17 Burst results for "Jan black"

"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

Nobody Told Me!

05:40 min | 4 months ago

"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

"Welcome to nobody told me I'm Laura Owens and I'm Jan Black and we are so excited to be talking with our guest on this episode award winning mystery author Simone Saint, James, whose New, York, times, and USA Today bestselling book the Sundown Motel has just been released in paperback. It's been said that Simone writes the kind of eerie and unnerving stories that keep you looking over your shoulder and leaving all the lights on while and after you read Simone, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here. How you became a mystery rider I became a mystery writer because I wrote three romance novels and couldn't get them published. Oh, my God. And and then I came up with this idea, which was just the idea of what if a woman was working for a temp agency and her temp agency assigned her to be the assistant to a ghost hunter. What would happen I had this idea and I just really loved it and I had no agent I had no publishing contract..

Simone Saint Sundown Motel Laura Owens USA Today Jan Black York writer James
"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

Nobody Told Me!

03:48 min | 8 months ago

"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

"Welcomed nobody told me I'm Laura Owens. I'm Jan Black. Have you ever found it tough to communicate with others of a different age race, religion, gender or job function? Would you like to close this conversation gap between you and your boss? Coworkers employees, our customers our guest on this episode. Elicit Carpenter has advice on how to do just that Eliza is a workplace communications, expert and the owner. Owner of everything's not okay, and that's okay. where she provides training consulting and speaking services to organizations. She's also the author of how to listen and be heard inclusive conversations at Work Elizabeth. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you so much for having me..

Laura Owens Jan Black Work Elizabeth Eliza Carpenter
"jan black" Discussed on The Wolf's Den

The Wolf's Den

02:52 min | 1 year ago

"jan black" Discussed on The Wolf's Den

"Come i want i want l everyone i want you guys the disclosure secret of how anyone could have just how do you deal windsor west tell me you're secret i think the one thing we did at the start that a lot of people don't do is we started out with thirty episodes we've posted thirty at once so it wasn't like we were gonna post one podcast never do it again mhm mhm yeah somebody somebody in the misdemeanors it was like wow we're gonna be a really brought up a we put up a bunch of up to make it look like hey were in business were serious about it that it yeah i'm gonna let us know we we've we've posted that many so and we had really good people i mean i think because i'd been in the business that i knew a little bit about who to contact and you know everything a really really good piece of advice to people to follow certain types like if you think about it and extrapolation content creation like yeah we missed you wanna create lots of content incorrectly a little bit doesn't it it does not say what you will be consistent right ramsey and also doing a lot of what a what does the opposite that's the first thing right and that's that's what they what were the first thirty when they okay do you look back at those first is they suck all you love the first thirty like i feel like it's a mixed bag i i personally wouldn't go back and listen to the first thirty two i'm scared i like my personal i love see my first year operates on his dad and i loved right now is that right dan is amazing syllabus i chose my purpose and that's and that's what i think we did we we went from people who we knew were good talkers that we could relate to it had been out stories and we were interesting topics we also went into it with this idea that we were going to post shows regularly like it had to be like every shows a week and we want it advertisers from the start question to you is your audience you have like a female yes i want more female kimi of ice oh i want more if you don't have enough female incidents like i think i have this repetitious massages i'm not i am not guys get a sense sent me currently i am like i'm a lover a whatever specter women and i have a daughter who i'm more from anything goes like in our lives and so but i could cause of the movie yeah they you know and and it was a different time back then everyday what i even then i respect you let me just like everything my my mother or night let me just say the tree biased in the movie a real i saw moda like i have multiple fucking hell right now is ours i almost to the murder our problem but anyway but you know i saw motor about a year ago to an end she i did a big event new yorker speaking she came to see me at the raptors as part of the between people in the data.

"jan black" Discussed on The Wolf's Den

The Wolf's Den

03:41 min | 1 year ago

"jan black" Discussed on The Wolf's Den

"Know what else i want i wanna have happiness now but i wanna have in our guest on our at more than anything else i think that's a big part of it and on the negative side i think there's a huge problem with with this whole you know you'd think about but this whole university safespace generation in and i think it's really problematic is the world not a safe place and i think that you know you broke go through you know university is not it just doesn't make sense you know i i think people be nice to each other more respect for crying but the world is not you know an artificially maintained save spaces there's good people bad lives the learn it's almost like it's almost like we have a kid that that gets sent off to college my parents and they were so over protective so one of the do any good he becomes binge drinks after work because he didn't have a chapter out of exercise those muscles breaking right now right vs so a little too liberal my kid but they were they like they ended up doing well but they sort of had that they understood sort of that they you know what that was before they went away so they able to sort of step into it in a more rational way right exactly and i think that totally makes sense i think that right now with my generation i found that a lot of the kids have gone the college end were were so sheltered in high school then they go to college and it's still really sheltered safespace like i have friends who went to u s c and god forbid they step out of you know immediate neighborhood of band and i wanna let you know one of the things we've discussed scott's before this is not the problem with homelessness in in san francisco i you know one of the clause is it is a political failure is it a is a situation of whether it's on the east coast and i guys don't know this but the east coast like when it's winter almost you will die some sunshine like they don't sleep on subway you know great is really cold yeah it doesn't get cold here right now one of the things i noticed even before this became a like so much into the public gum you know discussion yeah there's tons of homeless people in california and even if teen years ago right right now it's got why i think it's so it's a comedy you think about that in terms of like is a political is very politically i'm into it i think i think there's a political element to it but i also think there's a mental health element i think that's the biggest thing mental health you know you have so many of these people who are homeless who really have mental health issues who who don't necessarily want to you know for whatever mental illnesses involved they don't want to be in a a traditional housing situation you know they also don't have the resources to get a job that's going to help keep a job or yeah an advocate for their mental illnesses and then there are a lot of addiction issues there are a lot of education issues i mean it's it's so complicated it's really complicated it has gotten so much worse in san francisco some some of it dates back in terms of mental health lava has to do with with them but changing thought in psychiatry and they would be indentured anti psychotic drugs so what happened was back before that like stories in our goal and before there is this new and other drugs is well for schizophrenia what happened was is that they kept these people locked in homes anyway i and i felt which present and it was it might have been reagan okay it might even before that either but there is this sort of school for that you know what we can control their problems with medication and they let large amounts of people out of nursing adam of adams institutions taking they could survive on this you know in society and what happened was is just side effects of these medications are pretty severe so people don't wanna stop taking all the weird thing is like.

