35 Burst results for "Jennie"
DerrickTalk
A highlight from "Jeezy & Jennie Mai Seemed To Truly Be In Love...What Happened ?"
"Welcome to a Sunday edition of Convo Over Cigars. I'm your host, Derrick Andre Flemming, and I want to talk about something that I think, you know, it, some people say, well, why do, why do people care? Is their business? I get it. They're celebrities. They're high profile people, but that's their business. The divorce between Young Jeezy and is it Jenny Mai, the former talk show host from The Real, they seem so in love. And this is what I think is a little bit confusing about the divorce. The fact that our Young Jeezy recently filed for divorce in Fulton County, Georgia. After they posted so many pictures, him trying to adapt to her culture. Of course, I think she is, is a Filipino. She's from, she's not African American. She definitely is a woman who is from another culture. So I think the fact that Jeezy showed that he was trying to acclimate to her traditions, her culture, they had a baby together, Monaco. I think the baby is what, two? I'm not sure. Don't quote me. But here, here is the problem that I have with the Young Jeezy filing for divorce. So many women, specifically women of color, African American women are excited that he filed for divorce. They're saying things like, well, why was he with her in the first place? You know, hey, he should have known better. Here's, she's not black, you know, stick with your own kind, stick with your race. Anytime somebody files for divorce, that means that that was a last ditch effort. That means that they tried everything, but they just couldn't make it work. Unfortunately, who is going to suffer in this situation is baby Monaco. The baby's going to suffer, the child, the daughter. Adults sometimes can't make it work. Regardless of how hard they fight, it just isn't working. But we should not be clapping and applauding that somebody had to file for divorce. Because this is, again, another young black child that is going to be raised by a single mother. Let's just be clear. And Jeannie Mai, she's not a black woman, and I can understand the sisterhood that African American women seem to have. But still, it is very unfortunate that he had to file for divorce, and he was separated before he filed for divorce. That means that they had kind of like irreconcilable, irreconcilable differences. Let's not applaud people's downfall. Let's not applaud divorce. Divorce is nothing to be happy about. I think there are people, and I'm happy that some people actually have said, we hope they work it out. We hope they get back together. We hope they can come to some type of an agreement. Divorce is not pretty. And these are two people that I think really loved one another. I definitely think that Jeannie Mai loved Young Jeezy. I think it was something different for her. Many people are saying, hey, you know, she said that black men are only great for a side dish, that she was married to a white man, that Jeezy was more like a fetish for her. Maybe at first. But I think as she began to learn more about him, his culture, his background, the fact that he came from humble beginnings, he's from the trap, he was a dope boy. I think she tried to do her best to be a good wife to Jeezy. And there are people that are saying Jeezy used her to enhance his career, that he was on a downfall. You know, now he has a book, Adversity for Sale, that's on the New York Times bestseller list. She basically made Young Jeezy relevant again, Jay Jenkins. So my thoughts, I just hope they work it out. I have my personal opinions, but I just hope they can work it out for the sake of the baby. And I hope that Jeezy thinks about what he's doing. I haven't heard anything from Jeannie Mai at all. She's been very silent. Obviously, she's going to break her silence at some point. But we're definitely rooting that they work it out and get back together. You guys have been locked into another edition, a Sunday edition of Convo Over Cigars. I'm of course your host, Derrick Andre Flemming. Take care.
DerrickTalk
Jeezy Says "See Ya" And Files For Divorce From Wife Of 2 Years Jennie Mai
"Welcome to Convo Over Cigars. I'm your host Derek Andre Flemming. Some kind of bad news for rapper Young Jeezy. Jeezy is one of my favorite rappers. He's from Columbia, South Carolina. I know he hails from South Carolina as I do. Rapper Young Jeezy has filed for divorce from his wife of two years, Jeannie Mai. The couple share a daughter, Monica Mai Jenkins. Sources say that J Jenkins, aka Young Jeezy, had already separated from Jeannie before filing for divorce. The two met on her previous talk show, The Real, which was canceled back in 2022 after eight seasons. The couple showed no sign of distress or any problems. She definitely supported Jeezy when he came out with his new book, Adversity for Sale. She was extremely supportive when he released the book, so no one saw this coming. But obviously, like I said, he had already separated from her. The crazy part about this particular story, their union in general, Jeannie Mai had said some things in the past that, you know, I think I'm kind of paraphrasing. Well, she said that you don't really marry or date black men. You just kind of have them on the side. They're kind of like a, you know, like a plaything when she was actually married to a Caucasian man, if I'm not mistaken. So there were people and there still are people who say that Jeannie Mai is just kind of like an undercover racist or she has these racial tendencies. She says some things that are a little bit off color. So there were a lot of women, especially African -American women, who say that, you know, why was Jeezy even with this woman in the first place? Why did he even marry her? You know, Jeezy straight off from the hood, you know, even though he's very, very successful, very wealthy rapper who came out the trap. You know, you know, he marries a woman who is I think she's a Filipino descent, if I'm not mistaken. Don't quote me. But so there are a lot of women, particularly who are clapping, who are plotting this split. The fact that Jay Jenkins, a .k .a. Young Jeezy, has filed for divorce from his wife of two years. The couple was together for a total of four years, but they've only been married for two. Fortunately, there was also a prenuptial agreement in place. So Jeannie Mai comes into the marriage, well, leaves the marriage with everything she came in with. So does Jay Jenkins, a .k .a. Young Jeezy. We're going to keep you guys abreast of what's going on with this developing story again. Rapper Young Jeezy files for divorce from his wife of two years. You guys have been locked into another edition of Combo of Cigars. I'm your host, Derek Andre Flemming on a Friday. Everybody take care. Have a great weekend, guys.
Dr. Drew Podcast
"jennie" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast
"It into things generally, it probably goes both ways, but you generally see things sort of slowly extinguish or do they stay kind of heightened and then suddenly extinguish. So with fear, we usually see I've been seeing things extinguished pretty quickly, so it's afraid of afraid of freight and that it's like holy shit. I have been limiting my life so much because of this. That's sort of typical of my understanding of how fear of flying goes to. Fear of flying, it comes out of nowhere. And then gone. And it goes away because of that kind of an insight, something like that. Exactly. And was something like a, right? It's still gross. I still don't want to vomit, right? And so I'm still like oh my God, it just occurs to me. There's all kinds of horrible YouTube and stuff out there. You could expose people to so I actually, I was feeling a little nauseous and I thought, okay, this is a great exposure to it. Like, I asked people to do scary things all day long. I thought, well, I clearly don't want to be sick. I'm like, okay, Jenny. Let's really lean into this nausea. So I ate everything that like, right? I had like red sauce for dinner, you know? I tried to work on it. And then by the end of the night, I was vomiting. I was vomiting and good experience. Well, so in the middle of vomiting, I was like, fuck, I gotta go get my voice memos so I can record this and get some vomit content, you know? And but then I didn't. I just continued vomiting. And then later I said, okay, what a missed opportunity. And if I feel like throwing up again, I'm so I recorded it. I told one of my clients, I'm like, I got some really great bomb con for you. If they were like, oh my God. You are committed therapist. For sure. I'm so appreciate this. Well, we got to kind of wrap things up here. Are you and I could talk all day. Anything did we miss anything? Anything else you want people to know about the services you guys provide and where you are and is there anything online? Is there do you do stuff through telehealth? What's the spectrum of what people get access to? Yeah, great. So we are entirely telehealth right now, we're realizing that with a lot of these exposures, it's best that we are in your house anyway. You must intimate places. And so the telehealth is providing such a wonderful platform for this sort of connection and it really does save people a lot of money in terms of therapists travel. Now I don't have to Bill you to drive to your house or anything like that. And now that people are, if you're in a rural area, you have a lot easier access to really great treatment. So you can get on our wait list at West Coast anxiety dot com. I'm currently in the process of hiring new clinicians. And so if you're a clinician listening to this and you are devoted to exposure and response prevention and really supporting people who are struggling with anxiety and anxiety related disorders, give me a shout and I'm in the hiring process to. It seemed to me that telehealth would let itself to CBT also. Are you doing CBT with some of your services? Oh yeah, yeah. Acceptance and commitment therapy is third way of CBT. It sort of takes a stance less that we need to change your thoughts and more that we need to change the relationship to your thoughts. And so I think whatever you want and let's hold that a little bit more loosely. So yes, yes. CBT is happening in these contexts as well. Great. That's very exciting, Jenny. I mean, the world has been sort of looking for a way to deliver mental health services through electronic media because it has to happen. And many have failed. And I always thought there would be certain services that were really lend itself to this to this stuff. It's hard to do psychiatry through this. But CBT, exposure therapies, it makes perfect sense to me. There's a great organization. I don't know if you're a part of. It's the international obsessive compulsive disorder federation. IOC do you have? Yeah, how does CDF dot org I hope you're on their referral list and stuff. They're really, you should go speak. You've been to other conferences? So been in their conference, actually did they have their BTT I training. It's behavioral therapy, training, institute. That's where I did all of my exposure and response prevention training. I want all of my therapist to be trained through IOC DFs, BTT I that is the gold standard for the industry in terms of treating OCD and in anxiety disorders. So again, weird, I spoke for them about 7 or 8 years ago, something like that. And I was like, oh my God, this is the greatest diagnostic specific patient centered organization I've ever seen. And it was just wonderful. If anxiety, phobias, OCD, I urge everyone to check that out. And check out West Coast anxiety. Jenny, as always, it is inspiring in a privilege of talk to every time I talk to you. So thank you for all the great work and good luck with the kids. It will be a humbling experience. I promise. Thanks, too. And thank you for being a secure base for me to always come back to. I really, really appreciate you. It is appreciated on my end, and
Dr. Drew Podcast
"jennie" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast
"To some extent that reinforced this idea that things are inherently scary and that clients could only handle things in this sort of like progressing order. And so the way that I go about structuring it is that we will create an exposure menu. And we pick some adventures for you, some experiences for you. And the first few so we'll create 15, 20 different experiences. And then the first few, you'll choose. What are you willing to do? What are you willing to experience? No matter what shows up. And we'll do those first. And then what I like to do is I assign everything a random number because the universe doesn't give a shit about the order in which you want to do things. And then we have Google. We random number generator and that's how we decide what you do. And then we spend anywhere from 16 to 22 weeks, doing these experiments and seeing what happens and seeing a given example of just take a particularly like an exposure to a snake or whatever, go ahead. Sure. So in working with a meta phobia. So a meta phobia is this fear of vomit, right? And let's see, the exposure menu looked like listening to somebody vomit, seeing somebody vomit, smelling, vomit, seeing the word vomit, drinking alcohol, because I might vomit. I vomit, ordering chicken from restaurant. I don't know how that chicken is cooked. I can't do that. Eating leftovers that have been in the fridge for more than two days. Gosh, do you ever have to make you have to ever give somebody an emetic and make them vomit? Because they get so rigidly, as they go through it, do they usually make it? Well, so one of the things that we started playing around with was like putting your fingers in your throat and feeling the sensation, right? This is somebody that had no binge purge history. And so even there, you know, and so practicing curiosity as she oh, that's interesting. We're back there like touching the dangler and it's like, what does that feel like and seeing if you can experience this from this stance of curiosity instead of this stance of, oh my God, I'm going to throw up if I touch this. Pick up that glass of Pinot Grigio or your drink of choice and come have some fun with us on turtle time. We're going
Dr. Drew Podcast
"jennie" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast
