19 Burst results for "Jeff Ross"
"jeff ross" Discussed on Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast
"He gave him as his Reprieve from but that's kind of when it turned around and i'm sure that had plenty to do with it. We always ask our guest. To give advice show biz advice on lessons. You've learned or advice you've got for people who want to pursue a career in show. Do you have any advice comes to mind who are hard. Yeah keep your head down. Don't listen to people that you don't wanna listen to them and say yup i got it and then do what you think is the right thing to do. I love that. That's it just say yes as you're planning to do a thing with a smile as you're shaking your head no all right great. Well yeah thank you so much jeff. Thank you jeff. Thank you guys anytime. This is actually fun. I was dreading it and i. It was fun to quote conan. I feel like we barely scratched the surface. Nice one and that was our executive producer. Jeffrey us we've got a fan question. Oh my god. They've been pouring in like sands to the hourglass. Yes this is a voicemail. Hey guys i just listened to the robert. Smythe one or the second one and it's very interesting any interview. He does is almost always pretty fascinating. He's one of the great comedy writers of the last generation or the last thirty years. This is robert smuggle I just would love to know more about clutch. Cargo jets He talked about doing clinton. Now the approach you took with clinton i love to hear more about some of the other characters and he. Bob dole Bless she did George bush number two and he did a lot of different than he did. He did john. Kerry which is hilarious and trump did trump really funny trump. I'd love to hear more about how he pushed characters of course sports nager and so on. So that's it and keep up the good work. We'd love it okay bye. Thank you for that voicemail. I'd never heard george. Bush number two is is a title. I like the sequel. Will you asked about the clutch cargo. Which briefly is we used to have deal news items on late night by having cut out of famous people's faces and then we'd have an performance lips moving. That's the only thing that would be moving on camera and robert smuggle didn't ended up doing most of the voices and one of the reasons for that is because he was just fantastic at it. He really great. He would do impressions of people that were great. But then he'd elevate them by making them more cartoonish right. They were straight ahead impressions because we sometimes if he wasn't available we'd get we try to get other people to do clutch cargo's and they would do very good impressions of people but there is like a sparkman eight just wasn't it wouldn't catch fire and also. He has a stunning smile which also helped. He really knew how to make those bits work to the point. Where if he was not available if he was like. Oh he's a you know in l. a. or we'd postpone clutched until he was a while. 'cause we just learned selfishly. It would do best to fuse air. Well can you go back a step in or so. The origin of the name clutch cargo was a i believe it was a cartoon effect used on kids. Show in chicago is what i always heard. So you know they'd have a photo of someone or it'd be a cartoon of someone but but it's kinda low tech animation. Yeah so the only thing that would move is to have an actual human being talking. You know with a cutout which looks really creepy because it's real humans lips. It's a little disturbing when. And i feel like we leaned into the creepy factor to really show even more of the mouth and and like you said smuggle used to use a lot of teeth very toothy impressions. A yeah like the the caller mentioned arnold and that was arnold. Schwarzenegger became a favored for the writers to write it became. I think robert love doing it. And he'd always put a little black piece of felt between is middle teeth to create that arnold gap tooth gap. Oh that's great. He would never cemented into strong lee so that halfway through the clutch the gap would start floating around his mouth like moving across. Which was you know robert new. Okay that's going to get a giant extra last chance instead. He was really good about including the audience in the production of the bid. Yes yes in on the joke. The audience loved kind of seen behind the curtain. He would literally be in front of the curtains so the audience could see this guy with his chin on a on a little chin rest and somehow his mouth was being put on the tv screen. Over conan's head. So but arnold actually the way we started. Arnold clutch cargo's was. I think it was two thousand and three. Maybe arnold was going on the tonight. Show with jay leno and the rumor was he was going to announce he was running for governor. And we were all just like i remember. We're in the writer's room. We'd just finished taping his show and we literally had arana miracle was we had a writer sitting down in one of the edit rooms watching the feed of the tonight show because of arnold was going to run for governor. Where like this perfect for clutch cargo. We've got to run upstairs and write a clutch cargo for the next day. And we're literally just sitting in my office waiting waiting waiting waiting. And then all of a sudden they're writer comes off the elevators like it's it's go. He's running and that was it. And then and then he was elected governor the gutter as a writer on the show. Where you're just looking for new stuff. It was literally like okay. We just found a rich vein of silver. Or you will. You can live off of this the next five or six years. Give a man and arnold and he'll eat for a day that's right. We were talking the other day about. Remember andrei doobie shea whenever we were breaking jingle home. Yeah like his. It was his favourite arnold line from a clutch cargo s. Because arnold always end every clutch talking about jingle all the way being the greatest christmas movie ever made. We did a jingle on the way bid on the show recently had cut off the end of it and people were upset about it. When one of our writers todd levin created the ending that people had missed and basically everyone dies and terrible wrap with other absorb. The whole thing is fantastic and that got us. That was great. And i guess in style gic about arnold clutches. What was the quote. I think you've got it. It was given a jingle jingle for a day. Teach amanda jingle and he'll jingle all the way i mean. I'm sorry sylvia plath. There's a great american poet i can't remember which writer wrote it. It might have been andrew weinberg out. Investigate it's either him or michael cohen. I think yes one of the one of those guys. Well i think we have to end there because you can't heighten from that. Yeah i think. I think we're done talking about clutch cargo's for the day but we still have room for. I think two more listener questions. We have two more episodes of the season of this year the year..
"jeff ross" Discussed on Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast
"To this day a lot of crews that was type of crews still to this day remember. Twins did a bus on that tour in two thousand ten said now here. Diana ross is looking for a tour manager. I remember going to either phoenix or san diego. Somebody's goes phoenix. And she's playing in the round of this big arena like a big thing with twenty thousand people and then afterwards like ms. Ross will see you now and i'm like this twenty six year old. They'd be twenty five. Whatever i was kid. And i the door opens. I just remember the room. Be all white. You know what i mean. And she's wearing all white and as like a white love seat and just seeing that she goes goes down. And i'm like i think i'm gonna faint because it's so craig it's it's just crazy. Only main route a little surreal about what she's great and really fucking talented. Yeah otherwise and it was always great to be a nice to me and great and nice and generous and and then she always. Whenever i would move onto my career and i would run into her. She would always like say i did it for you. All that's gone. Of course i say yes. Then when we have tracy your daughter on tracy yell at ross year who. I knew which like choose like a little girl. Then i'll yeah and so i always choices on. I was telling my mom when i see you. It's she's nice. Yeah well but about up the bus story. With andy satour in two twenty ten. So we're on the bus for about a week couple of weeks remember. We had a bus better. I loved the mature and twenty this fun. Yeah the one thing. I knew this from my old days on the road ride. The bus driver would always say when there are new people on the bus to had not been on a tour bus before rhino but he takes shit on the bus right. That's the person they said wholeness. The reason is because those toilets for whatever reason. Maybe they're better. Ten years later can handle things of volume things of that. Have that are not liquid than not liquid right anyway. Something like that. i've sleeping now. I think we were all probably sleeping on the bus sudden stops. I get woken up by a the bus driver screaming. Who took us sit on the bus. I wake up. And i looked at this water up the entire balls. No it's i remember pulled over of the the bus drivers taking apart the talk..
