20 Burst results for "Hillary Frank"
"hillary frank" Discussed on With Whit
"And to be like removing most color all over himself and like if you WanNa go in the backyard and there's a puddle like you WanNa roll around in it and I'm going to have to give you a bath like I have the time to give you a bath now like I. I might be wooden of under normal circumstances but like go nuts in the puddle. Yes there's one couple who told me that their daughter did not like going on fights toddlers and in order to bribe her to go on hikes with them. They would say you go on height. You can use all the lipstick watch and so like she just going emerged from the woods. You Know Red Lipstick all over her face. I feel like there's something I should do. Cassini's really interested in my makeup. An actually saw my friend shoutout to Emily Schulman that she let her daughter go into her makeup kit and do her makeup and granted. Our daughter's like five years old and so she had a lot more fun with it but sunny. I feel like if I could just get some things that I didn't care about. And just let him like painter faces that he would have a lot of fun doing that and now a word from our sponsor worby Parker is an amazing eyewear company. They are so fresh so innovative and they have founded this really like kind of rebellious spirit in the lofty goal which is to create boutique. Quality Eyewear at Revolutionary Price. Point something that we on need. We all want stylish. Sunglasses was super good quality but we want them to be affordable and accessible because this is something that we need on a daily basis. They offer eyeglasses sunglasses contact lenses and eye exams so they are super committed to providing exceptional vision care online and in stores their glasses start at ninety five dollars and that includes prescription lenses sunglasses. Progressives and blue light lenses are also available you take a quiz and you order a home triumph kit. Basically I did this. I got a bunch of different classes that I thought would look good on me. Two of them actually did but it was just great because you have time to actually try them on and then have a personalized experience. You only get what actually fits your face and style and that's especially helpful now when we can't necessarily get into the store and try everything on the home triumph. Kit is really really really great tribe. Worby Parker's Free Home Triumph Program. You order five losses. Try at home for free for five days. There is no obligation to buy ships free and includes a prepaid return label so to do this. Try Five pairs of glasses at home for free at where we parker dot com slash with it again. That's worry Parker Dot com slash with wit and now back to our chat. I know that it's probably different for different age ranges. But what kind of advice would you give to parents on how they should be talking to their kids about? What's going on man? I mean I feel like I need help with this one. Jim I have like. I haven't used obsessed kid and his point and that's how I can tell you some of the things that people said about dealing with fears in general like for little kids it always seems leg and a beam was having an object at made them feel like they were more in control. I think all of these things are about like feeling a little more in control in times when you feel out of control so like for kids who are scared of getting a shot. One found that putting putting like party's gone made them feel less scared on or turning spatula into a magic wand and making monsters go away I think for kids who are a little older media even for little kids. This was an idea at late. One mom talked about how her really ancient Is like talking about all the scary thought? She was having night and so they would you this thing where instead of trying to repress all of those thoughts she would have the kids say then all say everything again it all and then front lit into an imaginary ball. Kick Ball June imaginary dumpster in the sky. So it's it's gone. It's in the dumpster for the night. And then you fill your head with a good thoughts and you save those out. And that's what you have in your head when you go to sleep stretched really any any attempt to deal with. The problem might be the right solution to it and like trial and errors important and don't be afraid to try something out of the box because it just might work for you and your kid. Yeah I mean we send. He's been waking up in the middle of the night which is out of the norm and we sort of have discussed. May maybe he feels something I mean. He has to feel something he can tell. He's not going to school. He'd asked his friends are. He asked where his family is. He one day asked me. Where did the world to go? And so when he wakes up in the middle of the night and he screams for us like usually we were taught to Kinda. Just leave him to help himself sued than lately. We've been going in and giving a bottle or trying to talk to him and telling him that everything's GonNa be okay. Just because we feel like he is getting that something up for parents to just really trust their gut and do whatever feels right for them in the moment and not to worry about how this is going to mess them up in the long run because leg will work through that once we have to. I always think about like finding the balance of like the truth soon. Not GonNa sit him down and explain that. There's a pandemic going around. He's two and a half. He's not gonNA understand like some version of the truth. That maybe can understand what you're going to like terrify him too much but also but I. I don't feel comfortable. We met a friend on a walk and he kept trying to go towards a friend and his friend. Who's like I might friend was? He can't come near me. I'm dirty and I don't know that didn't really sit well with me because you're not dirty and I don't want him to earth like that but for afraid of people like we just don't want him to have that fear and then to have this thing that like people are constantly telling him no go away like have a compliment from that. So it's just it's difficult because I can and Blake would just for social distancing. What's that mean? What do you and this is timmy. Just while we're on topic like what? What do you say to him? What have you said to him? I say like you know sunny. There's there's there's something going on right now and for a little while we just. We have to stay away from people that are aren't Mommy and daddy and like I know it's strange but it's not gonNA last hunnings. Things will get back to normal but for right now like you you have to. You have to stay a little bit away from people. That's about as much of an explanation as a jet into same. I have no idea. That's right or wrong. Higher eight amazing and this has been so so helpful. I'm so grateful that we got to chat with you. I'm sorry it's under these circumstances but I know so. Many parents will be so grateful for this. Oh It's been a pleasure Too so where. Can everyone find you and get your book? You can find me on Instagram at. This is Hillary might hot. Chaz is the longest shortest time you can find in any PODCAST APP or at longest shortest time dot com the book. Weird parenting wins. You can get Wherever you're books. Thank you guys so much for listening. I hope you loved this episode. Don't forget to subscribe rate and review. I'd love to hear what you think and anything more or even less you'd want to hear about tune in every Tuesday for a new episode. If you want to know more about what I'm up to you can find me on Instagram at Whitney. E or my website Whitney Port Dot Com and my youtube channel Whitney port piece in the streets..