"And so then suddenly you just thinking, Jesus, all day long, but it touches pedophile. And so nothing you do will ever disconnect those two. And yeah, the strategies that you're using to solve the problems, our next solving the problems. And that helps add to the anxiety. Yeah. And so do you want people to whom you want to come to West Coast anxiety? I mean, so I work primarily with people who have OCD, I do a lot of OCD work a lot. Isn't that interesting? That kind of thing? I do exposure therapy in about I'd say a 100% of my panel right now is doing some form of exposure therapy. So it's hard to be able to know. It's really important. And I think everybody has sort of understands particularly vividly things like phobias and fears and stuff like that. And maybe you can sort of talk about how you treat those things. And then more generally, OCD. Yeah, so one of the issues with. OCD is that we're sort of training ourselves to try and escape something that is really inescapable, right? Like I said earlier, anxiety serves this function and it is something that provides us an opportunity to learn. And what does anxiety teach us? If we allow the experience of anxiety, we learn like one of four things. One, we learned the thing that we were anxious about didn't happen, or it wasn't as severe as we thought, right? We can go swimming in the ocean and not get eaten by shark today, right? Or we learn that we can survive it. It turns out, I went swimming in the ocean, I got attacked by a shark. Now I have this huge shark bite and like, I made it. Like, okay. Might be less inclined to look back. I have a huge shark bite, and you know what? Where are we? Now there's a Netflix documentary about it. Right. I worry a little bit about controlling that narrative. But here we are, you know? We also learned that we can live with anxiety. We can live full and meaningful lives with anxiety. We learned that the things that we're doing to keep ourselves safe. Like counting to ten before we get in the water or seeing Jesus every time I think the word pedophile, that those aren't actually necessary to keep us safe. They aren't really serving a function, right? I learned when I stopped drinking that I don't actually need alcohol to connect intimately with people, right? That's actually one of the things that's preventing me from connecting intimately. And then when we, when we allow the experience of anxiety to happen without fighting against it, we also learn that anxiety itself is a totally safe experience, right? It is a 100% safe to see anxiety. There's nothing dangerous about it. A panic attack, a 100% safe, right? We don't think it's safe. And then we start fighting against it. Well, yeah, I also, again, as somebody experiences all these things you're talking about or had. I had trouble allowing my brain to feel things like emptiness and fear and stuff without the other present. I do think it's important to point out, we do need other people, somebody who is deeply attuned to us, therapist, something like that, to really make some of these things possible for us. And that it was my experience of that's what settled that all down. Yeah. Yeah, and I think that that is one of the most important things about finding somebody that you can really trust and connect with, and who is skilled in the art of exposure therapy. It is hard for me to describe what that means because I think people don't get what that is, yeah. Sure. So with regard to this idea of like allowing yourself to experience the experience of anxiety, right? Sounds real fucking therapy, but really what that is all saying is that in exposure therapy, we expose you to something that you're afraid of, we allow anxiety to do what it does to run its full life course inside of you it might go high and might go low. It might look like a heartbeat, right? But it does what it does, and we just don't interfere with that. And then we see what there is to learn. And we do this over and over and over and over, right? So with this example of pedophile and Jesus, we think about how powerful it is terrible things, right? But this is one of the common OCD themes. And so we think this word and we don't interfere with anxiety that shows up when we think this word, and then we learn something. How do you decide? I have no real training in this. I've been around a lot of therapists to do this work. How do you decide how to step up the exposure? That's always been mysterious to me. Is there a calculus you're doing? Is it an instinct? In describe what I'm even talking about. Sure, sure. So at the beginning of treatment, what we do is we will create an exposure list that will target the things that you're most afraid of. And that list initially when exposure and response prevention started to get its legs in the mental health field, they would structure it as a hierarchy. This idea that some things are scarier than other things for people and we would tackle them in order of scariness, right? So is thinking the word pedophile, less scary than sitting in a park. I don't know why I'm really stuck on this idea. You know what? It's one of the most taboo things to talk about. And so I feel sort of pulled to talk about that here. So people do too. People get these weird thoughts. That's right. And so it's a totally normal, it's a totally normal thing in the constellation of OCD, and it's a pedophile is just a word that comes to your brain if you don't. If you care about kids and you don't want them. And you don't want it to. Yeah, exactly. You don't want it to. And so we initially exposure and response prevention would ask us to structure these exposure hierarchies with this idea that things are scarier than other things. And then we would tackle it in order of scariness to help build some efficacy as you start to go along things. What the research has started to show is that
Dr. Drew Podcast
"jennie" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast
"Let's define anxiety. And I kind of feel like there's different, well, there's no doubt. There's a different flavors of anxiety. And tell me about your perception of that. Sure. So I think it's helpful to distinguish first fear from anxiety, right? Fear is an emotional response to a present threat. Directed. It is happening right now. As a source. Exactly, right? So I'm swimming in the ocean. I'm being attacked by a shark. I am afraid of being killed by this shark, right? Anxiety is anticipated. Fear. It involves this sort of like cognitive work of what's to come. I'm standing on the beach. I'm looking out in the ocean. I'm imagining myself being eaten by this shark. And I'm cognitively working through like, oh, this is going to happen, right? There's this sort of predictive quality to it. Anticipatory. Different than panic. Yeah, which is just the maximum fear. Spiraling out of control fear. Out of control. Right, exactly. Is. Do you perceive this about anxiety that there's something in it, I'm no expert in anxiety, so I'm asking you is the expert that there are people when the experience anxiety, they get depressed, right? Like it leads them to depression, somehow overwhelms them and makes them depressed. And there are other people that when they are depressed is when they feel their most anxious. Have you seen that? And then I feel like the ones that are depressed and move towards anxiety tend to have more of an OCD flavor of anxiety. It's associated with OCD, other stuff, which does seem to link into some kinds of anxiety. You tell me. So there's some pretty good data on some sequencing in terms of so anxiety is functional, right? Like as humans, evolutionarily, being able to experience anxiety has served us well. And we had been selected for our capacity to be anxious, right? Like you and I are the children of the children and the children and the children of the children who were worried about going out into the field and being attacked by the bear. So we went back to the fucking hunt. That's where we went. And so in terms of anxiety's functionality, anxiety tells us to prepare to plan to get our ducks in order. So that we don't die, right? And when we experience anxiety and we try to fight against anxiety, like no, I shouldn't feel this. I don't want to feel this. I don't need to write. We sort of start to hide away. And we start to power down, right? Well, what is depression? Depression is this like powering down of the system, right? It's like I'm not going to do anything. Depression itself is a constellation of physiological responses, right? So physical symptoms, cognitive symptoms, and emotional symptoms, right? So often like lethargy or just feeling like a really, really tired, negative thoughts, like negative self evaluations, and then sadness and hopelessness, right? Like, oh, I could never, I can't get out of this. There's nothing I can do about this, right? So if you think about the sequencing in terms of anxiety shows up, it's like we need to prepare for action. We fight against anxiety. We're like, I shouldn't feel this way. And then suddenly we're depressed. It is what I've noticed for sure that the powerlessness, the sort of overwhelming quality of it. Yeah. But how about the people that have this sort of OCD thing? That's sort of my zone. I know I have a lot of OCD quality to my brain function. And I've noticed a lot of other anxious people tend to have that. I guess that's that rehearsal and planning and all that nonsense that you get carried away with. Sure. Well, and I think if you think about depression in terms of the size of your life, right? Like how big is your life when you are super depressed? Strokes have constricted. It's really constrictive, right? And when OCD is dominating your life, when you are trying to get away from these private psychological events, I think that's really what OCD is, right? You're like, I can't have this thought, get it out. I can't have this feeling, get it out, right? But they live inside of you. You literally can not escape the experience, right? And so you create all these behaviors and all these behaviors end up shrinking your life, right? And so there's pretty good data. There's really good data that the more problems we get, the more likely we are to be depressed. And more depressed we are, the less skilled we are at solving problems. Our brains just don't work as well, right? And so you think about OCD as the ultimate problem solving machine, right? How do I get this thought out of my head? How do I get the word pedophile out of my head? Oh, I think Jesus Jesus. Jesus.
Dr. Drew Podcast
"jennie" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast
"After I went into training for becoming a therapist, I sort of hunkered down and stopped sharing those really, really intimate details of my life in this sort of ongoing. Kind of way. Here in this context, yes, but. But I would argue that, I don't know, people need to see the stories, the evolution, the struggle, the how works, how people get through, how they can so I don't think you should look at it pejoratively. I understand why you want to put a boundary around it. Now I get that totally. But I think it really is very helpful to people because they are just so they just don't get it. The world is just, I was listening to one of the smartest guys I know podcast, guy named Lex Friedman. And he was talking to a psychiatrist about personality structure and things. And I thought, oh my God, and the psychiatrist, you know how it is in mental health. We can all disagree on certain things. But the things that this guy was saying, I was like, this guy is spot on everything he's saying. And I thought, oh, and lex remix can't get his head around it. He doesn't get how he must psychology works. I thought, wow, a smartest guy, no, can't get it. And so I do think these experiential stories and things really have a place. So thank you for sharing it. I guess the way to say it. Yeah, and thank you for setting the stage for me to continue sharing and I think I actually have a documentary company from the UK reached out to me and we're talking about doing a documentary on me as I built this company and as I start to expand in this field and profession and so, you know, I have had some fear around doing so. Make sure you have some sort of right of first refusal or whatever, some control over it. Yeah, I was watching this thing, this documentary on Netflix called Gunther's millions. You might watch it. It is a full scale. Sweep of multiple levels of sacraments and genesis and Sega pathology. I mean, just like, really out there stuff. And the guy who was the subject of it because he was so far gone. I think, I don't want to put labels on anybody, but really, really, didn't understand how sick he himself was, subjected himself to this thing where I thought I bet he's not going to feel great about this. And then, of course, the documentarians didn't understand what they were documenting. Kind of kept trying to gloss. That makes sense and things like that. This is awful on awful on awful and just like people need to go to prison over some of the stuff. But anyway, be careful. Maybe it's why I'm depressed today. I was exposed to the last night. I think there is fear doesn't come out of nowhere, right? It is grounded in reality and, you know, I think especially given the bigger context of media and of the sort of like on wielding of narratives and how I guess susceptible we are to yeah, you blink and you suddenly read perceived in totally different ways, right? So that's a good segue into anxiety. Let's talk about anxiety. So I'm really interested in the anxiety became your crucible, I guess. Tell me how that happened. Yeah, so. In hindsight, I think that anxiety has been an ongoing issue for me for quite some time. There's some social anxiety, which seems sort of silly and out of place given my history of porn star. And starts to sort of make sense diagnostically when you're like, oh, well, I used a fake name, right? So there's a state to behavior. I drank a lot in social situations, used cocaine and marijuana and social situations felt very uncomfortable in social situations without those sort of safety behaviors available to me. And I think that in terms of I'm really sort of conceptualizing my experience in our time together and moving out of that in a little bit of a different light in that I think that I got pretty rigidly attached to this idea of who I could be. I mean, we've talked a little bit about this. Like the penny flame, this very clear concise narrative of a human, you know, it has no feelings. It's just like horny all the time. And I got pick up pretty rigidly attached to that. And the prospect of having options was terrifying. And I think it's role in May who says that the anxiety is nothing more than the presence of options. And so yes, and when you start entertaining options, it gets scary, right? You don't know what the consequences are going to be or what it means. I always think about at least a part of that being connected to the spontaneous things we call feelings and things that come out of our body. And I do personally experience a lot of anxiety for me is generated from being disconnected from feeling states. That sort of was my primary work, which was wiring, hooking that all back up. And for some reason, anxiety was all I could feel when I wasn't having this connection to this thing we call self and spontaneous feelings from our body and that kind of thing. Do you see much of that stuff? I see anxiety being the noisiest emotion and the one that is most easy to pay attention to. It's through, right, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, it's almost impossible to drown that one out. Is very, very noisy. And these bodies are very noisy too. And then when we start to have these noisy embodied experiences of anxiety and then the incessant chatter of mind and its evaluations and its judgments about that anxiety and it's all of the contemplations and predictions that go along with it, just sort of like reinforce this anxious body doing what it does, which is preparing us to run away from scary animals, right? And so, you know, with I think about my experience and it's like there was I was riddled with anxiety and it was me and the Heidi hole. You know, it was like I just got to get to the high level. That's when I'll be safe. Like I just have to get there and a lot of my recovery and health and just mental wellness has been in learning how to be here. And present and sort of allow myself to lay in the field and smell the dandelions and that's so weird. You keep using language that I had in my own recovery and so on to me. It's really interesting. Because I had this image of fields by the sort of by the shore kind of thing, like some sort of grass by the shore. I'm Tapping into your somehow, it's coming across with we are connected. Shared consciousness. It is a thing. It is a thing. Totally. And by the way, that's sort of what you sort of become very, very good at when you're talking about being present and feeling other people and being around them. You get very good of receiving what the other person has got. And it's one interesting thing, and then I want you to find some for me. One is that I do see very commonly people that have very performance Y kinds of lives or personalities often disguise themselves as shy, social anxiety. It's like some sort of interesting compensation. And as you said, oftentimes that thing they put out there is a cartoon version of themselves and the real self isn't in the background somewhere. Yeah. Yeah, and I think that I had been I had really missed the formative years where I got to clearly define what is important to me. What are my values, right? These are these values as freely chosen things that are important to us, given to us as kids, right? And then I started doing porn when I was 18, you know? And so all of those transitional moments where we get to reflect and choose the people that we want to become, I have been so busy crafting this indestructible, untouchable identity that when we started to dismantle that in sex rehab, I was like, what the fuck is like what?
