17 Burst results for "Laura Gassner"

"laura gassner" Discussed on The Voicebot Podcast

The Voicebot Podcast

03:39 min | 10 months ago

"laura gassner" Discussed on The Voicebot Podcast

"Else has changed from. Your perspective is being a user in september in december and january and february over that time in terms of the way people are using clubhouse aside from the volume. Yeah back in september up until november. I you could if you were in a room you kind of expect people to jump out just random people who are very interesting and now it's becoming harder to find those interesting conversations just Serendipitous louis and i think these are serendipity has moved into clubs Which which is a good thing. You're able to you know nano down in silo on people that you are interested in meeting and make that Interaction happened within clubs. But i do miss the time where you know. We just opened a rule within random celebrity drops in and out and you have the opportunity to interact with like musicians or artists and know that type of interaction doesn't happen bus anymore. It's even just in my brief time using clubhouse things have changed a little bit. We have this this Analogy of a room and it depends on which way the chairs are facing Are are there are. There are a couple chairs on stage and then facing an audience with lots of chairs or is it a like a circle and it seems like there are some there are some small rooms where it still in a circle and everybody really interacts and people drop it it out but for the but i would say even over the last five or six weeks. It seems like it's really changed significantly where there's a lot more stage focused rooms where it's about the high profile people. The people that followers maybe celebrities really talking to the room and then occasionally brings up on stage whereas it seems to me. They're still out there. But there's there's not as high a proportion of the types of rooms where it's just about everybody getting together and talking. Yeah i've certainly seen that as well and get a maybe that's a good From the point of monetization where creators can monetize and kabul certainly wants that You know for creators to be able to monetize their show on but for me. That is really unfortunate. Because mom i now have to work harder to find people to interact with and jining clubhouse like I think the best way to have a to have a good experience on clubhouse like one must have a clear like our goal with like what they're looking out of their couples experience for me. It's very simple. It is to substitute social activity. you know with the pandemic like i was not going out does not hang out with friends and so i saw clubhouse is a way to meet interesting people and you're just lifted that i didn't wanna know grotesque. I didn't have the intention of going in and immediately monetize ing and so just staying true to my intention has been difficult. But it's certainly possible and i honestly can't imagine a pandemic without called

nine pm Today wednesday march third Balaj laura gassner four billion dollars today Both One over three hundred million car Tier one Central european Pm eastern time Savage adam third march clubhouse six twelve noon past
"laura gassner" Discussed on The Voicebot Podcast

The Voicebot Podcast

05:27 min | 10 months ago

"laura gassner" Discussed on The Voicebot Podcast

"We have another episode of voiced by live coming up on wednesday march third and another on march tempt which actually hasn't been announced officially yet. But you know because you're listening to the podcast. Both are three. Pm eastern time. That's twelve noon pacific. It's nine pm. Central european time on the third. We have sanjay. Want the ceo of a four billion dollars. Tier one auto supplier with voice tech- in over three hundred million cars on the road. He's joined by simon urine jer. He's ahead of voice interactive experiences in the car at bmw. It's going to be a great session. Voiced by live. It's not a webinar or online conference. It moves fast share unpublished data and voice adoption. We have really insightful gas. We had a great session for episode. One this is going to be just probably better. I'm really looking forward to its. Don't forget to register at voiced. By day i ford slash live voiced by day i force last live. We're talking about voice in the car. It's going to be i opening. Okay my i guess. Today is address. Balaj he's a mathematician and analyst closely tracking the user numbers for clubhouse today he shares his latest data and how the platform is evolved over. The past. six months. Following does rush. Is laura gassner adding pretty much everywhere including clubhouses l. g. o. She should look for. She's a bestselling author of popular keynote speaker and the founder of limitless possibility. She runs some of the most popular rooms and clubs and clubhouse so you'll be really excited to hear from her and some of the ways that she's platform and rounding out today's gases adam. Savage adam is a growth marketer contributed entrepreneur media and the founder of the best of clubhouse newsletter and website broad discussion with him about how he and other people but largely how are using the platform and how social audio's evolving very quickly next up the latest clubhouse user numbers how people are engaging with the platform and what are the current trends. Let's get started.

nine pm Today wednesday march third Balaj laura gassner four billion dollars today Both One over three hundred million car Tier one Central european Pm eastern time Savage adam third march clubhouse six twelve noon past
"laura gassner" Discussed on Build Business Acumen Podcast

Build Business Acumen Podcast

11:44 min | 2 years ago

"laura gassner" Discussed on Build Business Acumen Podcast

"Yeah and I think it's important to kind of just I think about that because for me. I like to always be learning always be stretching my brain so for me as my comforts I I'm in my comfort zone and being out with my comfort zone. If you get me yeah people they get confused and for some people being in the comfort zone much just be very right calm and relaxed they might not want to learn loads and loads of different things and it's like it's it's very difficult one and Edgy into the life coaching kind of realm while we yeah yeah but I think it's more I think it's I think it's it's more than just sort of life coaching. I think it's saying that you cannot grow and change. If you keep doing the same thing and and yet we get you know if you live in that center of excellence and you continue to do something well. You get promoted because you know you just keep passing the line. Somebody leaves leaves you get promoted and in each of those new positions were asked to do things were at asked a stretcher management shops or to take on more clients or to have have a bigger catchment area or whatever it is that we're doing this. You know you get paid or you get a better title because you're asked to do more so we're going to have to do things are uncomfortable anyway the way we're going to have to be in a space of growth and learning and so if we can do it in a place in our in our in our in our life where we can be uncomfortable learning learning new things in when we have to do it in our work. It's not as hard yeah I like that a lot of a friend of girlfriend cooled could eric cried and he he he's basically these airplanes and stuff like that and he's like you know you really need to learn how to fly what he said to me. No I don't really need to learn how I I actually really do yeah and if you look at the cost of it's actually it's actually cheaper than buying new call like if you if if you if you buy a new car every couple of years right you probably would have more money in your pocket if you learn how to fly an airplane and had an airplane right so so depending on the size of the plane so so he said to me right you need to sign up to this website and you need to learn about all of these different things and I signed up to it and I did all these tests and I was like. Oh wow this is really hard like really really hard so I think it's really good to just check like learn done something new everyday. Just learn something new because it's exciting select see how far we've come in the last. What Fiftieth Twentieth Twenty Years Five years even like how much more information is available now and before we had the Internet you know I was actually asked on a podcast. I told you I've done over over for over fifty podcast in the run-up to launching limitless and I got asked in one of them pretty early on will what advice would you give your twenty year old self listening to this podcast and I said what advice would I give my twenty year old listening to a podcast that was recorded over the Internet that I'm listening to on my mobile device. like none of those things existed what I was doing. We have has to learn new things because even if we know are still super well and wanted to do the same thing over and over again for seven years which frankly evolution doesn't allow US take anyway but even if that were the case the world around us changes so much that we're going to be forced to learn new technology. We're going to be forced to understand how how to do work differently and so you know being in this place where we can continue to learn is okay but it takes a mindset shift of saying failures finale its fulcrum. It's funny. I gave this talk a couple months ago. In Texas Aquino talk about forty five minutes and I get to this point point run talking about how failures not finale fulcrum and the importance of learning and growing and changing and I am as soon as I say the line. I look over its days left and I noticed in the audience. It's an astronaut astronaut had commander Tim Cobra of NASA has been on not one not two but three spacewalks and I save a behind look over them and I was like oh except for you. Sir Free Failure would most definitely be finale with for everybody everybody else in the room all one thousand nine hundred ninety nine other of you failures fulcrum and but I so so it's a really important thing into think about this idea of you know as long as they're still breath on your body. There is something that you can learn from failure from iteration from growth from change range and mostly. It's how do I do things better and that's why studies have shown that the most successful entrepreneurs are not the the the kid in the dorm thing. He's GonNa invent the next facebook. It's not somebody saying I'm just GONNA event. You know I'm not gonNA. I'M GONNA be Mark Zuckerberg and it's all going to be great in fact the most successful entrepreneurs first I on Mercer in their late thirties and part of it's because they can self finance it but part of it's because they know themselves and they understand what they do well and then they ought they don't do well and they've learned over time how to surround themselves in compliment themselves with people who can who can who can be additive where they've got weaknesses one hundred percent. I mean I've met some exceptions to that. I met I was trying to the CEO of lesson -ly about a couple of couple of interviews super instant guy. I think he's I think like twenty nine. Now sure I mean of course they're going to be exceptions but I think we look at those exceptions and we say oh we'll every twenty nine year old can do that when they can't and frankly I would. I don't know for a fact but I would stake money that he wasn't just surrounded by other twenty nine year that he might have had a few grey hairs vice along the way tale. Oh Yeah Yeah I mean I think having a growth mindset one thing but you've got. You've gotTa have mental. 's coaches advisors in all these people are Super Important Amini. You need people in the business that you're in and also outside the business as well. Yeah I think we make that mistake and we think that your mentor can only be in your line of work and I think it's helpful to have a champion in your line of work because that's the person who says well you know we've got this project coming up in reply to decide who gets the promotion based on. Who Does the project well. Let's make sure Nazi signs of the project right like that's your champion. They need to be in your line of work to be in your business but I think having mentors that are outside of your business is really helpful because they they can bring a different perspective. They've got some distance they probably don't have any skin in the game and and I think that they can bring to you a new way of looking at things which which is is more creative most often very much so you know but I think if you if you if you look back like an you you you went back ten years than you said to yourself ten years ago. Hey Laura you wrote a book. You're going to do this and you're gonNA be on fifty fifty six podcasts in in months and you're going to be a best seller a nudist off right. What would you have said to yourself. How would have laughed so hard. I by the time I pick myself off the floor from laughing I I would have. I probably would have called you a liar. There's no possible way you know ten years ago. I was running an executive search firm. I knew I wanted to figure out an exit strategy but I hadn't quite figured out how to do do that yet and it was still a couple years before I approached my business partner and said we gotta figure out a way for me to get out like I'm done. I've been done for a while I you know at every major decision point. I've had I've I've ended up taking on a new role in new I would venture a new challenge for which I had precious little qualifications and mostly. It's because that's what interested me like my calling is to be like you to be constantly learning challenge trying new things and I would imagine a lot of people listening to this podcast fall into the same category because that's why they're listening to podcasts like this. They're trying to learn and grow and so for me. I was always interested in jobs where I wasn't that qualified because if if I was a qualified it's because I'd already done it and I love the puzzle. I love figuring it out. I am as surprised as anyone that that I have turned turned a a a life of being raging introvert into being somebody who goes on podcast and national live TV and ECON stages the thousands of people. It's it is it is hilarious to me. That said I wrote the book because I couldn't not write the book it it poured out of me in like three weeks. I just it was it was it. These are lessons that I've learned throughout twenty five years of my career of seeing so many people people at every level of their careers a major moments career shifted understanding what was driving the changes that they were looking to make when I was trying to write purpose had to do work that matters it was really hard and it wasn't working. We were going back and forth. I couldn't make it happen and then when the book shifted to being limitless USC had to ignore everyone carve your own path of live your best life it poured out of three weeks and and the truth is it took me three weeks to write but it took me twenty five years and three weeks to create yeah. It's not the Cassocina well. Would I feel quite flatter to be compared to the castle at all. If you heard the story Laura I haven't no he was in he was in a restaurant in Paris and this this lady will talk to them and said Hey can you can you tell me a picture on this not Kenya so cast drew a picture on this Napkin. I think it was a tough but could be role and and then he said okay great heritage. That's hundred thousand francs plays and this woman said what do you mean two hundred thousand francs to three seconds and Pacific. No it took me like my whole life to be able to do that in yes and that's the point. I'm making and it's like you know. I don't think I don't think many people have got to the stage in their lives where weather actually know what they WanNa do and and I think you've just got to try and just enjoy everything that you're doing everyday right. You've got to try that. That's thus get a lead you to best things isn't it and understand that there may be lessons that your on boarding now today that seem completely irrelevant but five years from now ten years from now fifteen years from now. You'RE GONNA look back and go oh. That's how this all works together. Yeah I agree one hundred percent so what would you. What would you say. He pulled out. How how do you actually ignore everybody..

facebook Texas Mark Zuckerberg NASA CEO commander Aquino Kenya Tim Cobra partner executive Mercer USC Laura I Paris three weeks ten years one hundred percent
"laura gassner" Discussed on Build Business Acumen Podcast

