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S4-08 Barbara Johnson and Roger Colberg Short Stories and Memoir
"Support for Charlotte Readers podcast is provided by Park Road books the oldest and only independent Bookstore in Charlotte conveniently located in Park Road. Welcome to Charlotte has podcast we're authors give voice to the written words this is the show where Meat Charlotte area authors those visit the Queen City and we hear them read their work I'll put up with the dog to hunt here I prefer these Yummy morsels over what I could catch in the creek the man also feeds other animals I've seen him put out seeds and Gustav for the cardinals and he started sprinkling corn around the edges of his garden Tom and see 'em library dot org or drop by the bookstore or any library branch presence for more information about these book minded sponsors who help authors give voice to their written words please visit them online at Park Road Books Dot Com enough with the prologue let's get to the stories I'm your host Landis Way thank you for listening at the pond some have bronze copper or yellowish gold patches those colors make them easy to see just below the surface of the muddy water eggs waiting patiently the dog used to chase me away several times a day when he was younger he's slowed down since his black muzzle started turning gray look dog lover who's laid back style encourages authors to read and talk about their published and emerging works these are the stories that touched the emotions. Hey I hunt at the pond early in the mornings before he wakes up I'd hunt elsewhere to avoid the hassle but the silver-haired Dan went to a lot of trouble to build this pond for me he stocked it with tasty fish they're mostly cream coloured with orange and black spots which warned most needs help host Landis Wade is committed to making this podcast worth your time he's recovering trial lawyer award-winning author now the weather is cooler the dog stays in his little house on the porch late into the morning in another month or two I lurk along the bank in the shade under the ham locks my dusty Pale feathers make me hard to see in the shadows I stand motionless on my longer good the dog doesn't see me he's going away I don't think his vision is as good as it once was he used to catch and eat the groundhogs around here no I'm not so sure Mrs Johnson sound angry and disappointed the deer into the driveway in front of the garage. I won't tell you what he did to the deer next I always thought the dog was dangerous one here comes the damn lanky mountain dog again if he gets to the DOC I'll have to fly across the pond and sit for a while on a limb of the Locust Tree Mitch wonderfully detailed account of the paint joy of innocent belief Roger Barberie to other pieces on the show with Roger Reading from his award-winning piece the lucky one dear are grazing near what's left of the of the man's garden I'm about to Spear Breakfast when a loud crack scares all the fish to the bottom it's an expert from our award winning piece five lives but a young Barbara whose father wouldn't buy her the shoe she needed for school contest judge Michael Chitwood call it a in today's episode we made to Award Winning Writers of Charlotte Riders Club Writing Contents Barba Johnson for non-fiction world costume do you even have black shoes I looked up at her and lied my dad is getting me new shoes today holes in the dirt wall said hold back the water but I haven't seen him do that lately come to think of it I haven't seen any groundhog's around for awhile just in case you are real I need new blood shoes in the morning before I go to school a man for the last time story of two men hauge France meeting again with one intending to help the other Brenna subtle but profound way the right approach each man's demons leaving the reader to the side co working right here in the bill community near Uptown Charlotte you can find links and information about this episode in the show notes at our website Charlotte Reader podcast dot Com uh the pond water will be solid and I'll have to leave for a while is cold this morning and I'm hunting in my usual spot several errors and started to pray dear God I don't believe in you anymore. I don't believe that Moses Parts Roger Colbert for short stories restored Roger Reading as award-winning piece entitled at the Pond where the main characters of the animals Barbara's first reading is from memoir we're in a fiery furnace if you came make my daddy get me a pair of new shoes how could you do all of that other stuff apollo by conversations that offer death an insight into the readings and writing lives of the authors the shows recorded in the well-equipped podcast video at avenues I look up the hill to see deer tumbling down the slope toward the House the man comes out later with a big knife and drags very large bundle on our front porch and drove off a random stairs to see what it was and heard Mama and daddy token Roger Coburg began writing short stories nine years ago which was a bit of the road less traveled by for the man who obtained his college degree in Economics Mathematics Albion College Michigan just as I was preparing to go to bed I saw colleagues pull into our driveway a slender Caucasian man Ronald White folks ain't got no business throwing stuff at us you better go see what is it might be trouble shirl- Reuters club in the North Carolina Charlotte Readers podcast is a member of the twin city podcast network powered by Ortho Carolina the Red Sea or that Lazarus was raised from the dead and I don't believe that shadrack me shake and been a goal the Home Omeday I get sucked from the kitchen stove pie and data old scuffed up white and black Oxford's then I want first time Barbara she said come here Chow you look so beautiful in your new shoes gail I got mean ten children eight and eight of them need shoes I came back shoes for any of y'all don't ask me again just welcome thank you so you both loved to write Raji write short stories and Barbara you write your life stories Did you expect him to eat SAPA with us she what do you think Mama snap data dump the contents onto the floor exerciser and I walk mornings stories started popping in my head in on my walks and my story yeah I got home I ran to dead until him that I wouldn't ask for anything for Christmas if he will get me new black shoes for May Day I was hooked so Barbara Roger gets his ideas walking where do your ideas come to you well I've always wanted to and on top of the pile of clothing while a pair of black shoes Friday the next day Mrs Johnson saw me in my costume for Imbaba reading to other stories from and prior entitled desire to kill and the Shotgun Contest Judge Robert and called the lucky one a mesmerizing vividly where she was one of ten children family moved around five different forest by the time she was sixteen despite a number of obstacles for father among them she and notice her leather strap draped over her broad shoulders she heaved and exhale then asks once and for all Barbara do you have your full after a rewarding career and telecommunications they tend T- Barbie devotes much more time to writing including her work on a memoir for challenging life she's given voice to riding venues something that I cannot not do I'm at my happiest when I'm writing in my thoughts come on paper now you're both inside the hallway it was probably Mr Briggs up Yana giving us his children old clothes dead looked up at Moma in green tea easily about the process of getting critiques from others in critiquing others works that helps you with your writing Roger Oh I get I get the best the feedback from a writers it's hard to hard to put it in a in one category but they come at it from all different points of view and such as the Matthews playhouse Queens University in the Warehouse Performing Arts Center Cornelius Barbara currently resides in Charlotte husband George Davis where she is a member Ah for more information go to Queen City podcast network DOT COM Roger Welcome to the show thank you honored to be here. Kim's once I get over the the initial visceral reaction to their to the harshness of their feedback then I start to analyze eh there you go again you won't mean to look for trouble when I want to look at King Kong Daddy said as he dragged the bond why do you love writing Roger Oh I don't know Atlanta side after I retired evid one thing when someone's giving your critique it helps you to improve your writing and you want to write so that the reader can understand Roger Resides in Charlotte where he writes and participates in Civil Charlotte Writers Group Critique Groups Barbara Johnson grew up in sharecropper family and Leesburg and Blanche North Carolina so I went to best buy and bought a new computer with word processing and a printer and got a table and chair and put it in front of a great window and Roger learned right software went on to create the Charlotte software developed center diplomat in major systems nationwide he admits he never did any creative writing while we're for the all right get deeper into the story and figure out why they reacted the way they did what about you barbara why do you go to workshops what do you work on your craft well writes about fourteen years of age and I used to write little short stories and I will hide them under my bed and my mom would find a lot of tax law textbooks offering text books computer manuals net now you want to write things that people actually you're interested in reading exactly and Backgrounds and every bit of feedback is is precious my harshest critics I've learned are are Dan why in what you write in and they can feel the emotions that you felt during that particular time I have gotten my my so the two of you come to your writing from different backgrounds Rogers said the opening you grew up in Michigan you said you've told me before and you had a normal myself was well I don't really have a good ending for this for these stories and then one day a really good ending popped in my head and called my bluff of the Charlotte Riders Club you've won contest there you got an awards and with your writing you're continuing to work on your craft I know this because Roger you participate rhys he says he enjoyed reading excellent fiction in the form of the tax returns and landed on his desk submissions filled with real life characters strange plot twists came in and read them and one day I caught her and she will so interested and from day one I just love to write is inmates first of siblings to finish high school and the only one to attend college graduating in nineteen seventy seven from Bennett College in Greensboro North Carolina with a degree in sociology it was it was really difficult most of the time we could not go to school often because we were kept out what was it sort of your internal strength to help you get out of you know what was very difficult circumstances the best feedback from different critique groups and also Take a writing class here in Charlotte as well and so I felt like if I improve my standard of living than I could encourage my other younger siblings to improve their standard over air down guilt or Syversen and you're you're guilty was on the podcast and season two and the class the to your father than school right correct so tell us a little bit about your growing up and what that was like and Barbara you grew up as we said in the opening sharecropper family we're work on the farm was seen really is more important and followed it with a thirty four year career with the Internal Revenue Service Rogers always taught himself to write because the ninety-three when computers were introduced irs field offices ah so generous in giving feedback and tear it helps you to improve your writing it helps you to think to make it more clear and concise into sixties that opportunities would be afforded us if we were educated and so I wanted to be among the group oh I like that you're gonna read later in the show here that really speaks to that education piece but I just curious is to get the education you need well I was determined not to live in poverty will determine in one at town we were hungry a lot until the garden will come in we lived often land schoolwork was wasn't difficult it just school to work on the farm and it was always something to do you had to plan to tobacco you head to harvest it and Arctic groups and you could take them out on work him this forms and Barbara you participate in writing workshops including one I met you at the North Carolina Writers Network so what is it out of the seminar you nuts in normal adulthood because you worked for the IRS. What was it you did as a child to get punished that way baseball's always been a a love of mine but I played a lot of golf played on the golf team in high school and college played golf all through my life so that's off I started off playing a lot of little league baseball but I wasn't very good so you're GonNa read a story about baseball said that that sort of inspire your your love of the Game Nabarro talked about living off the land you you just got back from a hiking trip where you're trying to live off the land but only for two days right three it's okay to people who I could improve my my standard of living and hopefully if I because I saw this occurs in in my family finals when aspired it was written as a as a like a classroom exercise boroughs book writing fiction and one of the to live a better life than my mom and Dad I listened to my teachers in school when they told me that as an African American sizes was right something from the point of view of someone or something other than a human so just whip this up as a and and so it was hard for me to watch my older siblings quit school because they missed too many days when you go Michigan Well Michigan did a lot of playing golf when I was in high school I learned how to play golf as an exercise and then some months later the Charlotte Riders Club had a contest for flash fiction so squashed it down to under five hundred words playing playing Playing Golf in in the spring in Michigan was challenge played in April and May which is like a short January and February here in North Carolina. Virginia so I've seen this hair and at his pond trying to eat his coy that are in his pond and my friend the example in my family and Roger You you said you had a normal childhood but what does that mean exactly what's normally shopping center and by Charlotte