"hillary frank" Discussed on With Whit
"The foaming podcast is a deer media. Production Hey guys. I'm Whitney port and this with wet. A lot of you may know me from reality. Tv and the reality is a lot's happened since the hills with the which is dedicated to having real raw and occasionally ridiculous conversations with the people who have had a profound impact on me. Life changing moments life-changing people because on with web very little is off limits. Hi guys welcome to with what we are doing. A new series called staying home with with in these episodes I will be giving you guys updates on her quarantine and interviewing guests who can provide some advice on how to handle this unprecedented time. One of the obstacles to me and I are facing right now is adjusting to the new norm of having sunny out of school like everyone else. We are now having to come up with new ways to teach and entertain sunny all day while at the same time making time to keep our house in order. Cook Take Care of ourselves individuals as a couple get work done etcetera etcetera. You guys know exactly what I'm talking about my guest today is Hillary Frank and I am so relieved and excited that we are able to chat with her today. Hillary began her career as a contributor on this American life. And is the creator of the podcast the longest shortest time. She's also the author of weird parenting wins which was an NPR best book of Two Thousand Nineteen. She sheds light on the fact that sometimes the most effective parenting strategies often don't come from gurus but from real parents getting creative in moments of desperation which is especially useful during Kobe. She is joining us today to discuss parenting winds. In addition to tips and tricks. We can use to stay sane during this time. Please welcome Hillary to the show. Let's just get into who you are and how you got into the field you know like not only professionally but as a parent you know. How many kids do you have your whole deal in two thousand ten? I had a baby and I've got a really rough childbirth in recovery and I was just having a hard time connecting with her parents and we had just moved to newtown renew. Nobody he and I had to spend the first shoot amongst of her life. This is going to sound like everybody's new normal but usually usually. It's unsurprising so I had to spend the first two months of her life cooped up in my house on An air mattress in our living room. Because I couldn't manage the stairs after Mike Childbirth injury and I used to be able to get from bed to the bathroom easily so we spent moves pursue few months in bed basically and I was in the water and I actually didn't get my injury completely fix for the first three years of her life. Because I couldn't find the help that I needed to get that fixed. So you know that impacted my life in a lot of ways and when she was almost a year old. I just really felt like there weren't a lot of books out there or shows or anything that was reflecting my real experience as a new mom and so I knew from my experience. As a radio reporter Edgy. Stick microphone in. Somebody's face you're more likely to get an honest answer from them and if you were just to talk to them on the street in so I started this podcast the longest shortest time where I would interview at different Karen for every show about some struggle that they had gone through and like how they got through it so that was before podcasting was really the big thing that it is now and so at persuaded independently for three years and then I did a kick starter that was really successful and I got picked up by. Wnyc later when she stitcher network amazing. That's really incredible. I mean that's very similar to kind of what we have tried to do when I was really sick like and not feeling my best when I was pregnant. Timmy put a camera in my face and was like. If you're feeling like this there must be so many other people feeling like this. And that's what has like established basically my whole career now. But it's so cool that you're able to talk to so many different women and probably help so many different women who feel so alone similarly like we. We weren't experts in the field. So you're only subject matter that we could you know reliably talk about was our own and it seemed to resonate with people like even the smallest details with our just particular. Our situation seemed to apply to more people than than we would have anticipated. Sorta seems to be like you know in line with your philosophy. Yeah it was shocking to me. How quickly show resonated with so many people and at the end of the first show every show after that. I would tell people that they could send me surprising. Struggles in parented and out consider having them on the show and right away. I started hearing from strangers. It just blew me away you know. When I first became apparent I was reading a lot of books by experts because I was having a lot of the typical problems that people have when they become a parent so for example it might lose a baby. I couldn't figure out how to get her to stop crying. I couldn't figure out how to get her to latch to breastfeed. I couldn't figure out how to get her to sleep. And I was turned into books for those things and the books are written in such an authority to way. They're like you know my way or the highway style and I was finding that a lot of these techniques that were in the books weren't working for me and it made me feel like a failure and it made me feel. There must be something wrong with me or something wrong with my baby are both because why weren't these things working when experts said this is the way to get your baby to go to sleep and the truth is that every kid is different. Every parent is different. We all have different beliefs and ways of connecting your children and what I found was the things that really worked for me. Were things I founded books. They were things that I invented myself in moments of desperation or that I heard from friends and it didn't occur to me right away. I I was winning. It made it me feel like I was failing because I felt like I was doing it right right like you weren't doing it the way that you had read exactly right and it's hard to find that confidence within yourself even though it is personal win. If it's not the norm what everybody else does than you think. Somehow you've done it wrong. That's right and I think actually the norm might be that the things you're eating the bugs aren't really working for the majority of people. All right the norm as we all do it in some different way and whatever works for us is what works exactly right. Yeah I mean it's so hard to write any kind of like parenting expert book just because like you said I mean. Every child is so different like their personality. What their parents are so different and how they what feels right to them. Their environments are so different access to things so different is just like I don't know it's it's hard to really trust a lot of experts and I can imagine especially in two thousand and ten when there wasn't such an open forum like social media around when really all you had to turn to worthies experts. You didn't have like this really supportive community of mothers. That are trying to normalize things and make everyone's journey feel okay. Exactly and now word from our sponsor Sephora knows makeup it's been in their DNA since day one from the contouring trend to the fence beauty frenzy to Sa- four years lipstick pay ground. Their latest obsession is clean makeup. When they saw the newest wave of clean uncompromising and it's globe giving pigment rich stay all day glory. 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"hillary frank" Discussed on Longform Podcast
