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The Legend of Patrick McGillicuddy, Matt Iseman, and the Best Disney Song Remixes
Today's episode Casey radio brought to you by Thursday boots to Thursday edition of Casey radio with my Thursday boots on my feet. I feel like I feel like good Jim like a CEO leader of men money power boots that leader of menu. I put my boots on. I'm like, I'm I'm a man I'm forty I'm a man I got my boots on we get the. The combat boot. That's kind of what you got to listen if we drop a combat boot on your asses better watch out. Thursday, boost dot com and get your boots delivered to you in two days when use the promo code free ship to day, but talking to my guy over there. We were like, we're working with factories and Mexico and factories in America. We've got a lot of a lot of coordination whore. Wing chrome. Excel we love love that love the chrome. Excel chrome excel leather is like better watch out. I think selling a feet a war weaned should be like what? Hollowing in college Hora. We. Yeah. I like that Hora wing weekend, buddy. Listen, you got a pair of boots onto Halloween horror. We night it's to go. Well for you Thursday, boots dot com. T H U R S D A Y B O T S dot com. I don't know if you know like some some some companies you need to spell it out. I don't think we need. I hope not. But you never some people. I would imagine most people know how to spell Thursday and know how to spell boots put number. Yeah. There's there's at least one listener. Oh, okay. I thought it was t h are you all right Thursday boots dot com promo code free ship to day. It is as we record Halloween. It is also mcgillicuddy day. It is the perfect storm of chaos. It's kind of nice for Boston because we're kind of Boorda parades. So. Like now is almost by sit up and how well mcgillicuddy was certainly boarded this parade after he put KFC's boogeyman on his fucking sign. Finally, like acknowledged that this like middle aged blogger has been chasing him for the past decade. And he put the updated his sign for those. I mean, there are people out there who don't own mcgillicuddy iron. I'll give a quick little recap. When he was eleven years old. He had a science at eleven years old ten parades aid parades, and he became signed kid, and I put up a blog, and I and I hated him. I fucking hated this kid. Sitting here with technically one parade. I was one year old when when the Mets won so technically one realistically zero. So I wrote a blog being like fuck this kid, and I said what's your name tonight with smaller like redhead from Boston? And what's your name, Patrick mcgillicuddy or something? And that was it from that moment on that kid was Patrick mcgillicuddy. And then they want again, and they want again, and they want again, they want again, they want again they want again. And now he has his latest sign says sixteen years old. Eleven eleven parades. Pretty good. It's disgusting. So he has his updated sign, but he also this time put in the bottom left hand corner small print KFC's boogeyman which like the weirdest part about this kid. And this is how I know he was raised by wolves in a cave in like, you know, western mass. He has never engaged with barstool at all. I guess I guess what is he guys followed him Holly the barstool sports account, right and mcgillicuddy? No, no, no thing. It was just guys account because they mcgillicuddy went and liked the bunch of Gaza's pictures. Right. But never responded. Because we've been like, hey, can we give me we need to get in contact with him for several reasons and nothing from him. I mean when you're when you're a teenage kid in in Massachusetts in Boston, and you're like. You know, barstool like talks about you a lot. You're what kind of kid is not running with that. I would fifty year old Steve is probably getting hand jobs left and right because of his year old, Steve he's he's in my I I I would be like mcgillicuddy I would be nervous because you will have social anxiety. But like the rest of us would be like, yeah, I'm fucking goaty. What up? I remember. Dave talk out with me. Dave said he's weird. And he doesn't he's weird. He doesn't respond to us. So that's not weird for fifteen year old to say, there's a major corporation was the enemy all the time. I think I'm just gonna step back here that I I would think the same thing. I would say I'm sure he thinks I'm weird. I mean, I know I am I think he enjoys it. It does he because he's never I mean forget about like fine. You don't have to come in here. Do like an interview. But I mean, never a tweet never nothing, no reaction or engagement. He knows. He's gone. He's getting another parade in like, Gino was so. Cocky, his Instagram. He put up an Instagram story with a poll. It was just a white background with a poll. It just said should I go to the parade. Yes. Or no. Fuck you mcgillicuddy, you are the parade and the funniest part I say funniest through the my fucking like gritting my teeth. He has his sign on like the giant piece of wood. And so you just see the sign like above the headline crowd bobbing as he walks around. Like there is Jill Cutty, and nobody knows his real name. Darren rebel tweeted out. A picture said fifteen year old sixteen year old Patrick mcgillicuddy from Massachusetts luckiest kid in the world had to delete it right away last year. CNN ran with it. Usually baseball tweeted, we've got four said this mcgillicuddy kid is the luckiest guy live. His name is not bad. Should be he should change his cO. Julio sanchez. I actually do know his name. I'm not going to tell you. You don't wanna know it? It's better. It's like it's like believing in Santa Claus us wanted. You just want to believe that. If if he does not have a fake ID that says Patrick mcgillicuddy he is doing life so wrong. I mean, he has dot capitalized on this little bit of infamy in any way, shape or form. I almost think you can't have passenger you'll cut it. Because too many people known and think bouncers will be your sixteen. Don't think I know those kids know the pie looking at. It'd be like, oh, yeah. You're signed come on right in bro. Patrick fucking mcgillicuddy. But what's weird is now that he's sixteen. He's like a little like a man is he looked went from his original picture when he was eleven. He's like a little boy he was fifteen last ones with it's been one year, but fifteen to sixteen you know, you know, how that goes. There's always like it's like little little league baseball. Like when you're when you're like a twelve year old playing with eleven year olds it's like, whatever when you're thirteen year old playing with twelve year olds you're like mashing balls to the moon, so sixteen fifteen to sixteen Schick and happen, man. Dick grows a couple inches. He start to get some some some. Yeah. Well, it was so so he pops out now. And it's like a looks like a bro I used to be like making fun of this little kid. And now he looks like he's going to like play lacrosse in college on like a hundred percent. You know? No, looking bang chicks out or something wild like. All right. Well, now, this is now a real fucking few. That's fight. Well, you said that you it's actually easier now. Well, yeah. Because it doesn't succumb to it. Yeah. I I mean, it's it's it's taken on a life of its own where I used to genuinely like a hate it this kid, and I hate the fact that he gets to celebrate championships. And I don't, but now it's taken on such a life of its own that it's a it's like everything else a barstool aware like the content kind of can take ended up taking precedence. I mean, Patrick, we'll cut he is one of my greatest blog creations ever when I see the frenzy that comes about and people are like looking forward to it. I'm like, all right. Well, I made that you know, what? I mean. It's it's so I I enjoy the content side of things, but I do have to remember, I'll do you birth through noise. You pretty much you love it behind me you. Yes, I made you cutting. He's sitting in his cave raised by wolves and Lombardi trophy. That's stupid. Little Mona Lisa smile, where it's like, you even fucking happy. He's just sits there smiling waving wanna be here. Fuck you. It's like he's bothered. He should've gone as you on Halloween. He if he was me if he if he had like some some sort of close that looked like being a sign that said thirty three years old one parade. Sad little tiny little Mets logo in the middle. And just blank white everywhere else on this on the fucking billboard. That would have been hell areas. KFC's boogeyman ain't bad. Either. Though, you son of a bitch. What I really wanted like what what is like MRs mcgillicuddy thinking like I'm sure the dad is kind of like he knows barstool. I'm sure he's like it was a little weird. But would I res- is funny guys Boston balls? I'm sure the mom is like that guy. Like, let's call the police get a restraining order on that guy. Mom, doesn't love you. Now. Now, I I would not love me either. If I was that kids mom so corrobos is out there on the on the crop is up there with crop on JD Martinez. Float. I think it was Joe Kelley. That's the guy. I would wanna party with have you could party with one person from the team Hutapea, David price. Well, yeah. But I think the equation. I don't think David our part is too much, but it's not necessarily. Well, that's a good question. I'm would you think of it as like who is going to be the funnest party with or who would you want to be like next to in the pictures now by finance department? Okay. 'cause I'd be I'd get a picture with price. I love their price opting in by the way. Thank fucking. Of course, he when four years one year when you got buck thirty three left, you're going to often they're obviously he wasn't going anywhere. But I think it would probably be see it's tough. I'm trying to think of who the craziest guys on the team bar. And Joe Kelly is definitely one of the Joe Kelly had an interview before the playoffs this year saying he's been prepared for his whole life. First of all he played in the playoffs before second of all he wanted to be an undercover cop when he was younger and that prepared him for this. He wanted to be a guy who went in the deal with tattoos and drug lords and suddenly breast coaltion and that got him ready for this. So he's a psychopath. No doubt that would be fun to party with. I'm sure Steve Pearce. He's the one I was gonna say Brockhall is fun. But I think he's sober fun. Which is awful. I think at a sober fun. Person isn't a fun person for me. Sober fun is a complete contradictions paradox. Yeah. It's it's and he's he before back when the Twitter account. He was one of those John three sixteen or whatever bible verse guys of so Brockhall off. Would be off. He's got his kids with them to you and your cycle that was awesome. But I wanna party with you. I think I think a lot of this team are fun guys. But I don't know how many I'd wanna part of Mookie seemed to be going on a bit. Well, that's just like swag doubt. Like the euro with moving but Mukhi goes from Mookie swaggie on the field. Mookie goes for swaggie to guest lecturer, pretty quick. Oh, yeah. Once he gets in locker room it gets. He's got a ball saw the glasses on Nepal spot. Yeah. He's gonna ball's body is on right away. So it's he quickly goes. So you're my TA. In the creative writing kind of Vicki's big cardigan guy. You're very creative writing ta I don't know if I'm gonna put him. There aren't a ton of guys. I mean JD was cool. Hang JD, all guns. Jimmy, we have party with J D And sale, and they were both fun, but they weren't partying partying. He was night before here's the answers Pierce. I think it's he's that especially right now like focus World Series MVP at nowhere. Let's go bald spot is is I did not see that coming. Why p reenacted the one of the all time pictures app? Ourselves sports a little bald spot damn coward. Why p is a fucking. Oh. Why tell you know, you have a problem with within your team can't bust each other's ball? Yankee Tibor noise scared to give Portnoy or anyone else in team or the business. That's not a real team. So. There pictures is gross. Dave if you just Google gross David pops up, that's gross at pictures. And why p reenacted he put a shirt and his belly to give himself a gut gave himself a bald spot made himself pigeon toed, and we recreated the famous picture of him taking candy from like a preteen girl in Chicago. And he was so nervous that he was going to be in trouble for it. It was like you goddamn plsy. That's that's why you you know, you. That's why you know, there's a problem within your team. I saw Deeks tweeting a bunch of stuff from Barcelo radio. So I guess they was going on the list of who hates him the most or someone of his foes in who he likes or who we think likes him and doesn't like him that. And he brought me up. I think I think I think Tom Tommy smokes by I don't know where the fuck. He's Donald smokes these things step back. Tommy smokes. He gets hit by a train tomorrow. I wouldn't fuck about it. I'm like good. He he brought it up where he said, we're the base Dave haters here or something. Those lines. And Dave said that I had the I think he I saw the tweet where I had the data analogy last Casey radio or to Casey radios ago where I said it was like watch sports, David. I don't have a ton in common. We would not wherever doing very similar personnel. Yeah. But it is. I wouldn't I don't hate Dave. I wouldn't do. I would I wouldn't say the things I say if I wasn't comfortable in our with our relationship if I thought I was going to get fired or if I thought we weren't cool. I would if I don't talk about you. That means I really don't like you, right. Right. That Davis talked about the most because he's an asshole. He's the dark cloud. That's over. Everything's he's let's talk about Trent or Trent very often. I'd