"jeff ross" Discussed on Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast
"Jeff ross had some experiences over the years you know and i was thinking about some of them were out great the first one of course that comes to mind when you did that prank on me. You remember that door. Oh yeah never got you back for it. I don't for my birthday. That was like a bowling ball. Thing where conan's office was on one end of the hall right. We're both on the corners. Yes it night when the writer has got bored and sometimes during the day. Oh actually. I probably did it. Also we would ball down the hallway into the whatever door. Was there on so my door had a dense in it. But i don't know if that's the prank swings was it well we would ball at the length of the building where there pins or you know the goal was to get it into jeff's office at the end of the hall direct and it was. It was pretty long. It was like a hundred feet. Lee logged in an alley. Oh my god is i. It was like two or three bowling alleys. But there were these magnetic things that i have in my former office here right that. Hold the door open. You press the button. What happened was it was secret. Santa oh right right. And i got conan's assistant laurie. Who is new so i was trying to think of stuff to do for her so i got giant framed portraits of all conan's previous assistance and hung those on her off and also did she like it just stared at me now. I think she liked it. I don't know but yes had one of those mechanisms to. I thought i would build something so she could close the door when she wanted privacy from conan so i figured out how to rewire so that she would have a button on her desk and she could hit it and the door would close and i crossed the wires and shorted out the motor. That's right that's i had to talk like the cleaning later. Someone into opening the door to your office could la no. I'm sure someone else. So i could steal your motor after we get off this. I'm calling elaine. Then i explained it to you the next day that i had order new motor for you. Don't be mad. But i think you were mad. Got a little man. I think i got a little mad anyway. I wanted to bring up. Yeah i wanted to bring up sure. I was listening to count. Conan's podcast with leg up. John leguizamo right john. Leguizamo crazy legs and they go off on the jackie mason thick from dead sullivan show. No me is imitation of me. Being jackie mason. Oh oh okay. I'm gonna start like revolting against that. You worked with john leguizamo right. Yes we know each other okay and so my name comes up and they start both imitating the. Yeah and course. Jon goes johnny legs he goes. Jeff does kind of sound like that me on a plane. Let's by going no sound like that. Well listeners will decide yes. Listeners will decide whether i sound like jackie mason. If they even know who he is but conan's been doing that impression you for yes forever and ever and ever so. You're outrageous at john league somma piling on pretty much much. He didn't earn. It will has really earned it. I guess so. I guess he does. I guess he has. You know true confession. We may have done an impression of you on this show but don't worry no inserted into you. Have someone wrote in an ass. Because i the credits i say your name executive producer. Jeff ross and i just say it like that and so that's become my impression of you. Let's better that's better. I'll take that one swedes. Do you remember the time. I think it was swain's we were on a plane. Yeah flying to new york. And you and i sitting next to each other. Yeah where the two seats here and the two seats on the other aisle in front of us was coenen zell. Bunsen oh yeah and conan winds up seeing this zell bunch. And he's been on the show when he knows are a little bit pre tom brady yes he was still a highschool. Coenen had a chance. It's red is so it was like it was nighttime. It was like yeah i guess. They chatted rut. She's on the isle. He's by the window. Remember suedes yep. There was a moment with a chatting in. Then i done chatting on the plane takes off and she'd just goes to the flatbed thing to go to sleep flying from la to new york after talking like five minutes. She was just like could. I didn't go very far. Then all of a sudden hurt the goes flat so now he can look back at us because her seats not in the way he just looks back at us and as he looking back at us he pushes the button for this thing to recline. He's staring at us as he reclines right. Next door super slow motion. It was really funny. We were how she's never fallen asleep. So fast on a plane using ribs sleep by the time the word per country comes to mind is like five time for beauty sleep. That was fun. Aslam has a good one still living in the then. Obviously i think so. I don't remember what that trip was for men. We have been doing this a long time. Yeah will you especially. I didn't start until a year and a half in. I am the grand old man of this place. Although you're not far behind me swings year year. Three months. Older than me. Which i really appreciate. Let's direct it. Keeps me going sometimes. I think there's so aspects to your career long before you met coenen. I know like jesse's dined to hear about some stories. Because only hinted i think about how you were big rock and roll band road manager. Yes well and how big was i know. You're very modest about that. The truth about it was. I went to nyu and i was the chairman of the concert committee in the loeb student center at nyu right. And so i always wanted was interested in that. I wanted to do it and that was basically to call it a bartending for like a year or two which is by the most fun job. I've ever had. Yeah not a shot at my current job which i love but that was the most fun i ever had. It was like one thousand nine hundred eighty in nothing named like that anymore. Right one thousand nine hundred and new york city. Oh man what bar were you working at. It was called central falls and it was one of like four restaurants in soho at the time was four. So who was the thing allow so. I was bartending. And somebody said to be you you know. They had business works. This band is looking for a tour accountant and like what does a tour accountant do and they said well you just pretty much settle with the promoters and handle the money and tired of the cash so i went on the road with the band called molly hatchet of which nobody now maybe swings and i spent six months on a tour bus with molly hatchet traveling across the country mostly in the middle of the country. You know there's a lot of jack daniels and guns and guns all kinds other things. Let guys go. The whole thing is crazy and other substances people were really into in those days. Got it no shutout twenty five. Just trying to figure it all out you know. I'm like the jew on the bus with molly hatchet. It was pretty funny. Oh i thought mariachi was a bible name. I thought it was a band. No okay no. They were southern. Rock band in the vein of leonard skinner. They had a hit called flirting with disaster. Okay which you guys can look up point. That's all they really had but they did some business and whatever and they needed because they were all out of their mind all the time they need somebody to care the money but anyway keep them alive basically after that ended. Acdc was looking for a tour. Alright so now. I'm on the road with ac dc and that was like multiple days arenas edge and that was fun and then they fired their tour manage or yeah and they went jeff of the tour manager and of like all right so wow i think it's probably more complicated now than it used to be away or realize it but so that i was doing that for a while with them and they were good guys. They were great. Had you picked up what to do from working with the other guy they fired. Yeah i mean it's nuts. It's real Logistical okay knew kind of what i was doing or at least i made it up as i went along effect it. I'm still like i'm still faking it. We all are yet so now the tour manager and then the tour was an coming to an end eventually. Yeah that was like a big time. No buses well actually. There were buses..
"jeff ross" Discussed on Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast
"Inside conan an important hollywood. Podcast i popped my. I'm sorry it's not as bad as the Siblings on the common show on tbs. I'm just gas gala. I'm also a writer on the conan. Show cool well. You must get stopped a lot of the streets and welcome back to coney. We have a great show for you today. Our executive producer jeff. Ross jeff ross is going to be a long. It's great he talks about a kind of the conan. Arjun story lido conan. O'brien yet really. Kind of started with him. Really it was like a did was just a twinkle in his eye. He's had a fascinating career. I know crazy career before even getting delano with conan o'brien. I think i'm surprised. He left that career for this in the music business. Huge music icons veered into comedy. We're still writing for this show. You and i both have been writing for the show in fact sure you can throw me in there. I saw you send a heads up email. I did on a bit. That it got bumped. It's like i will do this after a back from the christmas break. Yeah i got one of those this week to please head writer. I know how the games played. Do you think that those are just going to the sketch. Graveyard yeah. I always assume i'm a child being told my pet is gone to live somewhere else. We actually did too much stuff this week though because it's the last week before the holidays were all of these pretaped bits. That were backed up for weeks and they just have to burn them all this week. So that's often the case when we're up against a break coming up there's not enough time. Oh yeah the doja cat that happened this week right conspiring to keep sketches off the show in real life mentions andy richter as a euphemism for the girth of a penis in the song. Dick which. I don't really know what the whole songs about but have a few guesses so that bumped a lot of comedy off and so it gets pushed over to the next day and so here we are up against a break and all this great comedy. It's like you have to use it up or else. It doesn't roll over to the next fiscal year. Especially if it's holiday related. Yes let's get into our show as we've got our executive producer..