Dr. Drew Podcast
"jennie" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast
"It didn't cut the language you're using is so interesting to me because these are exactly the sorts of images I had in my own treatment. I remember in therapy sort of going, I can't so I feel like I'm being asked to walk like a baby Doe or something. The wiring is not there. It's just not there yet. Eventually it was. Totally. There's a researcher, the guy who one of the guys who started act acceptance and commitment therapy talks a lot about what is actually required of babies in order to learn to walk, right? It's something like, they do some crazy number of steps an hour like what a thousand, 5000. And then even to pivot is like 300 steps to learn how to pivot. And you know about that in terms of our own behavior changes in these changes. It was unrealistic at the very least for me to expect my mom to be able to show up in a way that she has never shown up in her life. So at a certain point, it's fascinating, though, is your dad was, right? And as I recall, he had a really he's a really serious drug problem, didn't he? Along the way? Well, he had a drug problem in his youth when he started working for Chevron. They drug tested. And he chose to well, he didn't just sobriety, but he chose not to use drugs. Like he would still drink. He pickled his liver. He died from liver cancer and cirrhosis of liver. So but he, when he had a little bit of time off at one point, he jumped back into using cocaine and that's when that whole like him overdosing happened, I was like, 9, and he overdosed and I called the ambulance and that was sort of a shit show and a very vibrant memory in my life. And after that, he actually didn't use cocaine for the remainder of his life working for Chevron. Interestingly enough, after he died, I found out that he had started to use cocaine again, which just sort of like, you know, it makes me think about like if I am not drinking because of their because there's some external reward. You know, the second you take away that reward is the second that I start drinking again, right? The thing that keeps me sober is this intrinsic like I have some pretty important values in my life and every day that I choose not to drink, I am walking towards those in aligned with those values. And I don't know that my dad ever identified those values for himself explicitly. Take away the cookie and he's like, well, what the fuck am I gonna do here, right? Yeah, no, it's right. We always tell people it's when you build this thing. It's when it becomes self sustaining because there's so much gratitude and things you're getting from it that it helps helps fight that drive. That system. So distorted. And now you have two kids. What are the ages now? So Sadie is she turns. She turns a year March 7, so that's crazy. And then elsie is, she just turned 5 years old. And is it any shocks for you now about this process? We call parenting now that you've done your own stuff and you're training and everything. Yeah. And I, you know, drew, I have done objectively and measurably crazy shit in my life. Objectively crazy show. It's kind of crazy shit. But measurably crazy. Really crazy. Google measurably shit in my life. And parenting is probably the craziest thing I've ever done. It is such a rich and complex experience. And it provides me with so many opportunities to learn about who I can be, you know? In each moment and God, I just, even now I'm like, oh, this is so important to me. I just love those little humans so, so much. You're so fucking cool. So you literally just learned how to put a rock in her little plastic dump truck and push it through and I am just over the moon. I'm like, who are you? Like, who is this child? Was this genius? That's so funny. And so talk to me, do you have another book now, too, we should be talking about? Or do you want to talk about the old one or both? Well, so I put together this workbook for like a 30 day social media abstinence challenge basically. And I sent it out to some publishers and didn't hear back. I think I have some refining to do on it. I think I also, so anyway, yes, I do have, I do have a book, no it has not been published yet. It's still sort of in process. And between that and the parenting and then opening this business, I am confronted so, so frequently with my own perfectionist. Unworkable strategies that I think that's where my current growth is happening the most is in like, oh, we could be a little bit more kind of or we could set a little bit more realistic expectations. Oh, it doesn't have to be perfect and like the biggest thing the first time, so and it's becoming Jenny's still out there. It still exists. I don't write it anymore.
Dr. Drew Podcast
"jennie" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast
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Dr. Drew Podcast
"jennie" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast
"How I approached relationships. Interesting. Of course, I was there when you were crawling, you were coming up from the ground floor. And so that stuff didn't, I didn't see that stuff as vividly. Don't you find it a little bit on. I mean, as a therapist now, that was through the math. 16, 14 years ago, and I have this vivid memory of it still. Like yesterday. Yeah. Me too. I mean, I have memories of talking to you and feeling like I had been on my even thinking of it now. It all just like rushes in. I have these like really, really vivid memories of talking to you in the trailer and feeling like I had been in this dark dark room. And some of the work that we did was like, God, it was a, it was just a little candle in it, you know? And I hadn't even considered that light could exist in this room that I've been in, you know? And I think about that moment now and how inspiring and how that just like thought it really gave me hope that I could have something other than what I believed I could have. And for other people that feel on their ass, Jenny, I didn't do anything. I was just there. You know what I mean? I was just present. And you know what I mean? That's what you need is somebody present who sees you and lets you feel felt. Sure. That's what I did. What Jenny did was grab the bull by the horns and kept going. And that's the part that I'm always so grateful for. And maybe you can speak to this as a therapist. That's the part that's my daughter's now like 15 months in recovery. And to watch her grab it on day one and go. It's like, oh my God, it's so magical when people do that. Has nothing to do with me. I can't do much about it. I can help along the way. I can applaud. I can help refine things because I know what she's exactly what she's dealing with. I can't do that for somebody. Do you feel like you can? I mean, I certainly can't do that for someone and I hear the way that you minimize your contributions to our lives and like, I don't know, is that really, is that helpful for you? Not today. Exactly, helping my depression say thank you for that. What you just witnessed was something called therapeutic wonderment. Employed by Jenny ketchup, which is, I don't know. I don't know. Does that work for you? They're making you better. Which is perfect. By do do some of that stuff in the room. That's for sure. But I'll tell you what it is. I think humility is very, very, very important in the process of recovery, particularly, and my patients often remind me of that. You know what I mean? They're just like, yeah, yeah, you were there, but God really led me or I really did. Some out something came in from the outside and I was just there receiving receiving them to help them form these attacks. In the early phases, that's kind of what you do. You create, like you said, a model for closeness, so the light can turn on. The candle can flicker. Yeah, and I think that our model for closeness, the model for closeness that I built with Jill, the model for closeness that I built with reef Kareem, so let me remind Jill was our sex therapist. She was an expert in this at the thing we did for sex rehab and then reef Kareem is a psychiatrist who very kindly took over for Jenny. And but again, you went and showed up and made the appointments and it took all the initiative. It's not the most common thing. Whenever I talk to parents that are struggling with their kids, I always go, look, yeah, they're very, very sick, but are they engaged? Are they in the process? Do they want it? And when you want it, it works. Pretty simple. Yeah, it's true. It's true. And I think of it a lot like as a kid, right? The parent builds this secure bubble for attachment, right? And then the kids job is to go out and explore and experience and they toddle around the room. They put shit in their mouths, they make bigger and bigger loops and then the parents job is really to hold this space for the kid to come back to the safe and secure. And I think that's really what the three of you did for me and now that I am in the position to be of service in that way, like what an honor. What an honor. Yeah, no, I know. I know exactly what you mean. It's a privilege, right? It's a privilege to witness people's experience and it's a part of humanity that not everybody gets to see. And it's a humbling privilege. And it's interesting you bring up what used to be called rapprochement. I don't know if they called that anymore in your training, but the going and coming that the child does back to the secure base. I had very little of that in childhood, but I had a shit ton of it in treatment. And it really, really helping. Really, really helps. Yeah, yeah. I think I got that from my dad. There were some fractures there, but I think he was pretty secure. I think when I got from my mom was like, I could come back and it would be safe in as much as I showed up in very particular ways in reflected with very particular image. Right. Right. For her. And again, she's the person that was seeking attachment from your dad using drugs. So she's still around. Is she okay? She's alive. She actually, so I sort of, so speaking of attachment, you know, one of the things that happens is that when baby comes back and mom doesn't pay attention to baby, baby just sort of gives up at a certain point, right? And so at a certain point, this baby just sort of gave up. I was like, I could reach out to my mom. I think she really, really struggled when I gave up drinking. And when I started making these shifts in my life, another thing that you have said to me that is something that I give to my clients is this idea of relationships is locks and keys, right? Yeah. A 100% and the shape of my lock really changed. And the shape of her, he did not change. And so there was, I think it was probably really painful for her. It's at least uncomfortable for them. Oh, for sure. Yeah, you know, early and sobriety, I think, like many early and sobriety people I was not afraid to point out the ways in which her continued use did not serve us. And that's such a dodgy conversation to have with someone who's not in this space to have that conversation. It is. It never really goes great. But after all, I mean, you were asking mom to support your recovery. That's not an unreasonable thing. I just want her to show up and see me, right? And that's also like akin to asking somebody to walk who just doesn't have legs, right? I don't know. Having some distance from it now, I don't know that she actually had the skill to be there in the way that I needed her to be there for me. Everyone is
Dr. Drew Podcast
"jennie" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast
"FedEx, where now meets next. Everybody welcome doctor podcast. We appreciate you all being here. Like I always say, do you support people that support us and do check out some of the other stuff we're doing. The streaming shows are really getting a lot of traction and interest from people that's over Dr. Drew TV. It is generally speaking 3 o'clock Pacific time Tuesday Wednesday Thursday that we do move that one around a little bit, though the Wednesday at three, we never miss, which is with doctor Kelly victory, who's an ER doctor and public health trained physician who sees things a little differently than I do. And I think we're going to get into more and more stuff where she and I diverge more and more on ideas, and we tend to talk to people that don't have other outlets. Then as you might imagine, some of the ideas are kind of, but even so, I always learn new things that I had not thought of did not know. And so it's really important that we just sort of open ourselves to other ideas. The whole notion of misinformation and disinformation totally new and alien idea for me was always interesting ideas that help us clarify our own. That's how we always looked at it, but now all that has a sort of negative negative blush to it. Today has no negativity. We are talking to Jenny ketchum crooks. She's mastered social work from University of Washington 2016. Her post and clinical training was at polyclinic behavioral health, passion for process based therapies. And as a result of that, she has founded and developed West Coast anxiety where she is currently a psychotherapist. West Coast anxiety dot com is all one word, obviously the website, all the follow the Instagram at West Coast anxiety. Anxiety. And Jenny and I got to know each other in the mid 2000s. During this little thing called celebrity rehab, and now look at Jenny, she's a pro with two kids. Amazing. Married for like 7 years now, right? 8 years? Yeah, yeah. What an adventure. I did not anticipate I would be on when you and I met on the celebrity rehab shows. And I'm absolutely sort of weirdly flashing back to you with your chopsticks in your hair. Yeah. I almost warmed today. I was like, should I just really give drew up some really intense reminders? As you would say. And so a couple of things I want to know. I want to know a, what has changed in your outlook as a mental health professional from last time we spoke, but before we do that, because I think I feel like you've been evolving in terms of your not just your expertise, but I think what you think is important for the human experience, I think, is probably a way to characterize that. And then what we can do about it to help people make better. But before we get into that, just sketch people for people that do not know your history. If you don't mind. Yeah, of course. You and I met in 2009 when I thought it would be a great marketing opportunity to join a sex rehab show because at the time I was a porn star. And I thought, well, this is just the perfect thing for porn star to do. She's just a workaholic. There's no problems here. And then it turns out, in rehab, you can not use marijuana or drink Jeff. Yeah, I know. What? I was like, I'm really here for this stuff, right? I'm very demanding. Very demanding, Jesus. So, you know, all my feelings turned back on and you guys started calling me Jenny instead of penny. And there was just this really intense dissonance in my head about this life that I was living the life that I had lived before and the life that I had possible ahead of me, and I just didn't, it became harder and harder to reconcile life as penny flame with what may have been possible as Jenny, you know, and so before we met, I was an adult business for 8 years in front of and behind the camera before that I sold we before that complicated family upbringing complicated relationships with my dad with my mom, which, you know, attachment is a thing. And I always think about you and Jill at one point noted to me like how lucky it was that I was able to form secure attachments. Given some of the experiences that I use. And I think about that often, now, both in my personal life and also my professional life and with the people that I'm working with. So let's pull that a part of it so people understand. So there's different attachment styles and children infants, a form attachment to mom. And mom has her own attachment, which you would call landscape or map, and that very much affects the child's landscape and the child also comes with his or her constitutional biological features that further influence this back and forth connection we call attachment. But it's interesting as I think about you, I have very intense feelings and memories as we're sitting here talking and I don't think I had it quite as intense because I've been a little depressed lately. So I think that's why it's like everything's like heightened for me right now. But I always had a sense that there was an attachment to mom, but the abandonment and the ruptures, what really were the things. And I have two and you tell me if these are the two that have vivid sort of import for you as well. One was you standing at the window in the motel waiting for mom to come home, right? It would describe that very vividly. And the other was your dad kind of coked out the car or something and beating somebody up or threatening somebody and those two things stand out for me or were those standouts for you or they just things that affected me in a certain way. No, I mean, they were definitely stand out moments in my life and I think moments that I really could point to as moments that shaped my perspective on relationships and intimate relationships and I mean, I think there are some other more nuanced moments as well, certainly like witnessing the relationship between my dad and my mom and this sort of like lovelessness of that and the sort of emotional distance that was there. That was something that I think also really shaped my
Made For This with Jennie Allen
God Put You in the Place He Wants to Be
"I don't want you to miss the purpose that God has for you in your place. I don't want you to diminish the impact of where he has given you influence. So we might have to reframe our view of where God has put us and shift our language from are these places making me happy, to how can you use these places for the good of others and the glory of God. This is one of the most redemptive subjects we'll talk about. The thread of places, the places God has put you. In fact, this is one of my favorite activities because when people do it, they're always surprised at all of the ministry right under their noses. They're rarely thinking to themselves after they do this project. Gosh, I should be serving the lord in Africa, or I should be serving the lord in some different place. They usually are going, wow, I have a lot of places of ministry right in front of me. Jill Briscoe always says, the mission field is the ground beneath your two feet. That that is the mission field God has given you. And I could not agree more. In fact, we know this because of act 17 that I quote all the time to you is that he draws the boundary lines of our existence so that perhaps people may feel their way to God, that you are set in your boundary lines that you are put in your village and your town and your college campus dorm in your apartment complex in your workplace. In your kid's soccer team in your kid's school and your many, many places, your neighborhood, everything that God has put your two feet in, that is where he has called you and they're probably aren't just dozens and dozens of other people. They are representing Christ. He put you there.
