24 Burst results for "Jesmyn"

"jesmyn" Discussed on Good One: A Podcast About Jokes

Good One: A Podcast About Jokes

07:49 min | 1 year ago

"jesmyn" Discussed on Good One: A Podcast About Jokes

"And welcome to the specials. I am jesse. David fox with me as always my co-host catherine ben air donc my producer jesmyn molly and with us not as always but because this is a special occasion and i feel like everyone who does thing like this for a living needs to talk about the special much as possible joining us. Is jason cinnamon of the new york times. Thank you jason for joining us. Thank you catherine. Jesmyn for being here as always. Hello everyone be here. We are talking about bo. Burnham's two thousand twenty one special inside which was released on netflix. usually jason. When we do this. I provide a variety of context. But since this is all right now we all know the context. Which is there's this pandemic that is was happening is happening. This filmed seemingly already -an during this. I don't think goes already during this. But that's a conversation for later and that's what it is in the context of bose career. Two thousand sixteen he released make happy which was a big deal and then seemingly was like taking a break from up his way of taking a break was directing his first movie. It immediately was a huge critical and financial success. He should have got nominated for an oscar but he did win an independent spirit award. He was in promising young woman. And i had heard he was doing standup again. And we'd nussbaum tweeted one time about seeing him. Sometime in this interim but for most party was not focused on it these connected to a lot of projects yadda yadda behind the scenes. Pretty early on. I feel like early as march. We heard that he was releasing special. That he was working on and seemingly the release of the special was until when he finished it. They're gonna put it up. And so that is the nature of the back of inside. But i feel like a useful place to start is. What was that relationship to bo burnham before this special and it can go first jason. You're the guys you go i. Well you know one of the most fun parts about covering comedy for a while. Now is seeing artists evolves and i think in a weird way the complete arc of my career has sort of mapped onto over career. He was there from the start. And i've written about him at this point. Probably almost as much as i've written about anybody and at first he was a really great. I would say. I thought of him as a great story because he was one of the first youtube stars. I still think of him in fact some of the things. I think that our most interesting about this bo. Burnham actually does pose existential threat to the way a lot of comedians the world because his process of going from starting out where he is now is so different than other comedians. and the skills that he's picked up along the way. I think only would have happened in this particular process so at the time he was like a novelty curiosity a youtube star a very successful one and then he moved from being a really great story to somebody who really i think is like one of the more ambitious artists in this field. Somebody who i think has incredible range. I don't know what you think about this. But sometimes i feel like having a background in comedy doesn't matter so much with when i'm writing about something like other people could do justice same job. Following his career actually is quite being versed in. His work is useful in the same way. That like if somebody's reviewing the newborns as the movie who has a long track record that i think it it makes it much more understandable. So yeah i've liked. All of his work on had always had some reservations but i think like a lot of critics. I have a bias towards ambition. And he's somebody who in. This is a great example of it. I think who's always really ambitious. What's been interesting to watch that. I what his audience with the audience response to about him isn't always the same as what i respond to. But i'm also fab. I'm still bring a full circle. I'm still fascinated by him as a story along with being an artist. And i think with this special just like with his first youtube viral hit. It's resonating in. Its transcending comedy in this way. That is really interesting. Just men so. I definitely remember both from back in the youtube days. That was definitely on my radar. And then i don't think i was introduced to him and his specials until what i think that was his second right it was word towards words than what and my cousins who i feel like i brought up so many times on the show. Because they're like my whole like comedy origins. They showed me what completely blew my mind. And i kind of freaked out about how much i loved it. I loved actually showing that special two people going into this special. I was already like way too. Like in the bag for bo. Burnham till the objective. I love his work so cavern. Had you watched him before. I was like you need to become a comedy critic boards at the top of the list of things. You need to watch. Yeah yeah. I i was enough aware of a bunch of youtubers. I mean i was like college at this point. But i had seen a couple of his things but only in that context and then yes jesse forced me to be a comedy critic and he made a. It sounds like a joke. It's literally hand. Puppet and jesse was the burnham yes but much like that relationship than it is mostly about the arguing between then he made a list of i was like. Here's the thing. I don't know anything about comedy. And he's like. I'm just gonna make a list of specials and you can just watch those and that's fine and you'll be totally prepared to accommodate credit. That's not true and we need that list. Yeah i have. I still consulted but make happy was one of the ones right at the top and i remember watching that one and i remember i was like i can watch this whole list right now but he seemed really like this one was important so i started it was that was one of the first ones that i watched. And then i also then went and watched jesse's vulture conversation with bo- about that and the interesting thing for me has been seeing how of the stuff that comes up in make happy started showing up in other people's works as ideas not as forms in ways that i found really interesting but also like aren't they just saying the same thing that he didn't cut like didn't we do this already. But that has been really fascinating and then this special. I came to as jesse said we sort of knew it was going to be coming and i have also because i'm also tv critic have spent a lot of time thinking about like pandemic stuff in the last year and like what makes for a pandemic tv show because there are all of these kind of special event tv episodes particularly early on. What is it. What do we need from that kind of thing. What do we want from it. What feels terrible about it. And so i had already spent some time thinking about at what point. Pandemic related are is actually additive instead of just reflecting and so that that was sort of how i came into watching this my l. Enter the story as i've been alluded to. Why put it so high on that list of things to watch. Which is i feel like. I had watched bo burnham periodically. But i've i became attracted to the idea of bo. Burnham and burnham's ideas like bo burnham talking about bo burnham is still to me like the pinnacle bo burnham as like a comedian comedy unit so i heard him on. You made it weird. I'm like this is interesting..

Burnham catherine ben jesmyn molly jason cinnamon jason bo burnham jesse youtube David fox nussbaum netflix the new york times catherine oscar burnham bo
"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

The Archive Project

04:21 min | 1 year ago

"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

"Delight. The fact that millions of native americans were massacred to steal this country. Who ignore the light. The fact that millions of africans were killed build this country it would mean celebrating willful ignorant to spare. My children would be akin to stripping them naked and parading them outside in the world of the closed leaving them vulnerable to the elements. It would mean keeping the best of literature away from them hiding to kill a mockingbird beloved the color purple as i lay dying black boy and go tell it on the mountain it would mean starving them of the most important stories. It would mean. I feel to armored them with understanding with truth in the end. I hope my boy is lucky. I hope he has never in the wrong time at the wrong place on the wrong end of a weapon. I hope he is never vulnerable with those who wish to harm him. I hope i love him enough in a time. I have with him that while he can be a child. I give him the gifts of a childhood that i bake chocolate chip cookies and whisper stories to him at bedtime and let him jump in muddy puddles after heavy rains so he knows what it is to burst with joy. I hope he survives adolescence with the kernel of that joy lodged in his art wrapped in the fodder of my love. I hope his natural will. To thrive to fight. To thrive is strong. I hope i never feel him. I hope the writing. I do means that those unlike him will not see him as a tool or a type or terror but a human being i hope he sees twelve and twenty one and forty and sixty two. I hope he and his sister bury me. I hope i hope i hope. Thank you talk a lot in this talk tonight about the power of story and about the way in which you help your fiction brings people together. What are the other kinds of writers. You're reading right now or stories or reading whether they're new or old or contemporary or not that you feel are things you look to or things you think are powerful now So one of the first books that i am loving right now is john edgar widens writing to save a life because it is about basically in emmett till's father and i feel like the story that wiedeman tells and that book is one that we don't really know it's one of those forgotten stories from history and of course. Vitamin is a legend. So i want everybody to read it and cracks signal flame a really beautiful book beautifully written quiet but come but very powerful less little fires everywhere she is. That book is like burning up the bestseller lists so she doesn't need much help from me but it deserves the status. It's a great book. you should all read it. I heard lately. Long soldier read from her poetry collection whereas at the nba awards. And i wanted to wrap myself in her voice and curl up and live there forever. Because she's an amazing reader and her work is so beautiful so please read it. Dennis smith he. His collections is called. Don't call us dead..

Dennis smith millions tonight john edgar widens forty twelve one first books wiedeman millions of native nba awards twenty one sixty two americans africans
"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

The Archive Project

02:44 min | 1 year ago

"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

"The world mark. Turner cognitive science. Scientists says this narrative imagining story is the fundamental instrument of thought rational capacities depend upon it. It is our chief means of looking into the future of predicting of planning and of explaining the stories. I read and the stories. I heard taught me that. In order to survive in order to flourish in order for communal efforts to survive and flourish to be successful we need stories. We need to remember the power of the story to transform to explain to predict and to engender sympathy and trust. This is what i attempt to do. In all my work to tell stories that will curse sympathy trust and make people feel tenderly for each other. I seek to tell stories that will make us real to each other. I strive to tell stories. That will make us more aware of all the ways. History bears down on our lives. The ways that all the old beliefs and wounds fester and use in the president in where the line bleeds salvage the bones men. We reaped the fire this time and in sing unburied sing. I sought to tell stories that would bind us together in the telling. I saw it to tell stories that my reach the kind of reader. I was as a child that might equip that child with something that might help them. Survive a parable person upon. I suppose if i were more fearful i could keep my children in the dark. I could censor the stories. They heard mute my mouth. I could spare them rewrite history. I could sanitize the world. What would the danger be. I could follow in the footsteps of those who seek to rewrite history who seek to reinforce the lie that says all equal that systemic racism and gender inequality and homophobia and transphobia do not exist. That otherness does not exist to elevate the few at the expense of the mini but that would mean working in concert with those who bear torches who march to protect monuments built to honor confederate traders. Who ignore with.

Turner
"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

The Archive Project

03:35 min | 1 year ago

"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

"We heal daddy feels helped mom in the house. My mom was white had assisted at lived up in the keel. They used to load us up in a call. Make a sit in a boot. That's what they call the trump and bring us up there sear but when it got dark the white sister would always say and i say y'all up here now yasha going go so we did. We got back in into car and we crawled into that boot and they put blankets over us it whenever white people up in and if they saw black people up there after dark will the system was saying they could kill us so daddy who looked white as his mama set up front with her while we hit. And that's how we made it back safe when i was a child. I didn't fully understand their stores. What i understood was nebulous emotional. I knew there was darkness in the world. One that was particularly drawn to those who looked like me that sometimes the people who were veiled in that darkness said ugly things wore white hooded robes roam the countryside at night sometimes they felt no need to dan robes that sometimes they wore their own clothes and naked faces when they came for you that sometimes they try to hurt you or kill you that. Sometimes they sent you away juvenile harder prison. I knew about parchman prison as a child. I knew that it was a place. I never wanted to go. But that there was a real danger. I couldn up their marooned under the endless sky of the mississippi delta. My mind worked over all this. When i slept i dreamt that police came christmas eve and took my father and all my uncles jill i dreamt that clansman stocked an endless forced and i was there. Pray i iran and ran. I climbed trees and shiver. I crawled in ditches. And i pulled pine straw myself. Terror the beat of blood through me. Even though there was a dark heart pulsing in the store. Is my elders. Told me i think i instinctively understood the power of storytelling that i understood the fact that stories could sure you up against things that would hurt you in the world that they could teach you how to survive at the same time they took you out of yourself made you feel emotions so much greater my burgeoning love of reading cemented this belief in storytelling. I felt that i was learning and spiriting something incredible again and again when i read the secret garden. The hero in the crown roll of thunder. Hear my cry here. The spy island of blue dolphins and julie of the wolves that i was learning that it was okay to be confused or scared like aaron inherit. Then i could feel joy and grief. All at once like julie or mary that at the same time. Human beings capable of inflicting pain and being terrible to one another. They could also be kind. I discovered an indelible truth that storytelling could give meaning to my life at the same time. It equipped me with the tools. I needed to successfully navigate.

julie trump christmas eve parchman prison aaron mississippi delta One jill julie of the wolves
"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

