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Tackling The Typhus Scare At LA City Hall
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Episode 90 - La La La Problem
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What's up my baby's, hey, how you guys doing its crystalline here and we're doing, we're doing it for episode ninety, and you may have heard something a little bit different so far when I read the ads and that's, you might have. You mother fuckers know what's up, man. They're asked you don't get you get to listen to this for free. They come up on your on your podcast app on your app would have you got you get listened to it for free. And I want to just remind people that when they're when they complain about ads which has been happening less and less that that's why you get to listen to it for free because I get to get paid through these ads. So every time I read a fucking add, just so you know, dude. Okay, that's how it's going. So here's a little bit reminder. If you're feeling a little bit complaining, guess what? That's how it's gonna be from now on dude. That's how it's going to be from now on. I'm coming in fuck and feisty today. Dude, that's what's up dude. Did some shows this past weekend in college in New Jersey called fucking. Call to New Jersey in Trenton data, fuck into the Warner theater in DC. And I also did the fuck and Carnegie Hall, and I played the hometown in Montclair New Jersey. So that's what's up dude. That's how we're fucking doing it from now on. Because that's how it is in this life man. You gotta fuck and you gotta get it in where you got to get it where you you gotta get in where you fit in. That's what you do. So that's what's up. We got some new sponsors and shit like that. We love the new sponsors. We love the tried and true old sponsors. We got fucking we got remember if you're watching the video app Kotas reminding you guide Khuda right here over my right shoulder, remind you and then you got the fuck and eagle over here to remind you who the fuck you listen to did. Anyway, dude. I was on the road. Wow. What are we fucking start here? I was on the road. Do you know what actually, I I want to talk about. I was on the road and I saw we've probably talked about infomercials here and there. By the way this isn't plugged in is this usually plugged in. It is. It's not plugged in. So what do we do here is not plugged in. It's it's out of here. But is that I'll do it so so one fire starting off, all ready and does not. Okay. Well, whatever. If it dies, dies. If he dies, he buys. It's got some up there. We need to fix. It gets so nervous as we, we need to fix that. We need to fuck at technical different. Just do it over here. Just go that way. You know, you'll see you because you're fucking fire. So we so so I was in LA or. No, I'm sorry. I was in when I was listening to this watching this shit. I was in I, first of all, I can't even tell you how sa- bitch, fucking one. Fires luck and trying to get her on the studio behind the camera to try and fuck and plug in the the sound thing. And because he looks extremely Sebej, but. I can't find. What do you do you know where it is? We gotta find it right. Are those is going to go, you just wanna start over. Okay. So I was in, where was I? When I was doing that? Oh, I stayed in Philly. And when I stayed in Philly, I was, I see there's this infomercial that came on called Peabo Bryson. 's classic are Embi or classic soul hits or whatever. Now people, Bryson was an old singer that looks a little bit. He was like the for. He looks like, I don't know how old he is now, but he did. He was like a soul singer and like Nate do, but like Nate Dogg. But like you look a little bit like Nick delicate was bald and shit, but it the infomercial that I saw. Do you guys watch infomercial? Because I watch infomercials man, and I love watching infomercials because they make me feel because I don't really have to pay attention, but also they're selling some shit. And I know they don't believe in it. Now that's the best. They don't believe in this one is a little different. Maybe people. Some did like a lot of the things that this guy was saying maybe resin did like a lot of things that these guys made himself. But he he was selling first of all, compact discs and it's two thousand eighteen. Now I looked originally when this infomercial was created and it was created in two thousand and five. So this thing's thirteen years old and they still did the thing where they were like, if you call in the next eighteen minutes, you'll get this free like no man. So you know that those are bullshit. You know, those are bullshit. Now you never need to call the next one. They're like if you call the next ten minutes, you'll get, you know, those are bullshit because this was made in two thousand and five and they were still doing it thirteen years later. So thirteen years later. You can be if you call in the next thirteen years. You can still get what the fuck it is. You wanna get. It was thirteen years later. Now I watched this shit now first of all, you don't know. Here's the thing. One fire go the other way. You know. Anyway. I gotta do a little bit of a technical difficulty here. I got to plug this in here. So you guys fucking hold on one second wall. We're wall. You will hold on. You know what. That's it. We're in a, we're in. Us hit his head so hard on the puck and thank God. I wish you could see how a bitch you on fire looks trying to get around the studio. All right, so so people Bryce is doing this shit and they're all the songs I by Lionel Ritchie and Marvin Gaye and shit like that, and they're talking about how great it is. But when you watch you ever watch a football play that happened last week, it always looks like it's from the eighties. Did you notice that if they're like show a little bit of a clip from last week's game, it always you're always like, why the fuck does this look like it was? So it looks like a copy of a copy of a copy that show grainy like, but, but this shit, two thousand and five. It's crazy how. Different broadcasting was in two thousand and five. So first of all, they're selling compass compact discs and they're doing it still in two thousand eighteen. Hey, guys get with it. Okay. Also, people, Bryson, change your name. Of course Peabo. You know, Peabo Bryson. So. So it really, but the thing about it now I had a really emotional weekend and this is what started it off. I was watching this infomercial. And it was just so insane to see this shit and infomercial. I saw thirteen years ago to see how different the world is now like you can't buy compact discs even. I don't know who the fuck like literally they're trying to sell the last few that they have to the people dying tomorrow. You know, like a ninety year old is just like, oh, I want to get this. I want to get this because I like all those soul songs. And I've been looking for that Marvin Gaye song, you know. And so I was sitting there watching these info, this infomercial, and it was really affecting me in a real way. I started thinking about how it used to be when I was a kid. And by the way in two thousand five, I was twenty five. I was barely a kid, but it's I, it was just the whole nostalgia of it made me feel like I was young again, and I was like, wow, man, it's crazy how much has changed since I fuck in we since in in fucking thirteen years. So now. Now I go, I do. I do a gig in New Jersey, which I'm from New Jersey. Okay. And I played. Trenton, New Jersey, which is the college of New Jersey, which, hey, college. I appreciate a name like that. The college of New Jersey, if defied a college for that, your God when people are like, nah, it's cool to have fucking like, I don't know many colleges because I'm an idiot. But like some of them are called like. Like Duke, like what the fuck, you know, pick wherever you are. That's what it's like. When I say about the bands like you supposed to be named the Beatles or the birds or the fucking lions, you know, don't get all fucking death. Cab for Cutie. Bullshit on me with your college shit. Oh, yeah. Where do you go to college? Fucking. What's that one. Mellon, Carnegie Mellon is that a city. It's two guys. Last names. Go, fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself, dude. What are you a law firm. Fuck in Carnegie Mellon, law Carnegie Mellon out law. The law offices of Carnegie Mellon, Carnegie and Mellon. How about when they do fuck in when they're brothers and they do like Carnegie and Carnegie or like when they when they're the most Jewish last names of all time, and it's the law offices of Rosenbaum and Rosenbaum go, fuck yourself. Just say the Rosenbaum law offices, man. So I got a repeat, repeat it twice. You fuck an egotistical. We'd ought to choose. So. So any without a Jews. Always naming a fucking shit with you. Gotta say at twice. I mean, so many fucking call backs to other episodes people listening to the new shit. Definitely. People listening to the new episode definitely turning off now. So I was so yeah, but co- college college of New Jersey if to fight a college, whatever state it would be, it will be the college of that God damn state. That's the shit, California college of fucking Oregon, you know, Oregon state, but however they do it. That's the fucking shit don't get creative with with the thing. No, it's a college. Everyone wants to know where it is. So I put the college of New Jersey, and then I went and I played DC, which was fine, whatever. Then I went to play Carnegie Hall in New York. And it was insane. Here's the deal man. Carnegie Hall is the most traditional traditional most legendary, probably venue, or at least hitter in the in America. And it was in New York. They started it in eighteen ninety one, and I was like trying to get ironed out all the details before I got there like, oh yeah, I wanna get. I want to sell merchandise. I want to want to do it before the show. Usually my opener, Mike, he gets out there and he sells merchandise sales, our merchandise before the show, and he loves doing it and he goes out, sells before the show. And then he sells after the show. Carnegie Hall was like, can't sell it before the show. And I was like, why that makes no sense because there's an intermission I was like, what there's nine intermission in my fucking comedy show and they're like, no, we gotta do it because they make a lot of money. A lot of these theaters. They make a lot of money in intermission because the fucking. Bar sales in the intermission and I was like, well, I don't wanna do it. And they were like, well, then there's a fee and I was like, go, fuck yourself. Dude, there's a feed. They wanted to charge me for not having an intermission at hat. So I was like, no, tell him, no. And then my managers came up to me and I tried and like it's fine about like we're going to have to pay. So we're going to have to do an air mission and I was like, all right, that's fine. Then I'm just gonna. Walk out afterwards. It's fine. We could sell guys that can we sell merchandise intermission he said, yeah. So I said, okay, good. So then the maral good. They wouldn't let Mike seldom irt. So they had the fucking guys at Carnegie Hall sell the merch. So now by the way, who's emergency merchandise. But I'm I'm a code, I guess. So they fuck in selling the merch and we didn't make as much money as we usually do, which is fine. But then afterwards, we sold them anyway, whatever it doesn't matter about the March. What matters is I was getting pissed off before the show. I was like, oh, by the way, a higher. A photographer, and they were like, you can't take pictures here here. Here here here here you're fucking you take pictures like in the back route side, why to hire them. So anyway, I'm paying this guy a bunch of money to shoot the fucking night, right by the way, everybody. Okay. So I'm pissed off at the at the venue, right? And they're like, by the way, he needs to come into a mandatory sound check and I'm like, what? I'm a fucking comedian, not the killers. I'm not death cab for Cutie. I'm not fucking sparkle. Horse dude. Put out a monitor and a microphone where fine. They're like, we want him to walk around this theater and get a feel for it. Hey, man. Every shows that this same, I live in the fuck was that Bill Murray movie over and over again? Groundhog day? I live at every day's the fucking same. I go. I do my shit. It's fine if I need to adjust do it in fucking one Bill a second. 