"Said, no, I one of the most prominent podcasters because I think people stop seeing you as a professional and to see you as a mom when you're talking about motherhood. Do you think that's happening for you less now? Nope. I think I am better able to call people out on it. Now, just like slide in the copy of your up. Basically, I had I had this thing happen with the gist. And they wanna like profit by saying they fixed it and exactly the way that they should have. But you know, I got. I interviewed they posted the interview, and I was going to go share it. And then I looked and saw that the way they described me in the promo copy was professional, mom, Hillary, Frank. And I was like, wait. I can't guys I can't promote this. It's it's like, it's condescending. But also, it's inaccurate like, nobody's a professional mom. This just isn't a thing. And they said, well, if we're going to change it we have to issue, a formal correction, and isn't that just going to call more attention to it? And I was like, well, maybe we should. And so they did the right thing. And they changed it. And they issued a correction and said something like this post previously referred to Hillary Frank as a professional mom. She is an author. That's pretty good. Yeah. Feeling that sentence like framed somewhere? So I mean, you know, that was written by a relatively young producer. And I feel like, you know, he learned from that maybe that staff. Learn from the mistake and maybe because I corrected him. Maybe fewer people will make that mistake. This like issue that you find yourself speaking on behalf of is this gonna be what you do with the rest of your life. Is this going to be your thing? Now. No. I don't want it to be my thing. I feel like I've done my part on it. And I'm feeling like I'm winding down on parenthood on parenthood. Yeah. Yeah. I've talked about a long time author author of weird parenting wins Hillary Frank is winding down on parented. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like, you know, it's been an amazing thing to report on. And I don't know exactly what I'm going to do next. But I did step back from hosting the show because because I didn't want to be hosting the show anymore. And I I wanted to work on the book. But I also before I did the longest shortest time. I had a beat. I was on the teen beat like I was doing I wrote young adult novels, and I did a lot of reporting on teens, and I'm sort of feeling poll in that direction. Just going to report like along the lifespan of your daughter. Yeah. No, no. But I feel uncomfortable being like. Like the mother, but people tell me sometimes like, I'm being professional mom. I know mom people tell me sometimes. And it's, you know, it's meant to be a compliment that like I have the mother of all mom podcasts. You know? But I just I don't I think I wanna step out of the mom role a bit at least professionally professionally. Well before you move into like your teenage. Dotage? Feel like which book for a second. Can you give me can you? Give me the jets can give me the the spiel here about the book. Yeah. So you know, when I became a parent, I read a lot of bucks, and I felt like the things that the experts had to say sometimes worked and then a lotta times they didn't. And when they didn't I felt like a failure. And I felt like there must be something wrong with me. There must be something wrong with my kid. Why aren't these things working? And then when I became a more experienced parent a couple years in realized that the things that did work for me were things I just invented in moments of desperation like out of thin air, and I asked the longest shortest time audience if they had things like this, and they did and the things that came in were hilarious. They were things like, you know, the dad who pigs Nord it in his babies ear to get her. Stop crying or the couple who in order to create white noise would take turns. Charging their electric toothbrushes and conducting the baby to sleep buzzing. And I thought you know, we gotta collect these things. And I didn't know what they.
"hillary frank" Discussed on Longform Podcast
"I had recorded her asking would you rather 's and they were really funny, and I used them as a test for Andrea lake Hayes her. Her you know, and this like would you rather eat a skunk or poop in front of a thousand people? See it's a good one. But she thought she was like what I thought you were just recording me for us. And so I I think I put her on after that. But she knew, but I've been really careful about it. Do you feel any tension between your chosen like repetory oil profession and your desire to keep most of your personal life to yourself? No, I I don't feel tension between that I I feel like they're two different things. You know, like, it's a beat that. I have reported on a lot. But like I said, it's very rarely about myself. So I'm usually telling stories about other people, and I don't feel like that means I need to. I don't feel like having chosen to report on parenthood means that I need to share my own parenting life. But I also think there are certain people who think I owe them that I owe the audience talking more about my personal life, and this is actually something I talked about in the New York Times piece also. There was a guy who interviewed me for his podcast. And he is giving me a hard time about not talking about why I had an only child, and I was like, well, that's not that's not something. I wanna talk about and I shouldn't have to. And he was like, I guess it's just because you know, you're one of the most prominent moms out there. And I was like, well what I said in the piece was like, I wish I had said, no, I one of the most prominent podcasters because I think people stop seeing you as a professional and to see you as a mom when you're talking about motherhood. Do you think that's happening for you less now? Nope. I think I am better able to call people out on it. Now, just like slide in the copy of.
