17 Burst results for "Keith Girl"

"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

06:32 min | Last month

"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Welcome to keith. And the girl. I'm keith malley hamda. Fda has full approval of the pfizer. Vaccine okay you wear liars. You can get it now but it wasn't that anyway but you can get it now. It's got to be a big deal right. we'll see. Yeah yeah we will see. We actually can say we'll see and you know what while you're there grab a pack of cigarettes that's fda approved and we can all party with all the fun things that the fda has allowed the universe. Thank you fda. The so important. I was waiting for the approval. But what if you know these weirdoes. They're the people that on election day aren't shy about going. I'm still undecided. What else can you give me a habit. You get shot. We give you one hundred dollars. Maybe i'm interested abbey everything that's going to be everything. Okay i'll do it well or now you're more suspect is now. You're trying to pay me to do it right. So how do i trust that. Sure just keith. Today with you okay. So we're going to get into some. We're going to get into some real shit. Hey how about that. Hurricane did you. You didn't get it too bad. I guess right. No and just the thing i feel like i should have been more nervous about I know he's got an alert on his phone. Saying and it showed the region on the map. It showed us like this is where it's going to be destroying everything in lake. Should we be packing something and You know we have a gazebo in the back. Like is that gonna fly away like. It's the wizard vase or something and it was bad rains. There is a free concert in central park and it was supposed to get vaccinated if you were vaccinated you. Could you could attend this concert. Bruce springsteen elvis costello paul simon you know all the kids are talking about these three nowadays. Paul simon you know you're is not going to this concert at night was caused elo. Yes twenty five year. Old elvis costello will be there when they you're like is going to be a super spreader event. Don't worry is in the middle of a hurricane. There were no problems. They had to cancel it. Okay maybe they canceled because they realize it's too late for the demographic right. i wonder. I wonder if that's availability. Which is probably more likely or is it. That's the demographic that's to give vaccined. Maybe it is it the is it. The newer people with the older people in the inbetween are just like we realize life is just the next thing. So let's get the next thing. I don't know chad. Hayes is beautifully young. i don't know i don't know I'm getting a lot of emails about how lover is not a gird. Good word for somebody you actually love. Isn't that interesting. It's such a wonderful word when you think about it. I'm calling you my lover. The person i love the person. I make love to the person who i shoot my love towards and it's just disgusting and filthy. Who do we blame. I shoot my love towards her all the time all over her. And if that's not love her she tweeted out. Send me she actually. This really happened kyle. you can follow on at o. Cossio kyle quote. Send me a dick pic. Haven't gotten one in a while. I actually got that accidentally sent to assembled personal training. Client not my boyfriend. This'll be an awkward session now. First of all more important than any of this who sends the picks lovers something would say. Send me a dick pic. You're so mistaken. That's so funny. Okay everything you just said about. The word lover explained to me why we're not saying that word anymore. Every time you defined it or said where you're gonna put it unlike yup not still not using that word. That word is just going to have to fall on the side for awhile. It said i wanna love our. Yep that's the tone. I really thought about it. I asked cirque sees. And he's given commie that i prefer not i prefer not either. And it's such a lovely word follow keith. And the girl of course on social media we're under everything with With keith girl and we say make sure you hit like i hope you understand. It's not really. I could see me a person like me out there being like a forty seven years old. You need me to tap your head and go. I liked it. I like you. Are you gonna make it through the day today. Now when you hit like it it shows whatever you just liked to more people. Also it shows you more of the same type of thing. So you're getting more of what you legitimately like. That's why the lakes are important. I don't know if we just look like sad. People like the day please you today let us know we pleased you today for you and to spread the word in general. That's why that's important anyway. I saw on twitter. Somebody's guy. Ed he wrote make eric. Andre the comedian the jeopardy host the prank. Oh and i said you know what i agree but eric andre has to take it seriously so he can smirk accidentally but once he forces a smirk for laughs as head explodes. What do you think of that. I like it. Did you also see the one where I think it was Anthony vito or joe devito factor too many of you out there for the devito's it's the family. The family did really good week and they tweeted Let let oj be the host. He knows about job double jeopardy okay and then and then somebody responded saying at least at least let him give it a stab and the devito family wrote killer. Yeah that sounds like joe for short. New movie is out that i loved and do not recommend now that i'm wondering what words are called the produce today. I like this category. And i think it should be a category on netflix. Or something like a different light button. I liked. But i don't recommend i think that tells the whole story right. Michael keaton who. I love and i can't tell you why michael kina kurt russell are are the poison of music. They're not the best but they're the best.

fda keith malley hamda keith paul simon elvis costello Cossio kyle pfizer Fda Bruce springsteen Hurricane keith girl hurricane Hayes kyle cirque eric andre Anthony vito joe devito devito
"keith girl" Discussed on The Black Guy Who Tips Podcast

