35 Burst results for "Grad School"
Interview With Paul Davison and Rohan Seth of Clubhouse
"So today. We're releasing a special live episode of the show. It's my conversation with paul davison and rohan. Seth co founders of the social media app clubhouse. I spoke with pawn rohan back in april for a how i built. This live event that we did on clubhouse now. If you don't know a clubhouse is that may be because you choose to ignore news and that's okay no judgment but basically it's a social media app but in audio format clubhouse allows people to an audio chat rooms to discuss anything from sports to politics to networking and currently the app has over ten million users clubhouse launched in march of twenty twenty just as the pandemic began shutting things down. The timing couldn't have been better since there was a newfound demand for people to connect. Virtually paul ro haunt of started working on what would eventually become clubhouse a year earlier in two thousand nineteen. It was the first business they ever worked on together which is surprising because before that they kind of lived. Parallel lives both attended stanford for undergrad and grad school. Both spend time working at google and both started social media apps that were eventually acquired the first place paths could have crossed was at stanford row. Han came to the. Us from india and was getting his undergraduate degree in computer. Science and paul was trying to break into the startup world while he was at stanford graduate school of business and honestly. It's probably generous to claim that. I that i knew what i was doing. I was just really interested. In getting involved in the start up world and so i like the idea of going back to stanford and just immersing myself in that so it was a great experience. I went back to school there and spent most of my time just working on independent research projects working with local startups and entrepreneurs doing small group dinners and faculty lunches and and thinking about start-up ideas and business school. I think is kind of what you make of it
IGI Researchers Are Using CRISPR to Reduce Cyanide in Cassava
"Like everyone took wrestler guts. Today's episode we're not covering medicine or science communication. It's something different but also equally important will covering chris boden agricultural. So today with us. We have jessica lions and michael gomez and they're going to talk about their work gain casella so when come guys please introduce yourself stewart audience. Hi i'm just. lions staff. scientists. In dan rockstars lab at uc berkeley and the pi of our project at the innovative genomics institute to use crisper to engineer. Cassava without sign wants michael gomez. I'm a postdoctoral scholar in the fast food lab. At the innovative john institute also working jess on cassava and other crops for disease resistance. Thank thanks can you talk a little bit about how you got into this space off. You know either being interested in agriculture and also getting into crisper in agriculture. Now maybe tied with the shirt. I come at this from the end of genomic so i i'd morning on cassava listens twenty twelve and twenty fifteen or something some really interested in using modern genetic approaches to facilitate the improvement of africa crops so As christopher became more of a a more of an option for sava thousand certified segue on into collaborating with golden brian. On using chris burton december. I entered grad school in dozen twelve really strong interest in diseases. How they work how that plays host and at that time crisper urge and it has been a roller coaster. seeing how this technology has been applied. It's been a lot of fun. And i'm excited to apply for disease resistance but also poor consumer safety space.
Interview With Kate and Jes From the Seltzer Squad Podcast
"Hello my friends. I know you are going to be so super stoked about this episode. I am so freaking excited. You guys love these guys. And i have been waiting to record this episode for weeks. I'm so excited you guys. We have seltzer squad on addiction. Unlimited bringing to awesome podcast together. I love a good collaboration. So kate and jess welcome to the show. Thank you so much for doing this with me. Why don't you guys take a minute. Introduce yourselves and tell my listeners. A little bit about you and what you do all right. Well i'm just. Valentine and i am a tattoo artist. I live in brooklyn new york. And i am half of seltzer squad. Podcast a podcast about staying sober in the city and just trying to Stay cool and not boring guest kate you. He's over having us on. We're very excited. I'm kate the other half of social squad. I am a freelance our director. I am a grad school. Hopefully grad school student for her to become a therapist. one day what else. I'm a cat. Mom introverts pace. I guess that really sums it up. Yeah. i'm a pisces. Work in school consume most of my life these days. So i don't really have any other slashes data on right now plus we've been quarantine i remember out of the. Yeah i remember those days. Well when work in school took over my life but i was already old. I didn't even go to college until i was thirty seven. I think or thirty eight something like that. So both of you ladies are in new york. I'm thursay technically. But i'm right across the river so we act i buy as a new yorker. We're very close. We're very closely two miles away from one another. But yeah
The Fashion of the 90s, With Colleen Hill
"We are so close to be joined to discuss all of the above with our friend and one of my mentors actually from grad school colleen hill colleen is a curator of costume and accessories at the museum. Fit and her book fashioned in the nineties is the exhibition catalogue for forthcoming exhibition of the same name at the museum at fit calling. We are so thrilled to welcome you to the show today. Welcome to trust colleen. Welcome to journalists. This is very much overdue. Some of our fashion historian. Listeners will probably know that you and i r- very dear friends but we've been trying to get you on forever and ever so. I'm so excited to talk to you today about your new project. Thank you. i'm really happy to be here. Yeah so some time ago you shared with me. I was like what. What are you working on now. And you said that your new project on fashion and the ninety s. And i was like ooh like hell ambitious and the reason i say this is ninety s. Fashion is very tricky period of time to tackle. It's not all that long ago. It's not like it's forgotten. And you and i were actually both teenagers in the ninety s. I think a little bit older than you. So i was early nineties. You're kind of late ninety s but we lived these close firsthand so it's not like we don't know anything about them and that's really interesting in and of itself because it's a bit of a rarity oftentimes that s fashion stories. We're working on periods where we actually wore those fashions. So the reason i'm saying it's tricky is because the nineties. The styles in fashion is exceedingly resistant to categorization. Would you agree with that. Oh yes that was one of the biggest houses with project. And you have this wonderful quote early on in the book and you're quoting a fashion journalist. Marion hume who wrote in harper's bazaar and the december nineteen ninety nine issue. You know like we're right on the edge of like going to the next millennium. And she said quote. We have lurched from modern to retro from glitz glamour from puritan pretty from military to minimal. Only to max. Out at the finale with an opulent flourish of beating and a rash of irony.
Lifelong Superfan Gets Paid to Write Disney Blog
"That he has always been passionate about disney ever since she took her first trip to disney world. When she was ten she fell in love with theme park and started saving money to go back in fact she began writing her own personal guidebook and she kept returning over and over throughout the next decade and even chose disneyworld as the location for her honeymoon since so much of her life was connected to this happy place. Becky decided she would share her passion publicly fresh out of grad school. She had just gotten a job. As a children's librarian. The work was ideal. It was what she wanted to do but the salary was fairly low and she had student loans to repay. She'd already been writing for other websites on all things. Disney and realize that can make a lot more sense if she had her own platform that she could control with these two reasons in mind. Becky started her blog. Disney in your day. This was back in two thousand thirteen when there weren't nearly as many blogging resources. There are now so. Becky had to figure out how to set up her own platform. She kept it simple using wordpress and five dollar a month hosting package that was their total startup. Costs five dollars a month next. She continued writing for other sites but use those articles to sprinkle in links to her own site. This help disney and your day get off to a good start avoiding the obscurity that many blogs remain stuck in of course having a blog and making money from it or not the same thing and monetize a blog can be challenging in baggies case she started with using google ad since a common way for blogs or websites to make money a few years ago. And it's still possible now. Just less common. Almost immediately began earning twenty five to fifty dollars a month from those ads. Adding an affiliate programs brought to one hundred dollars a month which was a start. Although the time she invested into the site was not commensurate with the income. She was making the writing in creative process with something that she enjoyed. So it didn't feel much like work. still increasing. The income generated by blog was a problem that she was stuck on for a long time.
Jasmine Green Talks Plants And Cities
"All right. Jasmine green thank you. So much for coming on the podcast. How about we start off by telling everyone a little bit about who you are and what it is. You do sir jasmine green. I am a pg candidate at uc davis. And i studied plants in vacant. Lots and more broadly plants in cities and generally urban ecology so. I definitely didn't start out as a plant person per se and so it's been an incredible journey. I think in grad school mostly as far as getting really introduced to plant and all the cool things that they do. Ecosystem is the collagen wise largely. I would say. I was more interested from a landscape perspective of what could deal and my in my department of plant sciences department which has a real focus on the people side of research. I would say more like applied research. And that's where our lab which does urban ecology work really fit in because as you mentioned urban districts are really complex and large part of that complexity comes from them being designed for people so a lot of you know the traditional kind of theory of like how communities are structured or how ecosystems are formed in succession in. That kind of stuff is really really different. People are the ultimate like each constructors. You know they can. They've designed this entire system. That is really in the interest of this one species which humans so from from my point of view. I started as a masters student. And i was looking at yard. Transformation so looking at lawns like in like single family homes and so in california. Which is very i go to school where you live right now. One of the main ecological issues in environmental issues drought and saving water. For you know for those drought times to make sure enough water considered for people years for there to be used in agriculture and also to maintain for environmental quality
Building a More Diverse and Inclusive Academia With Shaz Zamore
"Really want to share. Maybe what if if you have seen changes between when you went through grad school or university and what you see happening today in terms of you know being a woman being a woman of color being being non binary woman of color. Can you talk a little a little bit about the good things that you're seeing happening and how they compared to maybe some experiences that you've had. Yeah yeah so so i. I did identify as women for most. I've always identified as gender queer. But like i've i've occupied women's spaces and had that experience for most of a career and i. It's it's a tough question so it's changed and it hasn't changed. There are definitely. I've seen a lot more top down. I've seen a lot more Administration and kind of structural changes that go in positions. The committee Just this focus on evaluating truly evaluating. How faculties students are are engaging in participating in diversity in in most importantly inclusive efforts which is a cultural shift Not just numerical ship. So i've seen a lot more of that and that's really great. I think it's feel personally. It might just be where. I am in my career and the kind of accolades. I have behind me at this point. But i feel much more comfortable speaking out when something is not okay than i did before I feel like even. If i was an i often am the only black person in the room and somebody says something and no pun intended off color. I feel like if i were to stand up and say something. My white colleagues would be in support rate. That's something that. I think certainly didn't happen to grad school for so that's nice. I like to see that. But then there's also i think we haven't quite had the collective realization about how much has to change War to to actually make a truly inclusive environment And so in that frame. There's kind of like at the individual level at at like the bottom up like who however we rallying to really care about that that's still lacking again because i think we frankly just don't sit down and have the practice of thinking about what the future is. What's it gonna look like. What's what's the classroom physically going to look like. what's lecture actually going to contain. How all of these things. It really sit down and quantify so much scientists as thinkers. But we're not sitting down to quantify what that actually what's it gonna look like. What the end result. How do we actually predict. There's no practice of that And so it's kind of like this. Big hand wavy gray mass. We're like yeah. We're making it better but you. You can't actually make it better if you don't have a goal in mind and so there we really need to see that progress still feels like we need to have some inclusiveness you x. specialist user experience versus to kind of model. What it's going to actually feel like for the for the users war in this case the the students. Yeah question are there. You've you've had to clearly from what you're saying deal with some some some difficulties some exclusion in or you know in your in your path. But were their strategies. Were there things you did or poor people in your path that that were helpful and that you can You know the yeah. They were helpful with that. And are there. Is there some advice for someone who's now at this institution or even in this group sometimes. It's just there's group dynamics writers group culture that is those somehow not so accepting and and that's that's difficult. Is there some advice you can give based on your experience of overcoming these obstacles and coming out stronger after yeah and my advice is echoed by research have a support group has abort group has support group having support group. Have people you can go and go back to your base code. Go back to that natural language. Drop your guard you know. Be yourself be really comfortable. You gotta have those the especially as any sort of minorities especially as intersectional a have your support group for intersectional people. I will acknowledge it. Super hard like for me. For example. Black spaces aren't always queer friendly spaces. Queer friendly spaces aren't always black friendly spaces as really hard thing to navigate. Still even if you're not fully relaxed even if you can't find a black. We are space for example at combination. Even those little bits that you get steps to single person even it goes so far There was one fellow who i think about as mentor. I can't i know his name is added. can't remember his last name but he was a new faculty. he was working in molecular biology at u. Dub i was in bio so we were in the same hallway and i would see him in the hallway. We kinda wave at each other walking by and then when he pulled me aside we just started chatting and anytime i saw him. We would just like stop in the hallway and chat for two or three minutes. Maybe we got a coffee and it was just this idea. It really created this sense of of of culture for meaning academia of what. I really nurtured a thing i needed. And it set the precedent right. Like here's someone. When i see someone frequently you're part of my community. I should have relationship with you to some degree and so in that that. That's someone that i think about a lot. That's a it's a behavior. I think about a lot. How can i bring that forward And i think things like that are also really important like looking at how people give you the cultural needs. Meet your cultural needs and how you can help that with some. Bring that to somebody else.
