5 Episode results for "Kimberly King"
407: Objection Handling - Kimberly King
"You're listening to the daily sales tips. Podcast I'm your host Scott Ingram. Today's tip comes from Kimberly King. Kimberly prides herself on being a Caribbean change. Agent she's a sales professional with seventeen years of experience and Sales Business Development Marketing and customer. Service here she is. Hi everyone I wanted to share. Unimportant tip with sales professionals one. That has been definitely my experience on which can help you as well. In your sales career that is handling objections now. As a sales professional we tend to sometimes especially when we are new to the game seals. We tend to sort of get in one of few dejected. When we've received that FIF- subject should you know it's there on time or will be have competitor? Xyz Who does an excellent job for us? There's no need for your service. I don't have time goodbye slum. It's not the end. What that means if you have gotten an objection for example one way to potential clients seem to you. It's out of all budgets at this time. What should see to you is that there is some interests however at this time? I would like you to address. My concern is a great area that I would like you see a professional to overcome so that I am able to understand what you're saying to me in terms of what you're selling see it as really an opportunity in my holiday sales background on my career What I've realized agreed tip for me to do Israeli do a deep dive on my potential clients duty research. I have an understanding of who they are. Who has the final see would make? Kennedy says shut how the company has done in the past with regards today. Just standing there patterns of behavior the past suppliers etc. What a key. Success factors that basically use that information with in my sales presentation. When I'm having a conversation with clients as to why they should be booking our service that makes a difference in means that as a sales professional. You have gone ahead. And you've been proactive in understanding who your client is an addressing possible objections. Even before they are raised yes oviously. There may be some follow up questions which I would definitely say to you to become to maintain that communist listen to ox. You're clarifying questions refrain Campbell's objections in a way that your potential clients is going to seeing value into contracting with you for example. If seeing time right now is not good reframe way you put across Saddam. That you know was perfect timing. This is what we're doing for you. This is what your team news and having already that research on that potential client. You're able to use it to your advantage. Sadat's my tip and thank you so much for more about Kimberly. Just click over to daily sales dot tips forward slash four zero seven connect with her on linked in and send her an email mentioning that you heard her tip and shall set up a free fifteen minute conversation with you once. You've done that. Be Sure to come back tomorrow for another great sales tip. Thanks for listening.
"You're listening to w l t grown homemade radio. I got this new car a couple months ago and it's manual transmission. And every time i shift gears i think about my dad. I gear is for those first moments after soccer practice when he'd start the mazda and ask what cd i wanted to listen to on the drive home i was picked the greatest western themes because i liked imagining the leather on the boots of the cowboys in the songs stretching and bunching like the leather on the gearshift. I used to pretend that we were cantering. Past sunbaked mesa's instead of the bradley shopping center. Second care is for the way he used to slow down outside video vault so we could get a good look at the new movie posters in the window. Third is for the first time he let me drive us to atlanta's pizza on friday night to pick up our takeout order. Fourth is for the time grefell and papi was too tired to make the eight hour drive from alexandria to go for the third time that month so he let me take the mazda on the highway for the first time and he fell asleep. He woke up to the sound of the engine roaring. Because i was so excited to be driving. That i was doing. Eighty and for dot to shift into fifth and fifth this for the night. I went out to the mazda to practice shifting in the driveway and smell the perfume and realized everything was about to change. um From wwl fm. You're listening to family ghosts. I'm sam stegeman and from the beginning on this show. I've been fascinated by the phenomenon of members whose presence lingers even in their absence. I haven't been in a car with my father for years and yet he's there every time. I put the key in the ignition on today's show. We're gonna meet another father who's always there even when he's not. There's no accounting for charisma. The fool was a man's man. And a ladies man to silver fox slide ogg full quill ostrich boots glided his starched mexican shirts anyways. Through after the break kimberly. King parsons rates. Her short story. Fox's stay tuned Family ghosts is sponsored by better help in two thousand and twenty one. It's definitely okay to talk about our mental health and happiness. Humans aren't meant to keep everything inside. It makes us sick and therapy helps. But what is therapy exactly. It's whatever you want it to be. Maybe you're not feeling motivated right now and would like some tools to help or maybe you're feeling insecure in relationships or at work not doing well with stress. Whatever you need don't be ashamed of normal human struggles and start feeling better because you deserve to be happy. And now you don't have to worry about finding in-person therapist near you to help. Better help is customized online. Therapy that offers video. Vaughn an even live sessions with your therapist. So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy. And you can start communicating with your therapist in under forty eight hours. Join the millions of people who are seeing what therapy is really about. See if it's for you because you are your greatest asset. I am grateful to better help for their support. A family ghosts as you might guess. Therapeutic journey was a big part of my drive to start this very show and now family goes listeners. Get ten percent off their first month at better. Help dot com slash ghosts. That's better h e l p dot dot com slash ghosts support for this. Podcast comes from cdw and adobe cw. We get the people to need to sign here on. Always here tell me about it. I'm always chasing down signatures. I go through pens and shoes like chewing gum. Sounds like you need a doping sign orchestrated by cdw to securely automate e signatures and workflows across devices from anywhere integrated with existing tools. Signed can save your organization time in miles. Thank goodness i can finally take the shoes off no back on back on. It orchestration by cdw people who get it. Find out more at cdw dot com slash adobe side Happening happens indeed. So my daughter tells me how plotlines in the deep woods someone is chasing someone else is getting hacked. Hatchets are lifted. Brought down down down instead of blood onto snow a cast of animals. some local outlandish show up to feast on the bids. The benny bits. She'll say the tasty remainder ings. Good luck diverting her good luck correcting or getting a word and what she gets going. It's gruesome but this type of storytelling. I've been assured is perfectly normal among children her age I have a fat stack of books concerned with the inner lives of little girls. I have glossy pamphlets full-color articles. I've taken from waiting rooms. Her stories may be distasteful but my daughter is happiest describing dark spattered. World's routine is what's important. All the experts agree stability so tonight is the same woods it is. I say when she takes by the wrist. I'm the first to admit it. I tune her out. I know there are fox's in her stories. I know there are men. She misses the dogs. Maybe she misses her father. She's an excitable kid prone to rush speech. Truthfully she spits. I'm told this mess. As evidence of a rich lined. Doctors say teachers. My girl has strands of dazzling beads hidden in that throat. She pulls him up from somewhere. Rich way in the back Protect she's fashioned is small and drab zagging hosted by a pair barstools soiled pulled straight from our beds he's drooping sheets are my daughter and myself layered and flat. She scurries inside whistles for me. I'd bunch up and crawl through and enhanced nude host flashing new pumps kicked off. The air inside is damp trapped and sharp from her socked me my cheap and not cheap perfumes mix and float. I'm taking too long to settle. My daughter's big wet is over there in the dark where. I can't see them rolling at me while i struggle. My friction drafts dust and old up from the carpet. I've been meaning to vacuum but the machine is in the upstairs closet heavy with a full bag. A whole scheme of orange aren't caught around one of the bristles. My daughter's size patience is a muscle. I remind her hers is puny a week. Slick of lavender. My knees don't bend how they used to. My head is domain. The roof flashlight clicks on catches a universe grit and leftover dog bit bit and rowdy and poco turning in the air specs of my daughter and mean my fool. Ex husband are old family filthy and granular ready. She says deep in the woods. The night is running from who i asked my daughter from. Let me tell it. She says she's not going to like it. But i've forgotten something crucial unimportant part of our routine half a second. I say i reverse scooped wreck against a barstool threaten the entire design. My daughter hisses ackward is what the full would call us maneuver and he wouldn't be wrong. I'm quick at the wet bar. A dirty glasses pretty clean. When you're the only one who uses it renew. Enjoy the same drink. Every time there scarlet lipstick on the rim. all me. i get back in the tent before. My daughter's feelings are hurt. I like catches cut. Crystal in my hand scatters blue and yellow sparks sherry. I say it doesn't need to be said. But i like the word secretaries drink a middle class nightcap. She knows i'm finished forever. The red top bottles in the blackout offals. Plastic bottles tops. I lost bottles of a clear sludge in every coffee mug in this house. My daughter beans my face like a cop. I take a sip dainty Sheet break the seal. I push my drink under outside but not away. This is me being responsible. I talk myself in the wrist. A cold hand out to touch the beated glass just sherry by all means i tell her go on. My daughter's teeth are gray with white flecks and she tells phone gathered in her. Corners drips ribbons under her chin. She spews my only job is not to flinch flashlight. She looks nothing like knee deep in the woods. The night is running. You will do whatever it takes to get back home her teeth or my fault week. Denton on my side of the tree are photo albums. Full of smiles gum disease. Going back through the ages white sores and also quicky jaws people predisposed to clench into damage. Even as they slept plus my daughter's precious grape soda is corrosive untold. I push water and milk. She fights me may not be pretty but my girls brain is just fine it is. She dogs the worst gene somehow father. The fool was a man who broke the binding of the biggest ever book of party. Jobs kept the blue crested pages paperclips to rubber banded dog-eared in his glove compartment crammed into his blue jeans. The full said what's black and white and wait. Wait then fumbling though flipping. I'm not much better and my daughter's age. I folded my failures textbooks. Land broken for my public mistakes even now count the months on my knuckles and navigate the world making the hell out of one hand. I've got country smarts. The pool used to say his arm in some adjusted carcass. You trapped for days and shot for fun. It's not the fault of the deplorable towns. Where the fool and i grew up in the piney woods. You're penitentiary me. Upper texas bludgeons oklahoma county known for making grew wrote. The bus jaundice premiums. Both of us are nursed on bap rated milk instead of formula soft on toys coated with lead paint whether it's nurture or nature for people like the fool and the air is a long beat between learning something and knowing it for us answers. Come later when we're far away from the question. If they come at all he makes money lots of which obscures his deficiencies. I overcompensate read what i can take my advice at least i know what i don't know which is more than i can say deep in the woods the night is running. He will do whatever it takes to get back to his family. Words are full of enemies. Hooded men setting traps wearing black cloaks men with needle nose pliers. But the night is unstoppable. He has been on the move for so long is leaped out of snares set fire to cloaked. Men is turn pliers around on. The bad guys ripped their islands off and self defense. I'm not sure how my daughter managed it but in this altogether different deplorable town. Awful for nicer reasons spring breakers and prefab houses eddie smelling tap water. She's the best and brightest and her young class. I've got a bumper sticker. That says asked me about my honors. Student she comes home with her backpack full of flash cards arms. Cuffed enrolled up poster board. She taught the dogs when we still have the dogs to sit in spanish eureka. She shrieks three four times. A night is nothing. Like mobile homes. The fool in i grew up in full of boilerplate poverty and the lazy rage. That comes with it me fighting my sister's stolen ketchup packets. The fool ducking his dingy. Little brothers in week oh. Bathwater girl has a writing desk and an electric pencil sharpener. She lists endangered species over alphabet. Soup says she will be an architect veterinarian. An astronaut and a mommy shampoo horned. She sings a song. South american capitals sketches the water cycle on a steamy shower. When i'm telling her off. I trace cursive letters on her back. Sweet little notes just for her no matter how fast i spent them out. She never misses a word through those teeth. My daughter tells me about baobab trees. Have you heard of our ecosystem. She asks when i took her in. Have you heard of my inner beauty and my outer beauty deep in the woods. The night is lost. We have been hunted so long running and running but he has not come to the edge of the woods all this time. He worries that he has been going in circles or in the wrong direction. Night will do whatever it takes to get back to his child but he needs a new plan. He knows he must leave. Some sign of himself behind. Can i borrow breadcrumbs. My daughter asks from the walmart kids in the oven witch. Of course i say thrilled to see her comprehension and recall at work. Take whatever you need. I don't dare check it now but outside the tent. My drink is almost empty. You can tell by the temperature of the glass. The nightly the trail the kasha croutons big hoax and wondered read fairy tale bullcrap. Her father would say where he here. The fall believed himself to be a master degrades in real life. He'd say people branches to show where they've been there's now accounting for charisma fool was a man's man and a ladies man to silver fox. Slide off he wore full quill ostrich boots glided his starched mexican wedding shirts guinea ways through the room. This quick smile. Prompt updates stitched in deep haydn. A big tipper. A southern gent was good in bars. Good places that muffled him as terrible jokes the helen keller and knocks so many stupid. Blondes the argued we were most brutal in cars. Coming from or heading toward the next humiliation we thought about women and we thought about men at parties. I talked small with strangers and double-fisted drinks before i went looking. I find the fool in a dark room is face caught by the lights. Ramon frigerator door a passing car partygoer or hostess turning buttoning zipping. Honey baby say to me corner. Where have you been all my life. Take me drunk on home with the fool on his knees in a courtroom belly up in the bushes. When i went for the car he was much older with a fortune coming an oil. Well he dangled. When i pretend packed my bags or sat crying suitcase. By then there was the daughter diapered and snapped and drooling strapped into a carseat out in the hall. I was twenty three. The caesarian scar court reporting certificate. The full paid our mortgage had a trust fund for his only child. I wasn't going anywhere. Combat baby baby. Please come back. He cruised one weekend. The fool went on a bender and smashed every light in this house. I spent my sunday screwing in bohm's. Hey the full said from our beds still drunk. How many us does it take a family. Ghosts will continue in a moment coast family if you like what. You hear on the podcast. I hope you'll take a moment to consider becoming. A member of the kindred spirits are community of supporters on patriotic. It might seem strange for me to ask for your financial support when you hear ads during the breaks of our show but the truth is while i am grateful for those sponsorships. They don't come close to covering the cost of doing this work at the level you expect and that's where the kindred spirits come in for just five dollars a month. They get the satisfaction of knowing. They're keeping the mike's hot here at wwl. Fm plus get cool bonus episodes every month featuring exclusive content. You won't hear anywhere else this month. They're getting to hear an interview. I did with the author of the story. You're listening to right now. Kimberly king parsons about among other things why she calls this. The hardest ever written kindred spirits also get early access to our new episodes and hear them ad free. If you're already a kindred spirit thank you so much for your support and if you're not and you have the means please consider joining them today at patriotair dot com slash family ghosts support for this. Podcast comes from pay pal. Small business owners. Turn your smartphone into a cash register pay pal. Qr codes or the safe and easy way to get paid in store and they deliver the same security and trust pay pal is known for online in person. Even if you're a cash only business with paypal. Qr codes you can accept credit or debit with everyday low fees. There's no additional hardware or software needed generate your unique qr code from the paypal app and display it on your device or print it to display in store customer. Scan your code with their pay pal app. You only need your smartphone. Learn more at paypal dot com slash west slash get. Qr code support for this. Podcast comes from progressive. What would you do with an extra eight hundred dollars. Buy a plane ticket. Pay down your student loan. Treat yourself to those shoes. You've denying with progressive. You could find out drivers who switch and save save an average of seven hundred ninety six dollars on car insurance get your quote online at progressive dot com and see how much you can be saving national average annual insurance savings by new customer survey to save with progressive and twenty nineteen deep in the woods. The breadcrumbs aren't really working. The full said he was sweating like a horrid church. I open a window now and again. He was so hungry he could eat the crotch out of a rag. Doll sucks account from a low-flying duck. Would it kill me to pop him a cold beer. How about cracking an expert change. The fool was no saint and i was no homemaker. We could've afforded a housekeeper. A personal chef at the fool wanted me to hone my skills. I drank to keep up. But i was no not yet mitalent sleeping it off. I brought hangover cures into bed with. Ginger ale with a splash tabasco. An effervescent tablet a glass seating on the bedside table my showed up shoot holes through the sleeves. My soul teams left droppings on the silk pillowcases my marble vanity lose gems. I told myself black pearls I wore asleep mask and didn't mind. I dozed until three hobbled to a lawn chair at transplanted into shower. I was a lightweight. A pretty young thing dressed to the nines by the time the full came home. Walk through the door hungry. after hunting. he say sister. this brill. making a push itself deep in the woods. The animals are helping the night whistles out. Become hordes of bears and birds and rabbits and foxes. My daughter stops her story for fox facs. Did i know that is hunt alone that they walk on their toes. I use this opportunity to answer her cheerfully as i slip out of the tent. I have heard my phone. Like i have some small pressing task. I do know about fox's though. I encourage her to continue her list. I'm the one who selected everything fox children's guide from the library. I'm the one who has been reading it to her. I'm back under the sheets right away. The night i say chipper. I'm checking her face to see the bottle registers. I put it next to me like pets with the animals help. The night knows he is heading in the right direction but people keep getting in his way now. He has his knee on. Somebody's throat is cutting out. Somebody's floppy purple. Tongue is feeding that song to a fox. Did i know a fox can hear a man's watch ticking. Forty yards away. Fox's don't shiver. Group of foxes is called a skulk. Someone else is coming down the dark wooded a night is so brave and strong. You will kill the whole world to get back to his daughter. Of course he will pick out the dogs but our daughter gave the names. Two of them were rangy and energetic. Hot nosed breeds could be trained on any sent. The other one was squat with soft ears. A short snout for mouthing dead birds. A fool would go away with this pack for weeks at a time. Return with a truck bed full of bloody or feathers depending on the season even as a tiny thing my daughter never seemed to mind slaughter. A fool would sit on the bench and the garage while he hacked and sawed talked about his deep respect for the natural world. I kept the dogs indoors after he left. Because that's where they'd always been and because a child psychologist told me to daughter insisted she take responsibility but of course i ended up doing everything early. The food and water bowls putting bleach drops between shoulder. Blades hiding heartburn pill and hawks cheese time. I tried to pretend they were my dogs. I didn't mind the two trackers. They barked at solicitors and slept near my daughter's bed but the tender mouth one was a real problem. You'd shit in the kitchen and cloth hardwood. He roam the halls at night. Wining for the fool. I told some lies. What i said was your father. Loves you to bits. Your father is busy but he is always thinking of you. Your father would visit but he is living on the other side of the world he would call. He is at another time. Zone is in place with poor reception has lost and broken. His phone has had it stolen. There's no male over there no stamps to buy nothing coming in or out. Bit bit rowdy and poco went to live in the country. You were sweet and smart and definitely not extremely strange. You're lovable and deserving of love. Everybody is when it's deep in the woods and the night stabs another man and along with a pencil just because the air seeps out an e is there any better sound. My daughter wants to know i pour myself a very reasonable poor. I know about the stepped on packer in the dining room. The clots of mud around little shoes in the front hall. Of course i do. Those messes aren't new. I noticed them every day several times a day but then i flash on the full vacuum bag the upstairs closet how heavy the bristles the orange skien. Children can't see grime. i read that. They don't recognize dirt a separate from the sturdy so why bother in the deepest darkest woods night cuts out a man's liver and tosses it to a fox. He cuts off two years. Fox fox he rips out learning as a snack for a wolf to learn. X's i believe it's pronounced larynx. I say gently refilling my glass With nothing to hunt the dogs became carpet. Argest fat and begging for food a stank and renew izzy and my daughter had lost interest in them or seeing too so i kept them locked in the laundry room were rambunctious and too much trouble to walk so i take them outside one by one straight to a treaty and back a does on big pillows wind scratched on rare occasions when i encouraged my daughter to play with them in our small include scarred in and she had to be forcefully encouraged every time they would run like crazy knocking into one. Another and her clawing into the dirt too long nails a frenzy of ecstatic barking. My daughter would soon get bored and want to come back inside but it was nearly impossible for her to get a handle on. A dog's baby made dodge frothy tones out smiling. The way dogs smile eventually be tasked with wrangling jerking their choke chains dragging them back to their dark so deep in the woods. The night is fashioning ornamental. His friends the animals when he will not like star to the highest tree. It will be made