Ross Jeffs on Individualizing Speed Training by Understanding Concentric
"We have an awesome show for you lined up on individualizing factors and speed training. individualization has been one of my favorite topics to get into I feel like one of the most rewarding things that. Seems to happen throughout the process of coaching athletes is finding that athlete who just wasn't responding to the training that they had been given and looking at them, and and having the layers of awareness to understand where they're at and his into as an individual giving them the training they need and seeing them succeed. That is one of my absolute favorite things as a coach and. And that's why these podcasts on training individualization. I just enjoy them a ton, so Ross Jeff's. He was on the podcast back on episode, one forty, five, talking about trainers versus racers, which again is another element of individualization, basically knowing how to train athletes based off of how close they can get to their peak performance output in practice versus competition and how to train them correspondingly. Ross is currently working as a sprints jumps in hurdles coach at the aspire academy in Doha Cutter. He formally has worked in the Netherlands is the sprints and jumps coach. He's also coached under the guidance of Jonas Dodo within this speedwork system. Outside the track field Ross's worked with a number of athletes. From -rageous sports including tennis boxing. Olympic medalists from backs, basketball and rugby sevens, and Ross really has a full gamut of people that he's worked with. He's absolutely one of the most brilliant young coaches I've talked to. He's open-minded. He's curious. He has a huge tribe of mentors and I always learn things that are very applicable whether I reading his articles or obviously talking to him in these podcasts, so for the show today Ross is going to get into the idea behind on three types. Types of sprinting or three types of sprinting athletes and how to identify those, and then how those athletes ten respond best to training, and so I've seen a presentation that Ross did on this I was thoroughly intrigued, and unlike we have to do a podcast on this and so I'm super lucky to have him back and so we're going to get into that. We're going to get into three types of these three types of sprinting athletes identifying them and then how to train them. And whether you attract coach or not, there's a ton of gold in the show just in the sense that honestly if you're a track coach, a lot of times like if you're training jumpers, you may have a group that is almost more going to be close to one type. Were says a team sport. You're going to have a lot of types and so being able to just go through these ideas. It's going to give you a great new layers awareness, and this was an awesome show, so all that being said. Let's get onto episode two six with Ross Jeff's. Ross man awesome. Have you back? How how have you been? has there been any. I've been doing any online coaching in the midst of all this. What's what's happening in the world to track and field right now? Ed, you'll find, have me May Yeah, it's interest. Not Come in Cadillac up in about almost a year now so. Been in lockdown since. At Emma, so we've been there most fought training session close, so there's no, there's not much garnell. Plenty plenty of time was that where this presentation that we're GonNa talk about today was born. I'm sure that's been. It's been in the works right for a long time, but did that. Give you the free time to get all this together. Yeah. The James Baker whose who who runs fullness performance, and he's kind of been bugging me to kind of put together for a while, so it's the right time to do things. For sure I think sometimes when there's little bit more free time or downtown I know for me. It's been a lot easier to get a wider spectrum of guests on for sure on my own end with all this on the for the podcast, but I I was really still I know our our last time with the trainers versus racers was awesome. I mean it gave me so many things to think about an implement, and so I was super excited to see that you add the. New a new categorization, and of course we talked about this like no, not the goal isn't to put athletes boxes, per se, but just the more we can learn about how different outfits respond is is just so incredible and interesting to me and so. Let's kick this off. Let's to tell us about. Your your category, your categorization, concentric, elastic and metabolic maybe to start with the history of it, like where where did all this come from in terms of you? Your journey of deciding or or determining which athletes I know, track sprinters. We're talking about specifically, but which types of sprinters were responding to which types of training? So. Springtime into briefly set the scene fest. I think if you watch. The Olympics there are many commonalities inconsistencies around. Will faucets sprinters in the while. Technically, but there's also some variation, right and all too often this variation schroeck officer. As an idiosyncrasy oh. You know this athlete would run faster if they run like Basil D'Amato, isn't a nominee, so we shouldn't coalpit. Will actually might be inefficient for one person might be actually efficient for a number, and it's the same if you analyze training program I mean in this hundred meter final that it's going to be some very similar themes that coaches through the face, but that also be some very different themes. We know people have run. Teno running never more than two times I meet some of the way up to five hundred six hundred arrests so very early mccutchen career realized that Sanofi just one in very different need to the program that they were given an equal equally, they responded very differently to kind technical changes well. Her when this happens. Time and time again over to for years you start to see some click consistencies than pictures around what kind of profile you haven't is and then to go that people have been putting some ideas out on the topic around neuro. Typing in action type toilets fouts five typing stuff from Hank. Ulcers put some stuff out around muscular Hashtag as good a reset from the distance, running community around Ariel terrestrial runners, so it's kind of blended all these ideas and something that. into something I understand in seeing can apply on a consistent
"jeff ross" Discussed on Dumb People Town
"On twitter unless you had a good one. Today had a good one today. All I wrote. I all I wrote was as God. Is God taking an Improv class? WAS ON. The top of the Parking structure in Glendale charging my car, there's a test would charging station and there was an earthquake, yes. I'm GONNA fuck it. Pandemic to rioting downstairs and I'm going to die an earthquake charging your car. It's GonNa. Take Real. That's so I. Need a location. Earth Jesus. Picking of Twenty Twentieth? Bit where she was like listing all the things she had into at that famous recorded at Largo and she said you guys don't worry. Though because God, says he'll never give me any more than I can handle, which means I just picture the angels up there with God going I think i. think that's enough and God gone. I think she can take. He can take a little bit. Angels are like I. Think they've had it with twenty twenty. He's like Let's see if we. Can Get quaking. Handle it. Yeah, that was great grey tweed. Last story. Let's get into this and let's here. We got wrap it sent in by Pete Yarbrough. A Minneapolis man was arrested last Wednesday night after this is all the way back on April. Twenty third after leading state police on a pursuit on the Indiana toll road, so he's from Minnesota, but he was on the Indiana toll. Road about nine twenty PM officers and two separate marked police vehicles near the ninety six mile marker in Elkhart county observed a Red Mustang because that's totally on brand for. Traveling, westbound at a high speed radar readings showed the car going more than how fast do you guys think this Red Mustang? I assume it's new. They didn't give a year. Yes, going. Is, going. Chow fast fast was enough to make this story. It's not about the speed though I'll tell you that I don't WanNa get you up to like Nascar. Eighty eight. Okay, Jay, what do you think? One twenty okay I think one thirty. Okay one of you. Is Exactly Right Oh so jeff now we get to play the game. Who Do you think is exactly right? Jay, it's you or do you think it's me? Read it again, okay. They observed a Red Mustang traveling westbound at a high speed. A radar readings showed the car going more than blank miles per hour, according to a news release. Jason One twenty, I said one thirty eight I. Think it's got to be one thirty. Okay I think it's me. I made one twenty. The radar reading at that time showed the car going. One hundred and twenty miles per hour. School. Okay both officers caught up to the Mustang with lights and sirens activated, but the mustangs driver refused to stop to. This is what I'm going to read you the headline. Man arrested after tollroad pursue said he thought police wanted to race. Yes, yes. WHAT THEY WANNA do. On, he thoughts I. Go furious style the pace car. I bid low. Thinking like on. The price is right right. I knew you guys would go big sounds like. Maybe there's some twist to it like he's hanging out the window. That's true. That's true. No, he's locked into this race with cops. He's going twenty going twenty. Yes, the Mustang then avoided stops. The mustangs then avoided. Stop sticks deployed by the assisting officer on the eighty four Mile Marker, so that's twelve miles away. He's doing that about six minutes, yeah! Stop sticks were then deployed again and were successful deflating the tires on the Mustang. The man driving the car told police he did not stop because he thought the troopers wanted to race shirt. Yep No, that's not what people want to do. He was arrested on suspicion of resisting law enforcement and reckless driving, and also received several moving violations. He was booked into the county jail. What Age do you guys think? A person is when they believe? Cops just wanted to race them in their Red Mustang. Imagine if imagine it, although all our problems, the world would be solved if. Police brutality. We were mad at them just for racing yeah. Well we are mad at them about race for some issue different West. Right well, said well said. Okay. Our guest you do not have to go I, Jeff. If you don't want to, you can go. You can go second or third. Haga third. Okay. You'll go third all right. J What do you think five years old? Because that's a five year old talent, give me a real game. I race car, real real real guests I'm. GonNa say. Twenty seven twenty seven years old, that's that's some in your twenties. Bravado like I remember Jeff You. Probably we probably met Jeff when he was about twenty. Twenty eight, twenty, six or twenty five. What are you a couple years older than us? Yeah I. Think so I think we met you in New York when you were about twenty five. So this is this is. This is young New York. Jeff Ross Vodka. I think I think it's twenty Jeff. What do you think? What year was the Mustang No. I'M GONNA? Say mid life crisis kind of thing. This guy was going to say this guy was fifty. Eight, twenty seven and Twenty that is a range right there if If fifty is right and I'm not saying it isn't, but if he is an older man and I'm not saying, use it. And he misinterprets getting pulled over for wanting to race. That lack of communication means he is definitely divorced. Zometa show her. His fault. Here we go, we'll close it out here. The man who told the cops he didn't stop because he thought the troopers wanted to race is..