Applying RL to Real-World Robotics with Abhishek Gupta
"Gupta aspect is a phd student at uc berkeley. Where he works with folks. Like peter l. and sergei levin who've had on the show before abstract. Welcome to the terminal podcasts. Thanks forward to digging in and learning more about your work and your background. What got you interested in. Studying our al and robotics. Yes so so. I think my first experience with robotics was actually This first lego league that bump additions where we would like make these lego robots than they would like do these challenges and when we first did it we made the robots just by heart goading all the different primitives and programs to do everything and that works to some extent but i think when i came to berkeley it was really exciting to see that people had more sophisticated techniques to control. Robots was also the only thing that had ever done before then in terms of project experience and so i reached out to a number of professors I called the projects cool and beater specifically had a lot of research at that time on folding laundry and flying helicopters and i was like wow this is this is really amazing so at least to him as a freshman and and then he you know. He hired me as an assistant in his lab to kind of help out with some software engineering projects in some research projects. And kinda got started on research from there and so then like the first set of experiences that i had there. Were kind of like helping grad students and post docs on their research projects which were largely related to folding laundry in dying noughts and folding thousand things that peter was excited about at the dime and from there i think click grad school my research and interest under a lot more towards enforcement learning and learning based ideas. Oh cool so within that of of our and our alpha robotics. And i guess maybe that's broad from a tomato perspectives. Since we've had a bunch of conversations on your where do you focus like what are what are your research interest within those fields. Yeah so i guess. Since i am a person who was really excited about robotics and i wanna get robots to work because i think they have a lot of impact and i see. Rls a great dual to enable robotics more so than exploring rl for the sake of water. And so what i specifically think about a lot is like what are the things that prevent us from applying reinforcement learning robotics problems in the real word. So for instance if we want a robot the like operating kitchen and being up your kitchen or make a meal what is it. That's preventing the algorithms at work on. I'll go out for star. Whatever for being applied to these types of systems. And so i specifically think about like. There's a mismatch assumptions between what these algorithms typically assume and what's actually available in the real world. It's like i think about. How do we bridge these mismatched assumptions. So specifically what i mean by that is for instance in a game or in a in a video game or a board game. You'd assume that the score is provided so that award function it's daily easily available but in the vale where there's no score. Which tells you what you're doing. That are for instance in video game. You can collect millions of samples but in a physical robot if you do that with random expiration. You're gone either. Break yourself for the environment and then also just like. There's a lot of assumptions that we make where we can hide are gertie laundry in simulation. So we can like reset the wherever we want or we can like magically set the state of the world in some ways and a lot of our algorithms are critically reliant on these assumptions but in the real world. You just can't do that and so kind of been thinking about. How do we bitch mismatched assumptions. In that way and the problems. That are most interesting to the one that you mentioned earlier that you can cut your teeth on with peter in saturday like folding laundry and not tying and that kind of thing or you have some other When you think about your work. Do you have some set of canonical problems. That come to mind. Yeah that's a great question. So i think it'd be great if we could fold our laundry at byron ought to do the things that we used to do but i don't think we're quite there yet so i think we're still getting objects to be pushed at on and picked out and more basic skills before we can get to the more complex ones that so there's like more averages paradox which would which indicates that like learning low level skills can often be harder than learning the higher level ones and. I think we're kind of stuck in battery him but we're making a lot of progress. I think
Harvard Secrets For Purchasing A Business, with Ahron Oddman
"My commitment in this podcast was to bring on people who are more interesting and smarter than me and erin. I definitely did that with you. Thanks for joining us april. Thank you for that kind introduction. I'm excited to be with you. It up this conversation. This is so fun. So i our colleagues a few years ago and what i always was just so struck by. Aaron is how humble you are and how even though in many -cations. I've been in the room with you when you were the smartest person in the room you never played. That never made that something that was even known to other people other than by the way you express yourself so getting to say all the things that you are was really exciting. Because if i were you. I would lead. Yeah when you lay it out you know it's like you look back and you got a lot more done than you than you thought right. I think you and i are probably people that are always oriented to the future right looking forward like okay. There's this mountain but it is worth taking some time and taking stock and looking back at the mountains behind his. I mean in a huge way. They kind of got you. You are right and defined you in some ways Is interesting doesn't cool things. And i'm glad our cross our paths cross In our last adventure right the high growth entrepreneurial got to work with tech work with people so ever so fun now. You stop me. If i'm not allowed to tell the story but what i love when we worked together is just the different and unique viewpoint that you always brought to things because you are very analytical you see things from a profitability standpoint where i am completely go with your gut and i remember us sitting and talking about the likelihood of startups like encino where we were them being successful and you knew the probability of any company doing adventure like that being successful. Do you remember that conversation. do bigly. and i'm sure it was born out of being overly analytical. Right everything's yes about. This occurs the gift that occurs. Then be i just come from business. School where i just kind of made it. My mission like tried to distill. What worked why did things work. And some of these businesses and so the numbers for failure is so starring in front of mine. Be i remember that it was amazing to me. Because you had the the actual probability you just off the top of your head. Well you know april on average. This is the kind of success rate companies. Like this can see. And i was shocked because i don't analyze in that same way and i thought yeah i feel like it's going to go gangbusters. That's great. what is that based on. And that's where i was like. Oh my gut. Like i kind of feel like it's gonna be great gravid but you're right you know i. It turned out you're right in. The statistics are just numbers. Right to help you make decisions but at the end of the day. Like gotta turn around and say well you know. Seventy percent chance of rain are brought this coldness umbrella and it didn't rain. I based right. I can't be mad at like the weather may under the umbrella for it not having rain I mean you're right in like even pull the curtain back a little further. When i was leaving business school ios app military went to business school. The kind of kick the can down the road and it was like okay. Now i gotta get a up job. And dr teeny encino presented itself and it was based in wilmington is coastal carolina. There are other opportunities right in bigger cities maybe more mainstream companies and as tomar my wife and friends and i was like you know i think they have enough money to like make go at it for two years which kind of that met my criteria for like. Let's do it. Sounds like a probably won't work. When when i say probably the bases the base word of that is probabilistically. Great but you know good people. I've met enough. You know amazing. People he worked with they had enough for two years. I figure i wouldn't have the move for de year is in the military that's forever right commanded that that's a full tour of duty right and then so you're like okay. Then i'll play the game to see the next car. You know that's dell that's kind of how i looked at it so people always all the time. Were like remember when you said that things probably never going to work. And but that's not what you said that so it's interesting when you clarify it right. You're like the probability is against it. But i'm here. We shows i believe in it. And i just loved that conversation because i feel like every opinion that you express is very well thought out. It is very backed by fact if you will and since it was so opposite of the way that i tend to operate i was drawn to it and just that made you seem even more genius to me regardless of the fact that you also i think are genius. I don't know if you have a mensa card and you probably wouldn't admit it if you do so one of the things that you also talked to me about. And it actually gets us to this journey that you're on now was what you learned when you were in business school about acquiring a business and i'd love free to shared that with the listeners. Because if you remember you. And i stayed after some training and you had me completely captivated you wrote this out on a whiteboard and i still have that photo in my phone today. We we were white boarding it. I remember it in your being so generous listening to Iran about it but basically went to business school and really had no had no expectations other than just really interested in technology. And of course being the twenty first century. That'd be plenty of those opportunities. But i didn't know what it would look like in so as you can imagine like isn't school tends to skew a little younger. It's a bit more trendy kind of follows these trends and a trend does your tack and startups in you know software companies the facebooks cetera. The uber's everyone is kind of there in the lab thinking the next uber to invent right And we those two older grumpier professors that were like you know you guys are all supposed to be smarter. 'cause you're here in grad school but you guys are chasing the dumbest opportunity possible like what are the. What are the odds. Anyone of you you know will will will embiid. Any one of these unicorn had companies in a stop unicorn hunt you know he kind of like y'all did us for twenty minutes and then we're like what. What are we supposed to be doing. He's like do you realize that there's over one hundred thousand profitable businesses that throw off actual cash flows all around and you walk by him every day. You probably use their services or your parents user services or you. Frequent business that uses their services and You know they're owned by baby. Boomers are retiring at record pace. They've gotta find some way to transfer all this well in you know you guys. Aren't that smart. But your pride smart enough to run these things and you know instead of going and doing this in you know having a lower risk you know for economic success ask and getting to work on fun business problems and help people change their lives. You guys are like trying to invent magical things that don't exist yet and so it made me take a look and stop and say you know i. I guess i had this. You know a little bit of a career in the military before says a little older had family had kids can watch my parents age and wanting to be there. You know a economically for my family and thought i could be it wasn't is not a burden. Obscene is consideration and then You know kind of going back to the the probabilities that you talked about. And so anyway. I ended up spending over year studied under these guys. This kind of little known concept of looking at a very small business. That is functional. But you know for one reason. Add a or the other. The owner needs to sow and putting deal together to take over that business running it. We're probably twenty thirty forty years younger than the owner so he could probably modernize bit but for the most part. Just don't break it. Run a really good business blocking and tackling and you know living your life that way so it was it was really a shift. It was like a paradigm shift for me that. I'm still kind of unpacking.
Leading during COVID-19 with Ellen Kamei
"Ellen kamei. Welcome back to the majority podcast today. Thanks for having me back kevin. Of course you were one of my very favorite guests ever but you were here on our podcast back in march twenty eighteen which feels like roughly twenty years ago since then a lot has happened to you. A lot has happened in the world. I want to start with you first a sense that you ran for a seat in the city council of mountain view. Which where you were born where you're from you while your seat. And now you're the mayor of mountain view and just a quick plug for your city. My personal way of characterizing mountainview is the most important small city in the world. Because you have these incredibly monumental companies like google like other institutions intact headquartered there so everybody knows where mountain view is the world and i love to hear first of all about. What was your experience like. We're running in a local election. Really going through the grind and now transitioning to serving on a city government. Well thanks so much again. Kevin for having me back. I couldn't sell my city better than you just. Did you know the way i describe. A mountain view is being in the heart of silicon valley so much of the tech innovation about we discuss now actually was bursting in the city of mountain view Matthew mentioned yes. I iran in twenty eighteen in one actually wasn't my first time running for for office for city council mountain view. I run in twenty fourteen loss and really had to make the decision about you. Know did i want to pursue my passion for public service or or not and four years later decided to to run again Happy to share a In got to move from being on the planning commission to a member of the city council so the transition to city council. I mean there's no other to describe it in fast and furious in my first year. We were discussing the really large policy issues that our city our state i think our country are grappling with which are you know housing affordability of that housing in the generation of housing transportation rates. Getting people to shift their mode of a transit instead of being car. Ranted and gino at the same time. How are we providing the best quality of life possible for all our residents so within the first year we're tackling those going into my second year became vice mayor and two months later we had a global pandemic. And and now you know as mayor. I am trying to navigate our city our community our residents To the light at the end of the tunnel of the pandemic so it has been you know legislating on the toughest issues and dealing with something we only typically have to deal with like once century pandemic straight. There are a couple of things fall on the first thing. I want to drill in and a little bit. More is actually the experience of right so a lot of what we do here on the modern majority podcast is to reach out to asia. Americans are the minority communities to build allah ship. But you really transfer know how i think knowledge about. What is it like to be a public servant. If that's what you wanna do what is it like to run an office. You rent twice. You say you lost the first time you won the second time as in like you came. I believe the first out of like six seven other people right and i think the merger victor is also pretty significant. I remember that night and like checking the whole county original bula alad crush everybody. I was very happy about that. But how did that happen. You think now you have a couple of years removed to maybe reflect that experience. What did you do right. The second time that you didn't quite do the first time that led you to your victory while i would say it's two different things. One is a took those four years. But i also took that you know that year of running Invested in myself which is really trying to build. The skill sets necessary to to run again. So i signed up for work through the public speaking coach and i had taken you know. I did feature debate in high school and took public speaking in grad school but being able to speak Forums for sixty seconds or less than being able to adequate we express who you are the candidate. Your policy ideas in under a minute is really tough so i would say that. That was pretty instrumental in being able to formulate a good communication plan. And then the other is. I got some time off of work so i went from fulltime work. Two part time works. That could really get knocking on those doors because they knew that having that face to face interaction is still key to winning a local election so those are the kind of two things they did to invest in myself which is like make the the true commitment to to running giving everything i could and then the other was i would say really committing to the residents and and that is to say you know having his door to door conversations but also trying to meet people where they are which is really trying to be on every social media platform really trying to. You'll be out there in other languages as well as a multi-lingual Being able to have forums where people could ask questions. In their native language i think created inaccessibility. That hadn't been there before over. Thirty percent of our population in the city of mountain view identifies as asia and so that really competed opportunity for me to reach out to the asian american community to make sure that their voice was being heard and twenty teen. I think that there was a lot of policy issues. That were happening both nationally locally. Where the i could see that. Api community getting engaged. In a way that i hadn't seen before
"Get started with. I think this person or this story broke during the summer. it's kinda hard to tell now with the pandemic. what time is like but one other prominent ones that i remember seeing that wino- was flooding. Our timeline was the story of jessica. Craig aka or formerly known as jess la. Barletta cringe already awesome early known formerly known best. I'm about that. Let's get started. Let's talk about her. Yes so this woman has allegedly and apparently apparently been taking on different like black and afro sport identities throughout her life. She's an a professor or was a professor and academic where george washington university and university teaching. You know black studies are afrikaner studies and publishing books but at some point she were shifting from being in a north african to being african american and then being afro latin next sand after boaty gua was i think the final landing place for her her official forum her final warm so jessica. Krog just aka justifiable maleta hers combination of black fishing and being a fake tina at the same time and She got called out basically rightfully so rightfully so by a group of professors who are after latina's who had issues with her they were witness to or on the receiving end of like aggression from her and like prejudice and bad behavior while she was masquerading as after let nine different contexts. Apparently being super like belligerent towards black women in my on cool and really I think overcompensating and so trying to be an ex sorted extreme caricature of like this south bronx like her. Allegedly her mother was like a drug addicts prostitutes like this narrative that should created about herself so black women in the academy you know began talking about these different experiences and came forward and said This is not right. Yeah she was definitely performing like whoa kness being extreme radical like it was very performative. She was a published academic author and she also received a ton of accolades rice. She received she was a finalist. For the twenty twenty frederick douglass prize book prize presented by yale's gilder lehrman center the study of slavery resistance and abolition. She also was nominated or a finalist for the twenty thousand nine. Harriet tubman book prize and just received a ton of accolades has really been propelled or was propelled forward and questionably hired because of not solely for her identity. But because of the work she was doing and also the way. She positioned herself as offer latino or body gua and it's very cringe to think about all of the opportunities she stole from actual author. Latinas boras caribbean women. That are doing if not the same work or better work you know. And so it's that was probably one of the first ones that we saw. And then i think it kind of just opened up the floodgates for a lot of others than i don't know about you ma. But in my chicano studies department at uc santa barbara. There were a couple of fake denies that i will not name. They were not. They weren't anyone that i took like. I didn't take any classes with them but they were around. People talked about them. People knew like this person is very white claims this this cheek. Ghana mohican identity. You know is wide. Skin blue is performing she gun. You know some kind of ghana identity wearing that. I had because with the free that carlo ecstatic the whole thing right and it's like you like i they weren't. They were my peers. I was a student right. But i have friends that were graduate students. And they would tell me about these. Things happen. And in their cohort or in their in their seminars. And so you know. I think if if you've been in academia right. I haven't been to grad school. But i was an undergrad but i've i've definitely seen the fake tina's around so they definitely exists and i think this one opened the floodgates for a ton of
How a big, queer, black woman is redefining "yoga body"
"Noticed when i post pictures of my yoga practice that the responses i got from people. It wasn't really like that. Many people giving me feedback on my practice. It was mostly people being like. I don't know that people could do yoga. And i would just be like. Why do you think fat people can't do yoga. Fat people do all kinds of stuff all the time and like clearly we have a visibility problem so this is a really fascinating. Turn taking those comments. Which could either understandably caused someone to be like. Fuck you instagram. I'm piecing out But rather see it as an opportunity. And i'm curious why that was for you. Yes if it had just been people saying like wow. I didn't know if that person can do yoga. I like them. Bitch get is because everybody. Does everything concern about that. But on top of that was people being like. I didn't know fat people could do yoga. I'm fat person. Can i do yoga. And so my response to that is hell. Yeah you can do in fact you should and in fact it's not just fat people so that like there'd be so many different kinds of people who will reach out to me be like wow. I didn't know that someone who looks different than what society tells us. They should look like is allowed to do whatever they want. This is inspiring me to do whatever i want and that to me was a motivator to continue to engage with the community and the community. Was i sure. Engaging back justin's instagram accounts started growing photo by photo. She was posting videos of herself. Working through a sequence. He was offering her own advice for complicated poses. And you better believe. She brought her personality along for the ride. This was no like straight laced. Candle lit all white yoga session. No enya playing in the background. She was playing lauren hill in the background and she would encourage her followers to try yoga themselves if they were too nervous and eventually she started getting messages from people asking her to come teach them where they were. They'd be like can you come. Teach me in sweden. can you come to melbourne. Can you come to like venezuela. I'll know dude like literally everywhere. Jesmyn was flattered but she wasn't convinced that the world needed more yoga teachers. It wasn't until after her friends. And even her parents encouraged her to pursue teaching that she gave in and decide to get some training but there is still a problem because caroline becoming a yoga teacher or going through. Why t or yoga teacher training can cost between two and three thousand dollars as a grad school dropout working in a tapas restaurant like gentleman is not making that kind of dough but her parents actually stepped in and helped her which was a financial burden for them but very cool way to support her so she quit day jobs and enrolled going in jesmyn. Figured she'd get this credential hardest poses and that'd be that but about halfway through the through the training we were doing this partner. Yoga exercise and i was paired with someone who is much smaller than i am. She is like five feet tall. I don't know how much you weigh. When you're that you're that she's like that So and then. I'm so we're on opposite sides of the spectrum and as a fat body person i have spent my whole life paranoid about even touching somebody in a way. That could hurt them like. I'm afraid that if i sit too close to someone that i could hurt them like. There's this constant obsessive thought about the weight in needing to apologize for the wait and so the idea of being in this environment where i haven't have to physically put my entire body weight onto this. Very tiny person was horrifying to me. And so i spent like every time that i would even touch her. I would apologize every time. I'd be like oh i'm sorry. Oh i'm sorry. Oh i'm sorry. And after a while she stopped me for hand on my shoulders literally and looked in my eyes and was like you do know. You don't have to apologize for everything right. And i laughed because laughing is one of my defense mechanisms and i was like. Oh yeah sorry I guess i just was apologizing for existing and to hear me say it. She just caught her eyebrows. Me and like went back to the but i was shook i was like. Are you kidding me. i think i don't deserve to exist. i think i'm apologizing for existing. Is that how long have i been thinking that like have been thinking that since birth
The Legacy of Trauma: Can Experiences Leave A Biological Imprint?