Build Business Acumen Podcast

13:10 min | 2 years ago

"laura gassner" Discussed on Build Business Acumen Podcast

"You can watch Ted talks. You can take a class without feeling you have to go back to the degree. You can ask to tag along to a meeting you can you could you could ride the elevator with your Boston. Ask questions about how decisions are arm as you get some insights into whether or not your work really does feel connected. There are loads of things that we can be doing right now at our side quests so that when we're ready to trump on the course and go to the castle and slay the Dragon and save the Princess we can go at full speed agree hundred percent. I mean and I think a lot of people the major issue with a lot of people as they actually so tired when they get home from work I mean we've all been there right off. Bin Now you know and actually makes it difficult to fall in the energy so study but things have changed the last ten years now. You can listen to poke costs when you did the dishes right you can. There's so much information now that we are spoilt will actually spoilt for choice. We can listen sincil experts like you speaking an explaining things to the world for free like everywhere you go. There is a direction you can take but only to come back to what you want to wade. He wants to go and and then I think you just get on with it like you just get stuck in Ryan start learning and learning learning and then one day you like wow I've been studying now. I've done ten thousand hours now like I already know what I'm talking about. Yeah and I think that I think that here's the thing you can't be insatiably hungry for someone else's goals for somebody else's dreams. Ms For someone else's life. It's got to be the thing that you want and so the Nice thing about the side quest. Nice thing about studying the nice thing about the fact that the barrier of entry entry is so low because it's free you can learn about something and you can decide twenty minutes into the podcast. You know what I always thought that I was fascinated hit by this that and the other it turns out. I don't care and you can turn it off. move onto the next thing. The commitment is very very low. I I think that we are we are raised to feel like failure is finale. If we you know at some point we demonstrate competence in thin and and we get hired for it and we get praised for it and we get promoted for it and we get paid for it and we think okay. I have to keep doing that string right right whether you're a hospital worker whether you're CEO whatever it is that you're doing we have to. We have to keep doing that thing. Step to the right. You're GONNA fail steps. The less you're going to fail also keep doing that thing no matter what and then you know and so we spent over time living in our center of excellence perfect that but then think about our children our children in school they fail all day long every day right and they never spent any time resting. They never spent any time wallowing. They've figured out Algebra. It's time for geometry. You've got the arbitrary. It's time for trigonometry. You've got trigonometry. Lookout Calculus is in the house right they just keep iterating rating and learning and so what they learn is that they learn to be comfortable in the discomfort they learn to live on the very bleeding edge of their of their incompetence and because they spend time in the edge of their competence they understand that failure is not finale but failures fulcrum and so I would urge Komo who were thinking you know. I'm not really happy where I am but if I change something I might fail to say well actually in that failure as soon as I stopped not living into everyone else's definition of success. I can actually make room for my own so we're really talking about first week. Defining what success looks like and then we're actually talking about growth mindset. That's really down to the to the bottom of it right. I think that's part of it. I think I think we have to figure out what success looks like for us for a look. I read lean in in two thousand thirteen and I I really wanted to love it. I really thought I was supposed to love it. I I was part of the Army of women. We all loved it but I didn't and I didn't love it not because of the privilege ready to other the other things have been furniture Sandberg. I don't I don't fault her for that. I think she was right to use every bit back. As the accessing privileged she has to define success I did that I succeeded that way albeit with a few leros my h but but but I still I still threw myself into everything and then I looked around one day and I went okay. Well you know as I said I'm at the top of the top. What so for me. It's it's it's saying there are many definitions of success and that's singular myopic vic unflinching definition that the fastest most expedient packed to the corner office is the only one I think limits all of us were limited by other people's ideas of ambition and we're limited by other people's anxieties were limited by other people's hopes and fears and dreams and I think in those limits lose ourselves and so the first step is to is to ignore nor everybody else and decide. What does success mean for you. It may mean working in a job that you hate because it gives you a salary you love. It made me working for a cause that is so true to you you but you know eating ramen soup because that's all you can afford it can be lots of different things but each one of us will define success differently and I want people to lean into and then the second part is to have this growth mindset into figure out what what does that mean you need to change in word you need to grow in order to live into that definition and and and the the bounds of everybody else's and then finally it really is figuring where it is that you're at your best when you are at your happiest yes you're most joyful your most engaged because we know that workers who are engaged are twenty two percent more profitable and productive for their companies. So where is it that everything everything that you do. Well in everything that you love is being called upon to to to serve the problem at hand and that's really when you can live your best life because that's when you're in your fundamental state of leadership disting- that Harvard Business Review defined as as when all of us everything that we do well more firing. I'll fill under massive the thing that's needed. That's when you really can limitless and live your best life yeah and just enjoy what do I don't. I think so many people also of off too hard on themselves like you you you. You need to just sit back and say well Geno. Will it's okay. I'm not doing that right now. It's okay and and tomorrow's another day and I'm going to move towards my goal everyday and when they're gonNa get you know and also it's okay that I'm not doing what I love right now but it's also a cave that I don't love what I was doing before and I want to change that like at every age every life stage. We're GONNA in want and need different things so when I was twenty one years old and I was volunteering on a present nightsticks presidential campaign I had all the calling in the world I was was up to my ears and idealism but I was worth my weight and Rahman Soup. I mean that was all I can afford but I didn't care because I was frying couch surfing. I was fine plane wearing dirty clothes. I was fine not having any control over whether or not I was being flown to Mississippi Montana to run events because I was so so all in about about what I was doing now as approaching fifty. I care a lot more about you know the kind of hotels I stay in the kinds of planes lanes I travel on and and whether or not if I'm going on stage have to take fourteen flights to get there with the big crowd like my what makes me happy now and my nourishment that success and where how I WANNA show up in my personal life and my professional life are completely different and my guess is not there yet but twenty years now's marriage. I'm approaching seventy. I'm going to be thinking completely differently about these things as well and so I think I want. I just want people to let themselves off. The Hook a little bit and and say just because I trained to be X. doesn't mean it's bad if I'm now wanting to be y. Yeah I mean I think also also we've. We've got so talk about people who you hang out with right because this age old thing they either you say that you're the some of the five people you hang out with the most of the ten people you hang out with the vice dry and for personal experience I abic. I've lived up so many times in my life about she changed who was hung out with those old friends. They do remain but I think that if you want to grow business and you want to build a massive business or you want to be the CEO WE WANNA do that. You need to change change. Your friends change what you watch on television. Deng what's television the toll be more selective in ways binge on you know and these things I fou- food for me. Absolutely crucial couldn't agree more. I believe wholeheartedly that if you are the smartest the person in any room you're in the wrong room. Just I really believe that and I think that if you WANNA raise your game you gotta be with people who are ahead of you. I think it's totally fine to spend time with people that you're mentoring and that your champion that you're helping you grow as well but boy. If you are not with people who who can look at you and see your greatness and push you to be the best version of yourself that you can be not the best version of themselves but the best version of yourself yourself. I think that I think that you're really giving yourself. short shrift. I do believe that that every time I've ever or made a significant change in my life and found success in it it's because I surrounded myself with people who were good at what they did head and were good in their hearts as well yeah and then that it doesn't matter what industry they're in. I mean that's the thing is a lot of people very industry specific cannot and it's like well actually you can you can find people who might even have a job. They might just be working for charity. They might they might be on unemployment living benefit but if you see something within them like uncle friend in the local church in spent ten years in jail He's helping with homelessness projects the jets in in in my city either he's launched himself any completely changed and like you know. Don't be afraid to just hang out with like totally different. People is what I'm saying but be careful because you know you become who you hang out with right like you really do and I I really think that greatness and accountability and and Brilliance really knows no bank account balance silence means nature. You can find you there. There's a quote that goes something like everybody. Everybody you come in contact knows a a lot about something you know nothing about really. I believe that to be true and and I think that we spent a lot of time watching the stuff that we already know we go to we go. We'll leave. Were Re. Watch movies that we love our we we talked to about books that we've already already seen or maybe we'll watch. Episodes of TV shows that we've already seen before because it's just it's comfortable in. It's safe and you know that's fine. There's a space for that but I found found myself usually go going to ted. Dot Com and watching. Ted Talks and I would always watch talks about stuff. I know about I go. I know lots about talent and I know a lot about human human potential and I know lots about happiness. I'm GonNa Watch lots of talks about those things and then I realized all I'm doing sitting staring at my screen or listening to my ear buds on my commute nodding in agreement but I'm not learning anything new so I forced myself to start listening to Ted talks on on string theory in physics and space travel all and mathematics and where does creativity come from and things that were uncomfortable to me and pushed me and and yet I found founded the more I listened to them the more curious dot about them and so I just this space of being this this idea of being uncomfortable I think is a good space face to be in. If you're if you're unhappy get more uncomfortable. I think better advice than you know. Seek low ground those funny of she go friendlies. He's Britain's leading hypnotists might and and we we talked about the the kind of the white everybody. He is sort of you know. Anthony Robbins and people encourage everyone to be outside of their comfort zone..

Ted Talks CEO Boston wade Harvard Business Review Anthony Robbins Ryan Army of women Britain Komo Mississippi Montana Rahman Soup Deng ten years one day twenty two percent twenty one years
"laura gassner" Discussed on Build Business Acumen Podcast

Build Business Acumen Podcast

12:00 min | 2 years ago

"laura gassner" Discussed on Build Business Acumen Podcast

"I want every single minute that jobs not going to be interesting to Dan because the money and the time and flexibility these things have to be attached to meaning and so we can look at numbers and say salaries this or the benefits benefits that of the prestige of the bread is this if if this is somebody in the final capstone of their career the prestige of the brand and where it impacts their career velocity it may matter less to them because they're not looking for the next job based on this job so each of these things will matter differently to each person and throughout the book book. I talk about this idea of confidence that we have to find ways four vs motivating this old scorecard of these metrics of success to actually be meaningful in our lives because once they're meaningful in our lives then we can be in consonance we can be in alignment we can flow can be doing the work that actually matters to US yeah yeah. That's that's. That's very very helpful so when when when it comes to yourself as an individual you know if you wake off every Diane. You're unhappy in your job right like you. You'd know it yeah so how can you can you just wake up one day and say you know we'll have to so. I'm just GONNA be happy and I'm going to enjoy the moment and I'm going to enjoy my day and and get get on with it. Can you just do that all giving. You may need to change jobs to achieve that now. I think you need to change frameworks for some people. You need to change jobs so the my book is sort of outlined three parts and the first talks about this idea of consonants and being limitless and end and what's gotten our way in the past the second part talks about the four elements that make continents which we can talk about in in depth call in connection contribution and control and then the third part says okay well if you're missing some of these things in effect you want to have more of them. You need it to change your career. Change your workplace or change yourself and I think the third part of that the change yourself is really key because that's the point when you say okay so many job that I don't necessarily love and I'm working for a boss that I don't necessarily love and I'm working for a mission. I don't necessarily love love but it's paying me a salary that I do love and that is the way that I can see this job contributing to the kind of work that I want or you may say well. I'm not making as much money as I really want but I'm able to manifest my values on a daily basis through this work and I understand how this job is going going to contribute to the velocity of the career trajectory that I'm looking to build and that's how it's contributing to my life right. It's it's it's thinking about the job in ways of love. This job doesn't have to be all things but it has to allow me to see at least into the future. This is helping me get to some kind of calling that I have and again that calling can be you know building a business. It can be staying home with your family. It can be it can be being an entrepreneur. It can be building a bottom line. It can be any of the things that you might WanNa. Do for your career but it's it's making sure that in this framework you understand how the worker doing connects to that and how the work that you're doing contributed a life that you wanna have makes sense makes sense yeah. It's it could be the people who are just working too to Holland. They might need to take a break. I mean happened to me just because I left myself a very rarely take time off because already enjoy do and a Ford dies off over Easter is for the longest time of actually taking off ages just relaxed done did no toll pretty much and came back and I actually just decided those going to be happy in doing. I'm not and had a real like light bulb moment yesterday like I was in a closed shop. An upward Sima dads went into this show up disgusted. So what did you do today to send a few emails and What else did I edited. It's some what's transcriptions. It was a good day and I kinda let 'em today and it was the first day I think for ages of ready settled into into what I'm doing and enjoyed it and did he look at you at the flick of pack like he had no idea what to do. Yeah she said to me. It was really funny. He said intimate he kinda. Wow that's really cool. He said I'M GONNA I'm finishing. My college costs in going to start. My business also like well. Let's go oh Britain rating that amazing yeah it was just one of those is it was just yeah it was it was a little yeah and I you know I. A and I look I take I take your point right the the if you love what you do then you really enjoy doing it. You know I think that that that that that trait statement if you if you love what you do you'll never work a day in your life. I mean I like work. I want to work every day. I love what I do. I feel so lucky to it'd be able to travel the world and speak from stages of the keynote speaker and and write books that people buy and read and email me the event how they changed their lives lives and I just feel so lucky to have this this career that I built. You know twenty five years building and it's not that I'm looking for work life balance. I I think work life balances this ephemeral fleeting ridiculous thing. I WanNa work life alignment where the what I do matches the WHO. I am so that I'm not constantly code shifting and changing costumes between the person at work in the personnel at home on my commute. I want to be able to be that kind of person both at home and it works that I'm learning things in both places that can augment my ability to perform in each of them and I think that I think that it's wonderful to take time off because I do think that we need rest and recovery but I also think that it's it's if the exhaustion is coming from not just the being busy but the time in between the being busy where you have to reinvent yourself each time the Nazi cause for not just taking time off but really reassessing. What's limiting you wrote. So what do you mean by that like reinvent yourself in between imagine the imagine the cancer doctor the oncologist to you know can't wait to get home because he likes to hang out with this is Thursday night Cigar Club right. I mean that's not the kind of person is gonNA be able to come into work on Friday morning and be himself mean that that that that is uncomfortable or if there's somebody WHO's working part time and maybe they had come in late to work on Friday because they went to a parent Teacher Association at their Kids School but at the parent Teacher Association at their kids could school they heard this amazing idea which actually set up a light bulb for them about something at work that they've been trying so hard to figure out in couldn't and they can't then Kelder boss where they heard about it because the boss will be mad at them about the fact that they were late because their parents and so that's what I need is the having a reinvent yourself in lake. Put yourself south in your work armor or put yourself in your home arm or not be the same person in both places. I think that if the work that you're doing if the what you do doesn't align in from way with who you are with the values that you have in the energy and the interests that you have it's just exhausting because you basically have to shove yourself into another costume each time go back and forth. That's the totally correct. It's very very hard. I for some people some people want. You're listening to this and they might be like look. I'm really I'm really unhappy with my job. So might be really happy yeah but's it's very difficult when you've got bills to pay you've go one kids or husbands and you know you make enough money that you you just getting by right like how you've got to study. You've we've got if if if you're not happy in that you're at right now and you don't think you've got the skills to get the job that you really want. If someone says you right what what would you like to do. I gave you anything that you could do. You woke up in the morning and it was the perfect diet for you right. What would puffy dilute like if you truly think well. I'm not sure I can do that. Perfect Day 'cause ought to have the skills to actually land that Joel to start that business. Whatever is is right then unique study like this no there's no shortcut to success in the biggest issue with all of these coaches mentors lentils in some instances and they they they almost they almost people just look like the pay pal founder Zakayev and they say oh I can build that I can launcher the next APP and become a billionaire and it's like well. Actually the reality of a bit is is is very different to what actually got an you know yeah absolutely and you know. I think what happens is this is success. Is this like squiggly line right if like if if everything above is imagine line that goes that goes across the page in everything above the the line with the giants that goes up and down everything above the line of success and everything below the line is hard work and failure and Rian iteration we see the only the success and we try to emulate that and we forget to see everything below the line and we don't realize if that's what it takes as well I think that there are you know look. I WANNA be real. There are plenty of people who are barely paying their bills who've had young kids at home who have aging parents who have you you know debt who have real issues that are stopping them from progressing into having the life that they want to have right now and I want to honor that because that's stuff is real. My the bank does not take good Karma in exchange for mortgage no matter how many times I ask so this is all the economics of reality real that said if your main request is to change your career and do something completely different. There are things that you can do right now. My sixteen year old is a passionate video game player and there was a day day where I woke up and I was just exhausted. I was tired. I had a bad night of sleep. I had too much spicy food than before. I was just I was not going to get anything done that day and over breakfast. I was bemoaning my lot life about how I was just going to be able to get this chapter that was done that I really needed to to to give to my publisher and he looked at me with the look on his face that can only described as mystified and he said so. Why don't you just a side quest today. I I said what's the side quest and this is where I learned the most beautiful analogy ever which is that if your main quest is to go to the castle and slay the dragon and save the princess but you can't do it yet because you're waiting for your friend to log on after dinner and he's busy still doing the dishes. There are things so you can do to prepare yourself for the main quest your farmer. You can send your crops. You can tell your week you can take it to the market. You can sell it for money money in exchange for that money you can buy things like a horse and a sword and potions and things like that so that when your friend finally finishes dishes logs on and it is there with you in cyberspace you can jump on your horse and go to the castle and slay the dragon and save the princess so there are tons of things that even if you're a place right now where you're like no. I can't do it. You can't study you can read books. You can listen to podcasts like this..

