38 Burst results for "Judy"
Fresh update on "judy" discussed on Monocle 24: The Globalist
"You're listening to the globalists first broadcast on the 22nd of October 2021 on monocle 24. The globalist. In association with UPS. Hello, this is the globalist coming to you live from Midori house in London. I'm Judy Nico Godwin. On the show ahead, the role of flaw is the glue that binds our union together. It is the foundation of our unity. It.
Fresh update on "judy" discussed on The Horse Racing Radio Network Podcast
"Day. Bold and raised on trainer buff Bradley and his father Fred's Indian rich farm in Frankfurt Kentucky, groupie doll was the defending champion in the 2013 breeders cup Philly and mayor sprint at Santa Anita. She made just three starts before her title defense, winning only one, but the chestnut daughter of Bowman's band had her game face on, facing 11 rivals as the three to one favorite. And then into the stretch and its Group B doll and she's made the lead as they come to the 8 pole. Competition coming from Judy the beauty and on the outside dance card. Rupee knows in front down to the 16 four Judy the beauty dance card on the outside running after grouping those things in for all she has and she and the national dead and again. Four days after her historic victory, groupie doll was sold at the keenland November sale for $3.1 million, and at the end of the year, she was voted champion female sprinter of 2013..
Fresh update on "judy" discussed on Desi Books
"Views about they see literature from the world over. I'm your host jenny. Bud thank you for tuning in today in the five they see faves segment. We have been through while who has hybrid poetry collection out titled daughter isotope. She's sharing her five favourite works. they see punk. They fear tourism and they see fantastic. Works that engage in speculative poetics and alternative fantasy spaces. The transcript of this segment is also up on the website be the worker walls. Poetry and multimedia practices engage with we'll building video and graphic media drawing mythic schemers from popular culture science and ancient texts. Poetry book the trouble. With humping dory imagines a cosmic mythological space for marginalized transnational subjects avatar. A chap book is situated in a post apocalyptic gaming world where. Ai is play. at being. god's she's had works published in the boston review. Black warrior review asterix general paul mellon leonardo among other generals she is currently engaging in a cloud poetics as a way of thinking about personal collective and digital archives as a collaborative process with comic artists dances and video artists. Latest book of poetry daughter. Isotope is out now. Geraci resident and couldn't demand fellow. She teaches at rollins. College in florida. Daughter isotope is a book of hybrid. Palms that speak to multiple iterations of daughter troops across generations. National borders and timescales. A central question of the book is what is a collective archive within a global disparate migrant. Cultural space daughter isotope is organized. In a series of four clouds cooling up the vague penetrable voters of our digital lives both searching and searchable throughout the manuscript. The poems operate as types of search engines the test the boundaries of often-overlapping archives clouds. That make up does fork experience starting with a series of poems based on the maha. Power up an encyclopedic sanskrit. Epic cloud about an apocalyptic war composed over centuries. The organization of the manuscript is based off of south asian police vocal storytelling. Traditions like donna harrowing. Cyborg daughter gender could be seen as any child. Subject under rigid paternal order whether hindu nationalism or us exceptionalism who's affiliate is in question dispersed throughout the manuscript are multiple versions clouds of drop eighty. Emily dickenson judy garland krishna.
Broncos' Jerry Jeudy Expected to Miss 4-6 Weeks With High Ankle Sprain
"Have to like with teddy bridgewater brought to that game. I mean it's all about getting the ball out on time lang within the offense and getting the ball accurately to his receivers and and that's what he didn't. Fourteen percent above expectation is completion percent and the one thing that was great to see was not a ton of dink dunking eight point. Four intended air yards per pass so he was efficient sad though to see one of his weapons. Jerry judy go down. Although i think when we saw it live unfold as he's out for the season they're saying the mic came back. It's just a high ankle sprain now. Those can take multiple weeks right. Probably even maybe a month but it was better than alternative of missing the
We Need To Honor America’s First Responders
"Can you also talk about just first responders in general on nine eleven as this episode airs this day where remembering people that went into the conflict and went into the fire and went into try and sacrifice themselves for a broader purpose. That kind of commitment to duty which i feel. We're losing in our country right now. Can you talk about that in your own personal life and how that's a value you and your at your company really tried to embody Nine eleven in the actual day has burned into my mental psyche as it has with millions of other people as a medic and the training that we've gone through and i correlate it back with judy of august october. Twenty seventeen in las vegas. Your training kicks in and the firefighters. That i know that i that i revere and and it's not just firefighters. It's all of our law enforcement my my belief on this and the little things that drives minute in coffee is these are the true minute. These are the true american heroes that have sacrificed so much per. so many. How many other professions besides our military and our first responders actively put that uniform on and go out and put themselves into harm way arms. They and sacrifice what what other people can't even fathom in me. That is what the enemy of a minute then. It's whether we're standing up and fighting the tyrants seventy three seventy four seventy five seventeen seventy sex or modern day blazing into that fire and rescue those children or or just coming up and within the law enforcement end the medic community and i think the first responded community is getting a bad rap. Now with this cancel cauldron law enforcement and you know the. The big shots are medics paramedics are. Emt's no they're sung heroes in para medicine and we need to honor them. We need to honor this entire
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"Thank you so much for joining you in dr judy. Wto what the freud here and tonight's episode is going to be about sibling rivalry and narcissistic parents. And why am i talking about this because usually attend to talk about things that are walking into my treatment room or my treatment. Zoom as i should say nowadays and What what's going on is the me. Is that when. I listened to people and i listened to the pain of their life Particular topic arises and for some reason. The theme of the last few weeks happens to be sibling rivalry and narcissistic parents in the huge impact. This has on the family on the person who's walking in here with pain and it's another example of a system gone wrong so everybody. This is a call in. Show a hope that i'm on air. I know we've been getting so having some technical support so just kind of give me a knob that it's loading up and everybody could hear me. Yes is not correct. We're live all right. Thank you so much and again. I really appreciate my audience. And everybody that has sent me letters and people who've been in treatment with the people on staff and the mind map patients that i've been seeing personally and as those of you who've taken in this particular process you all know that is is a journey from the darkness of the pass through deconstructing all the pain. Chaos and defenses of the here now and breaking through into a better part two of your life in so the way i view narcissism again i know it is a chair of that has been used quite a bit. I think if you google the word narcissism online. You're going to have quite an upload of information from a mind map. Prospective narcissism is a system.
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"Parents and both my parents are both deceased. I awaken to this After my mother's done and think my subconscious allow me to look at what i had been living with my whole life. And actually you know dr. Judy had a boyfriend. I hadn't had a relationship and ten years prior. And i met this guy. It's totally engaging to me. And he went to the whole narcissistic. But i didn't really have to pull appreciation for what that meant. Yes until he told me with the hammer and that was an awakening. If any could so when you said you couldn't hear the word before but something about a hammer. What did he do attack me with him. He literally attacked you. So it wasn't just a verbal attack. It was physical attack. Yes ma'am lifestyles for my eyes. Wow well my. I lived at to awaken to a much bigger three and that was the story took me back to my parents and something that i could never really totally see but totally did see and it was your show one of the first really sort of help. Enlighten me to this. You know phenomenon and you know it's just like a little over and as you keep on covering and uncovering before you know it you've got a dinosaur mastodon and the whole life. It's just it's like taking your house throwing everything onto the floor and having to just reorganized it all exactly. And that's why you see you bring up a point. One elaborate a little bit on the aspect of proactive versus reactive. Chaos cause chaos is just that it takes you down. Okay you see those bombs broken all over the place and so that's what i call the the effect of childhood wounds and of course your Ex-boyfriend friend also had his share of childhood wounds. For sure i know this for sure. You know this for sure. The listeners know this you don't have to have to know this because he had such a whole missile that his way was to project on his pain onto you and what did you deserve That you did to get a hammer Attack on you okay. So you could see. The crack lends a perception right short of you trying to attack him and his and his defending himself. That's pretty distorted. Isn't that the kind of response to you. Well you know it took me by surprise. But one thing i understood that i had been surrounded by this kind of behavior my whole life and it was normalized to me and i was feeling like didn't bother me that much and i think that was the key. The fact that his behavior and his manipulation didn't bother me and the evening that he took a hammer me was one when he was humidity. Humiliated himself passed out trying to do something that he couldn't do and i didn't ridicule him but he woke up feeling very ashamed. Next thing i know he was throwing tools in the house that he had a hammer my hair and then he helped me captive in the house hostage on my own home for like four hours until they finally got him out and that was really pathetic. It's very scary but it was. Let's see there's no kidding right and this is how sneaks up on you is because it's normalized and at the way i put it in my book and also in the treatment is that parents set the bar so if you grew up in an alcoholic family for example it may be normal to be drinking A lot of alcohol every night and getting junk may be normal in hangover. Certain normal and the you is our normal and driving drunk as lola until somebody gets killed for me a pay And so whatever we're doing within our families as parents are setting the bar for our children and so when you meet somebody that's familiar and familial mu now feel with that's your norm and so Y y y is that bad. Why is it so bad. You know doesn't feel good but that's not. That bad happened in my own family. And that's where it's so subtle but that's where you have to wake up. It's like the way. I my favorite metaphor is it. A fish doesn't know that it's swimming in dirty water until they get into cleaner water and then they feel differently and they see clearly and they they get a kind of like their own. A ha you know. Of course bearish whatever they could get but you understand. What i'm getting at here is that you don't see it until you see something new. A glimpse of the light. A glimpse of clarity glimpse of the truth. And that's what the mind. Map system is geared to do is to pull you out of the old system and rather than habit taking you down. We need the therapist and the patient. Take it down to gather because it's only when the system is taken down that we can rebuild from scratch and recode into health. So that's what we're doing. They're politically is were ripping it down so that you cannot any longer Build on it and you cannot any longer use it as your blueprint for life. I've got a positive Twist on this as well. I mean at least for myself okay. Now growing up. My parents weren't alcoholics. But my mother was very invalidating very sadistic. She was a raider. My father just comparing enabling he was also had very little empathy. He beat me as well. You know there was physical abuse. They abuse. When i was eight with my mother i felt the predatory nature with her. And i probably bury the rest of that So much going on. I was on my own living. I was sleeping in my car at age. Sixteen i heard you know i had to go out and i knew it at that point that i only had myself which is good but it's also bad not to ask for help but i finished high school. I went off to college. I got a career. I got three. Master's degrees had a wonderful career in..
