1 Episode results for "Joe Kendo"
175. Lemonade with Abigoliah Schamaun and guest Nell Gifford
"I am a feminist but today Yoga I overheard a woman in the shoe area saying will men men like to claim this way but women to scrub. That's the difference between men and women how they clean and I wanted to say. Excuse me I don't want to be rude. But these binary ways that we talk about men and women do invite a certain culture that says that somehow Manohla always like this and women are like this best you kind of know to cleaning trend. You kind of noted agenda trend. Don't undermine that but saying men do and women do that. It's actually not that helpful but what I wanted to say. Even more was how common link to clean because I missed that pond. I heard that women's scrubbing wing section. How to clean because as far as I can make out not at all but what I did say was nothing talk? Get involved in this lady's life I don't know she doesn't need be tapping around the shoulder and telling her about does not but it's annoying. That would have been really fun though. So if you just gone up and being excuse me I don't think you should prescribed a cleaning gender binary now must stay and then just like and then like the little bells you know the the meditation Gong goes off and then you just evaporate. That bowl sounds off bowl. That could've been my interruption. Maybe it could have Donald Binary that yeah. I must not do that because I feel. It's going to be steeply culturally insensitive. I don't think we should throw that right. I'm a feminist but the last time I I was on the guilty feminist podcast I tweeted about it. I put it on instagram. I shared it on facebook and my mother called me and said congratulations nations. I've listened to the PODCAST. It's very good. You're very funny. Deborah's a lovely person. I just need you to know that you spelled feminists wrong in every single one of your posts. Oh every single. Oh No I cry ball. TURNS ZACK turns out. YOU DON'T SPELL FEMINISTS DEMAND S. I think you put a man into feminist. Yeah stop it right now. It's very on brand for me. I can't spell it the best time I remember in the second grade we were allowed to pick five words to be on our own spelling tests. That were special to us that we needed to learn how to spell so I had to put my name on spelling second grade. I was like nine and I still was like no the nine in the second grade. I think so are nine and six. Are you six. I think I'm nine and everything when in doubt I'm always like when I was nine number you would not nine. I'm a feminist but if I had to give up feminism or yoga for one week it'd depend where my head was Some weeks I really need yoga. I get it. I'm the same way I mean it's only a week. I wouldn't actively anti-feminist but if I had to rest all NAMA state I get it. I am a feminist but whenever I wear a crop top onstage to show my stomach and a fellow curvy woman comes up to me after the show and touches me lightly on the Elbow Elbow and goes I love your body positively. I WANNA puncher. That is the exact same thing as a guy coming up to me. Going your your tits. Look good in that top. It is not to be discussed. It is only to be enjoyed in silence. Yeah I agree because on the live tour I had this this big green sequent Cape and one night. I happened to be walking posted on summers and they had the same green sequence in full please swimsuit saw so. I thought pretty funny if I had that on them with trousers over the tall swimsuit was like a body suit type thing green sequence and I thought it was funny and kind of cabaret but look good and then afterwards one of the other acts message me and said I just want to say that my friend was in the audience tonight and you really inspired her to buy a swimsuit because she didn't WanNa buy some soup for holidays and you're such an inspiration to she. Thought if Debra can do it also the swimsuit so let me a fucking swimsuit inspiration. Yeah I want people look at me and think I can't do that. Why was it no look at the swimsuit go? I would never be able to pull it off. Don't find inspiration in my no. I wanted to have it. What does that mean? Yeah I've been able to let it go. I've not been able to let it go. I'm feminist bus. I saw a cat dressed two two two so that it looks like it had arms coming out of it cites it was like a front only situation like a babe but it looks at the front like the cat is wearing wearing a pink Tutu with point shoes and my first thought was. Where can I get one of those for toast? It's not a feminist outfit. Not Not that balance isn't feminist but to address your cat in. I guess well we have to question the agency of the cat at this point. Yeah does does the CAT WANNA be in sequence toast would no. I'm a feminist but I think top gear in the grand tour. Where are the best television? I've ever seen I genuinely think Jeremy Clarkson and may make the best. Tell you Joe Kendo thank you thank you. I thought I would be a really alone in that like so much okay. I'm a feminist. But if someone was like would you you like to sit down and Rewatch fleabag or the grand tour. GRANDPA I love it. Yeah Yeah Oh no no no no no no no no. I'm not saying it's hotter. I'm not better. I'm not saying it's better than flashback. Because they are completely different things but I am saying as far as entertainment easily consumable television grant towards like Doritos. Just can't get enough from the customer spontaneity shop. That's the best. It Guest Co host Avocados special guest. This is the guilty feminist. The podcast in which we explore on noble goals was twenty-first-century feminists hypocrisies and insecurities which undermine them. I'm I'm Deborah Francis. Mike with me is Gosh. Amman on we're talking about lemonade lemonade. When life she lemons make lemonade? Yup the beyond say album of the same name and I think think that applies to women a lot applies to feminists allot. I was thinking about brexit being such a thing if life she lemons we might have to make celebrity and then I thought who am I. Kidding is if we're going to have access to fresh citrus. We're not GONNA have any. I read something today where they Sainsbury said that. There's going to be like like gaps on the shelves. They're just not gonna be able to get stuff in the brexit well. I was just thinking when it comes to Brexit when life gives you limit your like yeah we have lemons. Yes turned turn. It can't wait when life gives you lemons at least you won't have scurvy is very much the brexit no deal slogan hope. Boris puts it on a bus US going to campaign to say. Hey We got through the