35 Burst results for "Judy"
Judge Judy Has Cast Her Own Biopic
"So Judge Judy Sheindlin, this is funny. She has a casting suggestion if a biopic has ever made about her life. She was completely serious when she said this. She says, although she'd prefer not to have a film made a better life. If she had to choose someone to play her, it would be Reese with a spoon. She said, we're Friends. She gets me. I know she does. Isn't it weird that some people like that are friends? How does Judge Judy and Reese Witherspoon know each other? Do you know Judge Judy always goes out between. The different court cases and smokes two cigarettes really quickly before she comes back and sits down? That's like part of everything she has to do. Never figured it for a smoker, but two cigarettes in a row in between episodes. That's in her contract.
Broncos beat Jaguars 21-17 in London to snap losing streak
"Latavius Murray's two yard scoring run late in the fourth quarter allowed the Broncos to beat the Jaguars 21 17 Russell Wilson led to go ahead scoring drives in the second half on his return from a hamstring injury He finished 18 of 30 for 252 yards with a touchdown and an interception as the three and 5 Broncos ended a four game losing streak Obviously the season hasn't gone the way we wanted to And it's not over yet There's a lot more to do There's a lot more that we want to accomplish Denver trail ten zero before Jerry Judy 6 yard TD grab in the second quarter Trevor Lawrence threw for just 133 yards one touchdown and two interceptions in Jacksonville's 5th law since 6 games I'm Dave ferry
Judy Gold Weighs in on Herschel Walker's Senate Candidacy
"What are your thoughts on him as a Senate candidate? Oh, he's brilliant. Stephanie, when we were off, you know, when we weren't shooting, he was always reading, just had a number of periodicals delivered directly to the set. Taking notes, just and we had so many intellectual discussions. Just really, it was just a, it was very, I can't even believe this is what they want, I just. Now to update you. Your job, they will literally put they pick him because he's black, right? And Raphael Warnock is black. So they're like, okay, now we have this black hero. He was a football player. You know, come on. Seriously, it is such, it's so racist. It's so racist. It's disgusting. And the fact that they're using him and he has no idea and the, you know, whenever I see these Republicans with their evangelical, you know, and they're all touching each other and. It's like, don't you know, they're so hypocritical. Yes. It's like, yes, yes, he might have had an abortion, but paid for an abortion. But you know, that's the old. No, it isn't. Now, did you hear, I don't know, you may be slept or did something else with your life this weekend so I don't know if you heard the update that the woman that he paid for the abortion had has another child with him, but the one that the woman that he does not know and has never heard of. Right, he does. Even though, had court ordered, he's paid court ordered. So there's already been a determination of DNA. And you know, the get well car. Oh, that's my, that's my handwriting. Yeah, 'cause I always send get well cards, like when my Friends have abortions. You know, a cold. If it is the fact that they don't care how qualified a person is, they just want power. They don't care about the state of our country. You know, I have no love for Lynne Cheney. Yeah. You know, and her policies and the fact that she voted with him 98%. But you do see that she values democracy.
Nancy Pelosi Spoke for Many Americans
"It not? Oh my God. Oh my God, Donald Trump subpoenaed. Nancy Pelosi saying she wants to punch him one to punch him on January 6th. I mean, it's Nazi punching. Oh my God. Yes. Yeah. I don't know how many orgasms I have. I stopped counting. I just played in a loop all night long. Nancy Pelosi. I'm telling you, it was the Ike and Tina in the back of the limo scene for us. It was just. Oh my God. She speaks for all of us. Yeah, how did phine sipka feel about you playing that over and over
Tristan Snell on New York's Fight Against the Trump Crime Family
"You prosecuted Trump university. So the stuff that you've been shouting on Twitter. It's just stuff that anybody from New York has said, this guy has been a crook, his whole life. Yeah, unfortunately, we had more experience with him here than the rest of the country got to find out about the Trump crime family. So yeah, the New York AG's office so far is two for two in bringing cases against against the trumps with Trump university and then the Trump foundation case. Now we have the big trumpet organization case, the Tisch James is bringing here for rampant fraud and the values properties. And we'll see how that one goes. I am everybody's expectations. I don't think the case is going to suddenly, you know, we're not going to see justice tomorrow. I know that it's always everybody's frustration. It's how slow these things go. But I do actually think that we're going to see that case progress over the course of the next year or so. And I actually think it will eventually settle. I don't think Trump's going to let that go to trial because he might lose everything. I think he's going to end up cutting a very big check to make that case go away, but I guess we'll see what happens.
America's Weird World of Harassment With Stephanie and Judy
"Isn't it just a weird conversation we're having now between the fucking pussy grabber and chief? Who's been incredibly accused by 17 women, including his first wife of rape. Oh, right. Yeah. And then took it back after there was a pre not, you know, not a prenup, excuse me, like a settlement. And they are just openly virulently racist, and so now we're playing this game, right? If false equivalence of, you know, although, did you hear the latest out of Virginia? Let's just say WTF Virginia. Yes, can someone say, can we reboot Virginia just unplug it and plug it back in? Like, Florida is looking at Virginia saying, give me back my weave. Right. It's like, what is going? Okay, but it's a Republican head of the state legislature. Who's fourth in line? Who what? Who's fourth in line? Yes. So the top war who edited all these racist yearbooks then put all these pictures in there. You're like really modifying you're going to play this game. So all right, we gotta have both of our all three of our people resign, right? I mean, if they have to go, he has to go. Yeah. So at least Democrats are and the lieutenant governor that's been accused of sexual harassment. At least Democrats like Kamala Harris are saying, Kamala, pardon me. Are saying, you know, give him due process. Al Franken didn't get due process. No, he did not. Right? No, he didn't. I mean, you know, Judy, I mean, this is different light for comedians, but I'm like, what I saw in that picture is a goofy comedian picture doing a USO tour. I just was like, yeah, I wasn't even touching her. Whatever the other things were like, oh, he was handsy during photo ops. I'm like, I really? No, it just goes back to what you said. You can not do anything now. You can not. Oh my God, do you know how many people had sexy liberals could sue me for being handsy during photo ops?
Stephanie and Judy Tenuta Perpare for Trump's 2019 State of the Union
"Judy, here's my point. We need extra liquor this week because it's a state of the union week. And listen to that orange motherfucker for an hour and 20 minutes. Oh, I loved Nancy pelo Nancy. Did we just love her? She made everything better. And then, and then do the fucking clap. Oh, I know. The papers. I just loved it. The paperwork. When she started doing Sudoku. I'm a boss, I got some shit to do. Go ahead. YouTube talking, but yeah, you keep squawking bitch. What a dick. I mean, you can tell, it's even bad when you see malaria over the years well I guess he's melanoma. Yeah, I guess he's speaking but I can't worry about it. Oh my God, there was one picture of her. She looked like one of the velociraptors. She was like, someone tweeted well, Melania looks relaxed and comfortable. She's been using the same toner that bronzer is. They become the same color. Yeah, she's the jeans too. She's orange now. She's orange brown, orange brown. Of all the lies that came out of The White House seriously? The whole, it's good genes. It's his color. Did you hear that? What did he say? Oh, he's a white hunter said his good genes are the result of his his tan, year round town as a result of good genes. Yeah.
In Memory of Our Dear Friend Judy Tenuta
"The world and the Steph had community, huge, huge loss of the passing of Judy tenuta this week. And it just for all of us personally and you Travis tweeted picture you said 16 year old Travis could have I could have told him he was going to meet Judy tenuta and just all of our stories of a first time meeting her or seeing her perform. She was just she was so nice and so warm and like to her it wasn't a big deal. To me it was like a huge thing, but to her it was like, oh no, come here, take a picture. She was the first. There's so many stories like that. You have no idea for all fans where she grew up in Chicago and just how and she never said no to me. I mean, an appearance on the show or a happy hour or sexy liberal or sexy liberal virtual that she didn't say yes to. And I was saying the saddest thing for me is the big comedy girl party I had when COVID first started to pass with Lily Tomlin and Paul pounce on all these legends. I of course invited Judy and she said my doctor says I can't because she was battling cancer at that time and immune compromised obviously. I got an email from her every birthday. Wishing me a happy birthday. I mean, she didn't have to do that. But she was such a sweet, sweet person. Offstage. And just the body person on stage. Documented her battle with cancer, and I guess you know how that is for all of us who are all rooting for her and, oh, maybe she beat it this time. And she did those hilarious, I don't know if you saw on Instagram that, you know, she put her face and Bette Davis or all these Photoshop. And just kept doing that, I mean, right up till very recently. And even though, you know, we knew she was battling ovarian cancer. You just somehow ends up being a shock. And just a huge loss for us personally and for just the comedy world, she was really so many people sort of hero and like you were saying, just as kind and generous and sweet in person as she was just outrageous and funny.