Mecklenburg Library a connector readers leaders and learners with twenty locations and a twenty four hour online dad when you miss two days a week and you go back to school on the third day you lost you have no idea where you are and what your sign means Were the era is now I will some eleven ten or eleven and I wanted to participate in mayday so badly but we had to have a particular cost uh-huh good math okay and that that led you to that career not much riding going on at the RS I wrote now that Miracle Happen for me the night before May Day today it makes me just continue my favorite make me believe chills just it should be more afraid of the human than the doll will the pond the pond is a that I visualize pond on a farm of a friend of mine lives in West you and I knew that my parents couldn't afford it but I kept digging I just kept digging for new shoes because my teacher told us we had to have black shoes who lives in West Virginia he lives off the land and he's been known to shoot deer graze and corn alongside is garden out his bedroom window living is Wael so I felt like I had to finish school ahead to go to college in a head to better myself because I wanted to say and Barbara you're opening read five lies I heard you read this writer's Club is a her roger read his piece this is a true story from your child right comes over my body every time I think about it because it happened exactly that way where you've got to put on the spot there in your prayer right so so I put this story about by friends farm in West Virginia and why the hair and Oughta have fear that farmer is it happened before that right before every time she will accent will look at her and just lie yes Ma'am I I got it yes Ma'am I'm reading and some and won a prize yeah and is this what kind of bird is it the the something these fish is a hair okay and what what made it occurred to you the automobile drive my back is still barely speaking okay and then your first piece here at the pond is involves what happens pickles and each time my teacher asked me if I hit when she was on my costume I would lie I was GonNa say you start you tell there's one lie in this little extra cheer even therefore cut it down to read everything but I I really do challenge guard there. SOS Incidental Avenue. I didn't know any better I didn't know he he if you can't even give me some black shoes I I'm not going to believe all these things Joan oil everything out and said that and more in my prayer it just that I had I also remember one of landowners in his adult son they molested me for several years I was too afraid retail anyone afraid that they would make us move from their land afraid to data would blame me for causing trouble I remain number big indebted to let me go to school instead of working on the farm I was always scared that I will not graduate high school because of frequent absences and I remember that when data get upset with me he would tell me that I was not worth the sold ACA fields from sunup to sundown even before I started school I remember being cold and Hungary hot and Ongeri mostly been hungry I remember my oldest sister's boyfriend molested me on the first day of school when I was six deal with my anger in my childhood and as he actually said my desire to kill really hit nothing back she was really a good friend more than I deserve and she forced me to see a psychiatrist and this how I ended up in psychiatry the way to psychiatrist counter put it my childhood had a lot to do with my anger and so I had to really bring it forefront in did I eight when Dr Alice asked me how these memories made me feel a couldn't answer a hit not even gotten to the about my childhood then we would discuss why I wanted to commit a murder well I see it I remember working in Tibet that I really had planned to kill him and call my girlfriend because I want her to be my Alabama and instead of her being my album is really in love with this with this young man when I was younger and we broke up and I thought it was all his fault and I will so hurt and angry you tell us a little bit about that before you read it because you're going to be an expert from it certainly I was broken hearted and who've would think about murder but umit me after head visit the psychiatrist good advertisement for psychiatrist I part so Barbara this difficult to listen to is it difficult for you to read it again a year so I told her and she poudel my naked bottom while her boyfriend stood and watched she said that I was too fast what do that force now this was my first visit to a psychiatrist and I wondered if he was smart enough to hit me of the hair office we must have done something more to you than just say we're breaking it off to get you thinking murder I just don't see I'm looking across the table you don't strike me as kept person to do with my ex-boyfriend because what you're going to read in the story here I think there's some things that come out here they would make anyone angry right I someone had you eight in bitterness at failed to it my ex boyfriend whom I had planned to kill Dr Al is me too I discuss what I remembered difficult for me to read it is difficult for me to even think about it and it was difficult for me to write it but it had to be written even yes has that process of writing these stories down been helpful hurtful little both Oh things that happened to me because other people prefer to forget it and let it go but I can't forget it Exa from your memoir and process and one from Roger but the piece you're gonna read now it's called a desire to kill can you I wilson different person and I have grown and I've learned forgiven but before being bitter person and my my two adult daughters can't read it because they cry and become depressed whenever they read about my childhood and sometimes I write is Nastya cry about it and he still still bothers me but Damore read about it and talk about the better I'm able to spaw teammates in nineteen sixty five and forty years later one decides Dean who's the narrator size to take his I'm doing pretty good I guess I'm doing the best that I can't right now let me just put it that way and I read this memoir and so I'm writing it hopefully for those people who read it they have children older people I want them to be able to avoid some of the struck me you said you couldn't answer because you hadn't even gotten to the worst part so there's something in this memorial even worse than what you just read Oh yes I did take out some of the worst parts because I don't want my family to be so embarrassed or angry because most of them don't want me to write it because sometimes the truth is very painful and I don't want to bring up mistakes that I made in so many mistakes that other people who had a relationship with me of those mistakes and this zapped I guess and you're writing all of these stories down and you're gonna put them all together as part of the memoir right it's a little boat some days I can write it in which don't feel so sad about it but in other days I love and when everything was going good but when things were not going good I could beat it means that a woman because of the past you have come to you this idea of two men many years later when I'm deciding he needs to help the other and he's GonNa take him to a baseball Buddy Mardi on baseball to see to try to help him or curious or something right yes and so had that close my door in crap ten to fifteen minutes and I go back to writing members last law after listening to you read Graham to do well it's based on a real trip that I took with a high school friend it's been fictionalised tremendously movie poster more surrealistic artwork covers every square inch of Marty's walls suggesting rich imaginary life with young fee allows stuff well you're sitting here is I'm sitting here but how you doing missile it's not a it's not a memoir true story but actually did take a trip and my friend did serve in Vietnam one the needs to help Marty yeah he wants to make it up to him he felt like he got he got the better breaks Mardi had to go to Vietnam Bill my induction physical so I was four F- so you've got this character dean who is the narrator and he failed his fiscal and he thinks he's the air in the center of her head down the spine all the way to her crack blood drips from Khloe Grace Marissa's forehead into her I in Kerry the minute to Rogers story the lucky one Roger you've got some the X. searching from the story here and before we male actresses I don't know how anyone can live like this I can only imagine the torturous traumas Marty suffered in three combat tours at all about child abuse different types of abuses that if people would just read they know what to do and what not to do because even but that was long ago enough years have passed a dull the memories of the Vietnam War Marty said ample time to extricate Mardi past and served three combat tours in Vietnam deans more liberal peace nick type character Marty a home that's immoral it's not gonNa ever come to light because it we are we're GonNa Shift Tigress stripes or tattooed from mostly shaved head down the neck and back to her Baris- a blond straight main flows from ribbon four have you read I want to set this this is this is a short story so it's fiction but it's grounded in some truth right I mean you get to high school that was the last time I laugh for the next four years Marty stares out the window at a soybean field you're one lucky son of a bitch conservative he's okay with was war as a story rolls on we find out that Dean is an active alcoholic the ball Odyssey to see games in Cincinnati Pittsburgh Cleveland and Detroit it's been a long time but maybe some baseball therapy will help and I did not so you of age at that time or yes want one true part is that I did oh Penney's and sears you had the whole room laughing yeah then some asshole shouted what about Commando Mardi that was me doc young children you know we're going to be adults one day and we're going to tell somebody one way or another so don't think the things that you're going to do turn his life around the next morning cruising south through Ohio Down I seventy five towards Cincinnati I flashed suffered a Dean Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome Dean went to college and graduated Mardi flunked out gene got lucky and failed his induction physical the lucky one I opened the door to Marty's trailer and I am seduced by the portrait of a nude young woman lying on her belly. Forget I'd curl up on the couch with my knees drawn to my chest and shiver my country had become estranged from Peace Okay You maggots lineup briefs on the left boxers on the right I drove fruit of the loom second row jockey hanes and munching wear last himself from this desolate Ann Arbor trailer part but he still stuck here in the morning I'll rescue Marty from his monastery in scored him on Bass second one Walter ended this broadcast with the body count of US killed in action a nightly reminder of my survivor shame as if I could ever you could fall through the floor of an outhouse and find buried treasure as we near downtown Cincinnati we pass Mitchell Avenue where I used to exit on the way to my first job my boss despised piece Knicks that Fascist city fire me if I didn't get rid of my faded after the game pass a weathered man seated near the bridge entrance holding a sign please help a homeless vet did you think you could help him I encourage sunny not to give up he's cleaned up before and he might again dean what will you miss you gene McCarthy bumper sticker after work I'd pop a cold one s I watched the CBS evening news with Walter Cronkite. I'd be on piece was nearly strangled by the king and Kennedy assassinations in nineteen sixty eight what was left to peace was beaten to death in the streets of Chicago Dog Oh at the Democratic convention in a last act of humiliation its corpse was left hanging on the steps of the Capitol where it could witness the Nixon inauguration I scraped off you gene blessed are the Peacemakers miass for they will be called traders most after he died sunny said he already misses his grandkids his daughter won't let him visit when he's drinking and living on the street Oh baseball what about your children your wife you mean ex I haven't spoken to her ten years what about you back to nineteen sixty nine remember our induction physical after the head a stripped down to shorts and shoes a heard your voice in the back yelling pocket why bother trying to save a lost soul don't say that no souls are ever lost I asked him what he'd together to create housing for the formerly homeless in Charlotte Nationally Known Program called Housing first that's been very successful here most after you're dead I thought my kids who no longer invite me to their homes not even for the holidays I don't know maybe baseball uh I'd miss my son and being a sponsor I didn't know you were a sponsor our listeners when we come back we're going land book makes the point that these addictions are particularly attacking wealthy areas one chapter of legally over prescribed and that have addicted a whole generation of Americans has become a major problem in this country and there has been some legislation in Pittsburgh the next morning we walked to the ballpark across the allegheny river on the Roberto Clemente Bridge stands and faces me with his hand held out he gives me a look that says don't be such a cheap shit I give him a twenty he'll just drink it and it looks on one hand at the heroin that's been illegally imported into the United States but on the other hand at the opioids that have been Mardi looks up from the bills what were you gonNa do with it Martin O'Neill's again and Tucks the money into the fellow shirt uh of Marty was but he's now a alcoholics anonymous sponsor so the question is we read through this who really needs the most help so this Mardi kneels next to him while I dodge oncoming pedestrian traffic streaming out of the Ballpark I move next to Marti hoping he'll take the hint that we should get going One by Jose Narrow City in war there are no unwinded soldiers and another one from Mark Vonnegut Kurt Son for listening to this show if you like the show please leave a short written review on Apple podcasts also known as Itunes or the podcast platform of your choice the one who's offering to help or the one who allegedly he thinks needs the help I'm not sure either couple of quotes inspired this story Marty Johnson both the