Childbirth injury led a new mom to start a parenting podcast 'To Feel Less Alone'
"But I remember all the kind of parenting books before feminism were so conforming to gender stereotypes and have so many assumptions of what a woman's life was like of what a mother's life was like. And that thankfully, I think has largely changed. And I think like your podcast moved things even more forward with that. I think that there's something implicitly feminist about your podcast. Yeah. I mean, I think people started telling me that after I started making it, and I I am braced it, I embraced the term. But I also I feel like it shouldn't have to be such a push to get stories about the health of mothers onto a platform. Like NPR? You have a lot of stories in your book collected from other mothers who've had to come up with ways to like sue their children, or, you know, get them to eat or potty train them. Is there a story that you heard from another mother that you tried and that actually worked for you? Yeah. So there is a story. There's there's a game that a made up called what's on my butt. And the way you play is when you feel like you just need a break and your kid feels like they wanna play you lie face down on the couch, and you tell your kid like to go find some random object around the house put it on your butt, and you have to guess what it is. And I play this with my daughter, and it allows me to refuel. Do you? Guess right. Now, it's impossible to guess, right? Then you have to who puts it away you or your daughter. She s put it away. That's a good. That's a good rule by some more time. So your daughter Sasha is around nine. Yes, she's turning nine next month. So she could probably read a little bit now. Yeah. Yeah. So are you turning a corner in terms of having to be careful about what you say, you're in fact, your life as a parent or about her as a daughter because she can comprehend what you're communicating now. Yeah. Well, she picked up my book when it when it arrived, and she wanted to read it and at first I was like. Yeah. Cool. And then I realized oh, no. You can't read that. There's stuff in there. That's not age appropriate for you. And also, you might learn something about yourself that. I'd rather see you rather than having read it. So she's she's not happy that I haven't let her read it yet. But I've read her bits, and I think she'll learn a little bit at a time as she gets older Hillary, it's really been great to have this opportunity to talk with you. Thank you. For being so personal forthcoming not only in our interview. But in your writing, and in your podcast, I think it's really valuable work. Thank you so much. Thanks, terry. This has been a real pleasure. Hillary Frank is the author of the new book weird parenting wins. She's also the creator executive producer and former host of the podcast, the longest shortest time. After we take a short break. Maureen Corrigan will review a new feminist distortion novel. This is fresh air. This is fresh air. British writers, Sophie, Macintoshes debut novel. The water cure was long listed for the twenty eighteen man Booker prize. Our book critic Maureen Corrigan says given that the water cure is an other worldly feminist nightmare. It might just suit the mood of our times. Here's a review, my tastes doesn't naturally gravitate toward feminists dystopia and fiction, but such stories are ubiquitous these days their influence seeps far beyond the classic novel and Hulu series of Margaret Atwood's the Handmaid's tale as well as the literary fiction.
"hillary frank" Discussed on Fresh Air
"Blindfolded, Sandra. Bullock, handedly leads to young children to a safe zone, even as they're pursued by an unseen force. That's wiping out the population as Christmas Eve Ewing. It wasn't exactly. It's a wonderful life the next morning. One of the gifts. My daughter received was the board game pandemic in which players fight four simultaneous deadly infections around the world. While it's not a feminist game per se the cover of the game box. Features an outsized image of a female doctor in glowing white lab coat prime to save the planet and. Already. The drumbeat of anticipation has begun for the publishing event of twenty nineteen the sequel to Atwood's Handmaid's tale called the testaments which will come out this September surrendering to the zeitgeist. I picked sofi Macintoshes acclaimed debut novel the water cure as my I read of twenty nineteen. It's a feminist distortion fairytale evocative suspenseful and bleak in short everything this age seems to be demanding three grown sisters, and their parents live on what appears to be a remote and very hot island their home. A decrepit hotel faces the sea behind it lies afforest that the father named king has ringed with barbed wire the world beyond his toxic and the men who run that world. Are swelled up with a proprietary violence long ago? So called damaged women from the mainland which turn up on the island there. The mother would subject them to strange purifying rituals, like the water cure, and the drowning game involving chug logging and being forcibly submerged in salt water, but things got out of control and some of the damaged women died for years now, it's just been the nuclear family on that island shortly after the story opens, However, King himself disappears. The three sisters and their mother are left to fend for themselves, even as two men and a boy from the mainland wash up on shore. The rest of the novel describes the week that follows into which MacIntosh artfully jams, a sexual coming of age story and to survival of the fittest. Tale in which that seaside hotel turns into a gory version of clue game board, the three sisters and their mother. Take turns narrating the story. But our main narrator is the middle sister Leah. It's her voice sensitive needy, and ultimately angry that makes the world of the water cure come to life as the men increasingly make their selves at home in the hotel scattering, dirty dishes and garbage in their wake MacIntosh subtly increases, the menace in the atmosphere. Some words written by one of the damaged women who stayed at the hotel echo throughout the climactic final section of this novel in the macabre kind of guestbook that women wrote. I was so innocent. I didn't understand how rapidly things had changed. I didn't know that. There was no longer any need for them. Men to hold their bodies in check or to carry on the law that we women mattered. The water cure is both other-worldly and very much of this world in its steep pessimism about the fate of the planet as well as the fate of equitable relations between men and women. It's not a pretty or uplifting novel, but it's affected. And clearly it's the kind of story that McIntosh and a lot of other authors feel they need to be writing. And we need to be reading right now marine Corrigan teaches literature at Georgetown University. She reviewed the water cure by Sophie McIntosh tomorrow on fresh air. My guest will be Ben Stiller he directed the Showtime series escape at Dan Amora based on the true story of two prisoners in a New York maximum security prison who escaped with the help of a woman who worked there they traded sex for favors Patricia Arquette just won a Golden Globe for her performance. Stiller has also been playing Michael Cohen. On Saturday Night Live. I hope you'll join us fresh Air's executive producers, Danny Miller, our technical director and engineer as Bentham our associate producer of digital media is Molly seavy nesper. Roberta shorrock directs the show. I'm Terry gross.