"jan black" Discussed on The Wolf's Den

The Wolf's Den

02:32 min | 1 year ago

"jan black" Discussed on The Wolf's Den

"The room in that age range and i went through my share losers to get to the higher but that's always the case right you know what i'm saying and i i don't i wonder why that is i think that's like it's always the pete is always a small group that yelled loudest right so i think there is an tiny little group of millennials but it's a very tiny fraction of that that that you know what did he pulled the social justice warriors wherever they are where it seems like they want you know something for nothing or it's all about like you know you know give me because i exist and i but i think the really tiny sliver of the yet somebody they'll get you know dipped into you know i think that when you get into that sort of their own when it was taught to make them work on the way right right and it's like i haven't found that at all right that not small group makes it so hard for me i feel like i have to justify i'm a millennial but how hard i my mom i cd exact dom millennia oils all right in their own free ninety percent of at and they work long hours yeah but like the difference is is they the the things i think it just knowing human nature management i make sure environment is fun and exciting conducive to them almost like they're all in business for themselves here mom like growing and learning and have a lot of authority and if they do well they immediately rise up say i i think that in some games and motivate i don't wanna be cubbyhole like i think it rises right and so not not today not willing to work hawks they are i don't i don't think they expect instant investment but i think what we want though is to be they liked that'd be tested in the sense of giving responsibility and they they work well like that but i think they also want something they want ownership of what they're doing they might motivation to work hard or they're not just living you know in the same apartment they've lived in for ten years they wanna move up they wanna buy the house they want they want on there and company right right yeah but you know what when you're talking about they wanna own their own company there's so much talk in san francisco specially about millennials working for startups ups in the idea being that all these millennials were working for startups they're all making a million dollars over nine yeah and i think that that must make the ones who aren't when maturing yet mail that had the the reality though is that that's completely pletely falls behind the sense that they're not making billions overnight with that happens is you hear these extreme success story about like one company i mean not just one but you know some companies that will take and people get stock options right and for the most part that's that's very rare if.

million dollars ninety percent ten years
"jan black" Discussed on The Wolf's Den

The Wolf's Den

03:13 min | 1 year ago

"jan black" Discussed on The Wolf's Den

"Think it's problematic that people they they post the sort of artificial official represents like you don't like you say when you go on your first date you send you representative it's not the real person exact right they mostly they meet real you are right right well you guys really well all right but social media but everyone's happy everyone while pictures of all right photoshop whatever it might be right on work and then it's kinda screwed up because they could you know i think that you're almost measuring their own happiness against some artificially pumped up in midjuly happiness is right and it's like even though you know that's true it doesn't change they are really doesn't change the fact that when i would be really odd leading the rat i get it i'd be on my instagram seeing everybody else's life and it's hard to pull yourself away from from even looking at that at the time i was in a very abusive relationship physically an emotionally abusive and that may leave and worst of all of my friends seeming happy right right well i think that is the owner like i am 'cause it's a good point that we all i think everyone knows that is bullshit that that that the representation isn't real but yet still affects yeah yeah it is and you know i also gonna see to i think for my mom's generation now it's also the same thing that you know you're friends are posting their kids are graduating in they're going vacation but you know what i did i disagree with you that it's all all you know roses unhappy with my generation because my generation i think also is using social media like talking about some of the the the challenges they face it you know i don't know how many of my friends will post like oh my husband got sicker my mother die hard for us to post pictures were looking good and i got a couple of good years left i mean these raw right right so that's a good point though yeah but i think i think are generation is maybe more honest about that stuff because maybe we've we've been through the years of phony down and then people trying the bp who there who they aren't and so now they've you're like okay i can be honest i could say you know what i mean i've had friends of mine posts like wow you know what were really struggling financially right now and it's like wow you how out of that hole right or you do have people who will say that a family member second any prayers and then i think it could and i especially find with friends my age that i really i really kind of admire those people who are brave enough to say that and i think that it's gotten better which is what it is though like i mean i think it's interesting that that that we i think most people know it's not real out but why do they think it still bothers why do you think we measure ourselves against the visuals like i mean like you know like at some level like you think like miss like the people will say like oh there's a party less like everyone would be a writer missing the young young right it is really weird and i think you know it's it's just so easy to go to your phone when you're bored and look at that stuff you know whereas i guess maybe you know when you guys this generation and you guys didn't have the ability to do that yet yeah like you know it's not real but you just can't help yourself from looking at it sometime you know that when phones first became pop is.

official representative
"jan black" Discussed on The Wolf's Den

The Wolf's Den

03:55 min | 1 year ago

"jan black" Discussed on The Wolf's Den

"And i'll just like you know what fuck it i'm done and i took a deep breath now like the compulsion do drugs were lifted from me aj be announced the wolf this year with the world's than the other great podcasts this is a special one i have to own i mean double team there okay mom and daughter combination they're alleging i got jen black who's been by we just i just found out she's like been in either team and she's like like in vipers not one years old i think we hope i hope so if you wasn't we have it and then we have a daughter laura owens who is also austin they do a banana podcast together a it's a it's got like four point nine stars is really popular dealer is the number one self help podcast a for many weeks is it still has been been off and on and off and yet not only as very very popular and they're they're really awesome in may and i think for them it's mostly a labor of love it so that that's very authentic for it's not like you know i'm sure they do well with the financial but it wasn't about that it's more about they they do it because they love doing it and great story to tell and and i also want you know that anytime you wanna ask me any questions i know you guys do interviews so don't think it's just a one way i wanna have a dialogue would you guys and nothing's off limits both ways right right absolutely so i wanna start by saying okay what were you doing it for years old so at four year old ashley what year was in his okay i would have had nineteen sixty okay okay end a i i watched a televised a local kids tv show in albuquerque new mexico where i grew up begged my mother could i be on the show could i be on the show because they had an announcement saying we need more kids for the shows on my mother said yeah okay okay okay in drove me down front audition and i got on the show and so i was on it for i dunno of few months or so and then the show went off the air right but a that what did you do on the show though it was just it was just a kid show would like six kids doing different things we haven't when we were growing up one drama that like do you remember that show wonder i'm rama i know i'm not may not named in east coast it yeah i mean yeah the kids were wave their hands back in for i mean we lived in a different we post your age right so yeah exactly and it was such a such a big thing but i got the bug van and then just really want it to be in tv and radio and got get back into it in a serious way when i was a teenager when there was a real poll 'em a real push for women in broadcasting in the in the seventies because there weren't many and you know there was a real push to get women hired in broadcasting so i thought well let me try it again and what are you living it up again in it was in albuquerque new mexico so it was a smaller market and i think in a lot of ways it was easier to break in because it wasn't new york it wasn't loss angeles it was a smaller market and you could make mistakes see now you could make mistakes in small towns and so so that was it and got into radio and tv their move to san francisco san francisco at right so so now when you came into the picture i thought so don't matter story now right yeah so now okay and you guys you grow up in san francisco right yes born and raised in san francisco my parents met in radio so my dad has been on the radio for forty some years so what is he doing like what's what did he do is on the base zone talk show he has a talk show he's now doing a briefer news commentary 'cause i'd had been seventies now so he's still wants to be on the air but he also wants to kind of retire so.

aj four year one years
"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

Nobody Told Me!