writers who have done will contest the Roger doing short stories and Barbara writing a memoir so my guess is many disabled and deeply scarred ex hippies as there are Vietnam vets yeah that's interesting the podcast and tell us about the book it's called the hundred story home and it's not a hundred levels to live on in the home it's one hundred stories that came it took me years to figure out it wasn't my fault all those friends blown apart right next to me why not me I finished my glass bassist Roger and listening to the experts from the Lucky One I'm not sure who needs more help well and found out more go to seem dot org to stop any branch next time thank you Charlotte Readers podcast and host land dissuade are grateful to you the hat relief was always temporary I pour another glass from the pitcher Mardi waits for me to take a swallow recently some bipartisan legislation in Congress believe it or not to try to justice period dreamland book I think is one of the reasons for that and the is the narrator here is drinking doesn't have much patience for his friend who's going to help you know the yes because your review helps author share their stories with more listeners thank you for your support listeners were back with Roger Coburg and the leave it at that and start with the these experts you can read a few of these and then after that we're going to take our our break didn't show up for my shift tell me Dean what still haunts you thought that Goddamn war would never end podcast listeners you can find that part of part of season three of the podcasts just go to the website shoulders podcast dot com search season three to find it or on Apple podcast mm-hmm Mardi looks up at me have you got a few bucks stuff three ones into his palm MARDI glances at the money in need Dane says we just gonNA use it to drink and he turns and says what you're gonNA use it for and the hundred story home we'll just grab your heart Bid also engage your brain because we can make them better city and it did for me because I had a chance to interview Kathy in a laugh impor- another Mardi has more to say I let my past demons torment me right out of the best radio. Dj Job I ever had because I it's been drinking pretty much at every opportunity right yes yes throughout the whole story every meal as the narrator and he's going to help us friend he did serve in the war as Thomas this other book this is a pretty new book by Sam Kiwanis and it's called Dreamland the true tale of America's opiate epidemic here the ending of Rogers piece the Lucky One Ralston here another story from Barbara Johnson's 'em or which is entitled the Shotgun Not Really Santa Claus but he came through the shoes so we're going to transition now to to more rage one but you Barbara from you and after eating at a restaurant and more he's been watching Dean drank a pitcher of beer we pick up with the story there when I came home from Nam I drank so you're kind of setting up for for for the coming of the Interior in in in the last couple of experts here toward the end also a little bit of the writing life segment so stay with us Get stuff to come hey listeners I'm at the Uptown Library Branch library with the Laurien and resident to Tom Hatchet talking books today books that are available in the library Tommy got a couple of books one that I see right here Kathy is choose actually eland by Sam Kennedy's is set in South Charlotte speaking of addictions. If you're addicted books are surrounded by books shirl metal laverick Talisman grade soldiers died in my place that took a lot of courage for you to open up all these years I thought you were the lucky the body counts on the nightly news went on for years already says nothing waiting for me to continue every one of the until next week I'm lance way for Charlotte readers podcast and I pushed down I'm southbound on I seventy seven passing through Akron when my cell phone first rings by the end Dean has become rankled at the manifestations of Marty's ptsd that night in the Hotel Marty floor and another night with Marty down leads to my car the highway and freedom from Marty's craziness moving ahead to the ending dean has become increasingly irritated at Marty's hypersensitivity to sounds whether it songs playing on the car stereo or didn't have to face combat only those who got shot at have the right to feel guilty about still being alive egg down the hallway I realize Mardi soul is still mia in Ben Wa later as it rings three more times in the next hour before I pull off into a rest area and shut it off watches let me in on HBO starring Thirteen Year Old Khloe grace merits as a young vampire I'm awakened from they have the good sense not to answer their door Mardi returns to the room calls the front desk again. I must have fallen asleep awakened by Marty wheeling in a luggage cart we're changing rooms I got the last one available up on the fourteenth floor pack your things you re dealing what was none of anybody's business I guarded that secret for decades no one wants to hear whining from a lucky best I snooze by Marty complaining to the hotel management about music coming from the room next door he hangs up the phone and catches me Gawking don't you hear it the guilt that sorta driving at this point yeah well they're both they're both of mess Marty's got active ptsd never a hotel band playing eleven floors below shrill squeals of excited children at a food court or pulsating bass notes emanating from Dinner Club Marty is now unstable and dangerous I paused elevators the up button leads to the fourteen stared dumbfounded as he rounds up his stuff and zips up his suitcase. Here's your key you can have the cart as I watch him Toda's roll the luggage cart down the hallway I know I'm in way over my head I tried to help him but his anguish and suffering are more than I can handle so Roger end of the story Dane the Narrator Adenauer done thank you can help us friend but you think is the memories of Bentley apparently
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That's right. Corbin's back. Kevin Owens is losing. Hey, look. It's Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode. Losing. Who? God. I mean, it's hey, so thanks for recapping the shows. That's it. Right, yeah. Good night. Let's talk about hey, it's time for Hollywood hawkwood. Modest podcast out there. That's what everyone is saying. Look at this. I mean, I'm saying it. Yeah, you're saying it? Yeah. Eric saying it. That's everyone. Yes. I read it somewhere that it was the hottest. Yes. Right here. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, go check out Hollywood hogwash. Playable. Anywhere podcasts are heard. Do you have anything to us right now on your podcast app? Yeah. Hollywood hogwash? Yeah. It's right there. We reviewed Venom: Let There Be Carnage. Yes. Turns out there wasn't much carnage. Unfortunately. But if you haven't seen the movie, you can still listen to the podcast 'cause the first 30 minutes or so is just talking about the latest news and rumors in Hollywood. So we give spoiler warnings every episode no matter what. We also talked some what if we talked about what if, yes. A little bit of squid game, but yeah. So check it out. Hollywood hogwash. Yeah. Like it? Subscribe to it. Subscribe to it. Share it. We're on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Hollywood hog pod. Yes. Give it 5 star 5 stars. Someone already gave it one star they didn't write a review. Yeah, just like fuck you guys. That's just shows you like we just have haters out there. No, but next time. We should invite Josh to do something on it. He was very angry. Now, if you love this show, please listen to that show because we hope that's the show. If you like the venture and the shows, imagine that with your favorite movies, TV shows. We want to move to other shows. Worse. But in light, we still love wrestling. But it's good. We still have to watch when it's good. We still have to watch wrestling. Yeah. We do. It is what it is. So I don't know if a lot of people are aware, but in sync with the WWE draft nsync yeah, yeah. There was also the podcast draft. Yeah. And all of us got drafted to what's wrong with wrestling. Wow. I know. It's crazy. We all get drafted to this point. We all got drafted to Tuesday nights? Yes. Where did Josh get drafted? He Thursday night Thursday night. Yeah. It's amazing. What a coincidence. It's the same every year. Yeah. You know, pretty much like the WWE draft. Exactly. Wow. Hey, guy who's been on raw exclusively. You are drafted to raw. Yes. Yes. Okay. The networks were like, we like, you know, Andrew Joe and Eric. We want to keep them together. So we are officially drafting them to this show. I want to keep talking about that, but let's get into the show. I can make fun of it as we talk about it. First things first, first, we got to thank three new people who joined Patreon for the first time. Yes. So thank you to T one. You know it. Sebastian McConaughey. Love that name. And the Simon system works. It does. Yeah. Did you get it? Oh, I get it. Do you get it? No, no. Okay. All right. There was a wrestler in the I would say 2004 around then. Yeah. He was Simon and he was like, yeah, Simon dean a workout guy. Simon system. Yeah. And the first thing he was like, they went to commercial and they were trying to make it look like it was an actual commercial. Like an infomercial. And he said, chances are I don't like you. And you're probably saying Simon, you don't even know me. How come you don't like meeting? Well, if you live in this country, then chances are you're fat. It was basically like a mister perfect gimmick. Remember, right. Like a Tony little meets mister perfect. Yeah. It didn't work out. And then they put Maven with him? Yeah. And it was just yeah, it wasn't good. It was fun fact on that. Eddie gross last pay per view. No mercy, which was here in Houston. Simon dean had a match. Oh, on that card. On the card. On the show. He fought. Bobby Lashley. And the person who lost had to eat a big plate of cheeseburgers. Oh, what a horrible thing to do. And like the last was he cries 5 minutes of footage on air of Lashley yelling at something. Eat the burgers. Eat them. And he's like, he's crying. Yeah, yeah, he's crying. He's a delicious cheeseburger. He has like flashes. I'm getting PTSD from background. Me too, actually. The Men in Black flash thing didn't work so well. If you remember on myself. But yeah, that's a pretty obscure wrestler name there. Thanks for signing up. Yeah. And you two could sign up at Patreon dot com slash, what's wrong with wrestling? Our Patreon system works. It does work, yes. We are ranked 14th overall on wrestling content on Patreon. Number of subscribers. Yeah. And I still love the fact that when I tell someone about the show, I go, pull up your iPod, or I podcast Apple. Then I go yeah, whatever, and then I go, hey, just Google WWE. And we're always like one of the first pictures. And I'm like, well, that person's famous. That person's famous. That person's famous. And then there's us. Right. Oh, I thought you were pointing to the three of us. You were like, that person's famous, that person, and that person. I'm not gonna Mike Greenberg myself and be like, how famous am I? Let's Google it. No, talk sports. Sorry, that's just the thing. I've always hated him just creating another feud for himself. Another feud. Oh, don't get me started. Again, Patreon dot com slash what's wrong with wrestling $5 a month get you everything you can cancel any time. We got weekly NXT and AW recaps. All the pay per view recaps coming later this month, the Saudi mania recap. Yeah. Probably the most popular recap of all. One's our fans love the most because absolutely. It's usually the worst pay per view of the year. And we have the most for sure. You can hear great content like I am Saudi Arabia. I think Saudi Arabia. I think our patrons get like ten episodes last month. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, we did a lot of work last month. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of content. We just did the best ass brackets. Of 2021. Oh, that's right, we're behind a couple. That was everyone said that was they loved watching that so you guys can check it out as well. Right? There you go. I hear rumblings that the women patrons want a no, don't say it. Fat chance. Best cock? Brad guest. Best cock bracket. I think man ass. I think Finn Balor wins because he's always got a little chub poking out. He does. It's. Clearly out here. No one ever told him it's not polite to point. Hey, yeah, I'm sure someone's eyes. That earring is that you're demon. Yeah. This is a Damon Kane. It's like, oh, look at it, it's so cute. Look at that little thing right there. Look at that. And then this month, we're also gonna be doing a watch along for the escape. The undertaker. Hey O, movie on Netflix. Yeah. Which, you know, looks horrible, but I'm sure it'll be a lot of fun. Choose your own adventure. Sure. Yeah. Are you ready to go on the adventure with us? I'm not a new day. And it seems like it's short enough that we could watch every outcome. Right. Sure. Yeah, that'll be fun. All right, SmackDown opens with the WWE draft. Michael Cole and pat McAfee explained that only half of the roster is eligible to be drafted tonight, which is what they usually have been doing in the past few years. Correct. And also the draft results won't go into effect until after crown jewel, which is three weeks away. So silly. That's the first time they've done that. Yeah. I don't understand the point of this. But people were still showing up to their shows. Other shows? Yeah. Whatever shows? Any shows? It basically just spoils, not that crown jewel would be a tough card to predict who was winning. Right. But it makes it even easier to predict who's winning and losing. So quick question. So I guess is crown jewel the official pay per view for October? Yeah. Because usually a, it's on a Thursday. Usually they do crown jewel or whatever Saudi mania show. And then they have a pay per view. Yeah, that's true. So I guess that's their official. We shall see. Well, thank God. Yeah. Right, please. And then so Adam Pearce and Sonya DeVille come out to announce the first round of picks. And the first pick by SmackDown, get ready. Yeah. The universal champion. Right reigns. Well, that's like, oh my God. By the way. His reaction was amazing. Like, I just love how he overreacted to it. Yeah. The fans cheered like they