WanNa Dan Diane Holland Ford publisher Britain Cigar Club Rian Joel parent Teacher Association founder Kelder Zakayev Teacher Association lake Kids School twenty five years
"laura gassner" Discussed on Build Business Acumen Podcast

Build Business Acumen Podcast

10:57 min | 2 years ago

"laura gassner" Discussed on Build Business Acumen Podcast

"Ignore everybody coffee own path and live your best life deputy at number two on the Washington Post Bestseller list rights under Michelle Obama a bomb this really interesting episode and we really talking about Gro thinking here and I think you're gonNA love it. It's lovely to speak with you. Laura great beyond that so you gave me this amazing plausible that you thought would be really helpful for this. I think it might have been ignore. Everybody carve your own path in live your best life yes. That's that's what it is but like a lot of the people listening to this. GonNa be eh in organizations. They get a have to deal with people so how how do you kind of ignore everybody and do that whilst holding down a job. It's funny that you say that because this this the book was originally titled Purpose. How to do work that matters and you know bill. That's kind of a boring title really wants to buy a book called purpose added do work that matters but we all WanNa feel limitless and the way to fill limitless. This is to not be limited by everyone else's expectations of what success should be so the idea behind the title the book limitless had ignore everybody carve your own past and live your best life is that has to start by throwing out. Everybody else's definition of what success should be now. Obviously there are people in our lives that we have to listen to but we also get a choice about who those people might be if if we're working at a corporation and we don't think think our boss is right about we might have an option to talk to somebody else. We might have an option for look for another job. You might have an option to go within the organization and find a different type of job. Bob Inside of the same employment but we have choices in our life but even more so than that where we are today. I think it starts by asking who gave US news definitions initiative success way back when that told us to go to the right school pick the right trade pick the right college go to the Right University. Get the right job. You know go to the right you have the right house have the right to Cetera and then we look around and we will fight check up everyone else's boxes of success and I have a job that had you know on paper looks right and a resume. That on paper looks right. Why do I still feel like something's missing. Why am I part of the two-thirds of the workforce that are disengaged in my work and that starts by finger at what success actually means for us and then going towards the debt instead yeah yeah so so really really all of that stuff is just coming. When I was growing up my dad was like you go to university you need to get good grades and and the pressure that you fail tale from that sort of idea of someone else their image their idea is not. It's not necessarily what you have to do these days to be successful certainly in your own annoys right absolutely we could be really good at being successful as defined by other people and not feel like successes. I spent twenty years. Here's interviewing people in the world of executive search so I was interviewing people for C. Suite positions. These are the top of their games they had on paper success but they weren't happy and I was as evidenced by the fact they were sitting in my office looking for another job and I was calm. I was always fascinated by the dichotomy between success and happiness because I was told like you probably like so many people listening to this podcast that if you're successful successful if you lead in if you if you if you are you're all things all people and and say yes to every opportunity and and work as hard as you can and do do it early enough in your career. That pays dividends throughout if you do that. You'll be successful. You're successful when he gets to the top and I got to the top and I looked around and I said read the top of what this earlier I want to be and it's because I was in a job that gave me the the very traditional markers of success brand unperceived. Nice title good salary like all the things that I wanted and I looked around and I said well but I'm also working eighty hours a week and I'm killing myself and I'm not spending the time working for causes that I love helping it out of my community being present with my husband and my children is that really what I consider success assessed be and it made me to stop and say well you know with. Nobody on their deathbed says boy. I wish I spent more time in the office. Where do they wish they spent more time and and the places where they wished they spent more time and the traditional excellently define markers of success don't match up. Well looking say it's just it's it's. It's really serious. Topic this one and I think a lot of people they go through most of their career not actually knowing that purposes. I mean 'cause we're. We're talking around purpose on we really we we are and this is where the train goes off the tracks because most people say oh well purpose that's higher purpose in lofty purpose a has to have a picture of Mother Teresa feeding the lepers in India or maybe they're Saint Peter Parley Gates with his clipboard inventory judging whether or not you've had quote unquote good life life and here's the thing I spent twenty years helping people find incredible life changing jobs in nonprofit organizations and if that's what people want to do that I say absolutely amazing but I also know lots of people who have tons of purpose in their life who aren't doing anything that's quote unquote quote making the world a better place if your purpose is going out and helping cure cancer than icee gopher because we need that to happen if your purpose is working so that you you can get yourself and your family out of debt that you can live with financial flexibility and freedom for the first time in generation. I say go for it and if your purpose is buying a big house in a Maserati I take gopher that to your purpose doesn't have to be higher purpose or lofty. You don't have to wait until we've made our money to give back to. A nonprofit have to wait until we've had one kind of career that we have another kind of career that quote unquote of value. Your purpose is whatever your purpose. This is the only one who gets wrote about that. Is You right. I will agree. I'll agree with you on that. One I mean I think is is whatever makes you happy isn't it because it's kind of like everyone. Everyone is sort of like get into a job and it's like we'll all be happy when I'll be happy when I get to the weekend. I'm going to be happy when you know a reach the end of the year and get a promotion. It's like well. Why can't you be happy now like that's. That's just such major major thing yeah. I think I'll be happy when are the four worst words in the English language. I think that those four words kill your dreams before they even come out of your mouth and I think they start to their like a cancer on your dreams the first time he even think about them because if you know we're the problem is is that we should all be happy when and we assume. I can't be happy now right like has to be something wrong and I'm with you. Why can't we be happy now. You know I'm the kind of person who a hard time leaving lunch before. I decide what I'm having for dinner like. I have a very hard time leaving the I'll be happy now moment but I think even worse than that when we say all be happy when I get married. I'll be happy when I have the baby. Be Happy. When I get the job I'll be happy when I get the promotion. I'll be happy when I get the increase of salary. Those are all things that other people have told August will make us happy and it may be for example that you were the kind of person who loves to go on long weekends beautiful the full cosmopolitan European cities and that doesn't necessarily take a lot of time but it costs a lot of money to fly first class into stay in the four seasons the end to go in the fancy vacations or it may be that you're the kind of person who hates that kind of stuff and actually what you would rather do more than anything else is spent a week week two weeks three weeks hiking deep into the Alps hiking deep into the Colorado rockies hiking somewhere far away in waking up in the morning and making your eggs and Bacon over a fire next to a stream. That's not going to cost you a lot of money. It's going to cost you a lot of time so you may be saying. We'll all be happy when I get the next raise because that's what I'm told what I'm supposed to want but the truth is you might be happier changing to a different job where you're making the same amount of money or maybe even less but you get more vacation time uh-huh yeah but there's a little research isn't there insert into happiness and actually. I think it's something was it something like sixty thousand pounds. Maybe like eight hundred thousand indoor one hundred thousand dollars anything over and above that does not actually change your happiness. Apparently I think that's absolutely true and I think look. Here's the everything in twenty years of doing executive search I used to I used to listen for very specific motivational factors and if I heard a candidate eight saying that they were sort of keen on one or two I was like all right cool. I know we'll have a second conversation and if I heard three or four or five I was like Yep if they're qualified. I'd no problem I'm going to get out of my client and if I heard six or seven or like the holy grail of eight I was like a fish in the boat I am good. I don't have to worry about this any more I'm done but but here's the thing I would go to my candidates with this amazing job they'd never heard of before they picked up the phone and talk to this person person that they'd never heard of and I would try to get them to change their lives move across the country move across the world and take this job. Can I was wanting them to find meaning in the job. At I was checklist that was it and the checkless had things like the mission of the organization the the inspiration of leader leader the prestige of the brand new skills there might acquire the the scale of impact and growth you know things like personal flexibility the end and geography and personal benefits and of course money but again if I would go to somebody yeah I would say well if you're making one hundred thousand dollars now and what I'm John. That could have one hundred twenty thousand dollars but you have four expectation. This was only coming with two two and this person's got kids in high school and is thinking to themselves well. I I've I've I've already with sort of the financial. Ramifications of kids going to university university but I really feeling deep in my bones that I'm not gonna get to spend as much time as I want to..

executive cancer Right University Washington Post Bestseller Michelle Obama Laura Gro US Bob Inside Alps C. Suite Peter Parley Gates India Colorado twenty years one hundred thousand dollars one hundred twenty thousand do sixty thousand pounds eighty hours
"laura gassner" Discussed on Sharp The Podcast

Sharp The Podcast

04:44 min | 2 years ago

"laura gassner" Discussed on Sharp The Podcast

"I know that I couldn't live without my calendar. That's what I know could live without night. Okay. Why why one? Hello, and welcome to shop the podcast where we help you get a little better at the stuff you have to do. So you can spend more time doing the stuff you want to do. So now with the episode. Hello. Welcome to episode. Fifty five is fifty five. Yeah. Thank you, as fifty five blast proper episode we have with fifty four. Wasn't it with Laura gassner otting by in February? What where have we been? What if you listen to our polls episode star of my? I explained back, then I had low on too much, and I need to polls. That's why it's called Paul's. Well, how day you pose the plug cost as well as I said, I didn't take it lightly and not producing an episode for a few months, he's not something that I was particularly pleased about. But sometimes you say no to stuff having you. As I mentioned in polls, this podcast, doesn't generate an income for me is something I do for fun. And the fact that it helps us a bonus. But something had to give anyway. Never mind that we all back, and we've got a great episode for you. So I'm going to start with the question. What could be different in your life? If you could spend one whole extra week in a year, dedicated to the most important world that you do. What am I surprise you? But if he spent an extra ten minutes in each working day on important stuff that's the equivalent of a full working week in the year. Just doing important stuff spent an extra twenty minutes, a day on your important work, and that becomes two full weeks here and so on. This is not just about work stuff. If you spend thirty minutes a day in your personal life for five days a week doing something more important, or something more useful than maybe watching TV, or scrolling through social media now equivalent of almost eleven twelve hour days, a year just doing important stuff. Fun stuff. Family stuff, even life changing stuff. So that's the maths or math, our American friends, but how do we actually get this time back? How do we wrestle away from scrolling media or useless meetings or unhelpful chitchat, or whatever is fitting our time up at the moment? Well, one way, is by Kathleen, use of a calendar to plan to spend less time on seven stuff on the time-wasting activities that don't help and more time on the things that do help. So in this episode, we're gonna find out the difference between good use of calendar. And rubbish use will look different ways of eliminating the things that don't help you and will discover why in seventeen fifty to the UK lost eleven days that they never got back..

Paul Laura gassner UK Kathleen eleven twelve hour thirty minutes twenty minutes eleven days ten minutes five days
"laura gassner" Discussed on The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

12:03 min | 2 years ago

"laura gassner" Discussed on The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

