17 Burst results for "Keith Malley Hamda"

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

05:49 min | 2 weeks ago

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Welcome and Keith and the girl I'm Keith Malley Hamda the Great Jesse jollies will be with us today first of all. How are you? I'm good. I'm doing all right I. I said I'm good and then I'm like. Don't tell your good. That's very impolite right now, but I think I'm good. I'm not too bad. New Jersey made me think of this in your VIP package. You have the weekly show chewing where newsy asks us listener questions and he happened bring. Chili dogs when during the summer time I would take you know an ice pack put it on the floor and put my dogs my feet on every so often to cool myself off, and during this heat wave. feel like I'm cheating the system. There it is. There this. Can you tell he's from the country? It's wonderful. It's feels so feel so good. I would hire me. Yes, please right. You can chili dogs in the Army Nama citizen. I'm free could do whatever I want and wear whatever I want. The Gosh Darn Goddamn Dave. Hill show is on Dave. PODCAST was just on it, so give that a listen Dave Dez and Chris or joined by the awesome, the from Keith and the girl as they raise funds for black lives, matter and no kid hungry. All right Dave. Hill of course has been on our show. He wrote the theme Song Go. That's used on last week tonight. So, give it a download all right. We have fun. Have Fun. There's such nice people, and it's such a sweet conversation, and they have such a good sense of humor that you can you know they're? They're very like mild mannered people and I can come in with whatever energy I have in everyone's pleased as punch, and their audience is great, but one guy called up, and they were collecting money for black lives matter one guy called up and said I don't get it I. Don't get black lives matter. And that I mean if I ever saw three grown men like trying to understand if they can leap through their screen to get this guy who we can't see because he's on a phone call, it was pretty magical. Everyone's like Oh, is that? Is that where we're got and I'm just thinking and I know they must have said this also. How is he listening to that show? They're just darlings. They're just like, and then everyone gets along, and I'm depressed and but let's laugh at it and this guy's like I. Don't get it. There's not enough for everybody. Step on black guys Nex. He didn't say that last part, but I think it was implied if it was if it was anything if you didn't get it and you're hangers, show in the raising money for little people matter. Do you call them? Go why? Why do they matter I? Would you know if I really didn't know? I'd Google it. I wouldn't call them the show and go not getting it like obviously, something's going on if you spend an entire show to raise money for something whether. Or not it something. What is it? It makes me feel you know that saying you know know your audience. I think to the audience. We say no your show I. Mean it's just it's just a give and take I'm not saying anyone should know each other more but. You know what you're listening to watch. Keith is going to rant and rave later on. He's GonNa. Get upset over something whether or not you're so big. It's going to have the same response. Jesse's GONNA. Be just sweet, sweet, sweet about it and I'm gonNA find some middle ground, all right ready everybody. Why did Keith rant because it's my love language. Come on Oh man! We've been talking about this one minute at a time. The program that comes. With with members of the club and helps saying during a this crazy time, you do these different literal, literally one minute exercises whether it's a plank yoga rating down the your thoughts. You Know I. Heard this saying if you want to know what you look like looking to mayor if you want to know what you're thinking rated down for. For one minute you're doing something you probably haven't done in a long long time. Maybe since you were in high school so you have all these different programs you're done in fifty minutes kind of once more people to know about it so on Let's see next month on the second. What does that August? It's next week. August second yeah wow. Yeah so a second from seven am to seven PM eastern time on the hour for fifteen minutes you can stop in like an open house and check this out the full way. We do it any other day for free all right? Here's what I suggest Keith is always there early so pop in early. You know people say hello. Before we start, we start exactly on the hour. So give yourself a minute to sign on, and then if you have five minutes after we usually chat and talk about our experience, or some people just listening in on the experience, and that's fun, too, so give yourself a little time and also. Get your reservation now because there's only a certain amount of people per hour, so make sure you get the hour that you want the reason why I'm doing. Of them in a row is because I WANNA hit every time zone, so there's there's an hour that you like trust me on a Sunday. You can find it. Go to Keith in the girl dot com slash Olmeta thon I I I'm doing this because I really want you to try it. I really believe that it works. It's getting really good response the exercises that you heard Keith mentioned if you absolutely hate them, and when you hear plank, you WanNa. Just you know. Lay Down and die. It's okay we'll get you there. You'll only do maybe ten seconds. You'll be skipped that one, but just know everything is. Is One minute so soon as we start, it's over, so you can't hate it too much. I promise being isolated. This person says is so hard having a group waiting for me. Each morning gives me some purpose. That's exactly how I felt. I realize what I need I. Need a little structure like this I need a little structure. The person says it my data key mentally focused in happy. It's so easy to check out and just sort of drift through life when things are too much to deal with this club helps keep me grounded. Everyone's on edge. If you heard speaking VIP program if you heard..

Keith Malley Hamda New Jersey Dave Dez Google Hill Jesse Chris
"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