like turn law. He said me and Trent we're wanting to for hate, nobody likes it. But I didn't think Trump was at the top of the list of like hate alongside. I don't know that one. I don't know where to try to came from. I I wouldn't I'm comfortable making fun of date, which I think makes you have some level of friendship better better relationship than what apparently team Portland has. I mean, if you can't just reenact a funny picture without feeling like you're about to be fired or soft. But that's Halloween, man. How lean is a weird fucking holiday. We're gonna talk about costumes partying all the Halloween shenanigans. Because right now, we're old washed up and things are different when you're old for Halloween. It not for me. I never was a Halloween guy. Shocking. Halloween dogs brought to you by fan duel. The gold bottles giveaway is already wrapped up. So this ad read means nothing so go to Faneuil dot com. Mm slash Viva. I guess maybe. And we will you'll be doing some football. Because the baseball's over the baseball is certainly over the baseball baseball is done. The baseball is over for the season. So there's the beat Dave contests every single week. You can go to fans will dot com slash Portnoy. You can also play with the PMT guys. If you win you can get a trip to Atlanta for the Super Bowl, that's actually creeping up, and that's going to be sooner or later all train heading down there and watch the patriots win the gun. Actually, perfectly coming up patriots soukous after the trade deadline people in Boston are doing the exact same thing that the of the Red Sox deadline if this is in Bill to win you can't win in the postseason with the you need you need a linebacker. You didn't know the wide receiver. I don't know why we knew otherwise receiver, but you need another wide receiver. They all these things needed a running back. All of this stuff, you need once you start doubting Bill, Jack or or else core. Apparently, don't worry about it. I'm starting bills good. I'm good starting to regret. All this like aligning with Boston for the past couple of weeks. Fantail dot com slash Portnoy, fan dot com slash Viva. I think will dot com slash barstool is a million of them out there. You can get five dollars for new users. When you sign up for age and state restrictions go to fan dole dot com. Check it out. Holla. Wean is a motherfucker of of a holiday it. The other day. I was carbon a pumpkin John. Oh, yeah. My dad just text me a picture of pumpkin Nagar. Yeah. See his bump. Right. So this is the first one I car since I was a kid the first one I car for my kids, and so I'm carving their names into them. And I was like shea shea come here come here, and we're going to car car, the pumpkin and she sits down. I like jamming this fucking knife in there. I'm struggling and she was like, I'm gonna go watch TV. And so she's she's watching TV and Keegan's like stuffing his face with food. And I'm sitting there carving, a pumpkin while my mom her grandma is doing the hair of her wig. She's like putting bows in Shay's costumes way. She was Molly from the bubble guppies. Don't know that bubble guppies social, yes, she's like a little a little mermaid almost and has a pink wig. But the whig was getting in her hair interface. So my mom is like combing fake hair while I carve a pumpkin for these kids who are just like I just want to watch TV like fuck this holiday, then I gotta worry about trick or treating like to like, I'll just buy some fucking candy. Let's she doesn't know how to do this stuff yet. So let's just sit on the fucking couch. It's my favorite part about share these days. She goes she doesn't like dressing up. But she does she she got she all let me tell you a fucking story, so gymnastics, I go to gymnastics every Saturday, you know, that they did a Halloween thing, especially it was Friday last Friday. So. You either pay this time, though, is you just go to gymnastics and everyone does it in costume. But yet the pay so I call up. Yeah. Which I've I've already given these people probably like several thousand dollars because I've been going to gymnastics like two and a half years straight like since shea came out. So since since shea dropped so. I call up like we only have one spot left. I was like, well, I have two kids so figure the fuck out the glances are rolling through as we always do every week. So figure it out. So I roll up there and I sign up for one. And I was like all right. We're just gonna like squeeze Keegan in here. And at the very least I'll just let him play around in the fucking room before the show starts, you know, and but I put them out there. And it's it's not like there's like food that they have to eat that he's taking up, you know, someone slice of pizza or something like that. It was just like a little extra space. This bitch comes running up to me. And she's like excuse me. What's going on here? And I was like. Well, you know, they're both playing and she was able like only one signed up. So and I'm sitting there, and I look at her, and I looked down at Keegan who is dressed as bubble puppy. So he's a little one year old boy dresses, a fucking puppy, John. And she's looking at him like what's going to happen here? So I'm looking at her and looking down at the puppy on looking at her looking at the Bubby. I'm like are you fucking serious like she's a bouncer? She got kicked by little puppy out of gymnastics. So I was like all right. Well, I'm going to I'll just let him play in the beginning. And then when you guys start I'll take him out. And I just didn't do that. I just like let let him keep playing and she was like staring at me, and I was staring back. And I just had this vision. It was me my two kids, and they're grandparents, and I was like we're all going to get kicked out of this motherfucker has like like, we're we're all going to be banned from gymnastics, and I don't know what I'm gonna do every Saturday for now on because it's a it's a big part of our weekend lives. I was going to be like well daddy had to cause a c-. Ready? Probably the police to show up try to bounce my one year old puppy out of fucking gymnastics fucked. Yeah, it, but yeah, I like Halloween is like either either your always great when you're a little when you're when you're old enough to like do trick or treating and it's still cool to to dress up. That's the sweet spot for me. When you're in college becomes a wing, which is cool. I guess like chick stress up slutty and everybody gets bombed. That's fun when you're older, definitely sucks. But that like when you're like Arnold twelve. Maybe I feel like that's that shit. See I never had. I never had it at all. I never really liked Halloween. I don't I was twenty. But it's strange because we wouldn't you think John les dressing up like you put a mask on and you hide from from the world. Every day for John. I think it stems first of all I just dressed up everyday as a child I was I was Peter Pan or the Rocketeer every single day for two years straight, and that'll do it. But I think I think I think it's a New England thing where you don't because you don't really get New England was like Halloween central that. That's what I blame it on. Whether I don't know whether or not everyone else thinks the same way, I blame it on that. Because I never really got to dress up. I wasn't the red rain just said you dress up every day that was as a kid in the summertime like that on Halloween when I dress up as the red ranger, my mom, we're a coat and I'd not the fucking red ranger. Then I'm I'm a guy in a mask your mom ruined. The and north face jacket. Yeah. That sucks, and then it would try to be a cowboy look like some guy skiing Colorado jacket jacket on and I decided fuck this. I'm not doing Halloween anymore. This is stupid. I don't look like my goddamn us. So you're just a little bitch. Boy, who like your mom made you wear jacket. Yeah. Exactly couldn't stand. And my house isn't really in the neighborhood. So I didn't really have anywhere to go. Right. Right. Was surprised. You didn't do it on the battleship or whatever they were treating the fucking yacht or some shit. There was there wasn't. I could go to a neighborhood. I guess, but then you've got to drive Halloween. You walk out of the house in the there aren't really houses. Dude. I remember one year we went trick or treating when we lived outside of Philly, and it was pouring rain, and my mom, which is like walking behind us with umbrella. Being like, I'm gonna murder you kids. We don't ever have to do this again. I also had a bomb. Ask costume. I took a machete a cut in half. And I put it through a piece of cardboard, and then I hung the cardboard over me. So it looks like the knife went through me dope. I I I always remember your good, costumes. I didn't have a childhood. It was so much makes sense. When you learn these things all my stuff that I dressed up as I was never Halloween. I remember there was one like regular dope day where my very problematic day like me. And my cousins dressed up as Indians. And we ran through the dunes and stuff like that. And I will do it. I had like like loincloth on the headband, and is a fucking I'll take I'll take a picture of it. I know where the picture is at our house that I'm going to. Like, I we December. So I will take a picture of it and tweet it. But it's dopamine just fucking posing the dunes like John Smith. But also it Indian. Wait, you, you know, your family left you alone on Christmas. You never got the dress up for Halloween got to dress Helme was like what thanksgiving thanksgiving? Maybe maybe you just have like a holiday bugaboo. I know. I love holidays doesn't sound like, but it's it's I do enjoy them. I just don't dress up and stuff like that. It's it's what you had to pick one of those things where it's kind of like, you were just saying with your mom you fucking kids. Yeah. I think we didn't do things kind of like you can just sit on the couch. I think my parents were like you. Yeah. Right. I it's good to have memories. Yeah. Well. I didn't go to fucking go to Disney until I was like twelve and the parents will you wouldn't remember? Well, you fucking I might open could've. That's why I don't wanna do. I've ever spent ten years convincing myself, Disney sucks, and now we're going and because you wanna beat Overman. Yeah. Just have a memory lady. Honestly. I mean chase has mealtime. Let's go on the couch Iraq's. You are the best. I love this kid so much, but I got a car the bomb gain. I'm gonna put them in their costumes because otherwise they're like the weirdo kids who don't do anything that regular kids. Do. The only the only thing that will motivate me is to make sure I have normal. Your kids. You're kidding. Let's get into some super weird voicemails. Wore smells are brought to you. We also have Matt iceman coming up in the second half of the show. He is the American ninja warrior host. He's a comedian. He also Egypt reps the the barstool brand at every turn. He was on. Megan Kelly show, talking about barstool defending the wall when we were all caught up in some controversy. So he's a big time stolley funny. Comedian and you'll see them all over network TV. So we sat down with him for a little while. But I would do these voice mails that brought to you by fifteen seconds of fame. It's the mobile app, delivering users their own personal Jumbotron TV appearances. Now barstool is fucking made off of taking pictures of people in the crowd, filming your TV screen when they when they pan to the crowd when you see people like the guy was drinking milk. The dodgers game day people on the kiss. Cam people throwing the the home run ball back anytime, you were on TV or on the Jumbotron is you go go go viral you become famous from minute. But you're at the game. You don't get to see it. It's very fleeting. It's just the live moment. That's where fifteen seconds of fame comes in where the app will send you the video of you at your favorite baseball basketball football, or it's so good. It is so smart. So if you're at the game with your family, your friends girlfriend, your boyfriend, whatever it's cool to save those moments, and then you can share them on social media, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, whatever so corrobos right now, he's he's on his duck boat will make sure that we get the clip of it. So he can live with it forever. It's fifteen seconds of fame is the app. Go. Download it today. Make sure you capture your your sports moments forever. Gee, Halloween, mcgillicuddy g. Voicemail. Couldn't have been that. That's what I thought. Like giants genus. Okay. Voicemails. What do we got? See I've BC long-term. So I have a question. My friend told me he other day that apparently if a girl. For each a tablespoon of chlorophyll day. It'll start connector Regina cake and one of our friends that she started doing it boyfriend told her. Jonah, smells or tastes like the newer cupcake. And personally, I have no idea if that's true. But we're getting a lot of that. So I'm just wondering how you rise ever in the girl that. Touchy. Process spectacular. That's about it. Okay. So what happened? I said. This was the weirdest voicemail. We've ever got hero fill. This sounds like some ship Bill. Cosby would say, right. That was chlorophyll. That's my first order four four two. And I was like this sounds extremely dangerous. Yeah. Okay. Bill is the stuff in plants. It's a borough filled really bad form, and like this now that would be really bad. Yes. But it's not that it's not a guy trying to date rape. You. It is a guy who was just fucking with you being a yellow stroz good. These girls e chlorophyll why I think it was a green pigment present in all green plants resign. I didn't I didn't even you could eat chlorophyll was everything a spoonful chlorophyll like it comes in like a powder