Made For This with Jennie Allen
In Suffering We Need God
"Humans, we are, I don't mean to act like you're extra arrogant, you probably struggle with all kinds of insecurities. I just mean, we typically, if we're doing okay, even if the world's falling down around us, we aren't very sensitive. It is kind of the way we're built. We just are independent. We don't need anybody. We don't need anything. We're doing great. Until something comes crashing down. And in those moments, something about us becomes more tender. I think this is just human nature. It's the way we all are. Something about us becomes more tender, something about us recognizes our need for God and other people, take the suffering away, take the dark parts away, and we are cruising through life. I remember as a young college student, I walked through a lot of difficulty, and then I didn't. And I remember noticing that that I didn't crave God the way I had when I was so lonely when I was walking through things that were so difficult. I didn't notice other people's pain as much when I wasn't in pain. Now, that's not to say that in the good times of life, we can't do that. That should be disciplines that we all seek to exist living unselfish lives that mourn with those who mourn and notice the people that are hurting and move towards them. But in general, we need God and we need others when we're needy. And we hate being needy. However, that storyline of being needy is actually not so bad. It actually is the way that we were designed to best function in our weakness. We are strong. We talked about that a few weeks ago that this is a gift that we need God.
Made For This with Jennie Allen
Spiritual Gifts From God
"We are talking today about gifts. We're talking about the things God has given you to help make him known in the world. And I know a lot of you are starting with me and you're just confused. You're like, I don't know if I have gifts. I don't think I do. And I just want to encourage you that if you are a follower of Christ, then the spirit has imparted gifts to you. He is giving you gifts. Every one of you. First Peter for ten through 11. As each person has received a gift, use it to serve one another. Each person has received a gift. This is what got promises, and you see throughout the scriptures in multiple places, the unique gifts that God gives. And they might be the same as your natural gifts that you had prior to becoming a Christian. You may have been great at art. You may have been great at communication prior to being saved, but you may have been given new gifts by the spirit once you were saved. In fact, biblically, I would say likely that is true. Now we all know that God knew before time who his children would be. So likely he put in you things that you were just good at and then the spirit comes and gives power to that and enhances that. Sometimes you get really tripped up on what are my natural abilities and one of my spiritual gifts. You know what? What makes them spiritual is that you use them for the glory of God.
Made For This with Jennie Allen
Approaching God With All of Yourself With Kathryn Maack
"When it comes to God, he's given us different parts of ourself to come together and it's not supposed to be this or that. So talk about what we're missing when we jump into those sides of our faith. Yeah, well, I mean, I think, you know, I know that you're talking to so many people and I am too that just feel distant from God and they feel an apathy or a dryness and we assume that that's on God's end. Maybe he's backed away or he's turned a blind eye to us and the premise of the book is that sometimes God feels distant because actually on our end we're holding parts of ourselves back. And so it's very easy to do. We actually have four dichotomies in the book head and heart truth and spirit being in doing and center and saint. And so we break all those apart in the book, but for instance, head and heart. Yeah, it's very easy if you have a particular personality or group in a particular denomination to really love God well with your head to have an intellectual understanding of him, but to not be relating to him with your heart. That was a story of my husband. I mean, he knew all about the Bible. He studied at his whole life, and it wasn't until his growth in the last three years that he realized that God wants to hear his actual emotions. And so he read that somewhere like you should bring God your actual emotions and started praying with what they actually are, where his heart is. Like, God, I'm nervous. I'm afraid I'm whatever. And he would come out of his room with his Bible in tears. I'd never even seen him cry. And so I think just the opportunity to go, you know what? I probably have some gaps in some of these areas. I might be more of a head person and have some gaps in the way I relate to God with my heart or vice versa. And to be able to recognize that and go, you know what? When God says, I want you to love me with your heart and soul and mine is strength. Like all of me, I have that opportunity and that can reach the gap between me and God. Truth and spirit the same way, you know, if we grew up in a charismatic background, we might be really strong in the spirit. If we grew up in a Bible church, we might be really strong and truth, our personalities, lend to leanings. And so it's just good for us to go, wow, there's a whole, there's a whole vast way that we can relate to God, and also there's a lot of vastness of expression within the broader church where we can learn from people that have strengths where we have weaknesses and we can grow. And how we come to God with all of ourselves.
Made For This with Jennie Allen
Why You Have to Know Your Own Story
"I know you could probably look at Joseph's story and go, I don't have any kind of story like that. However, I bet you do. I bet you have those low points in those high points in your life that you don't often think about, but have made the story of your life, what it is. In fact, it's probably made you who you are today. And so I want you to not be afraid. I want you to not be afraid that perhaps these things might not mean anything, that they might just be wasted or purposeless. I want you to imagine that maybe just maybe trust me and risk that maybe these little parts of your life really mean something because God weighs nothing. It says in scripture that he works all things together for the good of those who love him and follow him and are called according to his purposes. So we know that there is a story being built for each of our lives. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, he has designed for you good works that he prepared and advanced for you to do. He has redeemed the dark moments of your life to mean something. That's what scripture promises is that it will mean something that it won't be wasted that nothing is wasted that he can work anything. Anything together for good.
Made For This with Jennie Allen
God Has Plans for You
"Guys. It eventually will all make sense. And the story of Joseph shows us that. Joseph wasn't. Necessarily special as a human, although certainly he has an unbelievable story, God cares about you in the same way he cared about Joseph. He has set you in your place in the same way he set Joseph and his places. He has prepared good works in advance for you to do in the same way that God had good works prepared in advance for Joseph to do. So this is how God works. It's how he moves. It's the story that he builds in all of our lives. I think we miss it. And my prayer for this journey for us is that you would see what God is already doing, that you would see what God has already begun to build into your life.
Made For This with Jennie Allen
"jennie" Discussed on Made For This with Jennie Allen
"I think we have a generation who just lets the majority rule. Whatever urban dictionary votes is the truth. Whatever TikTok says is the truth. Whatever the SnapChat article reads is the truth, whatever the news headline is, is the truth, and it doesn't matter if we fact check it. That's just true. We don't need a fact. Check it. That's how we're going to live our life. Even if it's leading us to destruction, even if it's no good for our life, even if we literally don't even recognize ourselves anymore, if everyone says it's true that it must be true. Scary. Proverbs 1215 says this is the fool is right in his own eyes. But the wise man listens to advice. I don't want to be a generation of force. Thinking that we're right all the time, thinking that our truth is the best thing for our life. You know, you read this story too, and you say, you know, this makes no rational sense. Like even if Jesus was bothering them, that is actually dangerous, that they would put barabbas back on the streets. Like he's actually a criminal. This isn't even make sense. Why would they do this? But here's the thing, you're a truth, is not really concerned with what makes sense. It's not really concerned with what is better for you in the long run. Your truth is always going to seek what is the most comfortable thing in the moment. Your truth is get a feed your pleasure. Your truth is get to feed your feelings. Your truth is going to be the thing that makes you comfortable and Jesus made them so uncomfortable. Because your truth allows you to stay the same. The truth requires change. The truth requires some mission, the truth requires you to lay down to repent to turn into following him and we don't want to do that. We want to live our truth. You know, there's a scripture, I'm going to read it to y'all. And John, a, and it is so powerful. And Jesus just lays out the fact that he is the truth that says this. If you abide in my word, you are my disciple and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. So if you're in my word, you are my disciple, and then if you're in me, you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. Well, when I was preparing for the message, I couldn't remember where that verse was found in the Bible. And so I literally Googled where is the verse of Jesus says and the truth would set you free, y'all. I'm not kidding. I told y'all sometimes I don't feel prepared. So I Googled this, okay? I should have known it, but I Googled it. And when I Googled it, the first scene that popped up was who said the truth will set you free. And so I click on it. And there's literally all of these lists of people in the history of the world that have said this great line and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. And it's this person who said it in 1960 and it's this person who said it in 1820 and it's this person who said it in this war and this person who said it in this movement and then along with all of the other listings there was Jesus and Jesus said and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free and as I was reading that I was like, man, this is the problem. You see that sentence is not true for anyone to say, but Jesus. And you know why it's not true. You know why it was true when Jesus said it is because when he said you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. He was literally talking about himself as in the truth. And the reason why he could say that and it would be true is because he actually knew he holds the power beyond the grave. He can literally wash you free of your sin. He literally is going to resurrect from the dead to life. So that's actually true for him to say. That his truth actually will set you free. That whatever sin you have in your life, whatever bondage you're dealing with in your life, the thing that's actually going to set you free because he literally raised from the grape is Jesus Christ.
Made For This with Jennie Allen
"jennie" Discussed on Made For This with Jennie Allen
"Men are limited by their humanity. By their creaturely existence. They are therefore an insufficient and unholy God if ever we decided to make them one just like any idol. The beauty about God being God is that because he isn't created, he has no needs. Listen to Paul and act 1725, he says. The God who made the world and everything in it, being lord of heaven and earth does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands as though he needed anything. Since he himself, gives to all mankind, life and breath and everything. What Paul is saying is that it would be foolish to think that the creator of everything needs the creation for anything. It is because God is completely sufficient within himself that even when he makes something, it isn't to feel a void, but it's giving an opportunity for all that he is to be known by another. Let me say it another way. God didn't create you because he needed you. God created you because he was being generous with himself. God created us out of his generosity. He is the one that gives everything everything. Life and breath. Body and soul, food, and faithfulness. He is able to do so because in God is no lack of God with no needs is a God who has the power to supply everybody else's. Coming back to the story. Aaron takes the gold, I have a feeling he took the earrings and the earring backs that made it stick together. Then they have a worship service for it. By saying these are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt again, we have Israel using words that should have alerted them to their delusion. This calf ain't been around for nothing but 5 seconds. And all of a sudden they saying that he is the one that brought them out of the land of Egypt. What they failed to see though is that a golden calf, no matter how beautiful it might be, is unholy why because all idols are local. Idols are unlike God since they are restrained by space and time. Because God is transcendent, you need, he exists differently than created things. He is not limited nor constrained by space and time because he created it. Time is a creature, so that means that God's relationship to time is that of a sovereign, not a servant. So praising an idol that was just born for an act, it wasn't even around for is ridiculous. But not only is there praise ridiculous, but also the expectation. They said they want a God that will go before them, meaning they wanted a God that would lead them, meaning they want to a God that would protect them, which is actually a morally acceptable need. I think some of us have to be reminded that neediness is okay. I'll say it again. I think some of us need to be reminded that neediness is okay. It isn't sinful to be needy. Why? Because God is the only one without needs. The fact that you are a creature means that you are inherently dependent on something, the problem is when we rebel against God to get a need met. Especially when you consider the fact that God all throughout scripture has revealed himself to be the primary source of everyone's satisfaction. Trusting in a local God will always lead you frustrated. Why? Well, idols got no choice, but to submit the time and space that means if your idol is located in a particular city country, church, denomination, job, tax bracket, political party, then whenever your idol is too far from your reach. Because you moved a lost your job or your preferred president or the liquor store isn't open. A homeboy won't answer his phone. It's at that point that you realize that the localized idol is one you won't always have access to, therefore, you have a very inconsistent hope. Our needs are constant. They follow us everywhere. So imagine trusting in a want to be God that can't even meet you where you are. It is futile to place your hope in anything that will inevitably leave you ever forsake you. But with God, it don't matter where you are. You can be in Dallas or on Mars. And God will be there.
