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Kevin Fret, Openly Gay Latin Trap Artist, Shot Dead at 24
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414 Jake Hurwitz, Amir Blumenfeld, Brett Morris, Kevin Bartelt
Four. Three two. It's time for EPA sewed four fourteen of who charted the show where comedians discussed the top five songs and movies of the week is the middle of November. I'm your H, Michael Cray, Howard, Cray, or. What I don't know. What to say at that point? Yes. Our we gotta work on that ad copy. Right there. Copy. It's it's intro copy. Maybe if I go, I'm your H, Michael Cray. I'm here with start and Cav. Yeah. That sounds good. Feels good episode fourteen. They figured it out housekeeping. That is good because I was to blow that off. I'm H Michael Cray. I'm here with start and Cal. And then what would do is say that point? Yeah. Maybe then you go how we're. Okay. And we're with Howard. And then we just loop it. Well, this is a mess. I'm barest professionals in here where they haven't been introduced yet. But I'll tell you. I went to their patriarch page. I gotta ask him about it that thinks cook it we're trying they can't talk yet. Didn't introduce them. Keep bathing them into. I can only talk in Hebrew until you introduce me. I can count in Hebrew, okay Stein. Shallow sh- gannet. Hodge dime. Shut us is due to three Ken. Cannons only count two and three. Only ones. I. One. Well, no because I was reformed reform. I'll still reform. He really shouldn't be talking has been introduced. Sleep hop. Shush. I would always say sleek chef oh sorry now or excuse me. Right now, Ken. Okay. Yeah. I guess Hebrew gets through the sensors or something like that. Well, let's not waste any more time here. They are. They're comedians writers and actors, you know, them as the founders of the head gum podcast network their show. If I were you there show if I were to Jake and Amir. Type of fear. This this music now get into it. It's too loud. Even when it's quiet. It's too loud. For me. It's like impossible to play it. Softly. Yes. Yeah. So jarring an invasive at any volume. Size music, yelling a whisper. I went to the movies this weekend. I won't tell you to we get to the movies chart. What it was? But it was literally the loudest. Oh, have you beat? I have a movie that was so loud. I almost walked out that everybody loved. Well. Let me say. You got me. I watched this movie with ear plugs in and it was still rattling my skull. Okay. So I wonder if this movie is louder than the one I'm thinking of movie. Out a year and a half ago. I know what yours was what I think I know I can even pull one movie from last year. Yes. Last year loud movie. Was there a World War Two? Oh, dunkirk. There you go. Now. No, John wick to know. Okay. I wanna say louder, but I haven't seen either. Can't imagine a movie louder than the one. I said our seller. There's that there's not one the what I saw and I wear earplugs. All the time every movie. Yeah. This one took it or not. Wow. Why do they do that? I have no idea our brains are different shape than most people. I couldn't figure out how anyone could handle it. When it ends it. Just feels like such a relief. It was bad. Max, it was madman. That had to be crazy with you. And I said that was too loud. You said you walked out. I thought that I almost almost walked did we all left the theater, and that was the best awesome. I didn't like. That was too loud for me. I have tonight us. It was okay. Did you see Mad Max is the movie saw louder than Mad Max, it's well max was like a car scene with an electric tour? I'm trying to remember. I think I saw that in theaters. I don't remember. I saw an incredibly lab movie this weekend. I'm wondering one you is an incredibly loud in incredibly close. He sought to it was not saying right sanely overlord overlord Lord is so allowed leibel. It's basically World War Two they find out to some fishy alien aliens. But like, you know, supernatural medical I thought this was the Grinch movie. Back to the volume. This thing starts off with a like in the middle of an air battle where they gotta jump out of the plane. You know parachute. Yeah. Paratroopers? It was it was the most full Ambroise you've ever heard. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty it's pretty insane. It's a really good movie though. I mean, I loved it. I saw that. I it's really lower of it. And I stand by it. I only see about an hour of movies, the free passed so in and out in and out. Yeah. But I saw mid-nineties too. That was good. I our that. Now, I heard that movie was only like an hour long hour and a half. I still couldn't stick it out. A good one bring brought me back to the mid nineties as the running time to perfect that'd be good. If all movies were named after their running time. I liked that transparency. What was that movie? That was silent. Oh that was one thirty eight. Movie recently where like nobody was thinking. Yeah. Acquire play way to that. So that way. But you know, you would get used to a really low volume on that. And then somebody yells or something it could be a big spike like with overlord. It was so loud that I left the ear plugs in then I couldn't hear the dialogue. Out one plug, and then you're seeing the movie audio in ear. Maybe that's that'll be the next thing for these. Idioms kind of boring. It's kind of played out. Maybe they'll start mixing movies. I liked about time. All right. Well, let's get into it. We gotta music chart. That's right. I'll do a here we go. Back in the day. We played L peace tracks cassettes and see the now we download and we stream if you're a John let me hear you scream tunes tunes. Thank you. Do you guys? Do you guys wrap on your podcast not enough? We mostly free style weed trapping, you're reading which I don't wanna call you out. No reading I was I was off the top of the dope. Got your stereo. Yeah. Papers you can see that. Oh, so is just like to give yourself complete sensory deprivation could freestyle. Yes. Got you know, this is odd because somebody told me this story yesterday, which applies Gerard Carmichael. You know, him the stand up. Yeah. He brings a paper with them on stage. Just many stabbed ups do with the, you know, most stand ups have some jokes or written on there. All his says, keep going that's fun. Just keep going, and he doesn't show it to the crowd or make a joke out of it. It just gives him a chance to like take a breather. That's good. Oh, that's cool. I thought it was weird. Actually, it's actually a bit of his called keep going. So as a reminder. Yeah. Yeah. Bit. Yeah. Do keep close with that would make sense. I don't know. Why does it? And then someone interpreted, oh, it's koso-. He's pushing himself. Yeah. That's what the bits call. Yeah. Keep going. Hey, we've never had so many dudes at here. This is pretty crazy. We can do a boy bent out of this. We have the exact number. Your howie. I call Howie how he calls Howie. I too. It's too hot to claim Howie because I don't want to be the worst one who's the worst one. How he is the worst one J AJ's worsen. Howie are comparable is a bad. As how he's kind of the sweetheart. That's fine. There was I looked grease balls. I didn't have to grease balls. Yeah. I like Kevin. He's the tall one. Right. All right, Kevin, and Brian and Nick Carter was taller than Kevin. I would think I don't think so. Aaron Carter was weeded here. And let him know why? All right. What are we got this week down the top five from the billboard top two hundred. These are the songs from the most popular albums of the week. What if it was a top three hundred will we get the same five. Yeah. We should say the top two thousand. Yes. Give me the million. All right coming in at number five number five from the Carter five it's little Wayne with uproar. Get the fuck though. Komo scuff forward out of scuff up. Veal yesterday Halsey he scribbled something halls his arm. You guys hear about Lou Wayne and hall Z were at some show Saturday. I guess he scribbled something on her arm, and she got it immediately tattooed on and then ran out to do her performance. Okay. What did it say? Preview said forgiveness. I don't know. Why? That's so unlike halls -ly. What's her name Halsey awfully full name? We went to health school together. Like that doesn't like that at all. And I'm worried about hall's Li all fearless. And can you please reach out? Let us know Halsey. You're okay. I'm worried about you Halsey, we'll forgiveness you. We're filled with it. You guys know TAT's for you, gentlemen. Jake, Scott, a few you do have a butterfly tattoo on my forearm. I'm sorry. Everybody listening. Smashing pumpkins butterfly wings. It was a musical thing. When I was eighteen I had a Qatari that had butterflies all along the fret board. And I thought I was going to be a musician. So I was like, you know, what I'm gonna get started early. I'll get my tattoo now. And then I'll I'll be covered in cool tattoos. But this will be the first meaningful. One Rolling Stone will do profile on it out. You only got the one on there. Yeah. The one the one is it. For anybody listening. I took off my shirt and a huge Cobra on my back, which is way cooler that is cool. Well, I don't know the butterfly is. It's like where you gonna always use that same guitar that was the plan. Yeah. It was a love that guitar it did I it helped me with ladies in high school. But not since then so it wasn't really worth it. Do you still have the Qatar? I do still have the tire. It's good now that Instagram like people pay butterflies on wall and girls take pictures in front of it like the is that something. That's that's yeah. Instead of become a musician. I'm gonna do lean heavy into a butterfly thing. Gee, people just take Instagram self as in front of your wrist. Really small people when you say healthy with the ladies, what song would you actually play because I play guitar in high school. And I always felt like when I asked you had one of my hand it was like. What do you actually want to hear the answer is Wonderwall while I was gonna say wall wonder while the song, and it was more than words by extreme. I think if I picked up a tar today Wonderwall, I could probably like mess around on the risks of a couple of other ones, but wonder walls, still the only one I could just because of how I did it every single Friday at a campfire. Campfires at high school. Yeah. That was what we did in Connecticut. We just had bonfire parties. Oh, like not attached to the school. No. Yeah. That'd be that'd be losers that doesn't sound like a Connecticut thing to have a cool school so cool school school. With your like sleeves up during the bonfire. So people could see the tat. Oh, yeah. Yeah. With the with the left sleeve up playing. Yeah. Butterfly, butterfly tattoo, the butterfly guitar. Well, we're learning about the way pickup Connecticut. Let's talk to Amir about embarrassing stuff from his. Romeo. Hebrew school. No, I was the opposite of Romeo. Juliet. No, they were actually very similar. I studied Shakespeare lot. And I was at the school parties that nobody went to. He he Bruce. Shakespeare who would be the Hebrew. Shakespeare, maybe most Oz probably to mind as a Jewish writer. I was gonna say shel Silverstein. Oh, that's pretty good. All right verse. I'll change my answer. Okay. God god. Oh, what do you have a row? The goat code go greatest. God of all time. Let's see what sex number four number four from love me. Now, it's Torey lanes with talk to me. Sean. Doing this too. Yeah. You guys. Record your podcast in downtown LA. Correct. And you are doing very well on patriot. I gotta say that right before I left to come here. And I was like, hey, ho, whoa. What are these Doboy junior? God goal is to be junior junior. What have you ever thought of a tour with those guys or something we think about it all the time? They've never thought about it though. Think about his arby's stuff, French fries, and milkshakes or something. That is a little dangerous. Like, you know what I mean? It's not good to be eating that food all the time. Yeah. But they seem to pull it off. They only have to do it once a week, right? Yeah. So you can eat healthy during courage, others to be addicted to that Greece. Meet. Well, not necessarily because some of the poorly about some of them, they urged people from meeting discouraged there. Forget the name of it. But there was a place that they really really hated. Yeah. Maybe maybe it was blimpy's. I think there's something addictive about it. You know what? I mean, the food there. There's talking about food. Yeah. Because it's like they're not talking about kale. No. Yeah. Definitely not well, sometimes they tender greens and some healthy chain. Okay. I'd like to see more of that. Yeah. What do you do? You guys talk about stuff that you're purposely trying to sort of you know, what I mean? Yeah. Tach to the listeners, brain stem, get them addicted. We have a new maybe twenty episodes about cigarettes and how they're not that bad for you. That could be an example of. Yeah. I smoked three yesterday three cigarettes and you're still kicking. And I gotta tell you. I was in my car afterwards. Drive them. Anyway, I felt awful for about two hours. Yeah through. Yeah. Yeah. Actually never had a cigarette. Really? Yeah. I made you take a drag of one once. Yeah. It was not good. I don't know to me. It feels like I'm fixing my lips around a car exhaust fight. Felt like smoking marijuana coughing. I don't know if I have a sensitive throat, or if I never got past that phase right now what if if I started doing a podcast about how great cigarettes are like you had suggests that you're hired. You could be on a head of network tomorrow. Thank you. About anything though qualms? That's my rap name little qualms. Xiaomi qualms. All right. Why don't we see what's coming in at number three number three? It's ballots. One the album from Joji the song. Yeah. Right. He's rapping over kid or something. Yeah. Slow. This is this is what you would call Ambien rap. I guess when I heard the first like ten seconds of that's on. I was like, oh, what is music, and then the second ten fucking love this. This is great. What do you like about it? I liked the Ambien like kind of transient of it. That's yeah. It's so soothing. Doing anything to this? I could just like go for a nighttime drive to this like make is with somebody across a bar. But those are my favorite things to do. I could like work to this. I don't think I could actively listen to it. Yeah. I guess I I don't think I would like fold laundry listening to this. This is a sexy song Ambi, ripping insects like it'd be on MBA into this. Ambient only to sleep on long flights. Okay. Ever used it. Recreationally never fought. You know, I did that once and it wasn't fun at all fun to be drowsy. Yeah. It was very underwater. Like not able to get to the surface kind of thing. A couple times thing that I have you like really races your memory. Yeah. So you have no idea if you really had fun. And your girlfriend if she's on. It has no idea how much she did wrong than before. Reset. But every has no idea what you think you figure you have fun because he stayed up really late in like it feels like some weird dream. Nobody can really tell you. What happened? Yeah. Yes. Weird whether the effects on the brain. Didn't Roseanne claim Ambien for your Harambee and tweet. It doesn't make you racist. I've I've been I that I didn't suffer that side effect. All right. What's it? Number two. Number two. It's a star is born soundtrack lady Gaga with always remember us this way. This movie was too loud to tell you that right now see this movie. See this movie. Guitar. Probably probably trying to be. This was a great episode of Nashville the TV. Why wishing to movie, but people seem to be loving. Loving is. Where is is Cooper on the charts right now? Who's that? Brad. Bradley cooper. Oh, yes. It'd be from this move from from the soundtrack it makes lady Gaga, no stranger to this. But like a top song in the country is sung by Bradley Cooper that insane. And you know, he seem more like a rock show than she did. And she really is one. It was a lot going on in their good. He's a good actor. He's a good actor what about Streisand which have been better in this just bring her back as a older older lady? Well, that's good a stars reborn or something. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like this movie was made before nine eleven. Yeah. When people had a nicer view of the world, just like a fine movie. But like we have bigger fish to fry now. I'm with you. Yeah. About this. Another Batman need to take my mind shit, statement Cooper. But even like almost famous seemed to cover all this ground already. Do I thought? Yeah. I can I feel like I don't need to see the movie because I've seen the movie listening to that seven second clip. Yes. You actually right because I watched it, and there's not that many surprises you walked out after nine minutes. I saw this one twice. Wow. Parts artsy. I mean, I our second hour then second very piecemeal piece bills away to go. I mean, that's what Netflix has taught us, right? Yeah. That we can watch at our own pace the lesson of Netflix. Thank you that flicks. They pulled eleven dollars out of my count via stripe. Yeah. Every month. Right. Yep. So that today. Actively on their suspicious. I keep thinking that I should cancel these monthly fees that I should probably get rid of their service that just like aggregates all of them. Let's you like a debt consolidation. Unroll dot me shit. You pay like an HBO now or something? What about dollars a month? There's a Hulu. Yeah. Maybe a maybe some Brazzaville's I want. Yeah. 'cause there's browsers has like original content. But the also just licensed stuff, so you can watch NBC shows. I watch will and grace on browsers. Got some the relocation deals on that. It's like what was that? Oh, see so browsers has every Monty python? Okay. Good. Yeah. And they have. Jillian property. They do now. Okay. Good guy went to high school with we traded HBO and Amazon accounts. But the downside is anytime. He buy something. I get an Email, and we're like not really close friends anymore. So it's like a pocket knife is on the way out every time. He got this. So if if you saw a chainsaws on the way, do you check it or you go it's just that guy. Check the address I know I know it's going to him. But if you found that he was ordering some really shady shit like chainsaw. Goes dark web. Yeah. That's what I'm nervous about because I'm not really close at the many more. So I'm not looking forward to that. And our kids cookbook, she tried to lightly. Do it last year? I changed my password. And he was like, hey, dude. How's it going? Just the past. I can't like log in damage still should just give him back. We what is it? What do you HBO? That's pretty good. I know. But now he gave it to sister. And she's getting books for college. So I feel like I'm like now, I'm supporting their family, Mike, God, this is so bizarre wrapped up in deep. But you're paying for all the stuff that he's she's I get the Email every time they but they're using. Hey, that free shipping is that what it is. Really quick. Like, you can't turn off the Email for that. To my knowledge. I've tried. So what does he see you by Kev? That's the real recently watched. Yeah, he could see that. I got like a new face lotion or something. Pretty crazy Senlis lavender. What are you doing? What am I doing? I don't know something. I keep looking good. I don't I need to do more research check. Oh, what flavor you go? All right. Let's see what's coming in number one. This is shocking to me from C. It's Andrea Bocelli with fall on me. This is the top album in the world yet because at Christmas, I guess this guy always pops up around November to remind Christmas is around the corner. Are you? Are you guys looking for an early Homolka this year? Looking for. I'm looking for a December second Hannukah the early one. Yeah. Yeah. Get your stuff earlier get it out of the way. Okay. And then after like, I don't have to worry about the end of the December the Christmas thing. Allegations are done. Right on Christmas have my family's Christian. The other half is Jewish and like nobody's ever going home for Hanukkah, but I'm home already for Christmas. Right. So boom, I could not couple days. Hannukah the way. If I if I don't have the family celebrating that I forget that hannukah's happening. Really? Yeah. I always know my Hanukkah because I missed getting the gifts. And I missed the cookies my mom made. Yeah. Hannukah's stuff because you have like just eight days. You're you're more than tearing up here openly weeping. Christmas day. Everybody goes home for one day. Yeah. Christmas is by the way, three months at this point. It's weird to say that it's one day because I'm already seeing like Christmas ship. Chilies already topping. I mean, this is getting ridiculous at a certain point. It's going to start swallowing thanksgiving and Halloween, and then it's like September third Chris Grinch soundtrack again, it's like enough already. And the worst of all is Christmas in July. Don't know where that comes from. They want another one. Well, the you'll see like people dressing up like Santa and they're on the beaches. I think you're talking about an ambient trip. You had. Produce evidence. If I have all right? Well, I would like to see somebody thrown that guy. I know that Gwen stefani's putting out a Christmas album. Really? Yup. I think what's his name the kid. What's the good looking kid, but he acts like a worst since the sings the boob way? Yeah. I kid kid. I fifty eight. How are you? I'm a vampire of very old. All right. Well, we will be right back with the movies chart where we're going. Yo is this racist. Do you ever hear something and wonder to yourself? Hey was that racist each Wednesday, the show yoyo is this racist tries to answer that question. I'll tell you a little something right now. I know like if I happened I was born Jewish converted to MP three. But I was I was born Jewish and sometimes I'll mention it on stage. And a lot of times you get a real big laugh, especially if like the last word of the punchline is the word Jew. Oh, yeah. It's just a funny sound, plus there's a lot of anti-semites. You know, if you've watched her one hundred percent fresh with Adam Sandler, you know, we had that song about the anti-semites written by the keyboard player. But anyway, ladies and gentlemen, you gotta be careful. It's hosted by Andrew t and tawny new soem who you probably know from all your favorite your wolf shows, including who charted and each episode tawny. Andrew. Cover racism in recent news and pop culture and the answer burning questions from fans submitted voicemails about your maybe racist co workers, friends and family members. Their guests include huge range of actors writers and comedians like Jimmy o Yang from Silicon Valley and crazy rich Asians and who charted comedian, Nicole Byer who charted lavar Burton and John Lovett from pod save America. And this week they're releasing their one thousand episodes. That's right. One thousand to celebrate. There's an extra special episode with a ton of guests like Karl tart rea- butcher, and bore. You don't want to miss this one. Listen and subscribe to yo is this racist on apple podcasts. Stitcher and your favorite podcast app. I'm H Michael Cray. And I'm here with Amir Blumenfeld, and Jake Hurwitz, and Brad Morris and Kef Bartell, and this is the movies chart. They're just like tweet. Release them constantly. Them. We don't need to see when you're getting a good one. That's it movie. That's good. Thanks. Tweet. They are. Right. Yeah. Hundred and forty characters and some. I'm glad they didn't make movies longer this past year. Thank you for longer movies. You could love them. Really? Yeah. What are you Doug pension over their shit? What else do I don't it? Don't. Let's keep going. You get tired of sitting there. Exactly what I want. Exactly, I love you have them on the ropes get them. You wouldn't want to like? Albums. I gotta listen to listen to music. Your dream. Mission. I'm trying. Wait a second. Rockstar getting laid in high school with music late. I said I did well with the ladies. Okay. Well, the what did you mean by that first base? Second base. This. That's pretty good for high school junior. Yeah. I mean, I was too scared even Kisa girl. She was my girlfriend. I've just walk around hands with her. And this is last week last week, you're in a Santa suit Santa con. Let's get into this. All right. So we're mixing it up. We're going to talk about the highest grossing American sport films of all time. Now, you guys. Yes. Yeah. Can we do some guessing sure guess one? But if it's on there, I'm not gonna tell you. So. Let's let's just here ahead of time. Prognosticate? Okay. So I will guess that number one is rocky assuming boxing is a sport. Of course sport is rocky on the list. I will tell you this right now, you must be referring to which rocky. The original. Now that you asked me because the sequels are more successful than the first creed. He says creed you say to that's not on the list. I'm sorry. But you're in you're in the neighborhood interesting. What is your favorite of all time Space Jam Space Jam tell you this. I've never seen Space Jam. Do you want them to reboot? It. Oh, hell, yeah. I believe in LeBron is he's the goat. Here's the goat athlete and actor greatest actor of all time you go to the use any of those UCB readings of Space Jam with Blake Griffin. No, I did not. But that's awesome. You wanna three hour remake of space. That's longer than a basketball game. You watch a whole Jordan game. Think space. You might be number one. I remember reading something maybe the number one basketball movie of all time. All right. Well, we're about to find out. Let's dig into it. What's number five? Kef. Rocky three. Oh. Three after winning the alternate title. And being the world champion rocky falls into a ho and finds himself picked up by a former enemy, which is we know clubber Lang, right or is it Apollo cluber? Mr. T, Mr. T, clubber Lang, I train alone. I live alone. What did he say paper champion saw three billion? Ever thought three is three. Fours, Ivan drag its Apollo Apollo cluber, Ivan Drago, Tommy gun. Wow. Kevin watch these religiously as a kid, really. Not very tough. Wow. Didn't inspire me? Join the arts. Leader speaking, not tough and mall. That did anybody see that Morrissey attack? Morsi got attacked on stage. Who? Halsey bikini top lots of I don't know. This is the footage was grainy. But it was somebody ran out there. I'm wondering like was because Morris, he's pro Brexit. So maybe it was like a a liberal English person or something could be very unlikely. Yeah. Being that aggressive at a maybe he has fallen could be. Yeah. Our boss. He has a lot of controversial takes too. Morrissey. Yeah. Let's see other words he's pretty like he said some pretty racist things. Sure. He's been pretty pro Weinstein like not having good takes in the metoo movement. So like, not even controversial just wrong. He's like. Too hard on them. I got asked to join a Morrissey cover band a couple months ago, and I walked in. And then was like kind of doing more research about him. And was like, hey, guys. I'm out and then what did not go over? Well. Yeah. Most people just blow off the addition. Yes, showed up and was like reading. It was a little awkward. Don't want this. But yeah, take in Morrissey tribute dishes before, you know, much about more. That's another gas for top movie. Let's hear it major league to that is a great movie major league to setting set in the what is that the fifties forty-seven baseball. I don't see it on here. What about the real sports guys? What your team a real sports on the Laker fan? Laker Rams fan. No. I'm not football. I grew up a raiders fan. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Gotcha. I'm Yankees fan. That's probably my main sports team. I used to be a patriots fan. But now, I because you guys in Connecticut continues whether you what Boston teams are New York too. Yeah. Yeah. It was easy choice back then we'll also because New England Patriots sort of. Encompassed Connecticut too, right? I think of New England when you say Connecticut. