6 Episode results for "Jason Romano"

Episode 040 The Uniform of Leadership with Jason Romano

Relationships & Revenue

58:44 min | Last month

Episode 040 The Uniform of Leadership with Jason Romano

"What's up guys. This is jason romano host of the sports spectrum. Podcast and author of the book live to forgive and a uniform of leadership and we are listening right now to the relationships and revenue podcast with. John hewlett this is relationships and revenue. These show where real answers come from real discussions about what holds men back in their relationships at home and in business better. Bottom line at work means improving life at home. This show is all about helping. You become a better entrepreneur and a better man. Welcome back everybody to relationships and revenue podcast. I'm your host. John allen so happy you decided to join us today and i have a very special guest for you. Jason romano is with us today. Jason how are you. What's up john. How you doing man man. I am fantastic doing much better than i deserve that same here. Glad to be here. This is awesome. Thanks for inviting me on your show. You bet you bet. Glad to have you here so listeners. If you're not familiar with who jason is. Let me fill you in. So jason as you heard in the intro. He is an author of two fantastic books. By the way jason speaker. He's been a media professional for over twenty years. He was a producer on. Espn excuse me emmy award winning producer. Which and your award is where. Because i don't see it behind you there it's on the mantle downstairs to show everybody of course you've got to display of emmy. Don't you watch us me if i had one. It's doubt a above the fireplace in the living room. That's where nice nice all right place of prominence like that like that's right all right and so he also mentioned that he is a podcast host as well. He's the host of sports spectrum podcast and on that particular podcast you interview athletes and coaches and entertainers personalities. But give us you. It's a bit of a twist. Have just anybody on your show us right now. We could have every athlete. That's available but we're a little more selective. I think because the content that we produce is very don't call it niche content niche content. However you pronounce that word but we our goal is to glorify god and all that we do with sports spectrum and so the conversations that we have intersex sports faith and so if somebody is on our show you can you can guarantee that. Their faith is important in in their lives in an important part of their lives. So that's kind of what distinguishes us i think from a place like espn or bleacher. Report or fox is that we are very in I guess Intentional about talking about these players. These athletes coaches whoever. We have on about their faith. In jesus gotcha okay. And that's actually a nice little segue into something. I wanted to talk about briefly for you listeners. To let you know the guests that i have on the show every single person on here for a reason now. They're not always on here for the same reason shirts. hopefully by the end of the interview. You'll know why. I decided to have jason on. But there's always a reason for every guest i have on and the really cool thing is each of the guests either was ahead of time or has become a friend a friend to me and obviously a friend to the show and hopefully to you all one day as well and we'll tell you at the end how to get in touch with jason all right so we talked a little bit about you jason and to mention to the listeners. Also some of the things that you worked on when you were at. Espn see if they even recognize some of the news. I have a suspicion they might but you never know sure. Jason worked on shows like sportscenter. Monday night football. Mike and mike in the morning sunday. Nfl countdown game day and a whole host of others so he got his chops on espn. And that's how he made his connections in the sports world. Jason mentioned earlier that his faith is very important to him. It is to me as well listeners. And so one of the things. I wanted to talk about jason. It's it's twofold one. I wanna talk about you and what you've done in kind of if if you wouldn't mind just take back a little bit kind of how you got your start and how you even got into espn and then. Have you transitioned into where you are now. Sure you know john. When i think back to kind of where i am now. It really starts with being five six years old and sitting in my grandfather's living room with my grandfather and my dad and watching sports They were the ones that introduce new sports. Show me sports you know. Show me who. I can remember in my household on a sunday in the fall. You know the nfl was always on and my dad is a big giants fan. My grandfather Before he passed he's a huge green bay packers fan. And you know. I watch those games and of course i didn't choose either of those teams. I've been in dallas cowboys fan. Because that's what kids do right. They rebel And i saw the star on the helmet at five or six years old. And i thought man. This is amazing. These guys these heroes of mine. Roger staubach and tony dorsett and danny white. You know after roger retired like those were my heroes in the early eighties watching sports. So i developed this passion for sports in many ways i tell people not just when i was six or seven but all the way through high school and even into college sports was innocence. My religion my god. Because i didn't grow up in faith or anything like that really and have a deep rooted interest in who got was or any kind of faith so sports was was what the idol was in my life. I ran into that. I gravitated towards that. I put all of my energy and effort into whether i was playing sports watching sports. That's all i cared about. And so i credit my time of even getting to espn from really those early years of watching sports in studying sports. I mean i studied it. I had no books. And i would read the newspaper and fight my brother for the sports page every single morning at the box. Score back in the eighties. Because right i'm old enough. I'm sure maybe you. Are john a date you but all. I am in the eighties. That's what we did that. We didn't have the internet so we had to run to the newspaper and see who won the game the night before. And you know maybe you got a game locally on. Espn that you could watch your a local channel or whatever but for the most part you had it in your area correct tonight like even dallas. As i root for the cowboys they were on. I would say maybe a out of the sixteen games were on in my house which is still a lot for a team in dallas and growing up i grew up in upstate new york. You know the cowboys weren't the local team giant's local team. The jets the bills the patriots when they got a little bit better so those are the teams that you wanted to watch every week and i can completely understand why fans of local teams. You know. Stay with those teams because those teams that are on every week but for me especially thinking about the eighties you know. We didn't have satellite tv. We didn't have the internet. We certainly didn't have cell phones so the only way to keep up with your team if they were on. Tv was the sports page. The next day or magazine s'mores illustrated every was was a must read or even sport magazine which was out once a month every every periodical back then was so much more valuable than it was now. Because now is saturation and you see it everywhere but back then it was a big deal and so that's where i developed my love. It took me all the way through high school into college. I went to to college specifically for broadcasting. Because i realized i wasn't going to be a pro athlete. So that's where. I kind of set the stage if you will and started planting the seeds for a journey in this broadcasting world and that took me after i graduated to local radio in albany new york for three years loved my time there. My hometown and then moved to bristol connecticut. Twenty years ago again. That journey at espn in left the spn three years ago almost four years ago now but it's been an amazing i mean espn would. I always tell people is working at a place like that was truly a dream job into even further than that for me. It was beyond what i could dream about. you know. i didn't ever think that i was going to make it to a place like espn. It was the mecca the worldwide leader. And i just thought maybe. If i can even have just a little bit of what that's like to be in broadcasting that will be great and i ended up there and work there for seventeen years and i loved every second of it It just got to a point. And i know we're going to talk about this as we got older as i got older and more into my life i i wanted to find some more purposeful work and you know god calls us into different directions in different stages and different roads to travel sometimes and for me that road three half years ago. Almost four years ago changed and i left. Espn to come come into the sports spectrum world that i've been doing now for awhile all right so we're gonna talk about that about the u. Leaving the circumstances of you leaving. Espn and getting heading down the road toward where you are now. Because i know it wasn't an immediate sort of thing so listeners. I want you to understand first of all. We are recording this. In december of two thousand twenty so we are still in the midst of the covid nineteen pandemic and all that sort of thing and that has had adverse effects on many businesses throughout the united states. And i don't wanna get into the whole politics behind it. That's not what this show is about. But it's impacted me and my businesses. So i completely understand that. It's had a huge impact on. Espn and they off. They've laid off many many people. Many of whom. I'm sure jason very good friends with and so your move was many years prior to this. So what what prompted all that to happen. Why make the change. Because if you're at the worldwide leader over three years ago and everything seems to be going well what could possibly make you want to make that. Change well interestingly. Enough in twenty fifteen was the first time yes never had any sort of significant layoffs and that wasn't at a bad time as far as the way the company was running financially. Sometimes i think you just make those cuts right. And they were forced to do that. And that was a lot of behind the scenes people that lost their jobs. And that's when i kinda thought. Oh my gosh that could easily be me Some of the people that were let go were there twenty thirty years and just legends and i realized wait a minute. These people are valuable people to this company in their god. Their jobs were eliminated. And so that kind of my is. But i wasn't thinking about leaving. It just made me think you know not everybody's safe and that could easily be me was around the same exact time that i started to think about. I guess i was forty one or forty two at the time. And i started thinking this what i wanna do the rest of my life working. Espn and i don't think if that answer was yes that i would have had any issues with that but i really in time of prayer and just talking to a few people i i started to feel this nudge. This tug whatever you wanna call it To kind of explore what. That might look like if i was to leave Because i'm i'm one of those guys that you know. I may be accused of this sometimes. But i think for the most part of a pretty rational guy who doesn't just jump on things moment they come to. You know the idea. The you know the opportunity. whatever. I'm not just jumping into it. I might get really excited. My wife will tell you like. Oh my gosh. let's go here. We go. Bill requires some thought and some prayer and some real genuine. I'm more of a plan guy. I like to lay out plans and see where it might take us and set goals and so late twenty fifteen. I have this opportunity to to talk to a few people who work in social media. Which is what. I was doing at that time but not for. Espn the people. I was talking to work for churches. Nonprofits faith-based organizations about fifty people. That i had the opportunity to talk to at this conference and I saw the work that they were doing. I was the only person there by the way that works for a quote unquote secular organization. And i was watching what they were doing and i was fascinated. Because it's the same stuff i was doing but i felt like it was being done for a greater purpose. You know for a more meaningful purpose. Because for me my faith i would say at that time it still is obviously the most important thing in my life and i just felt like that nudge is our saying. Maybe it was from god. I don't know if it was an audible voice. But i never heard inaudible voice but i felt like he was saying i wanted to do more for me remember. I'm god you're you're not in charge of of this world. I am. I want you to do more for me and i thought okay. I don't even know what that looks like. What let me just start pursuing what that might look like. I call it active patients right so you need to be patient. Sometimes when you're in this moment but you don't sit down and you just sit in your chair and your wait for whatever you're waiting for to stumble into your lap. No you have to be active in that moment and build relationships. Talk to people you know. Hone your skills all of that. And that's what i did through that in two thousand sixteen. That was also the last year i worked at. Espn the full year. And i was working on mike and mike. I had pivoted in february of two thousand sixteen into this new role. With mike and mike. So i'm really excited. Love my job love working on that show opportunities galore places to visit traveling like i'd never traveled at. Espn college football playoff final. Four super bowl world series nba finals. All of these amazing events. That i got to be a part of just in two thousand. Sixteen with mike and mike. So i'm having the time of my life. I'm loving my job. I really am but i still felt. This tug is nudge. Kind of in my spirit. So i spent twenty sixteen off time after. I finished working on mike and mike show. We got one o'clock or so. I would go home. And i would try to scheduled meetings. Try to schedule time. Phone calls with different people who were not in the world of sports people that i admired mentors authors even pastors and just ask them for twenty twenty five minutes of their time to two things came up in those conversations. The i was. I wanted to hear about their journey. A little bit their world taking them to where they got to you know what was the steps in the the kind of road map took them to where they were that at that point and the second thing is i wanted to tell them. This nudge in this tug. It was happening inside of me. I wanted to let them know and just see if they thought i was crazy because if they all said no you're nuts what are you trying to leave espn. I felt like that would be wise counsel to say maybe this isn't the right. Move even thinking about this but they all said listen. This is a really interesting time for you. Maybe this is what god is calling to but be patient. Keep praying and see where it leads. And that was invaluable for me to have that advice and counsel from people that i trusted and got to know and so i- patiently waited actively patiently waited and it continued to my job mike mike and then at the end of two thousand sixteen is when i got a call from a guy named steve stunts term. Who's my boss. Now he was working in is working with the ministry called pro athletes outreach and they said hey jason we we just purchased or acquired sports spectrum which is a sports in faith media company. I said i know it's sports. Spectrum is trust me and they said well we're really looking for somebody to come in and kind of build this brand up from the from the bottom even though it's been around for a long time we want to treat it as a start up even though it's not a startup. okay. I said okay. What's that look like. They said well. We want you to run. The website potentially write articles be the content creator but content. You know operator of all of what we're doing but we also want you to host or we want you to start a podcast. And i said i'm the odds really into the idea of podcast because audio is sort of one of my baby's love radio. I loved being in radio working in radio. So the idea of audio and podcasts. Because i'm a big podcast consumer enticing. But then he said you want we want you to host the podcast. And i thought okay. I haven't hosted anything since college. That's over twenty years ago. Are you sure you have the right person in john. I swear i told them. I said i don't think that this is for me. And they said no. No no no. Look at jason. You work with the best hosts in the business at. Espn you can do this. We believe you could do this. It's up to you if you believe he can do this or if you think. God's calling you to do this so spent the next couple of months really praying about it. I went out and visited the guys in december of twenty sixteen. So now that's four years ago and they offered me an opportunity. I went home to my wife prayed about it and eventually said yes and left. Espn in february of twenty seventeen. There's a lot that goes into that decision. But i'll stop there. And then if you wanna follow up we can go that listeners. I wanted to be sure to bring up. One point I don't not sure we mentioned this earlier. Jason talked about being at a conference and talking to people who were in the social media world but they were more faith based or profit nonprofit world sort of thing. But you need to understand. He was doing the same kinds of things with espn. And ed. You're at the height of what you were doing there. You were in charge of essentially social media that was bringing in two plus million people all the time like continuous regular basis. I mean it's a big deal. Yeah so in. Two thousand was when i stepped away from the job. I was doing it. Espn as a talent booker. And did that for nine years at talent producer and line producer and then went into this new social media world that espn social media and my passionate at the time and still a big passion is the nfl and they said hey we would love for you to kind of come and start the nfl social media division at espn. And i said well when you say division. What does that look like. And they said it looks like you. It's one person we need. We need somebody to start it. What do you think and again. That was an opportunity that i didn't even really dream about her pursue. It just came. Which was it's one of the few jobs that really just kinda came to me now. But i took that leap but i loved it. I mean i got to be a part of really Unique opportunity at espn and a a new medium a new forum and build up the social media like you said it got to about two million followers on twitter. I think it's more than that now. But it was about five million followers on facebook and about a million on instagram. When i when. I stepped down from the side and went to work on mike and mike so we spent. I spent four seasons on the nfl. Twenty twelve to two thousand fifteen It was amazing. I mean it was just awesome and getting to try these new media thing. Really kinda hone. The skills and learn about social media was pretty cool and sounds like it. So let's let's jump into your books for just a minute now. Two very very different kinds of books. Yes so let's talk a little bit about your first one. Live to forgive so tell us very briefly. What's it about. Lifted forgive is a story about a story of forgiveness my personal story of forgiveness in my relationship with my alcoholic father which was a broken relationship very confusing relationship for just about forty years so between that opportunity to tell that story but then to write a book that could also be an apple applicable book that you and i could read and actually be able to apply some of the principles about forgiveness that really come rooted from scripture that we can all implement and should implement into our lives. That was the goal with the book. So i wanted to tell my story and that was important because people told me. Hey you need to tell your story. But i also wanted to be a book that could be applied into people's lives because we all struggle with forgiveness. It's very difficult topic. I've had people tell me. I got your book but i just can't read it yet because struggling with forgiveness so i get it Or they've read it and they've only read parts because they haven't been able to go further because they again still struggling with it so we all have that issue with that burden of forgiving someone of being able to move forward when someone we love hurts us. That's why we wrote the book. Okay a couple. Quick points Especially for your listeners. Out there the first one is. Don't die with your stories inside you. yes far too. Many people do that. You've got a story to tell find a way to get that story. It might not be reading a book but it could be So let's do that The second one. Jason talked about forgiveness and the importance of it and i will tell you that as as a person of faith for many many years i only began to really understand what forgiveness was after my divorce and i had been a christ follower for gosh at that. I was forty when i got divorced. I'm fifty now. So i have been a christ follower for twenty six years at that point so i went twenty six years without really understanding. Forgiveness was on really deep level. And one of the things that i have discovered since then is when you've hurt someone else and you've been hurt very deeply and you begin the process of forgiveness. I it starts with you but when you do that your ability to be able to forgive other people for things that they do increases exponentially. I can't begin to tell you How easy is not even the right word. I'm not. I'm not doing it justice. I can't think of a better word right now but but how much easier it is now. If i get offended or hurt by somebody in some way very rarely do i hold onto that at all. It's like it is. Life is way too short to be holding these kinds of grudges over stupid stupid things and a mistake that somebody else made. Knowing it was it was not intentional. We're not trying to hurt me. But even if somebody was so what john i gotta tell you forgiveness i tell people this for me it led to freedom yes guinness led to freedom allowed because the misnomer in forgiveness world if you will down forgiveness it leads the freedom the misnomer in the world and from a world perspective. Is that unforgiveness if you will. Were forgiveness is justified. Because it's about the other person What they did so there's and they need to feel what we're feeling and they need to you know we need to show them how angry we are and get back at them revenge. I mean that's the society that we live in. It really is most people christians too for that matter. A lot of time. Don't disagree with that. Like do you see what that person did. They deserve to rot. They deserve to pay unless injustices important here. When a person commits a crime does something terrible and they should pay for it. But that's not for you and i to decide right. Forgiveness is not about the other person it's about ourselves we're the ones that are stock in the prison of shame anger bitterness this bondage these sort of change that wrap around us and keep us held down when we choose not to forgive but when we choose to forgive that's where the freedom is is is just there. It's like this way comes off you and you don't have to hold onto anyone else. You're not holding anyone hostage anymore There's a great quote by louis needs. He says to forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner is me. That's what it is when we when we don't forgive. We're the ones that are stuck in in this prison of anger and bitterness. Not the other person company. That's why it's so important to forgive. I really believe that because it truly does lead to freedom. Absolutely all right. Let's talk about your other book uniform. Leonard just came out so it it came out very recently and it ties in with a little bit of what this particular show is about. We do talk about relationships so we talked about revenue which is entrepreneurship and hiding very heavily with that is leadership and that is a big thing for me. I've i've been a fan of and i have studied leadership for over two decades. And so tell me more. Tell me more about the book. Tell me the why behind it. Well the idea of studying leadership is something. I've been really a fan of and just devouring over the past. I don't know six years maybe a decade or so. Ten years ago i think was the first real leadership book that i read. Now is just blown away by to book called on lead for god's sake by were and i'm reading it on an airplane going to dallas of all places to cover the super bowl and i read this book in two hours and i very rarely read especially at that point. I would say now. I read a lot more. But i read this book in two hours. I'm like this is fascinating and it's a fable so it tells a story about a coach who struggles with the idea of getting what he wants as a coach and they did this little. You know super nugget. That comes out of the book is that it was never about him. It was about others and how leadership is serving others and so it started this me on this journey of servant leadership for the next ten years and really reading a ton of books people like john. Maxwell simon cynic john gordon who. I'm you know who wrote the forward to this book and is a friend of mine and i just started really understanding what leadership was truly ship which is serving and the idea. When you write one book usually somebody comes and says. Hey you're gonna read a second book and that's what happened here. So i started to put the idea together of what a second book would look like and i kept coming back to my time it. Espn i had so many stories. So many different Interesting i think experiences that might find that people might find interesting for them to read and an engaging and entertaining or whatever you wanna say and with a lot of famous people and famous athletes. So i thought maybe i could read a story about some of my time with these. Famous athletes started. Put these ideas together and We were going to call it tales from the espn car wash. That was the initial mission of the book because the espn car wash is not a car a car wash of what the word is. It's actually what we call having a guest come to espn and spend the day at espn and go through the wringer if you will of espn car. Wash all different shows and that was part of my job for nine years. So i thought okay let maybe tales from the espn car. Wash would be fun. But then i realized we started writing this. I'm like i really don't want this to just be tales and stories which are important but again i wanted it to come back to something that people could apply into their lives. So it's a book that you're taking notes on that. You're underlining that you're giving to someone that you're going through with a team whether you're a pastor whether you're a coach or a teacher whoever you are you lead. A small team lead a big team this book. I wanted to be one where you could go through it with your team. And it's written that way with questions at the end and putting the uniform on and so the idea of the uniform of leadership came from taking the stories of my time at espn. but then what's the leadership lesson that i learned from each of these people And these lessons are really timeless lessons right there. They go all the way back to scripture again. Going back to the bible and looking at jesus who is the greatest leader that we've ever seen and then there's a there's a verse in matthew twenty twenty eight where jesus is talking and he says listen. I did not come to this earth to be served. I came to serve and give my life as a ransom for many and you can think about who jesus is whether you believe in him or not. He is a claims to be. I should say the savior of the world. The son of god. And so if that's who he is you would think it's okay if he came to this earth and said listen guy served me. I'm god i'm here now. You know kneel before if you will. I'm using the reference kneel before and he didn't do that he said. Listen i came to serve you. I came to give my life for you. And that's the essence of leadership is to serve and give your life for others and so that's really where this book centers around now and that's what putting on the uniform of leadership means every day we make a choice. We're going to wear this sort of uniform of leadership in our lives whether we're leading our family or we're at our job at church or wherever the uniform. Unfortunately for many of us we wear that uniform backwards and in most uniforms and sports. They have the name of the athlete on the back of the jersey and the name of the team on the front. We wake up every day. A lot of us including myself and we put that uniform on backwards and we have the name our names on the front of the jersey. Because it's about us. You heard what jesus said he said. Listen i came to serve you and so the name on the back of the jersey should remain there. It doesn't mean we throw ourselves out but it means we have to who we playing for every day. Are we playing for the playing for god or we playing for others or we playing for ourselves. I the uniform of leadership when you wear it properly. Is god first others second. And then ourselves third. Gotcha okay Listeners that fits right in with things that i've talked about on here many many times before. In fact i did an episode. Not all long ago. I referred to it as the time for leaders to rise so for those of you haven't heard that episode. That's a solo episode. I did a couple of weeks ago. check that one out because i i really share my heart about leadership and how important it is right now especially for what most would consider to be everyday people to rise up and become leaders because in case you don't know this leaders leadership has absolutely nothing to do with the title. That's exactly it has nothing to do. The title in fact the best leaders. I've ever met if you were to look at their place in life. No one would look at them and think that's that's high up on the The corporate ladder so to speak but there are people who are very effective when it comes to leading in fact the best leaders their best leading is not leading down. It's actually leading up. That's right very effective leaders do that. There's a lot of inefficiencies with leaders. I think not inefficiencies insecurities is the word. I was looking for jon with care. People who are leaders. Who feel like the if i serve someone below me quote unquote from the title perspective. Person might take my job. I've talked to quarterback so about this about this a lot in the nfl. You know if. You're the starting quarterback i'll give you an example so with detroit lions back the mid-2000s there was a guy named john. Kinna starting quarterback with lines. You might remember him in. John was the starting quarterback dan orlovsky. Who many might know now from. Espn was the backup. Quarterback and josh mccown was another quarterback who was in that room. So there's three quarterbacks. In john was the leader he was the starter and i asked dan orlovsky. One time on the show i do. I said how was john as a quarterback as a starting quarterback in as a mentor for you and he said he taught me everything. I know about the quarterback position but even more he taught me so much about what it means to be a man a man of god and to serve and i said and i asked john wants ahead him on the show too. I said jon helped me understand in the nfl as a starting quarterback nfl stands for not for long right. If you start throwing interceptions or even if you get hurt you might lose your job. So why would you impart your wisdom onto the guys behind you who are trying to take your job. And he was amazing he said listen. This is my purpose is to try and keep my job and be the best quarterback i can but if my purpose is just to be a good quarterback then what am i doing. My purpose is to serve and help others. And if i got two quarterbacks who are chopping at the bit not only to take my job but to learn from me. Then i have a responsibility to teach them and to share with them and to serve them and i thought wow what an amazing example i think of what leadership is all about how you and i like. You said everyday people can do that in our lives. Because we're scared a lot of us in our jobs especially are scared. Somebody behind us might take our jobs if we help them But that's not the case you know when we help them. We're actually helping ourselves to amex better leaders and people see that. No yeah so you might not get the accolades first of all ever but certainly not right away but it does come back folks. It does come back to you absolutely all right. So let's talk a little bit about relationships and relationship building. You didn't get as far as you did at. Espn without okay. Everybody no matter what your job is. There is a certain amount of nfl slimy to say it this way but everyone will understand. There's a little bit of schmoozing that you have to do. Must kinda have to do that. They're absolutely move saying really is relationship building headed in the wrong direction. More than anything so if we back it up a little bit where we did. It doesn't get slimy and feel weird where it's just about building relationships with people. It kind of goes back to what we just got through talking about. What you mentioned that. John kitten was doing with those two other guys that were behind him on the depth chart and he was investing in them. I mean yes. He was teaching them about what it meant to be a quarterback in the nfl but he was teaching them way more than that. He was teaching them about you. Know how do you live your life. How is it that you. How can you be a man in today's society. And i think many times when it comes to leadership that's what we have to do as leaders when it comes to building relationships with other people it's about. Let's take me out of the equation. If my focus is only on the other person then. I don't have to schmooze be good. People can see that it's about them. And that's what i care about and you can't you can't fake that you can't no you can't and i think you mentioned the word schmooze which is funny word. I hadn't heard that in a long time but it's the right word for a lot of people. Unfortunately i mean even me. I think back to two thousand and eight thousand eight years into my halfway through now that i look back my eighteen or seventeen year career. Espn and i was focused on becoming a producer at that point and this is just title. When i say that i was i was a producer. I was a talent producer. When i was trying to become producer. One which was the title and that meant line producer in running a show and it a status and a job profile that you would take up move up to the next level so i was so focused on that so i was schmoozing with those people who would hire me potentially to be producer. One and i was in their offices and they were telling me. Hey you're going to be a producer. One and training me and giving me opportunities to produce shows and i was so caught up in that and caught up on climbing the corporate ladder that the actual job that i had which was talent producer i was completely neglecting it completely. Neglecting there was four people who i worked with as a talent producer. Who were depending on me to do. My job and in many ways like i would depend on them to do their job and i was slacking. I didn't even see it. I was so blinded by the idea of climbing the corporate ladder. That i missed right in front of me the opportunity to serve my team because i was so focused on me. Yeah so schmoozing. Why why while. It wasn't bad per se. It took my focus off of others and put it on myself and the relationships that i started building when i started focusing on others and just serving them men everything changes and i went from schmoozing to just really serving. I guess and putting myself are taking myself out of the equation and putting others in place again doesn't mean i neglected myself but it just means that i wasn't so focused on me me me wasn't wearing that uniform of leadership backwards. I started to realize. Oh it's about others and unfortunately that moment where that breaking point for me was my two thousand eight review at espn. You get a year end review and you get a mid year review and it was in the middle of the year. I think it was may of two thousand eight that i got this mid year review and it was scathing. It was awful. It was jason. You're so focused on yourself jason. You're not doing the job that you've been hired to do jason wire you consistently thinking about this job that you don't have when you should be thinking about the job that you do. Have i mean it was. It was intense and it was in my face and i'd never got a review like that since and i never got a review like that before that moment so i didn't know what to do and i didn't expect it either. John i mean it was. There was no heads up before this review. That you were doing this. It was just read this and have your mind blown on. How much of a messy war right now and i took it hard. I really did so. I started asking like what can i do. What am i doing wrong. How can i get better. And it's so simple. I've completely missed it. You know for a couple years there. it was. Take yourself out of the equation here. Think about the team that you're here to serve and serve them. And that was it once i started doing that and really started focusing on others. That's when the blessings came which is really weird to say. It's not like i was. You know it's some prosperity gospel thing that you you give because you're expecting to get more. No i was giving in serving. Because that's where i got the most joy but through that the blessings came and then i got these opportunities to get promoted into to have these opportunities to leave. Espn but i wasn't looking for them. You know. I wasn't trying to climb the corporate ladder and schmooze with all of these people. I was just serving and then these opportunities came. Yeah i have found over the years many times that when i am trying to pursue those things i mean it's like the faucet just shuts off dries it can be and then when i take the focus completely off me and i don't care about the results for me that's right. You know. i care about results for other people. But when i don't care about my own results flood floodgates open just do is fantastic principle to live by. It's not that you don't even care about the results because you always wanna do good work and you always want to pursue excellence. That's kind of how i am and listen. Results are okay but enjoying the process and understanding that you know. Maybe the results won't be what you expect. But are you giving your best effort. Are you serving. are you doing this to serve. Not only god wants to serve others and to be focused on you know being available to others to to put them first then. The results will come. Whatever those results are. That's that's my definition of success is serving others and people look at success and say well you won five super bowls or you work at. Espn for seventeen years. And that's great. And i'm very thankful for that. I didn't win five super bowls by the way. That's that's an nfl player. Who might have done that. I did not free. Because i've never played in the nfl but that's what we view as success but really success is about. How did you impact someone else. Yes how did you impact someone else. That's success and if one person read my book and people were like well. That's a failure but that one person read a book in and become a better leader or learn to forgive someone who really hurt them. That success to me like. That's that's why. I wrote the book to impact one person and if it impacts million great i hope it does if it's one that's okay to love that love that so let's talk a little bit about home life because when you transitioned out of espn into whatever that new reality was at least in the early days. You were an entrepreneur essentially at that point because you were a w nine rights right. Yes i was back then so which is very different than w two. And if you if folks if you don't know the difference win w nine. And w we need to have an offline discussion. Because i don't even know how you got to listening to this particular podcast. Now that's i'm teasing by the way but anyhow so you were w nine at that. Point of there was no covert at that point. So what was life like in those early days in that transition. What was home lifelike. And how did that affect work life home life back at that. It's funny because you know. I w- again seventeen years at. Espn you built up a lot of equity. You're you're working for walt disney's company disney owns. Espn so you have all these benefits that come with working at a place like espn. When we're talking about free disney tickets for seventeen years. We're talking about all of the benefits. The 401k You know just the perks that work that come with working at a place like that. Those were all gone. That's why i tell people. I really wrestled with this decision. It wasn't an easy decision to walk away from all of that. You know a six figure job to not making six figures. When i when i left i took a forty percent. Pay cut to leave. Espn which didn't make any sense because it was my choice. It wasn't somebody else's choice. But i just felt like god was calling me to take this step and i didn't know what it w nine was. If i'm being completely honest. John i mean i wasn't one of those people that might be stumbling on your podcast. Oh yeah of course. I know what. I didn't know what the difference was. I really had to learn. All of this. What is the w nine. Because i was on a contract position You know it. Was you know i had to do my taxes. Four times a year quarterly taxes I had to get an accountant and help explain to me what this is. I had to really be more Specifically intentional about paying paying attention to my taxes and money i was making. Where was it going. It was an interesting time. Because i also left a place that was four thousand people on campus. And i was doing what i'm doing with you now sitting in my house in my spare bedroom which i created into an office and working from home and traveling a little bit here and there but initially there wasn't a lot of that either so it was different different time a different. It was a big adjustment just in terms of the work. The work itself was for me kind of the same. I hate to say it like that. I mean it was different but the same. It was in creation. It was editing it was booking guests doing interviews. You know a lot of the stuff that i've been around for so many years but now it was just me. I had a team of one not a team. I was working sports spectrum and still am and that's a team of about four so that work sports spectrum and fifteen or so that worked for the entire company. So it's not big right. But i was working in my house by myself on this on this project and there are a lot of people in this team that i just went to work with with spectrum. That didn't really know media lot. So i looked at as the guy who quote unquote has the answer is there was a lot going on there but then the home life so the home life my wife is home. She works from home as well for an insurance company so she and i are both home now all day long. She's down in the basement. I'm up in the spare bedroom so we cross paths a couple times a day but still at the same time. We're both home. And i tell you what that did allow me to do john. And i. I'm not ever going to regret. This was when i left. Espn my daughter would have been twelve years old. She's sixteen now and just she was about to turn thirteen. That's when she started getting into volleyball. She started getting really heavily into softball and extracurricular activities. My job right now gives me the flexibility to be able to go stopped because i control my hours control the work that i do need you still make sure i'm delivering on the work but i can stop down. Turn my laptop off at three o'clock and go get my kid from school or go. See her game and the last three years. I haven't missed any games. You know unless. I was traveling on the road speaking or something which is another thing that the door opened up after i left the espn these opportunities to travel around the country to speak colleges to speak at conferences to speak to businesses speak to churches and their congregations and share these stories. Unforgiveness these stories on leadership. Espn so all of a sudden demand speaker by any means. But i would say two thousand eighteen. I think i had about thirty speaking opportunities that i traveled around the country for so. That's a pretty good amount. That's comes month. And i had to manage that so the difference was instead of being. Espn for eight hours. In coming home. I was home when i was home and when i travelled obviously i traveled a little bit more but when i was home i told my wife listen. I might be gone for three or four days at a time. But when i'm home i'm here like i'm here with you guys. I'm president trying to understand that. We only have a few years left with our daughter before she goes to college. And i want to be here for that. And so that's the greatest blessing all of this. As much as i love my job and i really do love. My job is being able to be present in in my daughter's life at a time when she may not want me to write because she's at thirteen to sixteen year old teenage kid. But i think she'll look back and say dad was around and even though it wasn't a cool job that he was doing like he was at espn. Although i think my job is pretty cool now to she'll say listen he was around and he made those decisions at a pivotal point in my life. And i'm thankful that i had this man around at least that's what i hope. She says she may like that. I just wanted those free disney tickets. I wish you could a state. Espn but that was. That's the blessing i see. My life was that. I got to spend really in incredible amount of quality time with my family. And covert even heightened that even more months the pandemic it and just being home every day in quarantine. so that's the blessing. Gotcha all right. We'll before we get to our final four which is coming up very quickly We're gonna do two things first. How can folks find you. They went to connect with you. They want it by one or both of your books or anything like that. How can they do that. So social media is the easiest place for me but maybe my website is a great place to start. Jason romano dot com. It's my name is easy to find me. But i'm also pretty active on twitter instagram. I mean you and i connected through twitter. So they're my dm's in my direct messages are open so if you want to reach me if you have their question or you just want to get in touch twitter. Instagram is probably the two best places on social media. And my books are available on amazon and barnes and noble books. A million and all those places that you buy books but if you wanted like an autograph copy or a direct copy we can make that happen as well and you can just again contact me and we'll figure out a way to do that interesting that you mentioned that we got a little further into the discussion than i was planning on to mention this part. But if you've got this far listeners. That's a good thing so if you want an opportunity to get a signed copy of jason's book on me. This is what you need to do. You need to grab your phone. You need to take screenshot of this episode. You need to tag jason and me in it and when you do that the first person do that. It's going to get a signed copy of jason's book. I'll i'll connect jason with you and we'll make all that happen so i love it john. That's awesome thank you for doing that. This is great. Yeah no doubt. I'm happy to do that. So let's just jump into our final four quick questions the first thing that pops in your mind yup alright. So why god create jason. God created me to glorify him. Okay gotcha stray. Love it man. Okay so quick. I can go into details about that. That's that's all right and by the way that took me about forty three years to get but that's what it was. He created me to glorify. Okay all right question number two. What are you doing reading or listening to right now. That's helping you grow. Love this question. I'm consistently listening to podcasts. So that's doing analyst. ming. I listened to a lotta different shows so i couldn't. There was one recently. I think that kind of stood out. And i need to go back and listen to it again because it was while i was on a walk and i wasn't taking notes or being able to like you know retain a ton of information but it was a fascinating conversation with tim ferriss airy successful podcast and certainly does touches on leadership is not the only thing he hits on so many different topics. But there's a lot of leadership in some of the interviews that he does and he interviewed jerry. Seinfeld in seinfeld doesn't do a lot of podcasts. Because i listen to a lot of the podcasts especially a lot of the big ones and he's not one of those guys that are on every single podcast releases a book us an example barack obama right now. Who's you know obviously president. But if you just go around to the big shows whether it's jimmy fallon or ellen or the big podcast. The ones that are getting eight to ten million downloads. A month right. He's on all of them. He's been on all of them and i get it because he's promoting a book and it's a great opportunity for him to get on. All those seinfeld just wrote a book. He's not all those shows. He was jimmy fallon has to be biden's find him has to be by choice and he's really picky. I think or selective about who he's going to appear within the shows that he's going to do when he was on. Tim ferriss show so i was fascinated because it was seinfeld. You start listening and they both talk about the process. The process of writing the process of comedy the process of putting together a book the process of writing comedy writing jokes the process of life and lessons and even the process of fitness and staying in shape jerry's sixty five which i couldn't believe that he's sixty five years but he's now more into fitness than he ever was when he was thirty or forty so there was so much to it that i need to go back and listen as i tell you this job because it was a fascinating fascinating hour and fifteen minutes. I think interview that. I was again on my walk with about a week and a half two weeks ago and now the snow is underground. So there ain't no walking anymore. So i gotta go back and listen and take some notes because it was a fascinating conversation. All right question number three and this is kind of a two part question. What do you do for fun. What do i do for fun. There's a lot. I think i get a lot of joy out of small things i mean. I like doing things with my family. I like spending time with my family. I can't wait to to see my family over the holidays and spend time with them and see them and you know with covert. It's been hard to do with my extended family. There's two things that come to mind. So this is what is a ten year old again. But this is what i like to do. Youtube is very good for finding old clips of that. Were around when there were no. Vcr's are there was no internet. And i like like i told you. I'm a big dallas cowboys fan. So i've been recently because the the current form of the dallas cowboys are not a very good team. I will go back and watch like clips from like nineteen eighty two. Nfl games man. Just remember what it was like to be nine years old watching these games and thankful youtube has a ton of games on there. So that's something. I really get a lot of joy out of that. That's just me personally. So that's a lot of fun for me. Especially if i'm just killing time one of the things that my wife and i my daughter do that. We really enjoy every day. We bond over during dinnertime. I while we try to have dinner together especially now during kobe. Like there's no excuse so we're sitting down and we're having dinner together and we have this alexa device from amazon. That a lot of people have and so we just ask alexa every time at dinner. Can you play jeopardy and There's a jeopardy game on alexa and it plays a game of jeopardy. It has twelve questions you go through them and We like doing this because it keeps us engaged together but it's also challenging. You know they'll ask a question and then we have basically ten seconds to answer it so we'll look at each other and who has the answer and we can. We can stall and delay it a little bit but we'll go around and ask each other. Hey do you know this. You know this try not to cheat and we just try to answer the question as best we can and it's fun like it's only about ten minutes john but that time at dinner is something we've created this memory now for the last couple years That would sarah moves out. I know my wife. And i are going to miss that a little time together so we get a lot of joy out of that two awesome awesome all right and we'll wrap it up with our final question. What are you most grateful for. I am most grateful for the fact that i'm still alive. I guess able to be hopefully someone that can inspire and encourage people at forty seven years old. I'm grateful that god. I believe has blessed me in a way that i could never have imagined or directed this path. You know i could not have put this plan together. And it's taken me to where i am and this is not where i would have ended up if it were my plan. I just know that So i'm really truly grateful to god for his blessings in for who he is and what he's done for me in my life awesome awesome. Jason thank you very much for taking some time to be with us today to share a little bit about you and about your story about the books you've written the life you've led Quite inspiring my friend. And i just keep doing what you're doing. You can't wait to find out when the next book comes out because it'll be very interesting to see what that one's about down putting it out there now john. That's a lot of pressure. I don't want to write a third book. I didn't want to write a first or second book. Honest but the the pattern. I'm open to it here. That's what the lord wants. Let's go man. Let's go let's see. Thanks for having me. i really appreciate it. You bet listeners. Thank you very much for tuning in today. and we'll talk to you guys next combat reminded. Thanks for listening to relationships in revenue. I'd love to get your thoughts on the show. Two ways you can do that are to give us a rating review and or connect with me on social media. You can find me at john. Human thanks again for listening and remember passion get you started purpose. Keeps you going have a great day and we'll see you next time bye.