09:20 min | 1 year ago

"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

"Welcome to nobody told me I'm Jan black too. I'm Laura a wins on this episode. We're taking a look at the great American family road trip with our guest, Richard retain, Richard is the author of the book. Don't make me pull over in informal history of the family road trip. Richard, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having me on always wanted to talk about those good, old fashioned family road trips. We all recall. So fun, Lee. Right. What my mom and I take road trips all the time the most recent being two weeks ago. So we are very, very into the whole family road trip thing. And we want to know more about what your experience was and what spurred you on to write the book. Well, I know this may shock you, but the idea for writing a book about family vacations, actually occurred to me, while on a family vacation socking. Yes, I know my dirty little secret was it wasn't actually a road trip that time. But I had been searching for something to write about, and it occurred to me that the very experience. I was on a family vacation was probably among the most memorable and profound experiences that had shaped my life, and I suspected, it would be the case for many people, those family road trips that I had taken while growing up, you know, had kinda provided many of my most favorite memories. They broaden my outlook in so many ways and really those experiences of traveling together had really shaped my relationships with my parents and my siblings really for a lifetime. But I also realized how little I knew about that great American road trip experience and how it came to be. And so, you know, I wondered about how we got things like our highways things like fuzzed busters eight track tape decks and CB radios from the time I was traveling to highways with my parents and why is the kid I was allowed to roam freely. Around our car, and even climb up and take down on the rear window ledge. And of course, I also had that question I think, so many of us had in the did our family station wagon.

Richard Jan black Laura Lee two weeks
"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

Nobody Told Me!

10:13 min | 2 years ago

"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

"Welcome to nobody told me. I'm Jan black. I'm Laura Owens. We're excited to talk with psychologist, Michael. Reichert on this episode. Michael is the founding director of the center for the study of boys and girls lives at the university of Pennsylvania, and Michael has been described as a leading researcher of the journey from boyhood to manhood is the author of a new book on that topic called how to raise a boy the power of connection to raise good men. Michael. Thank you so much for joining us. Hi, jan. Hi, laura. Glad to be with you and your listeners. Why did you feel compelled to write how to raise a boy? Yeah. You know, it it really is the convergence of my personal journey as a man a father now, a grandfather to grandson, my professional work and my commitment to social Justice. I think that it is high time we were honest with ourselves about the boyhood. That we've built and maintain which was never designed particularly well for boys well being and you know, I think in these times when we're all quite thrilled with the progress of women and girls and wondering what to do about boys. It seems like we're questioning masculinity itself instead of looking at the architecture of boyhood the kind of conditioning of boys that we continue to perpetuate despite the fact that there have always been routine losses and casualties. So I guess answered the question short answer your question is I just think it's high time we applied. A rigorous lands to how we are helping boys in our nurture them. Has boyhood changed from my mom's generation from your generation to mine. Yeah. It's a great question. I actually think that the gender equality movement has disrupted the sort of easy transmission of masculine norms for one generation to the next, you know, the reproduction of traditional masculinity has been disrupted. But despite that fact, most boys will tell you in surveys that they hear messages from both their mothers, and their poverty is that they should man up that they should be ready to fight that they should suck up their emotions, and they're paying and keep it to themselves. So, you know, while I think that the progress of women and girls as disrupted sort of the parameters and the privileges of masculinity that were historically true for generations. I think that's less to today. It's still true. Despite that. That boys are being socialized at many of the same traditional virtues out values. So that's problematic. And I think that what we're seeing is new generations oppose and men trying to adapt to Terry very changed gender landscape. And there's sort of a reinvention of what it means to be a man going on at in fits and starts. I think so what is wrong with telling a boy to man up or to try harder or or those things that you were talking about just a minute ago. Yeah. Yeah. It's sort of a paradox. Right. We don't wanna turn boys into snowflakes. We like certain things about the traditional values of masculinity. Like, you know, that men are self sacrificing that they are willing to be strong are willing to be responsible to they like to build things and make things and care for things. We like many traditional values associated with traditional masculinity. But I think that one of the. The main thrusts of traditional masculinity has run very counter to in fact, in violation of poise and human natures, and in particular, this idea that it somehow weekends you. If you admit vulnerability show your emotions allow yourself to be scared. Stay close to people even as you grow into manhood, and and maintain a healthy interdependent with people, I think those human qualities get compromised when the messages are suck it up and keep it to yourself and be strong be ready to fight don't be afraid. So I think that what we need to do is recognize that as one research put it every human being is wired to connect our brains are built to be in relationship. And one of the things we need to do with our emotional struggles is lean into the. Those relationships and get things off our chest with someone we trust and talk it out code feelings with language things like that. And that is not part of the standard curriculum for boyhood for how we condition our sons what are schools doing wrong. I know the implication that I've gotten from what you've said is this is kind of the responsibility of the parents, but I feel like the school spend so much time with sons and that they should have some role in this. You know, you're absolutely right. Some of my research was to ascertain we're in the midst of sort of shining a light on the phenomenon of boys underachievement educationally. You know, there's there's there's cries of a new crisis of boyhood crisis of boys falling behind titles of books, like the trouble with boys or the demise of guys on or so forth. And a lot of that centers on. Boys educational progress. Relative to girls the truth is first off. There's nothing new about this. This girl's have outperformed boys academically since nineteen hundred the kinds of losses educational losses that typify education for many boys that those losses are harder and harder to bear. You know, not getting a good education not getting through high school and not getting into college getting through college. Those outcomes are more and more consequential. So I took a study global study several studies actually I went in eighteen schools in six different countries in the second and thirty six schools in six different countries in about fifteen hundred adolescent boys and about a thousand of their teachers and ice intially asked. What's working and what we found in that? First study was boys telling us that what worked for them. What made? Learning work for them was a positive relationship connection with a teacher or a coach in the second study. What we did is we dug into that binding and tried to map what kinds of relationships work, and what kinds of relationships don't work, and what can schools do about that? Anyway, I'm telling you the story to to make the point that the surprise of the first study was for boys, so south consciously to identify themselves as relational learners, you know, the stereotype of the boy is that he doesn't care about relationships that he's independent and strong. And you know, what he has to do. And what we found was most all boys have some kind of relational breakdown with a teacher coach when they have that breakdown. They're very unlikely to repair the breakdown themselves to take an issue, tiv-, interesting and more more importantly. What they will do instead of trying to repair the break simply checkout give up walk away disrupt become oppositional take a pass fail. I had one boy tell a story at a school. We were doing a focus group with boys that have been identified as particular problems and one boy, I asked the group, you know, tell us a story about a relationship that had gone. Well, and this one boy told a story about a teacher. He was still in that class. Void some to school one day school has a uniform dress code and white shirt was wearing his white shirt. But under the white shirt, he was wearing a concert t shirts that actually could be seen through the white shirt and the teacher called him out on that in the class. He in the void began to argue the teacher said how about if we just go out in the hallway out in the hallway with the door closed at the argument got more heated and the teacher ultimately called him a punk or something like stop acting. Like such a punk or you're acting like such a punk. It was months after that altercation in the hallway, and what that boy said to us was I won't learn from him. I said to the boy, but you're still in his class. Right. You're you're still, you know, learning from him taking tests with him getting a great from him. And he said, I don't care. I'm not doing anything for him. I won't learn from him. Yeah. That's so interesting because I always think with boys that things like that comments like that just roll off their shoulders. Where's for me? That would bother me months later. I could see how that would affect me. But I would probably just try harder. I certainly wouldn't check out. But it's just interesting to see the differences between the genders. Yeah. If you compare this finding about what happens if boys don't find a connection with the teacher or a coach how they don't try as hard how they give up or how? They they dig their heels in and simply Falk, and you compare that to girls, I think what we see is that girls persist where boys are more more fragile more vulnerable to the quality of the relationship. Not saying I'm not