The Archive Project

03:45 min | 1 year ago

"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

"But he seemed to have little regard for my worry my trepidation. From his first weeks of life he ate voraciously sucking down bottles of milk easily latching even though his mouth should have been too small his cheek muscles too week. Once i took him home he gained weight quickly. Armouring himself in fat. He developed fine motor skills on par with children born on time. My son it seemed was up for the fight to live when his face grew to a fat moon. My son smiled and showed dimples deepest. My father's he charmed when he flies with me. He stands in my lap and babbel's to boarding the plane. He leans over to our roommates and caresses the other passengers arms white ladies with perfect teeth wearing impeccably tailored clothing smile had his show were chubby fingers. He's adorable they say white men with crew cuts and whether faces at him. I'm sorry i tell them. He likes to touch people. It's okay they reply. he's so friendly. They reach out a finger so it will grab it so he will shake their hand. He gives them a high five. And then my boy turns to the window to shriek and slapped the glass to attempt to converse with the luggage. Handlers hug is soft bottom his doughy legs and wonder at what. Age my wispy haired. Social boy will learn that. He can't reach out his hand to every stranger. I wonder how old he will be when the immaculate ladies flinch when the men will see a shadow of a gun in his open. Paul i know it will happen before he turned seventeen. Since this is how old trayvon martin was when george zimmerman stockton to the streets of florida suburb and killed him. I know it will happen before. He turns fourteen since this is how old emmett till was when carolyn bryant lied that he will her. And then roy bryant. And john william milem kidnapped him beat him and mutilated him before dumping him into the tallahassee river. I know it will happen before he turns twelve. Since this is how old tamir rice was when police spotted him playing with a toy gun in a park and shot him twice in the abdomen so that he died the next day to be safe. I decide. I should tell my boy his co. Sleep brothers by the time he's ten. I should tell him about trayvon about emmett about tamir before he enters puberty before he loses his baby fat before he stretches tall before his voice deepens and his chest broadens. I have nine years to figure out how will answer. What must be his first question about his phantom siblings. Why why did they die. I am grateful for the time. I have to formulate my reply. But i'm also angry because i know when i answer his question about all the black people america has broken stolen ground down and killed. I will be denying his childhood burdening him with understanding beyond his years darkening his innocence that the reality of living as a black person a black man in america will require me to cut short. My lovely gap-tooth boys childhood.

carolyn bryant john william milem Paul roy bryant trayvon martin nine years florida seventeen fourteen ten tallahassee river emmett twelve george zimmerman stockton first weeks first question twice emmett till five america
"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

The Archive Project

02:42 min | 1 year ago

"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

"Dealing and their strip-searched if they fight each other a talkback teachers in school. School officials press charges and call the police. This is the school to prison pipeline. There segregated into poor schools their schools crumble starved for funds. Their issue textbooks that warp. That lied to them. And tell them they're stolen ancestors were guestworkers. Police wrestle them to the ground in classrooms body slam them at pool parties and texas. The state will not afford them. The gifts of childhood as it marks them from the beginning as less than a hood adminis- in the making a super predator in training with a toy gun abutting welfare queen. Perhaps this is what happens when a child can no longer be commodified no longer be bought and sold when a nation reinvests through the centuries in the idea that allows it to flourish the other must be subdued sequestered constrained today stoop children walk in the daylight but they die in that daylight to even though i did everything i could to prevent premature birth. My son like my daughter came early. I went into labor at thirty three weeks when my doctor told me i was in labor i did what i could to halt it. Took to my bed watched movies. I read my attempts at relaxation. Didn't work. i went to the hospital and delivered by syrian early. The next october morning when they pulled my some from my stomach he took a deep breath and wailed inhaled and wailed again and again his arms flung out his fingers and toes widespread. His body arched and panic the nurse briefly paused with him next to my face and all i had is for his tightly. Closed is his sobbing mouth. I'm sorry i said i'm sorry. I'm sorry i'm so sorry. My son was four pounds when he was born and i worried about him in his incubator anxious over his weight his color the flap of his feet over his legs. I learned how to massage him to help his development and digestion. He was all stomach and head. And when i held him to feed him. I marveled at how thin his skin was how fragile he.

four pounds next october morning texas thirty three weeks today
"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

The Archive Project

03:31 min | 1 year ago

"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

"Twenty seventeen jasmine ward became. The only woman ever to win the national book award twice. She won in two thousand eleven for her novel. Selva the bones and then again in fiction for sing unburied sing. This is one of those talks that is so powerful that audience members who attended the event reported feeling transformed and tearful words. Storytelling is by turns. Wide and historic and narrow and deeply personal. She recounts parts of her early life. In which so many of the men in her community brothers cousins friends were killed and connects these tragedies with the larger tragedies of slavery segregation jim crow and mass incarceration. She talks about the recent birth of her son and the dangers. he faces simply by being black and male. In america ultimately word answers the question about why she is a writer that she hopes her writing house. People see her son not as a quote tool a type or a tear but as a human being and that justice he does here she seeks to tell stories that make us real to each other with all the hope that entails us. Good evening in. Thank y'all for for coming out. I know that we all have very busy. Lives and other places that we could be and other people that we could be spending tom with. So i'm really grateful that you chose to come out and spend a little time with me tonight. Five years ago. I bore my first child a daughter. She was born six weeks early. And i had an emergency c section. She will slow cry in pale when she emerged from behind the tent shielding my stomach in a response that i am ashamed to admit and one that i suspect was driven by stress and shock and anesthesia. My first words to her were why is she. So weit my. Obgyn laughed as she began the work of preparing to stitch me back up. I lay there quietly stunned by facts. I was a mother. I had a child a ghostly. Long limb daughter who was still curved from the wound. On the eve of my daughter's first birthday. I felt as if i'd survived a gauntlet. I'd nurse her. Plumpness become attuned to her breathy cries as she adjusted to life. outside of my body. Learn to follow a checklist whenever she was upset. Hungry dirty tired over stimulated when my solutions to the list sometimes not ease her to calm. I learned to carry her and walk to say again and again in her ear. The same phrase. Mummy's gotcha mommy's gotcha his. Okay honey mommy's gotcha. I said it. And i felt a fierce love in me. Rush to the rhythm of the words assure sincerety. I meant it. I would always hold her. Have her never let her fall. When i found out i was pregnant again i.

america Five years ago two thousand first child first words tonight first birthday twice Twenty seventeen eleven one of those six weeks jim one
WWE Releases Braun Strowman, Aleister Black and More in Surprising Decision

Notsam Wrestling

02:07 min | 1 year ago

WWE Releases Braun Strowman, Aleister Black and More in Surprising Decision

"Buddy murphy. Santana garrett lana ruby riott alastair black and braun strowman all released from their. Wwe contracts are all Free agents now in the world well if professional wrestling is free agent so to speak. You know. I'm assuming that there's a ninety day non competes. Obviously i have no idea. I'm not. I don't know anything about law. I don't know anything about their contracts. I don't know anything about business. I watch a lot of wrestling but those one two three four five six superstars getting released. Come hot off the heels of last month's annex t releases velveteen dream. Jesmyn do vanessa born Schuyler story alexander wolf and those came right off the heels of april's releases from the main roster which shook the world. samoa. Joe bill kate. Peyton royce mickie. James chelsea green tucker policto beau dallas. Wesley blake and mojo rawley. And then of course. There were a handful of releases before that earlier this year. But i mean everybody's becoming a every went to business school today. You know i i. I don't think that it's levi. Came on. Here's that you know what i think you know what i think as i start to add up all the facts. I'm starting to think maybe. Wwe is preparing themselves for a sale. Like all of a sudden we all know about corporate business. Because it's the only way. I love it. That's what i love about wrestling. And i'm not saying it's not true by the way i'm not saying those. Those those thoughts are not good thoughts. I didn't great thoughts. I think that that's actually a pretty astute of sort of Analysis and a smart way of looking at what's going on. I don't think that that's there's plenty of of spots where you could see could. Wwe being sold to nbc universal. You know they're already paying two billion dollars for the network plus whatever money. They're paying for television.

Buddy Murphy Santana Garrett Lana Ruby Riott Alastair Black Braun Strowman Wrestling Jesmyn Vanessa Born Schuyler Alexander Wolf Joe Bill Kate Peyton Royce Mickie James Chelsea Green Tucker Beau Dallas Wesley Blake Mojo Rawley Samoa Levi NBC
Prof. Cecilia Lunardini, Professor of Physics at Arizona State University. - burst 01

Scientific Sense

59:38 min | 1 year ago

Prof. Cecilia Lunardini, Professor of Physics at Arizona State University. - burst 01