blitz. That's basically what is going to be. But I always think because people do say we got through the blitz bursting but we didn't vote for the blitz and if we had accidentally voted for the blades we would have had a second referendum and said. Aw please so I'm saying blitz. I think that should be the new BREXIT HASHTAG DOC is Hashtag nope blitz absolutely so my story in terms of Lemons and lemonade. I think my whole career is actually lemonade. That I've made the lemon of protection. I've talked before about in comedy. The landscape for women up until the last couple of years was ter like January. Terrible that'd mean no individual women had careers lady some did but the overall landscape and the opportunities for women in the mainstream was dying. And I've talked before on the show about emails I received specifically rejecting me on the basis of gender. Saying I won't come and see you on the basis of gender very very specific. But there's a story I have never told before. Aw which is about comedy festival I did in two thousand fourteen. I've been asked if I wanted to do this. Improvise Ation show that they were doing each night so I went along to see it and it was a good show in some ways but there were only men on the stage that night that I saw it on one thing they were doing was getting young women out of the audience though meant to be getting people out of the audience but kept getting young women out of the audience and they would playing status games with them in a way it was part of the format that made me feel uncomfortable comfortable. Because most of the men were in their forties and the women were often students and they didn't have a lot of recourse and I was like. Oh they really need women on stage to to temper this the formats good and there's a lot of strong comedy but it didn't feel that great me so I went backstage afterwards just to say hi to everyone and say well done and one of the guys in the show said to me. Oh are you coming to our show. I hear you're coming to show and I said I'd love to you need more women but I said in a really nice voice like I said really. Oh yeah that'd be great and you need more women. I said like that and the producer who was stunning behind me said what do you mean we need more women. We don't need more women we've got so in so doing it tomorrow night so and so came and did it last night but this was a format that at that time they were one two three four five six people over the evening and the night I was there all six men and what she was saying was there's a woman tomorrow night and there was a woman last night but this is out of six. That's right the producer was a woman all along so I said Oh. I'm just saying there's a smaller pool of women and I run an improvisation show as well which I did at the same festival on. I said we're all looking for women on Weei and she got so angry. She said I don't know why you think you have to have a woman in every show. You don't and I said I'm just saying it's nice. Isn't it's nice presentation for the women in the audience and also you know I was like because it was twenty fourteen like now it would just be like what are you talking about. You should have women to show. But then the landscape was so different. I started apologizing. I'm ashamed this is an. I'm a feminist dot. I'm a feminist. I saw apologizing which is and going. Oh No I wasn't really saying that I was just saying we're all looking for more women aren't we and she got so angry. She just turned her back on me. And I it was like Oh God. I've really offended her. But in my mind I was going. But don't we want more women on the stage. Don't you need more women and so the next day backstage at different different backstage I bumped into that guy again and he said yes. She really didn't take that well and I said I do think it's better if there are women on the stage especially if you're engaging with the audience audience in the way that you are. I don't think it's that controversial to say we need more women in improvisation and the guy who was standing near him. I didn't realize was the director director of the show and he turned around he went a you saying we have to have a woman in every single show. Is that what you're saying you're saying the woman on every bill and I went. Well it's nice to and then he just went and he stormed off and it was just before discuss show and I didn't realize he was directing both shows and I was like. Oh my God. I'm so I went went to find him and again now. I feel really bad that I punched but I went. I'm so sorry I mean you you show. He went whatever and then off towards I would go into the performance by a non non of those people would talk to me like even my friends. who were like you've kind of upset them and I was like but I've said so all I said was it's nice to have more women on a set it in a nice voice and I've apologize? I don't know what else I can do. And you apologize for doing nothing positive. Nothing wrong but I didn't get booked to do that. Show and none of that gang. There was one guy who would still talk to me. It was like do you want me to have a would with them and I was like no no no but the rest of them would just turn their backs. When I walked in literally Shuns Bay and at the end of that festival first of all I remember crying and just saying I'm out of comedy that's it? I can't do this anymore. I don't want to be here because comedy doesn't want me. I'm going to have to go somewhere. That wants me because this is awful. I talked to a few people about it and said I think I'm out like this is the last in a long line of expressive. Even other comedians are going to turn their backs on me for saying this so this was in two thousand fourteen. This is this is two thousand fourteen and a few people said just give it one more year. Just give it one more year. Please don't go please. Don't go give it one more year and the next year sure I started the feminist and of two thousand fifteen now that was after some super bad experiences in two thousand fifteen as well where I kind kind of got so rock Bassem that I went. It's this'll BOSC but do you want you know what I think was great about. It is had comedy being a place where have like compromised enough. They would have let me in. I would have spent the rest of my life compromising and I would have had a compromise to career would have been like if I do this. I kinda fit and let me play. Okay and I see I'm booking jobs and I'm allowed to do some TV. And I can make myself into the shape and I want to spend the rest of my career kind of in this shape you know like