20 Episode results for "Kherson"

Episode 164: Bobby C.

AA Beyond Belief

47:45 min | 1 year ago

Episode 164: Bobby C.

"A beyond belief as a podcast by four about people who have found a secular path to sobriety alcoholics anonymous. Good Benazir Ben Benzon Video. Yeah so here we are. Thank you everybody for joining us here on a beyond belief today. I don't know why I said that we're not live. This is just a recorded podcast anyway. good to see you there been. Hey John Sorry for my tardiness bumpers slip and then my wife I internet so you're fine And then you've got bobby see here he is from Huntington Beach California. Bobby this is Ben. Hey Bobby Nice media. I've been looking forward to meet you. Nice to see a Ben. I just got done saying more video but now he just went off. So that's yeah it's good. I finally got to speak with you saying you. I've been seeing you on the podcast. I've been watching mostly all our chance on both channels. Oh good. I'm glad I enjoyed your talk with John. The other week to on the other podcasts. Yeah that was kind of fun. that that spirituality topic is always kind of controversial. You know people hate it and some people I'm like I really don't care you know do what you want to do. So don't know there's a variety of things I guess we could talk about Bobby You know last time that we spoke on the other podcast. You shared a little bit of your story. You talked about the meeting that you started and some of the other recovery groups that you participate in and we were talking a little bit beforehand and you thought that one topic of many that we could talk about might be anonymity Would you want to talk about that? And what your feelings are about that or do you want me sure. Well we could I'll go and we could discuss it yourself. We could talk about a little bit. Just go into into This my story just a little bit to where Matt now with the anonymity stuff behind. When I came in thirty six years ago I even know what a Rehab was There was only one place to go and and as you know was alcohol anonymous so I was. I was fortunate that you know a friend of mine was not friend of mine but he came became my friend he already was going to alcoholics. Anonymous came over and he took me to my first meeting mentioned that last art kissed but before that I I had no clue about a rehab helper. Any other form of a recovery I know is I started using very early. Probably I don't know how Joran fifth grade but that's when I started taking my dad. Cigarettes started smoking cigarettes and fifth grade. It's crazy to even think back you know and then from there it. Even if v moved from one town to another and I was in fifth grade and met a couple of friends in the neighborhood and back back. East I come from South Jersey so back. Easter was a lot of a lot of kids my age in a neighborhood and we picked up and I started probably about fifth sixth grade taking a little bit of wind year. And we'll sit there go out and pour a little bit in a little jar. Take a little whiskey. Everybody took a little whiskey added her parents cabinets and would meet down to go in. And I'd hold my nose and Swig a little bit of a half of a thing of whiskey down and I don't know how it was crazy. That was the introduction to it in kind of a crazy way just progressed. One in one and You know I I like to say today. Did it was a choice for me to take that first drink and it was a choice that I chose to take that for a cigarette and it was a choice to take the other things but it wasn't a choice for me to get addicted to it. That's for sure I didn't realize I was going to become addicted to an eighty substances but I did and then talk about progression in progress and my stories just like anybody else's it was like in the beginning. Wasn't that bad then as you turn. The pages became Doing the same thing over and over again and I didn't expect some different results. Different results ever came out of it kind of got. Kinda got worse and we never got better until I came into alcoholics anonymous and was February. Twenty seven thousand nine hundred eighty seven but when I came men anonymity you know they say on the media's The spiritual foundation at a program in today what I thought that would I think today is completely different and as my journey evolved throughout the alcoholics anonymous program as I as I stated in the last podcast I went to many different things. Acoa CODA meetings did one on one grew a went to some men's meetings different types of man's meetings and I read different books different spiritual books different motivational speaker. Books and my mind started expand so when I was going he's meetings I always had. I think we talked about that. Cognitive dissidents from the very beginning and Anonymity was always talked about as the years go went on. I kind of started finkel. My own and started to think question observed come aware of different things because of the outside information I was getting and I start seeing movie stars. You know. Talk ABOUT THEIR THEIR RECOVERY. And we know bill and other speakers broked around in any way back down but today. I don't know everybody. I don't think it's I actually think people don't they? Don't care about that because I think the trends. Going to less labels less stigma stigmatizing Less Less words did that. We're using to describe us. You Know Alcoholic. Alcoholism anonymous the disease concept. I believe. That's that's GonNa that's GonNa go away don't you? We gather I think the anonymity is is a personal choice and that There are some people who need to because of their careers or whatever Have a reason to keep it. You know out of the public level and I can certainly respect that and so you know. I feel obligated to respect their privacy. And they're in an empty I think that for me personally. I'm Kinda done with the tradition of anonymity however I do respect On this podcast just out of respect for AA and since a is in the name of this podcast and the people who listen to it are primarily members. I do try to follow the traditions best. I can so I do. I maintain my anonymity here. But when I read about this Principle or tradition of anonymity and sorry and the twelve traditions and And the twelve steps. That bill w wrote the primary reason that we have We're anonymous is that we're not out there. It's for public relations. So that we're not out there Acting as spokespeople for a and then and then lost it all up and I just don't see people doing that. I don't think that that is a problem. I you know. And I think it's almost idiotic because there are many other programs like smart recovery and life ring where people can talk openly about their involvement and nobody is is is accusing them of being a spokesperson for their particular program. You know so I I really feel like it was kind of a way at that time for those people they and they probably felt it was important to control the message as much as much as they could and so they wanted everyone to be anonymous Except for the big guys who would go around and talk about the program that was just. That's just my feeling. I also think that it stigmatizes the disease a little bit. You know like it's like every we're all in hiding or something now and I also though that being said I also recognize. There's a huge difference between being anonymous and respecting someone's confidentiality so that. If I'm at a meeting anything I hear in that meeting stays there. You know I have no right to go around talking about what I hear a meeting. But that doesn't have anything to do with anonymity that has to do with just respecting the confidentiality. That we have in meetings. So that's kind of my take on it. That's where I kind of evolved to this position but I still kind of tip toe it a little bit. Sometimes I crossed the line when I don't mean to and but I'm not as worried about is I used to be What do you think Ben? What's your take on that? Well you know you guys made a lot of good points John the last part you made to about Anonymity I will. I am one hundred percent for anonymity and and how it is everybody's decision as to whether they're anonymous themselves by being a sober Kherson not like. It's never my right to go out and say oh. Hey I know this guy. John S. News your full name and say you know he's sober to and does this does that? That's not for me to ever ever blow somebody else's anonymity but I do agree that the most of it stems from probably trying to keep the message quote pure in the get go and not having people spouting off everywhere like. They're the spokesperson trae in Johnny. Bobby I'm sorry I thought it was an interesting point. You made like a lot of people. The first time they may be heard about a was when some famous person said that they were a sober person. Without even saying they're going to AA or something So again we've all probably seen somebody in the public eye who seems pretty enthusiastic and you can probably tell they're going to a lot of twelve step meetings the way they're talking. We kind of know the lingo. But even when they don't don't explicitly say they go day I don't really cringe about any of that because I don't know if we give people enough credit. I don't think anybody thinks if somebody like. Ben Affleck is out there relaxing and causing chaos. If I don't think everybody says while a doesn't work you know the person who might say that is probably inactive alcoholics. Who Scared to death? Quitting drinking in an idol. They'll find an excuse to not come no matter what usually so. I mean I would imagine more good has been done by people talking about being a sober person in for a while there. I still think it's kind of this. William Bobby you mentioned it it's been kind of trendy and hip and I don't mean that in a bad way to talk about being sober and I mean facts on the table. Drinking in general is not healthy for anyone whether you're alcoholic or not. I mean alcohol's toxin and again. I'm not I'm not the sobriety police. I'm not saying everybody shouldn't drink. But at the public health issue so back back to the point at issue I will respect anybody's right to be anonymous and go out of my way to protect protect anybody else's anonymity and confidentiality like you guys are saying but I also I've evolved to a to where you know if it's everybody's business whether they choose to say they're sober not and you have to be careful because especially most of us here that tend to join on this podcast. We probably have some conflicting feelings about it. It's like I want to advocate for people to be sober if they want to be sober and if they find that works for them great but if it doesn't you know I have problems with AF things I love about a a so But like like Jon said it. There's there's things about the traditions that make them very worth respecting and in this is this is one of them Nassar. Their intentions are so pure. Yeah Yeah and you know like in the workplace. I'm I'm pretty anonymous and I kinda choose that but it's not like if somebody were to know it would bother me per se but I don't want I don't want to be I. I don't want people to think of me as that's that's me. That's that's who I I don't want them to identify me as being person in recovery necessarily I just WanNa be another guy at work You know so that and also I don. I don't want to have to be having to explain or even defend A people who might not understand it go ahead. Sorry Bobby I I agree with a mostly everything. Both these are saying For the for the listener. I guess that's important to here with us for the listener. Really doesn't know what anonymity means or how to deal with it or through years you you you learn from me. I believe in when I talk about anonymity I talk about myself not other people. I I personally don't break my committee to anybody. Secours doesn't matter. I only do it. I know exactly when to doing it kind of if it comes up. It's like almost a a known thing. It it's like your body and your mind and your feelings no to open up. So I'm really very careful with anonymity in that sense and I respect total respect other people's out. I mean after all the only thing that separates me from everybody else's did I was addicted to alcohol now. I'm not and character defects. I think all these character defects that they talk about or just human character defects of every human being on earth so anonymity is a personal thing. I I don't even tell I don't even go into medical stuff you know. Even I dag Zuber. I don't tell tell my doctors tell you the truth. It's not really that comes up and just normal everyday conversation with people at work or at a party or something just doesn't it's just not a topic that comes up it'd be you're exactly right. It's talking about you know a medical issue or something that's just not. It's just not something. I don't think that that comes up that often. The words even even an issue is more of an issue now because of the Internet I think. And you know it's you know you can go on Youtube and you just You know search for AA. And you'll find any number of people Talking about their experience at an AA meeting or they'll be celebrating their anniversary or whatever and holding up a coin and they're on video and they're not anonymous and they don't seem to mind at all and I don't know if that's really hurting a I don't think it is So I'm fine with them doing that. You know that's that's what they WANNA do. Yeah definitely I think we all probably see people post the pictures and there's always degrees of involvement. Aa To some people. Just go to meetings. And aren't that connected with other people socially and and everybody. Kinda does a little different. Bobby Bobby said you know us. Being the statement we hear about how anonymity is the spiritual principle. Whatever I think you know to explain that and more probably worldly two rooms in regular world terms. It's it's about humbleness. I think because you know even like talking about people on facebook you can see somebody who's you know Smokin pink cloud hardcore into being sober and you know there spouting it everywhere in six months and you know the counselor in me says okay now. Let's take it easy here. You know you've got to be prepared for when it doesn't feel that screwed all the time to not to burst your bubble. But I think that's some of the concern at anonymity thing and I don't think you know I just think it's over exaggerated how people say if that person has relapsed or something happens that it gives a bad name. I think one most people still don't know too much about a into. I think people do understand that addiction. They're starting understand that addiction and alcoholism is not something. That's just a once and you're done type deal for auto people right and and the stigma has has gone down to a certain extent. You know it's it's not an until large degree because of all these people that have come out openly about about it. That's one reason that that has reduced stigma. I think for certain professions. You know if if you're a medical person who your surgeon or somebody who's you know I think anonymity is important there in you know it does seem like we have special groups for people who tend to be the higher end professionals because of that. But also it's it's to be careful because I don't know if I'm being delusional about my own drinking but it was a fairly high bottom compared to some people now. That doesn't mean it wasn't bad enough for me or whatever but sometimes. I'm careful even tell somebody. I'm recovering alcoholic because I thought there had goes to is that you know. All I did was drink all day every day. For like ten years you lived on the street which I wouldn't be ashamed of that if that was my story. But again we don't know what other people's perceptions in where they go with that so somebody's professional Out somebody else. Who's in going to twelve step meetings? I may very well be destroying that person's reputation based on just what the other person doesn't know about about that other person's history so it's it's touchy. I have friends. I have friends that you know Back in my old home groups who we have agreements with each other where I'm like. Hey if you ever know anybody now that I've moved up to a Maha like if you ever know someone who needs somebody to connect with your talked to. I don't care if you out me one bid. Give me give them my number. Tell my first last name. I don't care you know so. I can have agreements with people like that too. So yeah. That's where that's where I'm going with. That anonymity stuff is like what we're doing. We're doing why would you were doing with the My secular recovery okay. I don't mind breaking my anonymity because I'm targeting on talking to other alcoholics. Even the word we could talk about that word alcohol with other people in recovery. I'm talking about maybe somebody that's looking for something so for me to break my anonymity that way. I don't have any problem with it. None whatsoever because they're looking or they're searching or they're going to this site for a specific reason so in that sense I don't anonymity to me I'm gonNA break it every gateway if I can help somebody that other that other pipe pass you talked about my secular sobriety. That's a really interesting experiment because I I wanted to do that because I wanted to kind of break out the AA mold. I wanted to have Topics that talked about recovery that weren't always related to a and I was really hoping that I wouldn't even have to talk about a but as the more I get involved with the more difficult I find it to not even mention it or not even to mention it as part of my own experience so I ultimately just gave up. I said okay. I'm just going to have to talk about my experience. Honestly and as a result I ended up breaking my anonymity on that particular podcast. But I'm not you know I just finally said you know. Just that's just the way it has to be a have to talk about my own experience but most of the most of the episodes on that podcast aren't going to be centered on a or the steps or anything like that. I really want to focus on on that podcast. I WANNA look at recovery from all addictions and using all types of or support groups and not being so concerned about what you say. And how you say. He's acting representing exactly exactly I. I don't need traditions. Police you know. Get an army about you know you you. You broke this tradition or that tradition. Yeah well how dare you talk about that podcast on this? That's another thing I was. I was really two separate. You know like I don't want he wanted to know I'm doing this. You know I almost felt like when I left my old. Aa Group. Didn't tell anybody that I left. I just went off of it. You know sooner or later we. We just have to become honest. You know I mean sooner or later we have to become like real. You know instead of kind of a hiding in and we don't talk about the disease there's two there's two. There's two trains of thoughts out there in this disease concept. Some believe. It isn't some believe it is. I happen to believe today. I believe I don't have a disease you know. Now we're talking on. This might be better to talk on the other channel about that. But we don't talk about that. We don't talk about the the alcohol industry. We don't touch the alcohol. Industry may believe me actually think that the alcohol industry should be held responsible for some of his devastating consequences. It has on Society. You know actually if you look at it. We are victims of the alcohol society. You know it's been it's been a lie and and it's still it's still affecting targeting young people women older people so we don't talk about that not that we're going to talk about. We're not going to talk about that talk. Well and the point is I. Think Bobby to some people. It seems like in again. I always get off on the religion thing. But it's like there's the police out here who think if you for one second talk about anything that may be contributed to becoming an alcoholic. Or whatever you WANNA call it then that is. You're trying to sidestep your own personal responsibility in on some level. There's a treat to that especially when somebody's really newly getting sober. It is so important to just focus on what you can do but you know eventually I think a healthy recovery oftentimes for many people involves looking back and maybe analyzing what went on and looking at some deeper personality stuff and some maybe some therapy and things like out there saying that you know I found to be of. It doesn't mean everybody will but So but there's such a you can even sense a tone in certain. Aa meetings where if something even remotely goes to that direction. The next person is sure as heck slammed the door on that. Move everything backwards. A you know a personal responsibility Movements often that involves a lot of shame blame guilt the tone of it is part of my concern about it but there's truth to it to write in it's sets singleness of purpose in staying focused on this but it's it's also what has led me to be bored of going. Aa meetings often singleness of purpose. Which I agree with on many levels but sometimes it just feels so repetitive and over and over. It's like Stan in English one. Oh One when you really WANNA get three hundred new books in English God. I'd say that I say that you know like. Would you stay in kindergarten? No not go to try to go to second grade. Y'All it's almost you know it's almost this is what you know. It's a power. Let's be honest here to parenting. No repetition of words and phrases and readings that repeatedly get into your brain and league Use The word Ken Ken Brainwashed and there's a good side of that and then there is a dangerous side too that I've kind of had to try and end. We've some of that stuff like Oh do I just believe that because I heard it in? Aa meetings over and over and over. Or how does that really relate to me or or how do I really feel about that? I believe I was born in atheist. I was born in a his then. My mother gave me her Catholicism sheep you know I I did all the Catholic stuff you know all the whole ritual and then slowly you know when I when I came into alcoholics anonymous. I tried to get back into that because I thought something was wrong with me. I didn't have it and then I even went into the Christian churches and started do Bible studies and started to tell everybody you know they better be saved. Let's go and go to hell I did that that little routine air for a while and thank God I came out. Thank whoever's like me really came out of it and Yeah it's kind of Lake It seems like there's a fear. Am like again along the Sanin. It'd be lying that if we don't have this consistent message in a dozen sound the same everywhere. There's there's a danger in that and that's just to me a lot of fearmongering and what it's it's to me. It's like sex education for kids. Let's give all the information so that kids can make the best decision. They have to make for themselves when they're in a situation where they're the only ones to make a decision just like we can all feel united and we can all say whatever the heck we say in that one hour in. Aa Meeting were there. It really does not matter if you mean it or if you're parenting it or not in that moment where it matters is when you're home and you walk and pass the liquor store or your wife has a twelve pack of beer in the fridge that you've been thinking about a lot. I mean it comes down to what's IT GONNA mean to you in that moment when you're away from all your safety and what do you really believe what really works for you like you learning about your mom's religion or any religion. It's like well. What does that mean to me? Or what am I taking from that draft to believe it all or none of it or do I have to frame it in a way that works for me now so it's it always comes down to personal responsibility. Whatever whatever the mind can conceive and believe it will achieve. That's that's good or bad. You know whatever my mind wants if my mind wants to drink and I believe it wants to drink a more to get a drink and I want sobriety expand enough it says the only requirement is desire so a desire means creating so if I have a craving for sobriety whatever my mind can conceive and believe about sobriety. I will achieve. I believe all programs all recovery programs work the same way through the belief that it will work good either so I take responsibility for that. Believe so I believe all the programs will work if you if you want him to work you know you don't want him the work they won't work. I see people in the big book stoppers They twelve steps. They got to sponsors that they sponsor return people they go to meetings. They go out and drink. I see people that don't have sponsors. Don't do the big book. Don't do the twelve steps essay sober. I see people to believe in God stay sober. I see people don't believe in God stay so so I believe it's our responsibility as my choice and I choose the one today store like I did back then. Actually my desire today is is a thousand times greater than it was back then in something like this website in this podcast. I think what it does is. It exposes the fact that there's been people who feel like us all along and some level that makes the people who are the hardcore dogmatists of a scared. Because it's like it's bringing something to light. That's been true for a long time in this probably growing in numbers. And I'm with you bobby. The honesty and the truth about is is what's important and I think the good side of Alsace Movement. I know we don't always like that. We're the good side of this. Is What it what it brings to the Is Authenticity in being emotionally. Honest about ourselves. That scares the hell out of some people and I would say that some people hide in the dog Mauvais and or religion because of that. Fear so to to have your to have your Your Foundation rattled just because all of a sudden you realize holy cow. There are some atheists endure holy cow. There's some people don't think the twelve steps are are perfect. As written they came down the mountain. You know that that for some people if if that really rocks foundation after question how secure their sobriety is so when you just talked about how secure someone is in their sobriety and it kind of it kind of brings me to another topic that Ah this on my mind that I'd like to talk about and that is how we're handling going to meetings are not going to meetings during this pandemic so. I made a decision that I'm going to practice social distancing and for that for me that means I'm going to be working from home. I'm not going to be going to gatherings where there's a large number of people and I'm not going to go to AA meetings. I'm not going to sit in a room a small room with fifteen or twenty people in it. You know I just made that decision for myself. I just think that It's not so much just me. Not Getting the virus but if I do get it. I won't be infecting other people. I just think it's really important to do that so anyway. I was at a meeting last night and I. It was a Friday night meetings that I chair and I told the people I said you know I you know. I don't WanNA chair this meeting anymore. I'm not going to go to meetings for another month We either need to close this meeting down or someone else needs a Charrette. No one else wanted to cherish. We decided to close it down and so after the meeting I was talking to a guy he looked to be about my age. And he's I know he's been sober for at least twenty years or so and explaining to him. You know this white this decision. I made about not going to meetings for a month. And why and the social distancing and he said to me he said well that sounds like a recipe for relapse That he has heard so many times that. When someone relapses the first words are they stopped going to meetings and I'm like that kind of disturbed me because it's like I'm not that insecure. My sobriety isn't that fragile and I have a good reason for doing this and how I it almost frightens me that there's people in Aa who think that they have to continue going to these AA meetings regardless of a pandemic John Lesser Disease. Talking in you I guess I'm just kidding how do you how do you guys feel about this This pandemic and how are you handling yourselves? You know I guess Bobby Let's let's let's just say I'm still a little confused in the sense that I don't know if I WANNA cut quest by meetings are new in. There may be only twelve people in them. And I'm on tour. I have cognitive dissonance with this. I'm torn I don't know what to do so I I'm taking it day by day and actually take it. I have a little meeting tonight and there may not be maybe one person or two people that show instead recovery Dharma meeting. But I'm going to go and I want more will be revealed to me and I'll I'll be able to make make make the decision after that and then all of a building that decision but as far as People saying you. I've been away meet in the beginning I was. I took vacations. I was away meetings for two weeks. You know I didn't get drunk. There's People Wanna get drunk because I wanted sobriety more than I wanted to get drunk. You know and there's there's people that they don't go to meetings all the time and they stay John. I have a question. Was this person directly referring to you. Sounds like a recipe for relapse for you yup. Yup We were talking in the room together and he was talking to me. He thought that What I was doing dangerous and I think that it's dangerous for me to put myself in a room full of people who might have a virus that I could transmit to someone like my wife who could pass it on to her mother. You know here's where that That kind of stuff annoys me. Maybe if you were like two weeks so I mean or something like that and still physically withdrawing but I mean it's like that's that's the dog man that's a fear mongering and that's the religiosity that annoys me about a a sometimes as far as me like. I took my son to Costco yesterday because we had to get some things with you know. Oh let's all warranty teen but before that we're going to be around a thousand people who are afraid then go quarantine right right so I mean I have so many mixed feelings about it. Our daughter was going to daycare still last week three days a week. Then you know all of those kids have been exposed to each other and you know. We'll fortunately for kids. It's not the dangerous really are the better the better off. You are really right and like you said John. I'm not worried about me. I'm not worried about my wife. I'm not worried about my kids. I'm worried about my inlaws. Who are in their seventies. Who HAVE HEART CONDITIONS? I'm worried about my mom who you know. If she got the corona virus in had a a a medium problem she would die? She's on oxygen twenty four seven and has heart disease and she has so. That's that's why we do this. I mean I'm trying to get political on this but so even today. I think I'm going to take my daughter to a movie but the movie theater that I'm taking his practicing distancing and not putting certain seats but even still there's there's a part of me that feels guilty because what this whole thing is revealed to me is just how. Goddamn self centered. We are too like even myself thinking like man. If I'm super annoyed with my family how the hell am I going to get out of here and go to a movie? My Wife School when this is going on. What's this going to do for me and then I have to sit and I have to think it's not about. It should much like A. It's not about me it's about us. And and if the goal really is I mean we may look back and be like oh everybody's panicking over nothing. We may never know that. We may be like Oh. We avoided the worst spice. Because of what we did. The other side of people might say. Well look at this bullshit. We didn't even have to do this. No exactly that's what my wife was saying. It's like if it's if it turns out that we do lower the the hump or whatever it is and it's not as bad as we were expecting because we took these precautions. People are GonNa say oh. What an overreaction. It really wasn't that bad but it wasn't that bad because we did these things right. There was a guy in line. The Costco is at yesterday. When all the way to the back of the store and back around the corner the line moves super fast but there was one gentleman and he said what the hell are all these people doing here and then another guy who I would've assumed if they were a political people that they would have been on the same team the other guy said. Well didn't you hear of schools are probably gonNA close for six to eight weeks? The other guy turned around and said God damned fucking media and so I'm just like okay. You know it's like whatever I mean. It's like we talked about sacrifice and we talk about. You know I mean what's a couple of weeks or a month which I know was a big deal in terms of economic terms. I do stuff the stock market so I realize that but I mean we the same people who are talking about sorry. This is now turned into a political podcast. Set the same people who were probably preaching against whatever Obama's death camps were are also the same people who are just saying it was just the flu if we kill off just the most vulnerable people in the old people who cares. It's like okay. Which which part of this camp do you want to agree with? But I guess my point is I. Don't blame anybody for not wanting to go to a meeting where people are going to try and grab your hands. The stupid outdated but there we've talked about this on other podcasts. There is something about being around other people physically around other people that does help so I understand it. And especially bobby for you. If you got a new meeting that is trying to gain some traction a month or two break might be just what it what it takes to have that meeting fall apart for a while but then on the other hand that problem might solve itself because there might be enough people that are living in fear. That don't come to the meeting anyway. So you know yeah when this you know. I just want to talk to the listeners. The the new the new people that came into different types of programs are recovery programs that are dealing with these these issues e seductive behaviors and stuff this. This is normal anxiety. Depression feeling bored. It's all normal feelings. We're all feeling so I want to just say that to them and let them know that today could see back in my day but today everything's online you can go online get involved go to facebook. Dot instagram. Go Go to twitter. You know. Listen to these podcasts. At US tour you know beyond belief I mean you could just stay there for hours. Listening into those different podcast. You know my secular recovery you only have about seven of them right now but they're going to be more common you know and we could sit and listen to them. Listen learn learn. Listen it's new. It's a newer so I don't think we have to worry about that. Bobby I mean I quite John. The reason that I am doing this is mainly because of my age. I'm all be coming up on fifty eight years old and I think that I'm a little bit in that category where I should be careful. I'm so this is my decision There are a lot of people that good are meaning are in there Are under forty. And they're not that big at risk so it's not not as big of a deal for them so I just making that decision for myself. The way that we're handling it. Our group is people who feel comfortable. They'll take their own precautions. Do their own thing and that so that was just my my decision but you know I was thinking bobby that what if this what if I were the only like just now getting sober. I'm like a week sober and It now if I was a younger person and just newly sober I think I would. I would still go to meetings and I and I practice precautions of not holding people's hands and etc. You know but I think I would still probably attend the meetings but when you talk about all the other resources that are available like going online and so forth when I was getting sober. I didn't have any money and so I'm thinking that if I was in the same position now just getting sober and I didn't have a job and I are already money. I might not be able to afford afford a cell phone with with Internet access or to buy a book or to any of that stuff. I'm on I'm not. I might not have a computer or being able to go online so I don't. I wouldn't have those resources if I if I were in the same position today as I was back in one thousand nine hundred eighty eight financially and so forth. I getting sober so you know the only thing I would be able to do now is access is go to the library. Which is actually what I did back in the eighties. You know so. It's a little bit more difficult if it depends on where you are in society and what kind of resources you have. It'd be great if you're just getting sober and you have a job and you have access to the Internet. You can go to online meetings and so forth but if you don't have the access to that it does make it a lot more difficult. It's going to be like you guys are saying Bobby. Thank you for bringing that up. Like they're going to be different degrees of what people need. So the important thing is if you can or able to be in touch with somebody who can help guide you through it if you don't feel like you know what you should do Because that that uncertainty that like Oh God. Am I going to get like you know John? Even that guy mentioning it to you and you've got what thirty three years or so sobriety. It can do that kind of stuff. Upsets me to to where I'm like. Oh Jeez what the baby I am or you know. Maybe I'm screwed up but I on someone we have to trust ourselves us. What tools you have available to you. I mean talk to a neighbor more often or I don't know it's it's going to be. It's going to be different for each person is somebody's GonNa use it for an excuse to drink. They will be nice Nissim APP. It scares me that there might be people who are in their sixties and older who are afraid not to go to meetings and they're going to go to AA meetings and they're gonNA get sick and they get very very sick and they're doing it because they think that it's the only way to stay sober and What I've heard some people even say is that well. I have two choices here. I can die from this virus or I could die from drinking. I don't believe that that's the choice. That's not the choice you can stay sober and and still take the precautions that you should take for for your particular situation for you. Know if you're if you're an older person if you have underlying medical conditions you need to take more precautions than somebody who is thirty two years old and otherwise healthy so yeah it kind of concerns me. I think that There's a lot of people out there who aren't taking it seriously and they're going to go to meetings and people are. GonNa get sick but we can talk about Now that's that's that's great. Everybody's GonNa find her own way and go back to that whatever. The mind can conceive and believable achieved. She is she wants to send. You'RE GONNA you figured out no matter what. Go to library or go online. If you can't afford it. Grab a booker. Something you'll you'll figure it out. Somebody figured out if they want to go get How about how about the people in alcohol? How much time do you think that guy had did have a lot of time or a little bit of time told you about twenty five years now? Let me just go with that for a minute. So we have people in alcoholics anonymous with a lot of time and they used to use these things with the bleeding. Deacon and elder statesman I think that was more controlling factor. Where if you seek out differently. You're bleeding deacon and if you sit back and say nothing and let the people make you a movie star or a Guru and you're a elder statesman Barda bleeding vegan and other states but in alcoholics anonymous. It almost seems like like we were talking about this kindergarten. Moving up you've got twelve steps and move up to the twelfth grade in the Ted step talks back continuing to continue to take personal inventory. So would I tend to see a lot in alcoholics? Anonymous is people that are five ten fifteen twenty. They tend to talk about the past all the time and trying to use what they did twenty years ago to help him today. You know instead of like really searching having an open mind being honest and willing to change are not to stay stuck. I see people older people with years. I you know I'm I'm judging an uptake mature yes I am. I see him stuck and That's why I like this this other stuff because if you venture out just a little bit your mind opens up a little bit more and Take Bobby that's a great point in like I'm looking at. This is an opportunity. Okay we're GONNA be at home more. What are the things around the house? So we've been trying to get done that we say we don't have time for so two like a match recovery. It's like this is a different aspect of our recovery. So if you're someone out there super concerned about going to meetings but you really don't want to because of this will think about. This is a new way. I can challenge myself to grow in my recovery. Wom At home. Maybe I mean everybody's been maybe you've been sitting there putting off right down your four step. We're going to be inside more. Go and write that down here. Maybe you've been telling yourself forever that you're GonNa Journal more often. Share your feelings in writing. Well here's a great chance to do that more. So it's it's almost like you're GONNA WE'RE GONNA have. We're all have this opportunity to have this stuff putting our face that we've been procrastinating putting off. Well here's a great opportunity to dig into some of that stuff and I'm going to be more podcast and I'm GonNa be reading more and I'll be taking my dog for walks. It's an opportunity. He's sitting. It's an opportunity for all of us to grow. It's a look at it as a bad thing or good things and opportunity. Well that's a recovery tool yup. I think as a conversation we had and I think that both topics. We talked about anonymity. And also the personal distancing social distancing thing. It's all up to each individual person to decide what's right for them I think and That's the way it should be. We get in trouble and we tell the people they need to do. Well I just WANNA say I've been practicing social distancing in meetings fergus. Said I go up and stand in the corner. Yeah Yeah I yeah to certain extent. It's kind of easy for me to social distance because I kind of to lighten around people anyway anyway. Thank you very much For listening to AA beyond belief. The podcasts always John. Thanks very talking to you. Okay take is. It's been great. Thank you so much.

William Bobby John S. Lake It Ben Affleck facebook Costco Society Benazir Ben Benzon South Jersey Joran Matt Aa bill w Kherson Youtube Huntington Beach California Bobby Let Aa Group finkel
Episode #574 - We Have Black Friends - Jamar Neighbors

Legion of Skanks Podcast

1:36:07 hr | Last month

Episode #574 - We Have Black Friends - Jamar Neighbors

"I'm focused on today's show. We're going to tell you about one of our incredible sponsors. It which is for msg and they're credible delays spray is abused used by over one billion men and it is clinically proven to help you last longer in bad it takes the edge off and sensitivity levels down. So you don't have to worry about finishing too soon. The average woman takes almost twenty minutes to climax the average man takes x. What do you do with all that between your thumbs also is an option twirl. You're read an audio book. Who knows what you're going to do is say. Close that gap close that sexual gap and use the promo delays spray. You will pleasure your partner. That much better better. Sex are both of you. Guys means a better longer lasting relationship if other products as well to just going to their website which is dot com. There's no prescriptions no mess no pesky subscriptions required just better sex guaranteed with a sixty day money back policy once again that is dot com. He r. o. M. e. s. c. e. n. t. dot com. There's no promo code. Needed offering free shipping sixty day. Money back guarantee okay. Let's start the show did you bob. Famous breakpoint cut if he takes the your policy of keeping less less less dude. We give out cocaine to everybody in this before the show. They are wired fucking wild. What's up everybody. It is allegiance gangs podcast. We're live it's monday. We're here at the stand comedy club. I'm big jail kherson scherzer all here. We got david smith. What the fuck is up. Everybody I'm gonna say i feel particularly good about this episode. Because lewis really brought it in his warm-up appeti- grab did bring it. I did he did bring it when for deepen horrid the people listening at home. Louis warms up the crowd for legion his gangs. Every we been doesn't tell jokes or talk to him. He just rushes in like a man and chance and bangs into people knocks over there. Pizza's drinks breaks manager. If you come to see the show live and you order a pizza recommend you order to wreck your first pizza the stamps on easy and nervous deer were you guys not fucking pumped up for my warm up. I everybody about it. For the reigning and defending champ. Puerto rican rattlesnake louis j gomez. I am fucking this gray crowd right now. Who saw jerry. Lewis was just starting to bunch of ivermectin backstage. Joe rogan told me it would make me better just makes our casts everybody tonight star of stage and screen most favorite movie from the rose battle. And it's a sexually charged roast with yamanaka being bits tomorrow. Neighbors we have. We have black friends. Talk some shit now twitter right here. Live in the flesh persson ashtray. Please tell them how not racist. We've been you this all time. They've been good to me. Let's get away after we get for playing limp biscuit before the show by the way the crowd didn't have how to react to demar calling them the n. Word they were like oh they loved it. There are crowd is the only group of white people who tell a black guy. That's our word that why guys eating pizza with a pitchfork. Damn i love this crowd. Oh man yeah well. The crowds have been fucking greatly packed. And honestly it's a higher caliber voting member. Because i found out that they charge these people for tickets bananas. It should never be news to the performers. All supposed to get in for free every one of you i swear to god i thought that was the thing that was the thing was free leisurely supposed to be free and then somewhere along the line that sort of charging you fucking suckers and i remember it was weird because we went from being sold out tipping like half capacity. I'm not mad that these suckers are paying amid that. These suckers aren't getting paid us. Five dollars loveless. Now it's fucked up. This isn't considered a page show. I guess but the crowd has to pay. The credit does have the they pay. Well our audience just assume they were paying to not get their vaccination status checked. But now it's a little pain. He thought they were getting a little bribe. You look the other way. I was vaccinated by mr andrew jackson. What's the ticket cost. How much ten dollars. Not worth that crazy. Is that what it is. You have to put him promo code gang minutes for eight. Oh oh it's not the club. The club ripping or fence off. It's not promoting it the right way to use promo code legion idiots. Oh well all right topic. Number one was all right. You're the stand dumb off. We scratch off. Where's my money fagging. We're i guess we're not gonna do the burn down the stand bit okay. This is awkward. Because i doused the club and gasoline. Pretty sure i have to go. Let the waitress santa my trunk. We really wrote some checks before we found out if we could cash is it mandatory to be vaccinated down here not yet well so they had a month. So don't worry. I'll explain guys spring yourselves with axiom. What was that sound. that's so basically it is ineffective is not being enforced yet so there was like this grace period. Where they're like you have to have your vaccine but they also go but no one's going to do nothing about it. Everyone's like okay so meaning like nothing's happened yet. Well then you tell me what better time in the world for a snooty. Bucci free role. Jay and silent. Bob's nucci boot. She's saying right now if you're vaccinated you're fucking loser and you should fuck your vaccinated. I'm not your fucking told me up your fucking faggot sell. You believe this fucking shit. That government sells you. You fucking open my fucking dead body willing vaccinated. No we won't back. We won't ask how no we won't fax by the way for people who are pro vaccine like this is so offensive lewis saying it is the vaccine talking. It is out. That's actually. The vaccine is poisoned his brain and he is not vaccinate. Put a whole aspirin right. Where he remembers. Getting the gotcha pitches. Yeah it's your own vaccine. I'm about to turn into a twenty eight days later. Zombie once they let me give it to you. Snooty bucci's but i supposed to say. Yeah what does this not. Bucci fucking boomer did right. We doesn't cool. We get you only sort of smoke in five years ago Them getting good at it. Barris dad could so good at it. I lost my voice for marching somehow. Lost my voice for moshen. There's someone's replacement pizza. Good good pizza really knocked over a so much shit by the way. Look how hot this fucking bitch as holy shit. Oh my god. God bless your soul sir. This guy's a fucking junkie music brutus. There's there's no way he got this hot chick without produce. Lots of lay on him. God bless you sir your bitches. So hot lewis is great confusing some dude. Where he's like is he talking. Shit complementing may am. I gonna with murder you to fuck your chick anyway but if you look at him he has to be like a music producer or something. There's no way that this guy. He has something cool. He does cool. Yeah he has the earring porn star. Though i say detail time she likes them dangerous. Now this guy. This guy does some shit in the industry i guarantee goddamn t at. There's no way bitches that hot. No i think her dad just fucking touch her ass or something. I like jay's gas because he didn't go crazy over the top just touched her ass a little grabby when she became a teenager. Inappropriate necessarily dramatic music. Sir just give us a five to ten minutes. We have to fire and hire another intern in order to get this traumatic music. That's sad that's sad music from dinner. That was good Her bobby always comes in ten minutes later with arrowsmith. This isn't dramatic. This is like if we're waiting to be like in a get a hand job at a smaller like lying there. I was like all right. Is this a jerk place or is this a regular masada. I don't know the the the that would those hand. I'm asking all right. I liked. we're going but this is like imagine we are on a reality dating show. My the only one is starting to like this music. Good but i'm about to ask him if he's gonna give her the rose or not to. This is a business hanky okay. That's better perfect. Sat what come with me if you wanna live. I can't save your curl. Toby curls on the other side just if my death brings freedom to the next generation then so be it So i will not let you go brother. You've worked hard way too long for this. Sir what is your occupation. I'm a designer designer. When you look at that designer in the trenches next to you have been somewhat has to call the textile company because it summer skirt season. And you look in that man's eyes and you know he's got your jesus present bigger. Just do this good for the rest of the rest of the show but jay got so engaged in his bit. This was going. This is an interesting little fucking boomer. Proving that he's not a real pothead moment right. He got seven kids grow up. He just kept on tapping the joint until half came out. And half the fucking join nucci boot. She's kept on sneaky boots. Hit right in the fucking ashtray but scoop it back in god j. That was a nightmare. Bucci god here we go. Oh like a glove. you're a designer scotsman. Gave the whole time friend. What are you guys fucking. Talk about fall fashions. I mean this guy. You must've have famous designer. Or you know designer world. Now you're open mic design music. He's a graphic design. A graphic designer. I thought you. I thought you made her dress. He's a graphic designer has such a range of how successful or not successful. You could be like you can just got an iphone. Yeah you could. You could be like. I designed billboards or i designed zach. Amigos flyer rose next shadow. Both of them are pretty sick though. No i'm saying zakum meco guy makes millions a god. Bless you. so you're fucking check mad hot fucking or are you a fan of allegiance saints. Podcast ended up here. She is all well. I'm going to say hey hot mitch. Thank you for your patronage. I was. I was gonna say marry her but then i was like no. That's not a good idea if you're if there's a guy who his check is convinced to come to our show mary her but if there's a choke who convince you to come to this show. Keep your options open. Something's wrong i don't know. She convinces him to come to this show sexually. She's the only fuck you the legion of gangs podcast She's hispanic through. She's like our only fuck you up but you wanna stay with me for you gotta comes see this bach and if you think is to raise i can be man. I'm not going to let you take care of my baby. You can no longer be a padre to my knee. You're much of a beta queer. What type of girl gets their guy who to lead you to say guy works in a fashion and easing gay Snooty bucci happens sometimes fixed. It happens sometimes like there's a girl who's a fan of the show and the husband's not or the guy's not happens a lot and now weird what happened. Do you like it so far or this is awful. I hate this. He hates it. It's the worst the worst. The worst is the guy that doesn't know how to behave when it is his girl. Who's into the show and she's excited to meet like after a standup show. And then the guy's just kind of like yes pretty good. I guess i don't care. They really have to like hold their grounds. Yes always got thing where like the checks like. Oh my god huge fan so glad to come out. You are amazing blah blah blah and. The guys like not bad pretty good stuff keeps trying all right real quick guys. Let's talk about one of our incredible sponsors which is better help. Today's episode is sponsored by better health. And better how. They really are incredible. Way to get counseling online. It's done so much easier. You don't have to go. What if you're let's say you're dominican girl who's been raped by most of her family. Better help would really probably theoretically in that completely. Random scenario yeah. I'd suggest going to better health. Yeah why you probably want somebody to talk to not your family your family clearly. You can't talk on schmucks worthy. I'd say family now. steer clear. Yeah but better how it makes it easy. It's affordable it's faster it's more convenient. There's no sitting in traffic and it's not like this is for everybody. It's not just. Some dominican was raped as a child. I just be struggling. Day-to-day thin yes. It's not a crisis line. Help if you find any of our jokes hilarious. You probably need some type of help. Yeah you really do need some zip and there's the conversation for your first. Why did i laugh so hard. This horrible thing. That was a sad sad part of this ad. Read fuck go right now to better with on that razor no no keep going with that as their kidding you listened to me talking to you. Know cross ways because it sends a message. But it's not gonna kill you right now go to better help dot com slash l. o. s. to join one over one hundred million. Everyone on earth has been better. You're the last joined yet jerk on. What do you need to see. You need help. And what you believe me when i tell you that one trillion people have benefited from help run biz zillion. People have tried to better help today. No go to better health dot com slash l. o. s. to join over one million people who have taken charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. There are new testimony from users that are posted daily. And there's so many people that are using their recruiting counselors in all fifty states. So right now go to better help dot com slash l. o. s. that's better gop dot com slash l. o. s. to save ten percent off your first month. Okay where were we well look. There's a lot going on right now. In the world of comedy. I mean do we want to talk about This comedian overdose. That was what you just heard was lewis's conscience we want to talk about Come on voice louis head to your conscience making fun of it. Why would you make fun of that. Fuck you dave. You're a terrible person. Can't deal is terrible person saying i was saying. I don't even know what the topic is. Let's have a moment of silence. You turn italian a moment. Is i know you four. Comedians went down three. Pass away one in. I think she's ok recipes. Fuqua johnson fucking friend roy. Yeah that's hanging out with him like three days ago. Not doing anything hanging out one of my three days four days ago. Damn yeah. That's but the mother fuckers. Fuck them fuck those idiots too in the story kate. One is Alive but not doing good. Or what's the crash. Yeah coke dude. No one may ever nope no more no. No i'm saying number selling. I'm saying no comma more coke now fucking party. I'm not a bitch. There's another comedians. Going to get a bad batch of coke. We're in the clear grabbers. Baby lewis playing law of averages probably will not you're right. There's gonna be another but the of comedians that get a bad batch a coke if you're in another industry i'd say omar from the wires has died of cocaine to fit in all my silence isn't it so isn't federal folk down right like it's like some heroin so i think it's just like a hundred times. The power of the problem is like a little bit on your fingertip could kill you. Yeah is that right. Yeah hell yeah. I being mixing. It just seems to me. I don't fucking know. But i feel like mixing like a powerful downer with cocaine is probably like the worst thing for your fucking body you could do. Rank is it like the worst ashen couture show ever. Why is it ever done. It can be feel really sick than you look up. The block and ashton kutcher is running at you shit. I'm gonna trucker hat. Your friends are all different while wild. Oh what is it like how people would put razor blades in halloween candy. Like oh i think it's used to cut it. I think just using cut cocaine. that's crazy. They use it to like stretch it to make it more. Potent right is too potent again too. It's like you're you're basically powder so you know like one batch might have all the feno and another batch might just be someone's like has a big bag of on there like i'm just gonna sprinkle a little bit too talk a little bit of a little bit of prime mixed into the whole thing. Did i put on this winter. Probably not because man. I gotta stop doing this. And all before mixing this fat and i keep wondering how long it took the fucking kick in that. It was bad because everyone did it. So apparently what. I'm hearing this at So they were all for together and then and then one of took a little bit and she didn't feel very well so she went to go lay down and then when she woke us. More co for us. Let's do a walk. Dan where she will hurt her legs or something like that and she call for help and then when the person who came over to help came over and it's all three dan by jesus christ came. came call for help so they probably don't wanna bunch more of it and fucking all jazz cry. That's what my sources say. Don't trust read it man saying just you got. I tell you who's really going direct to the months of this whole thing hootie. Oh yeah that's right. That's keep mentioning. Who because they used. Why was he even involved. Tmz or such pieces of shit there right. This focused article in there like who and by the way this place or something dating. She's not dating anymore. I think she lived in his place or was her place but it was like. I wanna be that rich girl casually girl that casually dated one of my homes. Yeah right. that's some fucking healers and the blowfish money. Yeah that's a hold my hand at you. Yeah hope they all. I hope it gets better. Macy's sweet sweet. Hope last sweetheart. She's a sweet home. I would never cut damn more fuck is wrong with these days. Here remains louis. No more coke for you ever dude number cook for you ever jay. Okay okay. it seriously to we're not doing anymore. You give up so easily so stressed up in this conversation. I got my fucking head dude. No more co for you. Louis co for you. Okay that was my hasten coke shan't hold on. I have to go to the bathroom six more times right. Yeah that is awful. Chet horrible. Well can we come up with the list of comedians that we would rather die instead of. Oh yeah is that okay it can be. We gotta sure. I feel like that's all we can do at this point. We get some immemorial music. Please some more dramatic music around your heart. Pretty baby z. Essential ruled me. That's also the worst coke music ever imagine having to listen to hootie and the blowfish even worse having a do coke with darius drucker. Listen who tuna blowfish stories. All my god. One time we won't to collective soul couldn't believe all the forty year old single moms out there hoping to suck our dicks black crowes once told me what is who i wouldn't hooley. Who is who know who is who is a person named hootie. Are you so that you don't know that the black guy who's lead singer hooting the blowfish. Every black guy for a decade that was sort of white acting after him. They called hootie call so black bomber hootie for like two years. I'm so black that what you said like break up a song. I was gonna start seeing an end of the road by boyz cross. Rose by bows. She's so much. I feel like when lewis said he goes. He's he was so white that we called obama foodie for the first few years. I was gonna say who's obama. Yeah i am the president guy. I mean here. We call them baraki thing. It was like a proper band. Was it not. The lead story was black. That's the same time more. Go okay good. This was so. What's there hit letter. Hold my hand. Hold my hand. Hold my hands big one. Those were both the things that he said to kate and like. Oh why we're not telling jokes instead of heartfelt lewis with an awesome thing i love. You can't get home to go. Get better kate now. Let's have some fun will soon. I like she's catches. Yeah she is. She's cute yeah. Can we pull up. A list of julia blowfish. Just bring up. hold my hand. that's the hit i made. We shouldn't play the songs because then we'll get the list of songs. Put it up on karaoke. Mean louisville singer. We'll singing right now can somebody. Can't somebody bring the speaker. Indicates hospital over him right now and we'll saturday at her. All my goal. Jomar being fucking group. What are you doing far what. That's nothing that's a nice thing that we're doing just trying to. I was trying to fund the whole time. This is my relationship kate. You're still hanging on for. Please come out better. Sue suma dick's hard of a mother. I bet you she's listening right now. We can serenade her with some fucking blowfish. feel better. i'll say blow. Don't blow here room. Let her cry. We don't need this karaoke of hold my hand the big one. That was the biggest. So i don't really want be with hurry now i mean. She's in the icu. Now's the time you don't like them sleep. Let's i mean my favorite song is let her cry. And i also think it's the most appropriate that was that was actually a real good song. Cry dude love. I completely non ironically actually really like that i like. I like the who'd he saw hurt. None of these halls have we're gonna send one right educate me. I bet you'll remember the letter cry. Let's go right. This is for k. Quigley ship my good friend. I mean. I don't even know if i could hit these. You got it. I don't know this is tough. I mean darius rucker's the seasonal pool trying to escape her own staff now former tells me aware hatch to god. I say that i don't care. I'm just rolling. Okay greg you got a cool. I don't i don't wait cry. Every would probably not a fuck out of he says owner pain go letter wall around. And if the southern auto manner who letter a much more. Because i think i think i think i think on the next verse. You get him on the next not this tomorrow. This morning i woke up about sitting by the. Oh maybe maybe our backs Were you wanted to look for you. Know back now. And i had a bear. Sorry oh everybody A he's older. Go and insert a moral letter. Here's where really picks up. This is what they call the bridge. Last crescendo come on everyone at the hospital allowed nurses owner leaves last night. I tried bras was Savior back you get high law couching here and please your whole ma letter. Giving tears fall down letters. A lead is good letter. Wall may and if the sun comes out tomorrow early letter down letter so harmony is playing that walker on and if the gums up tomorrow letter a. quickly gate. Hey hey hey hey k. k. I hours just no more. Heart monitor stops. That was all she was only living for that. I heard that was her will to live right there. She was all they did it. Shit i thought you. God if the skanks ever sing the letter cry i'll happily go into the next the next to work down in the fuck. Are you saying we should probably do. Hold my hands. No i thought it was going to be that song done. No no no onder town on a rock and roll to that now. Let's dobie grey recipes. Dobie grey more uncle kracker thinks. Oh uncle kracker you also did it. Okay well to white guys right now Right now the doctor talking to kate's parents like we try to highly experimental procedure. Boombox last crazy man. Yeah honestly get get well. Cade back to coke suspicious. Fuck that. I gotta get loose guys. Real quick about one of our longtime sponsor over here skanks. Of course that is blue shoe hard. Dick's we love them. Pollute shoe is james. Here that thaad slam it again. Do it again. Oh my god those old bluetooth did my do. I took three blue cheese before the show started. I'm rock-hard dude. You're gonna fucking alright. I'm worried about your being too hard. Now what if it breaks through the skin dude. It's just all muscle. Feel that all j i do. I'm inside of jay's asshole right now on my arm hang on a second guys. Give me two seconds. I'll do is added a second four. Oh my god damn oh my. Jeez louise throbbing right in your mouth. Trying to try to think the ad in your mouth doc dirty slut no awful fate here. You're waiting wider harvey his bell the white now up. Oh you don't like swallowing pills. No problems here. Blue has the same ingredients as viagra. Seattle's but it's chewable gets into your got. Goddamn mouth hurts. That was a real fucking jaw. Stretcher bro l. u. I know thank you blitz you. I can't explain anymore. Get that extra confidence you need to perform. Go to blue dot com for more details. Important safety information also at lisa's gangs. Of course we have a deal for you. You try blue free right now and use the promo code legion at checkout. You only pay five dollars shipping blue dot com promo code legionnaire. Get your first month for free. Thank you blew responding with podcasts. I can't believe you guys really did that for the ad no watch. I'll do here. We are going gonna hit the back of his throat right now. dude never touched my cheeks. Swear to god cheeks dave. I'm fucking asks. You guys want him to stop recording. Yeah you guys wanna party a little bit about this shit. Well i'm going. I'm going to london. I'm gonna england in the uk altogether soon. What a wasted phone. Well actually let's do plugs real quick. Okay 'cause i wanna plug my my london date sick to shows seven thirty shows also that we just added nine thirty. Show one night only jamal for one night. Only london england the puerto rico. Think himself homecoming bedrock. Tober fifth tuesday night city comedy club. Grab your tickets. That lewisham skanks dot com. I want to sell that shit out. I'm doing a woman up for a few days after that. But i'm getting day early. Slipknot dude noted slipped of the tuesday when we get back all right. Let's see jomar. Sorry i'll do my other blogs after you go. Yeah oh go. I i've been doing. Nfc are do not ask him what the end stands for. What yeah and i'm good. Hit me up for that link open. See oh and i'm in a new house party movie coming out next july me kidding. Play involved there like cameos. Some good ship got like a wolf like hell a cameo heavy. Lebron james like bullshit loved i love. Yeah love oh. I love those party to how it was actually better than a house. Party wanted to me has forty-three with With the Class act. I was okay with decent. I i is a kid loved. Class act. Love loved house party wanting to know memory of the third one. It's not good. It was a it was a motion vehicle for tlc. And she yeah. I don't remember the movies at all. They're just fun time. Yeah remember. Christopher read he did stand up Remember how yeah for what i started. Actually he came around a few times faust philly. Yeah kid from kid and play kind of. I thought he had christopher reeve wrong. Read nicole okay. So weirdly enough. He was a writer on fuck in real time with bill. Maher for longtime kid from kidding. Play nice yeah. We think he appeared on the show to probably. Yeah a couple of things that are coming up guys loose stealing the books or even social media. he he gave us plots tamar underscore neighbors. Louise van wees september sixteenth. The depraved returns to the stress factory in new brunswick new jersey. It's going to be myself. Adrian baluchi derek. Gains zach. Emeco mike cannon. Louis castle is bucket. Bananas is going to be so much as the dirtiest comedy show in the entire fucking world then number twenty fifth. I'm going to get soldiers shows in one night. Little skunk preview with a bunch of comedians Joseph ryan put this show together with a bunch of great comics. Come out of your in your soul does. And then i'm going down to austin texas september thirtieth through october second library last podcasts on thursday then santa shows on friday and saturday. Get all the tickets. Lewis of skanks dot com right now Yeah davey just part of the problem at comic came smith on twitter. That's all i'm all over the road. Everybody big jake comedy dot com from dates next weekend charlotte north carolina moon tower festival coming after that miami with a minority should fear. And just and silver. Doing a whole week in miami at the improv Portland i got nonstop. Gigs coming up to the rest of the year. So big dot com course bonfire siriusxm faction. Talk one zero three monday through friday seven. Pm also available where you get. Podcast tuesday through friday brand new episodes of the bonfire podcast on spotify to get your Downloads from and the sdr. Show right here on the guest digital network. Speaking of guests says it'll make sure the worst the worst here the now is the worst here at the stand First tuesday of every month. Check that louis. J gomez on the next one. Oh shit ones the date on that. I forget i'll be there soon. Also guys loved the show to subscribe directly gases. It'll network dot com. We're gonna be giving away skiing passes. Subscribers use the promo code l. o. s. seven-day free trial and get the all access membership. You get access to all the shows we've ever done. Since the beginning of the show thousands of hours of content that are not available. Anywhere else on the internet podcasts. Part of the problem. Sdr show Believe you me gomez watch seinfeld returning with me and my sister very soon. it's going to be a thank. You thank you very much goes watch assigned this coming back there. My sister's moving a block from me literally a block away. Any ash help paying the rent. The podcast again. You were able lewis. Had to bring podcast. Backed by negotiating with geneva gomez can. Yeah she just actually doing a podcast with your ex wife called fat bombs sick. How is that a joke. I swear i. I just wonder how do we know. Really throw carla and your sister under the bus dump stupid pig bitches. Dumb horse lots in the middle of a divorce right now. So she's fine. That was part of the divorce to give her a podcast. She's cool guy. Some tower you august digital. Don't fuck me in court. We can negotiate that dog got you know i got your back. But it makes you guys for the Court transcripts so makes you subscribe number com. Use the promo code l. west. What we're gonna do is. We're going to pick a subscriber every single week for the month of october using the promo code to win. A pair of all access passes to stank fest. Then we're also going to give away the contest yet. But i'm going to figure out we're going to give away at all access. All expenses paid trip to houston for scam fest as well. It's going to be pretty fucked up. We got some ideas in the work so stay tuned for all of things. Keep on supporting legion. Live twice a week. mondays. And fridays lewis. We're under under two months away under two two months away from yesterday. Skank kicks the fuck off. What are you kidding me. Are you kidding. Winter official ten year anniversary of temper. I think it's this month. You guys have been fucking for twelve month and your anniversary. Is this guy. take the person yours. Nah i don't even know what the subject is lewis with the fact that i'm blown away. It says the website is www dot bbc dot com slash news slash technology. I'm now blown away to realize that. The bbc doesn't stand for big black dog. British the british broadcast ebc dot com was not taken by big blackhawks. Yeah wild it's british people. Well if anything should be a reparation that's it if black people. Bbc dot com. I believe in justice. Can we can we talk about. This is just kind of i. Don't even know what this is. The age is a fun topic to talk about Mcdonald's unofficially reveals. What grimace is supposed to be. Don't don't i don't know. I i haven't read the article i this is q. Paul the picture of grandma ever. Everyone doesn't know go. he's a big guy. They're shaped like big jay and not exactly. I got your back bro. Pull up a picture or a video of greg. It's it's gonna really hurt dammit. Closer is those pecker asking you guys might have just thought. This was a big j silhouette. What take any guesses as to what grimace is supposed to be. Why is there a little guess. I'm gonna say i black guys. Teardrop true lies tears drops member. That's the first bit from live at webster hall. Overripe eggplant thought it was patties app. One hundred days. I think he's pretending to do hands up. Don't shoot while he reaches bro. Gone the other a while. He's making a finger gun with han ono. What is it. let's see what grievous strapped. I don't think premise has voice jay but that would have a voice sounded like that. I don't know if i'm navy doesn't that would have convinced me that. That's exactly what he's saying. It's possible grimaces of a voice. He does look like that. Black guy selling cigarettes outside of that deli. Mike brown the original. I can't breathe guy forgot. We don't talk about that guy. He does of mike brown thing about him now. Mike brown nose guy selling a guard. We're all mike brown. So by that logic he was just. It was never the hamburger. Mike brown where what say we're gonna we're gonna need that dave's to heroes lazy. Finally they meet fucking pacino deniro and heat for dave. let's go. I don't even know if they were both there. They might not be able to get him both. There might have been trick. Photography can't get these guys in the same room. What's wrong snooty. Bucci ayar grabs here. I'll roll a blunt. We can get crazy down here. I'd everyone's had a good laugh but seriously here what they have to sell these guys everything you put together some really impressive deals but this thing you pulled off. It's amazing big and tasty for just a dollar for trump. Socialized medicine is for faggots. You play for your own insurance and you eat that burger gotta bobby. Grimace doesn't talk dog. Eat in their remains does not. I've talk once intimidated by the crate. Donald donald trump dude. What are you is nervous. There's gotta be some grimace talks. What is it. In the cartoons. Mcdonald's cartoon we have audience members you got by the way thank you see waitress. Scope me out just now. I don't think anyone. He's been fucked author since i've gotten in better shape. Waitresses have been fucking. I fucking thirty. Because he's a news buddy to buddy here. Welcome to the world of fucking. Jean shorts roy. You've been going hard with those that you never know when a pan tear cover band is gonna break out and you got to lead sing that shit. Can we please grimace talking please. Because then i can. Maybe make a decision as to what he is. But there's an announcement for sure. We gave official article saying what he yes. Yes we will today. We will definitively now. Grandma says by the end of today's show. This is big this big fucking deal guys misplace up looking at your phone and look this big looking at our phone. Is there a woman back. We need to act lewis. You don't even see women anymore. I don't even see women. i'm in love. She's not now but my girlfriend does other. Jackie girlfriends fun. But we're crawford's okay. Wow everything. I want to now with my girlfriend with this other check. Her husband's a deck. But she's pretty cool. Her gay graphic designer husband sucks but she knows what i love. She's a big fan. I thank god. He works in fashion all day and we another. Could we see grandma's talking. You know what. I was thinking. Let's see alex. Alex third kamal uganda giant. All it's a bunch of grimace is so he's a samoan. Clearly this is racist. I don't care what anybody says. i don't care what this is. This is a racist commercial. Black people outside of mcdonald's opening let me tell you what i hate there. Clearly making blacks yet they're purple which couldn't be more racist fucking weekend. Look y'all cool we are. We hung out with tribespeople. Yeah we're like that. It's all bright and she'll wild thornberrys. What is just ask her kidneys. Post fucking watts who to i. Don't care what they're saying he is. Ben was an african. All your genocide on right there. I know him the third one soon. Procreation personal wanna mcdonald is just black pants looking at. What is that ronald mcdonald. Wise's hair meth addict. that's crazy. I even know this. This cartoon exists. It was the world. Breads fucking ronald. Mcdonald's bubbles from wire. what's the voice right. Julia grimace africa water. Eat a lawyer fucking. He's a retarded. Africa is there really is one voice for fat cartoons boys. Sticking perfect cartoons. Jim regular voices hero sacrifice. Our daughter. god's shaved for clint with iraq iran. who are elixir. We are purified under the coniston. Is we keep. The ten year grew from a neighborhood. We're going to rape her. Nobody has aids now. If we hide from fire can't hurt. Jennifer hudson the fifth one from the left university. What is greenwich. Do we now bobby. No i don't have any from the key dude and african if the if the commercial retarded african black do retarded african. But i just mean not just like a black dude like an american black dude like a real african fat retard like the guy on like and coming to america when before the king would enter the guy who would sing sing's point. African king enters the room. Yeah i think we got it. We even need a check. That is too. he's retarded just well. Here's the thing if what is on if we go by the the cartoon which i had no idea there wasn't. Mcdonald's cartoon gomez watches the mcdonald's cartoon coming soon guesses it'll network but going by that you know there was a cartoon but now i understand the obesity epidemic. He's an alien from some sort of like tribal. Okay have you ever fucking seen condu- macondo was in africa. We just couldn't see it because we're white. Is that what it was. Yeah you can't hear jimmy. You could listen to jimmy. Yeah a real place. I think we're con is in africa. But you couldn't see. I just love that louis called. It will khandu racist. I am i wrong about fall. Condos they're white people can't see it. I've never wrong about saying you took from the movie. I took the movie i was like. Wow i can never see. Because i want i want to. I'm an ally believe. Yeah i wanna see your technology. But they're like no sorry dude circumstantially. Sorry sorry why you're cooling all but yeah africa's not diverse enough for me. That's that's maverick. Just what what What is sufficiently bobby bates. Also officially unofficially. Mcdonald's happy meal characters is in fact a taste bud. He's an enormous taste bud but it tastes button and all right. Let me tell you so. He's a he's a giger. They were acting black dude. What happens he was. He was some horribly racist shit and now in the age of woke they're like he was a taste. Bud totally. that's what we were doing with that. African day was a taste. Bud this crazy explanation makes more sense than racist black thing. He's like like in the sixties. They dropped off like hundreds of hamburgers in africa and they watched it drives people crazy. There were like a grimace. That's them grimaces. You gotta see the cutting room floor. Those namings fucking oga. Bogo was one diabetes. The purple triangle little wordy a com- concern sickle cell one. I'd no job flying. purple people. Eater grimace loves hamburgers and hates paying child support delightful show. I approve friends. we have. We have black friends louis or here. 'cause i wouldn't ask jamarcus. I values opinion. We started the show before we went. Live olympus playing. Lewis was running around all crazy. Got them all hyped. Boy excited all weekend. I've been in a real circle of listening to ever last side projects. Because i have said very vocally that ever last to me coolest white guy ever but as in my top five coolest black dudes ever tomorrow where you stand on mount rushmore of cool black dudes. What is your list of five. Coolest guys eminem round the gates. Yeah okay eminem I thought it was gonna let him name well. I think we should have a debate over but he could still. Let's let jamal name. What is darting are. And then we'll see if we can persuade we give someone else's going you better have mr belding from saved by the bell in there. Come on dude. That guy i've ever last. I'm going to be upset. And i have a real whoever lasts this. Aren't those like a pair of boxing gloves house. The pain guy are as i m speed bag. I think otherwise. I ever boxing short the first thing i think jay said to me today when i saw him was i've been listening to a lot of ever last size tags white guy. Why would it be the coolest white guy. He was black. Oh i missed that part. I'm like m. Toko black eminem had like a whole beef thing with him. Eminem rectus shit. Yeah i don't know about that. Yeah he fucking destroy them. It's all the time you're from your more eminem fan than ever last fan so the younger guy wants you. Because he was your god dude. If absolutely beat eminem ever last was here right now with us he would agree with me. That eminem fucking shit. Bullshit and machine. Gun kelly when eminem for the same thing being old. It's the same thing she kelly turns he got wrapped right out of fucking rap. Music machine eminem destroyed machine gun kelly so bad that machine kelly is now a net flicks actor. He's he's he's just pop punk now but all right. I'm going to go bang. Megan fox literally just bullshit. Megan fox and sort of like whatever from michigan. Kelly insulted eminem for being old and then went and banged the hot chick from eminem's day. Yeah and but also machine gun. Kelly is like he. He's does like pop punk now. He does like fucking guitar machine. Kelly's a her bitch. Fuck rob unaware that a problem kelly robbins. We're doing all the people that were more likely to meet your robin thicke know what's going song. Because he did that song little wayne and once you fuck with little wayne you wayne is my people. His logic is there tight. That's to keep arguing and get a other three. Okay all right but you don't know who he is dan. Sodas argument is always white chocolate jason williams from the sacramento king. Who was say steph. Curry jason williams. I gotta tell you. I'm just being honest with you. I don't know about these side projects. I really liked house a pain. Yeah i thought they were great. Don't think ever last is making anyone's top five coolest white guys so cool right now. Okay i'll take your word for it but top five. Don't take my word for hobby here. Trying to make this mount rushmore. Which by the way Is for but still make it top five top five list of names. We're coming up with a mount rushmore of white men time. Mount rushmore had some white faces highly. Finally some with the balls to do it much. Iggy azalea bobby. Bobby bring world's ends. Its war porn industry. It's called one more old argue with each other one more. I'm not gonna kill her people in alia. But she she she fuck playboy cardi and that nasa nick. He's the second verse. Bobby with a a mattie e r. Hello well well. Both you gotta go. In course white guy. Go and drink lewis plan. What is this not him. Go past that ladies and gentlemen right here come on. He's the coolest. He loves scarves like me. He wears hoodies shorts. Like me looks like it. Looks like wigger santa claus. Shut your mouth lewis. Who so cool j. This is not helping your case only christmas. Y'all s exactly alike so pool david town. He's not lewis six year old guy in a bucket skate park in abandoned building out of here old man. We're trying to skateboard. He's trying to lead out some fucking lyrics on your ass. You too rod rap out of our skate park you fucking old. Herb ever is everlasting officer. I own the place. I'm just trying to make it look cool. I ever less thinks he's number. One number one was white guy now. Court is cooler than ever last. Corn sucks coal. Jonathan davis on the phone. So lewis can tell him again. We'll tell them to his face once again. Oh endure zimmerman number five. Because he because he wanted to fight mex- the shad allah school after he did what he did. Yeah he killed back dish it up and see what off fight and i'll fuck. Bmx up to real shit right there. You're right that's four. We have a list. of course. white people are eminem. Robin thicke iggy azalea george zimmerman. I answered this week and then he's some tweaking for sure. This mars list we can try to connect gets the final says. Oh he put you on dude. You see those tattoos. Don't fuck like fuck it dude you ever last. Because i don't know we should be ever last me. Iggy azalea that is the obvious. Also weirdly jailers like across between george zimmerman with with with a sprinkle of everyone thought. No i wish. I'd iggy azalea ash tied his belt so tight it gives a kid it will be big j. o. Kherson ever rules. She goes crazy. I'm not against them. See it now jason. Oh yeah my style jet. We did a cartoon. Dave short cartoon thing and big data the waste of george zimmerman. Did i remember this. I'm the cartoon i just remember. Being george zimmerman means a superhero is zimmerman. You remember the thing that kinda shit it was. It was about a team of superheroes neighborhoods. Clearly they were. They were a team of superheroes comprising of oj. Simpson adolf hitler. Hitler george zimmerman osama bin laden osama sama bin laden. George was george ever was. He didn't really have superpowers just pretending to have superpowers on the team. Control the control. The neighborhood watch every community in the country it was a it was an alternate universe. Where everything that they did with turned out to be for really good. Motivations like the twin towers were evil robots that were gonna kill the country so had to take them out and he's a huge patriot. Me and lewis. Were sure this was going to be the thing that broke up. I didn't work out. I ended up in one of the wayne's brothers mansions pitching this to them at one point. Well listen mr wayne and mr wins so this this so mr raines is. I'm a big fan of all twelve of you. Hey listen can you guys put the white chicks makeup on some more comfortable. I brought the legia script around to a lot of networks and they were like yeah. Okay yeah you're welcome guys. It said a twin towers or robots. They were they were together. Country jews robots. That's why hitler to kill them all like everyone was justified. In what justin bieber. Somebody justin bieber yeah. Justin bieber was in there too. We just throw them in for him. Honorable numbers you. Just paul paul. The one scene with osama and the romans. It was bad. It wasn't good for the animation and the writing. The animation was good. It was just wasn't mix while the audio was wondering did i invest in the ground level. I sure do sure that big j paid to make this short. I did never went anywhere. Didn't that final cut. Necessarily you guys pitch it to Is with seven of the twelfth. Wayne's is sean weighing. Say they were like we like this. We never got back to. He did it as homey the clown though. That was the weird part. We don't play hit lewis with asakusa at home. We don't play. That world is falling to pieces out there. Get your heads out of your asses. Mr. you're absolutely right. We should be better everything for america. That's whoever lose dating team. Please report to. My name was immediately all right. We got it sorted a boy now. You're strong it's a has days everybody. It was about ninety percent. Dan soda work manisha. Brilliant man. I thought it had potential note by hollywood again. Did you guys pitcher to adult. Swim a few people. It just never materialized is fred durst on your cool. Or now since he's device taback whereas he's divisive for cool but he not cooler underneath motherfuckers. Ray george zimmerman is fucking. Yeah because you know that is about that life. If he had to sure you're right he's willing to pull the trigger for sure efforts. I might be all bullshit. Yeah trayvon martin's death but he did what he did if he had to do it. Skills could have been a gun. Yeah sure can't you never seen a rainbow looking biscuits some water. Let me get that. Water tastes the rainbow is past that you put this in a brown paper bag lease giddy. Water dude guys. Let's take a quick moment and thank our sponsor for today's show. Which of course is fume. everyone knows by now. Fume is the natural inhaler that makes it easy to get. The benefits of super plans on the fume is a canadian made wooden inhaler with no electronics and no chemicals added just cores but it does say she hates the oral fixation of small. Well yeah j. Because they of course filled only with the benefits of super plans. Said i'll see. She had to roll fixation. Jay here by digging about second. Hang on hang on. I would try to throw it right here. we go. i'll for those it for the man for for those of you. Listening lewis actually put a fume on the tip of his dick. And then fuck j's that i put the core insider my deck whole lewis. Suck it out. Lewis got some canadian made. Would for me off you guys. Stop recording louis. The sickest for allergy relief but not relaxation. Well he's the conquer core is a bunch. They've helped me cut back on vaping. A bunch of really good for quitting smoking quitting vaping. And like you said. They have suffered allergy relief and relaxation. And all of that go. Check it out you can. You can learn more about them and see the entire program and all their products that breathe fume dot com slash legion. So for him dave. Okay sure no problem b. r. e. h. e. f. u. m. f. com slash legion. It's fume like motley crue out. Yeah breathe fees view your mobile at. There's an ladder it'd be food. Yeah breathe out. No but there should be. I think there might be on the logo. So it's yeah motley. Fool phonetically boom. I know that. I didn't major in linguistics. Bronx county community college breath whom dot com breath. It's breathe fumed dot com slash legion. Be our f you am. Leave that e off backslash legion and you'll save ten percent right now if your order breathing the benefits of the world's super plans today all right. We're where we can. We talk about this this facebook thing facebook. I don't really even know the story. But it's racist is hell hell. You just read facebook. Mistakenly labeled black men primates. Okay all right they know fucking young man college educated. It's just tough because that's the same thing the monkey said last week so we got to where there's no way blacks on people. Blacks are people. Blacks are people. Tell them martin. Luther king march vitiate. He didn't he had an uber. Who's riding around. yeah i will. I will admit that. Just reading the headline. It doesn't sound good for facebook. it doesn't but i'm willing to hear facebook items lower either way. Facebook is being nominated for real estate of the week. Okay fair but we'll see what happens. So what does this story about more information. Can i say this facial. Recognition is races is it. Yeah i've heard that from coming year it's not gonna no way no way you guys look nothing alike no way. That's not real. Shut the fuck up dude. No way people's phones are completely unsecure. Close lewis you finally. Why black black face do the crip walk. Now wait hold on hold on are you fucking with us. Is that real my man when we get another black person. Is there another one. here we He got glasses all right there. He has glasses. I quit my man. Louis disappointed breakfast of here. We have black friends away. No way make king let me let me let me know way. Buck you steve. Ups steak ass pancreas and to her tomorrow. Just said that because his last name is jobs even know he worked for apple. Market me with your last name mother. My real last night was unemployment. Anybody love our water well. Systemic racism is real. Yeah yeah you know what that's wild. I can't believe facial recognition well. What was the story with facebook. Do we now. After video of a bunch of black is talking. Paul why did they make utah. This i brought like army expert on races. Taking tennessee guy. So after video of a couple of black guys talking watch next or you wanna see more videos of primates or if you like this video. You'll also like eating a mango with this. Hey mad man. Most i just wanna say shop all black people watching it. No so fuck racism. We some king fuck racism. I will say that we really got. I gotta say i haven't huge black fan base there. You can't lose them. And if you enjoyed that speech you might enjoy this video of primates and people who enjoy this video also have enjoyed jane goodall teaching me how to read. That's fucked up man at least educated. The yellow racism can't be fun podcast. Our neighbors rules the video. Bobby is there a video and primary paul's opportunity to shine article. Thanks greg screen-grabbed or something to prove it. Just some guy on the internet said something it all the way here skanks. Facebook apologizes is ai. Labels black men. Primates aren't we all primates. Technically yeah exactly exactly please. The whole they was just trying to say all lives matter in his own way. Do we have to make this thing just about black people. read this. We all get shot by bringing it up here. we go. facebook told big black cock news. It was clearly unacceptable error system and launched an investigation. We apologize anyone that they have to apologize on behalf of the robot who fucked up like it's all an algorithm. That did this right well. The robot had a difference of opinion. Say saray look like monkeys tell you. They're less than human. Come on people. We all know what i'm talking about. How seriously you're gonna pretend like you. There's a couple of good ones part. I mean i'm sure. I don't wanna to stay with their own. We stand with our own. Everyone's by saying they should be hurt. But you know. Stay in your area house. They in mind though. So water on that god damn funk your circuit fucking around with my people i knew it black guy would ruin me shutting down. Go back to earth for funniest. That's one of the funniest things of in a long time. Keep seeing about primates fucked up. Y'all making me wanna drop off all my gymnastics last. This is rock climbing back off your mortgage. You're gonna cancel your american ninja warrior audition. I was going to breeze do that. I'll tell you what it is. Funny when they say a place where it is odd to see black people. Hanging out white man caused cops on black minute marina like what are you doing. I mean for real though. Good mom to buy a boat. I think they would call the cops on. Meet a marina. We see the video of the white men calling the cops and the black either marina. I just wanna watch that right now. If i didn't know jay. And i saw him marina. I'd have nine and one dial don't of course i'd be holding that other one. I'm no way i think he. I think that he's going to perform at a heavy metal cruise. Yeah which is likely happening. Yeah you guys. Fucking rock the pontoon. This year. I would love to watch that video. There's no hold on. We'll see well. This is the perfect guy. Let's say some volume primate video. This is the one that they suggested for. Can we were wind volume on. Because i don't hear primates tape and let's throw some fucking volume on it. Everybody's volume was taken away. Bobby from the beginning though. Maybe we should ask the audience if they want to find value no volume by spokane volume by a hair. Let's mix it up system volume on this ship. Bobby taken away. I'll be video keeping back. It up one sir. That on a talk. That is not the bragg you think it is. I live on these. Docs this is all. I have been in a houseboat since eighty six being cheaper. Back it out your pause it. That did that help in the. I'm not gonna fault the guy for big descriptive. One blind person can feel like a lot of black people for show. you know. there's a bunch of black guys here. Well to buckeyes at the docks a lot of black what he's fucking. He's pretty aggressive for the guy. Call him a this. is marcy. go this is too much never again. Not this shit. That was it. he's going to visit. He's running to the hospital. Visit k quickly right now running. All right not really. He's gone okay. I totally get where this guy's coming from. I mean come out all my god getting harassed marine here my very expensive boats i live here gives up before jamarcus back black guys nearest boat. What is he doing. What are you here to steal my worms. We come on dude. I'm trying to live on a boat. This here's my bait. We don't have black friends breeder thank god he's gone. Hey what any weekend be ourselves. Hey guys in the crowd get into his phone real quick tweet tweet anything you want from tamar neighbors account. This is your one opportunity. Know rita's emails dammit. Too quick black guy. Here i'll be completely honest with you. I was trying to convince the other black people here to get into your phone takes shit so we can continue the video. The video wanna see some crazy shit. He called the right number. I'm sorry this nine one two hours. I apologize jim shrimp shack. All right. i'll have a large order of fries. Can i show you guys. Some real quick to super-quick shore locked locked lot lot own. No way no no. No no baby baby. Wait hold on hold on how. How have enough black people not complained yet about this. Maybe did something wrong. What what do you tell me. If i bring black baby with me i can get into any black man's phone on this planet. Wow right i. I'm gonna wait till you're sleeping like deebo friday august first of all you're not gonna get anywhere near a black man with a baby Off very much. That baby bobby throwback to the clip. I have people trying to put in the water. That is illegal. Vote in the water. They do not quite often name sir. We should name sir to the water. You don't know that. By the way this is i'll tell you right now. This is the best video from the black people's perspective ever where he's black people and i'm trying to put my boat go sir. What seems to be the problem like they couldn't be more like you're like i don't think they required this detention. Funny how do you fly j. That robot thing was great but it was like ten seconds ago funny. Came down here to sit in the parking lot. Apparently yeah but how do you win the war. How do you know i picked. This guy's whatever this guy's name is it ends like you know why like a nickname named scotty or something. Say right now. It sounded like he actually had a legitimate complaint. What was competing. I don't understand this. Is this the primate michio. This is the video that suggests afterwards. You wanna watch more videos of. But that's not really because they don't show the black guy at all so that's not like i have a feeling we're getting to the black guys part. Yeah i think it man this start eating bananas. You're going back to the bathroom. Oh i thought that was i roy. Okay so now. That video didn't even show black people. That's a non story. That's a fake story. I call bullshit. I call bullshit. Woke internet shit on that story. Oh shit bullshit. Internet shit bullshit walk. Shit also i'll tell you i would have been pretty quickly to side with you louis that this is all bullshit intil. Jamal had black baby get into his phone over this man back. We're sally struthers podcast races. And i love it flying around black. We try then flies to around but do you have any idea hours to racism that we price of a cup of coffee black. Maybe not washing their clothes and rhinoceros. Shit look we gotta get out of here soon. But i'm going to london. I wanted to figure out what i. I've never been to england before i'm going to. I'm going to london. Manchester glasgow. Bland food give handouts to a guy with an uncircumcised. Dick get a blowjob girl with several missing teeth. Man i think that's all of it Chimney chimney for sure I have a spoonful of sugar. Visit that lead and building. I think leaning bill. What's the story morning. Glory hail hitler at auschwitz on is out there. Also check out some bbc while you're there the local bbc you've been england right. Yes i have. What's your ideal england. What would you say for me you know. What would you hop on the color. No but must be knowing knowing lewis what would be the thing to do. All right Get lost get furious. Go to starbucks threatened to fight cabdriver on the different side of the car. It's talk dude. I've you ever yelled at a cab driver sitting in the back. Who the right for your whole thing. It's like starting all over again. But how about i. Fucking shoot out of your. I'm sorry will you move over to their seat right now. I'm not really good. Take me to parliament motherfucker. I'm going to sit down the call. What's what are these seats. All fucked up out of the motherfucker pizza shit wise your steering wheel and the right or is going to drive down the wrong side of the street hop those bustling a double decker bus. You own or some. She'd go go fuck with those. The guards who aren't supposed to move do daran guards talk to me. I guarantee you can get the guards to arrest you. I'll tell you what without a doubt. I say i in the faces of those giant dorks if they tried to arrest turns out there strong. No rea- police. I say you try to put a cigarette in their mouth and spin. Kick it out. I'm just saying no reading. I wouldn't do that but if i were you. Your training no. I wouldn't do that. 'cause i couldn't pull it off but you could pull it. They can't say anything right. Oh yeah oh totally. Is that a thing. Silk may not say anything. I'm pretty sure they'll break character and beat the shit at no way i will. I will go right into that. That's going to be the one thing i do in london. Is i go to the guards. Outside of that horror queen's castle. And i'm gonna fuck rub your ass crack up and down their staff. I'm gonna look right in your fucking face gonna carry a staff. Member have bayonets. I thought it was lewis's either going to go to jail or ended up in the royal family True be guys. I'm fucking the princess. Yeah hey guys remember fyrke. She loves it. I i'm. I'm very excited to go. I i'm the shows I'm only doing one. Night of headlining shows while i'm there but it's gonna be a little preview. I think i'm going to go back to europe this spring and summer because i got a lot of people telling me. They're excited to come out hell you well. Where in europe you thinking for the summer. We'll definitely all over cabin. Go back to the uk and visit the place that like amsterdam. Probably got some fans there. germany Where i can find nazis. Oh real not argentinas argentina. Yeah or in his audiences. Come on who that yeah okay. You're right on that one. Shar sure that pick was accurate. Yeah that is racist road worker. Orange of the black guys always hold the sign. How how did this hot chick get into us. This is crazy. Her face is perfect right. She's like the oil. Yeah dude nicholas nick. Is i mean people. People just men men telling you. She got fingered by a babysitter or some shit like that. Right something we get your music music bubby. We're gonna get to the bottom of this. Why does hot chick likes. This show is impossible. Why what happened her boyfriend. Tony traumatic music. J just as dramatic no every morning. There's something bringing that every morning. They're good so really hot. Chick did your dad taught you know. Louis louis ask you ask your anybody touch though. Ask you if somebody touched somebody. That's hurt dramatically. Bobby dragging really hot medical. Did anybody touch you. The age of consent venezuela's nine astor got thumping nine venezuela the capital city of the dominican republic and venezuela. I love mexico this time of year. It's pretty wild venezuela. The french rivera neighbors. Thank you so much for being one of the best defense bizzare but it makes you check him out and follow his shit. He is hilarious. I lost so bs gang. Fasten two months. You will skank fest brio soon. Everybody we will catch you later. This week on the leisure skanks until then he's been listening to the legion of games podcast with j. o. Kherson release yard up on. I four me. Of a shepherd of shitheads. luis gomez was j. Gomez you look at me on a break. Your fucking jaw. I wanna punching your fucking knows male punch magic in his fuck an comedian. James smith fuck you. I got us. I feel like if i wanted to be gay fucking. Stick your fist up your ass. You blew the legion of skanks podcast. Ding-dong we're done here time to go.

lewis coke Snooty bucci Bucci jay hootie kate kherson scherzer louis j gomez yamanaka mr andrew jackson eminem moshen Fuqua johnson Baby lewis dave Louis co darius drucker Lewis Mcdonald
S2:E76 Except the owner!