The Black Guy Who Tips Podcast

05:21 min | Last month

"keith girl" Discussed on The Black Guy Who Tips Podcast

"Fuck fuck police man. Threatened somerset somerset. Man did not wait. Did i read does marine bono. Did you cave did not happen in his daughter was i actually even aigdirect. Messed i sent a tweet. And after he noticed person. that's what it was. I haven't read on air so keys molly from keith. And the girl. We both karen and i do last week on girl. The up show of their podcasts. 'cause we're big fans have been for years and you want to listen to go to kay. Td's slash vip sign up for the free month. I think if you use cotija don't get the fremont but i think you get three months. No matter what sign up you can listen to us over there. We have so much fun with them. We love is always a good time. And he keith of keith. And the girl is from somerset pennsylvania and that's how i send it to him to be like yo is this one of your hobbies like you notice partisan you heard or something And also like you know what else about that last order just read you know how whenever i talk about the podcast and we do interviews and we get asked about it literally one. The first day is they'll come up is how we know. How would you start to podcast. And you know it just went. I'm almost tired of telling the story. But i'll have to tell it because it's the truth and i'll say keith girl Literally there's no keith. And the girl there's the blackout us as you know it. That's that's a fact that will always be true if we go on to become worst enemies. It'll be true and we've become stays friends. It's true if one day we wake up and they're like fuck rodney care for no reason. It's still the truth and the truth. Don't care about how you feel about it right now. No don't so the fact that women couldn't even acknowledge as ugly as it. Is you know what i was. Inspired by her work and people could then have a debate about well. Your inspiration looks a lot like plagiarism. Or your inspiration. is you know. it's almost like he took her work. You know i'm not saying she. Da but. i'm saying we can have that conversation. If you're honest right you didn't just post outdo her Usually i who manage this. Yeah so that's that's what that feels like. You know it's like when people bring dumped around no matter how and embarrassing or long winded story is. I'm going to tell that story. Every time from a these dues came up with this podcast. Big fan my favorite show blah blah blah. Go through the whole fucking thing and how know. Here's how we were kind of complicit in it and didn't understand like the ratio was happening And here's how other people took it and really tried to run with it and monetize it and do all this shit. And here's how we made a mess and you know i know at some point even gives embarrassing to them to some degree when i talk about him but the truth is the truth. I can either do that. Could just act like it. Didn't have a lot of people and i'll be like this is what happened and this matters because i don't want to have something like that happen again right. So this is the lessons. I took from that and i hope if anyone listening you take those lessons to you can be a fan. It's still end up fucking as a fan. And why would you wanna do that so to see somebody say. In this case we not going to knowledge it okay. We'll see now. We have to acknowledge it. I'm sorry i harmed you comments off. No i'm not talking to you okay. Anyway somerset man was jailed on one hundred thousand dollars bond. You know he got that. In some city god that he will appear before district judge kenneth johnson accused of holding three people hostage and threatened them with a sword. Oh damn allies. James harden forty two. We'll have a public defender to represent him at his court. Hearing tuesday wars public defender jail jail defender for that shit. A hundred thousand dollar bond they. They don't plead you and some saying yeah You're a horrible nightmare. Don't come with me. yeah he a. They were called to his apartment august. Eleventh were reported hostage situation will believe iran. They were greeted by man shouting obscenities from inside. According to a criminal complaint kick the door in and went upstairs found the second door. Locked door second ops or remove the door pans to get inside where hard was taken into custody. Police found three people who have barricaded themselves inside your bathroom. After allegedly began threatening the source saying he would kill. Everyone tried to lead a building. He was charged aggravated assault. Terroristic threats reckless endangerment is being held at somerset county jail. That is not good. That's not good at all Our hr we'll talk to you tomorrow. Thank you for listening. Appreciate child until then I love you..

keith of keith somerset pennsylvania keith girl keith somerset bono molly kay karen rodney kenneth johnson James harden iran somerset county jail
"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

04:13 min | Last month

"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Yes. of course. we should be represented with fifty percent of the population. And i'm like. Wow yes good point. Oh i didn't know let. That's great and then i see i'm twenty minutes in and i'm like i think i got all your point. I don't know how to turn this off. Because i am a woman and then i'm doing the opposite of this documentary because everyone in this is a woman and i'm like yeah boring. We do repeater cells. Click fuck. I'm like oh my god. Do i now have given myself a thing where i need to watch this in order to keep feminism alive of course because i'm that important thank you. I a documentary. That was actually wonderful and it was about female comedians very specific about female comedians. Getting plastic surgery. Oh up this is great okay. Great documentary wonderful. Do i remember the name. Of course. Not but i'll try to figure it out with sweet know but it was so good and then they follow this one character actress around. Who's like really funny. And they were like issuing to get plastic surgery. She not. I guess i won't tell you the ending but is see we had. That's so lovely. She knew that that's a spoiler. She doesn't so anyways. I know me it's got to end the nice. It's going to end. I realize i'm worthwhile as is coming at female comedians Plastic surgery right Oh my god. There was a girl at an open mic couple years ago. Who is twenty four and just got her first bow talks and i was like an from. La so i was orig- like so for me. I was like i get it like were taught at but like don. You're fine the we've had we've had i'm thinking of more than one. Guests were like the parent got the daughter. A nose job at sixteen. And i'm like well you're not gonna think than those got fixed by seventeen. You're gonna think you're gonna find more problems. I'm to guess. Yeah yeah well. And who likes their features at sixteen. I hated everything like hated. I i used to. When i was little when i would lose an eyelash or something. All of my wishes were to have straight hair. I for it. I i never prayed. 'cause i didn't. We were very religious. And i didn't agree but i started praying when i was like i could pray for straight hair not just started praying for it and now i'm like happy. I'm happy of curly hair so it was green. Now that's just god's way God did it. Yeah were praying praying and he answered he he answered thank you. Yes a man. The man that is god. I try to do that all my like any and aa meetings. Everyone god's a man and they're like we didn't are and i'm like god let's ask things are going. Well he's a man fast asked nicer mile. Please be. I'd be happy man how you know about therapy. Let me mention better help again. 2021 mental health is finally a thing so many people struggling right now right. Yeah that is always correct. I mean obviously yes. Everyone is struggling. Whatever you need. It's time to stop being ashamed. Normal human struggles start feeling better. You deserve to be happy and you don't have to do you know i'm reading the news. I don't know how fun it would be to see a therapist in person. Well not only. Do you not see the therapist in personnel. You could say a computer laptop phone anything it's cheaper. It's cheaper than in person therapy. That's great this podcast. I almost said that's crazy but not supposed to. The podcast is sponsored by better help and keith girl listeners. Get ten percent off your first month..