Michael Laura Owens Jan black Reichert university of Pennsylvania founding director researcher Terry Falk one day
"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

Nobody Told Me!

05:02 min | 2 years ago

"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

"Welcome to nobody told me. I'm Jan black too. I'm Laura a wins. The sinking of the Titanic is a tragedy that has captivated generations of people since the horrible early morning hours of April fifteenth nineteen twelve and joining us right now is author Veronica hinky who's been researching the Titanic for as long as she can remember and as written about in the new book the last night on the Titanic unsinkable, drinking, dining and style. The book takes us back in time to that fateful night weaving food and drink recipes with true firsthand stories of how an elegant sophisticated crews became a nightmare Ronca. We thank you for joining us and would love for you to tell us why you decided to write the last night on the Titanic. Hi, Jannine, Laura. I'm looking forward to talking with you. And as to why I decided to write this book, you know, historically, I mostly food writer, but also features and but mostly food and. Throughout the years that I've had a culinary journey as a food. Reporter. It's always done at the core at the heart of every food story. It's always been about the people. And there are some amazing people that were gonna talk about today who were aboard, the Titanic and say had ties to food fashion cooking, all sorts of different culinary and style related things. But at the corner of each story is how they persevered, you know, even those that didn't survive were survivors in so many ways that night into that early morning for many of them. These are people who looked in the face of death. And we look at their lives through the lens of culinary, and fashion and different types of style. But for your audience for the people that are listening to this episode. It's really inspiring to hear about how these people went through this amazing. Experience giddy. Paying for us the scene and the style the atmosphere the music, and the energy that was going on on the Titanic. Well, there were several different things going on all at once with the three different classes and in first class, which has really probably the best known legacy of what was happening there. There was incredible opulence, you know, the dinner had just completed a few hours earlier before the Titanic struck the iceberg, and the dinner just completed, you know, they just experienced incredible, multi course dinner, which was customary in first class aboard the Titanic and other ships at the time, and in other classes, they had experienced a larger meal in the middle of the day in steerage, for instance, that was the way the third class passengers live there. Heavier meal was midday. That's when you saw the beef and Brown gravy, and the the really. Vy meal and then in the evening, it was really more like heavy back in third class. You know, the fashion was Venus all around there were long skirts and ladies tuxedos are men in first class and steerage. There was a much more casual look the newspaper boy cap was popular then and probably one of the most popular cops that you'd see and it was just a very different experience. But in all three classes, the service and the accommodations and food were still much better than on other sips at the time. And you write that the Titanic set the tone for luxury and her time, and that many of the simple joys of armada an world today were pioneered by people who played a crucial role on the Titanic. Some of the passengers and others is more about that. Yes. Like, for instance. There was an electric sorbet maker. There was a man on board at a very young, man. Just nineteen years old. He's an example of some of the amazing people who operated these state of the art Sewell's his name was eight off madman. He was from in will flip spiceland, and to give kind of a glimpse of what the experience was like for these people how pivotal this experience of working for the Titanic was with its state of the art engineering and tools, he told his parents after I make this crossing a have to make this causing because I will be able to get any job and culinary in any of the hotel in London. And so that really gives us an insight as to what this meant to people to be working on the Titanic because of its state of the art, especially in culinary in everything. But for what we're looking at the culinary aspects

Veronica hinky Laura Sewell Jan black Reporter writer Jannine London nineteen years
"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

Nobody Told Me!