Made For This with Jennie Allen
"jennie" Discussed on Made For This with Jennie Allen
"Second Corinthians three or 7 says, now if the ministry of death carved in letters on stone came with such glory that the Israelites could not gaze at Moses face because of its glory, which was being brought to an end, will not the ministry of the spirit have even more glory, for if there was glory in the ministry of condemnation, the ministry of righteousness must far exceeded in glory. So it's talking about the story of Moses and, you know, he's on that mountain top, and then he's in the tenth of meeting and there's times when his face glows and he goes, that we I'm willing to bet that maybe all of you there, you look at the life of Moses and you go, wow, that was incredible. He was on that mountain top. He was the one guy that could go to go in the fire. He's the one guy that sat in a tent of meeting and the cloud came down his face is glowing. Like, that is incredible. And just reading through the books book of exodus, you can't, can I just get a fraction of that? Can I just have one encounter like that? But what does the word of God say? He's as the glory of Moses should be far exceeded through the ministry of the spirit today that we have to stop living in the shadow of the Old Testament. In fact, the Bible says the Old Testament is the shadow. Moses is the shadow and we have a glory that's available to us. And so these are the things I'm reading and I'm going God. I want this, give me faith for this. I'm going to come into your presence and trust the word of God and that's why what you guys are doing is so important is because I didn't get that from someone telling me these things. I'm just reading and going, what in the world are you serious? Why didn't anyone tell me what is possible and what God wants of us. So don't underestimate what God may want to do through you and in you as you get alone in his presence. This glory through the spirit should far exceed what Moses experience and so don't be deterred by going, well I've never seen that in someone and I've never experienced this. This is where you got to go. I got to go beyond experience and trust the word of God and say, no, this is what he says. And so I am going to seek him and he promises me that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. And so praise God that you're
Made For This with Jennie Allen
"jennie" Discussed on Made For This with Jennie Allen
"Text description from your friend? Did you know that there are times where we think we forgiven and we've really just disconnected? There are times that we serve and we offer up our gifts, but we don't realize that they're tagged with an expectation for acknowledgment. See, here's the thing about truth. There's a lot of good, amazing truth available to you in this amazing word of God. But truth is only going to change your life to the degree. That it's important to you. To the degree that you're willing to let go of the corresponding lie. See, I think what's happening now is that we are exposed to crazy amounts of truth. Not all of it is God's truth. But even if we just narrow it down to absolute truth, the Bible itself, the Holy Spirit himself, good teachers who do the work, community, your Bible study resources, truth, truth, truth is available to you, but even perfect and absolute truth. Can only bring about personal change if I'm ready to let go of the lie. I want to challenge you to hate the lie so you can hear the truth. Hate the lie, so you can hear the truth. Because it thinks become relevant when I understand that my life is not the way God has designed for it to be. And here's the thing, I think we like truth so much that we added to our current condition rather than allowing it to change our current condition. So God, I want to know all the things about you, but also don't touch this over here. I just want to mix of how I want to do it, and what you say, and then I'll figure out how I want to live my life each day. So today, I want to challenge you to really ask yourself, God, do I need just more information or do I really need to evaluate where I need to uproot my misinformation? Here's where we can find the answer to that. So I'm one 39. At the very end of the song, David says simply that search me, oh God. And know my heart, try me and know my anxious thoughts, some of your versions may say. And see if there be any grievous way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. So David is concluding one of my favorite songs. He's opening that so I'm saying God, you search me. You've known me. You know where I sit down when I rise up, you know, thoughts before they're formed in my lips, you're intimately acquainted with all my ways that song was the one that tells us we're fearfully and wonderfully made. So God clearly knows David. But then at the end of this past that she sent God search me, know me, try me, and then lead me. So here's the thing. If I want to really walk in this truth that God has for us, right? Because I don't want us to have God speaking consistently, but we apply it occasionally. With the loneliest generation that has ever lived on the face of the earth. Not all of us, 80%, live in little villages, around fires, with no doors, throughout history, this is what people have done. They cook their meals, there's protection, there's warmth, anybody seen 1883, everybody should see 1883. So good. And dangerous. And yet there's something to it that's simpler and more beautiful and more important than what it feels like our daily lives are. A year into my research on this subject, I was so troubled and I was so bothered that I it was almost like the matrix where they find out how it all really is and then they're just mad and they want to go back to pretending that it's all okay. That's how I felt a year in because this is that messed up. You look at the numbers, the anxiety, the depression, the suicidal thoughts, the suicide that's happening, you look at the next generation that's coming, something's broken, what is broken, and this is what broken. Let me start with the Bible. It is all about this. When I went to research it, it was hard to find verses about community. You don't have one verse, you can just sum it all up with because the whole book's about it. In genesis, he builds a man and he sets them on the planet and what does he say? It's not good. It's not good for man to be alone. First statement over mankind, it is not good for mankind to be alone. Now the irony is, in genesis, you see the first sign of the Trinity because it says, let us create man in our image. So we see that a communal God created a communal creature. And that communal God said, we're going to build man in our image. He's going to be like us. He's going to resemble us. Now, if you don't know what I'm talking about, because some of you are confused because you're, you didn't even know this was about Jesus, I'm so sorry. So it's good to hear that God is three and God is one. Just the basics. I went to seminary, and that's all I've got. Father, son, Holy Spirit. The three have been in relationship for all of eternity and will be in relationship for all of eternity. They didn't create us because they were lonely. They created us out of love. That they had so much love just in who they are. That they wanted to share that love with us. And we feel that on days like today. We feel that love just from God, just coming through into our lives as we are with each other. Well, guys, guess what? It is not good for a man to be alone. And guess where we have been for a long time? Alone. Three and 5 were lonely before the pandemic. So I'm guessing we're at four and 5 or 5 and 5. And it's not something that's easy to identify because it's just the way we live. We have fences. We have alarms. We, Amazon, something that we need, we don't ever borrow something from our neighbors anymore. We don't even really want to share our burdens. I remember being at my office when I was researching this and I asked my team, I said, how many of you are comfortable asking for help and nobody raised their hand? That's my team. And if you see the kind of things they create, we are communal people. We like host parties, really big fun parties. That's my team that didn't feel like they could ask each other for help when they need it. We are so isolated. And if this was just about your well-being, if this was just about your anxiety, if this was just about you personally being known, it would matter. But it is so much bigger than that. We have such bigger problems than that. Here's the problem. When I wrote that book, I was a little embarrassed that I was writing a book about friendship. Because to me, it was never a book about friendship. It was a book about war. It was a book about us facing the darkness and us doing that together. And we're all trying to do get out by ourselves. When God gave us away. And assumed throughout the book that it would be communal. You see an Adam and Eve, they built a family. And you see through that family, a nation was built. You see people groups on earth across the earth, all that did life communally and villages through all time. You see a nation in Israel and the Jesus comes through that nation into the world and he says, now I want you to go and to be the church. And so all over in those local villages, little churches would pop up, Ephesus, Corinth, philippi, so you see the rest of the book is all about local churches, which is how we're supposed to be. That's a season of the story that we're in. Is the local church season. And what's interesting is in our depression and in our anxiety, we have isolated ourselves even more because that's how the devil works.
Made For This with Jennie Allen
"jennie" Discussed on Made For This with Jennie Allen
"Join my email list, and we'll send you everything. Bye, guys. This is Jenny Allen and you are listening to the made for this podcast. Thanks to HelloFresh for supporting made for this. Go to HelloFresh dot com slash made for this 65 and use code made for the 65 for 65% off plus free shipping.
Focus On the Family Daily Broadcast
Levi & Jennie Lusko Analyze How Suffering Is a Gift From God
"Of the difficult topic of suffering and seeing it as a gift from God. Yesterday I said the same thing. It's hard for the modern church to grab that because I thought the exchange was I trust in Christ and my life gets pretty easy and I get blessings and you know I'm not diminishing any of that because that's part of the Christian life too. But we've got to embrace the other side of this that's suffering in Christ. He said you will suffer. Right. For my name. Well, I just think of James when he says consider a pure joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that it produces and then he lists all these things. And I think that that is just, again, like Levi said that lens of faith where we just have to see that when we go through suffering, it's actually producing in us perseverance. And it's producing an endurance and it's producing in us just this stronger faith and trust in the lord. And I think that as we go through these things, it's so hard and yet there's a beauty in it. And I think sometimes we just want to have the good and the blessing. And like you said, there is blessing for the believer. There's strength for the believer. There's a beautiful abundant life for the believer. But that also is blended with pain and sorrow and suffering. 'cause look what our savior endured. He's the one who suffered. And the goal of our lives is to become more and more like Jesus. So it's that blending of the beauty and the blessing with the brutal Ness and the typical. The reality that every blessing you mentioned and more, God wants for us, it's just all the blessings you want are on the other side of the trials that none of us want to face.
Focus On the Family Daily Broadcast
Levi & Jennie Lusko Share the Tragic Story of Losing Their Daughter
"Next thing. But for him to say, okay, now I'm ready to just relax because my message is done and now we can enjoy. Family day with our kids. And this is in the driveway. In the driveway my mom's house. So now you walk in. So my brother runs out and says, lenya needs you. And so I run in and my mom had asthma, Olivia, our oldest has asthma, Levi has asthma, it's kind of a normal thing in our life to have inhalers and albuterol nebulizer and everything. But she wasn't taking her medicine that night and my mom, I walk in and letting us sitting on the counter and my mom's trying to give her the nebulizer, but she just wasn't taking it. And so she turns pale and just passes out on the kitchen counter. Levi runs in because he had just parked the car. He runs in and just immediately he's so good in these situations just starts doing what he had learned of CPR and mouth to mouth and I'm just like all of a sudden realizing, okay, this is a bad situation. I'm praying. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. And we call 9-1-1. And it's winter in Montana it's December 20th. So the roads are icy and it's snowing outside and it's so the paramedics finally come and come in and take them to the hospital. And I just felt this cold feeling of like, this is not happening and this is not going to end well. I could just feel the grimness in their faces. I think when they were working. And I had asked them while they were working on it and I said, does she have a heartbeat? Does she have a heartbeat? And they said, not right now. And so she was coded non responsive in the house. That's when science she was to be with
Focus On the Family Daily Broadcast
Levi & Jennie Lusko Explain How They Found Their Way to Montana
"So let me take you to a moment in your marriage. I think it was fairly early on when you had this crisis of vocation, maybe if I could call it that the vocation of location, your successful pastor, John Kelly. Yeah, Dr. Seuss, I've read a few of those. But then they were stripped away. Too soon. Too soon. But your pastor in California, you're thriving there. You're very successful. And you bump into somebody who says, hey, you might want to think about coming to Montana or Idaho. Montana, yeah. Yeah, we felt like California made sense for us. You know, all our lives, I actually grew up in Colorado, raised in New Mexico, Jenny from California. We ended up in Orange County. And we were just a mile away from the beach, you know, a couple thousand people in the church we were teaching at, it felt like it all roads had led to that moment. Season passes to Disneyland, you know. It's where God wanted you. It felt right, honestly. And at that point, there came this incredible, ridiculous idea. Go to Montana and start a church. Now, we're not ranchers, you know, I don't look like Kevin Costner. You know, I just don't, it doesn't, it didn't make sense to us. And yet we couldn't, you know, when you know God speaking to you and it almost irritates you because you just know he is and you almost wish you could pretend you didn't hear him. We felt like we needed to move to Montana and started church, which didn't make sense.