but as there was no compromise position for me there it was just like we don't want you and if you're gonNA say one thing about gender we will literally Sean you in the bar. I had to just go home and go if I WANNA stay. I am going to have to imagine you weld and I just lay down on thought. What's feminist comedy Disneyland? Look like what what would comedy look like. If it looks like a place I wanted to be instead of me trying to fit my square peg into their round hole. That now sounds sexual. I didn't mean it to but do you see what I mean so I just went. Okay what would it look like. It looked like the thing I wanted to play. And because I reckon there must be other people who feel like this and so I think the whole of the guilty feminist is just a jug of lemonade of me going. There is nothing for me here so I have to build this. He's from scratch. I just love that. You're rock bottom you got to it and you contemplated leaving but then you went. No I'll just I have a revolution that's easier than leaving. That's freaking awesome. But I didn't I didn't know when I started it was we started at a so I can. I started it in a basement theatre thirty people in the audience. Twenty of whom I could identify by name. I knew twenty names of the ten with their mates they brought along. It was given up and gone. Look all just create the space. I want to be in and if some people want to come to that that's great but honestly I think if there was still thirty to fifty the people regularly coming. I'd probably still be doing it. Yeah still be like with these people want to hear it. Yeah and you never know you never know if in your time I remember Ben. Elton saying that what he wanted to say the most about Margaret Thatcher. It just so happened. He was very lucky that the zeitgeist wanted to hear that and he said if people hadn't wanted to hear what I wanted to say I would have ended up in community theater. I would definitely would have written. He said there were so many talented people but what they have to say is not what the world wants to hear right right now. Do you know what I mean by that. You just have to keep saying you'll truth until it hits Zeitgeist and it may never hit Zeitgeist in your lifetime but I reckon now with PLO costing you can find a small audience who want to hear what you have to say. And if that audience gets bigger great but if it doesn't what does that matter if you are truly really communicating no truth to a small amount of people to be if you'll podcasting and you'll regular getting twenty listeners. That's more than most people you know. Five hundred two years ago had in their village. Do not mean like you'll regularly communicating troops to those people in a Sam riding your little messages. What's wrong with that? I don't know I'm still at a place at my career era of when I sell twenty tickets on my name. I'm like so successful bomb. Okay I don't have to go back to the the mid-west that is not true. You regularly touring doing regular what but on my own name. The tickets are much. Smaller Lake is guilty feminists. So there's a lot of people here and thank you for being here and it's awesome. I love being a part of this. But when we're selling the Apple Goulash months show who is a tricky L.. Okay maybe it's going to say if I booked any man to be in this seat which I wouldn't but if I did if I did they would never say a by the way you wouldn't come and see me unless we were here they would not. I didn't mean to come off like that guys I I I'm GONNA sell yourself like a male stand up. Comedian who's been going half the time. It is half as good as you. Okay let me get it into character. Deborah I heard you sold out this Spiegel tent and then you also did or Royal Albert Hall all this. Yeah I was going to but then I thought Asu much work but I probably do for three or four nights sold out no problem. Hallo guilty feminists debra briefly interrupting podcasting to say. Thank you so much to incredible audiences in Manchester and Dublin. This last last week who absolutely brought a rock concert to a podcast recording. I wanted to let you know that I just saw Hannah Gadsby showed Douglas is an absolute route marching sequel to net. You have to see it and it is also coming to Dublin on the seventeenth of November. It's going to be at the Board Gosh Theatre in Dublin and you can get tickets now at board Gush Energy Theater Dot. I don't Miss. It will sell out other places. Hannah kinda got speeds coming to include Manchester Glasgow. Brighton Australia. All over it a New Zealand pretty much everywhere go to Hannah. Gadsby DOT COM dot a U and get tickets. As AP it really is an incredible show. I am doing a show with Emma Thompson. Greg Wise Catamaran Bill Bailey Amelie clock. From game of thrones Steve Allee and more. It's going to be an incredible evening. It's in celebration of the book. Glossed Christmas all the proceeds from the book are going to the Refugee Council and crisis and a half the proceeds of the show. We're going to be talking about people's Christmas. Christmas is going to be warm. It's going to be cozy. It's going to be lovely emigrated merely just made a film called last Christmas. It's just going to be lovely. Lovely cozy warm gorgeous celebration and and a Stephen is reading our stories. Please please come along. You're going to have a gorgeous time if you are in Manchester. Thank you for receiving so with the guilty feminist but we're going to be back on the third of December. That's how much we love Manchester with the secret. Policeman's toll the amazing comedy brand. We have revived arrived. With Amnesty International. We will be at the Palace theatre third of December Bridget Christie Jillian Stevenson susie Russell shop because sandy a many more for Glorious and riotous night for human rights all the proceeds go to amnesty. We'll be talking about it on the night as well as doing a remarkable amount of incredible comedy everything from reviving old monty python sketches with a brand new twist to people's exceptional comedy sets. You won't want Cammisa. I'm hosting out on the sixth of December Friday six thirty PM in London at Gower Street. waterstones there's an evening let's ever Francis White. That's me. Tickets are fifteen pounds. Include a copy of the guilty feminist book with a snazzy sexy new cover never before seen and a glass loss of wine now if you have the book already please come along anyway because it makes a great Christmas present and I will sign it for your friend so please please please come along for that now. Many of you tried to get tickets for me and Phoebe WanNa