'cause it's my job. So they, they're like by the way, he has to show two and a half hours early at the soundcheck which is the worst shitty amount of time because I gotta go before. I don't have enough time to go back to chill and then come back. So I just got a hang there for two and a half hours, but up by go. Fuck yourself. No. But then in the back of my head, I'm like, well, I'm still gotta make this fucking money. So let's relax. So I'm trying to get to the fucking soundcheck. I don't go two and half hours early. I go an hour and a half early, which is fine. We settled on negotiators. You don't even need to negotiate. So I'm there and I walked in the theater. I walked into the actual theater and. It like hits me that I'm playing Carnegie Hall, which by the way I didn't even think about. I told my dad that I was going to play Carnegie Hall, and he started crying because he's from New York. His dad, my grandpa used to sell newspapers on the corner outside in fucking New York City. And my dad said, Wow, I've only seen George Carlin there at the fuck in. Carnegie Hall, and I can't even believe you're gonna. I'm gonna. That's the next time when Carnegie Hall as you. Why. And so for Father's Day, I got him a vintage George Carlin shirt, and he looks at me and he starts crying and he says, I'm going to wear this. I'm going to wear this when you play Carnegie Hall, and I say, oh, cool is because you know why. And I do know why because he's but he'll told me again, my dad's a master of Saint shit seventy five times. He was like, because I saw George Carlin play Carnegie Hall, and that's the only I know that's the only other time nine. Oh, but that's the only other time I've been to Carnegie Hall and it was in this. No, I know it was in the seventy and it was in the seventies. Okay. Now I know that how do you know that? Because you told me that four hundred and seventy five times he says, well, and he's crying. Okay. My dad is so sentimental. He cries at the end of fucking every TV show he watches, right? I'd be like what's going on is just law and order. So so so I get to Carnegie Hall, and when I step on the stage on the stage to do the soundcheck or whatever, which by the way, this is the sound check. One, two great works out bright. So I get out there. I step out onto the stage dude. It's actually breathtaking this stage. If you've never been to Carnegie Hall, it's so fucking annoying hug goddamn beautiful. It is. It's annoying that you can't go in there with a bat. I was like, you know what? I'm going to go and I'm gonna talk to the guy in charge. I'm going to give them a piece on my mind. I'd be like you kiss merchandising Virginia. So ridiculous. I get out there and I'm like. It's gold. The theater is golden white. It's beautiful and you don't realize how many times you've seen it on in movies and on TV and shit like that. I don't know how by the way because I don't know how the fuck they filmed because they're not allowed to fucking shoot anywhere, but I stepped out there and I'm like, wow, and I think about my parents and everybody that's going to be out there on my my, my, my, my, my family and my friends and people that I've met the years and shit that are going to be out there supporting me and it fucking made me feel like emotional. Okay. Again, all the way from fucking people Bryson's shit filling install GIC now I'm over at Carnegie Hall. Now, my dad tonight at this is going to make me feel nostalgic. Nostalgic for him to it for me, and it's logic for him for everyone. So I am lis-. I'm like, okay, so he comes to show everyone now gets to the show. I do the show fine guy. Everybody there. I got my dad and my fucking uncle my everybody. Second cousins, fuck and friends. My girl fucking Miller prison. Not there. My brother and. And because he had fucking deadline and shit like that. And I told him not to come because don't stress the fuck out. It's okay if you don't come because it would make all fuck, and Dan doesn't matter. It's fucking sold out anyway. So. So I'm fucking do the show and I get a standing ovation at the end. I'm not trying to fuck and brag, whatever, but I was sitting there taking it all in and almost fucking it was very emotional. Got some cool shots. The photographer was able to finagle some close shots. I get out and I'm like, I'm going to be anyway. My point is, is that I was in New York where I fuck in my, you know, my dad loved to see me perform and my mom is well and shit. And every time I saw my dad afterwards, he was like it was like an out of body experience and shit like that. And just trying to fuck in. He was trying to. He cried the whole time. You know, low pussy has bitch, you know, my dad and. I got a little bit of that sentimentality from him. My brother did not. But so then we all went to eat about forty five of us, and I just sat there and I was like, damn, it's crazy how. We're all together because you don't get to see people all the time. You know, like the only time you get to see people as a family is weddings and when people die right. So everyone's toast to my uncle Vinnie's there. He brought under Berg by the way, if you if you are there, if you're a congratulations by he brought a bunch of different own their bergh's for everybody that have alcohol in. And by the way, my cousin was trying like here, you got to drink. There's alcohol in this and there were like it's fucking alcohol in it. So I'm like, I'm not going to drink to shit, and we're having a good time and then and then my girl almost fucking chokes ever since someone choke by the way you ever see the terror in their face actually don't know if I wanna fuck and even get too far into this because it was really fucked up because I had such an emotional night and then seeing somebody that you care about almost die from by the way, choking is going to be the worst is that's gotta be the worst way to go. It's gotta be the worst way to go because you choke. First of all, choking is the weirdest thing because you have to do it to live. You've got to eat to live, but it can also kill you. That's not fair. Jesus Christ, hey, Jesus Christ. That's not fair. What the fuck son of God. What are you doing? We've got to eat and that can kill us, hey, Jesus Christ worried doing. I'd rather see someone I love commit suicide or jump in or or get hit by a train. Then fucking almost choke you see there look on their face. Twelve seconds of pure hell. It all worked out. She coughed it up. I did the Heimlich wrongly, but I like to take credit for it. And. I was trying to do it. My aunt was like lower lower. Look like I was just trying to Copperfield. David Copperfield. About the least funniest fucking. President ever. David Copperfield squeeze. How how, how far can hilarious. I guess it's not Clara's, but how amazing would it be? How brave you just went, David cop, who's your favorite? You know who I've ever magician is, and she said, who, and he goes David Copperfield and he goes squeeze. And then he just says, you're a survivor. Good. Hey, sweetheart? Yeah. First of all that sexist, but hey, sweetheart. Yeah, you know, my favorite magician is who David Copperfield squeeze era survivor and then wheels off in his wheelchair. Wow, would be my fucking up most favorite president. Gonna help. Going to hell, but still it's all good babies. You can't take it with you, but it's all good. In the meantime. I mean, so slow. You know, the fucking backing up the Brinks truck. In the meantime. So slow. Yeah, man. Anyway, it was a nostalgic get. And then the next night I go, so so between the fuck and almost joking, the show and the people Bryson shit, which started it off. I'm telling you that started off my nostalgic weekend, my cryan all my family members and shit be in their Carnegie Hall. I was. I was just unin emotional roller coaster, right? So then I go to play Montclair New Jersey, which is where I'm from, and I'm playing Montclair New Jersey and my best friend from Montclair New Jersey who I used to live next door from people don't get to do this dude. He hits me up and he's like, hey, do you want to get into your old house that you grew up in? And in my head, I go like this now because it's going to be too emotional for me, but I had already but jokes on. In you. That's that conversation happened a week before I'm telling you. And I said, guess already. So it's like Pulp Fiction, I'm telling the story. You don't know what the beginning isn't, what the end is. So so now I go see the fucking old house I grew up into, and I don't want to give you the address because you guys are crazy and you'll show up, but I go and I stepped in now it's been twenty. Now it's been twenty six, seven years since I've been in that house twenty six years. And I step in and my fucking overwhelmed with emotion already from the from everything in the weekend, and I'm in the house. I grew up in and I and all these fucking emotions are flooding back to me. I'm like, oh my God. This is where I asked my mom. If I could say the word shit for the first time and she said, okay, and I got scared and I ran away. I said, at the at in the dining room, I was like, hey, mom, can I say the s word is a swear word. And she said, yeah, and I said, what really? And she said, sure you could do it once. And I said, no, I'm too scared and I ran away like a fucking bitch. Okay. And then I was like, oh, this is the fuck. These are the stairs I ran down during. When when we that one Christmas and I and I ran past my brother because they told they told my brother let my brother go first because he was Littler and I thought that was bullshit. So I blasted right by him and his head hit the fucking side of the ball, and he and he didn't miss the smart. And we have video of it dude. One time I was running out for Christmas and my brother, my brother was running down for Chris was walking because he's he's going to slow because he had little legs and I was a little bit older and they were like, let I let my go. I and I blew right by a hit them into the wall. And he was smiling because it was Christmas and his head hit the fucking side of the wall, and he didn't stop smiling and kept walking. And dude we laugh because it was so funny because he was just, he knew he hurt himself, but he was still too excited. Costanza came real shit, dude. That is real shit, man. So. And I was like, oh, this was the fucking part where I realized I had OCD. This was the moment where I realized I had OCD because I was lining up my micro machines and in a row and I'll go Vinnie what the fuck into wallets came over and sat down before owned their Burg. And he was like, hey, what's this one? I really like it and I screamed at the top of my lungs because he missed. He messed up my cars. He messed up my micro machines. Man, they were supposed to be on the line. He picked one up and he was supposed to do that. And in my little head with OCD that was his fault, hip nails are supposed to. And he put it back because I screamed like a fucking bitch. S. Whatever, dude, it's what makes me me now, see the doctors will tell you that's not what makes you who you are because these demon, and it's not a party, but I would argue it helps with your creativity now. Is that a fucking bad thing to say to people who have OCD? Yeah, because maybe it will make feed into your own OCD. But don't do that, I guess. But also if it could could be gene. If you're a fucking if you have today and you're really into math and that helps you do math, it could be Jane. Or it could be fucking serial killer and keep fucking heads in your Fraser. So anyway, I was like, oh, this is the part. This is where they opened up walls and they Bill. Here's the other thing too. When you go back to a place that you haven't been to in twenty five years, it's so much. And now it's so much it shrinks. I don't give a fuck what people say like, oh, but you were Littler and your memory distorted it? Nope, things get smaller. I walked into that house. It was so much smaller than I remember it. And guess what? That's not my fault. It fucking shrunk my house shrunk, dude. I was walking downstairs and I was like, oh, this is the moment. This is the moment where I I, where I remember starting the moment. I know the moment I believe I started believing in God and I'm not saying I believe in it anymore. I don't know who knows if there's a fucking God or an afterlife. I don't fucking know. And if you say there is one, if we're going to have you say there isn't one if I can idiot because guess what? You don't know why you're live and anyone who was alive, hasn't died yet. You saw a bright light almost died. Cool. That's your mind fucking with you doesn't mean shit. Doesn't mean fucking shit, Dylan. Then then then so. So now I am. I remember the moment I of believing in God when I was a kid when I was a kid, I believe in God, dude, how fucking kid is it to believe in God. You know how I started believing in God. When I was a kid I was, I was looking for some. I don't even remember what it was, but it was. It was a toy and let me tell you it was very fucking important. Okay. I needed to Tori. And I couldn't find it. I looked all over the house and I was standing at the top of the stairs in the basement because I was on the east coast and east coast have basements in west coast. Don't have basements for some fucking reason, but that's how it is in America. So I said God in my head as a fucking crazy little asked motherfucking OCD bitch, motherfucker. I was like God. If you just tell me where this fucking Toya's I'll believe in you. And right then I thought, oh, God's telling me. God's telling me, it's in the basement under the end table with the lamp on it, and I ran downstairs and I looked under the table with the lamp on it, and there was the toy and I sat on the floor and I thought, oh my God, there is a God. I didn't realize that my mind is my mind and I can come up with those ideas by myself. In my head God put now, here's, here's the thing. People still think of shit like that, and they're adults and they're not. They don't live in fucking like tribes and shit. They have like walls and toasters and an actual functioning society, and people still think God give them ideas like that. Those