Judy Tenuta, brash 'Love Goddess' comedian, dies at 72
"Of sums up the kind of performer that Judy tenuta was brash with the sensitive side to her the veteran comedian who called herself the goddess of love has died at age 72 her publicist says she was a very funny amazing performer Her heart shaped face and poofy hair with the flowers stuck in it as an accessory gave her the appearance of being sweet and innocent but then she would open her mouth and say outrageous things like this time in 1994 in which she said she had no sympathy for Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold's marital issues Oh those pigs those grazing at us That
'I didn't want to miss it': Royal funeral on global live TV
"People around the world have been watching Queen Elizabeth's funeral on TV In Hong Kong British citizen Tom fell remembered being at the queen mother's funeral hand Princess Diana's So hard not to not to be there So he and others around the globe watched from a South African amphitheater She showed us courage She showed us Judy To British pubs in Paris It's a historical moment in English history and I didn't want to miss it And here in Washington Didn't feel right It is watching my own home Saw Germain Washington
Judy Gold Shares Her Take on the White House Correspondents' Dinner
"What did you think happened to be or the morning after The White House correspondents dinner? I thought Trevor Noah was great about the president was great. You know, it just made me, first of all, 6 years, the guy couldn't go to a oh. No. Yeah, I caught myself. Thank you. You know, the pre orange, the orange thing. Right. Such a baby. Couldn't go to The White House correspondent center because he is such a little child. And you know, comedy is such a weapon. Yeah. And he doesn't know how to use it because he's too dumb. So I loved it. I loved that, you know, I love that speech Trevor gave at the end. Yes. Because, you know, there's nothing like disarming an audience with comedy. And then, you know, and they listen and they love you after you disarm them and make them laugh and to be able to use that platform. I mean, talk about taking advantage of a situation. I loved that. Yeah. And I love that Biden. Yes. No, that's not for you. That's for him. Go ahead. You're not supposed to be looking at me. Go ahead. Oh, sorry. And I love that Biden. Mocked it. That hope that whole pandemic, you know, we had a play. Oh wait, well, that's what I was that's what I was doing. Hold on, here we go. This is the first time the president attended this dinner in 6 years. It's understandable. We had a horrible plague followed by two years of COVID. Hilarious and true, right? Right. And what a great joke and someone who can deliver a joke. And, you know, just bringing that humor back and that self effacing. That is part of our culture. Stand up is such a part of our culture because it's just an extension of free speech.
Was Gary Devore's Death the First Proven State Sponsored Killing?
"So basically this detective puts on a bunch of scuba gear and goes into this aqueduct with about 15 feet of water. And he finds the truck, he finds it. He locates it and says, I got him. You know, but there's no laptop and the skeleton in the car, which was Gary devore, has no hands. And in addition to having no hands, there are a lot of other things about this official report that were suspicious because now the police and the sheriff's department took over with reporting on this. His laptop, which contained the script called the big steel, and his gun, which he always carried, they were missing. And by the way, the aqueduct was searched extensively during the initial disappearance and they had no success, and it showed no signs of impact. And for the official account to work, Gary devore would have had to have driven three miles against traffic without being seen. And also, by the way, let's not forget this. His lights weren't on. So the drive would have been in complete darkness. For three miles, going against the grain of traffic. And according to a Hollywood investigative reporter, Donald crutchfield, who worked for many famous people like Judy Garland, Frank Sinatra, Marlon Brando. He said, evil knievel on his best night couldn't do this. So I know this all seems unbelievable. But that's exactly why doctor Alfred spent almost ten years investigating whether somebody or some organization had Gary devore killed. It's very difficult to actually prove something happened like a murder, but you can prove that something didn't happen like an impossible accident. How can you possibly turn around on a freeway and drive three miles against traffic with your lights off? If those facts are accurate and a bunch of experts say it would not have been possible, then you got to go so far as to say, you know, you've proven the first state sponsored killing in the United States. And therefore, the murder had to have been a cover up and our government kept it secret.
Ohio's J.D. Vance Joins Charlie to Share the Latest on His Race
"Back to the program. Hey, Charlie. Thanks for having me, man. How's your race going? Give us the update. Yeah, it's cold good, you know, the good thing is that people want to hire just frustrated with Biden and can remind their frustrated with the fact that these guys have made energy way more expensive than it needs to be. They're frustrated with the fact that they're so radical on every issue to where if you think that we should have a secure southern border in this country than Tim Ryan and Joe Biden basically think that you're a racist. And I always tell people look, we've got a ton of fiddle pouring into our state that's killing a lot of our people. I don't care what they call us. We got to defend that southern border and actually shut it down. But the one thing that he does have going for him is just a ton of money. And so I always tell people, if you want to help us out, go to Judy Vance dot com because the national Democrats, Charlie, had built this incredible national fundraising platform. It's actually in some ways impressive. Of course, part of what's going on is that they have the advantage of the big technology companies. And so if you look at the censorship of a Republican fundraising email, the rate at which it's put into people's spam filters into people's junk box folders and you compare that to democratic fundraising emails. I mean, it's crazy. It's like 80% of Republican emails are getting filtered, maybe 5% of Democrat flutterings, the emails are getting filtered. So what we were really in a fundraising war where the Democrats and aligned with the big tech industry and because of it, we need all the help that we can get. If we get it though, if we're able to tell our story, Charlie, I'm not worried at our about our race at all. And I think we are going to have a red wave because people are fed up.
The Broncos Need Williams and Jeudy to Be Young Stars
"Cecil lammy wrote in his mile high Monday piece, the Broncos need javonte Williams and Jerry Judy to be stars stink. Stars. Yeah, well, I think the javonte Williams is. I mean, nobody broke more tackles than he did last year. The guy is efficient in the passing game, blitz pick up, can catch the ball to the backfield and we know what kind of runner he is. So I think that guy has already put the league on notice as far as stardom is concerned. Jerry Judy is a bigger question mark. Yep. Just a bigger. You got to be productive. And you got to stay healthy, which is a skill. You gotta produce even when you don't feel great and production has been in issue. So I mean, you can be, you can tweet out that I just guess I got my sprints in today and all that garbage, but bottom line you have to be productive. And obviously with a quarterback situation that we have now compared to what we've had with Jerry Judy, there are no more excuses. You can't, if Jerry Judy is in productive now, you can't say, well, I mean, look at the quarterback situation. Look at the coordinator situation. Look at what was going on. Now is the time and this is the kind of rubber meets the road place for Jerry Judy and his
Civil jury finds Bill Cosby sexually abused teenager in 1975
"There's a verdict in the Bill Cosby sexual assault lawsuit near Los Angeles a civil jury in Santa Monica California has found that Bill Cosby did sexually abuse a 16 year old girl at the Playboy mansion in 1975 the Los Angeles County jury delivered the verdict in favor of Judy huff who is now 64 and awarded her half a $1 million Juris found that Cosby intentionally caused harmful sexual contact with huff that he reasonably believed that she was under 18 and that his conduct was driven by unnatural or abnormal sexual interest in a minor It is a major defeat for the 84 year old entertainer who was once held as America's dad It comes nearly a year after
Cosby lawyer urges jurors to consider only proof from trial
"Cruising arguments have been made in the sexual abuse trial of Bill Cosby in California Here's what the jurors got to hear A prosecutor told jurors they should know in their hearts that Bill Cosby did sexually assault Judy huff at the Playboy mansion in 1975 when she was just 16 and that they should hold him accountable for that an attorney for the comedian told the panel to look past years of public accusations against the actor and comedian and consider only what was presented in this case Cosby's lawyers say this in the matter at hand hoth in her attorneys did not come close to proving what they call a 50 year old he said she said case Cosby did not testify in the civil lawsuit the jury did see a 2015 deposition that he gave in it he denies any sexual contact between him and huff she says however he forced her to do a sex act on him I'm Oscar wells
"judy" Discussed on Pop Culture Happy Hour
"The end of the fall Judy here just shines and Vincent minnelli, who directed it and is obviously Liza Minnelli's father and that's how they met and fell in love. He framed Judy Garland like an adult like a beautiful young woman and that was tied into so much of her career, right? It was always feeling not just nervous about things, but also feeling not as beautiful as the other glamorous MGM stars of the day. Like the Lana turners and the Elizabeth Taylor. So to see her sort of presented in this more adult way and be treated that way and it's just such a beautiful movie and I think it's a great introduction to early Judy Garland. That is not The Wizard of Oz. Trolley song went viral on like gay Twitter like last year because it was people my age posting the trolley song and were like, I'm trolley posting, playing clay. Oh my goodness. Yeah, it became a meme and that's sort of continued proliferation of meet me in St. Louis and the trolley song. It has that sort of intergenerational connection because it's so emotional driven. Like you said, all the songs are about feelings. The trolley song is so propulsive. You feel like you're moving on the trolley. It's just like, oh my God. Yeah. Fabulous. Yeah. Well, my pick manages to be, I think you will agree somehow even gayer than all of your previous picks put together. Really? How is that possible? Good luck with that. It features not one, but two gay divas. It is a duet, Garland performed with a then 21 year old, wait for it. Barbara streisand for one of the 26 specials that Garland made for CBS in 1963. Now streisand performed several songs on the show to promote her album, the Barbra Streisand album. One of the songs had been released that was her version of a 1929 tune that had been FDR's campaign song half 8 days are here again. Streisand's take on it, of course, was very much slowed down and melancholy, and Garland had the idea to match streisand's version with one of her own songs, get happy, which she first performed in the film summer stock in 1950. Let's have a quick listen. So let's sing the song come on you haven't cheated again happiness I hear I can't when streisand first comes out to perform the number, the two of them do all this little phony showbiz bit about how much they hate each other because they're just so wonderful and Judy kicks it off by really trying to dig underneath the bit to really sell it. You can see her kind of reaching for the words. She's doubling down on the dialog