09:16 min | 2 years ago

"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

"Welcome to nobody told me. I'm Jan black. I'm Laura Owens on this persona. We welcome psychotherapist and bestselling author. Lori Gottlieb to the show. Lori is the author of several books the latest of which is called maybe you should talk to someone a therapist her therapist and our lives revealed Lori. Thank you so much for joining us. It's my pleasure. Your latest book takes readers into both your therapy office where you see patients and into your own therapist office where you landed after a crisis. Tell us more about how the book came about. So it wasn't like I woke up one day and said, I'm going to write about my experience in therapy. Right. It was it was very much. I was supposed to be writing a different book, which was a book about happiness, and I had was just starting out my career as a therapist and the more. I saw what was going on in the room and people's lives. The more I felt like the book that I was writing wasn't really getting it what I wanted to say about the human experience, and what we all go through. And what our struggles are like. And so I thought I would rather bring people into the therapy room. And let them see firsthand what was going on. But I also felt that it would be a little bit disingenuous. If I showed what was going on with my patients, but I didn't really present myself as a normal human being that I was the expert up on high, and I really wanted to show that we're all more the same than we are different. And the only way I felt it could really do that was by bringing people into both experiences. You say that your greatest credential isn't your degrees or your years of training. But the fact that you're a card carrying member of the human race. I love that. Why is simply knowing what it's like to be a person struggles in highs and everything that we go through your most coveted skill. I think because ultimately what we're doing is is connecting with people. In therapy remain were holding up a mirror to them and helping them to see the ways that maybe they're they're not aware of that. They're creating more difficulties in their lives than they realize anything that you have to have a certain kind of relationship and trust in order for that process to be affective. And so if I don't know what it's like to sit on the other side of that room. If I don't know what it's like to want therapist to like me, if I don't know what it's like to feel ashamed of something that I may have done if I don't know what it's like to self sabotage. Then I won't know what it's like for my patient. And so I think it's really helpful to be able to say, I know what it feels like I know what pain feels like it might not be your pain. You're paying might not be my pain. But we all know what it's like to just be a person in the world. And I think that that's really important because this this profession is very much about our humanity. And if you don't know what it's like to be a person, nobody wants to go and talk to a brick wall. Nobody wants to go to the person who, you know, either hasn't really experienced life or doesn't really want to engage with the person on a human level. And tell us more about the crisis that landed you in a psychotherapist office. Right. So, you know, I talk about how the presenting problem. The thing that we come in. With is often, you know, the the crisis that that brings us there. Whether it's, you know, something at work or something in our relationship or something with our child or whatever it might be but often it has to do with. Something deeper that that has been going on for a long time. So in my case, I was in a relationship where I thought that we were going to get married, and that's what we had been planning and talking about. And then out of the blue my boyfriend tells me that he doesn't think he can live with a kid under his roof for the next ten years that kid being my eight year old and this came as a complete surprise to me. And all of a sudden everything that I had thought was going to happen. And that I thought was true about our relationship and our future pretty much disappeared. And so that's what landed me there. But what I learned is that a lot more was going on. I'm wondering what your expectations were from your therapist. When you went there knowing what it's like to be on the other side. Yeah. I think that when you go to therapy as therapist, it's kind of like a little too much information might. Dangerous meaning that you don't wanna be backseat driving. You don't wanna have your therapist head on you just want to be there? And as my friend who who was at therapist who said, you know, maybe she talked to someone you need to go someplace where you can just be, you know, not be a therapist you need to go someplace where you're just yourself. And that's exactly what I tried to do in that room. And in terms of my expectations, though, because I wasn't the therapist in that room I had really skewed expectations and my expectations were just need some crisis management. This was a big shock to the system here. And I just need a few sessions to kind of understand this better. And and I really wanted the therapist to basically validate my experience and say, yeah, he's a sociopath. You know? And and that's not what the therapist it. And and if I had my therapist hat on. I would know that that's not what therapist would do. But I didn't. And I think that that's the difference between talking to your friends about a problem and going to see somebody who doesn't have an agenda or who doesn't want to make you feel better. But who really wants to help you see something that maybe you're having trouble seeing tell us about your therapist Wendell? What what's he like? And why did you choose him? Well, I I actually coached him because when you're therapist it's very hard to find somebody who's not ready in your world. So you know, I have I have colleagues in my suite at work. I have colleagues in my council tation group that I go to every week, which is where we discuss cases, you know, I referred to people people refer to me. So those people are all off limits. It needs to be a clean relationship, and it's very hard to do when you're in Scots in in that universe. And so I I actually called a colleague of mine. And told her that I was looking for therapist for a friend. And and this was and this is the person that that she ended up referring me to and it was someone that she had trained with and he was not in my orbit at all. Which was what I wanted. And so he was very different from me. He was first of all he was you know, I was starting out, and he was much more experienced his style was very different from mine. He felt very I would say himself in the room he had boundaries. He wasn't. He wasn't crossing. Any lines are talking about his personal life? But he he very much brought his personality into the room. And that was something that I ended up learning from him to do myself is therapist. But when I first met him, he seemed like he came sort of from therapists, central casting, you know, the us and the. Exactly what you would expect stooped posture. And you know, he seemed like I described him as a kind of a cross between a wise elder nece, stuffed animal. And as I get to know him. My my impression of him changes over time. But I think that happens with everyone. I'm sure that when people come to see me, they have a certain experience of me the first time, they meet me and that will change over time. We're thrilled to have you as part of our nobody told me family, and we want to tell you about one of our sponsors, smart and sexy smart insects is the place to go when you've major plans for spring break. And now you need to figure out what to wear the people at smart and sexy know that not everyone has the same wants and needs when it comes to swimwear. But no matter what your shape or size. Is you want your swimsuit to accentuate your assets? That's why smart and sexy designs fashionable swim pieces that highlight what you love most about your body Brost, I swim tops to lift and shape. Minimum two full coverage bikini bottoms and flattering one piece suits that. Look good on everybody. Type the best part. You can get the looks. You want without going? Broke smart and sexy swimwear is all under twenty eight dollars and comes in over fifty sizes, even triple D bikini tops and tankinis are only twenty two twenty eight dollars. But you can do even better than that right now. Smart and sexy is offering nobody told me listeners thirty percent off their first order, just go to smart sexy dot com to find your new favorite swimsuit and get thirty percent off your first purchase with promo code. Nobody told me that smart and sexy dot com, promo code. Nobody told

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"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

Nobody Told Me!