"jeff ross" Discussed on Dumb People Town
"You want to be. A pray steele. Books Ever Julia Roberts movies injuries. Life won't stop talking about. After about an hour, officers broke through the front doors and located the man inside which means, either they waited an hour to get their own. They were waiting for him to get out, or they're hoping to get in. When he had to go through the same window, he did I know. For an hour. They're like buddy. Hey, we know it's almost like they're talking to a dog, though like hey, come on out or trying to coax hat out. have of you eaten hot pocket. Have you know had Jeff? I actually tried my. Pocket during quarantine and I loved it really. What flavor did you go with? It was like a pizza thing. was like Oh. My son was super into little. Tortilla knows which are kind of like many hot five. And I got into those, because, of course, there's a plate of him. He'll eat like fourteen. There's like four laughed I'm like! What are we going to throw these away? Four was enough sodium for week five diarrhea. I've never. Oh, I might have had had. It's insane. It's too much it's too. What does it taste like? It's to heartburn. Tastes tastes like it's like designed in a lab to be great. Okay, so it it. It's like if someone was like. If you've never seen a pizza before, but rolled it. Reminds me, sorry. I don't know if they had these in Chicago, but when I was a kid Stromboli. Yeah, so it's like a little mini Stromboli. That's it. That's exactly Chicago was the last time I had a stromboli really was in Chicago. We could get them in college like right. You'd be full and if there. Is a CAL zone like a cousin to the Stromboli, the is. Lawn over yeah. Right I think I think you're right, yeah! All right after about an hour, officers broke through the front doors and located the man that's out in my mind. I hope they were talking to each other the whole time as officers took him outside and arrested him. The man told ten news breaking news tracker. I don't need that that. He entered the bank just so he can microwave his hot pockets. That's all he wanted. When asked, if hot pockets were worth it. The man responded on camera. Quote Hell. Yeah it was worth it. If you are hot pockets sleaze. Tell me you don't cut that into a commercial right worth event for. And they should put a little thing like we don't condone breaking into a bank, but we get. Version of the Chris Rock bit. Did it? I'm just saying I understand or even better. It's like hot pockets. They won't break the bank, but they'll make you wanNA break into where you go. I like it. That's good. That's really expensive. You can get on a fire if they just if they did just license or whatever that footage. That is a perfect commercial. We don't condone this, but we get it, but we get it. We understand Jeff you're. You're dead on I. think that's so good. Police did not release any further details on the incident that takes care of story number to. Give us a little of going to see at the end you got. A guy was arrested for the dumbest and most confusing reason. I've ever alright Jeff Ross is with us the roast master general. We have one more segment of dumb people town. This is making me feel better. We'll be back right after the. Yeah. Sit around. Out. On..
"jeff ross" Discussed on Dumb People Town
"Around. Town. Hey town, as what would another episode of Dumb People? Population you population Ross Jeffrey. Postmaster General it is so nice to just talk to you. I see you and I. Get a smile on my face. No matter how difficult these times are I, just love you. Brother and I'm so happy to be in contact with you right now. Thank you guys. It's great to see you both and. You haven't changed a bit either. A little bit. A little bit through this whole thing I was. We were texting with Brian. Moses the other day, and just that was on Tuesday and I was thinking to myself. You know what I need right now more than anything to go up to the comedy store late night and be a part of a roast battle I. See that I needed it in our core. Just just the the you know what I and I thought about it, too. We're talking about it and Dan knows Dan's judge. The rose battle with is up there there. For, it, being a battle, there is so much love in that room. Do you know what I'm saying like? Anybody who comes up and just is mean they get. They basically get literally stiff armed by the audience sh-. You come up with love and you do it out of love. Isn't that like the most beautiful thing in the World Jeff? It's it's Cathartic, and it's bonding. It's healing and people. Keep asking me if I missed STANDUP. Not really yet. I do miss the Roast Bat S. will the stand up. I haven't had a break for thirty years. A break like I didn't stop for thirty five right? That's right. You also have one of the funniest. Things happened during this time over all stuck in our house when you had Jeremiah be. The Tiger King on you know and everybody bought it. Everybody bought us so good. Oh, it was. It was one of those perfect bits. But you're my podcast, I've been having you know celebrity, guests and Net, and during the pandemic, you can get big stars her because everybody's whole. Brad Paisley I had Chelsea. Handler had Al Franken and then so having. Joe, exotic didn't seem that crazy. And you both crush it like you let it just enough in the right way, and then like Jeremiah a pro characters like he knew where to play it, and it was like at a time. Were everyone really needed to laugh that hard or just be that suckered into something to distract them away from like everything? You laugh at the bit as it's going on, and then when you realize that you've been duped you laugh at yourself, it's just. The double. So great and again there is love and the reason why the battle is. Love is because you're at the center of it. You're at the top of that iceberg, so like it all trickles down to everybody to Moses to the wave. Judges I always love me enough when a judge doesn't get it and you're like. No, you're not the right way you gotTA. You gotTA. Tell what you love about what they did. It's not all about ripping them to shreds. Well look that's what we try to do. On this show, dump people town. We know roasts, dumb behavior, gross dumb behavior, and so we've got you on here. Let's just go through a couple of stories and I know that we'll all feel better at the end of this if you're ob so I'm so ready for this guy. Did some some Cathartic dumb people town? We're GONNA get our first story sent us Bileny at M. L. Leonard Eight, all common, the number eight, not the word Leonard. Daniel van, Kirk Hashtag dumb people town. You can do that, too, if you WanNa Send Me a dump story that you see, keep it fun. Keep it light because today. We've got a Greenlee O. K. Jau Jeff. Did we ever do a greenlee with you because you're gonNA, love this so much all right so we'll greenlee as a journalist. I owed unquote use that very loosely for the palm down in Florida. He actually was one of the early guys who broke the whole Robert. Kraft you know oshkosh parallel? Okay, he was one of the real story. That's the real story, so he writes about dumb behavior down in Florida, but our theory is that he has a fifteen hundred word count he has to get in and these stories equal about eight hundred words, and so he spent. Most of his articles, explaining things that we already know to us by Geek he one time wrote like two verses of the Thong songs in his description of it. We're like I can't believe these journalists. Explained what an anchor is and how it works, drop it. He also has explained what socks are and where they go on our feet where we have done this. The people that have been like just ravaged their brains by hearing his stories like will Arnett John C Reilly Michael J., so here's the deal so the Bobby Lee almost. Almost. Had to go into the bathroom and take a shit in the middle of a cat so. Here's the Game Dan is going to read the story all right so now we it up and Dan has either. He is strategically placed a bunch of his own fake descriptions of things that we already know and with Greenlee descriptions, and our job is to try and guess whether it was Dan or Greeley. Okay so okay met anytime. There's bullshit. either. He wrote it or I did and so I'm just GonNa, tell you Jeff Dan is so good. Don't try to look for a pattern. We can't even do Jay and I've done this so many times a week. Here Indian River County, which feels problematic to say..
"jeff ross" Discussed on The Endless Honeymoon Podcast
"So I. I love the fact that you said. He fled by the way because he did. Yeah I wouldn't have described it as he left. He fled the for the authorities. Were after him and he had must've been must have been alternate side parking that yeah well. According to him he has read a lot about epidemiology. So He's an expert. Oh wait so not only. Is he living in a shipping container? But he's also a covert truth. This guy gets better. Those guys like a Russian doll of red flags keeper. You get in the more you want to get out. Yeah I mean. This is like the tip of the iceberg with him. I mean that's I feel like I should have stuck with the first attempt which was after like a terrible Valentine's based of awful. What happened Well we plan to go camping on his Land upstate or is he called it just living? That's true when there are no other options. You're just trying survive And he invited his friend to the weekend who was going through. She divorce love. It's up parole office. He fled his parole officer. So this guy. This guy is beneath you. You don't like him he he. You don't stand for the same things you don't like morals you don't you think he's kind of a loser. You don't respect him. So why do you lie to you? Ever text combat. I guess I just feel like if I were alone and like very alone I feel like and I only had a couple of people that I contacted. Then like losing one of those people when you're alone fields really new and will end so yeah Zoa. LemMe ask you something. Do you must care about him on some level right I do. I don't think you I think he means well. He's just a stone cold. Astle sure but I I was going to say. Don't you think he deserves to be with somebody that respects him? Yes yes so isn't staying with him and staying in this data set with somebody that you don't respect and he deserves to be with some of the respect isn't it doesn't seem like compassionate seems like Maybe it's not the opposite of compassion. Maybe it's kind of like not nice to keep them on the hook. You're never going to give him what he wants. So I mean listen if you want to get rid of the Guy. Called the Merchant Marines them and just get him on the road. I mean you are correct. I think with like with corn keynote. It's hard to tell like there are no rules anymore. Everything is upside down.