form or something. I bet this is real one hundred percent Chlor. Okay. Let's see as a guy eating. I mean what you might apple. Your secretions have a taste. It's based on what you eat. If you eat fast food all time. They like the porn stars. I think bang bus from like that said you guys we fast food all the time. There comes as terrible. You know? I'm like the. Was that the mangoes they have like the mango bags of mangoes? You got to go come. We'll citrus come. Yeah. It's fantastic. And first of all, it's a delicious treat just to. Anyway, I looked it up here. Chloroform. Come not clear that up chlorophyll has the power to regenerate our bodies at the molecular and cellular cellular level. It helps cleanse the body fight infections helps heal wounds promote the health of the circulatory, digestive and immune systems and make your pussy tastes like. Oh, yeah. It's true. It's true. It's only to a bunch of shit. I I. Cupcake? I just Google chlorophyll vagina like didn't think that was going to be my search history, and there's all sorts of results. There's a YouTube video here. It says how to cure smelly vagina with chlorophyll. I knew it was real. It was I was right. You were right. I would have said that this. I thought this was a guy is fucking with a bunch of girls. We like what else? What else we can get him to eat? I'm sure it's real. I think I don't really. Yeah. If you have a problem, I guess do this. But I'm finally the way of Jonas taste the pennies. I don't think I'm not. I'm not down there. Be only this tastes like a penny. I did put a penny. No. It was. I actually wish I wish it would. We could recreate it because there was one time we were at dinner. He's me chaps Keith the fat. The for the fat fact Chaz picture, so we're at that dinner, and we were talking about it. And I said that's something people say and Chaffetz jobs like here smell this. And he gave me a penny out of his pocket. I don't know why it opinions bucket. But he did give me a penny out of his pocket. I smelled it. And it was a might even put it in my mouth. I forget what it was. But it was first of all warm. She's been in his pocket, and I was immediately holy shit. It was spot on it is his pennies pennies Bush. But when I'm thinking about that when I'm down. I've never. Never change, this tastes like cups change. Well, I mean, it's not like, it's on my mind. But it's like I get down there. And then it's like still taste like still things like Venice. And then and then I go about my business. But I mean facts are facts if you have an unhealthy vagina. I'd give I'd give this a wack shore. But I think if you're just regular. Artificial flavoring, not me you just want to use you wanna unnatural out. Yeah. Like the push unless sick sad. I don't like the Bush. Bush's facts are facts, first of all, let's clarify Bush means nothing Clinton is fucking. That was all their fucking medieval times. I mean, you know, pizza slice shore, right? The ship because like it ends and then plane takes it should be there should be smooth sailing after the landing strip ends. But I feel like if girl has a problem wasn't. I you could tell it girl is self conscious about that. Or you know has had a bad encounter. You could tell her like a spoonful of bleach will clean that up. And she's going to try. So, but apparently chlorophyll who knew I still don't understand what chlorophyll means I thought that what are you eating plant leaves out cone like anything any pill is just like mash it up and put it in a pill granted the dust put in the Bill eat it girl, he will deal with their God fucking placentas discussing. If you eat your placenta, you should be locked up. We should have been buried their percent in the backyard. Yeah. That's that's weird to those people. That's basically like I think you're almost like a murderer strange. You know, it's like you're you're burying like body parts in your backyard. Mom, it was my mom's friend, and she told me about it when I was young. And it was actually really nice vertu. Tell me because I was great. I don't need to bother learning getting became friendly with their key. Stay away from that fucking back yard. It's definitely haunted dogged out there digging it up I want I need someone to report back. I need like there. There are some Casey radio couples out there. I know that they listened together. And the guy got the girl into it. The girl got the guy into it. I need a little before. And after I need you to go eat your servants, supposedly take note of what it's tastes like eats. And chlorophyll report back can't be a medium. Sure. No. It's gotta be. It is. I think it's pretty media with. Well. I mean, if it's whatever's in your system, it's got to be from point. I mean, I'm sure it's not keep it controls. Don't go eaten pineapple at the same day. You're doing your chlorophyll, basically eat nothing, but chlorophyll and eat some pussy and let me know if it tastes like a cupcake. You never know. What's shows? Our situation. The homeless guy donor. And he's stopping completely make sure that I got a fresh one we make sure and it hurts me off guard. Automated be offended. His offer donor for. He's a little ridiculous. But are you know, maybe I'm maybe? For the homeless who knows? Well, I mean, I'm certainly insensitive to the homeless people. But this this is absolutely outlandish. Request afresh donor if you're homeless I mean, the freezing literally beggars can't beat users. He is a beggar he does not get to choose. I grant if someone asked me this. I'd laugh and say, yeah, I'm just gonna ask for Dona. I'm not gonna say making a freshman. Also. I mean, I don't do that for myself if I go to Dunkin donuts, and I order a doughnut, and it's like one of the stale ones that's been out for a few hours. I don't even return that for me. No, no. You don't return Mitch Hedberg you once once you buy a Donut. I'm not returning this. I am not going to make sure that the homeless man's don't. I'm not buying the homeless man Donut. I'm giving the homeless anything. No. But if I somehow caught up in this. I am not making sure he has a fresh donor. I thought about that recently goes walking home after probably one of the Red Sox game. Maybe maybe Sunday night after chairs by two in the morning because we shift to do afterwards. And there were just a guy sleeping for some reason. That time you see so many, but the streets were empty that night. Yeah. God this really sucks. He was asleep. I don't wanna wake me up. But I was just thinking I wish I could do something. It's one of those things where I listen good for you. And I and I I wish I was like you. I think I have just been around the homeless too long. They don't faze me one bit. They don't want that. When when one when the streets are flooded with people, it's one thing. But when you see yourself homeless laminates bread out when it's really cold in the winter. I'll I'll have a moment where I'm sitting under my three or four blankets and my sherpa hoodie all comfortable drink and hot cocoa. And I think. If I was just stuck outside right now. I would just kill myself. That would stay so hit my brain then. But John the other day, I was walking slow notice a lot a lot a lot of. A lot of those who I see on the way to work aren't even asking for money. There's just John. I I walk by a homeless guy today. He had a pair of Jordan sixes on. He had a pair of black and gold sixes on that. We're like in pretty good shape. That's like those are real. I mean, he's got I almost put them on my goddamn kicks in the office Instagram. Do you know if he was homeless though because as having apartment what remember braids he had an apartment this guy was homeless. So he he was like laying on the street braids was an infamous beggar at Fordham road outside of Fordham. He you give them the white castle. You turn the that's much like the Donut brother gave him white castle. He said that's bad for your cholesterol, man. Homeless. What? Listen, if I was almost as offer me a bag of popcorn, I probably say the same thing. That's. Popcorn is is literally like six cents. Yeah. It's free. It's just it's just it's like pebbles that just pop open, and you eat them shade his fake food. Very filling though donuts you get what you fucking get man. I was at a girlfriend and basically just a popcorn Philly. Philly keeps getting it wasn't movie with you. Let's call the eating disorder. I kind of liked that like brand. That's that's what I do it through. I m. Casey fight will. Course on the story onto a party this weekend. And you know, this girl that's the forty she, you know, rolling back to her place or can immediately. It's a sorority house, so girls everywhere, and she knows the fucking big little, and, you know, all the girls like, oh, you're going to Faulk so immediately. I'm thinking this girl. Huge slut super hostile didn't bother me. Go down to her room. We end up. While we're having sex. You'd look me dead in the eyes. And goes if you come in me on keeping it. Immediately. You know, I didn't know what to do. You didn't come in there. But then after I'm trying to get an Uber home. My fucking Uber. Not working some sitting there for forty minutes while girls talking about zodiac sign rising signs setting sign is going on. I was just going along with it. Trying to get home ended up just walking out and sitting in the rain, forty minutes way for kids. That's the move. The move. I wholeheartedly. I agree with this guy on every level everything here you walk in to a sorority house. And everyone's like, oh, you're going to look like those are some hoochies. I definitely have sex with her. You definitely don't come in her. And then when it's time to get the hell out of there and the dot com and use goes to the rain. I would this. I would do everything this guy. Just did. I would I would be so intimidated just walking out. So I talked to find it with shitting before where I just wanna be my life goals have another house. Actually, my household shit. How it's just it's just the whole that it's not all of its space. It's just one bathroom you want to have sex house to know your. Kind of where I I get very nervous when I know people can hear my goal really in life is to be only person let's on the planet. Just because things easier that way, and I don't want to be self concert everything where we we kind of talked about he was cited so much easier. We talked to be the only person not on the planet options are suicide or genocide. The. The what we talked about. We were doing after the socks game in Boston. And I mentioned that Nardini tax Michigan hear me, and I must have been weird. And it was I was just worried from then on people cheating him having sex. It's the John was back in a hotel room. And it's she could hear him podcasting. I wonder what else you could. And I was not to be fair. When we podcast we are loud. And you're a much better podcast or than you are a fucker. So maybe she couldn't hear you at all. That's what he can rest. The rest of my mind. So if I was in a password, I was running around. I would think I shit looking here me here because the story was also trained here. They've got like the fucking, oh, I didn't know Greek way for him. So I don't have any experience with sororities. But like like packs of chicks who are just openly. Like, we thought guys are. That's so weird to me. It's super so like like chick just being like, oh, you're going to suck that dick tonight. It's like, wow, that's weird. So that would definitely throw me for a loop bunch of checks FOCA put it in or. You are scaring me some respect, right? I love your friend. This is going to be a monogamous relationship. Pose beforehand us out of spite. As a matter of fact thinks he's a little slut, I'm turning this. How went to a housewife? But let me tell you something girls. I don't know if that was. Well, thought out like if you come in me, I'm actually I mean, maybe so that actually never mind I just changed my mind as I thought that through that's a girl who's like, I I ain't going to deal with this. And that's the fucking surefire way to happens. That's the best contraception. I've ever heard. Also, I think he's probably lying through her teeth. But I think she's like I'm gonna make sure you don't go with me. I have I have it's wicked sense of now. Carney say, but I think I hear this nine meters. Think she was just joking. She was having fun. She was making fun sex fun make sex fun again. I think John's always all been all about the fucking giggles and laughs during. And I someone said. And then it would be a rollover we start planning our life. So we're like, oh, yeah. We named it. Timmy. Oh, I don't know. I don't know what the. He's got so many issues. Sorry, that's one of those ones where it's like, we we rewind that one. Put the words back in my mouth on that one. It's been I what I would do. Sorry. It's like you're just bound by the the the podcasting laws of honesty where you had to be truthful there, and you just shouldn't have been. It just shouldn't have been. It was wrong with me. Next up. I I'm sure. Got this friend. We'll call Steve. This ridiculous move. He move kills gross. He's going to set him up on appointee. And he's the one who shows. I decide if this is total Saco move is awesome. It's awesome. One hundred that might be better than my first eight move. Yeah. There that's up their stuff. Well, you know why? Because like the the level of confusion into hopefully laughter into like, I gotta tell my friends about this. If it all goes, well like like the first you do that. Kevin you won't real estate in her have. Yeah. That's true story. It's true. I mean, can you imagine like so the girl is like walking into the place? You know, like, all right. I'm gonna meet my blind date. And then it's the guy who said it, and she's just I mean, her brain short circuits in