9 Burst results for "Kristen. Nef"
"kristen. nef" Discussed on The Psychology Podcast with Scott Barry Kaufman
"Okay this will be okay to this will pass. Is there common things people say. Did it will eventually pass eventually received into the back on. It will be okay confidence coping. You say you know you know you can do these kinds of things so you know you'll find a way to do this Challenge appraisal you know. We might say so. What really is the challenger. What do i need to do the same i think. That sort of bleeds into the flexibility secrets. The self-talk for the flexibility sequence might be like for the context sensitivity is is kind of what i just challenge appraisal. What's happening. What do i need to do. What is it that's bothering so much need bothering me so much. End the flexibility sequence. I'm sorry the part is what am i able to do. What am i good at. What can i can. I use here. That i naval to do and in the last part really the feedback partner car weeks. Decide how it's working is. Basically simple is is work is does. This seemed like is the problem. Still there i do in those you know. In in the book i listed a chart of these are basic self talk for these sequences of flexibility mindset. Nfu other examples. any i suggest people can make their own if they're comfortable with these and of course there's another kind that ethan crosses a lot of work on on what's called this itself talker objective south and then in that case you talking to third person. Use your name so you might say you might say for example. No scott you can do this or you know scott. You've done this before you know you can do this. You know things like that and that's very effective. Actually yeah. I think that relates to like kristen. Nef's research himself compassion. She often says. Treat yourself you know Like you treat a friend and say it'd be like scott like i love you. You know you can do this. And i think also when you speak in by self-serve person. There was a certain kind of you can applaud yourself much more easily in a sense or or or remind yourself that you can do things you have done good at some some things you know for sure. Are there any other era tips for being able to boost your flexibility mindset. And you're the the whole sequence that you're talking about Other than self talk and what you've talked about already. Well i think one of the things. We learned that we haven't used this whole thing in any kind of training intervention yet. Although some colleagues of mine have mentioned that the kind of loose weight one of my colleagues when they who's in the book talk about her. She's a. She's a really really terribly talented inclination. She's really good and she works with people under great duress in. She has been experimenting with trying to talking about the flexibility secrets primarily and You know having people step back a little bit and think about the sequence again you know. It's it's really focusing was happening in the moment rather than the whole in a broad spectrum which is often looks really bad the people instead of focusing on the moment where you can actually do before you know it. You've actually gone through a lot of the pieces that will make it so it won't be so So i think you know when i think of insight she had was when you're right in the middle of something really really difficult. It's a little harder to develop improve any of these skills and think of them as skills. So i think it would be really a really a very.
"kristen. nef" Discussed on Building Psychological Strength
"If you like this topic. I've got a few digital resources to help you go a bit deeper. All of which are linked in this episode description and on the show notes page for this episode. so way back in the podcast. Fault is an amazing episode. I did with my own personal coach. Someone i'm working with right now. A woman by the name of shannon shutler and if there's someone who is an absolute pro at helping people develop a good relationship with themselves. It's her. I mean in the work that i'm doing with her right now. We're spending a lot of time helping me develop self awareness. When is my mind and my body telling me that. I need something or that. I've been ignoring it for too long. And what is that need. It's been incredible and transformative so if you're interested in more self awareness self leadership all of that. Check out her episode. It's episode number one thirty six and it is a truly impactful episode. You'll love it and you'll love meeting shannon if you're really ready to support yourself another resource we have for you. You might love our mini course self-care by design. It's only twenty nine bucks on our website for lifetime access and it uses life design to help you create a custom effective guilt free self-care routine you can go to peak mind. Psychology dot com backslash self-care to learn more about it or again it's linked in this episode description and on the show notes page and finally. I would really be missing the mark. If i didn't tell you about dr kristen. Nef's work on self compassion dot org. Dr neff is head and shoulders of by far and away the most well known and well published expert on self compassion and there is so much information for free on her website. You have to check it out if this is a topic. You're interested in or something that you want to cultivate for yourself. You have to check out her website. It is just a wealth of information. Okay friends so. I hope you enjoyed this episode. And if you did please consider leaving a rating or review on itunes or sending this episode to someone you love. Ps if someone sent this to you it probably means that they think the world of you and finally let's remember that time is the most non renewable resource on the planet. And i'm grateful to each and every one of you who chose to spend some of your precious time with me today. I'm dr april seifert. And i will see you next week..