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"Here and on the founder of the mind map system for healing human disconnect the be the cause mind map system just by way of took introduction and i am the Also the head of the psychological healing center and I know we have a caller some kind of rushing the introduction and thank you so much for berry with all the technical issues. I'm hoping that everyone is now Able to hear me properly the volume. Good the lighting good and the technical good so tonight show is about adult children loop rented to turn against the parent by the narcissistic parent very very painful. I've been seeing case after case of situations like this. I'm working with people where this is a real issue for them. And there's nothing like divorcee your narcissist and then having your own child be the carbon copy of that x. and then turning against you so let's start by taking the call. Hi you are on the air. Accu doctor judy they hang up. They hung up so keep going callback. Call back okay. So then i have a little more time to dissect the topic and as most of you know. We're gonna be doing lots. And lots of mind mapping and looking at blueprints because i'm a systems thinker. That's my goal with. You is to help you cheat. Think like a shrink meaning to knock depend on therapy for months and years but actually the have the analytic ability to play psychological detective with yourself and the world around you and see things clearly because what are lengths of perception is cracked. We don't see ourselves clearly. We don't see the world around us clearly that of course we than multi generational blueprint our very own children to copycat are psycho. The thala g with the emphasis on psycho. So my doing this topic because there's a lot of paint around it and i'll just Bring up case study number nine thousand nine hundred ninety nine bulges. Call it back. Because i like the number nine and the and the nine and the threes or my special numbers because you could see the mind. Map is divided to nine panels the first to be being the wounds of childhood the reactions. We have to these wounds. In how we blueprint or encode the pass and this section is called the past and coding. Now the middle is the chaos and the defense the breakdown of today with the opportunity of course to break through and then we've got shifting out of all this mass and once we could see straight once we could take down destructive blueprints that no longer service in our no longer Shadowing over us and distorting our psycho perception we can paradigm shift and create synergy within ourselves at within relationships and recode ourselves at either. 'cause of a better outcome for our life so let's see what the royd is going on with. Children adult children who now attack the parent. It's almost like you read. A child is supposed to read a child with all the right ingredients. And of course we don't. We don't give our children the right ingredients. We can't be too surprised that they're going to turn against us. However this is a special case where the child adult child i'll say identifies with the narcissistic parent and then becomes like the narcissistic parent against the other parent. So in a general sense. How does miss began. I'm going to start by describing An article on the dynamics of parent alienating by sharee stein's article in june. Two thousand seventeen so alien nation syndrome is a term coined by richard gardner in the eighties and describes a condition generated in the context of divorce child custody disputes which parents created an alliance with their child against the other parent. The child influenced in part by the alienating parent contributes to divide dynamic but the dynamic by denigrating the targeted parents so the child adult child begins to demean and the value and destroy that other parent So in essence that don't cha now takes on these narcissistic traits. And why does that happen. Well i'll give you some examples of what i see in the treatment room. Sometimes this happens because A child of their own childhood wounds with the parents bring to the psychological table To their own children and how is narcissism formed narcissism is a lack of empathy and assistant gone wrong where the parent one or both put. Their children could their own and needs before the needs of the child another way narcissism is formed is when parents Spoil rotten their child. Control their child and turn them into a mini. Me's of their own agenda for example if daddy wanted to be a football player but didn't quite make it. He may want to encourage his son to play out the role that he could never fulfil so no longer. Is the child free to do what he or she wants. He is now a being coerced rewarded at a demeaned. If he doesn't comply with a parrot now this could take shape informed By by the mother to the daughter for example. Let's say the mother wants to have a daughter take care of her. She might room that daughter to be her little servant and comply with all her snap Demands and reward her for compliance and make her the golden child for this compliance and then kicked to the curb the other children's since they're just not really on her team and so he could see that this is a system gone terribly wrong and when one parent and another parents get divorced or separated. What happens is that the child usually takes their anger and resentment out on the parents that is probably the healthier and more empathic appearance because the love there is not a conditional the parents who is more narcissistic as more the conditional lee a loving. I'll put that in quotes because it's not love the apathetic parents who uses the child to fill on their own agenda and so the child needs to keep that vaughan with the other parent..
"judy" Discussed on Inside the Studio
"The last eighteen months have definitely been a challenging time for what's been keeping you grounded and i'm feeling good. Oh lots of things We have had a very privileged locked down in the sense that i had never. I had not had a vacation. I had not had time off in so many years. And quite frankly i needed it. I needed a break. And i was always told for years. Why don't you get you know you've got to be able to take a few months off in the summer. I was never able to because you wanna make a living. You have to show up the dates coming in so there was no way to really do that for any length of time. I mean maybe you'd get. I don't know just was not and so when it happened for me. It was an advantage. Because i got the time off and you know. I took a nap every day every day. I mean i did anyway because i'm in my eighties. Now people do that in their eighties. They take naps. And i've taken full advantage of that privilege. But i also continued working and the working and the being able to sit down every day and work at the piano and work on writing and trying to write to poetry and songs and so. It's it's a wonderful thing to be able to do to have to have some Enlightening moments and then of course to be able to unfortunately watch what is going in the world and be devastated by the death. I mean i've lost. I lost a couple of friends that were very close to me and You know that's that's horrible and of course. The devastation of the discount is something that takes your breath away really. And i'll have to say a word for wearing masks and forgetting vaccinated. It's essential not just it's not about you. It's about everybody in your family. It's about the people you interact with. It's about your neighbors and to think to think it's just about yourself is extremely short-sighted. I'm glad you were able to get some time for yourself. I know you're doing one hundred fifty shows a year or something like that. I think i read. It's hundred twenty but almost incredible when you write every day almost like people. some people do yoga everyday. Some people draw. It's a daily practice for you to Oh yeah and i jog. I work on the treadmill take walks. They work on the bicycle friday. Do my stretches. yeah i have to. I mean there's no way to keep up with what's going on physically unless you're exercising and eating right. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't scream. You know you have to give up a lot to say on the plan. An interview gave recently. I'm trying to remember who it was with a a read. it might have been with. Aarp and you said something that i will never forget. Somebody was asking you about about retirement. You gave an amazing response. I swear member for the rest of my life you saying that retirement was created in the industrial revolution. I wanted to ask you more about that. That's so fascinating created by management. It was created by by the one percent to keep the rest of us for making money as we grow older you fire per people at a certain level because if they stay longer they're gonna cost you more money. It's we throw people out of anyway. I think retirement was invented. You know if you're a rancher. You never retire. I suppose. That's in my dna in my in my history my farming and some degree ranching farming at but being an artist. You never tire. I mean there's no you wouldn't why would you. How could you retire from doing something that had kept you alive and probably kept you from jumping off a roof being creative and having being poet or writer painter an artist of any kind of communicator. You know you have to keep going because it's part of your dna part of who you are. it's not just. The product is the essential discipline of doing those things on a daily basis. Which makes you capable of not only staying on the planet but also contributing. I feel like that's something that a lot of people forget. These days becomes about the product. Yeah true now thank goodness we have wonderful. People like you judy collins. It has been a true pleasure and an honor. Thank you so much for your time today and.
TEST 0445 20210817
"He'll always regret his failure to include players from the negro leagues among the ghost players. Which you know looking back now makes me feel like that's enough to relegate this film to the aspen of history and it's not something that we should continue to celebrate say remake field of dreams. Call it feel fuck. Y'all and have cool papa. Bell and josh gibson oscar charleston and judy
Call of Duty: Vanguard to Be Revealed Thursday in Warzone
"Call. Judy vanguard reveal has been confirmed for for warzone on august. Nineteenth this is amy robinson. Add video games. Chronicle college vanguard will be officially revealed this thursday august nineteenth. That's according to an advert published on the playstation store. Today which confirms that the game was shown for the first time via warzone at ten thirty. Am pacific time. Sledgehammer games started officially teasing call of duty vanguard last week when multiple content creators received and shared video from the games publisher ahead of expected revealed this month teasers also began appearing in game via warzone with winning players being killed off by a mysterious character at the end of matches colony vanguard promotional material leaked earlier this week with artwork revealing several editions plan for an open beta and more
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"You are perfect being until those people came in and messed you up so blaming yourself and go back to the idea that gee if i take all that crap and the put into me and throw it away because it's real anyway what they wanted to control me. And that's all they did. They they want to control you and they went and they they are weeks insecure individuals and the only way they can make themselves feel good is to make someone else feel bad and that's the all right there just what you said. What's in it for them. A worse you feel they get brownie points every time you feel bad and and your father diverse from your home run or your eight-plus or whatever it's almost like It's like when you are narcissistic Wounded in you have that hole in the soul and someone comes off as better than you more successful than you. The nazis direct threat. So what do you do. You want to chop it down at what you want it. Here's a classic example of him in our family. We would want to get involved in something. There might be an event at school or church or or something in the neighborhood and you would do everything in this power to make sure that our family. We did not participate or that. We did something else that day. Or he would isolate us so that we were always under his control and not influenced by outside parties if he had anything to say about it and if we were influenced by outside parties and we came home and said. Oh gee i just listened to the greatest Speaker down in school today. And i was impressed with what he said he would instantly terror that guy down and say how stupid it was and don't listen to that and data that wears heels control. He wanted to make sure that we always stayed in his control. But that's the fallacy of the whole thing. And i just i i wanna thank you again for For all that you're doing you're so welcome in and i you know i always say this. It's so true. I love what i'm doing because it's always the challenge in always gotta figure out of got. It's almost like Like it so much because it's like psychological detective work for me in. Let's let's figure out who done it. What happened how it all got in there. At the computer bought warped out those virus got in there had have process them through and then how to really more out of the whole mess so on. That's what happens. Get him get him to revert back to the clean slate. That is the paradigm shift. So you look at panel number seven. You will see that a panel set. Evan comes together and there's light in the center center so were restored to the clean slate state through integrating ourselves were restored in that light in. The center is a metaphor for the clear perception. So now we're seeing in being differently. Where new being we're seeing clearly. It's the clear i of perception. So thank you so much over sharing what what you experienced in your childhood and then what you discovered for yourself in i just want to reiterate that most people don't don't wake up they just do not you said. Oh my god. I was sixty and just started waking up this while some people. Most people don't wake up and that's the sad story of humanity. Is they keep going through for five. Six chaos defenses breakdown. So that's where most of us live so. I think we can do better than that. And i really really appreciate your insights and tracking your your entire life and sharing with everybody on on the show tonight. So and i know i want again. I want to encourage it all the other listeners. To don't give up because the end result of pun getting this clean slate back and getting your freedom back. It is such a lifestyle. It's it's overwhelmingly beautiful. It's a great experience and it's not impossible and and I thought it was. But i once i realized that it wasn't me and that it was always in my control to to take my life back in and maintain my boundaries and to protect my self from outside people who are trying to interfere with it Jesus the the power and the freedom is so feel so good. And i just wanna encourage people. Don't give up. thank you down okay. I know we'll speak again appreciate it. Okay that's fly. Call the book. Be the cause because dale was the cause of the outcome of his life and he's an example of how we can all the costs because part one sonar fall to some all. Our fault who are parents are were. It's not our fault with they've programmed into us. It's not our fault that they got programmed with their psycho virus. And so you can see. This is a multi generational trickle down thing in. If you bust. The system gone wrong. Guess what happens you now. Lay down a healthy blueprint for the next generation in that story stops. So that's how powerful this thing is if there are no other callers. Aw i'll go on a little bit more. Are there any other call. Oh awesome okay. Hi nine three seven. You're on with dr judy. Thank you what is your name please. Hi i'm sorry. it's nice nice to hear a voice. thanks for calling in. yeah I i figured things out thirty nine. Also okay and that my mother was the nursing and he's kinda paver well. My sister sent me something. And i'm like wow that all quits. And i started doing research and i started And kind of got independence from kind. Kinda yeah so recently she. I know she okay. I have lost two hundred pounds but is a domestic. I regained it. All kind of. I don't know because it the protection thing She asked me to be a caretaker because She's position i know she's in a nursing home and see and yeah and there's like the leader so my condo in new then they would be a body in the this alone. Let me just comment on that for. So i'm so sorry that you're in that position and the pandemic has really done on us and you know. We resorted defense mechanisms. Some people use food. Some people use alcohol. Some people use gambling in on whatever it is and now we're back man in isolation ward more or less somewhat sort of a. I don't know where we're at. actually. I guess we're receiving news all the time but you know what you're talking about is parents that steal their children's lives and then they become they they put you at their service so you become their here taper. Become their made you become their little best friend you. There confidante their author cook there. Whatever and this is so sad. This is in line with Abuse because what are parents supposed to do for their children. They're supposed to help them grow stronger supposed to help them become hopefully deep pendant so that they can Hatch out of the nest so to speak and fly in separate individually the narcissist Parent is going to do the opposite. It's going to drag you back down into the system and make sure that you don't fly. Okay you're thought you've got a scary okay. While i still all right. Maybe you did escape. You have to be very careful that you're living life for yourself and i'm not saying don't be compassionate with your parents and don't help them in time of need in the.