just announced, I don't know, stone cold was traffic. So cold was drafted or something like their mind to the most obvious pick in the world. Those were not real cheers. Come on. No. No. Why would they cheer Roman Reigns though? I would put fake cheers and that fake booze because they're excited no matter what about the draft. Yeah. Hey Joe, guess what? You just won this pen. Yeah, oh yeah, there you go. Anything. He came. Yeah. Yeah, so next up we have raw picks, WWE Champion Big E, of course. Of course. Then SmackDown selects the raw women's champion Charlotte Flair. What? Which means earned Becky after swap belts in a few weeks. Yeah. They've done that before with the tag titles. And then with the last pick of the first round, raw selects Bianca Belair. So. Would it just make more sense to just leave the champions out of it? We've said this before. Leave the champs out of it, especially when you have a title named after your show. Leave them out of it. That's it. Well, once you have the draft and again, it's so boring when they're just drafting the people half of it is the people staying on the same show. Just do what they used to do where it would be the shake up and you don't know what's gonna happen. It's a lottery, but it's, you know, it's not really random, but they pretend it's random. That way, you're not announcing, oh, this guy's staying here. This guy's staying here like over and over again. Right. Just every time it's gonna be someone, you know, like they used to have matches like, oh, raw wins, so they gonna pick here and it's gonna be a random thing. Yeah. I think that would be better than doing a draft every year. Well, first of all, so it's even again, right? So I know we're all used to get an extra pick because it's a longer show. So now we're even. And one round is four picks? Yes. They used to be 5, because rob would get three, but now that SmackDown's the a show, they're like, well, two and two. Yeah, two and three. We have been doing nothing with a third hour anyway. You know, it's funny, I was thinking about this watching the draft, you know, especially how Becky and Charlotte are going to have to swap belts. Why don't they just do like the WWE women's championship? And then the women's universal title. Well, that's stupid. It is. I give you Vince. Can I make money? That's why I always thought they should just make it like for the men the rod men's championship and the down champion. Yeah, I mean it is basically, right? Yeah. Swapsies. I guess you can't get rid of the WWE title. Yeah. And then they're acting like, oh, we have both women's champions on SmackDown now. And it's like, yeah, I'm sure that'll last. Right. We have seen this multiple times. Is it 7 O one on Monday yet? Yeah. Right. Does this sound familiar? You've got one device that lets you catch the game live. Another that lets you stream your favorite shows. You're watching sports highlights on your phone. And you've got your neighbor's best Friends login for the good stuff. Well, I want to tell you about a simple way to get all that entertainment and you love without the hassle and a great way to finally get your TV together. It's called DirecTV stream, and it brings your live TV and on demand favorites together like never before. So you can watch your favorite sports, movies, and shows, all in one place. That means no more juggling remotes, and no need to buy another device ever again. And the best part, there's no annual contract. So get rid of the clutter, and the confusion and get your TV together with direct TV stream. You can learn more at DirecTV dot com. That's DirecTV dot com. Compatible device required, content varies by package. No team can afford to overpay for talent. Build a championship team with indeed the smart way by only paying for quality candidates that meet your must have requirements. Get started right now with a $75 sponsored job credit to upgrade your job post that indeed dot com slash blue wire. When hiring gets hard, you need indeed. The job site that makes hiring incredibly simple, just attracts, interview, and higher. In fact, with indeed, you can do all of your hiring in one place. Even interviewing , get a $75 credit at indeed dot com slash blue wire. Indeed knows how important it is to make the most of your recruiting hours and dollars. With indeed, you can save time and money by setting your must have qualifications and only paying for the quality candidates that meet them. Indeed dot com slash blue wire offer valid through October 31st, terms and conditions apply. So all right, we got an in ring promo from Roman Reigns, and you know, to be fair Roman is over in Baltimore, so maybe those, you know, they acknowledge the tribal chief. This is probably the first time Baltimore seen anything live. Let's go get started. Right. Yeah. But Paul Heyman says that's not loud enough. It doesn't surprise me from a room of Baltimore ons. And then he says that Saudi mania will not be held, I'm just gonna call it Saudi mania. That's fine. It's what it is. He says, Saudi mania will not be held in suplex city because the beast will come up against the suplex cyst Roman Reigns. What? And all of these. You didn't like that? No, no. No. All right. If anything Brock is this suplex or sis. No, he's the because he's gonna exercise the suplex. Like the demons. So then Brock Lesnar's music hits. I have to admit that reigns is getting better 'cause he was staring straight ahead all confident as he was talking, but when Brock's music hit, he just, he starts blinking, you know? Which is just like an obvious sign for being nervous. So I like that. Yeah. Anyways, lumberjack Lesnar gets in the ring. Basically, right. And he gets face to face with rains. Brock bunyan. Yeah. It just always has to be with feet with you. What are you talking about? Paul bunyan, it's like the most famous lumberjack. I know, but oh funny, whatever. That's disgusting. It's like the worst thing you could say. Tarantino's like throwing up right now. He's like, how could you bring that stuff with that? Yeah, basically. Anyways, Roman throws the first punch and Brock takes him to suplex city. The Usos run out while rains retreats and Brock easily disposes of them, Roman teases getting back in the ring, but he puts these out, so Lesnar gives The Usos a pair of F 5s. Yeah, sure. It was a nice little segment. Right. Not bad. Next up Kayla Braxton interview Charlotte Flair backstage. Kayla asks, how is your strategy chains? Now that you're competing on a completely new roster well, at this point, no other woman has been drafted to SmackDown yet. Accurate. So what do you mean, new roster? She is the roster. Yeah. That's it right now. And Charlotte said all the brute squad. Charlotte says Fox News to the real face of WWE is. Okay. All right. Sure. That's not you. No. No. Next up, we have Kevin Owens versus happy Corbin. With Corbin's new associate, madcap moss. Let's see. What he has to say. This guy comes in handy. Especially when he keeps me happy by telling him joke. Give him a joke. Come on. One? How about three? And are you short once and a long one? Okay, ready? Yes. Stop it stupid, stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid, stupid. Vince, this is such good shit. Yeah. No, you liked it. Yeah. Get that man out. I didn't even get the joke. Oh, he's got three jokes. She's in a long one. Joe joke joke. Yeah. That's the long one. Wow. Yeah. That's like second grade level. This is the best Vince can come up with. That's not even like ironically funny dad joke. Yeah. It's not. I thought his name was mad cat moss until I saw them spell it out. Yeah. And then it was mad cap moss. Like Andy cap. He's got a cap that's mad. Yeah. Madcap. It's like a term from the 1800s, I think like a crazy person. Why be called Riddick Moscow? Yeah. You know, which reminds me of the movie Riddick, which is a cool movie when you could be madcap madcap moss. He's like up your dukes. Angry hat covered with tree fur tree cubes. Yeah. Anyways, moss trips, KO, while the ref isn't looking and he and Corbin laughed hysterically. Later moss distracts Owens again and Corbin hits the end of days on the floor, and then he hits the end of days in the ring for the win. Yeah. Double burial of Kevin Owens. So this is where my worst comment is. I can either share it now or I can wait for the award. Go for the award. Okay. Okay then. All right. Split decision. Do half of it now. Okay. End of days. And that's where I'll leave it. Who said it, Michael Cole? Probably. Of course. Even that faster. All right, next up we have the round two of the draft. SmackDown selects Drew McIntyre. Okay. Raw keeps our Kay bro. Just say keeps, please. Yeah, that's what they should say. That's what they should. But every time they're like, wow, raw's getting okay bro, it's like they've had them. At least they're champions so I can see them getting drafted together. But later on, all time great, it's drafted as a tad team. Doesn't make any sense. Right. What? So real quick. Raw drafted, okay, sorry, go ahead. Let me interject real quick before you read the next one. So when Big E won the title, what were you most excited about? I don't know. The new day being on raw together. Yeah. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, right man. Okay, go ahead. So SmackDown drafts the new day. Damn it. Middle bottom. This one we're gonna put just sucks that ever sucked. Those both work. Yeah. I mean, okay, so raw drafted biggie with the second overall pick. They could have just drafted the whole new day because you're allowed to draft groups and stables and tag teams. Correct. No, we don't like the other two guys. Clearly, that's what it is. That's what happened last year too. Because one show just drafted two of them and not Big E and it was like, yes. Break them up completely them together. Right. Like a group of three, go down to two in the still be the same group. Yeah. It doesn't work. No. And then raw draft's edge, so edges change shows. So he could fight with Orton again. Well, fuck, maybe I mean. Next up Caleb Braxton interviews McIntyre backstage and he says he's coming for the universal championship. At any points the sword at the camera. Oh, you sweet. Oh, he's coming, but it's gonna be a swing and a miss with that sword. Probably three misses. Thank you. Three pay per views. Yes. So I'm gonna miss three in a row. Next up we have an in ring promo from edge. Edge says I'm the only talent here that was on the first episode of SmackDown. Not something to brag about. It's always felt like home to me, but now I've been drafted to Monday Night Raw. Were you really came into your own? Where you became the rated R superstar? I know. Yeah. On SmackDown. Where you fucked lita in the ring? In the ring. Probably for real. I'm just gonna assume they actually did it. He reminds us of Seth Rollins, giving him the curb stomp a few weeks ago, causing him to be stretched out of the arena. He says, set this challenging me to a rematch because he knows I'm not 100%. I'm not cleared yet, but he knows what kind of man I am and he knows I have to answer his challenge. So Seth appears on the big screen, but he's not at SmackDown. He's at edge's house. Yes. And when they first show, Seth's talking and he's in front of the house. You can see that he's in front of a house. And this is where they make edge look really stupid. Because at this point, doesn't know where he is. But this is a very distinguished house. It is. So like there's like green, it's very distinguished. And if I showed you one pixel of your house, you know, all these years, you'd be like, that's my fucking house. Yeah. Right. But unless every house looks exactly like that, which I doubt on his block, I mean it must. But neighborhood rules. He eventually reveals it's because it says Copeland and then edge freaks out. He immediately runs to the back as if he's gonna like. They're in Baltimore. Where did he live? I think like North Carolina. Yeah. So he immediately starts running to North Korea. He's like, taxi, taxi. Yeah, yeah. Well, he didn't have his phone in his pocket. I've been tweeted that, like, the gift of like forced running. Yeah. Get there eventually. Right. So Rollins opens the front door. He's like, oh, come on, every day. I don't know about your front door. Just Canada, all right? Now everyone knows you can use breaking edge's house. There's almost laughing too hard, yeah. Yeah. So he opens the front door he calls for Beth, but no one's home. And we've seen the door unlocked. We've seen people break into other people's houses in wrestling before. They're always unlocked. And it's like, you know, these are beat them up or like wreck the place. That's evil plan. He drinks some orange juice. I have a sandwich. Eats an apple. Makes fun of edge's daughter's artwork. And then just sits on a chair like ah, this is great, all right. I'm not taking a nap, all right? I'm despicable son of a bitch. That's all he did. I'm just gonna wait for the cops to come right here on this couch, all right? Yeah. That's all he comes are clearly on their way as soon as he got to his phone. Like when Samoa Joe just did the ding dong a ditch . A couple years back. He taught Wendy. Yeah. So backstage, edge calls Beth and tells her, don't go home, go stay at your brothers. I'm calling Daniel and David. I fucking loved that. Yeah. So Daniel and David are the real first names of Dax harwood and cash Wheeler of FTR because they live in the same neighborhood as edge. Yeah, yeah. Wow. That was probably like what? Yeah, right. It's probably so true. What edge actually? That's amazing. Yeah. And then like the higher up that like probably Bruce prichard who's like, not even gonna tell us. But like, let me ask you a question. That's kind of a pussy. So I was an edge like, hey, honey, honey. When you get home, we beat the shit out of us. Please. Seth. Yeah. Give him a glance. What a good day. What was Seth gonna do rape Beth Phoenix? Right, right. And murder their daughters. Weren't you expecting Beth to just destroy him with something? I was just waiting for her to beat the shit out of them. Yeah. And it just goes idiot. Yeah. But yeah, that's how it ends. We don't know. Seth can still be there. Who knows? Maybe he locked the door so FTR couldn't get in. Just locks it. That's it. Next up, we have carmela versus live. After a rematch after rematch. Except not really. Before the match starts, which it never does. Carmela puts on a mask to completely