"People, and it was it was it was it was masterful. He would never start an interview by asking people what they accomplished, but he would ask them to tell them about a mother father, a teacher of person of faith coach, a friend somebody who had some impact on where they were today what they were doing to ask them to tell us tell. In by traits that they got from people that they know and that they love and that they watched and he would ask them to talk about those moments in their life. When everything changed whether it was a diagnosis or an opportunity or a a a rural tragedy or something that put them on the path that they were on. And so I would watch him get these stories at people that they didn't normally tell and you would end up seeing what was at the root of where they are. And a lot of times it was gratitude for the whether whether it was a great experience or a terrible circumstance. But you would see that that was so formative to who they were. So these two models of sort of seeing people and approaching the world really became in my early twenties. Exceptionally formative to me, well, you actually anticipated a question that I was going to ask you who in your life. You you're grateful for the people that have had an impact in your life. And. And then I think this is wonderful that you speak so highly of of these people, and I think it's amazing how you speak about them. And I think that's actually granted you into practice. And and seeing the fact that they had such a big impact in your life, and you've managed to many things on on your own somehow end that you that you appreciate the people that were there for you. And that helped you get to where you are. That's that's that's really amazing. Yeah. I I'm I'm I am exceptionally lucky. You know mean I had I had parents that were that were supportive of me dropping out of law school in jumping on this campaign trail for the for the unknown guy from this tiny southern state. I mean, I've I've had I've been very lucky along the way I have an enormous amount of privilege, but I also I think that just on the subject of mentors. I think we I think I've been lucky to have these two who have who were in my life for years. I've also had incredible mentor ring from people who were not I wouldn't consider my mentors. But who were there in very specific moments in individual conversations who gave me mentoring moments. And so, you know, I a lot I get questions from a lot of people about, you know, how do you go about and find a mentor, and I my response is always will finding a mentor is great, but finding mentoring is even better. So even if it's just a conversation that people can get mentoring from listening to this podcast, right? There's any it could be. Reading books could be watching a talk. It's it's it's it's it can be individual moments. And so I think I have so many individual moments record look back and say that was a conversation that taught me something that I didn't even realize it taught me something until fifteen years later when all of a sudden I made a decision, and I realized that the framework in the decision making was based on that conversation from so long ago. Mets amazing. It's it's so true. Actually because a perspective like gratitude gives us can really change our live. How we see how we? Actually, get to experience it. And it's so true like talking with someone or listening to a conversation can have a really big impact. Of course, we have to be ready as well. And to be opened than to do something with that. Then you were that kind of person. But that does not a little bit more about your upcoming book limitless. Yes. So the book is based on this idea of these twenty years of interviewing people in thinking will success doesn't equal happiness. What does? And so the book walks the reader through the idea that first of all we've gotten success wrong because we've wrapped it up in in in these ideas of work life balance or following your passion or other such insidious tropes that are found by, you know, flaxen-haired flower crown beach wave women looking out over Coachella. And and and and I think. You know, as me m- worthy as those as those ideas. Are they are not the goal, right? They are they are they are. They are incomplete, and they don't give a path to get there. And so we fall back on what we've been told by parents or teachers or or sometimes mentors about what success look like in. It's usually what success is look like for them doesn't look like something completely different for us. And so, you know, whether it's saying leaning doesn't work or whether it's saying follow your passion is the world's worst advice or that work life balances ephemeral and at best or that action doesn't necessarily equal impact in don't get so convinced about the action, but focus on the impact that you wanna make it the first thing I do in the book is I is. I relieve people of the idea that they have to follow someone else's path to success. That's the head to ignore. Everybody part of the book. Then. And and you know, I I do think that there are people you should listen to those are people who are giving you positive advice in and in helping to to the mentoring and helping to sort of build the life that you want to have. But I want people to ignore all of the people that are defining successes. Buying a, you know, a fancy car and a beach house or only at the corner office or only jobs that serve the the the bigger world, or, you know, the only purpose person who gets a vote in what purpose should be in your life as you. And I want people to to stop giving votes to people who shouldn't even have voices in their lives. So that's the first part the second part, then unpack this idea of consonants saying that there are four things that make up your continents that I referred to earlier you're calling the connection the contribution and the control and everybody at every agent at every life stage is going to want and need these things differently. So when I was twenty one. Old working on that political campaign. I had all the calling in the world. I was so absolutely enamored with the idealism and the change the world ethos of the campaign. I had no connection to the work at all. I mean, I was fetching coffee. I was a gopher I was a peon. So I had zero like the work identity daily basis. Didn't really matter. If I called in sick, nobody would notice, but I had a ton of connection 'cause I was manifesting my values every single day. And while I wasn't really making any money, and it wasn't contributing. Now, I was also twenty one. So I didn't care about living in an apartment with twelve other people it didn't matter to me. But I knew that if he won. Wow, that could be an interesting career trajectory. Right. So there's a lot of contribution there. And then in terms of control I zero control whatsoever about whether or not I'd be sent to Michigan or Minnesota or or or Georgia or wherever for the next assignment. But it didn't matter because what I cared about at that point in my life. Was I wanted I wanted calling and I wanted the the contribution now in my late forties. I still wanna make the world better place. And I know that I I have sort of general rubric about about the kinds of clients that I wanna have. But I have I have older parents, and I have young kids, and I sit on several nonprofit boards, and I'm pretty busy. So my work has to matter the work. I'm doing has to connect every single day to that calling of making the world better place through getting this book out into the world in terms of my contribution. I absolutely need to manifest my values. Because I've got kids that are looking at me and watching me and emulating my life through that. But I also need that worked contribute to flexibility that I wanna have because you know, my kids are teenagers and teenagers. Don't need their mom every day. But boy when they need her. They need her right to have flexibility to be around in that way. And then in terms of control, I am a control freak of the highest order. I learned this when I. Entrepreneur. I absolutely want to one hundred percent have control over which stages. I'm speaking from what outlets are selling my book, which podcasts I appear on. You know, who is the carrier of my message, and I wanna make sure that that that I am able to decide how much flexibility I have what values I'm manifesting how much money I'm making by setting my own fees. So that I have the amount of connection and calling that I want towards getting to connection contribution that I want towards getting to that calling one of my sixties, it may be a completely different rubric. But for me, that's mine. And so the second part of the book talks about how to create your own pretend to understand what your rubric of calling connection contribution in controller. And then finally the third part of the book talks about will now that you know, what you're missing or what you want to have more of. Here's what you need to do to either change your career change your workplace or change yourself to get there. That's awesome. That's awesome. That sounds really good and work in our audience. Find your book, I'm guessing on Amazon. Yes. The book is on Amazon. It's on Barnes and noble. If your audience is listening in their thinking, I don't know how much calling connection contribution in control I want they can go to limitless assessment dot com, and I'll say that again, limitless assessment dot com, and they can take a ten to fifteen minute quiz. It's got about sixty questions on it. And at the end of which look at a beautiful radar chart, which will show them one their compulsion. How much connection contribution calling in control? They want in their life. And then a second one which hopefully overlays somewhat which is there which is their quotient how much of each of the four they have. And they'll be able to see where these where where the two radar charts are overlapping, and where they are not and that will show them where they're not. Incontinence? And it will give them some tips about things that they can actionable steps that can do today to get there. So they can go to limitless assessment dot com and take that quiz. And then they can also find me on all the socials at hey, like H E Y. Hey, hey, mental geo-, so all the socials. Hey, L G O and then at hey, L, G O dot com. We'll get them to my website. And of course, the book as you mentioned is available on Amazon Barnes and noble. And we're ever find books are sold. Amazing amazing. That sounds like a lot of fun. So thank you so much for being here with us for being so present. And so generous in your insuring your teachings and your experiences, it it has been a real real pleasure. Thank you. Thank you for having me. I am grateful for the opportunity. My pleasure. If you want to support my work the gratitude podcast. I would really appreciate it as counterintuitive as it may sound one of the best ways in which you can receive more is by giving some away when you give away even a small amount. This tells your brain that you have plenty enough even to give to others. I found the knees e way for you to become a sponsor a supporter of the podcast. Just click on the link in the description, and you can choose one of the three options, you can donate then five or one dollar per month that would be one dollar per month for you. But for me that would mean the world, so please take your time. Now. Visit the Lincoln the description or go to Georgia Banta dot com slash support and become a supporter of the gratitude podcast.

Amazon Georgia Mets Amazon Barnes Barnes I. Entrepreneur Michigan Minnesota one dollar one hundred percent fifteen minute fifteen years twenty years
"laura gassner" Discussed on The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

14:05 min | 2 years ago

"laura gassner" Discussed on The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

"Not even at that friend isn't obese you still have like ten or twenty percent chance to become obese because it's just it's it's bad habits. Unhappiness, misery, the choices that are that are that create self harm all of these things are contagious. But I feel like joy and gratitude and love and and optimism and idealism are also contagious. And I think the more you spend time with that the more. It becomes the person who you are becomes a sort of muscle memory for you, exactly exactly. I think it's I really believe this. And it's one of the reasons why the gratitude podcast actually exists because I think it can have a really big difference. It can make a really big difference in people's lives and in people's families. And as we usually talk about things that aren't working too. Well, we could start talking more about what we appreciate than spread it. And I think that's that's an important part of. Make in our making our Bart our contribution in into making the world a better place. But I'm I'm curious if you've always been like this like if you always felt this grateful and lived with with gratitude has has there been a moment in time when you got to be you've you've got the stage. You got to be more present and more appreciative of life with something happen. Well, I mean, I just turned forty eight. So I'm I am smack in the middle of middle age. And I think that there is something that happens in your forties. Does you approach fifty where you start in a way in a way time? It speeds up because there is so much that's happening in your life. There your world becomes so big. But you also have these moments where it slows down a lot. And I have I have I have recently been I've recently been hosting a lot of dinners at at my house. The last few years, we have what we call our family, and our family is that combination of friends and family that become your grownup family. So if your family lives far away, or maybe you don't have a great relationship with them. Or even if you do you still have this combination of the friends that you make a fully formed adult that that really sort of know who you are. And what you want to be. And we started doing the Sunday night dinners where at any on any given Sunday. Night just random people show up at our house. And you know, I mean, there are people we know, but they're just they know that we're always going to be cooking for like twenty and rules are very simple. You know, you sort of you you you show up anytime after five you leave whenever your kid has a meltdown because it could be your kid could be my kid. Che's or whatever. But we we sort of bring people around the table. And and I have over the last few years there's been a moment during each of these meals, and it may just be because my husband makes very good cocktails, but there's been a moment, right? Each of these meals where I sort of like stop, and I I I almost have out of body experience where I see the whole table, and I see people talking to each other who don't normally know each other who don't who aren't don't get a chance to see each other that much, and they're laughing, and the lighting is warm and the room is glowing. And and I just had this moment where I get to see people connecting. And I feel like that's such a gift. And I I think for me the more of that I have the more I seek it out. But I didn't always I didn't always feel this way. I mean growing up I was a I was pretty insecure kid, and I always felt like every. Else? Had it all figured out. You know, everyone thing they people that they knew what to wear they knew what to say, they just they were somehow always cooler and somehow never worked that hard to be cool. And an I definitely was not at all. I mean, I went to computer sleep away camp. I was I was really not cool whatsoever. And so what I did is I developed this really hard shell like sarcasm snark, which you know, I love I love big sarcastic and snarky. But it it almost became like a defensive mechanism and what what came from that is. I started developing relationships very few, but very deep relationships were sort of like your ride or die kind of relationship. You know, you were all for this person. And those were great until the person disappointed me or let me down or screwed me over or, you know, just just. Dropped me for a new boyfriend or whatever the case may be and that became difficult. I had this sort of hard time people are sort of in or out like you're either all in my life where you're out because I didn't understand how to the vulnerable. And then as you get older, you start to realize that I there's a great quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, who who says that you wouldn't worry so much about what other people thought of you. If you realize how little they did. You know, there's there's a moment when you get older that you think oh, I think that everybody is so busy looking at me. And I'm under the hot spotlight, and I'm so nervous. But the truth is they're also busy wearing that. Everyone's looking at them that they're actually are much attention to me. And I think at a certain point you realize it's not about you anymore. It's not all about you. And I think being able to to to turn your intent from being focused inward, and what everyone thinks about you to what you can do in the gift you can bring in the world. I think make a huge impact the the there was a moment where I think this became really close. Crystal clear for me. I think I had been doing it for about ten years. But there was a moment where I realized it, and I had I had been giving some career advice to a young woman who I knew who was having a of really tough time in an office where the person who she wanted to work for who she really idolized. Had led her down had been almost an abusive boss, and there was a pretty toxic relationship in the in the office. And she was telling me her tail of whoa. And after about twenty minutes, I said, you know, you're great. And she said, what are you talking about? I just complained to you for twenty minutes. And I said, yeah. But you're great. And she said, no. But I'm I've just told you all these terrible things and I've been winding and winching for twenty minutes. New your great, so go be great. Just go beat the great person who you are. And don't let all the nonsense and the bull and the the the the noise, and the the, you know, the all the social drama don't let it get you down. Go be greats. And she was like, oh, you're right. I can just copay crate and about a month later, I went to an event where she got up in and gave the opening keynote and she actually referred to the story, and I had forgotten that I've even given her that. Advice? But it was it stuck with her in this way. Where it was it really changed her. And I and I and I realized in that moment, even like the throw away conversations the throwaway lines. The the the advice that I give off the cuff. It's meaningful to people in and they take it to heart. And and I have not just a responsibility, but I have a privilege in my life. I am I am in this place. Where I I am so blessed to be able to be somebody that some that people turn to and give them advice. And it really made me it really made me feel grateful that I had created somewhat consciously in somewhat unconsciously this subconsciously this this this world where I have the ability to influence and change and affect people and give back in the ways that all I'm doing was just telling stories and giving advice that was given to me. That's amazing. That's amazing. And I think it's it's wonderful. How how you evolved in time. And how you got to to appreciate who you are. And what your gifts are instead of just thinking that other people are thinking about you or judging or criticizing one way or another. And I think this is very powerful. I always thought that I had to be a superhero. I always thought that I had to be great. And what I realized was that. My superpower was in fact, not being great. But was seeing the greatness and others in a way that they could see it and believe it an actually act on it. And that's how I get people on stuck right? I look at them. And I see the thing that is inside of them that they may be believe is there. Maybe don't even know is there. But when I think there is something about somebody seeing you and saying, look, I see you. I believe in you. I know you can do this. And I'm here to help that it it creates wind in people sales. And so I for me the turning point was realizing that it didn't need to be me. I needed to facilitate that in others. I think this to says actually this has gratitude at the at its core like the. The fact that you you can appreciate people, and you can see the good things in people. I I think most prohibits Heredia habits somehow that you just see these things and you'll appreciate them. And it's so beautiful that basically you've created the career out of this out of the fact that you appreciate other people's gifts, right? I I didn't mean to and yet here I am. You know, I think for me it I I had to exceptional mentors in my life. My first book is dedicated to the first my second book we ticket to the second. The first was a man by the name of ally. Siegel and Eli was a businessman. He was a lawyer by training. He was a businessman by profession, but in his avocation spent a lot of time in democratic politics, the United States and rand lots of people's campaigns who were running for president all of whom lost except for Bill Clinton. And he tends to tell a great story about how Bill Clinton called him up one day and said I want you to run my presidential can't Mike legit campaign. And he said, well, sure, I mean, you remember that he started naming, you know, all the president's president McGovern. President who are all the people who president heart prisoner all the people whose campaigns. He one who actually never became president. He sort of said admitted joking way and and. And he always had this incredible humility, but he had this joy and love of life. Also. And this is a man who when Bill Clinton was when he was elected. He could've had any job in the world. He could have been the ambassador to France could have been the messaging Romania where you are. He could have been you know, he could have had any wonderful cushy job. And yet he said, I wanna help create this program for national service that allows college students of young people eighteen to twenty four years old to serve their communities in exchange for college tuition, and and and I had fallen in love with Bill Clinton on the campaign trail because he talked about this idea of community service in exchange for for for college tuition. And I thought oh my God that that just needs to happen. So I ended up in the White House office that created this program in ally became very much a mentor in my life. And what was amazing about Eli was at this office. You know, the White House as you. You might imagine is filled with lots of people who believe that their opinion is Fiat, right? That their opinion is the the most important opinion in the world. And so we would have meetings and all of the grown-ups would talk. And then ally would turn to people like me who at the time was twenty one years old and say, we'll Laura what do you think you would turn to their about ten other people in the office over twenty one twenty four twenty six years old, and he would turn to us. And he said what all of you think this is a program for young people. What do you think? And he I I watched him as a leader not be the person who was out front and in the spotlight all the time. But the one who saw his job as being on the sidelines and facilitating others to to come up with the very best ideas and to be the best version of themselves. And so I think that was my first formative experience, and then my second was the man who ran the search firm that I that I talked about the first one that I went to members of Arne Miller, and Arlene Eli had been. Friends for years. They sort of made an arranged marriage for me to go from working for one to the other. And an army was the guy who placed really so many of the first of in so many organizations that are still important to to weaving the civic infrastructure of both the United States and end the world. He put, you know, the first LGBTQ person as the head of the American Civil Liberties union, he he put the first African American the first woman, the first this you name it like he was so out front before his time in in civil rights, and and an opportunity, and I would watch him interview people,

president Bill Clinton Arlene Eli United States White House American Civil Liberties union Eleanor Roosevelt Che Fiat Heredia Romania Arne Miller rand France Siegel McGovern twenty minutes twenty one twenty four twenty twenty four years
"laura gassner" Discussed on The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