eComm's False Equivalency For CCPA & GDPR With GetEmails Founder/CEO Adam Robinson
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"If your parents are not. They're even if they're deceased these messages. Keep reverberating in the head and and now instead of the parents calling you stupid or ugly or not good enough for not lovable. What you have here is an inner voice generating these messages and this voice is is just as cruel if not cooler than a the voice of your parents and so here comes a partner that is engaged in porn and instead of making love to his wife instead of her making love to her husband. She's more interested in the magazine or more interested in the picture of the movie On on the screen. And so what happens here. Is that the reaction to the wound is instigated the reaction. Let's look at panel to the reaction to the wound which is the wounds of childhood get activated and the amid law goes into this kind of a fight flight mode and if there's been a lot of neglect in the child's life of the child doesn't feel mirrored important enough than this porn will represent at that they're not important enough and that they're not special and they're they're not worth it and you see how this goes down a very very dark rabbit hole and then it activates the core belief department which are all of those horrible core beliefs that we buy into a named a few but just to continue along the path of the including these core beliefs may be very very deep in very very A psychologically injurious to the person and they may include messages. Like you're ugly. You're not sexy. you're replaceable. You're just an object You're not worth it. You should never have even been born. And can you see that one partners acting out could be an entire activating system for the wounds of childhood kind of like ripping them open and then And then having these reactions in these in coatings of fire off in the person's mind at Lead to human disconnect which is by title of the book healing human disconnect be the cause. Healing human disconnect. Why disconnect because the partners are not no longer connected because they're not looking at each other they're not keeping the energy within the relationship. This energy is exiting. The relationship in the sexual energy is is being Awarded toward the this perfect sexual being that is probably computer. Generated made over in enhanced and so on and so forth and then it order for the person to banfield that they have to earn their love back and earned their attention back. What do they do somebody here from you. I wanna hear how you relate to this topic. I'm sure that there are many of you. Either know someone who who's had extensive plastic surgery is a result of not feeling pretty enough sexy nap. I'm sure that there are a lot of you out there who are imagine that your significant other. Be your your partner your spouse think that that you're not pretty enough for them because you're not there type. This is something that comes up a lot in the treatment room. A person might say to me. I don't think i'm my husband's type. What do you mean you're not your type. Well you know he's been staring at these blonde women are women with big grass or women with large Large dare years or could be vice versa. That we're the man doesn't think that he is his Significant others tight because she's already said. Wow my my ideal role model of a man. Is george clooney or whoever i. I don't watch a lot of tv. So i'm a little bit of a mt on on coming up with male role models but you can see the point here that The some rare in this conversation the energy is not connected in the relationship is a matter fact it is disconnected and i i very much encourage you to download a free copy of my pedia. Be the cost. Fuelling human disconnect. Because in the book. I talk about a case study. Where one of the partners feels like. She's a blow up doll and she doesn't even feel that she's a human. She feels more like an object. And that's the problem here is instead of a human connection what the poor and brings into the picture along with. These triggers is an objectification of a sex in when there's objectification of sex. There is no intimacy so all we can have here is panel four five six so four is the chaos and in the chaos includes the arguments and And the tears in the hurt feelings said the threat to the relationship and then people will defend against the chaos and so built defend onto levels defend against everyone's with childhood so things. They don't feel pretty enough in sexy up. They may resort to Losing weight or throwing up going believe mix so that they can manage their way or going to the plastic surgeons several times. I could call back in the day when a had a stop. Smoking clinic in a weight loss clinic says a long longtime ago. It was called hat. Breakers and I was not a psychologist at the time. And i was doing a lot of behavioral work and a had a young woman who was a beautiful beautiful woman she was a penthouse centerfold. She was beautiful and she was coming to me for stopping smoking. She wanted me to do other work with her. But i couldn't at the time. Because i was really qualified to do the deeper work but every time i saw her she was morphing and one we had the most gorgeous perfect knows in one week. She said you see my nose not a hundred percent straight so next week when i come back that will be straightened out. And i'm thinking. Gee what is going on here because this woman is the most beautiful house and then the few weeks later was for knees and she would show me hermes and then she would squeeze these together and say see. Look at all that cellulite. I'm gonna go get my niece up and this did not stop and of course. I didn't exactly know what to do for this poor woman but i sure remember the journey that she was on because in essence her childhood wounds..
Our Concealer and Corrector Recommendations for Those Pesky Dark Circles
"If you do have a predisposition to dark circles. no amount of selepe or borough is really going to help it. I have a girlfriend. she's great. She's absolutely stunning. Even if she has made a yoga retreat in bali fid ten years. She still has dachshund. It's just part of her heritage so she's always venting to me saying help. What can i do. And so the best line of defense is make up as we said skin k. Can't really do that much. Can cake is great for hydration and even for the circle pot but for the dot color pot. You really need to call on makeup so you wanna do a two step approach with geez color correct and then conceal so i you need to color corrector. And it's a bit of colossians really want to go opposite on the color wheel so we're trying to hide purple. So we weren't like peachy orange my favorite's the charlotte tilbury magic vanish. And the bobby brown correct on. They both really fantastic specifically formulated for doc because they come in various shades so if you very pale with dark circles or if you're very dock with dachshund goals you can get one to match your skin tone and what you do use a teeny tiny amount just on the real kind of inequality. And where the doc mris and then you blend out really carefully out to where the darkness kind of subsides. you don't use a lot like conceal. I use a tiny amount another one. That's really good is the max. Judy affixed conceal a pallets because they have a variety of shades. In the one pallet. So you can kind of get you ought on and get the right color happening there and then on top of the color corrector wants that stride or tacky then you want to conceal. I asked my lovely great girlfriend. And she's swayed by the east coast medics by under i conceal. So it's a full on heavy duty high coverage conceal but it's really jewelry and really hydrating because a lot of the heavy judy conceal as can be quite drying and then under the i. It's fine lines and show then you don't have any dogs articles but you've got wrinkles so she swears by that and she pops on on top of a color correct done. It's really effective and so it is a bit of a labor of love to hide dark circles. It's a daily thing. There's nothing that's really gonna fix it sort of long term but a color corrector really
New Zealand Suspends Quarantine-Free Travel
"I leave the new zealand. Government has unfortunately posed the trans-tasman bubble from midnight. Last night. judy concerns about rising nineteen case. Thomason australia the pause effects travel from all the states and territories to new zealand and will remain in effect for eight weeks new zealand citizens. Permanent resident and fees. The whole is currently in australia. As well as trillion citizens who have recently been in new zealand and left on or off to the six april this year as well as their family members will still be allowed to return to new zealand on quarantaine free flights until next friday the thirtieth of july but this excludes anyone who's been in new south wales in the past fourteen days. Who would soon need to enter two weeks of managed isolation and quarantine on arrival back in new zealand and at the moment anyone traveling from victoria to new zealand over the next week. We'll need to self isolate for three days and get a curve attest. After arriving back in new zealand off the thirtieth of july once. That's finish next. Friday qantas's jetstar will spend almost all of their trans-tasman services at least until the twenty fifth of september when the bubble is currently scheduled to resume any zealand will continue operating but only limited trans-tasman flights and to and from oakland with various parts of new south. Wales victoria and south australia old. Currently on lockdown olas trillion station. Terry trees have unfortunately also reimposed restrictions on interstate travel and this is unfortunately prompted rex to cancel. All of its boeing seven three seven passenger services starting from tuesday of this week until at least the of august. I just on the two weeks of this point.