"kristen. nef" Discussed on 10% Happier with Dan Harris
"Of thinking happening right and then of course that doesn't make it stop. Unfortunately we wish right if we could do that so we can. So but what we can do. In that moment we come back to one of our senses. That is a good inker for us. For example that could be the breath could be your feet on the floor right. It could be just like you. Orienting yourself in the room and said oh. I'm in this room right now. So the brain has limited attention span. Part of how meditation works. Is that we for once. Decide how we wanna fill that attention span. If we're not doing that the mind we'll do that for us. And it will fill it with all kinds of crap honest right so we asked again be horsing is like thank you not helpful right now right but who is saying what the mind is actually filled with and so as a meditative or like using his practices. We can say okay. I feel was was the awareness of my breath right now and then i cannot at the same time. Pay full attention to my thoughts in few my breath. I can do either at work or do you both like half but not really and that is also of course part of the practice. So there's a little bit like. I might like bite my arm a little bit when i'm getting shot. Fill my mind with one kind of pain. That i'm comfortable with it. I'm controlling on my own. So that the involuntary pain control by somebody else is less salient. Yeah you choose but the thing is so a lot of what's going on here. What is so scary that it feels like this assault befall control and i think one of the great benefits of meditation is. We are taking back control by choosing how we relate to it. Would you say that from a meditative perspective and this might be tough for some people to hear that pain is an opportunity -absolutely and it comes back to this like shoumei. The person who's never had paint. Show me the person who will never have pain so be the human body. Pain isn't essential function of our bodies to keep us safe. And then we have this thing happening that we call aging which we have to learn to come to terms with and we don't like to hear that and we don't like to practice with that but the more we can actually say like pain is part of life and not. Take it so personally coming back to this. Like what do i identify with right. Do identify with this person. That is in pain. And how unfair that is and all the mistakes that have been made right which is part of how the brain tries to make sense of it and that is also part of like we can release. Switch to saying like yeah. Pain is a part of life and since that will be part of my life experience. I can choose. Hi wanna work with said in how i relate to that and i really don't want to say that lightly because i know a lot of people really have excruciating physical pain so this is not like an easy easy fix with just to put a fine point on it when you say that meditation helps us relate to our pain differently how does it help us relate to pain we learn to not take it so personally so if this is just like oh this is what a body feels like that experiences. This particular pain to compare this is cristiano. Who has this pain. Because i had this accident because stupid driver didn't pay attention by so you can see how like the whole nervous system starts to get activated against through the story right said i gather this is pain and this is pain in this moment. This is what it feels like and the other part is which is really really important for people who suffer from pain or chronic pain is self compassion here. I just acknowledged that right now. This is hard. This is a hard moment right now and chew buy in. This is again the difference between self compassion and self pity that self. Pity is all about me and why it shouldn't be happening to me and self compassion is in opening up to like. Yep this is part of the human experience. And i can connect in my mind in my heart with all the other people who are experiencing exactly the same thing right now and in a weird way. That is really helpful. Can you get more technical or granular about how we can bring self compassion to our meditative game. When pain is their chronic or otherwise. Yeah again night. Kristen nef's three-part model of like self compassion. So the parts of like as a researcher that she has like broken down the experience of self compassion into mindfulness self kindness and shared humanity. So mindfulness same thing so what we just said is like kenya. Become aware that there's pain huge step which is really hard to get to that. Like i will off my walk around like for days before like something says. Wait a second. I'll that remark did have an effect on me for example because i'm trying to avoid pain this about like emotional pain right. Same with with physical So awareness this is here and