11:02 min | 2 years ago

"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

"Welcome to nobody told me. I'm Jan black. And I'm Laura I wins joining us on this episode is well-known personal development coach Mike bear who you may know as coach Mike from the Dr Phil show. Mike started as a mental health at addiction counselor before he founded casts centers a treatment center that provides network of professional support tell clients improve their mental health emotional health and their overall wellbeing. Mike is the author of the New York Times bestseller best self be you only better and Mike. It's a pleasure to welcome you to our show. Thank you. Thank you. Grabbing me, Mike. Why did you write the new book bestself, you know, I have been helping people one on one for gosh, I've been a mental health over fifteen years. And so what I wanted to do was I wanted to create everything that I've learned through the years and put it all into a book, you know, until a how to manual that's a playbook for somebody to be their best self, and how did you get into the industry, and why did you decide to become a life coach? Yeah. So that's a good question. I did not think as a kid I would end up in this industry. I actually got over twenty two years old. I dictated drugs grew up in Orange County. California went to play college basketball Fordham in the Bronx as a walk on. And by the time, I got out to college. I just was really unhappy with my life. I got there's the drugs eventually addicted to methamphetamine really really didn't like myself which. Kind of sparked this journey into south help. And once I started to get well became an alcohol and drug counselor. I did a lot of interventions traveled all over the world, you know, helping families help their loved ones who didn't want to change. And and so it's just been I ever since I got sober. It's been a passion of mine because I know that people can change and seeing people change is extremely rewarding people have this this idea that people can't change. Why do you say that's not the case? Well, yeah. I mean, I think people think they can't change because they've tried something. And how work they tried another thing and it hasn't worked. But there's people who are who have struggled or suffered. Whether it be from, you know, really tough childhood to like myself being the drugs and people didn't change. I would still be addicted. Right. People didn't change you wouldn't have. Anyone that got out of prison a lot of people get out and then had changed their lives. And and don't commit crimes and a lot of people. I know who wants maybe we're even cheating in a relationship became more faithful at a later time. So I think people do change. And I think it's it's about believing that and I've gotten to experience it. So I think for a lot of people maybe they don't get to experience it except in their some of their personal relationships. Whereas I've had a really good look at all different types of clients through the years, what kind of questions do you need to ask yourself or what kind of questions? Do you ask your clients to find out if they're ready to change those habits these bad habits? Well, you know, I think there's all different types of change show. I know for this podcast with some pretty difficult changes one needs to make myself being addicted, but I call it the five tenets of change. It's basically, there's five key components. And the first one is curiosity, you know, really being interested in curious. As we are as kids about ourselves. The next step is you have to honest to really make a change in your life. And the next is, oh, which ends for openness being open to other ideas. You know, I can talk, and we think well now that just doesn't work for me. But there's a lot of different ways to slice apply. I always say change. It's like a loose garment. Everyone has their own fit and willingness is the next one. So it's shower after the Afrin him. So I went to curiosity honesty openness willingness, and that's being willing to do whatever it takes to change. And then the last one is f- for focus, which is prioritizing change. And if somebody does those five things, maybe change, and you talk about your best, self and your anti self. So what's the difference between those two is interesting? I'm actually going to school next week a fifth graders here now I and we're doing this same exercise, and I'll do it with adults, and then are takers and executives and your best selfish who you are authentic -ly. So at your core, you know, like. We're all given names, and our parents name, but who we are at a deep level what our values are how we think how we feel how we express ourselves. A bestself to me is not have irrational fear of self doesn't beat ourselves up. Bestself is just the greatest version of who we are. And I think we often lose our bestself through our lives. So we end up going to school. And that's where we start to create stories around how socialize and employment. You know, just sat down with an employee today who has had this belief that, you know, you don't speak up if your your supervisor, right in my mind, I'm like, no, you be yourself your mind. And so what happens is over time. We start to lose ourselves and we start to conform to environment. We grew up in in that we also have different experiences. So they anti self is those experiences that then create a. Story that doesn't make us happy. So you know in school and self and Hella mentally school. It may be the guy who gets really upset at recess or in bestself. We talk about a friend of mine who the nicest woman in the world. But when she gets behind the wheel, we call her road rage, Regina, right terror. She's angry. She goes out of control. And it's also I went on the talk show, the talk on it every day January seven through the eleventh, and I would do their best self and their anti-south. So like, Sharon Osborne was sharing and where it's like she takes care of herself. And she's nurturing she's loving and thoughtful and her anti-south, she called Sally, the sad. Cow who could never say, no to people would agree that things and wasn't putting herself. I, and I think what happens is we all know, we are our own worst critics and right like we are and we all struggle with that. And I've found that when we. Can maim it and understand those characteristics. We can then own it and diffuse it, and I find that I have people draw out there antisocial and in the best of and describe it. And usually when someone's able to do that, it's like a playful way to work on your own ego. Where you're like, okay. I'm just acting like Sally the sag cow. I need to be back to myself. Right. Yeah. Yeah. You're not making those negative things seem like they're about you. Right. And it right. Because if I say, you know, if one of us struggles, let's say with dealing insecure and social setting I've found that it's really helpful to identify all those characteristics of yourself that feels insecure and when it comes out, and then the flip side is we go. All right. Well, what would your best self doing these social settings? Well, my best self would see what I could add the party and say Hello to someone. And it's literally just a switch in the brain. And it works and. Zhu Azali helps a lot with that as well. Right. Oh, yeah. And that's what I love is everyone uniquely create their own bestself and their own anti self. And I have the best office come out. The response been amazing. And so I have a lot of families even doing this as a family activity. So, you know, you'll have mom like just got a video of mom and dad with their two sons, and one of the sons was like, well, my anti-south is when I don't get picked or you know, basketball, and when I really am too competitive. And you know, my bestself is when I'm feeling like, I'm great and in my own work. I try to create universal exercises that can work for any age. What role this the're play in preventing us from becoming our best cell. I mean, there's healthy fear. Right. And then there's the fear that keeps us from evolving, and everyone has different fears in their life, which I think you can't be. Walking through fear and beer bestself, for example, of a social setting, and you can't go. Well, I'm really afraid and my best self is afraid now, I don't I don't buy it. Like, I don't think we're at our core insecure. We're thrilled to have you as part of our nobody told me family, and we wanna tell you about one of our sponsors, smart and sexy smart insects is the place to go when you've major plans for spring break. And now you need to figure out what to wear the people at smart and sexy know that not everyone has the same wants and needs when it comes to swim wear. But no matter what your shape or size. Is you want your swimsuit to accentuate your assets? That's why smart and sexy designs fashionable swim pieces that highlight what you love most about your body Brost ice whim tops to lift and shape. Minimum two full coverage bikini bottoms and flattering one piece suits that. Look good on everybody. Type the best part. You can get the looks. You want without going, broke, smart and sexy swimwear is all. Under twenty eight dollars and comes in over fifty sizes, even triple D bikini tops and tankinis are only twenty two twenty eight dollars. But you can do even better than that right now. Spartan sexy is offering nobody told me listeners thirty percent off their first order, just go to smarten sexy dot com to find your new favorite swimsuit and get thirty percent off your first purchase with promo code. Nobody told me that smart and sexy dot com, promo code. Nobody told me for thirty percent off today and interest in which you make in the book is that face beats fear every time explain more about that. Love the same. Fear knocked faith answered. There was no one there. Great. I haven't heard that before I really resonated with me. And it does route time still use it for myself to stay where you know. Sometimes we forget that we're not in control. Don't like I believe there's more good than bad in this world. Right. And I think life wants us to win. And it's a mentality that having phase having belief that you deserve happiness or you deserve better career,

bestself Mike bear Sally New York Times Jan black Orange County Laura I Bestself methamphetamine Sharon Osborne Bronx basketball Dr Phil supervisor California Hella Zhu Azali Regina thirty percent twenty two twenty eight dollar
"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

Nobody Told Me!

