2 Episode results for "Jim Nikki"
115 - You Too Can Barbecue - Stubb's Blues Cookbook Cassette & More
"Radio. Welcome to the kitchen sisters present. We're the kitchen sisters, Dave Nelson, and Nikki Silva, the kitchen sisters present is supported by sun basket, healthy cooking, made easy organic produce cleaning greediest and delicious recipes delivered weekly straight to your door. Sun basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh organic produce and responsibly sourced meats and seafoods. Everything is pre-measured and easy to proud. You can get a healthy and delicious meal on the table in as little as fifteen minutes. Sun basket has wonderful dishes shrimp pad Thai with rice noodles and sugar snap peas or fresh fettuccini Primavera with creamy Fateh sauce. If you're watching your carbs and finding it difficult to cook delicious nutritious meals. This is the meal plan for you full of fiber, rich, vegetables and quality proteins. There are paleo gluten-free lean and clean vegan Mediterranean, diabetes friendly and more go to sun bass. Skit dot com slash kitchen. Sisters to get up to eighty dollars off. That's basically getting dinner on the table for less than nine dollars a serving for your first four weeks. Visit sun basket dot com slash kitchen. Sisters to get up to eighty dollars off today. People's I want you to sell it back relaxed jet for awhile. Ladies and gentleman. This program is coming to you live. Right out of the body. Got a very special thing here today on the kitchen sisters presented. We're talking about barbecue. This is the legendary Texas pit master step Stubblefield from his blues cookbook cassette. You know, they tell me that Columbus discovered America. Now, you're going to get an opportunity to make this stuff. And you ain't gonna happen. The ocean across ladies and gentlemen, quitting to term and who worked for stub in Austin in the nineteen eighties. When stub I started marketing his barbecue sauce out of his kitchen. He take Jack Daniels bottles steam off the label and put his own on it along with your bottle of sauce. He'd sometimes get a cassette copy of stubs audio cookbook featuring step backed up by the legendary Jesse Taylor on guitar. Program is finished. You too can say I am a cook. We went to dancing. Remember what we tell you? We're going to go without a numbers. We don't bear with full reloads sausage when maybe are in Texas gathering stories for hidden kitchen series. It didn't take long for just about every story to come back around to barbecue burger. Here's some perspective from one of our favorite, Texas writers, Joe, Nick Petoskey. My name is Joe Nick Petoskey in. I've been writing about Texas for the last thirty five years the way we cook goes back to this idea of digging a hole in the Graham, which is really our connection to the agents are Texas kitchens are not so much hidden, but out in the open that usually means a picnic table, and at the very least a cut in half forty gallon barrel, maybe on stilts, maybe not even digging holes and ground. That's something to all the heritage ethnic groups of Texas Mexican American African American and Anglo American shared that train of doing that. When they cook their mate, we do it outdoors mainly because the heat. Band. I'll done loan and save my so get that by U N eat my pill. Come back home pain bay. When we have how we we get silly shoulder. Make bid pan. Whoa. Mom ain't antiques. After the civil war. There were slaves picking cotton anymore. This army of cotton pickers would descend on Texas as many as four hundred thousand hot and pickers would move in a swarm starting in the lower Rio Grande valley and moving north as the cotton ripened mostly from Mexico. Lot of them lack during the depression, some of them poor whites Oki's as they call them when they got to German towns like Lockhart and Algan the number of cotton pickers was equal to the population of the entire town. They weren't welcome in restaurants. So where were they going to eat and in the German towns, they went to the meat market, while the cotton pickers walking into German meat markets, all the smoke meat and said, hey barbecue, and they supplemented that meal with crackers pickles. Onions, they'd go sit on the. Steps. Eat the stuff on the spot. They don't put it on a plate and give you a fork just put it on a piece of paper, and we think of this as some kind of German tradition, but the truth is without the cotton pickers. There wouldn't have ever been the demand for this mass production of smoke me. I'm rob Walsh food critic for the Houston press. And I write cookbooks about Texas. I was chocking down the street number one day one of my. My God like who decides speak? So I opened the door down in then a look across the car and saw the bad is bad. I ever say stop the price which about barbecue and music, you knew if he wanted to hang out while you're kinda people you got stub Chia bunch of picker jets. You know, it's like camel till watering hole and eat love mutations lose a kind of an archangel. I think what he was. That's what he was never been the same. And I'll never forget the man, and I'll never forget the