Breathe Love & Magic
"jennie" Discussed on Breathe Love & Magic
"From your perspective? Yeah, brene Brown is really the researcher on both shame and vulnerability. And of course, it's often shame that creates the sense of vulnerability and that from which we then hide. But of course, I'm going to go back to the reference of the small or egoic self that personal self, which has its own kind of stories and agendas. And that's the part that feels the shame or feels vulnerable. It feels like it has to defend itself and might be not liked or judged if it says the wrong thing. And if we can recognize that we're so much more than that, like we're so much more than just our personality and our body and our story, then our history, where we've come from. We're way more than that. We're divine beings. We're souls that are eternal and that are just journeying through time and space. And have a presence that is so much bigger than whatever it is that we are experiencing or have experienced as human beings in this lifetime. The gift of vulnerability is really the ability and willingness to show up in any relationship parent child, partner, friend, whatever, and say, here's me. Here's me as a frail and fallible and limited human being with all of my neuroses and insecurities. And I know I'm more than that. And I'm trying my best and I hope that you person on the other side of this conversation will show me your vulnerable self and that we can meet each other there and take care of one another in those tender places, but also not stop and see each other just as that. But really hold space to see one another as the glorious and eternal spiritual beings that we are as well. So what's the benefit then of being vulnerable? Compassion, I would say, compassion for yourself, compassion for another person, just the recognition that we are multi level beings. And as we meet each other in compassion, that is an aspect of love. So we can't meet each other there if we're not vulnerable. Okay, I really see that. And you know, when I do dating coaching with women, a lot of women have had their heart broken and are very guarded now as a result. I spend a lot of time helping them understand that until you're willing to be vulnerable, which has nothing to do with being taken advantage of or being a doormat or anything else. And you can be smartly vulnerable, you don't have to wear your heart on your sleeve or whatever. But until you're willing to do that, you can't have a heart connection. You won't likely connect with a man at that heart level without that vulnerability. Absolutely. Absolutely. Because otherwise we're just showing up with a mask on. And so one mask means another mask. And there's nothing really genuine connecting there. So it is definitely through our open hearts, our vulnerable hearts that we can be met. But I agree, there is an aspect of discernment which needs to be present because not everyone is completely trustworthy or worthy of sharing our vulnerability and some people can kind of play the vulnerability card of victimization or whatever, and we don't want to go down that road either. It's not about pandering to a story of vulnerability. It's just the recognition that we all as human beings have a tender side. We do. Even the strongest among us have a tender side. Yes. So when I was dating, I dated 30 men and 15 months after 40 to find the man, I've been married to happily for a long time. So number 28 was this guy who was totally wrong for me, but I was so sick and tired of doing the right thing. And I don't care. I'm just going to do this. It's going to be fun. And when it stops being fun, I'm going to kick his butt out the door. So I made that promise to myself and I felt I could trust myself to follow through. And it was an incredible experience because first of all, I don't regret it for one moment. It was like so much fun. He was crazy, romantic, you know, it was a blast until it wasn't. Then I realized that in doing that, I allowed myself to be vulnerable with parameters, and so when I ended things, as I knew I would have to at some point because he was not the right man for me. I had to go through this period of recognizing that I could be resilient. And I had had my heart crushed in college and then just in a date for, I don't know, almost 18 years. I dated a little bit in there, but nothing too serious. Nothing ever went very far. And so it was kind of a long hiatus of being not being willing to be vulnerable. So right after number 28, I took a few weeks to recover and make my heart feel better and become a whole again and build myself up and regain my optimism and started dating and I met 29 and 30, 30 being my husband, Paul, and 29 was also an amazing man. And so those were the first two men out of the 30 that I'm not that I had a heart connection with and I had to choose between them. So it was really an amazing, incredible shift that my willingness to be vulnerable provided and it was obviously for me very worthwhile. Absolutely. And I mean, that's an interesting story. I didn't know, you know, about your history. But I have known other people who have been heartbroken, obviously almost every one of us. But some people do just stop. Their heart broken once, and they stop. They stop putting themselves out there. They stop being resilient. To me, that speaks to this complete identification with the story or that personality self that the fields rejected or feels unworthy of love in some way. And when we can know ourselves as more than our human essence and our history, when we really have some sense of ourselves as spiritual beings that are transcendent of all the experiences of our lives, then that, to me, is what brings resilience. I've had my heart broken so many times. And I just keep coming back for more love because I know that there is a love that is greater than what I've exchanged with human beings so far in this life. And so that's what I'm constantly trying to tap into. And certainly feel like I do a lot more now than before, as a result of the practice that we started talking about at the beginning of diving into what is this devotion? What am I devoted to? How do I surrender to this great cosmic energy, you want to call it magic? That's fine. I mean, whatever language we want to give to it, it doesn't matter. It's rendering something to something greater than ourselves. And that to me is the essence of it. Got it. I saw another line where you said the key to our freedom is the active practice of loving. So I'm wondering if you have one of those examples of daily practice in that or how you want to better describe that so we can understand what you mean. Well, I think we all know sometimes.
Made For This with Jennie Allen
"jennie" Discussed on Made For This with Jennie Allen
"Look different than i looked. I was very much a follow. The rules. And i want to achieve certain things and my kids really. Don't care as much about that in. That's kind of good. Because i think aired on the people pleasing side of san where i was. Just just tell me what to do completes you instead of really seeking police the lord. So i'm grateful for that. But i do think that's hard honestly what's been hard for us has been for me. As pastor's wife has been expectations that people may or may not have trying to live up to those things. Oh here there's that people pleasing it's still like rears its ugly head also letting our kids just be a have their own stories and that they don't have to be like in me and their relationship doesn't have to be like not me. I think i hate it when they might go somewhere. And you know leader will say you know what i'm saying you know audrey or whatever like as if she's memorize the bible which you know anyway treating her almost like they would matter me in. She's young she's not how this yeah yes And then i would say having being passers a pastor who is maybe more well known in as a larger platform and so i think can get one can make mistakes in their own them but then also can just end up with a target on his back and then hearing people talk about him as if they know him and they they really don't right bats world. Yeah well. And i've been behind the scenes with y'all in those moments few of those moments and it's really hard for anybody that knows your husband because he is just as life giving and joyful and loving a people and yes does make mistakes but there is a mama bear that i'm sure comes out and you of protection and i do think that's one of the things that's hard you carry. That people can't totally empathize with unless you've been there. You can't fix the things that you wanna fix. You can't correct the wrongs in the world that you want to correct and yet that's a feeling i bet. A lot of people relate to and so what do you do in those moments when when you really do have to turn the other cheek because there's not a way to appropriately respond. I think that's where. I literally put my hands out in front of me ben to learn say issues yours because i i can't i can do nothing about this. I could do some things but my conscience would not let me that the holy spirit would not it would grieve the holy spirit if i were to do what i like less wanted to do. But what i can do is a lured. You know you have this. You have us you know ice and so even if there is something that we need to look at here Show asked and we submit to you and we want to walk a you know in righteousness and i'm but we also know her. Forgive him when we don't and we can repent that even if he has slandered or something's not something said about him. That is not true. Lord we know that our hearts that we trust calling on our lives Most of the time the people around us that are closest to stay no we don't surround madden surround himself with a bunch of yes people he doesn't. He surrounds himself with people that will challenge him on something so that matters to us more like if they had concerns them bringing that to us has more weight than anything we would hear outside of that but really just having to remind myself that god you. You're working something out and you will like the truth will come to light in. If that's just you know in glory. Then let it be if it sooner than that. That'd be awesome. That's just ten aware of of had to place it. I wanna talk about jesus in your relationship with him because that is the place where you go right. I've watched i'll do it. I've just are right with pen. And that has brought you peace. What has that peace look like. Because some people can't imagine you know right now. Maybe somebody's listening who they have had a friend gossip about them two to five people and it feels like the most devastating thing to be misunderstood by one person or five people. Y'all have been misunderstood by a lot more than that. Where do you go with that in your own personal heart with the lord. Where does that identity come from. How do you keep your head up and and be okay even in the midst of a misunderstanding or people speaking ill of you even on a large scale. Yeah i think for me i. I'm like okay. Lord search my heart and know me in my anxious thoughts. If there's any way in me you know that's up pleasing to you show me and so for me. That's where i start is okay. God you know me is. Is there a shred of something that i need to look at. Even if i don't like who it came from even if it feels unfair and then like putting that before him and san yung if he does show me something then repenting asking for forgiveness And then if there's not then chest saying god i feel wronged. I mean in the psalms. You see david pray. These sorts of prayers like i am being chased down the lied about and so telling it to the lord just like journaling. Maybe a journal it and like these. These are some things that have been said about me. It feels wrong. Feels embarrassed hurts and then replacing that with the truth that i am a i am loved him. I have been forgiven by him. So any kind of accusation that the enemy would want to try to use that there is now no condemnation for those who are in. Christ since i can remember you don't condemn me because it's ice that covers me. His lifelike heated everything perfectly. I want. I want so badly to make a on this test of life. You know and not. Have anybody have to have anything against me. But i know that it's not possible because if we say we are without sin than you know than were liars and we call god a liar and so i know they're still saying in my flesh that lurks there and prone to wander but i also know that the grace in the beauty and the righteousness of christ lays on top of my life and so that god considers me righteous in whole through him and so just having to remind myself of the gospel and then asking alerted to take care.