"hillary frank" Discussed on Fresh Air
"Cycle, you can find how I built this wherever you listen to podcasts. Hillary Frank is the author of the new book weird parenting wins series. Knight wrote, a near York Times op-ed that was titled the special misogyny reserved for mothers. So do you feel like you've experienced a certain form of misogyny because you're a mother? Yes. For example, when I started pitching, my podcast around to people in public radio, one of the first comments, I got about why none of these stories could go on the radio is that. I sounded like a little girl. Now, I have a kind of deep voice of always had a deep voice, even when I was a little girl. Like, I I don't think I sounded like a little girl. And it was a shocking thing to hear. The only time I've been harassed at work was when a guy who I didn't know pulled me aside at a conference he appeared to be drunk and started screaming in my face that. Well, he he identified me as as the baby lady and told me he was gonna take me upstairs and give me a baby that night that was a space in which I'd been to that conference many many years and always felt safe, and I don't feel safe going to it anymore. I guess like I had gotten to a point by the time. I started this podcast where I felt like I was sort of reaching like I had risen in the ranks leg. I sort of like at a pinnacle of my career and felt pretty well respected by my colleagues, and I suddenly started feeling little by little very disrespected. And I don't think I put it all together that it was misogyny. Against me as a mom until I sort of like looked at it all as a whole. There was a time. I went I went out for lunch with a friend and just went on this rant. And he was like you've got a you got to make the synoptic head. And I was like no I couldn't possibly because it would just get me in trouble, and I'll never work again. And I sat on it for a while. And ultimately decided to write the piece in your New York Times up. Ed, you wrote about what you see as a double standard in terms of radio reporting about reporting on erectile dysfunction and biogra- and an other drugs to treat it versus childbirth injuries and problems with sex after childbirth injuries make that comparison for us. Yeah. So I was told when I wanted to do a story about investigating. Why so many women just live with childbirth injuries and give up on having sex life. I wanted to do a story about that. In like, how women could find public floor physical therapy more easily? I was told that we couldn't put that on the radio because we couldn't talk about sex. And at the time when I was told these things I thought, oh, okay. That's a bummer. And then I sat on it for a while. And I thought about it. And I remembered hearing stories about Viagra on the radio. So I did a search for erectile in the NPR website and it turned up lots of articles on erectile dysfunction, and then at least three big radio stories on via. Geography, which occasionally talk kind of explicitly about arousal. I mean, you can't talk about Viagra without talking about what it's for. And I felt like it was a real double standard. Because when you're talking about impotence you're talking about about a problem with arousal when you're talking about childbirth injuries. You're talking about a real health issue you talking about chronic lane. Yeah. You right that when you started in radio, you say if you ask me, then if I was a feminist I might have shrugged and said, I don't know to be honest..
"hillary frank" Discussed on Fresh Air
"When you transferred to podcasts from radio in the sense that on radio the language that you can use to describe, you know, sex childbirth or are injury is so limited because of FCC regulations, there's a lot that you can't say because it's broadcasting whereas you could say, whatever you want to to your guests could say, whatever they want to in terms of the language that they used when once you were doing podcasts and. Yeah. And and, you know, particularly when you're talking about, for instance, like sex after childbirth or just like the physical process of childbirth itself. There's there's language that you just. You can't use on the radio. Yeah. I mean, I think at first I was so used to doing things on the terrestrial radio way that I didn't even realize the options that were available to me other than like the random curse word here. And there, and then, you know, a friend said to me, well, if you're really if you're really gonna talk about parenthood, you're going to have to talk about sex, and I was like, no. I couldn't I can't. And then I thought oh we have to we should. And I was at that time based at WNYC, which you know, is is a is a public radio station, and but but I was doing a podcast with them. And so I did have this freedom. And so I decided well, we're going to go for it. We're going to do a sex and parenthood series, and they had to create on the back end of their web platform. They had to create an explicit button for me. So that we could do this label the episodes explicit. And that felt like an achievement. Right. Well, I wanna take a short break here. And there's lots more to talk about when we come back. I want to ask you about a New York Times up Ed piece that you just wrote. So we'll be right back after a short break. If you're just joining us, my guest is Hillary Frank, and she is the creator of the podcast, the longest shortest time about childbirth and parenting and her new book is about unusual parenting strategies. And it's called weird parenting wins we'll be right back..