to make it seem like it's not on cue cards and it's not all written right in front of her. And you're so good that I hate you. I really hate you. You're so good. Oh, Judy. That's so sweet of you. Thank you, you know. You're so great that I've been hating you for years. And this is what I mean when I say the artifice is there for a reason. We see how much she needs it. We see how much he loves it. If you were in the audience and you didn't know how showbiz worked. And you thought for a second that Judy might be serious about how much I hate you. As soon as Barbara starts talking, you're like, oh, oh, it's a bit we're back on firm ground. And this moment is often seen as a passing of the torch moment, one diva to another. And streisand is just perfectly comfortable in her skin. She is not about showing us her vulnerability. That is not her. She is about showing us perfection. And as they're singing, she like glanced over Judy a few times, but it's purely perfunctory. Judy's affect, of course, is entirely different in this number. She is hyper aware, she's a little twitchy. And in that opening dialog, she's kind of searching Barbara's face, but then she starts singing and this is something we've all talked about in different ways. As soon as she starts singing, it kind of melts all her cares away to coin a phrase. She still emoting all over the place, right? But it's so much more relaxed and assured. And at peace and it's here we really get that performing is the closest this woman is ever going to come to being at peace. You know, there was another kind of performance that Garland wanted to be known for. And I was torn. I almost picked judgment at Nuremberg. The thing is, it's a very small part. But she was wonderful in it and got a nomination for an Oscar for it. And she was taken seriously as an actress, finally, after all those years. And people had said nice things about her, but what as long as she was still performing music in her movies, she was never taken as seriously as she would have been, had she decided to do straight parts, and she just sort of didn't judgment at Nuremberg is also, I mean, for her scenes, it's breathtaking. It's really amazing to watch. Yeah, that and the clock. That was another straight role where she doesn't sing in it. But yeah, I mean, we talked a lot about the singing, but obviously without that, we wouldn't also have the acting moments and she does have so many just wonderful straight acting performances that I think, especially in a movie like the pirate or there's a lot of screwball sort of physical comedy in there that she's just she was just great. Love her. Yeah, I think that's where we're gonna land. She was just great. Tell us what your favorite Judy Garland works are, find us at Facebook dot com slash PCH, and on Twitter at PCH, that brings us to the end of our show. Bob Mandela ran a cruise, ayesha Harris, thanks to all of you for being here. It was great. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Love to be among friends with Dorothy. A reminder before we go, NBR is doing its annual survey to better understand how listeners like you spend time with podcasts. Please help us out by completing a short anonymous survey at NPR dot org slash podcast survey. We would really appreciate your help to support NPR podcasts. That's NPR dot org slash podcast survey. Thank you for listening to pop culture, happy hour from NPR, this episode was produced by Mike Katz and edited by Jessica reedy and hello come in provides the music you may or may not be bobbing your head to right now. I'm Glenn Weldon and we will see you all tomorrow. On this season of the podcast from NPR, stories about the helpers. People who reached out a hand, even when they didn't have to. Most people see people in a time of need and they do look away. So I was just wondering, what made you talk to me? 'cause it made my day a lot better. Listen to our new season, it's out now. This message comes from NPR sponsor, Geico. How would you love a chance to save some money on car insurance? Geico can help. Switch today and see all the ways you could save with great rates and discounts. 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'Donkey Kong defense' arises at Bill Cosby sex abuse trial
"Could the title of a video game tilt the Bill Cosby sexual assault case in favor of the comedian The Twinkie defense the affluenza defense and now the donkey Kong defense is coming into play this time in the Bill Cosby sexual assault case and attorney for the comedian for us to key witness over her previous statements about which arcade game she was playing when she and plaintiff Judy hoth were in the Playboy mansion with Bill Cosby as teens in 1975 huff alleges that she and Donna samuelsson were playing video games in a large room with a bedroom next to it both in a 2014 police interview and a 2016 deposition Samuelson said she was playing donkey Kong Cosby's lawyers no donkey Kong did not come out until 1981 6 years later As to explain the discrepancy Samuelson answered I got the name wrong Samuelson and the jury was shown a photo of the game room that was taken in 2016 there of donkey Kong game could be seen and Samuelson was asked for the similar photos taken after 1975 could have affected her memory and testimony Samuelsson replied that she had not seen that image until the 2016 photo was shown to her in court during testimony last week Cosby's attorneys plan to argue to the jury that the discrepancy should undermine the case against the comedian Cosby's attorneys feel that if the jury believes samuelsson was lying about the title of the video game it would undercut her testimony that Cosby approached her from behind and put his hands on her shoulders and testimony from hoth that the comedian forced her to do a sex act on him A Moscow's Gabrielle
Virus Outbreak Nurses-Nurses intro and wrap
"The front lines of the pandemic are inspiring a new crop of nurses Danny Burgos used to have a different New York dream before graduating from the Columbia University school of nursing Try not to roll your eyes when I repeat that yes I used to be a Broadway actor After the show in Pittsburgh he was in was shut down by the pandemic Burgos saw a photo of a nurse taking off their N95 mask with the imprint of the mask on their face And that struck me I was like this is someone who at who is now actually putting their physical body in front of something for someone Judy wolf at the Columbia school of nursing says there's a lot of Danny Burgos is out there in the middle of the pandemic Colombia had its biggest nursing application class ever What these students symbolize or represent for us is hope Burgo says at least not going to make his Broadway dream come true I'm going to make another one come true here I'm Ed
"judy" Discussed on Pop Culture Happy Hour
"When we talked about the show made, we talked a little bit about the grind of being poor. Judge Judy is actually another place where you can sometimes see stories about the grind of being poor, which I think because I don't think she's particularly sensitive to those things. But if you're kind of paying attention to what's actually being said on the show, you can see those things. You can but Linda, I would argue that frequently people are being made fun of for those things. I mean, I agree. Like watching the new show Judy justice. I was looking at the lower thirds, lower thirds is a technical term for how they caption people when they're on screen. And one person, the lower third said, sandy villa. Admits she does not work. I mean, things like that. They're clearly trying to use the people as punchlines oftentimes. And when I say the people, I mean, not just Judy, but the producers and everybody else on the show. Absolutely. To be clear, I am not saying this show has that kind of sensitivity to this. I'm just saying, the show is a 100%. I think institutionally on board with her view. It's just that if you actually watch the stories of the people you start to see what it is they're doing to stay afloat if that makes sense. Yeah. I mean, I often come away feeling sympathetic towards a lot of the litigants on screen. If not for, you know, maybe the not great decisions they may have made, but because she just seems like a utterly terrifying person to stand in front of and obviously it's a choice to do that. You don't have to be seen by Judge Judy, but when you think about the way the show is set up and you've already mentioned this, Linda, but the fact is, is that when you go on this show, your expenses are paid and whatever you win or lose, that's paid by the show. So that's another reason why most of the cases you're seeing occasionally you'll get cases where it's like these rich people who ruin their boat or something. But usually usually it's people who you hit my car. We were in accident or you were supposed to babysit my kid and you like all these things. It's people who do have to scrimp and save and that is the incentive to go on the show. And so I can see how I can see how watching this show is very much complicating all of my morals. But I still, there's something about it that I just can't stop watching. Although I don't know if I'll keep watching Judy justice because, well, for one, IMDb TV. And also I was gonna say they've disrupted the ritual now. IMDb TV and then on top of that, it's just a weird, now that they have two extra characters who don't really have a reason to be there except that one is her granddaughter, and the other one is a stenographer who is, why do we need a stenographer? We don't have bird as the bailiff anyway. Our bird the longtime bailiff of Judge Judy bailiff. Yeah. I also sometimes find it funny. How absolutely certain she is of her own version of common sense. It was so strange she'll be like, nobody would do that. Nobody would ever do that. That's ridiculous, nobody would do that. And I sit there thinking and then I raised my hand and I'm like, I do that all the time. She also has this horrible saying where she's like, yeah, do you know how to tell if a kid is lying if their mouths are moving? And I'm like, if they're guns are flapping..
"judy" Discussed on Pop Culture Happy Hour
"Joining us is Kristen mines are she is the co host of the podcast movie therapy with rafer and Kristen. She's also the co author of how to be fine. Welcome back, Kristen. Thank you so much for having me back. I am so pumped to talk about Judy because as we all know, beauty fades, but dumb is forever. It's true. It's true you talking about her book people can find that on your podcast by the book, yes? Yes, we lived by the book that's actually called beauty fades dumb as forever, but it was a big toss up between living by that or don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining because, you know, she's got so many hits, right? Right. It's true. It's true. And we should say at the top that if you have ever seen Judge Judy, you have essentially seen Judy justice. It is almost the exact same show. A couple of modest variations. The cases are a bit longer. There's a court reporter and a law clerk. But otherwise, it's basically the same show, except that she has a ponytail and wears a purple robe instead of a black robe, but she doesn't have the lace collar anymore. She's going for a sportier look. The case is in this show as with Judge Judy tend to be about relatively modest amounts of money. They arise from things like dog bites, property damage, landlord tenant stuff, people who fail to learn the most important lesson, which is never ever cosine. And never, ever put anybody else on your car insurance or your cell phone plan. As for how shows like this work, these are real people involved in these cases who have an actual dispute as far as we know. The show functions as basically a private arbitrator that the party's agreed to use instead of court, so the arbitrator really does have the ability to decide the dispute and then that's it. You can't go to court after that or peel or whatever. But according to the fine print at the end of the show, and this is I think pretty common for courtroom shows. Monetary damages are paid from a fund maintained by the producer. So if you win money, you do get it, but from the show and not from the other person..