05:55 min | 2 months ago

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Welcome Keith and the girl I'm Keith Malley Hamda. SILENT TRAILERS BE PART OF IT June sixth. That is this Saturday in Canada. I am very very excited me to. We have some contestants that are of course professionals, and we also have contests that are from a listener, grew the fans, and we just did a Mike check the a little run of silent trailers with them yesterday. And you know it feels a little weird like hey, let's go have some fun together. I know there's a lot of chaos going, but I think we all appreciated a break from the noise. It's kind of like why play poker for a minute while you watch a movie. It was so much fun. Yeah, you're right. I I, I know I I need a little break here, too, and what's so fun about silent trailers? In case you don't know, it's Kinda. Who doesn't know movies? It's almost like sort of filed fireable. Doesn't. Loving ticket for that just if we're on the record, if anyone knows of its or wants to give me a certificate, I am happy to post that on my wall. She is I promise you the most clueless movie woman of all time. It'd be person movie person. OUT OF OUT OF EVERYBODY, yeah! Oh, we counted. Knows the least and she describes a movie trailer without knowing what he's really saying in the NAS the normies. We have to guess what that movie is. Can the just saw odd net flicks? Uncut Gems New Adam Sandler movie where he's playing a series character, he only says about he's GonNa come in his pants I think four times totally different Adam Sandler than as you know him, but and I got so excited as like looking me cutting edge. This just got on Netflix's just out. Out I might even be beating keys to this I asked him if he saw it I was like. Hey, I'm on top of it I mean if you talk about Adam. Sandler that's like you know. He makes new movie like every five minutes so I'm like in the latest five minutes, and then I was told that not only did keep it. He said in the movie theater. Who knew that I did because we talked about it? Apparently, on Mike on a show Mike Sherman with. Mike Shulman happens to be one of the people, but I talked about it kind of detail. This is the one where my girlfriend. She blames her messing, but as the movie woman over, she said out loud in the theater. This is the dumbest Shit I've ever seen now. Does it offend you less when I go? Yeah, okay? That sounds familiar but I. I can't attach the movie name to the story. So once you start telling me the story and the thing is is Keith his basically? I'm going this uncut gemstone right and he goes. Yeah, remember I said this on the show and I go while I should re listen to your reviews after. I see the movie or the show because you're funny. Thank you now any narrowly talking about. That's the one where Kevin Garnett the basketball player Mike. Sherman was like how is he in the movie and I'm like good. He's like well like how what this basketball player to what? He? He ended the buy diamonds and I believed him. I believe he ruining on a counter and I believed him. When we're not give time back in time to Adam Sandler I leave that. What I tell you then. Defending the basketball players acting as if I set a fucking thing negative then starts defending. Adam Sandler say. Maybe it's the best work he's never done. Which is fine, but you know that that wouldn't even be Robert. Redford Shitty Day and the next thing you know. She's defending the movie she hated. Listen I am not a black and white person I have. There's a lot of facets to my reviews, so yes, I think it is the best thing that Adam Sandler has done in that. It looked good enough for me to watch everything else like that's probably shit, so he didn't play his usual overly look, do character that was lovely and it was a surprise. I think you still kind of did a little bit. He Still Adam Sandler. His face still moves the same way, so the same sounds come out like he's still gonNa make the same faces, but it was a little bit less than his goofy goofy characters, but he's still like schmucky character, so it's GonNa come out, but that being said I was I was in I was in all the way, the I like twenty minutes. As what is this movie? They have me. Stuff is going to happen, but where's IT GONNA go you keep thinking. Something's going to happen and you're like. No just normal shade happens. Happens, they got me. This is great, and then it's like okay. This is like groundhog's Day, but you're not calling you groundhog's Day. You just calling it. Hey should is about to happen in the dozen. And then the biggest shit happens at the end I don't want to say and then, and then like, but the more I think about it in the more talk about it with Cirque sees the less angry I am in the more like it was a good movie like that Israel, life slice of life. I kinda like it, and I wasn't pressed with the basketball player, but it is a good point. What you're saying and I have to admit both perspectives are really fun to hear your review before when I don't know anything about it I remember I still laughed because it was still funny, because I still understood what the story could be, but now that I sai-. Man I recommend this to anybody. Follow Keith what he's going to tell you what movies he sees. He's always like but about to watch. Here comes the movie review for this that in the next. Don't watch that movie here. His Review. Try to forget it then. Go back to the review. Enjoy yourself all over again like it's your first time. I I'm going to ask you in a month from now. If you like this movie that's so fun. Will you know like right now? You? You would say no now right, but you don't know what you're gonNA think a month. Yeah, I don't remember the determine uncut gems. Like what is that a circumcision movie? What's happening? Did you watch the movie theater Keith you went outside? What the Hell Yeah. My Life is fun. And there's not an D- when. You see a movie that you feel waste your time. You get extra angry because this.

Adam Sandler Keith Malley Hamda basketball Mike Mike Sherman Canada Mike Shulman Netflix fireable Kevin Garnett Redford Robert Cirque Israel
"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

11:38 min | 10 months ago

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Walk Keith and the girl I'm Keith Malley Hamda how have the come on you're not saying this is Sexy I'm exaggerating but you get sick this weekend yeah and you know you gotta you gotTa Day to go to get your food shopping and get your you you crowd you had to I did cry I mean I've been having like really I I checked with myself I'm like am I just suppressing all this stuff and I I'm like actually angry back of my mind or am I just being patient and understanding this is happening but on Saturday I felt my patients I woke up and I'm like no I think I'm done just like a cold is taking it over yeah because it's like you think you're done because you're like okay my mouth and face hurt okay that's the chest that happens and like I'm out of body parts I can't nothing else can go wrong and then it does and here's the kicker I'm on antibiotics and prescription strength IB WPRO Finn every six hours hundred the sickness come in right what am I supposed to take on top of that Nyquil like my body's going to be like L. aw you break down you start crying what does he do pet you the petting helps okay like padding to really like on your head the dog I love it I love it and I don't if you've never been petted before it's it's probably like an ego thing because it's so sweet I love it you don't get I'm trying to picture just like have kyle do it to you I don anyone who's not being petted is like you're letting your ego not have you enjoyed this beautiful wonderful thing you're that baby I want to be petted yeah it's so nice you know your body sort of aching at my head pat my bad ah it's so nice it's more like a like a swipe right not like a tap tap tap no we're not like a football team cost less essences go get him no I think that's so nice but you know it's it's hard because it's even I've known him for a long time it still is a new romance nick relationship and he's like okay well I'm free today I can you know be around for you so anything you need and I don't know how to do that can anybody explain by the way that football asked happen for a Paean such a homophobic sport they love grab it s on that field the no one can ever make it make sense mm-hmm how would that have started gay activities Rome main thing I it doesn't feel like a gay thing obviously right but hey gay people I mean for this sport being the most popular sport you know the most popular American sport of course without question there's not one pro gay player well there was that one that came out and then they didn't make the team they never do oh is that where no homo starts really need to touch his asked to tell him he did a good job but gotta followed up with no Homo right there no I is that the only part without padding they could feel this you know I mean otherwise they'd have to flick each other's Dicks but I'm sure they're wearing a cop of some sort it's very strange where can you where can you actually love tap each other when it's not patting shoulders padded your head is a helmeted I've seen them like hit each other on the head on the helmet maybe Look my head is already getting hit with a lot of ways tap my ass will young people tried to sue the NFL for all these concussions and brain damage and then the NFL look what they do for fun to each other they bang heads yes so maybe they're like you know what we shouldn't do that so that we can't let's let's tap each other's asses so have you ever felt the need to tap someone's ass honestly never who I used to punch my mom's while she was doing okay you know a strange yeah funny not like hi thanks for being my mom of course really should have added that blood loop here's how you get them to stop cap in your ass I was in gym and we played football and somebody smack may I said thank you and they go okay forget this I don't know why did either when the when you're sick are you good at asking for thanks you want soup or you want medicine no I feel like I'm taking I'm taking it was way I'm I'm being a pain in the ass but I desperately want all of those things I got I got pretty good he's like do you wanna take a bath and you know I can at least Latte now not say no you know 'cause I have been you know prone to being no I'm fine and then it's like but he just told they were battling the this is the stuff that I wanna do for you and you're sick and by the way let me do the bath let me make you soup and said just sitting there and you're crying that's putting me out yeah but isn't that weird like what kind of what kind of fucking brain have we been given let me pal pink they're outside of the House of give me you and those things for you to shop in another borough they have the good chicken soup done just stare at you crime yeah I was like well I'm really hungry and I want food and I don't WanNa get up to get it or help you he's like okay like wow this is a big deal know kyle had a cold not too long ago and you know I got her to take one Benadryl but we're adults it says take to go one on one is live it up likes that living it up to you because we live in the greatest country on earth still believe it or not and our medicine is fabulous into medicine the only one not getting really sick you know real way so enjoy it enjoy inch and of course she does that thing and says you know at the medicine just hides the symptoms that's complaining about runny nose busted had achey joins it's the symptoms we hate it oh I got confused I covered the symptoms and I'm GonNa rock climbing my body was thirty but I would do that as soon as I don't feel anything I'm just like okay time to get on a bike let's ride ten miles let's have brought you don't take Nyquil then all of a sudden Eleni thing you just feel a little better please keith can you please let us be the greatest people on Earth by being more and I'm so mad it's like you said crying but I don't have another Benadryl and I'm like okay act like this is normal I think aside from the an including the ped- the the head petting and other pending I think you should totally treat your mate like a baby when they're sick because to me you don't want it right so crushed up Benadryl right food no criminal laws don't like oddly cosby her I did not mean to that I've been visiting more and so I see you know her kids more she has three kids even visiting her home embiid visiting her home oh you have visitation right I do the more than the ex- also I'm you know I'm over there and it's funny when like a kid gets bradey but then catches it's off that I'm there isn't do they like that you call you call them itself I assume any gender I've learned progressive Red so like she says before you leave to the oldest one do the dishes and you can tell this Goto as an excuse writer so he says I was GonNa leave anyway so there's no time and then he realizes that I'm there and those and then mumbles it so at least I hear goes but but of course I will do them okay wow don't respect your mother whose flagging been on your side for seventeen years this fucking asshole comes in half progressive calling you it they definitely do it for him and then of course the youngest were we're going to interview a monkey girlfriend Benny boy we've we've like interviewed him for the instagram story he wrapped and you should really follow social media it was just an impromptu they were picking up from the studio and we interviewed him Ben is the best how can you love him because he's in love with you the most that's that's why I love Kyle why I love things they love me do you get it the the what do you think about me I go what what do you think about me that's what I think about you that easy ben is the one who wrote two other class mate's when it's when it's at your funeral funeral I'm sorry I won't be there because I'll be in jail taking care of the person that the funeral people killing his friend what is happening in that school school city schools are tall I don't think so they live on the upper they are fine so he has a girlfriend now I don't think I taste that what I don't think they kissed but he has a girlfriend what they do look at each other and do honestly what do you do when you're eleven I do remember people having boyfriends and it was like for two days sometimes but they were here's for those two days and it's not even like we didn't really even have phone rights at that time so what are you doing like I look at you more than other people unscrew days the I've seen his textile is like you know I lived the first day I met you on the words going from this he's obviously doing the with molly away of just reciting lyrics you're my cherry pie these five words I swear to you lot of hearts and these texts we'll probably go the same high school in the same college's committed wow this dog's GonNa die you know galley they're not broken up yet well it has been a day a German teenager broke into a jail by climbing eighteen foot wall and ducking under razor wire to save a relationship with his girlfriend the eighteen year old scaled the building and to reach the the window with bars of course of his sweetheart urging her not to break up with him okay but if this was a fairytale we'd be link she put down her so he can use that decline I mean what are we being taught we're being taught at that is highly romantic when really it's psychotic right and it's a tough break when the your love is in jail and still says no they don't WanNa make just say yes great really could you not seen other people you know no woman jail obviously yeah I don't think it's good for us but this is so it's to me it's like if I was eighteen it'd be like wow oh sure you love me you just risks risk your life my life everything like obviously that's love because it reminds me of for example beauty and the Beast how he so mean to me and he's you know conventionally ugly he's not nice to his staff in fact because he was so mean they turned into candlesticks bullshit it and it still hasn't taught them a lesson he's just absolutely a motherfucker to everybody but behind those eyes fucking heating women that beauty just love books and he.