"Okay so we are talking about epa genetic. Stay where do we start areola. Well we gotta go back to the basics genetics minus the abbey part so most of the time when we think of genetic changes. We think about dna mutations be squeezed changes in the actual sequence of dna. Yeah and it turns out. This isn't the whole story. Our dna is covered in small molecules. That tell her body had a use the dna. Brian dies gave me a great metaphor to describe all this. He teaches at the university of southern california school of medicine. So within you. And i is a book of life which is our dna and that dna needs to be read. And if our dna is a book of life than those small molecules i was talking about our punctuation marks and depending on what punctuation is where the book is going to be read very differently. Meaning those markers can amplify or down certain parts of our dna so when we talk about epigenetics were talking about how these molecules around our dna affect our dna is read exactly and we can see this really clearly in different parts of our body. How well every cell in our body has the same blueprint the same dna. But we know that not every cell in our body is the same we don't have. We don't have is growing in our fingertips. Speak for yourself over there so look even though ourselves all have the same dna. The dna is being used differently in different cells. And i'm guessing epigenetics has something to do. Yes our ib genetic markers vary in different parts of our body in the i for example. There's certain markers that say you become an i cell and suppress everything will make you a tooth. And here's the thing. Our environment and behaviors change our genetics. All the time not enough to make peace start growing out of your eyes. I promise but still changing. Yeah and i. I remember learning about this discovery in grad school and it being revolutionary like oh our environment can affect our genetics in real time without actually changing the sequence of our dna at all. Yeah and of course. It's more complicated than that. But this field is a really big deal. It's shown us that different environmental factors like diet and pollution can change our epi genetic markers and now people are trying to figure out if trauma and stress also cause genetic changes and if they do can. These changes be passed down like the dutch hunger study. We talked about earlier right. Yeah among others now look. We can't assume too much from these human studies. They have small sample. Sizes are tons of confounding variables. Right right i mean. Isn't it possible that these descendants are more likely to have these diseases due to social factors. Yes i asked bianca the same question she said. I sure that's a problem with human studies. it's really hard to separate the learned experience from the biological one. It is hard to say that a parent who has starred will now then treat food in the same way apparent who is not starved. And what we're interested in looking at is if we remove the parent from the situation and we just have the sperm cells and the exiles doll the work. Do we still see these changes and one way to start to figure that out is doing animal studies. Right so brian. The scientists who gave us that cool metaphor earlier did some of the first groundbreaking research on this. He basically introduced male mice to a particular smell. And when we exposed the meister smell we administer a very mild foot. Shaw that we i are selves at. We know it's not painful but mildly annoying to the mouse and as a consequence that particular smell becomes stressful to the parental generation.
Welcome to Shondaland
"Tonight. We're talking about shonda rhimes. Who is like she's a total boss. Queen television absolutely all right so first. We'll talk a little bit about shonda. So shonda rhimes was born in chicago. Illinois in january nineteen seventy. She was the youngest of six children. Her mother vero was a college professor and her father. Eilly was a university administrator. And she'd said that she exhibited an early affinity for storytelling early on in her life. She attended marin catholic high school and served as a hospital volunteer which inspired an interest in hospital environments. She majored in english. And film studies at dartmouth college and she graduated in nineteen ninety-one at dartmouth the black underground theatre association. She divided her time between directing and performing in student productions and also writing fiction and after college. She moved to san francisco and worked in advertising but she moved to los angeles a little bit after that to stubby screening at the university of southern california. She was ranked top of her class at usc. And she earned the gary rosenberg writing fellowship. She obtained a master of fine arts degree from the. Us's school of cinematic arts. And while at usc rimes was hired as an intern by debra martin chase who was prominent black producer she also worked at denzel washington's company monday entertainment so after she graduated rimes was actually an unemployed script writer in hollywood and to make ends meet. She worked various jobs including as an office administrator. And then a counselor at a job center during this period rhymes worked as a research director documentary. Hank aaron chasing the dream which won the nineteen ninety-five peabody award. One thousand nine hundred. Eighty eight rhymes made a short film called blossoms. Unveils which starred. Jada pinkett smith and jeffrey rate. This is actually only credit as a film director. So that's nineteen ninety eight short film blossoms unveils new line cinema purchased a feature. Script of hers It ended up not being produced at that time but she received an assignment shortly thereafter to co write the hbo movie introducing dorothy dandridge in nineteen ninety nine which earned numerous awards further star. Halle berry. get out. I didn't realize that she colorado so interesting. Oh wait till you hear the the plethora of things that she's worked on. Oh no after grad school rhymes sold her first screenplay called human seeking same about an older black woman looking for love in the personal ads. And that film wasn't produced. But you have heard of her next project in two thousand and one rhymes wrote the debut film of pop singer. Britney spears the starring zoe saldana and taryn. Manning crossroads everybody. I didn't know that she wrote that. Get out up saying. I feel like it's been really it was really panned by the next but maybe for them. Okay no sometimes. It's it's sometimes you just want a nice story about friendship road trimming going on a road trip and having a nice time and may be hitting up a karaoke joint. Heck yeah and singing. I love rock and roll. That's all i'm saying is that maybe it's for them. I think lauren has actually seen crossroads. I have felt you know. She wrote that and then the next thing that she worked on in two thousand four was the sequel to the princess. Diaries called the princess diaries. Two royal engagement. Get out. yeah. I didn't realize that she was so like a dummy. I just assumed like shonda rhimes right out. The gate was grey's anatomy but apparently she was introduced are obsolete reduce. So she's working on all these film things in two thousand three. She actually wrote her first tv pilot. Abc it was about young female war correspondents but the network. Turn it down. You know what they didn't turn down ask project. So here's where sean hillen comes in sean. Billion is the name of rhymes production company shine million and its logo also referred to the shows that she has produced an also to rimes herself. So when we say shaun d land. It's like interchangeably sean. And her production company. Yeah and like the. Because i do remember like i think it was. Abc or nbc. I forgot what what channel she's on but it was. They were like girl a sorry But it was like thursday nights. Is sean the land. Because it was like it was like back to back to back to back shadowland shows. We'll talk about that. You have a basically they. They tried to rebrand thursdays. Like tgi. T thank goodness thursday because that its native shot in the land. I mean people are gonna watch no matter what they didn't need to need hype it up so The name shawn lane was stylized as capital s shonda capital l. Land one word from two thousand five to two thousand sixteen but since two thousand sixteen is all stylize lower case everything is lower case. It's always very recognizable font so you might often see in print as actually all lower case letters.
Continuous Process Improvement
"It's been said to air is human but to really foul things up. You need a computer. Never automate a bad process. Oh in the oft-quoted garbage in garbage out. As it professionals we have always espoused people process then technology if we all know transformation or change starts with people and the processes. Why do we so often jump to the technology before fixing our process. Today's guest is tom west. Tom is the founder of green dot consulting group and the host of the podcast. The improvement nerds. Tom's mission is to change the world one process at a time. Welcome to the show. Tom oh thank you so much. What an awesome introduction with the quotes and the piles of. You know things that we sometimes step off on. you know. we know what we should do. Oftentimes but it's like once you get into a decision making role like the blinders. Come up you just think about goals and moving forward and oftentimes with that. You confuse activity with progress or productivity. So i cannot wait to have this episode. Kinda talk about how we help. People play this game in a little bit headset. moorehead's fashion well and kudos to you. One of the coolest podcasts names. It's probably the second coolest that i've heard the improvement nerds. I won't tell you which one i think is the coolest but the improvement nerves is pretty good so before we get into attacking the process problems takes on your journey. Tom how did you become the self proclaimed improvement nerd if you go and check me out on rink in which seems to be the only form of social media. I know how to use a lotta people ask. Why are you on twitter instagram. And the i'm there but don't expect to the impressed if you check me out there. But but on linked in you know i have a list that somewhat making fun of myself about all the acronyms after my name Having gone to school got my graduate degree and focused When i did my mba studies on finance. At the time. I was working in china services for fundraiser. And i thought i wanted to take my career in that direction and be someone who did fund development and how foundations grow and do amazing things. Through their efforts. I was doing at work. I started to look at my processes a little bit and notice that they had a little bit of opportunity for improvement within our picture. Your donor in the congregation. So it was a faith based organization to give a gift With the hopes of dna. Help someone else so very altruistic and then that donation goes through this process of being collected in. Were they practice their faith than being routed to my office then being accounted for then being cashed than being bashed and then routed to the field agents to finally do the good work that it was intended to do so there was a lotta process and and bottlenecks and a waste and the way every day that dollar was stuck in process it was consuming costs of the intended gift in the dollars actually given at the end very different and that just was unsettling the so. I started a focus on process and tried to wherever i could with a network. Make that work easier. More seamless more efficient and hopefully through that honored. I'd donors hours a little bit more morin. I had no idea what i was doing. Was a career track for project meanders or process improvement people. I just thought about what if i was that donor than what if i knew about all this waste that would upset me and I wanted to do something about it. So that was kind of where the initial seeds were planted. I eventually studied and got greenbelt. While at grad school that led me to do a couple of projects. And then i was nervous about most improvement people deal as inert nursing out about one of the projects had to work the In school with a friend on a training run for a marathon. And he's like you know. That's what i do. That's what i do for the hospitals here in. Did you know where also hiring and you know. I really looking but i was smart enough to say yes. I want to interview for that. That led to a nine year career in healthcare. Where i've actually studied got my pnp. I saw my black belt and then within two three years of that the organization wanted us to start to teach black belts internally and that led me to get my master blackball about what they issue the american society for quality in this severe following. All that that's a lot of credentials about why when after malls. Because i really wanted to be able to teach and coach and mentor other people. So that they can if these credentials for themselves because there's a lot of change that's needed and we need a lot of people to get the tools in order to lead those changes. So that's why i pushed myself to go for those higher levels and so that i can teach other people so they
Interview With Rachael Tatman PhD Linguist And Rasa Senior Developer Advocate
"Rachel tavern. Welcome to the voice about podcast. Thank you grabbing me. Well i'm very excited to have you on this. I feel like this is long overdue. So i've been running this podcast. It's two thousand seventeen not long after you. And i met at a conference off of union square san francisco. I cannot remember the name of the conference or the hotel. The park central hotel But you'd made a really interesting presentation there. I wish i still remember parts of it today. So that's four years later. So what about about four years. Bow for years. This this This week even maybe this month certainly And then we had a chance to catch up For a quick lunch and talk about some things. I found it very insightful. so lo and behold you wind up raza. You're sort of in the industry. It's just like a perfect timing but let me let me let you tell your story a little bit. So why don't we start there for the audience. Who might not be familiar with you. Why don't we start with. Why don't we start with your background a little bit. And i think probably the academic background is a start unless you want to start before that so i think it's a reasonable place to to start so i am a phd in linguistics for my for my crimes And i got into linguistics physically. Because i actually going back and reading like Application materials grad school while ago and They were specifically about how i wanted to help. People build language technology. That really worked for everybody in helped make the world. A better place idealist. I can. I had like a lot of ideas. About how hollywood technology would make the road better so which i still think i still hold another one. And at that point i was really into speech and speech perception production from a human standpoint. So how humans perceive speech how to humans understand things And i realized that. I was working on this sort of designed experiments with an eye towards informing automatic speech recognition systems that people who are working on an automatic speech recognition natural language processing automatic speech recognition. We're not going to conferences. And we're not really reading the papers. Don't resident to shift more and more and more into natural. Language processing into more computational approaches In my dissertation i had a big be role experimental component big valuation component. And then also. I built up machine. Learning model that tried to emulate some of the things that humans did and specifically these were all around The ways that you use social information in speech production sorry in speech perception understanding each the you here and as part of that debate evaluation of a bunch of sr systems and this was in two thousand sixteen so awhile ago Looking at the ways that they were able to handle linguistic variation like a regional dialects. Or on i looked at african english I looked at gender and how that affected performance and it turned out the performance was best. You know white people who spoke very standardized prestige dialect not so much people who had a variety of language associated war with regional identity in metric. Finish my phd. Starting my data science wasn't a field. Who could do the entity. It was so i went to haggle which is owned by google So we all may be familiar with it. it's a There's a competition component Where people compete to do supervised machine learning problems and whoever does best wins. And there's also a Posted coating environment that they have and data hosting and was working more on that sort of infrastructure side of things. And then i was talking about this. A little bitter You know it's a little bit by this startup. Bills open source framework for building conversational. Ai conversational assistance rosza. And that's where i am now so i am Moved back to more of the inoki space more humour language students of like dita science more generally. I'm that's been my path to hear
It's a Wonderful Life With Gigi
"All right. Today's interview is released. Special gee-gee langer has been sober for thirty. Four years used a twelve step program but what is so wonderful about. Her story is all of the other resources that she's used to do. Even deeper healing. We talk about energy work. Inner child healing topping Rural linguistic reprogramming. Meditation cranial sacred healing and outta jillian really incredible books to read all of which are linked in the show notes. This is proof that healing goes on forever and that your recovery won't look the same forever. Either she is the author of the book fifty ways to worry less now and is retired in florida with her husband. It was an absolute joy to get to know her. Here's digi langer hygiene. How are you. I am great. I'm so glad to be here. And yeah i'm so excited to be having recovery. Happy hour with you today. Thank you for taking the time to to share your story of recovery. I'm going to start this interview. The same way i start every interview and that is what is your name and your sobriety date and would you have described yourself as a high or low functioning drinker when you were drinking langer smy name and my sobriety date is february. Eleventh nineteen eighty six. And i was still a high functioning. I except in the area of romance in the area romance. I was extremely low functioning. I mean are we ever high functioning their love and logic those two things. Just don't mix well well. Why don't we just say that to other people. It looked like i was high functioning dairy cow. Mary go. I think i'll i think all of the above is super relatable before we get into your story. Tell me real quick just about what you're doing right now where you live. How old you are what you do for a living family hobbies anything like that. I'm retired. And i'm a little over seventy and i live in southwest florida. I grew up outside of chicago area and then travelled all over in my rambunctious years twenties and thirties. And most of my time. I've lived in michigan for the last several years just this summer. My husband and i moved down to florida. We have a little condo here. We have our kitty with us. And i don't have any children. Because i couldn't stay married long enough and snow grandchildren. So yeah life is good. I don't know what else you asked me. I think that hobbies. What do you like to do for fun right now. In south florida. Play a little golf You know. I have a blog and a lot of service work and a a nonprofit. I'm on that helps. Connect women in sobriety and i do a newsletter and i'm working on another a workbook for how to worry less and my husband and i play we. We just have a good time yeah. I'm very grateful that is fantastic. We'll let's get into your story and in five ten minutes or less. Tell us how long you drink. Tell us how long it was a problem and why you decided to stop you know. It really wasn't a problem for a long time in high school. I got drunk really drunk once and got deathly ill and had a blackout and everybody said how fun. I was a couple of times in college. I got drunk and did not stupid things. And and then i got married and started a teaching career and and he didn't really drink so i drank very little toward the end of that that it. It's kind of a long story about that marriage. But anyway i was very desperate at the end and i discovered marijuana so in my you know. Twenty three or so. I discovered that marijuana killed the emotional pain that i was going through. I really preferred marijuana. I could drink about six. Or seven beers. You know and i got through grad school by getting high and at night to ease the stress and it was really when i was around thirty four years. Old let's see. I had already been divorced twice. I was finishing my doctorate. I had gotten through that with the aid of drugs and alcohol just to calm anxiety and And i lived with two other guys long term. And so i met this guy who was different from all the other guys and i thought. Oh this is. The john and i moved to michigan and we got married very fast and within nine months of marrying him. I went to a bar picked up a stranger and he had marijuana and i started having this affair. You know with this guy. And and i went out to bars a couple of more times when my husband was traveling. My third house but my new you know went home with strangers. Finally i went running to a psychologist. I said what is wrong. With this problem. I have a brand new phd from stanford. And i have this private cd life and my professional life is looking better and better in my private life was worse and worse