then what we say is. Can we just acknowledge this in kim. We acknowledge that with the intention of kindness or we say like the tone of voice right so what we would say is an we often well like place ahead on the heart or on the part. That is painful inside like this really hurts. This is the moment of struggle in just in that way. That often what happens. Here's what we want is like. We wanted to be acknowledged that way and like a friend would do that in a way a friend would say you really. You have a hard time right now. Right and then something goes i e s. Thank you for seeing right in something softens and we forget that we can actually do that for ourselves. Yeah there's pain yes. this is true. Not avoiding just looking at it directly but with kindness and then so that's the self kindness and then really opening into this is what it feels like for somebody in my situation to feel that pain and then we can make internally in genetically however that works for you connect with the other people that have that same experience they know what it feels like mate and this is really the power of support groups. Where like somebody else looks at you and says i meet you. Get what you're going through right and it does something to our nervous systems also in this kind of self talk kinder self talk. I haven't been to. When i first encountered this notion. I struggled with it a lot. Just because seen corny to me a lot of people really like it so. I want to acknowledge that but for me. She's a little corny. But i've been able to. I get over myself and do it. Because they're scientific. Research strongly suggests at work. And i'm just. I'd like to suffer less. I'll take evidence based practices but part of being able getting over myself to do it. is not only just seeing the research but also adapting the language. You can make the language around so for me. It's more like row your language like this. You know what. I would say to a guy friend who broke a leg great. Yes and it's really in the translation right if the word stone land try different words or if language doesn't work try a gesture right. This is really why really love to work with Physical touch right because there's so much research showing somebody holds your hand when you're going through painful procedure that makes your pain level. Drop so if you a really in pain and you get a hug from a friend that makes you love drop and so we're making this jump in. I know this is like totally cornyn. I work at the. Va a lot right. So they're like some tough guy so we have to find some language instead of cycle so soothing.
The Difference Between Fierce and Tender Self-Compassion With Author Kristin Neff
"Kristin neff. Thanks for coming back on the show. Thanks for having me dallas. Love talking with you. Yes you are. One of my favorite guests in your work has had a significant impact on me. So it's great. Have you back on the show. So let's talk definition for a second. What is the difference in your mind between fierce self compassion and tender self compassion self compassion. Has i call it. A yin a yang aspect right. So there's a way in which self compassion just allows us to accept ourselves with kindness and warmth. It's more of a gentle nurturing energy. The type of energy apparent might have for their child who in the can screaming their head off but apparent loves that child unconditionally. Accept some as they are. and so. that's part of self compassion wheat heavily. Hold ourselves. we hold our pay more nurturing. More warmer understanding but compassion in the broader sense is about alleviating suffering right that really defines what compassion is concerned with alleviating suffering. And although we may need to accept our cells sometimes. We don't want to accept our behaviors or we don't want to accept a situation we're in that's causing harm and that's where fear self compassion comes in fear. Self compassion is the action oriented side of compassion as opposed to just accepting side we ourselves. Hey this this behavior. Doing it's not working for you. You know you need to change it because it's causing you harm or it might be. Hey i want to encourage you to try this new thing or to reach your goals or motivate change. Because i care about you. And i want you to be happy or in terms of situations it might be a kind of like call mama bear self compassion right that protective side of self compassion and says hey you crossing boundaries is not okay. What you're doing. You're treating me unfairly. So for example. I see the black lives matter. Movement served the metoo movement as self compact fear self compassion movements as people. Rise up. Feel empowered to say. Hey that's not okay. You're harming me so a lot of it is where the compassion is aimed and we need both in order to be healthy and whole.