"jeff ross" Discussed on The Endless Honeymoon Podcast
"Okay. Jeffer- you down to do one more call of coerced. You guys are you guys. Are you guys learning a lot about your relationship in quarantined? Have you shared that with your listeners? Oh one hundred percent we you know it's like I'm sure you have the same experience. Jeff it's like we you have this person that you get along with and you spend time twenty four seven with them and you realize Oh. This relationship is really strong. It's strong enough for me to not be able to get away from this person but all of the annoyances and are turned up and all of the triggers are are more hair-trigger. We fight more often than we ever have. Which is annoying. Because we don't usually fight at all really what about you know Jeff Oh Natasha Okay. You said it. I think it's been a good bonding bonding experience for my girlfriend. And I it's been good. Good we've never really been together. Twenty four seven and you could survive this without like hurting each other. I think it's almost like oh you know this person's done violent and Glenn I can check that off forever Yeah if you didn't murder each other by now you're you're with a murderer and they have a brighter you now. You're probably I think I think I know what I think. I know what you're saying to. It's like no this is like you know they say like going on a vacation with a with a new relationship is like putting it to the test. It's like this is like nine thousand vacations in a row. You know so like I feel like I feel like we're stronger now even than we were before we're in a different situation. We have a two year old. So it's like our life is like extremely regimented and we have a lot of responsibility. She's not murdering you but she's murdering seventy my girlfriend's cooking a lot and she like painted my podcast room and doing a lot of really nice things. Yeah because you find yourself alone with these people and I'm like well if I can't do anything what can I do for the people living in my house you know? At least I can make them have a happier time. You know so. That's Kinda like been fun and then we have this. We have this creative outlet. What's your you have to you? Have Your podcast. Instances like that actually is kind of a fun. Experience is finding ways to be creative through the incredibly small keyhole of not being able to leave your house. You know right and there's an instinct. Let me go right right. Something movie are try to do something that would take a long time like a big project. Because you're in seclusion you know let you know. But you're also sullen seclusion that you want to reach out to people and that's lie on casting and face timing with friends and my family's always on Marco Polo is like twenty five of us You know just saying hi. I'm on a bunch of group tax with buddies. People are reaching out more. You Know My Buddy. My Neighbors. Seth Green and he told me that if somebody texts him he he facetime back just to check in with people. That's pretty sweet. Yeah are you. Are you enjoying this version of life as much as you do like going out to the clubs and driving and doing your sets and having like a night on the town? That's a good question. I don't think I've ever stayed home. this long in my adult life. You know but now traveling to some wary of doing comedies. Since some twenty three or something so be able to stay home for a month and a half is kind of cool. I've never experienced that so I feel like I'm a healthier that I'm not on the road eating a lot of airports food in Comedy Club Food and you look good by the way I looked at your instagram. They look you're looking up Pastrami pictures or what. I think you're right. Jeff like we all are having this. Experience is how I'm feeling this experience of like I thought my life was one thing and then that thing went away and now I'm like well here I am and I'm still alive. So I get to discover this whole different part of what it means for me to be myself from for me to live this life a bike. I got some Mueller Blades Jeff. That's good it's important to stay healthy and get exercise and not feel despair like you know. We'll lose work and it's hard in the financial burden on. Everyone is hard but if I was an ice cooler college or these Olympia that have the Olympics canceled. I would be in such despair so I feel like it's important for the keep your Chin up for the people really a bad or really got screwed. you know the Prom you know. That kind of stuff is high school kids. Who CAN'T SOCIALIZE? It's gotta be brutal like life worth living. You know your teenager and you can't go out. It's so funny you say that because I talked to my mom today and she was actually complaining about the kids who are complaining that they're missing their prom. She was saying they're being spoiled and she was saying that like so. Many people have it so much worse which is true. You're I guess if you get into the sort of the doctors hanging themselves. They're both right there both right. You know he can't expect a high school kid to understand that all at at at any moment but I don't know I mean maybe you're right. Maybe maybe maybe she's right. I don't agree. I'm I'm on your side. Jeff like this this would be absolute abject torture if you were all. I ever wanted to do when I was sixteen seventeen. Eighteen years old is go out. See People at least now. I'm old enough that I'm like enjoying having some time off if you were I mean. Imagine being as Horny as you were at sixteen seventeen years old and just having to stay home with your parents for four months. You just did that. He was home for a month and a half and he founded by just laughed. Yeah he's nineteen losing his mind. Yeah what are you GONNA do? Well Okay we'RE GONNA call. Let's call Zoey and New York Hello Hello Hi Zoe. Can you hear us? Hi Zoe. It's motion casher Natasha's Gerald and our dear friend. Jeff Ross. Oh my gosh I guys. Hey how's it going am? It's fine it is very fine. You're so you're in New York. You're are you quarantining alone will how's it. What's your situation I am? I live alone In Brooklyn and that has been sort of a mixed bag and that you know it's nice to sort of only worry about my own needs but also I haven't had schneider human being and like a thousand years so it's Okay Jeff's nephew just escaped from his parents. If you WANNA fuck. What's what's his deal. Who knows you gotta you gotTa say yes or no right now with no more information book book a forty dollar flights have or Oregon. Oh God I an. Let's do it. So what's going on? Zoey why did you call? Oh I wanted your input your advice on a relationship situation so I am data. Maybe not dating a man who had tried to dump twice already but it just wouldn't take And I I thought that quarantine would kind of being you know. We're not pointing together. The final sort of nail in that coffin But it has not been He has sort of reached out to me regularly. Now Miss you and like to give me boring weather updates and I wanna shut it down for good. But I'm having a hard time. Because his circumstances are pretty bleak like water his circumstances so I would describe them as Gutter punk slash homeless adjacent. Where does he live? So he's currently living in east shipping container. Yeah I not to pick them Shipping Container. He has not been in two months away so he lives in a shipping container. So when you said the final nail in the coffin you meant that literally. Yeah I mean it's nice to have you know. Text me to make sure he hasn't like frozen to death. We're is he. What what port. So he has a plot of land in upstate. New York and plot of land Like just land wait. Hold on. He's a homeless adjacent. Got punk living in a shipping container. But he's also a landowner. Well he bought the land with drug money. So it's very confusing. Well I don't think you should break up with him. I'm getting that signal loud guy. Seems like a keeper for sure. Yeah so I guess. My my question is sort of How do I break up with somebody who I think you? I think you do it with a forklift. I JUST. How did he not cruel? When somebody is like literally caked in two months of their own self I mean you you are I hope it. Are you just trying to be funny or you really mean to him to try? I'm trying to figure out your dynamic discount. You have sex with him. Not In the container at my house. Yes SPEC you've never fucked them in the container now unfortunately. So let me ask this in this quarantine. Have you fucked him it. No no no Oh God now he fled and I stayed here and I sort of thought like good you flat. I stay here like this guy and his shipping container. He does not very spotty one bar service God.
"jeff ross" Discussed on The Endless Honeymoon Podcast
"Data. What Jeff if you want Dana to open up to us all you have to do is pay her spend some money on her wishlist on Amazon. Open right up. I think it has to do with pain. I think that she likes like like some kind of like pins or some kind of like like a pleasure. It's pure like hedonism a okay. Okay okay thank you like to dress like characters from success succession. Is he getting closer on on my phone? Yeah all right so you won't tell us I'm Dana. Let me ask you this. What if what? If what if I gave? You my word that we would beep beep it out and and you say it and we won't refer to it but it will give us context and an ability to make fun of you but we won't we I promise you. Can you can sue me for. I've got a lot of money but between me different you can sue jeff. Raw Jeff is a very very successful producer and comedian. If we this out yes I promise you we will be out I promise. Okay I'll say okay I for money. Wow.