that moment. Just like what what's happening what is going on here. And then he's like surprise. It's fucking me. I think that they're so they the whole the whole game. I mean, everybody knows every trick. Right. Everybody knows every line every everything. So you're just another lemming other face in the crowd who spit in the same game. That is. So like she's off tilt now. It's like you might as well as banger right then. And there I think is fantastic. I think. Me the whole thing. Everything is about standing out. Right, right. Every I'm not saying no one else doing. And seamless. There's w moment of like what the fuck is happening here. But it's something that she's never encountered and may never encounter again. The name of the game is be interesting. Yes. This is interesting. Right. Thirty years. I've never heard anything. Like what here's the thing. I would love to hear from this guy because I need to know he has a line. You know, like when they're saying what the fuck is going on. He's got some explanation there that has to work. I don't think you're going to have an explanation now like you just like a. You know, even if it's just like, it's me just the way he follows up with to make your understand like, it's you're going on a date with me. I wouldn't do that to just introduce myself. Hey, I'm John. No, no, no look into your your own fucking flush starting then it's like then. Okay. So you say you're John John what be talking about? I thought you were setting me up with the blind date. Yeah. No. I'm here. Just keep powering through. No, it's me. It's like just deny deny deny hit me. It was John. Really? That's all I just hand them personally. But I've been difficult to here is just convincing. Someone the twenty percents going on eight. Yeah. Like someone in two thousand eighteen you all these hoes are desperate. That's the thing. Think it's hard to I wouldn't go on a blind date ever. If some rocket was trying to get me to go like trick me onto this. She was come on. You're going to love her. She's beautiful. It's I don't think. Yeah. Well, I mean, if a girl is setting you up on a blind date that girl is disgusting. Yeah. But she's cute. She's funny. Oh, she's fat and single. That's was up there and a guy. Blinded. Meaning what like, oh, like if I wanted to set you up on a blind date. I mean, I would be like she's like, oh, no you're pitching me to ago. Oh, I would say he's a. A hopeless romantic is the most romantic guy. I know that I get it. Not getting that day. Would you bitch me? You'd be like go read this article Daily Mail. Think about daddy's. That's why I probably would just do like that. He's a daddy. Mean it very literally, you know, what to go back to to the the last girl, you should be like definitely don't let them come in. You. Because he's bad thousand. I think that's an karnal shit. If you're just like, I'm gonna set you up with my friend. He's fucking fertile shit. I feel like there'd be some part of her. It'd be like, yes. I must date him. I think I think to pitch me you kind of have to do mantis thing plays. What am I said? He's a mala justed romantic. That's better. That's better. He's got all sorts of issues. If I was like, I was like you'll. I'm gonna set you up on a date with my friend, John his parents, left them alone on Christmas, and he's seven he was afraid to dress up in Colleen costumes because he's got identity issues. Yeah. He comes on his own belly. He's a romantic. I think it's one of those things kind of kind of like a house, right? You're you're trying to your real estate agent your real estate agent. I'm a. I'm a house that could be nice. You're a fixer upper. I'm a big fixer. Oh, and girls. Say look if you if you invest just a little bit of time in this house in one year, every other house is going to be how did this house become the nicest house, honestly, that's like you. You are the definition of buying low. Be like you're going to get this guy this house on the cheat. Yup. He is so below market value hundred percent because his his his ex cheerier is an his interior is a wreck. But if you put a little bit of work into it. Both can be is cutting its got the foundation of something that could be something and you fix his into your hill fix his out exterior, right? And then you will have the full package the market value. He he'll start out way below and you'll be able to sell way. Yeah. You don't wanna be? You don't wanna buy the nicest house on the block, and guess what? This is hill house right here. Oh, yeah. He's all sorts of haunted, but he'll house that was that was nice. Was that was a nice house is beautiful. Exorcise those demons than if he can exercise a little bit got yourself a beautiful piece providence, right? All right. I'm going on a fucking blind. That's how we pitch and John. He's a haunted house. It means a lot of work. Tell me again, honestly at hosts by told that to a girl, I think she'd be like, okay, the haunted houses are exciting. Oh, yeah. They're fun. Keep you on your toes or a little bit of danger a little bit of Maury like do for the story. I might go as Halloween tonight. Just as he'll house. I would just it would be me. I don't have to dress up. I'm John vital. Hello. I'm hill. House people should be final break for Halloween and just walk around. And be like, I just I have anxiety. Oh, man. Imagine someone's walking around with the weighted blanket imagine someone just had like a weighted blanket and like Lipin like I'm John I have anxiety. Wanna fuck last voicemail of the day before we get into Matt iceman last built brought to you by Dollar Shave Club. 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But through pace you need. Toothpaste gotta wash out all candy. That's in there, man. Get yourself. Handsome discounted. He get the starter set for just five bucks. You get the oral care kit. And then you get the restock box that gets shipped every month every other month at the regular price. So what are you waiting for? You get the oral care kit or the dollar shave starter set all for five bucks. When you go to dollarshaveclub dot com slash KFC. It's dollarshaveclub dot com slash gave seat. By the way. Kissy super producer or long-time quick question for you. If you could take one movie urge generally clean movie, and you're allowed one ephone the ratings been up to PJ PG thirteen you're able to put one s into any G rated or kids movie. What movie are you putting it in? And what seem? Question. This is I'm gonna tell you flat out right now. I'm going to need some more time to think about this. We're question. I got this. Fucking show. I do John. I don't know many kids movies. You've traveled is so bad. It's like it feels like it's gonna go back to how I'm pitching you to the girls and be he'd never even watched the cartoon feels like it feels like piling on at this point. And I understand that even piling on you for thirty genuinely I I don't really have. I can't tell you a. He's struggling right now, folks to your favorite designers. Laying it on Disney movie Aladdin. Okay. Well, that's good. I hope you. I'm happy had an answer I ever met. Well, I I saw these movies. I just don't remember them. I mean, I know the general premise, but I I can't tell you a specific scene. Crazy. You tell you that the songs I remember. And what's your favorite dizzy song? Can't wait to be king gray one great choice. That's my number two under the I mean that was good. Because. Time for better down where it's wetter take it from me. That's just a good song. That's not like my favorite Disney song, and that's my favorite song on. Yeah. I remember can't wait to be king from the video game more. So than the movie. Yeah. That was good too. That was good whereabouts. All the draft nex. Yeah. Yeah. Those see those you have these memories, you're good. I it's I just don't have. I have a bad memory. It's not. If not specific to children's movies, it's specific to anything before last. We all your brain is broken brain that really works. I I really can can you think of one scene where you would put some this. I'm trying to think of where the funniest fuck would be. So is that like, you know, like a father talking to a son or a guy talking to a girl or something? Like fuck you in the right Disney moment, I think it'd be good. But you got I mean, that's why I gotta give it some thought. I got a or like. Like when there's some sort of, you know, like Jasmine's talking to a Latin if he was gonna fuck you or something that you don't get up get to add up. You just get to add fuck, right? Yeah. So like, you gotta you gotta find drop or Saint sentence. Yeah. Yeah. But that's what I mean. Like like, you gotta we gotta give it some thought. I got to think of who who I think you have to start with the who've what about what about? When scar throws them is move phone. Followed like in a very like in a very like damn it sorta way like I'm dead fun. Maybe maybe an Aladdin genie Robin Williams dropping a fuck in the right spot. I think would be we'd be entertaining when he gets out. And he's got his his is sore neck when he was like ten thousand years, we'll give you a such a creek and the neck if he was just like. Well, I'm gonna give this indeed thought we'll like we'll figure something out for you. And you get to drop one fuck into any child's movie. I'm sure I'm surprised if Meghan you can drive a phrase because fuck is harder. Fuck you need to know. The exact right, right. Right. Right. Okay. You got. Yeah. You get to write one line of dialogue with a with the f-bomb in it for any of your favorite cartoons or Disney movies ever. Get at us on Twitter at KFC radio. We will break it down a little further on next episode. And right now, we're gonna wrap up today with an interview with our guy Matt iceman if you'll notice. Was recorded about a week or two ago because he has come from Megan Kelly. Yeah. And she's not around anymore. Right. He was he was boys with with Megan shadow men Kelly, by the way, told NBC she'll sign an NDA for ten million. Seventy two wasn't enough. She's. You're the bad. Ten million shut my fucking mouth. I feel like you make more money than ten million though by blabbing you think so that's all buzzword. It depends on book. And he realized that also depends on what went on like if there's if there's some dirt, you know, I'll take ten million no work rather than fifteen with work. Yeah. But what if it's twenty five with work ten million though, fifty? Fifty. I think is where you've got to start thinking about. Yeah. About it for sure. Because it's also like you don't do that much work can be like ere out your details. Poke you go someone goes right this. I'll tell you what to do, right? Yeah. Exactly hundred percent. I spent brought to you by stitch fix. You. Wanna you wanna simplify your life? You talk about no work, John stitch fix. It's personal style delivered right to your door. They find and deliver clothes shoes. Accessories that fit your body that fit your budget and fit your lifestyle. Those are the three things that are the most difficult for me to to juggle. My disgusting body my tiny budget, my horrible lifestyle stitch fix. Go figure. It all out for me delivered right to my door physically. Attorney from fixer upper into a king. Hey, you go castle stitch fix dot com slash KFC. Tell them your size. 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We are now joined by Matt iseman who is a he's you're you're everything your doctor, you comedian American. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Doctor Dr Phil the ladies. Listen. I mean, you know, Ken, John, okay. He's my nemesis. Yeah. Everything I do. He's done it on a bigger and better like I was doing comedy before him. So he was a he's a cardiologist at Kaiser in the valium. He was doing standup, but he was on the down low. And so he hired me to come speak to his group and go like a medical talk. He's like the caveat. Is you can't tell them. I'm a comedian because I wanna maintain my respect cut to the hangover Winnie jumps out with his little Dr can't hanging out. You're out there. You're telling me, you're worried about this becomes a movie star has his own sitcom, and I'm toiling away in the bowels of reality television. He was when we first had him on Kevin kind of explaining about, the keeping a respect thing. Because Kevin started as an account and was on the down low as well. And Kevin was like, yeah. I kind of did something similar like I was an accountant I can't as goes not the fucking fucking. KABC radio. He goes fucking asshole. Dr Kent just putting in your point. Listen, you couldn't you couldn't tabulate my returns on my my my cardiology practice. I think though. As you such an appreciation for what we get to do. When you go from real job a nine to five job never done. He's like don't understand it. I mean, I think I think that's one of the advantages. I had when I got into entertainment was having come from something where it was truly life and death, and where you felt this stress in this this shoulder, this responsibility of of what a real job is, and what real responsibility and to leave that and be able to do entertainment, and they make a living where I always tell people like what we do is not work. The job is getting a job. And if you've been lucky enough to work, you won't appreciate it. It'd be lookers. It'd be fun lookers. Award to do like one of the it's like what else like undercover boss things or something? Like we send him out for like a week. And he works his job because we're both jobs. I always remember that they do stand up comedy. And now, we think about that when I'm working simply I heard Jay Moore say this one thing they said it so perfectly some some poor slums been working in Napa auto parts, you know, for ten hours a day five six days a week. And he spends his hard