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"Every run and thank you for tuning after julie. Dr judy wto. What the freud and tonight's episode is going to center around the topic of ken. You heal when you're in a toxic in environment labral gonna go into the mind map is. I usually do arrogant to talk about your environment you're Psychological environment was specifically work psychological environment or your relationship psychological environment and other environments that you exist in and we could look at it through the lens of toxicity tonight. So what do you think. Can you heal if you're in a toxic environment. Well the answer is it's very difficult to do that. However there's one way that you can at least get some community toward the toxicity at that is specifically to dismantle the triggers and strengthen your boundaries so this discussion is going to be about triggers and boundaries and how people can infiltrate through and what talk society does even when you're trying to heal at you've done your work in than you go back into a situation where it's really really unhealthy for you. And this is colin. Show everyone so. Please feel free to call in. And also i am offering this july specifically a free full consultation with one of my staff members so please do take advantage of it. We want you to understand the system of the mind map in how powerful it is. We have literally healed thousands upon thousands of people addressing childhood wounds up to the election abuse and also dealing with envir- manson how the toxicity of an environment of meaning who you're with whom you surround yourself with makes a huge difference and i'm sure that there are plenty of people listening tonight who have been affected and infected by their environment. I definitely get a lot of people who come in for therapy. Amend are still in that horrific toxic environment in. It's really really hard for them. To especially once you get healthier is really hard to be in a place where you're not being supported where you don't feel that people have your back where you feel that your easily manipulated or gas lit and so a really do want extend myself to you tonight so that you do call in because it's always more fun for at least for me when i talked to you rather than monologue all by myself. Answer certainly to apply the mind map to your Situation so let's put the mind map up there so we can look at that mind map and talk about talk society so if you look at panel number one you will see the toxicity as metaphorically represented by the shadows that shadow over that light. Now that light is your potential your full potential to manifest the best of your best however when we unfortunately are either abused physically sexually verbally emotionally or neglected when we're controlled when we're smothered it it shadows over us at it interferes with our ability to grow so that you can see that the first level off of talk society from a mind map perspective is who your family of origin is who your parents are your primary caregiver your secondary caregiver and then the extended family the culture that you come from and also the multi generations of people that have trickled down. There psycho pathology so now that you have been affected by that. I like to use the word infected by that Now now you were car to cleaning yourself in clear your mind process. Your feelings is so. I can't overemphasize how important it is to. Then once you're relatively clean and clear of this to them make sure that your environment supports your new emerging south so also for the people who have not yet either purchased a copy of my book. Be the cost to amazon. You can have a an actual copy through amazon of the cause healing human disconnect which outlines my entire mind map system. And if you would like a free. Pdf copy all you need to do is subscribe or a write in. Ask for one and we will make sure that your sent a three. Pdf copy and be sure to post app. Free pdf copy on your instagram facebook. Your social media so that other people can avail themselves of the healing system because obviously we are interconnected and if you spread good sound information as to how to heal through our rules. Then we're responsible or rather were being the cost of the outcome of bettering another human being's life So let's go into these childhoods that i'm talking about and i know i repeat myself but it's that important as we all know. Repetition is the mother of learning so these chocolate wounds specifically are verbal abuse. Physical abuse sexual abuse the lacked and smothering and smothering controlling has to do with spoiling. It has to do with Helicopter parenting has to do with parents. Who are trying to control the direction of of their child's life to the point where they They serve the child's will to to direct their own Life according to their interest in their own plans and then the other wound that i talk a lot about specifically related to narcissism and narcissism as a system gone wrong is the wound up apathy. So there's nothing more painful than being actually ignored a disconnected from a pushed. Aside may to feel worthless made to feel invisible and this is a lot of what we deal with the psychological healing center. Because sometimes we'll that are really obvious we can. We can at least porn our our finger at and say well. Of course you're feeling anxious or depressed or of course a feeling dysregulation emotionally. You've had all your life you've been y'all data name called all your life but that apathy wound is is a lot more subtle what i mean by apathy is when the parents simply don't care when they put their own feelings before your feelings at that is a very toxic environment so let's go through the mind map and i want you to have a a global understanding of this process and of course invite you into the process because reading a book is going to be very helpful and doing my math video series is going to be very helpful. That's certainly available. Our combining the mind map video series with the book. And having your own therapists lead you through the process is going to be profoundly game Changing because it's going to take you from the unconscious place to a very conscious place where you could see what's happening. You can see what went down and they could see how It it it. It actually affected the patterns of your life the choice of partnerships the choice of even work environments and then your defense mechanisms and how those defense mechanisms a play into your boundaries or lack thereof. Okay so let's take a look and see that when you were a toxic environment in essence We we can't function because if you're not a toxic environment of pollution will then how can we breathe properly. How can we exist properly. How can we grow and and expect to be healthy in that environment. So out of these unfortunate ones of childhood we therefore react to them and these reactions can be reactions that are somatic. they live in our musculature. They live in our organs. They live in our emotions. They live in places. Where you're you're feeling it you're symptomatic. Sometimes they come out in dream material they come out in all kinds of symptoms. And these are..
Gut Healing and the Carnivore Diet With Sarah Kleiner, Host of the Carnivore Yogi Podcast
"What does working on your gut mean. Yes so for me. I had started working a little. Bit with nutrition with judy The friend of mine and she had me start on just some probiotics. And but i also what i wish i had done was started using some. Hcl some For some acid and then some digestive enzymes. That really made a huge difference for me. Because what i found is that i wasn't breaking down my food. I wasn't absorbing nutrients. Because i had done a lot of gut damage prior you know. I had been on. A lot of antibiotics had been on a lot of different medications And so there's there's a lot of prior damage before even into carnivore. And that's probably why i had such severe ibs. I had such severe issues before carnivore even started was because it was my my gut that needed healing so for me like elimination diet is great. But you have to go a little bit deeper and see what's going on your severe despite versus Are you do you have enough stomach acid. Do you have proper enzymatic function. and then i've also added some beauty rate in as well and supplement with peter eight. That's been helpful. So it's been. It's been a lot of stuff that i've done. I still use the probiotics I'm still using the enzymes. And the hcl and the post biotic right now as well but those things are working really well for me. So i might take a break from them Or wean down in a little bit
How Does GDPR Impact Marketing and Communication Space?
"Will come up enough. Thank you for such a such a privilege in I'm so pleased to be on a podcast looking forward to our conversation even if you would allow me to start with a little bit of humor since we are talking going to be talking about travec and judy. Vr and all those nice things. Let me start by offering you my express consent on Using In your podcast and any personally identifiable information so you have my consent documentary. Good said that shows that you're not a lawyer because if you were from legal department he would also said hey. I explicitly declare that anything. I say is my personal opinion and not relating to my company absolutely So yes i could lawyer. I decided to take a route into marketing. The profession and i haven't looked back and You know but the interesting points of incidents like the one we talking about today where there is invents deliberation between a marketing department. And then of course the compliance this can regulate recital claims so always exciting. That's one of the one of the one of the blazer looking like marketing communications. Is you get to work with every part of the organization with the external world. And i think the opportunity to learn so many things is just tremendous. Which is which is what really excites me about this being in this profession
Despite Rise in COVID-19 Cases, Masks Are Not Mandated in New Jersey
"There has been no spike in hospitalizations due to covid infections. But the state is seeing a sharp increase in the rate of transmission now at its highest level in months at 1.37. New Jersey is also seeing a rise in the number of so called breakthrough infections. The state has documented nearly 3500 infections among those considered fully vaccinated and 31 deaths. Despite the spike in new cases, hospitalizations have remained low at around 300 statewide. In California. The delta variant has been pushing covid cases higher and the indoor mask mandate has been reinstated. Is covid infection. Rates in hospitalizations rise in New Jersey A return to face coverings is not being ordered here. Jersey Health Commissioner Judy Purse, Achille says. While Covid cases are up in Jersey hospitalizations remain relatively low, as do the number of patients in the ICU and on ventilators. So severe disease seems to be under control. But we look at this every day. As you can imagine, Governor, Murphy says. Right now, state officials are comfortable with where the Covid metrics are, and hopefully, things will stay that way. I don't want to go back. But if we think that's the right public health thing to do that, that's what the the experts will suggest.
56 Shot, 11 Fatally, in Weekend Gun Violence Across Chicago
"In Chicago. The police Department says 56 people were shot 11 killed in 44 different shootings across the city. The official numbers from the police ahead of a news conference later by the police superintendent. WGN's Judy Wang is at police headquarters. Official numbers have not come out yet from the weekend from Chicago police, but it appears that we have surpassed last weekend's numbers. Children are among the weekend victims. Many of them were wounded in a single incident that happened late Saturday night in Austin. Where six people were shot near the same intersection. They were outside a party at Ohio Street and Laverne Avenue, where someone started shooting from a dark colored SUV girls ages. 12, 13, 14 and 15 were shot. A woman and a man were also hit No suspects in custody. That was the second shooting in the Austin neighborhood with multiple victims again. The official numbers just out from the police department this morning. 56 people shot 11 killed And 44 different shootings across this city of Chicago
The Disappearance of Kim Ghelkins and Her Ties to Pee Wee Gaskins
"It didn't take long to zero in on gaskins as a suspect. Investigators were aggressive pounding the pavement looking for leads. That's when they met the mother of dennis. Bellamy diane bellamy and johnny nights. She reported her three children or also missing Mrs night brought the story to ahead. Marianne griffin began it permission. I gave information. That people in the neighborhood are all missing. They would also learn jesse. Judy and johnny sellers were missing and the common denominator in these missing persons. Was pee wee gaskins when they arrived at his home peewee. Wasn't there but the detectives did me sandy. The donna gaskins. It was the ex wife. Sandy who gave the detectives the lead they were looking for. Sandy snell gaskins told the police that peewee and cam often in prospect. Knowing kim was last seen with pee wee gaskins police quickly obtained a search warrant for pee-wee's trailer ninety miles away in prospect. It was there. They found clothing. That belonged to kim calkins. They also found a stolen car on his lot and he was arrested that same day for auto theft and contributing to the delinquency of a minor took her out across county allows. It was a minor charge as far as compared to murder was certainly series and have to put him back in jail still. There was no sign of kim calkins who had been missing for nearly sixty days. Police detectives tracked down walter. Neely pee-wee's close friend and applied pressure. Walter buckled but. He had no idea where kim was. He didn't know we had taken her to stay with his daughter. Shirley and gaskins and her husband howard evans. Police knew she wasn't there anymore. Shirley ann thought camp had gone to indiana where she had some family. So police were in a bind. Walter had taken them to pee wee's burial grounds and they were knee deep in digging up bodies but still no word on kim calkins dead or live.
"judy" Discussed on Death of a Film Star
"Reception the life afterwards. Judy and mickey or in the mews house in belgravia is not big and it's not flashy not film star a white front yellow front door. You walk in. The living room has white walls. Gray carpets a sofer in chaz in black and white. You go upstairs a shining rubber tree in apar- halfway up very late sixties. A small main bedroom to wardrobes too small chaz a bright blue bedspread another bedroom off to the side. Pink walls and pink carpets but so room across the london a bathroom tiled green six days. It's june now that the married. Three months judy nike. Johnny ray he comes round or there's not much else not much to do a saturday night. A program to what. John the bbc an early night. Judy saying she feels on well. Mckee feeling the same. It's the phone ringing. That wakes him up. Gone half ten in the morning and it won't stop is for judy so he calls the name. Nothing check said dressing. Room walks downstairs into the white and gray living room nothing. He tries the bathroom door locked. He climbs onto the flat roof inches round to the bathroom. Window looks inside. And that's when he sees a slumped on the toilet hands on her knees. Skin pale a trickle of dried blood from knows from my mouth. No movement now breath. They say afterwards she'd been dead for eight hours. They find a half finish bottle of second on her bedside table and no though with a hundred pills in it not yet opened. When the news breaks they show the old clips. The ten months and the scarecrow the wizard in the witch. They show her past a hit. They play the song everyone knows somewhere over the rainbow a song about longing about one into be somewhere else a place where dreams come true where trouble melts like lemon drops and judy. The woman running away from girl's passed the go lost a woman's world. There's something she says a few years from the end something that stays with you when you think of now. She says. I've heard how difficult it is to be with. Judy garland put you know how difficult it is to be. Judy garland and for me to live with me. She says i had to do it. What more unkind life can you think of the one i've lived this episode was written by tom. Ford ice and performed by me emma clark. It was edited by charlie frost research. We read me and my shadows a family. Memoir by judy's daughter lorna loft. We re watch the wizard of oz. A star is born and easter parade and use the archives of variety the observer the la times and flashback dot com. If you like this episode go back and listen to the one on marilyn monroe or sharon tate and if you want another podcast listen to search for death of a rockstar. And listen to the story of eva cassidy another star. We lost too soon. for listening.