name. It was the. Uncomedic I'll Gilmore and love it. The very first van that I ever played in was Jesse Taylor and John Reid and Joe Ely and TJ McFarland Jesse blues guitar player. Hey was living over in east Lubbock Lubbock very segregated even now and one day he was hitch-hiking and this big huge black man stopped picked him up. It was stubbed Stubblefield. He had a barbecue joint tiny little dive over there in Jesse started hanging out with stuff, and they just became close, friends and stub had the best jukebox in the world. And how often Bobby blue bland? You know, Latin hoffy is truly wonderful. See we have a bowl and get up. Good at some point Jesse said stub could I bring a few my friends over here and play some music is unusual for a white kid. A black man become close friends. My name is Sharon eighty and I was born in Lubbock, Texas. And then I migrated down to Austin with my husband, Joe ily. Don Colwell would come and play his horn stubs barbecue Terry Allen started coming down. Yeah. Plan and Stevie rive on even muddy waters and Tom t hall, Johnny cash, and all these people I never forget when Linda Ronstadt came, and we took her over to stab since she went and steps kitchen in the back in her little white phthalate reading the slippers and walked through the most barbecue sauce in crested floor. I've ever seen. Stabs was born in Navidad, Texas in his father was a Baptist preacher and stubs used to cook. In the army. He knew how to cook for lots of people. He had this deep beautiful voice just exuded love. And he would get up initially, ladies and gentlemen on. He was stubborn. I'm a cook. Oggy? Well, he was generous to everybody, but he was generous to musicians, and it provided a focal point heaven the place to get together and space around food. It's best around the love of these people for each other. And the end the kitchen announced is the kitchen is the place. Everybody gets together. Stabs would go around to all the different honky counts where all of you guys were playing and he would invite all the musicians over for Sunday dinner. He would go back to his little place in cook like Turkey and dressing, and he would sleep on top of his pool table, we'd find him asleep. The next day when all the musicians would come over and they're sunglasses. You know, stubs would actually have stayed up on cooking. He'd do that over and over again, just free. You know, he was always. Saying I want to feed the world in Lubbock, Texas, the other night and beer and about half tight me and Paul and Jim and again aimed Al we were growing pictures and writing songs sitting there talking before to wrong, Paul Ted will to move this party over the stub. I'm Tom t hall, and I'm strong later country music singer. We had an organization we call the IRS idiots. Rescuing stubs once in a while stubs would go out of innocent, and we'd all get together and raising money and putting them back in business Willie in this club and Waylon and people hung around Texas being stub first of all he had zero business since now mining. Yes, everybody tried to help him in. Eventually we got him to make some barbecue sauce in the kitchen. And then we take it out and sell it to help us all the way from Austin, Texas is CB Stubblefield known as. Stubs all stop. My husband Joey was invited to go sing on David Letterman. And then may got stuff's could come and cook barbecue, he prepared it on stage. How did you become interested in the the science the art the fun of barbecuing longer? My dad stay. Yeah. Eventually stuck ended up coming to Austin, a got his own club, which still continues, and as one of the main music venues here you now it's been long enough that some of the young people that work there, then stub wise. It's really great to kind of revive the memo. I never had any stuff. Great friends. I love him like a brother, but I never told him that I would've vegetarian I go around you from Brad and being, but it would just one stop this year that teaches the lesson if some. The brave day. In phases and stages. Circles and cycles seeds. On scene for my name is be spears play bass with Willie Nelson band started in nineteen sixty eight. When I was little bitty kid. I cooked a an Armadillo out in our Ford hungry accidentally shot a survey or hiding from the low why was raised very poor. And we had some little baby chickens and chicken scratch was like three cents a pound. These sparrows gland and eat all our chicken feed. And my brothers told me I had set on ground and shoot my dad's twelve gauge didn't see surveyors shot and the guy with the transit level screened, and my brother told me so you killed ING. I was dead man at six I was going to the electric chair in mind. So they sent me into exile. And I was out there for about two days. Eating armadillos. We were raised in between. Hello to sin Bandera. It's it's nothing there. We lizards sticks and rattlesnake I was hungry. Heck, I was nine years old for that beans, what meet my mother had Alzheimer's disease when it was first kicking down dad had a garden, and I was saying wow, dad, you sure got a beautiful gardens. Yeah. I've got a poll beings out there, and I've got peppers and some coal Robbie in my mother's going Korn. Tell them about the corn. I remember corn. My dad just kinda roll this is they say, yeah, we got some carrots out there. Spins corn Sam tell them about the corn kinda shake his head. Yeah. We got some radishes and cucumber. I remember corn. And he turned out looked at any said about the corn at the HEB me. Me said that wasn't a corn plan out there. So now, we get on the bus ie making Makino every year. Do we remember corn? If you can't remember corn and your bus. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, pride. Non we? Go vote through the main thing about cooking barbecue. And good barbecue. You got the have something to cook it on that. A barbecue pit, ladies and gentlemen. It's kind of like a beautiful woman. Picked the one you Bank. It's the most beautiful. Grab Gertie of Mela Monroe as long as it's yield. Seconds of that latest gentleman's the wood. Mosquito. Back into that is old. Remote? Would you can't find anymore? Hickory hickory is something that's almost the thing of the past like the Maltese fold next time. You're gonna talk about me. Very important that you know, what kind of. What as bug me? You know? You cannot it's up to chicken pork chop to. Beef beef Turkey Turkey for you have to have the right thing in mind, and believe me, you need to have the right thing in mind when you're making preparations for food. It's very important that you have everything you need. Right. Where you got it, right. In the pit area. You got your meat all cut up pay next time. We're gonna go to here. We're gonna built the chicken. Comedy thing. You find cooking a barbecue pit in home. It's chicken oppa for cooking chicken cut in half this way. You don't have all the little pieces food put the chicken on you have to watch. It. You have to love what you've done you have to have seen for what you. You have to really understand good set of highs and a good good set of. Beans to barbecues like, teen, Texas and Dion Dallas, they go together. Put them on pod watching. Sure, you got the rock and all that other stuff. Fat tack. And. Fail. They'll salt and ten dollars. Member Potter, garlic, masking, messin, whatever you decide. This out. You don't have. Things that it's declared delicious to your barbecue. One thing about being you got the the hydrate. The new gas out of going to get it all through the house at night one. Baking soda move out. All that easy sleep comfortable of night won't. Box. The kitchen sisters present this produced by the kitchen sisters with Nathan Dalton and brandy help mixed by Jim Nikki for more about stub Stubblefield and Oliver hidden kitchens, Texas stories and beyond visit kitchen, sisters dot org. You can also find out about her workshops and special events. And of course, our electric fingers t-shirt at kitchen sisters that were. On vein. A while. The kitchen sisters present is part of radio Tokyo from P R X. A curated network of extraordinary cutting edge podcasts created by independent producers. I want to the world. If you haven't heard it yet, the makers of criminal one of our very favorite shows have a second podcast. It's called this is love, and it was one of the most downloaded new shows of twenty eighteen honestly, the stories in this show will just make you feel amazing about the world they've launched their third season, and it takes place entirely in Italy. The first episode is about a tiny mountain town where since eighteen ninety seven people have come together to join something called the ugly club. We tell me what the criteria for being in the ugly club is what is the test. We have a card where there are different marks. It started with undefined and sufficient, medium, good, great and extraordinary. And of course, we talk about ugliness not beauty nece. So. If you are extrordinary admits that you are exerting every ugly. Would you give me the test course, of course, of course, if you want we can do it right now. Yes. And don't hold back. I mean, I would like to like a real critique here. Okay. And now we have to judge co listen to the whole story by searching for this is love. Radio.
Dementia: Memory and Forgetting: Nicci Gerrard
"Jim I wanted to do this. Show with you about dementia because my mother-in-law has alzheimers and she's had it for at least a decade she lies in bed in a fog her memories as far as we can tell long gone and we have no idea what goes on through her head and it's been a hard journey for for our family dimensions a global crisis and we're GonNa talk about it and the philosophical and moral questions that are raised by facing facing dementia Nikki Gerard we so valuing being young being healthy being vigorous being successful being purposeful being autonomous them. I always said that we are all made of those memories that we carry around in store in and all these things the memories the corpus the sense of having a narrative south fall away adds dimension to our show is about fixes yeah how how to make the world a better place. How do we fix it. Fix that when you sit with someone who has dementia a range of emotions emotions rise up they include sadness pain loss