10:18 min | 2 years ago

"laura gassner" Discussed on The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

"About it is so true. I, you know, there are studies that show that after a certain amount of money. More money doesn't make you happier. Right. I there's there's the amount of money that you need, right. And then there's the amount of money that you want and those numbers whenever I give career advice to people. I always ask them to think about those two numbers. How much do you need to make and how much do you want to make and those numbers should be very different? Right. The need to make number is your it's your it's your those. That's table stakes. You need to be able to pay your rent you need real food on the table. You know, you need to be able to support your family, but how much money do you want is a completely different question? And the answer shouldn't be. Be all of it. The answer should be enough. So when I started my firm, I I I was working at a big traditional firm, you know, sort of the best in the brightest the the big marquee name. And I was making money. I was working with the best in class organizations. I've is working with some of the smartest people, but I didn't feel like the work. I did mattered. I felt I felt unhappy. I was as I mentioned, it was all nonprofit NGO work. And I wanted to get into that work because I wanted to help change the world I had just left a stint in Bill Clinton's White House, creating AmeriCorps which is the United States national service program, and I was up to my eyeballs and idealism and Rahman soup because all I could afford the time, and I was twenty five years old. And I knew that I wanted to do something I wanted to continue on this quest to change the world. But I didn't have really that many specific skills, and I, but I had a Rolodex choke a horse. So what? Do you go into executive search? And so there I was sitting on one side of the table talking to a client sitting on the other side of the table. And in my mind, we were both on the same side of the table. We were curing cancer. We were fighting for LGBTQ, right? We were creating education access. We were saving the environment. We were doing good things. But in their mind, I was on one side of the table. They were on the other and the firm's profit and loss statement was sitting in between us, and what I realized was that I actually had to masters I needed to help my client do the thing that they needed to do. So that they could save the world, but I also needed to keep my bosses happy and I needed to maximize profitability on the project, and once I realized that my the master that mattered, the most was the one who was paying my paycheck. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't be in this place where I was not fulfilling my calling in a way that felt true to my own values. And so that's when I started my own firm because once you once you figure. About the problem. And once you notice the solution, and you realize that you actually are not part of the solution. Which means you're part of the problem. You can't you can't keep doing it. And I and I had this this moment of rage where I just decided I could do it better and faster, and with more authentic and more integrity and with more profit than I could at this big firm. But then it became a question of will how much profit was enough profit could I maximize profitability and bilk my clients for every single dollar. I could I could get from them. Or could I set up a company that had much less overhead because it was a virtual firm, and I I ran out of my living room versus a big brick and mortar office downtown could I maximize impact rather than maximising profitability and still make more money than I did at the big firm but make enough money. So that I could live the life I wanted, and that's when I had to think about well how much money is enough for me. And you know, I had to come to terms with the fact that. I love to travel all over the world. I'm never as happy as when I have a an airline ticket in one hand and a passport in the other. But in order to travel, you know, you need money, right? So I wanted to save the world because I care, but I wanted to travel the world because I have a fatal cause of of of I've a fatal disease of Wunderlist I just wanted to. So so for me the question of how much money was enough was will what what is it money mean to me, and what kind of lifestyle do I wanna have? And how do I manifest my values into the world while having that lifestyle, and that's where I decided what I wanted the Wor how I wanted the work to contribute to my life. Man. That's beautiful miss beautiful. It's actually how you how you made it happen for you for you to feel like your life is successfully life of happiness, but I'm really curious. What's your experience? With gratitude. Like, what do you feel? Granted you this for you. How do you define it? So for me gratitude is the ability to be present with whomever, or whatever I'm doing because I think that the the greatest way that you can express gratitude is by fully showing up for people or for the causes that you care about. And you know, I have have a beautiful metal and glass box that I had made that sits in my office where I keep all of the handwritten. Thank you notes that people send me I think that if somebody is going to go through the effort of of actually picking out stationary and writing a message and mailing putting in your city to I actually have a beautiful box where I keep these beautiful sentiments. And I hope one day when I'm dead that my family looks through this box and says people's lives were better because Laura was part of it. In some small way. And I believe that's a beautiful expression of gratitude. But what can I do on a daily basis to have gratitude to feel gratitude to develop muscle memory of gratitude to live in a space of gratitude? It's really thinking about what an who matters to me most and showing up so completely and one hundred percent present for them. And for those things that I think that's the biggest gift that I can give. That's wonderful. It's wonderful. When when thinking about what you are who you what you're seeing. The fact that radicchio is being fully present one hundred percent present it, it's so true. Because when we are in the experience, and we are present we actually get to experience all of it. And we don't rush don't think about what's next or what happened. We are there. And then that's that's so powerful I travel, but one hundred fifty thousand miles a year for for for pleasure. Yeah. I am. I am on an airplane almost every week. And and and as I said already, I'm never happy as an airplane one hand, and a passport and the other I want to visit every country I want like, you know, I was asked to to. To speak in Switzerland in March, and it's in the western part of Switzerland. Or so the eastern part is Switzerland. I thought oh, you know, what's near there is Lichtenstein? And I haven't been to Liechtenstein yet. So I accepted the speaking engagement because I know I could like get to another country. I love this. This is what I love. But but I have you ever been a long distance relationship where the person you want to spend time with the family member loved one to somewhere else. Yeah. Yeah. So we hate long distance relationships. Right. We think they're terrible. Because if you're if you are alone Monday through Friday, and then you might see the person you love on Saturday and Sunday puts a huge amount of pressure on making Saturday and Sunday. Perfect. And it usually ends up breaking relationships because there is so much pressure to have that time be perfect. And then I a couple of weeks ago. I started thinking, well, if I'm travelling a hundred and fifty thousand miles a year all of my relationships are long distance because I'm gone for three days. I'm home for two. I'm gone for one day. I'm home for two I'm gone for two days. I'm home for three. I'm not really here. All the time in this in this way that I'm present. So even though I live in the same house as my husband, and my two teenage sons, I still have a long distance relationship with them, and I began to think well when I was younger and my husband, and I were first dating and we were long distance. It was terrible. But we spent a lot of time thinking if I have two days to spend with this person each week how? Do I want to spend them? How do I wanna be there? What do we want to do, and we would make special plans, and we would, you know, put our work away. And we'd make sure that we were available for each other. And I came to realization a few weeks ago that everyone of my relationships whether it's with my husband or my kids or my clients or my friends or even myself is a long distance relationship. And so I'm sort of got this being my bonnet right now. But doubling down on this idea that if all of our relationships are long distance, especially because we're all moving so fast in this twenty four seven world. How do we make sure that when we are with each other? We really are with each other. And so for me, my expression of gratitude about the life that I get to live as an author. And as a speaker is to is to express my presence and to have that gratitude. So that I really do feel those experiences, and I really am there for people. Well, this is this is really good. Because once we actually get this end. We appreciate instead of quantity, the quality of the time that we spend with with the people we love this can I can really make a difference in style. Yeah. I think it gets them an opportunity to also show up for you as well. And so, you know, I think I think gratitude is it's like compound interest. You know, it's sort of the more you have the more you have. And I and I feel just like miseries contagious where if you're around people who are unhappy. You're gonna be unhappy. They say that if your best friend is obese you're fifty percent more likely to be obese. But if you're if you're best friends friends are obese even if your not

Switzerland Bill Clinton White House executive Liechtenstein United States Laura Lichtenstein Rahman one hundred percent one hand two days one day twenty five years fifty percent three days
"laura gassner" Discussed on The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

08:32 min | 2 years ago

"laura gassner" Discussed on The Gratitude Podcast - Stories That Inspire Positive Thinking

"I think gratitude is it's like compound interest, you know, sort of the more you have the more you have. And I and I feel just like miseries contagious where if you're around people who are unhappy. You're gonna be unhappy. They say that if your best friend is obese you're fifty percent more likely to be obese. But if you're if you're best friends friends are obese even if your not even at that friend is an obese you still have like a ten or twenty percent chance to become obese because it's just it's it's bad habits. Unhappiness, misery. The. Choices that are that creates self harm all of these things are contagious. But I feel like joy and gratitude and love and and optimism and idealism are also contagious. And I think the more you spend time with that the more. It becomes the person who you are becomes a sort of muscle memory for you. Welcome to the gratitude podcast on WWW dot George Bente dot com. You'll hear a new story each week that will inspire more gratitude in your own life. Our mission is to inspire one hundred thousand people to discover how to feel gratitude and live a happy life through the amazing life stories of our successful guess and they're actionable tips had now the host of our podcast Georgian Bente hybrid through seeker. Welcome to a new episode of the gratitude podcast today with us. We have Laura guests ner othing. She is an author and the professional speaker. She helps people get stuck. Into thinking to break through the barriers of confusion to achieve amazing results over the course of her twenty year career years studying recruiting as you're ding leaders through massive career change, Laura has witnessed that true. Success comes from finding your consonants to beyond this them. Not very clear on what that means. But we will surely find out Laura welcome to the gratitude podcast. Hey, it is so great to be here today with you. My pleasure. My pleasure. So firstly let us know a little bit about consonants. What does that mean? Sure. So consonants is it's an unusual word. But once I explain it to people. They're like, oh, yeah. I know that word it's the opposite of dissonance. We hear disciplines alive. We hear you know, noise and conflict, and and and and and tension, but Khan. Since is harmony its alignment, it's flow. And it's helped me become very a articulate end a good with my nunciatures in because if I don't sound like continents. Which is really the opposite. You. So so consonant so I spent twenty years doing executive search, and that means that I would work with individuals at the top of their game who were super successful in their careers. And I would help them to find new positions behind by organizations in the nonprofit NGO space and retained by them to go out. And find them their next leader their next chief executive officer were chief operating officer chief strategy officer or board members. And and so I spent twenty years interviewing people who were incredibly successful. And I was struck by the by. But by what I started to see which was at even though they were all successful, they weren't necessarily happy. And I thought isn't it interesting that success doesn't always mean? Happiness, right. Were sent on this on this quest as young people to succeed. And we're told I'll be happy when right? I'll be happy when I'm successful. And I started noticing about five years into this career of search that success didn't always equal happiest. And then I looked at myself. And I thought well, I'm pretty successful right now, am I happy. And I realized that I wasn't really that happy either. And so I started my own firm, and I spent the next fifteen years doing search in a way that made sense for me that was successful for me. That allowed me to do the work that helped me to find my calling to help save the world through this lever of talent that I knew it allowed me to connect to the my daily work to that calling. So that all of the work. I did felt like it really mattered. It allowed me to have contribution where I could live my values. I could manifest my values every day. But in a business that I created which threw off the kind of profit allowed me to live the lifestyle that I wanted. And then also as an entrepreneur gave him out of control that I needed over how much of that work. I did for what client and when and how much of the money that I made and how much of the flow. Ability. I could have so that I had the amount of connection and contribution to be able to serve my calling. And when I had that rubric for me personally of calling connection contribution and control in a way that made sense for me than I was in continents. And for everybody at every age at every life stage, your personal rubric of consonants will be personal to you. And here's the good news. There's no wrong answers. The only definition of success. That matters will be yours. Exactly. Exactly. I've I've come to this conclusion as well in my experience, and it's so interesting that. We can look successful, but not feel successful or not actually feel happy. Even though we are at at that point than people may actually look up to us in that situation, and we might not be actually happy. And that's so so interesting, and it exactly when when I thinking about that image. I'm actually thinking of this sentence. Like, you were saying that the fact that you they should be happy somehow, but they're not these kinds of people, and it describes indeed the dissonance, and it's something like why like what's happening there? What's what's not there? Mix. He had it makes us think. Well, if I if I filled in all the boxes all the right boxes, I filled in all the check boxes along the path to success. Why do I feel empty? Why? Do I feel like there's something missing the boxes were all full. What what's missing? And I think that it comes down to this idea that we're told very early on in our lives. What success should look like what we need to do. What we should do what we must do. And so we have this this path, and we have this one monolithic one myopic. One unflinching definition of success, which is the fastest and highest path to get to the the corner office. And in fact, that's not going to be the right path for all of us in effect. It's prion up the right path for most of us. And and all that we get when we get there is the thing that somebody else wanted, right? We've now filled in all the check boxes along someone else's path to someone else's success. And then when we get there, and it doesn't feel right? We think well if it's right for every. One else. And this was supposed to be the right thing that I must be wrong. There must be something wrong with me. And that's when I think we lose gratitude. Right because we get to the place where we we look around, and we should be happy. But we're complaining, and it's not because we don't have gratitude in life. We just don't have gratitude for someone else's life because it's not the life. We wanted if not the life that works for us. That's so true. That's so true. And it's it's so interesting how a few changes and also few changes in perspective how how that can make a huge difference like. I'm guessing, you know, about Gary he says that he says that something like you could be happier. Earning sixty thousand dollars per per year and. The fact that you're earning much more doesn't actually equal happiness unless you actually like what you're doing. And you're actually happy doing the work. So that's that's an important part. And something that's that's really interesting that we don't think about