Harnessing Fierce Self Compassion with Author Kristin Neff
"Kristen. Thanks for being untangled. Today it's great to have you with us again. Oh thanks patricia. I'm really happy to be here. Yes your new book just came out. When did it come out. Actually yesterday on the so excited that i got to read it. It is so good. And let's just start by talking about why he decided to write this book. You've been a compassion. Pioneer and self compassion warrior and. This book has a little bit of a different twist to it. And i'm just curious as to why you decided to write. This one is a couple of reasons. So it's about the fear side of self compassion in addition to tender more nurturing side. It's about being able to speak up. Stand up for yourself. Meet your needs motivate change and first of all in the last ten years or so. When i've been really teaching people about self compassion. I realized that people had a very one-sided view of it they thought self compassion was only about self acceptance and soothing and comforting and there was this misperception that somehow self compassion is gonna undermine your ability to motivate. Change your to seek up or to do something about your life. They thought it was all about acceptance. So part of it was just decrypt. Misperception to let people know about the fear side of self compassion. I liked joke that tender self compassion as like a mother. Just unconditionally loves her child. Even wintershall screaming at off just love and soothe and care for our child but this also like mama bear so protecting her cobs are saying. Okay time for you to leave the dan or maybe hunting for miles. If i'm fish feed them. All of those are really important. Part of self compassion that mama bear side which we can also turn inward is exclusively for women in particular we haven't done before it's all been gender neutral is because women's fierceness socialized out of them we're told to be helpful and say yes to everyone into gear brown needs in a way that men are. So that's why. I wrote the book particularly for women. I was definitely ask that question. And i want to dive a little deeper into that. But why do you think you chose the word fierce. I love the word. Fierce is not the only one who uses it. a lot of people do and essential steam. Because they're called the translations now not all languages have an analogous word because fierce connotes bravery and courage and that warrior energy but as a positive word as opposed to something like aggressive which is negative connotations. And that's why i like fierce because again it's like fierce mama bear that warrior energy can come from a place of love in terms of the service of protection and reducing harm and just seemed to fit that really well.
"kristen. nef" Discussed on Velvet's Edge
"To that point where we only know who we are and then we love ourselves but also leader set about accepting yourself. Reagan accept others if also self compassion is a big part of recovery. So i also recommend dr kristen. Nef's work as she wrote the book. Self compassion and she has a new book called radical self compassion. And it's a mindfulness self compassionate. Mindfulness exercise And if you can start a self compassion practice things will start to shift because it literally changes the brain and then you can start having compassion for yourself and again i would like to save. The world will start getting up. Where can people you. Well my practices. In austin okay and i actually a moving away from individual work but i am working toward offering intensity. You're in austin so we can intensive and i do believe one on one therapy weekly. That's great But i also think that intensive work especially when you're doing addiction independence and family of origin trauma Intensive can intensive were can take therapy to a whole another level. Yeah So i'm also instagram. At jodi white lpc. I have the podcast profile which is at journals of love addict. And i think that's right now. Okay so jodie is j. o. d. i that out to people. Also what can we look forward to on the podcasts. Always like what's going to come out next. The next i now i know i have a couple of things planned so one of the things i have in mind is that you know my partner and i we've been together. Let's see five over five five years. Yeah actually is the one. We broke up after a few months of being together. And that is what sent me into recovery. And then we took time apart. We did no contact. I had no plans of getting back together with him. And yet we got back together about six months after we broke up and He has been pivotal in my recovery. He is also done his own work. And so. I have an idea to have him on the podcasts and talk about his perspective of how. At our time break-up he was more love avoidance. What he was going through. And then what. I was going through and.