mystery ignorance what a person you love is going through an and also this fear which occurs to us what if I can't mention. I can certainly relate to that. The disease also raises profound moral questions questions about the society in which we live the values we hold the meaning of life. How much are we connected to one another. You know when does a person ceased to really be a person person and that's part of what we want to get at in this episode a few numbers. I Jim in twenty seventeen the US Centers for Disease Control estimated estimated that there were five point five million people living with dementia nearly fifty million around the world and the numbers are growing coming fast with the aging of the population people over eighty five the largest growing share of our population. We take a look at the mysterious disease and how we might face it more honestly and with deeper care British author journalist and fiction writer Nikki Gerard Art is the author of a new book the last ocean journey through memory and forgetting and Nikki joins US via skype on and occasionally as the Brits would say dodgy line. There are a couple of phrases that that that jump around a little bit that stay with us Nikki Gerard via a skype from London welcome to how do we fix it. I'm ready delighted to be here and thank you very much for having me Nikki. You Lost Your father to dementia. Is that why you wrote the book well. I certainly would never have rish knit if my father hadn't had dementia but in fact it was almost like two sides I to that so he lived with dementia for ten years or move and ten years and lived well with it. worked in the garden walked by the river taste his grandchildren. The Byrd three was very gradually going into darkness but most of the time he was quite contented contented and if that's remained the case if he had gradually declined over the years it would have been a side story but not a tragic one were horror story. I'd probably wouldn't have written a book about dementia if that'd remained the case things changed dramatically for your father when he he I believe had ulcers and had to go into the hospital what happened he went into a hospital and was after five weeks which is far too long for someone who's got like an what none of us realized into forty date is how hazardous hospitals are the people who are frail and vulnerable and confused and how dangerous it is to treat the people who have dementia. ASSUMPICO patients not as people what happened is he went in articulates maybe a bio contented and because we weren't allowed in to see him except in enforce visiting hours and then normalizing is in toll because of an outbreak of norovirus. He went off a cliff. The things that kept him connected to the world were caught. said we want that to hold his hand or helping to walk or help to eat and keep him hydrated and without those things that kept him connected to the world he he lost himself basically so he went in doing well and he came might up slightly like a ghost in his own life. He couldn't wool all could talk. He couldn't lift up his head. He was a body in a bad through the rest of his life must have been so difficult for you. Well it was hideous and actually I was endlessly struck by a how precarious someone with dementia is but also how mysterious the the human mind is and so in a sense the idea of book grew. I should these terrible lost nine months. When I was feeling that that he was both can present on yet absent that I'd lost him and yet he was still powerfully that actually it's it's astonishing to me now. How we want more disobedience to these rules for the rest of my life. I will feel guilty that I left him in her. He must have felt abandoned funded by everybody so I said to campaign shortly after my father's death which insists on the right of cares to stay with people dementia when they go into hospitals and we made welcome at all times because it makes no sense whatsoever that somebody should be left our greatest needs and the campaign rain has been phenomenally successful pretty much every hospital in the U K. Now welcomes cares they didn't when my father was in hospital of course too late to date for him. You know this may seem obvious but it's really not. How do we define dementia yet. It's really not obvious because the first I think that we shouldn't call it dementia. We should call them but dementia. 