"hillary frank" Discussed on Fresh Air
"Oh, gee. Yeah. Yeah. So finally, you went to a doctor who had it sounded like you went to two people whose seem to have like reasonable approaches. Yeah. So I finally found a doctor who really listened to me took a look at me told me that I looked like I wasn't put together. Exactly. Right. And she was like, but there are things you can do there's two things you can do. She said you can get pelvic floor physical therapy, which is just like regular physical therapy. But for that part of your body, and you can also see a surgeon who can help you who who had actually been her mentor. And so I went to both of these people I needed the combination of the two of them and after this was three years after I had given birth. I went through these procedures for a few months, and I was. Clearly healed. So you will through three years of not really understanding what was wrong with you an knowing how to fix it and being in a lot of pain, and I just want to remind parents of young children were having dealt conversation about childbirth. So it's not like it was a localized injury. And everything else is great because when you have an injury, that's so central it affects everything can you talk a little bit about how other aspects of your life were affected because of the childbirth injury. Yeah. So on unlike are just a purely physical level I had to sit in a certain way in order to avoid being in pain when I was seated, and it gave me chronic pain in my hip, and it made it difficult for me to even sit cross legged so just on that kind of level. It affected me on a daily basis. It also psychologically just made me walk around. Feeling like there was something wrong with me. It made me feel pretty dead inside. And it like effected how I talked to people. I feel like I was more withdrawn, and then on a on a personal level it really affected. My like my private life with my husband doesn't sound like you'd be wanting to have sex sex was difficult painful. Yeah. So how did it feel when you started your podcast and longest shortest time to be able to talk about this in a public way with other women who experienced similar childbirth injuries. 'cause I consider your podcast like a breakthrough. I don't have children as you know. But you know, I still found the podcast fascinating. Because I hadn't heard women talk. Like this about a subject that women have been so guarded about. I kind of felt like your podcast was giving women permission to no longer keep these. Injuries and other childbirth experiences a secret. Yeah. I don't know if I was thinking about it exactly that way, I think I was just thinking about it. You know, because at that time podcasting wasn't as big as it is. Now like, you have to remember like when this came out at the end of two thousand ten I didn't think there's going to be a big audience for this. I was really doing this for myself. I I was doing it to feel personally less alone. And I was pleasantly surprised when it turned out that it that it made other people feel less alone. But we're in a different podcasting landscape now and people really think about what they're doing when they launched one for me. It was just I was sitting literally in my bedroom with a microphone talking to other moms while trying to line up our conversations while both of our kids were napping for twenty minutes. My guest is Hillary Frank. Creator and former host of the podcast, the longest shortest time. And author of the new book weird parenting winds after a break will discuss what she describes as the special kind of misogyny reserved for mothers, and Maureen Corrigan will review a new feminist distortion novel. I'm Terry gross. And this is fresh air support for this podcast and the following message. Come from duck, duck go in a time when some big tech companies are surveilling your every move online. Duck duck. Go has a private search engine that allows people to search without being tracked, plus their mobile, apps and browser extensions. Block sketchy add trackers across the web. Visit duck duck go dot com slash listen to take back your privacy..
"hillary frank" Discussed on Fresh Air
"Your door to Sasha, and I knew you had a child birth injury. But I didn't really know what it was. But I didn't know that for a while you were in serious pain. It was wild. Before you could walk. And I knew that Jonathan was worried about you. This isn't the kind of thing you ask someone about unless you really know them. Well, and even then it might be too personal to discuss. Is it something that you found difficult or even embarrassing to talk about before you started your podcast? We you spoke so openly and wonderfully and honestly about these kinds of issues sharing your stories with other women and having other women and other experts share their stories with you. You know, I think I was desperate to find other people who were willing to talk about this stuff openly. I think there's kind of a girl culture that you get used to growing up as a girl and a young woman where you can really talk openly about your body, if you have the right kind of friends who are into that kind of thing, and like dating, and and lots of really personal things. And then it seemed that once I became a mother that stopped. And it seemed like if I had gotten injured that severely on any other part of my body. Of course, I would have been talking about it with my friends, and I would have been talking about it with people. I knew maybe as well as I knew you. But because it was in a private part of my body. I couldn't. So what did you go into childbirth hoping for and expecting? So I went into childbirth hoping that I would have a quote unquote, natural birth. I wanted to not have any drugs. I didn't want an EPA Jural. I didn't want any surgery. I didn't wanna see section, and I had been reading, you know, books by the famous midwife Aina make Askin and she made natural childbirth sound not only very possible. But like an ecstatic.