The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
"Welcome to untangle so happy to have you here today. Thank you pitcher. Share happy to be here. The i love your work. You've done such incredible stuff. And i just for our audience. I just think this first paragraph in your book was so interesting it starts like this in this incredibly competitive society of ours. How many of us truly feel good about ourselves. It seems like such a fleeting thing feeling good especially as we need to feel special or above average to feel worthy anything else. Seems like a failure. Tell me a little bit about that. And what led you to really do this. Work on self compassion. Yes so i started practicing self compassion. When i started learning mindfulness actually my last year in graduate school. Uc berkeley a man. I did two years post doctoral. Study with one of the country's leading self esteem racers. And i started really becoming familiar with all the research. Showing the downsides of self esteem. It's not a downside of having high self esteem but of pursuing it trying to get it the shenanigans. We go through trying to go good about ourselves compared to others and so i kind of thought that was practicing self compassion and seeing the incredible benefits my personal life and i just thought this is such a healthier way to think about. How did we late yourself. Positively themselves esteem. so that's kind of really would give me the. You might say that confidence to actually start researching self passion. But what's wrong with self esteem. So many parents today want their children to have self esteem and self competence. Tell us a little bit about the difference between self esteem and self compassion right. So there's absolutely nothing wrong with self esteem feeling. You're a person of worth in value. And we definitely want people have a sense of high worth as opposed to 'having themselves and and that's the wellbeing goes about question really. The problem is how people go about getting their high self esteem so for most people s steam involves a process of social comparison. Right so i mean again. If i said patricia your podcast yet savage. How would you feel. You probably feel good about that. Evaluation right asked this kind of the way. The system is stacked against us. We all have to feel average at least in those areas that are important to us to feel like that's just like baseline minimum self esteem. And so we're always comparing ourselves to others. If someone else does something better than we do. We often feel inadequate comparison. The really big problem with self esteem. as it tends to be contingent in other words we only have self esteem roomy succeed. We lose it when we fail so when things are going well for sure we lacquer cells we feel we have value but what happens when we fail. We blow that big job assignment or get rejected soon as fail ourselves esteemed desserts us which is actually precisely when we need that. Self confidence. The most self compassion. It's not about judging yourself positively. It's not saying. I'm a good person. Or i'm better than other people i most great is just about relating to yourself kindly so there is a sense of self worth inheritance self compassion but self worth comes from just being a glide human being where the like all other flawed human beings as opposed in necessarily succeeding or on being better than others. So you're done research showing the sense of self worth linked to self compassion as much more stable over time than just a simple self-worth judging yourself positively but how did we get in this culture to a place where we are so critical of ourselves and where we need to study something like self compassion where it's not a natural characteristic. I'm not convinced that it's just a western cultural phenomena. I mean i think definitely hard in the west because there's so much pressure to compete and succeed. Same thing in east asian cultures with as a lot of pressure to succeed and compete. But i also think there are some natural reasons while we tend to our jump to solve criticism immediately a mess. Basically that when we feel inadequate in some way or we fail at something we feel threatened and when we feel threatened we naturally have the threat. Defense response right. We want to attack the situation. Get rid of the problems of. You'll safe again. Unfortunately when the problem is ourselves when we attack the threat we actually attack ourselves. So i really do. Think at some level our tendency to to be self-critical is really desire to keep ourselves safe.