don La keith girl
"keith girl" Discussed on Progressive Talk 1350 AM

Progressive Talk 1350 AM

09:00 min | 2 months ago

"keith girl" Discussed on Progressive Talk 1350 AM

"Welcome to texts up. I'm your host, Jonathan Strickland. I'm an executive producer with I Heart radio and I love all things Tech, and it is time for the news for Tuesday, February 16th 2021 let's get to it And we will begin with an update on the solar winds Hack a massive supply chain hack that's had a critically More damage further down the road. Solar winds makes I t system management software. So you know the type of stuff that network administrators might use to monitor and control really complicated computer networks. Hackers, likely backed by Russia compromised a piece of software called Orion on the solar winds side of everything, and they inserted malware into the software code for the Orion product. So when solar winds pushed out, updates to arrive And solar winds. Customers who accepted those updates because solar winds as a trusted partner, they unknowingly infected their own systems with a Trojan type of malware. That attack hit thousands of customers. But the hackers actually only followed up with a few dozen of them to further infiltrate and spy on targets that ranged from Microsoft to the United States Department of Homeland Security. Now. Microsoft says that after analyzing the code found in Orion, researchers reckon that maybe as many as 1000, or more developers had worked on that malicious code, which itself consisted of 4032 lines of code. More than 1000 developer sent is a truly huge endeavor, something far beyond independent hacking groups. Microsoft President Brad Smith indicated that this sort of attack was new to the United States. But Russia had previously employed a similar approach in cyber attacks on systems located inside the Ukraine. If you want to learn more about the solar winds hack I had a an episode with hacker extraordinaire Shannon Morris. She joined text of the episode is titled The Solar Winds Hack it published on February 1st and Shannon and I explored the scope of the solar winds attack and what it all actually means. Spoiler alert. It's not good. And now let's switch to a collection of stories that I like to call. Eat the rich, and we've got some more updates on that story of Wall Street bets and the Gamestop stock this time looking at how the United States government is getting involved so quick refresher. Some hedge funds decided to short sell shares A Gamestop. That's when you borrow shares of stock. You sell them at whatever the current market value is for that stock. Then you buy back those borrowed shares so you can return them to the original owner, and what your hope is, is that the price of the shares will drop so that you make money on the deal. So let's say you sell some borrowed stock for 20 bucks a pop and you buy it back when it's at $10 a share. You just made $10 a share as you return the stock to the person who borrowed it from but a group of independent investors day traders. Communicating on forums like Reddit and a Subreddit, called Wall Street Bets, decided to foil this plan by buying up game stop shares and encouraging others to do so. Now that pushed the price of the game. Stop shares up, not down. Then you had hedge funds freaking out because they were going to be obligated to buy back those shares they have to in order to return them, and now they would have to pay more money than they made When they sold off those borrowed shares and the Wall Street bets. Folks kept buying up more stock as soon as it would become available, which pushed the price even higher, creating a short squeeze. It hit a high of around $483 per share. Uh, this was well above the $20 a share that it was that before all this happened, and that share price has actually settled off quite a bit right now. As a record, this is around $52 per share. But that's still more than twice what it was when all this started. And the U. S. House of Representatives wants to talk to a few people about everything that's been going on. Among those people are Steve Hoffman, the CEO of Reddit and Blood 10 Ev, the co CEO of Robin Hood. That's an app that allows its customers its users to buy stocks through the APP. And also, they want to talk to Keith Girl who has the online moniker of Roaring Kitty. He has been invested heavily in games up since back in 2019, and he posted about it Frequent Really? The Senate also wants to get involved. They want to determine if there was any manipulation of the stock market going on here, But on the surface that doesn't seem to be the case, at least not for the price to go up. Sure, there were independent investors all working together to buy up shares of stock, but that in itself isn't manipulation. In fact, the Wall Street bets crew maintains that hedge funds that short sell companies frequently engage in activities that are specifically meant to devalue that come Please share price that seems to fall more under the manipulation umbrella also on the table or talks about Robin Hood, which famously put a freeze on how many shares of Gamestop Users could actually purchased and in some cases, they just stopped anyone from being able to buy Gamestop shares at all through Robin Hood. The House will examine if Robin Hood broke any federal regulations in the process of that, as numerous media outlets have shared. A major hedge fund owns a significant stake in Robin Hood and the Wall Street bets. Crew has maintained that the APP is kind of part of a system that rewards the wealthy at the expense of everybody else. The U. S Senate is also looking into the current state of the stock market in general, and the hearing in the House of Representatives should take place on February 18th starting at noon Eastern time, They'll also be streaming it live just in case. You know you're interested in tuning in Researchers with the Duke University School of Business published a report that an elite group of companies are responsible for more than half of all the revenue generated from the ocean economy. So we're talking about around 100 companies responsible for $1.1 trillion in revenues. Or about 60% of all revenue from Ocean based economic activities. This is based off data that's actually a couple of years old, so it might even be more dramatic than that in 2021. Now, If you're like me, you might have had a pretty rough reaction to that news. I mean, that's an enormous amount of influence with a very small number of organizations. But luckily for me, the researchers provide a voice of cautious optimism about all this. One of the Authors of the study has said quote one of our biggest challenges is to sustain healthy ocean ecosystems as economic use increases and climate impacts accelerate. This study confirms that a relatively small number of companies will be central to this challenge and have a real opportunity for leadership end quote. So with that perspective, you could argue that it's actually easier to convince a relatively small number of companies. To make some big changes that could have enormous benefits for millions. Then it would be a lot easier to do that than to try and convince a ton of smaller companies that each have a smaller amount of influence and and thus have a small stake in a very big pool. As it were. Companies in the study included oil and gas companies that conduct you know, offshore. Mining operations, seafood production processing, shipping, cruise tourism, offshore wind companies and more. The lion's share of that $1.1 trillion of revenue actually falls into surprise. Surprise the oil and gas company slice of the pie. These companies had a combined revenue of $830 billion Or 75% of the whole thing. Yowza Now will these companies make the major changes to address sustainability challenges? Well, shareholders demand it and pressure the companies to do so. Or if the leadership of those companies takes these issues like ocean sustainability and climate change really seriously, perhaps I withhold judgment only because I've seen a lot of companies act in short term self interest over long term viability. But I hope the attitude of the researchers does reflect reality. Keep listening. You can hear the rest of this podcast episodes and discover thousands of others all available to you for free right now by downloading the I Heart radio app number one for podcasts..