"Welcome to the site of accents. Podcast where we explore emerging ideas from signs policy economics and technology. My name is gill. Eappen we talk with woods leading academics and experts about the recent research or generally of topical interest scientific senses unstructured conversation with no agenda or preparation. Be color a wide variety of domains. Rare new discoveries are made and new technologies are developed on a daily basis the most interested in how new ideas affect society and help educate the world how to pursue rewarding and enjoyable life rooted in signs logic at inflammation v seek knowledge without boundaries or constraints and provide unaided content of conversations. Bit researchers leaders. Who low what they do. A companion blog to this podcast can be found at scientific sense. Dot com and displayed guest is available on over a dozen platforms and directly at scientific sense dot net. If you have suggestions for topics guests at other ideas please send up to info at scientific sense dot com and i can be reached at gil at eappen dot info. Yesterday's dini whose professional physics at amazon is taking versity. One of the primary of usage focus is new leaders. Welcome to see you thank you. Yeah thanks for doing this. So i know that you have done a lot of work on neutrinos. You have a few papers. That came out recently. And i want to talk to a twenty eighteen paper dalogue and my own neutrino signatures of primordial black holes. invite you say. These studied primordial black holes ph is as sources of massive neutrinos by hawking radiation under the hypothesis that black holes emit nuclear no bass item states be described quantitatively called the pbs evolution and lifetime is affected by the mass and flew munich dialect my own nature of neutrinos before we get the details celia I wanted to get some definitions of folks would know what black court saw a few episodes of black holes Here we're talking about. The pride won't imprac codes owes The these black holes are fall close to the big bang And then as caulking radiation Sort of The black hole evaporating So to speak and that That lady Imitating these particles called neutrinos. Right is that. Do i understand that correctly. Yes so so pry bhutia blackhaws before we get the neutrinos what is sort of the mechanism of formation their ho- exactly what they have formed sure We believe that Primordial hose could form in the early universe from density fluctuations so We know that any object could can possibly become a black hole if you compress it into a very very small volume so this same process could happen in the universe with Density fluctuations that could be a regional space where there is an over density compared to the surrounding and each of over the east coast past Then then it could get to the point of becoming a black hole This this The details of this process are beyond my expertise But this is fairly reasonable thing to expect and The diesel really small rate in the scheme of things. Yes so when i started to Learn about time or their black holes. I was amazed by how different in mass can be. They can be may be the massive wouldn't but they can also be The mass of Being or they can be Even even smaller so they can really be very very tiny. Yes oh so. That's really really small so this is sort of quantum fluctuations only universe Kind of getting Getting concentrated in vide- small areas But we believe those. Those primordial black holes emit nucleus. we Have to go back to stephen hawking for that stephen hawking wrote this seminal paper Which is about what we nowadays. Nowadays call hawking radiation so he demonstrated that any black hole regardless of what it is could be primordial black hole or a stellar. Nicole doesn't matter any black hole isn't really black because it meets radiations so radiation particles And the the process that we call evaporation so Because a black holes fundamentally gravity objects they would meet any particle that couples to raggedy including trees so It's the moment you have a black hole you do. Have hawking radiation and neutrinos are just that are expected. Part of hawking radiation. You're so caulking radiation so that that happens to every black hole even the even the supermassive ones right so i it said gentle phenomenon And so going to neutrinos now Don't typically thing neutrino site Caltrans and electrons are really well known. neutrinos are particles. Dad don't interact with The matter Espionage don't interact much with matters. We don't really see them. They don't really see them. And and so it's difficult to measure that's right and so so this could you give a. What does the history of neutrino vendor we. I understand such things existed. Let's see We go back to the twentieth century and the story goes That the father of neutrino sees Warfare he. He made the hypotheses of a new particle existing as a way to explain Some strange behavior of neutrinos produced by by nuclear decay so It's it's a long story but Let me just say that For a long time. Neutrinos who just the hypotheses and then around the mead of this twentieth century They would actually officer so we started to Know that this particles existed and But that was pretty much heat. So we didn't know much about the properties And one of these properties the mass which we still don't know i'm easy after all these decades but we still don't know if neutrinos have something like a magnetic went for example And something that we didn't learn until much later on is the fact. That neutrinos oscillate. That's that that sounds. That's something that we that were somehow established Turn of the sanctuary around the around the year. Two thousand really after after decades of of testing with the solar neutrino selling trainers. So there are still there are still a number of no on your trainers. One of them is the mass one and the other one is the The nature of the neutrinos being the iraq particles or miranda particles we She's kind of a fundamental cost. So there are that. That's that's that's related to the fundamental nature of the neutrino as particle break. So so they do. They have a mass but masses small. Do they have a chunk. Neutrinos don't have charge so they are electrically neutral and that's Comedy the biggest reason for for them to be a so allusive as you were mentioning earlier on especially in the in early. Nineteen hundreds all the particle detectors so basically a electro-magnetic detectors they were looking for charge or Magnetic behavioral some sort. So neutrinos don't have that and so they They only have the weak interaction At that that we know wolf and gravity of course and so that's why they They escape detection so so easily because their interaction is very weak. Yeah so so. That's sort of the beauty of neutrinos right so because they don't interact V can go back digits of years. Simple hats Perhaps become pickup one on earth and it would have travelled that distance through all sorts of things but would not have affected wider rate right. Yes and so so the other phenomenon of neutrino is that you mentioned that they also late so are they're failures of tinos they go back and forth. Yes it's It's actually a fairly Easy to this cried kwan to sonam on We know that In quantum mechanics there is this Particles described by these function which is called the wave function. And so the neutrinos could be on. Neutrino could be born as a say an extra and then it's quanta way function would evolve over time in a way that after sometime. The wave function is no longer a purely electron neutrino way function. But the has a little bit or even law actually of a different flavor. It could be a new one or tau. So what we observe in the actors. Is this change of flavor and perhaps the most striking demonstration of this phenomenon is solemn. Neutrinos because we know that the sun produces an extra treatments and It doesn't produce a new on and talion trainers so But here on earth we do Have evidence that the solar neutrino flags that we receive has some You wanna talion. Trina in it and that can only be explained by sedation and Actually after this other neutrino data showed this phenomenon. This was also confirmed by a saint men made experiments so it's a fairly established phenomenon it and so that the flavors are Electron new on tall. Yes that's right and so. Did you understand the vendor made in the sun for example there they are made as electron Neutrinos and by the time they reached the earth day the Immunes dot. Yes yes Impart young. that's that's what happens so ease. It always the case that they get a manufactured so to speak as as electoral neutrinos always. It depends on where they are born. There are places where neutrino sutter born in or flavors. A so it's it's it really varies with With the type of environment We are talking about okay. Okay and so in the people you say ph is this primordial black holes. We talked about radiates right. Handed and left handed dutra knows in equal amounts so anybody right-handed unless the cleaners. Okay let me see so Yes you say. Indicates of dirac neutrinos. pba Left neutrinos in equal amounts possibly increasing deceptive number noon pheno species nest. Yes is that explainable. Yes so right handed than left handed. Neutrinos that may take why to explain what that exactly means me. Just say that It's related to the neutrino mass. So if you're truly knows didn't have a mass which we know they do but if they didn't have a mouse They would only exist as left handed particles which means that basically their spin is Is anti aligned with the momentum and but if they have mass and the iraq particles There could be another type of neutrino which is right handed. Which where the This being ease aligned with a mentor other than anti line and so If you are iraq these these two different species could exist and so instead of having one species of neutrino emitted left-handed one Indicators of a massless trina if we have not suv nutrients than you would have to species and so. The black hole radiate war energy compared to The case when neutrinos don't amass so when we started working on this paper i was interested in this phenomenon that A lot of the literature having to do with a developer. Evaporation of primordial black couls. Consider the neutrinos as massless about. Now we know that they are massive. And so i thought well Sixty speaking at primordial black hole could radiate more energy than previously thought. So i found that aspect interesting and then sees you mention the possibility to increase the effective number of species. That's related to what it was talking about. So then you the black hole would ra- gate more neutrino States or more neutrino Species to spe pseudo speak and then Would increase the number of neutrinos per cubic centimeter Data we observe today so I'm kind of glossing over a lot of these days. But basically cosmology gives us a measurement of this and effective which is called the effective number two species. And if you have this right. Handed neutrinos coming from the primordial black holes. This number could be higher than than expected. And so that would be may be a i way to tell that maybe there are more black holes in the universe yet. So so the hawking radiation essentially creation coming out of black holes Expected defined Expected that over a long period of time. Black holes radiate away lap. Later ray out the mass or information that didn't do it And so this. Radiation is hockey. Radio station is it is a new park. Or is it. Fundamentally composed of neutrinos hawking radiation is made of every particle that no of so A black hole. A camera gate Pretty much everything. Photons neutrinos throngs You loans It said cetera but There is the catch here. The fact that a black hole has a temperature which is another Big achievement of stephen hawking to end and others To that the black hole is thermo dynamical object and so Basically the bigger the black hole the lower the temperature so if the temperature is really low The black hole wouldn't be able to immed- Very massive particles because they are thermal energy would be sufficient for that so because masses energy Mc squared right so because massey's energy If a black hole has too low of a temperature It wouldn't have its quantum energy It's it's Wouldn't be enough to produce the mass off a particular particle for example a proton may be too heavy to be produced by a really low tanto black home so so the beaker. The black called the lower the temperature. Yes ed so. So then can expect the bigger black holes to have more of a neutrino content in radiation. Yes because The bigger black holes would as i said be able to radiate the heavy particles and so they would only be able to radiate away the low mass particles and so there could be black holes that only emit photons gravitons and Neutrinos do a of sort of the distribution of this primordial black holes Isn't you know sort of everywhere. What is what do we know about you. Know some of the distribution of bbc's you mean spatial distribution like where they are now. I'm wondering just like the easy would do sort of look at the early universe will find them everywhere Probably at the beginning they would be a more or less uniformly distributed Bug in the universe. Today they would probably be Behaving like the dark matter. Does they would Be part of galactic halos In other words they would be they would class gravitationally on large structures like a like a galaxy placido galaxy so these call still around They would they would behave like like the dark matter down. So they would be in in halo. Galaxies would have by. Now have april would would they not have disappear because it far it depends on the mass That they have when they are born so their if their mass is less than a certain value that trying to remember Basically yes they would have to By now they would have completely evaporate did their masters larger than they will take longer to evaporate and they could still be around So they roughly speaking the dividing line between a black hole. Steve being around today or not. I think it's something like ten to fifteen grams fiery recall correctly into fifteen clams though So this paper. Eusebio obtained the diffuse flux of right hill. Neutrinos from his idea and so so. So so the nikkei actually act to build these neutrinos. They'd be flying here do pbs specifically In principle that's a possibility we Considered that for certain Masses of these black holes and certain density of this black holes the flux of neutrinos that they generate over time could be fairly large and so we could Detect these neutrinos If we had a very Power who attacked so Now life is never ideally in the sense that a real Ut detector have substantive issues like ground And so on. So at the end of the people we conclude that impact is giving given the limitations that current nutrient doctors have It may not really be possible to detect neutrinos trump mortgage black holes but people. That's a possibility and that alone is interesting. Yeah because they suggestion that this primordial black holes could be as as you mentioned could be part of the dark matter that yes to seeking. Is that still About us that has been. There has been a debate on these Kind of going back and forth in the scientific community The latest i heard is that Black whose could be part of the dark matter. Maybe even a large part but probably not they entire dark matter so a one hundred percent primordial Battery is a bit difficult to justify the day. experimental bowels that we already have constrained so various types but there could be scenarios where maybe a fraction of the dark matter. He's made of primordial black holes. I wanted to go into a ended up paper in twenty twenty supernova neutrinos directional sensitivity and prospects for dissertation here the export potential of current and future liquid cinta league neutrino detectors. I decade old town. Mass a localize a super a supernova neutrino signal into sky in douglas was feeding the core collapse nearby star tens to hundreds of english Coated and don't be constructed policy in the detector can be used to estimate a direction to the star so so this is now neutrinos from supernova and You so so we. We have Idea here that before this opened on what happens. If please open over a time period it is creating neutrinos that could pick up and and potentially get ready to see the super bowl. Yes that's what excites me The fact that Think about bitter jews. Beetlejuice is the most famous nearby star. That could go supernova anytime and we don't know when that's going to happen and If it wasn't for these neutrinos that our paper is about we will know until the style literally Collapses and and then soon after becomes superman but in this paper we we Show that before the star collapses which is the beginning of the supernova process We can detect these. These neutrinos That are used at that at that stage and so increase the pool we could know that You know tomorrow. These days beetlejuice exploding and that that would be quite exciting. Yeah it's beetlejuice is is red joy and reasonably close to was really big star. I can remember Cecilia there was some suggestion that It could go supernova within something one hundred fifty thousand years which is obliquely in cosmic time so it is getting ready to go to Supernova right yes. I am not you formed about exactly the number of years give or take but it's it's ready it's ready. It could be any time and any time any time for an astronomer muse anytime the next thousand soviet so we should. We should hold their breath. But it's ready could be tomorrow. It could be in a hundred years could supernova. I know that this is not part of the paper but could the beetlejuice supernova avenue adverse effect on north really know a supernova is very very spectacular event. it's it's a star that collapses so it implodes i and that explodes and then when he explodes It's very bright. In the case of bitter jews we could. We could see by naked-eye shore but in terms of A fact of each radiation and neutrinos in light on on us and on our daily activities. It wouldn't it. Wouldn't affect them in any way so it's a save Show to just enjoy without any worry. Great answer so you talking about supernova neutrinos so so can be actually detect neutrinos from supernova. What different from what we talked about in the previous people Different from pbs I'm not sure. Can you repeat yes. So the new teen emanating from a supernova different from the Neutrinos of expectancy from a primordial black hole. Yes the the different In many ways disney trails have higher energies. So it's much much easier to attack them and indicates will beat the jews. We would detect thousands or even more of dan millions. Probably of them Indiana so different in the way they are born because in our primordial black hole ordinary black hole The processes volcanoes the asian. Which which is a gravity phenomenon in a supernova. You're born out of the very hot and dense environment That the that that the star as after it has collapsed so star collapsing on its own way to become very dense and so In this very dense in hot environment nuclear processes take place that produce these nutrients. So i guess the main difference is that indicates supernova it's most nuclear phenomenon and in the call is really fundamentally a gravitational sonam. Okay you discover technique in this paper and you saved sin principle possible unique the identify the progenitor star so So the existing technology and ideas discussed in the paper viki see teacup a neutrino decode. Identify valid came from or what direction thing from embed you can go back and look at the in that direction if he find to supernova then you could say that the supernova that created in-principle Yes let me. Just say that There are situations and this is not one of them but there are situations where if you have one neutrino you can point to the pointing the sky. What came from in these case. It's a little more complicated. Because what really gives us. The information is the statistical distribution of these nutrients so we are talking about may be the tax in hundred a hundred Gable take from say be for example and What did detector really observe is not the neutrino is kind of a vector which is related to the products of these neutrinos so this neutrino sues interacts with the interact with the detector. And then out of this interaction you have a positive on the new thrown and those can be observed and you can you can create a factory using these two and then and then these rector will have a certain orientation but each each neutrino coming will give you a differently oriented vector but statistically if you look at the distribution of these factors you you can tell you can you can do for with a certain of course The direction of the neutrinos because these vectors are not uniformly distributed they are they have a non uniform distribution of the direction. And so using this information we can we can define a regional the sky where The new three could come from so we can. We cannot now down to a point but we can now down to maybe a cone of a few tens of degrees Width and then we look in that cone and see what stars that com and maybe be juicy one of them. Yeah so As you say you if you see a few Neutrinos Statistics bution of those will give us some some probability That it is in in some region of the sky. And then you say the paper You can then that if it is happening please open nola. You learnt other observational. Modalities multi messagero rations Invisible in radio and other other types of observations Do actually pick up more data so this is almost like a early alert system If it is in place right yes i would call it a very early I learned to because it's we're talking about maybe our worse or insert very fortunate cases. We are even talking about maybe day Before the assad goes supernova and. so that's enough time to plan for for it so a something that fascinated me When i heard about this from a from a an experimentalist is that there is a human factor which was not aware of but The factories so if you have come up with thirty minutes to plan for watching supernova this may not be enough because it just takes stein to make phone calls and get a hold of people and and decide what to do. Come to a consensus in that. I saw in addition to technical things. Like okay have to maybe turn your telescope Direction which takes time. But i i was really fascinated by the human factor. Those things that if you had style we'd be you can kind of gathered. Relevant people decide something but if you have thirty minutes or or or minutes maybe not so. Yeah yeah i wondered. If such a earlier system is in place Perhaps could be something programmatic. Crises is picking up And you have some you know. Maybe some ai techniques or something like that that identifies the region and it goes. Programmatic returned the telescopes look. Yes yes exactly so. There could be a protocol in place For that so e if a telescope was suitable for observing a nearby supernova which which is not always the case than than now that we showed that it's possible to know beforehand if a star is going to go supernova then there could be some sort of protocol in place already so that when the alert comes which is we can just activated the protocol and oriented telescope. maybe automatically will in some sort of Organized way yeah as you say if you remove humans from the process it becomes not better there is actually already working this direction It's called this new two point. Oh a network which has to do with Exactly these using neutrinos as alert for the astronomy community and That has to do with exactly a creating alerts and also creating protocols for how to react to an alert rate. I want to end the people that just came out. it concordant scenario for the observation of neutrino from the tidal disruption. Even eight hundred twenty nine hundred ninety s t You say be induced at phenomenology concordance canadia with the logistic jet of for the title disruption event Between ninety s jesmyn proposes a source of the astrophysical neutrino event. Ice cube So the title disruption even this is star getting cooler into a black hole getting Getting sucked in rate is that the is that even up to the match yes This is something that we We had about be in in popular science stalks What what happens if you get too close to black hole and It's kind of scary. So the answer is you would be ripped apart because your feet will be pulled in with a strong force than your head and these. This is what happens to two statehouse. Use the star gas to close than by guests Ripped the park. Which is what the tied is option means and so instead of a star Rotating around a black hole we just have a stellar stellar That dr intially. I created by the black hole and so This is something that The happy neighbor cops serve did so so we have. This does happen this particularly Eighty twenty nine hundred ninety s and Bequeath actually see a new cleaners from that particular even so tightness. Deduction events are fairly well established phenomenon in astronomy. We have many of them served They they are Fairly a common plays events But what's special about this particular one. Eighty two thousand nineteen years. G is that We could let's say It could have Produced on neutrino that was detected a ice cube so eighty twenty nine hundred ninety s. She is the first either direction event. For which is coincident. Neutrinos detected a dice. Cube in queens. This coincidence is likely to be accidental. So on approachability estimate tells us that these coins. This is pretty causal not accident so eighty twenty nine hundred ninety. The g could be the parent of this neutrino. And that's that's that's a i. That's very interesting. Yes i skew. is a is a big ice cube in the in. The south is I'm not sure it's exactly cuba. But it's it's the biggest block of is which has been Eastern With values Small detectors So it's it's an array of swarner detectors but yeah it's basically a big block of ice which has been transformed into a detective and so so the idea that this high energy neutrinos from what they were System montemar even that happened Out there this high energy neutrinos passing through that ice q. believe some telltale signs All of that happening and yuxi picked up Then began back Just like you were talking about the previous creeper begin. Please back to a region so this is one of those cases where you can tell from a single neutrino of course the with with a narrower where you can tell the point in the sky where three neutrino kate from. It's doable with one single neutrino because this high energy neutrinos when they enter the is They produce ca a shower so they kind of illuminate. They you me nate. The is but the do it in a way which is very much Beat so and then and then the direction of the the direction of bigotry knows. We have a pretty good accuracy often. How often could be a pickup something like that. Do we have an estimate of how often that would happen. Meaning ice cube detects something like this. Every year ice cube the tax Of the order of ten high-energy neutrinos froth outside our galaxy. Tadesse the number for the entire crop of neutrinos that ice cube has It went we talk about tidal disruption events in the specific these are fairly rare phenomena and so they estimated that maybe a few times so percent of the entire neutrino flux the thais cubeys of serving could be from tidal disruption events. Not much more than that. So we are talking about less than half of the total flats being to tell this option events okay and so the tug disruption burned as as you mentioned It starts getting clipped applaud and pulled back into a into a a black hole but this ten percent. Do they have to be these braces as they call it. The things that have a jet that is sort of lying towards us. Is that it necessarily condition for these types of high energy neutrinos. It's it's a plausible scenario Let me just say that. There is an important difference between blazers in tidal disruption events. In the fact that the ablaze is something that has a jet. She's always on so the jets kinda kerman feature of of these particular galaxy but the title is adoption. Event is transient events. Saw dotcoms creates the accretion. This accretion of the star of the black hole produces flair is flair can last year or two but then it would just fade away so There could be jet and in fact in our paper we present where there is a jet so they partisans the user chat But if there is a jet in tiger disruption event. That's a transient suggested. That's born when This starts to create the stellar debris. And then it's on for months or years and then and then shuts off and it has two point in our direction as you as you mentioned because otherwise we would. We would see the trains your so this high energy neutrinos sillier how. How many orders of magnitude are we talking about coming to the one set you pick up. Let's say from the sun I'm not sure about the question. Can you maybe rephrase yet. So when you say this high energy neutrinos that is coming from let's say a tidal disruption events or something like that How much comedy orders of magnitude more energy Outdoors come to you. Know the ones that might be created the sun a lot menu of this magnitude so It is a big difference. So the sun produces new three meals. over a wide range of energies Higher energy neutrinos from the sun reach energies of the order of ten am pt and mega awards and for the ice cream. Neutrinos we are talking about one hundred of the older one hundred t. v. or even thousand teams. Which would be p so. Let's say maybe eighty tortoise magnitude finding the mass rife or okay and so this e. v. measure it is actually measuring the mass of the neutrino of newfield. Now these these neutrinos are have such a Such high energy that basically It's impossible to know their mass Because because as i said massey's energy so they talk energy of neutrino Detected is to be so high that that percentage view to its mass east so tiny that this practice mutual so i was wondering if we know the energy couldn't be sort of back computer to save the mass is or it doesn't follow The reasoning is a bit different and The way to sink about this is perhaps they let me see the formula for energy particle Which used the rest energy Applause the kinetic energy and So connecticut is so high that he thought the overwhelms direct energy. So it's it's and of course every time you measure the energy when three no. There is a narrow associated with the measurement so You we can't really we can't really tell what What led the boss of the detroit news but both roughtly this. This appears to be sort of an early warning system for many many things right topped the supernova the in the title disruption events producing heightened plano's So this could be sort of inundated with a monkey message. Observations protocols as you mentioned that gives us a higher success. Wait suspect. I would think certainly nominated be one right That's the power of multi messenger astronomy the integration of different signals coming from Photos tree knows navigation waves Causing me craze and Danger plays very powerful emmanuel cases and maybe supernova case is the most striking Xenos come first. But that's not always the case So in the indicates of tidal disruption events Did you know that was observed. Came about five months later than the initial dhammika looser version of the tidal disruption events so It's if it can go both ways. neutrinos can be early alert or they only alert could be for example a radio salvation or or an x-ray use ovation and then and then the neutrino attacked or could Focus a surge in that direction as see what they find which which has actually been done ice cube sometimes. Does these these archival. Search this on the basis of others from From for example x ray or gamma ray surveys interested. Exciting eighty that said a lot to be owned It seems It seems like these till don't know all the production mechanisms for neutrinos but if we have robust with to pick them up on than we can place them back and and talk asking questions What might be there definitely So yes so. People celia the next five years Wanted the aid is that you believe Be will make a significant crocus in this Innovative neutrinos then two different areas. That a very promising One is Broadly speaking Manmade nutrients so there is. There is a big push especially hitting the united states to build Create very powerful beams of trainings and then these beams are manmade. So we know that very well. We know that energy we know the composition and we can use them to learn about The properties of treatments and then That other men bead neutrino experiments where Scientists look for the between months so that's also very promising In something i really. I really excited about that. That may be a furious novel with noble the neutrino mass us from these very high position laboratory experience. Then there is the whole Topic of neutrinos as part of the mouth of mike messenger astronomy and in that area. I think what was was to look forward. To among other scenes is the interplay gravitational waves shock waves. You still Somehow a science of its own into a large extent but there are so many possible connections. We've neutrinos tidal disruption adoption events should produce reputation ways so baranov shoot us gradation ways So so there is. There is a a lot of potential there which is still unexplored in and that's where i see myself Working on in the next few years you adjust very quickly The do gravitational waves travel bid closest and new ashtrays and so if If they both are produced in In uneven they're expected to arrive on earth close to simultaneously. It depends on the timing of the production if the answer is yes the waves ending a knows are born at the same time which may not be exactly true because the physics that governs tation waves is different from the one that that governs neutrinos. So but the difference in timing would be the difference Accumulated that birth But but the two were were generated genetically the same time. They should arrive the same time. Just thinking this a systematic difference in the production time than guan lorries given early warning for the other. But that doesn't seem to do a case right. There could be cases where significant lag in the production of rotation way with respect to the production of the tree nose and one example is. We haven't touched on this before but let me just nation mergers so if we have if we have a merger for example we have maybe a merger of a neutron stars or black hole neutral star before the merger happens so when the two objects that kind of still approaching each other we should start observe serving ways and this is what this is what has been seen so Delight experiment observes these these nominal But if we have a merger After the merger has occurred and the two objects have become one than a. Dan could be the formation of of over an accretion disk and he secretion Trainers which we can which we can back so the neutrino We come After they initially asian waves and so relation as would be the alert for the neutrino. That does excellent. your this has been great as celia. thanks so much complaining pleasure. Okay thank you bye. This is a scientific sense. Podcast providing unscripted conversations with leading academics and researchers on variety of topics. If you like to sponsor this podcast please reach out to info. At scientific sense dot com.