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I was trying to I almost started telling you off Mike when I was a real little kid before Giants Stadium was built they they they played at Shaef, you know, and then like for one year or two years, they it at the Yale bowl in Connecticut. Yeah. Like was super little kid and remember going up there to watch giants game. Wow. What year was that? Because it was in the seventies somewhere. Damn. Damn. That's really cool. I went to Yale Harvard games at that that place. It's it was always crazy. Yeah. It's like a cool like intimate kind of stadium yet. Really fun. You likes the Lakers. Tone of the answer is I do like seeing the lakes important games playoffs championship. Yeah. I went to Lakers Celtics finals game at Boston Garden when I was living New York. That's cool. Yeah. Lakers lost. I saw Lakers. Magic in Orlando, which was probably the most important Laker victory. I saw live Derek Fisher. Okay. Hit like a three to send the game to overtime. The Lakers want to take a three oh in that series. And then they were they the magic came back for three right? Yes. That is the fan fiction. You wrote oh, actually a three one lead that that point we won four to one that would be. So if the fan fiction, you wrote was just sports team. Orlando. And then the magic went on to repeat, right? The next year. They took down navarine check left. The and they got good. Orlando doesn't have much going for them think they got the they got a team the Orlando Magic. Yeah. Yeah. They have one professional sports team down there. That's it. All they need like dog racing or something. Yeah. I'm really big into that as well. That's actually. Movie air bud could be on the list. Airbud golden retriever. What is it golden receiver golden receiver coming in at number four number four real steel? Wow. Speaking loud movies, docs, crazy Lau, two yet. Hugh Jackman manager of robot, boxers how this is a big movie world number four of all time, worldwide gross three hundred million. This is a great sport. You guys don't think there should be a movie about it. This is the top two of the top five so far boxing coach a robot building, he builds them or some little kids something I always see it in cable, and it's like avatar style or like he's boxing in the robots box. I love action movies you'd like that one. Seems like you're not to two hours. Just need something to do. I seriously can't believe this is top five. Yeah. Yes grossing. Yeah. That's real still beats any rocky movie. Perhaps we don't know what the top three are. Where does it? What we're where's the money? Come from. Yeah. This is probably like four and. Yeah. Chinese dollars. Yeah. We shouldn't. And there's like even Dakota Goyo is one of the stars second billing who's raise your hand. If you've heard of that, nobody that tells you foreign money, right, right? Like, the Meg did you see any of that? Now. I went to see I couldn't even get through the first hour. I twenty minutes big shark Levy, did you see the big shark? They even show the shark while we were there. No like overlord got it. Right. Because they start right in the middle of some action. Right. The people from the Meg needed to see that. I mean, I waited a couple of months. Yeah. It was like a half hour before anything happened at all. But so a lot of the leads were, you know? You tell that like English wasn't their first language. Yeah. And there wasn't a lot of like that's not the market thereafter. Yeah. But they weren't pop and they were like boring people you never heard of. Yeah. Well, good luck would love to see real still to. It's about time. Okay. What's coming in at number three? I think Amir is going to be very happy with this. Rocky four. Wow. Another Ocoee movie. There. It is trial though, a six foot four. Why did they give his weight two hundred sixty one pound fighter? Damn gronk. And he's got the backing of the Soviet Union. This is what creed to is going to be about. Oh, really? That's cool. I did not like Crete as much as the normal human. I love create either. Yeah. Yeah. The movie, right? Not the guy the movie, what's he was running those bikes through the neighborhood in the morning. I thought I can't root for that guy. Too many regular folks who are piece of euro. Dolph Lundgren, right? Yeah. Doesn't he have like a he'll like a Rhode scholar or something is he? Yeah. He's a genius dolphin fan fiction. Iraqi behind the scenes fan fiction and then. Then he went on to get a PHD. All right. What's it to number two? It's the blindside. Wow. Oh. Is this about idea? There's the big deal just for one night. Best idea you. This is kind of the star is born for sports. She won an Oscar off this left. Tackle is born. He's been enrolled in institutions the electricity between these two was palpable is the guy is still playing Robert ory is that who it was. Laker. Yeah. Michael oher, Gloria's, Robert ory. That's a different worst movie. He was just raised in a normal home. No, adoptive parents. You guys do your show downtown LA. Do you make it over the Staples? After shows and stuff. Yeah. Like, I said I like watching the Lakers. I. There is a time when we were going to a lot of clippers games when I first moved out here in the clippers were still fun to watch agent used to get us tickets to these games. And now, I feel like the Lakers are popular. I can't even get I can't get tickets through him anymore. It's tough till they stink again. That's how I got to go to a game a bunch of games through the agents and the managers. Yeah. Have those stop for you as well? Well, yeah. Because you know, what it is. It's like the same as meals with them after you're not that hungry anymore. You've been in town for a while you realize like I could just eat on my own, and I wouldn't have to talk to these guys. You know, they're not. They're not they're they're a little, you know, they're nuts and bolts. That's the agents. That's how they feel about me. And amir. They're making money. They don't need to put up with you anymore. Yeah. Exactly. How you guys feeling about? Lebron? You pro pro LeBron really. Very excited. I hated the Lakers, and I love LeBron. But now my love for Braun has trumped my hatred for the Lakers Laker fan. Wow. So Bronwyn, I think is the best. What about Lonzo? Is he going to be around? He's going to be around for now for sure, but he's kind of losing minutes to raise on Rondo Rondo ball, who's going to be around longer Rondo or Lonzo Lonzo I think he's younger Rondos on a one year deal. But LeBron loves Rondo so maybe LeBron will pick and choose his teammates. Like, he always does being diplomatic because he just like all the Lakers, or would you be a little happy? If Lonzo got traded. It depends on who we get back from. Right. And. What about the dad is he bothering you? Or you don't even care. Lavar has been very quiet this year. Yeah. Yeah. Probably last big outburst. And then and then he he got quiet. There's something that ended in them. He took his high school or to Lithuania. That was a big one. Yeah. But then he realized not a lot of cameras were in Lithuania. Now, the kid is back playing basketball in Ohio. I think right. But I mean, do you think like when they made the trade for LeBron? Yeah. They said like look one of the contingencies as you just stay out of the way. Yeah. I don't know. It seems like that would only AIG even further. It seems like he was naturally starting to go away even before LeBron. All the air out of the room for him. Probably. Yeah. Yeah. Big deal. But he could say like because he challenged Michael, Jordan. You could save LeBron could beat you lavar p too early because then he started saying stuff like I could be Michael Jordan. Okay. So you'll say anything, right? So we know under care. Should've paced himself. He could have peaked when LeBron came it would've been nice if they have not. I have not. Yeah. Yeah. A Cy dual climax LeBron taking lavar in on his shoulders. Is there a fan fiction again in any both joined the Orlando Magic. Oh god. Can you imagine? This thing is just dove tailing together. Well, we burn through all Araki's. Unfortunately, we burn through our boxing where number one number one. What do you think just give me an area? Don't even give me the name of the movie just give me the sport. I'll say football. And I think it's can I say what I think it is you're wrong. But okay. Remember the titans? That's correct. Because it's not just about football. It's about race relations fifties and sixties. I'll say Space Jam because I think I read somewhere that's based John was the number one sports movies all the time. And I couldn't believe it. Well, it might be. I don't know where did this come from. I'm not sure. Magazine. Updated in nineteen eighty nine. All right. Well, let's see this martial arts. If I said, it's martial arts. Karate kid which was. Smith one there. It is commutes Roddy kid, Kevin what's number one karate kid from the originally. No original twenty ten all right long play the trailer from the original. So we can reflect it three hundred fifty nine million worldwide gross Brody is very proud of being from the valley of karate kid, or are you that way to Amir? I'm proud from the valley, but not necessarily because of karate, but does. The big one. That was an exciting movie for the when you look at valley culture. What are your top touchdowns? Ooh. What was his ambi- movie that was shot in the Sherman oaks Galleria? That was a big one for us. Oh, you know, what Terminator two the arcade? See? And in the beginning was shot at the Sherman oaks gallery. Okay. That's big. That's a good one. The this is the Galleria the previous Gallup's, right? The indoor Galleria because that's gone, right? Yeah. Well, they sort of have now it's like an indoor outdoor mall slash movie. I went there, you know with childhood memories. You hear about the Galleria valley, girl and all that. Yeah. And I was very disappointed. Sorry to hear that they had a in me. Lost. But I guess like. You know valley girl. Yeah. Valley girls a big one. I think it's Donna the dead or some movie that takes place entirely in a mall in the valley. Okay. But I forget Terminator two Greece. I think those car racing team scenes in the river valley, and like you said Encino, man. It's a big one or as they called it in Israel, California. Man. Did they really they did are you there when it was playing? I rented it is Isreaeli blockbuster. Blister knows actually called time out. Do you? Remember mcdavid is still there. Make David is not. But boobs on is the burger ranch instead of Burger King. David McDonald's ended up coming in and killing all the mcdavid. I would think so. Yeah. But yeah. Back in the eighties. Dave is popular spot. Yeah. You know, you'd get a newspaper to find out. What's going on in America? That's right preseason David even name this that up. David. It's like I went to Mexico, and they had spader, man toys. Loopholes. Yeah. I love one countries have different names for movies. Yeah. I went to Italy like three years ago, and they saw my ID and they're like, oh, Kevin like help us. We've lost our son the baby. Boy, I was like what am I sister? Guessed it like are you talking about home awhile? She's like, yeah. That's what it's called like help. We've lost our son. Just totally changing the name. It's like how YouTube videos are now titled they just like try to pull an interesting quote from the video to make the title of the video more people click on it. That's what they were doing back in Italy sneaky in the nineties my back to the football. My dad was at the game where Rudy like the big game at the end in. So he is he always tells people he's into movie Rudy people like freak out. And he's like, yeah. I was at the I was at the game where did they shoot that was that actually in south bend Notre Dame in Notre Dame? I think so he he was at the game. And they're like oh for ten minutes. We're just gonna shoot this quick thing. It's for this movie. Oh, cool. But to this day people are like, oh my God. Yeah. I thought you were saying there was a real game. The movie was based on that. He was at that game. No. They were they when they filmed it it was like same thing with like this star is born. They're like, hey, we're going to film this live. Yeah. So like, I guess did something for ten minutes, but they have like a big camera shot of the whole audience. And he's like, yeah. I'm there. I'm in the movie, that's me. I'm in a sports movie, then too. I was an extra is in real steel. The what was the the movie where deniro was a pitcher of the net. The something something the problem, or there was someone was going to try to kill the pitcher that Wesley Snipes. We just either go down to Anaheim stadium and just sit there all day, and then they go now we're gonna shoot it out field seed, everybody moved to the outfield bleachers. It was it was a horrific dead blocked out most of it the drums slowly, no it's the fan the fan fan. Did you ever see ever have? I might have rented that one from these really Starbucks. Remember, some old guys that were extras next to me bad mouth and Woody Allen movies the whole day when it was before any of the sexual Versi or anything. Was making great movies and really angry. They got the last laugh out right now. They're fans of is. Yeah. He turned it around that. Quick break. Let's take a break. And we'll be right back with the hot picks. Pud swag is your one stop shop for podcast, merch, like mugs pins posters. Hoodies and more courtesy of all your favorite podcasts. And most importantly, it's the best place to get who charted shirts from November fourteenth my nephew's birthday to dove, amber twenty-first. So when you knows birthday, you can get thirty percent off the entire who charted. Wow. Kev, the entire who charted collection with the code charts pods wake dot com charted dog. So they can get eighty t-shirt thirty percent off. Yeah. Interesting interesting. That's pots wag dot com slash charted code charts for thirty percent off thirty percent off a healthy discount gang, and you can get into a great who charted shirt, and I'll tell you a great conversation piece. It's not like a, you know, you might see. Lavar Burton reads, you know, what that is. No one's gonna ask you what that is. No one's gonna ask you about bang bang. It's massive. But who charted what's that all about? And all the sudden you've got an opening line. And you're on your way to lease Ville. Bang nation bang nation. And that's that's wack. Picks. Picks. The third job is a hot fix the countdown about the start. Let's see you pick. And let's see did not. Fix. Vicks. I gotta say that theme seems like slower BPM's every week. Yeah. That's not. Say life is just moving faster is true. Got fires. We got political firestorms. Yeah. Lebron's LA, right sport. Fires those clippers. They lost that playoff game. There was supposed to win. And now they trash franchise against you know, they're out playing their expectations record than the Lakers. Yeah. Would not much superstar talent. Wow. Not the last. Right. I don't know. They're scrappy bunch, and they're they're winning games. A mayor. Would you like to make this prediction, and we'll see comes true in may? Yes, you're saying that the clippers could have a better record than the Lakers. They could. Yes, I would be shocked. But I don't think it's zero percent possibility. Hammer of Telhami. Fool. This is sports radio weei. Just me. Okay. These are the hot picks. We curate this chart. We tell you what these good songs are. We don't wait for sales. All right. Let's see what's coming in at number five number five. It's how he's pick little peep with sex with my axe. For the. Jake. I think you would like to sell them. It's all soothing like this like every track sounds like this. I picked to show randomly because they all sound like this. That's great. Yeah. Of course, we lost. We lost a little peep this past year. And if you listen to this album, you will be a suicide risk or a death risk is. Well, it's very depressing. He tackles a lot of intense subject matter to him. I'm old. Damn daniel. I'm sorry to hear that sounds like a creed riff or something in the background. It's. Yeah. Blend of of. Oh, yeah. Good amid it is. It was man. Shooting. Or even that guy still around and gone. Life isn't fair cheddar huggers winning. All right. Well, I wasn't. I don't stand behind that one a lot. But I figured we lost peop-. Let's let's throw him on the counter. That's nice or let's see people. All right peop- like that. I got all right peop-. All right. Let's see if anyone could top that. All right coming in at number four four four. It's Amir's pick Travis Scott with sickle. To countdown. Maybe no. When is my Donald product. That's just Saudi knows. You don't know about the now. That will take the telephone. Yeah. Keep it going little bit. Complete inching you to pick and roll. Well, it's a new song within the song this this this out goes. Which one do you like better? That's the best part. That's the best part. This is Travis Scott. Compl- related to the drink part. And then after this like three minute chunk. It goes back to Drake. You don't think the Sean veers off course, we just did a preemie stream our other char we did about psalm said start one way and then lose the plot. And go into a whole new song. I think they're embracing a completely different song within a song. It's like an Oreo or. Okay corn dog. Okay. Yeah. But couldn't it also be considered like a blister on a foot, of course. And that's why I now eight it. But this is the and they don't they never wrapped together. It seems like all Drake then Travis got for three minutes. And then it goes back to Drake again. I say, oh, I'd like to see some interplay like EPSN EPS, they'd go back and forth. It wasn't like you do your thing. I'll come in next week. I'll do mine on you know, I like when they mix it up. Yeah. It's like when they brought arrested development back, and they couldn't get them on the. Yeah. Room at the same time. That's right. That's why I had the boycott. The song. Arrested. Okay. Sure. Looking number three. That's a pretty good pick. I liked it. And it's got a great song. Rattled psalms one. That do that. Like, I have anything recently changes. Yeah. Daily, but whatever this research. So it sounds like Drake's about to start wrapping. And then it just ends actually just told them they paid them for a full verse. And they just cut it off. But then they come back to them. Paid him for the full. Yeah. Hey, we gotta get our money's worth spit. A few more. All right. Let's head number three. It's Jake's pick Cardi B with like it. Thank dotty. That's a couple of the coupe. No bicker. That's hard as k b. Fix. Coty Fundus select corio g put this to you jacomb here. She the most talented reality show person of all time letter than flava flav for sure really played. It was great. But does before the reality show, Harry we counted celebrity apprentice because might be most more successful as the leader of the free world sort of. Yes. Well, technicalities his Blake there. Yeah. I don't I run this shit like cardio. That's a really good. Uh-huh. Josh has to hate her. Right. Oh, absolutely. She's a first challenger. She's had in her whole entire rain. But it sounds like she's doing Nicki Minaj impression has a little bit of a little bit. I think she I think she brings her own thing too. Which is what makes her a fierce competitors? There's like two female rap rappers. And there's a thousand guy rapper all of them. They on the same to you just a sex just called you sexist. I can hear the hinting at it on. You are not a sexist of Cardi B shows her voice based on Nicki Manashe. Maybe she was an influence because she lived in New York. She heard it all the time. Maybe so, but but I do think that she's not just a straight up impression you could. I could tell the difference. I could tell what Cardi Briggs she has a more Latin obviously. But also her lyrics. What's the other one? She's a she's a better writer. She's a better writer like her stuff is more immediate. And it's more about actual real things years a lot of Nikki's during characters he's doing a lot of like type of rap. She's just like you could tell us not about anything real. I'm the Queen bitch. And then mean this. It's like it's a Muffin or something. Yeah. Exactly. No. Oh, I remember. When weirdly silent after you went too far. I was picturing it. Unwrap fair though that is good writing. Yeah. Hell. And made all of us think deeply I love any type of Muffin writing fiction. All right. Let's see. All right. What's coming in at number two. Number two. It's my pick white denim with performance. We often. Bet they live right here on caves wrote up telling you, I know from the the twin ju what they're doing. They're southeast Austin, south west. See now when I brought white men before they were our slammed because they they sounded like t Rex in that song. This is the same lint nothing like directions, slam still sure the sound like. This one's a little. Steve Miller had a head injury. Yes. Brilliance lamb. He does a good band. They have a little bring a little too much of the noodling Lowell jam bandy. But it did bring some variety to the chart. They have a song that starts with the solo made me think bream strain. Oh, yeah. All right. All right. All right. Number two coming at number one number one Brett's pick. What do you got? Okay. I got a Nico case with last line of Albion. This interesting stuff going on behind her voice. That's really cool. So. Great. Thank you. That's very good. I know people that people that are nego case fans, die hard Nico ks fans. Oh for sure she's coming here before she recorded her. Well, Joe is it was it based on a few. Yeah. Wow. Jeez. Just going to sniff. No kidding. Hey, you guys go to the crushes on any new Artis any Li any whatever a female artist crush if you. Yeah. Other than Nico case other than Decaux shit. I I I still have a crush on Cardi B, and that singer from churches, oh, they were also near weeks ago. She had a crush on that lady for a long time. What about the Muffin? Nobody's going for Katy Perry and nobody's going for teeth with Todd. I'm over that. No, they're retired. And we're looking to get wired. Oh, so they're not they're not current and mine answer is Shinto Connor. Because the truth to me berry. This is that the same band as what we just heard. No, okay there who is that is it like. Is it like monsters of men or something? Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Of monsters of monsters and men, that's what it the ice Landik band. Well, I'm gonna have to pick a winner on this. For once thought mine. Be the last one. I'll pick it. Yeah. Yes. I don't wanna slide our guests. But I am going to pick Nico case. Thank you. And you would like the lyrics to about animals getting revenge on humans like to. Yeah. I. What did we do to them? TV left at giraffe to burn up alive in the fire. Was there a giraffe died? Outer oh, there's like a big thing raft. It was stranded at a zoo in Malibu. Wines. Oh, the winery they took all their expensive cars, they made sure to get those out of the way around. The horses and all the animals super fucked up, but they survived I know horses horses down up there. Yeah. Some people just brought their donkeys like to the beach and just let Packers and stuff just like leashed up on the beach because they didn't know where to put a finger. Figured it was like fairly safe there. Yeah. Sands not gonna burn. What if it gets hot in the sun? If the tide rises than sharks, the donkeys you saw the Magar. Yeah. Twenty fire mental disasters. All right. I need another prediction from you. How many squirrels though when they when all the fires gone. How many how many char broiled squirrels will they find all say two per acre hundred thousand pleasure thousand two hundred two hundred squirrels two hundred thousand two thousand four hundred fifty three squirrels. Okay. That's your girls over under under I'll go under nineteen squirrels. How many squirrels that was seven hundred guesses. Well, of course, you guys do a great show, and you've got your patriarch page. We're people find your stuff though, head gum dot com is all of our podcast. Not just me. Jake. We got a lot of funny comedians with a lot of funny shows. So I think there's something for everybody at had dot com. And the females on your roster. No, we gotta get one. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yes. Of course, we have females are, Mr.. Yeah. We have Betsy Sadahro and MARCY Jinro. I've funny feeling we have meal who's does show punch-up jam with Demi lady Lovin is all lady hosts diverse ir truly. Yeah. Nicole buyer is a strong African American lady hosts she has want date me. Okay. So check out. There's there's got to be a show for everybody. And Jacob has a dungeons and dragons show, Jake. How could you? Yeah. I'm sorry. I wasn't going to say anything. What about third pokers at your competition who they play dungeons and dragons what the is not like magic the say. Yeah. I guess not formidable competition if you've never heard of it you just pulled. I don't I don't even think about you. I don't think about you at all. They're buddying us. What's the name of that show? Six sided die. It's called not another DND podcast. Do we are aware of all of the competition? That's right. All right. And what about social media? Do you want to send anybody over there? Yeah. My name is Jay Kerr with everything you could just Google me and follow me. Yeah. And then once you're at Jake's place, you'll see pictures of me. And then. Yeah. So Jake her with Instagram. My last post is probably a mere tag. You guys are tied together and the online universe and give me double tap. I will follow back for every follow. And I will unlike forever, delight and leave a comment and share because. Talking about. I'm saying unlike for delight because that's shows up and you actively page and everything drums up support. And then we can get to the explorative together between on like and be like, so when you unlike something, you're basically liking it twice when you d like, it's when you click on the heart and then click on the heart itself, and I guess it tricks the algorithm to think that it's like a new unique lake because it's only counting the times you like do you click on the like, or do you double tap on a postal like it, right, right tap? I know sorry. What post your? Should I go to my own posts and click on an off on that harder to turn on my notifications? When I post you get a push on your phone, Hugh push. Yeah. I so sick GM me you're such a small man smash smash smash that like the m me and follow for follow for for every five follows. I was so sick. D like for. All right. Let's. All right. Let's get. Let's get his numbers up even higher. We're going to have them back in may so long. Yeah. And clippers. Yeah. All my followers are bought s-. I should say purchase. Like, wait about gay trian, those bouts they they're paying great dot com slash j for. We have a few shows on their podcast footage watching old videos giving commentary. So how long have have you had a on page about a month? Yeah. That's it. Yeah. So are you gonna be happy with that subscriber number? Yeah, we're happy. But we are thirst for more is unquenchable if anything we're sadder now than before we had a patriotic. Because now that number just represents the small small fraction of society. That's giving us cash. Right. So we need that number to be like it says four thousand but what I want is four billion g when I see stuff like the fire in the news. It doesn't phase me because it doesn't affect me chasing tonight. Johnny cash off four billion four billion satisfy you. You know, five four billion just want more. Game. Yeah. Until I fucking own you. Already. That's easy. That's awesome. Let me borrow a hundred bucks deal that's twenty patrons at a delight for like. What's your craziest? Patriots somebody giving you a hundred bucks. No about one hundred people at the highest tier which is twenty four ninety nine a month. But one person is giving us twenty five sixty seven or something like that just to be a cut above the rest pushed it up a little. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's a beautiful way for artists to make money. Okay. Has been a patriot. Check it up. But you can check out my stuff on the where can they find it? Howard, Kremer dot com. Howard, Kremer dot com. Over to have a summer dot com. You can pick up Austin stories DVD there on EBay. Thanks to John. It's John clue who just bought one. And also check out my songs on tunes and Bank camp. There's three new dragon boy suede bangers coming at you real soon hanging cheek Vichy swabs and crop circles. They've all been tested in. They're all baggers. So check that out. We'll be adding to the dragon boy suede cannon love the titles. They're great checkout. Hey, gang. My other solo podcast on soundcloud and checkout. Pre stream by our T shirts on pod swag. And we will see you right here next week on who charted. Join me writer producer and actor Jon Levinstein as I reflect on my life in show business at John Levinstein retirement party out here memories rehash old decisions and resolve disputes while creating new ones me and my co host Mary Kobe. He revisit the wildest moments of my career with the help of old friends from arrested development, the John Larroquette show Kroll show and Portland yet. You'll hear from Kate Burlington John Early Karen kilkare if you'll salloway Nick Crowe and Tompkins the list goes on and on John Levinstein retirement party is out now. Subscribe now in Stitcher, apple podcasts or wherever you listen.