espn Espn jason mike Jason romano nfl john Jason John hewlett bay packers danny white dallas dan orlovsky cowboys tony dorsett Roger staubach John allen emmy award football super bowl
The Beautiful Struggle to Forgive

Focus On the Family Daily Broadcast

26:43 min | 1 year ago

The Beautiful Struggle to Forgive

"Watch your favorite focus on the family broadcasts on Youtube. Subscribe to our Channel at focus on the family dot com slash youtube and get your daily dose of family. Strengthening encouragement subscribe and watched today at focus on the family dot com slash youtube. Just told him verbally told him that. Julie I forgive. Forgive you and I'm sorry for what you're going through now. Two things happened. There wasn't an immediate forgiveness. It's all done. I exuded the forgive process process but I realized at that moment that the forgiveness wasn't for my dad even though I had to tell him it was for me. That's it's Jason Romano Talking About Forgetting His Alcoholic Dad and you'll hear more of his story today on focus on the family. Your host is focused president and author Jim Daly Ellie and I'm John Fuller. Okay John. I have a challenge for the listeners. Today think of that person who has hurt you deeply. I mean to the point where maybe you even haven't forgiven them yet. might be a parent a sibling. A friend former spouse maybe a work colleague. Now ask yourself this. Have I truly extended forgiveness. Because that's on your side of the equation. Has Nothing really to do with them. The one who offended you forgiveness is complex and we get that. It doesn't excuse Abusir a harmful behavior of course but forgiving. Someone does mean that you'll let go of bitterness and leave revenge I would say judgment up to God Someone once said forgiveness is surrendering my right to hurt you for hurting me and I think that's a powerful way to sum it up John for us as Christians Showing mercy to those who have harmed us can be one of the most beautiful ways to display. God's amazing grace to hurting world. That's the testimony of us as believers levers and our guest. Today is a wonderful example of just that I would agree. Jim And as I said Jason Romano is our guest. He's an Emmy Award winning a sports journalist a former ESPN producer husband and dad and has a book that we are offering today. Live to forgive moving forward when windows. We love hurt us. We've got copies of that at the website. You can look for details in the episode notes. Jason Welcome to focus on the family guys. It's great to be here. Thanks so much for having. Yeah well I WANNA say good job and being a wonderful husband and father but then I wanna talk to you about being a sports journalist to most of the order. I appreciate the way I need to thank you so it's pretty fun to work at. ESPN yeah only cow. It was a dream job. It really was in many ways and I got to work there for almost seventeen years. I did production mostly behind the scenes but got to spend time with some of my heroes got to meet and become friends with some of my heroes that I grew up with the person who the forward to the book is. Is Darrell Strawberry. Who is my sports hero? He's been on the broadcast. He's a great guy and he was my hero jerseys and kept his stats and Hasselbald. I just baseball cards and suddenly I'm spending a day with him. ESPN so yeah. It was an amazing amazing opportunity. Let me ask you this off the wall questions. I mean when it comes to us as believers and and we are in a sports saturated environment. I love sports too. I played in high school playing baseball football basketball. How do we as believers? How do we peel back a little bit? So so it doesn't become an idol. You know it's so hard. I think this is so hard and you're talking to a guy who sports was my God for so many years. Even after I I became a Christian I became a Christian at twenty six twenty seven. I had to Kinda learn in a slow way. That sports really isn't that important to the grand scheme of life but you know. Sports is such connection Jason especially between fathers and sons and this was really your story and it was hard for you. You had a pretty positive view of your dad until one night. I think you're at a football game or a baseball game What happened? And I'm telling Ellen Yeah I so relate to your story because I think we had the same father but he hit it it's probably Fortunately common with a lot of people who are listening my dad. You Know My earliest memories of my dad. My parents got divorced when I was six. So I really didn't have a a ton of memories of mom and dad being in the same house. I haven't really no memories of that so it was always kind of like spend the weekend with dad and spend the week during the week with Mom but my Dad Love Sport Love Sports and loves sports and I mean he just I. That's all we still talk about to this day. And so my memories of him are pretty much all revolved around sports. Good and unfortunately bad and and I write about adverse chapter in the book. I take you to Nineteen eighty-four and it's my first time ever going to an NFL game. It's the eagles and the giants. My Dad is a good one die. I hard giants Fan. And we all get in the car me and my two brothers and my dad and my step mom patty and we'd take the drive from Albany New York down down to Philadelphia and when you go to a game. I remember arriving and seeing this stadium and walking in and just seeing this giant one hundred hundred yard football field and thinking. Oh my Gosh I'm here. This is amazing A ten year old kid. That's just the greatest thing ever right. Eleven year old kid and as quickly clea as excited as I was to the game of star and so just really be laid with joy at turned sour really quickly because my dad who had been and drinking at that time and he was still on his early to mid thirties He's getting his drink San and getting his beer anymore sitting in the seven hundred level with these Rabbit Eagles fans and he's a giants fan and probably halfway through the game. I just remember my dad suddenly getting into this verbal sparring and lots of bad words words being said and I thought this is not right so I'm confused here what's happening. Why is this happening and my dad was unfortunately really intoxicated and then we had to drive home and it was the scariest four or five hour drive? I've ever remember as he did because he was drunk. He was drunk. Jason One thing. I caught in the book that really Captured my attention because a little boy. You Stop Calling Your Dad Dad and started referring to him as Joe his first name but it's connected to this disappointment appointment explain. Why did that? In what protection was it providing little Jason. Yeah it was weird because there were times what I call on Dad and there were times when I call him Joe and I figured looking back. It's funny you remember things as you start to write a book and all these memories come back Aquino things. I hadn't thought about dryers and I was working with my co author Steve Copeland and we were talking and working through it. And I'm like I think I called him Joe More than I call him dad growing up and then we're starting to expand on it and I realized a lot of the Times that I was calling him. Joe Is the Times that he had been drunk or hung the things that would embarrass me. And I'm like that's not my dad. That's just that's Joe. It's not my dad. My Dad is the guy who sober and supportive and loving which I didn't get a lot of and so I found myself calling him Joe a lot more than now I just resonated with that again having similar father. I never did that but I could understand the relief of doing that. This is not the guy I love. It wasn't because especially being so young. You're confused it wasn't till I was in my teenage years till I really started to see this man. I had a problem. Something really was wrong and off when I was eleven ten and younger it was more confusing than it. Was this normal. Everybody does my mind's not able to process that on a mature level teenagers. But you know I even took that with me. As I'm writing the book there were moments where I call him. Dad Even into my thirties and early forties. He's and there were moments when I write about him as Joe even writing the book so it was still Kinda resonating connected with that now. Forty five years old. Where was God in this picture for you? I mean I mean obviously I don't think your dad maybe your stepmom or your mom had real commitments of faith but did you sense. Did you have a kind of a child like belief that there must began a god or i. I grew up in a Catholic household but to be quite honest with you. I'd never heard or understood. Salvation Jesus faith the Cross grace. None of that. I really had no religious anything in my life. GROWNUP evolve for you then that that knowledge that awareness Nisus not until I was twenty six years old. It was my brother. Chris My middle brother. Who is the first family to be saved into beginning true relationship with Jesus Christ but after a few years in watching him live out this faith truly live it out not just everyday hammer it home? I'm to me but watching how he loved his wife how he loved his newborn child how he loved his family. It was different and it was attractive and it wasn't until two thousand one mother's Day One. He introduced me to Christ. And that's how the journey began. Yeah you have a story and this is really again. It caught my attention. You have a story where your feelings feelings of hatred so maybe it started with embarrassment. I mean I can relate again being embarrassed with your dad at that literally game which bears wrong and slurring and talking to the trump and he I know is thinking he's helping you while you're at bat but you WanNa just crawl into a hole because you're so embarrassed absolutely but then you talk about about a day that you can remember that embarrassment turned into hatred for your father described that hatred is is such a you know I think of the word hate now Alan I and I I hate the word. Hate is just such a hard thing to think about. But it's real it's very real and as my dad got older. And there's a lot of moments where I discovered hatred for my father if you want to call it that You know him calling me in college in asking me for money to college when I was in college. Remember I don't have money. I'm in college. No College student has money. And he's calling me and saying hey I'm behind on this or that and I need to borrow are a few dollars and completely wasted. When he's calling and then he calls and sort of the first time I ever heard him say that he wanted to end his life? When I was in college and I was so angry and bitter at him and at twenty years old not empathetic and wanting to help him? I was just stopped at him so mad. I can't I hate my dad but then a moment comes when I'm in my twenty four twenty five year old stage when he calls up and this is how bad it got for my dad and he's he's drunk and he calls me and he tells me that his wife Patti had had died in a fire. And we'd love Patty. She was step mom and so close. We hadn't seen her in a few years and so we're all very sad and he's crying thing in two or three days later. Maybe a week later he calls and he tells me he made up the whole story. Oh my goodness he made up the whole story and I said why would you do that. And he said listen I I don't know I saw him so sorry. It was just shows you the fact that he was so in such a bad place at this point this is one thousand nine hundred ninety seven or eight that he had to lie to try and get people to feel sorry for him and then he had to come and tell us what happened that he was lying about this whole thing and that it was a moment when I come up the phone I said to my wife I said I can't believe this guy really hate him. How can he lie about the death of his second wife and there were more stories like this unfortunately but it was a a pure hatred for this guy that I had to work through myself and this is pre Christ for me so I had to figure out what that meant to innocence hate? My Dad. Jason You have really set the table and I think the listeners fully grasp that emotion inside of view that hatred that had developed for your dad and some are connecting with you saying yeah. That was my dad to whatever their situation that that overwhelming sensitive I just wish this person was not in my life because it's so destructive. Yeah but then you begin to turn the corner you start to is in in your book you say you started to feel which was the first step to forgiveness? Help the person that hasn't put those two together. What would it mean to help? Help begin to feel I think at that point You know I call it feeling. The pain is what we're trying to do. acknowledging that there's pain you you know a lot of us when we're angry at some when we try to just suppress it or Put a big wall in front of an pretend. It's not there and for me. That's what I did for many years. I mean I I talk about when I went away to college. I looked at that sort of a boundary for me to get away from my dad. You know get away from all the garbage and crap that I was you know living through having him be close to me and around me in my life. When I started to feel the pain I think it was probably around the time when I had gotten back from college and I just met my now wife dawn and I'm having somebody to talk to and I also went and got some counseling early on? I didn't go through counselling as I got older. My counseling. Yeah I guess was was with the Lord and with you know my pastor and people like that but I went to a counselor before I became a Christian. I remember just bawling my eyes out in thinking. Why am I crying right now over this? Yeah I shouldn't be this man. I can't stand this guy. Why am I crying? And it's because I knew that I still cared about him five. There's grief it was almost like a person who would cry when somebody passes it was grief and it allowed me to begin the process of feeling and understanding thing that okay I have pain. It's not it doesn't feel good but it's there let's acknowledge it and not try to like push it away and ignore it because so many of us do that and and for me. That was really the first step in moving forward when I realized it eventually I had to come to a place to forgive him. Yeah and you mentioned Chinda Meeting Dawn. What amazing stabiliser? A spouse can't be that other perspective and you know I'm a big believer in Christian in relationship. That your spouse complete shoe. Yeah so you're blind spots. They often will be able to see things differently from how you see them. Oh she didn't and and be able to bring some reality right so true and my my wife You know we got married. We weren't neither of us were Christians got married in the Catholic Church but again didn't really have a faith or care about religion or God or anything like that but we had each other and even our motto at our wedding was to become one and so we we didn't even realize is when we were getting married that we were sort of living out the marriage and of Biblical sense the idea of to becoming one person which is which is right from the Bible but having that I am coup came from a very strong mom and dad together still together to this day relationship married over fifty years and have been together and and not knowing what it was like to be around such broken in that realm and so she comes into my life and I write about this in the book that I was almost scared to bring her into my crazy family. You know darasing ago my goodness they'll look over here don. Yeah don't worry about that. I just you and me. Don't worry about my crazy. Yeah Dad and all the guards going on and I remember the moment when she first saw the effect that my dad had my life and it was right before we were getting married and inviting my dad to my wedding. He had missed all of those big moments in my life. When I graduated from High School graduated from College? He missed him oh he was. He was in Rehab or Hawas Awas binge mode or whatever and just not doing well and he missed all of those what. I call pillar moments in a young person's life so I had no father to attend these things and celebrate with me and so at my wedding. I really wanted to have him there. It's like listen. He's missed everything else. Let's bring my dad to our wedding. My wife was great. She's like whatever you think is best you know. Oh Your Dad I'm all for we invite my dad and then like five days before week before I get a call and he's wasted drunk and I found out that he had been on a binge for five or or six days of drinking and I had to Uninvite my dad to the wedding. Say One thing you was hoping he could be there and my wife again was so great on supporting but I knew that this is her day. Even though it's our day this is her day said to be the perfect day November of nineteen ninety nine and so we uninvited. My Dad ad in dawn was greatly great and supportive but there was a void there. Yeah everything is a perfect day is one of my favorite days in my life but there was a void. Yeah let's talk about the twelve steps of forgiveness that you really go after in the book and we only have time to cover a couple of them but let's hit a couple that that really are important and then folks you need to get a copy of the book and we'll post those if we can't we'll post the twelve at the website so people can see that but What what are some of those important things in that twelve steps of forgiveness which so many steps I break the book down into feeling the pain evaluating trauma Alma transforming the wound and living to forgive. And I think it's the transforming. The wound was not necessarily in part of the twelve steps. If you will that that but I think that's a big one because when we get a hold of coup got it and understanding forgiveness that we ask for every single day right we come to God and we say Lord forgive me for the things. I've said that the things I've done things I've thought and then we turnaround in exude forgiveness to others literally putting a hand to God and saying I got this. I don't need you. I think that was exactly his point with the woman caught caught in adultery. Right yes that was the xactly point hand to the face and so I think one of those steps if you want to call it a step is to understand what God's odds forgiveness is about he exudes it to us for free. All we gotTA DO is ask. It's undeserving do nothing to earn it and it's there every day over everything that we've ever done that he forgives us. And so it's like the old prayer. I learned when I was in a Catholic boy. You know the our father The Lord's prayer forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. It's literally Jesus words telling us. This is what we need to do every we day. It's not easy because that pain is real and we've been hurt but the step the process the the move of understanding God in His forgiveness is about and then trying to do that to others looking at people with an empathetic heart looking at people in different ways not through our lens but through Gods Lens I think that's one of the big steps to go forth with is just understanding forgiveness aspect of Christ is in this kind of ties into the whole thing. How how you did that with your father? Yeah which is the right place to land. How did that happen for you with your dad? It was a process as I like to. I tell people forgiveness continues to be a process even after you sort of start that process but my dad was in a really bad place about six years ago or so so his alcoholism and drinking continued but he was compounding that with depression and he had a lot of mental illness things. What's going on in his life at that time and when you put alcohol and mental illness or depression together it's a recipe for disaster ways right and so my dad is really in a bad state in the middle of two thousand thirteen and I get a call one day in June of two thousand thirteen from a nurse at a hospital in Albany? New York. ORC telling me that my dad had tried to end his life that he got to the point where he just didn't WanNa live anymore and he took a bunch of pills and and try to end it but I guess he got really scared because he immediately called nine one one after he took those pills and the ambulance came took him to the hospital in and saved him. But I get this call from this nurse and just to give you an idea. This is only six years ago. How bitter I still was about my dad when I got the call from the nurse that He was in the hospital. For this reason. There was no empathy on my part. Yeah I just said really. I'm so sorry to hear that And she's like well. If you WANNA come and visit you know you can't. I said no I said thank you very much. I think I'm okay. That's a wounded person. Oh my gosh I was so I was so I was wounded and I had no empathy for this. I had no sorrow. I had no to be honest. I had no love in that way. but over a week's period and I remember going to a small group. Pastor was leading at Pastor Joe and I said to him ironically the same name as my dad and I said I I said I'm not really knowing what to feel right now and honestly before this I had pleaded and asked and told a lot of people about my dad's situation and asking for for prayer but I couldn't. It's like I always thought God can forgive you to Joe but I can't right you know that's how I looked at it in over the process of about a week I started talking to my pastor and he just said you need to read what Jesus talks about with forgiveness and how it doesn't matter what that person's persons done it's about it's about you and you got a lot of wounds right now and literally a week later I get on the phone with my dad and I talked to him at the hospital and he's broken in empty and lifeless in just sounds horrible. Unlike any time I've ever talked to him in the past and he's telling me at that point he still doesn't. I WANNA live. I don't even know what I'm doing here and I remember just at that moment. My heart opened and I had empathy for the first time in my life for this man and I just told him verbally told him that. Julie I forgive you and I'm sorry for what you're going through now. Two things happen. There wasn't an immediate idiot forgiveness it's all done exuded the forgiveness process. It was process but I realized at that moment that the forgiveness wasn't for my dad even though I had to tell him it was for me I was the one that was stuck in bondage. I was the one that had these sort of change on me. Keeping me down in the clear evidence of that was when I got the call the he was in the hospital. I had no no feeling at all. Yeah there was. I wasn't I wasn't going to jump in the car and go visit my dad and help him love him. Be there for him like most people would like my wife calls me right now and says you know if somebody calls me and tells wasted in the hospital for whatever reason jumping into car right away but that's a terribly wounded person. That which I did with my dad as well. It's like totally get it. It's hard but I finally to the point where I told him that and then it began the process S. of forgiveness understanding Jesus and understanding that if I'm going to call myself a Christian here and walk around and put this on social media media and eventually like write books and things like that then I need to be able to forget. I can't hold grudges. Yeah I can't and this includes the most hurt wounds that I've ever experienced with my dad. I cannot hold a grudge there and so it was a process but at the point where I finally came to forgiving him. You know it was in six months a year before really started to see you know situation with my dad starts come back and focus now the irony of this whole story. Is that from that day that my dad went into the hospital. He hasn't had a drink since. That's that's incredible six and a half years now and his sober and it's it's clear miracle from God now my my dad does not have the sort of relationship that I would hope that he would have with with. Jesus I think he believes in God but he's very still struggles with that world a little bit. Pray for him we do. I tell people if you WANNA do anything for my dad. He sober now but he still needs to prayer prayer because he's not ready to fully some of his life to the Lord but he cannot deny that there is a miracle has taken place Jason. That's one of the sensitive things I want to mention here and highlight for the listener. Who may not have a deep or even a relationship with Jesus? This is exactly the profound nature of God and his character for you to be able to make that turn for you to feel empathy. That in my mind is the spirit of God. These are the things that come from him. Those are the characteristics of God in us as human human beings that have his divine nature so we can over complicate this it has to be a bolt of lightning notes. That moment when you feel. There's someone that you've hated. Hate it all those years. That's the spirit of God Jason. It's been so good. I hope you the listener have a better understanding of that if you've got that bitterness eating being away you get a copy of Jason's book in if you can afford to help focus on the family with the gift of any amount and we'll send it our way of saying. Thank if you cannot afford it in your in a tough spot call us anyway. We'll send it to you trusting that others will take care of that expense. It's so important it from our perspective that you have a tool in your hand to help you get through this area of bitterness. It's key to growing in your relationship with Christ Christ so do it. Don't hold back. Don't be embarrassed we've been at it for forty over forty years we've heard I think we've heard it all you never want to say that but You know what we'll be able to talk with you call our counselors and let us share the love of God with you and our number's eight hundred. The letter A. and the word family or look in the episode notes for further details. Well as we closed today let me just think of listener commented on Apple. PODCASTS has the the user name and interesting one quick fan nine nine nine This person said thank you for this awesome resource. There have been many times while I listen that I think what about and then just as I think that one of the hosts asked that very question that was on my mind. I tell everyone I can about this. podcast thank you are we we so appreciate that kind of feedback and we encourage you to leave a note. share your opinions about what we're doing here through these podcasts. On behalf of gym daily really in the entire team. Thanks for listening today. Make sure you subscribe in join us next time as we once again help you. And your family thrive incorrect.