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How a big, queer, black woman is redefining "yoga body"

Unladylike

04:46 min | 1 year ago

How a big, queer, black woman is redefining "yoga body"

"Noticed when i post pictures of my yoga practice that the responses i got from people. It wasn't really like that. Many people giving me feedback on my practice. It was mostly people being like. I don't know that people could do yoga. And i would just be like. Why do you think fat people can't do yoga. Fat people do all kinds of stuff all the time and like clearly we have a visibility problem so this is a really fascinating. Turn taking those comments. Which could either understandably caused someone to be like. Fuck you instagram. I'm piecing out But rather see it as an opportunity. And i'm curious why that was for you. Yes if it had just been people saying like wow. I didn't know if that person can do yoga. I like them. Bitch get is because everybody. Does everything concern about that. But on top of that was people being like. I didn't know fat people could do yoga. I'm fat person. Can i do yoga. And so my response to that is hell. Yeah you can do in fact you should and in fact it's not just fat people so that like there'd be so many different kinds of people who will reach out to me be like wow. I didn't know that someone who looks different than what society tells us. They should look like is allowed to do whatever they want. This is inspiring me to do whatever i want and that to me was a motivator to continue to engage with the community and the community. Was i sure. Engaging back justin's instagram accounts started growing photo by photo. She was posting videos of herself. Working through a sequence. He was offering her own advice for complicated poses. And you better believe. She brought her personality along for the ride. This was no like straight laced. Candle lit all white yoga session. No enya playing in the background. She was playing lauren hill in the background and she would encourage her followers to try yoga themselves if they were too nervous and eventually she started getting messages from people asking her to come teach them where they were. They'd be like can you come. Teach me in sweden. can you come to melbourne. Can you come to like venezuela. I'll know dude like literally everywhere. Jesmyn was flattered but she wasn't convinced that the world needed more yoga teachers. It wasn't until after her friends. And even her parents encouraged her to pursue teaching that she gave in and decide to get some training but there is still a problem because caroline becoming a yoga teacher or going through. Why t or yoga teacher training can cost between two and three thousand dollars as a grad school dropout working in a tapas restaurant like gentleman is not making that kind of dough but her parents actually stepped in and helped her which was a financial burden for them but very cool way to support her so she quit day jobs and enrolled going in jesmyn. Figured she'd get this credential hardest poses and that'd be that but about halfway through the through the training we were doing this partner. Yoga exercise and i was paired with someone who is much smaller than i am. She is like five feet tall. I don't know how much you weigh. When you're that you're that she's like that So and then. I'm so we're on opposite sides of the spectrum and as a fat body person i have spent my whole life paranoid about even touching somebody in a way. That could hurt them like. I'm afraid that if i sit too close to someone that i could hurt them like. There's this constant obsessive thought about the weight in needing to apologize for the wait and so the idea of being in this environment where i haven't have to physically put my entire body weight onto this. Very tiny person was horrifying to me. And so i spent like every time that i would even touch her. I would apologize every time. I'd be like oh i'm sorry. Oh i'm sorry. Oh i'm sorry. And after a while she stopped me for hand on my shoulders literally and looked in my eyes and was like you do know. You don't have to apologize for everything right. And i laughed because laughing is one of my defense mechanisms and i was like. Oh yeah sorry I guess i just was apologizing for existing and to hear me say it. She just caught her eyebrows. Me and like went back to the but i was shook i was like. Are you kidding me. i think i don't deserve to exist. i think i'm apologizing for existing. Is that how long have i been thinking that like have been thinking that since birth

Jesmyn Lauren Hill Enya Justin Venezuela Sweden Melbourne Caroline
"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

The Archive Project

01:52 min | 1 year ago

"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

"You know as i've of my ideas concerning with why won't people to read my work and who wants to remember. I want everybody to read my work. So it definitely changed. But when i was younger my late teens early twenties to mid twenties. Like that's what was driving My ideas about audience. We have thank you. We have time for one more question from a student to wrap up. Tonight's talk and she would just simply like to know what advice or wisdom. Do you have for young female writers of color persist. keep going. The world is going to tell you that you cannot do it. Everyone is. I mean there may be like one or two people who tell you that you can because i had one or two people in my life who told me that i could but most people told me that i couldn't you know that this was impossible. And i faced a lot of rejection over and over and over again but you have to see it and accept it and take it and let it roll off of you and you have to keep working and keep working and keep working and persisting until you reach that.

one two people Tonight one more question mid twenties twenties
"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