Keith Malley Hamda two days seventeen years eighteen foot eighteen year six hours
"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

03:19 min | 10 months ago

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"The shame shame shame shame Shame shame welcome the Keith and the girl I'm Keith Malley Hamda Alot him though what is that laugh at I sincerely thought that was something Catholic when they waived the the thing with the poof just coming out of it it is a religious person doing it out is in the oh is that like can you imagine that's what God wanted right Shah with everything we know about psychology now you are a piece of shit get her what's Keith and the girl it's an emergency meeting Ya I had the day off and suddenly find myself at work Keith Malley right while I keep got in trouble is parents his mommy called his Mommy called and he felt all bad and now you have to the football game I gotta come here right it's good to see thanks how are you it's I looked at the schedule and every show had guests on and and I I was thinking we have to do one with just me and show but I can't talk about the joker moving this stuff is in the back of my head -mergency meeting -mergency meeting yeah this is what Keith calls like this is what happens when Keith doesn't have a therapist yes and he goes I have I feel today thinking feeling ailing please come to the studio and work I need a place to put my feelings for those of you who are new to the show Keith was raised Catholic and everything went wrong from there but the most recent if is about how many months ago of six months ago possibly at this point Keith's dad his Catholic may be ex priest we don't know anymore because saga I'm not convinced that he was a priest but it's understood talk to him it's understood that he was a purse honestly the only thing I believe now about your dad is that he unfortunately is your dad I don't know now I don't honestly he would not have stayed you all could fuck off could fuck off and I hate to tell you this there's a resemblance physical features thank you and we can move on anyway months ago Keith's Dad got in touch with his ex wife an ex that was already divorced for two years got in touch and said hey whatever happened with you and Keith she voted that to Keith because she's been wanting to be out for at least two years now that their divorce and then Keith decided that he's going to be fake cat which is his ex wife's name he's GonNa pretend to be his ex wife and has been talking to his father for months side note father gets in touch with Keith directly while he's talking to his ex wife and just casually asks oh he's doing lots of trouble ensued there's like a whole what are we on this this season to this season to season will you can get these in one keeping dot com slash dad and new this is the terrible that's right by the way season season one is over five months yeah it's about seven hours to episode you can listen to but it's that was five months.