from the hands of his enemies. This is no easy task. My daughter says she pantomime. Dissection brought to demonstrate effort. It seems to me is misusing. His time he could stop discussing detours in such a rush to get back to his kid a twig snaps. Someone is coming down the dart. Would it pass. It is yet another man cloaked carrying razor-wire. Maybe you can guess where my daughter is headed with us. The hood man is zombie. She says no friend at all zombie. Why i say how annoyed me that these are. New characters at her plot has twisted his daughter. I asked pouring myself a lovely poor. You've left a lot of holes. The night at zombie fight in a heap life. Dogs storybook dogs that spin around and around until they turn to butter. I read her that one. These do not turn into butter. Blend in melt together until are indistinguishable until one dizzy cowboy is all that is left naked bleeding out at the base of a tree. Isn't that a little sloppy. I say things have changed. Since i last freshened my drink. My girls stories are stories. only in the loosest sense. The night is no longer present any clarification. She glares goes on. Gives another butchered hand. The animals safety scissors are involved. A webbing between dead fingers must be sliced for some reason. I don't always need to follow her logic. The cutting is the point the ripping apart ding-dong is what the full called. Our daughter dingus. Which do dangling he would ask for. What a genius. The girl was even then rolling over sitting up pulling herself to stand by pant. Legs propelling herself around the coffee table. There was no real tether between the two of them. Microbes glories wasted an unnoticed. She doesn't need him now either. She's well on her way to growing up. Becoming a real person she has preferences. She's come to on her own. Sophisticated tastes for example. She's crazy artichoke. Hearts capers capers. There are tricks to coping with certainly person you brought into the world focus on the positive maintanence outlook relish small personal pleasures. Because of the teeth. My daughter looks like she's been drinking red wine. I swear she hasn't. I blacked out now. The full wanted to know about now. It was one of his jokes one of his insults. I could match him. Shot for shot but not without consequence lost keys broken ribs. Mchugh ball tried to bite like an apple. That i have fun. Ask him did i. Then the girl was born and things change not at all. We went about our business with babysitters. That's and bonnie's never a tanya never risk like stacey. I liked my girls. Acne russet rubber band stretching at the backs of their mouths. You are a motherfucker. My slurred fool as a handwriting. Best looked on from the couch horrified. Bonnie waited for her ride. You are nouveau riche. Trash with cash. I fed the fool. His greatest fear this after a sickening discovery photos of some mixed up in an unseemly queen posed in purple panties in the pools. Ten gallon hat. What does that make you the full shot back you without a pot of your own to piss or maybe i didn't really say those things not out loud. Maybe this time there was not a bad or bonnie present. It was only the fool on the couch on his back. Boots in the air abaga. Ps on his face to sue the eyeball. Scratch toss polaroid. The girl was not yet born. It's possible. I remember eight days in the wrong order remembering out of scale blast straw had nothing to do with one of the schools. Women are one of the tools men it had to do with me of all people and something small that i did stretched out of proportion. In the fool's fool mind it makes no difference to the fool that my daughter is on the honor roll. He doesn't care that she's reading above grade level that she scoring off the charts in math for all. He knows she's the oldest in her young class. Air is no water cycle air. No south american capitals. It's not his problem that she tells horrifically. Violent psychologist approved stories. He doesn't mind when she makes ridiculous demands when she is entitled a nasty in the throes of some demonic tantrum for all he knows she has regressed steadily backwards since he went away. Maybe she babbel's now gurgles like someone without a tone someone who has never learned to speak in the deep woods not all the animals are so nice. Don't forget their panthers hiding out here. Mayor skinny and pissed off air coiled in the springs like furry pissed off springs ready it occurs to me to be more careful about language. I use a child. Mimicry though it's akin to intelligence. Is it not. She's mad at me. Because i've spilled drenched my sherry hand gotten the carpet wet. I'll clean it up later with all the rest of it. I'll take the kitchen scissors upstairs to the vacuum cleaner and cut the yarn. That at least. I have decided that will be my first step. Should i choose to take it deep in the woods blah blah blah. My manners are the first thing tomorrow. I try to keep tabs. But i'm never drinking from cam. I keep track in my own way am blinking regularly. Can i feel my mouth. Sherry is a pretty treat that warms up the light around your face. No harm can come to my daughter. The trick to paying attention is not an intervals. Occasional swing a rutted brow. children are the easiest. They do not care that you're listening. Only that they are speaking. My daughter's teachers used to ask me to decode her much fall. was lunchbox. cream was crayon. There was poc poc goo a mother should know we have such a tough time. They would say nothing but carville from this one here about the last straw. It's true that i dropped dirty diapers out of the window down into the bushes over a brief period of weeks. It wasn't his it by drop them onto the front lawn. And at least i wasn't leaving. Our daughter to sneak in some corner of crib. Bay landed on the side of the house out of sight from the street. Obviously i intended to retrieve the mess at a later date. But the fool took my pile personally hauled it. A grisly discovery said. It was proof of a real problem. Perhaps the fool broke only one light all or perhaps broke it myself. Perhaps the bulb burned out on. Its own or changed it before. It had a chance to pop in the woods. The cowboy defeat the final enemy inky shape that has been looming this whole time. Ruining everything chasing him away. The shape descends from the dark sky. Wretched twisting seeing a terrible song. She brings her inky face. Close to the cowboys face. Her eyes are black sparkley gifts. Her teeth are really pointing. She smells like somebody trying to hide their true smell with a bunch of few. Her hair isn't in a long braid and how banks or just kind of flat on her head or glasses are not so good on her face and she stumbles around a lot spilling things. I get it. I say i see what you did there. Every mother rages sometimes. This is called parenting. The girl is bossy her hand on my mouth to stop me from drinking and spoiling her ending in that order. My daughter has trouble making friends. Of course capers are now deep in the woods. The cowboy is triumphant the inky shape slain a sculpture. Fox's escorts him home or at long last. He is reunited daughter. She's been waiting for him all alone all this time. He hugs her so tight. Makes her alphabet soup. He sets up a tent in the living room and listens to her stories. Really listens later. He talks her in traces cursive message on her bareback when she can't sleep. I'm here. i'm here. I'm here outside on the porch. The cowboy has set out big bowls of food and water to feed his friends. The inky shape is elsewhere. A slushy mess. On the forest floor the pissed off. Panthers found out of their trees wake to slurp up her blood deep in the woods. A story is not over. In my humble opinion. Inky shape at terrible bitch. She comes back from the dead she researches schools make doctors appointments. She pays tickets. Does the laundry. She enjoys a drink now and then okay but the inky shape is not committing. Any egregious errors. For example she not getting laid. No men are coming in and out no men at all ever. She buys organic fruits and vegetables. She really does clean sometimes. She keeps her hands to herself and it is so hard with the dog. You can overtake them. The trainers will tell you this. It's to establish authority to maintain control. You can't do this with a child. Hold their arms at their sides sit lightly on their chests. Experts agree the cowboy will never come home but he is not wandering not lost he is still in texas not even very far away. He commands a crew on derek in the gulf the big empty hulk his operation deep underwater. He doesn't need the job he has the kind of money that begets money. But he enjoys living out there. Air miles handrail a thousand light bulbs. Sometimes to boost team morale. He hosts an open mic. He days sleeps and plays ping pong puts checks into the inky shapes account. He's touched for practical reasons. But he has no interest or intent to return. He's made this clear very soon. He will be dead in a painful mundane way a ruptured this burst that and even more funds will arise noble of him to provide a hefty inheritance. And still working out that last part right. Now it's more wish than plausible ending. It's quite possible. My daughter will disagree with this version. Altogether she might save it. I put words into her mouth. Xiaomi a mother who hasn't Ghosts is hosted produced written edited and mixed by means. sam stegeman. The story you heard on today's show is called fox's and it was written and read by kimberly king. Parsons you can find this story alongside many others in kimberley's book black line up lincoln. The show notes for this episode. Our theme song is by louis. Garra and our show. Art is by teddy blanks incidental music from blue dot sessions if you're a member of the kindred spirits are community of supporters on patriots. You can hear an interview. I did with kimberly about the inspiration for this story. Please consider becoming a member of the kindred spirits today. It's just five dollars a month at patriotair dot com slash family ghosts. We couldn't make family ghosts without the kindred spirits and we appreciate your support so much and if you don't have the means to become a patriotic supporter no problem. Please consider supporting the show. I leaving us a review in apple podcasts. If you're looking for something to listen to in the off weeks between family goes episodes and if you like the hbo series six feet under checkout fisher family ghosts every week my partner adrian. I watch an episode of the series and then talk about the waste narrative characters and themes affect our approach to storytelling. And how we think about our own families find fisher family ghosts where you're listening to this. We'll be back with a brand new episode of family ghosts in two weeks. Thank you for listening ghost family. I'll talk to you then
2020 Oregon Book Awards
"Welcome to the Archive Project I'm Andrew Procter. Executive Director of Literary Arts. The archive project is a retrospective some of the most engaging talks from the world's best writers from more than thirty five years of Literary Arts in Portland. This is a special episode of our show in which we will be announcing the winners of the two thousand twenty. Oregon Book Awards. The awards ceremony was originally scheduled on April Twenty, seven, twenty, twenty as a live event, but But due to the ongoing corona virus pandemic, our thirty third annual book awards ceremony is now the special statewide broadcast. Thanks to our partners at Oregon, public broadcasting, we are thrilled to welcome everyone who has tuning in from all over the region. The Oregon Book. Awards are sponsored by the Oregon Cultural Trust still reeves talking tour, and the Oregonian. Thank you to these institutions and the many individuals who support this year round program of the arts. Since Nineteen ninety-seven, the Oregon Book Awards a celebrated, the work of our states, authors this year, two hundred and fifteen books from forty four towns across the state, were submitted out of state. Judges determined the finalists and winners. In this episode. You'll hear excerpts of the winning work by the authors themselves. Our guest host for the special episode are both previous book. Award Winners Elena Passarella and Omar Akhad. Here's Elena and Omar I Elena Passarella. I'm the author of Animal Strike Curious poses and let me clear. My throat and I teach at Oregon State University, corvallis where I live and I'm Omar Account. I'm the author of a book called American War I do not teach anywhere. No diversity will have me We are so excited to be hosting this special episode of the Archive Project. We have seven. Seven awards to announce for books by Oregon Authors and we invited all of the finalists stir court, assured reading of their nominated work. So after each award is presented will hear the winner read an excerpt of their winning book also thrilled to have Oregon's poet laureate, an East Modigliani present the award for poetry, and East will also present clip from Lawson Nada winner of the c e s Wood Award. There are thirty five finalists for the two thousand twenty. Oregon Book Awards. This is a great group of finalists. Several of them are first time authors. All of them were selected by out of state judges for their excellent excellent work, and each of these winning authors will receive one thousand dollars and the recognition from a book award can be a tremendous boost to a writer's career I. Know that was my experience Omar I. Don't know about you, but it really helped to have. Have the support of the Oregon Book Awards back in the day, when I was lucky to receive a nonfiction award. How about you got? It was such a great night? I remember for about a week of just not believing it had happened. There's something about winning at home. You know there's something about about being in that space around writers whose work and whose presence means something to you. Yeah, and it was just a fantastic I mean. Do you remember how you celebrate it? I think I started celebrating before the award ceremony began. AT SEVERAL DRINKING ESTABLISHMENTS AROUND PORTLAND So, I don't really remember how I celebrated when I actually wouldn't. But it was just a delight. You know the it's held at the armory when we're when it's held non virtually and. Broadway books had a big table. I remember full of titles and I. Think I ran out and bought all of the books of all the other book award winners and the It was all women from Broadway who are running the table of we just shouted, and like I five and then I ran around and I found all the other winners and had them sign their books I mean that's one of the things about this moment. Is that in addition to all of the nightmarish world that we? We live in his idea of the community of it right of just being around other writers and being close to people who are being rewarded for their work I mean again unless you are in that stratosphere, writing is not a particularly lucrative thing. It's not like being a rock star, and you get this one night where you're around. Other writers and everybody's happy and it's. It's a real shame that we can't do it right now, but that doesn't mean. We can't celebrate these tremendous tremendous writers. Really, excited to be able to do that. We have to imagine, or maybe we have to make it a rule for everyone who's listening to the book awards on OPB. Right now that when they hear the announced the nominees and the winners being announced, everybody has to do some kind of special dance in their car or in their living rooms or wherever they're listening to this. And if you're a winner, you have to pick up a hairbrush and give a speech into the closest mirror. So that, you know that we're all here for you and we're all. We're all as a state enjoying. This great award ceremony together. Let's get started with. The first award will begin with children's literature. The finalists for the Louise Jarvis McGraw Award for Children's Literature. Are Cathy Camper for low riders blast from the past. Roseanne Perry for a wolf called Wander. Jody J little for mostly the honest truth. Deborah Hopkinson for Carter reads the newspaper. And Rebecca Steph off for Charles Darwin's on the origin of species. And the winner is. Cathy Camper for low riders blast from the past published by chronicle books, Kathy is the author of several books and works as a librarian in Portland and here's Cathy Camper reading from her award-winning lower writers blast from the past. Everywhere I went. I listened for words for you to paint. Toboggan musk lunging Caribou from the north, hundred Kayak from the Arctic Kangaroo from Australia in New Hampshire and hurricane from the Caribbean there, the kind of words you like words for animals, plants and things that come from native folks and described the land where they lived. Those people's blood is in you. To who do you think gave those folks? Mosquito Bites our ancestors. Mosquitoes contain the blood of everyone just like language contains everyone's words. Indigenous words are hidden in English and Spanish people speak now, but they're still there. Congratulations Kathy. Hey, that was really fun. Omar who are the finalists in young adult literature? Thank Selena the finalists for the Leslie Bradshaw Award for Young. Adult literature are Deborah. Hopkinson for how I became a spy. A mystery of World War Two April Henry for the lonely dead. Connie King Leonard for sleeping in my jeans. Roseanne Perry for last of the name. And Nancy Richardson Fisher for when elephants fly. And the winner is. Deborah. Hopkinson for how I became a spy. A mystery of World War Two published books for young. Readers Deborah Hopkinson is a previous Oregon Book Award, winner, and the author of over fifty books for children and teens. Here's Deborah Hopkinson reading from how I became a spy. A mystery of World War Two. Chapter One. I kept my head down as I went around the curve. Hoping the PAN wouldn't fly off my head with my right hand I studied my quivering Spaniel and tried to keep her from toppling out of the basket. Still even one handed I swear, I would've made the turn with no problem, except except the girl was standing in the middle of Maddox Street, I shouted. Hey, watch out too late ahead to let go of little ru I grabbed both handlebars pulled hard to the left. I wasn't quick. Enough my right. The girls Shin we all went down. I banged my left knee. The Pan clattered away in L. are tumbled out of the basket. She bounced up and began barking, twirling in circles like a crazy wind up toy overhead bombers roar from the ground at CAC. Guns shot defensive fire into the sky I scrambled to my feet, rubbing my knee. Congratulations? Deborah I'm Omar Cat and you're listening to the Oregon Book Award announcement. Elena I'll turn it over to you for general and creative nonfiction. Are The finalists for the Francis Fuller Victor Award for general nonfiction are Barry, Lopez for Horizon George S strike for fables and futures. Carol Barratt for Pansies. David Wolman and Julian Smith for Aloha Rodeo three Hawaiian cowboys, the world's greatest Rodeo and hidden history of the American West and the winners are David Wolman and Julian Smith, for Aloha Rodeo three Hawaiian cowboys, the world's greatest Rodeo and a hidden history of the American West published by William Morrow Julian is an award winning journalist. David is a contributing editor at outside and a longtime contributor at wired, and here's Julian Smith reading from a low how Rodeo followed by David Wolman. My name is Julian Smith and I'm the CO author of Aloha Rodeo on the morning of September Fifth Eighteen, ninety eight, the streets of Cheyenne Wyoming lined with so many people. It was almost impossible to move. Ranchers merchants, schoolmarm, huckster, farmhands, and children of all ages and gathered to mark the start of a celebration of life and sport in the West Cheyenne Frontera days. Festivities kicked off with an extravagant parade that included enough the combatants to launch a war twenty mounted, sue a company of German cavalry and white uniforms. Bands of Arabs Turks and Mexicans on horseback accompanied of Cubans and squadron of British Lancers. They were followed by fire trucks decorated with glowers and a train of thirty weathered prairie schooners. Two men sat in an open carriage at the head of the convoy. One was a prominent rancher and surveyor named William Richards. Who had become Wyoming's fourth governor. The audience had come to see the other man distinguished gentleman who's long white hair fell over the collar of his fringed Buckskin Jack. To the daily Sun Leader, the fifty two year, old cowboy was handsome is a picture bold as a lion chivalrous a fault. He has the Beau ideal of the public, a human poem breathing statute an animated painting. His name was William Frederick Buffalo Bill Cody and he may well have been the most famous person on the planet. My Name is David. Wolman and I'm the CO of Aloha Rodeo. Hazards aside the life of Peniel also offered unequaled freedom and adventure. For, those who thrived on the satisfaction of doing a difficult job well. On their own terms, there was no better work than running cattle. This was as true in Hawaii as it would soon be in the wild west of North America. Even the moments of greatest danger balanced by a subliminally that inspire a cowboy to a kind of poetry. One Penny. Oh described the hyper alert, almost enchanted moment of the hunt. When the mind is calm ready. You hear the whispered command you mount up and ride down over the rim. Down down through the swirling fog and clutching brush. No need for silence now just watch which way those wily cattle are going to turn away from you. You head and horns set for the charge. Your, Pony step aside your hand flips a loop over the horns. You take up slack and your ponies turning watching that rope and you're running beside the captive. That head of it that Beautiful Wild One. Congratulations to David Julian. This is Elena Passarella and you're listening to the two thousand twenty. Oregon book, award announcement a special episode of the Archive Project, and now we're GONNA turn to creative nonfiction, the finalist for the Sarah Win a award for creative nonfiction are Beth Alvarado for anxious attachments. Deborah Courtney for I am a stranger here myself Rebecca. For the, oasis, this time living and dying with water in the West, Liz pro for volcanoes, Palm, trees, and privilege essays on Hawaii and Wendy Willis for these are strange times. My dear field notes from the Republic and the winner is. Back? All varotto for anxious attachments published by Autumn House Press Beth in Bend, Oregon, and in addition to being a twenty twenty Oregon Book. Award winner She's also a twenty twenty Oregon career literary fellowship recipient. Wow, and here's a clip of Beth. Alvarado reading from her. Oregon Book Award winning anxious attachments. In Prague I am outside of time. My perceptions heightened by extreme Sion's and sleeplessness I stand in front of a long windows of our apartment. I part the White Gauze curtains and look up and down the street for my daughter. It is three A M and I. Don't know where she is. Maybe the waiter has sold her to sex slave. Traders I have dreamed that of course end of my mother. Helpless on the stainless steel table. I cannot fall back to sleep. I stand before the long windows in my nightgown across the street, a youth hostel, a club behind windows like mine young people come and go up and down a staircase the red neon Arrow. Outside on the street men stand next to their taxes. It is summer. Everyone is drunk, an exuberant with noise. Teenage boys run through the streets, waving flags calling out Deutschland Deutschland. I am in a country where I. Don't speak the languages I can't sleep without dreaming of my mother's bounds and my daughter where she I have promised to keep her safe. But where is she I don't know I. Stand in the window and watch for her. Imagine myself walking the cobblestone streets trying to find her. Imagine myself talking to people who do not understand me. Their mouths move in ways I cannot decipher. I place my open hand above my heart to comment I stand in the window and the taxi drivers below waved to me. They are so used to seeing me there in my black nightgown waiting. Congratulations Beth Okay Omar, who are the finalists in graphic literature? Thanks Selena the finalists for Graphic Literature Award. Our cat fares for my boyfriend is a bear. Maria Capelle France for the chancellor and the Citadel Greg Means and MK. Read for Penny Nichols. Dylan macos for Queen of the sea and Aaron nells Stinky for Mystery Club Mr Wolf's class number two. And the winners are. Greg means mk read for Penny Nichols, published by top shelf productions, both Greg and K are cartoonist who live in Portland and here they are talking about how they came to write this book. My name is Greg Means and I am the CO author of Penny Nichols. The process of creating Penny Nichols required us