earned money to come out here and be entertained. So I'm going to work my ass off to entertain you because that's my job. And you've given me your time and money and to have that appreciation of like people have you know, especially with bar. So when you think of the options people have now with podcasts and TV this is the golden era of entertainment, but for you guys to stand out and be growing. You guys are one of the rare like growing candles is everything else is getting dimmer. And we're seeing this on broadcast TV it's in panic mode as the numbers on everything or dropping in there like the future is creating your own content, and more importantly, creating your own fan base. Yeah. I mean, it's not easy. Well, it's you know, we we hardest thing thing is is finding that line where you know. I'm not complaining about the job. I'm not because I have seen what a real shitty job can go, but it's complaining about life and my job is to complain about life. So I can head. There's only about jeans versus which by the way. This is the solution kit in as this is like from Lululemon these guys guys. Stretchy pants 'cause I'm not a small individual. So anything tight? I it. Just suffocate it came in here with the. I was just hanging out with Megan Kelly. Last time you're talking to Meghan Kelly. You were defending the wall hard core. It was after Portnoy told RIA, she was going to be ugly and five years, Megan Kelly, and they're actually I think Kelly was she wasn't too. She actually was she was more understanding expected. But it was a lot of, you know, we're misogynistic where shaming our female employees yada, yada. And you went on Meghan Kelly shows on some real asked television, and you were like. Not that bad. Was my problem. Nobody listened to what what L president. They actually said. Right. Everybody reacted to reassess reaction really everybody reacted to an article written about her reaction. And that's one of the things that drives me nuts in this. Knee-jerk reaction culture is listened to what was said and try to give it some context. Nobody nobody allows for context anymore. And when you listen to Dave, it wasn't just reate was the boyfriend is well, and he's like by this age is you this horrible place this evil nature that we've created a ball busting. We'll aid you and when you look at Rio you're like, Nah, I think in five years she's still going to be doing. Okay. Presidente on the other hand. His best years are behind in TIMMY, again, though, what what drives me crazy is the reason you, and this was the point I made that that that actually, and I got emails about this where I said, they're reacting to the PC culture. And there was just the study that came out and said, you know, the majority of Americans disliked, this PC culture, and when you turn on ESPN or any traditional sports, they're very limited as to what they can say. And so people want off. Fantasy. They want people who are speaking their minds. And that's why I think you guys are doing. Well, let's not bullshit. You guys are sitting here saying, what's honestly on your mind giving real reactions, and that's harder and harder to do particularly when you're beholden to higher powers and sponsors because sponsors are skittish. And what's crazy to me is when they really look at it. And they're like, there's an outrage mob on Twitter. Go look at that five four people exact human reach of thirty followers. And until an article was written highlighting those tweets. Nobody knew about right? And what I would just love is if a brand would just say go fuck yourself, and we're standing by our town. Pretty much there. You guys have that. And that's one of those things of you know. And that's that's the fine line you walk as you get bigger. And I know you guys just put that out where you were you were saying something about a sponsor got skittish. And you you made a t shirt pushing out or two shirts. I don't need shirts. But what I need. What what every single person who makes a living with words needs to do is support places like barstool or? For buying the shark because you are truly through supporting the cause. But the people who probably should be supporting the most are the ones like throwing shots, and all the other people are writing putting content out putting their opinions out who are like fuck, these guys speaking their mind, and I'm like one day it's coming for you. It's us eventually it's going to come a little tabloid or whatever you want to invoke World War Two. But it's like, I guess Jews. Yeah. And I said nothing, and it said thing of if you don't and you see it like even with Amy Schumer how she got backlash over I feel pretty or snatched for being politically incorrect or some things and it's like eventually it consumes itself this this mob. Outrageous, this Verde all turn on? Turn on each other. I can never understand if I'm a good person. Not where if I'm gonna go behind so disconnected because we talk about like not being scared. I've never once for a second considered not saying something. But I also don't think I've gotten like me personally as a whole has. I don't think I've ever gotten that much backlash. I think you don't say as stupid things as some of us. Okay. Follow. We finally settled the debate. Who this? Why one? No, I'm just a tough one. I'm the one who said online. Okay. I mean, I like it's very funny. When whatever these hippies has come out now, they just throw my tweets in there. Like, it's. Context. Just like, boom, not even the hippies is not even talking about me. And then Dave said this, and then there's a break in the page. And it's just like a tweet about a Jewish joke. I made that doesn't make any sense. But context is like everything here and everything, and they don't have ever and kinetic, and nobody looks at you and says, well, you know, what do you believe or what do you actually stand for? And it shouldn't even come down to that. Like right now, they're going on about Elizabeth Warren and her bona fide as as whether she's actually native American. And so this is one of the things I talk about is is that I I did a twenty three and me and why. Percent Jewish now. Obviously my last name is a little Jewish downing. I it does have Jewish origins. But you might not know it. So if I went onstage made a Jewish and people are, you know, like, how dare you be anti semitic? It's like, no, let me show you my papers. I mike. How will you know, how nine hundred and forty is that please? This joke is your heritage in there. And it's to me itself either. Everything's fair game or nothing is fair game. And I just wish people look nobody wants to be insensitive or or run around a hurting people. But the idea of the way I think we show affection often is by busting balls. And I just if people feel like they're too you can't make fun of somebody because it hurts them. Then it's like now, you're you're actually saying they're weaker. They're less than because they can't handle a joke. I my my theory is always been everybody can get it. Yeah. I'll make fun of the Italians Jews. Everyone. So so it's almost the same way is everything or nothing. It will make fun of all you. I'm not prejudice in writing and make fun of me. He target. I'm actually I prefer myself to be the butt of the. Yeah. I prefer. My comedy is very clean. I i'm. Plus, I I don't I don't want to be offensive. I always picture my mom in the crowd. I'm not doing anything edgy. So it's not like, this is me protecting my future is a comedian is just saying, I think that in general were much better served having the marketplace of ideas and just debate. At don't censor people. Let the market if if people don't like what you're saying. Then they won't pay to listen to it. But if they do don't take it away from other people so just because you don't like it, you make a conscious effort to stay clean. I I kinda did initially starting out. It was just business wise. I mean, we're talking to a little bit. He's like I decided I I want to go up to WalMart rather than like dive bars when we pretty fun. He made one hundred. He made a hundred fifty million dollars, Jeff. But to me I like to say fuck a lot. And I know I'm not gonna well, actually, I think it's much harder and much more impressive to do clean comedy like yourself. Like Jim gaffe again who could do these standoff calf? Ryan. And he's talking about hot pockets. Whereas I I need a crutch of like, sex and curse words. And you know, if I don't get it as a crutch always think of it is just being authentic to yourself. And I think because I was brought up by a mom who was unbelievably supportive, but also kind of from a small town in Brassica. And I just think I always felt a little uncomfortable with the idea of look, you know, here because I know my mom's not gonna listen sorry, guys. You know, I'll say fuck, but but on stage, I always feel like I just I'm more comfortable trying to be a little bit clean. And certainly there is a business element, particularly because the majority of shows I've done have been things like American ninja warrior, the hallmark channel or a home makeover show where at very much place to middle America. You know? But then we Bob sagged is is the famous story of he was doing full house and America's funniest home videos, and people would come out and he'd go. My daughter's got a filthy continental. Oh, yeah. So. That like revelation, but everybody finds out for the first time that Danny Tanner is like a wild pervert, I go. I go. Was that before like before they right, right? And so he's like, look you. And I don't think there's anything wrong be be who you are. It just happens to be. I think I'm a little more comfortable. I cringe like I tried doing a roast, and I suck. Being mean to somebody was Dennis Rodman. And I'm like, I'm trying to be mean to somebody who I don't even know it was clearly got mental issues. It was also all your big I to fuck. The idea of I just couldn't say at the somebody's like my friends, I bust balls because that's one of the things with rose that I think is missing is when you want to the old roasts in it's the rat pack, and you know, Frank busted on Sammy. You know, what the end of the day? These guys are going to go home arm-in-arm have a drink and be friends. I don't I get really uncomfortable. When I watch arose. We like these people don't know each like, they're taking arsenal. Arsenal. Yeah. Yeah. It's taking hard shots and to me. That's that's that's not. What's funny? I much prefer like you guys bust on each other. Where you know. Hey, this is because we're friends here. Here. Know each other, you know, where it's coming. I think that's kind of why we even try and have something like a friendly report with our audience. So it's fine plus balls on Twitter. Right. It's like strangers because he's like trying to keep in that like we're all pretty friendly here because it is. I can't watch a roast. I I wanna crawl out of my skin comfortable. It's the worst. Yeah. I it really is. You ready? Coulter. You're you're you're happy lavender. But even that was like a horse. Jesus christ. Right. And again, the thing of you, don't you don't get the sense that it's a joke. You get the sense. Like, I'm really feeling exactly. And they're saying things that it's like it's very well known that, you know, you're ugly. Right. You said this you do that. It's like they are going right for the this is this is your weak point in. It is it is also unlike anything else in comedy where it's like you. I mean, you're not gonna get that anywhere else. You're going to hear someone really prey upon their these roast battles or blowing up and people love it. Yeah. And again, it's it's you know, some of them I enjoy watching. I just can't do them the. The roast battles lip sync battle now to everything. I got to do it. Twenty nine thousand NOK barn. I go head to head. Did you work with our guy? Rhone Rhone Rhone like wrote for them before. They probably wrote for El Al in them. We they do anything with us L O cool j by the way that dude is ageless the couch. Tell you he doesn't really get that you guys are younger. But when I was in high school like I remember, I need love and going back to Kelly, and he looks the same. I do not. Philly. He's breaking he's on glut CBS's on. Yeah. That's but you get on that network TV money, man, that's scripted and unscripted not so much. Yeah. The course. Yeah. So I broke my left foot two years ago. And I broke my ankle this season trag, and they're like why are you doing this your weight? I can't say that about guys here come back from like softball, and they're like. I tore my ACL place. Laxa awful because it's it's you just sit around, and then it's periodic movements of the first chilies ham or shoulders act. Ziti Grigoriants is going in for Tommy John. That's right. What is your chance? Doing it. Yeah. You gotta know your limitations as you get older or PD's get he helped we all should be totally. Why don't we all have a prescrip- does? Absolutely hell, I took PD's longtime ago. I'll tell you the best of the best thing what I took like one pill, and I was like I feel like I'm made of stone right now. This is amazing. I came over from Russia. We got a male to the office because we sure they were healthy just radioactive juice from Chernobyl. And I were like well just get them shipped to the office. And that way, we didn't put our name on it. We just put imports. Case of the feds come with them, like we'll just we'll see if they if they. It's coming back. Days. Limitations is that. The american. Enjoy your shit is wild. Like, I can't believe I can't lose any human on the planet who can do it at all. It's like how fast can you? Do. The great thing is it's for not, you know, so many of the people are nontraditional athletes, so people who didn't fit in baseball, football or basketball, or or