"jeff ross" Discussed on The Endless Honeymoon Podcast
"Hey Jeff I'm Oh how you doing. Oh man this is crazy. The last time I was at a party I think might be your Hanukkah party. I don't think we're doing parties anymore. Jeff I think that's kind of the end of that. This is our party I open a catering business so it's like that doesn't even exist anymore. Neither does the stand up comedy business too. If you're two for two we're GONNA come back but you know he's not going to come. Back is a close up magician there. What do you envision over what he? What do you envision is a standup show Come back how how's IT GONNA look Well as we all experiences. We're starting out is you know. Audience is small so I don't ever want to go back to that. I'd rather stay home and either find something else to do or or be broke and perform for like social distance audiences. I thought wouldn't it be silly? I thought you were saying you. Didn't you'd rather stay home and be broke than ever perform to audiences less than the thousands of people you currently perform for. No WELL WE PERFORM FOR NOBODY. So if you tell me all right you can perform every night for forty people sitting ten feet apart. I'm like all right. I'd rather just call your podcast and stay home and do other write a movie. I was thinking. Jeff here's my idea for a live show or the first one out. There's a drive in movie theater about forty five minutes away from La we do. We do a big do a big show. Everybody comes in their car and instead of hearing laughter. They just honk their horns. Are you love that that I would do that anything? Once I've been on the back of trucks performing desserts in war zones like I'll perform on zoom outperform. I don't give a shit. Have you done zoom so yet? I've just a zoom like showed up at friend's parties so I like it because I could scout everybody out without them knowing it. That's nice as a roaster. That's really good. You get the kind of sniff out everybody's weaknesses for a extended period of time and then attack. When I've got them all revved up in my chamber I can say all right mute me unleash the roast master. Jeff Mute this mother. Jeff you've been doing these instant INSTA- roasts and you made fun of Cova patient who is on a ventilator right. He told me he said he said brand. Just make me laugh please. I don't know if it's I mean it was. I saw Jeff. It was beautiful. It was hilarious. It was touching. It's it was exactly what you do. Which is like sweetness through through roasting. But I was also concerned with making a person with an upper respiratory. Pneumonia situation laugh too. That's a good idea. Well you're right. Because he died did he know he's it was actually a nice connection. Because I asked the fans like and I put it on instagram. Like looking for the guy because these people come up on my instant roast randomly so he was a one in a million or one thousand chance of and then he's sitting there in a New York hospital on a respirator waiting for help and you arrived. Yeah then I arrived to To try to give them some levity but also like you have fans like salivating. Waiting for a roast. So I can't even remember what I said but I think it had something to do with. How ugly he was. I'm sure the mask didn't help at all but I kind of no not at all. I've got a better at a rough time with the Kobe. And using the hospital for a while. And now he says he's doing better and he actually watched the INSTA- roast with the nurses he said and they really last a lot so I felt good myself. That's really sweet. I'm Kinda depressed. Jeff thought that like you would have like a really positive attitude towards comedy and you would say it'll back in like fuck it it's over. I just enrolled an online law school. I'm divorce attorney now if anybody any listeners. If they would've put an end to their endless honeymooners. Siham meal some legal the way things are going Jeff. We might be calling you for some of that advice as well. Not just as a podcast. Got The torch the torch master general coming in the legal brief master general. Wait so jeff your quarantining alone. Now I'm here with my girlfriend and two dogs. Yeah you found a German shepherd on the street in Hawthorne what's founder and we. We almost got a German shepherd. We tried to buy German shepherd from a weird Russian woman that promised us they would attack anybody that looked at funny but then in the end. We've got a little scared. Yeah no we. We traced her whole thing and she was a movie dog she was she was. She tortured a terrorist and zero dark thirty now. She's retired really your dog has an MD PhD. She's just a you know we actually thought she was really old and lamps and she's blind but but As we kind of take take her in our house in our hearts. I feel like she's getting younger. She's getting stronger and her name is Rona Corona. So that's very sweet here in inviting this love and tear life this new responsibility so she was so gross That we had the the the groomer came in charged US double. She had like flies and our regular dog. Luna was so mad at us for bringing this homeless crack whore into her ballots. Are you noticing any of the Telltale German shepherd signs like like ultimate loyalty and suspicion of strangers. She Barks Jeers. Oh that's an even more traditional terms. Well you're that might not work out really well. Yeah but I I. I've I've seen her. She hasn't had she hasn't been like we you know. I'll put it this way. My girlfriend has a Dutch shepherd right. Who's eight years old? Who's in really good shape? And she's a greatest song ever and But my girlfriend's a vegetarian so she's never had stocks. Never had Toshi met me so now she thinks I invented this. I mean you you're a do so that's close enough isn't it? You introduce Pastrami and I have gone back to the same Deli for the Pastrami Sandwich. Unit is to five times. I love that good and you know what it's made life better. We really never had Pastrami met Jeff. Yes he was at Largo and he had the sandwich and I couldn't stop eating and he told me it was from green bats and it was Pastrami and I've gone back many times over the years for it wasn't this year. No is a couple of years ago anyway. The point is all right. Well Jeff Destroying Bobby. Yeah now you know what to have in bed on. Mother's Day I was just GonNa want to keep your fucking Pastrami away from my wife. Dude I destroy me Well Jeff. Thank you for letting. Us call you and reach into your quarantine We love you. We miss you and we thought maybe you could help us. We do advice calls and people call in. They've got issues and we try to help solve them and you can also roast them if you want. Well that might have to happen. Because I can't really say that I'm GonNa be a relationship expert. So neither are we could get if they can get through me. Maybe you can help. Give them some some hell. Let's do it we're going to. We're going to how Dana in Austin you're going to hear a second of Silence Jeff and then we will be connected. Jeff Still Connected Olen Dana. Can you hear us? I can hear you pretty well. Okay far away but I got it. We'll we'll try to get closer. What's happening so my issue is that I met this man named Charlie on a niche fetish website about a year ago The men on this site are willing to spend money to establish relationship or friendship with the women on the site They sometimes by content like photos or videos or send us money via email or other payment ass bias stuff off our wishlist Charlie specifically stated that he was looking for a real relationship and not something transactional so I made him think. I was interested in him when I really only wanted his money And now almost a year later. I am actually interested in him and I don't know how to move forward with something real after my initial deception. Okay I have some questions. What's what's the niece. I have some questions and you have weekends. 'cause I'm I'm looking for a assistant for my Production Company Jeff. You don't even know what the niches yet. I don't feel comfortable answering that because it's such a specific thing that I feel go without like our communities really small man we can we guess towards it or like how Nisha Nisha like white panties and he liked has a flashlight and looks up your panties. I now I think if it's not I.
"jeff ross" Discussed on The Endless Honeymoon Podcast
"What are they upset about though or late but I mean like it's GonNa open up in a few weeks. They just wanted to be opened up opened up now. Yeah they don't WanNa rights are being trampled upon but more than that. They think they're being trampled upon for something that isn't real or Israel and was started in the lab in China and They released on purpose or it isn't real or they're inflating the numbers. I mean there's like so many different swirling narratives at once that inflating the death numbers actually in the people that die of and then they think like oh. No one dies of the flu anymore. I mean I read this list of questions I have for the for the assed Cova establishment today and it was just like every you want me to read it. Every one of them was stupider than the last. You want me to read it. I'll do it. I mean you gail a Redo the list of I think it was nineteen questions I have. Don't they don't read. I'm reading all nineteen okay. Every single one of them is getting read. So buckle up for a seriously long intro to this podcast. 'cause it's about boggle your mind. Oh it's gone. Is Vin deleted? I'm not reading it. That's how fucked up this information. Is they write up fucking facebook post. And then it gets flagged by facebook. And they're like actually. You're going to kill senior citizens with this post so point all right. Well look you just got spared quite an intro but you know what is probably good because we have a great guest today. Oh I'm so excited. Let's call him now because you know it's getting late. Let's do it You know he's He's been on every roast. He's got multiple netflix specials and comedy central specials. He's one of the sweetest and meanest Comedians in the game. The legendary Jeff Ross. Hey tosh I've noticed something about you recently. Despite.