do a lot of research into the. And Bolts of how low budget movies are actually made. Luckily there have been a great number of how to books and memoirs written on the subject, both about the successes and the failures failures were especially useful in helping us through the many scenes where everything goes wrong for fictional filmmakers. We also watched lots of behind the scenes. Documentaries at this point I've probably watched more. Documentaries about horror films than actual horror films. My name is Reed and I'm one of the authors of Penny Nichols a graphic novel illustrated by Matt Wheel and Co written with Greg Means penny is a young woman rotating through temp jobs when she meets to horror film nerds with a dream to make an Indie slasher movie at the wedding venue where they work. Petty joins. The crew discovers their talents for organizing igniting her passion for creating. Even the thing she's creating sometimes features gallons of fake blood and exploding heads. It's a love letter to finding your crew and finding your community that will let you be your weird self. Congratulation, Greg Means and MK Read. We asked Oregon's newly appointed poet laureate unease Moshe Ghani to present the Stafford Hall Award for Poetry This is an East Ghani before I announced the winner of the Stafford Hall Award for Poetry. I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge this year's special awards recipients. These three additional special awards recognize significant contributions to Oregon's literary culture. Especially award recipients were nominated by community members determined by the Oregon Book Awards and Fellowships Advisory Council reading results and right around Portland both received special recognition. Thank you both of you for the work that you do and Lawson. Of Ashland was awarded. The Charles Erskine Scott Wood distinguished writer award. Lawson Nada was Oregon's poet laureate from two thousand six to two thousand ten. Here's a clip of Lawson Nada reading. Concentration Constellation for Oregon Poetic. Thank you to the Lewis and Clark archives and to Lawson providing this clip in this earthly configuration, we have not points of light, but prominent barbs of dark. It's all right there on the map. It's all right there in the mind. Find it if you care to look. Begin between the Golden State's highest and lowest elevations and name that location men's and our rattlesnake align southward to the zone of Arizona to the home of natives on the reservation, and call those he la Poste and Then! Just take your time winding your way across the southwest expanse, the lone star State of Texas gathering up a mess of blues as you meander around the banks of the humid. Mississippi! Yes, just make yourself at home in the swamps of Arkansas for this is roar and Jerome. By now you weary of the way. It's a big country. You say it's a big history hardly halfway through with a Macci looming in the Colorado, desert, Heart Mountain High, and Wide Wyoming Mini Daca on the moon of Idaho then down to Utah's. Topaz before finding yourself at Northern California's frozen shore of Tooley Lake. Now regard what sort of shape this constellation takes. It sits there like a jagged scar massive on the massive landscape. It lies. They're like the rusted wire of a twisted and remembered fence. Now, the finalists for the Stafford Hall Award for Poetry Are Carl Adamshick for Birches Shane Del Beers for secure your own mask, Lynn Otto, for real daughter Alan Peterson for this luminous, new and selected poems and Ashley Tolliver for Spectra. The winner is Ashley Oliver for Spectra published by Coffee House press. Spectrum is Ashley's First Book Congratulations. Here's a clip of Ashley Oliver Reading from Spectra. This poem is called standing on the lawn outside your house with a match and a gallon of gasoline. This morning in the cupboard. I found your last quarter inch of whiskey. Settled amber in the Mason Jar same burn on the horizon. The last Indian summer. You sat naked. Kitchen table carving the nectarines free from their stones. When the cold math of winter arrived early that year, I! The first fist you seemed into. My cheekbone was to get to the proof. To the pit of the marriage. You, asked if somewhere we find the each of the lumber. Do we find compassion for the axe blade that splits it. I used to lie down inside my own stitches and let the dawn light farm. They're black to noon now I run like a ragged dog over the tight bow of their edges. It doesn't make any difference. What Angle? I work my heart against them. I still don't know what kind of woman I am. But as the flame nears the fingers that trust the match as close as the skin can stand descend, I call this the nerve to find out. Congratulations Ashley. Thanks. Okay before we announced the Final Award Omar. Take me back to when you were sitting in the theater, and you heard your name called as the Oregon Book. Award winner for fiction for twenty eighteen for American war. What was going on in your head? What do you remember everything in people? After the fact, tend to say things like Oh, I never thought I would win or whatever but in my case I have proof, because usually they tell you to try and sit up front if you're a so that you don't take forever. Getting there to the stage and I was so convinced that that I was not getting the word I was sitting in the very back, not only in the very back, but in the middle of the row. So the way that it was structured that year was that they wouldn't announce the winner by name. They would read a passage from your book and so for about thirty seconds. The person who wrote the book and the three people in the room read the book would know who won. And then at the end they would say that was from Blah. Blah Blah so for about thirty seconds. I knew that my name was about to be called, because I remembered my own book vaguely so I had to turn to the people next to me and say like I'm sorry I'm about to inconvenience. You about just walk past twenty sets of knees. And they they didn't know. Nobody knows who the hell I am, but they didn't know that I was getting up. Because I was about to receive this award, they just thought that I absolutely did not care about the fiction award and was going to use the bathroom or something so. I went about as badly as winning and award can in the moment. But I. Remember you been doing much better job of getting up there, and and accepting this with grace as opposed to my shuffling nonsense that I that I did I. Don't remember the transportation at all from from wherever I was sitting to the podium I I? Don't I hope that I didn't bust? Anybody's needs accidentally or step on anybody's faces. I do remember your speech though Omar because it was so charming and funny and full of Great Zingers, and then later that night. I learned that you were were you enrolled in a standup comedy class when you won the award or had you completed the class? Is that Raider Yeah? I was in I was in a stand up class because My friend told me that was a good way to make friends and I'm one of those people who needs a blueprint for making friends because I. Honestly don't know how to do it i. just moved to Portland and I needed to figure out how to make some semblance of a social life because I didn't really know anybody here, so I joined a standard class, but it was taught by a very pragmatic working standup comedian home made it very clear that from the get go that he had no intention of making any of US funny. That was that ship has sailed. So instead he would tell us things like. Make sure you hold the MIC. Close your mouth. Don't walk away from the spotlight. Don't run your time. Don't go. You know very much like cabinet making you know there was no there might be some artistry involved, but if the cabinet doesn't work, you've failed. So that helps a lot. When we went on to do like a reading series and you know that sort of stuff, right? That was the only helpful part. Part of it. Certainly the actual stand up career was short, lived and deeply antagonistic so the audience, but it sounds like it worked. It sounds like you took that class after you know years of slugging away alone at your novel to make some new friends, and not only did you find new friends? You found bookish new friends who had come with you to the Oregon Book Awards so success. Absolutely, it's been a great substitute for actually having a personality. It's been fantastic. Let's move on to our final award. Tonight the Ken Keyes Award for fiction. The finalists are Kisha a Joseph Fisher for no god like the mother Kimberly King Parsons for Black Light Stories. Peter Rock for the night swimmers Gabriel Ariza for the white deaf, an illusion Karen Thompson Walker for the dreamers and the winner is. Kiesha Joseph Fisher for no God like the mother. This is Kiesha Josie Fisher's first book and here's a clip, of Kisha, reading from no God like the mother. It was a part of town. I did not know. Mother brother and our climbed out of a taxi and dragged out bags across the plank Ovalles the gutter. trudged through a fan of mud and rocks before entering a building. At the top floor, mother rattle the cast iron buys. A lanky bareheaded girl scurried out. Good afternoon more. While the told her who we were and that we were there to see media. After a nod and a Neil, the girl and The deadbolt Saute through the keys at how waste to undo the padlock, and finally drew the heavy gate ajar. We sat on the bench in the corridor of their flat after the girl excused herself to fetch damn. I saw light poring through the French doors that lead to the Verandah at the end of the corridor. Mother and brother rested their bags on the floor. Mine remained in my lap. Madame Nydia glided toward us in cub that reached mid calf. In its looseness, it hit the shape of her body. Her arms went off. She admitted a crooked greeting before. Other, Brother frustrated. I felt. The cold tile pressed into my knees. I quickly rose off the floor. She tapped brother's shoulder. Stand up, please. The. Go had been standing with her face down in hands, clasped beside the chain of keys. Were madams. Fingers danced in the air. The girl looked up nodded and disappeared behind a curtain into the kitchen. This way, please alleged damn again with that commanding hand. I reached for my bag. Leave it. She snapped the girl and I flinched. NYDIA. Waved me forward. No one will bother it. Congratulations Kiesha Fisher. Thank you so much for joining us for the Twenty Twenty Oregon Book Awards a special from Literary Arts the Archive, project. Elena. It's been a blast co hosting this episode with you. Hey, thanks, Omar, this has been great. We should probably remind the audience listening. If you missed any of the show, you can find this program and readings from all the nominees at Literary Dash Arts Dot Org. this is Susan. More I'm the director of programs for writers at Literary Arts on behalf of Literary Arts I'd like to congratulate the finalists and winners of the Twenty Twenty Oregon Book Awards Thank You Susan This is Andrew Procter. Thanks so much to our hosts, Arlene Passarella and Omar El, a cat for joining us to present the thirty third annual Oregon. Book Awards as Alina mentioned. You can learn more about the Oregon award finalists at literary. Dash Arts, Dot Org, and also at Broadway books dot net. This has been a special episode of the Archive Project the. Archive project is a retrospective of some of the most engaging talks from the world's best writers for more than thirty five years of Literary Arts in Portland. Join US next time for the archive project, a literary production in collaboration with Oregon public broadcasting to hear more from the archive project. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Our show is produced by crystal gory for radio and podcast with special production support for this episode from Susan More and Todd Twitter. Thank you to the Literary Arts Staff. Board and community the show would not be possible without them and thanks also to the ban demands to Peter for our theme music, and thanks to all of you for listening I'm Andrew Procter, and this has been another edition of the archive project from Literary Arts Join US next time and find your story here.
38. The Perfect Marriage with Jeneva Rose
"The happy even after happy even after podcast divorce. But it doesn't need to define you. It doesn't need to be the end of your story. The happy even after podcast meet your host renee bauer and award winning divorce attorney peacemaker author and founder of course an online divorced educational program. He's been doing work for almost two decades and she is passionate about athletes. All women make it out the other side. The happy even after podcast. Let's jump in. Hey everyone welcome back to another episode of the happy even after podcast. I'm your host renee. Bauer and today. We are talking about the perfect marriage. Is there such a thing is. They're not well. My next guest can tell you exactly what it's not to let me introduce you to her. Sarah morgan is successful. Powerful defense attorney in washington. Dc and as a named partner at her firm life is going exactly how she planned. The same cannot be said for her husband ad. Though he's a struggling writer who has had little success in his career in he tires of this and sarah's relationship as she is constantly working out in the secluded woods at the couple's lake house adam engages in a passionate affair with another woman one morning everything changes and that woman is found brutally stabbed to death and now sarah takes on the hardest case of her life defending her own husband who is accused of murdering his mistress. So that's a bit misleading. Because i don't have sarah morgan here today but i do have the author of this juicy twisty in utterly addictive thriller that will keep you reading all night so the real guest today is geneva rose and she's the best selling author of the perfect marriage and that's what i just read to you. Is that back cover from that amazing book. And she's also the author of the series dead women crossing so welcome. I thank you for having me so first of all. Congratulations on your debut. Book hit the amazon bestseller list. And it is awesome. I read it. I read it like really fast. Because it's so good it's such. It's truly a page turner. Thank you all right so my question for you is. What is the perfect marriage. Well i don't think it exists and that's why on the cover. It's the perfect marriage but the word 'perfect is crossed out. And obviously there's a lot on the cover. I don't think it actually exists but in this book this couple. They think they have the perfect marriage or seemingly to everyone else. That's around them. They have the perfect marriage because he's got a great career soda she but then behind closed doors. It's not. I don't think any marriage is perfect. No matter how it's portrayed on social media or to other people right and that's that's exactly what we see every days as we kind of scroll through social media what what people are putting out as that perfect life and it's really not true. I mean they're not behind. They're not being accused of murder. That's not happening behind closed doors but it certainly not perfect. So what inspired you to write. This book I came up with the idea like years and years ago of a wife defending her husband and murder trial. Because i just thought that would be interesting and thought about if i was a lawyer what i do that if i my husband was on obviously and i didn't know if he was actually murdered his mr cerda would i actually defend him and try to help them. So that's kind of how the idea came about and then it just went from there. I thought it was. It would be interesting and then it also goes from both points of view of the husband the wife and they both have their own side. Tell so after finishing writing this book. Did you make up your mind if you were a lawyer. Would you be able to defend your husband. I think i would definitely depend on all the facts of the case I don't know. I don't know if i could remove myself from it and actually be good for the defense yeah. I don't think anyone could have removed themselves. I would have to really care about that person. Speaking of the do watch the series of out right now. Called the undoing. I watched the first three episodes last night. And i can't wait to finish a yeah. It's a good theories. And i almost saw spoiler and so i'm like i need to watch this before. Accidentally read a spoiler. So yeah in the kind of the premises. Like do you stand by your your spouse if something like this happens in you know it's it's so it's such an interesting concept and you don't know like you you don't know as as to watching that you don't know whether the person did it or not so yeah we won't. I started watching it because so many people were like god. You should watch the undoing. It's it's like the plot is kind of close to the perfect marriage. And i hope it's not too close. No no no no no not at all so this book has also been optioned for tv. Is that right film and television. I actually got the final contract today. That i have to go to a notary and get signed so. I'm going to do that this week. That's amazing i'm excited. It's option by the team behind the hunger games twilight divergent films so they know how to adapt a book in. So does that mean. We are absolutely going to see the perfect marriage on our screens or like. What does that mean for people who are listening. Who aren't in kind of the writers world will i you. They option it. So that's just the option period. They have eighteen months to get it greenland and then there's a secondary option period for another eighteen months so their goal is to get the film greenland and the first eighteen months. Otherwise they gotta pay me again to basically rent the riots. But i i did talk to one of the producers a few weeks ago and she told me that they were starting pre production planning and just like the scheduling part of it. So i know that they're very very enthusiastic about the book. The founder of the company had been looking for a book like this for awhile. I will and i think that they will get this green light because there are a lot of times that books get their options sold or their rights sold in the nothing transpires so but seeing how passionate they are pretty confident me. I want to talk about writing journey. Because i think everyone thinks that you sit down to write this book. Oh it's easy it's done it ends up published looking at. Its on tv and just like that. It's magic but we know that that's not the case. And can you speak a little bit about your writing journey. And i know what it is because we've been friends on twitter for a while now and it's just really incredible Just the path that you've been on in how you've come out in the just the whole been the kind of the celebration period that you're in now because it has been Not always a smooth road. Yeah definitely i started writing books like seriously like actually sat down. I was like. I'm going to write a book. I've always been a writer. But i got really serious almost five years ago and i wrote my first book. It didn't get an agent. And that i wrote the perfect marriage and i got an agent within two weeks aquarium authors. And i thought oh my whole life's gonna change. This is gonna sell. She was just like she's like this is going to be a bestseller. I can sell this book. And then you got on submission. And i went on to submission rounds over the course of a year and a half and it didn't sell and there was a kind of a relationship breakdown there where we just had different communication and working style so i ended up parting ways with her and i kind of had to start all over again because as you know getting an agent is so incredibly hard. I had an easier time getting a film and television deal which is insane because they are insanely hard to get that. I did get an agent. The second time around is now. I'm represented again. But i didn't get that agent until this book became a bestseller until i signed the series deal and that i had a film and television deal and the film major and my film agent introduced me to literary agent so that is crazy so it anyone who's kind of listening and saying i want to write a book and what's the path is. Oh the traditional path. is you. write this book. You find an agent by. I don't know like an act of god. And they take your book and they put it out into the world that submission that you were talking about and they find a publishing house for it in so often just finding the agent is like such a moment of like heightened joy. because it's like oh my god. I have something that i wrote that someone likes and now this is it like this. This is i'm going to be a star. I'm going you know going to the movie premiere and it doesn't always work out way in you know it. So many highs and lows definitely is and then after. I parted ways with that agent like couldn't get another one. I was just like you know what. I'm gonna submit this book to a small publisher that will will look at it without an agent. I ended up within two days of submitting until like six publishers. Offered and that was the one i signed with and there are small publisher like a crime publisher out of the uk. And i knew that. I would have to do like a lot of work on the marketing side. Because they are small publisher. But i was like you know. I believe in this book. I believe it will have great word of mouth and cy was. I'm just going to sign it. The big five deal isn't gonna happen for me with this and yeah i sign. What's crazy is how the film and television deal actually happened. The instagram that. I started talking to a producer who loved my book and there was other interest from another production company that reached out to my publisher but the actual deal that went through. Was this producer. Who raving about my book on instagram. And i thanked her and then we just started following each other and then the one day i told her i was like. Yeah i have film interest in my book. So maybe you'll see it on the big screen one day and i didn't even realize she was a producer and she was like wait. The film and television rights have been optioned. And i was like no. I'm like i kept my film and television rights out of my publishing contract in. I don't know how to sell those. So i the interest has to come to me. Otherwise is not getting sold and she was like. I'm bringing this to my team and it turned out to be you know. The hunger games twilight divergent team. Oh my god. That's just like you just made my heart flutter that's amazing that's the ball saying because she was bringing some are umbrian coverage to my team and i was like okay cool. I had no idea what she was talking about. I i figured like oh. Maybe she has like a little tiny film company somewhere and i was like. Oh well this is like serious. That's amazing so how did you go from a uk publishing company which was a small company. You had to do your own marketing to a bestseller like you sold. Thirty thousand copies like really fast. A which are huge numbers for anyone period and especially debut author. Well i've worked in social media for about ten years now. And i still do that as a day job so i really i. I'm very good at social media. And then i got really ingrained in the books. Graham community in literally handing out twenty five copies to bookstore grammars they just went nuts with it they loved it they posted about it so much and then from there. It kind of just snowballed ashley spivey from. She was to be on the bachelor. She posted about my book on her instagram. Which has a large following and then i went viral on talks with our on tiktok twice with a book marketing videos. So one of accumulated seven hundred and fifty thousand views over like three days and it was literally like the put a finger down. I don't know if anyone watches tiktok but it was put a finger down. And you usually talk about yourself. But i talked about myself as if i was sarah morgan's character and that i was just kidding me neither like this is actually the premise of my book and tiktok went nuts for it. I thought they were going to hate me for lying like this clever. We'll be back just after this message if you're feeling confused and overwhelmed by the divorce process the d. course can help this this video course will educate and empower you to make the best decisions for your future. Taught by an experienced divorced attorney. You will learn everything you need to move forward into your next chapter head on over to. Www dot the course dot com for more information. You do not have to do this alone e you actually did something really funny. Recently to and it was hugh highlighted a review that it was clear that it was a good review but it was clear that someone had not read the book review. That was a dm on my facebook. Oh no way yeah. He was trying to obviously trying to strike up a conversation with me. I'm married and it's very clear on my facebook too. And he just deemed me and said that and so then i was just like okay are he said like oh. Your book taught me a lot. And i was like. Oh this guy is clearly thinks. This is a self help book on the on marriage book about murder that's hysterical talk dot over one hundred thousand views on it. How are you able to connect the tiktok views to book sales. When my i went viral the one that was seven hundred and fifty thousand views. It shot me up into the top. Two hundred on kindle annan paperback for three days when it went viral my sales just skyrocketed on amazon. The social media. Oh yeah and like. After that. I did the same thing for the first book. And the dead woman crossing series on. I did the same. Put a finger down for dead woman cross. Dan and my editor noticed because it got five hundred sales over a two day period and this was preorder sales and had been stagnant and she found my tiktok. 