Jason Pastor Joe Jesus Joe More Jason Romano High School Julie John Fuller patty Youtube giants football Emmy Award Jim And ESPN Abusir baseball Chris My Jason Welcome
012: Jason Romano - Former ESPN Producer, Speaker, Author, Sports Spectrum Podcast Host

The Rise Up Show

57:13 min | 1 year ago

012: Jason Romano - Former ESPN Producer, Speaker, Author, Sports Spectrum Podcast Host

"Welcome to the show were together. We will rise up and face arm careers dream big and we will hear from Pressel athletes entrepreneurs and today's top thought leaders. Prepare to be motivated and encouraged to live life. God designed for you. Let's Risa a low rise up squad today. You're in for a treat today. We have Jason Romano on the show. Jason was a producer at ESPN and for seventeen years he's created and produced content. I shows such as sportscenter Monday night. Football Mike and Mike in the morning Sunday. NFL Countdown College. Game Day Major League Baseball All Star game And many more He's he's a great talent talent. Now Jason is over at the sports spectrum. podcast he is the host for that show. So he's he moved into the sports ministry period It's just a great conversation with Jason. You know how you talk to someone and you feel like you've known them for for quite some time. That's that's how I hello Jason Just felt like I was just talking to a friend It's really good guy talks about his journey with ESPN Talks about his faith breath. And just What his definition of success is an much more so tune in guys in for a great show? Well welcome Jason Ramana. Thank you so much for being on the show today. Thanks for having me gave appreciate you asking me absolutely so starting out. When are you who Tell the listeners. A little bit more about yourself. There's a lot there I'll try to give you the cliff notes. Version the short version by I M husband a Dad I I was a kid that grew up in upstate. New York Albany New York area and Dreamed about being an athlete Love Sports And was able to get you know going into college and going into broadcasting which is really Was a passion of mine is a passion of mine and able to kind of turn that into into a twenty plus year career in broadcasting and radio and television social media digital media Seventeen years of those were at. ESPN ESPN I live here in Bristol. Connecticut Still Although I left. ESPN almost three years ago. February of two thousand seventeen and and I currently a An author I've written I've written one book and I'm close to being finished with the second book. It's come out next year in the Spring and twenty twenty and I also host a show called sports spectrum which is a show where I interview athletes and other people in the world of sports and intersect that with the world of faith and so yeah. That's kind of me. That's awesome so tell the audience something that not many the people would know would know about me. Okay well this is kind of a weird one. I was born deaf in my right ear I have about eighty or ninety percent hearing loss in my right ear which is usually surprises people because of the profession that I chose to go into Considering when you have full hearing I guess but I've kind of lived with it and been around it my whole life so I've grown to be used to it But that I don't talk about that much that's one thing. A A lot of people really don't know why that would come up other than somebody asking me. Are you other than that. That's probably one of the things that But not a lot of people know about me. Yeah wow and you you overcome nat in. Obviously you've been very successful in your in your world and that's that's pretty amazing. Thanks man. Yeah it's been it's been a fun journey It's been a place. The last thirty years really twenty five years that. I didn't think I'd ever end up or go certainly You know dream about having a job when you get out of college and something that you love to do but he. SPN which has really been a large part of my life in a real nice catalyst. For where my I guess the second half of my life is going That wasn't even on the radar growing up. That was you know I love the ESPN. Yeah but I didn't even dream about working there because I didn't think I could ever attain a dream like that feel felt like far beyond what I could ever do. I would've been completely content with working. I don't know at the local. TV Station in Albany New York and maybe someday being on air you know doing the three minutes sports three minutes sports in the newscast and that would have been an amazing opportunity for me but I was fortunate and very blessed to be able to do the stuff that I've gotten to do but even more be able to do it now for a greater So yeah that's awesome so. ESPN that to me. That's like a dream job like I love sports as well and it's just like you know growing up. It's what you do you watch. ESPN if you're in a sports how how did you land that GIG It's a great question. I I tell people I wish I had you know three things that I did specifically to to land the job at ESPN right lists and things like that. That you see in blogs and on social media but honestly it was an old fashioned way it was. I applied online saw job. This is one thousand nine hundred ninety eight so I go back a long time and I applied for the job that was available at ESPN. It was a radio producer job and they called me. You know old school right. They called me. I came out to Bristol interviewed for the job. I did not get it the first time in one thousand nine hundred eighty eight But it got me face to face with some of the people who were the movers and shakers in the hiring people at ESPN and so two two years later in the spring of two of two thousand. Wow it's a long time ago It was the same job that opened back. Cup on the Internet and You know the Internet was have been around for four or five years and there were job sites and things like that and I just kind of was searching through it and found it and applied again got a call again had more experience now because I had worked in local radio During this time for three years in New York in upstate New York so when they call me I came out I interviewed you. Know met four or five different bosses and went through a fairly you know Lengthy interview process process about four or five hours with different people. Drove all the way out to bristow which is about two hours from my house down in Albany and they called me back and they said you know Hey we we like you thinking about hiring you were down to you. Know we have one position and we're down to two people and you're one of them and I tell this story a lot. Aw when I when I go and speak because I don't know if that's a good thing to hear a bad thing to hear because you know that you're down to the final two but you know there's a chance you might not get the job and you know there's like a legit fifty fifty shot here and I guess for me. I was probably more happy than I was nervous. Sir freaked out because you know I had made it to the final two for a job at ESPN Ra. So that kind of told me something that maybe I can get to this job that I never even thought about Getting to and the story goes that and they don't do this much. ESPN anymore but they liked myself and the other candidate enough that they created a a second job and offered us both job to work there. And I remember I remember telling my wife. I'm taking this job no matter what amount of money they offer coming because this is ESPN and she says slower rollback POW. We just got married about six months earlier and it needed to fit into what we were trying to do and move. Oh you know moving on and moving up into the world and beginning our life together as as a married couple and they offered the pretty much right on the nose what my wife and I had talked talked about hoping that they would offer and off. We went to Connecticut. And that's how I got the job I again. There's nothing special I didn't you know. Put Specific Vic things on my resume or know someone which honestly about ninety percent of the people I would guess that have job. SPN maybe a little less maybe like eighty but that's you know four or five people that work at ESPN. I would bet about eighty percent of them got their job because they knew someone not because of his skill set if they had. Yeah and I'm one of the other twenty when I look back at my career because I knew nobody other than going out in ninety eight and then coming back in two thousand two interview with the same. Ain't people so I guess I kind of knew someone but honestly it was just a good old fashioned apply online and get a call and I tell kids though all the time now college kids. Listen listen. It doesn't it doesn't always work like that. You know you just apply for a job and wait for a call. You have to be so persistent today because everybody's I'm trying to go after the same job. You are social. Media has opened up an amazing opportunity to connect with hundreds of thousands of different people in the business and build relationships. Before you ever ask for anything he just WANNA meet them learn from them grow in in in a friendship with them. Whatever and so? It's different for it today than it was twenty years ago. Yeah yeah definitely is yes persistence and I think just trying to do something to stand out as Yeah today again. I didn't really do that though other than just applying for the same job and they happen to remember me from two years earlier and I had a little more experience I had a couple of years experience experience under my belt male but you know yeah I mean I've done hiring. ESPN and other places. And I tell people listen to be persistent You don't want to be a pain in the butt obviously sleet but you wanna come across as humble as willing to serve and as an looking to not take but give somehow as even when in Europe you know trying to get into the business or into any business or field that you're interested in you know the key is to really come across as wanting to serve and wanting to help and wanting to learn as opposed to wanting to take wanting to get a job in something that you know is making a certain amount of money. Yeah I tell people. Don't worry about the money the money will come. Obviously money matters and you have to be able to pay bills but frank the money. The money will come if you if you are passionate about what you WANNA do. And and your persisted. And you're a good worker. You know my one of my favorite Bible verses is doing with all of your heart. Whatever you're doing as though for the Lord no not for man so as long as you're giving one hundred percent in what you're doing and you're doing the best you can and you're doing it to serve God? I really believe things fall into place properly. Yup Absolutely am in so you were at espn for seventeen years now. So why. Why leave? Why leave that dream job? Yeah I mean I asked that question myself when I first started thinking about it why in the world are you thinking about leaving honestly I it it. It's A. It was a two year process. And I you know I have been there fifteen years and at the fifteen year mark you get this from from. Espn you get this actually they give you the five year mark the ten year Mark Fifteen year market at the twenty year mark. They kind of honor you for your anniversary for working for the Disney Company. Walt Disney any company which owns ESPN and at the five year. Mark you get a little pin has goofy on it and it says five on it and it's just a little recognition at the ten year. Did you get a plaque. And it says. Welcome you know Congratulations on ten years of service. You know with The Walt Disney Company which actually have sitting on my mantle and fifteen year. Timeframe you get an actual like Mickey Mouse trophy. It's a really nice thing it says. Congratulations on fifteen years of service. You know with The Walt Disney Company and I got that trophy and I looked at it. I remember thinking okay. Am I gonNa Make It to twenty here and I remember people telling me at the twenty year anniversary they take you down and puts you up at the Waldorf Astoria in New York City. And a you take you to a real nice dinner and you know kind of really honor you for twenty years of service at at the Walt Disney Company and I said I don't know if I'm going to make it to twenty years and this would have been what two thousand fifteen Summer of two thousand fifteen was was right around that time that I got invited to speak at a conference in Nashville and the conference was a social media conference. which is the work I was doing at at the time at? ESPN and I was the only person at this conference speaking or in attendance that did not work work for a faith based organization so it was a Christian conference. They knew about my faith. I think from social media and other places and invited me to come but I was the only there that was working for a quote unquote secular company a big company like ESPN. Everybody else. There was working for Church a nonprofit some kind of faith eight based organization but these people were awesome and I spoke at I shared my you know Story a little bit about ESPN and how we did social media ESPN the end. And then I just sat there and attended the rest of the conference and had a notebook and you know fellowship and got to meet a bunch of people become friends with a lot of people that I'm still friends with today for years later but I remember clearly thinking. Wait a minute Jason. There are people doing the exact same job you're doing but they're doing it for God and it really intrigued me. Made me think is the work that I'm doing it. ESPN obviously it was a great job. It was a dream job But is that work purposeful. You know. At the time I was forty one years old and you know I was kind of getting to that sort of halfway point if you will not only of life but of thinking about my career. What's left what's next and I had? I had a really great career there and I made good money now. You know when I walked away in February of two thousand seventeen it was a six figure job. You know just to give you an idea so it was a good job. I had great benefits invested a lot of time. 401K was good. You know all of that but my work wasn't purposeful in my is now. It doesn't I mean I I couldn't be purposeful in doing the work that I was doing. Espn but I felt like God was saying to me that I didn't hear an audible voice. I just felt it in my heart that he was saying. I want you to do more for me. That's all I that's all. I could hear all I could think about was I. I want to do more for God with the towns with the with the gifts that I've been giving with the experiences that I've had and so that began a process that took about a year and a half almost two years of figuring out what that purpose in what that doing more for God look like in my life and over the next year ear. I began developing relationships. And this was intentionally. I just reached out and said let me talk to some of these people who are working in the faith based World World Ministry World Churches Pastors Authors. Because I was beginning to think about writing a book as well and I spent twenty sixteen building relationships relationships with people leaders mostly in the faith world. But some that weren't as well and just kind of tell them what was kind of stern in in my spirit in an opportunity came in the fall of two thousand sixteen three years ago where a sports ministry called pro athletes outreach each which has been around for a long time and they minister the Gospel basically to professional athletes. So right away that you know. The light right bulb went on like that. Sounds amazing because I love the Lord and I'm passionate about my faith and I'm obviously passionate about sports and when I had done and they at that time I am just purchased sports spectrum which had been around for thirty plus years and they were a sports In Faith Media Company magazine a website and they had just purchased this media company and called me and said hey we just got sports spectrum and you would be perfect to help us build the sports media ministry with us. What do you think? And as we got talking and there's a lot of underlying conversations and things that were going on to get this thing thing actually to a place where I could say yes to it. But the real caveat for me I guess in all this was the podcast idea which they told me. Hey we we WANNA start a podcast an interview driven show and we want you to host it and I told them I haven't hosted anything. In twenty years. I literally in college was his last time. I had hosted anything I was a producer at ESPN. I was behind the scenes. They said we know we know that you know how to interview. We know you've been. I'm doing a little speaking which had just started in twenty sixty and doing a little bit of speaking and even preaching at my church so I had some public speaking experience that was beneficial to be quite honest at doing a show like this and so again through all the kind of conversations with my wife praying about it I believe the Lord is leading me to say yes to this and it was a forty percent pay cut. There was no benefits. It did not make sense financially it didn't make sense Career wise. It didn't make sense. You know it was leaving something. That was very comfortable at ESPN. But I knew it was the right call. And that's kind of the reason why because of what I just said because it was uncomfortable because it wasn't about the money because of an opportunity to really tell purposeful fistful faith driven stories through the Lens of Sports. which to be honest with you? Gabe does not exist really out there. There isn't any the real big media companies that will tell these stories properly as I like to say and keep the name of Christ in the conversation and so I said yes sprayed about it and my wife agreed which is key and then we said yes and that was it and we and I walked away from. ESPN still live here in Connecticut My My company sports spectrum is based in Colorado and I go out once a month to visit them for a few days but I work from home and I have zero regrets. Scott has been faithful. Awful I haven't had to worry about where my next meal or or bill getting paid is coming from an opportunities have opened doors have opened that I could never have imagined in taking this leap of faith. Yeah that's awesome and that is a big step of faith but I think when we take those steps of faith and we we know God is in it. I think you know God's going to bless it you know he's GonNa yeah he he's not GonNa let us fail. He wants us to succeed. So I agree and and just one thing to interject real quick what I've learned now because I've seen people say God is calling me here. God is calling me there whether it's to another church or to a job. I felt this in two thousand fifteen but I didn't leave until twenty seventeen and it's because I think God wants us to pursue him at all costs to two and he'll come he'll he'll confirm this for you if he wants the door shut shut and for a while. I thought the door was shutting but I still kept feeling that spirit in me saying this is what you're supposed to do though and so I just opened up doors pursued and one set should built relationships in pursuit him. Once those doors opened I realized realized. Okay now it's launch time you know and I think that's going to be my word in twenty twentieth launch because I really feel like Launching is sort of literally taking that giant step forward of faith in all of our lives and everything we do but there really needs to be determined. I believe seeking wise. Counsel is a big one. And it's got to be done properly biblically think 'cause a Lotta times we go on feelings and feelings are fleeting. And they're dangerous Chris in in anything that we do and you know and they go up and down. That's why people leave jobs. It seems like every year because I'm feeling call to this job and then they go to it and I'm feeling I'm called this job. And then they go to it. It's never satisfying so. That's I started interject there but I just believe. Leave that something that I really learned in. This process was not to trust my feelings but to really just fully seek God in prayer and talk to people who who are who are in your inner circle of people and let them be honest with you about whether this is a good idea or not and listen to them now absolutely. Yeah like the the Bible says seek first the Kingdom of God and shall be added unto you and then like like you said so many people do offer their feelings and they're kind of you know wishy washy and it's like well are you. Are you really going to God and prayer you being patient. I've done that myself. It's like oh I don't know maybe that wasn't got. Maybe I just wanted that myself so absolutely and I think sometimes when we talk about that verse Matthew Six thirty three seek first the Kingdom of God and all these other the things will be added to you. You know if you read the context of that verse you know Jesus and saying you know seek me I I will give you everything you want it. It says seek first the Kingdom of God and all these other things will be added to you what Jesus is saying. I'll take care of you right. Let's say like if you seek me I I promise you I. We'll take care of you. You will not be in need. It's not like seek me I and I promise you you'll get the giant house in the corvette that you want. That's not what the Lord is saying saying here and I think that's important to remember not only for the people listening to this podcast but just in general that God wants us to seek him I in all we do and he'll take care of it. It doesn't mean what taking care of it is is exactly what we think it should be. You know I thought I should've been gone in two thousand fifteen from ESPN. If I'm going on my feelings but God took care of it because I was trying to the best I can. I certainly failed many times trying to seek him first and all that I did and I knew that he would take care of it. That's all I didn't know what that meant but I just knew the take care of it. Yeah absolutely so going back to the sports spectrum. podcast I kinda Niks. I'm sure you had Quite a few connections from ESPN which probably allowed you to get some of your guests chore. Yeah who was your most memorable guest my most memorable gas twelve. We have a couple. I tell people all the time. The guests that that stand stand out to me are not the big names now. Our our numbers You know if you look at our stats and you look at our podcast. Numbers in liquid form was the most downloaded podcast. We Eh. It's people like Tony. Dungee and Benjamin Watson and Matthew Hasselbeck people like that Darrell strawberry those. Those names aims are big names. That have a lot more downloads than some of the other names. But the ones that are memorable to me are people who you've never heard of who have a story right and I'll find out about these stories usually through social media or reading a story in on the web or an article or something but those Sir my favorites that sort of get to know you stories than the the big names like this week. We're taping an interview or we already taped it. We're GONNA air it with. Mario Davis from the saints tomorrow is becoming rapidly becoming a big name in the NFL One of the more philanthropic guys is it. You'll be wanting to do good wanting to serve in the community loves the Lord he's on the Saints Saints are really good right now and he's playing really good football. That'll do pretty well. My guess is if If people find out about the interview but then you know I have interviews with other people that you haven't heard of the people who are like assistant coaches on division two basketball teams or recently we had a a a mom on who lost her son to cancer But there was a connection election unique connection there because she was a woman of Faith and because her dad was a coach in her father in law was a coach at Michigan and end coach football there and so the intersection of sports. Faith doesn't always need to be a ton of sports. It could just be a little connection of sports but the faith ass back. ACT The story aspect. Those are the ones that stand out to me and Whenever we can get one of those They're my favorites. Because they're the ones that most people listening can relate to. We've all been through tragedy on some level. We've all had to walk through you know Valley's at shadows of death as they you say in difficult times and difficult seasons and what is trusting. God look like through that and when we can get to the core of the heart of those type of you've stories that's when the connections happen that's when I get most excited because that's where God to me. Does his best work now. Football players can have have those stories as well because they're human beings and in baseball players to and hockey players and basketball players at all these athletes that we've interviewed on the show. But when you get somebody buddy you haven't heard of but you connect with. That's when to me that's like the everyday story and that the ones that I really enjoy most absolutely and those are going to help other people Whether they know them or not so correct. Yeah exactly great so you wrote a book Libro. You've written two books books. One soon one of them is called live to forgive. Could you tell me a little bit till the audience a little bit about about that. Yeah so when I was in this process of thinking about leaving. ESPN two thousand sixteen And by the way I didn't mention this earlier but it was probably in my favorite year of working at. ESPN was the year that I thought I was leaving because I got to work on Mike and Mike in the morning and be part of a really great show on a great team of people that was awesome but somewhere along the lines in summer of Twenty Sixteen I got a phone call from buddy you know in that process of networking and meeting meeting different people in the faith world and his name is Caleb Calton back he is a former pastor. He is an author as well and he wrote an amazing book called Messy Grace and Kayla. I had connected on social media and I just said Hey Mandy have like twenty minutes on the phone and we can talk and it was early summer of twenty sixteen and I was telling him kind of some of the things that I was thinking about with leaving. ESPN and just praying. That God would open up a door and show me what to do and then he asked me what else is on. My heart was a weird question and I said I really don't know I said the story of my dad has been one that I've been sharing a lot. You know lately with different people whether it's speaking or even just talking like you and I are talking gave and and it was one of those things where I share the story with Caleb and he looked very I didn't look at me but he he heard any said you gotta you gotTa write a book here Buddy and I laughed at him loudly in the parking lot at ESPN. I said I have zero interest in writing a book. Caleb there's no way this how don't even know how to write a book and I'm not a good writer I just no. I'm not I said I'm going to okay the writer but I'm not a book writer to me. If you write a book you need to be great at writing. And I've learned that that's not always the case when I look back now but you need to okay great and that was my thought and he said no man your story forgiving your father for all the things that he had done to you. Growing up with an Alcoholic Dad You know the the real difficult moments difficult times like that story that people can relate to and people need to hear and so oh after we hung up the phone he connected me with the literary agent and I just talked to this guy and that began the process of moving Forward with this book live to forgive and the book is about It's a it's an. It's about seventy percent narrative thirty percent application in the book. Is The story the narrative side of my journey through life with an alcoholic father that was verbally abusive that ruined his his own. Life and in many ways ruined the life of his family in separation with with his three boys myself and my two brothers Couple of divorced a couple of broken marriages and divorces Ruined relationships with his own family with his own parents with his own The cousins and uncles and aunts like lots of bad things losing his job so he had a really tough difficult life and after becoming make a Christian in two thousand one. I started to try and learn about forgiveness but I really didn't know what that meant in my own life. I thought yeah. Forgiveness is beautiful thing until I actually have to kind of put it into Practice for myself and I couldn't do it. I couldn't forgive my dad for the pain he had caused me. And my brothers and eventually time came in twenty thirteen where my dad was at his lowest point and I was able to kind of eventually forgive him and tell him that that I have forgiven him and begin a process of forgiveness so I learn learn about learned about forgiveness quite a bit over those three or four years there and And that's where the book idea came from and we put a proposal together and A publisher named core media out of Charlotte North Carolina. Got A hold of. It picked it up pretty quickly. I had a CO author named Stephen Copeland who helped me write the book and Like I said he's a great writer so it was it was wonderful to have him as a quote unquote great writer helping me. Tell the story and The book released in January very of two thousand eighteen In the process of this began in September of two thousand sixteen so it really moved quickly. Mace that. It might not sound like that's a quick amount of time I am but it really is in the book World Book books usually take two to three years so to write to put together to edit to to have it go from the beginning of your audion concept to the time when you're actually holding a book in your hand and we did this in a year and a half and everything moves so quickly in the process of writing this book and editing I had had left. ESPN so that was happening as well. And so a lot of things were going on at the same time But this book has has been a Labor of love and one that I didn't ever think I would do or want to do But it's helping people and and quite honestly that's why I wrote it. That's why my dad blessed it and said he wants this book to be written because is it could help people and so far I believe it has absolutely and I was actually able to read the first chapter when your website and I saw that I chapter is available for free yes it is like to encourage listeners to go onto Jason Romano Dot Com. That's it yeah and and we just we just updated the website. It's brand new. Probably less than a month old the website in its We put the first chapter up there and even has a picture of the new book. Look as well And a cover there so yeah. We're excited for what what's happening with that. Yeah that's awesome so yeah to the listeners. Go on there and read the first chapter and then then Pickup checkup Jason's book it's It's a really great read. Just the first chapter I read Often pick it up myself for sure. Thank you yeah. It's a it's been again something. I never thought I would be doing not that. I never thought I'd be doing a podcast with with you or anyone else but it's something I never thought I'd be doing to talk about a book that I wrote. And and that's the last thing I ever thought it'd be doing. And now we're getting ready to launch book number two in the Spring of twenty twenty and I never would've I thought I'd be a two-time author that's insane so it's crazy that's so awesome to see how how God working in your life and put new directions. You never never thought you would be. That's it's pretty neat to see how God works in our lives. I appreciate that Gabe. Thanks man so this is the second book uniform of Leadership. So I'm a I love leadership. I'm kind of an entrepreneur type. I love this stuff and a lot of our audience is the same way. They're either a leader at their workplace or they're not for newer. You were so that I'm excited about this. One me to get you tell us a little bit about the uniform of leadership. Yeah so the uniform of leadership ship Like I said it's coming out in spring of Twenty Twenty We're still in the editing process of it but for the most part the manuscripts don it's been submitted a little peek behind the curtain of books. When you work with publisher you submit a manuscript and then they harvard like a you know? I don't know like a Thanksgiving Turkey. And they go through it and Sunday like a fine tooth comb. They're running right through the whole thing and trying to to try to make it the best that they can do because they have an investment in this book as well and so it's in that process process literally as you and I are talking right. Now is editing process but the covers out And that's something that they put together. The title is obviously out the uniform of leadership. And we're we're wrapping this thing up pretty soon here. I would imagine by the end of the year. We're really going to be looking at okay. What's the exact release date which I think is going to be at the end of April But that's not one hundred percent locked in but the book is about so we've talked about. ESPN I really wanted to Kinda share stories of my time. Positive stories certainly not negative one of my time working at ESPN. So what did that look like. What were some of the need experiences appearances that I got to have and I had a lot of them? I was really fortunate. I worked as a talent booker for ten years at. ESPN of the seventeen. I was there so when you work with talent. You're working in essence. What that means is your booking all the guests for the shows and I got to spend time with huge named people in in the world of sports and entertainment and a big name? People people that you would know like drew brees and people like Tony Dungee Dale earnhardt junior and the Rock and will ferrell and just crazy names that I was very fortunate to spend on days with at ESPN so i. The idea of the book came from a bit of a leadership. Buff myself and guys like John. Gordon John. Maxwell people like that have been a very big Encouragement to me with the books that Britain and I realized that in these seventeen years that I spent at ESPN. There were so many leadership lessons. That I had taken away from my time there. Based upon people I worked with stories of days as that I had spent with different people so I wanted to kind of take that and write stories of my experiences. ESPN so kind of takes you inside what it was like like to work there. But then what's the lesson that I learned leadership lesson from watching these people so for example. Tony Dungy there's a it's really. I think it's the first this chapter in the book or Second Chapter in the book. It's called bloom where you're planted and it's a story about how I learned a great lesson from Tony. Dungy that as a believer whereas a person of faith that wherever God had brought me to that right there I was to honor him with what I was doing. And we're always caught up looking at the the other side. The grass is greener. You know the next job as I mentioned earlier in the podcast. Tony Dungy just said. Listen until you know you're called away maybe got plea Lee into ministry someday which she has But this is back in two thousand ten when he told me listen. You're here for a purpose so bloom where you're planted. Be here be purposeful here and so that's just one small lesson But a very big for me but one lesson that I talk about in this book and this is written in a way where I I think it's going to help Certainly church leaders and people like that in the faith world but it's written for everyone so it's going to help entrepreneurs it's going to help parents on how to lead their kids. It's going to help coaches how to lead their teams. It's going to help players and how to lead their teammates. You know because you can be a leader wherever ever you are. You don't have to be in charge to be a leader and I really am excited about this book that I think it's going to be an opportunity to talk to different audiences that I had with the first book which is sort of Niche book on forgiveness again. We all struggle with forgiveness and It's been a wonderful year and a half now. Ought to be able to talk about this book to people but to be able to dive into different audiences. Now I think even more into the sports world with stories from. Espn Dan in leadership lessons. I think that this is going to be something. It's first of all. I'm really excited about but I really think it's going to help a lot of people as they continue to grow in their own leadership so so absolutely. So what's the best leadership advice you could give to our listeners. I'm stealing my friend. John Gordon's a Book the Carpenter here which is one of my favorite leadership books and I highly recommend people read it very quick read But in this book that it's the simple the concept of loving and serving others and to me the best leaders and I write about this in my own book to uniform of leadership the the best leaders love the people that they work with even if they drive him nuts but they love him which is honestly that's biblical because God causes is to love him and love others to serve you know and the greatest example of serving happens to be the greatest person who ever walked the face of this earth. Jesus is Christ who came and said listen. I'm I'm the son of God and I'm not gonNA hide that and if you believe in me put your faith and trust in me. Whoever believes in Michel not perish but have eternal the life but he also say the son of man came not to be served but to serve right and Jesus saying that I mean he's got right in human flesh so if he came Amen Desert and said I expect you all to serve me? Nobody would blink it. I like of course your God. We'll serve you but he said No. I came to serve not not to be served and to give my life as a ransom for many. So when you think about that to me. That's the example of leadership. He's the perfect example of serving of leadership and the greatest leader of our time saying that he came to serve. And so when you think about that that can be applied into any job. You don't even have to believe in Jesus to not look at that example and say yep that's the example and so that's really my my my personal greatest leadership ship trade is to simply serve. It really is right and I think when you do that when you serve others and when they truly see when you're leader the the people that you're leading see that you really care about them that's only gonNa make them want to do better themselves. Maybe work harder and to just give give it their all when they feel that they're valued as well absolutely. Yeah when you serve. It creates a culture of love. Crazy culture of connection creates a culture of togetherness otherness. And it's contagious. So if you're serving everybody else wants to serve suddenly you have a group of selfless people that are coming together for a common the purpose of common goal and I don't care if it's a church a sports team a business wherever it is when you can get. That team rallied around each other to help others and to serve others and be south less not looking at yourself lesser but to thinking of yourself last by literally putting others first man man things happen really great things happen. And that's that's really what I've learned and what I've seen what I hope this book. Will you know even more highlight so. Yeah absolutely well. We're into the ninth inning. Now and I mean I could I would like to just sit here and talk with the all day but obviously we you got something to do absolutely then awesome So I have the ninth inning questions. What's your definition or you don't have to define it but what does success this to you? I love this question because I asked this question to every guest but to a lot of guests on the show that I do on sports spectrum I'll ask them what's your definition of success and To me success is I WANNA speak I as a believer. Because that's what I am a Christian and I believe success is obedience to God. That's what I believe. And that's from a faith perspective so if if you have people listening who are believers I would say I would take that down. I'm not to success is is not based on the amount. The money you make. It's not based upon your job status or title it's it's based on your identity On your purpose on serving serving loving like we mentioned earlier on relationships to me you know it's I hear a lot about joy and happiness. Happiness is temporary very but joy is is deeper than that. It's it's long it's longevity it's it's connected in the heart right. It's it's joy is something something deeper and I think success equivalents joy. A lot of times where your circumstances might change but the joy is still there back and joy for a greater purpose joy for the lower joy joy for serving in loving others. Like to me when you look at success. It's easy to say this. This person did this or accomplish this. I mean we do it in sports every day. You know. I'm talking to you at night after I saw a Monday night. Football game and the success voice. How many yards the quarterback through four or how many rush rushing yards the running back had or the win? You know people might stick successes equivalent to wins wins but to me. Success is is about the lessons that you learn growing from them in really connecting with others. Like that's what it is when when I look back at my life Yeah there might be stories about espn and all these other things that I was able to sort of do but to me if I have no friends at my funeral general and I have nobody who who could say one nice thing about me that I honored God or do did my best to love him and love others that I missed. I missed completely even though I think I made the shot completely missed it because success to me is about relationships connecting in in loving others absolutely. That's good good. Yes I will say. Success is not a it's not a final destination is just an on an ongoing process and working on yourself and Like you said loving and serving others. That's real good and I liked that obey been obedient to God. I like that a lot in the Christians is people who listening are believers in Christ success is not even accomplishment. Success is obedience to got. It really is if you're in his will and your obeying His calling on your life and where he's you know calling you to your seeking him. You're developing a relationship with him. Just what you said seek first the Kingdom of God add all these other things will be added on to you the success in seeking absolutely so. What's your favorite book favorite book you know the carpenter. I mentioned earlier from John. Gordon is probably my favorite book as far as leadership as far as connecting to me Eh. there's another book called Leed for God's sake and It's written by guidance. Todd Gone Guar was written. Maybe twenty thirteen or so. It's a fable a leadership book but in a written in sort of fable story form guy. But it's fantastic and I still referenced. For instance book. I referenced it in my new book because it has impacted me in so many ways again it comes down to that servant leadership model that we've talked about quite a bit in the last ten minutes or so but it's a really really good book on leadership. I don't know there's so many books that I've I I. It wasn't a reader Gabe for the first thirty five years of my life. And what I mean by that is I read a few books here and there but I can't get enough books now. The Guy Behind me. My in my office here is bookshelf. That asked my wife to get me because I have so many books that I've wanted to read There's so many books on that shelf that I haven't read yet. I just started Malcolm. Gladwin book talking with strangers which came out a couple months ago and I love glad well. He's his stuff is so good and I WANNA learn how to have more empathy towards people. I don't agree with their no. And so I'm I'm reading that book and I'm trying to read as many books as I can on that type of subject because we're in a very divided Divisive World Right. Now where or if you don't agree with me or you don't look like me or you don't act like me then you're wrong and I'm right and at such a dangerous terrible place to be right and by opinion and we need to be able to cultivate these relationships and build relationships with people. We don't agree with people. We don't Sideways if you will in terms of faith beliefs or whatever we just need to be friends with with more people that aren't like us Because it helps us develop empathy and compassion passion towards others that we desperately need in this society. So I really didn't answer your question. I hope it did with the book but I'm reading talking with Strangers Rangers Bhai Malcolm Global Right now and it's fantastic so I'm at the check that went out. 'cause yeah like you said it's it's you don't have to agree with everybody but we were still called to love them and to be that light. So that's that's really good absolutely and by the way live to forgive is a pretty good book too. I hear so that that one too. This is great. Yeah I should have started with that right. How does an author not name his own book trying to name other books live again? I'm not check that own up also so said the last one What's your favorite Bible? Verse or quote you can pick one. Can I give you. You can all right so I'll give you a Bible verse in a quote so the Bible verse. It's my life verse. It's in proverbs. Three five and six proverbs chapter three versus five and six. And it simply says trust in the Lord with all of your heart and Lena on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Jim and he will make your path straight. So there's two levels to that verse trusting in the Lord with all of your heart and leaning on your own understanding so God wants us to trust him mm-hmm he wants us to trust him fully with everything we got and not lean on what we think we're supposed to do that. Goes back to the feelings thing Kalina on your own understanding and the second part is I guess what I would say that the launch part the walk part in all your ways acknowledge him him. That means God's with me wherever I go. He's with me. Whatever I'm doing I used to think? ESPN was separate for my faith that that was just my job but proverbs autumn's three six says in all your ways acknowledge him so that means take take the Lord with you wherever you go in the last part which I love which I've seen fully fully develop in my life is he will make your path straight now. The Path from a human perspective often is anything but straight but in God's eyes that straight path is his plan for us. We never really know that until we look back so that verse is a big one for me and then I quote real quick. Is I've been saying this quote a lot it's from CS Lewis and He says it's about forgiveness. I think and he said forgiveness is a everybody agrees. That forgiveness is a beautiful idea until we have to practice it and that is the idea of not just from forgiveness forgiveness perspective but from a life life perspective that we look at other people's stories journeys lives lived and we say that's wonderful. That's awesome but what I actually have to implement that and do the work myself. That's when the hard part begins and so if you're looking at somebody's journey to a job and you see that and you're like you know what I could do that I would love to do that. Looks like a beautiful thing and I have to practice it and put in the work and put in everything to get to where you're trying to get to. That's where the weeds are pulled from the people people just aren't cut out for that And in from a forgiveness perspective you know we all agree. That forgiveness is awesome when we see other people forgiving when we hear stories as a forgiveness but when we have to implement that in our own lives you know often that's where it gets really messy muddy because people will say but you don't know what I've been through but you don't know the hurt that this person has caused me and it's a hard thing to practice and implement things that we know are good and and and right and from afar seem really good and perfect and implementing. Those things can be really really difficult so I love that quote. It's been what I've been saying different speaking engagements for probably the last two years and it's one that sticks out to me. Yeah that's really good and I'm actually a teaching a marriage class right now on Sunday mornings in our Bible Study Glasson Lot of times what I'll say is we all see these perfect marriages in Phnom kind of sidetracking. But let's see these marriages in there so great and I I want that marriage and I tell them the class I say well it takes work. You know we can't just wish a good marriage or good relationship with their kids or whatever it is it everything we do it takes work it takes sacrifice and you know we. We have to put in the effort. Does yeah it's hard. It's very very hard and it takes work and you're only going to get what you get out what you put into it. You know you reap what you so. That's all right and you really if you're going going to try and do great things and accomplish things and even in your relationship with God like if you if you don't you're going to get out put in right. God doesn't go anywhere. We're the ones that drift in. Everybody thinks where did you go. God still there were the ones that went and drifted. But we're GONNA get out our relationship but we put into it you know and if there if we're not putting a lot into our relationship relationship with God and how can we expect him to really Respond in crazy crazy ways in in even deeper ways with us if we're not putting that effort in an on our side again it's not about effort in terms of getting to heaven in my opinion it's about grace and got his done but you know relationship is a two ways talking about a relationship with God a relationship with people. It doesn't just work. It's not a one way street relationships just not. That's when really it's in marriages. Two new marriages are one way streets. You'RE GONNA YOU'RE GONNA eventually hit a dead end in. That's when bad things happen. Yeah absolutely fully agree with everything you said for sure well. So what's the best way for the audience to connect with you probably social media or my website so you mentioned my website earlier earlier. Gabe it's it's simply my name. Jason Romano Dot Com and you can hit the contact button on there and if you write something it comes directly to me. There's nobody else. Let's reading or looking at it so you can reach me that way and you can also tweet at me or go to instagram. My DM's or are open. You can reach out to me whenever however you'd like I am. I'm pretty much at ninety. Nine percent response success rate and. That's not to Brag. That's just because I believe in responding to people when they reach out to you so so yes if they see or hear want to reach out for any reason in fact that's how you and I connected. He reached out. I responded and that's that's kind of how I try to do things things You know I don't believe in on just too busy. Sorry you're everybody's busy so when somebody takes time to reach out to you at least reach back out and acknowledged that they reached out to you. We can't always help. But you can at least be courteous. Yeah that's Great Yes oh to the listeners. Yet reach out and say hi to Jason for sure Well before we say goodbye if you could give the audience just in a few sentences Some parting words of advice parting words of advice Well I already gave my Bible verse which is often the advice I give which is seek first the Kingdom of God or trust in the Lord with all of your heart and all your ways acknowledge knowledgeable direct your path. I think I would I would say is the best advice that I could give to. People is to is to passionately. Love Kevin Serve others and I know this is kind of repeating everything that I've said But it's sort of ties. It back up in a bow is to passionately love and serve others. Love Love God and love others but to serve others to look at ways that you can make an impact small or big you know. I believe if you see a homeless person in your heart automatically gets pardoned in like That person's probably GONNA go buy a bunch of cigarettes or whatever Searched at heart a little bit and look at that person who might be standing out there. Because he's in a bad spot and have empathy. Empathy is is the game changer. I believe in life right now. Maybe that's the best advice is Seek others and look at others with an empathetic heart. Because we're all going through something that everyone else can't see you know and You know anxiety and depression are sort of. I don't WANNA call buzzwords. Put there there. There is something that's really come to the forefront a lot lately for a lot of people and and Unfortunately a lot of people up you know going down at dark path and not being able to come back and I believe if we could have empathy towards others. It would be such a giant game changer whether it's leadership in in politics in Washington whether it's in church leadership whether it's in businesses having empathy and seeing others from their perspective. What they might be going through when we do that I believe it opens up opportunities to really? We love others in a way that we couldn't otherwise so seek people with an empathetic car. That's what I believe that's amazing. That's great advice. Well Jason. We've come the end at Spin. Truly a blessing talking with you and I really appreciate you coming on the show. You're welcome gave. This has been great. Thanks for asking me really appreciate you. That'd be a thank you guys so much for joining today I really appreciate you just being a part of the Raisa tried. I'm so excited for this. Show we. We have many more amazing episodes coming up with amazing. People that will be interviewing I really do appreciate you taking the time out of your day to listen in. I would be a huge blessing to me if you could give the show a rate and review Subscribe if you haven't already And it'll really help the listeners. Know if it's right fit for them by doing that you can find the show notes at Gabe Stevens dot com that has stevens with the P. H.. Also if you'd like to check out some of our rise up where peril you can go to. Rough wear dot com R. U. P. W. E. A. R. DOT COM and. Remember to take a screen shot of this episode. And make sure to tag me Also slide into my. DM's send me a message. Tell me what you thought about the show how it helped you AM feel feel free to share with your friends. It could be a huge blessing to them as well. I would love to connect with all of my listeners so again go to my website you can find where you can connect with me on all social media. Thank you guys so much and God bless.