Aired 2 months ago 73:35
Mish-Mosh Mash-up: Ep. 157
Are you looking for that perfect holiday gift for that curious kid on your list, even the subscription to little passports each month? They'll get a fun filled package delivered right to their door hacked with hands on activities interactive projects and unique souvenirs designed to spark their Cheerios about geography world cultures or science, my kids got little passports and having torn open the packages. They've said dad win is the next little passport coming. It's the perfect gift for kids of all ages. Order today at little passports dot com slash unorthodox. Hey, J crew. It's Mark year. The last episode a lot of you've heard was the one live from squirrel hill. And we were so moved by the responses that we got from all of you. We were so pleased to have been able to be in squirrel hill with you and for you. But in order to accommodate that episode. We had to move around a lot of stuff. The first thing to say is that we had this great superstition themed episode plan for the week of Halloween, which we had to move around for obvious reasons. So we're going to run that sometime in the near future. But then the other thing is we recorded a show at the Manhattan JC in that sorta got bumped. So what we've done for this week is pulled together a bit of a Franken episode. It's got all the constituent parts, but it's not quite normal episode. You'll hear news of the Jews from the Mandel JC see where we did a live in Cleveland Justice week, then you'll hear a Jew of the week interview. With Gary shine guard, the novelist who came to the tablet office a couple of weeks ago to talk about taking a greyhound bus for weeks on end across the country to research. His new novel lake success are gentile of the week is Kevin Allison was. Our guest at the Manhattan JC. So that's where that interviews from. And then we'll go back to the Cleveland show for mazal tops and all that stuff at the end. So few we all hope things returned to normal in America and on our show. In the meantime, have a good, listen, I'm s for grants, and I'm so excited that you all are here with us in Cleveland. I've been waiting for you to be here since the first episode ever broadcast. But sometimes things get a little out of hand and people get very emotional and words may fly out of their mouths, especially Leo. And so just so we're all aware you might hear some things that you don't normally hear. And this is your obscenity warning. This is the universe is leading Jewish podcast. We are live at the Mandel JC in beautiful Cleveland, Ohio. I end your host Mark Oppenheimer joined this week as many weeks by tablet deputy editor Stephanie Budnick. Hello. Oh, thank you. And habits senior writer, Leo, leave of Shalom Cleveland Cleveland. By the way, this the J or the JC. Either one this has been controversial in our show. So they hands do J razor end, and then JC roughly really pretty even JC. Okay. I'm just gonna that's what I'm gonna do. Four. Like, these are the things that keep you. My obsessions Europe sessions are like Zionism marks the future of the world and minor is why are they saying what sort of rebranding effort persuaded people scratch in his that got a contract before you any further. I do want to say that. As you might have heard. It's been a rough week in news of the Jews or a rough ten days. And I wanted to say that some of you have heard our last episode. You know that Leon Stephanie did what what journalists do which is they went to where the news was. And they went to they were in squirrel hill. Pittsburgh what thirty six hours after the shootings there, and they did along with our producer cross. And a lot of other behind the scenes people did the the real labor on putting out a really really beautiful episode. So I know they've been through a lot. I know that all of us have been through a lot and and that hovers over over all of us in the room. My rabbi sent out a message saying kind of with the headline sent to the whole country. You know, what should we do? And he said well among other things this week when you're in Schule, we have in the conservative playbook. We have a prayer for peace, and he said this week when you say the prayer for peace try to mean it, you know, pay attention to the words. So we've all dealt in our own ways. But one of the ways that Jews deal I like to think is by coming together in solidarity being with each other showing that we survive and having some joy and having some fun. So we honor the victims we honor recent current events and one way that we honor them by having like the best live show in the history of Cleveland in a town that has the rock and Roll Hall of fame. We're gonna show you what rock and roll is actually about. So thank you know. It's interesting. We've had this this show in the books for a while. But after everything that happened last week, I was thinking I'm so excited to to get here. And just be with you guys. And to sort of be in person. You know, we record this episode a lot these this podcast a lot in a studio by ourselves, and it is really special for us, especially in light of everything that happened to be in a room with you guys old listeners new listeners just community. Absolutely. Thank you one hundred percent juice side. So the first thing I needed to do when I got to Cleveland. Was deal with something. We talked about on the show about a year and a half ago. I'm not sure how familiar you guys are with bagel gate something very painful to north docks bagel gate about a year. And I don't even it was a Passover episode. We did about it was a bagel show. We thought we would that be before Passover to show about bagels. We had this idea that we would feature this like up incoming coming bagel company in Cleveland, the Cleveland bagel company, which was started by non Jews. We thought it was kind of funny because we think of bagels so Jewish people in Cleveland. Sorry, Jews in Cleveland, did not like that. No. They said we have a very rich and varied Jewish food scene here, and you did not capture it. Well. Hall for a few weeks. We really understood how someone Rushdie must have fell after he wrote that book people like you don't dare cross the line, they'll hire because we will find you. You big capitalists, you we actually we we thought. Well, there goes alive show ever happening in Cleveland. They will never listen to Cleveland. So the first thing we did we dropped our bags and Mark, and I headed to Jack's thelhi to meet some listeners, Ben Becker and Gilman. Thank you. There's been. Culpa teach us the teachers the air of our ways feed us, the Cleveland food, and we ate a lot of eight a lot of Delhi. And then we learned we learned Bialy is there's there's the bagel shop with a PP copy. Yep. We've tried them all in our back. Stay in our in our green room. Yep. And so we just wanna say we're sorry. You're not for not doing a show specifically. So some news the Jews that doesn't have to do with us. First of all couple quick bites things that maybe don't that don't deserve a full conversation. But, but but must be mentioned actress Jewish actress Zoe Kravitz is engaged to the partly Jewish. Carl Glossman muzzles muzzles to care. Kloss conversion conversion with a K. I think like every other celebrity wedding. They knew I think this is the year of the Jewish, weddings. Also, a news of the Jews some of you listen to our show. Remember, the sperm Nater? Ari Nagel forty three years old the one who was fathered thirty nine children as a sperm donor occasionally passing sperm in a Cup to women who meet him in a target bathroom. They don't meet in the target Athen. They meet outside the target athem. The hand off his outside the target bathroom. It goes into the bathroom. Don't make back out. It's not only target. Sometimes it's wal mart or burger very class holes for. Anyway, we have reached the end of the story. I think because he is now in Israel endorsing a male fertility drug called sperm. Excel in a new commercial in Israel. He is claimed that he did not get paid for the advertisement. But he did get a free bottle of sperm. Excel which of course, it's really bizarre because the whole point of his outfit is that. He doesn't need sperm excels shoot and get paid. I mean all the budget when coming up with creative name for the product slow. Mo what is the best thing for this? How about this to sperm X everyone would want? Everyone wants have. You watched the ad in Hebrew. I would rather. I did watch the added he's walking on the beach and Tel Aviv and wearing on the Maury t shirt like went on Maury got the t shirt and then warrant yeah. Yeah. In wars Maury shirt on. Your your film industry needs some help over there, and it was like high. I'm Ari Nagin may remember me from bathrooms such as McDonalds or target. I would like this to be our last are in either. Let's let's end it. I can't promise. I can't we can't make that promise to and. You know, this is the one man Jewish continuity machine is just incredible Liana cut DASA should have awards. This take us a more important news. The Jews Lille in this past week many things have gone on in the world. One of them the one that is most important to my children, for example, was indeed all hallows eve Halloween. Let me tell you the this American holiday ever ever. One main reason why I seriously concrete indeed chose to move to this country was watching American television shows with Halloween in them. There is something voted to monster movies and candy to my main interest in life. And so this is a great holiday, but it's a holiday that kind of this year. Drove people a little bit out of their minds in in the great city, Florida. A woman named Susan Lehman was accosted by her her neighborhood of group or whatever for putting a little star of David on her front lawn because she Cording to her. Was Jewish and that was her way of expressing pride. And so once the neighborhood association told her she could not indeed have this display. She went up and put what on her long. Would you say? Let's let me read this from the Jewish telegraphic agency, a Florida woman usually here, Florida man, and I'm actually happy to then it's a. That's a quality. A Florida woman who says she is Jewish has angered neighbors received death threats over a holiday display in her yard that calls to mind Auschwitz, the display erected last week ahead of Halloween full of skeletons some saluting Hitler and others with concentration camp numbers on their arms and yellow stars. In case, you miss what the display was trying to do. There was little sign that says our bite mosque fry. So I wonder if she went to like the local Halloween store be excuse me. Auschwitz. Both involved. No, nothing to reason. And so this was Susan lamberton's Halloween not to be outdone. So this is a Jewish woman doesn't make any no sense. What does? Because. I was like, oh, this is someone we hate right? This is an anti Semite. This is that right? But no, I mean, she was like trying to shame them to if you respect my Judaism up. Do you outwit? You think star of David is offensive. How about the holocaust which you really the ultimate point here is that never moved to Florida. Here. My grand call. I know you're from Florida people and from people who then moved to I understand first half the year. And then fulltime I am from people like my grandfather, Walter who lived to the age of ninety five on a diet entirely of corn, beef and hires root, beer and the secret. He said was don't ever go to Florida because people go to Florida, and then they just watch TV and early word specials to eat and die and believe was if you stay in Philadelphia, you keep shoveling snow, and you live forever, and I just feel like the others snow and corn beef. You shovel. That's right. Just don't go to four. You you bad mouth the great state of Florida. You should know that not far away in the other grades of Kentucky a young that is so for you're such a foreigner Kentucky's nowhere near flipper. I said not too far. Okay. And it's not so far away that you think about it. And also ideologically very close because a wonderful man, they're contemplating what to dress. Self and his adorable blonde. Little five year old boy. Decided that he would be an officer. And the little kid would go as say it with me all together Hitler, which probably was the greatest ever conversation with the kid that goes like Dora, the explorer, it, no, you could go as hind him blurs, the destroyer such it's weird because his son I feel like he should have done Hitler youth like with a blond. Boy. It's weird that he went Hitler using it would have been more realistic than it would have respected the holiday a little bit. Is that what you mean? Just me like Hitler wasn't wan's. I know a lot of you have gone to Israel before. And some of you haven't gone to Israel. But you're thinking you might like to go. We'll look as somebody who's not a native Isreaeli and doesn't speak. Hebrew. I know there's a real challenge to getting the most out of that trip. I was there just eighteen months ago or so with daughter, Rebecca, and the fact that we had some reliable people who were able to point us in the right direction, really enhance the quality of the experience, you know, they point us to this little restaurants that aren't necessarily in the guidebooks those little stores, those allies about look that really helps improve the quality of the experience, and you know, who can do that for you rabbi at-at, whether this is your first visit to Israel your tenth. You'll get more out of it. If you have a guide with deep local knowledge rabbi eight Tom tours, take you on a journey of self discovery tailor fit to you, rabbi, warm and knowledgeable. He's in his Israel tour guide, but he grew up in Denver, and he went to school in New York. So you know, he knows where you're coming from. He gives what Israel is call American service, which is also known as service, and he's he's a genuine north. Orthodox listener. So you will be with a friend to rabbi, eight dot com slash unorthodox checkout. His custom tour packages from half a day to ten days or longer. Get a free consultation, talk planning. There's no commitment and has an unorthodox listener you will get fifty dollars off when you book your toward. That's our a BB IT A N dot com slash unorthodox. Get more out of your next trip to Israel checkout. Rabbi atonal tours. So we are here today with how do you pronounce your last name dined guard everyone here says it differently? That's what I said for getting maybe going back to Russian pronunciation which God. Yeah. Here became an. Yeah. Art. Okay. So we are we are here with Gary Stein. He is the New York Times bestselling author of the memoir little failure and the novels super sad. True. Love story. Absurdistan the Russian Debbie tons handbook you've read one or all of his books and you've loved one or all of them and his new book is lake success. Thanks for being here with us. So it's always great news. I think when you have a new book out this one is not like a dystopia in future. The Secondly, the end of the two thousand sixteen election is the stolen president president could have historical fiction. Given the the two thousand sixteen seems like it was one hundred years ago does. And so I'm curious with the book takes place at the tail end of the two thousand sixteen election and centers run a Jewish New York wrong. Let you explain all of that. But a time line of how you write a book comes out in two thousand eighteen that's about twenty sixteen. Review in the Scotsman, some Scottish newspaper that called me a couple of other writers that have managed to put out books about twenty sixteen to call this the the rapid response team or something like that. It's really feels like that. Like supercenter tried to focus on the future. But as a way, of course to write about the president. That's what speculative fiction really is take current trends and take them to their utmost extreme, but when I started writing the first real draft of lake success two thousand sixteen and I thought that Trump would be just the marginal part of the narrative because I thought he would I didn't think he would win. So I thought you know, the way if you do a film about the nineteen eighties. You might put a rubik's cube on a table to sort of show, this is the eighties. So the Trump election, we'd be sort of in the background is this kind of well, it's twenty sixteen folks. But of course, by the end of the year, and I finished a book on December twenty first which is also the shortest day of the year, which was kind of fitting by that point. He began to elbow his way into the book the way, he elbows his way into everything. So he tells a little bit about this book. Yes, this is the first book that doesn't have a post-soviet Jewish protagonist that just. Jewish protagonist. Barry Cohen, he is a hedge fund guy. He runs a hedge fund. He's running into the grounds. He is being pursued by the he is married to a woman in the marriages of disaster. He they haven't autistic kid with and that sort of is always looking for perfection and everything because he grew up in a very imperfect kind of childhood whose mother died when he was five his dad as schmuck. And so he will these things fall apart is marriage can't really to his kid the SEC's after him. So he gets on a greyhound bus searching for his Princeton girlfriend in who. Now lives in Paso, Texas. So it's kind of a road novel. But it every other chapter it goes back to Sima that's his wife, and she's on her parents are from India and her raising the kid in New York and then back to his journey across the country. So in the book, there's a writer who's working on a book about finance types. And he's trying to to meet them and spend time with them. That's actually what you did. Right. That's been four years with them, which was really just beyond the call of duty feel like. I don't know I deserve some kind of metal metal invest with the logo of a Bank on it. Some bitcoin something, you know, it was it was tough. I mean, I made some friends a couple nice people. But for the most part it was just complete insanity. And just you know, it was people. I thought of most of the finance industry is kind of tax on the rest of us transfers money from us to them. They don't really provide any great social service. They don't their ideas sort of skirt the free market its support of it. So I it was a very disappointing kind of for years. But hopefully, you know, I got a character out of it, which is the writers do suffer. And then I also spend four months on the greyhounds which Angie preferred to hanging out with with the hedge fund folks of and that was another another form of suffering, though, they'll having grown up in the Soviet Union held is not that bad our buses are much setter. This is sort of a portrait of America in a lot of ways. And I'm curious if like you said this. This is your first novel without Soviet Jewish. Protagonists? Did you perspective as an immigrant here as to that sort of color, this sort of scathing and a lot of ways portrayal of the American dream or wasn't American excess? Yeah. Well, you know, what I think I've brought to previous books as kind of feeling of being, you know, being an immigrant, obviously, observing from a kind of outsider's perspective and the first summer of Trump was the for summer where I felt even feel pretty American these days, I live half the year in the country. I drive a car for the first time life I by family size packets of Sharman field. There's no more Americans. I can attain, but you know, being out and about in America in the summer of Trump twenty sixteen. There's a scene in the book where Barry gets on the hill than these white supremacist. Get onboard and talking about crucifying, Muslims and Jews and that happens. They actually they. They were there and berry gets off by the New Testament coloring book to try to show that maybe he's not as Jewish as they think he is. And I almost did the same thing that happened to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So and then of course, we were passing through grambling state university. Traditionally the story African American college, and they were talking about how well they got their colleges and one day, we'll have hours so all that stuff in the book actually happened. And you know, it's not the people don't exist. Have had these ideas for centuries is part of the American that's sort of racism and anti semitism is a part of America. But it was I think the first summer where people could get up and talk about it loudly, and quote Breitbart, which they did, and and you know. A bus. We're primarily people were where people of color, and the was the summer where you could get up in first Claire verbally, you know, that you hated Jews Muslims blacks etcetera. And we've sort of in the last couple of weeks of seeing the Russian of all that come to its logical conclusion in a way that seemed Gary. Barrier. Yary saying, wow. So you just switch the letter. That's all you. The added a lot are. That's true. So berry berry in he says in response to the white supremacist. He's like, no, I'm Greek. And so there's a way in which his Judaism functions and kind of fascinating way here. And if I'm not mistaken, I can't remember trying to think back to the Russian Debbie tons handbook. My first book, I was so stone when I wrote that it's so hard to remember what I said. But I think there was some wine, we're legitimate Gershon. Who's the main protagonist of that is also confronted by someone and he says, he's our menia or something there's some instance of him, but he's in eastern Europe at the time, which sort of the hotbed of anti semitism, and he has to use that as an excuse not to get killed. But with frightening is that for books down the line? Barry Kony's using that in America here. He's using some kind of fellow free. You know, part of the world kind of character to get out of being assaulted. That's depressing that even today. That's we're still doing that. And this was in two thousand sixteen just to remind you this is before he was elected, and before this is the first sort of taste that I got. We're things were going it. When I got on the house in New York in June. I really thought that she was going to win who was gonna win. And then when I got up the hand in September, I was pricing Toronto real estate because it felt so well Montreal's Canadian refuge. But you know, I it four months really made a huge difference. I think in in the way, I saw things and people along the route just kept saying you're wrong. She's going to lose Pennsylvania. And was like, what are you talking about looking thirty eight, you know, and berry says also in the book, so the book is as you've been getting too. It's really an active shirtless of more than anything. It was just me taking a snapshot of the American temperament period in time. I'm so curious because the time of this book is actually quite different right from where we are. Now things. I would I would argue have gotten much much worse for from an arts for Jews in particular. I'm I'm wondering how it feels for you as someone who fled with your family, the Soviet Union to sort of be in this though, turbulence, you know, brings to mind this question of. Parents didn't get everything. Right. But they