'cause she was trying to figure out why there was all these sales and she was like. Hey i found your tiktok. And i was like that was going to be a prize. I was going to tell you about it after the weekend. She's like no. We saw the sales and we had to see where they were coming from. That's amazing so let's talk about that book. Is that book on the same publisher as the perfect marriage. That one way is with book tour. And they're owned by his shot so that one is and that's why also it's under a different name. It's a pen name. Jr adler instead of geneva rose. So that one's with different publisher. So can you explain why you had to write under a pen name. The publisher required. It is signed. These book deals. Sign the one book deal with bloodhound. And then two months later. I signed the other one just because it took longer to finalize it and they required a penny one. It's very different. Whereas the perfect marriage is a very fast paced thriller dead woman. Crossing is an atmospheric mystery like a detective series and they required a pen name. I think one has. They're the bigger publishers so they didn't want the smaller publisher to kind of get some of their marketing efforts. Even though it's the other way around the perfect marriage has sold way more than dead women crossing but that one just released in all fairness rate it came out on september. Okay and so. What's the premise behind that one. That one is about a detective. She's nypd homicide detective that decides to move to a real town called dead woman crossing oklahoma and she moves her with her young baby to get away from the city and the stressful job and to be close to her mom and when she gets there and she's the chief deputy on the police force It's supposed to be a very easy job for her. But then there's a murder and the murder is in the exact replica. They real murder that occurred in dead woman crossing which is where the town takes. Its name in real life in nineteen five so it's a copycat murder and she's trying to figure out who did it while also trying to fit in with her mother's new husband and family and just the town itself that is not very welcoming to new people in this series. Yes i actually just finished the first draft of the second book two days ago. So when will we see that on the shelves april twenty twenty one so like four months. Oh my gosh that's fast. I know they are very quick. I have to do structural at. It's like i'll get them back next week. I'll have three weeks to do so. Okay so geneva. I'm sensing a theme here. There is murder in all of books. Should your husband be worried. I mean i tell him that sometimes bring them one book that didn't have murder published. Now i i think you're good at it like that's what i like to read about it. Interest man in. How did you see you social media for your daytime job almost said your real job but i like i can't say that because this is a very real job will it become your full time job in the future. That is what i'm hoping for. I actually cut down the hours from full-time down to thirty hours like a month and a half ago. Because i just couldn't do both with the editing and the writing and the promotion and then the film all of that. I can't keep doing this. So i would like to eventually just to do the writing but i a very type person so it is kind of nice that i'm like scheduled for something versus like writing. I could do it in the morning that night. Whatever but my job. They require me to work certain hours. I'm the same way. I took all last week off to write all week in. Do you think that i was productive. I was more productive when i was working in my office. Fulltime like. I get much more done because i schedule it in. That is exactly how i am. I i feel like. I'm better under pressure so the less hours i have the more i work. Yeah it's twisted. That's the only reason. I'm like still keeping this job to mike. I don't need to do it. But i'm like keeps me busy. Keeps me very structured. Yeah i hear ya. So what do you say to someone who is out there. Who has this dream of writing a book. And they don't know how to start war they just feel like it's it's kind of like a pipedream in they'll never get to the place where you're actually get this question a lot. My mom's i always respond to people. Because i'm like i still think of myself as an aspiring writer and i can remember when i first started out and i would say the best advice is just come up with an idea. I like to do character sketches and like studying sketches ahead of time and then get a little bit of an outline and right that i draft is as possible is you can't edit a blank page and then i also recommend to read a lot and then read books on writing and like i like story genius and save the cat right so novel and even stephen king's on writing memoir is just great for motivation as well. That's one of my favorites and also bird by bird. I don't know if you've read that one. I haven't read that one. It's fantastic for motivation. And that's why i just do it. I'm like i actually wish my biggest regret is not sitting down and actually really trying to write a book sooner. Because i always thought it was too daunting task. Too much of a pipe dream. Yeah and then when their rejection start pouring in because they will just don't stop think of every now as a noble attempt keep going. Yeah i mean. I think i've racked up like one hundred fifteen agent rejections and right now my books on submission and i think i lost count of how many rejections we've got to this. You know at this point and it's just like you have to have a tough scannon. Just keep going never like. I think i did the same thing with lies. You did like i got the agent. Unlike that's it like this. Is you know this is the path to success successful writing career and then like you just stop in so you realize like okay now you just have to write something else because there is that potential that this book may have got you the agent but it might not get you a book deal exact. I've i have racked up over. Three hundred rejections submissions agents. And i'm on submission with a new book. The only thing. I kind of like which i didn't like when she told me she was going to do that. Where she was not going to tell me rejections until the entire round was done and then she would let me now. And i'm like such impatient person. So i was like i need to know but then i was like oh i remember the days i would get a rejection. That day was over at ten. Am was like today's don. Yeah those are the hardest. I think the submission rejections are the hardest. Those are the ones that will kind of gut punches because had a couple of close calls in when my agent shared in when she shared where it was from it was like y'all have grieving process. And there was an tae that like i was in such a funk because i was so pumped up and then you get that rejection and so i think i'd rather not now like give me the good news and just withholds the bad stuff i agree. I've i've olympic enrique or. I've only been on submission. Like since right before thanksgiving like the tuesday before thanksgiving so like it. Hasn't last week wasn't it. Yeah i haven't been. I've been on it for like a week with thanksgiving them there so i'm like obviously i have it. Probably she hasn't heard back. But i keep thinking like well. Maybe she heard today. It's a now. But i'm glad i don't know although i wanna ask i. I got an email from her today about foreign translation rights for the perfect marriage for french translation rights. Because they reach out to her although she doesn't have anything to do with that. 'cause i signed that at my own but i thought it was an offer for submission i was like i mean this is good too but no that's pretty cool. So how do you find the time to rate all of these books. I'm a binge writer. I'm either going to write a book in like one two three months. I'm not gonna write one at all and that's honestly that's just my personality. I'm just. I don't know over the top with everything else so it's all or nothing and when i have it like i have it set like i do it by like i'm gonna riot two thousand words a day or on the weekend. I'm gonna write four thousand words. And i'm not gonna do anything else until those words are done. I do like that. I know some writers do like a chapter each day or something about the number of words of always helped me and just being able to plan like what. My first drafts usually look like in terms of length. So i know exactly how long it'll take me to get their that. Do you tend to overrate. Or underwrite your drafts. I am an underwriter. And i am happy that i am because i couldn't imagine having to cut a lot and i like to like really just get the bare bones. My first drafts are always between sixty. And seventy two thousand words and that i beat them up in the second draft really like do the descriptions and all of that him expand. That's that's how i write to. But i don't plot i've tried and i cannot do that like i. Just sit down and just kinda go and see to see what happens. I wish i could outline. I've done both. I've had like very heavily outlined books. That i've had other books that they're not lying so like there's one i'm working on right now and i don't have an outline. I'm just doing it. But the perfect marriage was the middle was not her outlined. It was just the beginning and the ad. So i had to fill that in some of the twists that are in there that a little twister out. Those came about from like writing sprints just studying a timer for fifteen minutes in writing fast as possible. Awesome so your advice then is just a sit down. Put in the seat in type in reich. Because it's not gonna rate itself. Yeah don't doubt yourself you'd never know you literally never know where it's gonna take you. I have a friend who she went out when she actually went to try to get an agent. She got an agent on like a thursday and by monday. She had a massive penguin deal and that honestly like i was so happy for her but then i was just like all the tinge ten jealousy in this industry. And you can't stop. It and i was very happy for her but she is a cinderella story. Yeah and that's not the usual story like most people. Don't have that and i think that that's what you tend to like. Judge your self compare yourself with That's why you expect it to happen that way when it does. It's like oh no now. What read another book. Especially when it's so close to you. Because i had known her for a couple of years we were like email pen pals and we were exchanging chapters and talking all the time. I was like gut punch house like minded. That happened for me. I know. I know so what is next for you. What books can we have to look forward to where there's the second in the series and it's supposed to be titled blackheart lane but there might be a title change but it's the detective kimberly king serious and then. Hopefully i will be an announcement out for the film and television rights for the perfect marriage. And then if this book sells on submission. Perhaps that i have no idea. I'm not. I'm not even like counting on it. 'cause i did that before and it was terrible. It's it's an amazing story though. It's just. I think that your story. And why i really wanted to have you on here was just because it was this. You just kept going. You kept picking yourself up in you. Captain imagine if you stopped at rejection one. Oh one or rejection to ninety nine you know you would have. You wouldn't be holding your your book in your hand and i think that that's the moral. Is that no matter what you just keep going. Yeah that's and i think. Honestly most things just require a lot of perseverance if you want to be kind of an outlier in there and publishing is one of them. Because it's a it's it's so hard there are so many gatekeepers. There's so many people have to say yes and they have to say yes at the right time and it doesn't always happen. Thank you so much for being here. I am so excited to watch your journey. I can't wait to watch the perfect marriage on netflix. Or wherever it ends it was definitely end up somewhere and there will be talking about that instead of the undoing exist awesome. Thank you so thank you and good luck and everyone needs to pick up a copy of the perfect marriage and read it because you will not sleep the day that you get that because it's that good it will keep determine the pages all night so thank you geneva. Yes thank you for having me. That's around up with us. At ms rene bauer dot com. Remember to read in review and share with anyone. You think might find this episode helpful. You can change your story and live happy even after.
DSC 10.30.20 - Our Halloween Costume, Naughty Parents, Summer School
"Little flexibility can go a long way by refinancing your newer US auto loan with ten fed you can lower your monthly payments for more flexibility in your budget. You can even schedule your first payment for up to sixty days from the date of your refinance calculate how much you could save at Panther dot org slash auto refi or call one, eight, hundred, two, four, seven, five, sixty, six to apply membership is open to everyone to receive any advertise product you must become a member of unfed insured by. NCUA Happy Halloween. Tomorrow. Girls all dressed for. Can. Never, disappoint trialogue this. Girl's known all dressed up in costumes I'm like what? legit. Halloween that's right. Put. Pictures up on the web here in a little bit emily. Is All dressed up as a super math leads. Dressing up like a book. From? Couple of years. Ago. One of the most famous emily costumes of the Mall Pov book. I'd put a pool in. Superman league this year. Jazz her. Golden Capon. Extra heavy duty glasses. And your abacus shirt because you had said to me, nothing can be here then a book costume than an advocate so I challenge accepted. Look of the shirt put together. You built that yourself. Nice I, like it a lot. Thank you. Near prepared to calculate anything at a moment's notice with the abacus that has been blazoned across your chest to the number sixty. Gone, higher than. that. Sarah dressed up. In, a fearful frightful costume today that is known to strike terror into the hearts of many people here including on up. We have not run into each other oh you haven't. Let me get on the phone. And see what he thinks about your costume. Don Russell. I haven't hello. Rallying, today me. I have on a shirt, look like a skeleton and you can feel a little baby. You have. A pregnant mom. Halloween t shirt kind of thing up. Yeah and and the baby's skeleton. The baby is a Franken skeletons the. Commissioner. Sounds awesome. she hasn't seen you yet. Now let's see. Haven't and. Stay out of sight for a second secondary so she can't see. I WanNa see this Franken baby skeleton. Reminder here let's do this. I like that. Have you seen Sarah yet. No. I have not check it out. She dressed up as one of the most horrifying things ever seen my not sir. That's right. She is. She. Is A sly raccoons? Hungry. That's right. She's a bait. She is all that test. She's a sexy raccoon just got a little baby raccoon that is eating honest head. That is. Pretty Clever. About girl. Stuff happy Halloween all this weekend. But the trick or treating begin. House, the haunted house coming to you and your son. We'll set it all up tonight. All this adviser in house and this is coming now. Okay. Good. To work on peeling grapes last yesterday now, I'll do it tonight. At. All tonight. He goes. To Sleep. Okay. Look at you. You've completely changed. It used to be areas a couple of EMINEM's. Just kind of like loose ones swimming around your pocket. Now. Building your own haunted. House. What's become of you? Do. On this, emily. I feel like making an effort to be like a fun mom or something. Comes naturals her. Your makeup is freaking me out. It is yes freaking me out a little bit. That's it. I'm. Just. got like a complete. Skill Hardcore bucktoothed thing. You don't have to take teeth then. Well I. Only you know made the upper lip black because that's what I mean. You totally looked like a raccoon you get a bandit mascot and everything you look great you really do. What their lives are little in you know you've to like. It's an optical illusion. Love actually with Ryan Reynolds was. Definitely maybe is Ryan Reynolds and Steve Carell. Oh. Steve Carell Ryan Reynolds and Steve. No Not Ryan Reynolds the other Ryan Gosling Gosling. Kick. Crazy stupid. And who's that girl tenant Robert Who Watch? Donna. Option. I like you guys are great. Thank you very much pitches coming pictures coming of all the girls dressed up for Halloween this morning. A lot of people talking about the backwash podcast. You guys got talking about dogs and got Chris Boyer Very upset. He's very passionate. Go ahead. Not. Really upset fired up. Figure Oh. We're talking about James and he pulled out his phone and win over a list that goes back years and he's tracking. Go checking the names and he had an explanation of why every single name was given that name what character for Rockford files it related to the gas attendant in this one episode of season forty-three whatever? Stuff ever? Yeah he's. Matters a lot and he does not seem to care for anyone. Else's idea. Cookie crazy background ideas why they named their dog. The way they did, right Why should that matter to or well a lot of times as I've foster dog parent he ends up with these dogs for a short period of time and so he's got a call him their name and I just think that sticks in his cross a little bit. It's got a nice dog they're great personality but some didn't give a lot of thought to the name and now. We're has stick with the name for the Dogs Mental Sanity And so it's challenging for him. So I was listening to the podcast a little bit. But I like to listen to it in just slow down just a little bit drunk version. So, here's the Hoyer. Sarah who? Just consoling each other. About the tragedies of dog names, some people will. Dog and. The however maim immediately in mind for the dog. All right. Let's. With that. Names early prepaid for their dogs. I. Couple of drunk old people say. I'm. You. One. Talk. As for brains borrowing names already pre for their dogs. A. It's the process. She put. She from a process. Burn. John. Perfect on. ME. It's the best way Sir. Drunk podcast. The hangover guys. She from from a process. Stand. Seriously takes and then you've got Sarah, they're trying to talk them back from the Ledge. BRINDA run. On the perfect dog. On. Regatta. Brandon. Off at all. I just see a couch in an apartment at three o'clock in the morning. Coffee table with stuff strewn. Yeah. Glassy is. Carrying on like they're solving the world's biggest problems talking about my job. All Serious Are you okay with. It. Okay with that though. Isn't it fun. Stuff. So why you want to do the backlash podcast puck quiz. Yes. Do you remember what the question was. All right I will give you what do you want me to give away For this. Fifty dollars sprouts man. It seems like to Kuta Prize for this contest, but I will. I will allow. The fifty dollar gift card sprouts, farmers market. It's healthy living for less than what is our question? How does boyer spell the name of his Dog Mike? He had a dog named, Mike. had a dog named Mike and he spells it Kinda funny I guess. I. Eight, eight, eight, five, seven, one, one, five. Mike and Mike. Right apparently I'm wrong. That's not how he spells it. The boy racer is not an rb it for me to try and figure that out. Hello you're on the DSP dino, the answer how does boyer spell the name of his Dog Mike Can Try figure it out. And do that on your own time are the DNC what he's sick. Am I see? Did you know he did not like. Yep. Thank you. Hello you're on the DNC show. Riley back. Day. Halloween Eve do that to. Hello, you're on the DNC. Strike Four right there. So you WanNa tell us the tricky way that you spell. Mike I will. It's Mike with an exclamation point. Is that right? Mike? Las Vegas. mcgrane. Mike. Mike. Is it Mike, and all capital letters are just the. Just the okay. was the capital with an exclamation point and you must love that because I know what a Fan Sarah you are. Exclamation point do I think that's actually terming So Mike with an exclamation I used to know a DJ in Washington DC whose name was Bert. Which is the last thing you'd probably ever put. Next you probably never put an exclamation point after the name Bart no woman has ever exclaimed I mean you've you know summer that's exciting summer Savannah but birkt. I guess bird sized up his name at thought it was rather a Dullard name. So? He would punctuate the hell out of it. And then just. Tear up the nation's capital by store this crazy radio show. But yes, he did. He spelled his name that way burt, he was just a one name DJ exclamation burt. and. So it Mike in the morning. Mike. The Dog. The Dog. Would you would you include this on Actually, like official paperwork that was irrevocable. Or was this the foster on This was a foster and this was for a different group. And they told me, they said, we're getting a dog you can name it. I see. So I said Alright. Perfect. Sent the dog's name to him and I said the dog's name is. Frank or whatever, and they said trade your dog's name it's O'hare. Oh well, really you've changed the name. So then every dog that I fostered for this other group, I would change its name. So when people would come to see the dog and thousand five southbound felt spar and the dog was would completely ignore them. Yeah. No I wouldn't come to that name. You don't you don't call him. New Call Him Mike Exclamation point and he will come running. So just a mess with the my changed every foster dog name to one that I liked. All right. That's a small form of retribution and social protest. From a process. I call them Feld spar. From a process I know. I know no one likes. Brenda already deferred. Perfect dog. Deep Breath. That podcast. Along the everything we've ever done in our lives. All available on the website one. Oh One. KGB DOT COM. For the IHEART. On your phone take. US. Everywhere you go. Your music, all your podcast and the KGB. Always available to you. chainsaw. Ding Dong he last night. That ever. What did what did I not watch? you not watched the Falcons, in the panthers a couple of losing teams. Okay. Emily's aspects are in action tomorrow. quarterbacks fiance can't get over herself and eight tilted coffin are the panthers a a losing team now because they don't have cam. Newton Cam Newton winning anything but he's not on that team anymore. Correct. And they're star. Christian. McCaffrey's out. So they're they have no. Injuries. I get ready for the chainsaw getting you into a super southern California sports weekend next here on the Friday morning. As C. Show. Coming to you from one zero, one, five, KGB Sandia does the C. Radio show. Here to talk all things sports single. Well, good morning and thank you David and. A in the sports world, the Atlanta Falcons have lost so many games they thought they had in the bag. It was no surprise last night when after scoring a late touchdown against Carolina to make it twenty, five, seventeen, they missed the extra point that would have clinched it. Meaning the panthers could've still scored a touchdown and make a two point conversion to force overtime but alas. Is. The. A play that's bleeding Wilson Matt Ryan and the Falcons. Kid. A Win and hang on to the fourth quarter. Twenty, five, seventeen, the final. and Atlanta improves to a robust two and six while the panthers dipped to three and five among the decent games we have this weekend are two and four. New England at five and two buffalo as boyers bills hoping to dominate their longtime dominator the three and three Vegas raiders will visit Baker Mayfield on the five and two browns. The four and three forty niners will visit the five and one cheesy cease CHEESE SEATTLE SEATTLE SEATTLE team Pacific Northwest Two and five Dallas. We'll lose at two four and one Philadelphia Sunday night the eagles. Are Favored by nine, Oh and the one. Yeah and the one to watch is the AFC north showdown between six steelers five hundred, one ravens at Baltimore the chargers