It's A Wonderful Life With Gigi
"Hygiene. How are you. I am great. I'm so glad to be here. And yeah i'm so excited to be having recovery. Happy hour with you today. Thank you for taking the time to to share your story of recovery. I'm going to start this interview. The same way i start every interview and that is what is your name and your sobriety date and would you have described yourself as a high or low functioning drinker when you were drinking langer smy name and my sobriety date is february. Eleventh nineteen eighty six. And i was still a high functioning. I except in the area of romance in the area romance. I was extremely low functioning. I mean are we ever high functioning their love and logic those two things. Just don't mix well well. Why don't we just say that to other people. It looked like i was high functioning dairy cow. Mary go. I think i'll i think all of the above is super relatable before we get into your story. Tell me real quick just about what you're doing right now where you live. How old you are what you do for a living family hobbies anything like that. I'm retired. And i'm a little over seventy and i live in southwest florida. I grew up outside of chicago area and then travelled all over in my rambunctious years twenties and thirties. And most of my time. I've lived in michigan for the last several years just this summer. My husband and i moved down to florida. We have a little condo here. We have our kitty with us. And i don't have any children. Because i couldn't stay married long enough and snow grandchildren. So yeah life is good. I don't know what else you asked me. I think that hobbies. What do you like to do for fun right now. In south florida. Play a little golf You know. I have a blog and a lot of service work and a a nonprofit. I'm on that helps. Connect women in sobriety and i do a newsletter and i'm working on another a workbook for how to worry less and my husband and i play we. We just have a good time yeah. I'm very grateful that is fantastic. We'll let's get into your story and in five ten minutes or less. Tell us how long you drink. Tell us how long it was a problem and why you decided to stop you know. It really wasn't a problem for a long time in high school. I got drunk really drunk once and got deathly ill and had a blackout and everybody said how fun. I was a couple of times in college. I got drunk and did not stupid things. And and then i got married and started a teaching career and and he didn't really drink so i drank very little toward the end of that that it. It's kind of a long story about that marriage. But anyway i was very desperate at the end and i discovered marijuana so in my you know. Twenty three or so. I discovered that marijuana killed the emotional pain that i was going through. I really preferred marijuana. I could drink about six. Or seven beers. You know and i got through grad school by getting high and at night to ease the stress and it was really when i was around thirty four years. Old let's see. I had already been divorced twice. I was finishing my doctorate. I had gotten through that with the aid of drugs and alcohol just to calm anxiety and And i lived with two other guys long term. And so i met this guy who was different from all the other guys and i thought. Oh this is. The john and i moved to michigan and we got married very fast and within nine months of marrying him. I went to a bar picked up a stranger and he had marijuana and i started having this affair. You know with this guy. And and i went out to bars a couple of more times when my husband was traveling. My third house but my new you know went home with strangers. Finally i went running to a psychologist. I said what is wrong. With this problem. I have a brand new phd from stanford. And i have this private cd life and my professional life is looking better and better in my private life was worse and
"grad school" Discussed on The Dave Ramsey Show
"My name is Anthony O'Neill and joining me today is the future number national bestselling author down the Road Dr John Baloney. Who is killing the airways right now on Youtube and on podcast with the doctor John Dill only show and so he's talking about relationships. He's talking about mental health. He is the newest thing that is. Taking dot the feel of for his money and so if you WANNA talk to us about your life about your money about your relationships about anything around mental health, any questions you may have a give us a call at triple eight eight to five five to five triple eight, eight to five, five, two, two, five for the record anthony. Doctor. Phil's money's GonNa. Be Alright. His money safe with him as money is good but you are giving him a run for the money though because you know you you hopper, we're having fun. We are having fun you you. You're helping people you're different. You know what? I'm saying you little bit more spicy. About that. A little bit more real. You know what? I'm saying you're very, very different. Appreciate. That now are you welcome thank you. Yes we're tate we take video you after the show Yes sir I'll show you. Thank. One hundred dollars no chance because. Men Guate- California have a conversation with Karina I think that I said her name correctly Corinna Thank you so much for calling in how can deny Hi I'm a new listener and I'm babysit to go size just wanted to know if you in my position, would you pay for Undergrad own or should I pile up convert graduate school? I currently have a scholarship with graduate school but that all depends on funding like every year. Yeah, and it's it's particularly tenuous right now, what do you? What do you WanNa get a master's degree in? I'm currently going for social work social work. So you have an Undergrad master's degree in social work. no I have a bachelor's degree in psychology and then my masters in social work. Okay. Were you working right now? Right. Now, I'm working I'm working from home and it's for like a mental health departments I'm getting paid pretty well with that too and it's all online. Very cool. So you have a scholarship and between the scholarship and your cash saved up, you could go get a graduate degree cash with with cash debt-free. yeah. Well, right now, I got a scholarship twenty thousand dollars for Grad School and then I get one basically every year but that depends on funding and then well like funding. So I got one for this year. So I got twenty thousand dollars for this year. And so they won't guarantee funding for next year. No they won't guarantee funding for next year and a Master's in social work going for a like to be a licensed clinician or just to get a masters msw. What are you trying to do? Right, now it's just the masters and then after John I'm trying to find a licensed. Clinical social worker. What's your undergraduate debt look like? It's only sixteen thousand. Okay. Well I mean, we hear a lot worse That's that's that's a low number for some of the things that we hear near. I'm torn on this I'd love to get Anthony's inside here's Anthony and and green. Here's where my head's at I understand in the mental health profession to move up, you've got to graduate degree. A degree in social work is an outstanding graduate program degree. If you can cash flow that that's a, it's the the possibilities of helping other people whether it's clinical and you get licensed or you can work in a hospital you're going to work in A. Retirement in the possibilities are endless there. That's a great degree to have particularly if you get licensed. So I love the idea you can cash flow yourself through that I don't like that they offered you a massive intro scholarship and they said, we don't know what next year is going to look like. That feels Bayton switch to me I don't like them put you out there because what they're really doing is getting you in the front door. You'RE GONNA put ten thousand of your own bucks in, and then you're going to be on the hook for the next two years and I don't want to circle back and say, Hey, we had to cut this by fifteen thousand bucks and what was going to be a cashflow program you're out out the door now I don't like that about that program particularly as schools are rolling back their school funded scholarship dollars due to lost revenue in in cove and so. That's a real thing. The other side of it is pay your undergraduate off in sixteen sixteen grand. That's just not a lot that's a year. You can suck it up and do that, and then you're circling back around that's that's my thoughts, Anthony. What do you think? So Korean data deem Y'all can help me answer this question Do you need the master's degree. I do I WANNA be a licensed clinical social move up in mental health profession. You gotta get that graduate degree singer okay here's next question. How much money are you making right now a year. I just started working and I get paid twenty, two, fifty an hour. So what does that yearly for you? it full time. So I think. Honestly, I don't know. So twenty, two, fifty, an hour versus a licensed social worker. In California one, hundred, fifty, an, our hundred, thousand thousand no one hundred, fifty dollars an.
"grad school" Discussed on My Gothic Dissertation
"<Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Speech_Music_Female> Mike <Speech_Music_Female> Dissertation <Speech_Music_Female> was written reported <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> and produced <Speech_Music_Female> by me Anna <Speech_Music_Female> Williams. <Speech_Music_Female> To <Speech_Music_Female> hear episodes, <Speech_Music_Female> read transcripts and <Speech_Music_Female> see footnotes <Speech_Female> head over to my GOTHIC <Speech_Music_Female> DISSERTATION DOT COM, <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> you can subscribe <Speech_Music_Female> to my Gothic dissertation <Speech_Music_Female> wherever <Speech_Music_Female> you get your podcasts <Speech_Music_Female> including <Speech_Music_Female> Lyceum, <Speech_Music_Female> an new <Speech_Music_Female> platform that brings <Speech_Music_Female> together the most inspiring <Speech_Music_Female> ideas, <Speech_Music_Female> discussions and <Speech_Music_Female> people in the world's <Speech_Music_Female> first audio learning <Speech_Music_Female> community. <Speech_Music_Female> LYCEUM <Speech_Music_Female> offers a unique <Speech_Music_Female> online forum <Speech_Music_Female> so if you'd like to <Speech_Music_Female> engage directly <Speech_Music_Female> with me about what you've heard, <Speech_Music_Female> download <Speech_Music_Female> the LYCEUM APP <Speech_Music_Female> search for <Speech_Music_Female> my Gothic dissertation <Speech_Music_Female> and leave <Speech_Music_Female> me a comment in the discussion <Speech_Music_Female> room <Speech_Music_Female> <Speech_Female> the theme Song For <Speech_Music_Female> my Gothic Dissertation <Speech_Music_Female> is stop <Speech_Music_Female> running written <Speech_Music_Female> and performed <Speech_Music_Female> by Adam Ben Ezra. <Speech_Music_Female> A <Speech_Music_Female> big thanks to him <Speech_Music_Female> for allowing me to use <Speech_Music_Female> it. <Speech_Music_Female> The website <Speech_Music_Female> and Logo for my <Speech_Music_Female> Gothic dissertation <Speech_Music_Female> designed by Brett <Speech_Music_Female> Forsyth of <Speech_Music_Female> yellowhammer creative. <Speech_Music_Female> Consultants <Speech_Female> were Ginger Marshall <Speech_Music_Female> Michael Garoppolo <Speech_Music_Female> and of course <Speech_Music_Female> my dissertation committee <Speech_Music_Female> who lifted <Speech_Music_Female> the gate and allowed <Speech_Music_Female> me to do this project <Speech_Music_Female> in the first place. <Speech_Music_Female> Thanks <Speech_Music_Female> to everyone who let <Speech_Music_Female> me interview them, <Speech_Music_Female> they are. Sherry Toughen <Speech_Music_Female> Kevin Birmingham <Speech_Music_Female> deirdre <Speech_Music_Female> Egan Virginia. <Speech_Music_Female> CRISCO <Speech_Music_Female> Meredith Elsie <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> Isabel Scotney <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> Elon <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> Lou <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> Elizabeth. <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> Judith Pasco <Speech_Music_Female> Susan <Speech_Music_Female> Dingy David <Speech_Music_Female> Lar- <Speech_Music_Female> Palmisano <Speech_Music_Female> Timothy Burke <Speech_Music_Female> Joe Livingston <Speech_Music_Female> Kristen <Speech_Music_Female> Nap Janelle <Speech_Music_Female> Schwartz that <Speech_Music_Female> Barton <Speech_Music_Female> Rene. Do <Speech_Music_Female> Amy Polyps <Speech_Music_Female> Kathy Meguro? <Speech_Music_Female> <Speech_Music_Female> And Sand <Speech_Music_Female> Jenny Ben, Wa <Speech_Music_Female> and my <Speech_Music_Female> peers Laura Lydia <Speech_Music_Female> Angela Lulu <Speech_Music_Female> Caitlin Jamie <Speech_Music_Female> Kathleen <Speech_Music_Female> Pedro Philip. Maheen <Speech_Female> Jen <Speech_Music_Female> Jillian and Marie <Speech_Music_Female> Margaret Tori. <Speech_Music_Female> Mattie Ian <Speech_Music_Female> Brady Rachel and Carl. <Speech_Music_Female> <Speech_Music_Female> Finally <Speech_Music_Female> I'd like to give a shoutout <Speech_Music_Female> to the Iowa public <Speech_Music_Female> radio talk show team <Speech_Music_Female> who were my engaged <Speech_Music_Female> radio pedagogues <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> back in two, <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> thousand, sixteen and <Speech_Music_Female> Seventeen. <Speech_Music_Female> Their Catherine Perkins <Speech_Music_Female> Charity Nebi, <Speech_Music_Female> then <Speech_Music_Female> Keefer Lindsey. <Speech_Music_Female> Moon Emily <Speech_Music_Female> Woodbury <Speech_Music_Female> Clare Roth <Speech_Music_Female> and Dennis Reece. <Speech_Music_Female> <Speech_Music_Female> Thanks for listening <Speech_Music_Female> and <SpeakerChange> be sure to tune <Music>
"grad school" Discussed on My Gothic Dissertation
"As we near the end of this first volume of the Grad School Gothic. The truth of the heroine situation has begun to dawn on her. Despite her isolation, she's found a way to attain this knowledge by making allies of sympathetic, serving or two. or in the modern world, a growing body of her Grad school comrades emboldened to speak out on social media by movements like me to. Through her narrow window, she can see the castle ramparts tumbling down slowly stone by stone. And yet the fortress still stands seemingly held together by the sheer will of its towering overlord. Or maybe it's held together by what in the schoolhouse Gothic Sherry Trough in refers to as episode violence. There's a kind of violence in the way that we know or the way that we choose to know. Or the way that we more generally defined to define is to create boundaries around what something is and what it isn't to know. Something is true is to deny the truth of something else. Thus, says Trevon our entire way of knowing. The foundation of Western epistemology, upon which the Grad School Gothic is built. Is itself violent, because if we define scholarship as knowledge creation, as it's typically understood, but you also think of teaching as the construction of the educated student. Or the process of creating the educated mind. It's also sort of doing violence to that mind by how we define and circumscribe and limit creating and disseminating knowledge involves privileging certain ideas or experiences and denying others. When we decide what counts as knowledge? We tell certain people that we believe them and certain others that we don't. This argument about the insidious relationship between knowledge and power is derived from the work of highly influential philosopher and theorist. Michelle SUCO. Normally, we think that knowledge gives one power Co., said no, no, no, no well. He I mean he didn't say that was true, but he said. Power gives you knowledge because power is knowledge. He's really innocent. Saying that the teacher invents a student. The teacher defines the student and invents the student and creates the student. And and so you can see that in and of itself, perhaps as a kind of violent in this way, truffles, notion of violence is similar to what higher Ed Advocate Beth God be has referred to as episode injustice. Or denying someone their fundamental right to experiential knowledge. Rather than recognizing that their students already possessed valid and valuable knowledge that they do not. Much of which is gleaned from their unique life, experiences episodically, violent or unjust, teachers decide that they in their academic equals are the only ones who have the right to think. They know anything. In some cases, maybe it's yet another vestige of the academic star system that refuses to lay down and be buried. In others though it's purely accidental, you know being a college professor. Is You know about becoming certified as an expert in your field? It's not you know you don't really learn how to teach. Researchers of the doctoral training process have concluded the same thing that often the so-called violence occurs out of pedagogical ignorance. The product of PhD advisers themselves being trained to be scholars not teachers. As Bell Hook says academics are often the opposite of engaged pedagogues. During my twenty years of teaching, I have witnessed a grave sense of disease among professors irrespective of their politics, when students want us to see them as whole human beings with complex lives and experiences, rather than simply as seekers after compartmentalized bits of knowledge, even though they almost always mean well, PhD advisors often don't recognize how much power they have over. There advises self esteem and future careers. And, thus how much their roles as teachers and mentors matter. But as Leonard, Cassuto says. We've we've got to do things differently because we're wrecking people's lives? And does it's just unacceptable..
"grad school" Discussed on My Gothic Dissertation
"And for good reason..