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Live to Forgive: Moving Forward When Those We Love Hurt Us  Jason Romano

A New Direction

1:07:17 hr | 10 months ago

Live to Forgive: Moving Forward When Those We Love Hurt Us Jason Romano

"You Say the game is good. Monday morning in Confidence Code? Live is nine one. Hello everyone and welcome to new direction. My name is Jay is and Oh. My Gosh, we have a great show. I am telling you what today is one of those life changing shows that if I don't care who you are all right. This is a this is a life changer. This isn't just a game changer. This is the changer of your life. It is a show I don't care who you are. I have friends somewhere out there. Many of you who have had parents who've been alcoholics. Some of you are a recovering alcoholic some of you. Are Alcoholics some of you have been abused by the abuser. Some of you have been verbally abused. Physically abused listen various things called just alcohol abuse spiritual abuse. There is so many abuses out there and you know what. I would be doing a disservice to everybody out there. If I don't do this show and I'm going to tell you something Jason. Romano. Yes, that Jason Reminded E. S. P.. N., former producer, Jason, Romano, Monday night football game night. Oh, come on, yeah! He's joining us today. Today and I'm GonNa tell you something. He's going to blow your mind with your story. It's absolutely fantastic. You'RE GONNA love it and it. The book is called live to forgive moving forward when those we love her us man. What a great great book I've Read it several times I've shared it with people. It is absolutely phenomenal, and here's what we're going to do. You know what we're going to do what we do every week. Right and you know what that is right every week. Before we get to Jason. I walk you through the four years of your life and last week I talked about you. How are you training? In four areas of your life? We are four part people. We are physical people. We are mental people. We're emotional people and we're spiritual people. and. We're only as good as our training is. That's it right. If you you know, we talk about physical training and I'm and I'm a guy who loves to physically train, but here's the deal. You've got to be mentally training every day. You've got to be emotionally training every day and you've got to be spiritually training every single day because if you're in the middle of battle, if you're in the middle of the heat, if you're in the middle of stress, if you are in the middle of heated stress where you getting pounded on, you're only as good as your training. That's it. So I'm going to ask you all out there. On a scale of one to ten one being I training stinks to ten. My training is unbelievable. How are you doing physically on that skill point to? Listen there's a lot of excuses we make, but we all have to take one hundred percent responsibility for who you are. Right the fact of the matter is just because the gym's aren't open doesn't mean that you can't train. It doesn't mean that you can't work out. It doesn't mean that you can't eat right. It doesn't mean that you can't drink enough water. It doesn't mean that you can't get enough sleep. It doesn't mean that you can't do all the things that you need to do. Take care of your body. Right, so unskilled went to ten. How are you doing in your training? And then I want to ask you this. What can you do right now to change it? Because you can't, you can't wait. When you're in battle to change that you gotta start now. So what are you gonNA do right now to change your your training physically all right, so you gotta I number. Right that your physical number. Second number mentally what I mean by. How well you training your mind, what are you reading? What are you consuming? What are you putting into your mind? That's helping you grow in wisdom and understanding and knowledge. What do you? What are you reading? I'm not just talking about what you're listening to right I. Mean and listen. I think listening to books are great, but what I'm talking about is what are you? What are you consuming in your brain? That's actually helping you grow. Into a better person. Right. And how's that training going? 'cause you gotTa Push. Yourself push your mind in the same way. You gotTa Push Your Body. You have to be able to push your mind you have to. You have to read the tough things you have to read. It got something lifted. Forgive maybe a hard book for you to read you remember. What do you remember what happened? Last week? We talked a green beret you know. May Jason Band camp last week. Remember what he said. You got to embrace the discomfort. That very thing that you don't WanNa do. That's the thing you've got to be doing. And so I would really book lived lifted. Forgive is a great book to challenge you to challenge the way you think. She got two numbers of physical number mental number, and then the emotional number Jason talked about his book. He's GonNa talk about this today. A lot of emotional things that he had to deal with and how he struggled along the way you know coming to grips with his own emotions with his dad. because. There was a period of time there where you know he. He didn't know where he was at emotional. He his emotion Swan from I. Wish My dad was gone to I. Want My dad to live to I. Want my dad to I I WANNA have a relationship with my dad. That's that's man that whole characteristic. That Jason's going to talk with us today that that's what we call emotional intelligence. That's emotional growth. That's an emotional challenge and whatever you're facing today emotionally. Right you have to look at those things as part of your emotional challenge, and so on a scale of went to ten. How's your emotional training coming? And it reflects two things one is how well you able to control your emotions, and then to how well are you able to actually tap into the emotions of other people? And understand those emotions. Have empathy and have compassion. So skilled went to ten I'm not very good at that ten outstanding. Where would you put your saw? So you have three numbers. which leads us to the fourth area and that's a spiritual area. And listen spiritual area is really pretty easy for me to just help you understand. Here's what it works. If remove the physical, mental and emotional, and you remove all that whatever you have left. That's a spiritual peace. I thought it was interesting. I read recently about the spiritual area. We all have a spirit inside of us. You'll hear people talk about you know. That we've got the spirit that lives inside of us that drives us, or that connects US peacefully or connects us with joy and happiness joy. Under the difference. And peace and and I heard I heard i. read this, it said. Being spiritual is not going to church and thinking about kayaking. Being spirituals, going kayaking and thinking about God. That's being spiritual. So whatever that is for you. How is your training going spiritually? Meditation I some people say it's nature and people do say it's. How is it working for you? How's the training going? On a scale of one to ten. By the way. You've got four numbers. Right you those numbers as the legs of a chair. If the chair is uneven. It's bad on your posture and it's hard to get settled. And it's hard to. It's hard to sit. By the same token if the chairs to low. What happens is we can't eat at a normal table, so the whole idea is to bring up all four years of your life. Bring him up in balance. And then not only bring him up imbalanced, but bring them to the right level at your highest level. It's. Start Your training today started now. What can you do? What can you change speaking of somebody who loves talking about change? His name is Jason. Romano Jason is a speaker author. Media Consultant Church leader with twenty years of professional broadcasting experience on the regional and network level for seventeen years Jason was a senior manager producer at ESPN. He has created and produced content for shows. Such as sportscenter may have heard of that Monday night. Football may have heard of that Mike and Mike in the morning we offer to that Sunday NFL countdown. Come on man you had to of that. How About College Game Day? MLB's All Star game and you know during his time at ESPN Jason Produce content for ESPN radio which he loved. And you know what? He grew the talent producing department building relationships with some of the biggest names in sports, as well as create and managed. NFL ON ESPN social media channels growing to over six million followers. Jason has spoken to thousands of people at conferences, colleges, companies and churches. He's a big advocate of social media having built up such a huge following with ESPN and his own personal social feeds. Feeds as well as personal brand listen. He is so easy to reach out. You can reach out to him, but he's absolutely outstanding guy. He is the author of this book and he's got a brand new book coming out also called uniforms leadership. We're going to talk today about lifted. Forgive so everybody out there. Please welcome to a new direction and welcome to the show Jason Romano welcome better. Jay, thank you buddy so good to be with you. That was quite the introduction. I appreciate it my friend. You are so welcome. Listen this book I. This Book lifted forgetful I am. I have written you i. have told you a big Fan I am. The the book broke me down. I'm going to be really be honest about that. There was a point I. Dictate the Book Out Loud when I do the notes of the book. And there's a there's a point where on dictating the book out loud. Because my typing quite frankly slower than dictation and I'm reading these things out loud, and I'm finding tears rolling down my eyes, and of course you do, is you. Of course you have to go head? Poke me right in the chest and go, so what's hurting inside you? Big Fella and I'm like. Wow I. Wasn't ready for that, but it is a great book. It is a book. That I believe. Is it touches people this book? Is Really a book about you and your father and the relationship. Between, you and your dad and actually take you and the bottle and we say that yeah. Absolutely right, so let's let's just start where it all starts in chapter one. It's called finding your father secret the importance of feeling and it starts. You're all excited. Summer Nineteen eighty-four. Dad takes you to ticket master. It's the giants versus the Eagles of course. Dad's a giants fan, urine. Eagles fan what happened. Well I'll preface it by saying. I'm not an eagles fan. My brother is actually eagles fan and he would. He would yell at me. Advice Guy. You're a cowboys Guy I. Am a cowboys guy, so if I just rolled up, it's GonNa be like Yep, I'm an eagles fan. My brother would like come after me right now to season imagine that household eagles cowboys giants. It was. It was quite the household growing up what you're missing. The redskins in that House I know the only team were missing crazy, but as a kid I really didn't care I mean I would love to have seen Dallas. But you, take a kid to a game. It doesn't matter if. It just does Adam and when it was eagles at giants. Team in my Dad's theme. I was so excited. All ready to go I was ten eleven years old. We're talking about the fall of eighty four. and. It was my first game I remember vividly I was writing a book to the memory. Start coming back of Driving down to Philadelphia from Albany New York where I'm from and the anticipation and excitement and. Having that ticket, which was so hard to get tickets not easy to get They aren't easy today back then it was hard to and getting to park in the parking lot raw. The fans are and then walking in that long walk from the parking lot to the stadium. The Old Veterans Stadium in Philadelphia, and you go inside at all all you see a sea of green, not just green terms of the fans. What like the giant amounts of green on the PERF in football field? It's just insanely big, and it was amazing I mean it's. It's everything you WANNA remember. As far as experienced as a kid, go to their first football game. But quickly be go here. Maybe you don't. You can kind of take me watt quickly that turned from excitement to few Jn to fear. And ultimately to tears in a very scary drive back unfortunately. You know what happened though was. This is your first experience though. With. Seeing, Your Dad At, drink. And understanding it, yes, yeah. I I I've been around him drinking. Note that it was. It didn't know that it was going to lead to a bad circumstances. Terrible outcomes, you know I remember being six years old and going Jay to the bar with my dad, and he would be in quarters and buy me. A soda in I would go play pinball and. That wasn't a bad experience from even though my dad drinking. Probably. Drink too much. But. It was at this moment when I saw him drinking and it was. It was affecting everyone around him and that was where it got. Really scary. That's why I talked about the secret debt. Finding dead secret because the secret wasn't that he drank. The secret was that he had a drinking problem. Affecting. AUSE ING a lot of people painting including itself. But the one thing that you describe. The one thing that you describe in this though is that his personality changed. Yes jekyll and Hyde, so my dad if you met my dad today. And even if you met him back then and he was sober. Very charming, Guy Nice guy a lot of. Lots to laugh huge sports fan. Once, he drank it was he turned a different person and he became sports usually revolved around his drinking. Unfortunately, so that's where I I equate sports. My Dad in his alcoholism almost together as one. When, he drank! It turned into a monster like a real angry screaming, yelling verbally abusive, physically abusive, but verbally abusive and saying things that. I mean as I got older certainly into my twenties and thirties in things from him when he was drinking I I could never repeat to worst enemy, but they were horrible things. So, that's what happened in. That was time I remember seeing. My Dad turned into. A different person and it was scary. Scary moment from came for my brother is for my stepmother. It was it was pretty scary. So One of the things you say in that day is that that was the day that should have brought us closer together, but instead it helped create instability and insecurity in me and my brothers psyches. and. But the key the key for you was your love of sports. Was the very thing that was actually kind of tearing it all apart. Yeah I. Say the very thing that should have brought us together. Actually like brakes us and separate us in part because. Sports was was. Still to this day Jake sports is the common denominator with my relationship with my father You know the last few months without sports at the middle of pandemic, we have had to try and figure out other things to talk about, but that always even in the midst of our relationship. As we started to reconcile and we'll get to that we we still talk about sports, so the very thing that should have brought us together in in many ways did when we were little, just tore apart because the only time I would see my dad in state. He was in usually revolved around sports like we would go watch games on the excited to sit there and watch the football game with the Mirror baseball game. And if he was drinking, it usually ended up in a really bad experience that somebody was going to be crying. Other people are going to be walking out of the room and he was going to be playing the victim role of wire y'all upset at me. I didn't do anything and it was just a really. Good memory and it just wasn't. Yet you do have you do have kind of this. Fortunately for you. You have this kind of this rock. Behind you and that's Nanna and Pau, your grandma and GRANDPA. They were kind of like this. This center rock during all the turmoil. Right that you could kind of hold onto so describe you know how you gravitated. was all over the place and yet your grandmother GAM? Father were kind of worry. You were able to kind of have some stability, right? Yeah, so shout out to my mom because she was. She's Iraq as well, but my mom was working three jobs when we were little just to keep food on the table because my dad was to be founder was it was a good place, so my grandparents were the ones that my mom entrusted us to go to kind of stay. Watch US and take care of us and tickets to the movies on the weekends into restaurants. Into, sporting events and store as kids and get boys, we, they're spoiled the heck out of us and me and my brothers. My two brothers were there. are only three grandchildren that they had. So they have one child, my dad, and so those three grand for them like their third, second, third and fourth. and. We didn't appreciate that when we were little because we were just happy to. Somebody wanted to buy stuff in tickets to go food. and. but as we got older, certainly, we you all. In their later years to take care of us to get US whatever we wanted new when I went to college, my grandmother. Grandfather paid basically for my first semester edge first year college, so they they were more generous than any two people I've ever known and not just generous with purchasing him buying, but with their time. I think they saw their son my dad. Betty got a really bad path, and so they sponsor that my dad wasn't there for us. They felt responsible to pick up slack and they picked up the slack quite a bit. I'm grateful for them. There might know there are two of my favorite people ever my grandfather. It's my heat, wrote the greatest man I've ever known, and we miss them, but we I remember. Clearly office time that they took care of us and You Know I. Don't think we would be here and be the people. we're talking with Jason Romano The book is called lifted. Forgive moving forward when those who love. Those we love hurt us and. The book is an upstanding read. You need to pick it up. It's I'm just telling you. It's if not for yourself. Do it for a friend so that you can learn more about. Really, the struggles that so many people through so many of us go through when we're dealing with people, you know abusive situations. It's going to really give you a lot of insight. I promise you. One, of the things that you said is dad's alcoholism pulled me deeper into two realities, you said an external reality, the unresolved issues in my dad's life and the problems they caused for those he loved which I couldn't control and then an internal reality, the unresolved issues in my own life and the problems they were causing for me which I could begin to knowledge and work through talk talk about those two realities. I. I would even add a third reality which wasn't in the book, but the reality of. My mom and my my grandparents, but my mom, allowing us to have a normal childhood, inexperienced things right and my grandmother to grab just taking us to the movies taking us to the toy store taking us to dinner like just normal things that could get kids get to do going out and playing with your friends going in the backyard of my grandparents house and having epic basketball battles with my brothers. You know that was sort of regular reality that I remember as of the good side of growing up as a kid. And then there was the dad reality towards the bad side of the sort of life that we were living, but the internal reality. What didn't really take shape until I recognized fourteen, fifteen sixteen, and we can all go back to those years and as we're starting to mature and get a little older and start to understand things differently than when we were little kids. When I really I tell people all the time, my relationship with my dad. But during those years was very confusing. And I, it's the first time I tell the story in the book of getting. Ready to go to a mets game with him on the mets fan, cardinals fan, take a bus trip down. This is probably when I was fourteen fifteen. We were getting ready to go and he shows up drunk and. Four, so it wasn't even the morning of and I had such anger towards him. I I really lashed out at him. and. For Myself, play the victim and to help. ME. How could you let me down? We have a game to go to hear. This was supposed to be our moment our time together. Just you and me. And in you, come home drunk and I remember hiding myself in going into the bathroom, locking the door. And just kind of creating this barrier. that was that need to be created from there at that moment with my father, and I was screaming and yelling. And crying, which very rarely did I ever cry? Terms of emotions for anything during those years, and I was crying so set, and you know fourteen fifteen sixteen year olds are pretty selfish kids. Selfish people just in general, and I'm sure. A lot of that had to do me selfish and wanting to have experienced a mets game, but deep down. This reality talked about only going on inside of me was a crushed. Kid. Who Just wide and have his dad be firm? For once in his life, and remember, I had two brothers, so most of what we did was altogether, and this was a moment where it was just going to be meeting my father. And it was ruined and I think that's kind of the internal struggle that I paddled with and tried to understand and was very confused over for many years during my teenage time that thirteen to seventeen range. His name's Jason Romano Books called. Forgive moving forward when those we love her us, and you're listening to him here on a new direction. Hey, folks, new direction has a couple of sponsors. And, we love our sponsors and you know epic. 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And we're back here on a new direction with Jason. Romano and his book lived to forgive and. We're just barely. In the first chapter. But we'RE GONNA WE'RE GONNA WE'RE GONNA move ahead. We're going to a speed his life like he's. He's probably looking at me. Going I don't speak my love up anymore. Man I wanted to slow down right. So you know what's interesting about. When we last left you, you were huddled on the bathroom floor. and. That actually that barrier. That you talk about will become a theme actually throughout the entire book because it is the importance of setting a boundary. And you, you know one of the things. That's a psychological professional I love, you know when you start unfolding people's stories and you go. Wow! How cool is that that you had a foreshadowing? Of hiding yourself in a bathroom with a door, setting up a boundary making the wall, you're the physical wall, your boundary and then having to learn how to set up your own emotional mental boundaries down the road. and. It's funny how that worked out. Go ahead I'm sorry. No I I just I just I found it I found. It was like going I wonder if he. Put together that this was a foreshadowing. You. Know because you do talk a lot about boundaries because dad as you start to get older. Dad Starts Crossing boundaries. For you. Yes and you find different bathrooms to hide in. Is What you do I know I mean it's just the analogy just works right because it's so, what happens is right, dad, that has a way of hurting you right because it's your high school graduation. Right let's move there your high school graduation. Your step, MOM's there. But who wasn't there? Not My dad and it's funny. You Know I. Tell People the four pillars. Of a person's life. Are those those moments. You always refer back to right, so you start with high school graduation you go to college graduation. You go your wedding day and then for me. It was this when my daughter was born. So those are my four pillar moments right, and you can throw other things in there. Certainly Espn and things like that, but those four moments are probably the ones that. Most people would look at it and say well. Let's graduate high school graduated. College got married and had a kid like those set your life up in the trajectory. You're going to go in. Off Four of those moments, my dad was absent missing. And there were times where he was trying to get better. In that high school graduation, he brought up day. My Dad was a rehab the very first time. Trying to get sober, and so that was nineteen ninety one. It's almost thirty years ago now, and he is trying to get you know get better. But I didn't see as him. Trying to get better I saw as him missing migration. Day and I needed my dad to be Right and so college same thing. I needed my dad to be there for me in college he was. You know not there. I don't remember if he was in Rehab or if he was just having drinking spell, I certainly remember my wedding day twenty years ago in nineteen ninety nine. Twenty one years ago when We wanted him there. Inviting him to the wedding, and then we had to uninvite him to the wet. But I wanted my dad at my. You only hopefully get married once, and that's when I want him to be their experience that and he went on a drinking binge four or five days before the wedding, we had to invite Dad for my wedding, and then lastly, when my daughter was born, two thousand four. We were at the hospital in my dad was at his hospital. Out in New York, which is probably three hours from where I was in Connecticut time and he was in a Rehab, trying to get better, but missing birth of our daughter and. Not to take away anything from my brother, having kids, and they have four kids have kids in. It's amazing, but we went through four years of infertility, and this was a big deal. This was a gigantic deal, always a big deal, but for us. This was a miracle about to happen because we prayed and prayed for this child. So you want your dad. There wasn't and everybody else was. My wife's parents were there. My sister was there. My mom was there. My brothers were there. They all drove out to be there for us our big moment. In my dad wasn't and so, that was kind of purring theme started through High School, and ethically thirteen fourteen years later continued when I became a father myself. You make a statement. In this book I want to throw out at you, you say anger and hatred or okay. But. They must be moved through and I just going to follow that up with. If it often, it takes an awareness of the broken ourselves to see the broken and others. And to meet them in their struggles. The fact was. It was embarrassing, humiliating and made you angry. And you thought your dad was a loser drunk. Now. Yeah. I mean I had I had more bitterness inside of me Jay And I don't even think I realized that for many years because there's a point where I had to hit it from. My Dad and what he had done for me in my life, or not done to I, have a life to go live myself and I definitely felt that when I got married, and then, when I got the job at ESPN, and then moving to Connecticut hit in sort of starting this career in this journey and the success, especially from the eyes of of the world. Seeing me you know, achieve a job like that I, had kind of. Pivot from from being sad and feeling sorry for myself and going to live my own life, but deep down for many many years. The bitterness just Kinda sat there I talk about in the book about. Its chapter boxes in the attic. And Chap I love that chapter. I have stepped over my own boxes and kick them around. A bunch of times. Go ahead. The idea is that we all have for most of US had his attic and we'd throw these things in boxes and put up. Put them up in the attic, and we storm up there and sometimes. We forget that they're even up there up there. Sometimes. We might not look at him again until we move or in many cases till somebody passes away and you start out the memories. For me I had these boxes of memories. From my dad that I had stored in put it in the attic of my life, and just said okay. I'm not gonNA pull those out anymore. But like I said when you put something up in the attic and a box. Eventually you gotta put out in open up and see what's inside and from beat. That's what it was. It was these memories these feelings, these emotions that I had towards my father and I just Kinda store them up and put them away. And eventually you gotta pull him back out and usually were by dad. Will get you know drunk or call us, and we would have this really bad phone calls. Some of those memories were being pulled out. They weren't good ones and so I. would laugh lash back out at my father. I would. I would I would inflict or try to inflict the pain that he was inflicting on me right back to him. which obviously looking back now. Very unhealthy. And it's not the right way to respond. Being angry. He, said you know sometimes, that's okay as As I wrote a think it is okay to be angry back. There's four parts of the book and one of them is feeling the pain now. Part of the pain is is that people inflict on new lowering yourself to be angry over that. It's what we do once we get angry. That can get in trouble for me. My channeling of the anger store it in a box and put it in the back or just last shout, scream and yell instead of trying to campus. Peacefully or just not handling it all, so I I. I will proud of how I responded to be quite honest with you, because a lot of people might say j that it was just. Because of the pain ause me, but I'm not proud that I responded that way. You know especially after I. I got serious about my faith at understood. The faith that I put my faith and trust in she hannity was about forgiveness, and I, not proud that I really couldn't give my dad even after I understood started to learn about forgiveness, and I was lashing out in that healthy. We're talking with Jason Romano. The books called lifted. Forgive moving forward when those we love her. It's available Amazon Bookstores near you get get yourself a copy. America's number of copies because this is going to be one of those books that. I believe that will help you and help those that you know. Move through their issues. Especially because you know what there's a lot of dysfunction out there, it's not just alcohol. There's a lot of. There's a lot of dysfunction and this book is going to really be helpful. I'm telling you just even for me. I found this book to be extraordinarily helpful to opened my mind to some of the things that I tried ignore and. It's. been an eye-opener very powerful so I really recommend again. It's called live to forgive. So. We are next bathroom. Moment really is. I should are next boundary moment. Is Coyote Community Kayak got you got you? Community, college you go to broadcast school because things. Is that you said going away was vital for my health and growth as a man, and the truth of the matter is you loved broadcasting and you wanted to work in radio and more specifically. You wanted to work in sports, media and So what was happening. Was that you go to college? You had a roommate. You're still around some alcohol. and. Yeah, but you were. You were able to say I'm not drinking right because the because this. It affected you so much that you said now I I'm not. Going to do. And, as a matter of fact, what happens is I. Don't mean for this to sound funny, but you're actually walking down a staircase and some guy. Punches you right? Right, and you go back into the party. And you just you break. lost. That was it's funny. I think back to those years and the pandemic allows you to kind of re to. Think about those days in rehashed him in reminisce a little bit and I've been doing a lot of that in the last three or four months, not just with those times, but just where I was certainly from a sports perspective from from journey with my family and all that but. That moment and I wasn't going to put that book initially and I. Remember Bring it up. Steve Michael Author and I were going through it and. He goes just tell me the story, and so I told him what happened in in essence. I lived with actually two other guys at the time. My this is my freshman year of college so eighteen I'm just a young Bach alone on his own for the first time. But starting to grow to grow up starting to understand what it means to live on your own and to be responsible. College and all that and the House that we lived in just to be quite honest, was was a house that we had a lot of parties, and there was a lot of drinking and other things taking place at these at his house at least a couple times a week and Yes since I was a kid I. always just didn't want to drink and so I never had that purple shirt in high school, and when I went to college. I, just I think part of I'm still thankful to God that he gave me a. Desire to not joy alcohol like. Don't enjoy the taste of it at all. Have tried it. In. On a couple of Asians to try drink more than just like a sip and it just it's just not my thing, so I'm glad for that now helps. In telling people when I was in college I, don't drink and I'm not gonNA. have any alcohol, but also started to realize during those years that the more told people that my dad was alchoholic. The more of an easy excuse. came to say that so that people wouldn't. Wouldn't question it. You know if I didn't drink. Call me a square chromium door whatever? To peer, pressure me into it, but when I told people about my dad. They stopped right way and it to me. So we were we were there one night this late in school year probably in April of my freshman year and we had this House party that was going on pretty late probably after midnight, and there was a guy there, there was a bunch of people there I didn't know there was a guy who was coming down staircase, probably from the bathroom and comes down the stairs. He looks at me and I. Look at him and I just said. Hey, what's up, man? And trying to be friendly and he looked and thought I must have called him the worst name because he said. What did you say? Hi and he goes what? Nails right in the face and Jay I'm a lover notified her man. I'm not the one who's going to start throwing down with. Just who I am and so he hit me and I was kind of caught off guard, and he just kind of kept well. There was nobody else around. was in the sort of for your area of his house that we're living. And he hit me and I I was kinda shocked by. It didn't really hurt her. Just kind of scared me a guest. and. I went and walk into the room when I was talking to my roommate Eddie, who still great friend of mine and a couple other guys and. and. We were just talking and he goes. What's wrong and I said. This guy just punched me in the face. And right when I said that I ll. Start Bawling and you know. Eighteen years old and year. Round your buddies and you're at a party. For me I was dude I'm like I. Cry and I started losing it. But credit to add credit to my other friends. They all went to bat for me. That consoled me and then they wanted to find the due to. Scrap. All right. We're going to have a knock down. Drag out. He apparently after be last. And they couldn't find him. And I found out who was later didn't in probably never saw him again after that moment, but it showed me a couple of things jay showed. I think I cried because barest. told, one. He I think hidden down deep below the surface of of my. My life was. Here, we go again with alcohol in my dad kind of all that he had done and gone through. and pain that he caused me kind of rearing its ugly head in one moment, just kind of punched in the face by somebody who had been drinking. And Yeah, there was a lot of emotions, and when I told story that my call steepness like we got this in the book, and let's unpack this. And I said okay. Let's try Boxes in the Attic Memories for sure we brought it back out. His name's Jason Romano and books called lifted. Forgive moving forward when those we love. Hurt us, and you're listening to him here on a new direction. Hey folks, you know our sponsors epoch physical therapy and of course Linda. Crafted team realtors. Listen I WANNA, talk about epic physical therapy, because their facility offers the most advanced top of the line equipment, including the alter G, anti gravity treadmill, which by the way you can just take the pressure off your joints, and you can still run and I I can't speak for your joints, but I can tell you that when it comes to my joints. Anything I can get to take pressure off. My joints just feels better all right. That's just the truth, right? They also have the Norma Tech compression sleeves the game ready which I tell you every week. How much I love that frozen water compression? Just takes all the swelling out man. Is it awesome? I just love it? That's just a few things that they have listened. They are trained and certified in the most comprehensive cutting edge treatments available, including things like blood flow restriction, therapy dry, needling own man is accurate, and then how about cupping? Have you ever seen? 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We're back here on a new direction with Jason. Romano Yes for producer. ESPN, Jason Romano He is with US lifted. Forgive moving forward windows. We love her by the way that I need to say this Jason the forward is written by Darrell, strawberry and I am a little older than you and I. I was a Darrell Strawberry Fan even though I. was Yankee Fan I was a Darrell Strawberry Fan. There's a story behind that because I had with the Yankees, too. Right yeah he did but Houston. So my mother's side of the family were mets, fans, and my father's side of the family were Yankees fans. Yeah sounds like a divided house. It was brutal, but here's I, learned to get the dollar from both grandfathers, naming all the players on both teams right so you go to the house, right and I could name Eddie, Crane, poole and John Stearns and Felix on and John. Matlock and Tom seaver and cleon jones great rusty Staub Joe Torre at third I could go through the whole thing, but then I could go over to the other side. You know. Greg nettles. You know I could. Just I could just run why I can just run through the whole the whole thing I just got my dollar. That's how you do it. You work besides. But I really did love Darrell Strawberry and his by the way his forward is absolutely. In of itself I thought it was extraordinarily powerful and. Just great! What? How special for you that both? Darrell Strawberry and DOC gooden Dwight gooden. We're able to be instrumental in your life and in your father's life, actually in in a very real way. And so I just want to point that out I. Want to move US forward. Because the one thing there is a theme since college you get you go to college and then. You know what's interesting. Is You get you? You meet your wife and the you know you. You're working at the radio station. You try wants to get on ESPN. You don't get the job and then two years later. You you get the job. And your. Pin but there's one seem that happens from college all the way through. To from your marriage to even being on the air. And that is your dad calls you. At night! Regularly in those dreaded phone calls Oh. And by the way we cannot say that because this shows a clean show by the way, we cannot say the words that his father used and by the way Jason doesn't even write the words out he he he lets you know with the first letter what the words were. Let me tell you they were far from complimentary. and. He was just. Manipulate the crap out of you. Man I mean he he would I mean he would say he's going to kill himself, and then he would say you know you'd be drunk and he would curse and swear you and. And you went through a variety of emotions. Did I mean. The phone call stands out when you bring up. Phone calls is probably. Two Thousand and three. And again involves sports, Jay, right and it's. Working at ESPN time and the cowboys in the giants are playing on Monday night. It's bill parcells as the cowboys coach, returning to the giants in It's a big game and I was working on this show called game night on ESPN radio and we're getting ready to cover the game in my dad. And I didn't know. It's my dad at first because there's no caller ID in calls into the main hotline number. AT ESPN so I. Have to answer it for my job in the last person I'm expecting to hear. Is My father. And he calls them thinking. How in the world did you get this number? It's a toll free number. In No, maybe that's how he got it from. I don't know how he got it, but he got any call answer and I can tell pretty early on. He was influenced and I asked very nicely, though I said listen I. I can't talk right now I'm working, which means I have to go back to work and I work at a pretty large company that isn't going to allow me in the middle of a sporting event to stop a less. You're literally dying. Something's bad and I had to go, and it was bad, but it wasn't that and slightly told him we don't call him for. At least three or four more times that night I dad call. He was drunk. He was angry. His his sports team was losing. My sports team was winning, so his way of calling was to scream and yell and. My team because he knew if he did that, but that will get under my skin and yeah. I'm trying to produce shop trying to get this show going for a national audience on the radio I have no idea how about the listening plenty were. And dealing with this call for my father, and it kept going low behold the cowboys won the game on this miraculous field goal in overtime. That should never take place. The giants should have won the game in regulation, and I found myself in the studio at ESPN. While I'm working shearing. Loudly. Else on and listen. Everybody's allowed to have their teams that they route forty forties pin, but when you're in the middle of work, you try to cable those. Those Fan the teams that you love. Let's but fan site at you. You table that and he tried to be professional. Anything and I scream yeah. Yes and I realized I was screaming and yelling. Yes, because I eat down, knew that my dad upset giants had lops. and. He was feeling pain, and it was my way of saying. Yes, give you know. Inflict was on this man right now, because he these things to me and I want him to suffer. sloughs. Deranged I was. Hope Twenty minutes later after my dad on last time calls. SAY ESPN! Radio this is Jason. That's how I answered the phone. And he's like. Hey Jason Your team is the luckiest in before. He could say anything. As loud as I, could for about insects in his ear. It was twelve thirty in the morning. Everybody pretty much of the ESPN was gone, and I just started laughing really loud and I said I'm so glad you're team lost and click hung the phone up. I to control the relationship with my father. I did not want him. Ever get the last word I did not want him to. Feel like one, but ever game. We were trying to play I want him to feel pain and I walked it to have the upper hand on him and again. This is how sick it was at that time, but this is how angry I was I couldn't find a processor deal with a lot of that and. And the only time dad I really communicate. At least for the most part, ninety of the time was phone calls because he lived too far away, and I didn't want him seeing you know my daughter I, didn't WanNA spend a lot of time with him. Because of the situation drinking, so it was phone calls, and at that very thing that sports thing that should bring us together in a cowboys, giants game, and have this cool moment with other son was just continuing to tear US apart. But it's you know you you. Go through this and talk about that even though you weren't really proud of your responses. But. This is truly the result of pain. Yes this I mean I don't want people to miss. That a lot of times, what happens is our our our reactions or actions to those who have heard us. Especially those we love who've hurt us. We're this is dealt with pain. It. Really was I mean I I hadn't. I was still doing my faith, and my faith plays an important role in this story because I did not grow up as a man who took his face, serious lay in became a Christian two thousand one. At twenty six years old, and got very serious about my faith and starting to kind of understand what it meant to have a relationship with the Lord and things like that we're trying to. We're beginning to enter into my life. And it was, but I never dealt with the pain I didn't know. In a healthy way how to do that I did go to therapy and counseling as a kid as my. Twelve, thirteen fourteen year, old and that helped certainly you know. My mom took us to that and she almost forced us to go and applied she did. But as I got older into my twenties, my thirties. This pain was being suppressed and I really didn't know how to how to deal with my way of dealing with pain was either the story in a box in the attic, and not deal with it or to lash back out of my father, that was the way of dealing the pain dealing with the pain, and I think if I had sought counseling. In those twenties thirty years just thinking back now. I probably would have been able to at least. Function differently in in and. You know I i. write in the Book Feeling the pain evaluating the drama and transforming the wound, I would have been able to transform this wound. I think a little differently. If I had some counseling or had somebody, I could talk to about it. For Professional Perspective, unfortunately, I did in faith eventually in my faith in the Lord. That journey with God is really what took me to a point to finally forgive him, but it took a long long time. Matter of fact you talk about. This intersection, basically between Your unforgiveness and your Dad's drinking. That the is. This was this was an intersection because there was actually kind of a parallel here that you saw. Between you know. I always thought I forgave my dad. And I always thought that was the case. And but the truth was I. Really hadn't you know? I thought what really needed to change? Was He needed? Stop Drinking and. Use a CS Lewis quote at one point you said. Everything. Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea idea until yes, something to forget. Right, there's another version of that. I think it says everybody can agree that forgiveness is a beautiful idea until we have to practice it. Right it's that's a second CS. Lewis Code on the same topic, and it's basically the same thing. Yeah, I mean for me. My Dad you know? In those moments growing and learning about being Christian. I'm reading about forgiveness. The ultimate sacrifice of Christ going to the Cross as Christian like that's the that's the that's the point right and that he gets resurrected in in a couple of days, and that's like the whole idea of Easter and the whole idea, Good Friday and the whole idea of salvation. Forgiveness God. Forgive me for I. Stay Right, God, forgive me for have I messed up and then asking God to forgive us and then restore us. But then he also. If anybody grew up in any Catholic church or any other church. Remember the Lord's prayer. Our Father and there's a moment where you say. Forgive us our trespasses. As, we forgive those who trespass against us. So I'm praying this prayer God, forgive me and help me forget those who have heard me. That was the hard part and my dad I could not. See I thought my dad. I thought for many many years after becoming a Christian when I allowed my dad back into my life right so he calls, and he sold, and I talked to him, and we have this nice chat about the Celtics or the NFL or something that I had forgiven him so yeah Dennis I've forgiven because I'm allowing you back into my life, but second. He was drunk the second he had another drink and he would call any with lash out again. I would be bitter about this clearly and I would scream and yell inflict that pain back onto him. If that's not as clear as day that I hadn't forgiven him I don't know what is because. Fijian's four the Bible. Paul the Apostle says that we are to forgive as guarding price forgave us, but the part before that it actually says we are to let all bitterness and anger and wrath be put away from us all of it. Along with all malice. If I'm quoting exactly at that is says. tenderhearted in forgive is got in crisis for giving you, so we're supposed to let this anger. We're supposed to put it all away from us. Not Let it go per se, but put it away from US and forget. And I'm thinking well. How the heck do you do that? How do you forgive someone who's so angry? And continues to make you angry, but the more I read it in more stood with the Gospels were saying what Paul was saying in in the epistles in a new testament of the Bible I'm realizing. Forgiveness isn't about my dad. Forgiveness is about me. And being able to be free from any bitterness and anger and wrath, and all the motions that I was experiencing so this forgiveness was never about my dad. You know getting sober and stopping the drinking and getting help or whatever. It was always about me when I wasn't forgiving when I was using not forgive ibook. It's a choice on both sides. It's like I was trapped in this anger in this bitterness and I had these you know shackles on my body, and my my body was literally inside a cage, and I couldn't get out because I was holding onto this anger bitterness for so many years and so man. That's what that's what I was struggling with, and it took me on very long time as I said, and it took me till just seven years ago, or saw was forty years old when when I finally came to a point to forgive my dad because I realized it wasn't about him. And here we are today and There's a picture in the back of the book with you and Dad at a celts celtics game. And He's still working through it I. Don't want to give away the whole thing because I think people need to read the book, but. The relationship is on the mend. And it has been. Yeah. I call it repair mode. I think our relationship will be in repair mode for probably the rest of our lives. You know forgiveness when I finally was able to forgive my dad. I realize it's not this instantaneous moment where you forgive and you. He put it in the microwave. You put the time on, and then when it's done, you pull it out in a while I finished a that's not forgiveness. Forgiveness is a process. It's a daily dying to. To yourself it's it's daily. It's daily journey to say hey. I'm going to choose to forgive this man. Every single time I talked to him every day and remember that it's not about him. It helps as you say that we were able to reconcile and I won't give it away I'll let people you know a dive in if they want to hear the rest of the story, but we have been able to reconcile. I WANNA. Say One more thing to Jay. Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation. I had to make a choice to forgive my dad whether or not we were able to repair our relationship. And that's something that really. That was really tired. That had to come to a point where it listen. If we never talk again after released this pain in in, forgive him for all he did. Thankfully, we were able to kind of spend time in that repairing of our relationship and come to a point now. Where like you said we're working through it, but it's it's not where it was thankfully and My Dad's doing a lot better and. You know that's that's a blessing really. Jason I'm GonNa, tell you something. I never have an idea of what the expectations aren't going to be for show. I just kind of always out of my hands I always I always tell people. It's never in my hands as much as I like to think as. I gotta I gotTA. Tell you this show has been a far greater than I could've ever hoped to remind. And I want to thank you. Personally. First of all for agreeing to be on the show, so thank you for doing that. Secondly for writing this powerful book that I believe is going to help. So, many people all over the world live forgive. Moving forward when those we love hurt us. Absolutely? Phenomenal Book and people need it just to heal. You need he'll you I? Mean you heard him? Say it there as well. So Jason One thing that I do and I've kind of pre warned you about this as we come to the end of the show because we've been on over an hour together, yeah. It's been a lot of fun for me. I've enjoyed it thoroughly and so I can't express my gratitude enough. But I told you I said you know. The show's called a new direction because we try to help. People find a new direction in their life for their career, their business and based on live to forgive moving forward when those we love, hurt us. What would be the new direction that Jason? Ramana would leave with the audience. I. Think the new direction hopefully for all of us. Including myself is that we continue to remind ourselves that you know empathy number one. Is A game changer. About the world that we're living in right now. I think about my relationship with my father. In the more empathetic, we can be the more that it will allow us to take ourselves out of the equation in the sense of. Everything revolves around us. That's a new direction for all of us. I think that we could really take forward steps towards because I always for many years with my relationship with my father thought it was about what he had done to me. That what he was going through, I never cared about what he was going. Through I cared about him getting there so that our relationship would be better in that I would not have to deal with what he was doing to me, so it was about me and with empathy. It's changed, and now I'm looking at him from his perspective in thinking man, this man was suffering in a lot of pain for forty plus years, and when I saw it from his perspective and started to have that empathy, it changed everything, and so on my thinking, here is a new direction for all of us would be to just have a little more empathy, and I know we've been talking about forgiveness for an hour, but the idea of empathy for me led me to be able to forgive my father, and so I would say, let's let's be more empathetic, and let's look towards living a life of empathy wherever it takes us. I love that. His name is Jason. Romano, books called live to forgive by the way he's going to new book coming that justice come out come out, called the uniform of leadership, please. On the blog right up that I do with the show I will have links to both books as a matter of fact, so that you can check up with books live to forgive as well as the uniform of leadership, and I will also have links to Jason's website so that you can reach out to him. Jason is extraordinarily giving. When it comes to reaching out to him, I can tell you that first hand because I'm a nobody and he. For whatever reason is heart was yeah I'll do the show so I am, but we're both nobody's Jay. Nobody? So I do appreciate it, so folks. That's to show you know what I say every week you know. Be, inspired. Because when you're inspired, that means you can inspire other people and win. They're inspired. That means in terms they can inspire others as well and that can make this world. An amazing place I'M GONNA be back next week with another great guests in a great book, and it's going to be another great show, and as I say to you everybody every week, Chow everybody. Time has gone. Man. When you out your confidence. Has Don Nixon. Got To cave. Got You know you can't sue. Brand new. New? Things GonNa Change. You can't find. and. China's. Place. Plan your passion. A new. Show. New Direction. New. Brand new day. You can find us. To go to. com. down.

