book wherever you can find your books whether it's online or eventually may be able to go to a bookstore. You could find it there too. Hey man thanks for stopping by really appreciate it. Mike. Thanks for having me. You gotTA TAKE. Care of their is Keith Law. Joining us here coming up next. I got a couple of things I wanNA get into that. We haven't gotten a chance to get into yet including the PAC twelve screwing things up potentially for. Yeah I'll tell you what that means in a second. We're back in two minutes. I love how people are getting creative on giving Greg Els. I WANNA shout out Sheriff Wade. He goes by the handle at reef. Ism and hero wrote dearly beloved Greg. I'm here to tell you you got the L. And it's a Gif of purple rain. It was very clever very well. Played still wrong but as well played. Thanks to keep law for Georgia's there You missed any of our interviews. Today you can go check out the entire interview on demand section on this show. Podcast apple podcasts. Espn APP spotify. Google wherever you get your podcast brought to you by capital one quicksilver card earning a limited one and a half percent cashback on every purchase everywhere. What's in your wallet? And don't forget to tune into the last dance behind the scenes. Look they're a documentary of the ninety Chicago Bulls Dynasty the series continues Sunday at six PM on. Espn television and listen to the wrap up show with sleep one myself immediately following the broadcast on ESPN. Los Angeles is twitter account presented by state farm. At and T. Sing Choral Tequila and Coors lite. So Greg You sent me this story about the PAC twelve now. You and I have had this discussion about the PAC twelve a number of times. I feel like they really bad job with the PAC twelve network. Nobody can see it. It's weird it's not on direct. Tv is it on spectrum. I know it's on frontier. I don't even know where it's on like most people can't find it. It's really challenging so the story. Today I read that you sent me was on Yahoo. And they're saying that apple is trying to get in the game with PAC twelve and that they would broadcast exclusively all their games on Apple TV. So you would no longer be able to watch the PAC twelve games on. Espn or Fox. Sports that they would exclusively be on apple. Tv now look there's some pros and cons to that all right? The pro czar apple TVs four ninety nine if you really love the PAC twelve. It's four ninety nine. You know where you can get it. The cons are this though if your ESPN and Fox and you no longer have rights to the PAC twelve. And it's exclusively on a digital platform. That's not yours. What's your incentive to talk about the PAC twelve unless one of your teams is in the national championship hunt right like you don't have that incentive anymore and let's face it whether it's fair or not because of these rights deals teams excuse me corporations and news outlets and media outlets particularly media outlets like ESPN and TV companies like ESPN and Fox are incentivized to talk about a product that they're going to put on their television right then when it comes to promoting their particular game and the ways they promote that particular game they can promote it by doing a feature on vers Ucla or Washington versus Oregon or they can have Mario Cristobal Honor Clay Helton on or whoever right to talk about whatever that's going on with their upcoming game or the conference as a whole you're not gonna get as much of that if you're not on the big time networks like you're going to lose some visibility. It's kind of what happened with hockey so hockey if you remember left. Espn back in the ninety s and went on something called the oil in the outdoor life network which eventually became verses which eventually became NBC sports. Now got better when it was NBC sports because people can at least associate with that and find it but it was a disaster initially early on. Now it's a different age and there's a lot of people with apple TVs and a lot of people that subscribe to the service. I just wonder you know even though it's priced right. I just wonder if it's worth it. Yeah I see the pros to it because you know the country is going away from digital cable anyway already. They're already going to cutting the cord for a lot of people and so I get it. I see why they WANNA do it. But this is just the PAC twelve getting their own way as they always always do is to. Your point is very solid that. Espn doesn't WanNa talk about PAC twelve. Anyway there's an East Coast bias now if you think there's an east coast by now it's just GonNa get worse right. The West Coast bias will be. It's actually the west coast by you're biased against the west coast if you buy for the House too. So I'm not going to take a neutral position there but the the but yeah. If you think it's bad now it's only gonNA be worse if they go strictly on Apple TV. Yeah because I mean I'll be able to watch it a lot easier because I can't watch PAC twelve network now. It's a disaster if I go. I HAVE APPLE TV. I can walk. I. I'm going to ask the audience