Laura chief executive officer executive Khan Gary chief strategy officer chief operating officer twenty years sixty thousand dollars twenty percent fifteen years fifty percent twenty year five years
"laura gassner" Discussed on Sharp The Podcast

Sharp The Podcast

04:16 min | 3 years ago

"laura gassner" Discussed on Sharp The Podcast

"Long. Absolutely insect to read troublemaker. Finds Laura listen, it's been absolutely remarkable speaking to thank you ever so much. I really really appreciate your time in a mindful of what can you tell us about where they can find you. When you coming out tell us over them. Yes. So your listeners can find me at Laura gassner Auden dot com or if that's too hard to spill. Hey, hey, hey, L, GO dot com will get you to the same place. If they want to take a quiz and see if they Aren continents figure out how much calling connection contribution control they want and have in their lives. They can go to limitless assessment dot com, and they'll be able to take a quiz takes about ten minutes. And they'll be able to see where they land and get some good ideas about how to get more each of those bits in their lives. If that's what they want to put themselves in continental become limitless. And then limitless hits shelves on April. Second, but is available now for preorder on Amazon dot com Barnes and noble or anywhere else. You might buy books fund tastic while on definitely looking forward to it. While should be getting more pre ordering. Hope our listeners to do the same as well. It's been wonderful because you thank you ever so much for spending the time. Thank you. It was great fun. And I hope that I'm sure people to an awful lot out of the conversation, practical stuff bake stuff, small stuff. A navy blue socks thing, basically covered everything testing. Thank you so much enjoy the rest of your day antastic. Thank you you too. Bye. Bye. Wow. How much did we crime into the who's fifty minutes? What a great conversation. I was so grateful that Laura took the time to join us and on reckon this episode is one that would benefit from maybe two or three listens. That's so much in that after all that you want more than you can watch lures Tech's talk. You can connect with on social media. She's at high L GIO H E Y L geo. Hey LG. And of course, you can buy book limitless and the links to all of that stuff. Oviously will be now show notes blowing me I think you need to sit down after all that. I hope you enjoyed this episode taking the ten minute quiz. And then go and grab a copy of limitless. It's out night boot. So you can pre-order it. If you're listening to this before April twenty nine teen. And of course, if you listening in the future, your member did side, it would be mentioned full, you if you could just pump you'll time machine and go and buy it now because he's available now. Sicko and grab a copy as I said it was so much in his put cost I'm gonna listen to again. The links week schools an articles of used in this episode. We'll be in the show notes right there on your device. Hopefully, you'll find them helpful and useful. And hopefully, you'll find this whole podcast helpful and useful. I hope you do. And I do spend a lot of time and effort making sure it's relevant helpful and entertaining enough utilises if you agree and you'd like to show you support there are several ways you can do it. You could go to watch and give us a five stall rights him or a great review, which will be fab. We'll turn it. You can share the podcast on Twitter Facebook Instagram, we are at shop. What cost one word to pace for you could even show someone how to subscribe on the phone with that device and funny on the website shop podcast dot com. You can leave feedback. Subscribe. We'll go listen to the archived episodes. I'm off. I hope you're able to find one thing before next episode that you can do which will help you get better. And remember don't waste time comparing yourself to. One else. The only person you should try to be any better than is the person that you were yesterday. Bye. Bye. Why need to do is step away from gun at my computer? This is where I go over there. And it's. Oh, I didn't press cool. Did not record him shouting from the corner of the room. You know, why just second?

Laura gassner Auden Amazon Twitter LG Tech Oviously fifty minutes ten minutes ten minute
"laura gassner" Discussed on Sharp The Podcast

Sharp The Podcast

05:22 min | 3 years ago

"laura gassner" Discussed on Sharp The Podcast

"Mindful of your time, Laura, I've got time a few quick questions to throw at you. If you if you're up for a bit of rough and tumble. I'm while you not good Nath. Question. Math and dancing. And and doing math wild, dancing even worse. Visions of you don't still trying to do Al in fact will tell you I gave a talk at Harvard ones and my kids were much younger. And I was telling my seven year old that I was going to Q Nate the entity couldn't understand what QA wasn't as well. They just ask me questions about anything. And he was like what if they ask you about math? So well known in my house that I'm so bad at math. So math. This kind of one to ten how we all you. I would say on probably seven. Okay, why are you seven? Well, I am just a massive nerd when people get to know me look at me and they put together. But then they find out that I went to computer sleep away camp. And that I love kung FU movies, and I'm just a massive door about politics policy and all sorts of a democracy nerd into powder room untilt himself. So I think that's definitely at least. What one thing if I had a magic one. And you get ten percent better at something tomorrow. What one thing would it be? Can I say math again? No. But pretentious. A little bit. Can I get taller? I don't. Okay. I think if I think I think I could get ten percent better at anything. It would be. I think it would be owning the big dreams. You know? I feel very much like I become confident in things. Once I start displaying competence in them. But I'm I I love a big adventure. I'm turned on by the identity of the big idea. But sometimes it's it's sometimes it's hard to just. Decide jump in with both feet. You know, I decide and I kind of peak around the edges and kind of contain risk. And I wanna make sure I can do it before I can do it. But I think being I think I think I would get better being boulder earlier. Okay. The worst thing about talking Ted. Well, it was the very first talk every gave so. Yes. Yes. I had never done it before. I. Tamsin who's married to Tom whereas talking about earlier invited me to apply said no way ever end. My kid looked mantle. Don't you? Always tell me that you should do scary things. Don't tell me that. If it doesn't challenge. It doesn't change. You. Don't you? Always tell me that life starts fear. I was like, yeah. He goes. So what gives? Okay. Six later. They're on the stage notes, no net and go. And so it was fairly terrifying. I think the worst thing about it is that it is. It is short. And it is it is it is harder to give a short talknet along up -solutely. Absolutely. Because you tend to embellish don't you you say things, and then you didn't say some more about stuff people come in writing concentrating, again, I'll say a little bit more about some of this stuff. Absolutely. But I will tell you the best thing about it is when you're in this room and twenty six hundred people in massive lights. You can't even see people all of a sudden, you say something that's supposed to be funny and some guy in stage lift left will laugh and you're like, oh, yes. I want more of that. It's like immediately addictive. It's like somebody just shut method your arms, you're just like. Yes. That that was pretty fun. If that was if that was one of your earliest, tools, you have a commendable use of the pools because that's the thing that pay tend to struggle with just stopping the point fab it is so difficult. It is it is increased specially when you're in a silent room, and you're just like I just have to trust that this exists that that this is a dialogue and their parts silent. But they're still saying it to themselves. That was really good advice that I got. Okay. We'll cooked question says in your boy your instigator. What does that mean? That means I'm a very dangerous friend. I have talked people into starting their own companies. I've talked people into losing one hundred pounds running marathon people into into into into joining meter race took secre long like it is I am. I I come up with some harebrained ideas, not always one hundred percent thought out. But generally, I know we're gonna survive. So I tend to attend to be dangerous friend. That you'll really far away. Oh that doesn't matter. Long.

Al Laura Harvard boulder Ted Tom ten percent one hundred percent one hundred pounds seven year
"laura gassner" Discussed on Sharp The Podcast

Sharp The Podcast

14:58 min | 3 years ago

"laura gassner" Discussed on Sharp The Podcast

"Flow. Now this section gives a bit personal. Well, it did for me. We'll talk about how it can behold to fund the balance between getting coincidence, a making tough decisions, those will you do much who you are. Amelia to discover that you'll Brian is a lawyer. What what about about some of what's in the book? And and I've been lucky enough to have a little bit of a sneak peek of some of it is you tell us stories he took about Allison Levine's attempts. Everest Tom Webster. He said that he was unhappy and he realizes issues when not with his job his issues with his personal life. Can you just unpack that a bit? And tell us why that's an important story to tell you know, if I talked to I've known Tom for a number of years, he's he's he's a dear friend, and when I was writing the book I posted on Facebook. You know, who do I know who feels like they're incontinent? So everything of there in consonance with their with their work with their life with everything is sort of in this great flow, and he Rebecca median he said absolutely one hundred percent. And when I had the conversation with him, he talked about how he works at this firm where the values of the firm, and who they are and the the. Attention that they pay to quality and perfection in detail is exactly in line with who he is. And then he told me a story about how even though that was the case at a certain point. He didn't like the work, and he couldn't figure it out. He couldn't figure why he just didn't make any sense. He he traveled a ton. And it never really bothered him. And then he would come home, and he's with certain picking around the job a little bit until he finally realized that wasn't the job that bothered him was actually the home that bothered him. And you know, it's a lot easier to change jobs and change marriages. But when he he he made the decision he had a young son at the time, which complicated matters. But when he made the decision to divorce his wife, which was incredibly difficult at a decision to remarry, a another lovely, dear friend of mine, everything sort of locked into place. He became better at his work. He became better, you know, with with a son, he he became a better friend. He everything about his life on the outside of work. Locked into place. He he realized that what was making him. What was putting him out of consonants was that he was doing work that reflected the values that he wanted to live in the world. But he wasn't living a life outside that reflected the us that he was actually feeling at work. Having been through that situation myself, I can relate to that. And certainly on a personal level when you make those tough decisions, and and you make big change in your life. Whatever it is whether it's relationship change, whether it's lifestyle change you. When you make big changes like that the thing I've learned is no matter, how painful and difficult. It is when you get the other side of it, you have the capacity to become more like the person you wanted to be when you look back you realize that actually wasn't that person's for it. Wasn't. It wasn't external. I just wasn't being the person I wanted to be able to from that. And absolutely. And I talk a lot in the book about being in consonance means that what you do matches who you are. And for Tom, you know, who he was didn't mess the what he did. And so he had to make a decision to change one or the other. And when he was Nick and around the edges of of being unhappy about the career, he he realized that he the reason it was. Isn't getting fixed? The reason he continued to be unhappy because that wasn't the part that was out of continents. And sometimes you do have to make that difficult decision. And and it's you know, we talk a lot about about finding your tribe and having people around you who really support you. I I talk to my book about finding your family. And when I when I I had a friend of mine doing early read it, but she's like, oh, she's like there's a typo here it his family that I said, no, no keep reading of the family or that combination of your friends and your family that make up the people who really support you in your drive, the ones who are there to to to help reflect back to you the goals that you've told them about in how you're how you're working towards him. So for example, we talked earlier about how you we have these big goals. And then we get stuck in the minutiae of like processing all the Email. If your goals, if you're if you're if you're big giant, Harry goals don't match your to do list. Then you're not gonna get those goals done in if your goals don't metric to do list. Than than your to do list doesn't look anything like, you know, the Email box that you're so busy getting down to zero. I mean, I love inbox zero. But if I'm so focused on getting inbox zero I'm probably not rewriting that talk that I have to share a stage with Malala in April to get right? I mean that's gonna get in my way. And so, you know, the the the it's really important to make sure that those goals are there, and that you have people who are reflecting in holding you accountable for that. And so I think when when Tom minutes like you made this decision to sort of break all the plates at once as Tom likes to call. It were able to do away were you, you you you were you now have the sort of supporting cast of people that are in your life and your in their lives and together, you can all rise each other up. Nope, -solutely. So what would you say the things that people should be looking out full? What are the roadblocks? The the would be external indicators to people that the need to to take stock of this kind of stuff. So I think you know, I tell people that I the first thing that they need to do is to learn to ignore everybody. And and the the the first way to do that is to think, you know, my elementary school teacher was probably wrong. Because we have when I was in fourth grade. My fourth grade teacher said, you know, you're you're really argumentative. You you you'd be a good lawyer. And so I spent probably the next fifteen years of my academic career heading towards law school thinking that that was the direction that I wanted to go. That's what I needed to do. And it's it it didn't work. I got to law school in turn that. I actually absolutely hated it. I I had no interest in it. I didn't want to become a lawyer. I didn't look up to the mic. My my my teachers, I wasn't inspired by my my co might, you know, my classmates ended it just it it it made no sense. And it wasn't until I thought maybe she was wrong. Maybe I actually maybe there's other things I should be doing that. I was able to then start thinking about what? In fact, I did want to do. So I think the first thing is is is is these these labels that we've been given these assignments that we've been given about who we should be in what we should be in how we should be at young ages, which we have taken as. As as identification as definition or were they were really nothing more than just throwaway comments. And I think it's time that we start treating them such. Okay. So I think the first thing is to throw off everybody else's labels about what you should do in. What you have to do. And what you need to do because your idea of success and their ideas success may be completely different. And the only person who gets a vote is you so that's the that's the first thing. I think the second thing I say if I took screw the Joneses. We spend a ton of time looking at other people in comparing ourselves and saying, you know, keeping up with the Joneses and saying, well, you know, I've got to marry the right person and by the right car and live in the right house and said my kids to the right school, and you know, work the at the right firm, and all these things that I have to do because that's what I'm supposed to do. But who came up with that who decided that like somebody at some point decided that blue was going to be the color of the season. And we all scurry around trying to were blue in. Maybe we don't like blue. Maybe we like green. And that's okay. So, you know, it's it's the first thing is to ignore. What everybody has said, you know, is what should be right in the second. Is if you've started that they're not right about what's right for you? Then we have to stop comparison game of comparing ourselves to their definition of success. And so it comes down to deciding the issue with lean in wasn't Sheryl Sandberg's one way approach to to success. It wasn't how she achieved. It was how she defined it. And it it's not like success doesn't have to be the same for everyone. It's not the same cookie cutter model for everybody. And so what success means for you might not be what success means for me. But both of us can feel successful in our own versions of that on the think we often made the mistake of transposing wounds while the people this idea that. We think thinking something about us. But actually, the only thing we've got to go on that is that little chat. Revolts you'll hate this telling us other people thinking XYZ when in fact, it's all of our own creation. You know, it's interesting. I have a fourteen year old and a sixteen year old which means that I am square in the middle of middle school in high school, which you know, is hard and awkward, and you do feel like you have a spotlight on you all the time. And I was trying to explain to my fourteen year old the other day that the way he feels about the fact that everybody is looking at him all the time has helped everybody else feels and if everybody else is so focused on themselves and how everyone else was looking at them. How do they have time to look at you? The logic of that did not Kuwait permeate through the lake repu- Bessant, you know, lack of frontal lobe, but we're working on it. It's it is it is. It is true that if you we think that we are defined by our failures and. Because everybody else is looking at them and staring at them in the truth is most people are only seeing our successes. We see our own blooper reel. And we look at everybody else's finished product on social media. And we think Pharrell perfect and we're imperfect, but the truth is that we shouldn't be judging are we shouldn't be judging our lives by this. I mean, this is the wrong way to think about it. Ten I I don't have you ever. See there's there's a great podcast are great authentic talk of by friend of mine whose name Zhejiang end. It's what he learned from one hundred days of rejection. It is fantastic. He literally intentionally put himself in positions where for hundred days, straight Huby rejected. So for example, when you go into McDonald's, and you get a Big Mac, Anna an a an a Cup of soda. You can get refills on the soda can keep going up get refills, but he would go to the county. I would like my refill on my Big Mac, please. Or he would walk up to random strangers and asked him to borrow one hundred dollars or you know, things that he was clearly get rejected from any dinner for hundred days in. Ro at it's just a fascinating talk about what it feels like to get rejected. And you get to this point. You're like, oh, it actually doesn't hurt them much because nobody really cares really pin. Number to mention to anybody else and end, you know, we spend a lot of time thinking about what everybody else thinks about us. But you know, I say don't get votes to people who shouldn't even have voices. But you know, that includes the voices in her own heads to the loudest. That's the they're they're the loudest. And frankly, they're the most wrong, you know, as you mentioned the beginning. I do a lot of athletic things, and I'm a rower, and the the the thing about rowing is that it is it is it is it is long for suffering. Right. There is a lot of suffering in rowing, and you get deepened the pain cave in there is this moment where you think I'm gonna die. This is really terrible. But if I stop I'm literally gonna be jetted out of the boat when this. Or comes back in breaks my ribs, and I fly into the water and then drown because I can't swim because I have broken ribs. Puncturing my lungs, right? So you have to keep going, but your brain is singing, you're gonna die. You're gonna die. You're gonna die. And it turns out you don't die. And maybe sometimes you win a medal and your brain is a liar. But if you listen to your brain, your brain hits this wall of omega omega evolution works like evolution is there to keep a safe from harm. So every time your body gets into the uncomfortable place in every time, your your your your emotions get into this uncomfortable place at every time, you're is Heidi in your adrenalin uncomfortable place. Your your brain wants to put the brakes on it. And yes that starts from jumping off the cliff sometimes, but it also stops us from getting ten percent better. Because we don't push our boundaries a little bit all of the thing. That's going to be the subtitle of the podcast. You'll Brian is Eliah. Your brain is like, you know, I I am I am I've recently become enamored by the idea of. On the edge of your incompetence. This is like my new this is my new thing that I'm all wrapped up around because again, fourteen and sixteen year old kids, I go to a lot of parent teacher conferences and parent teacher conferences are filled with all kinds of you know, horrible tales of all the things are kids. Don't know how to do. But it turns out that. That's actually really good news because as adult we get hired we get paid. We get promoted. We get praised for living in the center of excellence for doing the thing that we do really well until such time as we get promoted outside of our building. And then we screw up, but we basically spend our careers doing the same thing over and over again at you know, as quote unquote professionals at it and our children spend every day learning something new, okay? You figured out pre-algebra it's time for algebra figure algebra, it's time for geometry. Got geometry time for trigonometry. They are constantly living on the edge of their incompetence. And that's why they're growing in their brains of so elastic because they're always learning new things, and we I'm fascinate. But by the idea that they live in discomfort all the time and we seek out comfort. Absolutely is one of my one of my five questions. I asked myself when Joe and at the end of the day. What did I learn? And sometimes it's really hard. You just done it. You've done a regular day's work. You haven't anything particularly creative or original new different. And sometimes it's really hard to dig into thing. Yeah. But what what did I learn I must learn somewhere? And I'm confident that awesome yourself those questions at the end of each day start to cause your brain to become elastic and change and start looking out for those things. And I think that's a virtual circle. I think it's absolutely right. In fact, when I sold my last company to the team that helped me build it. I did. So because I woke up on Dan, I realized I hadn't learned anything new in a while. And yeah, you know, asking myself this question. What did I learn today coming up at the answer? That's like well, not a lot. What I learned about myself is that I need to learn things. Ause me to make a major change. And I think that's okay too. Mindful