Romano Jason Jason Romano ESPN US Jay Sports pain Linda craft giants cowboys Football High School producer mets NFL Customer Service Eagles
I Know This Much Is True, Body Double, Greatest Female Comedians, 2007 Oscars

Cinephile: The Adnan Virk Movie Podcast

56:22 min | 11 months ago

I Know This Much Is True, Body Double, Greatest Female Comedians, 2007 Oscars

"Brother could become a showy caricature of. They're written cells in the RUFFALO lives in a small quiet moments as well as big explosive outposts Ben Travel Indie wire talking about I know this much is true. An HBO mini series four parts down two more to go. That's the main be. We're doing this time here instead of file also, we're going to touch on the mindy project unsolved, which is a show on USA never could couple of years ago. I watched an episode of. Of each it also body double as we continue our unofficial Brian Depalma. Look back. We've talked his other movies here in recent weeks. Including Kerry this time, we're going to talk about body double, which was one thousand, nine hundred four film, also a terrific interview. Christian sparks acadian filmmakers filmmakers going to excellent crime thriller. It's called a hammer. It's out on this Friday on Amazon Apple Voodoo you name it. It's really good. I enjoyed it. A lot rented talk to him. Him about his life and upbringing in Newfoundland are male rushmore female comedians in honor of Mindy killing total recall, the two thousand seven Oscars, the film from two thousand and six, but first and foremost to all of you on twitter. You can always follow me on twitter Adnan s burke, and of course our handle is sinophile pod. Normally we do these audio grams here on canes thirteen, so if you follow me on twitter or Instagram, your what those are enjoying are terrific. Terrific Social Media Team put together a thirty forty five second one minute clip of some section here of sinophile put it out there in the hopes that people will click on, and of course listen to podcast to be perfectly candid. Normally those get in the range of I, would say minimum three thousand views, maybe five thousand views, and in the case of succession, which is a very popular show autograph of that. I think we got nine thousand years maybe about ten thousand. So last week we clearly struck a nerve here a heated climate of the world in which we live in by giving very mediocre review to dark, in which I called the show, derivative and bland and predictable, and aside from Laura Linney, and Julia Garner not a show that I would recommend that. I regretted spending thirty hours on the show. Listen up foul last week. I'm condensing my comments. I urge you look back and listen to what I had to say. Because it was obviously much more in depth to save struck, a chord would be a mild understatement. Understatement I was taught years ago by my friend Jason, Romano, to use pin's social media in order tweet and I'm sure this has changed. Perhaps ten am to two PM Monday to Fridays. The opportune time I tweeted this around a little after two o'clock on Wednesday whenever it was. George sent me the audio. Graham Joe I don't know if you've actually checked my twitter right now, but of course what I immediately did was each person that agreed with me. I would re tweet and everybody who was bashing me out either ignore or perhaps put flippant comment. Generally in twitter verse if you can go fifty fifty, that's incredible win. At one point I was trending forty sixty meeting forty percent defending me. Sixty percent were killing me by the end I'll be honest. It was about thirty percent defending me saying you're right. While the overrated and seventy percent saying you're a buffoon, an idiot an intellectual snob. You take yourself seriously one that her particularly most of the guy who said you're not part of the academy. Get over yourself so of course had to check his bio and said well. Why don't you get over being a bengals fan because he has eighteen followers that led to an ice back and forth. But. Joe Do you WanNa. Take a guess at how many views we ended up getting because I did. Listen I'll be. Some name drops Chris Long. My Man Chris Long of my beloved Philadelphia Eagles. Thank you for bringing a super bowl championship Chris, long, we did at one point not criticizing me, but again took the completely different. Tactic me again. I said Jason Bateman is woefully miscast. He said babies the best part of the show. I said Laura Linney is the best part of the show He. He said God, if I have to watch her one more time with a slit, is and that Coniston and look at her face option to throw the TV through the window Julia Garner said great, he said enough of the tough talking ruth now. Christmas wasn't being negative. He was just disagree with me, but once he got into the accident. Talk every go Peter Rosenberg my buddy from ESPN huge hip hop guy, New York, city. He crushed me. He's in love you, but this is a horrific. This is a horrible take. This is the Jason Bateman is going to be known for. I said love you to Peter. There's no way he'll be remembered this. It's of course Michael. Bluetooth arrested development years from now hundreds of years. People say oh, Yeah Jason, but my cup Luth when the greatest shows of all time, so this was the extended. What people are going on and led to me some strong entertainment for much of my day, last Wednesday Joe a roundabout way of saying. Do you want to take a guess? How many of us? We gotta that Audio Graham Okay. I'll go with the. Ninety Five K, ninety, five, hundred, fifty, five thousand. We blew the doors of on your grab and I swear to you. I was GonNa tell you in light of covid nineteen. When everyone's dealing with here. Hey, we don't have to do. These people are busy. It's okay, but clearly pissing people off, but a well like show is the way to go, so you know what I'm just GonNa. Go ahead and cut myself into and I'll start criticizing all. All. My favorite shows to get the ratings up I'll bash the sopranos. Curb your enthusiasm XIV, but whatever it takes, we'll just be a professional troll here on twitter. As long as it means all those people who kill me are subscribing to a file or rating, and reviewing so I'm going to ask Joe to check the numbers and a couple of days, please a hundred and fifty five thousand views. I would think with the bashing always taking. Telling me, that was a moron. Let's hope we got those numbers up. There is something to be said here. Joe As you know, I was being authentic in my comments, I mean I most dismissive of the people saying you're being true, and if you listen to the podcast, you know I. Speak My opinion, you know. The Irishman is a critically acclaimed movie which got ten Oscar nominations, but I'll be the first one to save go by twitter and the general public. I think it got mixed reviews. Joker is a film that got eleven Oscar nominations. It got critical approval and I didn't like it, so I'm going to give my opinion when I disagree with people and the case Ozark. It didn't work for me. Generally speaking my going with the flow, I suppose successions critically acclaimed show well liked. I thought it was brilliant. I've mentioned. Curb your enthusiasm next. We're GONNA talk about Romney season to a show which I love a Golden Globe winner for Romney so as show, I'm authentic when it comes to this I'm not trying to get click bait here I'll let everybody know when I. WanNa to get Click Beta right when I started like I, said start crushing my own sacred heroes, just to get the numbers up, but Ozark the the best one. One I will say this by Michael. Buick, who's a terrific actor? We've had on the show. This is the only point he may. which actually made sense? He said perhaps, and he loves the show for the record. Perhaps you were hurt by binging. I think he's right about this. When you're binging, you can't wait to get to the next episode to see what happens. It's very much plot driven, and if I was watching. Ten episodes once a year. Perhaps I would enjoy the slow paced rhythms, and would have enjoyed the feel of the show rather than hey, when did we get to the next part God? This is so boring Winston ain't gonNA. Happen rather than I'm really enjoying this journey on. I do think there's something to be said for that, and that's the negative part of binging I think if. If I'd watch the show once you. I'm going to tell you. I think it's a great show, but I enjoyed. It more may not have been calling it. A poor man's breaking. Bad having said that sometimes Binge Watch, it's the best on never forget homeland season one was one of the great binge experience of my life. My wife and kids were away I to watch homeland. Man Entire Day, but it was definitely over the weekend, and I said this show is incredible, and of course in a fell off the map in season three succession as I, just mentioned binge, watch I love doing. It allowed me to really enjoy the momentum of the show, but show your thoughts on the downside to binging whether or not, that's ever impacted you personally. Yeah I think I think it definitely has I think a show like game of thrones, for example is a better show to binge versus go from week to week and I guess you know to your point. This is a show that may be better when the full seasons out, and you're only getting it yearly versus being able to watch all thirty hours at once. Just like the idea that this is the episode where you're turning Heel Adnan. Hall Cogan go into Hollywood. Hogan, so everyone look out for that just to prance review coming next week. Exactly I'm just GONNA go ahead and be fully healed from now on, and embraced us as always you can go to Bacchus, please on and fifty five thousand people all the ones that hated me. Just do your favorite. Just go to sin a file on apple podcast you can subscribe rate and review at. At? Appreciate all of you speaking of the sopranos a DM from someone people love sliding DM's Abdulaziz just finished the Sopranos Tang. Get your take on the finale. What the F. Happened! Well, guess what you can go back and listen to the bottom bench me and Joe in through every episode of the Sopranos including the ending and detail, so you can always go back to previous episodes here of sinophile and. and. Check out all the answers to all the questions that you may have all right. Let's kick this baby off and talk about I. Know this much is true. Which is an HBO mini series based on the bestselling by wally lamb written directed by Derek in France and starring Mark Ruffalo this limited series follows Dominic Bertzi as he struggles to care for his twin brother, Thomas while discovering the truth but his. His own family history I've never read the book by Wally Lamb aware of it. I know he's an author who definitely deals with a lot of heavy subjects, and this is about as heavy as it gets Ruffalo, no surprise is terrific in the dual role of twin brothers, Dominic and Thomas Birdseed. Thomas is the one who is bipolar. In the very first episode. He cuts off his hand. That's right, folks. In a fit of rage in manic depression, he cuts off his own hand, and this is up to his brother to save him and try to help. As the afflicted brother is committed to a state hospital. And thus you have dominic, who is the brother? Who's you think relatively well? Put together as a painter? He's got an ex wife or I want these seemingly better often his brother, he's going to try to help rescue brother out of there, but the story then goes into their past oscar-winner Melissa Leo always like her. She plays their mother excellent cash uniform, Listen Katherine Hunt showing up playing Ruffolo's ex wife that be dominic, his ex wife. Juliette Lewis, showing up for the first time in a while loved her in Cape Fear, she plays lender frank, who dominic hires at one point to translate his grandfather's words. He's written in Italian and he wants to translate it into English. They have a really weird love interest and the real surprise ready for this one Rosie O'Donnell playing Lisa Scheffer, who is somebody who is committed to helping dominic. Get his brother Thomas at of Prison Rosie Odonnell. Short hair gray hair. Now got the glasses on empathetic figure. unrecognizable at first, but a very strong dramatic role, archie job you also in the role playing a psychologist. But this is while those shows that is heavy and I don't mean like back the future like when Marty keeps saying this is heavy in docs. Asking Earth's gravitational poll I mean heavy in terms of somber dramatic, subject matter, not only a guy who's bipolar, but spoiler alert. You've got a baby that dies relatively early on just a shot of a baby coffin is enough to make one weep. You've got miscarriages. You've got estrangement. You've got abusive. Parental abusively their sexual abuse at one point I mean it is, it is a heavy show and again. This is where with binging I think with Beijing and might have been too much to handle it. It listen, I can't sit here. Watch this and wallow in the mock and the misery, but when it's once a week on HBO I'm allowed to separate myself and appreciate the strength of it, which is clearly acting. It's hard enough to play one role, but Ruffalo makes the bipolar character sympathetic and heartbreaking, while at the same time showing how dangerous this guy can be, and the role of Dominic, which is the main role is even stronger because again. You think he's the well put together brother, but he's got anger issues. He's dealing with ex wife. He's got tragedy. And as you see, trauma flips him, and he's got a just a burning rage. Is tough to handle as Rosie ODonnell system at one time. You'RE GONNA. Get a cool that Sicilian temper of yours because it gets into a lot of trouble in terms of the shooting style. I mentioned Derek in France if you know him. He's obviously an independent filmmaker who has a really specific style. I talked about Jason Bateman, as love, a focus polls well, there's one thing about Derek see in front. That guy loves extreme close ups at times. It works to his advantage, because with ruffles performance particularly in the quiet moments right up on his face. Make you literally can't get a break it all at times. Times I think it's distracting. For example in the characters are driving an extreme close to think about this. The camera at is just above your eyebrows and the bottom of the frame. It was just below your Chin like a true close up his shoulders up. This is real, easy you to use the film term, and at times you go God. Just give me a break. Cut Away a little bit. It's of like with one thousand, nine, hundred seventeen in the way that Mendez kept following the characters. It was very claustrophobic. You were never allowed to cut away, so I think that's maybe seeing Francaise intent. Quite frankly, it's just his style. His previous work, the place beyond the pines the Ryan. Goss and we're very good. At least two thirds of it even mend Israeli auto. Bradley Cooper Blue Valentine again. Very heavy. Domestic drama also start Ryan Gosling. Solicitor couple of his previous credits. Certainly, he's a film maker I. Think is very good and likes dealing with heavy subject matter like this but I. Think in one watch it's. Tough when you're able to space it out, it's rewarding particular performances of a Guy Mark Ruffalo. Joe, who I think is about as strong in American actors. We have talked about Laura Linney previously. You can count on me. That was Ruffalo his breakout role. Go back and look at some of the reviews. People were comparing ruffled a brando, not in the sense that Marlon Brando's the greatest actor of all time arguably but Ruffalo, that performance specifically was a lot like Brando in one. The waterfront, mumbling shy, sweet sensitive guy beneath is rugged exterior. I mean if you look at as. Commercial Films obviously. Guys Hope for God sakes. I'm sure he's made a lot of money, but he's terrific independent rooms as well it could be Zodiac. It could be spotlight. It was Oscar nominated for Fox catcher. If you're a fan of mark, Ruffalo, Joe I recommend I know this much is true. Definitely will check a huge fan of Mark Ruffalo everything. He's done been in so good at Fox. Catcher I was reading one review for the show and kind of touches on what you're talking about, but this writer was saying how they. They got quote. Compassion fatigue when watching it from all the heaviness of the show, so you're kind of telling me that you kinda got compassion fatigue. If that makes sense, yeah, I, mean I give it three maple leafs because the performances, but I understand what Matthew. Gilbert here says Boston Globe. I know this much is true misses the mark in terms of storytelling. A, roiling massive misery that fails to provide you with a compelling reason to keep watching I. Disagree with him in that I think the acting is strong enough and I think if you have any sort of empathy, you care about this brother and what's going to happen to him, but he does make a point about the the roiling Bassett misery. A Sheila Molly of Roger Ebert Dot Com says seeing actors do what they do. Best with Sian Franz giving them the space to do it makes this much. Is True a real feast? Right? That's on HBO. Quickly do the mindy project is to series. I never saw it was on. Two thousand to two thousand seventeen. The series follows obstetrician. Slash gynecologist, Mindy Lahiri Mindy. As she tries to balance her personal professional lives around by Quirky Coworkers and a small medical practice in New, York City. The reason I'm mentioning this is my sister is a big fan of it, and my wife criticizes me rightfully so I don't have enough. Female oriented shows in my life with exemption of marvelous. Mrs Mazel so I watched one episode. I thought it was all right I mean. Mean I had no reason to continue. I'm sure they're not gonNA WANNA watch, forty or fifty episodes decent supporting cast Bernal's Chris Messina, but I figure this would just be a jumping off point for our mount, Rushmore Female Comedians and the one thing I really do like about Mindy Kaeling is very self deprecating at time, self lacerating, as you can tell him a big Charlie Kaufman Fan in talking with. Mindy Fan of that movie because she will never miss a chance to make fun overweight or her looks at times. It's a little bit mean-spirited. But it certainly is an entertaining show so listen. If you need a little light touch right now you WANNA comedy. You could do worse than a Sitcom like Mindy Project. I watch thirty minutes. Molly entertained Allen. Simple UPROXX writes. The Mindy project was messy, but when it worked boy, it was fun I mean it's a happy satisfying romantic comedy Joe I feel like in the world these days. If somebody wants a little light touch. How about the Mindy Project? Definitely and I bear hold suspended to. He's great. Adam pally makes appearances in it heeds grade. Yeah and I like her. I just liked her whole career and heard trajectory. She's so smart and talented now she's as of last week writing a CO writing legally blonde three, so everyone can expect that. Come out sometime in the next two years. Yeah I liked the fact that you said she's not just an actress, but she's used that muscle to be a writer and producer as well so Kudos to her A. One more quick before you get into more depalma. This is unsolved murders of to park in the North Tortoise on USA network again. One of my wife's friends recommended it season. One of the true crime series falls investigations the murders A to. G and nineteen ninety-seven Detector Russell pollsters digging into biggest death, and covers a ring of corruption that plagues lapd in two thousand seven detective Greg. Paying Josh Duhamel reopens pools new cold case to the help of Federal Task Force. So I didn't care for it. The reason I'm mentioning it is I watch one episode I. Think Seven episodes I'm simply mention it because if you're a big into pop fan. I think you'll love it and I can certainly. Respect, their work, their impact on culture, and the greatest hits I mean. Let's who doesn't love. Big POPPA ten crack commandments love Dear Mama. Old School is great to park, but I'm not a huge fan, so the scene were Josh Bell is listening to piggies music. The Guy Asif for recap. Cause just sounds like a lot of Dick Jokes bragging about his sex life. That's Kinda, my vibe, but a lot of this gangsta rap as well, but I mentioned it because of the fact, that previously mentioned Ri- Murphy, who so often looks at real life events I love the the documentary that he did so something along those lines. I mean it's something different. If you like those characters like true crime stuff, why not check out unsolved? It's currently available on streaming and Craig de Lindsey of the village voice writes unsolved suddenly show us the life and times of big into. Steeped in public consciousness over the years, their untimely deaths have turned them an unexpected martyrs whose ghetto gospel money now revere as Canon, and the other part that I think about specifically now, man. Joe Is from Minneapolis, Saint Paul area. We all know what's happened right now. The protests across country himself has been involved with protests which I strongly support and admire Y- just imagine right now. Joe To poke around how much they'd be lightning rods for what's happened this country and how much attention they'd be giving something like George Floyd and. Obviously trying to do the best for in terms of social activism and their community. One hundred percents To Pock particularly, and all the activism that that he displayed when he was alive, and speaking out against police, brutality, especially in the wake of Rodney King at that time. I can't imagine the impact that they would have if they are still around today. I know Jay. Z called the governor of Minnesota. To offer his thoughts on it so I imagine that they would be kind of in that same vein of just concerned citizens about what's going on right now. Yeah, killer Mike I also saw was giving an impassioned statement as well so it's good to see you all artists coming up, we'll talk about some other social activism in a Sec, but I wanNA mentioned body double. That's right. I'M GONNA continue my Brian depalma retrospective, still building to blow for job. Here's a synopsis of the Nineteen Eighty four film which avid listeners of Sinophile. No, our recent guests rob Paulsen is embodied double. He's great by the way he does have that one line? Where's the come shot? Shot hysterical because he's getting frustrated as the as to when exactly porn films GonNa Reach Climax, but I got ahead of myself. Here's a synopsis Craig Watson. Plays Jake a struggling actor keeps losing Josh because of his Claustrophobia to make matters worse. His his walked out on him, so he has no place to sleep. His Pal offers in the use of his apartment. For the evening. The apartment happens to be equipped with a huge picture window and telescope, enabling him to spawn beautiful neighbor Gloria while she dresses, he also bears witness to a brutal murder, and then he meets a porn star played by Melanie Griffith, who just taking a job posing as the late Gloria. Again, you talk about derivative mean, I, don't know. Is Hitchcock Brilliant? Because literally as I read in that Synopsis Go, so He's remaking Vertigo and rear window or is he just a rip off? Artists do cheapening the value of some great hitchcock movies. I'll say this I don't think by double works as well as dressed to kill. I gave to kill three beliefs. I'm going to give by two and a half maple leafs and is a little bit dated and I. Do think that the. The Third Act isn't as strong as the rest of the movie, but again is a hitchcock fan i. just love the fact that he was paying mosh to one of the greatest directors of all time. Particularly, because many don't think know this. I also suffer from CLAUSTROPHOBIA. I cannot sit in a two door car in the back seat without freaking out like you wouldn't believe I'm like a Dustin. Hoffman and rain band seeing the water they know. What did you say how water got baby? I can't sit an airplane. If there's three seats I canceled the window seat. I'd rather sit in the middle seat, because for some reason in my screwed up rain. I can at least get to the aisle I of course would strongly prefer the. Elevators I'm relatively okay. Joe Knows Canes Thirteen. There's an elevator. You GonNa go very high I mean it depends on the mood I, and to be honest with some days I'll just take the stairs I'm not feeling great if it's narrow elevator, but in general claustrophobic and I'm saying smiling face because I think it's silly that my own apprehensions about this to be real I mean listen. If you have a Q. Claustrophobia, it is a terrifying experience. I'm going to be frank I remember. The Toronto Raptors prohibits zones sent me to I was getting a little queasy being on the outskirts of IT I. I mean I couldn't imagine being in the middle of a million people going on out. Here I gotta get out here. I gotTA GET OUTTA here. So that is to say I can appreciate any sort of movie in which the main character suffers from an ailment to which I can appreciate, and even the way the shoots his claustrophobia. It is reminiscent of Jimmy Stewart having Vertigo in the hitchcock. Classic I I. Think He's less successful in Apia rear window. If you haven't seen that, of course, the Great Jimmy Stewart film in which he's got binoculars spying and sees a murder here. It's a murderer. I just think the poorest stuff doesn't work as well. It is kind of funny. Dennis Franz by the way is in the movie apparently diploma regular. He plays a porn. Director won't give the main actors some really funny direction. Interesting though Craig Washington place. Nothing about him. Maybe a quick I'm debbie search would help, but it's amazing. This guy got the lead role Brian Depalma. Film I have no idea what else he's done. Of course we all know Melanie Griffith this before should other films. Antonio been is better half, but it's an interesting certainly helps me that I'm trying to finish up my hitchcock hoover but I don't think it's particularly strong zone so funny. tongue-in-cheek moments, but overall style doesn't Mesh with the best of department. Having said that Kim Newman of empire rights. Once you get past the ridiculous story. This is a fine example. DEPALMA's lush overkill style as surly has a redeeming threat of silly sick humor, a game that not just rob Paulsen. There's some funny parts and body double from Paul Attanasio Washington. Post Brian Depalma at the zenith of his cinematic virtuosity Joe. You've seen this years ago. Do you remember anything about body double? I remember an overall liking it. Because I was just trying to expand my Brian depalma catalog. And hearing your review now I can totally see how it would be. Kinda dated in twenty twenty. My question to you is winter. We should do this in the coming weeks. But when are we going to do the Brian Depalma? Mount Rushmore. That's a great call. You know what I'm going to have to find out. We're blow to streaming because I owed that to you so once I find out where that is. I'm going to watch that video. Brian. Depaul Mount Rushmore. That is a great idea because we're definitely firing through all these classes right now i. like it good idea. That is when it comes to the reviews coming up next, we'll take a quick break. We'll come back with entertainment news including social activism in the wake of George Floyd's passing interview Katie filmmaker Christian sparks. He's gonNA terrific would be called hammer which is out this Friday. To be solid is to be complicit. Black Lives Matter Netflix showing that on social media on Saturday other streaming services studios following suit so netflix standing assault dirty with nationwide protests over the death of George on Saturday sharing on social accounts, the duty to our black members, employees squares Tau speak up to be silent as to be complicit. Black lives matter filmmaker. Eva duvalier applauded netflix's for his poche writing well done actress Sarah Paulson read Netflix's message. Writing Silences unacceptable on Netflix's message was shared across several. The streamer series accounts clean never. Have I ever and unbreakable. Kimmy Schmidt last Saturday evening, Amazon prime joining Netflix's and support a black lives matter. Today go together. We stay on the black community and all allies in the fight against racism and injustice. The Jeff bezos founded streamers share across its instagram and twitter and Disney Old Hulu tweeted. We support black lives, today and every day. You are seeing your heard. We are with you. Hbo Hbo Max Writing Now. Their loved nor tear makes on blind indifference makes one blind at very powerful quote from James Baldwin Stars also issued a tweet. CBS Pop. Warner Brothers TV and eight twenty four. We have been silent. Silent is on option, fx CBS Fox, also tweeting condemning racism and discrimination. Clearly, this is something which is affecting all of America including the entertainment industry in terms of other entertainment news. Succession Director. That's right tavern Adam McKay producer trae thriller, the Menu Mark, my laud whose name I got used to seeing after binge-watching succession is one of the directors behind succession. He's going to direct. This film called the Menu Adam occasion, an executive, producer and director sometimes success. He's GonNa Produce this project about the world of his centric culinary culture. The film follows a couple of visit exclusive restaurant on a remote and Alexander. Payne was previously attached direct Emma stone previous in talks to star so good to see succession at least their tentacles, branching out a little further in terms of their director all right now it's time speaking directors. Our special guests Christian sparks. Real pleasure, welcome in here to sin a filed Christian sparks terrifically. It's all hammer and of course I'm going to have month because he's Canadian, but more importantly, the film is actually terrific. You'd be a little bit of background on him. It's Christians. Second feature are making cast no shadow previously as well as a few other shorts and other TV projects originally premiere the Whistler Film Festival last year and Vertical Entertainment, I believe is. Is Releasing this film directive, Yo destroying this. Friday June fifth once the movie is called Hammer Christian. Thanks so much