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"Parents and both my parents are both deceased. I awaken to this After my mother's done and think my subconscious allow me to look at what i had been living with my whole life. And actually you know dr. Judy had a boyfriend. I hadn't had a relationship and ten years prior. And i met this guy. It's totally engaging to me. And he went to the whole narcissistic. But i didn't really have to pull appreciation for what that meant. Yes until he told me with the hammer and that was an awakening. If any could so when you said you couldn't hear the word before but something about a hammer. What did he do attack me with him. He literally attacked you. So it wasn't just a verbal attack. It was physical attack. Yes ma'am lifestyles for my eyes. Wow well my. I lived at to awaken to a much bigger three and that was the story took me back to my parents and something that i could never really totally see but totally did see and it was your show one of the first really sort of help. Enlighten me to this. You know phenomenon and you know it's just like a little over and as you keep on covering and uncovering before you know it you've got a dinosaur mastodon and the whole life. It's just it's like taking your house throwing everything onto the floor and having to just reorganized it all exactly. And that's why you see you bring up a point. One elaborate a little bit on the aspect of proactive versus reactive. Chaos cause chaos is just that it takes you down. Okay you see those bombs broken all over the place and so that's what i call the the effect of childhood wounds and of course your Ex-boyfriend friend also had his share of childhood wounds. For sure i know this for sure. You know this for sure. The listeners know this you don't have to have to know this because he had such a whole missile that his way was to project on his pain onto you and what did you deserve That you did to get a hammer Attack on you okay. So you could see. The crack lends a perception right short of you trying to attack him and his and his defending himself. That's pretty distorted. Isn't that the kind of response to you. Well you know it took me by surprise. But one thing i understood that i had been surrounded by this kind of behavior my whole life and it was normalized to me and i was feeling like didn't bother me that much and i think that was the key. The fact that his behavior and his manipulation didn't bother me and the evening that he took a hammer me was one when he was humidity. Humiliated himself passed out trying to do something that he couldn't do and i didn't ridicule him but he woke up feeling very ashamed. Next thing i know he was throwing tools in the house that he had a hammer my hair and then he helped me captive in the house hostage on my own home for like four hours until they finally got him out and that was really pathetic. It's very scary but it was. Let's see there's no kidding right and this is how sneaks up on you is because it's normalized and at the way i put it in my book and also in the treatment is that parents set the bar so if you grew up in an alcoholic family for example it may be normal to be drinking A lot of alcohol every night and getting junk may be normal in hangover. Certain normal and the you is our normal and driving drunk as lola until somebody gets killed for me a pay And so whatever we're doing within our families as parents are setting the bar for our children and so when you meet somebody that's familiar and familial mu now feel with that's your norm and so Y y y is that bad. Why is it so bad. You know doesn't feel good but that's not. That bad happened in my own family. And that's where it's so subtle but that's where you have to wake up. It's like the way. I my favorite metaphor is it. A fish doesn't know that it's swimming in dirty water until they get into cleaner water and then they feel differently and they see clearly and they they get a kind of like their own. A ha you know. Of course bearish whatever they could get but you understand. What i'm getting at here is that you don't see it until you see something new. A glimpse of the light. A glimpse of clarity glimpse of the truth. And that's what the mind. Map system is geared to do is to pull you out of the old system and rather than habit taking you down. We need the therapist and the patient. Take it down to gather because it's only when the system is taken down that we can rebuild from scratch and recode into health. So that's what we're doing. They're politically is were ripping it down so that you cannot any longer Build on it and you cannot any longer use it as your blueprint for life. I've got a positive Twist on this as well. I mean at least for myself okay. Now growing up. My parents weren't alcoholics. But my mother was very invalidating very sadistic. She was a raider. My father just comparing enabling he was also had very little empathy. He beat me as well. You know there was physical abuse. They abuse. When i was eight with my mother i felt the predatory nature with her. And i probably bury the rest of that So much going on. I was on my own living. I was sleeping in my car at age. Sixteen i heard you know i had to go out and i knew it at that point that i only had myself which is good but it's also bad not to ask for help but i finished high school. I went off to college. I got a career. I got three. Master's degrees had a wonderful career in..
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"Here and on the founder of the mind map system for healing human disconnect the be the cause mind map system just by way of took introduction and i am the Also the head of the psychological healing center and I know we have a caller some kind of rushing the introduction and thank you so much for berry with all the technical issues. I'm hoping that everyone is now Able to hear me properly the volume. Good the lighting good and the technical good so tonight show is about adult children loop rented to turn against the parent by the narcissistic parent very very painful. I've been seeing case after case of situations like this. I'm working with people where this is a real issue for them. And there's nothing like divorcee your narcissist and then having your own child be the carbon copy of that x. and then turning against you so let's start by taking the call. Hi you are on the air. Accu doctor judy they hang up. They hung up so keep going callback. Call back okay. So then i have a little more time to dissect the topic and as most of you know. We're gonna be doing lots. And lots of mind mapping and looking at blueprints because i'm a systems thinker. That's my goal with. You is to help you cheat. Think like a shrink meaning to knock depend on therapy for months and years but actually the have the analytic ability to play psychological detective with yourself and the world around you and see things clearly because what are lengths of perception is cracked. We don't see ourselves clearly. We don't see the world around us clearly that of course we than multi generational blueprint our very own children to copycat are psycho. The thala g with the emphasis on psycho. So my doing this topic because there's a lot of paint around it and i'll just Bring up case study number nine thousand nine hundred ninety nine bulges. Call it back. Because i like the number nine and the and the nine and the threes or my special numbers because you could see the mind. Map is divided to nine panels the first to be being the wounds of childhood the reactions. We have to these wounds. In how we blueprint or encode the pass and this section is called the past and coding. Now the middle is the chaos and the defense the breakdown of today with the opportunity of course to break through and then we've got shifting out of all this mass and once we could see straight once we could take down destructive blueprints that no longer service in our no longer Shadowing over us and distorting our psycho perception we can paradigm shift and create synergy within ourselves at within relationships and recode ourselves at either. 'cause of a better outcome for our life so let's see what the royd is going on with. Children adult children who now attack the parent. It's almost like you read. A child is supposed to read a child with all the right ingredients. And of course we don't. We don't give our children the right ingredients. We can't be too surprised that they're going to turn against us. However this is a special case where the child adult child i'll say identifies with the narcissistic parent and then becomes like the narcissistic parent against the other parent. So in a general sense. How does miss began. I'm going to start by describing An article on the dynamics of parent alienating by sharee stein's article in june. Two thousand seventeen so alien nation syndrome is a term coined by richard gardner in the eighties and describes a condition generated in the context of divorce child custody disputes which parents created an alliance with their child against the other parent. The child influenced in part by the alienating parent contributes to divide dynamic but the dynamic by denigrating the targeted parents so the child adult child begins to demean and the value and destroy that other parent So in essence that don't cha now takes on these narcissistic traits. And why does that happen. Well i'll give you some examples of what i see in the treatment room. Sometimes this happens because A child of their own childhood wounds with the parents bring to the psychological table To their own children and how is narcissism formed narcissism is a lack of empathy and assistant gone wrong where the parent one or both put. Their children could their own and needs before the needs of the child another way narcissism is formed is when parents Spoil rotten their child. Control their child and turn them into a mini. Me's of their own agenda for example if daddy wanted to be a football player but didn't quite make it. He may want to encourage his son to play out the role that he could never fulfil so no longer. Is the child free to do what he or she wants. He is now a being coerced rewarded at a demeaned. If he doesn't comply with a parrot now this could take shape informed By by the mother to the daughter for example. Let's say the mother wants to have a daughter take care of her. She might room that daughter to be her little servant and comply with all her snap Demands and reward her for compliance and make her the golden child for this compliance and then kicked to the curb the other children's since they're just not really on her team and so he could see that this is a system gone terribly wrong and when one parent and another parents get divorced or separated. What happens is that the child usually takes their anger and resentment out on the parents that is probably the healthier and more empathic appearance because the love there is not a conditional the parents who is more narcissistic as more the conditional lee a loving. I'll put that in quotes because it's not love the apathetic parents who uses the child to fill on their own agenda and so the child needs to keep that vaughan with the other parent..
"judy" Discussed on Inside the Studio
"The last eighteen months have definitely been a challenging time for what's been keeping you grounded and i'm feeling good. Oh lots of things We have had a very privileged locked down in the sense that i had never. I had not had a vacation. I had not had time off in so many years. And quite frankly i needed it. I needed a break. And i was always told for years. Why don't you get you know you've got to be able to take a few months off in the summer. I was never able to because you wanna make a living. You have to show up the dates coming in so there was no way to really do that for any length of time. I mean maybe you'd get. I don't know just was not and so when it happened for me. It was an advantage. Because i got the time off and you know. I took a nap every day every day. I mean i did anyway because i'm in my eighties. Now people do that in their eighties. They take naps. And i've taken full advantage of that privilege. But i also continued working and the working and the being able to sit down every day and work at the piano and work on writing and trying to write to poetry and songs and so. It's it's a wonderful thing to be able to do to have to have some Enlightening moments and then of course to be able to unfortunately watch what is going in the world and be devastated by the death. I mean i've lost. I lost a couple of friends that were very close to me and You know that's that's horrible and of course. The devastation of the discount is something that takes your breath away really. And i'll have to say a word for wearing masks and forgetting vaccinated. It's essential not just it's not about you. It's about everybody in your family. It's about the people you interact with. It's about your neighbors and to think to think it's just about yourself is extremely short-sighted. I'm glad you were able to get some time for yourself. I know you're doing one hundred fifty shows a year or something like that. I think i read. It's hundred twenty but almost incredible when you write every day almost like people. some people do yoga everyday. Some people draw. It's a daily practice for you to Oh yeah and i jog. I work on the treadmill take walks. They work on the bicycle friday. Do my stretches. yeah i have to. I mean there's no way to keep up with what's going on physically unless you're exercising and eating right. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't scream. You know you have to give up a lot to say on the plan. An interview gave recently. I'm trying to remember who it was with a a read. it might have been with. Aarp and you said something that i will never forget. Somebody was asking you about about retirement. You gave an amazing response. I swear member for the rest of my life you saying that retirement was created in the industrial revolution. I wanted to ask you more about that. That's so fascinating created by management. It was created by by the one percent to keep the rest of us for making money as we grow older you fire per people at a certain level because if they stay longer they're gonna cost you more money. It's we throw people out of anyway. I think retirement was invented. You know if you're a rancher. You never retire. I suppose. That's in my dna in my in my history my farming and some degree ranching farming at but being an artist. You never tire. I mean there's no you wouldn't why would you. How could you retire from doing something that had kept you alive and probably kept you from jumping off a roof being creative and having being poet or writer painter an artist of any kind of communicator. You know you have to keep going because it's part of your dna part of who you are. it's not just. The product is the essential discipline of doing those things on a daily basis. Which makes you capable of not only staying on the planet but also contributing. I feel like that's something that a lot of people forget. These days becomes about the product. Yeah true now thank goodness we have wonderful. People like you judy collins. It has been a true pleasure and an honor. Thank you so much for your time today and.