Death Toll in Florida Collapse Rises to 4; 159 Still Missing
"About a hundred and sixty people were still unaccounted for a day after an Oceanside condominium building collapsed in Surfside Florida the way it is so difficult for Joshua Spiegel whose mom Judy is missing we understand this can be an extremely long process and that this excavation may take weeks if not longer and we're gonna be here fighting every second as to what caused the deadly collapse governor Ron DeSantis says it will take plenty of time to find that out anyone who is affected by this directly once that answer but also we need to know is this a bigger issue or is this something unique to the building first responders are using dogs and microphones in an effort to find people I surely after
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"Roken record against ride. I must be a loser. Her he's grade Makes a lot of money lucidity cows or whatever whatever whatever won all these awards in what's wrong with me. He's right something wrong with be in so really it's that parent that's a shame at the core and hasn't confronted his or her childhood wounds in his hiding behind the mask of money success awards and so on and his erected a really really bad gain a projecting the shame on to their children or their lovers our spouses or coworkers and so on several episodes while talk about control versus vulnerability and what happens to people who have been so injured that they basically cut their heart out. They basically numbed out. And they don't want to face up to their pain so they do instead of vulnerability. They've lost trust in the world. They can't be vulnerable to the world so they just shut down or project and an hide behind the mask of of this false soften whatever. The false was presenting to the world. And that's another thing that brings shame to children. Is that when they say to somebody. You know my god is so mean to me and then publicly. That doubt or that mom is so nice and generous than the team. Spirit or the You know the the the school will school volunteer non. There's so much cognitive dissonance because it doesn't line up. Hey dr judy. We do. Have somebody on the line okay. Name is her name is more. I'm gonna let her through right now andrea andrea alot. Hello bernie.
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"'cause he human disconnect and please if you wanna take the next step the my map video series breaks it all down however nothing can substitute for taking the journey with therapist and we have some really really useful people on staff people who are taught by me. Talk off the mind map system repealing and a very fortunately i have people at all skill. So don't be discouraged if you do call him for your feet a free consultation and you're all welcome to do that I do have a couple more in the chat room. If you wanna. What's that i said. I have a couple more people in the chat room talking. Were there you want to ask a question. you don't want to call him. That's why could chat it up and ask a question and I just wanted to say that you're welcome to call for fifteen minutes consultation so that we can break down what happened to you who done it. How did you react. what what what. Messy shameful toxic messages. Are you caring in. What are you doing with that. Those messages are you shamed shifting them on other people in that would be one of the defense mechanisms against the shame because who wants to tolerated so rather than feel that your shameful is. It's a lot psychologically easier but really not much because it doesn't work to make other people embarrassed to put them on the spot shave them laying them and hold them responsible and put them on the on in the spotlight of embarrassment. Because you're trying to get all that poison out onto other people. Are there any shot. Yes so i got a question from julie. Haber a hope. I'm pronouncing that right julie. Highly doing call you want sure. She said she said hi. Dr judy my mom was a narcissist and my dad neglected me childhood emotional neglect. I feel like a complete mess. How do i help my daughter whose dad is also a narcissist. Okay so julie this multigenerational and having help your daughter. Thank you help your daughter by i doing as much work as you can to clean up your own mess. And then if you're if the father daughter will clean up his mess on still a big fan of teaching children and teenagers the mind map and one passions is to get into the school system. So teach your daughter that whatever. She's caring is not her fault in teacher. That parents are not perfect in the messages that they download imprinted into their psyche are not necessarily a great one said messages. That are going to help them. Grow and further them. So i think julie is in case of your daughter. Do do teach in the mine. App is visual. it's real simple. Just sit down with her. And say what sweety year years. Here's what goes down with. Every human being were all wounded including would me. Everyone and julia had a narcissistic mother and father that that was not present. A that's what he said. Yes in the message. Yes so so so. In both cases you were not seen and heard which is really painful because we self define into in the eyes of our parents and that's how we learned to be proud of ourselves and that's how we learn to have course sense of self and that's how we learn to become independent by having a guide and not that guy should be family guide and if they're missing because of apathy years simply not being physically present than we don't have 'bout guide and we have no one to literally mira saugus tell your daughter. How is for her to understand these negative messages than soaked in. Because as you know so many children Get depressed and start drinking and doing other forms of drugs or cutting themselves her horror stories of suicide because they think that they're worthless and shameful and It adequate and stupid and ugly and on and on and on so these negative core beliefs in the toxic. Shame that we hold is so dangerous it is a time bomb just waiting to be pushed and then what happens when it is and the child does not ecorse sensitive south boom boom boom panel or five six now mystery. If you're foundationally not being neared in tune to and supported than you inner or dozen. Get a strong foundation. You don't have that built in soothing. That bilton confidence that built-in stable object constancy. Which means that you know that things will be up and down sideways and so remember the bill. Come back around again. If if you're missing all of that is really really scary. World in a world that could easily be triggered into chaos and those defenses. John paul because when people defend with drugs sex rock and roll and all these other things that i mentioned does aware as were busy summer. They try they try to number pain and so on but at the end of the journey that defense mechanism becomes like psychological prison and Ma- makes people sick and then the big breakdown happens. 'cause they don't hold the kind of like a down the breaks down breaks all hell breaks loose apeople in an extreme form can potentially implode which is zoff harm all the way course suicide or explode which is lashing out and then a getting so toxically e a poisoned they spew out their anger on other people on the extreme end is the homicide which we see all around us. We see suicide and homicide. All around us Satistics are but their way up there. Which tells us that. We're not doing too well as a human race is so. That's why it's important to teach your children the mind map and teach them the psychological process of they. Don't get stop thinking that they are Losers ugly in stupid in nba on top of them. Because if you see that. Your children are symptomatic You don't know maybe. They been bullied or sexually abused at school. Or maybe some teacher shame them. You don't rather that's what's important. Have relationship with your children so that you can talk to them Check in with See how they're doing you know. Sometimes you wanna check their body. Make sure they're not. Bruised scratched v that parent. That the is is is the parent who really really not only offers them. Safety emotionally and physically but apparent that will stay on top of their game in check. Your children make sure that the rates are not slipping. Make sure that they're not acting out hiding themselves or The breakfast smelling alcohol. They didn't have track marks all over their arms is our responsibility as parents to make sure as best as we can that our children are hit arcade if we have partners that are failing to be a better parent along with us and sometimes we have to sever those talks it ties unfortunately in that we have to teach our children to have foundries even if they choose to have contact with that talks appear to understand that the talks of parent is he'll parent in may try to project their talk sic sham and shane shift onto the child so that when a child speaks up and says something about their behavior in will be put down in back their place in the shame shift starts they will redirect the toxic parent will vija wrap that shame back on the shall shame on you for confronting or shame on you for judging me or shading on you for really anything in van that that show that a shape shifting those back into the child's system and reverberates in their head and this this this toxicity keeps growing a rotating in questioning the charts had a what.
What Do You Do When You've Been Blamed for a Covid Outbreak?
"I'm jordan rawlings. This is the big story. Judy is a veteran journalist. With cbs's the fifth estate which has been following the story for over a year. Now i guess. Hey judy let's jordan. It's been that time. Time has no meaning anymore really. but why. don't we rewind all way to may twenty twenty when when this started what happened in campbellton new brunswick campbellton new brunswick was coming off a high. At that point they had gone for about two weeks without a case of covid when all of a sudden an outbreak appears in this little town to small town basically in the north of new brunswick across the river from quebec and they had a smattering of cases. Roughly three cases and the premier gives a news conference on may twenty seven and he basically leans the outbreak on your responsible medical professional and at the time and i realized this is asking you guys to kind of reconstruct Who knew what more than a year ago at the time. What was the thinking From the premier's office sure but also just in general. How was it covered. Well when the premier gives a news conference and he he pinpoints the issue from an individual from an irresponsible health worker. He where everyone is assuming that because he is the premier he has done all this research. He has the backing public health. They have a lot of info that we don't have
Republicans to Introduce Censor Resolution Against the Squad for Contributing to Anti-Semitic Attacks
"Group of Republicans This is from Breitbart will introduce a sensor resolution to condemn and censure the so called squad. For defending foreign terrorist organizations and using rhetoric, which contributed anti Semitic attacks across the United States. Now you would think this is not controversial. We're talking, of course about centering Omar. An AOC and Talib and Presley. But it is controversial because this is the heart and soul of the Democrat Party. And the Republicans. The group has led by Michael Waltz of Florida. Good guy Jim Banks, Indiana. Claudia, attending New York. She's great to remember they tried to steal the race from her. The resolution says the squad members of defended foreign terrorist or I didn't hear the attorney general talk about this. I didn't hear that fake phony fraud. Merrick Garland talk about this. As the late great Bob Grant would say. The central resolution says the squad members have defended foreign terrorist organizations. And inciting anti Semitic attacks across the United States. And so forth. The group of Republicans wrote in the resolution that Talib has accused the Israeli government ethnic cleansing and claimed Israel was promoting racism and the human humanization. The resolution meant his Omar calling the Israel military response to Hamas strikes an act of terrorism rather than self defense. She also accused the United States are backing crimes against humanity. This is why Judy Jazz, Ceron. I want you to listen media it. Your low IQ Cuba phones, media matters you low I Cuba phones. Paid for him bought for This is a jihadi wing of the Democratic Party. Most Muslims do not conduct themselves this way.