visit Denver. And the six and one chiefs will annihilate where they've playing. Are they playing the giants? The one six giants? In Kansas City where Patrick Mahomes is fiance we'll be tweeting as usual from the stadium Yeah Britney Matthews. This is mahomes fiance. I know right. She's extremely active on social media during games and she isn't shy about voicing her opinion on football related matter. Despite the fact that trollers saturate her tweets with hateful comments, every Sunday she's not planning to stop Matthew says she's grown a pretty thick skin and has been able to learn just nor the trolls at this point she says payback can be very mean and you have to have tough skin and be strong and know that those people's opinions don't matter. Speaking of someone who's football opinions don't matter like even. A little. Brianna. Emily's WANNA know Aztecs visit Utah State this Saturday night and Logan Utah. The CBS sports network will televise and your radio call will be right here on the one on five Cage Bay with Ted Lightner on play by play. Stupid. Wow. What's going on here with the stupid Aztecs favored by seven and a half Mailo I know right meanwhile in. All that. Candy was my whole life. I was that was first ten years of my life I think the only clear thought I had. Was Get candy. That was a family friends school. They're just obstacles in the way of the candy I'm out for the candy here I'm just thinking get Ganic again and again and again, and again, that's why you have to teach kids not to take candy from a stranger they're playing in a playground because there's such candy Moron Idiot brains just this man has candy I'm going with him I don't care what happens to make A. Family. Don't go they'll talk to you kidnap doesn't matter. He has no Henry and have to take that chance it be get panicky Danny. So the first time you hear the the concept of Halloween. When you'RE A kid? You Brain Candy. The information you can. Be Like What is this? What did you say? So. What did you say about giving out candy who is giving? Everyone that we know is just giving out candy. Are. You kidding me what is happening where why take me with you got to be a part of this otherwise anything that they want. I can wear that. Bottle sociation UH. Read our back the hall of fame coach who led the Boston Celtics nine NBA, championships in the fifties and sixties. He died this week in two, thousand six he was eighty-nine. Among the pallbearers were Bill Russell Larry Bird and Kevin McHale which kind of sucked for the other much shorter pallbearers who had to hold the thing up over their heads. Are. Backs. Nine rings as a coach is only surpassed by Phil Jackson who won eleven six with Michael and Scotty three with Shaq and Kobe in two more with Kobe and Powell Ghazal. With apologies to the other guys on those teams who made a few baskets here and they're like, Steve. Kerr the Bulls. Rice Dave but I do know this. I will be the head coach of the DNC that cookie though man he's going to need a lot of work if you heard his sports reporting a horrible Guy. Kind. In other sports when you're hungry you're. Hungry. Sometimes, money is no object. Right? You got a thousand bucks and you need to get to, McDonalds what are you gonNA do Go to McDonald's with a thousand bucks. How are you going to get the McDonald's though you got no Ri- All you got thousand bucks how you GonNa get there I. Don't know I'm going to Las Hoover. That could happen. Yeah it's twenty twenty. There's all these options not Chad Ocho Cinco Johnson. Famous football player decided to Tweet McDonald's on Colorado Boulevard. That's open twenty four hours a day. Is there anybody in Denver, right now, who wants to make a quick one thousand dollars to pick me up downtown and take me to McDonald's I'm really effing hungry. Photo proof shows the hooded man showed up, picked him up and then he tweeted the Venom Oh for a thousand dollars to be his personal. one-stop Uber driver to McDonald's made a thousand bucks nine. Sometimes you've got to have a big Mac. Two. Thousand Bucks, he spent just to get a lift down the mcdon-. Joe One five KGB FM sports network. Out The ice cream machine was broken. Thank you fierce raccoon. Beer sexy raccoon. Getting on his head. She came in my studio earlier today all dressed up and I was like hey. You know what I am don't you does like craft what if I don't? That challenge for Dumb Guy. Not a good feeling I was fortunate. I was able to stumble my way through it. You to. She's an abacus. I know doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if it was my idea, I will not get it. There was a many many years ago that I accused Kimberly King. And Marianne Khushi. Of wearing pearls. On the news is a secret signal of their love to me. Because they were wearing every day. And I was convinced that's what it was. Actually. They thought that was Darlie. Not legitimate just. Darling. But they did they stepped up their pro game quite a bit and having my house painted at the time I came home and all the girls who were painting my house. We're all wearing pearls and they're all walking around going Touching their pearls the. Paint. Get. We're wearing Charles I can see that. Well. You talk about another eighty all the time and I'm like oh Stupid. Dense dense. Very. Say A lot of words than here. So not all of them are going to stick. Very very dense forgivable. Gear Dave I. Don't know why Boyer would ever vote if he doesn't trust the voting process, you remember this yesterday at the end of the show. Boyer proudly proclaimed I believe trump is going to win. So I said, what do you want to bet on that nothing? So? He So we got into a whole discussion whether he believes it or not. Because I feel that if you. Feel strongly about something. You probably would want to bet on if you feel like it's really going to happen it's almost like Two can't miss bet. Yeah. So I said, would you bet a big wad of cash on it and then his knees buckled and he got very wishy washy iffy and then that's when he declared that he didn't trust the voting process, right? That's what we got to the whole discussion on how do you think your guy's GonNa Win It didn't make any sense to us, and that's when we figured out. Well, it's because borders talking. Anyway Tracy says Tracey lives in Eureka. She says, I, don't know why boy or would ever vote if he doesn't trust the voting process although for some reason I suspect that this time. Is. The only time he has a really worry about it because he doesn't want to see his boy trump cry like a baby when he loses. Out Fighting words from Tracy over there? Well, he's definitely going to get to lose California because this is a an asshole state. and. We've got somebody sanctuary cities in illegal via four words for Boyer, Sierra Tango Foxtrot Uniform Lucky show is doll. Dear Dave. Regarding Boyer's Bet Tell to put his money where his foot usually is naked lap around the KGB building if Biden wins. I can tell you right now. And he will not take that bet. I'm not in control it. Too many things out of my. Not In control of it? Yeah. He won't take that back I. Love Your Show. So many many many people checking in. then. I got this one Dave. I was snacking on some dry roasted peanuts when you and boy arguing about constitution. And Boyer's constitutional right to waive gone around at seven eleven. And you said You'd stand there with your wooden your hand and I shot a whole peanut. Throat side of my nostril and it got stuck. Oh, I ended up in the hospital were they used a pipe cleaner to dislodge the peanut? OUTTA. My sinus Oh God a medically induced reminder why I love your show. Doll. Better Don lives in Rosina Rosina I don't know where that. Somewhere here in California. which boyer claims populated by nothing but those a Ha. Down, with a peanut. Wedge somewhere between his throat and is now I Thank you don sorry about the hospital trip you just you shouldn't eat or drinking listen. Don't drink. Listen. Definitely. Don't eaten listen. No under a got coffee stuck in their throat. But peanuts. Whole, dry roasted peanuts. Yeah Me Too what you're GonNa talk about a crackpot news coming up here. Well it's coming down to the wire and the presidential candidates aren't using this last weekend before Election Day to win over voters embattled around. Will. Take according to Boyer No. Okay. But Florida is one and it's getting close there according to people who studied that kind of stuff. We have another Bush Gore in Florida. The remember the dangling Chads and all that very vaguely that was the first election I got to vote in, and then the seem so long ago. The pregnant Chads, those the other one. Yeah. What else? our country hidden grim cove milestone. We'll tell you what that was at Thorndike's in British. One British county are really taking their current virus restrictions seriously. Hurt, people in France are evacuating Paris 'cause they. WanNa get out before it gets locked down mix Not. surprised. We talked about how tomorrow will be the first full moon on Halloween. Decades will not be the only slush show of it making Halloween a little bit spookier in scarier with a little bit of. What's going on? Yeah. I WanNa hear it came up with a very unique. Present. Yeah I do right here. The waiting to play. Well, do you know what Tanya did for his wife's fortieth birthday party? You know they all flew off to Tahiti right. and. They've got this private island. It's Kim Kardashians fortieth birthday. So it's GonNa be a big. Coupe do. For those who don't remember Kim Kardashian Father Robert. Kardashian was a famous attorney who was part of the the original OJ Simpson. Legal. Team. Getting off the hook for murder. That's how that's how that family really Kinda got the fame shinedown them. And Robert Kardashian died a long time ago. Remember what took him but he was very young man and. When often great reward. And so conway. Gave his wife. Spooky Ghost e Hologram of her father. Why you shaking me off. This made me almost here up. You liked. I. Loved it. Okay. It's emotional for Cam. Watching is very hot and cold on this thing people love it or they're like that is so weird. So Connie I, guess he hired a guy. Who looks like Robert, car? Dash. And He stood up there for about two minutes in a ghost e Hologram form. And like wished her happy fortieth birthday. From celebrity dead lawyer Heaven. Yeah, and they posted the whole the the message. On their twitter and whatnot. and. Just, about a minute in Konya made sure that the Hologram daddy got to the most important part of the message ready to hear that. The most beautiful thing that I have witnessed is watching you grow the family. You married the most most most most genius man in the whole world. Newest Wow I moved to tears too. Yeah. Would that was tears of the perfect moment of Comic Relief and? Long serious, and that was just a funny little terming thing is. I don't think that was supposed to be funny. We're supposed to be a dead serious commentary on the greatness of Ganja. I think he's genuine. Anyway. So he hires an actor who is dressed up to look like her father. And Then, they did the Hologram and so he who? event. Like a spiritual being and came down and did this and Kim was thrilled by it was absolutely thrilled button. But you could tell the conyers wrote that one. wrote the script. With the clever pat on the back, most most most most most most. And I'm proud Armenian. Yes. Most beautiful. Witnessed is watching you grow older. You Mary the most most most most most genius man the whole world was that. Case you forgot. So. Yeah. It's all hot and cold on this thing Sarah I loves it thinks it's sweet and touching and got peered up by Yeah. It made me direct coon. Here's a little bit. Watery I. You don't WanNa look like a like a bad said. Drunk raccoon maid of. Honor. Four hours after the wedding here with a God now raccoon mask streaks down your. Worth don't, tear off. You like it. You thought it was I thought that was actually. One of the most touching ideas for gifts that I've ever heard of my entire life. I can imagine I watched the whole thing I can imagine Kim which is probably sobbing. The whole thing. So special that was, would you think about that? I thought was. Typical Conway. Look at me. Look at me. Well. Okay. Go ahead. Just to put that in. It's just weird. It's just weird. And Kevin from him I guess it's what you would expect. Superman lead. Emily. We did discuss what do you get the woman who has everything points creativity because she certainly didn't have a Hologram of her father probably not yeah. I just find holograms. On bordering on creepy and it like when they rolled out to pocket tell I think it was or something like just. I don't know the technology's Kinda. Cool but. The technology aspect of it is cool. But the concept I just. I was disappointed that they didn't have a little art two. D. To shoot a Hologram out of that little projector from. Belt that's the first holiday I. Hope you'll be one KENOBI you're my only hope. Was My favorite Hologram of the mall. But did you think anything about a chainsaw? Creative creepy and narcissistic on you. Know. Creative. creedy. Narcissistic. Okay all right you. It's it's not my it's not my way. It's not my thing. But who knows they're not normal people, right? That's the thing we're normal people were regular everyday average people what these People do hiring seven seventy seven's to fly forty friends off to a private island and get online and tell everybody literally we know you're alive socks ours it sure doesn't. Even flew in Ghost. I'm not saying that's bad. They're like super normal people. But I can't relate to it. How's that? Anything else come up on the new on our website one one KGB DOT COM you. I don't know if there's any American horror story dance here on the show but the iconic murder house from the first season is open for Halloween checkout photos at our website along with their creepy and they're Kooky, the DC family. Yeah. Okay Have you ever been so mad at your kid. When you're driving. You wanted to pull over. Open the door. Kick. Them. Out. And just keep on driving. My bad mama by the. I'm not even saying you're a bad mom if you do it, I don't. But if you wanted to. You can relate to. All right. Well, I've got a story from Tina. WHO SAYS IT HAPPENED And it started up a whole discussion on. Could you get away with that kind of parenting in twenty twenty? Or would you be jet rain. So I, ask DS'S LISTENERS? What kind of hardcore parenting did your parents drop on? You would never ever. Work. In Two thousand twenty. Got Responses. I'll tell you about Tina and the dirt road. Coming up next year. Boban on from one five KGB. San Diego's the Friday Morning D. C. Show. Dave rickards emily. A Maguire and cookie chainsaw Randolph. Thank you for switching this on Tina. Got Me. Was Just in the last twenty, four hours. was telling me about how her mother wants dropped off her five year old brother. Because he was being a little Dick. They were on a dirt road. She dropped him off and left. She says Dave to be fair. He did have it coming door. She came back but these days child protective services would be all over that. Most. Like. It's why you don't teach these five year olds how to use the telephone. Call. Child Protective Services. Yeah you'RE GONNA get in trouble. I mean, it's bad enough with parents getting their kids whether at the store and whatnot. Yeah. Purposely kicking your kid out on a dirt road and then laying down some rubber leave. A little gravel in their face. So I asked our friends on twitter and facebook. Tell me. If they had any experiences with their parents when they were kids back in your day when your parents were raising you. Did they do something that would never fly today now. I I tried to think of one for my parents I can't think of one. I can't think of a single thing that my parents did. My parents were good and loving and caring people. And? They didn't. Date, in in my opinion, they violate anything GOTCHA. one afternoon or early in the morning my mom. To hear me I was. Just about eight years old and so she threw me on the city bus for the hour drive to go to my dad's work and be his problem for the rest of the day and I can't imagine putting my eight year old on a bus these days to write an hour by themselves even if your if your husband is dry because your dad was driving. All he wasn't. No she threw me on the city bus to get to his job. When he worked at sears, she'd had enough. She picks up lunch. She said your your father's problem now. Before phones and things like that. So that's an hour unaccounted hoping I show up at the correct bus stop good luck. We'll probably see it, but there's a chance that will never ever see you again. Were there any transfer is involved. I was pretty good. Now, this was a straight for. But took an hour to get there. Yeah. That's pretty good stuff like that. You know I did that with my kids it wasn't punishment, but I remember putting my kids who were. I'M GONNA say. They were little girls. Girls, and they wanted to go see their grandparents in their cousins and everything in Chicago so I put them on a plane. You know now was little. Allie was probably seven. Like that I, don't know my heart was in my throat. My mom put me on my first solo flight when I was four different Seattle to San Francisco. Kid I wasn't mad at them, but I was too. I was white knuckling the whole thing I was on the plane. Amanda says my mom used to drive around town in the bed of pickup truck full of kids in Great Danes. That's still a good time. We got a up truck and we do that with our. Senator complaints later. Ravi says my parents. Would send me out. You know how your parents will send you outside when you need to get out of the House get out of the House. Usually you're making noise you're being a nuisance. Send you out of the House to play Robbie's my parents would send me outside with a hammer and a fist full of bullets to entertain myself. What do you think of that bore? well, I think that's pretty brave. That's a lot of fun. Yeah. Katie says our job when we were kids was to go out in the forest in the backyard with whistles to scare the bears away. That was our job. More than once we chased the bears. Oh, my gosh. I didn't know whistles would scare away nor did. I Pj says our parents would send us out swimming. Our Pool was the drainage canal by our house. The. Very fast that third leg and. Now. Why do you like that? you're going out swimming yeah isn't heated. It's like, why do you have a pool now this drainage canal out there the kids like slop around in it. Would you be okay with that You would not send your kid out to slap around and Drainage Canal WanNa. I don't want him bringing that into the house. It's just buddy water. You can always him off before he gets him. This just muddy water and know. What you're thinking like Oh, my God it's gotTa Be Three Mile Island. Toxic Chinese sludge but. It's street water. Sticking to the car wash how about going out into the forest where the whistle scare the bears away. Wouldn't know would you let your child your child's bugging? Okay he's running around and running around. No energy is bleeding off. Would you give them a fist full of bullets and a hammer and tell him to go outside and entertain themselves But Oh man you're not doing any of this stuff. Not yet anyway, I haven't heard one yet. Would you let them right around the back of a pickup truck with a bunch of dogs and other kids? Now he'd be the kid that would jump out or something stupid like that. Would you ever dump your kid on a dirt road and just drive off? Brad says day we had lawn darts. They, just. jumbo-sized Darts. Day, they call them charts. I don't know why. But they were these big heavy darts heavy. There are big. You'd fit in your fist and they were heavy. There are weighted. So the throw them and they would come down pointy side. And theoretically you circle on the other side of the yard and you're throwing these starts trying to get them in the circle. Darts like Jumbo Darts Mash I. Guess that was the name Yeah. But we never played with the targets. All US kids would stand around dad and he'd throw all the charts straight up in the air and we'd scatter before they came down. I. Know. Why not? Because I don't want to have to explain that in the Er can you find lawn darts anymore those illegal now I think they're band they're gone on. ebay probably mistakes we had those. Young I mean that was cool. Having those things that was a fun game and you know one got a dark ahead and I house ever. We practice good chart safety. Yes. There's London but there's nothing pokey on these of this is embarrassing for our snowflake age these lawn darts they're just little plastic toys. That's what. Twenty twenty, one talk. In my day were made out of what steal boyer gap steel with big plastic fins on them and they had a handle on the back and then a kind of a pointed tip a long pointed shaft on the. Front. Yes they did. Thank you for describing what Dardis? Dear Dave, it was the middle of summer and santee. I was seventeen late getting back from my girlfriend's house. In time to help my mom cut the grass. When I got out of the car she threw a full-sized weed eater right at my head. While it was running. How Would you ever do that with your son? You'd never throw a full size gas powered weed eater running at his head now why deserves it? To clean up the mass if it hits them, Dear Dave I'm going to send you an email instead of posting on facebook my mom died recently and I have siblings that would not like to see. More here Day One day when I was a kid we were having an outdoor lunch the backyard. Everything Hamburgers, lettuce tomatoes, pickles, everything Blah Blah Blah Blah a dad was getting all the food ready on picnic table. And everyone was in such a good mood. Then up jumps, one of my kittens. At the time. A little tiny furry little kitten jumped up onto the table. Dad grabbed this cat with his right hand and hurled kitten across the yard. Catch. The kitten never came back. And I don't remember that we said a word for the entire rest of the picnic. Matter. Is just absolutely tragic. Oh, you're pretty offended for a raccoon eaten the woman's head. Reminds me of the horrible thing. My grandfather did do what did you call Grandpa? grumpy grammy okay. I like MPG I love people's names for the grandparents. My when my mom was a kid. Dad I dunno one of them. They had a cat and my grumpy heat injured grabby didn't like cats did the cat that'd be like Chris Borough be a crappy. So Day he put it in a bag with some rocks. Oh crampy. Happy Ah he took the bag to pond. Close by. Grammy wound up. Pond. Later, at some point, they returned home from wherever they probably church. Church. And guess WHO's sitting on the report that the? Cat Came Back I. Love that cat. We gotTA. Know. What. was that he just kept the cat then or did he try again screaming? Oh I think he I don't know. I mean honestly don't you. It's showed me. Probably. Taylor says my parents left me at Allied Gardens. They, didn't realize it until they got home. I was there for four hours. Now see that's a mistake right? Whereas Tina, little brother kicked out of the car on a dirt road on purpose. You gotta be impressed by Day My parents. Let me walk our German Shepherd at eleven at night age seven that dog was twice my height and not trained for a leash. I'M GONNA continue. The parenting. That, you were raised on. WOULD NOT WORK TODAY Little Miss Super Math League wouldn't it with her kid? Little Miss Advocates shirt. And you come. Sachet in here your advocate shirt and I'm thinking wow, she is hell bent for Leonard. Anything goes crazy mood she's in. She's wearing an abacus shirt. Wild. To do the ultimate escape room name right now. I can do. Time to call out a name, the ultimate escape room giveaway you know what this is. Thousand dollars worth the cool stuff from all housing to be in the room in your house that you want to go to and the kids are annoying you totally tricked out and there's no dirt road to kick them off on the. Twenty thousand dollars worth of stuff. The Old House Housing Pool Table Foosball Shuffle Board Wall Bar Barstools. DARTBOARD. Fifty inch flat screen TV's Chris Boy. If you call up perspire will explain to you what a DART is. Jay. I would you say his name news that news? J. Newsham, of Song Tae. The Tony Tawny suburb of San Diego, Song Tae you have ten minutes and fifteen seconds to call back. The Stop Watch is running right now J. Newsham. Of santee We pulled your name you registered at one one KGB DOT com. Time to get your entry right now, the escape room give away from the KGB. Think. We're getting pretty close to the halfway point. Of the NFL season. Sport, with the fastest moving season of baseball tags along Basketball. Football is already halfway. Come on. Come off. Here's. The. Ball on. Halloween every bowler. Although sports world. Emily's WANNA know aspects visit Utah State this Saturday night and Logan Utah the CBS sports network will televise and your