"jeff ross" Discussed on The Endless Honeymoon Podcast
"Podcast I'm your host Natasha Lazaro. On her assistant my name's. Moshe casher episode fifty three of the endless honeymoon. Podcast and we are coming to the end of the road. Don't you think that people were kind of getting to the end of people's ability to stay indoors I feel like more and more people are like scrambling to find a way? Yeah I I read about some ice cream shop in Connecticut. That like opened up for day and people were so mean and rude because they weren't used to being in public for weeks shop manager had to like post on social media that they were closing again. For how bad everyone behaves. Do there was a restaurant in Colorado. That was in the news today that they opened for mother's Day in defiance of the closure order and they were like. We didn't just have a good mother's Day. We did double the business of a normal mother's Day people are like you know what? Give me Co vid. I'm down to die in order to get out so I kind of knew this was going to happen by the way I've always kind of suspected the what would I kind of suspect that the government knows it too that the quarantine thing was never designed because human beings truly can't stay indoors forever. I mean they just beyond the economic implications of people are starting to like scramble. And go crazy I really think the quarantine orders were in order to to to soften the blow as much as they could to give the hospitals a chance to get the the first wave of covert patients in and out the door sometimes unfortunately In in a bad way in order to get them the second can and I don't mean the literal second way but just in order to get some of the numbers down and catch up and I think that I think were in California. We've done a pretty good job of that but you're starting to see people are fucking starting to crack up. Dude I mean I'll tell you specifically the Former young people in alcoholics anonymous a community of San Diego California. If my facebook is any judge is the center of the Cova Truth or community. I mean it's so funny. What do you say? Republicans and hippies. It's one hundred percent. The Cova troopers are broken down into trump voters and like anti VACs hippies. It's so funny like that that however far you drift if you get far enough on the fringe you meet your enemy out there just like oh. I guess we're friends. I mean this fucking plan. Democ documentary the amount of people that I met in. Aa Conventions. Engines in San Diego. When I was like seventeen that are sharing this plan. Democ documentary from the from the bowels of San Diego. I'm like what is it about Sandiego specifically that these people that were like the last time I checked in with them was like. We're like Hari Krishna. Juicers and like working at a tattoo shop are now like due to dog. The oldest. Who's working for Dr Fell? She was put into an internment camp. And there's no free to tell her tale. It's just like okay. Why do you? Why are you the person that I should listen to not the the medical community? I should listen to you ten years ago. You were a failure. Now you've what you've caught up in you you've woke you've read. You've taken a red pill on the beaches of San Diego speaking of the beaches of San Diego by the way and speaking of cracking up and needing escape the beaches in California are on fire right now and I snuck to a beach in the middle of the night recently but I was socially distant. I was far away from everybody. Technically this was illegal but I went out to the ocean. It's glowing blue right now. There are bio luminescent fido plankton in the water and when the waves crash it turns fucking blue and jumped on my surfboard and I paddled out. I've never experienced anything like it and was a peak experience. It was an unforgettable. I will never forget it for the rest of my life experience when I would paddle in the water. There would be a glow. A trail of glowing. So where do people go? They WANNA see this. You can't go. It's illegal today off the beaches be responsible covert but anyway. What I did was I went out. I could see fish in the water swimming but not I couldn't tell I couldn't see the fish I just saw the trail and when I would splash the water. It was like broke a glow stick open. You're like Ariel. I was exactly like I wanted to be a real girl. You're like a mermaid. I was exactly was Merman for one night. I was Merman and it felt so good and it reminded me just being in the ocean after after. All this time reminded me like. Oh there's a world out there we're going to get back to the world there will be. We will be back to the world right before climate change at all for the world ends. There's a world that's ending out there. We got to give back to quit because it's getting hot out there. I'll tell you what though when I was on the beach like I'm standing there and this like family sets walking toward me and I'm like hey like we're on the beach in a quarantine. I'm standing by myself. Obviously I don't want you walking towards me like and then I was telling my brother about that. And he's like well. There's no real risk if you're outdoors and they were. I mean they were six away the whole time but I was like. It's not about actually getting the virus. It's about the boorishness of people walking toward me. But then I was thinking to myself like it's not really normal. Is it that my instinct when a person walks towards me to be re re repulsed like when a human being when I see a human being edged towards me I'm like Oh get the fuck away from reveals in is not a good feeling no especially just for humans any human any person. I don't accept you and our kid like I don't want him like the idea of hugging my brother right now. Sound simultaneously like nice or my mom sound simultaneously nice or Claudia Schiffer Sunset Simultaneously Nice or grinds I don't know why grind or baby her weirdly name baby. It sounds like listening nice and horrible. I can't imagine hugging someone. That isn't in my bubble. Do you feel that way? I sometimes had dreams. I don't know have James. I'm hugging people. Wait what are just like saying hi to friends and let me walking. I don't know just people are just getting that feeling them being like. Oh I can't do that like waking up thinking that I know you main. I'm just kidding I have those dreams to just like your. It's like a relapse dream you know an AA. You would have that when you get sober. You all of its. Every dream is the same socks. Actually because you have this dream where you're like you are using but you don't get to experience the fun of being high. You just have the guilt of having relapsed and then you wake up. It's like the shittiest thing in the world. But it's kind of like that. It's like you're not getting the love for me was like you're not gonna the beauty of embracing your mom. You're actually just getting the like no. I just got mom cove it. Wait you have James about embracing your mom. I don't know what you're who the fuck are you embracing said fucking Morrissey who do you embrace in your dreams? I gotTa pay more attention. I don't know just a feeling I'm GonNa wake you up in the middle of the night tonight. The other things like our neighbors. Would we do their neighbors tonight? They wanted to do group. Karaoke or neighbors invited us to do Karaoke in the street. They brought the sanitized wireless Mike and they set up karaoke station and they were singing. Karaoke and it was kind of too bad because they had technical issues and they had worked so hard they set up disco balls on top of their house and like there was a screen that we could read the lyrics of. I was so excited to do it. There was we just needed to get the Mike thanks. We're going to get it worked out. But how does that We're perfecting it couple. Couple O- couple of white. I would say middle aged adults the in the middle of their street singing Karaoke. I mean that s some real. That's when you know the neighborhood has been gentrified when there's two couples singing Karaoke in the street. Well sorry about that everybody but it is nice kind of try to get back to normal like just even the little inklings of normal that I felt. Have you felt anything like that for a bike ride? You bought a bike. I know but now I need to go out more. Would you mean like I feel a? I don't like going out in a mask ochre so I don't really WanNa go outside lake. I don't really WANNA go on walks but you went for a bike ride to back. I did resume pass people. You told me you were having fun on that bike ride. I had an amazing time on the bike ride but that was just once saying up to a family and spit on them and say covert right off. That's what you told me. No but I'm saying in general I have found. It's been hard to leave the house because of the stress of the mask are just to walk the dogs around the block or something and the mask and like I don't know I just I just. The thing is stressful to me so I find that I don't get out enough. You're saying tonight the kids she wants to touch every single thing and then she's like trying to put like metal a metal fence in her mouth and I don't know I feel like tonight. We went out to do the Karaoke thing and our kid came out. She was like barefoot and an unkempt and in a tie-dyed shirt and she was jumping up and down and running on the sidewalk and in the grass and trying to sing along to the Karaoke and grabbing the Mike and Banging on a drum. And I was like this is what you're supposed to be experiencing as a little kid. You know like our neighbors said off classic California Toddler Barefoot tie-dyed Shirt and I was just like yes. This is what I was doing like. You're supposed to be out and experiencing the world not like trapped in your in your compound but we're doing what we have to do right now but I do. I just like I can feel that were. The walls are are going to crumble. The walls of quarantine will crumble. There's no way around that eventually. They will crumble. And the government will Will open things back up because it's going to happen and then we're GONNA have to figure out what happens next. sounds stressful. It's all stressful living in stressful times. Our parents had Kinda easy didn't they? They had like the least stressful years in modern. Memory he goes I World War One before World War One it's all just like a a morass of horrid and then it's like World War One World War Two the Cold War and then like the and then things kind of calm down a little bit and then from like the seven from like seventy to like this year in this country. Things were like slightly chiller like the nineties. Were very boring. Missile Nineties. Yeah that was. That was nice although there was gang violence and lots of killing and you know what the irony. Oh you mean like that. Like Courtney love grunge. I don't give a fuck disaffected like like detachment. Yeah right yeah. It's harder to be that way now. Yeah dislike you know being? Just sort of nihilistic. Yeah I guess I guess you don't have the option to be nihilistic right now because people are dying although you know what these. Cova troopers maybe. I gave him short shrift. They're pretty fucking nihilistic. You know there's like fuck it. I'm down to kill my grandparents. If it means I can go deep sea fishing. I gotta get out there if I if I can't get a cheeseburger. I'm willing to sacrifice my grandma for cheeseburger. Well that is nihilism. Wait so the Kovic truckers. What are they upset about though or late but I mean like it's GonNa open up in a few weeks. They just wanted to be opened up opened up now..