Jonathan Strickland Steve Hoffman Shannon Morris House of Representatives $830 billion 2019 February 1st Tuesday, February 16th 2021 2021 February 18th Shannon $1.1 trillion 75% Microsoft Duke University School of Busi Keith Girl Ukraine United States Senate U. S. House of Representatives
"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

05:55 min | 2 years ago

"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Welcome and Keith and the girl. I'm Keith Malley. If you live in the area and you shop in the area and you're a teenager we would like to apologize because there's a local grocery store that had the Whiz then she should excuse me excuse excuse me clerk. I don't drink but I do happen to notice back. You sell chocolate booze for one dollar and I said. Did you know that there's alcohol indies and he said No. There's not nice said. Please look at the back of the bottle. All we have is our youth fagin right. You took away a lot of people's fun. Come first of all you should. I think some people are trying to enjoy their lives out there. Can we stop that real quick good. I was just and I didn't consider that but I was that was in the supermarket and at the counter they had an entire display with a bunch ange of chocolates that are obviously filled with liquor and that they were selling for a dollar because I sincerely know that. These people don't know there's liquor in it because I don't even have a liquor license. You know it's just a good then. You couldn't in New York City anyway yeah you see they can't get a liquor license. They can't sell liquor and there they are with these things and I recognize them. You want to hear from why we had them at Bar Mitzvahs and that's that's what I recognize them like Oh. This has alcohol in a and you're GonNa hate me even more what I used to do at bar. mitzvahs is dumped the alcohol half the time. Maybe you're hoping the Clark says that the kids let's do that. I don't know what she I said. Hey these have alcohol in it right and you just like wow you know and she's like no. They don't and I was like wow that's a that's a big problem to not know that you don't have alcohol writing counter and then it was a dollar but the ironic part is I had one and liquor and chocolate is really good. Did you come. I'm back go listen. I made a mistake. These are good. You know what can they said. You're rolling. Sonny's for dollar. You don't know this liquor in them in kindergarten. You know what I'll take one. They go okay. Six dollars rush played. I should've taken the whole thing. It's what am I talking about now. Let's say you don't honestly I win the set anything if they're needles selling up front for a quarter each I wasn't trying to NARC. I was really just gone Colorado. It didn't occur to me that I am being a fucking neighborhood dark. They have to know when the kids are giggling. Kids are giggling buying chocolate ever see kids by with green too so happy about that. Apparently the of the mix at home and forgot got the whip cream yes. I'm the asshole neighbor holidays and is making a difference. That's the poll. Would you say if you found out now no further record if I was like no. There's a lot of bitches do things that have nothing to do with them. In the end the rule have have kids the irony but she'll tell you how to raise yours. I was really not trying to be like save. The kids just SUPRI- really I'm saving. There's supermarket because I don't even know what why don't you go the Dylan go when he plastic on this shit the Deli that sell like the do you. I know that those rose things I think we might have talked about the rose. Things at Bodega are actually cracked pipes. Did you know that the river see that they sell. This weird rose sister rose. I'll know it's really shouldn't come that. You let them know your grocery store level. You know there's not air conditioning doesn't bother. She knows that's four shady style. Yes all right anyway apologize. I'll hey polls complete. I had the final final fun and a story today. Luke rates. I just got a lifetime Keith girl. VIP membership to Keith and the girl because fifteen years of every single show ever yeah I'm probably sticking being with this check out the funniest podcast and podcast network if you go behind the pay wall with VIP and he puts a link so thank you very much. There is such a big deal a lifetime membership membership. Thank you so much and the just recorded a what's my name with Rachel Green and Andrew Allen about burning man Andrew of course came back. He just got back. I wanted to get her fresh off. Did you see those pictures first of all. I just saw the picture so I didn't know the stories but this is Madame Max out there these these big you know the motorcycle riding glasses bikes coming out the neck and then I know she on that show she talks about the an old woman orgy so I I assume half. These people are dead from all the spikes. Everybody loves spots. She went to what was it called. STRAT Johnathon a strap on the phone. Yeah there was a whole been fully strapped onto you could just like grab that and she's now the King of sex frequently the king of fucking sorry Andrea. This is the the deal those in a VAT of alcohol There's a lot of safe stuff. There's a lot of condoms lubes finger Kinda but if you want to take take from the not safe then you can and they found a corpse so it's a good what's my name all right well. I told you I wasn't joking about these spiked collars. They're going to hurt somebody. Let's so what's my name last week. Keith Girl of course is a the six Keith and the girl episode. We talked about the guest behind the scenes. We'll be recording one of the last two weeks. I I am always nervous to say on the show when we have a guest that we have a wrap up show because I'm like to the comic not you you don't you don't subscribe to this because we'll be talking about you at the end of the week and tell you how we really feel but everybody else today we feel very comfortable because of who our guest is and and she's the host so so spray won't rat on herself. VIP of courses available Keith Girl Dot com slash VIP used a Coupon Code D. A D and You'll get to try it out for free..