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"You are perfect being until those people came in and messed you up so blaming yourself and go back to the idea that gee if i take all that crap and the put into me and throw it away because it's real anyway what they wanted to control me. And that's all they did. They they want to control you and they went and they they are weeks insecure individuals and the only way they can make themselves feel good is to make someone else feel bad and that's the all right there just what you said. What's in it for them. A worse you feel they get brownie points every time you feel bad and and your father diverse from your home run or your eight-plus or whatever it's almost like It's like when you are narcissistic Wounded in you have that hole in the soul and someone comes off as better than you more successful than you. The nazis direct threat. So what do you do. You want to chop it down at what you want it. Here's a classic example of him in our family. We would want to get involved in something. There might be an event at school or church or or something in the neighborhood and you would do everything in this power to make sure that our family. We did not participate or that. We did something else that day. Or he would isolate us so that we were always under his control and not influenced by outside parties if he had anything to say about it and if we were influenced by outside parties and we came home and said. Oh gee i just listened to the greatest Speaker down in school today. And i was impressed with what he said he would instantly terror that guy down and say how stupid it was and don't listen to that and data that wears heels control. He wanted to make sure that we always stayed in his control. But that's the fallacy of the whole thing. And i just i i wanna thank you again for For all that you're doing you're so welcome in and i you know i always say this. It's so true. I love what i'm doing because it's always the challenge in always gotta figure out of got. It's almost like Like it so much because it's like psychological detective work for me in. Let's let's figure out who done it. What happened how it all got in there. At the computer bought warped out those virus got in there had have process them through and then how to really more out of the whole mess so on. That's what happens. Get him get him to revert back to the clean slate. That is the paradigm shift. So you look at panel number seven. You will see that a panel set. Evan comes together and there's light in the center center so were restored to the clean slate state through integrating ourselves were restored in that light in. The center is a metaphor for the clear perception. So now we're seeing in being differently. Where new being we're seeing clearly. It's the clear i of perception. So thank you so much over sharing what what you experienced in your childhood and then what you discovered for yourself in i just want to reiterate that most people don't don't wake up they just do not you said. Oh my god. I was sixty and just started waking up this while some people. Most people don't wake up and that's the sad story of humanity. Is they keep going through for five. Six chaos defenses breakdown. So that's where most of us live so. I think we can do better than that. And i really really appreciate your insights and tracking your your entire life and sharing with everybody on on the show tonight. So and i know i want again. I want to encourage it all the other listeners. To don't give up because the end result of pun getting this clean slate back and getting your freedom back. It is such a lifestyle. It's it's overwhelmingly beautiful. It's a great experience and it's not impossible and and I thought it was. But i once i realized that it wasn't me and that it was always in my control to to take my life back in and maintain my boundaries and to protect my self from outside people who are trying to interfere with it Jesus the the power and the freedom is so feel so good. And i just wanna encourage people. Don't give up. thank you down okay. I know we'll speak again appreciate it. Okay that's fly. Call the book. Be the cause because dale was the cause of the outcome of his life and he's an example of how we can all the costs because part one sonar fall to some all. Our fault who are parents are were. It's not our fault with they've programmed into us. It's not our fault that they got programmed with their psycho virus. And so you can see. This is a multi generational trickle down thing in. If you bust. The system gone wrong. Guess what happens you now. Lay down a healthy blueprint for the next generation in that story stops. So that's how powerful this thing is if there are no other callers. Aw i'll go on a little bit more. Are there any other call. Oh awesome okay. Hi nine three seven. You're on with dr judy. Thank you what is your name please. Hi i'm sorry. it's nice nice to hear a voice. thanks for calling in. yeah I i figured things out thirty nine. Also okay and that my mother was the nursing and he's kinda paver well. My sister sent me something. And i'm like wow that all quits. And i started doing research and i started And kind of got independence from kind. Kinda yeah so recently she. I know she okay. I have lost two hundred pounds but is a domestic. I regained it. All kind of. I don't know because it the protection thing She asked me to be a caretaker because She's position i know she's in a nursing home and see and yeah and there's like the leader so my condo in new then they would be a body in the this alone. Let me just comment on that for. So i'm so sorry that you're in that position and the pandemic has really done on us and you know. We resorted defense mechanisms. Some people use food. Some people use alcohol. Some people use gambling in on whatever it is and now we're back man in isolation ward more or less somewhat sort of a. I don't know where we're at. actually. I guess we're receiving news all the time but you know what you're talking about is parents that steal their children's lives and then they become they they put you at their service so you become their here taper. Become their made you become their little best friend you. There confidante their author cook there. Whatever and this is so sad. This is in line with Abuse because what are parents supposed to do for their children. They're supposed to help them grow stronger supposed to help them become hopefully deep pendant so that they can Hatch out of the nest so to speak and fly in separate individually the narcissist Parent is going to do the opposite. It's going to drag you back down into the system and make sure that you don't fly. Okay you're thought you've got a scary okay. While i still all right. Maybe you did escape. You have to be very careful that you're living life for yourself and i'm not saying don't be compassionate with your parents and don't help them in time of need in the.
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"Cedeno will collapse so this negative core beliefs department. If you will is where all of these in coatings happen. All of the negative core beliefs occur. Now what we're doing is we're translating these messages into the cognition and these translations sound they asleep sound pretty horrible and sometimes people are shocked at what they believe in and so it comes up in. The treatment room are negative core beliefs. I can list thousands of them. But i'll just list some of them and some of them sound like you're a loser. You're not good enough. You're you're you should. You should a. You shouldn't even be you. Shouldn't even be inborn If you don't please me then you're not going to be loved the you are fat. You're ugly this goes on and on. And this is what i mean by the inner critic so the critic is actually these horrendous negative core beliefs that get ingrained in there and then like a broken record they get repeated and like a broken record. They don't just unravel from positive affirmations. They don't just unravel by cute little techniques like stop thought stopping they just stove because they're deep in there. Why are they deepen their. Because when we're babies we are permeable membranes. Meaning we so everything in and we believe our parents and we take on the The messages about parents because we solve define through the eyes of our parents that means that we see ourselves through the eyes of our parents. And i know that there's somebody that s- trying to call in calling my phone. So hopefully bill reach the the number to call. Okay awesome. i all right three six zero. You're live on air. Thank you for calling. And who is this please. Dale from washington doctor. Judy how are you doing nice to hear from you. I i just wanted to We've talked before. And i'm in my Later sixties and. I didn't get all of this. Figure it out until just if Four or five years ago i. It's kind of sad that you wake up After the majority of life has been lived but I had a covert narcissist father who We were Taught to do well in school and to have this image as a family and to excel but whenever we brought home the trophy or we brought home the a plus on the report card. We were told that while we were not that special and that we shouldn't get a big head about anything and that so you you learned that And it wasn't from my mother. She was very much supportive but it was the father and looking to him as a young child. Is your kind of your hero I quickly learned that It wasn't appropriate to pat yourself on the back or to get excited or happy about anything and he made sure that whenever we had a special occasion no matter what it was at school or church or Holidays whatever he would somehow right and then a little bit ruin the whole thing for everybody. And he was a covert narcissist and seed have that disapproval thing and he'd all of a sudden have the headache or something would be traumatic in his life and all of a sudden everybody else's situation was totally all my god we've gotta somehow focus on him and It was just a pattern that at that time. You don't see it but now as you understand this this process that you described and what goes on in these dysfunctional families and it doesn't have to be both parents it can be just one I can see it and the sad part was is that it's steals your Confidence out from underneath you know ms. I said we were successful and there was no doubt that we got great grades. We excelled at what we did includes most everything but throughout my life. There were opportunities where i would say. Gee what when my dad do in this situation. What would he think. Or if i did this what would he say. And there were times. When i asked his advice on on business dealings financial things Land acquisition whatever. It was and he would frown or he just keep a silent to it or eat. Say oh gee. I just don't want to get involved. I mean no confidence at all. Just and i would sit there and think gee i must be doing something wrong and then i would pull off and i would let the thing go and then i looked back at all those situations and had i followed through my instincts which were pretty good. It would have been a whole different life but you know it took me sixty some years to wake up and find out that you were in this dysfunctional family Might no choice of your own and that you fell victim to all of this. And and what you do. Psychologically as you put these self imposed limits on yourself. You put self-imposed guilt You put self-imposed Feelings of gee i. I'm not doing well enough right. I'm displeasing someone else. Who really doesn't care about you anyway. So this is what i woke up to. And when i finally figured that all out and it freed me well. Unfortunately he's already dead but but it took it took after his death for me to figure that out but even after he was dead he had control over me up until i figured out what this was and this dysfunctional family think. And i'm thankful for for the advancement of the discussion. So that other people can finally say. Gee i'm going to remove the artificial boundaries. I placed on myself because someone else has placed them on me mentally. I'm carrying this inside. And i don't need to just throw those chains way and get get it out of your system. Spit out that poison and understand that it isn't real. It's not real. It's none of that. Insiders the pain is real the anxiety the depression. They all those right right. Yeah but but in reality There's nobody there that can stop you from from moving away from that and going on to a better life. I'm so glad that you you mentioned of the aspect that you don't even innocent adults even though you knew better right your brain new something wrong here. But it didn't matter because it was already too late at a ready got in there. I know the cycle virus. That's why i like to call the saipem virus it penetrates in and so here. You are an intelligent man and you knew what he was gonna do say and yet you still asked him so dad what he think of this and that and it was the same old same old the frown and the lack of caring and the diversion and in again apathy thing. That's just so painful. In is speaking of apathy and he was really stealing the show from you because every time you excelled he would tear it down and diverting attention to himself just like in the form of a true system gone wrong the narcissistic system the narcissist steals. The show thought to be the center of attention up. I was in a little league state championship. Game and i was cleanup batter and well he would not come to the game. My mom and sisters went and they were in the stands. And i got up to bat basis reloaded. I hit a grand slam home run and if anybody knows baseball. That's a pretty big achievement. Came home and i was delighted to tell him what i had done. And he baseball's a stupid game. They oughta just ban baseball. It's a waste of time. Da da da da da da da. There was nothing more said about that whole event. You know so. There was a classic example of of what the the nurses they were jealous. Or i don't know. I know now that he was resentful of all those achievements but By anybody else but this is the other poison that happens. You know family. It was a large large family. You then have siblings who then Go along to get along and become the flying monkeys and so even as you leave the home and you become an adult and you find this route your whole life where you go christmas that you know when families get the.