Kryptonite for the Inner Critic With Kristin Neff
"Nice to sue they you for doing this. I've been wanting to talk to you for a while. Actually because i've actually writing a book about kindness right now and i wanna do a chapter about self compassion. So you are the you are the leading experts so before we get to sell compassion. Though i wanna. I wanna hear how you got interested in meditation in the first place right so It was my last year graduate school. I was finishing up my phd at berkeley and basically my life was a mess. I'd gotten out of a divorce. It was a very messy divorce. I was feeling a lot of shame. I'm and i was also feeling a lot of stress not so much about what i finish my phd. But more after seven years of my life. When i get a job the job market was really tight. And so i thought you know. Well i've heard that meditation is is good for stress in berkeley. So right down. The street from me was a meditation group. I was lucky every right down every street. Yeah in berkeley so that you know on every corner but luckily the one. I chose to go to The woman leaving the group it was actually a tick not han sanga reason. It's important is because some meditation teachers. Mindfulness bennett teachers wouldn't necessarily talk about self compassion tic time one thing that's unique about him. He's really emphasizes heart qualities of practice. Vietnamese zen master doesn't talk a lot about compassion. Full stop is but he does in particular right and so i started in his tradition And the very the very first night. I went the woman talked about having compassion for yourself the needed to actively cultivate compassion for yourself as well as others and so i was also learning mindfulness but because my life was such a mess because i was such a mess you know almost immediately i saw the difference it made when i turn myself with this kind of kind. Warm supportive attitude. I just saw my own experience really made a difference. So and then i started practicing more in the insight meditation tradition. I think because. I am a scientists it. It was a little more compatible with my Way of approaching things. But with people like jack cornfield the path with heart. Sharon salzberg loving kindness. So i was always i was always really drawn to the integration of you might say the spaciousness of mindfulness with the heart opening qualities of compassion and i was fortunate because it was their practice from the very beginning and that was about twenty years ago. Let me just jump in and define terms for people. Yes i i just never know. We have a lot of experienced meditators who listen for new folks who are coming every week in once you start to meditate. There are lots of ways to lots away within buddhism. There are. I would say at least two big skills. We're trying to teach. One is mindfulness which is put simply the ability not to be around by your emotions. The other is compassion. Or if you're if you're afraid as. I am of gooey words. You can just re translate that into friendliness. Just exactly cooler. Calmer nicer attitude toward external and internal phenomena can replace would cooler with warmer sure. I mean i know jimmy but fair enough so it sounds like you pivoted from the initial zen tradition into what's known as the insight tradition which is just another form of buddhist meditation. It's actually the school. I've trained in and right stumbled upon teachers like jack cornfield. Sharon salzberg both of whom have written a lot about yes. Mindfulness again just being able to be non-judgmental aware of stuff compassion which is adding in the notch just non-judgmental aware but having a certain element of warmth in the awareness and so so the mindfulness is aimed holding experience in a non judgmental manner so the compassion is aimed holding the experience in a friendly manner and so they have slightly different targets and so both need to be practiced that can actually almost appear to conflict. Sometimes because you accept your experience as it is including the fact that it's painful at the same time that you wishing yourself well and you want to help. And so it almost forms a bit of a paradox. Actually one of the scenes we like to say is we give ourselves compassion not to feel better but because we feel bad so you have to allow the experience to be as it is at the same time as toward the experience. Because you're friendly because you care you do what you can to help. So one paradox is since sara restate that and i'm also thinking that there may be yet. Another paradox probably won paradox. Is you in mindfulness meditation. We are not trying to control anything. We're just trying to see things as they are right. See clearly insight. The clear seeing of whatever's happening so that it doesn't own us right but in this case All when you add in the compassion layer you're trying to Notice that they're suffering there and you're not trying to alleviate it per se you're just sending warmth toward the suffering as it is trying to manipulate your experience because if you use compassion to try to make the pain go away. It's actually just another form of resistance so you have to fully accept the fact that this was painful this hurt. You know mess the mindfulness validating accepting the fact that this is really painful right now
If I Could Bottle Up One Gift For You: On Self-Compassion by Krista O'Reilly-Davi-Digui