cover her face and it sparkles. So that Liv can't mess up her face anymore. It's all real diamonds knocked. And it was terrible looking. And then she gets the horror movie the next undertaker. Right. Escape from carmela's. She gets back in the ring. It's like a mankind mask like she used to be able to put it on. She bedazzled mankind's mask. She gets to the ring, the ref holds live back, and then allows Carmelo to beat her up. She gives live The X Factor classic. And then takes off the mask and that's it. The match never happened. Thanks. Thanks for coming. All right, so we didn't get to see the 9th match of these two of the series in this series. Amazing. I mean, I guess you could or they both going to remember. I'm not sure. No, yeah, they are. Yeah. Okay, so they did. They were in the feud. Sure. It has to are you kidding? Yeah. You know, it's the best of 100, I think, something like that. I mean, once edge went to raw, you're like, well, right. I know where Seth's going. Drafted that for you. All right, round three of the drafts, SmackDown selects happy Corbin and madcap moss, raw keeps, oh, I'm sorry, I guess they kept them, and then raw kept Rhea Ripley and Nikki ish. And then SmackDown takes headroom. From NXT. A lot of NXT stars drafted. And so many of you who are you? These guys. They should have at least said only a select number of NXT stars are available. Right. Because they really didn't select anyone that or any like, no, they're all people. Oh my God. People you won't miss. But Sony DeVille read all the names from hit rope. She's like swerve Scott. Top dollar, ashanti Adonis, and then she called B fab fab B. Unless that's Vince changing B fab's name. I think the odds are more in that than. You know, like the fabulous beat. Vince did you mean to flip it? Yes, I did. I'm a junior. Then you're fired. And we're gonna call up beef. I ain't got a second. Yeah. And then raw keeps Keith bear bearcat Lee. So there you go. Yeah. So swerve, obviously dropping the North American title. Oh, yeah, I guess sooner than later. I guess you probably want Santos Escobar. Right, I guess he's finally got to get it. It's probably happening now. Now we got to October 22nd. That's right. Yeah. Next up, we have the new day and the street profits versus alpha academy and the dirty dogs. Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode. Comedy tour? Yeah, maybe. Sure. Not much to talk about new day hits their finisher on rude for the win. Under round four of the draft, SmackDown selects Naomi, but Sonya didn't like it. She's like, it's obviously wasn't my pick, but you had picks? Right. Who's picking for you? Yeah, what's happening? Isn't this? Isn't it supposed to be Fox and USA? Is it the fox robot? It's a fox robot drafting again. Who is drafting this? It's supposed to be Fox News. I mean, at least that one time they showed like the boardroom executives. Right. You know? Yeah. Right. Right. When they tried to make it like an NFL Draft when they last year when they drank they drafted R truth and they went apeshit. They was the pick, they went crazy for it. To quote Joe pizano, they lost their stupid fucking minds. Yep. Next rod drafts ray and Dominic Mysterio. Okay. SmackDown takes Jeff Hardy. He's another one that switches like every year, right? Dependable. Raw gets Austin theory from NXT. That's the guy. This is his second call up. Oh. So again, yeah. And what round is this? Round four. Fourth round pick. Yeah. Awesome. The top 20 of these guys. Yeah, it's because it's, you know, one half of tonight. So apparently there's only 40 people to draft. Right. Caleb Braxton starts to interview Jeff Hardy backstage, but then Brock Lesnar walks up and Jeff's like, okay, I'll see you later. Oh, come on, of course, it's Brock Lesnar. Right. Jeff's like, I've been down this road before. Yeah. I'm not going to take my chances. Yeah, deuces, I'm good. Yeah. That was Brock's first feud. Yeah, the hardy boys. And since Brock is a babyface now, he politely asked Kayla for the mic. He's like, oh, please. Okay, thank you. I would have eaten you right before he would have just walked up, he would have like face pawn Jeff out of the way and then just grab the mic. Of course. So Brock says I like to thank my good friend Paul Heyman because of Paul Brock Lesnar is a free agent. Brock Lesnar gets to do whatever Brock Lesnar wants to do. And then he drops the mic and winks in the camera. And this has got to just be because Fox and USA were both demanding to have their own adventures like, okay fine, nobody on photoshops. Back Lester has once a bit, again, been drafted to free agency. So you have this whole thing. What the fuck? That's not one. You have this whole draft. To set up that there's two different rosters. But then there's one guy that just, you know, can do it everyone. Whatever. Whatever. Who cares? Right. None of this matters. None of it. Remember, if you're not drafted, you're a free agent. So if someone's on the shelf that's clearly coming back, Bailey, if you don't draft her, she's gonna be like, I'm a free agent. Right. 'cause everyone forgot about me. Well, that means you don't get paid. You're not science. Right, yeah. That was John Cena for a while. It was right. He's got decent money now. That's true. Is that good? Yeah. Next up we go into Roman Reigns locker room, haman is sweating, as Roman interrogates him. Roman ass Heyman, where my cousins drafted to SmackDown tonight, Heyman explains that they can't be drafted until Monday, but Roman doesn't care, Heyman says Roman, I'm the wise man, and then Roman laughs, but then screams, you're the wise men when I say you're the wise man. Then Heyman starts to cry and begs. Please don't do this. And Roman tells Heyman, I want you to go to raw on Monday and make sure my cousins are drafted to SmackDown. Do you understand? And Heyman says, yes, my tribal chief. And Heyman leaves, and then reigns tells The Usos, I want you to go with him. And if you're not drafted to SmackDown, leave him for dead at raw. I'm not really digging this dynamic where Paul Heyman is scared shitless of Roman Reigns, but well. Because of the dynamic since the beginning. Yeah. It's gotten increasingly worse the past. No, but they want us to think that this whole thing is because he's fighting Lesnar. They want us to think that there's a chance Heyman could turn on Roman and help Lesnar win. That's why they're doing this. I mean, logically, that's what he's like, oh, you're just gonna treat me like, shit all the time. Yeah, I'll go hang out with Brock. Yeah. You know? And obviously there's gonna be some moment at Saudi mania where you think Heyman's turning on him or at some point he's gonna be that probably doesn't. Probably not. Because they made those t-shirts with all the money. Right? And it's not like Lesnar's hanging around. You know, he'll be gone until the Royal Rumble or something. Winners companies get a lot of trees to chop. We don't even know if he signed a long-term deal or not. Yeah. So who knows? But next up we have Bianca Belair versus Sasha Banks. The WrestleMania rematch that we never saw at SummerSlam, 'cause Sasha got COVID or something. We got Becky Lynch on commentary. Biller gave Sasha running forearm in early in the match with Sasha, sold beautifully. That was really good. It was worth pointing pointing out. And then mid match, Michael Cole started explaining to Becky, about triple threat matches, and the man took exception. If Bianca Belair would have pissed off the banks, which he almost did here the power, the opportunity to champion. Michael. I became 52 belts off a triple trip. Michael. So great. Michael. She said what we've all been thinking of course. Yeah, but if she was a face, you know what I mean? It would have made more sense. It just shows that, well, the faces are supposed to be nice. I'm like, well, even though everyone hates yeah, that's true. But no, it just shows like even the wrestlers think they over explain too much. Right. Like they treat us like we're simpletons. Exactly. So Sasha tried to power bomb Belair off the apron, but Bianca did a nice backflip and backed into Becky, Belair then gave Sasha spinebuster on the barricade and then threw her back in the ring. Then Belair talked trash to Becky, but when she got back in the ring, Becky grabbed her hair without the ref seeing, very casually. I loved it. She kind of pinned it on the mat. Yeah. And then Sasha beat Bianca with a roll up. Yeah. When was the last time Sasha ever used to roll up in one? I don't know. I mean, probably not too long, really, because everyone does that shit. And this company. After the match, Charlotte Flair gets the ring and gives banks and bellaire, a pair of big boots, and the show ends with Charlotte holding up her belt in the ring as Becky holds up her belt while standing on the announce table. Yeah. Two champions. What you gonna do brother? Yeah, I can't believe it. So on to Monday Night Raw, we start off with Becky Lynch. Just like el SmackDown ended. And she announces that she is the first pick from Monday Night Raw tonight. Spoiler alert. There you go. She says I never lost the raw women's championship and Charlotte Flair has never been the same since I beat her. No. So I think it might be time to become Becky two belts once again. I'll take that over Charlotte being a champion. Yeah. But Becky on both fucking shows. Yeah. So Charlotte comes out and says before you were Becky, two belts, you were Becky, pre show. Which is like, yeah, I mean, that's how everyone starts, right? Right. It will not Charlotte. That's immediately always on the card. Then Bianca bellaire comes out and says the EST of WWE is going to be the EST of Monday Night Raw because I go here now. She's back to doing that. Yeah. Flair tells biller shh because the champions are trying to have a conversation and this is where the fans Charlotte sucks. Great. And Charlotte responds by doing the lamest what chant. She's like, what? What? Yeah. It's like, okay. Great job. You know point. Stop stealing shit. I gotta have mercy on your plastic soul. Yeah. Bella tells Becky, you better get your girl because she doesn't know me. Charlotte says, I'm no girl. I'm a woman. But that's debatable. Hold the word. Yeah. Is that a woman? Becky suggests that Bianca and Charlotte have a match tonight since they've never faced each other. And then Pearson DeVille come out and make the match official. And they were on the round one. Night two. It doesn't make any sense. Go watch the NFL Draft. This isn't round one night too. That's not how that works. This is round 5. Yeah. Of the draft. Right. They just say round 5, and again, you know, because they have two shows and because they have to both draft big names. Oh, half the roster. Now this half, it's all stupid. But if this was now Roz picks and only raw's picks that would make sense for a Shroud of ros picks. But no, every round is both picks. I know. This is dumb. And it's also, again, I say this every year of 8 first round. The fact that they have multiple round multiple picks in one round. So like USA and Fox, they already did this draft. Like earlier in the day or something. And we're just finding out the results. Right. Like this isn't live drafting. It's just like, no, this is what they picked. So here you go. This was three months ago. So now we're doing it. So yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah, raw takes Bray Wyatt. Nope. You gotta re pick. So of course, raw draft Becky Lynch, SmackDown keeps The Usos and they cut backstage to haman, giving a big sigh of relief. Raw keeps Bobby Lashley and SmackDown keeps Sasha Banks. So the first round, three of the first four picks are still staying on the same show. Of course. And such a really did a troll job on social media. She was in like a really sexy red outfit. Like, who's ready for raw tonight? Making us think she was gonna be drafted to raw, but nope, not so much. Next up, we have Jeff Hardy versus Damien priest for the United States championship. Thank you very works. That works. Jeff dives off the apron, but priest moves and Jeff takes a hard bump to the floor, probably one he shouldn't take it 45 or how old he is. No, no. Hardy hits the twist of fate and hits the swanton bomb, but priest kicks out and immediately rolls up Jeff for the win. No so. Man, that sucked. Right. And it was a fucking roll up. Yeah. After the match, Sarah Schreiber asked hardy about being drafted to SmackDown, and he says, going to SmackDown might be the perfect opportunity to see a different side of Jeff Hardy. A different ego. So I guess he's bringing willow. Sure. They've been dreaming. He's been saying it in interviews, too. Yeah. I'm not very excited. But he was never willow in WWE. It was only what TNA TNA. So just like Matt Hardy brought, you know, his broken gimmick. Right. But he was woken. Things are about to be broken. Yeah. What? Woken. Oh. Sorry. That's what Michael Cole said when they returned. These are about yeah. And then they changed to woken. Yeah. So then Austin theory runs out and tells Jeff, I'm a big fan. Can I get a selfie? Just like, all right. And theory takes the picture, but then theory close lines him and my position for sure. Right. Theory lays down to Jeff's next to Jeff's dead body and takes another selfie. That was kind of funny as shit because he had the face paint and his eyes were closed. There's still eyes there. Jeff's face paint did not look cool this week. No. It's always a little crazy. It looks sloppy. Maybe he was a little, you know. Anyways, next up, Kevin Patrick interviews RK bro backstage, riddle tells Randy, it's great to have you back. Is that a snake in your pocket or are you just as happy as I am? Hashtag owners for Orton. Yeah. Yeah. Riddle rambles on, but orden says they will shut A.J. Styles and omas up at Saudi mania. And then he challenges omas to a one on one match tonight. We'll get back to that lane. Round two raw draft Seth Rollins. SmackDown keeps king nakamura and Rick boogs. Okay. Rock keeps Damien priest. Well, obviously, if SmackDown kept the IC title, they're like, once you draft the ice once you draft the mid card title, then we're gonna draft a mid card title. Exactly. And then SmackDown takes Seamus worst pick in the draft? Maybe. Round two? The steal of the draft? This was the shit of the draft. Yeah. The best biggest bust. Does that mean we're getting that tag team back? Oh my God, how dare you. How dare you? Cesaro has not