The Captain's Log with Host Brien Spina Podcast

12:46 min | 2 years ago

S2:E76 Except the owner!

"We're live. Good morning big. J. O kherson. They come back. He I didn't realize like seven years ago was the last time we talked. Oh boy. Man. It seems like yesterday. Honestly I thought you were in Naples. No, it was my first time here. Oh, you miss me. Yeah. I can tell after seven years, you were like calling and writers, never heard a damn thing. But yeah, tell me about the podcast. You got to radio show on comedy central first of all, how did you start in comedy? And then tell me about that are starting comedy from afr- ultimately those big fan of a growing up, huge fan of it. But new all the even the guys who were. I guess, lower level, but that would still be on TV showcase shows and everything. 'cause you follow it fought it a lot and see. I knew nothing about comedy. Oh, really nothing. I've got the business. I didn't know five names. I till I knew I was so such a student of it. And then a friend of mine when I was nineteen working at a seven eleven going to community college had dinner with me. And she said that she was so disappointed in my life shorts and nineteen which should I be doing? She's like I always thought you were so funny. I thought you would try comedy and then serendipitous leave the next day, my friend, asked me if I would go with him downtown Philly to south street to buy sneakers while I was waiting for him. I remember looking across the street and seeing there was a laugh house comedy club, which I never noticed in all my years of going down that area before. Yeah, just never, I never even thought I guess of it, and also I was too young to go. Yeah. So I never really thought of it. Of going to a comedy club. And then, so by the for the first time I walked into one it was to do open mic. I asked about when they had open mic. They told me was Thursdays, and then I went back for Thursday's in a row and chicken down from going on. I don't blame you buy the fourth time on chicken out, they called my name the before they come to me and say, you're next, but I would go I go, I'm going to go on, and I would say before that, that was going to go on, and the, the fourth Thermo stage. The host called me to the stage on stage. Big Jay or J Hooker Susan, I said from the audience. I went no, no, no, no, no. He's come all get up here in Maryland. Out on either chickening, nobody. Yeah. And the next week I brought I kept upbringing friends cut. I wanted to see me bomb. Right. And then the next week, I brought friends those if they all pay their five dollars to go to this, then I'll have to go you have material written already. So you had jokes rate horrible jokes for you. Written down the list, it have a now because you do such a busy crowd work in you like shows that never say, do you actually right now? Or do you know I never wrote it down? I. Work with the crowd to kind of come up with things or have ideas during the day. I just take him to stages ideas and kind of iron them out, and then find the funny right there. I trust myself to be funnier on the KOMO ever stuff down. I tend to just be. Lazier for big sense. So if I'm writing something down. I think I just go for the obvious easy joke where I think, if I work on the fly, I challenge myself, the more, I think liquor. I think it's really fun wash. Everything you could see sit down and watch everyone of your shows because they're all different. So that's always fun for, for club or even the staff. Because when they get to a show like the first days grade, the second day's great. But if it's the same show every time the staff for me it's better because they sell more. Would you come? It's great because the whole place has the watch. I'm like, David can you sell some grease and food watch this show? It is funny that is and the staff is funny. You say that the staff is the reason before it was on the road a bunch. I was kind of like milling around the comedy clubs in New York for years before I can get like any kind of an audience that would like make me go on the road like a troll enough to get booked. Right. And while that was taking it's time I was working the clubs in New York regularly. They worked all the club's pretty much, but because those staff, I've watched them roll, their eyes comedians who they know their material and a mailing the work. In your grow. You kind of horned, your craft in New York. Right. And that's your those guys are like all the time. It's so funny. I feel like in New York. The comics are like hang out in the clubs all the time. Right. So you kind of a part of that scene, and that on the comics. It was great for learning experience, and everything. But being, but when you're performing on it seeing the staff, especially with the low turnover of the staffs in New York, you know, a lot of them are, like families that have been there forever and longtime employee. So I don't want anybody to roll their eyes at my jokes. So I started just taking those sets and using them as forum, full writing experiences, right? And I would just go up when he gave with the crowd and just stick around with the crowd as much as possible as way the crowd because what I was always impressed by seeing in the comedy clubs Dave attell Patrice O'Neal's guys that guys that cut like the staff see what the coolest thing. Exactly like you said the staff stopping right? What they're doing or, or rushing their everybody loves that everyone happy, except the owner. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And you had the owners of four. Damn Drake's, yeah. He's funny. He's still going to be funny tomorrow. Now going sell the traits, because this customer is not going to be sitting in tomorrow. But I think so much. Even being able to stay on the road all the years, that didn't have my own audience, yet, it was pretty cool to, to get the go back to these clubs based, I think soil off the staff and everyone enjoying it and being more have back here, take me back to like the first big day when you like oh my God, I'm kinda like I'm I made it we'll, how does that work. Was it when you get an agent or manager? Or when you what was it all of them of all them? You think like I've made it my first manager sure you're like here I am showbiz a gal unfold in front of me in hell. I'd say the biggest career like shift for me was alternately getting a good agent. Yeah. Just an Ed brook is. And management, also gave Kim witch and the C H siege entertainment. They both those people. Jumped in with me at a time where I couldn't, you know, I, I was making cold calls that point agencies and managers go, please. Somebody helped me like I'm just kind of fledgling. You know get the festivals all kind of get the, the industry standard stuff. But I wasn't getting the big clubs level. I was saying money wasn't making any kind of, like, you know, significant right. But cash at all it was just it was such a grind in such a hustle, getting that agent manager. We just jumped in and let's figure something out together, and then also. I mean, a real turnaround in my career, you know, getting the David tell me on the road for eight years. With him everywhere he went for so long and was so good to me, and the learn from somebody like that, and Patrice in order to get those kind of teachings was great. Because the best thing that you've learned the most memorable thing you learn from each one of those guys. I mean legends. Sure, did you know in the industry? Obviously, I mean from Patrice O'Neal. It was just like his complete disregard. Of like of laying the room dictate will you do. Do you know what I mean? Like owning it and kind of like turn it around as interesting thing to do you know, seeing somebody, I hope I employ this in some way because even last night at at off the hook. Joe was featuring they're hilarious. And anytime he went to a dirty territory funny. Joe really funny jokes. But the crowd was more like, and there is just some kind of thing that I was able to, like figure out over the years by observing these people, especially Patrice on something like that is to get them to kind of loosen up. I mean some energy you give it just gets them to like untangle and just go. Okay. And you see start seeing older. You know, Florida, people that I thought were going to be like, maybe walk out of the show, like just kind of pleasantly, enjoying even if it's not, you know, they're not niece, lepuc. They're like they're in they're not offended by it. And they're, they're having a good time. And then with a tail it was just the work ethic of just staying on the road and just grinding it out and doing it and he was always such a big lake help from also just financially. You know he just kept me alive. My guest today on the captain's log big j. O kosei. Could see off the hook comedy club to shows tonight Friday to show Saturday and guys you're gonna laugh you're gonna love him. Jay. How can they find you on social media with your Instagram? Big Jake Big Joe. Kherson. BMW. Say guys he's hysterical. Give a question for me before we wrap up the captain's log this, and I was like to say if you have one question you get out now or two or whatever you wanna do, but I'll be I'll answer for you from a club owners perspective or anything else that your of what was the most. Oh names. We know what I'll tell you. What we'll get everyone all excited on the podcast and telling us soon as you turn this off. I'm gonna ask you who your favorite person have showed up with question. I the least David person actually showed up at the club. I mean as far as the perform. Yeah, I've had a few. I'm about four or five it really went south quick. When we turn this off, I'm going to get some names. I've been able to. But it's interesting, you never know like honestly sometimes why to media make it such a hard battle between like a club owner and their performance. I don't know why they still show up, do their show and do their work and go home. But some guys honestly aren't happy and less is a like a serious, like Churchill. Yeah. Don't get that. I do find that interesting to just I've always nets very Dave attell going out on the road with him. Like I just try to leave my footprints just like funny. Yeah. I just don't really ask for too much. I'm very like I don't bother the staff much at all. I don't require budgets things. I don't bring it on. Toroshin. I just show up and tell jokes his you're good at it. My jokes bail. I don't abuse some. The reason why sometimes it doesn't work like that, as they can't show up and be that good at some of the jokes possible. I think that sometimes what it is. We're also generation of like the YouTube people and stuff that are kind of, you know, the Instagram celebrities kinda show up and right there drawing audiences, so they kind of have a very. Built did put a Bill to grab. I mean, also, they kind of come with, like fuck this, you know, it's more like everyone's here for me. Doesn't really matter where I do it, which makes them tend to be a little disrespectful. They've worked hard to build. I can understand audience. You know what I mean on your show up from the opening time they should've onstage right? People air. Well, how can they see your podcast with John couple to killer podcasts? SDR show in leisure skanks, both on guest. Joel network dot com. Newest eight episodes, always free. And if you if you subscribe, you get all kinds of awesome content, and archives, and the, an bonfire on Sirius XM satellite radio comedy, central ninety five and that is six PM APM live every Monday through Thursday. And then we'll Thursdays prerecorded so Monday Wednesday live Thursday prerecorded, and then and we run that all week long. And that's available on siriusxm awesome. Awesome. They should be in my guest today. Thank you for having me. Welcome to Florida list has some great shows the captain's log guys were out have a good day.

Patrice O'Neal New York David Florida Jay J. O kherson Naples Maryland Joe Dave attell siriusxm KOMO Kherson YouTube Philly Instagram BMW Kim witch Ed brook
#429 Anxiety Ridden Time Bomb of Self Loathing with Big Jay Oakerson

Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank

2:15:03 hr | 4 months ago

#429 Anxiety Ridden Time Bomb of Self Loathing with Big Jay Oakerson

"Weddings for you talking about something that smash into shape. A little bit is it. Lets you know very quickly. Your terrify quite the opposite of suicidal. You are nightmarishly of terrified of the so. I know when i feel that way. That it's like a just a fucking brain fart. That makes sense. So i can brace more episodes It's been a while whilst serious gentlemen on today's skeptic tank My buddy big j. o. Kherson comes on. There was a if you watch it on youtube. It's fucking kicking right now. There was a night. Jay and i were doing a bunch of drugs. What's your fun. Party drugs a male department and the roof to sorry to the fire escape. And you know how it is. When you're on fucking party drugs. I want my nose when i said that. But it's not that kind of drug md back and you get sherry. You get confided with your friends and we're on the fire escape. Jay was smoking and he started telling me something and he goes. Yeah i had an anxiety attack. Referencing something just kind of all the walls would come in. I never noticed do that before. He's really good at hiding. It you know and i just kind of listened to him. He wasn't like crying or anything like that. He was just remembering. It happened ten years earlier. Ten twelve years earlier. I was like i didn't know jay had anxiety like that and i thought i thought you know like i do i was. Maybe she'll podcasts about maybe it'd be open to talking about it. He seems like he'd been dealt with it to the point where he wasn't like going through it right then. I had this problem where it's like sometimes see somebody story. You know what. I do this podcast. If you add some story. I talked to about about some specific life experience. I could talk to you about then. I'd like to. I'd like to hear about it. But it wasn't going to but then the problem is if i talked to. My mom is a county talked about grief. Podcasts going to be that guy so but the like this already been like well well dealt with for a while so i was like i gotta get on a podcast but then shortly thereafter i went to into the summer came and i went to ecuador six months. I'm not gonna do this when over zoom back would you do. A podcast with me about About anxiety sorry from little skull fucking us like a superintendent's downstairs dungeon of of of of a building can wear place. There's really book men lived so we talked about it. I know something that's always interested. Me is is mental health. It's always gotten me. Even i think even before i had my depression. If you don't know i've talked about it a bunch. But like i was pretty depressed for a while clinically depressed. I don't know if i could say suicidal or not. But i man. I would think about suicide quite a lot. I wasn't not suicidal. For sure wasn't not suicidal. And everybody's going through it now with kobe with everything. Like what the fuck internet turning everybody fucking crazy everybody's kind of going through it and there's all these different types of mental disorder anxiety social social anxiety I know a guy that i'm happens. Pocket got a fear of flying. Suddenly he would drive all the way to the airport. Get out of his car and then loop go right back to his car. go home. couldn't fly just one days. Torn comedian fucked so life. What the fuck are going to do. Only book gigs. Within driving distance and anxiety depression is like the big one but they also overlap. Isn't it it's just it's like it's just a sprain of your brain it's all really is if the brain is a muscle right and you sprained something happened. You overloaded it or maybe on drugs baby on emotion whatever it is and even like the thing gets corrected. That makes you i. You're gonna forgive me. If i'm gonna use examples i've already used before. But let's say you're fucking you get fired from your job your boss fucking shitty. Do and some other guy undercuts you and takes your promotion and then it's like fuck you. What and then you're getting five shortly after and then you get a depression because it's horrible depression and you can't shake it. You can't read but then eventually you an trying to you got to get a new job right so you apply for a job and you get a job and it's a better job a more rewarding job and it's an pays more and cooler people work there so it's like a far better job but the depression doesn't go away because he sprained it. It's why sprained my ankle running. I was zigzagging or i tried to dunk in my fucking leg turned to jelly. He wasn't even jumping. It wasn't like sewer. Talking about work wasn't like he jumped up. And on the way down fell he was just like about to jump and then it was like a witch cursed his leg and just turned into jelly and she could turn to jelly now damn yankees remember that so the guy made a deal with the devil and rounding third double ended and then he was like just a regular guy around and third but i mean he he would have been a state by a mile but now he's like fat guy and i don't know what happened but cigarettes roz asiago is lead. Like if you leave if you leave a bag of gummy bears in the front seat while you're shopping and the heat though sun is hitting it comes back. It's like it's all one big blob and not even hardened up yet. It's still like it kind of gore's legs is bones turned up so Oh so you sprain your leg race bring your leg trying to break every bone. You're but then you're like well. I'll stop now. Stop the running of stop trying to dunk but legs still sprained. A new black. Should go easy on it. It's like now you've got to put cast and some things that for the brain. Some casts are drugs. Prescription drugs zoloft to take. I took so many wellbutrin which one do bre take and which one the stop taking fucking do it on bremmer on so also the okay. I'm telling you guys you're gonna listen to jay and you're going to hear him big j. o. Kherson big jason dot com. Follow him. big. Joe kherson on instagram and twitter What are the best. Comedians around best riffing comedian around great storyteller. Check out. his degenerates said on netflix. He's fucking great. All his is not happening. Stories is one of the top guys. Go to youtube or any of his is not happening stories. Check the fight in front of the seller that one or a him and louis looking dave watching louis Have three with a dog Where was i going to say about. Oh so we're gonna talk about you're gonna hear a guy that's it who is recovered haven't smoked pot all day who's recovered. He's still has the thing so he still takes the drugs but he's not struggling right now and he took the drugs that were prescribed to him and that helped him so. If you're having trouble out there. I don't want you to feel stigma for drugs. They fucking help however it is difficult until you find the right one the wellbutrin. I think it was well beauty and maybe not be able to come and if you know anything about me if you know anything about you should fear. He loves to come. He sure does he loves to come out of my dick. Didn't even know that was a side effect. I tell fucking talking to a girlfriend at the time and you know i just gave up you ever do that. Like ain't gonna happen today for me. Let the girl have one. Excuse me that's for you guys. Let the girl how the normal seven at always gives them do this fuck in february two thousand eight. This is the fuck and super bowl champs from the new york daily news. Wow this guy fuck it clearly. A giants fan has hung up. I doubt he's even looked at it anymore. Couldn't come and she was like the depression medication iran she got through with me. Jesus to ashley. I'm sorry you were great. Great with me. I mean i was just like so depressed all the time. She was just like i don. I just want you to feel better. And when i did even after we broke up now because of that because i can't keep this in my pants she i m happy that you're not feeling that way anymore. Who's terrible overwhelming would just so wore you down after a while just depre- progifter feel like blah. But now imagine you're doing that two days in a row and then eight days in a row and then thirty days in a row and then for six months you just feel blah and you just wanted to stop you just want the game to be over. Fuck anyway cups. Maybe it's a medication like no. I didn't know that we read the box sexual side effects so i was like i told my therapist. Oh she was so bad to true so bad. It's one of those ones. The screen actors guild. Got for you hoo so bad. She wasn't good. I tried a couple medications and liz literally. What she said she goes. Well i don't know to tell you like and i was like okay. Yeah sure. I don't mean to bother you. I'll give up give up. Sure i'll just work up the courage to fucking to kill myself. you know. i'll i'll work up the courage. I'll get there eventually i. I didn't tell her that it was just like he would just like. You're done with somebody so she's like i'll tell you we tried. Three different drugs was a student at reed. Well actually sad on break for it. It's better help. I'll do in a second better. Help us a therapy On therapy it's great okay. my friend. who's going through. I don't know what something we'll do it in a minute. But i was willing to give up if she was then i was like. I'm going to kill myself. I just gotta work up the courage. They say it's a coward's way act. You're fucking nuts coward's way out. It's gotta have bravery to do that to feel like that's it i'm done and just but the thing is it's it wears on you so much this depression that you just want to sleep at night theo. Von had a good joke. Way back when you want to go to you know that deep sleep. You've wanted that. Whoever want that deep sleep it's like yeah man. I know what you're talking about. I related but then joe rogan. Got me a fuck in high priced real therapist hundred eighty bucks for half hour psychologist one of those. Hickory scribe drugs. We we worked around different drugs and Remm ron was one of the retried the side effects so the side effect of the fuck. No sex or no coming i was like. Hey one wasn't even working so you have to go for you can find out if it's working and the therapy wasn't really helping that. Actually a couple of things in the therapy did hope one guy that sag stop paying force. I couldn't keep going. He said He was talking genius. He goes tell me some good stuff to come out of the depression. Good stuff at depression. Who said yeah. Tell me something good. That came out of the depression when i was like well. I have a far more realistic way of looking at the world news. Wise that good for my my career my profession. that's actually comes quite handy. I can. I can break it down on a way. That's helpful to Mining for what the funny parts are so Yeah what else was good. He said there was something else. I realized that time was good. I don't remember but he would help me through it with some therapy but the drugs would eventually needed me personally. Not everybody does me personally. I did wasn't my decision. It was like that therapy wasn't helping alone Marrone so this will be your didn't even work and i couldn't come so whatever i'd much box for hours. But the the side. Effect of rembrandt murad was hyper faiza. High tariff asia. Here's a hyper. Phasers gives the inability to feel full. You can't feel full. Eat neat neat and not feel full. And i'm telling you it was epic. He was like you. Would you can expect from this side effects. The good therapist that rogin got me. He didn't give me the wellbutrin he would have worn me. He would've might be a side effect. He wouldn't have just let it go. So i'm reading. Ron it goes. You can expect to gain about fifteen percent body weight. Listen i was in pretty good shape at the time not muscular but then so i was like all right. I'll just be like normal weight. I'll be just a little overweight. That's fine if i can get rid of this feeling that's fine and I was like yeah. Whatever i'll i'll try but you couldn't stop eating especially that i was getting high and it was early when i was getting high too. So that's when you really get the munchies. Not when you're a pro. After a while i ate one point. Eight plates of spaghetti. Do it was epic. Everything in my house i was eating like Like a bagel no eggs together combinations eggs and honey nut cheerios. Just like throwing whatever. I had left frat candy of course. Gummy bears. course. Hymie throwing everything in i tell myself i do reason with myself dude. Seven plates of spaghetti is. I didn't need. I made eight. And then i put one back. I hope i was like seven. Plates of spaghetti is enough. This must be the hyper of fucking with you. Your body has enough nutrients it. You should just stop eating even if you're not feeling full. That's snack was good. Oh wow it was such epic meals. I wish i could have that again. Just so i could fucking get down. You know what he's doing rome. They'd have vomiting where you really part for like a week straight fucking hookers eating fucking more hookers eating more drinking some wine and then you're like i can't eat anymore but like more foods coming out about the nachos fucking nachos. I have no room or go next door to the vomit. They had a room right next to the bathroom. And you go in there. I are up and just vomit. Upson space is still nachos left always puking rally. The original puka rally. Romans admitted that you know that. You can go and israel when rome took over israel for a while you can go visit an old rome inventory. That's where i saw it. And then they have belly dancers to was pretty fucking sick night man. I could just eat and eat. But in the end it wasn't even working didn't stick side effects right away but after a few weeks realize hey. I'm not not feeling depressed until we got one. Nope i'm wrong. It wasn't that wasn't a drug that got me. Marrone was the one i fuck. It ended up on around was the one that worked. What was the one that gave me hyper faiza to so so many different ones. The way i believe the way it works is you rather have too much serotonin too little serotonin too much nor pernet friend. I might be wrong right or too little northern and so there's different drugs that attack each of those four things and they don't know which one it is. The didn't when i was depressed. There's no way to test for it. So you just have to like throw drugs at each one and ramon was in one thousand nine hundred drug and went out of style because the side effects. Were you get lightheaded. i dealt with in high school do my growth spurt stand up like oh shit fucking get and then have to take a knee so i was like. Yeah i can deal with and for sure. Did make me lightheaded. I'd get out of the car. Stand up. I have to hold onto the so sorry just like legit take knee or i'd pass out that with weed. I fully passed outlines actually running back and get enough from playing online poker. Some and then like getting lighter lighter lightheaded and like oh my god and then i had fuck it take it fucking run to the to the bed around the corner to the bathroom as their bathrooms here and bed. Was there if you watch it on youtube. Please subscribe hit. Ring the bell. I'll tell you what that means another time but yeah hit subscribe do me a favor and that sars pin here and then it took two steps and then woke up on the floor of my glasses. Broken didn't make it rimirad. And i was on it for a while. I was over the idea that i wouldn't feel shitty because once it went away. Once a depression went away. I felt like myself again. I felt like myself again and some weird happened. I missed it. It became identity. And so then you took it away from me like well. That's my new identity. I'm depressed like who am. I even like when the hiccups are gone. Just for that first minute. You feel uncomfortable now. Imagine if you're here for six months. So but i was better was better and if you guys are out there. I'm going to say this. You should get better. So the sponsor i told you how i deal with sponsors. I i don't think they do a good job. I'm out there. This is a good sponsor. Better help better help. Dot com slash. You get ten percent off your first first month. But it's way affordable accessible therapy so my my buddies on it she said it's easy to sign up they match you with. If you don't like him you can move on. She gotta someone who specializes in military people should based in texas. And she's like. I really like her helps. Her one thing you can do with better help is you can message them. Also start a little. Like it's not quite google sheep but it's like a sheet so if you're like hey i thought it's something you don't to save it all for therapy. You've been to therapy. You don't have to save it all right down and you just like enter into the thing. Throw it up there into the cloud or whatever. Do your better help account and then you say like hey. Sometimes when my mom calls i start to hyperventilate. Let's just say that you don't have to remember that thought up there and it's there or if you're going through something you can message them soon as they see that message respond to you. It's pretty fucking pretty fucking great. It's pretty fucking great. And you get ten percents off your order. If go to better help dot com slash or if you slash ari. I want this to be a sponsor for me forever. I wanna fuck it up. But also i'm not gonna fuck with it. It's it's a fucking good sponsor because you got. I think anyone's going through shit up. I'm telling you look at me. It'll help you if you can't afford therapy. Which a lot of people can't it's financially restrictive. This is real therapists and they match you up with them in all their at their. They're helping the community. They're given back by doing it. That are making their full rights. But they're willing to because they care about people and so she's able to messager Message back she's able to enter stuff into the fuckin- into the sheet and the chicken check on it later. Better help dot com slash ari. Go there right now. If you haven't approach clock this off shut this pocket out and go there right now. Temps off the first month. But don't even let that be the restrictive part. It's pretty fucking cheap. Sixty eighty bucks a week. Something like that and you can cancel anytime too by the way is often memory. I'm finding remembering fucking attitude is. Just i just remember the points that i wish would have been around when i was going through that shit. My god. It would see me so much. Fuck oh i just wasted so much. Couldn't get bad anyway. Jay's got separate thing she's got zayed's didn't know much about about it he's telling you guys about this is a fun one his going to be a really not a fun with saw an interesting one. That's where i met. He brought me through his exile in a really. It really is instructive on wide. Jay is the way he is it really. Is i afterwards like a day later. I'm like hey man. I knew you had anxiety by all that other going nuts over there but it makes sense now. He's done this or that and his life 'cause he's dealt with that fucking self loathing shit so here that cheering so i'm going to keep talking. I'm going to check it out. Who's on onstage. But it was interesting to find that out about my friend. Let me see who. This is still say So that i got loss. I never found the recording again. What if that happened. Hello let me with dates back on tour. Oh my god these tour names have been fucking abbott. I would say do not let go of. Maybe my favorite name of a tour the wrong side of history tour. If you're making a photoshop think about the wrong side of history tour. I feel like that hasn't been fleshed out enough. Also can't use the word hike anymore. Photoshop's no racial slurs. Instagram has already told me so. If you don't know if this person i'd say my tour. I was like i'm going back on tour coming up is baltimore providence. Long island Pittsburgh with big. J. joe in pittsburgh in august and and Miami In october first two days of october and last day of september september thirty th october first and second and then pittsburgh is like. I don't know august twenty fifth twenty nine something like that but i've got if you're context but i just said i don't have any choice you guys can or whatever i throw some suggestions and the internet has responded like fucking counts. Oh my god are. The the hull costs four ari our dogs. Burt fox them tour. The writing joe rogan's coat-tails tour the ha maas tour the heinous heinous tour other. So many and i'm just skipping austin on purpose to one of my favorites was black. Wives fatter tour. Where did you see her at that. Fucking award ceremony wasn't an award. No it wasn't award. I mean no new impress. Fat buster douglas out but anyway. Some of these make me cringe. So if you've got a tornado fucking tag me on on instagram. Or dm and colleague over all of them and sees the decent ones sends them all to me and then we'd just put him up. We put up the good wants. And we're gonna go. But i would say don't be afraid of taking someone else's name and putting a spin on it also don't be afraid of making one first pacific weekend like liked our ian j in pittsburgh you know. Have something horrible for that all sorts of those things. Somebody may what so. I'm in nashville on september eleventh. That's one of the nights and so somebody made up. Huck in our revisits national. The plane going into the tower. But anyway you can't use kaik can't use wetback you can't i instagram already. Told me like we're taking that down if keep fucking with it. You're i'm like all right fair enough. I'm like but it's like nuances. I'm jewish like dude. Stop no kaik. We know that line. That's a no no word so anyway give me some slack on that at least but whatever tore you want so a baltimore providence. Long island levittown. Long island. Spokane tacoma in september Tampa orlando in november brick. Town comedy club in in oklahoma city in december san antonio december cleveland in january Denver's being finished now february. But yeah whatever. I'm i'm excited. I've talked to work super god. Damn hard to get my goddamn comedy. Act back again. Also got a new fucking shirt. This guy. nick dis major. Fuck it sweet shirt. Put it up. If i have time fucking i'll tell you what if i have time i'll cut to a fucking fake commercial for this goddamn T shirt that have for sale right now. Go to argue dot com. Our podcast march dot com. And you can get it all. I'll put a link out for it on check my instagram otherwise go to rhp dot com or whatever who is one of my twitter account now kyla twitter but if i have a commercial let's go to the commercial right now. Hi everybody my new t-shirts here. It's me as a caterpillar from alice in wonderland here. It is my favorite color black. Isn't it cool and just like well. Unlike my t shirt it's not available on double extra triple extra large. Because i don't like fat people wins about big j. o. Kherson this episode. And if you would ask me. Six months ago i was friends. Big joe kherson. Well i'd say a resounding yes but today that answer is also fucking yes. What are you talking about. Of course i'm jay. Nothing has changed that relationship and big jay. a double a triple extra large. So making this in double a triple. Actually it's available in black white and for the next two days only limited time a very very cool color tie podcast. Merch dot com slash collections slash. Ari dash chevallier great job. Louis that's great fucking hashtag. Pass mercy slash ari shapiro has we podcast immersion slash don't slash collections slash ari. Dasha fear. Anyway if you go there right now you can get it only until the end of june. You're gonna order it and tie to build. One tanked up and t shirt all sorts of sizes but back to black my favorite color design. It's fucking coolest shit. It's me as a caterpillar in wonderland. Thank you nick. These comedy for the fucking sweet ass design and now it's coming to you. Get it in time for all your favorite psychedelic holidays. That's right. It's a new archbishop. Your shirt seeing tour and hope you're wearing there now back to the episode cut out. I hope you cut out. Otherwise it's gonna leave me standing here like fucking asshole with no shirt on in the middle of the fucking park with homeless people literally right there and right there. We're back or i never laughed. One of those two twenty nine twelve. I don't think i've anything announce having a great time. Are you should fear and friends work off the rest of the stand. Every tuesday has been now changed to orange fear in france. Last week was fucking sick week. Sal christie and forgetting something roy would what a fucking great lineup. So it's surprise line of every week you can come back because i'm mostly doing fucking working on my crowd working fucking having fun with the crowd. Yeah i've got it's back now so come on out bolaise this episode me and big jay and we're talking about his anxiety and it was interesting. It's interesting it's not as funny as j usually is but that is by design and arshi i kevin thank episode. Four twenty nine. I believe zaidi written time bomb self loathing. The big up the part again. I could definitely do a thing where i could do. I mean i do. i go. Crowd works so much. But i mean just the tonight. That's thank you. That's that's a. That's much easier for me to go construct ten minutes like for next monday like stress over it. All those guys do roasts. And those like. I've gotta run this mike. Yeah you got to run it. You just wrote a joke. You don't know how it's going to be from scratch about shit. You don't care about two and i've never seen them big j rose i did mine and Voices and we rose battled. I mean you spend forget that because of the pocket. Rubbing utah fucking. Smersh wasn't even a dry. I think it was around the one on one one. But i think I think jeff was trying to keep it alive. The the king of like one more round like why the now i i had no writing no writers. I just did it myself. All neal was what i was going. When i was go into a i was doing. That was the hall rehearsals still the same time. My days were just like Loaded up and he was really awesome. I'll do it. You know like you really to have time though. Yeah you got you got fucking you gotta have it. That's legitimately. I think what made skiing elections one of the biggest and best comedy things of all time really is because we all had. That was my only creative thing. Yeah do it all. We got to put it all into that. Yeah yeah and it was like. Let's i was like daytime working at like calling setting up a trails just like it's a nonstop process. Could do along the roses. Slow going on the double. The double double cross of joe. The rosa joe is like this. A double cross of lewis. Mike dude poor guy. Even you felt bad about it as it was happening. He can't help. But you're like. I gotta do it but this is gonna suck frenzy as i hate to see like this but the audience get to him too much. Yeah yeah so. I wanna talk about this anxiety stuff but we were. I didn't even know you went through it. Until who do molly over my place and you mentioned on the fire escape place of like attacks and stuff. Oh yeah it was brutal and a real not these asian hate attacks like a real attack metro tech a mental attack. My body had asian. Hate against myself my brain. When was this two thousand ten. Is it anxiety. Was that what you would call it. Yes two thousand ten two thousand ten simpler time. Obama was in office similar tiresome. And i was smoking weed in the way my apartment was set up with a house. Technically to floors. Yeah in queens and we had a a balcony whatever the top of the garage basically outside of our kitchen sliding doors. Yeah and so my thing at night the garage. Alka yeah the porch was on top of the garage and that was right off of our kitchen and so with as nice big balcony but my thing at night would be this. Is i think it will i wanna say it was a laptop put. It may have actually been a computer with a monitor at the time. But i used to just sit there at night and like when everybody would go upstairs a bet i would watch hulu. It may have been when i was watching every watch all twenty one jump street. Believe it or not. That's okay at that because it was on hulu at the time and I was just home. Hey out and like dave smith was overlap. But he wasn't over this night and he saw this at this desk in the kitchen. And i could be smoke like a cigarettes like standing by it and i could smoke weed just sitting by it sitting by what just say that sliding glass door and watch whatever on hulu or on computer. Yeah and i just like in the middle of smokes like taking one hit and all of a sudden being like hug. My right arm numb no. Yeah and i was like where my hands almost sales just like you said feeling it was like pins and needles. Then my other arm. Start to feel that i was like and then just looks like sweating and just getting like nervous heart attack. Yeah but i. I don't even think. I was having a hard i did you did and then i would just like something's wrong. Yeah just like something. Because i was any things at all. My limbs were getting like numb and tinguely worried. Super super worried and i went like Outside and got some hair for a minute and then i went upstairs. And i told carla my ex. I was like i'm feeling something's wrong like i don't feel right and i think that's going to go to bed on the phone with her cousin or something. In our bedroom we'd better with diamond. I need to lay down and go to sleep and tried to go to sleep and it was late so wasn't crazy but it's early for me and i was again. Let me just getting bed. Washington fall asleep. So i went to sleep that night and woke up the next day. Feeling exactly the same no way but nothing was different tingling. Yeah i just think more than the tingling just an overall sense of like nervous and for nothing there was no thing which is like my body was like quivering inside. And then i did start to think. It was like hearts accident that night. Second night i went to the hospital. Was something happened and they look you up to the ekg machine. They tell you they can tell you on that. Apparently if you had a heart even like event in the past like days heart attack but or or yours. Like a murmur. I think we'll tell you through any kind of activity. Irregular with your heart in there like nothing so they sent me home and then i just felt like that. They didn't tell you what it was. They just they didn't know nothing's wrong. Yeah they didn't suggest anything like mental. And then i went home and i just started like it was just a thing i was experiencing and then like i went to the mall with dave smith one day and we had to leave. I remember going to dinner with a carlin isabella. My daughter for a somewhere by our house like we had to leave. 'cause i just went outside and i was like almost like tear. It was pizarro. And what really sucked was knowing the whole time that it's bizarre. Do you know what my mind didn't have like. It wasn't that kind of crack or i was like governments coming to. There's nothing other than i was going. I'm having physical reactions. And knowing like i believe they say there's nothing wrong but then what is it like what's happening. Why do i feel like this. And i went to the hospital probably four more times that month and they were like like nothing's wrong with you and then find the last one was. I think he talked to us a doctor. You said it's a regular dot finally a emergency room or urgent care. Place was like you have to go see like a mental like doctor for your brain. This is like a mental thing. I was like i didn't even think about that and then i i went in. I was like why. Would it be a mental thing. And i wanted to say how what kind of like got me on track was okay go ahead go back and say like why it makes sense. Yeah so i'm like does it make sense at all. You know mental thing. So i looked in gave me a advent Drug i i took that and it made me feel significantly worse outta van. Yup just took it work for anxiety. Yeah but it's more like anna's a drug. I think i want to speak at a school in this. But i think it's like a xanax. Where it it's a band aid. Do i mean it's like it'll help you calm down right then but it's nothing long-term okay and it didn't work for me. That made it like a family. Feel way you know something else okay. And then I talked to justin silver. Who takes like psych meds and stuff and derosa and both of them said zoloft. And i was gonna to try to get that from a doctor. Yeah and then. My mom else's wreck my mom. Well here's the thing. When justin joe were describing wasn't what i was going through. What do they have depression or whatever. Yeah joe's exciting depression. I guess but like either way just manifest in different ways so what makes the drug they were saying wasn't really resonating with me. Because i was like i don't really have the i wanna hear somebody telling me what they're on. That has what i have going on. Okay because i have to stop in the middle of everything and like lay on a couch or sit down and like you know a cover my eyes cause like having slow moving crazy and foggy vision and light sensitivity and all this shit show and Yeah it was. It was fucking bizarre. Eqe talking to my mom's friend. My mom's like i have a friend who went through something like this and listen to her and she told me her thing about like humiliatingly being in public elliott convention for work even and she had to lay down the floor because she knew when she would get these sing. It would come on like with for me. We come on out of everything would go numb and it would get. I'd get like weird feeling. Chivalry not chevy blake jittery. And she was like yeah. When i feel that coming i knew i was going to pass out for like ten seconds. So she's on the floor and tell me where. I'm sorry guys. I'm going to pass out real quick. It might as well planking. She's just don't pay any. I don't worry about her. She does this and she said lexie pro save their life so i just did lexa pro. I gave it the three weeks. I i left on tour to open for corn orange small venue tour and i was and like the second week i was on that tour like i just woke up and i was like oh i realized it was like three pm. And i was like. Oh i haven't had like a like shaky nervous like fucking thing today at all. It's weird and then like it just kicked in kicked in yet you to level and i was like yeah as holy shit. I'm like it's just like well. It works you. Know what i mean like like i feel much better i was able to handle it the rest of the way and then i've taken myself over the years stupidly and like for for year i'll be fine and then like us. You know the last time. I was off. Sort of right before quarantined. Yeah and then like the very early in quarantine. I was like. Yeah i gotta like gotta get it back on. Yeah my especially during that. Yeah i'll leave. It was what brings it on. Nothing in particular just chemical imbalance. I think and but okay. Okay okay. I'm trying to so so here's what else. You're a chemical imbalance but caused by when things. I think it's a caused by your activity. A you're like what you build yourself because i asked therapists that i went to then for only a couple of sessions sector. Steve brill steve bruno. I went to alan the guy that everybody goes to problem with allen. Is that like everybody goes to them. Zoom and you can hear like like who who are rachel. Feinstein screaming go. Hey exactly yeah bobby. Kelly walks out. While you're walking your weird. I love myself. Okay all right all right just coming out because we can actually cry that session. When i saw bobby kelly come out and i made the joke. I was like bob. Kelly cry faster than i did and he was like. I don't talk about other patients on my. We all know each other a weird. We're going to talk to weird. It's a weird thing to focus your practice saw. It is getting everyone who knows each other's test to see if you're like well. I ask them because i won't tell rogan's manager. Sometimes i'm mike. Hey how much do you make that gag or whatever and she goes i. I can't tell you are literally gonna make me go. Ask you know he tells me. Whenever i ask right then yes do that. Yeah yeah go ahead So when i look back on it though like what like why did they just come out of nowhere. And i asked that therapists out and he did say that i was like hey. Is it possible. In the first time. I was like what happened that night. Smoking weed then my kitchen. Let's just we would have happier life. So what i'm saying. I and i said. I thought i smoke too much weed for the first time and then it just set this like it just changed my life. After that night everything was different. Is it possible if it's mental that one day out of the blue. You could just crack. That's what they always say with drugs. Right you're gonna stick that way one day you're just going to stick the way shrooms acid. We sure you're not you're gonna go up and stick. That's the rumor sure and And he goes. Yeah absolutely and then just in one thing. What's going on in your life. And i just was telling him very casually i mike look i mean you know life stuff and they start explaining it. I'm like okay so we have in this moment. This is happening one a Our landlords came to us. They didn't speak english. Yeah barely spoke. english The one daughter did and she was our conduit like to them right but they the parents were the ones who owned the place and they came one day just sent it. They sent a letter. That was like thank you for being good You know residents but you know we're gonna job by the end of the month. It was at the end of our lease. But we've sooners going to sign a lease parenting time. We had no problems. What was we had a good price in this place. And they knew they can get more so they just they can't raise our rent thousand bucks so like they're gonna get us out so we knew we fucked me know. We moved there so we were like. Wow this is the chance to take. I guess it's their place very rational. Where like but we should go. Let's go back to them and see if we can get to the summer few months. Yeah so we can get isabel through the school year so we don't have to move her school in the middle of the year. Something just like a ordeal were broke. You know what. I don't have a lot of money so we're like we you know. Hopefully we do this and then So we will back. Can we have that time and they. It's new york there and gracious think right And they said we were good tenants and then they come back and the next thing was just a serving of court papers for fiction so maybe get a lawyer. Here's the thing though. We're in a weird. I in a weird way like it ended up being better because then we didn't pay rent for six months. We lived there for free. We won the court case. Because and they're the ones tell you don't go. Don't pay rent while we're going through this thing and the the lawyer was like i don't know why this is crazy of them like they're going to lose this hands down. They can't do that. You don't even argue with them like you were just like you ask the question. They evicted you. So you're gonna live here for a couple of months for free like five months. Maybe thanks but within that there was so much animosity from them starting to understand what's happening. Why they were weird and dominant handled this way that it got physical. I mean like the old asian. The old chinese lady. Bit carla bit her they ripped sheridan mind like off like a physically with nape are gatti's wife and me like they got a physical thing with us. Cops called more than once and it was wild. That's going on. I get these tours. I found i'm going on these tours with corn which is great news to back to back tours. One green grabs carla. It'll be out front of the place. We're coming up with groceries and stuff and they start fights and film us just doing nothing like living life. Where's this long island queens middle village queens so more that that was volatile What were their. Charlie's chinese aggressively chinese recipe chinese. Yeah tough chinese. So they were coming at us. Stop asian. Hey you like you came so it was volatile. Yeah that was going on. I'm leaving for touring while it was great news to me that i was like Doing is almost ideal two. I'm doing this. Like thousand seat or so venues with corn yes four. Four thousands of biggest. But someone thousand people. And i do these i get. I get to work out on that. Which is good right before. Three weeks after that towards overall. Go on the mayhem festival amphitheatres. I'll be a little more comfortable. That can be working better So that's not bad news. That's good news going on and I had a girl. I was hooking up with for a while on the side i liked per. You know what. I mean like you know. Then there's the underlying thing of like shit here. I go again like this. Like leave my ex wife for her or should not do that and it's still like a bad situation like i like this girl but like you know i have this responsibility to home. We have a daughter. And if i leave like can afford to do that. So it's like now. I'm going to stay here. And the the acura getting wound up Xerox yeah your first. Pick a few months ago. We did two seasons and they were good. Gradings were good and everything was like good. Like of course. We'll come back for season. Three production and network nothing to do. It rained production network. Have major fight. They cancelled his show. The cancels iraq and at the time i was like i'm not an actor and it's not my goal to be in sitcoms and i didn't there's plenty of it i loved doing so you're right the experience but there was also on a daily basis at zero. Ifc was also being there five in the morning and not the way. I just don't work. I don't like the process. It's work so it was like. Oh well i don't have to deal with that anymore. Where i'm trying to do comedy till two in the morning every night. Someone's gotta be onset at five. Am because i was afraid of losing my standup spot Spots so i would push myself. But here's what is going on internal putting all that outside. Here's what's going on really. There's no way too bright side five even though we're living for free month to month you can't kicked out we're getting kicked out and we're and every time we come home there could be a fucking major thing. I'm i'm going on tour with these bands to me i. I know it's not unprecedented. Other people have done it. It's no breaking. I was like then. I started goes like oh my god like what if they just. What if i just fail at the job and they send me home early. They go is is a bad idea to have a comic duo metal. And you're a big fan. I was going to be embarrassing. Suck and then. I'm that if word gets back from that maybe put me on that next tour even though it's not the same people you know it's still. Ads is not doing the job right. So there's pressure also the doctor the corn fans cops cops colonels and colonels. That'd be way better but they Excited for these tours. And he's he's talking about. I'm gonna. I hope like i thought like my nervous stuff about it. He goes yeah he goes. You tire your word. You're going to be alone alone for like three months. Basically everyone else's in bands and crew. That knows each other. You're showing up with a suitcase. Like hey everyone. I'm the new guy no manager. No friends no whatever getting alone but you don't even playing with anybody. No i gotta go out there and hope that the state i don't know if the crew was excited or thinks is a stupid it is so weird. Have stand up before music. Weird what you know but you met those guys how great they are not like the could have been with a better set of guys mentioned since those guys were just right away like you're our friend and hang with us. They opened also that was their tori. The first thing was with them. You them corn. It'd be it'd be me introducing a local opener always and then me. While they set ups two cents and two cents would go and then me for a few minutes more than corn is getting ready the corn so like so two cents guys who really cool. They're great. Yeah so like they By was before that. Before i left a knew that i was like so i was going this adventure comedy being away like i don't know what if i fucking shit on this and i don't even have to hang with really at first There was that going on. You know as a a aside girlfriend said that. I am stressing like This isn't just a girl. make fucking like. She's pretty cool shit together. Yeah and i was like in a perfect world. Like wouldn't be an issue where i'd even worry about. You know what i mean. But i was like i can't just young still and i'm just not making enough money where i feel like i can go and be like good present father at all like a and i was very worried about being like my dad was just kinda like deadbeat when i was young within show up early much so like. I don't want to be like this so i just stuck it out so i stopped seeing that saying what i stopped seeing that you really would you send right before i started feeling really really terrible right before so so now you have anxiousness about like did i fuck over a good thing. Wow the whole It was i think she was even an ultimatum. Point also and i was like i pushed her off a bunch and then it was just like when it got down to like a real like. Hey i doubt if you're not going to change like your situation getting ireland hasn't always had to be like. Yeah i can't like. I can't say i can't like jane up. Heave everything that house for this. You know what i mean. Also i y the way out. I was like she's a square. And i mean patrice used to use that term like she was a square in the sense of Civility nine to five encore great job but north korea but she was like a person who like eventually my gone on the weekends. My gone when she's home from work. It's good boy. Yeah oh yeah. It's like this guy is not present. You know what i mean like. Actually she was so. I looked at my head i go. This isn't gonna work out eventually. Yeah even though it's great and fun and everything you're doing well like we're talking about that guy who would like a like it's not going well and eventually the website. Can you get a job job. Yeah yeah yeah dreaming happening dude. Yeah yeah exactly. So i was like i was just like i'm just not i couldn't do it so i didn't but like you know there's like that like once those things would happen like that stuff like that happened several times. That was like the girl at the time that i never liked the most. I mean Up until that point. That i was like. Oh this is like a real like before that it'd be like fucking chick or something for the girl i was like. Oh this is like. I like this is like this is like an adult woman. Who's like very attractive and like also like shit together. But i was like i like her. Having her shit together is what's going to make her not like eventually. And i was like so this is like i was like it's bad so i was all as all these at once and it's just like but that's the whole thing weirdly enough had a real wacky thing years before aggressors lying but a girl called me the with an alaska and was like She was like and like she was lying. It was a weird fucking thing to do. We once you know what i mean like you said she was pregnant and i just kind of took it very like. I think it was a pretty new in the cellar. Something even and i was like a call you back a little bit and i called her make was air. I remember that. And i told him i go. She's lying. she's becky on that is how do you know you use a condom foremost and it was just like it was just like a. I don't know where she probably will get. Unhinged girl do mean. He's probably mental mental problems with the do that you've got to be pretty wacky with that sex. Actually you know that also but no. It's a fake. Y'all say i'm pregnant when you're not by my ex girlfriend with for years. Did that work for seasonably either. Really yeah but she had to get an implant shirt and the boyfriend just didn't know they just skipped over that my long-term ex girlfriend before my ex wife Did that when we broke up and she broke up with me when she heard i was dating someone else karla miami wife when she was dating her like came and said that was. It has something to get you talking. What are you when you get to old on that going to get you just like let me deal with the emotions of lying and say you had a miscarriage. How far you say miscarriage like how are you gonna go to make like. Should he Especially when she dumped me that girl you know that miscarriage what a what a fucking blessing to women who just in the spot makeup pregnancy. And i thought calm again. Somebody's like miscarriage. Yes miscarriage this girl from alaska call. I was just like try to be as firm with her as possible but be like look. Here's the problem you're not. I don't know. I didn't even say i was like this. Sounds like crazy to me. But i was like a house employees because at that point i was like shit this girl i banged ones. You know. try to fuck my life up. So i was like. Oh i'll send you like. Are you asking me for like. Can i guess while you're asking me and she's like no. I don't think that's what i to do. And i'm like you wanna like have i go with somebody who lives not even not only on the continental united states but like which is an eleven hour flight or ten hour flight to get to you and then all the way across the country i go. I just don't see how it's a smart move at all. I go i if this happened that all. You're telling me it's very early like we shouldn't do that. You shouldn't do was like i go got to raise a kid by yourself. I'm not going to be cool with that. So you're gonna move to new york. And i have to tell my was my wife yet but i was like i got our what. What are you going to do. And then like she ended up like which came back and said it was like. Oh i think the was wrong. I got tested the hospital. This whatever trade money. I have no idea either. Way i took it. I was like you know that was one conversation. It's all well and then I saw and by we followed on facebook. She didn't have was. I also made his attention. She just going to have a kid and she didn't. We get the door at the store. Who fucked a female comic at the store and she was like pregnant. You are the paying for it. I'm gonna fuck inhabit. it's up to paying myself. I'll fuck inhabit in your face. If you don't pay the money i'll figure it. Yeah i'll but anyway what i saw. Vecchione vecchio wherever the next time he was like hey man. What's going on with like the thing i was like. Oh yes. She said it was a false. She was just trying to give and he. I remember going man. You are cucumber. Cool are they. Is it. i think you were like that night. Used to your spot. I go yeah i guess i do things like that and then i remembered that as all this is happening where i'm having these physical horrible reactions to things all at once as because i think somewhere i don't know where or if it's a choice i may. I don't think it was a choice. Organically where i became that personality for years. What it's like cool. I guess that like it's probably a good word for compartmentalize to the point. Where like it's just locking away just for analogies locking it away in a box and like that night in my kitchen box exploded. You know a therapist talked to recently said like descriptions everything you've ever filed away in a filing cabinet. Somebody just knocked the filing cabinet over. It's all over the place having it all at once. And i was like well. I'll tell you why that seems whether it makes sense to me. Because when i tell stories never over thought this for people say like they have hand like pressure and like whatever like or just bad news they figured out it goes like you're not a very stretchy guy which i describe myself pretty opposite now gamma pretty stresa guy now but i none of that long but then if i think back all these funny stories i told him comedy even as being a kid i was extremely anxious kid. I was a hated going to bed at night. 'cause i didn't have a tv in my room. And i was little little and like a by going to bed because we still loaned dark. Like with my. If i went to bed. And i wasn't tired i wasn't good like closing my eyes and making it happen eventually. I learned like age. I could put headphones on or something and put on like know radio at night and just talk radio even just kind of like not off to have something going to not make. I was kid that was like there's something living in these walls like a creepy thing and adhered noise like the when the toilet with like in the middle of the night. Just do like the basic like sh- making a noise because like the tanks fill whatever it is just plumbing noises house those i i would like literally would scare me. It would just make me feel something happening. Like the toilets coming alive or so whatever it is just like i know eases. That's what i call it. Even so i hear noises and would sneak into my mom's bedroom as much as i could until my stepfather that came to our lives and i would sleep on her floor at night with a pillow. Just not waker by getting in bed with her. I didn't want to wake her. So i wanted to be in the room with her and she had tv on. That's why i remember like when. Tv would end at night. Because i'd be in there like some star spangled banner. I yeah i started watching like t i'd go in there and like try to make it in there and fall asleep before that the thing what you know starts and then that what a weird it would just play some dumb infomercial. Yup it'd be rerun reruns of primetime reruns. Whatever movie than reruns infomercial infomercial. Statue or such flag in ends out. That's that's screaming. Amyloid up let they just want to work. And then just come back on since i am by for news By start back up. So i would sneak into their ton though. My stepfather came like he had a deal going through all of it again. They'll my brother was born. I think like as we shared a room a bedroom for a while it was. I was able to get just like the existence of another person in the room whatever that was then women's hickory here and then when we moved it now okay good then when we moved across the street kid to oregon teenager. We got a house to get my own room home. But i have my own room back. Came back. didn't just look at that point. I just knew how to like we. I was still funny. Men even moving into that house at that age like the things. I still weirdly enough. But i said i still can't watch. I watched that new saw movie here the other night by myself. Nobody was here. Because ron yeah. Yeah and it's like desperately the horror that kinda like gets me. I love the har that gets me. I love it. But i don't watch things at night like that in hotel rooms why myself it does affect me and so i just think about it for i go to bed So we. I'm still a person that like if i'm down in a dark basement like i'll run up the steps when i leave like i have to occupy myself while i'm down in a dark basement like from changing laundry or something and that kind of shit you on a basement is where i remember my house growing up like even now. Still do this guy. I'd probably have something howard stern or something on my headphones. So i could like some funds happening and then i will not look behind me and run up steps. Run them because what's behind me. I don't know as these weird things that still i. I don't know any of this. Yeah so it's very bizarre. But when i was a kid horror movies i get. I loved him but they would like fuck shit up. But so i said i remember even being of age where like my little sister may have been borne by this point when i watched twin peaks. I didn't watch on his first one. I ran. I watched it. It was on bravo. Okay i locked pressure on so fucking weird. I watched it on bravo. And i love how weird it was. They played every night every night. Yeah they did it like episodically. So i'd love to have fucking like creepy. It was but then. I just remember that finale episode. You're going to this red room and the fuck in the finale of it takes. The last finale episode is twenty some minutes in that red area running around and just different screaming and strobe lights and glassy eyes and weird ship. Pibor saying hours like frozen in fear on my mom's my parents were downstairs or one of them was home. It was downstairs. And i used to watch it up in their tv in their bedroom. I'd watch there at night and we'd just got cable for the first time too. And that scared the shit. So i remember that like i just always hold that in such high regard of we yes to jet referring desert says like david lynch reads my nightmares to him. It was so weird but is there any place like that. A whole you can go into that. They'll keep you for years. But did you ever see like. He doesn't weird moore like his movies like these things that people are like here hates. The movie was stupid. I'm like that's why it made me think about it in my head walking then a long hotel hallway to in the morning something just like with the inland empire which is to me is worst. I didn't like the movie at all. But there's like five or six scenes that just have a thing like a guy running a guy running in slow motion a bit creepy russian looking guy with like a light bulb in his mouth and his eyes like crazy look and he just knows that like the right eerie music and it would just get me but either way. The long story short was i. Was this a nervous nervous kit for longtime then surprisingly once i became like you know i was in a house of the teenager friend. Stay over a lot. I dave stay over a ton when i was married or i was With carla but that. I lived with carlo right from my mom's house. And then right from the living with christine. My girlfriend now for years been alone. I haven't been alone and that there's so many things that are like do you think that's why because you're so nerve threats fucking sleeping alone so you just find some the hotel rooms. I like just stretching out nod like to go to a couple of days but like yeah like it doesn't make sense. I'm telling you. I wouldn't watch like a love heart. I have a subscription that hard channel. Shudder yeah i love has brought to you. I shudder everybody. The top shelf horror movies and occasional new releases that are not quite top-shelf shutter cher dot com is now available on the internet all the internet But i do. I watch so many. If isabella my daughter is in that room over that you know for two bedroom apartment if she's in a one bedroom she's coming here tonight. I can go on my bedroom and watch horrific because you know sherifi arms can get you. It's not being attacked by like a person. It's a distortion of reality. Is what my fear. Because so it's like if i know but then that's what happened if i know what with when distortion reality you've got to like when it pops in two thousand ten. Yeah what happened. Two thousand ten. I just think was something happening. Whatever it was all that shit going on my life. It's almost like a hernia operation with things. Like almost like wherever this wall was like a fucking hole through. It finally started leaking it all and off just became number. The levee broke. I mean how you put it like everything. Broke through. And i was like in one night. I was like no. You're too when i was a kid. Another thing like a problem attic thing in my life. I was terrified of weather. This sky right now. i'd be willing all day. I'm like is this. The one like this is going to be the end of the world ray. Meaning you'll never stopped raining. Thunder made my father again. My reasons why you're my father wasn't that tight with me as a kid. Yeah he took me his step kids and my step mom to disneyworld wants like if we were there for two hours. It was rainy day. Miss florida so it'll stop writing. Yeah but like for the two hours it rained. I was a fucking mess over the rain. We left disney. Left is the into hours Tops you were a kid. I was located. Just couldn't kids like disney. usually i. i wasn't getting over the fact that it was gray skies in cloudy it was this and then who would have a fucking kid. I wouldn't wanna go could be. I wouldn't go. i wouldn't. I want to stay home from camp some arcane day camp in the summer i want to stay home if it was going to be a rainy day. I was just like irrational. But i don't remember getting over it specifically in a thing other them thing. I don't remember a day where i was like what am i doing. It was just like the integration of social groups. Like friends and everything where. You're like walmart again. My friends are hanging out. it's raining outside. He goes while middleton psycho. If i start really being concerned with the rain down probably and then one day it just like i said like the fucking little crack in the wall and it all started way said so all of a sudden. I can't handle anything at all. It was that over alien. Two dozen five or six aliens. Whatever relief theus it was sigourney. Weaver oh three okay. And she shoots like they're coming back from space still in space up there flying back in and she shoots him at option. Miss the poker's a bullet hole right behind him. Yeah it's fucking his. His body gets sunday the whole the whole thing slowly and he can't get out. That sounds like you just like yeah pull right. That's it was just coming. All all at once i guess just flooded in there and the alexa pro did fuck and help but i mean like i say like it was. It was march tenth. I believe was a day in my. I broker that you know that i broke. That was like my. I was never the same after that night. Damn it was a completely different kind of nope. I still take alexa pro to this day. I have to take it so it's like what's your dosage twenty. Milligrams new that done ten. What is the duty. What are the side effects. Nothing zero not. As far as i know wellbutrin never had never had dick. Problems never had never had vivid dream problems by rarely remember a dream and if i do. It's nothing like terrifying. Yeah I don't think sex drive at all did you. Did you have a pro. I had the the thing. I heard about reassigned effect so i just i found out later. 'cause i was like i just couldn't come fuck for a while and just couldn't come And then eventually after like three or four times a girlfriend added time is like admits pills like really you look it up. Oh for sure. I have that with More like Not recreational drugs like molly. We i can tell you can come on molly. I can't come on painkillers. And i'm ali like a fucking fast probably by that being the case but it's not killers. I fucked myself me and christine fucked on painkillers. One night and i fucked myself like i had a long several week long dick problem. No what how. It's putting the wrong stuff or whatever like kind of road. Rash i got. Oh yeah we're trying to hurt dude. I actually code on for for all. I wanted to come. Yeah it's like you know your clothes. You know i can just do this. I don't like take code owner of vicadin during surgery. Because it's like a constipation shitty just feels bad and diaz had surgery. Yeah and plus. I have to have stool softeners. We'll be offsetting the stool softeners. I can just not push my shit anyway. I don't wanna take them and india's. Oh yeah because he just needs like donald. Don't they're terrible. I know they're all goes. You got four for them to do anything that's why they're terrible. It's not strong good too strong. Jesus damp interesting painkillers. Definitely make me a not dot com. I fought so hard. Jesus what's wrong with you. it will come back. I just scratchy throat. Yeah but i I fucked so hard. I put something create something on it the wrong cream so it got worse and worse than it became a problem with the cream. I put on irritated more. And just cut to me like san francisco on a gig and go to an urgent care center like some really pretty urgent care. Doctor i gotta pull up soft pud with like this scratchy redness. all over. She was like that's not like a disease or anything like that. She's like gross. Looking her response was just like have. You just left it alone at all. Like no furiously putting creams and salves on it. She goes sleeve low for a weekend like leftover Was fine completely. Where are you going. What are you doing l. I love for african fucking nineteen eighty only guy buying effort anymore. But i'm keeping him a bit. You are keeping in business. Because when when i need it damn i need it and it works. Know it's funny. I get worried every year that they're going to cut it off. No wherever you that. I'm going to that. I have a problem with it. So i'm like oh shit now is getting so i do get the point every year where i need it like every day before i broadcast. Yeah african and before i perform and then one day every year because last year was the. I'm really pay attention to us like man. I'm like robin supplies. Like i know. There's turkey shortage. Nope we're good but they We go through a because do africa like fuck you get you get addicted to and you've got a friend. Yeah well because no no. It's not like a physical thing where it's like. You won't be able to breathe without like you'll close up without the medicine because you're so. It's like steroids steroids. Replacing your see your body will stop producing at your testosterone. Some kind of thing where it's like. No no these. Your nose doesn't stay open unless you have the stuff now. so yeah. i was getting worried. That's happening to me. And i'm like oh shit we're there and then one day every year. Just don't need it anymore. Offer for like six seven months and then it comes back around seasonal allergy stuff. Maybe that's whatever very strange shows no side effects of the well not. What was it zola. Lexa bro no side effects. Was there any stigma. You worried about taking pills. Like i wanna do that immediately. You didn't want to do that. I don't wanna do that at all. So i so i understand that thing. I don't want to do that. And then all it was was when my mom's friend called and said like i go. That's i'm having that my mom's friend called and said like she had laid out on the floor sometimes that she took alexa pro and it helped her. I was like when that was the first person like my first smile of that whole situation was getting on the phone with my mom's friend and her telling me that and i was like yes. I'm like that you're describing much more. You're the first person. I've talked to That describing a thing. Where you're like take you tell me why inexplicably like go stand over. My daughter's bed at night and say goodbye to her. Because i don't think i'm going to wake up wake and she's like yeah. I that so you were like you're taking Okay i took it and then the worked so you would feel it coming on. It was just instantly at at the height or it's like are starting to where it was always sort of their. Yeah it'd be lingering. But i can go like but we're gonna watch this movie or play. Let's play mba. You know like me. And dave. Because dave is with me a lot interesting thing i'd be like i mean even where i'd have to be like a pause this game for a second like you know you know like like cover my eyes. I lay down for a few. And like i'd start breathing. Do things and try to do columnist of daily breathe and all this with the help take walks exercise eventually but it would take like minutes. I was also then add also feeling useless. I'm the problem in a situation like we do gotta move. I am getting ready to go on these tours imaginary thing. We're moving to my mother-in-law's house while she still lives there. That's supposed to be temporary. It's but no one knows how temporary is going to be. What's the money going to be like and mother-in-law of cheating on your living in long island. Yeah yeah you're living in long island black already. That alone would drive me to fuck an anxious spin by so it's like my life now is coming to new york from law as i might as well be living in phillies. Still you know what i mean like. That drive could be two hours. Sometimes it really. I want to be thirty five minutes. When renaissance he moved he was like no. I'll go in for spots. A lot. And i was like a and then i stayed with them. Just look for a place and listened to the entire the wall on the you a communist for spots. Are you crazy. You gotta wa- you have a wall there at home. Come on. he shouldn't be able to take down to albums of a catalogue. One of the one of the being a notoriously in-depth rock opera opera. You've got to walk rock opera. The wall there. Tommy back out tommy on the way you really get lost in the story that way. It's supposed to be listening to all the way through deaf. Dumb and blind kid played a mean. Pinball you would think he would think he's lacking most of the skills you would require for pinball turns out it's big reveal at the end but yeah so it was a. It's bizarre but i've never like been visiting not anxious person since that day. Does anything specific. Bring it on that. you see. You've pointed to that you can be like oh it might be something like this or one of a few things you know like like not outside like not enough sleep or Bad eating habits or like a a little bit of drama with set set it off or something anything physical or mental. it would set it off. Draw exact drama like a a heap of like shit unnecessary Like gets me wound up now. Because i'm like please let's just why can't it just be fine. You know what i mean like. I said a conflict right. Which is why i was saying before. I liked broadcasting. Because there's no exaggeration. If i'd still no issue with a noma nasty over the book where they wrote that thing. That book about me. You were here for that right. The book at book that came out where they should be basically. You're the thing that they had to call you into their office yet and they talk about the complaint. Somebody called and complained the dirty. There's a book written where the guy. The interview of the book asked gnome about the situation. They've they know they guy asked me to talk about it in the book and it says in the book that i said like i love know my love asti. I love the sour. Like i'd rather not talk about it. I don't want to put it in a book. These put in a book anyway but that and then and then gnomes take on the whole thing and it was pretty shitty but no you know no reached out to me. Several times join talk. I'd like to talk to me. Hear me talking about he. Bring up on air and then like you know. I'd love each other. Call me reach to me. Please give me a call when you get on the come on the show on the show like i'll just put on a little more. It's not that it's not me is me as a i'll put on like i'll have the swagger more of walls around you. I believe i'm right so like mike. Let's do this in front of people where everyone's gonna see. I'm gonna make these great points and whatever here's my thing with confrontation and on a friend level or acquaintance level and then like a stranger level. Yeah an acquaintance level. Same thing so he said jesernik did a weird thing not long ago and i wrote something on social media not shitting on all just like hey you know you re posted the thing that really says wretched shit about me not as jokes. I don't care if shit about that. This is the person saying like me in our friends are not crazy shit. I grew yeah. You're reposting this. What's why would you and i wrote like nazis. Yeah i wrote i wrote. Did you read this whole thing tip. And he didn't write back at all and then it's like from that moment on one of the things he did he spoke to jeremiah. Walk ins about on jeremiah's podcasts. Jesolo neck and he was like i think jason somebody. Let's do it on air. But i was like. I'm like i do this on air. I'm not going to do with mike. Well we're never going to do it. Is this the. He's gonna talk to him at a at a festival somewhere. I go and even says that. I go nisa this next festival. They say i'm on. I'm gonna be combing through the thing for his name to be like please. Just don't be on this thing. Like i don't want to do this because here's a either. I know about myself. Let his back. He goes jay. Baba i go. I don't know cares like broadcasts. It was just like fodder for the show is fine. Even if he's like. I'm sorry or it's like hey like if you hear me aggressively i'm good at. That's what i understand dealing with. I mean what's up motherfucker fucker. You're furious like i think. My my comfort level is like diffusing that or like matching that and we'll have a thing. I with a friend like louis louis. I don't want to call it. Because like he i worry. Other people won't see any perspective other than their own and i pride myself so word by think i try. I do try things. Like and i see it too much so it's almost like ask someone that is fucked up thing to me. It's like i should calm and say something to him about it. But i'm already seeing go. Well they're going to say like what would about. What about all my head. I go and then i do say i go and i do see why they might feel that way. So it's like they might be. Yeah i go from being angered already been like nervous about even having the conversation and it's why i don't so few times in my life i've done it and i really because i have to have a good look at the person and be like. Oh this is a dad. Yeah or this is what our because it a movie theater when you gotta just eventually go like yo. You're fucking this movie up. It's going to movies for general things. Like someone's gonna go. I've walked away from movies. Because i've just seen like a group of like six ethnic fill in the blank. Whatever ethnic teenagers going really white kids. When you're but teenage romanian kids just going into a movie theater that i was going into. I will sometimes be like i go there. Let me loud. I'll go the next showing because they're going to be loud. I'm going. I'm never gonna pay attention to the movie. I'm gonna be paying attention to them. And i'm not gonna say something because in my mind i'm now in a were moments from a fistfight. The shut the fuck up. You're like then they're gonna say something snarky a little too loud or they're not gonna shut up. I'm not going to punch them so it's going to be a thing. Think every level. I also do this one if i go. Hey guys would you mind. Just keep it down a little bit. I'm already gone you you fuck in and so it was like i'm approaching them in my mind. I'm like i'm going to be approaching them with the rage of have to be ready to be in a fistfight and also the neb issue of like. Hey let's not have any sort of an issue. Just can you guys do the right thing. And i'll be over here because i said if anyone has have you ever been kicked out of a bar but asset a bunch. Have you ever gone. You never got so fucked up the issue to leave a bargo. Now who just leave and i go. And here's why it happened. I wouldn't remember because if they were like a. And i think you've gotta go. I'd be like die fog up like that. I do some fucking weird. But i wouldn't if somebody wanted to get into a fight with me and i knew i was a neabry and i know what i'm drunk. I know what. I'm feeling it so like you want to go outside fucker. I'd be like are we. Am i wrong. that's wrong. A few comets fucked up and said some publicly instead of like not and then a shitty. But then it's like as i'm hearing it. It's like when they like that. Something you said. I don't remember what it was like. Something said really hurt me will. I must've go like for you. Say this i'm not going to like. We talked about like i probably forgot. I don't know you know it's funny. It takes me back the told the story for on things. But it's so true. It's it's very indicative thing of like what my i like to use words like i i remember when i was. The girl had a major crush on all through high school. Yes necessary galley the very very italian name guy like and she didn't like me like that at all but she friendly with me enough for she. She should give you a pity. H j now no no no. We never saw each other naked anyway. But i would love to but i think some of my friends did. What's her name. Just fair galley. It's a neces- faira galley yet. She was my She was my high school crush. Only she wasn't there was a there's funny. It's been a bonfire thing. We have great clips of genetics. Saying both when she called the show she called in. Yeah that's great She's ios expand samantha montavani which is like the girl samantha. Monteverdi was the girl who left for a couple of years. Yeah so whether with different like middle school or something. Transfer back transferred back and she was like the left for junior highs. Basically what it was and she was like A bowl haircut little girl with like who were like should became babe color. Like sweat suits. You know what i mean like. She was a kid and then came back like wearing like a rat. T shirt with like you know you could see her bra under. This is like she looked. She looked like she became your money overnight. She left and came back of a girl. He's like my mom and her mom were friends. I think so. I put a good work for now. They were about but think her mom you know played with her as a kid. A little bit smith montavani. And she's still. I can show you on facebook. She's still like very hot chelle. She'll she'll say she would be on rock of love really with a. yeah absolutely. Well we're going to say about it though was more about a whole cheese so he holds cheese Well i'll tell you the genetic so my friend my friend. Tj one to yeah. I yeah okay google leader. I feel like genetic won't be as hot as a month. Vanni among shown anybody. Okay was my let me see. I could probably find a picture. You can see which looking at high school to you i was doing. I'm fighting with which has comic or like or like a a hobbyist comic. You know the ones aren't on all the time and they'll say something about her over jokers and you're like i if i get this moment mike. You're just a civilian. Oh yeah and then. I'm like oh i don't want to hurt your sound like you're out. You're you're done on the fight anymore. His great picture is on her facebook too. So this is. She's actually next to the girl who was my date for that dance. You got the no So this one here was my date schwartzberg. She's authorizing through for some reason. Now let me tell you what. This is a great story to here. That was the girl. I fucking. Doug high school. Yes this is yeah. This is c. Looks like she puts it down schwartzberg though some schwartzberg schwartzberg at this time still currently was the. You can't copy off my homework. One color sweatsuit hockey schwartzberg jays not going to mess up the curve. You're still getting into yale. But but schwartzberg fucking was just like in blossomed just this night. She came out like ready to go. And at the end of the night. I was so i was not confident kid but because i went according schwartzberg like i was giving like i was doing her the favor a bit and she looked great and then that night i remember telling her friend i was like that's according like i'm cool hook up. I'm still a virgin myself. The i'm of cool hook up like if she wants to go and it was like she doesn't want hook up like she was doing. I i switched. Schools is what it was like. This is junior year. I switched schools and it was like the only way i could have gone to that dance. And she didn't have a date so it was like she was like she does look incredibly hot but so genetic again she's like i said she was. She was she wasn't like a thin girl then. She wasn't fat at all but she was sick. That i call it. Smooth yes Big titties the whole deal noise. I liked her and so much so that my friend who hooked up with her i forget they fought their whatever. Whatever it was. He was done with her And he just shit talking with is he's a-warrants toss one day. Not maybe not. Even knowing how much i liked or whatever yeah like she knew for sure but like and he was like you know something like and whatever like then she was like this up there on might go eat a cheeseburger fat. Something he definitely didn't say to her but like you just saying it's us. I remember that long cheeseburger you pitch. And i was like ha you say that about her. She's an angel so she worked at west goes video. Nice nice hook up there. And i walked over the west coast video. I used to walk up there. Get movies but really just like believe. You're not gonna tell me you didn't tell him i completely did completely total him. No j. in my mom. Because here's what i'm seeing in my head cut. Podcasts are here. We're done the thing. I pictured we got to learn these lessons. You know okay picked. That was a mistake. Yeah the thing. I pictured was only her going like take you so great for telling me that i now i understand that you are the person i love and it should be with you but the reality is the reality is she just hurt. She's the her she. Hey come your friend. But everybody saying you're i said i'm your friend. I'm not hearing putting out after a bad set when i was like the comedy store. I go to kearney's the fucking choke down the pain with some chili dog. And you go back in customer leaving and they go. I thought funny. And i'm like what do you mean i can't say i thought you were funny why i thought the inflection the inflection is. I thought you were good. I love it. So it's our she falls the pieces. She eagerly mice option and it's true was immediately called him to be like fuck you. Now you're rat arrack and it was so funny it was like you. You told on me you told. Why would you do any of these things. So the next time i see. Tj the kid can't be happy with you is in school. And i know it's coming. I feel and it's like it was one of the most diffusing things of like dumb luck had behavior that i really do. Try to not exhibit anymore for that reason. And how much. Almost understanding from tj that day. Like how much more you win if you stay calm most. Have you stay calm you win. The argument Women can't learn that because even their calm is now and it's still stock. It's like that's the kind of calm i mean. Well i wasn't. I call like yeah we could do this or not like that thing and i i remember going out there and i teach come up to me. And he's a significantly smaller than me too. But like i remember having thing he was like he's like purpose. You fucking told you that. I said thing and i was like i'm like wow what's up there like i was already in the thing i'm like so i guess we're fighting. I go. I go warm up. We're gonna fight or something like now. Why why would you tell her. I said what. I was just talking. Shit like to my explaining it on the news. And you're like fucking fucking doofus for doing that dude. I don't know why did it. I think i. I don't know if i even did. I think is back. Tell them i'll or maybe that he's not cooman about whatever it was tie i think at some point i had to say the full thing of. Just like yeah. That was so dumb. It didn't change anything with me in her. Probably even was kind of like she just now sees me as the person that reminded her of that all the time. I had a girlfriend who i found. It was like kind of cheating on me. Or at least dating somebody. Mushrooms samantha montavani and then And then i was like who these flowers from and she was like you know she's a nobody off. Hit meet some guys sending her flowers. I just sat down on her bed and she goes and she sat down. It was just defeated like shit. This might be the relationship way modern. Now damn dude. That's their biggest show in high school. She was like yeah. She's in high school you to see her in high school so the picture and the no. That's me this is this is the girl. Just this is the girl who who was the all around like. She didn't even date guys in school. She needed like she fucking dated a college guys. Post college guys. Yes dating fucking adults. Yeah so anyway. Listen so we. So we're like oh it's it's some guy and she goes you're gonna hit me know what know do people you hit me you want me. What are you are you up help. I'm going to cry come on. She's hot dude. She's legit like not bad now in her forties right here probably a year older than me. If i had to go forty one. Yes if i could find like i mean. She's definitely she got it. I mean it's like this is her as an adult for serbia could see when she came back to school. She was something and she did it. All upright right as she looked she has. The hair was all wet. That thing like rock and roll shirts ripped jeans. The first person gm's at chick with yeah with rich with ripped jeans and the boots over like no girl in school was doing that. Yeah we started to have a few of the goths. Yeah but we didn't get we didn't get any of the We didn't start getting into like the fucking. Yeah the rock chicks to him and she was like the Was like the first one. I said she just came back like and it was like said it was i think she was. Like what the fuck. Fuck cabinet samantha. Month of yeah do dome. it's gore sweats. All the time met montavani straight so my reunion where some of the grow slings were like. She's like i'm twenty eight ten. The right look. Yeah the fucking cowboy headache like q. Like mouth yeah now. She's definitely raspy voice. She looks like if it was like really got crazy. She's like we suck your dick and then someone else dictators it goes but she's got mouth like there's room for one more. Oh there's room for one more so he started taking let's get back a little bit to it What time is it threat pretty soon. So then you get on Zoloft sorry No weight gain nothing. And so i'll underwear so no sleep didn't fuck with you know lack of sleep not or you've never noticed that it was just like some drama. Bring it on harder No lack of sleep winberg probably makes me just as ornery as anybody in and again like with alexa pro. Like every it's not you don't get upset or angry. Or i rate or whatever just like you have a grip on it all better you know i mean i definitely don't get like in a place where he go off if i'm walking around a carnival because you see here's what it is honestly like you feel so good for a while you just forget for a couple of days and then you're like oh why i met having a it makes sense like if you get like three or four days you just forget so it's like i don't bring it on the road with me i was like oh shit i mean it's just you know like i didn't bring the rhode island couple of weeks ago. The doctor call one in the rhode island. Just i was like. I shouldn't miss a day. You know. I mean. If i'm on it i'm on it so like the fuck around like that but why i've done it in the past at all i won't now. I would do if like therapist told me try. Try off a little bit with a therapist. Got under care of someone absolutely pharmacy. I'd never come off like aggressively like fuck. This has been forgetting and what happens if you get through like four days of forgetting and you have the zaps it all not having like weird. Things happened to me. Because it'd be off you're like all right. Let me see if i can hold together for. Walk off now again. My problem isn't like debilitating anymore in the sense that like all know before it gets there. I'm like on my back. You know christine when we're sitting here watching tv. I'm just like the. I'm barely barely paying attention to that. I'm thinking of something like twitter. I go. I have to get on alexa pro. I gotta jump back on like it's i can't tell you that. I know like in three weeks even with placebo effect. I'll feel better in a couple of days and then in three weeks. I'll be like it'll take to release the full. Get back into your system. Yeah if your way down. Just say if you way down. That's what happened. The beginning of quarantine. I was off again from forgetting and whatever things were moving things. Were going. T make it worse. I mean the all the like the world's whatever it was of stress in the news and the new york waking up every day and like again. Like what was happening when i realized that. Yeah and then what i realize I was like. I'm taking my temperature like every time i get up to do anything like oh i'm in the kitchen i might as well slap it on again. Only takes two seconds. You know what i mean like and read. And i was like and you're looking at like ninety nine one nine nine this stupid you only age how you feel you the only guy who got the the virus who was still very worried about getting the virus because clearly if they had the antibodies like i had it and didn't know select. I walked through it. Yeah he was still like. Oh i can't be in a place like just like i don't know if it comes back around in my ventilator personnel at you know but my parents work in that field the worst case scenario yes yes it is what it is like. I said before. If i ask this guy who i can't see behind me To please be quiet. The movie theater. This is a guy in my mind. My mind already built up. As the worst case that goes that his plan today was it goes year. Let me go fuck up a movie theater for a while. And then wait for the motherfucker. Just wait for the motherfucker. Sam because you know he could take his parking spot or if somebody's like nam saving this bomber somebody and you wanna be like no. You can't save us. Can't stand here and say the spa but then it's like if i take it there for sure gonna key my car. Yeah they're going to be like. Hey somebody took it. But which i never. I'd be like i've done it. I've done anything not keyed. I'm saying i've done the same. It's the same thing. Because i if somebody said to me if god forbid i'm more of a person who like you know had my ex wife he's talking at mcgill shut up and she talked with like isabella get his both. Don't teach. this is like stop. Stops being so hispanic. This is the movie theater area to other people are watching a movie. You stop doing so. I don't be because if somebody did. I was ever happen but if it did. If somebody felt the thing. I was making enough noise at somebody just went. Hey man would you mind. I'd be like so sorry massachusetts. If they say it nicely. The first one was on a cellphone. Like i just got my first flip cell phone. And i was talking about carney's and i was talking to didn't know how to voice modulate on it was like. Yeah got so far you know and some lady table over. This is fucking roadside diner. It's fucking hot place. And she just gets up. She resume leaves us headaches. Ruining my meal which allow talking instead of like at any point you could have been like. Hey keep down. Oh so sorry or that but because she felt like she was like hey sooner meal without even missing shop kant was just like to. This level is your. I'm assuming the way that i've just i've never. I've never wouldn't ask that question on apologetic but that's the problem. Why it's zero to one hundred for me is because i approach things with like a as almost i'm asking you like hey guys. Can we please not have this. Be like a real fight thing. And then i always figured reaching out. Even if i'm complaining why am i say why. Am i why. I go like someone. Who's being shitty at a show of mine like so hard. yeah why. I'm sort of skating. I think i know how to do. It like keeps the crowd on the side but where you could say wretched things. Somebody is because everything in my life. I like people and friends. And i wouldn't be so they always coming with like this kind of metaphor like metaphor. You know shaking of a hand. And it's like i feel. The reaction is getting slapped in the face. So that's why but it's my fault for maybe coming like why married about sodas a little more confrontations one like. I gotta have this difficult conversation now. But it's like you know even when i've fired managers twice get so hostile because they do the thing. I'm hoping they don't do it. I'm so insulted. Go listen to you. Guys were great. It's just like i gotta like these few things happen. That are just like. I got i got. I got different direction and they go. It's like well you know fucking difficult. It is to get someone like you. Booked like few fucking. I hope you're fucking mom gets raped. Fuck i'm on my rate. Because i was i already. You suck at your job. And i'm still approaching this. Please don't be sad and upset and you're coming at me with like a well you fuck and suck dude fuck. You tried to poke. Its okay at the thing. Once you start talking like do you know how hard it it's like. We're not going to work this out. It's over so that's what even when they come the opposite way. It's like why all right dude. It's already over my first manager. Ken trish cash. I'll always and he's tried to be like friendly with me and chat with me festivals when he has somebody else or some new client around of his leaves business comes back in and he's a trust fund kid yeah but I was like hey man. Hey you're here are things are going good. And it's like you really. It's like i. Walk away because i really like what i want to do. Every time i go you you emailed me. That's fine when i was like i'm going to try to different direction and try to work with somebody more like i said i want somebody more stand up and you're trying to get all his acting stuff. It's not my bag. He goes yeah he goes. Yeah you're you as the problem. Is i picked you up to young. You're not talented enough for this. And just like it was just straight negative. It was negative. And he's just going like wow see my dude. You told me i was going. You know going nowhere in this business and tell them no just like i just can't believe he's like hey what's up buddy and i'm like because here's the thing when i heard about that i it killed me to fire him but we were just in the wrong direction. It was he wasn't getting getting me. Stand up stuff. And he wasn't getting me an agent for that he just kept sending me out for like variety and commercials. And whatever all this stuff. And i'm like dude. It's not i don't wanna do this tip deal. But he gave me the worst advice j. Flu is my my new faces manager. And he just like didn't say anything about my calm and he goes. He goes off to buy a graph where you want to sell a sitcom well my mitzi or some because you want to be associated he goes and also put on like a button down shirt and like get something like dark jeans around. Maybe dress clothes or dress shoes. Where yellow and go by johnny banana. But i wore dress shoes and for all and with jeans dress shoes and just so not at any way how i would dress for something and i felt like a jerk off. I didn't do well i did. You know okay Nothing memorable gave david lewis or somebody some advice like you saw. Somebody cringes at the old stand. Talk the manager talk. Telling a guy is right when i got to new york eight nine years ago and then you said before that and you saw the manager walk away. You put them cycles. Hey they don't. They're not any comedy. Do what you're supposed to do that. It's like they're out of their mind at hit me. So do all about your fucking. I was like. Why don't have have fifteen minutes of the dingoes it now so i did. It was like before you know before i went. It was just like. I'm working out new and you know and also nothing that's like dirty. It's me done better. If i just did like my. Yeah absolutely failed. The way you want to and it was new faces by stuff wasn't strong anybody who struggled to get there so my point is if i did what i did to get there. I would have got the crowd the same way if i would look back on. It now is like well. I got him with like a joke and they will. Not you know now saying you've got with my shit at the time on mike. I'm sure it's i read those jokes like green and juvenile now. But at least i would have because a lot of. It's not the fucking jokes man. It's how you tell your wi hack works. I mean the guy who comes out there is doing nothing different when he goes and my wife and kids are busting my balls and some big actually goes like these flogging. You're these fucking kids. T shirts inch can you. Can you talk yourself. Yeah for show you wanna go your way. Can you talk your so like you. See the worst in everything. There was an advocate said. Who is at all. There was an ad read that was going around and they was promised to pay quite well like real well and they didn't end up paying quite well but it was pissing everybody off. I was promised this much. I didn't make it. What the fuck. And then we had a talk ourselves down to go if they promised me what i ended up making i would still be like hell us So you have to tell yourself like okay. Let me see the good instead of only see the bad part right. Can you talk yourself down from seeing only the bad and something you can you. Can you see yeah. You can now. Yeah yes for sure bye bye still think my first inclination is always gonna be fucking. It's wise still. I'm still afraid to fly you. Are you really yeah Do it like you wouldn't tell if you were on a flight with me bug. Someone who like with me a lot on flights will be able to tell like you'll hear me like at some point on a really rocky flight. I was still vocalized. If someone's with me like fuck like it's like what is it goes just like let's start a conversation because just got distracted myself until we get through. I will just sit here and stare at the window and look at wing. Yeah is how different depression anxiety. If i when i was most depressed if i felt any light turbulence i was so finally. It's being taken care of for me. All i quit going down a lovely. I do have depression. So i definitely get that you that to do but let me tell you why. I don't take depression meds or i don't really need to pressure meds. I think the pressure that i have is relatively healthy creatively. Get out of it like myself. I don't need like it doesn't last forever. Did i mean it doesn't last for more than like hours. Sometimes when i'm just feeling that low because Of that's a yeah you could deal with that. I could deal with that and i also realize it is what it is so i sort of embraced the moment of that. Like let me feel low a little bit like maybe something funny. Oh confidence but what does what does funny from. That is like the fucking. We said it would be funny. Because what ings -iety does for you talk about something a smash into shape a little bit. Is it lets. You know very quickly. You're terrified quite the opposite of suicidal. You are nightmarishly of debt terrified of the so. I know when i feel that way. That it's like a just a fucking brain fart that makes sense. Yeah so. I can embrace more so i said to louis louis would be say the both times we. We're not we're to do whatever it's really personal and is fine but it like to do you wanna read because have you written a suicide. Whatever i'll say. Oh yes i know. yeah like. It's in my phone in my notes from years and years ago but it's probably been edited a few times even i've thrown some new things near that. I've hated about myself. Whatever i go. It's in there but it's like i'd read it all. I would only read on a comedy show. Because it's fucking ridiculous. But i know that but even when i was writing it i felt it but knew it was ridiculous that makes sense. I wasn't writing to give anybody. It's just a thing almost you're writing. It's just this thing on and even a suicide gay just like got a self hate fuck in suzano letter works because it will be written read by someone right. It does work as a this is going to be seen So like it is protective. No no absolutely. Yeah but i wrote it. Yeah so was like the way. I would like this toolbox. But it's cliche i'm going for it not even know what. I'm writing it when i'm writing. Yeah it's fucking. It's sad while i'm writing and it's sad because but again this is so many years ago to even like remember ultimately that i wanted to speak like indefinite of it but like whatever it was. I already knew at that point. You're like well not. I mean capable of killing myself for Because i'm terrified of fucking dying. I was like but i understand the emotion where you said i said i've said this on so many shows too stupid lying because it is. That's it's silly and sad. Sacchi is like maybe everyone would just be a little better off with that old stupid me around. But it's just self-loathing you're just looking for like really was no you're asking also the voice in your mind that just be like i mean like it's anything stuff like that it goes. Maybe it would be better. It's like yeah you probably your eighteen year. Old daughter would be better with a processing her father killing him. So yeah yeah dude. The world be better with that like more than you like missing her birthday phil work a couple of times like you think she'd be better off if you're dead now because then you're like oh yeah yeah. It's not the you thinking it out ghost actually. It's not nearly as bad as we. Of course but this is not even written. I said my written is like a goodbye. Cool world it is really just written is like it's like i'm of this. I'm a piece back. I'm a philander. You know there's all these things. I mean it's like i constantly to people i just you know all these. I would love to see a car ride with a suicidal depressed and anxiety in the passenger seat and the one guy cry. I don't know if it goes to do this. I have to the curse the other guys like. Are you trying to hear. You just can't do supposedly you're supposed to do. Oh my god are. There are a lot of comics who have anxiety. Have you seen it in other people and you recognize it and the people without them saying no no no. I can't like But in common. I guess i can when they go. It's like same thought about all my friends who have done or had coke problems When they go. It's like yeah like you didn't know like names but you don't say you didn't know that so and so a major co problem and you go any. Oh i guess. That's why i would have described when people was like. Oh he's like Jittery balancing in and out. He talks a lot and you say something not really paying attention. But he's like he's He's he's looking his lips and nodding allot. that's cocoa. Okay all right. I really do it so i don't know what the thing i mean. Take tripoli we're at bray. I think something like that. Some cops came into throw somebody out and he goes We were like looking at the cops manager and then all the way south behind him just like gawking looking and he goes. Hey look at that. Look at the waitresses like mouth and it was like clenching clenching clenching clinton. What is that goes. That's coke man because he was hired recognized ever really something later in the thing you could see it like looking zaidi is like this very exciting. Inducing business so yeah. We know a lot of people waiting for like lever. Josh adam myers like the emotion he has and it's funny. I'm just removed from it. So i'm trying to like happy for. I'm trying to remember me. I'm almost got past. The college commie sob. Want to wish him. The congratulations where to go absolutely told me baker's fucking makers. That was the last thing before we're gonna move out here and you're like i like okay and i'm doing then i'm like that's going ahead. Mike what are you talking about. Be dishing at the seller was weeks building up to it. Thank everyone was going to tell. And then when i did pass it was like how i'm getting high five by patrice and keith. And everyone like hell. yeah man. that's what the store and now it's like. I just know that the seller is now also seeing like you know like pass the seller dude. And you're like oh congratulations. That's pretty amazing. Considering you're not gay or ethnic zero means it's pretty amazing. You're so bitter about the the. That's the club you know. It's the so of course he's excited. When i got there i would you and metzger like You know like well let me get my feet like set here new york. I and you're both like why. What do you mean you just stand up last week in l. a. What set i right now and like well. No slowdown guys. And you're like it's wonderful. What ari just show show her that. You're a fucking headline. what do you mean. And i was like. I don't know a nerve. Wracking lisa some lower to it. But yeah it's not the same. It's not is that what it was in that regard it it'd be it's better than ever in numbers of patrons do when i first had it as lower you could go online and get four free tickets to any comedy. Cellar show you wanna know. Yeah just by asking the not for sure and now it's like it's a machine it's a machine but it's like you know it's all because much much like machine happens. You know what i mean like. How do you put it other than to say. The store tastes lawsuit. Taste of the. I bet the taste of the burgers and fries and milkshake at that first. Mcdonald's was fucking like fantastic. People found out about it by the time they got so like the fiftieth. Mcdonald's like it's all like the same then you gotta start figuring out like how to package certain things certain ways and it's more about this and keeping things fresh longer and what can we ship. That's just the same not the same so saying so. I think this hour just became a thing where we need machine so now. It's not like we're getting the best comics in the world. We need this. We need this kind of person. Dad's not there who right and then same with mitzi it's like said of it's going auto run but like not quite the same someone hands on every day. What would you tell somebody starting to feel this shit like on their own now like you know. It's it's a where they start to feel like oche of someone's gonna watch us on youtube. Please subscribe And relate to run a run to therapist. I should have done therapy then more. I did it very like band aid like i went like three times And then i was like once expert kicked and i was like. I'm good dude you mind. He's a and he's like he's going again. But we still gonna find out like the root of this. We gotta find out why that popped like that. Go doesn't matter bro. i'm fine. I i go shit happens by the way is also in that first moment as first couple of weeks of feeling fine like not only fine. You're related. you can't fucking believe one point. I was like. I going to be like this forever. Like this is terrified. Like i say. I described it as i didn't wanna commit suicide. Yeah but i wished someone would take like i said i. I'd be fine to find out. Somebody was gonna come up very soon behind me and put one in the back of my head. And i'd never know what's happening. You know what. I mean that makes sense. I was like i don't want to kill myself. I'm like i also can't live like this like it's a horrible way to live like i'm afraid of everything. Yeah irrationally and i know. It's irrational when you are gone if you sink into it like mania. It's not you know as someone says me recently. Who had it that we know is me the meaning of so feels good. Like you're like 'cause you're going like no no you talk. Let me tell you how wrong everyone has. I'm right this coke it's again it's like you feel this sense so you know like coming out of it like right. We went to start working. I wasn't afraid anymore. You're like life's never been better. Because i was like well i'm broken. Guy broke myself that night. And i can't get better as i had a brain chain so for months you're like i was worri ripping. It was great. Yeah so how long between the first weed smoking on the garage till the lexical kicking more age three month three just three months of it three and a half months of it. Yes total of that. Bad my justice and said i should say home wrong about that so i didn't get on lex pro though dude i struggled through it for a fucking for two months too much is eaten the shit on it like every night when i when i start looking for medication was when i it finally hit i was able to get on stage my age would go away i just wanted feel that anyone stages the only time i don't feel the pain and then and then stabbed new york one day i was on stage and i was like what what do you do you start going. My and i was like. I stopped listening having accomplished man. I'm like i'm like dude. Don't pass a hell like fucking br I'm sweating and my hands. Going numb wasn't i thought it was going to pass out. I was just kinda. Like i don't think are usually zone into this and i'm not i'm not zone in his right now and i got through. It was fine. I had an episode on stage. Like no one would've known. I just knew i was like This be over now. I was looking for the light. When i got that sucks. I'll make it now. That i don't even have like defecting work now. I gotta figure out. I gotta find out what's going on a soda a mushroom show in montreal. We're all gonna do mushrooms and talk about mushrooms. only meet him did it But he said like. He saw a light at Cleopatra light in the corner and he was just having a conversation as has for me to. I saw somebody lamey early sucking still spewing out bits up any part of you miss it when it was gone up at the Data thing maybe. It was too long. But i started to develop a little bit of like self not self worth over it but like this is who i am. Mike depre- so when it left i felt good but also like all that that was me. That's damage of us. Though is like wearing are like fuck up. Says like our most interesting and they are interesting. But you shouldn't try to keep them but yeah like for that like i said before. It's like some people who have like a war. Why be funny if i'm not fat. Like yeah sure sativa coke will i be okay. We'll be funny. That's what i'm saying. They with do well. I be funny. Say probably to a point. That's not good. I'm like oh i am. I gotta take a couple of hits of joint flag on stage. I'm not but i don't. I don't need it. I'd be fine with that probably sharper. Maybe in some ways but to me. Even if i'd be sharper i don't think i would be. But let's say the arguments ib be sharper. Just not inebriated in any way but the but the weed that the change of perspective has always been. What about it. That i love. It just takes me thinking. I just look at something from a different angle. That's all. That's what. I did what i find the right stuff for stupid like mtv talking head shows. I would write what i could write until i was annoyed with it and i wasn't enjoying it anymore. Writing yeah an hour or so of like just stupid jokes about feeling apple's dress at an award show or some shit and then i would smoke as when i smoke less to you know so. Hit you hard like that. I would smoke. And i'd be like we got some fun. i had. i not even think about her stupid bug. Is you know what i mean like. I was even looking at this picture of the right way. I'm looking at her fucking dress. Like dress look stupid face. You know what. I mean it. Just a perspective changed. And that's what i like. Because i feel i'm always going to a show especially on the road so it's like Getting their new club. You know what i mean. It's like is a staff cool. Do i know the staff visit. Just you know. There's so many things that i of that you when i smoke weed i go out and i'm just solely on like what is this. Crowd on here yet helps. We helped me if do a bit too much too many times to be like museum and some other part of it. Br breathe new life. And so it absolutely go into a as i said before. It's funny. I know when i tape a special like the best time i'll ever tell if i do the the story. You know the armageddon story. If i do that on a special Say it'll be the best version of that. Be under the pressure of having to get past to be so. It won't be anything i've written about it. It'll just be that day. For whatever reason i'll explored a little bit everything i've done. A recording wise has always been that like they all. That was the sentence. I was looking four for the year. I've been doing this. Show there it is. It just gives us some of the pressure of it. Yeah that's why. I like doing the crowd much. It's it's it's it's direct focus. I'm forced to focus. Should have done one more. This is not happening. Yeah really get all those few stories that were like the amazing ones of mike and we're gonna get this in just to get them like to get him in. Get them down. See the show out the right way. What are you going to take. Just walk and ride it out. Though everyone thinks everyone else's Medications a twenty mills. Where are you going to betas. it'll be on a couple of weeks. i'm going to be all overman. I'm in albany. I've got indianapolis that's not that's already passed. Probably see pat all shit ms pets in india. Fuck outside andy do she. Lives in the burbs. Zisti since frightens white people. Really she is where she's a crazy. Yeah no white area. Very white house dot com from dates to bonfire on siriusxm faction. Talk one three and legion of skanks. of course. now. I'll say that all the to hell yeah Thanks buddy that we'll be in pittsburgh together. August twenty fifth or something around there one night only and the name here the maybe two shows. We'll see all right. I'm glad you're back and better. You are great at fucking hiding that shit. Really really amazing reelect blow walk. Oh yeah other derosa going through nothing and just yeah. Now i i wanted. A bigger slice uses smaller slice. I should i not have. There's nothing i tell you that. We have to work with joe hours. They will offer uk so fresh. That was the episode every bata. Thank you very much. Big j very revealing fucking do this. They were feeling Yeah man i was great dude. Thank you for doing that. I can go in there and do my set right now. But what a colocation. You watch on youtube sakugawa location. Isn't it okay. I know it's cool. It looks like a fucking it. Looks like a movie set. It really does. Oh that's the episode. thank you very much. Go checkout big o. Dot com tour dates again. I'm thank you better have one more time. Dotcom guys. better health dot com slash ari. Ten percent off your fucking first month but really. Just go there for yourself. If it's way way cheaper than traditional therapy and it's more convenient and the pain point is going to get help because if it's a struck a chord with you what he was saying then you need some fucking help so go get some help better. Hope dot com. That sounds like way more than i meant it to be. But the sentiment is there so That's the episode. I dunno if everybody questions Leaving the comments talk about it in the comments about your own experiences with fucking anxiety and If your friends maybe now you could be a little more calm with them. Or it's like oh i saw you were going through. I get it now. You weren't just being dick you you couldn't handle it. He at this party or at this thing. yeah anyway. that's it guys. Also sign up for my patriot. If you don't mind patriot dot com slash ours. Your fear episodes all the time. I think that's it for tuning in and get that new shirt catan new shirt by nick. Dis what no nicholas i i know but these what no what i'm saying is these is last name is what nick tees. No no. but. I'm saying these what i don't know shock mounted nick dis to the artists of the new shirt. Yeah yeah i get that. But what i'm saying. Is dis like the guy who made the shirt dis dis. I say anyway so long everybody turning it till next week. I do have a very weird possibility. That next week could be a very interesting commentary on a previous episode. We haven't really done a so for sure. Oh and my special passive aggressive is coming out. Faulk tease this better. But i'll do it in the commercial for the for the catcher. Have it but maybe not but so coming in like sometime in july. I gotta pick a date. But i'm gonna put up my special passive aggressive online. Joe wanna have the rights to put it up. So it'll be here on youtube dot com slash. Okay thank you guys very much staff our streaming back back.