The Archive Project

05:15 min | 1 year ago

"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

"And trying to do what i can do as a writer to change some of that but i but i can't save everyone you know can't i can't do it all and i don't have to do it all by myself. I mean there know other people are disturbed by this and trying in doing really good work to try to change things but it can be hard to live with. I think day in and day out. I've another question from would burn. Who are asking amazing questions. As a woman is a difficult to write from a male perspective. I don't think that it is. Although i have to admit that i always have help when i say that i mean that you know let's see so my processes i write an entire first draft of something rate of a novel or a memoir right and then i will take that novel or memoir and i will read through it and look for things that i need to edit things that i need to change that i need to revise and then i'll revise the entire novel twelve to fifteen times before. Take that novel and then send that novel to my friends who are friends who are readers and writers and i say. Can you please look at this for me right and that is always super helpful. Because i'm not a man and so so. My readers can often You know catch things that maybe out of character in just things that i can't see so i say that i don't think that it's hard but i mean my writing is never perfect so i always. I always need help. So they're not getting every being right from the beginning you've talked about how your brother has been inspiring to you in your writing. What was your motivation to write. Or why did you right before. His death so So as i told you. I come from a really really small rural town where the majority of people who live there are black and also poor working class and so my my mother graduated from high school but she never received a college unit to college and earned a a a a degree in so she supported us by working as a housekeeper to wealthy families for years and some of those families actually funded me as a scholarship student to attend a local private school. Where most of the children were not poor or kids of color right. they really. Some of them are really wealthy and some of them felt entitled and some of them were unfortunately some of them were racists. And i dealt with a lot of bullying when i was in you know throughout my entire like high school career That was based on my race and my gender and in the fact that i was bor- so in the beginning when i made that decision that i would try to. That i would leave my love. Fantasy and sci fi behind in attempt to write about my community in about my family in the people that grew up with about you. I knew that. I wanted to write about poor black people. Initially i wanted the kind of kids. I went to school with like. Who bullied me to read my work And to recognize that we were just human beings just like they were and that we were dealing that we that our lives are complicated. And you know that. We're not stereotypes. We're not genetically designed to excel at basketball or not. I mean all these things. I heard when i was in high school so initially. That was my motivation right. I i really wanted those kids to read. I read my work. And i wanted. Change them in some way you know. Of course my ideas have changed..

first draft fifteen times twelve years basketball
"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

The Archive Project

02:51 min | 1 year ago

"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

"He is amazing He he showed up to the nba awards and he had like the flyers brightest purple suit on and then he also had a fake leopard. Skin pelt slung over his shoulder like he stepped out of coming to america. S- amazing on the strength of that story. I just told you you should get his book and read it and fall in love with him. And of course the last book that i want to mention is carmen. Meriem her body and other parties which is just brilliant and beautiful and heartbreaking. So go get all. Those books are out there in the lobby. Read them and find more writers who break your break you apart and put back together again. What is your favorite ghost story and why Probably beloved probably gloving the the daughter from beloved because she has such presence and she's the kind of ghost that you mean. of course. I don't think that any of us will ever know if we ever saw goes from. Never forget that goes but that goes is especially memorable. Your imagery language etc are gorgeous. What do you mean when you call yourself. A failed poet because i spent many years attempting to write poetry using poetic forms. Right so your son. It fevers all that. Good stuff. And i mean i was learning and once in a while i'd have a good line i think or an interesting image or the cool set of words but it's a very hard form. I think too right well in once. I actually read a poem that louise eric wrote. Call walking in the breakdown lane. I love her poetry. She's well known for her fiction. But i love her porch to anyhow. I read that poem in. And after i read it. I os totally deflated and depressed. Because in that poem sheet accomplished a depth of feeling in beauty that i once came close to achieving but it took me an entire short story to do so..

america louise eric nba awards
"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

The Archive Project

02:44 min | 1 year ago

"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

"The world mark. Turner cognitive science. Scientists says this narrative imagining story is the fundamental instrument of thought rational capacities depend upon it. It is our chief means of looking into the future of predicting of planning and of explaining the stories. I read and the stories. I heard taught me that. In order to survive in order to flourish in order for communal efforts to survive and flourish to be successful we need stories. We need to remember the power of the story to transform to explain to predict and to engender sympathy and trust. This is what i attempt to do in all my work to tell stories that will curry sympathy trust and make people feel tenderly for each other. I seek to tell stories that will make us real to each other. I strive to tell stories. That will make us more aware of all the ways. History bears down on our lives. The ways that all the old beliefs and wounds fester and in the president in where the line bleeds salvage the bones men. We reaped the fire this time and in sing unburied sing. I sought to tell stories that would bind us together in the telling. I saw it to tell stories that my reach the kind of reader. I was as a child that might equip that child with something that might help them. Survive a parable person upon. I suppose if i were more fearful i could keep my children in the dark. I could censor the stories. They heard mute my mouth. I could spare them rewrite history. I could sanitize the world. What would the danger be. I could follow in the footsteps of those who seek to rewrite history who seek to reinforce the lie that says we're all born equal that systemic racism and gender inequality and homophobia and transphobia. Do not exist. That otherness does not exist to elevate the few at the expense of the mini but that would mean working in concert with those who bear torches who march to protect monuments built to honor confederate traders. Who ignore with.

Turner
"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

The Archive Project

02:53 min | 1 year ago

"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

"In these moments. I think i know a little of what must have been like for those runaway parents who bent their children silent and blind to grant adulthood. That i know a little of what it must have. Felt like to snatch balls in the fields to hear the soft-bellied baby crying and denied the infant milk. To deny your child the gift of childhood in the hopes you can raise them to adulthood. Sometimes i think back on the stories. My grandmother father and mother told me when i was a child when i sat close to their sides touched them with a pointer finger on their shoulder their leg. I do not think. I asked for a story but they must have seen the need in me. They must have read the desire to understand the world through language in my serious face so the adults in my family told me stories. That would help me survive. My father told me this. I wouldn't but a little boy. Six or seven plan like little kids play with me and my cousins running up and down the tracks and pasco shannon pulling up cattails running down a beach to the gulf can be on the beach when allow go to the public park. You know to one with the cannons and a civil war plex. And when i was a boy there was a caretaker lived in a little house on the side of the we run down there because we want to plan apart but every time she come running out at how screaming. Get outta here. You learn naggus get out. This is in the sixties you know. My mother told me this. I was five. It was time for me to start school. There was a black school in pakistan. Call randolph. And that's why. I was supposed to go but the local priest father came and talked mama he was going around all the black people into leo talking to him asking a to send their kids to the white school to that elementary school because the segregation laws had just been passed but they needed people to send the kids so mom sent me. I didn't have much problems with the kids. It was the white teachers that treated us like dogs and then when we were older the bus drivers racists who made it hard for us. My grandmother told me this. My grandfather started a school in the forties. One no school for black kids go to so my grandfather bills a little one room building up on his property heart t shirt paid for out his own pocket so we could go to the school. It went up to the seventh grade but after that one nowhere else i go so once we was done now we went to work. We heal. darren feels helped mom.

pakistan five Six darren seven pasco shannon seventh grade one randolph one room civil war One forties sixties cannons
"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

The Archive Project

03:45 min | 1 year ago

"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

"But he seemed to have little regard for my worry my trepidation. From his first weeks of life he ate voraciously sucking down bottles of milk easily latching even though his mouth should have been too small his cheek muscles too week. Once i took him home he gained weight quickly. Armouring himself in fat. He developed fine motor skills on par with children born on time. My son it seemed was up for the fight to live when his face grew to a fat moon. My son smiled and showed dimples deepest. My father's he charmed when he flies with me. He stands in my lap and babbel's to boarding the plane. He leans over to our roommates and caresses the other passengers arms white ladies with perfect teeth wearing impeccably tailored clothing smile had his show were chubby fingers. He's adorable they say white men with crew cuts and whether faces at him. I'm sorry i tell them. He likes to touch people. It's okay they reply. he's so friendly. They reach out a finger so it will grab it so he will shake their hand. He gives them a high five. And then my boy turns to the window to shriek and slapped the glass to attempt to converse with the luggage. Handlers hug is soft bottom his doughy legs and wonder at what. Age my wispy haired. Social boy will learn that. He can't reach out his hand to every stranger. I wonder how old he will be when the immaculate ladies flinch when the men will see a shadow of a gun in his open. Paul i know it will happen before he turned seventeen. Since this is how old trayvon martin was when george zimmerman stockton to the streets of florida suburb and killed him. I know it will happen before. He turns fourteen since this is how old emmett till was when carolyn bryant lied that he will her. And then roy bryant. And john william milem kidnapped him beat him and mutilated him before dumping him into the tallahassee river. I know it will happen before he turns twelve. Since this is how old tamir rice was when police spotted him playing with a toy gun in a park and shot him twice in the abdomen so that he died the next day to be safe. I decide. I should tell my boy his co. Sleep brothers by the time he's ten. I should tell him about trayvon about emmett about tamir before he enters puberty before he loses his baby fat before he stretches tall before his voice deepens and his chest broadens. I have nine years to figure out how will answer. What must be his first question about his phantom siblings. Why why did they die. I am grateful for the time. I have to formulate my reply. But i'm also angry because i know when i answer his question about all the black people america has broken stolen ground down and killed. I will be denying his childhood burdening him with understanding beyond his years darkening his innocence that the reality of living as a black person a black man in america will require me to cut short. My lovely gap-tooth boys childhood.

carolyn bryant john william milem Paul roy bryant trayvon martin nine years florida seventeen fourteen ten tallahassee river emmett twelve george zimmerman stockton first weeks first question twice emmett till five america
"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

The Archive Project

05:34 min | 1 year ago

"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

"While. I was pregnant. Because i could not sleep. I often woke and read in the early hours of the morning. At the time. I was doing research for my fourth novel. Which is set in new orleans in louisiana during the height of the domestic slave trade one day. I read about an enslaved woman whose master was working her to death to pick as much cotton as she could on a plantation in mississippi. She was pregnant and bore a child during the day. She left her child at the edge of the cotton field where others would watch it so she could toil down the rose. She had no choice. Her child cried and it distracted her slow the accumulation of cotton bowl in her sack. The overseer noticed he told her mind her row not her child still. It was as if she was sensitive to the caning of the baby. She tried to ignore her child's cries and focus on the rose but still she lagged oversee warned her again. The enslaved woman tried to silence her tender mother's heart but she couldn't her infant's cries muddled. Her movements bound her fingers. The overseer noticed for the last time and in a fit of rage he stopped to the infant crying for milk at the edge of the field and killed it. And the overseers estimation the mother was a machine a wagon perhaps made to bear and transport lows. The child are broken wheel something to remove to make the wagons serviceable again. After i read this. I couldn't help but imagine the woman speechless and broken dragging her way through the american fields in a book about maroon communities groups who had escaped slavery in the united states i encountered more children but these children were free after fashion their parents fled. Slavery store themselves back from the masters who had stolen them often. These parents dug caves. In the forests of the south along riverbanks. They dug out kevin sized holes in the ground.

mississippi louisiana fourth novel new orleans united states american one day
QAnon after Trump: The Storm that never came