people. You're crazy. Okay. You're a crazy lunatic. Why? Because that's your mind, but I was fucking eight and that's when I was like there's a God, so I just want, you know, if you're an adult that thinks that you're eight, you secretly eight. But that's what I started believing in God. Yup. And then there was I was I looked at the fucking back window and I remember the back. I remember that's where I got my first fucking boner dude. I remember that's where my first Boehner man where I started to like chicks. Because I was, I was I was I was looking at the glass window pane, mirror playing with toys and the glass windows pain with my fucking neighbor, Julie and she a little bit older and we were playing with toys and the glass window pane and it looked aggressive under pain shrunk, dude, it's shrug. I didn't get bigger. It Trump dude, and my memory is shrunk. And so and so we're playing with toys and I saw the fucking and I was like, damn, dude. I kind of wanted to touch Julie. That's I got my first Boehner. I was chosen a Whitney or the window. Dude, they redid the kitchen. They put another balcony and over the balcony. I was like, oh dude, they don't have this balcony anymore. They made it. They covered it. And now it's part of the inside and I was like, this is where I broke the indestructible plates. I was like, my mom told me that the plates were indestructible and that you could drop them in there and they don't break. And so I was trying to fuck in. Impress my friend, Keith Testa, and I was like, these don't fucking break, look, and I came out, went outside and it took the plate and I was like, I dropped it on the stone and it shattered into a million pieces. And I looked at Keith, and I was like, oh, it's supposed to not break, and I was like my Dom break plates just like you can't throw them on the fucking ground outside. That's. Then don't call them fucking on breakable plates. That's how I started developing. Personality. All sorts of shit. I gotta do ads Faulk, but then I remembered also there's a park behind the fuck and play. Do I remember everything? Man? We used to in the park. We used to fucking bury dirty pictures. Me and my fucking best friend met. We used to bury pictures of girls with fucking from playboy that fuck and Thomas used to take us to give us because he was the older kid that had fucking bad bigger ins. He had fucking playboys and he would rip out the pages and he would give us. He would give us pictures of new chicks four fucking those potato skin treats that we would have. I would go. And he would be like, y'all give you a picture of this chick. If you can give me your potato skin bites and be like yo say, no more fam- here my potato skin bites. Let me see that. Fuck and chicks Teddy's and he would give me them and I put him up pocket, and I feel like fucking to do. Dum dum dum dum in second grade all around the fucking school in the playground through fucking recess through language arts. I will be fucking keeping titties in my pocket, dude. And I've got teens in my pocket, and the other one is touching my boner little bit. So then I went and I buried the fucking pictures of titties in a base. In a baseball fucking card box and buried them in the back of fucking Yanic are brook park and the fucking kid who lived on the other side. Again, brook park this mother fucking bitch ass told my dad about it. He came back and I was like, missing. I want you to know now this is where I learned some shit. Dude. My my dad told my dad. I want you to know Chris and Matt are doing some bad shit. And my dad said, oh yeah, what? And he knocked on this fucking door. And he said what he said. They got dirty pictures of girls in the Becky Annika brook park, and my dad said, oh yeah, he said, yeah, he said, okay, and he closed the fucking door on. And my dad told me about that shit. And I said, did you get mad? And he said, of course it and get mad. And even if I was mad, I wasn't going to let that fucking kid know that I was mad because he thought he was telling on you and I wanted him to feel stupid, dude. Are you fucking kidding me? That's fucking welcome this on and and got a gun. That's so fucking dope and mafia shit that my dad did that when I forget his name, I think it was Mike something all fucking shitty guys named Mike, and he was any fucking I want you all really ain't close the fucking door on them. Chill beach. That's what my dad did to fuck in that shitty kid. And then of course, my fucking friend. Mack got in trouble too, but not really though, because. Beat because we weren't going to let that kid kicking needed to fuck that kid. Fuck them as a seven year old shit. And then you know what I did is a fucking boss player. You know what I did as a fucking boss player did come player when I was nine. I fucking went the next day. I took potato skins and I traded him for Thomas for some more fucking nudie pictures. And then I'll probably like, oh, you know. You know, you probably shouldn't have done that. 'cause you already got caught? Well, guess what I fucking did. I came home. I took those nudie pictures and I walked up to my dad's office. My dad was in his office. I walked up knocked on the door, opened the door. I fucking through the nudie pictures on his desk. And I said, those are the picks, and I walked out. Beach. Yup, dude. That's how we're living as delays. Dude. She'll beach, hey, Mike, you think you're gonna fuck an earth, some dirty Teddy's. You think you're going to unearth some dirty tickets to thirty in a public park and get me in trouble by telling my dad about that shit. Oh, guess what? Motherfucker. I still got some potato skins to spare. Beach. That's right, man. I loved going back to my fucking old house, dude. All right, dude. Got to add breaks. All right. You guys. Post mates as usual, your stomach and the rest of your life are at war. 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Follow the leader tour a lot of stuff sold out, but Miami's coming up. I'm looking forward to going to Portland, it's all sold out, man. I'm looking forward to go to Portland and fucking Seattle, and also gonna couvert doing two shows Hoover. By the way. So anyway. Yeah. What else did I see when I went way on the way home. When I saw him fucking way home, what else did I see? I just it was crazy going back. I saw that my brother Pedone the laundry. That's another one. My brother fucking had a fever and he was walking around and nippy doesn't laundry shoot. Do they used to have fucking crazy dreams about my mom's laundry room too. I used to have recurring dreams about how there were Santa's and my mom's laundry room and how I used to try and fit myself down the laundry chute. Hey, that's gotta mean something. Fucked up right seances. Yeah, man. I used to get, you know what else happened? Also. I used to be out of my mind scared when I was. When I was a kid I used to run into my mom's dad's room in my parents room, and that would be like, hey, guys, I'm scared and they'd be like, okay, well, we got to go to bed. I'm like, no, I know. But I'm just scared. And the one time that I talked about this in the buckets my dad said, what are you scared of? And I said, birds. Everything that I said that I did. I would be scared of everything. I will be so scared and. You know, what's weird is too, I got. Do you ever wake up in the middle of night and you're scared? I mean, that hasn't happened since I was fifteen, maybe, but what was weird is it happened on Thursday nut? No. When I was in Philadelphia, I woke up in the middle of the night and I looked. Into the other room in my hotel room had didn't just have the whole tournament also had another room because it was fucking sweet. And I looked and I was like, what? If like a fucking shadowy figure a demon or a ghost was just there. And then I couldn't fuck and fall asleep again because I was like, what if there is a shadowy figure in a fucking demon or a beast there, and I had to get up and close the door like a fucking bitch ass. So I could sleep again. And then I think I turned the TV on and a light on I'm thirty eight dude. What a bitch. But I was scared and then. Got it was so weird. Dude. I never felt like such a fucking kit again, this whole weekend man. My dad showed me, here's a look at this Instagram comment from a stranger. I got. And it said how I did a good job at Carnegie Hall, and he was reading it to me and started crying about a fucking strangers, Instagram comment. You know what I mean? Hey, buck up. Hey, you're seventy. Buck up. I don't know, man, I'm just fucking around. I think emotional intelligence is is more important than fucking intelligence intelligence, and I'm talking about than brains like these fucking smart ass numbers guys idiots when it comes to everything else, some of them, some of them not all of them, but some of them they just don't know what the fuck are doing in life. Like those kinds of guys are always like Wall Street type guys and shit that they don't. They don't. They don't sit down and heart to heart. You know. Like now has got time fucking turn and burn Burnett money, trying to fuck and stack cheddar. I'm trying to sit on fuck and not. Hey, dude. I got a fuck and fat wallet too, but you still gotta cry. Sometimes there's a quote. You can have a fucking fat, wallet, but cry. Sometimes. For real man. You could fuck and sit all lopsided on not, but you still got a cry sometimes. Hey dude, you could be sitting on fuck and knots, berry farm, but you still got a fucking still got to let some liquid leak out of the top party of fuck and head. Sometimes. How about that too? Sit on knots, but also leak. Truth, because if you're just sitting on knots and you don't leak, you ain't shit at if you just leak and you don't sit on not so you can still be something man. You don't have to sit on nuts to not be a real to be a real fucking person. Vinnie sits onto nuts, and I think you leak sometimes. But you gotta fuck in you. Gotta you gotta cry. You gotta. Fuck and cry. Don't just I cried on my podcast about two to three weeks ago. Somebody left a comment on my things like, hey man, you should've crowd on your pockets. Men don't. Men don't cry. They shouldn't cry, bro. What is this nineteen? Fifty two fucking Danny Zuko bro. What are you talking about. Hey, fuck and connect leak. What are you talking about? Men don't cry, and I'm not into all this fucking crybaby liberal shit. By the way, you know how about the red dead redemption, video games coming out with some shit and they're like. They worked one hundred plus hours for weeks each week to get this video game under. On a deadline and the internet is up in arms. I tweeted about it. They're like, oh, well, this is a mismanagement. You shouldn't overwork people, one hundred hours. You shouldn't do this and that people are like, oh, really fucking they really fucked up. Some of these tweets pull up about read, read read, but it's like, dude, how much fake outrage can we have dude, you don't give a fuck that people are working one hundred hour workweeks by the way, getting paid and to to have a video game come out. It's not like this is a sweatshop dude, and they're putting souls on fucking. Sokha knees or how the hell you say that word. Nobody knows by the way. Kony Salk any sausage, whatever the fuck it is. That's what I would do. I would have that fucking right there. Go up. Yes, Shannon, Sharpe red dead redemption. Do campaign is sixty five hours long. I don't know. That's my favorite of all time. When your girl asked to look through your phone. But. How did he say that. That's the best of all time. I told one fire that meme, and he was like, I don't like that one and I was like, you will bro. It's got everything. It's so bitch, it's so fucking like that fo- machismo. Damn, dude, Shannon, Sharpe, dude. How about his face that guy, you couldn't create a face better than that. And he's got to wear tortoiseshell glad that guys. The man, I never saw sharp, not make a catch. What was he a tight end, but he was a tight and but that dude was the show and I used to watch shop. I'd be like, man, that guy's this shit catch every ball. By the way. I'm gonna throw it fifty yards down and you're going to catch it. Even though you're the tight end. Tell you what Shannon Sharpe. I'm going to throw it not in the field, but in row f, f you think you can catch it. Fucking grab. Hey, hey, we're playing in Dallas stadium, Shannon, Sharpe. I'm John Elway by the way I'm gonna throw a fuck and pass all the way to the Seahawks stadium. You think you can get you out. By the way, he's just saying LA, LA, LA problem. So the red red red dead redemption by the way, fuck red dead redemption, dead red, red dead, red dead, ran Dan when damp pram redemption. You playing one hundred on a rant. Dan dams, bam. Damson lampton. Shane on a random revamp chant. And everyone's like pull ups on the people over one hundred hours. They knew what they were getting into. They knew fucking come deadline. It was a deadline that needed to go stop your fucking fake, outrage, man, because you know what's up with that. Outrage the people who are fucking working on that video game. They know the deadline is coming up and they know they're going to not be able to see their family for the next few weeks and they know they're going to lose sleep. We'll guess what. Because that's