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Deborah Gilboa: An Attending Family Physicians Perspective on Healthcare

Perspectives on Healthcare

19:32 min | 2 weeks ago

Deborah Gilboa: An Attending Family Physicians Perspective on Healthcare

"Welcome to the perspectives on healthcare podcast. Where members of the medical community from different roles then use and locations share their unique perspectives on quality healthcare. Its future and how to improve it now. From the your keynote speaker studio in pittsburgh pennsylvania here is your host rob oliver. Thank you for joining me today today. I have a friend of mine that i met over. Twenty years ago we. We met through some very cool circumstances. She was spearheading. A disabilities studies program through the through the pit medical school. Which anyway she was doing great things twenty years ago and she is still doing great things. Her name is deborah gilboa. She joins me. She is a member of generation x. She is from here in pittsburgh. Pennsylvania she is a family physician and an overall wonderful person. doctor jeep. welcome to the show. Thanks so much. It's like the best in show ever. It's fun to have all kinds of different people on. But when you have people on that are that you know and that are just good people it makes it even even more enjoyable. So here we go. We start right off the bat. Tell me about yourself and your role in healthcare. So i am an attending family. Doc like you said and for people who aren't totally clear. A family doctor is a board certified physician. It's not so much anymore that you can be general practitioner. When my parents grew up they had their. Gp that's my dad called it their general practitioner and those are folks who've gone to medical school and usually spent one year interning in a hospital and then they opened office hung out their shingle. And that's no longer an option for doctors. It hasn't been for about thirty years. You've got to do a full residency. Get board certified in something. So i got board certified in family medicine which means i can see everybody. I see newborns in the hospital a day after they were born or sometimes an hour after they were born. I know how to deliver babies. And i take care of people through end of life care in there hopefully nineties and one hundreds and the reason that i think it's so cool. Is that often in my practice. I see kids and their parents and their great grandparents and and occasionally their great grandparents. So let me. I had a family physician on dr parks and he. He said the challenge of being a family physician. Is that you you have to have such a breadth of knowledge. That is hard to keep a handle on. What's your reaction to that that concept. I teach medical students in the office every week. And i always tell them that when they're trying to figure out what field they want to go into they. I have to figure out if they are a generalist kind of kherson or a specialist. Kind of person might one of my best professors in residency. His roommate med. School became an ophthalmologist. But not just an ophthalmologist who focus on the eyeball and three inches of nerves but a front of eye specialist so really like two millimeters of geography and every possible thing that can happen within that area that is a specialist personality. Somebody who wants to know absolutely everything about something. Then you've got a sesame street generation folks and we'd like things to change every ninety seconds we want to see you know big bird in one room and then come into another room and have elbow in another room and talk to maria in spanish. So when you're in that situation when you're more of a generalist personality you wanna know something about everything. And that's definitely who i am. I don't need to know absolutely everything. I need to know where to find science based evidence based reputable reliable information about anything pretty quickly and i need to know what i don't know so that i ask questions i believe that we're kindred spirit in that desire to have a broad a broad range of knowledge. Sometimes it's not a real deep depth of knowledge over the the breadth. But i'm knowing where to get. The information is very very important. What does quality healthcare mean to you quality. Healthcare to me is really the kind of health care that i get to practice where i work meaning. I am not just allowed but expected at my health center to dig deep and to be persistent and to recognize my patients expertise and my own expertise and figure out ham marriages. Okay you said you're recognizing your patients expertise. Tell me more about that concept. If you can. Absolutely when. I see a patient. They come to me for my expert opinion and i know that sounds terribly modest. But honestly if you're gonna do eleven years of training you better grow an expert opinion. That's based in a lot of knowledge and a constant learning so they come to me for my expert opinion. I should be an expert on diagnosis and the body and our minds and how they work and what good questioning sounds lake in being a really good listener and how put all those puzzles together and what tests to order and what medicines are available. But you are an expert on you. You are an expert in your history. You're an expert on what does and doesn't work for you. You're probably an expert in whatever diseases or experiences. You've gone through far more than i could ever be. An you bring perspective and at an education that i couldn't have so once i recognized and have both the humility and the courage to help you recognize your expertise in your own life experience then. You know that. I'm listening to you and we're much much more likely to come to a correct understanding what's happening and put together a plan that works for you. Then if i impose the little. I know of your particular diagnosis on you. Especially because what. I know of your particular. Diagnosis is based on other people's experience of that illness or that injury or that state whereas your experience is based on your own life with that and it's more accurate to you. It is so funny to hear. I know it's not just funny but it is fantastic to you. Say that okay. I do in some of my speaking. I do a presentation for medical professionals. And i call it. Rob apology one. Oh one and the idea is. I can teach you a course about me. Okay because i have the expertise of me and that really fits in with exactly what you're saying you have. You have an advanced degree in medicine. You've got the research you've got the understanding but without pairing those together. Very powerful concept. I can you give me an example of quality healthcare. Yeah so i'll give you two. One is harder for most healthcare providers to do my house center allows for home visits. And that's just not financially reasonable or practical in most health centers. But i would encourage anybody. who could. Who's listening who could incorporate it into their practice that it does save you a ton of time on the back end in my practice everybody in our practice does home. Visits for different reasons For example in our practice or medical director said geriatrician and she goes to her patients. That either kanter won't come into the office. And she considers that really valuable use of retirement and it really is for myself. I go when. I don't know what i don't know about what's going on with that patient so when we're really struggling to figure out how to make something better why something is happening. I found in my. I just got a certificate in the mail. Last week from the american academy of family physicians thanking me for twenty five years of membership. And i think i had the moment that a lot of people have when they get their. Aarp membership that. I was like. Oh wow yeah. I guess in any case in that time of practice. I've had a bunch of times. Where what i knew and what i really heard the patient telling me. It just didn't match so you know. I'm seeing a little girl in my practice. Who had asthma. And she had What we call mild persistent asthma. So she has it on the regular not only when she gets ill or when she exercises but but it shouldn't have been very bad and she was ending up in the emergency room a couple of times on month. She wasn't getting admitted but she was they. They had to tweeter what it wasn't getting better and they come in for their post. Er visit human regularly for their visits. We talked about the medicines. Mom told me what medicines the kiddo is taking it match what. I thought she should be taking what i heard. And with the dachshund er hurdle winner imaging showed and her pulmonary function tests showed and yet they were still landing in the emergency department a couple of times a month so i asked if i could come over and she said yes and i got to the house and this mom who had four kids under six at. I saw her before my patients. I was there at seven thirty in the morning. Which if you've ever had kids that age you know is already two hours into your day. And i got there. And she was dressed beautifully. I mean really like she was going out for a very fancy evening and but but the house was a disaster and it sort of showed me that like she was trying to show me that you did arrest get ready for this visit in a way that like she knew it was important to her but her house felt beyond her control. Her home was A lot of noise in a lot of casts and a lot of piles of things everywhere. And as i walked in her. The girl that i was there to see who has just under six was waiting with her but the three boys who were all foreign under. We're back in the kitchen and she hurts yelling and she invited me back. We went back and they had dumped a big a big olive oil container out on the kitchen floor and were having an ice skating time of their lives and so as we were and so her daughter and i walked back to her living room area so i could sit down and talk to her and i noticed that the machine that she was meant to be using for her twice a day preventive breathing treatments was inequality on top of some books and then under a whole stack of magazines with dust and i looked at it and i looked at the mom and she said i know i know. That's what she uses. But you know she doesn't want to sit. It takes twenty five minutes to do that. She said she doesn't want to sit for that long unless i sit with her. But if i sit with her you see what happens with my younger sons. And i just. I don't know what to do so we talked it out and her daughter loves to draw so we found a coloring book in the house. And said okay. You get to use this coloring book. This is a really special coloring book. And it's got some beautiful pictures and you get to pick whichever one you want to color. You can only color it while you're doing your treatment you're gonna see me in two weeks. Will you bring me fourteen beautiful pictures and her mom even sat in. If you know if you do that that will go to the dollar store after that. Visit and pick out a new car. Sure and she was in and it wasn't just that strategy. It was that conversation it was that i get it and i can say to that mom totally get it. I also have four kids. Pretty close together so i was genuinely able to say. Oh yeah it is impossible to sit with one child. Twenty five minutes twice a day. When i hadn't thought to ask about those details when we were my office and when i get to the house if he can instantly obvious that there was some sort of logistic barrier here that child is now much older years and years older and has never been in the hospital again for asthma because it wasn't asthma. That was that bad. It was just trying to figure out the mechanics of getting her what she needed while the other kids got what they need. It's it's really about especially when you meet people in their home you're meeting them on their turf and you're you get a glimpse into their life and what's really going on with them and it can make people feel really vulnerable and you have to be incredibly respectful. So i'll give you another very small example. I in my practice call every single person eighteen and over by sort of honorific and their last name. And i'm i'm pretty stubborn about it. You know. I have some patients who've been seeing me for a decade and a half or more and they say please call me by my first name and i try to remember because that's their preference but i would on purpose because there's so much of a power differential when a patient walks in the room they are the seeker and the provider is the giver and like the store and that power differential isn't good for anybody's health. It's not good for my health without much pressure on me right where i'm above you and i see all know all and also it's a lie i don't see all i don't know all so everything i can do to equal up that power differential. I also don't wear a white coat and get away with it. Because i don't i see kids and so everybody knows it's not great to white coat when you see kids but i really think if i'm dressed professionally whether that's scrubs or address nicely and i have a stethoscope around my neck. People know who i am. And what i do. So i don't need to many trappings and those trappings really often make. Patients feel less than such an interesting realization and a practical way to keep everybody in some ways on the same level. Not struggling with the power dynamic. What do you wish that people understood about your role in healthcare. Did i just ask you that. You did not okay. I see why maybe it feels like already answered it. But i don't think they did. So what i wish people understood. Is that well. It is in part what. I did already say that i am an expert opinion. I'm not the decision maker. the buck doesn't stop with me. And and i really mean this in the most resilient way i will fail with every one of my patients everybody dies so there is a combination the team quantity which i'm all about and quality of life and the work that i do outside. My house center is all about helping people have the skills they need to get from getting better to actually having a feeling of well being and it turns out that that gap is filled in by resilience and resilience is not just grit or your ability to power through a difficult situation and not lose it. Resilience is your ability to navigate change and come through the kind of person you want to be and what i wished people understood. Is that my goal. My job as i see it is to help people navigate the changes that their circumstances and their lives and their bodies and their genetics and their environment put them through and help them come through it. The kind of person they want to be a very very powerful statement. What excites you about the future of healthcare medical students and nurse practitioner students. Pa students every time. I work with a student and i. I really do believe that. We are already seeing this shift when i was in medical school twenty years ago. Twenty one years ago but now almost no one is going into medicine because it is financially secure career. They're not going into it to make money punch a time card be be rich right vets. Just almost any age. That was a lot of people's motivation. I'm not saying there was somebody with a calling. That people didn't know it would be hard or hear about people but there was this idea that you should expect a lot of fiscal wellbeing on the flip side and that's been pretty much debunked right so we know that the amount of debt that you rack up compared to the amount of money that you make it does not turn into new cars in pensive occasions. All the time. And as much as i think that the way we pay for medical training is broken and the way we pay for health care is broken. That's a different topic. What excites me is that we do still have tons of people going into this career as a first or a second or third career saying i want to help people be as well as they can. I think that you really hit on a key there. It's the difference between saying. I wanna make a lot of money or the difference in saying i want to help people. I want to make a difference in people's lives because really i think it flips it around because if it's about me making a lot of money then i go into this career for me if it's about me helping people i'm going into this career for the people that that are coming into the office. If that makes any sense what is one thing. Medical professionals can start doing today to improve. The quality of healthcare can start by walking into the room with their patients. And saying how would you like me to address you. Wow tell me. Tell me more. About how that fits. It's a super simple super practical. What does that do in your professional opinion. In my opinion it is really medical term. it defibrillators the relationship. Right from the start. It shocks it into a new rhythm. I'm expecting to as a patient. I'm expecting to have to fight to tell you my story. I'm expecting to have to advocate for myself. Maybe against you that you're going to be a barrier. To when i think i need so if i start off by asking you something non-judgmental that you know the answer to that you don't have to dig real deep for how. What would you like to be called. And an i established myself as someone who is asking your consent for something that is really important to us how were referred to than i am approaching you as a knowledgeable adult but i am approaching you as a pure. It's interesting to as a training video done several years ago. I say several a lot number of years ago about like the ten commandments of dealing with people with disabilities. And i think in there. One of the things was keeping consistency. About how you address everyone which you mentioned already so when you have someone with an intellectual disability who comes in and even though there are thirty five years old everybody refers to them as jimmy and not as mr smith if that makes any sense. Where you're saying. Let me like what's your preference. How do we keep this on the outer. We share this. Make this a place where you feel comfortable and empowered and you're being referred to in a way that makes you feel good about yourself. Listen dr g thank you so much for being here i really. I appreciate your perspective on healthcare. Thanks for listening to perspectives on healthcare. Visit perspectives on healthcare dot com to learn more about rob oliver or to subscribe. So you never miss an episode. If this podcast was valuable we'd appreciate a review on itunes. Or if you tell a friend or coworker about the show that would be helpful to join us again next time for more perspectives on health care.

rob oliver pit medical school deborah gilboa dr parks asthma pittsburgh kherson american academy of family phy kanter pennsylvania Pennsylvania maria Aarp Rob dr g mr smith jimmy
Personal Branding for Storytellers with Kristen Hartnagel (#64)

The Storytellers Network

44:46 min | 2 years ago

Personal Branding for Storytellers with Kristen Hartnagel (#64)

"We don't have to worry about what's wrong with the world. If were just committed to being part of what's right with the world because what's wrong will follow? A it eventually is going to be seen through for what it is. Because we can feel that that's really what storytelling is all about. And we have been burned. So were little more skeptical. We kinda don't take the same risks because we see through that. And and so when you are giving in a way that people can feel that's what's going. That's all we have to worry about is just keeping it real. From cave. Drawings to family histories, two stories around the fire, humans crave. Order among chaos connection amid isolation. So we tell stories our mission at the storytellers network is to bring the art of story to the masses. Whether you're in marketing, you're an entrepreneur, or you're developing your own personal brand telling your story effectively can make the difference between celebrating milestones and collecting unemployment. The storytellers network strives to help storytellers tell their stories so you can learn from the best now your host the inbound evangelist himself, Dan Moyle, welcome to the podcast storytellers network oil, and I'm your host. And I believe firmly the power stories that's gonna come through in this episode, whether it's personal connections. Whether it's biz business networking, storytelling as what connects us in separates us from all other life on earth whereabouts. The dive into yet another amazing story with. Tiller who just blew will, blah or socks. All right. But before we do a quick reminder that my website has great resources available past episodes contact information for me, you'd visit the storytellers network dot com for all that. And if your new text the word storytellers, two three one nine nine six to subscribe to the show as three one nine nine six just text storytellers. You'll get an auto response will have you all set up to subscribe. Now, today's guest is Kristen Hart angle, and the this this quote from her Lincoln beige will say it all for you. But I'll tell you about about her as well be a magnet that a megaphone. And she says it in the interviews if you catch it, but I love that idea. And if you follow in the storytellers network at offer a little while, you know, that I'm also that the inbound of Angeles that magma thing that is absolute what I what I believe in firmly. So so Kristen she's a branding coach personal brand strategist working for brand builders group. I love their mission. That personal brand strategy firm for influencers entrepreneurs their services are designed to clarify your positioning. Expand your reach and increase your revenues very directed. Very just make sense, right? Chris has been a professional trainer and speaker for years and Spiring others from the stage. And that's part of why buy her out of the show for the season of inspirational storytellers. Also, she's here to offer a little insight into how to craft your personal brand as a storyteller just some great tips almost like a master class. What it feels like? So I think he'll get a lot out of this one my favorite line from her Lincoln profile, though out of all of them. She is leading a movement to help people release the past live in the presence and take charge of their future. Just happens to be a singer songwriter. I'd say it staff say she's storyteller. Let's find out and get the Kristen stories. Kristen thank you so much for joining me on the storytellers network. It is a pleasure to have you here. How are you today? I am so fine. And I really appreciate the opportunity, Dan. Absolutely. I'm excited because when we connected, and I realized how much you do four storytellers and and especially in this season of inspirational storyteller. I thought it's gonna be great to have you on some advice. But also, then I got to know you a little bit more and learn about you and your inspirational storyteller as well. So this is going to be great. I'm excited. To now. Let me ask you. I assume you consider yourself storyteller. Right. I do because I'm a song writer, and as a parent you kind of paint the picture for your children and with sales air painting pictures, all the time for your prospects in your clients. And yeah, I can't think of anybody who really isn't a storyteller. Maybe they don't know it. But I think everybody is to I hear that. Sometimes like, I'll ask that people will say, oh, I guess, I am I didn't think about it. But I think we all are do you do you know, where that kind of started for you where you recognize that? You know, my mom would read a book to me. And my sister every night, and she would sing to us every night, and I turned around and read stories to my kids and sang to them every night. So I think that really came naturally, plus I love movies, and it's fun to get lost in books. And so I think when you're absorbing it on the intake it really makes it kind of natural more natural anyway to to give it back. So that's kind of how it started. And I love the idea of starting when your read too I did that with my daughters, and we're reading family, so it's at in its as I mean, it is natural. But it's also taught because of that. So that's that's cool to hear that you said songwriter. So let's dive into that a little bit. How how do you see songwriting as part of who you are? Is it kind of a hobby is who you are professionally as both if you do. So many things as a storyteller what does music into that for you. It's fascinating to me. Because almost everything could be a song. I can see color I can see car and because my sister, and I are both singer songwriters. It were constantly calling one another saying wrote a song wanna hear it here goes and just thing into each other on the phone and inspiration is just everywhere. You look really the. How is that journey? Ben for you. Then I mean, when you say singer-songwriter, I know the answer this, let's give it to the listeners. It's not just in your garage garage band. I used to have a guitar over here that I let my brother borrow play a little bit base only for myself, basically, it's more than that for you though. Kherson right. I mean, you like you've got some some stories there. Right. I wrote my first song at like twelve or thirteen and it was one of those deep hiding love songs that Chritine cz. Yeah. And and so sometimes it's like I want to write a song about something. And I try but more often than not it's almost like this gift that's given to me in the form of a complete idea or an inspiration to write a song about in in in a few cases. It's even felt like download like it came from somewhere other than me. But here's a song in its entirety in better get it down or it's gone. So it's kind of fun that way. Absolutely. And what is it that moves you to to do that? What do you get out of songwriting as storytelling platform? As opposed to just telling stories, I guess, maybe. We'll yeah. I news it to me communicates at the level of the soul. It kind of bypasses the thinking mind, so when I'm speaking if I'm delivering like a keynote if I can do a keynote concert and find a song that's going to amplify or a line with the message. I know my audience is going to get it at levels that they might not if I were just speaking. Because when somebody is speaking our minds, kind of go and believe that or do I not believe that? But a song you kind of feel an in. So it kind of circuits that part of it. People. Remember, how you make them feel so much more than what you say. Right. No doubt about it. That's my stories are so important because they really kind of helped tap into the way, you're feeling absolutely at. So. So you've got your your son writing career, I'm gonna link in the show notes to YouTube channel, I was in a couple of songs love it. A lot of fun. It's it is cool to like, I'm a creative person. But I don't consider myself. I'm not a singer. You don't wanna hear that? I've written poetry over the years kinda like that. Pre teen angst. To see it now. But but I love to see the behind the scenes of that sharing that how do you? How do you go see said, you can sometimes right things you see rain everywhere. You've downloaded do you have a particular way that you write for music in order to tell a story or is it just kind of depend on the on the the muse at the time. You know, what I I love make leave. And I remember learning that the mind doesn't know the difference between observing something like you're watching a movie or reading a book or when you're experiencing it. And so for me songwriting is another avenue to help tap into that can I make somebody can I a moat or can I convey something so strongly that people will have any motion an emotional reaction. In fact, one of my like when I go into meditation before I go out in perform or give a keynote part of what I'm saying is, you know, guide the words that I say because I really want is to touch their heart into move them in connect with them in a way. So sometimes I have to go back and listen to what I said as don't really even remember it does feel like when you surrender and kinda get out of your. Your own way, that whatever they need comes through you and that's net. So beautiful when it can happen that way. So songwriting is very much like that for me. Do you take that idea and share that with like your clients, for instance, as you're teaching people how to be, you know, better storytellers expand their reach clarify positioning do use that feeling language with them to absolutely. And so part of as a personal brand strategist part of helping people know how to get clear on their message. So that they can be a magnet not a megaphone when we try to appeal to the whole world we end up appealing to nobody. So we need to find a way to cut through the noise and find a way to articulate what makes you different than everybody else out there. So when we get into the way, you're making your clients feel when you can climb inside the mind of say, your ideal client or an avatar and really know the problem you solve for them. Then everything that comes through your messaging is connecting with them emotionally. And it is more. It's going to resonate with them and attract them more. So a lot of it is about emotion. Because man, we Sally Hogshead said it really, well, we can't all be better different is better than better. Let's find out what makes you different. And what makes you connect with people and really highlight that to kind of bring it all into alignment, absolutely. And I heard similarly from somebody that I follow Christopher Lockhead. Follow your different used to be legends and losers podcast, Saint on niche down or niche down and GATT, it you can't everyone is that that are. Free people to here. You can't be everything to everyone when you get into this. Personal branding. I would say when when we talk to people who are in that entrepeneurship launch space. Like, I know that I have this passion on my heart that the world needs. It can sometimes feel like we're pouring cold water on when we say, let's really narrow it down. So that you can become known as the go-to person in this space because if we are trying to do everything then we end up just getting lost. There's this philosophy we call Sheehan's wall. And if we're trying to be all things to all people were just more noise just bounce right off that wall. So we can just narrow it down to that thing that you can do that. Nobody else can do like you can then you can break through that wall. And once you've broken through that wall, you get to expand your reach, and you get to curate that audience and find other ways to serve them. So Oprah said sometimes we have to do what we have to do until we get to do what we wanna do. And that that can kinda frustrating. You're right to reel it back a little bit. I in another thing too that I think I wonder if people have a hard time with is that as much as I get it. And I think a lot of listeners do some might be sitting there thinking this sounds a lot like just just kind of Hanky like like Rena corns and rainbows and peace and love, and how do you can can you kind of combine a little bit of that like deep thinking high level kind of emotional stuff with like statistics. Basically. I mean, can you combine those two world is that how you guys do that? Well, sure, so number one, I think the best way to think of it is. There's logic. There's like the art and the science and the art would be your external messaging what the world sees what you are offering. And then there's how to logically look at. If you're going to create an engine for automation, if you're going to create a product that can be a digital whether it's a video series or a membership. How do you create the automated behind that? And then if you're driving people to your website, it's a numbers game, are you willing, and can you pay to drive people to your website and the new once you kind of know, the mass of reverse engineering, how many people does it take to get onto your page in order for them to watch a webinar, and how many people have to get through this part of the webinar before they go to the vying page in all of that. So it there is an ardent science to it. And I think that it goes well beyond the dream stage to creating a structure and a roadmap and then having kind of a guide hold your hand through. The implementation because there's a lot of different information out there in the last thing, we want to do is just give a bunch more information say good, Lexi later, we're really interested in in helping make sure that people are taking those ideas in actually applying them doing exercises implementing that. So that's really how ho you Kristen. But also how the brand builders group set yourself apart. That sounds like is not only through story and inspiring. But also through actually working with folks that right, absolutely. I think we come by the story part, very naturally. One of our co-founders Rory Vaden is a New York Times bestselling author and wrote take the stairs. Did that Ted talk that you shared on Lincoln called how to multiply time and as a young man, he knew he wanted to be a motivational speaker? So he was like number two in the international Toastmasters championship. And. Now that he's kind of done what his dream was it his passionate and therefore our whole teams passion to help shorten the learning curve. So other people can do it. Whether it's speaker or a coach or a consultant or even a fitness trainer. Anybody who has that enterpreneurial spirit? There is a methodology to taking it from the space of an idea into a viable business. And if a lot it's a lot there so much that needs to happen. That's why you can read all the books that we read intact alimentary that helped us, but it would shorten the learning curve to partner with somebody who can kind of walk through that so storytelling NFL go right there hand in hand. Credibly fascinating. Now if so Irois giving back this is what you all do scientists. There's the courses online. There's a free course people can test it out. But if you were to say, okay. If you were to start a one hour masterclass with someone we're not to go into everything right now. But if you were to start a one hour masterclass where would you encourage storytellers to start in order to find that voice and unruly clarify? Their message it to me it all starts with understanding. What problem do I solve? And so when I ask people that typically they go into all of the benefits. Well, when people work with me, they get this this this this this in it. I let I want them to get that all out because it's great to know all the benefits that working with you are going to provide your clients, but benefits are not the same as a problem. So we almost wanna take each benefit that you listed and think about what is the inverse of that because in left I can make somebody feel that they need me. I am just. Part of the noise. So we need to break free from talking about the benefits to talking about the problem. And articulating a new way that people can feel. Oh my gosh. How did she know? It's like she crawled inside my head. I need her solution. So if we can get clear on how do I communicate the problem that I solve? So let's take a fitness instructor as an example. There are fitness instructors who are wanting people to get their strength fat. So that they can live like they used to. There are fitness instructors who want people to eat. Well, and have a sound body fitness instructors who want help you lose weight. So we don't want these fitness instructors to just be drowning in the sea of fitness instructors, get really clear on why should somebody work with you over any other fitness instructor. And so what problem are you specifically solving and. And the biggest challenges can you get that down to one word? So is it pain? Is it time like I have ten minute workout. So it's going to save you time. And so this really isn't something that we can do in an hour. It something that really there's an exercise to kind of pull it out and look at it differently. And look at a different angle in really work at down until we get the problem that you solve that doesn't mean you're gonna start marketing the problem that you saw. But if you know, the problem you solve it now becomes a filter through which all of your other messaging is is put through it's like the litmus test. And if you do know the problem you solve it also helps you tell the story better. That's that's a lot of work. I keep thinking about you know, what what I do as a marketer. What I think I do in what problems problems I solve. But but a sounds like what you're talking about. His don't think of all the problems. You saw think of the one problem you saw really well. All right. You got it. You got it. Now, there's a whole brand DNA helix that we work people through. So the first question is what problem do you Saul? But it's married with kind of weighed against what am I passionate about? Because just because I saw the problem. Do I see myself solving that for the next ten to fifteen years, and if I'm not passionate about solving that problem for people than I don't wanna build a business around it? So we wanna kinda way those out and in the second set of questions would be what have you researched or what are you an expert in now, some people kinda shy away. I don't wanna call myself in expert, but you know, we kind of have to own that. If I am saying, I know something, and I want to draw people to me. Don't have to kind of own the fact that I know something that I want to impart to them. And so what have I researched, and then you have two ways that against what have I experienced? What do I have results in? So I spend my time researching this, but haven't we all had experience with somebody who can walk who can talk the talk. But we don't feel like they've walked watt. So it has to be what have I researched, and what do I have results in whether that's your life experience or the results that you're getting with clients. So those two kind of need to be weighed against one another. And then it's how do you monetize that? So the third set of questions is what would people buy from you? And then just because somebody would buy it from you does not mean, that's the kind of business you wanna be suivant away. What would people buy from you against what kind of business? Do you wanna be in? That helps us know. Is it gonna be you as a survey? This. You're gonna go out there and coach or you're gonna start speaking or start training, or is it going to be more of an online product. Or is it enemy a combination of both? We went to think through a primary business model. And then maybe what's up. Maybe a longer term lotta times a coach will think that's it. I'm just a coach within as we go through this together. They realize you know, what I could do this online kind of education reach a lot more people and keep coaching but make that more of an elite higher end kind of product. And that way, I'm able to serve win were people and still do what I love to do does that make sense. But I just wanted because I've seen that can happen with some folks, it's very interesting. And it's not something that I think like you said, Chris the nominee people think about I'm coach, I'm just a consultant. I'm just a like you can do so much more. You've got so much. Good stuff and so much to offer. A new certainly feel like the expert, and I think you aren't how how did you get to that point as a as a storyteller, your singer-songwriter sounds like you've got some really cool passions? But in this business world menu. You you've got some experiences some chops. How did you get to that? How did you get to that point? I guess as their whole for everybody. My gosh, absolutely. First of all, I surround myself with people who know more than I do and if you can do that. And just learn as much as you can possibly learn that's a great way to to be a master or to keep improving, and there's really it's like that KYW's on that continual improvement. There is no finish line. And so wanting to to know more, and so that's really what you spend time. Researching you spend time researching how to build a personal brand and how to break through the noise in how to expand your reach in how to improve your reputation is of. People don't know about you. They can't do business with you. So I would say that I would say in Susie as umn just I know that it's hard work. But I I love what I do when my formations is. Actually, I do what I love. And I love what I do and everything I touch turns to and so when you just kinda have that attitude it really it really helps, but I've worked with these people in other capacities in. So it's the people that I choose to work with. And then whatever it is. We want to do I know we're capable of doing it because we've worked together before. So I think that's a good thing. Surround yourself with good people. Absolutely. I heard someone say once relationships are the ultimate currency and not that you needed cash them in in take from people. But but they are the ultimate currency. I mean, the more people strong yourself with more opportunities com. So that's that's great advice. You got it. So only about a little bit of your personal storytelling and professional your storytelling part of it. What do you find as one of the biggest challenges to storytelling Stanage? You know, I would say the challenge comes from. Making sure you're being real making sure that you're tuned in and present with who you're talking to because we can all be in our own heads and thinking about what we're going to say next and. I think if we're really listening than we're more out of we kinda get out of our own way, we allow it you know, that authenticity to flow through. When we get out of our own way. So the challenge to storytelling is having too much of an agenda not being real that. We're is used a lot right now, especially marketing, but it really does come down to that who you are authenticity. I mean, it is it's a buzzword for reason. I guess right. Like, it's real here. Right. And I think I've had a lot of people who go don't use that anticipate word again. But it it boils down to can people feel your heart can people feel that you mean what you say. And that your true, you believe you believe what you say, you know, not it's more important that you believe what you say than it is that anybody else does. But if you truly believe what you say in that can be felt, and I think that that's what Ford about being a good storyteller. Is that you're getting that message across in a way that connects with people emotionally, especially when solo preneurs? You are kind of the face of your own brand will get you. Don't believe it, right. And and you know, I look at two there are consumers who have transactions, and that's fine. You know, I don't have to have a relationship with. Let's say Coca Cola to buy a coke. It's just transaction. But they're still relationship there with that brand. And then with other things we do business with those whom we get to know like and trust. And so that entity again comes through in that comes through in our stories, so got it. Well, and why do you think that a Coca Cola would want a celebrity endorser somebody to, you know, hold the battle in drink a people if they want to relate they want their buyers consumers to relate to that person because people do business with people more than they do business with businesses. And that's why branding is just the buzzword because everybody's understanding if I can put a face to this. If I can put something real that people can relate to it is. More than just a business. So I guess elaborately endorsements work, and we want to really kinda put a face to the people that we're going to know like entrust, right? So for the storytellers that aren't the don't have the Coca-Cola budget. We can't have those celebrities. How do storytellers what we talked a lot about branding? And I think we probably have kind of answered this. But I kinda wanna ask it this way to how do those storytellers best understand what branding really is. Because it's not just a logo. I got a cool logo. That says Dan whale professional speaker is so much more than that. Right. Yeah. In fact, branding is like a conceptual word in its word that is misunderstood. I mean, people make assumptions that brand builders group is going to help you design your logo or is going to tell you what your website should look like. And actually, specifically brand builders group doesn't do anything with design at this point. We're really all about the messaging. So when somebody is thinking about what is branding mean for me. It's how do I stand out? So that people are drawn to me for what I do that's different than anybody else out there competing in my space, and to be honest, most people at first they don't know, they don't know, what makes them different. That's what they're struggling with their like, I am just another fitness instructor, for example, or I why should somebody hire me to speak at their. Venue than any other speaker out there. And if you don't know what makes you different than how is anybody else going to choose you. That's the work that we wanna help people do is climbing side pull things out do some exercises that are kind of it's more than self reflection. In fact, one of the clients that will be working with at the end of January. He he actually owns his own marketing firm, and he said, Kristen I do this all day every day with my own clients. But I wouldn't dream of doing it for myself because I'm way too close to it. I I know that I would be giving you answers, and I don't know if those are the right answers. So I need to be challenged. I need somebody to pull it apart. And look at it from different angles to really help figure that out, and that's what personal branding is. When it comes to the work that we do people. So you could help a marketer market himself. Yeah. Does it take certain a certain level of ego to be able to say those things like I'm an expert? You should hire me over somebody else's who I am. Or is it is it less eagle and just more confidence. Can there be ego? And humility together that's an interesting way to think about that. And I think that there are many people who kinda shy away we actually changed our question. It used to be what are you an expert in? But so many people had that reaction. Whoa. I don't wanna claim to be an expert. It really helped us go. There is a confidence issue here. I mean, honestly, how dare we claim to have something that we want people to buy from us if we're not going to own that we have something that they don't know. So I don't have the right to ask people to work with me. If I don't believe I know something or I have some information that could help them. So we do have to step into our power. We have to have the confidence we have to have we have to have put in the time. We can't fake it. So if there are egomaniac site, there are people who are claiming to be experts. And maybe that's why we're so shy. We've all been burned by somebody who claimed to be an expert and really wasn't. So we need to put in the time to do the research and to know our stuff and to get the experience, and that's what really helps us. So we have this reputation formula reputation is is who knows about you. So reputation can be both good and bad. So we want to be known, but we also have to. Have results. And so you could have the results of Mother Theresa. But if nobody knows about you, nobody can do business with you. So that's why both are important. So I repetitious formula says results times reach equals reputation. So it's the reach having the results having people be know who you are being known in that space is the go-to person. That's what equals there up you take action and having that reach is important, but it's more than just having followers on Twitter. It's it's having actual interaction. I would guess how do we build that? In this noisy world today. You know, I think that is really part of what makes the methodology. It's not the brand builders way. It certainly not, you know. The Rory Vaden way it is giving something of value for free to to the people who you know, needed who are out there. So that they notice you, and when you're willing when you're not when you kind of come from that abundance mentality instead of scarcity mentality, then you know, that if I'm willing to give it away I'm going to get the attention of the people who need me, and they're actually going to scratch their heads and say, why are you willing to give this such valuable content away for free? And it's because well now we've just scratched the surface and you've noticed us, but they're so much more. What else can we do to serve you? How else can we help? So when it comes to the noise of social media. I would say what we commonly see is people saying here are my top three tips for blah, blah, blah. And so the average. Goes. Well, thanks for the tip. But they don't notice you enough to be engaged in wanna come back. What would be more effective is? Let's say you make a six minute video. And you spend the first half of the video describing the problem. Then you spend the second half of the video offering the solution will the first half of the video is what makes people go. Oh my gosh. How did sheets like she climbed inside my head, and then they really need this Aleutian. And that is how we are more genuine on a social media is that we're articulating what we do in a way that resonates with the people who are going to be an hour core target audience, and then we give them information. And then we invite them to come back. Follow me on Instagram connect with me on lengthen. And if you like this sign up for my free, video course, and that's the way to. Really engage in audience and get them to love what you're offering and want more. Speaking got my head get out of my head because I love we we're so allowed Chris, and this is what I've been screaming about for the last eight years, or whatever it's been been doing marketing is. We have all seen this coming. And and there's room for the people who are doing what you're saying. Exactly. There's room for those people even in the sea of all the I'm gonna rental amber Guinea, and this really nice apartment in New York show. You that I'm rich. I can make you rich people. Yeah, they're faking, and that's a that's okay. It's it's the world, but the authentic storytellers and entrepreneurs in people that you're working with professionals are just there's room for them. So the stars. I was listening. There's room for you. Right. Here is definitely room for you. And we'll have to worry about what's wrong with the world. If we're just committed to being part of what's right with the world because what's wrong will follow away. It eventually is going to be seen through for what it is. Because we can feel that that's really what storytelling is all about. And we have been burned. So were little more ethical. We kinda don't take the same risks because we. See through that. And and so when you are giving in a way that people can feel that's what's going. That's all we have to worry about is just keeping it real. Absolutely. How did how do you see over your experience? And also as a as a songwriter, and everything that you do how do you see social media affecting the craft of storytelling has made a better worse. What's done to us? You know in a good way. We can let the world know about the parts of our lives that really do make us who we are. Like, the singer songwriter me, the parent me, the volunteer me hiker me more than just who. I am at work. So I think social media has I mean, it used to be the company would look at your social media to see if you've been a good person or a bad person to see if they're going to hire you or not. But smart companies now are looking at your following and your engagement because they know that. You if you love your job, you're gonna be boasting about it. And that's going to be casting nets that they could never have cast without you. And so I think companies are getting really lit up by authentic engagement on social media. But in a bad way, I think social media can be hurtful because we can be so cruel to one another. It's it's so much easier to just crush someone and not take responsibility for that. Because you couldn't feel the pain. They were feeling as it was so remote. So I think there's good and bad. But again, if we're part of the solution, not part of the problem, it helps kinda take care of that. That's a good way to combat as to be part of the good. Yeah. I mean as with anything, and I've heard this set about social media as well as anything tool can be positive or not gonna hammer can build or destroy. Be able to use the right way. So. Race stuff. Chris. I I I love it. What else would you say to a storyteller just star starting out? What would you say to encourage them to keep at it? When they're in that midst of I don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm not I'm not a national speaker yet. I'm not an entrepreneur who's been featured in Inc magazine. Maybe I should just go back to my old job or whatever. It is. Right. What would you encourage them with? Wow. That really reminds me of a song. See everything reminds me of us out bears. There are two lines from the song. I want you to feel the way each line makes you feel. So the first is ships are safe within the harbour doesn't that kinda make it feel tucked in? But the second line is. But is that what ships are for in doesn't it just go right between the eyes? No ships are not meant to be safe in harbor ships are meant to take on. See the scene when it's common inviting and the sea when it's raging with uncertainty. And I think we cheat ourselves when we play it safe. I mean in my own life. I had what I would call like, a spiritual nudging like a little tap on the shoulder. You were meant for more. You should be doing something different. You know, what you were born to do I've placed this on your heart. If it wasn't placed on your heart. You wouldn't be feeling this way kinda got louder and louder until it was like this two by four upside the head, and honestly, what happened was it was like I'm gonna take away everything that feels safe to you. So you will finally do what you were born to do. Okay. Have no choice. And I think we don't need to wait for that. I think we need to trust ourselves more. I think if we have this calling to be of service. It is the calling that only. You can fulfill and if we just stay with our nine to five and stay safe. It's almost like say thanks for the gift, but I'm going to ignore it and keep doing this over here. And we can't do that forever without it chipping away at our self respect. Gregor's 'cause my love it. If if somebody would sell you tomorrow that you can no longer tell stories what last story would you wanna go out on. Well. The story. I would wanna go out on his again, a very. Soul searching deep thinking story that moved me. Have you heard of Neil Donald Walsh to wrote conversations with God. I've heard the conversation of God. Yeah. Yeah. He wrote a children's book, and the children's book is called the little soul and the sun. And so I remember when I read this book, I thought if I had all the money in the world, I would want to put this book in every person's hand because it really does kind of remove the veils of what we judge. So if I could tell that story in a nutshell, it's basically when we're up there in heaven getting ready to come down here to earth. We're talking to God about what we wanna be. And this one little Seoul says, oh, I know. I know I wanna be forgiveness and God laughs a little and says, they're they're little soul. How could you possibly be forgiveness? When there's none. Nothing to forgive and the little soul goes shoot. I really wanted to be forgiveness. Oh, well, I'll go back and think of something else to be. But then another little soul runs up and says, I know I know I'll be something that you can forgive. So that you can be forgiveness. And God said, wow, that's a great idea. So this little soul who's offering this help says so here's the deal. I'll go down and do something so dark, and so terrible that you will get to go down and experience yourself as for give nece won't that be amazing. But I just have one to ask when I do this terrible thing. Don't forget who I really am. Because I might get so lost in the role. I don't wanna forget I might need you to help me. Remember? Isn't that a powerful story? That's amazing. I love that goosebumps operated the deep one it's a deep one. But it's all about who are we to judge and we're all innocent. And it just as a matter of perspective. And you know, that's what my life is all about. That's fantastic. That's that's a great story to go onto you Christmas. Absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for making time for the storyteller network for having me, Dan absolutely now all include some links to the show notes. But is there any particular place? It's best to find you. Well, I do have Lincoln, and we have a brand builders group Facebook as well as a website. There is a way to sign up for a free. Video course on first steps to famous to help, you know, how to be more known in your space. And so we'll put a link up for that. That would be great to get to know your listeners out there absolute we'll do that for sure what's again. An absolute pleasure. Thank you Semite. Stand. Have a great rest of your evening. So there haven't Kristen heartening. Thank you so much for coming on. The show you can connect with her at the links in the shown on there's plenty of their. If you enjoyed the episode, and you think somebody else can benefit from it. Please consider sharing sharing caring throw it up on social media Instagram linked in Facebook, wherever you spend your time tech someone. However, you get it to them really appreciate that. And if you want to share your story with me or connect go to the storytellers network dot com at the contact Dan button on the contact page. Some Email let me know what you love about the show, and let's have a conversation until next time. Here's telling our stories having stories to tell cheers.