right now. We only have five minutes left in the show. Eight seven seven seven ten. Espn eight seven seven. Seven ten three seven seven six if the PAC twelve when strictly on apple TV? You couldn't get it on Fox. You couldn't get it on. Espn would you be in favor of that? It's four ninety nine a month. Would that be something that is better for you than the current setup eight seven seven hundred ten? Espn eight seven. Seven seven three seven seven six. So you Bergman You. You've cut the cord you'd be okay. You have apple TV. I do have apple TV. But I also put. Here's the other part of it though. Is You have the ESPN APP. I have the ESPN APP. I can watch if UCLA's playing on ESPN. I can watch it so they need to be able to have. Certain Games needed still be allowed to be played on. Espn or Fox or whatever it happens to be because otherwise it's just a disaster because here's the thing. Older people aren't watching on Apple TV and older people are the people who are boosters. Who have money and they'd be like. Why are we audience? Spn and Fox. Why are we on just apple TV? I get there's money but they initially the money sounds good and the money might be right but at the end of the day. They're going to be like well. We're not getting talked about. And you know what boosters love is to get talked about. Yeah and Larry. Scott is the commissioner of the pack. Twelve everything wrong. He's going to share this up two interesting note. I just saw here. We've been spending a lotta time whenever we do talk about the draft. We've talked about two versus Herbert. And we were talking about you know. I think the dolphins and chargers are gonNA take one or the other now. I would still take over Herbert. And we're going to have a ton of draft gas as the week progresses. Because you know look I just don't know how much you guys are really into the draft and if you want more draft talk like I'm good with that like I'm willing to do it I just don't I. I'd like to you guys tweet me at Sodano and just tell me what you think because I I feel like this you know I understand that. There's not a lot of content right now. I just don't know how much of an appetite. There is a draft talk on Monday and Tuesday of draft. Week when the rams don't have a first round pick and most of you don't care about the chargers now I know. The raiders have two first round picks that we've talked a lot about that over the last couple of weeks. And maybe because of that we can discuss it more. But I'd like to start talking more draft tomorrow and clearly Thursday and Friday but I am curious to see how you guys feel about the draft talk but Anyway Vegas has come out not vegas but a sportsbook has put out odds and now all of a sudden it looks like just in. Herbert is the guy ahead of to to be the second. Qb taken this is from David Purdham. Who'S OUR ESPN gambling guy? It's just it's not a proper way to describe is title but I'll just go with that it says entering April sports books had to As the big favorite to be the second quarterback taken in the NFL draft and by the way there is a lot of gambling going on on. Who's being drafted? Where like that is a big thing right now because let's face it. You can't gamble on sports. I'll tell you what I gambled on this weekend horse racing. I throw a few bucks on some races. Have a friend. Who's a big horse racing guy? He just told me about it and it worked so that might be a bad vice to take up but anyway. Here's the rest of the story three weeks later. The odds have dramatically shifted. Oregon's Justin Herbert has overtaken to as most sports books. Now have him as a small favourite to be the second quarterback taken draftkings. Mgm HAVE HEARD AT MINUS Twenty five ahead of two while points. Bats has them listed as co favorites. So Point Betts had to as minus six fifty to be the second quarterback drafted just a couple of weeks ago. So you know Herbert getting a Lotta love smokescreen. There's no way you can convince me that just in Herbert now. He may have a higher ceiling. Because he's he's not as good a quarterback right now and because he's big and tall and all that stuff but I just don't buy Bergman that going after Herbert. Could you imagine though that if it did if he fell all the way to number? Twelve to the raiders. And this whole thing plays out of what we've been talking about for the last week and a half two weeks man it would be listening. It would be great for the raiders. Nick Sabin said it. If you onto it's going to be on. The dolphins passed on drew. Brees and he can. He should know that he was the coach right. I mean and also mean as saying that. The raiders should just fold altogether. If they don't take two of us there if he gets the twelve they might as well. Just fold shock totally. Imagine that happening to all right. We're done here. Thanks to law for joining us. Thanks to you guys for always tuning in and being there for US and calling in. We appreciate it. Thanks to Greg and Laura. We'll talk to you tomorrow Tennessee.

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