The Big Story

06:00 min | 1 year ago

QAnon after Trump: The Storm that never came

"Justin ling is an author and a reporter who has been following the twists and turns of the cunanan movement for most of this year. Hello jesmyn hey thanks for having me of course. Why don't you start before we get into what's happened since joe biden was sworn in What we're various cue in on believers expecting to happen on january. I think the vast majority of people who follow the conspiracy never thought joe biden would ever be inaugurated. They said that repeatedly a whole part of the queue. Mythos has been that something amazing will happen and that donald trump will be at the last minute. Of course cunanan has been sort of the vanguard of the conspiracy that donald trump never actually lost the election. That was old rigged the they were the ones. We're doing a lot of that. Frontline research but research in scare quotes there that underpinned the trump campaign's effort to overturn the election. You can draw a straight line. From a lot of the conspiracies that popped up on q. Forms like eight chan and gab. A right into at the trump campaign's legal filings around the election. Right the conspiracies around dominion voting systems basically gaining sentence and changing trump votes to biden. You know that started on a lot of these forms and wound up in those legal filings from sydney powell from lynnwood from the trump campaign that were an attempt to overturn the results and then also founded the belief of some republican senators congressmen. Who tried to deny. Joe biden certification victory so they consistently thought that those efforts would work when they didn't they deluded themselves with a sort of magical realism thinking that something would happen today. That on this stage will as joe biden's hand hits the bible that there'd be mass arrests that the national guard was really. They're not to protect the inauguration but to set the stage to have joe biden and his compatriots arrested. there was a pervasive belief. That a military tribunal would be set up in dc and that all of these folks from barack obama to bush hillary clinton joe biden kamala harris. Everybody would be arrested and tried for treason. I mean this is literally what many of them believed. I'm not exaggerating. This was the bedrock of the faith. The cunanan had that would turn out in their favor. Any word we're talking. You know to thirty on wednesday afternoon. There were still a whole bunch of folks who think that in the next ten days. It'll all the inauguration will turn out to be a ruse There is a tremendous amount of faith from these folks. Things will turn around in their favor. Any given moment that. If it's not now than pretty soon. And i think it's been horror on many of these folks to watch predictions consistently failed to come true will. Yeah you've been keeping an eye on these forums for for a long time off and on but you've also been Pretty glued to them over the past twenty four hours or so and as you mentioned. We're talking on wednesday afternoon. How of they've been handling it as you know. I trump depart. Says he wasn't supposed to then. Nothing happens at the inauguration. Then nothing happens when they inspect the troops and you know presumably knock on wood No mass arrests take place at the inaugural or whatever but like how. How do they deal with that consistent disappointment so i think there's there's kind of a handful of different camps right is a camp of coup non believers or maybe former cunanan believers who are accepting that things haven't gone their way who are posting right now on a lot of these forms saying you know what that's it i can't do it anymore. My face has been shattered. This was all a ruse. We it was sort of a triple fake out. None of the prediction come true Either q. is never real or they're overplaying their hand or whatever. Basically these folks have accepted that none of this is real I don't know that those people are going to turn around and embrace liberalism tomorrow but at the very least they seem to be disenchanted and done with this sort of far right conspiracy. Making there are other people who have kind of come to the same conclusion but to a different from a different angle. You know there were there. Were people who used to believe this or maybe who will always kind of in the same Area of belief but never quite trust the cunanan thing who are saying. Well we've been played. You know this was all just a gambit for people who make money you'll get power whatever but we have the double down on the same mission does not under the ambit of of cunanan. These are people who are probably very. Who are i know anti semitic who are you know. In some cases homophobic racist who are deeply reactionary and conservative on these are people who just fundamentally can't square a biden administration but who we're going to find a new channel for a lot of those grievances and there are going to be a bunch of people who who stick with who convinced themselves that this is all part of the plan. I've seen a theory emerged in the last day. That says the joe biden is in on it that actually joe biden donald trump working together. And this is. This is people trying to rationalize how these predictions keep failing right. You always have to find a new path to explain everything all there's always numerology that goes into it. There's always some sort of of myth making that you have to do to to sort of comport. What's happening with what you

Cunanan Joe Biden Justin Ling Hello Jesmyn Donald Trump Sydney Powell Bush Hillary Clinton Joe Biden Kamala Harris Mythos Lynnwood Chan Biden National Guard Barack Obama DC Biden Administration
Master Chief in Fortnite

Kinda Funny Games Daily

04:58 min | 1 year ago

Master Chief in Fortnite

"Master chief coming four. It certainly seems so yesterday The item shop started to leak four. I often that while we were live yesterday. Cradles credos teaser. Images came in hot and heavy showing the greatest coming to fort seems to be one hundred percent true. I then made the prediction. That a game awards they would come out and the four hundred announcement would be house. Chief in sama's all being announced for fortnight This morning actually. Late last night New starting to break again. We are on hype x. Right now we'll be getting a halo co lab to if it's not scrapped. The skin is going to be master. Chief kevin if you click on it you click on capitol get a little bit bigger. I you can see. We have of course master chief there as the character. His glider is the pelican. Does that get you excited. They're all yet. It is a little hog there for when you must there. And then yeah. He's got his What gravity gravity hammer hammer. Sorry it's very pixelated pickaxe. Kevin if you want to go to the next one. This is four might have started it. What's the deal with the little word hug. Like when would. I think that's an email this little dance. You see how it's got little dance. I kind of I love it. Yeah that's really kooks that fortnite battle royale leaks. Twitter are the people who put this. Initially i think this is what barrett show shared last night in our for channel They say here's some images that halo cosmetics. These are confirmed to be real so again. Take it with a grain of salt as hypoc says it's not scrapped. This is what this looks like. One hundred percent believe it. I think this is all going to be a game. Awards announcement tim. Where's your head at the game stuff is the one thing i'm not totally locked in on. They haven't actually fully announced this to me that because that was about to say like why would they hold off one when they'd been announcing him so anybody that has been officially adopt. Or is that still. Okay okay. gotcha then. Yeah that that does make a lot of sense what's interesting about. This is stick into the salmon's theory because the in multiple ways sammy's is one of these things. It's not like the other when you have chief crato and sama's like if it was chief and sam is that kind of makes sense but it puts kind of a different level where like it should be. Mario you know as like the face of the company type conversation hold that it goes back to you i. i'm out. I'm totally outside of this ship. You guys are like all about this fortnight that's a fortnight household include. Joey she's freaking out and we're hanging out. She's trying to explain to me. She's like oh shit like man. Lloyd theory is it's bounty hunters and my first reaction was sarah. So it's i think there's multiple things leading to to sammy's even if it's not just the big three. The bigger question is doesn't intend to play nice because intendo go nintendo. That is the big question. And i think that that is. What's so fascinating to see. Is that yeah. It's a bounty hunter. Sees and talk about these hunters. They're doing all these different things. I think you can make a case for obviously not bounty hunter but in a different way cradles being hunter. Obviously she's being hunter and then for salmon. A bounty hunter is nintendo down to share this stuff in a crossover co lab. Are they down to have her running around with an ar shooting other people like roof. Yeah i don't know. I think honestly i. That's the one on the weakest on that. I think that they're standing in the way then. Is it just going to be crato in master chief coming together to or coming at each other to fight in the trailer or whatever for the announcement because what i'd like to throw in here. I mentioned this yesterday. That during a jesmyn doing zoom calls for the game awards right. He's been bringing on guests he brought on donald mustard of course the big for fortnight that you see every year of the game wards talking about it in donald's it something to this is gonna be a huge deal at the game awards for fortnight What i did hear a quick google. I'm looking at. I fire monkey. Who put all this together on their twitter and says in a recent zoom call with jeff key lean donald mustard. A few hints have been revealed about the future fortnight. This info comes from a source. Who would like to remain anonymous harvard. Credible rationing who's on the call. There will be an announcement at the game wars for fortnight The game wars will take place in two separate tenth. A new recording session with troy baker took place. That's already happened. 'cause we know that stuff right This season is the biggest event they've ever done and it will change the future of fortnight when asked about getting more when asked about getting items smash brothers universe donald muster simply stated. He can't comment about it. One of the things. I brought up yesterday. A loose manner was this. The quote of this is the biggest event they've ever done and it will change feature a fortnight. I think when you hear that coming off the back of the marvel season somebody who. I love playing the marble season at the end. We all were super into me. Barrick have a blessed joey. Roger who kevin keeps dragging into these things even though he i don't like him being on our stuff all right. I'll say it. He's a part time editor. He doesn't deserve to be around as much as i mean. He's killing bats. The one reason. I'll let it keep happening right. Keeps me alive. Say this on a need.

Crato Hypoc Donald Mustard Sama Lloyd Theory Sammy Salmon Nintendo Barrett Kevin Twitter TIM Mario Joey SAM Sarah
"jesmyn" Discussed on Pantheon

Pantheon

07:15 min | 2 years ago

"jesmyn" Discussed on Pantheon

"The miracles. And and meet Curtis Mayfield Jerry Butler I. Mean people that have been on the cover of gold mine I don't have to tell you. But. I'm glad you did. I. Think I think I think the aren being the? Blues. Music. World that. I. I lived in. I never deserted it. So when it came time to write about Otis Redding. Or the stacks review or motown. I brought some stuff to the table that no one ever has done before and I think again not to harp on this point. You constantly hear and read the New York writers authors. And their personal history of growing up in Harlem and went public school they went to and I'm not I'm not degrading that at all. But. I don't think a lot of the Los Angeles, writers and Authors and people like myself until recently. Through my share force of will. Got these books out. That are now reaching global. You know status. That, we're finding out see what happens you find out about Los Angeles through Harvey? Cooper Nick you start doing I mean why did Tom Petty Right the Intro to my two thousand fourteen book. Turn up the radio because television city. And the music shows out here on Shindig, brought him and the heartbreakers to Los Angeles and Hollywood from Florida. And I I'm the guy that went to those TV shows. Partially because they were. I don't know one mile from where I lived with my parents and the world wasn't as hectic and crowded back. Then there was one temp as many people you wanted to go to Shindig. You could show up even without a ticket one time or they needed bodies to fill seats. It's you know there was no people weren't. Scalpers in this world, you know it was a a different thing. It was a pre FM radio maybe world It was a very. Los Angeles has been very good to me and I think, I've been very good to it. Weaving it in the work I've done and I don't hide my via regional affiliation I'm quite proud of it although. Somebody brought. An article from years ago in a magazine. which doubted myself. Growing up. Downtown, Los Angeles really. We something had met me in junior high school. But you know you do have a life before age thirteen and fourteen. And you know your first record impression that started five, six, seven or eight or the first record or the first time you heard somebody on the radio you remember that date don't you and your life is never the same after that. And I've learned to focus on the positive because I'm now I go to a market and And somebody will either hear my voice from radio stuff or recognize me or maybe I'm wearing a Hendrix or Marley shirt. So they coach the this guy, Hey, that's is that Harvey Kimber Nick wearing barley shirt because. They weren't there to see or meet Bob Marley or interview the wailers Bob Marley's been off the planet I think since nineteen eighty one. So, there are people like me that were witnesses. Yes and I'm still in this racket after forty eight years. and. So something seems to be happening where there's some sort of I don't know fits reward but I'm very much into the acknowledgement and very few things. Really bother me anymore because there's too much good stuff going on in our very sad and horrific world that I hope improves. But I was irked. That imply that I never grew up in Los it downtown Los Angeles because I never. I mean I never really have had the format to talk about it. So I I am. You. got a brush off people like that. Anyway told us the people I said well, what do you want to see a picture of me in at Coliseum? Street elementary school. For the explorer. So I just kind realized that myself and people from La. Had the big national forum to write about the culture we came out of. Compared to other cities and all that So I think when I bring people into to the setups or the wrap-ups. Completely adds another dimension to the journey you've read. And I have to say the pictures and the artifacts in this book of you know largely from Henry and his archivist librarian Gary Strobel and my own collection. I really think they really underscoring reinforced the texts that that's tossed it everybody. Well, let me put you on the spot now and have to read her book I WanNa ask you in your opinion which music documentary defined it subject best. Okay. Okay we'll throw a couple a couple you couple of. I think the doors. The doors products live at the Hollywood bowl in life at the little white. Really define the doors. Because they're largely concert footage only. So you're you have a frozen moment of time of Jim, Morrison and the doors or the doors collectively in sixty eight. And then you have them in nineteen seventy. So I think that's a pretty stellar. Mentally. Now for really going into documentaries, I thought the Allan Slutsky Paul Jesmyn standing in the shadows of motown. Really. Brought into the world of the funk brothers and that might be and we use the word best or. The, best example because. The funk breath to even. Even the common. Music journalist. We didn't really have a lot of names attached to the musicians on the motown records until nineteen, sixty nine when the name sturdy being online gun marvin gays what's going on album You didn't know the names of the players from sixty to sixty nine on the records you bought right? So I think that that movie. In.