"If i could bottle up one gift for you on self compassion by krista o'reilly davey of life in progress dot ca the best way to ditch self-doubt and walk in confidence. Is the practice self compassion. Self compassion is fundamental to living with purpose health and joy and for sustainable in meaningful growth. Self compassion is also a key tool and learning to quiet. The noise of comparison perfectionism in fear. Let me tell you how. According to kristin neff associate professor in the university of texas at austin department of educational psychology and creator of the self compassion scales widely used in research. Self compassion involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding when facing suffering self kindness seeing ones failures as part of the human condition than feeling isolated common humanity and having a balanced awareness of painful thoughts and emotions. Mindfulness sounds amazing. Right self compassionate self esteem are not the same thing when compared in research self compassion predicted more stable feelings of self worth then self esteem and was less attached to specific outcomes. This is what i mean. When i say i hold things loosely or say open up to joyful possibility self compassion was also linked to less social comparison public self consciousness. Self rumination in anger talk about freedom. We can absolutely be compassionate toward others even when lacking in self compassion. The research bears this out. However i am convinced that to show up fully to life including choosing to receive the fullness of gifts and beauty that life has to offer including the opportunities to stretch and grow and thrive even in the midst of challenges. Self compassion is a must self compassion leads to less self judgment in lower depressive symptoms increases resilience and a sense of capacity and because as a direct and immediate positive on our psycho physiological experience of stress alpha emily's activity heart rate variability and interleukin six response and also leads to improve health behaviors and overall physical health reduction in perceived stress means that people respond to their personal failures struggles in difficult circumstances with kind forgiving attitude. I suspect is also tied to a more hopeful attitude because self compassion also makes way for a growth mindset carol dewick as college professor at stanford university teaches about growth mindset which is tied to neuro plasticity in the understanding that abilities and intelligence can be developed having a growth mindset boost resilience positive emotions and a person's capacity bounce back quickly from struggle failure or loss self compassion and a growth mindset are required for us to become the fullest healthiest versions of ourselves self-improvement. I prefer becoming requires a realistic assessment of who and how we are of both our strengths and limitations. We must get honest about who we are where we are are stories and struggles and our gifting to i. We need to see until the truth about who we are. Then we can take positive action to move closer to who and how we choose to be yet another benefit of practicing self compassion and of a growth mindset is that it helps us live with courage. We become less afraid of failure. We know that failure is normal. Were able to work toward meaningful goals without attaching our worthiness to the outcome. We are less worried about judgment from self or others and his opens the way for us to try experiment. Risk be honest. Do hard things. And so on bernard brown professor at the university of houston and researcher. On the topics of courage vulnerability shame speak to the ordinary courage. A speaking from our hearts and living wholeheartedly. She teaches at courage as a requirement for a living. Our best lives because to do so requires greed wilner ability and even risk. We will get hurt. We will face rejection or challenges and without self compassion. We are unlikely to choose this path. Self compassion also allows us to see differently. It helps us see ourselves as messy and complex rather than broken or in progress as opposed to bad or a failure. It makes room for joyful possibility and all or something instead of an all or nothing perspective. Self compassion is essential for learning to embrace our imperfection or common humanity. Even having a sense of humor about it for making peace with a messiness of life and picking up joy anyway why does walking and self compassion matter to you number. One research demonstrated slightly lower self compassionate and women compared to men but women reported higher compassion for others compared to men rate your level of self compassion from one to ten and take note of your response check in periodically in note any shifts number. Two what are your immediate feelings and thoughts that surface when reading about this topic notice any sensations in your body right down the thoughts. You're having notice if you're feeling resistance or openness to the idea of offering yourself the gift of self compassion number three pull out a notebook and pen or head out for me entering walk as he spend time reflection. Consider examples from your life where you are not being kind to yourself for kind as he like. Think about how life would feel differently if you committed to living with self compassion number four. Why you think learning and practicing self compassion and self kindness matters to you. What are your motivations for growing healing or becoming in this area number five. Consider the roots of your current patterns of thought and behavior was self compassion model to you. What stories you grow believing about yourself key. Think of an event or life experience. They made you believe that treating yourself kindly was wrong or selfish number six. Do you have role models in life. Which draws you to them. List out the characteristics about them you admire and or want to grow in yourself to think about how living from a place of self compassion might help you move closer to the vision of who and how you want to be number seven if there's one area of your life that you most want to change name it and write it down to acknowledge it. Then as we move through the month consider how to apply the information. We're learning to that specific issue or area of your life. May this be a year of gentle growth letting go of what no longer serves in deepening. Your roots of self awareness and self compassion.