Bridge in conversation at the Royal Festival Hall in December. Now I know there was a massive demand and and lots of people missed out so waterstones are doing up prize draw. You could still be in the running. Follow them on twitter and get involved and and if you can't come to the live event. The fleabag scriptures are available on preorder now and they are going to be absolutely delicious now. If you live in the United United States of America or Canada we are coming at you. The guilty feminist podcast is coming. We're going to be in Boston on the second we're going. It'd be a New York City on the fourth and a fifth world coming to Chicago Philadelphia. Seattle San Francisco Los Angeles Toronto Vancouver and maybe more maybe less amount. Don't go to the website and see. We're also coming to Australia. We're coming to Sydney becoming to Melbourne Brisbane. The Gold Coast where. We've never been before Auckland. Wellington and Christchurch. We've never been to Wellington Christchurch before and we're doing that between the seventh and the twenty second of February to find out the exact dates and book go to guilty feminist dot com and you can see precisely wearing one more coming in America Canada Australia and New Zealand. It's a massive global tool for us. So please please please get your tickets now. And don't miss out. We can't wait to come and finally the choose love love help. Refugees shop is opening in Is Opening in the West End. I will be there along with some other. Comedians that you know and love on Friday Friday the twenty Nineth at eight. Am and I will put the address on our website also be on the help refugees website soon but if you are someone who could get to the West End on the twenty ninth of November at eight am and you could come for the opening. That would be really something you could do for help refugees and she's love because if there's a big cuter and there's lots of comedians there the press will come out so you'd be doing so so much for the 'cause I've just been out in the camp and Lesbos and if you were there you'd want to do anything you could to help. I'm GonNa tell you more about that on upcoming costs but for now if any possibility of you put in twenty nine th of November in the the diary eight. Am to come along and be there for that initial choose love opening. It's going to be a really wonderful celebration. It's going to be so much fun on and we just absolutely love to have you there and meet you in person. Okay back to the PODCAST Please welcome to the. Oh my God thank you guys so much this has been really great and what is the to talk about how much they like grand tour. It really means a lot that you've heard it and I can't wait. Wait for the angry tweets to come through when this goes out on record but Yes making limbs out of lemonade. The Way I do is I just take awkward bullets. I've talked about him on stage and when people laugh I'm like gay now. It's embarrassing anymore. for instance. I recently got a wax. And we're GonNa talk about it fun fact. I went and I gotTa Wax on International Women's Day I did and as I. It was walking there. I was like I don't know if this is the day for this. I don't know if I should be doing this. And I went in and I got the wax X and then like I don't really talk to the beautician. Too much like I'm not a real Gabbert because trying not to cry and and at the end of it she thinks she goes. Is this a special day for you and I was like I was like what International Women's Day again. It's a special day for me too and I was like. Oh I did the right thing but but it's a weird thing we're doing to ourselves ladies. It's not good. It's not bad but it is weird because every time you go into the beautician. They're always trying to upsell you. You know you never go in the first day Abi and take it all off. I wanted to look like a raw chicken. That's not what you say. You're not make it look like a baby rat bald possibly disease. Can you do that. Aw and men in the audience. I don't want to discount you because it is twenty nineteen. I know you guys are escaping as well men. You do it differently because we're women I'm in we go to professional and we paid to have that done you. DIY that shit go to boots you buy yourself a bottle of Vit and you give yourself chemical burns all over your body. Nothing making love to a man who looks like a freshly peeled grapefruit. Yes keys but is a weird thing we're doing and I lived in New York for ten years when to the same woman every time for wax and she never remembered my face which is hurtful because I feel like we had been through something and one time I went in and I tell she didn't recognize me and she goes. We'll take off your trousers and lay on the table and I did and and you looked at my vagina and just 'cause I remember you and to be fair. I know why I do 'cause I started to get wax when I was twenty nine and was twenty and I'm thirty three now. What you look older thank you? It's the booze and that applause. Her somewhere within these thirteen years. I've started to go bald on the middle of Mike China. I realize we just met but this is visual. I need you to picture it. I'M NOT GONNA NOT GONNA show you. It's not a show but I need you to pick it as a pound size patch of baldness in the middle of my Volvo so if you look down from above it looks like the top of a pious monk tat. It's actually. It's given me a whole new outlook on many shave. Their heads going bald. You know because I always used to make fun of them and now I just got him and I'm like respect brother. Same try different reservation. Could it's true every time you go in there trying to upsell you try and take off a little more. Do a little more one time. I went in and she took off. The front is usual shoes. Like oh would you like me to do the backside. Oh that's silly and she's like but then you'll have a matching set and I was. That's a good point. She goes okay rollover and assume the position and if you don't know what the position is forgetting your butthole wax what it is. Is You lie on your stomach and you spread your own but cheeks for them to wax. Uh so you get to participate. It's a team effort. It's quite vulnerable position to be in with someone in ever remembers your face and the reason why I'm explaining it in such graphic detail is because a lot of women get this done on a regular basis and a and maybe some of you don't get it done or dating someone who gets it done. You have no clue what's going on. That is procedure so whenever they get home from you get down on your knees and you kiss it you so your appreciation because trauma