Keith Malley Hamda five months two years seven hours six months
"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

11:38 min | 11 months ago

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Welcome Keith and the girl. I'm Keith Malley Hamda. Oh by the way Hamda no you. Were talking about how you went to Atlantic. City can relate a poker tournament against stranger after stranger everybody having different different skills and techniques forty seven people then we played a home game and I won that one and I won- that when is the thing yes so grand champion of the World Keith Molly is here. Thank you did really well and you know you've very tough to play against to be honest and everyone says that everyone I pulled but it is very tough because you play like a crazy person which I know they hate casinos but it you can't predict what you're doing which is perfect. The thing is is all these experts that I was playing against. They play expertly right so you kind kind of start predicting. That's how they play. They start even showing their tells but you you're just a nutcase just like adolescent feel all the time so it's perfect people make a joke. They say I'll play poker. Someone says knowing that go. Oh great come on over. No you don't want those people don't while he took me out because he's like. I don't know this Dan you know when it ended with me and circuses. Yeah and circuses was willing to split the money and I don't WanNa do that might astle asa cut kind of but no like ultimately no. It's like a Keith is always like that sort of feeling but at the same time it's like yeah you should play because because you will play crazy and you are likely to win till fuck everybody. Thank you fuck you but yeah. He started playing like an asshole so he lost Today's guests featured on access. TV's Gotham comedy live foxes Red Eye Siriusxm the Edinburgh Fringe Festival why away a so so many questions questions don't worry about her. That was my no one follows me why I have nothing making their viscosity. CONGRATS congrats on the big poker win thank you. I'll take out okay so I know that you weren't willing to split with her boyfriend. She's GonNa Start He. He won both of our money back. Here's what so he paid for my end just because he was closer to his wall as I was closer to mind so we do a twenty dollar buying then he so he paid for both of us. That's it's forty dollars. He won forty dollars so afterwards and this is so not romantic but we're walking to pick up my bike and here's a twenty six that you could feel like you want uh-huh so you can have that in your pocket and he was like that's stupid but okay but then he put this. We have a jar of of like hey will go on vacation when we feel we fill it with like you know winnings of poker or change from our pocket and so he just put it in there we go to Vegan restaurant. Can you imagine that a Vegan restaurant charges money like a restaurant. It was a good restaurant. He just likes to complain it with loves complaining winning right. It's like his favorite thing then he gets to the right in his notes and bring it up on the shell my girlfriend I am. This is the best I I feel like I don't mean to show. I feel like I should on him. Come and the rows Yup. It's women power sinking going on. I understand that don't you feel about absolutely absolutely. I'm kicking him right now under the table at the ocean or at this restaurant. I find something that has teriyaki sauce rights who may be contributing. It's tolerable. It was delicious. She doesn't even get something with flavor because she's got this sauce aversion she goes. I'll take the out for I know. I sound like I'm so cheap. I complain a plane like this but for like thirty dollars she gets four vegetables that are she doesn't care what their rice beans. Lima beans. We what do we do. We go to the gym or something I think it was gonna be on your side but it is getting hard with no no no this Nevada and the waiter goes to what the bean isn't she goes now. It's been at the day with any. All beans are okay with the charging money does because it's food in a restaurant now because I don't drink. I see her not drinking making her drink. That's another dollars. It was very strong they gave me. It's always very strong honey. That's alcohol. It's strong it was it was it was a Soga. It was very good at martial people that do that but we talked about right like I have a cousin. That's like anytime. She goes and get a Pinochle. Can I get opinion. Okay we get it right but don't you do that sometime. I only do that with I- Yukimi. You give me an example like where's the where's the country. WanNa go to with me. Argentina hinting Indiana in Uruguay. I don't know if he's still does but I make fun of me. What do I am like everything else is normal. There's a lot of why you you know I was looking at a map and I saw I saw right safe. I'm Dan then. You get to say look. Why am I like it. It's cute. It's just it's funny funny. Thanks I'll take the Lima bean kind of you know. She never said that ever ever. It's just amazing that they can charge for vegetables right. It's Garnish but you get a lot. I once went to Vegan recipes years and years and years ago I I'm with you. I think the flavor flavor of the doesn't matter that it's not meet meet meet is actually less expensive than vegetables It's a lot easier to go shopping. If you're just a meat eater I think but he goes it was at the right not bad this like lots of flavors. There's different courses and he's like a bunch of great side dishes. Okay it depends what they do like they have a dish with sweet potatoes but they like they bake them and they put cinnamon and olive oil on top in there. It's delicious. It's really good okay. You're let's go to bear Burger. A you know what also what else could it be mad in the so the last time I was with her magic. We go to a restaurant and she gets she gets a steak and then the looks at it doesn't like it then thanks to our son who just gone trouble for lying to her about something so now the sun for no reason gets a thirty dollar. Steak family can learn anything okay. Here's the deal yes we we went to get food steak for the steak medium well and it was it was it was rare so I can tell by looking at it when it's bleeding that I'm like okay. I'm not GonNa this is not what I want and I. I had had some appetizer so I said you know. I'll just wrap it up. I'll take it home so I took it home and I didn't feel like cooking. My kid was like is there any food to eat and the other to hit eaten the rest of food when I was like Oh my God. Are you telling me Fed your song. I did and I know it's this gusts him even eat amazing Keith. She's she just shouldn't even sell it to her son. She just gave food to her son and his correct that is amazing and he fucked up and he fucked up he fucked up and he's still gets food in your house. Yeah Wow wow wow Allah. I will say this interesting this is I think it's not just a lot of people are like for someone who has such an aversion to his parents or one parent. He seems to recall he. He constantly compares his growing up to my kids. If I give my kids who live in New York City a little bit of money to walk to school with plastic bags on my feet like okay. Sorry your parents were a little like his mom still thinks it's the depression is so much going on and so he's constantly like comparing his childhood to mind and meanwhile he'll give away his childhood so easily easily if you said can I swap can can keep swap with one of your kids the childhood he'd be like yeah you better mom would swap. You can do anything right so maybe don't go. This is what I had to do. That's what you should do to your. It's two in the morning. I have for ice cream. Can I go out more. How old is this didn't happen. How when. How late does this boy like ice cream. Oh there was one. There was one isolated incident where he wanted to. I don't know maybe it was like eleven thirty or so. I said no but you know what I said to you. Shut it down now. That's that's not reasonable. No you know what's weird is Keith is so much better at raising kids than you very interesting because you know you didn't push any out your badge and interesting. He's just so good at it. Just like a national like he we went to this festival must be so thrilled to have such a good parent we so great when it comes out of your body of this bond and it's unconditional love it and then you need somebody that's practical tell you hey. I don't know I understand okay okay. He's not like magical in love with her kids. Sometimes I am but he he was on a ride with the younger one and it was so funny because it's like my son and then it looks like this big kid that got left back in high school in like elementary schools like L. It was like this big ass kid. It was just hilarious. They were both on this ride. Together is is one of those festivals stressful yeah those little pop up rods and so you enjoyed that like a big kid hilarious yeah if you could be. Keith it's best friend no matter what age you are if you like doing exactly the thing that he likes to do in the exact way so don't go to restaurant and take the leftovers and do something else but put them in your interface. That's not what Keith would do so don't do it. Keith just leaves food out on the street and then picks back up. I don't know if you've heard that dearly our food food okay. How did that feel so just to recap. You're going to feel like I was with the homeless. You're going into Madonna concert. You had leftovers you. We're going to give it to a homeless person on the away didn't find a homeless person. He probably took an uber there so he put it on top of something pretty high because he's tall when you came out of the concert. It's still was in the same shape the same way that he left it so he took it back in eight. It was something like it looked like that's doing but in my brain would please. I must be seeing things. That's not what I was doing. That's not what he's doing. Oh my God he's doing it. Are you okay with telling anyone about this. Did you tell any of your friends. I know and I recommended. I said I said to him because I know he shares to all the listeners out there. He shares everything that you guys and I remember thinking to myself. Don't maybe don't mention this one on the show and he goes Oh. This is part and like you're going to help people about this league. You're okay I just we all have weird shit about arson some things we keep to ourselves. I just thought that would have been a private. Do you see why the show's called Keith and the girl. It's very embarrassing very embarrassing but he's your article and explain it away. I don't I really wish I I said to him. I'm like you know. There's so many good fun things about you that I guess I guess we'll let this just be one of the cons like if you do a list of pros. There's a lot of pros and then there's like this weird. She was disgusted. I picked the dime off the ground the other day. Yes okay that's right. You're wrong. You're so wrong. I'm even okay with this food thing but it's too much fun to make fun of so. I pretended not Bianchi side but that's a dime. I mean Okay I. Where was it was in the subway. Don't give me the Jew is we've. WHA- which is better than the other ground yes. It was the subway ground all right. It's a dot is money and you know what you're telling the universe you don't. Oh whoa money you believe in. I'm not telling university. I think there's interesting because he's not cheap. He's very generous. Whenever we go out we you know he's he always even like I remember you you and carry out one time for Brunch and carries like yeah..