Zuhdi Jasser Suggests Rep. Ilhan Omar Has an Un-American Worldview
"To know about. Muslims. Who are Very comfortable with with the Western enlightenment and in the United States and who can practice their faith freely and, uh Who support our country and yet Judy Dresser. We watch Omar and tallied and others. These are Radical individuals. Will you tell us? What What did you How do you make this out? Well, you know, I have to tell you as much as every tweet that she does revealed her ideology. It's not just about the one tweet. It's her worldview. It's incompatible with Americanism. She is at her core anti American. So now we're seeing all of the uproar appropriately about this tweet, where she equated are American troops in Israel with the Taliban, Hamas and these other terror groups. And a few years ago, she equated our service in Somalia. She basically chastised Senator Franken for reminding Minnesotans about The terror committed against American troops were 19 died in 73 were injured in 1993. And yet, she said, no the real terrorists at the time where Americans who killed thousands of Somali And this is when she was barely 10 years old. So I would ask Americans, you know, she has no business serving on the Foreign Affairs Committee. Not just because of a few comments here or there, her worldview. Is that America is evil is that Israel is evil. The West is evil, and that the the the righteous ones are the Islamists who believe in an Islamic state. Her resume on foreign policy is the support of BDs, where she
Rachel Gross on her book The Deli is My Synagogue
"Rachel gross welcome back to judaism unbounded so great to have you. It's so great to be back. Thanks for having me so. I wanted to start with a question that i feel like lexin. I were debating for a while a couple of years ago. And then we kinda stop debating it. And i think we should be debating it again which is basically. What does religion mean you know. What do we mean when we're talking about religion because the subtitle of your book as jewish nostalgia as religious practice. And i think it's really important to start by understanding. What do you mean when you say religion or religious practice. I think religion as really important relationships so those relationships can be relationships between humans and the divine or other sacred figures between living humans in community with one another or between humans and their ancestors all kinds of meaningful relationships and then the practices attacks the stories that we use to build those relationships and coming to this definition. I'm building on many other scholars of religious studies and particularly religious studies scholar robert or see who thinks about religion as relationships. And i'm i'm building on that to think about these three hypes of relationships. I think we're jews. We might think about how some jews might be interested in a relationship with god for other jews. The relationship with god may really be in the background and we might be thinking about relationships with the people around us or with our ancestors. And i think that those types of relationships are as important that we can understand religion as as those relationships too. I guess i'm really just struggling with this question of like okay but you know in common use people say well. I'm jewish but i'm not religious. You know they mean some version of like. I'm not into the god stuff for the praying and we could redefine. I mean this is what. I was really struggling with this. I was reading your book. It's like we could redefine religion so that everybody's religious now it's okay. Why is it better to redefine the term religion than to just find a different word. Capture this loyalty. This interest in judy judaism jewishness that you have but also being able to distinguish it between what the people who go to synagogue. Chabad and pray for three hours. What they're doing. So the question is why does defining religion matter and white is redefining. It matter
Learn Positive Coping Skills Today
"I'm excited today to introduce judy moskovitz. She is going to be talking to us about positive coping skills for caregivers and slightly different than your general self care topics that we hit upon. She's got a research program that actually trains you on how to shift. You're thinking into positive gear. So thanks for joining me judy. Thanks for having me. I'm excited to talk about this cool. So why don't we just jump in and have you tell us about yourself and your program. Yeah happy to so. This works started for me. So i'm i'm trained as a social psychologist in. My expertise is in stress and coping emotion. And i started my career studying how people cope with stress so You know when something difficult happens as it does to all of us constantly difficult happens. What do you do to cope with that to. How do you feel better. And we were doing a study of men caring for their partners with aids. This was the early to mid nineteen ninety s so before the treatments more effective so it ended up being a study of the stress of caregiving as well as the stress of bereavement has many of the partners died and early on in the study caregivers. And we were. We were asking about what's stressful about the what's stressful about caregiving. And how are you coping with it. And then that would be the end of the interview and they they said you know you're not asking us about the good things and we want to talk about that and i were sort of surprised what he good things horrific like this is some of the worst human can experience but they said no there are good things going on and so we added a question where we ask them to tell us about something positive in meaningful that happened in the past week that help them get through a day and they almost in almost every single interview in did hundreds of them. The participants could come up with something positive. That happened recently. That helped him get through a day and they were small things like a beautiful sunset or a walk on the beach or making a a meal that their partner enjoyed so they weren't winning the lottery. Or you know finding a cure for cancer like they were they were little everyday things and by focusing on them and experiencing now and talking about them they were able to than that help them cope better with the stress of the caregiving the bereavement so based on that finding then some other research. That was coming out in the literature and some more work that we did. We decided that we wanted to put together a program that helped people experience more positive emotion on a daily basis which then would help them cope with whatever type of stress they're coping
"judy" Discussed on The My Future Business™ Show
"They would of course book a call with me. We would just talk the wrong kind of you know, if coaching is right for them. And if it's not that's fine. I can you know, if they if I could serve them in some other way I can divert them to somebody else or if I they feel that you know touching is something that's for them and they're interested in what looks like to work with me then we can talk about that but I usually just like to spend some time talk to somebody they really get to know them and see where they are at home in this phase of their life and what it is that they're wanting to achieve and what got them to seek out coaching in the first place because everybody has everybody has a reason yeah, of course if you know dead. To see if we're a good fit because I don't work well with everybody and people don't work closely Judy preliminary phase. What are what are some of the things you like to tease out just give the listeners a bit of context as to what they can expect if they try to make contact with you. Yeah now so I usually I'd love to listen so usually that time when we're on the phone together, it's me just listening to them. You know, I listen to you know, where they're at right now in the phase of their life, you know, if they have you know, the logistics stuff, you know, are they married do they have kids? What kind of job are they are they an entrepreneur do they work in an organization, you know and things like that too and then really kind of just take a little bit deeper look like you know, what what you know what provoked you to to find me or you may be interested in coaching and then even digging a little bit deeper, right? You know, then it's just like, okay..
"judy" Discussed on RPM45
"Hey. This is marquess off and this is RPM forty five. Six decades. Yes. It's been almost sixty years since Judy Collins released her first album. Now, fifty nine albums later to platinum and four gold. Judy counts is still going strong, still writing and performing both on record and in concert. Here's our talk with an incredible artist and incredible person. Judy Collins. Okay. We're on. Hey. Great. Are you I'm fine. How are you doing? Where are you calling from Ann Arbor, Michigan. Oh. been here. Many Times. I know my hand. At the ARC. And the Folk Festival? Yes. Exactly. I know I, checked it out and I I saw at least five times that you've been here. Good. Yeah. I love the focused. So that was always wonderful. Yes. Well, I'm so honored to have you here and I really do appreciate your coming my pleasure when I found out that we'd be doing this. I immediately had your book, Sweet Judy, Blue Eyes, sent to my kindle. Good. It's an amazing book I. Really Truly enjoyed it. Writing it. I did I. Liked you. It was amazing to me about your book is it's so candid. Weren't trying to burnish or image in and. You, really were very upfront about the issues you've had in your amazing life, and I think is probably very helpful to a lot of people and I know that you've done that in other venues as well. Not Just your book could done interviews about all these issues and all that you know whatever happens to you. It's the only thing you have. Your story is probably all you've got. Much true. You've had a lot happen to. A Lot. Done a lot. It's just amazing. I'm I'm really going to There's so much talk about with your career I'm GonNa stick with mostly that stuff. One thing I wanted to talk to you about is how you got started Simply because I don't I never knew the story and I think a lot of people who listen to me don't know the story either but that you really started on musically. As a kind of a prodigy on the piano. Yes, I did. I, still have to practice every day when I was little while I was born in Nineteen, thirty nine and my dad already had. Started, his radio show in Seattle. He was. He was a singer wonderful performer, sang all the songs of Rogers and hard and. Really. was a good singer. He sang a lot of Irish English and Scottish songs as well as Rodgers and Hart, and so I grew up listening to all of this and I clearly had a strong interest in the piano I wanted to put my hands on it when I couldn't reach it..
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"We're headed. Okay? Lotions and I'm reminding everybody that the we are still dealing with cogut so for out there with with a voice, so we have to still practice social distancing. We gotTA consider that when we get together in Reuss I think the number Surat on coded and so we. Are Deeply interconnected deeply interconnected whether we like it or not okay so So so taking care of you is really taking care of me. In you taking care me is taking care of you and I mean that on you know on a micro scale. Skill. Yeah People Forget that they forget that people need reminding. Right because it comes full circle. Enough I'm help like if mine healthier saw to another human being and. The really what we're here to do, we're. We're here to elevate people. Well! Thank you again Dr Judy for Just shutting your insight, it's always so great to listen to you and we need. We need more people to help. how he's just He's my think vital perspectives that you that you I think enlightened people about every every week. So thank you again. Really appreciate it. I need you guys. I can't do this alone, you see. I'm just one person when voice. In in in in hoping. Guys earn. In think about it, and and make your own decisions based on a consciousness of love of empathy in then if you step into those shoes than in, you'll know what to do. Yes. Thank you so so very much. I'M GONNA to shrink tune in some fairy. A reactionary tune gonNA maybe leave Sorenson 'cause the last thing I wanna do is activate the amid Alah. But I just thought it was a great Sausa-. Thank you so much for Kalayaan and. Hope everyone is understanding system bomb wrong in how to A beautiful system were all part of the human and human race, and we all participate in. A lot of things owning our own staff and a taking inventory of where we are. In our own perception in cleaning that up than leading up on a micro scale, so we can really be healthy on a macro scale, so the song is called Color Blind held appropriate. Begin light. Agus were colorblind. Whitehead Black Plus White Man's white lab white cotton in the Wakefield's blacks ways with their black backs peeled boy. This is an intense song that I love the point. Pass kills the black feed in the Black Knight running fast from the black box of the black fight, but should I ask what is what I heard is only black lives. Darkest white is good. It's like the light right right lack Bible white pages slacking used strong by white macy's black faith but white. White man flight plans are whitewashed. That's why they built these white walls. I'm printed. They might fall I guess we're colorblind. They S would call it lie. Why did and I said to all the ways of our creator for he had made us in his image. We are also imitators. Love that you know. We were Betas human race. Now we're image hater. I guess we caught. We become colored line. All I see are shades of gray. Well that's a little bit more integrated as. shades of Gray were down my window pane. All I see are shades of gray, the strain or stem, though window Kane looking through this window all I received paying I saw window pane, p., a. r., an so so much emotion in the song of by widow, looking out of white. Out A white window, if by black widow that's widow pain, so I just loved the way this person goes back and forth between these metaphors, a little poison with a little rain. A little boy was killed skin with state. At least that's what they thought. And so he hangs once I heard a white Christian man point the finger in his hand at blast, was the market's Cain Dang so twisted I heard the same in yet the opposite from lack. Christian, so I guess we're all the mark of Cain. She is. What a song service we kill, each other were clearly disables lane got some black. Golly. They don't even know it yet. My wife family never cease to grab a hold of it. But by Chu Qin. This is where I this is. Why chose the song okay? Might Chook here is every tone. Every color hated. Bet All my sisters and my brothers, but break these chains break these chains breaking chains Lord Oh. Please break chains break these chains break these chains. Okay save with amazing race. so the chains when our change our `ISMs, our projections are psychological. Prisons are column doubled dungeon of darkness, so we've got a free ourselves from this double dungeon darkness of pain, so we can break these chains. Only we can do this. So thank you so much for calling in an for those of you, who WanNa comment, please do so and always very very welcoming. People who have awesome ideas on how we can come together as a united humanity so on Lee share. Thank you so much, everyone..
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"Saw better grades they were. More willing to participate with others. They felt less level of rejection because they thought that okay. The percent of that rejected me while maybe overall or she'll, and she'll understand from my point of view and I thought it was a really great example. Finally at the end of the school year, the students provided information about their stress, level and physical health, and that's what calendar they found that. The more participants believed that personality can be changed less affected. They were by being excluded. Students believe that others can change the lower their stress, the better their health higher, their grades, so being the consciousnesses causal. Let let's also Allow people to grow, and sometimes we do have to go through horrendous experiences individually amnesty human race in also step back from it and ask ourselves. Individually collectively. What are we? GonNa do. This. So yes, I definitely want to hear from you. Please do call. Time for questions and answers in the ever. Paul. Great thank you I love you are on the couch. And what is your name, please? Hello? Mom Is it okay, if I if high. Is it okay if I remain anonymous? Totally. Thank you. Hi Dr Judy so yeah when it comes to label ISM. I I like the claim, my label of Person Hood. First Because it. Yeah? I feel like you know as you may may see clear clearly connecting as opposed to putting other labels, I such as color, race, gender, or saying things like I'm an Asian woman or the South African Man compared to saying I'm a person with Asian descent or I'm a person from South Africa. and. Yeah and it's like you know we go from pigeonholing. To in my eyes re. Ourselves so there's a time and a place for. Titles and I think we are just applying that system into too many situations because we haven't been as collective very mindful of it. I'm very mindful of that I. Try to be especially I think my generation. millennials and excuse me Gen Xers, and then I I think now just more people also a of every age in modern day society are also becoming more mindful of label. It is because it's become such a topic like so to tonight, and just appreciate a of and then lastly I just want to add that it to me. It's just a matter of craft. Sing it, which is also tough, and then also teaching it which I think God incredibly now. Knowledgeable people like yourself are really doing just that. Much thank you. You know I know that sometimes timing is everything in attempt to. Jump jump the gun sometimes and say well. This is what my dream is, you know maybe other people join the dream of. A joined. The human race joined the humane. And I WANNA. Get to know you, so I'm not gonNA call you. Lack woman or the white woman or the Jewish woman. Navy all those things beautiful yeah okay yeah. Get to know year. And unless I take the time to do that right than than if I'm just identifying with you as A. There's there is. Remember panel five Channel Five. Isn't isn't ISM ISM what what usually happens in the case of? A clash and that's what we're seeing today. Clash of the. In so. Going back to Let's say were to be a certain race or a certain religion or.