radio call. We'll be right here on the one five KGB with Ted Lightner on play-by-play who says he is thrilled to call games on the same radio station as the DESC morons as favored by seven and a half. The Atlanta. Falcons love turning wins into losses so much. They missed an extra point late in the game last night to avoid clinching against Carolina about last the gods took the night off. Mrs Pets. Defense makes a play that's leading Wilson. And the Falcons a win a hang on in the fourth quarter. Twenty five, seventeen, the final. Carolina drops to three and five. While the Falcons improved to a sparkling two and six, which has their quarterback Matt Ryan Very encouraged we've been in every game. We played this year. We've had some crazy losses. Just to to be frank and I really believe that we've got the caliber of team to go in every game. We're GONNA play the rest of. The mindset but I have. there are at least four compelling matchups on Sunday Boyer's five and two bills hoping to show the two and four patriots who is the new boss in the AFC east the three and three Vegas raiders will visit Baker Mayfield in the five and two. Brown's the four and three niners visit five one Seattle in an NFC west showdown, and maybe the one to watch is the AFC north clash between six and a Pittsburgh and five and one Baltimore and Baltimore. The chargers visit Denver. and. This is marvelous. A former college track star named Andrew. Voss beat the world record for fastest mile while pushing a child in a stroller. The. Previous record was five minutes flat and he did it in four minutes fifty seven he says, he chose his youngest child to do with for. Obvious. Reasons to get world records. and. His five minutes and I'm like, that's doable. It'll be fun to look back and and being there with the kid of mine our youngest kid knowing that all the miles I put it with older kids. Whiter. Lighter Yeah Mr Voss said he studied how jockeys would cut weight in thoroughbred racing so he had his baby on a strict pedialyte only diet twelve weeks and was able to cut the kid down to below birthweight. Want to set a record or not. You should see the APPs on this kid I want to tell you. That I don't believe. Meanwhile in at all. My daughter got in the car the day she over my shoulder, she hit the radio a whole Taylor swift station came on chief programmed herself. When did you do that I hit another one and a whole? Katy. Perry station she hijacked the whole radio. I'm like when did you do that? She's like don't worry about it. Just make it louder. Imagine as a child getting in your father's car. And demanding, he play your music. Louder Lower Louder right there. Chief right there. You eventually came out of your coma. They. Would've told you a story of how arrogant you're. Why are you five years of your life? Association an NBA players are so exhausted from playing in the bubble for almost three months, which for the finalists extended into October, they are pushing back against the League wanting to start up this next season in December preferring January the players. This delay could cost the league around five hundred, million dollars in revenue two, hundred and fifty mill for the owners two, hundred, fifty male for the players and they know that going in. Out of four hundred and fifty rostered players this amounts to around five hundred, sixty grand apiece, which really isn't that much said the restaurant workers still waiting for that next stimulus check. That kind of wedding. It other Sports David. I don't know what kind of record that track and field guy set because there's no snow challenge to Britney Spears piled or twins goop. into a single kid stroller because you heard pork rinds and corn nuts round sale down in the jug at low no one's GONNA be. She's fast expansion. What KGB Sports Network. I'M GONNA CONTINUE With stories on facebook and twitter, and you can call me eight, eight, eight, five, seven, one, zero, one five and tell me what kind of parenting moves. Did your parents pull on you. That just would not fly to that. In fact, you wouldn't even do it yourself. Look at Emily over here. She goes home finds out that her child is committed mass murderer rocket banks just gives them a bag of marshmallows and tells them what a good boy is. Your plan your swing little. Kitty. And kind of corporal punishment has gone the way of the Dodo Bird. Monte. Is. Going to tell you. What happened to him? When his mother witnessed him winning the puddle splashing contest. All right. Now, you'd probably go home open up the lathe and build a nice trophy for your son for winning the puddle. Splashing contest. A lot of pride in that. Absolutely. But Monte. His mother had a different reaction. Now tell you that coming up next here. Money. My parents didn't like it when we did this kind of stuff. Palace bashing my parents liked safety. Yes. They didn't like it when we were doing this Canadian go for that kind of stuff. Off. The way the parents used to raise us. Talking about this today when Tina started at all. For whatever reason Tina road me to tell me? When she was a little girl, her mother had had it up to here with both of them. Particularly her little brother. And they were driving dirt road mom stopped the car took the five year old little boy throw them out on the dirt road and took off. Tina finished the story. I know what you WanNa hear MOMS circle back. She let them think about it for five minutes. All teen could say was he had come into that's it. That's all the story ended. It's a big question mark on what happened to Tina's little brother. He was probably raised by wolves still walking. I don't know he might still be waiting there Might be forty one years old and just waiting on the side of the road hoping that mother will come home right. World War veterans who did not know that the war was over hiding out the jungle. Rick. You're on the what's going on brother I Love Your Show Hi Love Yours. Rick tell me what happened. We my brother and I was seven I was. we were playing ping pong balls and setting them on fire. Got The drapes and the couch and everything you caught the drapes and the couch on fire. Me and my brother were experimenting setting a Ping Pong Ball on fire. What happens when you said a Ping Pong Ball on fire? Oh, it burns it. Flashes flashback. Does it. To, see okay. So. After everything was settled down and we'd put the fire out My mother took me into the into the bedroom. Here we go was. The talk and my father was out giving him the talk and the next thing I know I'm looking to the bedroom door on mom is standing there with a wire hanger wire hangers. So here we go. Bother picks my brother up and throws him across the living room. into the couch, he can fly. Since counts did a good impersonation superman. My mother meanwhile await wave the hanger and switch to that Yeah you get up you get up in your bed bunk bed and he was switching that thing is I was climbing. Inches. But yeah, that's an unmistakable sound. The swishing sound of a wire hanger. Yeah. It's got a very distinct sound sort the sound of a child flying through the air landing on a smoldering couch. Discipline. Thank you very much, Rick. Let's see. Here is Chris what's going on. Chris. Hi. Great, show. The show. Thank you. I I'm calling about like my parents who I guess. It's not as much of a punishment but I don't want punishment. I just want to know what their parenting skills were like. That would not fly twenty twenty well. Their parents my grandparents used to just talk them the car keys and tell them to you know go to the store or go pick up stuff when they were like ten twelve years old. This is the kind of stuff. I like Papa needs a new pack smokes. Here's the keys to the Eldorado. What what town they grew up in where was this? Benita. Here in San Diego. Diego. With a little more rule back then but it was pretty rural right now but I mean, it's not like it's Manhattan. Benita. Yeah ten year. Olds are allowed to drive Anita still aren't they? That'd be Nice I. Own Little bumper cars. Driving just ten. Moneda but only if you're going out to get papa his smokes got it. I. Love those stories about how kids would go down to the. To the store to buy their parents, cigarettes and booze. I would've loved freedom like that. Oh? My God. Thanks very much I appreciate it. Thank Chris. Thank you. Dear Dave. So when I was six years old, we lived in Fenton Michigan. And springtime brings plenty of rain. Our road was a little dirt road potholes mud all the other kids in the neighborhood were taking turns seeing who could make the biggest splash mountain turn came and apparently my mother was watching us. Today my turn came to splash away and I jumped as high as I could and water went everywhere. Oh the glee. I don't think I. had stepped out of the puddle for my celebration when my mother. was on me by the scruff of my neck putting my face deep into the bottom of that mud puddle. In her hurry. Basically waterboarding kid. In her age scared. Every kid there. There was never another puddle jumping contests on that mud dirt street again. I think I still have mud bayou. Russell. David was dinnertime. Now is mad at my mom and my dad for something stupid I told him I'm running away. My mother took one look at me and said sale later. This I did do I remember making a threat runaway or jump out of the window or something like that and I think I think my my father opening the window. Let me get that for you. It sticks. Act Serious. Your sales bit I bet that's the idea that they definitely went along with this one. Yeah. I made some sort of dramatic stage threat I said. Let me sharpen the night for you. So. I went outside and I sat on the Front Porch for a couple of hours. And I could see them through the window. Everyone was eating dinner. Now my parents had six kids. So. Sitting outside watching them eat made me so mad they didn't even care that I was gone. So I walked out to the pitch black no street lights and I started walking down the street I got about three houses down. And that's when I saw the car a lot of our driveway. And I started smiling. Car drives past me pulls over and stops my mom gets out walks to the back of the suburban I was so happy to see her she opens the back of the car and pulls out the vacuum cleaner. And walks towards me. Now before I tell you what happened? Why did mother? Pile into the suburban with the vacuum cleaner. And Chase her son who's running away down the street. To tell me going to need that at his new house. No. No, she needed the cord of the vacuum cleaner to spank him with this is about she did. She needed a good weapon tool own. Grabbed me by the arm starts spanking me with the vacuum cleaner courts I'm screaming and crying and carrying on all the neighbors came outside. They saw my mom whipping me with the vacuum cleaner cord and all they could say, Oh, Hey, daddy how you doing Dave I was six years old. All the parents are hey, daddy just like whatever. Now, my business, it takes a village to picket Dadis. All with their kids with vacuum cleaner cards and this guy's by the name his name is Russel Hoover. Oh. Wow. Had come into. Here now is, Oh, I lost the guy onto he hung up on me. His. Grandad used to take him out driving and we'd give them all beer while he was trying. Indiana I'd bet you. He'll call right back to Scott in Indiana. I. Just told Her story. Don't waste the toll call scat. Yeah. Paul Paul would take him out for a drive handout beers from a six pack. Yeah. They could reach it behind him in the truck where he kept it and give him one while he was driving he'd share with them. That's right that's legal in Indiana I lived there. I know these things. In fact, it might be required. If they pull you over. And you're in a pickup truck and you don't have a bunch of kids who can reach your beer, the better your truck, they give you a ticket. want to be caught with a true story. Raymond says, dear, Dave. When I acted up, my mother would drive us from our home. Eskin. Dido. All the way to genesee and leave me on the street in front of Juvenile. Hall we'll. Super Scary Pacho. Only take a few rounds around the block, but it was so scary outside I couldn't imagine the inside fortunately. I never saw most of those kids would scare grown adults today. took him to juvenile hall and dumped outside. Would you do that with your kid? One could have impact. You would never var. Ever ever ever. Ever. Probably now cooled. These are bad decisions you're making. A Bad Katie made a bad choice dumped in front of Juvie Hall. Tempting. But in practice peewee and knuckles will be out here to show you around the place in the second. Here's Brian on the what's going on Brian. Hey, good morning how you doing tiptop better now that you're on the show, what kind of parenting did you enjoy that would never fly today. When I was a kid. My grandmother lived out in Phoenix Arizona, so we drove from. Kentucky to Phoenix Arizona, and they put me in the back of a pickup truck with a camper shell mattress and the kerosene. Kerosene heater. And we had to ride in the back of the truck all the way to. I love that historic ends with a truck backing off. That's great. Kerosene heater a mattress. That's a hell of a lot more comfortable than the back of the Chevy that I had to drive to Boston in every summer. To kerosene heater put out so many teams that have just I was just wrote six way Tom Sorry to hear that. Yeah. And I had to ride the. Back home the same way. I gotta get. Back to Kentucky. Yes right GRANDPA's. GRANDPA GRANDPA's got the truck. Did You Did you enjoy those trips. That will not did not. Help out so much now do you have kids? No. I have grandkids up. Would you do this with your grandkids? God No. I'm sorry I bring kids. got figured that out. Bit of there is tricky for me. I did some guessing. Jumped to some. People. I appreciate them. All right. Thank you. Bryan. Trust me to figure that out but not you people. So that explanation was for you dumb dumbs. Welcome. Here's a Kevin on the DNC Kevin. How are you? Sir, better now that you're on the Shell, tell me what kind of my parenting you enjoy. My mom would send on the regular. To the next Alpha Beta get cigarettes and she would give us a note. To, give the liquor store owner to sell her children cigarettes. Yeah. And, we got to keep the change by can't on. What kind of smokes did mom and joy. Virginia Slam damage she is a sexy lady whose Virginia Slims. Take battled trailer hog. Give her a Virginia Slim and all of a sudden she's a supermodel. True Story. Thanks. Love Yours thank you. Heather. What kind of parenting did you enjoy when you'RE A kid? My Dad used to kind of wrote to the back of. A friend of mine I read our roller. Skate behind the Post Dad would toe you could. So on roller skates behind the car My father would never do that. I was abused as a child I was never allowed to do that kind of stuff. We always had to ride the back seat of the car. I think dad was the first person in the entire state of Illinois to insist on seatbelts. Put it. In there Hanging off the back of a cow. Head. Did you ever wipe out and dad keeps pulling or Ria smart enough like Oh the rope at that point. No See did knew he had a smart girl and Heather Schiller go the role of she wipes do not Stupi at the game. Eighty. I like it. Thanks how We're GONNA continue enjoying the parenting of yesteryear. You know what else you're getting? A little thing called summer school. Today on the ESPN. Show. porkers. Boyer. Was So distraught. And what he saw people renaming their dogs. Well he got drunk. And then he called his friend, Sarah. Commiserated whether. She a process of clean you. Already. have. Perfect dog. Omega. Did you get understand that you're probably not drunk. People WanNa tell me about parenting. That they enjoyed when they were kids, it would never fly. We understand that. Imagine. How will change in twenty years when? When things have gone on another general and. Here's Laurie. I don't like. Hi Do my mom I'm good. Thank you. I was required to make my bed before with the school and if I didn't make it right or if I forgot to make good my mom would come to class the me out of class and announced that I had to go home and make my bed. Take me home to make it and then bring me back. She would make sure that everyone in class new. The Shea. That you were bringing on the Family Boulogne Mike. How? That happened to you. not very many after the first time I was pretty on top of. Your bed made right now. NOPE? Mother's going to climb onto her. Deficit Pathway twelve years. Veterans. I'm sure you're standing there at the casket crying away go mom but I've never make my bed again. That's exactly what happened. Thank you Lord. Thank you. Joe On the DNC? What's going on Joe? Are you doing to talk me. When I was a kid. My Dad I grew up in several cockatoo might do so. Sketch. Sketch behind his truck. See we got in trouble for it. I depend on my brother goes sketching. He was the one who would drive the car my dad found out about it and we're all in trouble well, he used to do it when he was a kid so he thought it was safer and we did it with him because he wouldn't stop you know he wouldn't stop short or Until. One of my buddies wiped out wiped out on a bunch of garbage cans and then that's Like trial bowling. That's. My brother used amy for the garbage cans. Where did you grow up? suburbs. Melrose Park is where I was born got good sketching out there. Good stuff you need. Need Heart Pat on the streets you know what that is getting. You've told us an in blinking you're getting toby car and some see it snows and then the cars driving and they packed down the snow. So every street is basically just a a ski hill. It's just a ski slope so you just hang onto the bumper. And then a smart driver, a smart and skilled driver and wheel takes off while you just ski. While being propelled by the vehicle. And apparently might add that was unsafe and I don't understand why what's on safe about it the cars in front of me. I wasn't skin off the front bumper, not thinking don. Dobie kid who is holding onto the front bumper skin backwards. All right now you got me. I knew how to do it. Yeah Riot. Oh, it's a lot of fun. We got in trouble. Any of these fun parents that people had James says in sixth grade, we lived as homesteaders in the mountains of Montana. and to be driven five miles to a school bus, stop catch a bus when twenty five miles down the mountain to school every night I'd be picked up at that five Mile Mark by my folks go home one day Stepdad decided to Honky Tonk in town and never made it to the bus stop. I waited as long as I could then I decided to walk it hoping they'd show Nope I walked the entire five miles pitch-black on a logging road all sorts of varmints and critter showing up made it back lit the kerosene lamp Read my text books and cried myself to sleep. Oh. Oh Say I won't to see my mother's face wracked with guilt for my Stepdad's negligence. Add that the time they accidentally left me at a truck stop like Joe Dirt and you've got a CPS wet dream. All right. Jeff says Dave when I was about five, my mom left me in the car. So she could go into the navy commissary I woke up and tried to sneak in but I couldn't make it because I didn't have an ID card. Theresa says, I was six years old at a restaurant with the whole family and one of my stepbrothers was acting like a total jackass. and. While my dad told him numerous times to knock it off. He just wouldn't without Schiavone beat my dad carried him out of the car. He had to sit there and the entire time while us. Good children. Spent the rest of the meal and dessert. Laughing, and pointing at my brother through the window. I still think about how no one would get away with that one today Oh. My God if you have your kid in the back seat. You. Park. And you take more than ten seconds to get your kid out of the backseat people show up with bricks and start breaking your windows. These people would take their kids out and put them in car jail while everyone had desert who Dave I was fifteen years old almost sixteen. My Dad had me drive him to proctor valley in his Oldsmobile to practice for my driver's test. When we got there. He got out of the passenger side and his friend showed up. And he told me twits that was his nickname for me. and. This is a young lady who's running in his channel said toilets. It's required by law that you change a tire and the oil before you get your license and he left me there. I was scared of the proctor valley after, but I changed the tire and I check the oil he showed up some time later and said he was just around the corner the entire time and he would not sign off on me getting my license. Now, that's the kind of stuff that Chris Boyer Signs, Office Plus Parents Hunt percent you gotta be competent with Equipment Baby Absolutely. If you just explained to a fifteen year old girl today I, WanNa teach you how to change the oil and change the Tire Dodd I. Don't think so. I'll see you when you're a Hologram at my birthday party. No thanks. So this guy decided, he just drove out to proctor valley and and just lied to her and told her this is all part of the driver's test. And left her there honor him. and she changed the tire. Excellent Matthew says I used to live by Lake Calaveras in Carlsbad. Hitting there. I did something dumb one day. My Dad was pissed off. He knew about my boat. So he said, let's go fishing. He, had me get in I grabbed the ours and push me in the lake. That he knew all about the bad things I'd done. Throw in a lake emily. Very nice. Would you do that with you're a little kid probably not. Tracy says. I didn't clean myself up like my mom asked before we went to the grocery store. So she just ignored me the whole time. I was probably five years old I cried and cried while she shopped and said, go away little girl and find your mother. I cried it's. Own. She denied her. How do you like that? Go Away Little Girl. Jonathan on the DNC what's going on Jonathan? What kind of parenting did you experience when you're a kid that would not fly today? Good. Morning. David and the finest radio show in the world. Well. It's the best show ever is what it ever. Okay. I'm just trying to make my own I understand. We're. In were like a rural area and my dad just couldn't resist. Hitting bumps and you know you know off roading. and. We were always in the back of the truck me and my brother. And so he decided to take this trail and we hit. Some big bumps and I flew right out of the truck and he and he kept driving. And then my brother. I got launched. Dude us. and. Then my brother ended a crack tailbone and he's just laughing And, it wasn't a drinker. You know what I mean. He just couldn't resist a big bump. There's a bump refund. So I I just I rolled around a little bit and then I got up, they started laughing because that's what we did back then dude. Much John on the DNC what's up John? Hi my mother used to drive. To The beach my twin brother and my three sisters and I We'd be sitting on the back of the backseat on her convertible with the top down here and sixty miles an hour down prayers road. She'd have a smoke and a beer in her hand. She got pulled over one time and and she was a good looking woman and She talked your way out of the ticket and we stayed on the back in the. Backseat and all the way to the beach I'll about that she talked the policemen out of the ticket. I'm surprised it's not polite to talk with your mouthful, but hey, got out of the ticket. John. Sitting on the back of the convertible like a parade queen. Waving, of course, they're going sixty instead of six mile. What's the fun in that? Going six miles an hour gotta have the wind in your hair. Down the DS eight am. Yes immediately, your mind for the doll. All right. Well, thanks for just. What what are you saying you with that though? We're. Having names already pre. A big kiss. Friday, morning with the DSP on the KGB. Pal Ernie. Any. Falls. So there you are what's going on or? Do you want to hear my story is? I used to take karate when I was about thirteen and we were living in Denver and I mean this little lane it's not that bad but one Sunday I had to. Go Their class and my dad got picked me up. So the whole night. In the dark with just my karate uniform and and no get. Guess what most people sleep at night so nothing happened. And that's the end of the. I'm happy on the radio you guys that's still got to your prices and boyer is genius usually. You have you have analyzed Chris Boyer and you've determined that he is a genius is that what it is earning? Well because we're both drummers why? Did you go very far with karate earning did you get yourself? A book right now and I'm working on it and my own pace because it would cost fourteen to go every day you know weeks I have the book way down when I practice. Indoors. In my house at the thirty Wesley. I love you dave. Thank you I. Love You too. That's where he does karate practice. I wonder if he's up to black belt yet. ooh. Determined. Man I. Love Matter I love that