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Experiencing Grief and Hope: Guest  Kristen Rademacher

James Miller | Lifeology

29:30 min | 1 year ago

Experiencing Grief and Hope: Guest Kristen Rademacher

"Welcome to life algae, I James Miller, your hosts, and a licensed psychotherapist. I'm looking forward to spending this time with you as we learned some pretty amazing life lessons. Let's get started. Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to listen to the show when you're done listening I. Hope you take a minute and right a quick review on whichever radio podcast platform you've heard this show your insights will help others to be inspired and encouraged. I have a great show for you today I'll teach you the stages of grief and how they affect. You also be interviewing Chris Bottom macher reviews her memoir from the Lake House Mothers Odyssey of loss and love that is an achingly honest book about her losses of place partner and her much anticipated baby daughter Carly. This book will inspire and reminds you that painful life situations can transform our lives offering enduring love guidance and hope for more information about Kristen. Please visit Kristen Rodham, Macher DOT COM. You may also purchase your book in your favorite, digital bookstore or in the previous guests products in store at James Miller lifelock dot com. Thank you so much for listening till I follow I would love to connect with you. Be Sure to follow me on all social media platforms under the name James Michener life except for twitter, which is james m life algae I am also very active on instagram increased mini videos with quick tips and tools. You can immediately implement be sure to say hello and follow me there. Stages of grief. We all have experienced some form of grief. A child may experience grief if they lose their favorite toy. A teenager maybe heartbroken from there I love and as we continue to grow older version of what grief looks like and how we grieve starts to evolve. Sometimes, we look at someone else and think we'll why are they grieving? Silly and the reality is how we look at the world and what's important to us determines how much we grieve the five stages of grief are denial anger bargaining, touring depression, and finally acceptance. The difference is not everyone will go through all of these or perhaps may not be aware that they've gone through all five of them and sometimes a little bit out of order. The way the stages work or denial. That one's pretty straightforward. We can't believe something happened. Someone tells us something and it's so hard for us to fathom that it just doesn't register with us. We don't understand the severity of what just happened. If it's a break-up, we think that person's just upset the next day they'll talk with us and if you have a job loss, perhaps HR messed up and they'll give you a call back tomorrow and reinstate your position. stage. Two is anger our perception about everything around us has a lens of anger. We feel like it's not fair. We feel like we've been victimized. We feel like we've done all these things people and adjust didn't work or we become angry with God and we use that anger is fuel to sometimes just hold it together. The next stage is bargaining. Bartering when it comes to bargaining if the person is alive or you're able to talk to that person, you will try and bargain with them or barter with them to return back to what was the norm before. But if that person isn't there, you reflect back on what you could have done differently, that would have changed it would have changed the outcome. Stays four is depression and that's where the person becomes more quiet more internal and they fully experienced that loss and their minds I is clouded with that sadness that profound loss because that's all they can feel no, they can see and they revisit that particular loss or how it came about. And the last stage is acceptance. Now that doesn't mean that it feels like it's a happy ending. Oh, I accept that this happened. So therefore, I'm good. Now it's more the sense of the perspective you have about it if it's a break-up. Recognizing in the long run perhaps that was the best result for you the loss of a job understanding that there are more options for you the death of a loved one focusing on what you had with that person as opposed to what you no longer have. That's a way to reframe the situation. So once again, it does not minimize anything you've lost it just helps. You understand how to process it that particular event is no longer in your life for its past and I say that respectfully because as we all know, grief is so painful. The reason why I wanted to teach this lesson today is it's important to recognize what stage of grief you're in. Because when you recognize that it helps you be aware of how you interact with. The people around you or helps you record is how you're processing the world at the moment or you find that you have so much bitterness in your heart when you speak with people, it affects them as well. Unfortunately, that's not healthy for you or for them. So that's why it's important to be aware of which stages of grief you're in the other part. That's really Important as if you don't allow yourself to grieve than, it will continually fester in your life you may not be aware of it, but it will change the way you look at the world depending on how you feel about that situation, and if it feels like you're always in this depressive state than it is important to talk to someone who could help you through that. I have a fantastic interview today with Christian rocker. She experienced profound grief in her life and she talks about this in her memoir and how these painful situations helped transformer life to find. Hope. So stay tuned. If you're anything like me. You'll love to read life algae and audible dot com have partnered to offer you an incredible. Audible is offering you one free book download with a Free Thirty Day trial. This is perfect for those of you who loved to read, but often don't have time to enjoy your favorite pastime go to James Miller life follow dot com forward slash audible to start your free trial they have over a hundred and eighty thousand books from all genres. So I'm pretty confident your favorite authors books will be there go to James Miller life archie dot com forward slash. And start listening to your favorite book today. Once again, go to James Miller life dot com forward slash audible to get started today. My guest today is author Kristen Rodham, Walker who reviews her memoir from the Lake House, a mother's odyssey of loss and love that is an achingly honest book about her losses of place partner and her much anticipated baby daughter Carly. This book will inspire and remind you that painful life situations can transform our lives offering endure, love and guidance, and hope welcome to my show. Kherson thank you so much for having me. Just, I am really looking forward to this I reviewed your information I was like Holy Moly. There is a lot of emotion here that I can't wait to talk about I'm one who really loves to just delve into that. So I know my listeners really appreciate your shorts Oh. Great. Thank you so much. Well before we get started I, just have a very quick question. What's the difference between a memoir a novel? A novel is is purely fiction. A memoir is It's a retrospective look back on events of one's life with some insight that one shares about those events there's a chronology, there's characters there's there's plot time isn't a memoir, but then the memoirs has the fabulous opportunity to share. Insight to take the sort of Meta look at what was going on during that time. You know that's interesting because I think about that from what I teachers, well as people find that perspective other in a moment or just right after the event or perhaps you know a couple of days later. So I guess in some ways what I teach is how how people? In Vivo, or experiential in the moment memoir. Tab. Cool. I also say that if I were to right and I, think this is probably true for any memoirs. If I were to rewrite this particular memoir, now I might have a different perspective if I were to rewrite it in five years, I might have a different perspective this like organic kind of Writing, based on how you're conceiving of those events at the time of writing it. Wow. That's quite fascinating. I know when you when you wrote your memoir, you were thirty nine years old said about right. Oh. No. I didn't start writing it till I was. Writing it an earnest was probably about forty, five, thirty nine is when I left. Well, that's hurts this because you were. An elementary school teacher I was yeah. For How many years do that? Thirteen years I taught elementary school in new. England and was very happy teaching. I lived outside of Boston for much much of that time and. Had A great. Had a great Gig, and then I heart was just Busted with this boyfriend that I. had been with for a number of years and I really loved him and I just like I really wanted to get married to him like I had this whole picture in my head like he's the one we're GonNa have kids I was going to retire at the school and that just blew apart and. So that. That was that was a while ago I'm over that now but that was the impetus that. That led me if if anyone Sata. heartbreak which we all have. Your sort of like crazy for a while. It's like you're you're allowed to because it's too. Yes brain just goes elsewhere and so in that. Crazy. reeling time of my life I decided. I'm just GonNa leave everything that I love and I started this clearly rebound relationship in North Carolina and and that sort of where the where the memoir. Meet the person North Carolina already up in Boston. When I was in Boston but I had come to North Carolina in the middle of this heartbreak period to visit my brother who lives still lives in North Carolina and he was there at the time. And I came for this Christmas break from my school and I was just like I gotta get Outta here and then you know sauntering into my life was this man who was Freshly divorced or getting divorced. So we were just you know two broke people and. Sometimes broken people think they're just the best thing ever and we did. You know one thing that really well first off, we're GONNA have to blame your brother two brothers falls at all this happen. It but you know we're broken people come together and I use it broken loosely. But when they come together, that becomes a foundation for how their relationship is built on what it's what it's created, and then from that as they grow together, then Sir to heal, and then as a heel, the kind of revert backer become someone different than that broken person was when they first met and so in. That's after wow, when you're like. This person isn't formula. How did I get here and then all of a sudden what was once a healing time of two broken people which could then become codependent as well. Then all of a sudden becomes this time of people who just don't really know each other and often and I say this in a generally generally speaking it doesn't work. Yeah. That's well set, and that's what we weren't even together long enough to become unbroken. You know we we started out broken individually I just love that are foundation was therefore broken and then. By, the time I started to realize. Oh, my Gosh I think I I think I might have made a mistake. I think we're not really the right fit for each other and I'm living in North Carolina I was in this sort of urban life and So by the time I started to question my own thinking is when we became pregnant. Cope. So then this the stress of that you know starting broken at dot kind of stress at just it was it was a real setup. We would not have lasted anyway, but that's certainly did not help us. Definitely when you reflect back on behalf when you're elementary teacher, you wanted to marry this person wanted to retire there I'm assuming wanted to have kids when all of a sudden you found yourself pregnant with. This person how was that for you? Because I'm sure it was bittersweet in some ways. It was that's yet the perfect word. I had always wanted to be a mother. And I. So when I moved to North Carolina I was in my late thirties and I thought if if it happens. You. Know. With this particular person I don't know but I sort of thought the the door the window was really starting to shut down and I had a lot of friends and I write about this in the book who were going through infertility and so in my mind I thought you know Geez it's like it's really hard to get pregnant. Anyway the window was shutting and then when I found out, I was pregnant at felt like this miracle like, wow, I can't believe. That, at my age in this circumstance, I'm pregnant and so part of me was very happy and excited. And then the other part of me went right into worry which was. which was part of the bummer that I brought into that relationship was. You know I'm I'M A. Pretty Season Warrior and I was like, how are we going to make this work? I was always worried about money because. I. I had taken a big pay cut when I left my teaching job. Was Doing and he was struggling financially. So there's just lots of worry upon where upon worry. So while I was pregnant I was like, oh my gosh I'm going to be a mother. This is a dream come true and oh my gosh how am I going to be a mother? Is How are we gonNA do this as a couple? So it was it was really a fraught time bud psychology. That's we have a fancy term called dialectic dialectic basically means you can have two opposing emotions or true posing belief systems existing at the same time. So that's why when we say I love you butts and then you say the other part that that denote or that. That denies that dialectic and so when you say I love you and Blah Blah Blah that means they both exist and so for you experience a dialectic, I'm so happy that I'm pregnant and I'm so excited and also incredibly worried and so that's something. I. Like militias recognizes that it's okay to have opposing emotions because we're so much more complex, and so it doesn't have to be this binary concept of what an opinion is or thought is or belief is they both can exist at the same time. I needed you back. Years ago. was really go through my own break up. Getting. All this is happening. So you have this this idea with this person I probably shouldn't be with this person. I'm now pregnant this exciting How did you navigate what to do next? How did I do that I? Just so I think my wiring is just from solve. I'm just going to problem solve this I'm going to figure it out. You know I, went into heavy duty planning I was imagining so I was My job at the time was just three quarters at the university where I now work and so I was going to have the summer off. So I'm like. We'll have the baby and then I'll take some maternity leave and then we'll have the summer off and then we'll sort of figure out childcare later and in the meantime on GonNa keep kind of managing our finances and he was starting his own business and I'm going to help him. Keep his business going and I'm just sort of take charge on going to be the supermom. I'm going to be the CEO or the CFO and I'm GonNa just you know. Balance All these place. That's somehow someway. That's a keyword somehow someway somehow some way and and of course that didn't work out so I just went into overdrive mental. Planning and thinking. But our our relationship became very strained as as the months went on. Let me ask you this. Oh so as you're planning this, you'll be the CFO. You'll be this'll be that. And you just have this very candidly. But it where is he in the planning process of that? He probably thought I was obnoxious and I probably was you know. I'll just take over. He was. He was really just following my lead and I. I don't mean that in any disrespectful way towards him I think he was also super stressed. He was very very invested in this business that he was starting and I think in his ideal world. That would have been. Firmly planted. Before we were together and it just wasn't that way. So. You know in some ways. Let. Me just say he was very excited to be a father but I think in some ways that business was also the baby earthquake really just wanted that to. To To go so the dynamic was set up where I said don't worry I'll manage and I think she's like okay kind of weird. But if you're going to manage all of our household stuff I'll put my mind to the business and that'll be that'll be my contribution a lot of people who are entrepreneurs like I'm an entrepreneur and when you really. The momentum starts to happen just even the planning process or the germination of that dream or how it plays out at. So time consuming I remember there's been at least for me on a personal note I remember when I started this, I would. have. A go thirteen, fourteen hours a day. Remember Times I look around and like Oh my gosh laid on my house is my computer my dog is sitting here boy where's this food? Oh, my Gosh James snap out of it. So I know from a personal standpoint of how it is not not to minimize obviously your experience but I know as an entrepreneur there's so much that goes into it to get it off off the ground so I can't imagine what it was like to have a broken relationship, my words not yours Burkan relationship. Wanting to start something but also be happy be happy to be a father but there's really no room for all of that unless you make room for it and unfortunately it doesn't sound like that's was what he was able to do and I don't think I was. Because I was so anxious at that time I think I wasn't particularly helpful in terms of. Sort of like the Meta encouragement I was helpful in terms of, let's get the task done. What's your next task? Let's get it done. So I think. I, I know that. Graded on him and and I can I own that and I understand it. Hence, the memoir. This over to the pregnancy, tell me more about the. So the pregnancy as I started to say it was it was a really full time just emotionally because of the. Dial dialectics afterwards. Because of the like the full emotional stuff I was carrying. But I became very. Bonded as as most mothers are with this baby and I was talking to her all the time and I was. Just reassuring her don't worry if you can sense what's happening out here. Don't worry. I'M GONNA. Take care of GonNa Take Care of you. I can't wait to meet you I, have a very fulltime imagination. So I was very much in the future like this year we're GONNA walk. How? This is where you're. You'RE GONNA meet your your cousins and your uncle and. So I was I was very much in my own kind of world like becoming a mom already. It was a very easy pregnancy. I had not I had some. Sort of uncomfortable nausea in the beginning but. In terms of what some mothers go through, I didn't really have any of that I was. I was very healthy and worked very closely with this midwife practice who were connected to the hospital. So. I sort of had checked all the boxes of you know. Good Prenatal care good good everything and And then at the very last. Week or so of being pregnant. Actually no, she was overdue. So it was like my forty first week of pregnancy. So I was waiting for Labor to start. We were both waiting and. And then one morning I just didn't feel her move. And I thought well. Sometimes this is what happens. You know she just hasn't moved yet today and obviously that's not what happened so. I called my midwife and Soul in the book but long story short she she had died at some point that day. And my midwife head. Told me on the phone, well, sometimes as they're getting ready to. You know be born there. Just it's it's scorched. They don't have a lot of room to move so. But. That's that's not what happened. So it was one of these. Just mysterious still bursts that I've had since come to find out is. No no known cause of death. That's what happens to a lot of stillbirths. Sometimes, it's really clear but they they didn't they. They weren't able to to name what had caused her heart stopped beating, but her heart had stopped beating. Thank you so much for sharing that I can't imagine what that would be like to be so excited, and then to have that loss just. So what's GonNa be honored that grief that you have? With cars. Of course, how did you deal with that? That was. I'm sure there's still a lot more grieving the has gone. So it's only cut gone. I mean, that's such A. There's not enough hours in the day to say how I dealt with that at first. It was just shock just shock I wish to. The hospital with Jason. WHO's not his real name and that's when we had ultrasound and found out her heart stopped beating. So I have this sort of visceral memory of lying there and and just that kind of quintessential out of body experience that I've. Read about other trauma survivors describe in just you know I, was there but I wasn't there. And then I remember clearly this this realization that I was going to still. have to go through labor. and. I remember being surprised that. You know in that I sort of thirty minutes I heard the doctor saying that and I was like. Wait a minute. What are you talking about? So it's very. It's just the. Incredible shock and and other women who've gone through this it would I I'm assuming would say the same thing you're just again, your brain just doesn't. It can't absorb I. Think I think the brain or my brain at least protected me initially can just only let in a few facts at a time. So we went home for a day family came in to help me and then we went back to the hospital and. I was induced for Labor and. I can't even imagine that to know that you're that Carter was stillborn and then to have to so give birth. I. I just can't imagine. Yeah, it's not. I don't recommend it. That's definitely. With all the happened have to wrap up here in just a second and so. With that when it comes to The intrigue of the Book Obviously. Leave it on a cliffhanger like this to see what happened between you and Jason How did you deal with this and this retrospective aspect of of what you're learning. But when you do reflect on this, what does it take what you learn about yourself? That that resilience is, is within me I think sort of the Meta takeaway is that relate resilience? and I remember when I was in the throes of of grief those those first. Several months after carly died and trying to. Just function in the world again and then. It's Jason and I we just kept deteriorating. So in many ways during that time I just. All parts of the identity that I had had for myself identities that I had had for myself were removed. So there I was. Starting over in in many many ways and and I think one of my takeaways from experiences. As painful as that was. What? An incredible opportunity you know if if Yeah. I. You know again, it's it's not the best way not the easiest way to. Evolve. But when I think about the version of myself, pre carly in Boston and the version of myself now I. AM, just I. Feel like I've got much more wisdom and. More to give and more to share and. None of that would have happened. Much more depth than perception about life in general. Yeah absolutely. So that's one of my my sort of big takeaways and. When I look back got. The book really focuses on. Like the three years of my life and when I look at back at now finally, I feel more compassion for that person a little bit less judgment for many years. I just thought would you use screwed it up? You screwed up your life. You've you made some big mistakes. And you pay the price and you know. What did you think Christian? Did you thank you wouldn't have some price to pay and now? Thank God. I can look back and feel. Just kinder shortstop person who did make mistakes. But who also really. Really. Did pay a price and really did grow from it. I'm I'm very pleased about that. I'm so glad to hear that I think just from from a maybe even more emotional standpoint. So I think now anytime you face adversity in life if you can say, well, I. I worked through I am working through the loss of carly. Probably get through whatever I'm dealing with right now and use that as a really good foundational piece that. Probably, one of the most difficult things you've ever faced and as you grieve are grieving through that pretty much anything else the piece of cake. Asking for things. Yeah. Yeah. I would agree and there've been other things that you know as being a human. You know things just keep happening but you're right that that was a seminal moment of really being just of knocked on the knees and and learn how to stand up again and and walk in new and better ways. So that's beautiful. My listeners, a purchase, your book from the Lake House Mothers Odyssey of loss and love Chris Rock if my listeners like to find out more information about you to purchase your book and learn more about you where they find this information online. I have a website. It's Kristen Rodham Macher DOT COM. And my book is listed on Amazon. My Book is listed on bookshop, which is an independent book selling. Website, which is which is great. But yeah, Amazon or my website I have a blog there and I would be happy to interact with people that are also on facebook listeners know that if they're not able to find your information, any other place one more time the name of your book is from the Lake House a mother's odyssey of loss and love simply go to the show notes in this particular episode at James Miller. Dot Com and I also linke with any digital store. You're looking forward to purchase this book present. Thank you so much for being a fantastic shows, I really appreciate your time. Thank you so much I really appreciate it. Thank you. I also want to thank you my listeners for tuning in today. Please subscribe to this radio show through which ever portal join me today. Also, please go to my website were you may sign up for the free weekly. Recap Watch my youtube episode read the articles. I've written specifically for you and purchase my previous guests self-help products. If you like to work with me, be a guest on or advertise the show visit James Miller lite policy dot com. Be Sure to follow me on all social media platforms under the name James Miller lite following except for twitter, which is james m life algae. Once again, thank you so much for your support and I'll talk to you soon.

James Miller Carly Kristen Rodham North Carolina Boston Lake House Mothers twitter Jason James Miller partner Lake House James Michener instagram Kherson Chris Bottom Audible Amazon
Wendy Friedman - Entrepreneur/ Buyer

Blackout Podcast

43:01 min | 10 months ago

Wendy Friedman - Entrepreneur/ Buyer

"This is the blackout would cost hello and welcome to the blackout. Podcast wagon to talk to amazing people that do amazing things and today. I have wendy from the biscuit. General story i am biscuit. General store and shop called independent mercantile. Independent consultants will come onto podcast. How are you doing. Hey you're everything now. The world is a different beast entirely. Yeah i was just saying to monica earlier. She was asking how things were. And i'm like. I feel like i just had to start everything over. Everything is new like running a business. Maybe i've had one for a long time and a whole new thing. Now it's a whole different world than everything's different. So i feel like i'm completely starting over. Yep so let's go walk a bit How you which came biscuit. Gerald started i how was idea behind our business how he comes to be well that came about i. I always wanted to work in fashion. Like since i was a kid and when i was coming out of high school i got into the good fashion schools in new york. Like parsons fit. But i was super broke. And i couldn't go because i had to make that happen so i just decided like i'm going to try to learn whatever i can. How my own and started taking jobs in that world so i mean i've worked in a store and then i became a manager of a store and then one of the designers who sold things to the store was like. Hey do you want to come work for me and you know just sort of worked every job in the industry I ended up working Eventually in like some production management and design so i just sort of hopped around and did like customer service all different jobs in the fashion industry and ended up warning that way. Because i couldn't afford to go to school And then actually. I came to halifax because i'm from the us i came to halifax to Visit my dad who had moved here and got offered a job and ended up moving here but then the company that i was working for which was based in europe decided to close its canadian operations and i wanted to stay so I started in my store. Really as a way to stay in halifax. And because i i had worked all these jobs in the fashion industry which was technically considered like moving up in the fashion industry. But honestly i really wanted to just be a shop. Because i missed it. I didn't wanna work in an office. I always say like. I don't want to work in an office where people talk about clothes. I want to actually work in a place with actual close and actual human beings and helping actual human beings fine clothes because you know if you work at a certain level in the business. It's like you're just in an office and the closer like numbers on a spreadsheet and does not interesting to me like. It doesn't do it for me. So i ended up starting biscuit as because i wanted to get back into being in a shop but also Because i wanted to stay in halifax and the i was here on a work visa and company. I worked for buddha ed so i was like can i do and i started the store with like no money and Everyone said it would fail and by all measures probably should four years. Were like really really really hard. And i was working a ton a ton of ours myself and we never had enough stuff in the store because i was always like you know trying to get money to buy more things and it was really scraping by and then it started to get some momentum so i mean your idea. What was your idea for the store to like get designers to bring closing or well because i had worked in the fashion business candidate. I knew there were certain brands of clothes that i liked. That weren't available at that time in halifax and so i reached out to those brands and said i'm opening a shop. Would you be willing to sell to me. And sometimes the knew somebody there. Because i worked in the industry and be like look. I'm starting to store. Usually if you start a new story at pay people up front. But i was like. Would you be willing to send them to me. I'll pay you later. Just sort of like negotiated with people and was able to kind of slowly. Get going that way but it was very much like by my fingernails. It was rough going at the beginning and And then what ended up happening. It sort of grew from there because after i had the cl was just clothing when i started and then what ended up happening was there was at that time. Nowhere to buy like cool gifts or accessories and things like that The weren't expensive because a lot of like you know a lot of the big chain stores that are here now. They weren't here then and So i started trying to seek some of those things out and they were doing really well and so i moved the shop to argyle street. Too much big to a bigger space. Not as big as it is now but way bigger than what started with. And i changed the name to biscuit general store because it was just biscuit clothing because all our clothes and then i moved down there because i was like you know if we call it a general store we can sell whatever the hell we want to. You know what i mean. General store can be like food like we are. We want to see if we wouldn't want to sell shoes. We can still shoes and if we do get a lot of people coming in and asking us if we sell cigarettes do not ever do that. But yeah. I just was like that's an umbrella. You know of a name that you can be whatever we want it to be and then we can keep adapting and unfolding how we want. And i'm why do you choose an mvp skit People always always ask that of basically 'cause i'm from south carolina. I was born and raised there and When i was trying to think of a name for the store was trying to open the store really quickly and I was considering some names that we're like no majd to where i grew up and i kept thinking all these different names like no that's dumb. That's cheesy that stupid. Those and i was sitting there with a friend and a coffee shop and she was kind of getting. Maybe a little irritated with and she said. Why don't you just name it what you were going to name your dog. 'cause i had always said i wanted to have a dog biscuit. And all when she said it. I was like i could see a logo in my mind. I started to see like red and white and the word biscuit knows. Actually that's kind of fun to say like biscuit. It's like a short name. And it's like i could see it written easily and actually i think i like it and so i didn't have a dog yet so the store got the name and dog. No not right now for a new one with the pandemic remote ones that started the those like a lot of things people are gonna start doubting dogs and cats get one. yeah but hopefully. I'll have another one soon. But yeah so what happened like in year. Four made things stop moving. I don't really know. I think it was like we had enough a little bit of time to get. I think i started feeling like some ground under my feet a little bit. Maybe a little more confidence and we had started to build enough like. I didn't have money to advertise. And you know do that but maybe enough word of mouth started to get around where we started building enough of a customer base. That was like ok. Okay like we're starting to get some momentum and traction and felt like i could Make the move to a bigger space. Actually wasn't any more expensive. Because at that time argyle street was like all empty papered over like does not much down their noses. That was like twenty years ago and they were like building. Neptune theatre i think and i think the shoe shop was like there. Were maybe one or two things there but there were a lot of empty buildings and so it wasn't like prime Friday man you winning too early. Yeah we just. We're like bigger and you know we we think we can make it just leads. No that's one. I really made the change and change. the name. said we're gonna call it biscuit general store because then we can just do whatever we want and we'll have that like umbrella name that'll just work for whatever direction we go in office. Things he go to our includes Some of the first things. I remember like at that time. We were the first or that had the brand french connection which you might of heard about is at that time. That was like nobody here. Had that then Oh god in the early days we had tack like the rafer days. This brand of pants from toronto. I don't know if you've ever heard of them called robes. I've seen them start to come around like people are now doing that style again. And i'm like. Oh my god but there were these like really simple. Baggy pants unisex. That had this like almost like seatbelt looking belt saying on them and they made them in like ton of colors. We sold jillions. Everybody was like crazy for these pants and that was but those kind of things helped us like i say get on our feet so we could kind of be like okay. Okay we can do this. Did you start with you or did you have people right away. I had a couple of people right away that were friends. And i'm still friends with all of them today But i worked like six days a week myself. Definitely for the first four or five years and well since the pandemic lower seventy s not always in the store voted your stop Yeah and then. I guess how was it for you when paul started becoming what it is now In most ways i would say was a a gift i mean was. It was great because we didn't have just our customers who came down there looking for us. Walking through our doors started being like oh people from the suburbs who are coming down here to go out to dinner. We're finding us or tourists. Were finding us But then in more recent times we went through the leg disaster of the convention center. Your which is like pretty bunk crushing Every every business on our street on our block Either accept us and dirty melis Closed moved or sold to new ownership because of the construction so it was pretty. Brutal is pretty rough. Yeah that bulak ida positives on us done not yet like a ghost town that convention center but at least we're not dealing with construction like that anymore. It was just so much construction all at once because there were so many huge projects going on at the same time it was like insane And maybe someday the convention center will be something. But i don't know i mean pandemics. Don't the foam one thing is known something new to The former conference. It's now like the link the culture link. That's open. That's supposed to be happening. That's further down our alan. I think i'm like all four having more arts and cultural Focus points downtown. That would be really really great. And we'd love to see that actually come to be if there's a time when we can all be in the same space or again you know because i think performance like for me that's like i. I love nothing better than going to live. Performance it's like feed your soul. I mean it is like yeah. I love going to like theater and live music. Yeah yeah yeah The actually i'll i'll i'll get to that but like With the store right. Everything is windy. Independent in burma mercantile. Happen well that came out of My inspiration for that. A lot of it came out of. I'd be out buying for biscuit. And so like you know. I would go to trade fairs and trade shows or also when i travel. I love just looking in other shops and seeing what other people are doing. That's fun to me and my nephew a lot of people to be it's fun And i would see all this great stuff. And i was like. Why isn't anyone have this in halifax. Why isn't that around where we are. And it was things like Like a few of the things. I remember really stuck with me. Were these like these glasses. When you go to europe. They're on every bistro or bar table. These great french glasses called Derelict's glasses and they're not expensive or fancy they're just like these really great glasses that you see everywhere there and i'm like you can't find them here. Why can't you find those here or these. Like beautiful blankets. That i would see and of other places i never saw them here and so that was part of it i was like. Why can't we get these things in halifax why isn't anyone offering them So that was part of it. And also i think i was like had biscuit long enough or maybe i was starting to get like wanting another challenge getting itchy and wanting to see if like i could take on more and maybe try to grow But also honestly in light of what was going on with the convention center and housing tough things or for biscuit. I was trying to find another revenue stream for myself is i was like how can i get a little salary from there and get some from here just like diversify my life a little bit so that i'm not so dependent on that one thing that was so living on the edge and i was like i better. You know have options so that was part of it but then also a huge part of where it ended up is Because i've always wanted to do something in my neighborhood and i've lived on falkland street for like twelve on twenty three years maybe and always wanted to do something that was in that area and so when i was gonna open this second business i really looked around lots of different options and really happy that we ended up. We did Yeah and how long was it When you independent and it's like almost six years until what's it's it's also like pluto or no. It's not close at all. Don't have any clothes. There is some so it's homegoods like i was saying like glasses and like bar where things for your kitchen and like gifts and things like for self care alike candles and skin care in grooming products and Shaving stuff Fend just plants. Just like what's of things for your for gifts and for your home and for entertaining and things like that. Would you putting each store. Well the pretty different vibes. Even though i mean. I guess it's all me so maybe there's some similarity you know what i mean because maybe i have my own point of your life. What appeals to me but like biscuit is mostly closed and then we sell accessories and some gifts the gifts we have biscuit or much more like pop culture. Like you'll see here kind of funny and pop culture and studio for a whole to be bigoted and keep your friends yes likud. We have books there. But i try to have books like you're not gonna see everywhere kind of like fun and current and And so that's the kind of stuff we have at biscuit whereas independent mercantile is more like really lovely things for your home or for taking care of yourself at say it has maybe a little bit more of a It's like ageless and has a little bit less like biscuits more play fall and independent mercantile sophisticated or grown up in a certain way in terms of gifty things that we have and i mean you. You run into stores If like social if it wanted to make on that. I'm sure your super-busy how do you like time for yourself. We do get for yourself. How you spend that downtime Well pre pandemic my favorite like really the thing that gets me life. And i really love it. I love to travel. I really really loved also work for you too. I do end up traveling for work to do buying and go to shows. But also it's what i liked doing for if i do have time and also as one of the only ways i can get myself to actually stop working is if i go away from strange city and i get myself away from the laptop. I might actually like go. Take a walk in the park and do something. You know what i mean. Go wander around or go to museums. And like i said i for me. I love going to museums. I love going to the theater. I love I love just wandering streets in a place. I don't know and just people watching and looking at the buildings like i just adore doing that. That's super happy place for me and all the places you've traveled to Lots i mean You know around the us and canada bit but in terms of more exotic places Well i've been to A fair number of places in europe and also in asia. But i wanna do like. There's a lot more stolen into. So what was the last place you went to before the shutdown. That wasn't forward how he's always in la like right before and toronto. Like two days before But la la mixed for me. Because i go there for work. I do a lot of buying there. And it's where we make our own in house brands that we sell it at biscuit. We have some things that we collaborate with makers in l. a. too so for us so i do go therefore better. Also have some of my closest friends there and so it's a real mix of and enjoyment was in house. They will call the just biscuit. Bonanza by the skit. It's like just usually pretty affordable little things that we do collaborations with some of the like smaller fashion companies in l. a. that we've worked with and when they get to know us a bit. Sometimes we collaborate on stop Do you ever welcomed local designers or we have stuff in in biscuit we have in the past. It's been somewhat of a challenge. Honestly like is kind of a bit of a heartbreaker historically well a lot of times. We've tried to partner with local designers and put a lot of effort in and nothing ever Ended up materializing but we have at times done. Some there's just not a lot of clothing that's made here like there aren't many people actually making close here so there's not a ton okay so i guess i'm a design on. I wanna get my stuff in biscuit. What do i do well. The first thing. I always tell people just reach out to me like either on social media via email and I need to see what they're making and see. If it makes sense in our store for something that we think our customers would would by And you need to kind of have Your ducks in a row in terms of understanding. That like You can't we can't buy things at the price that people sell them like. That's also a big stumbling block. Other times they say like well. I saw this shirt for fifty dollars and so then they want to sell it to me for fifty dollars. And i'm like well i have to mark it up because i have to pay staff and renton insurance and utilities. All these things so is is that. Why make sense when you do more stuff volume Yeah we don't buy a lot of volume usually per style. But that's what the companies that we deal with are doing most mostly people who were doing a little bit more volume. We do work with a lot of smaller canadian designers. There just haven't been a ton from here but like we worked with them. I don't know if you know anna guilt. Kherson who owns anna zack. Which used to make new when she was doing a line that she sold another stores like. We had her things and we have had like different t-shirt lines and things over the years from from local designers. So i'm always like bring it on like I would love to do more of that. So i guess do you like you. Don't ever want to design stuff you just like. If it's pretty you wanna put in a store or sell. I have well. I used to work as a designer. And then our. In house. Brand bonanza. I do design. No okay now collaboration okay so i called collaboration. Because i don't like to quite say i design it because i don't like make the patterns or anything like that but what happens is if it's a l a brand that maybe we've been buying things from and they already have production facilities and all that i'll go and say hey. Would you be open to doing something like this And light maybe. It'll be address. I show them that. Wearing are like something i'd like. Oh remember that trust. We did last summer. Could we do something like this where we make it like three inches longer and then we changed the sleeve like this and like and then i look for their fabrics and say like what if we did it in this fabric and these buttons and if they like my idea though it's sometimes a win win because for them they're kind of getting someone who knows the business who's giving them ideas for free and then for me it means. Sometimes i can get something made that i think will work for us but they the thing is you have to make like three four five hundred of something and i can't sell so what they do. Is they give me like six of them with my label on it. And then they take the other written ninety four and put their labeling and sell it to stores in japan and chile wherever all over the place under their label. So that's why. I say it's like a real collaboration. Because they do the production and they make it possible for me to get things done i would. I don't have the volume to accomplish and that so is sort of like collaboration that way. How do you design on. The name bonanza pardon. Why did i call it bananas I chose that name. Because bonanza means like a Like winning the lottery. I treasure chest like an. It just feels like really positive. It means like you know. Hooray it happens. You know i wanted something that felt really positive and not pretentious. And not like snobby and Just thought that bonanza had this feeling of like celebration you sound super happy do find You have the same clients going to both stores or distinct Differences between people are going to each store we do. we definitely do have a lot of overlap. I think definitely yes and I find tells interesting because we is more neighborhoody because it's a a neighborhood base more of a residential areas so it has more of the neighborhood vibe and also i find a lot of old much older people who may be come to where we are on god's agenda because they're like going to the bakery or something like that they come to mercantile by the house whereas where as they might not be our clothing customer for biscuit so i finally get more than neighborhood vied there and we get like a lot of these sort of much older senior clients there. That aren't really are downtown clothing people. Yeah so you you can elating toronto. And then as i always people are really dying We are shutting everything down. What is your reaction as a business owner We closed real fast. Basically we i mean we close before they told anyone to close because i was just came back from toronto. I think it was on like the eleventh or something a march. And i went to work and i just felt so uncomfortable Asking when the main things on my mind was asking my staff to come to work on the bus. Because i mean i don't make them take the bus be high. No the law do and And just thinking look. What are we doing here like. Is this really important right now. And it just nothing. Sorry nothing to me would ever be as important as like risking people's health and safety. And so i just was not feeling comfortable. Even even the people were coming in and wanting to buy things i felt really weird being like. You should buy this dress right now because that's really important at this moment in time i just felt super uncomfortable and actually it reminded me of his It reminded me of nine eleven. I was in toronto. Nine happened. And i remember i called the shop and i just said close. It had like it really reminded me of that same feeling which was just like just fucking close like this doesn't feel right right now. I don't this is not important right now. And so i just told both of the stores i just like. That's it. we're we're closing this. Until i mean at that time we didn't know that everything was going to close even but i just like until we know more like i just can't do this. So yeah he you know it's like we wound and we five. I'm always like talking to my staff and think like oh it'll be like a couple of weeks like you know we'll all get to take little breed there and i was sort of thinking like it'll be i didn't think it through like i didn't know enough to think through and realized like this is going to be like a while and I remember anna from anzac. Make new And i were talking and we were like. Let's get some of the women own small business owners together on zoom and just like see what's up with everybody. This was like early on and we all got on zoom and we're kind of show and we were thinking like yeah it's gonna be like you know three or four weeks. God going to be really hard to survive missing three or four weeks of sales but we'll figure it out and we had no idea no idea than what i have to say like I felt really grateful to be in canada as you re for boy. I'm from south. Carolina is like and streams when people make something that's keeping them alive political. Today i was looking at sophos like kidding me but like yeah i i feel so grateful. It's not perfect and you know there. Are there things that have been issues here for sure but i just felt like the fact that they rolled out support for people so quickly. So people didn't have to have that life panic and fear. When like i would talk to my friends in the states who were like right within two weeks. We're going shit. I can't pay my rent and we weren't having that moment because you know i mean i know the next few years are still going to be super bumpy and there's going to be a depression i don't know what's gonna happen or if my businesses will survive but the fact that they tried to roll out help quickly so people didn't have to have that immediate panic while we're all trying to figure shit out fell so grateful to be here are honestly. I feel really like better known. Yeah i know. Unfunny of joseph for the shutout was in florida myself. And then i don't know like i was there for for a conference and i can get a gift box in a week. Everything he's shown down. I was like okay fine. I can work from home. 'cause but then you realize that life is not going to be the same for a very very loans. That took a while for me to kind of get that the like. Oh i can't you know we're not gonna see people is going to be more than a few weeks and you know that were it was very surreal like we're really living in this super surreal science fiction strange strange thing that years from now the you know maybe we'll have some perspective on it but right now it's just like but i mean i guess as human beings we adopt a resilient so we make it woke somehow so we're opening up you know reasonably what is that like for your businesses i. Well it's been okay. I feel like the only way i wanted to do. That is if i could do it and feel good about it. Because of felt sketchy. Just didn't you know wouldn't be worth it but we feel like we like oh just worked really closely with my staff and we really talked about. What can we do so that everybody feels safe. And we've talked a lot about Biscuit especially we've talked a lot about the idea of trust and how we as a team all really need to have trust for each other and Because we really need to trust that each of us are doing the things because we're going to be in close proximity with each other like that. Each of us are falling protocols to keep each other safe. And so like what we're doing is we've been kind of overzealous with safety protocols like we're quarantining all the clothes that people try on and like that's not anything that's required but we just felt like that's how we can feel okay about what we're doing and feel that we're taking care of people and not risking things to try to you know make money and pay around and do the things we gotta do And for the most part. I would say people coming in have been really respectful and appreciative. And i think people really turning up to try to support local business which we really appreciate But it's still super uncertain. I don't know how this is all gonna play out a depends how long it takes because we're definitely like in the summer at my store. Downtown prostrate like i'd say probably thirty percent of my business was from tourists and they're not here so i i don't know how to predict the iterations down the down the road right now. We're just trying to like do everything we can To take take care of our staff and keep people coming in feeling respected and save and we're all wearing masks in the store all the time. All our staffer wearing them. We make everyone use hand. Sanitizer it's not optional. We've had a few people refuse. And i was like okay cool like that. I'd just like. I said it's the only way we feel good about like you're gonna be walking around the store touching stuff used in. I feel okay about that. and Yeah for the most part people have been really sweet and supportive one thing you know that the pandemic has taught me is that young so my country's of my companies go boo and woodsy this whole at african. It's it's a it's a sentence like the 'sensitive ends is. We're strong together. You know. it's a big thing and that's war. Despite emmy does like only takes is one person being stupid and not caring about the other person's saying you you kinda have to get out of yourself. I'm like what i'm doing affects. Everybody else idea. It's like that were community. Means so much more now because it's not just talking about like this may be picture we had our mind of what community means that it actually means like you know communal and that. We're all impacting each other in such a real way and Yeah that word trust. Keep coming back to lake. I was talking to my my momma who still lives in north carolina. And she said to me. We're talking about the whole mass controversy in the us and she like she compared to like wearing a condom. Which i had never thought of. That's it's so true because it's not just like people saying like you know you can't make me with like what you're doing it for everybody else like. That's why you do those things right. It's it's that's the idea of community are like some kind of social contract or social that we're all responsible for each other like think of all the things we do to be responsible for each other like we do all the time like you could say like. I don't feel like using my turn signal when i drive and you can't make me but like it's something we you do for everybody's sake i trust that you'll do it. You know. it just feels like we have to be thinking that way more than ever not just with like wearing a mask but just like yeah like trying to support our neighbors and look out and make sure people are ok and checking people and you know all and supporting local companies. Whatever it is. I just think we have to do that. I mean not like to get on a so book so they might Photo something. I think we're really doing well. In nova scotia yeah And he's always nice. When will i oh did three. We know this thing. An and like the new cases we hardware people coming from outside too. So it's like here. We kinda of a dream the best weekend just kind of stuck with depression. Let's go by your social media. It's so happy he's so happy he's like i mean especially for biscuit rate. It's like this happy zone. Thank yeah so like do have it. Seemed behind the or how do you how how does i do. Your instagram is more. What i'm talking about. I mean these days actually team is myself in my niece of and that's been really great like she jumped in. We quarantined together During the shutdown and she offered to kind of jump in and be like thought partner and helped me with social media during this time and also get since we were quarantining together. It made a lot of sense because we were doing photo shoots together and that wouldn't have been as comfortable with someone who wasn't in our household But general i mean yes. That's been great but generally that's we even have it on our wall that That we say that this is your happy place. The i really. That's important to me. And like why i wanna do it. I mean it is my work and my livelihood but it's also i only. I don't mind showing up at work. Because i think it is and we try to make it be a positive and happy place. That's like it's super important to us. That is really you know inclusive and positive and not Snobby and not judgmental and Yeah i want it to be that kind of as you're okay I don't want it to end. Yeah time so. I'm going to end it with this question. You know i mean with the pandemic and everything. Even we'd all that you have these years and years of experience right someone out there. Watching listening says okay. I have this great ideal. I wanna turn into a business. Like what from your experience. Would you say with this person Well i've sometimes been like asked to speak to groups of entrepreneurs and things. So maybe i'll think of a few things i've said to them like. I love mentoring new businesses. And that's something. I do with a few people right now One thing i tell people is go. Make mistakes on somebody else's payroll. Because i feel like one of the most valuable things i had before i started my shop was that i worked for all these other businesses and i basically went around and was like don't do that don't do that. That's fucked up. Don't do that. I don't know if i consider that other it really taught me so much of like Traps and pitfalls and Things that i could see by working in other businesses. That was like you got to watch out for that. That's not that doesn't work. So that's one thing i encourage people. Don't just run out of the gates without kind of going out and learn some lessons on somebody else's payroll mike while you're while you're working for them instead of taking your shot you know and blowing it Another thing that would say if if you are in the midst of doing it and i know that these times are especially challenging. And i've like. I said i feel like i'm starting over. It's a whole new business. Like i just launched e commerce for biscuit the day before yesterday. It's a whole new. Which i've needed to do for years granted but it's just we all have to do business in new and different ways now I just feel like Don't give us because every one who looked at my business. The first few years that i was open would have said this is failing. The numbers did not let cute and it didn't make sense on paper but if you really really love it and you care about it like keep fighting like re keep working at and And then the other thing. I says get advice. Because i still do. If i don't know how to do something for if i feel like there's something there's out of my area ts or sometimes just like i want to hear what other people are doing. I talked to my peers. I talked to other entrepreneurs. But also like i have business advisors and mentors myself that i go to like. I don't know how to do this. What do you do when this happens. And so i think get advice to thank you so much wendy israel. I feel weird like had this conversation. And didn't even you know that this show today's about you. And i wanna make time to talk about me and stuff okay. Cool fake fake it. Thank you this is the blackout podcast. Thanks for listening.

halifax biscuit general store toronto Neptune theatre europe anna zack parsons Gerald wendy monica south carolina burma anna us Kherson la la new york renton alan
#278  Florida Porn Stores

Kinky Katie's World

59:51 min | 2 years ago

#278 Florida Porn Stores

"The following program contains adult contend crabs language of a sexual manner completely irresponsible. Advise along with some things you'll wish you could hear. You are under the age of eighteen easily offended or like to judge others based on there's sexuality please turn off for those who remain enjoy and have a nice day because I was fucking the Shit Atr de the little Kiedis ten nine eight seven. Six three Katie's growth starts now. How are you ready to trust sack? You said you wanted to play dress up. Don't you Sean Elmo. It and now live from rule. Thirty four stadium. I bring you a girl that knows way too much about accidental castration. Take your host the one the only can Katie. Hello Hello Hello and welcome to the show this is can you gave his number. Two Seventy Eight I'm your host. He Gainey would me. Els always is my right hand. My favorite plus covering fucked toy. Mr S Burqa. Now you doing. I love your enthusiasm okay. It's awesome sure we are coming to you live from raspberry you're live dot dot com kinky Katie radio DOT COM radio DOT ned. Oh we have got a Poncho for you to Ni- plus a brand new tits man and some other topics. Excuse some stuff. That's that's Katie. Butts in this stuff category. Storing some stuff around the interweb that that just means. It's it's gotta be loaded with women violence of some sort or not your average on the woman on man. Violence lost their Dick Today. are lost dickey counters up to three million three hundred and twenty eight thousand two hundred twenty five. Oh Oh shoot just jumped up again power. You're just so worried though about your Dick me here and you're a hundred parts yup twin berries. You know worried. I'm clumsy it anyway. Sometimes your your hand eye coordination is just you know. It's it's a little below average rich. I'm going to say Ed like sometimes you dig when you should zag like you're that person's so sometimes when you get to handle it takes your great. It's it's working great. And then you'll make some kind of weird maneuver and then something bad happens. I got a sneeze or something I just. I don't know like at some point in their something. Something goes south sometimes. Yeah sounded all the type thing. It'll be all funny games. You're playing with the way okay. Great great that all of a sudden you pull away really fast in one just pinches ride between your two free. It's like you were trying to do it. And you swear you wirt hurt no okay. I don't intentionally go after you to hurt you so well so my fear is justified. It's not it's not unreasonable. Fears up saying whenever it's not like being afraid of holes right like it's an actual fear because I have felt pain from your sudden movements toward my crotch area. Well I just. I can't believe that when we were first starting to date. You told me that I could blake wine but like did you do that once so I held a time when pink take. You immediately regretted that well. I told you you could do it. I know it was to follow through at my. How can you get mad at me but unheard what would you say you? Would you say I forget what it was but I yeah you say you're you have to like she got see. Can't back out a shit like that. We just saw a fucking allegiance gangs. It's PODCAST rewatch sometimes big J. O.. Kherson actually took a gun in the butthole because he lost a bet in the like really. Katie Yeah God on that too I have never been a you that ever. I know better now now I could go horribly wrong. Yes I know like flicking might not. How did he die? Well aw he had a really weird fatter start off by saying that firearms and a butthole strange. Uh We have. We don't have ASI of ask guns flowing in the house. They're all registered spine. What for us? Now there's the ass bazooka that was a bit more of a tat fit though I feel like I. Am on a promotional tour. Lately of. Well I mean I have my weekly spot on dangerous conversation. Some Florida man. Radio Plug just naturally. Yeah I would have segue right into this mother fucker. Just GonNa notice the J. Show and we plug and I've even been on the Kevin and Holly L. E. Show Okay and it's been a lot of fun and it's been had really good feedback. Okay I don't know think of getting popular or something. Okay great anyway. I'm a little disappointed. Pointed out you guys out there I am. I'm why I didn't get not you. I'm talking about everybody else out. There listening land. I didn't get any Halloween Dick. Pics not one. If you're listening to last week show then you know you gave him a whole week. I did okay. It s pretty fucking demanding. We'll tell you honestly I thought at least if you've you would come through making costumes to wear out Katie and you. You demand a Dick Costume before the end of the week. Yeah really. It's a little bit still. He's still take much. If you don't have like the right fit it can start your proportions completely off and then you know. Then you've ruined the project. I feel like we're doing the show tonight from the parking lot of the palladium. Yeah they do. Yeah the tearing it up while they're like extra loud anyway. Now I'm GonNa tell I I was telling Katy though I kinda like Carmichael deserve it really is like a large portion of my life I I just. I didn't really care so much. I drank and what I was loud. I really give a rat's ass screaming matches yesterday and if anybody ever said anything tweet I would immediately be completely aggressive. Laugh Second laughing at a guy walking his cabinet like three o'clock in the morning I know benedict is what I'm saying so I designed it and I have to sit here and take it like a man like i. I don't even I'm not even I'm not even GonNa get mad about that. It's not going to make me mad. I deserve `art and I've been way worse off like getting shot. There's no fight now. What are you going to play loud? Music occasional vegetation education homicide which them Gotcha Melva ears. But that's in Latin Latin accent but I for whatever reason can't here right now it's just not coming to me and my guys but Thanksgiving is coming up and and I don't WanNa see anyone banging Turkey but a AH mashed potatoes but you know you could do a little pilgrim or whatever it is you want to Turkey. Yeah why don't you just take a sharpie free in sheriff beat up a little. You know what I'm saying. That's easy Guy Sharpie and if you are a little smiley face so since we're at it why don't we just go early and say start planning for Christmas or Hanukkah you do whatever you're into the watchman. Hbo You could do like a little fellow hat. trenchcoat Kowt well you could just just in a condom and you could just move around your finger and McConnell. I don't even know what to make Gary Look at age. Yeah somehow you gotta make some little black goblets in there you know for the Actual Inc lot part of the ink well elect. That's what I'm saying. How how do you arrange that? Maybe you can take very very ill. Oh maybe some maybe some like little pellets. That where you actually bus Ya- you just shove them. Up Your your take hold a little so would would you bust not beings out like like Gel. Pack you a blood capsule thing in the movies you know what I said Eh. Okay I get it I get it that that should be completely safe sir lease be okay well unless you but now I can't even think of no I'm just a little just a little drop if you just literally took like a BB gun not. He's in a baby. Like you literally just go down into your your e through a little with some sort of a dipper. You know yes is something logging uh-huh and really just one little drop of of of black whatever medical grade food die out that. And that way when you blowed out it it comes. It's just gonNA come out or what it's just you're just gonNA absorb it in your take all you know what I'm saying that's how you get the Rohrschack con of action right there. I God okay. You wanted to picture well this. This is something that I that I have been saving since yesterday morning. Saving saving it. Yes it was it was right after you left for work okay. I had a picture from three years ago reported on facebook. Or you've been suspended. I have been suspended. I put it up for our argument for fucking. Yeah and I didn't get the news until Saturday the like no. We reviewed it and sorry I got to violations for it. One was for nudity which there was none at all and the picture was under a video of Elvira And Enviro was showing more booby than me. Okay and it was also one of my highest liked pictures. It was like three hundred and some people like the picture the other violation was for racial insensitivity. ooh What did you do what happened. I was dressed as a fucking Geisha O of cultural. I didn't have my is as you already hear anything. Nope I just thought it was really pretty. I said look number one. There's no nudity said number two. I'm not making fun. Anyone Asian people. There's Asian art all over my apartment. You can see some right behind my like an fucking buzz right behind my head on the wall. I've got a five foot fucking vase with lacquer and enamel inch food dogs and fuck I mean I. I love the culture. I think that the women are beautiful. Hot guys is to really so yup Sir for the next thirty days a whole month of November November Lever New facebook member twelve year. I didn't mention that. They changed their their policies. Air Over its bookie. Yeah she's yeah. Yeah Yeah speaking of those policies facebook join up with instagram and they're gonNA be facebook instagram at the same company. Yeah so they're always joined up. I didn't know okay. Well they're doing a they're banning sexual will emerge a UCS. I know I heard about plant in the peach. Can't put them together or you'll get suspended you can't have you can't have have any emojis used to cover nipples or your dick or your pussy your butthole. Because a lot of people do that. I have cupcakes on my tits on some pictures but I took them down. Yes you better scour your shit exactly. Well I can't right now or you can scour. I can't delete maybe I can delete me. Just can't post yes. We know. Maybe they probably. I don't know well fucking according to Konya West Social Media Tempts men like the devil tempted. Jesus okay his wife. We've got famous from a porn and she posed naked. Picks all the fucking time. Yeah so anyway they're already united Sta- what you which is said they're they're also banning. The water drips. There's one there's three little water jobs because people like skis. Well well I post. I posted a wet spot picture the other day and I had a little ghost Emoji a job EMOJI and a heart like a vibrating heart. Yeah well they you know. I think it's like when they're in combination or something. Yeah like you can use the Emoji but like when there's more than an like an exact method to it like. How do you know the they're not really talking about like? Hey you want to make yeah. Well that's that's what I'm saying like. Take a impeach. It's raining men. That guy was just talking to was spending pace as he was talking today. Hey you know what I mean. Yeah sometimes it's it's yeah no but I think it in some but yeah they're changing her and if you don't like it you cannot use their little clubby that's that's the idea Lord. You can totally put up ads. That are completely false. And misleading and senator of evil. That's totally cool. Well I God forbid you know not even like you said you were you. Were you had an Asian dress and you had chopsticks in her hair. You're sticks in your hair and you didn't have Kabuki makeup like you can't wear a an Asia dress I had a full palm over over the front of my boob job and just the very top of my boob was showing and then the my Komo was just off one of my shoulders. And that's all it was and you can go to twitter at Katie Katie radio and you can see the fucking picture that got got me in trouble. And I also took a screen shot of facebook's policies the community standards and I stuck them right next to the picture and says what the fuck violate what did I do. But then that was the that was for the nudity part. The other part of my come I get got it. But she's well don't use their club. That's the that's the idea got funny a- At least well you know at least for as long as you've been suspended for things at the thirty day you did thirty days standing on your head. Yeah it's not six months again for like the fourth time You've you've been suspend your like a person who's been locked out in the public. We're the fucking. Why don't you start to get messages on unst a direct message and they just they first they start out nice again getting pissed and like why are you fucking ignoring me? I mean I'm really sorry. I'm like Jesus Christ gone down. If I'm not answering us because I can't oh they really they should allow you to put something that you're suspended yes like you know. There's a main there's a little red thing next to her She must be suspended. Yes that uh-huh fucking perfect so I don't think they want people to know how often people whatever they have you know like I said it's a little private clubs. So what are they. They'd be like. I'm nate right example out of you will they can. They can do whatever they want. Really a long as they're not fucking discriminating against people and they're doing it to everybody and I think they are. Yeah yeah you know like I said they changed your shit not too long ago so anyway. Back to Connie social media makes men suffer he. He says an accuses the platforms of of fuelling. Sexy diction tormenting married. Men Tormenting Mary Man. Okay Yeah uh well what. What's tormenting mailman again Threes stuff. I don't know what to do. Van Changed Changed Latium. Oddly quiet. They're just they're definitely their back in retirement. The the sex emojis found sexist fucking to naked on On facebook instagram and they said that it was social media. In general fucking wife is all over the place at. That's right. That's Kinda really horribly have. That's her fucking thin. And now she got you know famous. She flows Jay. I'll tape yes. Yeah took a knee as it everything. I kept parade eye. Contact look like she pays like like a like a Pro Chevy. She's been taught. You know what I mean. Yes she was groomed of clarity kind of like an American American Geisha. She's an American Geisha old school. Nicely Gauges Geishas. Orange weren't prostitutes suits. Though they weren't necessarily prostitutes they were professional entertainers though correct professional host. Yeah exactly that. That's what I'm saying about giving people what they want. But they said it but they said that it was it was actually considered An insult at if if they were proposition to have sex they said there were other girls for that. Their called party girls. Yeah so you say Herald it. Would it be delighted to be like. Hey semi some hearty girls. Yeah okay. That'd be fun see. He's the steel line. She's still hunting jerk off on. You hooked up to Pussy. So she'd be a friend of mine so I don't think we would have survived and like feudal Japan not know it was like Samurai. You Know Day totally trained. They kill people they were allowed to carry swords. And if you aren't one of them you were not so in yes like you know what I mean if looked cross eyed at one of these dudes guess what what happens. You're getting cut up eight ways from fuck it Sunday look like move before I got the job again I would I posted a picture of of it was a picture of a vodka. Glazer and myself and tab two girls that we were anyway was about most shot. I'll glaser is a person that's been in a lot to be moving a lot of like biker. Budget horror movies. And he's he's an older dude and he might be vice. Yeah he's like now. He doesn't like creepy old dude. Yeah like anyway anyway. Every everybody does not know who he is but anyway whatever. I'm just trying to get to the point loser. Hell go everybody in here. He's got a ten inch cock well. Top ten back in the eighties. Gay Male Horn anyway there. There's a picture of us and I'm looking at a spot on the back of his head but it kind of looks like I'm I'm cockeyed. Coming to the folks the cross eyed bitch I i. I responded with some mean and I'm like no do I deleted you like it was only. Fox's seconds I deleted it. And I said it's because Bob Fuck me so hard I got Google it. Didn't it feel better to not just be bad. Yes you know what I mean especially when you look at it and it does look like you're eating Brownie or your cross eyed right like. How could you get glad you go motherfucker? It totally does look like eating goddamn rowdy. That's a shadow. Yeah I said I haven't Tara all right. Well liked brownies to tell you. Food goes hungry hungry. We were watching TV or some scarier just thrills on accounts the seven. I mean there's always a fat one. Oh boy I set up let me eat. Oh my gosh. What if YOU'RE A guy? There's times when your body just needs a Jacuzzi Makusi. After a long day. You know well. This is a mini Jacuzzi for your balls. Oh it's called all the test to cousy battery operated mini Jacuzzi for your nets. I like I can almost hear the lawsuit started right others paperwork being filed filed immediately. If not sooner for way for what what do you mean at some point. Somebody's GONNA get fucking they're nuts hurt. Just think about this in any way shape or for water balls electricity. What could go wrong? Just say really cost forty dollars. Yup and tiny and it's got a little respite bad and it's not like like Deng. Chinese people making the testicles spa like you know what I mean. They're not really happy with us. So I mean how many is a UH stupid American we fry your fucking nut. Fryer big fat American balls you can't you can't talk like that any any work live. They're gonNA take my plumber hood away from me kicking off facebook. I know I I heard on a radio show see that spoke to all of that is I. I don't I don't participate anyway. So okay then Sir I. I'm not going for any kind of a job. Where if you thought that was a racist accent I tell you stop suffer exist? No Dell is not a sorry some saying it's it's just pretty generic. Well I've been finding like the coolest stuff on this oddity Mall Bell. Yeah okay so Christmas is coming. You may get some. We're not getting anything. You're not getting now then. I know now negative. You're not paying God good. I have so I don't know I'm just trying to make an excuse. Oh really whatever just trying to make an excuse fucking we stay. BBN CBS Deanna. Anyway we all know about but he knew baristas correct. Yeah being Katie. Their drive drive through in coffee shops where the chicks it's a wall they wear. Yes Caesar laundry show like that. I was never i. You know I've done it like once and then wondered why. Why why did I just do? You know I had no now. Didn't you in Orlando Listen. I with you. Yeah but why I was like what will what's the the point. I don't know I I I know. Why is this such a big deal? I gotta get it either. I mean I wouldn't even go out of my way to do it to be honest with you but we did what we did do it. Parking Lot Curtis right and sandwich joint suckers. We're all stuff was damages Zieger right now. A coffee topless coffee air was topless. No what about Bikini Baristas anyway. Well you know it's always been like a female dominated the area well now. They opened up an all male. Coffee Bar I mean really do ladies even want to think about the dudes Balzac just tea teabag in your double double spro. They're only they're only topless they. I don't know what they have on. The bottoms showed a guy like pants. That's what I'm saying. It's funny funny games until there's a cock that comes out. Yes I'd like a ball. Did smoke have. y'All nuts can you can you you throw in maybe a chest hair to that. See you know what I mean like. And they don't have to be waxed in anybody's I mean there are. I'm sure there are some days like Oh oh yes fucking hot but a little old ladies will get a kick out of it. Your Mom's okay but there is there is going for a vast majority of people. It's not the same for whatever reason when men see naked women or even women C. Naked Women. They're not as grossed out as you know when the twig Mary's out it's it's it's it's you know what I mean all of a sudden it's get vulgar bad's GonNa happen soon. Here's creeping up. The sides like little spider legs. Don't let that fuck haircut in my my spro you I know I have to court sprinkle. I don't know but but the hot chick it's it's you know. What do I care ahead? I don't know what does the place the place the humid- it's it's called the dream boys and it used to be but it used to be a gay man would probably really be into. Oh Yeah Yeah Yeah. It sounds like if I was if I was gay I would probably check probably. It's probably where the location is because it used to be a bikini thing Bikini Barista called the Lady Bug Bikini Lady Bug can't and they fucking tanked so they're like hey let's put the boys in there and it's doing quite well in this as the first of its kind Yeah I was kind and they have they have a bunch of like fuck and forty five other Bikini Barista places. This company owns so it's got to be the area so well. Yeah they're female female Bikini Baristas. Yeah only one male location right. Okay Yeah I could see if he had popular in a Lotta places though. I I like to cut some coffee. Well it's it's just like every guy you know guy go go dancer we know is always working At Gay Clubs to Sierra. You don't see like men Gogo Dancers in the Strip club usually. I'm sure it happens all the time but you know if it's not a huge yet if they're straight usually gay to yes. Yes the gate go to the straight. Yeah well but what I'm saying is even having having a male go go dancer in the club. Typically the female Kogo answers true. Yeah they want to lure menin. That's true. Yeah that's really why they give ladyship eighty shit yeah just to get guys in 'cause we're stupid interest anyway. I think we're going to go to episode ruled thirty four and when we come back. Oh my gosh have I been bad officer. We're GONNA talk about that. We're also going to have a double dose of tits man today exclude Excite Quaid Quad. Anyway enjoy we'll be right back yum tom yum time basically Andris breakfast snack. Guys are Aram are single or in a long distance relationship There's one thing you probably might miss the connection the comfort the intimacy of holding. Someone's hand. Well this is the phone case or the lonely lonely it. It has a flesh field. It's a hand severed the wrist like a human touch. Feel and then you could get the fuck tickle up from last week you have to take on the hand so you can touch them antebellum at the same time but they have they have people like holding it did. Did you see the fingers locked other. While they're on their phone. Yes Yeah so like as they hold their phone they're holding hand. ES L. when they're looking down and typing go to your head nobody puts him there anymore. You know there. There's in the ads. They're putting into their heads Okay and then when you're when you're texting and so on and so forth it's like a little handle for you. Yeah that's that's what they have it as a guy is laying in bed on his side and he's got his fingers locked and he's he's like texting relating point touching the screen by who knows what the hell he's doing. Ed How is he touching a Katie. Was it the seductive. Touch it was about Betta was who is a good. He's watching watching murder porn down down. Now let's say he can live his last kill. That's what he takes her Chevy's his hands scream bitch cream. I wonder if I could use this. same out and put a regular hand on the same phone holder like could be holding one of the hot I too am. I am a parent cups balls. Got fingernail like I could fuck an excellent with the day kate. Eight -tainer kids all with the show Scripts cursed sheet. The new live with Carina. Don't Michael Models In love and back back to TV. Kennedy's World Radio Live Dot Com can Katie radio DOT COM. And I'm Sir. Eric had like a bubble wrap fetish like we were listening anime Mumble Rab yes that's right it's Ravs even better Japanese. It really is 'cause you can kind of tell what they're saying so it's been harping awful lot that Foia Roya not even like hardcore bubble. Wrap like it just has some bubbly bubbly features. You know what I mean yes. It has very popular I realized. Oh my God I have fun. Hey if you wanNA give me on social media this is the place where I can still get me. I predict I would make a prediction. She's gotta be check and fat fat life responses for a little. That's why it was so funny. We were just talking about and you'll get onto some stupid and we don't really why would you do the fucking God Damn Ed. I really hope they're not Related I really hope the two related. 'cause I I would hate us so much coach not you what people well right could yeah. You can't prevent anything. I mean is you can get me on twitter at Kinky Katie Radio Kinky Katie radio DOT COM KATIE RADIO DOT com. Fell life you google. You'RE GONNA be Kinky Katie Radio and on my show pop. Nobody wants me either. Contact Club is a problem. Kick mcdonagh everywhere sucks balls does and that's exactly why I took like Dube's down instead opt out because really it was getting really old. I'm I'm just saying like like had shed taken down because you know what I mean no I do. I had to explain that to someone like can you like. Can I ask why I don't have your movies anymore. And I'm a guy that's right. I mean we pose because before we didn't host the PODCAST CAST. We hosted it somewhere else. And now I host all the files myself so if something happens and they fuck with us than the podcast gets fucked up and fuck that exactly. I think the podcast people would definitely agree with you there. We don't want to do. We don't WanNa miss that. Oh no no frustrates May. It Guy. It gets old rebuilding the world although it does give you something to do every once in a while it's like all right great. Take this and we're going to Redo it all awesome. Oh Gee now now I wanna make another graphic doing then. I start getting obsessive about little graphics. Ethics Shit what do you think about this well. I don't know anything when I don't hear the opinions that I want. I really just tune you completely out I say I like it and you're not talking about well. No sometimes I show you stuff that I don't like just to see what you say about it. Well I try to be honest. Okay well that's what what I'm saying. He usually. You're drinking. You're not only drinking the KOOL aid. You're making motherfucker cooling you're making and that you're even know what's in that kool-aid and and you're still dragging it. Yeah I know I cannot. I cannot trust your opinions on things sometimes. Not Because you're dishonest this artist or anything you just you know. Sometimes you'll think something's great odd me. It's completely not that's not true. Well no you'll be. I think it's just just cute durable. Yeah Yeah we're picking up glasses frames I tell you stones fucked up on your face you will you say the words. I don't want to look at you with those on your phone I can't really flick. Oh God I can't do it you know. I think I'M GONNA get a new body howdy pillow. Yeah Yeah it's it's like a four-foot fucking Dick. Okay have you as on. I okay like it's a cute little. It's a cute dake that's not emasculate all but it's big but then I slip sleep next to cock the cock you wish you had cameras although four foot now you can fuck that pillow fluffed until billow Scott Pillow. Yeah the little enemy smelly ways. Yeah it is pretty cute though. I don't know just a big giant cock. You can get a little squatty one again. I yeah can I. I'm just saying I have a little squatty tale. Yeah thank you. It's like when it's cold outside. Ching something that you want our like. Tell me or who who are Yo- for I. Just I don't know a single primary in Iran yes Iran across. I thought it was cute and a lot of people might say. Hey I wanNA snuggle with a big cute Dick. This ready snuggle with the big cutic- I know he when you let me know terrify you. I'm just saying there's sometimes there's pain and torture involved. Yes I know there is so what do you mean on your part makes edge. Have you you lash out. I know you lash out and you start poking at thanks Bradley Sub Bradey Sub Mad. And I do it again. Polish Michael of life takes you flinch every time I come around you. Why are you afraid of me? I don't know because you take potshots at me all the time come. Am I now do grabbing. Somebody's Gooch is a rather recipe. I'm GonNa tell you right now. You don't just you don't just region and grab anybody's gooch unannounced just out of nowhere. Hey give you warning fingers. On your coach I warning I slide down like you know. Like when you're GonNa pet horse you put your hand on his back and then slide down only reason why you do that kicked the things and it's not even like I need a reflex I'll just like jump and you'll go you have taken chins to the phase as these to these face because you came in quick and I you startled me and you turn it a hundred thousand times and you've even got hurt doing it. And you said deserved I deserved. I know maybe feel a baby. I was on a Saturday special on ABC. You know the abuser. Oh I deserved it. I really look at it. You literally had a bloody nose which deserved it deserved it like. How is that like I knew that some bad could happen maybe fledged hey? Yeah so we never stop out of the closet and you scare somebody which you've never done. Thank God my Jeez. Oh my God I'm so sorry that's what I'm saying. I mean it wouldn't take a picture that and post it. It'd be like look what just happened like. Oh my God. I don't really startled. Well no you don't know guy. I immediately whatever this is. I'm going to kill now before it hurts me. I just have to touch your fucking foot to wake you up and you scared the shit out of me so you. So what do you think is going on in my head when that happened exactly like immediately. I think somebody's trying to kill me and I don't know what's happening and I wanted to stop now because you are not a fight or flight kind of person you boop boop get the black. But I can't tell tell you if I had time to think about it and thought I could get away. I would certainly get away though. It's that initiative and if you out of the closet you're kind of cornered in a small area well well it's not even that it a lot of times it literally is like when you when you you startled you just use Baz out for a second and it's that me spazzy out for a second. There is always caught you. It's never you know what I mean like. If somebody jumped out at you know what I mean that's almost like like you know doing a reflex test and hitting somebody with a little wish bony fucking for your doctor whales on your knee with and just like that's like him. Doing we get well. He's staring at your fucking big toe. You know what I mean just what a ruinous throat. That's what I'm saying. Catch A and then and then the doctor. Coming up the bloodied housing. I deserted totally deserved. That that'll be nine hundred dollars a no. It's not part of your deductibles. deductibles Medicare doesn't cover that shit. No we don't take added Charito. Who told you that? Sorry Oh no oh. There's twenty four year old chick. She's she's facing multiple criminal charges after she was filmed grinding her as into into interesting officer. Okay yes there is a video you can watch you doing this. She was placed in cuffs on Sunday. Morning outside of a waffle house in Alabama does waffle House Alabama Alabama Bama. And she was. She was pressed up against the window. She's face against the window. Okay and as the officer had her with her hands behind her back she started rubbing her ass into his crotch and saying Oh yeah you like that you liked that. I'm not sure Really to be honest. I don't know if I like that or not I'm tour Ma'am please stop. I just had dry cleaned about. That's right you know what I mean. That's probably not the first time she's done. I'm Sir Probably. She's hot to shave his ready. That's what I'm saying. If if they look like patty the daytime hooker I I I kind of get it like immediately like okay get the fuck a if your copy should probably do. That anyway should probably do that Especially when it's on video I know if I were to have done that to a police officer I would definitely be at handcuffs if I make any sudden movements at all a Hog tied on the ground is usually what happens. Even if I don't make any sudden movements I I'm getting handcuffed and some kind of weird position. Oh you've liked officer officer Stanley you like that. I'm not even southie either. Like I'm not even. I'm not disrespectful about anything. And it's always a We're just GONNA cough. You hear what are you there seriously. Like I don't even know and I will. Do he twitched. and Ah the white dude. I can't imagine what I mean. People go holy Jesus Shit Balls. I've just a big guy you know. But and that's it my God. Sometimes they nice in her nice to me but the other half of the time not so much. It's gotTa what's the Flynn the crazy I I. Yeah I don't really even which is the thing I don't know he's quite that pisses he's not saying he's not saying because I'm just it just just don't fuck was retail. Fuck was fuck with me as you see sets because it's legal. Oh I know people realize that. Like when Anura man size man my sized issue not connect behind my back. No fucking way. I mean you could make them do it. But you're making they do it and one pair of cuffs. Just it doesn't fuck it. I mean my arms are going to be fucking numb and taking leave for a month. Screw you I've editor. I know that several times I was asked me. Just you know Julie Solid like I. I'm nice to you nice to you. A AH totally totally Dow was whatever you need to do. Just you know a little separation between hands would be fucking awesome area very will rugg thighs fuck that. Although I have way too old for outbreak okay help probably will femur would break something bad would happen. I can't shot definitely trip anyway. We'll after the the video for doing this went viral. She claims that she was too hammered from the night before and doesn't remember doing it. She was originally charged with like misconduct harassment but wasn't sexual and so she did this and she part for punishment is. She had to write an apology letter to the the officer Chad to clean the floor of the local. spank she had to finish with her mouth. Oh Wow I have to go that far it just mopping up this pack. You know about that you've worked in places it had fucking spank. Busse does the worst job. Oh it's your turn. It's your turn to do it. Let's not Oh yes it is. We have the schedule. Fuck like Aero Katie's worked and glove porn shops apps all across the state of Florida and you have to remember. That is the state of Florida. Were Big Dick. No Up just Sarah America's wave you were gonNA work and weird fucked up porn store and any state in America where it would be in Florida right now. Just saying that you've worked at fucked up point stores. I have liked liked or not all like that. No not that I know there are probably other places where you would go out of state and go. Wow this is a different different experience. It's very strange. You have zero prostitutes in here threes. Nobody doing smack in your bathrooms. None of that is happening here. Oh Oh no one's getting raped corona bottle you're pregnant This guy's vacuum the floor. Holy Crap by all know Fayetteville was nice. It was nice but weird people would come into. Oh my God. No that's where all the weird should have it in the parking in line and everybody tried to fuck bathrooms and dressing rooms. You know you had fucked up. People would stumble by the giant porn store. Oh Yeah it was still stories short we had. Although we had all the prostitutes we had a lot a lot of gay guys because we were really close to a place called the Parliament House which is a gay nightclubs slash hotel resort. Yeah resort just you know so. We got a lot of business at night on the weekends. Wouldn't there there was any like the march madness when he came to Orlando Fuck all the bitches in town so they all wanted you know and I don't mind playing the G.. String jockey you every once in awhile. Basically basketball teams were in town so there were extra hookers yes everywhere And all the entitled wives lives of the people there scares me. It's like Oh my God bitch I with smack the wig off your head have you seen. It's very hard very large. PYREX cock extra spiky. It feels one love it put in the freezer. I use it directly from the freezer. I mean we're right out you wanted to have the really defrost on it when it comes like a sheet of ice ISOS is what just you know what I mean when it froze up right would you pull it out. We take a piece of meat out of the freezer. And it's got that layer. You want that the rough one or as soon as you when you heat it up take it directly out of the bowl of water and shove it up there so you get that anyway. What were you talking about fucking now as talking about started out some chicken waffle house chicken? What's that's right wolf house illegal grind deg- that's all right? Can't read on that tech. Oh my gosh. This fucking woman was horrified when her Jack Russell Pelosi a giant dildo from Bush. A part doubt got you. Put that down sparky. Jesus Christ. Bryce she took pictures. The fucking thing is as long as this dog cow. Yes said it looked like a stick but when he's getting closer apparently it was clearly something else clearly clearly a big fucking dog so I don't know his is doing some some park. Somebody got caught doing some public. Maybe maybe I don't know girlfriend broke up with a boyfriend or whatever and he got mad and throughout now it's probably she throughout his Asheville though. ooh Or maybe he threw it like was born by and he had to get rid of the evidence. 'cause he was to bear issues. Felt shame shamed for liking. Ask Play yes. Yeah there's a lot of male shame for as play. Maybe look further in the Bushes Mississippi body that was blessed by Black Dong bad time to park. Beat with Dick we still have down the murder women. And we have a young females prints all over it and what appears to be a dog saliva. Canine but AH I can't believe we decided to show in the play parking lots I really. It's it's crazy. Why would we go to parking lot where there's club like right there? It's odd remote. We we are doing it and we did it. The parking lot of disturbed cloud doctor who shit free concert. God It's getting late. Let's go to your favorite subjects topics literally watch me put my little eighty two my fucking mouth. I saw the fucking light bulb. Go off the head moves in. And it's time Hispanic. Sorry about that. Sure no no all right well P- another cool thing about deer Badger ditties and on Oddity Mall. When it gets cold you can get little little snow caps for your nipples? Ah for warriors. They look like they looked like beanies. And they've got a little pouf ball on tyler stance hatch and they stick over your nipple tape the I would assume glue staples. Oh God okay would feel would hurt me at all all okay everybody. We've just announced that he is going to staple who's nipples though we're stapling your devils battle. stapler oh no name name what your name is Katy Kitty Bratty sub. You can threaten. Just say whatever anyway. They're achieve their only nine bucks scene. Get yourself some of those nine bucks and a and a five dollar red swingline and where business. Oh I got. I got the the ones that we got That we used to put it on the wall Katie. Where did you might stapler Katie to Stapler stapler your Jim Nipple? Katie in your nut sack anyway said Oh we also have a bonus plan to the perfect professional national the perfect boob tape. This stuff is supposed to be like the best shit to get your boobs like Perky perky place if you're wearing something a lo- Qatar. You won't need some cleavage economic still. You're staring right at your looking right at my chest. As you're saying that what what do you what do you do. You don't have moved cool. Adrienne Rich I swear to God okay anyway so. I'm just telling you that this stuff is like like works and you should send you the post delay. Yes called booby for the week. And if you if you ever want really want to know where she gets her hugging information from where the fake articles come from that she read steel. Say if you go to our website and find the episode you will find a link so if you're interested in Alicia she's talking about you can find out more funerals grinding officer and stuff like that Katy radio DOT com. It's it's really hard to find so fucking of called there's a Mormon missionary she. She claimed that she was sexually repressed by the church she was she was so oh so she's now a popular star. Oh well for Mormon to Horford. Yes she she got. Did she get that under Morbid. Rump Sprang up no no Mormon rummage spring to have something like that they go out and have to go out into the world though they add. Yeah they're calling it. Oh fuck goes knock on your door conditions. Yeah right pedal around. I don't know what do I look like. Do I look like I have a lot of Mormon friends. I don't know I don't know either. I don't ask the Nice though I don't doc see religion. Anyway we'll add andrus. That's her name. She quickly rose to the top of the Puerto World Ores. She's recently named Penthouse pet of the month. Anthony is still around but this idea check. This article was legit and very recent seemed real ish. She's she's thirty. What I translate to you guys? It looked officially and it was from a source. It really doesn't have to too many lying stories not too bad anyway. She said there's several this fucking music the I.. Here anyway. There's several similarities to being a missionary adult film stars said but she didn't really go into web and but but she did say that the church She didn't stay the church very long and she. She did have sex with one person before becoming a mormon and she was seventeen but they said once. So you're part of the church. Premarital sex is a big fucking no bulb and there's a lot of your more heavy on the the no action on most cool fun thing but once you're married like please fuck a lot. We'll watch over. They want you to fucking multiple. Yeah they want a little mormon babies fucking tigers. Well Oh conqueror policy well that way they can feed which in the center of Salt Lake City like his gotta be like giant Queen like creature that it's the mortgage because they want to have a lot of. That's the only reason why it would be the right. Why is it that you gave birth berth? Forty two times through the blood of the innocent tally. See five kids once you have like thirteen before you went on vacation. I should say those look like they were like the ones that you would need. You know what I mean you know like when you see a Fire Day aasiya fire available. It's all fucking fucked up looking. You're not like hey load that one up barriers. Go feed him. Aw We'll have another one. Soon you get to three or four kids at the the the the queen just spit out the the fuck you feed me Jesus. Alright what you dare not to Marinate g like I mean for all we know. That's exactly what happens because we don't know I know. Oh I know I know we don't know but I know you know anyway. She didn't fuck again until she was twenty. Six Wchs was like wow and then it was like no-holds-barred literally you uncork beast. She figured out how to digital herself knows those fucking nine nine years. Oh you know what I mean and then somebody funny finally Raillard out as you said you know what I want more of this. Oh my God somebody will pay me to watch me do this tax. Yeah and surprising fix is you started out as a stripper. And then she got contacted by porn producers. She's like her family. Family still loves her but they've they've chosen not to follow her career which I can understand. Don't they like like banish you or whatever they call it In mormonism do they are still thinking. No you're still thinking of fucking amish people warminster. Don't do that no one. They don't like stop hanging out with you. If you like fall way out to event I don't really know I think sure we don't have a lot like a lot of followers of just said they probably would imagine demographics have a graphics really aren't heavy. They're probably throw you in a church in and fucking torture. You until you're better I would have picked. You would really have to wonder about somebody who has a listener listener. That was a that was really more of it. Would really you know what I'm saying. Will you know you're listening. You know what I'm saying. Can you imagine you