04:38 min | 2 years ago

"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

"Welcome to nobody told me. I'm Jan black. According to the centers for disease control over twenty percent of the adult population in the United States suffers from chronic pain. It's estimated that between eleven million and twenty million Americans suffer from pain. That is so severe it frequently limits, their work or life activities. Sarah, Anne, Shockley is one of those with chronic pain. She's lived with debilitating nerve pain since two thousand seven she felt isolated and alone and wished she'd had a guide to living with more ease in the midst of pain, and ultimately relieving the pain. She ended up writing such a book herself, which provides practical advice for living with chronic pain, and for relieving suffering on mental emotional and physical levels. The book is called the pain companion everyday wisdom for living with and moving beyond chronic pain. Sarah. Thank you so much for joining us. Thanks, jen. I'm delighted to be here. You've lived with chronic pain since. Two thousand seven what happened? Oh, well, I was working for someone privately in a very non office setup. And I contracted something called the Rasic outlet syndrome, which unfortunately becoming more and more prevalent. It's a collapse of the between the clavicle collarbone and the first ribs with the structural collapse in the body that can come about from too much computer, use non economic really not set up. Well, so so I was working on a computer that was too small for me. The keyboard was way too small about six feet tall. And the top of my body was collapsing unbeknownst to me all the time that I was working, and it something to be for everyone to be really aware of what happens is that those two bone structures collapse in on each other. And and unfortunately, what's going on. There is there's a lot of there's nerve ganglia. There's a large muscle from the neck that goes through there. There's veins and arteries so all of that get squeezed. And compressed. It's extremely painful and it's very debilitating. It goes into the arms and hands. It goes up into the neck and into the head and eventually goes down through the whole body to the feet. So a lot of nerve pain muscle pain, ache shooting pains and also loss of mobility. So that happened in two thousand seven as we mentioned, and I've been working with it and living with it ever since. And why did you decide to write this book? Well, I started out not thinking about writing a book. I was there. I was in a lot of pain and unable to do much. I couldn't use the computer anymore. I could barely hold a pen. But I was going through a lot of emotional problems with. Wow, how was I going to live with us? The pain wasn't going away. After a year, it became clear to me that I wasn't coming out of it. You know, when we first meet things like this. And we have a condition or an injury and. Accident illness. Whatever it is. We imagine. It's just going to heal. You know, that's what happens you, you have the flu and you get better you break your leg in at heels. And so I thought for the first year that this was going away, and it didn't and finally one of my doctors said, you know, Sarah, it's it's not going to go away. And you're going to look, you know, be looking at living with this for the rest of your life. And it could even get worse. So that sent me to kind of spiraling downward emotionally as you can imagine an- anybody that gets kind of prognosis has face the intense emotional responses to while how how do I what do I do with that? What do I do that news? And I so I this is a long answer to your question. But it is what happened is. I finally thought. Well, I can't live. Just sitting here and pain all the time. I can't deal with that. I have to find a way through this. And nothing that I was offered really helped my condition is very unusual in that whatever I did physically tended to make it worse. It didn't lend itself to physical therapy. It didn't lend itself to any kind of manipulation or chiropractic work the tissues, get more swollen and the nerves get more inflamed. The more you try to help it. So I was kind of left with not much to work with. And I thought well, I don't know I've I've

chronic pain Sarah Shockley United States Anne Jan black Rasic jen flu twenty percent six feet
"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

Nobody Told Me!

05:03 min | 2 years ago

"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

"Welcome to nobody told me. I'm Jan black. And I'm Laura Owens, let's face it. There are few things in life that are more than a broken heart doctor guy, which is the author of the new book how to fix a broken heart which aims to help people heal after a break-up or death of someone that they love. He's a licensed psychologist author and intimate. Keynote speaker who's a leading advocate for integrating the signs of emotional health into every single aspect of our daily lives. He's viral Ted talk, which is awesome. Everyone should watch. It why we all need to practice emotional. First aid has been viewed more than five million times in his rated among the top five most inspiring talks of all time on Ted dot com, which is a hell of achievement. Dr winch welcome to the show. Thank you very much for having me. So how did you become so interested in having a career dedicated to emotional science? So I'm Sakala gist. And when I got my degrees muddled that they told us that the idea. Deal was in graduate school was the scientist practitioner model, the the way you learn to be a clinician, but you become a consumer and an a creator of science as well. And that was tons out that was a lot of lip service because people chose one or the other they became conditions. Never looked at a journal again or they became scientists. And never looked at the patient again, and I actually remained to that. In some way, I became the Nisshin, but I was always reading science journals to see updates because there's so many of them. And you know, I started seeing a lot of research about the hot break. And I said the encountered that in my practice and between those two I that was heartbreak. But in general, I saw a lot of research that was about, you know, things common experiences. We all have and the research is written for other researchers it's not really user friendly full clinicians or certainly for the public, and I would translate little interventions that I could make out there and try them on my patients, and they'll be like, oh that was useful. And so I started doing that more and more. And then I started writing books to kind of bring that to the rest of the world. What was that like to to sit across from hundreds? If not thousands of patients over the years with broken hearts. It's rough. I mean, you view when you do this work, you work with people, and you will people who've been through all kinds of loss, and grief and trauma and life experiences. And and the people who come in, you know, sobbing the rise out of about much Mina more minor things sometimes, but for them the very significant. And so you have to usually find a way to manage that. Right. That you can't you can't be that bereft every day and still have a life. And so there's a, you know, the ways you you, you figure out what you can be very present for people, and and and really be there with them. But but keep you know certain level of defense up and heartbreak was one of those. It was very hard to do that with you know, like it just the role agony of people was so profound that it. It was always a little bit challenging, but I also figured the on that. Okay. If they see that I'm a little distressed by their distress. That's okay. It's a human response. It's not something something we can talk about. But it's not. Something I need to like shouli avoid doing. Why is it that broken hearts hearts so much for Mike an evolutionary standpoint? So it it's related in a way with I should say actually that the studies in the brain the brain scans the functional studies. So that really the mechanisms in the brain that are activated when we have emotional pain of very similar to the ones that get activated when we experiencing physical pain some people right that, you know, literally, the the pathways for emotional pain in the brain literally piggyback on pathways full, physical pain. So there's a big similarity with heartbreaking that kind of emotional pain. I'm not talking about this appointment or stuff like that. I'm talking about that real hurt feelings and heartbreak there's a very much similarity in one study people, even a subjects rejection experience and gave half of them. So the pills and half of them. She'll get those, but there's actually tighter and the people who Tylenol reported less emotional pain from the rejection experience. So in other words, even works with painkillers. I'm not I'm not suggesting China, notice the onset hard. It was the proof of concepts. The and it was a good proof of concept, you know, in that way. But, but there's a, you know, but in terms of Velusic rejection, always had a big causes a big sting emotionally. And the research tells us that even if there's a group of people who we despise, but they reject us we feel hurt even if we despise them. We wouldn't have hang out with them if life depended on it. But if they reject us with still going to feel hurt and so part of the curiosity. Scientists

Dr winch Laura Owens Ted Jan black scientist China Tylenol painkillers Mike
"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

Nobody Told Me!