fucking workman. Dude, I've talking worked hard and my marriage fucking dissolve because I had to fucking do open mics and not even get paid. And my ex wife was like, what the fuck? This is what I thought marriage was going to be. And I was like, yeah, but you're not going to be saying this shit when I'm playing and touring around the world, and we're making fucking money. And the Brinks truck is fucking backing up and we're going to be fucking toting around with diamond rings on, and you're gonna have all the dresses you want. And then you're going to be like. But right now it sucks because we're young shit. But when you're fucking walking around like the Queen Sheba, you're going to be fucking. They know stop picking something, stop picking something to be upset about. That's the problem you're picking something to be upset about because you fucking life Saxon fucking kill the coal, be happy with what you got man. Because there's people with it worse off than you. Lalla problem. Lulla problem. LA problem. I see fucking one fire writing down the problem because that's probably the name of the episode. Dude, it's it's just. Who gives a fuck about anything about video games? How about that plan? Be happy or don't play video games. Cude is man seeing other people between about that about that too. And here I calm the fuck an anti hero. Hey, you motherfucking I put up a tweet. Stop. Stop with all the shit. There's no Bigfoot stop, stop with all this shit. The Loch Ness monster Sayyah would've found ready by or is bounce. I wrote the fakeness of people claiming outrage for red dead redemption crunching to make a deadline. It's fucking so hilarious. It is peak s. j. w. shit, social Justice warrior. You simply do not actually give fuck about how hard video game company works to make a deadline, and you know this. In this guy writes, the thing is that this has become the standard for the industry and I don't think it really should be. I don't like when people also put question marks at the end of sentence, things that should be sentences. Most cases, most cases, they don't get paid overtime because most developers are on a salary. So a lot of the time it's people putting themselves through hell for no bonus. And that's true. So I wrote, I sure, however, also people on the internet. Don't give a fuck. That's my gripe that's. Gripe. I'm just tired of fucking people's noses facing Minos man have a face the same way. Anyway, that's what's up. You want to do some Twitter questions. Let's do some Twitter questions. Man. I like to shake it up and do Twitter questions earlier sometimes because sometimes they leave me on a good, fuck and tangent. Like last time. Dude, Peabo Bryson, you know, hey, here's some. I'm never going to do. I want to address this actually. Before we get into Twitter questions, somebody asked me this on Twitter. I think every fucking three hours somebody writes me, hey, we're going to be at your show or this and that show. Can you give my friend birthday? Can you give a shoutout dude. Imagine me stopping my. Act that I've worked very hard on and being a wait and be like, oh, there's a birthday now talk about this or any on the? I think I did. It was my Instagram or something like that. I don't remember anyway, I'm never given a shot. I'm never given a shout. Oh, you have a birthday. Oh, dude. You're, you're the good friend. How annoying is the good friend? I'm I'm just it's not even for me my friend and she means the world to me. It's her birthday. A really dude. Let's see what it looks like. When your top lip touches your bottom lip. Let's see what it looks like when it stays there. Now tell me, oh, you can't. Thanks. Turn round. I just I'll never stop my show to give a shoutout I it's not. I don't. I'm not a fucking DJ you know what I mean? DJ bro. How fucking awful it must be. Can you play. Caroline. Can you play? No dude. Yeah, I'll never give a shout out on my fucking. What kind of comedian? I don't know one comedian that would do that to be honest. What do people think going to comedy shows the fuck you think is going on. We're getting paid the fucking bow, coup bucks to fuck and come in and do a show in your city. I'm not stopping it. So your friend, John can feel good about his birthday. I don't give a shit. We all have birthdays. Oh, it's your birthday. Well, guess what? I'm I'm a job is witness. I don't give a fuck about. Go show ship. And you know we, they'll give because it's your birthday. That's me. I don't give a fuck. All right. Twitter questions. Hey, Leah, trib at Latrobe. Hey, Chris. What the fuck is person say, hey, Christly I'm a wedding photographer, and a guide tried grinding on me during cha-cha slide turnround gung, Tim, and the an another dude across the room pointed me and yelled Trubisky. That's cool to babies United at a fucking wedding. That's cool. You said gung to a guy that tried to grind on? Yeah. What's up with guys that fucking go up on a chick and grind just because they're on a dancefloor boy, that's going to be a boy. I know it's out of fashion that's going to be legal in about a month and a half. Did you see the girl? The lady that tried to claim that the nine year old sexually assaulted her? Did you see that? Oh my God, dude. And then I found out that the lady was white and the kid was black, and I was just like Jesus Christ come on lady, give white people a break. There was footage of it, and then you saw the footage and the kid. Literally, it was his backpack that hit her by mistake and she called the cops on a nine year old. Hey, even if a nine year old is purposely grabbing your ass. Guess what you're supposed to do buck up. You're supposed to look at that nine year old and be like. Fuck off, dude. Who cares? You're not a survivor because nine year old grabbed your asshole. Who cares? Dude, Goto, fuck in work. Fucking idiot. You're a survivor because someone grab your ass. You know, I had a fucking. I've taken a picture. There was a seventy year old lady. That was a big fan of mine. She was like the funky road seventy year old lady, though she might have been sixty five, something like that, and she would come see me all the time and she was always giving me those sex is. And she asked for a picture always asked for one time asked for a picture, and she fucking. Took her hand her fuck in sixty five year old hand. Grab the my fucking nuts. Grabbed my nuts. And I guess sexually assaulted me and I went, what the fuck are you doing? And then I forgot about it. Then I forgot about it. I survived though. You know why? Because in the grand scheme of things. Alex at Ed, you got to make these bigger, broke commodity fucking eagle, Edgar Roth, Alex, Edgar Roth, isn't that a singer? Isn't that the guy using. Who's things on the Eminem ripped off. And to park, they put it to park on it. I don't know anyway, whatever. How do you feel about restaurants that serve their food in quirky, bro? You're a fan of mine. Got them. Well, how I feel about this first of all, but I'm going to continue the shit. How do you feel about restaurants that serve their food in a quirky dish? Like a polished shovel or a piece of slate focused on making your food tasty. He writes, look, I agree, dude. Oh my God, there's a fucking polish. We gotta re tweet from the competitors, but. Beans. They got fucking chicken. Some sausage links looks like veggie patties and eg. First of all, how much got the meat is on your, hey, man, stop. What do you feed is that for seven people eating so much meat going to die tomorrow? Hey, at least you have a shovel to dig your fucking grave in fucking, hey, dude. Was that a Denny's? Because I just gave you a fucking pipe in hot grand-slam, dude, stop being so much night Haber. What are you fucking looking for? Nitrates. Bro. Sky loves nitrates. I don't even know what nitrates is by millions of nitrates bro. Got got fucking lotion with nitrates and shed. He just. Did he just someone guys? I want some fucking nitrates. So, yeah, shovel got if someone let me tell you some dude, if I'm at a restaurant and somebody hands me food with any sort of played on it, that isn't just a fuck in plate. I right. And how about when they. When you get the salmon, it's slow cooked. Don't tell me. Shit is slow cooked either. I don't give a fuck, put it in front of me. Don't brag about how long it takes for you to make your food. You suck at it, then make it quicker. Come on, get fucking uncle Ben in here. That guy could do it in sixty seconds. Oh, you slow cooked your fucking pork. Loin. Eat my ass. I can pull my pants down in two seconds and give you a meal. How about that. And the slabs cave, coming, man. Dude, you know what? If I had a Denny's, I'd get a fucking revolving door. That's it. I'd act like it was someplace in Times Square. Dude. I'd act like I had a fucking news. A newspaper company in the God damn thing because that's that's what's up because I need a revolving door my Denny's because that's how much people are getting the fucking all American slams and you can get there. You can create your own fucking slam. Best you're doing anyway. I literally have about him. I have no idea what I'm talking about right now. I forgot. What did he ask me? Oh, yeah. Dude have a plate plate. That's it. Don't give me a fucking hubcap on a plate. You're not fun and funky focus on making your food. This guy's right. Make your food good presentation comes second presentation is still something, but if you're a fucking servant food in shovel or a hubcap, your food sucks. But the when they give it to you on a wood plank. That shit drives me nuts. Just put it on. I don't give a shit. Yeah, the salmon tastes a little bit better when it served on cedar. I don't give shit. You're going to be an aneurysm. Now I got fallen off the thing. It looks like one of those old Japanese fucking. Shoes that women used to wear the socks still on them. Got anymore. Oh, yeah, dude. What's up with this? This guy, David Kurz Kurz David thoughts on people who get mustache fingers. Yeah, you know, shit where they get it like this so they can do that and and do the fake mustache over there. What are you? What do you do? What are you what you are? You're so so you so don't have a personality if you do that because that's in place of a personality. You think you're the fun guy. When you have a fucking mustache and you put it up like that, like you're trying to not sneeze by the way, how does it how well that works sneezing. Sneeze. You're like, oh, I gotta do is press at shit. That's Jesus Christ. Shoulda figured out beforehand Trump every time I do that. I'm about to do that. And I and I don't. I look up in there and I go like this. Hey, Jesus. Gotcha. Those mustache, the first guy who did that was kind of. Okay, cool. Great. The second guy who did that Ikuta. Guy deserves to get fucked. You know. Are there any more? No, that's that. Is the worst to maybe besides some Stevo get your name on his ass or whatever Jesus Christ, you know, come on, Stevo love the guy. No, but come on. Anyway. I guess we're good. It's about one hour and six. Let me do the fucking wrapping up ship. That I do all the things I did all the. Blue blue apron. Okay. I'm gonna read. I'm going to put it. I'm going to do this ad how it said, one fire, fucked it up blue apron. Heck out this week's menu and get your first three meals free at blue apron dot com. Slash congrats. So guys don't forget to heck it out. Go online and check it out. I guess I gotta say the real way so we get, we get paid. So check it out. And then download the cash out for free on the app store or Google play market and to rewards code. Congrats get five dollars gift, five dollars time's up. Thank you so much for listening and subscribing. Please subscribe to the YouTube channel. We're almost at two hundred thousand subscribers. Let's get there. You know, maybe we'll be there by the next week. I'll see in Miami and Jacksonville coming up West Palm Beach, Atlanta, Georgia, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Boston, Massachusetts, Fresno, California Bakersfield Austin and San Antonio for some reason, subscribe rate and review the shows that really helps rate and review the show I want to get in the fucking top ten here. I, I don't think I've gone the top except for when we first came out, but I think we've been in twelve recently, but let's get up there. Video episodes go up on Tuesdays or Wednesdays and follow the leader, buy tickets on crystalline dot com. New dates for two thousand nineteen new days for two thousand nineteen announcing soon. We got an ounce, Chicago, Saint Louis. Next week we're doing, we're going to announce it, but we got a bunch of ones coming out Windsor. Some that's a fucking place going to narnia going to perform for some fucking goats in a closet. All right, guys, you guys thank you very much and. You know. You guys are you guys are the best man. Somebody guys probably suck fucking dick though somebody suck shit guys. Thank you so much for listening. You guys are the best you know when people say you guys are the best. Thanks for listening. I saying that but also with the caveat, some guys listen are probably fucking soul annoying shitty and you've probably suck. And even the people that love that you love that love you publicy fucking stock in your listeners, but I appreciate you. Thanks very much.