Katie Katie facebook officer Dick Florida Chevy Google Kherson Katy Kitty ASI Orlando Michael Models Bob Fuck murder Sean Elmo Gainey Els Ed
Change in an instant? Youve got it. :)

Podcast – Filbert Publishing

11:20 min | 2 years ago

Change in an instant? Youve got it. :)

"Art hello this is rudy jason from pocket power and i am with l. j. french Surfers podcast together. But it's not our first podcast together. But i'm gonna festive right away. I'm going to fess up right away. I am a writer. And i have written a number of years and i couldn't use my real name for this project because it's so different from anything that i have ever done before and it would totally mess up my amazon algorithms gotcha and so i decided to name t to create a pen name and that pen name is a A conglomeration of to my pets at the time. Which rudy my dog and jake who is another dog so rudy j kherson but i am actually beth ann erickson and surprise surprise considering this like the the the youtube slash podcast of babylon erickson. Anyway and go ahead. Are you going to fess up today. Shirt off fess up today. So my pen name is i almost said stage name. I'll you are a musician hint big. That's no one's going to figure out who you are now Right salt. My pen name eljay fringe and my real name is jackie screwed. Yeah i mean it's why did you go with a pen name for your well. Aside from the fact it's impossible to spill your name. Well that is a big part of it it is hard to spell screwed. It's even hard to pronounce even for me. It's kinda cool though that's unusual. I don't know too many. Yeah i know. I know so many ericsson's and my maiden name was peterson. So i mean right. Yeah you can't get much like white bread than that around here at least for sure Wonder bread wonder bread. Yeah so for sure it i. I went with L. j. fringe and decided to go with a pen name. Partly because it's kind of fun it is fun. Yeah i get to you know. Put myself in a certain mindset. And we've been podcasting. We have quite a few podcasts. In the can already and we just wanted to work on a project that was just plain fun exactly and we were both Just as a little background we were both going through kind of hard time a while back and the all these techniques. okay. I read a book okay. And that book was. Because i was trying to fix myself and i wasn't things just weren't working and i wasn't getting worked on and I was kind of floundering as i got this book and the first thing the book wanted me to do to get up at five. Am and start doing stuff. I tried i swore. I'm not a morning person. I'm flipping not a morning person. I we need to come up with something different for us. People who a don't how a whole bunch of extra time in the morning and be don't wanna get up early and do that stuff well and here's the thing you should be able to of reset anytime of the day. That's the deal. That's that's the deal right there. In any way. I went back to Way back. Ooh way back machine. When i was working with a professional copywriter and he was really big into. Nlp and i got certified in nlp copywriting and things like that. And i love. I love p. n. p. neural nervo. Sorry yep neuro. Linguistic processing program programming. Oh ho ho okay. Alpine neuro linguistic programming. And what was cool about that. Is the these guys. It's the it's the art are the science slash art. I'm not sure what you wanna call it of neuro the things that going in your head and linguistic the language that you use and to bring about profound personal change fairly quickly yes and it works and it really. Does you know in in our situation. You know the first thing would we wrote pocket power. The first thing we do is a huge concept and nearly program which is a pattern interrupt right because if you notice in your life you go through patterns. It's just like you know i for me. For example i'll get up. And i'm like i can do this. Life is going to be great. Oh yea and walk order my email and something will come in. That's just like. I don't know if something that i find disagreeable like the dude is ruined car right and then that's even worse than that. I mean that's that's not bad. You know you can get through it but you need to have these pattern interrupts to get you back on track. I kind of approached this from being really stuck in life. Not none just each day. But i mean i was stuck And so i decided the first one of the first things that we wrote about was being in a not so good relationships. And how on stuck from that. I wrote the initial title. The initial 'blanche of the series. But then when. Jackie was looking at it she was like. Oh my gosh this would work for in my situation. I was like hey take this entire thing and model it for people who are in your situation rights or who are in your former situation correct and that's Is so freeing it is it is so it is suffering but yeah that i the first thing the first thing you have to you have to recognize the behavior right in my case it was the flying off on my life isn't worth at. Oh my career is going. The you know the way out on that i am a winner amid it. I'll admit it. And i had to stop that cycle. I had to break the cycle. In your case. I had to break out of a cycle that was very unhealthy in a relationship. I was in at in. What's interesting those you kind of had have had that. It's kind of been a reoccurring theme of sorts. I'm kind of trading carefully in. it's not now correct. correct. Once i was able to make that initial break that powell if you will yes then everything became so much easier It was just one step at a time. And after that powell life started to get good again and now we'll talk about the pa the yo. It's an acronym pocket power. Pow er and in our little book this super cheap. I mean come on if you want a transformation. That's inexpensive really does work and you don't have to get up or change your lifestyle in a huge way. I mean check it out because you know. Pow e r you know. The first step is p. for power. You break that pattern in a really crazy way right and we're gonna talk about that A little bit more in a subsequent podcasts where you can talk. We're gonna discuss leave the various steps. But in the meantime we're today we're just short introduction. And why did you want to get in on this. Did you wanna write. you know. Contribute to book to well for me. It was freeing kind of a health thing. And i really wanted to be able to help other people that have maybe gone through similar experiences. I think what i like about it is is that you know you don't do you. Don't have to wallow right. It's very empowering it's empowering and you can move on with life 'cause who's got time to wallow right not me mean i if i have if i'd rather take you know take asleep in if in the morning and feel way got anyone when i feel my my patterns coming on the patterns that i do not want to rule my life. I engage in the power process. Credit and i break that pattern and in breaking that pattern is really in the way it i can gauging in. I wanna say loving yourself but it's self care how about self here. I'll take self care there you go and that's not something i did for a long time right. I was busy. I was raising my child. And and i'm helping my parents in your. It is amazing how few people take care of themselves. That's true in an emotional way. I mean i exercise. I try to eat right but deep inside. Was this self loathing. Knowing that i was a failure right and then you're not a failure. Well no in your failure wrong but in looking at you know as once i broke that pattern and say well look. You've done this. You've done that. You've done that guys anything but but when you're in that moment it's breaking that dangerous moment right okay. I'm gonna. I'm going to say right now. We have two little dogs in the room. And if you happen to hear growling. That's just mini me and old jake. Yeah so the kids. Don't forget the kid is over there playing. Oh it's the kitty. In the dog. I would apologize but i'm not sorry because i love having them here right. They make they had a nice pattern interrupt. How's that yes. We will talk more about pattern. Or do you have anything to add. This is a. I was going to say about The power and breaking the pattern. It can happen it can happen. Numerous ways But we talked a little bit about it happening during your day throughout your day whenever morning noon night. Whenever is your time of day that you need this and it can also happened with a big life changing event so it can happen in more than one way is weird. I feel like we're speaking. In such a vague generalities but we kinda half to right. Because we each of these concepts we can dig into a little bit deeper. Because it's fascinating. And what i love about our pocket. Power is it's small. it's short. I can be standing in starbucks and i can feel a pattern coming on. I can break and pow e. r. And get it done before. I get my mocha absolutely rights. It's fast and it's so powerful that it works. It does work Where can people go. Get more information about our pucca. Powerbook's up pocket powerbook's dot com their yard. We have to so far in the series and number three is just about around the corner and so we're working on this together and i hope you'll join us takahara books. I am. Beth erickson aka transition. And i'm jacky screwed aka eljay french. Thanks for tuning in take care.

rudy jason rudy j kherson beth ann erickson babylon erickson L. j jake rudy ericsson jackie peterson powell amazon youtube Jackie starbucks powerbook Beth erickson
How to Network Virtuallywith Cate Luzio

Women Amplified

18:14 min | 2 months ago

How to Network Virtuallywith Cate Luzio

"Relationships are two way street just like any good networking. This is not just about you. This is about a runner opportunity to create new connections. And so think of it. As i'm here for something there could for something. Let's make this a win win. That was kate. Lucio the founder and ceo of luminary. It's a membership based career and personal growth platform and collaboration hub. That was created to outlived and upskill women through all phases of their professional journeys. Hi there. I am celeste. Headley welcome to women amplified from the conferences for women. This podcast brings you conversations with brilliant people and they have invaluable experience and a lot of great advice. That just might help you. Navigate life in both your career at at home now. Last month women amplified added a third episode each month where our listeners can apply to be a guest and work with me to solve real life problems that they're facing either at work or in regular life it's called. That's a good question. If you haven't already listened. I encourage you to check it out. Our next episode of. That's a good question comes out later this month. And if you'd like to be a part of it fill out a submission. Form online at conferences for women dot org slash podcast. Then our producer will reach out directly if you're selected and take it from there now. This episode is a replay of a session from the twenty twenty one national workplace summit networking expert. Kate lose your share. Some of her top tips and tricks for networking virtually making connections and then nurturing those connections even while social distancing and believe it or not there are even a few advantages that only exist in a virtual environment which is timely as many of us are still working remotely at least part of the time. So let's get started. My name is kate lazio. I am the founder and ceo of luminary and one of my talk today about is virtual networking. We have thousands of members around the world and a year ago. We were an in person space overnight. We had to figure out how to touch and reach our community of members around new york but virtually globally now overnight. We had to figure out how to bring our women and our men together. Authentically an organically and so much of what luminary does is help. Develop jim actions so let me bring it back to a story from two thousand nineteen my first massachusetts conference for women. I walk into a space. There are more than ten thousand women and some men. And i felt a little overwhelmed. I feel like a banker or twenty plus years. I'm an expert networker. But what i realized in ten thousand person conference and as many of you probably realize is. It isn't always easy to network in kherson introvert extrovert. It doesn't really matter. Sometimes it feels authentic a little itchy around networking throwing global pandemic. And now he's got to do it. Virtually many of our members and many women that i talked to come back and tell me. Hey i don't like to network. I feel like it's a job. I feel like i can't help myself out there. How do you do it. How do we continue to do that. Particularly when we're all on a screen like this. This is not going away and for me. I'm actually glad not only has it propelled our business to be virtual and global. Although i'm sitting in our space today here in new york. I've learned to refrain the word. Networking networking as mentioned consume inorganic in authentic. It feels a job and it is a job. And it's critical to your personal and professional success. Let's reframe that word networking. How about thinking about relationship building joining a conversation building dialogue whether that's amongst your peers. If you work in a company if that's just creating new connections in a new community around the world it doesn't matter. Reframe that word network and i promise you it can actually help propel you into a better conversation. So how do you do that. How do you not work. Virtually and like. I said this is going to continue for a very long time. Number one is introduce yourself. We are all on different platforms whether onstream yard or zoom or webex there is a function within those platforms that allows you to chat right to work for a company. If you're part of sessions you can actually write in that chat. Why not take the opportunity to introduce yourself who you are your name your title your company where you work your linked in profile if your internal if you're an internal meeting putting your internal email because i can guarantee even if you work for a small organization you don't know everyone that while so take this opportunity to really introduce yourself and give yourself the ability to connect in a very different way this removes the pressure of having to raise your hand or speak up. Even if you're an expert networker an extrovert so introduce yourself first thing you should do every signals zoom or virtual session. You're on it takes less than one minute second never before. Even if you're at a large event would you have the opportunity to meet or no. Everyone's names so take a picture. Take a screen shot of whether it's one screen two screens ten screens because on that on those multiple screen shots you will likely see. Everyone's name first and last usually. When would you have that opportunity ever before to have everyone's names right on there. That doesn't mean you're going to connect with everyone but it gives you the ability to go back when you have time and say you know what i really needed to connect with king. I loved what kate said or we work in the same company. We've never met. It allows me be taken offline and connects at a later date but with context. Now you have those pictures versus business cards that you will likely lose over time and never remember to connect the ring. Never waste a meeting or a session embrace those opportunities to go deep and wide and every interaction that you have whether that you're talking you're raising your hand. You're asking russian. You can do that lives or you could do that right in the chat. Taste that opportunity to talk about what you're looking for out of that meeting once the purpose of your attendance at that meeting particularly a session that you know many people we tend to when we're in live events. Sit with talk to people we already know. Heart of networking is really breaking down those barriers and learning to meet new people and connect with a lots of different individuals particularly those that. Don't look like you or maybe there are in your company or in your sector or industry and it's critically important that you seize that opportunity in that meeting to say hello to follow up to talk about a later date to connect and easy way to do that like the picture is actually to save the chat. How many of you have been on hundreds and hundreds of zooms you do the zoom and then you walk away there are a lot of platforms that allow you to save the engagement that happening on the side. So if you forget to take picture forgotten to introduce yourself now you've created an opportunity to save that information to go back to and to reach out with context. How many of you get a million legion request with no context. This is an easy way to give context in any virtual networking session. The leninist is really follow up in any relationship in any connection. You must follow up. So let's go back to the business card example. You walk into a session. You walk into a large event and you take a bunch of business cards. You introduce yourself quickly. There's a little bit of small talk but how often do you really intimately connected. Not session you have to follow up after that of that. Virtually you can do that so much. Easier you don't have to put yourself out there. You don't have to actually introduce yourself if you're shy if you're introvert even if you're super busy and you just don't have the time this idea of virtual networking gives you the opportunity to follow up for many days and months to come. You may join a session and say in three months you know what. I forgot to connect with that person. I should go back to them. Remind them that. We met virtually in not event during that workshop. Or in not internal meeting and reminding that you have met. Just virtually so. Let's connect- the key to any networking or relationship-building. No matter where you are in your career what you do is follow up review the screen shots look through the chats connect with those on linked connect with those internally and say we were in that session together while it may seem a little awkward. At first you will get the hang of it. I promise you that the best part about this is no matter who you are. What you do fill playing field has been level. We are all in this together. So let's embrace it. Let's utilize it and leverage it to continue to build these networks well past the pandemic and definitely better to advance and build your career and hopefully build these networks. Well outside of where you sit today. So if you've been struggling if you also have some tips to share if some things have worked better than others let us know you're listening to a replay of the twenty twenty one national workplace summit session on how to network virtually with the founder and ceo of luminary. Kate lucille. Registration is open now for the virtual fall texas pennsylvania and massachusettes conferences. For women you can see the full speaker lineups which are incredible and you can also register at conferences for women dot org. Make sure that you check out. Women amplifies new segment. That's a good question. Where i work with women just like you from the cf w community to solve some real life problems that they're facing either in their regular life or at the office. Real people action based problem solving expert advice. Do you wanna learn the secrets behind. Some of the most successful women in the world. Listen each week as designer. Rebecca minkoff talks to women from all walks of life from ceos to artists on her podcast superwomen with rebecca minkoff. Rebecca rebecca interviews. Women like bobby brown jessica alba anti maori and shows us what life is like without the pretty filters in order to help you navigate through. Life's tough issues each week. Women talk about what it means to be vulnerable. How loss can make you stronger standing up for yourself with the workplace and the m word money each episode is funny insightful and leaves you with a piece of advice you could put into action to hit your goals no matter what they are listening. Subscribe on apple podcasts. Spotify or wherever. You're listening right now now. Let's get back to kate. So let's go to the first question for insurers network use painful but these virtual have seen like they could be easier for someone like me and each have sport introverts networking virtual. I understand that if you can't tell by now. I'm not an introvert. I'm abandonment extrovert. As i mentioned in the beginning of an expert network. Or at least i think i was. My network has five goals in the past year for the sheer reason that i followed those tips taking the picture saving the chat introducing myself but at the same time encouraging others to do that. Those connections introvert or extrovert will naturally occur. That rusher to raise your hand or speak up has now been removed so leverage this time to do it off line do it via email do it via link you can even do it right within the chat and just say hello. You will not have this opportunity forever. So let's take advantage of it next question. Do you have a go to question for going deep wide when network game like an ice breaker so the first thing i do in every single zun that i lead and i feel that i've lied about a thousand over the past year and i'm probably actually underestimating. Is i actually challenge. Who ever in that session. Five people to people by one hundred people to take a moment whole lot their phones which can seem a little awkward and take that picture versus taking spring shot from your laptop or your computer is actually breaks down the barrier people. Go what is she talking about okay. I guess i'm going to take out my camera and take a picture. It's fun it takes away a little bit of that pressure. As soon as i see that people have done that. I then encourage them to introduce themselves in the chat. You would be surprised at how many people love to do that. They may not like to talk about themselves in person all the time but when you put it in a written way it's so much easier you can include your handle if you want people to follow socially your link did the companies that you work for. It also gives people an opportunity to say why they're tending that session. What's important. Why are they participating. And i just love everyone holding out their phones because it literally breaks down that wall and people can take us if you have one virtual conversation with a person you ask for career advice. How do you follow up with an update next steps. Virtually first of all. Let's fool be were able to get their email address or their lincoln. You've had that conversation. You've saved it if son. Hello let's say in the chat or even if you were speaking at an a virtual conversation why not just in a few weeks a month depending on what that conversation was about the context was there in ask may did you tell them you needed something. Why not follow up. Follow up authentically asking them how they are and how you can help right. Relationships are a two way street. Just like any good networking. This is not just about you. This is about a runner opportunity to create new connections. And so think of it. As i'm here for something there for something. Let's make this a win win last question what do you think about short introductory personalized prerecord videos for cold calls. I actually have never received one of those. So i would love to get something like that versus justin email for someone trying to sell me something. Listen we're all trying to get the attention of others. Were all trying to raise our vows or business profiles so i actually really liked that. We know that video goes a long way whether you're on instagram. Or take time even on linked. So i think that's a new tip that i'm actually going to take away. I think personalized prerecord videos for focus. All i would say is make sure you introduce yourself and give some context around wine making mackerel call and wire using that video. So thank you for the questions. This has been an incredible fifteen minutes. Now you have the opportunity to take a couple of those tips that i just mentioned. Don't be shy. Remember to introduce yourself and tell them what you need. We hope you enjoyed this. Replay of the twenty twenty one national workplace summit session on how to network virtually with the founder and ceo of luminary cape luzio to learn more about kate and luminary you can visit luminary. Hyphen nyc dot com. And if you enjoy this podcast and i know you do. You should share it with other people. We all use a little bit of good guidance and advice right about now and if you are looking for even more inspiration urine luck because registration is open. For our virtual fall events that feature regina king laverne cox. Glenn close some ali wong honestly. The list is long and it's incredible so visit conferences for women dot org to learn more. The conferences for women is the largest network of women's conferences. In the nation they draw more than fifty five thousand women and men to annual events in boston. Philadelphia austin and california. I'm celeste heavily. And this is women amplified from the conferences for women. Thank you so much for listening. Be kind and be well.

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Episode 002: Mental Health & Emotional Wellness Through Telehealth

The Better

40:43 min | 1 year ago

Episode 002: Mental Health & Emotional Wellness Through Telehealth

"Hello welcome to the better outcome show where we explore the possibilities of a new healthcare. Each episode we bring you a conversation leaders across the healthcare industry, exploring topics ranging from new treatment techniques and interventions to novel service, delivery methods and business models. And now your host Rafi Salazar from Rehab. You practice solution, a leader in patient, engagement and retention strategy. Let's explore the possibilities of new healthcare. Hey, everybody, welcome to episode two, which is another telehealth centric telehealth focused episode. This week, however, we're GONNA be talking about something a little bit more interesting and a little bit more out of the norm of the typical traditional biomedical frame of Reference, so this isn't like a shoulder clinic that moved into telehealth or the moved virtually. This practice is a pretty interesting concept. My guests is Sheila. She's an occupational therapist out of San Francisco. The Great State of California. But her practice focuses primarily on wellness in on a specific type of wellness, being mental health and emotional wellbeing emotional wellness, so she talks a little bit about some of her practices. Some of the techniques used and uses in her day to day, and we also dive into. Some of the INS and outs of telehealth, particularly in this type of setting or practice area, where we're dealing with different types of consent, particularly with groups in group treatments, and obviously if you got three or four people on a zoom call on some kind of telehealth platform, there's just more risks to personal information being exposed. We talked about that a little bit. We'll talk a little bit about her practice in general and kind of her focus. In in her practice on creating strategies inhabits to deal with stress and anxiety. She calls emotional resiliency, boosting himself seem and confidence, and we talked a little bit about I point through a couple of questions are so. Let's say somebody's got. This issue going on at work and they're dealing with stress. How much you deal with it, so she gives a little bit of insight on that as well. Hopefully you find this a valuable and informative episode again. Our goal is you walk away from these episodes or these little snippets here. These interviews with some kind of practical advice so even if it's. What platform to user how you would use it, and thinking about consent to changing the way, you would think about delivering your healthcare services. That's our goal. So without further ado I'm going to take you right into the episode, so here's Sheila live. From Ot area. Health and wellness practice. Hey Sheila, welcome to the show. How are you doing? Hi? I'm doing well. How are you I'm doing wonderful. Why don't you start off by just telling us a little bit about yourself? You're not to tell us kind of how you got into Ot, and then where you're at now professionally, and we'll dive into the topic of hand, which is telehealth. Yeah sounds good so on inauguration therapists and I actually had a few careers The the came in ot. I worked in mental. Health is a counselor. And then I realized that that she can pay the bills, so I had a corporate career for a while, and it just wasn't meaningful through me, so I needed that I had to do something that good. That maybe joe good about going into work every day and I realized that I probably needed to go back to school for that, so elected to ot antique tea and I actually did my volunteer hours simultaneously so I get experienced in both fields in see which one seemed like a better fit, and not just like you know it was. It was perfect for me. Super holistic looked at every aspect of the person, so the him not have worked for major bantering hospitals I worked in business, but I've been working in mental health throughout my career, and I said I worked for major hospitals also works for the va which I know that you're familiar with. The thing that I really loved the about is that you're really not held down. By the traditional healthier model, the insurance reimbursement model. So I felt pretty empowered is not to do. What I felt was necessary for my clients. The same thing when I was I could see clients for as much or as little as as we need to do to get get the results we needed for them. Percent Yeah I mean I. got to go into people's homes. I got to retrofit homes like you know really no caps in equipment as long as it was appropriate, medically necessary, though all of those things were great. I also has been clinical educator, so tot, a clinical mental health class actually clinic on campus with people from the community working with occupational therapy occupational therapy students completely free clinic standalone. Riches Not Very Hamad yeah, so you know just between all my experience and be. Able to have a standalone grim, free books on health I knew that I wanted to do more with all the experience I had and I wanted to do some bang that like beyond the control limits of insurance, so that's when I. Decided to start my own practice. Yeah, and that's basically from what I can tell you're doing. You're doing wellness. You're kind of doing the whole gamut for your clients right? Yeah, exactly so you know I. Don't need somebody to come to me because they have a referral from a doctor I. Don't need a diagnosis anyone that is looking to improve their physical emotional health. I'm working with. Yeah, that's awesome and we'll catch. Put your the link to your practice, and all that in the show notes that people can find you. But. Let's move onto to telehealth so. How did you get started in telehealth? You did it at the Va right. That's when you were they rolling out initiative there. Yeah, so the actually has been doing telehealth for awhile and the move telehealth I did was from London. To, another Va facility so I worked to the San Francisco via with. A huge northern California region, so there are a lot of veterans that live. In super remote areas at would have to travel you know four or more hours to San Francisco via just in one direction. So there are several clinics throughout the VA system, so it's full hospital, but like an outpatient clinic sweeping. Exactly yeah, so several of those actually have telehealth technicians that are working at facility so I'm able to be the clinician inhabit telehealth technician on the other side, so I did mobility assessments I fit and train people on manual on our mobile devices to do a lot remotely because I had somebody their hands on so. Definitely different than what I'm doing right now. Yeah, yeah, that's a different model and it's it's nicer. The Va kind of has this this huge nationwide system and we had the same thing at the Augusta where we had the Athens Sebok. and. We could tell a health, and and it's nice. Having that could make the adjustment. Their. That's. Exactly I know that for a while now that the been trying to get people. Secure devices in their homes as well, but that's not the model that I used. Yeah, okay, so tell me a little bit about the kind of conditions. Did you treat? Was it all like physical dysfunction, or was there a mental health aspect to it? How did it work? Not for, telehealth, so what I did at the telehealth was all for physical conditions so anything from neurological conditions progressive condition so obviously a alas at mass. No any neurological conditions in which people weren't improving onto needed. Some help with mobility needs some kind of device. To be able to access home, communities yeah, so is basically almost an equipment like a wheelchair clinic or something like that. Yeah, so positioning, and that sort of thing exactly so mobility clinic so seating positioning ices exactly and I did a lot of home retrofitting fitting, but that's something that I had to be. There are some for so with the telehealth really was just seeing how somebody moves taking measurements training them how to use the devices while I'm able to watch that somebody was their hands on. Comply with my instructions. Was it the patient by themselves? A lot of times, or did they have family members or present? A lot of patients had family members and caregivers again. If you think about people who have limited mobility mobility issues, they may not be able to drive a vehicle by themselves, so they're are still having to get to that Clinton so on the art was that family training was the done along with the patient. Yeah okay. As far as that method of service delivery, or are you still doing telehealth today? In your practice? I'm doing telehealth in my personal practice, but it is surely wellness mental health. Nobility. DOMIC's yeah. I love when I talk about telehealth folks I always talk about the. To tell has at least the way I see it is. It allows us to still do those like high value High Impact Treatments so the coaching, the empowerment self management skills, and it sounds like what you're doing currently is in that area. Right you're helping. People develop lifestyle patterns, and that sort of thing. Yes exactly you know I I call it resilient skills, so relate to help you be able to deal with everything that's going on in your life. You know whether it's emotional. Current events, even physical pain. Yeah, so are you teaching mindfulness techniques that thing that kind of thing over the web addresses is a part of it, but really you know so I do individual ninety groups. Are Very small so everyone that's in a group of his already had a one on one assessment again over telehealth, so people are grouped based on what their goals are. What's important to them what they want to work on? So if it's mindfulness, it's really practical line force. How are you able to incorporate into incorporated into everyday life? Okay, cool deal I want to dive into that whole idea small. Golden groups in a minute, but so you've been on both sides on doing very much like a a physical dysfunction model of telehealth and have this new holistic telehealth out there the coaching, the empowerment wellness from your perspective, having been in both and having also practiced in the real world in clinic. What are the positives? If any I mean, you're doing that, so you? You see you see positives whether the positives of this type of service delivery basically tell a house. Yeah, so you know pre pandemic. It really was about getting access to individuals who didn't have access right, so were various reasons. People are able to access care either they live in remote areas, or they don't have transportation sometimes. They don't even have funds to need that. That travel to their nearest clinic, their nearest hostile to get services so in my mind, the number one problem telehealth is solving is access. Obviously, there are caveats have to have. The technology has to have Internet service. Vice utilize it, but you are really closing a lot barriers for people. Yes, so you? You're basically letting somebody. They couldn't get there. Get there. Early stood in their home, right? Right exactly. The actual treatments are delivering the services you're providing is. Are there benefits? Are there instances where you might choose? Tell how over in person treatment will honestly for hands on physical types of treatment and modalities. You want to see the person you. WanNa touch the percent. You WanNA see their environment. Ideally you're doing this in their helmets. Audible telehealth isn't the ideal model for it, but specifically for wellness I think again. You're breaking down even more periods, so people may not have time. To access this kind of care, and so you're really making it convenient for them in so I found with the individual. Rick Sessions in wellness that I'm able to get care claims when they need it, and that's something especially in a pandemic that is. Impossible to do in person now we're at least in cal- measures where we can start providing karen person gathering, et Cetera, but now for over two months people felt socially isolated, and they're just finding somebody who's available like figuring out. Who should I talk to WHO can help me? Where are they? Are they even taking new clients all these things? Passage. Capacity, you know not. Everybody's set up for telehealth like yeah, we can't see you, but once the so four wellness I think it's been really convenient for people to be able to access their, so their laptops or tablets on learn new skills, get support, and especially the compete the community component I. Honestly, I haven't done in person groups at all in my active in wellness, because it's been an individual model and with telehealth. telehealth I wasn't expecting to do. Groups and the groups were just so successful than I realized that you know there's affordability factor, so it's easier for people to do. Work Groups because Haas less than an individual session. I'm doing a lot of groups as well. That's easier for me to utilize tied to touch more people. They really just have to set out a time. There's no travel. They just make that one time commitment. Of an hour whatever it is scheduled on to tune in and getting a sense of community, learning a new skill taking time for themselves, which again who can't pre pandemic bait might not have had time to do with travel that becomes like a two hour. Again your card thirty minutes there thirty minutes bags. Appointment is exactly. Now, you mentioned something about cost in California, are there. Barriers are issues around reimbursement or a lot of the work that you're doing is covered private pay or covered by insurance. How's that working for you? So you know I. Am a cash facelessness so I try to provide my clients with the Super Bowl so that they can get reimbursements. I'm recently started accepting the HSA FFA funds to make it easier for people so. I can't really speak to how problematic for certain individuals I personally just make it easier as people are worried about insurance reimbursement, and they can't afford sessions than again to utilize groups with people with similar goals and I have like pretty pretty low slung sliding scale fees. Because you know it's, it's easier again for me to see more people. I don't WanNA turn anybody down. That's having financial hardships. Yeah, no, that's a great point I was talking with somebody a colleague at the University of the day and I said something like you know I feel like cash, practice or private. Pay Your removing that third party. Payer is really the way healthcare should be because you're. The the decisions. The incentives are all aligned. But the back colleague of mine, said well. You know you really have to worry about people that just can't afford rate. Services without some kind of insurance coverage, so the idea of being able to to not turn away people or have some sort of really low sliding scale or offer groups really helps kind of. Advance that issue that you know there are people that legitimately can't get care in they. They just can't afford it and whether or not their insurance pays for it. They probably couldn't pay the copay or or whatever so. Exactly some sort of this. There's there's some option for them right. Ray and and it really really does depend on the insurance as well like you know state to state. Yes, I know that there are different hurdles that just insurance is themselves. They're just so different, and you know their reasoning for why they'll except when playing tonight, another can be pretty overwhelming and confusing so for me. I have luxury my practice to say you know what I'm going to make it easier for you and your air, no matter what. Yeah, so tell me tell me about these groups that you're running. How do you? How do you structure them? What does what does it Tell Health Group for I? Don't know what's what's your most popular on what is what does that program look like? And what can patients experience or clients experience when I go there? So again this is. Something that's relatively new for me since shelter in place because what's not expecting to to do groups in this format but I'm starting with four week sessions, so we meet once a week at the same time every week for four weeks. As. I mentioned before everybody gets you know initial one on one assessment including like a personalized care plan and based on their goals, their other individuals, and were meeting at the same time for four weeks so each week there's a new topic a new theme. New Skills at you're learning, and typically you have again. You're taking away from it, so it really varies again on the individuals and what they want to work on at the end of the four weeks before that last session I do another one on one with each individual's eats a flight to continue working for another four weeks or saving wanted to know just Kinda take some time, and we're on the new skills that they've learned, so you know we again. Again depending on what is important to the individuals, usually, the first group is super basic, and really dining into self-care whites worms to take care of yourself and we start breathing I. think breathing is one of the most important and free and easy tools that we have access to anywhere and everywhere we are, so we practice controlled breathing and teach fusible strategies that are easy to remember her easy to do. An annual end up with homework assignment so for the next week you're practicing these different reading strategies and measuring high for doing it after doing it. Yeah, no that sounds that sounds awesome so. It seems like the majority of the people that are coming into these programs released. Reaching out to you in your program are not. They're not in crisis mode right so now. It's very much like a proactive. Proactive strategy. Yes, I you bringing that up, so if somebody is in crisis as an individual practitioner as an occupational therapist on me, not be the right for that person so I definitely individuals who have their own psychotherapists who are also working with psychiatrists in. Other medical specialists but crisis especially group format. It's not the right says if somebody's having. Yeah, if somebody's in crisis, you know I again having in. Inpatient Psych and outpatients like I have all those resources, so if somebody comes to me and they need. They need a higher level of share that I not able to provide able to at least give them the resources, so they know the next us to take yeah. Alright, so, we've talked about this idea of proactive care. Can you talk a little bit more just about? The role of wellness Ot's role in it. How you? You've talked about some of the strategies you help your clients with. But how does it work like say say I want to. I'm feeling a little stressed about work. Let's say maybe I'm having problems with. Or stress related to work related pressure or something like that. What might be a first step? Is it coming to see somebody like you, or is it trying to do something on my own? How does it work? Okay so let let me clarify clarify Somebody is seeking support, and they're having specific issues. What are their first steps? Yes, yes. So you know, let's let's be real. You're occupational therapist as well so most people don't even realize that an occupational therapist can help them with certain issues. Sometimes, even the physical issues are not even aware of what that is exactly right. I will see that that that's definitely a problem. Helping people understand that distinction between what is occupational therapy. I believe you asked question just before so I, think it kind of fits into this answer of wising ot so important in the smallest space is that we addressed the physical and emotional health issues right, so we're covering allotted round that other providers may not be able to access because you're limited by their sober practice that being said there's also just like that barrier of awareness of services available to people I. Don't think that there are too many people out. Out there that realize what ot can really do for them. Heart of mine were is really I'm trying to get it out there. I'm using things like social media probably not very successfully social media to educate people that are reaching out to local community groups straight so especially with mental health Noni as one, and I've worked in my free clinic while when I was teaching to really get clients over to me, reaching out to local organizations that provide care in our on this I'm reaching out to local companies and businesses, and especially with the Star of Canton. in this country with tight restrictions that we have in our area, I started just providing rigorous I knew that people needed support some like okay. What can I do started using zoom to just provide free groups or different types of relaxation strategies and reaching out to communities like no strings attached just hey. I think everybody needs community. Everybody needs support in. Everybody would benefit from learning a new coping skill. So you kind of help provided the value out there. Let let it speak for itself. Right people this is this is something that could do after this right. Yeah. How do you see telehealth and we'll tell? Health in regards to your practice in wellness and holistic therapy got his proactive health approach. How do you see telehealth playing a role in that? After this panic? Because at some point, hopefully, the doors will open a movie background, no shaking hands with each other. Do you see a role for telehealth in a practice like yours? Going forward I definitely do again. Pre Pandemic didn't even think about utilizing telehealth again I love like that face to face contact i. I feel like you to see you in your environment, even if we're just focused on emotional wellness, because it tells me so much, but I it's it's really working well. I'm getting positive. Feedback from Heinz I'm really realizing that is filling. This gap for people are busy may have transportation issues, or whatever the reason is that they're not seeking on this type of care so I already use telehealth indefinitely. Even you know as a restriction start to roll back into we start. Providing face to face care. Yeah and like I mentioned earlier. I think the the the ability to offer as high impact. High Value Treatments and services over telehealth hopefully will allow it to be one of those things that gets reimbursed later in the. We're able to continue into the future. Because it does like you said increases access decreases. Cost is just a lot of benefit student. What are some of the drawbacks that you've noticed practicing? Well, I mean technology is the limiting factor right link technology is bringing us resource, but it's also the limiting actor, so you have to have certain equipment. You need a smartphone or tablet or a computer. That has access you need high speed Internet in order to actually hear me in real time able to see my face for P. to be able to see your face. So for individuals that aren't tech savvy or don't have the support to set it up for them. Or again they don't have these actual resources to access. This, equipment and Internet basically, they're not going to be able to partake and. It's just not gonNA work. Yeah and then I was actually reading an article the other day a research article in like I think it's published by HP, but it was about latency in telecommunications, and what that does to patient perceptions of healthcare services. Perception in general, and it's funny because you talk about. Seeing somebody in real time hearing somebody in real time. And we take that for granted in in the clinic when you take that and put that on the Internet, and you're talking about somebody who's already having. Maybe they're a little unsure about the technology and figure out how it works then on top of it. You're skipping. You're freezing or or whatever? That being very frustrating too soon to say the least. From a treatment modality from a treatment perspective, what of the main drawbacks obviously can't touch me. But. Are there any big things that you've got when you got into? Hell Tallahassee like Oh. Wow I didn't account for this or this was. Something planned for. So heart of the for firm. What you just said is active. Listening is huge in what we do. Period is not but especially in. Mental health care in wellness. It's very important in so again. If there's that latency than there is some disconnect, so it's harder to really ill that trust with your client if they're not feeling heard literally. And, I contact is huge so again when I'm doing groups. I need these groups to be small, because I'm WanNa make sure that I'm seeing the client and the client is seeing me, and there's so much that we get from nonverbal body language right so I'm able to assess release somebody's attention. Are they checking out? Are they understanding what I'm talking about? you know, is it? Is it really hitting? So being able to assess someone's response to treatment is really really important. Ender can be. Be a barrier with telehealth again with the latency, or if you have this like they grew parcel lightings off for the pictures. You know a little bit then. You're missing so many components that you would be able to gauge if you're in personal with your client. Yeah, now. That's a great point, have you? Do you run your clients through kind of like a tips sheet before they get started position here? Make sure there's no bright light behind you practical tips that you give to folks i. I don't know if this is the most effective way. But I like short videos. I don't create videos, but you know ice our youtube for like. In tips because you know someone else already did the work and did a good job of explaining it, so you know alison over videos again. That requires you to be text that writes you access in open it up, but I find strategies like that are butter, i. you know with telehealth there are. There's even more documentation for the client. There's even more things for them to sign I feel like I have a little bit. You're hit works that I'm sending them after our group. That reviews what we did. It's them things that they can continue to work on which that might be something that we're going through in person if it was a in person session, so I find like the videos are just a different way of delivery, so there's just not more to read more to review and. Exactly so. Short tutorial videos is usually what I send her. Oh No, that's a great strategy. How `bout you kind of mention about there's more documentation for patients. Arrive some of that. I'm sure there's some there's some kind of consent involved, and there's some kind of right to to video right. Yeah, so you know I probably have a little too much redundancy in my documentation but. I have obviously you. We've got the hypocrisy in privacy policies. That! We need to provide our patients wet, but I'm doing both individual in route, telehealth and Mike Group telehealth also has individual telehealth. And the language is different because in groups go. There are other individuals that are participating in. You have to maintain privacy as well so I've got. If you're doing groups, you have two sets of telehealth forms that you need to read and sign. And then I also have because when I'm doing my intake, will look through everything in sign everything because things will change and I might be able to work with you in person, so I also have the consent form that allowed. It's different. telehealth is different than in Ersan rate, so I'm getting new clients that I. Haven't actually been able to see in Saas in Kherson, so I have the forms were being able to treat them in person as well so it's you know kind of piles up. No one's yet. Yeah, yeah! No. We were part of the work that I do with with the Department behavioral healthier as we've basically set something up assistant for Talal for them and their big thing was about. How do we get consent and consent for Telehealth, and like you even have to worry about people being in the room? Right that might not. An accident or you don't want to have necessarily have access to the person's personal information, and all that exactly so that data onus is on me, but I also have to make sure at my clients, respecting those rules as well so they're in private space where no one could overhear the conversation or see what's going on Oh especially in groups I'm sure yeah, Chris, exactly there are other people talking. Already well any last minute, practical tips or advice that you'd give to clinicians that might be wanting to start a tell Alf, practice or start into this realm virtual service delivery. I'd say definitely. Take the time to educate yourself on all the different technology. That's available. You're probably GONNA have to invest in a few things. You know you want a camera. That actually will show your face early. You might need to purchase lighting. Microphone headset for sound again. You want to reduce any of the barriers to care especially using technology now. Some people might need even to upgrade their Internet service. And there's so many platform choices out there. So you know, take some time. Play around I. Definitely did mock sessions groups? I have a really supportive, basic family and friends that actually to this day I'm still doing my my practice groups with them because they want to keep doing it. They're not my clients. They're just my just my friends reaping the rewards. And so you know so I've been doing that for for a while. You really want to test things out when you're doing it over telehealth because you have to really understand. What is Mike client seeing? What is my client? Hearing to understand so my tests groups were really just I'm going to do this whole group in front of you and I WANNA get feedback. How can I make this what? We're some problems that came up so you? You have to practice? You can't just jump right in without taking the time to test everything out. And make you. You have to see what it's like on the other end or your client in for it to be successful. Yeah, now that's a great tip practicing ahead of time. Are there any resources that you would Santa Clinician to? That might be interested in telehealth. and. So. Yeah I keep probably just email it to you. There is an occupational therapist who actually compiled a list you know often with with telehealth I think of online on my gosh driveway, the HR systems. Yeah so you know there are different platforms for writing notes for taking payments, you know even insurance billing, and some of those actually have telehealth attached to them. Integrated. Yes! There's many ways to do it right. It's really upset. How complicated you want it to be and how much you're willing to stand there. There are lists all over I I've looked lists. Read Articles I. Like combs through all the different professional groups I may I posted at stands. I tried out all the different There is not who wrote an article who? WHO HAS RE COMPREHENSIVE LIST? I can send over to you. Find it and I'll send it over to you if you WANNA maybe linked fat, and I'm happy to share my experience with anybody and you know they're like technology is forever growing rate forever changing so if if you're listening to this like a month from now, there might be a new platform exactly. Sprung up. Our, there might be an issue with a platform that we weren't even aware of so you know I would like. Ask questions if you're on facebook group just that the question out there people have been super supportive in giving their experiences, and you know yet again. You have to test it out because it depends on your ovulation. I got People referred me to certain platforms, and they were mostly for pediatrics. Really just didn't work for my client base so like you know. There's no one place you're GONNA have to do a little bit of research, and you're not to test it out, but again I'll send you the one link that I found really useful. Yeah, COOL DEAL! Well. Where can people find you? On the web on social media, all of that good stuff. Yeah, so I am my website is Ot Bay, area, dot, com, and I. You know that's four clients, but if you want to reach me as a therapist I. AM happy you know I've been doing it for a long time. I still mentor. My old students and I'm happy to take time, said talk to any new or SEASONED OTC that are interested in doing what I'm doing. You know it's like you gotTa camp. Act Somebody helped you along the way, so. Might contact information is on there. If you WANNA reach out to all of my social media, links are on there as well. I'm on Instagram facebook linked in. So. Center, all the places. Yeah, so you know my name is Sheila Atlanta me up. Probably websites the easiest place to start and everything on there. Okay Great. We'll put all that information in the show notes to Sheila. Thanks for taking the time. Hope you enjoyed that interview with Sheila from Ot Bay area, mental health and emotional wellness clinic out of San Francisco. I think one of the things just really listening to this interview is preparing it now. That kind of struck me to that didn't mention in the INTRO was the entire idea of. How the technology impacts our clients, perception of the services that we deliver and the services they receive. We mentioned it a little bit how? It's very difficult to pick up micro expressions or nonverbal cues and other subtle. Emotional and really human characteristics that are patients might be exhibiting. that. That's difficult for us to pick up the screen writing. We even talked about how some of that the latency effect, and how maybe you've got a platform or an Internet connection that spotty, and you have the client or you? Your Internet service is causing the session to skip or freeze, and how that can impact a client's perception of not only the quality of the healthcare services that they're receiving your competence clinician. I was reading an article. I think I mentioned it in the interview from it was published by HP. But it was. It. Aimed to study what happened or what happened to the perceptions of individuals who receiving? Over telehealth when the latency increase when there was some more drag, or maybe throws a little bit, or there was a little bit of a delay. And What is interesting? Is that the folks that were on the receiving end of communication? When the latency increase and they were using things that I'm not prepared to talk about. Hers and microseconds and all this kind of stuff. But when the the takeaways as the latency increased the people, the individuals, receiving the the communication began perceiving the communicators of the person, doing the talking as less attentive, and in some cases less intelligent because of the delayed response so again it's something that we need to be concerned about a cognizant was as we set up telehealth systems and and methods for delivering care virtually to clients is that? As much as we may or may not want to admit it. Technology glitches can negatively really negatively impact our clients perception of the quality of the services. They're receiving and even our skills as a clinician. So. That was one of the bigger takeaways. Now hitting me so anyways. I hope you enjoyed this interview. I hope you pulled him nuggets away from it. See in two weeks until then be healthy safe. I will talk to you then. Thanks for listening to the better outcome show where we explore the possibilities of a new health care. Is that you walk away from each episode informed equipped and empowered to push the boundaries in your own practice or business. We want to give you the tools to help you build strong long lasting relationships with your patients and clients helping meet their goals, improve their health and achieve better outcomes. More and more at www dot, re have you practice solutions Dot Com? We'll catch you on the next episode.

Telehealth California San Francisco Sheila Atlanta Ot Bay HP Va Rafi Salazar joe University of Instagram technician DOMIC Clinton Kherson Rick Sessions Augusta
#258  Harmonica Gag

Kinky Katie's World

1:01:25 hr | 2 years ago

#258 Harmonica Gag

"The following program contains adult content Crasnick language of a sexual manner, completely irresponsible advise, along with some things, you'll wish you could Anisur. If you are under the age of eighteen easily offended, or like to judge others based on their sexuality, please turn us off. For those who remain enjoy and have a nice day. Because I was fucking the shit out. Kiedis ten nine eight seven six. Fine. Katie's bleed starts now. Are you ready? Trust. He wanted to play dress up. Don't you? Come on L mode. And now live from rural thirty four studio. I bring you girl that can always find time in the day did fuck your she has your host the one, the only kinky Katie. Hello. Hello, and welcome to the show. We are coming at you live from raspberry you're live dot com, KiKi radio dot com. Embryo, chaos Dutton yet. We also coming from the lovely rule. Thirty four studios in Tampa, Florida dob. Anyway. This is katie's role. Number two, eights. I'm your host key, Katie with me as always my favorite tolerate giving. Let's reflect toy Mr. Siu. Sure. Yeah. We also have a new episode of rule thirty four and also some tits man, that's kind of girl after my own heart. Yeah. Girl after my heart. Really? I don't mind the ones committees, that's fine with me, too, because what you have with smaller moves is generally have a very nice nipple a lot of times. There's a nice Schober attached to say and nice nipple referred to as jober. So if you ever hear the term chokers that's trademarked by you said it. I. Years and years and years ago. Right. So, yes, Schober, and their fat little liberals, little big nibbles kind of, you know. Like a baby bottle nipple. Okay. Meal. Joe jovic. She's cheating, her nipples. Those are Trevor stay are quake Laureus turkeys done. That's over. Yeah. And that's and that's woman with some very small. Yeah. Yeah. She really makes up for it with a strong nipple showing Sani. It's yeah. Oh why they were Daywear nice now gone. I know they're gone rest in peace Bubis. Sorry. Breast cancer sucks. Yeah. It does poor girl. I know didn't mean to bring down. They don't know her. She's still alive. That's yeah. And that's those glorious nipples cutoff. And if she got. No. As you send you probably would have what I'm saying, like, like she is definitely the kind of person that, would, you know, she knows people that would buy them. Can I hang onto those Nevels by by any chance, do you mind if I just keep them? Please. Keep them in the freezer. Plug. I'm awful. Sometimes sometimes I am. Well as you and I went to go see big j o Kherson last night. We also met another new. Comedian Shane was that his name? Yeah. For yet. Yeah. Share I don't remember his last name. Yeah, we'll look it up. Anyway, posted pictures on Twitter on actually Facebook. No. Okay. No. Not strictly boobs on Twitter. Really? Well, I wasn't really happy with two photos. Okay. Blissett you. I know you'll put out some very questionable quality photos and you say, well. Sweetie. Come on. You can do better than that. I put out some, some morning ones the other day, everybody loves it but I'm rough. It was his Friday, Friday morning. I hadn't showered I'd like raccoon is so. Yeah. Yes. Jail. So definitely worth seeing if he's in your town. Very funny. Good good show. He's obsessed with big black cock, well, or as we say, BBC's. Yeah. You know. Really isn't obsessed with Black Hawk out. Really, really? Really? It's all the rage now. Time probably always been all their age. I'm sure we know I don't know anyway. Oh my gosh. Oh, Lord, just reminder Tampa Bay screams is coming August. So you'd better come check it out to three day event this weekend and you can get your tickets now and Timothy screams dot com and I'm going to be there and Saturday s he's going to be there to Tampa Bay screen screams is a convention, put on my visit Sean Donahue also director, and I'm in some of his movies, and he also does an eye newbies with Chris woods. And they do things together. Anyway, it's a convention. I like how you throw that out at Homer. Roddick do things together. Oh, that's nice. That's not what I. They do work. Phil together they do things together. Stuff. It's. Behind the camera film at all the some of its own film, the stuff they do. It's a horror convention for like the diehard eighty styles slasher movies, like eighty eighty seventies sixties cults exploitation spit on your grave, that kind of thing. Yeah. And there's going to be different difference eleven celebrities that are going to be there this time. And if you wanna buy buy a horror movie, a brand new horror movie that just came out on VHS. You can do it there. That's right. They are going to have some VHS m you can get some of my movies that Iran, contra, even like four of them out. Six six. Yeah. Climate earth, girls are sleazy art is coming out this. Yeah. I've got to scenes in it than they are sleazy. Dominatrix at one. I'm just a girl. He gets out of shower, overly typecast out definitely typecast after I get scared by nigga. You'll see. Voter, same thing. You know. Scared me. Let's fuck. It's, it's fight flight or fuck. What are the other all three? I don't know mix it up to try to run while I fight and suck your tech kind of a neat trick. Well, you know, if he's like a little guy could lift him up, and just shove them in your mouth like over shows like as you're running, and hopefully you don't bounce too much bite. Wow. Let's really. But I have this whole image in my head of that happening. So, yeah. Okay, can picture it very vividly. Smoothies are good. Yeah. Well, you guys posted on on what's going on. Yeah. Sure. You will. Of course, I will. I will talk about ad nauseam no blow here. Ten times. Get ready kids. That's written town, right at town, the next twenty times you hear about it. Tallies. Fucking August, in it's only June. So, you know, there's going to be several months. Show up to the fucking Jesus Christ. Right. You know. You know, come say, hi. I don't charge for pictures that's ridiculous. And I'm gonna have my movies out to people got to make a living. I guess, but I can't you know how many times have we got? So we're like charged pictures. Okay. I don't need one. I feel like it asshole. If I did you know, yes, you would be an asshole. But I mean when people ask me they want me to sell autographed pictures, like in send it to them and stuff like that. That would just cover your costs. I mean you got a man rent and send it. So I mean, I think it's totally okay to I mean we're not like fucking rolling into. We don't charge anybody for everything that we don't have advertisers anymore. No, we're not, you know, so really charging somebody to have to send them picture to cover your costs. There's nothing wrong with that. But if you're at a convention or something. Yeah. No take the fucking picture, Christ. I'm just having a u onto your like that excites me like oh cool. Yes. I mean there are people that are brought you paint. He's one dude. Yes, it was awesome give gifts. And I got like a twenty dollar Bill, and like people here. And I was just standing there, I was wearing you don't want maybe I might wear that outfit. Money's not required. It's appreciated exactly where my military off in if it fits. You have a new outfit weirdo. You got the little strappy digging that you got. I love this dang. Oh, yeah. What's your prob you like to think I haven't even seen an idea? You pictures. No, no. Your Twitter, followers seen. I haven't seen it go. Fair. For home. I'm home every night. That here you work a solid forty hours a week. Jesus. Then it has to be in the kitchen while you're sheer. No. You know, hey whatever. I'm just he's too something. Oh, see what happens. When you bug me. Yes. You see. All right. See anyway, I don't know about this. And if you guys did then shame on you for not telling me and if I didn't know about it. I would have gone already. There is a hidden gem in south beach, Miami, if you down there, and they've got the biggest collection of erotic art, and a few things that might confuse the normal person just we were wanting to check that out several times that we never went. I know the freedom to fuck. It's called. What's it called? It's called the world erotic. Art museum pretty easy. Pretty easy. Erotic. Title study, Roddick are Dame that we were going to check let lower that actually I've walked past that place. Yeah. Several times I've just never got in your data Miami a lot go, go. No. And, and, and it's really easy to, I don't remember where the fuck it is. But south reaches only so big really. I think it's, it's on. I think on Franklin like I'm the corner Franklin Franklin. I think Franklin Franklin motion. No, no. You're are you talking about the Cottam? Remember they were the ball anymore. That's not all the street. Forget ever just like. People who live down there now. Yeah, they do you move away for a few years. And you just forget everything. Yeah. Using I know it's very strange Lincoln road mall. Thank you Lincoln road now Lee Road. It's a it's not a mall. That's what I'm saying. It's a fucking street. They call it Lincoln road mall, but it's not a fucking mall. That's what I say. Kevin Smith is not gonna come walking by with fucking Jay muse. No, not that kind of fucking mall. There's no athletic not. Katie's really big Kevin Smith fan. I like to. He's so skinny now. Well, that's what happens when you have a heart attack. It almost I. You know, scares you into Balka go to lose weight as a vegan now. Jeeze. Is out as being in for a long time. Fucking die. I'm glad he's still with us. Well, yeah. No. So am I he can write the powerful scripts? He. No his stories are awesome. But he has a Kevin Smith. Way of writing fucking dialogue like right here you go. Kevin Smith, right? Right away right away. But it fits his movies. I like them anyway, to yes, awesome. I'm really excited for Jay and silent Bob. Yes, yes, they finished filming. And they said it should be coming out soon. We'll see. We'll see what happens. I mean, we've we've we went and saw them at I Landau at, yeah. Like a it was like a table discussion show and silent Bob are getting older. Questions are getting old. They just literally set up a table on stage and fucking told some stories answered any questions you had it was kind of cool, and they called me out, because I was are in Batman you girl in the back girl back, I'll shirt with big tents love it. Thank you. I do I get starstruck and stupid. I really do. I, I don't. I'm not myself around somebody good last night. Trying. I was trying to be told you what's gonna happen for Alan. What I already told you already told you are not going to ruin it for the audience for when does happen. I told you I have a total technique into making you feel comfortable around anybody we should meet and a future go. You won't know it until it happens to you. When it happens to you'll know and you'll go, yeah. That kinda scared. The yeah. Okay, I'm okay you'll no longer be intimidated. Okay. That's when I, I walk up before you tell them, you're having them. Please don't say they she gets really fucking out of shape, no matter how bad it is. Don't fucking say anything. Yeah. And then watch your faces you walk up and realize what I just told them. I'm not looking forward to this at some point he's going to pull these shenanigans, and it's going to very much for me complete. You will not think anymore. You will be nervous around the you'll just be mad at me. And the ice will be broken, and you'll be a lot better. Yeah. So you're going to get ready for good radio whenever show. I'm on that happens. Well. Well, you know what? Great great. Yeah. Awesome. That's, then that's just that's just more of me. Do you now have your little scared look the next time we're going to meet somebody? Just look on your face to Terry Quanta. We'll scare you. Adia create if you smell anything, don't don't say anything to her. She's really self conscious about it. I fucking awful. Yeah. J or pie laugh is as off. Yeah. Yeah. Especially after you freaked out yelled at me great. Oh, yeah. So from now on he's just gonna always things that I was thinking, even though a yellow you because it's not true awesome. Which reminds me we checked out his, his. Podcast in and, you know, our listeners, you guys definitely enjoy his show, legion of scale Skaggs, its its way out there. There's a lot of politically incorrect. Actually, that is their call to make it the most offensive show that can possibly create and they're really good to be an offensive. So you know if you like being offensive and defensive stuff listen away. And they have they have special guests on each week, each episode, and who are very outer the as small very out there, the last one, they did from the place before they got kicked out of it was a big gas was Michael J. Yeah. Yeah. That was on the sixth. I think so. Yeah. Could stuff if you like us you'd probably like them. We don't we don't we don't we don't push the line. Racially at all news, time, just because I don't like being a dick like that. But, you know somebody has to make jokes about race. It has to happen. The pendulum has to swing back at some fucking point, and our lives. It cannot stay this fucking sensitive in the only way, it's not gonna stay the sensitives that people make jokes about things. Yeah. When they're not being hateful. Exactly. On hateful joking kidding will warn you about the bear, though, scattered filthy mouth. She's a you didn't see that part. Either. Like the whole crowd started singing with it. Oh my God. The route that the crowd is well, mostly white, but it's integrated. So these are people have all racist colors. Creeds listening to the same out there shit. Good stuff. I it's like I felt a little uncomfortable vote debts the no. No, I was just like, oh my God. Public anything that makes you feel something when you watch it to me. Good light. You know, unless unless it's just you hate like this is like I just hate this. That's about the only thing I don't wanna feel you know what I mean. Yeah. But if they're making me feel like like that weird. Oh my God, I can't believe what they what you maybe feel something so good job kudos here job. I'm mostly dead inside except for laughing. So. She's fake emotion. I pretend I care, sometimes because you're a psychopath l little bit. You're not do you are not. What? Sky is blue you are sweetheart. I know I am when it affects me. What it doesn't affect me. Yeah. This shows to you. We're. If we went right, real quick. Anyway, back to that museum if you want, if you want to go there, they'll Lincoln me on the website, and you'll be able to get the address and hours and shit and go if you wanna see some dirty stuff and stuff from yields machination, yield masturbation, and shit like that, exactly. Probably a really great idea. It's not splitters. You can completely make it smooth. It's just going to absorb bacteria. That's fucking problem. But what are you going to do? Woman had to fuck back into the dark ages. You know what I mean something? Oh my God. I'm having fun. Ooh. Good old porn hub, they're interested in buying tumbler to restore the adult content. Really? Yeah. Because back in December tumbler the stopped abandoned content. And a lot of people were very upset. We, we I started to set up a tumbler paid for you. And then I, I did at one point. Oh, yeah. But then I just got too many balls to juggle, like I can't throw the fifteenth ball in their balls and you like no. No. Just leave my nuts alone. Don't work the ball on the ball. I get excited. So that's exactly why don't handle my nuts. But what I'm saying I do have that in a complete lack of coordination. Cool. It's kind of funny that we're talking about this because we little story coming up later about some. Testicular. Trauma now where you around. Around that you're saying as home Katie heard enough. That your Indian name my other one. Your native American name was suck or. It changes, every tribe you go by they have it for you. You know what I mean? Leave your Mark. It's different than Apache and Cherokee so it translates slightly different now. Well, there you go. Yeah. So it's not. She's kinds anyway. But a porn power hub one is they've Dubai. They gonna gonna revoke. Yeah. We'll, they're going to revoke the ban, and they're going to give, you know, all pervious backer. Nipples your gaping. Pussies your swing jocks. Whatever most people will use tumbler for hookups anyway. Right. Tumbler is like a Facebook. I mean like a Facebook, but it's like a Twitter whatever you put your shit up. Oh, yeah. We all share it. And you can post this posts, I oppose radios, you know what I mean? Oh, well, see, I've never been on it really. It's cool. It's got all kinds of shed on it. When you tumbler was the shit win hat they allowed. It's all content. It was like the best place to see like, like, you know, Jenny Bob next door. Wanna put up some pictures of nudie pictures of themselves, you know, because because they're slingers, and I wonder how many people think of us when I see that commercial. I love. Know if you've ever seen the there's a sling commercial. A couple and they do this whole thing, where they're slingers and it's so fucking. And every time I see it. I know I know for a fact people immediately. Right when it comes okay? You pull right away candle. That's musk fucking awesome. Cap assertion. Talking about. We're talking about porn hub on tumbler tumblers was the way to go. I haven't been back since a limited. No reason to go there. Now. You know what I mean? Well, it's now whatever, yeah. Twitter tender. Nakedness titties. Twitter Twitter without horn is I mean boring. Well, that would just make it a political yelling match like right now we have social yelling matches go on back and forth. But at least there's fucking parties book, at least. Your fucking asinine ary. You know what I mean? I have I sometimes if I if I have time, I'll just start scrolling through who I follow, and I noticed that a lot of people that I follow re tweet so much chicks with Dicks. I had skid Sumati video clips of it's like. There you go. There you go. You're, you're, I think you're heaviest followed demographic that you follow our, our, our ladyboys for share, like four shore. Transsexuals are like your heaviest heaviest following category. Like you follow them. Yeah. You're like. Do you like it would think you have more of them on your follow less than than rat? The razz data has on his and that sounds now he'll take sow that probably come on. Right. You're right about that. That again in your head. And you know, maybe out loud. Yep. Anyway. You'll have fun with that one, sir. To go to episode of rule thirty four. And when we come back, I am, I've got a story about some. Not so nice things anyway. So joy. And we'll be right back. It's time for a tasty and refreshing snack. Slam lately for the past few years, I guess, for their their, their hatred of the LGBTQ community, for gay people, imposing their their, their morals on everybody else's sex. Life seems a miracle, oh there's been America has been a miracle game and protesting protesting protesting at the restaurant on Wednesday morning. He got a little hungry. And he looked around to see if there was any other protesters, kind of, you know, checking them out and he they're paying attention. Well, he slipped in and bought a chicken sandwich. Nobody will notice. Mirrored at that you're cashier and said, this is probably gonna taste terrible by hate. Delicious chicken behold, three seconds later, the miracle. Had occurred after one bite. He found he was no longer. The smiling cashier suddenly became attractive and you've overcome with the urge to hit on her is the pickle brine. It is, and it's delicious lemonade. Really fucking lemonade. I will say as soon as he left through the front door. He said he was in a daze. He fell to his knees and lifted his hands and is to the heavens in gave his raise that he was no longer gay. Well. Your. Even today reports say that shortly after he was turned back gay by eating. So the burger Kay want again. No. Back to. Looking back to. Oh, yeah. To live on her husband, you're live dot com. Radio dot com. Nets Twitter radio dot com. Angie, mail dot com. Don't forget about. And yet, and I'm also unfed life so far. I have managed not to get myself in trouble and. Yeah. In trouble. Oh, god. That's such a plane picture. Throw your ass out. Really? Knicks problems. We'll put a carrot, my but. You're, you're Retha. Thank you. A lot of older dudes in this area that are that like diapers ROY. Like the same Pete Clearwater area. Yeah. Typers down there. Apparently they do. There's definitely, there's a lot of us that are in a diaper, like taking a survey, or you like asking people on the street. How are you? Is this anecdotal or have you done this study? These are the profiles that I see on fetlock because they say what they're into. Armendariz area. Live it. Several does is. Yep. That's what you're into so. Ellisalde have pictures of it, too, is just. All right. Of them in divers. Oh, yeah. Do they do they need to soil them, or is room to the whole baby thing? Some of them just are sissies, some of them are just earn inventory. But they, you know, depends DP you're kinky. Steve their Dave God, damn it's Dave. I was just sent this, this message that I told that I, I should instruct people if you're if you're ever lonely. Okay is this from an end sell? No. This is not Herman and sell. Okay. Anyway, it says how to fuck a hole in your bed. The instruction. Wait, wait, wait wait, I'm gonna guess make a hole in your bed. Step to fuck it. Closes at it. Now there's a couple of. He's making a complicated. Yes. It's supposed to cut a hole in the bed. Just, you know, deep enough into the mattress. You know, whatever usually that's people have foam mattresses, these days, anyway. Take a plastic bag. Stick in the whole line. The whole move up said, baggy and then fuck it rather Baggies. A good a good tip. I guess I would say probably just use a female condom. Yeah. Yeah. That what you're not getting the hard edges of a fucking plastic baggie, cutting up your cock, less Trinta, and then yell scratchy dick. Yeah. There, there's also thing that's that I find kind of amusing. It's a harmonic that gag. Yeah. Monica is put in basically like a bit in your mouth and strapped around your head. And then a clothes pin is stuck over the nose. So you. So you. Yeah. I would see why one of those on somebody. Yeah. Ju. No, I'm saying. I don't know if I go with the close fan, I think I could do better than that. Yeah. Design, because you would scare the hell out of someone or your fucking in. They're gonna make. Fucking saying that would be awesome. I want one semi one please. A train on a Hobo, you slut harmonica gag, please. I'll put that on my wish list. That's. Monica, which I'll make the wish has the we has like shit. You could get all that stuff at Home Depot. Monica, I bet you could fight it. Fucking Monica Home Depot. Don't think you never know. You gotta go to like a music store kind of not. Maybe I'm thinking maybe the home improvement centers, not the place to find a musical instrument really how much weird pointless shit. Did they have in just in those center bins? At that one international toll that's complete. That's not Home Depot. No, but that far superior tool to a place harbor. Freight far, but better higher quality stuff. Okay. Yeah. See. And they had just like pointless shit in just like crap stuff from cool, crap. CC give her Monica flea market. Monica Teflon are here are Monica dollar is at the end of that cap. It's even more scary to get a used one. Because then you think, oh. Oh. How do you just in fact that thing? Well, people do I don't know. I don't think they've made a harmonica in the past hundred years. I think they've all been made in eighteen hundreds, it's in her mouth looks like it's black plastic. That's because that's what colored turns after it's a hundred years old. You know what I mean? Plasticize it after a while. What I want to medal one I don't want fucking plastic. That's bullshit. I wanted to be able to fuck and clamp-down clampdown what dental damage to happen, if you get too excited, you know what I mean? So you have to think hey, don't buy down till by town. Don't you're gonna ruin your choppers pitch. That's terrible. What is? Apart. I know. Oh, yeah. Great. Yeah. It would it would film. It just record. The audio just the audio what's happening here. I like how you get into the microphone to get louder. It's awesome. Soda do back away to get quiet out. Oh. Sound guy go crazy. I'm sorry. I have to put up with me. It's not putting gotta have reflects like a cat. That's all I know. Well, I should think that you could job at I know somehow that I don't know how sixteen years. That's how you know, me like a pre cog. The balls. Roll shit. Turn it down. Turn it down. We have thirty five seconds before it goes off. He's not slow down either. But he thinks. Slowdown. Drake that puck at AB. They. I'm feeling fucking fantastic. Yeah. I'm afraid of every time I have that edibles just you just yourself last time I don't want hear nothing to do with the but it wasn't like to where I thought I was going to die too much. But it was still a slightly too much. Well, I much as what about right that's about right? A teaspoon of AB. Is remember that? Yeah. She's not. And that's no. Well, if you wanted to. Tables. Oh my God. That was like four doses. And he's moods, heavy dose. I think he did that to twice to. Oh, no. Maybe everybody knows either people love edibles or they don't like an and I used to like them. Belatedly, oh my God. It's been knocking dick. Really? Oh, you see my face you see you see me the night, you gave me four tablespoons. You're like you're sitting there. And also just got to I got to go to bed. And I laid there in bed awake for, like, eight hours. Just I just breeze breeze. I still got a breeze, relax. I'm not gonna die gonna die. I'm not gonna die. I'm just sleeping over. He's going to bed. Winco trying. So I went to bed at I had no I'd hit. He was just up having a connection fit. And I went to wake you up nearly. Yep. Yep. Yep still. Yeah, you're, you're right. Getting helping get ready. You're talking to me. Look at me in the eye. Like you look panicked. There is no doubt. I was passing. Really, who? Sorry, I was just regular high at lunch. I it took me twelve hours to like, just be normal high. Not like fuck it wrecked anyway. Careful with the animals kids. I mean, if you guys and most of you live in states, where I mean most of our listeners are in big cities. Hello listener, Utah. Appreciate you know what's funny. We all look at things at all of a sudden, like like awesome. Uganda pops up like somebody downloaded like fifty episodes in Uganda. Why why don't know why I I was wearing a Chelsea handler outfit last night. Fuck in shiny pants with the old t-shirt graphic t. Smith street bitch. Are we doing show? Yeah. Or I forget what we're doing how to time. Well, we're just going off having some fun. Well as promise, I, I have some ball trauma of a story, we I mean, we usually tell you about the Florida man. But this is a Florida woman story dot dot dot. Involves nut. So it's really not a Florida woman story. It's a Florida man story. She's the one who did it. Okay. But it says, not he let let it happen. Well, t- didn't wanna hit a woman. You can't stop a bitch from her. You're not, you know deserved have not as all I'm saying. He's cute, too. She's like cute, psycho, Lourdes, Lourdes Aban. Yeah. She she allegedly fucking attacked her boyfriend. She's like grabbing at his balls. And she squeeze him so hard that they bled to sack or the sack grab the whole site. Yes. Squeezes car. Sack is one thing if you didn't pop a testicle, I mean, you know, you'll be okay. It's a sack. What? And you guys if you're a hardcore listener, you know, I have popped a nut vase, they do squish. They do come. Gresh a bigger a Plum with no pit nice. Yes. So I, I have course someone's test whatever. That's what they wanted us like gotta go. Anywhere. I didn't say this came amulets right deck. This now told you I'd stuff on your nuts. Police were called to their place at four thirty in the morning. And they said that she was just like enraged. You know, like kind of like that. Yeah. No, it's, it's rumored that the Latin women have a temper, and they're usually really hot. Yes. No. She can just say she's Brazilian all the Brazilian girls I've ever met or fucked like are come to your work yell at you. Throw shit at U of fucking like level, ten anger habits fiery blood down there. I don't know. I don't know. It's fiery fiery. I'm sure not all Brasilia women are like this. But the few that I've banked and then anecdotally a few that I've known other people that banked batch it crazy and we walk in batches crazy. And we know we know one of the people in common Dell. Yes. Yes, she is. It hurt. Her name is very similar to a snack snack tree. Yes. Onion flavored snacks rate. Right sells like Gunja though. But the guy that she was dating completely deserved fucking that kind of asinine ary duty. Well, he wasn't a direct dick like, like no what what I'm saying is when when he's he doesn't like abuse anybody yell at anybody. Nothing like that. Now he just can't keep his dick out of other weapon. Previously, we don't know we haven't seen him in fucking decade, Dan, but previously that had happened before and. Wow. Oh boy. His resilient woman would go. Ape schnitzel. Yeah. I don't blame her though. She's really hot. I don't know why whatever like what are you doing? I like I was you do that. I like her accent. She was, she's cool. She was cool to probably around somewhere, but we didn't date her. So no, we just watched it from afar. Yes. I wasn't even thinking of her when I was talking about my examples either. Anyway. Anyway, well, yes, they the of the police came. They say started fucking like she started hitting them like she's yelling. I'm sorry, hitting them. And then she fucking started scratching him. And then she choked him. She started charging them out. And then she went for the coin purse and try to make lemonade brush, you know, and I can tell you being a Florida ban. That's happened will not that avid to me. However, I did have a girlfriend, I completely catcher really catcher paying somebody else, but I confronted her while she was shit faced and, and basically. Yeah. Busted her back and somebody else years ago. And when I busted her, she came at me, and went to kick me in the fucking nuts. Now, when I say she came we're talking, Luke hang style right at the boys and I did like a matrix maneuver. I caught her foot. It was good fine saved my balls. However, hit my finger and my finger did the extreme dislocation where it went completely sideways and split up the middle so's broken up to joints tip. And then the second fuck it bone was cracked in half. And then the second knuckle Jaap jumped up on top and was completely turning across all my other fingers. And I didn't notice it until until I went to, like, literally, because we're still arguing I put your foot down, and I'm like what the fuck to. And I went to point out her in my fingers. Turning. What did you do to figure two beds? You got you're making my toes fuck it hurts so bad right now. Finger damage. But it's making my whole body's contorted. If my finger would not have taken the brunt of that force, you know, what would I would have got kicked, right? The deck tech right now. What you do. So, yeah, just imagine. She would have caught up into that fucking shoe. Oh, god. Right. Gooch. Yet it well shit right for a week. Do you know what? Do you know what you could've had something worse? Having to say. Because there just this fucking thirty five year old guy. He was left with a nine day erection after he fell off of his book and moped and it's weird that they have ninety elections countries. It's early on. Shut up. Will this happen because he got a fucking? He bruised his Gooch a nine day. Dude, you go to we've talked. New day erection you after like if you're dick, if you taken some kind of drug combination or if for some reason your dick stayed hard for more than an hour or two hours, go to fuck it hospital. I like my friend, a twelve hour, you're gonna lose your tech. Exactly. I mean, what happens to blood when it just stays in once it fucking Klotz it. So imagine your dick full of blood for nine date doesn't have ticketing more does he know he does? Come on. No. He does. How does he have a dick because there was there was constant blood flow assay wasn't completely rock hard? He wasn't like Seattle is heart. No. Because he said it didn't hurt at all as it, it didn't hurt and that's why that's why he didn't go. He said it was only uncomfortable when he won't. He was just chopped up. Probably yeah. So he but he Burs goose who's right there? He had internal bleeding, and that's what happened. So how'd you Brazil? Fell over his head. Yeah. Typo fell swear. That, that's what's an accident report. Read it again. I don't know how gerbil got up to word for word fell. Well, the according to the doctors say left him with a grade for erection. Great for. Yeah. Now, are there say only four because agreed for erection is the highest level on medical skill. It's known as the erection ordinance score. Okay. So he did have a rock hard, dick. Yeah. But. It was constant blood flow. So it wasn't bothering him. Oh, well, anyway. But it sounds like fun games at all. But days. No. I mean you can read all about. There's a lot of like medical shit and history. And they did his case was published in the journal. It was the reports on your Allah, Judy so anyway. But it'll be in the link you can fuck and read up on it, and you can find out whatever the fuck you wanna find out how many girls did you fuck. So there you go. Did you have a friend boyfriend? Did you utilize said day hard, cock? And if you did not, why the fuck didn't you? What is your problem, too? And if you bruised your goose just like having like rock and orgasms. Because that's you poke press. Hit your prostate. Oh, maybe they didn't maybe dead because they started getting into, like, like medical shit. And I'm like I don't care. Brad, blah. It happens. Yeah. I give just what you need to know sincere for care about that other style. You give me the headline, ninety eight nine election nuts action. Keep I keep Beatty on it. I'm Wade for you to take it. No, no, no. You work on your non Asian. We're gonna go to your favorite segments standing by. Boobs in and on the news, it's time once again for hit. All right. There's Manchester woman, and she's a mother of two. She is become a living sex, doll really up plasticized. Well, no less shout at Barcelona, our federal then they don't do that. Apparently that's why they close. Anyway, shut sorry, she's Instagram model and since you had a dream. She's three a little on the heavy side. And she said she had a dream so she can win for it. And she has enormous lips and humongous tits Jew ever aid to a triple. D. Yeah. Wow. We're talking about calling from nothing nothing something, but, you know, and they are good fucking jobs. Like I thought that she may be went like up a Cup like too, because they look soft and gigli and bouncy and heavy like I did not know that they were faking, I usually pretty good better for that. They begin better what the pendulous you know, heavy looking Mary's. Yeah. But her she's like my mother says a half a great SEIs and. To. She looks like she has fucking those wax lips on her face. Seriously? Like she just took him out and stuck them on and slapped on some lip gloss on most girls. I don't, I don't enjoy jobs, mostly unless I'm sure there are women who get them done that, you don't realize gun doesn't probably really good lift chops. But other than that, any injections, God. Oh, yeah. Much Chubu coup. This is you guys look like fucking groupers. Just anyway, whatever we're talking about, like boobs. Well in this, there's a video of her Francis, frat boys. What you look like. Racist frat boy. What you'll figure it out, eventually? Not going to spell it out for you. Miss election. Anyway, she doesn't leave the house of dressed like without being just up like she has all these, like, costumes shit, and she's like, I only take pictures and shit and put him on there for me. Sure. Okay. Follow arno. She does. Yeah. She loves it. She's like, I don't give a shit, but anyway, you should see your Ted. So you'll see in the video that's it. Whatever. For the week. Ooh, there's a pub that it used to be the very first vegan friendly pub. But now it's the city's only nudist bar. That's a drastic switch. It is. I mean how many vegans are nudist probably surprise? I actually think about it. Yeah. Probably quite a few nudist that are Regan's listening to the Mummers dance. Alcott. Oh, god. Fucking lower stance. I couldn't believe that's a thing like. I'm so glad I slept through whatever those years were when that happened. I'm just happy. We just played it last. Was it last week for? No just it was the squirrelly. So that was two weeks ago. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's the most recent one right now. If you're listening, it's hard to keep track. But you do such a good job with it, though. Anyway. Yeah. So if you're like into that akilah makes your clothes come off doesn't even matter anymore. Already off what you're getting into you can't and you but you can't be like you can't just stop by for lunch. One day and be naked remember. No, no, no, no. Do they only had they're only allowed to do naked during scheduled nights? Oh, so. Really? And yeah. I would suggest bringing towel most nude is no this though. Yeah. Most nudist lash, swingers know that when you go to an all new place, you bring a towel, so you're not open face city on turn for the worst. Oh my God. Yes. So it's an oral thing if you've never been to a nude est of resort place, or do a swingers club or anything that has a new dissection. Yeah. Towels are quite common. So remember, when he go to the nudist place, bring a towel and that that's not necessarily to wrap around your waist, or whatever you open faced on things. Yes, your asshole is in puckering up where little little Laura jeans, fucking, snatch a whole of us was rubbing up down on you know what I mean. She gets around here and also the don't panic. Hitchhiker's guide her ever. Said the other towel. Well, I was thinking tally. Did that. Wouldn't be good did twice pass hold. Down you're doing fine. Oh my God. Well, they said that the whole the whole neighborhood was starting at commercialized like bought up and shit, and this pub and that. Well, they said that this pub has been in the fucking families since eighteen forty seven and then they're like, no, that's my fucking independence. So I got a new license. That's right. Screw. We're everywhere. And they also sell a calendar. For for charity or part of the world is a country slash Lebanon Pennsylvania. No, I think it's an Ireland Ireland. Wow. Arlen let's ginge, fuss revenue all over everything ginger means. I wonder how big the, the elected nudist seeing is an I like to me up thinking Ireland in England. Just just based on weather, really. I think you know, like nudism is not. I mean, you know on whatever how do you going to be, when it's raining all the time and fucking rocks around outside. Let's go way onto cold wet. Rocks. Fun out there, frozen raiding pale skin. Birth. I don't know whatever they light a fire, so I. Fire? I have no idea. I don't I don't anyway. So the nude calendar, though, that they sell for for charity to call the beauties and the beasts and it's. Get it for twenty five bucks and it's filled with all the pubs regulars and all the gory. Here's old shave is that's with an Irish accent, though. And his. There it goes to help the homeless, does it does it really well because they get all the towels they could use. What used Halbe and you don't want that after it's been used? Gotta give it away to homeless person. Don't keep them warm at night. Well, why did you go in that uses insulating? Oh, oh, let alone but butter fire. Yup. Terrible. I'm not I didn't make that up. Oh, there's this principle of a Holy Family monastery school. He was arrested or school is not too. Modestly is that. Yeah. I thought you said monastery like I'm thinking, oh modest children. Okay, montessori. Yeah. All right. Anyway, here's a rest rested. A strip club, okay? But he was on. He is on it. He's not allowed to go to strip clubs league. Oh, no. He was ship as he's like, I'm not paying my Bill, and this is while the kids were on a field trip. Okay, everybody, everybody just made me out. About a half an hour. I think they like we're like a museum or something like. Disturb. It was fucking blitzed. And when by the time the cops got there, he'd had a drink out. You standing in the road like yelling at him and he had his drink in his hand. So they got a for and talk public intoxication and the for of dick, I wasn't driving failed. We had a bus drivers. It's like Uber. But with a lot more people. No. I god. Yeah. So was at it. I said, oh, oh, no. That's a hand. Some gonda. No, no, no. It was in the states. Okay. Yeah. Oh, Washington Washington, there you go. There you go. There base ounce see okay? That makes a lot more sense, seems like an east coast thing. Really? Yes. It really does not sound like a west coast thing you know, know anything. Oh, I just got in some soul cycle. I needed an avocado facial. I used the facial afterward for some toast spread. Delicious. I feel so healthy. I'm through my pores on factoring fat. Knowing God anyway. I'm gonna leave you this little fun fact. Not fun fact. But just fun sever in your noodle. Okay. There was a sixty three year old Danish man. He was living in South Africa. And he had his day in court, because they found twenty one Severn immutability of vaginas freezer in his home, I was gonna tone them to the goddamn use Iem, Katie. I don't think he knew about that. Oh, no. You know, he I said. Museum what they also found surgical equipment and Anna study like at the painkillers and shit and drugs and stuff. A woke up. I didn't have a pussy anymore. Well, they believed that his much younger wife. I mean she was fucking young. Yes. So twelve somewhat have now she's twenty eight. Okay. I'll let you said he was sixty sixty three. Yeah. Yeah. So it's quite age gap Thurs. So I don't know. I, nobody knows where what he's like going to get in tribes women and fucking often them for their badges. What's going on here? No, he just said that he'd know he just did it. Have you read just dry like he went he drug he would drug them and then they said they will wake up and mutilated like shit would be like they'd be hysterectomies cut lips off. Oh out, you set Vagit though apart, both. Oh, you're like the outside. Oh, his his fucking wife. She called, she called the cops and she's like fucking he did to me. And then there's another two. Yeah. Yes, it was wife to. Yes. New young twenty. Euro, my gosh, she told police that, yes, he drugged me, and then I woke up and like on, like a fucking KENDALL and. All. There's other body parts to end. He, he told he was telling this, he told the story to a gun owner. Like I mean, a gun shop the owner of a gun, shop black got that out. And he was telling that. Yeah sedate the victims before before these legal operations like talking about it. And he's, they said when they when they found all the ship that he kept it completely organized, and he had records of everything of every body, part, and he's been doing, it's very nice of them to keep records for the police yesterday said they were know exactly how many times to charge him where to find these women. Yeah. Oh, god. What do you do that vacuum? Sealer. Colder so many bags. Why did you got the giant tub at super glue? What's happening? Do you like arby's? These packages. Gross. And we will we're going to get out of here for the weekend, and yeah. In for the night. So whatever you're listening. We love you. And I don't know anything for Massey. All right. Well, I had a love on tonight. I don't know about y'all. Go see Cheo Kherson. That's right. That's right up looking about. Anyway. Yes. So have a breast your weekend and rest your week. And when we listen to us, and I will see Australia. Bye bye. Slim. Os.