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"And Welcome to Dr Judy guilty. And again I have the Aurora borealis behind me on the worst attack so I can't turn it off, so I guess I'll just go with. The flow literally is of pretty so let it be, and tonight's topic is labeled lissome. I thought that It's important that we talk about label is of course. There's a lot of that going on right now. And I want people to understand that it is an ism off will tell you more about what I mean by that. When I break down my mind next to salmon. Hello, everyone on Dr GD Rosenberg. I'm a licensed nichols psychologists. Head up the psychological healing center and I'm. The creator of the mind map system for healing, human disconnect, and we really need healing human disconnect. We've always needed. Were in desperate need now and human disconnect was always that to be a segue into healing global disconnect, which is something that we radically need right now I'm GonNa do a lot of mind mapping tonight. I WanNa hear from everyone. We have a lot going on a indie. The protesters and the the riots and Co. Vin is just such a very very strange time, and so I'm GonNa. Work on helping everyone deactivate their make to last something that I've down that I have to do for half to do for myself on a regular basis. Just so everyone understands the middle is part of the brain that is in charge of emotions, specifically emotions like anger, and this part of the brain is easily activated in Weiser easily activated because our fight and flight system lips, their fight flight freeze, and another one I want to add in their fawn fawn is kind of win. You Kowtow you. Give Up, and you just sort of just. been. So I'll give him the the. the atmosphere of today I thought label is is just something very very important that people understand, and I was delighted to get an email from one of my former clients who within the mind maps system that she took it upon herself to start challenging her own internal racism and shortly beautiful letter persona knowledge you thank you or keep your confidentiality, but what I love about this work is the people are constantly elevating and off reflecting. Reflecting and self correcting an odd look at these `Isms as defense mechanisms, good battering different, these are defense mechanisms, and when we project things on people, we label them, and there's good reason for labeling people because it kind of makes us feel safe than organizers, our world, and then there's a real downside to labeling people WANNA get into all of that tonight. Quite a bit to get into I will start by reading from my book here it is. Be The 'cause. You Mean I. Don't think it's coming through very well. Thank you so much. Tech support costs healing human disconnect. And I want to remind people that this. Book was originally intended to heal human disconnect with the attention of healing local disconnect, and I try to break things down very simply so that people can understand it. And try to break it down so simply that even a child can understand it, and for those of you who have seen my mind map video series or have watched the the episode where my grandson breaks everything down according to the eyes of the four year old child I. WanNa start by breaking down from the is a four year old child, so that you can see what's going on with with with our our entire system at Demi will look at the system gone wrong so if you'd be so Cardis to put up that mind map. Will put label lissome in the context of all of this Oh, if everyone could see panel, one represents the darkness and the lights, and metaphorically we can. We can use it to symbolize all kinds of things we could simply use it to symbolize wounds of childhood of which I, speak up very frequently which are. Physical Abuse Verbal Abuse. Sexual abuse on neglected smothering and now ought to superimpose cultural and racial wounds in on top of all of that, and now we got ourselves quite a bit of reaction. So if you look at panel, Rumba Chew that represents the splintering of our psyche. A like to refer to. It is cracking up starting to crack up here because we were once. One united light of a human. Race manufactured were studying that this is a metaphor for the fracturing of the human race, and it's also a metaphor for the MIC dialogue, which is the reactionary fight flight hard the brain and then we've got handle three that represents all kinds of core beliefs that we pick up along the way of being parented by our Paris at all that the blueprint. Today I think it's relevant to mention a cultural core beliefs, and how that is also being triggered in the atmosphere of what's going on in so pal herald three is really the. The cognitive conclusion of what we make things to mean as a result of wounds of Childhood in the way we reacted, so we may conclude things like We're not lovable. We're not good enough. You're not.
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"I I don't know how long does it really imagine. Okay so look it's it's usually what I call the unfair unbalanced unbalanced deal. Okay yeah unfair unbalanced steel. meaning that you're in it. But they're not quite in Senate they're on the sidelines. There they may be outing as if they're in it they may be love bombing you and showing you signs that they love you and they may even be saying the right words and then withdrawing the behavior so they may say to you. Yes I want to go in the direction of this awesome that but then they never really do so so so again. How long do you WanNa wait is up to what you're seeing and and what doesn't as Tom just fed up because they make it seem like they're being supportive and and answering text messages and then hanging out one night and then going cold the next day and it's just I can't do that to my heart not for long good? I'm glad you said that because let's peel it back to your cost us. Let's go to your blueprint as see what was done to you. Because if your mother or your father gave you a little to keep you hooked but not really enough to nourish you. They just set up the system. Gone wrong you understand. We said okay. What choir they just groomed you to settle title for crumbs? Okay so that your psychological history. Did somebody offer you a a really juicy piece of cake once or twice or intermittently and we all know that intermittent reinforcement is the most powerful reinforcing schedule the world and then take that cake away and say oh look. Here's a tiny little sliver. Aren't you happy. And you're saying Oh my God I've been waiting for that sliver for so long that just tastes so good and then next time is three crumbs definitely been guilty of it. Okay and so. I'm reminding you that you've been groomed to tolerate this and the healthier you get the lesser going to tolerate it and you're not GonNa make an unconscious unhealthy unbalanced deals anymore. That toxic tie is not going to be a deal are are you sure case so I figure you know enough now so just watch this and see if if this particular person a person is able to evolve enough to develop some level of feeling for you for a two Kamar not just with words words. Words don't count they've gotta take action and show it now is on you know. Unfortunately I'm not. I'm not you know a therapist Chris Myself but I I have enough knowledge to able to point these things out because I've been researching psychology and all these kinds of terms and knows news of things of psychosis and everything like that so What do you do? How do you fix things when you pointed things out in in a manner that wasn't necessarily maybe healthier helpful will you mean? How do you fix things when you've confronted this person? Yeah like yeah when I confronted the situation like. Hey you're being like this and you're acting like XYZ and you don't use the you don't use the word it anymore. You just say when you feel when you say this makes me feel really unspiritual okay it makes me feel very unacknowledged and see what they say and if they excuse it like oh come on. You're so sensitive you always just too much. Then you know that you're dealing with with an unimpressive ethic person. And if they say yeah I I I. I didn't know if they're not. They're not not non-impact ethic well they are 'cause that's how that's how field at least so yeah right look to see how they defended battle. Tell you a lot a look to see how they behave. Okay how you the most how they behave. What what they say? Okay so yeah you could wait. But it's not a matter of the waiting time it's a matter of the investing in Emotional Development K. Yeah right thank you so much for calling in. Let me know how you're doing Yang and the book is free. Everybody grabbed the PDF copy. Put it up on your social media share at everybody can have eh share with your family members. They'll I'm being a little sarcastic. Some of them will just love you for it. Aw that a copy. You have a wonderful evening duty. Thank you much same to you could night okay. So are you beginning to see this system system gone wrong so building a sense of self after being demeaned devalued destroyed after being fed. A bunch of lies about who you are and how you are after being manipulated into What kind of job you should have? Or what kind of spouse you should have. Or what kind of A sport you should sign up for. Then you're left with wait. WHO WHO AM I? And then you figure out that you're just a An agent of your parents. That's who you are and then you start thinking while that's not very satisfying than you think will really who am I soon. How do you build a sense of self? So let's go all through the mind map and start from the beginning. First of all you have to identify your childhood wounds. who done it what happened? How were you manipulated? Appeal lated Were you physically sexually emotionally abused where you'd neglected where you smothered and most importantly in narcissistic abuse news. What was the level of apathy that you felt in your family because not all parents that slap or hit their kids are narcissist US parents who genuinely lack empathy in have no capacity to understand their impact on you? Well now we're talking more more along the lines of the narcissistic abuse because if they don't feel how it makes you feel than pretty much. They can do do whatever they want to. Because they're emotionally numb to their effects on other human beings. Okay so we've got to take a look and see what happened to you as a result of this horrible treatment and then we get to the reactions to these wounds and we find maybe maybe that year that you shut down that you That you you've you've fear relationships and so on and so instead of building a self maybe you cocoon yourself. Maybe you You retreat into a self. That isn't even properly nourished so remember. John Bull Colby the attachment theory. Dr Who says that in order to build a healthy self you have to have parents that give you eye contact and skin contact acton at the tune to you and emotionally nourish you and play with you and draw you out and you have to have a family system of parents that nurse. She and I think we have Colin so hello. You are on the couch. Hello Dr Dr Judy. Yes what is your name on we. Hi How are you good. Nice to talk to you. Where where are you? Where are you in the states and Maryland? Thank you so much for calling in and tell me a little bit about this topic how it relates relates to you what you know about the mind map and and building in tearing down the sense of self which we talked about last time right. Well I'm still learning about the mind map it's fabulous. I love the pictorial element of it. All it helps to to allow us to get out of our heads and to really be able to kind of a symbol. The pieces of the puzzle out in front of us. It kind of reminds ends me of attempting to assemble a jigsaw puzzle in your mind as opposed to having the ability to enter act with engage with it in a very tactile tactile fashion. Which is why I love your work so much? Thank you and You're welcome and I'm eager to delve into this topic because this this is something that I've committed myself to really being on fire with for twenty twenty self integration and a healthy whole fashion Ashen with this new knowledge itself and a desire to really peel away the layers of the onion unmasking the a false self and really allowing more of my true self to come forward and never was gone. It's just that it's been covered up you know and Oh kind of tamped down to speak so that would be panel number seven where you're integrating aspects of yourself where you're on. Shadowing the shadows rose. Where you're you're looking at the The cause and you're looking at the effects of these wounds on can you and no longer Taking it as this is how and who I am more like this is what needs to be removed moved in process so that I can breathe and that I can grow and that I could to create myself and this is what narcissistic injured. People don't feel that they can do because they've been so downtrodden they've been so demeaned and devalued in destroy their hiding behind the clouds so step number one. If you want to build a true sense of self sometimes what you have to do is you've got to push away people people. Who are you? Serve your sense of self right that that sounds pretty logical if somebody's vampire in you using your energy well set the boundary either. They're very tight or just get rid of them completely. Whatever you need to do Okay that's difficult and then there's push back with that however I love how the option of going low contact as opposed to no contact is available bowl. there is a cost for that because when boundary start to get enforced the persons. Who Have you've been accustomed to the metronome being set at a certain pace Are uncomfortable with the you know. They're like what we doing. This isn't how we danced the stand before. This isn't the tempo what are you doing. It changes the dynamic and it creates a shakeout. You know or shake up and there's fallout ow. Yep You you're on it. That's exactly what happens. Who wants to change the system? Remember when the walls came down and communism started becoming capitalism piddle ISM and people just didn't know what to do and there was a lot of chaos during that time so no yeah when you challenge the system and you push back so let's go to your point of no contact versus contact. which is a question? I get asked all the time and most thing low contact low not know but yeah no I would love to do. No but I'm not in a position to do that. Okay so most people don't do the no some people do because their Their circumstances are so dire that they just can't they just can and it's a personal choice. So Oh has how does that relate to building a sense of self if you've been violated so horrifically by a parent caregiver her then you may have to go no contact and once you go no contact you have to then allow yourself to be around around the kind of people that will mirror an attuned to you that will support you that will allow you to start growing in most cases. It's it's tough. I have a lot of people who say well. You know my mother's smothering me or my father is is telling me that if I don't Go into his family. Business is GONNA disown me. Well I don't know. This is such a difficult I think for people. Usually I must that they go real low contact and the other thing that I advise people to do is don't call in a lot of emotional topic so that when you do get together with your mom and your dad he could just say Oh. That's a great salad. Were eating By the way how. How did you like the new TV series so you talk language? That's that's that's now there. It's a object content rather other than personal like you really hurt my feelings. Well that's not going to do you good because remember the episode. I did called the herder. Can't be the healer so if you're asking your parents be psychologically Enlightened and be empathic suddenly it's not gonNA happen even if they commit themselves and pledged that they want to. I don't think the I don't think they have the bandwidth nor the personal insight oriented capacity to hold space for that level of conversation because it require various elements. Those uh-huh awareness. The we were you were mentioning how they would have to be. You didn't quite I say this but a buy in that something happened. You know there would have to be a buy into the fact that the system has basically gone wrong. You know they I see GEICO. It's true and a lot of times. my. My patients will say well how come my parents are so stuck in I I tell them that. Look what you're asking your parents to do is open up a can of worms psychological can of worms. That may be even worse than the can of worms that you the hat to deal with. And they don't WanNa go there and so there Hardened heart there hardened boundaries their inability or unwillingness willingness or fear of getting intimate about it. It you know it's just it's too threatening to them so they just rather ray checked they they would rather deny They would rather young just sweep it under the rug right okay. So is there an sure. Yeah go ahead. Is there unity. Do you think there's an opportunity then to see this through a compassionate lens of opposed to feeling wronged and winded weekend..