Keith Keith Malley Hamda Keith Molly Dan Gotham Edinburgh Fringe Festival New York City Soga Pinochle Nevada Argentina Indiana Bianchi arson Uruguay forty dollars thirty dollars thirty dollar twenty dollar
"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

01:32 min | 1 year ago

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"<music> welcome to keith and the girl. I'm keith malley hamda and the how are you. I'm all right. What's going on on well right before the show of course there's a painter's right outside the literal window making bonk's and bangs and you know they have the whistle to each other for attention attention. You know to move the scaffolding over this way and that way and so i'm thinking well. I don't know that we can do a show this way and so and we have a guest with <hes> you know adds to the questioning and says okay but i'm not sure what to do. You know i'm ready to kill myself. I'm going crazy. You know what should we do and i go okay in that case. We can't do the show well that wasn't the answering goes no okay we have to do the show blah blah blah so then every so often every five seconds. There's absolutely no noise choice and hannah's like keith. Are you ready. It's only been five seconds and she goes keats. You're so sensitive to the set. You can't hear anything i understand. I have this super hearing. I can tell somebody who's literally rolling paint on a wall without looking very special but let's not act like the other bonk's warren happening so now i don't know when the take the other stuff a certain way and don't ask me for advice when i give it you go. No that wasn't an option. That's asking your partner <unk> out saying hey you wanna go for dinner and they keep going down a different alleys. You're trying. Take him to the restaurant. I sincerely didn't think that's what was happening. I definitely heard the banks. I wasn't trying to deny them and then when they stopped happening for five seconds instead of feeling hopeful and i was sharing in the hope..

keith malley hamda warren partner keats hannah five seconds
"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

02:59 min | 1 year ago

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"What can the Keith and the girl. I'm Keith Malley Hamda of another new guest for you think you're gonna like it featured on N._B._C.'s late night with Seth Meyers Brian Mitchell hello how Saudi play. I think I'M GONNA go with Hoti Dodd ingratiate myself. I was watching your stand up. Congrats on everything but thank you. I think you're great you. Were talking about how being a Jehovah's Witness with interest me. My Dad was a Catholic priest. I notice in general the people I meet that grew up. Religious are the opposite. Am I right on that. You're correct okay. Yeah you hide one to get out of right well. I'm looking up Jehovah's Witness and I'm I'm. Is this the same as Mormon in the same as anything else. I've heard of so I type in. It's not but I type in our Jehovah's Witnesses and guess what auto corrects are auto fills in the very first thing are Jehovah's Witnesses black that that means a lot of people are looking for black drove was witnesses right this. It doesn't mean people have never saw one and they're they're asking. Could they included. I've seen a lot of block Jehovah's Witnesses so I think the opposite I think that <hes> it seems like aww television and this is. I met our block I would. That's what I from being in New York for the last couple years. I've seen only black droves witnesses so I I guess guess I guess in the Mid West like my my congregation was completely white so I kind of I guess I get that. It's coming from the Midwest. I think think about it and thank you for making me think about it. I only knew one white Jehovah's witness but it's not like it's not a new a ton of Jehovah's Witnesses. They tend to stay in their own pack like I imagine liquid even we. I worked with a couple of them and they were not having a lot of shit so we changed is the party at the end of the year instead of a Christmas party to like an end of the year party which is very nice. Well I think yeah 'cause why are we celebrating like it was a Jew owned company company. This also another auto fill is our Jehovah's Witnesses Christians <hes> do they believe in Christ and you know that we know these people typing it in. What can I give them a break. The police believe in Christ. Don't they do that. They do Christ you got to have Christ. Jehovah uh-huh is Jesus Son. Jesus had a son in this one. Oh God God God is Jesus Son Right got got his Jesus son. Yeah God right here okay number one depth chart and then Jesus okay right and then Jesus had a son now I I think there was some confusion here. I think so you're saying God yes and then then God had Jesus correct okay so there's a little confusion there yeah we got to the bottom of what did they tell.

Jesus Keith Malley Hamda Mid West Hoti Dodd Seth Meyers New York N._B._C. Brian Mitchell
"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

02:38 min | 1 year ago

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"<music> welcome to Keith and the girl. I'm Keith Malley Hamda this Monday. Not only are we having a Chad party he but we're competing were will be playing the newlywed game which we've done before to a great success. It's everybody's favorite time of the year. Everyone walks away crying. Yes well it was me and my wife at the time against against and and Hennessy her husband at the time we weren't married while we played well no problems anyways my we played the game now. No one's together. That's right so we're going to do it again. I kind of hope I lose this time. Because last time I won and I lost in that marriage in Kyle and I against Canada zirk sees very exciting and hosting it will be Andrea Allen. Oh my goodness Oh and she knows how to make people cry. So this Monday night seven pm eastern just go to our youtube channel. It's tender Keith and the girl and if you can't find that just always go to our website keeping the goal dot com there you have it. I don't forget about the free APP. It is laughable. Dot Com you subscribe to a podcast. You can also subscribe to a person so if you subscribe griped Keith Malley where it hemmed up. You'll hear us on any podcast of any kind that we've ever been on for example. I'm on Donte. Narrows podcast just came out. It's now called man school two. Oh two and the title of that show is catfish in your dad. We'll keep you can hear that right free APP. What was their response to that draws on the floor yeah weird one to retail right because we've normalized it in the studio which is like? Let's hear from Keats Dad again but all let's stuff to be relating in twenty minutes to an hour is crazy. I think you'll like all right today's guest he's been on M._t._v. c._N._N.. The Los Angeles Times C._N._B._C.. People magazine Buzzfeed T._B._S. is New York comedy festival then the more <hes> and that was so much. Thank you congratulations. Oh yeah that's mostly just like tweets being in places okay. I'll humble myself off of that I have I have some tweets. We'll we'll go through last time Um you were on. It was the first time you're on twenty. First twenty seventeen wow and you were talking about <hes> sobriety was a conversation. You have been sober for five months but at the time you were you were still drinking. Is that something you're looking into because you lost a lot of weight. Thanks to SEAL EAC disease. Yes Celia for you. All the gluten gluten has been everything..