Keith Keith Malley Keith Girl fagin New York City Clark Colorado Sonny Dylan Madame Max Luke Andrea Rachel Green Andrew Allen fifteen years Six dollars one dollar two weeks
"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

02:08 min | 2 years ago

"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Loved the energy of New York and we Lubin joined her for the podcast Hamas comedy hour where the talk with comedians about what makes them messy messy but in the brain you know they should be clear loubet Allen Meadows apartment and cleaned for them Luba canal and Menez interns at Keith Girl after Ellen injected herself into the making of her favorite podcast and my blood Allen so congratulations on Forbes Jan make sure you go and read read the whole article and Click whatever they ask you to click so that they know that Alan is a force to be reckon. That's our Paul Allen. It is weird to like call you Allen. Could it's an actual name a good job Allen in today's guest ladies and gentlemen featured on Sirius X._M.. Radios Laugh U._S._A.. Featured on Hulu M._S._N._B._C. E._S._p._N.'s world series of Poker Clayton Fletcher. Don't clean hey great to meet you guys. Thanks for having me on. It's good to see I. I'm I feel weird when I find myself locked into one of these poker shows on T._v.. Unlike ten minutes and I'm like Whoa I didn't change the channel Yeah. Why am I watching? I'm not getting a percent who gives a shit. I see everyone's cards. Yeah and I'm so smart. When I see everyone's card? What are you doing? I don't have it don't go for if you can bet you can up. The fucking stakes you are a you are a pro. You're professional yeah <hes> so I make half my income from poker from comedy and third half you lose and then some days I have to do more comedy to make up for the poker the most you made in a poker tournament this is the world world series of poker was last year. You put in twenty five thousand you made three hundred thousand yeah so that wasn't in one tournament but that was in last year's world series of poker okay which is just what it sounds like. It's a series like we all know the main event because that's the one that's on E._S._p._N.. Right but a lot of people don't realize there are actually about eighty other poker tournaments that are part of the world series of poker so it's kind of like the Olympics or the World Cup. It turns out that other stuff too yeah. They did other stuff too right when you say tournament..

Paul Allen Allen Meadows Clayton Fletcher Hamas Lubin New York Hulu Alan Ellen Forbes Keith Girl Menez Olympics E._S._p._N. ten minutes
"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

02:14 min | 3 years ago

"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"You. Thank you know, those rings. He put on the way to Christmas kids, she has like reverse ring. Gotcha adds to it. I don't know if that is. But I want one Jewish the brag we have fun things. Entity relationship with someone. We're like you see like the way that they write like a letter to your like, we should probably break cycle bed. Right. He was like, oh, no. They're needy. Hide it. So. Well, no, actually, you know, what's bad is. I've had apology letters like long ones where it's like, okay. I really fucked up sent to me, and I skip them. And I'm like, I'm good. I get it. I got a deer homework now. Did you feel good sending that great? We're cool. People have sent us listeners have sent Keith girl letters to say, hey, look at this. I'm thinking about sending this to my ex who's mad at me. And these letters every time inevitably are seventeen thousand. About every feeling they've ever had that obviously they've never shared between Jesus Christ. I can picture marriage. What time? One of those notebooks from like the opening credits. Seven. This manifesto or her? I'm sorry. I didn't take out the garbage. What are we talking about here? Yes. I got I got two super bad place where and this is dislike so close to me being like, okay. You gotta leave where he would start talking and be like start trying to explain something to me. I just meant it. I don't even like the word just take the fucking word just at this is like how to take the word just out of your fucking speech because you didn't just do anything. You did hardcore shit. Now what you wanna smoke? And then you and then you lift him I him out. Okay. Like the apply. Okay. Jesus ono. But there was a reason you wanna hear the end of the I just center, I just had the dating up because blah, blah, do you wanna keep hearing? Oh, man. Is it safe to say Justice fucking shit word, right? Listen next movie. You're on a dating app movie researching told me about yeah. That you really need to do for this part..