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Aired Last week 36:28
Ep. 83: Chris Jones and Chicago Theater
You're listening to Chicago stories a podcast from city hall, featuring the stories of everyday Chicagoans and special guests as told to mayor Rahm Emanuel. This is mayor Rahm Emanuel Chicago stories were here with Chris. Joe's theater critic, his new book rise up Broadway and the American society from angels in America at the Hamilton. How's it going? It's going. All right. It's pretty well. Yeah. I am happy with it. Yeah. I think the idea for it came when I was I was watching the Tony awards in two thousand sixteen that was the day of the shootings at the pulse nightclub in Florida. Remember and during the day, there'd been a lot of discussion over whether they would even be Tony was because so many people had died. It was Latino night at that nightclub. And so it was lots of just a lot of people who the theater held very close to his heart who died that very day. And then so that was the Tony was and then I remember seeing President Obama and the first lady essentially introducing them. Well Miranda on the Tony awards. And I thought to myself has there ever been another sitting president it any award show? Oscar. Ami's tone is thing. Who's actually introduced a guy? You know, who who done a what was after all a commercial show, and I thought to myself. Okay. That means that Hamilton is crossed into the political consciousness like no other show before. And I thought that's a moment that really needed to be chronicle. So I thought what I would do is look at how we got to that moment. How did the theater figure out how to manage that? What was it was it just his genius? Or was it like, you know, other lessons in that for? Shinnecock has touched. I mean, I've seen it twice. Once a New York wants here like daughter who's now a sophomore she's seen it four times. Why not just about the Hamilton? I know there's a larger context, which is the way theaters gotten into the DNA of our society, and the way it's all the other thing. It's kind of embedded now. I think is that true. I think the sold them before. Yes. I think so I think Hamilton that's not a separate question from the Hamilton question. I I think that Hamilton essentially physically it's about the founding of this nation. So therefore, it interests people at you inherently because it it sort of politicians went people in government. When treasury secretaries went presidents went mas- when people were just interested in. So I think that was part of it. And I think the message there is that when autism deal with issues of substance, then you know, that that's a good thing. So I think partly it was to do with them Bishen. I think the second thing was that made this point. Of having a diverse cast. So in other words, the diversity of the show. And in fact, that we'll recognize these founding fathers, as we think of them as old white guys in our wallets, you know, on a ten dollar Bill and in fight this show said these were young vibrant people. And I think the idea of having that reflected in the show is another thing. And then the other thing about it. And this is the more subtle thing. Maybe it's an inclusive show. So it doesn't matter if you're white or black or if you're young or old or whether you like hip hop. What you think you hate hip on the show is generous that I'm what I mean by generous is it it gets people where they are. It's sort of like, a great politician rally or a grey or a great governmental leader understands like I mean, I think President Obama had many of these same qualities. He so rarely used language of division when he was president. And he always spoke as if he was the president of all Americans funds as I just came from lunch. I was talking to somebody who's asked me question. I said a very. Successful president is multi-lingual. How'd you may multi-lingual President Obama President Clinton? I would say this is also true actually about George Bush forty three wherever and not true forty one in this case is they can go to a boardroom, and they can go to church, and they wouldn't miss a beat right? So they could speak to different audiences understand them where they are and include them in the same story that they were telling one of the things that Bush forty one in the, you know, it was a good, president, etc. He looked like he was could not do that. He only had a sliver when you look at what Mitt Romney versus President Obama in two thousand twelve Mitt Romney did not look like he was in touch and understood all of America, but his background only gave him cast in his language reflected where he came from Anhui wasn't didn't have a wide lens. You said generous. I'm thinking I'm saying it also multi-lingual, which is I mean, Bill Clinton could go into a black church and be up in a boardroom two hours later and not miss a beat. Can you learn that skill or are you just born with us go if you have or do I would say, I think you can I think I mean, I think I have some capacity, but I don't think I had it around people. But the real the people that are at that extra level. They have a six cents for it. Yeah. They can hone it over practice, but they have a six cents in embedded. It's part of who they are take Barack for a second President Obama. I mean, he represented the south side. Chicago's a state Senator wasn't Senator the whole state long enough that you could the campaign gives me and then he's president of the United States. You said I think it propia by that people greet or not was generous in his spirit representing the whole country. Yes, his background doesn't say that. That's what he would have been. Right. So that tells you something I think real illustrates it. Well, the thing about anything in the offices of voluntary act. So in the woods, let's say you wanna make political change through something in the arts. I think you have. Two people have to want to go and see it will have to want to buy a ticket. So you might want to change the world, but it's good play into an empty house on. It's no good plan to six people you agree with when we say Chicago theater. What do you think that conjures up in your mind, and is thing called Chicago theater? And why did Chicago get the storefront? Like, no other city has in the sense of the storefront theatre. I've lived in this city for close to thirty years, and I've devoted most of my professional life to the Chicago theatre, I enjoy Broadway. And I go to New York, and I like all that. But you know, the bulk of my work has been here. I'm watching these great theaters here. And I think that Chicagoans a very proud of the theater, I sort of laugh sometimes because people will be proud of it who never go. You'll meet somebody in that goal. Yeah. We got great theater here. I'm like you see in the show now. But hey, we got great. So after twenty years, you've got the Chicago. So people here are actually proud of it, even though they don't guy. So I think that's great. You know, you run into people in Basel say that. So I I think that's great. I mean, obviously, it's a big city. So I think that's been part of why this is happening here. Obviously, we have great universities, many of which have great osbour- grams, and many of the people who graduated from those programs have stuck around. So I think that's part of it too. And obviously, you know, we have certain real estate's a little easier here than in New York City, and it's always been the scene here as always been yo- young. I've, you know, it's almost like a big grad school for autistic and Deva, and that's aggressive more pushing. Yes. All right. So it tends to deposit with in a positive way for the most part. Anyway, I mean, not entirely, but for the most part, and so I think that's all true. And then there has been an aesthetic that grew up here. And I think we have to thank people like Steppenwolf for that and certain individuals and Billy Peterson people like that which is an aesthetic of just not messing around that actually telling the truth, and there has been true. Additionally here a bit of isolation from the business. So that you're not gonna have, you know, people like your brother, for example, and not knocking around on every street corner in Chicago in the way that they may be in L A, New York. So it always has to be about the work here. There's no agents thorough agents nuts, but they're not. You're not immediately gonna be grabbed and sort of snapped away. Not fast enough that that's what motivates so you can build something. Yeah. And I think you also Steppenwolf was a storefront that now is stepping more right now about to announce a big new expansion a now become a major cultural institution. But I think that famo- Chicago artists, it has to be about the work because the rewards a simply not that great the other rewards, and you know, there's a downside to that. Because you do have people struggling along. And we do sometimes struggle to retain people, you know, that that's true of Chicago in Oldfield's. Right. This always these attractions on the coasts. And I think that is an issue in Chicago. But the. I always come back. Yeah. You know, if you ask them where they're from. Yes. Those artists that move on. They'll always say, I'm from Chicago. They never now kind of put their John in the New York or LA, at least I have found that I think the bona fide the bona fides a here, they believe in is here. They also find that the work. They do he if you look at a lot of the older actors you become famous they were happy here when they were twenty five Wook for not much money in some storefront, you know, taking the train and drinking afterwards and living the dream. That was when they were happy then they move on. They find themselves stuck in the business. They don't get to do what they wanna do. They have all this pressure. They have all these fancy people around them to become big celebrities, and then never as happy, and I think we represent you know, you can own they were most creative. And also was the are crap. Yes. This is the year of the Chicago theater. Yes. Long overdue. Yeah. We'll talk a little about that. But that said if you think of kind of the big five at least, and I don't know if you agree with this Steppenwolf Shakespeare Goodman looking glass court. Yes. In the city that that you say. Somebody's coming in from out of town. They said, look, I know I've read up on Chicago. I know about the storefront theater and the theater, I know about those gimme the next three storefronts. I gotta know before they become institutions. And I like I wanna know that artist. I want to know that writer, I want to note that theater, and you can do five doesn't have to be three. But if they call you and they happen to have your cell number because the mayor gives it out. That's a haircut. Chris jones. Go ahead. Personally besides show. Yeah. You mean companies companies that you say in ten years gonna be this. You're going to be reading about this company. Well, I think I don't know if you think they exist today, or is no, I think I think those companies exist. I mean this one for example on booing avenue called steep data. Right. Under the attracts on Boeing, you know, right now, they have a show that's very critical of Chicago theater actually written by Kulta, but is critical of the topic of the theatre community. It's really probing, for example, when an autism goes into a neighborhood and opens up a storefront theater, thus bringing about gentrification because the coffee shops just be right behind him. Do they really know the neighborhood that they're moving into? And in the question that this play is asking is called red. Rex very interesting play it. The question is asking is really who has the right to tell his story. And is of course, a huge issue in cultural sort of cultural ideas in the moment. So I think steep theater is very promising. I think timeline theatre which is moving. Into the the new uptown entertainment industry. Just got a new theater on Broadway on they're about to do that. I think time-line theaters very good. This is great little theatrical. Jack lope that is actually in the Edgewater armory, which has the single worst though. Single words. Was physical setup of any theater. You gotta walk through a gym. You gotta go up six flights of stairs. You gotta go. All the way in the back. You gotta go pasta circus trip. You wanna see? Can't believe you're paying money them. Get chicago. Would you find the theater in such a Saturday? And then when you get there often, gray, and you often go. Yeah. This is great work, and they focused on some of these great new riders. I mentioned I call to this woman called cloudy west who's been working in town. And these are all Rytas who, you know, people are sniffing around on the coast, but doing really great work here. So I think you know, those companies are really good. There's a company co broken nose. I like a lot. There are mostly sort of. I tin Arain company. They work at the, Dan. And they work on the north side. They take their name from that Nelson. Ogrin description of Chicago way, where Nelson Algren famously said it's like loving woman with a broken nose. Maybe lovely loveliest, but never a lovely so real. And I think that idea that Nelson all grenade image of Chicago, the idea that we might not be good luck in the idea that you know, if you're in LA, you can spot an act of five hundred paces away like so not to come in at me. Same in New York, Chicago, not so much that you just they just act as here just sort of meld into the community. And that's what they wanna do. I honestly think this is no no nonsense. I honestly thing is a crucial part of this city. And I think that without this resist. The city would be infinitely poor. It's what there's no other city in the world that has something quite light. What we don't find instant Lewis. You don't find it in Milwaukee, not to say, there aren't the it as that. But the the. Spirit here is just something to. Would I hate using this term because it's the doubting from the tech committee? But we do have slightly a perfect ecosystem or Goodacre perfect. You have major universities that have major major our departments. Yes, theater writing staging that every year there's like a fresh inflow of immigrants and make Chicago home and make Chicago theater scene. Their home that keeps it fresh young energetic. Second as your example, you know, you got a theater company set up in a Chicago park district facility the cost of doing business here versus a New York or L A T's those zero San Francisco gives you a way