Katie Twitter Florida Facebook Jenny Bob Miami Kevin Smith Roddick dick Kherson cancer BBC Tampa Franklin Franklin Tampa Bay Monica Crasnick Joe jovic Dutton Mr. Siu
S2:E75 Keepin It PG-13!

The Captain's Log with Host Brien Spina Podcast

15:01 min | 2 years ago

S2:E75 Keepin It PG-13!

"Hey guys, we are back on the captain's. Log your first appearance, Johnny b with money excited man, I watch all these and I think one day, I'm going to be in aching. Oh man. Here I am. You are you, you're not too far away just across the pond in for Tampa. Yeah. Yeah. So I thought it was farther. It's not that far right to two hours, twenty. Yeah, yeah, it's a good little German. I go over there and vacation. And you come over here on the funny right at the same town really misses. We're outta town. Right. Right. Exactly. So you're performing tonight enough to hook comedy club exciting first time in how many years you've been back. It's been at least ten years, is it because you're so busy. You can't get I can't get you on the sketch. It really is a booked everywhere. Yeah. I'm a world traveler, it's, it's, it's really, really tough. So I'm so happy. I can make it down here. We actually real you back in, man. And bring you back down to reality just to get a couple of these shows. So scroll down to this thing. Let's see, we're okay. We're gonna go. We're gonna go on, on Johnny fees, so we can see us. That's us. Figuring out now. Page, you all we have to worry about writing and title late. Yes. Take up my show. I don't go to your show just pick. You know you have to be on. You can send all neat yet. So listen. Here's the thing you have a radio show. I do. And is that like a passion, or is this, while this guy he'd how he wants to die? He's right across all four lanes right from us, by the way. Great great lighting today's amazing. It is actually going to you could. You could tell I XE foliage eight a little bit. Good, captain. I'm sixty four years old. Nobody's this, Sean. Hey, what's up, buddy? So is the radio gig passion or is it? What is it? What, what is it about the radio gig 'cause I mean, the money you're saying isn't, like, no yet. No. It's a grind. I I love it. So it is a passion. It's one of those things where I started off, like of dabble in it as of noon stand up and do it on the weekends. And then I got a five day week show, but I'm at night, so making night-time kind of money like podcasting. What else tonight? Teaser you FM radio. But I mean I did a podcast for a long time. I still technically have one that I pay every month. I just haven't put a an episode out here. Yeah. Then you technically just came off. I tunes, I guess I don't know if I got to go through and delete them all after need. Okay. Hosted episode after so many months, they, they took you off. Let's I say sad. I don't know. I think you can find me if you look probably Johnny beyond, censored, he'll say a bunch episodes. Why are you uncensored you very sent because I'm censored on FM radio. So so it's uncensored on the you'll get me unhinged. At least a little bit. Yes. Got you saw things I want to say, I can say, don't get naked on my show. This is a fairly show or is it high kids? I don't really know that on kids, watch very hard. And I shouted he PG thirteen. You know, if you're a C breaks taking my shirt off, so yeah. So how'd you get into comedy? How, how did that start for you? Do you have as rations of doing more things? Tell me about your lifetime you once. Okay. Well, always the class, clown. Funny kid, I grew up pretty much the only white kid my neighborhood. So it was either learn how to talk about people's moms are have a good jump shot. And I'm not that good of a basketball player. So I got I got funny by necessity. And then after, you know, a pay school and all that stuff in college, I got a degree in art and figured out. I want to paint or draw anymore. I was working at a bar honest. Yeah. I've seen some pictures actually that you've drawn a little bit. I ever known all. I'll dabble you know, but I just kinda lost my passion in college. Like I got all these professors like paint this discolor, and, you know, you suck in you and all that stuff. So I like I don't wanna do it anymore. But then I was I was working in a bar singing in a band, 'cause I saying also sings artist comedian. I mean, seriously, you a lady slayer a lot. I'm a renaissance man at all. And so then I got back to my, my fourth stint in Iraq. I'm kidding that never happened. So I you had. The bills the fattest marine, but I, I was I was in itself running this band, and I would change the lyrics of all the songs, and I would like really piss everybody off, all right? Yes. Do we just wanted to music and your European making jokes all the time? I had a guy told barstool at me because I was roasted them in front of his girlfriend. So my Qatar players like your comic, you should do comedy. So he tricked me into going through of comedy workshops that we're going to lunch, by the way, if you ever wanted to trick, a fat person, tell me going to get something you take them in jail. It don't matter. So I go to this workshop and of, you know. Yeah, it was in Tampa back in the ninety s the old comedy works comedy club. Okay. And now who is, who is the teacher battling? Oh my God. It was pretty Paul persons with a Tampa legit still do. It's not feast. He won't die. He's like one hundred twelve years old. He was like the guy running. It knows a couple of the guys. I don't remember. But I remember seeing Larry cable guy before he was Larry to who was his Dan. I saw him roll through there. I ended up Gene-o the story about ninety cable guy with yet at the problem. No, I don't know that straight heart. She's the Booker. She run on Elliott mortis funniest competitions. Yes. He's all he told. Never to do that gig again at her over Mike. Why not don't ever do Larry, the cable guy's act ever again? History. Yeah. Yeah. I know I know he would call into manager story though. She talks about it. There's that bitterly, she was like that was terrible. Going through that again, do yourself, just be funny. She doesn't look old enough to even back then know the shore. But, but yeah, I mean, I remember he would call a local radio station as later to cable guy, and I don't know who told him, but somebody said, you should do five minutes on stage and that's funny. I didn't know the Rene story. That's really funny. Yeah. A he she came out. He's the to the open lights and do it. If feature for them at the province funny. He he did the light gifts. They don't do that every dance terrible. You'll never go anywhere. That is why. So I did the did the workshop, they offer me three minutes that night on stage and I opened up for happy cold three minutes, then find the next night, they invite me to another comedy club. I will not mention and care topless there. Okay. And they said you got three minutes. I get up. I did. Four minutes. Like I saw the light, but I didn't really freaking out did know what's going on. I get off stage and the club owner just destroys me in front of the staff, yells at me. And I was like I don't if this is never done that. I know you're not complete douche. So I thought that was what comedy was was like I don't wanna do that ever again. So I didn't do comedy for six more years until they opened the improv in Tampa. When the opening improv of two thousand two thousand one written jokes though or trying to be funny. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I stopped working in a bar over the became a poker dealer at the hard rock and I would make everybody to poker tables, laugh. Right. I would make the brakes on. Here. So funnier comedian get on stage you nothing like that, right? Right. There's a lot more to it, obviously wreck. But they had this big open mic contests. It's like they're big grand opening month or whatever. So everybody at the casinos, I go do this open mic contest. So I did it. And I won a part of the reason why one hundred people. You stack the odds. Oh yeah, big time. What was the what year was this, like, two thousand like the late two thousand early two thousand one while. Okay. Yeah. So I did that then I just started really getting as much time as possible like any open my any stage time I to wrap up, by the way, Johnny B's my gas. You could see him all weekend. But tonight, we're giving away tickets to see his show. You got a one time shot to see this show as he headlines tonight. And they have to use the code J, B J go on off, the who comedy dot com. I've given stuff away on this podcast guys. This is the counters log. And how can they find you on Instagram Facebook because they wanna follow you always like to give my guests ambition? Yeah Instagram's Johnny Tampa. You get to see all of bacon. I cook and all the food that I cook I do a lot of cooking. It's a good follow. And then, of course I might stories can be pretty an. Twitter. Johnny comedy on hold on hold onto Twitter. Everybody's dumping at night now. I don't even posed on it. It just I just literally would ever flows off of my Facebook. That goes onto Twitter. I let it ride while I can check. I'm not giving them develop blue check, you know, if you don't have a blue check and you're on Twitter to give up like it's not worth it, right. It's not worth it anymore. But if you, but if you're an old fart like me and you were tarred get you blue chat. It's been a couple of years now. Yeah. How did you know you got of that's funny? My girlfriend thought that I had into something she's like, he's not give you what she thought it was fake. So we're getting ready to go somewhere and she goes, I like the fake verification. You got on your Twitter like, how did you do that, as I like an emoji or something? And I said, what are you talking about side logged in freak out like a fourteen year old girl to sell Bieber? So then I'm like, really tweeting way too much at that point. And everybody's like get it. Yeah. Yeah. You, you made a verify bro. So actually I got Twitter a little battle years ago. Back in probably two thousand eight with phase on love. Oh, yeah. And I got verified after going back and forth. I don't know. I just wanted that we'll come verified. But the funny thing was is people didn't even know what the blue check was on Facebook or, or Twitter really until Instagram. I think right. I think because they would have had people had no clue that, that meant anything unless it was just a Naples was so far behind everybody. I, I don't know. Yeah. I I'm not real sure about that. I was actually late to Instagram, like I- I- Facebook, I was really heavy on Facebook and Twitter and all my younger friends in the industry and radio common comedy like dude, where's your Instagram? And all right. I don't know so about a year ago. Oh, really? Got on Instagram. Okay. And now it's my favorite. Now. It's addicting so much better than everything else. So I try to do more on Instagram now motor. Yes. Yeah. We'll that's it. You know, I hear you. He had that works. I mean I wish I could go on stage tonight with rabbit ears and be so much better. These nap Jack I have Snapchat rarely ever on because I only got it because I thought girls we're going to send me naked stuff all the time. Right. That's what nothing's right? He happens occasionally for you. You're kept him Brian. I get nothing nothing as you get that occasional. Wow. Hey, okay. I'm an open this one in my own time. You're like I am begging for any nudity. Like I was like, look. I don't care if you're fed amputee anything worth it would make you happy. Please just living know that you want me to see your naked body, Katie. I don't think they get is ugly to matter what I'm kind of like a equal opportunity. Oh, if no matter what, what the look is of naked. It's pretty good to me, now it might not be good to me, but I appreciate the effort appreciate the at yet. That's what I mean. God bless, you know, may maybe think I'm important enough to see him account coming, right? Tight guys, even I don't care. No, turn me gay. Thing. He let me know that you want me to see it. Don't look at mine right now, timing. Oh. Guys gentlemen, got to be there for it. Good. So listen. What can they expect tonight from the show? I do I talk about my life, you know, I'm you know, I've been married twice. They both marry failed horribly. I raised kid on my own. Did I probably do fifteen twenty minutes just on raising his kids? Very funny stuff. That's that's happened with us. There's not a lot of, you know, fabrication, I'll rate like knock knock jokes really just everything's based on true stories. A oh, it's a little on edge. Sometimes, you know, my influences are, you know, Carlin and Pryor and. Carrot top when you work Karen, Don. Yeah. How was that? I mean look, the guys have frickin superstar now when I worked with he wasn't like. Yeah. You came up and floor. He was super skinny, I talked to jacked. Oh, I know the last time I saw him. He was rigged and he smelled like all the weed in the world. And but still super nice guy did selling out every show advantages. Yeah. I'm going to actually talk about him on stage. I'm gonna talk about carrot top tonight, talking about me too. I like that. It's good for my ego. Yeah. So care top was very nice to me. I ended up working with them again after that horrible ordeal where I got an isolated by the club owners that we could get we want not. No, no. I will, I will say something I wanted nyah late. You just a little bit. I think the crowd I think the crowds are going to be awesome heard nothing. But good about the crowds at off the hook. So I blasted route one hundred percent of us nine wrapping up guys as the captain's log we just finished on one zero five five beat. That was a great show, which your longtime friend Britney Gonzales, all the my friends, ramo, and everyone at the show was great, now, we're heading right now, we're walking in to be one or three point nine big, mama and the wild bunch. And if you guys want to hear the rest of the show, tune into one or three point nine right now. We're going live with big mama. This is the captain's log, I'm captain Brian, my guest, Johnny B is going to be enough to comedy club all weekend. Don't miss him. And you're going be with big J O Kherson tomorrow who's live on the show with me. Don't Miss B j tomorrow Catholic. We out.

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EXTRA 1: How To Boost Your Financial Intelligence

Faces Of Finance

30:49 min | 5 years ago

EXTRA 1: How To Boost Your Financial Intelligence

"Welcome to the vices of finance. Podcast where we talked about finding and funding your business personal and investment opportunities. More information visit us on. Www dot grow dash capital dot com. That today we with gusto. Kherson and alex andre and today we're going to talk about gro capital when and how it started seventy. Yeah thanks to grow capital. We kicked grow several off about two years ago. Now and in simple terms where that account from well as background from a family perspective. We had farms farming background and agri-business and then into traditional business and Growing up in that environment and then moved into it and into finance about going on seven years ago now on noticed of that period of time that it was really hard now from a personal perspective from small business perspective and from other people who were talking to from funders perspective to get a really easy view on with business was added from financial health position. And the if a business needed funding once you'd actually ask time where it was at. How do you go bad doing that. In streamline fashion and from funds management to banking to mortgage broking that was evident for business owners rod across the spectrum. So why do we put it together. My background i love dealing small business. They're the big tax payers if you look per capita in australia are small businesses and small businesses mike. Our country and without small businesses having access to to working capital and to lending into to banking. Then it's really hard for them to right if at all so you know. That's sort of the background. And what are we looking at in terms of growth capital will. We're trying to build a platform and a business whereby small businesses can communicate with us with financial institutions and without amongst themselves to access capital in efficient fast manner and also access resources. That can help them to grow the business. Which is exactly where the name came from. Thanks gus another question is how do you see greg. Capital evolving in the future. Yeah that's a really good question we initially when we kicked off Of the business a couple of years ago it was really about simply being a mortgage brokers to to small businesses who had trouble accessing various different lenders. I didn't have the time that generally small business owners doing everything the finance manager they say the the hr manager they doing the marketing. And they're out there on the road trying to sell the product or service and so you know quite often small medium mint ause ernest manages. Really tom pool so we originally started trying to help them to finance use. Aol strategic partnerships to help them to access the different pundits in the marketplace whether they be banks to tetra all down to second tease or private funders whoever could fit the the funding requirement. That ahead so then we sort of started saying that. The business really. It wasn't just the funders of wanted to no way the business was. It was the businesses themselves with that actually wanted to be able to benchmark their business at any given time and say okay will hem going this month. We'll ham again. This week and traditionally us their accountants or they financial advisers to do that. And and i think with the advent of technology coming really heavily in financial technology coming into into the spice as a real opportunity for us to provide the tools and resources the business owners have and the they want i guess is probably the better question to to understand where the right now what the funding requirements banking requirement tire. And then what. Their options are in terms of going forward the availability of those in the timing and and the like agus we've been mites for twenty five years now and we have beckon the die. We work together really. Well we in the business that we're working in. We found that we both work together. Really really well. And this is kind of bubbled around in heads for the last twenty five years. We wanted to do something together. This is finally actually coming version. Ingraham capital tell me a little bit about those thought patterns. And what's helped us to get this. Yeah well yeah. And that's absolutely rodman as you and love working together and lots of fun times and plenty of craziness but the end of the day where it comes from is years and years ago even before i started in the finance industry seventy nine years ago now but even before that are not that if you're on a farm or if you had a retail business or way back you generally banking manager and you could call that banking manager and you could sit down and have a cup of tea cup of coffee with that banking manager and talk them about what you needed you know. Why needed an ikea a subjective view on now if that was rod or not and a naked actually give you generally give you the money and i suppose what's happened over time is that more systems and processes being put into financial institutions and that level of personal engagement has almost disappeared in a lot of the institution so from my perspective. Certainly what what i wanted to do is try and bring back in element of personally guys. Rent help to speed up that process for businesses that wanted or native money or banking facilities and obviously Get back into to working together in the business and So look authority in family businesses over the the nineties and the like and then saw when i was working in banking and finance over the last nine years. It just wasn't easy. It was easy to get a home loan. It wasn't that easy for business owner to go and grab fifty hundred two hundred two million dollars if i needed it for the business for cash flow whatever my baobab a property it just businesses misunderstood and we wanted to demystify that that that part of the market banks us. What about from your perspective. What youth thoughts on. What did you want to get into this. So good question gusts so. I've been working the industry for quite some time and started to see. The finance industry noticed that the things in the finance industry that just weren't keeping up things have style. Things are falling behind absolute. So i wanted to get into the finance energy so it could have almost put a different spin on the on on finance bing take into financing together try and figure out why of introducing technology into finance and helping to streamline processes like legs. Yeah yeah because a lot of the prices out there. He's very old and that actually fits quite well into the into the intake spice now which is booming industry. Yeah absolutely yeah. Combs alex you. Your background is business on the until the the listeners will be a little bit of your background as well. Yeah thanks guys. I think for me. What i find most interesting in this space is we are literally at the coalface of the a sub corporate industry australia and given what you said previously that space really is the largest employer in australia. And it's getting dynamic. Look at how i would say. The almost the economy is performing getting that snapshot. And for me. What i find fascinating is really. It's been out there and talking to customers firsthand. And seeing what they're doing and it's been a part of that discovery and what we can do to assist them to grow so that's mainly in a in a nutshell so you'll you'll family background also businesses around australia and that's correct You know my family have been In that entrepreneur self startup space. For i'd say cluster one hundred years now and in both automobile property. And you know. I think hence going out and doing something together or you know. He's a sort of a natural from me to do that. We've we've been. We've both grown up on farms. We've been out in the bush for being amongst the the animals and the fields and farm machinery and it's kind of like a country thing now we're really a country focused. Now we find ourselves in these amazing hob fintech. Spice which is just on fire right now gets a spot and it's fascinating because we've come from these kind of slow country lost all now. We're in this in this spices. Moving faster than anything else. And it's incredibly exciting. Mainstone insurance is the place where we are now and we have sixty companies in. He will all start ups and that all focused on fintech. Yeah tell us a little bit about that okay. Yeah stunning chagas. Incredible incredible spicer as you mentioned more than sixty financial technology startups in here. And it's awesome to be he Principally it's about to have the opportunity to be with all the latest in that part of the industry it's technology in this spice and you mentioned earlier about technology lagging and selena. Stri now technology in the financial spices is picking up with a record right of nods. Have so he you know we've got companies that have fingerprint verification technology. We've gone companies. The risk profile of a consumer in seconds we have companies to transfer money from country to country in under ten seconds. No matter what the quantum is this is just a huge array of financial leaders in this spice and for us thing broke as really important for us to be able to talk to to those laters fund. What's happening in the spice. At any given time and more side to be able to work with them to improve the experience for clients when they going out and looking for banking or funding opportunities themselves. What are your thoughts on. The new technology spice. You must be saying. Some interesting stuffy. It's very interesting actually. The some of the stuff is being done these cutting edge painful of not only putting together existing technologies with existing financial tools products inventing new technologies and bulking that to new financial products so they basically recreating generating new. Id's but putting his needs to algebra the product. What we're seeing is that all the financial institutions are actually quite anxious about these because they Very embedded the things and these new technologies coming in with new technologies platforms coming in and it's creating a lot of angst in the industry which is great yes. I think it's a it's a great point. And i think a value. Add to that you know. We can see where the continual growth drivers are going to be for the australian economy. So i think whilst we say the technology and your birth disruptive i think we can also see it as a continuation of of what companies may require or where we can win can take the technology to improve customer experience. Make it easier for as we get busier with our lives. And not only that. But just i think give a bit more in depth and insight into identifying what. Australians actually want rather than assuming what they want. It's been able to have that necessary technology whether it's credit scoring whether it's online banking yup identification care. Why know. I think there's some really interesting technology coming out of here. So that's a good point. Alex and you'll background is in corporate banking and institutional spies. Tell us a bit about how you say. Some of that technology flying down into some of the stuff. That we say stunning. Yea how does that help one. Of yeah i i do recall the days of where you literally just had an excel spreadsheet to do your work on and not only from auditing compliance perspective within the bank. Being able to actually do your job quicken off and that's how much doing it quick enough but just being efficient and understanding what you do and not banke mistakes and going from. Xl two now saying people develop and build technology. That can actually do a lot of that work for you and that to me. It's what's really exciting about that. He's let us actually be with our customers. More time to be on the road or allows you to be on the phone on a video conference with your customers and identifying touch points them to really add value back to their business to grow. So i think that's been most exciting going from me sort of archaic almost dinosaur existence of a business and been able to take that technology and really start to focus on your customers. Really go out there and do something better for them. Yeah absolutely completely. So gus finance brokers. That's what greg capital ease. Can you elaborate on that. Can you give what listeners. A little bit of information about exactly what finance burglaries is and what they do. Yeah sure Look and firstly. That's really what what finance brokers do will they broke a finance transactions between a client and funded generally so at a really high level but there are a few different types of finance brokers and we focus more on the business and commercial space. there are a lot of other finance brokers in the marketplace. You've probably heard the term mortgage broker. Willow a mortgage broker generally focuses on personal type lending so your homeland and that type of stuff their clients can you define mortgage yup. I discuss mortgages essentially. It's a funny term. It's bandied around all the time in australia. But a mortgage is actually. It's it's basically a legal agreement to take control over an it based on a condition. Generally that condition is the line of of some money so on yes people say off a mortgage that they do but there's this to actually two separate documents is a mortgage which is the legal agreement or the caveat that controls the property for linda. And there's a loan document and that's generally the home line so to speak and the we've got together along with a few other mortgage can be for other property other than his time. Yes yes a mortgage is basically. A document gives a linda in this security over specific acids so where home loan they might use a mortgage for securing the home or the or the properly acid to secure the line for business. We might is a mortgage or linda. Martin use a the mortgage security. I've a business assets so it might be a business vehicle in might be a commercial property. It might be a retail shop front. It could be could be a number of different things or can we number of a combination of those things that are actually assets of the business so in broad terms. That's what a mortgage is. Yeah so the finance broker as you discussing broke his these transaction the twain a linda and a third party what benefit he's to the to the client to use a finance broker of the next going directly can surely this is face charges involve of course why would they not go directly to a specific lender. Yes oh well. There's a couple of different benefits The first one and the most probably the most common is tom so business. Owners especially as mentioned focus on corporate and business owners. Generally they situation's a little more complicated than say someone who's working a little bit harder for a bank at understand and generally they pretty busy people so tom. It actually takes time if you can imagine if you've got a relationship with an existing bank and you want to go and talk to ten or twelve to say who can get you the best terms and conditions and the best pricing for your line. Well i gotta find someone in those other. Eleven or twelve institutions. You've gotta be able to present them with something so that they understand your business and then you've got to go back and forth between them and that's a full time job in itself. She talked director your own bank then in obviously your own banks generally not going to recommend another banks products another financier products. They're generally only focused on what they have to offer. So what we do. Is we help business. Owners and investors. I've time we put together that that. By song that benchmark and that proposal on behalf of business owners and investors and then we talk through strategic relationships to the different funders out there that a suitable by sony experience in in the spice and then we come back and that creates spicer competitive tender process. And what we do. There is in the shortest possible time. We're looking to get the best terms and conditions and the best possible pricing cost of capital flora clients so the the clients have access to as lenders grow. Capital can help to reduce the amount of time that it takes for them to get from point. I which is we need funds. We have fun. Yep i think. I think it's exactly that to touch on that. It's being able to provide business owners with comprehensive options. Which would they would love to better define their strategy and in order to do that. Having the services of an industry agnostic broker such as grow capital yet to go out and source that for them. And that's a really good point as well. Alex it's when you're talking if you wanted to go in and talk to those eleven or twelve other possible lenders fuel situation you may not know out front that for example if you're a property developer you might not know until little white down the track new spending a lot of time that half a dozen of those we six or seven hundred lenders wine actually lend for property development sometimes tixx wall to find out things and we have we're accredited with most of the funds that we deal with and under that accreditation process. We actually do quite a bit of training around compliance round products so understanding what their actual appetite as well so for our in client. That means that size lot of time running down dead ins aspired with funding and that's critical moment. I mean you don't want to spend a lot of time looking for the finance to get to the end straight and find out that it's a dating so okay. Thanks gus. what else does grow. Kavoodo you mentioned greg. Capital provides funds for businesses and for timelines lights. Yep as a finance what else can grow capital offer. Yeah okay so look in terms of the spectrum if you look at the types of funding business generally require funding all products generally in the finance space businesses are looking for a banking suite of products to manage their business die that might be transactional accounts that might be. Things like bank guarantees the probably looking for a couple of different types of lending them up be looking for kafan on might be looking for an overdraft facility mobley looking for home line and we do do homelands and that type of stuff as well obviously They also might be looking for equity to grow the business so our focus is really understanding first and foremost talking with with our clients initially and understanding where the going by slaughtering they business to understand using some of the technology. We have to understand exactly where they're at at the moment and then sitting down with them working out what i need to go forward and we offer will sit down with clients and their accountants and financial vases and ran table. What the plan is going. Forward what actually need and then talk about what are the best options in terms of going. Four and the line gusts. You just mentioned something before. I just want to clarify alex. You have a bit of experience with equity. can you explain what that term is mentioned rising equity. Yeah so we do on occasion. It is an area that we explore with customers and it's a pot of that capital structure of which they will require it and not only find themselves but also to pretty much get themselves off the ground take themselves to the next level and what they're really does involve is them giving up ownership of their business in return for for money and the way that can be. Structured is dependent on the client's Invest is in essence. It's literally is giving over a certificate ticket which entitles and investor ownership of a business as a percentage of of sort of x. Depending on how much money they have given me in return and what we are seeing is a real strong focus at the moment in particular australia with not only the fintech industry. That is booming. But it's also the innovation space and seeing businesses that are really out there to raise capital from investors. Thanks thanks alex gus. Grow capital can understand the business. What is it the abuse when you have an business comes to you and you get to actually understanding that business do and it's a cushion. Sometimes it's harder than you think but generally we used to you know aspects of the business talk the quality vast big so we talked to the business. There's about what they do. have i do it. Why the different competitors bogging pow works in the marketplace has managed the supply so that's the sort of quality respect and then we also look at the quantity of aspect or the or the numbers associated with the business so we benchmark businesses or by small businesses. When they come into us. And and that's obviously that's confidential between us in the business unless otherwise agreed but w- the way we do that is in a number of different organizations and research houses. The idaho is one of them is strand tax office actually have metrics implies that cy look if you're a plumber operating in sydney. We know ballpark that for every fifteen quotes and these these numbers zone just off the top of my head for every fifteen quotes that you issue. We know that you'll get an average of two jobs. In the average revenue on each of those jobs is three thousand dollars or whatever it might be so that itself is an industry guideline or benchmarks. So we can look at that and then we can look at a business that we're talking to if they're plumber and we can say look. How guy in comparison to that specific benchmark. Are you getting two jobs for every for every fifteen that you're quoting is at broad or wrong. So we look that we look at their clients metrics and then we matched up to racers from research houses from from clients confidential information. We have from other clients. We matched up to information that we get from funds from banks and research reports and then the bureau statistics the show a number of different sources. Sir reasonable view on. I if your in real estate game is your conversion in your prophet for sal within the realms of of that industry benchmark so and then we'll head. Is that work with your business model. If your business and i think that's a great point on that is improving. The bottom line of the customer. Actually doing that for them. So taking that task of their hands and those benchmarking requirements to show them. This is where you can improve their bottom line and it's taking away from them. Free up to focus on their customers really good point. I think something. That's often missed is as broke as we talked to a lot of businesses in lots of different industries and innovation in one industry quite often comes from something that's happening in another industry so if i'm a plumber or might be able to learn and be developed marketing strategies from a real estate agency or vice versa. Maybe maybe something that one industries doing really well is not being done so well and another so. Yeah crosser to say well. If i'm a plumber. Where can i actually explore. Further revenue opportunities was might have been undiscovered until now exactly so there's another product capital provide financial analysis and benchmarking of a business. It to help them to understand where they are with the industry and how they can help they can grow. Yeah and that's That's exactly count like anything if you haven't gotten specific goals around if you don't know where you are heading know head. You know wis- realistic. Oh yeah exactly. And if i was okay so imagine. I'm a plumber. And i come to grow capital to have benchmarking metrics for me. I mean typically. How much time do i need to provide to what is required to meet provide to you and turn around tom and what i might see back. Yeah yes so. Generally me in terms of your tom. If you were the business it can be as little as a couple of hours when that quick. Yes yes so. I mean the the really important part is understanding from your perspective. We want to go and then it's up to us to go and do a bit of homework. If some some financials generally we can talk to your accountant about that. Or if you've got them we can talk direct and we put those into some avail systems and their processes and we get some really classified back on those and then we can sit down again and say will. He's what you're proposing He's what the number of sighing. How are we gonna do this to do this. Or whatever it may be you making more profit than most people in in your industry. How are we going to grow the actual number of customers that you've got and you've probably got the answer to that as a business owner. Maybe not knives. That's that's the part that we sit down and told you about it and but it's just really good to have a now have some visual and something to talk to and to match Sort of having that immunity jhom from from the dashboard of vw beetle. Nine hundred sixty. One tesla susan having all that information can dance and provided instruction format that allows me to better understand what i'm doing so the faster return. Better goal in grow capitalist. Business understand what they need to do to grow and to give them that real time feedback as fast as possible and not just growing the business but to grow personally at the end of the day. Most businesses are in business to make a prophet to make money. And what are they wanna make money because they wanna grow their personal net worth and their business and it worth law. That won't here so we've created this podcast about vices of finance yup to help educate people on how best they can get through the pine. The friction of training finance yeah. The goal of isis of finances is literally that it's to help help us ryan busyness owners to trust me out to share knowledge with the industry knowledge and now the knowledge of we gather along the way with with our listeners and our audience around things up diwan and now about the industry or the business or herro improve certain aspects. So we'll be talking about all sorts of stuff relating to business around cash flow. We're talking about clients will be talking about how to deal with you. Prepare your business for for finance a whole whole range of things. And what are we having to achieve. Well we're having to be the first port of call for anyone who's looking for business finance strike for more information visit us on. Www dot grow hyphen capital dot com.

australia alex andre tom pool Combs alex linda Mainstone insurance Kherson gus greg capital Ingraham greg rodman chagas Aol spicer Alex selena bing tom
Bringing Aaliyah Into the Streaming Era

Popcast

1:00:21 hr | 3 weeks ago

Bringing Aaliyah Into the Streaming Era

"Stream showtime in paramount plus together for just nine ninety nine a month for a limited time. Watch it all star. Stood movies live sports and groundbreaking originals from the shy and billions to the patrol movie star trek discovery plus the nfl showtime championship. Boxing uefa and more. It's everything you want now. Together get the bundle and save paramount plus and showtime sign up now at paramount plus dot com slash. Showtime bundle wasn't in the new york times. Podcast your crying. Like the baby in the background of music news and criticism. I'm your host. John kerr that you. It is september twenty twenty one the eliya catalog or i should say the essential albums are now back on streaming services. It's hard to overstate. How big of a whole catalogue has been in the streaming ecosystem and in this era where everything feels immediately accessible the idea that one in a million from eighteen ninety six a l- esl title from two thousand one. The idea that those albums were not at all on streaming is a at least in official capacity. It's a little bit incomprehensible. There is a long twisted and tragic backstory. As to why. That has been the case leah. As i'm sure you know died in a plane crash twenty years ago and there has been just a significant amount of a family trauma and drama and a split in control between the estate and the ownership of the masters that has led to this kind of long gap. So what i wanna do on. This week's episode. Is i wanna talk about the back story about. Why took so long to get here. And we're gonna do that with gail. Mitchell and dan rice from billboard who interviewed barry barry runs blackground records which is the record label that controlled the masters to these albums and has for the last two decades. So we're gonna talk to gail dan. I and then. Naima cochran is going to call in. And we're going to go deep on lee's musical legacy and why these albums as a music are standalone and important and i do want to say not. Every great alia song is on streaming. Do wanna say justice. For the super friends. Remix of ari that sombody which was a bootleg. I know that's what i was reference. Second the intro. But if anybody sees fit to get that one officially cleared i'd be very grateful to have it in a formal capacity but barring that they're still a lot of great all the music that you can now have easy access to so joining us. Today it's gail mitchell and dan rice from billboard. Hi guys welcome to podcast. Thanks for having us. thank you. Gail is the executive director for hip hop in our in. Be an ice. Say this as someone who has been doing this for a very long time. Gilman doing it longer than i have troje so very to have you. Dan is senior writer. Billboard happy to have you both you guys landed to me. What feels like the interview of the year. Certainly the interview. That people had been waiting for a very long time. Which is that you spoke with barry. Hang kherson elisa's uncle who also runs blackground black being the label that owns the rights to the second and third early albums along with several others. That will get you in a bit before we get to the specifics of the conversation with berry. Wonder if you can map out a little bit of what had happened with the elliott catalog in the five to ten years prior to what we're seeing now. What set the table for this kind of momentous return after the players go there. A series of distribution deals that background had with various labels that sort of wound down in -puter out about ten years ago and wound up being that the cadillac sort of got left behind in the digital revolution. There were there were no licensing deals streaming services or anything like that so when the music business basically shifted its attention to be almost entirely based off streaming services and things like that. The catalog fell through the cracks and was never made available for streaming. All there had been various attempts to license the catalog over the years there have been stops and starts along the way in terms of new projects that were announced never came out there were always embers burning but no fire there. It's rare to have something a certainly in the digital era but something so evidently avoid. And i don't simply mean avoid in the catalog in the background. Cadillac was not on streaming. There was a void in the sense of people did not fully understand. What the motivations were you know with other legacy artists who weren't on streaming. You would have these other bigger philosophical reasons. You know sound quality or stream royalties and things like that here. What seems like it's at the middle is personal grief and family tension although is rarely talked about publicly is is that fair to say gail. Yeah i do think that's fair to say because you know everything got left in a lurch kind of you know suddenly cut down after she unfortunately unfortunately passed away in that the plane crash now twenty years ago last month. So i mean my daughter's twenty seven. She was seven years old ben and was aware of julio us and wanted to dress like the whole bit. But now you've got what two or three generations who kind no. But they don't really know and then it's just been all this mythology about okay. What is going on between black ground and it did have new releases by other artists along the way. But certainly leah was the flagship for the label. And then it just kinda petered out in. No one kinda knows what's going on. Where's berry what's going on. With his sister and the estate yes just been. You know a big void as you said earlier as to what's going to happen. Will this ever happen is is dan looted to because there were a lot of burning embers but no fires really taking off and for for everyone's clear berry sister is a lia's mother and varied lies the tension so there is a leah's family which controls her state and then there is berry which controls blackground which controls the masters to the elliott albums from a distance. You might think oh. All of those parties interests would be aligned. People would want leah's music to be available. Everybody sharing a collective grief on that side him. Perhaps there is a solution that allows for the public. Sharing in the musee can also be addressing and the reconciling the grief but it seems that the family situation is a lot trickier than that. What do we know about the relationship between berry and his sister and about how that's changed over the years when we spoke to bury he did say. I wish i had the same relationship. I had with my sister before it was his sister that came to him and had him listen to as music. And can you help me. I think there's something he or she has talent. Can you help me. He said at the time he went to people quincy jones. I believe he went to ditty. People like that shopping at around and got her a label deal but ever since the plane crash i don't think from what i gleaned from interviewing him. They've been in contact since maybe verbally here near but a late now not even. I don't even think seeing each other at all if i'm not mistaken. I don't think the family has done much in the way of press over the years whether it's her brother or or anybody else who's been involved on. The state side is correct. Yeah i. I don't believe that anybody has really spoken publicly on either side for at least five or ten years at least extensively. Tell me i mean to the degree that you can. How challenging was it to convince berry to go on the record. Obviously he wants to promote the fact that they have arrived at this deal with empire and at the music's coming back but that doesn't mean that he's not reluctant in some ways. And even in your piece you talk about. He's plenty happy on the ranch. He's you know he's got his animals and he's out there sitting by the stream and just you know live in a different phase of life. How challenging was it to get him especially after so long up people attempting to to have him talk to no avail. You know. I had been working on trying to get the story for the better part of a year. It was something somebody had mentioned. Something offhandedly about the catalogue coming back. And i don't think they fully realized how big of a thing they were talking about was and i did and i was like wait. A second periodically over about eight to ten months period. I would check in and be like. Hey what's going on with that. And they would be like you know. Well i don't know. I haven't heard about it or you know we're still working on it and i think there was a sense that if the deal happened at all they had one chance to get it right and if they wanted to do that than berry was going to have to explain what was going on and what had happened and i think that to that accent. He agreed that he would have to talk at that point it was just about. Was the deal. Get done by going to get done now. As opposed to any other time the last ten years. Or so. And i guess really what the estates reaction would be in whether or not that would prove to be too big of an obstacle to overcome as a kind of had. In years past there is some disagreement Captured even in your piece about who knew what when or who was plugged into this but is it safe to say that the estate maybe found out about the deal essentially after the deal had closed. Or do you think that that's a little bit smoke in mirrors posturing in terms of conversation. It's tough to know for sure. Because in speaking to both sides sometimes the facts that each contended directly contradict each other one of the main issues between the two sides of that there was no as as gail mentioned. There's never really any direct conversations between barry and his sister. I think whichever conversations existed were through lawyers through intermediaries and i think that just naturally you know how that goes there tend to be sometimes misunderstandings or things just not being clear with either side yet because at one point when i asked him net john he said i never thought i had the okay for my sister. I think at one point. Dan in you can clarify at one point the state i think it was last year when they send a social message out on twitter or maybe instagram. But basically saying we hear you talking to the fans we want to get the music out there have been talks with different record labels and companies and streaming etcetera. And you're right. It's time for this music to be coming out on streaming when i spoke to bury. He said he took that to mean that the state was okay. His sister was okay with everything. Ns when he decided to move forward on this deal with empire from a legal perspective if the estate had wanted to block this do they have actual legal standing to block this because he does control the masters do they have any standing or would it be more of a public relations problem that they could cause it was definitely a public relations thing and that is something that everyone has always been wary of even in the past kind of stops and starts in the past decade. Was that anytime the state said. Hey we don't support this or this was put in place without our knowledge. Everyone backed away like the drake stuff. Drake staff even. In this case there were few artists who were willing to speak with us. And then when the communicated with them that they weren't supporting it than those things fell apart from a legal point of view. They didn't really have way to block the masters from being licensed in which is why ultimately came out. But you know it certainly was a public relations mountain to climb so building on that. I am merely a humble music critic who is awed by the magical ways of the music business. Tell me this in order for these songs to appear on streaming services does each person who appears on these records have to approve them timbaland missy. Various other guests artists. Do they also have to approve of the release of these albums or once. They're on the master. It's out of their hands. He owns the masters. If they're on their that's if some fought over the years. John get their master's back like joe. Joe she did this taylor swift thing. I believe in rerecord cheating it hers back but others tried to get their back and they still haven't been successful. Yeah he an background on the masters and so he had the exclusive ability so licensed them. It seems like there's even a little bit of. I don't wanna say confusion in your story. I believe there's some discussion of timbaland having worked on some of the potential unreleased leah music. Then there is this issue where the family was not totally dialed in and then didn't speak for the peace. So do you get the sense that that folks like missy in. Tam are kind of caught in this tug of war of never wanting to do the wrong kind of wanting sport legacy but not wanting to step on toes. Do you feel like their contract in the middle of this without speaking for them. That is the sense that i get yes. To what degree do you think restoring leah into the kind of like streaming universal jukebox fills a hole in the overall aren. History like to make it that accessible. How blatant hole was it. When it wasn't there. I think it was a major hole several years ago. Not that long ago you could see when they did the bio-pic i can't remember which network it was on. But people were were running engraving men about not talking anything about the quality of the bio pic but the popularity of the fact that it was about a lien. People were were tuning in. She just has dominated the resonate twenty years later like very few artists have been able to. I mean she's just it's kind of like a moment in time but a lot of what the rb singers today and just after her generation they were all very much influenced by leah her style the vocals the songs the whole bit and she still is referenced by a lot of the newer generation of armies singer songwriters. I speak to also my memory of that. Bio-pic was they didn't have access to most of the music so so there was a real. I remember watching it. Yeah and if. I'm not mistaken. There's a moment in that bio-pic where there's some soundtrack songs that she did. I can't quite remember but was the rare kind of like mid career liaison that wasn't on black ground and then they had to build basically an entire scene in the film around the recording of this. Frankly very inessential soundtrack song and so just you know if felt it felt off. I do think that in the story at nima from empire said it said that the catalog not being available was like missing puzzle piece in the history of rb music when he said that i was like. Oh wow okay. That's that's a first of all great quote from Point of view. About really i thought summed it up. Oh obviously we can't possibly know all the roots of the tension between bearing his sister but obviously the one album that has been available online. Was her first album. Which was on jive. Which is written and produced by r. Kelly r kelly married leah and then that marriage was annulled. This is when she was fifteen. Do you sense part of attention. In the hangar. Sohn family is rooted in kind of inability to reckon with vat long arc of dark legacy to what you're eating. That's don't active factor and were able to speak with berry at all about his relationship with r kelly and the current situation with r kelly. The only thing. I can speak to annette is i did. S buried a police set for this generation. Just set the context for how important an impact blackground had during its heyday yet. I wanted him to talk about the different artists. He had on the label in artists. He managed who one of whom was r kelly but he he brought up every day. He brought up a lot of names. But not r kelly's name and You could just tell he wasn't gonna go there. It's too hard for him still whether it's emotionally hard or logistically in legally hard. It's just not something. He was willing to engage with because at one point during the conversation he did break down and start crying. Which really kind of you know. I don't usually talk to people and they start breaking down and so yeah at one point it did get very emotional for him because i asked Is there one thing in your career. You would do different thinking. He might mention our kelly then or whatever but he said we would not have film. It lasts video so that's when he broke down. That's the sense that i've kind of gotten his vows that it's it's really her death which was just trotha wedge and was the the kind of bright town in in that relationship between barron his family there in a sense potentially even more so or in a more fresh ralway than what had happened with our la just the the sheer fact that she is young so tragically and in the context of doing work for an album. That was really the thing that drove the wedgie. Think you're you're getting at that. Yeah and from a business. Point of view i mean berry and background didn't have any. Don't have any control over that i record still being available being the only one that's been available. It's i think everyone kind of looks at. That is an unfortunate waves. Having had legacy out there in the last two decades only being that one rather than not only the albums that were not associated with our kelly but also that we're creator musical works as well. Yeah the ones that are the true reference points when people are thinking of. Elliot's influence there really thinking of the second and third records not that the first record doesn't capture something about her. But it's really the second and third records that establish water template was and really the thing that people carried with them generation. -ly could we talk just for a minute about some of the other artists who've been kind of pulled into this because obviously olivia is the flagship. You mentioned gail but you know you have tank. You have joe. Joe shout ashley parker angel. You know you've got other folks who are caught up in this. Joe has sort of squared off very publicly or at least spoken out quite aggressively against black round. Having there are like a number of lawsuits over the years. She did rerecord her albums tank. It seems like has been playing it a little bit more close to the chest. What are you guys know about the relationships over the last few years as far as the other background artists tank. Yeah i think. His first three albums are still controlled by barry. I've seen a couple of things where he is said. You know. I would like to get my masters back. But yet he didn't go to the extent of a lawsuit yet. I think tony had one album. But i think she sued. I'd have to check the record. But i think she sued to get out from under him. Management wise in she did record one album. And then naturally you've got timberland. I think a lot of people might think missy was involved on the label but only in terms of work. She wasn't signed or anything to black round. And then i think it static major dan that that also worked on the latest last album. Yes some of that was on the publishing side like missy was a writer on publishing side. Static was a writer on the publishing side but in terms of the artists whose works for timber. Mageuzi those records. I got the sense that those were battles that were long. Frustrating runs and that the artists is really would've just loved to have had the message back so that they can do whatever wanted with rather than basically being hung out in something no so far beyond their control and also where they are enjoying this not a disrespectful way but they are the bit players in this kind of larger family drama and the odds that a gioja record would magically get properly released but the records would not get properly. Released is probably noticing. That ever would have happened. I thought maybe on some level the timberland albums maybe could be the things that would break down because timberline is someone who you know is an incredibly popular performer and producer who has a lot of leverage on a lot of cloud and a lot of lawyers. But i guess you know. It's so sensitive because of his work on on the lear records that you know it probably was even too sensitive for him. Well and i think it goes back to berry knowing that is catalog in its entirety with his jewel. And he will. He was going to put it out. Who's going out all together and in way that really maximize what he knew that he he had exactly. He did say he wanted the best. He missed his sister. Very much was very the word to use. It was very prayerful that they understand. How did this. Why did this in that you know. He seemed to have some hope at the end that they're going to be able to get together. But then the the families out that that lasts social media message saying we just ask for forgiveness at this point in. We're going to move forward. So i dunno. It's kind of like be careful. What you wish for me of amy wine-house documentary and and the family dynamics there. The boyfriend has been and all that. And you're out here creating music and you get famous and then it kinda goes left field. I think i've been struggling to try to imagine a scenario where everyone would have been happy. I just don't know if there was one you know in a sense. This kind of like brute force were doing this and if you know all we can do is sorta hope the family will get on board. But here's all the music that everyone's been asking for to be honest for most fans. They're not gonna know much about the backstory. they're not going to know much about the tug of war. There's going to be happy. Oh i can finally stream if you're only new. They're happy about that right so really it's for like the diehards the purists and those in the know that you would hope that there'd be some kind of universally appealing solution but it just may well be that the the fracture in this family is a ribbon so deep that that was not on the table. And that's that's feels. Yeah and i think there's two things i think that's one of the things is that that's the reason why there was nothing. Nothing happens for so long. They were attempts. I think to try to come to a solution that works for everybody and it just have running into the same wall again and again and eventually rocky time is kind of where got to after a little while and then the other thing is just. I don't know if there would have been a way through unless he said enough is enough and we have to do this. And that's kind of where eventually came to but then that's also why i think it was important for both gal in the to lay it all out in story as well. Just in case it carries here is all of the reasons why this is kind of stuck in stock allow and also on top of that. I mean i wanna at least mention the complex story from a few years ago by stephen wit which kind of touched on obviously berry in the family didn't participate in that story but but has additional backstory especially on some of the litigation between carson in some of the other black artists and and some of mary's other potentially more nefarious things that he'd gotten up to there's a lot of context in that story as well for those who are interested in in some the longer arc as well last thing i wanna ask both of you is. I personally have been quite surprised with. I almost want to say how seamless this rollout has been. It just feels very if you didn't know how how hard it was to get here. I feel like you would think everything was totally good. It seems like it's organized. Its military precise. We got this album this week this out in the next week. There's other out in the following week. We add vinyl that you can pre-order. We've got tick toxin. We've got all this stuff. Has there been anything that has been unusually surprising or revealing to you about the rollout now that we were here. I'm surprised actually haven't even now still even we've filed the story was instill until even after the story came out until i actually streaming services. I wasn't entirely sure what happened while while gayle. What about you. I was happy in the fact that elites getting rediscovered the catalog. Because again i think. There's some seminal albums in there on the hip hop side is well that folks should be aware of sync licensing. All that kind of stuff can be used. I think telling point this guy. barry is still gung ho. Just he started blackground point. I guess you'd call it. Which empire is supposed to be distributing as well. He's got a music app. I mean he's he's ready to to just keep going so it's gonna be interesting to see how the rest of the deal with empire pans out the availability of these songs weather for samples or use in film television commercials. God forbid but still you know. That's really major. And that's something that we take for granted now certainly twenty years ago. You'd be like oh you know us rb songs that no one's going to do that but now we we obviously don't you know it's given but what was interesting in this. I'm glad you mentioned that because that's to me. That's the interesting tension in the piece that you guys did which is on the one hand. This is berry in the twilight allegedly of his career. He has this big asset and he's finally trying to like restore order. You know it's been twenty years of agony and sorrow and anxiety and uncertainty. And he's trying to set it right you know he's in his seventies now he's trying to set it right so on the one hand. It's berry henderson. Setting things right owned sitting by the stream and watching the horses right and then on the other hand it's like i thought that was fascinating and i agree. I also sort of curious because this gone. So is it a springboard for another chapter. That will be fascinating to watch. Yeah time will tell gail dan. What did joy when you today. I appreciate you coming on and chopping it up. Yeah thank you john. You didn't you know. I'm used to being behind the scenes like dan. You know so. Thank you for for having a on. Thanks originally i really appreciate it of course gale as the as the oj table. What recently reissued liaison. Would you like to go out on the second analyst. john. I'd love to hear rock the boat. We'll be back with more in a minute. Poster left this podcast is supported by lincoln. Linked in is partnering with creators. Were eager to make more than just content creators who want to start conversations about the world of work and build a community in the process. The lincoln creator accelerator program is investing in creators giving them a dedicated creator manager a built-in creator community and a fifteen thousand dollar grant to help bring their vision to life. Create more than content create conversation visit linked in dot com slash creators to apply. Today this is so many sengupta. I'm the international climate correspondent at the new york times. I've reported from over forty countries on five continents. I've seen firsthand. How the impacts of a hotter planet are already being felt and so. I'm also trying to better understand how we can live differently in. The era of climate change can reshape. Our cities can we eat more sustainably. Can we shift away from the fossil fuels that warm the planet. Can we make this big shift equitably. We'll ask these questions and more at the new york times climate hub in glasgow this november. A festival of ideas reimagining our future. We'll have exhibitions and workshops. we'll have conversations with leading scientists thinkers and times journalists. All this alongside. The international climate talks happening nearby in new york times. Climate hub is open in glasgow from november third till the eleventh. Find out how you can attend at ny. Climate hub dot com. We're back segment number. Two friend of the podcast. Naima cochran is back low welcome. I'm happier here. Of course you introduce me. Justice washington heights being real washington heights. Right that's okay french. And the podcast. Really lustrous man. Yeah i like to think so here. I should have like mugs. Made up for all the guests. I apologize thank you so i think you said our merch guy. If you're listening you know just something to think about. So you know her. As a museum and culture critic you know her as being the ongoing bane of copyright twitter listen am. i'm my bio free night for at nine My burner still yuma says i am twitter's. Dmca political prisoner. They get their foot off my neck by. But yet i fight i fight on. I fight on still we fight. Yes if you are interested in the history of r&b and other associated music's naima peak music sermon twitter. You could not have a better replacement for that and twitter just does not want you to thrive. I'm so sorry. Yeah it's you know it's flawed system. They're aware of it in fairness shout to the twitter crew days. They help they help or they cannot really try not to stress the mouth about this issue. The the end is a whole separate conversation but the process to appeal this stuff. It's ridiculous. yeah we're talking about lia today and what. I specifically want us to talk about ease the role especially these two albums. Obviously one in a million from nineteen ninety-six and self titled record in two thousand one the role that they played in the genre at the time and was missing as generations and generations of rb singers and pop. Singers were referencing it and they weren't even available really in any real way. So can we go back to the to the mid nineties for a minute and obviously we're at one in a million were after the r kelly moment so we can leave that we can leave to the side at least for now. We'll leave that to the side of the conversation. One in a million to my memory in time felt deeply futuristic. This was a startling record at the time. When elias title comes out five years later somehow that still felt like it was the case she was doing all this work that the rest of the genre which especially in one thousand nine hundred six. This is our be really trying to understand where it belongs in emergent hip hop pop ecosystem. It right what. The relationship is gonna be an excellent of low key playing the back starting to play the back a little bit. The thing about one in the million. That is so striking is it is very firmly in oran be record anybody's forward-looking it is not necessarily directly. Engaged with whatever's happening on bad boy nineteen ninety-six. It's moving in a totally different space. Talk me through that album in its day. Well the first thing. I want to say in full. Disclosure is that i actually was brought on as a consultant for the release of the album's for the very reason that we're talking about now. They really need it to be placed in context even as they were being reintroduced and also that might explain why the rollouts been good. No thank you. i'm just. I concluded the don't notice but concluded the previous than by basically being like aren't you also prize at the role. So okay we'll take it. I'll take you to the partner. Great team but one of the things i said to them. When i first came on board it was like we have a whole generation of adults who have never pressed place top to bottom on these two alita records in in. It's important that you hit on n sequences. They were meant to be listened to that. Said i do want to add on what you said. Audience elitist soul separated herself from r kelly. By the second album. It was not a conversation anymore. I think people really need to understand that. We did not talk about them anymore until long after her death and also worth understanding that the way that our kelly moved in the discourse at that time he was tolerated. It wasn't like we talked about our kelly. Now he was at that time he was tolerated. Now obviously we could have a side conversation of that the overall health of that choice but it was not treated. Even though vibe had uncovered the marriage license and so on so forth it was not considered a bail scandal. It was creepy not at that level. Yet as obviously look back on it and saying exact action never have happened obviously. So that's a flaw. A generational flaw. It's a generational flow. But i also feel like it's important context because i find that now given the environment and now people find it very hard to discuss her without discussing. How and i just think when you're putting the album in this time of her life and context you have to really understand that like we barely still associated her with him like you almost forgot that even existed because she did a her image was so different. So here's the thing you visual aesthetic rebrand. It's a sonic rebrand. Yes and now. She's with a camp now he has simple. This is also temple embassies. Origin story static majors origin story for us right. So that said you're right. It was a completely futuristic sound. It didn't sound like anything on the radio. We were in this transition period between kind of like the hip hop soul era. Now all the way into the blink era just yet so we're in this interesting packet of r&b like you said where it's doing a dance with hip hop were now is not just hip hop features pops about the r&b. That's what happened in the next couple of years. Hip hop eight army. But we're not there yet the thing about a lia. That was special. Is that and i see people making mention of this now. She didn't sing like mary or tony. Or even brand your monica who are her direct peers. Right she had a software voice. I dunno soft is the right word but she wasn't a lower not a power singer right. She's not a power singer. She wasn't giving you anything from like eighties. Quiet storm soul singers. You weren't listening to a lia in hearing black church. Let's listen to you. Four page letter. Because i think this is like a good song to kind of capture. What we're talking about day to this day you. I never think of a li As an under singer to me and under singer or someone who can do big doesn't is a pointedly mellow even low key lightly husky sayer. I think mellow is perfect. As she's cool like everything about her was cool so it was almost like. I'm not even going to give you toni's vocals because i don't have to. I hosted a clubhouse room the other week for the anniversary in diane warren was saying that she can do anything when she warmed up in studio before she did. How could the one i gave my heart to. She was doing like opera runs. That is one of the real singing songs on this record right. It's of the real singing songs. And she may choices. That were harder than the references. Diane gave her so. I think i wanna clarify that. Because you know some people say that set the stage for kind of like what we call them. Maybe like the more imo. R&b girls who don't sing all the way out the sierras. The a merisi does this is to nash as etc. But she could interesting. And i think part of that was also about tim right. Like how hard are you gonna sing over these temp tracks. She had kinda ride that a little bit. I think it was a really perfect marriage. And it's an interesting concept because she's not saying like mary she's nothing like brandy or tony when you think about the way that that generation of singers oriented themselves in and around what was happening in hip hop what they were offering was a value proposition. That hip hop itself couldn't quite nail hip hop was not preoccupied with melody. Y- bob from a song structure perspective. There were things that were happening. That rb singer could deliver that rappers of that era warrant delivering or chose not to deliver leah makes a choice and obviously the the sonic foundation from. Tim is part of this but a lien makes a choice. That's not a rejection of what's happening. Strictly speaking it's almost like it's on a different plane. It's on a different light gravitational field in never felt like. Oh she's doing some other things like you know doing something that's like hostile to the mainstream. She's just like not playing the same game. she's playing some other game exactly as we've over the course of the last year so been looking back at that era words. She debuted last year when the monica story was revived. A lot of people were revisiting. The fact that like you know. They all came out within a year of each other but was never compared to brandon. Monica and it never even across. She didn't feel like it. It was like kids is doing our own thing right. As she always was that she was always separate like. I do not remember a singer at the time other than saying that she might be the successor to janet that was ever compared to the singer of that era who she actually career wise as the most uncommon with not necessarily sonically but career-wise. Erica do agree with that. And arab i do is someone who also clearly was aware of the dominant discourse and just made choices that did not participate in it and consistently moved further and further away from it chasing her own news. And you've got the sense from album to album three with lia. That was going to continue to be what her decision tree. It was gonna be. Yeah but i do think if we look forward to self titled really quickly. I think that as liam matured. There's a possibility that we would have gotten. I think of light riyana. However janas vocals have gotten stronger over time as she's matured as an at think we would've seen a similar path woulda eliya. Also because she's maturing her subject material will be maturing which means that she will be taking. Maybe a different artistic approach which is a slightly evolved artistic approach. But yeah i think it was a combination of things. I think it was first everything about her. Because we can't talk about the disruption sonically without just talking about how unique she was as an artist. Alita did not strike me then nor does anything strike me now as the product of marketing. Everything about her look herself possession. People talk about her being very shot. I think it's reserved more than shy because nothing on stage. Nothing in interviews about her scenes timid or anything. I think it was just like a self preservation and a reservation but she was just all cool. It was very cool. It's like heart rate's not getting but so i zinc you mean cool. In the true sense of sends she was very cool and and in working with the empire team afforded me opportunity to go back and really revisit a lot of footage of her and already knew about her but now further on in my career having done this having worked with artists now having the luxury of to go back and look at it through the lens of history You'll you can't teach that you can't coach that you can hit a sixty seven eight but you can't coach that you either have that or you don't and i think that was part of Perfect sonic moment. I think it's one of those handful of tom's. Like jannine jimmy harrier jemaine usher where we really just got this. Perfect singer songwriter producer. Combo were there. Parts fit together perfectly are their songs on one in a million that are not the hits that kind of sticking your mind as emblematic eliya songs. I have a couple. But i'm curious what you think of. I gotta admit. The singles are my favorites on one million. Not necessarily on the self title but the intro to meet is such a moment. 'cause you got it starts with missy leo. Wake up interest as you're now about the enter into new something. A font ending got lille like singing her own name. And i got to the street. It just is something about everything in that. That's kind of like announcing this. New era that i love and and that was the real thing for me is like people. There are people who hadn't heard that who are impress. Playing which was crazy aren't so let's listen to that. Does the intro. It's called beats for the streets and then let's listen after that. Just a tiny bit of choosey lover old school new school. It's not like i don't own these records. Obviously i own these records. But i haven't revisited them. You know just because life is complicated and there's only so many hours in the day and it was really striking to listen down to both of these albums over the last couple of days. I agree with you on this album. The singles are certainly the stand out songs but i was struck on choosey lover. I was struck on the one. I gave my heart to. With just how robust the stuff that in essence is on the historical cutting room floor. Work there aren't the songs that people talk about that much. Maybe the one. I gave you a little bit more. But here's a singer who was alive. Had a fluidity of saying who understood ways to melt into production rather than attack a production and this is why. I say it's different from generation. What was happening with the mary and post mary sanger's interacting with hip hop. Would you very much had in that universe where r&b singers singing on rap songs. This was not bat. This was a voice as an instrument of texture and rhythm that was interplay with a producer who had a very unconventional idea about spacing. And how much space should be in a beat. You couldn't really hear leah. Imagine saying yon puff records. Pop record or so chaotic there. So there's so many things happening on those songs. Spend ironically john. There's so many things happening in. Tim songs right. It's almost like the hip hop version. Expected us wallace. Sound right like there's so many things happening that they all they all go together. You almost can't pick them apart. Whereas what puff you can bury my student. And i read somewhere that originally they wanted puff album but there was like a scheduling conflict. So let's all thank god. Yeah let's be thankful for that because imagine what would have happened differently. But this is also where. I got really dizzy credit. Also to like to michigan timms partnership that missy knew how to write for town and that they both were able to that elitist something them and they saw bob in lia where they could you know give her a direction going. Says she can just happen that flow. We should clarify. Did not write her lyrics. She was not a song writer. He was not on these albums in other aspects. But on these albums for one in a million was missy and an static major of player who was also part of the swing mob production which is where to embassy met genuine and nicole wray etc and then for the red albums. Titled album was mostly static. He was the main songwriter. Let's pivot self-titled. Because i agree. There's a sense of scale on this album. It's still very forward-looking but it feels a little bit brighter. You think about more than a woman. Let's listen to more than sweat. Shot de more than woman is. I feel like it's what the pop singers of the next five years. Were trying to rip off a little bit not necessarily are embracing the next five years with a pop singers in the next five years felix. This is the energy they were trying to rip off definitely was up that pop in be of early audits is really signaled in here and the thing about more than a woman thing about the red mental not allow people is like it was my favorite album. I think for me in part because in the stall aware was when one million came out versus the red album win a million had been a favorite among but always knew the red album was sonically like it was more mature and it had grown. But it's kinda edging one in a million out a little bit as i revisited and more than a woman is one of those like when i listen back to it now. I'm kind of assess now like not that. I wasn't before but it will come out today. It could have come out today. There not a lot of music from twenty years ago that you could throw on the radio right now and it fit right on an in more than a woman even the video show you how right now as a couple closing options for some of the background but more or less is still ruts in you know. I remember when people ask about this release. Which unfortunately you can't talk about albums released without also talking about her death. The sense of loss was so heavy. Not just because she was such an incredible artists in person for all new her but selfishly from a fan perspective. It was almost tangible to feel like her career on a launchpad not that she wasn't already a star. But you heard so much potential in this album. That just imagining where it was gonna go next. I think it really is the one of the greatest or at least most solid freshman. A sophomore to third album arcs that we've seen in our is really easy for personalities styles and techniques to get lost as you work with different people and as climate changes and this was also a really pivotal time at rb period. Again hip hop was eating rb. We were gone into this top. Be got the boy bands in the christine. As brittany's out here on the one side and the tlc's and i know eventually when you get to the mid two thousand which you have or or embi producers whether it's tim or people like polo or whoever is essentially just being like we're making pop songs. Now i don't know if it's the money's too good or the creativity bigger whatever but it's like you sort of think about why. The bottom was falling out of the genre at that time and partially it's because hip hop eating and partially is because poppies getting wise and pop is basically like. Oh we're just gonna cannibalizing this come work over here. And so i imagine there's probably a lot of rb singers. Who came up in the early to mid two thousands who were like looking at both sides and like where the hell my supposed to go arm was having a full identity crisis. 'cause we had neil soul we had this toppling and stuff. We had the more traditional stuff which was now considered very adult and it was getting pulled in all these different directions in. It ended up getting lost in the mix. A lia had that combination of star power pop appeal without it feeling forced. And i think that's the important thing just like you said a million. The self tied allow masan very much a r&b album even though is pop me. But i don't think anybody would ever looked at doesn't like oh. She tried to make a pop album which we can we can. Here's some times when artists try to make a pop album. This did not feel like she tried to make a pop. The textures are two. Serrate there to zing zing zang. You know there's too much happening in the texture to think objectively. They're trying to make just a straight boring pop record. They just made such a spectacular and chris. R&b record that kind of almost had nowhere to go but pop pop had to accept it and take it on. Its own terms on this album. Is there era. Non single that really sticks with you. This was cheating. Because it's technically a single but i think it's a very underrated single but i care for you which was actually a holdover from it was supposed to be online in a million. I think is amazing. It's amazing and it's partly amazing because the torch valley right in a singing a torch. Maui is amazing. it's and deliberate and seductive in retro. And it's just not assad of her that you hear often or at least not since i would say at your best you are love. It is reminiscent a vet artless. Give into carefree why it seems lacking to pick up on the you touched on before which is the the layers of influence and the micro generations bad followed. Who are cribbing from the playbook. You know sometimes. I can you mentioned tamasha or somebody right and like i feel like sometimes icy it and i hear it in. Its but sometimes. I'm just like tanaka he's doing is she's channeling janet. And there's a full weakness to janet in there was never even in the uptempo songs on the self titled eliya is somehow she's in the cut on up tempo songs like she's kind of like just behind them a little bit. She's kind of like. I'm here because this is my party but i'm not really like out in front wirtten right. I hear a lot and says a frankly. In the way that says the things and the way that lingers i do feel like i hear a lot of the lia seven streeter even seven. I don't think it's played in a while. She quoted as her primary influence all the time. I feel like you can't talk about the long of influence without talking about the most essential. R&b singer twenty tens drake as much as i really don't want to apply. Give much as i say now is now i mean and you know what's what's what's funny about that is that it goes back to the whole conversation of like some people were having the real arm. Be king arm be debate. A couple of years thankfully are on an art back around which i appreciate but you know a few years ago. It was lightweight. Drake is really the best rb artists out here. And he's a rapper. But it is that right is one thing about leia's songs that they weren't really heavy. They weren't really heavy but they still kinda struck. The right chord with you like we said that the singing was a light touch. There wasn't a lot of acrobatics and all that but you could tell that she had tone. I and i do think that drake matches that. I don't really fully understand his his whole thing with her. What i have read a lot. And i think this a tattoo. He hasn't touched resume but people have kind of given her credit for even though it came later being kind of like the patron saint of this imo r&b period. We went through. If you wanna call it and people call it alternative only And being everything up. Zombie where you know the kids sally there in the feelings and all of that and i could see that i and andrey is the leader of that right so so that end yes i can. I can absolutely student. even at a leah's most felt deeply felt. She always seemed a little bit. Like you say to cool to feel deep really what it comes down to for me. It's not so much about the feeling it's about the viscosity and it's about the way that the tone of the voice melt in to the tone of the production in that understanding because that's not simply a melodic choice. That's a rhythmic choice. That's a singing approach choice. That's baked into two or three different like vectors right. It be speaks like an incredibly high performing intelligence to sort of be like. I could do this any number of ways but i'm gonna do it this way and also say man production are going to be co stars on this right in. There has to be a really deep marriage in partnership between. You and the person doesn't studio with you to do that. And i think that's something that we've lost in the email era like people send you a track you on the tracks as opposed to like the track is coming together while you're there you're changing emerald time and draken forty have that's exactly it and that's why i think the genuine success stories to me steadily of the last like ten years. Not that you can't have a great song come out of the email method but it's really like teens whether it's producer and singer or producer rapper. Or it's singer and songwriter. It really any number of versions of that but to me. The people who are making the most progress are the people who are locked in with their people and then when other people come to the party like when you show up at a drake record even if you're a nigerian singer you know you're coming for a drake song. You know what i mean like. It's your coming from your own scene but you're part of that larger vision and these albums. These two albums are true larger vision. I'll say definitely are larger vision albums. And i also think it is a testament to something. I don't think we're used to anymore. Which is where. This song is written with this artist in mind nine long and i gave it to this artist which is a very different thing. I wrote this wit their tone their style. I didn't do a reference strike and whoever can sing it. And since it the three singers. Tim did these four static. Did these for her missy. Did these also if your girl only new is the only one that wasn't specifically for leeann as the one that got him in the door and it still worked. So there is an aspect of that kind of partnership that used to be a common story and we don't hear it the same way anymore and that allows for what you're talking about because we also after lewinsky. This era of this is the super producer era right so the production is star. The production has decided vocals or secondary or the vocals are the star and production is secondary. But like you said. I kinda tandem whereas like neither one of us has taken more than other. We're here together this duo. That's rare even. If you think of the actual like parallel in its time which may be is the neptune's and cleese maybe hypothetically it's still not saying they're still a little bit of a tug of war happening on those records. And i liked those records but they're still a little bit of potato production a little bit. Yeah and potentially with the producer you but you don't at all get the sense that there is any friction thing happening here on these albums. And and i think that's why they're just so magic right because when you listen back at it. Now even thames production evolved. Even though you can hear so many has become tim signature even his production got a little more involved in lowell nauseam producing happening. But you could tell. There was amused here right. So it's very like i'm gonna play to her and and she's playing to him and same thing lyrically. It was very balanced. I think that's why it all aged so well. I'm glad that everybody gets to hear it. In its fullness now for all the listeners who have not gotten to like fully believe in these albums and bathe is a very deliberately choice of verbs like. I hope they will do that. Naima what a pleasure. Thank you so much. I'm always still be here. Thank you for. Having me name of the realist. Thank you. Thank you too. Gail and to dan dan for calling in the first segment. That is our show. Listen every podcast everett. Ny times dot com slash pop gas getting the facebook groups getting the discord. The link to the discord on facebook group. Subscribe to pop gas anyway. Get your audio content apple spotify stitcher yada yada yada. Our producer is page. Rosetta from head stepper media. We will be back next week. Let's go out. This is try again often.