's there are hundreds and hundreds of different kinds of dementias. An old it really means is a serious cognitive impairment in the brain. Your book begins with a lovely scene that happened just a few months before that sudden downturn when your father has pretty advanced dementia but you're able to bring him on vacation to Sweden and one good evening in the gloaming. He's able to go out in the lake and swim around the little bed and you describe him out there in the water swimming. I'm just GonNa read a little little a little passage because I just really struck me. You're watching him from the shore and trying to figure out what is going on in his mind as he immerses immerses himself in the nature that he he loved so much and you say the edges of the self are soft. The boundaries of the self are thin and porous in in that moment I could believe that my father and the world were one it was pouring into him and he was emptying out into the reason that I opened the book with that image. Which is an image that I think I'll carry with me which haunt me for the rest of my life was because it was this profound. Gli moving reminder of how mysterious it is to be human how my father was that and he was still he was the man I had known all my life and loved very close to and yet he felt very very far move me. He felt don't like he was in his own world because world of nature and boundless necessarily so yes and he was being lost into nature a nature was ca- flooding into him and so it was both it was both quite scary but also yet full of soulless and the thing that I say say about memory about who are we when we lose a memory who is my father my father he was he was someone who was extremely extremely dignified and practical and able and full of modesty and an awesome x quite quite full of eccentricity. I guess but as he was dying in those laws protecting these last nine months of dying all these things that he boot up that formation of the self which starts when people toddlers of learning to defend yourself against the world of building up this kind of Armagh so you know when we were born into the world and we learned to be consonant we learned to keep secrets we learned to not speak everything we feel. We learned to contain in our selves and one of the things that happen in dementia which can be quite can be very distressing. Especially in the early stages for those people who have the illness is that those defenses get picked apart and dismantled a bit by bit people lose their ability to keep hold those boundaries around themselves so in constant paps. The body becomes this kind of treacherous leaking vessel. They say things they want to say. They don't say the things they do. You want to say they don't they become completely. They become these kind of naked law or self in vast world. I would always always have said that. We are made those memories that we carry around in store in us and all the things the memories the purpose the sense of having a narrative self fall away as dementia advances they fall away so there is no narrative as continuous narrative yourself there only an infinite a number of moments. There is no sense of purpose left an I've met so many other people now living with dementia and in the law stages of dementia and they have lost everything else all capacity all speech all recognition all recollection and yet something remains. I'm what I the book is that if I was religious. I call it a so. I'm not religious so I don't have the right word for it. Maybe essence. This is something that remains is that says something about how extraordinary it is to be human that we can remain after we've gone on. It's like an there's some kind of sure. There's something which is extremely wonderful about that. So we talk about the tragedy of dementia we talk about the the confusion and the loss of memory the loss perhaps of self we talk about how difficult it is to be with people people who have dementia but I wonder what did your father give to you. What has the the people who oh you've met who have dementia. What if they given to you? What have you learned from them here. This say that such a big question because I think hedlund really I hope I've learned really lots of things and they're all different things and the first thing to say before we've not seen that question is we talk about the tragedy dementia and we talk about the loss and we talk about the difficulty of being with them and pap to talk enough about the gift of dementia and about how to be with people in the moment and how to learn from that and how when they can have ego gets dismantle something the very precious remains that we ought to value more than we do and I've come across people who even when have quite advanced dementia are so fool of adventure and spirit sense of kind of joy and courage but is quite extraordinary so if I think if a few of the things I've learned one thing thing is that we should not think of people with dementia as less valuable and less human than people who lucky enough not to have the disease or not to have it yet we think the subjects in their lives and not as objects. I mean too often. I've spent lots of time in hospitals settles in residential homes being with people with dementia being with people who calf them being with doctors and nurses and too often even wonderful doctors nurses talk crush them then talk to them. Talk about them treating them as people no longer have any rights over their own life. That's such an important point I'm we mentioned at the top of this show. The reason why we did it is because my mother-in-law has had dementia for the last ten years and she's immobile and one of the things that she has given us is laughter she she laughs a a lot when we're when we're and she asked she squeezes our hand in it so it's just so humbling to stand that is wonderful wonderful and there are quite a few people. I've talked to who say that the