that you can do a storefront and have public facilities or other neighborhood facilities that are at a point. And then you have a theater going community, including the philanthropic, but a theater going to me that while I can't say keeps everybody live. There's enough energy to support, you know, north two hundred theaters across the city, and then I think that. I describe it. If I don't like using system, you just taking something from the business world into the theater world, which I wouldn't do. But those elements make it strong and great the other thing that goes on a lot here is material that's destined for Broadway trying out here. So if you look at say, the last twelve months in Chicago, we've had three major pre Broadway tryouts, we, you know, shows like Pretty Woman Tootsie, the chace show, these this show is sort of workout that kinks in Chicago. They come here. I and I find you know, that the readers of the Tribune, for example, no oldest. They know. That's what these shows do and they buy that ticket. And what they like to do is they like to show up they buy that ticket, then they like to have an opinion. And they liked to Email me go on Email somebody else, and they like to say, oh, they got to fix this. And they got to fix that. So we have this sense here. And yet there are also supportive because I think generally speaking the audience in Chicago is generous most Chicagoans a not so into polish, you know, they tend to look for the. Depth. I mean, I just think I know it's romantic, but it is no it is something about town. Funny story. So it had a major elected official come in. And they happen to take a cab ride, and they were driving. And they said they asked the cabbie about a building in. The cabbie starts telling him about all the architect who designed says, what are the city you have a cabdriver telling and I think our city cab doors will tell you about the building type people will tell you about the theater, and they're not critic, and they have a depth to it because they're around it a lot even if they don't go, right? The on their proud of it. I mean that proud of the part of the creativity. And then on I think there's a lot of would've been done the last few years to about opening up the theater these other fields to a more diverse set of Chicago. And so, you know, thirty forty years ago. It was not only talk to a participating one hundred percent. I want to get to that. Let me I'm going to skip them. Then come back as a critic. Do you? Welcome the internet or do you find it to mow meaning that people can access you? Yeah. They can do. Yeah. I thought. Well, okay, come here. Give you a hug if you want brother. Do you think was your writing you go to see a play in? You're thinking about writing does the internet and the audience and the reading your readership, and to your mind is you're writing in a way that starts to edit it in a way that ten fifteen years ago worst case it was a letter to the editor. Right. Are you worried about that? You think it's been helpful not helpful the internet, and the intimacy between you now in your readership. Well, I would imagine is this a parallel with your job in the sense that you have to anytime you wanna trade? After walk a fine line between doing what you believe to be the best thing saying what you believe on also being aware of being responsive to the people that are reading you all the people that you writing about on if you worry too much about that. Then you end up with no opinion at all. You just sit there with your emptied screen and go you're terrified to ride anything. And I I try not to do that. But I think that the idea that you can be a critic who makes pronouncements from on high, and then disappears into the cave, which is kind of the way the job was done in Chicago. Maybe fifty years ago, you can't do any more because people want to have a conversation with you. And if you don't they think, you're a stuck up elitist, and but that's not what they want. So you have to be, you know, you have to be willing to have a conversation on the other hand, you also, you know, you have to be fair. And what I mean by that is that it is a business. These theaters are competitive, and it's a business. And you have to treat everyone with equal Fantis. And so, you know, that's the that's where sometimes it has to be limits. Those conversations because I don't want to necessarily if somebody the theater thinks I'm the biggest jerk. Biggest hot don't know what I'm talking about in many cases. And I have to go out and review the show that they are in at Robin. Not know that I'd rather they they're entitled to think it, God bless them. I'd just rather not know it. So it doesn't cloud my take take. And what do you think about how do you do that? With this whole issue of like how much return on my iphone? So I can't even turn on my TV. I don't read social media. I do have people that tell me what's on it. But I don't read it because I actually don't want to be that much cut off. Right. We're sitting here at my conference table where we have a lot of inter department, whatever meetings. If I sat here and told you that we didn't play out how something I'm about to decide or whatever that won't be honest. My general rule about politics is that you have to be idealistic enough. To know why you're doing what you're doing. But tough enough and ruthless enough to get it done. So you can't. Be so intimidated that you don't do what you really find is right on the other hand you have to be aware. How what you're gonna do is going to be interpreted, and how different people are going to have different takes on it. So it shouldn't ever scare you off. I'm about I have made the decision yet. We're thinking about some policy thing that is going to be controversial can't say I've already put my thumb on the scale. We're going to do it. But if I had a bet we are, right. But I know ahead of time. It's going to be controversial. But doesn't stop you from noon. Nope. Not this one. I think when it comes to hall. Hall you? But I am gained playing it. Meaning what are the critics going to say how much problems is gonna be? I'm gaming it out for that, very reason. I think sometimes was hard to his critic, or is it in the is it you sort of you go. Well, okay. Like tonight. You know, it's fifty below zero. I'm going out to a show that still on tonight this opening tonight. Right. I'm you know, you're leaving your family. You're going down that you're doing your best to show. And then someone turns around on social media and says, you know, what a joke, you know, what did you? So I mean, that's how this the personal toll. Right. You know, you have it yet. No. Oh, yeah. You have to have a inner soul that what you have to think that the goal you're trying to get across is worth the enough to take that constant criticism at you have you ever been to the Lincoln museum down. Okay. You know that scene where you walk in Lincoln. And there's pictures of people yelling at him coming at them. Right. I think that's the one of the best things I've ever seen it, but presidential library one of the best because because that is everybody else's on this white. Theodore Roosevelt made the joke about the critic not the joke, but the state and the famous statement, I enjoy is no matter what you do is going to be. There's no one hundred percent here. There's fifty one forty nine all the time in that room captures would those of us that live in public life? And I would say the critic, and you Chris do is, you know, Lincoln's getting called gorilla an idiot a fool cave. He doesn't you know, he's not for abolition. Now, he's revolution. It's so he gets accused of being all for the war for free freedom of them black people, but African Americans that. He made fun of his a guerrilla. He's being seen as not being to do as ideals. I just finished this Frederick Elvis biography that he wasn't making the war about slavery. When he does make it about slavery. Here's witty and it's everything's yell. You're constantly in this echo chamber of screen from whatever side, and I think that room captures what happens in that chair. What happens at that screen? And you just gotta be true enough to yourself that it's worth what you're doing. I mean, can you do this for a lifetime? And I guess the other question why they have answer that. You get a second question. This is the job of a lifetime. It's not a job for lifetime. So so here's my thing. Is that I read I say that is was Kogyo served here. We are talking about the Chicago theater, the Chicago theater, scene, etc. What Chicago served when the theater community spoke up against Hetty Weiss at your know. I would say your counterpart your at a competitive paper. She's a critic too. And this is a critical moment. I think in the country. I was let me say this in the city, we need theater. Could we we need to cultural community that holds up a mirror and yet when somebody held up a mirror people? Right. So the theater can be wants to represent. I think properly the art community to get people who are been on the sidelines into the narrative discussion, except for the example of Hetty is only few grew us. Well, I I know you've written up out of the. Pitch publicly supported had a in the sense that she had the right to express that opinion on on. And I didn't think that that opinion was any was out of line with what I was thinking you took a different opinion of play itself. I had a different opinion your plan, but I respected her right to have a different opinion. And I I agree that ultimately this country needs to have conversation, and the theater is a place of conversation when bringing this back to that theme of generosity, the theater, the will teaches is theater is is only successful when he operates on the heart. And he's very very good at changing people's hearts about things. That's one of his great like all art. It's that's really where it operates on on those levels at doesn't mean, it can't discuss policy or equality or political ideas. Indeed, it should. But it also has to remember that it has to operate on people's hearts, and I think ultimately, it always has to be on the side of tolerance. And it has to be on the side of many points of view, and it has to meet people where they are not everyone is in the same place in Chicago or in America for that matter. And I think that the moment you start saying, well, we only one opinions that we agree with is a slippery slope. And so a I did not think that was the great I understood what was going on. I mean, I I it's not to say that I didn't understand, and there were many people I like and respect to have the opposite view, and who articulated that view, I thought in some circumstances. Very very well. And I think he goes to the debate among progressives or liberals at this moment about whether this is a moment for conversation, or whether it's a moment for resistance. And I think if you look beyond the theater among progressives that indeed in the mayoral campaign for that matter. I think that's the day. They know is this a time for conversation with everybody or do we say, you know, no, we can't have this conversation. Well, I think there's a good point because I this somewhat. Kids at depaul this, and I think it's worth wooded. You said no, well, here's a key was not about theater, but it was about the debate. I gotta ask a question. And I actually thought this was the theater for America at this moment. I thought it went too quickly because events when the kids on the mall from comington Duckie with a mega Hatsaw. Yeah. But also confronting an American Indian knowing you got a little more time in so all the perspective. But people basically all different Covington Kentucky and made a lot of assumptions in the truth is, and I said to the kids at depaul if the school was from Manhattan, would we have concluded what we concluded? We give it more time. Right. And the truth is lose a lot of profiling going on by a lot of people who hate profiling. Right. But you know, we reflective enough and self aware enough to do that. And I thought that the scene if you think about theater, and you think about moments that were American can come reflect on his health that went too quickly because I actually think we needed that moment. Collectively as a country. Why I think? It's an interesting things about that moment. One was you know, what was the beginning of the moment. So there was debate about, you know, not video I came out. Everyone was assuming that's the start of the moment. When in fact, it would later it was revealed that the actual moment began much sooner than that. I the play started earlier, you might say just so I thought that's right. I thought that was very sort of very telling you know, and also is a member of the media. You know, that wasn't the finest weekend for the media because I think in many ways, you know, the old way was until you have the full story, and you'd fully reported a major meteorology wouldn't go with the story that you'd be like, well, we don't know if this is the beginning of the Tate. We don't know who that guy is we don't know anyone is we need to way. But what's happened? You know, is that the pace of everything is sped up. You know, my bosses know, how many people click on everything I write that's pressure to get readers. And that's not unreasonable in the sense that these are all businesses, but there are moments in America when you go when people when when it just gets out of control on that was to me one of those moments. No, I just I think that we needed to actually use this moment more than we got to talk. And I do think had they not come from Covington Kentucky, they would have gotten a break if they had come from LA, they come from a different city. We would assume d- different things about their background we imposed and transferred to them a set of of what we thought their background was because of the school type of faith where it was located, etc. And it turned out not right? Well, you know, and there's a question about is is their background, their, you know, the kids on his the background their responsibility. And you know, if you were I are grown up in commenting Kentucky with those parents and gone to those schools would we have been standing there know doing this. We like to think, maybe would you know? I I didn't think it was those kids finest hour at all like, I think there's enough evidence in that tape that says those kids, you know, if that was my kid, I kid about that age that would have been like that's not you can't do that. Right that smirk. You can't do that. You