Made For This with Jennie Allen
"jennie" Discussed on Made For This with Jennie Allen
"I'm excited about this book. Let's talk about it. So this is what i know is it's beautiful. You know how good this is for me. The subject because i've wrestled with a season of doubt and i just want to hear bliss. Start right here with where this came from four you. Why was this the message that you had to tell okay so you know it has been an jimmy. But you're like stunned. It's been like a really interesting last five years and about five years ago so twenty sixteen. I had celebrated my fiftieth birthday party. I was having a ball. Everything was awesome. I got home that night and had twenty six calls from brother andrew in australia to say that my mom had pasta way that not and so that was like what. We're i say kind of the beginning of this then over. You know the knicks. Few months i had a lot of in my sister-in-law my age my one of my husband's sisters one of my husband's brother-in-laws and so that that has got its own shoes when you're leaving on one side of the world. This is all happening on the other side of the world and then of course for me. It's really tied in. You know when i was lifting a hospital not knowing my biological mom than my birth. I'm so it triggered no-doubt that stuff that was going on on top of that You might remember. You might have asia. But the end of two thousand sixteen coming into twenty seventeen was a really volatile time just on the planet and things which she was political changes and moral changes in relational the whole world was like going cray cray. And if you any kind of public figure of which you would have no idea what i'm talking about right now. There is always a group of people that think. You're not saying enough about something or you're saying about something else or why it was like you time while i'm trying to internalize all of this grief and worker and lead a global organization. It was a matter of waking up going. Who are you gonna do support today. Because it's just being pulled in all of those directions trying to navigate leadership with wisdom and then for me. I think what what came to me from my perception as a kick in the guts was a really personal betrayal from a friend. All of those things are there. Was this one night. It was just one thing. After another. I came home. Nick was watching netflix. Series on hellwig for the navy seals. That's how my husband relaxes right as a now. It's like weed. But i didn't even know really what he'll week was but the whole goal is to break you down. You know emotionally physically and all of that stuff and always kind of along with the navy seals. Man we on the front lines. We are rescuing people you know. We're going to take the gospel to the outermost parts of the. That's always been that. And i am that that's really hard. The woods wide me up but there was one thing. They dropped the guys at a helicopter into the ocean. And i started crying to which nick like. What is going on. And i said you know. I think this is how i feel. I feel like spiritually speaking being like dropped into this freezing cold ocean you to miles to the shore and there's emission for you when you get to the shore and i sit in the fact is i know i can do it. I know i can. I'm noah strong enough. I've got the match fitness up. Got the tenacity. But for the first time in my life at was balling jenny. I said for the first time in my life. I don't know if i want to. And when those words came out of my mouth. Like i could not believe it. Because i've had load times i've thought i don't know if i can you know am i am i am i. Could i do this. Do i have the capacity to do these. have the resources to do these to have the knowledge. I'll have plenty of those things in my life. But i've never not in thirty. Three's of following. Jesus had enough. I want to like and and this is the other thought that i had that i said out loud to. I said he's the deal. I've got so much momentum from thirty years of doing this thing it's going to be a really long time before anyone if anyone actually notices because there's a whole little discernment in the body that you know. I could just turn up every now and again do something. And it's like here. I am and as always bowling Looked up at him. And i win. But jesus jesus would note that. I took my foot off the gas and i only was either going at half pace or no pace or whatever you know. At that time it was like should just go by tavon incentives and so people buck la la until about jesus one on one and you know kinda shutdown all social media and just go. I'm just. I'm in this. Jesus so for me. It was never an issue of like. Am i going to walk away from jesus or or the faith or go. Even do anything. Crazy eat was my form of drift was. If i took my foot off the gas and it would just be a little bit list pressure. A little bit less exposure. I could god my heart relations a lot more. Wouldn't have to continue to be out there building. Bridges between you know denominations trying to expand the gospel. It was this moment. And i said to him his the book to him. How did i get hiya have. Did i follow passion full of zeal. Let's go charge hill with a water pistol. that's kind of my modus end. How did i get to this place. Where i literally very seriously for a significant amount of time. Thought i might just take my foot off the gas and data across that finish line and look jesus and he'd still be gracious to me. But i know that. I wouldn't have done everything he put me on this earth to do then sent me on this search and it was really. That's where the book of hebrews of a cane a time of with jewish. Christians were being persecuted. It was they were going through. So many challenges and the writer to the hebrews there in hebrews two says let us also pay extra attention list. We drift from cigarettes salvation. And i was thinking about that because at the same time there was a lot of things happening very publicly people deconstructing the vice people walking away from their faith. People walking away from church people walking away from even jesus himself and the scriptures and an i thought okay. I'm not there. But i'm certainly getting a glimpse of what it feels like to be destabilized and have drifted from a sense of being in the heart of the mission of god and choosing to live on this earth for the glory of god being poll saying you know i have run my race. I have finished my course you know one thing. I do forgetting those things that behind. I press on and i thought oh my gosh am i pressing on. Might be in my fifties now and going. What does it look like to press on and drift. When you're in your fifties what does it look like when you drifting in your twenties thirties or your forties. Because no one with the euro christian leader or very new to the faith. You're second generation christian or a first generation christian. Nobody is exempt from the possibility of drifting. Because all you have to do to drift is nothing to do anything. You know what i mean. It's kind of like. That was my and i thought i am having a form of my own drift whether it's mission drift purpose shift and i have to arrest this if i do nothing and just go with how. I'm feeling right now. I will drift. My dad used to take us to the beach a stray this humana beach and with great gina. So he'd have these the bright green umbrellas with his big.
Made For This with Jennie Allen
A Totally Different Way to Date with JP Pokluda
"Let's just go into it and let's talk about what you see. That is so broken. Where have we gotten this so wrong. Yeah we've we've digitized the whole process right and so you have you have guys living in fear right. They won't ask girls out. They feel like girls standards are so high that they always just say no if somebody does ask them out were sliding into. Dm's ghosting don't even have the dignity to follow up with. Hey this is where went wrong. Or i don't wanna see you anymore. It's just like hey. If i don't wanna see anymore. I just not going to respond to your text messages. And there's no there's no love your neighbor as yourself in that and so everybody is just is walking around wounded and confused. I mean those are the two words that mark the dating culture in the twenty first century wounded and confused. People are getting married later and they're they're getting married less and then the marriages that are happening. Ar- are failing more often so all of the statistics are telling us that we're in the middle of this epidemic. I mean this this real challenge that we face in the world of relationships. When i say marriage is not working out we know the divorce rates at somewhere between forty five and fifty five percents and then then on the other side of that you have all of these people who stay married. But they don't love each other they're roommates. They're not happy. And the worst if you will and so. The reality is vast majority of marriages fail. But we have more tools and resources and information to help us than we've ever had before so it brought me to. this place. rummy describes him ahead like where did we go wrong with this. And how do we help the next generation find the love that lasts like finds something meaningful and i think jenny. One thing that it comes down to is just expectations. Making sure that everybody has The same expectations because hollywood the movies the magazine's the media. They've they've really botched that we've been listening to the wrong coaches. I mean we have been taking dating advice from the people with the highest divorce rates the the biggest relationship failure rates. And those are the folks that we've turned to is the experts and say hey teach me more about what love looks like rather than going to the the author and the originator of love The one who is love and and kind of returning to his word to say okay. What are you have. What is what is your desire in relationships. How can i do this in a way that honors. U2
Made For This with Jennie Allen
The Other Side of Grief with Angie Smith
"Can you take us back to audrey. he's pregnancy and talk a little bit about about your story. From last season it was twelve years ago. Which is really hard to believe. You're talking about that the other day but the basic stories that i was pregnant with my daughter audrey she would have been our fourth daughter in. We found out during the pregnancy. Just like a regular at our twenty week ultrasound that she had many issues that made her incompatible with life and the term that they used and we ended up carrying her for several more weeks until she was passed viability. We just want to give her a shot. You know even though we were just praying for a miracle. We did not get the miracle that we really wanted but sheila for about two and a half hours and it was absolutely one of the hardest times of my life but she still so much part of our family. I feel like so in fact all the little neighborhood girls are designing they call us the sleeve or they somehow combined oliver. The smirks for they've mind are lasting of there's adorable mansion on us to all league compound firstalec giant house and they give audrey room held me so yeah it's still i mean it's so tender now but yeah it really beautiful to see him and other people remember her include her so so. Let's talk about that. That my one of my good good friends. Just walk through this. And i was actually there with her the day that her baby died and it was just you know and it reminded me of of you because i feel like you have given so many people picture into something that is often private and often not talked about in in so just in that season. We're talking about you know being fragile in this time. And i know since then because i'm your friend i know more and more horrific suffering that you've been through since then and i want to know just what that word fragile means to you and i think even back angie to your book cover of a broken china page. That was piece that together. I mean this is really something that an image for you it in your life. Yeah i think fragile is a really good word to describe this. The last season of my life. Like i sort of almost used that term with my general life like there's always like a little bit of i think for me right now and in those situations what i'm seeing is that even when i feel like i'm doing really well then i could still kind of take turn quickly where it's like one of those things that this is the dumbest example but i was at ulta yesterday and i i mean i've been out but not like probably as much as some people have in june okay with the whole pandemic like i mean. We're my husband's best friend who's here said on. You've been training for the soon. Like i like being home like so we i go to ulta. Everything's just take down like everything just feels like. I think everyone's got masks on all of a sudden. Like i just feel like i'm always sort of teetering on being in the hall. Just feels like there's a shift that i don't feel like i ever expect it. I mean even might. I mean my dad passed away. Which is part of what you were referring to and i was in the store and i was okay and then what actually broke me was. I saw this bottle of allure perfume. Which was the first Data ever bought for me and like the cell. So it's stuff like that where you're i think. There's just a different tenderness right now. That even in the moments where feeling we're kind of holding it together. It feels like most people i know are also like but this could break at any time right. Looks really solid right now. Right in an hour yet. I get a totally different answer. So it's a good word for it. Yeah i think you're right. I think i wake up some mornings. And i'm like i don't have any bearings i i feel. I don't have time and space like recently. I kept talking about our staff meeting tomorrow. I'm talk to our meeting tomorrow. And they're like it's friday. That's four days away just like i don't even know what to say it. Looks like a senile eight five year old but i cannot. I can't play it. Put my feet in time and space very well. You know which does make it just all feel like what secure in what's in what is all it it absolutely and i feel like i mean i. What's funny is. I think everyone is forgetting the days of the week. It's just these crazy. Yeah i do all. I did it today. I mean i like i thing. Is you know. yeah no. I think that that's part of it is just it. It's what you said. There's this like sort of like were lost in space and time and everything looked so weird and you know. I'm watching my neighbors. One of my dearest friends put her kindergartner on the bus. And he's the most lake shy in will mask and she's like i've never seen this classroom. I've never talked to the teacher like in. She's like a note. she looks like right here. She seems really nice. But altman dat. I tend to have depression anxiety. And i always have in so in this season. It's been extremely difficult. And i know. I'm not the only one but it's you said it's just kinda can't get your bearings in it makes you feel so unsteady in that revealing feeling to me is like it goes to panic. It doesn't it's not absolutely you'll uneasy here like so. Yeah we what we we right. I mean navy but then it's it's it's like it's the same as suffering all the things that you've been gone through lately it's like that that's that's also a grief does right is it puts you kind of in an alternate reality and and i wanna talk. 'cause i know there are so many women listening right now i mean i just i specifically think of my dear friend cathy who is just you know it's been one year anniversary just happened and so i want you to talk to them that those that have lost a child looking back on that journey. What do you wish you could tell yourself back then. I think i would probably talk about the fact that so funny. You ask that right. I said it regarded pandemic but that there is another side to this. You're you're not going to be in this place forever. So free i would say at the time it just felt like it would never end. Yeah fell it. would never recover in. Grief is weird. I'd probably tell myself that to you that it's again like it isn't the steady like okay. I'm better now. okay. I'm it's it's unexpected
Your Brain on Facts
Thanks-myth-ing