Keith Keith Malley Hamda Keith Malley Andrea Allen youtube Chad Los Angeles Times Hennessy Celia Kyle Donte New York Canada twenty minutes five months
"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

03:33 min | 1 year ago

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Hey. Welcome the Keith. And the girl I'm Keith Malley Hamda. I know today's poll already I've been talking about my dad rating behind my back to my ex wife divorced of two years. Not like they're pals. This isn't the kind of and her ex father in law. They don't have that kind of connection, and it was very strange to me when my dad wrote high hope that all is well with you don't mean to exceed Ingley nosy, but what happened between you and Keith your former father in law, Mike, Molly. And I've been saying what I think I'm gonna do. I'm gonna start a fake Email account and act like I'm her and see where that goes. So today's poll will be we'll keep actually do that. So think they're listener will I actually go through with that? Answer's yes. I have you texting me what you did this morning. And I'm I'm disappointed at myself at how excited I am out. So I think this makes me bad person. Maybe my mcgurk for now Kyle is not pleased that I'm doing it. How what kind of not police because I was going to ask you first of all I was gonna ask you when you read the letter to pretty much everybody in your life. Does anyone respond like you blown south? This is your dad, you know, he's just trying to reach out. Everybody thinks you're supposed to take the high road. They know what he did was wrong. So they are grossed out by. But let it go. Right. Okay. So I think didn't know if I thought it was mean, and I assured her that I knew it was. And that contra down a little bit. But it's still because it's like, wait. You know, you're monster that seems mean go it is. Yeah. Okay. What's the other word? Nice. It's not nice. I understand the relief are though baby. I'm not a psychopath. Right. It's mean, it's like a it's like a different psychology necessarily sociopath. So Finally, I write to then she become okay with it. She understands like, okay. This is thing. Right. Like, this is your comedy. But I'm not going to get to include her in the fun is what it sounds like. Okay. You know, I understand that. It's very, you know, what also she's a mom. So I'm sure she's imagining, you know, her kids retaliating because this is retaliation. Maybe people do think like that. Right. But it's not she would never do something like this. She's just one. And then people that think that I shouldn't do it are like he's all men, which is never an excuse to me. I mean, he's been in old man, all your life. Right. You have the same age difference between you now then. When you were born. So he's always been this old to you. He seventy nine Barbara Walters is eighty nine you know, she's still makes sense. She really, yeah. All what is she drinking in the morning to come Lisbeth Hasselbeck? You know, what who welcome come to? All right. I knew I would the thing is I talked too much to Andrea before the show and her her material is like there's something about drinking of common. Okay. Very. To something more tolerable me acting like I'm my ex to my dad some of that's going smoother. So. Okay. So you created an Email address under her name your Xs name with your Xs permission. I think that's very important. Yes. Yes. And now, you're you sent a letter sent an Email. Although you dad believes it's a letter sent an Email to your dad as if you were cat this was after work yesterday. I get home. I'm like, all right. Let me finally do it..

Keith Malley Hamda Barbara Walters Molly Andrea Ingley Kyle Lisbeth Hasselbeck Mike two years
"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

03:50 min | 1 year ago

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Hey. Welcome to Keith. And the girl I'm Keith Malley Hamda. We just of course, had Super Bowl fifty three. I boycotted it. So nothing to talk about they're doing. I'm gave you your Super Bowl. Party was good. Are we not allowed to mention it? Because you lost. I was watching with the blindfold on like bird box. I'm telling you. Support capper neck. I don't support the treatment of these players. I don't support. I mean, it's black history month, and we're sitting there watching football. I don't sport bad calls by wraps. I can't be complicit here announced that you're a very good person. Thank you know. Thanks to football. All right. We'll get to it. But first, let me tell you this. I was on the phone with my parents over the weekend for quite a while over two hours easily, and I hope that one day, you know, parallel. I'd learn something we'll parents need to hear this kind of talk. Because at some point we were all kids, and then some people have kids, and then they become the parent. And then they do the same shitty things. Just wanna listen to Keats wording of this. Like, it's a big event. I was on the phone with my parents texting. And it's always, you know, clocked in the first thing you do after you get off the phone with them is look at the time. Right. And then you announce it like, hey, look, we didn't kill each other through the phone. I assume will I? We didn't coach either and to be on the phone for over two hours. And I'd say at least two and a half in fact, and that's long if you're on the phone with anybody that just means as a stand up comedian, I have two and a half hours of material because there's no real talking of any kind. It turns into skin bits right to keep their attention. Now. Funny because I think around in January February use should always give a call to your parents. Because that's when you're writing for your April show, right? No. It got a little God little Deepa times where I'm like, you know, what here's some questions. I don't know why I'm not asking. Like who was the alcoholic and our family? Was it? Everybody was everybody wasn't it. Well, it it's kind of hard to get an answer. Because then it's like, well, son, my son my father. He would he would partake a little too much. Like was he abusive know until you know, that's that's not like a firm. No. That's not a no, let's say you're asking your daughter who's nine did your uncle touch. You. Not the way you mean. I'll be like let's go with the way you me. Yeah. Let's find something anything then. We'll try to figure it out. So I don't know. I love these puzzle pieces. Yeah. It's somewhere. The parents are great grandparents and only one person like they they wouldn't really say. But I did get did both your mom and dad chime in a little bit about your mom's history with alcohol as she said. There was no what are you know? Are you serious ride to me what you say who was in front of me and the boys? I Mark was there. I think Mike was there, and you were there, and she was crying, and you all did not handle it would even okay out of nowhere. We were sitting in the living room of your parents home. She started talking into I think because we wanted to throw a party at your parents house, and they were really adamant about no booze show. She went into like, why her father drank? And when he drank he became like, an actual asshole. And did something like lock. Mother out of the house because we sell like belligerent like she would. I didn't ask did anybody lock anybody out of a half more specifically abuse. Yeah. Bring your female energy outright because he used to just like one time you guys left me alone with her. And I'm like who you're saying the whole bunch shit. Am I allowed to know this like she would just say how she felt about like marrying your dad, and like, you know, just what she thought about when they first got married and later and having kids, and I'm like, are you.