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"Clothing your child or not cleaning your child. These non grooves. This non. Bruce type of neglect often goes unnoticed. And this is a severe form because it's actually a hundred and eighty degrees opposite attachment theory attachment theory on referring to Dr john bobi. Who talks about the need for i contact and skin contact. And unconditional love and and a sense of engaging with your child playing with your child taking interest in your child in so these abuses neglects are what shadow over us and that should bring in. The narcissistic abuse is the abuse of apathy. So the abusive apathy is winning. Have that really lacks the ability to feel to care in this case what happens. Is the system really spins around. Excuse me one hundred eighty degrees and instead of the child being put number one the child is really a vote last on the a priority list and the parents come first and this is a horrendous message to send to children. This is colin. Show everyone and the tawfiq to be clear is healing. The inner critic and lack of self esteem. So what is this inner critic and how does it get in there. So let's go back to panel number one and let's take a look at all of these abuses neglects in see. The inner critic starts to form on a subconscious on a non verbal level because words at the early stage of development have not been formed yet. So there's no cognition here so what happens in this area of development is if there's not that mirroring going on if there's not that soothing going on if there's not that Healthy holding environment if the parents are arguing if there's substance abuse in the family if there's a lot of of physical black or emotional neglect than the trial is starting to get the message already. I do have a question. No yeah please Somebody wants to know. i know. This is probably jumping ahead a little bit but wants to know after panel nine. What is next what is there. It's a beautiful question and thank you. And it is. The next phase of development called Mind map squared and my maps squared is when we've gotten the shadows out of the way and we can shift into really moving forward into the light it so there's never case i'll say never because we're human is never a case where we're completely one hundred percent he'll than we don't trip up and we don't regress. I don't think that we've evolved that far as a human race however once all of the shadows are out of the way in people have a sense of being the cause after panel nine. We go into a phase called mind map. Squared entering the light and entering. The light is now taking forward everything that you've learned from the mind map and applying it to life and flowing into the next step whether it's your career your relationship your creative endeavors. And then just taking all that information and moving in manifesting so after panel nine is really a process of manifestation. Because it can't just be a process in your head if it's not manifesting in real time than you're just living the dream in your head but you're not really creating the dream so it's really a a flow of creation manifestation. Thank you so much for that question. I don't talk about it enough but you gave me an opportunity to do that. So thanks hope. I answer that question any other questions from the chat room and i do much prefer that you call in and that we talk one on one. It's just so much more interesting for me to to talk to you. And so i'm gonna flow through my mind maps so that you could see what locks us from manifestation. So how do these nasty core beliefs get into our head. So as you can see these nonverbal messages start to formulate and then the baby starts to react to these nonverbal messages in panel to you could see that a panel to is a visual of something cracked and broken and i call it the cracklins perception. So he can put up panel to so people can refer to this visual and estado call in now okay so people can refer to this visual and they can see that the lengths of perception cracks our way of seeing so instead of seeing straight instead of seeing clearly. We become distorted because we are not no longer Seeing the world through clear leads a clear unfiltered lens of lights now. These shadows are warning or growth or thwarting psychological development and In this area panel to the therapy becomes focused on trauma complex. Ptsd reactions of to the wound that include summit association in so on and so forth and so these types of of a laid down from a wound point of view. Then get into the body so the mind and the body are inter connected and these interconnections show up as a headaches. Backaches neck aches jaw. Ache stomach aches all kinds of aches and so the baby. Unable to express itself verbally will then resort to Manifesting their a childhood moves in the body in solbes messages of a abused neglected and so on show up in so so many ways. And now let's move to panel three because this is where all this garbage lands. This is where these negative corpses i like to refer to the get in coded so the dna is a metaphor for in coding. Okay you could see that Metaphorically the blue strand is a representation of the The father figure or the secondary caregiver and the pink strand is a metaphor for the mother or primary caregiver and these bonds or supposed to hold the family together. And if you look carefully at the bonds you could see all the little people on the The scale of life the step ladder of life and some of them are just sitting around lying around hanging around and so on it's a panel that represents an unsustainable system a system gone wrong with these bonds are not going to hold for long because they're not based on new nutrients psychological and physical nutrients of they won't sustain and they don't hold together for long because they're not meant to hold together for long because again they're not healthy in anything that is built on. Unsustainable foundation is a house of cards and the house of carson. Cedeno will collapse so this negative core beliefs department. If you will is where all of these in coatings happen. All of the negative core beliefs occur. Now what we're doing is we're translating these messages into the cognition.
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"If your parents are not. They're even if they're deceased these messages. Keep reverberating in the head and and now instead of the parents calling you stupid or ugly or not good enough for not lovable. What you have here is an inner voice generating these messages and this voice is is just as cruel if not cooler than a the voice of your parents and so here comes a partner that is engaged in porn and instead of making love to his wife instead of her making love to her husband. She's more interested in the magazine or more interested in the picture of the movie On on the screen. And so what happens here. Is that the reaction to the wound is instigated the reaction. Let's look at panel to the reaction to the wound which is the wounds of childhood get activated and the amid law goes into this kind of a fight flight mode and if there's been a lot of neglect in the child's life of the child doesn't feel mirrored important enough than this porn will represent at that they're not important enough and that they're not special and they're they're not worth it and you see how this goes down a very very dark rabbit hole and then it activates the core belief department which are all of those horrible core beliefs that we buy into a named a few but just to continue along the path of the including these core beliefs may be very very deep in very very A psychologically injurious to the person and they may include messages. Like you're ugly. You're not sexy. you're replaceable. You're just an object You're not worth it. You should never have even been born. And can you see that one partners acting out could be an entire activating system for the wounds of childhood kind of like ripping them open and then And then having these reactions in these in coatings of fire off in the person's mind at Lead to human disconnect which is by title of the book healing human disconnect be the cause. Healing human disconnect. Why disconnect because the partners are not no longer connected because they're not looking at each other they're not keeping the energy within the relationship. This energy is exiting. The relationship in the sexual energy is is being Awarded toward the this perfect sexual being that is probably computer. Generated made over in enhanced and so on and so forth and then it order for the person to banfield that they have to earn their love back and earned their attention back. What do they do somebody here from you. I wanna hear how you relate to this topic. I'm sure that there are many of you. Either know someone who who's had extensive plastic surgery is a result of not feeling pretty enough sexy nap. I'm sure that there are a lot of you out there who are imagine that your significant other. Be your your partner your spouse think that that you're not pretty enough for them because you're not there type. This is something that comes up a lot in the treatment room. A person might say to me. I don't think i'm my husband's type. What do you mean you're not your type. Well you know he's been staring at these blonde women are women with big grass or women with large Large dare years or could be vice versa. That we're the man doesn't think that he is his Significant others tight because she's already said. Wow my my ideal role model of a man. Is george clooney or whoever i. I don't watch a lot of tv. So i'm a little bit of a mt on on coming up with male role models but you can see the point here that The some rare in this conversation the energy is not connected in the relationship is a matter fact it is disconnected and i i very much encourage you to download a free copy of my pedia. Be the cost. Fuelling human disconnect. Because in the book. I talk about a case study. Where one of the partners feels like. She's a blow up doll and she doesn't even feel that she's a human. She feels more like an object. And that's the problem here is instead of a human connection what the poor and brings into the picture along with. These triggers is an objectification of a sex in when there's objectification of sex. There is no intimacy so all we can have here is panel four five six so four is the chaos and in the chaos includes the arguments and And the tears in the hurt feelings said the threat to the relationship and then people will defend against the chaos and so built defend onto levels defend against everyone's with childhood so things. They don't feel pretty enough in sexy up. They may resort to Losing weight or throwing up going believe mix so that they can manage their way or going to the plastic surgeons several times. I could call back in the day when a had a stop. Smoking clinic in a weight loss clinic says a long longtime ago. It was called hat. Breakers and I was not a psychologist at the time. And i was doing a lot of behavioral work and a had a young woman who was a beautiful beautiful woman she was a penthouse centerfold. She was beautiful and she was coming to me for stopping smoking. She wanted me to do other work with her. But i couldn't at the time. Because i was really qualified to do the deeper work but every time i saw her she was morphing and one we had the most gorgeous perfect knows in one week. She said you see my nose not a hundred percent straight so next week when i come back that will be straightened out. And i'm thinking. Gee what is going on here because this woman is the most beautiful house and then the few weeks later was for knees and she would show me hermes and then she would squeeze these together and say see. Look at all that cellulite. I'm gonna go get my niece up and this did not stop and of course. I didn't exactly know what to do for this poor woman but i sure remember the journey that she was on because in essence her childhood wounds..