got to you. Come on. So I I'm not absolving them of all blame. But everything's complex in the world. Everything's complex and we've gotten to the point now where we just reducing everything. And that's the one of the dilemmas. Let me issue on the book. Yeah. Other plays that didn't make it in here that if you head if they gave you fifty more pages, your editor, the publisher, there's certain Elsie said, you know, I wish if I had more time this is what I would have included or here are the three key milestones. This narrative that takes over this Arca time. Well, that's an interesting question. I mean, there was a lot of other big productions and big musicals on Broadway. You know in in that period. Lotta great revivals by people like ought the Mila a lot of musicals like wicked that didn't make it in that. But I wanted to leave space also for a couple of the Chicago things and the one the one Chicago thing that I think people never fully got. That was really remarkable. It was a show here called metamorphosis, which is done here at looking less than and he played for years. What's now? Binny's beverage depot on the north side. It was the old Ivanhoe theater. And it's just a it's a show about changing shape, and how when we die. We don't really die. We just changed shape and that show was in rehearsal right after nine eleven in New York City, and it was the first show relate to sort of ope. It was really going on all those theaters shut down. You know, one of the things I wrote about in the book was how in New York. And this is really is. We're saying, you know, September the eleventh was a Tuesday and by September thirteenth, although state were up and running within Ford, and you think about what was going on in New York all the difficult is people had and they were determined. They know the city government was, you know, I think th the leaders in your figured out that the only way to get people, you know, thinking straight again was to at least let them be able to go to the theater all these people stuck in the city, and it was a show from Chicago, metamorphosis, which really articulated how people fell after nine eleven because it was about loss, you know, and. I just remember opening there. And I remember seeing people crying in the theater because it was like they the theatre had help them release all this cathodic. That's exactly it. And I think that was an example of how in Chicago when we've really focused on sort of the heart and the core of what we do and kept our eye on that it's often we've taught other cities how to do this. You had a journalist Becker. You had any background in academic journals? Yeah. Who helped you train your voice from academe Lia to critic or do you think they're the same? Well, I think two people one was Frank rich. Who is a critic I most of Maya because he always was about making connections from the theater to the rest of the will. He always said, you know, he always said, look, don't let don't let them marginalize. You don't let them just think that you're what you're doing insubstantial, not always speaking to society to theater. Yes. The it's just all I do every night is is discussed issues that same issues you deal with during the day. That just happened to be in a play. You know, they're all about the all the same things. It's no different. And that's what you want to write about. And that's what that's what's interesting for people. You you go crazy. If you just say this act is good. This actress bad the half disconnect. You know, you know, I mean like I was Saturday night. I was at a play down at court theater about it was about about the DNA. You know, that was a show on that topic allowed me to write about the search for DNA should fascinating. And so I think so I think Frank rich. And then also Chicago had a great credit. Call Richard Christensen still alive. Right. I live on the north side. What he did is he went into every little basement. So if you look at the Tribune in the forties in the fifties. This is the no this is not a flattering thing to say about my employer. But it's true that in the forties and fifties I have some things it's not about your employer. Now, we're going to the third part of my says podcast, but in the forties and fifties there with it is on the south side. The Tribune never never went. You can blind. You there were companies that existed for decades, and you can't find a review in the archives? Just come find. I think Richard Christensen in the sort of beginning in sort of a seventies began to say, look, you gotta you gotta be willing to go into the neighborhoods. You gotta company city going into the neighborhoods and. Going into the city itself getting away from the loop not forgetting the loop. But also going to neighborhoods. He said about this idea that here in Chicago, you can be in a little store from in a neighborhood and somebody'll pay attention. If it's good if it's good, and that's my create I guess, and that I think is that unique to here. Don't find that New York City limits you mentioned earlier up tone. Yes, entertainment is reunited talked about. This a lot. We had you know, Hera Washington's cultural plan was the blueprint for the downtown theater scene. You have that somewhat in Lincoln park. Yes. But really indigenously happening in uptown duty other communities in Chicago that are creating that much critical mass from music to theater to restaurant the whole kind of cultural really want to say package, but you see that happening anywhere else. Not that up towns already happening unite. That's a whole 'nother show to talk about. Yeah. I think uptown the development of uptown has been one of the most exciting things the last couple of years, partly because. They there's a historic inventory of venues. And that's what other neighborhoods. Don't really have. There's nowhere else. Other than the loop way. You have quite that preponderance. Art, deco theaters within one hundred feet of exactly. And so that that sort of interesting, and I think the debate about uptown is interesting because the debate twenty years ago, and I started writing about it was that everyone said no one's going to go to town. No one's going to go to town from the suburbs. No one's going to go. Is you know, it's too difficult for people too far from downtown. And I think what you've seen now in the sort of renaissance of the city is that that argument. No one really makes any more they sort of go. Well, you know, this idea. I mean, you saw in the efforts in Lincoln yachts to build another. You know, the this idea, and I think developers have sort of figured out, and this is good and bad, but mostly good. I think they figured out the if you want to sell you condo. It's not about thing to have a theater underneath it. Because at that point, you say to people, look, you can have a city life. You want to partake of culture you want to enjoy all the city. This is why you're not living in the suburbs. You living in the city of Chicago. And I think that thinking you didn't see a decade ago. No. I got that at all a decade ago. Not at all, right. Been there's still some that. Don't don't know. I've used this before. And this will be another discussion that the role culture can play theater culture music when you look at like the old town school of folk music on Lincoln avenue up in the Lincoln square and ravens would community what that did to that community. That knew no other investment could have not a train stage could make that transition in flip the switch, and I think you're gonna see that in your Albany park around the theater there. You're seeing it in critical mass enough, Tom. Yeah. And that is what developers are now realizing the whole kind of feel of the city or the neighborhood, the culture brings something that. No. But nothing else can bring executive. So here's a lightning round. You ready for must know this ready from listening right thicker, thin pizza. Then. Sorry. It's okay. There's an even white source of cash short the end of the show. We don't feel you off the show. Okay. Cubs. Your socks? Oh, totally cubs. I live about it. I can I can't hear the cubs from my from my garage. Like I live right by Wrigley field. Sears or handcock Hancock. I think I. Yeah. Hancock. I think for the most part that's a tough one that one. Why is that? Well, maybe, you know, I don't know. I I have a lot of nostalgia for the ceus tend to find myself up. Hind got more, okay. Near the lake. I like being near the lake. Okay. Well, that leads to the next one Laker river. Well, you know, you're a river guy. Right. I mean you've. Last two questions around your Jones. We don't again, you only got one more question. So throw you out. I know you can you can go ahead and say what you want to say, I'll say this. I was at one of those river walk places. I guess it was city winery. And these boats are coming by. And and I'm thinking this is the river. I I was thinking it feels either like, and so you know, I've always been a late guy. But you know, I'm willing to give the river. Another look. Okay. We'll we'll take you down. Make and see it again. You're exactly what I'm trying to twelve inch or sixteen inch softball. Well. You know, my British heritage. Is there a different ball size for cricket? Have Chris theater critic and social critic at the Chicago Tribune. Thank you. Thanks for being here. Thank you. You've been listening to Chicago stories with mayor Rahm Emanuel. You can subscribe and leave a review on apple podcasts and tweet your guest ideas, using hashtag shy stories. Thanks for listening.
Aired 5 months ago 27:20
Redbull vs Monster - Beast Gores Bull | 2
It's late nineteen ninety six and fair-haired marketing visionary. Mark hall is lost lost on a desolate palm tree lined street in the southern Californian city of corona. Hall pulls over in checks his map. He's on the right St. but where's the building? All he sees or windowless white LEGO brick offices. No signs. No people anywhere. Not a good omen. He starts his rental car again and cruises street. Eventually he finds what he thinks is the right building. He heads through a set of reflective Brown glass doors, a receptionist sits behind a desk, byline or nails hall walks over is this Hanson beverages. Yes. You must be Mr. hall, Mr. sax's waiting for you. Rodney sacks is the CEO of Hanson beverages and he desperately needs halls. Help hall is fresh from helping Arizona ice tea blow away the competition with its eye-catching large. Pastel can sacks abode South Africa once hall to work the same marketing magic on his ailing diet soda and fruit juice company. He's been trying to get hall out to corona for weeks, but halls got bad news for sex, the receptionist leads hall to a meeting room as plain as the building's exterior inside is a man in a suit with greying hair. He stands up and greets hall warmly. Hello, mark. Very good to meet you at last. I'm Rodney sax every considered our job offer. I have. But but I'm still not convinced sacks looks crestfallen. He needs hall Hanson's a minor league soda maker with a wholesome image. And it's been having a hard. Time. None of its drinks are doing consumers two years ago. It narrowly avoided bankruptcy sacks needs someone with spark envision who can get Hansen out of its rut. Okay. What's putting you off? No offense. But I can't work with what you've got your brands. They're kind of blah. I can't do anything with them out sacks fields hurt. But he brushes it off. He bought this generation's old family company for years ago, and he won't admit defeat. Not yet may be giving hall free reign is the answer. How about how about we give you your own team? And you just do new products. That might work sex feels and adrenaline rush. He's nearly closed the deal he decides to clinch it with a big incentive. I'll also give you stock options for one hundred and fifty thousand shares hall does the math in his head with that many shares all he needs to do is get Hanson stock up from about two cents a share to five dollars a share and he'll be made for life. Okay. Now, man. Sex smiles good, any thoughts on what kind of product you might start with. Yeah. You're red Ramboll. It's massive in Europe. It's sold as an energy booster. I think a similar drink would do well in the US too. But we gotta move fast. I've heard red bulls about to expand into the US. But if we get in quick, I think we can steal the market from hall in sachse dreaming big they're now thinking they can stop red bull in its tracks. But their first attempt to top the energy drink business is going to fail badly. Business wars is brought to you by pay pal? Once an attorney in New York City, Linda transformed her resale hobby into a thriving luxury consignment company called Linda's stuff. What was once a passion project that started by selling her kids? Video games is now a one hundred person company in ninety three thousand square foot facility wholly focused on designer fashion as a company specializing in high end, previously owned goods, reputation is everything integrity and trust. Or a critical part of how the company operates from day. One Linda has counted on pay pal every step of the way to help. Give her customers confidence and protect her business from fraud, even when selling internationally when it comes to growing your business. Pay pal is your payments partner for today and tomorrow, visit pay pal dot com slash growth to set up a free business account. Tha. Day. That's pay pal dot com slash growth to sign up for free today. From wondering, I'm David Brown. And this is business. You're listening to episode two in our series red bull versus monster energy beast Gore's bull. In the last episode, Austrian marketing whiz, Dietrich matter xix turned a Thai energy drink into red bull in concord Europe. Now, he's bringing red bull to America. He's armed with millions of dollars and a battle tested guerrilla marketing strategy, but matter Schick is about to run up against a formidable foe. It's late nineteen Ninety-seven in Los Angeles a salesman for the US red bull team places a silver and blue can in front of a buyer for a grocery store chain the buyer stares at it, the salesman leans forward. Go on try it the buyer grabs the can and pulls the tab. He raises the drink to his lips and sips. He gives the salesman of puzzled glance and takes other swig. It's better on the second taste wasn't sure at first, but it's not so bad. Not great either though, maybe but your stores will make more money from this coat, Pepsi and seven up combined. That's that's a bold claim. How do you figure that you've only just launched in