person that they care four have become sometimes people become appear sometimes times a process of losing your defenses against the world is also a proxy to becoming more apron to the world's and more emotional and even more full of joy of course there are quite lots of forms of dementia which are not happy forms asshole and it's not just about memory loss. It's about becoming violent dough extremely distressed. It can be quite salish. It sounds like with your mother-in-law as my father they've retained personality and there remain contented yes. I'm interested interested in this question of what remains when a lot of the the the what we think of as a self is lost and you write in the book book about the role of art. Tell us a little bit about the artist William. Your Molin William Muthu Molin was a an American German realist artists who I never met. He died before before I started thinking about dementia but I did meet and spent lots of time with his widow. Patricia William Mutual Molin had early onset dementia and when he first got the diagnosis he pretty much turned his face to the war he became came terrified and depressed and can gave up really was just lay in bed in a panic and then enduring spelling hospital a very wonderful nurse persuaded into starts starts painting again. I'm what he did. He started painting self portrait of self as he lost himself so over the next I think nearly ten years several years he painted himself disappearing and they start offers realist portraits very skillful and then bit by bit it they become skiing. You know his mom start coming out of his neck. Continue loses that kind of sense of who he is but he follows his own disintegration until by the very end he's like a scribbled death had recognizable still saying they're profoundly scary. You know you stop being able to speak speak but he could still make long on the page and right up to a few months before or he kept making their mark on the page kind of saying here I am. I think there's also a role for our in a form of communication indication that is different from verbal communication and I think most of us have seen this when the impact of music on people with dementia I remember when my mother was an along the last age latte literally last week of her life. We started there wasn't a lot to say so my sisters and I would sit around her bed and we would sing songs and at one point she loved the old funny swing songs from the Nineteen Forties and thirties and stuff and at one point we launched into the Chattanooga Nougat you chew and she started off and she remembered all the word. It's just I know I know it is. It's his like a miracle. I Dont Cross his one daunte. Karzai went to which I had such a good time. I went that and I was partnered with this tiny woman. I'm from Jamaica who was at quite advanced dementia. She was very withdrawn. we'd couldn't speak but why 'cause she don't we took to the if your music struck up and kill dont door her life and she was whizzing around and the wonderful thing about that apart from seeing her too so fool that I was like music was flowing through her and she was alive in that moment and also she was my teacher so I wasn't looking after so her she was looking off to me. It was fantastic democratic space in which we will be starting with my father. It was poetry he'd loved poetry the and new poems by heart and he used to say to us when we were children and in fact the last time my for children so him the LAS visited him. We'd you all that and me and sure to my four children we stood around his bad and we started reciting John Masefield St Fever which which is apparently 'cause I must go down to the seas again. The lonely sea in the sky and all I ask is a tall ship and the stars to stay at her by on he he joined in and he couldn't say anything he couldn't say a word by that time but he could recite this poem we would just leaning towards him and we were all all crying and laughing and saying this poem altogether and it was this he looked gone. He looked like like he was no longer there. He seemed like he was no longer that and yet these words that we should have worn groove in him over all the years of his long life. They were still still that I can groove of memory was still there so so the the sole was not exactly exact we're talking talking about dementia with journalist and author Nikki Gerard This is. How do we fix it. I'm Richard. Davis and I'm Jim. Nikki is society in denial about dementia is sending the wrong messages well. I absolutely think so. I think that one of the things that society especially conducive developed rich societies sot is like the United States or like the UK we so value being young being healthy being vigorous corus being successful being purposeful being tournament and in dementia all these things gradually unravel raffled gradually fall away what what about these people who are old who a frail who have no autonomy. You have no purpose who are us. How mercy at the mercy of strangers was about them. Do they not have value and I think it's really profound question. We need to ask ourselves ourselves if we're not old what getting that part of