Tom Webster Brian Joneses Rebecca median Allison Levine Amelia rowing school teacher Sheryl Sandberg Nick Malala Harry Kuwait Dan lake repu- Bessant Pharrell Huby Zhejiang
"laura gassner" Discussed on Sharp The Podcast

Sharp The Podcast

08:11 min | 3 years ago

"laura gassner" Discussed on Sharp The Podcast

"Five. So you've heard the word comes in. It's and in this next bit we explore the full sees that form the foundation of Laura's work in them at this coaling connection contribution and control. We also discover why following your passion can be bad advice. And so what I learned is that they're really four elements that put people in continents, the first is calling. So this something some purpose something bigger than you that you want to work towards and we often think about calling in purposes like higher calling and higher purpose. The truth is it could be curing cancer. It could be feeding the poor. But it could also be buying a beach house in a Maserati, it could be paying off debt. It could be a brand that you love or leader who inspires you. It's just something that's bigger than you something. That's that you want to go to bed for that's the first the second is connection. How does the work that you're doing on a daily basis serve that calling? So why do you and the work that you're doing in this box on this organizational chart in this company matter the third is contribution? How is the work that you're doing contributing to the life? You wanna live the lifestyle that you wanna have or. The values that you want to manifest is the job does the job that you have helped put unit trajectory that gets you to where you wanna be faster along that route to the calling and then lastly control how much control you have over the connection in the contribution that this work has toward serving that calling and at every age in life stage will be different. So when I was young twenty one years old working on the on Bill Clinton's first campaign. I had a ton of calling. I mean that was like all the ideal of mucus eight, but I was fetching coffee all day long. So I had absolutely no connection whatsoever. But then in terms of contribution. I was living my values every day if he won I was going to be working in the White House, and wow, what a career trajectory contribution that would be control. I had absolutely zero. But I didn't care. So in each and now, you know now that I'm now that I'm older, and I have older parents in younger kids. I'm writing this book in calling it it it's important me that I'm doing this thing. That's that's bigger than me. But I don't. Have to be changing the world necessarily right now. I have this thing that I care about in terms of connection. Boy, there are a lot of people my life who need me. And so if I'm doing a lot of busy work. That's not worth my time. That's not connection. I need a lot of connection contribution. It matters. I'm up on stage every day. I'm I'm I'm I'm Makino speaker. I'm an author. I'm a very public personnel. So I have to be manifesting, you know, all of this. And then I need a ton of control because I'm an entrepreneur, I want that control. I wanna have it. And I wanna make sure that I can control how much connection contribution. I have. So the the numbers if you think about a again, if you think about in terms of of target you've got one target for for for the compulsion. How much of each of these things you want and one for the question. How much of these things you have? And if they're aligned urine continents, and you're limitless. But if you if you if you realize in effect, you don't have a lot of calling, but boy, you really need it. That's. The thing that you can work and getting more of an each for each of the four CS, it's the same. So that that makes sense I'm a rich on. I think of this Ryan that you said that following your passion is bad advice. It'll get that Ryan. And so I wanted you think that well, I think following your passion is the it's it's the spoken. Illegitimate. Sister of the live left love tattoo. I think it's the world's worst advice. And that's because it is is advice that has been a passed along and re tweeted and reshare it on social media by girls with flaxen hair wearing flowered, crowns, looking into over Coachella concerts. And and and here's the thing. You can follow your passion. All you off. It doesn't mean it's going to do anything for you or pay off for your build a career. You have to expect to invest in your passion. Yes. Expect to be beaten up by your passion. You have to expect to be gutted by your passion. And it's in the getting back up and serving that passion over and over that you. Develop hunger. And wait in tenacity in speed grit, in a way that makes a passion payoff you. But just going into the assumption that if you just find your passion, I'm gonna go mix into candles for living, or whatever that thing might be. It's not it doesn't you can't pay your you can't pay your mortgage with passion. So I I want people to find that passion. But I also want them to know that they're going to have to do that. That's only that's that that that's the goal, but it's not the roadmap to get there. It reminds me that quote that says founded you'll be left in the universe is working and use I used to subscribe to that. And then, you know, as you get older, you think it's it's a statement of really mean anything because actually if something's worth doing you've call to work at it. That's the whole point if you don't put work into it has no meaning so this funds that we can just do triple only be happy because we're doing what we love doing video isn't work. I think there's a balance on. I think there's a if you've got clarity around what you're working. Wolves then it might not feel like work, but I guess the challenges defining work, and the way I read that statement work is is is a bad thing. But clearly, it's not you talk to my old entrepeneurship as well. And the benefit of Ota entrepreneurs. What tell me more about that? We think that the typical entrepreneur or even dot com entrepreneur is going to be some young kid in a hoodie in his dorm room, creating the next Facebook. And in fact, that can't be further from the truth. There there were there are studies that have been done that have shown that the best. Most successful entrepreneurs are actually mid-career individuals people who are already into their late thirties or in their forties. And you know, part of that's because they can do a little cell phone answering to to serve get started. But more so it's because they know what makes them good. They know when they're in their very best versions of themselves. And also because they they're not they're not ascribing negatively to work. So you know, I've loved work work gives me great amount of purpose. And you know, does it feel like work does it notch? I don't know it feels like something that gives me joy, it feels like something where I am completely aligned and consonant with who I am one of my very best self fifty think about about those moments when you were amazing. Right. Like, if I were to ask you, tell me about a moment when you were just firing on all cylinders you were making it rain. You're closing the deal. You were sweeping someone off their feet. You were you were taking care of a loved one at a quiet situation can be loud can be quiet. But if you were to think about a moment when you were at your very very best. What kinds of times what you think about who? Would who were you in those moments? What muscles were you using what energy were you using what vocabulary what was your lexicon? Who was around you. As it. Loud was a quiet where you public was a private, you know, what what were you doing in that moment, and that's your that's your fundamental state of leadership and we dip into these moments from time to time whether it's on your sporting pitch or in the conference room or the living room or wherever it is that we are. And when we think it's, you know, it's it's it's happenstance. It's accident all but if we think about those moments in write those things down on a piece of paper and put him on the lock screen of your phone or on your on your on your. Screensaver on your computer or write them on your on your bathroom mirror in the mornings? You see it? When you're when you're shaving if you think about those moments, and you start leaning into those in an intentional way than that actually becomes muscle memory. Then actually becomes who you are. And and if you can find work that allows you to be more of that person all the time, that's when you can become limitless. Because you really are incontinent. Everything's in alignment, everything is in flow.

Ryan White House Bill Clinton Laura Facebook Ota twenty one years
"laura gassner" Discussed on Sharp The Podcast