Alec Baldwin gets brutally roasted on Comedy Central
"Alex true passion is always been the theater Alex loves to hit the stage because it can't press charges. hello. so this is the roast on Comedy Central of Alec Baldwin Sean Hayes as the roast master but of course you have regulars that show up season to season like comedian Jeff Ross he's done a lot of roasting and Jeff Ross had a few things to say about Alec Baldwin Alec is actually my neighbor in Greenwich Village which was a pretty safe neighborhood until you moved in. if you're a big star I watch you get arrested for punching a guy over a parking spot. six nine valley your car and help your brother's business. so are you in the movie Pearl Harbor which was worse than the actual Pearl Harbor. the roads are. they are not also Robert deniro was a roaster of Alec Baldwin and Robert deniro. as you can imagine didn't have a lot to that we could air because he likes to use the curse words but we added that get some of Robert deniro's best. thank you for inviting me to do this now rocky and Bullwinkle will be the most embarrassing thing about. and that was it that's all we got the right one. this app that the app was it was pretty bad now I what typically happens is that the person who is getting roasted in this case it's Alec Baldwin you they can they can roast the people who are roasting them so Alec Baldwin took the microphone and roasted some of the people who had been resting him. Jenner is an American gold medalist to change genders and somehow still manage to be the least
"jeff ross" Discussed on Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast
"Fun. Known you for years. The heart. You want me to start crying and middle. I'm gonna start crying our guest this week is back for different engage on this fight Gasol to be. Yeah. I don't know. I ju- we do it us a context. He jumped reducer director writer, Kasur lichner. And one of the funniest most fearless stand up. Comedians of his generation, who is going to be good. Ladies and gentlemen, Jack or. And I actually you've seen them in movies like American dreams. Nationals. Secured the adventures, you're in the adventus Rockin owing why? I couldn't even get into that research shoot. Chills where Mike couldn't get into it or you couldn't get into it, I. Yeah. Boda old cell along came Polly of that. Okay. The worst intro class worst than Troy, ever, has the MO Jo movie emoji down low, Jim Novy TV show Swedes Greg, the bunny children's hospital American, dad. Family guy, this Simpson sneaky Pete and crashing. He'll so correct this screenplay for the recent feature. The comedians that five years, yes. Starring Robert deniro, Danny devito en me Gilbert, guy free. And that's not all my friends. You've also seen as memorable performances in that comedy central roast of everyone from Pamela Anderson to Bruce, Willis. I've been in those and starting several of its own terrific specials, including Jeff Ross roast America jet Rostro stops Jeff Ross rose permanents Jeff throws brazos county jail was grotto, sprayed, so I don't roast criminals live at brazos county lie. Known string tension. As well as this series. Jeff Ross intros onto the my career. Crows and Roth Waigel bumping might. Jumping my show, John. He got some of those right gay co-starring are one time gets gets, Dave attell. He's also the author of them very funny. Memoir, I only roast the ones I love which I believe is still available from Jamaican guy telling us folks outside the horn, Cardi case, brand new Netflix series, cold, historical rose, and also features yours truly in the role..
"jeff ross" Discussed on Maltin On Movies
"I'm not sure I think it was I think it was not so much that I was brave or trying to make a point Leonard. I think it was really I really would do anything for a laugh. Well, you've underscored that word anything. You've you've proven the point many times over now. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. So it's so crazy because I saw you, we've see we usually see you either at fourth of July at Fred Willard's and or or somewhere out in about like, like itself by south west walking down the busiest street in the city. And you'll you would tell us what was coming up so before the special aired you told me you got. I think you're going to really dig it. So it's that kind of thing where I get we've gotten to talk to you. When you've had your sort of this is what I think I'm going to do. This is what I think I'm going to do. And that's part of what makes it. So special is to see things come to fruition and go shit. They happened. You know, it's a big deal. You know, I always want to take big swings so much so much stand up. Out there and it's a good time. It's a gold, rush of standup right now. But you also go, well, how do I stay relevant? How do I keep the roasts not from getting predictable? So I go. Well, let's make that lane highway and roast, not just celebrities and tuxedos, but my live audience, you know, to pumping mic shows or, or in this case, we have a roast battle show where the commute young newer comedians will roast each other. And now I'm roasting historical figures. Bob sag it plays. Abe Lincoln John stamos place. John Wilkes booth. And and and I play myself as a comedian in the eighteen sixties, so it's still a roast. You don't have Abe Lincoln laughing, but you have those, too soon moments with the audience, right? If they're not used, you know, seeing someone is revered, and loved, as a blanket be told that he should have emancipated the mole from his cheek. But, but that's what's so much fun about the I, I love when anyone has a chance to learn. And so the best part, and I have so many comic friends who watch roast battle for this is, it's you and either two or sometimes three depending on who all's with you giving them sort of explaining, I liked this joke. But I think that if you did X, Y Z, and so more than it just being funny because it is funny. It also goes into was did this work, or here's what I thought you can do instead, and so as for anybody watching it's educational too. So it's not just mean you know, because that is the difference comedy of seven point. Yeah. You know, otherwise it's noise, it's elevator music. You want to be remembered, not just for what you say. But what the reaction is. You know. All right. So tell us about working with the cops you another special with the Boston police depart. This was arguably much more terrifying. That's what I was wondering, you know. I always had an affection for cops. I studied a grew up in Newark. Can I studied karate and all my karate teachers were Newark detectives, and they were fun guys? They were real. You know, like macho type guys and, and even as I got older walking around my hometown. New York City. Whatever the cops, it's a hard job. Everybody's yelling at you could get shot. And he's second. I did a couple who ride alongs years ago, just for fun with Nick Greenwich Village cops and my neighborhood and I was like, here's a tough gig and then. You know, there's a there was a, you know, all these. Shootings, and so on that were sort of giving rise to the black lives matter movement. And obviously there's bad cops. And there's also a lot of really good and great cops. So it occurred to me like what has happened and what's going on and had a cops feel about this, which they don't normally get to talk about. So I did the same thing. I do what the jail I put out a big ask all over the country, all the, the obvious ones Chicago, New York, Detroit..
"jeff ross" Discussed on Maltin On Movies
"And, and it was just I missed that I missed that time in my life, a lot, the problem, you're lucky, you got in on that, that you got to. Yeah. We spend time with some very, very lucky and made some great friends through that. And even you know, it's interesting, you mentioned on his daughter, Mindy, Rickles was very funny and she's. I wanted I wanted on this World War Two roasts that I was talking to you about the historical roadshow to have a Representative of America's greatest generation, you know, somebody who represents my uncle Murray. My uncle Albie guys who are in World War, Two, my uncle Murray, was a medic who liberated the concentration camp. So I'm like shows about an Frank and World War Two and you know what, what, what kind of comedic spin could I put on it, and I thought hard about it. And I thought you know what Don Rickles long before he was CPO Sharkey on TV was an actual naval seaman, and the Philippine in the Philippines, which he talked about a lot and this act. So I called Mindy Rickles, and I said, what do you think about a navy uniform full prosthetics? And you play your father. Oh my God. And she did it, you'll see it. She, it's a really moving and all. Also hilarious tribute to Don and also a nice, sort of tip of the hat to, to the greatest generation. That's great. Yeah. It's a really beautiful thing that she did that the problem is, when you are with those people who are so good. It means that, you know you kind of raise the bar. And that's why it's it's tough for me. And this applies to everything, whether it's music, or movies. But you don't find everything incredible. Because they have to come and go up to what you've grown up with, you know, we have Dom del for the life of me Christmas time. Dom deluise in the house, and buddy Hackett and the two of them going at each other. And I'm sitting there, first of all, confused as to how they're in front of me. But also just listening there. So fucking funny. And you just it just doesn't it doesn't get better than that. It just doesn't so that's how I feel again, that's part of why we respect you is because you have that kind of humor where it's natural. Yes, I know you work really hard. But you know, you're also just funny and I've seen you just in conversations you can make a laugh. But that's but that's not nothing. You know, there are a lot of times, you meet, you meet a comedian, who just sort of they tend to be quite shy cutter reserved. We know and no one should have to be on twenty four seven that's not required. But you do sort of get a sense of who has to work to kind of get there, and who just sort of, is that way, and we're raised around those guys entertainment. It makes you it makes it really hard to laugh at other people. That's it. When entertainment and I, I went on the air, these cover a lot of events. They go to an art gallery opening..
"jeff ross" Discussed on Inappropriate Earl
"Of our good pals together work together and hang together getting back to your podcast 'cause i really i skim with jeff ross on items yeah please support jeff ross i cannot all you don't have to support you'll you just come over check it out and if you're not entertained it's fine but i find that if you come over and give it a chance you might be into it this week our episode is about the white house correspondents dinner in the reaction and how the association of reporters through michelle wolf under the bus for polish ising for her body performance and and last week we had a a ghost story it's fun i can see why you like doing it or i can see why you've done two hundred something up sets it's just i try and ask each guest's something that they i mean obviously i'm gonna ask you about roasting and who inspired you you know i was a huge done rickles fan you know you were good friends with them try and dig a little deeper you know with certain people you know maybe my fans in your fans hair topic oh we've never heard him talk about this and i think you know where i'm going i grew up in the eighties watching miami vice and there was don johnson good good guy out do you know asked me about don john philip michael thomas i never met him do you know if you listen to the very last episode of miami vice has the in credits are rolling you can hear him fall off the face of the earth just just because right off.