Los Angeles Harvey Kimber Nick Bob Marley Curtis Mayfield Hollywood Otis Redding Harlem Allan Slutsky Paul Jesmyn Jerry Butler Tom Petty Cooper Nick New York Los junior high school Gary Strobel Street elementary school Hendrix Florida Henry
"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

The Archive Project

11:29 min | 2 years ago

"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

"So when I was working on, sing unburied, sing it was interesting for me because. I grew up in Mississippi right. I'm a black person come from a family of black people, right? I live in a black poor community and so I've experienced. A lot of racism. Of Interpersonal Racism. So have a lot of people in my family in my community and so. When I when I was working on seeing. And I was like discovering. More about like who Michael's people were and discovering, you know like writing about his dad. Right. And writing about his cousins and I. It was a struggle for me, right? Because my my. immediate sort of personal reaction to the characters I was writing about was like was distrust and distaste, and I, and I, but. I recognize that. It was very important to me to recognize that I was having that kind of reaction because of who I am because of I grew up and then to. Sort of step away from that reaction, look at it. Try to figure out why was having it, and then right in spite of it. Right. And sort of look at these characters you know as a writer and tried to construct them you know. With as much attention to. Detail in care. Complication as I do. All of my other characters that I. That I? That I right. But I mean I, you know. I just think that to reduce someone. To. Villain? That's not there's nothing. There's nothing constructive about that. You know there's nothing in net in the writing of that. That will complicate the reader's response to that person. And and these. Family ties, you know these some situations they are complicated, and so I felt like I had to. Make these people complicated. Give them some sort of nuance. I want to talk about some readily step. I have one more question about the book which is. Leoni. Trying to convince yourself that Michael is not like his father. You have a line. Say the father is not the sun. I WANNA, connect us to something that happened to me last week, I was in Charlottesville. and. I went to go to a restaurant I was with. Another black writer and it was other folks with us and then it was Young White, woman who took us to the restaurant, and so when we got to the restaurant. The waitress looked past the woman and brought us and looked at me. And say Oh, we don't have any tables and I was like strange start looking around like, let me make sure I start trips I, looked down there. I see a open table table that hasn't been busted. I'll walk towards the table and my kind you know. I'm trying to be as gracious. Second excuse me miss per chance. Could you? Clean off this table and maybe put these together. She say, no tables go upstairs. All right Lord. Lord. Okay. So follow her back to the. She goes to put an order in. I. Walked Back Tour. I'm standing there I'm saying missed like, do you do you mind put the tables together? You not been a lot of places. Sometimes, they do this all over the world. Together. She said. Get Out I, was like Oh shoot. We got straight to get out I said well, Damn like, are you the waitress you the owner or you the manager all in one? Like, is there someone that I can talk to? The. Guy Next to her works with her and I kind of looked at him like, are you going to intervene now like this? She's being unreasonable says. You're making her feel unsafe I. So it s sound like some code right there. Yeah. And then you know, but I pressing I don't know why I'm pressing. Maybe. I, don't know. There's a big guy comes in stand over my shoulder and he's like. I'm the police you should leave by this time. The other riders company like man, let's go. Let's go. But then I was thinking the next morning I was so inspired that I went walking around. Charlottesville, looking for the monuments. So I went to like I think it's Jackson. I. Can't remember there's like huge monuments like confederacy. So everywhere around. And then I was trying to find the little plaque where they have mart where they used to have the. Slave auctions in the plaque is so small meaning like you can literally take a half a step and miss this an all around it on these and I was like well. What would it be like to like get up and go jogging, and just Jong, right over the plate I saw a lot of people. The other thing I noticed that there's a lot of churches in that same area all this to say, it really made me question how different the sons are from their fathers. and. If you have that feeling when you're home. that. Leonie is. Is In some respects deluding herself when she says that the sun is not the father. She's I. Love Leoni. You know she broke my heart when I wrote her, but she's She she. I think she's in in many ways. She's blinded by her love of Michael. And that makes her sort of. Did like disassociate him from his family and from his father, right from his, you know his family who? Murdered her brother, right? She's. Needs some counseling. So? Yes. You know I think that when she was saying that you know that she's was trying to convince her herself of it. Don't get me wrong like he. He does he he loves her too but. I am. I think that that often the. That where I'm from that the. People learn these prejudices from. Their pay. Yeah. Their fathers learn these prejudices from from the people around them. I mean, it's it's ingrained into. Their Psyche their, consciousness. And so that's why you have this lady who reacts to you this way in this restaurant, you know just just your presence, right? Just the fact that you exist in the world and you're standing in the same room that she's in. And asking to be served like anyone else would in this restaurant that makes her feel unsafe, right? I was really thinking about what our role is as artists. You know two boys. Thinking that art should be inservice of justice, right? So should have some kind of politics and then lock like, no. You should just be concerned with the aesthetic almost art state. and I wonder a where you stand in that debate. And if it's like in different times, you feel maybe on one side of the other like, is there something in your work where you can feel like the intention of this just pure art or if that's even possible for you, and then is there a place where you're like? No, here is a moment where I need to express my politics. I recently read dust tracks on a road in Jonas. Gordon von by zone Hurston. So autobiography and then her first novel and. At least in the in her autobiography like she in her memoir, she's actually. Sections. She's writing about that because she. Faced, that criticism, right that she was not being political enough in her work, and so she tries to sort of. Rebut that and say sort of argue for you know the stories That she was telling in for. In say that you know the writing is what it is, and you know this is why she doesn't need to write the kind of book. Other people want her to write but. I feel like you know. Personally that even even though you say. Her Art at least on the surface was not. Overtly political I, think it was. Like I feel like everything. Is. Political because I'm making the statement in everything that right? Much like you. I don't. I don't make overt statements often, but I feel like the. Underlying understanding here is that I am. Attempting to give voice to people who have been denied voice for a long time attempting attempting. To. Portray people as complicated complex human beings who have. Who have been portrayed as the opposite of that? For a very long time and just that that. That's a political. act. Out I. got the nod already. So we were nearing the end of this but I know there are some writers in the room and an I would like a seed in me from macarthur genius and so. I was wondering if you could. Plant, a seed in a young writer. Tonight. The something that's been given to you this like Oh. That actually was some good advice and I'm GONNA. Pay It for now. One of the things that I wish that someone had said to me when I was first starting out. Was this like. My beginning. I went to the University of Michigan. My. Like I..

writer Michael Charlottesville. Mississippi University of Michigan Leonie Jong Jonas macarthur Gordon Hurston
"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

The Archive Project

10:02 min | 2 years ago

"jesmyn" Discussed on The Archive Project

"Hosted deliciousness inside him a rich secret. I, WANNA remember a say, ask reactive asking the tell you. Enough Joe says, pulling out A, we'd would do what you say revest. He whips the weeds from a soul like not cake at an had enough berries. Joe Says I'm full. He Looks Doumanian Vince, the picket strike grass. Leoni and Michael Leave about walking out to the garden. Leonis Redcar cranks to live from growls down the road and they disappeared the tunnel of trees. I. Think about climbing into the car with him just to see where they go. But I don't I follow. Joe. Joe and ribbon. Kayla instead. Boys footsteps and I watch I. Watch the way reverses them around furrows and troves how he cooks and beans for dinners the way he make sure they're clean when they latte on sleep watching this family grabs me and saw twists and pulls tight. It hurts it hurts so much I can't look at it so I don't. I, go out. The Night? Cloudy I WANNA. Bow into the earth to sleep. But I'm so close I'm so close. I can hear the sound of the waters. The scaling bird would lead me over tumble with the wind. So a crawl under the house instead. Line, the dirt under the living room where they all sleep making a caught of the earth and I sing songs without words. The songs come to me out of the same air that brings the sound of the waters. I Open my mouth and I hear the Russian of the waves. This is what I see. Across the face of the water there is land. Is, green and hilly dense with trees riven by rivers, the rivers flow backward, they begin in the sea and inland, the air is gold. The goal of sunrise and sunset perpetually peach their homes set atop mountain ranges valleys on beaches there vivid, blue, and dark red, cloudy Pink, and deepest purple, their Yurt Adobe dwellings and teepees, and long houses and villas. Some of the homes are cluster together in small villages, graceful gatherings of round steady huts with domed roofs and their cities, cities that harbor plazas and canals and buildings. Barron minarets and hit gable roofs and Crotch and beasts and massive buildings that look as if they should collapse. So weirdly flower into the sky yet they do not. There, are people tiny indistinct. They fly and walk and float and run. They are alone. They are together. They wanted the summits, they swim in the rivers and sea. They walk hand in hand in the parks and the squares disappear into the buildings there never silent ever-present is they're singing. They don't move their mouths and yet it comes from them. Croon in in the yellow light, it comes from the black earth, the trees and the sky it comes from the water. It is the most beautiful song I have ever heard, but I can't understand a word. I am gasping when the vision passes the dark underbelly of Rivers House looms before me creaking than silent. I looked to my right and see a flash of the water, the rivers, Dennis, the cities, the people in darkness. I looked to my left and see the world again, and then it is gone. I claw at the air, but my hands strike nothing. They ran no doorways to that. Golden I'll absence isolation I can. Could just to you. was over here, you should just keep going. This real easy. I suggested that we read about home one 'cause I'm home. But also because I feel like home is so much a part of what I do and also obviously what you do. So I was looking for kind of. Quotes kind of connected to this idea home. So I wanna read a few of those quotes and see how they kind of Mesh with your definition of own. Hair, Clyde has no man ever steps in the river in the same river twice. Thomas will you can't go home again and then the third one is Tony Morrison home is memory in companions and or friends who share the same memory. I, know that's hard. It's three remember probably shouldn't be doing something. But I wonder like, do any one of them kind of Echo, your idea of home. If not like how how does your does your idea kind of Jive with one of them? I feel like my entire. Career. I've been wrestling with that idea, right? Wrestling with this idea of home trying to figure out what that means for me. I was actually thinking about why you're reading from survival math because. You reading about home and reading like telling us about your memories of your home and then bringing us to this place where you're also talking about how that home you know that you knew and that you loved and perhaps hated all at once. has become something. Else right. I. It. Back when I was first. Trying. To wrestle with home in my work I. Remember one of my friends said something akin to to. Thomas Wolf's quote, right? Like you can't go home again. Right, and when my friend said that to me. It was as if I had never heard that before. And I think before he said that to me I sort of harbored this idea that I could, and then he said that to me, and then I realized that. In fact, I couldn't because the home that I knew and loved and yes, a little bit hated all at once that home in many ways had changed didn't exist anymore. And so I think in some respects, one of the reasons that I invented also. You know I've explored that that place and I write about that place in. So much of my work is. Trying to. Sort of. Catcher worried about will construct my memory of what my home what. was like in the past and I'm immersing myself and my characters into that world. And in some ways Attempting to to make that place live again a. But I think that that that it would be interesting to hear from you too about about that because I, mean, as you read earlier like your home. I mean, I feel like you're wrestling with some of the same. Things all work when you were talking I was thinking Oh, you're like you've created this place that is kind of a reflection of home, but it's not perfect home, right like you like you're examining home, but you're also seeing places where. Home. has failed it citizens or the you know the people that are there and I think that's interesting because I feel like if we could create a new home, the most of us were trying to kind of you know, invent some sense, our sense of perfection. But that is probably not our job to make a perfect home and yeah, you know I was also thinking about how like I think that? What I'm really after his the distance between, I can never get there and this is my memory of it. And so I'm always trying to like. Reflect and kind of stay connected to these memories because I feel like. If, I lose the memories like. then. I'll never be able to kind of reach those that kind of nostalgia or those kind of. Positive feelings I had about not just the place, the the people, and also I hear a lot of. Your connected to the landscape. Right. In a way that I'm not connected to the landscape of Oregon, I'm connected more to. Like the city in a sense, but really the people, right. So when I think of home I, don't necessarily think of like Calama th falls or you know like I don't i. don't have any kind of childhood memories about visiting the zoo or things like that. I think about like people that I knew what happened to them. So I think that's an interesting way. They like yours is both the people and the kind of natural landscape in a way that uh, the minds isn't. That's really interesting because I just took it for granted both of those. Aspects of home. I'm. We need more landscape. I need to get out the northeast I. Guess. Maybe, I, should travel because people even I. see them and they're like Oh yeah. You're from Portland like have you been to such a size? I'm like no. Actually I haven't, but sounds beautiful though. Maybe. Next Time I. Go home. I'll try it. Out..