"judy" Discussed on Death of a Film Star
"Reception the life afterwards. Judy and mickey or in the mews house in belgravia is not big and it's not flashy not film star a white front yellow front door. You walk in. The living room has white walls. Gray carpets a sofer in chaz in black and white. You go upstairs a shining rubber tree in apar- halfway up very late sixties. A small main bedroom to wardrobes too small chaz a bright blue bedspread another bedroom off to the side. Pink walls and pink carpets but so room across the london a bathroom tiled green six days. It's june now that the married. Three months judy nike. Johnny ray he comes round or there's not much else not much to do a saturday night. A program to what. John the bbc an early night. Judy saying she feels on well. Mckee feeling the same. It's the phone ringing. That wakes him up. Gone half ten in the morning and it won't stop is for judy so he calls the name. Nothing check said dressing. Room walks downstairs into the white and gray living room nothing. He tries the bathroom door locked. He climbs onto the flat roof inches round to the bathroom. Window looks inside. And that's when he sees a slumped on the toilet hands on her knees. Skin pale a trickle of dried blood from knows from my mouth. No movement now breath. They say afterwards she'd been dead for eight hours. They find a half finish bottle of second on her bedside table and no though with a hundred pills in it not yet opened. When the news breaks they show the old clips. The ten months and the scarecrow the wizard in the witch. They show her past a hit. They play the song everyone knows somewhere over the rainbow a song about longing about one into be somewhere else a place where dreams come true where trouble melts like lemon drops and judy. The woman running away from girl's passed the go lost a woman's world. There's something she says a few years from the end something that stays with you when you think of now. She says. I've heard how difficult it is to be with. Judy garland put you know how difficult it is to be. Judy garland and for me to live with me. She says i had to do it. What more unkind life can you think of the one i've lived this episode was written by tom. Ford ice and performed by me emma clark. It was edited by charlie frost research. We read me and my shadows a family. Memoir by judy's daughter lorna loft. We re watch the wizard of oz. A star is born and easter parade and use the archives of variety the observer the la times and flashback dot com. If you like this episode go back and listen to the one on marilyn monroe or sharon tate and if you want another podcast listen to search for death of a rockstar. And listen to the story of eva cassidy another star. We lost too soon. for listening.
"judy" Discussed on Death of a Film Star
"Walk shapes this woman all the stuff that happens to her as a kid the stuff she chooses the stuff she doesn't she's not judy garland at the star. She's frontiers gum singing with her sisters moving house. Every time a father gets caught doing something he's not meant to be doing the name changes when someone says she's prettier than a garland of flowers when she's in films they've got all the names for america's favorite kid sister little miss show business but it's what they call it to a face. That hurts the first film. She's in the producers us. She looks like a little pig with pigtails. And other time a studio exact told this you look like a hunchback. We love you but you so far. You look like a monster. So they control all what she eats what she looks like. They'll watcher in the contain and take food away from a when she's about to eat she's hungry. All the time fantasizes about chocolate sundaes goes to school with starlets like elizabeth taylor and lana. Turner feels paranoid about our own looks. The bosses don't care. He's made to wear caps on a teeth at night. It's rubberized desks on a nose to help reshape it. She's seventeen when she makes the wizard of us gets the pa. Ah dorothy and she's perfect in it. He can't imagine anyone else skipping down the yellow great road fighting the wicked witch of the west jumping from black and white too technical singing. That song they'll voted the greatest movie song of all time over the rainbow put. Nothing is normal for judy. And none of this feels like a dream. the munchkins the cute little things who live in munchkin land. One of the husbands number. Two if you need to know says some of the munchkins groper get away with it. Because they're small. Judy years later she'll say they will little drunks. They got smashed every night and the police used a scoop. The maupin butterfly nuts dark. Good not the darkest thing in the land of oz now the studios giving her amphetamines to keep her awake for the long filming days giving downers so she can sleep at night. Louis may is one of the ams in mgm. He's the biggest boss. He puts her on a diet coffee. Chicken soup eighty cigarettes a day. No one to protect her. No one to step in my life was a combination of absolute chaos. An absolute solitude bus. What judy remembers. So we've got to talk about the husband's when she's seventeen judi meets a musician composer and conductor when she's eighteen. He gives her an engagement ring trouble. Is he still married to another woman. She gets pregnant with his baby. The studio is horrified sews a mother they say to a. You've got to have an abortion. They do marry. Although it doesn't last it ends when he runs off with. Lana turner remember the starlit. She goes to school with the one who makes a paranoid about a looks. There's another abortion. When she has an affair. Two years on she marries the film director. Vincent minnelli that won't last either. They have a daughter. Liza yeah you know. But it's all falling apart the insults and the paranoia the chaos and the solitude. The first suicide attempt comes in nineteen forty when she's twenty six after a nervous breakdown before being sent to a psychiatric hospital. She tries to cut her wrists with broken glass. She's on sleeping pills. She's on other pills laced with morphine. She's drinking and she's got up salute. Kella migraines the studio suspense. She gets put through electroshock therapy for depression when she fails to show for another role. The give the part to someone else now comes second suicide attempt this time she slashes throat. I went to pieces. That's how she'll remember it years later. All i wanted to do was eat and hide. I lost all my self confidence for ten years. So she keeps taking the office and the downers and the drink when she hasn't got them. She demands them when she has. She demands more. The talent is still there. The singing voice the charm onscreen good. It comes with so much. There's an agent works with for four years. Here's how he describes her a demented demanding supremely talented drug addict. She marries again. This time a former test pilot. He becomes a manager. They have two kids and stay together for a while. It looks happy from the outside but when it ends like all marriages the truth comes out how he hits when he's drunk how he's tried to take the kids away from how. The divorce goes through on grounds of mental cruelty. Another quote from judy. Another line to break your heart. All could see ahead was more confusion. I wanted to black out the future as well as the past i wanted to hurt myself and everyone who had hurt me one more wedding before we get to london before we join our on stage. It's an actor. This time he's eighteen years younger. It's over in less than three years. Yes a hitter. He says afterwards but only in self-defense. We'll.
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"Canada which means sacred land. Okay so not only. Did a colonial people kick them off of their land pushed back and in in corral them into reservation said mistreat them convert them and demeaning devalued in destroyed them. They stole the name of k. A. nada short shortened to candidate. I don't know if it was columbus. Whoever had that exchange that's where the name originated lee us. What i've i'm told i'm gonna do some more research about it but i cannot believe that i spent twelve and a half years of my life in aachen. Nada never knew about the history of the word. Canada not won honorable mention in a textbook not one. So there's just so much that we don't know there's so many lies in misperceptions speaking of crack Perception in why culturally native americans have a huge hole in the soul and and why they're feeling it with alcohol and why there's such a high rate of alcohol is them and suicidality at why people walk around with this this this lack of sense of peace and lack of sense of of identification with culture and a strong family unit is many many generations of history behind it and so when i do the line map in this round of healing A hole in the soul of the indigenous people were going to bring in culture in the human disconnect is not just monitor infant disconnect. Father infant discount act before forcing sing of the mother. Infant disconnect a pay. Speaking of shame shifting. Jesus you know this this is a massive projection onto an entire race of people. That were still. Were still feeling. You're still feeling the reverberations of so we're gonna pretty heavy on this. We're going to tell some pretty heavy true saw miss and i'm going to be learning so much and mainly implying the mind map so that the shame that is buried in in in the heart of the native american because they had nothing positive. They'd have no positive mirroring from the world. None you still there. Even if you're not there. I hope you heard me okay in. Please do call me to that. Drop to you. Know she should still be in here. I'm back did you hear what. I said i didn't. I'm sorry a dropped. A few times case so i want you to hear the show again but the essence of it is this is so thick and heavy indeed and this is an example of cultural genocide. Okay call it decoding of your people and we're gonna get very very into it in the seminar lee please the touch with me about it and then start putting word out to the people who have the in at the actor. This hear me she. She's not here anymore. But the collins studio is still working so anyone else wants to call in case i think audience. I hope you've heard me. Then be in touch with me lease okay and anyone who is suffering from the effects of this Cultural horror story Trauma upon the people in. That's what happens is when a win win win on a grand scale we start becoming massive 'isms cases on a mini scale we've got projection onto our spouses our children. Our co workers also armed so forth that on a grand scale. This is how it looks. Is how massively destructive it is. This is how you take down a people and leave them shattered akeso. That's what i'm going to be up to next week. If anybody wants more information please contact me. And the name of that website which is still very new is be the cause indigenous healing dot com. I'm really really sorry. This call center. Hopefully we'll be able to resolve their world have to be with with With type in questions which. I'm on fine with two okay so off again. I wanna thank you all for joining me in. You can see the micro version of talks city in shame shifting destroying other people and the the macro version where you can destroy the spirit the culture the language the rituals the heart of an entire nation of people at this seems to be happening over and over in various forums for for many many generations on the planet really feeling honored to off to have the privilege to use the mind map to to start in. And he'll this on on with this particular. The native american People so thank you so much for calling in. I'm sorry about the collins center hopefully My audience heard me and can relate to talk. Shame and a shame shifting macro scale and in. Don't please join me. Colin and take advantage of the free consultation. And thank you again for tuning in tonight everybody..