been drafted to SmackDown yet. The officials are like, we are so happy to have Seamus and we can't wait to have his last 6 months in WWE. Yeah. Seriously. Next up we have Shayna Baszler versus Dana Brooke. Where the hell have you been? Who the hell cares? No, no one cares. Shayna makes Dana tap to the cure food of clutch in like 30 seconds. After the match, Shana's about to break Dana's arm on the steel steps, but do drop runs out for the same. Huh? And by runs out, you mean she comes out to her music. She kinda like hops and skips. Well, that's an entrance. And then goes to saver. Yeah. The whole time, Shannon's like, wow. Yes. Shana acts like she's leaving, so do drop checks on Dana. But then Shayna clotheslines do drop from behind. She deserves it. And do drop kind of no sells it. Like I'm too fat to feel that. And then the segment ends. Good night. Yeah. That was terrible. Credits. That was terrible. Who wins this feud? Who cares? No one. Yeah. Shana has to. We all lose. Next up, Kevin Patrick interviews haman and The Usos backstage, payment says I'm not only the special counsel to the tribal chief. I'm the warden of The Usos penitentiary. Patrick asked is that how you maintain Brock Lesnar's status as a free agent? And then The Usos look pissed at Heyman and they walk away from it. Yes, because he's the warden of the Uso penitentiary. He was able to get Brock Lesnar free agent status. Yes. What's it? What sense is that make? Yeah. Plus, they probably realize like, oh, you're the warden. We hate the warden. Right. We always want to beat him up. I'm always the one in jail, so yeah, fuck you. Or maybe he's like, no, you guys always let me out anyway. All right, I never face any consequences. That's true. Next up we have mansoor and Mustafa Ali versus angel Garza and in bertol carillo. You saw this two weeks ago. Umberto bashes all these head into the ring post while the ref's not looking and then Garza pins him for the win. All right, here we go. Round three. So real quick. Round three. We're gonna do a little trivia middle of the show. All right. We've got the hottest winning streak on either roster. Umberto. Three in a row. I should get like a quarterback just because of that. You got a quarter? You wanna make some dollar bet on how long they're streak last? Oh, that would be good . We have to. It's 'cause it's him. How many weeks till they're off TV and never seen it then? Probably. Angela Garth is like this guy. All right. Well, my days are numbered. Right. All right, round three, raw keeps A.J. Styles in omas. Hold on. Yeah. A.J. Styles. Arguably a top 5 talent to ever be in the company. Yes. After Sheamus. Right. After Sheamus and drafted as a tag team. Yeah, he's a tag team guy now. Wow. Yeah. SmackDown takes Shayna Baszler, Ross selects Kevin Owens. The street continues. All right, and so SmackDown takes them is, right? No. Right, they should. It's like when they do the mid car titles, they do them immediately back to back. Right. So it was like Kevin Owens and then we take them in. But The Miz isn't even a promo guy anymore. He's just like a fucking goofball and now he's doing Dancing with the Stars, so he's not on TV. He's not on WWE TV, right? John Morrison has fallen into main event. Yeah. They totally booked that feud for getting that The Miz was scheduled to be on Dancing with the Stars. Right, correct. They totally forgot that. As soon as one turned on the other, that's it. The feud was over. Yeah. Yeah. I defeated. Next up, SmackDown takes xia Lee from NXT. So I guess tea and Shaw's just may Ying and boa. Yeah. That's it. Yikes. Not good. One of the chances we never see never comes via yim treatment. Again. Okay, so the last draft because they didn't have a draft last year. The 2019 was the last one, right? I guess. Yeah. They drafted Arthur roux Haas to raw. And he was never seen. Never seen. Vanessa born got drafted was never seen. Oh my God. There was like, I think another person too, but like never seen again, future endeavor, goodbye. Santana Garrett was drafted, never seen on the show. After getting drafted and they were like drafted on the show, like all this is a big one. Right. Never seen again. Okay, I'm sorry. Remember? 79%. You can never see her. 62. Yeah. It's up there. Next up, we have an in ring promo from Big E, he said that Kofi and Woods are going to smack down. He brags about beating Lashley again. And then he asked Drew McIntyre to come out McIntyre comes out and yells it's a drew day, yes it is. Red my mind. Drew tells Big E, you deserve to be WWE Champion and they shake hands. But then he officially challenges Big E for the WWE Championship. And then Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode come out and Dolph tells Big E, you know, you forgot to thank me. And then we watched footage of when biggie was Ziggler's bodyguard ten years ago. Including him giving the big ending to Kofi. Yeah. They could have done something cool there, like, hey, you know? There's you fucking up Kofi. Right, right. And then Dolph like it should have been me. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. So Dolph says without me, there's no Big E, there's no new day. There's no money in the bank cash in. Hello, Xavier Woods might never be born. I thought that was funny. That was funny. And then drew says he may have a point, but Dolph says easy kid. You're next and then we watch one ziegler brought McIntyre to raw three years ago. So drew looks at rude and tells ziegler, clearly you've upgraded from the both of us and it's like, how dare you? Yeah. Rude. Hey, look, if this trend continues, rude will be champion. No shit. God, cross your fucking fingers. Seriously. There's no fucking chance of that happening though. I know. So rude says I'm twice the friend and twice the tag team partner that you ever were. Then ru tells ru tells Big E look at me, I put the body in body bodyguard. You call yourself biggie. They call me big bob. And then he's like do they now? No who tells you that? Please tell us who these people are. Ziegler again demands a thank you, but biggie says we do owe you something and that's an ass whooping. So how about the two of you against me, biggie and then drew says, and me, big D how about one more time? Sure, why not? Let's turn fucking heel. In my big D, what? Yeah, you know. He has a sword in one hand and his giant cock in the. So we have the tag team match, biggie pick Ziggler up for the big ending, but drew tags himself in and hits the claymore for the win. After the match, biggie hits rude with the big ending. Then McIntyre picks up the WWE Championship, hands it to Big E and Big E tells McIntyre. I'll see you at Saudi mania. Oh, calm down, Brian breaker. Yeah. And that's another one where it's like, we obviously know who's winning 'cause biggie's not dropping this title right away. And McIntyre was drafted to SmackDown to feud with Roman Reigns for the next three pay per views. Right. Until they can figure out who the hell else they can have loose to him exactly. If you looked at the all the drastic SmackDown like who's on SmackDown? Right. Who the hell is he gonna fight? There's no one there. So he's gonna fight Lesnar this month, reigns. Then Survivor Series will probably do Roman Reigns versus Big E, because they do wrong. Probably SmackDown. The one night a year Eric. TLC will be McIntyre. Royal Rumble will be McIntyre stop. Like it's at least two pay per views. Please stop. Maybe even a third, because well, they also, you know, they might do another Saudi show in February or March because that's what they've been doing. They would do it in March. I think march in October. So maybe there as well, who knows? Yeah, yeah. Honestly, like, when it rains this never losing this title. I don't think he's dropping it until he retires. Because he recently said he's only gonna wrestle for a few more years, so like, you know, it might be a few years of him holding this belt like CM Punk. But I mean, or longer, really than seeing punk at it. Who wants to see that? The same thing every single week. Oh, you want a genius? That guy wants to see it. I mean, it's his thing. Yeah, yeah. They gotta just work for Hogan. They just gotta hope they build someone up. So that they could, you know, beat reigns and become the new guy. Probably Braun breaker in the next step, but no, that's he's gonna be hammering the nails in fucking Ciampa's coffin. Yeah. Speaking of guy, probably. To build him up, the fans would love it. I mean, that's not what Vince is to do. So what I would do. These are the men that are on SmackDown. Angel Garza. Hell no. Or ashantee villa Donna. No. Cesaro? Nope. Drew Gulak? Yeah. I mean, it's the same guys. Oh mace. Yeah. Boox. Mad cow. Yes. Yeah, burn. Nakamura, maybe at some point, I can see him pushing him. No. Maybe your favorite. Yeah, all right, stop spoiling giraffe results. Hey, they didn't even talk about that one on Sam's box, the show. He is in TV worthy. I would say a lot of our fans don't. They thank us for having to put up with this bullshit. That's what it is. Backstage, Reggie gets ambushed by the jobbers, which now include Jackson riker. Oh, yeah. He killed Elias and now he's a job in for the 24 7. That's what happened for murder. Reggie escapes with more flips. They just go in a circle really. They do. Like he runs around a circle and they're like where did he go? They build an obstacle course. Yes. Reggie runs it and then runs away. Yeah. It's basically like the ones the dogs do on the fucking they time him. He has to do it for Westminster dog show. Yeah. Right. So Reggie escapes, but then he bumps into Apollo Crews and commander Z's and Chris is like command Rosie's and I tell you Raj crazy. Yep, it's like a disease just murder him right there. Apollo Crews? Yeah. No Reggie. And then take the title. Because they fucking don't value that shit. I know. Unless you're a complete job in douche. There's 5 guys that want the title. That's it. Yes. It's a 5 guy title. Yeah. Next up, we have an in ring promo from Kevin Owens, but before he even gets a word out, he's immediately interrupted by Akira tozawa. Josiah welcomes Owens to raw, but says I want to fight Reggie for the 24 7 title right now. So Owens gives him a stunner and leaves. Yeah. The ultimate way for Vince to bury Owens would be to have him win the 24 7 title. That'd be the ultimate burial of stop saying things out loud. He just stunned. Stop talking. Stop saying things. Just shut your mouth. Toes. God. You just stun toes out. I mean, a small glimmer of hope, at least he's on a show where he could actually beat the champion. Go ahead. There was no way he was ever going to beat Roman Reigns. True that. But if he goes heel, he could theoretically be. But he's already feuded with biggie. You're saying he'll never beat reigns because he beat reigns in a match, and they still didn't give him the title. 7. 8. Got some. Oh God. Wow, you tripped me. Wow. Yeah. Gosh. All right, round four. Raw drafts, the street profits, which was obvious 'cause Bel Air's on raw, so they like to keep the couples together. SmackDown drafts, the Viking raiders. And then raw drafts, Finn Balor. That's right. Finn Balor. With the 76th pick. Was drafted after Ballard was drafted after the Viking raiders. Three profits. Yes. Xia Lee. Yes. Shayna Baszler and Sheamus. Yeah. Great guy. Great call, guys. I mean Balor's just like seriously. Yeah. Your mother fuckers. Nobody wants this guy. Turn him he'll have him fight. And they've even said like the demons gonna go with him. I don't think that was the Finn Balor. Fake Balor's drafted to raw. The demons drafted to SmackDown. Right. After this, they tweeted. Finn Balor and the demon have been drafted to wrong. Jesus. Both of them. Just to let us know that he'll be the demon at some point soon again, I guess. I know. And then SmackDown takes ricochet. Like, why? Why even draft him at all? Right. That's like a team taking a kicker in the NFL in the third round. Like, you know, you can just kind of pick him up as a free agent later if you want him. Did you say the third round? Yeah, the jets took a kicker in the second round, and sure did 2005. How'd that work out? It was off the team in two years. A kicker in the second. This is what's missing. Yep. Imagine there's like, oh, I have an epiphany. Yeah. That was such a bad draft. All right, next up we have Natalia and Tamina versus Rhea Ripley and Nikki ass for the tag title. Jeez. Ripley puts Nikki on her shoulders and then drops her on Tamina for the win. That's the show. That's it. That's a show. That's the finisher. Holy fuck. Honda round 5 of the draft. Oh, please. Rock keeps the gimp, carrying cross. SmackDown takes care of and Garza. Sure. Well, I mean they lost Dominican rays, so not yet. Rock keeps the lexa bliss. Even though she's, you know, not really there right now. And SmackDown Keith Cesaro. All right. Next up, we have an in ring promo from Goldberg. Thank you, Corbin. All right. My God one more. I thought that was Homer. So old bird. That sounds like over like hitting himself over the head with an amber or something. Yeah. That was from the Corbin's TikTok video, which is so great. Oberg immediately calls out Lashley for fucking up his son at SummerSlam. Lashley comes out and again says what happened to your son? Was a misunderstanding. And I wanted apology. And this is, again, Goldberg's the face Lashley's the heel, but you can completely agree with Lashley here. Correct. He got jumped from behind, he thought it was a crazy fan. So he attacked him. Right. Like, this makes no sense. That we're like, well, no, Goldberg, you're overreacting. You know, this was it wasn't misunderstanding. It was, it was, you know? Yep. So lastly, tells Goldberg, I'll give you a match at Saudi mania, but it will be no holds barred. And then Goldberg dropped to his knees. I thought he was dying. But he says, thank you, Bobby. No holds barred gives me a license to kill. Right, so Goldberg's heel here because she's literally threatening to murder Lashley. Yeah. He says you're next and you're dead. Yeah. Yikes. And lastly says you can't kill the almighty. Yeah. You can let torque know that next time it won't be a misunderstanding. Yeah. So Bill, what would you do if someone came out to the ring and jumped on your back? Right. And lastly proves this point 'cause Cedric Alexander jumps on Goldberg's back and Shelton Benjamin's there too. But Goldberg quickly kills both of them and hit Shelton with a spear. So hypocrite. So at 10 p.m. eastern, you know, yeah. On this kid's show, someone is threatening to murder someone else. Yeah. Yeah. Good call. Good call. You know what they should have done is have Lashley like get some 15 year old kid to jump on Goldberg's back and then go back just fuck them up. He's like, you just murdered a child. Yeah. Thanks for going to jail. And Gobert's like, oh my God, last week you're right. I'm so sorry. Let's call off the Saudi match because no one wants to see it. Right, I'm sure there's a developmental talent. It looks 12. I mean, you could just save a Johnny Gargano. He was for sure. Easily clearly shaved it. Johnny's big call up. Just shave it up. Johnny scallop is that he's a 12 year old boy. Johnny no damn it. Ah, what a saying. Here's my scenario. You're 12, I quit. Exactly. Come to the ring with a lot of toys. Yeah. Kevin Patrick interviews Seth Rollins backstage, Patrick acts about edge, but Seth says, I'll handle edge on SmackDown. This is about raw and I don't give a shit who steps to me because I'm Seth, freaking Rollins. You want to know why Seth said the S word? 