has been had and love is data at aw. I rolled over and I assumed the position and she took the hot lacks. She put it on my whole. I went to very prestigious acting school. New York's very perfect. I've been very high whole lot of people. Don't know that about me for those listening at home. I'm waxing way too nice. But she put hot wax on my whole and then she went. Okay some of you has looked at me like yes aunt. No she blew on my whole. Did you miss that she blew onto my butthole. She went she did twice. Why she she was like she was on? Sorry I'm sorry. The waxed hot wax to like no. Everything's fine. Everything's fine because I didn't know how to tell her that I just wanted to my butthole sexual place attracted to forty year. Old Corpulent Polish women but fucking Olga was ringing my bell. I went to Australia to do comedy because my career is going better than you think is there to get a wax and the woman heard of my show and she's like oh I'm GonNa come to that show and I was like I love you to come and if you do just you you know. Have this story about getting waxed and only bring it up. Because it's weird thing that happened. I don't want you to think I made it up about you. And she was like what did happen and I told her about. She just looks at me and goes. That's not normal. Broke my heart because I've been waiting for years for that to happen again and that is how I made lemonade out of that limits. More stand up you know or your lover is the wonderful Deborah Francis. Why so? This isn't the STANDUP I was GONNA do. One Hundred Alkali thought right. I'm I'M GONNA make different lemonade out of the same lemons. That's right by friends. That's right it's gotta be like a waxing bake off first first time I ever had. Anything waxed was my legs. I was going on a holiday and thirty. Nice not to shave them and I heard you how to grow them long. I grew them for so so long like I was like six weeks. They were like they could plot them and and I went and I was like okay wax them and it hurt so much sh that I was screaming so loudly that they asked me a lady came in pop to head around and said could you keep it down. You'll frightening our other clients true story that actually happened. I didn't go back then for ages. You know something. I fell into a waxing situation. I've discovered avid. Actually the best time to get waxed drunk much like having a tattoo because it takes the pain away. It's true. I only know this because once I had one of those office Christmas lunches and then was going away for Christmas so off to the office Christmas lunch I went into a waxing pilot. Absolutely smashed. Didn't asshole and I was thinking I might start up. A chain of waxing cocktail baas Cole's hair of the dog. My friends I once had a fight with Alexa was she was down there because she was just wax everywhere. There was bits coming off in different. It looks it looks like a war zone. It was just awful and I I saw. This isn't normal. No this suspect there was blood I was like no. This is a normal but then she had to finish it off. The We'd had an argument. There is nothing worse than somebody in your Vagina ripping bits hot wax off your genitalia. After you've had an argument with them if you're British 'cause the awkwardness of that and the thing is it was only by going for wax that I realized I was British because I it was born and raised in Australia. But I've lived in Britain on my grown up so you never know how straight anywhere and how precious you out. But this is the day that I found out. I'm definitely British because I was in Australia. Anna pumped in for a wax just sort of tidy up. That's all I ever had was dislike Itani Ob- and I said to the lady would you just. She said what do you want. Do you want a president. I said owner WanNa just just tidy up so so anything outside the pants. I don't want that there and she went. Oh Yeah you don't want Koalas. I said you don't some people. People might like qualities. There's nothing wrong with but I didn't want them so I climbed up. This lady was ripping wax off and doing her thing then she went all. It's not very straight on this song. I'm just GONNA I'm just kind of taken even at all. And then she went off on a bit more side. Now I'm just GonNa even on the other side. It looks a bit odd now because I'm going to have to take it from underneath now to be honest to it's going to be much fuller Dan up there and you don't want that just toddy a bit more. Actually that's not right now a bit more on just two more just a bit more until eventually this is true. She looked down and went. Sorry love I'm going to have to charge you for the full Brazilian the new British because I paid and I tipped her which is a bit like paying someone to talk to your house coming home. Finding they've robbed the place blinds paying extra because admittedly there is no clutter. I've done a great job with the tidying. This nothing left in your flat. That's by waxing. lemonades I know the idea of starting a salon called hair of the dog is like a joke. But also moneymaker maker is a real idea right there. I really with all your free time. Yeah I think you know if anybody wanted to stop a guilty feminist waxing Salaam with me called hair of the dog I get in touch. Owner can fully fund it and do all the work. I will be the face of it. You know I mean I won't I won't just to be clear. Don't alright. Are we ready for our guest. I guess today is certainly somebody who has made an awful lot of lemonade out of lemons. She is the founder of Gifford's circus. It is currently undergoing a lifelong treatment for Motassedeq brisk concept. Please welcome to the stage. The incredible now give them the so. Now tell us. That's what made you want to create a circus. Because you do these spectacular Gloria circuses. Could you tell us what made you want to do. Hey this well. I joined the sex eighteen in America and basically my momma just had a really bad accident and she was in hospital in a coma that she was never really gonna come out and I went to join the circus. And let's see I just fell in love with it. I fell in love with the people. And the life and the touring and the tents and. I just has decided that in that that that was going to be best. My life was the circassian basically has been so you run away into a circus basically basically yes. Yeah and your mom fell from the host so this is a really brave thing to do because you use horses seconds yes so I think it's sort of like manage risk and I. I love horses and the teacher of them and it doesn't feel like I'm so challenging fate by working his. I kind of call link the