"grad school" Discussed on My Gothic Dissertation
"A highly competitive system in which a single person has the power to make or break someone else's career. Whether it's the crowded greasy pole of Hollywood or flooded pipeline. You will have abuse. Sure enough according to Reitman's account. Ronel had all, but promised him. She would get him an academic job when he finished his PhD so when? He did not have the option to withdraw affections because he essentially in the simplest fit which would be feeling upset and perhaps making his life? Of them. To marry the job of their Grad school dreams in other words. The heroin needs to find a way to give her gothic villain what he wants. At this point in Grad school gothic novel, some readers will be rolling their eyes. Hyperbole at its finest, they may be saying. The Renault cases one extreme isolated example of abuse that cannot and should not be generalized to describe any kind of universal experience of Grad School. Maybe so? Maybe, it's true that the majority of graduate students have an experienced sexual abuse at the hands of their advisors. But maybe where there's smoke, there's fire. Maybe as Cory Robbins said in an article for the chronicle of Higher Ed. The RENNELL Reitman. Scandal tells us more about quote. HOW INTENSE! How abusive the pervasive imbalance of power and academe really is than it does about sexual harassment. As? He says that imbalance of power is quote. One that many graduate students have had to negotiate. And should not have to negotiate. Or maybe that response of the eye rollers is itself part of what makes Grad. School, feel so gothic. The ease with which the experiences and identification of the persecuted heroine are disregarded and trivialized. When she says to authorities, figures I see that kind of thing happening on a smaller scale around me to. And Authority figures teller. She's overreacting or just plain wrong. It feels like the signature power move of the GOTHIC. Maybe that's why so many of the ivory towers most powerless are beginning to assert their right to say me too in the astounding if under. Metoo, movement, and academia. Maybe once rolling their eyes should consider what or who it is, they're trying to protect. Now back to our imperilled heroin. As if the villain wasn't enough to deal with, there's off another even greater threat haunting her in every corner of the castle. Literally? Is always been to do with ghosts phantoms. which comes back that which cannot be laid to rest? As, David Punter points out here. There's another defining feature of the trials and tribulations that gothic heroine undergo. And that's the relation between the present and the past. The notion of inheritance has always been interesting in Gothic because always the possibility of a very troubled inheritance. One term that is often used to think about these things facing is the old biblical notion of the the sins of the fathers, the way in which things which your forefathers may have dumb. And about which you may never about or not know about maybe the visited upon new. So that you'll quest in the gothic novel is sometimes to find out what is it? That's been done in the past, which means that I? have to suffer like this independent. Another reason the abuse between Nelin. Reitman is so indicative of the Broader Power Dynamics of doctoral advising. Is it does deal with powerful past that haunts us in the present. What we've inherited in the modern academic humanities according to Timothy Burke. Is something he calls? The Academic Star System the academic star, system. As nineteen nineties humanities. Created a group of people who believed they were better than everyone else. A group of people who are invested in believing the stars better than everyone else. This is done lasting damage to the humanities. Burke is a professor of history at swarthmore and after the Renault, reitman scandal broke. He went on a bit of a tear about it on twitter. Part of which you just heard. Back when humanities departments were more flush with university cash, he says they could, and did actively court fashionable intellectuals to join their ranks in particular people who are responsible for importing the radical and provocative European theory that would change the way scholars thought read and studied texts in the American humanities. Stars were recruited such prestigious positions. Burke says they were given a lot of leeway. and. They're becoming kind of almost cultish Lee successful figures within on a sad of academic disciplines in African system. Because in a way they have those connections. They're bringing something new to get more money. You get autonomy on a on a scale that other people don't get. you get freedom from some forms of responsibility on the name of the thought that you were thinking deep thoughts that no one else is thinking. And you have worked to do that. You need to be free to do. And at the same time, a kind of heedlessness about. the little people think. So how is this power of the past making us suffer in the present? For one thing, many of the stars from the eighties and nineties do still exist and are academic universe, despite the general downturn in the humanities influence judging by her CV, Renault would certainly seem to fit the bill. And because graduate students are well aware of this powerful constellation of stars. They're afraid to speak out when duiker. Here's Joe again so I could hud. Expanding nothing ever seems like a room when you hear it. But I had had people talking out Avatar in my time. And what you? Until Yeah I had had that she was this like. Pasta with very intense emotional relationships that has students. Asta Law. Although the nyu sexual harassment case didn't become public knowledge until August of two thousand eighteen. Reynolds abuses of power were already an open secret among Grad students. Whenever. Joe would express any kind of disappointment to her friends and colleagues about her own advisor. She says and people saying like, but you could have someone who was. Way into your life like I. So, that's how I heard about it kind of organically, although Grad students it why you knew in other words, nobody wanted to speak out against such a renowned..
"grad school" Discussed on My Gothic Dissertation
"As Gary Kelly describes it in his study of the female Gothic the heroin will now be subjected to quote. Minister, by unknown forces, the mackin, nations of individuals with obscure inscrutable motives and or persecution by mysterious institutions or secret organizations. A far cry from the engaged pedagogy she's grown used to. This new monolithic. Holds the heroine hostage in his labyrinth like house to use her in some secret self-serving plot. Marrying her off to a detestable count or robbing her inheritance would be dowry for his own personal gain. He keeps her isolated through neglect, surveilling her constantly with a network of spies to ensure. She remains ignorant about his plans for her. If she does get too close to the truth, he'll throw her off the path with elaborate mind games that make her doubt. Her perceptions in her sanity. While readers can clearly see that, she's endanger. The heroine herself only since his it. And in the ensuing volumes will clutch are pearls as we witnessed her undergo trial after trial. An exhausting series of close calls from which you'll barely escape. In Grad School Gothic. Things aren't quite as blatantly diabolical. But the heroin does find herself in a daunting new educational environment that Leonard Cassuto of the book the Graduate School Mess Calls Quote Careless and short-sighted teacher, centered and neglectful. And I'm not the only person to note the similarity between these pedagogical unsound settings and the Gothic. Sherry Deafen associate professor of English at Campbell University identifies this trend in twentieth century, American Gothic novels in her two thousand eight book, the Schoolhouse Gothic even though we like to think of American schools as meritocracy that and vehicles for social advancement. Quite, likely to function in ways that re replicate existing power hierarchies rather than challenge them and you know I. This is why she wrote. The book says Truckin. To understand why teachers were cropping up as Gothic villains and all of these twentieth century American Novels Fair Not. Count Dracula and there is a monk and they're not. And yet I started to realize that there's a kinship there. There's the appearance of benevolence. And Assumption of benevolence that actually can serve as cover for something a lot darker. Locked away in dark damp office in the dungeon of some campus building. The Grad School. GOTHIC heroine will be subjected not to forced marriage, but to dark menaces and other forms including the exploitation of Labor mentioned earlier by Sydney Smith and forcefully condemned by Kevin. Birmingham If you. tenured. Or Tenure Track Faculty member in a she envies department. With. P. H. E. Candidates you are both the instrument and the direct beneficiary of exploitation. Girls as teacher. Adviser and committee member generate cultivate and export young people's. Devotion, to literature. This is the Great Shane. As I'll discuss more leader chapter. Birmingham statement comes from a bold and provocative speech. He gave right here on my own campus. But, for now I just want to point out that his comments gesture toward what many researchers have doctoral training have found to be the greatest menace of all graduate students whether they mean to be are not. The PhD adviser. I. Don't know how you feel about your advisors, but they. Really become like. These giants in your head. US like Avocados of your being. In the Grad School, Gothic the PhD advisor, or the Graduate Faculty member more generally. Holds enormous power over the graduate student. And if they're not careful, they can end up looking a lot like the diabolical villain of your. In their roles as teachers, mentors and writers of the all important letters of recommendation for jobs. Doctoral advisors truly do seem as Josephine Livingston, says here. Like arbiters of your being. Livingston, who goes by Joe? Earned her PhD in English from Nyu and now works as a staff writer for the New Republic. So in a story broke about an nyu graduate student. Nimrod reitman being abused by his PhD advisor the noted feminist scholar and professor of German and comparative. Lit Avatar now. Joe was well positioned to write an article about it. The case represents the very worst of what can happen when PhD advisors abused their power. A real life Grad school gothic tale. She was a kind of intimacy land with which he was not comfortable and she didn't realize things. Right so this the extended to Staying the night together, demanding attentions, making him onto phone calls You know it was at a party and onto defying and couldn't answer chronicle. She would get angry right inches. She claimed he had very strong clear. Rennell imposed herself in every aspect of her advises life out of a supposed need to serve her emotional health. She stalked him cornered and isolated him playing mind games by telling him. He was quote in denial when he resisted her advances, and that her therapist agreed he should go along with their intimate relationship. Hearing this one might wonder why. Reitman didn't just report his adviser on the spot for such an appropriate behavior. One reason as Sherry trofim points out because academe via is a place of power you know, and that makes it create. That creates conditions reviews because Howard is knowledge, power is the the power to create knowledge and be believed in academia. Power is the power to create knowledge and be believed. Rennell held more of that power than Reitman. He was in her castle her institution where she was protected. And as in the Gothic, the structure of that castle supports the abuse. Just on a pragmatic level. If, you're graduate advisers abusing you. You simply don't have much recourse. There's no HR department overseeing these working relationships. Only other faculty members who often have a vested interest in maintaining collegial relationships with their permanent peers over transient graduate students. Another reason right didn't come. Forward lies in the outsized role that PhD Advisors Play and the Pinnacle of their advisors educational journeys. Securing A job. As former PhD turned writing consulted K. Amion puts it in a chronicle of Higher Ed article that went viral back in two thousand seventeen, just after the news about Harvey Weinstein broke. Anytime, you have.
"grad school" Discussed on My Gothic Dissertation
"Our special thing together..
"grad school" Discussed on My Gothic Dissertation
"In, Normal Gothic dissertation, this is where I would make some astute observation about their generous social commentary, and then state my intervention. Something like for decades now scholars have studied the Gothic in its original context, the late eighteenth and early nineteenth century. But I argue that the genre is a useful tool for illuminating problematic power moves made by outmoded institutions in any context. I would then define the scope of my dissertation by stating that I plan to examine one modern institution particular that many consider to be losing cultural power. The academic humanities. I then Linda Authority to that claim by bringing in the voices of noted commentators like former President Sidney Smith. In these times, everything seems to be lined up against humanities. Our enrollments are shrinking. Our majors are funding is decreasing as a result of corporate is assessment in value setting our motive. Scholarly communication is in unsettling transition. Are Fields are becoming feminist with a large proportion of contingent faculty. The humanity threatens to become as last year's MLA President Russell Berman noted a service provider within the academy. If this was a normal gothic dissertation, I might bring in the work of. Or historians here to trace the roots of the modern American, Academy, back, to the European Medieval University. An institution with strong ties to both the Catholic Church and Feudal Aristocracy I might suggest that considering these historical ties, it seems only natural that academia could be third target of the gothics criticism. If this was a normal dissertation. Thus laid out the beginnings of my critical framework and the average reader might be lost or bored by now. But. This isn't a normal Gothic dissertation. My gothic dissertation is more like a Gothic novel. A multi volume one that tells the story of protagonists struggling against traditional forces, cleaning desperately to life in the modern world, threatening as Gothic scholar Chris Baltic tells us. To fix their dead hands upon us. As in the tradition of the buildings, remind the protagonist in the gothic novel are on an Educational Journey and the traditional forces they work against are outdated modes of doctoral training like the dissertation itself. Only unlike a novel, which fiction. This story takes place in real life crusade about three miles to US sixty one. In the novels of Ann Radcliffe and her imitators, a tradition known since the nineteen seventies the female gothic. The heroine starts her life in some idyllic provincial place that's far removed from the hustle and bustle of big city life. Yeah, we're about to go. We're on. The outskirts of national were about to go downtown? Or some of the older stuff is for four year. Old Me Natch is was that place? Propped on the bluffs of the Mississippi River two hours from Jackson and three from New Orleans. It's right out of the pages of its own kind of gothic novel. The Southern Gothic But that's a story for another time. In her country idol, the gothic heroine is typically raised by doting caregivers who nurture her gifts and cherish her talents. My caregivers mingas are the reason for this trip, which I took about a month after my prospectus defense with my parents, sister and two nephews who you just heard. My nephews still seem a little bit confused by this. Are the main keys Ameinias were our old neighbors when I was growing up, and we were very very close with them, and we're going to see them and made them tomorrow. They're very special to. They're real family, but they're like family. Until we moved from Nashes to Birmingham when I was for my family lives in a tiny house on roselawn drive next to Bob and Barbara Ann mingay and their three young adult daughters esther, Suzanne and Peggy Ann. The middle daughter Susie was the nurture of my young talents, my doting caregiver. She was fresh out of college, a brand new first grade teacher, but I didn't know that at the time. To me, she was just a kind person who I always wanted to be around. All these years later. When I visit her notches, she still that way. Well! I don't know if you remember. Anna, and it really wasn't put on the door for you. It was more for Kadian. You inherited it, but my daddy when you would come knocking on the back door daylight on Saturday mornings. To come in the on you ready I. Mean you've got that, but no, it was hilarious i. mean you know that that's why y'all are family to us, but BOB ended up putting. A spoil from a wooden spill from bipeds thread and he attached to the lower part of the screen door because when you were coming, the handle was. Half for you to reach and so many Saturday Morni- we would be. You would come over early and we'd still be in bed. Are Rating and you would want your own book and it didn't matter that it was a picture book. Be Any book that you wanted. And you pick up your own Harlequin romance and just lie right there on rages like a grownup ordering. I should say that back in those days. I couldn't actually read the Harlequin. Romances I was just pretending to read them with no idea what kind of swashbuckling was going down on those pages. But later when I would come back for week long summer visits. Suzy got me reading for real and she also got me writing. When. We were together. You and I in the summer, and you needed something today. It was like okay. Let's read this book now. Draw pictures to go with it, and then as you aged you. went through those different levels of development with your writing, and I think that's when. You and I started writing stories. Of course you weren't riding on. You were telling them and you? You came up with all kinds of stories as you have been reminded and this visit together you would even pick up Kentucky Fried Chicken coupons and make up stories about the coupons, so you always have had the imagination. You just needed some help. Right at first writing down your thoughts, and and then you would ill stripe those one of those stories cinnamon alone one became the basis for my personal statement, one of the documents I submitted when applying for Grad School in English. I referred to cinnamon alone. One to demonstrate to admissions committees, my lifelong devotion to reading and writing. And it worked. Among other things it got me accepted to my master's program. And later, it got me here to the PhD. I'd venture to say that nearly everyone else in Grad school has a suzy to. There's nothing better for a child than for somebody to take time with them and enter nurture something that that they're good at and. and make them feel good about themselves and you know, and these days and times especially Not, too, many children get a lot of one on one time with one adult who they love and he loves them and so. That's that's.