'cause during NXT last week, Ron breaker said, I don't give a shit. And then Seth tweeted, I guess we can say shit now. Very exciting. Hashtag shit. He put hashtag shit. Yeah. Well, I mean, come on, Seth. You don't remember the holy shit time. Yeah, that was an exception. Right. I guess USA doesn't care anymore. Holy shit. I mean, FX, they say fuck a lot. They do? Yeah. I think when they do it, they just have to like, you know, be like, all right, look, it was a one time thing. We're not going to do it again, but. Yeah. I mean, it is a kids show airing at 10 p.m.. I think it's also because, you know, AW, they get to say shit. Yeah. So why can't we? Right. And USA clearly wants help with the NXT ratings. My God. I mean, they won't help with all the ratings, but I hope I hope still wrestling in like 5 years when they just don't care what you say on TV anymore. You can say I'm Seth fucking Rollins. Yeah, I don't know if that's gonna happen, but they have like a live Nielsen. It's kind of like looks like a heartbeat and he goes, are you ready? Do it. Shit, and it goes. We gotta put that in. Everybody say shit from now on. Right. I mean, if they get sold to Netflix, they could, you know, say, fuck, they can say whatever they want. That's true. Wow. That'd be great. I hope HBO Max. We're gonna recut the live sex celebration. Next up we have the new day versus Cedric Alexander and Shelton Benjamin. So they just got murdered by Goldberg. Now they have to have a tag team match. Yeah, it makes sense. And Woods hits the flying elbow drop on Cedric for the win. And then Woods yells in the camera. Crown me. Crown me. Hell king Woods. He's better fucking. He's been advocating. He's been advocating for it for so long. I swear to God, he better win this thing. But they just gave The Crown to nakamura. Right. Yeah, but it wasn't from winning a tournament. That's true. Because no, shut up, Joe has a point, but he just he has a point. He just became the king. Yeah. Joe. We're going to take it away from him. In a couple of months whenever they're done with this term. Next week, qualifying. It's going to it's going to finish at Saudi mania. Finish there? Yeah. It's only three last two baths. Show them your point. See, here's the point. I'm just telling you. I'm not sure that nakamura is keeping The Crown either, but I just think it's silly that they would have nakamura win the crowd and then take it away from him two months later. I think it was not even give him The Crown. But yeah, that's totally evince thing. Vince would totally do that. You have a lot of buttons that would explain. That's Vince for you. Right. I'd rather have rather have a king that won the tournament though than nakamura's bullshit king. Well, sure. I think nakamura should definitely be in the tournament. Nakamura was basically legal theft. Maybe like nakamura can skip like, you know, get a buy. Just one bi week. Right. Not that it matters. But I don't have faith that Woods is winning this, Eric? He wants The Crown. Does Vince want him to have The Crown? No, we gave the belt to biggie. That's enough. Yeah. So, that's what you get. Yeah. And then after this match, the street profits come out. And they just hug Kofi and Woods. Oh. Hey, all right. I was like, if they haven't seen them, they just tagged with them on SmackDown. Well, now they're besties. Nasty. They just tag the other like, hey, remember us? Yeah, remember we worked together for a minute? Yeah. Now we're both we're trading shows. Now we're street day. Oh yeah yeah. And then I really thought they were gonna beat them up. Well, when they gave them the cup, like, oh yeah, drink. You always have a feel for that, but I was like, oh, they don't have the nuts to do that. No, no, no. Next up our bro comes out to the ring, Orton asks, will omas accept my challenge or be a big. Silent os come out, but it leads to a brawl and Orton gives styles and RKO because that style's job now is just to be the guy that eats an RKO. And then he and riddle leave before all must gets to them, so we don't have the match. I mean, actually started talking. No answer. He did, yeah. All right, round 6. Oh, wow. Broad drafts carmella and Corey graves is like. Yep. SmackDown selects ridge Holland from NXT. No, okay. Raw takes NCAA champion and Olympic gold medalist Gable Stevenson. Yeah. So straight to main roster. For a long time. He's a celebrity. They cut to Gable's house as if this were an NFL Draft as they celebrate with his family. It only could have been better if he either put on a raw hat or a raw T-shirt. Yeah, right? Of raw hat. Yeah. Do they make raw and SmackDown hats? I fucking hilarious. They probably. If they make the shirt, they definitely make that. Hold on, hold on, let me find out. Eric, you have a raw hat? No. I don't think they make it now. Probably not. And with the last pick of the 6th round. On your speed dial on your shut up. He hit W and it was like WWE shock. Really searching this. Ha, yeah. Raw hat raw hat. No. Oh, wow. Oh, that's it, bro no. What is that? Oh, hey bro. So with the last fix, SmackDown keeps Sami Zayn. Oh, what a huge surprise. Yeah. Who hasn't really been on the show much late? No. No. He beat up Dominic a few times. That's right he did. All right, okay. We don't care about the stupid hat. Shake your mouth. Oh, he should have put on the raw face mask. There you go. Yeah. Were there shorts? You should have just been weren't all that. Raw wife beater. Drink out of wrestling fans. But that says war so they can. Sit up and watch and run bitch. Yeah. All right, main event, we got Bianca Belair versus Charlotte Flair, once in a lifetime. No, I'm sorry, that's not no. Nope. I mean, by next week, it'll be a 7. Becky Lynch is uncommon again. Charlotte hits a nice spear, but Belair kicks out. Later Belair hits the KOD and goes for the pen, but Becky pulls her out of the ring. What is she care to help her? And attacks her for the DQ. Becky gives Bel Air, the Beck exploder on the barricade and then the manhandle slam in the ring. But then Sasha Banks attacks Becky from behind and gives her the backstabber banks stands tall. Yep. So after in blue, Saudi mania, it'll be Bel Air feeding with Charlotte and Sasha feuding with Becky. No, 'cause no, I'm sorry. Yeah. Bel Air's gonna keep feuding with Becky and then Charlotte's gonna feud with Sasha. I guess. Again, that was like 6 years ago. Sessions start winning it on SmackDown and then pay per view. Yeah. We've seen this show before, baby. All right, that's all for raw. I want to mention some notable draft results. We talked about unnoticable. Right. Liv Morgan, zelina Vega. Didn't even make the show. Ziggler and rude were moved to raw. There is staying on raw. While Mahal and shaky are moving to SmackDown, what's the point? Goofy one, right? They're putting him on his own? Yeah. He's the pitcher. Oh, here's the picture. Here's the picture. Oh, there's kind of all the goofy one. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, here was the one that had the stupid face. It was like, and then they split up shotzi and Knox, right. They're undefeated as a tag team. And they split them up. Yeah. Knox was drafted to raw. You know who else they split up? Yeah. Birds, birds. Yeah, they split up mason T bar. Maybe. They will see T bar Dominic T bar. I don't even care about it. We care. Yeah. But I want to see fucking T bar. We'll never see them again. They also split up Natalia and Tamina. So come on. How many women's tag teams are left? I like zero, right? None. I was like, no. Just the champions. Yes, that's it. Yeah. They're opening those titles for fucking ever. Wait, hold on a minute. There's gotta be it. There's not. There's not one, right? No. Hold up. They split up, Shayna, Naya. Yeah, that is gone. Just split up. Mandy and Dana are split up. Wait a minute. He's on NXT. Hold it shit. There's no. There are no other tag teams. There's no women's tag teams. Yeah. I guess they're gonna form like three next week. Right, for sure. I guess we're gonna see Natalia and shotzi. Yeah, probably. Pink and green. Vince is seeing this report, no. He goes oh God damn it, call the iconics. Like, I don't love shotzi and Knox, but like they at least had the tank thing. Yeah. What? They at least had the tank thing. That's where we're at with something. I'm just saying like they had it they had a gimmick, right? They weren't awful. Sure. Apparently, I don't know if you have it Mia yim was drafted to raw. She did so good on SmackDown. She was traded to SmackDown like 6 months ago. Never saw her once. No, that's hilarious. And then Aaliyah was called up for NXT and drafted the SmackDown. I thought that had already happened, but whatever. Vince, you know, once a piece of dead ass. You sure does. All right, on to awards. Yeah. Okay. Who did you have for worst dress? Oh no. I had carmela with her mask, okay? I had the plastic queen, Charlotte Flair. Okay. I had Corbin and Riddick. All right. He's not Riddick. You can't say that anymore. Not gap. Madcap moss. Get it right. Best dressed. So I should be such a banks on raw specifically. Yes. Worst acting, Goldberg. Oh, yeah. I have to go Goldberg. It's a rule of mine. It is sweet, but I put Sony to Bill at first because she was really bad. She was just like SmackDown selects. Yeah. Roman Reigns, you know. Right. The best acting. I had Becky Lynch. I had Becky. Just both good on both shows. I had Paul Heyman again. Okay. Worst comment? Okay, so mine when Corbin hit end of days on the what? Yeah, good. He hit it and Michael Cole goes end of days or should we call it happy days? Oh my God. All right. Happy Corbin. Yeah. Jesus. Right? I forgot about that, Eric. Yeah. And he reminded me. You're welcome. I hate you. Yeah. I had suplex suplexes. And I had madcap moss with the joke joke joke. Okay. Best comment? I know how a triple threat match works. Michael? Yes. Yeah. I'm gonna throw in the exact the Xavier Woods was never would have never been born or whatever. That was good. Worse match. Shane and Dana. Yep. Yeah. So, sleep it. Sweep it. Wait a minute. Super slo-mo match. The 8 man tag match on SmackDown? As a slower one, I had the women's tag title match tag title. And then best match? Who are you? Thank you. Thank you. Yep. That might win like the award when we do end of year. Yeah, sure. And I think a couple of those one last year. We're smooth. We had Nicky's finisher. I had Goldberg spear. I had drafting AJ in a tag team. Sure. Worst move. Best move. I had the I had Becky leaning on Bianca's hair. I thought that was original. 'cause no one's ever really used that against her. Xavier's elbow drop. Oh yeah. Sold. Yeah, right. Worse moment, Goldberg. All the traffics. Goldberg. Yes, your honor. I mean, whatever. And then best moment or segment. I guess rain's Lester? Yeah. Sure, I guess. Sure. If it wasn't that, it was nothing. Correct. Yeah. Yeah. All right, on to breaking news. Well shit, we already kind of talked about it earlier. But yeah, during SmackDown WWE announced The Return of the King of the ring tournament and the debut of queens crown. Both tournaments begin this Friday on SmackDown. So there's gonna be a queen of the ring. I guess queen's crown, but apparently both will be decided the finals will be a Saudi mania. Yeah. They're gonna love that. So multiple women's matches. What did you say? Well, you mean multiple murders? Right. Do you have any other news? 'cause I didn't see him. The only thing that I saw was on fightful. According to biggie legal WWE legal would not clear big meaty men slapping meat merchandise. Okay. 'cause I would buy that. I guess that makes sense. Yeah. Big meaty men. Slapping meat. Yeah. Slapping the meat. He's also said bumping meat before. Yeah, that was the original quote. Yes. Big meaty man bumping meat. Bumping me. Yeah. All right, on top of rumors. Rumors. Kevin Owens wins back the universal title? Maybe. Bellar club to finally get a second member? Brock Lesnar willingly works a full schedule? No chance. Next year's WrestleMania will be in Saudi Arabia. Converse. So Brian Alvarez of Wrestling Observer says he's under the impression that Bray Wyatt is not signing with AEW. He's most likely to sign with Impact Wrestling. That will be a huge disappointment if true. Yes. Man, that was very much so. That was really suck. Man, I hope that's not true. Dear God, no. Also, talk sports reports that WWE is planning to hold SummerSlam in the UK next year. Yeah. Likely at Cardiff's principality stadium, which has a capacity of 75,000. 'cause it's like the 20th anniversary of when they did SummerSlam. Or no, 30th. 30th, yeah, because it's gonna be 30th. So that'll be interesting. Where are we going to fuck off? Road trip. Yeah. We're going to get on a boat. Road trip. Wrestling Inc reported that Fox specifically asked for Charlotte Flair to be drafted to SmackDown. Odd. They just know she's a ratings booster. Yeah. She brings the smoke. And then fightful reports that some people at USA Network are tired of WWE using scapegoats and shortcuts in response to raw's declining ratings, such as the brand to brand invitationals and raw underground. The network cares more about seeing the consistent quality of the show improve. Imagine that. Confirm. We don't like to see that too. Yes. Very much so. Yeah. 