Keith Malley Hamda football Keats Deepa Mike Mark two hours one day
"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

03:53 min | 1 year ago

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Hey. Welcome to Keith. And the girl I'm Keith Malley Hamda the other day come they recommended Adam Sandler special? Yeah. Are you nervous to say things like that out loud? It's called one hundred percent fresh in my friend. Adam said, I'm eight minutes in this is the dumbest thing of. Sailly scientific version as my best pal. And so I get nervous. And then Andrea today said she saw half of it and his loving it. Go Kay good. Yeah. That's that's high praise and doesn't give it to people. And I'm on. Here's where I am with Adam Sandler, he has four stand the Bible's, they're older. Now, they were all great for if not five the early movies were fantastic, Billy, Madison, happy Gilmore, and then the movies like we all know zero percent on rotten tomatoes. No exaggeration fully south watch. Yeah. It's like a child wrote them. And then I don't know. But now he's doing stand up doing some songs against. Let's see how this was I loved it. Now. What is funny is that he's definitely trying to start a catchphrase or nickname for himself. I love when you can see that. So clearly, and when I say love, I'm so embarrassed for you when that happened. He tells the thirty joke, and then he's like oh saying man, you did it again. And then five times later, he calls himself Sanmen. He's obviously trying to start. Something. Hannemann Adams the Middle East, the Sandman Sandler. So I picture like he goes into like he knocks on friends housing, the Sandman tears k Adam saying man say it, maybe his next movie is going to be called San. I'll no. But I don't think anybody's call them the sand. Man. Do you know that you started this with saying that it's the greatest and then you're giving me this shit? It's only seven times says it. Everything else is fantastic. That's pretty good. All right. Today's guest and there, and that ends our review Porsche Get. tell you. So you don't say. Our next guest, by the way, saw star is born and was loving that which I didn't really understand. And then she was breaking down. What don't you like about it? And I realized I don't like country music music, piano. Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper, eat only, Bradley Cooper, Andrew dice, clay, not cursing. Feelings suicide bizarre things that well now, it's a spoiled. Now, it is I could have been saying anything. All right. Today's guests featured in the Huffington Post on the comedy album with my love Kyle called three's company comedy comedy, by the way. Do you regret that title because anybody getting it right or just I'm gonna set up time? I love I love the people get it wrong. And it adds it imprint into your cortex that way threes comedy. Will. I'm seeing you know what I was like why three's company going high on the charts? For telling us. Yeah. We did go high in the charts, by the way, we weren't number two. That's right, author of the book how to spy on your neighbor your survival guide for the United States of Russia. We need Vicky Cooperman. Thank you so much for having me. It's nice to see Vic. So your book came out about a year ago. Yeah. May came out the day Komi was fired may nine also Russian big holiday in Russia when they won World War Two because Russians claim everything and they say, okay, Vicki knows Russia's studied Russia. Maybe we can make a funny book out of this. And they probably need the turn around very fast fast, my best friend, and I co wrote it she's from the Ukraine, so she's a southerner, I'm a northerner cow. So I can't understand anything. She says she has an excellent that's fun. Just kidding understand her. We co wrote it where like it was inauguration day. We're like we gotta do something. This is crazy right and Russia. I just gotten in the eighties. It's like I just gotten over that. Like Russia was the villain the.

Sandman Sandler Ukraine Adam Keith Malley Hamda Vicky Cooperman Middle East Hannemann Adams Huffington Post Porsche Lady Gaga Andrea Billy Bradley Cooper Gilmore Madison United States San Kyle Komi
"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

02:04 min | 1 year ago

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Hey. Welcome to Keith. And the girl I'm Keith Malley Hamda, ladies and gentlemen, featured on comedy central's funny because it's true true. TV's comedy knockout Conan. Rojo press. Hey, all those were true. Three lies in there. Yeah. Happy Halloween, buddy. Thank you happy. Happy. Devils played. Do you get into it at all? I can't stand. It's up. Ny don't. I was affect kid. So I never had good costumes like the best cost of my head was the penguin. Danny devito penguin. Okay. And that ruin the whole thing for me, you just wa- around eight year old. There's no way you're gonna love this other. They have to that. I was saying the other day. How weird New York City is where I see people in like a hockey mask. And I'm like, oh Holloway took me as says register and again. Yeah. Yeah. Not just some of these regular day the day, you get into it at all me. No. Because I was a kid party entertainer for like twelve thirteen years. I had to dress up for kids constantly, it was polka haunt. I was a clown. I was a referee. I was whatever the fuck. They wanted me to be in. So by the time it came to a holiday that. I just have formed just like pay me. Do you? Did you own all these costumes or these rentals? I worked for agencies. It kinda worked like how you act like people ask you if you're available at a certain time and the either provide a costume or you have a couple. Okay. Yeah. You do it. Yeah. I know. I was just think it'd be fun of you just had a closet full. I have a congre HAMAs. Just like him. I going to be the day going through. I would like us to love the Pocahontas costume because it happened to come out, and it was very popular during the summer. So I would actually show up at kids places with a polka his dress barefoot with my long hair, and these were white kids. So Tim to them you were..

Keith Malley Hamda Holloway Devils Danny devito Rojo press Conan New York City Ny HAMAs Tim wa hockey twelve thirteen years eight year
"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

03:09 min | 2 years ago

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Hey. Enzi GSA, we missed one hat should wound faults. Of course. Welcome everybody to keep in the girl. I'm Keith Malley Hamda a great day injury with us, low Andrea Kello Andrews, adding to all the sounds because Julius cousin happened to be in town and he's railing and can then him found a connection. It is Andrea such a fucking weirdo. When I started speaking a different language, she pretends like she's speaking along with me and the other person by just putting on a terrible accident Dak late accent, the what the. How is that different? Honestly, going ching chunks. I don't know. 'cause I 'cause I laugh. I make the mistake of laughing because I love his Railly's deeply and my heart and I going by it also. I'm also an immigrant, so double points. She also does this other thing where because not only my Isreaeli have Iraqi background there any background. So apparently she knew some Arabs past. I'll say some shit about my life goes fucking era. Just start cracking wrong. He's always right. She's like this mother fucker, and I'm like, that's a fucking here. It's an era of New York, crossover, your anger, two different types of anger running through your veins. And one of them is Arab. Yeah, they're different. Yeah, I believe the thing is every time she called me in Arabic. You not wrong. Yeah, that was my herbs. I'd coming you and Michael arguing about nothing just to argue because you love it. That's fucking era. Bullshit. I know lots of airs you guys love crackly little. Do love that. That's their impersonation of me by shopping area in Israel by the holy wall. Oh, it's just another schuch. Okay. So this outdoor market, I see this little magnet in the tells the temperature and pitcher of lawful. I need some mental from everywhere. So I go to buy many much is just four. Okay. Here's for punks. They got mad that I didn't thicker them. Yeah, they love to fight. It's a cultural thing. No, you'll fake to me and then you take it. Like I just wanted. Yeah, so funny. I warrant Keith about Israel before we went and he still was just passive, Keith, you know? Yeah, and it was just so sad to watch. And everytime we called him out. He's like your the crazy. Yeah. So he would basically do what you do except not call me era, just call me crazy. I'm just like, Keith, if you wanna get the full awful, you can't just be a bystander. There's no line just get in the fucking front and yell Salafi at someone he goes, I don't know magin. Right. He goes, I don't know how many times I'm gonna tell you. I would soon die starvation, then fucking philosopher at someone. And so me and my brother is fucking cracking up, Keith, not having, no, they have a singing Israel. Shopping is a spectator. But you know what's the worst is. So I got, I got to this country when I was four. But my parents obviously were like full going dealt with all of this background. My mother was born and raised in Israel, and.