for joining us today Dan Sinophile Buzzer man. Thanks for having me terrific movie. It's interesting when I watch these kind of stories, father and son, of course at one point I was a son, so I watched it thinking I was the young man who's in a heap of trouble and then I watch it. Thinking of the father, because now I've got kids of my own and first and foremost father son stories to me always are. impactful, but particularly in this setting. This is a lean tot. Seventy six minute crime thriller hit the ground running. There's no need for a backstory. And all this kid's gone through some troubles which we allude to it ties. Even you kind of get a feel of them the smell of a backstory but I like that you. You dispense with that. You didn't need to get into this whole. You know thirty minutes it. Whereas life was hit the ground running here, we go. What made you feel like? That was where the story should begin the moment of impact right away. It's hard to say I mean it definitely wasn't my original intention like I knew I wanted to do a crime thriller, but I was Kinda, originally inspired by films more like kind of in the bedroom or those kind of mid. Kind of dramatic films lean more on the drama than the the kind of crime aspect. But as always you kinda start in place for the story kind of takes on a life of its own. Once you put pen to paper and Once I came up with that kind of opening piece I knew I wanted to open with like like a fairly dramatic real time piece, and it just had its own momentum, and once I wrote that an it felt good I just Kinda I just kept going yeah to give people an. An indication while referring to quiet border town, Stephen Davis by WILF patent, waiting at a stoplight when his estranged son speeds passing a dirt bike, Marco is Dad sees him go by tracking him down. Stephen discovers that Chris is on the run from botched drug deal. He agrees to help them in an attempt to mend. The relationship and things quickly spiraled out of control. I messed it up. We'll pat and plays a dad Stephen. Davis has son Chris Mark Brian. Go sprawling out of control. A friend of Chris's goes missing. There's a vengeful drug dealer and away we go you mentioned in the bedroom great films. This is basic Tom. Walker, and you're right those kinds of movies. I don't get made enough dealing with those kind of. A CHAMBERMAID DRAMAS, so to speak ordinary people that kind of stuff and you deal with this whole father son Dynamic and what's going on within like you said the elements of a crime thriller, so what was the genesis far beyond in the bedroom or something that you felt like you wanted to explore when it comes to father, son, dynamics and trying to deal with your past. Yeah absolutely well. It's actually very very loosely based on a relationship between my father and my brother. I had an older brother who actually got me into movies when I was younger, God bless him, and he moved out West, when he was, you know early twenties and got involved in crime out there and He was always really close with my family, and my parents and I think they always kind of knew what he was doing, but they never fully admitted it to him or to themselves. Because you know that's what we do with family and the people that we love, so I was really interested in that idea that you know the little secrets that we tell ourselves to protect the ones we love. How ultimately can result in kind of heinous crime so I use that as a springboard that emotional kind of cord to attach it to some kind of more pulpy crime turtle elements. Elements of films that I liked and yeah, that's where we end up. I love that it has a really personal slant to it. I'm sure that was challenging to go through seeing your brother and your father dynamics, but part of what I also found really interesting is that you know everything is minute by minute meaning you know, everybody has had a situation of crisis, and you realize that everything is dependent on your next action, and so the father's reaction, won't. He says we'RE GONNA. Call the COPS. That is the most logical instance in which to do, so call the cops. ETC But the way that the kid is going through. It's so systematic. I gotTa Take Care of this I that I'll save my brother than get the money that we'll get the girl. We're GONNA. Go find her. It's literally a step-by-step, and that is the way I don't know if your brother specifically. You found his thinking, but I have found whenever reading about criminals. Criminals Anybody who's been in trouble. You're literally just kind of hate. Let me get to the next step right. Let me just by fiber minutes by ten minutes. I'm going to fix this. I'm going to solve this. It's okay, and in fact you really nailed that perspective really well. How were you able to do that? Specifically in the screenwriting process well I was just going to say that I was part of it is obviously the actor Mark O'Brien just thrives on that kind of like rapid talking he's. Kind of rapid talking persona, but he's a very likable person, and you need to cast someone who's innately kind of likable to pull this off like if you have a character, who, even if their physical appearance are the way they talk are kind of irritating or just untrustworthy. Then you're kinda dead in the water. You know, but at the same time I mean I guess in the screen writing process. You know we're able to manipulate the people. We love more than most other people in life because you know. The fact that they love us to begin with is what we can use our advantage when we need to, and you don't always want to, but in the in the case of the film I mean the The sun is kind of forced to do that because. Everyone! You know in all these crimes. You always think. If you just do one more thing, you can save yourself without having to get. The police involved without anyone getting hurt and you keep pushing your luck. Because people I think are just really selfish. You know, but I in this film I certainly comes at a cost at the end. Completely agree and the likability of the character Chris was played by Mark O'Brien once again. We're talking hammer directive starting this Friday June fifth. Tell me a little bit about well. Pat and he's been in a lot of Hollywood projects over the years I thought he really lent to strong Arab, authenticity and Gravitas to the role of a father willing to do anything for his son absolutely lied, always been a big fan of will patent growing up I am. I mean. You'll probably remember this you know. I used to tape movies under VHS off my television when I was a boy. And and Kinda catalogue them in a little like he'll Roy binder that I had and we'll pat was always I I had a copy of no way out that I filmed off the TV when I was like ten. And we'll pass. So great in that film, and I liked him when I was a little boy, and obviously tracked his career, growing up through things like armageddon or remember the titans, and so I kind of needed someone in the father role who could be stern and you know who you believe had the physicality and the will to do some kind of heinous. Criminal activity that was required to protect the sun, but at the same time someone who had a could be sympathetic and how to humanity to them that you could relate to without being too much of a superhero type for like you know what Dwayne Johnson our our show. Arnold Schwarzenegger just like Kick Ass Kinda Dad. That's not the kind of tone. We want it. So when he was recommended it seemed like the perfect fit, and I ended up chatting with them, and the rest is history. I agree about the physicality specifically, because you're right, it's one thing to be able to play the compassion along with the disciplinarian, but can you actually handle himself? In a couple of scenes drew critical in the movie. I think he. I can buy it. Because I can I can see this guy being able to handle himself in a tough situation. How tough is it right now? Even making movies Christian, I'm talking about covid nineteen. I'm talking about the market in which we live you. You as I film lovers. I'm sure you dreamed of being a movie director. We've seen with movies and I've talked a lot of filmmakers about this that you know. The markets become shrunk now la those indie movies that you and I probably love the ninety s have now shifted towards television specifically streaming and Jerry. Jenkins told me said now it's either one hundred billion dollars. Superhero movie are a million bucks. He made like moonlight. Have you been able to navigate the film landscape? Well I mean you know. What very sad I mean everyone kind of knows that like the middle ground movies. You know the twenty to thirty million dollar movies very difficult to make It's different for me like I'm from a small island on the Far East Coast of Canada phone call. Newfoundland you know and and then Kinda? There's a funding system funding body called telephone Canada supported by the government as long as. As regional funding from the island I live on that. You know if you WanNa make a movie. That's anywhere between eight, hundred, grand and two million. You can kind of you can do that with those funding entities along with just a broadcast license, so if you WanNa work small in that kind of scale than the opportunities are actually available, and they're pretty good in Canada But I mean making a film is only the beginning you know getting people to see is the really challenging part and you know with never-ending kind of void of content that exists in the world today between Netflixing I tunes, and all these things and mean God. Love them, but It's hard not to feel like they're throwing a A penny to evacuate sometimes. Yeah to your point I feel like it's never been a better time for content creators, because there's so many people who are looking for content at the same time as you said, it's an incredible challenge, because you get sucked up into the vortex of so much competition, you know. How do you kind of fight scrap? So let's make sure everybody. Where do you find hammer Friday June fifth? Where can people watch this terrific movie? So it's to be on a bunch of online platforms. It's on Amazon Apple TV. Tunes of Voodoo amongst amongst others. I definitely want people to check out hammer, and to get a sense of you. Mentioned Newfoundland I was born in Toronto grew up in Kingston lived in Napa for a little bit of time, so I've never actually seen the great folks of Newfoundland I hear great things about George Street been in Nova Scotia, of course. Tell me about Newfoundland listen. I'M NOT GONNA. Go with all the unfortunate jokes. Derided it to find folks of Newfoundland, which in the candidates make fun of but I know. Listen great fishing I'm sure and very warm friendly people always like growing up in Newfoundland. Was Amazing I mean you know any any kind of a small town? Close Knit community very kinda rugged coastlines. Obviously, it's a it's a province that was built around the fishery You know the fishery is since kind of gone by the wayside, so they've turned to other sectors like oil and gas and natural resources, so you know the provinces doing fairly well right now, but in general like you say I mean the tourism commercials, many of which I've made in the past I kind of a world class. Anyone who who's incidents single move land like this Google Newfoundland I'm ads on Youtube and and you'll get a good sense. Like I said I, my cousins used to live in Halifax Been Atro-, I've been to P.. Is it kid I went one of the huge road trip with? Family friends. I've never gotten into new. Brunswick or Newfoundland so definitely on my list of checking off the maritime provinces, lastly our you dealing right now with Kobe, nine, thousand, nine, hundred. This unprecedented I've obviously checking with family and Canada and the numbers are significantly down there I think prime issue does an excellent job of trying to mitigate a disaster was social distancing Sarah. Have you found it specifically for yourself and and trying to get movies mayor you just writing a bunch of scripts these days. I am indeed actually moved to Toronto early in this year in Toronto right now in kind of like in the less Louisville area which I'm sure you probably know. I. It's It's tough I. Mean for a lot of artists like myself. Honestly not a whole lot as chains like I've been very productive I tend to work from home, editing or writing anyway, so you know I've already kind of like. finished writing script which I think I have. It's looking likely that we will get funding for to shoot at the end of this year early next as long as everything goes ahead, that's an adaptation of a novel and I'm I'm writing another film on my own, which is almost done so You know you feel everybody out there and you want to be careful but work wise. Wise. It's It's been pretty good. That's awesome. Christians sparks a real pleasure, child and Sinophile once again, folks check movie. It's called Hammer Amazon. Apple Voodoo variety of place. You can get this Friday. Terrific crime thriller, and also a father and son story really appreciate the time today. Man, stay safe. Leslie Terrific Area by the way I, I know it very well i. have a close friend actually lives with the housing by the way we can discuss the housing market another time in Toronto. I've been gone for ten years I'm sure you're move early. This year has been rather expensive going from Newfoundland Toronto it has it has it's? Ridiculous pure greed, but that's a whole other full of the conversations. Thanks for I think. Madam really enjoy chat with Ya. My Pleasure Ben Take your take. Rushmore. In honor of Mindy killing, it's time now for a Mount Rushmore. This is a female comedians. There's certainly a lot of great wants to get to guy you look at this list overall. It's hard to go especially when you're cutting across so many different. I'M GONNA KNOCK UP Madeline Kahn. Right out of the gate because she's so great and a couple of Great Mel. Brooks, comedies, blazing saddles and young Frankenstein just the site of Madeline Kahn start laughing immediately. This one is non smoking reachable. Listen Julia Louis Dreyfuss tremendous. Okay, Seinfeld Adventures of old Christine. Obviously, veep in the factories went so many Emmy Awards I. Mean It's ridiculous. How many times he's been honored, so there's a couple of for you right out of the gate. I thought about Amy Schumer Amy Poehler. Legends Division certainly I can include the likes of Carol. Burnett and Lucille Ball. I personally am not a huge fan of Whoopi. Goldberg here's an interesting. Some of these other comedians like Whitney Cummings g get in the mix like that. Melissa McCarthy is obviously very funny. But instead I'm going to Lisa. Lamp Nellie because I find her roast absolute tremendous. I want to get at least one female stand up comic and she's I. Think absolutely outrageously funny. I'M GONNA go with one more, which is Kate McKinnon and the Knicks he's got a lot of talent and I don't know how much stand she's done. She's very diverse comedic presence. So my Mel Rushmore Female Comedians Madeline Kahn Julia Louis Dreyfuss Lisa Olympian Aly in Kate McKinnon the one that was hesitating Janine. Garoppolo because I love her. Her in the Larry Sanders show and she just do some comedy. She has however not been prominent. I feel like about a couple of decades, so maybe a little bit of recency by so they can a little more, but that is a strong Roi mentioned Virginia Garoppolo Joe The floor is yours. They feel like you might go. Maybe the Molly Shannon. It'd be Roseanne where we going. Samantha, what do you got? Oh, boy, will first and foremost I'll get Joan rivers out of the way her influence as a standup. Sixties and how she was able to reinvent her career time and again throughout the decades I will give it to her. I'm also going to go with. Melissa McCarthy because she brings. She has a kind of humor that is just not innate to me. I can't do it, and that's such a physical thrill your body on the line. For type humor whenever she hosts US SNL I look forward to those episodes because I know, she's just going to go for it after that I will do Carol, Burnett? Just from how talented she was in her stage background, where during her life show or during her show, she could change outfits in like thirty seconds for bit. So just versatility there, and then I will go with Lucille Ball again just for her influence not only comedy, but just television format in everything after that just sit. But my honorable bill mentioned will be Alley Wong. The best female comedian stand up right now, and I like people who slug it out in the clubs to build up their career. I've talked about always be maybe a to you. Definitely check that out just for the count reeves appearance, but that's my list. Lucille Ball Joan Rivers Melissa McCarthy and Carol Brunette good mix of the old and the new. Volley long listened Lucille Ball issue number eating chocolates working the chocolate factory. I Love Lucy's great comedic scenes of all time surprise. You didn't go with Sarah Silverman. Who had? Waned a little bit in terms of popularity, but also very funny and also loved her in the Larry, Sanders show a couple more inches your catherine. O'Hara who is a Canadian treasure and Jane Lynch. Who Very funny, always stiller performances, lots of great female comics out there now it's time for total recall. Total recall. We're revisiting the two thousand. Seventeen Oscars the film from two thousand six. When Martin Score says he finally got his do and one his first Academy Award. It's also in the departed won best picture, but should it have? Greg King was the producer who was nominated that you're Joe. BABBLE. Letters from Eugenia. Little Miss Sunshine and the Queen I said this before, but the department I mean I like it. I like it a lot. I just don't think it's one of the skirt says he's top finals one of his top seven, but he was clearly overdue at. It's an entertaining crime thriller. Even if Jack Nicholson is maybe a little bit over the top, but I think Leo's terrific. Matt Odyssey Walberg Martin. Sheen I enjoyed the twisty plot mechanics. Express directed it with a lot of energy and urgency, last shots and little tongue in cheek for me, but it wasn't a strong year for movies. I'll be honest letters from Iwo Jima as an underrated Clint Eastwood Film. Tiber recently tweeted the great phone crew Boston. What are the four best Clint Eastwood directed movies? You did a poll on twitter and included letters from Iwojima, which always thrilled he did because it doesn't get nearly enough. Doing I'm glad it was me for best picture. It is a great film. Spielberg actually produced it all clint. Eastwood Babble I just found very heavy. The Queen was again pretty piece stately I wasn't. Wasn't blown bite of this list. My number two would be little Miss Sancho, which I think is a really funny, smart, sweet movie very watchable, but instead if you ask me these five I, do think the depart is the best one followed by Little Miss Sunshine letters from you so I will go with the department, but I don't think this is a strong ear Joe. Unlike total recall we did last week. Yeah one hundred percent. I mean I. Guess I would go with Little Miss Sunshine just because. I like lighter comedic movies I. Don't think they get as much recognition though I do love the depart to but Adnan. We'll talk about this as we get further down at the nominations, but I don't know how I would put pan's labyrinth in there for best picture and children of men, both came out this year, and both of them are not. Nominated for best picture while a great point watched Pan's labyrinth again after I watch shape water for the second year, I watched pans labyrinth again, and I liked to the time and I watched it again God. Are you kidding? How did that movie not get your Best Picture? You couldn't be more right I mean. That is so original. It's so Guillermo del Toro which. which is to say, it is both grotesque and disturbing, strange and just weird, but it's also very sweet. I, mean I believe my cousin? I think it's actually a metaphor for child abuse, which is amazing the way he was able to do, it couldn't agree more on that and children and men all my gut RT thorn my dear friend great director. Check series and chiller men's one of his all time favorite movies. I mean it just directing wise alone. Look at the tracking shots I'll phone calls off in that movie, Dystopia and thriller. You're right, wasn't omission how to both those knocking for best picture? Wow, all right best director whisker he lies. It just said it's not as best movie, but for God's sakes. You should have won five best directors by now. So of course he to win an Oscar. Who else was up against? Alejandro India do babble Clint Eastwood for letters from Era Jemma Stephen Frears for the Queen and Paul Greengrass for United Ninety. Three as the great been lines went, said about silence, which is one of my favorite movies. He said it joins the list of movies like United, Ninety, three, which are great movies, which I have no intention of ever seeing again I've never seen it on. On Ninety three again, but at one time in a vacuum, incredibly particularly the last ten minutes God, that's the passengers just surging towards the cockpit is absolutely gripping well-directed. By greengrass, of course, it's Mardi if I to go the number two I probably go with clint because like I said letters, or doesn't get nearly enough to yeah, and we'll go with Martin Scorsese for the departed. Best actor was forest whittaker the last king of Scotland. Who Else was nominated? Leonardo DiCaprio for blood diamond ring, Gosling for half Nelson Peter O'Toole for Venus Will Smith for the pursuit of happiness. What a week! Category and Peter Tools basically just play Peter O'Toole and Venus, guy in love with a young girl. We'll zapping present. Happiness at thought was awfully hokey. Leo and bloodless. Leo I don't even think that's one of his best performances. I didn't let that his accent was in, and out was a little bit forced force. Whitaker's deathly good as a villainous character I mean, but I'd go with Brian costly man as A. Teacher battling drug addiction, I thought he was charming, and yet heartbreak at the same time. Well Direct Think Ryan fleck directed it I with Gosling for half Nelson, united never seen half Nelson and I'll have to check it out, but I'm looking over this list to you. And I guess I would go with forest whitaker, but really I would wanNA. Pick Clive Owen. Owen for children of men for this picture and I'm surprised that he didn't get nominated for this as well. Yeah, this is a brutal nomination year by the academy. You're right, best actress Helen Mirren I feel like that was an easy one for the Queen. Who Else was nominated Penelope Cruz for Vlad. Judi dench for notes on a scandal Meryl Streep the devil. Devil wears product and Kate winslet little children nominees alone best actress much stronger than best actor like Helen Mirren as I mentioned, is the the picture stately precision in the Queen? Vaires Almodovar's film which is excellent crews always greatness movies notes an escape. Those surprisingly funny I had no interest in watching it and I saw Judi. DENCH is amazing. Gosh, she's conning and. And she's mean-spirited. That's a really underrated movie. Meryl Streep Devil Wears Prada Again I. don't care what the fashion industry, but the way that she just says that's all I mean the white hair, and then that is great role from Merrill and little children. I probably vote for Kate winslet to be honest with you. A little children is a really dark movie. It's about a child molester. We're GONNA. Talk with Jackie hailing a second who comes at a prison and about Kate winslet, having their fair. With a guy I forget his name but. Whatever his name is a. he's really good in the movie little children. That's that's a that's a very strong category. I either go penelope Cruz Kate winslet I'll go the flip. Flip the coin. I'll go. Kate Wisdom Little Children Joe. All right I guess. I hadn't seen Voltaire, so I can't flip the same coin since you went Winslett go. Meryl Streep for the Devil Wears Prada a lot a lot of people I. Know Still. That's one in her first roles that come to mind when they think of her so I'll go with her for that. Yeah I mean it wasn't it. Wasn't Merrill million in certainly, if anybody who knows the fashion, industry and hot couture and Anna wintour. Apparently, she just absolutely nailed it best supporting actress speaking nail. How funny is Alan Arkin Little Miss Sunshine he won his First Academy Award is Edwin. Hoover. Who Else was nominated Jackie Earle Haley for little children Jay Monahan sue for Blood Diamond Eddie Murphy for dreamgirls and Mark Wahlberg for the departed. While it was supposed to be Murphy, he'd won a lot of critics awards going into it, and then of sudden everyone's saw posters for Norton. You'RE GONNA. Get this guy in Oscar into Allen. ORCAS surprisingly one. Screen a little. Miss Sunshine that's what was surprise, but he's certainly unforgettable especially if he's giving advice to his nephew, but how to live his life. Jackie Earle Haley Mesmerizing. A little children got playing Chaba Lester coming into prison, certainly grown up from is working bad news bears. Eddie Murphy. Listen if you want to go career cheap and certainly earns an Oscar deserves it, but I'll go with Mark Wahlberg as Sergeant Dingman, if departs going to win best picture then I think well, the actress should get recognized Walberg was the only actor nominated and rightfully, so he was tremendous in the departed the way he's belittling. Leo, simulates a fart noise. What's wrong, don't you Shakespeare God Walberg CD goes head-to-head without. Good. He nails that that rule down to a T. I've one hundred percent agree. He's so good in that movie. I personally will go with Murph. dreamgirls just because him and Norbert coming out to take his chances at the. Oscar is still used as an example today. I remember people making that. Compare with Jennifer. Lopez, just for this last Oscar, award. So I'll give it to Eddie Murphy dreamgirls best supporting actress Jennifer Hudson great voice in dreamgirls and dreamgirls by the way. I'm not crazy about musicals as As you know, but she's terrific in that movie, a lot of great music and there no surprise because she's a singer, but she wanted an Oscar who else was dominant at Brianna Baraza for Babble Cate Blanchett for notes on a scandal. Abigail Breslin Little Miss Sunshine and Rinco Coochie for babble again. I just mentioned notes really funny. Cate Blanchett's terrific especially when she's being stalked and victimized by Judy dench I mean it's very troubling movie and yet very light on its touch I like chow performance they don't. Don't get enough recognition. Abigail Breslau glad she got nominated. I'm going to go though with the caddy. Actually Jennifer Hudson. Deserve the Oscar but I feel like Joe Michael Breslin. He's probably right. Yeah, I will go with Abigail Breslin to her performances. Great in that I can't imagine another child actor in that role. The Jennifer Hudson is amazing dreamgirls. I love that movie to actually, but I'll go with abigail original screenplays, a tough one little Miss Sunshine Michael Arndt probably the right decision, but again Paul Haggis I. I loved great. Canadian writer Cole wrote letters from Iwo. Jima which is an amazing script I. Keep talking about should explain it a little bit. You haven't seen it. It's world. War Two from the Japanese perspective, so Clinton Flags, our fathers, which was from the American perspective, they letters Jima. I thought that was much more poignant because he showed the Japanese side of things and the see whether committing mass suicide. It's incredible, little bit sunshine. One Who else was nominee babble geared more ariaca letters from Iraq. Iris Yamashita and Paul Haggis Pan's labyrinth Guillermo del Toro and the Queen by Peter Morgan so I think little, Miss Sunshine is the right choice. Michael aren't, but God. Is Joe mentioned earlier. HOW THE HELL! The Pants Labra Thakin nominated for best picture. Maybe I should have won for this. He got his do a sheep water, but service. If you haven't seen pans and labyrinth, do so immediately. One hundred percent agree, and that's who I will go to just for your point earlier. It's highly original and so cool and gross, but very touching at times I love that movie definitely Pan's labyrinth for me and the last one was best adapted screenplay Bill Monahan one based on the film. Infernal Affairs was a remake what else was nominated Borat cultural learnings of America for make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhstan. Children of men. Little children and notes on a scandal that's interesting and you mentioned how the best picture nomination kind of weak, and it was a week year for movies, but those were probably my five favorite movies of the year I mean we're best screenplay. Children are men tremendous little children, amazing notes. Scandal discussed the department I. Think was the Best Picture and Borat is like one of the funniest movies of the decade. I'm so happy. It got nominee. I totally forgotten that. Everyone's going to say we bore I should have won. Listen I'M GONNA, go with Monahan for the departed, because it's so twisted, but honestly Joe when a great world this would be a Borat actually wanted Academy Award Oh. One hundred percent I wanna go with children of men so badly, but I'm GONNA have to go with Bora just because? Also, could you imagine that speech that Sasha Baron Cohen would have gave into? It would have been one of the such a memorable speech at the Oscars that year. In character that's is at five would have been. Thanks so much for listening I appreciate all of you, please go and subscribe rate and and Apple. podcasts spread the word over. The numbers are up after I am flame, Ozark and thanks of course to filmmaker Christopher Phelps. Go check a hammer which is. Next week! We're going talk about Romney, which is currently available on Hulu. I reviewed season one now I'm GONNA of season, two, and two weeks from now get ready Spike Lee's film on Netflix, sitting June, twelfth called the five leads, and also review jut appetizers new movie starring Davidson. That's the King of Staten, island which is coming out Vod June twelve until then I'll see you at the movies.