"grad school" Discussed on My Gothic Dissertation
"If this was a normal dissertation on Gothic fiction. I'd start with a witty compelling hook to draw you in. Probably, some bold or surprising statement about the Gothic or person associated with it. The Hook would lead to interesting anecdote I don't covered in my research something about the Quirky, antiquarian ISM, of course, Walpole, maybe or how an radcliffe was thought by all. Victorian England to be a reclusive madwoman. You'd be charmed by this knowledge, the vivid image in your brain that illustrated historical time and place I wanted to transport you to. But then. Once, I had you. My voice would suddenly become less conversational more authoritative. And you find yourself buried alive in a formidable scholarly paragraph. It would almost includes some statement about the origins of the Gothic like this one from David putter. The origins of Gothic. Very difficult to pin down. It just conventionally said the Gothic really begins. Fiction Moody begins with this will pose accustomed to in the seventeen sixty S, and that was indeed the first of the GOTHIC novels. They've actually succeeded by the famous classic novels by and that cliff. Published in the seventeen hundred and Seventeen Ninety S. So that is the heyday of gothic fiction but. All the subjects vision. Who continually seemed to have an often life to refuse to lie down and be bedded, then gothic fiction keeps coming up again throughout the nineteenth century. Here's where I would tell you that since the publication of his book, the literature of Terror in nineteen eighty. Punters been widely credited with exhuming the Gothic from the critical crypt where literary giants like William, Wordsworth wished it would lie down and be buried. I would say that critics have historically maligns the GOTHIC for being too over the top, too provocative of base emotions to black and white and its portrayals of good versus evil. And those things by the way indicate the presence of footnotes, citations are extra commentary that can be found by the more scholarly inclined on the podcast website. In a normal introduction to a normal Gothic dissertation hero position myself among the more generous critics such as punter. And say there's actually some pretty nuance social commentary going on in this body of literature. And that the novel's typical settings for boating medieval castles or spooky monasteries speak volumes about the targets of their criticism. Commercials, being a visit you of a futile on. Post and ministries or In some way. Catholic religion and some kind of opposition to see in British culture was the comparative casualty of the politicians religion at a social level. They mean the persistence of the past which we'd wished out does off from the duty to be long since dead, but that postal seems to go on. Once held rigidly in place by the unquestioning obedience of the lower orders. These societal institutions and their corresponding edifices are symbolically falling apart and gothic texts as new more democratic ideas threatened to topple their authority. When the heroin becomes trapped in one of these crumbling castles confidence. We. See the worst of that institution. It's corruption. It's desperate attempts to cling to power at any cost made evident in the psychological terrors. She's subjected to trapped inside. Because what they turn out to leak. Once, you insulted. Is. Impossible to find one's way around. There is always docked. There was always the threat of falling through shop. Door will find yourself in a lower level. These are. Owens unlike the conventional house. In which the new real maps, you can never tell exactly how to get out so these also no use of imprisonment. In other words, the place in which the heroine finds herself trapped also looks very much like an external ization of her own mind under the influence of the institutions manipulation confused. Perilous and darkened with self-doubt..
"grad school" Discussed on Modern Figures Podcast
"I have all of the folks on research but then on the other side you bring your users and they can't see you. It was like one of those like one way window. Yeah and so it was awesome and so I switched to be on a research team and so I was like recruiting participants and you know Who helping do data for for those. Those lovely interviews. We used to do all the stuff you doing a PhD. Oh Yeah Yep. I must've so anyway moving on moving right along the PhD dream. I had no kidding So yeah so that's what I did Towards the mark. That was my last role that I had the company And it was interesting. I mean I made a lot of friends are had a lot of Several chats with different Black folks at at Apple and I was part of what was in African American Employees Association. Apparently now it's called something else like black set up. I think to just kind of like being involved. I had relationships with executives. Because I'm just you know that person there's your email them like hey What the secret. You're the secret though. If you're a corporate company you want to get on their calendars email. They're sending email directly to the person and they never thought Adleman boom boom. So that's what I did. I did that as an intern So my last day I had a meeting with the head of HR KNOWS. Like let me tell you stuff that's happening Because overall mine my experience apple was great but there was a some little things that I was just kind of like. You know I just don't think Training like unconscious bias diversity. Training is trickled down enough to like middle managers and things of that sort. So I struggle with that And just trying to advocate while I was doing the advocacy work to getting more students of color in Tech. And just kind of like. What do you mean around you and just kind of you know push through push through? That wasn't the isolation itself it was just like certain things accumulating time that. Yeah I've told you you know the work that I do. External Company is more significant to me ultimately will be more significant to our society. Yes exactly ooh. That's why I'm no longer at Apple full-time doing intake camp for girls. We should mention in tech camp for girls. Something started while you were in school. Yes in Grad School. So NC wit again shuttled to them They have the spire. It grant. And so I wrote wrote the grant along stars competing core Charlotte and we offer event. August two thousand fourteen And literally like a never intended to start my own organization that was Michael And I had never really thought of a vision beyond that day right just like everything we got into this day in a not even our after the event I get an email from a parent. Like you've changed my life in eight hours we're cooking you dinner and I was like okay. Girl and the crazy thing is like that that parent ended up becoming a mentor to me and her daughter is still involved in. I'm a mentor. And actually stay with him one of my semesters and grasp also yeah But yeah so the magic is what I call in the energy from the parents to students and the volunteers from that day told me like we have to keep doing this. And so that's how index is still alive today. Yeah so tell us more about what INTECH DOES. And maybe even like why. This logo was chosen. Oh that's a good question So I'll talk about the logo really quickly So it is like a little light bulb with A. I don't know the little symbol on the inside that means women One of my friends from NC state created it and he literally created like all of the design specs. Send it to me and I was like yes it was. I was like that's it right there. it did take me a while to come up with in Texas a month but then like our three pillars are inspire. Inform inspire innovate. And so you have that in in getting girls in tech. Yeah so as we bring working side okay. But our mission for tickets to increase Excuse me FBI. Here's freezing. I.
"grad school" Discussed on Phil's Philosophies
"But I feel like that's something that I would if I were a girl and I am more hair than the little will awesome something here at something. I'd feel like I wanNA control. Yeah that's kind of what we do so I kind of want to check way right back. This is a little random I don't want to go back to your speech pathology. Yes so I wanna see what you can teach me okay. I have a hard time with saying my else. So the the word H. L. D. I have a hard time saying okay hold but it doesn't sound like whole to some people. Yeah sounds like I don't know how to describe but I can't say it okay. Would you got so speech. Pathology was such a long time ago session a special longtime ago but a lot of chosen have difficult times with their else and if it wasn't corrected when you were a child it's much more difficult to correct it when you're adult. There is no who for me there. There could potentially be hope for you. It just would require a whole lot of time and effort for you as an adult because your brain isn't as plastic as a kid in your brain. It's a lot easier to fix habits and things like that as a child than it is as an adult. So your brain you work on it. I would suggest going to Swiss speech therapists. Who actually knows what she's talking about and can give you? I learned the name for that at one point. I don't remember it anymore but speech therapist. Good definitely help with that for sure. All right this became Niyaz podcasts. Everybody I came to her actually for advice on how to say my else. Listen and I didn't help you very much but I'm who will always say if I don't know I will refer you to someone who's head well. That's that's good about leadership. Yes for speaking about leadership. You did a couple of things in college one of the things I want to talk about though was you. Did this thing called a right of passage ceremony after college Can you describe what that was. This was a big deal for sure for sure Before I talk about I think one thing that's really important to know about me is A lot of the the things that I do I do it because I need it so i Never Willie start something saying Oh people would love this or people need this. I usually start with. I need this or I'm working on X Y and Z and that's kind of how the rite of passage started as well. I knew that I wanted to wear tasteful like like I told you earlier I went to a historically black college and university and they war can taste. Souls comes from Africa it actually symbolizes a lot of Phenomenal things and I wanted to wear it as a part of my heritage during my graduation but when I got to Andrews Andrews People told me that I couldn't wear it and that it wasn't a official academic graduation Regalia and I said that's crazy said that's insane. No I'M GONNA change that people said Oh. No you can't change it. It's been like that forever. People have been trying to get around it forever. I said No. No no this. That's not gonNA work for me. Watch me I S. It doesn't work for me so I went about learning. What are the proper channels to get the change in? How do I How do I work to make it happen? And I actually ended up going through the leadership department making it what you call a change project so basically you had to pick something that was in within your sphere of influence that you could change on your campus and your community or in the broader sense the world I chose our Eurocentric graduation policies and along with that as I did more research about the Kim Tae Stolz I realized a lot of pw is predominantly white institutions actually had these ceremonies these rite of passage ceremonies. Where they actually taught the importance of the tasteful so that students knew what they were wearing and why there were wearing it so they could really Be taken take advantage of and be happy about what they were wearing So as I started planning it I presented. It's the powers that be told told them you know why was important. I had a couple of mentors who helped me during that time and it was really really. It was a great experience. I got to learn how. How did change policy from the inside out? That's something really special. Yeah I remember watching that seeing your your post on instagram and things like that and I was like man. That's that's something really inspiring. That's something that should be done everywhere and I did do my own little trial with it. Unfortunately my university is cited. Did Not do that yet. And you know that takes work on their side of things but I was really really amazed to see the kind of work that you're able to do and really honored that you're like Phil. Let me share the stuff with you so that you can do what you gotTa do over there for sure for sure and I wanna say I think I was also in the right place at the right time. It was the right time in Andrews history for something like that to happen is definitely the right time So I cannot take credit for honestly any of it. I believe that God used me while I was there for a specific reason I'm still learning about why was doing speech. Language pathology about why was Andreas about you. Know a lot of different phases phases that we've talked about in our journey in my journey But godsman revealing things slowly to me over time saying I had you here for this reason. You hadn't than this so and so wouldn't have known about this and things like that so it's it's been cool to listen and watch and go when I'm not sure what's going on. I love that especially sometimes I get so caught up in my own journey. I'll look back and think man. If I would've just picked this everything would have worked out okay instead I've been trying to retrain my brain to say okay. Fill this did happen so because it did happen. Here's what you've learned. Here's how you can apply this and help somebody in need. Here's how that might come to play in the future. Who knows? I really appreciate the way that you have a positive outlook on life. Yeah I really do. I mean it's it's come from learning trust independence so from dropping out of college to college dropping out of Grad school to getting a job. There was is a six week period where I had to make money as a learn how to adult really really quick and apply for jobs in all those things in it taught me dependence. Thank God I have never had to be dependent like that ever ever. You know my parents. We were not in a place where I had to worry about where my next smeal was gonNA come from. I didn't have to learn dependence there. I was good at school. Even though I didn't necessarily love what I was studying I was good at it. I didn't have to learn dependence. It's there it took me being out of school. Not sure where I was supposed to be doing and not sure where my money was gonNA come from your to be completely and totally dependent on God and once I started seeing him move once. I saw him put random amounts of money in my bank account when I needed it once I literally saw. Oh him paying my bills. Oh you've got me like no you really care. I told school and I left school. And you got me so so learning being that. Trust learning that dependence Allows you to have this positive outlook when you haven't had to go through anything. It's Kinda hard to understand. It's hard to understand that God's got you because he has had the opportunity to get you that make sense so so meet me dropping out gave gave God the opportunity to go. Hey you let go so here I am in look. I've got you. You're right. I'm right here with you And and literally gave me the opportunity to see him work the way that he works And that gives you the opportunity to trust. I don't think trusting God is normal. I don't think trusting God is something that we naturally liked to do where we're humans. We were built in said like most of the things things that we need to be healthy. We naturally want to do. It's just it's against our nature so sometimes we have to be taken out of our comfort zone. We have to be taken out of you so you know what feels right to learn what is right. Wow You droppin dimes today. So now that's kind of permeated throughout the rest of your life. Now when I watcher instagram's stories you're talking about going to the gym. It's like five o'clock in the morning. I see you go in this whole eighty twenty Vegan and raw diet thing. What is going on over there? Yeah I mean it's it's really all about health for me. Twenty Twenty Year of health. That's health in you know a physical sense mental emotional Over the past the last quarter of Twenty Nineteen Ninety days is twenty nine thousand nine. I embarked on another journey Because because if you let me backtrack and say what you think about Maslow's hierarchy of needs in the bottom there things like food water shelter safety things like that At the top is emotional intelligence in learning when all those other things are not in place. You don't have time. You don't have the mental capacity to really we get into the emotional piece for sure so along my journey you've heard about where my emotional state was but I didn't have you know oh safety or I didn't have you know a couple of different things So I wasn't able to really dive into my emotional state. You know I'm out of out of school what I'm trying to work so I need to make sure my foods employees you know. I'm in survival mode. Finally when I got to about October of this year I was was able to do some introspection in realize that my The way that I saw myself was not okay. I realized that there were some fundamental on mental lies that I was really believing myself Believing about myself as truth and there were some truths that I should be believing about myself off. That wasn't wow and so I realized that something had to give and something had to change started. This journey of being intentionally healthy and I started a journey of truth based self-discovery. I'm the type of person who likes research. I like Fax Six. I don't like platitudes. If you tell me Oh your beautiful or oh you're smart. I'm going to say okay cool but you don't know that you have nothing to base that on like that Is Not evidence based so for me when it was about you know trying to build myself esteem. Build myself confidence. It was about what is is. What is evidence? Based why. Why am I using if I if I'm amazing? Why is it so for me? I started doing using self-discovery tools. I started doing things like Myers Briggs in any at Graham and things that gave me some evidence base things to look about the. We're GONNA pause right affair. What is your what is why did I really just Yup? I gave away my own. Okay well what is your Myers Briggs and actually an is f breath J. A.. Wow Yeah used to be very very close. Run the Myers Briggs in the Miami type six hundred phobic type six. Wow Yeah now I'm going to go back and look at all these things meaning as it gets lost up. You'RE GONNA look so so from that. I was able to say okay. People with vs personality types are typically good at X Y and Z..