show show to the wholesome among Phillips and then he has so much disaster since. Then there's more disaster to be reacting. Do so yeah I see that but it's an incredible thing to go go from running away to join the circus. Eighteen and thinking right. This is going to be my life to being somebody who creates the whole image of the circus and the look of it and the story of it basically the circus is kind of is the thing that I would like to see by the side of the road. If I was driving along with my mom and Dad I'll be like ten with horses and Caravans An. It's the thing that I would most like to see. It is kind of like my own little world and it's sort of like a living painting as well it's like living in a painting. Yes that's a really beautiful way of putting it and to address because I know that you have an incredible respect for your hosts an amazing working relationship with them and you have also have a farm where you take in animals who needs to be looked after so no you have an incredible relationship with your animals but I just I want to address it in case any wondering about the animal rights situation. Okay so yeah we have. We have dokes chickens and sometimes we rehome. Animals went through this phase of working with dogs. That was rehoming so to spotty horses to have have Dalmatians in the show. So I found some Dalmatians the Internet that were like adult dogs at key puppies and then they would just been catching the backyard. Awed and people just want to read them. They didn't name them. They didn't walk them. Love them and they're just like take the hundred year find so we took these dogs and train them all summer in the circus. We name them taught him the names train them so that they did just runoff which they did to start with taken outside a small backyard and then I found amazing homes like family homes for these dogs and I just saw this is like the Internet is fool of hundreds of thousands of overgrown puppies. Just being Chuck Todd. How mazing that we take the train them in the circus of every year in the circus and then we can be home them because we have thousands of people coming to see the show? So we're connecting with families so we can is not going to be so hard for us to find them good homes and I just felt like that is just so ethical rate and positive and what an amazing circus training like. That's kind of using the skills that we've got training animals. But when I put it up on the Internet like these dogs need to be re homes. I just had like this massive trolling people saying. Oh you should send those two dachshunds uh-huh still should be returned zones and then I just kind of realized a kind of Avalanche Mountain Ocean prejudice towards. What's the word circus animals? And so I kind of just couldn't takeaways people on but you know with people that were with animals and they have to live like in that caravans right side around moves so they can hear if they're upset in the night they travel with them. They were with they give. The animals took particular. Who says like kind of purpose and a meeting and a working life and there is nothing that I see what they do? That's cruel and I just. Sometimes I just feel like I'm in this kind of prism of prejudice and so like you saying the way that that that pet psychic the you say. Sometimes people like have their dog on a lead and they've constructed the dog and the dog sort of running. This doesn't want to go with a person's going and that as soon synagogues a pet we it's fine but actually the way that many circus people interact with the dogs have to have a professional very coach relationship with the dog so they have a greater understanding of how the doak feels than a regular pet owner. Might right I mean but that's not to say like ulcer dog owners about the new non circus dog owners. It's just such a enormous cruelty in some circuses. Absolutely has can we just back up for a second. You said you had chickens out. What type of act does a chicken doing a circus? I genuinely have no idea. As are they just on the farm or do you have chickens. The circus circus. This is exciting and they are very much. We had one chicken the just around the ring really slowly. I could do that if you need someone to stand for the chicken if the chickens having a bad day I can walk in and advocate always always looking for a gig never failing to get one so yeah I just wanted to address that because I know that you do have this very loving relationship with your animals. But you're somebody who's had a diagnosis. This is of cancer and this has happened a number of times and you have kept on working in creating. How have you managed to do that? So breasts come two thousand fifteen another breast cancer two thousand sixteen and then the next year seventeen knows with Spread of Press Council Boden Imagine this year it was spread to the lymph and liver so having chemo at the moment. But the thing is I had chemo had so much. Chemo's radio so much concert in a way it's become thoughts of my life so it's not like I'm never going to get better. IV cancer the forever. I will die of cancer so I'm not going to escape it and he's pretty shit like I'm not saying that. Oh that's nothing. Oh nothing of terminal cancer. Chemotherapy therapy. Yeah it's really. It's really tiff. My children who've had to see me lose my head three times and they've had to adjust themselves to that but so if you have cancer then it's not like a thing about cancer is bad like there's some actually could side getting like go on So me is I gave up so I used to. Most of my life is basically hangover management for cancer. Mine is right now. It's GonNa take this off because I'm so Yeah that's overheats Things while that's great thing about cancer but yeah so I gave up drinking being this whole other part myself to start to develop the had been hidden by hangover management. And so. Since I've got cats I started painting loads. I've rebuilt the circus. I got divorced and like I really kind of light making light of it but making talk of it as well and I've met amazing people like really amazing people like my uncle is just one of the most out that dedicated like kind of Roche Isley committed to his work. Like what was it. Relies comes to sex. But usually when I I'm just other criminal road I'm just seeing a patient Sunday morning. It's like ever stop working. And he says Oh. I do have family but I have my career. It's about the patients that he lives his whole life for his patients and for advancing comfort diagnosis and treatment so that he could save lives. It's like it's so amazing when somebody