berry leah r kelly dan rice blackground gail gail dan Naima cochran kelly barry missy barry barry gail mitchell Hang kherson elisa the new york times twitter timbaland missy lia Kelly r kelly dan
How Indigenous fire practices could help to combat future wild fires

The Current

20:28 min | 3 months ago

How Indigenous fire practices could help to combat future wild fires

"Hi i'm josh. Block host of uncover escaping nexium from. Cbc podcasts. I pull back the curtain on the secret of self help group that experts call a kalt and follow one woman's heroic journey to get out. The podcast was featured in rolling stone magazine and named one of the best podcasts of two thousand eighteen in the atlantic listened to uncover escaping nexium on. Cbc listen or wherever you get your podcasts. This is a cbc podcast. We all know what fire can do when it's out of control warning where the canary in the coalmine. Climate change is happening now. It's happening fast. That's the lesson for everything. Seems the same and seems fine until it changes in an instant. And everything's gone gordon. Murray had to flee lytton bc earlier this summer when a fire ripped through the village and like you said everything is gone this summer communities across the country are being ravaged by wildfires and it might seem strange but my next guests will explain why they think. Part of the solution to these disasters is more fire. Indigenous communities have known for centuries that in the right circumstances are landscapes. Need fire amy. Cardinal christianson is a multi research scientist with the canadian forest service and she's been working to reintroduce the practice of cultural burns in canada. Good morning amy. In whining how are you. I'm very well thank you. Can you help us understand this. What exactly is a cultural burn. Sure so cultural burns irv basically where we use fire on the landscape to achieve cultural objectives in one of the benefits is actually usually that you were use what we call fuel loading in the forest so you know the amount of vegetation that's their that's able to burn that really sometimes is what's driving some of these fire events that we're seeing right now and how is it cultural burn. How's that different from a controlled. Burn the cultural burns that we do are often low intensity. They're done at a certain time of the year. When conditions are really low risk for getting those big out of control fires. Generally you know. We're doing undergrowth or kind of meadow or a grasp burning controlled burns or done for the primary purpose of f. Hazard risk reduction. Sometimes they can also have ecologica purposes but yes sometimes you get you know those big fires. So we're we're you see like candling of the trees and other things were as cultural burning. That's really what we're trying to avoid when you say that Cultural burning is done for a cultural objectives. What would be an example of that. Sure so. I think one of the coolest examples that i know is actually from henry. Lewis's work in northern alberta. You know we have frozen ground a lot and you know snow on the ground so lots of times especially in the north when it starts to melt the ground will remain frozen so what that Danon woodland creek communities would do up. There is is they would go into the meadows and burn in the very early spring. And what happens is you would turn the landscape then from kind of a dry dead grass to black and that black observes the heat of the sudden basically warm up the soil and then you get The frost melted out quicker and you get earlier green girls and men what that does is it attracts animals to the area so a moose and deer and other animals that we hunt for cultural purposes. So perhaps it's not the primary objective to prevent wildfires. But would you say that cultural burns could do that as well. Definitely so you. What cultural burns do is basically produce mosaic on the landscape. So we're you. Have you know different stages of forest and you're basically also trying to promote in many communities meadows and other things so when you have a fire and it's kind of through it's hitting all those kind of different layers of vegetation. Basically the fire behavior will act differently for example. What we're seeing right now especially in northern bc as we almost have in some places monocultures of forest and so monocultures when you get a fire and there they basically just burn through that like nothing was very little in fire intensity change but when we have this mosaic landscape as the fire moves through. It'll change and Knows when it encounters these earlier succession for us or meadows. That's where firefighters also can be active in putting a fire out because the fire behavior is less intense emmy. Why aren't cultural burns as common as they once were. Will you know in canada. We have a history of colonization unfortunately as settlers kind of came across canada. They also brought with them european forest management styles. I think it was kind of those almost conflicting types of knowledge. So you know. in canada. We had people are indigenous. People find jailed for starting fires and basically being told that that knowledge wasn't wasn't valuable and we call that like a cultural severance activity were basically. They were disconnected from being allowed to do that. Cultural practices on the landscape. There have been calls to bring back cultural burns especially in this conversation. We're having around the wildfires in canada this year. How do communities mitigate any potential for these cultural burns getting out of control. Yeah i think that's the beauty of called show burns's that it's done by people who have the knowledge of the landscape in that local area that they live in and so they're always Conducted Generally at low risk time so especially in the north where i'm from. It's usually done around when the snow's melting so you often burn meadows when you know you still have snow in the forester. you know. Cutting of standing water around that that's melting so that that's the importance of cultural. Burning is that time for burning is is really critical. What kind of response have you heard when there are calls to bring back cultural burns. How governments responded to this burma research. I think we find that. Lots of indigenous communities across canada. You know want to bring this back and are obviously frustrated and devastated with what's happening on. I've been working with litton and the ink lapoma national or tribal council there. They really want to bring back cultural burns. But there's just so many barriers that are in place and so you know it's devastating to you. Know want to bring this back. Know that it'll help the landscape and then see forest burning all around you kind of every summer so yeah. I think there's a lot of bears in the way but as i said it comes down almost two again. Those big questions of like indigenous sovereignty who owns the land who makes the decisions there and then. Who's the expert. What type of knowledge can be used their understand. Maybe that you have hesitated to say though that the cultural burning would have necessarily prevented the the and fire that we can't exactly fireproof. Towns and cities is that correct. Yeah i mean. Climate change is a thing here. Unfortunately where you know to see fifty degrees celsius in the town and the interior of e c for you know a sustained period of time is things that we haven't seen before. But i think you know with cultural burning really. What you're doing is trying to reduce that fuel load to give firefighters a chance and we see really good examples from australia. And from the us of where indigenous fire managing cultural burning is being brought back in a really Good and positive way. That's helping with fire events. This is the perfect time to bring in our next guest Amy colonel kherson. Stay on the line if you will I'd like to bring someone in from across the border to this conversation. Don hankins is a planes milwaukee fire experts and professor of geography and planning at california state university chico. Last year four point one million acres burned in california making it the state's worst ever fire season. Don good morning to you. good morning. What kinds of results have you seen both in terms of renewing the land and wildfire control from from cultural burns in california for california a-. We're just beginning the process of being cultural burning back into the landscape. And you know it didn't fully disappear but in many places it kind of went underground where communities were were just using fire in very isolated ways and so if we think about the scale of today we're probably it s keel. Were maybe we're at six thousand five thousand six thousand acres per year. That people are burning within the landscape. But i think the bigger thing that's there in terms of what we're learning is that there's a lot of different pieces to it that are important in terms of overcoming smooth barriers. That amy was talking about such as building. Awareness of what cultural burning actually is and what the utility of it is within the landscape so when we have agencies like in california are cal fire for instance or the us forest service or other agencies that had control of fire for over a century. Now they can see that the approach in knowledge of the way that they've fought fire and use fire within the landscape is still something that they don't understand fully from the cultural side but when they see cultural practitioners out doing things they recognize that there's something that they can learn. There's something that they didn't know. And in terms of like the timing of fire and and how to use it in different ways and those sorts of things that are very ingrained in culture and even though california indian people in particular haven't been able to use fire over that time period and really going back in some ares too early spanish settlement time in the mid seventeen. Hundreds people still have that knowledge. That knowledge was still transferred to say. This is how things would be done or whatever so. That's the kind of thing that i think is really important. That makes it practical to our our landscape today ever seen performance or work of art and wished you could sit down and talk to the person who made it to really talk to them. I'm helga davis. And i'm having those everyday conversations with extraordinary people like visual artists. Nick cave actress and disability advocate merrily talking ten and author jason reynolds in partnership with park avenue. Armory listened to helga the armory conversations. Wherever you get podcasts. We've been talking about cultural burns from a big picture perspective but for you. This is personal. You've been doing cultural burns for for years. What's it like for you to be involved with one of these burns for me. you know. and i've had the fortune of being able to burn not only here in california but also do research australia and to me when i'm able to engage around cultural burning i feel a connection a very strong connection to the landscape regardless of where i'm at i feel a connection to the ancestors of those places and the whole system so what i mean by that is i feel like i'm part of the ecology of that place when i'm doing that where you know when i'm involved in doing prescribe burns or you know helping with suppression activities went when and where i can jump into those activities. I don't feel that same connection It's it's done in a totally different way and so for like indigenous burning. It's done by reading the landscape and knowing when it's appropriate to burn it's something that's it's almost like the ability to do time travel you know if you could imagine going going back across generations. It's something that people have done for so long that you finally feel part of it to be able to participate in it. Both of you mentioned australia. And there's something else that's quite interesting. That's happening there. Of course australia seen massive bushfires in recent years and because of this indigenous communities have started practicing cultural burns again and it's also become a way for these communities to generate income. I wonder if we could just listen to a clip. Here by william nikolas. He's worked in australia. He's now doing similar work in british columbia. Take listen indigenous burning. Australia has been a success. Story on a number of measures economic cultural and ecological. What happened in the early. Two thousands is the conaco phillips came to indigenous australians in northern australia and they negotiated a deal with indigenous. Australians would burn off lodge sablan skype and implement that traditional billing practices the carbon emissions from these early dry season fires a calculated against what you'll mitigating in the late dry-season so that difference can be marketed as carbon credits. These now generate tens of millions of dollars in revenues each for communities across northern australia and employ thousands of indigenous peoples in remote areas with jobs. Come by evidence from australia. Shows that these communities that are engaged in five stewardship of their lands tend to exhibit better health outcomes and bits social incomes and bid economic outcomes. They have funds the money that have jobs and taking a first ever gathering voices. Society to implement programs in bc potentially cross canada to revitalize indigenous burning into to mitigate these ties in the significant cabin emissions from these five. So that was william nicoletta who works with a group gathering voices society. They're in the process of setting up similar economic programs here in canada. Amy wasn't important for cultural burns to also have an economic benefit for communities. Yowl i think you know in order to be able to do cultural burning where it makes a difference like dawn was saying like it's it gets frustrating when it's always kind of these one off burns you know where you can kind of find funding other things but what we really need to see is sustained investment or funding in communities to be able to do this type of burning as they can see you know planning for it and then carrying out the burns when they can and i think that you know with the carbon offsets that that basically gives a source of revenue than the communities can use to hire people to be able to carry out these burns so it is positive. I've heard from some nations. They're a little bit concerned about entering that program. Basically just give big polluters the option basically to be able to pollute more. You know. I've heard others say that you know that this is an important step. You know to get funding to be able to kind of create these programs almost like a seed funding We're you know we can really make a difference on the landscape in the in the communities. Don how much money is there for that in california and how much more needs to be invested to see widespread results. Would you say well in california. We're undergoing a large investment by the state government to fund indigenous burning and other Actions around it. The specific target. That i've seen number wise for indigenous burning. Support is around twenty million dollars beyond that. I think it's important to think beyond carbon and not to think about it as a market economy and ecosystem services but rather think about the whole package and would it actually achieves from like biodiversity conservation and community health and air quality. And all those different things and really what. We're trying to invest in. His is a desired future condition within our landscape. And that's really where we probably should be thinking about it and not so much of. How much carbon do we actually achieve storage of or greenhouse gas emissions avoidance by being able to burn speaking of generations. I know that you've been involving your daughter's with with some of your work. Why has that been important for you to do Yeah my daughters. Have been burning with me. Sinc- were about six months old and for me. It's really important for them to have that connection. Because it's it's part of who we are. It's it's our culture. And but beyond that i really want them to be able to have the the knowledge and for the way that we train the way that we do things indigenous people. It's not that you sit in a course To become a firefighter or fire lighter for us it's an intergenerational thing in it what i mean by that it's you know young people learning from all generations before them to know how to deal with fire. And so you know my daughters have been able to come out with me personally. Learned but then you know. They've been in australia with me and they've learned from elders in australia. And they've learned from other people that i burn with in the local communities here in california and that helps to build a very strong knowledge base. That's not something you're going to get out of. You know a thirty two hour course in wildland firefighting for instance. We know that climate change is making wildfires. More unpredictable more frequent don. How much time do you think we have to adapt wildfire strategies to mitigate the effects of climate change. I hesitate to venture guests on that. I think every year That we don't do something every day that we don't do something we are falling behind. You know california has been in a long term drought. I would say over twenty years You know we can think about these years that are punctuated by rain events but our climate has been shifting for a very long time. And you know if we look back at payload ecology of these landscapes. We know that larger fires happened in drier times and during wetter times not so many large fires and as indigenous peoples. Amy was saying we've always adapted. And so you know. Climate change has happened not quite the same way but climate changes always happen for us and we've always adapted our strategies around that and so we need to be scaling up with the drying of our landscapes. And we see that happening. We see the landscapes shifting and it's frustrating personally on a personal note for me to see these things happening and no action being taken to actually put fire in the places where it ought to be and you know i'm watching. Wildfires burn the surrounding landscape around me today. And knowing there's places out there that i would have loved to have been able to help bring fire back into that. No plans had ever been even put forward by the agencies to do that so we really need to be doing something and you know while we start out with these baby steps. We really need to be moving fast to get fire right within the landscape before we lose it. Amy i i understand that you also see cultural burns as part of the reconciliation process in this country. Can you explain that. Yes i think just before how i talked about how you know. Removing the knowledge of cultural or the use of cultural fire was really kind of what we see is a cultural severance activity. And you know at that same time we were seeing just disconnection from the from the landscape. Indigenous peoples of first nations being moved onto reserves residential schools. And for me. You know. I i see it as a We all like reunion. Basically so kind of cultural reunion that we can have it. I think you know as don was kind of alluding to there for us. It's more about fire. you know. it's not just you know a cultural burner putting fire on the landscape. It's really a a cultural activity that we do and so it's not only about ecosystem resilience but also about personal and community and and Nation resilience yet. Just you don't get kids out. On the landscape proud of their culture you know and how their ancestors managed the the lad and you know even for for health just being you know out there. Learning about the landscape around them is so important and cultural burning and fire is one way that we can do that. Don amy great to talk to you this morning. Thank you so much mark leisure. Thank you thank you amy. Cardinal christianson is a multi research scientists. The canadian forest service and on hankins is a plane's milwaukee fire expert and professor of geography and planning at california state university chico for more. Cbc podcasts goto. Cbc dot ca slash podcasts.

canada australia california kalt Cardinal christianson canadian forest service amy Cbc Danon woodland creek lapoma national or tribal coun Amy colonel kherson Don hankins rolling stone magazine lytton helga davis jason reynolds cbc litton
Malcolm in The Middle: A Stepping Stone for sitcoms!

Moviac on Crack

40:24 min | 8 months ago

Malcolm in The Middle: A Stepping Stone for sitcoms!

"It's the movie co crack year. Bring new some more podcast episodes and it's been a bit. Did some stuff ventured out on journeys and wet back winson casting so for today's podcast on mostly be talking about disa- show once civic show. I really recently just binged in his seven seasons all with at least almost all with at least twenty episodes and this show is none other than malcolm in the middle. This was one of the Conic thousand sitcoms going on with seinfeld community shrubs in that time period popularity of the two thousands and also in that time period where we had a lot of nostalgia for those two thousands flits and why that is into that this podcast and so the reason. I think why everyone was so obsessed with this show will really unique it captured a mid clap middle class american family in a way not really. Many of the shows did Roseanne which was its own. Little thing but nothing really tackled it as middle class as malcolm in the middle you do pick in a family that really did work to meet me was capturing that kind of nuclear family of the two thousands in america although this one is not like any nuclear family. That is what i'll get into more in so before can go to the characters the actors all that good stuff. I'm gonna bring up like how this connell was conceptualized so it was created by linwood boomer kind of ironic last name he based a lot of this on his own childhood not saying than most of the antics here could have happened because a lot of them are Absurd but you did based on the characters a lot of the environments all from he's kinda world and what he lived was told for most part in the middle and so the also this one of the few sitcoms Middle have no laugh. Track at all. Yeah that's right. This was a sitcom with no laugh. Tracks no none of that. Distraction didn't really have the typical Will either so. That's what really does make him very unique. Amongst the other sitcoms in that time period and they the creators producers they were taking a risk with that luckily in more than paid off as it did last seven seasons. The actors got paid big money so not a win would forever including the audience members and i. I didn't grow up with this show as orange avenue. So i didn't really the show the show and do else or i only i heard of it when i was like seven or eight news reruns on nick at night or whatever and remember seeing hosted all that was like and sounds like a pretty cool show and then only just recently gains weight watchers because life wondering the heights about knows on who moved but it was. And that's where i watched in australia. Surprised naw surprised at the consistency in quality to show had amount humor really brought and just the right. The writing is so good and i kind of get more that in so the way they wrote this was they wanted to make it almost an all white family so every character except the mall is male. Yes wipe ill. I think he guys thinking or annoying. Thinking vote boy is was. It was kinda like that. That's highly idea. And it's about raising three or four boys. Actually the family eventually becomes five. And it kinda showcases. The life in a very over the top comedic Each way and basically it's about that. It's about going through persevering heart aspects of life each street-smart ingenious lot of it is about that. But it's not only about that it's about pointing out that you don't have to be smart to do something really well. And he does showcase showcase steam a lot with its main character. Malcolm wilkerson is last name is barely said the show except for in the pilot episode apparently had wilkerson on name tags so everyone believes that they're the wilkerson owed point is though there's a big gag where the last name is usually cut off like they say what's his last name or something then so they usually off anyways the theme of not having be smart to be doing this kind of displayed the character malcolm and he starts off as this kid. Who's very innocent. you know. He's very bright. You could tell. He's very while attention pretty. No he's kind compared to everyone around. He's kinda like the angel way s you could say anyways pilot episode an-and summary malcolm finds out that he's a genius for the night. You won sixty and he gets put in this class of boards boards of easily the very unpopular group corps. Maj ever hates them in so for the first three to four c. n. japan is see that developed balkan grow along with the crowd board themselves and and then you kind of slowly learn more about every other family members. So you can learn more about the. The younger brother was getting hammered. Now do we wilkerson. He eats more. Troublemakers bit weird. He's kind of odd. Volition does on way to get the upper hand many moments using his cuteness and is very durable posture and basically. He's a very smart character in his own right. Not as scientifically genius. They want this out. He's musically talented has shown later in the early stages of the show. You kinda use. Our office is kind of naive. Skeptical more trouble making less mature like all younger brothers. We still nevertheless the innocent character that y'all kind of like the older brother in the show reese wilkerson. He's the most dumb character for the most part. He's kind of like comments. Slack runs who he's very laid back doesn't use his. generally us. intelligence says advantage is a lot more on the physical end things and he might not even in the fiscal end swallow also kind of socially dumb. He's not really good at anything except for a couple of things you do. Sees cooking is good at Cheerleading validating accounts. He's pretty good at dancing and he's good at some other things so gets of also driving. He's a good driver. And i think rhesus kind of the more less elegant but he's nevertheless the second Behind none other than what's his face. A france wokers so francis. He's actually the oldest brother. He's a big strong maker eastern. What kind of influences. The boys and kind of cherishes breezes. They're troublemaking attitude knees in many ways mentor two brothers anyways. He's never with them in the show is he's mostly boarding school for the first few seasons case point us away with them from the whole series. And you kinda get this kind of gets the most character development. I think out of all the characters because he starts office very troubled. Very troublemaking very sporadic. He's kinda may child and you get to see him. Grow to mature responsible adult and as the series goes on eventually gets a wife of his own and you kinda see that he realizes a lot of destroyed making antics just not appealing to him anymore. I'd say out of all the characters maybe not all some probably gets the most relevant in ends up. Being the first new grows the most now go to the parents. I'll talk about side characters and all about the actors all that and just talk about that. Because i think it's really cool to know so anyways on the parents the dad. He doesn't really changed as much. I think it's the other characters. But nevertheless he's kinda crazy fun. Very manic manic. Dad is very much out of his mind in many moments but nevertheless likes to try new things. He's very talented. Rollerblading speed-walking actually of getting the work on time. And just all that good stuff and apparently was unplayable to white breaking bed yet. Leave me you really think that. How walter welterweight at the same character. Yeah i know so the daddy kind of a very funny crazy personality. The mom is kind of complete opposite. She she's portrayed as very angry very out say hormone acc in a way very heavily hormone very a very evil according to the brothers. And she's in many ways or quintessential karen before carrying existed. And you kinda. You don't really see much change in her set. Maybe i love for the boys. She does tend to really get mad at him and yell at him a lot she also does truly care and she does know a lot about society and she clearly has a grasp on her own life because she's also great advice giver economy year. I'm talking about life in my ways. Early simple doesn't she doesn't really complicate it. She doesn't say do this. He does says works. Just do this. You know she. She simplifies it. Works and we eventually do get introduced to a fifth of In the series and then there is also a sixth form. She doesn't he or she doesn't even appear finale. Literally event brother anyways jamie kherson. He doesn't have much of a personality except for also being a troublemaker. Is very slight escapes. that's a summary of so basically all these characters very unique in their own way. They're all trying to get through the middle class. American life by showing that smarts while they are good you do not get you to get a everywhere. Mash showcased all of the flaws of these characters. I feel like so maybe flawed because they're so socially awkward they don't get themselves in a situation that benefit. Dan this is most show with reese malka. They don't know how to be social the way that's natural will be able to make them likable. The only character that israeli able to do that doing francis they're lot more capable socially in they're also just easier. they can balance it easier. But obviously with every flaw concern strength you know some people cover for their flaws so many ways. Dewey's lack of maturity or smarts in the educational field. Do get filled by malcolm's arts. Malcolm's lack of you know just anything other than school is built up by every one of his other brothers. Reese's i mean. Francis branches comment all around leader. But like he is involved in his own being a man child which is clearly is a lot more mature despite being not as intelligent and lover their do going to our first. Little break in this podcast. So you guys have tell me have you seen. It haven't watched a great show the asking against your first break. We'll be talking more about the actress than solve. Sossio later. forbid listlessness. Some rate. The movie crack's back each year ready to talk about movies. Tv own into the actors of these characters and their portrayals. So i find this to be the fun part. Because i do want to be an actor so it's cool to talk whatever after strength and so all i also get into that kind of talk a little more about the themes because not only adam never really expressed them so. Let's talk malcolm Frankie muniz known for obviously malcolm fan but also for being probably the child started the two thousands with the strategy thing. Kids are now. Frankie muniz was he started like banks dog. Skip big fat wire. And that's only the tip of the iceberg there but essentially he was the big Child teenage actor that was loaning up in the time. That was making money. Point is he played. Malcolm wilkerson to a t. Played that very smart rate eventually self absorbed character to perfection to really tell commits all in not only does he have to be the lead of the show but he also has the brent. The fourth wall lot and building a connection with the audience which is very hard to do when your characters. No the smartest in the most egotistical. It's very hard new chievo. I think for communities a good job at keeping that related ability lot. Not only that may not be the funniest character. He's definitely a most wisecracker in the most fun to be around even if he can be a bit of a stressful characters while the follow. Nevertheless frankie muniz does convey. I'll come with such a common sense even a lot of roasting in some ways you'll be able to very calmly roast without going in being late aggressive that only shows up in later seasons nominee. Talk about obviously dewey walkers. And he's played by eric Of worcester massachusettes. He's actually one of the best child actors. I've seen that mean. I've seen many of nearly joel. Osman in strain in notch. Stranger things the six cents. I've seen justin henry kremer versus kramer. I've seen kevin mcallister horrible right. Everyone has air per soul is such a good job now only can eat portray his innocence really well but he's also really be funny. He's just so funny to watch for example one episode where he gets bullied for carrying a purse. This is because he got his bag destroyed. So you kids picking on them right for carrying a purse. Then he beats him up with his purse right and then he takes out a brick nonchalantly. It's one of the funniest moments in the show is also a really funny moment to later on when they're on the airport lowest is being checked out by security. She's complaining about the dewey's all like i have to get to my concert right. Because he's a musical genius and says for god's sake mom letter your booze and so he has is really funny deliveries really capable of being good at comedic timing and he's one of the child actors i've seen on tv. It's a shame he doesn't really act as much as he does because he's so funny to watch is a really good personality. Likable presence great screen presence to any does tend to still show law from malcolm yourself at times because of how funny is an east definitely. I think better in the show at first economies of iraq any into his own becomes more. Someone you end up liking a lot more than you intended which is always nice. Especially when the malcolm becomes Testicles self absorbed very terrible social workers nominee. Golan's release is played by just murphy. He's actually my least favorite actor. I think out of the people at in this cast. I dunno i. There was something about him is earlier performances. Just really cutting onto. It might have been really weird. Line delivery your midi didn't fit the character right away but definitely i think eventually around. He got a hold of Character but he was definitely not the best actor. But i think what's most interesting just murphy was at before he was on malcolm. The middle yet started a show. That was a hundred episodes long. You know that one hundred episodes and he was so young. I don't really remember the name but it was out in the late. Nineteen nineties and using it for one hundred episodes. He was essentially the youngest character on there. It up right now. Sorry Rookie ward happily ever after us to show us in. And he. he's also the youngest actor star in two hundred episodes of tv which does include a middle. So that's a really cool fact. I never really knew that. And yeah. I think definitely grew news. Character more eventually was able to ask a bit of some comedic spice Initially intended i definitely think he does. The mac very wall but i just at first i was like this is not Fan of his acting is acting can be very off. Putting sometimes nominee going to francis fit or action really do love the actor through eat not the act of course in life that he plays really well as needs. christopher masterson brother of dating masterson. Replace chris high seventy show so christopher masterson he doesn't really go job. I think of playing the Manipulative very cunning. Very charismatic francis. Any you can tell. He's a very troublemaking character. Test from his facial expressions. I think he has a lot of funny deliveries. He's very witty. He's good at pay. Mark is funny. And there are many moments inc able to portray character development really. Well like you could tell us child you could tell he has grown up and i think i for masson is one of the better performances. Even if francis is a character kind of become written out of the show season six and seven. that was more matheson's want to direct it right. So kimberly blame him. He did want to do something else. Kawhi to be written out of the show. So you get to see. Friends is less lesson section seven nevertheless you do get the implication that he is growing up that Essentially become more responsible man similar to how a less insane of course and i definitely think. France is one of the directors. But i think out of all child actors. I'd have to say it's between eric. For inter frankie muniz. They're both incredible grown right and number along with parents. So i already gave you. The he plays he's played by bryan cranston. We all know walter white though course al and you know ruby characters but going on how he plays them with such great entity. There's so much intensity so much manage so much humorous performance and he does it all went out and salt works which is very hard to achieve but nevertheless he does who definitely wants to try something new. He has to live this life of being a working dad but he's still finds time. I kids still finds time now fun with them and used essentially voice a reason for them even if he does tend to be a little crazy at times unsure of what to do he does always end up making up for by being very loving caring his kids and this is very much a far cry. From the rule of white replays. A method anti hero. Welterweight is definitely not is definitely that how is essentially a very loving very crazy. Very definitely the funniest character on the show. And yeah that's really all guys avon. But i think the truly the best actor on here is by far a jane. Kastner ix. I can't really say Jane she plays you know she plays lois. She's the moment she actually is the best performance dull to maybe even the best performance on the show because she did get nominated seven times for an emmy. That's no no joke me breaking into gun donated once. That's kind of impressive for a kid his age but getting nominates seven emmys malcolm in the middle in the category of not. Winning is a crime. Jane is amazing. I said she really plays lowest with great emotion. She's so fierce so angry. And i really got that on. You can tell us for such an angry character. She always so what emotion and everything she says she makes one line one insignificant line sound like a quote or monologue and she so good at acting and i really wish would not would talk water only not just talk about iraq. They don't talk that she actually got is karen. I definitely think she only wrong for acting issues. So pherson good in motion on. I really did feel bad for lois. Been no she was such a mitt got. Admission can be a little bit of a hard character like cons. She show fierce at like. You can't really bigger than everything. And she is a very much overshadowed were while the characters just because of dynamite personality. I really did like the actor later. She was so good now. I wanna talk about the prominence. i'd characters that appear these include. Craig fields are anthony as them. Got stevie who's malcolm's best friend since the first episode and Was francis wife so starting on stevie. He's the first friend. Malcolm makes the problems as they both on over comic books. Stevie is a law or a. You know He has no legs that is largely due to the fact that he has liver so we can only really say stuff in very long positive is like i have to. I'm not going to continue. Because if take a long time but stevie kind of asthma and all that it really does add so much comedy to his moments against so many molinari like does maybe a countdown. It's not finished. Because you soc low and it really does make cliches transcended in. It's so funny to watch. And he gets a lot of really funny gags away gets a lot of girls too because of the fact that he's paralyzed and recent estimates so much against enough for us. Essentially one of the great side characters in prank felt spar used lowest co worker. Who does crush on those for the first two seasons up settling in their best friend rubles craig votes far. He appears often. The show is more definitely the wilkerson kind of family friend. In a way you does pop on with the kids and even asks the kids for their help. Sometimes and i'd say anthony. Michael higginson pretty job. Nothing to stand out his but nevertheless the presold Definitely could have gotten a spin off if you wanted to. And now they're side. Character appears often. She placed the wife of francis. She peers mostly in season three when she comes prominent. And you know she's seventeen. She married him in alaska. The novel i there's not only too much. I could say that has been said that the marriage in stuff happens off or anything but just stuff happens. Mocking to talk too much about genie's actor is though really think too much to say literally because he doesn't speak so nevertheless all the actors do such a good job now we're going to the themes of the show so as a pointed out one of these aids is a smart doesn't mean you can be good at everything as one of the prominent teams and it's a good thing to talk because being smarts. Good no everyone wants to have a level smart several wants to believe they're very about the subject but they can't save of the best and malcolm is kind of the embodiment of alcoholics. Leave just because he's a great. Iq just these. He's far means. You can get all the girls that you can get a lot of money. Is money's not one of the problems with things but still yours these kind of beliefs because of smartest does eventually make him. Joe very egotistical all justified self absorbed character and you can blame mourns errands to his. Parents definitely weren't the best when it comes to raising him but he still wasn't good wasn't a good. Are you someone who wants to be well. Light of could it. He constantly annoyed a plane bitch. As one character says tim and it's about not being smart essentially accounting character in another big theme. That gas new pointed out is being grateful for what you have because obviously with the wilkerson. Is there not a rich family at all. They're essentially a family while still live off the scraps and which is kind of similar to shameless shameless. More sexual malcolm in the middle is a lot more about in grateful for that but being grateful for having. Abc this coup cars. Having the house general you could tell they try to be grateful for what they have what they need they they settled with it and it's such a good idea. I feel like the grateful. Mountain middle constantly reminds us of that in that kind of gets into y this show so good. Because it's wholesome it's so wholesome with its seeds images have scenes where you actually feel great. Feel so whole. Hope you still a wholesome. It's so well done because of the writing. Which i'm going to get into more later after this bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-ba week but anyways that's really august say Seems there's definitely movies talk about. You know i've always gonna be dead like by the time that happens so we have to wait for that day. Come you guys won't start your own podcast. Just like i did with yakov crack. You can do the exact same thing but going anchor. Fm or you can host your own podcast of ever. You want whatever topic it. Is you name it cooking sports movies. Tv music ain't start odd casts on anchor. That's i am you can distribute it to many place including spotify. Use it. Google podcasts audio board. There's many places you can distribute it. Download the free app or go to anger. Fm to get started so as many sponsorship before we continue right with the cracked and we are back going on out saying that the themes being smart. Be grateful malcolm in the middle definitely. Wants you to take those lessons with you while it is a comedy show. It's meant to be a sick comment a lot of the stuff. The show is over the top in so outlandish that it wouldn't happen in real life but it also does have moments or is surprisingly kind grounded to reality. I think a lot of this has to do with for nakas character gets involved in situations are very are under his control. Some of these situations mostly may be safe situation school or even a girl. I think one of the best examples was when he tried to prong. He hosted this problem with another person. Downstairs away from the actual prom and us happy but then he lost it because the ju- people up malcolm refuse to believe that that could happen and so his idea of the second problem for the people who were outcast was ruined. And you kind of see that uses Beliefs of the stuff used to leave. That change could actually happen. That these can be fixed. And kinda tell he never really meves stuff on. He can't really go that way. I kinda makes him relatable his some of us you want. You don't like to believe that. Maybe things can't eat like this because we have these preconceived notions that they're always going to be looked at in. This light nocco was never released. The learn this and you kind of see how that effects him ifs consequences in some ways like maybe he always believed the mom was such a terrible person but there were obviously obviously clear moments for the was also really nice really caring for the boys and you can see she was well meaning she just had a very angry Under above it and malcolm never elite changes. Those preconceived notions never really changes is fox as he always stays as this person leaves. If we're always like this were always like us. And obviously jason a character. My point is that way of thinking is still obviously maintained with malcolm stays for the entire series and that's largely due to influence union situation that you can't really get out of not being a sharpest tool the shed in every area of the smarts which does essentially tell us that yeah races kind of the embodiment of a character. Doesn't need to be smart to succeed. Which is pretty obvious. I think especially with his driving drives and he does it so seamlessly and he doesn't even show these smart person and awad is because that's what character is character doesn't need to be smart to accomplish. Essentially a lot more of a grateful. Malcolm's less grateful. But do or grateful. Smart person who actually uses smarts for good rather than just any autistic. Do very much for an angel in this. Rather malcolm was angel passed on to do francis. He's obviously the more connie's a little bit more manipulative character. Look he's kind of the embodiment of light staying the same being a part of the family. Even though you're growing up francis congress bodies that lake state of mind or can't tackle leave his own family or zone real family traits but eventually does become zone and man lives in some arment. Like i said everything should be restated. All of these characters are supposed to resemble why the smart isn't always the best thing why these smart isn't exactly what you need to succeed at everything and mockery middle. A two thousand show takes this wall. I think another thing works pointing out. Why get such stall. Jeff for these shows because of the cinematography. The way shot is like very colorful very bright very sunny if that makes any sense like sunny d. tone of like good old days the sun's out when you're younger you kind of imagine stuff with a lot more. Brightness are leak in the middle really had those bright camera angles rates in august. That made it so it was like that option there joked people go back to unquote all the time. But it's the cinematography that really sealed the deal of it's nostalgia and made it such Showdown within that thousands early thousands period when the internet was just only the only big thing in cellphone driven even out then social media exist. And that's another reason. Why malcolm the middle works so well. It didn't rely on trends and in rely on social media just relied on. Its jokes relied on. Its humor relied Good story and a good thing. It doesn't really have a story to be honest. Obviously the sitcom it's going to have some subplots but they only really last for mostly episode. It's not really meant to be like a show. You have to stay tuned to every episode. It's definitely you show you watch anytime. It wouldn't really matter. It's good to have context but it doesn't really matter when you watch the show because in such a good show that it does that you doesn't allow you to be like you stay tuned and you already know on family. This is another reason. Why malcolm middle such a unique show never really tells you to start watching from the first episode onward. You could really start anywhere you want. I personally started the first episode because guys linear is hell but it was so cool having that kind of freedom and out the middle's also really creative shown menu is is a lot of see. Episodes are very unique in weights film one as an episode where you see multiple perspectives. Maybe and every want another episode so as to what it scenarios like what if the father one with the voice to go bowling one at the mother went with the episode or goalie. And you see that kind of late really creative juice really flowing within the writers. And if you guys know the bowling episode it's icon is hone actually franken unicef was nominated for episode for but hasten point is malcolm the bill is really creative in its episodes in its writing image to be so hold on the field and the writing is back to. It's always really witty. It always made just transcend its cliches. E something much funnier. It's also kind of what mates wholesome. Because it's like you're watching. These boys have fun when you're watching fund you're kind of having fun to in s another thing the show it makes you follow along in imitate the other characters emotion which is very rv achieve. I think and writing good writing. Mix it work. I feel like if writing there wasn't there you wouldn't have gotten the shown like malcolm would probably got in the show low's a lot less iconic in a lot less quotable wouldn't have gotten that lane civil. That's really. I think oregon save of the writing. This show in the conceptualization definitely doesn't need to be remake. This show doesn't year it's gone it's passed. It's run its course. They communicate season work. Amin other shows definitely did try to imitate. I think the malcolm in the middle of some ways. There's show all the middle literally. It's all a middle that had a very similar plot. Feud lost some differences but still kinda similar plot. And i think malcolm middle did set a lot of foundations and tv cinematic stones. It was in that golden age of t. v. comedy danger. Really good now. We're in a golden age. tv drama. But i think the goal naser. Tv comedy was by far the early two thousands and mid two thousand twenty. They were worried about being politically correct or having to use certain terms or you know being filled with social justice alcohol middle never really relied on that we know it just was it had its own personality it worked. The raiders ran with it and it worked. Obviously i think the show kinda does get worse and worse to a degree routes. Like this show sucks. It's more like it's not want so fun personally. I noticed this decline around season five or season six only roxy survive in some good episodes but season five was when malcolm became a lot organ. Egotistic was more really really are delight and it's the same can be said for season six which is a lot like the raiders realized francis was probably less relevant to the story main story so they wrote him out of course obviously with nasa her mission and all that but i think definitely the show definitely suffered because of the fact that it was kind of becoming a lot more tiresome to watch the characters really exactly becoming any better. Obviously there were some episodes. Put out the characters tackling getting better overall and i definitely think mouth Season two seasons one through four and season set. Obviously being the file season definitely had to be good and it was. It maintained a consistent level of writing. That was still funny. Malcolm getting older obviously work in having do we of fill in those shoes and knock madden season. One was really nice to see an even had much. Funnier moments. resetting was also well developed in a way you could tell us becoming more software zones social boundaries and meditations of course she's Truly were malcolm in. The remarkable of humor was on top of its game ever seen. You could find something good about refined search laugh about malcolm little was at its peak in this time. Unlike is talk of the show for so long. Now it wouldn't get for me. I ask for you know for me. And i think malcolm in the middle road mean steppingstone for tv sitcoms. The two thousands.

malcolm wilkerson francis Malcolm wilkerson frankie muniz christopher masterson winson linwood boomer reese wilkerson jamie kherson reese malka Sossio malcolm Frankie muniz justin henry kremer kevin mcallister dewey Malcolm stevie Rookie ward Roseanne
Episode #548 - Dykelganger - Dan Soder, Shane Gillis, & Kim Congdon

Legion of Skanks Podcast

1:46:17 hr | 4 months ago

Episode #548 - Dykelganger - Dan Soder, Shane Gillis, & Kim Congdon

"Mark zuckerberg told the new yorker. The new source he definitely follows is tech name so listen to the tech. Neem ride home. Podcast the podcast anyone. Who's anyone in. Silicon valley listens to every day in just fifteen to twenty minutes. You get a rundown of what happened. In the world of tech with all the headlines context commentaries and tweets from all the biggest players new episodes every day at five pm eastern. Search your favorite podcast app for ride home and subscribe to the tech meam ride home. Podcast up did you. Don't that work apart from that. Point point cut it. Take your policy till today on bobby. I can't hear myself there i am. It is the legion of skaggs podcasts. Everybody we're coming to you. Live from the stand in union square new york. I'm big joe kherson. We are down one scan today but we do have david smith. What's up everybody new york city. I say officially. And i mean this is in the last three four days. New york city is back. Yes it is a regular place again. About fifty percent of you faggots. Have the balls to show your faces at side. I'm sorry too early on but seriously it's like you see it all over the place here on the streets. And they finally have their fucking masks up. And they kinda look like they just came out of like a bomb shelter and our grandma. Does this make me a nazi. We're all still. We're all days and confused for sure. David that's fucking by the way you you talk now very politics. I like it. Just i go. David smith and you go new york very finger. Talkie do your. I've seen in four days. New york hear me i am making. I'm making the slowest transition ever. I speak like a politician. But i still through a fact. Yeah i was. We'll say through it fan on the flying mean people the f. word i mean our guest dan lewis j gomez is out in las vegas doing las vegas stuff with las vegas people. Shanley guess what. Just booked to fight with logan paul. Finally he wishes finally he does wish man those pay days. Yeah we all wish. Yeah baby james's harvard monte. Loser's gonna get who's going to get beat up by jason ellis and then be able to buy shoe. Oh man when his son has to become his nurse so young we know in loses power. Pack this show so we made no mistake of doing that today. Everybody cool amazing hilarious to guests. I from the broad topics podcasts. Right here on the gas national network to i got lost in the intro. The broad topics podcast right here on the gas that you'll never get. It is hilarious in lovely. Kimberly kong and everybody kim former former mrs louis j former mrs. The ex wife is back in the house when the castle sniffing around get the fuck and what did he do to the backyard. This when i let you know when you love them from billions on showtime but don't you say maybe everybody you know. I work husband from the bonfire we want. It is hilarious. Dan soder intros. Got off jason trolls like he got caught cheating immediately. Like our friends talked a little thing. You guys don't know about j. He had a brain injury. Eight years ago jay blackouts and then recovers through all of his bets. Sure no idea how it started. It would always finds the ending wrong about this so we got so excited today. When we found that kim was going to be the The other host joining us me and dance to me immediately goes we have to ask her. What lewis's love making his like when he's not there and it's all been able to think about said it. I'm like oh man. We're gonna wanna find it as weird noises. She asked for felt like she's right at the place to be real honest about it past that it's like what were the moans. Like moans go talker. Is he a nonstop talker. Wonderful popcorn ready to pop off. I like it to you. I do you like me like he. Does he take angry. Phone calls with bobby still calls martin. You're doing that. keep doing that. Martin born why did that podcast card. Let you guys. I blocked it all out. Nothing left fucking fuck moans. you know. honestly it's hard to remember you know when you like. Have you ever thought about someone that you know really well and you are like. I can't even remember what they look like right now. Sort of friend. Barbara just died. I wanna bartlett like old short hair. Is there ever like a smell or song that triggers your memory of this lewis on top giving you work fucking fucking foreigner. His arm and he hurt us. You hear a argument about to get a violent and abode egg and it makes you wet. She goes this. Cabbie's kinda giving me some fucking getting hall cagey funny because to back st louis in the world so it is weird when someone floating around the world makes you realize the world's very small but also that just like you've said things throws a passion to each the promises you've made fully iraq back to get away get away with you forever. You're the kind of person. I could see myself really fall in love with by the way i always promises in lewis voice. Do you remember any about to come promises you've ever made throughout your life. I don't know. But i just love the idea. If if you ever fuck someone you're supposed to either stay with them for the rest of your life or never see them again. Yeah like that's the play over to people who have fucked just seeing each other when they're not anything anymore. You no after you. The ones that i have vecchione said to me once i remember the vecchione fucking over a decade ago. I think he broke up with his check. I was little. I was always a few. I don't even remember which one this was. But he was just furious about the thing and he was talking to me and he goes. She's like yeah. She came over today like pick up some of her stuff. And you just have to have this conversation post breakup. And she's like okay. We'll like how are things he's like. How things we used to come on each other but how are things this way center. The lady that vecchione fucked where it sounded like terminators fighting in the other room that listen i have a vecchione fucking story to the. Yeah the dude fox. Like a god. I heard heard louis at the time. I was your i heard. Whoever sure made it. Sound that i becky on story. He fucks like dodd. Let me go. don't worry about anything. I you heard him from your house fucking on the crew. Hold me into jealousy. Though when i thought you. I know i know exactly what is on the cruise ship. They anyone that was on vecchionne's floor he hooked up on one of those cruise ships but they said santa the fucking fighting commando they went to. It was crazy. Yeah i sound like tekken streetfighter but there's lot gymnastic toss moves vecchione. Seems like he passes and quads before he thought he goes. We go you. Can't you can hear this chick on different levels of the air down like how she moving like copter. There's a major problem with the boat as siegel's sa- circling around. He thought this girl so often. I was like i'm we can't be done here. We have to have sex. I can't just. You're just listening to some girl come. That's not me. Say the funniest thing we were saying before about like a promises you make when you come not promises. I have been talked to and been talking during sex where the talking makes me come and then you have to get that last week. No this last sentence you fuck you in the ass and they go. Yeah and you go. You just get next time it's time it's a buzzer beater nut if you can hit it before the The maybe nobody rushing it out and you say goes. Where do you want me to come. And they go on my tits. You hit so it's too late. It was on the rug. You wasted a come on the tits if the rug succession rate of saying where you're gonna come to actually coming on it. Got to be very little nailed it when of cloudy it's a center shooting free throws when you're blowing up a pool toy and you have to plug it up you losing a little. I think my pretty good. Because i have learned now at my age to get over the body part. You're trying to hit and not try to fire towards it now. Sometimes you get lucky and you're trying to drip on a typical hit a face and no one can get ready for that. What are we gonna get mad at that. I was aiming honestly for the tits and fucking amazement happen. That's an incredible collection. Doesn't fucking bruce. Lee advice water. You a punch you already got to see your hand through the come. Goes visualize where he wants to come and then come over it. Jada enjoy put so much hand on it. Let those bong. I thought you're just sucking dick weakness should know. That's that's jay's banke. Does he just do this to comfort himself. Yeah this is instead of having like as a giant is my new friend. Christine left town for a couple of weeks in your friends. Call christina california. Where is it. He's freaking out whereas it we left it on the plane. Mail it to a hotel manager of the restaurant. Is there a carb on this things that dick so that there you go all the load not supposed to exhale like that when you get a free meal facial things. i've never. This isn't pride month. That's not pride month later. We don't have a pussy. Bonds are now you can have the dick. I'll take the later. Dick gephardt hunting tickets real hard. You never stop appreciating no matter how long we've done live shows. There's someone just like walk into the bathroom upstairs coming from a standup show. And then just that a suck that dick chant broke out. I like you. Someone is a swingers club. Someone someone up. There's gotta be like look. There is chatting white power so you came out a pretty good chance. Came on a hot sexy man. Came here thinking this with a swingers party. Be disappointed. I mean party. We do have a wooden cop though the peace to so i went downstairs. They said downstairs of a strip club. I was at once. They said it's a swingers thing. So i was with my ex wife and we went down there and observe. We had tony a nice fresh dinner roll with a pat of butter and we watched of the women. We watch we watch the plant. We watched the black cutoff keeps up. A black couple. Kept starting the fuck but there was a naked butt. Naked white guy chubby guy. Who paid to get in. I guess and like by himself and every time they would start fucking on the black couple he would squat down a catcher and just start flipping dick around and then the blackout will come on man. What you doing like be respectful. He's like sorry sorry back away and then they'd start fucking around again. He would inch closer and his squad star tug good taffy talk edging rape no. It was like he came the jerk. Off the couple's fucking. I guess that was his swing club idea. Do stripping heard weird parties. A club is a weird. Why don't you fucking have a little bit of sympathy for the guy who just want to jerk off to two other. People fucking doesn't have internet access to that you can get you think you can get with a black dudes and jerk off behind him while he's fucking that you don't know anything about black people man. Watch documentary song geisha would. He bought that ticket though he was probably just like boy. Oh boy oh boy got naked us. Who's going at it. But he the black couple come in and he was like he was the weird combo chubby hairless guy and real mere cat. He was fat but it was all tight. Is this a real place was it was it was i. Don't think exist anymore. I don't know do the strip went down but it was a strip club that was like blocks from my house in queens when you were getting the rigour tony could you hear people fucking. Nobody was fucking. Here's what happened. The strippers would come down. It was like their break room. Almost they would come down to. They were kind of laughing at the whole concept. There was nobody there except me and my ex wife eating rid tony. I'm so confused at why they have rigging tony nice buffet. They stir it and nobody knows they're fucking in the back same sound was it the strippers like when they come downstairs. The watch was like in like basketball games with little kids. Run on the court and shoot during in between quarters. Is that like pool game where you have to put four quarters on the table and go next what they do. Is they come downstairs. And they can't wait to judge people they find to be shittier them in there because they're fucking in a public place. They came down just made fun of the people what it seems to me. We overheard because we were by the rugged. Tony bar you see. How did you leave. did you leave. It was an open when we left full and we left a little carb heavy. If i'm being completely honest gas out. Here i'm taking a real place. We're pleased to bread. Yup when you're supposed to be kind of naked fucking honestly dip out. We watched that guy get yelled at by the black dude three times and then we we split. Did he split not before us now. Man i can't learn in for say when we were probably wanting saving his life or or maybe the black guy didn't want other people to know he was into that so when we left us sorry about that make it in here kissing me on the mouth. One come back. I'd taffy over here. You saw them people over there. Rigi tony in some weird shit. Wanna ruin their rigatoni but it was a yeah. The swingers party is an odd. We're not as party the swingers club. You didn't really go to a swingers club. You went to dinner. Show essentially swinging the medieval medieval times of swingers. That degree i understand. Law the checker dp soda. Wench soda Here's what i'm saying. I get the concept of swingers party. Going to somebody's house who were still weird. Obviously but i get it more than going to a place that's got a dj disco lights and chairs and people that's weird viewer more in the arena the coliseum for sure but why would you fuck why would you wanna fuck naked on a couch. That's been that's been done by a bunch of other strange. That's probably the same thing as the person's house no someone's house. They protect it. Better probably type of people who hosts swing parties. Also fucking hiring a maid service out to tell you what i'll tell you what i probably our business. We ever swing at my place. Dan you're over quite a bit. We're putting some slip covers over those couches at least getting steam cleaner so funny to think. Oh actually i got a letter cash now. Do it's like having rain on your car and rolls off. Honestly tilak he leave it on for a few days you could just scratch it off peeling glue off your hand in elementary school. Go can i come over to your house and peeled off your couch fingerprints in it. That's all right. Who toss this load all right guys. Let's take a quick moment and thank our sponsor for today's show which really is a great news are let's be honest. We enjoy a lot of dark humor here. People who enjoy a lot of dark humor. we're all psychos. Sure and you can know you could use some help. I know a lot of you. You're listening right now. I'm thinking i don't really need any help. You need it the most so go to better help. Okay that's better. He actually says. I swear to god this is they know our audience every does go better help. Make sure to spell out. H. e. l. Pay that is held in front of me. They're like we know who we're talking to here. Tell them hillbillies had a spell. Help you got a lot of listeners. Who are going to be looking better. Hope and they get home so but look in all seriousness. If there is something in a problem in your life that you need help with something in the way you're having forget how teams here now. It's true and even before that just in general like i know. I've benefited from therapy. And you have to. And it's a you know we fuck around but go. This is an easy way to do it. It's an affordable way to do it. Whatever you're dealing with better help has a wide range of counselors available for you. Plus better help is more affordable than traditional online counseling. Financial aid is available. And it's really easy to get started. Once you sign up better help will match you with your own licensed professional therapists. Who will be able to communicate with an under forty eight hours. I know man. The tone changed in here crisis line. It's able you can send a message to your counselor anytime. You'll get timely thoughtful responses schedule. Weekly video or phone sessions. It's the perfect way to do therapy during these shitty times so go to better help dot com slash l. a. west to join the over. One million people have taken charge of their mental health with helping experienced professional new testimonials from user posted daily. So go to help dot com slash l. o. s. That's better here. it goes again. H e l p better h e l p dot com slash l. s. Got it dumb dumbs to get ten percent off your first month one more time. That's better help dot com slash l. o. s. for ten percent off your first month. All right let's get back into it. bobby we have the rundown of stuff coming at all because we have a. We have a lot of fun topics to get to tonight Thank you paul. Bobby broke my headphones. I'm sorry now. I just popped them out of the socket and it's a weird angle you get under the table and you can get other table. You pride month. Tom the circus. Oh yeah oh yeah because we have so many fun activities planned here for when lewis isn't here we go from everyone having printed out notes to someone scribbling down on trying to get them all fired. Are you trying to get fired trying to get someone just printed that. That's how scared they are to lose your loose. We'll do it all right here. i'm sorry. Thank god lewis scares the shit out of these people. Oh remember bobby hutcherson when we were in austin texas bobby that drop. What do you play. Whenever i talk about you dammit. Oh blue gay mike. What's all touch. Thank you buddy. The headphones bluetooth. Nothing power move. Y'all good now. Yeah you're gonna want to hear this because you're able to find these bobby no problem the top fives and you have them in. No particular order correct. We probably need pens for this. Also if you don't mind but I have a toby to get the top five for gay pride month. This gay pride month. I wanna see how in tune we are with the gay community. I told him to pick the top five in that. Haven't ordered like the number one selling two through five k. Selling gay male porn stars and the top five butch female point yes a source. You're not to pick them. No no they're going to show this them in no particular order and we have to rank them. We have two guests the rank going to guess. Who's the best thing. That's much more doable. Game than what i had is there enough. What was that aimed name. Team the top five cambone. Everybody's spit it out of me. Like i was in bone in my top film. A crack in No no i wouldn't be able to guess these at all. I don't think on either of these but answer there's an actual answer correct bobby. There's an actual answer. We're supposed to discuss. And say. Which is i think we should do. So we do the dudes i or the bush porn stars. This is this is like a legitimate effort for for pride month. Just try to understand the community. This is what they want. I wouldn't mind starting with some butch lesbian. See what kind of clam slamming. you're right. They probably find this dairy helpful. We might we might learn something we might get it wrong. But then we'll leave knowing a little bit more about the in the gs and maybe next year. We'll get to the rest of that. Goofy alphabet and and bobby we. We have a clip of everybody's work. Okay and their names on the thing so we could do it on the back of our of our little sheets. That amber alert. Let me tell you something. I every time. I get an alert i go to and it just fucking shuts off and i never get to see what happened the always going off all day. I've been trying to figure out who's missing by the way. Just as amber alert go to amber ny talk for more information like you're sitting on a mission to find. This burst doing that. i think. What am i fucking. Chaz bronson find a girl finder pick go getter. I open it and it pulls up my instagram. What's going on doesn't take you right to. Oh doesn't it first thing you do. When you're in the amber alert it's like that and then you click the sound to make it stop because it's so frantic and then it goes away and you can open up or you don't care about whatever whatever i don't care about you then it's crazy. What are we doing. So do you not understand. Get it going to be shown on my explain to you again. I get fucked face so we're going to be showing pictures of some both. Probably the work of my guess would be okay and we have to rank who we think is the best one through five and we have to top grossing. We're going most artists. And how do we. What are we talking ceo. Hang on well. How do we know our judging is one through five because like if it was regular porn star consensus. You're going to know when you see them. Are we looking at camera. Bobby stand out five search. Okay logan paul's probably the most searched boxer doesn't make them the best. You know what. I mean like this guy might just be like generating internet your own opinions on their work day. We're gonna see here. There most searched but like for for the males office baby. But still again you know. I'm saying jake. Paul's made a lot more money than sugar. Ray leonard ever made probably a top five game points. You heard it here on a fucking every was. That's the thing about the paul brothers. No one's talking about is now. It's clearly makes you a lot of money to fight them. So just everyone's gonna wanna fight them or do not going to let those pretty fuckers just dropped my fat ass. I will have other sexy young girlfriends. Laugh at me. Mckean's i will get up weird walk i got. I got canvas rash on my side. Tit fucked and milk checkpoint fighting you ten mil j Ten million ten to fight now can meet them the lower level guy. You're like. I fought jake paul for fifty k. State forty million wrestling. can i wrestle. Whoever gets to the other one's digging their mouth. I i'll do that win or lose win or lose you win. I mean of course. That's way better i lost. Was it bad dick in my mouth. Was it bad. Yes did you watch that you watch the fight. Yeah what a waste of money. And invoking why it was. A play back ended up seeing like highlights. Shit it was. I got three card. Mayweather fight melbourne on they. They didn't have judges right. No but i mean maybe there was a fucking swing fly whole it was a stupid stupid. His thing. no heat floyd mayweather kinda won me over with his post fight. Press conference that he does is a little better than i thought it would be. Like what would you say that this damages your legacy and that you lost the him and he goes i retired. I don't train. I don't care and i got twenty million dollars to do that. You're like what are you guys talking about like sir. You are smarter than all of us. What ruins earn go. Well i mean. I thought he would knock out on the second and then blah blah. And he's just like i don't know i'm fucking around. I beat all the best people and now they were parking around. And that's why it was a really shitty event. Oh yeah it was awful. No i'm saying she got knocked down. I've never seen him hug. Aman more in my life after he got knocked down by them. I didn't see. And then the guy who knocked down chatto cinco training fighting for three months of his life and saying it which is a bucket list thing from the try the guy who beat them all mike and goes you see me now. You have now world up at went to distance with chad joe. Cinco said after the fight man. I don't know how to fight. But these guys i don't know man. It's like i. If i were home i would have ordered it. Just g wasn't this motherfucker was oh in one. And then his floyd mayweather you went from owen one to the best ever from to own one. But it's just still like have you not respect. What that motherfucker and went the way. Respect what he. That's what i'm saying. He is was looking there and saying like us. Why does it just pay fifty dollars for one of my youtube videos. It was nothing it was worthless but he did win me over more than his brother. Still william paul mayweather was trying to come up points inc. Yeah there were points. I mean i think he hit him at one point and i saw that one clip. He hit him in. May whether you could tell us pissed off. And he was like okay. I'm gonna fuck this but mayweather also like i'm fucking forty eight and tiny and don't have knock out power when the guy goes can do these angry. Avoid your punches james. I felt duped. Because i really believed all the fucking jake. Paul w i got your hat and running off and then the big mainly breaking it was all wrestling dude much if these guys hate each other like now. There was a complete organized thing. They probably par honest question. Did you think the undertaker really died. When burned his casket stop watching that. They did dave proven over and over. The undertaker is another guy. Probably died at fifty. Because he's two regular dude now getting back at all before that you see is instagram. And he took the truck out today. And you're like thanks undertaker. The demons the demons are all around us and Worship the hoary underworld but also rest in peace all right. I just got find the best deal on sardines. Costco nonsense tweets hates. Monday's people. I look up to tweet about chores. Bums me. I used to always say marilyn. Manson should die thirty-three and it turns out he should've because now he's just a fat criminal he's not even a fat get washed up singer anymore and areas look at all. Those wears a lot of bright colors. This is enjoying you know. Enjoyed his life national park today on the rocks hanging out with jack daniels do would it be funny. Went back and it was like fucking christopher columbus. Try to rip it down the deadman's here to guard. I dare you to walk up to rip danta fucking statue into flames. Go up around. Should try to move you. Just go this country you mom you know that rumor. That columbus fucked manatee. Yes oh yes. Yeah that he just fucking. He's number four. Christopher columbus coachee said they look like women. Verbiage fucking thought it was a mermaid. He's just like you berbie charter to shit shit. Shit here for the fun stuff bowl bull able everybody joining the show. Mattachine secret podcast. And they hit series. Gillian caves on everybody. It's hilarious chain. Gail cox for saying yes. Three two three cox one for good law going on. That's all right. This is the speaking stick. You can only speak withholding it loose gone for ten minutes in this thing goes to gay so pride month. Lewis was down in wherever he's at kissing zach on the mouth. I think so when you one more piece of paper for shane you came right in time for great game. We're playing for pride month. Two rounds of this. I don't know it's actually really great. You came now because we would have had to start over and get his. Yeah all together. We don't wanna walk in late on this show hot action so we are gonna show. We're going to show the top five butch female porn stars in no particular order and then after that the top five gay male porn stars no particular order and we are going to say and give our opinions as to why we believe the top five should be. Ncaa that it lines up with the actual. I'm giving you the top five of who i would like to have sex with north definitely. Yes you're judging by all you can if you want to give this for the dudes and then ladies who's old further ladies so you could separate. Let's just tell us who you box office for. The box office is gets daniel. So we're going to start with the women's ranking them best one through five who you think is the most the idea is we're trying to understand if we communicate so you want to understand who they think is the best. Buck aimed aren't start all right. That's already. That's the bo jackson you can. That's trans dude. There's no month for that yet. This gay pride month. Roll the clip. Piggy bean face. Does that matter. I gotta be honest with you. I thought it was a dude. Even after i saw the pussy thought it was me. I i looked at the posey. Such a beefy. Young young pissed off dan. All these guys wanna smoke pot. I'm on behalf the moms garage taken the right hand. I think it's a dildo tattoo of a dick now. It's the old polly pocket bandage. Yeah no you always wears by asa and pussy like started used to chase. Elliot's cheeks please. Peggy beat an action k. Pig align when he talked to you what peggy be really shaped up at the video way too fucking fifth element me killing me. Yeah the lights are lights are bruh dong on her. Should i'll put sunglasses on like a poker game. Is this the bunch ones. Yeah it was little than i thought the same one we just saw. And what's not just in the bathroom at all like today. This is the whole video. That's good bobby. Current wasn't even that one that was called bathroom floor. Peggy croutons no piggy bank south when the lineup has voice gang fest. Hegi dean buried me on zach. Amigo a netflix special. After that shit. I'll tell you what. She's a new booker. Afl i'll tell you what would pay for my pale face. He's not picking up. I've been outside feeling plug peggy bean. Yeah i would also feeling that peggy is going to be last. I wrote peggy. Because i thought piggy to is it would be picky picky picky bean the nickname the nicknames. Piggy piggy bean. I think it's going to be. He's gonna be last because it was pretty girly joy to work covering it. Just it's not. What i'm guessing does a big thing for the lesbian scene. Now i'm i'm shocked. You may top five to be honest. But sean putting to the lower half of the top. Two i don't. She's not she doesn't have that lesbian star quality like she could be a good starter. Butch you know bush you are trying to sink into a short haircut just short hair that there was nothing like off. No sony makes good. She's a gateway dykes. Yes okay fair enough. That's why got her through fair enough guitar. Whole effort of this is to understand their community. Shane she's not wearing underwear yet that she still wearing like sexy girls. Mel kiper juniors. Okay i got next at arizona. State runs a five three four. She worked at our talk. Welcome to the head how we've got a contender for the top of the division. Here we go here. We got old goldberg. She looks like dana white's about to come give both of them talk about goofing off in the house. Dyke's what's sucker sticking. What's this maori warriors. Name i gotta tell you. I like it. S y d- said that's an awesome name. I didn't i think we'll just call her. Said yes it's fine. Sid vicious mean sitter me right now i just found i just got my rainbow. I just fair. My book ends here of score. Thought fucking piggies five. Sid probably up their number. It is a citizen. Dr one or two odd man hips. She looks like the meanest eighth grade. Boy yeah no shit fan now. That's a girl could pick on you. Who sued or what do you smell. Cheerios again. How about you. Because i love even she has she has pussies lines had serious. 'cause i was wondering for the bus cheetos airforce commercial. I can't let you hold my walkman. You wanna fly in the sky. We'll guess what you're a woman you can't you're gonna be working. Don't we've commercial mess hall. Let's see sids work that they do porn. This is a whole different thing. Okay yeah the tide really turns at the second half okay. I think she looks nice. Just saw that's how it what it said. Some morosi wouldn't have you had some preconceived notions freakshow heroes boy to shoot up me on a bomb already. Shut up. you did that bullying. But i do feel the other end of that was like yeah. Let me let me hold you ball real quick. I can give it back. Fat boy. No. you're not giving it back. I know you're not gonna give you right away on my cousins bike. i'm going to be a big trump. Why you just want to see my bike. Why do you wanna see me. Just hold that bike when you when you get like bowling would happen to you. They would try to do it as lazy as possible. I like i don't really they don't really wanna fight you. They want to see if you give them your thing. I've done this this. You've taken the by. I take things i've wanted. Frank shane in the wild. Just take subway seats from people. Oh yeah gardini. The guy produce our show got in my car the other day cliff bar. Give me a cookbook open. You're driving for a while. And he was like all clipboards. Let me see that. She hated the place. I'm not giving you my cliff. Know i i live also hook dude. What's he stood his granted. You really want no probably would've thrown it out the window man. You really worthy the bully where he just stood up to you and you go. I'll never ask for his cliff. Never asset you move on easier targets. You learned your lesson always to cook for yourself. And that's what i'm gonna do to sit blockage the pushing this it now again. We'll sponge strict media once once they start working man. I see all the feminine all over. It's just hot. Chicks with buzzes. Hey it's basically space babes. You're just fighting the to what's up. Space babes shout off. Good losing a sixteen and a fast and furious. Movie firmly tokyo drift. By the way. I gotta tell you. I can't believe or nine fast and furious movies in and they're still have the balls to say some in the in the trailer like so. You're not gonna catch me little brother. No one knew each brother for nine other movies. There's a character is not only the little brother but somehow can be involved in a major way at some point but it hasn't even been mentioned before that. I never mentioned my little brother for nine. Fbi special agent. Who looks for people who drive went missing. If there's one thing. I look for in the twelfth fast and furious it's continuity. Yeah what about the one where he goes. You didn't know my second runs to has probably goes talk about it all the time. Yeah they just go back to work there. Also you can't stop me from doing. Do food cousin they also are heist car people so they all have shitty families so that makes sense. They don't know they're in the fucking tokyo drift. Shit it's usually not a result of father. No your if your family's drinking coronas with fucking kits on it back to back. That was sensual. More than i don't know if you're looking for butch are you looking for sensual again. I don't understand the rankings. The person that was like reading that book we are like what about you guys. You're fucking pushing. You're hetero normative world view on everyone else. Okay these are we're looking at. What are objectively the top. Five lesbian porn star really. You're trying to understand why they and who they put them up there. But you could say oh. These girls don't belong here. They earned it more. Bushy like were gonna shelvin mucking. Mgd bottles of bowling like bowling pins. Shit i hate lesbos. -tarian dave smith killing facts and logic. All right okay. Who's next butch porn star top house this much. We're just let's go sign shaved heads wearing black what it is. I think it's the same girls from the regular porn videos. Just getting half of buzz-cut. No these are legit. Lesbian porn stars fem dom wrestling. You're gonna you're gonna run into big heavyweights go. You wanna go to pittsburgh. Don't dot com. Also we're going to get more midwest fucking fistful for shady yell out of name where he goes buzzsaw jank up. Call her the much box scouts. The wood chipper all of their favorite movie. Characters was icebox. What's her name. Lana to lara in the middle. What was the the first ones again. Piggy piggy piggy beans. sid block. A bitch pig pig all right number four. Here's a work. Oh yeah alarms footage feels like truckstop. Fun yeah i was gonna say this looks like people you might know this is filmed in florida. Yeah for sure. Do i already know that townhouses pool doesn't work. I hate to say it. But i think this is a huge dorothy sucker boob little this. Your mother's sister asked me to bring my camera over sucker boobs faster so this is my most zil here. My mother's talks eight. This comes out all right. That's a lot of attention to the to me. So i got this one. Move straight suck. She's just move right. They're not to grab all you can with titties as silly shit. God bless you taken out of the moment right there so weird thing hammers getting your tits girls face face on earth does that you squeeze ted's and play with them. They like slightly pleased. They watch you sucker tastes all. How's that it. Is you know it is weird. There's a moment where. I'll be watching them like. I think i'm in charge here. Someone's sucking your to shout out an order next time you just move your leg. That's when i ordered dinner talking. Big red machine. I'll tell you i'll tell you what she is. She's she's vader bomb. Tell you who she is. She's a problem on third and one. She's she's stuff that yardage bat s someone's mom a bunch of people if i'm judging anymore. Yes probably gave them a four films. Get my kids back from social services in regards to. It's an unboxing. Boxing video actually gonna return that. So we're going. Keep it in the package. i'm looking at dildo. Yelstin looking tell you this is the most action we've seen and that's why she's she's number one on mine. Okay just. Let's see block of the most aggressive. Like what i know. I gotta keep in mind guys guys. My daughter's texting utah. Daddy's at work terribly wrong uncle. Dan is having fun again. Dan yeah fuck dude on cock joint dumb to get away from me. Does your joint head fuck in clay veins killing do i. Can i call your joint. That that's about right. I mean rate. That's fair that's fair thicky. Just nice little. Enter to damn him just moved into number four guys. Can we fast forward to the dude on dude to make us feel better. We're getting there For that one. Take her boehner's down. Keep in mind guys that we know as we're learning more about the lesbian community that that weird awkward mess is top five most result lawrence. It's like one of them. The big red machine wasn't the one. No i thought it was big. Red machine was it. It was the one. I was getting your tits. The wrong sucker. I i knew that going in. And then i just got hypnotized by the big red machine. I'm really getting my tits sucked a strong. What's your special song. Is that a hot tub time machine. Because i'm really great again head. I'm not you're not getting it now. Why are you screamer you score. You tickle tickle talk. Do next bobby nikki. I'll tell you. Now i feel like she's going to be huge with like a younger. Justin bieber demographic. Sure i think she looks. She looks she's also just looks like she's very google nikki. Bobby nikki heart. She got that flashlight money behind or two. Oh yeah look at that. That's a fucking mercedes sponsor. Okay now. she's not so much for lesbian porn star. But you know she's pretty. Let's see your work. There we go. I don't think i like the goth lighting. Well she the giver there. Okay there's yes. She's got boy face. The outsiders i'm into this one. This one looks good. Yeah this is nice. There we go. This is the action you came four. Wow this is my number one. Change my mind on this is tyson knocked out power. She's just hammered. That but with that fake weiner. Who's a short chang tank genius. Who said fucking strap on dildo underwear instead of. It's it's so weird that they're almost trying to fool you into thinking. This is a dude right. I don't can't lesbians if you get them yet. Maybe ristorante let me explain it to you in two words diet coke the best thing for pride month also showing off the apartment. Yeah look at the acoustic guitar. They probably they probably ripped. Melissa ethridge on it. Hold on go back to that. Tattoo me on our fucking arm. He's a dog. Look now the way. It was posed like me. It's on the inside there. It is that's around here very very lesbian. Don't say his name martin toler holy. That's perfect mickey. Hart brings a heat. We have our last our final at least no particular order. Mickey hart's just put out one. Hell the thing. So much. That i thought the weiner was real. I'm forming a pretty big. I already got it. I'm pretty sure. I throw it off. But i'm pretty sure i got my order. So far bobby here. we go. Whose idea was all right yours. Jay this was your idea Solid one thank you. This is why buck angel pinky angel as a very young and attractive name for whatever. These two messes are you. Stop it there. You jason stop it. These women were put a hurting on the bottom tag team. You lose burs them. Ehrenberg backwards like my uncle mark. Mark i bird okay. Thank you angel. Fuck right there again. That same one. No not pink pink kinky pinky okay. I think he's got the body of most male truckers me again which one you sir sensing having trouble getting head it celebrating. Let you believe that nuts on timing seriously. You're so gay right now. That's shane or a deepfake. She's christ slack. Y'all do the select your sideways. Even say shane. Put your arms out to the side of the really changed here. Let see your tattoos true. Shane i'm very confident that this is not actually used it. Just put your arms private too so we know for sure. I don't care today. Let's csi the shape of the ear dead to rights. I just happened this fucking haircut. Got so much worse as she looks down. You saw opening licked. Cleans she cleaning. Your kitten is probably the number one i would say in the was as with specifically shah gillis's a fifth most popular lesbian and worst case scenario. Maybe we don't even know. remember five. Also shane is this like back to the future. You guys can't see each other die. This changes promoting his new sketch. This right this is the last one. Ehrenberg was on the last hour. What's out. we're doing lesbos. Those shane sketches are so funny but the last one is just getting his dot seton for like forty minutes. Lord michelson skewing lorne michaels. I really let genius go really ruined. I had him. I had him having his box eight now every saturday night. Right authorize everyone on the desk damn echoes on your puck maces. Honestly i feel like if i don't put her one change going to mad at me that's exactly my body that it might be too. Is there a scene of piggy and hanky panky and piggy. because that's the right angle could look like shannon. I really slamming plans. Oh yeah dude. You need deepfake. Well i'll tell you what you like. Getting hit he looks like you really hate it there for being honest to modest. You're pretty good at it degrade at a. Wow okay through everything through everything. That's number one. What was the name tegi. Pinky pinky pinky. It's just so. I'll remember saying the wonderful all right. All right i shoot dude block a bitch more like hanging down a peg bitch to slide everybody down a pay because all pinky clicks all right okay. All right that's one more race. Yeah there was a laura lomor who i'm sorry but snooze fest okay so who wants to go for because someone keep track here yeah allah dave so my ranking in it is the top. The biggest draw is number four. The when i said that justin bieber like picnicking heart. She's the number one yeah Because first off she had. This is kind of glamour. Shot like she's making a little bit of money and there's not that much money in lesbian porn let's get real and she also had a very professional thing and it just felt like she had that thing where she's like she's appealing to the millennial dyke demographic your guy or number two the second biggest one is said said brought talking heat in powerhouse and the lesbos love said also well shot very well shot yes. The first one's name that will piggy was the first one we watch in third place. I'm gonna put shame gillis over here. I came in piggy. Think he's hang on. News is not the first person to say shane. That's a shame third place. And i'll i'll be honest. I felt like we didn't really see his best work. He wasn't really doing anything. But i'm gonna put him in third fourth place. I'm going to put the laura. Laura you really were dead. Lay lesbian dude real princess. They call that down here and then this is what happens goofed on you aquitaine longtime ago the fifth. I'm gonna put piggy who i just. I don't think that was a real lesbian. The thing to me. I don't know there's my rank and i'll give him on. That's that's a solid. I don't know why i'm i'm surprised. By how much. I'm really hoping. I win. Really to nail this i get it i. I seen that far off from dave. Nikki mickey hart was give her a little fresh nikki. Real quick nikki. Hoping nicky real. Oh nikki's number one number one but to have a young shane. Gillis heaven there. Because i got to say if you're looking for butch lesbians that was the worst of the bunch shows like. When she leaves porn she goes on like sweeps up grade school at night or something Number three i had said because little over style. I has the look the real butch. Look i mean are real fucking wiffle. Ball grounder fucking look which she turned to so she comes in because of porn was over stylized. I think if you're looking for butch porn you wanna see some fucking somebody tied up. It looks like shane getting her box seat. That's how it goes or can't tell you what it is. You're making a mistake here. And i'm just going to say your mistake. Is your judge in the scene a little bit. Not the a little bit. You're right but he were pick. Here is the personal. I think to tallahassee of their work. I think is fuck all of our list this next one because four. I have a laura now are we. Were all focusing on that fucking suburban house. Mom she was fucking sick. That also might be the reason. She searched out a lot is because she's fucking. She's not unlike a hot. Yeah you're watching you're looking. You're saying you're a house. Mom you wanna see someone having sex with someone who represents you on cavaliers is. She was definitely fucking. Ron jeremy of girl that's i under so a lar- i haven't four but i'm starting to worry that she's going to be much higher on the list and five. I have piggy for same reasons. I thought she was just like forget ably feminine. Okay oh my god give back. Obviously one of you. Would it be if they go all right. Just a kid out of that thing went off earlier. During my set everybody had their phones locked ten phones released and no one can get to their phone ride out. Amber alerts started making jokes and they didn't. They didn't really say you got wrong. Place your ping. All your phones are locked. You know you got me like dark knight. You used all your phones to transmit where i was yes. They didn't like it. Back to the legit of skaggs lesbos top-five gonna tear through the gay top number. One is in this gator. Just got kidnapped would want us to continue. Yes he would do this for the love of the game for me. Number one was scheme encounter. Five dreamed of being used to being a butch lesbian porn star. Hurt church what. She hoped that one day she could be tied up and just have box pleasantly munched on the road to that right guys breaks bad that's happened it's just it's just crazy. Father taking her across the border because he hates them all the fun nineties road trip movie that this probably is a very immediate danger. Toyo- fully friend has said there's aliens they have to work for. I appreciate the night of comedian. Changes like that big laugh and he goes. I knew i'd hit some amber alert. Shit tonight the salary that goes back to the on snakes. One of my do an amber alert things is. The amber alert goes off ten years in the future. You go here we go. I knew the time we're every twenty. Dan both agree for the rest of your come onstage to the song forward forward. Dan cook the ballot that he made years ago. Pretty awesome mockery. Then cook now. That song saito guys all infighting because we haven't gone through the list yet. That's why for me. Is shane gillis. Oh number was member. What no nature. Shane was number one. He butch only butcher the butch. And if i want a butch lesbian. I want a butch lesbian. That looks like my friend that i know played off. Yeah i am pretty. I want a friend. I know can pass pro also pulling guard of a lesbian. Look at shane. Shane goes back seven steps to make tight throw with that guarding. Looks like when she yarns that. One looks like me with a wig to those. That's you that's interesting. that's that's you. That's lady islander. Well if you need her downtime. She'll be sanitized spraying roller skates. That are ranked somewhere and then on the weekends on that roller derby team just side putting wood chips on kids throat. I'm going to surprise people here with my number two and i'm going with sid. Okay bigger in the scene were given a credit bank prize december two. I think you're i think you're dead on almost. Look like she might be a contract la-z-boy and that's pretty cool. Contracts big number three nikki hearts because she's got the star appeal number four. I'm actually going with My lookalike piggy bean. Okay because i think yes. She's fem we can't have looked. And you put a laura less well so you don't have a laura less because it was happy might be. This might fuck. That is insane. We have almost the same list except for one. I have shane i saw. Yeah 'cause i got i. I mean i don't think you should have gone of. The category is daikin. It's dave smith. Let me explain something to dave smith. Dana carvey mike myers phil hartmann chris. Farley adam sandler dykes reiten people who could have worked on. Snl all those people chose by lorne. Michaels knows he's to gillis. That can have a look alike. That's the top wall red. Tim meadows julia. Sweeney said nicky. Yup but then. I'm going to laura and piggy just based off. I'm just going most iky to be in my personal opinion. I just think that we yeah. I could be wrong. Obviously isn't that what people it's going to be. What people see not like dike. Is dan guys you sir. How go to wnba lesbos. You can't always sit courtside. Nobody tickets dancing. Hell yeah liberty. Do we get a box shane. What is it number one. Okay okay. I want my ganger. Everybody has a game. I have a bunch. We all have flat fat faces. Yeah i definitely do. There's one out there number two is the real number. One was nikki. Okay sid laura then pig. I'm pretty close. It may just mean your first and second is switched. Besides that nikki was the one but among maybe let's see bobby should reveal from five star. Five oh idiot. We're guessing most googled nikki. That was five five. S last place i am. That's my pick. I got one. I got run down. Fuck you guys. i'm gonna kill you on the game boy on boy to really okay who's rating saw beefs. Okay so i have a chance to throw dammit. Hey ray okay all right through. I feel like something's about to shoot out. Oh my god guys shaved might be number one buck bomb bomb wrestling's on arrives. Mom my rask on my as my butthole still red. Do i still have that. She cut okay all right so i still have a chance to get through to. Yeah we were all so sad for sure number. One nikki got three. I got three hundred five. I think. I think i detail you'd think you gotta check. Well hold on. I put nikki. That's the justin bieber one at number one right. Yes i got number one number two. I had i had chain at three secret note. They gave me the results of who won. Are they hand it to you. Like i don't know number. One of us got him correct for go in the opposite direction go okay. Big reveals dan last-place zero correct. Wow good on on pride month. don't worry about it. We'll see him. Dude i'll see you at the gay. Didn't five for fog. You're gonna have to at this point. That's fine for third with one. Correct kim first place. I'd jason and david with to correct. There's none of crooked. I have three correct now. You have to crack. Jason jason bobby. I got nikki once. We've already heard the results. We're not going to relitigate this. All jiang gillis to no no no bobby at owe the with the judges right. That's three right about. How many get right dude. You know you're lesbians right. Dave was to. I will say this. Switch mine at the last second. So jamie tape. He did not we were ranking them on. Google did say number one would be nikki. I'll and also so. I i misunderstood. I rang them on guy. We understood too. I thought it was box office for the lesbians most search on so many different games. You didn't win it. J. one it and i'm in second. I'm just steve. Harvey in front of this entire room clearly did that. He did run. I hate saying that he did. Santini switch but does that immediately put. So you had you had you nikki and then you said yes. Nikko switched. Yeah that makes me get three correct. That makes me tied for second verse. I'd allow it 'cause he did say i said it. I do And getting any of this shit you put it that way. Then i'm against k. You're the judges was going to run some bits giving three. Hey guys real quick is talking about one of our amazing longtime sponsors over here at least courses blue. 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Eight months on our way to do that. I don't know it looks just like it's almost like decision you know. It looks like do you do porn. It looks it looks like now. I just go to my instagram. Don't worry businesses by the end of the game. This is just us eating the little coastal smell the coffee. Bean before we fucking get to the gay stuff on the podcast. Frank knows it where it's always saying. What if you see a dude since. Shane saw that looked like him dude. That looks like you. Would this make a dude who looks like me is not in the top. Five grossing male point. Oh yeah also. hey i am self. i'm stupid. No you're totally gay. Google mobile so fucking dumb big old bear. Whatever google you pig you bring that energy. I'm the only one that gets google. That's beginning of the search. You search you. That's the beginning of it. If you can find. I don't remember the rest. Would you search slut. Latina know slight lillard. Three that costs for cock suck to fire up the boys. Bobby all right. Let's like rocco's in number one hang towel from he goes he goes look like our friend rocco a little bit diego sands sans fucking skivvies reopen. Which what is he hot man. What the hell man. By the way he equal tit sucking from porn porn nepotism seeing nipple ring nip sucking real. Well good news for you. They moved on. Are you skip ahead. Checkpoint checking every second. He says hitting the ball. Hey dude all right. Twenty smoking some weed. Bobby bobby cut it off. You homo those borderline surgery video boy. That was gay porn. He got his face talking incredible. That was really good. Gay porn my guess. What can you save that history tab son of a bitch. That was really good. Game is their number. For this gay. Pride month i have learned. Lesbian porn and gay porn are different and should be treated as such february. Let's touch football. The colin wmba versus nba rating. How much off the screen man. That was really good. Gay porn i but it is but it's school if you watch the wnba and you didn't know the exists and you just you got used to the w. a. nba for a while and then they switched over the nba. And you like people can walk. These are grown shit. God i would say fuck. The that was us reacting to and one paul guy magician by way o'connor has had that joke the whole time. What that watching lesbian watching women he was like. I can't watch gay porn because it'll be like watching the nba. It'd be like dude watching do of course they're good. Their men athletic. We're still going to suck dick way better looks out. How old is that joke. Seven years. I remember seven years ago when i saw it and i said one day on the podcasts search cut his throat fucked diego sands kudos man later that night. He just did something else. I don't know diego. I know it's a weird question. But you know what i mean. Did his mind get often. He's a small wonder marathon. On teen nick or something. That was shit. I don't know if this guy gets automatic number one or if he's just set the tone arm fucking high bar was insane. Wow bobby our next test and please. This is what williams see william seed bill seed. Billy see hurting this guy's about this guy who's willing to put falls guy really. That's an illusion. I know that trick his bowls are so tainted dickerson. Yes built like ivan dragon is oblique killer and i'll tell you what somebody yeah fantastic nips. Total tiny little dots though on that fucking muscular chess. I bet this guy throws cup. We just watched carlos saying windmill cobian area every workout. I've ever had by the way. I have to do the equivalent of that with a rubber band that do sit ups or that him without the guy. You're saying all balls. Yeah that's him right there ever do fun like leg kicks. He's the guy Happy month everybody. You jump ahead into it jump ahead keep going get it. That it hit us with the slow mo. All you gotta get to yeah. Yeah and that's just a regular hotel. You almost feel saying beautiful. Stop this bobby. I gotta tell you something i gotta tell you sir tell you something that one let the emotional as the i know the first one piece so the first one is doing i i was at sundance crazy j. I thought this was a fun idea. Through the first event in the second event. I think this is why you came up with this idea. I just say butch bobby himself. It was weird. He can call me back and several anything. That's a good idea because it's a really good idea and also let's cut the butch mart. Yeah and i was like no no no i do walk in and just watch movies and they will episode for now like this is just what we need with louis. Probably get it on guests digital if you just all podcast about this because when do you want to take out of your. We can do this. Go bobby orr number three damn williams seed. Of course austin wolf. I'm not do. I like to cut it. This guy's gibb already penis. He does not have an exciting porn. Weiner let's got. I don't know the names are cooler on the day side. I thought it was dubbed. David off the lights is named william c william seed and they all sound like old presidents. Do you know that. He was actually assassinate. William c shoot ropes. And what's this. What's this fellow is. Who is he just. So we see the first of the fucking silver do that justin. What can i say throw by iro. Hold your breath dogs coming and go sit. All the dogs are making noise. Don't the dogs see. This is the worst there alpha. It's the worst exorcism. I've ever seen all right. Oh our the dude. No matter no matter how is to judge no matter how much you know on an intellectual level you just know that there are gay dudes in the world game. This is a thing but every time you see something like this. You're like really do it. Four sure actually actually really are like not just pretending to my gay friends. Sometimes they go home and do this crazy. I just talked to find out your friends or crimefighter. Is you go out at night and do this and then it goes to come over and watch a move here. Don't you get hurt. Emeco have gay sex beat out much but she have to get through to find home. You'd have to have a nineteen nine. Dick hurt his ass. I see i see why it's a sin. I saw this. It was like i'm writing that down. Sin now. I didn't know about this. I didn't know you fellas. We're up to this. Who did up there. Were up there. This is a big one up there with murder with how to destroy city for this. Your salt now shouldn't have done that. Bobby number four k d- a cates coming in top around drafting guard Robocop yeah posture. Because hard or soft on fucking your cade soft and his work and his all right. Is that the same guy from the last meeting. Yeah how many guys are willing to do this much. It sucks dude. He looks like bathtub from the nineties. Action movie really does distribute this drug throughout your town. Iron man's house ironman. Let me sleepover suck. That'd be a good pointing. Tony stalk check their butts you gotta line it up. I wanna miss holy lord. How how that looks like like straight sex if you pretend enough sorta and hook and pretend you're right and then you turn on. The volume is rule wrong direction. What's the score. William just sounds like male tennis you know out who's the last guy already top two. Yeah i got to do is. They're six five. Please wait no one more one more tan. Just wants and bobby. Would you directors what we're here already hanging won't you through six or seven or wrapping up cow about number. You guys wanted to twenty twenty. You don't just sweet sixteen this thing up sixty four ready to do some march madness. Thank you can. I have a beer. Police no body to your bobby number five to get the straightest bayer you have Hang out of here bobby. Wiz joey mill. Also can you give me a damn it. Can you give me a wet pussy. Logger damn to the wall man. My whole list just got fucking turned upside down. Fuck up that guy's number the are you kidding. This tweak with that fucking law cock outta here joey. Mills looks like the guy who came in third in the internal impacts. What's up kid dynamite. What holy batman and robin imagine being this kid's class in elementary school shower. Yeah you start picking on him longer and then you realize listening to my ear right now. Seventy percent of the kids who went to school with have lifted trucks do. I can't wait to see this queer in the shower backbreaker. You start video. Oh god is video. You can't fake much. Just has the number one. this is marty. This is to gay off michigan. Nothing worse than gay missionaries doesn't. That's truly what upsets god. The only thing as long as you look at each other's backs you know. I think we joke about god. Like tugay betty is very sees this author. How weird life hack is this a good onto. They're just like watching your hands. Many times hey. Hurricane it's all you can do to wipe sounds. Hey joey meals really changed at all chain line. Fresh air with that goes like almost crude. You guys are forgetting about diego's saying i didn't forget about anybody. I will never read about in order to much on here. okay. I got it all right here. We go a long time since i've taken test umber all right. I'll tell my scantron. You guys remind. Because i believe the last one from the other shame. Let's go number one that way. No don't go five. Five emails are fine. We all know. Joey mills built his skin. Feels like oh man. I bet slick punch going in that order. Because i didn't rank them. I just did arrows. Got straight as hell with this ranking. Yeah actually if you rank. These gay is this. We actually brought joey meals here to fuck us. Winner gets to fuck them. The air number two diego. How're ya and then after this. it's just. I don't even remember the rest. I've got my william william tweet. Comedy now seems pretty gay williams seed. Then you know what makes me worry that you are that. You're like over like william dude or whatever the fuck. I wasn't paying attention to you guys. I don't even remember their automate silence. I had pig seed laura me. You're not in this one on the last one. i'm saying i didn't name them either. So get your facts straight. You dumb pigs. Where was i number. Three fawning over williams. The hunk is number three for you number four. Cade shane's gay. I'm saying it right now. shames game. Yeah shame is not gay is a proud hate women. That's why he gets his box back video of him. Austin wolf number five. Okay kim i wish i was gay fucking eighties and their hair. Their crap kimberly. Coggan number five wolf. Yeah number four williams seed number three cade number two diego alright and number one joey mill jobs. I say me too. Oh wow that's pretty close. I don't know originating this game time decision. But i'm going do at number five all soon. Wolf ooh number four williams spill your seed number three k million over three kate greece and ready to go. Maddox and then. I'm going to shock the world and say big dick dolphin. Joey mills that number two and osei diego san number one call the throat king of fucking gametime call. Because here's the thing that. I just made a game time decision on a hammer. Mary let me say here. All right number five. Got william seed four austin wolf seasons shock three maddox. Now here's mark my words shock. Maddox seems like everything. A guy. be looking for a muscular gay porn star. But he's number three. Because to whom i original number one was diego san diego sanchez. Because he's he was the only one of these guys that was hairy on his body a little bit most money. it'd be. are you waking the most money gotten. Let me tell you about corley. Look diego santa you got the bod. You got the head of the production value important. Something he just said rosette top-grossing now looking at the quality of the action value. Now okay goes at a we changing. You know. i'm gonna go diego. One enjoy meals to might change change. Change you're going to be up all night if you change wrong. Here's what i'm doing now. Ready diego who okay. I should fake sands number one for me in this game cage maddux's to joey mills three. That's big boston. Wolf william seed this damn this high pressure you guys got jays all right. Joey mills all right. Yeah you know a number five the joe last but not last in the world last in top five still very respectable cade matt. What's his name matt. Mattox now not remember anybody's name. What's his face against even heading date like six years ago. Remember who seemingly. i'm crazy. I haven't seen him since. Its kissing videos so this is the first time i've seen a number four austin wolf three billy seed number two and i switch this game time. Joey mills i think he pulls he's the most for what guys who want that skinny dude. Big hog look. Go for. But i don't think that's david smith i call it. You know some of us have put work into that field. But i don't think that's the number one. The number one gay thing is the total package diego. Yeah he's the guy who they fucking go that's like he was also the guy that was fucking ass and chugging cock i mean listen he does it all. He could play both sides of the ball. Here he's clearly a two-way defender. Yeah get out of here. Yeah absolutely law. He's a great shooter. Loves pass bobby run off. How bad darkhorse shock. The world's number four. Oh then they are. Can i say. I disappointed with the homosexual community. Thought they wanted boy. That little boy body had fat dad. Dick head gets all those left dog do we. All we all understand gay people. Yeah it looks like you're right on a dry race board with it. Well so far one for to fuck is going on son of a bitch. If you tell me that fucking austin woman hey dude paid top to allston. Wolf was number one. What are we doing. Here is the results are in chicago. San diego sands go saying. It's the these results hilarious. None right okay. Everyone got none right except jay. Who got to the rest of us are so not. Gay guys understand business. You are the weakest. what are you saying. we do some plugs. And we'll get the fuck outta here shane. Gillis tell us what you got on by. I'm filming a special that that no one asked for july eighth ninth and tenth. We'll be filmed on the ninth and tenth of july at the creek in the cave in austin go. Say he's come austin kimberly. Yeah you guys can follow me on instagram at kim congdon and check out my podcast broad topics on the gas digital networker anywhere. You find podcasts Topix and check me out on twitch dot tv slash queen kong one. Hell yeah damn soda. Dance dot com. Got gigs coming up. Reuters bank Other places like sacramento. Listen to the bonfire when you're not listening. Spanks and advance odor by yes davie yes Next sunday I'm doing another show in brooklyn. Thanks everybody who came out yesterday doing another show at the the old man hustle room in brooklyn there and we just put those tickets. I and it's going to sell out soon. So if you grab them you wanna come. Go get them now and then on the nineteenth. i'm in norwalk connecticut. To shows up there and then free invest in july. Imagine that. I'm hosting the whole thing to that part of the problem. Libertas all that and of course go to louis of skanks. Chicken lewis dates is gonna punch stuff coming on the books. Big j comedy dot com for me. I'm this weekend in indianapolis coming soon to orlando florida albany. New york a whole bunch of shit coming up so check their dates of course the bonfire and was industy. Our show right here on the guest network and we should. We should say of course if you love the show and support what we do. Because we're obviously all gonna be completely cancelled everything there soon. Go subscribe to the network if you don't already if you use the promo code l. o. S. you get a monthly discount and that's the benefit shows. Yeah and that's the best way actually support us and you get the whole library and everything like that and skiing fast. I don't know sale on sale soon. July fourth july fourth. Everybody's getting tickets go on. It's gonna be fucking i'm excited. I'm really excited. It's going to be a whole bunch of kobe. Numbers keep dip but we will get them back up. We will get back to the masks. You fucking freaks. Thank you guys so much for hanging out and watching allegiance gangs. We'll catch you next time later. this week. Piece you've been listening to the legion games. Podcast with j. o. Kherson release yard up on it of a shepherd of shitheads realis- gomez talker Louis j gonna a break your fucking jaw. I want to punch you in your fucking nose. Snail plentiful magic and his fucking head and comedian dane. Smith fuck. You got outs. I feel like if i wanted to be gay fucking. Stick your fist of your ass. You blew the legion of skanks. Podcast yoed ding-dong. We're done here time to go. Hey everyone before we go. If you enjoy this podcast you enjoy some of the other podcasts. Available guess digital network dot com. This week we're going to be highlighting disgusting hawk with comedian jessica simpson. Who is one of the best one of the absolute best comics out there. We love jessica garrison so goddamn funny. Disgusting hawker stuff. You can find the full catalog of episodes on demand at guest network dot com. Or you can catch the latest twenty episodes anywhere. You find podcasts. Here's a clip. With me and jessica doing our thing. Have you ever out your name on a girl's face now. I wish i produce that kind of volume. But i don't i'm more of like a it's an easy cleanup. It's only three letters true. Maybe if i just finish and drag do you know what i mean. Going back to like an inkwell. Yes perhaps like that. I will give it a try. Yeah i'll try christina. Okay can you try on christina. Can you videotape it. I love watching things like that. I'm whoa god. Are you into videotape. What's your favorite kind of pornography face sitting face sitting. Yes girl sitting on guy's face. Yes i hated my father so you feel like every time you're smothering him. Yes do you. Scream daddy stop yes. How did you know that joseph j and my name is joseph. I couldn't. i'd have to come seven times to get that name written. That's very true. It's a lot of what's your favorite kind of porn housewives. Having sex with are you okay. Yeah i'm just using my mic address. My mic wow. That's just take it easy. Is it happening on purpose. A favorite porn is a gaggle of black men having sex with housewife while husband watches. Oh like watching a woman get pounded by a group of black men. The gang a gang bang and then the husband watches and says what is he doing while he watches as well. The ones i like the ones where they're filming. Sometimes it gets a little. I don't know why. I'm trying to put myself into the spot of how hot that would be. I don't like the ones when the the black eiser insulting the dude. That's not on the side going bit. You could do this motherfucker that i picked. You're like doing some weird death. Wish vigilante move on all of them have been involved in a gang. I have. I've had every hole filled one time one time every hole. Are you counting nostrils and ears avenue every single holes care if that's two four five six eight seven twenty four. Sweep four of hotels where you don't even you wouldn't even believe where some eyeholes what's your favorite whole probably in between my ass and my vagina. Oh okay the third. I yes yes i call it the pamela hole. That's where you're shocker. Lives that you are very deep very spiritual. I don't like to talk about too much because a lot of my friends are lung heads. You know like you'll see fans and stuff like to make some intelligent. I think yeah. I think you are to thank you dr. When you're talking to me you're kinda like putting on a little thing like when i like you're you're taking on my aura kind of are you gay. No no. that's a delight to galactic. Yesterday i was in fact one hundred percents. Sure that i'm not even by really. Oh and even that surprised me a little bit. Have you ever touched a dick. Yeah you have tell us. It was It's been several times that are you okay. Joking you just storing. Sometimes when. I think i moved my tongue around. What's understandable we bounce my knee. It's a little less off putting but So i should bounce my name instead of push my tongue all over the place. I want you to be comfortable. This is your show. I'm just here as a guest and You know i had some questions. You are the foremost Sex advice person here at guests digital so as a person. Who's on the network with you. I had some some questions i want to ask. I'm going to let you ask a question in a minute. But when did you touch a dick. I've touched a dick. I mean we've In south africa To have our girlfriends agreed to hook up with each other. If they're they're drunk drunken proposal was but you'd have to touch If you touch his dick we'll do that so of course. Yeah jim jeffries he pulls checkout. And i just grabbed it. Because i is that all now. Can we go do this other thing. Oh wow did it. Fit in between your little thumb and casino seem small. You'd think so right but it's like now. He was australian so it was a it was a it was a thick. It was a thick one thick softy. All hope for like a sausage but like when you buy the twelve pack not like those premade saw a breakfast links. I'm talking about like a a heavy. Cavalry applesauce ejaz. Yes i understand. Like super shot yes nice.