talk you. Talk dirty. I loved thinki- hockey, some of the best athletes I've ever seen all my roommates in college where hockey Matz, they all had great hair would have one beer that means thousand beers. And they're getting naked in fighting. That is hockey players and still like no tooth having shrinking down to earth people. But with ninja you see these people who were like five seven hundred and fifty pounds didn't play sport. But all of a sudden, they found this thing that that that caters to their particular athletic skill set. And the great equalizer about it is it's hard work each if you put the time in you get better, and it's really been awesome to be a part of something. And I'm sure the Barcelona will love this. But just where you see like these positive stories where you see these people who who overcome cancer or substance abuse, or whatever. And and it is older you get the more. You appreciate in life. You really face some tough shit, and it's awesome. When you see people who go through something knowing that there are people at home who are going through the same things where probably struggling with it. And then to see this, and it gives them hope, and it's unbelievable like the when you live tweet the show. And when you see people saying my God, you know to see someone who's got cancer Ehlers Dan Lewis, and that's what I haven't. And they're on. The course maybe it could be me someday. And so it's nice in a very cynical world. Oh, yeah. Part of something. That's a polar opposites. I cry every fucking time. I see him. I just don't like crying. I don't like really motion. That's my man right there. I was literally down. So I I got to get to work with Travis Pastrana, he did this evil knievel recreated evil stunt, so all night one night people live, and it was unbelievable three jobs and the guys guys free. He's worked with him to walk through on a bike. He's magical. So I go to nitro circus Saturday night in Anaheim. And I'm watching the show and in the middle of it. They talk about this guy, Bruce cook. And they show a jump. He was trying to do a double front and he just lands on his face. And as soon as he does you see him he taps his legs. And he broke his back. He was a paraplegic, and they go through the story, and it was a ninety second package, and I'm sitting in the arena after the whole first part of this is just jobs and cool stuff. Ninety seconds in tears rolling down my face. He comes out in a wheelchair and they put him on a bike. He gets back on a bike. And he does a backflip on a bike. And it was one of these things of I came to this show, not knowing. What to expect? But this was one of those stories where you're like, if if you're not crying and standing up and cheering for this guy. You don't have a heart, and it was one of those it was so unexpected. And I just thought that's what sports can do is is those uplifting. Like, this you want that the miracle on moments that moment where you think on never forget seeing that I agree wholeheartedly that it's incredibly it's personal put ten someone like dude, don't like. Let's keep with the broke back. We'll work on this avenue. Like I worked so hard to fucking fuse your backpack together, you do it again sports guy. I think for him. He's like if I don't then what's the point of me being alive, those guys? So you're right. There was a little bit of that you could still get your arms. They'll lose the the adrenalin junkies. I don't think there's a group of people. I defy with less like scores. Guys those wings. Oh, no. Who'll but I'm like feet off the ground your window of air is zero. And if it's again, it's like you lose. With those I more with those guys because like I've gone skydiving. I love skydiving because if skydiving fucks up. It's over over. Fall break your back. But like if I parachute doesn't open. I don't get hurt. I just die. Totally. If you're logic is sound here. But I don't wanna be in pain. So like if I die whatever that's not. I got nothing that sounds like pissed I wanna feel you said this. I don't wanna feel pain. I don't wanna cry. These are these red flags. To write a series of books on here. I think that's just it's just like I don't have a family to support dye. Whatever. Really revelatory. See this is this is the polar opposite of your stomach. Socks. Just wait until you die play. Maybe your parachute won't work. Why do you live in New York? Trying to accelerate the process we're gonna pay from Russia in Denver. I still feel like Denver home. But I've been in L A Denver. I think we decided recently is the greatest place grapes place because weeds legal. It's actually like nice weatherwise. Right. People don't realize that it actually get over sunny days per, you're right. You're sitting in America. And haven't they aren't they kicking around the idea of three day weekends being permanent? Oh nearby. We really need to worry about music scenes there, you know, and shoots AG is based out of there. So they have more music venues than even Austin. It's the kind you got that airport, man. I will tell you though. The Coors field to me started the transition because when we grew up there was there was no downtown there were two bars down there really and Coors field when they talk about urban renovation used to be just a dilapidated warehouses, and it just spread out from there into loss and restaurants, and I think it just it opened people's eyes to kind of having an urban center and watching the development there, and obviously when Denver's weather is incredible. And we'd being legal doesn't hurt. But it is. It's remarkable. Because we grew we moved there. I think in seventy three and we're we're we live. We were on the southern edge of civilization. And now it's almost contiguous with Colorado Springs, or do you think is like sixty miles away. Like, the development is remarkable. It's the secrets out it's getting crowded, but it is it's an awesome place. Love skiing. I snowboard it for a while. But I have rheumatoid arthritis. So I'm I can't move my neck. And so I'd be like scaling looking just using peripheral vision. And I thought this is not going to end. Well, so yes ski I love snowboard at during my middle school rebellious years. And then I saw like a really old dude snowboarding once and I was like I can't be that guy. He can't you back edge. You just smash your head. That was in the near the threat of concussion. Always always scared me 'cause I like to drink afterwards. That's the most elaborate way to go drinking. That's really what on the fucking everything. And the boats and snap it all down amount. And also that we can drink in snow most. This be there waiting for you guys. That's what most white sports are. Yeah. Skiing. Is a altitude and be like if you're skiing, you really, you get a workout. So that I bear goes right to your head. Even Coors light like three to Coors, light, Colorado, which essentially piss water, it is it'll get you going and there's nothing quite like drinking. Yes. I agree. American ninja warrior American. You are still doing stand up com- doing stand up. I'm going to be at the St Louis funny bone comedy works in Denver coming up. Go to Matt iseman dot com to check on my hilarious, but sadly, clean comedy. And you you still practicing doctor or what God gives us a once over. Yeah. I keep my license. Current. That's just because I. Just because I think like he was like, you know, I want to be able to still say, I'm Dr. Well, so I do a lot of corporate talks. I think they appreciate being able to say like, he's a license MD. Right. And that's the sad part is stand up comedy unless you're Jim gaffe again or Brian Regan or selling out theaters, which I am not just stand up comedy pays nothing. So the corporate gigs are nice, and it's fun to stencil use them. The parents like, oh, it's not a total waste. I tried to keep a car. I got I got the NBA over here toll on even. That's even useless. If you're if you do business the NBA, and I'm not even though. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It gets you a job. Always think it gives you a perspective. It's just it's disciplined in this business. One of the you know, you you guys work your asses off. And I don't know if people know it's not easy to generate content as much as you guys do. And that's one of the things I think people think that's easy. They speak their mind. Like, yeah. Do it every day five days a week two to three hours a day generate articles. And that's that's the thing. People don't realize is this this is still work. You have to work your ass off to be a success. So you know, what you guys grind guys defending us? It's always talking. Nobody makes me feel better about my shitty existed. It's nuts is is the idea of the reason you guys are growing is because I think they feel you again, you speak your mind, and that we need more of that. The I need Alabama speech after my mom this morning. She shame. You. I went to I went to bed at like, eight o'clock last night and I woke up at eight thirty this morning, and I we'd like the last two or three weekends. We've been traveling like we've been working a lot, and my mom goes, oh, you were all Tucker. It out a thirty year old man, I've been working hard. I'm not talking about. It wasn't field day at school today. Like, I'm exhausted from working mom. You know, mom's lowest b Ma. I was literally just at home. My mom was still making my bed doing laundry and making me breakfast. Oh, we've talked about that extent. I would back. If I don't let her do that, she loves it. She. Yeah. It's it's embarrassing at some point. I'll grow up not to that not probably not anytime soon. Man. We appreciate your. Thank you guys continued success. Thank you very much. All right. Big shot to our guy. Matt iceman you think Matt iceman when he's on the bowl. He just uses regular toilet paper. I don't think. So he doesn't look like a man who uses right now, he looks like a very classy sophisticated gentleman who's living in the future. He's probably got himself an omega betray strapped to that toilet seat. I know I do because I want to keep that. But for us imagine walking around with dirty, but couldn't be me. Couldn't be me. I got a clean. But because I roll with amigo, I'm living in the future. Baby. This day, it straps, right? Onto your toilet. Right. Onto the seat. Yeah. Pull this little shoot that water up your butt clean it. Keep it nice and fresh, and I'll tell you something on top of the hygiene, it just feels great you control, the water temperature at the position the pressure the with the movement. Honestly, this sounds like a sexual experience. And it sounds like I just described a sex toy. And I basically kind of do have one trap to my toilet. It's got a heated seat. It's got a night light. It's got a soft closing air. Dry. It's remote controlled. It's got a deodorizer. I mean, this makes your whole toilet experience. God damn luxurious trip to the future. Say goodbye. Just toilet paper. Seal. Save trees and water and electricity. Say goodbye to thirty but keep it clean. Keep it fresh go to omega dot com. I GO dot com slash. So you get a hundred dollars off your next own Migo? That's my own Migo dot com. Oh, I g o dot com slash KFC. This song right here. The greatest remix of the greatest song of all time. Steel drums. You could play anything steel drum made instantly becomes that much chats calendars shout out the time flies when it came on Mike yet. And when I stepped up in here. Show was waiting to see like when. When they call it. We need to understand not throw in. 'cause you understand at Disney grow. Give you tech. Can make on anything. Damian from saw freestyle. You take it home. Mike. Phone goes. I know you could say. Bent down. Let's take him. A sexual innuendo. Anyway. Coming against the memory fan, your brains broken. I've been a mouse. Yeah. This is the reason. Now, we did a weekend too much. Kanako tried to catch you on a pips out of flipping a feed only Sam blast. Ribbit. Pumpkin. Minute. Then let go and we've been doing it big like booking. Rabble. These videos viral. Extremes. Good true. I hate. I wrote the original. Riches.
Aired 4 months ago 32:43
Plants And Prejudice