here so there are good sites to come sir. You've not really. This is not say anyone. Some people do works. Some people do change track and dot is completely valid. And you don't know how you might feel x months down the line but you've kept on building and kept on creating. Has that been difficult or is it being something you've wanted to do when I saw this extras. At my mom was home in a coma she just had this horrific acts the whole family is falling apart and the circus was kind of a thing. I could look tinted future. It's like that's what I'm going to kind of see the circus in the future go towards is it and it still functions as that so I'm not saying like the last four years of really really hard and I had a massive breakdown that lasted six months and didn't actually actually think is going to be able to live outside of cat and like a proper attracted. Every time I try to stand up for. Frying pixellated is is like shaking all over unable to some not saying it'd be like oh I've got consolations everything's fine we'll just carry but it's in those really rubbish Bush rubbish rubbish dog read this days. It was like okay. Just get through to lunch. Get through till T- and let's just take one day at a time but I think that the circus and just kind of projecting food and continuing to try to put one step in front of another. That's how I get through it but I have a lot of people that helped me in a lot of support and an amazing. You know like amazed the circus if I go home efforts. Please by saying circuses. So loud noisy lights go out on this trip. Sometimes it's a very volatile environment rain. Windy like at the moment the guys Kaiser home like holding onto the ten keep it blowing way and is a volatile environment but I so much rather be that than like sitting at home anyway. He lost the people can get cancer. So if you just go if you become sedentary like this is what I think. There's a guy in the circus who's got a one of riding fighting treat partially. He's like a young teenager he's got down syndrome but he's spent his whole life touring with the circus and his brothers and sisters are all gymnasts. So that's what he does. All Day is physical training weights. Gymnast this guy is amazing like he can backward. Somersault he can. I'm delighted Diangelo Chuckling. Kind of thing. Do you think actually other down syndrome kids that nobody is taking the time to give them physical training than a lot of way. You end up if you do that. You know your pilots coordination his ballots coordination agree. And I kind of feel feel like that with my I could just kinda sit home. I would make myself. I could make myself more ill in a way. It's not just your identity if you sat at Home it was like oh I just have cancer. That's all you're thinking about is the cancer whereas you've gone in you've created this whole like literally created a whole world. Yeah Ah actually we were talking earlier like living with it because it is like a twin-track through private sector treatment so I'm getting toasted like two three times a week nick but often go in as a weight. Even in the private sector's wait chemotherapy. Wait for the trucks like wait for these kind of plastic clear bikes of chemicals like literally other. Chemo's not here yet. It's like the Chemo. Hasn't arrived yet. Is arriving this afternoon. Hopefully and then. Sometimes it doesn't arrive. You just have to go home and it's going to arrive day later and there's like the whole systems really straining because there's so many people that need it so there's a lot of people that have it and there are a lot of people that perhaps as we know who maybe we don't know that they have it because they haven't said anything and there might be people you're working with who have but you've said things of sort of almost become a more magical lately that you've had it's because you've had a prognosis something back saying she was saying it's almost like more magical. You've become more hyper aware. Is that something something about life and death and suddenly understanding something about life and death. Maybe I don't know maybe I didn't have that much of self awareness to know what it is. uh-huh United States completely intoxicated by life and by the Creative Act. Like I think is a lot to do with giving up drinking king like the circus isn't a Bible. You can really both ends of the CONDO. Lewis stand up comedy always somebody awake. Always somebody having a drink. Yeah and he's he's like a plot. Give us a cheer if you have a job where people drink too much here. If you're in an industry where you think it's easy to drink gives us a chair. If you're in an issue it is not easy to drink one man. He's very happy about it. That's an alert. I'm I'm so here I have a question when you're talking about how things have become more like intoxicating for you now. Is there something that you maybe didn't consider too much. I took advantage of before in now is like a precious now. You look at it in a different light. Yeah completely nutley thing like like the is a good thing to have like the awareness of dying in your life every day because we all GonNa die rather not spend like I get annoyed with sometimes. We'll talk if you like to have a meeting about something exciting. But then everyone's Kinda chatting about how they got there and enforce traffic chairman. I'm just like just just Takata's let's like. Let's just sit here and boy each other because we've really haven't got that much time and we all GonNa die soon so but maybe that's like the classic GonNa Terminal For those cliches like I really do not want to waste any time a moment. I bought myself a Jacuzzi. Traveling Jacuzzi defied. It's so hot stove. Traveling case Yes yes. I want one of those school. Too Lazy Spa it was like two hundred pounds and it's really easy to set up a new have hot. Tea degrees bubbling both of resumes. I don't know if this questions route but you you mentioned being terminal. Is there a chance that you'll come out on the other side of this though this is me out on the other side of it basic. Okay like everyone's like oh you in the clear but is much complicate. Life you had one cancer could have a scam. That was showed me if I've like one council A. B. If there was what would you do about it like you wouldn't have like Chemo together into one cancelable anything so in a way. It's such a mysterious disease because because it is you can't separate yourself from the disease because it's your genetic. Coding is the disease cancer is you are really profound and that so as hi what was saying about not wanting to fight because