Keith
"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

01:55 min | 3 years ago

"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"See everything their videos of our past of the rewards, you know, special deals that you get that helps us keep going. And then of course, you get something out of it also other than simply the marathon and Martin Gorth Keith girl. All right. So if as there's any confusion or you just want to be part of it take a look keeping the girl dot com slash kick. It's pretty self explanatory. And thank you to all the people who do it right away who have done it already. It's it's really such a big deal for us. It's like, okay this. It's weird to say. But it it not only helps us obviously financially make it through the next year. But it's like, oh, this is all based on. You wanna keep hearing us and the soon as you don't wanna keep hearing us, we die. Right. And it's it's we gotta do another tumor over that will just are out. Right. We on the tumors. Come from stress. Keen wall? Abouts by the way, the forms. Badges is one of the rewards. You get this little, you know, I did it bragging thing the and put an extra name on our forms. And we were able to give them ahead of time as opposed to the end of the Kickstarter. So you should have it right now. As a matter of fact, they can say, hey, look, I support because I do see an you don't want to complain about these people because thinking the stood there. But there's there's a strong amount of people that at the end of the Kickstarter they come in like literally last minute. Meaning they they they didn't find out about it on the day. They waited as if there's some kind of superhero, but meanwhile, they would get more bang for their buck by starting early in creating attention nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd. So if you are going to and I feel weird saying this. So I'm saying if you are anyway going to give a dude early as opposed to later, and it gets more people excited than the rewards for everybody, get bigger. Yeah. And if you did already give if you can tweet about it that great. All right. Thank you very much..

Martin Gorth Keith
"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

03:35 min | 3 years ago

"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"I picked her making all this up. But I picked her. He's like all right. I'm gonna start okay. To talk about us. And she's like, yeah. You know, have essentially just like you. And he's like, okay. You think children talking about this? You have been in adult relationships where the miscommunication of who says what on their own platform has been terrible. You know, and people are guessing because we already spoke about our relationship, which means it's open. I can picture this stuff. Like, this has happened to me. And so I picked her them saying, yeah. Okay. Go have fun make some jokes. And then he says, well, even before I met Oreo grown Deos masturbating tour. Probably like, that's what did you think? You can save that check please. I think it was stuff like that. You can bring it up on Saturday Night Live. But man, you really pushed in said like your loser. And I'm saving your life and men you really make me think of you as a derby. No, baby. You said I can make Joe says she finally was listening to the words he said because Howard Stern was like that. To me sounds like the first conversation. They had was when she listened to him conversing with Howard start. Maybe you know, what I mean like how we know couples who didn't even talk about whether they ever want to have a baby until after they got married, and then one of them wants to in the other one doesn't want anything to do with it. Right. These are adult conversation. I could see. Yeah. Like the entirety of their relationship just being them alone. Eating candy and silence will never talking about anything. We also people get eating candy. I can see her getting she has her public persona. I I'm hearing somebody type it in the back lawn. She has this public persona that she has to protect and L when he shattered it. Yeah. You know? I could okay I had to goofball. How would he not it's because their children that she doesn't see that? I had it makes me think of this me. And my ex we had this cute thing where let's say, you, let's say you text a heart. You can even do it on your watch. You take the list emoji less than symbol than the three. Right. It's a heart. So we had this cute thing. Whereas the less than symbol in a four. That's even bigger than a heart. Right. All school greater than four. I say, but but will greater than three right? So at the fucking thing. Yeah. It's a hard. But it's one better. Yeah. So so then we would do this separately. Do this game on Keith girl where I had a couple and they had to write on a piece of paper. Not look at each other. How much did they love the other person wanted to? Okay and somebody right eight somebody else rates seven even though that's so close. It turns into a fight is fantastic. So somebody did that to us when when you guys were first dating, and and so my girlfriend later because my wife at the time she rates ten on a piece of paper. Yeah. And I write are four simple, which looks like negative for less than four right? So this is why they really broke up. He's such a fucking dick stores. Well, listen, describing it that's the thing. That's what this. That's what my girlfriend thought. She was like, oh, people saw them was you'd love me less than four. I'm like it's a bit. Who are you? It's our thing. This is our thing. What I just did is amazing. This was during the Keith girl marathon where I had to leave the studio and fix a fight outside. Her not understanding I have to go back to work. We're arguing over. I wrote four what what am I taught her lesson? I married her. That's what I picture that relationship being like..