did get one thing. Right. They knew into leave, you know, and that's sort of the perennial question. I think for Jews and for other groups around the world that have that have been sort of shunted around. We mentioned our meetings earlier. When do you leave when things were about to turn, very ugly? And you know, this was the first manifestation of it. Well, two manifestations of it over the last two weeks. But. You're always got to keep your your. I mean, why people ask why do you write books that are so about now? And I think that that's sort of the instinct that I've always had is what's happening now look at history the future, but keep your eyes wide open. What is the Russian Jewish affinity for Trump because that exists, right? Of course it exists. Yeah. There's a couple of answers to that. I mean, one is you know, and this exists among certain American Jews native born American Jews as well. The perception that he's good for Israel move the embassy so all of that stuff, and the other part, I think is is the love of strongman, you know, this perception that we always had many Soviet us came in the late seventies early eighties. I was big sort of we emigrant seventy nine. There was this perception that Jimmy Carter was weak. Ronald Reagan was strong strong in a way in tailing, communism and also strong for Israel. I mean, the whole schmeer of stuff, and I think that was a big part of it. And you know, like any post-communist group look at American. For example. There's always a strong bias for Republicans. There's a kind of mind bending element to this. Because the Putin government is in so many ways of success to the Soviet regime. He's a ex KGB officer who was pretty much KGB officer today, and the KGB was always notorious semitic did horrible things to Jews. So when you look at it, you know, in any kind of logical way, there's there's a kind of huge fallacy here. I mean, and to be honest, a lot of the anti Muslim and the racist things that you hear from someone like Trump sits very well with this conservative group. And when we were growing up, you know, we were not wealthy. Most of us came without without any money. Obviously, many did not get the kind of jobs that they had back in the Soviet Union. And the Republican party said very, clearly, you know, I even then the sense was the Republican party was saying with welfare queens with Willie Horton what they were saying is you're white. And that's so if you think you're at the very bottom of the heap, you're not someone has been a few the horrifying message. But it's a message. I think that that really resonated. And today, many Jews are not pro Soviet us post, Russians, whatever they are. Now are are also very wealthy and not as integrated into the society. And I think someone like Trump really speaks her language, and that's very sad to say, obviously, someone who comes from that world. And in the light of what happened in Pittsburgh. And that the shooter was actually motivated by hatred for highest which is also insane to me because highest has always been something that Jews have have treasured, and you know, have known about forever. It's you know, with sure I mean, I think highest intersects with the very best of Jewish thoughts, which responsibility Jewish intersection with the rest of the world. You know, they were settled me sold my family. There was settled rate deal the people I know they were settled people I have met who were not Soviet use. It's an incredible mission. And of course, that's what they would go for it makes perfect sense. The highest on the far right makes perfect sense. It's jewish. Initiation. But it's committed to the idea of a of a world that's driven that's full of migration full of people escaping death. I mean, you're talking about what a Marlins endurance etcetera. Trying to get to America. They're not doing, you know, they're not just doing it for fun. They're not doing it to shop. You know, an Paso their their lives are at stake the way our lives were at stake. So this target mix. Perfect sense for people who have so little going on for them. And who wants to whose target is are people who are vulnerable, and and that's the mandate. I think of high system protective horrible and you worked at a resettlement organization, right? Not very well. I wasn't a great office worker. I think I was gently pushed out of every office job I've ever had. But it was Nyanda New York association for new Americans fund place, and my mom worked for highest for many years. So I'm curious when I'm reading about Barry Cohen, this Jewish guy is not super in touch with his Jewish identity. His wife has Indian wife actually teaches him. What tacoma? She stated a bunch of Jewish guy. Yeah. Which I found interesting in when I was on the dating scene. They were always these women who weren't Jewish who knew a lot about Judaism. But didn't dating Jewish guys in a row of which I would probably be the last one after me, the you know, what I may go back to two different kind of boyfriend. Now, I think I've done it the Jade eight s Moses you just like more your J points. I'm done is there an indictment of the of the American Jew here who values money like he's not nothing. He's not connected to history is his Judaism that it's sort of a relevant almost here. But his his quest for for money for bettering himself. His his quest for money is taken him, you know, from bettering himself from being the pool guys son to being this like master of the universe will. I don't want to say that you know, it's his lack of Jewish identity that makes him the jerk that he is. That could be one component of not knowing anything about himself of growing up in difficult circumstances. Like, I said well mom died when he was young father treated him terribly. It's trying to figure out who you are. And being understanding that you are Jewish in some way could be a part of that doesn't have to be in a religious sense. But maybe in a cultural sense. But I think his idea is that he wants to that. He is he wants to be master the universe in for him. That means being the friendliest guy in the street and for him that means, you know, reading FitzGerald to death and Hemingway and trying to capture that east coast, and then you names this fund the site of capital, the site of paradise drills first book, and so there's a kind of almost pro waspy nece this idea that I will become American by becoming as waspy as I can be. And I'm not saying that he should rekindle his connection with Judaism. I'm just saying that there's this idea of I'm basically vacuum. And I'm going to chase something that I believe sounds American enough. Interestingly enough, a lot of kids, for example, in places like China who want to take the toefl at such study, the great Gatsby is this great work of sort of understanding American assimilation. I'm not even disintegrate gasping. I think it's a lovely work. But there's this idea this kind of Ralph Lauren idea. Well, I'm going to this is how you simulate. And I think Barry and especially Barry's generation because he's forties. Right. Mid forties. This point so he is a vet. Generation that's still feels this incredible need to assimilate. It's funny because Ralph Lauren all these people who created this like typical wasp style preppy style our World, Jewish smart guys. Sure. And and you know, the the greatest wasp artifact of the last decade madman was of course, a Matt Weiner production. So, you know, absolutely. I mean, there's a there's a fascination with with the, you know, the ruling class in a sense, even if that ruling class has made room for others. This book is full of beautiful sentences and just such sharp observations about like, the nuances of the very very wealthy in New York. But I wanna talk about dogs. Sure. Because you have an amazing line. Berry grew up with this is a quote a dog who died from the melancholy of being a working class Jewish pet. I love that. So much fun writing that one. So what what do what Don Jews like what what's the relationship? I'm in love with dachshunds and part owner of dachshund the is a German dog to begin with. I think badger dog. I think dachshund could be wrong, but we can look at the inter tube for that. But I I know that the Germans initially bred this dog to pursue badgers. And. I fell in love with them. And I became a part owner of one about forty percent of dachshunds assistant takes care of the other sixty percents primarily owned the the snouts and the chocolate is at a dachshund mix an appearance in lake success, and I believe in other works as well. And my love of reductions really enough, this is sort of on topic became began in squirrel hill in part of Pittsburgh, where am I what am I college roommates with now works for political? He has family owned two dachshunds, and I went to Oberlin institute for exceptional individuals and Berlin. A tough place to spend four years because it's it's an Ohio. It's so Berlin. So we would make this very long trip to Pittsburgh to get away from it all to see the bright lights big city of Pittsburgh. And at a lovely house in squirrel hill. And there were these two dachshunds, and they were the sweetest Swedish phantoms I've ever met. There was something so Mellon melancholy about those. The is the snouts the dachshund is it's not a well-designed dog as we know. It's a sausage dog is incredibly long. This creates all sorts of can Ozzy problems for down the line of backaches are giant feature lifespan is tailored by my back. You know, so I just loved that dog squirrel, hunters such beautiful rice. It's really one of the most beautiful neighborhoods over and just one of these. I know Michael Shaybah has a connection to it. It's a really one of these sort of quintessential neighborhoods in Pittsburgh in general. You know, it was I think when I visited from from college. It was sort of coming off its coal world and becoming biotech and whatever it is now. But it's a really. Really great city on many levels. And there's something there at the Jewish community that I've not actually seen elsewhere, which is that they all like each other. And they all along to difference it like there's no like this is the conservative temple. And I would never send vote in the reform unless I had a bar mitzvah, go to. It's interesting. Yeah. There are people who said that they go to different services at different places because they like one rabbi, I mean, have you? I've never heard of how put drives people to connect to others. I think actually what it is having spent a few days there is it feels like a small town very much. But it's a cosmic, you know, it's in these people are not, you know, back like, these are cosmopolitans sophisticated with culture and all these things at the ready, but it also functions as a very much like a shuttle wherever knows each other's business. Everyone checks in. I think that's what makes this both so horrific do, but also something that the Mutiti is is not prepared for. But is is able to to handle because they are so close. Yeah. That's that's a very interesting. Mean how many fifty thousand Jews I think in the greater Pittsburgh area? I think I read that somewhere. It seems like a lot of small town. Right. Yeah. And they're all sort of stuck on top of each other moral. Hell, yeah. That's true. That's true. That is it is it is real shuttle as you said. Yeah. The one that I always was very interested. In was was the one in Montreal in reading Mordecai Richler a big fan in the way that sort of function throughout the years for good and for bad, and I think it left the most important culinary imprint Jewish culinary imprint on North America, the bagel there is spectacular and superior to anything. And and there was kind of interesting infrastructure moistens steak house, and Schwartz's and all these things I mean, they exist, obviously, we have cats and stuff like that. But there was a feeling that they were sort of imprinted on this part of play of the plateau, which is now this incredibly hipster area to me. That's the most interesting sort of Jewish community. I've encountered in North America. C your your team Montreal bagel to Montreal bagel person. I just ringing Montreal and got in deep trouble during the reading I was asked the question of you know, Fairmont or Saint via tour. Wow. And I said for month by a hair, you know, and this immediately upset, you know, more than half of the audience that was that was a bad question, though. Because you were going to get in trouble. No matter what I think there was more of a tour presence that that day. And I I can't I usually judge the winds pretty well. But I miss this upper -tunities connect with can you explain the veto tight versus the Fairmont type. I really to me. It's just you know, what makes them so great. Both of them is just the the size of the bagel. The fact that it's not this giant doughy? You know that it's more like a hockey puck the use of Honey water. I think people like the fact that well, I in in favor of safety drive say that have a full cafe where you can. So you buy the bagel firm on you have to get your own locks, and that's a whole thing. Whereas there there's a cafe they slap it on you what I would like is for there to sturgeon place nearby. So that you can combine that bagel with a sturgeon slice of sturgeon. And that one of those bagels, I think would be. And I it's a better vehicle. It's so much smaller with that's it. No bigger should be this largest should be delicious. Delivery system for the fish inside. It's our bagels Jewish at all anymore. Sort of you know, I guess yeah. You know? I think it's our greatest culinary contribution. We don't have green curry or something that important in a lot of the foods that we came from the foods of suffering. You know, Tisch what the hell is that? Right. We're sort of Haggas based kind of people. So the bagel is an improvement. It's bales. A more of a celebration of life and everything considering where we eat it. These crunching mini bagels Buber, I think they're called in Russia. The that I really enjoyed getting a sack of them and just choosing not chewing crackle through them. Gary Shankar, thank you so much for being with us lake success. You should you can and should get it at all retailers small and local and big and conglomerate alike. Thank you for being here. This. Hey, J crew. A lot of our regular listeners know that our producer. Josh cross has been working on this very beautiful side project this podcast called the branch, which is about shared society between Israeli Jews Arabs in Israel. Josh what's the latest episode about what's going on at the branch? Well, this time we actually went to DASA hospital and checked out the dialysis ward where you have patients who show up three times a week four hours of time and really built a relationship with each other. But what's really telling is the relationship between two of the nurses one in June. The other one is a Muslim, and it's really neat to see how they work together. And the relationship they've built that sort of shows a different way to function than even outside the walls of the hospital. So it's like ER or Chicago hope, but in Israel, and with society, basically and a lot more giggling. All of you should go. Listen to the branch. Josh has been working very hard on it with DASA the women Zionist organization of America. And the episodes are really something very special. You can find it at you can find it anywhere, you'd find your podcast like tunes, or whatever or you can go to Haddassah dot org slash the branch and all of you should thanks. Josh. All right are gentile tonight is comedian. Kevin Allison, he was a member of the sketch comedy troupe the state, and he's is. Yeah. He's a creator and host of the podcast risk where people tell true stories. They never thought they would share. Seven hundred million downloads. Yep. Every moment. Hello to you. Kevin, you gentile, you go, man. Very good. That's how we do love. Here is this your first turn is a gentle of the week or have you've been a gentle of the week. Well, you know, I grew up in comedy. So, you know, I'm very often the only gentile in the room Shalom, Kevin. It's awkward because our first question for you, actually is so you're gentile in comedy. What's that like? Yeah. You know, the state my sketch comedy group it was. So I grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio and very very, Roman Catholic and vary. Republican very, you know, white, Brad. And when I got to NYU, it was real I was like. It was so weird. Because I was like, well, of course, I consciously knew there were people who aren't Catholic. But man, there really are people who aren't Catholic and my mother was very disturbed because my freshman year, and why you you have to choose a minor as the my major was filmed. But I was like I'm going to take a class in Judaism and Buddhism and Hinduism, and you know, is Lomb and my mother was like, no. When that let him thick envelope or. Like, I don't know about that. And she was so upset that. I did switch my minor to English. We we have so. I love the world in which switching your mind to English is the choice that mother's mother happy. Lawrence was much safer material. Mother hadn't read much Lawrence. Did your mother is it just because she didn't want to what's Catholocism important enough to you that she didn't want to lose cities geared that. I would be exposed to all these new ideas. And one of the first things I did it was when I did a documentary at the end of my freshman year, where I wrote down all of these very very personal questions about Jesus and walked around New York City and knocked on doors and asked people, and they were things like if Jesus played a sport, which one do you think he would prefer what kind of joke will crawl? Someone said hang gliding. But no, I met with all kinds of people to like get some real reactions, and it was really interesting because it was clear that New York City was making me question. All this. You know, mythos that I had grown up with and never really questioned all that much. And is that how you decided to be a comedian? Yeah. Absolutely. When what's the career path into that? Well, when I was a freshman at at NYU, I came to study film. But you know, I was also a very sensitive gay, man. And I really recognized quite quickly know we had a Russian film teacher in our freshman year who a young woman showed her movie, and he said, yes, you should stay working in the kitchen. I was like, oh, that's funny. I see how the movie business works and film school works. It's very straight male bullying. You know, it was a boys club. And so I became very frightened Antill. I met a group of people who were starting a sketch comedy group. And that was my group the state we started right in my freshman year at NYU, and we became so obsessed with our our teamwork you know, how much fun we were having together that we. Oh my gosh. We need to try to create a career together after we graduate. And we did we were on MTV within a year of having graduated one of the things that taffy writes about inner peace with about Melissa McCarthy is that it's hard times for comedy because everyone feels that if you're not being topical and relevant. You're semi being anti topical or your skirting the issues that everyone wants to talk about and that comedy's actually aren't big budget comedies aren't doing. So well right now, and that a lot of materials off limits and a lot of it's heavily politicised. Are you feeling that's true? Or is it that we all just go to podcasts to get the unvarnished. Good stuff. Well, one of the great things about podcast is that people can feel free. They don't have to talk in sound bites and they don't have to stick to specific John rose and storytelling. I created my show risk because you know, by two thousand nine when I was about to turn forty. I was getting a little tired and frustrated with having to fit into that one laugh per eight seconds str-. Picture. I wanted to be able to get up on stage and speak sometimes in a way that made people emotional in a way that made people, you know, scared. You know, I wanted to go all over. So I realized that true storytelling was the place to go for that. So on risk. I just let people know look anyone is free to say anything here. And that includes me the host I've decided to start this week's episode saying, hey, you know, what we shouldn't be putting kids in concentrated gaps. You know what I mean? Like, I feel free to say whatever I want on the show to and every now, and then if I'm feeling like, wow, things are really fucked up right now. I'll just go ahead and say it, and, you know, put some narrative around it about how my day is going and that sort of thing. But yeah. Yeah. No. It is definitely very very taxing. I think for everyone who has to speak publicly to get up in front of an audience on a regular basis and kind of like. The nice thing about risk is people can talk very emotionally about issues that are very much in the news today, but they can address them in the ways that they're that they're happening inside their own families or their own relationships or even just their own minds as they're going through their day. So it's it's it's a great way on risk person can talk for ten twenty minutes, even an hour telling a story where you feel. You're just much more connected and feel like there's more of a flow than say on Twitter, which is just a waterfall anxiety. Yeah. Those the original tagline. I want to get back to risk in a second. But before that before you found the success again with, you know, seven million people listening at every given moment, you've you've done as as a lot of struggling actors and comedians and podcast hosts, sometimes here have done you've done a lot of jobs odds and ends here. And then what what kind of tells about that life? Oh my goodness. Well, you know, catered events Donald Trump. Yes. Yes. Yes. I want you know, I the state was on MTV for a few years. And then then we tried to switch to CBS and less moon base was being hired that week. And he said, oh, I'm too busy. I'm not interested in a bunch of kids who do sketch comedy fire them immediately. So our career was just suddenly over the past few months has been have been hard for you. So. Yeah. So I spent twelve years after the state broke up really not knowing what to do with myself. So the first thing I did was cater waiter. And you know, I was pouring champagne at the Grammys while I was in reruns on TV, Sarah, McLaughlin, walks in to this room where I'm pouring champagne and Aretha Franklin walks in at the same time. It's your clock. Oh my God. Aretha? A can I get you some champagne she walks up to my bar? She looks at me. And she says Sarah McLaughlin, says oh my God. What are you doing there and Areva says, and she's oh, he's a very successful. Comedian and are either went. What would have been really if it at a wreath was the state fan? He's good good one could have given me my career Joel truly of something. But this. Yeah. So I did a lot of things, but actually my career in storytelling started because Michael Ian, black who had been a member of the state was like you had such an insanely ridiculous life. Would you stop getting up on stage playing crazy characters and start telling us your own true stories? I said that feels too risky. He's like, yeah. There's a word. That's the idea go with risky. So I went back to New York. And I was like, well, I could talk about you know, the most controversial job I've ever done which male prostitutes. So that was the very first I feel in twenty that is not the most. No. Well, it wasn't the worst job. I've ever had. It's true. What they say. That waiting tables is worse. But yeah, no. So that was my first foray into getting up in front of an audience and just like being like, well, I don't care what you think about this. I'm just going to be honest with you and found that that really works. Yeah. Can I go back to Jesus for a second? Aureus come to Jesus. But it's he was like a good storyteller. Right. Yeah. I think not original storytelling, not only that some people who told stories before Stephanie. But he was like really took way too. Casting you really did it he narrative. Yeah. What I think is really interesting. If you look at the way that those that the gospels are written is that he has a real sense of drama. He's not only a storyteller. But he's like, okay. I'm gonna walk in here. When everyone's gathered there stoning, someone here's my turn to like make a big show. Yeah. He had a sense of theater as well. I think. Yeah. But then again, he might not have existed that was my very favorite my very favorite response. I got this all the time in my documentary about Jesus people would say, I think he was a really really good guy if he existed that was a very interesting way that the mind can hold onto two ideas at the same time did so you've been doing how many episodes of risk have there been now at this point. Well, well over four hundred at this point. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And what is the kind of? I mean, there must be a certain a few cliches at this point. We were like don't tell us. About your loss of virginity or don't tell us. I mean, are there that have lapsed into cliche where you don't want to hear them? And then is there one or two just blew your mind with their you couldn't your jaw dropped after all this time. We're still shock so risk. The people the listeners are the main contributors the listeners hear these stories, and they're incredibly therapeutic and incredibly cathartic because their uncensored you can't share these kinds of stories on National Public Radio there, the kinds of stories, you would share with your therapist, usually. And so we'll run a story about say for example, child molestation. And then all of a sudden there will be a flood of stories about child molestation pitched to us. And so that can be very psychologically draining on me when when we go through, you know, the metoo period has been very like, oh, my God, you know, to go through all those experiences that people are sharing. So yeah, I would say that one like I'm gay and like I kind of was the pied piper on the show by sharing very gay kinky poly-amorous sort of stories that are usually pretty funny and free spirited on the show. I kind of led the way of you can talk about anything here. I think that the stories of people who were raised in very Christian households. And we're, and you know, like had to deal with coming out and being completely, Sean and everything like. There's so many of those that it does get a little like, well, it feels in human to say, but I feel like okay. So is there. A twist. Does your mother listened to the show your God? No risk. We just came out with a book to of some of our favorite stories. It's called risk. And I told my mom you're not allowed to re I said, please don't get the book. And I was amazed that she agreed to that. You know, there's a certain level of. Oh, yes. Maybe we don't want to know. So. Yeah. No. Like that. I often talk about the fact that as much as I absolutely love, my parents and supportive as my parents, always was of my pursuing my dreams. There's definitely a lot of sexual shame that I was raised at and, you know, it's interesting. There was a book called once a Catholic. And it's interviews with prominent former Catholics and one of them was George Carlin, and he said, all right? I am so grateful that I was raised. Catholic because I grew up in a very liberal democratic family, and if I hadn't had those nuns and pres to rebel against I wouldn't have developed the voice that I have. And that's exactly how I feel about my mother's sexual shaming. That risk. My podcast is kind of kind of a rebellion against that archetypal voice in my head of don't talk about sex don't do sex, don't, you know, no sex. But like also a double edged short. Because like, I I'm obsessed with your podcast hours starts with you know, sponsorship with Harry's razors. Yours starts with by this dildo and get us three sex wing, which I always find amazing. 'cause like if we had that. No. Would have to be kosher. That's right. And not swing. Do you ever feel like there's might be a tipping point in which to culture would sort of like Ford so strongly in in this direction in which all these taboos, and all these shaming will simply cease to exist, and then podcast like risks would be like just another man talking about you know, king camp? I don't know. I mean, you you mentioned the musical cabaret before I feel like I feel like risk is kind of like the musical cabaret right now, you know, like like when people share especially about kinky things or about, you know, like screw this to the repressive, you know. Political environment. We're in I kind of feel like, yes, it's very I mean, we have had stories on risk about extremely taboo, stuff like even beading and. Race play is a race play is where people there's a dominant and submissive their role playing in their actually using racial tension in the role playing that they're doing we've had a very profound story about that. So yeah, they're they're we've definitely like at times, we definitely do go too far for some listeners. But no, I don't I don't one of the keys is that the story has to have a sense of compassion, and is told from the top of your intelligence. You can't come like people will sometimes be like, oh, you can talk about any sex here. Well, you know, I to do this, boo. Boo. Who was a hate her. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no you have to when you come to risk. Tell a story where you're trying to be as empathetic toward the other characters in the story on your you're being as self critical as you can't about. It yourself in the story as well. So we definitely do not. We we don't accept most of what is pitched to us. And we don't even run about sixty percent of what we work with you know. So there's a process of elimination there. But every now, and then someone comes through and the audience will be like that person sounded like a narcissistic sociopath to me. And I'll listen again. And I'll be like, oh, maybe I missed that. Maybe. Maybe that was not the truth at all get mad with I'm thinking. And I think about this a lot when I listen to you that person actually had to struggle with with the sexual shame with coming out with all these tensions. And here's a new generation of people who just get to come and talk to you. Because you've already walked this path. I you ever like, hey buddy to twenty years for you to be able to talk. Well, I always felt that way. Because I realized I was gave from the beginning of consciousness and a lot of people don't believe that. And I'm like, okay, don't believe it. But my first thought was I love boys butts, you know. So I grew and incense Cincinnati itself is a very sexual repressive town. There was the Mapplethorpe trial. Larry, Flint trial, you'll hair an act, which reform rabbis, right? Is in Cincinnati. Oh, do that. Did you know that no major rabbinic seminary? Your home. Show that for Christmas. But way, they're open. Then what was just saying? Oh, yes. So I grew up kind of thinking, I was the only male in the world who liked other males. And that is actually the reason that I ended up going to NYU I told my parents, oh, it's for film school. But it was really because I had seen in time magazine that you can have gay sex in New York City, it was forgave school. So I time magazine was what you had that knowledge under. So so I grew up feeling so very alone and being so, hyper aware of the irony of how people were talking, and you know, wincing every time I heard the slurs about gays and you want to get to high school. It's once every five minutes, you're hearing them. So I grew up just feeling incredibly alone about all that. And once I got to college and everyone's like, oh, we're starting gay groups in every. Thing. And everyone's everyone else started coming on the cause that I was like, oh, you guys know, I'm. Who the hell are you newcomers? I've always felt that weird that weird tension. A hipster gay. Right. Right. Right. So Smith told a really good story on your show on one of the all star editions on it wasn't about sex or anything, anything scandalous. It was about just like a boyfriend she hadn't high school and how sort of a bad kid in high school. And she says something at the beginning. Which is I know I'm gonna have to tell my kids this story someday. And you know, it's it's a story. It's it's the kind of thing that made me think, oh, this is a podcast that's sort of available online available in perpetuity. It's not like getting up on stage one night at a storytelling it that. And I'm wondering how that changes the calculus of this knowing that these stories live, and you know, someone's parent or someone's, you know, employer could find them the number one reason that people fret about telling stories on risk is family members. You know, a man once told the story of how he accidentally or not accidentally. No, no, it was not one of the poop stories that that is a whole genre. No that he kinda sorta killed a person. It was it was a it was an incredible story. One of one of the things I love about stories, especially restores there's tons of mixed emotions and times when the storyteller disagrees with him or herself and stuff like that. So it was filled with all that kind of you know, ambivalence in and working your way through it. And the night before the show it was in Chicago. We were doing the show in Chicago. He said, I got a call from him Easson. I can't do it. I said why? And I heard his wife say tell me you were just making it up. It's fictional. He's like, oh, it was just a lie. I was like, oh, I I can hear her in the background. It's your wife your Dell stories so yeah, there's always that fear of you know, I tell everyone changed the names of other characters in the in the story. But you know, another thing that's happening is risk has been around since two thousand nine. So I'll listen now two stories I told in the first couple of years and be. Like, whoa. Is that politically incorrect that I said that now you know, what I mean? And I have that like Francis. Coppola desire to like, go back and change it. But you know, you should kind of let it be given one of the privileges of being done the week. Is that as the final question, you get to pose a question to the Jews and ask us because we are an internationally recognized panel of Jewish experts. We've cabal we've been Kabbal. That's right. We've been certified by the the bankers and. And. Anything that we can tell you. My question that I had in mind was you know, I have started getting into secular Buddhism. And so the way that expresses itself is buying a lot of audio book. And listening to like some of the Dharma talks that are on on the podcasts out there. And it was so funny because at a certain point I was like, oh, I love the lilting sound of these Buddhist teachers voices. What is that is that a Buddhist thing? And then I realized oh, no, that's a Jewish thing. These guys all kind of sound like rabbis, and then a friend was like, oh, yeah. You didn't know that like Yoda in Empire Strikes Back is kind of like a Jewish. You know? A Buddhist teacher. I was like. Oh, yeah. So what's the code is Jewish that that like some there was a missing step there? And some people believe that Yoda was based on was do exactly exact-. You're wondering why are why are there? Somebody wires so many Jews also Buddhists. Yeah. We all do you. Have you tried every spiritual path? Leo. So if you have been I've tried many you've done. A gun point. The true answer. But only L answer might in a sense. My answer would be nobody would also be the direct. I think attempt at the question I haven't because I really like being Jewish. I think there are a lot of us who also really like being Jewish, but don't really love Judaism birthday, which feels a little bit weird and repressive and Phil kinds of rules. And maybe you're not into it. And maybe you see it as some sort of weird guy with, you know, law, and you know, kind of weird beard, and so you're looking for something, that's spiritual and permissible and this with its direct absence of God is a really comfortable kind of way to not be that person's not religious. But spiritual to me means that, you know, you don't understand what either of these things, but you really have some sort of serious pursuit that in a weird kind of route about way also lets you grapple with a lot of the theological issues of Judaism. But without calling that because then that's right. Right. Right. Right. It's kind of a. Oh found anti neurosis therapy. Oh, yeah. Don't have to hang on the rabbi who you felt instilled some of those neuroses in you. But there's actually another. There's there's actually another reason my friend, Emily Siglo who's who's written a book that's coming out on the origins of the ju boo phenomenon discovered. It's not even it's J UB. You J Roger candidates in the June the Lotus coined the term jubilee. He spelled at J. You be you and Emily has discovered. There was actually like a secret meeting not secret. But we might as well think of it that way in the early seventies. And I think it was people I'm getting some of this wrong like Sharon salzberg, and John Cabot zinn Bernie Glassman who basically got together and said, how do we sell eastern what's an Asian spirituality Asian philosophy to these all these American juicy interested? So it was kind of rebranded as mindfulness and meditation, and they wrote books, and they started doing retreats, and they basically rebranded as American mindfulness. Inter there was actually a plot. If you want the scholarly correct version of that Emily's book is coming out. But that's kind of the essence is that. They really did think it was a bunch of Jewish teachers who said how can we work this Jewish market in a way that doesn't freak them out with too much of the oriental, and there's so much built in you know, compatibility here, you know, the whole month of ELO for exam the whole months before the high holidays, you're literally commanded to meditate and sort of like think through your your sins and do kind of if I made the original mind from this mealy trying to get to the bottom of your behavior, and how to change yourself before you know, you keep so these things are not necessarily mutually exclusive. And you know, it's cool. But here's our question. Will you come back on our podcast when it's just in the little studio and tell us about your Buddhist journey as it goes. Absolutely. And we'll tell you about ours. That's. Thank you for being gentle the week. As you listeners know, we have been on the road a lot here on orthodox when you're on the road a lot and living out of a suitcase and just feeling like, you're not you're bestself being clean shaven gets really important. At least to me. That's what keeps me saying. That's what keeps me feeling like the Mark Oppenheimer. I I know best like my best self. That's why it's really important for me anyway to be packing. My Harry's razor Harry's founders were so fed up with overpaying. So they made it affordable. And they went online to make it cheaper for us to get. They bought a factory that's been making some of the highest body blades in the world for over ninety five years. That's a hundred years of promoting smoothness. And they give you a quality guarantee. If you don't love your shave, Harry's. No. And within thirty days, they'll give you a full refund. Get a thirteen dollars value trial set that comes with everything you need for a close, comfortable shave weighted ergonomic handle, five late razor, lubricating strip and trimmer blade, rich, lathering shave gel, travel blade cover. You can do this by going to Harry's. Dot com slash unorthodox. Obese mood at home be smooth on the road and be smooth. With harry's. Harry's dot com slash unorthodox. Let's see as you know, before we conclude this show, we always do some mazal tov and curious I wanna give my mazal tov to someone else. You wanna let someone else? Yes. Yes. I want to what's the word seed my mom's will, Tom. No one in particular, just Josh with the microphone from you guys. I'll say my mazal tov is for the crowd tonight at the Mandel JC, and I want you guys to give your. Here has anyone for any brag. Yeah. Tell host who you are give them up. Hi, I'm Harvey SAS transplanted to Cleveland three grown children spread around the country. Or now jealous could be that. They're not here tonight. But one of them her name is rabbi Paula rose. And she's in Seattle, and when she was finishing. Rabbinical school. We've other. Called into you. You wish her luck? When choose go out there for her interview. She subsequently got the job and these game fully employed now for a year and a half. So let's say MAs. That her right? We did a live. We did like a livestream. What's called the listener part listener party and on the rabbi, Paul I hope she knows we're going to be in Seattle February second. Sure entire show. And I'm sure she will. And now that I called her out. Do also have to shout out to her brother Benjamin's houses wife, Elise in Philadelphia and younger sister, Monika sassy in Saint Louis should be clear that when you talk about your son, Ben Sasse, it's not the Senator from Nebraska offense. Your last name is essay s right? That is correct. So he's come a long put an E on his name relatively up your son's life. That's correct. Google rankings? That's thank you. That's awesome. Anyone else have more more more more more back back there back there? Hi, my name is Blair Gordon Berg, I'm from Chicago, originally, moved vein in July. So I guess I'm a clevelander now. Thank you. You can make jokes. I don't know any yet. But I'll work on it. Of the week goes to my roommate who Randy Disney half marathon yesterday and her birthday is on Friday. So Shelby camera. Three. Oh, wait. There's a half marathon that competes with the New York marathon, that's bad timing. The New York marathon was yesterday. In Disney understand them who maybe two more two more. If you wanna give mazal tov. To anyone kids like birthdays. Here we go. We have one right here. Graduate birthday, girl. Mazal tov to Isaac and yell on their new baby of who you know in Baltimore. She NAR NAR. Eileen gherman. Oh, my mother. Yeah. I had Russia Shanna dinner at your house a couple years ago. It's oh. Oh. I'm not so tough to them. But also we use the same let that you did Emily Blake. She was wonderful the best in the world. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Did the baby not even wake up. Not didn't like it shows, by the way, and she quoted Leonard Cohen and Bob Dylan in the naming it shows you what type of horrible people. We are that to Mark son's Bris. We actually secretly recordable thing thinking it for an episode. He's a horrible horrible meeting. This sooner you've been sitting here. This whole time. You've been waiting to see if I recognized her and I apologized, I didn't. But that's right. You grab my house. Rush on. And so I have to say that her son and daughter-in-law Isaac and yell. We're at our show for the past two years was only year, and then became these incredibly close friends, and then they moved to Baltimore. And we're like we're completely and had a baby, and we're so heartbroken and mazal tov on the baby and everything so good to see. Can anyone beat that? We have one over here. Hi, hi. My name is orally. I'm a senior in high school, and my model Tove is to my friends who already got into college. We are not gonna top those. But leo. I I don't have them either. But I also gonna hand off to someone. I got I got this Email in from somebody really hoped for found out. Allie writes says my husband Carl and I are recent newlyweds married October fourteenth currently living in Columbus, Ohio. We both enjoy listening to the podcast every week. And we're very excited to hear that you were doing a live show in Cleveland. We had been planning on buying tickets to the show last week but Sunday Carl's grandfather also known as eighty died at the age of ninety four with all the traveling to Maryland our home state for our wedding. And the funeral. We knew we weren't going to be able to travel again to Cleveland for the show if you could give shout out to Carl during the live show. I know it would make his day. We can't wait to listen to the recorded live and hope to see you all in person sometime soon. Thank you alley. So Allie muzzle Tom on the wedding, first of all amazing. Congratulations. And we're so sorry for the loss and a big shout. Shoutout in mazal tov to your husband Carl. I miss you. What we hereby promise and Nancy from the JC is here to keep us honest on this is that when you guys have is back to Cleveland alley and Carl are getting free tickets. Okay. And they're each getting big and bring their parents are getting like six six free tickets for the alley and Carl commu they can bring their dog the child they may have had by then they can bring anyone they want to this building. All right. It's been wonderful to have you. We hope you'll stay. Is there like food at the you guys are? This is God bless Cleveland. This has been a wonderful honestly from from Harley Coen in the United airline jet. Propeller plane to axe to the bagels backstage to all of you. It's been a wonderful trip. Unorthodox brought to you by Talbot magazine on the web at Talbot. Mag dot com. Big thanks this week to the Mandel JCC of Cleveland. You can ask for our newsletter by writing to unorthodox tablet, MAG dot com and putting newsletter in the subject line. We often come to you live tonight to book to advertise with us Email producer cross at J cross cross with a K at time mag- dot com. And of course, you need to wear and carry unorthodox hit up the website, hit dot L. Y slap unorthodox shirt and find the latest in unorthodox, shirts, mugs, and stickers as well as coffee cosies with which to surround your caffeinated beverages. Follow us on Instagram at unorthodox podcast and on Twitter at underscore pod. Join our Facebook group for debates about things like whether boiler Saran wrap. Our show is produced by cross sherzer silicon a no eleven our editor is Sophia. Steiner? Eva artwork is by Esther worker. Our social media interns are Abrahams. Our theme music is by Gholam online at Gholam rocks dot com. A mailbox theme by Steve Barton, rabbinic supervision by rabbis Josh scoff. And Scott Rowland. And big thanks as well to the home. That always has to take us back when we come knocking Argo studios in the flat iron district of Manhattan alone. Friends.