as we say like the notion of fighting European genes genetic makeup. It's just way too exhausting. But no I'm not gonNa uh-huh never will be without Could go for scan and that could be complete remission as it. Nothing showing that pet scan but that's effective. Ah Good strokes that knock it back. They'll grow again. I see okay. Thank you for answering my question. In the meantime you're creating incredible circus. Do you sometimes think that because women have a fight with quality and there are other people in society who will fight find. Do you think with some times better at going. There are going to be obstacles. There are GONNA be Lemons. My default position is making lemonade. Do you think that's something you've experienced in your life that you know how to turn bad stuff into good stuff well. He learned quite a lot of time turning bad stuff in worse stuff but I kind of do that anymore mold because I'm enjoying myself too much to make bad stuff anymore and I also my children like I don't want them to have about stuff. I had my being radio and everything getting really rubbish at home although liberty actually been through that but I kind of want to make good for them Like make it right for them having too much fun to go into the whole self destruct mode before so much so I mean women are really tough. We sold a lot and I think that we have a kind of really nuanced approach coached business and team building. That's about building families the in. I think I'm really good at my job. Yeah can you tell us if we would like to go and see Gifford's circus where where we can do that. So you can circus circus in the world neck summa. See it from London back but it's all gifted. Circuses is like Barron Lima taste but it's basically the swollen. I don't get so give. Tax cuts the cuts stunning. So take a weekend went out. We definitely come and see us an amazing circuses. People jumping on like doing somersaults from the host country around in a circle. It's got a five. If peace amazing is got incredible human like the toy with is like a hospice people banging their heads on the seat of laughter like falling cooling-off and it really is like we'll say like the best in the world is people laughing screaming at the same time and says enacting that where people laugh and scream but like seven minutes continuous. You did two shows today before you came here right or you're still performing. It did two shows this morning Tomorrow Move Wow. I look up at noon. Innate Tater tots not not. We're leading different lives. I feel like you've been through a lot and you've built a lot and you've loved a lot and you've created a lot and you live with such a wonderful philosophy. Do you have any advice for life for us or anybody. No pressure it doesn't it doesn't have to be good advice stats clear. Do you have anything that you'd like to share with us that you think you know this is what you should know. Never pick a fight. Sort of my pieces supervised Book not helped me so much of the circus world. I think I'm a bit evangelical about the drinking thing because I just feel like I wasted so so much time with hangovers. And then I took that away and it's like this kind of explosion of color in my head somehow. It's like don't waste time. Yeah I think that's my advice is just not going to waste. Time is precious. It and I think when you get a diagnosis you suddenly realize how precious it is but none of us know how long we've got left and so we you need to be using the time that we have to make the world a Kinda richer fairer more compassionate place and more magical place. Yeah exactly he likes us because he is so amazing because people. I'm not very good at talking about politics. I just find the whole division is like if we were in the circus and we. We shouldn't be dividing ourselves. That's what I love about. The circus is that the most politically polarized people is incredibly diverse. It's almost like I mean you could say this is kind of a little social experiment of let's all these assassination warrior Patriarchal Mountain wanted man. We can make some up with like east and the students we can and mix them up with like human dart's like it's so diverse and you've got so many immediate barriers which is culture religion language. It's like eighteen different languages on the circus this season. Listen all those people they come together. So let's I just feel like Doh devised this. What I so come together? Don't waste time. Drink less they used big three if you did those things for the next pick a fight. Don't feminism is a bit of a fine. Don't picking small. I think we get so. I'm picking small fights. Yeah don't mean anything don't matter and we waste time. I'm not generally because we've had too many drinks so it all comes background is what I'm saying. Yes is there anything you have to plug. I'm going on tour in the fall with my show. Do you know who I think I am. And I'm nine and Yeah I'd love for you guys to come. Obviously did it in London. Probably do it again in London. Also follow me. My Socialist Abigail is so if you can spell it you can find me. Go and see Gifford's circus if you can next year it's touring back around the UK. Nell you are true inspiration and what you're doing is absolutely incredible and thank you for making our world a little more magical Oh and more hopeful now given the special ability for abusive hall. He's supposed to shop title everyone to Buddy Festival as this thing. It is so much you guys. You've been wonderful. I we the voters. That's how show wonderful example of how cool my mom took her to the Edinburgh fringe once for the first time so I was like what twenty three ten years ago and I was nine nine years old and I took it all these burlesque. LS shows. I was like Oh my gosh. This is so edgy. And like at that time I was like aggressively talking about sex on stage and I was so edgy. And she came to all my shows and she's he's like yes. I know you know you you get very excited about all of all of this stuff and all this sex stuff and you. You know you haven't done anything that I haven't already done. Oh how you for validity Kramer. Mom do her own mom Jodi. That's such a Meta Yamada. Hello guilty feminists. It's Jessica Regan here. I'm announcing our final big speeches of the year. Two Thousand Nineteen we are coming to Brighton to the Mara Theater. On Sunday the seventeenth of November. We love to see some bright and guilty feminists there. You've made the trip to London. Now we're coming to you. Please go to the website W._W._w.. DOT GUILTY FEMINIST DOT com slash big speeches to book your place.