guy. and He loves Chris Boyer. WHO Doesn't? Summer School is coming up this morning, the Friday tradition fact. In line. Were Great Halloween Prize for Summer School. got. Choose the champion who's going to win on summer school. Today, we're going to try and understand what the Hell Sarah's daughters summers trying to say we'll be Halloween clues to that. Can Choose Emily Chris Boyer. chainsaw. Poor on articles, your contestants. And if your champion wins are going to give psychic psychic reading. From Crystal Thomas. One hour on the phone social distancing psychic reading. From Christel you can book and Intuitive Guidance Reading Tarot Card reading and much more at touchtone. That's touchstone talk dot Com. Hooky. Psyche greeting is you prize if you plan on summer? Summer school coming up in just a second here. I watching to know this hour. Brought to you by our friends at Asi, the White Glove guys you got plumbing heating air conditioning solar systems at your house, you're going to need help with it. Or maybe you'd like those systems at your house. We can do it for you just call Asi Wyckoff guys for Fast Family Friendly Service. cokie random. Deemed of American sportscasters, the KGB walking bombing and David at hello got everybody in both sportsworld. ANNELIES WANNA know Aztecs visit you state this Saturday night and Logan Utah. The CBS sports network will televise and your radio call. We'll be right here on the one on one five. Ted Lighter on play. Ted The game is on Halloween night, which begs the question. Do you believe in goes Ted Lightner. Unbelievable. What do you think of the believers? Stupid Aztecs favored by seventeen. The Atlanta Falcons have been very creative they're season in the ways they turn victories into defeats last night they missed an extra point gave the Carolina Panthers Hope, in the fourth quarter but the Falcons actually held on to win which sounded like surprised. Even the Falcons Announcer Ladda on a short week goes to Charlotte and wins the Falcons beat the panthers twenty five to seventeen. Yeah Carolina drops to three and five while the Falcons improve to a hopeless to six. The two and four Dallas cowboys are also hopeless again. As owner, Jerry Jones even after twenty five futile seasons still thinks he's the reason the Jimmy Johnson cowboys one, those three super bowls back in the nineties. Barry Switzer to. His new coach Mike McCarthy has not made a difference so far the team continually getting off to slow starts and then slow middles and then slow finish anyway yesterday a report on Zoom Conference call asked the coach McCarthy about the slow starts which another reporter thought was such a dumb question you could hear him say God. Check this out. To. Start. Is that something that you take a look at seeing whether or not? He? We structure the practice week or that? Pop The table. So like the question. Was a major. Don't even bother me who cares Jesus. McCarthy's response was downright tame compared to the late great baseball manager sparky Anderson who had little patience with reporters especially with what they wrote. One. People will call you and you're trying to be right with people and you pick up compare this toll plus no, I don't think you have to do that. If you're GONNA shoot right what problem writers and be good to them and everybody else and then. I don't think it's right. East started. A four cowboys visit the two, four and one. Carl. Game in, which eagles? Are Favored by nine meanwhile. Grew up in the sticks. In Maine Halloween. That was great. Trick or treat in my. House is a five miles apart. Running a marathon with a costume on. A couple of miles ago Cup of water. Keep Brandon Batman. People remain will tell you that and telling you notice that. Pretty cold out tonight. I'm telling you. Boy Yeah. You're looking at me and everything I. Hope You tell me. Everybody, has a truck to we have a truck we know someone that has a truck. That's why anybody in this room can ever truck down here in five minutes if we needed one. I can say I'm going to move this microphone stand. Well, I'll go get my brothers track. They tell you. Truck their brother had my brother got to fifty lay half-ton shabby would walk by him. House on the sidewalk. I'm telling you. Sell Asia. Economies have suffered greatly this pandemic and the NBA is no exception dropping ten percent of their normal revenues for this past season losing eight point three, billion dollars. Wait what? Ten percent, the NBA makes over eighty billion dollars. A year would have been even more had. They not finished the season that bubble which recouped or recruit. Darn French words Crud Stupid France let's just say they gained back one point five, billion in revenue in the NBA bubble it's like those French have a different word for everything. They do it other sports summer school is difficult. It's challenge. It's hard to figure out what these little kids are saying Then you bring on a big kid who just got a great big old mangled jaw I don't know what she saying on what the tone is. I can't make hundred. Once you say. Say Love your show. Yes I think she did. Yourself. I think you said, I, love your show. Okay what. Summer School is next. Eight thirty three one second industry show. No one five KGB FM sports. Network. Oh. Time. Time for the bed. The recall summer school but it should be really called what the hell is that kids saying too. I don't. Understand a word. Friday morning. We're celebrating Halloween today. which is great because all the girls Christopher Halloween. Sarah's dressed up. Sexy but fierce raccoon that is eating on an on Avar Raccoon is. Honest dressed up like a skeleton with a little baby. SKELETON INSIDER BELLY. For Little Unborn Baby Bob. Franken baby, most fearful of all. DRESSED UP ABACUS as a super math league today. While don today ladies. Thank you let's meet our players. We've got chainsaw he is playing for Josh Today. Emily, you will be playing for Robert Robert Boyer. Playing, for Danny. And Ana. Is playing for Jenny here. Doing. Janney. I I'm doing great. How are you? I'm great. I'm sorry to say that you have on our as your contested today on. Pretty much regarded as the. Ringer on. So our school but Chris boy, of course is the fan favourite would you like to switch? Switch you Danny and you can have Chris, for. You know I was so I one rolling stone quickest earlier this year from you guys at Ovid pretty much canceled that so I'm putting all my faith in ten and on us. So she better come through own. Plan for a psychic reading today for Halloween, you're playing for a psychic reading if you win I will give. Back. Well if I if you win will give you that that psychic greeting and I will give you the rolling stones tickets again and I'll put you even in the front row. How's that sound? Oh my on. You. GotTa do this. Of course that concert is canceled and it's never been rescheduled but I'm giving you and I'll put your backstage if you want. Yeah, no one will be there except for you Jenny. Or Walk into that one either burn. Butter make it happen But I love you. Jenni. Nicely done Halloween. Halloween today. What is that kid saying? Why do we have such a hard time understanding what our producer Sarah what her daughter summer saying well. Because many many many years ago when summer was born, there was a hiccup. A snafu. And during birth or lower jaw was horribly snagged on the birth canal. And tries they might doctors three or four doctors both grabbed a like and they just pulled and pulled and pulled and pulled, and there was a lot of tearing a lot of flesh flying. Got Bite. And they finally tore her out of the birth canal but. Her jaw was forever mangled. So she talks like a putz. And Summer School. What the Hell's the kids saying buzzing when he can tell me what Halloween clues the child is saying. On all following land, you are a ringer. got that. Course double the points because she got it right out of the box chainsaw s the scoring nightmare begins today. Let's listen to the instant replay. Not sure about this one. Help me out here Rachael glorying nightmare begins. The Oh meaning what? Candy, Corn Howls Current. Candy. Corn. You like Halloween. IDEA. Will you be giving out treats to the little kitties. Tomorrow we've never had trick or treaters, but I buy candy every year just in case for what did you? EMINEM and regular these Frankenstein receives peanut butter cups, like Green, reseize me `this pampered macy's macy's reese ts reseize. Okay. Reasons. and. Then I also by. I. Kind of chocolate candy, which one. Berga. dolled. Up today some GONNA. Is just that for WHO You are make. Hardly recognizing. Combed your hair I did a lot this brush, your teeth I know Gee, Whiz new world. You look in the prom later today or what's going on. All coming off instantly when I get home can stand it. No I I run. My is a lot so. Make up all over Mexico during Cohen they weren't found you recommend. Her NIEHAUS. That's on again. Haunted House her Niehaus. Score, it is cookie zero Boyer's Emily Zero and. The has six anyone else wanNA play. Well it's not good enough. Is it? No it's not advocates the woman I know super math late. I'm GonNa make the six point question tell. Emily. Took treat take. Of course. What else could it be tell Jake? Right. Would you just win. A, lot. Around. Nicely done twelve point. I think I heard Chris Boyer. Per Square that is cost to you. Hi Shoe. Nicely done cross-border, sir. Check kind of scary and whispered this one. I. Make Fifty points from Right now. Emily Black cat. Just picked up one hundred points. GonNa need another shirt. Only go to sixty. That's it for that shirt. That's done useless. Truly, a beginner advocate shirt. One. Hundred and twenty points scarry again. Emily Skeleton. Again. What do you mean? There's an extra. syllable. Security Gang. Eighty. Cookies zero all six Boyer twenty-third Jack Bauer Emily Three hundred fifty two holy cow who's who's got zero cookie what do you need? Cookie three, hundred and fifty two, dot it cooks. Cookie to what do you need cookie three, hundred and fifty two. A. Three hundred and fifty two. Who'd you hear their? Sarah. I heard on here ANA. Ghost. I don't think anyone's GonNa get this one. Point. Valley. Seven hundred fifty. Yeah I think this one's just too tough. Might have to come back to this one in extra innings. One more pass. We'll come back to that one, same, three, hundred and fifty points. No one's going to know that one. I. Tried to get tough. Isn't it? Wait are they start to get? In freaking possible. Why don't we get to that right now. Five thousand points. Get that one in you win floor. Yeah that's not even not even trying. All. You get this right you win. Go ahead. Jack Lantern. Impossible. It's impossible that you've got though. My God play for second place with the other ones where. To be can do these. Kinds of moods, very moody child's. schedule. That is vampire. Try this one. Girl. This. Girl. You don't care now I, don't. Really I know it. This is a current one known to throw. She is a mush mouth. Full. That is the date of hallowing. October thirty well Duh. pair. Advocates shirt borough. Should be allowed to guest number questions. Questions the answers have numbers in them. I mean you have an unfair advantage. Over thirty first saving and figure out this one half how? No. No. Looking. has this. And he gets there on. Haunted houses. Now, do you know the other name? For October thirty first. All hallows following. A did you say, Halloween? The other name for it Chris Boyer was was giving you the answer. All all eve. That's it. How how No. No looking. House this. Close. Yeah. Try this one. Off. Don't be normal legally. Our. Exorcist. That's the sound. The little raccoon baby makes eating. Nightmares. Nobody normal legally be. Okay, that's a guess who's got. that. Wasn't word. Got It. Holiday. A. Holiday. Do? This. One. Here's Canada. Canada they great Halloween Tradition Canada. Now, that was a carnival you'll know this one on your ready. Yeah. Thanks. Frankenstein Frankenstein. And the last. Talk. Practical. Chocolate chocolate crackle. Crackle. DRACULA DRACULA. Similar point out of victory in the fifth inning. Normal looking when. There is no being normal. As it went for emily that's a win for Robert. Robert is going to get the psychic reading. From the Ladies Night Smash, a sensation christel Thomas a one hour over the phone psychic reading from Christel Book and Intuitive Guidance Reading Tarot card reading, and more. Touchstone Talk Dot Com. Well done emily. Blew up the game mid game. She knew it. was coming up in the happy news next year. We're GONNA talk about cove and how it's not going away. Now we're turning that corner not sure what corner on tell you what's going on there? We've got news about the murder house you can. Check out for Halloween along with our costumes at one and one cage dot com. Pictures up yet. Right on. Emily's got her advocate shirt on cushy super math Lee. Yeah Has got her Franken baby shirt on. Sarah dressed up like a raccoon. Baby Raccoon that is eating honest. Very Dark, very dark. And she's still sexy about it to. The perfect combination. freaky sexy. crackpot news is next Jason. Choose. Crackpot News Team been here working here since this morning to bring you our top stories and I think the top story. About Halloween Candy I have the worst candy you can possibly give away. Okay. We need to know. Have you gotten yours yet we're not you're not getting no we we lived in this complex couple of homes and got. Traders, what would you get if you were out shopping today pack that had some sort of Eminem's and snickers because that's what I want leftover. Okay. That's good. Stuff boyer. You're doing the same kind of thing. Yeah. I'm buying a box of probably butter fingers butterfinger. Great. How about you sir? I'm going to retreating. But if I was to stay home, I'd get the reese's peanut butter cups. So if you go trick or treating, you don't have to go home and Hannity out to the kids at the deal. Now, we don't even have side Awkward Weird Straits who got you even have pedestrian. Sorry. So no one showing up at your house but if you were, you'd be handing out good stock. Well. Here's the list. These are the these are the candy's here they are. that. Hit the bottom of the barrel. And I'm GonNa give you the bottom tenure entity. Oh here and bugs me I see this every year because I like this one but smarties are one of the worst. Gandhi's ever get them out. Don't like I'm. Disappointed when you find them, they're just going to unwrap in the bag and they get dusty and crushed up. Okay. All right. I can't argue with any of that stuff. I have never had a poor factory wrap job on my smarties before. And then the desk gets on your fingers and it's just. Okay, I'm. Not. GonNa Defend. It. Next up ruth used always defend these. Remember it. good Tutsi roll. tootsie rolls. Let's make a candy that looks like a turn. Hurts to eat. Peanut butter kisses what is that? Hershey kisses flavored peanut butter south sounds amazing. They're one of the worst ever. Next getting closer and closer to the worst of them. All bit o honey. So you understand what most of these cancers it's like talk? Yeah. Most of them are just like roofing talk. Your Dentist Love Them Bit O. Honey. How about? No honey. None. None of you like bit hind. Weird. Kill your teeth. Yeah. But thought ago yesterday by the way. You fixed. I. Just I took it to a dark place just not did I. It was bad. It went bad to get shot up Novacaine the whole thing. How many cavities did they find? Only two. Okay. All right. Why was it so bad just because it was an unpleasant uncomfortable thing I have another area that was previously worked on. That's not. Healing. and. So they ended up I'll they didn't they're just saying up when I might need to go to the root canal and that word made me physically cry. Yeah I would too ever had a root canal. I I never thought I have the mouth for that kind of stuff. Root Canal you know what that is. I don't know this is going to say that's a dull time. GROWNUP dental problems right there I when I had a root canal mourned. You. More I'm more like I was losing part of my body. I got all depressed and the Denzel's tough buttercup Redo the crap overnight had no bedside manner from. That's hurtful Next up on the hideous candies is good and plenty nothing good and unfortunately there is plenty of. Next, NETCO wafer. What hideous. Rather have the rest of your candy. All you can ever have, and you have to have candy every day neck waivers or smarties which wants Marty's. I think you're a little too quick to judge the poor innocent little smarties now did you see there's some really bad candy out there as it should be it's progressing I know that smarties deserve to be on the bad list don't think. And this is a perfect placement for them. I don't think they still mad about that I'm sorry top four wax coke bottles. Oh, Jesus. Number, three circus peanuts. Why do they still exist? Who likes them my body husband in my mother eat those we're. Excited when they get to share them or whatever because they found the only other personal planet who likes them? What did you say I would eat them I like circus peanuts. We've got circus peanuts off of you those. So, closely married. Sakarov. Number, two is candy corn. The very traditional Halloween candy. Candy corn. What's number one? got. Number one wax lips no. He's got one more. The. Black and orange wrapped taffy. Isn't it Yeah. That's not it. GotTa guess on its her I guess it's going to be candy corn. It's liquorice which shouldn't even be made anymore. Licorice shouldn't be made. This is back in the days when they didn't have real candy all they had was just dried molasses sitting out in the sun drying on like a fender and that's all they could afford. That's all they could invent for kids the some tasted or maybe they make them go chew on a stump custom. Sad came out. Oh? Yea Candy Alright is twenty twenty. You know we make candy that comes out of moving machines and whatnot liquor should be gone the way of the Dodo bird nonsense. Likes it only old people? Young people that like liquorice. If your baby likes liquor you just Benjamin. Button. Exile hundred, your baby is one hundred years old. Originals you like those. It's an old man candy. It's like those Pearson's Coffee Nips. and. Why would you want a piece of candy that makes your breath stink? Old Coffee. Old Candy. All of these are all daddy's yeah. You're pretty. You're pretty critical for a guy like circus peanuts. Worst. I have a complicated Palette. Do you find women crawling all over you going to breathe on me circus peanut breath not yet? Not. Yet. What did you choose for our top story today? It's coming down to the wire and the presidential candidates are using the last weekend before election. Day To win over voters in battleground states. Here is how they're spending their last days on the campaign trail. Our President spent yesterday in Tampa Florida, which is a key swing state and no. Republican in recent decades has reached the Oval Office without winning Florida. At that rally, he told supporters that former vice president Joe Biden is not a nice person. Joe's a little bit off. Let's face it sleepy JOE is shot. And I'm not a fan of his and he's not a nice guy just feel better if he was a nice guy couldn't say these things he's not a nice guy. He doesn't remember whether or not. He used to be a nice guy More than a dozen supporters that trump rally in Tampa are now recovering because of needing. Medical attention due to heat. They had firefighters spraying down the crowd. There was so hot in. Florida yeah you know I got this interesting email from Pete. And I think he makes a good point. Dave. I'm getting mixed message from the trump campaign, which one is it either Joe Biden is sleepy Joe or he's a criminal mastermind that was taking in millions from foreign countries. It can't be both cannock really doesn't seem like you're the sleepy dopey guy who doesn't know what his name is right or you some sort of master criminal What's up with that too good point Pete I like it. All right. What else do we have Our Vice President will be in flagstaff in Tucson to garner support at two rallies. Today and trump is making the rounds in the Mid West hitting Michigan, Wisconsin and Minnesota all in one day and then Pennsylvania tomorrow he is going to focus on the economy's recovery amid the pandemic. Now, as the former vice president Joe Biden he made pitstops in Florida Ahead of this final weekend, he spoke about protesting police brutality in condemned violence of any kind number two. Protesting. Is Not burning your Ludi violence must never be a tactic tolerated and it won't. But these, but it is right. For one hundred, ten nights in Portland protesters aren't a cry for justice. The names of George Lord. Brianna Taylor Jacob Lake. Will Not Be forgotten not by me not by us not. By this country. Senator Harris is campaigning Texas. Biden is expected to tour Minnesota Michigan Iowa and Wisconsin where he's trying to rebuild a blue wall and he's also called in his former BFF President Obama to help campaign for him I saw video on twitter yesterday of a whole a whole slew new stores that was getting Looted yesterday because of protests in Philly, I don't know where it was I've I've lost track I couldn't even tell was a clothing store one was a walgreens and forget what the other one was that I. saw I assume they were on the same city but I I can't take these politicians who tell me that protesting is not looting it's like well, it's happening you call it whatever you want the to different actions but don't act like it's not happening. Don't discount. He's acknowledged it as a real problem. He's condoning it. These condoning it I'm sorry he's denouncing the looting part saying you should be able the protests but not loot he's been saying that he saying he's been saying violence is not the answer. What else do we have? Walmart has taken precautionary action for I believe the second time this year and They have pulled the guns and Ammo from their shelves. They of I salute locked him up in the you can still buy firearms and ammunition at Walmart, but they are doing this. In an abundance of safety for their associates and customers in fear Get run down. Yeah. Of course yesterday, we hit some Gra milestones when it comes to coronavirus here. In the US, we pass nine million infections, which is the worst in the world we had a single day record number of cases at ninety, thousand, four, hundred, fifty, six, and nine states recorded case high. So nine million. Overall ninety thousand new cases, nine states with records. PICKING UP A. Key number then at. So not good with here in. San. Diego are positivity rate has hovered around three percent are rolling. Average is two point eight for two weeks. So. We're we're staying low here, which is good. over in England there is a British county that is letting the residents. No, we are taking corona virus restrictions very seriously and their police commissioner in this particular county West says said, he will send out officers on Christmas. Day. To break up families who have gathered together to celebrate Christmas. No kidding. He says that you can't have a family get together not over England You mean like just the people who live in the house in house but you couldn't have your visitor family over you can have people from another house right into your home even if their family and this is where this is in Westchester County, which is in, Britain okay. Is it someplace that has population of like four people? I don't know. Okay. he says. It's not the police's job to stop people from enjoying Christmas, but we are there to enforce the rules that the government has made. So he's letting people know we will crack crackdown. We will be patrolling on Christmas Day I what you want here in America no I wouldn't Wanna be those cops I know Americans who want that really yeah they want the stuff mandated. this county has just shy of three million people. Way They can do that. There's no possible way they can possibly patrol that. Seems it's a threat it's an empty threat. Anybody would have a brain can figure that out to try to discourage I'm here to tell you I've got half a brain. figured. It out. I mean. I. Don't I'm not super advocate woman, right but whatever. And things are getting. Dicey over in Europe of France suffered multiple tax in just under twenty four hours in niece three people were killed in a knife attack at a church on the same day a man carrying a knife was rusted near a train station in is billion. Lions. Okay. Thank you and then a similar thing happened in another town and the suspect was killed this they believe it was all acts of terrorism. They're not sure if they're all together but it's been a string of attacks over there. That is not pretty Chris Collins worth wants to know if he can borrow your advocates shirt. To keep score on. Sunday night football. With year, booby stale landed. No but I'll let you wear it Chris that