Aired 2 weeks ago 116:19
Side Effects of Self Doubt (with Jordan Carlos)
What's up guys? Dave stone. I'm Kyle Kinane. And we're the host of the buggy monsters at the same time. What's the boogie monster? Well to podcast where Mikhail try to sit around talk about cool stuff, like aliens Bigfoot, but really it just just talk about fried chicken most of the time. Ghosn aliens conspiracies. Maybe and fried chicken and chicken and conspiracy barbecue around barbecue and beer. Yeah. And beer, we drink that check us out every Tuesday, wherever get your podcast, the boogie monster with Dave. I'm happy to announce that in this new year, we are going to be bringing small doses to you live. That's right small does the podcast is now coming to you live to school or university near you. All you gotta do hit up bookings at diva works dot com. That's bookings at DNA works dot com. And find out how to bring small doses. Lies to you. We don't spill all the DM. Teas. So funky. Listeners. One might think how many more topics can they do. And let me just tell you. There's a lot to this life. There's a lot. And I might think is it possible to do more topics and my good enough to do more topics and that brings us today's topic. Exiled him Oji. Yeah. That's what we're at. Let's really talk about that, man. Because I think it's also like a reflective time of year when people start to question what have I done this year? What have I accomplished? I'm going into the new year. I'm going into the holidays. You know, when I have to sit down with all these people am I going to have to talk about how do I myself can I put myself, and I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay home like in scroll to Netflix, all these things. Really? I feel like start to bubble around the end of the year and the transitioning into a new year, and I feel like we need to get really one hundred about it. And we have a guest today. Jordan Carlos sometimes our guests on show up to later. But today, our guest is going to be right here with us from top to bottom. Well, yeah, I got and let me tell you Jordan is has the prestige of having one Mazza Blacksburg in his show of smart money in black events. Bon DC, and we just did a special like knock out bang. Rem like mistletoe do that do that do show. Kwan's myths version of smart funny and black three hours, my ankles, swollen after it was I mean, it was just a next level show. We brought back in number of blacks birds, Jordan among them at the end of the show. We said everyone like play games like throughout the show. And then I voted myself as the electoral college who was going to be the massive expert for the night and Jordan came out, the Victor and see thank you so much for that. That was that was that was a great moment for me because I was like I win this twice. I have no idea and I did. And I still to what we're talking about right now feel as though Chuck English was the winner. And I've have I reached out to him. I felt it was almost like that moment in the Oscars was like, I was going to be like, you know. Say Moore is the winner, not LA La Land. Where is this Charlton Heston voice? Like a detective in the in. What was it in the lake? She prohibitions see what are you prepared to do? Yeah. We have too many COMEX jahns I was like don't have liked much synapse. Why were you talking about the anti because I was talking to my brother who loves to talk like movies everything ago, he loves it. And we were like he we were like clowning around thanksgiving. And he was like I was wrestling with them on the floor. And he's like why are you do that? You know, when Sean and I was like, we were just reliving that moment, and it was. Kevin Costner was Kevin Costner. I was like I was like is the is the bookkeeper on that train train like he was reaching for something. And I was like. And it was it was not the rosary. Like, it was it was it was the timetable for the bookkeeper. And then my daughter was like, what are you guys doing? You see? But on topic. Yeah. I wrestle with that every day. I have to this moment up till now you've brought it up, and I still think took English like well, why list didn't win. He was so funny. But that's not the show your inconclusive ity this show is about being smart and ambling. So when it comes down to it. It becomes not just about it wasn't like, oh, you were smarter per se, but when it came down to giving correct answers, and when it came down to providing like insight to those answers and adding extra information that wasn't even requested of you. You did that. So that's how that works. And you know, you played two games. So you did get the real opportunity to show that you know, I think that. The wheelhouse though, they were in my wheelhouse. When you come with warlord when you came when black fax black faxes like as like, yes, I can nail this. Because I was my family was like we were a dynasty of black lighting black history month like we couldn't be beaten. And like they would like try to like go to like, they're like, okay, we're gonna do electoral college on this. We're going to try ways. Didn't you get a five on your AP history exam? True. It's true. And I but I was like in the dump class. And like I said, why are you in the remedial class? I mean racism, but. Okay. Because you did end up at Brown. So like, I did it's not like you got. There is a legacy. I didn't didn't get is a legacy. But. I had a good will hunting situation in AP history. I was I was like, you know, I was just this guy that that was good in the dumb class. My teacher was like, maybe you should take the AP add on and then like, you know. 'cause like one morning they'd found a history of question was solved. The who solve this is an impossible history. Like, what does that look like? You know, the war of eighteen twelve know. Parallel. Bugah XYZ affair was was limited to these matters which led to the teapot dome scandal Kerry, the two, and I was like these are my proofs and the like. Correct. And I was lifted out on shoulders. It was nuts. I blacked out. But the point is that I love history, and then Aflac and Ben Affleck. I worry about him. I worry. I do. I do I want the best deep down. I know. He's a pretty good guy. That is weird TAT's. That's that's telling he's shown me that he's interested in things and history. He's not as in history. Which is why he asked Henry Louis gates to remove the part of the episode to basically not air his episode that of finding your roots where they found out that he owns lathes by Ben. You know, not him. But let hey is his great. Great. Great. Great. Great affleck. Yeah. Grandpa athletic insurance agency. Flack affluent. I mean, I feel as though, but that's that's my major probs. And it's like, I'm not like like, save my life, or whatever it is. Is a very real thing. And it's interesting for you to even a for you to even like attach it to something that seems so innocuous as smart funny and black. It's a fun show entertaining show, but like winning smart from the black is not affecting your life in a real way. Whereas like passing the AP history exam can affect your life and a real away because you're able to use that to go to a higher school, the higher level of education, and you have to change your education, etc. Etc. But when we talk about self doubt, I think a lot of times, we don't know. I think there's a certain level of positive, and I think there's a whole lot of negative, and we're gonna get into all that today. Let's drop it. Jammed up in. Today's Jim drop marine is so versus impostor syndrome now full disclosure. I don't really know about imposter syndrome like that. It's something it's a term that I hear it's it's definitely like been inserted into my zeitgeist. And I've had other people like talk about it. But I've really feel like I haven't done my due diligence on the ins and outs of it. However, I know a lot about self doubt. Oh, yeah. Now, Jordan on the other hand knows about the impostor syndrome and can give us some insight into how it differs from how it extends from self doubt. And I think that, you know, the combination of us having this question will give you all the gym drop ry that you came here for then when it comes to self self-doubt. I mean at the end of the day, we this is no mystery self-doubt is basically just when you are questioning the validity of what you're doing the value of what you're doing. You know, you're you're just questioning. In what you're doing? Is this worth it? Is it meaningful? Is it even is it is it good? If you're a creative. Is it? Good is a very clear about online. If you're a comic is funny. But funny funny. It don't matter how many IDS is you make laugh you will still ask. But in my funny, though, like even with my special it hasn't come out. But enough people have seen it that I respect and whose humor I respect, and they're like is really really good. And I'm like. No now, I have entered into my phase of self doubt. Which is always like a reoccurring part of my process when I am when I make something, but I feel like for me, it ends up being a very essential part to keep me at a certain level of not just humbleness, but awareness for the the grand macro scope of things, and the fact that like night, everybody's going like this, you know, and it also is like my way of combating perfectionism that can be very detrimental. And so it's like, listen, there's maybe shit that doesn't end up. Exactly how you want. It. You will have more specials knees are the works. This is the work that comes with when I have self doubt. Because I feel like I've been really crafting away to utilize the Dow to be more of just a self check versus just verses stopping cell. Doubt. And I think that is the fork in the road that happens. The cell is a natural thing if that devil on your shoulder, you know, that comes in. But then you reach that fork in the road where it's like, what are you going to do with it, and you can either go to self check or you can go to imposter syndrome syndrome. When it slides into complex. And that's like I have suffered from through the years is that I feel it whatever it is that I have earned or chief by myself or on my own merits. Actually, I I feel that I have in some way that it's all just been like either a mistake, look or fluke something like that. And that if people really knew what was going on. They wouldn't hire me at all. Like, I think that every when but so we must have knowledge that there is a level of delusion. Yes. Not much. When you say. Say like if people knew what was going on nothing is going on. Right. Exactly. My point. Nothing's going on. No. I'm kidding. No. But like. But but the. Yeah. The point is that my feeling about my work in my output is always going to be something. I I've grappled with and I work on daily is giving myself credit for what I've done that. You know, what you made those people laugh that was a good piece of writing that Email was fine. Let me though that like you are not we didn't even give your credits. I mean, so Jordan became I aware of Jordan when he was on guy code, and then I was doing stand up in New York. And so we would run into each other there, and then Jordan is a writer so not just as a standup like as a writer. You're writer on the nightly show just writer on the show, divorced on HBO. You are currently a writer on first wives club. Yes, we are currently working together writing something that's true. So like. That I'm fullish baloney. I dunno. Absolutely, chris. I'm sorry. So when you Mike question is when you get into imposter syndrome is there time though, when you get pulled back like like is there like a situation for you? When you hear it from this particular person, or you have something in this particular scenario. No one's no one's no one's word is good enough. However, I do believe this is the this is a side effect of the impostor syndrome. We're in you believe what the troll say. So you believe that they have the truth about who you actually are. So a long time ago, and this is this is my struggle longtime ago. I was imbued with this. This this feeling of like chronic self-doubt win I got into college. I got into brand University School very good school. But I remember a fellow student saying to me getting a Brown. You only you're only going to Brown because you are Brown. And I was like, wow. That has a kind of a yin Yang sing. Symmetry to it. It's it's short it works. It stuck with me. And I felt as though any achievement beyond that, you know, like like anything that I would do beyond that would be as well. It was BS that I got in. It was like anything I did. After that any stand up was just a lucky night the crowd. The crowd was great grab is great. They were feeling like so or if I came up with a joke like lightning in a bottle. Don't do it again, you know, like or performance or or so how does that function? I don't know because I say that because so much of my people have been asking lately like, you know, you you accomplish something very publicly and people are asking like how do you do it? Right. Did you do it? What's the secret to success, and I'm actually here for that? The. I mean, my answer is always courage. Courage is good. And and you know, I feel as though like I feel as I do in the moment. Like, I have enough in my system where I like I go on I soldier on. I'm like, and I do make good things happen despite myself, which is like, that's that's basically what it is like because I have a responsibility to others. If with you right now, I have like we're in a working relationship. And I have I have responsibility to you to do my best. I have a family. I have responsibility to them to do my utmost. What's all on your shoulders for you? It would be now. I don't know. I'm lucky in that. I like respect the relationships that I have to kind of like like I wake up every morning and do a prayer. Let me be a good dad that may be a good husband be good father, like a good friend to others. And part of that is being good friend to myself. You know, and that is what's the toughest part. I have to like win. Like when everything you do. It's like the criticism comment section does not turn off. And it is. Monitor. It's my monitor. But it gets to a point where it's the the noise starts early. It's deafening deafening. And light it could be like make you like paralyzing and terms of creating it's paralyzing in terms of creating I will we will be making good stuff. But like it is. Because the flip side of this is regardless of what you do. I'm so I'm so the one that'd be left behind. Get out of here. Outta here. About the middle child. But me being the only child I haven't had anyone else. It's responsible to except for myself. So it was like if you don't do it. It's not gonna happen gonna get done. And the thing about it is now this year. I took a big swing on this trip. I took a big swing and like did something for myself. Did you and it was Defcon? One is one's bad. Right. It's like they actually lower. But it was like we like the frigging Bombay doors. We're like like. A covert operative aberration covert operation, you know, it was like it kinda it's been a long time coming in a had to make like a big swing? And so you met with somebody. But it was like, but the guilt that was imposed upon me is usually my trigger which is like semi guilted you. Yeah. I mean, my meal be honest, my reps guilted me, I was gonna say this is gonna share. Yeah. Like other folks that could do more for you. Exactly. And they felt a way. Yes. And so. I don't want. I don't I'm gonna tell you. Why I don't like this type of shit. They're doing it to you because they can because they feel like they they know your personality, and they can play what you that way. Yeah. And that's where I get you. See what's happening right now. That's when it become the fucking green, beret ran. Everybody's green beret and therapist who said to me one time that I had that same Brown versus Brown situation. I had a situation where I was in a show and they were like. Oh, you on the guy in here because you're black and my mom was like fuck that. And but you didn't tell your parents. So they couldn't even help contextualized that for you. But I was much younger. I was eight and Patrick said to me, and my mom was like. Just like grew fiery ways that it was very. And. And so. That's always how it was. Like, my mother was like when I grew when I was in preschool, the teacher told us we were stupid, and I came home until my mom, and she came in the next day. And was like that you that these ones. Where? So, but I have a picture of when we were in that we were in that show. And I have a picture of all the kids posing. I'm like being smushed. Yes. To the time and. That was my like trigger moment of like never again anyone do this to me. And so I don't like when I hear that about you either because at the end of the day reps. No. They have all the control of how to retain clients. I wasn't heard wasn't heard never. It's very rare that it's just some brash. Yeah decision. Not at all. Typically like you've talked about it. You've you voiced concerns. You've waited for action to take place. You've then done again. Like, maybe maybe when I said at the first time, I didn't say it. Right. Maybe reapproach it like, I feel like type of diary, let me reapproach it. Maybe it's my fault that I didn't express my needs well enough. So let me come at them a different way. Let me come out a different person. Maybe you know, maybe maybe I'm being too needy. Maybe I'm being too needy and actually don't even really need this. No fuck that look at what these people are getting absolutely right. Let me make that leap. I'm so glad you did that my God. This this is. This was not a part of the pre interview like, no. Like that. It's that. And it's it's such a weird feeling it feels like I like, you know, like a relate because it's a long relationship, and I feel I feel all the fields. That's me. But that's a human. But you have to elevate. Yes. And now I have not everybody can take the ride. I mean, my spirit animals the field mouse. And I try not to pump. Anybody don't wanna hurt? Anybody is everybody. Okay. I feel I'm not making contact with you. I got my back to you know, what I'm saying. So you're actual animal is no. But like year what you performances trona. Okay. So we're now we're talking Harry Potter anytime. Essentially, it's your personality. I always get along China's auto in the beaver, it's which is it's such as whenever I've done it or see autre. They didn't specify. Okay, that's fine. But I've done the China's charm tests, a good seven times, and we. It's one of those two because the paternity test is based on personality test that there is us where animals are what is like determined. They use animals like to be the label for your different types of personality. I'm a beaver Artor person. Okay. My well, my scalp tingling X me what my favorite animals. Get to the otter. I love them the mustache the floating the holding hands. We just key gut. We were separated at birth. Twin towers unite, but you were sent and I'm really not sure I mean, I know why. But it's just like I believe people are saying so this is, but it never been this obvious. Yeah. Enjoyed like keep record even like, whoa. We're experiencing well because I was looking for someone to work with as a writing space. I know my personality is very specific. So it's like you. It's not as easy to just be like. All right. You, you know, I'm like, okay. Who is the person, and I was taking meetings, everyone's lovely, but it just like didn't necessarily spark. And then when you Mark on the black. I was like, oh, and I was having self doubt. Because I was like. Find anybody. It's like right for this. Because me because the way I am because you know, I don't know our able to click with somebody in that space. And then when you were 'cause I always I mean, I think the biggest thing about self doubt and impartial syndrome. Is it always comes back to you making it about you? Right. And you deciding like how am I the problem here? And what you do with that. When you get to that point, right? Is the fourth and the road rent. Sometimes it's like the fork is I am not the problem. Getting like when you hit that point deciding to look at the facts, and I feel like, you know, so much about imposter syndrome is about is really an insecurity. I mean, that's what it really really is. And we have done side effects of insecurity. And I'm no, I'm no professional, but I really do believe that so much of insecurity is distilled. Once you just look at the facts and find a way to plant your feet in the facts to give you confidence because they really serve as bricks. Absolutely. You know, it's one of those things where it's like, you know, win you feel this way all the time. It's like you feel like you're out of your frigging league. Yes. That's that's what it is. I feel like I'm out of my depth. I'm out of my league. And so on but Ron soldier on because you feel like I have to do it because I've already given responsibilities like Murray you fight it fight. It all the time. If I give into it. Then I won't do anything, you know, like, and I just can't have that because of come to far. So it's like I think that that's what kind of takes people by surprise. Is like they're like, Jordan. He's cool. He's just kind of like, you know, he's he's status quo. He won't he won't try match. You exactly. And that's what people I think the vibe that. I get give off is one. Yes. People mistake. My kindness for weakness all the time. And then I have to like have to be like, no, actually, I have a trough of ideas, and I have to fight trough draw. Yeah. Trunk of ideas. And I'm like, I'm trying to like, you know, give like when I was like yesterday when I had this big meeting like my own mind will will keep keep my certain ideas out. But then abs- like what happened yesterday was I dunno shockers aligned. It was like it was really good. And I was able to express myself say what I wanted. And then when they asked like, do you think you can run your own show some day, and I was like. And then I was like. What about this situation that you feel allowed you to? Battle through the self-doubt imposter syndrome to get through to saying what she wanted to say because it was now or never do it say or don't say ever. Yes. But I feel like there are a number of people Jordan who the now or never moment happens, and it becomes never flew all this way. So it was like engage ability. He's a Star Trek reference because I'm like you're saying Star Wars, but you're doing Star Trek. And I'm I'm like, okay, activate. Card of the starship enterprise. When it's time to go into warp speed does. Okay. We all agree. All agree. We are living in a world of facts in a post factual world on which you okay? All right. I mean because we did aboard reference earlier. And I was like, oh, he's with me. No, no, no. I'm I'm in both star bores tricks. The federation, okay. So we're learning like this is like hard. Glass Stevie hang what more does she? But. We're not even out of jammed dropping yet y'all we're not even out of the gym drop. But the basic bottom line that I wanted to get to is that it's very interesting to hear you say that your imposter syndrome. The your your your work around is related to responsibility. Yes. And basically not wanting to let people down. Yes, I can't trust. My I can't always depend on myself. So I let you down. Yeah. You can't always about yourself to not let you down. Right. But you can depending yourself to not let other people and be there for others. I like to be there for other people. That's like I'm going to be there on time. No trouble. You're not going to get any problems for me. But like, but as far as like, it doesn't form other things it makes me go to the doctor. It makes me like, you know, like go to the gym. It makes me because I want to be there for my kids want to be there, and Jennifer my wife, I want you know, like, I may never know what it's like to be there for myself. But like, but now that I have kids and a family I can actually like get over that hurdle. Like, I wasn't in that boardroom for myself specifically there for like my kids, you know, like this not for me. But because in order for me to be the best provider for them. Yeah. It requires me to make the leap. Yes. Jordan carbos gurus like just focus on the kids. Do it for them. And like and you'll be down. What you can do. You know, what I'm saying like because they they folk. Lynne's they focused. This is troubling to me because. I'm just like DM like is the only way that we are going to get. Because I feel like what you're telling me is something that. Men's was in a world and in a patriarchal environment. That so often says like you are the best and like you just really are enough. There aren't enough men that I feel still carry a certain sensibility of like I want to be there in these multiple ways. Like not just as a provider, but just like a person, right? And I feel like what you're telling me is that this particular, I'm not gonna call it us, I coast, but this particular way dinking informs you to be like perfect partner. Well, no, I'm not. Like, not a perfect partner. But like it informs the type of thinking that a lot of people would want in their partner that they're not able to get from their partner because a lot of society just tells men that like you don't need like responsibility stops at whatever feels right for you. Yes. Yes. I say it's just like damn like, I it's it's sucks that you have to do this inner battle to get to that mindset. Right. Because. I think I have that mindset of like, I wanna be there responsible for people. I don't think that it comes from me hating myself. But I do think there's there's an alignment will also because we are twins separated at birth. There's an alignment that comes from just like. Not wanting to be an additional wack nece to the world. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's nail hitting. You've hit the nail on the head. That is exactly what it is. It's like I never when I was a kid. I never really like an I hate to blast my brother. But like he was he had trouble, right? Trouble in school grades and things like that. And all I saw was my parents on him spankings meetings with the teacher things like that. Because he couldn't get his lesson or whatever he had learning disabilities. So I was going to just go left with it and do the opposite of that. But I never asked myself what I wanted, you know, and in that like all I knew all new that. I wanted was I watch trouble. Anyone trouble? So like that is like most of what I'm doing is most of what I did was like reaction and never. Did I ever like figure out a vision and intent right? So it's like that is what I'm doing now. And when I when I do it now, I'm forty so when I do it now when it happens to be on. Yeah. So like. This whole area. I mean, I have. Harry at this out. Legit like, oh, wait a minute. And I had a lawyer. So foolish. Lawyer say to me when I was like twenty six he was like men don't start to really figure it out. So forty five and I was like I'm sorry what? And he was like we can be in the world. We can be responsible. We can show up for our family. We can show up for our jobs. He was like we don't start showing up for ourselves till around forty and I was like get outta here. I don't have time for that was like well. It's not about you. And I was like, oh, I like this lawyer. I feel like that's what it is. Like really standing standing up for myself, Ken wine rib. Oh, man wine rib. Let it go. What it but? But but like I feel like he's right. But I feel like this. This Jim drop is a really unique gems route because we've never done a gym job with me and somebody else where we're speaking from different experiences than that can sometimes a liner be confused or whatever. And I think that it's very interesting to hear you describe and Joe Jomon the daily work of it. And the difference of that and sell doubt. I think is that self-doubt I don't consider to necessarily be a daily work. And I think that's a way of of being and I could be wrong. But I feel like that is a way of really kind of Sesing like maybe this is deeper than just self out. Maybe this is something that is is a little more elaborate, and that I need to I need to address in a more direct way. I know for me is more associated with specific. Projects or scenarios, and I've always doubted myself and certain scenarios just because I've wanted to not be the problem. I don't so we have a similar set in that. But I think that you don't wanna be the problem because you want you don't want to disrupt. I don't wanna be the problem because I don't want to not be awesome. Yeah. Yeah. So if we're being honest, like there's egos those eight with mine like I don't want to be the problem because I don't want. None of y'all to be able to point to me and a lot of that. Because I will be in situations growing up where like I'll be the only kid or I'd be the only girl or the the only black girl or it'd be the only like loud one all or the outspoken one and like freshman year when he purchase my voice teacher. Purchase. Degrees that my species you're like some shit went down in the class. Where like everybody was talking only one got in trouble. And she pulled me aside. And was like you're always going to be the only one she was like, it's a room of thirty. They're going to pick out. You may even they may even pick out five, but you gotta get it most trouble. And I was like what are you talking about? And she was like you are just that's where you are in the situation. And the sooner you start to understand that the better, you can turn it from a negative to a positive and understand that like you have something that makes people be like, I'm looking at you. And I think that that speaks to the other nece thing that makes you be like, how am I going to manage this? And we both have been in those situations. And I I wonder if there's boils down to is like is there a reason to do right? You know is there because we're both doing we're both cutting to the same. Efficient as your. I just want. I always want our listeners to just have different ways of considering the things that they're dealing with on a daily basis and just like the also different outcomes and solutions to consider specifically. And I think that we both have a unique kind of entry point into getting to the same point. Which is I don't wanna be the reason this shit fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna do what needs to be. The reason fucked up I think we take different we have different tactics in that in how we try and prevent that from being what's going on with chores. I like it. I'm adding to learn from each other right because I know for me. I've had to take my space in certain spaces in a way where sometimes I feel like maybe because I've had to do that so much it becomes kind of an Assyrian spaces, and it can send the wrong message. But you say what