"grad school" Discussed on Phil's Philosophies
"It's costing you emotionally absolutely lusting you spiritually. It's costing you physically not healthy. It was costing me my health so so it's really not free. What was what was the number? Two people are GonNa are GonNa say that I quit do people. We'll have to do this for you. Do people have to do the work that you're doing. Do people have to pay the costs that you're paying right now. It's not now is not they live so I a about seven o'clock in the morning at this point so I knew my mom was up and I called her and said Mom GonNa drop out and she said I was waiting for you to say. Yeah that wow and I was like what she said. You didn't listen to yourself over the break you hate it and I was just waiting for you to come to that conclusion because if I had said anything you would have said. No no no no. That's not I got it I got it I can do it I'm hardheaded like that. She said I couldn't have said anything. But I was waiting for you to come to that conclusion. Wow so she said What are you going to do so yes? She was supportive of me dropping out. But what's next. What's next because at this point you know I'm on my own and I really imp- route of where I am in terms of independence like I said I'm one of five so there are three other people who are coming behind me he At that point my brother was still at home too and he was pretty independent but he wasn't fully out like I was so I didn't want to continue to be a financial chill burden on my parents. I wanted to be financially responsible and leave enough resources for everybody else. And that's not how my parents are necessarily thinking about it. But but that's how I am as one of the children like I need to. I need to go on and do my own thing. Now that I'm old enough to go on and do my own thing and leave the resources for everybody body else. Sure some moms like okay. So what are you gonNA do. Rent was doing five days and I knew that because I was dropping out. I couldn't use any of the loan money. They had just dispersed for that semester. Because this January says new dispersal and I knew I was going to pay it back so I don't WanNA use any of that low money and so I was like Okay God and what you do is do is do so. In five days I came up with rent and you know. I BABYSAT BABYSAT Uber. I did what I had to do and I came up with rent. Wow and dot got me through January and then I started applying for jobs so my mom and I kind of talked to deal so I was like. I'm GonNa do this this this this and this and I was like my goal is to get a job as soon as possible if I need to try to move in with the family member here here in Atlanta if I can't find a job etcetera I'm just going to do what I need to do. And that's a story high draft out. He just I applied. I applied. I applied applied and six weeks later. I found a job. Wow grinding though ladder. Grinding a lot of grinding yeah yeah that's something else. I remember when I was doing education and people who listen to the PA. They know the stores. I'M NOT GONNA keep retelling it but I remember also working on my lesson plans and going into teach. Those sixth graders and sixth graders. Were little monsters. I loved him they they were good little kids but I I kept looking at my computer every morning every night. Being like I hate this what else can I do. My family is a bunch of teachers and preachers choose. It's almost like we don't know. In some cases that other things exists. Yeah so I thought well again another minor and yeah. I have four miners where miners. I am ridiculous definitely and graduated graduated five years with four miners and a major. Because just like going to different conferences. I was going to different departments while still in school trying to figure out. You know the job things are are coming. Which one do I pick right? And I settled on intercultural communication. It's my last minor and it was great. I was exhausted. I was really really busy. Just it's like you described in college and is slept and that was my enjoyment and I'd wake up and be like I'm liking this. The research is cool but then graduation can happened and I sat in a dorm room and I was like so. I didn't really think much about how I can really use this right now so soon. And and what else what other trainings I can get and so yeah. Welcome to Phil's philosophy is we're still figuring that still figuring it out but that's okay I think life is about figuring it out. Are you on a journey. And every step of the journey is on the path to something good on the path to something yet. I I talk about all the time that the essence of God is good and he orchestrates everything in our life to be good. You know he says all things work together for the good of those who love him and who are called according to his purpose or every every step on the journey every step on the path is on on the path to good. Yeah everything is on about even though it may not feel good even though is this season a struggle etc.. It's on the path to good. So that's what my parents have always taught me. My parents have always been very vocal about their very circuitous journey as well And I'm not GonNa go on and tell their stories because I love giving them the opportunity to tell their stories but everybody has this circuitous journey that just you know it loops in. It doesn't necessarily make makes sense until you get to the end and say okay and understand that I understand that you mentioned earlier that I felt called to ministry. Yeah now that I I can look back on it. I don't think I was called necessarily to vocational ministry but I am called to to live a life of ministry and live a life that leads others to God and I think I eventually will do that. Ah in part vocationally But I'm starting to realize that passion in calling invocation don't always have to align. Wow yeah they they really don't always have to align. You had to have a vocation because you have to make money Ryan. A Workman is worthy of his wages. You gotTa make money needs to be a burden on society. You gotta be able able to pay your bills but then you also have this thing called passion and calling which oftentimes or they should coexist right. Because God cares about what you like. Yeah got cares about what you're passionate about. And he gave you your desires for a reason So so he can figure out how to had you live out that calling and I believe and I'm still learning. I'm not there yet. I I don't know if I ever will be at a place where I say this is exactly it but I am willing to follow and I am listening and watching For ways to live out ministry in my life still doing yes. You're falling you're calling however ever. You're still doing what you're passionate about at the same time. You're just supporting yourself home yourself. Yeah for sure I heard in the Bible dude named Paul. Yeah Yeah apparently the greatest missionary of all time but was also a tent maker. I don't really feel like he loved making ten. Yeah I don't know if that's anybody's passion to make ten. We sure he had to make a living right. We gotta do the same things. But I think we've been told way too many times. That your passion and your vocation to one in the same. We're honestly I feel like if you're passionate your vocation. I went in the same lattice times. You could end up earned out that. Yeah Yeah you definitely can definitely can. You can sure it out and lose everything that you're called to do as your health too so I wanted to talk a little bit about faith. You've mentioned faith a little bit before and Oliver all over online. What I see from Darville sticky note? Faith yeah what is that. Yes a sticking out. Fate is actually a tool that are developed by sophomore. More Year of college was New Year's resolution of mine to get to know God more and get to know God a little bit better in little. Did I know that that would start. Start this whole journey of really trying to follow guide but for me I realized that I had never really been taught how to read the Bible. My parents are people the faith my grandparents are people faith You know sometimes I like to think about us like the Levi. It's in the Bible says family of preachers in and and it goes way way way back. However I don't remember being taught exactly how to read the Bible? I remember being told to read the Bible. Oh I remember reading the Bible for you know my my Sabbath school lessons and things like that but I don't remember learning exactly how I'm I and the type of person I am is like tools and I like creating tools and so I created a tool for myself to learn how to study the Bible. I'm so what I would do. Is I would read a chapter of the Bible and then I would write down the verse that stuck out to me on a sticky note and I created this thing called faith wall so in the in the in my dorm room. I'll have a wall of sticky notes all these verses that admit something Simi- as I was reading the Bible and whenever I didn't feel like like reading the Bible or struggling or upset I could just look at my face wall and get the ounce of faith that I needed to make make it through. It's the next day that's powerful. Yeah so I started using this tool and I started posting my sticky notes on my I was on snapped at that time on my snapchat on my instagram and I start sharing them and then some people started reaching out to me and saying hey sometimes this is the only Bible I get a day. Sometimes this is the only time I hear what God has to say to me so I wanted to teach other people how to read the Bible too and that's when I created a website for it. I started blogging about the different insights. That I was receiving from God as I was reading and it started growing people started using it and to this day some people still reach out and tell me hey. Hey this is how I studied the Bible. This is how it works for me. This is how I'm getting closer to God so it was really cool. It's really cool. Seeing it spread the way that it did for sure and once again living Out a little piece of your passion even if it wasn't your fulltime job sharing something about your faith with the rest of the world. That's really something special so right right now as I'm looking at you I see you've got a new hairstyle. Adeel got a little something going on. And there's a reason why asking you this because through the years I've seen on instagram program. Your hair has changed. Maybe you've cut it sometimes running out a little bit longer for a lot of young women especially those who are African descent Hair means something away for. You doesn't mean anything. Oh Yeah for sure for sure I tell people all the time when my hair changes something changed in my life or I needed something to change in my life. I needed something to control so my hair change usually. It's it'll be a cut. It'll be a color. My hair has changed at least six or seven times since my college career and you heard how tumultuous my college career was so my hair reflected that right before I went to Andrew. Take it all off when I started my faith dirty my sophomore year. I cut it in colored it My junior year I colored it congruent out my senior year it looked a little bit different and then when I came here for Grad School I cut it again so when I dropped out of Grad School I color. They were just every time that I've done something different. There's been something going on in my life sure But it just for some reason it helps me helps helps you feel a sense of control when I know life oftentimes is out of my control just gives me something I can I can touch. I can definitely understand stand that I haven't been fully diagnosed as Adhd or add yet..
"grad school" Discussed on Phil's Philosophies
"Present And so I just went on in and did it. I did what I had to do. Wow so talk to me about that. Plunge you've gone now from Oakwood University. Which is an Alabama Alabama gone up to now Michigan And excuse me. And now. You're trying to be a speech pathologist. So what else were you involved in at school. School really kept you going because that's a lot of stress. Do you have any creative outlets. So I actually didn't have any creative outlets while I was there. What kept me? It wasn't terribly mostly healthy at the time in my life Yes I was stressed. Yes I was probably depressed at at several points in that journey however I did not take enough time to sit with that what I did instead was. I made myself busy. Eighty the busier. I felt the less I could feel the busier. I was the less I could feel so I was so busy that I literally take time to sleep. I didn't have time to think about how lonely I was. I didn't have time to think about how I wasn't really enjoying what I was studying and I wasn't wasn't really sure what the rest of my life was going to look like but I was busy and I was doing good things so nobody could question my business. Yeah but I still wasn't being unhealthy. You're preaching to the choir today. I hope you know that. Wow that's something because I felt like even in my own life. I've done all these things you know. It's now twenty twenty and I think back to twenty ten to twenty twenty and I think of all the things that I tried to do to say to myself. Okay so you do matter number one and two. You're doing good things you should be busy. Be Working on fast and now I've gotten to the point where I'm kind of sitting at home going. Wait a minute. Did I get a degree in something. That actually like Did I think about much in the future that kind of thing. Yeah wow that's something else right here so tell me about maybe a little bit more of your emotional health. How did you move from well number one? You Know Sunshine so I'm sure you already struggling. Yeah Yeah and the number to you change in your major number three. You're only going to bed for enjoyment much. So how is your emotional health of kind of I don't WanNa say evaporating but moving forward from then and now today Like I said I think God calls each specific things is at specific times guy called me to Andrew for a specific reason And I think part of it was isolation wow I needed that time of isolation. I needed that time of Struggle And I did accomplish a lot of things that I think. Were really helpful for the school but for me particularly I needed that time away because I developed in a way that I wouldn't have developed when I was in my my place of comfort when I was I learned how to be alone and how to be okay with being alone I learned how to get closer to God even when I was struggling even though I didn't take the time to really understand understand the extent of my emotional state. I knew that I wasn't happy and I was able to turn to God and I was able to as you journal more and I was able to. You know just to sit and be still a bit like I just talked about being busy right So it's a little oxymoronic but When I wasn't busy I was completely still and it was like how am I going to be? Okay Hey with myself in this still state. I don't have a bunch of friends to go hang out with and I don't have all these things. So how am I going to be okay being alone so so yeah. That's that's what life was like at that stage you know. We'll talk a little bit about my emotional health later in life but at that stage I didn't necessarily have language language to attach to what I was going through. I just knew that it was important. Whatever that season was that it wasn't for no reason and that I needed to make the most of it and so in that moment you went there and you finished your degree? This incredible things on the way and then I got to meet you you too that we did not meet in person for a couple of months yes social media is a great thing it is it is I learned from you. I was inspired Harry by you. I tried to do some similar things even at my own university. And then you move to Atlanta Dad. You went to Grad School. I went to Grad School. And I'm sitting with you right now. Yes and you're in Grad school and that in Grad school was going so continued on that speech. Language pathology track I was actually really successful with it. I got into several Grad schools. But I actually was accepted to Georgia State University here in Atlanta for free so I was on school for free. I didn't have to pay for anything. I was taking out loans to live but in terms of tuition and things like that it was completely free. So that's what brought me here to Atlanta. And that's why I say that I think God calls he to specific things at specific times. Because if I wasn't in Grad school there really wouldn't have been another reason reason for me to come to Atlanta. I came because it was free I really wanted to be in the DMV area. I thought that was going to be really cool but Howard. It wasn't offering me enough money so I said okay. I'm GonNa go where it's free and I stay there for two years and then I'll go to the DNV area. But that has not been the case I am here uh of and I was in Grad School. I was working I was actually working underneath one of my mentors. In speech language pathology. I was really excited about that. I was interested in African American Englishman accurately and we call it botox go. Oh Yeah Aka. OVONIC's was interested in for sure and Dr Julie. Washington is one of the lead researchers in studying being the grammatical the grammatical What we're looking for the grammatical now just the Grammatical Structure Chore of African African American English macular and kind of legitimizing it as a dialect? You're right and that's exactly what it is so learning about that researching that and actually trying to affirm the usage of the dialect. It was really cool research but what I realized while I was in school was that I really didn't enjoy the practice of speech therapy. The research was cool because I am naturally learner and what I found myself doing and was trying to pick something that I liked within speech. Language Pathology I was I was picking from a closed set of options right so I was going to these conferences. Trying to figure out. Okay okay. This might be interesting. This might be interesting or maybe this but nothing really interested me and I didn't see beyond on the closed set. Wow see close set so I had chosen. This people had seen me choose. This people already probably thought I was a flake because I went from Oakwood to Andrews and I went from education to speech therapy so if I make another major decision that changes that people people are really going to think. I have no idea what I'm doing. which in fact I had no idea what I was doing but I did not want to be perceived that way show? I'm in Grad at school. I'm doing the best with where I am. which I firmly believe that you're supposed to bloom where you're planted right but sometimes you can uproot yourself you? You know we when it's not the right fit and you've been told to do something else. You could uproot yourself something that a lot of people don't know was towards the end of my first semester actually felt called to ministry. Wow actually yeah I actually felt called to ministry is actions. Were in Grad school the first semester in Grad school so I have always been A person of faith and I've always been very vocal about my faith and I've always his Shared my faith whenever I have the opportunity to but I actually felt called soon ministry towards November October November of my I E semester of Grad School and I actually went on applied for a job in ministry actually was offered it and decided now. I don't WanNa do this. This is too much is too much I'm GONNA stay in Grad School. I'm GonNa Finish what I started going to say no to this particular opportunity because I already. This is too much too soon. Wow so I went back to Grad School. I continue Grad School And I went home for for for Christmas break and I was so I was in such a bad place. Certain in such a bad place part of me was like well. You know I disobey God because I felt called to ministry and I did it go through with it. So maybe maybe that's why I hate school so much or I really don't enjoy what I'm doing. I really don't enjoy what I'm doing and I kept saying that so my mom like I really hate school like no. I really hate school but wasn't allowing myself to consider the fact that hey you chose to be in school. And never I didn't take responsibility instability for my choices at didn't realize that choices can be undone you can make new choices. Of course so I went went back to school in January and I was in school for about two weeks and I actually just looked at it instagram story. I posted a look back at my archives on January nineteen nineteen. I hit posted a picture of a lesson plan that I was working on and my caption for the lesson plan was wow. I really hate doing this. And at that point it's still had not even dawned on me that it was an option to not do that. Yeah it it. It blew my mind when I realized. Oh I don't have to do this in your margins I I have options. I'm a person who likes to finish what she starts. Of course so the fact that there was an option for me to not finish. It didn't even even occurred to me. Didn't even occur to you probably felt like failure to go somewhere to up your life to move in a place where all you had to do is take out loans just to live. Yeah yeah which are as big as school loan so you know not too bad not too bad right in free education free now. That was one of the biggest draws for me. You just say you degree it was free but what I started realizing I woke up the next Friday January twenty fifth. I woke up and I was working on a lesson planet. Five five o'clock in the morning because I work hard even if I hate it do what I need to do. A five o'clock in the morning working as texting some my my friends and I was like you. I really hate this and they said Oh we really hate this to a certain. So why are we here. And that was the first time I asked myself self that question. Yeah so why am I here. I started answering. 'cause it's free will. Is it free. You taking out loans to live. It's.