Joe Thomas Wolf Doumanian Vince Rivers House Wrestling Leoni Kayla Yurt Adobe Tony Morrison Michael Leave Dennis Clyde Portland Oregon
Upgrading Lifestyle vs. Saving for the Future

Radical Personal Finance

08:46 min | 2 years ago

Upgrading Lifestyle vs. Saving for the Future

"I'm hoping you can help me walk through of the things So by way of background just turned twenty. Five I make around seventy five thousand dollars a year nine thousand dollars. Student loans I purchased a single Family House. Two years ago with the intense house actor years by another house rent the first property and then repeat that strategy into financial dependence So in my four Bedroom House. I had three roommates college buddies for the first year. non down to one remain. Who's covering have my mortgage payment but as moving out in the next twelve months I didn't really know what I was getting into when I bought the house. I'm GONNA came to repairs maintenance that kind of thing But I knew the math made sense and I feel I learned a lot about my local market and what works required in general. But I'm not positive I'm ready to continue growing or by another place yet. So I'm conflicted because the math make sense for me to continue my initial plan so by another place rented out for another first place and continue But I'm also at a point in my career where I'd like to spend more time developing my profession. will also spending meaningful time with family and friends take medication vacation. Etcetera While I mentally young So I really like to hear your thoughts I'm I guess your thoughts if you were in my shoes or what things you think. I should be considering going forward. appreciate it. How much how much How much is your monthly mortgage payment dollars? Mega simple now. How much did you pay for the house? One fifty five. How much could you sell it for today if you put it on the market Based on the most recent like Jesmyn in the range of I'd say one seventy I think. And how long have you lived there? Two years came. Why have you not rented out the other two bedrooms? Thus far after the other roommates left so the idea attacking you sounds great and it was financially But after graduating out of college I was Kinda done with college lifestyle so You know just little things like that with roommates that you know can drive you up a wall. So that was the primary reason I was content with having each one dropped and then you know I was. You know more peace in the house. So I figure I'd be paying rent anyway like most people so the fact that I have covered now is okay but with my roommate. Moving out you know in about a year. I figured it would be a good time. I wanted to make the move. It would be now ran out the house entirely and then you know. Continue so the problem that you're facing is you're not trying to make a financial analysis what you're trying to do is justified to yourself a fancier lifestyle which. I if you want to. Of course you can. But it's not a financial question But you you're just simply trying to find a way to live fancier lifestyle you want a fancier lifestyle with fewer roommates. You don't want as many people in your house. You want more personal space. You're tired of living like a college student being crammed four to a little house and you want a little bit of space. You probably want your house just how you want it. You want the decorations. Just tell you want them These are all lifestyle decisions though basically use. They're all a matter of you saying hey this is how. I WanNa live when you talk about wanting more time. You're not trying to get more time so that you can make more money did say folks in your career. We'll come back to that in a minute. But you're saying I just want to work less right. I WANNA have less time with work. I don't want to always be managing my rental house. I don't always be working in my career. I want more time. This is a lifestyle decision and not something that is financial. The only thing that you mentioned that his financial would be your career the ability to focus on your career and could you increase your income significantly By focusing on your career. But you're going to have to decide. How much do I want to be rich? How much do I want to be rich? Fast versus how much sacrifice do I want to make? In terms of lifestyle people who become rich quickly are generally those who sacrifice in terms of lifestyle by going ahead and getting more roommates or figuring out another solution that has that that helps them to satisfies the problem to make it sufficient where they're willing to do with it or their people who generate such a massive income that they can satisfy their lifestyle needs and goals while still getting rich quick. Those are really the only two paths. I see so the income one is certainly the way that you can increase lifestyle and increase your wealth building ability. I teach a whole course on on Career and income planning and the thing that I always point out is if you WANNA double your lifestyle and you WanNa Double Your Savings. The only way to do that is by increasing your income and so if you sit down with your career and you say you know what. I Really WanNa have you look yourself in the mirror and say brandon. You're sick and tired of living. I'm sick and tired of living college. Student I WANNA have a nice house not only don't WanNa four bedroom house but I wanNA fancier four bedroom house Not only do I not want only one one one roommate. I want no roommates. I want the entire house for myself. I want to have turn one of my bedrooms into a movie theater. I WANNA turn one of my bedrooms into a guest room. I WANNA turn one of my bedrooms into my computer room and I want to have my other bedroom. Just my my sanctuary. Well you could do that. But you're not going to get rich unless you massively increase your income and so if you can go from seventy five thousand dollars a year to two hundred seventy five thousand dollars a year then you can increase your lifestyle and you can increase your savings both but if you're just going to keep it seventy five thousand dollars a year and say well I'm making seventy five thousand dollars a year and I'll get little three percent raises etcetera. Then you're not gonna get rich that way and so you have three choices as I see it. Choice number one is you can say. I'M GONNA keep my income is probably going to stay about like it is and I'm GonNa keep just a little little increases etc and I want to get rich quick and so in order for me to get rich quick. I'M GONNA give up lifestyle and so no. I don't love living with four room at three roommates but I'm GONNA go ahead and do it And I'm going to stay on the original plan because that plan will help you get rich fairly quickly. Even with a seventy five thousand dollar income it a work number two is you could say I want a nicer lifestyle but I also Wanna get rich quick in which case. I've got to figure out how to make more money so I've got to move from a career where I'm making seventy five thousand dollars a year to making two hundred seventy five thousand dollars a year. And so how can I do that? I'm twenty five years old. How can I by the age of thirty with what I have? How can I set a target to be making seventy five by the age of thirty but if you do that if you increase your income then you can also then a justified the increases in your lifestyle and you become rich quick or choice number three is you can say? I don't want to do the hard work necessary to increase my income. I don't WanNa Change. I don't want to do those kinds of jobs. I'm comfortable where I'm at. I I WANNA have a nicer lifestyle and what I'll give up is. I'm just going to give up getting rich getting rich quick. I'm GonNa live in a nice house. I'm GONNA LET GONNA pay my mortgage off for a long time not GonNa have any roommates or I'm going to sell this house and just move into a you know a a studio or whatever other living arrangement you have and I'm going to be content with getting rich over forty years instead over over ten but those are the three choices that I see Do you have yeah absolutely. I think I need to hear that too. So I appreciate it Next a lot of times what I would do. If I were in your shoes would be. I would suck it up on the roommate situation. I see no reason. Why are you married Brandon Twenty? Are you single married singled girlfriends or year and a half? That's something that's you know. I'm horizon well if you get married and of course things change And you had to do that but I would recommend that you make that decision separately And if if I were in your shoes I would say number one. I'm twenty five years old. It's ridiculous for to be complaining about lifestyle at twenty five years old. If you care about wealth now you complain all you want but if you care about wealth. It's ridiculous complaining about lifestyle. I wish that I had been far more hardcore at twenty five and I was pretty hardcore but I wish I'd been far more hardcore. I wish I had worked a lot more than I worked. I wish I had invested a lot more than invested. I wish I had lived a lower lifestyle than I lived. You can do a whole lot of things when you're twenty five years old and single. That are a lot harder to do when you're thirty five married with children and so I wish I had worked harder and I worked harder than most people but at this point in time if I were going back if I were twenty five years old I would be working seventy to eighty hours a week. I WOULD BE LIVING IN ONE BEDROOM. Four bedroom house or I would probably have an RV parked out. And I would run out the fourth

Bedroom House Family House Brandon Twenty
From the LGBTQ Vault: Sylvia Rivera & Marsha P. Johnson

Making Gay History

10:24 min | 2 years ago

From the LGBTQ Vault: Sylvia Rivera & Marsha P. Johnson

"Sixth season of our podcast is focused on LGBT activism in the Post stonewall seventies two of the most prominent trans activists to emerge out of that period were Sylvia Rivera and Marsha p Johnson in one thousand nine hundred seventy the year after the stonewall uprising in New York City's Greenwich Village. The two friends founded street transvestite action revolutionaries or star and set up a barebones refuge in a run down apartment building on the lower east side in Manhattan for street kids much like themselves. They called it star House. In December Nineteen Seventy Liza Cowan and twenty year old reporter for Wbai radio conducted. What we believe is the oldest recorded interview with Sylvia Marsha and other members of star? She is a reel to reel tape recorder and set out to do a story on what was then known as crossdressing. Eventually a single reel containing an edited version of the interview found. Its way into the basement of the lesbian. Her story archives in Brooklyn New York. And that's where making gay histories self-described Archive Rat Brian. Free founded in the spring of two thousand nineteen before we share some of that incredibly rare tape with you. I thought I'd ask Brian about his experience of discovering this long lost interview. And how did you find this tape. Where were you what were you doing so I was looking for audio for the fifth season of making a history for our stonewall season listen and my mission was to find archival audio tapes that were made around nineteen sixty eight to nineteen seventy-one so I went to the LGBT center archives? I went to the New York Public Library and I went to the lesbian. Her story archives in the basement of Lesbian Her story archives. I was going through all of their cassettes for WBAI shows. I didn't find anything thing that reached back that was applicable to what we were looking for but out of the corner of my eye in the basement I saw a box of open. Reel you've you. Which is an older style of audio? Recording then cassettes would be. So what is can you describe. What Open Reel Recording is is you see in the movies or in photographs an actual real of tape. Yes these are the big reels. These are like three inch five inch the seven inch ten inch and I didn't know what was in this box when I saw it but I went upstairs to the volunteer archivist. I Rachel Gordon and I asked her if I could go through it and right there in the middle of the box. I pulled out this recording that was labeled star. I was afraid to open at because some of these tapes. They're so fragile when they're fifty Sixty seventy years old. They are so fragile that you can destroy them and I know how difficult it is to get archival material surrounding star. Yeah so what did you when you saw this. Besides being afraid that you would you could possibly damage the tape I mean it's almost like finding the holy we grow. You know you WANNA listen to it immediately when you find a tape like that and you can't why couldn't you just play it. Well for one there are some tapes that as you play. They will erase when they're fifty years old. So you will listen to it but nobody else will. So if you WANNA have a tape digitize like that what do you do. We took the tape to a studio in Harlem called Old Swan Studios that specializes in this type of digitisation. I took so much care when I took it out of that building I I was so afraid of damaging it it was like I had ten thousand dollars in my backpack and couldn't let anyone near it so I arrived at Swansea in Harlem and Robert. The sound engineer started rewinding the tape and when he did every single manual edit snapped. Oh my so. This is an edited. This was an that was done. That was then edited. And and and how do they edit tape. Well they had to take it physically and slice it and then with adhesive give glue at packed together so each and every time it hit one of these physical edits it would snap which for me was terrifying. But for him was just run of the mill he would just take the two ends reapply adhesive and keep rewinding it once he rebounded. What did he do next? Well he was kind enough to let me sit in the studio and listen to it as he played it for the first time and I knew I was listening to something very special. What made it special special for me? Because they're not just talking about the organization that they created they're also talking about their lives and they're talking about how they see the world around them and how they see gender. It's very personal. They're not altering the same line. What did you take away from hearing that recording? I think it reminded me of how young everyone was. Then I think the March Johnson and Sylvia Rivera that I've grown accustomed to. They were older by at the time. the film that I've seen of them the video that I've seen of them the recordings that I've listened to from them. They had more time under their belt. And this it was it was like they were freshly ride in New York and just letting it all about the quality of tape. You're about to hear in this remarkable and far-ranging conversation is a bit uneven. In addition to a snippet of Jefferson an airplane. You'll also notice hissing in the background. During part of the discussion anyone who has ever lived in an Old New York City apartment will recognize that sound. It's coming coming from faulty valve of esteem heat radiator. The first person to speak is nineteen year old Sylvia Rivera. The second is someone named Victor and the third is Marcia Johnson who was twenty five at the time before my mother passed away three years my mother used to Jesmyn Golf Clubs and my mother. My grandmother kept on one little blouses and girls stocks of about six seven years old. Before if I wouldn't start addressing boys 'cause during that period that's when I discovered my homosexuality was like you know watching television and placed in myself and the role of the female or just pricing myself As another there's another boy in the Mail on demand was praying such a fantastic love role in the television. And and when I left home at eleven was really when I went into transparent system and make hustling speech and the game against experiences. DIFFERENT THAN SYLVIA'S I. I didn't know secretly because My mother would catch me. She would forbid it. And by the time I was five years old I knew enough that Do these things secretly So I used to and no one was around to put on a and wear women's clothes close. I can get my hands on but otherwise I grew up quite masculine. I went to school. I played baseball. I went to college so and the beard and was the revolutionary did time in jail for Pacifist demonstrations and and Just recently I I decided what's You know why not wear the clothes. I prefer to wear what I was. I was the time I was living a masculine role that I didn't really prefer at least I didn't prefer to do it. Permanent preferred the times to be feminine And women's Lib people Feel that the women are forced to take certain roles which are unacceptable to them and they want to break out no. I've often felt the same way about being a man that I've been forced to take certain roles number one something as unimportant as the clothes I have to wear men's restrictions. Men's dress are much more severe than the restrictions on women's dress of men are forced to look a certain way and I didn't want to look that way then then of course there's a man has to be tough. He has to have responsibility to take care of people. You know suppose I wanted to be petted or I wanted to be taken care of. As I was growing up I met a lot of men. They never pale to me to my sexually. I used to try and keep away from because my hometown. You mistakes where you were out of it and they recall you all kinds of names And then when I first came in York seventeen years old that's when I started getting kind of invest breath more like a transvestite. I started out with makeup in nineteen sixty three nine thousand nine hundred sixty four And in one thousand nine hundred sixty five. I was coming out more and I was still wearing make up but I was still going to jail just wearing doing makeup in one thousand nine hundred sixty nine. I started wearing female attire full-time usually I wear dress every day of the week. I I just don't put on much makeup anything until after the dog because address too much attention if we make in the daytime they might think that I was a male. Al But if I were a little makeup they think I'm a female and he's right on I and if I will not make it night they automatically know female female they really can tell the difference about me because I'm on my way to be. SX teams

Sylvia Rivera New York City Marcia Johnson Sylvia Marsha New York Public Library Manhattan Greenwich Village Harlem Liza Cowan Brooklyn Rachel Gordon Old Swan Studios Marsha P Johnson Reporter Wbai Brian Baseball Sylvia York New York