Keith Malley Hamda Andrea Kello Andrews Israel Michael Julius New York Railly
"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

02:49 min | 2 years ago

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Hey. Welcome to keep the girl on Keith Malley. Hamda ladies and gentlemen may Ronca Ghani. Hi, I'm it's really nice to be back here. We are in the middle of this hurricane Florence? Yeah. Here New York City. You didn't? They didn't talk about us in the news, but it is pouring outside. They explicitly talked about us in the news meteorologist mapped this weeks ago. Absolutely. It was going to slingshot up and over through us. Well, I didn't sit down. They even said today, I'll really. Okay. So that's why you had a parka. That's why I had a park. It was cloak. It was a Puma cloak. It costs too much to be a Parco. I'm putting that on our website because this cloak was amazing. He walked in with giant shades and a cloak, and I thought, I don't know. You look like a majestic wizard. That's very kind of think of me as that's the. I mean, I, I like to think of myself as a wizard. How are you? Health was and the best health of my life, which is horrified. I can't keep track your surgeries. What happened recently. So about last thanksgiving I, I started to become resistant to my diabetes medications, and I mean to all of them, I was already on the maximum of metformin. They added glimp- ride. I was on enough insulin for five people sounds like a lot of medicine even just it was. It was a boatload and my blood sugar still hovered around between three and five hundred. Sometimes it would still it would spike in hit five hundred and and so I was talking to enter chronologies. And then I read about a procedure called the duo Dino switch, which is a gastrointestinal rerouting that has one hundred percent cure rate for diabetes to. But it has a six percent mortality rate on the table like it's is that high yet. Yeah, if for it's dangerous? Yeah. Routing, how how much you poop has to go through before it comes out your, but so the vast majority of sugars are absorbed in the first half of the small intestine. And so I went and saw bariatric surgeon, he was like, we can do. We can get you the same results with gastric bypass. I was like, just fucking fix it. And so I had my intestines rerouted. They snipped me halfway down my lower intestine and connected that directly to my stomach. They say the small intestines is actually larger than the large intestines. It's a misnomer unravel, the small intestines, it reaches the moon, but not yours, not my moon because they cut it out. It's just abbreviated my digestive processes, abbreviated. And what that that helps you process should? It means that I, I am now mala Borg, two sugars, which also makes me immune to diabetes. And so what does that mean? You can eat as much sugar as you want. There's something called dumping syndrome, which is..

diabetes Keith Malley Ronca Ghani Florence Parco mala Borg New York City metformin one hundred percent six percent
"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

02:02 min | 2 years ago

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Hey welcome the keith and the girl i'm keith malley hamda ladies and gentlemen what could i tell you today is day featured on a dull swim the hamas comedy hour break out artist at caroline's comedy club i've seen it and i'll tell you what without exaggeration perfection anna boone how're you doing hannah doing very good now she just fainted and was like that's me okay so in the you have your hierarchy of comedians and the big deal in new york anyway is to be featured as a breakout star on the caroline stage hannah was it was fantastic it was fantastic i was laughing balls off both today now i happen to be fairly close to the stage that makes you nervous me anyway as a comedy customer because i'm like well i know her she knows me do i have to plaster while those you know have smiles and i didn't because everything was real genuine and it was fantast that you should be very proud where are you able to see keith in the audience yes and and it was actually really liked it believe keith is here yeah there's good and i was like my had of course ton of friends in the audience and they were like two of them left the green room and they're like good luck and i was like well it's really it's up to you thank you good luck to you right away and it goes on stage and she's like i just wanna let you know all the and it happened to be raining that day you know when you live in new york you're almost looking for an excuse not to do something because you can always do that thing you don't understand that you just think you can obviously hand is going to perform on a sunny day also tonight so hannah says well i got all these phone calls and everybody told me last minute that they can't be here like i'm supposed to do something about it out is the great from the beginning also you can see hannah.

caroline anna boone new york hannah keith malley hamas
"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

01:42 min | 2 years ago

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Hey here both at the same time welcome the keith and the girl i'm keith malley hamda ladies and gentlemen today's guest co host of follow g the podcast we'll get to the bottom of aliens raider for the hard times like a punk rock the onion you know little wage ladies and gentlemen same rose hello doing sammy i'm doing very well how are you saying i'm doing very well thank you i do wanna get to these aliens and they know what you're talking about because you work in a college right i i sure do your teacher i am a lecturer yes okay what does that mean it means i'm teacher it means they can't talk back and there's a website where kids go to college students drew and they judge the teachers yes and the teacher can figure out if they're on their yes and see what the kids think of them correct and they say that you're lecturing you're classes are quote easy is that offensive do you need to up your game or is that a compliment i think that's a compliment okay i think that's a compliment because does that mean you're getting easy homework to do when the handed in yeah i think my assignments are fair and i grade them very leniently guess what they're not fair they're easy i don't know if you're listening they're they're they're quote chill okay you've been told on this website my multiple students that you are hot will they have not told me that directly say it on the website by clicking the chili pepper on the website they indicate that they believe i am hot should they be allowed to be on this site clicking chili peppers in graduate.

lecturer keith malley
"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

01:45 min | 2 years ago

"keith malley hamda" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Hey welcome to keith and the girl i'm keith malley hamda censoring listener keith girl dot com slash tickets in april in new york city see us in la that's all over the place there's no excuse not to see you where on one side of the other keeping the girl dot com slash tickets today's guests has been featured in the riot la comedy festival just for laughs chicago and somebody happened to write me today saying on thinking about going to that group selfhelp landmark and it was one of my favorite episodes it was with one of my favorite guests go to keith and the girl dot com slash reena calm and you'll see all the shows that rena was on including that landmark episode no punt rena calm doing reno very good happy to be back it's good to see yeah rena was at a wedding recently i was just this last weekend here for wedding and mentioned that the bride and groom the sided to give the what do they call us patrons guests yes supporters family and friends the customers to gifts this is this is not this not this wedding this was this is the last wedding i was here for yeah on his that god reno shit so you were at a wedding one time i did a wedding guests molly to everyone yes well everybody that wanted it wasn't forced or surprised on anyone it wasn't slipped into anything it was just like a very private party favor kind of thing that you could go get after dinner now it takes a while for the molly to kick in soom.

new york city chicago reno molly soom keith malley rena