"grad school" Discussed on Phil's Philosophies
"Today's guest Nia Darville. So near Ni- we became friends over social media few years ago and I've been able to watch her journey ever since with instagram and her blog she shares her faith journey Ernie and live journey and recently she dropped out of Grad School. Thank you for being on the show. Ya Thank you for having me Phil here in Sunny Atlanta. Something like that not quite a a little bit chilly today. But it's okay. Cold weather only lasts for a maximum of five days. You're right I got here. Maybe a few weeks ago and it was seventy degrees. Yeah yeah that's it's the south. I'm a southern girl. I will always live in the south. Hopefully you know I try not to make my plans to far out but the south has my heart because it will always always be warm at some point and a two week span you know especially. I'm sure that comes from someone who came from a university in Michigan okay. Those were probably two of the hardest years of my life. I didn't see the sign like that's actually a real thing that people struggle with and I had no idea that it would be a factor tear in my happiness while I was at college. You know So being in a place where there wasn't the sign and where it was cloudy where it was great it was actually extremely difficult and that for me actually probably would have been amazing really. I don't like sunshine. Let's yeah you're in an interesting place right now. Because Atlanta the sun shines probably eighty percent of the time I really. I didn't hear that that's not good. Sorry hopefully the send warm your heart Phil. Hopefully it'll it'll change your mind a little bit. I'll come to the dark side eventually. Hello well well for everyone visiting who's ever visited Atlanta Atlanta. What would you recommend them to do? I and why so I think it really depends on the person but my favorite place in Atlanta is Piedmont Park Piedmont Park about that. So Piedmont Park is a huge park in the middle of Atlanta. It has a lake it has sunshine fine has trees in a lot of people running around. It's really busy and I honestly just like to go and sit and breathe I I like to People Watch. I like to journal and I'll usually just take a blanket. I keep a blanket in my car. I take a blanket out and stretch out and it's a moment for me to would be still be still. I can breathe and I can relax. Honestly that is a blessing for all of you out there who just want a place to relax not looking looking for city life. Necessarily you just want to come and drive through hurt the horrendous traffic of Atlanta just to find a spot to sit I hate driving being out. Here it's something else but I like that Piedmont Park. Let's get into it. I WanNa know just a little bit about who you are. How would you describe yourself the hard question? How would I describe myself? I think I would describe myself as a young adult. Who's just trying to figure life out I really leash. Strive to be healthy in all areas of my life I'm striving for health. I'm striving to grow I'm learning I'm a learner. I think I'll always be lifelong learner. and I really tried to apply the knowledge that I that I you know obtain. I'm learning just for the sake of learning. I'm learning to be better. I'm learning to be healthy. I'm learning to grow so I think that's how I describe myself. I think that's a good place to be and welcome to Phil's philosophies Auspey is where I'm a young adult figure it all out so anything that you can learn. I'm going to try and learn to how about that. Let's say hop on board. So what's your what's your background. What kind of family do you come from all that? Good stuff right for sure I love talking about my family because I really believe that The families that we grow up in and release shape who we are as people. I talk about birth order all the time on the second oldest of kids a five five five of us. Wow Yeah Yeah I knew that there is there's a lot The oldest is a boy so I always say I'm the oldest because girls always mature faster than boys etc etc on flux six. Do you worry about it. But so growing up as the second oldest of five I had to become a leader. Early Liane right. I'm towards the beginning of the birth order. There're many behind me The youngest kid is nine years younger than I am. Wow So I had to learn how to lead and wasn't really successful at that growing up. I was very bossy. Ask them they didn't really like following uh-huh that age but that really helped me to start to learn how to home leadership So I come from a family like I said I'm from down south. have a fantastic phenomenal mom and dad. They've taught me so much and it's been cool to watch character traits that I saw in them come out in me as as I get older A lot of people talk about. Oh I don't WanNa be just like my mom and dad but that's opposite for me like my parents are dope. My parents are incredible and they've always really challenged me and empowered me to live my own life and to question things and to Give me this space. The safe space to really explore which I know a lot of people don't necessarily have that safe space for so it's kind of my background academically. I studied speech. Language pathology and audiology and went to Oakwood University. Oh hold on said speech language Palate in audiology and audio all here is a lot of. Yes hawks stuff. Yes so speech. Language pathology and audiology. That's a fancy word for or speech. Therapy or the hearing Dr. So and Undergrad. A lot of people call it communication sciences and disorders so speech therapy therapy the the easiest way for people to think about it. Is that person who helps you. Correct your lists in your stutter. And he can't see a proper sound. It's so so much deeper than that and I won't go into all of it but basically it's helping people communicate. And so that's what I studied. Undergrad what brought you to that happen. You know that's a pretty for me. That seems like a pretty specific niche. I'm going to grow up and I'M GONNA help people with their lists. Yeah that's not where I started actually started started in in education. I've been there. Yes I started there and I realized that I did not like being in a classroom full of twenty kids at a time it. Oh Yeah it was exhausting. I really admire teachers I really affirm the work that they do it super important work but I just know I was not cut Out For it so for me. It was a natural jump from education. Speech pathology because in speech pathology. I could use a little bit more science which I was interested listed in and still teach. It was a perfect marriage between between science and teaching and I was able to marry the two with one on kit at a time. I didn't have to work with twenty kids right. I could do one therapy session at a time and for me it kind of aligned with my purpose which. I'm sure we'll talk about later but I always felt called to help people overcome. Things never prevented them from being fully themselves. Wow so I did that in education in and then I did that in speech. Language pathology as well. So did you go from one major to the next. Yes so I actually went from one school to the next. Oh okay I started off at Oakwood University diversity in Huntsville. Alabama was a historically black college university and I loved my experience there But I decided to go to Andrews University just just because I felt like I needed to be challenged a little bit more In a particular department that I was in I did it feel like I was challenged. I felt very comfortable. uh-huh and I've learned that growth doesn't come from comfortable places right so I felt called to go to a school where I didn't know anybody. Sorry I think I knew one or two people and when I got there While I was there literally a weekend I had this panic moment because I realized education was not what what I wanted to do right so I was panicking. I was praying. You know it was like Oh my goodness I transferred up here for education and people are GonNa think I was crazy. People are GONNA say why would she do this. She doesn't know what she's doing etc etc but I felt led to Actually study speech language pathology and audiology while it was there. Wow now can you describe what that process looks like because for many people you know as pastors and teachers nurses doctors etc.. They're just like you know. I felt all called to the ministry so for you. What was that calling process like So number one. I don't think that God called me to be a speech language pathologist ultimately. I believe he called me to that field for that portion of my life so I don't think that callings are necessarily lifelong. I think that God calls you to specific things during specific periods of your life. How so during that time I think when you're talking to God and and you developed a relationship for him I mean the developed a relationship with him? He'll actually speak to you other people he'll speak to you in in in your gut gut feeling that she'd get a lot of times people think that's your conscience But for me I've realized a lot of times. If if I'm studying my word if communing with God daily that's actually the Holy Spirit talking to me so that process look like me sitting down one day and and working on my mission statement as a teacher and realizing that my mission statement did not match the vocation that had picked and you know so earlier I had actually had a spiritual mentor in my life. who had told me? Hey you should be a speech pathologist like a year before and I just hadn't even ha ha ha. I'm going to be a teacher. You know just hadn't even crossed my mind and did not cross my mind again until that moment where I said okay. I'm not going to be a teacher. Sure so what's next and literally speech pathology came to my head and I went to a speech pathology office got up from class and went to the speech pathology the office. It was actually located in the same building and awkward. Yes and I made an appointment with an adviser and they were able to talk to me this that same day day and it all worked out fasted and prayed and I talked to my parents about it and they were very supportive. There have always been very supportive when and I go through one of these major life transitions and It made sense. I think I think God's calling is a little crazy but it also makes sense. There's there's that balance between it's crazy but it's feasible so both of.
"grad school" Discussed on Papa Phd Podcast
"Beat because you want to go to law school or Med school or because you want access domain that requires you to have a related degree. You may be headed back to the classroom after Grad Grad school probably be a much better student than you were before and your motivation for studying and for completing the degree will be much greater at this juncture in today's episode will be talking with Tomorrow Luke and hearing about how she decided to study law after her masters degree and how she navigated her way in the position she occupies today before we go on and because this is episode ten I want to make a special announcement. I'm officially launching the PAPA. PhD Patriarch Page if you want to contribute and if you'd like to actually participate in the show you can go to patriots dot com slash Papa Peach St and become a patrons starting today you'll contribution will allow me to continue producing better and better content and interviewing great guests. Thank you for your support and welcome to the show so today we'll be talking post Grad school careers with Tamara Merrill Luke. Tamara is a former scientist who left the lab bench for the law after a master's degree in neuroscience she went to law school to become a patent as lawyer but on away there she took unique and exciting opportunities that led her down a completely different paths. She's now director of legal affairs at an entertainment taint production company in Toronto. Welcome to the show tomorrow. I thank you for having me my pleasure so tell us a little bit more about yourself. Often about what you do in your current position sure so you know like you mentioned I Lee met when we were at McGill. did my master's a a nurse science the A A head. I'm sure we'll get into this sort of realized as going really masters that I wasn't hasn't really cut out for bench working at work in I wasn't really enjoying the research aspect of it and I found myself struggling on what to do. Outside of the academic we searched a career on in my professor was doing my masters masters with Tim Kennedy. He was the one who suggested to this area log. Halls intellectual property. You know is upset upset that patent laundry. It's basically you can still be involved in science. You still get to learn. We still get involved. See other people's experience in all all the cool stuff is going on science but you don't have to the bench work and I thought Oh that sounds really good because it's not that I really love science who will unsexy stuff that happens science but I just didn't love doing bench so I said that sounds really cool. I started to into saying so I decided I would not transition. Hei with Spanish masters can go to take the time out loss which I did in my hundred percent lions going into loss was I was going to do. I am intellectual. Property knows where at which I started to both you're on I some in article at intellectual property firm in Toronto in out in part of their biotechnology of technology. Life Sciences had group so spent some time doing that. It happened to be just when I picked up what usually happens when you're out of your imperfect move. Sometimes you'll do rotations depending on firm but a lot of time partners will send out emails to the students say got file or Arctic that I need help on does anyone at times and I I happen to get One went out to our students from partner. Sue is in hard earned that does marketing advertising and it was related to pharmaceutical advertising was far she needed research on for that. She's going to choose presenting and and it sounded really cool. I mean like was all about direct consumer advertising in all the different types of pharmacy flat reciting. Doing it's really interesting so I jumped on to any of the opportunity to partner with her quite a bit on these murphy advocates lead to more projects coming my way from her started working together closely when I got hired by the as a full-blown lawyer it was with her and that turned into me doing biotech patents to me marketing advertising which is really cool. I mean you know very current. I will see I reunited then see it on TV next day which was something thing I kind of struggled with with research aspect that I was doing. Was You know a lot of I realized it would maybe make a sentence sentence. In a in a big picture of you know. There wasn't a lot of immediacy to the work I was doing so I liked that. Martino marketing advertise that I liked was immediacy of seeing a was going so I stayed there for a few years in the switch to join a media company doing their marketing in advertising sales contrast so then I was there for a few years and I made transition from bear basically because that was part of the entertainment industry of all the things that go along with that lay boxin talent rights. I think I'm the just recently made Swish to me in Trauma Ohio where he has seen house so that's that's again coming back to what you're saying. It's very interesting so what I'm very curious about is how was a finishing your master's and and then doing the the leap to go to law school. How did that happen? was it simple. Did you have any worries so how was that experience of of saying okay. I'm finishing these studies Anon- going into other studies Sarah. I'm hanging my hat and laptop. Basically you sure it was a very uncertain Heads at was taking was a complete one one eighty getting into law school itself wasn't vetted. Oh Oh me coming masters. I guess you know that's right a bit. I didn't get into all schools. I went. I did also say in but I got into the night on university which I'm so th related and but I would say once I guys once in las only was a hardest thing is in science for research trained so that part wasn't heard what it was difficult was volume readings instantly resum s Turk but a volume of the you you know arts kids in political science liberal arts feels bear used to eating volumes of of ages in one night for a work whereas science a little worried isn't or when you're being assigned a a science textbook every single word is or is not alive slough or context you can get speed you can't speed reading that was always the biggest adjust as I was reading every single word trying to make sense of it which is hard to do when you hundred pieces. The reading for you know. Five class is to do each night. That was probably the hardest part of the transition as one of those things like you. No you skill stood up in and figure note that's a very specific difficulty that I had but all those things that I learned in brats on science frugal thinking discipline dedication all of that he incredibly handy end was I think is rental in my ability initiative ice successive law school in end in artists or the legal world writing also I guess row for sure writing to absolutely writing for Sir and juries sleet up once he autism when you have two presentations presentations as well you know we're used in especially at in research get up and present your findings by often presenting is something that often you're acting in my area and one of the things that also houses in the science fields. I'm powerpoint side. We don't flatter it with a whole bunch of everything's kind of brief in its that makes so much easier is less of a difficulty for you to make powerpoint slide than it is out out with other people in the legal guilty just a powerpoint site with texting you're you're just reading and then and then the loser loser their audience so all those things eastern way you know pick up about having your research yourself all Human Mary in Meister Post House Fred School light excellent end and once you had you know you said you talked with your Supervisor Reserve he he told you about about Intellectual Property Law. How how did you deal emotionally with okay you know what I'm actually writing my my masters and not following through like my colleagues that are around me to my phd etc how was that and the was it easy to find the motivation to finish android up Oh yes by partially because I hadn't basically enrolled to start out in law school in September? I finished up my bench work in December before that so I basically had you know nine months in which frank this thesis so I had to be motivated to do it as I didn't want. I knew once I got started school again in her writing would take back a hard deadline line that you needed to basically so you know I had that motivation to get done you hard and and did you go through any doubts you know 'cause I imagine even from other people. I've talked to that. There's kind of a kind of a mourning the process that you can go through of you know what I'm I'm leaving Grad school earlier than I thought but it feels to me that once you found this objective that somehow you didn't have these notes anymore yeah. That's that's right. I was just thinking voted. I mean maybe there was a little bit of warning like well John just finishing earlier than I want in that most people do your most people transition to PhD's Peachy but I think once you know once things became clear that there could be a future for me in this he'll than once I got aw written Yeltsin on Allen plays those doubts in those that scientists warning Kinda just fell away in a whole new part of my life. That was really exciting. yeah a terrifying because you really don't know what lies ahead but it was always been a big proponent of just taking things on step at a time out this next step ahead of in house all right. This is the exciting it's got sort of some kind of clear path ahead of me on and I I really just started at motivated about holy chapter my wife out of place excellent and then so you finished your master's you you did your thesis. Yes and you went onto to law school so you went onto study again and I imagine that you know you. You had habits that you had gained throughout Grad school that that served you once you're in law school but probably other habits that came afterwards what main attitudes over principles have accompanied you throughout your your study path because I am thinking some people might might want no really quickly. I want to get a job. I WANNA get into real life and you decided you chose a path that meant studying for X. More years and I imagine somehow you know in growing into that that that path that you chose the the lessons that you learned that they were habits that you gain that have helped you yeah well. I think part of it I mean in terms of that transition. I know a lot of people are or snake. You don't make some money and I was lucky enough to have a unbound that one and I think the other part of it is you know taking deciding to study order as a mature student I didn't because I was a three to four years older than everybody else in my last night I guess most people in my law school as thinks that too I took took Ford in now. I'm you know for the same reason three or four years older than a lot of people in my senior all that I don't sweat small also is much more mature student. You have had the benefit of extra experience so you know that there's you no no not as a small supplemental worry about you don't you don't you don't really waste time on the stuff. That doesn't doesn't matter anymore at the House Komo any carry through through especially Moslem Tucson to yeah I don't I don't.
"grad school" Discussed on The Brutal Truth About Sales and Selling
"Grad school and it takes you through you don't even have to be in sales i'll walk you through the whole process you'll have access to it for year doesn't mean it takes a year it means you have access to it for a year it could take you a couple of weeks or it could take you a year right we all need help we all need a coach someone to bounce ideas off of a little community to see what's working for other people and that's what i'm trying to build with these courses and office hours in the office hours are there for us to get on onto zoom do a screen share cover both a lesson some feedback some questions and be able to share experiences about what working and what's not working for us so please make sure you're checking out that also check out the show notes for all the connections to everybody who's partner with me on this journey with the b brutal truth podcast network hey we got a network i also have a podcast called career advice because what's happened is most of your questions are career oriented questions you know a lot of you have great sales skills some of you feel they're good enough and you just want better career advice i've started that podcast it's not just for sales people's for people anybody in the careers to talk about strategy when i seen work mistakes i've made and i've seen other people make and how to prevent them so the idea of the podcast just a fun riff and chat with people on career topics that matter to you because let's face it if you pick the wrong industry.
"grad school" Discussed on KOIL
"The last the tailender grad school just finish that up here in may on anything you could imagine though like i had a buddy mind franc he basically bought my guns off of me that i ended up buying them back 'cause i've either bunny that badly um so yeah as furniture i'm saying the debt though the fit that guns were the guns that well in a sense because i had every of buying them back i say you ponder your body igf ugh i again so that's kind of a debt that you had to get back to get your guns bagra not straight cool all right fun so um a little bit of everything yes so what started the process of getting out of debt while you were dating what brought the subject up how did you decide to do this i think we both wanted to be debt free and weird i was probably more familiar with you at that time and she had loosely heard about the dave ramsey plan but just knowing that we wanted to know we're getting into so we talked about it and then kinda put it out there and then slowly were going towards the of the goal of being that free and then when we were down here nashville last year that's when we pretty much looked at each other so we need to do this a lot more seriously and go more to the goodsell intense instead of wandering towards the sun and then once you're married you just lena and get get it done then to the first year of your marriages beans and rice rice and beans and knock out debt yes and just completely on it so what are you tell people the key to getting out of debt is and i would say patients with each other and aggressive let that and not the other area that's good skip the aggression pointed that the proper things i bet that was hard sometimes it was.