"hillary frank" Discussed on WGN Radio
"Same familiar things began to happen all over again. What do you want? I'm here to tell you about the trouble, MRs Kennedy, Hillary Franks gave it all away. What away who's Hillary Frank? What are you talking about about that insurance policy that was written up and issued in your brother's name? You're the one who stood to gain most by your brother's death after having someone else taken insurance examination forum. But you had to have help to pull it off. Franks helped you what reason or how you're going to do it? I don't know. But I do know a man with a seventeen year record is insurance broker is ROY you're crazy. I don't know anybody named Hillary Franks get out I told him. I we stood in this matter a half hour Ghani socked me with a paperweight and feed it I've had about enough what he was gonna run far principally because he doesn't know how to run Kennedy. He'll call and he'll begin thinking about all this business in new light. A few minutes to go it dawned on him what he'd done. Kicked his whole lifetime right out the window. He'd been found out. He's lost all around. And he's gonna be mad about that. And you're the one who's going to be mad at because you've got into it. I told you I don't know anybody named Hillary Franks. That's the last time. I'll say it. He'll probably want to kid. You MRs Kennedy? Right. I said he'll think about all this, and he'll probably want to kill you. We talk now. I don't see why I've done nothing wrong. What did you get to take that physical for your brother? I don't know what you're talking about your brother drunk enough to sign the insurance papers. Didn't you? I had nothing to do with my brother taking out life insurance and naming me has been officially that was his business now that he's dead. It's my position to receive the payment. That's all. Okay. Mrs kennedy. We'll get it all from Hillary Frank. Why don't you do that? In the meantime, I hope you sleep. Well, knowing what you've done you'll never be able to prove any of these things you're saying never. And for.
"hillary frank" Discussed on WBT Charlotte News Talk
"President that fat change wants to the person is elected you see trump is being accused of having had discussions with the russians through flynn and his son in law between the time he was elected and the time when he was inaugurated and this is being treated as treason but the truth is is that every american president modern history did it nixon sacked kissinger to do it with the rush llamas sent michael mcfaul to do it with the russian this is established practice what would have happened had vladimir putin before the election long wall trump was just to candidate or even hillary frank he comes forward holds a news conference covered by the world and simply says i am endorsing soandso because i think i can work with that individual we can build a better world with that person i feel safe with that person we don't have to deal with the cold war i'm endorsing that person what's wrong with that i can give you a precise after because i bet he this for years first of all had putin may vary escape i endorsed trump i endorse clinton it would have arkwright candidate now younger quote you really think so absolutely secondly got president russia would have been sharply criticised by his own policy class for violating a longstanding soviet and russian principally don't get involved in american elections now with what i just said though dozen that makes sense nor would you advise me who if you if you were running for president i would advise you to speak candidly about what you would do when elected president but i would advise you against having direct ties in going over ira vedial after the electric adjusting back how this greek kid and dry us right pumping graves got in trouble the you know the guy who was sort of a second or wayne yeah trumpet i guess i'm just to open steve yeah but you can see why that not a good idea i mean if obama was in charge of american foreign policy and he should not having a constitution says the only he and the congress have the right to do that there are no i don't have any objection what it i want to emphasize this because it's a major allegation of russia gate against trump that after he was elected me emphasize he was president elect that his man general flynn spoke.
"hillary frank" Discussed on KQED Radio
"This year's honorable mention award went to a story from the podcast the longest shortest time this episode is one of a series chronicling the lives of a gay couple trysted in death who become adoptive parents literally overnight and then after a few years and much soulsearching decide to try and have a biological child is well this was possible because christon is transgender and still had his uterus after their first pregnancy ended in miscarriage we pick up their story well into tryst in second pregnancy here's tristan biff and host hillary frank okay here we go so this transcendent i'm here with beth belo please guy cut that out fleas at of that part this of course is trysted in bed now just an ambitious have similar voices but they have very different dispositions especially when it comes to the subject of trust in getting pregnant tristan had been fantasizing about it since long before the first pregnancy eucanada want someone to like turn around and start to cry and like pick you up and be like of course i would love to make a baby with you yeah but you know tristan has all sorts of fantasies all sorts of things tristan's a dreamer and i'm i'm a realist eventually did come around to the idea got pretty invested in actually that was one of the reasons that tristan's miscarriage was so hard for both of them after they lost the baby biff was shaken and he wanted to wait a year before trying again to give both of them a.
"hillary frank" Discussed on The Longest Shortest Time
"This podcast is produced by me hillary frank with kristin clark we had production help today from jackie cdc oh we are edited by peter cloudy our engineers are peak karem and jared o'connell our technical director is the reverend john's a lawyer our music is performed by hot moms that gove and directed by allison leaking brown we get editorial support from ameri of all denardo antoniak attuned day and rica murthy next week on the longest shortest time we'll talk to two comedians about the grueling painful and whole areas experience of infertility through gritted misinformed term work where the robots very soon at an excitement guys don't miss this show i swear it is super funny subscribed to the long shortest time in stitcher or apple podcast or wherever you like and as always we want to hear anything surprising you have to tell us about your parents or your kids right now we're collecting stories about being sexually harassed as a mom like maybe because you a mom it's a thing i've experienced and maybe you have two hashtag moms too tell us about it go to longest shortest time dotcom hit the participate tab and submit your story this is katie couric here to tell you about the latest episode my podcast have you ever heard someone say i just condo to my house well you're not talking about their condo they're talking about marie condo she in fact has made condo wing a verb she talks about learning how to we things out of your life i have a real problem with this people i don't know if you're like me i'm a borderline horter so this was very instructive for me so in a way meri's that therapists do so this through look let's get on this gives it's true uh i do you know what i'm actually doing is the tidying cleaning that when we look at the results i'm often doing something more psychological as well.