Howard Stern Joe Deos Keith
"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

02:30 min | 3 years ago

"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"If you wanna send me love letters, I dunno, I feel he won't be that much more fun until I'm done with my celibacy. All love requests sex requests, dick pics, and the like will go through Keith, Keith at Keith girl dot com. A strong filter. Thanks, Keith. I was saying how it was my girlfriend's birthday in this comic said to her, hey, are you? Are you seeing anybody? And she said, yeah, I'm seeing Keith, and he goes, you're seeing Keith. I live in the same area that Keats that. Why? Why don't you visit me in the guy knows me. I wouldn't say we're best pals or anything, but we know each of the plenty plenty Hanes. You just fine, right? Yeah. And and then she goes and he goes, if you're gonna come to that area anyway, Comey up. You can sit on my face. That was really pleasant and so she has to deal with that and then and then you know, he says something like now, I don't think I'm gonna do that with Kate, and he leaves the party like upset as half in a huff. Then I happen to see him when people get but heard about nothing. Right. Why are you explain that? Go home to your roommates and explain why you got butthurt and see who's on your side. Then if you just told someone who was obviously disinterested in new after she said that she's not seeing you. In fact, seeing someone else who lives a block away from you after that. Definitely. That's the indication to say something like, come sit on my face and then leaves leaves the club as I happen to be walking in and takes the time to find me. This sees me, but I didn't see him, but he takes the time to come by and say, hi, and then later, you know, I put everything together. So she happened to see this comedian again recently. Yeah, and he says she blew him just a little just it all. So they're having a conversation about it. So. Conversation about having conversation? Yes. So he he brings it up again somehow. And she says, well, you know, I'm seeing Keith, and she goes and he says, all that serious because yeah, serious and he goes are. So I missed the window and she's got to go. There wasn't a window. Really. There wasn't a window like, what do you aren't? You embarrassed me tell you something I was. I think I was twenty one years old and I asked this girl georgeanne and my hometown to go out with me. She's she's very hot. And she said, she's not dating right now, and I said, so I won't see you dating anybody though..

Keith Keats Kate twenty one years
"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

01:30 min | 3 years ago

"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Hey welcome the keith in the girl i'm keith malley so exciting to be back keith girl dot com slash vip take a listen it's vip program it's every show we ever did and the spin off shows of course you got a sampling yesterday of what do we do now we also have we have last week on keith and the girl would just record it i think that's fantastic we have my name is keys we're really now we're just hosting our secrets on that show and by the way this month or anyway for the month of june we're going to be giving out that the live show that we just live keith girl show and the you can't say that pod wars game show for free for with your vip membership all others you can find it at the store for five dollars each so now with your membership you get all of that all of the premium content and the two live shows today's guests ladies and gentlemen first off finalist on last comic standing from america's got talent conan o'brien ryan conan o'brien conan ladies and gentlemen mike kaplan i am not conan o'brien how're you doing mike i'm doing great excellent and joining us you know she walked across america you'll be seeing that documentary burning daylight we'll tell you when host of the comedy show homespun comedy acuity just go walk inside doing jessica those credits were real week mike you across america.

keith malley america conan o'brien mike mike kaplan five dollars
"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

01:53 min | 3 years ago

"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Hey welcome to keith and the girl i'm keith malley how exciting we're still in holly we'd california how are you liking it i love it i love the weather every day is perfect and i don't understand why everyone's pissed off all the time but i'm i'm acting like a tourist like wow this is the most perfect weather we'd is recreational everyone's going to be smiling now they're still honking angry i'm gonna ask the my my guest about that we're recording in star burns audio we of course they host my opening line our new show about where we talked to comedians about the very first times on stage makes you check it out my opening line dot com all right today's guest on keith girl for the second time hosted tbs dinner and a movie for sixteen years hosted the fabulous podcast the mental illness happy hour come that was on it he made me cry ride he he said i couldn't be on it i was to together featured on nbc cbs the late show with craig ferguson comedy central ladies and gentlemen paul martin alone paul hello i'm good i'm good in the reason why people aren't smiling is because they're dreams are currently being crushed see their soul is is on the way out of their body because they've reality has struck the fantasy when they were living in iowa is now the reality that there are two million other people that think that they're going to be discovered that's funny it's it's such an it's an old notion to move to hollywood and to make you big and i love how people surprised left and right like it's people have babies no one told me how hard it was really because that's all i hear about you weren't listening do you find do you find pete where you where are you from paul.

keith malley nbc iowa california craig ferguson paul martin hollywood pete sixteen years
"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

01:58 min | 3 years ago

"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Hey welcome to keith and the girl i'm keith malley thanks for being listener we of course mentioned april thirteenth fourteenth and fifteenth next week is keith and the girl weekend opening night game night all that is happening april thirteenth were having a cornall competition for vip for life were bringing giant jange pictured django but if you lose you get physically hurt you'll sign a waiver at the door april fourteenth keith girl lives show following that the same day you can't say that pod wars addition the fifteenth my yearly standup show getting very excited and do you know who else is on the lineup we had tracy karnad zohair yesterday she's on the lineup and other person is usa mma osama bin laden we brought him up from the dead soundless d i'm very excited right look at keith girl dot com slash free if you're hearing all this news but it said because maybe you're a college student maybe times are tough what people do is buy a pass for the whole weekend because it's such a deal but maybe they can't make it one of those days so keith and the girl will be your keith and the girl ticket hob and if they have an extra ticket will find a way to get a for you'll see what i mean a key from the girl dot com slash free okay ladies and gentlemen today's guests take off work that's what i'm saying finalist on last comic standing appeared on the tonight show with conan o'brien late show with david letterman appeared on america's got talent and if he asked me most of all on our new podcast my opening line which by the way new episode featuring gilbert gottfried you can find right there the gray mike kaplan wow tell me about gilbert godfrey hilarious mike that's true and while you're checking out gilbert michael be there thanks for having me.