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Neeta Sreekanth  Sports Media Maven and her incredible journey working at the Dallas Cowboys, ESPN, IGN, and INFLCR

South Asian Stories

1:25:18 hr | 8 months ago

Neeta Sreekanth Sports Media Maven and her incredible journey working at the Dallas Cowboys, ESPN, IGN, and INFLCR

"Find what you're passionate about. Do that do it. In a way that helps the people around you understand that this is more important to you than anything else for me. It was sports. Hello and welcome back to south asian stories where we hear from south asians around the world and then cover their identities successes failures and most importantly stories. I'm your host samir desai in this episode. I chat with shrikant. Nathe is a sports media maven and has had the incredible journey through some of the most iconic companies nathan got her start in the digital and social media world at the dallas cowboys. She then transitioned to espn working their social media department as an associate producer and manager for a little over four years. There she helped espn maintain a number one ranking in sports social media engagement during her entire tenure her experiences in social media brought her to is in entertainment as the director of content and strategy during your time at aegean need to transform them into a global leader in social media engagement with a focus on video games entertainment of pop culture overseeing relationship with social platforms spearheading content partnerships within the company and drove social content strategy around key events such as e. three san diego comic con new york comic con and south by south west neath shree kant was currently hired as chief operating officer as influence her in october. Two thousand nine hundred nineteen she currently oversees the the company's marketing partnerships emerging strategy innovation and athlete network teams while building influencers brand as a leading social media content delivery platform for sports in this conversation. We discuss how need the spirit at some of the biggest social media moments for the dallas cowboys including ashtec finished the fight early in her career. How asking the right questions is so critical for capturing the right content. She shares an amazing story with tom. Holland and spiderman. Where and how needs social media is headed and how to continue entertaining your audience. Nita is a social media. Trailblazer henner stories are just killer. So without further ado please enjoy my in-depth conversation with nita. Shree kant nathe south asian stories. Were excited to have you. Thanks summer happy be here. How's it going on the sunday morning. It's a wonderful sunday morning excited to get past some of the stuff that we've been dealing with and fired up about what's to come. I know i feel like as you guys heard in the the bio anita is In the sports world in in this global pandemic things are a little different than what you expect. So we'll definitely touch on that but right now. She's she's ready to go in in Oregon jersey and ready to talk about all things sports social media and the like. But let's let's get back to the beginning nita and talk about your childhood. Tell us where you grew up how you grew up. And you know how south asian array are or indian was was your household organized. Arlington texas Mom is from bangalore. That is from hyderabad They got married in my. My dad actually moved out here for For college at ut arlington Brought his entire family out here got married moved out here it raise myself and my brother who all keel You know it was a it was a like. Many people was a battle between living in america and trying to keep as much of the indian roots as possible. We you know. Every weekend we would go to someone's house for a budget and you would have Some home cooked meals and stuff like that at the same time. I was struggling with the motivation to play. Sports and with my friends and my brother was motivated by similar things on his end so we were always battling the culture of america versus the culture of india or my parents. Frankly struggled on how to adapt to it because it was it was a new world for them so when i was raised how has raised with the push to try and stay as true to the indian runs as possible in here. I have so growing up. What kind of sports are you playing all sorts or focusing on one or two so actually. I grew up playing soccer. I was a stud playing soccer. I don't boast for myself much. But i was. I was really goes on one of the best teams club soccer wise. I was destined to be great. I also play tennis My my dad. Mom actually like a lot of athletic activity tennis soccer baseball softball basketball. I was doing everything. Yeah yeah and so when you got done with high school. How did you choose where to go to college. Was it on. Did you want to follow your passion for sports soccer tennis. Or you're okay i want. I wanna follow somebody academic related or was it a combination that too because i feel many times we talked to. You know south asians. They're pulled from both directions. They have a passion for x. but their parents are like. Hey we want you to why because it's better for you better for your career. Did you have that tension at all. I did have some of that tension Actually i was mostly voted motivated about getting away from texas college and it wasn't because i wanted to get away from my family. I just knew that for me to grow as a human being. I needed to get away from what was close and get out and do something a little bit scary so i started out. I went to oregon. Because i wanted to get away from something that was completely different from texas and completely different. The safety net. That i had was that push pull relationship between academics in in in sports but at the same time it really was motivating me was. I wanted to go out in push myself to eliminate and be on my own. that's awesome. Tell us about your experience at oregon while it was only worked for about a year and a half. Actually i went there. I initially started on on the basketball team. You know had some health issues that forced to leave after that. Because i i got depressed with the weather being what was there especially a texas girl right with all sunshine. I had a great time. They're actually went back in spoke there. Few years ago to the to the classes on the professors that i was i was with my experience at oregon was great. It was the first time for me to be out of my own. It was the first time for me to understand like a different mentality of of how people grew up in a different of the region. There was also my first experience with like nature. I never seen such beautiful landscapes in my entire life. Sure the talent of texas right flags but most importantly it was my first experience with an enthusiastic fan base for something that wasn't the dallas cowboys and so understanding. How people rallied around a college town of eugene and were rallying around the mighty oregon ducks the way that they were just. I still wear oregon year. Because i'll never forget those those memories that i had there about how how much fun. It was to wake up on a saturday morning and go out to a tailgate. And then get out to outs and stadium. Go go go watch. Watch the football team. Play for sure for sure. That's an experience and so you spent a year and a half at organ what took where. Where'd you go next. I went down to los angeles where i went to cal. State university northridge Part of big west division one program. They initially had recruited me out of high school But i turned it down. Because i was getting better opportunity. Obviously but i went out there because also wanting to refresh start. I need to get back. Healthy I wanna restart my career but also I wanted to figure out a place. That was going to be the next step for me beyond basketball. Because i knew at the time when i was leaving oregon basketball was not going to be my professional future. I need to start thinking about what was going to be next for my career. And i took the bet that going down in los angeles. There's a lot of opportunity. There's be a lot of you know side. Hustles that i could do beyond sports beyond school was probably gonna be the best place for me so i took that chance that i made that move primarily because it was the epicenter of where i wanted to be entertained. content. You're at the hub. I wonder i wanna ask you this. You got a basketball scholarship but you said you were really good at soccer and tennis. How did that happen. Maybe i missed that. I actually had knee surgery. Whenever i was in ninth grade high knees which when i got into high school i was. I made a varsity my freshman year of soccer. But i said surgery and when you have surgery at such a young age you start to lose Especially on a sport like soccer. You start to lose some some speed. And i started after that i just started a slower and slower and slower and said i can't keep up with this. I gotta go to move basketball. Which is it's not about. How fast basketball. And luckily at the time. I was crazy. I was about five seven heading into high school. Wow when i left highschool. I'm six two now so got a little bit of growth spurt. The magic touch of the of the a the blade on my knee or something. But i just all of a sudden just shut up. That's funny okay. So going back to your transition to la man you were in the big city. Tell us what the highlights and lowlights living in la was an. I'm curious no like the side hustles. You were talking about. What did you get into. Outside of school The highlights you're los angeles You know the people you need the things that you do the bars that you can get into people. I i still live in l. A. and i am very close with my college friends and we all the time we pop open a drink. We're always thinking my gosh remember. Remember this remember that and it starts getting stories like one time we went to We went to hollywood. After artists season ending banquet and i was driving We had all turned twenty. One and two teammates just got incredibly intoxicated and long story short. I was carrying them off the side streets because they were just they were just belligerent. And i bring that up because like that kind of what. La is elliot's like you. Can you can go out and how much fun and get out of control as you can. But the people that that make themselves better in that city on the ones you take advantage of the side hustles. Which for me was. I was not only playing basketball. I was not only going to school full time. But i was also doing internships. My first internship. When i was there was with the los angeles lakers where i was really an operations in. Turn an focuses on operations turn was basically whatever they asked me to do. What's right making. Vip tickets from the players Communication pr rep out to the ticket office box or was it you know. Hey we were short on the event marketing staff. Can you please help out with coordinating You know what. The halftime entertainment show is getting logistics the performer from the green room out to where they need to be positioned or it was. The doors are opening. And were of. You know brochures. Can you please take some of these brochures up to the to the people that are heading out the ushers so i was basically doing whatever they asked me to do and i do that in the two thousand nine year when they last won the nba championship. That was my my job or base my my hustle the entire year and i say side hustle because it it essentially like you can you can print on your current in two ways you can get. You can be money motivated or you could be just like experience motivated and my side. Hustle hasn't always has been about experience. Not about the money up until now and so. I did that first. And then i transitioned into my senior year which. My senior year was primarily focused on. Okay i know this my last year in college. I have no plans to go back to school anytime soon. I'm done with what's next for me. So i my last my last hustle there was with cbs and which was basically a a media relations. Pr intern on those around. The time that twitter started to become really popular Was in two thousand nine. Two thousand ten so. I became an intern for cbs entertainment. Cbs television for their prime time. Tv shows Two and a half men hammett your mother amazing race survivor or my job was pretty much to go. Be at a table. Reads to be with the talent whenever they were getting interviewed by media anytime they were shooting slough. My first week on the job as an intern was the same week that charlie sheen started to act a fool god and so a mutt. My my job that first week was. Hey welcome. Can you please transcribe everything that he says in the media for us so i was literally on a computer. My first week as an intern. Just transcribing everything he was doing and saying the media Those shit that he would say it was crazy. The craziest was he actually did this. Tmz lives where he He was live from his. He was live from his house with harvey and what he was doing. A porn stars with the background. And i literally had to transcribe. Cornstarch was too. Because i wanted to know who the information was it was it was crazy. Yeah it was like. How do i put this on my resume as a bullet right. That's cry charlie sheen and his porn stars. That's okay so you graduated. And i love that. You're like i love that. The line you said is being money motive versus experienced mardi. Because i feel a lot of people in our community thaw our money motivated like. There's no there's no like question about where we focus on the money we choose careers that have money posing traditional career paths but being experienced martin. It is something that is far richer. And i think that's the long game it can. You're building the building blocks of your current career. Starting way back in college which things incredible. So how do you think you develop that mindset just going through or did you look at retroactively of like oh this is how i thought about it all the time or was it something that you just automatically if you were Let's have been trained into me from my parents My dad my dad He was just always like. Don't worry about money. Don't worry about what he don't worry about money. Lungs you're working hard like money will come. The money will come. And i always had that mentality served. I just bust my ass and work my ass off like at some point. I'm gonna make that transition to something else always worked out in my favor that i just never growing up. I never about money. I never was money motivated. I do. I just never was never was that they for me like. I'm thankful that my my my dad and my mom like gave us a very comfortable living growing up. And you know i i realize how grateful i am for the for the for the youth experience that i had compared to what a lot of people are going through right now sure and so i just i just felt That it would be a shame. If i were to waste the opportunity that was given by being motivated by something that my that probably wasn't going to be held on term. That's awesome. I love that okay. So graduated From from college. Have a few gray rates under your belt. What what did you do next. Where does that take you Timing was great. i was Finishing up school in the summer of two thousand eleven right around the time the epic dallas mavericks made their run. That's right. I didn't get you own. A balkan for the dallas mavericks growing up. I was from seventh grade until i graduated high school. I was a ball kid where i would go to. Every single dallas mavericks game and it would rebound for the players before the game. And i would like oh people. Those people that went over the players fall or issue free throws run out with a bop onto. The court is probably. I did that for five. Six seven years six years. Six years six years ended so i was As hard core of the dallas mavericks fan is even during the crop season that they'd had over the past few years I was. I was graduating the same summer. That the dallas mavericks made their run against the lakers. The heat and they won a a championship. Which side note was so fun. Because i was talking so much. Shit to all the lakers fans that were out there. In fact i. I remember going on amazon and buying a bunch of mops and brooms and i would hand handing out to people. They're sweet. yeah exactly four. No maybe we we. We slept them. Yeah and all the lakers fans all they do is talk show. It's all just like hanging amounts of people these brooms and i said. What time is the lakers game tomorrow. Russia so i was. I was graduating in summer. Two thousand eleven around the time that the nfl was in a lockout. They were Renegotiating their cba And so it was perfect timing because there were a lot of people that were furloughed go that moved from the nfl and there was also a hiring freeze for those jobs are not filled so right around. The time that i was getting out of college was the time that the. Nfl was coming to an agreement with the players and they were going to have a season so the essentially the lockout was lifted. Pretty much two weeks before. I was going to officially wasn't officially done until after i graduated. But they knew it was gonna come to i graduate and so the people at the dallas cowboys were looking to fill a couple of roles that they had Vacant so they were reaching out because they needed to higher quickly they reached out to my mentor at the dallas mavericks. Who was my ball. Kid manager jim guy untouched. He put me in touch with One of the hiring managers there and they were looking for someone to come in and focus on their their fan marketing department which is basically. They had a fan club. They had a crm database that was tracking where all the fans were is a very digital crm based job and really my background of content marketing. Essentially right right so it worked out where i was graduating and then i drove whole over weekend and i started my job on monday no way that it was. It was that quick that quick. I did not have a break at all. And that's funny that he came full circle. Nathe that your boss is a ballboy helped you get your first job out of school. Like how crazy is that right. It's crazy. I mean but one of my biggest things. I speak to the kids about whenever they reach out his like network now are the most important thing and it's not about like reaching out on lincolnian or twitter and going to you know. Meet people you don't know it's who do you know how you keep them. Engage in abreast of what you're doing and how you develop more meaningful relationships with them and it comes full circle with every job i've ever received or worked in has been through networking like it's not been going in applying to a job Or putting my resume out two thousand people. Yup it's been by leveraging my network to get to the person that's making me decision or by net by network connecting me to someone who's put me in that position that's it that's it that's awesome. Okay tell us about so. You're twenty two years old. You're on day. One of the dallas cowboys was that day. Like were you nervous excited anxious. All the above i was i was a nervous or anxious. I think it was kind of like a okay. i'm here. let's let's let's go. Yeah that's what it was. It was like a here. We go. Because i mean i had worked for the lakers i had worked for cbs. I had seen things. And so like i think the one thing that maybe would have changed a little is. I was a fan of the cowboys. I my. My dad's a hardcore fan hardcore fan. Like i was a fan. And i was getting to see some shit that no one else has to see. So tell us about that. Let can you share some of the behind the scenes stuff that people be like. Oh wow i didn't know this. Yeah there's there's some stuff i got to go on the road trips but the team Towards the end of my time there last two years. You know we would take the charter plane and you would go into an area of the w. airport that was secluded. And you know just just seeing like after a win. The geyser in the back of the plane you know pop bottles and partying and they also like the cookies that they give on the board like. There's there's a lot of fun things that i can share without giving too much I went to london with the team for a week. That was probably one of the coolest experiences i've ever been. A part of we had dinner is a team. The tower of london Commissioner goodell showed up one of my favorite. I can't find the photo. I've been looking for it for a while now. But there's a photo where iphoto bombed a picture of goodell jerry jones tony romo and dez bryant and i'm at the back just like with this like really bad taste like like walking them pretty much. Yeah i own more. I i used to have. Those are not small people in the cowboys organization. Now well cool. You spent how many years the cowboys two three four and a half years four and a half okay and did your job of all from the fan experience to other responsibilities or yeah. What was the trajectory. Like my job of all twice artsy so initially i was focused on like understanding. Why are fans are and how we monetize them through email marketing. Sms marketing and just direct marketing Wherever they were and then evolved into a content marketing role. So it was. How do we engage our audience because we're shifting away from traditional methods of marketing and we were moving into a more digital friendly future where everyone with a phone is someone that it needs to be engaged with but not engaged with just like a simple add messaging eating gave them a content in what we learned what the cowboys was Or what we knew at the cowboys was we had the accident. We had the leverage of access act. That was one way that put us apart from everyone else is that we were able to walk up to a player at the locker room and say hey is a hotdog sandwich. Yes or no like we were able to have that relationship with them. Some fun content. That wasn't what was your thoughts on the game. Why don't you run that route properly. Right right is dropped up all like we want to be that the cowboys we don't we. We didn't want them the players to see us as part of the entire media. We want them to see us and see okay. They're gonna come. Ask me some fun questions. That are going to be completely different. I'm gonna talk to them. It became work. You know we we had when the cowboys. Three eight. Eight seasons and one twelve and four season And the during the eight seasons it was. Oh my gosh like we had this awful loss. We're not gonna playoffs again. I have to fulfill this obligation. Who am i gonna talk to you. And we became the easy outlet because if they talked to us they fulfill their media obligation right so they would come to us would answer our questions And then they'll be they'll be done right so We were able to develop a relationship during that content marketing way by by talking to the athletes. And and doing fun stuff. So my role evolved away from the more database you know ancient mindset of of creating content are engaging audiences to the new form of technology which was social media. How are we gonna come up with viral content. How are we going to. Leverage our access to these athletes do some viral content. And so that that's kind of how it evolved into. that's cool. Neither is there. A favorite piece of content or piece are pieces of content. That you do the cowboys that you're like wow was really proud of. This is really excited. How this turned out. Yeah the end of my final year there. We were going to the playoffs for the first time and we were. We were good because he was. I remember that season we did this campaign called. Finish the fight. Where we you know the entire year coach garrett had been you know i actually was wearing the shirt the other day where fight fight fight fight fight. He wanted the players to fight for everything for you. Know the ball. That was the entire mantra team despite And when we got to the playoffs he said okay. We need to have some sort of hype video that gets everyone fired up and it was finish the fight and so we created some really cool sizzle reels. The one that ended up going everywhere. Was this piece that we worked on wall while. I can't remember exactly what it was but i always think when i think cowboys and what my job was i always think. Finish the fight And i had a couple of shirts where what is the is the pfizer. The other as we had his own mantra within our digital team called f f f l was hashtag shirt that we had the f. f. o. Fell it was. We said externally. It was finished. I or finish last but really it was fighting for our fucking lives. And that's what that's what we we have the digital team. We're thinking we're fighting for fucking lives because we're we're working. Our butts off to help capture the story of the team with the access that we had that we working ninety hours a week during the season because the team was winning. And we were the most discussed team out on this in the digital landscape is reminded of piece of the cowboys. That's he's one of the peace of the cowboys we knew after three straight eight years this opportunity. And so we were just gonna fight for our fucking lives the entire season and we're going to try and capture and give bringing the fans into the behind the scenes much as possible and if that meant we were working after the after a sunday night game in new york We were working until five. Am on the plane and then we went. Took a forty five minute nap and we were coming in at eight. Am on monday morning and getting ready for thanksgiving game days later working entirely through thanksgiving. We were gonna do that and we did that and so i attribute that finish the fight. Video is like the best thing we've done because we were creating that as we were also doing our regular jobs and getting ready for on what was going to be. What should have been an epic playoff run until dean blandino stepped in. Yeah man that is. That is wild. And i think just the work ethic and passion is flowing out of you which i think is so cool because people can work card people can work their butts off if they feel the the mission that that they're playing there behind and the organization that they're supporting is something that's powerful to them so that is so cool so after that was done Was that your last year at the cowboys. And how did you do next. My last game at the cowboys was the game in green bay we went. I went to green bay with the team in suiting up in that press box seeing dennis catch it. I was literally screaming in the press. Not supposed to we booking caught. It took the train. And we're we're where we had next. I was thinking. I was mapping out on my computer during that challenge because as a catch I knew at the time going into the playoffs that this was going to be my last by last. Go with the cowboys. Because i had been reached out to by espn and on espn was recruiting me to come pretty much do what i was doing with the cowboys to go do it up. There there was a monday night game between the redskins in the cowboys on. Espn in arlington. Where i met a guy named jason romano and we have been keeping in touch throughout that time they have some openings coming up and they pretty much like one of these years. If you want it so i went in. I was like okay. This is gonna be one last hurrah amount. And so i left. I left the dallas cowboys. The nfl end of february twenty and i was with espn and march of two thousand fifteen. I moved from dallas to bristol connecticut. Which is where the headquarters are for. Espn and that was my first time. Officially leaving dallas again after coming back from college. And i went there and i joined their their social media team in my job. There was primarily focused on nfl but because it was an emerging department within espn. I was really tasked with it. Everything when i stepped on to campus at bristol. You know my first week. I'll never forget this. We had rob gronkowski and odell beckham coming on onto campus for a Madden cover shoot. Which were uncover. Play where they were battling to see who is going to be on the cover between the two of them and ended up being adult beckham but it was a fun fun first week and then i also was covering the nba playoffs. I was covering. mlb draft. I was doing everything that dreamed up. It was awesome. I i i look fought so fondly on my time at espn because as a sports fan. I'm like i did everything. I could have wanted to cover their own to the draft. Two weeks to my job at espn. I went to chicago for the first draft outside of new york. I got to be there in the green room and see behind the scenes of what was happening. And i'm just thinking how. How did i get this. Probably a pinch me moment right right. Holy shit like i can't believe i'm here. The pitching moment came when charles haley was screaming my name at the draft. He was just like crazy. One here the cowboys and you saying that to me. He's screaming my name in a room. That's filled with jerry rice John elway was there and like all these guys that are legends in the game. Marshall faulk he charles haley screaming need alec like absurdly screaming. Nina miss small room. No bigger than than the room. I'm in and it was. It was cool to walk in there with with so much. Espn folk and have this all famer screaming my name. it was. It was good for my street. Crowd not gonna live my god. Yeah that's that's a moment. You'll never forget i was. I was spending my time at. Espn initially kind of like going around. Cashing the highlights. I was helping with the sports center. account i was hoping what the espn it like. I was. I was helping out wherever they needed. Need to heading into the fall which was football where i was initially hired primarily focus on. Nfl and take their nfl digital coverage to the next level. And they had me on monday night. Football where i was working directly with jon gruden in my thereto. Gern hates social media. He still does And so i was. I was focused on. Like how do we bring people behind the scenes of a monday night. Football weekly production. So the entire entire three years. That i was there. I was at usps three years before they burned out I spent every monday night in a different city wherever monday night. Football was and that was primarily. My job was so you've probably worked your tail off that grill role and you've got a lot out of it but you say you burnt out because it was just. The pace is so much and was exhausting. yeah it was That final year with the cowboys was working ninety hours a week. That was pretty much. What my entire three years. Espn was and i feel like that yes pin. I'm sorry the last season with the cowboys. Press me for what was to come with. Espn because i was already going in like work shape. Essentially right right. you're ready policies. It ready and i mean i i will say i had my time off at the time. I would have a week off here. There that would get away from one arose like dying. But i had family close by uncle and to my favorite cousin. My aunt were were near ninety minute. Drive away so anytime. I just needed to get away. I would go to their place and crash in. My aunt would just made me some homemade food. Take care of me. It was But unfortunately like i love that. Yes pink pigs so much but it just it got to the point where. I was traveling more than i was even able to be in bristol. Connecticut i was on the road working. I would get one day off a week. Most of the time. It was tuesdays and even on my days off there was always news coming out who is injured. You know what what's going on with the you know trades As well as around the time. I was in that three year window when colin kaepernick became this. This this this person that everyone wanted to direct all their iron towards yup Lose laughing now right right right right and so like i was in that period of time when it was deflate gate. It was calling kabir. Nick was the fuck goodell movement. It was it was everything that was going around. the barsha. sports was starting to become really popular and they were up to some of the antics that they were they were doing so. I was in that three year window where the nfl was at. Its peak of kerala. Title news media conversation. Yeah and so. I had no downtime And i was travelling so much to a point. Where i would. I would get in to a stadium. My first year of get into wherever the see was on a friday night or saturday morning and i would be there through the game on monday. Be at the stadium until two. Am i would go back to the hotel. Take like a thirty minute nap. Most of the time. I would even napper just like get cleaned up and pack head to the airport cash five. Am flight be back in bristol. Connecticut in most of the time. I was going straight into the office and i wasn't really getting that downtime. Because land in their some news right So that was pretty much life as well as covering some the college sports Dealing with that dealing with any of the controversy that was happening outside as well as keeping on top of my craft. You know just covering the sports wasn't enough. It was also what are the trends. What's happening in the digital space was the algorithm facebook doing like. How do we help to that. It was a lot that does sound like a lot. And you know the thing that that that that you mentioned that i think is important to underscore is how much time you put into this. And you know it it. Probably the those three years felt like ten years for you but you know it sets you a furnace excess like you paid your dues early to make yourself that good that is taken to where you are now and i'm sure that you look back and you're like man. I worked so much but god. Your growth. Trajectory was probably huge. You probably learned so much in those three years and with the cowboys before that that you were just had your head was probably brimming with everything that was stuffed in there. Yeah i would say on learned. I learned other corporate politics more than anything. How in the space in the space. That i'm in. There's no book on how you do things we were. I was writing the book along with my co workers like there was no there was no case study. There was no strategy on how you approach social media social content digital content for media entities. You were creating that every single day for the ones that were pioneering. What is the most effective strategy. You can make in the space that we were in and wanna learn as corporate politics where it's not about how hard you work or is not how. 