"hillary frank" Discussed on Katie Couric
"This is the longest shortest time i'm hillary frank and this episode is the first in a super exciting series were launching right here right now about discrimination against working moms it's a real mother now that's commentary on my part but it's also what we're calling the series it's a real mother or going to spend four whole episodes looking at this problem figuring out why it exists and what we can do to solve it in this episode we're going to take a look at what discrimination against working moms actually is how people get away with it and what happens when it's not behind closed doors but in plain view that's what jean swift story is all about her story is groundbreaking and it's got some serious surprises but to really get this series started first we need to set the stage and so my producer abigail keel is here to help me breakdown what's really going on in the world of working moms happy gal hey hilary so have gil isn't discrimination illegal like why are we even talking about the fire even during the series laws to protect you the good news is there are laws one of those losses title nine which you've probably heard of and that law broadly protects against all kinds of discrimination based on sex and specifically there's an amendment within title nine called pregnancy discrimination act which makes it illegal to.
"hillary frank" Discussed on The Longest Shortest Time
"Rigid makes the case in her book that discrimination against working moms is not just something new bosses do it's something that our entire work cultures the this is the longest shortest time i'm hillary frank amc and this is this second episode of our working mom series all about the discrimination working mom's face if you haven't heard our first episodes episode 1 fortyone go check that out it features an amazing mom politician and lots of listeners sharing their stories you're stories today brigitte will help us to understand how the traditional american workplace actively works against mothers and how that that negatively net impacts everyone yep i'm talking to you people without kids this is your problem too we asked bridget to come be a part of this series i'm working moms because we loved her book but she wrote it back in two thousand fourteen and some writers you know they move on when a book is three years old the get rusty on a topic but not bridget she is still on fire it's so frustrating that it isn't sort of like frontpage news all the time you know it's like trying to write about the paint drying you know because it's become so much part of our reality they're like well what's new what's the story it's like the story is that this is unjust and this is crazy and you know we're hurting ourselves where they you know when you look at like the fertility rates i mean people are choosing not to have children because they think it's too hard and that's crazy that we've made it so hard to have a family in this country i mean does nobody care about that lease day where this country of family values and people think it's too hard to have a family that's wrong it is wrong especially when you consider this today seventy percent of mothers of young children work outside the home.
Why itâ€™s so important to keep your arteries and veins healthy
"A heart but it's a long tube and it runs along the top of their back and instead of having veins like we have that hold the blood that flows through our bodies they actually have an open circulatory system so their blood baid's their organs how can babies their hatch out thanks
Canavero: World's 1st human head transplant carried out
"Our show is all about two bumblebees have hearts they do have a heart but it's a long tube and it runs along the top of their back and instead of having veins like we have that hold the blood that flows through our bodies they actually have an open circulatory system so their blood
"hillary frank" Discussed on The Longest Shortest Time
"This episode was produced by me hillary frank with kristin clark and abigail kill who i definitely am not spying on promise we are edited by peter cloudy our engineers are karem and jared o'connell our technical director is the reverend john to lower our music is performed by hot moms dot gov and directed by allison layton brown we get editorial support from ameri bother nado antoniak attuned day enrico murthy next week on the longest shortest time i design the perfect baby what would be the most important thing to you for the baby to have me um i don't think you can only did a gene for this but a funny want them to be funny i talk with journalist bonnie rochman about her new book on genetics and parenthood do not miss this episode you guys subscribe to the longest shortest time in stitcher or apple podcast or wherever you like and make sure you're subscribe to our newsletter where you can get a note directly from me in your invites each week just go to our website and put your email in the little box and as always here the longest shortest time we are looking for your stories right now we're especially looking for stories about coincidences did you unexpectedly find all longlost relatives that you never know you had or find out that some other family does something exactly the way or does go to longest shortest time dotcom and submit your story.
"hillary frank" Discussed on Why Oh Why
"West wing weekly and west namir podcast lot's of whittier this was pretty find me with andrew chug and lindsey crowder well we had engineering by rob herbert and chris in our editors hillary frank abed production by kerstin holds for slate with help from lee as they inner we've technical direction from jeez the gambrill featuring artwork by liana think logo designed by teddy blanks thanks to everyone at panoply including a manda hill stephanie paulikas here tonight thank you to see a the creative artists agency this event was such a great fit for show only made possible by the noboa's thank you to our guide shop manager sarah aims that the whole stack here fear ackford dialing howard and before we go i have one more highlight to share with you guys richer case was of course looking very fashionable what are you wearing tonight and warned grenoble's was he ferrying flight getting in this amazing food was really nice i came here to the store and i got to suit for my preference wedding got the suit the shirt tie and parked square and that wedding is going to be attending the two brides were actually in our audience at the show aaron and hanna and it turns out rashid called them during his suit fitting to ask what colour suit aaron would be wearing and she lied and said a gray and that you took a day played hooky from work with their mom and her fiance and had a touba noboa's so dragged the happy couple up on stage to tell me the story.