the reason we're in denial by two is because we're so scared about art it is the disease is illness that will most get off as a society now and because we say scared if it on because as gatsby coming our way because it feels us not just with fear but to kind of squeamishness. I think an even kind of discuss it is much easier to turn away. It is much easier to treat people with dementia CIA as if they weren't fully human anymore the same way that we walk past homeless people and date meet there is or what prostitutes and look at them and technolog- I just that's what we're in this together. That's what we do in spades with people with cement were a show about solutions and not every episode wraps up with a nice list of policy prescriptions with your experience you've had now. Do you have advice for someone who is is living with her love. Someone who is in the early stages of this progression what what you know is. Is there anything you wish. You'd done differently with your father. Yes yes and one of the reasons I write. This book is because I wish I'd known at the beginning of his journey any which I knew by the end would have done it better and so one of the first very quite small but very powerful things I'd say that comes a point when someone has dementia when you can't bring them back into the world that leaving you have to accompany them in that I will oh say thing that we often do of correcting people with dementia of reminding them that guessing things wrong of saying no. It's not Monday Saturday today. No it's not nine in the morning. It's midnight which must be so scary and humiliating so that's a small thing but he's very useful to me that too. That's the first first thing the next thing I would say is ought everyday creativity doing things with them. People who have dementia stay the same person is not like you cross the line with the diagnosis into different worlds so they still need respect. They need patients. They need time. They need glove. They need honoring and they need to be kept in the flow of life not pushed out of it. I think that one of the things that I've learned want is to recognize when people have to mention just a bit more vigilant I was the other doused supermarket and there's nobody standing by citrus fruits and she she was clearly confused and ten years ago out of raced pasta in my busy life. I wouldn't have had time. I would have been that not seeing seeing I just went and talk when we chatted and she she talked about how she eat lots of oranges when they were in Spain her husband he was dead man how she didn't know this was going to buy oranges or lemons till quite befuddled when you saw her. What did you say to her first. How did you engage with. I just went back and I said Oh it's hard. It's hard to choose isn't it. I find it hard to achieve. Do you know what you're going to be buying and then we just had this really nice conversation and antique beat ended up by deciding to buy both because she couldn't a mind who have dementia. We all need to be a bit Kinda towards each other recognize people found abilities recognized. Iran vulnerabilities hold out our hands to each other speaking of our own vulnerabilities. Are there things that people who fear that they might be starting to lose their memory or or or are in early stages of dementia dementia that they should do that. Perhaps many people aren't aware of it is clear that those people who who find the onus least psychologically painful are those people who accept it who say it out loud who get an early diagnosis who don't don't hide away with it who refused to feel ashamed of because often why feel ashamed it's an illness. It's an illness like any other illness illness of the brain you talk about several different things that societies are doing for instance dementia villages in the Netherlands Denmark and then dementia training in hospitals. Can we just talk about a few practical things that perhaps APPS can be done. I mean the first practical thing I'd say which is not going to happen here. At anytime. Soon is just money only presents the whole it is so badly resourced based research into it Catholic. No cure said catch should be so much better in help for the carris because one of the things that we haven't talked about is the life of the cat on the life of the care is often overlooked. I mean it's an honest ernest which effects people around the past new has it and then we need to be more aware of that but there are these wonderful endeavors gang around on all over the world. I mean in the US rest in the UK all over the world dementia villages. They weren't really well. We'll say they exactly what they say. which which is that everyone who lives there is someone who has dementia or someone who's carrying for that dementia? The world becomes both can diff. Jeff sealed-off net sidewire. He becomes the whole world said nobody's contradicts them. Everything's geared toward them. Everything is safe for them. They feel it time. That of the villages are kind of made so that they reflect the time that the people would that the older people with their felt comfortable with is not the modern world. It's world