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"Roken record against ride. I must be a loser. Her he's grade Makes a lot of money lucidity cows or whatever whatever whatever won all these awards in what's wrong with me. He's right something wrong with be in so really it's that parent that's a shame at the core and hasn't confronted his or her childhood wounds in his hiding behind the mask of money success awards and so on and his erected a really really bad gain a projecting the shame on to their children or their lovers our spouses or coworkers and so on several episodes while talk about control versus vulnerability and what happens to people who have been so injured that they basically cut their heart out. They basically numbed out. And they don't want to face up to their pain so they do instead of vulnerability. They've lost trust in the world. They can't be vulnerable to the world so they just shut down or project and an hide behind the mask of of this false soften whatever. The false was presenting to the world. And that's another thing that brings shame to children. Is that when they say to somebody. You know my god is so mean to me and then publicly. That doubt or that mom is so nice and generous than the team. Spirit or the You know the the the school will school volunteer non. There's so much cognitive dissonance because it doesn't line up. Hey dr judy. We do. Have somebody on the line okay. Name is her name is more. I'm gonna let her through right now andrea andrea alot. Hello bernie.
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"Lets you go through. And unless you have the opportunity to really be processed the the pain and the chaos and the defense mechanisms that you built around These news negative corp beliefs so so pleased to grab copy of buick. 'cause healing human disconnect. So another point that she maze makes article is when you're feeling insecure in the relationship. Now come propsal lot in my practice. I have a calling talking about. How their their partner is offering another person across the room. War locking their on face. War talking about Lucky people with a different on tie or our hair colour or whatever with your partners who sisterly destabilizing you stop. Consider that consider why this person is doing that. Chances are concerned not too healthy. And that they have some hole in their soul so that they have to demean devalue and put into a situation where they triggering your negative core beliefs which hopefully worked through won't be triggered in the same way in the articles. She says he may seek assurances from your partner but somehow these are only momentary and fleeting at service may be working double duty to keep their relationship on track while your partner should his little so the example using your partner to threes emu to fill their whole fan salt news another red flag. They have a dark was secretive past. And you may not know 'cause secret so it may emerge over time so that's why you want to see how the person is over span of time non-resolution past relationships so you might be dating. Somebody's so pining over a certain somebody in so you make sure that For you and that person can open up their heart to you because in dating somebody went all they could see is the percent from their past and so that's her thing that you are watch out from his baggage from purses previous relationships in how that weighs in our shadowy over the potential that the two of you have with each other. The next one is the Alicia is built on the need to feel needed. So this is where we are looking at codependent. Relationships were people lean on each other easy to during. You know we already have the other person there. You don't have a lot of choices so coded pendency leaning on each other. That's why momentarily but not when it's such a constant in the life of the people that they eventually lead on each other to the point where they great and the last point is abusive behavior. If you're an interview circle relationship please get out. Don't try to change. The per cent interest wants to work to on their own but not with you. Jeopardizing your wellbeing. Of course now we have to consider thirty kids involved and so on and so or in so you don't wanna be back parent that puts your own feelings before the needs of the children's so consider safety the needs of the children number one self here in verbally Emotionally psychologically physically abusive relationship. Please get out and if you come from a relation a background of abuse physical abuse than remember that you might think that this is the norm. But just because it's your family's bar a low bar it doesn't mean that it's it's healthy in normal. It's time to pick up. That are in it. It breaks out of the cycle of multi generational abusive violence that new navy involved. And so. unless there's another call on on that remind everybody that you can avail yourself of a free consultation share of where valuable to talk to a have a beautiful to people. If you'd like to purchase that mind map video series you can do so is very cycle educational It's affordable in you compare with psychotherapy and we'll be blacked. Take you through the journey of really delving into childhood wounds. Even clean up the pass and copy. Enrico do self into into Can have a better part shoe of of the rest of your life and not take the baggage of the multi generational wounds in patterns and so forth into the next generation. Some just so we'll have to to know that we could read again walker. He and good luck everybody in your dating process and a hope that we find to look up her knocks on people with a false sakaba with a repeat true a deep in half the cart in so get out there and take your time to know yourself do your on. He'll then pair up with people that are i. he'll journey and are interested in a synergistic growth partner. Thank you for tuning in good night. Everybody took..
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"Say that sexual chemistry is not that important in. It'll evolve over time. And sometimes i guess that's true some people s there's a sexual chemical is very very har to make that relationship work very very far to To to generate enough motivation of for in person that you're not sexually attracted to now the other aspect practical aspect as you don't have values or values philosophical of sometimes originals values that a line. You have cultural differences that are very very are are for example. In one culture you have to Was set the mother-in-law actually move the mirror law in another culture. That's not gonna be a comfortable family arrangement. This might not work out so before you get into a relationship one align yourself with the person asked lots of questions in take the time to understand. A person's values interests at the office. Culture in a big one is expectations. You wouldn't believe how many people enter into relationships and they don't really share their expectations of each other even worse. Sometimes they don't even share their.
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"That back goes without. Say it's just that kind of crosses the line when you'll hear something like Sitting in that chair we switched cheers. Could decide is in my eyes and then you stop and think for second. Wait a minute here. If the sun is in your eyes if i sit in that chair son is gonna be in. Mile is so. Do you see the disconnect you see the lack of ability for that person to put themselves in your shoes in make it only about their comfort. So what can we know about people who do these kinds of things. Put you down and incessantly complain than in always take take in are jealous of your friends soon. Recopying your close your haircut or your whatever it is. What do we know about them. We now the fair injured. Also were who isn't who comes out of childhood uninjured so we can know what kind of injury took place with that person because we can dial it back the other mind map back to the cost. So let's just say that a person is unable to be in their own skin. There always hot too hot too cold. The food is not quite right. Sunlight is not quite right. So this is a person who i would think is. White dysregulation related. Meaning that they didn't have the marrying. They didn't have the two men they didn't have. What winna caught a psychologist calls. Good enough mothering. If they didn't have good enough mothering than what are they gonna do. They're gonna project these feelings into other relationships. And if you ted you tend to be a people pleaser. It'll be very easy for them to enroll you in being helpful compliant and feel sorry for them and accommodate for them and make excuses for them in so this is where it gets kind of catchy because we all have a little bit of that in us where we get jealous of people or we feel that we want copy. Somebody's hair style or we we feel a little bit Like like like stinks to to know that They they got an a. When you only got a c. Minus okay so these are very very human feelings but again it crosses that line when you're always left feeling less than and you're always out of the loop and there's no sense of acknowledging you because go caller okay just wanted to say friendship should be synergistic so Hi what's your name please. Hi dr judy. This was not tasha how you doing. I'm doing very well as such an honor to be speaking to all that. That is really sweet of you to say very much. Where whereabouts are you in the world. You don't have to stay up. I always like to know i am. I'm calling from san francisco california. Okay okay how are you relating to this particular topic. Well i First of all. I wanna say thank you so much for all of the work that you've done and the courage that you've had to do it. It's I know i can speak for myself. And the fact that it's been life changing for me. But i know it has for people around the world to so thank you very much I i found it really really interesting. The topic that you're talking about tonight. i won't go into detail because i know that in terms of i've just from some things from my. I know that i have been I think i have been modeled. Some sort of ways of you know attracting certain people into my life. And i've seen that with some of my friendships all them. I mean i've had some. I've had a lot of luck tab. Some really really really great friendships in my life too. But i thought it was really interesting when you When you said i that's my called in when you said that french friendships like toxic. Friendships can be demanding and Because i know that. That's what i've struggled with a little bit of my life white kind of saying no to certain people and kind of that feeling of a little bit of that guilt And so yeah you hit the nail on the head with that but kind of one of my actually and i thought that this would be kind of a good Also another good point and more so a question for you to that. I would love your advice on his. I've noticed this what's certain people but especially with with certain friendships. That are tend to be a little bit more on the toxic side. How come how come those people can create so much self doubt in me like all i can be having like a really good day and everything can be fine and then they'll someone a certain person will say something and it's not just anyone but it tends to be that type of person that we're discussing but they'll say some thing and it has never even come into my mind before but then all of a sudden they say that and i mean i i all of a sudden i'm like okay. Well what if they're right or it's it's it's a i feel like it's almost like a brain control. I don't have control over my own. Mind it it really does bring up so much doubt. I'm like okay. What if they're right and all this. And then i'm left thinking about for a long time but i'm i'm really curious as cheer your input on that and all kind of wyatt happened in. I'm totally going to break this down for you. It'll be very understandable on. Have you read my book. Be the cause. Healing human disconnect. Oh yeah yeah yeah fabulous on any of the mind..