"Most without equal for this recipe you will need one each skylark thrush quayle ortolan lapping. Golden plover partridge woodcock. -til guinea hen guinea fowl. Wild duck red pheasant. Wild goose boostered and fake pecker pluck and got the birds then stuff the smallest bird into the next smallest birds cavity and so on until you have one neutron star of bird meet paraphrased from seventeenth century cookbook and you thought her duck in was a new thing. My name's moxy. And this is your brain on facts. Two days after this episode drops. It is thanksgiving in the united states and the supporters at patriot. Dot com slash. Your brain on facts voted to go. Turkey talk today. So let's go through the myths and misconceptions by working our way through a painting an odd choice as this is an audio only medium. Certainly luckily we don't have to pick just one painting. Most paintings depicting the first thanksgiving in giant air quotes of sixteen twenty. One contain the same things about of puritan settlers dressed in austere black clothing. With bright metal buckles gathered around a table laden with food. Maybe the family patriarch is offering a prayer and a small group of native americans can be seen in the background. Maybe one or two in the foreground. If i were to show you jennie. Augusta browns combs. The first thanksgiving or the first thanksgiving by louise jerome farris painted within a year of each other in the early twentieth century. Incidentally you'd say oh. Yeah that was in my history book which year all of them probably. That's how we've been taught to think of historical thanksgiving's but we're not school kids anymore. So it's time to update that image paintings of the first thanksgiving referred to that feast in sixteen twenty one in plymouth massachusetts. What we actually know about the feast. Concretely is very limited. It mostly comes from a single letter. Written by a communist named edward winslow two hundred and twenty years later in eighteen forty one. His letter was published in chronicles. Of the pilgrim fathers by boston writer and publisher alexander young and it was young. Who called the gathering. The first thanksgiving even though the word thanksgiving doesn't appear anywhere in winslow's letter that feast wouldn't have been thanksgiving to the pilgrims. Puritans did observe thanksgiving days after fortunate events like a good harvest. The were religious observances. People spent the day in church often in silent prayer and they fasted rather than feasted. It's almost the polar opposite of the way we celebrate thanksgiving today. So that day wasn't thanksgiving and it wasn't even the first for a few reasons for starters. It didn't happen a second time. Let alone annually. So it can hardly be said to be the first of anything it would take more than two hundred years for an autumn. Feast referred to as thanksgiving too widely proliferate second. It wasn't the first meal shared by europeans and native americans in the new world. A reasonable drive from my home here in. Virginia is the berkeley plantation where a thanksgiving feast was held this one by the europeans alone. Three dozen settlers arrived in the chesapeake bay in sixteen nineteen on a ship. Captain by a man who had survived the winter of sixteen o nine in the jamestown colony a winter referred to as the starving time after a rough two and a half months at sea and another week on inland waterways. They finally arrived at berkeley hundred later called berkeley plantation on december fourth. They disembarked assembled a meal. From what shifts rations. They still had ham and wasters probably and said prayers of thanksgiving. It was declared that their arrival must be yearly and perpetually kept holy as a day of thanksgiving to almighty god end so it was for two whole years in march of sixteen twenty two. The poyton having noticed that the settlers weren't leaving and in fact were expanding their territory and kept trying to convert and civilize them attacked berkeley and other settlements killing over three hundred fair playboys if you ask historians in maine they'll tell you the first. Such meal happened not in sixteen twenty one in massachusetts but in sixteen. O seven in papa main. The popham colony barely lasted a year. Thanks to a fire in their storehouse during the particularly harsh winter and miscalculations like staying in a four right on the shore rather than moving inland where the forest could provide a windbreak. They arrived in the
Queer as Fact
A Look at Jennie Livingston's 1990 documentary Paris is Burning
"Hello and welcome to Queer as fiction we talk about Queer historical media I'm Jason and I may lie and today we're talking about Jenny. Livingston's nineteen ninety. Documentary. Paris's Bang. Before we start, we have a few called him warnings to this episode. This episode contains mentions of Racism Transphobia Homophobia the AIDS epidemic murder and family rejection. It also contains the use of outdated language surefooted by Queer people on people, call it in courts. If any of that sounds like something, you don't want to listen to please feel free to check out one of. Our other episodes. So I wanted to stop this episode by explaining what is Paris's banning because I feel like a lot of listeners probably a pretty good understanding of this documentary. Some very young listeners may not have seen it. I said Hanson had you seen it before we researched this ups lot no but I had a pirated version of a hard drive for decades. I love with things and have adhd. reasonable. So I was aware of it but I hadn't actually seen it. Yeah. I think I heard the name but didn't know what it was. So Paris is burning is a documentary about the bowl culture scene of New York in the nineteen eighties prominently featuring the African American and Latin American members of that community many among gay and or trans. It documents how they lives intersect with the Bulls the form, the Bulls tight and contains several interviews, participants, explaining concepts, such shade, realness reading, and legendary woods that may be familiar to a modern audience given how by propagated in popular drag culture. Yeah on TIKTOK. The documentary features no narration and very little dialogue from the interview wide lesbian filmmaker. Jenny. Livingston prominent members of several houses in the scene featured including pepple of Asia during Corey Angie Extravaganza and Willi? Ninja. I'll make a nerd here on pronounce while several of the performance featured in Paris boning. Ambiguously Trans Women and so I'm GonNa to share pronounced where I don't have specific evidence I. Do want to note that pepple of Asia describes himself in the documentary is not being woman not understanding the experience of womanhood and being on In a sex change however, her two thousand and three obituary in the new. York. Times describes her as preferring in pronounce ongoing with that as the more recent source compared to this documentary which was filmed in the eighties. So having talked about what Paris has been is I want to I going to kind of how was made so as described by Academic Lucas, Hildebrand in his twenty thirteen book quit film classics Piracy's Boning, which was a major source when I was researching this episode Livingston was taking a film production class at NEOCON. INVESTI windshield observed three young men voguish in Washington. Square Park after asking what they were doing she was invited to an upcoming bowl and soon thereafter began documenting the scene via black and white photographs and audio interviews which were kind of the mediums in which she worked at the time. She was really documentary filmmaker. This was her first data and she since gone on to make several more films which obviously less notable. Because I don't know what they. Yeah. That's pretty wild. Are they on like queer things. Yeah I, believe her I think there's like Queer Antenna. Seems to many of her films. So yeah, it was only the light of that. She began filming the balls and coming up with the idea of turning these into a documentary. Film took seven years to make in no small pod Judah. The struggles Livingston had funding its production. She initially intended it to be appealing observational documentary just kind of following the lives of the Queen's involved in the same but lacked the funding to shoot the endless hours of footage that would be required for such a production. I'm not really an expert on how documentary films of made. Films something like seventy or eighty hours of footage as it is. So like, wow, that must have been. Lot of what is required for something without the kind of caught away stained. Interesting to think about funding a project like this in like post the iphone world. Because there's like a very like obviously a useless modern. Just, film it like whistle the money going yeah. It's like it's interesting. She talks about the various ways in which the film was funded was funded by a bunch of different organization. Thirteen. Different organizations contributed funding including the baby say. And she stalked interviews about how? It's the late eighties you conscious show someone from the BBC your footage you have to fly someone out from. England oh. Wow. Yeah. My Gosh and show them a physical film real. So is that indicative of a certain level of like promises project was seen to have if she was able to show it to someone like that or did this happen quite routinely it was just logistically difficult Y-. Oh. Yeah. So instead of a purely observational documentary, the earlier interviews that she'd recorded were bought back and more interviews were conducted. Most notably interviews conducted in one thousand, nine, hundred, nine broad sense of narrative to the film by depicting the commercial success of Willi Ninja, as well as the tragic murder of Vance Extravaganza young star in the bowl seen who features prominently throughout the Documentary Livingston has self describes the film making process as followers. Suddenly, the people I filmed worked with me in pop because I represented a chance to speak out to be in front of a camera to show off I, consider Paris burning collaboration on the deepest level, the people who. Are Articulate funny poised while the editor and I made coherent full that we saw the documentary was truly written by the bowl people themselves I use that quite because questions of narrative agency consent and understanding of the nature of the documentaries production became deeply controversial upon the film's release and will form a pot about lighter discussion. But before we get into that, I wanted to do a bit
Climate Connections
Renewable Energy Needs More Female Leaders and Leaders of Color, Researcher Says
"Transitioning to renewable energy can help reduce global warming. And Jennie Stevens of Northeastern University says it can also drive social change. For example, she says that locally owned businesses can lead the local clean energy economy and create new jobs in underserved communities. We really need to think about connecting climate and energy with other issues that people wake up every day really worried about whether it be jobs housing transportation. Health and wellbeing. To maximize that potential she says, the energy sector must have more women and people of Color in positions of influence research shows that leadership in the solar industry for example, is currently dominated by white men. I think that more inclusive diverse leadership. is essential to be able to effectively make these connections. Diversity is not just about who people are and their identity, but the ideas and the priorities and approaches and the lens that they bring to the world. So she says, by elevating diverse voices, organizations can better connect the climate benefits of clean energy with social and economic transformation.
Real Talk with Dana | Nutrition, Health
Burnout and learning to train with your cycle with Jenni Hulburt
"Alot how logos are back with another episode of the Real Talk With Dana podcast and we were talking about a topic today that is going to be either right now in your life or probably very soon in your life very relevant. We're talking about burn out today and we're also talking about overtraining today's guest is Jennie Hobart and we are going to be talking about balancing hormones, how to avoid overtraining and burn out for women. We're talking about Johnny's personal story with this. We're talking about the most common signs of overtraining and burn out, and then specifically what overtraining in burnout can do to your hormones including your sex hormones but then also cortisol, and then for the bulk of the episode, we're going to be talking about how you can cycle sync with your hormones specifically related to training and movement and exercise. So talking about what kinds of exercise or movement would be the most beneficial depending on the different types of your cycles and which one? Might not be the best depending on either the phase of your cycle that you're in or if you are feeling particularly burned out which let's be honest considering the state of the world right now, a lot of people are probably feeling pretty burned out. So this is going to be a pretty pertinent episode for you today Okay Funny Story. So the next part of this intro that I recorded. Somehow got put through some kind of voice changer in my editor and I'm not going to change it at all because it just made me laugh hysterically. So here comes. So just one thing to know before we get started today, we had a little bit of audio issues. In this episode there was a little bit of skipping which you might notice I'm sorry in advance for that there was nothing that I could do on the back end to fix it. But you know covert issues and internet, and we're just doing the best we can and I'm just happy that I honestly have Internet right now 'cause there were a couple weeks during this pandemic which I had none and you guys had no episodes. So some episodes are better than none, right? Yeah. So that happened and I'm keeping it. So I hope you enjoyed that and I hope you enjoy the rest of the episode. Honestly perfect time to talk about this too because with everything that's going on. I feel like everyone's finally reaching that point where they went through the adrenaline stage in they're like, oh, now this is into normal and then we're spiking in terms of cases and stress levels again in eventually people are just GonNa burn out and then be like what do I do? It's been high stress yeah. So Always managing our stresses key but especially lately. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Oh my gosh I know I want to jump right into. So Jenny, you I, know you love talking about balancing hormones and how to avoid overtraining and burnout for women. So I'm assuming you also have a personal story that goes along with this and so I would love if you could tell the listeners a little bit more about you and about your story. Shore thanks Dana. I grew up on a farm and I start there because I think being raised by the farm I will say it really gave me that anchor to nature and it seems that through all my experiences that have been the most challenging but also the most grow oriented and They bring me back to that to that connection with nature. So in my teens and early twenties. To be very critical of my body and compare myself to magazine covers and anxiety around the and other earls and I ended up struggling with the disorder for many years starting in nineteen years an finally what he'll relationship with food and with my body was understanding nature through versus processed food and really understanding impact of sugar and just processed in general the ingredients that were in that may be aware of before and really what I was doing to my mind and then I, went. On to get my bachelor's degree exercise science that I got a graduate degree in psychology like really wanted to combine that ballistic approach to movement in working with people as a personal trainer S. that's how I started my career and you'd think that I knew everything about movement about late. Right. But I know about my cyclical body at all the lakes as a runner I loved the adrenaline of challenging workouts and races and I was having a lot of fun chaining things enduring long distances. I was completely over training and I count myself in out and with take after a period of time of doing that in this day when the national is, but it was over the years of. Cumulative things end. So employee exhausted I had to slow down and figure out another way and so what led me to the workout without earn out blueprint that I to begin implementing myself. Then they now share what other men
Detective Trapp
The Dark Side of Enlightenment
"It was march. Two thousand nine, and in a big chain hotel in New Jersey a crowd milled around waiting. Once the doors opened everyone headed for the same place. It was launched auditory with a big stage in front. The event was called the harmonic wealth weekend, a rigorous two day seminar that promised to get participants on the fast track to personal and professional success. It wasn't the kind of thing ginny. Brown was normally into. A daughter Kirby had insisted that they go together. As they walked in, she had to admit the atmosphere was exciting. And we had to walk through a gauntlet I will say a cheerleaders who were jumping up and down reading up the energy in the room and. I remember saying to one woman man you. You girls really had your coffee this morning and she said to me Oh. We don't drink coffee like that's poison Oh. Okay well I do I love it. As everyone took their seats. The lights dimmed. James Arthur Ray stepped onto the stage and began a version of a speech. He often gave. Let's talk about what's changing right now? In your world, you see I firmly believe that you live in the most exciting time in our world history. Time where scientists spirituality are realizing that their sister studies. James was tanned with a bright white smile, wearing a bright white shirt. Pretty Trim Athletic Build. Daily good-looking just can't get going in the morning with on conflict. Give me a fricken break. Total Command of the audience people laughed. They nodded their heads. Like yeah, you know that higher energy kind of environment is just kind of fun you. You WanNa. Be Part of it. You WanNa belong. You don't WanNa. STAND DOWN AND BE! Kind of against what's going on? Because James Ray was a star. Law of attraction says like attracts like an as you lock your attention upon that then another particle, which is in harmony with is attracted and another attack. Another enough bang. You've got a Mercedes. onstage he talked about reflecting on yourself and your position in life. Then, he began to pull audience members onto the stage and ask them questions. And I'd like to have for two volunteers to help me out here. I need a couple of volunteers. Okay, come on, both come on up. Give him a hand. Give Up. First Jimmy was impressed I was fascinated by his ability to really read someone. Who Read people really well? But as she watched, something began to Nag at her. There are a couple of times where he brought people up on the stage, and had them reveal very deep, personal troubling. Things in their life. Ginny is a clinical social worker and I sat there thinking. was trained therapists. Those are the kinds of questions I would ask. If someone was sitting in my office, not in front of hundreds of people I was both fascinated and uncomfortable. She turned to her daughter, Kirby who was mesmerized. Just said you know that's you know that's. That's really not such. A great thing to do. But Kirby was focused on James, Kirby was in her late thirties and had bounced around careers and relationships. She wanted more success and stability in her life. Jennie knew that Kirby had been doing her own soul searching and the James Teachings had already helped, and she was going to stay there to get the most out of the experience whether she believed everything for not. But neither of US ever thought. He was dangerous.