that they were at home in I mean I don't know that I'd love to be in that kind of world but it certainly does work some people and then there are that they're the kind of small things going on for instance. There are quite a few residential home that based on the site of nurseries said their little kids and people and they spend time together and that seems great. There are students whose whose accommodation is is in an old person's home person with dementia home so they can be their companion in on the rent is paid and that works really well. I heard of this tastic project recently wear a residential home where people with not very advanced dementia with cooking food for his people. I might just taught me like that was like genius because a that doing something and they're doing it for a purpose so it's not just that they are being taken care of. They're taking care of the people who am I think that sense of losing value and losing purpose when you have the diagnosis of dementia is profoundly distressing. People were diagnosed it or not separated from the life they once led that the same person you don't cross over some invisible line and she ate given a diagnosis assist you the same person you should be allowed to live in the same life and being that life for as long as possible. Nikki Gerard author of the wonderful new book the last ocean journey through memory and forgetting. Thanks so much for joining us on. How do we fix it as being Mike like session. Thank you very much for asking me. Nikki July via skype from London our conversation with Jimmy coming up I think everyone listening to this podcast probably had some experience with this with someone in their in their life or in their family and and certainly that's true for me having lost both parents in recent years and both of whom went through significant cognitive decline in their in their in their later years the first thing she noted was was that problem of having someone with cognitive issues have a radical change of scene like going into the hospital but you often often see a dramatic cognitive decline when they're moved out of the world they're familiar with and that's something to be aware of and cautious about. I think in they don't have the resilience dance but the other thing she talked about which really resonated with me as being willing to live in their world not try to fix them remind them and I found this with my parents at a certain point so much of a relationship is talking about politics and science ideas and what was happening right now and I realized I don't need to be talking to my dad about the economy today. You know I need to be told my dad about growing up stuff. We did together remember when we went scuba diving gene stuff. That really lives deeper inside. He doesn't have to be engaged with current events anymore. That's passed but he's still very much there and my mom and I mentioned the old songs and stuff. Just talk about the happy you know things you share that back and you will gather in that. The songs are a wonderful thing to someone by their bedside. I just love that image so we weren't big song singers when I was growing up that much and it but when my mother's last week's we did a lot of that my wife's mom lives in a house in California's small residential setting she originally was in in a nursing home and institutional setting and thank goodness Judy's family moved her to this house where there are four or five other other very elderly people and then carers surrounding them and I think that that's an example of where we could to help those with dementia by moving them into more loving more caring settings and being sharing communities. I was very struck truck by what Nikki said when she said that people can live useful lives when they have dementia for years and years not in the final stages of their disease but certainly just helping them to live in community. I'm going to challenge that a tiny bit. You said useful lives what I took away. That lives lives lives that help other people as opposed to just being cared for by other a life where they're contributing in in certain way that moment you talked about dancing with the older Jamaican woman who was teaching her that was that was awful but but one thing I really took away from this conversation is in our society we put so much emphasis on on success on on being active and I'm saying useful and more pragmatic sands and ended. I think part of her journey recognizing it. A human has value even if they can no longer contribute one final thought and I think that anyone who loves someone has dementia walks away with what Nikki said. We should all be kinder finder to one another via fixed Davies every time Tim show producers Miranda Shaffer and we're production of Davies content. We make digital audio podcasts for companies and nonprofits. Check out what we do at Davies content dot com and if you have a comment or a question about this program please go to our website. There's a little content box. You can fill out. It's how do we fix it. Dot Me and and don't forget that we're on patriotic so zoo what you can to help us continue spreading the word.