Undiscovered is supported by transfer wise cheaper way to send money internationally. The economists says, transfer wise takes quote a machete to the hefty fees banks charge, but don't take their word for it more than four million people are already saving sign up at transfer wise dot com. Slash undiscovered or download the app. Undiscovered supported by capterra dot com. The free resource to help you find the software you need for your business. Get their new e book. The big book of free software for free at capterra dot com. Slash undiscovered that c. a. p. t. e. r. r. a. dot com slash undiscovered. He's undiscovered. Want to show you this picture out of Florida. Are these pictures of Burmese python? So we're looking at CNN news flip from years ago. Yeah, I been of soft news a Burmese python was loose in the Everglades and these snakes. These Burmese pythons are usually actually pretty good at hiding, but this one was bound to get noticed eventually because it was huge team footer. It was the length of three people set end to end and as thick as a telephone pole. Yeah, local work crews, spotted at hanging out by some trees. Killed it with a shotgun. And then they noticed that it had this big bulge in the middle. They cut the stomach open. We won't show you that I may tweet it if you want, if head a dear. Oh yeah, you know, seventy, pound beer needed there. That's right. Snakes. I do. Burmese pythons you might guess this from the name come from southeast Asia. We actually brought them over as pets. And the story goes that during Hurricane Andrew baby, snakes escaped from a breeding facility which sounds like a horror movie, and they found that they could survive pretty nicely out in the Florida Everglades. And these things are really scary their videos where alligators tried to attack these things and the snakes pythons are like, no, I am going to eat you. I'm gonna eat you the alligator. So Burmese pythons might feel like an especially dramatic case. But chances are you've actually heard a story like this before we move species from one part of the world to another part of the world by ship by plane by accident, maybe on purpose. Anyway, species shows up someplace new, and if it ends up doing really well in its new home, like to like, so well, that it causes economic health. Or ecological problems, and we call that species an invasive species. Right? We've heard so many stories like this. Emerald ash borers chewing up ashtrays, Asian carp, crowding out native fish in the Mississippi white nose syndrome. It's a fungus that came from Europe. It's killed over six million bats. This kind of thing is happening all over the world, but in the United States alone, thousands of new species have come in plants, insects, viruses, mammals, and the consensus seems to be yet. Non native species are bad news storms gathering on the horizon. An invasion decades in the making is underway. An alien species is sticking claim to the America. National Geographic really driving this message home that foreign species are invading species like killer bee. Zebra mussels snakehead chestnut, blight, Asian, carp, invasion. All right. So what what I am getting from this voice is that an army of bees and fish are swarming in, they are going to murder us all in our sleep though, to be fair. This is actually how National Geographic says beaver. So nature documentaries are always going to hype this stuff up, but it's a problem. People do take very seriously. The federal government has spent billions of dollars fending off these non native species on trapping and poisoning and burning them. But some people think it's all based on the flawed premise of begun thinking about Etienne species, like most of this kind of a band, they he's foreign species coming in and taking over our ecosystems, Fred Pearce and environmental journalist, but the more looked into it, the more I began to think that's kind of phony story. Fred is not alone in this. There are other people, some ecologists included, who think we're getting all worked up about species that aren't really hurting us and that what's driving the war on non native species. It isn't science. It's prejudice. Of course, a lot of scientists and environmentalists completely disagreed today on undiscovered. The fight between environmentalists over one particular species. It's a tree. It's not one you would guess would be specially controversial now, but in the bay area, some people are saying it's putting lives at risk, but it could kill people that it may be already has. So they're going after these trees. They're chopping them down there poisoning stumps. They are trying to protect themselves and other environmentalists are doing whatever day can stop them. That's coming up. Eucalyptus trees on the face of it. They're pretty inoffensive there even likeable. They're tall with bluish-gray leaves. One could say majestic and could say, and they smell like Minty. Lemony kinda medicinal. Yeah, definitely not scary like pythons right there trees. But according to some people, eucalyptus trees are dangerous in their own way. And if you wanna see just how bad they can get. Norman Laforce says, you just have to look at what happened in nineteen ninety one. Sure. Started down in that area. There you see those two round tower thing to the right of that. I was standing with Norman on the outskirts of Oakland just by the side of a road. We were looking down hill at a clump of houses the sun. It almost set this beautiful white fog was rolling in. That's amazing. Pretty. It was getting pretty dark, but I could still kind of make out what Norman was pointing to. There was a slope behind one of the homes. That's where he thinks the fire started. It was Saturday, October nineteenth, nineteen Ninety-one around noon. The day was warm and dry, but it wasn't too windy. So by evening cruise thought they had the fire under control. They kept coming back to check throughout the night, but everything look good. You know, the situation seemed handled. You probably know where this is going here is the latest information that we have on the fire right now. Five fatalities, nine injuries, mostly injuries from smoke inhalation in that area. The mayor of Oakland around eleven the next morning while firefighters were sweeping the area for lingering hotspots, the fire reignited and this time it was not so easily contained within half an hour. People were evacuating their homes pretty soon. The roads are clogged, and traffic is barely moving. The situations devolving leave. In this video, a man is running between the cars urging people to get out. He's talking to a woman in the front passenger seat who's just weeping with her hands on our face on the side of the road, the fires burning in these wild billowing waves. Then the video cuts to people who are already on foot weaving past stand in cars. By the time officials declared the fire over two days later, it had consume more than three thousand phones and killed twenty five people that point. It was the worst fire in California's history. During the nineteen Ninety-one fire Norman Laforce was living in the hills. Norman was the guy who was showing me where the fire started is actually out campaigning day because I was running for election to else. Reto city council out rito is a small city in the East Bay hills, and this was Norman's first time running for a seat. So of course he's going door to door. He's introducing himself and that's when he smelled smoke, saw embers coming down, realize there was there was a fire. The fire didn't end up reaching Norman's neighborhood and his house was fine. Any one that city council seat, but Norman Laforce. He wasn't about to sit back on the sidelines on this issue. He is one of these people who gets involved in everything not just city council. He's active in his local Sierra Club chapter. He's founded environmental groups himself. His name pops up in the local newspapers, pretty regularly, and like a lot of people Norman wanted to know how this fire got so out of control. The femur report pointed out if you. Sins, including hot dry seasonal wins, and five years of drought too big factors that of course they couldn't control but Norman and other local zeroed in on something that they could control eucalyptus trees. It was quite apparent after reading about everything and seeing it that you just trees are very far dangerous. Eucalyptus trees are from Australia. Californians brought them here on purpose in the eighteen fifties. And over the next few decades. They planted these trees in cly mainly the blue gum eucalyptus. And if you read newspapers from the time, you would think the blue gum was the giving tree. It was just good for everything for lumber, wind breaks shade and medicinal oils and just for being pretty always green the charm to the IOT every season of the year. Just tall lies that crease f-full to behold it's swaying in the passing. Breezes is to behold the poetry of motion. I mean, it's a fine looking. Tree, but poetry of motion at strong. Yeah, that was particularly gushy op-ed from nineteen o seven urging people to plant even more eucalyptus well, turned out eucalyptus from those plantations. The lumber was kind of terrible. It's split and it warped, but it was too late. Eucalyptus was all over California. Now, all trees, any vegetation can catch fire and eucalyptus trees were not the only thing that burned in nineteen Ninety-one. But there are a couple of things that make these trees, especially worrying for some people. I there oily the oil is actually what gives them that kind of Minty smell. And they also shed a lot of bark and leaves even branches. They drop all that on the ground form, a thick litter bed, which means that there's potentially a lot of fuel to burn. So for Norman, the solution to the seems obvious cut down the dangerous Australian trees. Let native vegetation grow back and this idea, it's gained real traction. The bay. Area has cut down thousands of these trees over the past few decades and they might have removed a lot more if it wasn't for this guy, Dan GRA study of lived in Berkeley Oakland Hills since I was thirteen and I'm sixty three now. So fifty years I met Dan at his house last fall. And while we were talking his, his kitten, Tony was snuggled up kept batting at the microphone. Hear Tony anyway while Dan and I talked, I was looking out his living room window at this green hillside. Really fortunate to be Tony, very fortunate to be looking out at an area that is guaranteed to not be developed. It really was lush and green, and and this is the landscape the Dan's known since he was a kid. You lipped us have always been a really big part of that. But then there was one fateful summer day while I was writing my motorcycle down Claremont avenue, and I had to stop because they were trees falling across the road, and I parked the bike got off and I went up to the person who seemed to be responsible my ass. What are you doing? Who's doing this? It turns out it was a local volunteer group who got a grant to cut down eucalyptus trees. Dan doesn't remember getting up particularly good reason for why. So the discussion quickly went downhill. So Dan starts investigating and over time he learns, it's not just this spot on Claremont avenue. Eucalyptus trees are being targeted all over the bay area. And pretty soon, Dan is one of the loudest opponents of eucalyptus clearing asking, basically, can you really prove that these trees are dangerous? Like do you have the science to back that up or do you have something else against them? So Dan forms, the hills, conservation network, a little volunteer group with a mission to preserve these forests. They only have a few members, but they're very ambitious in two thousand fifteen. They actually sue the federal government over plans to clear eucalyptus in the hills. They say, this is just bad fire management strategy, and the government actually backs down. They settle with dance group. They pull funding from two big tree cutting programs. This is a major win for team eucalyptus effing amazing other people not as pleased Norman, the guy who gets involved in everything. A lot of his activism is with the local Sierra Club, and they had actually sued the government over these plans to accept they wanted. The opposite from dance group. They wanted even more trees cut down. Poor government can't get anything night anyway. They lost that battle to Dan. And the thing about Dan that I think is interesting is it's not like he's one of these like bleeding-heart tree lovers who just hand not stand to see a single tree cut down. He just doesn't buy that. Eucalyptus trees are all that dangerous that they are the reason the bay area burned so badly in nineteen Ninety-one. He thinks people are just pinning the blame on them. Are you saying they're basically being scapegoated in the fire debate? I think they're, they're being used as a. Yes, they're being scapegoated. They're being used as a way to advance an agenda using funds that were intended for something else. Coming up one possible other agenda and whatnot. CS have to do with invasion biology. Covered is supported by capterra dot com. We all face unexpected hurdles at work. Don't let finding the right software. One of them download capterra's new book, the big book of free software for free. I kept here dot com slash undiscovered, whether you're looking for new project management tool recruiting software, or an Email marketing solution. Capterra big book of free software. Has you covered visit capterra dot com. Slash undiscovered. That's capterra c. a. p. t. e. r. r. a. dot com slash undiscovered. Undiscovered supported high transport wives. The cheaper way to send money abroad built by the brains behind Skype transfer wise takes a machete to the heavy fees that come with sending money internationally, so don't get stung by a bad exchange rate or sneaky fees. During the former people were already saving with transfer wise. That's it out for free transfer wise dot com. Slash undiscovered or download the app. It's the wise way to send money. Net is a podcast from WBZ where we talked to some of your favorite or soon to be favorite people about their dirtiest obsession. If there's something that feels the closest to religion to me right now, it's house plants. The pen is modern, the sort well, the typewriter is mightier than the musk. There are certain episodes of the original Star Trek that our cultural markers for a half time was internet wherever you get your podcast never debt. Most of the stories that we hear about non native species are not happy ones. Some of them are downright terrifying, but here's another story. It's from Puerto Rico. A few decades ago. People in Puerto Rico started moving to cities. They were abandoning farmland, farmland that had once been forest now, great Jones for nature to recover, Fred, Pierce. Again, the environmental journalists we heard from earlier with the local species couldn't do it. After all those years of farming, the soil was really badly rooted and a lot of native plants just could not grow in it, but a foreign won the African tulip tree, good. Suddenly, the African to started spreading across Puerto Rico into the abandoned foam, not VIN native birds started nesting the branches of the African and more species came frogs, bats, insects. Most of them were native to Puerto Rico. Some of them weren't, but they were all. Living together, creating this new kind