Sharp The Podcast

08:29 min | 3 years ago

"laura gassner" Discussed on Sharp The Podcast

"Do. So in this section will listen to how Laura describes has. She uses a calendar. And I just wanted to jump in here and focus you on this bit. Because there's some really good stuff in this base, the three hour time blocks, and how she deals with interruptions. There's real golden here. And then we get into the detail of Laura's new book. Simai January is kind of bizarre because I have this book coming at an April. And I have a bunch of speaking engagements leading up to it. I have a bunch of media to do. I was on the today show last week here, which is which is insane. You know, they call you up on a Thursday. Like, hey, what are you doing on Tuesday? Can you be here at thirty Rockefeller plaza to be interviewed on the today show? And you think to yourself will I've never actually done an interview for the book yet, and I've never actually done TV. So sure one I do live national television for my very first foray. Why not so I don't really have a typical January day, but I will say that what I try to do in my schedule in general is I tried to block off three hours three times a week to do writing thinking speech preparation speech rehearsal. The sort of the creative the like big brain, heavy fire. You're burning activity stuff where you know, really at the end of it you like I I love to form sentences, but my brain is just producing monosylabic blah at this point. And I my calendar generally looks like that every morning three hours every morning. So I wake up four thirty four forty five every morning, go to the boathouse go to the gym. I get a good hard. You know, one to two hour workout in that. I come home I shower quickly over I just go through Email and kind of triage, whatever really has to get done. And then I have these three hour blocks. Like, I'm a Montessori kid read a three hour work blocks of of the of the monastery schedule. And then starting at noon, that's when I'll go out to lunch with a client or somebody who needs advice on something or just a social call. And then I've got conference calls the rest of the afternoon until it's time to to, you know, pick kids and go back into, you know, mom land. And what generally happens in reality is people don't just want him Uni after noon, sometimes he wanted to need. Morning. So I try to as much as I can absolutely positively keep two of those three hour blocks on my schedule every single week. And where can I try to keep three I have never been able to stick to four or more on a regular basis? And frankly, you know, the meetings are where I make my money. So I, you know, I I need to have some in them. But I try to go through this question of am. I that important is something I've really have to say yes to 'em. I the one who has to be the person helps is somebody else who can be better. And I try to push people often. Here's what happens if I say to somebody. I would love to meet I would love to help you with this random problem that you've just dropped in my lap. But I actually don't have time in my schedule for two more weeks. I don't schedule the call for tumors. I say why don't you ping me back in two weeks? And let me know if it's if you still need me and usually by the time to get to two weeks, they found their they've they've solved the problem. Elsewhere. And if they really haven't been at that point, they really need me in I'm useful for them. So it's a it. It's actually could use of my time and. So it's a great way to both protect my time. But also to weed out weed out the people that are just like I've sent this question at ten different people. And you happen to be one who replied, I am actually really interesting. What you signed because one of one of the mistakes. I think people may is they get really good at managing the minutiae managing the detail on a big GT de fan. But I think one of the challenges of using David on C today approaches, the can make you really effective and really efficient at processing stuff. What JT doesn't do? Even when you when you work out the horizons. It doesn't necessarily link that detailed stuff to the wider horizons. The reason that you'll you'll hear what you're rhyming for what the big stuff is. And what the business, and I don't if you've read pita bregman eighteen minutes book. Have you read that I have not it's really cool because what he does is. He helps an I'll use kind of a mishmash of GT D And a break. Cnn's pace way. Unclear about why I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm clear about what my business we spend a lot of time. And there's a lot of help out there to get good at dating with the minutiae, but not help people step back and say, yeah. But what's the point? What's the, where's this will go? Why is why why am I working on this? So so the book you've got coming is cooled limitless with a subtitle. How to ignore everybody carve your own path and live your best life. I hope that right? That's right. Why did this book have to be written? Just give us a bit of the backstory as to why you felt the need to write this book. Well, you know, it's actually an interesting story because this this book started off being part of a guidebook series that the publisher of the book asked me to write. And as we as I was going through writing this book about purpose had to do work. That matters take I called him up one day. And I said, you know, I'm a guidebook format is chapter. One problem solution chapter to problem solution chapter three problem solution and on and on and the idea of finding purpose and feeling like the work that you're doing actually matters doesn't really fit into the guidebook format. And and I said, you know, it's it's really not working. I think I'm probably not the right person for you on third with the white flag. And he said, you're right. It doesn't work. We're not going to publish it as part of a guidebook series. And I said, oh, wait. But there better be a but coming because anyone planning on writing it. And you know, I'm only like three weeks into this book at this point. And he's like, yeah. But here's the thing. If finally unfettered me following unleashed me to be able to say here are all the ways that it is so cleared me over the course of twenty year career interviewing leaders in in major moments of career shift who have been sooner successful, but we're not necessarily happy here. The things that I've seen about the ones who actually vote who were successful an happy in a way that was tenable. So that they could continue to do the good and the hard work that they love that makes them and their communities and the world's a better place. And so the book is really based on twenty years of studying in and observing and recruiting and advising leaders in massive amounts of career shift about how to use their work, and it could be people who stay at home. It could be people volunteers. Your work is really any productive. Time of your day. How do you use that time to actually live the kind of life that you wanna create which way does it go? Then does it. Does it help people work on deciding what that focus is? Or does it help people find the solutions to the to the focus? Well, what I learned over. The course of my career was at for people to feel like their work actually is right for them act. It has to actually be right for them. And that means that they have to be incontinence. We spend a lot of time coats, which during the person, we are at work in the person, we are at home. And when these two people are fighting with each other. We're we're not happy. When I was when I had I started my my last company. My son was six weeks old, and I was working at home part-time. And I was with my son part time, and what is with moms. They looked at me. Like, oh, you're just somebody who works when I was with my work, friends or legal. You're just a mom. I really wasn't either person because I couldn't lean into either. Part of me. And I was reading books like lean in telling you have to lean into like, everything in all parts of you all the time be all things all people, and it turns out that that's actually not what makes people happy, and in fact, even Sheryl Sandberg's own research about it has shown that after all this leaning in people it's not really working in. There aren't any more women in the C suite. And I think it's because we have this one myopic unflinching definition of success, which is the fastest possible way to the cease week corner office, and that's not what everybody necessarily wants. I think at every age at every life stage. We're gonna something different is gonna put us in continents in what works for me at twenty five may not work commute forty five but works at forty five may not permit sixty five.

Laura Rockefeller plaza Sheryl Sandberg Cnn publisher David three hour three hours two weeks eighteen minutes twenty years three weeks twenty year six weeks two hour one day
"laura gassner" Discussed on Sharp The Podcast

Sharp The Podcast

12:57 min | 3 years ago

"laura gassner" Discussed on Sharp The Podcast

"It's not the goal. It's the size of the steps you take towards the goal. And so I think the goal should be huge. But you got a set steps that are smaller. Hello. And welcome to shop the podcast where we help. You get a little better at the stuff you have to do. So you can spend more time doing the stuff you wanted to. So now on with the episode. Hello. And welcome to episode fifty four it's been a while. It feels like it's been ages who you enjoyed our series on helping you get better for twenty nine thousand nine we are right into twenty nine thousand nine now. And although if you're listening to this in twenty twenty seven from the future, there's a message for you at the end of this episode the right here right now, it's still twenty nineteen and he went to get more getting better than you've come to the right place in this episode. I was lucky enough to spend some time talking to Laura gassner. Alton now, there is so much in this conversation Lauwers approach to life her new book. In fact, there's so much stuff. I'm not going to waste any more time doing anymore preamble. Let's get into it. Laura is on the line from Boston. Hi, laura. How are you? I'm great. How are you doing? All right. Thanks very much. We so we went a bit of a preamble conversation. We've both agreed is cold and miserable. And so we are going to be your sunshine generators for this podcast. That's for sure. Well, by pressure, no pressure. How how is how is Boston? And so so we've established code is. Where are you in the city centre? Or is it busy where you are client just outside of the city. So I'm in a lovely little suburb called Newton, but Newton has about ninety five thousand people. So you can live on the part of the suburb where I live which is very very close to downtown. In fact, you can jog to the to the to the the city limits of Boston or you could live on the other end of town in which it means takes about fifteen minutes. Get from there to my house and then fifteen more minutes to get downtown. So I'm in a suburb. But I am about as close to the city as you possibly can be and still have a backyard prophet tastic. It's nice to get out and about and get a bit of spice, and you and you bought looks at it the research, I've done from me us such an active. Anyway. But I can't imagine you ever being cooped up in a room for the more than five minutes when I was looking at the list of stuff done. So you're speaker, you're an author you're an instigator you've worked in the White House, your mom, your rower CEO. He really done a west off and do that stuff. The same time. No. Of course, you know. I have I was I was I showed up one morning at the boathouse at four thirty AM. Because that's you know, when people row and a women on my team turned to me and she said Bridget just in California yesterday. And I said, yes. And she said, well, what times are you on? And I said, oh, I'm my own time zone. I when I was first dating my husband called me my own weather system. So I feel like I just I'm I'm a I'm a gravitational force, and I feel like each of us our own gravitational forces, and sometimes that gravitational force implodes upon itself when we kinda stuck and sometimes use it energy to sort of move forward in the world and propel others with us through momentum. And I think if we can learn how to harness and use their powers for good. We can all be our own weather systems our own time zones. What it sounds like you need several times owned in your back pocket with that kind of stuff that you'll do. Now, given all of that. And all of that tippety of going really reimport question for you. The somehow I've managed to start asking the front of every interview I do have you got socks on. I do have socks on. I have the most cozy socks on that have like a little fleece lining inside. And I'm sitting here in my office in front of my fire. And I'm looking at over the snow, and I am I am I am very happy. And cozy right now what color Royal? Folks. They are navy blue with a little bit of like an isle of white pattern through them knows. Yes. Oh, whoa. The Ottawa actually is an island a half an hour away from where I am right now they wearing them especially for pick them out. Especially for this interview today. I I was this was this was an intentional suck choice. I have sucked. It's so. I don't know how I've ended up asking that question. But it seems to be little bit more interesting to people than tell me about your room and so on and what's around you. That's just find out about the socks. So we're recording. This in January. The episode thing will probably come out and defect Burri starting March. And this time of the year. I know a lot of people of dating with New Year's resolutions. Have do you have any where do you stand on New Year's resolutions? So, you know, it's interesting that you ask that because I just heard yesterday a report on the radio saying, that's this is the weekend that people who have New Year's resolutions quit that this isn't that they've basically gone almost three weeks, and they haven't done it, and they quit. And this is the week. This is the weekend that the gyms empty and Weight Watchers loses people in all of a sudden, you know, everybody just goes back to the road habits. And I don't I don't really have New Year's resolutions per se. I think that if you decide I'm going to be a better version of myself today, and then tomorrow and be better person of myself tomorrow in the only person you have to beat is yourself every day. And if one day, you don't do that. Well, if if you've got this like big heavy resolution than you. You're disappointing yourself so much. So I I I really do believe that that we can all just decide any day to be better. And it doesn't have to be on the new year. Absolutely. I actually we even a bit more strident head on. Shot the bughouse house because we we have anti New Year's resolutions. Because for exactly those same reasons, we believe that actually if you if you decide you want to do something, and there's a good reason to do it. Then you should just do it. Because it's a good thing to do not because it's the time of year because everyone else you're doing it. And so I think I read some of the some of the eighty percent of resolutions file by February. And I think people are doing it for the wrong reasons and on the last three episodes that we've put out before this one goes out are actually reruns of episodes. We did back in twenty seventeen where we're saying nevermind New Year's resolutions. Look at your habits look at your goals look at your routines because those are the things those that's the key to change doing stuff regularly in a different way. And whether that starting with baby steps will starting with the big bang. It's about that ongoing lifestyle changes opposed to just doing something because it's all the new year. So I'm with you on that. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, you can't you can't decide to to to to lose to be less fat. By deciding that you have to decide to today, I'm going to go for a fifteen minute walk today. I'm not going to have dessert right today. I'm gonna drink more water have salad or like it. It's big changes are made of little steps. And I I fully believe that. If you don't set a goal that is so big that it kind of scares you a little if there's a little bit of bell shaking anxiety involvement. You haven't set your goal big enough. But it's not the goal. It's the size of the steps you take towards the goal. And so I think the goal should be huge. But you got a set steps that are smaller end these New Year's resolutions. They always seem to be hyperbolic. They seem to be cataclysmic. They seem to be like my life is going to change completely on January. First, look, no, it's actually not. And then you're going to be disappointed on January second. And then you're going to be, you know, you're gonna be crying at your soup on January third on January fourth full of spare and you start eating the natives, you know. So like, you really like I think it's important to say, I'm just gonna decide to be better. Tomorrow about this one thing and the next day about that one thing, and that's okay. Oh, this is great. So we've got we've got so much in common with where we're both impossible. This really cold. You've are the White Sox on we both vehemently disagree with New Year's resolutions. Because they don't really help your statement there. You said be better than yourself. And that's absolutely that's one of our strap lines. The, you know, the only person going to try and be better than he's the person that you will yesterday, and that's our philosophy, sir. You know, my dad my dad grew up in pretty modest circumstances in Brooklyn, New York, and he said, he would tell me live in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn. And he would say he would walk down to the water every day after school, and he would see he's fancy boats, and he said one day, I'm going to have one of those fancy boats. Right. And so he grows up he goes to medical school. He becomes a doctor. And he he's he's a successful physician and he buys a boat and he takes up boat. And he he he he yachts it all the way up from Miami. Where I grew up all the way up into New York. Carbon is driving around the state. Of liberty. And he looks over to his left and you see somebody with a bigger boat. And you know, it turns out that there's always going to be someone with a bigger boat. It just it doesn't matter. How successful you are somebody there's going to be richer or thinner or fancier or younger or whatever it is. And you know, at the end of the day, if you continue to compare yourself to other people you will find somebody who's better than you. Could you just you just will need unless you're using bolt the fastest man on the planet. You are you will find somebody who's going to beat you? And so how can you like who? Should you be measuring yourself against the only person what makes sense is you because trying to chase somebody who is not even you know who is so far out of your league. Maybe they're younger, they're stronger. They're just made of different DNA than you. No matter. No matter how hard I try. I'm never going to be able to run the marathon as fast Ziam. It's just never going to happen or so here's a question for you them because the purpose of ipod cost us to help people. Get better what the stuff they have to do. So they can then spend more time doing this stuff. They want to do what do you want to do? What gets you out of bed? Well, can I address that? Can I just the premise of the question? I sure because I think that the question of doing the things we have to do. So we can do the things we wanna do. I think we have to make sure that the things we have to do are infected things we have to do. I think we spend a lot of time doing the things we think we have to do without actually wondering if we do or not. So so many times we get we get conscripted into doing things that really aren't that important to us and that we're not important to the best piece of professional personal advice. I ever got was this ready for it. You're just not that important. Now, that's kind of thing. That's a hard thing to here at the time. I had two young children. There were four and six years old. My company was just about five years old. I was busy working on political campaigns to, you know, I'm I'm my husband had has is is in the midst of an ascension of career. So, you know, we're building our family. We're building our careers rebuilding our communities where deepening our marriage all of these things when I sure felt really important all these parts of my life. And this woman looked at me. And she said, yes, she said, but you're really not as important as you think. And if you're so busy trying to be that important to everything you think you have to do then you're not going to be that you're not actually gonna show for the things where you really are important. So every time we get asked to do something. It's none the silly because we are the most important person. Sometimes it's just because we're the most proximate heartbeat. So I think we have to start thinking like do I really have to do that it has to be done. But does it have to be done by me, if I say, no if I don't answer that Email immediately. If I don't let somebody pick my brain or swing by and just. Got a minute for something. If I don't give away my gold than I'm actually might have time to do more than I wanna do or the things that I actually really do have to do. And I have to knock out of the park are like that. So be clear about what you mean by half to because actually doing have to do in you very kindly joined in our kind of end the wrap-up episode where you talked about the episode that we done before about saying, no. And why it's important to be able to do that and to and to do that consciously. I firmly believe that actually just taking a second to decide this thing in front of me. Now is important does it mean something is in my circle of influence, and actually is it relevant to what I'm doing. I think we often take stuff on almost willna sleep walk into taking on responsibilities in and reading Email and not only do we sleep walk into it sons as we even volunteer for it. So we will lean over like, oh, well, I could help if you need. It's like well. Yeah here. Here's all stuff. I need you to do. And I I love saying no saying no is one of my favorite things in the world. And it's not because I love saying, no. No, it's because it allows me to say, yes. More to the stuff that I actually want to do.

Boston Laura gassner New York Alton White Sox California White House Newton CEO Bridget Ottawa Brooklyn Miami Brighton Beach one day fifteen minutes