"judy" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"Hello Hello Dr Judy. Here of Doctor. Judy W T.F. With the Freud and tonight right we have a topic that is built on last times topic building your sense of self after narcissistic narcissistic abuse. And I didn't call this episode rebuilding a sense of self for particular reason which I'll get into the cliff notes version of why didn't call it. Rebuilding is because the sense of soft wasn't very well built to begin with so so This is a topic by request. I know I had a lot of callers. Last time and We will continue the theme of Narcissistic Abuse Sir. How to recover from it in this case how to build a sense of self so going back to an article by Kim saieed healing healing from nine narcissistic Identity loss after abuse. How do you know that you've been abused? While she has a few ways of telling that you have and then I'll add my own and please call and share your story so that we can we can. We can mind map. What happened and mine map? How to go from the disastrous effects of narcissist abuse on your psyche and start? Start to build you properly from the inside out which was never done To begin with so these are some hints is that you have been subjected to narcissistic abuse number one. You've missed out on major opportunities opportunities in healthy relationships relationships. People are supportive of each other to someone in your life guilt you out of accepting careers education that you want to engage H in number two. You've hit a plateau in life narcissists arguments troubles and problems take a lot of off time resources at energy. So you're if you're in a narcissistic family guess you're giving your time resources and energy energy to it feels like you've been spinning your wheels for months or years charter please someone so that someone may be a narcissistic mother narcissistic father or husband wife lover. This could also involve symptoms of depression. No kidding symptoms of depression. Depression symptoms that. Lead us to know that you've been depleted. You feel uncomfortable in your own. Skin in romantic relationships. Relationships narcissists often put down their partner's body to make the victim feel that no one else could desire them. That's a great control troll tactic isn't it. Make the person feel that ugly distasteful so that they could think that no one will want them and so therefore or they're stuck they don't directly put you down but they imply you'll always fail some narcissists disguise themselves solve as realist. Providing dose of reality is just that a dose of reality isn't supposed to tear you down if a person in in your life always has to mention the possible ways you could fail at something. They're probably Exhibiting these narcissistic traits and one more. They're always on your mind if you constantly find yourself wondering what would such and such and so on so say or or or how would they react then you put in too much energy into them and I believe we have a caller so hello. You are on the couch with Dr Judy Two one. Hi Hello Hello Yeah hard. What is your name please? Oh and Kathy Hi. How are you Jesse? Welcome to the show. Where where you calling from Jersey? Thank you for calling in and so so. How do you relate to this topic? What inspired you to To call in today well you know a lot of these things can be tricky. Tricky to point out 'cause they're very subtle as you mentioned and other videos and I know a lot of people that watch your show. Now thanks to you you know. I've discovered your book. Look I pass it along to everyone and anyone that I can man. You're so welcome. Thank you but I just want you because I know there's a lot of people probably watch this video very soon that I You know that I know and then just in general. Can you just point out some clear. The thing that identify the narcissistic abuse that can be held in family homes or family paradigm. Yes okay so I'm going to give example can you. Can you do like a mother for instance and how can it can affect your upbringing. And how those How you can identify FIDO's traits within yourself okay? These are great questions and I'm going to start by giving you my definition of narcissism and. I'm a systems thinker. These labels are great to Wrap around Atop a rapid topic around. But really what's happening is that there are injuries. There are Acts of omission acts of comission and the infant child is being shadowed over. And they're not getting getting enough psychological nutrients so they're not being built from the inside out okay and so in a narcissistic family. What what is is happening is that because of the parents injuries whatever happened to yeah they are they are reversing the system so instead of the parents the mother pudding you I? Yeah the year you have to put the mother up on the pedestal and meet her psychological needs so you see how this is upside down. And what if the person was raised without a father and doesn't know any any better and And what if the person Actually has therapy with you but still has hasn't seen these traits within themselves. They haven't seen those traits within themselves. Wow Wow that's a good question because people come to you know what if what if the person is so wide that the therapist can eat in. Say Hey I don't see it either. Okay let me go one at a time so I can cover all of this. Okay okay so I want to answer all of it so so number one if you have a mother and the father is gone and your mother is exhibiting these traits of narcissism meaning meaning. They are manipulating controlling. A vampire vampire in your energy in order to enhance hance themselves in order to make themselves feel better. Okay yes all right so now you're okay now. You're in the picture and guess what happens. I'm going to go to panel three just so that you get the visual panel. Three is the again a strand. It's a metaphor for the MOM and the DAD. The primary Mary the secondary caregiver that are supposed to be in these pillars holding. You up right so now what we have. We've got the pink Strand Strand Metaphor for mom the Blue Strand Metaphor for dad. But he's not there so guess who. The mother has to lean on child right. Hey so now. Instead of the father being that support strand to hold up the psychological system the child is put in that position and the mother leans back child and sometimes that chug becomes Mommy's best friend or Mommy's what the one to be. This can take years sometimes and hopefully inevitable no hopefully not had therapy with you and not hugh per se but with somebody on your and they did them the mind map therapy and I was. WHOA I don't even know I did the right thing by suggesting it? Okay did I know I did the right thing but dating really really get to the root and it's unfortunate because people can be so so deeply in denial with themselves and it's it's that is you see. It's very good question you're asking because most people who call me are calling me because they feel that they have been abused by a narcissist and then the themselves don't recognize their own narcissistic traits. And I think that's what you're referring to correct Okay so first of all. If if they're open to it have them call me. I WanNa see what was missed. I truly want explore what it is that they didn't see and so water narcissists. Come to they. They don't think they missed out on anything. It's just my opinions now. Okay so we don't know enough right. We don't know what what often happens is that depends on. This is a an interesting thing that I observe when people have a lot of For Block of a better term narcissistic supply if they've got a lot of fame if they have a lot of money if they have great looks they have You Know Big House Yaw the you know and a bag of chips right. It's going to be very hard to penetrate the narcissistic system because they can just blow you off and I'd say I'm Outta here you know I'm going on vacation I'm GonNa and that's exactly. Yeah I'm going to get my you know two two thousand twenty Ferrari right now. Sorry can't talk about it now. So what happens is that you just have to wait it out. And over time they will get older and they will start breaking down and because because they won't be able to really sustain healthy relationships ships they may go through a lot of partners or the partner that they they are with either will get healthier and healthier and dump them or the partner that they will we are with our good to get so depleted that they're going to get sick and they won't be able to perform properly okay. Then what are they gonna Gotcha all right but this is a very good point. So let's go to. I was going to jump into this part of the topic building sense of solve. What about building a false sense of self? It's such a good exactly. It says therapist can't see that it's a false sense of self. And so what are they doing therapy. They blame others. They point fingers at others. They complain about the other but they never really really managed to self reflect or sell cow or be brutally honest with themselves because that takes a lot of courage. Correct okay so it is possible. It's just that e e You have to listen very carefully and see if the person exhibits a bit signs of ability soft reflect and self-correct whether they have any sense of remorse for for pain that they cause other people. So what's their level. Okay you gotta look for all of this and sometimes a therapist just can't challenge. They can't challenge the system system. I have tried with patients. And sometimes these patients come in as couples and and one just wants to finger point at the other and it's really really really hard because if I do start shelling challenging the system. They're outta there. They will drop the therapist like a heartbeat. Because they don't they don't have the capacity see for them. self-reflection isn't what you think. Self reflection is self reflection to that is looking into those ugly critical is of the parent. And that's what the p the therapist becomes this critical. Because I that's GonNa make them look in the mirror and shame and guilt them. Of course that's called projection onto the therapist right and a smart smart therapists but somebody that may not pick that up. Might just not know What's going on and miss this space of the work? Big Sense to yeah. I feel like having sessions with the therapist see-saw just just to give balanced the things. I wish we were able to do a couple. Spare P maybe in the future but right now we we've just were. Were Kinda like Outta Ground Zero Hero. And he doesn't want any communication with me. He's Kinda just cut me off cold. Yeah and so I just have to wait it out. I guess it's okay. It's something out of it. Okay wait it out and of course. Don't wait too long because because this is the toxic tie. Hi Okay I want to get into this toxic tie business because once you've given your heart to somebody. It's really very difficult to unwind unwind. That feeling isn't it absolutely hurts very painful. Especially when you think you're there the person you're gonNA marry Rian spend the rest of your life with so what how do you. What do you think is healthy timeframe a healthy timeframe? I don't think it's a timeframe I think it's Work Frame if they're working on themselves and they're showing signs that they are okay. They're not showing signs yet but they're definitely I. Ah they're definitely working on themselves in some way and some aspects. Okay how long do.