of ecosystem. So you could see that as a foreign tree invading. But from Fred's perspective, this is just nature taking over. It's just not the same nature that was there before Dan with the kitten classic invasive species. By the way that is true. Anyway, Dan says, some people are eucalyptus trees because they have this idea that you can lift us just doesn't belong here. They're not from California. They weren't here until relatively recently, but this is one of the points that people like Fred are always making nature is always changing species always moving you to not case in point thirteen thousand years ago, there were camels roaming North America, camels. I didn't know this the camels that aren't other parts of the world today. Their ancestors actually came from here. So species are always moving nature is always changing, who is to say which species are properly native and belong here and which ones don't. That's the argument anyway. And that might. Sound kind of abstract like nature is chained, but they're actually plenty of non native animals and plants that we do like, and that we actually depend on. They're just so familiar that we have stopped thinking of them as quote, unquote aliens cows honeybees weet soy and chickens like much of American agriculture comes from other parts of the world. Right? So this idea that outsider species are bad that we shouldn't let them in. What is that actually about? I mean, they call it just will hate me for saying this, but I think they hoping xenophobic about this Zena phobia, which by the way is not just a fear of foreign people can be a fear. He treated of anything foreign visited foreign species of bad in the same way that you know some illiberal people if you like, make an assumption that foreign people bad. Remember how NAT GO talks about invasive species alien species. Sticking claimed the America. Some colleges Tsao. A whole lot like that. Actually, one leading researcher once warned that a growing army of invasive species was overrunning America, and that quote, every part of the United States is under attack and it's not just Fred, who is accusing colleges of being xenophobic. Historians philosophers have made the section even colleges. One of the most outspoken critics is an ecology named Mark Davis, and he told me, yeah, this is basics phobia. This is versus them. It's just how we like to divide the world. Of course, if you call somebody's phobic or suggests that their views are somehow prejudiced, they're going to get their backup. Take what happened a couple of years ago, Dan Norman were invited to this local synagogue to talk about the flip disc question here is how Dan are eucalyptus defender started off. I want to start off with just a brief something to think about this insert this whole native versus nonnative. So how did I get here? It turned out that my parents had to leave Europe in the early forties because a gentleman by the name of that Hitler was killing off all our relatives. And as a result of that, they, they became invasive species. They came to the United States and they produced me and three others. And now we're invasive species in this land. Now, as this is happening, Norman, he has his hands clasped in front of him, and he's looking down fidgeting with his thumbs. And when Dan says Adolf Hitler, Norman does not say a word, but for a few moments, he stops fidgeting. He looks frozen, but eventually it's his turn to talk and I really resent. I have to say this. I'm sorry, I really resent the implication that I am somehow connected with the Nazis because I wanna see a restoration. It's a widely understood principle of debates that if you mentioned the Nazis and. Suggests that your opponent is somehow aligned with Nazi thinking. You're very unlikely to have a productive conversation unless you are actually dealing with Neo Nazis or white supremacist, right? But Dan, he's not just making this up. There actually is a Nazi connection here. It's a connection that haunts invasion biology because people will keep bringing it up Michael pollen in nineteen ninety four New York Times op Ed. Stephen Jay Gould in an essay that he wrote just a few years before he died, Fred, the journalists we talked to, he wrote about it in his book too. So here's the connection. We know Nazis were obsessed with so-called racial purity, but some in Nazi Germany were also obsessed with purifying the land, a leading government botanist wanted to quote cleanse the German landscape of unharmonised foreign substance in nineteen forty two German botanists compared the fight against impatience per flora, which is just a little plant with yellow. Oh, flowers to the fight against Bolshevism. They called it the Mongolian invader and demanded a quote war of extermination, Michael pollen in his times peace and Fred, when I talked to him, they were pretty clear that no, they're not saying that people who want non native plants gone are secretly fascists or Nazis sympathizers, even Dan in that same debate where he brings up the Nazis. He says, there's nothing inherently evil about native plant restoration. Still for colleges, these nutsy mentions Zena phobia accusations. It's all pretty exasperatingly. Yet the xenophobia argument just from personal level, it's not where I'm coming from, and it's not where I think invasion science is coming from is not this fear of the other. Sarah keeping is an assistant professor in the biological sciences department at the university of Pittsburgh, Sarah's an invasion biologist, and her research is all about what nonnative plants are doing. Ecosystems and no surprise. She says her field is not prejudiced against non native species. She says they're real reasons that we worry about them because in ecosystems, newcomers act very differently from the locals not new species are different because they are dropped into place without any of the other species they've co evolved with, which for a lot of them is probably a difficulty. If you don't have the pollinators pollinate your flowers, or you don't have a disperse her to disperse your fruits fungus to hug your roots up with nitrogen. These are mutualist species, right? The good guys who helped you survive and reproduce MAC in your homeland. And maybe that's why a lot of non native species. They end up being pretty harmless. They show up, but they don't have their friends around them. They don't have their co-conspirators or the climate just isn't quite right, and they end up not doing that great, but, but you also might be missing a lot of the bad guys that sort of keep you in check which could explain. What happened with the emerald ash Borer when it landed in North America, it had this big tasty buffet of ashtrays in front of it, but it had left most of its predators and parasites back home. So it didn't have much holding it back, just terrible for ashtrays. And that is real. It is not xenophobia to wanna stop a beetle to save ash trees for Sarah. That's just basic stewardship talking to Sarah and to Fred, who's been criticizing her field. It seemed like their differences were less about the facts than about emphasis like, Fred, he's with zero on this. He says, yes, some non native species do cause problems, and it's legitimate to care about those problems to worry about it to want to do something. He just wants to remove this assumption that all non native species are bad, like across the board, right. And Sarah, she never claimed they all were, but she doesn't want to take the risk given that some are so in the end regardless of which side you're on. It's pretty clear that when we're trying to decide. And how good or bad a particular species is. We can't just ask, is it from here? We have to look at species on a case by case basis. Which brings us back to the debate that started all of this for us. Eucalyptus trees, right? Eucalyptus trees. Norman says that they are dangerous dances. There isn't good evidence to back that up. What is the science say? I really. I really wanted to get to the bottom of this. Yeah, so I read up on it. I contacted wildfire experts. Eight wildfire. And most experts told me that you Khalip trees are serious, fire hazard. Hallelujah yet for an answer. It's yeah, it's more complicated. I I know it is always is. It wasn't major exception. Dave Maloney, he's actually a retired firefighter and fire investigator. He is like one of the loudest defenders of the eucalyptus lineup of like, you know six out of seven dentists recommend dentist, right? He was saying to me, sure, you've got these people telling you that you clipped his trees are dangerous, but what are these claims based on what. Is the actual evidence. And the truth is I didn't have the evidence that I was looking for a nice comprehensive study that looks at all the factors that go into fires, litter beds, oil and moisture content and length flame links. Yet you heard me talking about that so much about family. We have pieces, but we don't have studied that adds up. All those factors tells us how hazardous blue gum eucalyptus trees are, and then compares them to native California vegetation. Right. 'cause that's burns to, and you need to know compared to what right compared to what what is actually worse. But it left me really frustrated because I had expert opinion that's worth a lot, but it was mixed and I didn't have a study to back up what they were saying and and that is, that's frustrating. But I feel like maybe it's time to step back a little bit fire is obviously a problem throughout California, and it's one we've been hearing about more and more this year and last California broke records for the largest and most destroy. Active fires in its history and with these fires, no one's pinning the blame on eucalyptus trees. They're blaming houses built right up against all that very flammable wilderness. They're blaming powerful winds that dried out vegetation, like the weather, basically the weather, the weather, and also climate change like you can't pin anyone fire on climate change, but big picture. You also can't talk about California fire problems without talking about climate change. In other words, California's fire problems, they are so much bigger and more intractable than its trees. But on a few dozen acres in the East Bay hills, not far from Dan Garcetti's house. A group of all in tears is still trying to create a eucalyptus free zone. It's actually the same group that Dan saw all those years back cutting down trees by the road, the Claremont canyon conservancy. There's still plenty of eucalyptus trees in the hills, but they've carved out this little native plant basis and they're making sure that eucalyptus stays out toll thing. Victor, you John. A fifteen foot tall eclipse tree just is this pale greenish grey thing. It's totally blending in with the rest of a leaves in the branches. But Tom clad, he has an eye for this. He's a retired environmental land manager from Berkeley, and he dives right in crawls through the Bush till it reaches that you size it down dabs on a few drops. Purpose. I'd you got it. Another you with the dust we've found. Yes, this is the fourth you. Instead of good is because Tommaso very good. Tom ends up nabbing eight UCS in just a few hours and the volunteers are clearly very impressed with his hall. Tell me, no, this will not stop fires from happening altogether, but having fewer UCS in general, they think it'll make them safer, but there are limits to what they can do even here with all their hard work eucalyptus are not giving up so easily. Is that a giant eucalyptus Trico is that just before we headed back to the road, I see this enormous eucalyptus tree just looming over the south side of the restoration grounds. Have two thousand dollars. It's going to stay there. Thousand dollars to remove because it's a very remote area of the road is right over there, but to get to this tree and have to go down and then come back up with huge chainsaw cutting down that one tree would cost. Thousands might be specially expensive, but cutting down big old trees is never cheap, and there are millions of eucalyptus across California. So we'll just leave when they're. More than a century ago, Californians eucalyptus seeds from the other side of the world. He planted them across forty thousand acres for shade for beauty for a lumber industry that never took off now. They've grown up into big old trees in there firmly rooted like it or not for these Austrailia and trees. California's home. Undiscovered is reported in produced by me. Ella fetter and me anti-mafia. Our senior editor is Christopher Intel Yata, and our composer is Daniel Peterson, our production intern is Caitlin. Swale Jay. We had fact checking help for this episode for Michelle Harris. I am robot in proud, wrote our theme. Thank you to the whole science Friday staff as always, and also thank you to Ray magical who videotaped the synagogue debate and let us use his audio. Finally, thank you to the many people on both sides of this issue who spent hours talking to me taking me for nature walks and providing me with documents. There is so much more to this issue. We barely scratched the surface, so we have some links up at our website if you'd like to learn about the science and history of invasion biology or about eucalyptus trees, find that undiscovered podcast dot ORG, undiscovered, podcasts, dot org. And we'll see you next week. Undiscovered supported by transfer wise, the cheaper way to send money abroad built by the brains behind Skype transfer wise, cakes Michetti to the Hepi fees that come with sending money internationally. So don't get stung by a bad exchange rate or sneaky fees. During the former people were already saving with transfer wise. That's it out for free transfer wise dot com. Slash undiscovered, download the app. It's the wise way to send money.