'bout start about you. Know what you're doing. It's the bigger picture of where the company sets as well as what are the motivations and intentions by the people in power that are making the decisions in affecting you on a daily basis. So you can example me. We were doing stuff on the road where we'd use our phones and start. Getting proper equipment didn't have internet We didn't have the best equipment we needed to to be active at our jobs or efficient at our jobs. So a lotta times. We work in those ninety hour weeks because we didn't have the right resources. Then you look into some of the other departments internally and you say like there are resources here there are people that are not really doing anything. See this sitting at the cafeteria all the time like. Why am i overhear. Busting my ass as much as i am that there are other departments that are more overstaffed. Essentially are right right. Why are we getting this and was wasn't anything other than the fact that social media digital media was just dislike pariah. Were they thought that all we were doing sitting around tweeting right the bigger picture so that they got enough. Let's just put these people there. We'll just it out in so it wasn't until like my last three months that social media started to become an actual emphasis of and so the corporate politics was understanding that the motivations behind the people in power are not always with the best interest of the company at heart. it's the best interest of them at heart and they're playing their own little side game up there at the top that doesn't help the company progress in any much. That's what i learned. I also wanna ask anita. What was it like being a woman. Who's south asian in in a pretty much white male dominated industry sports and i assume like. Espn what did you have to deal with anything from that capacity. Yeah i i had to deal with a lot in terms of i would walk into the room and i would be the only person that was not whites was the first time i mean it was the first time i ever had to do with that. Even with the cowboys to like i was the only person there was no. One there caller. Actually it was one more person but There were not many in in college growing up. I played sports in hours so used to being around african americans. You know hispanic people That i it never really affect me. I would always look at it as okay like people are talking about. You know minorities. But i'm never bugged or came. Came true me. Because i was always so so much in a melting pot of people at never had it with it and so it wasn't until like i wouldn't even say. Espn was was as bad as the cowboy was but it became very apparent that okay. I'm a minority. Don't forget that you're a minority mita in so people people respected what. I had to say not because i was a minority respecting me. Because i'll sing right. It actually became a benefit for me the fact that i am minority because they started to see. Oh shit this. This chick knows she's talking about this. Chick is proven through data. That she's right in. She's also a female in a minority. He's perfect like she checks. A couple of she checks a couple of boxes right. So i i. I took advantage of that. Frankly i did. I detect banja that. Because i knew that for for for organizations to get with the times of not give them a check. The box scenario of yeah. We're diverse no. You're actually diverse. You're gonna put me in power powerpoint here walking into some of those rooms. That if i didn't speak up i was doing a disservice to a ton of other people that were right behind me. And i think the fact that you took that opportunity You know bull by the horns and gnarly diverse. Which is something that you you couldn't change but you good then. You worked hard to be good and that combination is really powerful. And just think and. This is why. I was so excited to talk to. You was your trailblazer as much. As as you're building. The path for people writing the playbook for sports world. You're also doing it for people who look like you and me who are females. And who wanna do this. But you don't have the role models that they that honestly haven't been there in the sports world so i think that's super cool and i'm i'm really glad that you've found your way to succeed in and find. Find your find your bliss and find something that works for you think you. You don't feel like a trailblazer. i think. One of your shows entourage and when my favorite characters argh old mantra in the moment that you're happy with what you see in the mirror is the moment they might as well retire like always entrenched in me. So i'm always pushing myself to get better every single day and learn some things every single day and i don't i don't. This is a flaw of mine. I don't stop and think about what i've accomplished. I'm always thinking about what more i can do And so i appreciate you. Call me a trailblazer. I don't feel like i am. I feel as if that i'm still. I'm still trying to learn from the trailblazers. That are ahead of me and how i can catch up to them. Yeah yeah okay. So i want to go back to your your career time. You finish your style time at espn. You are ready for the next step. Where did you go after that. I moved out west to california. I got tired of looking at one thing that i got really tired of was come back from those those trips landing in everything being closed and bristol connecticut around nine o'clock at night and going back to my apartment and not having any food pretty much going hungry or going up to the office in the cafeteria so i was sobered out. Every year. after football. I would go with my family to hawaii We'll take a trip for like a week. Ten days out there in twenty eighteen was different. I just come off of you know. My grandfather passed away january twenty. I went straight from my grandfather. Passing away to the To houston where we had a wild card game then to the Back to bristol. Then we went to the pro bowl and then went from the pro bowl back to the super bowl and then after the super bowl i was so emotionally and physically drained and it was a different feeling and i knew that deep down i was done i had nothing left to give my family thought it was like okay. Maybe just a vacation. Maybe just need you know. Some some time away took ten days off went to hawaii. No my brother. And i just had a lot of conversations that time and every single night i kept thinking telling him on the gum done. I don't think. I have anything left to gave. Just the thought of going back there and doing another year of this just. I don't think. I have anything left to be a twenty eight and i feel so like broken. Almost like you're you're thinking in. Your rear is like my retiring from the game of sports right right despite on song. Is this this. it was. And i'm and i made the decision and that it was time to go and so i moved out. West to work for a company called is an event which is pretty much the espn of the video game and entertainment industry. They covered the gaming. The cover of the entertainment bird goal like the the comecon marvel. Pixar game of thrones walking dead up that genre of content. I wasn't the biggest video gamer high game and in college whenever we were in between Training sessions in study hall would do it as a a mental break away. Nothing like playing call of duty in shooting some people And so. I made that move. Ira oversaw their entire social content and strategy team took it from what it was which is about a million dollar business into a multimillion dollar business. Was there for about a year. And a half i viewed it as like a. I was going away from bristol connecticut and is moving to los angeles and i was gonna get to enjoy los angeles and understand. Different industry understand holiday. How things work beyond sports now. I did get to learn a lot of that. Where did you find. That was the biggest differences funding. They are funding digital media. More than anything else. The amount of resources going towards the work that we were doing was different in. It was really stunning to me when anytime we were going to go do a shoot like we did this. Shoot where We went to new york like a month in to my time there. And we were doing this Red carpet for did pool. Two with ryan reynolds. Josh brolin We were we were broadcasting. The red carpet live I was given as much resources that wanted to go up. Just like shoot the crap thing we did. This like this game of faulk. Mary kill between the cast of deadpool to where they were choosing which cast member that they would want to do. And i remember us going up there and we're like reading it. Are we going to get any kind of responses from the cast here. What was going to happen. And i remember asking that question. I was actually asking the questions to the to the actors. I remember asking that question to ryan reynolds and he looked at me and he goes. I can't he looked at me and he gave me this amazing expression like i can't believe you asked me that. I'm so excited that you asked me not. I've been asked a bunch of questions about one of my wearing. Your what do think this is an actual question. I wanted to answer. And he can similar to what i did with the cowboys and we were going into the locker rooms and we were asking him questions. That were different. I took that same exact approach with itn and we were doing these questions that they wanted to answer So he immediately was just like. I'm not gonna say fuck because i don't wanna get trouble. Pr person they might grow right right but they give her asking me this question. I've been thinking about this for a long time. Some thought behind it. So i've had some minus and he was rambling on before he actually answered it. And so i'm saying that because we were given the resources and we were empowered to be different as whereas you know at the cowboys in espn rightfully so you were protective of the brand new. Didn't want to do anything. That was going to create controversy whereas now we were like created controversy for some gas on that fire. Go do it And so that was that was one of the main differences that i noticed early on and then then we went and tried to do the exact same bit at the avengers endgame premier vendors and vanity premiere of a few weeks later and we did it and we got so much heat from disney. Pr after we published. It said this is a is a disney red carpet. You shouldn't be doing this like we're not going to give you access anymore. all right. finally we got this awesome piece of content. We should tom holland reply. He meeting ripped off buck. Mary kill like quickly he already knew. Knew that's so cool. And i just love that. Were you know being a consumer of social media being a consumer of content. There is just so much out there. You need to think differently for you to break through like you cannot answer. You cannot get good content if you're asking the same questions like all the hundred media companies and as a consumer. I wanna see that content. That's different from you know. Why do the movie like what was the hardest part like you know. What are you wearing like you see that all the time and this is that answer to that question is be super interesting that i would share with my friends. It was funny or or super interesting. So i love how you to to be different. You gotta think different that is. That is really cool. Nita one question that popped in my mind that i'd love your take on is throughout your career. You've been building and writing the playbook on digital media and social media you know through cowboys through. Espn through i now. How has your stance on social media chain on social media. Jimmy a change over these career. Stops that you've had continued to be trying to entertain your audience. I think it's changed. Because the main usage of social media has evolved from what it should be and what it was meant to be too. Now there are outside forces Beyond the sports and entertainment bubble the have put a label on social media. That i don't know how you repair it without regulation Three is that the Socially he has become toxic. Emitting many ways You know you can go on there right now. It's very much a cancel culture. The political environment has changed it. It's being manipulated in a way that there's no bots in there so my stance on it has been a continues to be. It's used in a way that is meant to entertain an audience. Engaged with anya nss it. It is serving what it was created to do which is keep people connected. Keep people entertained and what it has evolved into now. Is something that. I would not normally in any circumstance be wanna touch it with a ten foot pole which is manipulation and toxin. Yeah that's a great point. And the other thing that i think is interesting about social media versus any other discipline is how fast the evolves rally giving the example for mice point during the quarantine i discovered tiktok as a thirty plus year. Old male right. It's not exactly my targets ed. Hey why the hell not let me let me get that and check it out and this was not on the map for me a year ago maybe not even six months ago and the i cannot watch stop watching some of the content because it's so funny so entertaining as you said and it's not filled with things that are just not relevant to me so for you. How do you keep up with new platform. The new nextwave and make it relevant authentic to the employer the the platform that you're promoting. Well that's that's one of the biggest battles that any akon degree to face is. How do you maintain relevant to the next generation right it's with. Espn was snapchat. Snapchat started a creator discover page. How are we going to. You know engage without audience. Because it's always about that. Thirteen eighteen year old. Demographic that you're trying to keep engage strike in so a few years ago snapchat. How do you keep engage with people on snapchat. Then it now. It's tiktok so other than you know the creepy way to say it is. You've got to go find a much. Thirteen year olds understand what they're doing right. Yeah but the the real way to do it is through like a more in-depth and thought out internship program where you're going in your hiring some of these people that are in college high school wherever and you bring them in and you're saying hey come up with some content ideas you're learning from them as much as they're trying to learn from you you're also learning from them and so for us it was in any of my previous stops. It's how do you. How do you find people that understand basic concepts of social media that understand with the landscape. It is but also coming to the table with an understanding of what they're doing and so tick hot. You're not gonna see many more social platforms pop up the way tiktok has because it takes a lot of funding to break through and they were already coming on a position of power with musically like musically bytedance has also well funded But they're also approaching it into the to the point of made previously about you know social media. Becoming toxic tiktok is full of entertainment. Tiktok is probably by far the best social platform has been created in the existence of social platforms. However like you can manipulate it. just like anything else. Yes but the amount of entertainment the amount of pure content as tiktok is is incredible. It is it's going to push every other social platform in a way that they've never been pushed before because the entire thesis of what tiktok was built on was about the influence of marketing in the influence your creativity whereas twitter instagram or ernie's twitter facebook are really built upon a controversial. You can be. what can you create. That's going to get people either triggered or pissed off enough to a point where they're just going to spiral out of control and it's those platforms have created a little bit of a mental health conundrum. Ya where tiktok you could just be scrolling tiktok for an hour and not even realize throwing for an hour because you're laughing at every single video and how it is and also one affect that take talks gonna have people aren't talking about is this. The next generation of kids is going to be the most creative generation of our of our lifetime because they're spending their time on tiktok in d. content that it takes to be viral on tiktok. You have to think uber. Craig can't just like some people are gonna get their dance. But the ones that are really britain through the pingpong. Balls on the on the podcast. Right it's going into the cup. Those are the ones that are gonna break lou and to think that way is just gosh. I'm so excited to see how they how how that generation evolves into and to your point. I think the feeling i get after watching tick talks is not a sense of loneliness or sense of like Men like this other person's doing i'm not like you know how so other social media definitely fifth facebook and instagram. You just feel like everyone is curated. Their lives in a way that makes it look like they're having an awesome well tiktok. It's just like them in their homes filming a video with pots and pans. Right it makes you feel good. It's about jealousy. So that i think the way it makes consumers feel is a big impact. If you don't think about all the time of what other social media don't do the other platforms yeah So that's cool that that is a great analysis on it and understanding why i liked it so much it's just from platforms differ beast in ipo. It's not meant to do anything but entertain in its pure content and it goes back to what i was saying with my time at. Espn the cowboys. everywhere else. it's about. How can you create contents can engage in entertain the audience and now it's a completely different social landscape than it was even a few years ago. Because everything's about can be supersensitive to what the compensation is like. What is donald trump tweeted. Is it probably like what. What is society societies. Like main trend right now. And how do we avoid using even like one single word that's gonna piss off someone else you know. So yeah that makes okay. Let's chat about your most recent opportunity so you finish your time a year and a half and then what. What did you do next after that. So i am guided jim cabal. Who's now my boss and ceo founder co founder of influencer. A met him. Last may may twenty nineteen wasn't really interested in leaving jan I was still burnt out on sports and in fact i didn't even watch sports entire time and i did not watch any sports at all because i'm sober note on sports. Didn't like on sundays. I was going to the beach said of watching. Nfl saturday. i was sleeping in. I was enjoying my vacation from. Sport is for sure sure i met. Jim cavill In may of twenty nineteen we had lunch and he was interested in getting to know me and my background. Yes she got connected. Through a guy named david schwab david schwab's the pm like brand partnerships at octagon sports which is an agency that represents steph curry jaanus and a bunch of other top athletes We got connected. We don us tommy about the company that he built influencer and what he was starting to prepare for. Which is the future of college sports in college sports in a name image and likeness world which If you're up to date on that basically it needs. That's how athletes in college sports. You'll make money off their name. Their image likeness in so what he was doing. The time was starting to think about how his platform influenced her attack the college space to allow athletes to make to monetize their nfl. And so i was like happy where i was really thinking about leaving when we started talking. I initially started consulting. Born hamden is more interested in just like helping on a side hustle and continuing. My my job was enjoy my vacation from sports. You know spending my time with my dog out hiking l. a. versus ninety miles but he really started to sell in jim and jim's incredibly motivated guy. He you hear him. Speak and you want to just run through brick wall. So as i started working consultant for him he was going through a sale of the company where he was initially. He was pre-funding. The company was moving it making sales space off of the platform as it existed. And they were they were skyrocketing which is why we consulting with them was was helpful. They had signed it. When i when i first consulting only at about fifty school by the time house done there at seventy five and growing even faster to a point where they were approached by a company called teamwork's who was basically the g mail to influencers youtube. They were functioning with the team's At how they were staying connected with their athletes they approached jim about acquisition and throughout that process. I was helping jim kind of evaluate. What the next steps word. We both felt that the teamwork's acquisition what made the most sense and as part of that he was like i want you to be here. Like what can i do to get you here In so i became abundantly clear that my future was headed that way because jim the cell on when gyms an incredible salesman in He he he was able to convince me that this was the right. Move for me. So when i was evaluating this opportunity a i went back to just like reflecting upon my career thinking every time i made a decision to move from job to job job it was. It was either an opportunity. I couldn't turn down or it was An emotional decision of i'm just so burned out an exhausted. Sure her and this one was different. This one was my gosh. Is this one. This one was about if there was ever a time for me to take a chance in get out of my comfort zone and do something. That was completely different. This is the opportunity. So i i made the decision of i'm gonna take a leap of faith. Must see what happens here. So i pulled the trigger and took this opportunity after the acquisition closed. They hired me on as a chief operating officer of them on sir. My job here is primarily building our platform taking advantage of everything. I've learned throughout my career in helping athletes It helping empower athletes with content In a way that's throwing their brand. So whereas i was helping grow the dallas cowboys. The the rams as an entity now. I'm focused on the athletes that are in our platform. And how can i help. Get them on a successful strategy to grow their own social platforms as well as navigating Our sales marketing client success than our clients as well as how hauer partnering with the right companies out there to help us grow our team and Team and athlete uses. Wow that's a big job. Nathan that's awesome can. Can you tell us. About like growing an individual's social media presence are their contents. What's an example of how you do that. Let's say i'm an up and coming college athlete. Doing well do my thing. Want to monetize my name image. Likeness what would you tell me. Like samir york. You're damn good football player. Here's what you should do. I'd say smear you're right now. Winning field losing off the field not putting anything on your social platforms. Here's what you need to do. We're sending content if you open up your influence our app you've got content coming into your your gallery which you need to do is after he win. I think you need to do is grab the best picture. Put it up on your rampage. The operables opportunistic window. Is that thirty minute window. After games over on the fans out there trying to celebrate on social media when the conversations at its peak. You need to have some content after that's gonna take advantage of that opportunity in need to put it out there in a way. That's authentic to you as human so. If if you you love drake in you get hyped to his music before you go out and play in you really identify with guy. We pull a dray quote. Put it out there of with in the caption. It's understanding that after the loss the best need to do is not look at dimensions. It's understanding that you need a program at more than once every thirty days in order for you to grow is also understanding that anytime that there's like something to celebrate as a team that you're not only celebrating yourself but you're celebrating. The team is a whole. It's understanding who your voices. What your voices in how you could create a social strategy based upon that and what. Our job now is to do what we're doing right now and influence there is during this During during the george floyd protests in the black lives matter protests were doing his entire pro athlete network were sending them content worsening them images. In fact i'm looking over here. Because i some stuff coming. In from our designers we're sending them content of. I'm with cap and mlk quote with colin kaepernick to it on your social platforms. It's swipe up for instagram. Stores to register vote. It's here's how you can help. Donate we're seeing right now more than ever. That athletes are wanting to break away from their onfield persona right in stark. Get more active. So us you. What i've always felt was necessary in sports. Which is the social activism of athletes. They are more than like the athlete like no longer. Should they just shut up drubel right about that. They step up and start using their platform in a way. That is going to move the needle forward for this country and so regardless of whether you vote republican democrat whatever at this point it any of these athletes being silent in not taking advantage of their social audience. They're complicit with the status quo. In so what. I'm trying to tell athletes. Is you know in a respectful. There is a respectful way. There's a a political way to go about being active in what we're currently experiencing as a country which is a need for change. You choose to go to wanna be involved but don't want to alienate people. Here's how you do it. And we're saying them content that is a-political political matters purely going to help them get their voice get their beliefs out but not say fuck donald trump or her. Joe biden right. It's something that's just gonna keep their audience at least understand that your vote. Here's what my core beliefs are on with kapernick. Huge right. i'm gonna. I'm gonna neil them this upcoming season stuff like that. That's awesome and i think that is super valuable for an athlete right. Who has like who wants to get into the conversation of whatever it is but they just don't know how and you guys are instant sounds like you're instrumental in helping them do that and and craft the story that they wanna tell. That's super cool. Yeah we're just giving them continent their fingertips which is what we do at influencer were pulling in content sources to whether it's getty images or usa today as well as the the school's own contact creatives or popping in stuff into them now. What we're doing is actually creating custom content. We're giving it out to him. Like i think the most important thing that i tell these athletes all the time. The most important thing that you can do is tell audience to register to vote. Do it registered to vote and then go vote. And so we're creating your ten different pieces of content for these guys from now until a deadlines to just put the message out there. Swipe up to vote or swipe up to register to vote. Here's nick sure you go vote. Here's a deadline in this state. Get out there. Tell people registered about out and then actually vote. That's awesome so sounds like you're passionate about this this role and no this was when you took the role. It was a big jump for you. And like you're you're taking arrest to do it. How have you enjoyed it so far. What have been the what have been. What has been your action now. You're what eight eight eight nine months in. Yeah i mean it's it's it's incredible. I'm flexing different muscles. That i've never had an opportunity to really work on now. Now it's it's no longer about. You know how this piece of content and as you know what is the model of behind why we're doing things we'll see. Roi behind this. It's a little bit more like a business Flexing my business muscles here. It's how do we. How do we scale this process. How do we make sure that my team currently remote. How do we make sure that they're they're feeling as if they've got everything that they that. They need to be successful in their job. It's how do we manage priorities. It's it's much more of a like high level looking down in managing what's in front of us role than anything It's been a challenge especially during cove it. It's it's not happen. It's not been the easiest navigate however we all understand that we we have an opportunity in front of us to to take advantage of this guy as think about takes back. the last. Three months of kobe have moved the ball forward on digital adoption by ten years. Oh by by far and so whether it's zoom skype or even just basic like adoption of social platforms as your as your content source as shitty covert has been to our economy. It's done wonders for people like me. Who built their entire career around social content and digital media. There could have been a more forward leading our forward like push behind. What i'm doing other than this remote structure that we're in because of that it's it's also like put us a little off balance because now we're starting to realize that we can't take this this old approach of how we do things we have to now like. Meet them at the game of thinking forward. How do we keep moving digital media ford in a way that people are still trying to catch up because if you're doing what other people are doing your relic agent. You have to be doing things any more innovative way. Which is why. We're focused right now. On empowering these athletes to push content use their their social distribution as a means of social good. And so you know it's been. It's been a challenge because cova has disrupted the sports world in a way that. I'm not sure it necessarily house some sports recover. But at the same time it's been done wonders. What our core mission is which influence our core mission is to serve storytellers. We say every day we serve storytellers and right now. We're winning that out in a way that we could have never imagined even six months ago because we would have never been given this opportunity had covert not happened right. That's awesome that there's a silver lining to anything right and and the people who have focused on building their businesses that are location agnostic and digital proof. Which you've done are the ones that have succeeded. And i think that's so cool that you know. This thing has raised the platform for digital and it definitely has pushed my adoption. My company's adoption forward into new technologies and platforms. That you would not have would have been such a slow burn to get there. So i think that's awesome. Okay let's move onto a rapid fire questions and the questions that we've asked our interviews and got some really super cool responses so first question for you need that is Is there an item or service that you've bought recently. That has dramatically improve your life. This could be smaller. Big anything that you've you've you've bought recently that you're like wow. I could not live without this audible audible audible on audible so i. I didn't use to read books that much i used to always like. I'm writing a book. And what i'm doing but now i've become a little more nostalgic about understanding what other people's journeys are so audible has been wonderful for me to understand more by biographical ways that people have thought about their own careers would have been favored books. That you've read most recently. Bob is book has been fantastic. So good lifetime for influence or i think one of the books that's really like that's really molded. My thinking has been a book called play bigger which is basically the people behind The uber startup journey just understanding what makes a company successful. And what doesn't i loved. That book awesome too great recommendations. Second question when you think of a south asian person who look to in your field or outside your field. Who would you say comes to mind. And why. I really love hassan montage. I think he's he's He's just creative as personality. That's so real authentic as funny as the guy is. He's so intelligent. And i don't know i feel like he's become sort of the voice of our generation now pitcher the deal i i love him and i think the one that really spoke to me was when he talked about the black lives matter movement with with a view point from south asian. Like i was like. Oh my god. This is exactly what i'm going through what i'm thinking about. And he just vocalise it so clearly and just right. He's like the beacon for us like he takes everything that we go through and we've been through and what we need to go through and communicates in a way that makes sense cool. Okay what is a movie or book that had has had the most impact on you. Some question i think book. I think i love bob eiger and i've always eat when i was with espn. I was always impressed by him. I think he's book an understanding understanding the behind the scenes of what he was thinking has had a major impact on me because it's not about his beliefs. It's about his own him listening pathetic to his team. That's i some sometimes come off as bit cold and distant to my team and people that were really. Because i'm so focused on results in i think hearing his perspective that it's okay to kind of be kinda be what's right where it to be a little supportive of other people's feelings at times has had a huge impact on me at this point in my career where it's it's not just about results results result. It's about it's about more than that. Yup and the other thing. I loved about what by bog. Bob iger said is having only three priorities. If you have more than three priorities than you've lost people you've lost your organization. So that's one of the things i've taken in my job too is like you only focus on so much and make sure they're damn good so i i really like that is as a take away from from that book and as far as moving like i love watching like documentary series You know there's there's just so many that. I can start riffing off. That i don't really have just one specifically on harlins out answer but it's true. Yeah i had a really good chat with a gotham chopra on on southern stories. And he did. The steph curry thing on facebook live facebook watch which i thought was awesome because as inside the staff but be it was using a platform that was up and coming like facebook wash. So that was. That was really. I'd love documentaries like that just enough for you can you. Can you not have to devote three hours to documentary. But get that hit when you need it for. This is a big question. And i'm curious to know your response if you had to give an up and coming south asian person. Who's interested in sports. Who's interested in digital social media and breaking in. What advice would you give them in wi who listen We as south. Asian people get stereotyped to be doctors engineers. Exactly yeah i look at my own. Family extended family the end. I've got so many cousins that are doctors not as many engineers as before but still a healthy amount of engineers but mostly doctors listen. I think i think ultimately the best advice i could give people in. It's one that i loved. my own. career is fine. What you're passionate about do that do it. In a way that helps the people around. You understand that this is more important to you than anything else for me. It was sports. I played sports growing up if you knew me When i was younger you do. She's she's a sports girl. She plays soccer. She plays basketball s when she does Because i loved it defined what he loves in you do in your great e work hard and you do great things that what you love It's easy to convince people around you that you could be your own meek individual And that was. That was the battle that i fought with my own. Mom my mom she she still gives me shit for not doing our gave them doing on. Y'all she gives my brother shit for not having a poodle. It's just the reality of you know the more traditional you need families that are out there and so the advice. Oh give is be passionate about what you wanna do by understanding what you're passionate about and focusing on that it doing it in a way that people around you know this is what she loves is what he loves. This is what they are destined to do. Go do it go do it. And if you fail gives a fuck love that. I love that and to one of the things you had said earlier in the interview of how it's important to find the people in network with Individuals who are in the industry. Or if what you're passionate about and just learning from them and building your base of off constituents that will help support you maybe not now but maybe in later. I think that is amazing. Advised to people who just want to you find. Their passion is to find people who've done it in the industry that you are are in want to be in. And and and get connected. Networking is key in. It's not the networking of iag to help me when it's most convenient for me. It's the empathetic to what your your are as. Well so i've taken it upon myself during covid to just check in with all my mentors check in with all the people that have been close with and just just ask him how you doing how everything's going and if you're going to people with not a need but just going to them just to understand like hey how can i. How can i be of service to you. that's really truly. Take your network from from just being like an acquaintance to actually being a lifelong friend providing value. That's awesome okay. Neath a any final asks for the audience anything you'd like to leave them with before we close. I mean if anyone out there is inspired by the the ramble that i just went on throughout this entire ninety minutes now is near If anyone's inspired by anything. I said like i would love to reach out to me and you don't see how i can help you as well as like answer any questions that may be might have basically what you heard But again like i know i know how difficult it is to come up in this world when you're culture tells you to do something that's may not align what you wanna do as fish. I was able to get to where i wanted to be despite those forces pushing me to do something different And so you can too. It's doable let me be the beacon for you. Yes thank you thank you. And for everyone listening including us contact information in the in the bio so feel free to reach out. You know. i've had such a blast on either. Thank you so much. Thank you for your real stories and everything with it so keeping in touch and can wait. Seattle amazing influence her. Hey guys it's samir again. If you'd like to hear more amazing stories on south asians around the world please check out. South asian stories podcasts dot com and subscribe to our email list that south asian stories. Podcast dot com. Thanks a lot and see you next time.

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