the US? It'll be as big here's in Europe. And what's more? It sells it two dollars. A can what to da? Dollars for that skinny? Can you kidding? No, no. I'm not and people will pay for the massive energy boost red bull delivered the buyer. Can't figure out this guy is your confident. Or is he arrogant is he bluffing? Can this weird? Drink really, sell that will. All right. We'll try it. Give me a couple of free cases. And we'll see how it sells. No. We don't do free cases you have to buy them. And before you ask we're not going to pay you to put it into your stores, either the buyer can't believe what he's hearing. And he's heard enough luck here, buddy. I don't know how things work in Europe. But in this market, we get some free cases. And if it sells well we start stocking. You need us. We don't need you. I'm the one holding all the cards the salesman shrugs. You're not ready for red bull. That's okay. Some stores prefer to play it safe. Get that come back. Another time. You're leaving. No big deal. When the time is right. You'll by the salesman stands up shakes. The shocked buyers hand and heads for the door the buyer feels like he's about to miss out on something something that could be big. Wait. Okay. I'll buy a couple of cases. Red bulls only just arrived in America. But it sales strategy is leaving US store. Buyers stunned no one is heard of red bull and yet it salesman act. Like buyers are losers if they don't get that. It's the hottest drink around for the moment. Red bull isn't worrying about winning over grocery stores, instead the company's targeting America's most fashionable bars and nightclubs red bull wants to replicate its European strategy. Make it self fixture on the party scene and build a reputation as a cool mysterious underground drink officially red bull presents itself to bars as a standalone drink, but everyone knows the real story from the hottest New York clubs to the most happening bars. In LA red bull is seen as the ideal mixer with alcohol if you wanna party late into the night, it's an energizer so good that hip consumers will pay eighteen dollars for a vodka red bull. Soon. Red bull sweeping America's big cities wild claim circulate about it's invigorating ingredients some claim it's made with the semen of bulls. Others reckon it contains amphetamines, but rather than address the rumors red bull Stokes. As matter. Schick tells his US team our biggest threat is a lack of interest mystery. And a hint of danger are important these rumors make red bull more interesting, but red bowls not the only energy drink fighting for America's attention in April. Nineteen ninety seven four months after recruiting Mark hall Hanson, launches its answer to red bull. The company calls its competitor, drink Hansen's energy. It's not a drink that will win prizes for innovation. Just like red bull. Hansen's energy comes in eight ounce cans and pushes its caffeine, taurine content aided. By Hanson's, existing relationships with retailers Hansen's energy rapidly tops, America's embryonic energy, drink market. But it's rain barely last year. As red bull expands its US distribution and steps up its marketing Hanson's energies market share crumbles by two thousand one red bull's grab two thirds of the energy drink market with its nightclub strategy, and is now moving into stores in a big way and Hansen's energy. Well, it's fading fast. It's not only losing ground red bull. But also to a rush of new energy drinks. And among these new challenges is a brash tonic from Las Vegas. It's summer two thousand one and the limousine is prowling the streets of San Francisco heads turn as the limo heads down market street blasting Rockies, but estrin stop and stare the size of the limo or painted with an unfamiliar logo the word rockstar in big yellow capital letters with Starr, replacing the suddenly a man with shock of gel, carrot red hair bursts from the limos sunroof he strikes crucifix. Pose while holding two large cans of star in his hands and starts yelling startled, San Franciscans hard like a rockstar, drink rockstar energy, double the straight double the size that red headed thirty. Something is Russell wider the son of conservative talk show host Michael Savage weiner's the founder of rockstar. He's only just launched his drink. But he's thinking big literally. Instead of the eight ounce cans used by other energy drinks weiner's energy booster is sold in black sixteen ounce cans emblazoned with a yellow star and for the same two dollar price tag. As red bull. Spend the same get twice the energy weiner's double for your money ploy works rockstar start selling fast within a year. Winer sales. Nearly three million dollars worth of rockstar by two thousand four Rockstars grabbed seven percent of the energy drink market making it America's number two energy drink but red bull still way out in front. It's got fifty nine percent of what's becoming a fast growing five billion dollar year market. For Hanson Rockstars arrival on the energy drink scene is the killer blow with sales of Hanson's energy and freefall hall calls Hanson chief Rodney sacks into a crisis meeting at the company's headquarters in corona. Hall goes straight to the heart of the problem. Broadening Hansen's energy is hemorrhaging market share. The problem is the Hanson brand. It's it's just too wholesome. People associate Hansen with natural sodas smoothies juices that doesn't work for energy drinks. We need our energy drink to break away from the Hanson brand Sachs is horrified. No way. Absolutely, no way. I'm building a wider beverage brand here. And that brand is Hanson. I'm not just throwing that away. Because one product struggling with getting killed out there. I look at the age of red bull look at rockstar. Our brand is so out of step with them, and the people who drink energy drinks, we need a brand that says action, adrenaline and fire energy drinks. Her punk rock. Not the frigate eagles, the two men glare. At each other sacks is. Whetted to his strategy of applying the Hanson brand every beverages company makes but hall's not backing down. You hired me for my marketing expertise, and I'm telling you that unless we create a new brand for our energy drink with finished in that market. Just let me do my job don't time. I hand. Sack says nothing for a moment. He hates the idea of dropping the Hanson brand but halls logic rings true. Fine. But let me be very clear, I hate this idea. But yes, I did hire you for your expertise. So what do you have in mind? A new attitude a more aggressive and rebellious brand and energy drink for party hard, blue collar guys with tattoos red bills for Yepes and snooty New Yorkers. I want our energy drink to be sold in big sixteen ounce cans like rockstar and be grungy and all American he got a name. I got a few ideas hammerhead fatboy, deuce. The one I'm leaning towards his monster. I have come to care a lot about the furniture in my home. I really believe it's more than just a place to sit or restaurant on. This is the stuff that life happens around, and I've really fallen in love with the look the quality the value of the furniture. I've gone from article article is an online only furniture company, they keep prices low and quality high by getting rid of the layers of traditional retail, no show rooms, no sales, people just savings and great furniture. 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P S dot com slash b w one more time. That's a free month of treatment keeps dot com slash Beato. View keeps hair today hair tomorrow. It's Tober two thousand two and hundreds of people are heading into the Las Vegas convention center. They're here for the national association of convenience stores show. Among them is a store owner from Denver as he enters the building. He spots a friend. He hasn't seen for years. Hey, tom. It's it's been years. You still in Memphis Ray. Yeah. I'm still in Memphis. You hadn't do the exhibition floor. Sure, I'll walk with you. The pair head toward the exhibition hall. They're expecting the usual brands and stay boots. But as they enter the hall of blast of Jimi Hendrix's voodoo child grabs their attention turned to see where the music's coming from. And their jaws dropped. Before them is a huge booth decked out and sinister black and beyond green. Too tall. Speakers are pumping out Hendrix's guitar shredding. The booth is full of young models gyrating to the music in black leather bras, many skirts over the new boots. What the hell the gobsmack pair stare at the boots giant logo a huge green. M it looks like it's been torn into the black wall by the clause of an enormous beast underneath the logo. Are the words monster energy? Monster energy never heard of it. One of the leather clad women shimmy towards them. She's clutching too. Big black chilled sixteen ounce cans, and monster you guys need a boost then you'll need these who are you people monster energy that new energy drink from Hansen. The store owners can't believe it Hanson. The guys who make those Nicey nice sodas. Yeah. Monsters one heck of a curve ball for Hanson. It's new drink is far from sunny. It's mean, and it's moody hybrid caffeinated blend of taurine B, vitamins ginseng, and the amino acid L carnitine. The big splash in Vegas is only the beginning for monster marketing chief Marc hall in the months that follow hall's team hits the road. They're on a mission to win over stores. One by one for months, they tour the sunbelt racking up the miles as they build monsters presence coast to coast and help them with their mission hall rage. The red bull playboy. It's summer two thousand three and the ESPN sponsored X game. The annual extreme sports competition is underway in Los Angeles. Halls here too. And he's come prepared. He's packing twenty five thousand dollars in cash, and he's gonna use it to get X games athletes backing monster we're down to our final runs. He had to the locker rooms and flashes. His cash at wide eyed skateboarders BMX bikers and freestyle motocross riders within hours, the X games are full of competitors wearing monster branded helmets tops. It's the start of an action sports arms race between energy drink makers hall pumps, millions of dollars into sponsoring the extreme sports elite and with each new daredevil. He signs awareness of monster groves within a few years monster spending fifteen million dollars a year on its roster of action sports stars. But next to the hundreds of millions read both spending. It's peanuts. The Austrian energy drink giants already got five hundred athletes on its books, and now rebels about to take the battle to anew level. In November two thousand four red bull buys the Jaguar racing Formula one team and renames it red bull racing. The following year. Red bull snaps up an Austrian soccer club and rebranded. Red bull. Salzburg in two thousand six red bull bison NASCAR team and also reboots Major League Soccer squad MetroStars as the New York red bulls. Keeping this portfolio of sports teams is gonna cost the company hundreds of millions. But it's worth it. Each. One puts the red bull brand in front of millions of people each day. But it's not enough. No matter how much red bull spins. It just can't seem to stop monsters advance with its rebel image and super size can monsters winning over legions of Americans by two thousand five monsters replaced Rockstars the number two energy. Drink, and it's closing in on red bull. And that's when Anheuser Busch comes calling Anheuser Busch is the brewery giant behind Budweiser. And it's got its I on monster in early two thousand six senior executive from Anheuser Busch heads to corona to strike a deal with Hansen CEO, Rodney sex, we wanna get more non alcoholic drinks into our distribution network where impressed by monster. And we wanted distribute it we're doing just fine. Thanks. Why would we do this? Well, we've noticed that you're selling monster directly to stores, that's very labor intensive and it limits. How fast you can grow? Our network can get you into more stores bars and clubs much faster than you can't alone. Also, we're global for we can help you take monster beyond the US. Now, that's an appealing offer. It's a chance to make monster grow. Even faster and sacks knows it. In may two thousand six Hanson and Anheuser Busch strike a distribution deal. Turning up the heat on red bull? The alliance also gives Hanson stock another boost thanks to monster Hanson, share prices jumped more than a thousand percent in just a few years Hansen's now one of the hottest stocks of the two thousands right up there with the likes of apple Amazon and Google and monsters not done yet. As two thousand seven begins Hanson starts, releasing more and more. Monster branded drinks it launches new flavors bigger cans, and even a monster branded chilled coffee to take on. Starbucks Frappuccino, all of which helped monster claw away, even more market share from red bull. In November two thousand eight monster inches ahead of red bull to become America's leading energy drink. It's grim. News for red bull. Boss matter xix for years. He's refused to expand the red bull range beyond the original formula and its companion sugar free version now matter Schick knows he can no longer sit back. It's time for a refresh. It's time for red bull to slay the monster. In the next and final episode. Red bull heads to extremes of the earth. A former Hindu monk delivers a small but powerful punch to the energy, drink kings, and monster is accused of having blood on its hands. From wondering this is business wars. We hope you enjoyed this episode, and we hope to subscribe on apple podcasts. Spotify Google podcasts. Stitcher. Iheartradio or wherever you listen to podcasts. There's a link on the episode notes. All you have to do is tap or swipe over the cover art. And you'll also see some offers from our sponsors. We hope you can support our show by supporting them. If you like what you've heard we'd love it. If you could give us a five star rating in while you're at it. Tell your friends how to subscribe another way you can support us is to answer a short survey at one dot com slash survey. And don't forget to tell us what business war stories you'd like to hear just a quick note about the conversations you've been hearing. We can't know exactly what was said. But this dialogue is based on our best research. I'm your host David Brown. Tristen? Donovan wrote this story edited by Emily frost. Karen, low is our senior producer editor Jenny lower is our producer sound designed by bay area. Our executive producer is Marshall. Louis rated by or non Lopez four wondering.