03:44 min | 2 years ago

"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

"Welcome to nobody told me. I'm Jan black. I'm Laura Owens. Have you ever been part of a team or an organization that accomplished amazing things? Or if you've been part of a team or a group that just couldn't get its act together. What is it about the culture in some organizations that makes them toxic? And why does the culture in other groups lead to happiness and success for the answers to those questions? We turn to bestselling author Daniel Coyle whose latest book is called the culture code the secrets of highly successful groups, then thank you so much for joining us. Hey, thanks for having me and largely funded with you, the culture code is about the science of successful groups, how to build cohesive high performing culture, how did you become interested in that? You know, maybe it was growing up in a in a fun family. They was being part of dysfunctional as but actually I can trace it to a single moment. I was I was visiting this Russian tennis club. I was investigating a book on individual talent. And there was a new Claire walked onto the court. And I saw the coach walk over to that player and lean down the kid was about eight year old new tennis player. And this is a place that produce champion and said, I'm glad you're here said you do something for me. She has a little girl and the little girl nodded, and she said the teacher said catch this ball. She tossed to the ball in the little girl. Caught it, and it was like this incredible moment that had nothing to do with information or skill at everything do human connection, you know, that girl went from being an outsider to feeling connected to this family. And that's what got me interested in this because we've all had that experience of being in a place. Maybe it's a school. Maybe it's a family. Maybe it's a restaurant. Maybe it's a business. Maybe it's a team. That's got that thing, you know that. That chemistry that magical connection. And when you're around it you can it feels like magic. But when you really dig into the science of it, it's not magic, it's not magic at all. In fact, it's kinda wired in our brains to be able to do it. So I wrote a book about kind of how that happens. So what are so many of these companies doing wrong with building culture? I think a lot of it is that they're not paying attention to the way that we're really built, you know, a lot of in the business world. There's a lot of it is built around around hierarchy. And yet when you look at how we're built we're really we really don't start to function as a team until we feel really safe and connected. And so the institutions of business are not built to provide that, but businesses that do in groups that do and I spent five years visiting places like maybe seal team six and Pixar in the San Antonio, Spurs, Zappala and other high performing cultures. They all really are aligned. They've align their behaviors with the way, the brain is. Wired. I mean, they deliver a really clear signal of safety right at the beginning of relationships right at the beginning threshold moments these chemo when you get hired Pixar you walk in room. And somebody says whatever you did before. Actually, the president says he does whatever you did before you're moving maker. Now, we need you to make our films better. Then they go to a meeting every day. They have a meeting where anybody they all watch footage of what they've produced the day before you produce a few seconds of animation each day at Pixar and anybody in the company can speak up and make an improvement to call it. Plus, it's not just like the communication the words. It's the behaviors it is it is the behavior that that create that sense of connection and safety and the other thing that they don't get that's one thing to safety thing. The other thing that businesses don't get is the role of vulnerability to to really build trust you have to be vulnerable together. And yet there's so much about life and modern business where you're meant to your sort of tipped chew..

Spurs Pixar tennis Daniel Coyle Laura Owens Zappala Jan black Claire San Antonio president eight year five years
"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

Nobody Told Me!

04:53 min | 2 years ago

"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

"Welcome to nobody told me i'm jan black and i'm laura owens which describe yourself as a rebel if so you may have what it takes to become very successful our guest awardwinning harvard business school professor and behavioral scientists francesca gino has been studying rebels at organizations around the world for more than fifteen years she contends the most successful among us are those who break the rules and she shows how to do that in her new book called rebel talent why it pays to break the rules at work and in life francesca thank you so much for talking to us today thank you so much for me so talk to us a little bit about your background in what got you interested in studying rebels for many years i studied rule breaking in the more fears to people who cheat steal in lie in explore way the happened than what we're gonna dishes could do to prevent it but then in time i begin to notice a different side of rule breaking people who book the ruse end in the process they will drive in positive change these were people who are breaking lose that actually should be broken ruled that were holding them and others back so how do you define a rebel and what's the the line between being a rebel and being a troublemaker we seem to have a very thick sadie of rebel in the business world the people like apple visionary steve jobs come to mind and these are all at least the stories go are very creative very innovative but also difficult to work with sometimes described as control freaks who create kills or people that you rather not have the boss or an employee and anything we need to shift our thinking to be a rebel does not mean to be an outcome the mean to be at troublemaker effective rebel people who break rules in ways that are positive and productive so what traits do rebels share i've met rebel across the world in all sorts of businesses and what i've discovered is that they share five talent at talent for novelty italian food curiosity at talent for perspective for else intensity and for diversity and explain a little bit more about each one of those things novelty for example no it's interesting that we all tend to fall back onto our comfortable routines and what we knew in what familiar and rebelled in that really challenge in those and they go for something that is novel they always look for the new dan familiar in doing so they stay engage in whatever it is that they're doing and you talk about how rebels act with positive deviance what does that mean as i was mentioning earlier really think we think of rebel the wrong way and the book is that we were exploring brew breaking as the constructive gesture rather than a destructive force rebels people who challenge storrow schools in with the dry part of the change and to their breaking ruled in ways that yes they're deviance but the result is positive one and you mentioned with we talked about novelty being one of the five talents that rebels possessed another one that touched on his curiosity tell us about that when i studied the rebels so one of the things that i knew all of them is this dry for reality the dea is coming to situations rather than just taking things for granted it's asking questions really have that type of wonder and hall even that we used to have when we were little too but and i found it fascinating the immunizations people come in with that level of curiosity they come in curious about the job accuses about processes that are ready there and yet if you go back to the same people six to eight months later that curiosity assertive as in ship down for many of them and why is that curiosity such a king greedy and to to not only keep engage in what we do but also the key to be innovative and creative and what about perspective we all tend to have wait looking at the world or looking at problem from one angle it's usually our own angle own perspective rebels of the way of looking at problems and really approach them by asking what it is that we could be doing so they look at all sorts of options of alternative beautifully example the example of captain sally solemn burger who in cool evening.

fifteen years eight months
"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

Nobody Told Me!

02:43 min | 2 years ago

"jan black" Discussed on Nobody Told Me!

"Welcome to nobody told me i'm jan black and i'm laura owens joining us on this episode is carol roth who's a well known advocate for entrepreneurship and small businesses she's the creator of the future file legacy planning system a billion dollar deal maker bestselling author and tv host she's also the author of the bestselling book the entrepreneur acquaintan cheryl thank you so much for joining us it is so pan pastic to be here with both of your merely looking forward to that well we're excited to talk with you and wonder if you could tell us more about your background how you got to where you are today oh goodness well that's a that's a crazy situation i would go back and say that i had no chance to be normal because i was born to mom who had martha stewart cross was share and adad that would have mobster have jewish grandmothers i'm the normal one in the family but there wasn't sort of a lot of neither of my parents graduated from college so i ended up being the first person in my family to go to school and got myself into warton undergrad top business undergraduate program in the country and went to my union electric and father and said you know i'm i'm going to the school and he was like i have no idea how you're paying for it and i watch him through the whole thing when's school got my forty thousand dollars in college debt which today sounds like not a lot but back in nineteen ninety five about the equivalent of one hundred twenty thousand dollars a day and decided i had to pay that up quickly because that is one of the lessons and so i became an investment banker i kind of always felt like there were two options either consultant for the people who like to deep dive into something and investment banking for those who had add and since i clearly had add and i work on twelve deals at one time that was going to be my route but i never really wanted to be the world best investment banker and you kind of did that for the money and the financial stability and to to create that foundation and get a lot of great experience and so over the years just kept trying to figure out what i wanted to do when i grew up never really figured it out but became a collector of periences and so you know from that time from you know now being recovering investment banker 'cause it's sort of a twelve step program that you don't really get out of yeah as you mentioned have done your best selling book i've been a reality tv show judge for our mark burnett reality show that was on tv out have hosted radio i've been a tv contributor i've.

laura owens carol roth investment banker consultant martha stewart mark burnett one hundred twenty thousand do forty thousand dollars billion dollar