'cause that's how you actually get ratings. But making the show good. You make us want to watch it. Exactly. But that is all we got for rumors. Do you think USA would drop them? Well, if there's gotta be something in the contract that says they can't. Right. You know? But contract for. 5 years. So there's three more years. Fuck, I mean, do you think in three more years for USA and Fox? 'cause like you would think Fox would have dropped some act down by now. For real. Because they were expecting double the numbers. Yeah, that they're getting. They're expecting like 4 million. Yeah. Well, once you go on network, you're ratings are going to increase, right? Because that's like millions and millions and millions of more customers that can watch the show. It's like, oh, it's trash? No, I don't want to watch it. You know. So, I mean, yeah, I think when the contracts are up and what 2024, you know, Fox might not want to re sign USA might not. Well, USA tends to always resign. I mean, but USA's sharing NXT and raw. I mean, right. But they might not also get as much money as they did with this last contract. Right. You know? But yeah, there's no way SmackDown is on Fox. After, you know, 2024. There's no way. Like maybe they're like, oh, we'll put you on FS1. There's no way SmackDown is on Fox. Yeah. Once this contract ends. Not a chance. So yeah, that's all for rumors. It's trivia time. Trivia. I'm trying to confirm this one really quick, so I thought it was an interesting question. Maybe you guys can help me confirm it. So I'm going to ask it first and then you guys can tell me. Not including dark matches, obviously, who are the only main roster superstar to be undefeated in 2021. I don't know dark matches. Yeah, 'cause people lose them. Yeah, it's just. So they're undefeated this whole year. Yeah. Becky Lynch. Right, that's correct. Was that really the answer you found? Yeah, that is the answer I found. And if you take out dark matches, when she does what, she's had two matches. Well, when Sasha interfered, they called it a no contest, 'cause she technically attacked Bianca first and then she hit both people the official thing was no contest. Right. Yeah, Becky's only had two matches. Yeah. 'cause even Roman lost in tag team. The bloodline lost, I think the SmackDown before the match with edge. Okay. He didn't take the pain, obviously, you know. Yeah. But yeah. All right. Yeah. All right, fan questions. Here we go. Let's do it. Pop culture junkie, some people may say this year's WWE draft was a waste of time. Some say, an incredible waste of time. However, I say forget wasting 5 pointless hours of your life and instead, spend an hour on the what's wrong with wrestling best ass bracket. Exclusively on Patreon. Done. Great question. What a great question. Great question. Justin Stewart, do you guys have an unpopular wrestling opinions or hot takes? That would get some criticism. I mean, no, 'cause all of our opinions are correct. Yeah. I mean, 7 years of this podcast, you could probably find some, but none come to the top of my head. I know what he did was horrible, but I still think Chris Benoit was a great wrestler. And I would say mine's probably the opposite before we found out all about that. I just never thought of him as a good wrestler at all. And I always knew that one day he was going to murder his family. I should have said something. That is the hottest. Andrew, you should have said something. Yeah. Matt Matt Damon. Let's all try and be serious here for a minute. Fuck marry kill. Okay, fuck. Waffles, pancakes, French toast. Okay, okay. I think I'm gonna kill French toast because nothing is waffles and pancakes. I'm gonna like it. You're not gonna kill French toast? I'm gonna fuck French toast. Man, I'm gonna marry waffles and I'm gonna kill pancakes. All right, I'm gonna marry waffles as well. Yeah. I love waffles. I love waffles. I'm a fuck me some pancakes. Yeah. I'm on a fucking pancakes. I hop better watch out. Same for me, I'm gonna marry waffles, fuck pancakes. Oh, maybe I should fuck waffles 'cause like during COVID, I did DoorDash like a Belgian waffle and it arrives. I opened it and it looked like it. No, it looked like someone had sex with the waffle. Dude, it was so no, this was Uber eats. So I took a picture. Everyone that follows them on Twitch knows this, but I do. I'll show you later. But I took a picture of the waffle and then I sent it to Uber eats complaining and they said, why are you complaining? And I said, it looks like someone fucked my waffle. I don't like what people might want to wear. I use those exact words. You should have been like, does anyone know where Jason Biggs is right now? I got the entire meal for free. Including my son's Leo's part is like, yeah, it looks like someone fucked my waffle. Even my son, my 5 year old son said, it looked like someone fucked that waffle. Hey man, I mean, I'm still ate it, but like, you know, just look kind of weird. Out of all the Uber drivers. All of them ever? Yeah. I'm sure someone fucked the waffle. You know what I mean? It's probably that. This is probably thank you. Thank you for getting us. Waffles. On my Twitch channel, which, you know, I haven't done Twitch in a while, but you know, if you subscribe, you make emojis and stuff. One of the emojis I made it, the actual waffle. Like the picture I took of the waffle. People would just be like pressing the waffle emoji. Yeah, nice. Charlie McKenna, would you rather Batista bomb a butt naked Eric? This guy? Yeah, I guess. Or tombstone a butt naked Josh. Come on. I mean, I guess the Batista. Y'all go with three. Kill myself. Andrew, and I'd rather have Eric's cock in my face than Josh's. Thank you. That means two stones like a 69. You're welcome. Right. Because he may be trying to dangle around your meat. I just met, I don't know, Josh, just seems a lot sweatier. You have a Josh might actually like, you know, take care of me while I'm too starting him. So I might go with Josh. Oh, you're naked too in this fantasy. Oh, we're not? Oh God. Where did I just go? Downtown. The Simon system works. When are we getting a 24 7 champions contender match? Probably Kevin Owens into that one. Yeah, I think so. That would be the ultimate fuck you. Yeah. Tobin, just listen to Hollywood hogwash and I'm surprised you guys didn't do awards after the review. Well, maybe we should. We joke to me. Maybe we should. I mean, we're not gonna do as many as because we know it's not gonna be worse match. No worse man. Super slow match with a carnage venom. Carnage venom. This match, who are you? I gotta be in the fucking theater like hold on. I know my phone's on. Fuck you. Best. Well, we can do like worst acting best acting. To do best and worst case. Discuss it openly. Best and worst moment, you know, not that many, but that would be fun. Yeah, thanks Tobin, more work. Appreciate it. Best acting works acting, best moment worst moment. Yeah. The comments. Ran the man, KO, man. Almost there. Yeah, someone posted like, I think it was Kevin Owens coming out last week. And he just comes out and he's just like rolling his neck back like, oh, God. And someone was just like four more months four more months. Yeah. It reminds me of like when EC3 was just ready to go. And he's like, oh my God. That was so funny. See? Three. And then he does his turn. 'cause his turn used to be so dramatic, he'd be like, and then he was just like, now remember the last I think the last time we shot, he was like, yeah. Right. Yeah. Like, didn't care at all. Sahem ramen, why was breath Phoenix and the kids at a grocery store at 9 o'clock on a Friday night? Instead of watching her husband and the father of her children on live TV. 'cause they know. They know the show sucks too. Same reason Roman. Yeah. You know. 6 stars 89 with few NXT talents called up to the main roster. Which one of them will do well and which one won't do so well. Rich Holland will do well, Zai Lee won't even show up. Exactly. Wow. Yeah. Brandon mcdaniel are they really paying Goldberg $3 million with that quality of promo skills? Jesus, he actually said he's going to leave his lifeless body gasping for air, what the fuck? Yeah. He was referring to himself after having Goldberg's the number one suspect. Well, yeah, that's what happened with the undertaker match because it's outside. You know, a 1000° there. Oh yeah, let's do a 25 minute match with Goldberg. Good call. Quick question. How long do we think it takes before all of hero is chasing the 24? Two weeks. Well, they have to be traded to raw first. Oh yeah. Yeah. Why? It'll be on both shows. They rarely have it on SmackDown because it was USA's idea to have the 21st century. That's why the 24 7 champion always stays on raw. There you go. Donald Alexander, what did Bobby Roode and Ziggler do to deserve jobber status? Existed. The government. No, they got over. That's it. They got over. That's right. Without my approval. Shaky. Why did Adam Pearce look at every draft note card like he had no idea how to read whatever what was written on it because he probably can't it look like Josh Reese reading his note. Sonya DeVille was under acting and pierce was like over after. He'd be like, he'd be like, SmackDown selects. Roman Reigns, the silence. No shit of your mouth movements right that perfect. Yeah. Like Jesus say something at him. Oh my God. I guarantee you on that to make sure you're not sucking. Oh God, damn it, Eric. Every week some asshole post WWW out of context videos and it's usually one of us like pretend to suck a dick. Yeah. That's it. There's your cut this week. I'm not doing it. Hey, Eric. Oh, in your face, right in your mouth. Hey, you guys. You guys made the sound, not me, so I'm gonna make my own soundboard with both of you. Open that up. Good. How's this for out of context? You fuck. All right, Angelo boniello. With yet another week of using Kevin Owens. Did you see KO's face after the senators as allergies? This is how I envisioned Owens to Tony Khan immediately after his contract expires. Oh. Hold on. There's a picture or a video. If I could pull it up real quick. The best of both. What happens first? Andrew pulls it up or jump pulls it out. Here Eric, here's one for you. I'm not getting out of context. That'll be Kevin Owens. Yeah. Mick lockier, push barberry, post draft tag team combos. Jeff Hardy and ricochet, Cesaro and Seamus, that's the fire. And Kevin Owens an edge. That's the push. Obviously push that berry hardy and ricochet. Right. Ben van D, what was worse, Becky Lynch on commentary or Gable Stevenson's live reaction being drafted. I like Becky. Yeah. So definitely Stevenson live reaction. Rated R KO would be back. Putting it. Wow. Wow. I want that shirt already. Yeah, right. Rated RK bro it's a stable. Oh no. Hey Randy and edge. Or he tries to do he's like edge. Anthony Smith, Anthony Schmidt, which of the active former king of the rings would you least mind seeing when it for a second time Corbin Seamus Lesnar edge? Least Corbin. Corbin to do it again. Right. I mean, Seamus maybe edges out Corbin, but it's either Corbin or Sheamus, one of them. I don't want to see Sheamus. Jason dear him. So it's pretty obvious right. Gable Stevenson's gonna turn out to be Kurt Angle's son. Obviously. Someone said that on Twitter and Stevenson laughed at it. Like, you know, 'cause it would have been perfect if they made Chad Gable Kurt son instead of Jason Jordan so they could say Stevenson was named after his older brother. There you go. His last name, right? They made his last name his first name. Yeah. Carlos Ramirez is Sonya DeVille racist and is Naomi homophobic. Yup. Wow. Yeah, that's the problems they have with each other, I guess. Keith Hoffman one episode of Hollywood hogwash and there's already an ultimate alliance reference. What a fucking show well done guys. Thanks. You're welcome. Mister slap nuts. I'm no WWE shill, so don't hate me, but I personally like the bear cat nickname. Quick as a cat, strong as a bear. I think that would work for him if Lee could actually get a push. Also the animal known as bear cat smells like popcorn in real life. Did not know that. That's funny. Wow, okay. Hey, look, if they turn him heel and make him aggressive as shit and like really push him, I'd be up for it. Even if they don't. Yeah. Amir got to say it was cool not seeing Joe explode out of anger in the start of the show in Hollywood hogwash. It was a nice change of pace. Yeah. Excited. Happy. Eric, who would you make a better long-term women's champion or who would make a better long-term women's champion, live Morgan or zelina Vega? Vega. She's better on the mic. She is. Liv Morgan's better in the ring. Vegas has been on the mic. And she's still decent in the ring. Hey, that'd be a pretty good feud if yes, well, they already kind of did fuse. And they ruined it. Yeah, that is all for fan questions. So make sure you subscribe to our podcast. Give us a 5 star review. Check out our official website. What's wrong with wrestling dot com like the show on Facebook? Follow us on Twitter and Instagram at wrong wrestling. Get a T-shirt at pro wrestling tees dot com slash what's wrong with wrestling. Become a supporter of the show at Patreon dot com slash what's wrong with wrestling $5 a month gets you everything . We got NXT aw recaps, pay per view recaps all the brackets like best ass dance. Worst promo brackets coming soon. Part two, all that good stuff. Escape the undertaker. Let's keep the other digger, the movie, starting me undertaker. No, Sean, you're not undertaker. Sorry. And then also, subscribe to our new podcast, Hollywood hogwash available on the same app, you're listening to us right now. Yeah. The first episode is already out. It dropped Monday, October 4th. Yes. We reviewed Venom: Let There Be Carnage. We talked about what if. Squid game. So go check it out. Slightly squid game. Hollywood hogwash. Yeah. Like it share it, give it 5 seconds. Like it fuck it, marry it and fuck it. Don't kill it. Yeah. Okay. He sounds like snowball team. That's crazy loud. No doubt that's Joe. Self proclaimed. Really holding his piss. You made hashtag push air gallow push him. Josh, he's just a troll. Sign up for win bet sportsbook at Wynn and bet dot com today using promo code blue wire to get up to $1000 toward a risk free sports bet. Offers up to change turns in addition to win bet dot com, be 21 or older and present in the state where play through Windows available. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem called 105 two two four 7 zero zero