tracy karnad zohair keith conan o'brien david letterman america keith malley gilbert gottfried gilbert michael
"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

01:38 min | 3 years ago

"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"How offensive does it get when you repeat a story to end the and she does this shocked no i love it because it's just like you know what the story is just as good warmed over so it's fine with me i do it i do it for my own software you do the shake with the breathe and sharon some point because the fence my husband has is is an actor and so when i'm around is actor friends i'm like i'm gonna come to the sean friday good because i'll be the weirdo where it's like the thing in the play drops in something happens where everyone's supposed to be shocked but i'm the only one in the audience i'm going right from crying here going through the theater i'm so into the now the intermission i don't smoke they have news form and half the bait now wanna talk about living in the moment that's what it is about i'm gonna tell it tamara toys arrest closed so you were there like somebody's telling me this is crazy where did you hear that your show last month this sounds familiar now so but when you were on let's call it a regular keith girl episode i'm looking at show notes same and it says salmon his girlfriend are both comedians he would like her to move in with him she would like not to yeah any update now still same well no actually there is kind of updates she.

keith
"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

01:45 min | 3 years ago

"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"Hey welcome to keith and the girl i'm keith malley hamda censoring listener keith girl dot com slash tickets in april in new york city see us in la that's all over the place there's no excuse not to see you where on one side of the other keeping the girl dot com slash tickets today's guests has been featured in the riot la comedy festival just for laughs chicago and somebody happened to write me today saying on thinking about going to that group selfhelp landmark and it was one of my favorite episodes it was with one of my favorite guests go to keith and the girl dot com slash reena calm and you'll see all the shows that rena was on including that landmark episode no punt rena calm doing reno very good happy to be back it's good to see yeah rena was at a wedding recently i was just this last weekend here for wedding and mentioned that the bride and groom the sided to give the what do they call us patrons guests yes supporters family and friends the customers to gifts this is this is not this not this wedding this was this is the last wedding i was here for yeah on his that god reno shit so you were at a wedding one time i did a wedding guests molly to everyone yes well everybody that wanted it wasn't forced or surprised on anyone it wasn't slipped into anything it was just like a very private party favor kind of thing that you could go get after dinner now it takes a while for the molly to kick in soom.

new york city chicago reno molly soom keith malley rena
"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

02:01 min | 3 years ago

"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"See what do i call you are guy or girl what am i looking at no okay goodbye she's so good at roasting too i was like she's going to come out and like set the whole she must have got a cough when she was smoking or something i think she was surprised at the sensitivity of the audience to calling my husband he her or something like what she surprised me machine because she mon she's just right right yeah was on brand yes it's just was like oh man she's going to really burn it to the ground and i guess she did it in another way you know hannah boone was fantastic one of my favorites that's not only the witness but yeah hennessy of course acis tracy karnal my love was there that was fun it's hard to name all the good people i always feel guilty naming just right to while somebody somebody else didn't show up also in we're going to have them close the show as we're going to have this competition and then just the ten minutes you're just watching stand up the person's not so nervous but that person completely forgot of comedians get anything also so these things are still on brand right yeah and and so we say to christian aren't christian we'll have you be the last person christian finnegan and take you out of the competition because 'cause you'll be full press yeah and you'll be the closer and we're throwing this out so use your regular material whatever five ten minutes you have just go up there and do that but so he goes up he tells he tells a couple keith girl related jokes because he had those already and then says okay they told me to stretch so i'm now gonna i don't know here's a story about the keith and i was with him on his last day of drinking he tells that story and i take them stay want me to keep going i don't know what else i'm like what happened to the magic.

cough hannah boone christian finnegan keith five ten minutes ten minutes
"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

02:01 min | 3 years ago

"keith girl" Discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

"See what do i call you are guy or girl what am i looking at no okay goodbye she's so good at roasting too i was like she's going to come out and like set the whole she must have got a cough when she was smoking or something i think she was surprised at the sensitivity of the audience to calling my husband he her or something like what she surprised me machine because she mon she's just right right yeah was on brand yes it's just was like oh man she's going to really burn it to the ground and i guess she did it in another way you know hannah boone was fantastic one of my favorites that's not only the witness but yeah hennessy of course acis tracy karnal my love was there that was fun it's hard to name all the good people i always feel guilty naming just right to while somebody somebody else didn't show up also in we're going to have them close the show as we're going to have this competition and then just the ten minutes you're just watching stand up the person's not so nervous but that person completely forgot of comedians get anything also so these things are still on brand right yeah and and so we say to christian aren't christian we'll have you be the last person christian finnegan and take you out of the competition because 'cause you'll be full press yeah and you'll be the closer and we're throwing this out so use your regular material whatever five ten minutes you have just go up there and do that but so he goes up he tells he tells a couple keith girl related jokes because he had those already and then says okay they told me to stretch so i'm now gonna i don't know here's a story about the keith and i was with him on his last day of drinking he tells that story and i take them stay want me to keep going i don't know what else i'm like what happened to the magic.

cough hannah boone christian finnegan keith five ten minutes ten minutes