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Meet The Author - Cinnia Curran Finfer - Confessions of a Helmetless Childhood

MinddogTV Your Mind's Best Friend

1:17:25 hr | 8 months ago

Meet The Author - Cinnia Curran Finfer - Confessions of a Helmetless Childhood

"We'll talk about it on this episode of the mind dog. Tv pate my friends. We another episode of the mindaugas tv podcasts. I'm napa thanks for coming. It's great to have you here. You know what today is what the president's day but if you're looking at this ugly old man right now you're also looking at the four hundred episode of the mind. Not tv podcast. Thank you very much. thank you very much. we'll take about thank you. thank you. Thank you We're gonna talk about my generation today. You know i was talking to my young friend davey. Who's like a son to me. He's in los angeles guests. Happens to be and We he said it's seventy degrees there every day. And i hate him and all that but we to talking about What's going on in his life and he's thirty two years old and he was telling me that his generation is messed up and he didn't put it quite that politely he and i said well what makes you think. Your generation is any different from any generation and every generation has gone through some really heavy sub. Different the stuff week the individual things we go through a different but i think in the end we all have our own growing pains and The the pass through life is a difficult one. What we're gonna talk about my generation's particular pass through life and all the things that we experience and how the world has changed in the Let's just call it more than half a century Alive so i'm and i'll put that politely for People out there so my guess is written a book all about that stuff today. We're going to talk about the book A little bit but then just talk about the experience of the generation that we both come from And my guest. Today is definitely a contemporary of mina she. She seemed like she could have been one of the girls who Turned me down for the junior. Prom went with joey gatto. Oh whatever i mean not that. I'm holding onto these memories. Excuse me while i While i go lay on my therapist couch for for walk born the second of four girls in a new york city scenarios celtic played out in five different grade schools and three different high schools in new york michigan minnesota ohio and illinois small for her age and far from atlantic and a perpetual new kid with unusual name made a made for quite arrived. Like any kitschy made bad calls big mistakes and sometimes simply found herself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Her book confessions of a helmet. Free childhood is an affectionate look in the rear view mirror at the salute to the kid in all of us ladies and gentlemen please open your ears open minds and help me. Welcome in coren thin for to mine mind. Tv podcasts city. It did i. Did i get your name. Siniya like zinni. The it's okay to irish name and i literally have to spell it or pronounce it every day of my life. Some easy going. You can call me. Send to. That's going to do that if i okay. No worries but i'm not good with the phonetic work at what you sent me. Last night i was black. Sin ni ha. Well welcome. anyway. It's a pleasure to have you here So as i mentioned we grow up in the same generation. I'm gonna show you book before we even get started here S green here. We go here we go. It's confessions of a helmet free childhood. Now when i first saw the The title of the book. I was thinking i was going to be talking to a biker. I had to. I will look a little deeper. I forgot that kids. These don't have children anymore. I forgot that you need a helmet to ride a bicycle now. I i remember when helmet laws for motorcycles got introduced When when when exactly did people have to start wearing helmets for bicycles and stuff. Well yeah. I think it was in the early eighties. I was born in nineteen sixty. I graduated from high school in nineteen seventy eight. So yeah i'm a sixties and seventies girl and the whole thing of helmet. Free childhood is style thing. Don't get me wrong if you're skateboarding or writing. A speed fast bike. Plays where police were helmet. Not trying to undo helmets but really it was more that kind of a nod to the free range childhood that we had as kids and like mike key phrases. We were the generation that when our parents kind of sick of us kicking around the house which is looking to say go out and play get out of the house go and it wasn't weren't we had to find her own way to amuse ourselves and so that was like for me. One of four girls was jump. Ropes some bicycles. Maybe basketball. And you go. You went down the street looking for friends. You knock on the door highs dean home. Can you come out and play high nessa home or were just a crooked street in you kind of wiggle your way into it I don't think kids do that now. Maybe in smaller towns but for the most part you and say hey just step out to the street and see what you. I'm in one of the smallest towns passable on long island. I mean. I don't know what the population is but i will tell you we don't have our own post office. We don't have our own fire department We have we. Don't even really have a town. We have one convenience store Pizza shop and a dance studio. And that's it in the entire town called. why why but my grandson. I don't think he's ten years old. I don't think i've ever experienced somebody coming and knocking on the doors and can nicholas come out to play and the kind of things that were very common in the area that we grew up in now my expenses much different than yours in that. I lived in one house for fourteen years. I left home at fourteen. But i grew up on one st and kids in the neighborhood. You know kids on the block in kids from other blocks in a very rich neighborhood at not rich financially rich in diversity and a lot of different Group tons of kids to play with. I mean i probably had two hundred friends In elementary school in junior high school. what was the. What was your experience moving from locale to locale. And what did auditing over. Yeah it was it was. It was tough. I went to five different grade schools. And so i was born in new york city. I want Went to elementary school through first grade. in suburban new york then we moved to detroit and i was in a public grade school from part of first grade through second second grade. Then we moved to then. I switched schools to a catholic school. Then we moved to minnesota. And i went to school for fourth through sixth grade of minnesota then moved to cleveland and i went to school In the same district from six to half of tenth grade then we moved to chicago. And i went to school for a tenth half of ten and all of eleventh and then i moved. I graduated from a catholic girls school outside of chicago. So yeah. I've different grade schools three different high schools. So i'm the guest. It goodbyes anada big deal for you because yes no. I mean it's hard i mean. It's always hard to say goodbye to somebody. You love things that are familiar but by the same token i'm a collector one of my girlfriends my longest running girlfriends girl. I knew in seventh grade and cleveland. You know we're we're still good pals. Wow i still good friends with somebody. I went to kindergarten with. And i asked my my young friend dave last night about that. Because he's going through some stuff. I said who's your longest friend of than you brother. And he was talking about people. He went to college with us. Really have no friends from it. That's one of the big differences. I think Between this generation and the current generation in our generation is that Those long term relationships don't seem to be as prevalent people who've known friends all allies and stuff. I might be wrong in that. But that's what be how your your parents handle france. My my parents have very long friendships. And so i think growing up. I saw that like. Oh this is somebody. I went to college with. Oh this is the girl who lived across the street from me. Oh this guy was best man in my wedding you know so not. I guess i registered to me as a kid. You know when you find somebody that you like and make sense and has is brave enough to tell you what you need to hear that somebody wants to keep in your life. Well the cities. You mentioned that in places that you grew up in don't sound like military places. So what was it. That kept moving around somebody. My dad was in finance and actually as we came up. I had a lot of friends who dad's worked for. Ibm and the joke about ibm was. I've been moved if you cut a promotion to another city so there was a rank of kids that got bopped around a lot but see. I don't think this exists anymore. Because what they would do is the company who hired you would absorb your existing mortgage so you could move and work at the company and the also took care of our movies. I think my dad was of the mind of like. Hey why not. This is a great way to have a really amazing experiences a family and you know promote my career and and see what the world has to have for us. I don't think that is. I don't think that's possible. And when i look at Job things with my my twentysomething kids that there's nothing about a moving allowance or that will absorb any of your debt. It's just like the job is in texas. Get yourself to texas and we'll talk another way our upbringing different than you will wanna four kids. I was one of two kids in my. My other. sibling is Seven and a half years older than me so we didn't hang out so i wanna talk about like your experience with that like going out the first time causing major roads and all that stuff. You always had a a sibling with your not. Well i was. I was number two of four. So it kind of i kind of hung out with my older sister more but then sometimes i there were interests that i shared with my youngest sister so we would do things together but i think a function of age as your kid you get more freedom as you get older so my older sister and i would walk to school together alone or you know we find kids as we walked to school whereas my younger sisters had to wait for that privilege but we it was great because we moved so much that i had three playmates wherever i landed and we share enough interests you know. I can remember saturdays in a midwestern basement playing town or playing house or whatever you know playing with blocks or whatever we had And i have to look for when when my son was young Her and his sister was just a baby. They'd still play with each other. And i'd have friends who only had one kid saying. Hey can scott come over and play. And i'm like well your kid can come over and play here. We're good looking for plenty of right now. But you're happy you're welcome to join the party. So i think that's the dynamic ida college roommate who's only sister was nine years older than her so similar. I mean they're they enjoy other's company but they didn't they didn't show their childhood but Do you remember what age you. I'm thinking about around the corner. Two blocks from my house. There was a major on long island a major long road. It was the original sunrise. Highway and montauk iway that Was right around the block from my house and it was a major highway and it was the one where kids were not allowed to cross without without an adult and all that stuff. Do you remember what age you are allowed to kind of think about that because the different neighborhoods different but to your point we were given autonomy within a certain boundary. Go you know. Go to downtown but it was always understood like you could stay within certain blocks or and there was always that gnarly that gnarly road that you weren't supposed to be on. We lived in a house outside of cleveland. Ohio on a road called south woodland and it was a busy street. It was two lane but it was a lot of crosstown traffic and my mom was not crazy about that and what we would do is usually walk our bikes to the next street. Which then loop behind our our street. That was much more quiet and kids were playing in the street and do it in hopscotch and jump rope and stuff and so that was sort of our understanding. We could also cut through our backyard to somebody else's backyard to get to that street. So that's usually what we did. No definitely. I think you know my my parents were. I would say on the spectrum. Parents strict but fair and having girls. Yeah they had to keep an eye on us but they also wanted us to be able to have confidence to interact with our world i'm looking over the places you're again and now I'm not sure. Be experience in any of these places and long island is prob- where i grew up is probably unique in. Because it's in the sixties with a berry swampy type of shoreline so we had a thing called the bug man. Did you have the bug man. In any of the places they manley somebody who's sprays for trucks the trucks that would come by and they would be spraying. Dvd and kids kids would chase the truck inhaling the ddt because it smells sweet like sugar and so every kid in the neighborhood which chasing poison trucks inhaling the gas parents were out there encouraging it like touch the bumper car equivalent to that was when we lived in minnesota. We just slammed with snow like three feet in our yards. they had serious snow removal equipment in minneapolis. And you knew to get the heck out of the way. When the snowplow here. I mean only the guy was gonna children. But by the same token he needed to keep momentum going. It was understood. You you see coming. Get out of the way. But there'd be a rooster tail effect as the blade came through if you were standing on the side of the road. You really clobbered with a lot of snow so that was one of those you know you'll learn by experience you saw that coming. You wanted to get clear and when people are eight. Start dying young. I i always bring up. Well my neighborhood anyway. What do you expect we we with the generation. Chase the bug man. We wear inhaling. Ddt at five years old Every every day in the summer there's a lot of things there's a suntan lotion and remember i. In the seventies sudden pob was like the suntan lotion. You had to have that and then like a couple. I mean a decade later. Like oh bad you know. That's a kherson genyk agent. You should swell. I've been like bathing in it for decades. Thank and we never had sunscreen When i was a kid anyway. I never thought about you. Know what we did was put on suntan lotion which was supposed to end. But it wasn't protective. Yeah my putting cooking oil on something they make it. Cook faster Basically it wasn't a protective Sons we used to do is teenage girls was. We put aluminum foil on the inside of our album records and hold it up to our face to reflect the sun on our face basically like frying or face wanted to tan for prom or whatever important thing that was happening. Did you ever sit back and kind of try to recall or list. How many times. You should have been dead when my kids were born. I look to the skies and said whoever was my guardian angel. You have signed. I should be dead. Twenty five times over mean four outlet. You know i did it all. I did it all and i was one of those kids. Who have you you know. Don't plan the roof. You could get hurt. I play on the roof just to see how badly i could get. Her guy was always into quantitative research. I think i was basically thought of as a good kid. When i grow up but i recall some of the stories of life and if i recall some of the things i did i i can't imagine how i ever was sort of as a a well behaved kid. 'cause i got you know jumping off the roof with a cape that was made of attack taliban all safety pin a beach towel between two beds thinking it'd be a great hammock and ripped to comforters. Because i couldn't carry my weight. But i didn't know that green is is like kids learn. You're such a stupid kid yes you are. You've never it before. It seems like a good idea you it and there's a bad result but we somehow even though are an today we would probably look at our parents giving us that kind of autonomy and the neglectful but somehow the large majority of us made it through Having to have constant parenting all day long I can remember standing behind my dad. My dad would have sedan cars four cars and you. I would stand with my hands on the seat of my dad. Driving the car. And i'd be watching what he was doing and that was considered nothing right And we drove convertibles. We would sit on the back seat. That was on the hood the roof down and we're sitting on the back hood kind of as a car was moving and it was no big deal and it's a one stop short roll out of the car. It was no big deal. Bettman very strange Television when i mean we decry the internet but our parents decried the television remember. The tv was not twenty four hours when we were kid. The tv ended with a What do you call it. A the the star spangled banned the national anthem play american flag and then it went to test pattern and then also cartoons. Were only saturday. You waited for saturday. To watch cartoons. Where when i heard of cartoon network i was like and there. They go never see. I'll never see my kids eyeballs again because let me watching cartoons twenty four hours a day. Did you start out with black and white family. What what age were you. When you finally got colored me think about it. I would probably say were fourth and fifth grade. Some it was a big deal. It was a big deal and we could. We could watch the black and white tv if we wanted to watch the color tv mom or dad had to turn it on because it was a big deal other television and i think we were the first or second family on our block to get a color tv and every family came to see it like it was what about garage door openers. I remember when my friend vanessa's dad. Got a garage door opener and we were like. Check this out and you know. I watched the movie apartment familiar with jack. Lemmon sir sir That's nine hundred sixty and we. We did a little analyze ation of it last month. With adam lippi. Who's a common guest on the show and he's a film student at fill a former film critic and filmmaker. Now we take it for jack. Lemmon has a remote control to wired remote like a little box I in that movie. Nineteen sixty which was fascinating. Nobody had remote controls. Your dad made you get up and change the channel. Sometimes you had to hold the antenna for in tin foil on the raptors. The other was remember with a big deal. Jiffy pop popcorn was yes as four. You had to like put it in a pan and on the stove and it didn't know you know more often than not. You burnt the popcorn with jiffy. Pop if you bert just throughout the whole rig right. That was a slumber party staple you had to have jiffy pop popcorn. Explain what that is for the younger people who basically on a self contained pan of aluminum foil with pre pop popcorn and oil. And you just shook it over the the burner until it all popped up into sort of like a spherical ball shape and then you took it off and you to crack it. Open reported out to have four. You know your your birthday party or slumber party somehow. I still managed to burn all the time and you just throughout the whole thing because it smelled so bad right was it was difficult now. Do you remember because you grew up in a lot of different places channels. Were changing all the time. But i roughly. How many channels you hadn't and i think there is like five vhf and three uhf we. I used to watch big chuck and houlahan when i babysat and they used to have pizza eating contests and mush mouth. Mulligan was the champion for years. He could stuff an entire pizza in his mouth and thirty five seconds and i used to watch this every saturday while babysat with complete rapture. I thought it was amazing. He could do this. Will you a bandstand fan. When you answer and soul train. I loved soul train because they showed us how to dad's i'd also like about soul train at that time. The kids were wearing their own clothes. Now you watch the grammys everybody's been styled to death. If you go back to those old american bandstand soul trains. Those kids were wearing their clothes out their best from the closet and off they went. Yeah but so i think was more junior high school years and but i think i started watching dancing. I think in first grade. We at saturday parties of again. That's how you got to see the acts what i was trying to explain. It's that you know. When i saw the jackson five in a parade in cleveland ohio. I lost my mine there. They are in person. Oh my gosh and you only saw them on like what was it. Also don kirshner rock concert. You could see rock bands on saturday night watching that but without those things you never got to see these groups other than like reading a magazine but what about radio weei you're listening to. Am radio for the top. Ten countdown and sixty in cleveland. Ohio mike grammarian the morning and they did a whole lot of they did a lot of whole lot a whole lot of contests and i was always listening for the contest. Why don't you take that and put it put it on the air. I want to talk to them. I haven't given. This is sorry. That's fine. I wanna talk to all this especially if you just if you wanna pause a but i'm i'm afraid i'm gonna lose a signal. So what should we do could. Could you give me two minutes. Can we do for you. All right i'll be right back if you're just joining me. Now i'm talking with siniya current vinci. Who's the author of the book. Confessions of a list a helmet. Free childhood And it's all about growing up in the sixties and seventies before we had a very regulated child in a very different Time place in environment if my generation to generation i grew up in and basically the idea here for anybody who's not from the from the younger generation is comparing how Childhood and be experienced of childhood has changed over the last half a century. The book is a memoir full of great stories of what it was like for us Technology wise family wise and all those kinds of things Looks like she back. Let me just save. she's ready. I thought maybe not yes. One more minute So the book is a great Look back at our experience and it's great to if you're not from our generation to kind of compare The differences between your generation and are so it's a It's a delightful kind of reminiscence. And i will tell you I had a lot more economy than than i think anybody will ever have again in any generation at at my age My in my generation. I was allowed to kind of go on my own. As long as they didn't cross the big street as early as three years old So i could go East and west in any direction. I can only go north two blocks. I could go south as far as i wanted to. Because we were against a water and again. I could walk all the way to the beach or over bridges To my beach. Where i was south shore of long island Could not go north because there was a major highway. Two blocks north of mass. But it's three years old could go just about anywhere and do just about anything and it did. Get me in trouble a couple of times. I i remember One specific instance. As i have mentioned Many times on this program. My father was a gambler. A guy Who is very much into horse racing and betting on sports. But he took me to Santa anita racetrack in Called anaheim but it's not really it's not anaheim it's alhambra california and We were at the racetrack at three years. Old and i disappeared What the mom and dad will both the horse race Finish and little. Matthew somehow just wandered off and was not found that three years old a racetrack in california. And i'm living in long island new york so They couldn't find me at the time. And at that time there was no such thing as amber alerts so three year old kid is missing and ten was missing four three days three and a half days before they found me. They put out some posters and stuff like that. Let police departments now Eventually located with a chinese family living among them as in adopted strange child that just became went home with them from the race. Check so As i think i was given a little more autonomy than anyone from any generation will ever be given again. I looks like sent back with salt. Westboro back well. That is a story. I have compares. I have a ton of those because as a people who who follow the program no. My father was a degenerate gambler and And so watching. His bet money come in was always more important. So i have that story about being lost to the racetrack at three years. Old and being found three and a half days later with a chinese family Hanging out with them as i was of their new kids. And then i have another one where My father and my hitman uncle took me on it and actual hidden in brooklyn new york at five years old bucket. I'm i'm planning on. It's just you know. I've been planning on it for four years now. I'm struggling with the whole idea of the book. My brother and and this is the thing. I this mouth has no filter when it's in front of a microphone and i was on somebody else's show him And i said way too much and my brother called me up and he we were having a conversation he said. Oh yeah my friends love. You love your podcast and i. My all was oh. I guess i'd better watch what i say. And he said Oh you mean like when you told that guy about how. I was a criminal and mom and dad were jail when you came home from school ads. Like that's kind of what i mean. And he took it well and he said you made it sound like i was a hardened criminal for life. I have to remind them. Well you wear. And he said no. I just took a side track from from the straight narrow for a year or two. There's a good book you should read by rick. Kogan who wrote for the chicago tribune called everybody. Pays and it's about the chicago mob scene in the seventies and they had to do a very delicate job on how they discussed it but it probably has one of the most concise like within three paragraphs history of the chicago mob. I've ever read and it's a very. It's a very compelling story. Wow so but that was a big pot of And i don't know how much you you were Paid attention to the news when you were a child or like elementary school or Or even you know middle school. Would we called them. My your i think junior high school. You probably call the junior high school. Did you Be all stuff that was going on as far as kennedy. Assassination martin luther king malcolm accessible rights snake. I was like nine when that happened. And and my parents are native new yorkers we were living in minnesota at the time but they had the new york times delivered and i remember that classic picture of the girl the white kerchief and her friends face down in a pool of their own blood and i was horrified by the image and i said to my parents what happened and my mom said well. The the the students were protesting. The army came and a soldier shot a student dead and i just looked him saying. I'm a student like you know when you're a kid. People grownups are like members of a play. There are soldiers. There's the fireman there's four but like to me. That was such a line cross a show as a soldier shot a student dead at that. That can happen. So yeah. I mean when people talk about these kids going through the pandemic and and i'm not gonna make light of it. It's really hard on a lot of kids but by the same token we did. We went through. Martin luther king. We went through a jfk I can state was really upsetting and the you know how about busing. That was the big fun time and the vietnam war to me. I'm still obsessed with the vietnam war. Because obviously i wasn't old enough to go and graduated in one thousand nine hundred seventy seven. The war really ended in seventy five officially ended in seventy five but for all intents and purposes. We stopped Sending people over seventy three seventy two. So i i never had a chance to go there. But i'm obsessed with the war in all it brought to our generation so the thing is you know as i mentioned while you were away for a moment is the idea of comparing generations and people who'd who had a similar Experience or you know thinking that they're Generation was unique in problems that we face are are unique and new to the world The more work we change the more we kind of stay the same and and just because we are having severe as the idea of that impact on kids doesn't really change that much thoughts on that during during the vietnam war my uncle served and do you remember. Pow bracelets for those who don't know on the issued pow bracelets any american soldier who was captured the issued. Sort of a. i guess. I wasn't silver but a silver silver colored metal bracelet like cuff bracelet. And it and it would say like James clark And what his rank and then when he had been captured and my My my uncle was serving. Gosh when i was in fourth through sixth grade and people would kids would come up to me showing there. Is this your uncle and happily. It wasn't but that was a pretty messed up thing to do. But there's a I live outside in the coachella valley. Now and there's a fabulous not art but Air and space museum and they have a display of pow bracelets from seventy s. And so it is an interesting moment in your life when you go to a museum and part of your life is part of the exhibit. Oh it's the olden days look at the model t and look at the you know the old plane but now we're at a certain age and our our childhood is being chronicled in museums right. Yeah and it's just so it but What do you think about this idea that You know my young davie told me. His generation is the worst ever and How do you give that any credence or or is it. All part of I it's a different experience but is it necessarily any worse or any any anymore different and they have and i think validate the challenges. There are things that are very strange to me that my kids my nephews and nieces have to navigate that i didn't have to navigate And i think part of that is this false sense of everybody's having a better time than i am and with the social media sort of exacerbates that and what i said to my kids like you know when i first moved from california and went back to illinois to see some friends i brought some snapshots and my girlfriend's looking through my snapshots and she said. Oh wow you're the beach and your zoo. And you're skiing your. Oh it looks like life in california looked so fun and i said jennifer. I brought you the fun pictures. I don't take a picture say here. I was when my tire was flat and here. I am filling out my tax return. I mean you capture the happy moment so the thing about Social media is that you say oh here. I'm at this fabulous party or look at this great cocktail. I'm having or whatever. And then they also put a filter on it and the only take the good shot. So i mean i think you have to. You have to take all of that with a grain of salt but the other thing is that in the seventies kind of vibe was fly low and avoid the radar. You didn't draw attention to your private things. So we got away with a lot. Whereas i find what i find a little unusual with my kids. Contemporaries is there so confessional. I'm this. I'm that this is where i stand politically this is my sexual orientation i'm like and it's all good you're entitled to be who you are but usually i mean like we've just met i don't know what your political affiliation isn't. We'd take a couple of weeks for us to get there. And i you know whoever you curl up with night is your own business and not mine but what i find. Kind of interesting is one one degree. They're very like here. Let it all hang out but at the other time. They don't know how to navigate conflict. If they have a a kerfuffle with a girlfriend or a boyfriend like that's it it's over and i'm like oh my dear speaking someone who's been married for twenty five years that's when it gets interesting. How do you navigate that argument. How do you. how do you make amends. How do you figure out. How do we go forward though. You still feel this way. And i feel that way and you haven't changed. I haven't changed you but we gotta get along. Do you remember your first day of school. Let's see yeah. Guess i would. Mrs sparks kindergarten and in ridge street elementary in new york and i remember thinking she was very nice she was very old lady but the room was beautiful. It was like all these little round tables. And you're you're the colorful alphabet and lots of pretty bookstore. I remember thinking it was great. And then i have a very visceral memory of being pulled up to learn how to brush my teeth. Like they'd have people come to this giant mouth with teeth and a giant turns. Now i'm you think about that like maybe. Some parents aren't teaching their kindergartners. How to brush their teeth so they sent us home with the toothbrush and then remember red coat tablets. Of course good job here eat this on gartner and like all the park would show up in your teeth would look your lips would be red for three days. Every elementary school had a dental hygiene on stale. And things like that. Or i remember watching the soobee honey movie like when if if it was too snowy and we couldn't go out like i guess they had some standard films to show us during recess to like just entertain us until we had to go back to class and the sue behind was basically the story of how honey was made like here are the bees in the field. And here's the queen bee and now they take the honeycomb away and that that that that that till it ends on your table and i remember the thing they have this little kid eating like just honey on a piece a wonder bread and they don't forget your crust. It'll make your hair curly. Really the reason i asked about your first day at school How do i put this Don't be too. I two days ago three days ago. I had a young lady on the program. Who has she's a young child and your first day of school you mentioned kindergarten. I'm five years old. My i had the same experience. And i remember my first day very well. My son who went to school in the late eighties His he began preschool three years old and had two years of preschool. Kids too so at that was our generation. And then you're our children's generation started at three years old with preschool The lady who had on. I had on me two days ago She had eighteen eighteen month old and they're starting to send kids to school at eighteen months. Now these were any better off for pushing education earlier you know what were your. I think preschool is exactly what it is. It's pre school it's playing. It's not academic. And as a working. Mom i mean i think my son started school. Probably two and a half but it's really a function of daycare and i think this thing might concern was. I wanted him to be able to be fully mobile that he could climb up on the slide and play with toys and whatever but also to make your needs known and i think that verbally eighteen months. You can't say a whole lot of other than i'm unhappy because my pants are wetter. I need something to eat. But i think there are highly skilled people in early childhood education. Who can handle that. Do find that person but then there's also you know. When i was growing up there were a lot of aunts and uncles. Who kind of served that. If i'm going on an errand or whatever. So i would say i would say it's not the end of the world. I think the say my daughter is a highly social person. And i think it was because she was an playgroup from the time she could sit sit setup. We had three families that we kind of bounce the kids between the three areas and she was the youngest and the oldest were three and a half years older than her so by the time she got to school. She just walked into the room because she was used to being with a lot of kids. And so i think preschools helpless far and play groups are helpful as far as socialization and just learning how to share and learning how to wait your turn and those those basic things. Being a person i agree. My son was far more social butterfly. The need because he started school as preschool. Three but this lady who was on She was talking about the motivation for eighteen months of being educational unacademic seriously They fear is that if you don't do you know she's from where you are high. I hear the and The fear and the pressure is that. If you don't start them early enough they're gonna be behind educationally than the other kids and we were kind of told that when i sent my son to preschool to if you don't everybody else's and then he's gonna be behind when he gets into kindergarten deeply philosophical debate. But what i would say is kids and having moved around so much as as kid who went to so many different schools. If you're not happy you can't learn. And i think that preschool is very developmental. And and children's play is their education. You learn like oh this fits into that. And if i run this over my foot it doesn't feel good those sorts of things and also socialization just like saying like if somebody's unpleasant to you that you say i want that back or at the same time asking nicely. That's a good skill to learn. So i think that. I don't think it's better or worse it's different and i think apparent has to be in tune with what their kid is capable of taking on. But i think that this whole rat race of like i gotta keep i gotta keep. I gotta keep up my thing with my kids. Was i said in middle school. This is when the cheating starts wholesale. And i knew that from being in so many different schools and i said i would going on record i would rather have a cheated would rather have a a honest f than cheated for a because an f. tells me one of two things one you didn't show up you didn't read. You didn't do the work and so you don't know it so you got a f- or you really don't get this like i was really good in english and and solid in science. Math was just really hard for me. And so what f tells you is you gotta go back. You gotta learn this and this social push push push. I think is bad because if you don't get math in fourth grade fifth grade is going to be a bigger mystery and sixth grades. Going to be a nightmare. So i'm all for it. I mean would this whole key pandemic pandemic situation certain teachers are more adept. At certain. Kids are more adaptable to it. But if i had a kid who was like say in fourth grade and was really having a really hard time with it. I would think very seriously of repeating fourth grade because it's not about who gets to college i it's about. Do you know the material. Do you have the groundwork they call it. Elementary education for reason to go forward to high school and succeed and from high school to college. Well she shocked me by saying they don't even teach kids biology anymore and i was like eighteen months old but we didn't. We didn't learn biology until tenth grade. Eighteen month old is this is an insect. This is a mammal. This is a fish. I mean i. I don't think you go get it going to species and genus right. You shouldn't be teaching I mean but we weren't. We didn't need that be caught that in school. This is again. That was part of just like things you learned at home things you learned from life and all said families have as much like you were saying. There were two hundred kids for you on your street so you learned a lot if not by participation by observation like you watch the big guys play basketball and go. Wow that's cool. I want to learn how to do that. You know at the same time there might be somebody you be really rotten to someone and you saw what the consequences were. And you're like oh well. That guy is kinda tough. I'm going to steer clear of him. Those are kind of lessons that serve you through life as well. Everything is in a book right. Yeah what about telephone. I grew up originally. i think it was. I think it was a teenager before we actually had to telephones. And as we had one on the wall in the kitchen right Do you remember having one ever in the house. Well the thing is you can imagine four girls and we had to have we have rules about phone time and also we had to stay off the phone certain time because my dad needed to call my mom home to say he was heading home so there was a dark time and also during during dinner. The phone could bring off the hook. My mom wasn't gonna move a muscle. Wow i think my french father made him pick it up and tell people sarcoma back in You know bad times the call or something but yeah. I had friends who were not allowed to eat. You know talk on the phone at all. If it was family. Dinnertime never situation in my house. I don't know why but also the phone was a big status symbol. I remember when my girlfriend started. Getting bar mitzvah. If you got princess phone for either your fourteenth birthday or your bot mitzvah that was that was a big deal. Nobody had a cell phone. And i think you know pe- young people Today i know they understand the technology but they don't realize just how drastically exchange the idea that we're we're in a paradigm right now. Where if you don't have a phone on you at all times. You start to panic. Oh my god. I don't have my cell phone with me. We went days weeks sometimes without being. You know if you were vacation you Or you went camping or something. Yeah no phone. No communication whatsoever. How how did we possibly survive that. Well i can remember when the cell phones were coming out of his for a pr firm in los angeles. And i thought it was such an extravagance like who needs that. That's that's crazy. And then i can remember a little later. When cell phones became a thing loving getting on a plane to fly across the country for something and being the can't talk to me for five. Hours i am just i can just be present. I can just like a magazine or work on work or whatever but i will have no disruptions What was your first job. Do you remember Getting working papers working papers and all that stuff yeah arby's roast beef and we established my sister and i were so excited and they sat us down and say your sisters. Can you work together. Some sisters cannon. Some sisters can't and we thought the nineteen year old assistant manager was so glamorous. Her name was jamie. I still remember and she had car and she had an apartment and she liked boston. All little highschoolers schoolers around and we weren't allowed to slice the beef until you're eighteen. You could not use that that beef cutter until you're eighteen but we thought we had our little outfits and we had we had lunch credit and like i remember being so proud getting my first paycheck which had like you know fayka taken out and social security and my dad explaining. I'm like why did they take money out of my check. So what would you know if you had to pick like anything to kind of symbolize. The whole era of when when we go up our whole generation what would be iconic What would be the icon the logo or whatever. It is the brand of our generation. How that's an interesting question. I was gonna say that you were going to go. With what would be i would say autonomy with boundaries was was the my existence but i mean i guess like the frisbee because it was a very simple toy but it was space age. That was the space program applied to a toy. Well i wanna talk about toys because there's this thing now And i know in our generation. We had barbies. And i had gi joes and and put this whole thing about gender issues in boys and girls can't play with toys you remember. Click lacks absolutely. They were banned at our school because people were throwing them against the brick wall to shatter them. Long gone but yeah click clack an op. Hops debt was a co. ed boys and girls played with them. The same gender fluid toy right. But now i would think if we if because they wanna gender is everything that would probably fall more towards the guys to Toy of a masculine toy because it could be used as a weapon now. They're narrowly business of a flying. Click clack right and they were banned at some point for off. I guess an and they would. But did you ever see that happen. Yes i want some boy do it deliberately and we thought it was totally cool because like again there was a snowy day it was a red brick wall. He took a blue click clack ball and threw it with all his might and it shattered like a firework and landed in blue chunks in the snow. And we we didn't applaud but we might as well and then of course a teacher or a a mom and dad who was on the thing said came running over like what the hell was that flying glass and the kid got the kid. Got detention and the click clocks. Were out i. I never saw anybody get really injured from them. And i i you know. I think we probably happened to one or two kids at the time. And they just said well. What's nipped in the bud. Because it was one of those and toys were fads in those days. We don't see that as much anymore with things you remember Super elastic bubble plastic. Oh yeah and rock them sock them robots. Yes love that you know not as off but you put it back on The super elastic bubble plastic i think was similarly banned because kids were inhaling it yeah and get a sniffing glue and that's something you know your first exposure to any kind of drug use or anything like that won't take a great story. I went to the school. I went to again in minnesota was which individual prescribed instruction to east coast fathers. Total hippy school. He did not like it but we gave it a go and we had a guy come in from the mod squad and you know what a halliburton cases it's Yeah he brushland. He opened it up. An inside was a hookah and a syringe and then he was like boys and girls. This is what's going around in these are bad. And what's the difference. Between a barbiturate amphetamine and my parents were both equal measures horrified but like no. They need to know this. Because you know we had babysitters who were having like overdoses and stuff and you know in in suburban america. It would because kids didn't know what they were taking and they take a fistful pills. Eating them like candy. And there'd be a bad thing or just bad stuff. Yeah i think they wanted to arm us with information that's another drug culture change and it's gotten worse but in those days hills were. Were a big thing. You know medicine cat. And he's lay. People could actually go into medicine cabinet and get stuff from grandmom. Mom and dad For the purposes of getting high. That's those days are in kids today who you know aluna into whatever in all crazy drugs that are out now. They have no idea about You know using medicine prescribed medicine to get i. I guess they do now with the opiates. Stuff the oxycontin stuff but right. It's yeah so world has gotten worse in in that. Respect we shoehorn. I'm very happy that the whole medical marijuana thing happened because I if i if somebody i love is going to get marijuana would like them to go someplace where quality control is one thing and that your personal security is sort of a thing and again how here in the coachella valley. We have a lot of retired people you go into cannabis dispensary. It's mostly white haired. People getting cd's so they can sleep or they've got joint. Pain is probably bald guys I just got my car about a month ago But i i tell you what I i'm a big proponent of medical marijuana i think if it and i can see why big pharma hates it because if if you can if you can take care of it with your problems without getting addicted to pills and all that kind of stuff it's a good thing in my in my view Do you remember first concert. She went to three dog night at blossom music center. Outside of cleveland. I was in eighth grade. I was so lucky that could go along and remember where people used to throw people in blankets like a trampoline kind of deal. I was tiny and so they thought it was great fun to throw. Because i really went flying and i remember being mid air and hearing. We need more people and i came down and struck the ground and then they threw me up again and i spent the whole concert. Leaning on one side took basically a body blow the concert in the blanket throat. And did you go with your sisters or do you go what it was i was. I was in eighth grade a musical theater thing that was high school and middle school kids and they needed a little girl in the in the play so i was in the play and then it was like cast night at blossom music center. Please can i go. And because my older sister and one of my baby sister one of my babysitter's was in the cast. My mom and dad said you can go but like don't blow this if you blow this. You're never doing this again. And i'm like okay. Okay and i remember thinking it was so fantastic When you are young girl You must have had the what do you wanna be when you grow up Idea to it did the idea you had as a young girl. Would i want to be when i grow up. Does it match the reality of who you are now. Well yes and no. I mean i think kids are fantastic. I mean i wanted to be a jockey in the triple crown. Because i grew to be a certain. There's a height limit on that. But i think i will tell you one thing that really resonated to me as a little kid. I was probably fifth grade. The mary tyler moore show. That was so cool that she had her own apartment that she had her sassy friend rhoda and that she went to work in murray was her friend that you can have a man friend. Like he wasn't her boyfriend they were good friends. And i thought wow that's great. There was also a really terrible movie. But for whatever reason resonated it was called lucky lady with gene hackman. Burt reynolds and liza minnelli. Is that a strange cast right there. But what i loved about it was she was one of the guys and they were on adventures. And i remember thinking. Like i want to be that kind of girl i wanna be with a guys and like stay out late and a sailboat and gamble it all look very great to me. I'm a huge gene hackman fan. I don't remember that one. I'm going to have to look it up or it's not a good movie. But i and i love it. Yeah did the whole -perience growing up in the sixties and seventies was a very different one. Now the a. What was your first car. we'll all remember. We had a toyota. It was a little toyota. Gosh it was. It was like candy apple red and it was like a little station wagon and the reason why my my parents got that as sort of the kids car was because when you when you're in high school you have stuff you have to bring whether it's a bake sale or you know band equipment or whatever you need that back payload also you could load a lot of friends in was a fairly inexpensive car because my parents knew it was going to get hit so weren't gonna put a lot of money into a kid's car and and yeah that that little toyota's saw a lot of bent metal and toyota's datsuns toyota's it would nissan datsun honda's little real intimacy. Honda roommate. had one of those. Yeah skinny boot. It was tiny and they were thought of as like non-competitive brands in those days. Man yeah so very you remember power steering ever watching my dad's fight with the car to like do a three point turn and then all of a sudden power. It's like this. yeah so you know. Things have certainly changed in all those areas of technology and all kind of stuff. These think the human ra we as people are any different l. d. Think we're we're you know different because of The time that has passed technology and all that stuff. The tea is removed. I think the thing that's better is that combination of diversity and communication. We have a better understanding of each other than than we have in the past. I mean you know. I i have a i have a co who's from hungary and i would've never understood what he was about if i had known him as a as a child as an adult. It's been a great journey that way as far as technology. I think we get a little lazy. I think you know. Remember we before the television remote. We had to cross the living room to turn the channel We used to have to use our hands to open up a can opener. We open up the garage door. So i think we've we've replaced just physical action with going to the gym. And i think we had a much more physical childhood and we had much more childhood more attached to nature or natural things. I agree with just about everything he said. I mean The one thing. I think again i. I've been trying to be a little. The guest i had on saturday was a very Dimensional person so she she And i'm bringing it up. Because of the discussion we had about generational changes shoes like thirtyish and She's a mom and cooking. Show host an entrepreneur and a influence in podcast or in in points and So i see the point Who just had a baby and now's no longer points but we were talking about How you know pornography was not really didn't expect it wasn't you couldn't get it it didn't exist. It wasn't pornography until the seventies in the sixties will. I mean it was in progress. Yeah really magazines and stuff with if if if it were on film. It was like stabbed films that all men had like locked key cabinet and nobody would ever see him anything but we talked about How sexual attitudes of chains. And i was talking about like a hundred years ago and she thought and she being a young person would have no way of knowing that said that like there was a In my grandmother's probably your grandmother's generation. That thinks more prudish. I think the roaring twenties were wearing twenty. The i think that is i. Think that is egotistical. Statement that every Every generation things like. Oh oh mom. And dad had no idea. Oh grandma. grandpa lived like little house on the prairie. No way people misbehaving for forever. You can look at old japanese paintings from the fifteen hundreds and there's some really racy stuff i think we if left to our own devices. We find things to do with each other. But i think the thing that. I'm a little unnerved by all the tinder and grinder and all of that is that you play this way. I can put miss the ramp. You know there's something about can someone's eye across the room and then half listening to the conversation legal along. He's kind of interesting and then you talk to them and you get the nerve to chat with them and they they get the nerve to ask out and all of that is really very titillating But if you go from zero to naked yeah that that that was my point. I think i find pornography boring to be quite frank with you. you know it's just like you take all the excitement out of it by just like making nothing is hidden. Nothing is Nothing sorry right is absolutely no mystery and also Why bother i mean. That's not exciting. That's you know really feel sorry for people who are trying to date in the age of the pandemic because one. You just can't get together and to now you know i had to worry about. Std's have to worry about kovic. So you really honest discussion with someone before you get involved going like so how are you. Have you been vaccinated yet. I think it's going to be like vaccination card. Can i see your papers remember of vaccine vaccines getting your vaccines for school. Yes and i remember. Polio was put on a piece of the polio. Vaccine was like a red thing put on a sugar cube better and we would ask commute. Can we have another polio vaccine because it was known as far as americans are not doctors. Like no you're good and going back to the drug reference Some of the hippies took Took note of that and lsd at the time was distributed in sugar cube for more in the sixties. When i came out. Because because that's the way kids were getting a lot of beira. I wasn't initiation some vaccination or something but it was Polio related you. Know preventative trick. I don't know that the doctor or a pharmacist. Who had access to something. They really shouldn't have access to and shared it with friends And i know we're over the out here. Just because i i it's Along along those lines Do you remember your your first experience with Things like group a little league. Obviously girls weren't literally. But you had like brownie girl scout. I had brownies. And like i have to say i liked to do something with my girlfriends afterwards. But like a lot of the things that you had it was always about getting badges. And you had this checklist. It all seem kind of like work. Brownies was fun. Girl scouts was kind of a drag to me. I mean it's a wonderful institution. And but i think our lives were much painter then and so it allowed us to get involved with things. When my kids went to school they had all kinds of after school activities. I had basically tap dancing and tap dance ballet which was a class and then brownies or girl scouts. But then i remember when title nine came through and all of a sudden girls got sports equipment and we went from just having field hockey and badminton to all this basketball and gymnastics equipment and soccer equipment. So i was at the advent of that right. I hate to get political here. But what do you think about the state of Bad whole gender sports related in today. We'll how far key it's so tricky. And i don't really think i'm in a position to too lay. But i think it it is something that needs to be defined and you know i embrace everybody's ability to compete. I think it's going to have to be on a case by case basis is like i'm one hundred fifteen pounds and i've always identified as a woman but if i'm competing against one hundred and forty five year old up one hundred forty five pound person who used to identify as i. I don't know if that's a fair race. I don't care what he identifies. And a i'm not transphobic or any of this stuff. It's just when you competing and a guy still and it's still a a physical mail still has all all we attribute a male still has the testosterone of a male. But i as a woman should be competing if you let it feel like. I mean i'd say about. That is stay tuned and i would say if someone said what should we do today about it. I said case by case basis. Because i think there's no way you can make a universal statement about this without someone being unfairly ding So i think they're i. It remains to be seen my my final thought on that is once you're your atomic correct woman once you've had the operation or anything then you can compete against women. But until you until you are anatomically one of those that those agendas us you should compete against men because it's unfair You know especially in things that require a lot of upper body strength. I know women are stronger in the lower body and in the abdomen for a lot of so yeah it is a tricky thing and i think the world has gotten we try to confuse things the more we try to be tolerant and Politically correct about things. I think the more confused we re become about tradeoffs with with either way. I mean i certainly grew up in a time where you don't do that because you're a girl which was incredibly unfair. I have friends who went into the air force and have done fabulously and had had certain rules not change. The wouldn't even had a chance. Though on on that part. I feel that way but i think this is such a complex thing and there's so many degrees of shade that are motorized shades of gray on this that they're they're going to have to take it slowly and be very specific I know we over the so. I'm going to wrap this up as quickly as i possibly can but When i was young and for most of my life i fear getting all and never envisioned myself. This is actually thought thought i. I was absolutely positive. I was going to die at fifty four But from your perspective first of all did you have that anxiety about getting old and is this age. Sorry to mature. I want this as his age. Better than you envisioned it or worse. I think it's one i think. America does tremendous service were so youth crazy and like you know life ends when you're thirty four and that is not i have. I have a next door neighbor. Who's ninety seven years old completely fully capable of paying bills walks dog. She lives a quiet life. She's not out disco dancing. But i have totally been surrounded by people who are very dynamic in their seventies eighties. I think the thing is you have to take care of yourself. March generation did not take care of ourselves and that bill has to be paid. But no i think you know. I'm sixty years old and i feel like i've got many innings left in me. Yeah i. I can't do some of the things i did when i was twenty. Four years old But there's things that. I understand better and i think people at this age are far kinder to each other. I don't have to worry about navigating kind of the that. it's social bs. That had to in my twenties. And i find people much more open. You can chat somebody up at a restaurant or walk up to somebody a store at my age and you know talk about any topic. And they're usually very willing to help you out I had a midlife crisis at every. I was deathly fate of getting old I'm loving being all the now. I see it as an accomplishment. But i had a midlife crisis at twenty at thirty at forty at fifty. Sixty was a point where i finally got to say. You know what. I never expected to be here. Life is good so many of my contemporaries are gone and didn't make it this far. This is something not only be a proud of but also to be embraced and enjoyed. I mean it's not so much the being sixty blows my mind. It's the forty twenty years ago. And i talked to young people all time and i i feel like i'm being in light to them when i say. Oh you're just a kid at thirty years old. But that's how i feel. I mean to me. Life begins at thirty now. I live so long. Ticketed ended at thirty one of my friends and i have similarly. I have. I think part of it is i. People are in their thirties. Had to deal with the financial collapse right after they got out of college and now they've had to deal with. This really had their butt handed to them twice majorly before they even hit forty and so. It is kind of spinning. But you have to look at previous generations who've been through much worse and I think the thing. Is you have a reality. Check of this is not great. But i'm gonna turn this around. I wanna get to a better place. And i am a big believer. That attitude affects altitude right. So i've had the You l. going across the screen at the bottom. I'm gonna read it up it's Helmet hyphen free. Childhood dot com a netflix. You can get the book. Let's talk a little bit about the book before we wrap this up again. The book is how many chapter thirteen chapters team crazy stories of things that i did as a kid and again i think they're not unique to me. I think everybody has destroyed. A dollar crashed bike. So i think that'll be fun. And it's really a written in the semi chronological fashion. But it's meant to get the conversation going on all the crazy you did as a kid and there's only one bad word in it and it's not a bad really bad word and i what i'm delighted. Is that women like it. Man really get a laugh out of it and finding little kids like it because they're like wow you weren't born and grown up. We all had to get there and it's a messy it's a messy trip so you not superstitious at all. I in what way why would have either gone to fourteen chapters or cut it at twelve. I had twenty. I had twenty and I knew i had to call the heard. And so i what i tried to do. Was that there wasn't so much overlap. Some of the stories kind of overlapped each other as far as experience and there was one that i was thinking of taking out. But what's interesting is like my first interview. The gentleman who hire who interviewed me love that story the best so it's my lucky thirteen okay And to book is available on amazon you go to go to the dot com. I bet it's there. Were you know whatever you and i will say it's audiobook. It's a kindle. it's a paperback. it's hard bound. Because i know people like to You consume books in different ways. And i would say you could sit down and read it in an hour but i would recommend eat it like a box of chocolates or three night. Did you read the audiobook. yes i did. And that was a humbling experience. I have new abiding respect for your job. Airing hard to go on for an hour without a an error. Well you can always edit that stuff like no but even so you know what i mean. You have to consider you have mike volume and if you do it in multiple days. There's always a little bit of variance that you have to balance. It was a humbling experience. And when it's your life story You've you know you being really careful to try to really make it personal and and put some feeling into it could be a little. Yeah reading my life story would definitely be a challenge for may or something i wrote but as and you'll going to live many many decades still from the so i would think this well. Yeah i would think that would be a great when you're ninety years old to have this to look back on and and help you remember like i think a lot of a lot of us would benefit from writing a memoir about our lives at this point so that when we get older we we have something to reflect on. Surprise was that there weren't more when i was doing this. I'm like oh gosh. There's probably going to be so many books about nine thousand nine hundred seventy nine hundred seventy one and to my great surprise. There aren't so. I like to think that if that's something you wanna look at You know i. It's a nice little snapshot of a funny time. There are so many great memories from that era and I try to whenever Writing or being creative reflect on that period of time because to me and i think everybody will experiences those years. The wonder years as they call them from the time. You make your first friends that were on your own that weren't appointed by a family member or something like that until the time you you graduate high school those a wonderful years that always will stick with you and always be magical no matter what time period via so i can give some advice to your young friend who's feeling little spun feel spun i kind of center myself and i think about those playground friends who made me happy and why did they make me happy and seek out those people in my life. That's exactly what i told is why i asked him. Who's your oldest friend. Longest friend oldest friend but longest friend and and tried to to serve. And then i said you know. He gave me a list of people. He remembered I said you need to reach out with them before. Especially before it's too late and you get we'll see complete on yeah I appreciate your time here. I wish you great success for the thank you and you go out and play. Go outside and play really. Get off the video games Thank you for coming. I wish you great success with the book and You know where to find me anytime you want to come back. I would love to kinda just continues. I keep that in mind. I appreciate that very much. Okay thanks for coming to have a great day. Bye for now. Sydney occurred a thin for folks. The book is called confessions of a helmet. Free childhood Choice tails of an analog upbringing. It's a great look back at my generation. I think it's a great rate for anybody from any generation to kind of Reconnect with your Wonder years as comma. So that's our program for today. I hope you'll check out her book. Go to the website. Check out the book. It's also available at amazon and barnes and noble. You can look at a fair But just go to the website. You'll find right links directly So that's a program for today Tonight we have another Meet the author. Somebody else with three names. Everybody's got three lanes these days. It's your vip if you have three named your sip if you have only one name. That's super important person. I have to name. So i'm not that important anyway. Tonight will be gary paul cookman and he writes detective novels. This latest is Twelve south on pacific highway and so it should be an interesting program. I love mystery novel in all time. Detective mystery we'll get to talk to him at eight pm. I'm mad napoli for the minds of tv. Thanks for spending this hour hour and ten minutes or so with us today. And i hope you have a great day off around now around. Melissa listened to mrs.

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