you want and you say what you need. And I think that's really cool me doing it for the first time. It's like did it feel freeing it's freeing, but at the same time, I feel like, you know, like a pew Bessant boy whose like voices and quite there, and I'm like oh this for. For month. Like, it doesn't feel like things have dropped or like it just feels like I'm starting to do it. And it feels Mason and beard, but I like it. It's like sex. Yes. Still another thing. I'm pretty bad at all. Not. It's true. And just find somebody that sucks at it too. And you know, you have great awkward sex together. You talk about the highs and lows, and let's move on. I feel like for a lot of us in the beginning. Sexes like cool. But weird if like, you know, the mechanics of it aren't always as sharp as they look on television. You're like good as of a parallel Parker as I am at sex. I put a lot of effort. I don't have power steering. You know what I mean? I I mean, I just I I'm I'm saying this because I put. Because what you're talking about is something that is no different than anything else where it's like practice makes perfect. Like you have to commit to you. Yeah. But you have to commit to like, I'm going to take space. I'm going to take space. It's really reclaiming your time. Oh, actually. And I like that. It's yes. It's reclaiming your time. It's understanding that you've reached a point where like it's fair for you to do that. So many people have the opposite of imposter syndrome and self doubt, they are out here doing the most. It's makes people like us be like maybe like she's just sit back and think about a little more because I don't wanna look like them because they're bugging. Let me just I think it's an awesome generational thing. To like, I remember like being forty like growing up like at the cusp of gin accident, whatever. But it was like it was I remember ambition was kind of frowned upon like it. We should be made of sin. Judy. Dropping. Countryman then you actually in the current client disa- sidebar talking about George Bush and people praising him as if he wasn't a complete tyrant. Brings to mind, Mark, Anthony speech. Well, it's come not to very. The evil that do lives after them. Good is often with their bones, socially Caesar. Wow. Brutus but go on to the handyman skull. So you can do hamlet. Or not to be whether it's nobler to sever the slings and rages fortune and something how no man I do comedy. But like. This morning with it brings. The sun for several not show it though and talk of these things some Shelby pond and some punish eight for never was a tale of mobile. Than this. And romeo. Oh my God. I thought you were going to do that y'all all punish it. That that. The Franklin ferrelli shit. Oh my God. Both. Guys break to lead makes. From four to two pair levels. Knives whose misadventure overthrows the death by their parents strike passes. The continuing to the parents we'd do with their debt. Not good remove is now, the two hours passage of our stage. Why? I've lived life way downtown. If we want to even take it to another level short. What are you gonna Sophocles? The shooter sorta the Marta. And bothered evidence, which Likud of whisper to judge the floor Canterbury. Oh my God. Not the beginning. Not the end but the middle. Damned in. I have a weird memory like I have like an astonishingly like vault. Yeah. Like once it's in their it's in their it's in there. We're really I'm starting to see certain things go like track numbers of of songs on albums, which that's the first thing that I was like, oh, you're getting older. You're not really confident that. Eight hard to tell is track. On ill Matic like you might be. But it could also not be electric realization Maradas number eight. I think it's eight we can always Google it. But I think it's I remember I know that check the rhyme is track to. Midnight marauders. But it's okay. But you have to think about this when you have technology something's gain and something's lost. So like, for instance, I remember reading something about like Greek poets. Just memorizing verse memorizing verse like lake for days. So so much verse that they would have in their memory, and then written language like when Greeks adopted written language that those poets cried because they felt as though they no longer because the. Really? It's just I can say that. It's just okay, relax. Yeah. They're scrawling them walls that said, that's it. This has been a very spirited jammed drop. I'm letting you all know now that because it should so long. There's a chance that we will have to trim later in the show. But we should get into our DM tease where people ask questions, and we answer them. So many of you know, that I moved into a house, and when you move into somewhere with more space, you got to feel that space. And I mean, I consider myself like silence gal. So I'm just trying to cop pieces that are just like, you know, any o- pieces this article comes in so article is beautiful well made furniture, but is an online only furniture company when you're and you're like well. How can you know, if the unit here is going to be like up to snuff? How do you know there's going to be your style? Well, I can tell you from personal experience. It is. I I mean, it is no I didn't really have time when I was moving to like go to different places and sit on C since it on pillows and feel things out. So I did have to do a lot of just like guesstimates would this work, and when it came to article, I guess to mated correctly. What I love is that though, the pieces have simplicity, they're not basic. You know, they also have pops of color like I got some grey outdoor lounge chairs that fit perfect with like the stone against the pool. Then I got some pal. Bright, orange chairs that match with my kitchen space. And so I really liked it. Like, even though it's simple. It's not drab. It's not bland, it's not block, and it was super duper easy. And the shipping is listen when you join us your furniture, like you'll sometimes be paying the same. Mount for shipping as the actual piece. Not when it comes to Article, No matter how many items every order shift at a flat rate of voted nine dollars needs some help setting up. They have options for in room delivery, and for assembly assistance, and all of my favorite part. There's a thirty day return policy, which makes sense because you don't get the opportunity to like sit on the furniture before you buy it. So they give you the Pechiney to sit on the furniture in your home, feel it out. 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But at the end of the day, like we think I think a lot of us have been situations where we've done like super great that we think is like so that we're so proud of it. And then someone goes did you really do this? Like, you feel like what is it about me that made you think that I couldn't do this? And it's not about you. It's about them. They can't believe that you did this because they know that they couldn't do. That's really what it is millions. I'm trying to think of Zampa when it's not that. But we've talked about good will hunting earlier and remember the professors at I was like not believing that Matt Damon did the problem. But what was it really? You know, why he really didn't believe him because he was like, no one has all this not even me skirts. The boy has got it. You know? And it's like that is so often like what detracts us from really being able to to get out of the shadow of self doubt to really like spunk. The brakes on on improv sin. Interests. That's the name of. The whole other episodes. We need a couple of suggestions. We're going to warm up in front of the crowd of. That's okay. Sits in no way indulgent. Like, we're like we're out. That being said, yes. Put that in your world because. We are on this world together. And I think there's so much about. Don't really understand that concept, especially with the internet. So many of us just failed to acknowledge the impact that we when we communicate with people wanna digital device because in the digital connection. We have lost the human t. There's no that's what the in the log part is. So we've just and go about my day, and you just ruined like someone's entire weekends. You're just at WalMart. Just putting along and someone is home. I remember getting attacked one time so crazy on the internet on Twitter. I literally this fell Joe tears in my living room and my boyfriend at the time was on the couch and was like are you? Crime. Like because he can't see anything gives them know what's going on. He just sees me sitting over there. And I'm looking at my computer screen, and then I'm just like collapsing, and then he came over. And he was like. Because they were just going at me, you speech. You dumb busy. So the Qassam guy had like hollered at me. And I was like no dice and his little minions. Exactly what I feel like. Yeah. I mean, especially with life going into the phone like I had to create. Boundaries and create a way work arounds for my own insecurities, and we will get to that. Because the first question is how do you not allow self doubt to snowball into feelings of being unworthy and undeserving, and I spoke earlier about just the idea of like the same techniques, I used for getting over certain insecurities, where we we just kind of take our emotion out of it, and like step back and just look at like the actual elements that we're working with and what we do know. But I think that can easier said than done, and I'm curious to hear from you. Well, first of all they're like, they're so important, talk it out. Don't keep it. A secret to yourself off your loved one talk show. Just like, you know, talk to people because you know, if you keep it a secret, the the minute, you share it. It's less of a burden, and that's what it is. And getting perspective. On it is is super important, and then feeling worthy enough to share that with others is also a part of it is why sometimes I keep things to myself. Right. But, but when I have to like kick myself in the ass, and and really really share. And that's when it gets better like it can get. It can just the potential for getting better any situation starts at just communicating communicating. That's like, that's I mean, first and foremost, I mean talk to you mama talked to your parents like we'll talk to say space. Yes. Yes. And that's what I do. That's what I do. I reach out because so many times when people are feeling this paralysis of of this crisis of confidence. They don't reach out. Right in inward. Yes, go. They. Go inward. They go into their phone. They see what you know. See what what Instagram song about like? Well, artists will always ask often acid. What is your advice as an artist? Like, what's your advice as a creative? You know, that's pursuing a creative career. And I always tell folks you need to have people around you who believe in you more than you believe in yourself. Yes. Yes. You are going to have a lot of times where. The art or the work. You know is just it's being put into a void. And you're not getting anything back and that in itself can feel like maybe I shouldn't have done this. Maybe this isn't good enough. Maybe I'm not getting the response that I want because I I don't deserve. That response. Maybe I shouldn't even be an artist's altogether. Maybe I should go to nursing school and call it a day specific. I know. The world is nurses job. Absolutely. However, if it's not your calling my mom is a registered nurse or or she would say I had a professional. And, but it can be it can be those times that feel very lonely and make you not want to say anything. And that's when you need to say the most. And it's like when you have that support system around you even if it's just one person they can oftentimes kind of Kerr tale you like Kurt tale. You descending into the pit of unworthiness and undeserving this by reminding, you know, this is why this is how and this is what? And I think that as much as we talk about the negative internet. It actually can do that sometimes in the positive way. Absolutely. I know that a lot of my evolution out of the dark place of people. Don't like me has actually come from finding that. There are more people that are pre sheet my truth than I thought, and that I had some people I had a lot of people. I will say a lot. But I have people around me than I should have who were trying to dissuade me from being the the full south that I am being honest and the true because it was inconvenient for them. Yes. Yes. Yes. I mean, I remember distinctly like putting together. So when we did the pilot thing that we did remember where the guy on the phone and Jordan, just really out. Yes, he really helped me out with this idea. I had listened. It was very scrappy. I was pulling it from nothing. It was just one of those things in New York. You're just like we want to try this thing. And these people around me that I know do stuff to do it and one of the girls that was involved in it with somebody that I really trusted, and I really thought was really good at the job that I really thought it was good at her job because she always had a job doing this job. So nothing it was nothing for me to bring her on. It was like, but then when she was on. She was terrible. Terrible. She was a completely ineffective producer. And she like just the role of producer is to keep the production going smoothly to make sure everybody is where they need to be and to just consider the possibilities of what could go wrong and the great parts of what could go, right, and and depit, and we would have someone come to set and she would not prep them. So. You're laughing because like, that's so basic. A basic basic thing, right? Like we were about to start shooting the scene, and I said. Hola if he miked about the actor and the sound guy was like oh shit. Right. My bad, right. And the producer was like sitting on the steps. And I was like we're losing light. We have to hurry up like and at that point. And a lot of productions like politeness goes out the window like everyone just gets very like get done. When it was all said and done six months later. I was like I'm moving to LA we ran into each other. And she was like, I think it's really great that you're moving to because, you know, people don't like you and who says the healthy mouth. I've had three people say, that's me, very distinctly people. Don't like you. I happen from an ex will when we were together I had it from this chick. And I had it when you're six. No. This was okay two thousand because that sounds like so many kid would say and the other person said it on a date. The last person on a date. And so I I sent her Email the next day. So, you know, I just want to say that really really bothered me when you said that I don't I just didn't feel like that was the kind of way to like speak to somebody, and I said as Email attack because it was like, very formal the way I was saying it, actually, basically hit me back and was like, you know. I mean, the reality is that you're not a good leader and other because you correct people and not everybody wants to be corrected because their best word been there being corrected. And I think that there is a possibility that you will be successful in spite of this because I've seen it happen. But I Email Silla my phone. I'm sure because Email order, but she said all this, and I took it to heart at first. But then the self-doubt steps in where you're just like fuck me. I'm not a good leader. Because why would she was saying this, and I had to step back that? That fast that and this is what fair there did for me. Because going therapy helped me to know how to step back before the undeserving and before the self-doubt takes me to a dark place and pill. Yes, because the therapy helped me to say, first and foremost is this self doubt minors is someone else's Phyllis start there. Then. Okay. Are they saying that because of an action I did or something? I didn't do then. I then it's like if it's something. I did. Why did I do it? And that will usually tell you everything. Because when I got that point. Why does she saying that I'm not a good leader? Because I correct people. Why is that correct people because we're on a shoot where we have very little time. And you're not doing your fucking job. And I didn't say to you. You're not doing your fucking job. What I said was hey, can you go prep these people because they're not prepped yet? And you didn't like that. I interrupted your conversation that you were having to go do that. And so when I relive that. I'm like, no bitch. You're not the one who needs to have some doubt. She don't have enough self check. Right. Right. Right. And so, but that's like the the steps look at all those steps, but like their P helped me to learn how to master those steps to where I'm doing them like I'm fucking kung FU. I'm with the movements. Yeah. Very it's very it's very in the park. Why am I in your wheelhouse? Its muscle memory now. Very thank sway. Oh, yeah. Sure. Over here doing movements. Brennan's Taichi obvious. Wow. I'm amazed. So that's the type of work that I learned in therapy and to deal with people like that because I think that it was one of those times where she really's rocked me. Because I I did not see that. I thought she was my friend like in a very real way. This is my way, and I did not know that she thought that about that production and. You know, you find yourself in scenarios where like you're also still learning. I'm still learning. How to be a leader? I'm still learning. How to correct and the most efficient way possible. You know, I'm still learning all these things, but you want people around you that can at least at least can regard the fact that like you're putting effort into the learning. There's there's there's actual like, you know, progress being made sort of writing you off as like people just don't like you. Yeah. Bye. Yeah. But it's like, why don't you like, you know, why because you call them on their shit and it's inconvenient for them. Which is such a weird thing. I mean, this kind of like nobody wants to like take up the mantle of responsibility. Right. So Jared something else, I'm a healer. Like, that's the thing. I've been hearing a lot lately instead taking accountability for things like people like just re re. Was where I'm looking for finding new nomenclature for like their bullshit. I think. So what's an a healer an thinker? Was it mean in that respect? I like, oh, you mean like when people like lists things on their Instagram by mean like somebody like saying some shit that is wildly inaccurate or inept. Right. And then being like, hey, I don't really I don't really necessarily feel like this is like the best use of the point to support. What you've presented already. And then being as a healer. Oh god. This is what I do. And it's like, well, you've got whatever you want. But it doesn't make it any less. Not good. You're you're saying that they're using it to patch up or cover up or just give give some kind of like cover for whatever they're doing. Yeah. I get that. I get that my God. Yeah. It's like the difference between someone like if you're so bad comedy that after a while. You're like, I'm just a humorist. Then you're like fuck you. Okay. See that's about. Here's the actual imposters. Yes. But button Gwinnett fucking goop. What is that Paul tro? Yeah. I mean, she she is honestly said, I don't even know half the shit on the website, but she has people lined up. There's so many confab and festivals and things like that like Gook vegetables and people are like, I gotta get this shit. I can eat this micro balancer in my life. It's got the rose water and the minerals that I need and they'll drop nine hundred nine hundred dollars. But like, that's how Paul makes our money. I mean, there's the world needs PT Barnum's. I guess so like to me those are like carnival Barker kind of people right where they take the fact that we all lie to ourselves and make a living off that as well. So what you're saying? So yeah. So I mean that that is the occasion of saying things like I'm a healer this some of that. Yeah. I see all that. Next question. Do you feel people who sell Fabra Taj do so because they are full of self doubt or because they refuse to learn from their past or ball? I could say that. It's case by case. But most often, it's the devil. You know, you're happy with the devil. You know, like like if you have an opportunity, right? And this has happened in my career as well self sabotaged like that that plagued me in my twenties and into my early thirties before I kind of turn that around. So like, this is I mean, but like, you know, self doubt, and and just fraud the fraud complex, it it's more like a smoldering fire at this point. But like, but the self sabotage is being afraid of anew opportunity. So you are fine with the devil. You know, which is the status quo that door. That's opening. You don't know that you know, this you're willing to take this instead teams. I absolutely yeah. How do you? I mean, that's why when people ask me like how did you? How have you been successful? When I say, courage is because I think that it really does take a certain level of courage to step into the unknown down. I mean, we up on this beautiful hill in this house. I wouldn't be as courageous as you like this house. I'd be like I don't on this house. I'm renting this house. Okay. I wouldn't be as courageous as you have this house. I would definitely have a small studio probably in north Hollywood north Hollywood. But just like that would be heirless. Windowless? I don't want trouble. I would pay my written cash. To get over that too though. Like, I've had to really just be like boss the wallet man like or ball to the wallet. At least keep one ball safe. Scrotal safeties. It's. Vast difference between one ball of the wall to wall. It's it's true. It's true. I was talking to my to my bookkeeper. And you know, you reach a point where it's like, okay. You have to give to get. So that's in the positive way of giving love and attention to things that matter to you when people to you, but also like in the capitalist society the way, and you have to give money to get money. It's just a real at a certain points, a real thing. And I don't necessarily mean like give money to your product per se. But like you're going to need to hire people to create a certain level of officiency to advance your output. And that's why I'm very impressive. You. I mean, you have a team. And it's I know that you say you're learning about the team and things like that those processes are there like I oh my God. I I like I just like I fret over the second. That's really what ends up being. I think sometimes people think that when you when they see someone like me like you're just moving. Surely. And it's like it's not that. It's just that. By the time. I've made the decision I fucking sucked it up right to where like I'm moving. You know, I'm like Bella in. Twilight deciding whether I wanted to go. Basically when Edward comes back. He's just like what the fuck like, why are you? So pressed about being with me, like I'm a buck and vampire, I'm crystalized in the sun. Like, why are you really pressed about this? We've already discussed it like, it's not really thing. They should go down and she's like because I fret about shit. But once I've made a decision I'm committed, and she's like, I'm move with it, you know. And that's the thing. There's I mean to be it doesn't mean you're rigid. But at the end of the day, you you fret because you're gathering information. And some of that information is can I do this can I do this can I do this? I think for for those of us who suffer from self doubt in a real way and imposter syndrome in a real way. It's the person do this and other right person. Do this. Is there someone better than me to do this? And then you have to come to understanding that person. Yeah. But but instead of going to get. Say there might be. But I'm here right now. Gems bombs dropping. Yes, it's true. It's so true. I'm so I mean like, I'm a weirdo. Like, I've had the cleaning lady for seven years, and she's great. She comes every Tuesday. Monica. She's the and still like, you sure you want to do this. Sorry, my house. It says small probably find a better house like so I don't know. I don't know. But somehow I get through. I have no insane. It's insane. But then she's like yet pay me the money. So I can do the guy damn job Jordan shoes. Debased. Always on KOMO with the with the smiley face and a heart. Like, she's great. I've told the story once before when a cleaning woman. Family lab raider transferred. And. Like you hit it somewhere. I forgot to hide it. Okay. Gotcha. And. It was a lot for me. You're supposed to like not touch it. Like, how did what is what does she making bad? There's no way around it. Gotcha. Gotcha. You are you in. The house because I think fully I was not. Yes. But when I came home, I realized what had happened 'cause I just stepped out like it wasn't like, I sure I accept out and came back and was like because you know, the realize realize comes in waves. You're doing the math of like weight because she couldn't have. But then because that. Pods on the boil. A medium, medium, medium celebrator, and perhaps even had to touch it. And it's not to say that it's like drenched in Jack Elision, but. It was a lot a lot a lot further to deal with a hope he. And again, in a way cleaning lady. See me going down the road. And I'll see her seeing me going. He's not he's not. In a way did that bring you and cleaning lady closer? No. Did not okay. Created a chasm. We have our next west pay. Amanda, I'm in love with your guys and your Instagram hashtag just saying, but are there or were there any areas where you doubt, doubted yourself? And if you are over the doubt, what helps you feel I will actually talk about later in that one time about where that still lives in my work with just growing in romantic relationships and doing what's right for myself as opposed to being able to simply just recognize that and other people, but I would say in the workspace. I'm in that phase right now, my special I'm going through that right now while you're just like, okay. Is this really good are you in the editing room? Yeah. I'm going to the final cut tonight. This is this really good, isn't is it. I was there. I thought it was great. Thanks, not enough. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? But you Rockin it. I mean, like, no spoilers, but you had the outfit was correct. You came out. It was like church. It was great. Like you at one point. It went church, Ted talk. And then you turn it around and made a hilarious. Like you brought us. He brought us to places there were journeys. There were people like head like. Got like I magically had like a. A fan with Dr king on it. Like church reference. But it's like I felt like I was like what the fuck is happening. Like, you see what's happening right now is literally what it is to have self doubt, everything you're saying like, I see it's intake. I see that. You're not by any means like saying this alike. Trying soothe me per se like, and I know you were there. So it's not like it's false. And not the first person to say this nonetheless, I'm like appreciate your input. A judge for myself dude in the pink hat, though. There was a guy in the audience. And that's why I said this before say it, again, don't bring your man if he ain't a fan. Because it taping is not the place to win people over. You know, what I mean like come to the taping because you are a fan, and you wanna be a part of this experience come to the comedy club. Because you've heard about the jokes. And you want to see if there for you. You know what I mean? But so the I'm in that space right now. And I think that for me, and this is Jordan before we were on the Mike, but. I get into this space because I don't necessarily trust everybody's meter and your meter is like your version of standard. Right. And so even though I really at this point feel like I have a bunch of people around me who have a very high meter in terms of excellence etcetera, it still doesn't compare to my own meter and my own consideration for like what really matters to me. And what is like the nuances of of why do things and say things. So even though I get praise from people, and I appreciate it. My God to the fullest extent. I will always default back to. Okay. But are you truly happy with this? Because it doesn't matter if they're all happy, and you're not because at the end of the day, you're the only one who's gonna take the Al shit falls off. Yeah. You know? So that's why I hold myself accountable in that way, and it's a very slippery slope because you can get to that you can hold yourself accountable in that way. And then go into fuck I shouldn't have done this. And maybe you know, what I mean? So it's definitely something I do a very like conscious way. But the self-doubt is barred of my process at this point. And I oftentimes feel like if I didn't get to a place of self doubt. Then it probably isn't as good as I think it is. Yeah. So you if I'm way too confident Honey you need to go back and sit down right, right? It's every time when I wrote my first poetry book. I was like I'm doing a book called evolution and is going to be about Brennan just looked at me like, okay? Absolutely in college. Evolution and it's going to be my poems, and it's going to speak to my experiences and a little and I just knew that. I had nailed it. Fucking nailed it, y'all. I had like the self publishing thing. Like, I had the cover. It was happening. Evolution was happened. Tell me what I can. And can't do right. I'm telling you. I'm ready to do a published book of poetry. Okay. Whatever of Lucien. I went to see Alice Walker speak. Okay. And in her speaking, I was like, oh, so you ain't shit. Like, this is a master. And you was over here. Like, really like thinking that you had it all worked out, and you need to really. Go back in and go deeper, and I call it getting in the genius box. You need to get into the genius box of like, how do you make something that is more tailored to you? Not just on like a surface level of I did it. But on an internal level of like, this is something that's doing something for me. And. How much higher you had to climb? Yeah. And I and I took on the challenge. I mean, I ended up naming the book young, skin wise, mind old soul, and it changed the poems. I put in there. And it changed kind of just like how I was looking at the book, you know, before I feel like I was looking at it. Just like I'm getting shit done. And then it changed to me looking at it. Like, this is a part of your legacy. You can't just get it done and lot of folks operate from that space of just get her done. Yeah. Just get her done. It's not plow. It's not, you know, and I don't do that. And so I always have to revert not revert, but always have to check in with me like this meets these other people's checkpoints. But. Does it meet your internal checkpoint of its standard about what I want my legacy to be. And of course legacies. Don't really matter at the end of the day. Right. Like when you're gone, you're gone, but they can matter. Well, the commander to you and your funnel moments. You know, I was thinking about that too. Like, my my my golden years have I live that long for fifties. But like if I live alone. You get it. But it's like, you know, and I look back, and I'm like, did I do everything I could have done that. I squeeze the limit. Did. I do everything could done while. I was stuck in this place. You know, like that you can look back on and Phil fulfilled like feel that that feeling that you. You met your potential equal to it. You know, like that's like super important. I think you know, Hella important. Also important is one more question. How do you determine the difference between self doubt and intuition? I think it's like is it just like your ear wiggles a little bit like intuition. Like, I think that intuition. Feels more. Like, a statement and self doubt is more like a question. Intuition is. Yeah, it's definitely that. Nope. This ain't good Tinguely sensation intuition feels more action base. Yeah. We're self self doubt feels more static. Right. And I think that it's like when you have that question when you have that moment is it a question that's coming to you. Or is it an action that's coming to you? And. Even if you hit the self-doubt question, I think you can turn it into an action. And I think that's the fork in the road that we're talking that. We've been talking about, you know, for me, my problem, whenever I'm not listening to my intuition is me turning. What's been said to me in my stomach as a fact into like? And that's when we start dealing with the cerebral bullshit. And once we get in our heads. Also, remember, we're not like your intuition is your connection to the universe. It's very pure. It's very uninterrupted. Your yourself doubt is involving everybody else. You know, your your your your intuition is like your feet being grounded to the earth and feel your you know, when you have it's just like looking up all the SARS hawking ex you like no you should but you should shit, but you should that can be a lot to manage. They say intuition of intuition. This is I read this a long time ago. And I want to a Harvard study was probably like a BuzzFeed quiz. But it was like they said that human beings can tell when they're going to make a mistake like as far as dropping things or like, you know. Falling six minutes before it happens. So minus twenty really you can feel it. So I have a sixth sense twenty to thirty minutes before an obstacle or some type of conflict will happen. My neck burns, all my friends know about this. So like, I'll know when our flight's gonna be delayed. I'll know about traffic. I'll know forgot something I'll know like something's gonna spill etcetera. And I can controversial like Risi this morning where you thinking about that before I even came in the house. I knew there was a possibility was so weird. But like, I know that and is believing yourself I will look at it. It's like it's the same thing. Where like you see a dish too close to the edge of the of the counter, and you're like that's going to fall. Right. And then you talk yourself out of it because you're like, I can't tell something's gonna happen before it happens. And then it fucking falls. And you're mad. Here's like I knew that shit was gonna fall, and I didn't just push it back on the counter, we do this. How many do we then this? We've all done this. We're like you tell yourself like now, it's fine. You shouldn't just handled it because you were given a gift of being able to see things before they happen because I believe that time is only linear in this particular dimension that we're in. So the shit is happening in a much different way in other ways. But that's a whole other podcasts. Okay. I feel you. Like my bible. Yeah. I'm putting that together. But I feel you have to listen to yourself because. Yeah, you feel it push it back like push push more than you think, you know. You know, more than you think, you know, we live in a world that has made a practice of hurting quieting silencing people that know more than they think they know we burned witches at stakes. We killed the Mayans. We like this is like we like the native native people they make their whole shit. We really have made a practice of that. And so it's now like intrinsically trained people to kind of not trust that and not believe that. And I believe that there's no way that when we are made up of the same shit as the fucking universe. There's no way we're not gonna do it. Of course, the ashes to ashes dust us. Right. We're atoms. Like all energy is connected. It's like when you stand next to a piano, and you put your hand on that shit when you're singing next to it. And you can feel the vibration of the music through your hand to your arm to your body. And it keeps you on beat. And it gives you a rhythm. Not just because you're hearing the rhythm. But because sonically you have connected. You'll do got the new Kevin scripted season. Two trailer here. It's fire. Those real quick, man. Firday I want here. It all started within intern were still alive. Faster faster. Those monsters will bring real trouble. I saw the fear. Bother nature has arrived at night cherry. This is your Justice. I've been dreaming about this day. You'll wanted men. There is no Selva Asian today. The National Park Service always pays his debts. Guys. I ran. Man. You must be you must be Kevin. What the fuck is is out of the Whitman if she was weak Kevin scripted season. Two only episodes start Tober twenty-second on star. Burns audio subscribed today. What are you talking to you sound high off you'll address? Ass. So he's been that throughout the show. So let's get into people like Jordan. This is the part of the show where I have a guest. Sometimes I don't have a guess. But regardless I giving knowledge to someone who I like, and whenever I do have guessed the only requisite is I have to like them who this week. I. Thank you so much. Because you've been the same like every setting. I meet you in. So I really appreciate that. But also because you are the embodiment of what I create it's funny in black from and I really felt like when I started doing stand up in New York that there was like this very specific black space for comedy that was kind of like also only relegated to a certain kind of black comic. And that if you weren't in that space, then you weren't considered like doing black comedy. I want to be black at all times. So I'm just like why why is what I'm doing like not that? And I I really felt a way about that. And wanted to like. Do something action based versus complaining that gave more space because I felt like that was also just like diminishing to black voices. And it really just kinda says like, oh, we can only exist in this space and. Exactly, which has its purpose and its place, but it also should not just be like the one place and when I decided to start doing funny. I'm black was originally has showcase stand up showcase. And it was really don't. To find comics. Who were like, yes. Visit us base. I want to be in. And I remember when I met you. I was like, yes. This is a type this is exactly like the embodiment of the of the comedian. I created this four, and then I moved before you could just for being black. I dropped you off. That was my that will be burned my brain forever. We did a show on fifteenth street. And then it was it was like, Molly awesome show. Yeah. And you were like, I think I'm gonna go to California. Ski leading. And I was like oh good look at it's really hard. It's crazy out there. And then like then everything happened. I was like oh. Was it home? It was my did it can I like, I I'm not selling that car. I I just I I really even just recently like Jordan, I started working together on a project and. Is very actually self affirming to myself out to work with someone like you because I'm like, oh, there are like compatible creatives that that you can exchange with and I feel like what's happened. With me is I've worked with people who we are combative. We're compatible in terms of creating but they have like this this. Covert alterior, where they really just want to be a star. Right. You're not gonna get that with me. But but what I what I do want is to be successful. I like six I measures that. Yes, mine is like oh my God. The mortgage is paid in like, we can go take a vacation. And like you want to get someone. I tunes kid do it. That's my measure of success. Not. It's it's not crazy. It's I think it's crazy that I even make a living doing entertainment. So I you know, that's just that's how I look at it to this day when I go on onstage. I laugh, and I'm like you paid to tell jokes. That's hilarious. It's literally and figuratively like made up crack me ups. That's it. You know? It's just it's a world that I just kind of feel honored to exist in and when I met someone like you. I was like it's dope to be in the world with someone like this. Well, thank you. And. Doing smart funny. And black was like I have to say it brought me back. Like, I say it breaks. It brings me back to like black history month of my of my youth, and like just like being immersed in the in the in the in the diaspora of dislike like, be it. Like, we had like we call it like jubilee Sunday where we would like do like actually house, or oh, this is at church, but that's what my mother would just show out and she will coordinate the whole thing and there'd be like polar. And as and like, you know, like my Angela that. And it was it was great, man. It was like so much fun. I was like I was like this is my life. This is every year and every but then somewhere along the line when I got to New York like that community. It was back in Texas, and like, and I lost a bit of that, you know. But when I came back and did smartphone. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if you noticed, but it was like, it's I mean, I love the show. It'll challenge you, mentally athletically. Athletically, Israel, and you have to go back to the vault of memory for the national, you know, the neighborhood national anthem, and like, you know, it's it's a lot. It's a lot. And I felt like spent but great at the end and like each time. I'm like what? But it's only because my mom did like quiz bowl stuff with me. And like, you know, made us read so much James Baldwin are just like just all the documentaries and all the movies, and it it's a reaffirmation that we that. African Americans have a lot to contribute to the discourse. And I was like, and it's feels great feels really great. Yes. That land. I wanna talk about our next segment, which is that one time, which is when we talk about basically fem- within a very specific instance. And you talked about this is recent scenario that went down, and for me, I feel like my specific instance, where self-doubt really rears its head is not necessarily in the creative space anymore. I've actually reached a point where creatively I have mastered handling south out to the point where. I know how to kit that fork in the road and use it to wield more from me, you know, like the self-doubt now use it to fuel more ingenuity more innovation more even more meticulousness about details. Like, okay, you know, what maybe just go back in. And like see like is there any is there another level to go with this? And I feel like that's always going to have me like thriving in terms of the creative. But when it comes to relationship side of things, I still struggle with that every time that I find myself in a situation where like I've had it interaction with somebody. And like, I it goes awry, always ask myself like how were you a party to this? What did you do in this situation go awry, and I've had to really become very very cognizant of the sets. I take to that to alleviate myself of the impostor syndrome side of it because I have become very conscious of the fact that like, I know when I get to a place I have been super. Super thoughtful about how I approached it. I know that I've given warning, you know, like, for instance, the agents, I left the earlier this year, nobody could feel away because I did not surprise anybody. I had a conversation. I didn't see result. I had another conversation. I didn't see a result. Then I said, okay. This what we're going to do. I'm going to eat with you all I'm going to meet with this other agency both of us. We're going to have an opportunity. You're both have an opportunity to say what you're gonna do. And no the one presented better opportunities. But like I had to do those sets. So that I can be like and seen, and I think that this is what plays a lot of relationships because we don't apply the same thing relationships like an I have had to really really really really really really work hard at this. And it's still a constant work in progress. Because you let things keep going in a cycle that you wouldn't and other parts of your life because you still will doubt. We'll maybe maybe this gonna work maybe this will work, and it's like if you were if you were in a. A working relationship and it kept doing this. You would stop because you know, that you've exhausted all of the efforts. You've done everything. Yes. So why are you continuing this in your in your like romantic relationships, and I am an impostor? I haven't bought my romantic relationship. I'd had to work really really hard in that specific place because I don't trust. What I know. Right. Even though I know I know it because your gut tells you every time tells me every single time, and then I say, but maybe you're just being a negative person. Right. Or maybe this is a father issue had a lot of my work has been like getting out of my head, and that and just barely like planting roots in my gut, and my gut tells me about a situation, and you know, not allowing the cerebral part that steps in and only sets in for me for everybody else. I can tell you exactly what the fuck is going on to your shit. Tell you exactly how it's going to go. How you're handling it how they're handling it, etc. But when it comes to me, I doubt because I don't. Don't necessarily trust. Like, do you really know what's working, and it's only very very very very recently that I've come to acknowledge that and get better about look at the facts, you did this did this did this year's old. Yeah. You know, this this this, you know, what to do? Whenever I say shit. It's never coming from my ass. It's gone through a stage. It's got through several stages before it came out my ass leg. Never like, you know, the it comes out your ass because it's like you're talking shit. But it's coming out my mouth because I'm really like, I'm I'm not just saying things without conscious thought process. You can watch me interviews. I always take moment. I think and then only. I think that with the impostor syndrome, though, you will a lot of people also deflect there in practice gym onto you. Yeah. I mean. Yes. That happens a lot too. It's like it feels as though like the worst possible scenario is when you someone doesn't believe what you're saying. And that happens, that's fine. That's life. But they don't believe it because they don't like it like if it's a situation wherein. It's like a case of ideas. I've had like people just say, you know, it's literally subtext is. I don't like your because it's not mine, you know, like that envy. Right. Well, or it could be better than my idea. But I have the power and like your idea is going to go in the garbage heap. And that's it. Right. So I've had to like so then when I get that rejection. I'm thinking, maybe it's me. I'm too dumb like my shits funny. So like, I'm sins me a spiral and a tailspin. But like what you're talking about about. Like, I wish I could give myself the advice, I give others especially like professionally. Yeah. Like, I'm always professional like people be like, thanks to that device. That was awesome. You gave me some great advice and look out. But like, but you must feel that way with personal vice like you like, you know, he ain't shit ain't doing you gotta move on. You gotta do this that and the third, and it's like when only I'll be like perhaps. Take up too because people put should on me. And so you know, it's the holidays. Right. But I I think that's when self-doubt turns the wrong way for me in that space. And we've got a lot of gem. We've got a lot of people will ask him questions Pluess because doubt as it relates to work, and our personal lives can be very different depending on the person. And how they how we all manage. I also like I mean, just like one other thing, which is that as a man of color like I'm constantly thinking about M I threat to somebody. Right. And I think about like. M I corrupting situation by being in the room or do. I have a right to be at the table. It's a constant. Like program. It's almost on all the time. The TV being on all the time. And so like, it's so that's that's definitely a part of it. You know? And I'm just now like course correcting and saying like, it's all right, man. You can hear you could be the table. You know like when the table yesterday. I felt I felt right about it fell. Actually, actually like, this is okay. And I said as much to them, and they were like, oh, that's cool that you're like opening up like this be truthful insurance. No. No. Yeah. The part that I was just like this is really cool. I don't take any of this for granted. That's what I said. You know what I'm saying? Like. Yeah. Inch and fail in like just happy to be here. It's like now, you're happy. I'm here. Okay. That's going to be from now on all right? You're happy. I'm here doesn't take away from your acknowledgement of this doubt. But you're definitely not doing me favors. So kick the door off the hinge. I'm not thinking door thing. Thing. But I'm saying come through the door. Right. I was sitting in the power position now. Nice hesitate power position actually the middle the middle. Right. And they were like kind of to the side. I got the power position felt good. Got the coffee at the waters. I think so. How and all of this has to do with especially when it comes to black folks feeling like we snuck in. Yes, of course. Yeah. Yeah. And like the lights those weird lights in jail like the spotlight's going to hit me. Interrogated and not know the answers, they're going to catch you in a lie. And you know, I don't think a lot of. I don't think all that comes from. You though. I think society also helps to breed that I do that with women to where it's like, oh, like, you know, do you really belong here. Do you do you really belong here? And it's like, yes, I like, I I have the skills. I got told I was a junior writer once like on this project will remain nameless. But like after I'd been hired as an like a upper echelon writing position, they're like, but you can look a junior writer, and I was like, oh, right. I'm not competent, of course, like how can I become? How can I ever like spell my name or like time my shoes, you know? And and the person just said it casually like they didn't have to dress up for it. They're just kind of casually were racist towards they could could've done it from a hammock. Like, you don't know what you're saying or doing? But I love this job. You know like, and I'll get that check. But it's it's it's just one of those. It's one of those things where they just kind of like, this is what you are. Yeah. This is what you are. And that's it. You know? So they just decided like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're this. And then I was like not funny. I guess everything use as funny, then we went to the table read for that stuff. And the nobody laughed, and I was like, well, maybe all of us aren't funny. Maybe maybe it's maybe it's that maybe. Yeah. Yeah. We're we all suck. That's it. I have really been trying to work on. And this is hard to do. I'm gonna tell you just being conscious of the fact that we're all going through shit. You know, we're all going through step. So like, I have been trying to be more conscious of like, okay? Well, I have self doubt. And I'm actually winning right now. Right. So when you're winning right now people think you don't have doubt. That's like a real thing. People think that when you're popping that there's no questions it's all answered when that's I don't know about anybody else. But I feel like that's when the outcomes in most. But if I may already but your mom's like Christmas gifts. So I feel as though you've pulled the trigger on that. I don't know what I'm going to get my mom. I have no idea. I, you know, I see you your person that's in control. You know, what you're gonna get your mom for Christmas huger yet. But I also only have my mom to get Christmas presents oh shit. That's true. I don't have. Okay. Okay. We don't exchange gifts. Like, if we see something cool. We'll get it. But it's not like a understood like we're going to exchange gifts kind of thing. So that's like a easy play. I'm in control. I'm in control just because at a certain point I decided that I was only going to make it if I got in control. Yeah. Because the now or never happened for me where it was like you keep trying to give everybody else control like, please. Let me get a good manager that can handle everything. So I can just be over here being me. Let me give it a system that can handle. Everything's just be here being me. Let me get agents that can handle everything's gonna be over here being me. And then you realize like. All of them, are helpful. But only you are the master at being you. So you're never going to not have to be in control. If you're really trying to ascend based on being you. Like for me. My my career path is that it's based on my point of view. That's not everybody's like career path. Right. But like for me, it was like my point of view is the actual product. So I have to be intrinsically involved all the time, right, right? Pointed came like. You're not micromanaging. But you do have to be. You'll never be able to pass over the reigns. Ever feel though like at some point like, you know, how artists like, and this is more of this is a different medium. But but tell me what you think wiling look. Doing. Did you say that? Doing. I don't know what they're talking about. Explain I always talking about. Oh my God. Talking about the point at which artists go from doing all the art themselves to like creating a factory type situation like Julian Schnabel, Chuck close or a Kahinde Wiley like wherein, maybe they give the concept for what they want. And then they other artists are delegated to make the portrait or whatever this is. This is. Because we think the same. Yeah. We think the same. I mean. We're we're kind of like Jean grey and exhibitor yet. Same hours. It's just how they're used. Yeah. I love Rebecca's length. Yeah. That makes sense to me. Hear more exit about it. Right. You're very cerebral. Yeah. You're very like I'm in a wheelchair. I started a private school. If I could I would you have an intense like conflicted battle with your friend who is also dislike possibly Yvo, but Eric situation in front of me. Whereas I'm just like. So we both draw power from grace skull. I love it. I get a human refer everybody and. Footnotes pass everybody. Last. There's things I'd be knowing which is why am I special Ivy? Premiering on HBO January twenty six but when it comes down to all of this. I think the best way to combat self not self doubt imposter syndrome. All of that is to ask the question. Am I being a good person? And. You know, I personally feel like we've gotten very loose with like what that means when I think it's actually pretty straightforward Dobie a fucking, dick. And I think that. Not being a dick. Maybe wasn't taught to certain people. But I'll tell you. Now, some ways not be a dick be thoughtful about other people's feelings be thoughtful about other people's time be thoughtful about other people's experiences. When you missed the Mark on that go back and say, I apologize for not being thoughtful about your time about your about your experiences about your feelings, etc. Taking account ability, and so often with self doubt and self and self doubt, an imposter syndrome. We really just get we invalid on ourselves. We collapse ourselves like star, you know, and. To me like one of the best ways to get out of that is to consider just like what keeps your structure, and and for me like I will talk about like having a thesis statement. And my statement at this point is like sure you can make dope work, you can make dope shit. But really when it boils down to it. It's about how you treated people and. You know, I have a certain lack of patience I have zero tolerance for shoe pity. I have a certain like acerbic miss about me that gets misread as lack of care. But I understand that that affects people's feelings. I've had to become like a lot more aware because I don't want. I don't want to be thought of somebody who didn't care about like others, especially not because I just didn't have emoji speak their minds something to do with my daughter where it's like, you know, kids are so up their their their self absorbed. So what I do with my daughter is like she'll like maybe you'll see something that she wants. And I like, oh, what is what do you think? What do you think Malcolm with one brother would want which we get him? Oh, yeah. Yeah. What about Malcolm? Like like because it starts so young. Yeah. And and to to help someone be a person, you know, sometimes that was sometimes people just didn't do that in like. And that's that's it. I didn't get the opportunity to have someone tell you fuck that do told you only went to Brown for being for Brown for being Brown. And so you've carried that. The same thing that the the college story relate to you as well. So it's like, it's. Yeah, it's it's all this stuff that I've carried with me that now I'm starting to be like just focused. I can't I can't anymore. I can't keep dragging us around and like and Boreas good work. But I want to impart to everybody that we all do this. Everybody at all stages every healthy person at all stages of development. Does this narcissists don't do this outwardly? That's a great way of knowing when someone's in our cysts because they don't really present self doubt to you in a real way. Should I get the or the jet yet and gold? But it's a constant work. And I think that what we sometimes forget that all this work is constant place boundaries. And you gotta keep fortifying the boundaries. You know, we we make breakthroughs, and you gotta keep chipping away at the break through, you know, it's like the earing while you can't leave the airing out too long. The the close a whole close up keep you know, you just gotta keep at it. So I think this was super dope to have you be so vulnerable and open about this topic. And I hope that you guys. Benefit from this as much as I did, Jordan. Are you performing right now? I am performing right now. You can find me all my God. Why have you know? I have a podcast. We just got picked up by WNYC, which is a -ffiliated NPR. It's called adulting. Hashtag adulting. I do that. And I invite you to come on and be as already. Do it again autos, Michelle Buteau? She is my co Queen and all this. She's amazing. She's great. She's like diva tastic just get the hell out of the way. Basically got it. And she's awesome. And yeah, we just awesome. It's got like a sixteen episode order from the UNC. So we do at that's going to be two thousand nineteen. And then also you can catch me at west demoing Iowa at the funny bone on. New Year's Eve people. Yeah. They wanted me. They got me for. For. That's right. Not not to more. Not those the Moines jerks. We didn't win west of mowing. That's right. We have nothing to do with those eastern Moines. Mo- FO's we want west of Moines play. Yeah. Dusty ass south. I don't even know. There. No idea. Exactly. A different grade of potato depending on who ho born it's corn. I went to Iowa you did in high school by one scholar. It's funny. You say that and you're back because when I got there it was I called the Donna Reed scholarship and me and others had won the scholarship one of them being Brandon Victor Dixon, who is EMMY and Tony award nominee and one of my best friends. And when we got there, the the we had to be transported like an hour and a half away, and the chaperone who picked us up open the van door and said, I I've ever seen goes. Gross. And then it was like. All right. Let load up. Ever seen colored? Wow. His big trip. How how exotic for him? And when we got there. The woman who was like the person in charge. She was like we've got a different folks moving there's been a rash Mexicans. Oh, no. A rash of Mexican definitely one of the winners was Gina and she was Mexican. And she was like, well, this is pleasant. Very pleasant then we did a parade. And they were looking at us like. Wrong. No, you can you can have some Brown hair. But but. Way too far missing. But then they have this incredible performing arts center. Just beyond in the middle of Denison Iowa. Where all the kids have go-carts, and I was standing on the street, and I heard a rumble. What's happening? And when I turned around it was like dusk. So like, I couldn't make out everything. And I just saw this mesh of metal beast Burling, Ward's me an ice cream Belotti fucking murder, and like jumped out of the like, you know, you see like TV shows or something like jumps out the like onto their whole side on grass. I did that and like scampered back, and it was a tractor. This tractor. But it was like a fancy spans tractor that looked like an actual deceptive. Con. I don't know what it was. Is it like a thresher to it had everything had arms? Yes. Yes. It had arms. It had like an how you know some of the helm, you know, like they were definitely like at the bridge the con someone was definitely at the con on. I definitely just watch hunt for Red October. And which go to. Yeah. Where he wanted to go. The God damn he was the fucking traitor. Right. You're the cook was the trainer member was like. Ooh, there there at the nuclear reactors, and he like blows the cook away like. Honestly didn't get to see the last. We lose wait a minute. Now, I've seen it several times. Every time we were landing in New York for this. And I woke up and figured out what the intro was special. And so like it went out the door like out the door. And I started writing the intro turned around to stand like three rows behind me. I got he's like off the plane. So that was that that was this. Thank you all so much for another episode small doses. We're almost out of two eighteen I don't even know how that happened twenty eighteen literally happened it literally happened. And all I can think about is. When's the next time I'm going to have sex have a good time.