I'd like to see. All. This was on her. Excited they take it back never washing. He loves you I. What else? Lucky meeting? I don't know if you've been to Costco and stores like that recently but people are stocking up again and shelves are Empty Again Burger. No Good luck, finding, toilet paper, and paper towels. Once again, people are also taking out sanitizer and cleaning supplies glove wipes soap. So if you wanted to stock up if it's not to try to. Charge you now that we've told you that there's a panic in the streets. Get those canned goods and pastas and long lasting shelf foods. We bought a bunch of that stuff. We've touched a single one of them Until we got a like a set of fire in the middle of the living room to stay warm I. Don't think we'll worry about. Also, well-stocked. Medicine Cabinet is important. They saying anything else So on our website, one, one KGB dot com, you can check out a photo NASA took of the sun looking like a giant floating speech Pumpkin really looks like Jack Lantern, face it was shot back in two thousand fourteen, but it's been reposted and it looks cool does very halloween. Awesome. Yeah. It looks sinister Yeah. That is cool. And look to the sky as an asteroid about the size of a Boeing seven forty seven is expected to zip by Earth thirty, six, thousand miles per hour were dozens of those every day. Turns out. It was a seven thirty seven. Asteroids, with wings. What time is that going by? The time. So just look up all night. They sent him Bruce Willis in St she me out the land on that one. Blow it up with a nuke. Course Thomas to move. and WHO's the? WHO's the other guy? The Not? Matt. Damon the other. Guy. Ben Affleck at his arse. He is his saliva glands were on overdrive. Your bills to both. Awful. At the end of that movie. They're all flying home on space shuttles. Bruce Willis stays behind to blow up the bomb manually. Because all the automatic. Trigger supposedly just because he wanted off the movie. That's it. Just. Stayed behind him blew himself up and we never saw me again another movie. Sadly Ben Affleck got away. I tried to save. From, only cared about himself at that point. Blow me up turns out the asteroid wasn't even a hitter if he still wanted to. Just, one. They can even help you the name of your dog. All. Are you. was. With what? Jabarin for half an hour. With the name your dog. Names early. For their dogs yeah man. Click on devotion to dogs dot net. and. Watch. What did you say? We're going to have an air checks. I should Mr Hall. You can't hear the smile. Name Your diag. A perfect dog. Own Regatta. Brown Dr Trump people. All right. All right. All Alright. You too. He's not. What else is happening in our crackpot news today? No Kanye West. He came up with quite the gift for girl that it's got to be confusing. What do you get someone who has? Touching. I. Can take you seriously. Sexy coon over that. Weird now. What's going on he gifted Kim with a Hologram of her late father Robert Kardashian and in the. Couple Minute speech that Robert Gibbs him he tells her how proud he is of the whole family how he's watching over all of them how he loves the fact that she's continuing his legacy by studying to become a lawyer and then he also commenced came on this decision number three you. Most most most. Jeez. Own. About about both bows bows, that's five that's at Harvard law certificate showing up right there. What a speaker? WHO Kim loved it finally. Called it the most thoughtful gift of a lifetime special surprise from heaven. I think everyone should have Chris boy or a Hologram of Chris Boyer Show up at Your House talk to you about the name that you gave your dog. Talking in that Way What did you say? A hologram. Yeah, he's drunk. Speaking of that birthday trip. Khloe was on with Ellen and attempted to defend him in the backlashes getting. Don't think she gets what people are upset about the here's what she said I haven't heard a lot about it but I did hear that people were upset that we all went out of town. I don't really know the extent of it, but this year is a frustrating year. Get it. It is frustrating it. It's they don't care. Town they care that you rub their million dollar birthday. All. US. Ended Ailing was taken. The poor people cited she go home and kicker maids. In reaction into threat. clean my. House. Kim does show up on the list of Popular Celebrity Halloween costumes for twenty twenty at number nine Kim costume dress up like Kim. Any guesses on who is the number one celebrity Halloween costume FAUCI. All Is it super math league girl with an abacus entertaining. And also. The the one road that's right on your nipples you keep moving back and forth online. Learners we. All right. Well, that was my guess. What do you think for? trump. Is Trump no. He thinks. Aaron. You're right. That's a generic thing. Not a celebrity Oh. Okay. All right. So what celebrity who's making the most Oh is it the Carol Baskin with a flowers in her hair? No. August we don't know where to dump. Number one is Arianna `grande. On, a house that in how right? Well, she has a new album i. know if it sparks stuff number twos, Britney. Well, that's. What is serious a survey from twelve year olds Jerusalem. It was vural old shouldn't allowed. It shouldn't be allowed to play, Halloween should be for adults. Where Big Girl Bras? Google analysis of the. First Liberty. Halloween costumes that's the celebrities the big reveal just a yesterday or the day before from the masked singer. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. It was just a giant pair of Red Shiny Lips okay. Masks singer is always someone in disguise a celebrity in disguise singing on the show. And The Thrill for the audience and the extremely overacting. Panel of judges. is to try and gas. Who It is. And it just these red lips singing and she was singing something about how I'm a native New Yorker and a lot of people have a problem with me and my opinions and I don't know which panelists by the History Clinton. Kid. No It's not. So I pry the top lip off and it's Wendy Williams can you believe that apparently they wanted Hillary Clinton. But they went with Wendy Williams. Pride her out of the booby hatch for a little more exposure for her I'm glad she didn't collapse while wearing that while the last time she had a mask on she fainted weight. Seems way more encumbering. Now she was able to tough this one out apparently but no, it wasn't Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama or Abe. Lincoln. or any of the other National Hero politicians that this darling panel of judges always overshoots on do you think the producers have given them a list of names? We want you to guess this at some point. I think they're blowing it because we do the same thing here I'll say. This guy wants to buy three and a half million dollar car guess what his monthly payment is going to be and I always tell the crew guests a nickel. Overshoot on the price because if you overshoot on the guest, the actual number then sounds a little deflated. So you got these people on the mass singer easy. Hillary Clinton did now it's just Wendy. Williams, we eating out of a dumpster. Thanks a lot. Now it's a disappointment. Yeah. Especially for Wendy Williams I. Think just they overshoot. They shoot way high on the guest is is it someone really important? We want to see no, this is the master singer, right? Wrong show. We took the cast us from dancing with the stars. Someone told Jenny McCarthy. This is not meet the press. Barack Obama. Yes. It is. But he's dressed up like Wendy Williams for Halloween. Sh. Toss it wide Michelle Malania Dow. All right. What else? The owner of the Iconic Murder House from American Horror Story I. Think it was the first season is opening her home for Halloween. In oaken fold and her husband Dr Ernest. Von Schwartz called Rosenheim man Dr. Haunch Horri-. Guys gotTa guys got a Satchel that unrolls a saws and picks. Needles. On Halloween they're going to open the home for the first time to allow people to explore the inside of the mansion which they say is haunted. and. The whole thing will be livestream throughout the weekend. In case you're interested in watching this, you can check out the murder house dot com for more information video of the house is on our website right now one key dot com does evil doctors in movies always have a bedroll of tools always rolled up. Yeah. Like in a leather bedroll, they undo the string. Rolls out on the table and all the gleaming saws. Knives picks. All the stuff you see your dentist office. Needles. Torture devices things will happen when they do that What else? Man This guy just wanted to make it rain. Gentleman in China has been arrested after he stripper rain or a meteorologist. Money out his thirtieth story window while I on the. Wrong with that apparently, he was in a trance he was taking drugs and you just began throwing cash out the window to the streets below von Yeah I know traffic. Slow drew crawl people stopped in sections as people jumped out of their cars to try to scoop up the money. But he was taken into. Custody. He's been charged with taking drugs so Nothing against throwing the money out the window. jalen backup thirty stories high bankroll. Like this guy Trying to make people happy instead made me very happy. What else? there's a guy named manny, Wardha in Michigan and he works as an iphone man. I WanNa know what you would do if you're mini. Okay. He recently had a guy common and drop off his broken phone for repairs. Opens up the phone box, and when in the battery compartment, there was a note in one hundred dollar bill. The note said, please tell my wife the phone is unfixable. She wants to check the call history. One hundred dollars is yours thanks. Gotcha so he's trying to bribe manny right to keep his dirty call history secret gotcha clever. So if you were manny, would you? Take a hundred dollars and take a sledgehammer to that phone. Sorry man. Manny had to go to tiktok share the whole story making you go viral. And then he said I don't WanNa get in the middle of it. So when the wife came to pick up the phone, he gave it to her shoulder, the note and the hundred dollar bill. ASSHOLE. How did you get yourself more in the middle of h? Doing Not helping out a bro. That's when the husband came back and started throwing things around. So manny called the cops were what happened after that. Kinda. tippy toes. Pansy does that when a bros. reaching out to help how about help me out here fellow. Keep it quiet keep it on the down low. All upset. Well the guy. The store have it fixed? All you to do is walk in and then walk back I. They couldn't fix it. You know I mean I don't even know that he had to do that. He didn't have to spend the hundred bucks. Well, he wanted a certified note from an authorized iphone repair person otherwise the MRS wasn't GonNa wasn't gonNA. Fall for your flimsy story, Boyer, okay well, there's a little sharper than that. Got To pick the wrong. So that's Well. Yes. He did Chris I'm the players hindsight. That'd be boy I ended the whole thing divorce lawyers. All howling guess you pick the rug. Store. About googling clear your call history. Hard is that can't be that I don't know. What else? There's man a Florida man, of course who paid one hundred and fifty dollars to have a full contact experience with. A black leopard. Rub Its belly and take pictures with it. And then all my gosh mauled. A Leopard when all leopard on 'em yea. Imagine that. the owner of the sanctuary is being charged for long full-contact with a dangerous animal. The man who was attacked had to have surgery after severe injuries including to the scalp ear. And he was just cuddling. Coming happy playtime with a panther. Leopard Leopard. You don't mean food edged right? I mean he wasn't being romantic with it. I'm just asking what everyone's thinking. Trying to copulate with the animal is what I'm asking for. Inside the Animal Time Emily, I'm only asking what everyone's thinking. That's what I do here the show. They cut right through. We'll take a break here. On website. Well, why don't you? All right why don't want KGB DOT com check out the ogre faced spiders that use their legs to here. On is trying to get you back Sarah for making her making yourself in. Akron. So she went too far. What happened I'm not looking at this thing. All thing. Real lifers fantasy. Yeah. That's fair. You're in Israel life. Right on the website. A real. Fighter. You're just pretending to have your baby eat on US severed head. Interface Right What else is on our website here today in our spooky lead site creepy and they're Kooky the DNC family. Fake the same this one. Really, dark deep fake and Boyer as uncle. Fester? Wrong sobre. You to emily as you were more. Atoms and your Wednesday Sarah you guys look great fan. But boy fester. Lurch. Other. Chancellor lers. Who's doing this forest? Is it com I? It's a gaby's or something like that is his twitter name. It's really cool. Got To go to one KGB dot com it's only about a seven second clip. Truly. They also have work done by our hall of Famer Bobby, Eagle men who has created a DC nightmare on ELM street photo check that out. You can also see the murder house from American horror story on KGB DOT com. These spooky Halloween son, and all of us ladies are dressed up for Halloween check out our costumes on the website. Tell we were talking about parenting skills. That were okay. Back in our day when we were kids but it would never work that I. Scott got me on twitter says I would fall asleep in the car we'd get home and they just leave me in the car the garage until I woke up in sweat. Stomach Balance Sarah. Will. Since my mom left and Bank of America and when I was a kid because I didn't stay next door she loved me in the Bank I got the car and left me there. Drove home. These parents who have no problem bandaging their kids at crack me up and don't teach them. Dave says parents used to toss us in a dark garage lights off nothing and would make noises through the door to scare us back into behaving well. Never worked. Hale. Says that you people talking about belts and switches your amateurs nothing to it. Now. My mother made me pick small pebble rocks from the backyard and Neil on them. Until I told the truth. Oh. Football. The creative bad. Ever done. You ever knelt on pedals. split-second. Plumped back up and find some cushioning. Short pants on today breath don't Sir. I would grind those sob pebbles into the linoleum with such pleasure. Applicable. Pretoria says To, tell my girls they misbehaved in public got separated from me that Gypsies would find them. Up and then eat them. And then Casey says my mom would leave us kids in the car all day windows up while she was in the bargaining trashed sat. That tradition still alive. Thanks Casey. Thanks everybody. Who submitted? On how parenting was backing your day? Iraq's Rocco. What's the deal with this? Listener. TRICIA. Closer to probably an early Christmas gift is this This is just for me. I don't have to share this with all these other heads here cat three David Pretty. Sweet. It's. It's The whole Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer cast. Little figurines. I I. Think they could be Christmas ornaments. And they talk. Off. Man. I'm particularly bothered by the her me one no bother hermit. Yeah. Yeah. What's them well, Termi. Dot. com these darling. He really wanted that head l. the leg just hit him on the head with a hammer. Porsche minder a table someplace. crabby they all talk they all sing they all make noises. With Rudolph one in the package, there's a little hole and you put your finger through there and you press on his antlers. Okay and Rudolf says some stuff in her me. Yeah. Look where the Holy Land. GotTa touch little her me. Weiner. Likes it. Again, I'll do it. I don't care. This won't hurt a bit. y'All. First thing babysitter would say to me as soon as my parents were out of the driveway. Shot Up. Thank you Trish that is lovely. She in the hall of fame he is. She knows how to be in the hall of fame doesn't share City to still singing over the. Touched your wehner. Tomek. Joey Sing when I get home. Right got really effort. All right. Very good. Thank you, Tricia. What an exemplary member of the hall of fame. She knows that the bribing does not stop just on the day keep them coming. Very sweet. Thank you very much. All right. You ready for this. Whoever it's the Friday morning Chris Boyer. At. We all love this. We all look forward to that moment on the show. Where returned all control over to Chris Boyer? Who then? Gathers, his notes and reminds us about things that might have could have but probably didn't happen. On this day. Perhaps. But Unlikely on this planet period is now to show you how it works the author, the creator of the. Press. Starts. With that. were. I don't know if I can top that Sir but we'll try try. Talking to listen back to some of the great things that might have happened to US Inter about this week on or near our beautiful planet earth. As it was this week in one, thousand, nine, hundred, nine over sixteen million shares traded in panic selling in the New York Stock Exchange thousands of investors wiped out prices plummeted millions lost billions should today. It was the. I haven't seen the market lately. Good Mister Mahoney. Is just a correction David? Astrology event astrologer evangeline Adams claimed to have seen into the future and predicted the crash, but she didn't listen she lost a hundred thousand dollar dope. I four fingerprinting was first used by these Lewis police department and in nineteen seventeen Yasha Hey, fitz made his debut at Carnegie Hall in New York City. I'm fits was then a sixteen year old sensation who had been playing the violin since age five, which is also when his classmates began beating about. Let's see eighteen fifty. The Rotary Motion Washing machine was patented by Hamilton Smith Pittsburgh Pennsylvania. gasoline-powered loud smell Ian. Obnoxious. But still not as odious as the woman it replaced. And it's totally cool if you WANNA flipper over and stick it in the other side. Because the year was not eight and the two sided record was out on Columbia. I did the first golf tournament came crashing to a close in Chattanooga Tennessee the men's title whenever is Jay Scott He wore a ball cap, a pullover shirt and to the pants just got a hole in one. He was presented with a postage stamp size winter check tiny trophy. That's the dad joke you claim to not know any of. What? I did every five. The microwave oven was introduced by the Tappan Company. But finally, we saw this. May. Go your ass with a feather now that you have one priority since you. Keller graphically. It's only use on your Derriere. Then, came the cleaved metal will which supplanted the for of a bird but stroking them both left handedly rendered the output quite blurred. For the rescue sleek metal barrel easy to grip and a tightly clenched fist. Gone are the staining moist leaking for the cost of just fifty list idea forty-five and for twelve dollars and fifty cents you could pick up a ballpoint pen as they were the first commercially. Available at Kimble's in your. Teacher with the essay. KGB. Glasses. Term. Super Math leak girl. It's all done. Your workweek is complete. Get to go home playing your haunted house. We ask. Are there any other kids coming over or is it just for your cult? Of three hotted house for one. Aggregate we'll. Happy. Halloween. Thank you. Thank you. And? Sexy Raccoon girl. With a little raccoon. Eating on his head. Tell us what things we learned on this product. That's what we did. In fact, we kicked off the show with a super math league advocates in on a raccoon and a Franken baby they call. Kiss. What is it? What's the thing? Go ahead. After the NAB dicuss that's right. And? Why would you? Why would you? It's an abdication and that's exactly. What? anyways. Shirt that's. been play with those all morning long see photos of the DSP ladies. In our costumes went KGB dot. com. Then we listened to the drug person of the backwash podcasts. Only listen it from here on out. Amazing. And that was followed with the backwash pop quiz where we learned how boyer's fell the name of his dog Mike. M. I k.. E.. Foster. apostrophe. Hate words. Explanation. For a living. What's going on? I know flustered, you hate words. To wrong I think. Still not sure about the counting. Big Deal. Spouse Mike apostrophe. got. Mike Apostrophe it's. SORTA. Possessing. A dog having. Okay what else? Kanye West gave Kim a Hologram of her dad for her birthday and love it I think. Yeah I think is amazing. Absolutely everybody outside it totally creepy and weird and horrible and annoying probably. Then, Dave you asked how your parents punt, how your parents punished you when you were a kid that would totally not fly today they would not get away with it and Oh my God this went on and on and on, and it was so much fun. Emily. Tomorrow yes. Yes. Emily's mom put her on a bus when she was eight years old to her dad's office an hour away since she was just sick of her, what were you doing that day? That was? Upsetting your mother so much I enjoyed her every day did just talking I was a big backer. Sassy Hung. So what kind of things would you say? I wonder I don't know but she'd had it. Yeah. So she put you on the city Boston. Give me an hour's worth. Get that. Kid Outta town take her to the state line. and. I don't care where this is going driving right up puget sound. That's funny. Tina's mom dropped off her five-year-old brother on the side of dirt road and left because he was being a Dick. Katie had to go into the forest in her backyard and blow with all the bears away. Robbie was sent outside with a hammer invisible. It's to keep himself entertained. Amuse Yourself One guy wanted to go swimming and they didn't have a pool so they would just go down the street to the drainage now. Emily done like that. It's a built in pool. No the bathtub is a pool come on. One guys was so annoyed that the kitchen jumped on the picnic tables that he picked it up. And it never came back through the kid across the Yard I. God cats love to fly, and then there was a mom who was so annoyed that her k. jumped into a muddy puddle, she took her his head and shoved it in the. And held on their. Back. I mean a learner yeah. He said none of the other kids ever had a mud puddle jumping contest ever again. Mother did that right in front of everybody and he's still got mud water in his eyes. And how about that girl? Whose mother showed up at class on the regular. Grabbed her by the ear and drag out of the class announcing she didn't make her bed today. Out those just some of them. More, we're GONNA have more on Monday I. couldn't I couldn't get you awesome. I love the mom who kid was running away from home and she chased him down suburban. Got The vacuum cleaner out of the back of the suburban she brought the vacuum just so she could with him with the vacuum cleaner cord. Daddy. God Bongo and Saturday. All the other parents. Eddie. She's just busy whipping or kid in the middle of the street with a vacuum cleaner that she had to truck down the road. And the kid who got whipped by the vacuum cleaner. His last name is hoover. It's great. Good stuff. Is His destiny or density. What else we played summer school today Halloween theme. Wanted before he was even over she did. It was very impressive. Impressive on his mad at me why you've won a working very hard for me to Chris Boyer. someone's not quite the ringer anymore issuing. back up to the ringer. Only one north. Big Vagina noise sorry. I, mean we're trained. You spent thirty years. I know that, right? Yeah Yeah. Yeah Yeah. Misused the tool. What else? Let's see Dave over the list of the top ten worst Halloween Candy's to hand. Don't give these out this year emily particularly upset with smarties more. So naked waivers. Well, yeah. Some of these you can't even find any more smart as you can find they're plentiful on it hurts me that they're so hated. But I must acknowledge that that's the way it is. About chocolate that's all people want they want chocolate? Over in England. liquorice I'll tell you that over in England over in England. There's an a of sheriff who runs the town and he is going gonNA spend his policemen to all the houses on Christmas who decide that they're going to celebrate Christmas in gather together. Break it up jared Goff GonNA break up the Party and the city of three million. Good luck that ARCHAEA leader, David you do. You do only have half a brain because you figured that out it is an empty threat. No one's GonNa do that. Even more like can figure that out. But finally, thanks to listener tricia days. Early Christmas gift. He's going to go home and play with Hermes. Little. Happy. Halloween have a great weekend back with you on Monday six o'clock. The KGB. A little flexibility can go a long way by refinancing your newer US auto loan with ten fed, you can lower your monthly payments for more flexibility in your budget. 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